Turning off the Tap of Life

HARRISBURG, Pennsylvania (AP) -- A state appeals court ruled that a verbal agreement between a woman and her sperm donor was invalid, and ordered the man to pay child support for the woman's twins.

The three-judge panel ruled Thursday that the deal between Joel McKiernan and Ivonne Ferguson -- in which McKiernan donated his sperm and would not be obligated to pay any support -- was unenforceable because of "legal, equitable and moral principles."

Despite an agreement that appeared to be a binding contract, the father is obligated to provide financial support, the court decided.

Fueled by hysteria over legal liability, this court's decision will seriously constrict the available supply of Grade A donor sperm. With the growing lesbian and infertile couples market demand is not looking to level off for some time. Additionally, with a serious lack of willing donors the market price of sperm is forcasted to quadruple in the foreseeable future. Our educated guess is this decision could propel the sperm futures market to levels never before seen. Take this opportunity to reserve your supply of frozen semen at current market prices. Call 1-800 540-5623 to caputure a share of this amazing financial opportunity.

Right now thousands of guys *no not me... are running to the sperm banks asking to make a final withdraw and close there accounts.

"A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong, gives it a superficial appearance of being right, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defense of custom. Time makes more converts than reason." - Thomas Paine Common Sense.

Would this be a good time to make lots of jokes about sperm banks?.......
- Personally, I prefer making deposits to withdrawls
- does anyone else seem to have difficulty locating the night deposit box?
- I don't mind making deposits as long as there is sufficient interest paid

People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor