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A pro wrestling counterfactual: What if the World Wrestling Federation was organized around workrate, around the idea that the pivotal word in the phrase "sports entertainment" is the first? Can one Ricky Steamboat pinfall put right what once went wrong?
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Triple H, October 2011:

“When I grew up, I hated Hogan. I thought he was terrible and didn’t like to watch him. I was like Punk in a way. I liked the Steamboats and Flairs and the ones that could go. Would I be right in saying that Hogan was the wrong guy to go with, and they should’ve changed directions and gone with Steamboat because he was the better wrestler? Ludicrous.” - Triple H. October, 2011.

Show opens with the TitanTrust, Dean, Arn, Fit; AA thanks people for coming, says XXI will be in LA, thanks the fans for their support, and says he and the rest of the Titan Trust hope they enjoy what they hope will be the greatest night of professional wrestling of all time.

They are interrupted by…Sable.

Sable?

Yeah, Sable. I don’t know who Sable is in this world, obviously, she never wrestled, and never appeared at all at one of my PPVs, but she exists, and they used her at XX, so, let’s assume she was Mero’s valet, stuck around as someone’s valet, and somehow winds up here, still employed, and she just happens to be Brock’s girlfriend. And she’s been in the “we hate wrestling” program that Brock and Goldberg (who the fans recognize are legit done after Mania) are running.

She cuts a promo about how her boyfriend Brock is about to become a WWF legend, and then the two of them will go to the NFL where they know how to treat people of their talents. And, since they’ll be with the Minnesota Vikings, they’ll be going to the playoffs every year, unlike the Jets or Giants.

Enter…Fatu.

Fatu?

Yeah, Fatu. ‘Cause it’s Wrestlemania XX, and you know how I am about tradition.

Clip Package: Open the clip package with Andre’s four legend’s wins, over young Sammartino, then Bruno, then Harley Race, and finally over Hogan. Hogan wins the next three, over the Warrior, then Dusty, then teaming with Snuka to beat the Warrior and Slaughter, also at WM 7, the Undertaker picks up the first of his 5 wins, over Jake. Hogan gets his final win over Jake at 8, then loses to Backlund at 9. We see Savage’s last WWF match, ten years ago, over Crush. Undertaker beating Lawrence Taylor. Jake Roberts pinning his former tag partner, Roddy Piper. Then the run of the Undertaker: he beats Simmons and Ahmed, then Kane. then Rock goes over the dead man at XVII. Flair beats the returning Hogan at XVIII. Piper turns on Hogan at XIX, allowing the win for Dead Men Walking and for Undertaker to get the tiebreaking 5th win– and Rock goes over Austin with the Rock Bottom as the package ends.)

1. Legends Weapons Match: Mick Foley/Rock d. Brock Lesnar/Bill Goldberg (Austin – referee)
Austin’s the referee, consider there are only 7 triple crown winners ever, Pedro/Bret/Owen obviously gone, so only four who could conceivably be in the ring together. Here are two, Foley and Austin. Add in that they had the longtime feud, that Foley beat Austin in the loser leaves town, that Foley went back to talk Austin into coming back to stop the Alliance, and that Austin/Rock met just last year at Mania, and we have extra juice to this match.

Crowd all knows that Goldberg and Lesnar are leaving, announce acknowledges that, and sells the idea that they might behave unpredictably – who knows what they might do?

Faces clean, obviously, Foley pins Goldberg while Rock Bottom on Lesnar It’s Rock’s 3rd legends win, which they can also sell, as that gets him closer to Andre and Hogan for second. There's tables and barbed wire and Foley and Rock have to hurt Lesnar and Goldberg as much as they'll let themselves be hurt - Austin's in the ring to act as an extra body for the babyfaces in case the heels go into business for themselves. Should be blood and fire and broken things.

2. Tables Match: RVD (w/ Paul E) d. Matt Hardy (w/Bischoff)
Crowd largely pro Van Dam, as it’s in ECW territory. We go spot-tastic, each guy puts the other through a table, but Van Dam is able to get Bischoff through the second table, frogsplashing through Eric and the table, for the feud ending win. Matt and Bischoff argue post-match - which ends with Matt putting Bischoff through a second table and leaving him laying. That wraps up Eric and earns Matt some babyface points.

