When women begin dating men, they have certain expectations of where the relationships will go. I’m not talking about marriage, kids and a house with a white picket fence, but when the dating is good, we assume this will lead to some sort of relationship.

In some cases, we’re right. The dates turn into Sunday nights at home watching “Die Hard” and eating Chinese food in bed together, and you no longer have to worry about who’s going to text first and if you’re going to see each other again.

In other cases, the cute dates and endless hours of conversations turns into nothing, and we’re left wondering what the hell happened and where on Earth we went wrong. Here are five simple reasons why things didn’t work out:

1. You were just an “in the meantime” woman.

An “in the meantime” woman is someone you have sex with until someone better comes along. You’re not the one, but for all he knows, “the one” might not come along for another two years. So, he needs something to occupy himself with in the meantime.

2. Your novelty wore off.

The unknown can be an exciting prospect to many men. Women who aren’t emotionally serious tend to get very boring very quickly. After all, half the fun of dating is getting to know someone over time.

My advice? Hold some cards close to your chest. He doesn’t need to see the entire deck just yet. Men have natural hunter instincts, which means making yourself too emotionally available makes everything a little bit easy.

Half the fun of the kill is the hunt. In relationship terms, that means don’t put yourself on a plate.

3. There’s someone else.

If he’s not spending his time with you, there’s a chance he is spending it with someone else. No amount of Facebook stalking or Instagram scrolling for clues will help you here. If you haven’t made it to the “exclusivity” talk, then now might be the time to bring it up.

Don’t be angry or aggressive, and definitely don’t ask him over text. Every woman has the right to know if someone she is seeing is still dating other women. If he is, then maybe now might be the time to run.

4. You were a challenge that he completed.

Men who like a challenge see women like video games. There are different levels and different cheats and codes to unlock certain compartments (if you know what I mean).

The more challenging a video game is, the longer a man will spend playing it. If he completes it in a few hours, chances are, he’ll take it back to the shop and swap it for another, more exciting one.

5. He’s just not ready for a relationship.

All men want to settle down eventually. Some men crave relationships. Others have alternative priorities, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Unfortunately for you, until they’ve checked certain items off their life to-do list, you’re just another woman who came along at the wrong time. Even men who don’t want relationships need someone to pass the time with.

But eventually, a guy realizes that dating is pretty expensive, and wasting money on a woman he doesn’t see a future with is not financially viable. Plus, he’s noticed the way you look at him, and he’s pretty sure if he keeps this going, you’re going to get emotionally attached.

So, what do you do when a man pulls away? Absolutely nothing. I once read that “If people need space, you should give it to them. If you don’t, you’ll get closer to them, and they’ll grow away from you.”

Retaliation is futile. In fact, he’s probably expecting it. When a man stops making effort, women start with the “Would you like to meet up?” messages, the casual phone calls and the three super hot Instagram updates to catch his attention. But, he saw this coming a mile away.

Contrary to popular belief, fighting for love rarely gets you what you want. Focus on your own life, and if what you had is worth saving, he’ll realize that. If he doesn’t, then I would be so bold as to say, he might not be the man for you.

There are certain words and colloquialisms I have come to accept. I stood by while the word “lol” infiltrated the Oxford English Dictionary and became a legitimate word. I accepted that “on point” has (for reasons I can’t quite comprehend) been replaced with “on fleek” and that sometimes, when complimenting my friends shoes, it’s appropriate to describe them as “hella” cute.

Based on your age (and let’s face it, Education level) you may or may not fully understand what half of this means and I suppose you don’t really need to. Though for the record, if someone tells you that “Jennifer” is “thirsty” that is not your cue to offer her a glass of water and FYI the word “basic” is basically an insult now.

The list goes on and on. Another year, another list of slang words which will probably be out of fashion faster than combat trousers and choker necklaces.

The world is forming full sentences with words which, I’m certain don’t really exist and I’m okay with that. That being said, as a lover of real words and a writer no less, I have to draw the line somewhere and I’m drawing it at “bae”.

What does bae even mean? Is it short for babe? Was the additional “b” secretly bothering everyone but me? Or perhaps the extra “b” is considered too time consuming. Though I would argue that if you can find the time in a day to flick your eye-liner and like Kylie Jenner’s latest Instagram picture, you have time to add the additional letter it takes to properly describe your boyfriend or girlfriend.

Some sources claim that “bae” stands for “before anyone else” which is marginally less irritating than a b-deficient-babe. That is until you realise how little sense that would make in a sentence. “I love my bae he’s hella cute” would roughly translate to “I love my before anyone else, he’s rather handsome” which makes about as much sense to me as a carb free diet.

