Advice for Hookups: Tactics

How-To: Be Assertive Without Being a Jerk

Whether you’re naturally a timid or assertive man, it’s important that you know how to act when you’re seeking for women. Being timid will NOT help you in your goals.

We know you don’t want to be a jerk. Believe it or not, women don’t want you to be a jerk, either. They do, however, want a man who knows what he wants, and is very determined to get it.

Tell her what you want.

It’s important to verbalize (or at least write down) what it is you’re looking for when you’re searching for Canadian girls. If you’re on a hookup site, it’s probably pretty obvious that you’re looking for sex.

However, there are a lot of things she probably still doesn’t know. Are you looking for JUST sex? Are you looking for sex only one time? Are you looking for a specific kind of sex?

If you don’t tell her, she’s never going to know—and she won’t be able to properly accept or decline your offer. Be a man and let her know what you’re looking for so you can tell for sure if she’s interested.

This doesn’t mean you have to be a jerk.

There’s a difference between being assertive and being a jerk. This is very apparent, since no woman is looking for someone that’s going to be mean to her on purpose.

You might think that all women go home with jerks, but that’s not the case. Just because you might think a man is a jerk, the woman might see him differently, or he might act differently to her, or he might be offering something that you’re unaware of.

The point is, you don’t have to be a jerk to get a woman. You DO have to be firm with your wants and desires, but that doesn’t mean you have to be cold or cruel about it.

You don’t need to swear or be lewd.

There’s a huge difference in saying to a woman, “I have some specific fantasies, and if you’re open to the idea, I’d like to share them with you,” and in saying, “I’d like to ____ you and ____ you until you ____.”

One is polite, and only offers options. She is obviously welcome to decline, which means you’re not pushing too hard or being ungentlemanly, which is very welcome for a woman.

The other one doesn’t bother with consent or politeness. The man saying these things is not to be trusted with a woman’s feelings, and she probably won’t enjoy any time spent with him.

You don’t need to share everything, either.

Being up front is great, but it doesn’t mean you have to immediately tell her everything that you’re looking for. Some things can be played close to the chest and kept for surprises.

However, you SHOULD be very up-front about anything that is a necessary deal-breaker for you. If there are things that in your mind are required if you want to hook up with a woman, she should know about them in advance, before saying “no” is rude.

You don’t want to force a woman in to a position where she feels like she HAS to accept. You want everything about this hookup to be genuine, authentic, and fun—and so does she.