4 Reasons ‘Living Apart Together’ May Be Better Before Marriage

Before you roll your eyes and think that this is a sermon, just hear us out on this one.

For many couples, according to Psychology Today, moving in together is the next key step to transition the relationship from a dating relationship to a long-term committed partnership. However, there are some rebels out here who still believe in some tradition with a touch of modern style. This lifestyle is referred to as “living apart together” or LAT. These are couples who prefer to maintain separate homes while still being together.

Why would anyone do this…right? Well turns out, it may actually be quite beneficial to relationship to opt-out of cohabitation. Below are four reason why living apart together may actually be better.

1. Enhance the Novelty or Excitement of the Relationship

Living apart, for many couples, is when they remember the excitement of their relationship. It’s almost the same feeling as the beginners love phase of the relationship. The mystery, the dates, the activities and the excitement is usually most prevalent when couples don’t have open-ended access to one another. As time goes on, it can be easy for long-term couples to fall into routine and stop doing fun things together. A separate place of living is sure to preserve this excitement.

2. Avoidance of Artificial Commitment

Artificial commitment is more common than not with many couples. The longer you are together, the more committed you’re expected to be; however often times this commitment may not actually be real. Living together builds barriers to ending the relationship because of how intertwined your lives have become. If you are living together, you may feel stuck, which creates feelings of confusion in deciding to stay with the person because it’s what you actually want or deciding to end the relationship.

3. Relationship/Self Reflection

Self-reflection is an extremely important process in getting to know yourself before you become one with someone else. Often times we learn and grow once a relationship has come to an end, which means that it’s quite possible you didn’t really know who you were outside of that relationship. This is normal; however you should never feel lost while in a relationship. If ever you do, you are always free to do so in the privacy of your living space if you were to opt-out of living together. It’s sometimes a real challenge to see things that are wrong or needs work in the relationship without stepping outside of that space to assess it. Having your own space allows you to reflect on your day, your week or even your year without the distraction of that other person.

4. Continued Self-Growth

Sometimes when couples marry in their early 20s, one person or the other may find that they’ve grown apart from their partners. This is because as we get older, sometimes our interest, personalities and stresses change. Our experiences are what shapes us. If we are not in the best of environments to facilitate the inevitable growth, sometimes we can grow apart from those we truly love. Laying your head down at night on your pillow that one night out of the week could actually make or break your relationship. Sometimes it may be necessary to sleep on it…alone, before making this relationship a permanent one.