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Thursday, September 13, 2012

Songs for Boyfriends Past

Today, while struggling more than any able-bodied adult human ever should to make a clay pot for my art class, I overheard an intriguing conversation. As water splashed off my pottery wheel, covering my arms in a layer of gray mud, two competent art students nearby discussed the new album one of them (presumably a singer-songwriter) is recording. "All the song titles," she told her friend, "are things I've always wanted to tell my old boyfriends." I was fascinated, in the way people who spend too much time on twitter and tumblr are always fascinated by the love lives of strangers, but didn't want to eavesdrop too much. The musician went on to list the track names for her friend, and I forced myself not to listen... but I did make out two of them: "I'm Completely Over It" and "Shut Up Already." Nice.

I tried to disguise my smile as a twisted-face look of concentration, and in taking my mind momentarily off the slippery monstrosity before me, I flattened my pot into a lopsided disaster. It was okay, though, because my brain had moved on to better things. If I were to write songs for all my former significant others, what would I call them? After some thought, I came up with the following:

NOW! That's What I Call Irritating (Volume 1)
1. I'll Never Stop Hating Your Oasis CD
2. Ugh
3. We're Very Impressed By Your Atheism (Talk About Something Else)
4. Making Out During That '70s Show
5. Bored! at the DnD Game
6. Is There a Subreddit That Can Teach You Social Skills?
7. I Think My Dad Hates You
8. I Told You That In Confidence (Don't Repeat It At This Party)
9. Your New Piercing
10. My Dad Definitely Hates You
11. Let's Just Watch Wishbone and Eat Chips
12. Ugh (reprise)

So what would yours be? This game doesn't discriminate against those who rock their singlehood-- you can make a track list for former crushes or flings or celebrity obsessions, too. If you want to play along, leave a comment with your list of song titles, and maybe I'll announce my favorite entry next time? All applicants win the invisible prize of my eternal love. And seventy invisible cookies.

Okay, I have to go scrub hunks of dry clay off my legs. (Is it supposed to burn?) I hope you guys have a lovely evening!

[Perpetual Singleness]Preamble: Experiments with Heterosexuality.1. Badder Romance.2. How are you "kind of" attracted to me?3. "I'd date you if you were a girl"4. I really hope this one isn't a Jehova's Witness, too.5. No, but he is a Mormon. 6. The untold story of where the fuck you were for nearly four months.

(single most of the time but sort of not right now)1) Make up your damn mind already.2) Yeah, go ahead and stop talking to me.3) I don't mind.4) No, of course I don't like you.5) I know you're scared of me because I'm smarter than you are.6) "YOU'RE A GIRL?"7) No, really, I don't.8) My mum loves you.9) No she doesn't.10) Wait, yes she does.11) Actually, she doesn't.12) Never mind, false alarm, she does.13) My best friend ships us.14) I WANT TO BE ADORABLE.15) Can you please stop trying to make me watch horror movies?16) You're just making me hate you.17) No, I'm not going to start liking you.18) Just cause you party all the time doesn't make you cool.19) Yes, I'm a nerd. Your point?20) "He seems very fond of you." BUT NOT FOND ENOUGH TO JUST DATE ME ALREADY.

1. Bus Stop Kiss (Right Time Right Place)2. Lemon Doesn't Make It Classy3. Mumbling I Love You4. Your Foreskin5. I Don't Like James Bond Films6. It's Okay, I Know You Had Sex With Her7. Actually, It's Not Okay (feat Gerard Way)8. First Choice Right Choice9. Tabloid Scandal10. Eat, Drink & Be Married

1. You're too good to be true2. Yup, I was right3. The nicest guy ever (No really, every girl is special)4. Shit Shit Shit (In love with a girl)5. Stop flirting with me (Unless you mean it)6. How did I get in your bed?7. Thanks for the Rejection8. Tumblr is for Lovers9. Distance is a bitch

1. Stop manipulating me2. So glad we're done3. As it turns out ( I don't like anime)4. Good thing it was just a fling5. Screw your rules6. I am glad you think you are better than me7. Turns out you are too weird for even me

1.) Illusions of Grandeur2.) Good intentions, shit results3.) Why did you think I would want you to hollow out a tree in the woods to make a boat for me4.) Thanks, but no thanks5.) Ode to the current boyf: "We aiight"

1. You Don't Need A Fake English Name (You Have Your Own Chinese One)2. Stop Sweating Already3. My Gay-ness Is Not Contagious4. Biggest Flirt Ever5. Thanks For Being A Dick (Even Though You Don't Have One)

These are kind of out of order and not all about the same person, but...

1. Wherein "Watching a Movie" is a Euphemism For Making Out in Your Twin Bed2. I Heard I Was One Third of the People You Got to Third Base With That Night 3. Sorry I Kept Looking Down Your Shirt in History Class4. You're Really Fucking Obnoxious But I Keep You Around Because You're a Monster in the Sack5. Engines Make Me Hot: Fucking During Firefly6. You're Catholic, I'm Jewish, This Probably Won't Work Out7. I Wish I'd Kissed You That Night on the Bridge8. I Wish I'd Kissed You on Saint Patrick's Day When We Peed in Our High School's Parking Lot9. I Wish I'd Kissed You That Night You Drew a Dinosaur on My Arm10. I Wish I'd Kissed You Three Years Ago in Our English Teacher's Classroom When it Was Just the Two of Us and You Played Piano and We Talked About the Time You Tried to Snort Coke But Couldn't Because You Sneezed11. I Wish I Hadn't Kissed You After I Beat You in Air Hockey12. Please Get Your Tongue Out of My Throat You Slobbery Bastard13. Seriously What the Fuck Are You Doing14. Why Are You Pawing at My Boob, That Does Not Feel Good15. Google "The Female Anatomy," I Think it Would Help You Out

1. Straight Guy (pt. 1)2. Three Years of Me Being Dumb3. Blowjob in Japan4. Convertibles Aren't Cool (Nor Designer Clothes)5. I Just Liked the Idea6. Let's Be Friends7. Never Mind8. Straight Guy (pt. 2)9. Are You Seriously Stalking Me Right Now10. Straight Guy (pt. 3)11. May This Sandwich Never End (Bonus Track)

1)I'm allowed to be in a bad mood, so stop it.2)OMG you're crying again?3)You're not that good at baseball.4)Or video games.5)Or kissing.6)Just... no.7)New girlfriend after two days? Nice.8)I feel sorry for her, but I'm glad it ain't me.9)OMG you're crying again? (acoustic version)

1. "I'd shag you" are not the three little words I always wanted to hear.2. Yes you were my first kiss, you were also my worst.3. I think we're better off as friends, too.4. As far as I care, you no longer exist to me.5. Having a psychology degree does not mean you can read my mind.6. I DO NOT SPEAK INCORRECTLY, YOU ARE JUST POSH.

