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Wednesday, February 07, 2018

Birthdays and Valentines

There are two days of the year that I celebrate and dote on myself. First is my birthday and second is Valentine's Day. It works out perfect because the two events are six months apart. So I treat myself and make time for me at least twice a year. Now that I'm single - I treat myself way more than twice a year. My next "treat" will be buying a house.... all.by.myself. It scares me but at the same time, I should have BEEN done it a long time ago. I remember when I was separated from my first husband, my mother begging me to buy a house. If I had known then what I know now, I would have listened to her. She was so wise! Miss you mom!!

While most people celebrate their birth DAY. I celebrate for all of the Leo Zodiac season -- July 22nd to August 22nd. I take an entire month to celebrate me. Of course there are tons of people who are also in celebration with me because a lot of what I do is orchestrated by my family and friends. I am so grateful to be surrounded by so much love and such a strong support system. I cannot express enough gratitude for all the people in my life.

I turned 42 last August. One of the highlights of Leo Season was ziplining at Keana Farms. The exhilaration of flying through the air with just some rope and pulleys preventing me from falling to my death was an amazing experience. And to share the experience with my two oldest nieces just brought me so much happiness. I told myself when I was in my 20's that when I turned 40 I would go skydiving. That didn't happen because my husband at the time (now my ex) said that it was an unnecessary risk. Now that I have the freedom to choose my destiny, I just might put skydiving back on my bucket list.

Valentine's Day is coming up. I just the love the idea of celebrating love and romance. You can do a google search and see that it has a sordid past but all I care about is how I celebrate now. The way people say there's a special feeling in the air during Christmas - that's how I feel about Valentines. I love walking into stores and seeing all the reds and pinks, the hearts and the chocolates, the lace and the satin, and the flowers. Oh my goodness I love seeing the flowers. One can never go wrong by sending me flowers.

Maybe the chic flicks have done me in where I just might have an unrealistic expectation of romance. I think it's healthy to dream and fantasize about being swept off my feet by a handsome, kind, and generous man. It keeps the visual in my mind of what I want in a partner. It is not a secret that my heart has been broken before. Heck, everyone's heart has been broken before but I do not let it stop me from seeking out love again. I am not a bitter woman and I am beginning to think that my trail of broken hearts are actually helping to break me wide open, forcing me to fulfill my potential.

This Valentines I want what I want every Valentines:
***A handwritten love letter where he writes his truest feelings about me - why he loves me and specific examples of what he loves most about me. I don't think men know the power of "specific examples". Every woman wants to hear the whens and the whys. I thrive on it. My first love told me, "When I looked in your eyes, there was nothing fake there. You didn't shake my gaze and I could see inside you." We always had a special connection and some days I really miss it. Even though he ended up breaking my heart, I know that if we were to have a go at it a second time, it just might be the right time. But that is not in cards as he is very married.

***Red Roses delivered to my office - I don't know why this makes me happy but it does. Receiving flowers at my office from anyone is such a thrill. I am not a materialistic person at all so the lavish gifts of jewelry is nice but I rather have something that took some thought, which is why I love handwritten letters. And the roses? Well, I just love red roses. The deep red is so gorgeous to me and it just screams LOVE.

In high school there used to be "candy-grams" during Valentines. I never got one but I loved the anticipation and wondering if someone would send me one. I still get that feeling leading up to Valentines, wondering if someone is going to send me something, hoping that the one I am thinking of is going to be thinking of me too. When Valentines Day arrives and the day is almost over and I have received nothing, I don't fret. I go out and treat myself to something nice - maybe a shopping trip for a new outfit or some new shoes. I might take in a movie or hit the spa. There is no time to be sad over things out of my control. So even if I don't have a Valentine this year, I will still treat myself to something nice - the day AFTER Valentines when everything is half off.