The Fantasy Book on The Dead Man (Part 2 of 2) (The Undertaker, John Cena, WrestleMania)

In our last epidose of The Fantasy Book, The Undertaker had defeated Roman Reigns at Survivor Series. After that match, John Cena started bad-mouthing Taker which led to a scheduled WrestleMania match between the two men. Emotional verbal interactions continued between the two leading up to WrestleMania, creating a super big match feel.

Meanwhile, physical interactions between Cena and Taker were not as common, but Cena wound up getting the best of most of these. Eventually, Cena would demand of Kurt Angle to declare Undertaker’s career must be on the line in the match. Angle set it up that the match would be a career versus career match, with the loser being forced into retirement.

Three weeks before WrestleMania, Undertaker comes to the ring and let’s Cena know that he doesn’t care about the Career-on-the-line stipulation. He says that if he can’t defeat Cena at WrestleMania then he shouldn’t wrestle anymore anyway. Cena talks tough, but he fights tough. He proved at Survivor Series that this is still his yard. Taker says that only he can and will decide when he steps away from his yard. He tells Cena that he will have no such say over his career. The Undertaker says he will bury Cena and his career six feet under.

There is no Cena response that week, but the next week, Cena comes out to start Raw with a promo. Half way through, Undertaker comes out and stands on the stage. Cena insults him for interrupting his promo and asks what he wants. Taker says that he has heard enough. WrestleMania may be the big stage where he will end Cena, but that doesn’t mean he can’t kick Cena’s ass tonight.

Taker walks to the ring as Kurt Angle runs out to try to stop him. Cena stands in the ring, egging him on. Taker throws Angle aside and climbs in the ring. Just as he does, Cena jumps out of the ring. Cena grabs another microphone and says, “On second thought, save your strength, old man. You’re going to need it at WrestleMania and after to push your walker around.” Angle ushers Cena to the back as Undertaker stands in the ring, seething.

Later in the night, we see Cena backstage talking to someone and Undertaker comes up behind him. When Cena finally realizes Taker is standing there, he freaks out and tries to throw a punch. Instead, Taker grabs him by the throat and chokeslams him through a nearby table before walking off.

Even later in the night, an irritated Cena charges into Kurt Angle’s office and demands that Taker be punished for his unprovoked attack. Angle agrees that Taker shouldn’t have done that, but Cena has done much worse in recent weeks. Cena says that’s it, he’s had it. Not only is he going to retire Taker, but he is going to humiliate him. Cena calls himself “Big Match John” in the third person, does a Sting-type scream into the camera, and walks out.

On the go-home edition of Raw, Cena charges to the ring and demands that Angle makes the WrestleMania match a No-DQ match because he wants to beat The Undertaker into an unrecognizable mess, and doesn’t want a disqualification to end his career. Angle comes out and agrees, making the match a No-DQ, No-Countout, Anything Goes, Career versus Career match.

Cena smirks and says good. He is glad to hear that. And he promises that the Main Event of WrestleMania will be the most horrific scene the wrestling world has ever seen.

Backstage, after a break, Cena and Undertaker spot each other and make a run for each other. They brawl all over the backstage area, even tumbling into the arena’s boiler room as a nice nod to Taker’s history. Tons of backstage personnel try to separate them to no avail. Wrestlers and officials all try to keep the two men apart too. Finally, Cena charges Undertaker and winds up spearing him into the side of a truck. As several wrestlers pull Cena away, Taker slumps down the side of the truck into a heap on the ground. Cena is pulled away screaming, “It’s time for me to finish you, Taker! One week and you’re gone for good!”

The rest of the week sees people all over the wrestling world sharing their opinions on the upcoming match. Twitter stays lit with posts about the match. Talk shows book anybody they can to talk about the match. Despite all the other big matches scheduled for WrestleMania, the Cena/Undertaker Career versus Career match gains the majority of the press.

WrestleMania Sunday comes and Cena and Undertaker get the Main Event slot. Cena’s music hits at 10:15pm, so we imagine these two will go about 30-60 minutes or so. After Cena, Undertaker gets the biggest entrance of his career, including a retrospective video showcasing his career highlights.

Finally, the match begins and Cena appears to be much faster, using his quickness to avoid Undertaker’s strikes while sticking and jabbing at his opponent. Taker looks frustrated, and honestly old, as he just can not seem to get a hold of Cena. Cena, for his part, is not striking with as much power as he normally does do to his focus on speed.

