A site for me to make my favorite TV Western end the way it should have. Enjoy my scribblings. =)
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The Only Thing To Fear: The Trial Run

I’m sorry I haven’t written as much lately as I should.Things have been real busy at the waystation
lately.Jimmy almost got hung,
Teaspoon’s daughter showed up and turned out not to be his daughter, but she
saved his life and he says she’s his daughter anyway.Confused?Me too, sometimes.

I miss you two so much lately.But, I’m making good money and saving almost every cent.My grubstake is growing daily.By this time next year I should have enough
saved up to start looking for a place for us.Just think.Our own ranch, with a
house and barns full of horses, just like Grandpa McCloud always dreamed of.

I miss you two so much.I can’t
wait to see you again.But, that may not
be for awhile.I keep drawing the runs
West instead of East.Ike promised to
deliver this letter for me.So, be sure
to give him a big hug in thanks.

I love you.

Lou

Lou looked over the letter.It was too short.Yet, it still contained things she wondered
if she should tell her siblings.She
sighed.They’d already seen so much in
their short lives nothing in this letter would come as a surprise.Deciding not to change anything, Lou folded
the single sheet of paper and slipped it into an envelope.

She couldn’t afford the
exorbitant prices the Express charged for delivery.But Ike had promised to carry the letter in
his pocket and deliver it himself.They’d get it faster than any other method of delivery.She rushed out of the bunkhouse and handed
the letter to Ike.

“Thanks,” she smiled up at him.

*You’re welcome,* he signed.*See you in a couple of weeks.*

With that he spurred his horse
toward the East.

“Ride safe!” she yelled after
him.He waved his hat at her in goodbye.

That same night, Teaspoon pulled
Lou aside after supper.

“With Ike off the rotation fer
two weeks, I’m havin’ ta switch up some runs, Lou,” he announced.She nodded her head.She’d known this would be coming. It always
did when someone was gone on a long run.

“So, where’m I goin’?” she asked,
crossing her arms over her chest.

"

I need you to take the run to
Blue Creek tomorrow,” he said apologetically.He knew she hated the Blue Creek station.It was one of the worst on the routes.The stationmaster and riders permanently
based there were rude, crude and uncivilized.The bunkhouse was a mess.But,
this time, Lou was actually relieved to have drawn the run.

“I’ll be ready,” she smiled at
Teaspoon.She was more than ready.With recent events, she’d had to put off her
plan to ‘practice being Louise’.But,
Blue Creek itself was far enough away, she might be able to get away with being
herself for a bit and the station was far enough out of town she wouldn’t have
to worry about anyone there catching her.It was just about perfect.

“Alrighty, then,” Teaspoon said
doubtfully, looking down at Lou with a frown.She ran a hand across her mouth to hide her pleased grin, knowing it was
not the response he’d been expecting.Quickly she’d turned back to the bunkhouse and began preparing for bed.

As she lay on her bunk listening
to the others move around the room, her mind cast back over the last few
weeks.There had been times she’d
thought their family was being torn apart and it had nearly ripped her heart
out.Thankfully things had worked
out.But it had been hard going for
awhile.First, there’d been that time
Jimmy’d ‘quit’, or so they’d all thought.

It had taken everything she had to work up the nerve to walk into
Grace’s place.It reminder her too much
of things she’d rather stayed forgotten.It was even worse than the Silver Spurs had been.But, this was where Jimmy was, and she’d been
even more determined to bring Jimmy home than she’d wanted to stay away from
that cathouse.

S

he’d walked in diffidently, but as soon as her eyes had met Jimmy’s,
she’d stopped in place, crossing her arms over her chest in challenge.He’d the floor to greet her.

“Hello, Lou.”

She’d given him the once over, checking out the new outfit he’d been
wearing.Jimmy had looked particularly
comfortable in the fine, three piece suit.

“Fancy duds,” she’d said.

“Ah, thank you,” Jimmy had said, unfailingly polite.Then, he went for the throat.“Ain’t you out past yer bedtime?”

Lou swallowed her rising anger, determined to be the peacemaker, not a
role that came naturally to her.“When
you walked out last night, you stepped on a few toes.”

He’d chuckled.“And you came all
the way over here just to tell me that?”

She’d uncrossed her arms, sticking her thumbs in her pants’ pockets
like Cody’d taught he and sighed.“I
came ta… ask ya ta think about what yer doin’.It may not be too late.”

“And I suppose Teaspoon feels the same as you?”Jimmy’d stumbled over Teaspoon’s name,
telling Lou, or so she’d thought, just how important her answer had been to
him.Since she’d snuck out when Teaspoon
wasn’t looking, she could only shrug in answer.Jimmy’d never lost the mocking smile he’d pasted on his lips.“I didn’t think so.”

“If we all talk to him, he’ll change his mind,” she’d insisted.

Jimmy’d just shaken his head.“No, I’m done talkin’.”

“You don’t belong here!”

“Lou, I don’t belong anywhere!”The words had been like an arrow straight to Lou’s heart.“This is as good a place as any and it does
have some advantages,” he’d almost leered at her.

“Jimmy,” she’d practically begged, “please come back.”

He hadn’t listened to her pleas,
though he’d made sure she got out of there safely.Later, she, along with the rest of the
riders, had learned it had all been a con job. Jimmy’d been working undercover for the
Army.Lou’d about torn his head off when
she found out.Though, once she calmed
down, she’d understood why he’d done it.As he’d said, their reactions needed to be real and none of them was
that good of an actor, except maybe the Kid or Cody.

Then came the time Kid had landed
himself in prison, doing hard time.He
and Cody had been gone on one of those long distance runs.The minute Cody had ridden in without the
Kid, Lou’d had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.Something was wrong.She’d tried telling herself she was just
being a pessimist, until Cody’d told them all about how Kid had landed himself
in the hoosegow.

And when they’d started learning
other stories coming out of the same town, she’d known there was real
trouble.The others had no longer needed
her urging to ride to the rescue.Even
Sam was sounding worried.And after he’d
checked in at Fort Laramie.. well, the whole game had changed, for the worse.

“What did ya find out, Sam?” she’d asked.

Sam had walked up to the fire and squatted down.With a sigh, he’d admitted, “Nothin’
definite.”But there’d been a whole lot
of indefinite that had added up to a major problem.As the details had started piling up, Lou’d
about lost it.She’d wanted to
scream.Not again.Couldn’t the Kid stay out of trouble for one
run?

But, she’d found it oddly charming how the others had tried so hard to
comfort her, without letting Sam in on her secret.

“Don’t worry, Lou,” Cody had reassured her.“Kid can take care of himself.”

“Yeah,” was all the response she’d been able to muster.They’d all closed ranks, keeping her
surrounded at all times, never leaving her alone.Their presence had been a comfort when they’d
all reached Prosperity, especially after the Sheriff had lied to them about Kid
having left town already.

When they’d ambushed the prison guards herding the inmates back toward
the barracks, it had been all Lou could do to keep her itchy trigger finger
from letting the bullets fly.She’d wanted
to bury one in the heart of each of those men for every bruise she saw on Kid’s
face.She’d been so furious it had taken
a few jokes from Kid and another prisoner for her to get herself under control.Finally, she said, “You look awful, Kid.”

When they’d headed back into town to confront the outlaws who’d put Kid
behind bars, Lou’d stayed close to his side, her finger constantly on the
trigger of her gun.She knew Kid could take
care of himself, but somehow felt he wasn’t safe unless she was there to back
him up.

Lou chuckled quietly to
herself.On the way back, they’d thought
they’d managed to slip away for a few minutes of privacy.She’d been trying to clean Kid’s wounds down
by the creek, and evading his hands with a laugh when Sam had walked in on
them.

“Lou?Kid?” he’d blurted,
shocked.They’d turned to face him,
guilty looks on both their faces.Kid
jerked his hand away from Lou’s waist, where he’d settled it, trying to reel
her in for a kiss.“What is goin’ on
here?”

“Uh, nothin’,” Lou’d muttered, turning away and starting to pack away
the medicine kit she had laid out on the ground at Kid’s feet.

“Nothin’ that woulda tol’ him the one thing I didn’t want him ta know,”
she continued without pause.

“A girl?” Sam had muttered to himself, bemused, as he watched Lou and
Kid go at it.“That sure explains a
lot.”

"He saw you grabbin’ at me,” she’d rolled right over Sam again.“The worst he was gonna think is the same as
those yahoo’s at the other station and the ladies of the night at the Silver
Spurs.I coulda lived with that.Now, I’m gonna lose my job.”

In the long run Sam had agreed
not to tell.He’d agreed with the boys
that she’d proven she could do the job.In fact, he’d admitted, she’d been in less trouble then certain of her
brothers, to remain unnamed, over the last few months.Most of the time she’d helped mop up after
them.

Lou grinned at the memories.Yes, things were going well.It was definitely time to let Louise out to
play for a bit.Rolling over, she pulled
her blanket up over her head to block out the noise of the others.She needed her sleep.She had a long ride in the morning.

**********

Leaning low over her horse, Lou
smiled into the wind.She’d been on the
road since before dawn, but her day’s work was almost over.She could see the Blue Creek home station
just rising over the horizon.Soon, she
was pounding into the yard, holding out the mochila to the next rider.

“Vin!” she yelled.“Come on!Hah!”

And with that, the run was
over.She pulled her mount to a stop.

“Tough ride, eh,” smiled old One
Eye, grabbing her horse’s bridle so she could dismount.

“Had worse,” she said, swinging
her right leg over the saddle horn and sliding off the side of her horse.

She nodded.After the long ride, she was exhausted.She’d get a night’s sleep here, then head
into town tomorrow.The schedule didn’t
have her returning to Sweetwater for two more days.

“Thanks,” she said, turning and
heading to the bunkhouse.Moving up to
the entrance, she reached out and pulled the door open.As it swung inward with a loud creak, Lou
paused in the doorway.Was that Carl’s
voice she heard?Ah, crap.It was.He was one of the worst of the lot at the Blue Creek home station.

Carl was sitting at the table
playing cards with Wade, in their longjohns.Swinging her gaze across the room, she noted Hank sitting the tub,
surrounded by steam.Her eyes came to a
sudden stop as they stumbled on the mangy old dogs snoozing in the bunk that
she’d be expected to sleep in.She
physically pulled back from the sight.This station was always bad, but this was the worst she’d ever seen it.

“Come on in,” Wade said.“Game’s hot.”

She narrowed her eyes,
contemplating her options.Just as she
was about ready to give in and chase the dogs off ‘her’ bunk so she could get
some sleep, Hank added, “So’s the water.”

She swung her gaze over to the
tub even as Hank stood up.That’s when
she realized, though he’d still had his hat on, he’d been sitting in the tub
without his longjohns.He was
completely, totally, naked!

“Looks like you could use it!” he
added, rising to his full height.

She lowered her gaze to the
floor, wiping a hand across her face, trying to wipe the sight from her memory
at the same time.

“Uh, um, no.I don’t think so,” she said, having suddenly
found the energy to move on to Blue Creek that afternoon.“Thanks anyway,” she added, pulling the door
closed behind her as she took off for the barn again.

“I’ll buy ya an extra ration of
oats,” she promised her horse as she led it back out to the yard.She could feel old One Eye’s perplexed gaze
following her.“And I can promise ya,
the livery’ll be more comfortable than this place anyway.”

With those muttered comments, Lou
was mounted up again and on her way to Blue Creek.It took her another two hours on horseback to
get there.

