Now,
while I can't promise you that the date I've selected will be quite a while
back - the event in which this date is linked with certainly is.

So, let's set our time machine back eleven years to May 31, 2005. But before we go and see what
happened on this particular date, we have to go off course just a bit and go
back further in time to the year 1972.

Otherwise
known as what could be one of the worst years of Richard Nixon's life.

Those
of you who were around and are old enough to remember what happened in
1972...it could very well be summed up in one word.

Watergate.

The
political scandal which saw Nixon resign as President in the summer of 1974,
kicked off in June 1972 when five men were arrested on charges of breaking and
entering the Watergate office complex in Washington D.C. Specifically, the area in which the men
targeted was the Democratic National Committee Headquarters. At that time, the reasoning behind the
break-in was not known, but when the Federal Bureau of Investigations got
involved, their lengthy investigation found some very troubling information.

The
investigation proved that there was definitely a link between the money that
was found with the belongings of one of the men involved with the break-in, as
well as money that was being stored in a slush fund used by CREEP (The
Committee for the Re-Election of the President). Keep in mind that 1972 was an election year and Nixon was about to
conclude his first term as President of the United States.

A
few months passed, and Nixon was re-elected as President in November 1972. But as the calendar changed years to 1973,
the investigation intensified, and by June of 1973, more damning evidence came
to light against Nixon and his administration.
Between the testimony of former staff members at the Senate Watergate
Committee, and the realization that there was a tape recorder in Nixon's
possession that may have recorded some valuable conversations, it seemed as
though Nixon's world was about to come crashing down around him.

And
it did.

After
a legal battle between the United States Supreme Court and Nixon - who refused
to submit any of the recordings taped between 1972 and 1973 - the Supreme Court
ruled that Nixon was obligated to release the tapes and its contents as
evidence. And when the tapes were
listened it, they confirmed what many had suspected. That Richard Nixon had tried to cover up some activities had
taken place after the break-in, and that he used federal officials to delay and
deflect the investigation.

Nixon
formally resigned his presidency on August 9, 1974, and Gerald Ford was sworn
in one month later. Although Ford would
later pardon Nixon for his role in the Watergate scandal, the damage was done,
and Richard "I am not a crook" Nixon's legacy as President was
forever tarnished.

But how did this whole scandal get tipped off?
Surely if Nixon knew that what he was doing was wrong, you would think
that he would have taken all the necessary steps to make sure that no
information leaked out drawing suspicion towards him and his
administration. After all, if the
general public got word of what was going on, it would surely mean impeachment,
or even prison time.

See, this is where we go back to our original timeline date of May 31, 2005.

You see, back in 1972, it was long suspected that somebody who was either part
of Nixon's administration or was involved in the Watergate break-in
investigation was secretly feeding information to two reporters from the
Washington Post - Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward. The two men had covered the whole investigation and scandal in
the newspaper for the two year duration, and the Post was known for publishing
inside information about the case before any other media source.

It was later revealed after the scandal had ended that Bernstein and Woodward
had a secret informant who went by the name of "Deep Throat". And it was the information that Deep Throat
revealed that helped the investigation continue onward, leading to the biggest
political scandal of the 20th century - well, until the Bill Clinton and Monica
Lewinsky story broke in the late 1990s anyway.

But
nobody knew who Deep Throat was. And it
was a secret that was kept closely guarded for thirty-one years after Nixon's
resignation.

The list of suspects as to who could have been Deep Throat was long. Fred F. Fielding, Ron Ziegler, John
Erlichman, L. Patrick Gray, William Rehnquist, Henry Kissinger, and even future
Presidents Gerald Ford and George H.W. Bush were suspected as being Deep
Throat.

If
Richard Nixon knew who Deep Throat was, he certainly didn't talk. He mostly kept a low profile after his
resignation, and he passed away on April 22, 1994.

It
would be eleven years later, on May 31, 2005, that the identity of Deep Throat
would finally be revealed - in of all places, Vanity Fair Magazine!

And who was Deep Throat? Well, that
would be W. Mark Felt, who at that time was Associate Director for the FBI!

The
news was published in an article on the magazine's website, written by John D.
O'Connor - an attorney who was acting on behalf of Felt. At that time, Felt was suffering from the
effects of dementia, and initially even denied that he was Deep Throat. But once O'Connor had his article published
in which Felt admitted that he and Deep Throat were one in the same, it was
more or less confirmed by the two journalists who worked closely with him in
the Watergate investigation.

So, I suppose the one question that needs to still be answered is why did he
come forward with the information at that particular time? Some might say that it was personally
motivated, with Felt wanting to provide information to Bernstein and Woodward
to satisfy his disappointment over L. Patrick Gray being named Director of the
FBI over himself. According to Woodward
and Bernstein, they say Felt had a loyalty to his country and felt he had to
step up before Nixon damaged it beyond repair.

