ASMR???

In an obscure and bizarre corner of the interwebs that honestly, was so fascinating, I couldn’t look away.

Nothing seedy — get your mind out of the gutter. Just straight up strange.

It was Thursday night, 11pm, I was just doing nothing before going to bed. I had read a Buzzfeed article which led me into the deep unknown.

It led me into the world of ASMR.

For those of you, who, like me, thought this was some sort of medical jargon for an upper respiratory breathing machine, let me be the first to inform you — it is most certainly not that.

It stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. Or in other words, the “shivers” or “tingles” you get in your brain when you hear a particularly pleasant sound.

Not everyone gets these said “tingles.” — I for one, definitely do not. But apparently, people do, because there is a huge hidden ASMR community online.

And they post videos — with tens of millions of views — of them eating with these suuuuper high quality, expensive microphones, capturing every saliva smack, and satisfying crunch. Or they’ll post videos of them tapping different random objects. Or scratching different things. All to create pleasant sounds.

I spent twenty minutes listening to this “ASMR Celebrity” – LifeWithMaK — eat honeycomb. And then I snapped out of it and thought, What the heck am I doing with my life right now?!

And look, I get it – a lot of people find it soothing, and it is said to help reduce anxiety, or help people fall asleep. So look — if that is your cuppa tea…more power to ya!

But as I was sitting there watching this random chick crunch pickles into the microphone, something suddenly became very apparent to me….

Are we afraid of silence?

Are we afraid of being alone with our thoughts? Are we frightened of having time to reflect — on our existence? On our life and our choices? On God?

We fill our minds and our ear buds with so much noise, that we’re making it impossible for God’s gentle whisper to be heard. And we’re doing so willingly! To the point where we’re literally choosing to listen to people chew! so as not to be left alone with our own thoughts.

The whole situation left me unsettled, and frankly, a little weirded out.

So I cleared my browser history.

But going about my week, I didn’t think about this until Sunday evening, when I was sitting in church.

Because wouldn’t you know — the gospel reading was about the miracle of Jesus making the deaf man hear.

And sitting there in the pew, I couldn’t help but think about my little run in with those bizarre ASMR videos.

Whenever I hear one of these iconic stories from the bible, I always like to picture myself in the story with Jesus. I mean, that’s probably because I’m a raging narcissist and need to work of self-awareness. Too much?? I digress.

I was imagining myself as the deaf man.

And I think that when we hear these stories from the bible, we can fall into the trap of taking them too literally.

You and I aren’t deaf. So, great story bro…but how’s it relate to me??

Well here’s the unpopular truth:

In actuality, we are all deaf.

We all have some sort of “block” in our ears that impede us from hearing God’s Voice. We all have so much noise in our lives — be it the media or music we’re injesting. Or the fast pace of our lives. Our busyness. Our fears. We’ve created lives and a society where silence is a scarcity!

But it made me realize how rare it is to just be quiet. To put yourself in a situation where God doesn’t have to compete with a podcast, or with the TV, or with a person freaking chewing on honeycomb!

God doesn’t shout at us, because He want us to want Him. He want us to seek Him out — He’ll never be overbearing or aggressive with making His presence known — even though He’s always there.

This was honestly one of the biggest parts of my recovery from anorexia.

I had spent those years in my disease absolutely blocking out His voice. My mind was always racing with suffocating, obsessive thoughts about food, or exercise, or keeping the deception going. I never sought Him out…until that one life changing day at Inpatient, that I went into great detail about on the Among the Lilies Podcast last week, and that I share about in my book, Bloom.

But it was that one day that I realized that I absolutely cannot recover without Jesus. And I had to actively — every single day — show up at the foot of the Cross and place my life — place my recovery — in His hands. And to take His hand, and walk with Him along every step of the often terrifying and difficult journey.

I made it, because Jesus was walking me – and oftentimes carrying me – through it.

Maybe that’s what I need to pray for tonight — that Jesus literally stick His finger in my ear and clear out all the gunk that can accumulate from time to time — all the negativity or self doubt, anxiety, busyness, and noise — and open my ears.

Because at the end of the day…His voice is the best, most soothing remedy we can get. And it definitely beats a gal chomping on a cruciferous vegetable.

