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11 March 2015

How to deal with loneliness.

Have you ever felt like you were separated from reality? Or separated from people - material things, possessions of the world. The outside. Have you felt as though you were trapped behind walls and no matter how hard you kicked, punched or screamed, you couldn't knock them down and no one would could hear you. You were unheard within yourself.

You felt alone. Abandoned in your time of need. Maybe you're feeling these things right now. Whatever the case, here are four steps you can take in dealing with the lonely isolation you feel.

1. Loneliness is a feeling...

Not a fact. You are feeling this isolation not because you truly are alone, but because something - a memory, perhaps - has triggered this response within you. Our brains are designed to notice feelings of pain, especially feelings that scare you. That's why loneliness is so prominent - it's very easy to notice.

As you try to make sense of your feelings, you may ask yourself, "Why am I feeling this? Is it because I'm not loved? Because I'm a loser?" Your theories can become confused with facts, making your problem seem bigger than it truly is. Realize that you are feeling alone, and then learn to accept that without over-analyzing or overreacting.

2. Reach out.

When I feel lonely or unloved, I react by drawing within myself. I hide. I mope. And it doesn't help my situation at all. So I encourage you to reach out. Express your feelings, treat yourself to something good. Taking a nice long bath works well for me, especially if I'm starting to feel stressed or pent up. Find what works for you. It may be going out with friends, talking to your parents or reading a good book. Whatever it is, do it. Take that step toward emotional recovery.

3. Notice your thoughts.

Inner dialogue is something that plays a huge role in your emotional level. What you're thinking is essentially what you say. The small, personally hurtful comments can pile up and weigh down your self-esteem until you're sitting in bed crying about being alone and unloved forever. So make sure to deal with those inner critics and downing thoughts.

4. Find people who can relate.

The world is a big place. Odds are someone out there has felt the same way you do. Go search for them. Seek them out and make connections. BUT be careful when conducting this point. Surfing the web for someone whom you can cling to and throw your problems at isn't the greatest idea. Try searching in the relationships you have now before branching out. If you don't find someone, don't get discouraged. They're out there. You just have to look in the right places.