People give the ECDub pop for Van Dam – Heyman moves to the announce for the rest of the show.

3. Hell in a Cell: Y2J d. Christian
Each man wearing some type of old Hart/Clique gear, they do the Shamrock/Foley top of the cage spot early, teasing the big bump, but no one takes it yet. They brawl heavy back in the cage – Christian exacting revenge for the Trish piledriver, Jericho exacting revenge, well, for Stacy, cause that's what motivates him. Plus we have all the Hart/Clique baggage, and we get a couple of spots – Jericho does one of Owen’s stiff legged dropkicks, Christian hits Jericho with a Razor fallaway slam. Trish, with the cervical collar, enters, opening the cage at a juncture when Christian needs help.

Jericho chases her, she climbs up the cage and Jericho chases her, while Christian chases him. All three going to the top of the cage as the fans grow anticipatory. We tease Trish getting tossed over by Jericho, but Christian is there to grab her….

…and then Trish kicks Christian in the head (Clique Kick) allowing Jericho to throw him from the top of the cage, through the announce table. You understand the spot. Christian's gotta take the full on Foley bump - he would, I'm guessing, given the circumstances.

Crowd pops accordingly. Jericho grabs Trish by the hair roughly and kisses her hard. Trish then grabs Jericho by the hair roughly and kisses him hard.

They stand on top of the cage, making out and laughing as Christian gets attended to on the outside.

Trish has become the first ever person to defect from Clique to Harts. This is the new package, Jericho and Trish, with the idea being they are tempestuous, they slap each other around and then make out, I assume they’ll cheat on each other for sport. They’re deliberately cruel to each other. It’s an unhealthy heel union.

Anyway, Jericho and Trish descend, Jericho pushing away the officials who are tending to Christian so he can drag him to the ring for his pinfall. Jericho pins him with one finger.

Jericho takes off his Hart Foundation #7 hockey jersey and places it over Christian’s face as he exits.

4. Rey d. Ultimo d. Tajiri
They push Rey hard, he first eliminates Tajiri with the hurricanrana roll up, then does the same thing to Ultimo. It’s all about the workrate. Ultimo attacks Tajiri outside the ring postmatch, putting the boots to him, save by Jimmy Yang. Yang combination kicks Ultimo down, then does Yang Time to the floor to wipe Ultimo out, and wrap him up. Rey takes the pop as Yang aids Tajiri from the ring. Big workrate match.

5. Falls Count Anywhere: HBK d. HHH
They pull all they have for the Mania spot and it winds up being a great match, one assumes. Everyone bleeds, they fight all over the building, in the back, in the crowd, on the announce tables. Michaels goes over with the elbowdrop.

HHH attacks Michaels with the sledgehammer postmatch, breaking his arm as he broke Spanky’s. That leads to the London run in, London gets in a spot – but HHH attacks him with the sledgehammer as well.

HHH is about to break his arm…when Edge, GOOD GOD, GOOD GOD (you know, like that, 'cause Edge has been gone a year and a half) Edge races down the aisle and puts it to HHH. Edge is all over Helmsley, when Jericho runs in to attack. Jericho puts the boots to Edge, as HHH beats down London. Jericho takes advantage, putting Edge in the Liontamer. Jericho refuses to give up the hold as Edge taps the mat…

….and here comes Christian. GOOD GOD! GOOD GOD! HE'S ALIVE!!!

Christian's bloody and battered and broken - but he shows the fighting spirit and levels all the heels, saving his brother, and the two of them, with the rising London, clear the ring. Edge/Christian/London are able to run HHH and Jericho from the ring, they aid Michaels back to his feet, his arm broken, Michaels wincing in pain, climbs back to his feet. Michaels pauses to accept the face pop, looks at the three men, the returning Edge, the young London, the newly minted hero Christian – and Michaels extends his good hand in the sign of the Clique. The three other men meet him in mid ring, the crowd popping as we see a new Clique here at WM XX. ‘Cause, you know, it’s all beginning again.

