1st of all it has been a while since I have done an update on this site and this is very bad of me as I should give back for all of the information that I have found so useful from this web site. Therefore I hope this description of a journey helps to give back.

Since before I can remember I have always been into some kind of fetish normally revolving around bondage or bdsm. For years I played with being restrained or minor pain whilst masturbating (i.e. nipple clamps, ball stretchers etc) however this always felt a bit flat as this was only ever for personal use and I never had anybody to share anything with. I was desperate for an experience that was going to last.

Going back about 3 years ago I fell on the idea of chastity and thought that I would give it a go. My first purchase was a CB 2000 which I have to say I hated and it didn’t really fit and very quickly decided that I need a CB 3000 instead.

When I got it, it took me ages before I could get any kind of combatable fit so that I could ware it for more then a quick play. Eventually after finding the correct spacing and figuring out that actually the best way that it worked for me was to ware the CB2000 solid ring as close to my body as possible with the cb3000 cage I was good to go. I very soon realised the sexual high that comes from chastity and restraint.

My wife started by allowing me to ware it but was quite clear that she was not keen and wanted it to be out of site out of mind. After a short time it was clear that this was not enough and the knowledge that I was wearing anything was just a massive turn off for her and killed her sex drive. The issue being she hates anything bondage related and just felt that this was a different type of bondage (probably why I enjoyed it so much).At about the same time she started to struggle with a major back issue and sex was not even on the table for a good 12 months.

So I made a decision that I would do as she asked and would never ware it when she was around but would put it on to go to work and if I was staying away over night and would then take it off when I got home. At about the same time I found the key safe web site. After speaking with the web site admin they actually picked up on an idea that I had given them and launched it on there web site. Following this I bought a £30 safe and was using the site to hold my key for short periods of time.

However something was missing and it was missing in a big way. My wife hated chastity and our sex life was getting less and less. What used to be great when we first got together was just turning into a chore because we felt that we should try and make some kind of effort. Sex happened 6 to 10 times a year and to be honest I got more pleasure from myself that I did being with her and I know that she felt the same.

One night my chastity life changed (and I wrote about it on this forum). I was staying away in a hotel, I had nothing to do and wanted to play. I decided that I want to drive myself insane with lust and hornyness and spend the night dribbling form my cage. So got my porn collection out on the lap top and put babe station on the TV in the back ground. As I was getting hornier and hornier I made a man vagina with the skin between my anus and balls. And start to rub myself as if I was a woman masturbating. My cock was as hard as ever and by now my balls were properly aching but was on a complete sexual high enjoying the moment. Then all of a sudden, it happened. I came….I found myself stood in the middle of a hotel room with the bed sheets flooded with built up cum going

“What the fuck?”

Then it struck me. If I can cum whilst in chastity what’s the point?I spent many weeks soul searching and in the mean time my CB3000 just became a sex toy. As long as I have not come for 7 days + I can put it on and either rub or waggle my cage and can cum quite easily now.

After putting posts on this web site it was clear that I was not the only one and that actually lots of people can cum in chastity its about not trying to because your partner doesn’t want to you and that you cum because it pleases them not because you want to. After doing more research I realised that the reason that I could cum is because I had access to my anus, prostate and balls to stimulate myself. The answer would be to get a full on chastity belt that covered everything so I could not touch anything. For me this was a no go and just not interested, don’t think that they look nice, don’t think that they are practical and just not for me (each to there own)

So if my chastity device was no good, where did that leave my chastity life style? Flat with no were to go…… or was it.

About the same time my wifes back was getting better and she was showing an interested in starting things up again. I wanted to see if I could be a bit of a tease myself and would go to kiss her then move away and would kiss all around her breasts but not touch the nipple until she was very horny and wet then as a bit of a joke at the time asked “am I allowed to touch?” to my surprise the response was not yet I am liking this in a minute I will tell you when to touch. I could tell she was building and building and when she finally told me I was allowed to touch her she had the most mind blowing orgasm going (yes and put her back out).

And so it started. If there is one thing that I know about my wife its all about timing and slow and steady. So it started with us agreeing that I would not be allowed to touch her breast or genitals unless she gave me permission. This had a much bigger impact then we both realised. In the past I used to be very grabby and would do things at the wrong time. (i.e. grabbing her boobs from behind whilst she was trying to cook etc) and due to this she had started to always protect herself when I went to cuddle her as she always thought that I was going to grab. After 2 weeks this had all gone and she LOVED it.

