Back in late January, I unveiled TheBaker’s Draft Anthology. I promised, the rest of the rounds would follow within a week, two weeks max. Well, I lied. My bad. I entirely underestimated the vastness of this project.

What is TheBaker’s Draft Anthology?

It is a seven-part series detailing each and every round since 1995. This is a breakdown like nothing you’ve seen before and done by someone who has so much free time, he’s legally retired. TheBaker has distinguished which players he felt were the best three picks of each round and then has added some bonus material where needed.

Summary: As a little known rookie, Davis came out of nowhere to start 14 games for the Broncos and eclipsed 1,000 yards. He would go on to three straight Pro Bowl appearances and two Super Bowls. But after rushing for a career-high and league leading 2,008 yards and 21 touchdowns in 1998, injuries cut down Davis’ career. He played in just 16 games over the next three seasons before he was forced to call it a career. Schlesinger scored just 14 touchdowns in his 12-year career, but toting the rock was never in Schlesinger’s job description. At fullback, he was the battering ram for the Detroit Lions. And hey, for a sixth-rounder 12 years of NFL service – even if it is Detroit – should be celebrated. From 1996-2001, Hall was a fixture at defensive tackle for Atlanta. The BYU product recorded a career-high 10.5 sacks in 1997 and a year later helped the Falcons reach their first Super Bowl. In all, Hall finished his career with 42 sacks and 348 solo tackles before retiring after the 2005 season.

I Remember You Kicked Ass In College But Blew In The Pros:LB Brian Gelzheiser (Indianapolis), No. 187 – Penn State. A starter on the Nittany Lions 1994 undefeated team, Gelzheiser recorded 100 tackles in both his junior and senior seasons in Happy Valley and finished his career second in the school’s all-time tackling record book. He went into sales in the Pittsburgh area and occasionally drops by for some Penn State Tailgate action, not at all looking like a former stud athlete.

Summary: A starter in 141 of his 155 games, Rivera ranked as one of the league’s better guards during his career. A three-time Pro Bowler, he was an integral part of keeping Brett Favre clean. In 2002, he started every game despite playing with torn MCLs in both knees. That’ll do. After that, it’s slim picking. Roye started 128 games, most of them with Cleveland. We sandwiched his time as a Brown with stints in Pittsburgh and recorded 363 solo stops in his career. OK, so I’m giving this guy a vote for name recognition. But Anthony Dorsett Jr., did start 46 games in his eight-year career.

I Remember You Kicked Ass In College But Blew In The Pros:WR Chris Doering (Jacksonville), No. 185 – Florida. A former walk-on, Doering finished his career fourth in school history with 149 catches and eighth in yards with 2,107. Good stuff. And he came with this 1993 classic moment. “Doering’s got a touchdown!” Well, why Doering might have had a touchdown, he didn’t have much of an NFL career. Sure he kicked around until calling it quits in 2004 (even starting three games for Washington in 2002 catching passes from Gator limpwrists Danny Wuerffel and Shane Matthews again. Ah, deja vu.), but he caught just 42 passes in the pros. College equivalent: three games vs. Vanderbilt.

Awesome Baby Mama Drama Via Internet Message Boards:DE Kelvin Kinney (Washington), No. 174 – Virginia State. There are some moments where the Internet hits you like a reach-around from God. This is one of those moments. An innocuous Google search. Thank you.

Summary: First off, how can a guy so unwilling to detach his long locks, be so willing to slash off 80 percent of his first name? Alshinard Harris made a name for himself as Philadelphia’s active nickelback and turned that into 92 starts with Green Bay and back-to-back Pro Bowls (2007-08). The late ‘90s answer to William Perry, Jackson was just an immovable object for opposing offensive lines. Listed at a generous 345 pounds, Jackson started for Oakland, New Orleans, Atlanta and Green Bay leaving closed down buffets in his wake. A different type of defensive tackle, Jasper was half a person less than Jackson, but managed to be a disturbance on Atlanta’s line from 2000-04.

I Remember You Kicked Ass In College But Blew In The Pros:LB Canute Curtis (Cincinnati), No. 176 – West Virginia. Every year for the draft as a youth, I would print out info pages on prospects I thought the Bears should target. One of them was Canute Curtis. He was a terror for the Mountaineers and I thought I was looking at a poor man’s Lawrence Taylor. Turns out Curtis was more like LT’s cocaine dealer’s poor cousin. Luckily, Curtis landed on his feet and is an assistant at Tennessee State, the alma mater of a guy my friends and I play pickup football games with and he clowns the shit out of us:

“Yeah, I played with (Dominique) Rodgers-Cromartie…”
“Um, so why the heck are you messing around with eight Jews?”
“Make me look good.”

