Postal Service - helping an endangered species

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Published 4:00 am, Sunday, November 27, 2011

-- Create an intriguing holiday hubbub - hey, there's a crowd, let's join in - by showing up at your nearest post office during peak hours and inquiring at length about arrangements for shipping your dachshund to Milwaukee.

-- Be sure to wear a festive hat and bring the clerk a cookie.

-- If cookies are unavailable, leftover Halloween candy will do.

-- Prove you're a proud American by affixing a variety of small denomination stamps - every one printed in America - to your holiday cards. If the postal service goes belly up, unused stamps may be presented by your grandchildren as collectors' items on "Antiques Roadshow" someday.

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-- Mail unsolicited holiday catalogues back to their senders.

-- Tie all packages with string. This is against regulations, but informing you that the package is unacceptable will make some clerk's day.

-- If you eschew string, use leopard-print wrapping tape, which will amuse postal clerks and delight leopards.