Comments (3 of 3)

Keep the gathering at a neutral site so no one has the home field advantage. Obnoxious comments are easily defused by background noise, and the waiter/waitress timekeeper prevents these affairs from dragging on endlessly thereby allowing everyone to depart without using phony excuses

12:02 pm December 11, 2012

Lorraine Rolston wrote :

I just finished Elizabeth Bernstein's article with a huge sigh. Unfortunately I have no memories of "dysfunctional" family holidays. You see, my family was just like those memories of good times, holiday cheer and family togetherness - no drama, no drunken declarations of infidelity - no threats to call the police, no screaming children or conflicts over where to go. In fact one niece commented that our family was "just like the Cosby's". -- which made me laugh at all of the criticism about that show as being unrealistic in its portrayal of the black family. My family was just like that - loving holidays, mature loving adults, stable atmosphere and all.

11:52 am December 11, 2012

Ruth Nemzoff wrote :

A cost/ benefit analysis of the complaints we have about family members might serve to lessen tensions. Is allowing ourselves to be annoyed by the idiosyncrasies of families members worth the aggravation to ourselves and worth losing the relationship? If your gripes are not worth the price, try re-framing your relative's behavior-----e.g., Isn't it nice that Uncle Rich is proud of his children, rather than focusing on how annoying his bragging is.
Ruth Nemzoff, Ed.D.
Author and Speaker: Don't Bite Your Tongue: How to Foster Rewarding Relationships with Your Adult Children (Palgrave/Macmillan, 2008)
Don't Roll Your Eyes: Making In-Laws Into Family (Palgrave/Macmillan, September 2012)
Resident Scholar
Brandeis Women's Studies Research Center

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