As she rode into town, she let
her gaze roam across the buildings of Main Street.There was what looked like a nice hotel at
the end of the street.Blue Creek also
boasted a haberdashery, general store and newspaper along one side of the
street, as well as a grain and feed store, the livery and a milliner’s on the
other side.There was even a nice restaurant
next to the milliner’s.Suddenly, her
eyes caught on the window display in the dressmaker’s store.It was a pink dress trimmed with some sort of
pretty lace.It had been years since
Lou’d seen such a fine dress.She
glanced down at her dust covered clothes for a moment, then shrugged.She’d just pretend she was buying the dress
for a friend.If it needed any altering
she’d have to do it herself tonight.

************

Lou sighed as she stepped out of
the bathtub.It had been such a luxury
to just lie back and enjoy the hot water.And this tub had been big enough she could really lie back.She knew she had it good compared to the boys
in Emma’s little cowboy tub, but still, it was nice to be able to stretch out
for a change.And, oh!, the ability to
just lie there, soaking up the heat from the water until her fingers turned
into raisins!What heaven that had
been.Even when she got first turn at
the tub, she was always rushing, trying to get done before Emma came along to
hurry her up.

Shivering slightly, she hurried
over to grab the towels she’d laid out in front of the fire to warm up.Wrapping herself in the big, slightly
scratchy, pieces of cloth, Lou smiled as she looked at the dress package sitting
on the end of the bed.She hadn’t unpacked
it yet for fear of dirtying it.

Now, she moved over and began
tearing into the brown paper packaging, like a child opening a present from
Santa on Christmas morning.She
reverently picked up the dress by the shoulders and shook it out.Holding it in front of her she just stared at
it for a moment.Then, with a sigh and a
grin, she laid it down and began to vigorously rub herself dry.

A half hour later, she stood in
front of the small mirror over the dresser, fiddling with her hair.Finally, she gave up with a huge sigh.It was simply too short to do anything
with.Maybe she should let it grow out,
just a bit.Just enough that she could
tuck it up under a hat, to make it look like an updo.With a shrug at her image in the mirror, Lou
set the thought aside to examine later.Grabbing her hat, she jammed it on her head and reached for the door
handle.

Odd.Her hand was shaking like it was about to fly
off her wrist.Suddenly, nerves tangled
up her stomach so much it felt like it was turning inside out on her.She turned a longing look back at the boys
clothes she’d washed out in the tub and hung over the chair next to the hearth
to dry.It wasn’t too late.She could still take the dress off, pack it
back up and keep her disguise.

"Oh, screw your courage to the
sticking point, Louise,” she muttered to herself.With a great effort of will, she reached out
again and grabbed the door handle, turning it with all her strength.She turned the knob so hard she practically
ripped the door off its hinges.Giggling
slightly hysterically, she gently closed it and locked it behind her.Tripping down the back stairs, she took the
rear exit from the hotel to avoid being seen by the clerk.He’d seemed a little odd when she’d checked
in and she didn’t want to take any risks.

Soon, she found herself walking
around the corner of the hotel and down the main street of Blue Creek.

“Howdy, Ma’am,” one man said,
tipping his hat to her.Startled, she
began to back away, then realized he was just being polite and mentally
chastised herself.Giving him a slight,
regal nod, she continued on her way, a grin playing with the edges of her
mouth.This was fun.

She really enjoyed the polite
attention of the men as she moved down the street toward the restaurant. Stepping up onto the boardwalk, she stopped in
front of a large display window and looked at herself curiously, trying to
figure out what it was that others saw so differently when she was dressed this
way.She was so busy examining the image
of herself in a dress she never noticed the man walking up behind her, dressed
in a dapper suit and fine evening hat, not until he addressed her.

“Excuse me,” he smiled at her in
the window.“But I believe it would be
much more flattering if the hat was tilted slightly to the left.”

“You do?” she asked, feeling a
bit confused as to why this total stranger might be speaking to her so
familiarly.But, as she thought about
it, she decided he probably had more experience looking at ladies and how they
dressed then she did.So, she reached up
and tried to adjust the hat, as he’d suggested.

Considering her appearance, she
relaxed slightly.“That is better.”

“Better,” he said consideringly,
“but not quite.May I?”

He paused, waiting for her
permission.She thought about it for a
moment, even turning to look him in the face, before agreeing.She didn’t really like the idea of a strange
man touching her, even if it was just her hat.But, he’d already proven he knew more about these things then she
did.Finally, she said timidly,
“Alright.”

“Now hold still now,” he
warned.“Yeah.”He muttered something she didn’t quite catch
as he fiddled with the hat.Finally, he
was satisfied and pulled back.“I think
that does it.”

She opened her mouth to respond,
then forced herself to slow down and think about her answer.Half laughing at herself, she said, “Louise.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Louise,”
he smiled at her, not commenting on the fact she’d withheld her last name from
him.“You’re just the person who might
be able to provide the answer to a very difficult question,” he continued,
almost coyly.

Lou had to hold back a full
throated laugh at his antics.This guy
was worse than Jimmy with his flirting.At least Jimmy didn’t expect anyone to take him seriously!“What?”

“Is being saved from social
embarrassment sufficient cause for a young lady to dine with a gentleman who
finds her… most attractive?”

It was his accent, she
decided.His accent is what allowed him
to get away with talking like this.She
looked at him a long time before answering his not quite question.This wasn’t what she’d had planned.But, maybe she could practice being a lady
with him so she could surprise Kid on their next dual run.Finally, she nodded a hesitant yes.

His entire face lit up with
appreciation.

“That’s more like it,” he said
suavely.Reaching out he took her hand
in his.“May I?” he belatedly asked, as
he tucked her hand into his elbow and began leading her down the boardwalk
toward the restaurant.

She initially stiffened at the
uninvited contact, although he didn’t seem to notice.He immediately started talking about himself,
not really requiring much in the way of a response from her.This suited Lou just fine as it allowed her
to relax and concentrate on her steps.She had to be careful not to swagger along like one of the boys.Even worse, she had to be careful not to trip
over her own skirts!She’d noticed that
last month, when she’d bought the dress to visit Teresa and Jeremiah.She’d spent so much time in pants and walking
like a man she didn’t know how to maneuver a skirt and petticoats anymore.This dress was actually a bit too short, but
she’d decided to leave it that way instead of letting out the generous
hem.It made not tripping over her own
feet a little bit easier.

“Louise?”

“Hmm?” she asked, startled back
to the world around her.“I’m sorry,”
she smiled up at, what was his name again?Oh yeah, DeWitt, Tyler DeWitt.“I
guess I was woolgathering.”

“I hope I haven’t been that
boring,” he smiled at her.“I know
business really isn’t what a young lady like yourself wishes to discuss on a
fine evening such as this.”

“No, it’s fascinating, really,”
she smiled up at him, trying to make up for her lack of attentiveness
earlier.“I’ve just had a really long
day, is all.”

DeWitt pushed open the door to
the restaurant and led her inside.“Well, hopefully a good meal will put you straight to rights,” he
commented.

Inside, he led her straight to
the finest table near the window.It was
obvious from his manner, and the staff’s, that he was a regular here and
expected preferential treatment.Lou
felt a bit like a princess, parading along on his arm.It was... nice, she decided.She’d never felt so pampered before.Although it did grate on her when he insisted
on ordering for her.

“I don’t know as I should really
try this champagne stuff,” she said timidly, after the server had filled her
glass and left.

“Oh, it’s all the rage back
East,” he assured her.“You’ll love it.”

She looked at him skeptically,
but chose not to say anything.Digging
in his pocket, he took out a card and handed it to her.Looking down, she saw it said, Tyler DeWitt,
Insurance Agent, Mutual Assurance Company, Chicago, IL.

“What’s insurance?” she said,
slowly sounding out the unfamiliar word.

He huffed a half laugh.“Well, it’s funny.Right now it doesn’t seem too
important.”At her slightly annoyed
glance, he changed his mind and decided to try and explain.“Let’s see. Basically, insurance helps people
pursue their dreams by reducing financial risk in the event of unforeseen
circumstances.”

Lou could tell he was feeding her
the practiced spiel of an experienced salesman.Luckily, she wasn’t buying.She
asked, skeptically, “How’s it do all that?”

“Even if I could explain, I don’t
think I care to,” he said, changing the topic, “at the moment.More champagne?”

“No, thank you,” she said, wondering
when she’d drunk the first glass.The
last thing she needed was more alcohol in her system.

“Actually, it’s not as boring as
it sounds,” he continued.“My company
also insures some very valuable shipments. Gold.Weapons.Army payrolls.Things like that.”

Lou smiled as she thought maybe
this fellow’s job will take some of the heat off us riders.They were constantly having problems because
of those kinds of shipments.She gazed
at DeWitt, wondering what he was really like, underneath his suave exterior, as
he continued to babble on about insurance, bragging about his power.

“In fact, I’m one of only a
handful of people with access to the shipping schedules,” he smiled at her,
then started to laugh.“There I go
again, braggin’.”

She laughed with him.He’d definitely been doing that, but if he
could laugh at his own foibles, he couldn’t be that bad, she figured.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized.

“It’s alright,” she assured
him.Looking down at the napkin in her
lap, she smiled slightly.His need to
talk about himself meant she didn’t have to say much about herself, and, to
tell the truth, she did find this insurance business sort of interesting.“I like it.”

“Well, I just get sick and tired
of hearing myself talk,” he said.She
smiled up at him, to encourage him to do just that.But, then he continued, “That’s enough about
me.What about you?”

She looked down again, fighting
this time to keep the smile on her face.Damn it! she thought.What should
she tell him?

“What about me?” she asked back,
bargaining for more time to figure this out.Lou, you should’ve had something
planned, she berated herself.

“You are evasive.”She looked down at the now empty champagne
glass in her hand and smiled.Yep.Evasive as hell, that was her.

“Let’s try another tack,” he
said, undaunted.“Why would a beautiful
young woman, traveling alone, check into a hotel in an out of the way place
like this.”

Lou stiffened internally.The words ‘traveling alone’ had her nose for
danger twitching.Best he not continue
to think that.Off the cuff, she said,
“Who said I was alone?”

“Ah hah!So, have I to be on the lookout for an
insanely jealous husband or fiancé?”

“Nope,” she dragged the word out
to keep from laughing.The idea of her
with a husband or fiancé was, well, laughable for the moment.“I’m traveling with my mother.We have family in Sweetwater.”

Dang it, Louise! she chastised herself.You
shouldn’t have said that.

“I see.Well, I hope she’s not expecting you back too
soon.”

Distracted from her thoughts, Lou
asked, “Who?”

“Your mother?”

“Oh!Ah, she’s probably asleep by now,” Lou said,
trying to laugh away the gaff she’d just made.“We had a long day.”That last part was certainly the truth,
Lou thought.Apparently too long, the
way she was messing everything up tonight.

“Good,” he smiled at her.He lifted the champagne bottle to pour her
some more.

“No,” she started to protest, but
he didn’t stop.

“You see, there’s something you
should learn about a man in my line of business,” he said as he poured more of
the sparkling wine into her glass.“We
never take no for an answer.”

Something about the way he said
that sent shivers down Lou’s spine.Then
he smiled at her and she relaxed again.She was just imagining things.

“Guess one more cain’t hurt,” she
admitted, taking the once again full glass from him.

“That’s the spirit,” he said,
raising his glass at the same time.Cautiously, she clinked her glass against his, like she’d seen her Ma
and Pa do a long time ago, at a fancy party.

“No, no,” he said.“Not like that.”He twisted his arm through hers before
bringing the glass to his lips.“Like
this.”

Tentatively, she leaned forward
to drink, not liking how close it brought her to him.But the champagne itself was delicious.“Um.”

“How do you like it?”

“It tickles my nose,” she
laughed.

While she enjoyed the attention
Mr. DeWitt, Tyler as he’d insisted she call him, lavished on her, the longer
the evening dragged on, the worse the feeling in her belly got.She wasn’t sure why.She wasn’t doing anything wrong.Was she?

