Friday, May 15, 2009

So as the current leader in the club house in “wow they have really let themselves go since playing (insert high school/middle school sport here)” , I felt obligated to give you my All-Metrodome Team. This is a team of guys that when you see them now, it’s a double take and, “No. That really can’t be him? Wow, what the hell happened to him?” Also, this is a fitting list for those who affectionately call each other, “Tons of Fun” “Skiddles”“Fat Boy” “Tubby” “Fat Ass” “Skidder” “Chocolates” “Skippy” “Slim” and any other fat appropriate names. And without any further wastes of key strokes, here’s the All- Oh My God He Got Fat All-Metrodome Team.

Kent Hrbek—1st BaseOk, his rookie stats say that he weighed 200 pounds. Uh huh. Here he looks like John Candy in the Great Outdoors.

Al Newman—2nd BaseI really don’t think the “after” picture gives much justice to just his level of obvious indulgence.

Cristian Guzman—SSI get it, he’s not that fat now, but compared to the awkwardly skinny kid he was when he started with the Twins, yeah, you’re fat.

Scott Leius—3rd Base

And just because: Is that Tom Hunt?

Tim Laudner—CatcherYou doubled in size, screw you, you’re fat too.

Marty Cordova—OF I guess that could have been Widman too?

Matt Lawton—OF Skinny punk to semi-fat? Still has the label fat in it, fat boy.

Mickey Hatcher—OF

Notable omission: Kirby. Yeah, he got fat after the fact, but he’s still Puck and I still like him, too much to put him in here. RIP Puck aka “Fat Little Shit”—Noella Melbye

Juan Berenguer—RPSenior Smoke must have been up to something…something near 350 after he finished. Mexican food is damn good if done right, so I’ll give him that.

Eddie Guardado –RP

Everyday Eddie filled out his uniform more and more as his career continued on…and still does today.