A blog about being asexual in a sex – saturated world

Gay, Lesbian or Bi Bachelor/ Bachelorette?

Last Thursday, I read a post on Mamamia (“It’s Time For a Gay bachelor. Or Bachelorette” – Kate Leavete Thursday, September 4 2014). Now, for the record, I don’t watch The Bachelor at all. Doesn’t interest me at all, frankly. However, I’ve felt compelled to talk out this article.

Now, I know why this conversation has started up, the issue of LGBT equality. I get that. I have some qualms though.

First, one of the commenters said about having a bisexual one and make it one big ‘orgy ‘. Now she was probably being tongue – in – cheek, and I don’t want to condemn her for it. However, I fear that that’s exactly what will end up happening.

Also, another commenter said that they’ll end up just all falling for each other. So they can’t just fall for one person?

I think shows like “The Bachelor” are ridiculously staged. And I don’t think that it paints relationships in a good light because I find the contestants (of at least some of them), too two – faced. Frankly, I don’t think it paints relationships well at all.I get why this conversation has come up; LGBT equality as well as more recognition in the media. However, I worry about the representation. Will it just enforce negative stereotypes? I have strongly argued that the LGBT (especially bisexuals), have become fetishised in the media. It’s almost become the ‘rage’, if you like. That’s not what sexual orientation (or gender identity off that matter), is about. It’s a part of what makes up people. It’s not just something that can be switched off on a whim ( I don’t think it can anyway).

I think that most LGBT+ just want to be accepted and feel safe in being who they are. I don’t think that they want their identities (of a part of it anyway).

So, what about an asexual bachelor/ bachelorette? Nah, leave it as it is. Probably won’t watch it anyway.

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5 comments on “Gay, Lesbian or Bi Bachelor/ Bachelorette?”

Hmm. Well *I* don’t watch the bachelor (as a matter of fact I only watch shows online, which is a more limited selection and tends not to involve any reality/daytime telly.)
But many people do. That means that representation to that demographic is possible, and maybe the daytime telly watchers can learn that Queer people of all stripes are really just people, and frequently people not dissimilar from straight people like (presumably most of them).
I don’t know if it’s worthwhile to convince who probably want to just see the ‘freak show’ and drama even in the straight version, let alone any queers, but you know, it could be.

However, as someone who is biromantic I would hope they’d actually have someone steer them away from stereotyping you were mentioning.
Being that they may not already be aware exactly how cruddy it is for people to believe about you personally those “jokes” they’re making. (Which are handy parodies of biphobic rhetoric that is a much less funny as a “joke” when people have been using it to devalue your identity to your face, including irl, for years.)
I’d say they don’t have a handle on that yet, but they might be able to manage it, if they actually hire some queer activists to help script it, or some such.

So I would say, they can go ahead and do a gay bachelor, and a lesbian bachelorette, and a bi or pan “bachelor(ette)”, just I hope they aren’t surprised if there is a very, VERY, angry backlash if they screw things up.

P.S. the first time you wrote equality, it actually reads “equakity”, which could also be read like “E-quak-ity” as in this concept is for quacks. I was pretty sure you weren’t actually making light of the topic, but I thought I’d let you know that typo is a doozy. lol

I had a discussion about this with a friend once! We actually both watch the show (it’s a really guilty pleasure) but in our defense we only watch it to make fun of how awful and wrong the whole thing is.

I actually made the comment about how they would all fall for each other when we talked about it. So I don’t think that comment means it as they can’t fall for just one person (at least, that’s not how I meant it) but instead it just means they might not fall for the person they are supposed to fall for under the structure of the show. If you put a bunch of straight girls in a competition for one guy, he’s their only option. But if it’s a bunch of lesbians in competition for another lesbian, they might decide they don’t like the Bachelorette and instead they like someone else in the competition, and suddenly the show loses it’s point altogether.

But anyways, even beyond that, I don’t think the show would ever even consider it. The producers are well-known for being very ignorant of social issues and for promoting the heteronormative ideal.

However, the idea behind hoping it will happen is the same old concept about wanting to be visible in the media and wanting more characters or celebrities that we can relate to, rather than the false ratio that exists that makes it seem like everyone or at least almost everyone is straight.

It is nice to be recognized, even when that recognition sometimes comes at the cost of being unrealistically portrayed. Not to mention it does do some good. One of my gay professor’s had a nephew whose parents didn’t want him to come out to the kid because they “didn’t think he would handle the concept well at his age” and when he did find out accidentally they learned that he already knew all about homosexuality from the TV and the idea didn’t phase him at all. Visibility is extremely important in any social movement.

Also, a gay/bi version of the show would require the participants to all be part of the LGBT world, and I would hope that would make them socially conscious enough to not reinforce the stereotypes in the way that straight actors do on other TV shows.

Those are just my random and somewhat unorganized thoughts on the subject.

Thanks for your comment V. Look, I hope I didn’t insult you in any way about your comment about a gay/bi bachelor/ bachelorette. It’s just I read quite a few blogs about bisexuality and that’s one of the stereotypes, according to them, is getting in the way of acceptance. That’s why I was critical.

It’s interesting you mentioned your professor’s nephew knowing what homosexuality is. I remember a few years ago when Play School featured a lesbian couple an the controversy if caused. And that’s aimed at preschool/ kindergarten!