It was almost a relief when
dinner was over and she could leave.She
didn’t wait for DeWitt as he paid the bill, instead heading straight out the
restaurant door and down the street toward the hotel.

“Wait up, Louise,” he called
after her.“I was hoping you might allow
me to escort you on a promenade.”

“I’ve gotta go,” she said,
continuing down the street.

“Why?Why?” he practically begged, half jogging to
keep up with her hurried pace.

“It’s late and I, … we’re leavin’
early in the mornin’,” she improvised. Dang
it!Nearly forgot that fictional mother,
again.She was definitely going to
stay away from that champagne stuff from now on.Too risky!

“I want to see you again,” DeWitt
pleaded.

“I wish I could,” she said. It
wasn’t a lie.She had enjoyed her time
with him, at least when she hadn’t been thinking about how Kid would feel if he
saw her there.“But, I… I cain’t.”

“Of course you can,” he insisted.

“No.Really, you don’t understand,” she insisted,
wrapping her arms around her waist, trying to keep all the ugly feelings inside
from bubbling over.

“Try me.”

“I’m sorry,” was all she could
offer.“I’ve gotta go.Really--”

He grabbed her by the arms and
forcefully turned her to face him, then swooped in to claim her lips with
his.Her blood, already racing through
her veins, suddenly accelerated.It felt
like every last drop left her head in the moment he kissed her. It felt…
exhilarating... and awful, all at the same time.Even as she enjoyed the kiss, she kept her
hands between them, as if to keep him from getting too close to her.

He raised his head, calmed down a
bit from his earlier angst.

“I.. I couldn’t help myself,” he
said, apologetically.The implication
that she was too beautiful for him to resist did, partially, sooth her ruffled
feathers.But it wasn’t enough.She was too sick, sick at her own actions and
reactions.

Pulling back from him, she said
an anguished, “Good night!” and fled.She could hear him calling after her, but this time she was moving too
quickly for him to catch up.As she
turned the corner toward the back door of the hotel, she wiped her hand across
her mouth, trying to wipe away the feel of his kiss with the movement.

“She’ll never be anythin’ but some man’s whore, the way you let her run
around, wearing those dirty ol’ boy’s clothes.”

“No one’ll want you once I’m done with you.I’ll break you in, real good.Then all you’ll be good for is joining my
girls.”

“How will she ever learn to be a lady if she never practices?”

“You’re good, Louise.You were made
to be a lady, a Lady of the Night.”

Voices from her past swirled
through her head as she raced up the stairs and into her room.She slammed the door behind her, trying to
lock out her own thoughts along with the rest of the world.He’d excited her.He’d scared her.His insistence on seeing her again worried
her.How had her beautiful night on the
town gone so wrong?

By the next morning, she had
calmed down.She knew she’d overreacted
to the whole situation.She’d done
nothing wrong, she kept repeating to herself.She’d done nothing any well brought up young lady might have done.She’d had a nice dinner with a
gentleman.So, he’d stolen a kiss.That wasn’t anything Kid hadn’t done a dozen
times by now.It didn’t have to mean
anything.

Determined to enjoy her day, Lou
ventured out again.But, though, she
showed a calm demeanor to the rest of the world, she jumped every time a pair
of male footsteps neared her.After
spending quite a bit of time perusing the wares at the milliners and the
dressmakers, she decided to stop off at the general store before heading back
to the hotel.She needed to head out
early in the morning if she was going to make it back to the home station in
time to catch the mochila.

The general store didn’t have
much that Thompkins didn’t have back in Sweetwater.But it was nice to be able to freely peruse
the women’s accessories and knick knacks.Walking around, she found herself staring into a display case full of rings.One in particular caught her eye.It wasn’t anything fancy, just a small ring
with a simple stone in it.But it spoke
to her.

Staring at it, she could just
imagine walking down the aisle of a
beautifully decorated church, Jimmy at her side.She’d be wearing a fabulous white satin gown,
her hair pulled back with a crown of little white flowers.

“Are
you sure?” he’d ask, for the thousandth time.She’d smile up at him brilliantly and nod her yes.

Slowly,
they’d make their way to the front of the church, where her beloved stood,
waiting for her.Jimmy would put her
hand in her beloved’s and step away.She
could almost hear the words of the service being spoken around them, as she
stared down at her hand clasped in his.

Then,
he’d reach out and slowly slip the ring onto her finger.

“With
this ring, I thee wed,” he’d say quietly, in a voice full of the emotions he
was feeling at that moment.

With a sigh, Lou made an instant
decision.Before she could change her
mind, she turned to the storekeep and asked, “How much for this ring?”

Minutes later, she was walking
out of the store with the ring in a little, red velvet bag clasped tightly in
her hand.She didn’t know what she was
going to do with it or why she’d bought it.She just knew she had to have it.

***********

Riding hellbent for leather, Lou
barely made it back in time for the handoff.Pulling into the station yard, she saw Ol’ One Eye standing with her
saddled mount.Wade was nearby, suited
up and ready to ride.

“Thought ya wasn’t gonna make
it,” One Eye said, half accusingly.

“I tol’ ya I’d be back,” she
insisted as she transferred her bedroll to the fresh horse.“Just had a few errands ta run in Blue Creek,
that’s all.”

Even as she was climbing into the
saddle, she could hear the incoming rider pounding down the trail.Pulling her horse away so she could get a
running start, she looked back when One Eye said, “Well, tell Teaspoon I said
‘howdy’ when ya get there.”

She nodded even as she bent low
over her horse’s neck and took off.Grabbing the mochila out of the air, she settled it over the pommel of
her saddle and urged her mount onto the trail.It was going to be another long day in the saddle, she thought.But, it had been worth it.She’d discovered she could be a lady. For a night, at least.

***********

“Come on, Lightning,” she urged,
all thoughts of her stolen night on the town disappearing as she turned her
horse toward Sweetwater.She was
worried.They’d said the injured man
wasn’t hurt too bad, but he hadn’t looked very good to her.She spurred him on to an even faster
lope.“Let’s go!”

Galloping into town, she pulled
Lightning straight up to the Marshal’s office.She leapt off the saddle directly onto the boardwalk, not bothering to
hitch Lightning up in her hurry.Landing
on both feet she ran straight into the office, and straight into Sam.

“Sam, you gotta come quick!”

“Lou,” Sam said, grabbing her
shoulders.“Calm down, Lou.”

She paused to gulp down a quick
breath.

“Now, tell me what’s wrong?”

“A freight wagon.Ambushed.Out by Bitter Springs, just east of town.The guard’s been shot.I don’t know how bad.”

“Alright,” Sam nodded, already
grabbing his hat and heading out the door.“Barnett!Get saddled up!”Turning back to Lou, he asked, “You on a run?”

She nodded, continuing to gulp in
big breaths of air.

“Then ya better get on out ta
Emma’s, they’ll be waitin’ fer ya.I’ll
take care of this mess.”

She nodded again and followed him
out of the jail, quickly remounting Lightning.Without a backward glance she headed in the opposite direction as Sam
and Barnett, toward Emma’s place.

It took her only a few minutes to
cross the distance at a flat out gallop, trying to make up for the time she’d
lost in her side trip into town.She
came roaring into the station at top speed and almost missed Ike as she tossed the
mochila to him.

She slowed Lightning to a stop
and wearily slid out of the saddle to the ground.Her shoulders slumped in exhaustion.It had been a long and tiring trip, not to mention
emotionally draining.Looking up, she
saw Teaspoon walking toward her, closely followed by Cody, Buck, Jimmy… and the
Kid.She almost sighed out loud.He was the last person she wanted to see
right now.

“What happened Lou?Fell asleep in the saddle?” Cody asked.

“Freightwagon was held up near
Bitter Springs.The guard was shot.I rode inta town ta tell the Marshal,” Lou
shrugged, even as she quickly began pulling her extra large bedroll from behind
the saddle.It was all in a day’s work
as far as she was concerned.

Teaspoon nodded approvingly. “Ya done good.Go get washed up.”

Cody took Lightning’s reins and
offered with a smile, “I’ll get yer horse.”

“Thanks.” Lou nodded
appreciatively, even as she turned toward the bunkhouse.She wanted to get her new dress hidden before
anyone started asking questions.It was
obvious her bedroll contained more than it normally did.Casting a cautious look over her shoulder,
she hurried up the steps to the bunkhouse porch and through the door, closing
it carefully behind her.

Certain she was alone, Lou laid
the bedroll on the table and began to unroll it, maintaining her hurried
pace.But that pace slowed some, as she
reached out to pick up the dress almost reverently.Holding it out in front of her, she shook it open.It sure was a pretty dress.The prettiest she’d owned since she’d been on
her own, since she’d fled her Pa to tell the truth.And she’d sure had a good time in it.

Tossing it over her shoulder, she
reached out to grab the hat, with the purse she’d stuffed inside.She moved over to her bunk and began
unceremoniously stuffing the lot under the pallet on her bunk.She’d have to find a better hiding place than
this, she thought to herself, but it would do for now.In her preoccupation, she never noticed the
sound of the bunkhouse door opening and closing behind her.

“What’s that?”

Lou nearly jumped out of her skin
at the sound of Kid’s voice right behind her.Dang it!She really didn’t want
to explain things to him.She didn’t want
to hurt him, she already felt guilty for stepping out on him with another man,
and she didn’t want to ruin her memories of her night on the town.

“Nothin’,” she said sullenly,
trying to finish hiding the dress.

Kid moved closer to her.

“Come on.What are ya hidin’?” he persisted.

“I’m not hidin’ nothin’.”Kid smiled slightly and reached out to touch
the last corner of the dress sticking out from under her pallet.Annoyed that he wouldn’t take a hint and
leave things be, Lou slapped his hand away.“That’s none of yer business.”

She squelched a grimace at the
defensive, almost scared, note that had entered her voice. Kid looked at her confused.“I just wanna see what ya got.It looks pretty.”

Lou did sigh this time.He wasn’t going to let her get away with
it.Turning back to her bunk, she pulled
the dress out.“It’s a dress. Alright?”

Her tone had sharpened
unintentionally, even as she was mentally begging him, Don’t ask anymore questions.Please!

“Looks nice,” Kid said, reaching
out to touch the lace trim.Lou jerked
the dress away from him.This dress
wasn’t about the Kid.Hadn’t been even
before she’d met DeWitt.After that
evening, it never would be.Kid didn’t
seem to notice her defensiveness.With a
slightly wistful smile, he asked, “Why’d ya buy it?”

Lou couldn’t meet his eyes.How could she tell him she’d bought it to
practice being a lady for him, and then spent the evening with another man? “I felt like it,” she nearly spat.Turning, finally to face him, she asked, almost
accusingly, “Somethin’ wrong with that?”

Kid shook his head.“No.I
just thought there might be a reason.”

“I’m a girl, Kid. That’s reason
enough.”Her tone practically dripped
with sarcasm.Things were definitely
going from bad to worse.She could tell
even Kid was starting to get a little uncomfortable, as he looked at her.She could barely breath, the air was so heavy
with tension.

Kid smiled at her as she returned
the dress to its hiding place, trying to ease whatever was the problem.

Lou turned to face the Kid again
and crossed her arms over her chest, as if trying to hold in her heart, that
was trying to leap out and strangle her with her own guilt.

“Did ya get it in Blue Creek?”

Lou covered her face with one
hand and sighed in exasperation.Sometimes, the Kid was like a dog with a bone, just gnawing at it until
there was nothing left.

“You alright, Lou?” he asked,
concerned.She could tell by the look on
his face he knew something was wrong.She just wished she could tell him what it was.After that whole affair with Boggs she’d
promised herself to be more open with the others, share things, problems, with
them.But she just couldn’t share this
one, not with the Kid.

“Fine,” she eventually spat out.

