Tag Archives: perfect

just shuffled into play on my iPod, and the whole reason for it being there came flooding back to me.

Some time last year, before we were together properly – sometime during that period of us each telling each other our secrets and our dreams but being too scared to tell each other that the only person who could make those dreams come true was the person we were gushing them all out to… – sometime then, late at night during one of our usual nocturnal internet conversations, I was sad and down. I didn’t tell you, but you could sense it (yes, even through the complex maze of cyberspace). But instead of interrupting my silence, or pestering me, you sent me a link to this song. This exact link in fact. I opened the link and sat here on my bed listening to the song, but more importantly the words that were being said. It made me cry even more, but for quite the opposite reason. It made me cry tears of complete happiness and relief, but more than anything, tears of complete, over-whelming love, because I suddenly felt like it had all clicked into place. You understood me more than anyone had ever bothered to before, and it all felt so perfect – we felt perfect. I told you this that night and well, everyone knows where it goes from there 🙂

So there you go. Despite the fact that I used to despise this song (for the pure reason that Radio 2 used to play about 17 times a day), at that particular moment in time, it meant the world to me. It not only made me put life and my little worries into perspective, but it made me realise you, and that we weren’t a one-sided love affair – we both needed each other. And also, while we’re at it, I do acknowledge that I actually omitted this song from the mix-tape I made you. To be honest, I completely forgot about it. But that is why (here comes the moral of the story…), you have to have an iTunes playlist where you keep songs from occasions like this, and you don’t delete them. Ever. Music is the best way to rekindle memories.

Last night was perfect. So perfect. We had the best cuddles (8 days apart is far too long to bear), and we had cute little presents for each other which were perfect in themselves because they show how we know we don’t have to try and impress each other – that something with meaning counts more than anything. Dinner was made perfect by your mother’s classic appearance and then our usual people-watching comments and conversations about life. And then our trip to the beach in the Swift with good music playing through the open window (thanks to my mixtape skills 😛 ). Cute walk/chase along the sand and then back in time to buy snacks for our movie. Empty theatre, best seats in the house, one of the best movies I’ve seen with exactly the right amount of lovey stuff to be cute, and tension to give me an excuse to hold your hand. Home late, then snuggles in bed with chocolate and bro’Town. Pillow talk, play fights, cute kisses and cuddles, then finally sleep-time in the best place in the entire universe – your room, your bed, right beside you.

You mean the absolute world to me bubs. Spending time with you makes me realise how worthless and boring and pointless everything else in life is. The only thing that matters is you, especially now. We have exams and we’re supposed to be studying and I’m trying…I really am. Apparently, these exams define our futures. To an extent, yes. But ultimately, it’s the people that make you who you are that make the hugest difference to where you end up and what you become. And for me, that person is you. I love you so much. Always will. Thank you for always being here.

It doesn’t matter that I’m already behind on my study timetable (I always knew this would happen really), and it doesn’t even matter that I’m stuck with only my mum and brother this week. Because…

– Last night = 😀 😀 😀 !!! Japanese movie, could’ve been incredibly lame but I still managed to cry. Awesome. Hahaha, but hey, it was a cute movie apart from the bitch of a girlfriend the poor guy had. Oh, and the slightly predictable ending… 😛 But our little drive to Devo was cute, and seeing your old school and old house 🙂 Oooh I want to grow old with you.

– And, happy tears. I’m sorry about that. I’m sorry I keep saying sorry. But uhh, times like those, when I feel how much you need me and I need you, and how much we mean to each other, my stupid head can’t hold it all in and it all has to come gushing out. It seems like crying is the only way. But remember, happy tears. Don’t worry 🙂

– Those words you said to me. While we were walking in the cold up on that hill. ‘We’ are something we both hoped for and dreamed of. I can’t explain how it became reality, but it did. Destiny, fate, whatever you choose to call it, it’s perfect. I like it when you tell me what you’re thinking. And I like that you think the same things that I do. I can’t imagine life without you.

– Environmental Systems study sesh. Fabulous. Realised I’m not as bad as I thought I was. Exams should be fiiiiiiiine (excluding maths)…

There’s actually a million other negatives now I think about it, but what the hell. I’m gonna focus on the good stuff for once. I am gonna get study done, I am not gonna procrastinate (too much). I’m just gonna think about you all day, every day 😀

…deeper and deeper in love with you every day, hour and minute, whether we’re together or apart. Seriously, there’s no words that can or will ever be able to describe what you mean to me. I know others are probably reading this and thinking, ‘Oh here she goes, another soppy lovey-dovey post’, but baby, I don’t know how else I can tell you. And when I’m sitting here at home without you on a Friday night, in your pyjamas and with my big bear (miserable enough image?), you’re all I can think about, therefore it makes sense to write about you. I need to.

