Your Zodiac Sign’s Secret Guilty Pleasures

Can you guess which zodiac sign has a penchant for trashy romance novels? Or which one can’t help taking selfies in the mirror? And what about the star sign who assumes a secret superpower? We all have our secret indulgences, our guilty pleasures, but which ones fit with your zodiac sign? What clandestine activities do you look forward to when the day is done? Check out your zodiac sign’s secret guilty pleasures.

Guilty Pleasures for Aries March 21 – April 19

Always adventurous, always on the lookout for a new challenge, yet if you are in a settled relationship, you are supposed to put all that behind you, right? But, there are so many unexplored avenues, you can’t resist having a look at what (or who) is available. That’s why you sneakily browse the ‘Casual Encounters’ section on Craigslist. And that’s why you secretly install the Tinder app, have a quick look and then hurriedly delete it again. We know, you know. But don’t worry, your secret is safe.

Open Secrets for Taurus April 20 – May 20

There’s no guilt about it for you, Taurus. Indulging yourself is your raison d’être. You particularly enjoy eating at an outside table at the most expensive hip restaurant in town. Followed by a good old session of retail therapy. Of course. By the way, we were very impressed with the huge bouquet of flowers you had sent to yourself at the office. We were even more impressed by the substantial secret donation you made to that worthy cause. And you never told a soul.

Pleasurable Gemini Pastimes May 21 – June 20

Your greatest pleasure is impressing others with your formidable intellect. Showing off your amazing intelligence. What they don’t know is that your real secret guilty pleasures happen at home. Alone. Singing along to your favorite oldie hits with a hairbrush mic, and looking at yourself in the mirror as you belt out “I Will Survive”. We particularly enjoy your rendition of “I Will Always Love You”. Those high notes – wow, just wow!

Cancer Solitary Indulgence June 21 – July 22

Cancer is such a gentle, family-oriented soul. And it’s no different when you are alone. Your greatest delight is sobbing over old family albums and your own baby photos. Crying for your lost childhood and wanting to sweep that little darling into your arms and give him or her a big hug. It’s okay, we all love you.

Picture This Leo July 23 – August 22

Strutting your stuff – whether in public or on your own is like oxygen to you, Leo. When you are alone, one particular pleasure that floats your boat is trying on every item of clothing you own, posing, and taking selfies. You even have a secret buried folder on your DropBox account especially for your ‘special’ selfies. It gives us great joy to gaze upon them.

Virgo’s Secret Self Escapes August 23 – September 22

When you are with others, Virgo, you like to express your care-free attitude, your fun-loving ways, and your gregarious side – but we know it’s just an act. When you are on your own you let your obsessive compulsive self come out of the closet. Whether it’s arranging your collection of silk threads meticulously, or watching towel-folding videos on YouTube, you can’t help but revert to your true nature. In fact, we quite like making your apartment a little messy just to watch you transform it into beauty and neatness again.

Libra Fantasy September 23 – October 22

Delighting in balance in all things, secretly you like the idea of retribution and revenge. That’s why you fantasize over which superpower of the day to adopt. Imagining how you would impose a fair and just regime on the whole world by smiting those who displease you. The other thing you like to do is choosing your future dog. You’ve just about settled on a Goldendoodle – a nice balance of the sensible and the ridiculous. We approve.

Scorpio’s Ultra-secret Secret October 23 – November 21

Everyone knows you are the Dark One of the zodiac. That you addicted to the kinky side of life and always pushing the boundaries of propriety. Constantly needing new thrills of a sensual nature. Yet everyone needs time out. That’s why your secret vices are binge watching the Gilmore Girls and doing alphabet cross-stitch. We think that zingy yellow will do nicely right there, Scorpio.

Snakes Alive Sagittarius November 22 – December 21

The daily routine is killing you. You can’t bear it – day after day. Getting up at the same time. Meeting the same people. Dealing with the same problems. So that’s why you spend hours and hours browsing vacation sites on line, planning your next trip and indulging in your personal version of fantasy island. There are always alligators. And Indiana Jones. And therefore, snakes.

Cozy Capricorn December 22 – January 19

You’re so sensible, Capricorn. So down-to-earth and hard working. The last thing on your mind is mindless escapism. But that’s not quite true, is it? We’ve seen you in your jammies, wearing bunny slippers and watching The Notebook, reading romantic fiction and slurping that quart of strawberry ice-cream. We also noticed you rocking out at that hip music event last month.

Analytical Aquarius January 20 – February 18

That active and inquiring mind keeps you busy, Aquarius, even in your down time. Hence you indulge your curiosity reading Agatha Christy novels, listening to whodunnit podcasts, and that subscription to Hunt-a-Killer was a genius idea, if we say so ourselves. You’re welcome.

Permissive Pisces February 19 – March 20

You work hard to prevent that addictive aspect of your personality taking hold, but now and then you have to let go. Give yourself space to just be. A few glasses of vino, a plate or two of junk food, and a nice session stalking friends of friends on social media is enough to make you feel pretty good. Back on the straight and narrow tomorrow, please, Pisces.