Perfect Endings And Poems That Don't Rhyme

“I wanted a perfect ending.
Now I've learned the hard way that some poems don't rhyme,
and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, nor end.
Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment
and making the most of it, without knowing what's to happen next."

Reading this made me think back on my own life experiences and endings.

I think we all in one way or another idealize about a perfect experience, whether it has to do with a relationship, job, or personal goal. And as Radner shared, I don’t think stories always have a clear beginning, middle, nor end because they haven’t been lived yet, they have only been anticipated.

How many times have you said to yourself, “Wow…this didn’t end up like I thought it would?”

And I don’t necessarily mean experiences we didn’t like, but also the ones that delightfully surprised us because they ended up being something far better than we thought perfect.

Personally, I think I sometimes project onto an experience by either how I want it to be, or by how past experiences have influenced me, fearing that it might end up the same way. And in either case, it sets me up for disappointment because every experience and ending will be different.

And there are some experiences I don't have control over, other than how I perceive them.

Again, as Radner shared, it’s taking the moments as they come and being adaptable to change; not knowing what’s going to happen next.

I think each experience is what I make of it and what I learn. And not only the endings, but also the beginnings and the middles.

So in a way, all of my experiences have the ability to be perfect.

And they might not rhyme, but then again, all poems are not meant to rhyme.

46 comments

'Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the most of it, without knowing what's to happen next.'

How true that is, and what a fantastic post this is. Good morning, Ron. Yes, I really liked this post yet I am one who likes poetry to mean something. I like the rhyme and when it breaks away and becomes disjointed I feel uneasy and quickly lose concentration. I like patterns that gel, especially in poems. Discordant notes make me uneasy. And yet... I see life as an ever-moving, ever-changing experience which doesn't help when I read certain so-called poetry. I suppose I yearn for smooth-flowing rather than the jerky breaks of some poems yet in real life I like to think I never know what's round the corner.

Ron, what a great post! I love the quotes by Gilda Radner. She was not only a very funny lady (SNL) but also very wise. I read her book many years ago and it was wonderful.

"I don’t think stories always have a clear beginning, middle, nor end because they haven’t been lived yet, they have only been anticipated." That is so true. We often anticipate an experience by projecting how we think it should be and then when it doesn't pan out that way we are disappointed. As you said, sometimes we don't have control over the outcome, but we do have control over how we perceive them and what we learned. Perfect is what we make of it.

I love everything about this. I too often try to anticipate how thing are going to end up and I set myself up for dissapointment this way far too often. Sometimes the best things to happen are the unexpected. Nothing goes the way we plan it so we might as well let it happen. More often than not things end up exactly the way they are meant to be.

" Discordant notes make me uneasy. And yet... I see life as an ever-moving, ever-changing experience which doesn't help when I read certain so-called poetry. I suppose I yearn for smooth-flowing rather than the jerky breaks of some poems yet in real life I like to think I never know what's round the corner"

Loved that! Because you shared here is exactly what I think the quote means in that all poems don't rhyme. Like life, things don't always go smoothly (rhyme) and we don't always know what's round the corner. So, yes, you're absolutely right. Sometimes life rhymes yet, sometimes it doesn't. And it can make us feel uncomfortable.

"I waste a lot of energy worrying about things I have no control over."

Yes, I have done the same thing. Yet, when I finally accept them, my perception changes and I learn how move through them easier.

"I like a happy ending to a book, where all the loose ends are tied up, and everything makes sense. But that's not life! We have to accept that reality and keep moving."

Amen! I just recently rewatched the movie, "The Breakup", and it's a story that doesn't have a happy ending where they get back together again as you think they will, which I thought was very realistic because that's life. It's does always turn out the way you think it will.

"Sometimes the best things to happen are the unexpected. Nothing goes the way we plan it so we might as well let it happen. More often than not things end up exactly the way they are meant to be."

Shae, I loved that! You're right, nothing goes the way we plan it. But it's those UNplanned things that usually end up the way they are MEANT to be. And for me, that's when I've learned the most - from the unexpected.

Ron, my girlfriend and I were discussing this topic over the weekend so I think your timing is perfect. I can sometimes be very driven and have tunnel vision when it comes to goals, which can often lead me to feeling frustrated and disappointed when they don't manifest the way I planned or in the time I think they should. And I think it's because, as you said, I project too much on every detail instead of taking the moments as they come. I'm learning that not every goal has a direct path and that leaving myself open to changing directions will sometimes be a much better route TO my goal.

What an interesting way to start off my week, Ron -- having to THINK, ha! Seriously, this post *did* make me think. Life is about not knowing. I think that's probably God's mercy because how horrible would it be to know things won't always end the way we want them to?? Maybe that's why fiction is so necessary, to give us a chance to see a "perfect" beginning, middle, and ending play out in a character's life -- and probably why stories that don't have a clear beginning, middle, and ending are so unsatisfactory??

I loved your feedback on this topic because you brought up such a great point about "knowing" that certain things won't always end up the we wanted them to. Because then we would already know and perhaps not even try.

" Maybe that's why fiction is so necessary, to give us a chance to see a "perfect" beginning, middle, and ending play out in a character's life -- and probably why stories that don't have a clear beginning, middle, and ending are so unsatisfactory??"

Another good point! And also perhaps that fiction is what gives us the "ideal" of a perfect ending, so we compare it.

Much thanks for stopping by,dear friend. Have a terrific Monday and week!

Excellent points. It really is about the journey more than the destination, huh? Heady stuff for a Monday morning. I remember when I was younger, poetry that didn't rhyme drove me batty. I was very much a "There once was a man from Nantucket" kind of guy, but thankfully, those days are over.