Or, it could just be that most of the key players in the Watergate scandal had
passed on at the time Felt made his announcement and felt that he had nothing
to lose. Felt himself would succumb to
his disease just three years later in December 2008.

All right...so now to tie this entry to the one
I wrote yesterday. Well, obviously I
was not linked to any political scandal.
The closest I ever came to that was when "Elbowgate" in the
House of Commons took place on my 35th birthday! And, I certainly haven't kept a secret for 31 years. At the age of four, I was a chatterbox back
then!

But I do know what it's like to have so much emotion eating away at you for so
long. I get the impression that with
most of the Watergate key figures deceased, Felt had no reason to fear any
repercussions for speaking out.

And for me, being out of school for 16 years gave me the courage to speak out
against something that really held me down and controlled me. Yesterday was the day I decided to take it
back, and I feel so much better because of it.

I guess I just want to say thanks to everyone who might have taken something
away from what I wrote yesterday. It's
nice to know that there are people who understand and who are supportive, and I
will never forget that.

So, that concludes 31 days of new entries.
I'm going to take a break for a couple of days and will be back on
Friday with a new entry. I reckon I've
earned it!

Monday, May 30, 2016

The
more I thought about it, the more I want to write this here. At 35, I hold no regrets. I have no desire to try and sugarcoat things
any longer, and I definitely don't want to rebuild any bridges that I may have
wanted to build after setting them ablaze some sixteen years ago.

The first thing I am going to say is that this piece is directed towards a
group of people in general. If you just
happen to be one of these people and you happen to be friends with me or have
me friended on Facebook...chances are this note will not apply to any of you,
and you can continue to drink your coffee, read the paper, or bury your
children in the sandbox. Whatever
floats your boat.

To the rest of you. Pay close
attention. In all likelihood, this will
be the last thing that I ever say to any of you.

You
know, I was actually inspired to write this post after overhearing a few of my
workplace colleagues talking about the prom.
In my department, I'm almost considered middle-aged, as some of the
people are older than I am, and many of the others are high school seniors. But that in itself is not a bad thing, as I
get along with mostly everyone in my department.

And
many of you probably know that the end of May and the beginning of June is
designated as prom season. Some schools
in my area have already had their proms, and some still have yet to hold
them. But essentially a prom is blowing
hundreds of dollars on some fancy gown or rented tuxedo, dancing in the middle
of a hall filled with balloons, crepe paper, and dangling silver stars that the
dance committee spent hours making, and for some people getting drunk off of
the spiked island punch.

At least, that's how I imagine that prom would have been like for me. I never went to mine. Unless you consider the grad party where the
only time I really did anything was when I sang "Love Shack" during
the karaoke portion of the evening...and that was only because I was dared to
do it. But I don't really consider that
a prom because there was no dancing. I
don't even think there was a cake! Can
any of the four people who I still keep in touch with from high school tell me
if there was cake? If so, I never got
any.

But
it wasn't just prom that I turned my back on in high school. Truth is, I never really did much of anything
in high school.

See
this building? Some of you will
recognize it right away. But to the
majority of you who have no idea, I'll tell you. This is Brockville Collegiate Institute, located in Brockville,
Ontario, Canada. This is the place
where I attended high school from September 1995 until June 2000 (remember,
back in the days in which I was a student, we still had the OAC year in
Ontario). And this was the place in
which I can legitimately say without a shadow of a doubt that I absolutely
hated the most in my entire life.

Let's
put it like this. Whoever tells you
that high school is the best period of your life is either lying, extremely
shallow, or Al Bundy squeezing a size 9 foot inside a size 4 shoe at the local
shoe store.

If
your high school experience is what you make of it, then I'm afraid I didn't
make much of it. It wasn't always the
case though. When I first started high
school and entered grade nine, I was really excited to be a part of a new
school, and I wanted to have the ultimate high school experience that was
filled with dances, parties, football games, school clubs...and yes, even
homework assignments. But by the time I
was in my final year of school, the only thing that came true was the homework
part.

For the entire time I was a student at BCI, I never truly felt like I
belonged. I was a fish out of water, so
to speak. In a school filled with Red
Rams, I was totally the Black Sheep. In
a way it seemed fitting though. Red and
black were our school colours.

And
why did I see myself as the black sheep of BCI's Class of 2000? Well, I'd say that there were many
reasons. I always felt as though I
never measured up to the rest of the school.
I was a kid from a working class background who knew how much the value
of a dollar was and became a master of stretching it to its brink. In comparison, many of the students that
attended BCI at that time seemed more materialistic, snobbish, and
holier-than-thou. Maybe it was just how
I perceived it, but I always felt that the majority of people at my school
looked down at me as if they questioned why a scrub like me would dirty up
their school. And believe me, some were
extremely vocal about it too.

