Ok, this is probably something that you've already thought of and i'm sure everyone reading it is going to say "duh" but when Anne does that, I always give her a choice. Especially the hand holding thing. She has to hold my hand in a parking lot. She has to. Period. So when I reach for it and she's in a mood I say either hold hands or mommy can hold you. which one? then she always picks one. We both win. Good luck!