It's an EP entitled It's A Wonder You're Still Single (Esp. Since You Just Bought New Anti-Frizz Serum)

The kickstarter was a success, I asked for $10 so I could efficiently fund the comfort food I had to purchase for myself from Taco Villa each time I completed a track.

1. Not Enough Deodorant in the World2. If You Call Me "Baby" One More Time, I Will Make It My Personal Mission To Ensure You Will Never Be Able to Make One3. Stop Talking Forever4. Long Distance (or: Skype Sex is a Privilege, Not a Right) 5. Is Pathological Lying Listed in Your Languages on Facebook

My Life in Fictional Men (And the Occasional Real One)1. We're Just Friends2. Legolas Shoot Me With Your Bow3. It's Not Weird He Also Played a Pirate4. Even My Dad Now Knows Who Ron Weasley Is5. I Only Talked To You Because My Friend Left For a Cigarette6. Please Stop Trying to Hold My Hand7. Oh God We're Holding Hands8. Please Let Go of My Hand9. The Avengers Would Be Better if You Weren't Holding My Hand10. I'm Not Ready For a Relationship Right Now

Ablum:To young to remember1.Short story2.Awkward hunger games viewing (with your dad and sister there to)3.Get out of your head and talk to me4.Your best friend is not really your best friend(she also hates me)5.How everyone hated me because I broke up with you6.I am not dating anymore in middle school...7.Is that really what you think of me?8.Ha I finally beat you

1. We Were Never Ever Ever Even Together2. Obscure Haiku (Don't Get That Tattoo)3. St0ner Boi4. STOP! Talkin' 'Bout Weed5. I Had the Time of My Life (at Prom, Your Loss) feat. Everyone You Know6. I Wish You Were Marcus Flutie7. Don't (Refer to Yourself in the Third Person)

1.) You're Just Like My Dad In All The Bad Ways2.) I Seriously Just Randomly Decided To Have A Crush On You (I Don't Even Know You)3.) Lying To Me Is Rarely Successful (When You Tell My Brother The Truth)4.) You Were Nice (And Now You're Married)5.) I...Seriously...Don't Even...6.) We Were Close (And Now You're Married)7.) Darcy8.) I Was A Third Wheel (And Now You're Married)9.) You Just Liked The Idea Of Us, Really (And So Did I)

The One That Moved Away (And Promptly Got Gorgeous)Narcissistic Personality DisorderDON'T! ASSAULT! MY! FRIENDS!'No Thank You'One Time I Sneezed And You Said Bless YouYou're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go (cover)

People pay good money at a spa to have clay splattered all over them. This sounds like a good deal, maybe.

My album:

1. I'm Sorry I Dumped You In the School Gym While Square Dancing (Country Remix)2. We Actually Didn't Have Anything In Common3. I Can See the Lines From Your Tighty Whities4. You Just Fucked Up A Beautiful Friendship5. This Could've Been A Fling (If You Weren't Such a Good Person)6. Stop Pretending You're Michael Cera

1. Really, I'm The Other Girl?2. We Were 15 And You Had a Temper Tantrum Because Your Mom Wouldn't Buy You An Action Figure In The Dollar Store And I've Hated You Ever Since3. I Briefly Thought We Were Cousins Because You Looked Astonishingly Like Uncle Joe But I Was Wrong (George Michael)4. That Time We Went To The Farm And You Slipped in Cow Poop But Now I Couldn't Mention It Without You Getting Pissy5. I Know Your AIM Password, Sucka (2003)6. If Your Dick Was As Big As Your Ego Is, I'd Be A Lot Happier7. What Do You Mean You Don't Like My Favorite Band?8. Really, I'm The Other Girl Again?

Well, actually, there is /r/socialskills, but whether it will actually teach someone social skills is unknown at this time.

So let's get this FOREVER ALONE show going (I only actually dated two of them). Tracks are not in chronological order.

1. A Bear In A Trap2. The Beginning Of All My Neuroses3. The Craziest Time Of Our Lives4. Hooked On An Antidepressant-Fueled Feeling5. Die, Bitch, Die (NB: That one earned the full extent of my wrath, and we never even dated.)6. The One I Should Have Pursued, Part 1. (This goes much like Another Brick In The Wall. This one's about teenage romance that never goes anywhere because I was young, dumb, and didn't realize that my feelings were reciprocated.)7. Let's Hook Up While Your Boyfriend Watches (NB: No, I didn't. But they really wanted to.)8. The One I Should Have Pursued, Part 2. (This one's about two friends in college that had longing looks, but never did anything because they were too afraid of what would happen next.)9. It'll Never Work Out Between Us10. Internet Lust Song (No, it's not about porn.)11. OKCupid Hates You12. The One I Should Have Pursued, Part 3. (This one is about two grown ass people that should at least try, but won't.)13. [A silent track, because.]14. Herp, derp, FOREVER ALONE

LOL @ how pathetically single I am, but anyway:1) Bus Stop Blues2) No, I'm Not Actually a Lesbian3) Guys, that Happened Freshman Year4) You Said You Didn't Understand Harry Potter, so...5) My Mom was Obsessed with Your Dimples6) Well, Noelle Fucked that One Up7) Perfect Jawline8) It Bugs Me That You Aren't Attracted to Me, Even Though I'm Not Attracted to You

1. When You See What Else is Out There, I Hope You Come Back to Me2. The Diner Boy (Coffee With Cream... Or Not)3. You Can Wrap Those Muscle Man Arms Around Someone Else4. I Know You Like Zombies, But Please Don't Eat My Face5. My Ex-Friend's Ex-Boyfriend6. Should Have Just Dated Your Dog7. Pour Some Sweat on Me in the Name of Eew8. He'll Cheat and Shoot Up, But He Won't Eat Meat9. Sure You Wrote That Song for Me...10. You're Not Ready For a Relationship? (Oh, at Least Not With Me)11. Permission Not Granted to Date My Best Friend12. Mind If I Steal Your Innocence?13. You're Sexy... and I Wish You Didn't Know It14. My Very Own Wannabe Cowboy15. Please Stop Leaving Your Boxers on My Floor

So apparently I have a lot to say to my ex-boyfriends /ex-whatevers...so my song titles are in the style of Fall Out Boy and Sufjan Stevens.

