Since a 24-year-old American was detained in North Korea on April 10 — the third U.S. citizen currently being held in the country, Matthew Miller was sentenced to six years of hard labor this week for “hostile acts to the DPRK” — boy-king Kim Jong-un has visited a lube factory, examined some high heels, and gone to theaquarium.

That’s life as a young dictator, when constant factory visits and photo ops are your main connection to the outside world. While citizens starve and prisoners are tortured, there are cigarettes to smoke and Swiss cheese to eat. And what a summer of tours itwas!

With all the laughter that trails Kim wherever he and his endless expertise go, you’d think he had the unchecked power to execute anyone who didn’t happen to think he was the most magnetic person in theworld: