You worry about us while I worry about you My wounds have mostly healed Yours, are still unfairly new

Still vulnerable, still susceptible, Still affected by so much Bruised around the edges Still tender to the touchMemories, there on the wall Reminders, flashing on the screen Taking you back to a hurt that never should have been Pictures and question marks Still images, still fresh Years of mixed emotions, rubbing against your flesh The occasions, the situations With family, with friends The sudden jolt to your system When some of your past attends Incessant and intrusive probing Concerned people, hassling you The pangs from a harsh reality, that may or may not be true
Occasional reminders,
that prick you like a pin
Sharp and pointed circumstance
Jabbing at your skin Rumours, and stories that swirl Of others, going through the same Open secrets and indiscretions The deflecting of the blame Sad and similar symptoms, that you reluctantly understand Taking you an unhealthy distance from the life that you had planned

You worry about us and I worry about you This is what I can see This is all I can do

There is pain that I recognize Sore spots, we have both got Other aches, I can understand
Worse ones, that I cannot
Nights, together in your home
Putting myself in your place
Hours, rapt deep in our conversation
Moments, spent lost in your face
The nuances of your smile
The emotions, found in your eyes
A shimmering well of melancholy
behind a wavering disguise
The sharp, cruel jabs of pain,
that stab your heart like a knife
The tears, that occupy my mind,
as we sit, surrounded by your life
Yet, there is no place I’d rather be
There with you, trying to comprehend
Distracting you and laughing with you
As your partner, as your friend
Taking you to a fun and happy now,
And sitting beside you there
Giving only me, and who I am,
In every minute that we share
Knowing, I have zero urge to sit
where someone else has sat
That I am one hundred percent yours
That I can promise you that
I have my steadfast morals
I have my own unique charms
I have this love for you,
and I have two strong arms

You worry about us I worry about you I promise you my honesty That is the most I can do

BrusqueOpinions, for the ears of everybodyWords, of a mind for only oneYou talk and you talk a good gameWhen, actually, you have noneA misplaced sense of self-importanceConfident, to the point of delusion Constantly rubbing people the wrong wayA reality, wrapped inside an illusion

What colour is the sky in your world?Does the sun only shine when you’re in it?Is the planet lonely with just the one person?Does it only turn when you spin it?

An endless list of those you’ve alienatedAstounded, by your condescending toneAn ego, that pierces the thickest of skinDaggers, from a mind all your ownCommon denominator to many problemsDivisor, for those who cross your pathYou are 100% certain, and 90% wrongLittle remains, when you do the math

What colour is the sky in your world?Is it grey and spattered with dots?Do you ever get to see the sunlight?Is it overcast, clouded by your thoughts?

You ride in on your high horseGive the royal wave to all you passThose who don’t acknowledge youCan just kiss your royal assYou share a seat with your superiorityOblivious to the ooze that you spillSitting smugly beside your judgementIn a sticky puddle of your ill will

What colour is the sky in your world?Is it showering blood, instead of rain?Are you sheltered beneath your thin cover?Or drenched, in the red of your disdain?

It is by no means an overstatementYour demeanour is your disguise, your demiseWhenever you reveal your true selfIt’s like a storm, sweeping the skiesFrom the nasty depths of self-absorptionBlunt statements, soaked in the oddRevealed, one assumption at a timeFrom beneath your shallow façade

What colour is the sky in your world?Does anyone ever reach you there?Perhaps someone should tell you?Would you really even care?