What did I do in my past life to deserve this joke of a love life?, an album

1) Yes, I understand the Ginny Weasley-Harry Potter reference. It stopped being funny weeks ago.2) A disorder that makes you hook up with another girl while asleep? Do you think I'm stupid?3) So...you have a girlfriend? And she has cancer? Are you f***ing kidding me?!4) Don't mind my craziness, I just didn't realise that some guys are actually nice. 5) Ginny-Harry comparison still isn't funny.6) Um...I'm sorry? You got caught in the middle of my mental breakdown.7) Did you have fun whittling that walking stick while you weren't calling me?8) Oh wow. You play the trumpet. 9) Dear God. Just go row your stupid boat in your tiny unitard and leave me alone.10) Not even surprised that you have a weird German girlfriend.11) Please stop asking me to marry you when drunk. We are not Harry and Ginny.12) Long distance is sucky.

I love everything about this. Made my own post on the subject, but here's my list anyway:

1. If He Cheats With You, He'll Cheat On You2. I'd Rather Date Your Sister3. An Introduction (Of My Fist to Your Face)4. You Make Dashboard Confessional Sound Punk5. I Am Not Sober Enough For This6. The Sex Was Great, But I Still Hate You7. Wait, You're HOW Old?8. I Hate Your Stupid Face9. You're Harder to Understand Than Fall Out Boy Lyrics10. Do You Ever Stop Talking?11. You're One Step Away From A Restraining Order12. I'm Over It (That's A Lie)

1. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Try to fool me again and I will cut of your dick.2. Summer Lovin' (Oh,It's just me?)3. Oh, you sucked a dick?4. Stopp trying to unbutton my pants5. You looked taller when I was drunk6. Because of preferences and parents: Emphasis on the preferences7. No, I'd rather you didn't want to plant your seed within me.8. Those weren't even my boobs

I'm 26. The following relationships (or flirtationships) happened between ages 14 and 23:

1. We’d Both Be Different (if you hadn’t moved away)2. I Can’t Compete (with your imaginary friend)3. That Time I Loved a Sociopath4. This Never Happened (it was perfect)5. Your Fingernails are Gross6. Your Back Tattoo is Gross7. It’s Called Grammar8. Let’s Be Best Friends9. Let’s Never Talk Again 10. I Can’t Date You Because We’re Both Under Five Feet Tall (a.k.a. I Need to Give My Children a Chance)11. Stop Asking for So Many Blow Jobs

Tonight I celebrated my two-year anniversary with my boyfriend. I hope I never have to add him to this playlist!

1. How Can You Not Have a Celebrity Crush (or I Notice You're a Hipster)2. I've Considering Ending This3. Don't Tell Me (I'm Not Sad Enough When You Break it Off)4. Why Do My Friends Keep Dating You?5. You're So Much Better Than Existing Guys6. Regretting the Drunken Make-out With You7. Did You Really Just Stalk My Facebook?8. Still Regretting That Drunken Make-out9. You're So Nice (but I Can't Kiss You When I'm Sober)10. You're So Much Better Than Existing Guys (club remix)

Yeah... that covers a lot (but not all) of my past romances =P Glad my current one is looking better. ^^

1. Guys, why do you still talk about him? (or, We were 12 and never spoke)2. Dumping me by Email is not OK3. Your Backwards Cap should have been a Red Flag4. My First Kiss was Gross5. Oh, so this is what Heartbreak Feels Like?6. You dumped me a week before Valentine's Day (at least I hadn't bought you a present)7. Skype is Magical (Why do you Live so Far Away?)

1, If I Fall Down The Stairs You Check If I'm Okay, You Fucker 2. The Four Year Crush3. Ignore Me On My Birthday 4. The Teaching Assistant Blues5. Are You Fucking Insane? 6. You're Flirting With Your Work Friend7. Threatening My Family (Not Hot) 8. You ARE Fucking Insane9. Silence In Subway10. Beautiful Angel Friend (A Song For Hayley)

1. Lip pouts ain't sexy2. No, he's just a friend3. The "should I go to the police?" blues4. What are you doing?5. Your mom loves me more than you do6. The story of two desperate people7. I hate your political views

None of you were really good enough for me: an album.1) Wrong kind of chemistry (we were there for science)2) Kissing when we're drunk isn't enough3) That time you took advantage4) Hahahahaha (you are so gullible)5) It was a very sexy mistake6) So please stop calling me 7) My mum really liked you (I'm sorry you're gay)8) I threw you a birthday party we're not getting married9) It's never going to happen, probably, let it go

1. Really? (We Were 11) 2. You Made Fun of My Accent (And Still I Liked You)3. Really? (Reprise)4. You're A Nerd (A Story of Unrequited Nerdlike)5. Four Mornings And Some Scouring of Facebook (German Edition)5. You're A Nerd - But I No Longer Like You (Reprise)

Fresh Hate for Past Loves1. I Know We Were 12 (But You Could've Dumped Me Yourself)2. You Should've Said No When I Asked You To Dance3. Who The Hell Is She?4. My 8-Year-Old Cousin Is More Mature Than You5. Get Out Of My Life (I Shouldn't Have To Tell You Thrice)6. I'd Like You More If You Liked Me Less7. One Year Later, No More Mature8. We Dated Four Months, You Knew Her Two Days9. Of Course I Stopped Trusting You When You Cheated On Me, Now Stop Flirting With Other Girls10. Guilt Trip Yourself (Right Outta Town)11. It's A Relationship, Not A Contest12. It Wouldn't Kill You To Reciprocate13. Call (Or Text. Or Facebook. Or Email. Or Smoke Signal.) Me Maybe (At Least Once A Month? Is That Too Much To Ask? It's Not Even Long Distance.)

