Middle-Aged White Man Fails To Purge Himself

A reshuffle aimed at purging middle-aged white men from the cabinet has failed to purge the middle-aged white man leading it.

It is also thought that David Cameron - the man responsible for getting rid of 'the men in suits' - will continue to wear a suit at all times, and be a man.

The move is a blow to critics of the male-dominated Conservative party, which is still dominated by a male. It is also further bad news for those critical of the Tories' 'women problem', who are unhappy at the resignation of the party's favourite old woman, Kenneth Clarke.