Colleagues in the newsroom have heard me compare the Evening Tribune email in-box to the U.S. Debt Clock. The comparison is valid only in that they both are in a constant, upward flux: the debt clock captures the national debt at any given time, with updates by the milisecond. As I look at it now, the Debt Clock is at $17,509,727,698,178, but now it has changed, darn it.

The Debt Clock page on the internet actually includes more than 100 categories of figures, with constant scrolling numbers. Everything from the debt, to the deficit, to the U.S. population to corporation assets are chronicled in a vision-destroying and mind-bending series of scrolling, rapidly-advancing numbers.

Reporter Jeff Cole and I agreed that staring at the page long enough could induce seizures. Dick Cheney apparently overlooked the terrorist-torturing potential of the Debt Clock.

The news email account is a very similar busy bustle of breaking media buzz from around the globe. Our email logs in a continuous stream of news releases, story ideas from PR departments, event listings, political pitches and business bonanzas.

I’m not referring to “spam,” which anyone with an email account experiences daily. I am talking about email messages from real people with real intentions of getting their news in the newspaper. My iPhone currently has 1,691 email messages.

For every important news item that comes via email — say like the third-quarter honor rolls from Canaseraga Central School (publishing honor rolls from local schools is the bread and butter of a small, community newspaper) — we receive a batch of, well, let’s call it less worthy news. For example: every Thursday I’m emailed the American Soybean Association’s weekly newsletter.

Last week the soybean folks shared information about the formation of an agriculture working group. The association also notes that it is pressuring the Senate Finance Committee to raise the user fee that barges and towing companies pay into the Inland Waterway Trust Fund from 26 cents to 29 cents per gallon of fuel. Fascinating. There is even a weekly sponsor for the newsletter. The most recent missive was funded by BASF Advanced Weed Control. I need Advanced Email Control.

I kid the soybean association because I love them. Really, I do. Since moving to Hornell last December, the most exciting happening on my Thursday nights is the weekly email from the soybean growers.

Who else is clogging our email? Funny you should ask, Rob Astorino! Now it is my suspicion, that come the Wednesday after the first Tuesday in November later this year, N.Y. gubernatorial hopeful Astorino will never be heard from again. That’s no knock on Astorino. I’m sure he’s a good man and a fine public servant. I just believe he is going to lose the election. Very badly.

Page 2 of 2 - In the meantime, however, Astorino’s campaign brass emails us daily, keeping us abreast of the candidate’s every move. Even trips to Wal-Mart and confession.

I can let you know that on Friday, the Westchester County Republican was in the studio of K104.7 in Beacon, N.Y., at 8:45 a.m., serving as a guest judge for something called the “Cupcake Wars.” I’m not kidding. After radio guest spots later in the day in Rochester and Syracuse, he attended the Delaware County Lincoln Day Dinner in Delhi Friday night.

Back on April 29, Astorino met with the “Coalition of Cabdrivers” in New York City. The meeting was held at Joe’s Place Restaurant in the Bronx. I would have attended, but I couldn’t get good directions.

And so it goes.

Here are a few more news items trending in our email.

- Salle Mickey wanted us to know about home tours that highlight energy efficient homes — in West Virginia.

- On April 30, we received a statement from U.S. Labor Secretary Perez about the Senate vote on raising the minimum wage. The bill failed, and Secretary Perez lamented the total dysfunction and uselessness of the U.S. Congress. Then he announced his candidacy for the Senate.

- Here’s another email from Soraya Khineche, this one ranking the top ten tequila brands. It did not come with offers for free samples.

- Finally, I now know the names of the attorneys considered the “Super Lawyers and Rising Legal Stars” in New Jersey, thanks to an email from Rebecca Hanoski of “Super Lawyers Magazine.” Which reminds me of a lawyer joke: Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad? A: Senator. Here’s one more: Q: What do you call a divorce attorney in Heaven? A: One-of-a-kind.

Note to Rebecca: I would never mention your magazine in our newspaper, not even for all the soybeans in Iowa.