“Being a young actor in the industry, I had a lot of people who strongly advised me to stay quiet,” Amboyer tells PEOPLE. “That was hard to live with. But I’ve never played a gay role before and I didn’t want to be limited by some strange perception.”

So as he found Hollywood success, he kept quiet about his decade-long relationship with financial planner Eric P. Berger.

“When I went to work on a new show or film, there was always a process of letting people know,” explains Amboyer, who plays twins Thad and Chad on TV Land’s Younger and scored a recurring role on The Blacklist: Redemption.

But on Saturday — in front of 115 family and friends — Amboyer, 31, wed Berger, 37, in New York City and is opening up for the first time publicly about his relationship.

“It was a hard decision to figure out how to approach it in a public way,” says Amboyer. “There are some actors out there now who just keep it as an unspoken aspect of their life and never discuss it in public. But then there are men likeMatt BomerandZachary Quinto. I look up to them and see how them being so open affected other people and the country’s perception of gay people. AndNico Tortorella, who is also on Younger, has inspired me by the way he’s become such an advocate for gender fluidity. I think the more open actors can be the less stigma there will be attached, which will be a positive thing moving forward.”