Across-the-Board (acrosstheboardblog.com)

This entertainment blog showcases crazy news, pictures, and celebrity gossip. Occasionally, I talk about my life as well. Consider it slapdash if you will, I prefer to describe my actions as... Across the Board. Updated whenever I feel like it.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Here is where you can find me now

Saturday, May 30, 2009

An exercise is Aussie ignorance

Australian news can only really be described as 'tabloid' at best. The most exciting thing about it is the occasional golden opportunity to ridicule our fellow neighbours, and this video is no exception.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

In case you missed it, Ramsey no longer updates this blog.

Well, I think that just about says it all.

Thanks Ransey, for the fantastic Blog with a MASSIVE archive of stuff that I KNOW no one could have read all of.

Oh, and BTW 'Anonymous', we never expected any slack. We just thought that this dead blog may be able to use an update once in a while to keep the archives browsers amused. If you don't appreciate it, fair enuff, but being a prick about it isn't necessary.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Feed us your thoughts on ACB

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Looking for payback?

If you've ever boarded with someone that won't respect his housemates, if you've ever lived with someone who just won't listen when you scream STFU, if you just don't know how to get them to slow down and be quiet...This ones for you.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Great commercial

Monday, January 19, 2009

The Quick 10: Facts About 10 Presidential Inaugurations

1. Jimmy Carter’s inauguration was distinctive for a few reasons. First of all, he was the first president to be sworn in by a nickname. Second, his Inauguration Day parade included a Macy’s Parade-like balloon of a peanut to celebrate his past. And third, his wife, Rosalyn, was also the only First Lady (in recent history, anyway) to wear an old gown for the swearing-in ceremony. Seeing no reason it shouldn’t be worn again, she wore a dress she had worn to a gubernatorial ceremony in Georgia.

2. Zachary Taylor refused to be sworn in on a Sunday, because he was very strict about “keeping holy the Sabbath.” The position of president couldn’t just be vacant until Monday, so the President Pro Tempore of the Senate

, David Rice Atchison, was brought in as a pinch hitter. There’s some debate as to whether this actually makes him the 12th president and Zachary Taylor the 13th, but obviously, it’s generally accepted that he doesn’t count. He didn’t even stake claim to the title, and repeatedly told people that he slept through most of his day as president. He must have had a good sense of humor about the whole thing, though, as evidenced by the inscription on his gravestone. Picture by Wikipedia user Umbricht

3. Calvin Coolidge had some interesting people swear him in as president. The first time, after Warren G. Harding died in office, Coolidge was sworn in by his notary public dad. They were at a farm in Vermont and had to conduct the whole thing by kerosene lamp. The second time, he was sworn in by former president William Howard Taft, who was chief justice of the Supreme Court at the time.

4. Thomas Jefferson walked to and from his own inauguration.

5. Warren G. Harding was the first to arrive at his inauguration via car.

6. When Andrew Johnson was inaugurated as vice president, he was totally trashed. He was very ill from typhoid fever and drank whiskey to try to numb the aches and pains a little. Except he overdid it and ended up slurring his way through his oaths. Then he tried to swear in the new senators

, but got too confused and had to let a Senate clerk complete his duties instead. “The inauguration went off very well except that the Vice President Elect was too drunk to perform his duties and disgraced himself and the Senate by making a drunken foolish speech,” Senator Zachariah Chandler reported. “I was never so mortified in my life, had I been able to find a hole I would have dropped through it out of sight.”

7. More than three tons of Jelly Belly jelly beans were used in Ronald Reagan’s inauguration in 1981. When he was governor of California, he developed a jelly bean habit because he was giving up smoking and the jelly beans helped distract him. He became known for it, so red, white and blue jelly beans were used for his inauguration celebrations. The blueberry Jelly Belly, in fact, was created just for this purpose.

