Surrogacy process, thoughts, and feelings through the eyes of the Intended Parents. Miracles, miracles! Enjoy!

The next day, Alice insisted that we come back and share the room. It really made it a nice transition. Neither of us wanted to be apart for very long.

We got more visitors, and loved every minute of it. The baby started doing alot better, and I felt comfortable to go home with him. Alice wanted to stay another night, and we weren’t in any hurry to leave Baby Mamma or Dan. We stayed all day with them, and Gordon went out to get Cafe Rio for dinner. We were all sick of hospital food. Uuugg…

Gordon Metallic was discharged, and we left with our new baby around 6pm.

After a few hours of our sweet baby’s birth, we were all moved to a room on the postpartum unit. Both Alice and I wanted to stay together as much as possible. The five of us (Dan, Alice, Gordon, me, and baby) stayed together and received visitors, according to how Alice was feeling. Of course we were all on a high, and visitors were welcome.

I wanted to give Alice and Dan the room to themselves for the night, so they could get some good sleep. The staff set Gordon and I up in a room. The room was not set up for patients; it didn’t have any heat or call lights, so Gordon and I took turns thru the night in the nursery with the baby. Whoever was not with the baby in the nursery got a few hours of sleep.

Metallic was having a little trouble with the extra fluid he had swallowed, so we didn’t feel comfortable just leaving him in the nursery. He seemed to choke easy. We wanted to be able to be right there for him, because we were having to suction out his mouth quite frequently.

Plus, I didn’t want to leave him at all, but it was nice to have daddy there with him so I could get some rest.

At my request, the nurses had previously set up some curtains to give Alice privacy while she was pushing, and Gordon & I privacy so we could do skin-to-skin with the baby.

Gordon was able to be present during most of the labor. During birth, while Alice was pushing, he was behind the curtains to give her privacy. He wasn’t able to be in the room when I had Destynee, so he never had a chance to see labor or experience the birth of a baby.
Alice allowed him to experience it thru his ears and emotions. He was overwhelmed with the whole experience. There was a very intense, beautiful feeling in the room, and he could feel it.

Here I came, holding our baby boy! He was perfect! A normal, healthy baby!!! Daddy and mommy were able to do skin-to-skin, and the staff left us alone with him for the most part. He was having a little struggle coughing and throwing-up some fluid that he had swallowed. After he got most of it up, I was able to nurse him. He latched right on!!! I couldn’t believe a brand-new baby already knew how to nurse. I felt so much joy!!! I got to have a very different experience with him, then I had had with Destynee.

As my beautiful baby boy entered the world, I had a complete visual of a baby elephant. What??? He was enormous, 9.9lbs!!! His head came out, and then each limb came out, one at a time. Arm, arm…Leg, leg…. It was like he was too big to come out all at once. It was awesome!!! What a thrill!!
But poor baby mamma, ouch!!!

All at once, the tears I had been holding back for 30 hours, came pouring out. I felt euphoric and stunned all at the same time. I didn’t feel completely in my body. I was in shock!

I cut the cord, and they put him on baby mamma’s belly to clean him off. I had to get to Alice….. I wrapped my arms around her and we both cried our eyes out…. I was pretty hysterical!!! Emotional overload!!!!

The doctor immediately gave me my baby, and the nurse guided me to the chair. Waiting for me behind the curtains, was daddy, anxiously waiting to see his new baby boy!

After 28 hours, we were all exhausted, but nobody could complain. We knew that our exhaustion couldn’t touch the exhaustion, Alice, our wonderful baby mamma, felt….. And now it was time to push! She had given it all she had, and now had to give some more… WOW! She is so strong, and did such an amazing job.

It was torcher for me to watch her go thru all of it. I so badly wanted to take all the pain from her, and wished that I could trade her places. She was going thru all this for me, and I did not want her to have a bad experience. I tried to hold back the tears, and the guilt I felt for putting her thru this. Yet, I knew in my heart that she chose this experience, and I had to be okay with it.
There was nothing I could do to change it at this point; all I could do was help her thru it. Alice had her wonderful husband, our sister as a coach, our hypnobirthing instructor, my husband, and myself during her labor for support. We made an excellent team, but Alice made it all possible.

It was truly a beautiful experience, and I feel honored that she allowed me to be at the birth. I got to be a part of the birth of my second miracle, Gordon Metallic.

We saw our OB doctor yesterday. He checked Alice to see how far she was dilated. He said, “Um.. I’ll give you a 1 if you want”. She’s maybe a 1 on dilation and not effaced at all! What? I thought she would at least be a 3…???

The important one, Baby mamma, said, “I won’t be surprised if I go over, I feel too good!”
Well, as long as she is comfortable and content, then I’m great waiting a little longer. Hopefully, she can stay comfortable until her and baby are ready.

