How many of you look at charlieissocoollike on You Tube? Real name Charlie Mc Donnell. I love him-no, not like that. He’s only 19, fresh, funny and talented. My friend Mr S Fry made a charming end credit for him. I will write more about Mr Mc Donnall soon but do check out Charlie’s Duet with Myself.

Did I tell you that I had TERRIBLE food poisoning after our delicious lunch at The Standard Grill? The rabbit ragu served with the ‘home made’ pasta and chanterells did me in. I have not vomited for YEARS. I mean, hanging over the pan and violently chucking up the entire contents of my belly whilst simultaneously shitting my white comme des garcons under pants.

I don’t expect much from life. I really don’t. But I get so little in LA. Like so many people I may end up being one of it’s finest victims but…I doubt it. I am heading east. I’ll tell you all sooner or later why.

The goat project has been put on hold until I have some more spare cash. The film I want to make is ready to be born so I will just make it. I may just be in it. I am all a quiver about making a new film. Can’t get it out of my head.

My friend Joan thinks that I am all over the place but that’s how it has always been-all over the place.

I tweeted today about being grateful. It’s easy to complain about life, then when it gets better forget to be grateful. I am sitting in a warm, well decorated room overlooking the Hudson River, my belly full and friends to see. What more could I want?

I am really glad that I came to the USA for as long as I have. I have learned so much from you people. Good and Bad.

More facts emerging from the Kristian Digby funeral fiasco. Kristian’s mad mother apparently very dismissive about KD at funeral to his visibly upset father. Friends and some family members and work colleagues unable to attend the funeral-asked to stay away. Real friends got together at tree in Torquay and buried box of memories. One friend reporting that Kristian’s coffin was dragged into church rather than carried respectfully. I will repeat my earlier assertions: Kristian’s mother is an insensitive hag who ruined great portions of her son’s life. The truth will out Mrs Digby.

Met some PR type gay in Soho House the other night. Single. attractive but after ten minutes of conversation..really ought to have stayed in the closet. BACK IN THE CLOSET for you young man. He told me I needed to filter what I was saying-we were talking about politics. What a fucking boooooar.

Finally, did I mention to you how much I loathe Sophie Dahl? How she went out of her way to ruin my experience of LA? That poor sweet crooner husband of hers will see straight through her conniving ways sooner or later. You can’t marry a woman 8 inches taller than you-why? Because you never get to look her directly in the eye.

There’s nothing more exhilarating that an unresolved resentment don’t you think? One day I will recount the entire sordid story for your delectation.

Staying in Soho House before moving to Jane Hotel. Soho House is like coming home. Hand written notes and presents from the manager Pierre. The burgers we ate last night were delicious. The staff are kind and considerate and incredibly helpful.

I had bad news and good news yesterday. The bad news was about going home-the good news was about staying home. I am being deliberately obtuse.

God, it was a very long day. Up at 4am for my 7.15am flight. Up in the air for 15 minutes then turning back mid air with instrument problems-something to do with the altitude meter. I don’t know. It meant that we didn’t take off until 1.30pm so I got to know my fellow travelers very well-too well. I also became acquainted with the appalling customer service on offer-or not on offer-from American Airlines. American Airlines, shit service, shit planes, vile attitude. My fellow travelers were so incensed that airport security had to be called. I, on the other hand, did not lose my temper once. I was a paragon of virtue.

Arrived in New York at 9.30pm, Soho House by 10.30pm.

Slept turbulently in my huge bed, the tossing and turning on the airplane revealing itself as I slept. Full of fear, dreaming my house in Malibu was burning-the second apocryphal dream about that house. The last included a bunch of women. My nightmare was so bad a few nights ago my screaming out actually woke the neighbors.

Sophie Dahl’s cookery show is a sham-so say the Brit TV cook clan. Not really surprising-she must be one of the most inauthentic people I ever met. What the hell does she know about cooking? I threw a dinner party for her, Zoe Tryon and Alecia Moore (Pink) at my house last year. Sophie was sulky, bad tempered and rude. Gosh, how the vile are rewarded.

Apparently one should never invite just women to a dinner.

Staying in Jane Hotel on Hudson. Very basic, but lots of fun. Full of cute young Spanish boys, half naked in the corridors on their way to the shared bathrooms. My room has a bathroom. Elevator smells of disinfectant, the corridors of fresh paint. The restaurant downstairs has been designed to look a little like it was very old but actually just looks unfinished. The ballroom is charming as is the Moroccan influenced bar. I have a corner room over looking the river. I like a view.

Dinner with Joan and Joe last night at Kenmare. All round disaster. Food had to be sent back; my chair was pummeled by wait staff that seemed to lack any basic spatial awareness. The vegetables were simply inedible. The steak over cooked. The pudding… instantly forgettable.

Lastly, why are there so many insipid, suburban gays? When I was growing up all the gays I knew were sophisticated, arty and fabulous-it occurred to me that the dull gays might have tended to stay in the closet. I wish they’d stayed there.

These beautiful days in NYC were spent with Jake but I wasn’t allowed to write about it.