After a while it changed into I would have to ask when I was in her to make sure that I was allowed to cum. I then started to bring back the chastity bit and told her that I would save myself for her. However this massively back fired as I was so pent up when we had sex that I only lasted for a couple of minutes and left her very unsatisfied. Something that had to change and fast! Then I realised that we seemed to be having sex once a month and about the same time each month. She would get her monthly (call that day one) and she would start to get horny about day 8 and we would normally have sex between day 10 to 16.

This realisation did 2 things. 1) It stopped me calling her a nun because I realised she did like sex but just at the correct time of the month

2) It meant that I started to focus all of my attention when she wanted it.

Ok so lets build this in. so I would not cum all month and wait until about day 8 and masturbate so that I was fresh for her when she wanted me.

But as all men do I wanted more. So with very careful wording and at the right time we discussed that only she would allow me to cum and that I would have to ask for permission. We have been doing this now for several months and in general this has been working well however I know that there are not any consequences so I cheat and masturbate mid month when I start to get horny. But it is working. She is now getting into teasing me and loves to flash me a boob when the mood takes her, She will walk past and thrust herself at me saying wouldn’t you love to touch the sacred mounds (our name for breast) things are getting fantastic and we are both enjoying it.

Being a man though again I want more I still want to bring back that chastity feeling so that she is in total control.

So to today.

After much rewriting I have written an orgasm denial contract. What does it say will it just puts into words everything that we now do and enjoy however it now has consequences as if I do anything that is not authorised then I have to pay her a fine from my personal money that she can spend on herself doing or buying what ever she wants. Also to try and show her that I am committed to our new contract I wanted her to know that she holds the key to my heart as well as the key to our sex life and I have just bought her the necklace that is now my avatar picture.

This Thursday is the big day. I am away Thursday night and I want her read the contract and have the necklace whilst I am away so that she can read through it without me looking over her shoulder. Will she love it? Or will she hate it? This is either going to be everything I have dreamed of or I am just about to kill the whole thing.

Will let you know soon.

I started this by saying that I wanted to give back. Hopefully this storey gives others ideas and persistence if your chastity life style is not working the way that you hoped. Take stock and move on, where there is a will there is a way……

She has defiantly warmed more to the whole orgasm denial process and when she is in the mood then she is defiantly enjoying the control of the situation.

For the first time in our relationship she is now enjoying oral sex, where before she would have just thought of it as unhygienic and get off…..

As a rule she only wants to do anything sexual when she is in the mood which in real terms is a few days window once a month. The rest of the time she is just not interested. She seems to be keeping up with “The Game” of I have to ask for permission to cum however at this stage she is giving these away every time I ask, don’t think I have ever had a “No” however she’s getting there.

Last month when she was in the mood and she knew that I was very horny but did not want to ask for permission she had me stand in front of her (while I was wearing a dressing gown and pyjama bottoms) with by back to my 2 year old daughter who was watching TV at the other end of the room. She told me not to make a noise as she did not want my daughter to know what we are doing. Then under my dressing gown she gave me a fantastic hand job. The whole time she was doing it I didn’t know if this was a tease of if she was going to let me cum at the end. At one point my daughter ran over to say hello so everything stopped just as I was starting to get close. We waited for her to go and sit back down before things started again and as you can imagine I got there very quickly. After asking permission I had a mind blowing cum in my pyjama bottoms, still trying to get the stains out now

However following on from my last post I left you with me going to give her the necklace and give her the orgasm denial contract. How did we get on? Well I decided that I did not want to do it whilst I was away this needed to be done face to face. The necklace she loves and has not taken off. However the “rules to the game” still have not yet been read and she thinks that this is some kind of weird stuff that is going to spoil everything. I have tried several times to say that this is just what we do now written down and with a financial penalty if I do something wrong, but as yet she is not in the right frame of mind to go through this with me so once again I am going to have to be patient and wait.

