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2.27.2016

Donald Trump Wins Ku Klux Klan Presidential Nomination

LAST UPDATED @ 11:48AM (2.27.2016)

Donald Trump clinches the Ku Klux Klan presidential nomination with a unanimous win in the former Confederate States of America, which is what the KKK believes Trump is referring to when he promises to make America great again.

DIXIE (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Ku Klux Klan (KKK) chapters in the South confirmed Republican presidential frontrunner Donald Trump had unanimously won the contest to be the KKK presidential nominee. Trump, who was also given the newly-created KKK title "Grand Imperial Giant Cyclops Wizard," announced he hoped to wrap up the GOP presidential nomination by the end of March.

"Donald Trump has won the Ku Klux Klan presidential nomination. We were just waiting on results from Alabama and Mississippi, both of which are routinely late and have an archaic nominating process called a 'hollerin' caucus,'" declared a masked man in a white robe wearing a pointy hat.

The KKK election official continued, "The Ku Klux Klan believes Donald Trump will make America great again, and the KKK strongly believes that greatness lasted from 1861 to 1865 when the South became the Confederate States of America to defend slavery."

"Trump's rhetoric has been pretty clear on the superiority of White Protestants over everyone else. That's why we are also giving Trump the title of 'Grand Imperial Giant Cyclops Wizard,' which makes him president of the KKK," explained the shrouded man.