Fulfillment Is A Right, Not A Luxury

The discovery of Why taught me a valuable lesson: fulfillment, that sense of prolonged happiness in our lives, is not a luxury. In fact it is our right.

I am undertaking a little project to write a manifesto - a statement of belief - to help capture this movement that we are a part of. To put into words the world we imagine and a roadmap to get there.

I sat down with some of the folks on my team, people devoted to this cause, to tell them what I'm up to and what I'm thinking. We recorded the conversation and will share it with all those who want to listen.

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First, I have recently been introduced to your site and have really enjoyed it. But, a question I have for this particular topic is, how does this change when you introduce mothers wanting children to be fulfilled at the cost of their own? Thanks for the chance to discuss.

Simon I absolutely love your TED talk on moving people to action, and share it with anyone I know who wants to lead. So first off, thank you.

Second, the word 'manifesto' made me think of this - http://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0031/5352/files/The-Holstee-Manifesto.jpg?1295573284 - obviously quite different from what you'll be going for but thought you might like it.

This belief speaks to a very exclusive population that has reached a certain level of affluence to cover all basic needs. When issues like starvation, poverty, disease, and violence come into the picture, personal fulfillment takes a back seat to the need to survive. So, while this belief may have grounding in the corporate world and can be the key to fostering happiness for more people in the developed world, making this belief as a blanket statement alienates more than half of the world's population that lives on less than a few dollars a day. What you speak to is truly inspiring, but it sounds like more of a choice, not an entitlement.

I very much agree with you Simon. I believe that we all need to recognize we have this right, and demand it for ourselves. We need to share our locus of control with others and help them recognize they need it too.

I believe that would be the significant piece I'm picking up from Simon's present, that we work towards satisfaction by finding and characterizing our WHY, and filling it with things that fulfill the cravings of our WHY, such as putting water in a can. We all have a power to spotting our "can" and the power to the water to fill it, but is our particular capability to do so.

You might find that you can relate Viktor Frankl's work very strongly. He's a psychiatrist that survived the nazi concentration camps during WWII.

He shared the similar idea that in order to endure anything or live life with a sense of fulfillment, you must find the WHY. He goes into detail on how he developed this idea in his book "Man's Search for Meaning," a short read that goes a long way to vouch for your idea.

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It all boils down to one's belief system about the biggest "why"....Why are we here? what are we doing here? What's the point? Not what we give lip service to, but what we really believe at our core. (This includes what we believe we DESERVE.)
If you believe that we're here to work hard and make money, that's what you'll do. If you believe we're here to enjoy ourselves and have fun, that's what you'll do. If you believe we're here to be authentic, whatever that is, that's what you'll do. Like when Joseph Campbell observes the kid who doesn't want to eat his dinner and whose parents declare, "We're not here to do what we want!" There's a lot of enculteration that has to be shifted in order to move into a wide-spread belief system which honors personal satisfaction as a valid "why."

Fulfillment or Satisfaction is not a right, it is a gift. Unfortunately the great majority are a walking contradiction of the purpose and "why" they are alive. There is only 1 "why" and we didn't determine it.

@Justin I think we agree more than we disagree, but let me see if I understand you: I think you mean that people are driven by a need to fulfill their self-interests, or to be fulfilled.

I don't dispute that at all -- in fact, I understand that is a major focus in people's lives. But what I was trying to do was give a suggestion for how to go about fulfilling that, and stating that if you simply demand as a group self-fulfillment, that can cause problems -- my comment about showing up to take.

The reason why I used the word "right" instead of "desire" is because I believe it very much is a right - something you can choose to do or not to do. I don't mean that everyone will always exercise that right by giving -- sometimes, I think people exercise their right to give by NOT giving -- but by calling it a right, that gives people ownership and responsibility over what they're giving... and this means that there is a better chance for better relationships, because then one has the opportunity to consider all people in a relationship, including themselves. I think understanding that is integral to fulfilling one's own self-interests.

I'd like to contend with your idea that people have the right, or even the desire, to fulfill people around them. I am a firm believer that people are driven purely by self-interest. And I think that self-interest is at the center of Simon's Golden Circle - our WHY.

Fulfilling your own WHY is what we exist for; what will make us self-actualized. The things that happen along the way of fulfilling our own WHY may or may not have a ripple effect on changing/inspiring/fulfilling others. Simon's WHY does. Another's WHY may not.

I think that's the important nugget I'm picking up from Simon's post, that we work towards fulfillment by discovering and defining our WHY, and filling it with things that satisfy the cravings of our WHY, like adding water to a bucket. We all have a right to finding our "bucket" and the right to the water to fill it, but is our own responsibility to do so.

@Simon - your vision for changing the world by helping people uncover their driving force is something that resonates deeply with my WHY. The WHY First perspective has served as an incredibly valuable filter for processing the world's information for me in my personal and professional life.

Thanks for making your commitment to sharing this a priority in your life.

There are several ideas that came from viewing this and connecting other things I have heard you say before.

It is very easy, when writing things like manifestos, to demand something -- and I am first of all concerned by that word -- manifesto. Especially if you couple that with the idea that we should demand fulfillment. I think that by demanding that we have the right to be fulfilled, people who follow the manifesto you come up with will forget to "show up to give". I think that it is to easy, if one adopts a belief that says "I have the right to be fulfilled", to create a culture of people who show up to take.

So... I think that, if you were going to put anything into words, it would be important to remember that part of the belief of this movement you are talking about is not that people have the right to BE fulfilled but the right TO fulfill (or, inspire) the people around us (and that fulfills us).

What I'm talking about.. it's kind of like when you're playing pool and you aim for one ball to hit another into the hole -- the one you're really aiming for, right? The language doesn't change anything about what you believe... but by shifting the focus to stating that we have the right to fulfill the people around us, then you keep that original goal of inspiring the people around us to inspire others, and create better, fulfilled relationships between people at work. You get the right ball into the hole.

... I believe that I have the right to fulfill the people around me, anyway.