Sarah told me she had a great idea: we would keep it a secret-nobody would know that Bristol was pregnant. She told me that once Bristol had the baby she and Todd would adopt him. That way, she said, Bristol and I didn’t have to worry about anything. Sarah kept mentioning this plan. She was nagging-she wouldn’t give up. She would say, "So, are you gonna let me adopt him?" We both kept telling her we were definitely not going to let her adopt the baby. I think Sarah wanted to make Bristol look good, and she didn’t want people to know that her 17-year-old daughter was going to have a kid.

Levi's credibility is dubious at best, and it's about time to move on from Palin's potentially sordid personal life. If she does remain in politics, the constant attention to her Alaskan circus is only going to distract people from her lack of knowledge about, well, everything. Levi's continual spilling is actually making me vaguely sympathetic to Palin, especially since he gleefully points out to
Vanity Fair
that Sarah "doesn’t cook." No female Governor has time to come home and cook her kids dinner every night. I'm over it.

Photograph of Levi Johnston by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images.

Jessica Grose is a frequent Slate contributor and the author of the novel Sad Desk Salad. Follow her on Twitter.