A friend of mine just emailed me from the UK and said “what about that hostage situation in Chicago?” Hostages? Hostages. Eek!

A bank robber trying to rob the First Commercial Bank at 6945 N Clark this morning got into a standoff with the police and was holding hostages. A group got out, and authorities are still trying to determine whether there are any more employees or customers inside. The entire block, including a strip mall and an elementary school (not in session today), are on lockdown and the 22 bus has been re-routed.

Okay, I’m in traffic on the Eisenhower this morning for my daily commute, when I glance in my rear view mirror and the lady behind me is flossing. She has a big ol’ piece of dental floss hanging out of both sides of her mouth, is looking intently in her rear view mirror, and actually flossing her teeth while driving. Yes, it was stop and go traffic… but flossing??

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen someone doing in the car while you’re stuck in traffic?

I got a ticket on my car this morning — a $50 ticket for “Missing Rear or Front Plate” with “Front” circled. My car, by the way, isn’t really my car — I’m borrowing it from my brother and that’s why it’s registered in Tennessee.

Tennessee, and I’m guessing you can see where this is going, only requires a single plate, on the rear. So there is no plate on the front of the car on purpose. So now I get to have the fun of contesting the ticket by mail with printouts of Tennessee state code. Whee!

So… they hit Jesus with their car?Ribbons used to be about awareness. I’ve been pretty annoyed with their recent transformation into bumper sticker form. Just make it a bumper sticker. Being in the shape of a ribbon does not make your slogan un-creepy. And you could really be making up Bible quotes if you’re going to be that opportunistic about them. Just go ahead and say “every time you tell a lie, Jesus’ intestines are ripped out and thrown around heaven” and quote some random Bible chapter. Go on, you’re already an unintentional self-parody, you might as well go all the way with it.Picture taken at the street light on Hollywood, merging onto southbound Lakeshore Drive.

The Wikipedia entry on Dada—the World War I–era “anti-art” movement characterized by random nonsense words, bizarre photocollage, and the repurposing of pre-existing material to strange and disturbing effect—may or may not have been severely vandalized, sources said Monday.

“This is either totally messed up or completely accurate,” said Reed College art history major Ted Brendon. “There’s a mustache drawn on the photo of Marcel Duchamp, the font size keeps changing, and halfway through, the type starts going in a circle. Also, the majority of the actual entry is made up of Krazy Kat cartoons with abstract poetry written in the dialogue balloons.”

“Ha, ha,” you think, “I almost get that joke. If only there was some way I could see a modern production of some Dada theater. And it’d be convenient if it starred writers from this here blog.”

You know how when you’re leaving Home Depot or Best Buy and they check your receipt before you can go? And do you know that, basically, you’re just stopping as a courtesy to them — your transaction is over? Well, a TigerDirect security guard out in Naperville didn’t seem to know that latter fact and physically restained a customer last week who refused to have his receipt checked. The customer ended up calling up 911 to get a cop on the scene, who let him depart. The manager of the store has since apologized, but it’s the weak sort of apology that goes on to cast aspersions on the character of the customer. Unless you’ve signed a contract to the contrary (e.g. the membership agreement at CostCo or Sam’s Club) you don’t have to show anyone your receipt on the way out of a store, and you certainly don’t deserve to be yelled at or restrained just for not showing a receipt.

So, there’s a new survey out that postulates that 1 out of 4 Americans haven’t read a single book in the past year.One of my favorite paragraphs from the AP article:”In 2004, a National Endowment for the Arts report titled “Reading at Risk” found only 57 percent of American adults had read a book in 2002, a four percentage point drop in a decade. The study faulted television, movies and the Internet.”Is that true, Chicago? Is the Internet causing us to look at books with disdain? How many books have you read in the last year?(As you may have noticed, I like the Internet and I’ve read 37 non-work books since January 1.)