Black helicopters

Thursday, March 8, 2007

Now I really should not be sharing this but when I retire someone will have too carry on the tradition.There are a lot of places where you can be an undercover Ho like adult bookstores, public restrooms, sex clubs and bars. I prefer sex clubs, to be exact bathhouses. They have a natural ambience for sex and it is really easy to be an undercover Ho in one. There are certain rules of etiquette that you must adhere too. You must never assume that just because someone is there that they want to fool around with you. You must never grab a person’s private regions in a public place. There are specific places where groping is permitted, the maze, hot-tube and the steam room. You are never to assume that just because you are near a person they are attracted to you. You must look for those subtle signs like the accidental brush of a hand or one of those come-hither looks. Then if you are mutually attracted to the person you can proceed. I for one am not really into the whole public sex thing; I prefer a more private setting. I always get a room so I can get busy in private and hide if necessary. Now there are several ways to attract a partner and I have used a few of them with great success. There are several ways to make your self-available for a partner. You can hang out in the hot tube and strike up a conversation with a possible prospect. Or just assume a seductive pose in the hot mist of the steam room. You can take a long and seductive shower. You can lay in a seductive pose in your room and someone will take the bait. The only problem is whether you want what you have attracted. If you have attracted some undesired attention you can simply say no thank you and they will generally move on. But on the oft chance that your polite no thank you does not suffice you may be forced to be rude to them. I for one do not like to be mean but sometimes it is necessary. There have been times when I have been forced to hide from some persistent men who would not take no for an answer. It can be funny at times and scary at other times. Some guys come up with the weakest pick up lines and it just makes me laugh. One guy told me “Baby I would drink a tub of your bath water” so me being the funny person that I am, got a straw from the snack area and gave it to him and pointed him too the hot tub. Now I am not trying to say that I am a sex god, but it is my motto too look your best and you will attract good-looking men. Here’s another rule if you don’t find someone who you find attractive don’t settle and don’t get upset it’s not the end of the world. Most of these places have a high turnover and if you are patient “Mr. Right now” is just around the corner. There are plenty of things to keep you entertained in the mean time you can lift weights in the gym, watch TV, watch a good porn movie, soak in the hot tube or take a steam. On my last visit to the club, we’ll just call it “Jacuzzi Beach” as I do not want to reveal the real name of the club, it was on a weeknight and it was very relaxed. It was kind of quiet, not like the weekend when the place is full of tweaked out circuit boys. You could have a really nice conversation with someone or just chill. I happened to run into a couple of friends there and we hung out together and we all had a good time just chatting about what’s new in our lives. I did meet a couple of hot guys there as well. On rare occasions you can go there and meet someone and end up becoming “good friends with benefits”. That is the rare exception though most guys are there because they are just trying to escape their humdrum lives and get their rocks off or their boy/girl friend is out of town. Oh and yes I have met many “straight/bisexual” men there. I have also cold busted a few guys who act all “straight” and are married as well. But I use the utmost discretion and have never divulged their secrets. This is a secret world and only those who have been there can understand. Now this is not a place for everybody and it can be really scandalous at times. Now I am not going to go into the messy details this time that may come later. I will just leave you with this message always play safe and you can play again. This is Elmysterio and I’m out.