Confessions Of A Dark Sorceror

I’ll try to stop filling up endless paragraphs with disclaimers from now on. I think I’ve pretty much covered all those bases already, and my
signature block is always there for backup, so let’s get to it…

One of the first things I asked God when I became aware of Him was “Why do I exist?”

The answer He gave me was “To grow, and create yourself.”

This has given me much to ponder, right up to this day. This is my purpose.

I believe this is the purpose of all conscious beings, and that by doing this, we contribute to the complexity and “glory” of God.

Through us, and others, and other processes beyond my comprehension, God continues to grow. We are riding within the explosion of God’s eternal
expansion.

There is no entropy with God, He becomes greater and more complex “with time”, but again, God is not constrained by time, only those conceptual
structures and universes within which time or sequences of events are defined are subject to the limitations of cause and effect.

The reason I keep coming back to the topic of “Outside” is that I have a growing feeling within myself that keeps getting stronger, and has grown
stronger in the few years since I first “truly” talked with God. The feeling is that my ultimate path lies “Outside” this universe, and that it will
take me there “soon”.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think I’m about to physically die right away -- hey, I’m not that old, for crying out loud! So that’s not what this
is about. Although you never know when you might step out in front of that proverbial bus one day -- perhaps while lost in thought about Life, the
Universe and Everything.

But in my meditations and dreams, I keep finding myself, now and then, and more often these days, wandering Outside, into the Realm Between Realms
where there is no cause and effect, and where the only distinction between Chaos and Order lies within the will of the observer.

Don’t misunderstand me, this is a great universe -- truly magnificent, really, and I wish to explore it thoroughly. But I know there is
more, and it intrigues me.

I do not know what this all means, frankly, and thus, in broken record fashion, I once again say that I must meditate on this matter.

I know it is possible to spend a lifetime studying “ufology” or “alienology”, and am under no illusions regarding the volume of data involved.

Nonetheless, both as part of my process of assessing the Society of Light and seeking answers for personal reasons, I think it‘s time I looked into
this.

Until now, I had not confronted God with this question.

In the past, He has shown me that we are most definitely not alone in this universe. Over billions of years, many conscious species have come and
gone, and more are yet to be.

In fact, the universe is practically crawling with sentient life, and even more so with what we might call non-sentient life (although there is a
spiritual “element“ in all life -- and even nonliving matter -- but that‘s another story), but the astronomical distances separating them are vast and
very few ever come to leave their environments, only a minute fraction, in fact.

But I had not asked God if extraterrestrial beings have visited Earth. So I have. The answer is “yes”. And they are here now. As usual, I am reluctant
to ask for details, because at some point, I am sure to devolve into self-delusion (or a greater degree of self-delusion, more accurately).

Also, as anyone here has hopefully already read, I am not a prophet and my discussions with God are admittedly conversations with my own mind.
I can’t take an answer like that at face value. So it’s time to hit the virtual books of the Internet.

The difference between past efforts and the current effort for me is that before, I assumed this was all bunk. I remain skeptical about the
information that is out there, but now I am proceeding from the assumption that extraterrestrial beings are, indeed, visiting Earth.

Call it a hypothesis, because I am open to the idea that all this may indeed not be true. God tells me what I need to hear, not what I want to
hear. Or so I pray.

Perhaps down this road lies madness. But for one who has already walked in madness, such warnings have less impact.

Do Solists consider or allow for the existence of an Outside, or other universes distinct from ours (and not parallel in the sense of being
branched from ours)?

Like you, we consider the Universe to be extremely large, but not infinite, and expanding. We also believe that there is only one Universe in this
timeline.

The definition of "going outside the Universe" needs to be considered. If one were to get in an interstellar spacecraft and go beyond the farthest
galaxy, then yes, it is possible to go outside the Universe. But if one considers one's body and spacecraft to be part of the Universe, then no, one
cannot truly venture Outside. Beyond the parameters of the Universe is simply the void of space.

But I had not asked God if extraterrestrial beings have visited Earth. So I have. The answer is “yes”. And they are here now. As usual, I am
reluctant to ask for details, because at some point, I am sure to devolve into self-delusion (or a greater degree of self-delusion, more accurately).

Also, as anyone here has hopefully already read, I am not a prophet and my discussions with God are admittedly conversations with my own mind. I
can’t take an answer like that at face value. So it’s time to hit the virtual books of the Internet.

You are simply a mystic, i.e., a person who seeks direct revelation from the divine.

The difference between past efforts and the current effort for me is that before, I assumed this was all bunk. I remain skeptical about the
information that is out there, but now I am proceeding from the assumption that extraterrestrial beings are, indeed, visiting Earth.

You're awareness has increased and your ability to handle it has also improved.

...to make this post. Recently, with the help of others I have brought hope back into my life(see the thread about learning psi& things, made by XX
Mouse XX for my story). I have been compelled to do certain things, for no apparent reason, and I feel the answer is here. You can call me a stupid
13-year old if you wish, but I am here to learn.

