They Asked Me Why

I was just stepping out of the shower when the thought came to me, i don't really know why. I was just all of a sudden listing the things i wasn't, and it took me where it wanted to take me: right here, to write down, my inspiration.

I am not a bad child. i have no depression. I have never had my heart broken. I have never been abused, or teased, or bullied. I am not popular, but i am not lonely. I am not bi-polar, and have no schizophrenic background. My family is perfectly functional, and I have no problems with self-consciousness, or weight. I am a healthy fifteen year old teen. So why would i want to end my life? it is simple. I don't, but I will. They didn't understand my answer, they asked me why. So, I explained. She, was a bad child. She, had been depressed all her life. She had her heart shattered, when she was so young. She was abused, teased, and bullied by teens in her school. She was never popular, and she was so, so very lonely. She was bi-polar, yet another reason to be laughed at and teased. Her parents divorced when she was eight, and she can't even remember her mother. her dad is an alcoholic, who beat her daily. She didn't eat for years, from being teased and bullied. She was not a healthy sixteen year old, but she was my best friend.

two years ago, She killed herself. From all the hurt, the anger, the hatred. She left me, my best friend, and I couldn't even save her. I just want to talk to her again, to ask her why she didn't talk to me first. to tell her, that everything is ok. That she woke up her dad, who went into treatment for his addiction last year. To show her her mother, who everyday kneels on her only child's grave. to tell her that so much has changed. That Chelsea apologized to you on your grave, along with Tom, Benny, Beverly, and Gus. To show you the flowers I bought you that day, the day they found you. I want to tell you, one last time, that i love you. That you were my best friend, you were my true friend. I want to tell you that you were the light at the end of the tunnel, but now, it isn't there. so, against all recommendation, I have decided to find my light at the end of the tunnel. I have decided, to follow you, to find you, and to tell you all those things, that I never had time to before. So save a spot for me in heaven, I'll be there in five, four, three, two, one--- "goodbye, hello"

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