Oksana and Mel's troubles began at an Australian placenta ceremony. Lawyers bug Lindsay Lohan to testify about her strip search. Zac Efron blows $2000 on booze and strippers. Heidi Montag is missing. Wednesday gossip is a hot mess.

Remember how Mel Gibson threatened to kill Oksana Grigorieva over an interaction with their gardener? Turns out it happened during a placenta-burying ceremony in their backyard, during which Oksana and Mel watched a gardener plant Oksana's placenta in a hole in their backyard, mingled in the roots of a Santa Lucia fir tree meant to honor then-newborn daughter Lucia. Apparently Oksana smiled at the gardener, because ordering a man to handle the putrid waste expelled from your loins is a known seduction technique. Naturally, this prompted Mel to fly into a jealous rage, even though he's the one who ordered the placenta ceremony, since they do it in the part of Australia where he grew up. (Western Massachsetts?) [TMZ, image via Getty]

Speaking of Oksana Grigorieva, the black eye in this photograph supposedly belongs to her, caused by Mel. [Radar]

In the Gossip Girl-like soap opera of Gossip Girl stars' real lives, Ed Westwick is giving Jessica Szohr the cold shoulder after he dumped her for flirting with his friend. Now the rest of Gossip Girl's cast is joining Westwick's fatwa against Szohr, uninviting her from parties and the like. Her publicist says she's too busy to go, anyway. [P6]

Ousted from Jersey Shore, Angelina Pivarnick claims she's launching a new show on a network that is not MTV. She made the surprise announcement at a "Free Lindsay Lohan" rally. [Crushable]

Lawyers launching a class action lawsuit again Lynwood Correctional Facility want to depose Lindsay Lohan to ask her about her strip and body cavity searches. "I find it curious that aong the tens of thousands of women who can testify... these attorneys are attempting to depose Lindsay," lawyer Shawn Chapman Holley says. "Curious" is definitely the operative world. [TMZ]

Dina and Ali paid a second visit to Lindsay in jail. This may have prevented Inferno director Matthew Wilder from visiting her, because she's already used up all her visits on the day he showed up. But really, who wants their boss to visit them in jail? [Us, Radar]

Final LiLo item: She will reportedly be out of jail in less than a week, and because the incarceration-ravaged starlet is "a little upset," she's requesting time off between jail and rehab to "spend with her family." No, Michael, that doesn't mean you. [People]

Zac Efron and High School Musical co-star Corbin Bleu (whose name reminds me of a chicken dish, and who is currently acting on Broadway) blew $2000 on lap dance and booze at Flashdancers. Zac and Corbin were accompanied by "one other male friend, who paid for everything." Maybe hetero-stripper ogling a diversionary tactic of the Hollywood down low? Anyway, the grabbed three brunettes and partied in the VIP lounge until 3AM on the day of the premiere of Zefron's new movie, Charlie St. Cloud. [P6]

Sensing, perhaps, the fame and riches that reside underneath Sharon Stone's skirt, a bug flew up into her dress during an auction in Southampton this weekend. "One amused onlooker said Stone put her hand up the dress and 'started the wiggle to get the bug fly free.'" Nobody saw her cooch, though, Basic Instinct be damned. [P6]

Kevin Jonas (of the singing Jonases) and his wife got handsy and dirty danced at a club. Abstinence advocates getting down post-nuptials is always entertaining. [P6]

Wyclef Jean's bid for the Haitian presidency has "put him in conflict" with former Fugee Pras, who is backing another candidate. Hopefully one who isn't already corrupt, before political office was even a twinkle in his eye. [P6]

After quitting a European TV show, Heidi Montag has gone off the radar. Her father hasn't heard fro her in so long, he's thinking about driving down to California to find her. [Radar]

A new Roman Polanski rape accuser says the director handcuffed and sodomized her when she was twenty-one years old, in 1974. She is writing a book about it. The book will be called Audacity. [Radar]

A lady claiming to be Michael Jackson's love child claims she is the victim of a Byzantine plot to deny her existence "involving murder, abduction, and Diana Ross' sister." Also, she wants money. [TMZ]

Sister, Sister star Tamera Mowry is engaged—for the second time—to Fox News correspondent Adam Housley. Years ago, they were engaged and broke it off—only to realize, when their love hit reruns, that it was actually pretty awesome. [E!]

Condoleeza Rice—who is a clasically trained pianist—accompanied Aretha Franklin and the Philadelphia Symphony at a charity fundraiser in Philadelphia. Condi and Aretha's duets included "I Say a Little Prayer" and "My Country 'Tis of Thee." [WaPo]