On College: Here come high school finals

By Purvi S. Mody

Daily News columnist

Posted:
12/03/2012 07:39:32 PM PST

Updated:
12/03/2012 10:35:35 PM PST

Q: My sophomore son is struggling in a couple of his classes this semester. His finals are in just a few weeks and we are not sure how to help him. It seems like he is spending the time, but just not getting the results.

A: School is stressful enough, but final exams bring another layer of complexity and anxiety for many high school students. Unfortunately, many students put off dealing with that stress by trying to ignore or push off studying until the very last minute, which does not yield the best results. It is important to sit down with your son and help him prioritize what needs to get done and when. Even though finals are approaching, chances are that he has a slew of projects, exams and quizzes all on his to-do list.

Go through each of his classes and see where he stands numerically. Calculate exactly what he needs to get on each final to get the desired grade. He may find that he has a very solid grade in a few of his classes, and those classes will not require as much focus. This does not mean do not study for those classes; rather, prioritize the classes where the final will make the difference. He may also find that he needs to get an unattainable grade on the final to get a specific grade. While that might not be the best news, it is important to be realistic and set expectations so he does not feel like he is spinning his wheels.

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If you are worried about your son failing a class, a call or meeting with the teacher is in order. The teacher will let you know if it is important for your son to be present for that session. Teachers generally do not want their children to fail, especially students who are trying their best.

If your son has missing assignments, ask if he can still turn them in even for partial credit. If he did poorly on a paper, ask if he could do a rewrite for a few extra points and for the learning. Or if there are additional problems the teacher can assign so that your son can master the content. If the teacher is not willing to give additional points or makeups, don't get upset. The teacher has to manage several classes and giving one student leeway can cause a snowball effect. Also, discuss effective studying skills and what your son can do.

Now's the time to map out what needs to get done in each class. On a paper or online calendar, have your son put down what he plans to study in preparation for finals. Note that this studying is in addition to homework, other exams, and projects. He should be pragmatic when creating this calendar; overloading his days means that he is unlikely to complete what he said he would, meaning that he might give up on his scheduling altogether.

Once you have helped him to create a plan of action, talk about distractions that can be eliminated. Children don't need their phones to study; texting has never led to a better grade.

Minimize -- but don't eliminate -- online time, so that he can be focused. Don't cut out all forms of socializing or relaxing; doing that will only get you a very angry teen.

Instead, teach him how to prioritize and be productive so that he can implement this skill as he gets older and more independent.

Do give him a little more space during this time. If he spends a few minutes less at the dinner table or stays up a little longer, let him. If he's feeling overwhelmed, he needs to find his own ways of coping. For some, that means spending more time hitting the books.

This time will pass and you will get your son back in just a few weeks. And before school starts next semester, sit down with him and reflect on what happened during the first semester so he can be in a better position the next time finals roll around.

Purvi S. Mody is co-owner of Insight Education, an educational consulting firm that helps students throughout the Bay Area to achieve their educational goals. Email her at purvi@insight-education.net.