Ponding with Tom

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Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Ok, so it's springtime, and your pond looks like this cause of leaves decomposing and general grime. Don't worry, in this post I'm going to show you how to clean your pond. Koi pond, keywords, Fernando Torres nude.

The first step, is to take your fish out. If you don't have a bowl, put them in a jug or whatever you have around. These little tykes survived the winter.

Next, take out your pump, and add dishsoap. Everything will get nice and sudsy and clean in there.

You dumdum! The fish died while you were doing that because you had them in a jug instead of a tank. Flush them.

Boom, your pond is clean now and you should go to your local pond clinic store and buy two water hyacynths and one water lilly at least. They are good for the water and bacteria.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Lyndsay Beneteau and Tom Reiber - both of whom write memoirs - find their lives intertwined. Though seperated by time and space, both women are at loose ends... until they discover that with the right combination of passion, fearlessnessness and olive oil, anything is possible.

So, my name is Tom, and I have decided to write a blog in which I cook everything on Lyndsay's blog. It's a wonderful blog full of delicious recipes for you and your families, and with Holly needing a boost, and loving food, the idea hit me that this would be the perfect way to make her happy, have fun, and make a lot of great food.

Let me start of by saying that I have very limited cooking experience, or had. I was mainly a barbecue specialist, and a meat guy. At my parents I wouldn't cook at all, my mom did that stuff. She never asked for help, and if she did we knew that it was a joke.

In the apartment, and the early months in the house, I learnt how to make spaghetti, taco's, cook chicken and use it for indian food (mix it with a store bought sauce and rice), and the rest was pretty well barbecue. Not too exciting for my princess who needs a new meal every night.

I've tried online recipes, and recipe books, but the foods turned out like shit. The ingredients couldn't be found, or they wouldn't rise, or they were too complex, surely someone out there could help.

Along came my Julia.

Here is my first attempt, and success with Coconut Shrimp. I doubled, and maybe tripled the recipe to cook a whole bag. I'm always thinking about lunch the next day. I hate spending money on lunch. I'm a jew at heart. Here's the comment I left Lyndz.

Bing bam, boom, out of the park.

Note, if you make a whole bag of shrimp like me, you will end up with your coco being a paste at the end. This is okay, just put the paste on the platter and it will taste the same, although you will be docked major points for presentation.

One thing to stress is to not get sweetened coconut stuff, it's ok Turkish, I'm sweet enough.

This next one, I think I made the next night, Holly also made a beautiful fruit salad with a recipe I can acquire for you if you want it. It's called a Jerk Chicken. You make the sauce, rub it on (with a brush), then cook. The comment I left:

Ok, we ate this last night. Once again I am a cooking hero. It was easy, quick and delicious.

I ran into a problem with my blender creating smoke and then the smoke burning my eyes. I think it had green onion something rather in it. My eyes got healed up and this really grilled up nice even from a frozen state.

Thanks again!

This one, was a real fish out of water story for me. Like a what the fuck am I doing here kind of thing. I can't believe I made this, but I'm very glad I did. Potato and Leek soup. We made sandwitches to get our protein in. Notice the hot sauce on top, really gave it a kick.

The leeks smelt so nice when they were cooking. I felt like a real chef. The comment:

Another winner!

I had to call Ben to make sure that you blended it after it was cooked. I have never heard of doing such a thing. But also I have never made a soup.

I also had to send Holly out for some chicken broth cause I forgot that vegetable stock cannot make chicken broth.

Other than that, everything went very smoothly. Other than when you say big pot, you mean BIG POT. I had to use a big pot Massive, it was transplanted from a medium one. I had enough for lunch today and more at home, I put the leftovers in a juice jug!

Anyways, it was delicious, fucking fantastic. We combo'd it with some sandwiches. I had chicken with hummus on multi grain with a pickle.

The hot sauce really made it pop!

Look at how happy the little monster is!!

Oh man, this one was amazing again, how can Lyndsay be so good. Lyndsay and Ben ooze talent. Curry is my fav, Indian is my fav, this one was special. Chickpea carrot salad with Mango curry chicken sandwiches. The sauce was unbelievable. I doubled it to have some leftover to dip pita into.

The salad was awesome. Very quick to make, I will probably make this for my parents.

The comment:

This one worked out really well for us in a few ways.

We got to make it together (Holly worked on the salad.)

We didn't have to make a salad too.

It gave us something to make my rents when we have them over sometime.

I got to do a few new things that I had never done before which improved my confidence! It's silly but when I was cooking the spice I was like, "what the hell am I doing, wait, it's working, wow, I'm not totally retarded."

Thanks again!! The next one looks like a winner for next week, tonight I'm making the ribs again!

