this is an online commonplace book as well as the home of ballast reviews

Saturday, December 26, 2009

All Over Der Trouserz

A great story from British naturalist and broadcaster David Attenborough in his autobiographical Life on Air (London: BBC Books, 2002)—

[During a live interview on BBC-TV, Austrian ethologist Konrad Lorenz agreed to appear on camera, unrehearsed, with a greylag goose. Moments later] a keeper from the London Zoo walked on to the set carrying a goose which he put down on a low table that stood between the professor and myself. The goose, naturally enough, was somewhat perturbed at suddenly being thrust under the bright television lights and began to flap its wings.

"Komm, komm, mein Liebchen," said Konrad, soothingly, putting his hands on either side of the goose's body so that its wings were held folded down. He was holding it so that its head was pointed away from him. This was sensible in that he was not then within range of the goose's beak which it showed every wish to use, if it got the chance. But that, of course, meant that its rear was pointing towards the professor and the goose, in a flurry, squirted a jet of liquid green dung straight at him.

"Oh dear dear," said Konrad. "All over der trouserz." He released the goose, which flapped off the set and was neatly fielded by its keeper, took out his handkerchief and carefully wiped his trousers clean. Then, finding his handkerchief in his hand, in his embarrassment, he promptly blew his nose on it.

He completed the interview with a green smear down the side of his face…