Alberta Wildrose, PC parties merge into single oil company

CALGARY – AlbertaWildrose and Progressive Conservative Party members have voted 95 per cent in favour of ratifying the agreement to join forces to create a dominant right-wing international oil consortium.

“It is time to put an end to Rachel Notley’s regime,” said PC party leader Jason Kenney. “Albertans need a party that will reduce regulations and support businesses, like our new company that can frack oil better than everyone else!”

Many PC members were initially hesitant to support the merger, but eventually had to reconcile with the fact that their once dominant organization took a hit in 2015 with the drop of world market prices and was having difficulty making its message profitable.

The United Conservative Oil & Gas Co. plans to hold a leadership race as soon as it is able to get pump #3 up and running. But already former Wildrose leader Brian Jean has told reporters that he will be running for C.E.O.

“Our new entity needs someone with vision, determination, and detailed knowledge of the Asian natural gas market. I believe that person is me.”

Despite the merger, it remains to be seen whether the Conservatives will be able to defeat the NDP organic baking co-op in next year’s election.