Selfies: The Word of the Year

An apt description of our generation.

It’s official. The Oxford English dictionary just announced “selfie”as their International Word of the Year 2013.

The annual honor goes to a new word or expression that attracted the greatest interest during the year. Judy Pearsall, Editorial Director for Oxford Dictionaries, explained the decision: “Using the Oxford Dictionaries language research programme, which collects around 150 million words of current English in use each month, we can see a phenomenal upward trend in the use ofselfiein 2013. Frequency of the word in the English language has increased by 17,000% during the past 12 months.”

And it’s not just that people are using the word a lot. What it describes has become a universal obsession.

In case you don’t know, selfies are self-portraits taken on smartphones and uploaded to social media. More than 53 million of these pictures have been tagged #selfie on the photo-sharing site Instagram, 93% of teenagers take pride in regularly using them, and they make up an ever greater portion of Internet content. Mobile phones now come with cameras specially designed for the arm's length selfie shot. And their message is always the same: me, me, me.

Facebook and Twitter have been elevated to a new level of narcissism. We are no longer content to share ideas; we only want to share our image. Like the egomaniac who stands still while changing a light bulb because he believes that the whole world revolves around him, the worshipers of selfies give new meaning to the word “I”dolatry - ignoring everything in their surroundings except for themselves.

The past few months gave us incredible illustrations.

While scores of onlookers watched in horror as a suicidal man prepared to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge, a bystander turned her back to the scene, angled her phone toward the bridge and snapped a shot which would prominently feature her profile even as it included the less significant sight in the background. To complete the picture, the scarf- clad blonde cracked a thin smile just to make sure she looked her best.

Visitors to the Auschwitz death camp routinely make mock- horror faces while photographing themselves touring the site meant to recall the unparalleled crime of the 20 century, giving greater priority to their presence than to the stark reminders of the evils perpetrated there.

The “Selfie Hall of Fame” for the past year has been on display on a website that included a Florida high school student who took a selfie that included his teacher going into labor in the background and selfies at funerals featuring young people frighteningly unaware of the inappropriateness of their self-centeredness. “Love my hair today. Hate why am dressed up.#Funeral” texted one teenager with herself in the foreground and the corpse of her deceased grandmother visible in the background in an open casket.

The clear winner for most outrageous selfie – because of the prominence of its participants – is the one that went viral around the world, featuring a triumvirate of political superstars attending the memorial service for former South African president Nelson Mandela. At what was meant to have been a solemn service recognizing the achievements of the person who brought apartheid to an end, we witnessed the president of the United States, Barack Obama, British Prime Minister David Cameron and Danish Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt happily giggling their way through a selfie session.

In the aftermath, the founder of the website “Selfies at Funerals” announced he was bringing the site to a close: “Obama has taken a funeral selfie, so our work here is done.” When reality overtakes parody, there is no longer room for satire.

When reality overtakes parody, there is no longer room for satire.

Judaism long ago recognized that the greatest threat to the worship of God is the idolization of the ego. The 10 Commandments begin with the verse “I am the Lord your God who took you out of the land of Egypt, the house of bondage.” The first word is “I” - and it refers to the Almighty. It asks us to replace the personal obsession we have with our own selves for an awareness of a higher power who controls the world. In a very profound sense, the Torah does indeed teach “an I for an I ” – to substitute the supremacy of the Creator for the feeling of our own preeminence.

My father, of blessed memory, taught me a profound insight into the prayer with which observant Jews begin every day. In Hebrew, we recite modeh ani. It is a prayer of thanksgiving for the return of our souls after sleep, a blessing of gratitude for the first of God’s gifts to us throughout our waking day. In English the opening phrase is translated “I give thanks.” When I was old enough to understand the Hebrew words, I asked my father why the Hebrew seems to be written in a grammatically incorrect way. The word modeh means to thank; it is the word ani that means I. Should we not, I questioned, read it “ani modeh,” the way we say it in English, “I give thanks”?

