It's
more than a year now that I havne't written anything. Well you know
I had highs and lows as anyone else. My grand mother died about a
year day per day, my mom had a cerebral attack... hey, life is a bitch.
New boyfriend, almost new life, or it would seem. I don't really know.
All I know is that I went and smell closer the gothic scene of Paris
and it stinks strongly. Yeah I know it just sounds like that same
old song doesn't it
I do really miss my old friends online. I haven't had anything as
strong for few yeards now. it seems like messengers have killed any
chance of meeting people online anymore, or just the fact that there
are more people online make more chances to meet idiots.

2
november 2003

I
went to visit some guy who I met online last week, which just made
me feel to tribute to all of those I have met before, so here it is
for you:Alatoria,
Harkon/Cloaked Death, Shadow Crow, AntiKquity, Death Assassin, Lord
Ryal, Dream Weaver, Cloaked Figure, ArmandXTC/HRoth~gar, Lady Lockeout,
Billy, Kafka, RC, Discorporation, Kaily, And of course ShadowmageIX.

6
october 2003

Well
this isn't like the best period for me to write anything, but hey,
that's how life goes.

At
the beginning of July, my boyfriend and I split up, after 4 years.
It's hard, because we were sharing a lot, and because there is no
real reason for it
it is just life stepping between us.

At
the very end of August, my cousin died, on the 23 of august to be
precise.
Each day I think about her and her three kids and husband, and it
brings tears to my eyes
What to say? there isn't much to say, except that I hold her dearly
in my heart.

And
once more life should go on, but it doesn't, for now, life stands
still for me as non running water, it darkens. But at the end there
is still hope, and I would even say, that's all remains... as for
the rest, I'll let my graphics talk for me.

22
june 2003

For
once I come with good news. Two months ago, I received a mailto ask me to give up on my rights for one of my graphics.
It's about the "Running out of time" one, and they wanted
to use it
for a school book. So, of course I gave them the right to use it,
and yesterday, I received the book published, with my name and
my graphic: this is my first publication and it feels great!Thank you Alma!

12
septembre 2001

Yesterday,
4 planes been used as weapon on USA.
The Wold Trade Center been totally reduced to ashes,
the pentagone been hit too.

It
would be really sad if American thought they were all alone
in that tragedy. More than Americans, it's the whole capitalist world
and so the whole occidental world that's been attacked.

And
aside the political side,
I feel hurt as humain seeing other human being suffering.

Deep
inside I have always fought the idea that humans
were born violent.

Today,
I just give up on hopes to live in peace anymore.
I'll just have to learn to live with the idea, that everyday
may be the last, for me, for the ones I love.

18
July 2001

Last
saturday, we went to a goth party, in the caves of a castle.
Oh nothing exceptional really, it was raining and it was almost flooded.
Oh hell, we were all the big black spot of the city.

I
have never claimed to be goth, I just use to dress in black, and people
put the name "gothic" on me, so i tried...
I tried to be one of them, to go to goth party, I have always been
attracted by
the idea of death, morbid stuff.

So
anyway, I was just wondering...
What so goth about chicks running around in leather underwear?
I mean... does that mean prostitutes are goth? or the other way around?
I'm not conformist, I just wonder what motivates teen girls to go
to parties half naked?!
Am I shocked? [laughs] hell no, amused, more likely
and a bit disapointed...

I
think that a the end, goth parties are just an excuse for big carnaval.
I think that's just plain hypocrite, and there is nothing anticomformist
in there, there are just people dressing in black, all together and
then they feel better
but as they are so afraid of being anonymous, they just try to "shine"
by other ways
and make a difference by trying to shock.

It's
just sad... I dress in black, yet I'm not goth, I'm just me and it's
fine as that.