Month: May 2015

On Friday 29 May, 2015, I lost my comic convention virginity. I went to my first Con. DC has started holding a convention called “Awesome Con”. I think this was the third or fourth year its been held. I decided to start with this one, as its more of a mixed con than many. This one isn’t dedicated to just comics, or anime, or tv, its got everything. The thing that really convinced me to give it a shot was the appearance by two of the Comic Book Men (Bryan Johnson and Ming Chen). I purchased a one-day only ticket, and bout a photo of ticket for Bryan Johnson. I wanted to get the photo with Ming as well, but wasn’t sure the timing would work out. As it happened, it would have, but, that’s skipping ahead a few hours =P. Shortly after I bought my admission ticket, it was announced that William Shatner (who was scheduled for Sunday only) would be unable to attend on Sunday, so rescheduled for Friday and Saturday. BONUS! I immediately shelled out the $70 for a photo op with him. I thought about buying the VIP pass for him, but it was something like $375. I love Capt. Kirk, but not enough to shell out a few hundred =P. Heck, it hurt to shell out the $70 for a 5 second chance to meet him, but I did it. Finally, looking through the list of celebrities offering photo ops, I found another really cool one that I was willing to shell out $30 for. John Rhys-Davies. I’ve loved the man since I saw him in Shogun as a child. I couldn’t pass up the chance to meet him in person, and I’m glad I didn’t. He ended up being one of the high points of the day.

So my first entry was a little personal and maybe a tad bit narcist, I have been pondering deleting but I won’t.

So i decided to post something that is constantly on my mind. What is our purpose on this planet?

Now a quick background is in order. I am far from religious, I have gone through different versions of Christianity, and some pagan practices(Wicca and Witchcraft) as well as atheism(thought this one makes the least sense to me). I have experienced many different things that I can’t describe any other way than supernatural and/or spiritual. So my belief structure or world view is at best weird. So to put it simply I do believe in a “higher power”. No nothing like a big bearded man in the sky that watches over us like you would an ant farm. More like an energy or entity which has a positive “good” side and negative “bad” side. No not the force lol. I have experienced both sides and have felt and seen things that I just can’t describe. Like I said my views are weird.

Once we were on the train, we got to our seats quite easily. As we had had breakfast, we decided we would wait until we were on the train between Gloucester and Nottingham to get something to eat. We settled in for this leg of our trip, which would only be a little less than an hour.

Once we got to Gloucester, we unloaded our bags from the train, and realized we needed to cross over the tracks to get to the other platform for our train. We found the elevator that would take us up to the bridge, crossed over, and found a little waiting room to get out of the wind. While in the room, we realized that we should have gotten something to snack on from the other side, as there wasn’t anything on our side of the tracks. We decided not to worry about it as our train to Nottingham was going to be arriving soon, and we would be on that train for two (2) hours, and we could get something to eat on there.

So I am making my first ever blog. It’s one of those things that I always wanted to make but never did. This medium of the message board helps me accomplish this by making it easy to do.

I have always wanted to create a blog so I could express my thoughts and rants that are in my mind that I can’t or won’t share with others. Yes I am the master of run on sentences and my grammar isn’t the best.

Anywho and anyways, here goes nothing.

For the past almost two years now I have been unemployed. I lost my job/career with a mayor retailer that I had invested 7 years of my life to. All because I made a stupid mistake and they let me go. The mistake was my fault and I thought I wasn’t doing anything wrong but here we are. I have suffered from anxiety and severe IBS for the past 5 years and getting fired made it even worse. I couldn’t step out of my house with out having a panic/anxiety attack. I got some Xanax prescribed but I hate taking pills so I tried my hardest to stay off of them. So I stayed home, my kids suffered the most out of this because I would have anger issues(no I did not abuse my children I would never touch a hair on their heads) but I would definitely scream at them and get angry for the tiniest things. I look back at those first few months after getting fired and I cringe. I still cry over it when I have time for myself( being a stay at home dad or mom doesn’t leave you with a lot of time for yourself). I love my kids more than anything in this world and I wish there was a way for me to take all those months back. We had a bunch of great times as well like doing puzzles, playing games, etc but it was still tough.

Yes, this will be rambling. No, it might not make any sense to those of you who live outside my brain. Is this a good indication of my state of mind? Very probably.

Everything flows into, and out of everything, so this might be just opening the floodgates, but this is 1/2 rant, 1/2 explanation, 1/2 search for validation, 1/2 making up excuses to conceal that maybe I am just that lazy. Which is to say, this is likely 200% boring, but a way to put thoughts down.

No matter what you, or anyone else says, we all care about our appearance. We care whether we look good, if we look bad, what message we are sending by how we look. Even the most dreadlocked, hairy, dirt smeared hippy cares that how he looks demonstrates how little he cares. It’s the same catch-22 that exists in asking whether there is truly such a thing as a selfless act.