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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

i don't know whether i should be mad at myself or mad at them.. -
March 13th 2015, 12:25 AM

...so i chose both.

NOTE::i'm really sorry for how long this is. i tried to make it shorter, but honestly everything in here needs to be said, in order to fully understand the situation. it's amazing how much can happen within 30 minutes.

okay, this literally just happened about an hour ago, and i'm still trying to process it all, so bear with me here as i gather my thoughts.

we were in 5th period, the last period of the day, and we were doing work on the computers.
this fucking idiot -- let's call him Al -- left his school account logged in on the school's website, where we can check the homework for each class and message other students.

so, these two guys went on that computer, with Al's account left logged in. and they found his account and went to the messages, to "see if he actually had any friends."

---
MIND YOU, that one very significant part of this story is that... the two guys who found the computer... ONE of them, I had liked before. let's call him Dick, after his personality.
basically, we were friends, but he suddenly changed a lot and he ended up hating me. so now we both mutually hate each other and i wish the worst for him (deathplz.)
THE OTHER GUY that found the computer, is the guy that i actually currently kinda like. (and no, i don't just switch from liking guy-to-guy-to-guy. i actually took several months to get over the first asshole.)
let's call this guy TJ. ---

So TJ and Dick found Al's account. They went to his messages and found that I was one of Al's contacts.

~~~BACKGROUND STORY~~~

so, towards the end of freshman year, Al had a serious crush on me. it was completely out of NOWHERE, as we barely ever talked... ever. so i literally had no idea who he really was (i knew his name, but i didn't know him even enough to call him an acquaintance) so I wasn't really sure about my feelings for him either.

NOW, he's like a big, annoying brother to my group of friends, and we always hang out. We never clicked at ALL romantically, so now we're just great friends.

but...~~~

So Dick and TJ clicked on my name to see all.... all of our regretful and misunderstood messages. Now that I just read back on them, I know exactly why TJ and Dick are thinking what they're thinking.

this is the conversation, from FRESHMAN YEAR, that they read...

Quote:

Al: k thanks so i need to tell you something

Me: what do you need to tell me?

Al: Do you wanna know

Me: Lol yes.................

Al: I kinda like you

Me: Aww, really?

Al: Do u like me

Al: Hello??

Me: Kinda, haha. But idk we don't really hang out very much.

Like I said, I had no idea who the hell this Al guy was, I barely even knew him. So I didn't know if I would even want to date him or if I would like him, and it was all so sudden... my first reaction was an immediate "ew."
But I was just so lonely and desperate at the time... and I was really nice too. I couldn't bear to reject someone (this was literally RIGHT AFTER i had rejected another creepy guy, three times in a row.) again.
So I did say that I "kinda" liked him? Because to me, "kinda" was a nice way of saying "no, not really, go fuck yourself." I was stupid, believe me, I KNOW THAT NOW.

THIS IS THE IMPORTANT PART.

So today, after they found those messages, TJ came up to me and started making small talk. We had just taken a test online, so we were talking about what our scores were.
Finally, he said, "So... about those messages, huh?"
I had no idea what he was talking about, but he was smiling and just staring at me... never breaking eye contact. I hadn't seen him that happy for awhile.

The dumbass little gullible girl in me thought that... maybe.. just maybe, i left my account logged in. maybe someone had messaged TJ that i liked him. maybe, just maybe, he liked me back, and that was why he was so happy.
i'm a dumbfuck and i know it.

After I asked him what messages, growing more nervous but getting more butterflies at the same time, he said, "I'm so freaking excited now!!!!!"

...and of course, based on what i was thinking, this was just fucking perfect. i mean, what girl wouldn't just love to hear those words come out of her crush's mouth, thinking that it was about her liking him??

Then he went back to Dick and they started cracking up, saying that something was hilarious, and Dick muttered, "I kinda like you~!" quoting one of the messages.
SO THEN I SERIOUSLY THOUGHT THAT SOMEONE MESSAGED TJ THAT, AND I WAS SO HAPPY AND NERVOUS AND EXCITED.

TJ was jumping and dancing all around, and he ran and told it to this one girl who hates me.

I was so confused but excited... like wouldn't that just be perfect?
this could finally be it.
this could finally be the end to my loneliness.

but after school, TJ came up to me and said, "So... I knew that Al liked you, but I never knew how much YOU LIKED HIM." All my friends started cracking up around me, including TJ.
I could just feel my heart drop.
