Advice Column: I slapped my mother because of him now he has dumped me after 3years

My mother went to her grave annoyed with me because of a sad incident that occurred 3 years ago. I was seeing this man which my mum didn’t approve of because he was way older than me. I refused to stop because I was so in love with him even though he is 49 and I’m 19. One day, I went to pass the night at his place and told my mom, I was going for vigil as a choir member. I don’t know how she found out it was a lie and we had a heated argument the next morning. In the course of the shouting my mom slapped me and I don’t what came upon me as I retaliated. I moved out angrily from home to his place. At first he treated me nice until weeks a later. He turned me into a slave – slept with everytime.

I couldn’t go back home because of what I did and didn’t want to look stupid before my mother. So, I endured the humiliation and agony. Mom became very sick and I didn’t even know about it because no one told me. When she died, I heard from a neighbour whom I ran into. I went home and learnt it was true. I cried and cried but dead was done.

After being a slave to this man for 3 years, he sent me away last week like a dog. He says he doesn’t love me anymore and I have been a burden to him.

I have begged him severally but he won’t agree. Iwant to kill myself. I have no one to go to. Everyone swore off me because of what happened before. Please, advice me