Tag Archive: Healing

Sarah is someone I have never met; we’re friends on Facebook.
She was injured in a hit and run accident, and things have spiraled downhill since.
Please consider donating to her fundraiser – help her get back on her feet.

Yesterday, she was victimized yet again.
“I got robbed yesterday. Someone took all my cash and my phone charger. Please make a donation to my fundraiser. Right now every dollar truly counts.”

“Hello world… 2016 has been a rough year me and things continue to get increasingly worse. Honestly I am beginning to feel cursed. On the 4th of February I was the victim of a hit and run accident. I was crossing a major street (walking) and was hit by a car. It took off. I wound up with a broken tailbone and a concussion and a crapload of medical expense. I am still in an intense amount of pain. I have no insurance and the police are just not following up with this case, despite numerous calls. I can’t even afford any more medical help. Due to the cost of everything related to the accident my savings was depleted. I ended up losing my job because of absences resulting from the accident. Then in April when my roommate decided she needed our room for her boyfriend who was getting out of prison (sprung on us with less than a month notice). I was hosed. For the past few months I have been basically homeless, sleeping on couches and staying in hotels when I could do so. I went back to work for a former employer doing sales, but any money I made was immediately spent to survive because I am in a deep, deep hole. And with the housing crisis in Portland, I haven’t even been able to find a room to rent. This past pay period I didn’t make commission. It was the first time in my entire history with this company I did not do so. They fired me. I am still in shock. I am working on trying to get unemployment but obviously the situation is even more dire now. It looks like we will be sleeping in the truck for the time being. So, I am asking for your help. I am in urgent need for food, shelter, bills, doctor’s visits, and basics. I am trying so hard to get back on my feet and it seems despite everything I do things just keep getting worse. Please donate if you can. Every little bit helps!”

Some of you have probably seen this (I’ve posted this on all my blogs, plus several Facebook pages, including our troupe/studio page Kamala Chaand Dance Company, or my dance page, Adara Din), so my apologies for this clogging up your feeds.

Well… I’m only kind of sorry – because this is an awesome thing.

We are starting a community program called ‘Our Dancing Daughters’. This program is designed to support at-risk girls, teens, and women with self empowerment education through dance (a lot like SEEDs). There are, currently, no programs like this in our area.

Troupe members will be taking part in crisis prevention training so that we are able to coach the girls and young women through issues that they may be struggling with. We will work with a financial planner who will assist the girls and young women with learning how to make a budget, check their credit, balance a checkbook and plan their lives financially.

We will be implementing an accountability system whereby the girls and young women who are in school will have a regular check in with a partner and with one of the KCDC instructors about how they are doing in school and what they need to work on in order to excel.

Additionally, we will be aiding the girls in finding scholarships and programs to help them with their education after high school.

Our aim is to help women and girls who are the most at risk, to become leaders in their community through self empowerment and the building of their self esteem and self reliance.

We’ve started a fundraiser – it’s what all the cool kids are doing these days.

We’re working on getting a slightly larger studio space in our building, in order to accommodate a larger number of students. We are also looking for seed money to start the scholarship program, as well as being able to supply basic costuming for the scholarship recipients (zils, skirt, and an Our Dancing Daughters logo tank top).

This is something very important to me, personally, as I dealt with severe self-image issues and eating disorders as a young woman. I now know I am not alone, and having a support group in dance has been nothing short of amazing.

If you are able, please consider donating to our Gofundme fundraiser.
If you aren’t, but would still like to help, we’d love it if you could share our page with others.
Potato salad dude raised thousands of dollars on a joke; I think we can raise a bit to help our community.

TL;DR?
Visit the link and see the cool stuff you can get for helping at-risk girls.

I wanted to expand a little on my Facebook status update from last night (3/31) for a few reasons, not the least of which being that it was late and I was typing it on my phone.

—-Original Post—-

“Confidence is sexy.”
How often, as women, do we hear that?
How many times today did I read that as a response to a friend’s status? Four. Four different friends had that response.
Do you know why I hate that phrase?
Because it’s a bullshit line.
Confidence *should* be sexy. But when a woman asks for what she wants or, Heaven forbid, demand it, she’s told that she is needy, demanding, and pushy (and a slew of other things).
We are, essentially, trained to shrink within ourselves. To be self-conscious and to think so little of ourselves so that we will not be seen as over-bearing.
Yes. We need to be confident and strong.
But YOU need to treat us like our wants are valid. Like we aren’t asking too much. Like it is acceptable and normal to have high hopes and goals.
I am confident.
But many times I feel I have to hide it because I just don’t have the patience to fight with people anymore.
You know what, though?
I am really, really tired of holding back.
So, fuck it.
I’m gonna be a goddamned star.