“You coulda fooled me.”His tone had hardened.He was losing his patience.Lou could feel her shoulders tensing.She’d learned to stand up to the boys, but
she still didn’t like it when one of them was angry at her.That’s why she so often tended to attack
first, herself.

“I just don’t like people askin’
a lot of questions and pokin’ in my business.Understand?”

She could tell Kid was giving
up.The look on his face told her she’d
hurt him, the last thing she’d wanted to do, what she’d been avoiding doing all
along.

“Sorry,” he muttered, turning
around and walking away from her.Lou
couldn’t keep the guilt off her face any longer as she watched him leave.She wondered if she’d pushed him away for
good this time.Had her night on the
town been worth all this?

After a moment, she shook herself
out of her stupor.There was nothing she
could do about any of it right now.And,
if she didn’t hurry, Cody’s implicit offer of guarding her back while she
cleaned up would be null and void.Hurrying, again, she grabbed her soap and a towel and headed for the
shower Teaspoon had set up on the other side of the bunkhouse, now that the
weather was warming up.

As she skidded around the corner of
the bunkhouse porch, she found Jimmy sitting there instead of Cody.

“Thought Cody was keepin’ guard,”
she asked.

“He was.I took over for him,” Jimmy muttered,
pressing a leather pouch to his cheek.A
closer look and Lou realized his cheek was swollen.

“That looks pretty bad there,
Jimmy,” she commented, moving on toward the shower.“You oughta go see that new tooth doctor in
town.What did Teaspoon call him?”

She could hear Jimmy standing up
to take the guard’s position, leaning against the porch post, back to the
shower, looking out over the station yard for any sign of Teaspoon or Emma.

“Dentist,” he muttered so softly
she could barely hear him.

Tossing her dirty britches, shirt
and longjohns over the side of the stall, Lou pulled the rope and shivered in
delight as the sun warmed water poured down over her.It took her only a few minutes to get cleaned
up.Soon, she was toweling herself dry
and reaching for the clean clothes she’d brought with her.

Stepping out of the shower stall,
still rubbing her hair dry, she walked up and stood next to Jimmy.

“So?” she prodded.“Why don’t ya?”

Jimmy just shrugged, then started
to move away.

“Don’t wanna,” was all he would
say, as he headed over to help Emma bring the last of the food to the bunkhouse
for lunch.

Pushing past him, Lou couldn’t
resist the impulse to tease him.

“I can’t believe it.Jimmy Hickok, afraid of the tooth doctor,”
she marveled, holding the door open for both Jimmy and Emma.For the moment, she’d forgotten

**********

Lou sat in the buckboard,
fuming.She couldn’t believe it when
Teaspoon had told her she had to go into town with the rest of the boys.She’d been looking forward to spending some
time working with the new ponies, training them to accept the saddle.Then, to make matters worse, she’d had to
ride in the buckboard with Teaspoon, like some helpless ninny, just because
Lightning had to go and throw a shoe just as they were about to leave.Why did life have to gang up on her right
now.It had been all she could do to
smooth things over with Kid after that incident with the dress.She leaned back on the seat, crossing her
arms over her chest, angry with the world.

When Teaspoon began pulling back
on the reins to slow the horses, Lou didn’t wait for the buckboard to cone to a
stop before jumping out.The sooner this
trip was over with, the better.

“You boys help me load up here
and then you can go about yer business,” Teaspoon said, seeming to assume Lou
had some sort of business in town.Hmph, she grumped to herself as she
followed Teaspoon toward Jimmy, Buck and Kid, who’d just finished tying their
horses to the hitching post.But,
Teaspoon wasn’t done.“Jimmy, I’d keep
sniffin’ that pouch there, or else you’ll end up in Doctor Lucket’s chair over
there.”

This improved Lou’s mood.Along with the rest of them, she’d enjoyed
ribbing Jimmy good over his quite evident fear of the dentist.

Buck leaned over Jimmy’s shoulder
to taunt him in a velvety voice, “The chair’s a good idea.I’ll go with ya, Jimmy.”

Lou laughed.“Me too.”

But Jimmy remained stubborn.

“See, I don’t see any need for
that because this stuff you gave me,” he said to Teaspoon, “I think’s workin’
out real well.Don’t hardly hurt no
more.”To illustrate his point, he
slappedat his swollen cheek.Lou and the others just looked at him, not
buying his bravado.Lou wondered how
long he’d be able to hold out before doing something about that tooth.It was obvious he was in a lot of pain.

She just shook her head and
followed the others into Thompkins’ store.They were always careful to go in groups after that fight they’d had
over Buck a month or two ago.Lou could
hear Teaspoon and Thompkins discussing their order, but really didn’t pay much
attention as she wandered aimlessly around the store.

Her meandering eventually brought
her over to the dress goods on a table in a corner of the store.She absently picked up a man’s bowler and
looked at it.It was very similar to the
one DeWitt, Tyler, had worn.It had been
very dashing on him.Maybe she’d get one
for Kid for his birthday.When was the Kid’s birthday, anyway? she
wondered idly as she set the hat back down.

Moving on to the next hat, she
stopped for a moment.It was a
beautifully decorated woman’s bonnet. The sort of bonnet Emma might wear to
Sunday Services. It had a pretty, ruffly ribbon around the crown with several
cloth flowers on the front.Lou tilted
her head, imagining wearing the confection herself.It would even hide her lack of hair, she
thought whimsically.Reaching out, she
began to tilt it from side to side, the way Tyler had when helping her better
situate her straw hat.Absently, she
began to hum the tune that had been playing at the restaurant to herself.

As if conjured out her memory,
she heard his voice.

“Excuse me, Sir. I was looking
for the proprietor.”

Lou jerked her head up, snatching
her hands away from the bonnet as if they’d been burned.It wasn’t a memory.He was here!She ducked down to hide behind the row of hats and bonnets.

“Tyler DeWitt, Mutual Assurance
Company of Chicago, at your service.”

Keeping a close eye on him, Lou
skittled out from behind the table, turning her back on the room.Glimpsing a pile of those penny dreadful
Thompkins sold, Lou grabbed one and held it up open in front of her face. “I
was wondering if I could have a moment of your time.”

Keeping a close eye on Tyler to
make sure he didn’t turn around, Lou moved slowly toward the door, her only
thought on escaping the store before he saw her and exposed her charade.She stopped near a stack of canned goods as
Tyler tipped his hat to Thompkins and Teaspoon and turned in her
direction.Now what? she wondered.Peeking around the stacked cans of food, she watched as Tyler moved
around the store, always in her general direction, checking out the various
good for sale.He came to a stop on the
other side of the table Lou was hiding behind and paused to take a bite out of
an apple he’d grabbed. Perfect!Lou
gently pushed against the table, tipping it forward and knocking half the cans
to the ground.Even as Tyler reached
out, attempting to stop their downward tumble, Lou made good her escape.

She hurried around the side of
the store, only stopping once she was clear of the street.Peeking around the corner, she saw no one had
followed her.Good.Leaning back against the wall, she breathed a
sigh of relief.Safe.For the moment.But, she’d have to figure out a way to stay
out of town for a few days, until Tyler was gone.

Turning away from her stallion,
Lou began putting away the blacksmithing tools she’d just used to re-shoe the
horse, chattering to him the entire time.

“It’s starting to get really
warm, isn’t it?Almost feels like
home.”Lightning snorted, shaking his
head up and down in an apparently affirmative response.Lou laughed as she walked back over to him
and ran a hand down his side.“You’re
sweating, boy.Would you like a bath?”

He headbutted her, pushing her
backward toward the trough.She
laughed.Even when things were at their
worst she could always count on Lightning to be there for her.“Alright, I get the message.Just let me go get some clean water,
alright?”

With a reassuring pat on
Lightning’s forehead, Lou headed to get some fresh water from the well.As she pulled the bucket up and set it on the
side of the well, she felt a large hand come to rest on her shoulder.Stiffening, she looked back and relaxed at
the sight of Ike.

“What’s up, Ike?” she asked as
she poured the water into a carrying bucket.

*Yep.And everyone else is gone,* he signed as they
walked back toward the barn.*Besides,
yer easy ta talk to.You always listen.*

“You mean, other than Buck, I’m
the only one who can read all yer signs, dontcha?”

Ike shrugged and gave her a
slightly embarrassed smile.Lou
laughed.Soon, they were standing side
by side, companionably washing down Lightning.Ike started to whistle the tune to a new song they’d recently learned at
the saloon.Soon, Lou was singing and
laughing along to his whistled accompaniment.

“Gwine
to run all night! Gwine to run all day! I'll bet my money on de bob-tail nag -Somebody
bet on de bay,” she warbled, finally unable to continue singing for all her
laughter.She gently shoved Ike back to
retaliate for him getting her started.He responded by dribbling water down the back of her neck from the cloth
he’d been using to clean Lightning.

The
laughter felt so good.Lou was happy to
relax and forget her troubled confusion for the moment.Even as the playfight began to gain momentum,
Lightning stomped a hoof dangerously close to Lou’s toes and turned his head to
glare down at her.

“Sorry,”
she choked back a laugh.“Sorry, we’ll
behave. I promise.”

Getting back to work, she calmed
down enough and started quietly humming the tune to herself.

“Lou?”

Lou turned at the sound of her
name coming from Emma’s house to see Emma standing in the door looking out at
her.

“Could you come in here for a
minute?”

“Sure,” Lou said, dropping her rag
into the bucket of water and turning to walk toward Emma’s house.Passing through the fence gate, she caught a
whiff of herself.She smelled like wet,
dirty horse.She looked briefly down at
her hands then shrugged and quickly wiped them on her trousers, the only
available towel.Springing up the steps
to the porch, she stopped and knocked at the door, calling Emma’s name.When she got no response, she moved on
inside.

"Emma?” she asked again, looking
around.Mrs. Shannon’s house was so
homey.Lou took the moment to survey the
comfortable seating by the fireplace, the prettily set table near the
window.She could only hope to have such
a nice house someday.At the sound of
footsteps, she turned in the direction of the stairs as Emma came down. “You wanted ta see me?”

Emma walked up to Lou saying, “I
wanna try somethin’.Come here.”

She reached out and grabbed Lou’s
glasses, pulling them off.Suddenly
nervous without her shield, Lou ducked her head to hide her face, arms crossed
over chest.

“That’s better,” Emma said,
reaching out to push Lou’s face up with a finger beneath her chin.Meeting her gaze, she said, “You’ve got nice
eyes.”

“Thanks,” Lou said, not sure if
it was a statement or a question.What was Emma about?she wondered uneasily.

Emma reached up and snatched
Lou’s hat off her head, pushing the hair off Lou’s forehead with her other
hand.

“Face is real pretty, too,” Emma
continued.Lou stepped back slightly,
getting nervous.This was just plain
weird.“You shouldn’t hide it the way
you always do.”

Lou nodded slightly a little
scared now and ready to do anything to get out of here.But every step away she took, Emma just followed,
smiling.

“I.. ah…” Lou, completely freaked
out, glanced toward the door, frantic to escape but having no idea how to
without insulting the station mistress.“I have to go, Emma.”

“Why?What’s the matter?”Lou began to breathe a little easier as Emma
moved away from her, toward a chest in the corner under the window.

“Ah…I ah… I have to go help Ike.”

Emma bent over and opened the
trunk, continued to speak as she reached inside. “I’m just tryin’ ta tell you how attractive
you are.”

“Now hold it, Emma!” Lou
exclaimed.This was just too much.Politeness or not, it was time to call a halt
to this farce.But, before Lou could say
another word, Emma whirled around holding a damning pink dress trimmed in white
lace in her hands.Lou shrank into
herself at the sight.

“I think … you’d look a whole lot
better in this.”With a gasp, Lou
covered her face with both hands.It was
over.All over.She started trying to think what job she
could get now.

“I’d love ta see it on you,” Emma
said gently.

