8:00 pm ($5): A sketch show about time travel and unfortunate mistakes: Swartzlander: Unstuck; and in the other half of this double-bill, improvised comedy from Andrew Cornelius and Andrew Fafoutakis, who call themselves The Andrew Sisters

[TOP PICK] [FREE] 8:30 pm: Music from the unforgettable dark comedy group The Cowmen and more at The Creek downstairs lounge in Queens’ Long Island City hosted by Murderfist’s Holden McNeely & Ed Larson: Stage Fright

[FREE] 9:00 pm: Sketch at The Creek upstairs theatre in Queens’ Long Island City from a comedy troupe consisting of Sean O’Connor, Nick Maritato, Danny Solomon, Robert Dean and Neal Stastny: Meatsteak

11:00 pm ($5): “Michael Martin dared Alan Starzinski to bake a pie with him, naked. Alan said sure, if Michael could get 100 people to ‘like’ it on Facebook. Now, 100 likes later, they are going to do a musical improv show for you, naked, in aprons, and serve you the pie they made. One time only. Starzinski/Martin:” Nakey Bake 2011

7:00 pm ($5): Best friends Kathy Salerno (storyteller at Risk!) and Emily Altman (sketch comic forOnassis) form a sketch comedy duo directed by a friend of mine, the forever young and sexy Amanda Duarte: Total Sweethearts

[$] 8:00 pm, 10:30 pm, and 12:30 am ($27.25 & 2-drink min.) A comic who’s performed a Comedy Central Presents special and is a cast member of Ugly Americans, and has also appeared on Last Comic Standing, Showtime, and VH1, headlining tonight at the Carolines Comedy Club: Kurt Metzger

[TOP PICK] 9:00 pm ($10): One of the gutsiest and most hilarious troupes in comedy history—with honors including being Cage Match Champion for three years in a row, and winning the 2011 ECNY Award for Best Improv Group—genius improvisors Death by Roo Roo

9:00 pm & 11:00 pm (FREE TICKETS if you reserve in advance by calling (212) 260-2445 and mention HyReviews.com, but there’s still a 2-drink min. per person): Gary Gulman (Last Comic Standing, Tourgasm, Comedy Central hour-long special), Eliot Chang, Tony Woods, Andrew Schulz, and more performing at the only comedy club in the East Village: Eastville Comedy Club’s A-List

[TOP PICK] 10:30 pm ($10): An all-star improv troupe led by brilliant UCBT artistic director Anthony King interviews an audience member about where he or she grew up and then creates an entire show based on the mini-bio: The Curfew: Not From Around Here

[TOP PICK] Midnight ($5): “Thin Skin Jonny. They had it all. They were icons, legends, anti-folk superstars. However, tragedy struck and they broke up, citing an alleged statutory charge, gay porn addiction, and Four Loko abuse. Now, two months later, they’re back to do one last show—a benefit! Can they find a way to get along long enough to raise the money needed to re-animate the corpse of Bea Arthur? Maybe, with your help!” Performers include Ari Scott, with direction from Pam Murphy: Thin Skin Jonny: Farewell Reunion Tour

[FREE] Midnight: A weekly chance for you to shine, as students and veteran improvisors share the stage to form “rare and wonderful one-night-only teams,” with sign-up starting at 11:30 pm: Magnet Mixer

Tonight’s recommendations for the best in New York City comedy (in chronological order, with top picks noted and shows over $10 marked with $) include:

[FREE] 6:00 pm: An open-mic show on a lottery system (sign-ups start at 5:30 pm) at The Creekupstairs theatre in Queens’ Long Island City with hosts Mike Recine and Annie Lederman: The Shinebox

[TOP PICK] 7:00 pm: “What if the two worst actors on the planet taught a workshop? And what if they were totally fucking crazy? Join Livia Scott as Collette Priester, ‘The Empress Of Dinner Theater,’ and Sean Crespo as Rodney DeGiles, ‘A younger, sexier Gary Oldman with more range,’ as they take you through a free audit of The Gold Star Acting Workshop. Prepare to be traumatized and like it:” Raging Triumph

[TOP PICK] 7:30 pm ($7): Ace storyteller Adam Wade (two-time Moth GrandSlam Storytelling Champion (2006 & 2009) and record-breaking 17-time StorySlam Champion; The New York Times Magazine; host of hilarious monthly storytelling extravaganzas Real Tales of College and The Adam Wade show; for Adam’s award-winning tale of being an NBC page on Conan O’Brien, please click here) hosts this new show gathering together other top storytellers, who tonight are Jim O’Grady, Ed Gavagan, Brad Lawrence, and Peter Aguero performing at The Magnet: Super Stories

