Pokemon: Are you even trying?

I didn’t grow up tied desperately to Pokemon like a lot of my friends were. My parents never really bought me games when I was really young (I’m talking very low single digit elementary school. That’s right, pull out your GameBoy Color’s everybody). My only real connection was the show and the movies. I did like them, in the way that little kids like things, as an intense momentary fascination, only to drop it soon after for this, that or the other thing.

So why am I talking about this? Well, I came to the realization that Pokemon is, at times, incredibly stupid. Or perhaps lazy is a more appropriate word for it. Whatever. However, in my misguided state, I interpreted their efforts as being somehow well thought out or even clever. I’m stupid as well, by the way.

Let’s take some examples, shall we?

Please view the image above. The Pokemon depicted above goes by the name Ekans. Now, for those of your not well versed in the world of Pokemon, I don’t have time for you. Go to this website: Bulbapedia. Come back when you are educated. Anyways, yeah. This is Ekans.

Now, I’m going to drop some knowledge on you all. Get ready to have your minds blown.

Ekans is “Snake” spelled backwards

Now take a minute to clean the remains of your brain off the floor. We wouldn’t want the carpet to stain. What would the neighbours say?

But do you see what I’m talking about? Not but a few years ago when I first realized this, the worlds dumbest anagram, I thought it was so clever. “It’s just snake spelled backwards, and he’s a snake. WHAt a MASTaHPieCE!!!” It is only now that I look at this picture and think to myself, “What? But… that’s dumb.” And it is.

Look, this isn’t the only example. I’m not even gonna bother going to the even dumber evolution, Arbok. That isn’t even spelled right. Geez. No, I’m just going to skip to the next example of sadness.

These two bozos go by Sawk and Throh. You may be asking yourself, “Hey Vish, why aren’t you asleep? Isn’t it like midnight in Japan?” To you, I say be quiet. However, some others may be asking, “Hey Vish, how do you know which one is which?” The answer to that is simple. The first letter of their names is written on their face. See? The red guy has a “T”, thus Throh. And the blue guy has a….

Okay, so I could give some more examples of how sad this can get. So I will.

Please consider the following:

This is an Electabuzz. Wait what? I’m sorry? What is an Elect-a-buzz?

Okay, let’s seriously try to go through the thought process here. Elect… probably from “electric”. So they intended to make some sort of electric-type Pokemon. Okay, we are on the same page so far. But what about the “buzz”? It has antennae (or are those ears?). I guess that is a case for bug-type. And as we all know, all bugs go “buzz”. Especially a certain black and yellow bug. Wow, it’s a bee. Wait, why does it have a tail, hands and feet? No wings. I give up. I’m done.