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The silence of the Desert is a beautiful thing isn’t it? I hear that same nothing just outside of Las Vegas. Lovely. I have never heard of this ASMR thing. I’m getting just a bit older have come to appreciate those quiet moments. Great post Caralyn! 😎

Well said! And, yes, I think we, as a society do tend to be so busy with things and with watching tv, listening to music, watching videos, searching Facebook or Pinterest, that it prevents God from being able to speak to us. But, if we’re willing to listen and allow Him to speak, He will. … even if that means laying your head down on a pillow and God’s word playing through your mind and heart and then feeling so moved that you just start praying and can’t stop and end up spending time with Him until 6am in the morning, like I did last night. It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one who has noticed how nice it is to have some silence. I hope it helps you to know you’re not the only one either. Thanks for sharing!

I totally agree. When you talk to God there’s a peace which can be given by the world. I talk to God every night and I even feel his embrace. I fall asleep and jump up the next morning wondering when I fell asleep, lol! God is an amazing snuggle buddy! 🙌🏼

I’d actually hate that, I have difficulties with my hearing, there is also alot of sounds that agitate me, or causes discomfort to me, so quiet is a great friend to me unless I’m distracted by different thoughts.

I wonder if there’s a similar thing to ASMR but with touch, because I love the feeling of things against my skin 🙈😂 like different fabrics like carpet s and rugs and linen 🙈😂

I don’t think you’re a narcissist for putting yourself in the biblical story but following in the tradition of St. Ignatius. I posted a guided meditation last year that helps people put themselves in the story and talk with Jesus.

God had taken me through a rather extreme desert trek since around 1998, a Job experience second to none. I seriously should put it in a book when He gifts me with a laptop again.

During all this time, He put me on a dune at the edge of a milkwood forest. Very much secluded. And I learned that my beloved gospel music, MW Smith, Don Moen, Silverwind, PETRA, all these popular artists who make great music …. could DEAFEN the silent voice of God. I loved your post, especially this bit:

Thanks, every prayer welcome and much appreciated. We are in South Africa but our nearest neighbours seem to be in the USA, as that is where our WordPress “church” and “neighbours” are praying for us. Visit my blog for some background.
Thanks again, every prayer really, really welcome. Love in Jesus. 💮🌹

I used to like need the television on as background noise. I grew up in a family of seven people, quiet was never a thing, so when my husband deployed the first time I could only fall asleep with the television on. Fast forward to eight years and three kids later, I LOVE SILENT MOMENTS! lol

Amen , Amen and we need eye silence and touch silence and smell silence and taste silence. Silence and stillness. It’s so rare but so important. Thanks for the image of Jesus putting his finger into all our ears, nice and waxy but raw enough to hit home. Thanks Caralyn, so encouraged by this post. Lots of love, L

Ugh…honestly, the sound of people chewing, smacking, even kissing is pretty revolting to me. I’d much rather block it out. 🙂 I spend most of my days immersed in silence, but that’s not quite the sound I’d want to break the silence.

I so happy your post came up in my feed tonight ! My daughter and I were talking about how some or okay a lot of people these days cannot handle the quietness of just being with them self’s okay a bit different from your post but then similar because yes people are constantly taking in noise to avoid what quietness could bring them ., hope that made sense . But your post brought such great points up and my daughter and I conversation . Hugs to you as always 🙂

Caralyn, I can relate to filling my time with mindless things and being deaf to the still small voice. So enjoyed your post and the comparison to the deaf man, having his ears, unblocked. Jesus is always so practical. Thank you for sharing. Love and hugs!

I have in the past listened to ASMR and really enjoyed it. With headphones on I totally had shivers! 😆But you are absolutely correct. It’s like we’re scared of silence, scared of our thoughts, so we distract with tv, phones, reading, iPads. Silence is a beautiful thing. A sacred thing. Being still, being present in that moment and looking within within can be incredibly peaceful. 🙏🏼😌

