Have Really Strong Feelings for Old Friend?

Recently, I have developed VERY strong feelings for a girl I know. We have known each other for about a year, and at first, we were just friends. But recently, I have been spending a ton of time with her, and I really, really like her.

We are in the same "group" at my college, and we spend a lot of time together with mutual friends. I don't think anyone else knows I like her, as I am really, really bad at showing interest.

I know she has no romantic feelings for me. I thought I had a chance, but she was really depressed the past two days, and I could see that she does not need me as a source of comfort, even though I tried. She treats me like a friend, and really makes no special effort to be with me (i. e. she never initiates), and she would rather be with her girlfriends (ironically, she never had a BF before).

What can I do, outside of just asking her out (which I really don't want to do right at the moment, considering the bad signs and our social status now)? Thanks so much in advance.

What Girls Said 1

She currently has no romantic feelings towards you because you are in the friend zone. You need to start flirting with her a little bit so that she starts thinking of you in a different light.

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Asker

I know this probably sounds stupid, but I don't really know how to flirt, and articles online don't seem to help. I have tried to come in REALLY close when working with her (bumping into her hair, leaning arm to arm, touching her hand, etc.), I compliment her when she does something good, etc. What more can I do?

I dunno... It's kind of easier for a girl. I naturally flirt when I really like someone by running my hands through my hair, while smiling and fluttering my eyelashes a bit and looking down towards the ground a bit... but I don't know how a guy should do it... Maybe the same way without looking at the ground but instead looking differently at her?

Haha, it is easier for you girls (jk ;))! She has been really depressed the past two days, and has not been too receptive to me. But, normally, she does make great eye contact, smiles, and seems interested. Maybe my conversations are not connecting with her - she sort of teased me for texting her about food all the time (she seemed to enjoy it though with long replies, lols, and hahas, though). Any tips? Thanks!

She obviously has something big bothering her. Just keep being available for her to talk to.

Like, seriously, I'm terrible at flirting. I've only ever done it by complete accident with the guy I REALLY like - and I didn't realise until I saw his face that he knew I liked him, then it struck me that I had accidentally flirted with him!

Lol, that is funny! Glad it worked out for you :). Actually, even when our teacher teased her today, she said she had a lot of stuff on her shoulders. I accidentally acted like a fool in front of her too (playing catch with friend while she was studying, I accidentally hit her computer with a ball), so maybe I framed myself as a fool too. Lol, who knows. I think I'll just keep spending time with her and see what happens, and try to ask her about her interests. What do you think?

Yes, I told her I'm sorry RIGHT after it happened (and also after my friend knocked over he water... we were really intense...). She did not seem to mind, and she made a joke about it. I'll have to see if I can get her alone (which is hard, as every time I ask her, she already has plans... bad sign...) so we can get some good conversation together.

I hope everything works out for you! I'm really new to dating (never had a gf, I'm 20), so I'm inexperienced. Good luck, I'm sure you are a really great girl!