Thursday 24th of May 2012 and I woke up at 6 o'clock, 1 hour before my alarm was set to go off. A slight set back, but never mind, I felt asleep around 10 o'clock yesterday so I got my sleep. OK, another hour would be nice so I tried to fall asleep, but it was impossible. I left for Suvarnabhumi and my Thai Airways flight TG 664 at 8 o'clock.

My legs are much better now, but I still have some pain and I was afraid that it would be worse if I was going to spend 4 hours in Monkey Class. I decided to upgrade my ticket, it is the same every time, I buy monkey class because I feel small after all the boxing. When I'm coming to the airport and I see all the people I upgrade, never any problem with Thai Airways and that's the reason why I like to fly with Thai Airways.

I went to Thai Airways ticket office and the girl flipped through binders and she made a few calls and she told me that I could not upgrade this ticket.
- What the ! This is the first time I can't upgrade!
- This is a special promotion ticket that can't be upgraded

So they sold me a Scooby Doo ticket and I saved 50 Baht and now I can't upgrade. Well, thinking of it, that saved me 700 US$.

I checked in and I asked for an aisle seat on the last row in the airplane. I had checked in on the internet just to make sure to get an aisle seat, but the back row was full when I tried to change my seat on the internet. But the girl at the check-in got me a seat in the back row, 71F and I was happy.

Immigration was a quick thing even though I had over stay. I was taken to a desk behind the immigration, but I had to line up to the immigration first before I was taken to the OVER STAY desk. I can't help it, but I miss the old Don Muang airport. I tried to get over stay every time and I could go straight to the OVER STAY office between the immigration booths and thus I could dodge the immigration line and I saved plenty time.

Well, anyway, they told me that it would cost me 1500 Baht.
- How much per day? I asked
- 500 Baht
- And one day is for free
- Yes
- So how much? I asked again
They said 1500 and they showed me the passport, but this was not my passport.
- OH SORRY SORRY
- No problem!
I got my passport and I went to buy 2 bottles of Baileys, the original. The Baileys Hazelnut was not as excited that I had been hoping for. I had 2 hours to kill, or one and a half hour before boarding so I walked around Suvarnabhumi and bad luck stroke, I passed a Dairy Queen and I bought a milk shake. Another step back for my diet.

A seat in the last row and I can board first of all the monkey class passengers after the BIZ passengers have boarded. Pretty clever. I ended up next to 2 Thai guys going to Shanghai for business and we cracked a few jokes on the way to Shanghai. 11 o'clock, departure time and now we were told that we had to wait for 35 minutes because of “traffic jam” They were maintaining one of the runways so we had to wait. Strange, I thought airports had an extra runway just in case, I have never heard of delays because of maintaining the runway before.

Never mind, I was in a good mood even though I was flying Airbus. I don't know if it is because American people are FLABBIER than other people, but I always prefer to fly with Boeing. Much more comfortable, and when was the last time you heard of a Boeing falling down from the sky? It is always:
Air France Airbus crashed
Airbus this and that crashed so I prefer to sit in a Boeing. Hmm, thinking of it, we had to do a emergency landing with a Boeing 747 in Johannesburg a few years ago, but that ended well.

Well, I was in a good mood and as this is Thai Airways they have a good service and friendly staff and I went back to the galley to talk with the stewardesses. I don't know why, maybe because I look like PORKY, the guy that is always hungry. The Stewardess asked if I was hungry
- No
- Peanuts?
- No thanks, I'm on diet

They asked me what I was going to do in Shanghai and I told them that I was going for a few days of party
- Drinking starts in 20 minutes, she said
- What's the occasion? I asked
- We will serve the drinks then
- But we haven't take off yet
- Soon, do you want a beer now?
- No thanks
I returned to my seat and I slept for 2 hours or so and when I woke up I went back to my favourite Stewardess and of course, she asked me if I was hungry. I got 2 glass of orange juice, bad taste in my mouth after the sleeping and then I got a beer. When I asked for my 5th beer they asked how many I have had.
- This is the second beer

A good change, the Stewardess stopped asking me if I was hungry and now she asked “one more beer” every time she saw me. I gave her my number
- But don't call me!
- Why?
- We have no future together. I'm ugly and you work with all the handsome Pilots all the time.
- I don't like Pilots

Thai Airway, they are making money. Scandinavian Airlines losing money by the minute. I avoid flying with SAS if I can. And when I'm buying tickets I don't look for the cheapest ticket, I want to fly with Thai Airways. Always good service and friendly staff.

I don't know what's wrong with the Scandinavians, it is like they are all suffering from a severe inferiority complex. I mean, if you have job to serve other people you should not feel like you are worth less than the people you are serving. We are all equal and it doesn't mean that I look down on a Stewardess because she gives a good service. Quite the opposite.

Waking up in Copenhagen when they dump a bag in my lap.
- What the
- Breakfast!

I was on a train drinking a few beers in Sweden and I was sitting there enjoying my beer and music when a cleaner came by. Staring to wipe my table so the beer can felt over. No sorry or excuse me, it was more of the attitude:
- Stay clear, here I am cleaning! The most important guy in the world!

Well, I was actually surprised last time I was flying from Norway to Bangkok, the service was good and friendly staff.

We arrived to Shanghai around 5 o'clock and the immigration and custom was a quick affair. A huge airport, but not many people so we passed the Immigration in 0,5.

I saw my hotel name at a desk outside the custom and I went over to see about transportation. Airport taxi 450 Scooby Dollars.
- A meter taxi is 200. But this is the best way to go
- OK, I just go to the ATM

I was told that it was very expensive in Shanghai so I withdrew 5000 Scooby Dollars to last me the first night on town. They only had 100 Scooby Doo dollar notes so I could not close my valet. I went to pay my airport taxi, 450 Scooby Dollars and it didn't help, I could still not close my valet. Well, they guy took my bag and we left for the car. I stopped at a convenient store to buy beer.

2 cans of the most famous beer in China, the Tsingtao. Yeah, I know, I never heard of it before, but this was Chinas #1 beer according to the girl helping me at the convenient store.

I paid the beers, 16 Scooby Dollars. This is not expensive and I will have to drink myself retarded if I'm going to spend the money I withdrew from the ATM.

The guy took me to the car and I was soon having Grammatik on full blast and I opened my first Tsingtao beer ever and it was not bad. Of course, by now I could have been drinking pretty much everything they would have thrown my way.

Polish Hip Hop and cold beer and we were on the way, the driver told me that it would take about 1 hour to get to my hotel, depending on the traffic.

I told the driver that we might have to make a few “beer” stops depending on the traffic.

Hit the PLAY button to get in to the “Going to Shanghai in a taxi” mood

And of course, when Grammatik came to an end Roffe Ruff was blasting high on the Richter scale. Roffe Ruff on a world tour: Singapore - Bangkok - Tokyo - Bangkok - Shanghai

It was a gloomy and grey afternoon and it was like it was going to rain any second. I hope the weather gets better soon or I will have to sit in my room for 5 days.

Well, I don't think so, but it would be nice with a holiday without rain. But the temperature was just perfect. Not cold and not hot, like a Swedish summer and it was a nice change from Bangkok.

We were hauling arse down the high way towards Shanghai and I asked the driver how long before we arrived. He wasn't sure and as I liked to be on the safe side I asked him to stop at 7 Eleven for more beer.

The Driver told me that they didn't have any 7 Elevens in Shanghai
- What the
- Don't worry, we will get you beer!
That's the spirit I'm looking for and we were soon leaving the highway.

On our way to DOWN TOWN Shanghai
Enjoy the picture because I don't think there will be much of the “touristic” pictures during my stay in Shanghai

On our way to DOWN TOWN Shanghai
Enjoy the picture because I don't think there will be much of the “touristic” pictures during my stay in Shanghai

On our way to DOWN TOWN Shanghai
Enjoy the picture because I don't think there will be much of the “touristic” pictures during my stay in Shanghai

On our way to DOWN TOWN Shanghai
Enjoy the picture because I don't think there will be much of the “touristic” pictures during my stay in Shanghai

On our way to DOWN TOWN Shanghai
Enjoy the picture because I don't think there will be much of the “touristic” pictures during my stay in Shanghai

On our way to DOWN TOWN Shanghai
Enjoy the picture because I don't think there will be much of the “touristic” pictures during my stay in Shanghai

On our way to DOWN TOWN Shanghai
Enjoy the picture because I don't think there will be much of the “touristic” pictures during my stay in Shanghai

On our way to DOWN TOWN Shanghai
Enjoy the picture because I don't think there will be much of the “touristic” pictures during my stay in Shanghai

We stopped at a place called jawson or Statson, the driver turned up to stop outside the convenient store like we were going to rob the place, stand by to leave in 0,5. And yes, we were leaving on 0,5, I bought bottle of Heineken and we were soon out of there.

