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Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Milestones

Owen is potty trained. Wow. That.Is.Huge. Maybe not for Patric. He never packed diapers to take Owen somewhere anyway…but now I don't have to worry about it! lol. that's a whole 'nother post.

Anyway, we are moving on…to the next phase. So much of him reminds me of Emma. He's home alone all day and wants me to play with him allthetime. And I do …. so much more than I did with Emma! But I still have to stall with him a lot to get my stuff done around the house. It is so fun to take him everywhere I go. There are times when I don't--he'll either go with Dad or have a play date. But most of the time I prefer to take him with me. I feel like the time is going so fast. I want to record all of his words. This weekend at the swim meet, it was "Lappy Tappy" for Laffy Taffy. His expressions. His tone. I breathe him in every day. I had the best time buying an outfit at BabyGap…because (it was on sale!) I hardly ever buy him clothes, unless he needs them. He is still wearing a lot of hand-me-downs from Reese and I just don't go into BabyGap much anymore. AND, the real reason is, because I know he won't let me dress him much longer, if he's anything like his big brother. I had a blast dressing Reese until he decided gym pants and tshirts were ll he needed to wear….at age 4.

This thing called parenthood is the toughest, most draining, yet most rewarding, ugliest, yet most beautiful, complicated, yet simple (rarely), most awesome thing ever. And I see my journey in parenthood moving into a new era almost. I'm not entirely sad about it, because I obviously don't miss changing diapers and toting around all the stuff for that. But it just feels like a book is closing in my life. I'm starting to look forward to the next one, without looking back at the last one teary-eyed all the time. But most of all, I'm really focused on just enjoying this day and this moment. This conversation and this task. Because they are all so precious. I love the girls growing up into young women that share my interests and enjoy our girls days out. But I often reminisce when they were little and remember those silly things they did and their behaviors and little quirks they had.

I love being a mom. But not a day goes by that I don't take it for granted. Being Chase's mommy has most definitely helped shape me into the mom that I have become, just as the others that are here on earth with me. It's not easy. But I love it. It makes me happy. I couldn't ask for anything more. I am so incredibly lucky. And I know there was a time in my life that I thought I would never say that again. But I can. With tears in my eyes and an ache in my heart. I'm a lucky girl.

3 comments:

Change is tough...even good change. I'm conflicted about my kids growing older too. I just have to remind myself that each year is a blessing and like you...be grateful and live in the moment. You are a great mama!

I've been missing you! I know I haven't gotten up your way but we will in July...if you are still up that way. Hugs to Owen for being a BIG boy and moving on to the potty! Hugs to everyone else up that way too. Been praying for Dick and G to just hang in there.

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'I am leaving you with a gift: peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give isn't fragile like the peace the world gives. So don't be troubled or afraid. Remember what I told you: I am going away, but I will come back to you again. If you really love me, you will be very happy for me, for now I can go to the Father, who is greater than I am. I have told you these things before they happen so that when they do, you will believe in me.'

John 14:27-29

About Me

This is my blog where I will be writing about my life as it happens. I am married to my best friend, my confident, my soulmate. We have 2 girls, then a boy, all healthy pregnancies, healthy babies. Then on April 14, 2009, our fourth baby was damaged during labor and delivery. I do not understand why this happened to us, we did everything we thought we were supposed to do. We love each other, we love ourselves, and we love our children more than anything. Chase would have only enhanced what we already had. But instead of being in our arms, he is in our hearts, in our minds and in our souls, deeply embedded, walking this road of life with us in another form. We are all different people, trying to learn how to be a family this way. But I am the luckiest girl in the world to have what I have. I just happen to be one of the unluckiest, too, for having been dealt this tragedy.