Teaching Social Media to Elders

I’ll never forget the day a few years ago that I received a friend request on Facebook from my parent’s friends. Why would I want to connect with a bunch of people in their 60’s? Facebook is a young person’s game!

That was then. This is now. Today, over 700 million people use Facebook. Business, organizations, governments, families, and friends join on social networks to share information. As a pastor, I use social media everyday to connect to congregants and the community.

As a minority in the ministry field, my youth and use of social media is often a source of curiosity in a world of aging churches and aging church people.

This past week at the American Baptist Churches Biennial in San Juan, Puerto Rico. I gave three interactive lectures on social media entitled, “Sink or Swim: Treading the Sea of Social Media”. My goal was to give a practical frame work around how to use social media for churches and organizations. I truly thought that most of the attendees would be young people.

The experience was like my being-friended-by-my-parent’s-friends Facebook shock. The vast majority of attendees were over the age of 50. I found that most of attendees had Facebook or some other social media network account. However, they did not feel like their experience was useful because they believed that Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and other social media networks were too nebulous.

Often, I’m frustrated with elders and their computer use. They want to learn skills, but not concepts. They want to learn how to “do” Facebook or Twitter rather than understanding the social networks. Their learned skills are not effective because they don’t understand what Facebook is for.

I asked the packed room in San Juan to finish this statement: “I have a social media account (Facebook, Twitter, etc…) so that________.”

Silence.

They struggled to put a reason behind their social media use. One person said, “I have a Facebook account….ah…uh…. so that I can have a Facebook account.” I said, “Okay. You see the trouble? Your social media experience would be more fruitful if you had reason for using social media. It will make the difference between updating your status about eating a PB&J sandwich and truly connecting with people.

I recently saw an “elder” post on Facebook that something was needed for the family dog. Instead of asking for the object, this person explained the gross and infectious details of the dog’s condition. TMI!

Using social media is not about doing it like everyone else, but using social media effective for each person. Just because someone has 1,000 friends and someone else has 100 friends, does not mean the 1,000 friend person is doing social media better. It’s about having fun and connecting to people.

Teaching our elders how to use social media is one thing, but teaching them what it is for is another. Young people are not doing a good job of modeling or teaching the purpose of social media. Since social media is/was mainly driven by young people, we have the opportunity to be teachers to our elders.

Great article! And I not only find this with elders, but also young aspiring business people. the fine art of self-marketing. not only to promote the business, but to also promote “who you are intrinsically”. People do business with people they “Like”. And how you “network” and communicate that is key. I am more interested in doing business with people who I can connect to, even without a face. I have many facebook friends who are elders, but we connect through musical taste, compatible taste in art, food, literature, or whatever. We connect in a way that would never be possible without social networking. Our separating boundary would be age/generation and the game would stop there. Good job Alan. I LIKE it

Yeah, I would agree with the last post. In addition, I just think that the over-emphasis on using social media is ridiculous. Senior citizens (and a fair share of the rest of the population) do not need to use social media. What really matters to them and what is best for all of us, is to use good old fashioned ways of communications, not only through calling people, but, actually meeting them in person, in the flesh! Social media only serve to separate people even more than actually brining them really together.

For a minister, you have a rather ageist point of view.
You also seem blinded by social media as the be-all-and-
end-all form of communication. I guess this is a
condition of your limited perspective due to your youth.
If attending to the constant chatter of social media is
your thing, if Tweeting incoherent sound bites is your
cup of tea, if befriending the entire world seems
like intimacy, good luck to you. Texting isn’t a skill
and it isn’t something to crow about!

I hope you saw my bit of self correction in the post. From realizing it was a young person thing to everyone. For someone who wants to pin me into a corner with generalizations, you end up doing the very thing you accuse me of.

I think MD has some good points – although is a touch touchy on the subject of “social media is an ‘age’ thing.”

Having taught essential computer skills to people older than me, ranging from using different programming editors to even basic things like Excel, just as a gentle warning: they get very upset when you correlate a particular tech skill to age.

Don’t do it. If you’re ever tutoring math to a black person, don’t mention the correlation between having difficulty with math and race. Same idea. Both have nothing to do with intelligence, and everything to do with the thoughts and skills rewarded while growing up.

That being said, I have to say that “teaching” social media, and trying to define its purpose… it’s a little like saying “Don’t cook your own dinner – go out to McDonald’s instead. Here’s how…”

I found your post extremely offensive – in your view, I would be an “elder” – I use social media daily in my work and I believe I have am much up on the use of social media as people half my age. Don’t categorize – categorizing a group is ignorance.

Good point. In fact, I know a retiree who are is only on Facebook and uses it constantly, but seems to have internet addiction, based on the crazy emails I get from him. He’s in his sixties.

Look, I’m not going to say Facebook isn’t useful. I didn’t know where to line up for the 4th of July parade this morning, so I posted on a couple of people’s pages, and tracked down who I needed to contact for details.

But that’s my point.

Facebook isn’t real friends or real communication. Just like:

– The movie is not the real book
– What you catch on BBC News isn’t “science” (or, I’m guessing, politics)
– Those little books of Bible blurbs aren’t the real Bible

Facebook are people you are vaugely acquainted with that you can “change the channel on” when you’re not interested in what they have to say.

It’s “friends” for people who utterly lack an attention span and are completely self-centered.

In fact, it was originally designed by isolated self-centered nerds to improve isolated self-centered communication.

(“Hey! I don’t want to leave my dorm room! I can just send you my un-witty witicism from RIGHT HERE in my cozy cave!!!”)

A friend you listen to even when they’re boring. Usually, in my adult experience, over coffee. But you listen, because you are polite, and you hope that they return the favor.

Good point. In fact, I know a retiree who is not only on Facebook and uses it constantly, but also seems to have internet addiction, based on the crazy emails I get from him. He’s in his sixties.

Look, I’m not going to say Facebook isn’t useful. I didn’t know where to line up for the 4th of July parade this morning, so I posted on a couple of people’s pages, and tracked down who I needed to contact for details.

But that’s my point.

Facebook isn’t real friends or real communication. Just like:

– The movie is not the real book
– What you catch on BBC News isn’t “science” (or, I’m guessing, politics)
– Those little books of Bible blurbs aren’t the real Bible

Facebook are people you are vaugely acquainted with that you can “change the channel on” when you’re not interested in what they have to say.

It’s “friends” for people who utterly lack an attention span and are completely self-centered.

In fact, it was originally designed by isolated self-centered nerds to improve isolated self-centered communication.

(“Hey! I don’t want to leave my dorm room! I can just send you my un-witty witicism from RIGHT HERE in my cozy cave!!!”)

A friend you listen to even when they’re boring. Usually, in my adult experience, over coffee. But you listen, because you are polite, and you hope that they return the favor.

Did you change the channel already?

jack

[correction in the first sentence – I deleted a word, and forgot to re-construct the rest of the sentence.]

Does it occur to you that many older people neither have nor want computers? That leaves them in the dark when others rely on computers too much to communicate. Computers have their valid uses, but old fashioned communication methods are still the best.

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