Seth Abramovitch

Val Kilmer will preside over the Krewe of Bacchus parade that strolls through New Orleans two days before Mardi Gras, blissfully intoxicated on a heady mixture of beignet creme and boxed wine.

He is but one in a long line of illustrious celebrity Bacchus royalty that includes William Shatner, Billy Crystal, James Gandolfini, Bob Hope, Nicolas Cage, Kirk Douglas, Charlton Heston and Ron Howard, the last of whom is still revered by locals for having ushered in the most orgiastic and sin-drenched frenzy the French Quarter has ever seen, and earning him the title His Royal Majesty King Opie the Naughty.

Let the revelries commence! Cleanshaven David Crosby King Val commands it to be so!