No, my father responded. That would make the first word out of our mouths every single day the word “ani” –I. That’s impossible for a Jew – to think first and foremost of himself. Let the first word to come from our lips be modeh, demonstrating gratitude is more important than ego. All that we have comes from God. This is what you must remember your entire life. Turn your camera around and worship Him, not yourself.

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About the Author

Rabbi Benjamin Blech, a frequent contributor to Aish, is a Professor of Talmud at Yeshiva University and an internationally recognized educator, religious leader, and lecturer. Author of 14 highly acclaimed books with combined sales of over a half million copies, his newest, The World From A Spiritual Perspective, is a collection of over 100 of his best Aish articles. See his website at rabbibenjaminblech.com.

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 47

(41)
Anonymous,
January 1, 2016 8:30 PM

I think it's okay to take a picture of yourself just as it is okay to take a picture of anyone else, but if that's all you're focused on it becomes a big problem. Self-absorption can be caused by selfies.

(40)
Anonymous,
January 30, 2014 10:56 PM

Exactly True, But...

I agree with the article completely but was irritated by the comment "scarf-clad blonde", as if her hair color had anything to do with it. There are many blonde converts and born Jews out there (I happen to know a few) who would take offense at this kind of crack since it comes off as equating "dumb goy" with "blonde". This may seem minor or comical to some, but not to others. Nitpicking, maybe, but I've read too many articles with these kind of jabs.

(39)
Rabbi Michael Bernstein,
December 20, 2013 2:07 AM

A different take on the selfie and the ego

There are good points made by both the author and some of the commentators disagreeing with him. It's hard not to see trends toward narcissism today even if the actual incident in South Africa may have been quite a different moment than is depicted here. However, I find it interesting that this weeks parasha, Shemot also points toward the opposite danger - the loss of self. A midrash even credits the Israelites drive to keep surviving despite the crushing weight if the Pharaoh's decree to a game that was played between husbands and wives involving mirrors. They would use the mirrors, ancient selfies, to highlight their appearance and share themselves even in the face of slavery and hard labor. Narcissism can be poisonous, but we should be careful not to mistake spirituality for ego-lessness, either .

(38)
Tracee,
December 19, 2013 12:49 PM

self obsession

I agree completely that it seems there are an unbelievably large number of people, not only teens, that are completely self obsessed. My main reasong Facebook. Sadly, as an adult I have found this to be true of most people I meet. Putting yourself as your main priority and feeling like everyone else should as well is nothing less than idol worship as the article suggests. We can all do better. As always thank you for the article.

(37)
Sabus,
December 18, 2013 10:07 PM

Self realization

I think selfie or potraits is not bad if it's not to the detriment of God and humanity. I suppose to realize anything even God one must have self realization. It is said that man is made of Gods image so whichever act or manner of man there's a radiation of God out of him irrespective of another persons perspective. It is quite acknowlodgible that when one realize himself and God, even his worst mistake turns out to be of good example to others. Once more thanks for your article with bunch of God realizing lessons.

Kenan Moss,
December 19, 2013 9:01 PM

self realization and madness

Have you read Bertrand Russell? I think not. Maybe you've heard of Albert Einstein: he thought Russell one of the greatest thinkers that the human race has produced. He received the Nobel Prize "for your contribution in extending our understanding of morality". He said that "no sane philosophy can be based on self reaization".

(36)
Sara,
December 18, 2013 9:55 PM

Not Selfies at all...

I agree with the comments of Travice and JBDestiny, also the South African people was dancing and happy that Nelson Mandela journey was over in this life. What is going on in this world when you can no longer express happiness? How do you know if the three were taking picutres of themselves? They could have been looking at a picture of something else. On Memoral day in America people don't sit around sad and crying they go to the park or have cook-outs at home with family and friends. No we shouldn't be sad or think a person is only being a selfie just because they are taking pictures. I think we should pay attention to the message President Obama gave. Countries follow Mandela and look for better ways to bring us all together, rather than talk about a moment of happiness at a furneral.