It took us about 5 or 10 minutes to get to the hotel when we left the convenient store. They got my bags and we went to check-in and the staff could not stop to talk about my shirt and shoes.
- Very nice shirt!
- Beautiful shoes!
Well, it is the same everywhere and on Thai Airways it is always “Mr Nice shirt”. My boxing Teacher wants to have the same shirt as I have and this is the only thing he is talking about. The only one complaining is my “LIFE COACH” but he is living a dull life looking like he has been stealing a table cloth at an Italian restaurant for shirt.

And of course, the people wearing a SINGHA or Tuk's GO GO bar tank top and flip flops. Seriously, how can you walk around in a Tuk's GO GO bar tank top and flip flops? And on top of that complaining about other's shirts.

My hotel room

My hotel room

My hotel room

I had a shower when I was on my room and I had a quick beer while setting up my “IT Centre” on the desk. The place where I will update my web page. I was soon back at the reception to get a card with the address so I would find my way back tomorrow morning. They wrote down the address to a place with music and beer and I was off to look for a taxi.

The guy at the front door arranged a taxi for me and as soon as I stepped inside I was glad that I had chose the airport transportation service. It was like sitting in a cage and I was reminded about me going to buy CDs in Subic Bay.

I was going to buy some CDs to burn some music to have in the taxi taking me to Manila and in Subic they only have the motorcycle taxis with a side wagon. Exactly like sitting in a cage and it is very small.

Well, anyway, the driver dropped me at a street, obviously the Xintiandi or Xin Tian Di if you want. I was walking down the street and it looked like it was mostly restaurants and I was disappointed.
- What so great about this place?

I spotted a place with coloured lights and I went inside. No music, but I had two Carlsberg and some salmon. No San Miguel Light so far, only the Chinese beer, Carlsberg and Heineken. There were 2 girls drinking next to me and they were very beautiful. That was until I realised that they had they baby with them. Who the foock is going to a bar drinking with a baby? The baby was sitting in a baby char while the mother and her friend was drinking like there was no tomorrow. Stupid and they went from very beautiful to the ugliest I have ever seen in a jiff.

I left after 2 beers, no music and to sit and watch these two girls, well, I was out of there. I crossed the street and they had a band from the Philippines playing on the stage. I had a few beers while talking with a guy from America, he had obviously been around for a while so I got a few pointers. I paid my bill and I left for another place at the shipping mall. They told me that there was a place on the fifth floor that was very good.

I stopped at a Jazz place on my way to the shopping mall and they played some very good music. Jazz sucks, but this was the good kind of jazz and I stayed for longer than I had planned. I ended up talking with the guy playing the bass and he was from Mauritius. Well, now I have had 16 or 17 beers and I was getting tipsy.
Is Charisma Man's adventure in Shanghai about to begin? And where is the Obnoxious Man?

I continued to the Shopping mall but there were only 4 floors. What the...? Did they try to pull my legs? I asked for the fifth floor and there was only 4, but on the fourth floor was a disco called the fifth floor. Yes, same story when I was in Le Havre, France. They told me to go to a place called SHIT.
- Great disco!
- SHIT??
Turned out to be a disco on a ship.

OK, I must be one of the ugliest guys in the world. OK, I watched “An Idiot Abroad” and he were in India. He met a Baba called the elephant man. He is uglier than me, and that is a guarantee. I want to put a picture of the Baba, the Elephant Man here but this is pure ghastliness. But go ahead, look it up o internet. Or just watch the episode of “An Idiot Abroad” when he is in India. But here in Shanghai it is almost like being raped where ever the foock you go. I stepped outside the taxi at Xintiandi or Xin Tian Di if you want. I was stopped by a girl on the street, several girls actually.
- HEY ! Nice shirt! I love your shoes! Where are you going?

They started to walk with me and obviously I thought it was prostitutes, but it isn't. The girls with the baby were flirting with me. OK, they turned from very beautiful to ugly quicker than I could say “You stupid foock bringing a baby to a bar getting drunk” It was the same everywhere I went.

And at the fifth floor I was almost raped at the bar. So Lisa got angry and the other girl got angry both at me and Lisa when I told her that I was married with Lisa.

This girl was something else, she was not flirting. She grabbed me, she was manhandling me and I was like: WHAT THE FOOCK!!??
- Are you sure you're married to that girl?
- Yes!
- Are you REALLY sure you're married to that girl?
- Yes!
She refused to let me go and I told her that I was going to the bathroom and I left for the bath room and I was hoping that he girl would have left when I was back so I could chat with Lisa.

I was lucky, when I came back the girl war history and I could talk with Lisa. I got her number.
- I'm off on Sunday and Monday
Exactly during my worst hangover period, but I didn't tell her that.
- I call you tomorrow.

Is this all an evil Chinese Set up? Are they forcing beautiful girls to flirt with ugly foreigners? For sure this evil plan is working just wonderful. I have not seen any child slave labour around. But what is going on in the kitchen? And the prices, this is almost as expensive as drinking in Japan around here. 50 Scooby Doo $ for a drink. Are we allowed to leave Shanghai to see the “Reall” China? I don't care, I'm busy having a good time.

The American guy forcing me to drink Tequila

Lisa brings Tequila with orange

drinking Tequila with orange

The American guy drinking Tequila with orange

I was unlucky, I ran in to the American guy I had meet earlier in the evening. Well, I didn't run in to him, he spotted me.
- Aladdin!!
- YO!!
- Have Tequila!
- No thanks!
- Have Tequila!
- No thanks!
He didn't take no for an answer so I had to drink the darn Tequila. Why can't people just pay for their own drinks? I don't want to hang in the bar like a back packer travelling the world on 20$ so of course I had to buy a round of Tequilas and here we go again.

I ordered Tequila with orange instead of lemon, much better and they looked at me like I was a crazy good for nothing Swede.
- ORANGE?
We had the drink and they told me that it was much better with the orange. I don't know how many Tequilas we had, but I had to escape. I know myself and I don't want to end up with the concrete hat on.

I don't know where this is, yet another pointless picture

I took a taxi to some club, don't ask me where, but it was a very nice place and I had several more beers. I meet some nice people and it was very fun, time turned quick and I was back at my hotel at 5 o'clock. I had a quick stop for a Milkshake at McDonald, but they didn't have milkshake. What is this? A great disappointment.

I had a girl getting in to my taxi when I left the club and she refused to get out. I told the driver to take me to my hotel and half way there I got out of the taxi. The driver got out to ask me where I was going.
- Get the girl out of the taxi!
What the foock is wrong with people around here? The girl left and I stopped for the milkshake disappointment at McDonald before going to my hotel. I gave the driver 30 Scooby Dollar but he wanted 100. He didn't use the meter and I pointed this out to him several times during the ride.
- Never mind, he said.
He wanted 100 and I gave him 30, an estimation how much it would have cost, including the waiting at McDonalds. He got angry and I told him to foock off. Same in Bangkok, if they don't tune on the meter I just give them what I usually pay and they get very upset. Well, not my problem, they have a meter so use it!

I don't know where this is, yet another pointless picture

+++++++++++++++

Friday 25th of May 2012 and I woke up at 12. Suddenly the idea to call Lisa didn't seem to be all that excellent.

I checked the pictures from yesterday and most of them turned out to be useless. Then I had a bottle of Baileys while updating my web page and I'm out of here to discover Shanghai.

