subscribe

Pages

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I believe I ended yesterday by saying that belly cakes were in dire need of some serious sex appeal. Well fortunately, a couple of Anony Mice have come to the rescue. Now then, I'll just cue up some sexy saxophone "Muzak" for atmosphere...

[Accordion instrumental of the "Chicken Dance" begins to play]

Whoops! Haha! Sorry - wrong CD. [fumbling with disks]

[Sax rendition of "Whole New World" begins]

Theeere we go. Much better. Ok. Y'all ready?

Ta Da!

Or should I say "Ta Ta?" [wicked grin]

Something about this brings the image of Han Solo frozen in carbonite to mind. But hey, killer nips!

Still, it's just not sexy enough, you know? I mean, it still has some clothes on.

Enter the "Sexy Suds" belly cake!

This clean bit of fun was submitted by the baker herself, although she asked to remain anonymous. And hey, it IS a beautifully done cake - it's just also a pregnant torso wearing nothing but bubbles. (Woo woo woo!)

But you wanna know the best part? Anony writes:

"The highlight was that the belly was filled with custard and with a tacky little plastic baby inside. When the Mom-to-be cut into the cake she had to use forceps (kitchen-tongs) to remove the plastic baby. Honestly, it was VERY funny at the time."

Oh I believe you, my friend - I do. Just remember: It's all fun and games 'til it ends up on Cake Wrecks*. Or 'til mom-to-be's in in the delivery room talking smack and brandishing a pair of kitchen tongs. One of the two, anyway. ;)

I will admit, for as awful and tacky as fishing the plastic baby out of custard sounds - it probably was reallllly funny if you were there at that shower. And the bubbles on that 2nd cake are pretty. I'm clearly having a "glass half full" kind of day.

How very creepy. The second one reminded me of all the weird pregnancy dreams of taking the baby out of my belly to play with it or check on it and then putting it back when I was done. But they usually involved a zipper. :)

the first cake makes me want to cry. it's hysterical and ridiculous at the same time.

this isn't a prego belly cake, but it is a headless, arm/leg-less torso cake that appears is going for the sexy-torso-cake thing. I think the worst part of this one is the panties/bikini bottoms and the line going between her legs. CREEEEEPY!http://www.sugarbutterflour.com/products/enlargednew/birthday/Bikini.htm

I have to admit to being a touch let down...okay--a lot.I guess I was expecting something in the realm of a "How To MAKE a Baby" scenario. You know, REALLY "spicy." (Why not? There seems to be no real limit to the depravity these bakers are capable of. The tackier the better, seemingly.)That first one looks like something that was washed up on the beach in a shark-infested area.Those clear half-bubbles, though, are darling. (Whoa! I found a redeeming quality...sort of.)

Okay, I've never posted here before, but I come here daily. I have to comment on that second cake. A custard filled belly and a "baby" being delivered by forceps. GROSS! The only thing that would make it worse is if the cake was red velvet!

I love the bubble cake! Anyone who has been massively pregnant will recognize the bathing problem so amusingly presented here - there is no bathtub in existence deep enough to accomodate an at-term tummy. You can submerge most of yourself, but you end up looking like a collection of volcanic islands in the ocean.

How horrible is it that I now WANT a belly cake JUST to send to Cake Wrecks when I have my first???? HA HA!!! These just make me laugh So much!!! Although, I have to admit, the one you posted where she was actually clothed was my favorite. it was actually kind of pretty...but again, kind of awkward to cut into. Again, bravo on a an EXCELLENT site that keeps me laughing every single day!!!!!!

One of our co-worker's wives is expecting in October and I was discussing the shower with another co-worker the other day. My brain started boiling when she asked if I did belly cakes. Thank goodness we got interrupted by actual work.

Ok, I have a sick mind. I admit it. But I can't be alone in associating "Ready to Pop" with the gigantic white blops all over that second cake. In my head, that is a cake for someone who really likes pregnant bellies, if you know what I mean.

