Main menu

Even more reasons that woman is not smiling:

She ordered her breakfast sandwich with cheddar and they gave her American.

Her mother sent a text asking how Snapchat works.

She’s brewing a huge shit and is frantically trying to remember where the nearest bathroom with floor-to-ceiling stalls and lots of white noise is located.

Same as above but she has realized this bathroom only exists in a ritzy country club she attended a wedding at when she was 14.

A friend of hers just got a very stupid tattoo and it’s making her question all of her social connections up till this point.

She sneezed out her tampon two minutes ago and was too afraid of leakage to get up and missed her stop and now she’s contemplating just living on this bus forever.

She wrote a really kickass villanelle for her writing workshop but the guy with the stupid pointy rockabilly beard said that the references to Celtic pagan deities were “too on the nose”.

Her one Very Rich Friend has two of everything that she doesn’t even have one of (this includes but is not limited to: dogs; sexual partners; designer hand bags; and supportive parents).

She is suffering from temporary or permanent facial paralysis due to a botched dental procedure.

She’s about to leave Earth on a very important secret space mission to save Humanity and you keep staring at her and telling her to smile, which is making her think Humanity should just save its own damn self.

Everyone keeps asking her if she works at this Target despite being in a sundress and flip flops