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Wednesday, April 3, 2013

.Book Tour: #Excerpt Bullet by @JadeCJamison

Bulletby Jade C. Jamison

An Epic Rock Star NovelWhat if you discover the man you want is toxic?She tasted a little bit of heaven with him, and now they’ve gone through hell and back, but can their relationship take anymore?Valerie Quinn is a naïve college freshman when she meets on-the-rise rock star Ethan Richards. He’s an idealistic, handsome, reckless young man, but he’s captured her heart. She doesn’t give up on him and eventually his walls crumble down. By the time Valerie has given herself to him completely, she discovers he’s damaged and may be beyond help. Can she save Ethan and their relationship before he implodes, or will he self-destruct and take her with him?

At first, driving down the mountain, Ethan just played the radio, and we didn’t say much to each other. But then he said, “The past few months, I haven’t talked to you much.”

Oh, well, this was a newsflash. “Yeah…”

“We’re good friends, right? Or were good friends?”

“Yeah, I thought so.”

“And we kind of started getting hot and heavy there…and I sort of backed off.”

I nodded and looked out the side window. This was starting to piss me off. I didn’t need to be reminded of what an ass he’d been to me. “Yeah.” There wasn’t much more I wanted to say.

“There’s a reason for that.”

I looked back over at him. “What would that be?”

“I…uh…started to care for you more than I should.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I can’t…shouldn’t. I mean…you’re my muse, Valerie.” Oh, God…there was that fucking word again. “So I shouldn’t touch you. And you seemed so innocent, Val…like an angel. I don’t want to ruin that.”

I started laughing. “Oh, yeah, because metal is full of happy love songs, and everything is all happy and bright and innocent.”

He laughed too. “You know what I mean.”

“Yeah, but I don’t think you get where I’m coming from. Pain is part of life, Ethan, and I’m willing to take chances. It hurt me more than you know when you just decided you were done with me. Don’t you think that hurts more than just letting us explore where our relationship was going?” I was looking at him, waiting to see what he thought. “Even if it ends badly? Isn’t it worth just trying?”

He was quiet for a while. We sped down the road, and I started thinking maybe that was the end of the conversation. But then he said, “Not necessarily.” He looked over at me. “We were great friends, Val. We go down that road…any way you can keep your heart out of it?”

I wasn’t sure what he was asking. “Why would I want to?”

“So you didn’t get hurt.”

It was my turn to contemplate the conversation. I didn’t like the vibes I was getting from him. “Would that be inevitable?”

He kept his eyes on the road, but I could tell from his expression that there was no humor in his words. “With me…probably.”

I was getting upset. It was like he’d made up his mind that anything between the two of us would end in disaster. “It doesn’t have to be like that, Ethan. It’ll only be like that if youmakeit that way. And that would be a shitty thing to do.”

Thatgot his attention. I didn’t curse like the rest of the guys did, so when I swore, they noticed. He looked over at me, but it was like he was at a loss for words. “If we’re friends, Ethan, then we move forward from there. And friends care about each other, take care of each other. Our friendship is mutual, isn’t it?” He nodded. “So who says it has to be complicated and calculated? Why can’t nature just take its course? Or is there something else you haven’t told me?”

“No.”

“Then why do we have to be afraid to see where this goes?”

Oh…that hit a nerve. Was he angry? I couldn’t tell, but I wanted to listen carefully to what he said next. “Caution is not the same as fear, Val, and why shouldn’t I worry about what happens to you?”

“Don’t you see that’s what I’m saying, Ethan? In yourcautiousnessfor sparing me, you wound up hurting me worse than if we’d just let things happen.” His jaw was clenched tight. “I don’t care if you don’t want to hear that. If you don’t want to pursue it further, that’s fine. Just say so, but don’t pussyfoot around and then pretend like I’m a hot potato when things get a little warm.” He still hadn’t said a word, so now was my chance to drive it home. “And stop calling me your fucking muse, putting me up on a pedestal. I’m your friend, and I’m a band member. I’m an equal, so please treat me like one.”

He seemed to think about it, and we sat in silence for a while. We still weren’t talking by the time Ethan’s truck made it to theSprings. He said, “You need to stop for anything?”

“Nope. I’m good.”

We were on I-25 heading towards Denver when he started talking again. “So…start fresh then?”

