Girls emotions in one bucket

Girls emotions in one bucket:

Here comes a story of my friend;

In my life, I have been ruled by fear — a powerful, underlying emotion that has determined much of behaviour. I was never conscious of this driving force, until a year ago when my greatest fear was realized.

After an emotional roller-coaster ride, my first long-term, romantic relationship ended. My deepest insecurity was confirmed: I was unlovable. My previous fear of loss had now become an unbearable reality.

I felt as though my world ended as if all the love I’d known had been snuffed out. My greatest dream — to be loved and accepted — perished, when “the one” told me that we couldn’t work out.

In spite of his willingness to let me go, I held onto him, to the hope that this despairing situation would somehow turn around. If only I could win back his heart.

My close friends simultaneously encouraged me to let go. After all, he had already articulated his belief that we would be better off as friends, and I needed to respect his decision. Although surrender seemed impossible at the time, my first milestone toward healing eventually came in the form of a painful self-discovery: I had failed to love him as a friend.

To my shameful acknowledgement, my motivation for holding on was actually self-serving. Even after our relationship ended, I wanted to feel loved; I clung to him because I had become emotionally dependent on him to make me feel loved and secure. I was afraid to lose him, fearful that I would never again experience true love.

Then God shined a light on my heart during this dark time. I read “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear … whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” And fear motivated me to continue to hold onto this relationship.

When we have love in our hearts, there will be no room for fear. If I truly loved this, then I would have no fear in my heart that he may never return my affections. Instead, I would desire his ultimate happiness, independent of me.

Thus, I committed myself to let him go — not because he was no longer dear to me, but on the contrary, I was determined to learn to love him better...

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