Staying Focused

Why Waking Up Is Getting Harder Every Day

What was it like to wake up 10 years ago? The sun came up, and, typically about half an hour earlier than you wished, your alarm clock went off. Just like today, you’d wake up with a lot on your mind 10 years ago. A full day ahead of you. Tons of responsibilities, many balls in the air.

But starting with the alarm clock, waking up 10 years ago was different from waking up today. Back then, you hit your alarm clock and got up. Maybe you looked out the window, grabbed your pants, headed into the kitchen to put on the coffee. Maybe you dawdled a bit, maybe you were up and at 'em. But your feet hit the floor and you began the day on your own turf, on your own terms.

Good morning, 2012

Today, chances are your alarm clock is your phone, and chances are your phone is a smartphone. After silencing the alarm, you grab the phone and, still in bed, start your day by scrolling through your overnight email, Twitter and Facebook updates to check out what you missed while you were asleep. Your feet haven’t even hit the floor yet, and already other people are dictating the way your day is going to go. Will there be a stressful late-night email from a colleague? Will you inadvertently see some mood-destroying update from your ex? Will a celebrity you haven’t thought about for years have just died, triggering a totally unexpected wave of nostalgia for a time in your life when you occasionally watched a short-lived TV show on which they appeared?

Your attention and your mood are now at the mercy of whatever happened for the eight (OK, six) blissful hours you were unconscious, and you haven’t even looked over to kiss your girlfriend good morning yet.

Meanwhile, 10-years-ago-you is going about his morning. He’s having coffee, maybe he’s reading the paper. And yes, the paper’s full of bad news every day. But he’s up, and he’s awake. If his girlfriend shuffles into the kitchen in her robe, adorably tousled, we don’t have to tell you that it’s easier to look up and take notice from the morning paper than it is to look up from your smartphone.

Good morning, 2002

Ten years ago, waking up was easier. You were the boss of your morning. Your workday hadn’t started yet. Your time, outside of work, was undeniably yours.

Today, we’ve ceded control over our time without even realizing it. We think of checking Facebook and email all day as an exercise of free will, and it is, until that demanding email or irritating status update derails our focus — totally unnecessarily — for the next 20 minutes.

This isn’t over-sensitivity — it’s protectiveness. We should be more protective of our time and focus. At this point in history, if you’re not vigilant about where your focus goes, it will be manipulated without your consent.

You are the boss of your time

The first question, then, is where do you want your focus to go? Let’s start back at your alarm clock. What is required of you for the first hour of your day? If catching up on email before you leave the house in the morning is crucial to meeting your day’s goals, then by all means go for it. But we’re willing to bet that for most of you, that first email, Twitter and Facebook check won’t make or break the flow of the rest of the day. Why not decide to wake up a little earlier and make coffee for yourself and your girlfriend? Why not spend 15 minutes easing into your day while chatting with her, or playing with your kid or your dog? You might find that you’re feeling a lot less harried when you leave the house. If you think of this prework time as unassailably yours, you will have an easier time being a gatekeeper for what is allowed to be part of your morning routine, and what isn’t.

Your focus needs a strict gatekeeper

For better or worse, your work day is owned by your employer. Whatever happens to your time at work is more or less between you and your boss. But once you get home in the evening, you’re back in control. Do you want to spend the evening catching up on Mad Men? Then do it — but do it because you made a conscious decision, not just because you just kind of slid into it, slack and submissive.

Think critically about how you use your time. You’ll start to recognize habits and patterns you didn’t realize were there. Thinking about what you would be doing if you turned the clock back 10 years is a quick way to tease out the helpful tech shortcuts that are making your life easier from the time spent surfing YouTube when you could be out throwing around a frisbee with your dog.

Changing those habits and patterns isn’t easy, and every guy's habits are uniquely his, adapted to fit his strengths and weaknesses like a supple calfskin glove. But identifying them and reminding yourself (daily, if necessary) that you are the only one looking out for your free time is the essential first step toward being the master of your own time and focus.