I
never forgot the time that some kids decided to decorate my locker with some of
the biggest balloons that they could find.
Sounds nice, right? Well, two
things were wrong. One, it wasn't my
birthday. And two, somehow they found
out that I had a sensitivity to loud noises that caused me to burst into tears
every time a balloon popped. I guess
they were using the opportunity to get some free entertainment at my expense.

The frustrating thing about it was that none of these boys - believe me, I
refuse to call them men - even knew who I was.
They were just going on hearsay from some friends of theirs who knew me,
and who didn't like me. But I suppose
that was par for the course when it came to the BCI Class of 2000. For all the preaching that they did about
being welcoming to all students, I certainly never felt welcome.

And
you know, I didn't deserve that. I
still don't feel that all these years later I deserved the horrible treatment
that I got from the majority of the Class of 2000 at BCI. I didn't deserve to be the target of a smear
campaign from kids who knew me from grade school and who wanted my high school
life to be a living nightmare. I didn't
deserve to be shunned and ignored by most of you because I didn't wear designer
clothes, looked like a Backstreet Boy, or wasn't perceived as cool because I
was the chubbiest kid in the class. I
especially didn't deserve to have my belongings inside my locker set on fire
because you all thought it was the funniest thing ever even though that event
triggered a depression so severe that it brought me social anxiety and made me
almost do something at age sixteen that I look back on with regret.

I didn't deserve any of that. And yet,
BCI Class of 2000...that's what you gave me.
EVERY DAMN DAY.

The
sad thing is that I look back on that time, and I realize that most of you were
horrible, bratty CHILDREN who mistakenly believed that they were the best high
school students in the world and that you would be popular the rest of your
lives. Guess what? You weren't popular with me. And, while I realize that I was the one
member of the Class of 2000 that you never really saw as much of
anything...believe me...my voice and my thoughts counted, even though you were
too absorbed in your fat egos to really notice.

You know what the real shameful thing about all of this was? The shameful thing is that despite how badly
the majority of you thought of me...I still thought the majority of you were
worth getting to know. The more you
treated me like dirt, the more that I wanted to understand why.

I suppose there was a part of me that felt that if I could sit down and have a
one-on-one talk with all of you, I could understand what it was about me that
was so repulsive and so horrible that it would justify you freezing me out and
treating me so terribly. I honestly
would have listened to what you had to say if you had just given me the chance
to reach out to you.

But that's just it. Most of you never
really knew me at all. You were so
co-dependent on the people that you hung around with that you closed yourself
off to those who were new and who just wanted some assurance that maybe there
was a place for them after all. And
it's not just school that this happens at.
I can think of a few workplaces (including my own) where this happens
all the time, and it's not a good feeling no matter how old you are.

I
guess looking back on it, that's the main reason why I just saw BCI as a place
where I went for seven hours to learn about things that really had no bearing
on my current life now, and went home.
I never did any sports, clubs, activities, or anything like that until I
was in my last year of high school. I
think maybe the only reason why I even bothered with doing some activities in
my last year of high school was to show the Class of 2000 just what they were
missing. After all, they had more or
less ignored me or humiliated me the previous four years. The unfortunate thing was that I hadn't
really changed my personality much between 1995 and 2000. They just never really took the time to get
to know me. And that's on them. Not on me.

When
I told my co-workers that I purposely skipped my prom, some of them were
absolutely shocked. To many of them,
prom is the best way to end a high school experience and I certainly don't
blame them for feeling that way about what essentially amounts to an overpriced
school dance. But of course, I
swallowed my pride and simply told them that prom never really interested me,
and I would have rather spent the night listening to music in my bedroom while
playing a marathon of Final Fantasy games.

The
truth is...I lied to them.

I
wish I did have that prom experience. I
wish I could have gone to the prom with a date on my arm, dancing the night
away underneath those balloons, crepe paper, and hanging stars.

I wish I had signed up for at least a couple of clubs. I think that if I had enough confidence in
myself not to care what the Class of 2000 thought of me, I would have signed up
for the Leadership Development Program.
I think that I would have made a great leader, and I think that it would
have definitely helped me become a better person.

I wanted to sign up for the "Reach for the Top" team. Even though I felt humiliated compared to
the other people that signed up, I would have studied and I think I would have
done very well. I wouldn't have even
minded being put on television!

I
wanted to go to those football games - not because I cared about the sport -
but because it was a great way to bond with your classmates and make new
friends.

I wanted all of those experiences that shaped a high school career.

I just never wanted those experiences with the BCI Class of 2000. Because as far as I'm concerned, I would
have rather had those times with people who had the courage and respect to get
to know me...not with a bunch of cowardly children with no balls who only
wanted the "elite" of the school to be their friends.

News flash. You weren't elite back
then. You aren't elite now. Most of you probably don't even know how to
SPELL the word elite.