Then disaster struck. Her Mum became very ill all of a sudden and has recently passed away. Obviously the stress of the illness and the heart ach of loosing a parent has paid a big price (as you would expect) and she has retreated into herself saying that she does not even want me to watch her get undressed and for god sake don’t talk to me about all the sexual stuff. Kind of expected considering the situation however knowing my wife the way that I do I already know that this is not a couple of week grieving process before things get back to “normal” this will be a 3 to 6 month slow build back to where we were with a lot of work (by me) propping up her emotions. We are a married couple and she is the love of my life so I will always be there for her and she will get what ever she needs don’t get me wrong …….. however as I said when I started this 1 pace forward 12 paces back it will take me 3 to 6 months just to get back to where we were let alone sitting down with an orgasm denial contract and getting her to play along and enjoy the process.

Forget about the contract. Instead make a "what we do" list where you focus on what will be the fun parts of the game, and include what Sarah Jameson calls the "ground rules". Not as rules, but a description of where your limits will be, to give her a safe "operating environment".

My wife did not like the idea of a contract, but very much appreciated the "we do" list.

Firstly a thank you to kpb57 & Atone for the posts. Everybody if you have read this far please keep them cuming (pardon the pun)......

Well as you can see I have not posted for a while as things have been a bit different as you can imagine. However out of no where suddenly a complete shift.

I decided on January 1 2013 that I would start my Orgasm Denial contract and stick to the rules even if my wife had not been willing to read the contract, in the hope that one day she would suddenly decide to read it. As my contract has taken me a year to write I have put everything in there so that this contract is not just about orgasm denial but everything that could or will please my wife. I have sections on:-General Contract Rules - Legal type bits like 6 months to get out the contract, how fines are paid etc

Orgasm rules and authorisations- Confirms when I am allowed to ask to cum, when being teased when my wife has to stop etc

Wife specific rules- confirmation of what I can and can not touch and what authorisations I need to get to be able to touch interesting part

House hold chores and personal hygiene – all the jobs that are my responsibility, washing, cleaning etc as well as hygiene things like shaving, showers etc

Weight control – basically I am over weight and this is how I will loose one and half stone over the year

Fines – everything I do wrong has a fine, however my wife does not enjoy punishment (normal bdsm stuff) so these are all fines that have to be paid from my personal account to her in cash.

Agreement Signatures – where both of us sign

So as you can see I have realy gone to town on this (would love to post the whole thing to give people ideas of their own).

Anyway yesterday morning we both got up early and went down into the kitchen when my wife noticed that the bin was still full from the night before and needed changing. Part of my house hold chores is to proactively change any bin that is more then 80% full. I had seen it the night before but basically forgot. There was no getting out of it this was a finable offence. Admittedly a cheap one at just £10. So I went to work and on the way home stopped and got £10 cash out of the machine to give to my wife.

When I got home I was very careful with my words and said you don’t know this yet but today I have done something outside of our rules that you have not read yet and I need to pay you £10. My wife being a dog with a bone would not let it lie. What have you done wrong???? Have you cum without permission???Hell no! it would cost me a lot more then £10 if I had done that!!!!So what????

I explained about the bin.

Right that’s it, its time to look at the rules of yours and to see what this was all about.Then subsequently marched upstairs to the draw where the rules had been waiting for her to read for many months. Open the draw and sat on the bed and read it word for word.

She openly admitted that she really thought that I had done some kind of weird shit that she was going to hate and that the whole thing was going to be embarrassing again. But after reading the contract she suddenly started going through sayingOk I don’t want that, take that outI do want this put this in.

So I now have a whole new section on Social Activity and Motorbike rules. I am only allowed out to see friends two times a month and it must be in a week day evening never over the weekend. I have to ask for permission and give at least a weeks notice so that she can arrange things whilst I am out. My Motorbike rides (which I love) are unlimited (within reason) in the week in the evening however also require notice and should I have a bike ride over the weekend this is a major even and makes changes to what I am allowed to do socially. So in a nut shell I am now very limited in when I have any personal life as my key actions are servicing her, washing cleaning and time with my daughter.

Also she wanted in a couple of other things that are her pet hates such and itching or scratching my genitals etc

So I have done a redraft today and just taking it home to be signed….

Then that’s it… Several years in the waiting and now more then I had ever dreamed it would seem my wife is in control and liking it. Lets see what fun we can have now

Will i ever be blessed with the opertunity to be locked in chastity. Possibly not .... but for now this is a major step in the right direction.

p.s. I have not cum since 31/12/2012 so starting to get very horny and dribbly now, I wonder how long i will have to wait before i am instructed to cum. The kicker is I am not allowed to ask as this brings her no pleasure I must be instructed for her reasoning (i.e. she want her one a month penatrive sex and needs me fresh so i perform)

Well kpb57 it would seem that you were right after all. Lesson to all, listen to people that have done it before i might save you from going through the same pain.

