Welsh folk can sing,
black folk can dance
and all of the serious
art is in France

But we here in Blighty
are tall strong and mighty
and never turn up
in the incorrect pants

The French
they have Paris
but call it Paree
so typical really
of Les Grenouilles

and on ancient Olympus
The Greeks, without shame
gave a spear to a nudist
and called it a game

The British however
are whip-smart and clever
We button our lips
and we never say never

Our discreet interventions
in foreign conventions
are always specific
but never direct.
Our order’s maintained
by the natives we trained
and forever determined
by whom we have pecked

We have buggered them all
and as buggery goes, this is
buggery writ
in Shakespearean prose As
they all wait their turn to
catch fire, crash and burn
those are matters entirely
beyond our concern

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