So, I guess my final word to the BCI Class of 2000
is this. I hereby disown myself from your graduating class - because it sure as hell isn't mine.
As far as I'm concerned, I want no part of anything to do with any of
you ever again as long as I live. Do
not send me any invites to alumni gatherings or high school reunions. I guarantee you that I have more important
things to do with my time. You all had
your chance - five years, might I add - to get to know me for who I was and not
for the bullying I suffered or the half-truths you believed to be gospel. You all blew it.

I am no longer Matthew Turcotte, Brockville Collegiate Institute Class of 2000
Graduate. I am instead Matthew
Turcotte, a regular average Joe who treats everyone with the dignity and
respect that I was never shown inside the hallways of BCI.

Sunday, May 29, 2016

Well,
this is the last Sunday Jukebox of the month, which means that it will be the
last song from 2011 that I will be featuring in this space.

Well, at least for a while, anyway.

But, I've decided that for this edition of the Sunday Jukebox, I would choose a
song that was an enormous hit during the summer of 2011. And, I'm sure that it's a song that will
continue to play throughout the summer of 2016.

But
before I tell you all about what this song is, why don't I share some
statistics about this song with all of you?
Because even though I give away the song title in the heading of this
post, it's nice to know just how successful this song was.

For instance, did you know that this single was one of the most downloaded
songs ever? It ranks within the Top 6
songs purchased by digital media. The
total number of downloads? Over fifteen
MILLION! Phenomenal!

This
song also happens to be the second #1 hit single for the California based band
Maroon 5 - their first since they released "Makes Me Wonder" in the
spring of 2007. The band partnered with
a female singer for this track, which became her fifth #1 single. And in regards to this female singer, she
became the fourth female singer to score a #1 hit single in three different
decades. Only Janet Jackson, Madonna,
and Britney Spears can boast that achievement.

I
suppose that working together came naturally between Maroon 5 and Christina
Aguilera. After all, she and Maroon 5
lead singer Adam Levine have shared judging duties on "The Voice" off
and on - well, when Gwen Stefani or Shakira aren't available, that is.

And,
what do you get when you combine two Voice judges and a song inspired by the
dance moves of one Mick Jagger from the Rolling Stones?

Well...you get this hit!

ARTIST: Maroon 5 f. Christina AguileraSONG:Moves Like Jagger

ALBUM: Hands All Over

DATE RELEASED: June 21, 2011PEAK POSITION ON THE BILLBOARD CHARTS: #1 for 4 weeks

Yeah,
who knew that a song that is basically about a young man trying to impress a
girl by doing the same dance moves that Mick Jagger would perform on stage
(either sober or intoxicated) would be the most listened song in North America
for the better part of a month?

It
wasn't just the United States, Canada, and Mexico where the song topped the
charts. If you took all the countries
in the world, and did a survey on where the song hit #1, you would have a list
of twenty-seven different nations! I
guess the whole world was movin' like Jagger back in 2011!

For the record, I do have to admit that I like this song. Though, when it comes to Maroon 5 singles, I
have a tendency to like some of their slower jams - think "She Will Be
Loved" or "If I Never See Your Face Again" with Rihanna. Still, it's a solid hit, and one that was
played on the radio for the better part of a whole year!

The
song itself is quite a different style for the band, as most of their previous
material was a blend of rock music - both hard and soft. The song "Moves Like Jagger" was
more of a dance-pop type single, and at first Adam Levine and the rest of
Maroon 5 weren't sure how it would resonate with listeners. Luckily, everyone gave it a chance and it
became one of 2011's biggest hits.

Having Christina Aguilera as a guest vocalist in
this single certainly made it pop even more.
There's no argument that Christina Aguilera has been one of the most
talented female singers to come out of the late 1990s, and even though it's
been a while since she's had any new singles chart on the Billboard Hot 100,
the natural talent she has will definitely be a part of who she is. And that singing voice in my opinion helped
make the song chart as high as it did.
Watching the music video for this song, you can tell that there was a
lot of chemistry between Levine and Aguilera.

I think it worked better than it would have had Adam Levine invited Blake
Shelton to sing on "Moves Like Jagger". That would actually be a very scary thought.

And what did Mick Jagger think of the song?
Well, he actually liked it a lot!
He remarked that the concept of the song was "very flattering"
and he even made fun of the song in one of David Letterman's Top 10 Lists where
he commented that it was frustrating that he wasn't getting any music royalties
from having his name mentioned in the song.

At any rate...if Mick Jagger himself is praising the song, you know it had to
be good!

Saturday, May 28, 2016

I
just wanted to thank you all for checking in and reading this look back on 2011
- the year that this blog began. Over
the course of the last five years, I've discovered that I'm a completely
different person at 35 than I was at 30 - at least on an emotional and dare I
say spiritual level - and while a lot of the things have remained the same in
my life, I've been able to look at them a lot differently.

