Pages

Me

Us

Our Baby

Design by

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Alive

Wow. Thanks for all the love and support! I've got a reader full of great blogs again thanks to all your comments.

This weekend we headed out to western Maryland for a ski trip with a bunch of our friends. We had a great time. Make that an amazing time. I even went skiing and have a nasty bruise on my leg to prove it. I cooked all the meals for our "family dinners", we played lots of games, watched lots of football, and spent many hours in the hot tub. We also killed more cases of beer than I care to admit, but everyone needs to let loose now and then, right?? Don't worry, I'm detoxing this week.

The best part is that I didn't think about my miscarriage almost the entire trip. I was lying in bed Sunday afternoon after we returned from skiing and realized that I had not thought about miscarrying once. And in that moment when I did start thinking about it, I didn't cry. I just reflected on the fact that it happened, but I wasn't overwhelmed with sadness. As I continued thinking, I actually felt like I was on a trip to have fun, not that I was on a trip to help me forget about everything that has happened. That's an additional crappy thing about going through something traumatic...you are in a daze for a while. You do things and go through life because you have to, instead of actually living your life. I felt alive this weekend. That's progress.

11 comments:

My husband and I had a very crappy, scary health-related thing happen to us this winter. We've been walking around in a daze for months and, this week, we were finally able to pull out of it. I am so happy that you're reaching that point, as well. Welcome back to living life again!

Jackie, I'm so glad you had a wonderful weekend. It's so nice to know that you had some wonderfully happy, healing moments out there on the ski slope (even if they involved bruises!!!). What are your plans for this weekend?

I think sometimes drinking heavily with good friends is 100% the best way to get over something that's been sad or hard in your life. It feels good to just be silly, laugh, and forget your troubles for a bit. I'm happy you were able to do that. As you contunie to heal from your miscarriage, the "fog" will also go away. When you're ready, try again, and hopefully it will be the right time for you. My aunt went through this 7 years ago, and it took her a while to open herself up again. When she was ready, she was blessed with the three kids she now has.