President Trump will visit France this Friday, November 9, for a military celebration marking the 100th anniversary of the end of World War I. This will be his second visit to the country often called America’s oldest ally. Which makes it a good time to ask, what do the French think of America these days?

Admit it, you want to be French. Or at least be able to pass yourself off as French, like a spy who fools everyone with her secret identity. What a dream it is to speak perfect French, be stylish and sexy, and actually know what postmodernism means.

But to do that you have to pass through the different stages of Frenchness, slowly graduating from one to the next. Let’s take a look at these stages as they occur in France.

You’ve probably heard of famous magicians like David Copperfield and Penn & Teller, and maybe even earlier ones like The Great Houdini. But did you know that the man considered the father of modern magic was French? And that he’s the reason magicians today wear top hats and tails?

I recently picked up a book called Legendes de Provenceby Eugene Bressy. Over the next few months I’ll dive into some of these stories and let you decide whether you believe them or not. The first one was about the fearsome Tarasque monster.

Here’s the second one, about truth, lies and jealousy in the court of the Count of Provence. As Molière once said, “There are no ramparts against gossip.”

Becoming a fonctionnaire (government bureaucrat) is a popular career choice in France. Fonctionnaires have jobs for life, lots of vacation, and they are known for not working very hard. This makes them envied but also the butt of a lot of jokes. You can read all about the life of a fonctionnaires in France, plus learn a few of the best jokes, here at Frenchly.

I recently picked up a book called Legendes de Provenceby Eugene Bressy. It’s a series of short stories about the legends of Provence: famous heroes, spiritual leaders and the occasional monster. Over the next few months I’ll dive into some of these stories and let you decide whether you believe them or not.

I’ll start with the most famous legend of them all, that of the fearsome Tarasque, who terrorized Provence until he met a plucky young lady named…Well, I’ll let you read all about it at Perfectly Provence.

My wife Val and I spend part of each year in Provence and it’s allowed us to learn the language and appreciate French culture. We knew before we moved there that food and wine are a big part of French life but we didn’t realize quite how big until our neighbor Fabienne gave us a “taste” of real French life. She invited us to her birthday party, which went on and on and on…

She was the most powerful woman in 16th-century Europe, ruling France for nearly 20 years. She brought haute cuisine to the country, created the Tuileries Garden in Paris, and was responsible for one of the bloodiest massacres in French history. People thought she was a sorceress who murdered her enemies. Her name is Catherine de Medici and she was one tough lady.