Introduction 2

[A bedroom in the Lord’s house. Enter Sly followed by attendants carrying clothes and other items, and then the Lord.]

Sly

For God's sake, a pot of small ale.

First Servant

Will't please your lordship drink a cup of sack?

Second Servant

Will't please your honor taste of these conserves?

Third Servant

What raiment will your honor wear today?

Sly

Performance

Sly, Lines 5-11

I am Christophero Sly; call not me 'honor' nor 'lordship.'

I ne'er drank sack in my life; and if you give me any

[Enter aloft the drunkard (Sly) with attendants (some with apparel, basin and pitcher, and other luxurious accessories) and Lord]

Sly

For God’s sake, get me a mug of weak beer!

First Servingman

Would your lordship not like a glass of foreign wine?

Second Servingman

Would your honor like to taste these candied fruits?

Third Servingman

What outfit does your honor want to wear today?

Sly

I’m Christophero Sly, not your honor or your lordship! I’ve never had foreign wine in my life. And I’d rather have salted beef than candied fruits! Don’t ask me what outfit I want to wear, either. I have no more jackets than I have backs, no more tights than I have legs, and no more shoes than I have feet. And sometimes, I have more feet than I have shoes. Or my shoes are so worn that my toes peek through the tops.

Lord

May the heavens take this foolish state of mind from your honor! Oh, how was this great man, with his noble lineage, with all his possessions and his reputation, taken over by such an unhealthy state?

conserves, give me conserves of beef. Ne'er ask me what

raiment I'll wear; for I have no more doublets than backs,

no more stockings than legs, nor no more shoes than feet —

nay, sometimes more feet than shoes, or such shoes as

My toes look through the overleather.

Lord

Performance

Lord, Lines 12-15

Heaven cease this idle humor in your honor!

O, that a mighty man of such descent,

Of such possessions and so high esteem,

Should be infused with so foul a spirit!

Sly

Performance

Sly, Lines 16-23

What, would you make me mad? Am not I Christopher

Sly, old Sly's son of Burtonheath, by birth a peddler, by

education a cardmaker, by transmutation a bear-herd,

Cultural Context

“by education a cardmaker, by transmutation a bear-herd”

[Click to see note.]

Cultural Context

“by education a cardmaker, by transmutation a bear-herd”

Cards are metal combs used to comb out wool before processing. A bear-herd was someone who took care of a trained bear that was toured around the countryside for entertainment.

and now by present profession a tinker? Ask Marian

Hacket, the fat ale-wife of Wincot, if she know me not. If

she say I am not fourteen pence on the score for sheer ale,

score me up for the lyingest knave in Christendom. What,

I am not bestraught! Here's —

Third Servant

O, this it is that makes your lady mourn!

Second Servant

Sly

Wait, are you trying to make me crazy? Am I not Christopher Sly, son of old Sly from Burtonheath, born to be a salesman, trained to be a comb-maker, fated to be a keeper of trained bears, and now a vagabond? Ask Marian Hacket, the fat bar owner from Wincot, if she knows me! If she says she doesn’t know me — if she says I don’t owe her fourteen pence for cheap beer alone, then I’m the biggest lying scoundrel in the Christian world. No, I’m not insane. Here’s —

Third Servingman

Oh, this is exactly what makes your wife sad!

Second Servingman

Oh, this is exactly what makes your servants sad!

Lord

This is why your family avoids your house, scared away by your strange madness. Oh noble lord, think about your lineage; bring back your former thoughts from exile; and exile instead your miserable, pathetic fantasies. Look how your servants tend to you, each in his position, waiting for your command. Do you want music? [Music] Listen! The god of music himself plays, and twenty caged nightingales sing!

O, this is it that makes your servants droop!

Lord

Performance

Lord, Lines 26-44

Hence comes it that your kindred shuns your house,

As beaten hence by your strange lunacy.

O noble lord, bethink thee of thy birth,

Call home thy ancient thoughts from banishment,

And banish hence these abject lowly dreams.

Look how thy servants do attend on thee,

Each in his office ready at thy beck.

Wilt thou have music? [Music] Hark, Apollo plays

And twenty cagèd nightingales do sing.

Or wilt thou sleep? We'll have thee to a couch

Softer and sweeter than the lustful bed,

Historical Allusion

“the lustful bed, on purpose trimmed up for Semiramis”

[Click to see note.]

Historical Allusion

“the lustful bed, on purpose trimmed up for Semiramis”

Semiramis was a legendary queen of the ancient kingdom of Assyria, which encompassed what is today Syria and Iraq. She was reported to have been extremely voluptuous.

On purpose trimmed up for Semiramis.

Say thou wilt walk; we will bestrew the ground.

Or wilt thou ride? Thy horses shall be trapped,

Their harness studded all with gold and pearl.

Word Nerd

“trapped”

[Click to see note.]

Word Nerd

“trapped”

We’re all familiar with the word trap, like the kind used to catch mice. But in Shakespeare day, there was another word with identical spelling and pronunciation. This second “trap” derived from the Latin word, drappus — a piece of cloth (which also produced our modern word “drapes”). It referred to the fancy covering adorning a nobleman’s horse, a meaning still reflected in expressions such as “the trappings of success.”