(Tag highlight package: Tito and Beefcake taking from the Sheik and Nikolai, then the Hart Foundation, taking the straps and then keeping against the Rougeaus at III. The Rougeaus are champs at IV, and keep over Strike Force. The Brainbusters go over the Rockers in a sweetass match at V, the unlikely combo of Marty and Rude go over Piper and Jake at VI, the Road Warriors go over Demolition, Money Inc keeps the belts over the reunited Strike Force at VIII. Money Inc’s on the other side at IX, losing to the debuting Steiners. Luger and Bigelow, doing the double monster thing, take at X from the Quebecers. XI is Billy and Bart, taking from Davey Boy and Backlund. Austin and Dustin keep at XII over Candido and Vega. Davey Boy is back, keeping the belts with Owen at XIII, three separate partners, three separate tag title wins at Mania. Billy Gunn and the Road Dogg, as the JV, take from the hardcore legends, Cactus Jack and Terry Funk at XIV. The Hardy Boys win at XV over Rock and DLo, then win again in TLC 1 the following year. At XVII, it’s the Dudleys winning a four way, finishing off Raven and Tommy. Jericho and Storm, in Toronto, keep in a three way at XVIII, and last year, it was Michaels and HHH, Diesel in their corner, going over Haas and Benjamin.)

6. Tags: Flair/Leviathan d. Haas and Benjamin
And now, Haas and Benjamin are losing the straps again. Flair gives all he has, H and B are good workers, and they use Leviathan judiciously. Flair gets the figure four submission win on Haas, it’s Flair’s first WWF tag title, his first WWF belt in over a decade, and he and Leviathan, Woooooo!, celebrate up the aisle.

(The IC is coming up next…Piper wins at I, in the dog collar match over the Hammer, he drops a year later, to heel Randy with Elizabeth. Savage keeps the strap at III over Jake, and his 2 year run finally ends a year later, as he loses to Bret. Rude and Hennig go heel/heel at V, and VI is the first Mania title match pitting Bret and Shawn. Bret’s still running at VII, when he keeps over Tenryu. VIII is Randy regaining over Piper. IX is Michaels, keeping over the soon to depart Hennig. X of course, is the ladder match, and Razor also wins at XI over Owen. Vader keeps over the Dead Man at XII, but can’t recapture the belt a year later against Cactus Jack. When Shamrock won’t release his arm breaker on Austin, he loses the match but keeps the strap by DQ, and at XV, it is the improbable Al Snow, taking the title from Austin in Philly. Eddy takes from Jericho at XVI, and Austin from Regal at XVII. Austin tries, but fails, to regain the title from RVD the next year, and last year it was Little Rey, keeping over Chavo.)

7. Worldwide: Ladder Match: Eddy Guerrero d. Chavo Guerrero
A year later, Chavo enters as the Champion, but leaves emptyhanded. Flair and Leviathan, with their new tag straps, enter at one point – but Eddy fends them off. They do both ladder spots that reference Shawn/Razor and Bret/Owen spots, since this program is referencing that one.

It’s a 2 out of 3 belt ladder match, just like the last one we got. Chavo gets the first belt – Eddy the next two for the win and the switch.

And now your main event. Heyman says he’s going to the back to celebrate with RVD - Malenko comes to the announce to replace him.

(Steamboat kept at I over Windham, and then came his legendary trilogy with Dynamite, just recalled on the TV special – Dynamite wins at II, Steamboat at III in the greatest match in the history of North America, and then Dynamite wins the loser leaves town at IV. Savage keeps the strap at V over Bret, but loses to Perfect, both at VI and at VII. Bret goes on the monster main event run starting at VIII, he takes from Flair, keeps against Razor, obviously drops to Owen at X, beats Shawn at XI, and loses to Shawn in the Iron Man at XII. XIII is Bret’s last Mania, where he drops to Austin. XIV was the end of Shawn’s first career, he failed to take from Owen. Cactus Jack took from Owen, however, at XV, but then lost the following year to Benoit. XVII was the first Angle/Benoit, and Angle has won ever since, keeping from the returning Hennig, and then hanging on to beat Brock at XIX.)

