I think I know the answer to this question already, but I thought I would ask for your opinion. I've been married for about three years, but together for about seven. We are generally happy, but have normal disagreements from time to time. We're both in our late 20s, work full-time, and sometimes both have to travel for work, which I usually don't mind. But in the past, I've wondered what he is doing (and with whom) when he is away. Actually, in the most recent weeks, I've found myself forming a small crush on someone who is part of my work circle. Nothing has happened, and I would never cheat. But, I feel a little guilty and wonder if my husband has felt the same way about someone he's worked with. Should I be concerned about him and/or myself?

Married, but Crushing

Dear Married,

If you have a crush on someone with whom you work, you probably should create some space. 1) You're married, and 2) you probably shouldn't be getting involved with someone you work with. While I do know some happily married couples who met in the work place, it's generally a slippery slope. I'd avoid it. But I digress. You're married. That's the bigger one of the two.

Before I sound like a total prude, let me say that it's natural to think other people are attractive. In fact, I'm sure your husband has thought other women are attractive. That's ok. No biggie. I'll always think Ryan Gosling is hot, and so will you probably. That's totally different than having a crush on someone (real), especially someone with whom you interact with on a daily basis. You should keep your space and/or just keep it totally professional. This might sound like a neurotic thing to say, but when I've treaded dangerous territory in this area, I find multiple reasons I am NOT attracted to the crush and remind myself of these things. The truth is, you probably don't even know this "new" guy that well. What if he has nasty home habits, is needy or insecure, or whatever else?

But perhaps the reason why you might be crushing on someone new is not because HE'S so great, but rather that you're missing something in your current relationship. Could it be that you need to work on your current relationship, and you are looking for a distraction outside your relationship? I bet this new crush has twenty traits you would hate if you didn't have your marriage blinders on. As they say, the grass is always greener...

Maybe you need to refill the marriage box (see picture above). Just something to consider...

xo,Natalise

p.s. Listen to Passenger's "Let Her Go." I think the message here is appreciate and work on what you have... it's a great reminder for all of us.