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Wine is a computer program for Unix-type operating systems, with the primary purpose being to whine, hence the name.

Supposely, Wine is supposed to be used with other programs, typically Windows games or various versions of explorer. It has also, with limitted success, been used to attempt to generate BSoDs when using primitive other operating systems that somehow do not come with such functionality.

There are multiple ways to use Wine. The easiest and fastest is to perhaps type 'wine' into a terminal, and watch it do its magic. The gnome-panel also has a Wine menu, but research into that has determined that it is odd. Or rather, that the gnome-panel is stupid and does not actually work with Wine. Another way is to pray to the gods of technology, but that can have rather mixed results, including an excess of beard hair.

If one wants Wine to actually work, several steps must be taken. First, the person needs to make sure that they are not already using Windows, which has its own, built-in applications for whining. Then, one needs to actually install it. This is a crucial step that has tripped up many users in the past -- while it may not be apparent, most programs do not in fact work until they are installed, if even then. (There are some exceptions. We don't know what they are, but we're sure they exist. They always exist.) There is one last step that must be taken before Wine will whine about applications other than itself. It should be updated, if possible to the latest version that exists, because that one will contain the most bugs. Which, for once, is exactly what we want.[citation needed]

Then just open a terminal (type 'xterm' in a gnome-terminal, or visa versa, or something) and type 'wine' + the name of some application.

What, precisely, Wine will whine about depends entirely upon which application is used with Wine. It may also vary according to where one messed up in installing it. For instance:

user@computer-thing$ wine dax64.exe

wine client error:0: version mismatch 0/386.
Your wineserver binary was not upgraded correctly,
or you have an older one somewhere in your PATH.
Or maybe the wrong wineserver is still running?
user@computer-thing$

Means that the user is an idiot and Wine is simply complaining about itself.

But we want Wine to whine about other things, for there are so very many things for it to whine about. And because it is not actually supposed to whine about itself; there is insuffient material to complain about within itself, a fault that programmers still have not been able to rectify.

No, this is what we want. We can get it by getting wine to quit complaining about itself, though bugger if we know how to do that... wait, of course we know.
Yes, this is it.