Marge: Now let's talk this over a nice big bowl of strawberry ice cream.(Lisa pulls the doll's string)Malibu Stacy Doll: Now let's talk this over with a nice big bowl of strawberry ice cream!Marge: Hmmmm....

Grampa: Why are you people avoiding me? Does my withered face remind you of the grim specter of Death?Homer: Yes, but there's more. Dad, I love you, but...you're a weird, sore-headed old crank and nobody likes you!

Lisa: It's not funny, Bart. Millions of girls will grow up thinking that this is the right way to act; that they can never be more than vacuous ninnies whose only goal is to look pretty, land a rich husband, and spend all day on the phone with their equally vacuous friends talking about how damn terrific it is to look pretty and have a rich husband!Bart: Just what I was going to say.

Lisa: It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you.Grampa: It's rotten being old. No one listens to you.Homer: I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are!

Follow The Simpsons

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!Homer: D'oh!