Even Buddhists, stopped on the street at random in Marina Del Ray, all expressed the belief that PETA are, "assholes". In desperation, it seems, the group has allegedly taken to armed robbery as a means to pad their depleted funds.

"It appears that they've gone off the deep end entirely", says FBI Special Agent Crawford Metabolite. "These wackos have taken to brazen armed robberies, in broad daylight. Basically, stick ups. The MO is ingenious; a topless woman in a gorilla mask will hold up a victim, using a handgun as incentive. It's ingenious, really. All of the victims have been men, who cannot seem to report much more detail of the robberies than "Man, she had a really nice rack!"Ingenious, I say!"