I feel that I should also learn more about your religion(s), mysticism I believe its called. I dont need a big explanation, a link would suffice, but
I feel that I must learn more one way or another.

Majic, we both inadvertently brought evil upon ourselves, only yours was much stronger and had almost no light in it. Mine was weaker, but of a
similar nature, it fed off me, leaving me believing that what I did was right, even though it was destroying me. Mine left 22 hours ago, yours left 22
years ago, it is odd how often these odd coincidences happen to me, so I am not sure if they are coincidences.

Feel free to call me crazy, I think I very well may be, but I came here by fate, I must not ignore it and leave my destiny in the dark...please
understand.

Originally posted by A Random Person
...to make this post. Recently, with the help of others I have brought hope back into my life(see the thread about learning psi& things, made by XX
Mouse XX for my story). I have been compelled to do certain things, for no apparent reason, and I feel the answer is here. You can call me a stupid
13-year old if you wish, but I am here to learn.

I’m not going to launch into what might “compel you to do certain things”, because that’s a long, long list. However, I would caution you not to
assume that “dark forces” are always the cause. Sometimes we do things impulsively because we are suppressing our feelings. At times, our ability to
do that breaks down and we can do some pretty unexpected things.

That doesn’t mean you’re possessed, just repressed. While I can imagine you rolling your eyes and going “oh great, here we go again” while you read
this, I still have to tell you. Early adolescence is tough for everyone. I remember it well, and never want to have to go through it again! It just
plain sucks!

Your emotions are going to be all over the board, and yes, strange phenomena are especially concentrated around young teenagers, because young
teenagers are absolute dynamos for emotional energy.

The good news is that you can survive, if despair doesn’t drive you to self-destruction. If you have such thoughts, I urge you to hang in there and
tough it out, because life gets so much better! I promise! I am thirty years older than you and my friend, it truly just keeps getting
better!

This is not easy, especially when sitting still can be a major challenge, but I recommend that every chance you get, you take a little time to spend
by yourself, and just think things over. Analyze things. Think about Life, the Universe and Everything. Cut yourself some slack, holmes!

Don’t let other people drive your agenda. Think for yourself. You know what I mean, I can tell!

Pick A Religion, Any Religion!

Originally posted by A Random Person
I feel that I should also learn more about your religion(s), mysticism I believe its called. I dont need a big explanation, a link would suffice, but
I feel that I must learn more one way or another.

Funny you should mention this, because I’m shopping around, myself. At the moment, I suppose my “religion” is the Church of Skepticism. I am
questioning everything, including things I used to assume were true.

Frankly, I am becoming more fond of this “religion” with each passing day. You don ‘t have to agree with what other people say to enjoy their
company.

Remember that what you choose to believe or not believe is your business, not anyone else’s. Though others may try to intimidate you into
agreement, what you think will always be your choice. Remember that!

Parallels In Thought, A Spell Of Cleansing, and Setting Wards On Your Room

Originally posted by A Random Person
Majic, we both inadvertently brought evil upon ourselves, only yours was much stronger and had almost no light in it. Mine was weaker, but of a
similar nature, it fed off me, leaving me believing that what I did was right, even though it was destroying me. Mine left 22 hours ago, yours left 22
years ago, it is odd how often these odd coincidences happen to me, so I am not sure if they are coincidences.

Here’s a simple spell for you, almost exactly the spell I use when I feel “presences” creeping in on me:

“Leave now! No one comes into my mind without my permission. You are not welcome to enter or stay. Leave me now!”

Best to say it out loud in a place where you can be certain no one is listening. If you cannot be alone, then think these thoughts in your mind. If
someone is watching, be cool, you don’t need to act all weird and funky to do magic!

Think about what it is in your mind that you want to leave as you say this. The specific words don’t matter, just the intent (the only “magic” words
are words that are meaningful to you).

Change the words a little each time you say the spell, make them more meaningful to you each time you say them. If a specific bad thing pops into your
mind that you think is in you, add that to the spell, and tell it specifically to be gone!

Don’t feel silly doing this. I swear to you that this is the very nature of true magic. This is exactly what the greatest practitioners do. Focus your
will, and send unwelcome visitors away!

The intent is setting your boundaries. Keep saying it over and over until you’re sure it worked. You’ll be able to tell. You will feel “clean” and
free of fear and nagging doubts.

Always remember, never forget: Your mind is your own, period! It belongs to no one but you! You are in charge!

It really works! I had some of what I call “horrors” bugging me a few days ago. You know the kind: You open the shower curtain and you have a moment
of fear thinking some monster will be in there, or when you look out a window into the dark, etc. All gone now! This is the exact same technique I
used to chase them away.

Tell them all to leave, do not fear! And you know what they really hate? Love! Love them away! They also hate laughter, so laugh a lot,
even if you don’t feel like it. Trust me, it’s golden!

