Thursday, August 02, 2007

Through A door to Adore...

If there's a smoldering ember inside your heart like mine, that needs to be fanned into a flame, we need to sit with Jesus for one hour (or as long as we possibly can) once a week at least. We need to say nothing. Take no books. Perhaps pray the rosary when we first arrive before the tabernacle, but let those be our last words. I heard someone say that if you were planning a rendezvous with your lover, preparing to meet him or her, taking a bath, putting on some clean clothes, dabbing on some cologne, combing your hair, listening to "your song" in the car on the way to meet that person who's captured your heart, would you then also take a book to read once you were in their presence? Ooooh Ouch. Yet so many of us can't seem to just sit in His presence and listen with our hearts. Just BE with Jesus. Perhaps we might pray the rosary when we first arrive, or a decade or 3 Hail Mary's to calm us and to let Mary "clean us up" a little. But then let that be our 'last word' and give our whole selves to God in silence. Silence is such a lost gift in this frenzied and noisy age.

Let Our Lady take us to Jesus, her Son. Then sit... quietly,... wrapped in silence as was Mary. Trust me, it's really hard to do. I actually have a more contemplative side, so I can imagine how hard it is for a 'chatterbox' type. (you might think I'm a chatterer type but I'm really not.) When I have done this in the past, which wasn't real often, but after a while...you'll just be amazed. I was amazed this past Tuesday when I did sit before Jesus and his golden prairie tabernacle at the Holy Family Shrine after praying the rosary. Not for a full hour, but about 10 minutes after praying the rosary. Something inside me was touched and "lit up." I know it.

It had been a long time since I've done that...but it changed me just a little, for our Lord honors our attempts to sit at his feet or on his lap as "his kids" even when we bumble around. We might squirm for a while, but if we let him calm us down and hold us firmly until the fidgeting subsides, who knows what big or small transformation or mini or major miracle might occur in our own souls? How our thinking might possibly change about a problem, trial, worry, fear, or something else. I've been reminded quite frequently of this gift of adoration and told by the "inner voice" that is still, small and voluminous to "Come away with me!" Jesus is so passionately in love with me, but how many times I've ignored or pushed that "voice" aside.

I need desperately to set a weekly time and commit to it. Please pray for me that I will not 'think about it' anymore, but make the time and make that commitment to go before him one hour a week. Even if it's at the Shrine. I've ignored that prompting while I'm out there and that's just not good. I mean, I always find time to get on line and blalk (blog/talk) or blaw (blog/jaw) or blogviate... you get the drift. When it comes to actually going to the lovely adoration chapel at St. Robert, I've not done it much at all. I know once I commit it will be like anything else I commit to, not always easy. It's not about ease, it's about commitment and sometimes I'm horrible at commitment. It's not about going when it's always easiest for us, or 'on the way' to somewhere else. When I mess up in my commitments (no gym now for weeks...), I get bummed that I blew it and then it's so hard to recommit myself. Novenas the same thing happens. I did make one to St. Therese some months ago, every night I prayed to her and it was so soothing and precious a time! I tried this about 2 or 3 weeks ago and blew it after 2 nights.

Does anyone else go through this? I so want to sit at his feet...I know St Mary Mags is praying for me and all my blessed Saint friends are urging me to do it...but I keep getting distracted, not by bad stuff, but good stuff. And here's the deal: if I'm ignoring the Holy Spirit, it ends up being the same as if I was distracted by worldly lusts, etc... the deal is my obedience or disobedience. I don't want to be disobedient, but yet I keep dawdling, disobediently when that urge or prompting by the Holy Spirit comes. I've been awake plenty early today to go to the Chapel this morning and many other mornings as is evident when noticing the time I post on this here blog. Maybe early a.m. is the time for me? One day a week...that's all He asks, just one hour a week before his glorious face. I should always find some time at the Shrine, for I'm only steps away from our Lord there! I mean how much more easy could it get?? But I've "turned a deaf ear" and leave w/out having even peeked in the chapel to utter a quick prayer or wave to Jesus.

St. Therese of the Child Jesus and the HOLY FACE...pray for me! I need to be transformed and long to be transformed....or do I? I wanted to be a better guitar player, too, but I never put in the time and effort it really took so I've never improved and remain as mediocre as ever. Same with my drawing... not one bit of improvement if I don't do it! I wanted the results without the hard work to bring them about. I can't blow this. This is a one chance we get, here on earth to sit with our Lord "in heaven" to be with him in a spiritual union so deep and tender.....the veil is thin, but we put it off. Yet, that's where our 'sacrifice of praise' or our sacrifice of adoration can become a lovely perfume in the nostrils of Jesus. But I choose other things and because sometimes, and maybe most of the time, that thin veil SEEMS so thick, like a steel door inside the thickest of walls that I don't put forth the effort, but I find myself grasping for the results as if I'd done so all my life. Lord have mercy. Christ have mercy. Holy Mary, Mother of God pray for me a sinner, now and at the hour of my death. Amen. "Be not hearers of the word only, but doers..." and a familiar bell tolls.

Get up. Go to the door, go through the door and adore Our Lord...the Lover of your soul is waiting with bated breath, his own heart is racing to just be with you....go be with Him and be "lit up" for Jesus.

Thanks to all of you who may remember to pray for me, too. I appreciate it very much.

About Me

I returned to the "First Pre-denominational Church of Christ," (as my husband brilliantly 'dubbed' it) aka: the Catholic Church in Dec. 2004, after my husband told me he wanted to go back to the "faith of his youth." The decision to swim across the Tiber has cost dearly, but has been worth it all! AND we are new grandparents of twin boys this summer, 2010!