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Count Fastracula recently took a trip to Mexico to meet his creator–Heather Harwood–the woman whose illustrations breathed life into his undead, plushy form. With a few hours to kill on a layover in Mexico City, he decided to take in some of the city’s tastes and sights.

A craving for seafood led us to a little restaurant known for its delicious crab claws–manitos de cangrejo (little crab hands). But thanks to the Count’s butchery of the language, he actually ordered a considerably less appealing dish–manitos de conejo (little rabbit hands). If not for our waiter’s ability to interpret the Count’s horrifying pronunciation, instead of a crab feast, we’d have dined on the appendages of Bambi’s little pal Thumper.

But the embarrassments didn’t stop there. The Count doesn’t like seeds in his salsa, so he attempts to request it sin semillas (without seeds). However, his pronunciation sounds more like sin semena (without semen). The next time you’re out for Mexican food, ask for semen-free salsa and enjoy the wild-eyed stares and giggles.

After some food, there was just enough time for a little sight-seeing before catching our flight to meet the Count’s creator, Heather. (Some sights were more interesting than others.)

The Count took to Heather right away. They got to know each other over margaritas.

All too soon it was time to head back to the airport and home. Until next time, adios Mexico! And may your salsa always be sin semena.