Day 28: Are You My Friend?

November 28, 2014

Recently I received a friend request on Facebook from someone whom I haven’t spoken with in a very long time. I wasn’t sure whether or not to accept the request. For one thing, this person was on my mental list of friend requests I would never accept for any reason. I’m pretty sure that when I made that list in my mind, there was a reason why.

I deliberated for a short while before I decided to accept the friend request. True I had valid reasons for previously eliminating this person from my life. But doesn’t time heal everything? And don’t people change? And maybe I misjudged this person way back when.

After chatting with the person for a few minutes, I caught him in a lie. It was an obvious, deliberate lie, and one that would have been funny had he admitted this to me. But he didn’t. And I didn’t let him know that I knew he wasn’t telling the truth. Still, I continued to chat with him.

The next day I ran into someone who just so happens to also know this same person, and I mentioned to him that our “friend” had requested me on Facebook, and that I had chatted with him. That was when he told me that he never talked to this friend anymore, either. Every time our “friend” gets in touch with him, it’s only because he needs something.

And then I remembered why he was no longer in my life in the first place. He lied to me constantly and tended to take advantage of people(including me) to get things that he wanted. He was like this all the time with everyone. It was why a lot of people didn’t like him.

It turns out that not much has changed in the years since I unfriended this person in real life.

So like I mentioned in my gratitude post yesterday, I have had a lot of different friends over the years. Some, I am still friends with after many years. Others, however, have left my life for various reasons. Maybe we lost touch. Or maybe they moved away.

Or maybe I burned the bridge on purpose, like I did with him.

And so I unfriended him again for the last time today. I won’t try to stay in touch, either. The decision was easy, and the only one to make.

One of my favorite songs about letting go is a song by Tricia Yearwood called “The Song Remembers When.” This is the part that resonates with me the most:

“But that’s just a lot of water underneath a bridge I burned, and there’s no use in backtracking around corners I have turned.”

Some people and some things belong right where you left them; in the past.