Well, after a bottle of Baileys it is time for Charisma Man to go discover Shanghai. I took a taxi outside my hotel. I stepped in to the back, no more sitting in the cage up front. So I chose the back seat. I saw the hotel staff rushing forward to assist me. I told the driver:
- Tjing Tjong Tjing
The staff pulled back obviously thinking that Aladdin knew his way around and that I was speaking Chinese. The taxi took off and we were hopefully on the way to a nice place. But I didn't had a clue but “Tjing Tjong Tjing” sounded good.

We arrived to Xintiandi or Xin Tian Di if you want. I don't know what my Tjing Tjong Tjing sounded like, but I think the taxi drivers are used to bring the foreigners to Xintiandi or Xin Tian Di if you want. I had to make a 90° detour as soon as I stepped outside the taxi. There was an old lady and I just knew that she was going to start to go on about my shirt even before she opened her mouth.

She went on and on and I ran down the street so I missed Xintiandi or Xin Tian Di if you want. Good, I ended up on another street and there was a place called the NU Lounge. Lounge, well, I can do some lounging if they have beer and music. What a disappointment?

NU Lounge was a souvenir shop, but when I turned around to leave the girls told me that the NU Lounge was on the second floor. I went up to the second floor and they had a nice balcony facing the street so I could sit there watching the people passing by on the street below. And there are some very beautiful girls in Shanghai and many of them passed by NU Lounge.

Hit the PLAY button to get in to the “NU Lounge” mood with Hofmästaren &Roffe Ruff

They didn't have much beer to choose from and the only name I recognised was the Tsingtao, not a bad beer if I have it from a wine glass with ice. They were playing my TAXI CD so we had Roffe Ruff blasting high on the Richter scale.

The girl working at the NU Lounge was very nice and she told me to come back in the evening. And she told me to bring back my CD. She really liked the music and she thought that I would find the place fun in the evening. More people she said. Now there was only 2 people from Taiwan sitting there without ordering anything. A glass of water and playing with the mobile phone. For sure not making the owner of NY Lounge any richer.

I had two Tsingtao beers with ice before I left and when I walked through the souvenir shop the girls asked me what kind of music we had played. So obviously they have loudspeakers in the souvenir shop. On full blast for the customers to enjoy. I told them that it was Roffe Ruff from Sweden.
- You must come back tonight.
-I'm ot sure you want to experience a tipsy Aladdin, I said.

I ended up at a place had been to yesterday and when i came around to the bar the girl had put a Carlsberg and 2 different wine glass for me on top of the bar. I had not ordered any beer and she asked me what kind of wine glass I wanted.

The staff was preparing to open the bar so I was alone with the staff. And the owner held a PEP meeting with the staff. They all recognised me from yesterday and the owner started the PEP meeting by welcoming me.
- Today we have Aladdin at our place.

Then they started to cheer and clap their hands. I just hate that, same at Bangkok Fight Club. They are clapping every time someone does something and isn't this so American. And don't you feel stupid when they start clapping their hands.
- LOOK AT PORKY!!! HE MANAGED TO PUNCH THE BAG!!!!

I ordered my third beer and the girl asked me why I wanted to have a third beer. She told me that I only had 2 yesterday and I told her that I wanted to have 3, or even more today.

I left o discover the area and I passed a building with signs about music. So I tried to get inside but all the doors were locked.

There was a British guy coming up from behind and he told me I had to enter from the front. He was going to the place called LUNAR so I joined him. The British guy was a friend of the French owner and I ended up on a table with these two. The French owner ordered drinks and I was thinking:
- OH NO!!

I don't want to be a Cheap Charlie so I had to buy a round and then there was another round coming and I had to buy yet another round. So I prefer to pay my own drinks and I can leave when I want.

If the next round is on you, you can't leave. Well, some people can, how many times have you seen the people going to the toilet every time the bill is coming?

We were suddenly moving in the the “conferance room” where their friends were drinking. The French owner brought a bottle of Absolut vodka. But I managed to dodge the vodka, I'm drinking beer only.

I had to go to look for an ATM and I ran in to a Japanese restaurant when I was back from my hotel. I had been at my hotel to leave the ATM card. I had something that might turn out to be the best thing about Shanghai. Salmon fried rice, this was the best fried rice I have ever had and I will for sure be back to see if I can get the recipe. And of course, I will check out the name of the restaurant so you know where to go when in Shanghai.

I was walking back towards LUNAR when I spotted a dog that looked exactly like the famous dog in Tokyo. The owner just gaped at me when I chased his dog with my camera.

I ended up at a place where everything was black and there were some very good music. They wanted to buy me drinks and I said no thank. But the owner didn't gave up
When I said no thanks to the drink he offered me a cigar
- No thanks
- Are you sure?

Well, nice people around here this is for sure. I left the place when I finished my beer and I walked around the area only drinking water. I really must explore the rest of Shanghai tomorrow.

This Xin Tian Di is getting boring by now. Mostly restaurants and the same people walking au and down the street. I wouldn't mind finding an area with some nice music pups, no more live music. I'm pretty feed up with all the Filipino bands playing her. How many times can you hear Hotel California before you want to step out in front of a bus?

+++++++++++++++

Saturday 26th of May 2012 and I woke up at 11 when the rang on my door. I sprung out of bed and I opened the door.
- Please, tell me the story about the ringing on my foocking door 24/7!
- Oh, sorry Sir.
I was swearing over the darn hotel. Why don't they have a “Don't disturb” sign to hang on the
door as they have on all the other hotels I have been living at around the world. Foocking shit hotel. I did not even finish the last thought, foocking shit hotel when I discovered 2 buttons inside the door. One for “PLEASE, DON'T DISTURB” and one for “PLEASE, CLEAN MY ROOM” I opened the door and there was a green and red light outside. I was ashamed for my behaviour and it was quite embarrassing.

Well, I didn't had any hangover, drinking water from midnight and I was back home at 2, well, 2 thirty. I left to look for a place with breakfast. They have a Chinese restaurant on the 11th floor and a Western restaurant on the first floor. No omelette at the Western restaurant and after having seen “An Idiot Abroad” I didn't wanted to eat Chinese food.

Your browser does not support the video tag.

At home restaurants get closed down if there is a cockroach in the kitchen. Here it's a starter

She gets up in the morning and finds a spider in the bath.
Good, I have the spider now and I save the sandwich for tomorrow

I left the hotel and I was walking around looking for a restaurant and an ATM. ATM is not easy to find in Shanghai. And obviously it was not easy to find a restaurant with breakfast. But I got a look of the town while walking around. It was a beautiful day and I enjoyed walking around. Finally, I found a coffee shop across the road from my hotel.

Shanghai

My hotel

I had a pot of tea, very good tea. Earl Grey, but I think it was cream instead of milk and it tasted very good. Bacon and egg, cheese and ham omelette and toast. I was feeling like million when I left the place behind to continue my walk around Shanghai

I went back to my hotel for a little bit of rest before going to town to drink beer. I asked at the hotel if there was another place than the Xin Tian Di to drink beer. It lives millions of people in Shanghai so there must be something else on offer. The girl wrote down and address for me and I took off in a taxi.

And before I left I turned on the red light outside my door and now it will be red until I check out on Tuesday. Well, I wouldn't mind going home today, but I have a few more days to kill in Shanghai.

The driver drove around looking for the address while talking to himself and I'm pretty sure that he didn't knew where he was and I asked him to stop when we passed a few pubs. He refused to stop and I screamed at him
- STOP
He continued and I started to bang on the cage.
- STOP MOTHERFOOCKER!!!!
The meter was on 18 Scooby Doo dollars and I handed him 20. He waved away the money so I put them in the front seat before stepping out of the taxi.

The first bar was a sport bar with a bunch of guys watching sport on the TV and I turned around and left. I walked around in the area and there were several pubs with soccer on the TV so I didn't stop for any beer. I passed an Italian restaurant and they had pasta with salmon in a cheese sauce on the menu outside the front door. I went inside and I was showed to a table.

I asked for a beer, a pot of tea, smoked salmon as a starter and the pasta salmon as main course. And I asked if they had avocado and luckily enough they had avocado and I asked them to add it to the smoked salmon.

