Thursday, August 11, 2011

Hang in here with me: I’ve got a lot of political news to cover first, butt then I have a fashion scoop!

First, as you know – according to JJ yesterday – Big Guy “will not rest until he is confident that every American who wants a job can find a job.”

Working towards that end, BO’s off to Holland, Michigan today to tour a battery factory and read talk about how he and his magic wand (the EPA and DOT) just mandated that heavy trucks (big rigs and buses) must increase their fuel efficiency by 20%. Not only does that reduce our carbon emissions, butt figuring out how to do that should create or save a whole bunch of jobs – so we’ve got real synergy going here.

Then Air Force Won will drop him in New York City to attend two DNC fundraisers. And every time Big Guy visits anywhere we creates at least 2500 temporary jobs for people to close off streets and highways. Not to mention all the extra overtime hours for local police departments.

Last night of course was our first Big White Iftar dinner without Lady M, who voted “not present.” After last year’s “feast” she swore she would never attend another Iftar. The halal meal is a little short on ribs, so shortly after this year’s Ramadan menu was announced she decided to visit Coach Robinson in Oregon.

Whoops! This isn’t our Iftar – this is lunch with our volunteer fund-raisers at Ted’s Bulletin. Hey, I thought you were supposed to fast during Ramadan.

Anyway, Big Guy and TOTUS made a few remarks at the dinner. I’m beginning to think that he’s going a little deaf or at least tone deaf. He took the opportunity to address his predominantly Mooselim audience by talking about 9/11, and the Mooselims role in it.

Maybe it’s just me, butt I don’t see how this could be anything butt offensive to Mooselims and non-Mooselims alike. Butt like I said, maybe it was just me, Big Guy thought he was just being inclusive.

BO and Honest Abe host an Iftar dinner last night.

In the face of the stock market’s 3 week, $3 trillion dollar loss, so far, (1800 points! And that’s before the markets open today!) and the entire world in flames, Big Guy throws an Iftar and calls for everyone to come together and pray? So it’s come to this. Somehow I don’t think that’s going to calm the market.

Anyway, after JJ announced that that BO won’t rest until you all have jobs, if you want one (if you like collecting your unemployment benefits, Big Guy will let you keep them), he announced Big Guy’s schedule for the rest of the month. August 15-17 is his Rural Bus Tour for WTF, followed by our annual WTF 9 day Martha’s Vineyard family vacation, which JJ points out isn’t really a vacation because the President can’t ever leave the job behind. Of course, he hasn’t always felt that way. Mr. Claire Shipman used to think that Presidential vacations were photo ops. Maybe the whole team could use a little refresher course in “how not to sound tone deaf.”

Butt now on to more important matters: fashion. More specifically, a fashion faux pas. And no, not on Lady M’s part: she was just the fashion victim, yet again.

I was just clearing out my hard drive from last month when I ran across this picture of Lady M announcing another one of her healthy food initiatives; Wal-Mart bringing organic veggies to urban food deserts.

If you look closely, you’ll see the fashion faux pas, and no, it has nothing to do with the lunch-lady dress that MO is wearing.

It’s the lady behind her:

Do you see it? Uh oh!

“That bitch stole my look!”

First seen on Lady M during our Latin American wine tour last March:

At first I thought maybe it was a hand-me-down from Lady M to one of her little people, butt then I realized she wore it again after the food desert blitz, when we went to church a couple of weeks ago:

Since I haven’t heard anything about this I’m going to assume that Lady M didn’t see the photo at the time either. And as I know she never notices any other people in her orbit, we (and that poor woman in the copy-cat dress) may be safe. As long as none of you mention it to MO in any of your many fan letters.

I guess it’s just the price you pay for being a fashion icon, imitation being the ultimate flattery and all. And since I know we’ve packed on a few extra lbs. since our Wine Tour, it’s also good to know that the new containment systems are working so well. They are constructed with a new, cutting edge steel-coated titanium thread which is considered a real miracle fiber. Although it is rather hot for this time of year. Butt Lady M has NASA working on that little problem too, since they have time on their hands now. This also saved or created at least another 2500 government jobs.

The Wons – are they a team or what?

Oh, and one last word on JJ’s press briefing yesterday: he also said “And I don't think Americans out there would begrudge that notion that the President would spend some time with his family.”