While the heiress to the Cyrus fortune (note: the Cyrus fortune consists of a mullet wig, a Confederate flag tank top and a season ticket to NASCAR) was putting a supreme seafood platter (paging King Kenny!) on display (pictured above) across the pond at the VMA’s last night, South Africans were FAR more concerned with the doings of so-called Sushi King Kenny Kunene. We really need to start paying more attention to what’s going on in the world around us. Ignoring international news like this leads to war! Ask George W. Bush Junior!

So according to IOL (aka, the crawl space under the house where news goes to die), the fishy, sticky-fingered, aroma of the Sushi King has received attention (much more than Ms Cyrus got), because he has apparently given JuJu’s latest cry for attention – the EFF – a letter in his own handwriting saying BYYEEEE! Like everyone else, Kenneth Kunene has also jumped on the bandwagon telling the Prez he’s shitty shit shit. The bandwagon stopped at the EFF-off Freedom Fighters HQ when he was still on board, and now he’s HASTA! What happened? Maybe the sushi there wasn’t up to his standards (read: Miley Cyrus didn’t do a live performance in their offices) because now he’s left the building and hoes are talking all kinds of shit about “looking forward to working with him in the future“, which is politician speak for “You ain’t shit bitch! Good riddance! Eat a dick and die!“. Poor JuJu. I hope his stained maxi-pad can still absorb the tears he is crying after loosing his favourite fishy fat cat’s financial backing…