7. Bob Saget

If you know ‘80s TV, then you’re painfully aware of how ripe Bob Saget is for the ruthless comedic mindset. The only reason Bob Saget isn’t higher on this list is that, like Ryan Seacrest, he’s too easy a target. As Greg Giraldo put it, “Bob Saget is a genital wart on the cock of American culture.” Be that as it may, this roast features a savage yet predictable onslaught of Olsen jokes. The crudest comes from Gilbert Gottfried, and it goes like this: “Mary-Kate and Ashley walk into a bar. They say to the bartender, ‘Give us two asshurts.’ The bartender says, ‘How do you make an asshurt?’ The Olsen twins say, ‘Well, Bob Saget hands you a chocolate milk that he just made, and you wake up three hours later, lying on your stomach with your pajamas around your ankles.’” Yikes.