Spoof news stories from Saturday 16 May 2009

Rihanna recently just got former boyfriend Chris Brown charged with domestic violence. We also recently discovered that Chris Brown somehow got Rihanna to agree to marry him, so the charges would be dropped.
Chris Brown was seen in a jewelry store...

There was a surprise in the world of show business today, when a homosexual man won the Eurovision song contest. Russian Alexander Rubcock sang his song "I'm a fairy" for Norway, and was universally panned by music critics for his appallingly smug pe...

Alexander Rybak, 23 from Norway the winner of the Eurovision Song Contest 2009; who scored 600 points in the 'loosely' defined spectacle called a competition has revealed his love for sadistic fairytale midget Rumplestilskin.
As a young boy in No...

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Yesterday, Newt Gingrich delivered a blistering critique of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, calling her, "vicious," "trivial," and "a liar." He wants her investigated because he insists she knows more than she lets on about the Bush a...

If you thought that MPs expense submissions were outrageous, news from Spoof Towers leaked by a member of the editorial team that reveal that the Spoof's writers are the most corrupt bunch of individuals gathered beneath a single banner on the planet...

At the white house, when Michelle Obama was out with the children buying groceries, Obama had a special guest at home.
Security have told tabloids that they heard obsessive laughing and screaming from both previous and current presidents. They als...

It is no surprise that Arsenal are struggling to keep up with the likes of Manchester United and Liverpool in the Premiership this season - the kids are running riot.
With Arsene Wenger lacking the ability to discipline his young charges if they m...

Somali student, Abu Abdab, has won the 2009 World Waterboarding Championships in the face of tough opposition from around the world.
Abu, who is better known for performing with his brothers as The Screaming Abdabs, impressed the judges with his f...

After seeing her on tour in her creative leotards and jumpsuits, fans have began rumours that Lady Gaga is actually a hermaphrodite. Fans have said that when the singer bends down there is a huge bulge where her poon should be.
After many men have...

TheSpoof.com was narrowly pipped at the post last night by Sky News in the Best Factual Website Of The Year category at the fifteenth annual Best Website Awards at the Troll and Lantern Hotel in the West End of Glasgow.
A visibly elated Mark Lowto...

When nude pictures of Rihanna were leaked online, they showed her with a nipple ring, and it appears to be Captain Hook's beloved hook.
Rihanna has confirmed it was stolen from Captain Hook and she is very sorry. Chris Brown was the person who act...

VISTA, California - Miss California, Carrie Prejean has really been put through the grilling mill, the grinding mill, and the mams mill.
The 22-year-old native of San Diego, California said that as long as the owner of the Miss USA Pageant, the pleasantly pompadour-haired Donald Trump believes in her and supports her that is all that matters.
Prejean said that she has no more tears left. To...

It has been discovered that immigrants are coming into this country in the form of donated eggs from Russia, Ukraine, Poland and Latvia. The latest uproar concerns that of a 66-year-old woman who, if the birth becomes successful, will become Britain...

London - (Sup-Prime Ministerial Mess): MPs of all parties are to stage a mass sit-in outside Parliament next week in a bid to regain the hush money that has been taken away from them in the House of Commons expenses fiasco.
A police probe into a...

The Daily Torygraph has published largely Labour Party ministers and MPs' expenses claims, and here are a few questions and answers about the stories:
What Has Been Revealed?
Nothing that the public didn't already know, which is that MPs are thieves and liars
Why Was The Information Secret?
If you'd been stealing taxpayers' money to buy things like toilet seats and ballpoint pens, you'...

One day Harry was sitting in his garden, trying to do The Sun crossword, then gave up and decided to fill in his weekly government expenses form.
'Essential expenses only', he thought, 'that means taking the bus, occasional sandwiches for lunch, lightbulbs for my study, etc., etc.', when all of a sudden there was a huge puff of smoke on the lawn, and an evil wizard with hideous skin and a long...

Poor discipline in schools is a problem for teachers and administrators the world over. In recent times we've seen some innovative ideas in keeping control in the classroom.
In Turkey tear gas was lobbed into a school during a clash with resident...

It's that time of year again: Eurovision night. Countries across Europe vote for their neighbours' songs in a contest which was originally intended to restore post-war unity and further continental relations, but which has now descended into a farce of who can look the gayest. Ironically the supposedly homophobic Russians decide the winner - because of their numerous satellite states and their str...

DATELINE:VATICAN_CITY-- Mothman made a brief but bizarre visit to the Vatican City yesterday and caused lots of excitement. The surreal spaceman seemed sexually attracted to the pontiff, and chased the poor old man for hours. The creature eventua...

Famous pickpocket and all-round tea leaf Fagin today replaced Gordon Brown as Prime Minister, and his first Cabinet appointment was to select The Artful Dodger as his Chancellor of the Exchequer.
'Listen, Dodger, me old china', he said, 'you've go...

HOUSTON, TX - The man with the world's largest man-boobs was given the axe today by a local Foxx affiliate, leaving many wanting answers.
"Is somebody going to write a spoof story about it?" asked Sally Jenkins. "That's something I'd really like...

Venezuelan officials accompanied by soldiers have seized "temporary" control of a US-owned pasta producer. Venezuela says the facility, owned by the big US firm Cargill, had violated regulations on price controls intended to guarantee cheap food fo...

BUFFALO, NY - Pinochle Airlines was quick to issue a press release when one of its plane's wheels fell off and rolled away upon touching down at Buffalo Niagara International Airport earlier this week. According to the release, Pinochle claims "comp...

The Puritans have decided to return to investigate the corrupt workings of Parliament bringing their beloved star chamber with them.
Brother Jeremiah speaking to us from just off the Devon Coast on his Blackberry announced in no uncertain terms th...

After recent media hysteria over MPs expenses, it is now the bank bosses' turn to be exposed.
The Daily Dredge has released details of all bank chiefs' expenses over the past year. Shockingly it shows a culture of businessmen willing to blatantly...

An unfortunate Translation error on Satnav has caused a Japanese Whaling ship to get stranded in Jerusalem wedged between two buildings.
The Japanese fishermen - Sorry! "Research Scientists armed with Harpoons but only as protection against Somali...

Gordon Brown was carried from the House of Commons by exuberant Tamil Tigers after donating Parliament Square as their New Homeland.
Brown thought up the whizz during a brainstorming session with Ed Balls as a way of deflecting criticism of his le...

The great Mel Brooks satire of a supposed to fail musical about Nazis, The Producers, debuts in Berlin. Audiences flock to the much touted musical comedy's opening night...opening night(see Curb Your Enthusiasm). But confusion ensues as German observ...

Zombies have overrun Washington DC. They appear to be normal people, but their ridicules behavior is apparent to anyone who pays attention to politics. Their actions may be the cause of a tiny insect that has been introduced to the United States by...

Frost Proof, Fl,/ Home of the State's Biggest Onions & Juiciest Fruits - Disaster in the Sex Industry today as the Man with the World's Largest Penis suffered a severe set back in his career when his guaranteed 'run flat' penis suffered a blow ou...