(35)
Boca Mom,
December 18, 2013 7:36 PM

great!

Terrific how you took sucha timely topic and connected it so well to the way we should live our lives! Your father's insight is excellent :)

(34)
abey,
December 18, 2013 7:04 PM

Their act appears sweet in the mouth but is bitter in the stomach.

(33)
Marvin Shaw,
December 18, 2013 6:19 PM

Nelson Mandela Memorial

Travice's comments (below) are correct - but his conclusions are wrong. He says that the Memorial was a celebration of Mandela's life. Yes it was. It was not, however the time for narcissistic behaviour by Obama and Cameron - who are incidentally two of the worst leaders of their respective countries for a long time.

(32)
Kenan Moss,
December 18, 2013 2:28 PM

Thank you Rav Blech

Your article brought an unexpected memory into focus: 40 years ago I paid a visit to a one-man exhibition (no offence meant to the feminists). I don't remember the artists name, which I regret, but the powerful intellectual impact remains. Every canvas, though they all varied in colour and composition orbited the word ANI (ME). Was it a premonition of what was to come. I think that this is brilliantly expressed in mathematics by Nash, who is the antithesis of this stupidity.

(31)
Travice,
December 18, 2013 2:23 PM

Nelson Mandela Memorial - not a solemn service.

The Memorial held for Nelson Mandela at the FNB Stadium in Soweto Johannesburg was not at all a solemn service but a celebration of his life. If you saw photos of the crowds you would have seen singing and dancing and brass bands and vuvuzelas and generally a wonderful and jovial atmosphere This was not the funeral. It was held the following Sunday and was very solemn and the decorum was appropriate.

Perel,
December 18, 2013 3:05 PM

Always defending the indefensible

You must be a liberal trying to defend, justify and excuse awful behavior. If everyone was singing and dancing, what about all the other people surrounding Obama and his friends? Look around and see how solemn everyone around them is. Shouldn't they all be smiling and clapping if the atmosphere was jovial?

CJ,
December 18, 2013 11:30 PM

Taking Selfies at a Wake is inappropriate

At a wake, people are celebrating the life of the deceased, not themselves. Therin lies the difference.

(30)
JBDestiny,
December 18, 2013 2:20 PM

Technology is neutral. The same technology that allows the entire family to be included in their vacation photographs, also allows us to make ourselves the central focus of every event. It's our choice, based on our character and values, to use technology either to include or exclude others.

(29)
Kenan Moss,
December 18, 2013 2:12 PM

Post the Spencer woman

I suppose that after the late, and excessively lamented Diana Spencer, nothing should surprise one. But I would have expected better of those who present themselves as political leaders. However I suppose that there are those who do what they do because they are important and those who do what they do in order to be important. The former are facilitators; the latter obstructionists: (the me, my selfie and myself brigade). Look Obama, I know that you had a terrible childhood and probably still suffer the ravages of an identity crisis however, this does not excuse you.

(28)
Morris,
December 18, 2013 1:45 PM

understand not i

Obama received many Jewish votes of support putting him into office of the highest earthly governed position. Yet this selfie is closely connected to the enemy of Israel who says "i against my brother. I, my brother against my cousin. i, my brother, my cousin against our enemy." Understand not i.

(27)
Rachel,
December 18, 2013 12:06 PM

Uncle Stanley in George Washington Slept Here

In the hilarious 1942 movie George Washington Slept Here, Jack Benny's wife's rich and stingy Uncle Stanley (Charles Coburn) is coming for an extended visit. The only gifts he's ever brought to his cash-strapped niece and nephew are more portraits of himself. As he presents to them yet another picture of himself, Jack Benny says, "I know just where to put this!"There have always been narcissistic people. What's new is the technology. King Henry VIII had to commission Hans Holbein to paint his dynastic portraits. Today we all have smart phones.

Lucy,
December 18, 2013 2:37 PM

not me

(26)
Michal,
December 18, 2013 11:52 AM

Excellent article

I had a vague feeling, here it is written clear.Everybody can understand it.Thankyou, Rabbi Blech!

