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Monday, 10 January 2011

Comparing Against The Worst...

Ah bless my son he is quite a character so much so the other day he got a big red stamp in his homework planner saying ¨HOMEWORK NOT DONE!¨.

Naturally I asked him what homework it was; as I had specifically discussed with him (and more than once) what homework he had at the end of the school term and I made sure he completed it before he went to stay with his father. I also repeatedly asked him if he had anymore homework outstanding throughout the holiday to which he replied ´no!´

Anyway to cut a long story short, I told him it was not acceptable (he has to take responsibility and keep on top of his homework and so on and so forth...) and he said he forgot about that specific piece of work and so on and so forth, then he dropped the line... "Well so and so (lets call him Johnny) has already had 5 detentions this year" (first year of secondary school).

Now my response was along the lines of: ¨What Johnny does is not the point; and further more do not compare yourself against the least desirable behaviour¨.

Before I lose you don´t worry this is not a post recounting tales of my home life however, the conversation did get me thinking about how sometimes some of us (me included) have a tendency to compare ourselves against the worst.

Which is not a good thing because bad behaviour is bad behaviour even if little Johnny is doing worse;

Also starting a sentence about yourself with the words... ´At least I don´t...´ or ´At least I´m not a (crackhead)´ in comparison to some other redundant behaviour is well ...superfluous because it serves no useful purpose other than to make you feel better about what you know is not greatness.

Don´t get me wrong I´m not saying Johnny getting 5 detentions is ¨the worst¨ behaviour ever however... I personally don´t want myoops! I just done it right there :-D (comparing against the worst!) ha ha -I´ll just call it example no.1! child to start getting detentions...

Example no. 2: ¨At least I don´t beat you¨ or ¨There are men out there who beat their women¨ (uttered by a cheater during the course of a relationship). As we´re all aware beating someone in general is not a desirable behaviour/action.

Now just imagine the outcome of the relationship if the focus was on desirable behaviour/action:

¨There are men out there who respect and love their women¨ who knows maybe he would have improved his relationship methods.

Example no. 3: ¨At least I look after my children¨ or ¨There are some men out there who don´t look after their children¨ (uttered by a single father during a radio show many years ago -I think ChoiceFM). As we´re all aware abandoning your children whether father or mother is not a desirable behaviour/action.

Now just imagine the outcome of the radio show if the focus was on desirable behaviour/action:

¨There are men who look after their kids and I am one of them¨ who knows maybe the radio presenter would not have said: ¨So ...that is what your suppose to do!¨ lol

Going back to my son I definitely do not want to encourage that way of thinking about school life i.e., Johnny got 5 detentions and I only got 3 so therefore I´m doing better than Johnny, I got to nip that in the bud quick time!

So anyways BDSS followers what do you think? Do you sometimes find yourself uttering ¨at least I´m not a blood sucking vampire!¨