Girl Denied Access To Prom Because Her Cans Are Too Big

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Brittany Minder was excited to show up to her high school prom and prance around in the brand new strapless number she had just purchased. Said strapless dress, as elegant as it may have been, was ill-equipped to handle and conceal Brittany’s high school Hindenburgs. School administrators responded by denying her access to the dance, citing a rule that prohibits cleavage from showing at school functions.

Brittany and her family feel that she was singled out, not because of her cleavage, but because her chest rockets are simply out of control big.

Brittany Minder of Silverdale was excited to show off her new strapless dress, but was prohibited from entering the dance because school officials felt she was showing too much cleavage.

“In my opinion, I feel that it is because I’m bigger chested and there is more cleavage that you can see, and there’s nothing I could really do about that,” Brittany told KOMO News.

I understand where the school is coming from here. Remember when I was discussing the potential hazards of Kate Upton lugging her cutters across a high school dance floor? These pervy little bastards aren’t mature enough to handle that kind of heat. The same concept applies here. Brittany Minder and Kate Upton are walking, talking sex pistols. Dangers to society.

Dillon Cheverere (@RogerJDorn) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. He's a native Texan with a full head of hair and knows his way around a nice box of red wine. Dorn graduated (BBA) with a GPA sitting in the meaty part of the bell curve, not lagging behind, but not trying to show off, either. Golf is his game now. He's long off the tee but can't putt for shit. Email: dillon@grandex.co