(25)
Anonymous,
December 18, 2013 9:56 AM

SELFIE's

Selfies brings to mind the word Selfish which in the context of words so adapted might also refer to a fishmonger, perhaps even to people of such nature or intent as to create a graven image.

(24)
Simon,
December 18, 2013 8:11 AM

Thank you

Thank you for this article. It opens my eyes.

(23)
Thomas X Popp,
December 18, 2013 6:07 AM

oh, even better! concerning 'at funerals'

It even says You shall not make FOR YOURSELF A GRAVEN image (Dt 5,8) ...

(22)
Thomas X Popp,
December 18, 2013 5:40 AM

Thank you Rabbi Blech

Thanks a lot for this brilliant article with sad content. The two words 'for yourself' in Ex 20,4 resp. in Dt 5,8 are well illustrated. Note that in contrast to other languages in english as well as in french the close connection between the words idol and idolatry remains obvious!

(21)
Anonymous,
December 18, 2013 4:07 AM

Shameful behavior

Imagine taking a selfie at a memorial service honoring someone who cared less about himself and more about the "bigger picture". Outrageous and classless.

(20)
Anonymous,
December 18, 2013 3:53 AM

Moseh Ani

amazing thought! that's a very wise father

(19)
Anonymous,
December 18, 2013 2:55 AM

Amen.

I wonder sometimes if we're just looking at a constant thing with new distribution reach.

A selfie is ultimately a mirror shot. That mirror can inspire people to gaze at it and idolize it. Or gaze at it, decide if that's something they like, and change it if not.

In a society where "mirrors" are proliferating at geometric rates, the persuasive imperative is to turn reflection into self-reflection.

Thoughts on how to gently and respectfully do that would help us all help others.

(18)
rachel,
December 18, 2013 2:06 AM

give the pres a break

The presidential selfie was not taken during the funeral service. If his fellow world leaders wanted a pic with him, i think it was cute and obliging of him to take a selfie with them, rather than summoning a press photographer.

(17)
Itche Meyer,
December 18, 2013 1:20 AM

easy target - but not quite

If the Rabbi is upset that the leaders of our world have a touch of narcissism, it is not news to anyone else; if, on the other hand, he's trying to interpolate from a few world figures spending a light moment some major fault in society, as the dentist says, "It's a bridge too far"

(16)
Aine Fuller,
December 17, 2013 10:37 PM

Thank you

An article worth sharing further. High tIme for reflection in a self-centered world.

(15)
Rebecca Kabat,
December 17, 2013 10:33 PM

Totally incorrect

I'm sorry but there are multiple inaccuracies in this post, some more relevant than others.
For starters, a selfie doesn't have to be take with a smartphone; it can be taken with any digital camera, as I have been doing since I first got one in 2005. They also do not have to be uploaded to social media. A selfie is a photo that one takes with him/herself in it, regardless of whether anyone else sees it.
Secondly, selfies do not have to be only of ones self. I take them all the time of multiple people- I've taken selfies of at least 8 people. There is no reason this is more narcissistic than someone asking another person to take a photo of them w 7 friends. It's a useful talent while on vacation to not have to bother others to take photos of you and your family or friends. You can just take them yourself.
Finally and most importantly you mischaracterized the Obama selfie. The Mandella memorial service was not meant to be a solemn event. It included many singers, dancing, people waving flags, cheering, speeches etc. It was not a funeral but a lively tribute to a great man's life. And the Danish PM asked the president to be in a photo with her. They were in a stadium for a four hour tribute with lots of schmoozing and instead of asking someone else to take the photo she took it herself.
Your point about the selfcenterdness of this generation is correct but it's not fair to use the president's photo with two other world leaders as an example. It's also not a fair comparison to someone taking a photo at Aushwitz or with a suicidal man or a dead grandma in the background.
All that happened is that the president took a photo with two world leaders at an event honoring a man who the president looked up to and was inspired by. And bc the Danish PM was capable of doing it herself, she didn't feel the need to ask anyone else to take the photo for her.