————–

Some of you may be wondering why I would be offended at someone telling me, even in a positive way, that my confidence is sexy.
Or maybe you’re not; it doesn’t particularly matter to me, but this post will probably bore and/or confuse you.

First of all, my attractiveness is not anyone’s business but my own. How I look, how I feel, cannot, should not, and will not be validated by how others see me.
I don’t need to *be* a certain thing to please others.

Secondly, by implying that only when I am “confident” (does it always have a particular look?) can I be attractive, you are invalidating all other emotions I may experience.
It’s like when someone (male or female, mind you) tells you that “you should smile more often; you’re so much prettier when you smile.”
It’s condescending.

Side note:
I had Glamour Shots photos taken several years ago. One photo hung on a wall, framed, in the art gallery where I worked. I cannot tell you how often I heard this (and variations of it):
“Oh my God, is that you?! You look really different. You look so pretty!”
They were trying to be nice… I suppose, but it hurt. They were essentially saying that I was not beautiful naturally. That the air brushed, coated-in-make-up me was stunning.

I trust very few people out there when it comes to my appearance – sexy or not.
And even then, I really only trust myself.

I don’t dress a certain way to please others. It’s pretty obvious that I live at the ass-end of the fashion world.
I wear blue jeans and hoodies, I wear my dance gear, I wear old sweatshirts that have been shredded by time.
I wear what makes me comfortable.
I have tattoos that mean things to me. I don’t give a damn if anyone else “gets” them. They’re for me and me alone.
I color my hair. Often.
I like how I look with different colors.
I wear next-to-no makeup on a daily basis. I don’t need to put color in my cheeks to please the masses.
I am more than okay with how pale I am.
That said, I enjoy wearing makeup. I like showing off different features in different ways, and playing with colors to see how they look on my face.
I do not do that for anyone but myself.

It may be a bit hypocritical to say that I do appreciate it when people tell me things like, “You look really good today.” or “That’s a great color on you.”
It is a bit of an ego boost, and I’m okay with that.
But…. I do not feel horrible or sad or like less of a woman if I don’t hear those things. Hell, I don’t even think about it.

If I want an opinion about how I look, I’ll ask.

I’m really fortunate to have people in my life that are supportive of me and my choices.
Rarely have my friends or family told me that I’d “look better if…”

————-

Confidence is:The state of feeling certain about the truth of something.
I am confident that my looks have nothing to do with my feeling of confidence.

A feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.
I am confident that, regardless of how other people see me, I am beautiful, talented, intelligent, compassionate, and driven.

If someone chooses to see me differently, that’s their problem, not mine.

I am tired.
I am worn.
There is no place on my body that doesn’t hurt.

And I am hurt.

It’s no secret that I am a dancer.
I make it pretty damn clear that dance is important to me.
I feel like I make it clear that I would love for my friends and family to see me dance.

It’s a rare occasion that someone from outside of my dance circle comes to a show.
My in-laws have been to two performances.
My mother has seen one.
I made my husband come to my first recital.

I was part of a variety show that some friends *happened* to be at, so they got to see me dance.
I am not entirely sure that people watch the videos I post.
It’s not that I want them to love dance like I do. I don’t want them all to come to my classes (more on that in a bit).

This is a time of rest. As the night is long and the days are short it becomes a time of self healing and rejuvenation. As mother Earth has tucked herself in, so should you. It is perfectly fine to allow yourself the time to heal and relax that is necessary.

This is also known as the Yule Moon, as it usually falls right before the Yule celebrations begin. Take time for reflection on the past year. Honour all that you have learned and mentally clear out what you no longer need. Enjoy the long night as it is a time of peace on Earth and a great time of personal healing.

Whether you celebrate Yule, Christmas, Chanukah or Kwanza, it is a time of peace and love, to all mankind and to the creatures of the earth. Do not forget to put out food for our animal friends as food is getting scarce and all life is sacred, this becomes a good time to honour all life.