1. Sorry I Punched You In 2nd Grade2. Bathroom Floor Blues3. I Think You Thought You Taught Me Love4. "Ignored By That Guy" Support Society5. Sarcastic Replies (or: How I Thought You Were A Nazi For A Year)6. Felton Fascinations; A Dramione Dream7. Sober Observances, feat. Your Mistakes8. a. Close To Perfection/ Wrong Country b. Also, You're A Brony9. Ode To Netflix10. For The 10th Doctor11. That Look In Your Eyes When I Talk About Leaving

1. Mormons are the Best First Boyfriends2. Get Your Shit Together (But Actually Though)3. My Mom is Your Psychiatrist (One of Many Reasons I Dumped You)4. Sorry I Herniated a Disk in Your Neck But You Still Hurt Me Worse

01) So Naïve (First Boyfriend Blues)02) Too Much We(ird)03) Your One Wish (Is Making Me Throw Up)04) You're Not The Only One That I Know (And The World Does Not Revolve Around You)05 You And Your Parrot (The Ballad Of Your New Girlfriend)06) Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold (You Never Saw It Coming)07) Nothing Compares To John Green (Spending Too Much Time On The Internet)08) E-mail Me Back You Fucker (Time To Relax)09) Being Angry And Not Thrusting Because Of My Past Relationships (Isn't Helping My Current Relationship)10) Ain't Life Fun? (Pretty Deep Mix)11) It's Not You, It Is Me (The Break Up Song)12) I Still Regret Breaking Up With You (But I Won´t Admit That To You)

Look at Me Damnnit! : High School Romance Greatest Hits1. Breaking Up in A Public Place is Hard to Do 2. Yes, Nicking Your Face Before the Dance Was a Sign3. Your First Instincts Were Right4. There's a Reason Why He's So Quiet5. Thanks for the Mix CD6. Should've Trusted Facebook7. She Does Have a Boyfriend, You Know8. Sorry I Drooled on You on the Bus9. Sexting is Fruitless (Remix)10. Of Course You Just Want to Watch a Movie

I don't have any kind of tracks really... Maybe I'll just have a-thankfully old-track called Friendless Fun.But, wow, Is There a Subreddit That Can Teach You Social Skills? is just a fantastic title. As are all the rest.

The EP of Broken Dreams1. I still think about you(and your girlfriend said you liked me)2. Why do you keep arguing when you're always wrong?3. I hate you(only one of the reasons I'm dumping you)4. Don't call me - I don't call you5. Mr Darcy, I've never met anyone like you

1) Why Do You Look Like A Lesbian Now?2) My Father Was Ready To Bring You To The Police3) I Still Have Recurring Dreams About You4) What The Fuck (Was I Thinking)5) What The Fuck (Were You Thinking)6) Please (Don't Do That)7) This Is All Kinds Of Weird 8) Baby, Please (Get Your Shit Together)9) I'm Sorry (I Don't Have A Penis)10) (Jack)Ass(Hole)10) You (Deserve Better)

1. I'm Still Not Sure How Much English You Speak (Eighth Grade Gym Class)2. Seven Weeks Longer Than It Should Have Lasted3. Kind of Like Being Attacked by a Zombie in the Face4. Conversations Should Be Two-Way5. What Do You Mean You Don't Like Harry Potter?

1. Stand as Far Away From Me as Possible, Please2. I Want the Weight of Your Body on Top of Me3. Let's Watch Batman Movies and Kiss4. I'd Rather Watch the Lord of the Rings Movies with You than Batman Movies with Him5. Don't Watch Me If You Won't Talk to Me6. Blue7. I Am Capable of Hurting You8. Don't Mess with a Lioness9. Let's Kiss and Make Everything Complicated

1. You're Were My First Everything2. Don't Feel Me Up When I'm Napping3. There Are Other Restaurants Besides McDonald's4. Seriously, There is Other Food You Could Take me Out For5. Obsessed Much?6. I Will Control Every Aspect of Your Life7. Doorknobs Have Better Personalities 8. Sad Emo Song That Sounds Like Every Other Song circa 20059. No, I will not sleep with you.10. You're sleeping with half the youth group and no one told me11. Fuck you (not literally)12. You make me suicidal 13. Let Me Break Up with You Already14. No, Really I'm Breaking Up with You15. Listen, Fucker, It's Over16. Restraining Order17. Heard You Married a Preachers Daughter

1. That's Rape!2. Stop Trying to Dirty Talk3. Shit Talk Me All You Want (I'll Tell Them You Never Gave Me an Orgasm)4. So Proud of the Girl Who Cheated on You Next5. Stop Forgetting I'm Jewish6. Every Time I Have My Period I Think of You (The Thank God I'm Not Pregnant Song)7. You Have the Personality of a Piece of Wet Cardboard8. You Have Bigger Boobs Than Me9. I Preferred Watching Fish Hooks to Hanging Out With You10. My Diarrhea Smells Better Than Your BO11. Thank You for Dumping Me (No Sarcasm)12. You Were an Amazing Boyfriend and I'm Sorry That Our Lives Went In Different Directions

So these aren't all boyfriends, there's crushes and then some people who I was friends with who had crushes on me and ruined everything with the way they acted. And I suck at short titles.

1. Why Can't The Butterflies Just Die?2. I'm Glad You Never Felt the Same (I Saw You Hit Her)3. Sexual Assault, No Big Deal Right? (You Should Remember, Because I Can't Forget)4a. Why Were You So Different When You Loved Me Too? (I Was In Love With My Friend, Not An Insecure, Clingy Marshmallow)4b. Feelings Kind of Happened (For Your Twin Brother)5. My "Bad Boy": Better Than All the Self-Proclaimed "Nice Guys"6. She Cheated on You (Shall We Call it Karma?)7. I Still Can't Believe You Thanked Me For Making Your Ex Jealous Enough to Take You Back8. You Use "I Love You" Like It's a Synonym For "Lets Have Sex"9. Thank You For Calling Me Lovely, You Were a Good One10. You're a Mysoginistic, Narrow-Minded Jackass (Read: No, Our Constant Arguing Was Not Sexual Tension)

Oh god, why am I doing this?1. Sorry for trying to kiss you during story time. 2.I spent my whole primary school years trying to get you.3.If I had stayed with you, would you not be a druggie now?4.Those 5 years of nothing really lowered my self esteem5.Why did I like you?6.You're really a jerk7.The first day I met you (you were paralytic) 8.We're going well now9.Stop telling me not to itch my foot

Oh I like this game!1) First Dates Dont Count When You Make Out With My (not-so) Best Friend2) No! Means Not Taking My Shirt Off Behind that Department Store3) Dont Diss My Pigtails (Geeky = Sexy)4)I'm Not Your Little Peach, You're Just My Rebound5) I Wish You Were My First of Everything6)Dude, You're 10 Years Older than Me (and Have Been to 5x as Many Proms)7)I'm Never Drinking Again8)You Look Like McLovin' 9)Two Dates Does Not Qualify As a "Relationship" (Dont Call Me "Bitch")10)Grow a Backbone11)Im A Commitmentphobe and You Want a Wife