Then there is the use of the word “bae” to describe inanimate objects “my bed is bae” “these cupcakes are bae” which leads me to believe there is no sentence which bae cannot be squeezed into and therefore probably no real escape from it. Bae is everything.

I had until recently made the assumption that “bae” is a term coined and predominantly used by Middle Schoolers and One Direction fans (who I can only assume use it to describe Harry Styles). A belief I held onto until the word began to infiltrate every one of my social media platforms and not sarcastically.

So it seems, much like the previously used “boo” the word bae is here to stay, if not in our actual day to day vocabulary, then most definitely in every song that is played in 20 years’ time when we ask the DJ for some “old school”.

Whilst that may not be of much comfort to those who can’t tolerate the word “bae” it’s best to remember that there was a time we thought “Fo shizzle” was here to stay, but thankfully it’s gone and we were non-the-worst for its short-lived appearance in our daily language.

I suppose when it comes to the word “bae” there are three types of people: the users, the non-users and the Danish, to whom the word means faeces (that’s poop to you and me).

There are two types of people: Those who love to date, and those who prefer to keep their options open.

The former loves the feeling of togetherness and can’t wait to walk down the aisle, buy an expensive cake and treat 200 people to dinner in order to cement their love.

The latter on the other hand, holds the belief that something better is always around the corner. These men seldom let any relationships get serious. They assume every girl they date will inevitably fall in love and want to marry them.

Ironically and rather annoyingly, many women are attracted to men with commitment issues (because let’s be honest, we always want what we can’t have).

The truth is, no matter how witty, sexy or incredibly good in bed you are, it’s unlikely you’ll ever cure him of his commitment-phobic ways. Not because it’s some incurable disease, but because these men are on a timer, which will go off when they’re ready to settle down.

Think of it like playing “pass the parcel” with 100 other girls. The music might stop on you, or it might not. All you can do is take part and hope for the best.

Instead of trying to seduce him into a relationship with you, it’s probably best you don’t invest all your emotions. Just assume if he gets over his fear of dating, he’ll let you know.

Of course, in order to do so, it’s best to know what you’re looking out for:

1. Sending mixed signals is his speciality.

Sometimes he likes you, other times he seems unaware you exist. Perhaps he’s playing it cool, he’s busy or it could be the mixed signals are just code for “he’s not that interested in you.”

It’s best not to take it too personally. After years of casual dating, he has probably mastered showing just the right amount of interest to keep you around.

2. Sex is his other speciality.

Of course he knows what he’s doing in the bedroom. He’s had a lot of practice, after all.

Most of his relationships revolve around sex.

3. He goes from hot to cold faster than your morning coffee.

He likes you. So every now and then, without meaning to, he acts like a boyfriend would.

Then, he remembers he’s not ready to commit yet, so he overcompensates by ignoring you for a few days.

All this is just so you get the wrong idea and fall in love with him.

4. All your dates are last minute, or spur of the moment.

If he remembers you at 10 pm on a Friday night, it’s because all of his better plans fell through.

Remember: A girlfriend is someone you plan adventures with. A girl you’re “casually seeing” is someone you fit around your other (more important) arrangements.

5. Most of your dates involve his bedroom.

Taking you on actual dates is a lot of effort for someone who really isn’t that committed.

6. You have never met his parents. In fact, you wonder if they exist.

His parents are off-limits.

There will be no cute Sunday dinners at his house, nor will there be afternoon cups of tea with his mom.

This is not because he’s afraid his parents might like you too much. It’s because he’s afraid you’ll read into this and assume he likes you more than he actually does.

7. The word “relationship” is not in his vocabulary.

Don’t bother asking where this is going. You’ll probably just scare him off.

If you’re wondering why you’ve never spoken about “where you stand” or “if you’re exclusive,” I assure you, it’s not because he’s waiting for you to bring it up. He’s avoiding the conversation like Martha Stewart avoids her taxes.

Just remember, life is not an Oasis song. You’re probably not going to be the one who saves him.

Sure, he might realize you’re different from every other girl he’s met before. He might decide to give up his anti-relationship beliefs and give monogamy a try. Or, he might waste two years of your life.

I always believed optimism was something only endlessly happy people had mastered; whereas, pessimism was the gift of the constantly miserable. After all, it’s easy to have a happy outlook on the future when you are already happy.

