Not just snow: Tube strikes, alien invasion, nuclear apocalypse… anything that means you don’t have to go in today.

3. You do the bare minimum, and nothing more

You’d never do a bad job, but you’re not trying to get noticed for your awesome performance either.

4. You’re out the door at 5 o’clock

Overtime? Ha ha ha, no.

Can I leave yet? (Picture: Getty)

5. You spend most of your day working on your CV

Or browsing jobs websites.

6. Your friends have started to avoid you

Everybody bitches about their job from time to time, but you do it for entire evenings.

7. You don’t feel too good

Mental health and physical health are linked, and it’s well known that stress can make you feel physically bad.

8. You’re eating too much crap

And drinking too much wine. And when did you last go to the gym?

9. Your snooze button is worn through

Remember when you used to jump out of bed at the very first beep?

At least you have lots of time to spend on Facebook? (Picture: Getty)

10. You do more Facebooking than fact-finding

Or whatever other pointless activity you’re supposed to be doing.

11. You’d rather eat your own hair than go to a work do

Mainly because you’re scared you’d drink too much and say what you really think.

12. You can’t think of a single thing that’s interesting about your job

Every job has its dull bits, but there are usually good bits too. Can’t think of any? Time to move on.

13. You’ve fantasised about doing acts of great violence to at least one co-worker

But how will you sneak a wood chipper into the office?

14. You live for the weekend

Never mind seize the day: you seize every second from 5pm on Friday until the wee small hours of Sunday morning. Work is something to endure between those beautiful, beautiful weekends.

15. Your eyeballs are vibrating

You have wine at night to help forget the day at work, then all the coffee the following morning to undo the damage the wine did.

16. The future looks awfully like the present

And not in a good way. You don’t imagine glittering prizes or valuable promotions. Just more of the same.

Portaloo cleaner vacancy? I’m interested (Picture: Getty)

17. Every other job looks more attractive than yours

Deodorant company armpit sniffer. Crime scene cleaner. Rock festival Portaloo cleaner. You don’t recoil in horror any more. You just wonder what the pay’s like.

18. You’re reading this

Nobody who loves their job reads articles about hating their job. Maybe it’s time to find something more suited to your talents, something that’ll have you jumping out of bed on Monday mornings like a kid at Christmas.

Or at least, something that won’t have you making voodoo dolls of your boss.

You’ll spend around one-third of your life at work. Why spend it being miserable?