8. Undisputed Championship: Chris Benoit d. Kurt Angle
I don’t know if Angle has it in him for a five star match, but whatever he has, he’s gonna give the company here. It’s vicious Benoit against the playful heel Angle – but eventually, Benoit pummels the mirth clean out of Angle, and by midmatch they are just throwing it down after each other as if every second was the last in their lives. ‘Cause it’s XX – and even the new Kurt Angle, when he finds himself in the middle of a fight to the death with the greatest wrestler who ever lived – in the biggest show of all time – even the new Kurt Angle is right there in the moment with the Crippler – Benoit with multiple suplexes – Angle with multiple suplexes – Benoit with an Angle Slam – Angle with the top rope headbutt – Angle with the crossface – Benoit with the ankle lock.

Benoit takes the Undisputed Championship, his second WWF Title. Crowd pops as needed. Angle just goes limp in the ring as if he’s been shot. Kurt Angle has been pinned for the first time in his life. Kurt Angle entered the WWF 5 years ago – and his undefeated streak has ended.

Angle, dazed, rolls from the ring and exits. Eddy enters, with his IC belt, and we replay the greatest real world moment in wrestling history, Eddy and Benoit, each with their championship belts, hugging and crying at the end of Wrestlemania XX, this time with Dean Malenko on the announce, as the show, and the first 20 years, ends.

Summer Slam is, eventually, coming from Toronto. You know, Canada.

It’s an even year, which means the battle royal….except it doesn’t.
Angle opens the RAW after XX, comes to the ring, says there’s not going to be a number one contenders batte royale, not a chance, because the number one contender is Kurt Angle, Kurt Angle will always be the number one contender, even when Kurt Angle regains his Undisputed Championship at Summer Slam, Kurt Angle will still be the number one contender. Then he just says his name over and over and over again.

Enter Arn Anderson and Dean Malenko, representing the TitanTrust. They tell Angle that the Number One Contender’s Battle Royal is a WWF Tradition. The night after Wrestlemania, the top 30 men in the WWF wrestle for the headlining spot at Summer Slam. It happens every other year because that’s how special it is – and as far as they’re concerned, the only number one that should be attached to Kurt Angle’s name – is the one loss he suffered last night at XX.

Angle doesn’t let that sit real well. He Angle Slams Arn. The first time the TitanTrust has been involved physically.

This buys Angle some immediate heat. Arn, of course, is a Horseman and Ric Flair’s best friend. So Flair, Leviathan, and Chavo run to ringside and get in Angle’s face while Dean tends to Double A. Flair shoves at Angle, Angle shoves back at Flair – Leviathan and Chavo take shots at Angle – and now it’s a 3 on 1…

…Run in by Haas and Benjamin. Haas and Benjamin, the former tag champs, return to the side of their mentor by attacking the men who beat them last night (and Chavo). As the reunited Team Angle fights with the Horsemen – Angle is attacked…by Dean Malenko.

The former NWA Champion peppers Angle with right hands – drawing the huge pop from all good people everywhere – but Angle is quickly able to turn the tide, and he Angle Slams Malenko.

Dean, of course, is the best friend of Eddy and Benoit – and the two champs then run to the ring to go after Kurt. Angle bails out, scurries up the aisle and is walking backward up the ramp, pleased as can be at the turmoil he’s caused – when he is stopped by Fit Finlay.

Finlay, the third member of the Brain Trust, fires right hands at Angle, back him down the ramp – but Angle, again, is able to take command, and he Angle Slams Fit on the ramp, drawing the heel reaction.

Angle’s celebration is stopped by…Steve Regal. Regal was Fit’s biggest rival in NWA (Regal from England, Fit from Northern Ireland) but, of course, longtime rivalry leads to great respect, as JR is telling us while Regal gets in Angle’s face…but Regal then turns and puts the boots to Fit. Regal and Angle put the boots to Fit before the officials can come from the back and pull everyone apart.

The following week, Vince will announce with the injuries to the Brain Trust, that the battle royal will be postponed, regretfully, until after Summer Slam, and that Kurt Angle will be suspended for 60 days. Which physically he needs.

