What say we about Vanderpump Rules except that these girls are seriously a mess. How any of them can possibly have boyfriends is a straight-up mystery to me.

Taking a break from Stassi Schroeder's ridiculous Jax Taylor entanglement – albeit a brief six second break – we are treated to the terminally insecure and immature Kristen Doute on a girlfriend tantrum bender.

Apparently everyone in LA is a part-time Sur employee and a maybe model/maybe hooker and they often live together and hook up. And sometimes when six degrees of Sur happens they run into each other at amateur staged for Bravo TV modeling shoots. Such would be the case with Kristen and boyfriend/concealer lover/musician/maybe hooker bedding Tom Sandoval.

Oh, Sean Lowe works out? I almost forgot. While glistening with sweat and annoying homely husbands across America, the Bachelor shares, "One week into it, I find myself really digging a lot of women." Only Sean knows which ones but the possibilities include Sarah, Kacie, Desiree, AshLee, Lindsay, Robyn, Jackie, Lesley, Selma, Catherine, Kristy, Leslie, Tierra, Taryn, Daniella, and Amanda. One of these women could (but probably won't) be Sean's future wife.

Chris Harrison arrives on the scene of the crazy to deliver the first date card. It's addressed to Lesley and reads, "How long will this love last?" Lesley is excited and goes on and on about dreams coming true and taking her relationship with Sean to the next level.

Sean brings Lesley to the Guinness World Records Museum. Lesley isn't too impressed, saying, "I'm thinking, um, this could be fun, but if I could have picked any place… I really didn't think we'd be coming to the Guinness World Records." Poor Lesley… a waste of a good (albeit way too short) dress is always tragic.

We are now officially ten episodes into this season of Teen Mom 2, and I worry that there is no end in sight. All of the girls seem to be mirroring each other's behavior. Jenelle Evans moves, then Leah Messer moves. Jenelle drops out of school, Leah drops out of school. Kailyn Lowry gets a new place, Chelsea Houska wants a fenced-in backyard. I guess I should be glad that they are all pretty interchangeable, right?

Kailyn has decided against moving to Texas to be fair to Jo. He is excited to hear that she plans to stay in Pennsylvania. She informs him that when her lease is up, she plans to look for another home about twenty minutes away. Does Jo minds driving twenty minutes back and forth to see his son? Um, I think Jo is glad that he doesn't have to travel back and forth to Texas! While Jo has Isaac, Kailyn decides to go bowling with Gigi and some of her friends. Kailyn is paired up with Gigi's friend Javi, and she thinks he's really cute…cute enough to marry?

Last night the ladies of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills continued arguing, battling, passive-aggressively sniping, and being fake to each other. They all need some hobbies.

Things begin back in the Moroccan restaurant of horrors. If you can imagine things got even more atrocious. As if Mauricio Umansky whining and shrieking at Brandi Glanville wasn't bad enough, then Taylor Armstrong started with the drunk histrionics.

I think Camille Grammer said it best: "Taylor, nobody cares. We've already heard your story." This time Taylor's drunken syrupy gaze blurriedly turned towards Yolanda Foster who is apparently a bad, bad, bad person because she's married to a rich man and doesn't act like an ass every single minute. Maybe Taylor should do master cleanse. It can't hurt and it's probably better than the wine cleanse she's been doing for the past couple years.

Taylor makes some threats about how she knows what really goes on with David Foster as one her "best friends for twenty years" was married to him. She's referring to Linda Thompson. And if you recall when Taylor arrived at Yolanda and David's home the man married to one of her best friends for a zillion years had no idea who she was. It wasn't all wine and roses then either, was it Taylor. Well it was all wine…

Kardashian gossip is getting hard to keep up with…that's for sure. Is Bruce Jenner fighting dirty when it comes to divorcing Kris Jenner? Would he potentially purposely hurt his step-children in the process by outing Khloe Kardashian's "real" father? (I still think that's a silly rumor though). There is so much to speculate when it comes to this family, and heck, I wouldn't put it past Kris to have planted all of these stories herself to keep her family's names in the media.

Of course, she's not the only one who is getting her name out there. Kanye West's ex Brooke Crittendon is speaking out about his relationship with Kim Kardashian. The AAAM (aspiring actress and model) dated the tiny rapper from 2004 to 2006, but now she's coming forward in an interview about Kimye is so perfect for one another. Let's start with that!

I'm still not sure how I feel about this new group VH1 has pulled together for the new season of Love & Hip Hop. Some seem incredibly boring, while others (cough, coughErica Mena) are too over the top. Speaking of, Erica was still keeping it classy on last night's episode. She's meeting with Lore'l to discuss they're beef from last week. Erica doesn't like how she ganged up with Rich Dollaz. Lore'l doesn't understand why Erica is so proud of her craziness. Erica tries to pretend that the record was Lore'l's idea, and then she claims to have asked Lore'l to make her relevant.

Consequence is a practicing Muslim, and he and Jen Bayer are raising Caden to be Muslim, but Jen isn't sure she's ready to jump on board. Cons wants the family to pray together, and Jen hopes that they can expose Caden to some of the Christian traditions she participated in as a child. Religion is very important to Cons, and he is counting on Jen to start learning about Islam and his spirituality.

Yandy Smith's little Amir is so precious. Mendeecees and Yandy discuss their relationship, and he is proud of himself for curing his wandering eye. He wants to be a family man now. Mendeecees wants the family to move to a bigger place, but Yandy doesn't want to move because her mom lives upstairs. She thinks her living situation is stable, and Mendeecees has been anything but until recently. Yandy wants to make sure that they are on the right track before they take that next step.