Is This Alzheimers?

I don't know where to begin, in 1997 and maybe even before we started to notice that my husbands mother at the age of 63 started to behave strange. She started seeing bugs everywhere(she collected fuzz balls off the floor)could not read or write (we thought something was wrong with her eyes) She went to the eye doctor nothing was wrong. She can not dress herself, cannot dial a phone, among other things. Refuses to bathe.When she uses the toilet she leaves the paper on the counter because she remembers her mother having problems with her toilet clogging. She also does not know her age or birthday. Sometimes when you ask her what she had for lunch she gets nervous because she does not remember. She leaves doors open, on Thanksgiving she could not figure out how to pull her chair into the table. She told me she had sauerkraut at the Olive Garden. She eats the same things over and over, loves butterfingers and does not like alot of the things she used to like.She has gotten lost in her neighborhood, the day I found her she was standing directly across the street from her home looking at it. She has had a MRI nothing. She will not got to the doctor. She knows who we are but I'm not sure she would know if we did not talk. She can carry on a some what normal conversation though. Is this Alzheimers?

Dear Sadie - taking care of an Alzheimer patient can make anyone silly!!

Yes, it sure sounds like Alzheimer or one of the other forms of dementia to me. I cared for my mother with AD for 5 years, and much of your letter describes the way she became. She is now in a good nursing home. In my opinion that is the best solution, but none of them are actually 'good."

Taking care of a dementia patient yourself is such a terrible drain on your nerves, patience, time, money and mental and physical health .. and the worst of it is, as they get worse, they don't even remember that you were there for them. My Mom has no recollection of the 5 years I moved in with her and took care of her. Yet at the time she resented me and once called me her 'jailer' to my sister, when I was unhappy with her going out alone.

She has been in a NH for just over a year now and is losing weight .. no longer interested in food or much of anything else.

Yet she is incredibly old, 98, so I feel I am lucky we had a normal Mom for about 91 years ...

I am the only caregiver to my 82-year old Mom, because the rest of our family is also deceased. She is on oxygen 24/7 and began having memory problems a year ago, we think it's lack of ability to absorb oxygen/expel co2. There are a hundred or more causes of dementia, Sadie, and your MIL sounds to me like she has it. Since 1997? Please have her tested. And please remember that when she says or does something out-of-line, it's an illness, not a reflection of what she thinks of you. I hope you take very good care of your health, you will need your reserves. Dementia is difficult to deal with. You might want to google Alzheimer's to find a support group. And do as I say, not as I do, meaning don't be the only caregiver. (It wasn't my choice)Your husband and any other relatives nearby need to take turns. Relatives too far away can pay for a caregiver to come in once or twice a month to relieve you guys.

Wow....since 1997??? This sure sounds like Alzheimer's to me. Your MIL needs to see a doctor and receive a proper diagnosis. It may be a little late to receive medication that would help because it sounds like she is really in the later stages. Hopefully there is still something that can be done to help her and you family members as well. Good luck to you all.

Thank you everyone for replying. Some have said she could be in the late stages of alzheimers. She lives with my father-inlaw and he is the one that takes care of her needs. It was not until he had surgery over the summer and she had to stay with someone. She stayed with her sister at night and I had her during the day. We did not realize how bad it was. She does not where PJS anymore and does not understand why she should. We bought her some and every morning she would walk around without her top demanding her breakfast. Don't get me wrong she comes off fairly normal to people who don't know her its not until you spend time with her that you realize something is not right. My father-inlaw is in denial. Both her sister and I told him we think she has alzheimers but he won't do anything. We told him that we think he should look into a cottage at place where at some point if you need assistant living they have a place for you ( he is also 73 and has a hard time keeping us with all the work around the house and her) We are all afraid something is going to happen to him and then we will be left to put her in a home.