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1. Marries a very beautiful grandma 2. Takes you for “coffee breaks”
3. Tells the hearing aid joke… over and over again
4. Invents a zip sled by attaching three skis to each other
5. Says “I’ll be dipped” until you throw him in the lake
6. Teaches you to water-ski
7. Learns to accept the fact that you will never actually enjoy water-skiing
8. Teaches you to drive the boat
9. Gives you your first boat driver’s license
10. Puts up a stoplight in his basement so you can ride your bike on the “road”
11. Finds and refurbishes a Power Wheels Jeep for you
12. Helps you build bird houses
13. Helps you build horse stables
14. Helps you build footstools
15. Figures out the best ways to keep squirrels out of the bird feeder
16. Eats oatmeal for breakfast every single morning
17. Never figures out a quiet way to make breakfast
18. Falls asleep in his favorite recliner
19. Makes lots of stops at McDonalds for “senior coffee”
20. Builds electric shock machines Continue reading →