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40K Taunting: the art of the Warhammer Haiku

Hey Folks! NoName1 here again, this time to talk about one of my favorite aspects of Warhammer 40K:
Taunting!One of my most frequent opponents and I have a tradition. That is, when we're itching for a game (whether we have one planned soon or not) we craft a suitably offensive Haiku.

A Haiku, for those not familiar with it, is a Japanese poem form, consisting of syllable-limited lines in the order of "5 / 7 / 5."
...Technically, it's also supposed to include reference to seasons, colors, and some kind of "cutting" transition, but as long as you've got the syllables, I tend to be pretty lax.

Here are some of my favorites from my back and forth:

My boyz are hungry

They've had no Eldar brain soup

In so many days!

The boyz are all chaff

Swaying in a gentle breeze

Soon to be reaped!

I have a question

Can those dirty 'Nids grow beards?

No? Embarrassing.

Eldar War engines

Eldritch weapons primed hot

Come silent and swift!

Catastrophe looms

Eldar blood will soak the soil

For I have returned!

You are not prepared

Upstart mon-keigh laddie-o

Fear shenanigans!

That was eloquent

But I can't hear your voice

Over bikes roaring!

Or, since we're talking NaCl, no charge!

Meow meow me-

BGGGHWOOBOOM!!

Explosives are sweet

Dark Angels' bikes charge

Roaring around in circles

They forgot the map

They have hip haircuts

But not nearly as sweet as

Headless Tyranids

Space Marines are

So juicy and delicious

But first so crunchy!

They say it's the calm

That comes before the worst storms

Nah, it's Dark Angels!

Dark Angels lie down

Peaceful in their calm repose

All dead in the dust!

This is how we goad each other into making mistakes before we start a game. How do you taunt your opponents? Stern glare? Hydraulic dice box?

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