Category Archives: Fantastic Crap Comics the Movie

I really wish I could make a Fantastic Crap/Architeuthis Joe movie, for a million reasons. If ever this were to happen, I’ve got a list of which actor I want for which character, as seen in previous inane and largely unread blogs on this wasteland of a blog page. Behold; my pic for Krotar, issue 3’s villain; non other than Ray Wise of Robocop and Twin Peaks fame. Some drawings of Krotar actually look a lot like Ray, we’d just paint him green and pop a big foam head on him. It would cost like, three bucks. If, for whatever reason we couldn’t get Ray Wise, my second choice would be Hugo Weaving, but the truth is that I’ve wanted Ray to play Krotar since I first made the character up way back around 1999.

For anyone who is keeping up with the most recent page updates, you’ve probably by now seen Captain Sexy, the antagonist for issue 2. Just to further help enrich the experience for you as you read through this issue, I thought I’d share with you the ideal actor to portray the Captain, if I were to ever make Fantastic Crap Comics into a feature film. If you’re familiar with his body of work, I think you’ll agree that he is THE man for the part.

BRIAN BLESSED AS………..

CAPTAIN SEXY!

So far, Blessed is the only actor I’ve expressed interest in that is still alive, which is great, since he’s also totally perfect for the role, to the point that I could not contain my enthusiasm were this to every actually happen. It would seriously make my day.

If I could make this into a feature film, and cast any actors I wish..

CHARLES BRONSONas…………………

QWAN

Charles Bronson has retired from acting, as well as being alive, so in order to cast him I’d need the time machine from Bill and Ted. It would be worth it, however, because Charles Bronson is so, so cool. Also, fun fact; Qwan’s physical appearance is inspired by Bronson’s leathery, cowboy squint.