So, Chad Ochocinco really doesn’t know the playbook yet?

“Approached Friday to comment on the situation, Ochocinco pointed to his playbook and said that once he gets that down, then he’ll be ready to talk.

He did say, “I love Tedy,” according to Comcast SportsNet New England.” ESPN.com

Chad Ochocinco is like the kid you went to grade school with who couldn’t figure out long division. He would go up to the chalk board when called upon, stare at equation with no idea where to start, then start to tear up until the teacher had to come over to console him. After a while, the kid that couldn’t do long division wasn’t called up to the board anymore, because the teacher wanted to avoid embarrassing the student. The kid would later on be dismissed out of class in order to be taught long division by a much more tolerant, patient and kinder “special” teacher. I know this because I was that kid. The process is more embarrassing than shitting your pants at recess, I swear.

And right now, Chad is about to be dismissed. Not to a special class with a hot “special” teacher, but to a scary place called free agency. It’s incredible that he doesn’t know the plays by now. Rookies are soaking in this stuff faster than the veteran Chad. Look at Gronk and Hernandez from last year for example. Gronk is denser than he looks and Hernandez was consistently stoned. But amazingly, both picked up the play book relatively fast and are now two electrifying players.

But Chad on the other hand, nothing. And it’s evident he knows nothing. His blank stare on his face, his lack of trash talk on the field, and lack of presence on the field are all resulting in him not knowing what the hell is going on. He better learn fast though, because the Pats have no problem at all cutting players into the free agent “wild”.

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It’s almost like being the kid who sits in the back row that failed a test and the teacher called you out for it and the others who failed the test. Then the teacher made you get up in front of the class with the other idiots and compete in a questionnaire stand-off to see which one of you is the smartest idiot… and basically pointing out how dumb the kids who lost are. To make matters worse, this was probably a class to get your MBA. Classic America.