Dost thou love hawking? Thou hast hawks will soar

(Lord)

Do you want to sleep? We’ll put you on a couch softer and nicer than the romantic bed prepared for the queen Semiramis. If you want to walk, we’ll carpet the ground with flower petals; if you want to ride, your horses will be dressed up, their harnesses studded with gold and pearls. Do you like to hunt with hawks? You have hawks that’ll soar above the other birds. Or do you want to hunt with dogs? Your howling hounds will make the sky answer them, and make the hollow earth echo.

First Servingman

If you want to race, your greyhound dogs are as swift as trained deer — or even faster.

Second Servingman

Do you like paintings? Straight away we’ll get you Adonis painted by a running brook, and Cytherea hidden among grass that looks like it’s moving and swaying with her breath — just like real grass waves in the wind.

Above the morning lark. Or wilt thou hunt?

Thy hounds shall make the welkin answer them,

And fetch shrill echoes from the hollow earth.

First Servant

Say thou wilt course; thy greyhounds are as swift

As breathèd stags — ay, fleeter than the roe.

Second Servant

Dost thou love pictures? We will fetch thee straight

Adonis painted by a running brook,

And Cytherea all in sedges hid,

Which seem to move and wanton with her breath,

Even as the waving sedges play with wind.

Lord

We'll show thee Io as she was a maid,

And how she was beguilèd and surprised —

As lively painted as the deed was done.

Third Servant

Or Daphne roaming through a thorny wood

Scratching her legs, that one shall swear she bleeds;

And at that sight shall sad Apollo weep,

Mythological Allusions

Adonis, Cytherea, Io, Daphne, Apollo

[Click to see note.]

Mythological Allusions

Adonis, Cytherea, Io, Daphne, Apollo

These are references to erotic scenes from ancient Greek mythology:

Adonis and Cytherea. The goddess Cytherea (Venus) became infatuated with the Greek mortal Adonis when she hid herself among the reeds of a river bank and watched him bathing.

Io. Io was a beautiful princess with whom Zeus, king the gods, fell in love. Zeus subsequently tricked her into having sex with him.

Daphne and Apollo. The god Apollo fell in love with Daphne, but she didn’t want anything to do with him. He chased her through the woods, but another god saved her from being ravished by Apollo by turning her into a laurel tree. This myth gave rise to the custom of presenting a laurel wreath to the victor of a battle or sports competition.

Lord

We’ll show you Io when she was a maiden, tricked and surprised, in a painting as lively as if you were watching the moment happening.

Third Servingman

Or Daphne rushing through a thorny forest, scratching her legs so it looks like she’s really bleeding, and like Apollo’s really weeping at this sight — so skillfully will the blood and tears be painted.

Lord

You’re a lord, and nothing but a lord. You have a wife far more beautiful than any woman in times like these.

First Servingman

And before the tears she sheds for you ran all over her face like terrible floods, she was the most beautiful creature in the world; and even now, she’s not inferior to anyone.

So workmanly the blood and tears are drawn.

Lord

Thou art a lord, and nothing but a lord.

Thou hast a lady far more beautiful

Than any woman in this waning age.

Cultural Context

“this waning age”

[Click to see note.]

Cultural Context

“this waning age”

It was a common notion that the world had been steadily declining — or waning — ever since Adam and Eve committed the original sin in the Garden of Eden.

First Servant

And till the tears that she hath shed for thee,

Like envious floods o'errun her lovely face,

She was the fairest creature in the world;

And yet she is inferior to none.

Sly

Performance

Sly, Lines 66-73

Am I a lord, and have I such a lady?

Or do I dream? Or have I dreamed till now?

I do not sleep — I see, I hear, I speak;

I smell sweet savours and I feel soft things.

Upon my life, I am a lord indeed,

And not a tinker nor Christopher Sly.

Well, bring our lady hither to our sight,

Cultural Context

“bring our lady hither to our sight”

[Click to see note.]

Cultural Context

“bring our lady hither to our sight”

Sly’s really getting into his new status as an aristocrat. He’s already started referring to himself in the third-person-plural. This mannerism is referred to as “the royal we” because only kings employed it. A king believed himself to be God’s appointed ruler on earth, so when he did something, he wasn’t acting alone — he and God were acting together.

Sly

Am I a lord? And do I have a wife like that? Or am I dreaming? Or have I been dreaming until now? I’m not asleep. I can see, and hear, and speak; I smell sweet scents and feel soft things. Well, I’ll be! I guess I’m a lord, and not a vagabond — not Christopher Sly! Well, bring my wife here, let me see her — and I still want my mug of weak beer.

Second Servingman

Mighty lord, would you like to wash your hands? Oh, we’re so joyful to see you back to normal! Oh, we wish you only remembered who you are! For the last fifteen years you’ve been in a dream, and when you woke up, it seemed like you were still asleep.

Sly

The last fifteen years? Wow, that’s a long nap. And I didn’t talk during that whole time?

