But I should take a step back and acknowledge that this new Dumbo movie is Tim Burton’s ‘reimagining’ of the Disney classic. It’s not a ‘remake’. So clearly there were some liberties taken on the story.

I also want to say that the animation is dope.

Dumbo’s mom actually looks like an elephant which wasn’t a guarantee when this movie was announced. Tim Burton is a maniac. That elephant could’ve been wearing eyeliner and fingerless gloves. We dodged a bullet here.

Dumbo was a special movie for me. As a kid who felt isolated (and as an adult who still feels isolated) the story of this baby elephant being ripped from his mother and turned into an abusive circus animal really hit home.

So the first obvious break from that appeal is that there were two characters in Dumbo: the mouse and Dumbo. This new movie has two annoying child actors, Colin Farrell, Danny DeVito and Michael Keaton. That’s way too many people.

This movie is no longer about an elephant that’s alone. It’s become so wack rescue mission to get his mom back. I bet Dumbo doesn’t even get drunk in this. I swear if I don’t see a single pink elephant on parade, I’m demanding my money back.

The scene where Dumbo’s mom gets taken from him because she freaks out after all of the other elephants make fun of her son’s ears is heartbreaking and it’s the beginning of 80 straight minutes of crying.

In this movie, it looks like she just gets like, bought into a different circus and that’s not heartbreaking. That’s business, baby.

Give me a talking mouse. Give me racist crows. Give me sad Dumbo alone in a cruel world. Leave in Danny DeVito though. He should be in every movie.

Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you are HYPED for this Dumbo movie. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.

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