I am an evil giraffe. Who no longer blogs about politics.

Tell the truth, Spratt. You mumble when people ask you which district you represent.

It sounds like that book will get at least one South Carolinian purchaser: Spratt’s campaign manager Wayne Wingate, who is completely behind the idea that Osama bin Laden would receive widespread support from Republicans in SC-05. An opinion that Spratt apparently shares, given that he didn’t immediately turn on Wingate and lay him out on the ground for saying filthy trash like that about Spratt’s constituents.

“If Osama bin Laden ran in this district as a Republican, he would get 38 to 40 percent of the vote in any election year,” says Wayne Wingate, Spratt’s communications director, as he walks alongside the congressman at the festival. “This is a very Republican district. So you’ve got that plus this tea party angst against any incumbent in the world right now.”

In point of fact, Mister Wingate – and Mister Spratt – if Osama bin Laden ran in SC-05 as a Republican somebody would come up to bin Laden and put a bullet in his brain. This does reflect a change from our past methodology of capture and interrogate, but better safe than sorry. After all, since January 2009 there’s been a growing understanding among the American people that the political party running things can’t exactly be trusted with keeping the really bad illegal combatants under wrap.

Hey, wait a second! Isn’t that Spratt’s political party, too? Guess that explains things: he’s trying to cozy up to the netroots. I wonder when he’s having his Code Pink fundraiser…

Moe Lane

PS: I swear, these campaign slogans write themselves. Mick Mulvaney for SC-05. He doesn’t think that you’re all murdering scum.

This is the new meme from the Democrat Party: Republican=Taliban. They are devoid of ideas. They are the party of NO. Between now and November 4 we will see those comments millions of times. It is all they have.

Much as I hate to interfere with anyone’s fun, this strikes me as a pretty standard (if perhaps inartful) riff on the “yellow dog” districts of my youth in Oklahoma, where if the Democrats ran a yellow dog, they’d win the seat anyhow. Out of my own mouth I recall saying (of, IIRC, OK-04, admittedly in 1980mumble) that if the Devil ran as a Democrat he’d do okay as long as he was against liquor-by-the-drink.