You can also do this in your room, and keep dark things from entering there, too. I call it “setting a ward”. Think of it as “marking your
territory”.

Put your hand on a wall, and assert that no one enters without your permission! Use the same basic formula as the one you use to chase spirits and
dark thoughts out of your mind. While this may not work against your mom, dad, brother or sister, it works quite well against spirits!

Just remember, always act with love, never in anger! Love will deliver you from all evil.

Crazy Like A Fox

Originally posted by A Random Person
Feel free to call me crazy, I think I very well may be, but I came here by fate, I must not ignore it and leave my destiny in the dark...please
understand.

I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that you aren’t crazy. Call me crazy for guessing that, if you will.

As for fate, I like what John Connor said in the Terminator series: “There is no fate but what we make for ourselves.”

If you ever feel like a prisoner of fate, bust loose! Free will is the greatest gift God gave you. It is a powerful tool, and can hurt or heal you.
Respect your power of choice, and never surrender it to anyone!

Having said that, I will agree that some things do seem to happen for reasons we may not be conscious of. And to close this overlong diatribe…

Self-Indulgent Brady-Style Fatherly Comment About Being 13

Biggest problem I had at Age 13: My sense of self-worth revolved around what other kids thought of me. Other kids could devastate me with an unkind
word, gesture or rumor whispered into the ear of a friend. My world revolved around their world.

If there is one thing I wish I knew when I was 13, it is this: That it is not what other people think of me that matters, but what I think of
myself.

That, and be honest. If someone asks you a question you don’t want to give an honest answer to, don’t answer it.

Hang tough in those ways, and you’ll be amazed how much respect that eventually brings to you, both from without, and within.

You belong to yourself, and no one else!

P.S. Word to the wise: Stay away from T.V. They are brainwashing the hell out of you! Find a safe place outside and hang out there, instead. You don’t
need the distractions of others to entertain you, I can tell. Yes, yes I can! Oh, and playing is important, and I don’t just mean computer games. Play
outside! Nag, nag, nag!

Sometimes one is simply guided by Spirit to pursue something. In this young lad's situation, I think that was the case. I don't think he was
possessed or repressed, but guided.

As far as the peer pressure problem of adolescence that many never truly overcome, I don't think that is the case for him either; simply because
very few people at that age (or any age for that matter) have the emotional and intellectual wherewithal to pursue learning an off the beaten path of
mystical studies.

Genius is experience. Child protégés cultivated their gifts from one or more prior lifetimes of experience.

My guess is that the reason why he is pursuing this at the tender age of thirteen is because he already has prior knowledge and experience from his
past in this area of life.

There is a thirteen year old girl that I am working with these days who uses Chakra Radiance. According to TSOL, at thirteen, she is the youngest
person ever to reach the Higher Stages -- beating my record with TSOL in having reached what we term First Stage Mastery at nineteen. Her mother is
also a Solist. TSOL stated that the daughter would have more psychic awareness than the mother. Lo and behold, that is exactly how it turned out to
be. The daughter had a lifetime of service to God, like the mother, but was a little more spiritually advanced when she entered her current life. So
now the daughter is more advanced on the Higher Stages than the mother!

On another issue, the very fact that he is delving into this indicates that he is his own person and does not let the opinion of others dominate his
life or drive his agenda.

I suppose my “religion” is the Church of Skepticism. I am questioning everything, including things I used to assume were true.

I've debated skeptics. You are no Michael Shermer (editor of Skeptic Magazine). *L*

What you are is a cautious mystic that has a gift for eloquence.

Tell them all to leave, do not fear! And you know what they really hate? Love! Love them away! They also hate laughter, so laugh a
lot, even if you don’t feel like it. Trust me, it’s golden!

Just remember, always act with love, never in anger! Love will deliver you from all evil.

Tell them to leave, absolutely. Laugh at them, sure. But I have to agree to disagree with you on the "love them away" technique.

One experience among many that comes to mind is back in the fall of 1980. I woke up in bed and found that what I now term a demonic Group Entity
drilling a hole in my Spirit on the left side of my solar plexus area. I tried the "turn the other cheek and love them away with white light"
approach. Bad idea. I was warned by Spirit that I was only strengthening the opposition and weakening myself.

I then went to George Mason University for class that day and a member of my then psychic group warned me that I had a hole on the left side of my
body. It was only the beginning of a series of major astral attacks which resulted in a serious illness. Much of it felt like electric shocks
directed to all areas of my Spirit in my body. The near fatal illness forced me to drop out of classes for the remainder of the semester. I survived
and the abusive Group Entities retrogressed into oblivion.

A really good approach is to daily and sincerely Radiate a prayer for the following: Guidance/Accuracy, Protection and Healing.

Drawing in energy, what the yogic practitioners call Pranic breathing, is always a good idea for healing as well as for protection. Breathe in slowly
and visualize drawing in spiritual white light with each inhalation.