And once again, a pot o’ th’ smallest ale.

Second Servant

Will't please your mightiness to wash your hands?

O, how we joy to see your wit restored!

O, that once more you knew but what you are!

These fifteen years you have been in a dream,

Or when you waked, so waked as if you slept.

Sly

These fifteen years! By my fay, a goodly nap.

But did I never speak of all that time?

First Servant

O, yes, my lord, but very idle words.

For though you lay here in this goodly chamber,

Yet would you say ye were beaten out of door,

And rail upon the hostess of the house,

And say you would present her at the leet,

Because she brought stone jugs and no sealed quarts.

Cultural Context

“she brought stone jugs and no sealed quarts”

[Click to see note.]

Cultural Context

“she brought stone jugs and no sealed quarts”

Tavern owners sometimes scammed their customers by serving bootleg ale from unmarked jugs instead of licensed ale, which came in containers sealed with inspectors’ stamps.

First Servingman

Oh, yes, you talked, my lord, but only silly words. Though you lay here in your splendid bedroom, you’d say you were being kicked out of a tavern, and yell at the hostess of the inn. You’d say you’d accuse her in court of cheating you out of ale by selling sketchily measured stone jugs instead of officially sealed quarts. Sometimes you’d call out for Cicely Hacket.

Sly

Yeah, she’s the hostess’s maid.

Third Servingman

But sir, you don’t know that inn or that maid! And you don’t know the men you’ve listed, either: Stephen Sly and old John Naps of Greece, and Peter Turph and Henry Pimpernel, and twenty more names and men like this, which never existed, and have never been seen.

Sly

Then thank the Lord for my recovery!

All

Amen.

Sometimes you would call out for Cicely Hacket.

Sly

Ay, the woman's maid of the house.

Third Servant

Why, sir, you know no house nor no such maid,

Nor no such men as you have reckoned up,

As Stephen Sly and old John Naps of Greet,

And Peter Turph, and Henry Pimpernel,

And twenty more such names and men as these

Which never were, nor no man ever saw.

Sly

Now Lord be thanked for my good amends.

All

Amen

Wordplay

“for my good amends … Amen.”

[Click to see note.]

Wordplay

“for my good amends … Amen.”

Another subtle bit of wordplay.

[Enter the Lord’s page, dressed as a lady, with attendants]

Sly

I thank thee. Thou shalt not lose by it.

Page

[Dressed as a maiden]

How fares my noble lord?

Sly

Marry, I fare well for here is cheer enough.

Language

“Marry, I fare well for here is cheer enough”

[Click to see note.]

Language

“Marry, I fare well for here is cheer enough”

“Marry” is short for “Virgin Mary.” It’s a mild oath, similar to our saying “For heaven’s sake!” The page has asked Sly how he “fares,” or how he’s doing. Sly naturally interprets “fare” to refer to its other sense – drinking.

Sly

Page

Sly

Madam wife, they say that I’ve dreamed and slept for fifteen years or more.

Page

Yes, and to me it feels like thirty years, all this time banned from your bed.

Sly

That’s a long time. Servants, leave me and her alone.

[Exeunt Lord and Servingmen]

Madam, get undressed and come to bed.

Page

Oh very noble lord, please pardon me another night or two, or at least until the sun sets. Your doctors have specifically said — to avoid the danger of your former illness — that I should still stay out of your bed. I hope this reason holds up as my excuse.

Sly

Yeah, it holds up so much that I don’t think I can delay that long. But I don’t want to start dreaming again. So I’ll delay in spite of my lust.

Or, if not so, until the sun be set,

For your physicians have expressly charged,

In peril to incur your former malady,

That I should yet absent me from your bed.

I hope this reason stands for my excuse.

Sly

Ay, it stands so that I may hardly tarry so long. But I

would be loath to fall into my dreams again. I will

therefore tarry in despite of the flesh and the blood.

[Enter a Messenger]

Messenger

Performance

Messenger, Lines 126-133

Your honor's players, hearing your amendment,

Cultural Context

“Your honor’s players”

[Click to see note.]

Cultural Context

“Your honor’s players”

The actors are a traveling troupe, but the Messenger speaks as if they are Sly’s own private acting company. Only the very wealthiest of noblemen could afford such a luxury.

Are come to play a pleasant comedy;

For so your doctors hold it very meet,

Seeing too much sadness hath congealed your blood,

And melancholy is the nurse of frenzy.

Therefore they thought it good you hear a play

And frame your mind to mirth and merriment,

Which bars a thousand harms, and lengthens life.

Sly

Marry, I will. Let them play it. Is not a comonty a

[Enter a Servingman]

Messenger

Your honor’s actors, hearing of your recovery, have come to perform a pleasant comedy, since this is what your doctors think is suitable. Seeing that too much sadness congealed in your blood — and melancholy leads to madness — the doctors thought it would be good for you to see a play, and experience joy and merriment, which prevents a thousand harms and lengthens life.

Sly

Okay, I’ll watch the play. But what is a comedy — a Christmas skit, or an acrobatic show?