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(URGENT) PLEASE HELP ME CORRECT MY LETTER

I would appreciate any help to correct my letter. It's my first letter to one of university faculty members and it's really urgent.

Dear professor XXX

I am a recent graduate of University of XXX in XXX with a bachelor’s degree in electrical engineering majoring in electronics. Since I was one of the top three students at my major, I have been accepted to continue my education through a master’s degree at the same university as a talented student without an entrance exam. However, since I did not find any remarkable challenge in my B.S education there, I am really keen to pursue my graduate studies in XXX and particularly at the XXX University and be a part of the graduate program at this institution due to its great research opportunities and facilities as well as utilize your specialty in my first choice field, communications.

During my undergraduate studies, while broadening my knowledge of many new concepts of analogue and digital electronics, I had some supplementary studies and did some of my optional courses in communication systems which helped me find my places of interests in this field. And I wrote my thesis on cooperative diversity in wireless networks. I have a great enthusiasm with some research areas you have been involved with including Multi-input multi-output (MIMO) communication, Cooperative Communications and Performance analysis over fading channels. Some of your journal papers, namely “On the Distortion Exponents of Layered Broadcast Transmission in Multi-Relay Cooperative Networks” really attract me. Your in-depth Knowledge and longitudinal researches on my scientific interests and my own ambition to further my knowledge and conduct qualitative studies make me believe that I could quench my thirst for knowledge under your supervision and as one of your master students.

In enclosing herewith my CV, I look forward to hearing from you soon. If I can provide you with any further information on my background and qualifications, please let me know. Thank you for your consideration.
Yours sincerely,
XXX

Re: (URGENT) PLEASE HELP ME CORRECT MY LETTER

Originally Posted by leila nejad

I would appreciate any help to correct my letter. It's my first letter to one of university faculty members and it's really urgent.

Dear professor XXX

I am a recent graduate of University of XXX in XXX with a bachelor’s degree in electrical engineering majoring in electronics. Since I was one of the top three talented students atin my major, I have been offered admission into the accepted to continue my education through a master’s degree program at the same university as a talented student without needing to take an entrance exam. However, since I did not find any remarkable challenge in my B.S education there, I am really keen to pursue my graduate studies in XXX and particularly at the XXX University and be a part of the graduate program at this institution due to its great research opportunities and facilities as well as utilize your specialty in my first choice field, communications.However, after learning about XXX University and the communications related research work being conducted by its faculty, I would like to purse my graduate studies in XXX at your university under your guidance.

During my undergraduate studies, few of the supplementary studies and optional courses I took in communication systems category piqued my interests in this area. I have always been inclined to broaden my knowledge of many new concepts ofthe advances in analogue and digital electronics. , I had some supplementary studies and did some of my optional courses in communication systems which helped me find my places of interests in this field. And I wrote My thesis focused on cooperative diversity in wireless networks. I have a great enthusiasm witham enthusiastic about some of the research areas you have been involved with including Multi-input multi-output (MIMO) communication, Cooperative Communications and Performance analysis over fading channels. I was drawn towards some of your journal papers, namelyparticularly “On the Distortion Exponents of Layered Broadcast Transmission in Multi-Relay Cooperative Networks” really attract me. Your in-depth Knowledge and longitudinal researches on my scientific interests and my own ambition to further my knowledge and conduct qualitative studies make me believe that I could quench my thirst for knowledge under your supervision and as one of your master students. Given my interests in your areas of research specialization, I request the opportunity to purse my masters degree under your supervision.

I am enclosing my CV for your review. In enclosing herewith my CV, I look forward to hearing from you soon. If I can provide you with any further information on my background and qualifications, please let me know. Thank you for your consideration, and I look forward to hearing your response to my request.