And finally the Rootbeer Ribs. Absolutely delicious. Better I'm sure if we had a slowcooker, I would get one, but I want the rents to have something fun to get us for xmas.

This is the second time I made them, notice this time I made them with some Garlicky baked potato fries. I found the recipe online.

This recipe started it all and got me hooked on the blog and my goal to cook it all. Although, some have fish and non-rib pork, so those won't be cooked.

The comment:

These ribs were fucking brilliant. Holly said they were better than Baton Rouge.

Instead of a slow cooker, I popped them into the oven at 300 in a tented foil contraption inside a platter like you would use for Lasagna. I filled it 2/3 of the way full with rootbeer, I bought two litres and didn't use too much, haha.

Anyways, you are the Queen of cooking, more simple type recipes like this are needed. Just awesome stuff!

In conclusion, I'm really glad I've learnt a bit more of how to cook. My confidence has gone way up. Lyndsay's blog is just amazing. I recommend you make some of the things on it. They are mostly easy, and always delicious.

Next time you come over for dinner I promise to make you more than just hamburgers or sausages. Unless the sausages are in a potato and olive "stew".

Sunday, October 18, 2009

In highschool, when I discovered Seinfeld, I decided I wanted to be a standup comedian. I wanted to be this guy.

So I worked on a few bits, here and there, it was harder then I thought. When my friends and I started to venture downtown, and go to our cities only comedy club at the time called Yuk Yuk's, I decided I would one day try my stuff out on amateur night.

Throughout highschool, I never really took the classes seriously, but I used them as a laboratory to experiment on people to find out what is funny and what isn't, and just have fun with my days. Of course, this is a generalization, I didn't just do this, I did do well at the end of highschool, enough to get into University, and I did get A's in a couple classes before the last year. But in general I think this is accurate.

But this is not to say that my ultimate goal was to be a comedian, I would have settled for screenwriter or actor. In middle school I had a bit of an affair with comics as I had a friend who could draw and we would team up and make funny little tidbits here and there.

Ok, so the point of this is to reveal to you what I've kept private and recently found, my highschool "comedic bits". Here they are, don't laugh too hard. Either I could only find three, or that's all there were. And yes, they are totally Seinfeldian, I am a mimic.

"What's going on with those yellow and orange jackets people are buying these days? I don't know whether to stop 20 meters in front of them or ____."

Ok, so no punchline in that one, needs some work. Also, kids aren't wearing those jackets anymore. I'd say that was a fad that dyed out. I think those coats are like the jacket Marty wears in Back to the Future. Although, this is written years after the movie obviously.

"Is there a test that movies have to pass?"

So, this one needed some elaboration as well. But I think with some work it could have been funny. I think I've actually heard Jerry use this one though. Maybe my subconscious stole it.

"What's the deal with those twin pokers in geometry sets? Are they for self defence or what? Like they give you a triangle, a compass, a half circle, and a two sided sharp thing to protect yourself if someone tries to steal them?"

This is the best one. The joke is complete and I think it's pretty funny.

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So that's it, I hope you enjoyed something I was embarrassed to share for a while!

Monday, October 12, 2009

By special request from Tom, here I am with my first post in a few months. Tom’s blog has really turned into a great source of entertainment and interest. It’s been a great way to keep up with Tom and follow his witty and varied observations on everything from 10 cent fish to his philosophy on self-identity, society and values (how to enjoy the cottage). It turned into so much more than a blog about the pond. I kind of left it to Tom to keep going, because a blog takes on the personality of the writer, and having two contributors would disrupt the flow and meaning of the page. Nevertheless, Tom asked me to create a post on my impressions of Victoria and how I’ve adapted. I’ll gladly fill everyone in on how it’s been living on the west coast for the past 38 days.

Victoria has a lot to offer for those who can break in. By this, I mean that Victoria can reject you, preventing you from establishing yourself. And I say this not just from the perspective of someone who has had a tough time getting a job during this recession. I think Victoria is generally harder to break into. The economy runs off a large proportion of retirement money and public service employment. So, if you don’t find a profession in government, education or health care, and have no plans to retire in the near future, your options are severely limited. Sure, there are entrepreneurs and some private industry, but the proportion is severely less than most Canadian cities of its size. That said, even if you do break in, Victoria’s real estate is radically more expensive than the average. I think the median price for a house here is 450,000$. It takes a huge normative shift to want to commit to real estate here. But, let’s say you get the job you wanted and you decide to bite the bullet and purchase a house or condo here. You’ve made it over the biggest hurdles and you’re here. If you like getting out and exploring or enjoying what your tax dollars pay for, then it’s really amazing. It’s a really great city that values its green space and is very well taken care of. There is rarely any traffic congestion, and it’s easy to find your way once you know a couple major roads.

