Don't: Even Think About It

Kobo ebook | February 13, 2015

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So okay this book called “DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT” is completely scary concerning how a lot of stuff we think we know a lot about we actually don’t? My name is Libby Nickels and i’m totally in the book so i know what i’m saying. Actually i’m like one of the six major principle humans that star in it which i’m not bragging about because i’m not exactly proud of what i did to get to be part of it all. So how this entire nightmare started was probably that one day in class when Bucky Brake and Jenna Riley that are friends of mine heard their teacher Mr. Fazio talk about the giant redwoods in Advanced Biology which they take as a senior honors course (both Bucky and Jenna are way smarter than i am) at Beverly Hills High School where i go too. Mr. Fazio was on and on about how just recently some hotshot tree guy climbed up to the top of this super awesome redwood called Sky Knife and what he found up there to his amazement was a whole secret world of weirdly beautiful creepy insects and birds plus freaky lizards crawling around with like three eyes per person! The reason for those creatures even existing Mr. Fazio informed was that the redwoods are like thousands and thousands of years old and so big! Think okay three entire footballs fields stacked end to end tall!!! and the crotches of their gigantic branches have like over the centuries clogged up with decayed leaves and small decomposed dead things that have all basically turned into dirt by now which then when birds crapped seeds onto them sprouted whole entire other trees like oaks and things such as huckleberry bushes that started being home to strange kinds of life that evolved up there and adapted to spending their complete entire time in the treetops kind of going back and forth from one humongous tree to another humongous tree and never coming down because why should they even bother? So anyway Bucky and Jenna got this awesome idea about what a fun challenge it would be for the three of us plus my boyfriend at the time Nathan Huffnagel who was a freshman football star at UCLA to actually take this way illegal hike and sneak out to the tree and climb it ourselves to see these amazing sights personally. i should warn you that the four of us were extreme sports enthusiasts and that we’d already done amazing things like radical hang-gliding and urban swooping which are all like also technically seriously illegal so illegally climbing a giant redwood didn’t seem all that unusual to us? Or dangerous. Except it should’ve? Okay i don’t want to spoil the story for you by telling you too much about what happened to us up there that night during the gigantic thunder and lightning and wind storm or like how many or which ones of us died or got nearly eaten alive because that’s the book’s job to do. Which in my humble opinion it does awesomely and which is why i based my million-dollar screenplay sale on it and how come the publicity people asked me to write this introduction come-on to get you to download the book if you enjoy being scared shitless and also enjoy a good dark laugh at other people’s expenses for just $3.99 then like it and text about it ! Check out okay just one small chunk here -- "Whatever it was, the repulsive thing opened wide its slimy-sticky-shark-fanged mandibles and, dripping exotic saliva, pumped in and out its three-foot scuzzy ant-eater tongue and spread its grotesque bat wings with a sticky thunder flap to expose huge predator-frightening eye patterns on its bright-red swollen thorax. 'Holy fuck,' thought the boy as he took in the disgusting cauliflower-headed horror. It was big as a tiger, twice as savage, and quite unhappy, snapping its gross walking-stick legs in his face." Wow, huh? So now i hope you get the picture, and i also hope you never have to go through anything in real life as i and my friends did in that tree on a dark stormy night. Like i wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Well, maybe on her i would, but nobody else.