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Men Have Hormones Too

This is probably a very sexist sounding article, so if you want to save some time just call me sexist now and go on your way. But if you want to stick around I’m going to be talking about men and the neurochemistry of aggression.

In The Grapes of Wrath when the Dust Bowl is drying up the land and the banks are foreclosing on the farmers, John Steinbeck writes, “And the women went quickly, quietly back into the houses and herded the children ahead of them. They knew that a man so hurt and so perplexed may turn in anger, even on people he loves.” I’ve always found this an insightful observation, and I came to learn that there is a biological basis for this anger. It’s all about hormones.

Guys love to talk about women acting emotionally irrational because of their hormones, saying things like “Oh she’s just upset because she’s PMSing” or maybe “that’s just the hormones talking”. But men have hormones too. And while men’s hormones don’t vary in a monthly cyclical way, their hormonal irrationality can be just as predictable.

The hormone of interest here is testosterone. This is a gross oversimplification of the effects of testosterone, but basically it makes you feel more powerful and energetic. It is a good feeling. It also causes increased sex drive. People often think that testosterone causes increased aggression, but it’s actually more of the other way around. Increased aggression leads to increased testosterone.

Importantly men’s testosterone levels are affected by social standing. This is all easier to understand in gorillas (and other non-human primates), because they’ve got simpler societies, but they have basically the same neurobiology, so most everything applies to us. In gorillas there is a pecking order. The alpha male has the most testosterone, and gets to sleep with all the pretty lady gorillas. There’s a whole hierarchy of dominance. If you want to move up the ladder you’ve got to prove yourself in a fight. When two gorillas fight, the winner gets a testosterone boost while the loser experiences a testosterone decrease. Interestingly, the alpha male doesn’t get to be alpha because he has the most testosterone, but vice-versa. He gets the most testosterone because he proves himself to be alpha male by winning fights.

In humans, social defeats are not usually losing a fight, but the effects on testosterone are the same. Maybe you lose your job, or get embarrassed in front of your peers. Maybe you just lost the company softball game, or your favorite sportsteam lost. These are all examples of social defeat, and if you experience them, then your testosterone drops.

Unfortunately, when a guy’s testosterone levels drops he feels kind of crappy. He feels less powerful, and has less energy. It might even affect his sex drive. Most guys know this feeling, but don’t recognize it as being caused by changing hormones. They just know that the easiest way to deal with the feeling is to assert their dominance over someone else.

Asserting your dominance via fighting or shouting or video games or sports helps boost testosterone and stabilizes your mood. Now obviously some ways of boosting testosterone are more constructive than others (like exercise for example), but when your hormones are changing it’s a lot to ask to be completely rational. I’m not saying this is an excuse for men to act like assholes when they lose their job or get embarrassed; I’m just trying to explain the impulse.

If you’re a woman and get upset when guys blame your emotions on your hormones, I don’t recommend using this information in your next argument with a guy: “oh you’re just mad at me because you lost your job,” or “you’re just hormonal because those teenagers beat you at basketball”. It will only succeed in making them more upset (getting insulted is a form of social defeat). We all experience other people’s changes in hormones as “irrational moods” but we experience our own hormonal changes simply as “reality”. If you’re a guy, hopefully this gives you a better understanding of how your own emotions work, and more compassion towards how women feel when their hormones are changing. Ultimately, that’s the most important thing for well-being: a better understanding of ourselves, and more compassion towards others.

Fantastic article for both men and women! My girlfriend has mentioned this a few times and it is good to have some verification and deeper understanding of some of my behavior patterns from a certified expert... Also, it does, as the article mentions, help me understand the hormonal process of my girlfriend and women in general a little more. I like how it posits both as normal.

"We all experience other people’s changes in hormones as “irrational moods” but we experience our own hormonal changes simply as “reality”."

Not really. A lot of women are very much aware of how irrationally they are feeling in the middle of PMS (or during pregnancy). It's not even uncommon to have some of them express downright annoyance and frustration at the way they *know* they are just PMSing but they still can't help feeling crappy.

Still, I enjoyed this article, especially for correcting that misbelief I had and that you mention: that testosterone leads to aggression. It makes much more sense indeed the other way around! Thank you for the informative article. Now to remember this when dealing with actual men... :P

That's a great insight. Maybe women (in general) are more capable of seperating their emotions from themselves. They can step back and reflect - probably because they were taught to as children - and see that what they are feeling isn't a "call to action"(reactive) - its a temperature gauage (responsive).

Boys aren't taught to understand or reflect on their emotions but to ignore them. When we are unaware of something it is that much easier for the unknown to control us (reactive)

those who are taught to step back from their emotions and reflect on them have a better ability as adults to respond to emotional situations instead of reacting, which lacks reflection.

Kids need to be taught the levels of emotionalism. They need to be taught that there is a difference between empathetic emotion and personal emotion and hormonal emotion. emotions are simply your body reacting to stimuli and kids need to be taught just because your body is reacting to something doesn't mean you must physically react in accordance to it.

I wish there were more articles talking about testosterone and aggression because currently we are treating the effect as the cause and therefore "men can't help but be aggressive - its in their blood" - when the truth is (which you can see when learning about other cultures, especially ones that are not male dominated)Cultures where violence and aggression are not allowed and are discouraged and shamed (whereas in america it is looked on with pride (if you are male) disdan (if female)- creating a great unbalance between the sexes, by I digress)are populated by men with lower testosterone than cultures that promote violence (America - Where violence is honored: collecting guns, knives, grenades- Where wrestling, boxing and ultimate fighting bring in millions in profit - where the highest grossing games and movies are violent)

But because we confuse cause and effect we think that there is nothing that can be done about violence because it is a product of testosterone and not the product of our culture.
We give men liscense to be violent because we tell ourselves "they can't help themselves" when really it's culture's acceptance of it that allows the violence to happen - not men's natural urge.