The ramblings of ME.

Category Archives: personal

Today is my birthday. As with any birthday, I have a ton of thoughts going through my head. Am I where I want to be in this life? What are my goals for this birthday year? Is age nothing but a number?

Ironically, I don’t think I have ever been afraid of getting older. I don’t even think I really thought about it. I always thought that as long as I was healthy and had a great quality of life…I’d be happy. I can honestly say that is the case. I don’t feel 44. I don’t even think I act 44. I’m still very young at heart and refuse to let society tell me what I should or shouldn’t do or be at any age. My motto is and will always be, do what makes you happy. I still sing at the top of my lungs in my car. I still dance around my bedroom like I’m 16. Life is good!

So if I had anything so say about this birthday. It is that 44 looks and feels great! I’m living my best life right now. I know that regrets are somewhat unavoidable, but I try to keep them to a minimum by just doing what I enjoy.

It’s no secret that 2016 just was not kind to me. I struggled with every aspect of my life. My year was taken over by someone that was draining every bit of energy and joy from me and it affected me in a huge way.

I am determined to take my joy back this year though and just leave the past behind me. I am ready to try very hard to make some big changes. I want to work harder at keeping up with this blog. My posts this past year was pretty sporadic, so I definitely want to change that. I also want to work more on my fitness. I want to get back to working out 5-6 times a week. A few years ago, I had the best fitness regime and I want to get back to that. I also want to finish redecorating my bedroom. I started that last year, but just stopped toward the middle of the year because I was so stressed about everything else. So now I sit in a half painted bedroom. My new year resolution is always to be happy. I don’t believe that I was last year, so I’m going to work on making that happen this year. With my mom’s house pretty sorted, I feel that I should be able to get back to myself.

Since it is almost Halloween, I decided to make a list of the movies that I could watch that evening. Now, I am not really into horror, so movies like Halloween, It, and Exorcist would never make my list because I could never stomach watching them again. My scary movies are very cheesy but still has a “scary-ish” vibe. So, below are my top 1o “scary” movies in no order.

Gremlins

Practical Magic

Goonies

Critters

Nightmare on Elm Street (1st one only) – The only horror film I can stand.

For those who have been following my life updates regarding my house in another state, here is the final installment. I have finally gotten rid of the trashy tenant. My aunt went to court on my behalf and the tenant showed up as well. She signed an affidavit with the court that she would be out of the house on Sept. 15th. If we had no agreed to allow her to do that, we would have had to go back to court at a later date for an official eviction. I want even go into the stupid eviction laws that allow tenants to stay in your property for such a long time, but anyway she is out.

She actually was not out on the 15th, she was done moving on the 16th which we could have gotten her on violating the affidavit. When we got to the house on the 16th, she had changed the locks to the security doors and we had to get a locksmith there to open up. Yes, I have been bleeding money throughout this entire process. When my aunt got in, that’s when we realized that she had not finished moving out because there was so much stuff still in there. Ironically, she showed up as the locks were being changed and told my aunt that she would have to come back after work to get the rest of her belongings. My aunt told her to just call her and she would meet her there. Of course, my aunt was in bed when she called so told her that she would meet her the next day. The next day, my aunt went there and all of her stuff had been moved out. THEY BROKE INTO THE HOUSE. At this point, I’m over it all. As long as she’s gone, I don’t really care.

So my aunt takes a look at the house and she says it’s really dirty but other than that..it’s ok. Well I got many pictures and the house was a giant mess. There were even holes in two walls. I know that I probably got away luckier than some that it wasn’t worse, but it is still bad. I don’t think they had cleaned the house in years. They left a stove and refrigerator there that was disgusting and smelled. The dust in the place was atleast 2″ high on every nook and cranny. Cobwebs in almost every corner and along the walls. The house now has roaches which we are presently trying to exterminate. It’s been a big mess. The tenant that was going to move in has decided not to move in because of the state of the house…so I’m left with carrying the mortgage myself for even longer.

However, I am at a point where I can move on. Hopefully this is the worst it will ever be. I will take this as a huge lesson and not letting my heart affect my business sense. I should have thrown her out years ago. I know that. I waited to long. It’s a tough lesson learned, but I know now. I won’t make the mistake again.

Thank you for following my little dramatic journey. Hopefully I can now go back to my regularly scheduled programming!

As you have read, I have been experiencing a lot of drama this past few months, so here are a few things that I have learned the hard way.

People use the word “love” so haphazardly. I wonder if they even know the meaning of it.

Many people want to see you fail even if they won’t say it out loud.

Some people only believe in helping others if there is something in it for them.

Family will betray you.

Everyone likes a bit of drama as long as they can watch from the sidelines.

Do not do business with family. This is something that I had always known, but failed to follow through on. Twice.