To the bottom of the card. Paul E enters, with the Dudleys and RVD, Paul says that before the Titan Trust was incapacitated, he secured from them a promise that he could get a title shot at Summer Slam. And in looking at the belt holders, and looking at all the angles (fans should, ideally, be chanting for Van Dam) the Dudley Boys will get the tag team shot against Flair and Leviathan.

Dudleys nod – Van Dam does too, stoner that he is – until he realizes he just got screwed.

Van Dam says, Whoa, Paul, nothing against the boys, but we all know who won at Wrestlemania XX, we all know who ran Eric Bischoff out of the WWF...that was R….V….D.

Dudleys get aggressive, what’s your point, you don’t think we would have won at Wrestlemania if we had gotten a chance?

RVD says all I’m saying is I’m the two time IC Champ – I won at XX – the people dig me and dig my moves – and if someone’s gonna go to Summer Slam, no offense, but it’s going to be the Whole F’n Show.

Dudleys hit him with 3D. They exit with Paul E – and that breaks Van Dam away from the ECW group. Van Dam will later attack the Dudleys, getting a shot in at Paul E, but again they’ll leave him laying. RVD will challenge the Dudleys to a match on RAW – he says he’ll find a partner, and if the Dudleys had any guts, they’d put up their title shot. Against Paul E’s advice, the Dudleys accept.

RVD finds a partner….Rey Mysterio, Jr., his former rival for the IC belt. And the two high flyers go over the Dudleys to earn the shot against Flair and Leviathan (who feud with Haas and Benjamin on TV, always keeping the belts) at Summer Slam. It will be the Dudleys in the opening tag however, against the oil and water team of Orton (harmless babyface, always talking about being Bob Orton’s kid like anyone cares) and Cena (harmless babyface, dresses like Eminem, talks in full on Ebonics. He's pretty fly for a white guy.)

Not only were the Dudleys not on the card at Mania, neither were Dead Men Walking. And the Undertaker walks in on PAUL and Kane in the back complaining about how this team is getting anywhere – they’re supposed to be the most dominant force in all of wrestling, and they can’t even get on the card for XX.

Undertaker tells them anytime they want to get off the train, they’re welcome.

PAUL tells the Undertaker that maybe it’s not them who should get off the train, the way he sees it, there are two young, hungry Dead Men Walking – and one old man, living off his five legends wins.

Eventually, Kane has to choose – and turns on his brother. So, we’ve turned the Dead Guy face, in what I assume is his last turn, allowing the fans to cheer for a veteran. And at Summer Slam we’re gonna do the Undertaker against Kane.

Two undercard singles. Kidman is no longer a club kid, now he’s a heel (well, it depends on your inclination) and he wears a Jamie Noble t-shirt to the ring and says that his tag team partner, his best friend got fired by the WWF. Chris Benoit broke his ankle – and this company fired him. The way they treated Jamie Noble – the way the WWF treats all us young guys – well, it’s just wrong, and I’m not going to stand for the disrespect.

Enter Nick Dinsmore (Eugene, but without the retarded gimmick, instead, he’s the crotchety veteran who never got his chance) Dinsmore says he feels terrible for the young guys like Kidman, getting to travel first class, fly from show to show, stay in five star hotels, get their pick of the finest women on the road. He’s spent the last five years in Louisville, Kentucky. The only hotel he can afford to stay at has the number 8 in its name, and anytime he could get a woman with her own teeth, it was a big night for Nick Dinsmore. On TV, we’ll toss in young, good natured, kinda dumb Oklahoman Rob Conway on Kidman’s side and Alabama Bob on Dinsmore’s side. I guess we’re not really doing a face/heel thing here – if you identify with the old guys, you root for the vets, with the kids, you root for the kids. We do Dinsmore/Kidman at the PPV.

We also have a Booker T sighting. Booker, last seen wrestling Van Dam at Survivor Series the year before, on behalf of Matt. Booker calls Matt to the ring, says, “Dog, I’ve been calling you like six months, I didn’t want to go public, but uh, ATM Eric's check bounced, Dog. And there one thing you know ‘bout Booker T…I GOTS TO GET PAID…."