An extension of this technique is for astral defense: while breathing in spiritual white light, visualize a white and/or gold energy coming down and
surrounding oneself for protection. When the energy is available, this technique is very helpful in shielding oneself against a negative discarnate
influence.

Another simple technique is to draw in energy and visualize pushing the discarnate opposition away.

As for fate, I like what John Connor said in the Terminator series: “There is no fate but what we make for ourselves.”

This morning, as I lay pondering the nature of the universe, thought and the spiritual continuum, an image came to mind.

I was floating in a swimming pool, a giant pool so big no edges could be seen. It simply went off into the distance in all directions. It was that
classic swimming pool blue, but without an annoying amount of chlorine -- just a hint of it.

The temperature was perfect, not too hot, not too cold, just a nice warm perfection. I could not see the bottom of the pool, just that indistinct
light greenish blue one sees at the bottom of any swimming pool. The sky above was blue, with no sun or clouds, just an unremarkable blue sky. Not too
light, not too dark.

With me in the pool were everyone else, all humanity, everyone I had ever known, and never known.

Some people were relaxing, floating on their backs, clearly at ease. Others seemed to have trouble staying afloat, and were in obvious distress. Many
people swam together, linking up in little rings or even in large “floats”, helping each other to keep their heads above water. Some people seemed to
be lifeguards, swimming around and helping others in trouble.

Most floated quietly, but some splashed around, either in play or because they were panicking. Just about everyone was talking, filling the air with
that anonymous conversational chatter like you hear in restaurants or stadiums. It was an odd mixture of peace and commotion.

I felt at ease in the pool, although I remembered having great difficulty treading water in my youth. Somewhere along the line, I had learned to
simply take in some air and let my natural buoyancy keep me at the surface. It was all just a matter of proper breathing.

It was from this relaxed vantage point that I regarded the pool, seemingly floating above it while really floating within it.

I saw myself drifting over to a part of the pool where there was no one else. I was seeking a little quiet time to just float and think, and all that
splashing around by some of the other kids in the pool was distracting me.

As I drifted off on my own, someone called out, “Be careful over there, there’s no lifeguard!”

For a moment, I thought about it. Indeed, if I were to come to some mishap out there, I might drown before someone could reach me. The concept stopped
me for a while, but ultimately, I decided the peace and quiet were worth the risk.

So away I floated, following unseen currents, idly spinning in gentle circles as I slowly drifted away from my fellow swimmers. At some point, without
realizing it at first, I lost sight of everyone else. This alarmed me, but I decided that somehow, if I truly needed to rejoin them, I knew the way
back. So on I drifted.

Time passed, and I was thoroughly enjoying the peace and quiet I had found out on my own. “I could get used to this!” I thought with great
satisfaction. Here at last, I could float in peace, free in my thoughts, no noise, no one splashing me in the face. Here was true bliss!

Then, quite unexpectedly, I bumped up against the edge of the pool. I didn’t even know there was an edge! Did anyone else? I looked around in
surprise. No one had ever told me there was an edge!

I tried looking out over the edge, but could not see anything. It was like the water just stopped there, it didn’t even pour over the side, it just
stopped. I pondered the edge for a very long time, wondering just what could be out there.

I reached out with my hand and felt the edge. Though I couldn’t see the edge itself, it was there, just like in a regular swimming pool, but I still
couldn’t see over the top -- not without lifting myself up and looking from there. I tried it.

I had never used my arms this way before, and I felt muscles I had never used straining to lift me. It was very hard, and took many tries before I
finally got a peek over the top.

There was a flat, plain blue-tinted concrete surface that went off as far as the eye could see. It was just like the surface next to a typical
swimming pool. There was nothing else visible in sight, just an endless plain of light blue concrete. Like the water in the pool, it just seemed to
stretch off forever.

I lay back, floating in the pool, and thinking about this. It was so very confusing. Yet I remained curious about what was outside the pool. It seemed
like I had been floating in the pool forever. I realized, perhaps for the first time in my life, that I felt weary of floating.

So I decided.

Where pulling my head up enough to see over the edge was hard, pulling my whole body out was infinitely harder. All those muscles I had never used
before were screaming with pain, and the water made my body so heavy, it seemed to be trying to pull me back in.

It was a Herculean effort, with me pulling, my muscles snapping with pain, and the water seeming to try to suck me back into the pool.

But finally I got out, and after laying on the edge with exhaustion for what seemed forever, I stood up, and started walking for the first time in my
life. Strangely, it seemed so natural and easy to do so, like I had done it before, a long time ago. I began walking away from the pool, and into the
distance, and the dream ended.

Strangely, it seemed so natural and easy to do so, like I had done it before, a long time ago.

In contrast to the Freudian paradigm, we maintain that all dreams are channeled from Spirit. When someone goes to sleep, one part of their brain does
not turn on to generate dreams. What actually happens is an increased receptivity to telepathic messages. The reason why most dreams are not helpful
or spiritual in nature is simply because most on the Other Side (as on this side) are not spiritually focused.

