In case anyone wondered why I've not answered any mail, it's because my mother took a turn for the worst and I had to run back to where they admitted her to the hospital to be with her and my father.

It seems there were many things wrong with her and this time, too many for her to fight. She didn't want to extend her life by life-support, nor did she want a nursing home or any other efforts to prolong her life. So she decided she'd had enough for her 80 years and passed away this evening, peaceful in sleep with her husband of 56 years and me by her side.

I understand and upheld her wishes. It still doesn't make it any easier to say goodbye.

So Jen, if you wouldn't mind, please take over the communities for a week or so until I get myself more together--I'd really appreciate it.

It's very hard 'cause not only was she my mom and greatest confidant and cheerleader, she was my best friend as well. So I lost a lot. It's hard, but I'm doing the best I can. She and dad had been married for 56 years and he's pretty stoic and a man of few words, but this has shaken him. So I'm trying my best to do as much for him as I can to keep him occupied.

I had to come back home yesterday but will be going back Monday prior to the visitation at the funeral home. I tried to get him to come and stay here, but her wouldn't have any of it.

I knew this day was coming. It just happened so quickly. I was talking to her at 2:30 Thursday afternoon and giving her some strawberry frappichino from Starbucks and she was gone by 6. I got to say my goodbyes as did she but it's still so damn hard.

I've been in your place, sweetie, and I know the pain you feel. There's nothing worse than the pain of a goodbye forever, but remember the good times you had and keep those memories close in your heart. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Thanks honey. I really appreciate it. I know you've been going through a rough spot and I'm sorry I've not been around, but as you can see, this is why. I've been at my parent's house more than here and it's run me ragged. Once it's over, I may sleep for a month.

Watching them suffer is horrible. I'm so glad my mom didn't have to go through that. Her kidneys shut down and the doctor said he could send her to Lexington to have dialysis, but that she'd have to live in a nursing home and be transported 3 days a week for it. She wanted nothing to do with it and hit it head on like she did everything else in her life and did it on her terms. As much as I wish I could pick up the phone and call her now like I did every day, I know her choice was best for her and in honesty, for her husband and me as well. Having to sit back and watch her suffer would have killed us both. And many years ago, long before her parents passed, she said she never wanted to go to a nursing home. I think that scared her more than dying. So she made her choice and stuck to it. That was my mom.

I'd love to have you come visit. I know I'll need other things to try and help me overcome this loss.