This is also the time of fellowship, when friends come together and new friends are made. When the prosperous help support those who struggle, there is no greater joy than the sharing of what you have with those who have not.

In the native belief, the time of the moon covered from one month to the next, so it was not just one day, it was the cycle of the moon. So there was always plenty of time to do what needed to be done in that time. So do not think that you only have one day to honour, celebrate, meditate and rest. Spend the whole month doing so. Allow yourself the time to rest and repair. But also allow yourself time to celebrate and share.

There are no set rules to honour this time of year, there are many customs and beliefs, but you should do what your heart feels is right. Your guides can help you or you can follow the tradition of your choice. In my home we honour all, I will set up for Yule, we will have a tree, I will light the candles of the menorah, I believe all holidays have a valid point or they would not exist. Besides it is fun to study others beliefs, helps me to be more understanding, then any judgment or fear of someone else’s beliefs fade away and I continue to grow. So on that note, I shall bid you adieu, from this moon ’til the next, many blessings to you and yours.

Tonight is a Full Moon it is called the Cold Moon or the Before Yule Moon.
This is an especially special Full Moon because it is the last one of this year. It is a time to use the Moonlight to charge our energies ready for coming Yule and the New Year.
This particular Full Moon will not be boring and will have an unpredictable vibe along with it. What was stuck may suddenly begin to move or shift. If emotions are clogged, they may surface and flow.
Allow this.
Be with it as loving as possible with your self and others.
The potential of the Full Moon in Gemini is to become aware of where you are engaging in dualistic thought, emotions and behaviors on auto-pilot. This may be generating a lot of mental stress and tension plus sending out mixed signals to others and the Universe. Some people may be irritable and cranky.
Emotions can be raw and urgent.
Breathe deeply.
Ground yourself.
Keep a sense of humor.
Be of good cheer.
Be the calm in the storm.
Get in the driver seat and empower yourself.
Be honest with yourself.
Stop arguing for your limitations.
Take responsibility for your life. In this way, you can change what is not working. You are the master of your destiny.
Take your power back from society and/or other people.
Learn from your mistakes.
Vow to do better next year.
Make a commitment to your success.
Be adaptable.
Make friends with change. It is not the enemy. Change is your friend. Change sheds the old and gives birth to the new.
With Yule and New year approaching look deep into yourself and ask what you want to happen in the coming year, ask yourself how you will bring it about. Make this the year that you make all your dreams come true. The energy from this Full Moon wants you to succeed. Tell the Moon your hopes and dreams write them down on paper and burn them by a white candle. As the smoke drifts to the heavens the universe will receive your message. Have a blessed Full Moon.
May the Goddess watch over you.

There is nothing particularly outstanding about me. I’m okay with that, really.

Seriously, there isn’t anything in particular that makes me stand out. I am absolutely average in almost every way.

I am good at quite a few things, but I’m not really great at anything.
I’m also kinda bad at a lot of things, but there’s not much that I have completely failed at.

I’m of average height and weight.
I pretty much look like every other Midwesterner of Scandinavian descent. I’m not “media attractive”, but I get the occasional compliment and I don’t find that people snicker at my looks.

I have my own sense of style that is neither fashionable or not fashionable. I can wear jeans and a hoodie 75% of the year (I live in Minnesota, for Heaven’s sake; it’s easy to do).

When I was in school, my grades stayed around 3.5.
I went to college for a degree that I don’t use and don’t expect to at any point in the future.

The only debt I have is on the house we own.

I’m a good dancer, but not a great one. That’s something I am actively working toward, though.

I am very, very good at singly poorly (World’s Worst Irish Tenor competition honorable mention 5 of the last 7 years).

I’m terrible – horrible – at making phone calls, but I am awesome with emails, texts, and instant messages.
(Funny thing… My Dad just called me and mentioned that I don’t call. So I had to mention that I was writing about the very subject.)
Really, the best way to get my on the phone is to send me a text that says, “Can I call you?”

I’ve done a few competitions in my life. I never finished first or last.

I’ve been injured, but not traumatically.
I have family friends who have/had some serious health issues, but I have been blessed to be relatively healthy.

I’m in the middle of everything, you see, caught in a place where I can go unnoticed by most people.
But I do have people that care.
And that is what matters to me.