Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands. Deuteronomy 7:9

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Warning! Sharp turn ahead.

Welcome back to my roller coaster. Thank you all for your encouraging comments and prayers. I kinda left you hanging, didn't I? Hopefully, this post will bring you up to speed.

By New Year's Day, Lindsey had come to me a few times to strike a bargain for their return to Arkansas. Can you meet halfway? What if dad pays for your gas? Can you talk to him? He offered to pay for the gas if I would bring them back. He can't get off work to come. I told him that I had to rent a car for the trip because we weren't sure ours would make it. He offered to pay for the rental. I asked if he could wait until the end of the week when I get my paycheck. He agreed to wait, but I was running out of time. They were going to miss three days of school.

Even after Lindsey's dad had some rather choice words for her, which I simply cannot bring myself to repeat (ugly, vile, repulsive characterizations of her womanhood) she was still considering going back to live with him. Not only did he violate her sense of worth with his vulgarity, but he also spewed it at me loudly enough for her to hear. Now it's one thing to have him say those things about me, but his own daughter? There are no words to describe what it's like to see your child ripped to pieces by the very animal who had tried in the same manner to shred your dignity. No words, only tears. The pain on her face strengthened my resolve.

I had almost given in once again, and I could not let it happen this time. What difference does it make what I believe if I don't stand my ground? What kind of mother would take her children and leave them with someone she can't trust? I explained to the girls why it would be a terrible mistake to do what they were asking me to do. I know what the Lord expects of me, and I will never again bow down to any other.

Another phone conversation with their dad had him telling me that it would destroy Sarah to make her stay here. He wants her to be happy, and she isn't happy here. And they don't like Carl. (These are lies he tells himself so that he can play the hero.) I told him that Sarah was thinking about staying. Well, obviously, I misunderstood. What she meant was she's thinking about thinking about staying. Bless her heart.

I explained (unsuccessfully) to him that what will destroy Sarah is allowing her to have her own way when it goes against what she knows is best for her. I told him that she does not need to be rescued and he will always be her hero, no matter what. If they resent anybody it'll be me, and I've got no problem with that. I know that eventually they'll get over it. If he would encourage her to stay with her mother (which he agrees would be good for her), she would realize that we both have her best interests at heart. I want her to be happy, too, but I want her to be happy making wise decisions.

But it's not fair to her, says he, if Lindsey gets to decide where they live because Sarah hasn't done anything wrong. She shouldn't be punished. Who said anything about punishment? I guess making your child brush his teeth or eat his veggies is also a form of punishment, since most kids really don't want to do those things. Let's just set her up for the rudest of awakenings, why don't we? Let us not just let her think she can do no wrong, let's tell her so. Let us feed her Satan's deception on a big ol' happy plate and see where that leads her. Oh, HELL no.

So he says to me, "How 'bout this. If it's God's will for them to stay there, then something will happen to me to prevent me from coming. Otherwise, I'll be there Saturday."

Saturday came, and Sarah started packing. Lindsey had decided that she was going with them (that girl is just too much like her mother, God help her) until their dad called and told Sarah that he had gotten a restraining order on Lindsey's boyfriend. Whoops. Another lie. Turns out it was just a threat. While he's telling her she can come back if she wants to and he wants her there, he made the decision for her. Stay in Georgia or your boyfriend might go to jail. Which would you choose? This time she chose to stay, and she doesn't want to see her dad again. I prayed aloud that God would stop the insanity and keep him from coming.

He showed up at 11 pm and called Sarah's cell phone to let her know he was at the end of the driveway. Wouldn't even come to the door to help her with her bags. I gave him a nice lecture about that. This is the kind of treatment she should expect from her hero? No man is going to disrespect my daughter on my watch. Surely he wouldn't allow her to go on a date with someone who wouldn't even come to the door for her. He came to the door, but he wouldn't come in the house. Then he asked me to send Lindsey outside. How Jerry Springer of him.

So here's the deal. He gave his word that he would have Sarah call me every day, read her Bible, and go to church. She promised she would. I promised to come get her if I don't hear from her. She'll be back. It's only a matter of time.

Wow - I'm sorry your living on such a roller coaster. When you said, "What difference does it make what I believe if I don't stand my ground?" it made me think of something my mother used to say when she had to tell my kids things they didn't like: They might not like me, but they're going to respect me.

It's Not About Me!

Okay, well some of it is... but mostly, it's about God. For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations. So amazing is His grace that He would save a wretch like me!