Pigging out.

But here is the deal. I’ve said it a million times, but I have never actually “hopped in the shower.” That would be a little weird. But tonight, I just might try it.

There are a lot of things I probably say… and don’t really do…. or mean.

The classic example of this… running somewhere. Anywhere. “I’m just going to run to the store real quick.” “I think we should run up to Columbus for that concert.”

These days, I don’t run anywhere, unless someone is chasing me.

And… then there are the sad movies. Or funerals. Or stories on the news. “Ohhhh…… I cried my eyes out.” Nope, this has never happened either. That would be…. well….. just gross.

Conversely… when I hear a very funny joke, or see a hilarious movie… I often claim to have “laughed my head off.” A little Marie Antoinette, don’t you think? Or King Henry the Eighth. “Off with his head.” Again… the thought is just a bit repulsive.

Right along those same lines. “Oh my gosh. The end of that movie totally blew my mind away.” Well…. let’s hope not.

What is wrong with our humans and our use of metaphors? We go hog wild with these things.
Don’t get me started on the old oxymoron. I could write a story of those.

Okay. I will.

The other day… I decided to go to dinner with friends. We went to a seafood restaurant.

There was a small crowd there. No matter.
I order the jumbo shrimp.
It was awful good.
I ate the larger half of my potato.
It was terribly good too.
We had a lot of fun, as my friends are seriously funny.
But when it was time to go, I gave them a sad smile.
Parting is such sweet sorrow, I said.

Okay, enough of the oxymorons and the metaphors.

The thing that is truly troubling me are all of life’s mysteries.

I won’t go through the 3,874 that are in my head right at this moment.
I’ll just leave you with a couple.

Who decided clockwise was clockwise?

Since we have Earthquakes on Earth, do they have Marsquakes on Mars?

If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

And… my life long quest… … …. …was Bingo the name of the dog, or the farmer?

Somebody….. help me.

You must try to generate happiness within yourself. If you aren’t happy in one place, chances are you won’t be happy anyplace. — Ernie Banks

A warm smile is the universal language of kindness. — William Arthur Ward

Happiness does not lie in happiness, but in the achievement of it. — Fyodor Dostoevsky