But what if your state of happiness and, in fact, the outcome of your life all depend on you? If your state of happiness is a direct result of your state of mind, then who’s to say we are not in control of how happy we choose to be on a daily basis?

It can be argued that if you think good things will happen, they will. But if you constantly expect the worst, that’s what you will get.

When we wake up in the morning, our attitude forms the catalyst for a sequence of events which determine the outcome of the rest of our day. Even the smallest shift in your emotions can be the difference between a good day and a bad one.

The problem is that, quite often, our emotions are ruled by the wrong things. Our minds become preoccupied by various issues, which seem like the center of our universe at the time, but in the large scheme of things, they can be quite unimportant.

If life is a puzzle, then remember every day is just one little piece. Even if one tiny puzzle piece doesn’t make perfect sense on its own, we have to assume it’s an important part of the bigger picture.

In failing that, when seeking your inner optimism, try to remember:

1. Everything happens for a reason.

Sometimes the reason is you are a moron and make terrible decisions. Other times, terrible things happen through no fault of your own. Although you can’t see it at the time, these things tend to have a larger purpose.

Being broken up with might lead you to the best relationship of your life. Missing a promotion might send you knocking on a different door, a better one.

Even the awful mistakes that have no obvious silver lining end up acting like life lessons, which save us from making the same mistake at a more important point in our lives.

2. Life only gives you as much as you can handle.

A tough situation won’t be the end of you. A terrible day, week or month won’t break you.

Imagine that tough times are kind of like sprinting on a treadmill: You’re exhausted and it would be so much easier to just give up, go home and lie down, but if you persevere and get to the end, you’ll be proud you made it.

3. Happiness is a choice.

Find something to be happy about in the morning. Anything.

Be happy that your eyeliner looks symmetrical; be happy that your boss is in a morning meeting and you don’t have to see him until after twelve. Be happy it’s almost Friday or your squats are paying off.

There are always things that can bring us down if we let them — things that aren’t going quite right in our lives.

The difference between a happy person and a miserable person are the thoughts they choose to give room to in their minds.

4. Nothing is permanent.

Life is in a constant state of change. Sometimes, you might be trapped in a situation that you feel will last forever.

But even the least optimistic person logically knows that nothing stays the same. No one has ever lived a life of only highs or only lows. The point is to appreciate the good times when you have them and not to let the bad times rule your life.

Sometimes, various situations consume us. They take over our minds and we become convinced we won’t be happy again. We can’t understand why things never go our way or why we never get the things we truly want.

Often, a year down the line, you won’t believe you were so upset about something which seems so trivial now.

5. You always have the final say.

There are a hundred different possible outcomes in your life, but these outcomes are not random. You get the final say in how your life turns out. You choose your career, your friends, your partners and with whom you share your life.

We don’t control everything, but we still control a hell of a lot. So stop blaming the “universe” or “bad luck” on how your life is turning out and take some control back.

If you’re not happy about something, change it. If you genuinely can’t change it, then trust that everything will be okay in the end.

I can’t promise you that it’ll look the same way you imagined, but believe it or not, it doesn’t always have to.

If you are a serial dater who never gets much further than date one or two, we can probably come to a couple of conclusions:

1) You’re attractive and potentially clever enough to get asked out on a date in the first place;

2) somewhere between getting asked out and awkwardly arguing over who pays the bill, you did something to put your date off.

Don’t get me wrong; if you don’t get asked out on a second date, it could just be you’re out of this person’s league, he or she didn’t understand your incredibly witty repertoire, or this person had to vacate the country due to some sort of legal issue he or she chose to keep hidden from you.

Or, it could be something much simpler than that.

There is a chance that whatever initial attraction these dates had for you quickly disappeared due to something you did.

As unlikely as you might think this is, perhaps, it’s best to look at some options:

1. You’re Too Quick To Point Out Your Flaws

You are a classic self-deprecator. Whether you’re self-conscious about your weight, your car or your career, you’re quick to point out these so-called flaws to your date.

In turn, you make yourself seem insecure, which, in many cases, is the biggest put-off of all.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: There’s no woman sexier than the one who is comfortable in her own skin.

2. You’re Too Quick To Write Him Off

Car not nice enough? He lives with his parents? You noticed a girl commented a bit too enthusiastically on his latest profile picture?

Suddenly, you’ve lost interest, and instead of bringing your “A” game to the date, you’ve turned up with an “it was too late to cancel” attitude.

3. You Spend More Time On Your Phone Than On The Date

We get it; you love your iPhone. But, love it on your own time.

