Monday, February 9, 2015

"Creating a Community of Support" by Daniel Atwood - Yeshiva University Commentator 1/28/15

The author discusses the words of R' Willig (a Rosh Yeshiva) of Yeshiva Universityon treatment of LGBT Jews. This article seems to be very pertinent and onewhich holds our leaders accountable. Moreover, he discusses how being inan environment that is NOT respectful or supportive can have strong negativeconsequences on an LGBT individual. In addition, he discusses the danger ofleaders using "they" as if they are not present or a part of the community.Please take a read and share.

"As 2014 ended, so did the life of Leelah Alcorn, a 17 year

old transgender girl from Ohio who committed suicide after

a short life of suffering. Her suicide made waves, trending

all over national news and social media. In her final words,

Leelah describes herself as feeling rejected by her parents,

aloof from her friends, and as having no choice but to end her

own life.

With Leelah’s story in mind, I want to address the YU

community regarding a sensitive and important issue: creating

a community of respect and support on our campus, especially

for LGBT students. I do so with the utmost humility and

respect for the YU community, which is usually wonderful, but

sometimes treacherous.

I presume that my readers understand the difference between

condoning a specific political or Halakhic position and

providing support for a person struggling through a difficult

period in their life. I do not intend to propose anything radical

on a policy level, but rather to make a statement that all of

our community’s members have the right to feel respected,

dignified, and, most of all, safe.

If creating a supportive community for all is not a value you

share, then I realize that nothing I say will convince you otherwise.

However, in the spirit of “love your neighbor as yourself”

and “loving the widow, orphan, and stranger,” two major Torah

concepts (the former being the most important according to some),

I believe we must discuss how we can create more support on campus

for those who feel marginalized.

Issues related to sexual orientation and gender identity relate

to a theological struggle of mine. I cannot understand why

the Torah, which Orthodox Judaism believes to be divine,

forbade homosexual activity.While the laws in the Torah

are often very cryptic, the law proscribing male homosexual

behavior is explicit. I wish there were a compelling alternative

interpretation of that verse in Leviticus, unfortunately I have

yet to find one.

However, the verse is not the end of the story,

because the fact of the matter is that in both our community

here at YU and in the broader Modern Orthodox community

there are LGBT Jews. We must take steps to support LGBT

people in our community, despite the fact that Leviticus will

always be an elephant in the room.

According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC), lesbian,

gay, and bisexual youth are at least twice as likely to attempt

suicide as their heterosexual peers. At least 25% of transgender

youth have attempted suicide.

LGBT youth in non-supportive atmospheres are also at a

heightened risk of depression, substance abuse, and risky

sexual behaviors. At the risk of sounding hyperbolical, these

numbers highlight the gravity of this issue. Ensuring that this

subset of our population feels safe is of utmost importance.

In Halakhic terms, it is a matter of Pikuah Nefesh, saving lives.

Because of the religious nature of our community, LGBT

issues are obviously more complicated than in secular

communities. An LGBT student at YU presumably has

significantly more struggles than an LGBT student at some

other colleges.

Therefore we invest an extra effort to make sure that all

of our friends and community members know that

we support them, no matter which issues they face. Whether, I​

a student is openly gay, in “the closet,” the family member of

someone who is LGBT, or questioning their sexuality, they

should know that our community supports and respects them

and recognizes their struggles.

Unfortunately this is not always the case in the YU community.

Certain rabbis at YU have a history of making comments

about LGBT students that display neither support for them nor

sensitivity for their struggles.

When religious leaders make statements that are damning

of our LGBT members or their struggles, they are targeting

those who are most vulnerable, modern day orphans and widows,

underprivileged groups the Torah requires us to protect. Even

worse is when LGBT community members become a distant “they,”

presumed not to be sitting in present company, which totally

delegitimizes their struggles and identity.

I wish I did not have to mention any specific instances, but

I feel that I must speak out. I mean no disrespect whatsoever

towards the rabbi to whom I will refer. My intention is to raise

awareness about a very serious issue, not to engage in

debate with a prominent rabbi.

In a recorded question-answer session that took place in an

American post-high school yeshiva, Rabbi Mordechai Willig,

a Rosh Yeshiva and community rabbi, discussed issues related

to LGBT people in our community. I was no surprised that

the views he expressed were hard-line.

I will not argue with his opinions, as the differences between

us are too fundamental. However, I must take issue with the

tone employed and with the context in which these comments

were made.

In the talk there seemed to be a lack of sensitivity towards

the struggles that LGBT community members face. Answers

were brash and black-and-white. Rabbi Willig dismissively

calls gay couples an “oxymoron.”

He states very emphatically that a transgender male is a “she,”

and is shocked that he even received such a question, emphasizing

with bewilderment “I kid you not, this is a real

(emphasis in original) Shaylah!” (Halakhic inquiry).

With these words he delegitimizes not only the struggles of

LGBT people, but their very existence as such.

By acting as if transgender issues are unbelieveable or even

humorous (the audience laughs when Rabbi Willig calls him a

“she”), he denies that this is a fundamental struggle that many

people in our community deal with on a daily basis.

Most disturbingly, when a student sincerely asks about

gay couples coming into synagogue, Rabbi Willig states

facetiously that he does not think gay men should sit on the

same side of the Mehitza (gender partition in synagogue). The

room, populated by immature 18 year old students in Israel,

bursts into a laughter that lasts seven seconds long.

Maybe they think jokes about gays are funny. Maybe,

for one of them, it was nervous laughter as he was quietly

hurting inside. These remarks do not create a situation in

which all the members of our community feel safe and respected.

Though sexual orientation or gender identity is not an issue with

which I struggle, I am definitely no stranger to the concept of

struggling to find my identity within the Orthodox community.

“Coming out” about my personal religious struggles to my

friends was hard but, thankfully, today I am very happy and

blessed. Knowing that I had friends and mentors--including

professors here at Yeshiva University--to whom I could turn

is what inspired me to remain strong.

Everybody has a right to feel safe, respected, dignified, and

supported in our community. While I do not think my struggles

were as fundamental as the struggles my LGBT friends face,

I use the comparison to my own struggles as an attempt at empathy.

When the struggles of my LGBT friends and neighbors are invalidated,

I am hurt for their sake. Furthermore, I feel as if the struggles that I

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