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You indicated some definate signs for a young Celiac child - an inheritable Gene, slow growth and digestive issues.
A child has enough challenges besides dealing with a Celiac Mental, Physical and growth issues. This also includes a higher Temperment, irratability and the uncomfortableness that comes with ingesting gluten. This was a big part of the socialability issues our pre-school child had before his diagnosis.
Being a father of 5 celiac diagnosed children and a celiac wife we have experienced the a widerange of child and adult lifestyle, physical and sensitivity issues.
Get the diagnosis done early! Physical damage and diseases - Most important this prevents the that can occur down the road for a undiagnosed Celiac or Gluten Intolerant as they grow older! Mental, Physcological, and Temperment issues - Removal of gluten from a Celiac or Gluten Intolerant youngster, lessen and or prevents these known gluten intolerant issues from occuring! Saves more money in the long run on misdiagnosed health and or gluten caused health issues!
Having the diagnosis in hand when you need it (always keep a copy!) helps to: Get support from educational systems,Care takers, emergency responders, medical personal\facilites and started early. Is needed to get a 504 plan in place if you need more assistance and support from these entities. Prevents a great deal of headaches, frustration and anguish by not having to go through the last minute process to get the support and or meet a deadline (that everybody fails to because of lack of time)
Yes, if Gluten intolerance or Celaic, it is something your ex and you should be involved in and understand for your childs sake. It will take advocating, dillegence and teaching skills from both of you to help get the support your child needs, to educate others, and to teach your child the lifestyle skills he\she will need to fend for themselves as a Celiac or Gluten Intolerant.
Learn more about this Gluten Intolerance from forums like this, other websites and become a member of a local support group\s.
Good Luck!

Red flag on the comment "your kids do not need to be tested." Your are a 1st degree relative, your children most likely have the gene, she is showing possible symptoms!
The pediatrician is not up to speed on Celiac Disease or Non-Celiac Gluten Intolerant\Sensitive issues.
Ensure you get a full panel gold standard test done and read by a doctor who knows what to look for. If the test show your child has the gene, antibodies and the follow-on endoscopy show the damaged villi the disease has already been triggered! Start the diet before further damage is done. If your child does have the antibodies but not the gene and you find a Gluten free diet lowers the antibodies and the disconfort diminishes and grow is back on tract Non-Celiac Gluten Intolerance\Sensitivity is very likely the issue.
It is better to discover the damage early for either of the above Disease or Intolerance before more serious problems develope for example Leaky Gut, nutritional issues, and other Autoimmune Diseases.
I've got 5 kids who were diagnosed Celiacs during the same month but at different ages groups from preschool to high school. I wish we caught the older ones when they were in preschool. Life and medical bills would have been much less of a problem and the lifestyle change would have been easier on the older ones and us.
If your child has celiac disease or is Gluten intolerant, start preparing yourself for educating schools, caregivers, services providers, Doctors, family members, etc.. about this issues.

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Celiac.com was founded in 1995 by Scott Adams, author of Cereal Killers, founder and publisher of Journal of Gluten Sensitivity, and founder of The Gluten-Free Mall, who had a single goal for the site: To help as many people as possible with celiac disease get diagnosed and living a happy, healthy gluten-free life!