Disclaimer: So if I said that Mulder and Scully were mine that
would mean you would have to sue me, right Mr. Carter? Of
course that would mean I would get a chance to see you
and possibly meet you. And if you sued me you won't get
anything, b/c I have nothing of value. So all that would happen
was I would meet a famous TV producer
and possibly get an autograph. I could live with that. (No,
they ain't mine. Dang!)
Rating: G
Gossamer: Short story, humor, X-File
Summary: Mulder and Scully investigate a High school pepband.
Spoilers: None.
Author's Notes: These events are inspired by actual
happenings in my school. "We're in the Band." has been
used, but not abused by the members of said organization.
Please note that names have been changed to protect the
not-so-innocent. :) Oh, by the way. Mulder is a little off character
at the end of this one. Don't worry, he'll be returned in
*relatively* normal condition just a bit uh...yeah, nevermind.
******************************************************************************
The Band
By: Happy
Skapshem High Football field
8:00pm
"Mulder, why are we going to a high school football game?" asked
Scully as their rented Ford Taurus was directed where to park.
"You don't think that the stuff that passes for food here is
extra-terrestrial in origin do you?" she asked dryly.
"No, but it's a possibility." said Mulder as he eased the car to a
stop and
put it into "park". He put the hood on his coat up. "I've gotten
some suspicious reports of student activity around here
and thought it would be a good idea for us to check it out."
"In this weather?!" asked Scully as she watched the rain come
down in sheets.
"Welcome to Seattle." said Mulder as he got out.
******************************************************************************
15 minutes later....
"So what exactly are we looking for." asked Scully as they sat
in the wet metal bleachers overlooking the football field.
"According to my source," said Mulder "A code, password if you
will, has been discovered that gives students power to do what
they want. Without the faculty being able to do anything about it."
"You mean "Sue them!" ?" asked Scully raising an eyebrow.
"Worse." said Mulder.
The crowed went crazy as a touchdown plus the extra point was
made bringing the score even at 14-14.
"I don't think I've ever seen this many people at a football game."
commented Scully as she observed the overflowing stands
on both sides of the field. "The other team packed their side
too."
"It's a pretty important game." said Mulder "Everyone is vying
for playoff positions."
The buzzer rang announcing half-time.
"There they are!" said Mulder nodding to the marching band
as they lined up at the end of the field on the track.
"Mulder look!" said Scully. He turned in time to see a news
helicopter descend on the field. A reporter jumped out with a
garbage bag full of something and was immediately mobbed
by the cheerleaders.
"Lucky guy." commented Mulder.
Seeing this the pilot took off leaving the reporter.
"Well you know what they say about the Spartans." said Scully
referring to the school's mascot. "Whatever you do, don't let
them give you to the women."
Mulder photographic memory clicked in and he winced.
The reporter and the cheerleaders began throwing white objects
into the crowd, but Mulder was not paying attention. He was
watching the band as it marched around to the other side to line
up at the 50.
The flag team was in place as the band marched onto the field.
The performance was very good. Mulder even recognized a
couple of the songs. He heard Scully's sharp
intake of breath as two of the moves brought the flags
within centimeters of striking the assorted
band members. The band members didn't even flinch, and the flag team went through the whole thing like they could do it in their sleep. There was a lot of trust out there. They then watched as they marched off of the field and back towards the school.
Following at a distance Mulder and Scully watched the band
walk to the front doors of the school next to a crowd of people
waiting to get in. The band members and flag team walked in
leaving the masses outside in the rain. Mulder looked at Scully.
"They have to get in and dry their instruments." she said "Nothing
strange there."
He nodded but didn't comment.
A few minutes later the band came back out. Most were in
street clothes, but a few were still in uniform. They headed
towards the stadium passing Mulder and Scully. Most of them
were joking around and didn't notice the two Agents, but a
couple looked at the Agents with suspicious eyes.
As they all reached the stadium, Mulder saw the gate keeper
move to collect payment before letting them enter, then one of
the kids said
"We're in the band."
The gatekeeper immediately moved to the side and let them pass.
"Privileges of being part of the band." said Scully
"Yes, but how far does it go?" asked Mulder
"How far could it go?" asked Scully "There are only so many
things that can be tied to the band..."