A playlist for our mutual ex1. No really, he just talks like that2.Falling for my teacher's son3. So does that make me your dirty young secret?4. Dont you lie in Latin5.Im not catholic, get over it.6. Its not illegal in ohio7.So guys are only after one thing after all8.I never cheated (but I think you did)9.180 in 80 min

1. 7 hickeys and the reason I started wearing scarves 2. 20% Pleasure 80% Pity 3. No I don't want to make out in the Borders parking lot. 4. Well at least I discovered an awesome band because of you (an ode to the Mountain Goats)

1. You Built Legos and Stole My Heart2. Burritos and Awkward Banter3. If We Can Land a Man on the Moon, Surely You Can Wear Less Cologne. 4. Thnks Fr Th Face Slobber5. No One Actually Likes Your Spongebob Socks6. The More Hair Bleach, The Better7. A Little Less Brony, a Little More "Normal Human"8. Quite Frankly My Dear, You Smelled Really Bad at Prom9. Yes, That Will Give You Cancer10. No, I Don't Want to Promote Your Music11. An Ode to the State of Being Bros

Hayley, this is an awesome idea. I wrote mine out before reading everyone's, but it's great that we can all share and vent like this. Some of your song titles are really brilliant, guys!! Here's mine (and the quotation marks on track 4 are intentional):

Dating a Writer Means It'll Get Written

1. That's Still Smoke, and You're Still an Idiot2. Pretending This Works Won't Work3. Call My Boyfriend (I Didn't Want To Keep In Touch Anyway)4. "Unattached" (The Silver Tongue Remix)5. Pursuit6. That Was a Long Letter7. Thanks For Stopping By (And Leaving DVDs On My Doorstep)8. M.I.A.9. You're Not So Bad10. Then Again, Maybe That Was Too Fast11. I Couldn't Make You Up (I Wouldn't Do That To Myself)12. After All This Time13. Entemologist (Don't Pin Me Down)14. You're Cold For a Hot Mess15. I Don't Remember Setting My Alarm to This16. How My Standards Were Raised (The Nathan Drake Ballad)

1) You're the Smartest Kid on this Trivia Team2) I Don't Remember Your Name but You're From Southern Indiana!3) My Best Friend Ships Us4) You Love Michael Cera More Than You'll Ever Love Me5) Oh God (Shut Up About Being an Atheist)

1. Go ahead and talk, I'm listening.2. You've said that like five times.3. I'm sorry4. What are you angry about?5. I'm so sorry.6. Are you bringing that up again?7. WHAT!8. Who are you?9. Do you want me to beg? Ok, I'll beg...10. I just wanna watch the game.

1. Mixed Signals2. That One Time You Came On To My Best Friend (Yeah I Still Remember)3. Senior Ball4. We're Just Friends (Not Really)5. Eleanora Homewrecker6. 4 Years of Longing vs. Two Months of Fooling Around7. First Kiss at 188. It's Not My Fault You Didn't Go to College9. That One Sleepover10. You Like My Mom More Than Me11. Now I Know Why Everyone Thinks You're Gay (I'm Done Being Your Beard)

1 That Was A Big Mistake2 It Would Be Oke On Any Other Day (But Not On My Birthday)3 Bruises (Mentally)4 You Asked To Be Written Into One Of My Songs (You Didn't Ask For A Happy One)5 A Cookie Monster T-Shirt (Exclamation Mark, Exclamation Mark, Excalamtion Mark)6 You Warned Me (But I Didn't Thougth You Were Serious)7 As If Scarlett Johansson Would Ever Date Someone Like You8 Valtentines Day Will Forever Remind Me Of You (Not In A Good Way)9 You Only "Loved me" To Get Closer To My Roommate10 Absolutely Cuckoo In Font Of You11 I Could Probably Write A Whole Cd About You (But You Would Like The Attention That It Would Get You)12 A Song About Your Penis (4 Minutes and 5 Seconds Of Silence)13 Relation #13 Seams To be The Lucky Number For Me (Why Did I Ever Call The Other 12 A Relationschip)

I don't have enough creativity to write a bunch of songtitels. So I Made A "Greatest Hits" album of the titels from above that I liked.

01. The untold story of where the fuck you were for nearly four months.02. Your Foreskin03. I slept with a racist.04. Why did you think I would want you to hollow out a tree in the woods to make a boat for me05. If You Call Me "Baby" One More Time, I Will Make It My Personal Mission To Ensure You Will Never Be Able to Make One06. You're Just Like My Dad In All The Bad Ways07. Let's Hook Up While Your Boyfriend Watches (NB: No, I didn't. But they really wanted to.)08. Thanks for the Flowers (and the allergies)00. I Know You Like Zombies, But Please Don't Eat My Face10. My 8-Year-Old Cousin Is More Mature Than You11. Getting Back Toghether? (When Hayley G Hoover Publishes Her First Novel) Feat. Flying Pigs & Freezing Hell12. I Still Have Recurring Dreams About You13. Doorknobs Have Better Personalities14. Every Time I Have My Period I Think of You (The Thank God I'm Not Pregnant Song)15. You Have Bigger Boobs Than Me16. Trumpeter (He's a Player)17. A Song About Your Penis (4 Minutes and 5 Seconds Of Silence)

Sorry to thost who wrote titels that didn't make it into my greatess hits list.

Pretentious Douches, Songs About1. But We Were So Cute2. Thanks For The Music (Not the Memories)3. I've Never Done This Before4. Don't Care (Never Did)5. You're Pretty6. I Like Your Beard (Between My Legs)

Notes from a Broken Heart1. Your OkCupid Profile2. I'm Sorry (or, I Meant Every Word) [this is the girl power song]3. Give Me Back My Stuff4. All of It5. No Really6. I Know You Too Well To Believe That7. You Still Have My Rubber Duck [ballad]8. I'm Pretty Sure (or, You're Gay)

Titled "Oh, so two of my exes are married to my best friends now? Okay."

1. No, it's cool, we can still go on our first date even though you just broke up with me2. Sorry I broke up with you 3 days after your senior prom3. YOU WEREN'T ALLOWED TO DATE???4. Sorry you don't know what you're doing5. WHOA, how about no.6. Ohhhh so you're gay now? That's why it didn't work out.7. Believe it or not, there other things to do than making out during a movie.8. No, changing where we watch the movie doesn't count.9. Kissing should not involve slobber.10. Better luck next time.11. The story of how you said 2 hours was too long distance.12. For 3 months.13. Really? You can't handle that?14. I'm glad you fessed up 3 years later that it wasn't the distance and you were just chicken.