This is such an interesting post to me, for two reasons. The first being, that I totally agree with you that we as a society need to unplug sometimes. It’s like we’re deprived of silence, and don’t know that we need it. As I write this, I’m sitting in my kitchen late at night eating dinner (this is what happens when I have evening shifts at work haha), listening to the sounds of the crickets outside, the hum of the electric lights overhead, and the silence of my family sleeping upstairs. However, I have also scrolled through my social media while eating. You make a really cool point, that with all of the distractions going on, how can we hear God? (I recently got engaged, and this is definitely one of my fears; that my fiancee and I can’t hear God’s direction in this time in our lives.) I also really like how you draw on your experience hiking the El Camino this summer, to illustrate the power of silence. Some of the most profound, and holy, silences I have ever experienced have been while hiking in Scotland and Iceland, and looking at incredible views in Italy, being in awe of all that God has made. Silence is so important, and I think we experience the full power of God in silence when we are surrounded by His creations.
The second reason that I find this post so interesting, is because I am a part of the ASMR community. I have been watching the videos for almost three years now, and I started an incredibly small YouTube channel, catering to these videos about a year and a half ago. ASMR is still relatively unknown in most circles, but it has grown significantly since I started watching. There is actually research being conducted on the phenomena as well, with many of the studies concluding that ASMR is the body’s natural relaxation mechanism, that certain aspects of the videos (sounds, visuals, etc.) can trigger the part of the brain that stimulates relaxation. (Here is a good article with one of my favorite creators: https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-south-yorkshire-44533297.) Not all ASMR is for everyone; for example, I am not a fan of the videos you stumbled onto. Those sounds don’t relax me at all- they actually make me feel anxious and uncomfortable; however, the sound of papers being ruffled, or the pages of a book being turned, or even the sound of the rain help calm me into sleep. A lot of people suffering from anxiety, and even depression, have found a lot of relief and calmness in the videos. I could ramble on about this, as AMSR has been helping me sleep and relax for quite some time; its become rather dear to me haha!
I hope this helps ASMR make a bit more sense to you, and I apologize for writing so much!

Thank you so much for this terrific insight. I’m so glad that ASMR has been helping your sleep and relax! That’s so awesome. Sounds can definitely be powerful. So glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

Good luck with the engagement if that is the Good Lord’s plan for your life. One bit of advice from a man whose wife and daughter left him 2 months ago: if you are eloquent with words on paper, great. But your new wife will slowly develop feelings of jealousy and insecurity if you fail to put just as much effort into communicating with her vocally.
It might take months or years, but it will happen…
Let your voice, even if you don’t like your voice, be the comforting sound that breaks the monotonous silence of her own existence. Let it not be an annoyance when she needs good quiet time.
Your job will be to know the times to speak and the times to refrain. Balance this with your writing–in smooth rhythm, and you are good to go.BTW: three and a half plus of intense solitude can be good for the spirit, but the spiritual man is mad, so fund good balance of yin/yang and prosper.
Our society needs cultural and economic revival; otherwise we will have inadequate time to prepare for the inevitable demolition of our present civilization.

Wish to tell you that your wrttings are so full of the wisdom only God can reveal to your heart. Thank you for refreshing wisdom and understanding in the knowledge of him. I can see your heart is so connected to Abba. 💫

Silence…I heard this a while back about our media saturated culture:
When was the last time you had an original thought?
How would you know?

Of all the spiritual disciplines, the first one is silence, without which all the others are impossible. In our American Christian culture, this especially applies, with Christian radio and streaming worship songs and sermons. how about we abandon all that and just wait for God to speak? Or is that too scary?

sorry, I got a little preachy but the constant noise we fill our lives with drowns out that still small Voice, including in church.

A time comes in our lives in which an important question comes in front of us: what comes first? – God or the world? – we run after the pleasures of the world, we run from one wish to another to grasp a little happiness (but this all is a mere copy of the soul – soul is permanent happy, but mind is not – mind copies) for a short time. Seeking pleasures of the world is in fact a self pleasing matter, it points to our ego – what is love? God is love and love knows sacricfice and giving without wanting anything in return (like the sun that shines to everyone, to good and bad people without making any difference or comparation), is not self pleasing but is always in a state of pleasing others, to be of welfare to others – therefore love is also service to man, service to land, serve to God – we are deaf and blind, we do not hear sound with which we are all conected: the sound of love, the inner light of God – but we rather listen to our own ego and run after the pleasures and wishes of the world. May God put His finger into our ears: that it will be opened, that we can hear the music of the spheres, can hear the music of love – may God open our eye, our Single eye (as put in the Bible) to see the glory of God, not of the world, which is just dust and Maya. In this way even a blind person can see the light, the love of God and even a deaf man can listen to the ringing inner bells. We search our happiness outwardly, but our real happiness can be found within…

Thank you so much, for sharing your thoughts and words about this important subject.