I
mean, at age 30, I was thinking that there would be no way that I would be able
to afford to move out of apartment life, and just four years later I bit the
bullet and did exactly that. Mind you,
the transition has not been completely easy, but it was a necessary change that
I had to make in order to be happier, and to control my sanity.

(Believe me - if you knew any of my former neighbours, you'd understand my
desperation for a change of scenery.)

And you know, sometimes when it comes to change, it can be a bit jarring at
first. Especially when the thing that
changes just happens to be something that you've gotten used to for several
decades.

In this case, I want to talk about the time right around the end of
2010/beginning of 2011 when the Archie Comics Publication team made the
decision to eliminate all digest titles from circulation.

Note
that I said DIGESTS - not DOUBLE DIGESTS.

I
have to say, as a fan of the Archie series for almost thirty years of the
company's seventy-five in existence, this news really brought a lot of mixed
emotions. And, while at the time of the
announcement there were only four digest titles still in circulation, it was
still sad to say goodbye.

The
four titles that ended their run in late 2010/early 2011 were Archie Digest,
Betty and Veronica Digest, Tales From Riverdale Digest, and Jughead and Friends
Digest.

In
the case of the latter two, they were new digests that were created with the
demise of two other older digests - Laugh Digest and Jughead With Archie
Digest.

But
Archie Digest was the company's first ever digest. Since 1973, it had been entertaining fans with the promise of two
new stories (one in the front, one in the back) and the rest of the book was
filled with reprints of classic Archie tales.
It was a great way to introduce people into the world of Archie and not
feel like they missed out on some of the older tales. The Betty and Veronica Digest also had a long run, debuting in
1980, and much like the Archie title, it ran two new stories, and several older
stories, only mostly featuring Betty and Veronica stories.

Here's
a screenshot of the first Archie Digest I remember reading. I must have gotten it for a Christmas
present given the cover gag.

And this is the first Betty and Veronica Digest that I remember owning. And yes, I actually can remember! My memory when it comes to Archie comics is
photographic.

So, what prompted Archie Comics to decide to quit selling the digest
books?

I would think one factor would have been the fact that Double Digests outsold
the single titles - literally by double the amount! For every ten Archie Digests that were sold, twenty Archie Double
Digests would be purchased. And you
know, from a consumer perspective it made more sense. After all, you got twice the entertainment with a double digest
than you would an ordinary digest.

Another
reason? Digests shrank to the point
where it almost became a waste of money to purchase them. At the time Archie Digests first became
available in 1973, they were fifty cents for 160 pages. By the time the final issue of Archie Digest
was printed (#267), the cost was $2.50 for EIGHTY pages!!! I don't know about you, but I didn't like
paying five times the price for a book half its original size!

So,
the final issues of the four remaining digests were Archie Digest #267, Betty
and Veronica Digest #208, Tales From Riverdale Digest #39, and Jughead and
Friends Digest #38.

But this didn't mean that Archie had given up on digest publication altogether.

Instead, they decided to bring out three replacement double digests to make up
for the four that were axed. It also
gave the company a chance to make some more money by releasing higher priced
books onto the marketplace, but I suppose any company would do anything to
increase profits.

In the place of Archie Digest came a title called World Of Archie Double
Digest. As of May 2016, it's on its fifty-ninth issue, and continues to be one
of Archie's more successful titles. I
particularly have a soft spot when it comes to the World of Archie title,
because it reprints more of the older stories that I used to love reading as a
kid. It's a classic mix of old and new
and it also is the title where you can read more of the one-off stories that
Archie Comics dabbled in. Stories
starring That Wilkin Boy, Sabrina, Pipsqueak, Lil Jinx, and Katy Keene. It was a real grab bag of stories that any
Archie fan could appreciate.

Jughead and Friends and Tales From Riverdale morphed into the generic Archie
and Friends Double Digest, and much like World of Archie, the book focused on
classic tales from old and new. It was
also the book where you could find most of the SuperTeens series, so if you
were a fan of Pureheart the Powerful, Captain Hero, and Evilheart, this was the
book for you.

Unfortunately,
this series didn't last as long as World Of Archie has. After 33 issues, it was once again revamped,
and is now running under the Archie's Funhouse title. Though, to me, I see no reason why the company did this, as it
seems to be the same exact book! But
hey, some of the decisions the company has made haven't been the greatest -
such as letting go of most of your classic Archie artists and writers to make
way for new blood who are changing Archie way too fast.

Yep. I said it.

As for Betty and Veronica Digest - it became B
& V Friends Double Digest. And
weirdly enough, it was the only title to continue the same number sequence that
the original title used...which explains why it's currently at issue #247! But the B & V Friends title was another
positive step for the company because it became the title in which Betty and
Veronica merchandise was promoted. When
the company was promoting a new hardcover book that featured Betty writing in
her diary as a fourteen year old, they printed excerpts of the book over a six
issue spread. It was almost like a
sneak preview for us to sample before we committed to buying the whole
book. I have to say, it's quite smart
marketing on Archie's part!

