Let Divorcee-to-be Pick Her Own Friends

January 20, 1993|By Ann Landers.

Dear Ann Landers: My parents, who have been married for 31 years, are getting a divorce. Although my sisters and I are grown, this is extremely upsetting to us.

To make matters worse, my mother is now seeing my father's best friend, "Mr. E," who divorced his wife two years ago. They had been my parents' best friends for 25 years. Our families have always been close.

My father and Mrs. E know about this relationship. It is very disturbing to them both. Mr. E's daughter has called me twice to say she is now certain that her father is serious about my mother.

Mother insists that she and Mr. E are just friends, though she admitted that they have gone on weekend trips together to visit his relatives. She has hinted that the relationship may "go somewhere" down the road.

She is aware of how everyone feels about this and has gone for counseling. The counselor told her she is lucky to have found someone "safe" at her age (she's 51) since AIDS and heaven knows what else is out there.

What do you think, Ann? This is tearing us up.

Miserable in Chicago

Dear Mizz: I suggest that you paste yourselves together and accept your mother's relationship, whatever it is.

As a divorced woman, your mother is free to go with any unmarried man of her choice. If, as she says, the relationship does indeed "go somewhere" down the road, wish her well.

Son has long hair; so what?

Dear Ann Landers: I sympathize with the mother of "Ava," the 22-year-old girl who had let her fingernails grow to about 6 inches in length. She complained that Ava looked like a freak and that the upkeep on those nails was astronomical.

My son is 18 years old and plays guitar with a rock band. His hair is almost to the middle of his back. He hasn't had a haircut since he was 14. He's a good kid, lives at home, pays room and board and washes his hair four times a week.

His father hates the kid's hair so much that he went to a counselor to discuss it. The counselor said, "Keep quiet. It's not important." What do you say, Ann?

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