When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years. ~ Mark Twain

Moving Toward Mother’s Day

I’ve been thinking about my Mother a lot lately and not only because it was getting closer to Mother’s Day but many other reasons have touched my heart to spur some long buried memories.

·
I am currently visiting with a new Hospice friend in which the caregiver-patient relationship is also that of a mother and daughter. It seems that quite a variety of recent conversations have reminded me of my current life position in which I have revisited life lessons learned from my Mother. My Mother, although in over the 5 ½ years since her death she has remained more silent and reserved in her visits,(as compared with other relatives) she has recently made it clear that and when she is present. The lessons I thought I learned from my Mother have grown, changed and expanded in scope.

Lessons Learned From Our Mothers

When we choose to be aware of our spiritual path in our life we recognize:

Our perspective changes as we move through our continuing life cycle

Lessons may be interpreted differently as we move toward the age of our parents

Life experiences may change our moral, values, beliefs and about life and how we value it

Our understanding and chosen perspective depends upon our own life journey and what and how we have incorporated our spirituality into our human existence

When I was ten, I thought my parents knew everything. When I became twenty, I was convinced they knew nothing. Then, at thirty, I realized I was right when I was ten. ~ Mark Twain

Our family agrees that this (above) is our favorite picture of our Mom. However, not because everyone is so enamored by our dog Chiquita as we are but because the picture encapsulates Mom from a everyone’s perspective.

Mom was a caring, giving, kind person who was very thoughtful of others; put others first and always appeared to do it cheerfully. Finding out after her death that her life was much more difficult than we perceived, we did not know that for our entire lifetime.

This picture epitomizes the words that echo in my memory; her oft repeated words of wisdom*: “When all else fails, laugh.” And Mom did; Mom laughed, she danced the jitterbug and people always described her and remember her as having a wonderful sense of humor. But her behavior is how I interpreted her words.

Over time, I realized she illuminated these words to mean much beyond “keeping a stiff upper lip.” Those words now represent a perspective on life that embodies persistence, commitment, and motivation, all of those strong forces in the human spirit that accepts life on life’s terms. It is an exploration of pure acceptance. Without resignation or resentment, it is acceptance with and
of what Zac has often stated: “Live What Is.” She lived her daily life laughing, when all else failed….

But I’ve learned that what youbring to life is what is important and that is what my Mom did in living hers.

I often speak about choices because that is what life is. Although we come with our plan, we have free-will that our human self can circumvent or change life situations when we use our free-will. (Our angels, Spirit Guides and spirit helpers cannot alter our free-will choices. This is why it is said that 95% of our life is human controlled not spirit controlled because as a human, we cannot remember the spirit’s plan)

Regardless, I am grateful for the ultimate choice I made in choosing my Mother as a mother, a parent, as a guidance to learn from and to attempt to emulate though the lessons she taught me through words and actions.

Today’s Mother’s Day

Over the last 16 years I have faced Mother’s Day growing through differences after the the death of my son, Zac and then my Mother’s death 5 1/2 years ago. I began as a bereaved Mom, to a Mom/daughter missing their physical beings, to embracing the gratitude of a mother who has the memories of two wonderful children and an extraordinary mother.

So this year my Mother’s Day will be different as I sit here in my Lynyrd Skynyrd Freebird t-shirt listening to “In The Mood” and remembering Mom, her lessons and reflecting not only on her not being physically present but what I want to do with the rest of my life and how life will continue renewing if I maintain Mom’s memory and model in my heart.

It used to be heartbreaking to me in thinking about Mother’s Day, now it is a heart opening exercise in seeing what new can be seen in the expression “Happy Mother’s Day”…

I wish you all warm memories and peace on this Mother’s Day….

Chris

· * Wisdom: That which comes by suffering. Aeschylus

My Mother’s Day attire…

Chris Mulligan is the author of Afterlife Agreements: A Gift From Beyond which describes in detail the mother/son relationship that continues after death through documented signs and conversations. For more information visit http://www.Afterlifebooks.com where you can sign up for her Living Differently newsletter and visit her blog at http://www.afterlifebooks.blogspot.com. She writes about death, grief, loss and living. Her aim is to inspire, awaken, and motivate the bereaved to choose life after the death of a loved one