Thursday, February 3, 2011

Bullies Don't Like To Be Challenged

Bullies and Self Esteem - They Actually Have Too Much

Do you remember coming home and telling your mom about the bully on the playground who took your lunch money and made you feel bad? Chances are, your mom told you that bullies have low self esteem, and they pick on other people so that they can feel better about themselves.

It may have made sense at the time, but, when it comes to bullies and self esteem, your mom was wrong.
In fact, psychological experts have changed their opinions on bullying. Instead of believing the theory that your mom told you, now, they say bullies actually have too much confidence. Their problem isn't low self esteem; it's actually dangerously high self esteem.

Now you're probably thinking, 'isn't having lots of confidence a good thing?'

Yes, in the right context, having confidence is great. However, bullies have so much confidence that they think they are better than everyone else. They think that they can do or say anything - no matter how horrible - and it is perfectly acceptable. If they torment you relentlessly, pick fights with you, or try to make you feel bad at school or work, they believe they have a right to do so. They don't see anything wrong with such horrible behaviors.

How do bullies and self esteem affect everyone else?

Unfortunately, bullies' abnormally high confidence can lead to very low self esteem in the people they target. Think about it - if you are constantly being told that you're not good enough, or if someone is constantly making fun of you, you may start to believe that there really is something wrong with you. Being bullied plays a huge role in developing low self esteem.

How can you stop bullying?

Because they are so full of themselves, bullies do not like to be challenged. That's why bullies tend to target people who have low self esteem, because they do not want anyone to fight back. If you want to stop bullying, you have to develop confidence in yourself. If a bully sees that you are not an easy target, he will likely move on to someone who is.

If you have enough confidence in yourself, you are not going to take what a bully says or does seriously - no matter how outrageous his behaviors might be. By speaking to a bully with authority, having the confidence to make eye contact with him, having the courage to just walk away from him, and refusing to take his bait, a bully can see that his behaviors are not bothering you.