Excellent food and the pasta were really good with the salmon. But I got a wee bit pissed off when I discovered scallops in my pasta. I read in the menu: Pasta with salmon, spinach, onion and cheese sauce. They mention everything but the scallop and if they had mentioned the scallops I would have asked them to remove the scallops. But it was very good even with the scallops.

I finished my meal and I paid my bill and I was out of there continuing my search for a place with beer and music. I spotted a bar and I went inside, yet again, a bunch of guys watching TV. This time it was formula 1 or something like that and I left.

It was a very nice area of Shanghai with beautiful houses and villas and plenty green areas. Imagine having one of those villas when I was in my 20's, I could have thrown some real nice parties.

I passed a store where they made custom made shoes and they had some really nice shoes in the window and I stepped inside. WOW!! They had some FUNKY shoes here, but not in my size and it would take them one month with at least one fitting to make shoes for me.

DARN! I had hoping that they could do it in 24 hours. I left the shop and I walked around for an hour before leaving for my hotel and a shower. I had decided to walk from my hotel to Xin Tian Di, well, towards Xin Tian Di because I really hoped that I would run in to something more exciting than Xin Tian Di. And walking might be the thing to do, at least I would see something of Shanghai while walking. And I could need the exercise.

I'm down at a residential area and I passed a barber shop, 10 Scooby Dollars for a haircut and I went inside. There was a girl in the chair next to me and we finished at the same time and we walked together and I asked her about Shanghai night life.

We went in to a shop to get a pen and a paper. She wrote down the address to an area for me and I would go to check it out.

Before I knew it I found myself at the Xin Tian Di area again and I could as well, stop for a beer at the place where everything is black. I asked for a beer and they gave me a wine glass and ice without me having to ask for it. Yes, there are some perks about the small places, they know me after one night and I never have to ask for ice and wine glass.

I had 2 beers before I left to check out another place, the Rendezvous I think. The owner recognised me and I was soon having a beer in front of me. There were 2 Chinese guys next to me and one of them asked me where I was from. He had been living in Sweden for 10 years and he was talking Swedish. He was in Shanghai working a s a DJ and he would go back to Sweden in a month.

He told me that he never asked people were they came from. But he told me that I looked Swedish. He had asked 2 guys during his 6 months here and they had both been from Sweden so he might be on to something.

I had a few beers before I left for the NU Lounge, no people and they had run out of beer. They only had some kind of cider and I had a bottle. I asked for the rest room and the girl pointed someplace down the road.
- It is very near!
- Yeah-yeahI was about to piss my pants when one of the guys were leaving for the restroom and I joined him. DARN! We had to walk all the way to the shopping mall and by the time I was back at the NU Lounge I needed to go again.

The other guests were soon leaving and the girl running the place closed down so we could leave for some places at Huaihai Road. There should be plenty bars and music. I told her that I was going to wait for her down stairs and I went to the Thai restaurant next door t use their rest room.

And I ordered a coconut milk shake to avoid feeling stupid only to burst in to use the rest room. The girl was just coming out looking for me when I was back at NU Lounge and I could see that she thought that I had left.

We entered a taxi and we took off. Can't say that we were hauling ass in the traffic, but we moved. At least until the first intersection. There was a car and a taxi in the oncoming lane and the drivers were on the street screaming at each other. I don't know what have happened, but they had obviously been in an accident.

The driver pointed at his taxi but I could not see any dent or scratch in the paint work. They driver of the big car was screaming in Chinese. He screamed something that sounded like:
- IDIOT!! YOU POOR SUCKER!! I HAVE A NICE CAR AND YOU DRIVE A TAXI!!

He took off and the taxi driver was left behind. Like Thailand back in the days, the one with the most expensive car was always right, or the one that knew the Police with the highest rank. A collision and the first thing was to call you Police friend hoping for him to outrank the other driver's Police friend.

OK, the car left and the taxi driver started to scream and point and now all the other taxi drivers in the intersection were involved.

Red light turned green and I told the driver to drive. But they were in the middle of this and green light turned red. No sign of them stopping and I had to scream at the driver when the light turned green again.

Believe it or not, while going down the street the taxis was driving next to each other screaming through the windows to each others. We finally made it down Huaihai Road and we stopped at Shanghai Brewery and we got out of the taxi. The girl asked me if I wanted to try Shanghai Brewery and I told her that it was up to her. I really didn't want to sit down at a brewery, if there was any music it would most likely be a Filipino live band.

I was lucky and the girl didn't want to go there, she wanted to play pool so we continued up the street. We came to a place called CAN CAN BAR and the girl asked if they had a pool table.
- On the second floor.
So we stepped inside and we sat down in the bar and I ordered a Tiger beer, finally a good beer in Shanghai and the girl wanted a bottle of water.

It didn't take long before we discovered what kind of bar it was, the girls were more than happy to sit down to have a drink with the customers. Tjing Tjing as the girl was named was hungry and she asked if they had something to eat.

Well, they had snacks so we ordered pop corn and she got some sticks with BBQ stuff on them from the staff. The staff was really friendly and they told us that they could order Pizza.
- But it is expensive! 110 Scooby Doo dollars
- No problem
- Are you sure?
- I'm sure
- 110 Scooby Doo dollars

He called the delivery service and they would be there in 50 minutes. So I had time to drink plenty beers while listening to the taxi CD. Roffe Ruff and Lord Finesse were blasting high on the Richter scale and the people on the second floor liked it.

They had a hard time to sit still every time when I went to the bathroom on the second floor.
Well, at least until เมดอินไทยแลนด์ with Karabao started. Then they came down to complain about the music. So I guess that they are not ready for Thai music in China yet.

The delivery guy arrived with the pizza and by now I was hungry as well. The pizza was too much for Tjing Tjing so I helped her eating the pizza. And I never asked her what was on the pizza, sometimes you just don't want to know.

Maybe because I had all the beers, but the pizza was quite good and when we had finished the pizza we left the place. We walked up the Huaihai Road and we came to some outdoor bars and a place called SOHO. Tjing Tjing was tired and she took a taxi back home and I went it to SOHO. I recognised the place, the very same place where I had been Thursday night, or more correct, Friday morning.

And of course, I meet the girl I had meet at G+ Thursday night and she recognised me, I was not quite sure if I recognised me. But she was for sure recognising me. I was quick to tell her that my “wife” Lisa was joining me in a short while in order to avoid any hassle. She was soon leaving with her friend.

Strange, at 1 o'clock Friday morning at G+ I thought it was a great idea to call Lisa. When I woke up it seemed like the worst idea ever. Lo and behold, 5 or 6 o'clock in the morning it was yet again a great idea to call her. NO, not a great idea, the BEST IDEA ever. Luckily enough she didn't answered and I threw away her number to avoid any more early morning calls.

There was a beautiful girl sitting in the bar drinking beer. And she was beautiful, should be against

Before

After

the law to be so beautiful. Motherfoocker, I really must get my diet back on track!

Well, there was a drunk Chinese guy sitting next to her and he tried his best to be charming and the girl was like “DROP DEAD” Of course, she had other more dashing stuff on her mind, SuperSwede was staying in the bar less than 2 meters from her. He tried to buy her a beer, she said no thanks while giving me the “Please help me look”

He moved closed and she started to sit with her legs and arms crossed, a typical body language sign saying “Leave me alone” Of course, nothing you notice when your drunk, then you think you are a regular Charisma Man when you're in fact are the Obnoxious Man. OK, I must have had about 20 beers by then but I was not getting drunk. It happens to me sometimes when I'm drinking for 2 days in a row, the second day I'm not getting drunk no matter how much I drink.

And I have a theory, a clever theory. The second and third day your brain is used to being drunk so no matter how much you drink you're not getting any drunk.

Well, I guess that it is quite easy to prove me wrong. Anyway, the guy moved closer to the girl and now he offered her a cigarette. Yes, everyone is smoking in China. And yet again she gave me the “Please take me out of here” look. And be sure, if I would have been just a wee bit tipsy I would have reacted forcefully and rescued here. But now I was sober and Charisma Man was nowhere to be seen.

I had 4 or 5 Heineken before I left to discover the rest of Huaihai Road. I walked for a few minutes and I ended up at a place with only foreigners. Laughing was the name, there were a few Chinese people, but I'm not in China to hang out with foreigners and I was just about to leave when some one put a beer in front of me.
- CHEERS!