1. You smell good and I like your blue hair2. Firefly and your shoulder3. I've never kissed anyone before4. No, seriously, I've never kissed anyone before and that was weird5. why haven't you called me in two weeks6. what the fuck is going on with you7. if you still like me why aren't we dating8. so do you like me again or what9. YOU ARE A DOUCHE 10. No I don't really want to be friends are you stupid11. That is total bullshit and I hope you know thatHidden Track: PS. Your couch is really fucking ugly

1. Thanks For Making Out With Me When You Had Feelings For Somebody Else2. Hit On My Best Friend (I Don't Like My Self Esteem Anyway)3. Wasted Time4. I'm Not Your Girlfriend5. Narcissistic Tantrums In The Supermarket Aisles Of Your Self-regard ft. Tim Minchin 6. My Excuse Is That I Was Drunk And You Were There

[EP of Apologies] 1. I'm sorry I ran away from you at the park but I was 13 and scared of boys2. I'm sorry I asked you out through a note but you gave me a really shitty birthday card so we're even3. I'm sorry I accidentally threw that copy of Katherines at your balls4. I'm sorry I dumped you after three weeks but you kind of deserved it

{The Past Twelve Months}1. Did you really have to ask me out while I was holding kickboards?2. Barnes & Nobel/Bass Pro Shop3. I don't know if I want to do this anymore4. That one time when you subconscious texted me from the hospital and told me you still had feelings for me5. I don't know if I want to do this anymore (reprise)6. I really didn't want to be able to hear you pee7. I'm pretty sure you don't want to do this anymore8. Did you really have to put posters of your face all over the school?

[Currently: The New Single]1. I find both you and that triceratops that you're making in ceramics class really hot

I love this! Not much experience, but I think I can come up with a few things...

1. Great Kisser (You're Not)2. Consent's Great, But You Don't Need to Ask to Hold My Hand3. I Don't Think We Actually Liked Each Other (Part 1)4. We Just Wanted Someone to Make Out With (Part 2)5. Being a Dick to Get Me to Break Up With You6. It Was Working, But You Got to It First

1. Best Friend's Old Roommate2. You Don't Know You're a Hipster3. Seriously Dude, How Do You Not Know You're a Hipster?4. I Like You A Lot (Despite Your Hipster Qualities)5. Too Bad I'm Moving to France6. Watching Parks & Recreation All Day And Making Out

I guess mine would be only about one guy but this needs more than one song. (Important note, he asked me out, then dragged it out for over a month why he couldn't actually take me out yet, then said it wouldn't work out.) Anyways.

1. That's a really douchey haircut (and your new girlfriend is a total ho-bag.)2. Learn to spell; your IMs made me cringe.3. A nipple piercing, really?

This was actually really fun and hilarious. A good creative outlet break from homework!

1. What do you mean, "You don't like to read"? 2. Broken Feet and the Theater's Back Row3. Seven Months and Not a Single Real Conversation4. What Part of "Happier Without You" Do You Not Understand?5. I'm Sorry to Get Between You and Jesus6. Don't Drop Me Off in Front of My Dorm

Fun fact: Number 6 ended up being the one. We broke up for two weeks after a month or so of dating. Going on 6 years now. Who knew?

You Think I Would Have Learned By Now (EP)1. Helga Pataki Skewed my Childhood Love Life (Sorry for Stalking You)2. Oops, I Meant to Say "Yes" Not "Ew"3. Looking Past the Unibrow4. Bus Stop (3 Year Silence)5. I Believe in Boys Who Believe in Nargles (And Why I Shouldn't Have)6. Your Music is Pretentious, and Other Synonyms7. Early Morning Service (Bus Back Home and Reasons to Say No)

1) Ouch (I Thought We Were Friends)2) Be Honest (You Really Don't Care)3) Yep, I'm Definitely Gay (No Your Church Can't Cure Me)4) It Would've Been Nicer (If You Learned How To Communicate)5) This Is Just A Rebound6) Be Honest (You Just Miss My Boobies 'Cause Your Boyfriend is a Dick)7) At Least You're Not Straight

1. The Only Reason (I Talked to You Was Because You Looked Lonely)2. Serious (When You Said You Wanted to Take Over the World)3. Narcissistic Delusions of Grandeur4. I'm Still Not Interested (After two years)5. Seriously, Get Over Me (I Never Ever Ever Considered Getting Together)6. Stop Hitting On Me (You're Twelve)7. We Are Ravenclaws (But You're a Quasi-Hipster Drug Dealer)8. Also, You Were a Drunk Asshole During Class

These aren't for boyfriends so much as people I've liked.1.) Are toy cars flirtatious when you're six?2.) You moved to Georgia (And that's the end)3.) Thank goodness Barack Obama broke us up4.) Wait, are we still dating?5.) I can't believe you brought your mom to Cracker Barrel with us6.) I only liked you because we were both so miserable7.) In which I cried in the bathroom of a college admissions office8.) It was strictly tumblr love9.) I gave you a Kinderegg and this is what I get?

1. Stop Moaning While We're kissing and Learn How to Kiss. We Went on One Date and You Broke My Heart2. My First Thought of You Was He's A Mouth Breather but Now I'm Attracted to Your Badness3. Your Favourite Memory of us is Farting on me by Accident

1-You're 18, Stop Making Your Friends Do Your Asking (Begging?)2-That's Why I Broke Up With You, Dumbass.3-We're Not Together Because My Best Friend Was More In This Relationship Than Either Of Us.4-3 Days & Dumped Over Facebook5-Stop Trying To Feel Me Up, You're My Best Friend's Boyfriend.6-Lost My Virginity In A Field.7-My Kicking You In the Fork Should Have Been A Clear Enough Message.

(In honour of my best friend)

8-Four Exes (ALL GAY)9-This One Is Going The Same Way10-Stop Telling Me About Your Sex Life (I Really Didn't Need To Know.)