Today you made me so proud. I know you didn’t mean to, it wasn’t your aim. You don’t sit up there on that stage thinking about what others think of you because that’s not how you are. You’re just absolutely amazing, I don’t know how to put it into words. I can’t help but look and you and think how lucky I am. Everything about your personality, makes you you, and by God, it makes you the best person – heart and soul – in the entire fucking universe.

And I don’t actually care that I’m sitting here right now drowning in my silly tears. I’m allowed to, anyone is. Life is a complete turmoil of emotion at the moment, and I think today was one of the few occasions over the next couple of months which landmarks our changing lives. I’m not about to try and give a Bwendan Kelly speech here, but I have to just get these little thoughts out of my head.

It’s not until you actually experience the commissioning of next year’s prefects, not until you actually have your final ever day of a complete term at school, that you fully appreciate how far you’ve come. For me, I know that despite having only been at Kristin since last year, I have found my true family. I mean, most importantly I found you, but I’ve also found so many other great friends – I still am! – and we’ve all done so much together. I know these things will compile to give me the best memories of my life. Today, especially, reminded me of something, this time last year…

We were growing closer together, finally. We were already talking pretty much every night, sharing our lives with each other, instinctively trusting each other. The morning of this very day last year, I remember so clearly walking into school from the cars with you, talking about your prefecty stuff. Even then I remember seeing your perfectness and complete genuineness as a person. I was already in love with you, you know that. There were moments before that, but I like to think of that particular morning as sticking out as an especially important memory. It was the beginning of many things – of us, of this year panning out as it has, of us both finding new friends and both becoming better people. But, together. Always together.

So, see what I mean? It is you that has made my life how it is – actually bearable in the worst times and bloody fantastic during the best. I know I said at the beginning that I couldn’t put what you mean to me into words, but there you go…typical me, I’ve managed to eat half an hour of my life trying. I love you to the moon and back. You are my world (and my panda). So thank you thank you thank you. I’m forever yours.

Two weeks of silence…aaaah! I think that with the absence of EE I’ve been giving myself a bit of a break from writing (yes that includes refusing to do lit essays…) but I feel an update is in order.

Except, what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu~. I can’t do it. Bleh. Not in a writing mood. So, instead, some ‘things’.

Soooo cute! I WANTS ONE! 😀

I’m so glad we watched this together last night 😀

Truly great and inspirational words.

And finally, I just want to remind you of how much I love you. I don’t feel like I can ever tell you or show you enough because well, you’re perfect. I love our Friday nights so much, they make my week worth living. You’re the only person I can truly be myself around. Thank you so much 🙂

Like this:

Ooopsies…kinda been over a week since I last posted.. I think all that procrastination I was doing kinda caught up with me and I realised there’s certain things you can’t put off forever. But hey, OMG WE HAD THE BALL LAST WEEKEND 😀 As I said last Saturday night, it was the most perfect night of my life 🙂 You, of course, and the main reason why…but the things your mum did for me too…making me actually feel special and feeling like I actually looked good – ahhh, I can never thank her enough. And as for YOU looking fly…’Best Dressed Male Award’? You? I think so 😀 Hehehe, we looked gooood baby 🙂

And the ball in general was just heaps better than last year! If you subtract the few immature year 12s and odd year 13s who seemed to think it’d be cool to get absolutely wasted on any feasible illegal drug means and consequently look like trash the entire night, then in fact the venue, the food, the people we sat with, the photos…they were all great 🙂 Music could have done with a some improvements – I mean, except for the couple of Queen songs and of course the classic Aerosmith slow dance, there was a lot left to desire for. People tend to like to dance to GOOD music – which is certainly NOT Lady Gaga Lady Gaga Lady Gaga and then fucking Miley Cyrus ‘Party in my Slutty Short Shorts’. Where was ‘Livin’ on a Prayer’?

Anyway, all complaints aside…it honestly was one of the best nights out of my life 🙂 (I say ‘one of’ because I do kinda like the nights out we have when it’s just us two…of course 😛 ) And afterwards was awesome too. That thing I said a couple of posts ago and preferring guys to girls…I think Saturday night/Sunday morning kinda proved that. Your friends are actually the best. I love them because they’re a part of you, but also because they’re such cool, funny, genuinely nice people. Like you of course…guess that’s why you’re all friends 🙂 But yeah, you’re lucky.

Now, I would include one of the pro photos from the ball but seeing as they’re all print-screened straight off the website and have PROOF plastered all over them, I figure I’ll wait til the actually legit versions come through and then post those. For now, there’s this – best moment of the night? Hehehe, I think so 🙂