A definitive ranking of the best women’s restrooms in Cherry Hall

I’m an English major, so Cherry Hall is essentially my second home. It’s got a lot of character and quirks, and I wouldn’t want to spend my days in any other building. Consequently, I’ve become quite familiar with the women’s restrooms in Cherry, and I feel that it is my duty to inform all who frequent this establishment to know which bathrooms are the best and which leave a lot to be desired.

Each bathroom is given a score from one to four, with one being the lowest score and four being the highest. My judgments are based on user-friendliness, appearance and overall experience. Any grievances are certainly welcome.

1. Ground floor

The ground floor women’s restroom isn’t the most aesthetically pleasing bathroom in Cherry Hall. To be quite honest, it’s unquestionably the ugliest. As soon as you walk in, you are greeted by brilliantly bright red floors, sinks that don’t match and a very limited three stalls.

However, there is so much more than meets the eye. The ground floor bathroom has a large stall, which is perfect for fixing any midday wardrobe issues or even changing clothes altogether. The stall has a door that swings outwards (you’ll learn about the importance of that in a moment). There’s also a full-length mirror, which is perfect for checking said wardrobe adjustments.

Though it’s the ugliest, the ground floor women’s restroom is definitely the best.

Rating: 💩 💩 💩 💩

2. Second floor

The second-floor bathrooms don’t have the full-length mirror or the large stall, but they are far more aesthetically pleasing than the bathroom on the ground floor. These stalls are made of wood and marble, in contrast to the metal material used on the ground floor. The stalls are smaller, which makes it difficult to squeeze inside with your backpack. However, two of the stall doors swing outwards to open, which is a major plus.

The second floor bathroom isn’t as user-friendly as the ground floor, but it definitely gets the job done — and in a much prettier environment.

Rating: 💩 💩 💩

3. First floor

The first floor bathrooms are probably the most aesthetically pleasing out of all the bathrooms in Cherry. Everything matches, it’s well lit, and the hustle and bustle of the first floor truly makes it a pleasant environment in which to do one’s business.

However, none of the stall doors swing out. Due to the lack of easily accessible stalls, this bathroom is in the lower half of the list.

Rating: 💩 💩

4. Third floor

At first glace, the third floor bathroom is nearly identical to the first or second floor, but upon closer inspection, there are differences important enough to warrant its extremely low ranking.

The third floor is the philosophy and religious studies floor. As such, it lacks the vibrant hustle and bustle of the ground and first floors, which are inhabited by the spirits of lively English majors brimming with excitement over critical theory and metaphor. Instead, the environment on the third floor is thick with the scent of existential crises and nihilism, and this is a scent that wafts into the bathroom, making this the most depressing pee of your life.