[TOP PICK] 7:30 pm ($10): Young Abbi Jacobson (Broad City) has the makings of a new UCBT star performing a one-woman show in which she engagingly plays a variety of oddball characters you might encounter at summer camp—and if you haven’t seen this yet, don’t miss it, because this performance concludes Abbi’s run: Welcome to Camp!; plus in the other half of this double-bill, the appealing Veronica Osorio makes her first attempt to fly solo by performing as five gals who win a chance to be The First Woman on the Moon

[TOP PICK] [$] [DISCOUNTED] 8:00 pm ($20 online using discount code BBOX1): One of the very best shows at FringeNYC 2010 was an award-winning comedy from NYC’s own Faye Lane, a luminous storyteller and singer who will charm your socks off—and possibly give you a moon pie to boot—at the Soho Playhouse’s downstairs Huron Club. This marvelous event recently received a 2011 Bistro Award for Musical Comedy and 2011 MAC Award for Special Production. Please read my review by clicking here, watch Faye make a pecan pie by clicking here, and then take advantage of this revival running Friday nights to experience the hilarious and unforgettable Faye Lane’s Beauty Shop Stories

8:00 pm ($10): An improv troupe making up a musical on the spot after a friendly greeting: Hello

[$] 8:00 pm ($27.25 & 2-drink min.) A comic who’s performed on HBO’s Def Comedy Jam and Bad Boys of Comedy, Showtime at Harlem, BET’s ComicView, and the feature film Next Fridayheadlining tonight at the Carolines Comedy Club: Michael Blackson

[FREE] 8:00 pm: An open-mic show that’s first come, first serve (sign-ups start at 7:30 pm), with each comic getting five minutes on stage at The Creek downstairs lounge in Queens’ Long Island City: Mic and Cheese

[TOP PICK] 9:00 pm ($10): Some of the finest improv in NYC from the comedy genius members of The Stepfathers

9:00 pm ($7): “In March of 2009 a gaggle of performers were born. Some died, some wandered off into the woods, others went to work in the private sector. Those that remained grew strong by feeding on the nectar of specific choices and the gruel of strong character work. The 2-year-old terror that exists today is akin to watching a Tsunami of hair and teeth attack a baby Blue Whale and destroy it with the will of a thousand hungry Burnese Mountain Dogs. What does it all mean? We don’t know.” In other words, improv from Chet Watkins

[TOP PICK] 10:00 pm ($7): Singing improvisors, including such world-class performers as the breathtakingly talented Tara Copeland, using an interview with an audience member to craft The Made-Up Musical

[$] 10:30 pm ($27.25 & 2-drink min.) A comic who’s performed a Comedy Central Presents special and is a cast member of Ugly Americans, and has also appeared on Last Comic Standing, Showtime, and VH1, headlining tonight and Saturday at the Carolines Comedy Club: Kurt Metzger

11:00 pm ($5): “Where there is a stage and a piano, she will be there. Where there are strangers with embarrassing stories, she will be there. Where there is a group of people willing to sit and watch someone make up songs, she will be there. A one-woman musical improv journey through the lives of the audience. You tell the story, Rebecca Vigil sings the soundtrack:” The Vigilante

11:30 pm ($5): An unusual mix of burlesque dancing and improv “in the daring and campy world of three struggling burlesque beauties on the stage and in the dressing room of Larry Lazlo’s Lamplighter Lounge, where “silly, sexy, and titillating fun awaits you:” Go Kitty: A Burlesque Improv Revue

[TOP PICK] 8:00 pm ($7): Some of the Magnet Theatre’s finest improvisors make up theatrical plays on the spot: Playhouse

8:00 pm ($5): Seth Kirschner (30 Rock, Lipstick Jungle) plays every character in a half-hour one-man TV episode parodying 90s sitcoms—and is debuting a new episode tonight—in Sertainly Seth; and in the other half of this double-bill, Paul Welsh performs a one-man show about a hall of portraits in Men in Paintings

