I feel as if I am living in an upside, crazy world. Everyday is a repeat of the day before, with episodes of rage ( not from me ), thrown in for good measure. Where to begin? An outline is the way. Please read on…..WARNING!!!! You will be disgusted!

1. Father-in-law ( fil ) is a redneck that never left the farm. Has not bathed in five years, and smells like ass and old man. He believes a wipe down with a wash cloth every two weeks is more than enough.

3. Fil has severe emphysema and copd, yet still drinks ( who knows how much, goes through a half gallon a week ), this cheap, rot gut whiskey with mountain dew EVERY day, and wonders why he has problems sleeping.

4. Fil had dentures, but lost them (?). Wonders why his gums are irroding.

5. Fil wears the same smelly clothes for weeks, although I constantly remind him to change. He wears pants with urine stains and feces stains for days.

6. Fil has had an infection for years, but never finishes antibiotics and still continues to drink alcohol.

7. Fil is a pathalogical liar. He has done everything, from attending medical school to working in an underground tunnel for the government during the Vietnam War. The man barely has a 5th grade education and never has been any where near or involved in the Vietnam war.

8. Fil constantly hacks plegm all day. He spits this in a bottle. He is VERY loud. He also belches without so much as a ” pardon me “, yells a yawn when he wakes up and never, ever covers his mouth when he coughs or sneezes. Most of the time, his mouth is full of tobacco, so he ends up spraying it every where.

9. He sleeps in the livingroom and keeps the t.v. on 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Refuses to sleep in his bedroom.

10. Even when I am in the kitchen cooking or cleaning, he will go to the trash can and hack and spit in it, even though it is right next to counter. He will spit in the kitchen sink ( he sneaks to do this ). When I, very politely asked him not to do this, he denies it and becomes very rude towards me.

11. My husband's transgender sister, who looks like a very ugly version of Elton John, lives with us and does nothing,as far as cleaning, dishes, etc. She is very unstabble, a recovering alcoholic, is on mental disability. She was supposed to move a couple of weeks ago, but decided to stay a while longer. She is supposed to chip in for food, but it's like pulling teeth.

12. My husband's other sister lived here too ( also on menatl disability ), but he had to have her evicted because she kept calling the police, passing out, and verbally abusing her father. Eventually, he had a restraining order issued. She has called me every name under the sun and has threatened to burn the house down, with us in it. Last year she was involuntarily commited to rehab six times,because she is a drug addict. She is 49, but looks like she is 65. She is addicted to benzos, somas and crack cocaine. Last year, her live in boyfriend died in her bed, of an accidental overdose. She was too wasted to even notice when he died. She woke up the next day, after he had been dead for over 10 hours.

13. My husband started to drink every night, when we moved in with his father. We moved in to take care of him and get rid of his toxic daughter. When I question my husband about his drinking, he refuses to talk about it.

14. On several occassions, my husband and his sister have been in horrible and loud arguements. My husband looses it and begins to yell and shout. This terrifies me, to see him like this.

15. I have talked to my husband several times, about getting his father to see a geriatric doctor, to acess his cognitive abilities. I believe he has dementia. I have discussed this with his daugher too. No one wants to do anything about this.

16. My husband continues to smoke, although his father has severe emphysema, and he has had a heart attack a few years before I met him. I believe he has the beginning stages of copd.

17. My husband takes nothing I say at face value. He is combative, critical negative and complains about the most insignificant things. Sometimes, I really wonder if he is autistic or something. He repeats the same question or comment over and over until I have to get angry to get him to stop. He drives me crazy. He does not understand ” leave me alone “.

This is a dysfunctional, American family at work. I am barely holding on. It takes every bit of decorum I have not to explode and tell them all how I feel. I know denial is part of addiction, but this is insane. My plans are to move on. It will take a while,as I left my job to be the care taker for my father-in-law and I am broke. My husband has no motivation to change anything, even his low paying job that he complains about. He has no courage to face a situation head on. I am the pack leader of a pack I have no desire to lead. I do not expect my husband to help me in any way to move on.

My motivation to leave, is to look at the sick, old alcoholic in the living room and know that is exactly how my husband will wind up. I want to be happy again and I am normaly a happy, positive woman. I do not even feel like a woman any longer. I feel like a live in housekeeper with a roommate that sleeps in my bed ( my husband ). I pray, mediatate, walk and listen to music, to stay sane.