It's the Barry and Bud Show! Woo hoo!! Yes folks, live from San Francisco, and then Los Angeles, The Barry and Bud Show, starring Barry Bonds and Bud Selig!!

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

We'll discuss the race issue in greater depth when the time comes, but for right now, let's just say there's a black man and a white man sharing the stage for awhile; one is a star, the other isn't, and they're both responsible for the three-ring circus even being presented at all.

Oh, and they're both jackasses. What difference does it make who's the bigger jackass?

Barry is destined to be linked historically with Bud, almost as much as whoever gives up number 756, and that's appropriate. When Bonds finally gets it, watch as the cameras catch every step of his home run trot. Watch as the camera catches the reaction of the pitcher, the first base coach, each infielder as Bonds passes, and the third base coach. Then the catcher and the umpire, and the entire Giants team.

They'll be a bunch of cameras poised solely on the crowd, two more on the dugouts, and one with a very reliable camera person, fixating on Bud Selig. Selig will be in a booth, as far away from the action as possible, looking like an NFL owner at a playoff game, only without the visible emotion. He'll pretend to be engaged in conversation with whomever, so it looks as if he's got something better to do.

If Bonds manages the record in San Francisco, expect fireworks, Bonds' kids, and an excruciatingly-long delay. Then watch as the pitcher hits the next batter, and the Giants go on to lose the game, inching that much closer to a 95-loss season. Tell me that's not apropos.

In today's Los Angeles Times, Bill Plaschke thinks aloud about the possibility of Bonds breaking the record in L.A. next week, offering this quote from Don Newcombe: "I would not let him have the privilege of breaking the record at Dodger Stadium, no way. I would pitch around him every time."

If Plaschke got the quote and the context right, certainly not a given, and Newk actually made that statement, I'm surprised. If Bonds is still going for the record when Frisco hits town for the final three games of the season beginning September 28, and the Dodgers have a four game lead, then by all means. Pitch around him or just plain knock him down 12 times. Otherwise, the game and the pennant race come first. Let the situation dictate what to do with Bonds.

If, on the other hand, Bonds breaks the record at the Ravine next week, what do you say we make the celebration as quick and painless as possible. Put a new ball in play and get on with the game at hand.

Let's recall how Derrick Hall handled a similar situation, when he was running communications for the Dodgers in 2001, shall we. Frisco asked the Dodgers to participate in a 50th anniversary of Bobby Thomson's "shot heard round the world" celebration, in which the Dodgers and Giants were to don the 1951 duds.

Hall, at the time, said this: "It was really shocking that they would ask. We're in the middle of a pennant race right now with that team. We realize that a man [Ralph Branca] suffered for 50 years, as did Dodgers fans. We are just not going to be a part of it."

Translation: "Bleep off," which is the exact right way to handle such things. It's the Dodgers and the Giants, where gamesmanship means almost as much as pennants. I say "pennants," of course, because "World Championships" don't apply to a conversation involving the San Francisco Giants. For that one item alone, Derrick Hall will always be a hero in my book.

When I saw the "Bonds' former mistress to pose nude for Playboy" headline on ESPN.com, my first thought was, "which mistress?" Then I remembered, Bonds had just the one mistress; but her tenure spanned the term of two of Bonds' marriages. So you can understand my confusion…

Trade Predictions: Octavio Dotel to Los Angeles, Troy Glaus to the Angels, Eric Gagne to Cleveland and Mark Teixeira to Atlanta. Mark Hendrickson, Shea Hillenbrand and Matt Morris will end up someplace, and whoever gets them will, in the long run, be sorry they did. In the short run too. Jermaine Dye, Mark Loretta and Javier Vazquez will end up someplace, and whoever gets them will be extremely happy they did…

Meanwhile, in a blockbuster, the Padres have just acquired Scott Hairston from Arizona. With the division now assured, I presume the rest of the NL West will throw in the towel ASAP…

Media Savvy: From Rotoworld, after Brad Penny's injury turned out to be only an abdominal cramp: "It certainly seemed like more than that after he came up lame running to first base. "I could've stayed in," Penny said. "I'm like, 'I'm fine.' They're like, 'No."' And the fans were like scared, and the Rockies were like excited. If Penny is finished being a teenage girl, he should be able to make his next start."

With Jeff Kent at first base, after his RBI single in the first Wednesday, one of the Houston announcers said this:

"Kent just said more to Berkman then he did the whole time he was here."
Whatever, Kent's resurgent, and looks as good as he did in 2005. Just shows you what a little rest can do. Hint, hint.

Russell Martin Off-Day Watch: Martin's last full day off? July 17. Last one before that, July 3. Prior to that, June 17. Before that, April 30...

Is it just me, or did Oliver Perez become the pitcher everyone thought he would become, about thirty seconds after leaving Jim Tracy and the Pittsburgh Pirates?

Statue for Sandy: The Koufax in bronze campaign continues. Please Vote “Yes on 32.” And tell a friend…