How many times have you felt so infuriated with someone that you just wanted to lash out and speak your mind? We’ve all felt this way at one time or another. If you haven’t, you better check for a pulse.

We all get angry and frustrated. Maybe it’s a coworker who can’t see things your way or maybe it’s the e-commerce site that claims they sent your item a month ago and it never arrived. Whatever it is, our initial reaction is anger. And, in today’s connected world, we often use email to express that anger.

So, when you feel like this, go ahead and write out the email and send it.

What? Did you think I was going to tell you not to?

Okay, okay, yes, there’s a catch. When you write out the email and send it, send it to yourself. Yep, you are going to be the recipient of your very own nasty gram.

When you get it, read it three times and delete it.

Then, write out a professional email that communicates your feelings and what you would like the other party to do to rectify the situation. And, do it in a way that respects the other person.

Remember, you can get what you want and still be respectful. You can even be nice and get what you want. What a concept. And there’s more. When you do this, you are practicing good human relations. Maintaining harmonious relationships both with people you do and don’t know makes your life and their lives less stressful.

So the next time you get really annoyed at someone, go ahead and let ‘em have it. Really give it to them as you write your email. Then send the nasty gram to yourself, delete it, and write a better email. You’ll feel better, the recipient will feel better, and you’ll probably be more likely to get what you want. What a concept.