Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Lets get right to it. I'm an expert on the NFC East so all the information you are about to see here is as good as gold.

Last year, the NFC East ended up like this;Cowpussies: 11-5Thank God that fuck is gone: 11-5G Men: 8-8Foreskins: 4-12

Best division in football, yet again. If you're not a part of it then you just don't understand. Don't hate me cause you ain't me.

1. Dallas Cowboys. 11-5. Vegas Total Wins Line: 10.I'm not sold on the Cowboys like most other people. Tony Homo is a habitual loser and cocksucker, Wade Phillips is still the head coach, and I will give it 'til Week 7 until Dez Bryant's mom is doing blow out of patrons ass cracks in Jerry's World. There is too much uncertainty with the other teams in this division to move Dallas out of the top spot, but Romo is a born loser so spare me the Super Bowl talk. OVER.

2. Philadelphia Eagles. 9-7. Vegas Total Wins Line: 8.I look down the schedule and it is just a buzzsaw. The Eagles were 11-5 last year with a horrible defense and McChoke bouncing balls off the turf half the time. Now we have the Young Guns running the show on offense and a couple key additions on defense in Brandon Graham and Nate Allen. We are going to be a better team, but the schedule might be too much to overcome. We will struggle early, but I expect us to make a late charge once everybody has gelled together...I just don't know if there will be any room for us in the playoffs. OVER

3. New York Giants. 8-8. Vegas Total Wins Line: 8.5.Why are so many people up on the Giants? Adam Schefter was on ESPN Radio yesterday picking the Giants to win the division but he couldn't even come up with a reason why. Either can I. Eli is still Eli. The players still hate Coughlin. The defense is still going to give up insane amounts of yardage through the air. Can the emergence of Hakeem Nicks really mean anything? Somebody please explain to me why this is a playoff team? UNDER.

4. Washington Redskins. 6-10. Vegas Total Wins Line: 8.First of all, that line is a fucking joke. How can you possibly believe the Skins are on the same level as the Eagles or Giants? McNabb will not start more than 10 games because the pass protection is garbage. Even if he were starting all year it wouldn't matter, how much can you really expect when your starting WR's are Joey FUCKING Galloway and Santana Moss. I know, G Money, you have two TE's. How horrible does your team have to be when you comeback for somebody telling you your team sucks is, "Yeah, but our tight ends are fucking sweet." What a joke. UNDER.

Breakout Fantasy Player: LeSean McCoy is pretty obvious, but he is definitely about to breakout. But there is another running back that is flying under the radar; Ahmad Bradshaw. At my last auction draft Brandon Jacobs went for more money than Bradshaw. That's a product of morons and the legend of Jacobs, a 6'5" monster who everybody thinks can score TD's at will. Well, the Giants are handing the reigns over to Bradshaw and Jacobs role will continue to fade as the season goes on. So don't be afraid to go out and get Bradshaw if you still need another starting RB. Odds are the owner has no idea what he has.

You're putting an awful lot of faith in a team whose starting quarterback threw zero touchdowns in the pre-season...and I don't wanna hear this "it doesn't matter because it's only the pre-season" bull shit. The pre-season does matter. If Matt Leinart and Derek Anderson managed to throw at least one TD pass in the Pre-season, there's no excuse for Kolb. By the end of the season you'll be on your knees begging for McNabb back.