CoHuSl
A strange girl has shown up in another strange girl's garage. Together, can they figure out just what is going on? Will they be able to get the strange girl claiming to be Twilight Sparkle home? ·MerlosTheMad

Congratulations on choosing this, the first edition of A Brief History of Equestria!

For far to long, the vitally important role of educating our foals of the history of our nation has been delegated to Folk Lore and word of mouth, while the realities of the past have been documented, stored and educated only to the elite. It is therefore the intent of myself, the Royal Historical Society, and the Royal Ministry of Education to provide the common pony with access to a document that offers as full a history of Equestria as can be practically provided, which is the tome you now hold in your hooves.

Keep in mind that no single book cannot replace a properly structured and scheduled classroom on the subject, and while an Encyclopedia format would give a much more comprehensive narrative, the copious amounts of information would render the exercise counter-productive. As such, this book can only give what amounts to a summary of an abridged version at best. It is my hope that everypony who reads this gains an insatiable thirst for more. Hopefully with further editions, more knowledge can be included, along with a collection of tie-in texts that focus more closely on specific areas of interest.

-Twilight Sparkle, M.B.A., on behalf of the Royal Ministry of Education.

Middle English is Fun English. Don't know how to spell something? Make it up! If you can make a reader go 'seems legit,' you're good.

However, as Luna is still using somewhat modern spelling for most of the shorter words, it's probable that a professional Linguist would still consider this Early Modern English. Late Middle English at best.

What I put into the Magic Google Translate for Luna's signiture was "May you rest well. Lady-Princess Luna, Dictator of the Beautiful Night." When I put what that gave me back in to reconvert to English, it comes out "May you rest well. The lady-moon, the dictator Beautiful Night." Not to bad. could be worse.

AND BEFORE ANY FANS GRIPE: Dictator was originally the Roman term for an Absolute Ruler, and bore no negative connotations. Since it was often given in times of termoil to Cincinatus types who willingly gave up power after about a year (ten if times were especially bad), it was often considered a GOOD title for one's ruler to have.

Then we got a punch of douchebags who used and abused the title and so messed it up forever. FOREEVERR!!

Don't be surprised if the Table of Contents change. It will all depend on whether or not I can think of enough information to justify being its own chapter. Expect a lot of stuff to be yanked from my butt, with plenty of fanon and headcanon in regards to the founders.

I know that it says "Brief" History. But remember: This is Twilight who is at the head of the project. Brevity and Twilight Sparkle do not mix.

Now then, as you can see, after Discord I intend to have Equestria be similar to Pre-Unification Germany: Lots and lots and lots of small statelets with a shared history, culture and ethnicity, but each quite different from the others. However, I don't have a very large list of different Pony Nation ideas. Perhaps you can help? If you can come up with a Pre-Unification pony nation that 1) Is a major shout out to a real life nation, 2) Has a suffitiently clever pony-pun, 3) a brief summary of the culture and its history, I'll consider adding it to the list. Please list your ideas in the comments for this chapter, so that we can all see your work in one place. Also, Read the list and other comments before adding your own. Here's what I have:

Canterlot (Surprisingly yes, Blueblood actually has real and tenable political power [be afraid]. But it's stupedly weak as the seat of the Federal Government [Celestia/Luna] is also there)

Æthelric is a real Anglo-Saxon name. It means "noble ruler." Now, I can't say just how noble my Æthelric is, but he is certainly entitled to that name as he is a "ruler of nobles." *rimshot* As you can tell, I thoroughly enjoyed my "History of the English Language" class. Linguistically, English is a total whore. Anyway, I originally thought I'd model the founding of the Kingdom after King Arthur. Then I realized that I'd need a Merlin, and I already have a Merlin, but he won't be born for quite some time. So I settled on it being founded by a mass power-play. On one hand the first King is a real dingleberry. On the other, a large part of his motivation is to prevent a destructive and bloody series of wars, so he can't be all that bad, right?