It's good for me to move into my day with limited expectations (WPIML told me "expectations are resentments in the making") and a clear whiteboard to write my JOYS down on. My vision gets "corrected" with that prescription, yaknow?

Ms. Radner was an experiential learner, much like myself. She had to wade through some muck and mire and discover it really wasn't all that we whined about it to be. There are worse things....and go figure we'd discover it was a most amazing experience, even (and especially) the messy bits. Not knowing is so much cooler than having that crystal ball I'd always yearned for. There is so much more joy in discovery than there is in predictable outcomes. And who decides what's predictable, anyway. Gimme the unpredictable and let me celebrate the discoveries, yaknow?I've never been a fan of poetry....too many rules to adhere to, I failed miserably at staying inside of those lines.Oh but I do admire those who rise to the challenge and make it work. I, myself, prefer the poetry in life that has its own rythm and knows no rules.

Lovely 'thoughts' you opened up today....ones that put a smile on my face that only 'living it' can do.

"(WPIML told me "expectations are resentments in the making") and a clear whiteboard to write my JOYS down on. My vision gets "corrected" with that prescription, yaknow?

What WISE advice from WPIML because it's so true! And yes, I also think it's very important to be aware of the JOYS in our life.

".and go figure we'd discover it was a most amazing experience, even (and especially) the messy bits. Not knowing is so much cooler than having that crystal ball I'd always yearned for. There is so much more joy in discovery than there is in predictable outcomes. And who decides what's predictable, anyway. Gimme the unpredictable and let me celebrate the discoveries, yaknow?"

Yes, and I think it's within the messy bits where we discover the most amazing experiences. And I agree with you, not knowing is MUCH cooler than having a crystal ball. There have been times after an experience when I thought to myself, " Thank god I DIDN'T know because it would have made it much more challenging to KNOW.

"Oh but I do admire those who rise to the challenge and make it work. I, myself, prefer the poetry in life that has its own rythm and knows no rules."

Me as well! I actually prefer poems NOT to rhyme. Kind of like life.

Much thanks for stopping by and sharing on this post topic, dear lady. Have a fantabulous week!

Great post, Ron! Another one of those inspiring topics that made me think and feel.

"Personally, I think I sometimes project onto an experience by either how I want it to be, or by how past experiences have influenced me, fearing that it might end up the same way. And in either case, it sets me up for disappointment because every experience and ending will be different." I've done the same thing, many times. As one of your other readers said, whenever I've gone into a situation with expectations, I am often disappointed. Yet when I go in with acceptance, I come out content because through acceptance, I am always reminded how important the journey is.

"And they might not rhyme, but then again, all poems are not meant to rhyme."

Love this! Pretty much NOTHING in my life has turned out like I expected it to. And that's okay. My motto (printed on the footer photo of my blog) is "Life is weird and unpredictable, but often in a good way." Not that I don't occasionally pitch a fit when things aren't going the way I want them, too, but when I relax and let go of the need for control, I can find meaning in everything that does happen.

Hey Ron, I loved this post and quoting Gilda Radner works for me too, I always liked her a lot.

“Wow…this didn’t end up like I thought it would?” I can't count the times I have said that, and realizing that we can't control our experiences, but can control how we adapt to the changes, life is good and how we adapt to change helps shape the middles and ends.

Ron, tears have welled up in the beauty of the post. It's amazing how each life touches another; be it simply, be it profoundly. Thank you. And how I loved Gilda Radner. Her creativity, faith, and family must have helped her so during her battle with cancer. I remember those days. I remember the first SNL season with her in it. A film she was in with her husband, Gene Wilder, "The Woman in Red", in which she plays his spinster-like love interest, she was very ill then. Yet, hilarious. I am so deeply honored, Ron, you have shared my humble poem in the same breath with Gilda. :))

Gilda Radner was a very smart woman. Wouldn't it be wonderful if everything was tied up in a tidy little bow?? But, NO, that is not the way life is...certainly not my life...perhaps someone's!! I get upset when the movie ends and I don't know what happens!! Have a great day Ron...xo Jeanne

Ha! I never even noticed that. And it 's funny mentioned the time change because it has fogged over my brain too. I know we GAIN an hour but for some reason it takes me awhile to adjust. I find that the time change makes me feel tired.

'I can't count the times I have said that, and realizing that we can't control our experiences, but can control how we adapt to the changes, life is good and how we adapt to change helps shape the middles and ends."

Brilliant! And I know you TOTALLY understand that because you've been through a lot of sudden changes in your life yet, you've adapted to them with such grace and faith. You ROCK, buddy!

" Wouldn't it be wonderful if everything was tied up in a tidy little bow?? But, NO, that is not the way life is...certainly not my life...perhaps someone's!!"

Yes, you're right...that's not always the way life is. We may have times when things are smooth and going well, however, I think we learn the most when have to adjust and make the most of those times that are not.

And I thank YOU, Petra, because your post really inspired me to share this one.

(((((((( You ))))))))

"I remember those days. I remember the first SNL season with her in it. A film she was in with her husband, Gene Wilder, "The Woman in Red", in which she plays his spinster-like love interest, she was very ill then. Yet, hilarious."

I think the first season (and cast) was the best on SNL. So many of those brilliant actors (John Belushi, Gilda Radner, Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Chevy Chase) went on to do other things. And yes, I've seen "The Woman in Red" and loved it. She and Gene Wilder made such a great comedic couple. And it saddened me deeply when Gilda passed away because I know how much she and Wilder loved each other.

Gilda Radner was amazing. Her story breaks my heart. I am in LOVE with Gene Wilder... and what a crazy couple they made. He loved her with all his heart and visa versa. I remember hearing an interview with him a few years after she died. One of the things they asked was, "What is your least favorite word." His answer was "cancer."