That was a good dream.

One clear message expressed is that you are relearning some of the higher awareness about ALL THAT IS which you knew in the discarnate dimensions
before you entered your current body -- and experienced what many refer to as "the veil of forgetfulness. "

Originally posted by Paul_Richard
My guess is that the reason why he is pursuing this at the tender age of thirteen is because he already has prior knowledge and experience from his
past in this area of life.

Certainly, being a precocious child is not what it’s cracked up to be!

I remember my childhood well. It was not so much a time of innocence and wonder for me as a time of turbulence, fear and frustration. Due to the
nature of my parents’ work and our life circumstances, we had to move early and often (ahem, “rent-skipping“).

I went to many different public schools in many different states. In fact, on average, I went to more different schools in K-12 than there are years
in the K-12 course, with the longest at any one school being three years in one grade school. Not to complain, really, it kept me on my toes and gave
me a great deal of perspective.

I also know very well what it is like to be subjected to spiritual attack at early ages. There was much that I feared, and the assurances of my
parents that things that I saw were just “my imagination” or “nightmares” were little comfort. Certainly, most of those things were, but not all of
them.

It was at the onset of adolescence that things really got out of hand. When I would lay down to sleep, the “loud silence” would return, and within the
roar of that white noise I could often hear whispering, seemingly angry or strident, but I could never make out the words.

It was also during that time that I had the only out-of-body experiences I can recall to date. They terrified me because they were involuntary. I
could feel the texture of the ceiling as I floated with my “back” against it, looking back at me in my bed.

I remember feeling the textures of wood, fiberglass and asphaltic shingles one time as I went through the roof. And all the while, there was that
“loud silence” as I called it. And I was not alone. And they were not friendly. I know terror well.

It was between the ages of 12 and 17 that the “loud silence” plagued me when I would try to get to sleep, coming almost every night. It was also
during those years, and since I was 5, that I always pulled the covers over my head, breathing only through a small air channel made of sheet, because
of what my brother and I saw in the window one night. But that’s another story.

So perhaps I am projecting more onto ARP than is fair to do. Clearly I have “issues” with my own childhood, and it is probably, therefore, unwise to
think I may be able to offer rational counsel on the matter.

Yes, I think that may very well be so.

Cautious Skepticism

Originally posted by Paul_Richard
I've debated skeptics. You are no Michael Shermer (editor of Skeptic Magazine). *L*

What you are is a cautious mystic that has a gift for eloquence.

There seems to be a fine, blurry line between skepticism and irrational dismissal. I find myself drifting back and forth over it all the time.

When I am reasonably skeptical, it seems wise. When I am unreasonably dismissive, it seems foolish. The hard part is knowing which I am being at the
time.

Caution seems to be essential for mystics, lest they find themselves prisoners of their own delusions. I find myself often wondering if that is not
what I am doing now. Certainly, I know how to do it!

All You Need Is Love?

Originally posted by Paul_Richard
But I have to agree to disagree with you on the "love them away" technique.

I think you may very well be right about this, although I must meditate on it. But my sense is that you are very much correct.

Love is a powerful way to counter fear, and I know that demons seem to hate love, but I see your point that it may not necessarily be poison to all
spirits who would feed off us. I think I may have unknowingly bought into a platitude.

Laughter still seems pretty safe to me, especially hearty laughter. I don’t think I’ll want to give that up, and I find myself laughing all the time
these days. It feels so good!

A thing that comes to mind as I read your anecdotes is that where I am enjoying a time of spiritual theorizing, pondering and navel-gazing, you are
applying spiritual principles in practice.

Thus while I am off constructing my own personal hall of mirrors, you are developing perspectives, concepts and techniques with others that you apply
daily. A profound distinction.

At this time, I feel that my path continues to lead away, off on my own for a while. Perhaps forever. Certainly, I feel stirrings in my soul that seem
to point that way. And remembering -- there are faint but definite stirrings of remembering within me now. I will try to seek and understand them
more.

However one might look upon all this, I daresay that, so far, this process does seem to go a lot farther toward finding oneself than simply
hitchhiking across the country with a guitar on one’s back.

Since the 1980s I have cultivated the Gift of past life awareness. It generally has improved with time. One of the reasons why I pursued an
undergraduate degree in History is so I could more easily reference past life information. As with all Gifts of the Spirit, I cannot turn it on and
off at will. However, it did occur again today.

The mystical inclination, the indepth introspection, the attention to detail, the unique ability to express oneself clearly yet eloquently on the
written page...it all makes sense now.

The Society Of Light informed me today that you are the soul of the French philosopher...

Originally posted by Paul_Richard
One clear message expressed is that you are relearning some of the higher awareness about ALL THAT IS which you knew in the discarnate dimensions
before you entered your current body -- and experienced what many refer to as "the veil of forgetfulness. "

There seems to be something to this. These days, as I lay meditating -- wait, a quick word on that.

