Tin Cans of Testimony

Summary: Two friends become neighbours - and worry about how it could affect their relationship.

Tin Cans of Testimony

When we both finally found somewhere to live, our flats were on opposite sides of the same street - a fresh geographic manifestation of our long and close friendship. We joked about how this might affect us. Would we spy on each other’s breakfasts and dinners? Or would we learn semaphore and stand on our balconies with arms moving to the rhythm of our own private language?

When I suggested, between laughs, that we should install a two-way telephone I regretted it almost instantly. Your face lit up with boyish enthusiasm and a smile which signposted irrepressible intent. There’d be no flashing red Bat-Phone with which to request a rescue from boredom, not yet, but with nothing more than a piece of string and two empty cans we’d build a direct line from the hearth of your home to mine.

Always one for privacy and a big believer in the sanctity of a quiet night in, I initially balked at the idea. It was bad enough that you would, should the mood take you, be able to peer directly in to my private life - but to give you unfettered vocal access to it seemed like a step far too far. You wore me down both with well-reasoned arguments and your infectious zeal. I soon more than warmed to the idea; life could be like one of the TV shows we grew up watching, the ones with teen boys climbing ladders in to bedroom windows. I began to fantasise about the possibilities: hammy jokes (requests for sugar), or spontaneous ideas (invitations to that flash looking “curling bar” on the corner). We could make real every sitcom cliche we’d so jealously hated whilst living in other people’s spare rooms. This was the direction our friendship should take.

I moved in a fortnight before you, but you insisted that we install our “communications network” (each successive breath imbued the scheme with greater grandiosity) as soon as we both had our keys. I managed to talk you out of tying the line to an arrow and shooting it across the road. I was terrified we’d hit the couple next door, your neighbours-to-be. You didn’t share my concerns: “Look at their yellowing windowsills and anaemic pot plants. They’re clearly sadomasochists. If anything they’d enjoy the pierce of the arrow through their wrinkled skin”. I could only think of their screams reverberating back through the string, painting the walls of my new home.

No, it was simply a well-aimed throw that delivered the mouthpiece to your side of the street. You caught it on the first try and, as I stared across, all I could see was you as Moses, your balcony looming like Mount Sinai whilst the empty tin of peas you held above your head was a stone tablet which would deliver unto me the laws and commandments of our new neighbourly relationship. I watched as your mouth moved and prophetic truths danced silently along the taut string; a tripwire suspended ten metres above the ground.

Words came to my waiting ears:

“Please use curtains”.

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Simon Cowley

ianwatson:
The comedy is original and genuinely funny, I have laughed out loud many times reading this book. But the story and the plot are also really engaging. The opening two or three chapters seem quite character-dense but they all soon come to life and there is no padding, filling or wasted time readin...

summerstone:
Seriously this is one of the best books I've ever read. The plot is intriguing, I love the narrative style. Its very descriptive and unique, with minimal cliches. It makes for a great read and the sequels are amazing. Totally worth reading. ^^ That's me trying to be professional. But in all hones...

Ben Gauger:
Kudos go to Liz Aguilar, author of To Have And to Hold a fast-paced, gripping, adrenaline rush from start to finish, one of perhaps the finest pieces of writing I've ever read, in particular because of its' telenovela-like feel, May she continually find success as an author. Bravo my dear, bravo!

Rebeccaseal:
This was an almost perfect story that I would recommend to anyone. The only thing I would work on is painting a more realistic picture of Haiathiel. Somehow the environment seemed limited, and the land itself a bit unfinished. This can be solved simply by added descriptions to people and places. ...

Ruby0h:
Overall I thought your story was really good! It drew me in right away and kept me interested as the story progressed. I loved the character of Kayla being inserted into this story, and the way she affected and shaped the life of the original story into something totally new and interesting. I lo...

Carolyn Hahn-Re:
I really liked this story! The writing was well done, and the plot was suspenseful. I couldn't stop reading chapter after chapter, on the edge of my seat! The characters were well developed, and true to form. Thank you so much for this wonderful read.

:
This is my first book reading on here and I absolutely loved it! If you like a book that'll keep you up late at night then this is your go to. What makes this novel so special is that it shows that even if your not blood related some people would put your needs before there's.

Sandra Estrada:
I loved every minute of it and I thank my lucky stars that brought me to the story, it's been a whirlwind of emotions, plot twist after plot twist but I never got tired of them. Abby and Kade's story is a hard one to understand but once you're submerged in their story and love, you can't help but...

ernbelle:
When I first started this story I was a little unsettled by all of the information that appears in the prologue, and wasn't sure if I would continue. However, I am very glad I did. The plot was very well thought out and really interesting. There were not any page breaks or markers to acknowledge ...

Jessie:
I wrote a review on fanfiction but I thought it would be fitting to write on on here too :) This story was honestly stunning. I am a budding writer myself and to read this- to FEEL this- reminded me of why I am honoured to have this passion and drive for a craft that is just so raw and beautiful.

Jasmine Chow:
As I read this story, I was reminded some what of Terry Pratchett, especially some descriptions of politics and economics. The sci-fic setting is quite intriguing. Writing style is quite lovely and grew on me slowly. I was also slightly reminded of Mark Twain, especially his book A Connecticut Ya...