Sunday, March 16, 2008

Body

About 10 days ago, my body malfunctioned in an unexpected, blindsiding way. While I realize I am getting older, my body has always been the one thing I could rely on -- I was always strong enough, could do most anything for myself without needing help, able to hold my own in most sports, rarely sick, and most fortunately, blessed with a naturally fast metabolism. Things were effortless, and the physical was one thing I could always count on, able to more or less take daily functioning for granted. I am lucky. REALLY damn lucky.

When something within didn't work the way I thought it would recently, I was stunned. I'm still grappling with the fallout, and inevitable feelings of failure. I feel utterly betrayed by one of the most basic things about me. And while I'll be okay and my inner strength will carry me through, I'm still a bit heartbroken. Facing your own mortality: what a bitch.