Wednesday, November 26, 2014

The problem is that Torah marriages fail and sometimes the
husband will not give a GET. The wife then goes to people who force the husband
to give a GET that is invalid, or else, the latest is that rabbis, some of them
prominent people, declare that the marriage is over without a GET. This is
mamzeruth.

Therefore, marriage today with kiddushin can create two
things: One that the wife remarries without permission from the Torah and she
is sinning with niuf, and secondly, if she has children, they can be mamzerim.

Another aspect of the problem is that some people fear to
marry because they know that the divorce can destroy their lives and the lives
of the children and make terrible disgrace and chilul HaShem. Some people fear
because they themselves have divorced, and some people, even young ones, see
what is going on and refuse to take a chance with marriage.

There are thus many singles of all ages today. And these
singles live close to Gehenum. If they don’t date they suffer and if they do
date they suffer. Many don’t keep basic halochose because of the biological
stress. There is not proper kedusho in their lives. Some openly disregard
negiah rachmono litslon. And how does it stop with that?

The Solution:

The people who can't do Kiddushin should not do Kiddushin. If people know they can marry without
kiddushin, and leave on their own schedule, it will solve a lot of problems.
This is Pilegesh. One who is able should make
kiddushin, not pilegesh. However, we maintain, that one who will not honor
kiddushin, a woman who, if not given a GET, will find a “rabbi” to permit her
to remarry either with an invalid GET coerced, or as is happening in
Philadelphia, to just leave with no GET, then she should not take Kiddushin at
all. And if she, or a man in a similar situation, fears to make Kiddushin lest
he or she be stuck with years of aggravation until a HETER is found, and
meanwhile lives in sin, such a person is a candidate for pilegesh.

As we describe in more detail later, marrying as Pilegesh could require a GET. Therefore, I suggest that if somebody cannot have Kiddushin because they won't honor it, and cannot be alone because of biological urges, such a person is a candidate for Pilegesh. But ordinary Pilegesh can perhaps require a GET. Therefore, it must be a marriage without Kiddushin and without any Torah requirement for a GET. This requires a proper Beth Din to decide.

Who Qualifies for Pilegesh

We repeat: Pilegesh is only available for someone who cannot
commit to honoring kiddushin. This would probably include modern Orthodox
people who are not careful about negiah, who will listen to their rabbis to do
things that make invalid Gittin, or who will listen to rabbis who permit
remarrying with no GET. Such people should never marry with Kiddushin, but only
with pilegesh.

Again, we make it clear. If someone can honor Kiddushin, it
is a sin for them to refuse Kiddushin and make pilegesh. Of course, sometimes a
person is not sure about Kiddushin. Such a person must decide what to do, and
should talk to us or somebody else about the proper course of action. I would
prefer pilegesh to Kiddushin in such a case of doubt, but that is up to the
person involved and whose who advise him.

What Will Happen Without People
Doing Pilegesh?

What is happening now that there is no pilegesh? People are
marrying with Kiddushin, and making invalid GETS or are leaving with no GET, or
are going to a “Beth Din” that claims that if the husband refuses to issue a
GET, it will issue it in the name of the husband, and pretend that the husband
who refuses to give a GET and says that he does not want to give a GET is not
telling the truth and the truth is that he wants it! And of course there is the
old standby of Rackman who promised every lady her freedom when she wants it.
He just blew away the marriage. And if the wife protests that she had children
with the husband and if the marriage is gone retroactively the children are
born out of wedlock. Rackman assured her that his piece of paper takes away the
marriage only when issued, and before then she was completely married! What
this means is that the Torah is mistaken in its attitude towards Gittin, and
the modern rabbis must redo the mistakes of Moshe and the Talmud. It is pure
apikorsus.

Thus, pilegesh is important because the generation, with all
of the gender battles, is unable to tolerate the woman suffering in marriage
more than the man. Pilegesh will allow the woman to leave when she wants. This
will restrain the ardor of the modern rabbis to redesign the Torah with new
levels of apikursus.

What is the Actual Act of Creating
Pilegesh?

The actual act of creating pilegesh is a clear commitment on
the part of the husband and wife of the following:

1.They will live together as
man and wife, but without kiddushin.

2.They will sign a document
signed by witnesses and preferably a Beth Din, that they commit themselves to a
relationship without kiddushin. And even
though some may feel that people living as husband and wife automatically
become Kiddushin marriage, because nobody wants to live without Kiddushin, and
thus zenuse, the couple declares that it is not making kiddushin, but is doing
what they are advised to do, to be without kiddushin, as pilegesh.

3.The couple is to declare
that even if one of them decided to have relations with the idea of making with
it a Kiddushin, the other person would object, and there would be no kiddushin.
But furthermore, each side commits to refrain from doing anything that could
create kiddushin. And thus, the couple marries with pilegesh with the chazoko
that they do not want kiddushin and should not be suspected of making
kiddushin.

4. Should people taking the path of pilegesh inform others about it? Of course,
the first couple to make pilegesh will probably not be prepared to announce
such a thing. On the other hand, if we can publicize the importance of saving klal
yisroel from becoming two nations, one considered by the other to be possible
mamzerim, the idea of pilegesh will become accepted. And if nobody accepts it,
I will publicly call for pilegesh, for the sake of klal yisroel, and for the
sake of the people who should not sin by taking kiddushin.

