Dear friends,
It's us again. Sorry we've not posted for a while but it's not easy to get at Mum's computer...

We've been holed up in the greenhouse since Monday, as it's only 5' from our coop pophole and the ground outside is covered in horribly cold white stuff. Mum says we're a bit wimpy not walking around the run in chest high snow; it's all right for her- she's got wellies on & the snow's barely up to her ankles.

We're wondering if you know where we could get some platform wellies from, preferably feather-lined to keep our claws warm. Maybe then we'll go out in the snow...

Yours hopefully,
Nadia, Sophie, Holly, Tufty and Hope.

Chickens are a girl's best friend (though diamonds would be nice too!)

It’s just wrong, isn’t it, that icy cold white stuff everywhere! I fully sympathise with you. At least mummy made sure you’re in the greenhouse so you’re sheltered from that horrible freezing cold wind or that would terribly mess up your feathers, you’d end up with goose bumps! This weather won’t last long, though, the white stuff will start thawing in a few days, and in the meantime I’m sure if you look really sweetly at mummy she’ll give you extra treats (works for me every time )

As for platform wellies, I think you’ve found a niche market! Can’t advise as to where to buy them, but if you find some do please post a picture so I can show my lovely girls I’m a chamois frizzled poland so I’d need them to match my feather colour...

Now how about you explain to mummy the importance of having your own ipad with fibreoptic broadband so you can set up your own facebook page and twitter account? You never know, you may just be the next ‘grumpy cat’, except we chickens are much more interesting, of course! Just make sure your location is well hidden, don’t want just anyone finding out about us exquisite girls

The pop-hole was opened as usual, but when we looked out we were on a strange 'white' planet- no way are we going outside to eat and drink, we'll just sit here and wait to arrive back home. Primrose bravely ventured outside but avoided the white stuff by flying in a long loop to touch down in the woodstore. It was several hours before she returned, but still with an empty crop. Anyway, it all worked out fine as the very next day when the pop-hole was opened we were back on the 'green' planet. Time to eat and drink and make up for the day lost.

You're all chicken! Sure it's been chilly but here there's only been an inch of snow at most. Been put off by the sudden appearance of Flubenvet in our pellets but not going hungry because of that. The idiot humanoid has run out of corn but you can't expect much from something that hasnt even got a preen gland. The occasional supermarket bag of spinach is much appreciated though Sag Aloo wonders whether there's an ulterior motive.

PS
The eggs are now being collected in egg boxes rather than in an old mayonnaise tub. There's talk among some of the other birds that incubation is looming but we think that it's more a case of warming in an omelette pan rather than a couple of Polyhatches. The humanoid is planning on hatching some fresh menfolk which is OK by us because this incest thing is definitely unwholesome.

Hi, Aerial here,
Our human has dropped his phone in the nestbox so taking the opportunity... Not really sure why i'm in here. I'll just sit on these legbar eggs for a while.
So this white stuff is everywhere then? Bonnie tried eating some if it yesterday but apparently it just tastes like cold water. We've got plenty of cold water!
Oh, whats that? Ooooo....
No, nothing happening.
Linden says he has found something tasty so i better check it out (you never know.)
Bye, keep safe all.

Was somewhat scary here on Monday, as we looked out of the pop hole and were hurled backwards by a force 9 gale of icy wind, now no one wants that up whistling up your vent. Us 9 newbies looked at the 3 old uns, well they weren't a lot of help either didn't seem to know what was happening. Then OMG white stuff started appearing everywhere. Humans are supposed to be further up the pecking order so why cant they think of putting sides on the run or covering the whole garden. I mean we hear them by the coop/run discussing getting bits from B & Q to do just about everything, so surely that should be easy.
Anyway sent Emerald out on a scouting party, report not good, white stuff cold, wet and you sink into it, wellies are definitely needed. Quick discussion and as it was wet and frozen and we look too good to have feathers blowing about, I mean you can't go flashing your vent at anyone who happens to be passing, and we retired to the coop which is large and quite snug as our mum filled it with straw for us to ward off the chill and we must say we did have endless fun scrabbling about finding bits of corn and the odd insect or two and bits of winter greens that have been dropped.
If our human says to us once more "soon be spring" we feel a good peck may be needed as you have no idea when it will be and we will suss it long before you

Like good girls, we've been laying our ovoids for the welly wearing tall chap to collect. This week he's been going work with them in his coat pockets, what an eejit. I heard one of them cracked but when he'd checked in on his old mum, she made pancakes for him. He cleared all that horrible stuff to one side and we've been given extra corn to counteract the icy winds. Can't wait till we can get out into his garden again.
Jo, meg, mable.

Out of interest, what are these ovoid things that you mentioned?
I'm about 8 months old now & Mum keeps surreptitiously measuring the (lack of) gap between my pelvic bones when she picks me up for a cuddle. Any connection?

Yours mystifiedly (it's a word in our language..!),
Hope

Chickens are a girl's best friend (though diamonds would be nice too!)

Yours mystifiedly. Ovoid things OMG they are what humans call eggs, and they are your bargaining chip. Once you get into this egg laying lark just watch your human she/he will go all stupid telling you how clever you are, what a clever girl. Thats when the fun starts if they upset you, you can withhold egg production. Plus you must lay the occasional soft egg, to the human eye it looks normal and they grab it in their not very delicate paws and you can smirk as it breaks. The odd strange shaped egg (remember not too odd it will be painful on way out) or with the odd lump or bump on it will also get them all excited.
Put a stop to this measuring your pelvic bones, how undignified, we will lay an egg when we are ready not before.
We got out into the garden yesterday, oh the joy of mucky puddles to drink from, so much more fun than a clean drinker

Good news, the white stuff is disappearing fast!! Ok, so we live down south in mild Hertfordshire, but according to the weather chappies you should all be able to enjoy grass once more very soon!

Sooooo pleased this horrible cold weather is coming to an end! We’ve actually been outside in the garden for a short while today, whilst our run was being cleared of most of the straw that we sort of dug ourselves into over the past few days to keep warm (for the first time ever, straw was packed around the edges of our run as a warm insulator, in addition to the usual winter wind breaks), and I’m hoping we’ll never see it again, I much prefer our usual bedding, thank you very much. Still, it was useful, I’ll admit to that (insert grateful looking smiley here).

Good advice on the eggs, btw, give your humans the odd funny looking one and they’ll be quiet for hours searching the internet for reasons why, which invariable results in us getting more treats

Frizzle
PS: fresh puddles are always much nicer to drink of than our clean drinkers, there’s one particular puddle here with notes of earth worm and snail that leaves a beautiful vintage muddy finish on the palate