Announcement About Member Voices

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MORE.com editors

As of Friday, August 23, 2013, you will no longer be able to submit stories to the Member Voices section on More.com. All stories that have previously been published will remain live online, but those pending or rejected stories will automatically be deleted from the digital archives without the possibility of recovery. Please remember to save your work in an alternate location, as the More.com team will be unable to recover any files after Friday, August 30, 2013. We don’t want you to lose track of your hard work!

Our readers are very important to us and we encourage you to keep sharing your stories. Keep in touch with More via the comments sections on More.com, on Facebook at Facebook.com/MoreMagazine and Twitter at @MoreMag. If you have any questions, feel free to email us at more@meredith.com.

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Comments

The journey that MORE and I have travelled originated on the day of your first publication. Faithfully I read every word through the years. Changes of course took place in how the magazine presented the material and who the writers were targeting. I am now 69 and when I originally considered the magazine the most important words that I could learn from in my mail box each month, has dwindled because the magazine did not grow with me. I am sad to see no more writings being accepted. It was a joy to see women glow and grow through the years. Now is the time that I need advice for the normal woman in her 60's and 70's -- active women who still work out everyday, moisturize at night, and still look forward to a new experience. I am sad about the way the magazine has ignored the fact that the biggest fans are now 70. Well hopefully another publication will come about the has worthwhile readings as MORE once did.

POW - I've recently had an experience with a 'serial adulterer'.
I was one of the 'collection'. Learning and watching how he was living such a secret life was and still is, amazing to me. He set it up so he would have the pick of his 'collection' right from his workplace. The women in the 'collection' never knew about each other, because they were protecting him, a married man, it was a secret. I became his work friend, through work and someone who was my work friend, she confided in me that she had become his lover. I suspected something, but ignored my instincts, after all he's married. He always ends these affairs by saying he's not sure what he wants. After he ended it with her. Even though I knew about it, I became one of the 'collection', then I felt like a fool, and now I feel like I am armed with the new knowledge and power to make a huge difference, but first I forgave myself for such a terrible lapse in judgment, a horrible mistake. I will never make again. I watched and observed, as he chose his next one for his collection, (how did I continue to watch and observe? we work in the same place) and then, the one after that, and yes, the one after that. He continues to live this lie, claiming the usual, that it is his wife, while never really attacking her, he states that they never have sex and they can't talk about things. It took me quite some time to realize this person character is seriously flawed; serial adultery. I know we are all human, tough times can happen in a marriage, and affairs happen, people do overcome them and stay married. This - this is so different. It's particular intriguing, because his male friends, most of them know his behaviour, the women do not. It appears he also participates in this UNION of his male friends who have that double-standard, of how the devalue and respect women.
I came to the conclusion that what is doing to his wife is without any doubt the same and physical abuse. We seem to turn a blind eye to knowing that a fellow human being is being psychologically abused, emotionally, and forever damaged by this type of betrayal. There was at time when if a woman or even a child were being physically abused in the home, it was "family business, and to say out of it," these days, it is a criminal offence. To me, he is kicking and punching and stabbing his wife in heart repeatedly, without her even knowing. Until now. I was agonizing as to whether I should bow out gracefully, thinking that maybe it's none of my business, really, it's between him and his wife. I've evolved from that. If I knew he was beating her, I'd intervene one way or another. So I've intervened, I've called her to tell her. And I've written a letter to her also. One of the realizations I came to when writing the letter is: the tangents of damage and pain that have been caused by his behaviour have become serious reverberating ripples throughout all of our lives and has, without question, left permanent scars on our souls. I had to tell her. My final thought is: When do we stop turning a blind eye to emotional abuse this serial adultery causes? When will it become just as unacceptable as physical abuse has become in our culture?

Whoever did it, forgot the .com before the /. Sloppy. I've noticed quite a few comments from women over 40 or 50 (like 60-70's as posted here by a reader on 8.18.2003). It does seem More Mag needs to decide who it is going to serve. The crowd you started with have aged and want you to age with them in terms of content. Honestly, at 40-50 I didn't need a different magazine to tell me about fashion or skin care, etc. Before menopause, I didn't feel much different at 50 than I did at 30--in many ways I felt younger and stronger, and had more money to take care of myself. After menopause, there are different concerns. And depending on whether you resort to BHRT or not, or other ailments of age, can make a big difference in how you feel and how you age. And I think it is past menopause--especially a fews years later, when it starts taking a toll on how/where your body stores fat, to how your skin, hair, nails age--that you need inspiration to keep looking your best for your age. At 50 I could read Vogue, Bazaar, Glamour, etc. (and let's face it, the fashions there are not realistic for any 20-something! They can't afford it! At best, it's inspiration... ) I really think the age divide is before menopause vs. after menopause. At a newly minted 60, I'd like to see a magazine that addresses health and beauty concerns for those after menopause, into 70's and even 80's. If it's not going to be MORE, then perhaps another publication will soon fill that bill. (Perhaps you need some older staff, or an advisory council of older women, or something, in order to be more in touch with your audience?) I'll also take this opportunity to state that the Oct. article about BHRT was so misinformed and obviously biased--very misleading. YEARS ago (like 10+) when I first experienced debilitating hot flashes, I was prescribed the so-called "current" therapy (as stated in the article) of estrodial patch and micronized oral progesterone. It helped, but still didn't feel quite right. When I started on a BHRT regimen a couple of years later, I was shocked at how much better I felt... almost right away. And when I described it to my Gyno she was not surprised. She almost finished my sentence for me. I could go on with multiple examples and stories of how BHRT has helped me and others. But it's too long for this format. However, I also want to point out that the testing done for the article was based on "tri-est" which is pretty much NOT used by anyone anymore (Estrone is not an estrogen you want to supplement!). It seems the article is based on outdated information. And I find this article to be alarmist and not presenting a complete pro & con story. Bad (biased) journalism, if you ask me, unless you, at the same time, present the opposing view. We expect more of you, MORE!

I have been reading your magazine since you first started and have encouraged several of my friends to buy, by giving them a free subscription. I would like for you to address the older women. I am 70 years old and get a lot out of your magazine, but it seems to stop at 60-65. We older ladies would love to be included in your magazine. We are still very productive and a lot of us are still working. I am just saying.
I absolutely love your magazine.