"Unless you have a really good imagination." said Mulder
"What are you getting at Mulder?" asked Scully
"You'll see," he said turning towards the car. "Now let's go
get something to eat. I'm starved."
******************************************************************************
Skapshem High School
Next morning at 8:30
Passing time
"Sign here," said the secretary at the office as she issued Mulder
and Scully guest passes. Mulder took the clip board and signed
it.
"Do you know what period the concert band is?" he half yelled
to be heard over the din of students as they lingered in the
hall to talk to their friends and groupies before the bell rang.
"I'm sorry," said the secretary in a maddeningly soft voice which
was almost impossible to hear. "You just missed them, it's a
first period class."
The bell sounded, one of those electronic ones, and the students
performed one of the best disappearing tricks Scully had ever
seen. Within ten seconds she and Mulder were the only ones
standing outside the office in the suddenly silent school. Mulder
turned and began to walk off towards the "Art" wing of the
school where the band room was located.
"At least we can talk to the teacher." he said. Suddenly they both
heard voices. A large group, or class, of kids came walking
down the hall. Out of nowhere the Hall Moniter appeared.
"Where's your passes?" the man asked darkly
One of the students, a girl with brown hair, looked him straight
in the eye and said.
"We're in the band."
He glowered at them.
"Talk to our drum major," she said "Her watch was off, it's not our
fault we were still out on the field when the bell rang."
"Get going." said the Hall Moniter, and promptly disappeared
again.
Mulder looked at Scully.
"We may have more than one X-File here." he said
"It's a valid excuse." she replied ignoring the comment and the
fact that a man had just disapeared.
Three of the kids gave them strange looks as they passed by,
including the girl. This may have been the upper part of town,
but it wasn't everyday someone walked in wearing Armani.
Mulder and Scully walked to the band room. They got in just as
the teacher was packing up.
"Excuse me. Mr...Pine." said Mulder reading the name plate.
"I'm Agent Mulder and this is my partner Agent Scully. We're
from the FBI and we'd like to ask you a few questions."
"About?" asked Mr. Pine. Clearly he had places to be and was
hoping it would be quick.
"Mr. Pine, are you aware of the free rein which is given to the
students in your band?" asked Mulder.
While Mulder was talking Scully took a quick minute to
circumspectly look around the office. A poster of Dr. Evil was
behind the door, a poster of the fight between Darth Maul,
Obi-wan, and Qui-Gon was above the window and the desk was a
mess with papers and scores.
"In reference to?" asked Mr. Pine
"The lack of hall passes, free access to the school football
games..." Mulder waited.
"Since when are those federal crimes?" asked Mr. Pine confused.
"Lately it has come to the attention of the government that school no longer offers a place of learning where everyone is ignored equally, since then we have been taking measures to reduce that feeling." said Mulder.
"I don't see what you are getting at." said Mr. Pine
"Schools have now been federally charged to keep
a tighter leash on their students. Hall passes are required, and
everyone must pay to see the football games. No exceptions,
no favorites." said Mulder sounding like the big book of
regulations.
"What did you do?" inquired Mr. Pine probably wondering how
this nut had been allowed in his office. There was no rule
like that! Besides, what could an FBI Agent have done to
be demoted to the task of Hall Moniter for local schools?
"Excuse me Sir?" asked Scully.
"I was just curious what you two did wrong that they would stick
you with such an assignment." Mr. Pine was clearly
calling this meeting to an end.
With the tables now turned Mulder realized that they weren't
going to get anymore information from Mr. Pine so he said,
"Thank you for your time Mr. Pine. We'll call if we have any more
questions."
They left.
******************************************************************************
Taco Time
12:33pm
"Mulder I can't believe what you said to him!" said Scully as she
took a bite of her all natural beef burrito.
"What?" asked Mulder "It was all true!" He placed some hot sauce
on his bean burrito.
"Yeah," said Scully swallowing quickly "but who do you honestly
think is going to follow these new rules? This is one of those
cases where the power to make a rule, outweighs the power to
enforce the rule."
"True as that may be," said Mulder looking around at the not
so hidden glances in their direction. "But it is our patriotic duty to
try!"
Scully took a drink of her soda to avoid smiling. She could
always tell when Mulder thought a rule was worthless.
