We have a full weekend to play with for New Year's, which means partygoers might be more apt to abandon reason completely, only to suffer the consequences when they wake up in a dumpster the next morning with a terrible hangover and an inexplicable mohawk. That having been said, rough times are ahead should you decide to employ any of the following gadgets in your New Year's celebration. And even if you do have fun, well … you probably won't remember any of it.

Dewar flask beer stein

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Designed by a former cryogenics technician, this customized stein uses a top-of-the-line Dewar flask to keep beer ice cold from the first sip to the last. To put that into perspective, a Dewar flask is a vacuum thermos commonly used to store super cold liquid nitrogen for days or even weeks at a time. If that wasn't enough, the largest of these mugs can hold over one gallon of beer. Simply put, it is the most scientifically advanced vessel you will ever get drunk out of. $235 to $515; Etsy via Nerd Approved

If there is one complaint I have with the iPhone, it is the glaring lack of beer opening technology. Sadly, there is not an app for that — but there is a case. Indeed, the iBottleopener can help keep you connected and inebriated just about anywhere. Here's hoping that version 2.0 allows me to saber-open my New Year's Eve champagne bottles. $20; iBottleopener via That's Nerdalicious

36-shot bandolier

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Wearing this shot-glass bandolier is kind of like bringing 36 guns to a duel. Sure, you have more firepower (especially if you pair it with the Shotgun drink dispenser), but you couldn't possibly fire every round — and it only takes a couple of bullets to bring 'em down anyway. But even after the enemy has been vanquished, you keep blasting away. And when I say "enemy," I'm referring to your liver. $10; Budk via That's Nerdalicious

Bottoms Up beer tap

Draft beer is awesome anyway you can get it, but the Bottoms Up beer tap pours nine times faster than traditional beer taps. (The pouring record currently stands at 56 beers in a minute.) This means you will forget the failures of the past year nine times faster. It also adds the novelty value of pouring beer from the bottom of the glass to the top. As you can see in the above video, this appears to reduce foaming problems despite the increase in speed. Pricing TBA; YouTube and Bottoms Up

The Bosch IXO Vino Screwdriver comes with a corkscrew attachment so you can open up that bottle of wine like a man. Then, after a few drinks, you can use it to get started on that New Year's resolution about fixing things around the house. Of course, the next morning you'll have to amend that resolution to include the things you tried to fix but drunkenly broke instead. $59; Amazon UK via That's Nerdalicious

RC Cooler

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If the RC Cooler was your designated driver, you would be in big trouble because he is absolutely loaded with beer. Fortunately, his only function is to drive those beers from one partygoer to the next using the radio-controlled remote. It has room for 12 cans or bottles, with ice, and can be driven up to 40 feet away from the controller. $60; Amazon

Party Tap drink dispenser

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If you want to be the life of your New Year's Eve party, look no further than the Party Tap Drink Dispenser. You wear the dispenser like a backpack, so it basically turns you into a walking keg — the dream companion of every drunk guy in the room. Just be careful what you wish for. $19.95; Baron Bob

Ever heard the saying "beer before liquor, never sicker"? Well, if that's true this glass is a disaster waiting to happen. As you can see it has a side for beer and a side for shots. Since the beer side is much more substantial, it stands to reason that you would start with beer more often than not. So, let's just say that it's a good thing New Year's Eve falls on a Friday night this year because if you end up with a Shot In The Pint, you are going to need a full weekend to recover. $19.95; Home Wet Bar via That's Nerdalicious

When your friends ask you who you've been on the phone with all night on New Year's Eve, you can tell them his name is Jack — Jack Daniels — and you have important business to attend to. That's right, Binocktails makes flasks that are built to look just like real cell phones, digital cameras and binoculars. $11.99 to $19.99; Binocktails via Nerd Approved