President Bush Plans Mega Movie Of His Life, After Second Term Ends

Voted worst President ever by political pundits and seventy percent of America, Mr. Bush, 'Commander in Chief' number 43, wants to be remembered for his cojones (balls), sensitivity, numerous accomplishments, and hard work. "Now, I'll get the chance and to finally 'get in the face'" of what he calls American ingrates (sound a bit like Der Führer?).

And, what better way to be remembered than a silver screen bio?

Our Chief War Monger said, as he put 'His Pet Goat' back into a bookcase, "They thew shit at me for 8 years, come January, 2009. SOBs and that New York Times liberal Commie rag will hear from Georgie Boy. Georgie will tell 'em like it was. That 'JFK' flick will be a zero compared to my courage. And, 'The Passion of the Christ,' by that Tinsel Town Gibson shrimp...he can't even shoot film!"

While secretly learning the skills of his 'adversaries of Hollywod' in Der Cheney Bunker, Mr. Bush is writing the screenplay, casting the actors, planning to direct, and to produce his epic using his own funds. Learning about this bound-to-be fiasco, Mel Gibson was heard muttering to himself, "Shit damn, I make a great flick about real Biblical truth, and along comes President Idiot trying to film his way into history. Gimmee a break!"

Mr. Bush will play himself, justifying the choice by claiming he plays with himself every day, already. During an interview re his "Baby," he said, "You know, we live in dangerous times and I need some kind of catharsis after one of the 3 Stooges takes office," clearly referring to McCain, Obama, and Hillary.

And, our humble Commander in Chief feels he does not deserve an Academy Award for best actor in a leading role, and he may just let an LA 'geek' (his term) do the leading man's role. His short list includes Costner, Hoffman, Crowe, Nicholson, Harrelson, Gere, the younger Douglas, Sandler, Woody Allen, Depp, Pee Wee Herman, and a few others. Cameo appearances by a Nixon look-alike, Daddy Bush, and Billie Boy (aka Bubba) will be written into the script.

The Bush women, Laura, Jenna, and Barbara will play themselves. As Georgie Boy says, "Yes, you should see each Bush to know what I'm talkin' about. The 3 women will be real: horny Laura and loose, drunk, and horny college coeds, Jenna and Barbara."

Filming will begin in January, 2010 at Universal Studios with a complete mock-up of the interior and exterior of the White House. Georgie will finance the film at a cost of $150 million.

Make Natowsky's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

More fake news stories

The former corpse and monarch is set to involve himself in the 21st Century by joining various social media.
The king was resurrected by royalist necromancers in 2012 but has maintained a low profile since his return to life.
Richard III was ki...

London- Britney Spears traveled to Britain to address the House of Commons to complain about the structure of the British government.
Spears complains that England is not a true democracy but a false democracy.
"After reading excerpt from Aris...

The Dalai Lama may be a man of few possessions™, but he's hoping to get the better of Anglican Archbishop Justin Welby in a very material manner; while also sticking up for the faithful (at least, the right kind of faithful, anyway).
Attendi...

Windsor Castle The Royal Family are having a battle royal since discovering Prince Henry gave Prince Charles some marijuana.
"If you thought he was boring before, you should here him now. If he gets started on the philosophy of gardening, he can g...

Homeless people in the the UK are turning to Sikh immigrants for help because Sikh people always offer their food to those who are downtrodden, out of luck, Untouchable and general cast outs.
It is in the Sikh tradition to help down and outs and...

A scandalous leaked document from the Vatican highlights an utterly disgraceful and absolutely unbelievable lapse of judgment on the part of top Church authorities, which will almost certainly make the Church's reputation plummet to unprecedented dep...

Cornflakes, Frosties and Co-co Pops have all indicated they will take industrial action at the beginning of the week after it was revealed that a former serial killer who ate his victims, has been made CEO of Kellogs.
Many other breakfast staples...

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock informed us this morning that he had a great idea for a story last night, then promptly forgot what it was and spent the remainder of yesterday evening repeatedly punching himself in the face until bed time.
"I was wa...