It's hard to say where the future of Archie Digests will go over the next few
years. 2016 is looking like another
year in which Archie will have to reinvent the digest style once more. But I survived the reinvention periods of
1989, 1992, 1997, 2005, and 2011. I'm
sure I'll make it through this one too!

Friday, May 27, 2016

Previously onJem Reviewed, Jem and the Holograms took part in The World
Hunger Shindig, which saw romance, jealousy, theft, and charity. What a combo, huh?

It's
time for us to take a trip to China, and watch Episode
10: Adventure In China. Great title, huh?
Apparently the people in charge of titles didn't think it was, so they
left it off! So, I took initiative and
made one. I don't know what font they
used, but I think mine doesn't look too terrible!

It
looks like Jem, Kimber, Aja, Shana, and Rio are on the trip to China. And based on conversations between the band,
we learn a few things. We learn that
Jem and the Holograms were invited as specials guests of the Chinese government
to perform a pair of concerts for the people - the latter of the two being at
the Great Wall of China. And we also
learn that Aja is really excited about the opportunity, meaning that it appears
that Aja's background is Chinese.
Either way, it's a phenomenal opportunity for the band, and if memory
serves me, this is their first concert abroad.
What could go wrong?

Oh, right. The Misfits are on the same
flight. They too are performing in
China, but not nearly with the same amount of fanfare that Jem and the
Holograms are getting. That must
suck. The Misfits started their career
before Jem did, and yet Jem is getting more attention. At least Stormer is trying to get
assimilated with the culture of China by reading about it, but Pizzazz and Roxy
couldn't be bothered.

Jem
and the Holograms arrive at the airport to a hero's welcome, and for some
reason we see a little girl in the crowd.
Who is she? And why so much
attention on her? What are the odds
that this won't be her first appearance?

The Misfits - or, should I say Misfats - have a much smaller crowd, which Pizzazz
is irked by. Roxy is grateful that they
have fans though, even though she doesn't notice the spelling mistake on the
banner.

Jem
and the Holograms and the Misfits arrive at the security checkpoint where
everyone is instructed to remove all metal objects including jewelry before
entering the country, as per international law. Three of the four Holograms abide by the law. Can you guess which one doesn't?

Naturally, Jem is very hesitant to remove her earrings because they are her
link to Synergy which causes her to become Jem in the first place, and the
guard is doing his job and refusing to let her through until she complies.

At least that is until a government official who just happens to be in the area
tells the guard that it's all good, Jem and the Holograms are guests, and that
they can bend the rules this time.
That's...contrived. But
whatever, Jem passes through the metal detector and gets into China.

The
Misfits are left wondering how Jem has so much clout - and honestly I can't say
I blame them! But even more curious is
why Jem freaked out over the earrings in the first place. Stormer seems to think that they might be
good luck charms, while Pizzazz thinks they might be worth a lot of money. But it's Roxy who makes the connection that
Jem's paranoia about her earrings could mean that they're important to the
Holograms act, and this prompts Eric to do some more scheming. Interestingly enough, this is the last we
see of Eric this episode, so I'm guessing he's leaving his dirty work to the
Misfits.

Back
at the hotel where the Holograms are staying, Kimber, Shana, and Aja are
enjoying a warm mineral bath, and they encourage Jem to get inside and relax
before their first concert. Jem agrees,
but she has to remove the JemStar earrings because getting electronic equipment
wet is never a good idea. Why the
earrings wouldn't work. And Jem could
possibly get electrocuted.

Of course, this sets the stage for the Misfits to pull off their plan. When Jem is in the bath, Roxy snatches the
earrings from the bench that Jem left them on, and flees into the darkness...or
some dark area, given that it's like two in the afternoon.

And
when Roxy is out of range, Jem changes back into Jerrica, which leaves the rest
of the Holograms in shock for two reasons.
One, they can't understand why Jem changed into Jerrica so quickly - and
two, they can't believe that Jerrica would wander into the mineral bath FULLY
DRESSED! I mean, those clothes would
weigh fifty pounds soaking wet! Why
would she project a hologram of a bathing suit when Jerrica could just wear a
bathing suit? And this is just one of
the many things that make NO SENSE in this episode!

Jerrica
realizes that the earrings are gone, and she is at a loss over what to do. Okay, Jerrica, here's what you do. Go to a store and buy pink hair dye. It's the 1980s, I'm sure China sells
it. Dye your blonde hair pink. Then sing your heart out at the
concert. It's simple, it's easy, and
really, you know you can sing, so what's the big deal?

Apparently, Jerrica thinks having no earrings is a big deal, and she flat out
cancels the concert!

I
need a headbash picture right now.

