When Ad Copy Goes Bad! ( Warning: Purple Prose Within )

Ad copy in fragrances has a tendency to go overboard in its praise and sometimes a little too "imaginative" in its descriptions of the juice.

Please feel free to contribute your own, but I'll start off with my current favorite, Nez a Nez's description of their Marron Chic...

"The iris grows from a cocoa soil. The flower has a word to say.
The chocolate emperor accompanies her as a shadow.
He is her Pigmalion. Delicacy woos strength. A mixture of powders, a flower on the tip of a cannon. It is a white flag on the shoulders of a prestigious army.
The actors of this perfume admire one another. Iris moves freely and her roots enjoy the fresh soil.
No need to force the harmony, the wisdom is exquisite."

Re: When Ad Copy Goes Bad! ( Warning: Purple Prose Within )

@ Galamb_Borong: Thanks for making my morning! You might want to add a disclaimer: "Caution: Do not read while drinking hot beverages." You nearly got me.

Here's some authentic J Peterman:

The Small Island of Dominica. Columbus discovered it, named it, and left it alone. It's north of Martinique. And it is the home, since 1907, of a very good West Indian Bay Rum manufactured under the Dominica brand-name.

Bay Rum has a fairly quiet scent, less strong than anything called perfume, less strong than anything called aftershave, but not so quiet as to be boring. It is, in fact, quite sexy.

It is sexy the way skin begins to smell from strong sun, salt water, steel drums, breaking waves, moving palm branches and giggling coming from somewhere.

Men liked Bay Rum long before 1907, when the Dominica brand started. Men have liked Bay Rum since Spanish Main days. They like it for the least complicated reason in the world: it smells good.

A decent gift which often turns into a lifetime habit.

Alas, Nez a Nez wins this time.

Last edited by Mr. Bon Vivant; 4th May 2010 at 07:33 AM.

Anakin: What was that all about?
Obi-Wan: Well, R2 has been...
Anakin: No loose wire jokes.
Obi-Wan: Did I say anything?
Anakin: He's trying.
Obi-Wan: I didn't say anything!

Re: When Ad Copy Goes Bad! ( Warning: Purple Prose Within )

Kind of makes you wish that one of the houses (it'd probably have to be a niche house - the designer folk would never go for it) would just have something like "Smells like ass. But at least it's different."

Re: When Ad Copy Goes Bad! ( Warning: Purple Prose Within )

You made my morning, Galamb. Nez a Nez looks like the undisputed purple prose champion, and their website is a treasure trove of goofy gems. "Armenia in accordion is consumed. . .The shyness becomes the Minotaur."
"the black sun slowly burns a sacrificed citrus fruit"
It's like they ran their ad department's submissions through a Markov chain generator.

"The captivating dampness of a vault, a stairway made of stone. Going down, entering. Boxes, canvases and books, all scribbled on. A Caribbean chest, already explored. Pencils and broken leads like a garrison. A paint brush in the shape of a star, another in a glass. An abandoned wedge of lemon. A suave scent, raspberry wine, and a leather couch. Drapes to paint on. A candle. The artist scrutinizes, he draws. Shadows waver. Glimmers sublime the peculiar mood.

The humility becomes a Minotaur on the wall. Armenia in accordion is consumed. The smoke embraces the incense to crawl along the stone and saltpeter. The muse gives away her colours and her spirit watches the flame.

A nervous blade submerges into the paint. Shyness unites with the Minotaur. "

Re: When Ad Copy Goes Bad! ( Warning: Purple Prose Within )

Expensive, cheap, mainstream, niche - it ALL sounds kind of like that, if less so. I don't know if I've ever read a frag blurb that was actually more informative and clever than not. Instead:

"Our world-class artisans have meditated to create this once-in-a-lifetime blend. Sexy. Fresh. Uniquely beautiful. Notes of translucent oudh, pink flowers, cashmere, and several different types of water make this a daring new take on the classic chypre. The highest mountain in Peru."