Melodramatic Guy Friend1. Nobody Cares2. Why would you post that on tumblr.3. You're talking to me. Did you break up with your girlfriend?4. Secondhand embarrassment. 5. Donnie Darko was ok6. Sorry I don't like the same bands as you7.( Sorry) Not sorry8. Stop writing song lyrics on your arms9. Actually, lots of people see therapists. 10. Flannel in the summertime

Can't stop laughing at the hilarious song titles from other commenters. Here are mine:

Done Crying Over You debut album by The Hopeless Romantics1. A Bouquet From Your Mom, But No Thanks From You2. If Only You Didn't Spend Your Weekends as a Confederate Soldier3. All We Have is PBS and Les Miserables3. No, My Running Away Didn't Mean Anything (But Of Course It Did)4. The Sexmuffin Song5. What Happens in Berlin Doesn't Stay in Berlin6. Messed Up Make-Out Hair7. You Always Walk Behind Me (Like a Stalker)8. 109 Swears and a Sea Cow9. We Held Hands That One Time But You're Not Into Girls10. Why Did You Invite Me Over If You're Just Going to Play Kingdom Hearts with Your Roommate11. Turtle Boi12. The Ballad of Barney and the Fake Music Librarian13. You Went to South America And Now You're Into Girls Again14. The Jazz Age Difference15. Go Be a Priest Already16. (Hate Who I'd Become) If I Went Out With You

what is my life- WOW ATTENTION (rock version)- your tongue is weird- that's okay (why does your friend have to remind me that we dated for a month 3 years later)- France loving, will never last- First time I fell (hard)- Sex (is'nt for 13 yearolds so stop asking)- WHAT DID I DO? (metal version)- Sorry (that I laughed)- Please, stop fighting with me- I always thought you were cute- I know I'm desperate.- Yes (house version)- hey, this is nice- you're one of the best I had- the first tears- the big adventure- I fell (too soon)- I can't help it I'm so horny (like you care)- YOU CHEATED? (No? okay)- Shall I be the one? (to break up)- YOU CHEATED? (you DICK) (reprise)- Looking back, you were always there.

Selections from: "Dating/Crushing on Assholes in the Suburbs"-"Please remove your face from my face, I hate your guts."-"Baseball is awesome, but can we change the subject?"-"You're taste in music sucks."-"Oh, so you're dating both of us. (But I still like you)"

1. Thanks For The Stolen Ring2. Thanks For The Late Valentine's Card3. Too busy loving fiction 4. Wow, you really are posh twat5. You'll do (I'll fancy you)6. We clicked (but I don't care)7. She was right about your nose8. I didn't turn him gay!9. Pink leg warmers, perfect first date attire10. Your robot voice 11. You're weird12. You're really weird13. This is too weird, fuck off14. Why do you (smell like an old man?)

1. Have you ever even thought of my orgasm?2. Sure, flirt with that girl while I'm standing next to you.3. You can't pretend you don't know anymore (now that I've told you you're a selfish arse in bed).4. "I'm trying" no, you're not, it's really not that hard.5. Five days?!6. Five days?! (Telling me doesn't make you a nice guy).7. I still exist, you know?8. We're in the same classroom, every single day.9. Ignoring me isn't the right thing to do.10. Bringing her to the graduation ceremony isn't either.11. Finally free!12. No, wait, you decided you're doing the same study as me...13. What do you mean, you didn't know I wanted to study this! (I even discussed this with your father!)14. Explaining all my messed up shit to you (I even wrote you a letter).15. Nope, saying 'hi' two times isn't enough.16. I wrote you a freaking letter!17. Back to ignoring the shit out of me.18. Classy.19. Real classy (you know I take medication 'cause of you?)20. You should know, it was in my letter! (Death metal version)

This Is An Album About Womenby Manboy Snark and The Children From Previous Relationships

1. Everybody Hated You But Me2. Are You Really a Girl?3. Who's That Dude (Who Keeps Following You)4. Baby, We Had Sex That Time And Then Everyone Found Out And Took The Piss Out Of Me For Literally Years Afterwards (But Thanks For Telling People I Had Stamina, Not That It's Helped At All)5. Posh Girls - A Lament6. Your Boyfriend Thinks That Martians Built The Moon7. My Accent, Your Insults8. You Love Me Then You Don't Then You Do9. Never A Date After All10. Legitimate Illiterate11. Don't Kick Him Out, We Need The Rent12. No, Don't Be Sick, Don't -- Oh13. The Ballad of Armstrong's Couch14. Prince Edward Bay15. I Don't Want To Know (Who You're Fucking Right Now)

I'm haven't really dated anyone horrible, but I still wanted to give this a try:Why did I trust myself?1. Playback in Boxers (Wow, I'm not gay)2. First Rain in May3. I won't break if you touch me4. Prom Night (The right Flowers)5. Norderney (Instrumental)6. So you like my best Friend?7. Why did I trust myself?8. Please just allow me to tell you I'm sorry (I dumped you)9. I get that you have a Type10. You're 24, stop being so melodramatic!11. But I like your best Friend!12. So you like my best Friend? (relieved remix)13. You should try being nice to me when you're sober, too14. Drooling (Metric class)15. I know all of my Friends rejected you16. Drooling (Seneca)17. Don't touch my Hair!Bonus Tracks for the Eternal Crush:1. Passport in Poland (Straw Man at Night)2. I owe you Apple Pie3. And you're back!4. I only played that Card so I could sit next to him5. Slim Thighs (your new Girlfriend)6. Soccer (your Passion is endearing, but it might just be because of that time you hit me in my Face)

Hormonal Fixation - volume 11. Tequila Lullaby2. I Don't Know Why I Still Miss You (But I Do)3. I Know Your Girlfriend Hates Me (She Sits Behind Me In Math Class)4. On My Aunt's Doorway5. She Cheated On You (And I'm Happy To Know It)6. Please Don't Tell Me About Your Sex Live (It Doesn't Even Involve Me)7. Sweaty, Tormenting Dreams Of You8. I See You Online - The Proud Silence Lament9. That Time We Tried To Steal A Boat10. I Kissed A Girl (And I Didn't Particularly Enjoyed It)11. Ashtray and Sangria12. It Was Just An Awkward Dance13. Too Bad You're Gay

1. Please remove your tongue from behind my teeth2. You’re hot but I hate the way you talk3. I’m not your booty call4. I’m not drunk enough for this5. I’m not sober enough for this6. I regret paying for your drink7. Your shirt is ugly8. You’re nice but a terrible kisser9. You’re too short10. I shouldn’t have to tell you 4 times that I don’t like you; I don’t care what your friends say!11. You’re creepy and I’m not giving you my email address12. You did NOT just grab my card from my bra!13. I like you, you like me, you have a girlfriend14. I love you but you think of me as your younger sister15. I changed my mind

