Nobody knows how to flirt! - Atheist Nexus2015-03-31T22:50:52Zhttp://www.atheistnexus.org/forum/topics/nobody-knows-how-to-flirt?groupUrl=atheistsingles&xg_source=activity&groupId=2182797%3AGroup%3A128219&id=2182797%3ATopic%3A400362&feed=yes&xn_auth=noAs long as you can get a feel…tag:www.atheistnexus.org,2010-07-11:2182797:Comment:9032912010-07-11T00:13:17.229ZJared Lardohttp://www.atheistnexus.org/profile/JaredLardo
As long as you can get a feel for how you'll likely come across to others, you actually can go up to random strangers in public. Although random places like grocery stores and bookstores aren't the stereotypical places to find mates, they may well be better, since people don't tend to play gamey roles as often in such places; of course, the role-fitting needed to initiate interaction will be different in a bookstore etc. from a bar etc.<br />
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I suppose that you could mention the exchanges you've had…
As long as you can get a feel for how you'll likely come across to others, you actually can go up to random strangers in public. Although random places like grocery stores and bookstores aren't the stereotypical places to find mates, they may well be better, since people don't tend to play gamey roles as often in such places; of course, the role-fitting needed to initiate interaction will be different in a bookstore etc. from a bar etc.<br />
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I suppose that you could mention the exchanges you've had through this site as an event in your life, since people tend to converse about events, as your awkward wedge to bring it up. I Usually I don't go to bars…tag:www.atheistnexus.org,2010-06-30:2182797:Comment:8864592010-06-30T00:54:42.565ZMichael Piankohttp://www.atheistnexus.org/profile/mierko
I Usually I don't go to bars because I don't drink, and I haven't found any events or places in the Columbus, OH area to go to where I might meet other women close enough to my age where I can talk to them- you cannot just talk to random strangers you see in public. When I do try to talk to women in public I worry about who else around me is hearing me and whether I am being a darn fool. My natural behavior is that I am normally not social and I don't even have platonic friends I see…
I Usually I don't go to bars because I don't drink, and I haven't found any events or places in the Columbus, OH area to go to where I might meet other women close enough to my age where I can talk to them- you cannot just talk to random strangers you see in public. When I do try to talk to women in public I worry about who else around me is hearing me and whether I am being a darn fool. My natural behavior is that I am normally not social and I don't even have platonic friends I see regularly.<br />
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There has to be something different from a girl I meet who is close to my age and my mother or aunt. It is quite important to get something more than platonic friendship and be accepted by a girl close to my age, and there are probably somewhere between several hundred and several thousand or more women in existence who could suffice. But in order to show that she actually likes or accepts me, we have to have sex, not necessarily immediately, but sometime, and if she cannot do it I will probably be disappointed and take it personally and think the relationship is over. I don't really want to start something with a girl who will only do it after we are married and then find out that she does it too infrequently.<br />
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So I will have to somehow mention sex at some point after I meet a girl, or somehow weave it into a conversation while acting like it is the most normal thing to mention. What?
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What?<br />
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Sex isn't magic. If you find a women who thinks it is, then the great amount of tension that you seem to me to have within yourself about your virginity will, combined with her mindset, at least make it too awkward to bring up sex. You can actually bring that up in your first, third, or whatever/whichever conversation, paragraph, or whatever so that it's out there and a potential topic of discussion and thought, and I recommend doing so as it is…
What?<br />
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Sex isn't magic. If you find a women who thinks it is, then the great amount of tension that you seem to me to have within yourself about your virginity will, combined with her mindset, at least make it too awkward to bring up sex. You can actually bring that up in your first, third, or whatever/whichever conversation, paragraph, or whatever so that it's out there and a potential topic of discussion and thought, and I recommend doing so as it is clearly of great import to you.<br />
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--*click* *whir* *buzz*--<br />
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I'm pretty sure that "my" "flirting" is not the same as seduction in any way that could leave seduction with any of its original definition.<br />
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Reading the sort-of-story in your long question, I've got a lot of things to say in response:<br />
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If your "natural" comes across as "unnatural" to others, then either, 1. change your "natural", or 2. stick completely with your "natural". I'm pretty sure that this is effectively an either/or choice where choosing a grey area leads to significantly higher failure rates.<br />
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If you are uncomfortable around women, you must become comfortable. Well, you <i>should</i>, that is. There's no rational reason because of which to be consistently uncomfortable around women, and with greater comfort come less need to <i>pretend</i> to not be uncomfortable, less effort spent on that, and more effort available to put into actually interacting and such.<br />
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If you have trouble with your voice intonation, then work on it.<br />
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If you have trouble with X, then work on it.<br />