Proverbs 18:15
The mind of the prudent acquires knowledge, And the ear of the wise seeks knowledge.
Romans 10:17
So then, faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of Godhttp://www.romans10seventeen.net

I loved your recent blog. It’s so true that we are afraid of silence. We don’t know how to sit in stillness, we seem to be a society with constant noise, I’m one of them.
When I spend time with God, I’ve always have music in the background. Scripture says, be still and know that I am God. How many times have we missed Gods voice. I wonder! That should be my next blog. Well done on your article

Love this. I can recommend listening to the audible Bible particularly the NIV version read by David Suchet(aka Poirot). We are trying to work out the technology to have it playing in the background at home. Fill your ears with The Word. The Bible says “HEAR the WORD of the LORD”

Whatever noise fills our lives, I think the most important thing is to seek God in all things because God is present in the silence and in the noise. It is the act of “seeking” that makes the difference.

I’ve been trying to practice quietness while I pray. Carving out a solid chunk of time, with 4 kids, isn’t easy, but haven’t a time of silence during prayer has completely changed my prayer life! Not that silence in other points of the day aren’t encouraged, too, but they are less frequent with little humans to chase after, so I have to make time!

My ex blares his TV and car radio. I’ve always said it’s to drown out his guilty conscience. But I was listening to an old Joe Rogan podcast yesterday, and he offered another reason that my ex and others can’t handle silence: loneliness. Considering all the Psychology Today articles about people being lonelier than ever, it’s possible/probable.

I recently saw a YouTube video on this. Like you, I didn’t see the attraction. In fact, the noises on many of these recordings are like fingernails on chalkboard. However, you’ve made a very perceptive point. Namely that the silence, when it comes, is frighteningly pronounced!

You’ve made a very perceptive point here, and I’ll riff on it for a few, to share with you. First, I often have trouble sleeping. I keep a soft light on in the bedroom, because when I wake up in the night, not being able to see my surroundings makes me feel claustrophobic. I often sleep part of the night on the couch, watching a random YouTube video as I finally fall asleep.

So my problem is one of claustrophobia, whether of space or – how can I describe it? – being trapped in my head. Or sometimes my brain just won’t stop pinging around and I need to give it a focus. Talking to others I hear the same sort of story. Is it age?

Then you mentioned Utah and hiking. It reminded me of a book I wrote a 23 part series on: DNA; Pirates of the Sacred Spiral. The book talks about how researchers have discovered that our helical-shared DNA is not primarily about reproduction. It is shaped the way it is because it’s an antenna, a transceiver to pick up the vibrations of the world to keep us healthy. The author wrote that it is how we hear the symphony of love God wrote for us, that His universe plays to us. With billions of DNA antennae in our bodies, we’re like a big, walking antenna to pick up God’s “channel.”

We are bombarded by all kinds of unhealthy vibrations; appliances, TV’s, cell phones, radio and television signals, and even just plain noise. On the trail in Utah all you and your friends really picked up was God’s symphony to you.

ASMR? Maybe it’s people trying to shut out the unheard noise of society. Maybe it’s trying to shut out the pressures of work and life that so occupy us. I can remember days decades ago when work did not consume people the way it does now, when life was about living and not about the pressures we see today. So, circling back to your point, affirming it from a different direction, we have too much noise on so many frequencies! It drowns out God’s “still, small voice” described in 1 Kings 19:12

Hey Jeff! Thank you for sharing this. I always love hearing your thoughts. Yeah it is definitely hard to turn off the brain at night. I love that idea of dna antenna. So true! Hope you’re having a great weekend Jeff! Hugs to you and Julie! Xox

Took vacation last week. Julie still was working, so I stayed home, ran errands, napped, spent time with Hillary. Feel pretty refreshed this week, so I thank God for that!! I trust you are well. You and your ministry remain in my prayers!