Naturally,
the Chinese government officials are disgusted by the lack of commitment caused
by a pair of lost earrings, so they decide to give their concert to the
Misfits, who rub it in their faces. And
Jerrica and the others dejectedly leave, telling the officials that they WILL
make it to the Great Wall concert.

On
the way back to the hotel, they run into Rio where Jerrica makes up an excuse
about why Jem isn't there, which Rio seems to buy - even though he doesn't
understand why the concert couldn't go on.
Join the club, Rio.

But
as the Holograms glance at the Misfits performing their concert, Jerrica proves
her brain isn't completely dead when she notices that all three Misfits are
wearing JemStar earrings. And Jerrica
decides that they need to give them a special ovation. I wonder if this involves brass knuckles and
baseball bats?

No,
it's just a confrontation. Which leads
to a pedestrian chase set to a Misfits tune.

"You
Can't Catch Me". A solid song from
the Misfits, and one which could be interpreted in a couple of ways that range
from positive to negative. I'll let you
make the call.

This
chase between the Holograms and the Misfits becomes exhausting to watch. First they board a sky lift where the
Misfits get at the controls to shake things up for the Holograms...okay,
seriously, whenever there is electronic equipment, the Misfits have to play
with it, and they are always unguarded!
Should this not tell people anything?

Then
the Holograms try to catch them by climbing up a mountain, but Aja dislodges
one of the statues which almost kills Kimber and Shana. Seriously, Aja? You're supposed to be the SMART one!

Then
they lose the Misfits during a judo class taking place outside...though Pizzazz
throwing a guy to the ground is somewhat funny.

The
chase ends on a train - seriously, how many miles did they cover? And despite a valiant effort to get the
earrings back, the Misfits dispose of them.
Stormer throws her pair into a textile basket passing by. Roxy's end up at the site of an
archaeological dig. And Pizzazz's end
up inside a random garbage can. We
don't know which pair was the real one, but since all three are gone, it looks
like Jem and the Holograms are sunk.

And
this means it's time for another song!

I
said in the last entry that Jem and the Holograms' strength seems to be in
ballads. And as far as "Something
Is Missing In My Life" goes, it's a very good one. But somehow singing about a pair of lost
earrings kind of cheapens the punch that the song is supposed to make.

Here's
your Jem Trivia for today.
All of the songs in the series - for Jem, the Misfits, and any other
singing parts - were arranged by Anne Bryant.
And it's not her fault this song was used so poorly. If it were used anywhere else, it would be
phenomenal - and rumour has it that this song does make another appearance
later on in this series. I'll keep an
eye on that as I do more of these.

It
appears as though the Holograms are dejected and lost. It also appears that Jerrica still hasn't
thought of my idea to fake being Jem - unless Jerrica has the singing voice of
a 60-year-old chain smoker and Synergy actually auto-tunes her voice. They consider dropping out of the Great Wall
concert, but Aja insists on picking up a magazine so she can determine whether
or not she can still read Chinese.
An...odd request, I must say.
"Yeah, our concert is screwed, but if I can still understand Chinese,
it's not a waste!" As
it turns out, Aja's decision is a good one.They find an article about how a jewelry company will be issuing new
earrings based on the JemStar earrings...so naturally, they head to the factory
to see what's up.

It
appears as though the earrings that Stormer was wearing ended up at this
factory, where the workers have now succeeded in making millions of pairs of
them for sale all over the world. I
guess China was a superpower in manufacturing even back in 1986! Of course, now that the earrings have been
made, the owner of the factory sees no need for the original pair, so he gives
them to Jerrica. How nice of him to
profit off of Jem's merchandise before giving her the earrings! At least Jerrica's taking it well.

Too
bad it meant nothing. Stormer's
earrings turn out to be a dud. Too bad.

We also learn what happened to the earrings that Pizzazz was wearing in a
random scene. A father has picked them
out of the trash can that they landed in, and he has decided to give them to
his daughter as a gift. Look, it's that
same little girl that was at the airport!
Very peculiar...

Once
again, the Holograms make the decision to cancel the concert, and once again,
it's Aja who holds them up, saying that she wants to check out some exhibits of
ancient Chinese artifacts. The others
are like..."what the hell, after today we'll probably be banned from
China, Hong Kong, and possibly even Taiwan...we may as well enjoy it now."

For
what it's worth, the Holograms do have a lot of fun immersing themselves in
Chinese culture - at least until Aja notices something odd about one of the
exhibits.

Well,
we now know what happened to the earrings Roxy was wearing. Apparently they're now a treasured piece of
Chinese history. We all know the truth,
and so does Jerrica, who immediately snatches the earrings and puts them in her
pocket! Oh, Jerrica...you stupid,
stupid woman...don't you know that stealing things from a museum is a felony?

At least if they get arrested, they have a legitimate reason for missing
the concert. There. I said it!