8. Barack Obama may be using the same Bible to take his oath as Abraham Lincoln did, but Teddy Roosevelt still has one up on him: he actually wore one of Lincoln’s rings. John Hay, Roosevelt’s secretary of state, was also Abraham Lincoln’s private secretary (he was only 22 at the time) and was there when Lincoln was assassinated. Hay was given the ring by Mary Todd Lincoln and let Roosevelt use it in his 1905 inauguration.

9. The Adams presidents were apparently sore losers. When their successors were inaugurated, both John Adams and John Quincy Adams made it a point to be otherwise occupied far out of town.

10. In his inaugural address, James Buchanan announced that he wasn’t going to run for re-election. He was true to his word, and maybe that’s for the best: he’s continually ranked as one of the worst presidents the U.S. has ever had.

Clever Hiring Ad?!?!

Monday, December 01, 2008

Don't mess with the candy, man!

When a drunken neighbor came over and threatened his Thanksgiving guests with a kitchen knife, one Del Paso Heights man allegedly took matters - and a plastic candy cane - into his own hands.

In what police said was self-defense, the man used the two-foot plastic lawn decoration to beat 49-year-old Donald Kercell until police could take Kercell into custody, said Sacramento Police spokesman Sgt. Norm Leong.

Kercell allegedly became intoxicated, went over to a neighbor's home on the 3600 block of Dayton Street early Thursday evening and began waving a kitchen knife at people gathered on the lawn, Leong said.

When Kercell cut a few people's clothing, Leong said, a man at the home decided to fight back. Other people at the home called police.

Leong said the candy cane-wielding man does not face any charges. The knife-wielding man, however, was arrested and booked into the Sacramento County Main Jail on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Kids today

Friday, November 07, 2008

Which came first, the song or the video?

Ever wonder what music videos (in case you don't know what they are, they're what they used to play on MTV, before Ashton Kutcher and Cribs) would be like if they sang about what was in the video? Sort of a video came before the song thing? Keep that in mind and laugh at this:

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Palin 2012?

Airmail Wallet

The AirMail wallet is made of a single sheet of super-strong Tyvek that feels like paper but is virtually indestructible. Being stitchless, the wallet has the luxury of expanding without looking like a bloated pervy old man after 3 jugs of beer. It's environment-friendly too; the wallet is made of 25% recycled plastic.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Blowing up balloon with ears!!!?!?!?

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Google Phone vs. 3G iPhone, the showdown!

A friend of mine, Ferris, fellow co-worker, received his new “Google Phone” in the mail today. If you didn’t hear in the news, today was the launch of the new T-Mobile cell phone — named the G1. This phone runs the Google Android operating system. Complete with a touchscreen, QWERTY keyboard, GPS, Wi-Fi, bluetooth, etc — you know, all that good stuff.

Anyways, I shot a quick video blog to show and compare the G1 “Google Phone” to the recently released 3G iPhone. Watch my complete video blog about the two phones below…

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Don't try to fight it, you're a thief either way

Sunday, October 19, 2008

102 Years Ago

The year is 1906.One hundred and two years ago.What a difference a century makes!Here are some of the U.S. statistics for the Year 1906:

The average life expectancy in the U.S. was 47 years.

Only 14 percent of the homes in the U.S. had a bathtub.

Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone

A three-minute call from Denver to New York City cost eleven dollars.

There were only 8,000 cars in the U.S., and only 144 miles of paved roads.

The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.

Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were each more heavily populated than California. With a mere 1.4 million people, California was only the 21st most populous state in the Union.

The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower!

The average wage in the U.S. was 22 cents per hour.

The average U.S. worker made between $200 and $400 per year .

A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year, a dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.

More than 95 percent of all births in the U.S. took place at HOME.

Ninety percent of all U.S. doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION! Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press AND the government as “substandard.”

Sugar cost four cents a pound.

Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.

Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.

Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used borax or egg yolks for shampoo.

Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their country for any reason.

Five leading causes of death in the U.S. were:1. Pneumonia and influenza2. Tuberculosis3. Diarrhea4. Heart disease5. Stroke

The American flag had 45 stars.

Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Hawaii, and Alaska hadn’t been admitted to the Union yet..

The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was only 30!!!!

Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea hadn’t been invented yet.There was no Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.

Two out of every 10 U.S. adults couldn’t read or write. Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.

Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores. Back then pharmacists said, “Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health.” ( Shocking? DUH! )

Eighteen percent of households in the U.S. had at least one full-time servant or domestic help.

Smile for Today

Theres nothing like an explosive breakup

Check out this great video of the controlled destructive re-entry of the European Space Agency's Jules Verne Automated Transfer Vehicle.The breakup itself began at an altitude of about 47 miles and produced some 600 fragments of 22-44 lb. in mass. The debris field covered a 125 x 1,250 mi. corridor about 1,250 mi. east of New Zealand and 1,675 mi. south of French Polynesia.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Great music, unlimited Häagen-Daz ice cream, and a bed .. Heaven!

Friday, October 10, 2008

How to Carve a Pumpkin

I love Halloween! I couldn't resist adding one more Halloween how-to video. This video has 10 total video segments on selecting just the right pumpkin, what kind of supplies you will need, how to properly gut a pumpkin, and many other helpful hints. The video below is an introduction to the video segment. To view the other ones as well, click this link.

How to Apply Heath Ledger Joker Make-Up

If you want to be the Heath Ledger Joker for Halloween, this video will help you look awesome! The man doing the video, Roger Bennett Riggle, is professional make-up artist. The video below will go over each supply you will need to make the perfect Joker face for this Halloween. After watching the video, click on this link and it will have the rest of the video clips (there are 6 total video segments) to the creating the latex mouth scars, applying the make-up, and everything you need to know to complete your Joker costume.

"So is a unicorn just a horse that has one horn sticking out of its head? Oh."

"I’d rather massage a chick with pudding."

"We’re getting a cat and we’re naming it taint."

"You should send her a text message and say that you want to rub her down with
applebutter"

"Never send a girl carnations unless you want her to say, 'Crap, I got
carnations.'"

"I've decided photos of girls on boats are sexier than photos of girls on the
beach."

"I’m worried that I’m going to run out of people to ask to be friends on Facebook."

"Eat it with your hands it's tomato-saucy!"

"I hate when movies try to make food visually stimulating."

"She's been living for 16 years in KY jelly./Yeah, that can't be good on your
eyebrows"

"I think pregnant ladies are scary"

"I think we should wait till it's late./When we get back it will be late./Exactly"

"The party is at Jerry's Bait Shop! OH-OH"

"I can't, I have to start studying for a final I have in two days... and I haven't even
taken the book out of the saran wrap."

"I don’t have to ask her for permission, I just have to persuade her to let me."

"You should have paddled him with your penis at his wedding!"

"Jeez-la-weez!"/Did you really just say Jeez-la-weez?"

"Listen here bucko!/Did you really just say bucko?"

"[Ramsey barges into Paul’s house and interrupts a group of people watching a serious
movie with the lights dimmed], “Paul you’re such a damn liar, and you smell like ham” –
Drunk Ramsey after the Rascal Flatts concert

"(calling me from the casino buffet) Dude -- quit screen your calls, I wanted to tell
you about the crazy amount of food I ate, I seriously, you’re probably going to think this
is an exaggeration but it’s not. [excited] I ate two steaks, probably about 35 shrimp, a
thing of carved turkey, a baked potato crab, a crab rangoon, some fried rice, two rolls, and
a teeny piece of pie at the end. Fucking most food I’ve ever eaten -- this place is fuckin’
[short pause] we have got to start coming here on Thursdays! Anyways, I’ll be home in a
little bit, later bye."

"Birth control is the best invention ever... [pause], so are condoms"

"So I've been thinking of taking up smoking as a hobby..."

"You would of been funny in the 80's"

"I wonder what T.J. Ford is up to?"

"You made out with him because you wanted to feel his suede jacket? That's awesome."