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One thing at a time. It is clear that you have a lot of doubt about a lot of variables. Please start working on at least one of them and get a good data set and sense of normal for it.<br />
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Okay, I'm finished. I don't know what to make of…tag:www.atheistnexus.org,2010-06-28:2182797:Comment:8828072010-06-28T00:53:45.648ZMichael Piankohttp://www.atheistnexus.org/profile/mierko
I don't know what to make of your attitude toward flirting, and is this the same as seducing women? What if I just tried to talk to a women in an approximately natural way or pretend I am completely comfortable, possibly trying to follow what I read in a book I have about how to seduce women, and then at the end of our second date or activity or meeting, I would somehow, in the right intonation, mention that I have never hooked up with a women before, and ask her about doing the honors or…
I don't know what to make of your attitude toward flirting, and is this the same as seducing women? What if I just tried to talk to a women in an approximately natural way or pretend I am completely comfortable, possibly trying to follow what I read in a book I have about how to seduce women, and then at the end of our second date or activity or meeting, I would somehow, in the right intonation, mention that I have never hooked up with a women before, and ask her about doing the honors or however I should mention sex, and mention that I live alone and it would not be a problem for us to come to my apartment and as necessary, using the style I got from a few books about being persuasive and assertive, mention how important this is (so that I will like her or accept her as more than a platonic friend because if she can't do it soon than she might or might not remain a platonic friend while at the same time I am doing everything possible to find someone else who can, in fact, do it).? There has appeared to me to b…tag:www.atheistnexus.org,2010-06-27:2182797:Comment:8826042010-06-27T21:51:52.547ZJared Lardohttp://www.atheistnexus.org/profile/JaredLardo
There has appeared to me to be a certain unspoken opinion among much of the public that the sole, or sole viable, way to go with some person from being strangers to having sex is via a certain kind of interaction that feels very unnatural to me. Beyond my immediate, emotional reaction to instances of this style of interaction that I mentioned, I have repeatedly reasoned that this particular style (which I find nearly impossible to describe) cannot be useful for the majority of the interactions…
There has appeared to me to be a certain unspoken opinion among much of the public that the sole, or sole viable, way to go with some person from being strangers to having sex is via a certain kind of interaction that feels very unnatural to me. Beyond my immediate, emotional reaction to instances of this style of interaction that I mentioned, I have repeatedly reasoned that this particular style (which I find nearly impossible to describe) cannot be useful for the majority of the interactions in which people will engage even in their free time. The slight but characteristic guilt-giving, manipulative element of this sort of sleazy, so-called "flirting" that is rather well-known due to how infinitely abnormal and thus obvious it is could not possibly last as the main fabric of interactions in friendships and the like over large numbers and varieties of friendships and their ilk. (Relationships, including friendships, of manipulation and control do exist, but, as I have observed that people react to news of instances of such relationships as shocking, I judge that they are very atypical.)<br />
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I find that greasy "flirting" to be alarming, disturbing, and less effective than that which I would prefer to become the norm of flirting and which I have previously referred to simply as flirting in the hopes of getting the ball rolling.<br />
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I hope I've already rendered an adequate response. In case your actual questions were actually meant just as the questions that they are, I respond to those next:<br />
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"<i>Can you talk naturally and seduce women?</i>"<br />
Probably; but honestly I neither know nor particularly care.<br />
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"<i>Why do you think the talking will be un-natural?</i>"<br />
See the last non-parenthetical sentence of the big paragraph above. Can you talk naturally and se…tag:www.atheistnexus.org,2010-06-27:2182797:Comment:8825642010-06-27T21:13:17.182ZMichael Piankohttp://www.atheistnexus.org/profile/mierko
Can you talk naturally and seduce women? Why do you think the talking will be un-natural?
Can you talk naturally and seduce women? Why do you think the talking will be un-natural? Talking unnaturally and simpl…tag:www.atheistnexus.org,2010-06-27:2182797:Comment:8824752010-06-27T19:54:33.052ZJared Lardohttp://www.atheistnexus.org/profile/JaredLardo
Talking unnaturally and simply trying to seduce others is the kind of so-called "flirting" I meant to defame.
Talking unnaturally and simply trying to seduce others is the kind of so-called "flirting" I meant to defame. Flirting is retarded. I read…tag:www.atheistnexus.org,2010-06-27:2182797:Comment:8815402010-06-27T03:52:50.992ZMichael Piankohttp://www.atheistnexus.org/profile/mierko
Flirting is retarded. I read a book about how to seduce women and I was not able to actually do anything it said. People should just talk naturally, give out their contact information and then continue to talk or meet and see each other until a guy and girl realize their interactions constitute a relationship.
Flirting is retarded. I read a book about how to seduce women and I was not able to actually do anything it said. People should just talk naturally, give out their contact information and then continue to talk or meet and see each other until a guy and girl realize their interactions constitute a relationship. LOLtag:www.atheistnexus.org,2010-03-19:2182797:Comment:7648062010-03-19T23:09:36.364Zcoyotehttp://www.atheistnexus.org/profile/CaseyCHaldeman
LOL
LOL Are you referring to moi? =)tag:www.atheistnexus.org,2010-03-19:2182797:Comment:7645032010-03-19T18:23:31.252ZBlack Magick Womanhttp://www.atheistnexus.org/profile/blackmagickwoman
Are you referring to moi? =)
Are you referring to moi? =)