The same stubborn scenario
The same view every night A silhouette, close to the edge A moth under the light The echo of my thoughts On infinite repeat A schizophrenic mind field Of two and a half feet
Turned one hundred and eighty In a blanketed cocoon A butterfly to a moth Under the light of the moon A stark and palpable silence An insurmountable rutUrges, kept at arm’s length Until my eyes flutter shut
Take me back to my museRelease me from this storm From the cold of my creation The bitter back to the warm From this tempest in a teapot These chilling winds of blame The frigid reality each night The moth back to the flame
An exasperating tug of war Across a span of diminished hope There has to be some solace Near the end of my rope
Nothing that I can do or say Changes, impervious to gain The collateral damage is done A consequence to the pain

So many months, eaten awayThe thin fabric of a ruse
Resentful of my own creationA moth disguised as a muse
Rose-coloured tunnel vision?
Wishful thinking all along? For the sanity of lost time It would help if I was wrong

Take me back to my muse Release me from this regretFrom the pall of uncertainty That hangs over me yet From the now back to the thenThe difference of day to nightTo open arms and an open mindTo a butterfly, in a better light

Wavelength
Apart in our own worlds Regrettable but inevitable Too much time in between. Some texts and a phone callReflective two hour drive Back to where we’ve been.

Always able to continue Exactly where we left offThe bond will always hold.Seamlessly joined together Cohesive and carefree Like yesterdays of old.Vicarious rock and rollSymbiotic music appreciation Smiles and affirmative glances.
Twenty minute trade-offsGuitars and emphatic drumsMeandering random dances.

Age irrelevant atmosphere Perpetually young of heart Suspended in our prime.Reluctantly grown men Trading personal tracks While losing track of time.

Irreplaceable friends Life long brothers Taking time to play. The comfort in knowing That our yesterdays Can always be today.

Embraces and honesty No subject we can’t broach Confronting life with laughter. Best men, best buddies Beside for ups and downs Before, during and after.
Team and battery mates Sharing one wavelength Signals and tell tale signs. Uncommon commonalities References unique to us Through life and like minds.

I had a dentist appointment on Thursday. After I had parked my car I looked down at the ticket, and I remembered. I felt a wave of anxiety come over me as I realized just where I was, and on what day. I remembered, and I paused for a moment, before going up those stairs. I remembered, in a haze, as I sat, quiet in the dental chair.
I remembered many things in a rush of cold reality.
I remembered that it was September the 10th.I remembered that it was the date he died.I remembered, thinking how fast that two years had gone by.I remembered that this was where he had his fall.I remembered getting the phone call at work.I remember seeing him later that day at my sister’s.I remembered how battered and bruised he was.I remembered how shocked we were that he was released from emergency.I remembered how proud and how stubborn he was.I remembered just how much that I missed him.

I remembered two heart wrenching weeks in the hospital. I remembered the dedication of Dorry.I remembered the strength and humour of Gerry.I remembered the seesaw of conversations with Tim.I remembered the innocent sincerity of Anna and Erin.I remembered the love and support, and soft hands of Lana.

I remembered his amazing comeback.I remembered his helpless confusion.I remembered when we decided to let him go.I remembered saying goodbye.I remembered picking out a casket.
I remembered dinner the night before the funeral
I remembered the breathtaking sky above Lake Huron.I remembered all of us staying at the same hotel.I remembered the stories and drinks, smiles and tears.

I remembered what I wrote for the graveside.I remembered that Lana had to read it for me.
I remembered my girls holding each of my hands.I remembered, smiling, that Alec was there too.I remembered people leaving for the airport.I remembered saying goodbye.I remembered looking back as we drove out of town.

As I stepped down from the chair, our dentist Dave, I am sure unaware of the date or circumstances, asked me to “say hi to the girls” for him…and he said, “I miss having your father Norm come to see me”.
Again I paused, and he knew just how much that meant as his eyes caught mine.
“Me too Dave.” I closed the door behind me.

There is a place reserved at the front of my thoughts for the good people…

For the those who make an indelible impressionA lasting, singular imprint in the matter of my mind Who personify perspectiveAn insight into how to livewith a clear, distinct understanding that it’s cool to be kind.

For those who possess a truly honest dignitySeeing the realities of this world in the best possible light Who look ever forward Learning from life experienceguided on their unique way by a sense of what is right

For those who put othersbefore themselvesKnowing that compassion and integrityare indeed reciprocalWho expect nothing in returnbut your friendship and respectas you join them on their pathto a life that’s exceptional

There is a place reserved
for such people… at the front of my thoughts,
in the matter of my mind
And it would be my honour to continue this journey
on the same path as them