How I Meditate

How do I meditate, and what does it mean to me? Unlike the Yoga masters, I can’t get anywhere near the “lotus position” (no way, José!). Instead, I
lie down on my very comfortable bed (it’s one of those air beds with memory foam, I have become quite fond of it) and get as physically relaxed as I
can. Not “straining” to become comfortable, just “letting it all hang out”, allowing all my muscles to relax, and letting gravity melt me into that
comfy bed.

What matters to me -- at least for now -- is not aligning chakras or anything esoteric like that, but simply being as relaxed and undistracted by my
body as I can be. That also means taking care of the usual basics like timing meals properly, staying away from sugar and caffeine (caffeine makes me
kwazy!) and using the restroom before lying down.

I don’t chant mantras or anything formulaic like that. Rather, I just do what I call “guided thought”. In other words, what do I want to think
about?

When I say “I must meditate on this matter,” this is what I am referring to: relaxing and thinking about the topic in question, exploring it in my
relaxed mind, and seeking to do so from a fresh vantage point, letting what I think I know about the topic rest in the background for a while.

It used to be harder to clear my mind of doubts, worries and the cares of the world. Now, thanks largely to setting up an easy lifestyle, it’s not at
all difficult to focus on the stuff I really want to think about. However, having “been here”, I think I will be able to meditate clearly even should
life become hectic again, as I am sure it must inevitably do. I think I have gotten “the knack” of meditation, in other words.

Often a topic will elude me as I think of it. Instead of forcing the issue, I allow it to “settle” in the back of my mind somewhere. In other words, I
accept that I’ll have to get to it later, and not worry about the fact that I don‘t have an instant answer. I think of this as “chewing” on an issue,
and letting my subconscious work on it in the background while I think of other things in the foreground. Mental multitasking, I suppose.

Sometimes, in fact many times, an issue will stay back there for days, or even longer, before the “answer” will sort of pop into my head on its own
(the Moment Of “Ah Ha!”). It is often accompanied by “illustrative imagery” that sort of explains the rationale behind the subconscious conclusion.
It’s quite pleasant when an idea “pops out of the toaster” like that, and it is usually an unexpected surprise (I think the “n-dimensional waveform
nature of matter and energy hypothesis“ popped into my head while I was driving, or something like that).

While these “subconscious decisions” are by no means infallible, I find them overall to be tremendously satisfactory to me, and while my reliance on
them is not one of blind faith, I do place a great deal of trust in what comes tumbling out of the back of my noggin.

The main thing, though, is just quieting my mind enough to examine a single thought without bouncing around into tangents too much.

For me, that’s meditation.

I Can Almost Remember…

During my meditations these days -- which are taking up substantially more of the day than they used to (in fact, my “job” these days seems to pretty
much be meditating, posting to this thread, and fitting in a shower and a couple of meals somewhere during the day) -- I feel these “stirrings” in the
back of my mind, “under” my thoughts. They feel very deep, almost primal.

Impressions that have come to mind as I have pondered these are: self-illusions of deep insight (from the desire to know more), subconscious
awareness, race unconscious awareness, past memories in this life, past memories in other lives, past existences outside what we know as life,
perhaps?

I know that if I wish to truly explore these stirrings, I must not make assumptions about what they may be, but rather explore them with as open a
mind as I can muster.

It’s challenging, because they are very deep, and hard to put a mental finger on. It’s like trying to find that word you want to use in a sentence,
and coming up blank. It’s on the tip of my mental tongue, but the words don’t come out. They are a mystery.

As I like to say: “Mystery is the mundane clothed in the unknown.” As with most of my cherished aphorisms, there are many more meanings to that
sentence than the obvious one. I am finding that true of many of my aphorisms -- I am collecting hundreds of them. Each seems to be a clue about me or
the way I think. Fun hobby.

There are hints about these “deep thoughts”, but they are elusive, and perhaps illusive. There are many other things piled high upon my mental plate
(or do I mean “metal plate” in my skull?), but these mysteries remain in my thoughts.

i most say, hanging up your robes of sorcery is probably the best thing you could ever do, i have yet to do it, maybe because magick is in my blood,
or maybe i am not brave enough (though i dought it) i give you a round of applause on this choice you have made and maybe one day i might be able to.

Originally posted by Paul_Richard
The Society Of Light informed me today that you are the soul of the French philosopher...Jean-Jacques Rousseau

I must say that I laughed loud and long when I read this. Don’t get me wrong, it was laughter born of intrigued amusement, and perhaps something more,
but most assuredly not sarcastic derision.

I am hopeful that we can both agree and assume that sarcasm and derision have no legitimate place in this thread. In fact, I think they have no
legitimate place in our minds either, now that I think of it.

