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October 4, 2007, 12:02 pm CDT

Clearly Needs Help

The axioms "actions speak louder than words" and "a photograph is worth a thousands words" more than fit this sad situation. What we have been hearing and seeing about this very talented young person in recent months describes the slow-motion fall of a troubled post-adolescent with substance abuse problems; not a mature and responsible professional woman, wife and mother. Marriage and children do not automatically confer maturity adulthood on anyone, but especially on self-absorbed entertainers who have too much success too soon, and who lack the education, experience and perspective to manage their personal and professional lives competently.

IMO Ms. Spears' multimillion dollar empire has rendered her family, sycophant "friends" and employees unable and/or unwilling to stand up to her and get her to face her problems head-on. I hope that someone like Dr. Phil will be able to reach her in time to save herself, her children and her career before they disappear for good. My prayers are with her.

Been There, Done That On This One

Is there a dating double standard? Absolutely. At age 61, this long-divorced and childless female has seen and heard about it all from men, other women and her own experience. Examples follow:

the online dating service prospects who've lied about their ages, marital status and incarcerations, much less everything inbetween;

the married colleagues who've suggested that we work together in my/his room during business trips;

the men whose eyes dart around the room and then excuse themselves from my side after learning how old I am;

the younger men looking for a sugar mama, and the much older ones seeking "a nurse with a purse";

the friends' husbands who've quietly offered their sexual services to relieve my "frustration", or their own boredom with an affair on the side;

the clergyman who offered to hear my confession and offer his counsel alone in my home after his kids were in bed;

the fears and unfounded suspicions of women with spouses or SO's who don't invite single/divorced/widowed women to participate in neighborhood couples' social events; and

the eligible men who've disappeared after being informed that getting tested for STIs and using condoms will be necessary for sexual intimacy. You should hear some of the responses I've gotten as to why these precautions are unnecessary with older women. I swear, the ignorance fairly oozes.

I could go on, but you probably get the idea. The older a decent single woman is, the harder iit is to find an equally decent single man.

I don't go to bars (or drink); hold to preconceived ideas about "suitable" age, occupations or physical appearance; or go out with female friends in a posse: all are notions that don't work. I'm a decent and attractive lady who is comfortable with living on her own, but I still would like to find a good man who really wants to grow old with me. I've just about given up on the idea, but I'm looking forward to Dr. Phil's show on older dating to see what else I can do. Sure, I'm getting up there, but I'm not too old to learn something new.