Area 51 contains 'Hillary Clinton's legacy'

The CIA has officially acknowledged the existence of a Democratic focus group in the Nevada desert. Secret footage compiled by CNN and NBC, reveal how voters in 2016 will be wooed by Clinton's 'experience' as Secretary of State, her 'alien intelligence' and her capacity to deal with her husband's special 'moon probe'.

The Republican National Committee (RNC) has labelled these films as 'biased' and 'not at all' want Ronald Reagan intended when he deregulated 'the f**k' out of the media during the 80s. An RNC spokesman said: 'Such favouritism ignores the 'other worldliness' of Sarah Palin'.

Rumours that the Clintons crashed to earth in 1998 after colliding with an impeachment, were previously denied by the CIA. A cigar shaped capsule was seen to fall in the vicinity of Area 51. Since then commercial pilots have regularly reported seeing a 'Clinton-sized' ego floating above the desert.

The CIA released a prepared statement: 'We can confirm that Hilary is the only viable candidate for the Democratic Party but Republicans should be made aware that Rand Paul is an inter-stellar lizard from the planet Zulag. While the Kentucky Senator feeds on human organs, there are some down sides to him being nominated by the RNC'.