I had a school psychologist say to me, "Don't you think if you told so-and-so that the things he says hurts your feelings, he'd stop?" No, I don't think that, because hurting my feelings is exactly his intention, you ignorant quack.

[snark]My bully stopped bullying me after I told him how much his words hurt me...
as I kept him in a choke hold until he turned purple.[/snark]

I DID get detention for that, and did not get suspension only because I was an A student.

That's one reason why Pearl Jam's song 'Jeremy' really resonated with me during my teenage years.

That worked for me once as well. I don't recall if I got him to purple while my hand was clamped across his windpipe and jugulars squeezing as hard as I could, even while he punched my face as hard as he could until a teacher broke up our altercation.

But sometime after that the Junior High class was standing in line for some purpose and this other kid started giving me a hassle, but it ended quickly when a friend of his told him I was not a safe target for such treatment.

Unfortunately we moved during that school year and I had an entire new school with an entire new collection of bullies, which was a recurring issue for me growing up.

Bonus: they sent me to the psychologist because I'd finally snapped and gotten physical with one of my bullies. Specifically, I pounded on the back of his shoulders with the ends of my fists (picture a kid in a stereotypical tantrum, pounding on the floor). I doubt it even caused him pain, and he certainly was in no danger of injury. I'm sure he was scared, but only because he'd assumed that he didn't have to treat me like a human or expect me to react like one. But I was the one that needed therapy.

My bully was a known trouble maker, so when my parents were called and told who it was, they asked what was being done to prevent him from provoking me so I did not end up getting into more trouble than the detention. As a bonus, the sight of me so berserk that I didn't feel him punching me in the kidney while I choked him also convinced his cronies to keep their distance.

My bully was a known trouble maker, so when my parents were called and told who it was, they asked what was being done to prevent him from provoking me so I did not end up getting into more trouble than the detention.

You’re lucky. My son’s school allows self defense but not retaliation, which basically means you can block someone’s hit but you can’t strike back. Kids who do get suspended, even if they’ve been provoked for months.

I understand the gist, but if you aren’t going to protect a child, don’t ask them not to protect themselves.

My school had a zero tolerance policy when it came to fighting. If someone came after you and you fought back, you'd both be punished. Granted my bullies were girls, who were generally content with psychological tactics, but even as a kid, I realized how messed up that was. Basically if somebody attacked me, according to school policy, I'm supposed to just stand there and get beat up. Say what you will about police brutality and other issues related to law enforcement, but they at least recognize that a person has a right to self-defense.

I got in one fight when I was in jr high, and like pretty much else's schools, mine had a zero tolerance policy. Because I kicked the other kid in the stomach (knocking the wind out of him and ending the fight) after being repeatedly punched in the face, I got suspended. I flat out asked the principal what I was supposed to have done instead, since I broke contact as quickly as I could and got a teacher. He refused to give me a straight answer.

That’s one of the many things that irritates me about the “Just stand up to them!” BS. First of all, we’re not living in Back to the Future. Many schools have zero tolerance policies against fighting. Like all zero tolerance policies, they suck, but the biggest, most obvious flaw is that even if the bullying victim wins the fight, it’s still affirming the bully’s worldview of “Might Makes Right.”

It was wrong for the bully to pick on them, but only because they could fight back, meaning that it would be perfectly okay for the bully to continually beat up some undersized nerd, who is too uncoordinated to fight back. A bullying victim has a right to self-defense if needed, but let’s not pretend that beating up the bully is the be-all, end-all solution to the problem.