Kenan Moss,
December 18, 2013 12:45 PM

Your verbosity

Rebecca, before you comment, may I suggest that you take a course in remedial English: Copi's "Introduction to Logic " would also not come amiss. Your communication would then be more coherent and and sound less like an offended "selfie taker" trying to justify herself.

Eliyahu K.,
December 18, 2013 5:24 PM

Ouch!

Dear Kenan,

Though these kind of cruel biting attacks between comment makers is the norm on other sites, I think we should not bring this trend onto aish.com, a site dedicated to challenging the norms of our society. You would never make such a comment to a person's face, right? Why is it OK to say it online?

Especially since Rebecca made a number of good critics of the article while agreeing with the overall message.

(14)
gina,
December 17, 2013 10:19 PM

a funeral?

Everyone knows it wasn't the funeral, right? It was the world leaders and people getting together to honor Madiba.But it was NOT the funeral. Were they right? It is a reflection of how our society is behaving now. The new way of "doing things". I wouldn't have. It's too bad we are devolving into such "new etiquette". Then again, I take no selfies no matter what.

(13)
Chava,
December 17, 2013 9:46 PM

the light

G-d created duality. We find there is oneness and ego. G-d's light does not shine through ego. We dim that light with each egocentric act we perform. It is only through oneness that we can bring the light of G-d to the world.

(12)
Kenan Moss,
December 17, 2013 9:19 PM

User friendly world

Thank you for diagnosing the illness of our time. Our anxiousness for lucre has made technology available to the challenged. In the bad old days one needed a brain in order to approach a computer; now all that is needed a set of fingers with acrylic nails. Welcome to the future in which, modeh ani hashem, I will not have to live.

(11)
Mark,
December 17, 2013 9:07 PM

Well stated

I couldn't have said it any better

(10)
Shirie Eshel,
December 17, 2013 9:01 PM

Fantastic. What a great summary of the best of Jewish teachings

Thank you!! We need to be aware of what the essence of our teachings is. I appreciate Rabbil Blech's comments and all he stands for. Often the minority needs to speak the truth so everyone can hear our voice.

(9)
Tom Brennan,
December 17, 2013 8:53 PM

Self-ishness

The internet has not only isolated many from reality, it lets them share that isolation with complete strangers. Torah teaches us that "it is not good for man to be alone". Self indulgence at the expense of others is growing. Put down the phone and study Scripture with others in community.

(8)
Anonymous,
December 17, 2013 8:40 PM

The other Obama related photos from funeral much worse

The selfie was nothing as compared to the incredible series that followed: President Obama in a warm conversation with the Blonde Danish PM as his visibly angry wife boiled next to him - followed by Mrs. Obama trading seats so that she sat between her husband and the PM - followed by President Obama kissing his wife's hand apparently asking for forgiveness.. And all this in the middle of a funeral in full open view....

(7)
tom42,
December 17, 2013 8:35 PM

Nothing new, just more convenient cameras

I have seen so many photos of "me in front of the Grand Canyon", "Me at the Brooklyn Bridge", etc as long as I can remember. The convenience of phone cameras, easily used digital cameras, etc. has merely made the egotism more easy to express and more stealthy to do. It is a lot easier and less obvious to take a photo of one next to a casket today than it would have been 50 years ago, with a large bulky camera and a flash gun.People haven't really changed; the technology has.

(6)
Ilana,
December 17, 2013 7:43 PM

AMEN

Well put!

(5)
Janice,
December 17, 2013 4:23 PM

Triumph of the Id

Last night I saw an ad for an upcoming Survivor program. A tough young woman was glaring into the camera and proudly proclaiming, "This is all about ME!" So sad, so off-putting, so much the new social norm (sigh).

(4)
Leah,
December 17, 2013 3:47 PM

awesome

well crated & well said

(3)
Mack,
December 17, 2013 12:48 PM

Thank you

Thank you. Well and truly said.