In that frenzy of questions and chaos that exploded from my friends then, I had to explain to everyone how I never really liked him. One of my friends and TJ still didn't believe me, though.

The friend who didn't believe me said, "why do you even care, if you know that you didn't like him??"

well, TJ said that it's going to get around whether i liked him or not. he said three people already "know" that i "liked him".

i don't know what the frick to do. this went from a perfect dream to a living hell within minutes.

Re: i don't know whether i should be mad at myself or mad at them.. -
March 13th 2015, 12:42 AM

Hey,

This sounds like a really stressful situation right now, but try not to worry too much. It'll blow over soon enough. People do this all the time – they find some bit of news and go on about it for a couple of days and then after a week or two everyone forgets it ever happened. So you might have to face rumors and questions in school for a bit, and things might be a little more awkward between you and some of the other people involved (Al, TJ) but soon, everyone will have something different to talk about.

For now, try to shrug it off. If anyone asks you about the messages, just tell them that you never really like Al and you misunderstood which messages everyone was talking about. I think a lot of people would have made the same mistake you did and thought that the guy must have found out you liked him and was saying in a weird roundabout way that he liked you back. It sucks that TJ went and spread it around to all your friends, but hopefully they will understand and let it pass. If you want, you could talk to TJ and tell him that the messages were really not what they seemed to be, and that you wish he hadn't started telling everyone he could find.

It might be a little awkward for people to know that you liked TJ, but it's not the end of the world. Liking someone isn't really something to be ashamed of – most people in your school probably have a crush on someone. You were just unlucky enough to have it get out. Try to spend time with friends, talk about other things, and wait for everyone to forget about what happened.

Re: i don't know whether i should be mad at myself or mad at them.. -
March 13th 2015, 02:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fallingstargirl

Hey,

This sounds like a really stressful situation right now, but try not to worry too much. It'll blow over soon enough. People do this all the time – they find some bit of news and go on about it for a couple of days and then after a week or two everyone forgets it ever happened. So you might have to face rumors and questions in school for a bit, and things might be a little more awkward between you and some of the other people involved (Al, TJ) but soon, everyone will have something different to talk about.

For now, try to shrug it off. If anyone asks you about the messages, just tell them that you never really like Al and you misunderstood which messages everyone was talking about. I think a lot of people would have made the same mistake you did and thought that the guy must have found out you liked him and was saying in a weird roundabout way that he liked you back. It sucks that TJ went and spread it around to all your friends, but hopefully they will understand and let it pass. If you want, you could talk to TJ and tell him that the messages were really not what they seemed to be, and that you wish he hadn't started telling everyone he could find.

It might be a little awkward for people to know that you liked TJ, but it's not the end of the world. Liking someone isn't really something to be ashamed of – most people in your school probably have a crush on someone. You were just unlucky enough to have it get out. Try to spend time with friends, talk about other things, and wait for everyone to forget about what happened.

Hope it works out. Shoot me a message whenever
~Estelle

I know that, with rumors, they usually last about a week -- a month at most -- and then die off.
I guess it's just that much worse because the guy I like thinks that I like someone like... Al.

I forgot to mention that Al and TJ have this horrible hatred for each other, and that TJ thinks Al is the most pathetic piece of dirt on the earth.

So I just don't want my crush making fun of me for thinking that I once liked his mortal enemy.

Like I said, Al is like some awkward/awesome brother to me now, so I'm messaging him about this at the moment. I don't know if he could help in any way, but yeah.
(By the way, he has a girlfriend now, and they're really happy together. We're even able to joke about how he used to like me, now, so he's completely over it.)

The good news is that TJ doesn't know that I like him, because I didn't say anything stupid when he was asking me about the secret messages, just in case he wasn't talking about me liking him.

What's really horrible, though, is that the guy who I used to like thinks that I liked Al too. Since Dick hates me, he's going to make SURE that people know about this.
There's a chance TJ might spare me, but it's slim.