Inspiring lessons that I have learned from couples, whose interfaith weddings I officiated.

Saturday, August 17, 2019

Slow Dance with Me

Saturday morning, I
officiated Chris and Ari’s wedding ceremony at BRIO Tuscan Grille, in Allen, Texas.
Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

I made a false assumption
about Ari. I assumed that his Hebrew name was Ari, which means lion in Hebrew.
He corrected me, and said his Hebrew name was Avraham or Abraham. That,
actually, made more sense to me.

Why do I say that? Well, one
of the things the Ancient Rabbis tell us, by reading between the lines of the
biblical text, is that Abraham was a doer, not a talker. And, in the short time
I have known Ari, that seems like a good description.

(By the way, I say this as
someone who is rarely accused of being too quiet. This might be a
generalization, but clergy do usually like the sound of their own voices...)

When you are a doer, not a
talker, that allows you to slow down a little, take the world in, and even
notice things others don’t. More than that, you can have a profound effect on
those you love.

Just listen to how Chris
describes Ari’s effect on her: “He makes me smile, laugh and makes me think. I
am a feeler and hate to think. He slows me down, when I am mad or lost he
doesn’t have to say a word he just hugs me and kisses my head. My whole
demeanor changes in seconds.”

Now, we are “package deals”
most of us, and so those of us who are quieter and take things slow, sometimes
need a nudge from our loved ones. Ari gets this. He says, “I have many
endearing qualities; my hesitancy is not one of them...”

This makes Ari appreciate
the passion that Chris brings, not only to their relationship, but to the way
she lives in the world: He says that, “she has become my best friend... I
love her smile, how she dances around me, and her spirit of generosity and love
to help others less fortunate than herself...

What Chris and Ari show us
is the importance of balancing each other out, and complementing each other’s
differences, which is core to any lasting relationship.

This is why Chris says, “I
love that no matter where we are or what we are doing, Ari grabs me and starts
to slow dance with me and we are dancing to a song that is not playing but we
hear.”