If you’re more interested in your Instagram news feed than your date, perhaps you should have stayed at home.

Being on your phone is just bad manners.

Plus, the worst part is, you’ll probably go home and tell your girlfriends the date was “fine,” but the conversation was “dry.”

It did not once occur to you that your constant phone-scrolling is what killed the night.

4. You’re A Classic Braggart

I’m sure your intentions are good. You’re smart, funny, cook and have a fabulous sense of style, and you just want him to know that.

But, sometimes, it’s good to hold things back and let him work it out for himself.

If he spent the entire date talking about his new Audi and how well-paid his job was, you’d probably write him off as arrogant, proving a bit of modesty can go a long way.

You noticed his car without him having to mention it three times, just like he probably noticed your Louboutins without you having to casually-not-so-casually bring them up in conversation.

5. You Mentioned Your Ex One Too Many Times

For the record, on a first date, any mention of your ex is too many mentions. Fair enough, your ex was a prick, but keep it to yourself.

6. You Went Out For Dinner But Didn’t Eat

Men like girls they can eat with, not girls who will watch them eat, while they push around a caesar salad and sip on tap water.

Whatever diet you’re on this month, allow yourself a cheat meal and eat some real food.

7. You Made It A Bit Too Obvious You Were Interested

Desperation is not hot, and when it comes to showing your interest, there is a fine line between flirty and freaky.

A casual “you look nice” is always appreciated on a first date.

He probably got a hair cut and ironed his jeans, and there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging that it paid off.

Just learn where to draw the line because a “you’re so hot” followed by a “I can’t believe you’re single” and “your body is amazing” will do more damage than good.

Lastly, there is the possibility that you’re just not right for each other.

Of course, the last option is you played the date flawlessly. You are just as fabulous as you think you are, but the two of you just aren’t right for each other.

This month, prepare to have your mind blown as event company Xclusivetouch teams up with DNA Club in London to create an unusual and unique immersive party concept.

If you’re looking for a night out with a difference, then take note, because Xclusivetouch are taking clubbing to a whole new level, with a night which will tingle and tease each and every one of your senses.

On the 25th of April 2015, this 8 week pop up concept will be launching at DNA in Clapham, blurring the lines between clubbing, theatre and performance. The aptly named Mad Dames welcome you to step into their mismanaged Asylum where you are responsible for whatever may happen to you next.

Guests will be immersed through sight, smell, sound and touch. If you’re bored with Cosmopolitans, you can switch things up with an experimental cocktail from their laboratory, or simply enjoy the distinctive décor (a mix of raw metal fixtures and neon artwork).

The night also promises two shows, one at Midnight and another at 1am. The theatrical element of these performances will involve a number of acts interacting with the crowd and blurring the lines between performance and clubbing.

This is the ideal concoction on a Saturday night, you can drink, party and immerse in experimental madness.

4. The kissing selfie couples

5. The couples that celebrates every “monthiversary” with a photo collage.

I don’t know why InstaCollage was created, but for the love of God, this can’t be it.

If you want to celebrate a monthly milestone of your relationship, please do so privately.

I am willing to hear about your anniversary once a year, which is the same courtesy I extend not only to other couples, but to my own relationships, too.

6. The wedding status whores

Great. Now I’m going to have to like this just so I don’t seem bitter.

7. The on-again-off-again couple

You’ve changed your relationship status more times than Justin Bieber’s been on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show.”

Yes, everyone argues, but the rest of us have the decency to at least try to hide it from the rest of the world.

8. The “I can’t believe I’m dating my best friend” couples

Because let me tell you, your actual best friend who just read that, (the one who held your hair while you vomited up your first tequila shot, and the very same one who helped you pick an outfit for your first date with this dude) is not impressed.

9. Couples that uses “bae” when referring to each other.

I want it to end.

10. Couples that comment on every single one of each other’s photos, in case anyone missed the fact they are a couple.

We get it; you are in love and you want to make sure any “single” people who come across your other half’s Facebook page know it.

When it comes to over-sharing couples on Facebook, if you’re single, it’s a little nauseating and if you’re in a relationship, they start to make you wonder if you’re coupling correctly.

The truth is, Facebook couples make us die a little inside because while we’re busy judging them, they’re too busy being too in love to even care.

Though, in all fairness, my issue isn’t so much their inability to go five minutes without clogging up my newsfeed with their love, but rather the fact we all know they’re not doing it for the benefit of their boyfriend or girlfriend, but for the benefit of everyone else.