The Blog

Having the “sex talk” with your child is more important than ever. There are a lot of myths about what happens if we talk to children and teens about sex and sexuality. The following are 3 of the top myths I encounter in my work. Yesterday we got news that the federal government is cutting $213.6 million in teen pregnancy …

First let’s agree that sexuality is about who children are and how they express that to the world. Also that children’s sexuality can be positively influenced (or negatively) from the time they are born. Sexuality is not just sexual orientation (who they are attracted) and it is not just about what sexual behaviors they engage in later. Those are a …

What does it mean to be a sexually healthy adult? The characteristics are broader than you may think. And, they encompass all aspects of a person’s life – behavior, relationships, sense of self, sexual health, and of course, sexual behavior. According to SIECUS (the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States), there are 37 different ways in which …

A Facebook friend recently asked her friends if teen sleepovers with significant others was a common thing now. I don’t have any data on this, so I don’t know if it’s a trend, but it is probably more common now than it was 50 years ago. Just about 99.9% of the people replying to the post answered with a variation …

In today’s world, we shame children for normal developmental behaviors and desires. We shame them for how they express who they are and whom they love. As adults, we think that shame will extinguish the we don’t like or don’t want them to feel or think. However, sexual shame doesn’t work that way. Shame is highly correlated with all sorts of negative …

Yesterday, I had the privilege to be on a panel at Vanderbilt University for their Sex Ed and Healthy Relationships Week. They are doing some fun stuff around healthy sexuality: a birthday party for The Pill and a burlesque show. They are discussing more serious topics, like interracial dating. I’m doing a talk on self-pleasuring on Friday :-). The panel last night …

Just as the seasons change, so do our children. Mine, who just turned 8 years old, would have had no compunction about streaking naked through our house. She is growing up. Last night, she called me in while she was taking a shower because she could not find the soap. As I pulled the curtain back to hand it to …

All these breakups were just announced this month! Relationships are hard y’all. Gavin + Gwen Jennifer + Ben Reba + Narvel Miss Piggy + Kermit Not that we model our lives after Hollywood! I don’t remember the last time I walked the red carpet or had 3 nannies. Do you? However, the hot and famous have to deal with relationship issues …

If you are like me and a whole lot of other folks you are watching Orange Is The New Black on Netflix. I just finished watching Season 3, Episode 10, “A Tittin’ and a Hairin.” There are many disturbing and upsetting things in this episode, including the assumption that women don’t take pleasure in sex. (trigger warning: sexual assault and …

Even if they don’t ask, do tell! Early and open communication on the topics of sex and sexuality is one of the most effective ways to preventing sexual abuse in children. Some of the earliest messages we send our children concerning sexuality come from how we hold them as babies: tenderly, indifferently, or not at all the names we give …