Helpful Web site for single mothers

January 09, 2007|NICOLE WHITE McClatchy Newspapers

MIAMI The single mothers who visit the Web site singlemamahood.com share some pretty telling details about their lives: losing a job and scrambling to pay the rent and support two children; struggling to be cordial to an ex's new girlfriend; trying to cope during the holiday season when children must split their time between two "happy" homes. Founder Kelly Williams says she created the site two months ago as a way to deliver blunt, yet non-condescending answers to the single mothers, and in particular women of color who often feel they have no one to turn to navigate the difficult world of being a single parent. Broke and need to pay the rent? Set aside your pride and throw a rent party, she says on her Web site. Her advice in a nutshell: "Call it what it is -- a rent party. Your kids need that roof over their heads." Williams, a former Tampa TV reporter who now lives in Chicago, says mothers from around the country have tapped her for advice. Her Web site joins other more established sites, such as singlemotherresources.com and singlemothers.org that cater to the needs of single moms. Williams herself responds to every query or plea for advice on her site. And black women, more than any other race, rear their children alone nationwide. For some, the Internet has become a critical source of support, especially when there is little contact or input from a child's father. Sheila McCray says the Internet became her lifeline after her divorce. A single mother of two teenagers, she uses the Internet to search parenting sites for advice, to find a magnet school program for her son, to map out directions to save time shuttling her children to various appointments and to surf the Web for deep discounts from retailers to stretch her budget. "The term Google is part of my vocabulary. For a lot of us single moms, the other person has become the computer," says McCray, a Miami Gardens, Fla., resident. It's also become the swiftest way to share critical information, such as the outbreak of the E.coli virus in packaged spinach, she said. "Moms are really good about getting that stuff around. Single or not we all want our children to be safe and healthy." Getting advice and other services online has also helped diminish the stigma attached to being a single mom, says McCray and others because it's hard to be judged from behind the walls of a computer. "You'll be amazed at how many people write you off because you are a single mom, no matter how you ended being a single mother -- very few of us wake up and say, 'OK, I think I'll do this myself,' " she said. That is the goal of her Web site, says Williams, a single mother of a college sophomore: to give mothers a place where they are comfortable among other women who have the same angst and uncertainties as they do. The former reporter and book author says the site is her small contribution to filling a gaping need among the community of single mothers. "This is not about therapy. This is everyday parenting stuff," Williams said. "I'm here to help them before things fall apart or so they won't fall apart," she added.