Matt says he doesn't know anything about that, Book - he got turned around by Bischoff for awhile, but he doesn't want any heat, he'll figure something out.

Book's not hearing that, Matt thinks he's a sucka - Book ain't no sucka - Book's gonna take his payment out of Matt's ass at Summer Slam.

One more singles, and the two title matches.

We’ve got half the Clique, Edge and London. Shoutouts to Michaels and Christian, both injured at Mania. At every opportunity, we put over Christian’s cage bump, just in the way they sold Foley’s. Edge says after 18 months on the shelf with a broken neck – he is back, and he is going home to Toronto for Summer Slam.

And after what he did to his brother at Wrestlemania – after he threw his brother off a 20 foot high Cell, Chris Jericho – you have to get ready to face the Edge…

Jericho, hair slicked back in his new heel look, with similarly greasy Trish, both doing a “too cool for school” pose – enter. Jericho snaps his fingers and says, sorry, Adam, sorry, but hasn’t there been enough Canadian on Canadian violence already? What, with the way I tossed your little brother off a steel cage at Wrestlemania?

Trish says Edge’s wish won’t get granted, kinda like when Edge would wish to get in her pants when he was his manager. Because she’s got a contract for Chris Jericho to wrestle at Summer Slam….against Eddy Guerrero for the Worldwide Titles.

Edge starts to protest, but he and London are laid out by the sledgehammer wielding HHH – and then HHH and Jericho, unlikely allies, put the boots to them. HHH tells Edge he doesn’t have to look for an opponent for Summer Slam – ‘cause he just got one.

We’ll do that as a falls count anywhere – Edge came back not as a very good wrestler, he’d get better over the course of the year, but he’s better served in a garbage match, and HHH certainly is.

The best worker in the Clique is London, good on the ground, great in the air, and we’ll mix and match with he and Edge against Jericho and HHH over the summer.

We’re gonna give London two pinfalls on Jericho over the summer – one in a tag, and one in a singles – and that’s enough to make the IC a 3 way at Summer Slam – Eddy v. Jericho v. London. We can now toss in Benoit/Eddy into this mix – and they can wrestle both HHH/Jericho and Edge/London in various combinations. Eddy/Jericho, recall, was a great year long feud four years ago over the IC belt – a feud that Jericho eventually prevailed in – now they’ve switched spots, Eddy is the pure babyface, very much the Eddy of 2004, and Jericho has gone full heel. We toss in a couple of peppers into the mix – London is Hispanic, as mentioned previously, and Jericho indicates they’ll “gang” up on him at Summer Slam.

And London is Clique – while Benoit, obviously, is a Hart as is Jericho. So, as they’re going to Toronto for Summer Slam, Jericho looks to get in Benoit’s head a little bit, saying that if London walks out of Toronto with the IC title, then it’s on Benoit’s head.

Then there’s the main. Benoit feuds with Regal all summer, along with the previously stated commitments. Angle’s gone, with the suspension, the reason being his health, Angle goes downhill quickly at this point, and I’d rather he got some rest. So, we threw Regal into the mix with the Fit spot – and that allows to continue Benoit/Angle with Regal as the surrogate all summer.

Angle returns of course, and attacks Benoit – puts him in the ankle lock, and we’re going to rematch around a 2 out of 3 falls stip, with the 3 rd fall, if there is a 3 rd fall, being submission only, so we’re selling that this is the rubber match between them, Angle won at WM 17, Benoit at 20, now we go 2 of 3 falls for the straps.

So, we’ve got Summer Slam from Toronto. Benoit/Angle 2 of 3 falls for the straps, the 3 way, Eddy/Jericho/London for the IC, Flair and Leviathan defend the tags against Rey/RVD, Edge and HHH in a falls count anywhere. Matt v. Booker in the I gots to get Paid match, Old School v. New School: Dinsmore v. Kidman, Dead Men Walking explodes when the Undertaker meets Kane, and the Dudleys face Orton and Cena in the opening tag. And it’s from Toronto – where the hot crowd will bring the love for the Canadians. Summer Slam 2004!