Ayeeeeeeesha youre the girl I never had, I wanna get to know you betta….Ah, 90s. One time for the people who sang along…and my white readers, I love y’all too. So recently, the internet apparently voted for Ayesha Curry, wife of Steph Curry as the “aspirational” black woman of the year. I use aspirational in quotes as what it really is, is internet negroes propping up one woman to tear a legion of others. (My vote was for Mrs LeBron James, Savannah Brinson; she stayed down even when his hairline didn’t, she didn’t make a fuss when she couldn’t get a ring until he did, when she saw Dwyane Wade was having break babies she didn’t fret, she calmly gathered her man and got the fuck out of Miami…she the real MVP. Also the Currys look more like siblings than a couple) For example, previous ABW the Flotus Flower Bomb, Michelle Obama who was lauded not for her education, her grace, but because she dated “down” (overplayed because I mean he was going to be a Harvard educated lawyer, at worst…and most lawyers I know personally have shitty cars I don’t know why maybe it builds character). This year, Ayesha is praised for her modesty. In an era of thirst trapping and swiping left, suddenly its all about getting an Ayesha, she’s rare. (Yes, a God fearing black woman is sooo hard to find in America of all places, K.)

Y'all see it too...you aint gotta lie, we fam

I’ve spoken before on my issues with respectability, its the notion that said respect has to be earned in the first place. That’s how you have the Rev Runs of the world saying dress how you want to be addressed meanwhile his princess is being shouted out in rap songs for her noted thirst trapping. The dudes crying for an Ayesha Curry are largely full of shit, them 10s of thousands of likes on your favorite instamodel page is from the same dude telling women if they got their act together they maybe might could get a shot at them.

But if we ARE going to make fetch happen here, I feel we are better than archaic respectability politics, we should make her someone really pedestal worthy. Like my Ayesha probably…

– returns hoodies
– doesn’t save a bunch of shit on the dvr she never going to go watch
– take 17 years to get ready then side eye you when your shoes aren’t on
– doesnt say she’s not hungry then pick off your plate
– doesnt put her cold ass feet on you in the bed
– understands how was work is a rhetorical question
– remembers your brothers name
– lets silence happen and doesnt immediately assume something’s wrong
– doesnt sit next to you watching TV and ask what else is on 5 minutes later
– won’t lurk your Twitter looking for shit to be mad about
– leaves the Netflix password as is because youre finally at the part of Breaking Bad it gets really good

If we going to put someone on a pedestal, at least make it pedestal worthy and not just some shit that even you don’t believe. Or of course, leave people’s wives alone and stop trying to cast aspersions on women you can’t have anyway. It could all be so simple.