1. Your Family is Psycho Now2. If I Were My Parents then 201 Phone Codes Would Freak Me Out, Too3. You Cheated On Me With a Target Employee 4. I Can't Believe I Gave You a Blow Job in Public 5. You Liked Me, I Didn't Like You, I Liked You, You Didn't Like Me6. If Only You Weren't (So Clingy) 7. We Used To Flirt, But Your Lips are Weird8. I Liked You, But You Were Gay (Like Actually Gay)9. Remember That One Time Your Little Brother Walked In On Us11. If Only You Weren't (So Clingy) pt. 212. Small Penises and Other Regrets13. My Favorite Kiss, My Favorite Weekend (Was It The Alcohol?)14. I'm Not Crazy, You're Crazy For Not Being Crazy About Me15. I Literally Don't Understand Tonight16. Why Does This Always Happen When We're Drunk

1) I know we're both awkward, but we should date. 2)I put your hand on my boob- You freak out and we're going too fast.3) Nevermind, stop pawing at my chest4) Seriously, this is uncomfortable.5) Kissing should never include licking the side of my face.6) Please stop trying to hold my hand- I'm trying to watch Harry Potter.7) It's too bad my ex had more dick in his personality than in his pants.8) That picture you just liked is three months old- Please stop facebook stalking me.9) I'd rather be single

Nope. Volume 11.My Midsummer night's dream2.spring fling, summertime3.fucking make up your mind4.I love you, wait, no.5.every Kate Nash song ever6.I'm not in Scotland, but you're still the fooled one7.hideous haircut8."You're nice""You're spoiled""You're hot"?9.Increasing over time10.decreasing over control issues11.call me when you've outgrown those diapers (wait, you don't have my number)12.no facebook stalking, just dreams of dancingsuper secret hidden bonus tracks13.girl right next to you (Taylor Swift-girl at home cover)14.unrequited, year 415.how to say "Your new girlfriend is awesome" without sounding sarcastic16.I'm on your side, not in your bed17.Mr.Tilney

...I noticed you mention "Wishbone"--and in a video on YouTube--'90s Nickelodeon. How much do you miss the '90s? ...just curious, if it's okay to ask.

How do you feel about the '90s Kid controversy? IE, "you're only a '90s kid IF you were born in the '80s and NOT the '90s"...... Personally, I no longer have a stance. My pea-sized ego doesn't like being stepped on, so I'm going to remain indifferent and stay in whatever generation box everyone else sticks me in.

1. "Wanted to Be Your VP"2. "The Lead in the Musical (Ended Up Being a CONSERVATIVE!)"3. "¿Cómo te llamas? (Spanish Class Remix)"4. "Being Liberal Doesn't Make You Open-Minded" 5. "Giggity"6. "Better Bisexual"

Louisville Cardinals vs Baltimore Ravens jerseys. Oregon Ducks: Most Surprising Stats from Sweet 16 Clash | Bleacher ReportAs expected, the top overall seed in the 2013 NCAA tournament, Louisville disposed of the Cinderella Oregon Ducks in the Sweet 16 on Friday night. But the game was not without its fair share of surprisingly statistics.Although the scoreboard will show that the Cardinals won their 13th straight game, the box score tells a somewhat surprising tale about how Oregon was able to test Louisville like very few other teams have this season, especially over the past six weeks.Here we'll recap some of the most surprising stats from Friday's Sweet 16 matchup in Indianapolis.Ducks Win Rebounding, Turnover and Assist BattleOregon forward Arsalan Kazemi reeled in a game-high 12 rebounds Chicago Bears jerseys.Jamie Rhodes-USA TODAY SportsIt's rare that a team forces more turnovers than Louisville, but that's what happened on Friday night in Indianapolis, as Oregon won three big statistical battles only to lose the game.The Ducks finished plus-1 on the boards, plus-1 in the turnover battle and plus-2 in assists but minus-8 on the scoreboard. The biggest difference in Friday's game came at the foul line, where Louisville was plus-7, drawing 22 fouls and 26 free throws over the course of 40 minutes.Still, it's crazy to think that 12th-seeded Oregon was able to top Louisville in all three of those categories.After all, the Cardinals were a combined plus-12 on the glass, plus-19 in the turnover department and plus-17 in assists through their first two tournament games coming into Friday's Sweet 16 tilt.Peyton Siva Scores Fewer Than Five Points for Eighth Time This SeasonPeyton Siva's 19 minutes on Friday were the fewest he's played in a game this season.Streeter Lecka/Getty ImagesLouisville senior guard Peyton Siva is only averaging 9.7 points per game this season, but it's still shocking whenever he fails to reach the five-point mark in a game, especially a big one like Friday's against Oregon Dallas Cowboys jerseys.Siva played a season-low 19 minutes on Friday because of foul trouble, and finished with just four points on 1-of-5 shooting from the field.Friday's lackluster performance marked the eighth time this season that Siva has scored fewer than five points in a game NFL shirts. Luckily for Siva and the Cardinals, his fellow backcourt mate Russ Smith poured in 31 to make up for his off night.Oregon Becomes First Team in Two Months to Outscore Louisville in Second HalfStreeter Lecka/Getty ImagesPrior to Friday's matchup with Oregon, Louisville had outscored 15 consecutive opponents in the second half, winning 14 of those games.But despite trailing by 14 points at halftime, the Ducks rallied in the second half, outscoring Louisville 38-32 to become the first team since Pitt on Jan. 28 to score more second-half points than the Cardinals.Oregon won't be content that it's headed home after three games, but the Pac-12 champions can at least take some pride in the fact that they were able to do what very few other teams in college basketball have been able to lately—push Louisville and only lose by single digits San Francisco 49ers jerseys.Coming into Friday, only two of Louisville's previous 12 opponents had come within single digits.Link toPrintable PDF Link toLive Bracket Follow all the exciting NCAA tournament action withMarch Madness LiveFollow Bleacher Report Featured Columnist Patrick Clarke on Twitter.

1. Too Soon And Too Real2. The Overly Attached Mom3. The One That Got Lonely (With Hundreds of Girls Around)4. The Best Moments We Never Had5. Baby Love (Not Cute Anymore)6. I Told That I Love You7. Your Reply Was "Really?"8. I Know You Don't Love Me, I Know You Don't Care9. Just Shout Whenever, I Won't Be There10. I'm Ashamed Of All Of You (And Myself)11. I Liked That You Liked Me12. The Amount Of Dirt On Your Floor.. All I Can Say Is Eh Eh13. Ozzie Opposite