The Adventures of Super Pickle may sound like some kind of cutesy story that John Mayer would write about the wanderings of his warty dick, but it’s actually a pop-up book series about an amateur pickle superhero that Hallmark published in the 1970s. In the 1980s, Amtoy was apparently inspired by Super Pickle and friends, and made a line of plush toys, and some of those plush toys could be clipped onto your jeans or backpack or whatever. I never had a Super Pickle doll. There’s a part of me that wishes I could get into a time machine and travel back to the 80s, because I truly missed out on riding my bootleg Huffy bike down the street as my Super Pickle doll blew in the wing while clipped to my Miller’s Outpost jacket.

Amtoy made dolls of Super Pickle and all of his friends, like Playtime Burger, Ms. Ice Cream, Ms. Cupcake, Super Banana and on and on and on. And today, we pay tribute to Super Pickle’s girlfriend, Fickle Pickle (also called “Ms. Pickle” sometimes). Fickle Pickle (which is a G-rated way of saying “a flighty dick that can’t commit to one fuck part”) was a hobo-looking damsel who wore a deflated lace scrunchie as an arm band and was the dill beauty who gave Super Pickle’s pickle the leaks. Just like the other Super Pickle characters, she had giant sacks for feet, and she was also a fashion icon of her time. I don’t know if Punky Brewster stole her style or it was the other way around? (It wasn’t the other way around. Punky totally stole her style).

I thought of Super Pickle and friends this weekend, because Nerdapalooza (aka Comic-Con in San Diego) is happening in San Diego right now. And I’m wondering why Super Pickle and Fickle Pickle never made an appearance? Yeah, I don’t think the Comic-Con hos have a big enough budget to hire security to handle that size of a crowd.

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