Shalom Y’all!

This site shows what happens when the "Chosen People" choose pork. North Carolina pork barbecue to be specific.
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Thanks to several alert readers, most notably (for his alias) Mr. “Portly Pirate”, for pulling themselves away from their munchies long enough to point out a highly interesting story from Gaston County.

According to news accounts, the owner of a local barbecue restaurant confused pit-cooking for pot-cooking, as he and three others were arrested on drug charges after an undercover agent bought over 30 pounds of barbecue marijuana on/near the premises. The restaurant’s name? Smokey’s BBQ, natch.

I should note that Porky LeSwine generally follows the “judge not lest ye be judged” philosophy. But 30 pounds is a whole lot of weed. Perhaps the good folks at Smokey’s caught the spirit of the Campaign for Real Barbecue and were starting a neo-traditional alternative to wood-cooked BBQ: weed-cooked BBQ. One can only speculate.

Finally, I try not to stereotype folks, but one look at the pictures of the suspects and the only question in my mind is not “Are they really pot dealers” but rather “Where they are hiding their meth stash?” A quick visit to the restaurant’s Facebook page reveals no answer to that question, but interestingly posts from early April indicate that the restaurant was going out of business. That seems all but certain now. I guess my dreams of a barbecue sandwich with a scoop of marijuana slaw are dashed again.

Leave it to the elected officials of Alabama to take crazy to another level, an ignominious tradition they’ve upheld for decades. In his Washington Post blog, journalist (and bona fide yankee*) Reid Wilson notes that Alabama State Representative Steve Hurst believes so strongly in the 2nd amendment that he towed a “gun-shaped barbecue” behind his truck. Yes, you read that right. Read the full story (and see the picture) in the Post.

Gun control supporters should take solace that the cooker in question is a simple revolver, not an assault weapon. Better yet, there is no propane tank in sight (could it be that this apparent nut job is a supporter of the Campaign for Real Barbecue?). Upon reflection, perhaps Representative Hurst deserves everyone’s vote.

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*Southerners everywhere should, of course, note the author’s deep ignorance of the south based on him referring to a grill/cooker as a “barbecue”. If only that pesky 1st amendment to the constitution were amended, we could prevent such disgraceful speech.

Surely any judge worth his or her robe would agree that this defendant is unfit for trial and should plead insanity: A Salisbury man broke into a barbecue restaurant and stole… bacon?! Read the unsavory details at http://www.salisburypost.com/article/20140203/SP01/140209908/1016

Big news in the pork industry today according to the porkNetwork website, which I visit religiously… and by “religiously” I mean that I visit a few times a year on high holidays! A company from China called the Shuanghui Group plans to acquire Virginia’s Smithfield Foods for roughly $5 billion cash (in a very large briefcase full of unmarked $50 bills, I assume).

Will there be any pork left for us barbecue loving Americans after the Chinese are done meeting their import appetite? If I were you, I’d start stocking my pantry with as many barbecue sandwiches as will fit… this could be Y2K all over again, but this time the stakes are high.

Although this blog focuses on North Carolina barbecue, I do concede that barbecue (if you want to call it that) exists elsewhere, even in parts of Texas. Having recently traveled to Texas to indulge in some of that state’s good eats, I feel obliged to pass along news of the recently published Texas Monthly Top 50 List. Read the news here or see the full list here by 5/22. Austin’s much-hyped, and much respected, Franklin Barbecue takes the top spot in the rankings, a surprise to nobody, least of all the people who spend hours in line to sample the food. (Franklin is one spot I decided not to visit on my recent trip, as my barbecue itinerary was too crowded and my hipster immune system too low to manage the wait in line.)

I always have mixed feelings about Top X lists of any sort, whether music, movies, nose hair trimmers or, yes, barbecue. I prefer the concept of the NC Barbecue Society’s Barbecue Trail, in which all traditional joints that are included (more should be but that’s another post) are given equal billing. However, the Top 50 list certainly does generate a lot of publicity and excitement, and perhaps it keeps joints from complacency, as the list is updated every several years.

Sadly, I don’t think there are I am certain there are not 50 barbecue joints in North Carolina that are worthy of inclusion on a Top 50 list, whereas Texas has plenty of well qualified places to choose from. But I digress…