Thursday, November 01, 2007

Yesterday, reader WM sent us perhaps the greatest single reader-submitted picture in the history of the MZone. NSFW? Folks, this thing is Not Safe For Life!

First, the setup courtesy of WM's email...

"I'm a big fan of your blog and live in Houston, TX. I just traveled up there for the Michigan/Minnesota game, and I wanted to share a pic I took from that game, and more IMPORTANTLY, and picture from Mardi Gras several years ago. I'm wearing a Michigan hat and the rest....well, the rest explains itself! Thought you may be able to use the Mardi Gras pic for some lighthearted comedy!"

Talk about burying the lead. He sends a picture of Michigan running out of the tunnel which is good, you know. Then the one below...

(ED. NOTE: Please finish any and all beverages you are currently drinking before scrolling down)

Do you fine people have idea how many pixels of blackout I had to use to make this remotely semi-safe for our often-R-rated-but-never-X-rated site? Those were the largest areolas I've ever seen in my life - real, pornographic or imagined.

Sweet Jesus! He's being swallowed alive. His buddy right next to him could have been shouting WM's name at the top of his lungs and he wouldn't have heard shit.

And check out the reactions of the guy in the Dolphins hat on the left and the dude in the background. Priceless. Simply priceless.

Folks, this deserves a caption contest - nay, demands it. Here's what we came up with...

"New Orleans ear muffs."

Leave us your best in the comments section while I go gouge my eyes out with a tuning fork.

Michigan offensive coordinator Mike Debord tries on his new head phones. Debord commented, "This is more than enough technology to call repeated zone stretch runs to the left down to the sidelines."

---OR ---

University of Michigan School of Engineering student, Patrick Bobbler, tries on a new sound filtering device he invented in his lab on North Campus which filters out the deafening key jingling heard at Michigan stadium on opponent third down attempts.

Available Tuesday, November 6 on BluRay and DVD...The long-awaited director's cut of "A Streetcar Named Desire." Completely uncut and uncensored, see Elia Kazan's masterpiece of smoldering sexual tension in its original form.

StanleyHey you two hens, cut out that cacklin' in there. StellaYou can't hear us... StanleyWell you can hear me, now knock it off!

StellaMr. Kowalski is too busy making a pig of himself... Your face and your fingers are disgustingly greasy.

BlancheWhoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.

nothing to do with this post, but I thought Yost, and other UM fans for that matter, would appreciate this. The following paragraph was written by someone at collegefootballnews.com (I can just picture OSU fans just mildly shaking their heads with a little smirk on their face while reading this, then when done reading it, they say, "Yeah right. No chance that happens."):

In what will surely go down as one of the strangest bookends to a regular season in college football history, Michigan is going to beat Ohio State on Nov. 17, coming full circle on a season that began with the infamous loss to Appalachian State on Sept. 1. You can just feel this coming, as the Wolverines surged to a seventh straight win on Saturday afternoon. Sure, the opponent was lowly Minnesota, but the underlying cause for optimism was that Michigan stayed on the tracks, despite not having both Mike Hart and Chad Henne for an entire game for the first in their careers. While Hart and Henne rested, the Wolverines maintained momentum and bolstered their depth, getting solid production from freshman QB Ryan Mallett and sophomore backs Brandon Minor and Carlos Brown. The confidence is building. The stars are getting healthier. WR Mario Manningham is back to being an integral part of the attack. And the defense, so maligned during the 0-2 start, has climbed all the way up to No. 3 in the league, creating turnovers faster than a French baker and not allowing a meaningful second-half touchdown during the seven-game winning streak. Michigan is all the way back, its respectability back intact and its to-do list now including a trip to Pasadena that seemed impossible two months ago. Ohio State is a worthy No. 1 team, coming off an impressive win over Penn State Saturday night. Its perfect season, however, is going to end in Ann Arbor by a Michigan team that is in the process of authoring one of the great turnarounds in school history. Ponder this: When the dust settles in January, what would qualify as the bigger shocker, the Wolverines losing to a team from the Southern Conference, or the Wolverines rebounding from an 0-2 start and the absolute depths of despair to win the Big Ten.

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