Thursday, 10 January 2013

Funny Car Crash

The statements below are taken from actual insurance accident claims forms. They are real, true (you can't make up this kind of stuff). Read 'em and laugh and be glad it wasn't you.

Each image in the left column is a small part of an actual accident photo reduced to thumbnail size. Click on one you'd like to see full size or start anywhere and go through the entire group.

Incidents with Pedestrians.
The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him.
The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian.
The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him.
The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again.
I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
I saw her look at me twice. She appeared to be making slow progress when we met on impact.
Accidents with other vehicles.
I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.
My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.
When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.
I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.
The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.
I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner, when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before.
I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries.
The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing.
The car in front of me stopped for a yellow light, so I had no choice but to hit him. (She pushed him through the intesection)
Collisions, calamities, and injuries.
Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.
As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
I saw two kangaroos having it off in the middle of the road. So I hit them, which caused me to ejaculate through the sunroof.
I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when I struck the front end.
I pulled in to the side of the road because there was smoke coming from under the hood. I realized there was a fire in the engine, so I took my dog and smothered it with a blanket.