Number 50. Well this took way longer than it should have. A wise man once said to me that you can use a thermometer to tell if a woman is ovulating. I felt pretty uneasy then and I have a similar feeling now.

Comedy and drinking are my two main passions, but life has been busy as of late. I’m back in the dating game and trying to raise a baby by myself. Dating is rough because I can’t meet a girls that shares my interests of her having low self-esteem, not eating, and Grand Funk Railroad.

The baby is just… In one word: Disappointing. I know you can’t expect a baby to do much, but I’ve seen “Baby Geniuses” six or seven times and those kids killed Dom Deluise or something; I can’t get through that movie sober.

Anyway, here’s a beer review. Share it, follow me on Twitter (@BoozeTweets), and like the Facebook page for sporadic humor and unreasonable demands.

Hell or High Watermelon

Appearance: Murky and golden and volatile, all fun things to look at. The head is a bright white cloud that dissipates so very disappointingly quickly. The color almost seems like what one would stereotypically imagine as the color of beer, a strong yellow with a nice white halo.

Smell: There is a stunningly noticeable watermelon aroma. Not quite like fresh watermelon though, more like the smell one gets with watermelon candy. Also present is a very strong malty sweetness that I find overwhelming.

Taste: I’m a bit thrown off by the watermelon taste. It’s just like having a mouthful of liquefied watermelon jolly ranchers, something that I would probably enjoy, but not when I’m trying to enjoy a beer. This beer is totally lacking in any sort of balance. I’m knocked over the head by the combined sweetness of the watermelon and malt. The body is nice and there’s a pleasant aftertaste reminiscent of tropical fruit, but the sweetness is just too much.

Overall: This is a great beer to have outside on a hot, sunny Summer day, maybe out by the pool or on the deck for a cookout, but that’s about it. I can’t ever see myself drinking this in any other situation. It’s not terrible, but in my mind it’s not beer. It looks great, I do have to give it that, but looks can rape your mouth with sugar. 58/100