Lou shuddered.“I knew I shouldn’ta bought this dress.”

Despite her best attempt at
control, even she could hear the tears of distress in her voice.Emma tilted her head in a questioning move.

“Well, why not?It’s lovely.”Sudden insight entered her eyes and she reached out to once again tilt
Lou’s chin up, forcing her to meet her gaze.“Besides, I knew a long time before I saw this poking out from yer
mattress.”

Lou gulped.Emma’d known?And she hadn’t said anything?
Had Sam told her? Finally, over the growing lump in her throat, she forced out, “How long?”

“Well, right from the first,”
Emma said matter of factly, pulling Lou by hands over to the love seat by the
fire and sitting them both down. “But, I
admired your spunk.”

As Emma continued speaking, Lou
could feel hope growing in her breast.Emma had become an adopted mother to all of them over the last few
months.But, Lou had always felt at a slight
remove from her, due to her charade.Now, as she spoke, Lou could feel the walls between them crumbling and
falling.To hide the overwhelming
feelings coursing through her, Lou began folding the dress on her lap.

Not unaware of Lou’s nerves, Emma
continued, “And I didn’t see no reason why you shouldn’t have the same chance
as the boys.”

“I appreciate that, Emma.It hadn’t been easy,” Lou said.Not knowing what to do with herself, she kept
fiddling with the dress on her lap, rolling it into a ball.There was no way to express just how not easy
it had been.

Emma smiled gently.“Well, I know that and that’s why I thought
we should have this little talk.”Lou
looked up to meet Emma’s eyes again.Emma continued with a commiserating smile. “When I found that dress, it near broke my
heart.I remember a while back at that
dance, you watchin’ all those pretty girls in their fine clothes.Musta hurt real bad.”

Lou looked away at the reminder,
not willing to admit just how true Emma’s words were.Even less willing to admit the night hadn’t
been as bad as Emma supposed.

Lou was still not ready to accept
things might work out, not yet. “What
about my job?” she asked persistently.“The
company’d fire me.”

“Well who’s gonna tell ‘em?” Emma
smiled.“Anyway, you’re one of the best
riders we got.”

“And Teaspoon?” Lou asked,
holding up her last obstacle.

“Ohhhh, well as long as he’s in
the dark there’s no law that says we got ta show him the light.” Emma laughed
slightly.Lou felt herself pulled into
Emma’s sense of the absurd and began to return her smile with a mischievous
grin of her own.Watching the smile
finally blossom on Lou’s face, Emma reached over and pulled her in for a tight
hug.Lou leaned into the embrace,
closing her eyes in pleasure.She hadn’t
felt this loved, this safe, since her mother had died.It was nice being able to let someone else
shoulder the burdens of life, if only for a moment.It was nice letting someone else be the adult,
the parent.

After a moment, though, Lou
opened her eyes and pulled back.Looking
at Emma, she asked, “So, what now?”

Emma patted her knee and
smiled.“Now, we bring the boys in on
the truth.”

“But,” Lou started to protest.

“Oh, I know they already know yer
a girl,” Emma smiled.“I could see how
they changed toward ya after that mess with yer father.But, they don’t really know yer a girl, if ya
know what I mean.”

Lou looked back down at the dress
tangled in her hands.Kid knew.Thememory of his grinning face as she’d stood in the dressmaker’s shop
before that mirror flashed across her brain.Her hands trembled a little.Things had been so simple and straightforward then.Finally, she looked back up at Emma and
asked, “What did ya have in mind?”

Emma reached out and took the
crumpled dress out of Lou’s hands.“Well, for starters, I’d love ta see ya in this dress. It looks
beautiful.”

**********

Lou stood in front of the mirror
at the top of the stairs.She could hear
the china clinking, the boys’ voices mixing with Emma’s.She tugged nervously at the skirt of the
dress, straightening pleats that were already straight.

What was she doing? she wondered for the hundredth time.It had
been hard enough to get the boys to let her do her job after they’d found out
she was a girl, without actually showing them.This was such mistake.

She started to turn back to the
bedroom and the safety of her trousers and vest.Too late.She could hear Emma’s voice calling out to her.

“I would like ta introduce to you
Miss Louise McCloud.”

Taking a deep breath, Lou started
to step forward, than stopped.Better to
start things off the way she meant to go on.“The first one that laughs gets a punch in the nose.”

“Lulabelle!” came Emma’s
exasperated cry.Lou smothered a
giggle.She’d never let the boys get
away with calling her something like that, but from Emma it sounded so much
like something her Ma or Grandpa McCloud might’ve called her.She found the name was growing on her
already.Sighing, Lou stepped slowly
forward, peeking timidly around the corner before turning it completely.Emma continued in a satisfied tone. “I wanted y’all ta see how pretty she looks.”

The boys’ reactions were worth
the hour she’d spent bathing and primping in Emma’s upstairs bedroom.She scanned their faces, watching as shock
slowly changed their expressions, all but one.Jimmy, who’d been laughing at Lou and Emma’s exchange turned his head to
look up at Lou and lost his beautiful grin.Buck and Cody, standing at the back of the group, both took a step
forward, faces rapt.Ike smiled gently,
as if completely unsurprised.Kid just
sat there grinning at her.The same grin
he’d worn that day in the dressmaker’s shop.The grin he only ever turned on her.The grin that made her insides melt.

“I didn’t mess things up for ya,
Lou.Did I?” Kid asked, as if reading
her mind.

Lou crossed her arms around her
waist, trying to hold the happiness of this moment in.With a slight break in her voice she answered
his question.“She knew all along.”

She knew the boys were laughing
and joking about her transformation, but she was too busy absorbing the Kid’s
reaction.The look in his eyes, that was
why she’d bought this dress in the first place.She basked in the appreciative glow.Suddenly, unable to hold his gaze anymore, she looked away, covering her
burning cheeks.But she couldn’t resist
another peak in his direction, once again finding herself trapped in his eyes.

“Well, don’t just stand there,”
Emma scolded.“Come on down here, so’s
they can meet you proper.”

Rising to his feet, Kid walked
over to the base of the stairs and held out a hand toward Lou.Carefully holding her skirts in one hand and
the railing in the other, she made her way down to his side, letting go of the
railing only long enough to grasp Kid’s hand.Looking up into his eyes, she smiled at him naturally.This was the way things should be.It felt so right.

Suddenly, she felt a hand on her
shoulder.Looking up, she saw Buck
standing next to her, smiling his infectious grin.Behind him stood Ike.Then, Jimmy and Cody joined the circle,
pushing Kid out of their way.

“Now boys,” Lou admonished,
laughing.“I don’t know what yer all so
het up about.I’m the same me I was two
hours ago!”

“No ya ain’t,” Cody smiled down
at her.Lord, she thought, she’d never
noticed just how much taller they all were than her.“Two hours ago ya was Lou.Now yer Louise.That’s gonna take some gettin’ used to.”

“And, unlike the Kid here, we
ain’t got no experience with Louise,” Jimmy smiled, playfully punching Kid’s
shoulder.Kid just ducked his head and
blushed.

“Well, why don’t you all escort
Miss Louise to the table,” Emma suggested, a laugh in her voice.“And we can commence with the getting to know
each other.”

Lou found herself being passed
from one of her brothers to the other as they all fought over who would escort
her to the table.In the end, Jimmy was
there, holding her chair out for her.Sitting down, he pushed the chair in to the table, then sat next to her.
Kid quickly occupied the seat on her other side with the others ranged across
the table from her.

A girl could get used to all this attention, Lou thought.

**********

Lou leaned against the corral
fence, considering the events of the last week.It had been eventful to say the least.But, things seemed to be getting back on an even keel.Even the boys, as excited as they’d been at
Emma’s little Coming Out party, had managed not to let that change how they
treated her on a daily basis.

Thinking of which… she
sighed.It was time to get back to
work.Teaspoon and the boys should be
back soon from town.She’d avoided the
trip by trading chores with Cody.All of
which meant she needed to finish cleaning the manure out from the corrals.

Reaching over, she grabbed the
shovel and began attacking the horse droppings with vigor.She was so absorbed in her work, she didn’t
hear Teaspoon and the boys return.Nor
did she hear Kid walking up to her.

“Lou?”

She looked up from her work, slightly
surprised at his presence.

“What happened in Blue Creek?” he
asked, getting straight to the point.

“What?” she asked, honestly
confused by the unexpected question.

Kid came to a stop next to the
fence post.He looked at her steadily
and said quietly, “You heard me.”

Lou paused, trying to think what
could have him asking this question.Had
she somehow given something away?Was he
angry at her?Jealous?Finally, she decided the safest tack was
denial.“I don’t know what yer talkin’
about.”

But, she was unable to meet his
eyes even as she spoke.

Kid, stubborn soul that he was
wouldn’t let her get away with that.He
pressed on in that same steady tone.“That
fella that was in Thompkins’ store yesterday, he’s been askin’ all over town
about ya.

Lou shrugged, keeping her eyes
downcast.“I didn’t notice anyone.”

“Yes ya did,” Kid pounced
verbally, his voice hardening as he continued.She could tell he was starting to lose his patience.“Ya ‘bout broke a leg tryin’ ta get outta
there.Who is he?”

Lou stiffened her shoulders and
her tone.“I tol’ ya, I don’t know.

Why did he have to keep at her? she wondered.Why
couldn’t he just leave well enough alone?She squirmed internally at lying to him outright, but didn’t know what
else to do.She just couldn’t bring
herself to tell him what had happened.

“Stop lyin’,” Kid said in a
dangerously calm voice.He wasn’t going
to let this go. That really started to
get under Lou’s skin.Couldn’t he tell
she didn’t to talk about this?

“Stay outta my business,” she
spat at him, pushing the shovel she’d been holding violently to the ground and
stomping toward him.Stopping in front
of him she repeated the refrain she’d been telling herself for the last week,
not that it had done her conscience any good.“I don’t owe you nothin’.”

Without another look at his
wounded and worried countenance, she stomped off toward the bunkhouse.Maybe she could get a little peace
there.But, the more she thought about
the whole situation, the more she knew she’d have to do something about it.She changed directions and headed over to
Emma’s place, instead.

“Lou,” Emma said, starting to
smile to see the disheveled rider on her doorstep.“What brings you around this afternoon?”

“Do you have some paper?” Lou asked,
fiddling with the hat in her hands, not able to meet the older woman’s eyes.

“Sure,” Emma smiled.Stepping back, she held the door open for
Lou.“Why don’t you come on in and tell
me what’s up while I get it?”

Emma looked at her doubtfully but
accepted Lou’s excuse and quickly brought her a sheet of paper.After she closed the door, Lou sat down on
the porch steps and, laying the paper on the porch, pulled out a pencil.Mulling it over for a moment, she finally
decided what to say and started to rapidly scribble her note.

Sighing, she folded the note up
and, taking it into the bunkhouse, used a bit of beeswax from a candle to seal
it.Soon, she was on Lightning, headed
into town.

**********

Lou sighed as she snuck out the
backdoor of the bunkhouse with her dress wrapped up in a brown paper package
under her arm.The boys were all out
front, enjoying an after dinner ramble with Teaspoon.She had a run in the morning, so it had been
easy to convince them she wanted to turn in early.

Moving as quietly as she could,
she headed over to the barn and slipped inside to saddle Lightning.Soon, she was pounding across the prairie,
headed for Sweetwater.She just prayed
her visit would be short enough to keep anyone from recognizing her.

A short ways out of town, she
pulled Lightning to a stop inside a small copse of trees.Leaving him tied to a low hanging branch, she
pulled out the dress and began the process of transforming herself from Lou
into Louise.

