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Poopie Inside

Recently I submitted a well-intentioned, but inept, submission to Gawker for their holiday gift guide. Therein I suggested that smoke detectors should be provided gratis to all of Josh Guttman’s tenants. I have since rethought this concept and have come up with a more appropriate gift.

Ever since the Greenpoint Terminal burned down, I have noticed a substantial increase of human effluvia and vomit on my block. Developers razing damned near half the block (to build over-priced crap no one in his/her right mind would buy) is not helping matters. For this reason, I offer the following modest proposal*:

We, the residents of Green Brown Street should send these fruits of ‘gentrification’ to their rightful owners. This piece of shit (which I found in front of 110 Green Street) would be a nice start.

Miss Heather

*In the spirit of this. I feel compelled to provide a precedent for my brand of satire because some people (bereft of a sense of humor and/or life in general) see fit to extinguish it.