Given that we are now about half way through January, it is about time to post our Xmas day gaddings about. As Japan doesnt shut itself down for Xmas, I forwent my usual fizzy wine breakfast and jitensha’d my way into downtown Machida for a Nihongo lesson in the morning. In fact, I didnt touch any squiffy juice until after the sun departed these shores. Fortunately, being winter, that was before 5pm.

Our first port of call was Jiyugaoka. In the name of information sharing, I can tell you that Jiyogaoka was voted Tokyo’s most desirable neighbourhood, or, if you would prefer, “the most want-to-live city in Japan”, in 2008 (now get this!) by residents! Given that it is a totemo takai area to live, even by Tokyo standards, it is probably not surprising that the residents didnt vote it “most sucky suck of all sucks” or anything along those unfavourable lines. And it is very nice. I would live there. Sadly, I may never be that full of yen.

I still hadnt had any cake for Xmas (not that awful Brit style fruit rubbish – any cake goes here – Im partial to chocolate with whiskey…) and when Xmas day finished, still hadnt. I seem to have recovered quite well, all things considered. I really wanted to alter on the sign in the shop so it read “Sweet – Christmas”, but the missus is trying to keep my acts of public vandalism to a minimum. Next time maybe.

What a bitchin’ name for a hair salon! No time for an Eyelush treatment.

As I am a quick adaptor, it only took me about two hours to not have a funny turn each time a train rushed overhead. Others did seem more at ease.

Like this guy.

Hello Kitty! Ok – sorry about that. This was so cool – this area was seriously loud, & busy, with trains roaring past about a metre away from Felix here, but he (or she) wasnt bothered – more intent on giving PhotoOpportunity Boy the evils. In hindsight Puss was quite likely profoundly deaf. Urban Grittiness!

To quote the illuminated sign: “The way that a ball this store. Love a ball is, this store. Love a ball is, ORIENTAL PASSAGE”. So now you know.

If you consider the location, the street value of this tag is probably quite high. And that is an utterly nonsensical statement made because I’d posted a few too many photos without a caption. Check out how clean the area below is. Not even a cigarette butt, which is pretty flash given the amount of fag puffery going on in this land.

Lincoln Continental perchance?

To pilot a barge this size around streets this narrow you’d probably need some sort of guide boat. Later I even saw a Hummer H1, but was too appalled to take a photo. I mean really. The ridiculus girth of the Lincoln is more acceptable due to it being the automotive eqivalent of a porno soundtrack. A Hummer H1 is more of a Kid Rock ballad about an attractive teenaged cousin. Not that Im suggesting that Kid Rock has recorded such a ballad, simply trying to paint a picture, you understand. Word.

After such unholy musings, I figured that we needed a shrine. This was directly around the corner from the Lincoln. Ahhh… contrasts…

Apparently Top Gear has a retail outlet here, selling used watches. Who knew?

I cant confirm that the lower one on the left is Richard Hammond’s tag, but lets just assume that it is.

I saw these lighters and thought to myself “Surely not…”…

Surely does! Feel the heat from my twin nostril fires! Can you do any less? I havent uttered this is a blog before, but, Radness.

This place was cool’n all, but probably needed more bikes…

Watch out Xmas tree! There’s bamboo behind you!

Eventually the sun said “Screw you hippies!” and sodded off to China. And beyond. Cor blimey – theres another train.

And another.

This one was quite high & next to a skateshop, so must be Jeremy Clarkson’s tag.

Im not sure if this is a sign, or a statue, or a sculpture or whatever else, but when we first saw it, the boob thing on top was red. We waited for several minutes for it to turn red again, but nope.

So had to settle for blue, which was a poor substitute, but places to go, wine to drink…

This here crafty shopkeep had managed to trap a Microbus. Almost better than a Jeremy Clarkson tag.

‘Lil Bow Wow here had been howling up a storm and attracting quite a crowd, but as soon as I whipped out me pointy shooter, found something of great interest in the gutter. Meh.

We did go into Chanel. I think they were jealous of my Bad Brains t shirt.

Ha ha! Seahorse knobs!

This cool roof garden was part of a restaurant aimed at people far richer than us. I took special care not to fall in the pond.

Several other people chose to take the same train as we did. I guess they were all pleased that I hadnt fallen in the pond.

We found this at the Australian themed restaurant at Gland Belly that we stopped at for a beer on the way home. We were punished for visiting an Ocker caff by having to wait 20 minutes for a seat at the bar(!), then ended up with a booth. The waitress had heard me say “Sweet as”, so asked me where I was from. Turns out she had spent six months in Carterton on a school exchange. We both agreed that the stay was about 5 and a half months too long.