I loaf you

Sometimes I get so fed up I want to throw my handmixer in the fryer and watch the little bubbles of demise engulf my not so beloved appliance. To never look at another rolling pin, cookie cutter, or unfinished lopsided gingerbread house, ever again. (<<— right, getting straight to the point here)

I think my problem is I’m an extremist. Either I go all out, or don’t do it at all… particularly with baking, because it takes hours upon ends sometimes, and it’s just like @#$%^?! WHY BOTHER. Thinking about it positively, I have learned a vast amount of things compared to what I knew how to do before (evaporate water, burn holes in things, give people salmonella poisoning).. Maybe I should start keeping tabs on all this, so when I’m really demoralized I can look back and mope about not putting all that info to good use. Anyways, sometimes I need to take a break from all the other bullshit I’ve been trying to get down and do something that I “know”. I didn’t really “know” how to make bread, but I’ve seen pizza dough made literally hundreds of times (raised by hobarts), and it was on my to-do list before moving to get bread making down, and dough is dough (right?).

So this is what I did last night, today, and will probably do tommorrow. I don’t really get why people say/think it’s that hard, because it’s really…not. (unless you consider watching a colorless glob assimilate into a slightly more recognizable beige mass challenging) I guess not everyone has a dough hook on hand, and I can’t really talk because I did use the mini-hobart. I think it’s about knowing the dough. What it looks like, feels, etc. Once you have that down, you should have atleast the slightest sense of what to do. I think. :P. (now every bread I make will be cursed with a plague) This is the kind of thing I like to do, less painstaking detail, more fluid action. Now what’s really perplexing is how nobody has said anything about the loaves currently basking in the limelight; I’m waiting for someone to punch through the side wall like kool-aid man and belt out HOLY SHIT I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR A PIZZERIA TO START SELLING REAL CINNAMON SWIRL BREAD. :|…

The loaf on the right is chocolate marble bread, and the loaf on the left is cinnamon roll bread, from the slightly mutilated (mostly my fault) best recipe on my dad’s bookshelf. The chocolate marble bread was too sweet for my tastes, probably because I used semi-sweet chocolate.. so next time I make it I’ll probably use some bittersweet. What next…. biscotti?