The longest a maid ever stayed with my family is 6 years. That period was when i was from pri 3 all the way to secondary two. And that period was kind of significant because my parents divorce when i was in primary 4. My maid was somehow the only constant companion that took care of me and my sister at that time.

So i have emotional attachments towards them. I treated them like one of my own kin, and will share with them the problems that i am facing and joke with them.

I remember the saddest moment i have was when my maid that stayed with me for 6 years left. How to let go?

Well time help me to get over it. And i have lost all contact with her because i moved house and my house number have changed.I told myself to not get too emotionally attached to them from then onward because they have to leave one day.

But i still did somehow get emotionally attached to them. After all the best person to talk to about your problems freely and without judgement is them. And i make sure that they set up facebook or something so i can connect with them even after they left.

My current maid is leaving in a week time. Although we can still keep in contact, i still feel sad.

Like a sad cycle, a new maid comes in. From the stage of awkwardness to knowing each other better to becoming comfortable with each other and to that stage of parting.

Sad isn’t it?That cycle can be applied to friendships also.

But life is like this. People will leave one day. You have no idea when also.

But till that moment comes, cherish every moment spent with them. So that even after they left, the memories will stay in our hearts forever.

From the title above, you may presume that I will say something along the lines of

One must undergo trials and difficulties to grow and staying comfortable actually stifles the person.

Let’s see this from a different angle.

When I say comfortable, I mean staying in a office job for years, climbing the corporate ladder and then retiring with lots of money.

What’s wrong with that? There is definitely nothing wrong with that. But if everybody stays in that mentality where I work to live, eat and play with my loved ones and friends. Then this world will become selfish. Selfish as in only caring about themselves and their loved ones.

Maybe in between their free time and maybe when they retire, they may do

some voluntary charity work to help.

But that’s about it.

I’m not saying that the majority of the world is selfish now, there are people out there who work for the community and truly loves people. I’m not saying that office work is bad, it is vital for the country to survive. But there is a trap

of easily settling into the comfortable lifestyle and then the circle of life is only limited to their own loved ones.

It is hard to get out once the comfortable lifestyle has been established. People will only care about themselves and that will have a negative impact on the community. Why?

People wouldn’t trust others other then those in their circle. Office politics will increase, people will naturally think about themselves first before thinking of others. When that happen, they wouldn’t even think of helping the poor or needy people in their community because they care about their social standing first.

Inequality will be even more obvious. The government will have a harder time trying to unite the country.

Yesterday I read the news article that Myanmar political woman figure Aung Su Kyi said that they won’t learn from Singapore in some areas. She mentioned that our education system creates out people who are meant for workforce. Which means literally that the education system churns out graduates who are intellectually educated and not really on character development.

This is quite a bad thing because we have no soul to speak of. The government is now shifting its focus to character development which is good but the results must come from the people themselves.

Let us think beyond our circle and expand our thinkings. The world is in so much turmoil and there will always be people out there who are hurting and need help.

All these thoughts just came from one single thought that I have when I was on my way to work this morning.

The thought that I’m happy it’s midweek and I believe everybody else is too. But then with this same mindset undergoing the same routine week after week. No wonder people will say time pass very fast. This same routine somehow prevents the office worker from thinking bigger things other than their work, family and friends.

As each year passes like that, they will somehow forget their bigger dreams and by the time they want to fulfil it, they are too old to do so.

Sometimes having to give a title to my post frustrates me because my thoughts are usually just flowing with no boundaries. Okay lets move on.

I do know that certain areas i have to step up. I cannot stay the same in that spot forever. Like being a projectionist leader in my church. I have been kind of slacking off because i am still relying on the overall leader. So used to depending on him but this got to stop. I should be more proactive as a leader, and i will get rid of this laziness within me.

Time management…

In work i created an excel to do list so that i will not miss out on any appointments that my boss have to attend. Should i create one for myself too? But i dont really have much to do, i just need to work, do my ministry duties and do what i want. Contemplating in process. It looks stressful too if i create because it reminds me of work.

I attended my distant cousin’s wedding last night. I do not know them personally at all. Watching their video on how they fall in love with each other is so beautiful 🙂 Romantic thoughts coursing through my head, and will be kept to myself 😛Their wedding photos include places like the backdrop of the buildings at Marina Bay, Esplanade areas. It is pretty but then i was thinking if they actually work in one of those buildings, wont they feel stressed when they see the photos because the work building is there? Okay i think i am just stressed over my work.

Actually my work is not so complicated, it is me who over thinks. I am not thinking of it but my heart is on anxious mode for tomorrow’s work. Bad habit i have here.

