Names You Will NEVER Give Your Children

Whether it is family, friends, work, Facebook etc....do you have "What were they thinking" moments when you see/hear/read the names given to newborns? I saw the name Sammsyn for a boy and wondered at the spelling more than the name. At least he can be "Sam."

Unusual or even weird names don't bother me nearly so much as ridiculous spellings of fairly common names, especially when they include an apostrophe. My niece had a student a couple of years ago whose name was Desti'knee. That's Destiny to you and me.

Heard someone calling her daughters "chiffon" and "chevette" in a restaurant yesterday. Did a bit of a double take. Especially at "chevette". Those were crappy little cars.

And I once heard a woman calling a toddler "mylanta" in a grocery store line. I wanted to ask if "pepcid" and "rolaids" were at home.

Of course, having taught for 16 years, I encountered some crazy names there, too. A girl named "Sunny Dawn" because that was the time and weather when she was born...I never asked if there was a contingency plan to prevent her from being called "afternoon blizzard" or some such thing. There was a family where all the kids had the middle name Daniel for the dad and were called by both first and middle name. Including the girls. That seemed awkward and just a tad egotistical on his part. None were named for mom. I taught a girl named "Echo". A boy named Hank Williams who had a sister named JoBeth. A boy named "kodi" who was waiting to turn 18 and change the spelling that made people think he was a girl. It was bestowed on him by a mother who was disappointed to have her fourth boy.

And I once heard a woman calling a toddler "mylanta" in a grocery store line. I wanted to ask if "pepcid" and "rolaids" were at home.

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that is too awful and funny.

I actually grew up with a girl who had a very difficult to pronounce Asian name that usually got rendered to "chiffon" (it started with an X). Eventually she started just telling people "you pronounce it like the fabric" because it was better than the other butcherings she got!

I have a friend whose little brother is named Ariel because his big sister (my friend) was obsessed with the Little Mermaid when he was born At least it is an accepted boys' name in some cultures...

All of the above! I wouldn't do any seasons, days of the week or dorky soap opera names. Or if you have several kids, they end up being Trip, Tre, Torc and Tru. I once saw an Ugly Betty episode where they were spoofing "Tom, Katie and Baby Suri". It turned into, Tim, Carrie and Baby Chutney. I spluttered my tea! And I named my Maine Coon cat Chutney as a result. It suits him. All of these names seem to be much better for pets I think.

Yeah, I've met a La-a too. It baffles me that that must mean that someone heard of someone named La-a and thought, "that's so awesome!" And more than one person, at that...

These are less inflammatory and are actual names, but I hate the names Myrtle, Ethel, and Mildred. I just see a short 80-year-old woman with white hair when I read or hear them and I would never name a child any of those names. I feel similarly about Dolores, but I would also see the Harry Potter character

And then there are pretty names that I could never use. I knew a Peyton once and every person around my parent's age would get a funny look on their face and start talking about how they could never name a child Peyton because of Peyton's Place. Which I haven't seen, so I don't get the reasoning behind it, but I've heard it so many times that I now have it firmly in my mind that I should never name a child Peyton Lolita is a beautiful name that I would never feel comfortable using, though I wish it didn't have that connotation.

When I was announcing at a competiton we had one of the out-of-state skaters' mothers come storming up to us demanding to WATCH me write out how to say her daughter's name phonetically. "I won't have her embarassed by you saying her name wrong!"

The girl's name was said "Dee-ah-na." The spelling on our skater listing, the spelling of the name, was Dijianah. My immediate thought was "If you didn't want it mispronounced, why not spell it properly in the first place?!"

I think the name is Nevaeh, which is heaven spelled backwards. Of course some people can't spell and don't know better, like Oprah was from the bilblical name Orpah. I've seen a Disteny (ouch), Serinety (double ouch).

As for old lady names, I don't think some are ever coming back. My grandmother's name was Myrtle and even then she and everyone else didn't like it. Edna, Agnes, Gertrude, etc are never going to come back.

La-A? How in the world? I could understand if it was spelled La..a (la dots a). I've seen an Aquanetta.

I would never name my kids Karen, Susan or Debbie. Not because there is something wrong with those names, but EVERY girl in my school seemed to have those names. So (a) they seem overdone and (b) I have traumatic encounters with girls who had each of those names.

I also swore I would never give my kid a middle name of Ann or Lynn because everyone seemed to have those names as middle names. But then I married into a family who had a tradition of giving all the girls middle names of Ann in honor of my MIL's mother. And the day I found out I was pregnant with Mini-Mac, my friend Lynn died. So I was torn. We actually contemplated naming her Lynn Ann - double whammy! But Mr. Mac didn't like that and had no trouble breaking the family tradition so she was saved from that fate.

When I was announcing at a competiton we had one of the out-of-state skaters' mothers come storming up to us demanding to WATCH me write out how to say her daughter's name phonetically. "I won't have her embarassed by you saying her name wrong!"

The girl's name was said "Dee-ah-na." The spelling on our skater listing, the spelling of the name, was Dijianah. My immediate thought was "If you didn't want it mispronounced, why not spell it properly in the first place?!"

La-a. Pronounced Ladasha. Really. The mother was upset with the school staff for not being able to pronounce it.

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Unless someone has met an actual La-a in person, I am inclined to believe that it's an urban legend (though Snopes lists it as undetermined).

I've seen some good ones on STFU Parents, like this - but beware the link to Vadgesty Foxi Maiden and Vagena Tamphen Pohtaytar, it is NSFW (or for anything else, for that matter).

And yes, the creative spelling trend is really stupid and has already been done better. Luckily in Hebrew we don't have vowels, so parents really can't do too much damage; the trend I really dislike here is giving kids non-Hebrew names. It's one thing to name them something that works in Israel and outside it (e.g. Daniel, Maya), but there are way too many Liams and Shawns for my liking.

I would never name my kids Karen, Susan or Debbie. Not because there is something wrong with those names, but EVERY girl in my school seemed to have those names. So (a) they seem overdone and (b) I have traumatic encounters with girls who had each of those names.

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Funny, Karen is one of my favorite names, probably because I had two very close childhood friends with that name. It appeals to me also because it does not end with an "a" or have a nickname with "ie".

I second, third and fourth that one!! Gawd it is so pretentious and the people who I know at work who have used it act like they were the ones who thought it up and no one else is named that. Never never never never never!!

If ever needed, I plan to stick with simple basic names! My only problem is I hate so many beyotch's in my life I could never name my child the name of a girl (or guy) I hated. Jennifer, while a normal simple name, would never be used by me for that reason.

As for old lady names, I don't think some are ever coming back. My grandmother's name was Myrtle and even then she and everyone else didn't like it. Edna, Agnes, Gertrude, etc are never going to come back.