8:00 pm ($5): “Best friends Dave Ahdoot and Ethan Fixell created an internet phenomenon by challenging pairs of women to double date them, and documenting the hilarious results for YouTubers everywhere. Two hundred dates later, their experiences were translated into reenactments, educational songs, and valuable lessons in everything from dancing to kissing. Tonight, these “dating experts” will improvise demonstrations inspired by audience participation, in an attempt to enlighten on the art of romance…and perhaps do a little bit of matchmaking along the way:” Dave and Ethan: Dating Coaches

[TOP PICK] 9:30 pm ($5): The Emmy-winning writers of The Colbert Report gather on stage to perform an all-improvised show at Seize the Mustard

9:30 pm ($5): Improvisors (not announced) make up one-act plays on the spot at The PIT’s basement lounger for The Scene

[TOP PICK] 11:00 pm ($5): The highly talented Fran Gillespie, who came in as a solo improvisor, made the odd choice of requesting an audience member who had zero improv experience to come on stage and perform with her for her entire set—and then periodically scolded her new partner for making choices counter to improv rules that Fran explicitly requested the audience member not know… Spectacular musical improv troupe Diamond Lion (which includes improv genius Tara Copeland) ended up garnering nearly twice as many audience votes—and will be a champion that all subsequent opponents will find hard to beat. Tonight DL goes up against new UCBT Harold Night house troupe Mr. Crime, competing for audience laughs and votes at the raucous Cage Match

11:00 pm ($5): NYC stand-ups (not announced) performing at The PIT for this comedy club-style (i.e., long set) weekly show hosted by Harrison Greenbaum: The Big One

8:00 pm ($5—which includes a free beer!): NYC comics (lineup not annouced) performing at The Creek upstairs theatre in Queens’ Long Island City hosted by Nick Turner: Monsters

[MEGA-TOP PICK] 9:30 pm ($5): Scott Adsit (cast member of 30 Rock, and co-writer/director/producer & cast member of Adult Swim’s awesome & Emmy-winning Moral Orel) teaming up with fellow 30 Rock actor John Lutz (who previously spent six years as a staff writer forSaturday Night Live) to form a super-smart and hilarious star improv duo who should not be missed: John & Scott

[FREE] 10:00 pm: Short videos from NYC comics (lineup not announced) at The Creek downstairs lounge in Queens’ Long Island City with host Nick Turner: Free Comedy

[TOP PICK] [FREE] 11:00 pm: Host Justin Purnell (The Colbert Report) providing as many as a dozen guests packed into 75 minutes performing stand-up, improv, sketch, and occasionally acts that defy categorization. The level of talent can vary wildly, but for some (like me), that’s part of the laid-back fun; and this is often one of the most amazing comedy shows in town. Come support the experimentation, and periodic magical surprises, that this uniquely organic rollercoaster of a show makes possible—and don’t forget to toss $1 in the bucket on your way out: School Night

[FREE] 11:00 pm: Open-mic stand-up running until 1:00 am, with time divided evenly between performers (up to five minutes), at The Creek downstairs lounge in Queens’ Long Island City with host Rob Stern: Bucket ‘O Buckets

[TOP PICK] 8:00 pm ($10): Jennifer Dziura, who hosts Brooklyn’s Spelling Bee and writes women’s blog TheGrindstone.com, debuts a one-woman show about women through the ages, from Eve to Oprah: The History of Women in 60 Minutes

8:00 pm to Midnight ($5): Four full hours of improv for only five bucks—tonight featuring UCBT house troupes Airwolf, Mr. Crime, Grandma’s Ashes, Sandino, American Cousinl, and at 11:00 pm advanced UCBT students acting weird—all at Harold Night

8:30 pm ($5): In this double-bill, each of two of The Magnet’s singing improv troupes will make up a musical on the spot based on an audience suggestion: Rebound and BEEES!

[TOP PICK] 9:00 pm ($5): Andy Blitz (comedy genius best known for being an Emmy-nominated and long-time writer/performer for Late Night with Conan O’Brien; has also written for Comedy Central’s Important Things, MTV’s Human Giant, etc.; a thoroughly unique stand-up whose sets—ranging from talking peanut butter to jet-flying cats—tend to be unforgettable), Christian Finnegan (co-star of TBS’ Are We There Yet?; three Comedy Central specials; MSNBC, VH1’s Best Week Ever, Chappelle’s Show, The Today Show), Jane Borden (treasured Comedy Editor of Time Out New York, author of I Totally Meant to Do That), James Adomian (talented impressionist; finalist on last summer’s Last Comic Standing), and more performing at Ella (9 Avenue A) hosted by Seth Herzog (Jimmy Fallon, VH1): Sweet