So if I come off at any time as sarcastic or malicious in my humor, it is either an error in my expression or the translation of it by the reader,
which would still, by my thinking, be an error on my part.

The Virtues Of Clean Glassware

My immediate fear is that statements linking me with Rousseau might taint my process of self-discovery, either by planting the idea that I am a
reincarnated Rousseau or have me subconsciously steering away from anything tying me to Rousseau on the assumption that I am responding to a memetic
suggestion.

In exploring my “deep thoughts” I must be very careful not to make assumptions about them, lest I deceive myself into thinking that they are something
they are not. I can say that shaking the package has not, so far, revealed the nature of the contents of these “stirrings”.

I am sure you can appreciate my dilemma in all this.

I must be very cautious that, while working with the test tubes and beakers of my mental laboratory, I diligently maintain a high degree of mental
cleanliness (hmm, sounds like the creed for the Legion of Decency). All the while doing all this without becoming obsessive-compulsive about it and
washing my mental hands overmuch (“Must wash my hands, I’m a dirty boy, must wash my hands, I’m a dirty boy…”).

Hmm, a treatise on the virtues and benefits of Mental Hygiene? Maybe later.

Rousseau I Wonder…

…and find myself faced with two courses of action regarding this Rousseau business.

Of course, by default I will consider the matter from a skeptical viewpoint. I know of Rousseau, but know very little about Rousseau.

So, should I seek to know as little about Rousseau as possible, in hopes that doing so will minimize any mental “taint” associated with him?

Or, should I study Rousseau and see if anything “clicks” into place?

This seems to be the topic for my afternoon’s meditation, a more commonplace event as I do all this thinking (seriously, all this thinking really can
be exhausting, even if it’s a hoot).

Don’t misunderstand my alarm about lab equipment, by the way, I would not wish to discourage you (or anyone else) from being absolutely candid about
your opinions and perceptions. I most strenuously do not wish to poison a discussion such as this!

This no doubt seems like an absurd non sequitur in light of where this thread is, but an anecdote popped into my mind as I was laying down to meditate
on this Rousseau business and refused to leave until I wrote it down.

It is with a great deal of ambivalence that I post it now, but it does feel sort of good to get it off my chest, even if it’s not exactly a grand tale
of arcane wisdom on my part. Caveat reador, I suppose.

I like to take short walks behind my house, which was specifically chosen because of all the public land that lies behind it. It is my custom when
walking in the wilderness to carry some sort of firearm, and I like to “plink“ at random targets if the mood hits me.

On this particular day some months ago, I was carrying a .22 rifle with a nicely-sighted scope.

The walk was pleasant. It was morning and the air smelled cool and crisp. Very energizing.

As I walked into the hills on a jeep trail, I was startled by a dove that came flapping wildly out of a clump of sagebrush next to the road, missing
me by just a few feet as it flitted by my head.

But there was something wrong. It landed maybe fifty feet up the road, with its right wing extended, and it hopped around, apparently in pain. It was
up the road, in the direction I was walking.

As I continued walking, it would continue fluttering up the road, apparently trying to avoid me, but only with considerable pain. It was painful just
to watch the bird as it hopped on the ground with that wing sticking out and making loud squeaks that seemed to convey pain from the injury. It
troubled me to see such suffering.

So I shot the dove and killed it.

It felt terrible, and I felt bad about it, but I reassured myself that as unpleasant as the deed was, I had helped end the suffering of a poor,
tormented animal, who would have otherwise died a slow, agonizing death instead of the swift mercy a bullet had brought.

Shades of “Old Yeller” came to mind, and some sort of code of mercy to animals. It was a noble deed, if distasteful.

Feeling bad, but like I had “done my good deed for the day,” I continued up the trail.

Sometime later, as I came back down the trail, I was startled again by two young doves that came flapping out of the very same clump of
sagebrush. At that moment, the bottom dropped out of my stomach as I realized what had happened.

Though I had not made the connection before, it was now obvious that the dove I had shot had been faking a broken wing, to lure me away from
its nest where these two juveniles had remained quietly. I had killed their perfectly healthy mother.

Thinking I had done something noble, I had, in fact, done something terrible, leaving these two young birds to fend for themselves, motherless.
Ironically, the mother dove’s deception was all too perfect. In combination with my “compassion”, disastrously so.

As the pieces fell into place and I realized what I had done, tears came to my eyes as the compound evil of my deeds on that supposedly relaxing
little walk became more obvious. I had been deceived! I felt betrayed, like fate was cruelly laughing at me.

The two young birds had flown far off, out of sight, and what could I have done to help them anyway? There was nothing more to do but wipe my eyes,
walk home, and consider that day’s unexpected lesson.

For me, the strongest analogy that day was that of the effects of power combined with ignorance -- and the arrogance of “playing God“. But I am sure
others can find many different meanings in this story, which, even in such somber cases as this, I always wish to encourage.

Last night before i shut down my computer i cleared out all temp files there was a total of 666.

