In these quiet news days of mid February, let us turn to the sagacious dismembered voice of the Green Line Trolley with "Important questions as the Mayan long count calendar speeds towards its denouement...…"

I feel like a damn old ass woman saying things like this-but seriously, what the holy fuck is wrong with young girls these days?

And I so call 'shopped on that SI cover. Because although the old school 70s style tanglewood bush has gone out of fashion, it doesn't alter fucking anatomy! Where is that girl's mons pubis? REDACTED- I just checked and apparently that is one of those things you can now get reduced...

Bob and PSP have the first box covered. Pseudo certainly has more to offer on the second. Yeah, um, so that Lin fellow. Had quite a couple weeks playing for the Knicks, huh? I understand he went to school in Boston, yes?

I am being told on a daily basis that I should care about Jeremy Lin since my alma mater, good story, NY rulez, blah blah blah, but seriously the NBA is, to me, so catastrophically bor- zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Jeremy Lin is actually the real thing. He led my local high school, Palo Alto High, to an unprecedented state title his senior year, then helped Harvard resuscitate its basketball program. He's just had to find his niche in the NBA, and, I guess, he's found it!