I love writing. I revere the use of language as an instrument for seeking the truth about life. My books are downloadable and the paperback editions will be appearing soon. Click on the links at the right side of this page. Peruse this blog, it's loaded with music, photography and writing. Hey, sign up for my email list!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

LOST: ONE MALE LIBIDO

This libido was last seen on December 31, 2015. It is approximately ten feet tall, six feet wide and four feet deep. It has between twelve and twenty horns of various descriptions. It's covered in long brown fur and has eyes all the way around its vaguely cylindrical body. The number of fingers, tentacles and hands it may possess are unknown at this time as it has been known to sprout extra limbs at moments of high stress. It is not very intelligent but possesses a wild cunning that can take pursuers off guard. If you see this libido DO NOT APPROACH IT. DO NOT ATTEMPT A DIALOGUE. IT IS NOT AMENABLE TO REASON. Call the local sheriff's department, dial 911 or email me at artsdigiphoto@gmail.com.

There are commonly available and well known tranquilizers that calm this libido but I discourage their use except in extremely dangerous situations. Under proper conditions this is a highly trained and valuable libido. I am reluctant to cause it damage or harm. You might call it by one of its names: Thor, Zeus or Johnny. This tactic may backfire, however, for if it is Johnny and is called Thor or Zeus it gets very upset. Likewise if it is Thor and is called Johnny, etc. The best approach is simply to say, "Hey big guy. How's it hangin'." It has been trained to recognize this as a non-threatening mnemonic. It may trigger my libido's desire to return to its so-called master.

I repeat: DO NOT APPROACH THIS LIBIDO. CALL THE AUTHORITIES OR NOTIFY ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE at artsdigiphoto@gmail.com.

REWARD OFFERED: I will give you, free of charge, my guaranteed technique for healing all stress, depression and emotional trauma.

2 comments:

I think I saw this libido with a pack of libidos near Big Tooth Mountain in the San Pablo Range.I kept my distance, but I did try calling out,"hey big fella, how's it hangin'". There was no response. It's possible a female libido had gotten into the pack and was creating chaos, total chaos!

If you have enjoyed any of my work, please leave a short comment. It may not appear immediately because it comes to me first for moderation. I get a lot of spam. Your comments help raise my spirits and support my belief that someone cares enough to say so.