This blog follows the progress of Milo & Madeline Stiles, born in June 2008 at 25 weeks, 2 days gestation, for their friends and family and anyone else who'd like to know about life with premature kids.
Please visit http://www.altabatessummit.org/nicuedu/fac.html and consider making a donation to assist NICU families at Alta Bates Summit Medical Center.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

If all goes as planned, and - hey, why wouldn't it? - I'll be getting back to doing blog posts on a more regular basis. As I mentioned in the last post, the updates going forward will be more of a picture book. I'll still be providing some reflective information here and there about parenting, but I'll be more respectful of the kids' privacy now that they're getting older.Along those lines, a few months back I was asked to write an article for the NICU Family
Advisory Council at Alta Bates (birth place of M&M). There's a lot
out there on premature birth, but nearly all the accounts are from the
mothers' perspective. Nothing wrong with that, but I thought it would be
a good thing to share the dad side of things. It's a bit long, but
give it a read (ignore the errata on page 4 - we're a low budget
operation). You can find it here. On with the show.

Milo at Dennis the Menace Park in Monterey - February 2015

M&M together at the park, Monterey, CA - February 2015

February 2013 - Milo doing his homework. At this point, I'm still able to provide him some assistance. By next year, the 1st grade curriculum will likely exceed my bandwidth.

Botanical Gardens at Tilden Park. Berkeley, CA - Spring 2014.

Spring 2014 - Train trip to Sacramento with some good friends

Summer 2014

Milo, Maddy, and Nora hit up some sweet trails in Oakland. Summer 2014

The kids just haven't taken to yard work as hoped. The only way to get Maddy to push the mower around was to allow her to go barefoot. Even then she had a real chip on her shoulder about. And Milo mixed my drinks way too weak!

Great Moments in Fatherhood

Chapter 82

When the kids first got their fish tanks, the occasional death of a fish met with a shrug from M&M. So, last spring, when one of Milo's five red platys bit the dust, I dutifully scooped him out, walked down the hall (probably whistling), and gave him the typical gold fish burial at sea. When I emerged from the bathroom, Milo's jaw was wide open and - between his sobs - he pointed at me and said, "You [sob]! You flushed Robin down the toilet!" He was right, of course, that's exactly what I did. I tried to settle him down, I think I told Milo there were "other fish in the sea" (not helpful), and I read him a Berenstein Bears book about the death of the family fish. When you hate the Berenstein Bears as much as I do, that's real sacrifice. Unfortunately, the book involved a complex burial and Milo was pretty upset that we didn't offer Robin the full Berenstein funeral rights. I promised him we would next time, and explained that there are many valid burial traditions. He needed to keep an open mind. After all, daddy was merely using the crappy-insensitive-father-who-didn't-consider-his-five-year-old-son's-feelings ceremony. Then things went from bad to worse. After stories, Milo went to use the potty and sitting there in the bottom of that lousy, low flow California toilet was that dead fish. Not good. I spent the next hour constructing a small coffin out of a cardboard, digging a grave, and ensuring a proper headstone marked the spot. Of course, within a couple days, a raccoon dug up the grave, tore open the casket, and ate whatever was left of Robin. I discovered this as the kids were walking out our back door toward the grave to pay their respects. Naturally, I quickly kicked the remnants of the match box coffin under the grill with one foot, and then pushed sand back in the hole with the other. Somehow, the kids never noticed.

Batman, Cat Women, and Joker all died a short time later. Those "burials" went much smoother.

Maddy gets tatted up. Summer 2014.

Milo and Dad built this sweet tower on a visit to the Lawrence Hall of Science.

Maddy makes a friend.

Milo and Nicola playing at the Oakland Museum of Science during First Friday. Spring 2014.

I don't let my son drink from just any toilet. Milo at the San Francisco Exploratorium. Summer 2014.

Visit to the Steep Ravine Cabins. Stinson Beach, July 2014.

Breakfast overlooking the ocean at Steep Ravine.

One of many summer visits to Happy Hollow in San Jose. Summer 2014.The kids were big enough to ride the roller coaster alone.

And merry-go-round.

Maddy cruises the Bay Farm path with dad. She's gotten to be a pretty solid rider. This was one of her last rides on a her little 16" bike before stepping up to the 20" cruiser.

Elaine and Maddy at the Oakland Pedal Festival. July 2014.

The annual visit to New England. Milo, Maddy, and Grandpa getting silly at Mystic Seaport. August 2014.

Milo & Zakk hanging out in Orleans, Cape Cod, 2014.

Maddy and Nova.

Maddy & Mom.

M&M & Uncle Nate

Uncle Armin and Maddy.

Even more Cape Cod.

Maddy demands payment. Kid City, Middletown, CT.

M&M hook up with Ella for a visit to Storyland. Jackson, NH. August 2014.