I am looking forward to the half day afternoon leave on wed, because i need to go hospital for skincare appointment. So no need to work! Haha.

Somehow i am making sure that i have something to look forward to in the week, like meeting up friends for dinner and doing my hobbies. I gain more emotional recharge like this 🙂 And of course, praying to God everyday unload my worries and listen to christian songs keeps my mind off myself and on Him. 🙂

Although i can choose to feel grumpy and complain about it, but i know that the words spoken through the three hours is teaching me to become better in my work. I took up this job wanting to learn also.I am glad that he gave me encouraging words at the end and told me to be more confident of myself.

It is true that i am hesitant of my own abilities, and that itself became a stumbling block. Today’s lesson really help me to kind of wake up, i should stop being so critical of myself. I tend to beat myself up over every mistake i make. I am glad that he is willing to teach me. With his words in mind, i shall be more confident.

With today’s lesson in mind, i shall do better tomorrow with confidence and with God’s grace.

Before i go to my main topic, i just want to get this feeling out of my chest.

I am feeling scared of work. That brief moment of fear. I think that is because my boss texted me at 7 plus, after my working hours asking me about work. It disrupt my peace. Private time is important to me, i need it to relax and to recharge. That text took me by surprise. Its not that i am angry over it, but i am not used to disruption.

Okay done releasing, no more dwelling on it.

So now, back to main topic. Old channel 8 dramas are a big part of my childhood. I watched it when i was young all the way to now. Just want to share what drama actually impacted me that i still can remember it.

But it has been a relaxing morning. Listening to music and watching music videos.

I used to listen to this song

So fitting for this morning

I am still holding onto this belief that it is possible to find a meaningful job, find genuine people who are kind at heart and an environment that encourages unity and love.It sounds too idealistic especially in this world that is chaotic and selfish but i believe that there are people out there who seeks for the same things that i desire too.A cynical adult was once a disappointed young kid.I do not believe that everybody was born to be selfish and cynical, life have thrown them disappointing situations that they was not prepared for. And some felt that they do not deserve to get this, and they become bitter. They refused to let go of the bitterness and they trap themselves in it.But i believe that people can change, that if they are shown the right way, given the love that they need and realise that they have the power to take charge, they can become happy and carefree again 🙂

My dreams for this world is too big to achieve, i admit.There will always be somewhere, someone hurting.But my desire is to see people reaching their fullest potential and dreams. Seeing people being full of joy and hope. Seeing people using their trials to turn it into something positive.

So then how shall i go about making it a reality?

Be a counselor? Need to study psychology and be certified.Be a social worker? Study for a social work degreeBe a hr professional in a non profit organization?Be a entrepreneur? Need experience and money

This desire did not come about naturally. I believe that God placed this desire inside me. So since He put it inside me, i am believing that He will have a plan to bring it into fruition. And i also believe that the trials i have faced in the past is to make me wiser and stronger.

I still have not much of an clue on where to go after graduation. Although yes i have choices, but i want to get a confirmity from God. I dont want to throw myself into uni, studying for a degree that i may not even use in the future.

I was just randomly scrolling and looking through my previous blog posts.

And i realize i sound too logical. My posts lack the literature expression.

Okay i try to inject that feel next time. I want my posts to be more of an expression of my inner self through metaphors and poems. This blog is an outlet of my introspection. So i will just jump into depth at any random thoughts i have over the course of my life. Some posts may sound foolish, Some posts may sound crazy, but that is me. 🙂

I have working for nearly one week plus and i have learned many things.

I believe this job is going to teach me time management skills.

Part of my job includes making appointments, scheduling them and following up. Another part requires me to find relevant news articles from different countries and another part of it goes to doing ad hoc work or urgent things out of the blue. So i have to be alert at all times.

Work is hectic, i wont go and describe it further.

So for me personally, i always make it a point to go to work with a peace of mind and doing relaxing things after work to unwind. This is so that i gather enough energy and motivation for the next working day. It does make a significant positive difference in my own mood levels during the day.

When travelling to work, i ensure that i do not have to rush. I walk at a comfortable pace, and this is one of the many ways i relax. I will try not to purposely worry of the many things i have to do ahead of me. When i end work, i will put down my stressful self and just throw all my worries to God. I will do my best in between.

It is a matter of perspective. My motivation are mainly internal. So an emotional state of mind is important for me.

Anyway i have like about 5 to 6 weeks to go before i end my work 🙂And then i can rest for one week before i start my final semester in NYP.Time passes really fast. Have to cherish every moment.