Oh,
but fear not. The curator of the museum
arrives and he too notices something strange about the earrings. After a quick scan with a magnifying glass,
he discovers that there's a message on them that says COPYRIGHT 1985.

No, I'm kidding. But he does deduce
that the earrings were manufactured during the 20th century, which means that
they are NOT valuable - at least in a historical sense, anyway. So, Jerrica and the others are free to go
with the earrings.

Too
bad Roxy's earrings don't seem to work either.
The grim reality sets in that their dreams of playing the Great Wall are
all but over, and Aja even starts to cry.
It's...strange to see the normally cool Aja get so emotional about a
concert, but I also look at it like this.
This is Aja's homeland in many ways, and I can see how playing in the
country where her family came from would be a very fulfilling thing for
her. It's just sad that Aja's dream of
playing in China might not come true.

Of course, if Jerrica would just go to a store and buy pink hair dye. Just saying.

Jerrica
and the Holograms arrive at the Great Wall gig and Jerrica makes the decision
to let the officials know that Jem won't be there. But before she can do that, she is distracted by a disturbing
sight.

Look! It's that girl that keeps popping
up! And it looks like she's being
bullied by a group of boys. That's not
cool! Jerrica decides to play hero and
rescue her from them...at
least that is until the girl flips one of the boys on his back and they run
away in terror!Awesome!

Jerrica approaches the girl, tells her she was brave, and the girl opens up to
her. Her name is Lin,
and she is a huge fan of Jem and the Holograms. The reason the boys were picking on her was because they were
making fun of her earrings - the same JemStar earrings she got as a gift from
her father.

Jerrica is forced to tell Lin that Jem has had some bad luck and won't be
performing the concert. Way to rip out
her heart, Jerrica! And you call
yourself a mother for foster girls?!?
But to Jerrica's surprise, Lin gives her the earrings and tells her to
give them to Jem, hoping that they will make her feel better and that her luck
will change. Aw...what a selfless thing
to do!

Jerrica
agrees, and thanks Lin for her generosity with a hug. But as Jerrica puts the earrings on and proceeds to tell China
that Jem won't be there, she whines to Kimber about how if they were the real
JemStar earrings, she would put on the concert and thank Lin in person as Jem.

But
Jem is interrupted by Synergy's voice who openly asks Jerrica if she's on crack
why she can't do the concert. Jerrica
recognizes the voice and exclaims in excitement Synergy's name, and Synergy
transforms Jerrica back into Jem. She
also synthesizes some of the most stereotypical Chinese costumes for the
Holograms to wear, but what the hell...Jem and the Holograms are back, and
ready to perform.

The
Misfits on the other hand are pissed.
Roxy even exclaims that it was THEIR concert. But Jem and the Holograms ignore them and tell them to enjoy the
show the same way the Misfits did to them during their first concert.

And
with that, the first order of business is to send out a special dedication to
Lin in the audience, for helping Jem find the courage to go on stage. And, again, I reiterate that Jem could have
still done the show had she used her brain and pink hair dye, but did she
listen to me? No! Of course, the episode would have only been
four minutes long had she taken my advice.
Oh, let's just listen to Lin's song.

Okay,
so Chinese stereotyping aside, I have to admit "Love Unites Us" is
another solid Jem and the Holograms hit.
Actually, I think this might be the first episode where all the music is
fantastic. Okay, so "Something Is
Missing In My Life" was used weirdly.
It's still a good song!

After
the concert, Jem and the Holograms are signing autographs, and the Chinese
government tells them that they are welcome in the country whenever they like
even though they refuse to go through airport customs, steal artifacts from
museums and destroy ancient statues.
How nice!

Jem
spots Lin in the audience, and the way she is moving about, I think she has to
go to the bathroom at first. But Jem
keeps her promise and tells Lin that her gift brought her luck. She then hands Lin one of the pairs of
JemStar earrings that the Misfits had as a present and token of friendship
between the two of them, and the episode ends with Lin and Jem embracing. This episode really does have a sweet
ending...

...it's
too bad that it's also the episode in which everyone acts really stupid. This is easily one of my least favourite
episodes plot wise so far. Jerrica
showed tons of insecurity in this episode over a lost pair of earrings. I get that they are irreplaceable, but
still...there were ways around it.
Plus, some of the behaviour that Jem and the Holograms partook in while
running around China was - I hate to say it - very Misfit like. It almost kind of makes them look like
hypocrites when they bash the Misfits.
I bet that if it were Pizzazz stealing the earrings from the museum, Jem
would be like the Queen of Hearts in "Alice in Wonderland", ordering
her to be beheaded. Yet when Jem does
the same thing, she's given a slap on the wrist.

It just doesn't make sense!

Oh well. Next episode, Jem and the
Holograms vacation at a ski resort.
We'll see what happens then.