Hosting Your Own Orgy – Part 3

Discussion (32) ¬

Bonerkiller is not a single word. And even if it you void that rule, a hand of Scrabble tiles is only seven. And even if you jumped on someone else’s word, you’d hit a score-booster in a chain of eleven letters, it’s impossible to score 17 points for that.

I am of course assuming a standard-issue Scrabble board and lack of custom rules regarding hand size. Working nights, I haven’t had the chance to play Scrabble in person in ages, but nobody I have ever played Scrabble with would accept ‘boner’ as a word, let alone ‘bonerkiller’.

The primary reason nobody I have ever played Scrabble with would accept ‘boner’ is an almost religious refusal to taint family-friendly word games with inappropriate concepts. Assuming I could convince them to void that rule, the sheer informality of the word ‘bonerkiller’ (Google Chrome and Microsoft Office both give me red underlines) means that I would have a hell of a time getting them to accept it.

You can see why I haven’t gone out of my way to arrange a game in so long.

Boner: n. [Slang], a stupid or silly blunder -SYN. see error. It’s in the dictionary, therefore by the rules of Scrabble it can be played. However Bonerkiller is not so therefore it is not a legitimate word and cannot be played. However if I was playing against Adam I would allow it due to the fact that he is sleep deprived by his child and probably needs the win.

I’ve been in enough comments sections to know that an argument can arise about things that are only tangentially related. I’m currently in a youtube argument with someone over the meaning of theory (scientific that is).

Speaking as a family friend of seceral couples whose activity I can account for personally, both the action (and getting thereof) and orgy participation of a married man is EXTREMELY variable from husband to husband, even assuming a 100% faithfulness rating* and the presence of children.

*Self-inflicted ‘meditation’ (#GoGetARoomie) does not affect faithfulness rating for the purposes of my analysis.

Does the type of boardgame determine how badly I’ve failed at my orgy? I mean scrabble is one thing. But what if they break out Monopoly or Catan? If somebody suggests Dungeons and Dragons should I just send everybody home?

Have you actually seen Eyes Wide Shut? Whatever you do, don’t invite the disgruntled piano player to your orgy! I was so distracted by the elbow mashing on the keyboard that I kept missing what was on screen!

You’re actually better off going the other way: start with board games going on upstairs, and then people can go to the dungeon or whatever downstairs if they feel like it. It gives people something else to do if they’re not feeling it, and gives people a chance to hang out a little to get an idea of if they WANT to do anything with each other.

<– a person who actually has gone to an orgy and never bothered to go to the orgy because I was too into playing board games… pretty sure that's among the more pathetic things I've ever admitted… no, wait, the worse one was when a bunch of friends of mine started playing bridge IN the orgy room, and then everybody started watching THEM, because, well, after a certain point, bridge is kind of more interesting than watching people do stuff that you've seen before… I wasn't there for that, but I heard about it.

So, yeah. In short, START with Scrabble and see if an orgy breaks out, rather than starting with an orgy and seeing if a Scrabble game breaks out. Less disappointment either way.