9:30 pm ($8): Two one-woman shows from Peter Michael Marino’s Flying Solo class: “Becky Flaum thinks she’s Julia Roberts. And Sandra Bullock, Meg Ryan, Drew Barrymore, even Katherine Heigel. But she isn’t. Her high cinematic hopes for her love life start to get in the way of reality on her quest for the perfect co-star” in Hopeless Romantic Comedy; and “What is success and what is failure? A tale of a girl growing up, figuring out what is important to her and learning that she can have her cake and eat it too!” in One Fat Step at a Time

[FREE] 10:15 pm: In this free show, audience members can join in with veteran musical improv talents to make up stories in song on the spot: Musical Magnet Mixer

[FREE] 11:00 pm: A breathtaking 40 comics are given 2 minutes each in this rapid-fire open-mic stand-up show hosted with wit and energy by Jay Welch: Bring It

Two of the greatest stand-ups in comedy history, John Oliver and Anthony Jeselnik, tonight at Whiplash

Tonight’s recommendations for the best in New York City comedy (in chronological order, with top picks noted and shows over $10 marked with $) include:

[FREE] 6:00 pm: An open-mic stand-up show running about 90 minutes at The Creek in Queens’ Long Island City with host Chris Gaynor: Open Mic Mondays

7:00 pm ($5): Joe Moses became a YouTube star with A Very Potter Musical. In this show, he uses sketch, improv, and music to “share his unique perspective on what it’s like to be a young artist in NYC, and an online celebrity:” The Joe Moses One Man Showses

7:00 pm & 9:30 pm (no cover, 1-item min.): The perfect show for short attention spans—open-mic stand-up with 4½ minutes per set and 25 comics crammed into 2½ hours—with an early show hosted by Sean Donnelly & Blaine Perry at 7:00 pm, and an entirely different group of stand-ups hosted by Dan Cartwright & Dave Greek at 9:30 pm—at the Luca Lounge (222 Avenue B off 14th Street) for John Morrison’s Motel Luca

[TOP PICK] 8:00 pm ($6.50 online or $8 at the door): Baron Vaughn (star of USA’s Fairly Legal, co-star of USA’s Facing Kate and Comedy Central’s The Awkward Comedy Show, MTV, VH1), Eric Ledgin (writer for Jimmy Fallon), Kate Beaton (stellar cartoonist: Hark! A Vagrant), and as house band the super-amazing Adira Amram and the Experience (winner of the 2011 ECNY Award for Best Musical Act), performing at Brooklyn’s Littlefield (622 Degraw Street) with sketches and more from a duo who between them won four 2011 ECNY Awards—including Best Variety Show and Best Hosts—Kristen Schaal and Kurt Braunohler: Hot Tub Variety

[TOP PICK] 8:00 pm ($10): My #1 pick for the 2007 FringeNYC Festival, this wonderful group of actresses/improvisors portray characters as if they were in a play, but improvise everything they say and do. The luminous performers include Katharine Heller, Brenna Palughi, Lynne Rosenberg, Lauren Seikaly, and Molly Knefel, each of whom is immensely appealing and quick-witted. Further, they have an intimate, lovely chemistry with each other; and they’ve all committed to baring their personal lives, thinly disguised via their characters (hence the title’s Naked). As a result, this is one of the most honest & nuanced improvised shows you’ll ever see. This show was previously a wonderful theatrical event that cost $18 and up. Don’t miss this five-week Monday evening run, concluding August 15th, at the elegant Cherry Lane Theatre (38 Commerce Street, near the #1 subway’s Christopher Street stop) that allows you to catch the gals for a mere $10: Naked in a Fishbowl

[TOP PICK] 8:00 pm ($5): “Jonathan Blank and Samara Doucette say what everyone else thinks on dates, but never says… so join them and guest comedians as they divulge all of their wildest and most embarrassing dating stories! This monthly storytelling show contains the truth and nothing but the truth. However, most of the stories are more surreal than if David Lynch directed romantic comedies. Everything from wild hookups to emotional breakups are on the table:” This is Awkward

10:00 pm ($5): Improv is dominated by guys, so this is a rare treat—a dozen female improvisors “for an evening of comedy that will delight men, women, babies, and kittens,” hosted by Megan Gray: We Might Just Kiss