For the origins of the Nobility, I figured that the size of their wealth and their mine(s) would be the the best indicator of how much power they have. After all, Unicorns the Shiny not just because it's shiny, but it holds magic (or can, the pressence of Magitech in modern equestria suggests so), and Magical Items need to come from somewhere right? And where'd these 'armies' mentioned above come from? That'll have to wait until the Culture/Economy chapters.

In case you didn't catch it, the story of Celest and Silus is pretty much a total copy and paste of the general story of Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome. Yeah yeah I know: Not Greek. But considering how much the Romans stole fromwere inspired by, the Greeks, to the point where they're lumbed right in there together as "Classical," I think I can get away with it. And yeah, Stratocracy is a real form of a legit government. The more you know right?

Hyracotherium. It's a real thing. Well, it was. Long long ago. It is the earliest recognizable ancestor of the modern horse. It was about the size of your kitty. The Hyracotherium Republic is the earliest Equestrian government. It's totes legit.

So. Each of the Three Tribes were recognizably organized as such for 3000 years at least by the time of Hearth's Warming. And it took that long to reach Midieval level tech... Wait. No, considering that a thousand years before that they were foragers who underwent something like our Agricultural Revolution, that seems legit, nevermind. Plus, Isolationism is not conductive to progress.

My guess is, before the individual foundings, and before they got really big and moving, the river valley was a lot like a Fallout setting: Lots of unconsolidated city-states and independant towns and hamlets with locals loyal on the community level, but no real interest in the goings on beyond their boarders. That means that tribe-nations like the Junta and the Republic are like the NCR in New Vegas: relatively big and powerful, and tend to absorbe smaller and weaker states on the boarders.

Heck, there might be folk tales floating about of big-time heroes that did work for the area. Hmmm... Fallout: Pre-Equestria... I'd read it.

I prefer the analogy that English doesn't 'borrow' words from other languages; it waits for the other languages in a dark alley, then jumps out and beats them up before going through their pockets for spare adverbs.

So we don't just get worldbuilding, we get inaccurate and fake worldbuilding alongside the 'real' bits. This, I like. (Especially the mention of those evil, evil griffins being added retroactively to the founding myths...)

Well, I won't be doing what Striker is doing with She Returns. One, I don't know enough about G1 (and I'm not to thrilled about doing so), Two, it would be somewhat limiting in what I could and would want to do. That said, don't be surprised if you see some broad strokes refferences to G1. Just don't read to much into them. For example, just because Twilight's mom looks like Twilight Twinkle, doesn't mean she's the same pony.

True, but the thing is that the Greeks aren't known for their iconic armor. What we usually think of as Greek Armor is actually Roman more often than not. And as I said earlier: The Romans stole so much from Greece that separating one from the other is an exercise in academic semantics.

As to Discord: Let's just say Timey-Wimey is in effect. And for Hearts and Hooves... I completely forgot about that. Oh well! Fortunatly I know a good in for it: Fractured Equestrian Bitaly! Cadence isn't amused by that bit of her family history.

Yeah... I couldn't think of a way to effectively cover the Tribal Relations material that wouldn't be covered in other chapters of this pseudo-book. Therefore, anything you'd want to know will be covered elsewhere.

As the anecdote goes, at the naming ceremony for Twinkle, Platinum is believed to have told Clover “at long last, you can know the pain of screams echoing down the halls late into the night.”

So yeah, I don't really know how to convert Pony Years to Human Years, so I didn't even bother. So from here on out, when you see an age placed in relation to a pony, that's how old the pony would be if said pony was human.

Now for Hurricane. Obviously, he's a mix-and-match of different Historical Figures. First off: Julius Caeser (being banished from his home by a despot [Sullamander taking her name from Sulla, the warlord that more or less ruled Rome before the Triumphirate]). Next, both Ben Franklin (diseased after a diplomatic mission) and Ghangis Khan (having enough decendants to justify being called their own ethnic group). And some Andrew Jackson (his loyal love to his wife, the Hideaway/Hermitage).

Less poorly researched play, more natural flanderization brought on by out-of-context comments, the need to simplify the events of the Warming, and the fact that pony society has evolved. Back during the Junta, a pegasus like Rainbow Dash would have been seen like we do Fluttershy.