******************************************************************************
Skapshem High
1:15pm
Mulder and Scully flashed their visitors pass and the secretary
gave them a sheet of paper with a bunch of names and room
numbers.
"Here's the list of the kids who are getting out of class
today." he said handing it over to Scully.
She glanced at it. It was only about 15 people, but still...
"Why are they getting out?" she asked
"There's a pep assembly and they're going to march up and
down the halls to disturb the classes before it begins."
said Mulder.
"That's nothing new Mulder, my school did that." she said
"You never told me you were in band." he said as they tried
to find their way to the 200's section.
"I was only in it for a year." she said
"What did you play?"
"Clarinet."
Mulder made a non-committal sound.
"Here we are. Room 217."
The agents looked inside. The class was taking a test. Suddenly
a girl stood up, walking to the front of the room she laid her
paper face down on the teachers desk. She then spoke a few
words to him before walking back to her desk to gather up her
things. Mulder was surprised to note that it was the girl from
earlier that day. Then she opened the door quietly and
exited the room. She walked passed the agents swiftly giving
them both a quick and curious glance.
Scully glanced down at the paper.
"Angie?" she called after the retreating band member. The girl
stopped in mid-stride and turned around slowly.
"Yes?" there was a trace of suspicion in her voice
"We're Agents Scully and Mulder of the FBI, we'd like to ask
you a few questions." said Scully walking up to where Angie
stood.
"Sure," said Angie "but can we walk and talk? I don't want to
be late."
"What instrument do you play Angie?" asked Mulder falling
into step with the two women.
"Trumpet." came the brisk reply.
"Angie how long have you been with the band here at
Skapshem?" asked Scully
"Two years." said Angie as she led them through the confusing halls without apparent thought.
"So you're a sophomore," said Mulder
"Junior actually."
"How is the band here?" asked Scully "Are you guys very good?"
"I'd like to think so." said Angie as they came to the commons.
"Do you guys always get into the football games free?" asked
Mulder
"The ones we play at, yeah." said Angie "And basketball."
"And do you normally get out of class early?" asked Scully
"Only if there's an assembly and we're supposed to play.
The few that get picked to walk the halls get out, other than
that you have to stay in class."
"What about coming late to class?"
"That doesn't happen often, but when it does the teacher's let
you in. They know the work we have to put in to get the field
shows looking good." Angie stopped in front of the door
leading to the band room and looked at them.
"Go ahead," said Mulder "We'll wait out here."
******************************************************************************
Two Minutes later
A group of kids came out laughing and joking. Someone held
the door while the percussion members tried to squeeze
through with their big base drums. Mulder and Scully followed
behind the group till they came back out into the commons. The
drum major called attention and they quieted down.
"Okay, we can't leave until 1:30," she said "What song do we
want to start with?"
There was a quick increase of volume as each person tried
to make their choice heard.
"We have to give 'em the Funk!" said a saxophone player.
"Okay "Tear the Roof Off" first" said the major
" 'Gimmie some Lovin'!!!" called one of the trumpets.
" 'Gimmie' second."
"Evil Ways!" yelled one of the percussion.
There was a little bit of grumbling, but everyone was caught
up in the excitement and no one opposed it.
"Okay!" called the Drum Major bringing silence back
to the hyper band "Here's what we are going to do! The order
is "Tear the Roof Off", "Gimmie", "Evil Ways", "Victors" and
we'll end with our school song..." A big groan broke her off
here. She waited till they had vent their frustrations before
continuing.
"We'll start down stairs outside a freshman room, anyone
know of one?"
"I know one!" declared a tuba player.
"Okay, let's go people and NO PLAYING!"
Mulder and Scully watched the band walk not so quietly down
the stairs and to the unsuspecting freshmeat class.
"So," said Mulder "What did you think of them Scully?"
"They displayed the characteristic exuberance of a high
school pepband." she said.
"Mmhmm." said Mulder "Well, let's go find our seats."
"Seats?"
"You don't think we'd come all this way and miss the band
at the pep assembly did you?" he asked
"I would hardly count those butt bruising bleachers as seats
Mulder." said Scully
"Oh, stop! My virgin ears!" joked Mulder.
They headed for the gym.