It is HAN Solo! It must be a major misconception to call him Hans because that's not the first time I've heard it. We made so much fun of my father-in-law when he called him Hans, in fact we still joke about it years later! Jen - I thought you were a sci-fi geek? Star Wars mistake aside, I love Cake Wrecks, it always starts my day off with a laugh: )

My husband was watching "Trashiest Weddings Ever" last night. I suppose that these are examples of the baby shower cakes these sort of people find appropriate. Fortunately, I will never be invited to either one of those occasions.

From the baker of cake number 2...Thanks for all the comments. I actually saw quite a few pseudo compliments there, so I am very happy with the feedback. FYI, that was not foil, it was cake board cover, but it was such a heavy cake (what with the custard filling and all) that I used a wood board and the cover slid a little when the cake was tilted for photos...everybody wanted a pic. The clear bubbles are made from gumball/toy machine toy containers for anyone who is interested. And really, the Mom-to-Be and all the guests thought the cake was a ton of fun. Some of you are just too serious;)

Did anyone else notice that to the right side of the first cake it looks like there's an arm...but it goes into the shorts-or panties-or whatever the bottom attire is. Um...isn't that a bit...um...shall I just say odd?

You know, when you posted the belly cakes yesterday I thought to myself "I think the only way I would like these is if there was a little plastic fetus inside, and whoever got it in their slice won something."

Then I decided to not comment with that, because that would just be too tasteless (hee!).

And now, today, you tell me that I'm not as trashy as I thought! Now I'm sad AND unoriginal. :(

...seriously, though, if someone insists on getting a belly cake for my hypothetical baby shower, I'm going to demand there be a fake baby baked into it. My family's just trashy enough to love it.

I knew to expect some wrecktackular cakes, but reading your intro had me snickering up a fit (I'm afraid to laugh too loud at work--don't want them to think that they're paying me to read blogs all day long).

Kudos, Jen. You and your equally clever husband never fail to put a smile on my face :)

i've come a little close to barfing while reading this site, but that suds cake has brought me the closest.

so it's a naked belly and boobs in water, says "ready to pop" which makes me think of alien, and when you carve into it (that's not a terrifying thing to imagine) there's a tiny plastic baby. the combination of these factors is making me highly ready to vomit :(

(and i'm sure this has nothing to do with my long-standing anxiety about pregnancy. no. nothing!)

I have been enjoying your blog for a long time, almost every day I drop by for a giggle! I am a student Midwife (that's right, I help pregnant mum's bring babies into the world!) I actually saw my first C-Section today, and I didn't find it funny at all. It's major abdominal surgery, with major complications like maternal death, effects on subsequent fertility, prolonged hospitalization, decreased breastfeeding success...

Anyways, I just wanted a little rant; the alarming rise in C-Sections in America is a scary topic, and I don't think it's funny at all.

Thank you, "Ready to Pop" baker! I was wondering what you used for the big, clear bubbles, and if they're edible. Excellent use of materials.

Given that I've made an edible bleeding brain for past Halloweens (I owe it all to Penn and Teller's "How to Play with Your Food" book), I'm thrilled with your fine use of custard too. My opinion: great job! Thanks to Jen for posting it too, along with the details.

I was looking at this post but closed it when I heard the door click because I was in a public place. And who should walk in but my very pregnant colleague who was having contractions as we talked. I'm glad I closed the window, as I'm not sure how she would have reacted to these!

Java_Jane said... "...the alarming rise in C-Sections in America is a scary topic, and I don't think it's funny at all."***********************Not so scary as reprehensible. This subject came up before, here, and it seems that now, apparently, Caesarians are an ELECTIVE option. And no, there is nothing funny about doctors offering this in order to make MORE MONEY (or in order to spare the mother from having to go through an inconvenient labor). It's the fault of the doctors; no woman can demand it.But we need to lighten up in this case--even without a disclaimer to the fact, I assume that no one was injured in the making or consuming of these cakes.=^@@^=

Oh my God, haven't y'all heard of Mardi Gras King cakes? Jen posted a link to one not too long ago. THEY HAVE BABIES BAKED IN 'EM, PEOPLE!

