Hey, Max Landis: it's not impressive to "be true to yourself" if "yourself" is a dick.

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Earlier this week, 28-year-old screenwriter Max Landis (yep, son of famous director/screenwriter John Landis) tweeted an interview he did for Shelby Sells. "seriously don't click that last link unless you're ready to know me wayyyyyyy too well," he wrote. Revised disclaimer: don't click unless you're ready to be disgusted by Landis' musings on chicks who don't orgasm the way he thinks they should and how neat it is to be a single guy in LA surrounded by "unhealthy and anxious" hobags — and even more disgusted by how he thinks he deserves credit for being "real."

Some portions of the interview are simply obnoxious; for example, the section in which he admits "i consider myself rare amongst guys in that i still sort of think of hooking up with me as like a privilege someone could have?" Others are more twisted.

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Here's Landis on being single in LA (sorry for the massive block quote — trust me, it's crucial):

what’s it like being a single, successful guy in LA?

… the one thing that’s changed is certain chicks, which only started happening very recently, when they find out i’m a director, will open up a lot quicker.

you mean their legs?

everything – their legs, their personality. they’ll start crying to you in an instant.

oh god, why?

because they’re trying to leave an impression.

does it leave an impression?

yea, but it’s people doing a bad job at leaving a good impression. for example, extras on my set would just throw it at me hard in a way that i’ve never experienced. i mean everyone’s had that thing where you’re like making eye contact with someone at a party and you it’s on, but this was different than that. this was chicks coming up to me and being like ‘what’re you doing at lunch? i’ll come to your trailer!’ and i was like ‘i don’t know who the fuck you are!’ my experience of chicks throwing themselves at you like that – they’re always fucking crazy. no chick worth hooking up with is going to throw it at you because it means they’re crazy. i gave this girl my number – i was really stupid – because i was like why not? maybe i’ll hook her up with one of my friends.

might as well share the wealth

[Ed. note: PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION BELOW FOR SPECIAL REPULSION]

yea i wanted to hook her up with a newly single friend of mine. she started texting me every 15 minutes and i wouldn’t respond, i told her to stop texting me. i’d be on set directing and she would be like ‘why? what’s wrong? do you hate me? i know how you guys are’ and i was like ‘what the fuck are you talking about?’ and it immediately read unhealthy to me. unhealthy and anxious. women who are throwing it that easy – they’re not doing it because they think i’m cute, they’re doing it because they need some kind of validation. i’m a tiny, tiny bit successful, but in the scale of things you’re gonna fuck me for no reason? i don’t see it. i’m not on that level. i’m not a rockstar – i’m not in a band, you’re not going to be in my video. the only thing you could get from fucking me is getting to fuck me, and if so, lucky you. i guarantee that’s not what any of these chicks who just throw it at me really want. granted they’ll have a wonderful time, but it’s weird. being a single guy in LA is fun as fuck and i love it. the fact that everyone here is so good-looking is intense and good and rewarding. something about everyone around you being a little bit better looking, it puts you in a good mood. i don’t feel bad or superficial for saying that. i’m also attracted to ambition and there’s a lot of that out here. but yea being a single guy in LA is great. sorry it took me so long to answer that question.

Landis casually mentions that he cheated on a girl who he "also gave a crippling social anxiety, self-loathing, body dismorphia, eating disorder to." Oops!

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i mean you can’t really give someone any of these things, but the seeds of these things were there inside of her. we were in such a sort of unfair, fucked up relationship – not the kind where there’s a lot of yelling and screaming – the actual relationship was very nice and loving, but i was so fickle about her body. i’m not shy, i would just blurt out shit all the time. she ended up completely changing how she dressed and how she looked for me. that chick will never talk to me again.

Don't get him started on girls who don't get off from sex:

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I can’t date chicks who haven’t figured out their orgasms. I’ve met a lot of chicks who don’t or can’t cum during sex but still go on and on about how much they love sex and it throws me a little because I’m like, do you though?

The internet was not amused by Landis' confessional. "In case anyone is still wondering why Hollywood has so far to go in regards to women, it's because of this," one woman tweeted. "How'm I 'posed to concentrate @ wrk when I cud b sleeping w Max Landis#screenwriter?" said another. "So apparently Max Landis is a misogynistic douchebag? Good to know!" a filmmaker tweeted.

Landis was shocked by the vitriol. He responded at length to haters on Twitter:

He also wrote a rambling, melodramatic Facebook post on "self-awareness" and posted this:

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Holy fucking shit. The response to that sex interview is insane. People fucking DESPISE me it's incredible. Granted, people who "get" the interview isn't about "CHEATING IS FUN HAHA I GET LAID" seem to absolutely love it, but the ones who hate it are like calling me a misogynist sociopath rapist and fun stuff like that. It's terrifying. Like, hundreds of people tweeting me in both directions.

Yeah, sorry, that's bullshit. People care what Landis thinks because he presents himself as a person whose ideas are worth taking seriously — and because Hollywood does take him seriously. You have to be ridiculously entitled to be open about being such a douche — and extra entitled to be pissed that people aren't praising you for "opening up."

Landis' reflections are gross, but his defense is so much more offensive to me, especially given that he's in a position of power in an industry with a serious gender gap. Oh, and guess what: Landis wants to make a movie about Wonder Woman. Hopefully the actress who plays her won't throw herself at him and develop a crippling eating disorder — I mean, annoy him by acting "crazy."