Once she had the dress on, she
began the walk into town, flinching at every night sound along the way.She felt so naked out here without her
gun!It got worse once she entered town.Now, it wasn’t nature she had to be afraid
of, but every man, woman and child she’d ever met or ever would meet.Moving quickly but cautiously down the
street, using alleys whenever she could, she made her way to the hotel.She kept tugging at the dress, which suddenly
didn’t seem to fit her at all.She was
really starting to hate the damned thing.Finally, in exasperation, she grabbed a handful of the skirts and held
them up, out of the way of her feet so she could make quicker progress to her
rendezvous.

Looking up, she saw Tyler
standing there, waiting for her.Her
steps slowed involuntarily.He was so
elegant in his fine broadcloth suit and bowler hat.And he treated her so well.She hated to do this, but felt she had no
choice.There was no room for him in her
life.

He smiled invitingly at her, even
as he called her name.“Louise!”

Her steps faltered.This was why she had to do this.He could never deal with Lou.Her smile faded away.Twisting her hands in her skirts to hide her
nervousness she said, “Sorry, I’m…
late.”

He tilted his head a little,
still smiling at her.“I was getting worried.I thought you’d changed your mind.”

“I almost did,” she admitted.

She could see this took him
aback, but, as ever, he didn’t let it slow him for long.

“You’re a hard woman to find,” he
laughed slightly.

Hearing footsteps on the
boardwalk across the street, she took a few steps toward him, hoping to keep
this conversation private.Raising her
face, she met his eyes.Her tone
softened as she saw the his appreciation of her in them.“Why’d you come ta Sweetwater, Tyler?”

Tilting his head, he got that
flirty look on his face.“I promised I’d
see you again.I always keep my word to
a Lady.”

The way he spoke, it sounded like
he’d capitalized the word lady.Lou
smiled softly, regretfully, at the thought.“I cain’t.”

She saw his face starting to lose
its eagerness at her words.She couldn’t
bear to watch.Why had no one ever told
her this would be so hard?They talked
about the pleasure of having beaus by the dozen, but this juggling just wasn’t
worth it.She dropped her gaze to the
ground.

“That’s why I came here, to tell
ya ta stop lookin’ fer me,” she added.Lifting her chin, she snuck another glance his way.

“Why? Does your mother object?”

She stiffened, not liking how his
tone had turned hard.And his odd
emphasis on the word mother told her he’d never bought her cover story.

“You shouldn’t have lied to me,
Louise.”

“I had to,” she said.Truth enough.Turning her back on him, she started to move away, putting more distance
between them.There was something about
his stance that had suddenly turned… predatory and she didn’t like it.But, he followed her.

“Why?” he demanded.

Lou, still walking away, stopped at
the hitching post with her back to DeWitt.Time for some more truth, mostly.It was the only thing guaranteed to get him to forget her.“There’s someone else.We intend to marry.”

“You love him?” he asked.

“Of course,” Lou said, wondering
why he would even ask such a question.Why would she ever marry someone she didn’t love?Lost in her thoughts, she missed Tyler’s
latest movements as he neared her, bracing one arm on each side of her, pushing
her back against the hitching post behind her.

“No you don’t,” he insisted.“You’re just saying that because you think
I’ll believe you and then I’ll go away. Well, you can’t get rid of me that
easy.”

She heard the catch in his voice
and felt awful, even more awful than she’d been feeling all evening.How could that be?Why did things have to be so hard?Why couldn’t love and romance be easy?

At the same time, she seriously
did not like the way he’d trapped her.That made her feel very vulnerable.Hardening her heart to him, Lou ducked under his arms to escape.

“I don’t wanna see you, Tyler,”
she said, being perfectly honest now.She just wanted this over with and forgotten.But he grabbed her by the shoulders and swung
her around and into his arms.

“I don’t believe you,” he
insisted, pulling her close, almost shaking her in his desperation.

Lou was seriously getting scared
now.Keeping her arms between them, for all
the protection they offered, she looked away. “Stop it!”

Almost shouting now, Tyler
insisted, “You’re not getting married!You’re just scared.”His half
angry tone scared her as much as the tight grasp he kept on her.Leaning forward, he rubbed his lips across
her forehead.She shrank away from
him.This was too much.She started to consider yelling for Sam.

“I want you and you feel the same
way about me,” he continued, pulling back to look in her face. “If you didn’t you wouldn’t be here.”

Without giving her a chance to
reply, he leaned forward and captured her mouth with his.Despite the anger behind the kiss, Lou still
felt the exultant response of her body to his physical attentions.It was like when Kid kissed her, yet completely
different and she reveled in the unique sensation.But, she never quite relaxed, never let down
her guard, keeping her hands up and at the ready to push Tyler away if he went
a step too far.

Pushing him back, Lou looked up
at Tyler.She took several steps away
from him, her voice trembling slightly.She didn’t understand what was happening to her.“I meant what I said.”

Half-turned to run away at the
slightest provocation, she pointed at him to emphasis her words, nodding her
head to make sure he understood.Then,
she turned and started to walk away as sedately as she could.But, within a few steps, she began to move
faster, in a hurry to get away from this disturbing scene.Reaching up, she swiped a forearm across her
lips, as if to wipe away the devastating kiss he’d just forced on her.

“We’ll be seeing each other,
again!”

Hearing him call after her, Lou
stopped to look back at him, her arm still raised to her mouth.Shaking her head, she turned away again and
continued back to her horse.

**********

The next morning, Lou caught the
pouch from Cody and took off East for Horse Creek.It would be a short run, but it would give
her time to think.The images of Kid and
Tyler chased each other through her mind to the rhythm of her mount’s pounding
hooves.She knew she needed to make a
decision, a choice of some sort.But she
had no idea what to do.

About mid-afternoon she passed
off the mochila and dismounted, weary in soul as well as body.She nodded her thanks to Tom as he took her
horse and headed for the corrals to cool it down and feed it.She sank onto the bunkhouse porch, waiting
for the rider to come with her return pouch.

While she sat there, she pulled
out the ring she’d bought in Blue Creek, dumping it out of its velveteen bag to
stare at the engravings and blue stone.It represented all her hopes and dreams.But now she was wondering who the man in that daydream had been.Had it been Kid?Or had it been Tyler?Did she want someone her own age?Or someone with a little life
experience?Someone who’d already
figured himself out?She sighed heavily.

“That’s a purty ring,” Zeb
said.“You done got ya a sweetheart?”

Startled, she looked up to find
Zeb had brought out her new mount for the return run.Lou shrugged her shoulders, not really
answering his question.He dropped down
to sit next to her on the steps.

“I had me a gal oncet,” he
said.“She decided she preferred a city
boy over an Express Rider.Said he had a
future and I didn’t.”

“That ain’t true,” Lou protested
defensively.

“I know,” Zeb said.“I got plans.But, they take time and she wasn’t ready ta wait fer me.Guess it just wasn’t meant ta be.”

Shaking off his melancholy
thoughts, he turned to Lou.“You gonna
give that ta yer gal.”

Again, she just shrugged, having
no idea what she was going to do.

“Well, if ya are,” he added, “I’d
get right on it, before some other feller beats ya to it.”

“Yeah, I knew,” he admitted.“Didn’t really bother me.I figgered, I had another gal over by
Sweetwater, why shouldn’t she have another feller?But, it did bother me when I found out she’d
been lyin’ ta me and never really thought we’d go anywhere.That really got my goat!”

Lou nodded in commiseration.It still didn’t make her feel any
better.After all, she had been lying,
to both Tyler and Kid.

“What is it with you and the
Kid?” Zeb asked curiously.“You both
sparking the same gal or something?”Before Lou could ask him what he was talking about, Zeb jumped to his
feet and shouted, “Rider up!”

Looking to the East, she saw a
new guy racing toward the station.With
a running leap she was on her horse’s back and catching the mochila.Another day, another run.,

**********

After passing her horse to Buck
to be cooled off and put up, Lou wandered over to Emma’s place.She wasn’t feeling like hanging out with the
boys right now.There was too much on
her mind.Knocking on the door, she
removed her hat and held it in her hand.

“Lou!” Emma exclaimed, surprised
to see her. “I left your dinner over at the bunkhouse, honey.I wasn’t expectin’ ya ta come on over.Figgered you’d want to eat and sleep.”

Lou shrugged as she followed Emma
into the house.

“Don’t feel much like eatin’,”
she muttered.

Emma turned around so fast Lou
practically ran her over.But Emma never
noticed.She’d already put the back of
her hand to Lou’s forehead.“What’s the
matter, Lulabelle?You feelin’ poorly?”

“I ain’t sick, Emma,” Lou
sighed.“Just… I, well I was hopin’ ya
could help me figger some stuff out.”

A bright smile lightened Emma’s
features as she brushed stray strands of her bright red locks out of her
face.“Come on into my parlor, then
young lady.A little tea and some conversation
and we’ll have ya fixed all up.”

Lou just hoped it would be that
easy.Sitting down at the table, Lou
watched quietly while Emma filled the teapot with water and set it over the
fire in the fireplace.Wiping her hands
on her apron, Emma began to get out the tea leaves and china.

“Why don’t you start tellin’ me
what’s botherin’ ya while I get this all set-up,” she encouraged.

Despite a couple of false starts,
Lou managed to spill the whole sorry tale.By the time she’d finished, Emma was pouring her tea and sitting down
next to her.Not meeting Emma’s eyes,
Lou kept her gaze firmly planted on her glasses, her hands nervously fiddling
with the useless eye pieces.She sighed
as Emma sat down next to her.

“It was nice Emma.I never been treated that way by a man before,”
Lou said quietly.She snuck a quick
glance at her mentor to see how she was reacting to this revelation.“It made me feel good… you know?Like a real lady.”

Emma huffed a small laugh as she
noted the wistful look in Lou’s eyes.

“Well, that’s how it’s s’posed ta
be.”But the hardened tone of her voice
captured Lou’s attention and had her listening real close.“How it sometimes is.

Emma looked away for a moment and
Lou wondered what it was she was thinking about so hard.What wasn’t she saying?Lou had a feeling it might tell her more than
Emma was willing to say.

“Lord knows you haven’t been
gettin’ that around here,” Emma added.

Lou could feel tears gathering
behind her eyes.She hadn’t realized
what all she’d been missing until she’d come here and met Emma and the
boys.She looked away.If she met Emma’s eyes right now she’d be
blubbering in no time.Even so, she
couldn’t quite keep the tremble out of her voice as she admitted her fears.

“But… there was… somethin’ else
about him, somethin’… I… I don’t know… scary?The closer I got ta him, the more I felt it.It frightened me, the way he wanted me.”Lou looked back up at Emma as she confessed
her greatest guilt about the entire situation.“But I liked it, too.”

Watching Emma’s face harden, Lou
steeled herself for the dressing down she knew was about to come.Yet it didn’t.Emma waited and thought a moment before
replying, “Well, Lulabelle, some men in this world are takers. And it sounds like he might be one of ‘em.”

Takers?Lou thought.Like Pa?But she couldn’t ask
Emma about that.She hadn’t told her
about her Pa yet, and wasn’t sure if or when she ever would.Scared, she asked, “How can I tell?”

“Well, don’t.You didn’t make no promises and you did not do anything wrong.So, you put that notion, right out of your
head,” Emma said adamantly.Lou looked
at her, wanting to believe what she was hearing but still, in her heart,
knowing it wasn’t true.“You’ve been
livin’ here, pretendin’ ta be somethin’ yer not.And there is no reason ta feel guilty about
feelin’ like a lady.”

Emma paused and smiled at Lou,
who tried feebly to return the smile, but failed.Emma continued, “You just make sure you’re
not makin’ a mistake.Or hurtin’ anybody.”

Lou frowned slightly at that and
shook her head.That was the
problem.She hadn’t been growing up, not
really, for several years now.

“It’s not easy not growin’ up, either,” she finally
admitted.