A few minutes in Cena low bridges Taker, sending him to the outside. Cena follows with a chair shot to Taker’s back. The Spanish announce table gets cleared, but Cena turns and grabs the ring steps. Cena runs the ring steps into Taker’s shoulder twice, then sets up the steps next to the Spanish announce table. Cena picks up Taker and hits an AA on him through the table.

Cena is acting the most arrogant he ever has, mocking the Taker with a zombie walk. He hurls insults at Taker as he kicks and punches him at ringside. Eventually, Taker gets to his feet, but Cena kicks him and throws him back into the ring. Cena hits a slingshot Stunner on Taker and goes for a pin. The crowd, watching how thoroughly Taker has been beaten, even though it is early in the match, buys in that this could be the end. Taker kicks out right before three though and the match continues.

Cena continues to dominate the match in the ring. More and more this looks like a complete squash for Cena. Even the announcers are commenting about how this seems unfair and sad. Corey Graves states that he doesn’t want to remember Undertaker this way. He wants to remember him as an ass-kicking badass, not an old man getting his ass kicked badly.

Cena hits his five knuckle shuffle and his various moves of doom a little later, but only gets a two count. The crowd is booing the way the match is going, and Cena’s arrogance and playing to the crowd is just fanning the flames. Taker gives the crowd one small hope spot, blocking a Cena punch in the corner and hitting one of his own. Taker then throws Cena into the corner and charges him. Cena moves out of the way and Taker crashes shoulder first into the ringpost, falling to the outside. Cena laughs and follows him outside.

The next bit of the match takes place outside the ring, as Cena lays waste to Taker. Cena and Taker go up to the top of the ramp and Cena runs Taker into the LED display a few times. He also hits Taker with another AA and then pushes him with his foot to the edge of the stage. And then he kicks him off the stage to the ground. The crowd boos and the announcers say it might be time to end this.

Cena climbs down and grabs Taker by the leg, dragging him back to the ring. He dead lifts Taker up into the ring, follows in and covers him. The referee counts and barely gets a two count. The crowd cheers for the kickout, but Cena is livid. He goes outside and grabs a chair, returns to the ring, and bashes Taker with it around 15 times. He rolls him over for another cover, and Taker kicks out again, just as the ref’s hand was coming down for a two count.

The announcers correctly notice that despite the beating Taker is taking, his kicking out of pinfalls has gotten quicker and stronger as the match has progressed. Cena continues kicking and punching Taker, picking him up and bodyslamming multiple times. Then, Cena gets mad and flings Taker into the corner, hits him with a running clothesline, and sets him up on the top rope. Cena climbs up and hits a superplex! The ring shook with that impact. Cena sits up, says that’s it, and covers Taker again. Undertaker kicks out at on a one count this time!

Cena is getting more and more angry as the match goes on. He picks up a chair again and slams it over Taker’s back before slamming it down on the mat in anger. He picks Undertaker up and DDTs him onto the chair. He covers again and Taker kicks out almost immediately. Cena starts screaming at Taker, telling him to just die already! Cena picks up Taker and hits an AA on the chair. He picks him up and hits another AA on the chair. And one more on the chair.

Taker is flat on his back on the mat after taking those three Attitude Adjustments on a chair. He is not moving at all, and Cena parades around the ring, yelling at the crowd. He goes over to Taker, bends over and starts doing his “You Can’t See Me” hand thing. But Taker reaches up and grabs him by the throat. Cena is able to push away, but falls down. Cena, now sitting, looks over at Taker as he does the zombie sit-up!

As the crowd comes to its feet, Taker looks straight at Cena and says, “My turn.” Taker gets up and Cena scrambles to get up and attack first. But Taker hits him with a big boot and starts laying in the punches. The crowd is roaring at this point since they had seen no signs of life from Taker during the first half of this match.

Undertaker hits some of his routine moveset, including Old School and a Chokeslam. As he goes to whip Cena into the ropes, Cena reverses, but Undertaker hits the jumping high angle DDT to a big cheer. Taker still does not go for the pin however. He picks Cena up and tosses him over the top rope to the floor. He follows with the huge Dead Man dive onto Cena outside.

Suddenly, it seems like Cena can not mount any offense and Undertaker has caught an amazing second or third wind. Taker starts throwing Cena around like a rag doll, flinging him into the guardrail repeatedly, the ringpost, the ring steps, the timekeeper’s area, anything he can find. Taker grabs the ringbell and smashes Cena in the face with it. The harder he hits Cena, the crazier the crowd gets.

