April 3, 2014

Because I don’t want to forget his words when he is old, old like a man, because he might forget in a moment of doubt, and I know I will- probably in 2 more seconds, my faith is shakier than his. It seems this conversation might be the kind we are building our lives on without even knowing it exactly. We are slowly figuring out we don’t have to do it alone, we were never meant to. It’s the kind of knowledge you need to be whole and together…and to do something really great (or maybe just survive), for and with each other.

The story:

Jack overheard me on the phone lamenting to my sister about a film project I am working on. The weight of everything I don’t know is swirling, the feelings of just how ludicrous it is to even take it on are BIG, the revelation of how much growth is required… and wanting it so bad and knowing it is meant for me, all at the same time. I hung up the phone unaware he was listening.

Jack: Mom, you are gonna do that big film.

Me: I dunno, it just feels so much bigger than me some times,

I just have to keep being brave, you know?

Jack: Do that for me mom…

You do it for me

and I’ll do it for you

you keep doing it for me

and I’ll do it for you…

Me: Yeah, I can do that.

Jack: Yeah, me too.

Me: Like for our whole lives, huh?

Jack: Yup, that sounds good.

It never occurred to me that we could share bravery until he suggested it. I don’t know why but Jack’s request and belief in me instantly makes me feel more brave and hopeful. Maybe it’s because he’s 11 or that I feel 11 again, but the idea that we could be brave for each other, taking turns, giving what we have and taking what we need feels profound.

All along bravery seemed like this point to buck up, dig deep, show up- still requiring me to drum something up on my own and that feels so out of reach at times. It seems to me that holding that ground and space for each other is the only chance for us to sustain any work we believe in with all of our hearts.

Feel free to tell us in the comments today what you need some bravery for and also feel free to share some of your own bravery if you feel called to a story. Even a simple, “I will do that for you ________.” works just fine.