Bob Goff, the very funny author of the best-selling book "Everybody Always: Becoming Love in a World Full of Setbacks and Difficult People," spoke Thursday morning at the annual Greater Houston Prayer Breakfast, held at the downtown Hilton Americas. He's also the founder of Love Does, a nonprofit that operates schools and safe houses and pursues justice for women and children in conflict areas such as Somalia and Iraq.

Here, edited for clarity, brevity and style, are some highlights of his speech.

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"I just got back from a 70-hour trip to Afghanistan. So what you're seeing is all fueled by hummus and Red Bull."

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"I put my cell phone number in the back of my book. There's a kid who calls me every few weeks and just cusses at me. I thought I knew all the cuss words. But there are new ones. Every time he calls, I tell him, 'I will always take your call.' Because he may need that person in his life."

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"About a year ago, we started school for girls in in Afghanistan. But God isn't impressed by going overseas to do good works. What really blows His hair back is seeing you do good works across the street."

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"If mess-ups were pushups, I'd be totally ripped."

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"I'm so impatient, I make coffee nervous.

"I keep putting it the microwave. Jesus keeps pulling it out and putting it in the crockpot."

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"I am two lessons away from getting my hot-air balloon license. The thing about hot-air balloons is, you don't know whose backyard you'll land in. You need to be nice to everybody."

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On arguing with people who disagree with you: "You don't need to be a lawyer for Jesus. He doesn't need one, and you're not that good at it."

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"I don't want smart people in my life. They're a dime a dozen. I want wise people."

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"At Pepperdine Law School, I teach a class on failure. All I do is bring in my friends who have failed to talk to the class. That's all of my friends."

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"While my wife was in labor with our daughter Lindsey, I wrote a letter: 'Dear Lindsey, I forgive you for wrecking my car.'

"I buried that letter in a pickle jar.

"Eighteen years later, she wrecked my car. I gave her the coordinates.

[With an amazed look] "She said, 'Dad, you forgave me before I was born!'"

"I'm telling you: Geocache! If you change your mind later, you don't have to tell anyone where you buried the jar."

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"I don't just teach at Pepperdine. I also teach at San Quentin. I always hope not to see my law students turn up in my classes at San Quentin.

"At San Quentin, I teach people, 'Be clear in your message.' If you're in a cell with a 6'9" inmate, it's a great time to be clear in your message.

"But also: Be clear with your parole board. And with your family.

"We all need that. We all need to be clear."

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"We all need people to say, 'I see who you're becoming.'

"God sees us that way. He sees who we're becoming. We're all becoming love."

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"If you want to know where you are in your faith, see how you interact with the people whodisagree with you most — the ones who scare us, the ones who creep us out."

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"I have stalkers! One morning, I woke up at 5 to turn on the coffee pot, and I saw a guy on my porch. He said, 'I'm not a stalker.'

"People who say, 'I'm not a stalker' — they're stalkers.

"I always try to find the least creepy explanation for people's behavior. This guy was overenthusiastic.

"Some creepy people are dangerous. We have to take precautions then. But we should remember: They're figuring out their path.

Lisa Gray is a senior writer on the features desk. Previously, she's held many of the Chronicle's most interesting jobs: Senior editor for digital, features enterprise editor, member of the editorial board, acting op-ed editor, columnist--and, most fun of all, founding editor of Gray Matters, the Chronicle site named "Best Blog" in Texas three years in a row.

Email her at lisa.gray@chron.com. Or follow her on Facebook, where she spends way too much time.