I would eat a belly cake. I have eaten cakes that looked like a lot worse and it's only cake. Perhaps I just have a cast iron stomach. But I have eaten Barbie cakes and didn't think I was eating fabric. I've eaten cakes that looked like dirt and didn't think it came from the garden. I even ate a penis cake one time! I just see...cake.

SO SRS you guys. The second one is hilarious. And it doesn't look badly made, aside from the weirdness of the subject matter.

Agreeing with the anons who mentioned king cake. That's the first thing that comes to my mind when anyone mentions babies and cake. Aside from "oh god where are the towels." And some king cakes have fillings, though I don't think I've tried those.

The second cake made me think of a drowned pregnant woman... with the only parts above water showing? Anyone? They both sort of grossed me out.

As for the person who said the 2nd decorator was a home decorator - so what? That person did a beautiful job, considering. I doubt people care if their cake board is covered with aluminum foil or wrapping paper or whatever. They remember the cake, not the board on which it sets.

Ok I admit it, I love the second cake. And I would totally ask for a baby inside it, but I guess that's just my kind of humor. I think when done right, a Belly Cake is awesome. Unfortunately they usually just turn out hideous.

To the "Ready to Pop" baker: I started wondering about the logistics of making a dome-shaped, custard-filled cake. My best guess is that you baked flat cake(s), lined a bowl with cake, filled the cake with custard, topped it off with a layer of cake, then inverted the whole thing like a summer pudding. Am I close?

to Jackie31337- I used a Betty Crocker bake and fill pan (www.bakenfill.com) and filled with bavarian cream flavored pudding that I had made with slightly pre-whipped heavy cream, thus the custard DID NOT OOZE when the cake was cut. Even I have limits.

to Kathryn- the baby was about 4" long soft plastic... kind of a kewpie doll looking thing.

to Un-bride- All breasts are uneven...deal with it!

For those creeped out by the "Ready to Pop?" message, it was a reference to a 5 year old nephew who, when asking a question about his Aunts' pregnancy, started his questions with "Mommy, when Aunt Tammy pops...."

I'm really not surprised at the rate of c-sections going up..they tried to CONVINCE me ALL 4 times I've given birth to have one. Even though I have perfectly normal, easy, pain medication, IV free births... they probably just wanted more money..

As for the cakes, I like them, the custard idea isn't bad... but maybe only because I like Custard. :PThe foreceps idea is the more *shudder* worthy idea to me. Though that's NOT at the fault of the baker at all :P

as for the ready to pop.. I thought it was cute, bubbles pop, people say they're "ready to pop" when pregnant just because you get so damned big you feel like you could burst.

People need to simmer down :P

word verification: viccies .. sort of reminds me of some random thing my Australian friend would say and make me go "what now?"

OMG! I think cake #2 (belly w/bubbles)is awesome!I think people are taking it to seriously, as long as the mom to be loved it thats what counts.If your grossed out by custard then you should probably stay out of the bakeries!

From the baker of Sexy Suds again... I FINALLY got my copy of the book and I am absolutely THRILLED to my toes that my cake made it into the book. I know, I know...you are thinking "Why would she be proud that her cake made it into a book about bad cakes?". Well, in my humble opinion, my cake isn't there because it was badly made. Rather, it is there because it is one of the most over-the-top cakes ever! And that makes me very proud! WOO HOO!

P.S. I also noted that one of the cupcake decorators on the tour decided to make a wreckplica of my cake. AWESOME!

Search This Blog

Wreck the Halls

NEW! Pre-Order Today!

Buy the Book

Buy the NYT Bestseller

What's a Wreck?

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

order

Where's the book?

We don’t have any copies of Cake Wrecks for sale here, autographed or otherwise. We decided the shipping and handling costs would be too high to make it worth your while. So instead, buy your copies locally or online and then order personalized bookplates: it’s cheaper, easier, and I think even looks a bit nicer.

Ordering Info

Payments must be made through Paypal, which accepts all major credit cards. Sorry, but that means no checks or MOs or barter-based chickens.

We ship everything first class USPS, and will do our best to have your package in the mail within 2 days of your order.