I’ve done some driving here, but the majority of my exploring has been on bike. There’s a major trail system called the Galloping Goose that takes you nearly anywhere in Victoria. I’ve been galloping a lot. And so do a lot of people in Victoria. It’s really a great place if you want to keep the car in the driveway (or not buy a car!) and bike to work. If you’re not on the Galloping Goose, the roads often have bike lanes and are increasingly being retrofitted to include them.

Here are a couple pics of some bike art and graffiti at Recyclistas, a Bike Co-op along the Galloping Goose.

They’re really great people there. The shop is at a fork in the trail, so it’s a great meeting place. They make art out of some their worn out bike parts. I ‘m going to start thinking of some things I can make with some of my old stuff. I’d like to make a mosaic out of old chains. There’s also a pic of me with a Monkey Tree. They’re cool. Some day I’m going to buy a monkey tree.

When I rode on Sunday the Victoria marathon was taking place, making downtown more hustly and bustly than usual. Here’s a statue guy painted in yellow and purple. He wanted money for his theatrics.

I then headed down to the beach. There are beaches like this everywhere. Just one of the benefits of being on an island. The giant tree trunk next to me has probably been there for years. There’s washed up wood everywhere. Maybe I can compete with Relic in the beachcomber biz.

There’s a lot of cool architecture here. Modern condos and houses have huge windows. If situated in the right direction, the windows can provide a lot light and have a heating effect on the house as well.

I wanted to get more pics of some cool houses in James Bay, but my camera died. I went to the dollar store and picked up an eight pack of Chateau AAs for 1.40$. They’re such crap that they couldn’t even turn on the cam. I’ll put up more pics of houses another time.

Here’s a pic of an old ship being torn down for scrap metal. Ironically, this metal yard is in one of the more expensive parts of town. It will probably be removed in the next few years, with trendy condos coming in to take its place. The area is called Selkirk. Jessie’s friend’s family business develops a lot of the residential and commercial property in the area.

Here’s the biggest tree I’ve yet to find. It’s a big Redwood in a park in the city.

Here's a picture of Jessie. "Look, a duck!"

Finally, what’s a life update without including Dr. Freeman's latest exploits! He’s been growing like a true scholar, and has had some adventures along the way. Here he is on the roof of Jessie’s parents’ house. Little rascal just can’t help but follow the big cats around. He’ll learn though that he’s not destined to be a feral crazy thing.

Victoria’s been great, but it’s not a place where your credentials or hard work necessarily allow you to break in. Nothing's a given, especially during the present. Once you’re established, it has a lot to offer, especially if you enjoy milder weather and the outdoors. As the guy who took my photo next to the beached tree stump stated, “Victoria has three seasons, spring and summer.”

Thursday, September 10, 2009

This is what is called getting away from it all, yet a lot of people don't really understand how to do this. Literally they've done this of course, they're away from all their stuff, except for what they've taken with them, but they probably haven't really mentally done this.

I will explain what I mean.

This is something I've thought about for a while, and it's something I've had to teach myself. Subconsciously at first I was doing it, then when I realized what I was doing I was proud.

In the beginning Tom created a cottage wardrobe. I will preface here by saying that some time ago my parents bought a cottage near Gracefield, Quebec. I'm sorry if I've never taken you there, I have a problem with driving there, and I don't go often. Anyways, this cottage wardrobe is just clothes that I've worn throughout my life, all of it still fits to a degree, the pants are too big, the shirts are sometimes a bit too small, I have a Bartman shirt that I'm pretty proud of.

When I change into these clothes, I don't look like the other Tom, because he wears different clothes. There, now when I look in the mirror, I can say that I look different. This doesn't make me different, but it helps.

I couple this with acting different, and by being out of routine.

At home, you tend to follow routines, even on the weekends. You can't help it. Unless you get a 3 day weekend. Then you have this weird extra day where you go crazy trying to pack in all this super fun stuff, or doing nothing.

At the cottage, fuck it. Get up when you want, 7 a.m., 10, 1, 5, who cares. Take naps, get buzzed in the day, early, then go running, or on a boat, I don't care. Also, play board games and cheat, then when you lose, go crazy, like scream and yell. You will end up acting the way normal people in the city would tell you is insane. This is acting different. This is what you need to do.

Sometimes I start a giant fire for no reason, at like 8 in the morning. My parents and my wife aren't fazed. Sometimes they watch me to make sure I don't start a little forest fire like I have before cause the foliage tends to get close to the fire pit, but other than that, these relatively unorthodox behaviours are quite normal for cottage Tom. Because he's just not city Tom. Just not at all.

Cottages and camp sites are fun cause they allow you to escape from yourself. You can become a character you have inside you, or one that you've always wanted to try out. A different person for a weekend. At least that's how I see it. But it was my reflection on it that made me realize that it has happened naturally for me.