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Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Epic Vacation Part 1C

Hamleys toy store London - where no sane parent should ever take their child unless that parent has a secret wish to die a slow death by nonstop pestering.

Licking dirt off the floor is more appealing that listening to non stop nagging children demanding you purchase everything in site, then listening to the whining because you said "no"! (I hate you, you don't get me anything...!)

Multiple floors, packed wall to wall with everything you could ever imagine if you're 13 or below, and two or three sales people per floor demonstrating different gadgets to catch the eye of your child and keep them mesmerized and "I want that, it looks cool...please mom, please!!!!!!"

I knew the instant we made the decision to seek out the store on Regent Street that we'd regret ever using the brain cells to form that momentary thought and act on it. We've been to toy stores before - Walmart, Toys R Us, even FAO Schwarz - and we've dealt with the nagging and demanding. All parents do. It's in the job description.

But I believe the sole purpose of Hamleys is to go far beyond that realm of toy-store-nagging; it takes you on a journey to the Twilight Zone of hell on floors 1 through 5 with no exit in site.

Parents walk around like possessed robots with their arms outstretched and a credit card pinched in their fingers, a look of terror in their eyes but they're unable to snap out of the evil trance that has been placed upon them by their children.

You get sucked into a vortex that places you on another planet seen only on SciFi shows. Before you know it, your credit card has been charged and your child is walking away with a purchase and you have no idea how it happened.

...Wait..what the...who...where am I???

And then you walk out of the store pinching yourself - wake up, c'mon, wake up, it was just a dream...right?