OK, I had to stay for yet another beer but then I was out of there. There were 3 or 4 clubs next door. One of the places had the FUNKIETS decoration I had ever seen. A very nice place, but so much people so it was impossible to move around. There was a bar outside with a drink buffet. Drink as much as you can but I just wanted a beer and they didn't served beer. I asked the bouncer where I could find the bar.
- To the right.
I went inside and I tried again, too much people and I walked back to SOHO. I was back at my hotel at 4 o'clock, we had made a stop for a milkshake at McDonalds. No milkshake, what is going on around here? Don't they have milkshakes in Shanghai?

+++++++++++++++

Sunday 27th of May 2012 and I woke up at 12 o'clock praising myself for the red light outside my door. I had 20 beers yesterday and I had not been drunk and I was very happy to discover that I didn't have any hangover. And I was very happy that I didn't had any hangover when I had checked the pay per view movies in my room. Only Chinese, can of course be good movies. But Chinese subtitles and they were speaking Chinese.

So I guess they aren't used to International guests at this hotel even though they claim that Nixon and a whole lot of other international head of states used to live here when they were visiting Shanghai. But they might be busy doing other stuff while in Shanghai.

OK, no hangover and I had planned to spend the Sunday in my room watching movies while trying to get rid of my hangover. A bonus day in Shanghai, well, bonus day, I don't know, I'm quite homesick by now. I miss Sophia Muay Thai Gym and Bangkok Fight Club.

I called room service and I got my breakfast and then I decided to walk down the Huaihai Road towards the Japanese restaurant with the salmon fried rice where I would have my dinner in the evening, or late afternoon. I arrived there at 5 o'clock and they told me that they didn't opened until 5 thirty. At least I found out the name of the restaurant, Shinmachi, the place to visit if you ever visit Shanghai.

So I left for yet another walk around town. Shanghai is a beautiful city with many small streets and intersting alleys.

I'm walking down Huaihai Road towards Xin Tian Di

I passed the NU Lounge and there were people sitting on the balcony

Madang Road?

Alleys in Shanghai

Alleys in Shanghai

I'm walking around Shanghai waiting for the Shinmachi Japanese restaurant to open

I'm walking around Shanghai waiting for the Shinmachi Japanese restaurant to open

I'm walking around Shanghai waiting for the Shinmachi Japanese restaurant to open

I'm walking around Shanghai waiting for the Shinmachi Japanese restaurant to open

I'm walking around Shanghai waiting for the Shinmachi Japanese restaurant to open

I'm walking around Shanghai waiting for the Shinmachi Japanese restaurant to open

I'm walking around Shanghai waiting for the Shinmachi Japanese restaurant to open

I'm walking around Shanghai waiting for the Shinmachi Japanese restaurant to open

I'm walking around Shanghai waiting for the Shinmachi Japanese restaurant to open

I'm walking around Shanghai waiting for the Shinmachi Japanese restaurant to open

Garage sale China style

It was interesting walking around and I was quite happy for my bonus day. Chinese garage sale, a guy sitting on the street with a bag open to display items for sale. It was just rubbish, but people were interested in what he had to sell. So I stepped closer to see what it was he had to sell.

And it was just rubbish, but people stopped to check out the stuff and he had a CD case with sex movies. Or at least it looked like sex movies and the guys showed most interest in the CDs.

Well, I can't imagine that he made any money out of his sale. I would for sure not have taken the stuff even if he paid me to take the stuff.

I passed a Family Mart and I decided to go inside to see if they had any Minute Maid in China. I stepped inside the Family Mart and it was a striking difference from the Family Marts in Bangkok. Health food signs everywhere and it took me a while before I found the COOL DRINKS sign. I recognised the Minute Maid bottle even though it was all in Chinese. There was an orange on the label and I grabbed a bottle.

The Chinese people were playing cards, throwing dices and did several different marble games or whatever they call them where ever I looked. Same on the pubs and discos, they are throwing dices all the times and I have not figured out what it is.

I tried to ask a girl yesterday and she told me that the one with the least dots lost. OK, I could figure that out without having to ask.
- But what about all the hand signs?
- The one with most dots win OK, I had hit a wall. I didn't want to take any pictures of people playing, but the Chinese marble games, Majong, is that the name? They had many many marbles with Chinese signs on them and the very discussing in a spirited manner while playing.

I walked down a street and I spotted a pond and a park. When I came closer I discovered that it was a big pond. I was soon learning that I was in the Taipingqiao Garden.

And there were plenty people around the pond, most likely enjoying their Sunday off. Children playing and there were 2 ladies sitting over something that looked like a marble game. One of them was wearing pyjamas, in the middle of the day!

Wearing a pyjamas and I wasn't so sure they were playing a game. Maybe the lady in the pyjamas was a fortune-teller. Maybe she was wearing pyjamas to give her a mystical and enigmatic look to attract customers.

Well, she looked more like she was on the run from a funny farm. But who am I to judge, if the pyjamas get her more customer the pyjamas is good for her, that is what matters. Not what I think, my thought will not put food on her table and clothes on her children.

Taipingqiao Garden

Taipingqiao Garden

Taipingqiao Garden

The Taipingqiao Garden is located next to the Xin Tian Di and the Japanese restaurant Shinmachi is on the other side of Xin Tian Di. So I was carefully avoiding the Xin Tian Di. Not because I had made a tit out of myself, but I didn't want to meet any one that I had meet the previous days asking me to sit down drink beer.

Shinmachi was open when I arrived and they asked me if I had an reservation.
- Reservation??!! No I don't have any reservation
- We're full, but you can sit outside
- I want to sit inside
I had planned to eat several of the salmon fried rice and fat chance I was going to sit outside on full display.
- LOOK AT PORKY!!! A CUBIC TON OF SALMON FRIED RICE!! IS HE EATING ALL OF THAT? WHAT A WANKER!!!

The Waitress came back and she told me that I could sit inside if I was finished before 7.
- No problem.
I ordered 3 salmon fried rice, a bottle of water, fresh orange juice and a teriyaki chicken. I asked them to put one of the salmon fried rice in a box for take away. I wanted to bring one salmon fried rice to Tjing Tjing at Nu Lounge around the corner. Yeah, I know, I could just have skipped the NU Lounge, but that would have seemed strange and she might spend the rest of her life wondering what happened to Porky. And it is a nice and very friendly girl and I like to talk with her so I have decided to go there for a cup of tea after my salmon fried rice.

Salmon fried rice at Shinmachi Japanese Restaurant in Shanghai

Look at the dish above, how are they doing that? The Japanese, they have chopped the vegetables to the size of a rice grain. When I'm chopping onion and stuff it is for sure coming out in the size of a super tanker and that's even though I concentrate to make it small.
Hmm, maybe they have a machine?

I don't think so. I was very impressed by the Japanese way of Cooking and especially how they are chopping things and I bought Japanese kitchen knives in belief that they would make me a magician in the kitchen, at least when it came to chopping things. But the knives didn't help me very much, and it turned out to be yet another disappointment.

Fresh orange juice, almost impossible to drink. Very sour and this happens sometimes with fresh oranges. Should be lucky when buying oranges or they taste like and I must add sugar. Remember what I always have said: You can eat the ice cream and whipped cream without the strawberries. But you can't eat the strawberries without the ice cream and whipped cream unless you add sugar.

And it is the same with oranges, with the difference that sometimes when you buy oranges it is like chewing on wood.

I brought my bag with salmon fried rice and I left for the NU Lounge. I ordered a pot of tea and a brownie. I gave the salmon fried rice to Tjing Tjing and she was happy, I learnt that she liked salmon yesterday. I got a big pot of tea, and I can't think of ever getting a better pot of tea (regarding the size) at any restaurant I had been on.

I was enjoying my tea and brownie when I girl came up on the balcony. She came over and she sat down next to me. She ordered a drink and we started to talk and time turned very quick. I had planned to go to buy some souvenirs, snacks to hand out when I'm back in Bangkok. They love sweets at the condo office. But they girl and I was talking and suddenly we had killed 2 hours.