Dr. Draper said he wouldn’t be surprised if she was still pregnant when he got back in town. He also told us that, being selfish, he really hoped that Alice would still be pregnant so he could be there.

Back in town!!! What the hell did that mean? Our OB, kindly let us know that he was going to be leaving out-of-town ON our due date, and wouldn’t be back for nine days. What the hell kind of timing is that!!

My mind started spinning in way too many directions. A lot could happen!…. I needed him there!!!
Having Dr. Draper at the delivery, was of the utmost importance to me!!! It is a MUST!!!

I tried to talk him out of going, but unfortunately, it was work related and he had to go. He reassured me that he would communicate to the OB team all the birth plan details, as well as the legalities of the unique surrogacy situation. He told me that the most important things, was for baby mamma and my baby to be safe, and that they would be under great care.

Nothing he said comforted me at all! I could not believe this was happening. Why is this such a big deal?? I felt frantic!!!

After we left, I was able to talk to Alice about it. She’s such an amazing support for me!
I realized that the desperate feelings of needing him there, was coming from my previous experience with my hysterectomy.
After my hysterectomy, I had a lot of thoughts about whether the doctors did everything they could to save my uterus.
Because I knew Dr. Draper, and I KNEW that he did everything he could to save it, those thoughts were alot less intense and didn’t have the power to completely drown me in my sorrows. I had a great relationship with him during my pregnancy with Destynee, and after that, he continued to be an important source of support for me.

I only had the hysterectomy experience to compare to this experience, and I felt scared that another doctor wouldn’t do everything they could to make this experience great.

Well, once again I could not control the situation and got another opportunity to put my trust in God. I knew that He would handle it, and asked that He would allow whatever was in the best interest for everyone involved to happen.

10 more days!!! Jeeze! I am so READY!!! On the other hand, that would mean Dr. Draper would be there, sweet!!! We’ve been working on this pregnancy since June `09, so what’s one more week or 10 days……We can do this!

Alice hadn’t had any more contractions since last Friday, but last night, she finally started up again. She said they were lasting a minute and every 10 minutes apart, SWEET!!

Is this it?? Gordon and I spent the night getting legal requirements ready, and getting the bag packed for the baby. I was surprisingly calm, but daddy, Gordon, was having some serious anxiety. I kept trying to figure out why he was so anxious, cuz I thought everything was going smooth, and Alice said she was comfortable.
He finally said, “Last time we had a baby, things didn’t go smooth at all. You were out of it, but I remember a little too clear.” …..
Because our baby mamma was an hour away, Gordon felt even more like he couldn’t know that Alice and the baby were okay.

I just listened and tried to comfort him. I could completely understand where he was coming from. It was cute to see him so concerned.

This morning, I talked to Alice. She said the contractions stopped last night. I’m glad the contractions stopped if it’s not the day, so she can stay comfortable. Whenever baby mamma and baby are ready.

We have an appointment with our OB, Dr. Draper today, and he might want to check her!!! How exciting!!
WOW! Time’s flying.

Last Friday, Dan, Alice, Gordon, and I took our girls to Jungle Jim’s. It’s like a mini-mini lagoon, for small kids. I couldn’t believe Alice was going. Less than a week away from being due, and she’s still partying like a rock star. Gordon jokingly tried to get her on one of the rides to put her into labor. lol

Of course she never got on any ride, but she thinks she might have overdone it. That night around 11:00, she started having some contractions, three minutes apart!!! She said they didn’t last very long, maybe just over an hour. But freakn’ exciting!!!

Today we get to wash up all the fun clothes we got from our shower! And fill up the wap’n two drawers that I have for the new baby.

My sisters all like to just pass around the big stuff for babies, like swings, bouncers, bassinets, etc. We do that, because first of all, who wants to store all of that big equipment when you’re not using it, and hard to buy all of the big stuff when you’re only having a few kids, like me. It has made it very nice and convenient for all of us. And now it’s my turn, how fun!!!
I now have everything except a bouncer and toys.

When we bought a car-seat, stroller, and play ‘n pack for Destynee, I wanted to get a color that we could use for either boy or girl. It’s green with little lambs all over it. So I already have all that too!!

All I need to do now, is pack my diaper bag so it’s ready for the hospital. Wahoo!!! Here we come! Well, any day now!

Intended Parents!

I am married 7 yrs. to a wonderfully supportive husband, Gordon. I have one beautiful daughter, Destynee, whom I was barely able to carry myself. She's our first miracle!!!
I have decided to add some of my experiences with my pregnancy with her.

After having an emergency hysterectomy, and greiving the hope of ever having more children, the possibility of surrogacy came into our lives.

I am an Intented Parent currently in a surrogate process, with my sister, Alice, as my Surrogate Mother. My wish is to receive and give, support and insight. I welcome comments and questions.