Emma laughed and patted Lou on
the shoulder.They both looked up when
they heard Teaspoon yelling, “Rider comin’!”

Emma moved to the window and
peered around the curtain.“Looks like
Kid’s back from his run.”

Lou nodded and grabbed her
hat.Break time was over.It was her job to help put away Kid’s horse,
not that he’d let her do much of it, just as Buck had put away Lightning.

Even as they all shouted words of
encouragement to Buck, taking off toward the East with Kid’s pouch, the sound
of another pair of hooves caught their attention.

“Wonder who that might be?”
Teaspoon asked, spitting on the ground.

“Why, it’s Sam!” Kid
exclaimed.“What's he doin’ out
here in the middle of the week?Ain’t
like it’s Sunday Go A Courtin’ time.”

Lou smothered a chuckle at the
sight of the red blush staining Emma’s cheeks.But, it turned out Sam was here to talk to Teaspoon.After bringing some water to Katy, Lou
climbed up in the buckboard to think, while Kid finished unsaddling his
horse.Lou soon had the conversation
tuned out as she mulled over Emma’s advice.

In some ways, Emma was
right.She’d never made Kid any
promises, not verbal ones.But, she’d
thought they’d had an understanding and that’s what she felt she’d violated.She was sure he’d feel the same way if he
ever found out about Tyler.

She found herself watching the Kid
move about the station yard, his muscles rippling under his shirt, his bright
blue eyes glinting in the sunlight, the wrinkles already forming around his
lips from his frequent smiles.There was
so much she liked, no loved, about the Kid.She just couldn’t imagine her life without him in it.

But, he was young, inexperienced
in the ways of the world, just getting a start on life.Tyler was dashing, elegant and knew so
much.His experience attracted her in
ways she didn’t understand.His kisses
had certainly gotten her heart racing as much as Kid’s.But, there’d been something wrong, something
off.He’d been too possessive, too
demanding.Too much like her Pa, she
suddenly thought.That’s the problem,
she realized.While she’d begun to open
up to Kid, share her life and dreams, though not yet much about her past, with
him because of how much he reminded her of her Grandpa McCloud, Tyler reminded
her of her Pa.

This revelation shed a whole new
light on everything Tyler had said or done.Lou began to re-examine their entire acquaintance.She’d just reached the conclusion she’d done
the right thing to send him on his way, when something Sam was saying caught
her ear.

“Anyways, I was hopin’ that
fella, that insurance fella, DeWitt could help me.”

At the sound of Tyler’s name, Lou
suddenly started paying attention to the conversation.What had she missed?Oh, yeah, something about that gang robbing
all the freight wagons around here lately.

“But he tells me he ain’t privy to
any of the shipping schedules,” Sam continued.

Lou lifted her chin from where it
had been resting on her arm.“He told
you that?”

She couldn’t believe what she was
hearing.Then, she nearly kicked herself
for speaking up as both Sam and Teaspoon turned to look at her.Lou quickly looked away.

“That’s right,” Sam said.“Somethin’ wrong?”

Lou shook her head and quietly
answered, “No.”

She very carefully avoided Emma’s
questioning look as she began plotting a trip into town.

**********

Lou looked down at the shipping schedules
Tyler had bragged about having access to back in Blue Creek.The same schedules he’d told Sam he didn’t
have.She knew what this meant.She knew she needed to get them to Sam right
away, just as soon as she was sure she had everything.She started shuffling through the papers
again when she heard the door snap close and a gun being cocked behind her.

“Take off your gunbelt,” Tyler
told her.“And raise ‘em. Real slow.”

With a suppressed sigh, Lou did
as he’d instructed, setting aside the papers and slowly, carefully unbuckling
her gunbelt and letting it fall to her feet.

“Whoever you are, you just made a
big mistake,” he nearly purred in an ugly tone.“Turn around.”

Idly wondering how he was going
to react, she slowly turned around then raised her eyes to meet his.He paused, then stepped closer to her, a
puzzled look crossing his face. He
reached out and pushed her hat back by its brim.Comprehension slowly dawned.

“Louise?” he drawled.

Lou decided to play it cool,
nonchalant.

“Tyler,” she said, as if they’d
just run into each other on the boardwalk. “Those the shipment schedules you told me
about?”She pointed to the papers with
her chin.

A slightly dazed DeWitt answered
her mockingly.“It would appear that
way.”

“You’re the one behind those
hold-ups all along,” she stated calmly.Her thoughts earlier at the station coalesced into one certainty at this
moment. She probably should have told someone where she was going, she thought
distractedly.

DeWitt chuckled and half smiled
at her. “Sometimes the truth comes out
in strange ways.”

“Yeah,” Lou said very quietly,
admitting her own lies to him as well as to the Kid and the others back at the
station, even Sam.

DeWitt stepped closer again,
trying to use his size to intimidate her.He asked in a sharply pointed voice, “Who are you Louise? And why are ya
here? No games now.”

Lou shrugged slightly.Nothing but the truth from here on out, she
figured.It wasn’t going to make much
difference in the long run, not with no one knowing where she was or what she
was up to.

“I’m the same person you met in
Blue Creek.I also ride for the Pony
Express.You been robbin’ the company I
work for,” she said, managing to avoid crying.She was sorry she’d never get to tell the boys goodbye, or to let Kid
know how much he’d really meant to her.She didn’t really want to die.

“I see.You know?I liked you.I really did,” he
said, letting his charming side show for a brief moment.

“Does the Marshal know you’re
here?” he pressed on.When she didn’t
answer, no reason to she figured, he laughed self-deprecatingly. “You’re not gonna tell me, are you?”

His voice suddenly shifted from
light and teasing to heavy and menacing.“You afraid of me, Louise?”

She looked at him questioningly. What did he mean?She knew he was going to kill her, but she
wasn’t really afraid of what he could do to her.The worst had already happened.

“I asked you a question.Are you afraid of me?”

She shook her head.No, she wasn’t afraid of him.She wasn’t afraid of being beaten up and she
wasn’t afraid of dying.She was just
sorry, and mad, that she’d let him fool her.Her own thoughts prevented her from seeing his hand flying toward her
face until it made contact.She grunted
at the pain as the power of his slap flung her toward the floor.Her arms reached out reflexively to break her
fall, but it was too little, too late.She hit her head on the corner of the nightstand on the way to the
ground.The world started to black out
as she landed, but she hung on to consciousness long enough to roll over and
glare up at him.

**********

Lou groaned at the ache in her
head as she slowly awoke.She found
herself tied up in the back of a buckboard, speeding across the prairie.

“Glad to hear you waking up,
Sleeping Beauty,” Tyler murmured from the driver’s seat.“I thought you were going to sleep the day
away.”

Lou slowly pushed herself up into
a sitting position and stared back across the prairie in the direction they’d
just come from.She was hoping against
hope to see one of the boys, even Sam or Teaspoon, come riding over the
horizon.But, the horizon remained
maddeningly blank.She pulled her hat
off and began to worry it with her hands.Then realized she had the perfect clue to leave the boys.

Tyler was unwittingly using one
of the routes the riders covered on a daily basis.Trying to be unobtrusive about it, she tossed
her hat to the ground.If she was lucky,
they’d see her hat, recognize it and start tracking her.At least they’d know what had happened to
her, even if they didn’t find her in time to save her.She nearly groaned as DeWitt pulled back on
the reins.

“Whoa!Whoa!” he shouted to the horses before
turning back to look at Lou.“That’s
very clever.”

Lou glanced up at him without
physically moving, not ready or willing to say anything to him.

“Now, go back and get it,” he
ordered.

With a glare,Lou did as he’d instructed, making sure to
rough up the ground with her shoes and leave clear footprints along the
way.She hid her glee by throwing
herself back onto the back of the buckboard with a pout. Then, she ran her hands over her face, to make
sure she didn’t gibve anything away.

**********

Lou had given up trying to avoid
his blows.She’d also refused to answer
any of his questions.It was the
principle of the thing.Her eye was
starting to turn black and her lip was split, but she was proud of the
injuries.They proved her
toughness.He could just keep it
up.She could take anything he dished
out, she thought even as he punched her again.

She started to fall with the
force of the blow.He dragged her back
to her feet, leaning her listing body against his.She glared at him over her shoulder.

“Now, one more time,” he growled,
“are they expectin’ us?”

“I hope so,” she admitted,
imagining the boys reactions when they followed her trail and found her
body.She winced internally as she heard
the tears that thought had brought into her voice.

“She hopes so,” DeWitt grunted
with a laugh to his friends.

“She don’t know nothin’,” one of
them said.DeWitt nodded even as he
punched her in the face, again, this time apparently for not knowing
anything.Again, she fell over.This time he let her land on her
stomach.He was bending over her,
already grasping the collar of her jacket to jerk her back up when something
one of the other men said distracted him.

Lou took the time to catch her
breath.But, as soon as she realized the
situation with his fellow thieves had him completely distracted, she began to
inch her way toward the horses.Maybe,
just maybe, he wouldn’t get the chance to kill her after all.

She forced herself to move
slowly, not wanting to attract his attention.Yet every second she remained there meant another second he might turn
her way.

Bam!She jumped as a bullet hit the dirt right in
front of her face.

“Don’t leave us yet, Louise,” he
said, walking over and jerking her up off the ground. “Louise. Louise. Louise.,” he called her name
several times, shaking her like a rag doll until she opened her eyes to look at
him.“Hunh?That’s very good.”

He spun her around easily,
despite her renewed and increasingly frantic attempts to break free.Finally, he brought her to rest against his
chest, his arm painfully tight around her throat.Then, his hostage secured, he returned to his
disagreement with his fellow thief

It didn’t surprise Lou in the
least when a moment later he casually raised his gun and shot the man he’d been
arguing with.Even as the outlaw fell
tot eh ground dead, DeWitt was reholstering his pistol.

“Now it’s time for truth,” he
said, swinging Lou around to face him.She started fighting him again.If she kept fighting one of two things might happen.She might delay him long enough for the boys
to find her.Or, she’d make him so made
he’d kill her.Either way she’d have
made him do what she wanted.

“Oh, good!” he chortled.“You’ve got some fight left in ya.”

Lou was puzzled when he began to
slice away at the ropes around her hands, freeing them.He reached out and held her hands together in
one of his, despite her best efforts to fight him off. Peering down at her he asked, “Why aren’t ya
afraid of me?”

“Should I be?” she asked,
exhausted.There wasn’t anything new he
could do to her, except kill her.And
death had ceased to frighten her.It was
the living that could be so difficult at times.

“Sure,” he responded, confused.“What are you trying to prove here?”

Realizing that her lack of fear
was really getting to him, Lou slowly shook her head and smiled up at him slightly.

“Nothin’,” she said, giving him
the truth.“You’re gonna kill me
anyway.So, go ahead, get it over with.”

Despite knowing the blow was
coming, Lou did nothing to avoid it, simply accepting it as part of her
fate. That accepting attitude changed
in an instant when she heard Sam’s voice.

“This is the United States
Marshal.Drop yer weapons and put yer
hands behind yer heads.”

Even as the predictable gunfight
broke out, Lou began to thrash around in DeWitt’s arms, trying to slow his
escape while at the same time make her own.Now that rescue was at hand, her accepting attitude toward an impending
death had flown.

Despite her best efforts, DeWitt
made it to his horse.Tossing her aside
like a sack of grain, he mounted his stead and spurred it off into the nearby
brush.

“Like hell,” Lou muttered,
jumping to her feet and grabbing the reins of the nearest remaining mount.It wasn’t Lightning, but would have to
do.Forcing her weary body to leap into
the saddle, she gave chase.Even as she ducked
to avoid the low hanging branches at the edge of the clearing, she could hear
Kid yelling after her, but she had no time to stop.Not if she wanted to keep DeWitt from getting
away.

