Tight Pants, Octopus & Living your Dreams

Well, I told you we were going to see True Grit, we did…. and, hey mikey, she liked it. Now really there could be no stronger endorsement than that – Me, I was giddy as a schoolgirl, walked out of the theatre throwing popcorn in the air and shooting it out of the sky with my deadly accurate finger-guns…. It was really great, I enjoyed it so much, I’m looking for eye patches and considering legally changing my name to Rooster…

Now here’s the trailer for you just in case you have no idea what I’m talking about;
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Ok, that’s all I’ll say about that, if the trailer does nothing for you…. then I’m afraid you are beyond my ability to help you…

Moving along, as the rest of the free-world returns to work tomorrow, I have one more day before returning, nerves are running pretty high, the feelings are pretty mixed – 50% excitement, 50% fear, 36% Anxiety, 19% Oat Bran and 7% had no preference. I believe that equals 100% but I will admit to a certain adult-onset math retardation… just a touch, very mild case….pretty much closes the case on there being any Asian blood in my history. WOW, racism rears it’s ugly head. Just goes to show you, how far we still have to go.

Sometimes I sicken myself so much with my hurtful ways, it’s one of the reasons I think a new start is the way to go, changing my name to Rooster would only be the beginning. I would also affect a pronounced limp and have myself surgically altered to feature a cleft palate. I would also mislead random strangers into believing that I was stricken with relapsing & remitting colour blindness. That should provide plenty of cover for me to begin my new life as a bounty hunter, seriously, if Dog can do it, so can I. After some careful study, the only things I’d really need are a yellow-spangled, huge breasted wife, jaunty hanging feathers for my extreme mullet and a couple of sons who do all the work – voila.

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Naw, that makes no sense, I could never wear my pants tight enough to hang with Dog and his crew. I require full range of motion at all times… Probably, most likely, I won’t go ahead with the transformation, but that’s OK – I still have quite a few responsibilities to tend to before riding off into the sunset. Besides parent teacher interviews would just be awkward for the kids having to introduce me as “my dad, Rooster.” Actually if I went ahead and changed my name I would require the kids to call me Pa, rather than dad in keeping with the western theme…

But don’t be sad for that particular dream dying, I still have a ton…. for example, someday I want to drive across America in a Monster truck, solving crimes and doing odd jobs for the colorful folk who chose to live off the beaten path. It would be a real-life combination of Murder She Wrote, Knight Rider, MacGyver, The X-Files and Petticoat Junction.
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Tell me you wouldn’t love to hear about the hi-jinks and adventures I would get into every week. The Monster truck would talk and he would be called “Charles in Charge” and I would call myself Rocky.. not the boxer mind you, but the squirrel from Bullwinkle… Like it? Well there is plenty more where that came from, if I were uber-rich the first thing I would do would be to buy everyone in the country an Orange Julius, BUT the second thing would be to make some of my dreams come true… obviously the Monster Truck idea is a done deal, second would probably be where I ride a magical octopus with the guy from the old spice commercials and we go around the world changing all the animals who are still in black and white into colour.
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Anyways, that’s what I would do, maybe you would spend it differently. Oh and True Grit was awesome.