And yes, she was beautiful and single. She didn't want to get married with a Chinese guy and she didn't want to get married with a Japanese guy. OK, I guess that you can figure out where this is going.

She told me that Chinese girls were very beautiful and I told her that Japanese girls were very beautiful and I told her that Japanese girls have the cutest nose in the world. She started to pinch her nose.
- Do you think it is different from the Chinese girl's noses?

She was working for an advertising company in Shanghai and she was working extra as a translator, English to Japanese. We were talking about the River tours and as she had been living here for 2 years she gave me some pointers. I told her that I had been asking at my hotel for river tours. I wanted to take a tour on the river but they told me that the day tour was 8 hours and the evening tours were 4 hours.
- 8 hours??!! 4 hours??!!
- Yeah, it is a very long river
- Motherfoocker, I will jump over board after an hour

But the Japanese girl told me that I could take a ferry over the river, as good as the tours and I would get the sight of Shanghai water front. She told me about the Bund, several boats leaving from there but she recommended me to go to the South part instead.
- There are so many tourists at The Bund.
She asked Tjing Tjing if she had a map over Shanghai and she went to look for a map. She came up with nothing and she recommended us to go check out the tourist information across the street from NU Lounge.

We paid our bill and we left for the tourist information and I was soon having a lot of information and I decided to take a taxi to The Bund. The Japanese girl gave me so much information brochure and pamphlets about the night life in Shanghai. I told her that Tokyo was much more fun than Shanghai and she told me that she loved Shanghai and that I had to come back.

Aladdin's adventure at The Bund - Yet another stupid slide show

Well, that was an exciting slide show, prepare yourself for yet another stupid slide show tomorrow when I will go back to The Bund in daylight. I wish I had brought my camera, but that is too much to carry and my pocket Canon will have to do.

I spent an hour and a half at The Bund and I decided to walk back. We had passed through some interesting areas with the taxi on our way to The Bund and I wanted to go check it out and If I was lucky I would find a place to buy all the Chinese snacks. I walked and walked and there were no sign of any interesting. I was actually walking through a deserted area in Shanghai and no people around. I was soon coming to a big road and I heard music.

No lights and I were passing a dark park and the music was obviously coming from the park. I went inside to explore the place.

The only light was from a red neon light saying “Yuyuan Erdos Plaza” and there were plenty people dancing in the park. There were 2 places next to each other where they were dancing. It looked like Tango to Chinese music.

At the big area they were dancing in a cirkle around a loudspeaker in the middle. It looked quite funny with all the people dancing in a circle while dancing in circles.

Dancing at Yuyuan Erdos Plaza in Shanghai

Dancing at Yuyuan Erdos Plaza in Shanghai

Dancing at Yuyuan Erdos Plaza in Shanghai

Dancing at Yuyuan Erdos Plaza in Shanghai

Dancing at Yuyuan Erdos Plaza in Shanghai

Dancing at Yuyuan Erdos Plaza in Shanghai

Dancing at Yuyuan Erdos Plaza in Shanghai

I hear people from Taiwan, Hong Kong and people working in China complaining about “Mainland” Chinese people. How rude they are and they don't like them. But I have not have had any problem in Shanghai. They have all actually been very nice. And I was soon surrounded by people at the dance.

They wanted to know where I came from and of course, they wanted me to dance. I started to limp and I told them that I would be back when my foot was better. No way that I will dance. But it was nice and an interesting experience.

Of course, if you didn't like to dance there was karaoke. A girl with a computer and a microphone. But I didn't have time for Karaoke. Dance and Karaoke so I might be close to the interesting area we had passed in the taxi on the way to The Bund and Huangpu River.

But I never found anything interesting and when I came to a big high way I was tired. I had been walking around for 6 hours. OK, minus the 2 hours I spent with the Japanese girl. So I decided to take a taxi to Huaihai Road to see if the store with the Chinese snacks was open. I didn't have any hope for them to be open at this time, but I could walk to my hotel from there.

I was lucky, the shop with the Chinese snacks was closed, but the door was open and they let me do some shopping even though they were closed.

They were busy closing down when I arrived and I had soon the whole staff around me helping me to buy stuff. I don't know what all the stuff is, but they told me that it was sweets. When it was time to pay for the stuff I was in for a shock. I thought Chinese were good at calculation.

They seem to have problem to calculate the price even though they had a modern calculator. I had done the round up in my head long before they had figured out the price.

When I finally had paid for the snacks I said thank you for opening the shop for me and I left. I walked back home to my hotel and I was about to stop at a convenient store to buy some real snacks, but myself discipline stopped me.

I can drink water at my room, a great plan. I opened the mini bar first thing when I was back at my room and I ate potato chips. But I put back the chocolate again even though I was a wee bit hungry. They have room service, but I hope I'm asleep before I'm getting too hungry. Room service, I called them when I came back to my room Sunday morning.

They told me that it would take 30 minutes to get a smoked salmon toast. I cancelled the order, I have been there before, ordering room service coming back home from the pub. I fall asleep and it has happened more than one time that they ask me if I want my 4 hamburgers when I order breakfast to my room.
- Hamburgers?!!
- Yes, you ordered hamburgers 5 o'clock in the morning, but you never opened the door. We have them in the kitchen for you
- No thanks, I don't need my hamburgers

+++++++++++++++

Monday 28th of May 2012 and I just knew that it was more than 10 o'clock when I woke up. I had put the alarm on 10 o'clock. The alarm clock that the hotel provides was obviously not working because it was quarter to 12. I remembered why I always ordered a wakeup call instead of using the alarm clocks in my hotel rooms I have stayed in. You can trust a wakeup call most of the times.

I ordered breakfast, bacon & egg with a pot of tea to my room. I packed my bag while waiting for my breakfast and I cannot fit the snacks in my weekend bag.

A little set back and it looks like I will have to carry a bag or two as carry on luggage. The breakfast arrived and they had forgotten my tea so I had to wait for another 5 or 10 minutes before I could enjoy my breakfast. When I was ready I took a taxi to The Bund to check out the scenery in day light.

I arrived to The Bund and it was a sunny day so it was hot. There was not much tourists around when I arrived, but there were several couples with wedding dresses that had their pictures taken at The Bund so this was obviously the place where the Shanghai people had they wedding pictures taken.

I spent 30 minutes walking up and down the Bund before I left. I saw the house with the big SAMSUNG sign on it, or at least I thought it was the building. I saw it yesterday from the taxi and it looked like a busy area so I decided to walk down the street towards the building. I ended up on a walking street, or as they called it in Shanghai, a pedestrian street. Motherfoocker, I walked and walked and the darn street never came to an end.

Shanghai pedestrian street

Shanghai pedestrian street

Shanghai pedestrian street from the “SAMSUNG building” side

Millions of people on the pedestrian street. But no sign of any milk shake or soft ice. It seems like I will have to go home without having tried the Chinese milk shake. It took me a very long time to reach the end of the walking street and there it was, the building with the huge SAMSUNG sign.

Turned out that the building with the SAMSUNG sign was the “New Emporium” shopping mall. I walked around for a bit and I passed a place called COLD STONE creamery and I went inside to see if they had any milk shake. They had shake on the menu and I ordered a milk shake.
- What kind of ice cream
- Strawberry
- What size?
I asked for the biggest size and he pointed at a cup in the first row, this cup was for sure not as big as the one in the other row.

So I asked for this size and this was no problem. Sometimes in they refuse to serve milkshake from the biggest cup in Bangkok.
- This is not for milk shake.
- But I pay the triple price, no problem.
- Not for milk shake, they explain and they serve me a small milk shake

But here it was no problem and the guy put ice cream on the counter. I was puzzled, but I don't know how they are making milk shake in China. But there was an alarm going off. - What the
He started to knead the ice cream like a dough and he added more ice cream.
- What the
Now he had 5 kilos of ice cream on the darn bench and he was kneading the darn ice cream. He asked what kind of topping I wanted and now all my alarm bells went off. I told the guy that I wanted a milk shake. He looked at me.
- You have to add milk, I said and I did the internationally recognised sign for putting the cup with ice cream and milk under the mixer to make it a milk shake. I did a humming sound at the same time, the internationally recognised sign of a mixer working in ice cream and milk.