Let's see if I can articulate that: Naturally, if RD was in Pansey's position during the Wyvrn attack, forced to choose between disobeying orders from above and killing a loved one, she's going to disobey. We saw this in Hurricane Fluttershy, glory was less important than getting the job done and making sure everypony was safe. In the Junta, this would have been seen as cowardly behavior (though understandable enough that not everyone would shun her).

Out of all of the Founders, Pansey is the most like the Disney Princesses/heroines of the Disney Rennessance: Something of a misfit, longing for something in their lives 'above the sea,' 'just around the riverbend,' 'in the great wide somewhere,' and out in 'a whole new world.' This makes Shield Skin as her cautious friend that both tries to rein her in and wishes her the best of luck. As such, allow me to offer this piece of music as her Character Song, because I love music dangit.

Which brings up this next little bit: As I was out knocking on doors (working as a door-to-door salesman in NJ this summer), an idea came to me. Make a musical based on the events of Hearth's Warming, that places Pansey right in the front and center as the heroine! Or at least make the soundtrack for it. Then at the next big Brony convention this musical can be put on for everyone to watch!

...No I don't know. If you're reffering to the continued existence of the Nobility, consider this: The stuck up ponies of Canterlot that we see, compaired to the nobility of Platinum's time, are kind. Jet Set and Upper Crust? Back in the day, they would be considered nice. Think on that.

>>720483720483 I was referencing the famous Dragon Ball Z exchange between Vegeta and Andriod #18 in which #18 says "How sad to work so hard and accomplish so little." and Vegeta replies with "Sad for you!"

And here we have Clover's story. You know, there's something I find inherently amusing about an otherwise upstanding, unasuming young lady discovering the Feelings of Lust "Love" for the first time. But then again, if anypony could spark a fire in her loins heart, it would be Hurricane. Who, thanks to DA, looks like this in my headcanon by the way. As a guy, I can't tell if that's sexy-fine, but based on observation from ladies on guys deemed as 'hot,' he seems to match.

If anyone is good with Flash or something like that, I have a request: Re-Animate this vid, replacing Lyra with Historical!Hurricane, with a couple shots of Historical!Clover. Maybe with a nosebleed.

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Now, given what I'd revealed about Pre-Equestrian Unicorn society, Clover getting an epithet like "the Clever" is quite the accomplishment.

OOH! One last thing! I have a sneaky suspicion that, when Hurricane and Clover's courtship went from "Eminent" to "Just Waiting for the Announcement," Platinum was watching them from the shadows, hooves clasped in front of her face as she leaned on a railing, the light of the sun somehow glinting off of her reading spectacles. Had anypony been present, no doubt they would have overheard her whisper something to the effect of "Everything is going according to the scenario."

Now to get her a Fuyutsuki stand-in. Unless you consider Clover it. OOH! Speaking of Platinum: I revised the last part of her biography, and I’ve corrected somr errors in Pansy’s bio. Namely her name, which I noticed was spelled a different way in the Table of Contents.

And if you’re wondering: Indeed, I would not be averse to Platinum arranging the kidnapping. No, I don’t believe Hurricane was privy to, or even aware of, the plan. It was just him being a pawn in Platinum’s plotting.

I didn’t think this up when I was writing Hurricane’s chapter, but I found it interesting that Clover was born the same year, and a few months after, Wind Whistler’s death, and that they both were Hurricane’s great loves. Now, I don’t know about you guys, but the idea that Clover was Wind Whistler’s reincarnation stuck out to me, and tickled my interest. If you like the idea too, keep it. If not, well, it doesn’t affect anything one way or the other.

And while I’m in a WoG-World-buildy mood: I like the idea that Fluttershy is actually descended from Hurricane via Pansy. Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash is at best a half-descendant, being descended from a half-sibling of Hurricane’s. Same father, different mother. Just to screw with everyone’s expectations.

Now then, Willard is an actual Anglo-Saxon name that managed to survive the 1000+ years of language evolution to remain sufficiently popular among modern speakers. It means “Resolute and Stern.”