What a wonderful, wonderful post! Powerful testimony, devoid of rhetoric and full of God’s Spirit coursing through the veins of your heart. Yes, “deafness” is a key issue and it took me several additional decades than you to recognize it. Here are relevant thoughts from W.H. Auden, “That is why we despair: that is why we would welcome the nursery bogey or the winecellar ghost, why even the violent howling of winter and war has become like jukebox tune that we dare not stop. We are afraid of pain but more afraid of silence; for no nightmare of hostile objects could be as terrible as this Void. This is the Abomination. This is the wrath of God.”

Aside from the light jazz that i occasionally play at night sometimes while i lay in bed, i NEED that silence after my prayers. I wish i knew why we have grown so much in the custom of needing distraction by visual or audio means. Thank you for making my morning with this post, Caralyn! 🙂

I think you are so right on with people going to any lengths to avoid silence, to avoid thinking too deeply. I just read a book over the summer, called The Nature Fix, which was amazing. I learned that there are only like twelve places in the whole United States that are quiet, free from any man made noise at all, including air traffic, etc. I enjoyed your post! Very thought provoking.

You’re absolutely right. We are afraid of silence. In my case, I used to love it, but having followed God’s call in my life and filling my home with children, silence simply does not happen. I hardly know what to do with it anymore. At the end of the month, however, I’ll be taking a 4 day solo silent retreat. Assuming I can do without the sweet little 2 year old, I think the silence will do me wonders.

There are times I blare the Salsa or Merengue, and there are times, like tonight where I took a secluded walk through the almost empty, quiet campground near my house. We need that plugin of sound at times, but we also need to unplug and let God into out thoughts and hearts. Yeah, Instagram, the land of just pictures, is a funny place. I like sharing there but I like sharing more and conversing with friends like you! xoxoxoxo

I wish we could hit like on sentences within your post. Not that I don’t like the entire post, just maybe one part more than the other. It hit me, your sentence about walking with Jesus, because in my post about the world’s strongest man, he states the same.

I am jealous of your hiking and so much envy it too. Hiking in the mountains has been a passion all my life. My dad introduced me to backpacking in my teen and did it every summer though them.

I wish we could hit like on sentences within your post. Not that I don’t like the entire post, just maybe one part more than the other. It hit me, your sentence about walking with Jesus, because in my post about the world’s strongest man, he states the same.

I am jealous of your hiking and so much envy it too. Hiking in the mountains has been a passion all my life. My dad introduced me to backpacking in my teen and did it every summer though them.

From my perspective it’s funny hearing the reactions of more and more people coming across ASMR now that it has evolved into a commercial, ad-led industry. I don’t mean to detract at all from your overall message about noise – very valid in this day and age – but ASMR is actually a very particular sensation, not just a video genre, and sound is only a small part of it. In fact, I often watch with the sound OFF. Relaxation and sleep are bi-products and a lot of people who don’t experience the ASMR sensation still find the videos help them drift off to sleep. The genre has expanded to cater for this audience, but for me, years ago, I went looking for certain YT clips that I knew triggered the sensation in me, without really knowing what the sensation was, or that it had been given a name. In doing so, I found the ASMR community of film makers who were simply trying to reproduce, on video, the types of real-world scenarios that often trigger the sensation (reiki sessions, hair brushing, head massages, optician exams etc). The early producers were known as ASMRtists because they were extremely talented at triggering the sensation. They achieved enormous viewing figures without the need for the click-baity, cleavage-busting thumbnails the newer “band-wagon” producers have to use. The sensation is very difficult to describe, and different things trigger different people, but when someone says they get a warm and fuzzy feeling when they hear the rain drumming on the roof, chances are they are experiencing ASMR.

As always your blogs say it so well. I have a daughter who I love dearly but I hate going to her house any more because her husband turns the TV on as soon as he gets up and it stays on all day. Many times no one is watching it – it is just on. The noise drives me crazy! I think sometimes we are afraid of silence.