Now he added water to the ice cream and I screamed “MILK” and now one of the customers helped him by explaining what a milk shake was. He went to the shop next door to get milk and now he mixed some of the ice cream and he poured the milk shake in a small cup.

- I want the big cup!!
He gaped at me and he opened the door to get more ice cream from the freezer.
- What the You have 5 kilos of ice cream already, use some of the ice cream you destroyed when mixing it with the water. By now I was accepting the water instead of milk so I could foock off out of there.

He looked at me and he didn't have a clue of what to do. And here I was thinking that Chinese people were the brightest people on earth.

Putting 1 and 1 together when I bought my snacks turned out to be a real problem. Reading a map when I ask the taxi driver to take me to a certain place and now, on top of all that, the milk shake spectacle. I was jumping up and down impatiently and if I would have known this I would have passed the place.
- Yeah, pure the water ice cream mix in the big cup and add the milk/ ice cream mix so I can get out of here.

I paid 64 Scooby Doo dollars for the milk shake, people work and they make foock all for salary and they charge 64 Scooby Dollars for a milk shake. If you charged that in Sweden you would for sure soon be out of business.
The milk shake disappeared like an Aspirin, the cup looked big but there wasn't very much in the cup. Now I had to carry the darn thing until I found a trash bin.

I ended up at People's Park and there was funfair but it didn't seem like there was much people. Of course, if the attractions if of the same quality as the drills we got onboard Maersk Cassandra. Or as the “Happy Tiger” wrench i used I would not dare to go for a ride.

I think the name of the square at the SAMSUNG and People's Park is Century Plaza. I started to walk down the Xizan Road but it looked boring and I walked back and I continued down the Nanjing Road. And I walked and walked and I passed several shopping malls. All selling the same stuff.

It must have been walking for 2 hours or so and the shops ended and I really don't know where I was. I have a map in my pocket but I don't want to bring it out in the open looking like a lost tourist. But now I had no choice, I had sour feet after all the walking and I was hungry. My plan was to go for some salmon fried rice. So I brought out the map and I discovered that I had walked through half of Shanghai and I was way off.

I was tired and I decided to take a taxi back to the SAMSUNG building and the Century Plaza. And from there I would walk down the Xiziang Road that I had started to walk down a few hours before. And the Xiziang Road would take me to Huaihai Road and the Japanese restaurant Shinmachi. And if I were lucky, a real long shot. Darn impossible, but I was stopped by a beautiful girl at Century Plaza and she told me that I was well dressed. Well, I will never see her again.

All the shopping malls and I was looking for a pair of shoes, it is a bit of a bother to find my size in Bangkok. But as I had seen many big Chinese guys I thought that I would give it a try. Size 43 is the biggest and I gave up the whole idea. I can't say that I like shopping and everything they have here I can buy at home.

Well, except for the handmade shoes I ran in to last Saturday. But no way I'm going to stay here for a month for a pair of shoes. Now I'm homesick.

It was nice to wake up without a hangover yesterday and if I had known that I would have gone back home yesterday. But then i would never have met the Japanese girl.

Walking down the Xizang Road and I missed the Huaihai Road so I had to go back and from Huaihai Road I had about 15 minutes to the Japanese restaurant.

I had a milk shake and I found a soft ice cream on my way walking down Xizang Road towards Huaihai Road. But I would not mind to have an salmon fried rice and by now I had been walking around for 5 hours so I needed energy. I got a table at the Japanese restaurant Shinmachi without anyone asking about any reservation. I sat down and I asked for 2 salmon fried rice and a bottle of water.

I went to NU Lounge for a cup of tea when I was finished at the Japanese restaurant. But there were 2 people going up to the balcony and I decided to walk back to my hotel. I stopped at a mini mart to buy some Minute Maid on the way. Not 7 Eleven, but the same thing as in Phnom Pen. Red and green lines outside and I was thinking about 7 Eleven. Well, I guess that's' the whole idea.

I was limping back to my hotel, all the walking had made my feet sour and my shoes are not made for walking around for 6 hours non-stop. I had planned to go to the Italian restaurant for some smoked salmon and avocado. But I will stay on my room resting my feet instead.

I discovered a package on the table when I came in to my room. What is this? I looked and it was a happy birth day gift from the hotel. I had forgotten all about my birthday and thanks for reminding me!!

I really don't understand why people like to celebrate birthdays. It was fun to get the gift as a child, but now I can buy what I want to have. Getting older is not very fun. I should not have minded being 25 years old for the rest of the life.

There was an e-mail from the Japanese girl and she wrote:
Did you enjoy The Bund a lot?
I recommend that you will visit Bar Rough next time which is one of my favourites at The Bund.
The scenery was wonderful!!

Anyway could you please tell me when you come to SH next time?
I would like to take you nice places!

Well, that's the difference when you drink tea instead of beer. When I drink beer it is:
- Foock off twat or I call the Police!!
When I drink tea it is a different tune:
- Anyway could you please tell me when you come to SH next time? I would like to take you nice places!

Well, I'm not sure she understands what she is up to. Taking me to bars! And it would be very strange to go bar hopping with her drinking soda water. But this is still better than going bar hopping with her drinking 25 beers making a tit out of myself.

+++++++++++++++

Tuesday 29th of May 2012 and finally time to go home. It has been fun, the 3 days of drinking beer. Walking around Shanghai for 2 days waiting for my flight was not all that fun. The Bund, it was OK to see but it is also something I could have lived without having seen.

And I was as surprised in Shanghai as I was when I was in Turkey. Turkey, when hearing the name I'm thinking about rude Middle East people, but they turned out to be very friendly in Turkey.

Same in China, I have been in Taiwan and Hong Kong and I have heard a lot about the mainland Chinese. I have been in China before, a small town outside Shanghai but I was still imagining spitting, hawking, slurping and rude people dressed like peasants. I was surprised, friendly people and beautiful women and handsome men.

Well, I guess it is a different story out in the country side. Slave labours and miners dying by the minute caught in mines. And how many times have we read about poison in child food and toys? But Shanghai was nice.

But even though it was nice I doubt that I will ever go back. Night life, was really fun. But this was the first time for me in Shanghai and I don't think it will be so fun coming back the second time, most likely the same Filipino band playing and the same restaurants. Then I think I prefer to go back to Tokyo even though it was more expensive. But the flight is longer and I don't fancy sitting on an airplane so the best would be to stay in Thailand. And when I'm home I can keep my diet on track.

I checked out from my hotel and it had been a nice stay, except for the knocking on the door all the time to ask if they could clean my room. I turned on the red light and the knocking on my door stopped. Nice, but I could not believe my foocking ears when they started to call on the phone instead.
- Can we clean your room?
- In an hour or so

Then they called again after 45 minutes and asked about the darn cleaning again. But otherwise it was very nice and I can recommend the place if you ever go to Shanghai. Well, anyway, I checked out from the hotel and I got in to a taxi and I told the driver to take me to Terminal 2 at Shanghai Du Pong International Airport and we took off.

I was told that it would take about 1 hour to get to the airport but we made it in 45 minutes so I had plenty time to kill. I had about 2 hours before the check in opened and as my small toe on the left foot hurt after all the walking around yesterday I could only limp around the airport.

There were 3 restaurants on the 2nd level, 1 Chinese, 1 Japanese and 1 Italian. I choose the Italian and I had a hamburger and I had killed 15 minutes. 10 minutes waiting for the hamburger and 5 minutes to eat the hamburger.

I checked in and I got a aisle seat on the last row, seat 63B. I tried to check-in on the internet but the seat selection didn't work. They told me that the last row was full when I checked-in.
- How is that possible? I'm the third to check-in so there must be plenty seats available.
He started to work with his computer again and he called a girl, most likely the Supervisor because she was helping the check-in staff at all the check-in counters.

It took quite some time at the check in but he managed to get me an aisle seat on the last row. I said thank you and I went to the Immigration and the security check. I bought some Black Label and I went to a restaurant and I ordered spaghetti and meat sauce.
I was not impressed, the tea was very good. But they brought me a plastic fork and spoon for the spaghetti and I asked if they had real cutlery available at the restaurant. And the girl brought me a Chinese styled spoon and I said “never mind” and I had the food with a plastic fork.

