Thursday, March 12, 2009

WyW on Thursday - Big 80's Edition

(When I'm not talking about ramming someone with my privates, I'm making fun of blind people. Read that over at Alexa's - Cleveland's A Plum)

Cue up the red wine and Valtrex; it's time for everyone's favorite game - Would Ya Wednesday!

The game that is like Where's Waldo? - but with your private parts.

This week's theme? Aging stars from the 80's. But I don't mean in their prime - oh, no - I am talking 2009 version.

Our first contestant is most famous for being nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize - something about "keeping the mullet dream alive". When he wasn't saving Africa he also wrote a few songs. That's right, everyone's favorite super hero - Bono.

More importantly - if you get him in the sack you can answer the age old question of whether he wears his sunglasses in bed. If I were a betting man I would say he is just socks, sunglasses and business in the bedroom.

Our other contestant could beat you up. I don't care who you are. She would use her crazy Kabbalah powers and cast some voodoo spell on you. Her one talent in life is being even crazier than Scientologists. Of course I'm talking about the Material Girl - Madonna.

You know the rules - I put up pictures of each contestant and you tell me if you would act Like A Virgin or if you would let them stick their privates Where The Streets Have No Name.

No sir. Imagining Madonna's industrial albeit well oiled vajayjay makes me cringe. If I saw that cougar down bar I'd pay my tab and leave. Not coyly ignore her and secretly hope she snares me with game and shots, I'd already be at the next bar.

Any man who wears sunglasses like that does not deserve to jump in the sack with anyone. As a proud gay man, I have a "no fashion sense, no chance" sort of policy. And by fashion sense, I mean that you can't wear ugly-ass sunglasses like that, geez. NO.