Thank you for this reminder! I have been thinking about this a lot lately, and really been challenged about all the noise in my day-to-day. I am a stay at home mom, and I always have either Netflix on in the background, or music playing, just so that I hear the noise of other peoples voices. And I’ve really ben challenged to sometimes have nothing on, and be left alone with my thoughts and God’s soft, still voice. Thank you for sharing this! Megan xxx

Thank you so much for your article today about our deafness. I’m an alcoholic who has been sober for 18 years. I live in recovery and staying spiritually connected is how I maintain my heath and recovery. What you described is similar to something we talk about often in the rooms of recovery. The sunlight of the Spirit. When we are in our disease we cut off our connection to the sunlight of the Spirit. We are deaf, as you described it. When we partake of whatever substance or behavior to which we are addicted, we shut off the sunlight of the Spirit. I so enjoyed your article. I also want to tell you to look up the Hoh Rainforest. It is “the quietest place on earth.” You will be fascinated.

Thank you so much Lori. I really appreciate you sharing your story. Congratulations on 18 years! That is really something to celebrate. The sunlight of the Spirit — i love that visual so much. I will definitely look up that Hot Rainforest! Hugs and love xox

We are surrounded by white noise! I start my day with a bible study or devotional, journal, and a cup o joe. Had NO idea what ASMR was – crazy. The world is the same as it’s always been, but with technology, there’s more of it all the time. Thanks!

Hi Caralyn:
So important to have peace and quiet at times. We also need quietness from ourselves. By that I mean, disconnecting our mind from the activities of life: work, family, even ministry. We need to really shut everything about ourselves down completely, and invite Holy Spirit to speak to us. Then as well as “hearing” we need to “listen”.
I find I can hear all kinds of things, but truly listening and paying attention is far different.

At times I think we may not want to hear what God is saying, we know it may not be the same as our agenda, and we know what we really “want” to do.

Thanks again Caralyn for your eye opening and ear opening writing. You are certainly a Blessing.

As you Bless and Worship God for Who He is, May God continue to bless you for who you are in Christ.

Neva heard of it. ASMR. I checked the journal papers and a few trials have found it’s relationship to PTSD and its parent, Misophonia. About 15x less common than bipolar which has similar symptoms, a triggered emotional response. Sometimes, symptoms are psychosomatic, you are told you’ll feel a tingle so. You tingle. Different than tinkle which would just, be a mess. Who would want to watch that video?

“His voice is the best, most soothing remedy we can get.” I love this! I think most people are afraid of silence. However, I am not one of those people. I can only sleep in silence and I often sit at home without the tv one. I usually kept my head in a book, bookworm here, lol! I’ve changed as I’ve gotten older but I like silence, but I always considered myself a weirdo. I do know that I need to strengthen my relationship with God and listen closer to what he is saying to me! Thank you for this

Another amazing post Caralyn! I have a hard time with silence, but I always find that just being alone outside in nature (or church) without any other noise helps me hear God the best! And those ASMR videos are kind of creepy. 😶

There is that bit that is probably on YouTube where they go into a totally soundproof room. Once inside, you can actually hear everything you do, including your own body because there is no sound being produced by anything else. Some can’t handle it, but the guy who went in, enjoyed his time in the room…. I need to look that up again.

In the Psalms Gods word says “Be still and know that I am God.” I like to break it down a bit to slow myself down. Be still …. And…. “know that I am God. then, “Be Still and know” “then “Be Still!” then “Be!” Just be. No attachments no noise no music…. just “Be”… Now Be still and you will know that I am God.

I think it was C.S. Lewis, im not sure maybe Smith Wigglsworth, but some long ago preacher said “If you can give me thirty minutes of solitude and complete quiet with any man I will lead him to God.” Silence is Golden, the old saying still holds true, and silence bursts open and destroys a myriad of lies and delusions.

I like your post, I was on instagram also up to the point that I went in for a pacemaker, at that time I quit because i had family members there that I felt were creeping on me rather than showing how much they cared or didn’t care. probably a mistake on my part and I lost a whole lot of photos I wish I still had.

My mom said the same thing about silence and needing to be comfortable with just the sound of our own thoughts. We didn’t listen to the radio often and didn’t have the TV on all the time. The older I get the more I agree…except when it comes to kids; in that case, silence is almost always trouble of some sort.

Well that’s just sad isn’t it? Oh God help us! May we unclog our ears and tune in to hear His voice in Jesus name. Also we must pray to know the voice of God for there are so many other voices that may appear to sound like his but it really isn’t. Discernment is much needed by the Holy Spirit in these last days. Blessings!