In true tradition of my wife we have taken 10 paces forward and 5 paces back.After going through the contract the wife was adding and adding loads of different bits. Things were looking good. Then we decided that it was time for a night for some fun but there were to many rules and basically it is the worst it has been for years.

We both realised that it was to much. As it stands the contract has literally been torn up and thrown in the bin. However as I spent best part of a week with no chastity and no rules I decided it was time to indulge myself. Out with the porn and the right hand. within a couple of days the wife had noticed a big difference, she was having to sort the washing as it was not done, the bins were full as they had not been emptied, here evening cuddles had stopped as I was sitting on the other sofa watching action films on my laptop.

Surprise surprise she decided that we had made a mistake and that we should not get rid of everything just tone it down. And rather then a contract lets just have a set of rules that we agree to (not signed). We agreed this time that these need to be written together as writing this individually for the other to amend just doesn’t work.

So I am just waiting for the wife to choose the evening to for us to go through and right out the rules. In the mean time I am going to enjoy a bit of free time watching films, being lazy and making best use of my right hand. I am quite sure that very soon i will have a new set of rules in place and i will be back to my attentive, dribbley, horny self.

Who knows now that she is starting to understand the gift that I have being trying to give her for years there could be an opportunity to open the door into full chastity. To be honest I doubt it, but as my wife is beginning to understand I need rules and control else I will just turn into a normal man. If she wants a horny, helpfully, happy husband orgasm denial / chastity is our route to happiness.

Orgasm denial has been wonderful for me too. I love giving that control to my lady. I am not in chastity all the time, but I routinely go 10 to 12 days without cumming...sometimes in chastity sometimes not. Due in part to my travel for work, I can't stay in chastity all the time. So she has taken control of my orgasms and at the same time we make sure that she gets plenty of them.

As it happens she likes to fuck but I have control problems. It has been quite frustrating for her when we can't find a bull to fuck her and she needs to be filled up with hard cock. She tries to go easy on me, but usually I can't control it and cum long before she does. Or even before she really gets started.

So, we found a very expensive silicon cock sheath or extension. These things are great...thick enough to keep me from cumming (usually) but realistic and big enough to really get her off. She has cum every time I have fucked her with it, and as long as I'm careful I usually can't cum. It is so amazing to see her enjoying such a big cock and me being able to really give it to her while getting no physical pleasure. I really can't feel a thing. The only times I've cum it's just from the mental excitement or because I put too much lube on me to get it on and I slipped around too much.

She said the other day when I was fucking her with the extension and after she'd already cum on it..."it feels so good....why is it so good with this thing on you?" And I just said "because it's twice the size of my cock, honey. It's thick and warm and stays firm and hard as long as you need it." If you want to see a pic of the extension and read a little more about our female led relationship..not exactly the same as chastity, but it works for us...go to our blog at: happysharingcouple dot blogspot dot com.

Well Hotrob99 thanks for your comment and sorry that it has taken me 3 or 4 years to respond.

I must say very envious of you being able to use a cock extender I would love to with my wife but she would never let us use anything that is fake and not real.

Well going back to my storey things have not gone well......

The contracts have goneThe female control has goneAsking for any permission has goneAnd trying to us or talk her into any kind of chastity has also got so bad that even the discussion will start and argument and end up with her in tears. It's got so bad that all chastity has been band from our house...

So I have not posted on here for years as to do so would just be fake...So I have turned to my other love of motorbikes outside of the normal family life.From a sex life point of view it has kind of carried on in a similar pattern with having sex about once a month and I will spend time of fore play to make her cum then there will be a excersice work out that is me having sex with very little enjoyment and not a lot of feeling.

All that said I love me wife and have just had to go with it.

However recently I have started to get back into chastity and now it is a bit easier as I am away from home a lot more as I now have a global job and have to travel so have decided to take every opportunity to get back into chastity when ever not at home. Now I have learned to do it for myself. I love the feeling of waring a device. I love my device and have a perfect fit and can ware it for many days without any issue on the fit. If I am to love chastity I am to do it all myself.... but that's ok....