Wednesday, June 9, 2010

HUMP DAY PUMP UP: WE'RE BACK!!!

YEAH WE'RE BACK BRINGIN' YOU THE FRESHEST PUMPS ON THE EARF. FROM THE EARF.

C'MON EVERYBODY, I JUST DROVE LIKE 4000 MILES, LIKE ALMOST 40 HOURS, SAW 4 STATES, AND PARTIED NONSTOP THE ENTIRE TIME IT DOESN'T GET MUCH PUMPIER THAN THAT.

My bowels are movin' just thinking about how PUMPED UP I AM.

Don't believe me? Check out this asshole in a blanket-scarf!

How PUMPED UP do I look!?!?! Bummer there were no pics of me with the blanket on my head, pretending to be a ghost. That's what we need.

Look at the hard-ass sucka mean muggin' behind me. Clearly he hain't been touched by THE PUMP yet. But he will be. Sooner or later we ALL get touched by THE PUMP. One nation, under PUMP.

Driving from Florida to Texas, and then back, we spent a shitload of time in the car, straight PUMPED UP.

We even hit some construction, some detours, some accidents, and some lane closures. But by livin' the PUMPED UP life, and fightin' the good fight, we turned every

into a

So PUMPED.

Yo, I don't have to face the work week anymore, being unemployed and all, but I know some of you out there do. So friends, this PUMP is for you. Yeah, you probably got up early today (that sucks lol), and you probably went into work (haha, sorry), and you probably thought about driving your hybrid (lol, twink) right into oncoming traffic on the way in, but you didn't.

Do you know why you didn't? Because you just stopped at the Chevron, bought a big ass super-gulp size coffee, and you didn't want that $1.49 to be spent in vain. Smart move.

Go ahead, let me be your guiding PUMP. Let this blog bring you to PUMPYtown. You've already made it halfway through the work week, and I haven't gotten up earlier than 12:30 so far. That's pretty awesome.

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where you from, shawtie?

tall man on the loose in tampa area

True story, there is a tall man terrorizing the Tampa area. This weirdo usually hangs out around parks, trying to find pick-up games of basketball - during which, he will grab the ball and maneuver around so that you come into contact with his stinky, naughty bits.

Truly an unpleasant experience.

His signature move is the "bait and switch junk grab". As you're grabbing for the ball, his junk magically appears. In the way of your hand.

Another one of his famous moves is to let the ball go loose, then as you scramble for it, his sweaty ass gets in the way. Of your face.