Mind Over Matter… and You

You can do it; it is only mind over matter.” Has anyone ever said that to you? While we are experts at telling people how to run their lives and make decisions, the funny thing is that we rarely apply it to ourselves. What is it that we are so afraid of?

What is it that holds you back from being more successful or accomplished? I am not talking about becoming a millionaire, owning a five star spa, or traveling the world as a top aesthetician. Sure all of those things may be nice, but I am talking about the little things, such as exercising; getting up an hour earlier to have coffee with your partner, share a few kisses, and talk about the day ahead; making your lunch rather than buying; tossing the ball with your child; taking a walk; calling a friend; or simply stopping to smell the roses.

Mind over matter requires thinking about your actions. Do not just muddle through the motions – be an active participant in the outcome! After all, it is your day. Your clients, co-workers and everyone else are simply bonuses. They are there to give you multiple op- portunities to use your mind and choose your outcomes.

Mind over matter requires setting goals. Following through with the goals you set is also an important part. This does not mean that such plans or goals cannot be modified, but it does mean that simply giving up is not an option. These plans or goals can be anything you want them to be; perhaps getting two new customers in your appointment book, selling one product to every client, or even getting grumpy Mrs. Smith to smile before she leaves your spa. It is easier than you think; you just have to do it. Tomorrow is a new beginning and now is the time to let your mind guide you through the day.

Mind over matter requires positive thinking. When you have a positive mindset, positive things come to you. Do you know that one person who, if it were not for bad luck, they would not have any luck at all? What is it that this person spends the majority of time doing? Complaining about their problems; talking about their sheer misfortune; and wal- lowing in their sorrows. Do you have clients, friends or co-workers that never have anything positive to say? Pay attention and see how easily and often you get pulled in and become part of their mindset. Once you recognize it, you can avoid it!

Positive thinking takes work, focus, attention and effort – all things that require dis- cipline of the mind and brain. The average human only uses a small percentage of their brain at a given time. You know the old saying “If you do not use it, you lose it,” well… use it! Your mind is a masterpiece of creativity, suggestions, options and strength. Change a negative to a positive or avoid the situation altogether. Every night at dinner, my family sits down and shares the best part of our day. Why not try this yourself? At the end of each day, write on a piece of paper what the best part of your day was. Better yet, take it to work, ask each client or co-worker what the best part of their day or week has been.

Mind over matter requires creating your own reality. It is easy to get caught up in your own thoughts. What happens when you think your co-worker is talking about you? Your boss is not happy with you? What do you think when a long-time client does not return? Most of the time you assume the worst, since our minds tend to drift to a worst case scenario. Problems may begin to arise because we rarely seek answers. Instead, thoughts consume us and, in our minds, become real. In most instances, these assumptions could not be any further from the truth.

Do not allow your mind to go there. Why would you choose to think the worst? The easy solution is to get the answer. Make a phone call, approach your co-worker, boss or significant other. Spend your time dealing with what is real rather than the unknown. Regardless of how good or bad any situation may be, it is reality. Face it, deal with it, and move on. Free your mind and allow yourself to enjoy the reality of life and the beauty of the moment.

A very dear friend of mine recently shared a story with me. He and his amazing wife were at a certain point in their lives in which their children had grown up and had great success; yet he knew that there was something missing. He asked his wife one question, “Would you give up everything you have for everything you want?”

Think about that question. What does it mean? That ques- tion haunted me for days. Something about it lit a fire within me, yet was very freeing. It simply meant one thing: mind over matter. The physical things that we accumulate mean abso- lutely nothing if our minds are not satisfied with who we are and where we are at in our lives. Mind over matter is power, freedom, contentment and peace. It takes guts and cour- age, but the beauty in it is that it belongs to you. No one can change your mind unless you allow them to.

Many of us are too afraid to let go of all the things we have accumulated in our lives. They tend to be a safety net for us. Why? Because they are safe and easy. Mind over matter is not safe and easy, but I guarantee it will change the rest of your life.

How many inspiring stories have you heard of individuals diagnosed with horrible diseases, given only a short time to live, or told that they would never walk, talk or hear again?

And how many miraculous recoveries have you also heard of? I am thankful that I have never had such an experience, but I can tell you that these amazing individuals never quit; it was never an option. In spite of life-altering odds, they committed to overcome and beat the odds.

The odds, those negative forces in your life causing your mind to stop because of the fear and doubt that encroaches on your psyche, they make you second guess yourself. Ulti- mately, it is all about how you see it. Do you take in the negative or do you turn it into a positive by overcoming the fear and doubt through setting goals, contemplating your actions, and positive thinking? It is all about mind over matter!

Michelle D’Allaird is a New York State licensed aesthetician and Inter- national CIDESCO Diplomat. She is the owner of the Aesthetic Sci- ence Institute aesthetic schools in Syracuse and Latham, N.Y. She is a consultant and educator for international cosmetic companies around the world. D’Allaird is a contributing author to major industry trade magazines, as well as a host and speaker for International Congress of Esthetics & Spa conferences in Miami, Philadelphia, Dallas, and Long Beach. She is also a co-author of Salon Fundamentals aesthetic text- book. Her expertise lies in education and curriculum development for aesthetic, medical and laser courses.