Even on the strange horse, it
didn’t take her long to catch up to him.Her own familiarity with the territory helped her take a couple
shortcuts.Soon, she was rounding scrub
on one side as he exited on the other side.Pushing out of the stirrups with her feet, she leaped onto his back,
knocking him off his horse.

She landed with a tuck and
roll.Pushing herself up on her arms,
she saw that he’d dropped his gun.Grabbing it, she looked up and pointed it at him.

“Stop right there,” she gritted
out, refusing to pant for breath.

He just threw his shoulders back
in his characteristically confident swagger and stepped toward her with a
slight grin.

DeWitt didn’t take the hint,
continuing to move closer to her, his movements taking on a predatory feel to
them.A feel that reminded her too much
of that other one, the one who’d survived treating her like this, and worse.Something she’d swore she’d never let any man
get away with again!

“Stay away from me!” she almost
shouted, desperately trying to get him to stop.He didn’t.She sighted down the
gun, giving him one last second to save his life.He didn’t.She squeezed the trigger, exactly how Jimmy’d shown her, putting her
bullet precisely where she wanted it, right in his black heart.

He looked down at his chest and
the blossoming rosetta of blood in confusion, then back up at her.He tilted his head in a silent question.

“Don’t be surprised,” she gasped.
“You had it comin’.”

Even as he fell over, dead, she
heard hooves pounding up behind her.Seconds later, a pair of belovedly familiar hands were grasping her
shoulders and helping her stand.

“You alright?” he whispered.

“It’s alright, Kid,” she reassured
him and herself.“I’m alright.”

Kid helped her to her feet and she
turned toward him, relaxing as he wrapped his wonderful, protecting arms around
her in a loving hug.His tenderness
brought the tears.She began to sob.What had she done?

“Shhhhhh,” he crooned to her,
rubbing his hands up and down her back in a reassuring manner.Dropping her gun, she reached up to return
the embrace, hugging him tight, as she continued to cry.She’d though the worst was over when she’d
shot DeWitt.Now, she realized the worst
was yet to come.

**********

“Lou, I’m takin’ you off the run
rotation for the next week,” Teaspoon told her that night.She’d refused to see a doctor, but Kid said
she, at the least, had bruised ribs to go with her split lips and black eyes.

Lou nodded disconsolately.Teaspoon waited, as if expecting her to say
something else, then sighed and walked off toward his room in the barn.Lou just sat there, leaning against the porch
post, staring at nothing.

The boys had all tried to talk to
her, to let her know everything was going to be alright, since she’d gotten
back.The problem was, she knew they
were all wrong.Nothing was ever going
to be alright again.Not after Kid
learned the full truth.And she was
going to have to be the one to tell him.But not tonight.She didn’t have
the strength to do any of this tonight.

Wearily, she shoved herself to
her feet and dragged herself over to the barn.Soon, she was bedded down next to Lightning.In the morning, she thought. She’d talk to
Kid in the morning.

**********

“What do you mean he’s not here?”
she demanded irritably.

“What do you think I mean, Lou?”
Jimmy asked.“Exactly that.He ain’t here.Teaspoon had him take the morning run.He’ll be back in a couple days.”

“Damn it all to hell!” she
growled, hauling off and taking a swing at the nearest stall door, pushing her
fist straight through the wood plank.Not even pausing to examine the damage she’d done, she stomped off
muttering to herself.

That night, she moved back into
the bunkhouse.After spending the first
half of the night tossing and turning, she moved down to Kid’s bed.Soon, her nose pressed into his pillow to
inhale his scent, she fell fast asleep, silent tears leaving dirty trails down
her cheeks.

**********

“Lou,” Sam called to her as she
walked away from the church after Sunday services.She stopped and looked back at him.“Lou, I need you to stay in town
tonight.The judge’ll be arriving
sometime today.And either this evening or
first thing in the morning he’s gonna wanna talk ta ya ‘bout what happened with
DeWitt.”

“He was gonna kill me, Sam,” she
sputtered.“It was self-defense!”

"I know, Lou,” Sam smiled down at
her.“That ain’t what I’m talkin’ ‘bout.He just needs ta talk ta ya ‘bout what ya
heard from them while they had ya hostage.We want ta make sure they didn’t have anymore ‘complices back at the
insurance company.”

“Alright,” Lou sighed.“Guess I kin bed down in the jail tonight.”

“Thanks,” Sam said, patting her
on the shoulder.Noticing her downcast
expression, he asked, “You alright?”

She pulled away from him jerkily
and started striding toward the jail.“I’m
fine.Why wouldn’t I be?”

**********

When she got back to the station
the next day, she learned Kid was out on another run, some errand with Teaspoon.There was only one conclusion she could
reach.He was avoiding her.Shoulders slumped, she completed her chores in
silence.At supper, she spent more time
pushing her food around her plate than eating.Immediately afterward, she headed back out to the barn.

“He hates me,” she told
Lightning, barely holding back the sobs that wanted to tear their way out of
her chest.“It’s over.I ruined everything.Me and that stupid dress!”

Suddenly, she knew what she had
to do.Tearing out of the barn, she ran
across the station yard to Emma’s.Without pausing to knock, she burst through the door and headed straight
to the trunk where Emma’d stored her two gowns.She yanked them out roughly, grinning in savage delight as her handling
caused the lace trim on one to tear free.

She moved over to the fireplace
and used the poker to stir the coals into full flame before adding the
dresses.She settled down on her
haunches to watch them burn, along with all her hopes and dreams.She should have known better than to even try.
She knew what she was worth, what he’d
made her worth, as a woman.There was no
escaping her fate.

“Louise?”

An 11 year old Louise looked up from the basket of wet laundry she was
hanging out on the line as Charlotte walked out of the boarding house’s back
door.

With a shrug to herself, Louise waved to Charlotte and returned to her
work.Cathouse or not, this was a good
job and she wasn’t willing to lose it.

“Louise,” Charlotte smiled as she approached.“I was hoping you could find time today to
mend this.”She held up a ruffly
camisole with a piece of lace dangling from the front, half torn off.“It got…damaged… last night and I need it for
a special… dinner … with a client tonight.”

Louise nodded.Charlotte was the
only one who tried to protect her from what really went on in the house.“Just hang it over the end of the line there,”
she smiled at Charlotte.“I’ll take care
of it as soon as I get this laundry hung out.”

“Can I help?” Charlotte asked.

“Sure,” Louise smiled.“Here, take
these pins and use them to clip the clothes to the line while I hold them
up.With both of us working, we’ll get
this done in no time.”

“Then, maybe we can go in and talk Cook into a treat,” Charlotte smiled
back conspiratorially.

It took only a few moments of chatter and laughter to complete the job.Soon, both were headed in to the kitchen.

“Oh, she got a prime catch,” Jewel grinned lasciviously.“He paid off her debt and they went and got
married last night!”

“Man, I wish I could find me a catch like that,” Feather swooned
dramatically.“Someone ta take me out of
this place and love me.”

“How do you know if he loves you?” Louise couldn’t help asking.She rarely spoke when all the women were
gathered together, but this topic had been really bothering her for the last
few months.Her mother had told her
someday she’d find a man who really loved her.But, how could she tell?

“Oh, don’t go fillin’ the girl’s head with that foolishness,” Jewel
interrupted.“That ain’t gonna do her no
good workin’ here.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” Feather muttered.“Remember what happened ta the last laundry
girl?”

“Shush!” Cook hissed forcefully.

Continuing as if she’d never been interrupted, Jewel turned to Louise, “If
he really loves ya, he’ll wanna take ya
upstairs to one of the bedrooms, just like all the other gents.But his kisses and such won’t scare ya or
hurt ya, they’ll make ya feel good.And,
he’ll care about yer pleasure before his own.That’s how ta know he really loves ya.”

“But, shouldn’t I know if a man loves me before I marry him?”

"

Oh, honey, ain’t nobody gonna marry the likes of us that work
here!Leastwise, not if they’re stayin’
in town,” Jewel laughed.“But they can love ya and take care of
ya.It’s only if they’re leavin’ town,
like Josephine’s beau, that they’ll consider one of us good ‘nough ta marry. Just ask any one of those biddies in church on
Sundays.Once a whore, always a whore.”

She’d forgotten who she was, Lou
thought forlornly, watching the dress burn, what she was. Why she'd given up being a girl.

“Lulabelle,” Emma gasped, rushing
over to her from the open door.“What
are you doing?”

She reached out to grab the poker
and try to rescue the dress least burned.Lou grabbed her arm and stopped her.

“Don’t.Let it burn,” she said quietly.“Let it burn.”

“Oh, Lulabelle,” Emma whispered,
choking on her sudden tears.She reached
out and placed a gentle hand on Lou’s shoulder, keeping vigil with her as the
dresses slowly crumbled to ashes.

**********

“Lou!”

Lou ignored Kid’s call as she
continued on her way to the barn.She’d
been spending more and more time out there the last week.Even after Kid had gotten back with Teaspoon,
she’d kept avoiding him.If he didn’t
want to talk, that was fine with her.She didn’t think she could survive the discussion anyway.

With a gulp, she let it all out.“I stepped out with Tyler.DeWitt.I didn’t mean to. It just sorta happened. But I did.And then he kissed me and... and I kinda liked it.But he scared me, too.And I didn’t know what ta do.By the time I figured it all out, it was too
late.Then ya had ta come rescue me like
some idiot girl!”

Kid moved closer to her, not yet touching
her, quite.“Aw, Lou,” he sighed.“I wish ya hadn’t stepped out with him, or
kissed him, but it was the lyin’ that made me mad.It ain’t like we’d made any promises ta each
other.”

Lou leaned her head against the corral
fence, still looking down at her feet.“Maybe
not in words, but the way we been… actin’… they were promises to me.And I broke ‘em.I’m sorry.I shoulda been honest with ya.

Tentatively, she looked up at
him.Kid kept his hands on his belt buckle as he
stared down into her eyes for a long moment.

“I don’t know,” he finally said
softly. “You needed somethin’ and I was
blind to it.Won’t happen again, I
promise.”

Thinking about everything he’d
done for her, time and time again, Lou almost cried as she broke eye contact
with him. “I owe ya a lot.”

“You don’t owe me nothin’,
Lou.Louise.”

At that, she looked back up into
his eyes and laughed at his attempt to use her full name. Lou smiled.

“Yes. I do,” she insisted.She reached one hand out to grab onto the top
rail of the fence, turning her body to face Kid full on. “I never realized how much ‘til now.”

He smiled down at her and
shrugged bashfully.She couldn’t resist,
closing the short distance between them to lean up on tiptoe and kiss him on the
cheek.His grin widened.As she pulled back he followed her to press a
real kiss to her lips.She could feel
her heartrate picking up as he reached an arm around her shoulders.Forgetting that Teaspoon might come out at
any moment and discover them in flagrante delicto, she leaned into the kiss,
reaching up to wrap her arms around Kid’s shoulders, one hand tangling in his
hair.It felt so comfortable to be
pressed up against his chest with nothing between them.

This was how it should be, she
marveled, even as she pressed herself closer into the kiss and enjoyed the
melting sensation that moved through her entire body.His kiss slowly moved from her lips, along
her jaw to her ear, causing a tingle that she could feel all the way to her
toes.Then, he began whispering in her
ear.

“But, I don’t want to leave
things unspoken between us anymore. Louise.Will you be my sweetheart?No
more stepping out with other men?Even
accidentally?”

The Author

Who am I? A Hispanic broadcast journalist, current host of Kansas Week on KPTS, and certified high school teacher, a writer and lifelong lover of all things historical, particularly the Old West. I'm married to a wonderful man from Germany and we have a 17 yr old son. We have two rescued cats and a rescued pooch, who thinks she's a 70 lb lapdog. I'm prone to talk about anything and everything that catches my interest.