In an amazing move, Taker grabs Cena and hoists him up in a powerbomb position. Taker then steps up onto the guardrail, still holding Cena. He takes a few steps along the guardrail, Old School fashion, and flings Cena through the English announce table to a giant pop.

As officials and medical staff dig through the rubble, Taker takes a walk around the ring. He looks under the ring and pulls out a chair which he tosses up the ramp. He throws a couple more up the ramp. Then he pulls out an urn from under the ring. By this point, the medical staff has picked up Cena and is assisting him around the ring towards the ramp. Taker steps over and just peppers Cena right in the head with the urn.

The medical staff and officials step in front of Undertaker. Taker, in turn, destroys each of these guys. When he disposes of the last one, he turns around to Cena raising a chair to hit him. Taker casually grabs the chair, kicks Cena in the guy, and then nails him with a chair shot to the back. Cena tries escaping up the ramp to grab another chair and they do the spot with Taker stepping on the chair Cena is trying to pick up.

Taker drags Cena up the ramp, just brutalizing him. They make their way into the crowd and around the lower bowl of the arena. Taker simply stalking Cena, slamming him on the concrete, ramming him into the steel rails, hitting him with big right hands and clotheslines. At one point, Cena throws a desperate right which stuns Taker and gives Cena a chance to get to the railing. Cena climbs over the railing to create separation, but Taker dives over the railing and hits Cena with a huge shoulder block.

Taker picks up Cena and hits Snake Eyes on the ringpost. Cena appears to be dead at this point, but Taker doesn’t stop in the least. He continues to bludgeon Cena, tossing him into the ring. Taker follows and picks up the chair Cena had been using on him earlier. He sets it down in the exact middle of the ring. He slowly walks over to Cena and Cena can barely pick his head up. Taker bends down and Cena grabs Taker and rolls him up in a small package. The referee starts counts and almost gets the surprise victory, but Taker just barely was able to get his shoulder up.

Taker then kicks Cena right in the face. He then does his throat slash motion and picks Cena up. He walks over to the middle of the ring and hits a tombstone onto the chair. He doesn’t let go of Cena though. Instead, he stands back up and hits a second tombstone on the chair. And finally, he stands up again and hits a huge, jumping tombstone piledriver onto the chair.

He releases Cena and Cena is out. Taker grabs Cena’s arms, crosses them over his chest, sticks out his tongue, rolls his eyes back into his head, and the referee counts to three.

Just like that, Cena’s career is over and Undertaker re-establishes himself as the baddest bad ass in professional wrestling. The medics come out and tend to Cena, having to stretcher him to the back. Taker stands stoically in the middle of the ring as the crowd gives him a standing ovation. The rest of the locker room comes out onto the stage and gives Taker a standing ovation.

After a little while, Taker turns to the stage and bows to the wrestlers there. He then looks around the entire arena, doing a complete 360 turn. He then turns again to the hard camera, but has his head bowed. He raises his right hand in the air and the crowd continues to clap and chant for him. Slowly he lowers his arm, drops to his knees and looks up to the roof. The gong sounds and all the lights in the arena go off. It sounds again and the lights come back on but Undertaker is gone.

And WrestleMania ends with that scene. We won’t see Undertaker in the ring again after this. Even though he won the match, he has finished his career with one of the most devastating beatings he has ever given an opponent. He avenged his loss to Roman Reigns at Survivor Series and had what many would say was the best win of his career at WrestleMania where he defeated, and retired, the great John Cena. And Undertaker can headline the Hall of Fame class the following year.

Don’t worry about Cena though. Now that he has turned fully heel during this program with Undertaker, he can come out of retirement in a couple months. The crowds will hate that and he can play it into his persona to make him the most hated wrestler in the business.

That’s all folks. Let me know in the comments what you think about this last chapter of Undertaker’s storied career. Have a great week, everyone!

Keon MarekDon't blame the Inhumans for this since this comic ignores continuity, and has plenty of plot holes in it. Really it makes out Black Bolt that he is nothing but a voice, but we just got a Black Bolt...

Keon MarekBoth created by Jack Kirby, ya this whole mini I feel writers at Marvel should be allowed to cherry pick what happened and what didn't because it is the only way this story works. Ok that's a lie...