Did he really mean it? He seemed sincere, and I’d felt cheated of his affection from the first moment he’d pulled away. Deep down, yes, I wanted to try it fresh. I wanted a second chance. I wanted to make a real go of it. Rational or not, I loved Ethan. I knew it was stupid, but it didn’t matter. Stupid or not, I wanted him. Part of me knew he was damaged…deeply damaged…and I think that part of me also wanted to try to save him. So, yes, I wanted a fair chance. I nodded. “Yeah.”

We were another few miles down the road when he said, “Am I fucking up anything between you and Brad?”

I felt my eyes grow wide. What the hell had Brad said? Was Brad part of the reason Ethan had shied away from me? “No.” The less Isaid,the better.

Oh. I didn’t know Brad looked at me a certain way. But we weren’t going there. I refused. “Ethan, whatever happened between Brad and me is over. You heard him say it himself to my dad, and he meant it. He didn’t want a relationship screwing up the band so he institutedahandsoffpolicy. There isnothingthere.” Wow…was I protesting too much? Time to shut up, Valerie.

He wasn’t saying much of anythingeither,and I had no idea what to expect. Little sprinkles hit the windshield as a light rain cooled the early September air. I looked out the window at the gray skies. Finally, he spoke again. “I know it’s really none of my business, but Igottaknow. Did you sleep with him?”

I don’t know why I told him. “You’re right. It’s none of your business, but no. We didn’t sleep together.” I sighed. This conversation felt like an exercise in futility. “I’m still a virgin.”

I saw him let the breath out of his lungs, almost like what I’d said was a shock. But then he hit me with a curveball. “So why are you on the pill then?”

My voice probably got higher than I should have let it. “What? How’d you know about that?”

“I’ve seen you take it once or twice. I’m not an idiot.”

Fair enough. “I wanted to be safe.”

“With Brad.”

I had to be honest. “Yeah, with Brad. We’d…” Shit, this was hard. I looked out the side window again. “Things got a little…heated, and I wanted to be safe.”

“Did I do that to you?”

I felt my cheeks growing hot. “Do what?”

“Make you feelheated?”

“Yeah…you did.”

He seemed satisfied with my answer. We didn’t say anything else the rest of the way to Denver. Throughout the summer, we’d been driving into the city at night, and I’d been dazzled by the bright lights against the dark backdrop. Seeing the city in the daytime, though…floored me. It was huge. I was a small town girl. But Denver…it stretched on and on. To the west, it butted up against the mountains and to the east, it sprawled and stretched as far as my eyes could see. And to the north? I had no idea if the city ever really ended. Yes, I believed Brad was right when he said we’d have so many places to play, we’d never reach the end. Could we get noticed, though? Would we be able to make it? It remained to be seen, but that he had that unshakable faith helped me believe it too. That didn’t, however, make me feel any less overwhelmed by the sight of the metropolis spread forth in front of me.

Ethan navigated the traffic like a pro. It was before rush hour, so even though the traffic seemed crazy to me at the time, it was actually pretty light. After a while, we reached our destination in a small dark parking garage. I was glad to be able to get out of the truck and stretch.

Ethan joined me on the passenger side of the truck. I asked, “How many trips do you think it’ll take us tohaul all my crap up?”

He smiled and shrugged. “We’ll make the guys help.” Without warning, he closed the gap between us, his hands on my hips. His touch was aggressive, and I felt breathless. My back was pressed against the warm, smooth side of his truck, and I noticed my hands were cupping his biceps. “I just want to make it clear. Unlike Brad,Ididn’t make your dad any promises.” He smothered me in a soul-searching kiss that I felt clear to the tips of my toes. The muscles throughout my body grew taut, aching for his touch. Yes, I wanted Ethan. I’d always wanted Ethan. I loved him and maybe, finally, we could explore the relationship he’d denied us before. As my tongue fought against his and my hands wound through his hair, I at last had hope that we could try.

Jade C. Jamison was born and raised in Colorado, moved from one city/town to the
next, and she’s decided she likes it so much she wants to stay…although travel
is not out of the question. She lives in a big town in Colorado (not unlike
Winchester!) with her husband and four children. She is working on becoming a
crazy cat lady. Okay, so maybe not.Still want more? Jade has a
bachelor’s degree in English Literature and Theater, a master’s degree in
English, and a master of fine arts in Creative Writing. Obviously, she loves
school and the student loan folks love her. She works in human services by day,
teaches English and creative writing at night, and—in between playing soccer mom
and community leader—writes like a fiend. Someday soon, she’ll narrow it down to
just writing, but let’s get all those kids off to college first.