Preparing Thai Airways TG 665 for departure to Bangkok

I was happy to discover that we would fly with a Boeing 777 and the seat was very comfortable. Seems like most of the passengers were Chinese tourists on a group tour to Thailand.

We took off and they served dinner and it was good food as always on Thai Airways. And the staff was friendly as always so it was a good flight. I felt asleep for an hour or two and when I woke up I went back to the galley to ask for a glass of orange juice.

There was a Stewardess from Taiwan sitting in the galley and she gave me orange juice and we started to talk. We were soon joined by a Stewardess from China, both living in Bangkok. And I spent most of the remaining time in the galley talking with the Stewardesses.

When I returned to my seat the Stewardess from Taiwan was soon following. She tapped me on my shoulder and she held up some cake for me.

This was embarrassing, I could not say no when she was so sweet to bring me cake. And I was the only one that got cake and the other passengers were looking at me thinking: “What the foock is wrong with Porky? Can't he get enough?”

I finished my cake and I went back to the galley to scold the Stewardess for foocking up my diet. Yeah, sitting in the last row flying monkey class is the best, next to the galley and the snacks and beautiful Stewardesses. As soon as they are ready with the dinner they relax in the back and I can be there to flirt with them.

And a 4 hours flight is OK in a Boeing, long haul is of course best enjoyed in BIZ. But now I am so small so flying monkey is no problem.

I spent the rest of the flight with the Stewardesses and it was fun. Time turned real quick and it was soon time to go sit down for the landing at Suvarnabhumi International.

There was a Steward that recognised me and I recognised him. He recognised me as soon as I sat down after the boarding and I heard him telling the Stewardesses in the galley that I spoke Thai. Well, I must have been drunk last time flying with him. Well, anyway, it was a very nice flight and as always, friendly staff onboard Thai Airways. A slight difference from flying with SAS where they seems to think that passengers is a bad thing.
- Oh no, we have passengers! A lot of extra work
Yeah, this is the attitude that made SAS to one of the greatest airlines in the world.

+++++++++++++++

Wednesday 30th of May 2012 and I woke up quarter to 11 and my school started at 10. I has set my alarm to go off at 8 thirty but I had forgotten to turn on the darn thing.

So I have to wait until tomorrow for my Thai language school. I had actually been looking forward to school and my Teacher correcting my home work.

I spent the extra time shopping for hazelnuts, bananas and yoghurt for my smoothies and I was off to Sophia Muay Thai Gym at 3 o'clock.

I don't have any pain in my arms, but I can still feel something in my right arm and shoulder so we kept to the kicking and kneeing. My Teacher will go to the Doctor on Saturday and he had booked a time for me.
- 9 o'clock Saturday morning and we meet her at 08:40

OK, so let's see what the Doctor says on Saturday. I walked back home and I had a smoothie before I went to my bed to read my Thai books. I finished 2 out of 3 boos before I felt asleep on top of my bed. I woke up 5 minutes before 7
- MOTHERFOCKER!!! Bangkok Fight Club!!

I grabbed my stuff and I dashed off to Bangkok Fight Club and I arrived 20 minutes late. There were 4 people training plus our Teacher, 2 girls and 2 boys. I joined class as soon as I had changed shoes and we started with running and jumping.

Punching the bags

Punching the bags

Punching the bags

Throwing the medicine ball

Throwing the medicine ball

We did some shadow boxing before we started to punch the bags. I had some pain in my right shoulder after the shadow boxing so I only touched the pads with my right arm. I don't want the arm the get any worse and I want to start the sparring ASAP. We did the medicine ball when we finished the pads and then it was sit ups and cool down and I walked back home.

I got an e-mail from the Japanese girl, she is going home to Osaka for a few days next week and she wondering if I want to come visit.
- I just got off a flight and I'm not looking forward to my next flight.
But if she is back in Osaka in October I wouldn't mind coming to visit her. Of course, depending on the weather. Or I might swing by Shanghai to see her, but then again. Do I want to go visit Shanghai again? Well, to see the Japanese girl, nothing else.

+++++++++++++++

Thursday 31st of May 2012 and I woke up at 11 o'clock. DARN! What's wrong with my alarm clock, it was set to go off at 8 thirty but not a sound from the darn thing. When I checked the alarm I discovered that I had it on radio and not on the buzzer. Well, tomorrow...

I had plenty time, my Thai school don't begin until 1 o'clock. The first thing I heard when I woke up was the girl taking care of my flowers ringing and banging on my front door. I opened the door and I went for a shower and it was soon time for me to leave for school.

When I passed the condo office they told me that he girl had been waiting for 2 hours.
- She has a key
- Yes, but you had locked the other lock and she could not use the key
- DARN! You're right, but you could have called on the phone
- We called all your numbers but no answer
- DARN! I have forgot to turn on my phone

And when I checked my house phone in my bed room I discovered that the phone was disconnected. Well, it turned out OK anyway and I left for the subway and my school.

When I arrived to school my Teacher handed out fruit to us and I asked her to peel my fruit. And of course, I took a picture.

We spent two hours in school studying the different tones and it was a waste of time for me. I have already given up the idea to learn the tones. I can hear the difference when I hear the tones after each other. But listen to only one and I don't have any clue which tone it is.

Well, anyway, it was fun in school and the time turned quick. I went to 7 Eleven during the break for some orange drinking yoghurt and cheese and ham toast.

Yes, my busy schedule is not good for my diet. OK, it was because of me sleeping too long this morning that I didn't have time for breakfast. But I'm going straight for Sophia Muay Thai Gym after class so there is no time for my afternoon tuna. I finish at Sophia at 5 and I'm back home around 5 thirty so there is only time for a quick smoothie before it is time to leave for Bangkok Fight Club.

And they don't really have the “HEALTHY” choice at 7 Eleven, but their cheese and ham toast are quite good.

When we finished class I took the subway back home and I changed my clothes and I left for Sophia Muay Thai Gym. Our Canadian friend was skipping rope when I arrived and our Teacher was sparring with our Austrian friend's son.

My Teacher asked if I could do some sparring today and I told him that we could try
- Only with the left hand. But easy easy!!!

My arms were free from pain yesterday, but after the session at Bangkok Fight Club yesterday evening my right arm turned for the worse. And that's even though we only had a very light session with the pads.

I did a few rounds with our Teacher and my arms were for sure not getting any better. But now it is so boring with the kicking.

I was back home at 5 thirty and I had a quick smoothie, a shower and I left for Bangkok Fight Club. When I arrived there was a Thai girl and our Teacher. A few minutes later there was a guy from France arriving and we were 3 people plus our Teacher in today's class.

We started with sparring, the Thai girl wanted to do some sparring with me and we got started as soon as we were ready with the warm up. We did a few round of her punching me while I was blocking.

We did some technique training when we finished with the sparring and then we started with the pads and I joined in even though it would not make my arms any better. But I'm hoping for wonders when I go to the Doctor with my Teacher Saturday morning.

We finished the pads and we did sit ups and it was time to leave Bangkok Fight Club. I was back home quarter past 9 and I had a quick shower before I left to buy groceries at Tops Market.

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My Teacher have a friend that runs a bar on the other side of the river and we will go there on Saturday and we will have Swedish meatballs before we are leaving. He finishes work at 6 o'clock on Saturday and he will come here with our Canadian for some Swedish Meatballs. So I need to buy groceries.

I walked to Tops Market at Robinson on Sukhumvit Soi 19 with my shopping bag. I bought most of the stuff I need, but I will have to make another run for Tops Market tomorrow. Friday and no Thai language school so I have time before going to Sophia Muay Thai Gym. I need to buy leek, butter and stuff for my smoothies.

I need to prepare, not only for the Swedish Meatballs, I will also have to plan for Sunday in bed with hangover DVDs. And as I have started my new and healthy life I have skipped the milk shakes and from now on it is healthy smoothies on my menu.

I was back home from Tops Market at 10 thirty and I really hope I manage to fall asleep and that my alarm clock goes off as it should tomorrow so I can get out of bed at 8 thirty tomorrow morning.

The month of May 2012 has come to an end and we swing over to a hopefully much more exciting June 2012 for more adventures.