As i lay down to sleep i feel a bad presence creeping towards me. I turn my head and tell it to leave i push it away with my inner power that seems to
come from my gut and abdominal region i tell it, i am loved, i feel the presence of my good spirits, i fall to sleep.

Kodes strange dream.

"We are going to see the field of creatures"
"Ok"
I look into the field and see about 20 to 30 of the most hideous looking monsters you can imagine all staring back at me. They start moving towards me
and i draw on my power to repel them, it works. They retreat with a protest of screams and moans and the showing of teeth.

"We are going to join them in the field, but we must camouflage ourselves"
"Ok" [what am i thinking]

We enter a strange place like a stable but with medical machines and silver coffins there are assistants who help us climb in to be transformed. The
coffins open and we emerge as hoofed beings covered in brown hair with horns [classic Satan portray] we parade in our new state and then commence
towards the field and my dream fades out.

Then today i read the exchange between Majic, PR and ARP.

Strange coincidance or what?

Im not sure if its more likely to do with this whole thread talking of group entity’s and bad spirits a kind of hysteria. Although i know my mind well
and have seen enough to know the difference between my mind playing tricks and what i believe in spirits. I pondered the idea of thought projection
through the computer with the assistance of remote viewing by focusing on a subject, i just wondered upon it.

I am starting to think dark of you Majic, with your talk of love and then "don’t believe in all i say". After all you have been into sorcery. Though
i mean not to demonise you i am just being cautious. It could have had something to do with PR. I have such an open mind, and arm my self well from
intrusion.

Originally posted by Majic
I am really enjoying your contributions and am finding myself “stealing” many concepts from The Society of Light (TSOL) for my own nefarious
purposes.

Originally posted by Paul_Richard
I constantly suffer from discarnate demonic attack. Millions of people on the Other Side are very opposed to what I am doing and persecute me for it.
In various degrees of intensity,

Originally posted by Paul_Richard
This intellectual discourse is not really hard to understand, just hard to emotionally accept.

Emotionally im fine. I have problems with words. I have no qualifications, just a comprehensive schooling. Still, i don’t do to bad. I needed the
dictionary for this thread on more than one occasion and have learnt some interesting words. Your right when you say majic writes with eloquence, his
command of the English language is admirable.

Originally posted by Raphael_UO
Be careful when building upon your beliefs, lest you build something that is not on this foundation and it drags your entire structure down during a
storm.

This is the structure i build my beliefs on, the best of, and all that make sense to my heart, of all beliefs.

Note: The heart of all beliefs.

Originally posted by Majic
The Truth Is Out There.

I believe it is, but you have to remain open minded, and able to look at the big picture as well as the small.

Originally posted by Majic
semantics (which are the bane of all spiritual discussions).

So many different beliefs describing the same things in different words "ideas that parallel other metaphysical schools of thought"...PR. In my eyes
they all, i feel, undeniably describe the same thing, its just a matter of whom to believe. And after last nights dream [TSOL] maybe mmmm. I’ll have
to have a closer look.

Originally posted by bhagavadgita
Hindus look upon life on Earth as an opportunity for learning. We reincarnate from time to time to gather experience and learn, and when we're done
learning we merge with God again. But that itself doesn't mean we stay with God for eternity, because eventually we desire our individuality again.
It's a cycle that never ends.

I wonder, however, if it may not be possible to have a good sense of self-esteem and still be humble? Perhaps by being secure in one’s self without
placing one’s will above those of others?"

I think it can. For some reason i am not suprised a Hindu had joined this thread, glad your here.

Originally posted by Paul_Richard
Once I took the test over at Belief.net to determine which religion I was closest to in beliefs. The answer was Hinduism...

Thought i might give it a go.

Originally posted by Majic
the English language is just about useless in trying to convey what I mean by all this.

True, there are languages spoken on this earth far better to describe the universe around us so i heard, wish i knew them.

Just as a btw to my dream. This evening i went to the shops and felt uneasiness in the air. Walking down the road i notice a drunk, he sees me and
then try’s to enter a door that is not there, on a wall. On leaving the shop i had gone to, he was there again, this time he sat down and with his
fingertips tried to lift a tile that was cemented into the pavement. All this was watched by me and an old looking rather large black raven that sat
above us both on a rooftop, that i just so happened to notice. Odd, this has been odd. This entire thread has been odd. But cool. It very much
captured my attention.

Magic, I would offer you some comfort reguarding the dove. I hope by making an effort to make you feel better I will not be 'undoing' or
'lessening' the lesson. (No pun intended) Perhaps the sole purpose of that dove's existence was to show you something.
You say 'your' God speaks to you in your voice ( or was that the other guy-this thread is getting too convoluted for me!)? When I read your
post, I had almost had goose bumps! I think the 'Voice of God' --and not necessarily the strickly Biblical meaning of that-- speaks in odd ways.
Signs and symbolic gestures not discounted.

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