*****************************************************************************
Seven Minutes later
The band had shaken the school from one end to the other and
now the whole student body was streaming in and cramming
into the gym bleachers. Mulder and Scully, deciding to forgo
the hard plastic benches, stood by the senior's section which
had a special end for the pep band roped off. The noise
level rose steadily and the possibility for a normal conversation
quickly ceased to exist, so the agents just watched quietly as the
band filed into their respective seats. What surprised Mulder was
that they all sat in sections. Trumpets with trumpets, saxophones
with saxophones and so forth. Scully, having been in band,
was not surprised in the least.
After introductions of the football team's players the captain took
the mike.
"We visited our rivals today," he said "And brought back one
of them to talk to us."
Slowly a pinyata of a football player was lowered by a pulley the
rope tied about it's neck. Grabbing a traffic cone one of the
players rushed it and with one swing hacked it's body off.
"What? No candy?" said Mulder in a stage whisper to Scully.
"Okay guys, now we're going to play a game!" said one of the
announcers.
Five minutes later four people were covered in green jello, but
Barbie had been rescued and put back together. Mulder
heard the band members grumbling to themselves. Time
was running out and they hadn't been asked to play.
"Okay! So come to the game tonight cause it's gonna be
awesome!" screamed the rallier into the mike. "YEAH GOSKAPSHEM!"
The students let out a mighty cheer and poured from the
bleachers and out the doors. As the band was leaving
Mulder saw Angie walking with a trumpet and a tuba player.
"I can't believe we were pre-empted for Barbie bearing
green jello!" she said only partly joking.
"That is so evil! I mean, GREEN JELLO?!" said the trumpet player.
The tuba player just shook his head in disgust.
"At least it wasn't glowing." he said.
******************************************************************************
Skapshem Football Field
7:00pm
The stands were empty save for the few people who came in
early to get a good seat. The two football teams were warming up
on the field as Mulder and Scully walked up.
"So now what?" asked Scully as she and Mulder surveyed the
field.
"Now we wait," he said turning towards the gate were people
were beginning to line up for tickets.
*****************************************************************************
One hour later...
As the band walked up to the gate Mulder was ready.
"I don't want you to let these people through until they've
paid!" he told the ticket man pulling out his hand gun and
pointing it at the hapless man for effect.
"We're the band." said the drum major stepping forward and
giving him the evil eye.
"Well, um..." said the ticket man as he tried to decide which was
scarier. The Federal Agent with the fully loaded Sig Sauer or the
entire marching band with instruments. "School policy states
that..." he began, but an alarming *click* from Mulder's
gun caused him to fall silent.
"They will pay..." said Mulder his voice dropping dangerously
low. Meanwhile Scully had walked off to a secluded spot and
proceeded to dial 911 on her cell phone.
"We, are in the band." repeat the drummajor now looking at
Mulder. Then the rest of them joined in "We, are in the band...We,
are in the band..."
Mulder was confused. What was it he was supposed to do?
Ah, yes. Let them pass of course! They were in the band.
"Hurry," he said moving aside with a gallant flourish. "You're
going to be late."
Each of the band members smiled at Mulder as they passed
making him feel over ten feet tall! He sauntered over to Scully
who was trying to convince the operator that there was going
to be casualties any second, she stopped short when she saw
Mulder standing before her in one piece. "Nevermind." she said
into the phone and hung up.
"Mission accomplished Scully!" said Mulder enthusiastically.
"MULDER!" yelled Scully
Mulder jumped.
"What?!" he asked in bewilderment.
"You're okay!" Scully was astonished.
Mulder didn't know what to make of her statement. So he did the
thing he always did when Scully said something he didn't
understand.
"Uh, huh." he said, then changed the subject "Scully we did it!"
he yelled "And for sticking with me on this I am going to buy
you dinner!"
Confused as all heck, but not about to pass up a free dinner
Scully said
"That we did Mulder."
"You bet!" said Mulder leading them to the car. His head was held
high and he walked with the air of the captain of a championship
team.
As they pulled out of the parking lot Mulder heard a faint melody
drift over the field to his ears. It was strange, not like the normal
pepband pieces. It sounded a lot like the theme from "The
Twilight Zone(tm)" but that was as close as he could get it....
"Doo, de, do, de, di, dooooo..."
THE END