(2)
Jay,
December 17, 2013 7:48 AM

Narcissistic society

Once again Rabbi Blech - a timely and insightful article. Thank you and may G-d bless you to keep up your good work.

(1)
Anonymous,
December 17, 2013 3:27 AM

very well said

This article really sums up what today's generation needs to work on. Thank you for getting this message out there. It is a sad reality that this is how the world it, and it is so important for people to realize that this is not the Torah view.

I’ve heard the argument made that Jews should not buy German products, for example Volkswagen cars which used Jewish slave labor during the war. It is wrong for Jews to support German industries?

My cousin says we should just forgive and forget. I would like your thoughts on the subject.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The great rabbi known as the Chazon Ish once said that if a Torah scroll was found burning, and a man used it to light his cigarette, there is no Jewish law that forbids it. Nevertheless, doing so would show a lack of sensitivity. So too, Jewish law does not forbid purchasing a German car.

Regarding the "demand for forgiveness," people often quote the Bible that when one is struck, it is proper to "turn the other cheek" and allow that cheek to be struck as well. But that only appears in the Christian Bible. Jews believe in fighting actively against evil.

Almost all people are inherently good and so we should forgive their lapses. But some people are truly evil – for example, Amalek, the ancient nation which wantonly attacked the Jews leaving Egypt.

Over two millennia ago when Haman (a descendant of Amalek) was commanded by the king to lead his enemy Mordechai through the streets of Shushan, Mordechai was too weak to climb on to the horse. Haman had to stoop to allow Mordechai to use his back as a stepping stool. In the process, Mordechai delivered a vicious kick to Haman which obviously startled him.

Turning to Mordechai in bewilderment, Haman asked: "Does it not say in your Bible, 'Do not rejoice at your enemy's downfall?'" Mordechai responded that indeed it does, but it refers only to people less evil than Haman. So too, we have no reason or allowance to forgive the Nazis and their helpers. Those who scraped the concrete in the gas chambers gasping for air can choose whether to forgive the Germans. We cannot.

In 1977, Egyptian President Anwar Sadat addressed the Knesset in Jerusalem. Sadat was the first Arab leader to officially visit Israel, after receiving an invitation from Menachem Begin. Sadat had orchestrated the Egyptian attack on Israel in the 1973 Yom Kippur War, but after suffering defeat became resigned to the existence of the State of Israel. Much of the Arab world was outraged by Sadat's visit and his change of strategy. One year later, Sadat and Begin signed the Camp David Peace Agreement, for which they received the Nobel Peace Prize. As part of the deal, Israel withdrew from the Sinai peninsula in phases, returning the entire area to Egypt by 1983.

There are many tasks, jobs, and chores that we will end up
doing whether we really enjoy doing them or not. Many hours of our lives are spent this way. The late Rabbi Chaim Friedlander, of Ponevehz Yeshivah, used to say, "If you are going to do it anyway, do it with joy."

Train a young lad according to his method, so that when he grows older he will not deviate from it (Proverbs 22:6).

He shall not deviate from it - the child will not deviate from the method with which he was taught. That method refers to the way we are taught to adapt to life's many hurdles, struggles, and tests.

Education consists of more than just imparting knowledge; it also means training and preparation in how to deal with life. Knowledge is certainly important, but is by no means the sum total of education.

"A person does not properly grasp a Torah principle unless he errs in it" (Gittin 43b). People usually do not really grasp anything unless they first do it wrong. In fact, the hard way is the way to learn. Children learn to walk by stumbling and picking themselves up; young people learn to adjust to life by stumbling and picking themselves up.

Parents and teachers have ample opportunities to serve as role models for their children and students, to demonstrate how to adapt to mistakes and failures. If we show our children and students only our successes, but conceal our failures from them, we deprive them of the most valuable learning opportunities.

We should not allow our egos to interfere with our roles as educators. Parents and teachers fulfill their obligations when they become role models for real life.

Today I shall...

try to share with others, especially with younger people, how I have overcome and survived my mistakes.

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