I've lost count of the amount of people who say "But...why would you charge me? I'm your *however we happen to know each other*".

I knit, I sew, I occasionally take old jewelry and make it into something new (but this is very occasional and usually just for personal use), and for my job I write and I also am a musical therapist (and can play several instruments).

I love to knit, it's how I distress. However, I live in a warm climate and frankly between the two of us we only need so many hats and scarves. So I often knit up hats and give them to my friends or their kids. Recently I had a friend have a baby (in May and he's cute as all get out!), and when she told me she was expecting a boy I made up a few baby hats, two pairs of booties, and little stuffed animal. She's since asked if I'd mind knitting her up a few more hats as the ones I made her were awesome but he's getting a little too big for them. She offered to pay me, or at least pay for my supplies. I have a huge stock of yarn (given to me by a friend of my mom's whose a knitter too), so I told her to come over and pick out what she wanted and I'd knit them up, no charge. This is mostly because the same woman does my taxes, my partner's taxes, and my business taxes for a very very small fee (seriously, H&R block would charge me triple), so I'm happy to help her out. Plus, she offered to pay, and I need to whittle down this yarn.

Now another friend finds out I'm doing this for her (I dunno how, friend grapevine I suppose) and texts me to see if I'll knit a few booties up for her two daughters. She's very specific on the yarn she wants, how she wants them done, ect. So I tell her she'll need to pay for supplies (I can get them or she can her choice), and I'll need X amount for my time. Her response was that I was doing it for first friend for free. I said no I'm doing for tax perpetration services, and she's just picking from supplies I already have, plus hats are much less involved. She huffed, puffed, and said she'd just buy something off etsy, awesome, have a great day.

I get hit up all the time for "Can you write my business proposal", "Can you teach me to play an instrument", "I need this tailored, can you do that?". I don't mind doing favors for friends occasionally. And I'm all about trading. For instance, my partner and I get our hair done for free because I helped the woman who cuts our hair with her business proposal and am giving her daughter guitar lessons for free, and my partner built and designed her webpage for free. I mend all of my mechanic's clothes and fixes our cars (everything but oil changes) for free. I love trading. I have a skill, you have a skill, lets work together. But "Do this for free cause you love doing it", nope.

And my poor partner. She's a programmer with a lot of web design background. If anything happens to anyone's computer ever, she's getting the phone call. And they expect her to do it for free. She won't. She'll give them a discount usually, but they're going to have to pay something. Really has made those hit ups for free fixing fewer and further between. She'll still get the occasional "Ok, it's doing this, what can I do?" call, and she'll give them advice but if you want more then that, it's probably gonna cost.

I bow to all that has a skill I admire but do not have the knowledge or skills to execute. I have a couple of friends who do sew, they will do little fixes here and there for me, but anything bigger, like replace a zipper, rip out seams, and taking in I take to a professional tailor. It always angers me when I see people trying to take advantage of them and their time. Heck even when I needed just a password sign in put on my home computer, and to have something removed I paid my renter $20 off of his next month's rent. I treated it like a prado exchange. I got my computer fixed for cheap, way cheaper than calling geek squad or an independent IT person, and my renter got $20 for less than half hour's work. I could also see the look of surprise, and happiness that I didn't expect him to do for free or because we are friends. Now 2 years later, I've heard enough stories of his other firends and coworkers expecting him to do it for free because it's his hobby that he loves.

Whenever I need something sewed, I go to my grandma or my friend, E. Both of them have sewing machines and expertise, and time. I schedule it with them to see when they're free, and go and don't ask them to do anything (short of maybe re-threading the bobbin, because both of their machines make that as difficult as possible). I just ask them to let me use their machine and be available for questions if I have any.

I made a skirt this way. It's not the greatest, there's a few holes in the seams (that can be easily fixed by hand, and you have to actually know where they are to find them). And I let my sister use this skirt in her Ren Faire costume.

She is now demanding that I take it in for her. So I added a very loose sloppy seam along the side to take it in. And now she wants it shortened. Except she still wants to be able to wear it longer for the Ren Faire every year. And she wants a zipper in it. And she wants the front shorter than the back. And she wants to get rid of the drawstring along the top. But she still wants it to be there for the Ren Faire.

