Overcoming F.E.A.R.

Overcoming F.E.A.R. (False, Evidence, Appearing, Real) is one of the most difficult things we can do in adulthood. Worry is the most unproductive human activity. Fear is a test of commitment and a way to focus your attention on answering the question: “Is this what I really want?” For example, when we want to start something new, like a job search, we hesitate. Here’s how to combat it.

The Comfort Zone

Facing our fears means stretching ourselves and stepping outside our “Comfort Zone.” Begin by acknowledging the borders of your Comfort Zone. By moving in and out of your current Comfort Zone, you can grow and expand the size of it. Focus on the fact that you are doing something important and that you are breaking out of the Comfort Zone. You can then pull back, replenish your emotional resources and then get ready for another push forward. The Self becomes stronger when you come out at the end of a change or crisis, better and more equipped to handle the next adversity. With gentle persistence you can stretch your limits.

Shift your attention to the positive and remember why you are dong this thing that makes you uncomfortable. Dr. Jeffrey Hull states, “Think how this could be the best thing that ever happened to you. If you view it the right way, fear is a gift. It’s an opportunity. It’s your body saying you’re about to step outside your comfort zone. It’s about giving yourself permission to grow.”

Tony Robbins says , “Fear is adversity tested. The way to overcome fear is to train yourself to be emotionally and mentally fit. How do you approach adversity? Reflect on how you manage your emotions. Find your best emotional pattern and condition it to handle adversity. The way to deal with fear is to find a way to get outside yourself. This usually means living a life of gratitude.”

Visualize

If you really want to overcome your fear, only focus on the end goal. Visualize the ideal. Visualize yourself in your new job. Visualize happiness and success. Expect a positive outcome. Fixate on what you feel the most passionate about. Focus on what’s more important to you than the actual fear. Commit to the more constructive and important result. Concentrate on what you want. Don’t waste your emotional energy on what you don’t want! Olympians practice Visual Motor Rehearsal (VMR). They run their events in their mind. If they go their in the mind, they tend to go their in the body. Obsessing about success, tends to bring success.

Be Free to Fail

If you have not failed at something, you’re not trying hard enough. If you want to be successful, you have to give yourself multiple chances to blow it. It’s been said that success is the first attempt after failure. The biggest failure is to not try again. The more chances you have to take chances, the greater the chance for eventual success. Setbacks can help you make future strategic moves.

Embrace Risk-Taking and Sacrifice

When you risk, you loosen your hold on what you’re certain of and you reach for something which you’re not sure of, but you believe is better than what you have. Without fear, there is no courage. Avoid thinking small and eliminate all career limiting beliefs. You have to give up something familiar in order to learn, grow and change. This can feel uncomfortable. However, living a life in hesitation, avoidance and procrastination is no way to live. Just ask yourself, “What is the worst that can happen?”

Analysis and Action Plan

Ask yourself, “If I want to make this change, what do I have to gain as a result? What’s on the other side?” Can I really stick it out in this job for another five years? If I don’t leave now, when will I leave?” Focus on your past successes and achievements. They are sources of strength. Make a list of some of your key accomplishments and then list the barriers. Write down what actions did you take to overcome them, and then apply those lessons to your current situation. Set a deadline when you will stop analyzing the situation and begin to write an action plan. Determine which decision will lead you to achieving your goals. Take the action-plan and chunk it down into micro-steps so small that there is no room for failure. Be an incrementalist and concentrate only on one step at a time. If necessary, pretend that you have the courage to overcome the anxiety with a “fake it ‘till you make it” approach. Say to yourself, “Screw it, I’ll just do it.” Be careful with whom you share your fears and dreams. Make sure you choose people you trust that can provide objective advice and encouragement. Prayer and meditation can also be a tool to address fear, stress and anxiety. Muster the courage to face down your fear. The result will be increased self-confidence to tackle increasing challenges.

Self-confidence

Let fear energize you to face the challenges head-on. Keeping your self-confidence and optimism high is critical. By revisiting past successes, strengths and accomplishments, you can move forward and conquer your fears. Having a positive sense of Self can help you take calculated risks. Peak performance requires confidence. A positive attitude can crush fear. I encourage you to erase the tapes of negative self-talk. Avoid all self-doubting thoughts which turn into self-doubting language. Fear can stem from a lack of confidence. This may be the result of a lack of experience of trying something new. For example, you may have been afraid of driving for the first time, but after you gained some experienced you gained confidence. Act brave until you feel brave. Let the fear energize you to action. I encourage you to have a rich life, free of irrational fear.

Tom’s Tip: “Our problem is not to be rid of fear but rather to harness and master it.” – Martin Luther King Jr.