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The Axis of Evil Insists on The Star Wars Holiday Special

There has been a small, but vocal contingent of our little movie group that is demanding the Star Wars Holiday Special. I have been putting them off for most of a year. Occasionally they listen to me, but they seem uninterested in reason this time. Fortune may be with us, as our usual host and Master of the Projector Dave and his long-suffering wife are closing on their first house Tuesday, so they’re going to be more concerned with moving than with hosting a bunch of film masochists.

I keep referencing this classic XKCD strip. though again, this could be losing its efficacy through repeated exposure:

Honestly, Randall Munroe is one of the few cartoonists who can make stick figures look suicidal.

The real problem with the Star Wars Holiday Special is that, unlike The Paul Lynde Halloween Special, the entertainment factor is precisely zero. Paul Lynde’s was hoot-worthy in its every aspect, from the cameos to KISS lip-synching to their albums to the cornball humor. Star Wars Holiday on the other hand, is merely tedious, which is not only the kiss of death for any enterprise that aspires to entertainment, but also means that it lacks the gusto which can transform bad into tacky enjoyment, which is what drives most Bad Movie Nights.

For instance: take in this, which pulls your favorite Star Wars character through ten layers of unbelievable shame, but still manages to be fun, because it looks like the actors are having some fun:

And then compare it with this, which simply screams – no, screaming takes too much effort – it moans with “contractual obligation”:

Although… I was alerted by Mike Sterling, the proprietor of Mike Sterling’s Progressive Ruin, that apparently Bea Arthur’s character in the Star Wars Holiday Special is a character in a new Star Wars novel, Fate of the Jedi: Allies, and you know what that means. THASS RIGHT, BITCHES! IT MEANS THE HOLIDAY SPECIAL IS NOW CANON!!!!!!