5.At this point, whereas
people have not made pilegesh marriages for generations, we have to be careful
and think how to prepare the pilegesh arrangement.Somehow we have
to make the idea a solution for a Jewish people torn to pieces by Kiddushin.
Those who can maintain Kiddushin should not take pilegesh, it is probably
sinful to do so. But one who cannot take kiddushin has a sin for taking
kiddushin, and such a person should prefer pilegesh.

6.Kiddushin has many
conditions, the consent of both parties, the action of the husband the consent
of the wife, witnesses, etc. Pilegesh depends basically upon the intent of the
two sides to enter into a marriage where they are loyal to each other and act as husband and wife. Once pilegesh smells like zenuse it is zenuse. But for a
yiras shomayim who is terrified of kiddushin for good reasons, and who is
terrified of the sins of the single scene, pilegesh is a holy thing.

7.And for someone who can
tolerate kiddushin, and decides to do pilegesh, that is a sin.

8.We must emphasize this
otherwise pilegesh becomes a destructive force, affecting the holy of holies,
kiddushin.

Should We Publicize Pilegesh?

If we publicize and know about the divorces and the invalid
divorces and the remarriages without the Torah’s permission and have no
solution for it, why should we not publicize that there is hope for the poor
suffering people who are trapped in singledom and sin regularly and who knows
what sin they will do tomorrow?

We want to empahsize one thing: The laws of people marrying or having relations without kiddushin have, throughout th generations, been with various opinions. Some said that people living together are automatically married with Kiddushin, and others disagreed. Some said that secular marriage makes kiddushin and some disagree. Some feel that Pilegesh requries a GET, because the couple wants a Torah relationship. But our permission of using Pilegesh means a Pilegesh type of relationship with the condition that there is no kiddushin ever to come from it, and that a Beth Din before the Pilegesh type of relationship clearly clarifies that there will never be an obligation to give a GET when the relationship ends. There will never be mamzerim from it. Therefore, if a couple marries say with secular law, and clearly states that they want only a marriage of secular law and not kiddushin and not anything that would require a GET, we have at least established that the children are not mamzerim. Because it is harder to make a mamzer than to make a sin of adultery because a doubtful mamzer is permitted by the Torah and forbidden only by the rabbis But a question of a married woman if she is divorced is a very serious matter that must be considered forbidden. But if a Beth Din clarifies that the couple has clearly stated that they do not want any kind of marriage that demands a GET, and if there is a GET the marriage is a mistake and invalid, we have gained a lot. And since I, and not some major Rov, is saying this, there will hopefully be no uproar about it, because basically I am saving mamzerim. And again, anyone who can have Kiddushin and makes Pilegesh has a sin. And if somebody has Pilegesh and does not clarify clearly in a way satisfying to a proper Beth Din that the marriage does not require a GET, that surely is a sin.

NEW BLOG TO STOP DRAFT OF WOMEN IN US

There is a grave danger of women being drafted in US for the following reasons:

1) As of Jan 2016 the Obama administration and military generals have decreed that there is no longer a difference in combat between men and women

2) The Supreme Court ruled previously that if women are able to enter combat they can be drafted.

3) For an Orthodox woman to be drafted is a cardinal sin, one that may bring about terrible things such as suicide. The depression of a decent girl being among men who do what they want will surely result in suicides.

4) In Harvard University the President, a woman, recently publicly bemoaned a study that showed that 71 percent of Harvard women suffered from s abuse, and that twenty percent of the abusers were faculty members of Harvard! The military is much worse than Harvard, because men in combat are ferocious in their passions.

4) WE HAVE MADE A NEW BLOG womenmakewar.blogspot.com . Please go there and see the various sources for the above, and enter any questions or comments that you may have.

IF YOU WANT TO HELP! CALL ME AT 845-578-1917 or write to me at eidensohnd@gmail.com .

THANK YOU

Rabbi Dovid E. Eidensohn

Rabbi Dovid Eidensohn has written Hebrew and English halacha and hashkofo books, which are graced with haskomose from Gedolei HaDor of the past and present generations. Rabbi Moshe Feinstein zt"l wrote, "The Rav HaGaon is known to me for many years, as one who delves deeply to clarify complex halochose." Rabbi Eidensohn has 250 videos on youtube.com/mons5555. He is now involved with broken families and divorces, especially the halachic issues. HaGaon Rav Yosef Shalom Elyashev zt"l conveyed upon Rabbi Eidensohn the right to be a Rosh Beth Din in Gittin and to use Rav Elyashev'a name as endorser.

Jewish Outreach Congregation Program

The Jewish Outreach Congregation is a "synagogue without walls" for searching people. Rabbi Dovid Eidensohn has published books in Hebrew and English on family, marriage and other important topics. He is heavily involved in media as he was trained by Geonim Reb Moshe Feinstein, Reb Yaacov Kaminetsky, and Rav Shimon Schwab, all of the zt"l.

Rabbi Eidensohn was a close Talmid of the Gedolim of the past generation and lihvadil this generation. He struggles to maintain the high standards he received from them, but is convinced that there are great problems today in halacha, marriage and other critical issues. He has for many years spoken out and fought for old values.

Today, the hope is to expand the efforts in writing and media to get individuals who share Rabbi Eidensohn's ideas. We want to make a Torah that gives a person true success in Torah, a fine parnoso, Shalom Bayis and success with children, and general abilities to deal with the physical and intellectual problems of the world.