At this point I've told her that until I get my own skirt finished (it'll be a few more months yet, it's at E's and she's getting ready to move in a few weeks) that it simply won't be possible. She's getting to wear it for another faire this year, and she wouldn't be allowed to wear a skirt like she wants it to be at work, so I'm not really depriving her of anything she didn't already have. She doesn't get it, and thinks I'm terrible because I promised her (wrong) and now she's down one skirt in her wardrobe (again wrong).

Oh well. At least I know I can make one like that. It looks good on her, and when mine is done it'll look good on me too.

Except she still wants to be able to wear it longer for the Ren Faire every year. And she wants a zipper in it. And she wants the front shorter than the back. And she wants to get rid of the drawstring along the top. But she still wants it to be there for the Ren Faire.

O-kaaay. I know little about sewing, and even less about Ren Faire costumes, but I'm pretty sure we are talking about two totally different skirt styles here. But your sister insists that it be one skirt for both work and Faire. Could she be hoping that you'll give up and make her a second skirt?

Except she still wants to be able to wear it longer for the Ren Faire every year. And she wants a zipper in it. And she wants the front shorter than the back. And she wants to get rid of the drawstring along the top. But she still wants it to be there for the Ren Faire.

Except she still wants to be able to wear it longer for the Ren Faire every year. And she wants a zipper in it. And she wants the front shorter than the back. And she wants to get rid of the drawstring along the top. But she still wants it to be there for the Ren Faire.

Does she also want a golden goose and a hompa-lompa?

Wouldn't that be a Golden Ticket and an oompa-loompa? Or is it not a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory reference?

Except she still wants to be able to wear it longer for the Ren Faire every year. And she wants a zipper in it. And she wants the front shorter than the back. And she wants to get rid of the drawstring along the top. But she still wants it to be there for the Ren Faire.

Does she also want a golden goose and a hompa-lompa?

Wouldn't that be a Golden Ticket and an oompa-loompa? Or is it not a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory reference?

Yeah it was, I just blanked on how to spell Oompa-Loompa (and forgot to check).But Veruca already had the golden ticket, didn't she threw a fit in the golden egg room and wanted a Golden-egg laying goose too? I'm talking about the first movie, not the remake, I don't know if it was in that one.

I get hit up all the time for "Can you write my business proposal", "Can you teach me to play an instrument", "I need this tailored, can you do that?". I don't mind doing favors for friends occasionally. And I'm all about trading. For instance, my partner and I get our hair done for free because I helped the woman who cuts our hair with her business proposal and am giving her daughter guitar lessons for free, and my partner built and designed her webpage for free. I mend all of my mechanic's clothes and fixes our cars (everything but oil changes) for free. I love trading. I have a skill, you have a skill, lets work together. But "Do this for free cause you love doing it", nope.

Fixed that for you You have a great bartering system there so nothing is "free" exactly, because you get something of value to you in return for the things you do that someone else values. It's the people who say that last bit, wanting something in exchange for nothing, not even money, that's too much.

Except she still wants to be able to wear it longer for the Ren Faire every year. And she wants a zipper in it. And she wants the front shorter than the back. And she wants to get rid of the drawstring along the top. But she still wants it to be there for the Ren Faire.

Does she also want a golden goose and a hompa-lompa?

Wouldn't that be a Golden Ticket and an oompa-loompa? Or is it not a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory reference?

Yeah it was, I just blanked on how to spell Oompa-Loompa (and forgot to check).But Veruca already had the golden ticket, didn't she threw a fit in the golden egg room and wanted a Golden-egg laying goose too? I'm talking about the first movie, not the remake, I don't know if it was in that one.

And here I thought you were referring to the book, which is better than either

Hompa-lompa sounds like a Hokkien curry or something that I'd love to try

I loved the oompa loompa actor in the newer film (his dead-pan facial expression somehow struck me as hilarious) but otherwise liked the first film with Mr Wonka as all confident and bonkers. Although someone once told me that all the business with his father was in an early plot outline but Roald Dahl scrapped it in favour of what was eventually the published story, so maybe it's not entirely made-up. I still didn't like it, though.