Junior High Braces, Adult Style

I never had braces when I was younger. Not that I didn’t need them, I just never got them. Once I was an adult, I tossed around the idea of getting braces but never talked to an orthodontist. After all, I’m 30-something and who really wants to relive junior high or high school?

Then a few weeks ago, Jonathan casually mentioned that a co-worker got braces (thus there being no shame in adulthood braces) and that if I still wanted to finally talk to an orthodontist, he’d support me in getting them. I straight up told him he was cray-cray, that I’d never get braces and how dare he even imply that my crooked teeth were less than perfect. I may or may not have looked like the crazy cat lady on 30 Rock. But whatevs. Jonathan’s use to me going all nutso on him. I ended our talk with a maniacal laughter-cry. And Jonathan assumed the subject was done.

That was until I emailed him an hour later to inform him I had an appointment with an orthodontist the following day. If you’re wondering, Jonathan was totally unfazed by this aburpt change in attitude. Not only is he well equipped to handle my nutso-ness, he’s quite use to me having horribly negative effects to seemingly simple suggestions. (Don’t you just wish you lived with me?)

I went for my initial consult to learn about different braces (traditional, clear and Invisalign). I got some really terrifyingly close fabulously close pictures taken of my teeth and mouth, along with a breakdown of the process, and a visit with my doctor. Side note – I’m not a fan of doctors in general. As normal people they are all wonderful. But as health care professionals I make it a rule to avoid seeing them. I’ve only had one doctor in my entire life that I don’t cringe at being inside their office. After I met my orthodontist, I now have two doctors I don’t cringe at being inside their office.

Jonathan and I discussed the options and decided to move forward with the Invisalign braces. In case you are unfamiliar with Invisalign braces, they are clear trays you wear over your teeth that act a like plastic straight jacket. Think of a hug that hurts.

I got my first round of trays yesterday. Based on my research and prepping from the orthodontist, I was expecting them to be extremely painful and to sound like Donald Duck for a day or two. Neither of these side effects happened. Only one of them am I disappointed about.

Now fully into day two of wearing the liners, I’ve discovered a whole new level of self control. I’ve brushed and flossed my teeth about three times so far. And I’ve managed to pass on both a cupcake (with cream cheese frosting no less!) and a chocolate-mint granola bar. Not because I’ve actually mastered self control when it comes to sweets, but because these liners are kind of a pain in the butt to remove (and you have to brush every.single.time you reinsert them) and frankly nothing right now is worth the hassle. Though, to be honest, last night having chips and salsa with a beer after the kids were in bed was totally worth the hassle (and lest you judge, my doctor recommended a glass of alcohol to help ease any pain, I was merely following her rule.)

My mouth still feels pretty weird and I’m battling some awesome dry lips, but I’ve been reassured these side effects will pass with time. But, if you know this to be different, just let me bask in my Invisalign ignorance.

And just think, in 2 years I’ll have straight teeth and ridiculously meticulous dental hygiene habits without ever being called “metal mouth”. Score!