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Motherhood is a second chance to do things right

Fashion affirmations

Aimee Heckel, Boulder and the Beautiful

Posted:
04/06/2012 01:00:00 AM MDT

When I was a tween, I was not cute.

Nope. Actually, I was gross.

I'd like to believe I had potential (based on the daily affirmations my dad, the project manager at Hewlett-Packard, had me write and hang on my wall). I was actually a victim. (Dad's affirmations would not condone that attitude.) I was a victim of the early '90s in a backward Midwestern town with the cheesiest name possible: Loveland.

Here is a short yet significant list of the various ways 1993 violated me:

1. My hair.

Did you know if you spray enough hairspray into your bangs, your scalp underneath grows stiff and itchy, but you cannot access it due to a web of hair strands more delicate and complicated than playing Jenga on top of Operation on top of Twister? If you are older than 28, you know this firsthand, and you also know that when you combed your bangs out, they sprinkled white hairspray particles all over your shirt and counter like a grape-scented snow globe. And you know which hair product made it smell thusly.

If you are younger than 28, you longingly imagine these good ol' retro days, and you probably own a trendy stonewashed vest from Forever 21, and you wear bright green and pink shades -- not realizing the PTSD that these items trigger in those of us who experienced these trends during their premiere two decades ago.

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Which brings us to:

2. My clothes.

Yes, all of them. From the Umbro shorts to the green-washed Guess jeans, baggy B.U.M. tees tucked in in the front but not the back, the square Esprit bags, the blue eyeliner, the jackets constantly worn shrugged off the shoulders hanging casually onto the elbows.

As you can see, I bought into the trends, big time. So much that a puffy Bills Starter jacket was the sole reason I agreed to date a sixth grader when I was in eighth grade (JUDGE ME), leading me to break into the school library to steal his library card. (I had a collection of all of my boyfriends' library cards. Sort of like the Rated G for Geek version of notches in a bed.)

And finally:

3. The tragic lack of anywhere to shop in Loveland to help propel us youths out of bad fashion in a timely manner, which meant I sported B.U.M. several years longer than it was cool in the rest of the world. Back in these good ol' retro days, the only place to shop in Loveland was, hmm, K-Mart. The '90s aren't looking so glamorous anymore, are they, college kids?

Not of fashion, not of the mixed messages in the media, not of boys (her dad already has his lines rehearsed for her first date: "Whatever you do to her tonight, I'll do to you tomorrow," and so on).

And lucky for her, she has something I never did (other than a terrifying 6-foot-7 fully tattooed father instead of a very excellent motivational speaker yet rather short dad): Jovie.

Jovie (shopjovie.com, 2015 13th St. in Boulder) is a boutique specifically for girls age 8-14 that opened in March. The shop features the latest trends, unique designs and fun accessories in an "age-appropriate, body conscious way" (you've got tall and short dads' support right there). The racks span creations by local artists, swimming suits, special-occasion dresses and well-known labels (Ella Moss, Joes Jeans).

Here's the kicker: Most of the hip clothes today are the same styles as the stuff I wore when I was that age -- except absolutely adorable. It's a constant reminder that 1993 was on the right track, except Kelly Kapowski derailed it and took us all down with her. Somehow, this feels like my second chance. This time, all of us moms can keep only what worked, straighten the hair, change the brand names and heck, while we're overachieving, buy only ethically made garments. Therapists everywhere must be so proud of this reclaiming.

Boulder mom Megan Barksdale decided to open Jovie after she found herself struggling to find cool, appropriate clothes for her daughter, Elke, age 10. Too many of the clothes were poorly made, with necklines too low and hemlines too high.

"Being lovers of fashion, our goal is to illuminate the beauty of taking chances and having fun with fashion to build positive body image and stimulate creativity," Barksdale writes on Jovie's website. "We love seeing each girl discover her individual style, take trend-setting risks and walk with confidence."

That's an affirmation I can support. In fact, I think a variation of that would look great, printed, framed and hung on my daughter's wall.

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