Even though it’s hard, don’t stoop to a negative person’s level.

Try not to hate. I really see why people can get violent now, but really try to stay above that.

Pray, meditate, exercise….whatever. I’ve had to find things to keep my mind off of everything. Not as bad as when my mom passed and I could only sleep with the t.v. on so that I would stop thinking so much about it..but on a smaller scale.

Don’t dwell on the past or the would have, should haves. Take the situation for the lesson that it was and try no to repeat it.

I decided to write a little update to my original life drama post. Writing about it is a little therapeutic for me. If I don’t write, I will be cleaning like a mad person while trying to clear my mind.

So, when we left, my tenant was going to make me actually evict her because she wasn’t leaving. Well, after speaking to her husband, she came to her senses and agreed to move peacefully but asked if I could give her until August 1st. I agreed. I’m not trying to make her life rough, but I’m trying to stop the financial bleeding that I am going to be experiencing once she leaves. So, the beginning of last week, I reached out to her via text to find out what day she planned on moving. I already have a new tenant moving in August 1st because we all agreed that she would be gone. Well, I did not get a response. On Thursday, I sent another test asking the same and got the response, “Not yet moved out working on it I’ll let you know.” So this had me a little confused because what is she going to let me know? She has to be out by the 1st. So I explain that to her and tell her that someone else is moving in on the 1st. She goes on to tell me that she won’t be gone by the first as if I’m just supposed to say “ok”. Now she is inconveniencing not only me, but the person who has already notified her landlord that she was moving!

So of course, this led to another war of words where she tells me that I didn’t handle the situation like a woman and I should have called her to tell her that I wanted her out instead of sending her a typed letter. People, I have talked to this woman until I am blue in the face about the late payments. She continued to lie and be rude about the payments. As far as I’m concerned, there is nothing more to talk about. So after speaking with many people, I decide to proceed with the eviction process and notify her of that. Although I had the 15 day notices put on her door, I did not mail it so that could have caused the case to be tossed out. So I started over and sent her a 5 day notice, certified. After a week goes by, I can take the notice to the sheriff’s office along with $130 to begin proceedings.

Well after I sent her the text notifying her that I was proceeding and giving my power of attorney to somewhere in the state so that I don’t have to take time off work, she calls me (I don’t answer because I have nothing more to say) and leaves me a lengthy, teary message on how she lost her job and she has no money. Her kids won’t help her out. Now, these grown up kids live with her rent free but supposedly now that she’s in a bind, they are all moving into their own places and she can’t go with! Ummmm…………

Honestly, I feel bad for her situation BUT I cannot afford to let her continue to live there for free! She fails to understand my issue with her staying there and not paying me. She has options that she is not using. There are plenty of people who lose their jobs and have to make sacrifices and swallow their pride and ask for help from people that they may not want to. In my opinion, she has burned so many bridges with people by her crap attitude and lies that no one wants to get involved. But I know she has family and friends. She needs to humbly go to them. I WON’T stop the eviction. I can’t. At this point, I’m already $4500 in the hole which she fails to get through her thick skull.

Anyways, the saga continues. I just want the toxicity of this person and this situation to go away. Its truly ruining my normally peaceful existence.

With all the violence going on in the U.S. right now, it is leading to many arguments, conversations and debates on social media. Today I had a conversation with a family member that made me ask myself what I believe in. I grew up attending Baptist churches and my family is pretty religious so whenever turmoil like this is happening, their first answer is to pray. I do not have an issue with this at all. I think prayer is good. However, someone recently posted that you cannot believe in God if you don’t believe in Jesus. I had to speak up and tell her that Ido not believe that is true. There are many people who believe in God, but don’t believe in Jesus. It does not make them any less religious or any less of a christian. So after having this little discussion, I had to ask myself what do I believe?

I have always considered myself a Christian, however I have also always known that I think differently. I believe in God and I believe in Jesus Christ. I do not believe that God and Jesus are the same. I believe that there is only one God and that Jesus is the son of God. I believe those are two different entities. I may have issues with the bible and its role in our troubled society due to misinterpretation, but I always believed in its truth. Does that now mean that I am not a Christian? I don’t know. But it took me a long time to get to this place with my religious beliefs. I went through a period where I felt that I didn’t belong in that faith.

I now attend a non-denominational church that has the motto Love, Acceptance and Forgiveness. I love everyone. I have friends of different race, different religions, different sex, and different economic background and I love them all. I can accept that they are different than I am and KNOW that they are good people. I refuse to be a part of any group that thinks they are better than another. The only person that anyone will have to answer to is God…whenever they meet him. My job is to love you and treat you with respect as a human being.

Maybe if we all could live by this, this world wouldn’t be so tough. LOVE!