I recently was forwarded an article on The Ring Theory. It's a simple way to be sure your comments to a person having tough times are helpful instead of hurtful. So that you are actually supportive (which is usually the intent, right?) instead of accidentally "dumping" on the other person with your own emotional reaction to his or her hardship - in a sense further burdening that person.

I think about the times I've had some heavy stuff happening in my life; some people knew how to listen and be empathetic. Others gave well-intentioned, but unsolicited, advice that always made me feel worse.

Another really good reminder that comes from the Ring Theory is that those closest to the "aggrieved or afflicted" also just needs support - not advice or your inner thoughts - those are to share with someone else further out the rings from you.

"It is already virtually impossible in the United States, unless you undertake the job yourself, to get a cup or pot of tea that tastes remotely as it ought to. It's quite common to be served a cup or a pot of water, well off the boil, with the tea bags lying on an adjacent cold plate. Then comes the ridiculous business of pouring the tepid water, dunking the bag until some change in color occurs, and eventually finding some way of disposing of the resulting and dispiriting tampon surrogate. The drink itself is then best thrown away, though if swallowed, it will have about the same effect on morale as a reading of the memoirs of President James Earl Carter." Christopher Hitchens, 2011