Summary: After serving as Brett Favre’s backup’s backup for two seasons, Hasselbeck found a home in Seattle with Mike Holmgren and has passed for more than 3,000 yards five times. A three-time Pro Bowler, Hasselbeck led the Seahawks to Super Bowl XL and got himself a soup commercial. The now-former Viking, Birk earned six Pro Bowl selections at center before moving on to Baltimore this offseason. Birk got a three-year, $12 million deal with the Ravens and it doesn’t take a Harvard degree in economics (which Birk has) to know that’s good business for a soon to be 33-year old center. If the seventh round was the round saved by offensive linemen, then the sixth round’s savior is fullback. We’ve already had Schlesinger, now we get Beasley. San Francisco’s sledgehammer for eight seasons, Beasley started 80 games and was named to the 2003 Pro Bowl.

I Had A Steve Young Moment…In The Arena League:QB John Dutton (Miami), No. 172 – Nevada. After San Jose SabreCats starter Mark Grieb went down midseason, Dutton came to the rescue and led the Cats to ArenaBowl XVI glory and was named the game’s Offensive Player of the Year. He won another title with Colorado in 2005 and landed on the cover of EA Sports’ AFL video game a year later. Star.

I’m A Special Teams Apostle:DB Scott McGarrahan (Green Bay), No. 156 – New Mexico. A gunner on punts and kickoffs, McGarrahan hoped to split the wedge like Moses parting the Red Sea. Talk about a come-to-Jesus moment. He finished his career with 61 tackles in 108 career games and he gave an assist on each one to his lord and savior.

Summary: Getting 94 starts in the middle of one of the most ferocious defenses in NFL history gets Gregg the nod. Oddly enough, he did it in near obscurity. Never selected to a Pro Bowl, Gregg made sure blockers didn’t get in Ray Lewis’ way, and I’m sure Ray has bought him a nice watch or two as a Thank You. After showing promise with Denver, Clark latched on with Chicago in 2003 and has been the Bears starter ever since. He’s caught at least 40 passes in each of the last three seasons and forms a nice 1-2 punch with former first rounder Greg Olsen at the tight end position for Chicago. He only started four games in his 123-game career, but Kriewaldt was a special teams omnipresent. He split his nine-year career with Detroit and Pittsburgh and finished with 97 stops in his career.

Thank You, Stanley Jackson:CB Andre Weathers (New York Giants), No. 205 – Michigan. Sure Weathers was All-Big Ten his senior year, but it was his 43-yard interception return (4:45 of the video) against Ohio State and Stanley Jackson that etched his name in history. It’s the game that won Charles Woodson the Heisman and the reason we know Andre Weathers. No word on whether he’s related to our favorite Weathers, Carl.

Great Name Award: DT Emarlos Leroy (Jacksonville), No. 182 – Georgia. Though Tom Coughlin traded up (…in the sixth round) to get him, Leroy never turned into the run-stuffer Coughlin envisioned. But his name is something of legends. Dare I say, it gives Licentious Beastie a run for its money.

Summary: Tom Brady is a douche. A super douche actually. But that doesn’t change the fact he’s destined for Canton. So how does a sometime starter at Michigan turn into the next Joe Montana? Simple. He is the next Joe Montana. A system quarterback nurtured by a coaching staff inclined to dump off and high percentage passes. I mean winning helps, but I’m not ready to give Brady all the credit for that. A dude who hadn’t started since high school didn’t look all that different, did he? Bulger never played for the Saints. Instead he put up gaudy numbers for St. Louis and made two Pro Bowls. He had his best season in 2006, throwing for 4,301 yards and 24 scores. Injuries and an awful offensive line has taken some of the shine off Bulger’s luster though. Most people felt Thomas would be pass rushing specialist in the league, I know I did. However, he fell to the sixth round. Baltimore snatched him up as a perfect replacement for Peter Boulware. Thomas put up 28 sacks from 2004-06 with the Ravens and made the Pro Bowl in 2006 with 11 sacks. He turned that into a cash grab and joined New England, meaning in turn, he’s now a douche.

I Was Abusing Dogs Way Before Michael Vick: RB Thomas Hamner (Philadelphia), No. 171 – Minnesota. After rushing for nearly 1,000 yards in his final season at Minnesota, Hamner found a home in Philadelphia and bought a little poochie for that home. Unfortunately, Fido and owner had a “domestic dispute.”

It Would Have Been Cooler Had I Been That Other Guy With My Name: DE Leif Larsen (Buffalo), No. 194 – UTEP. Described as “one of the most remarkable personalities of the entire Second World War,” Leif Larsen was the Norwegian leader of a secret communications link between Nazi-controlled Scandinavia and Great Britain. The football world’s Leif Larsen is a 6-foot-4, 295-lbs., Norwegian manchild by way of El Paso, Texas. He played 16 games in two seasons with Buffalo, including five starts in 2001. Word is, he tried out for the Vikings’ mascot gig.

Summary: Without a doubt, this is the worst round of any draft since 1995. I’ve looked at them all, and with a little time and patience, you all will get a chance to read about them. But the 2001 Sixth Round goes down as absolutely wretched. When a tight end with 14 touchdowns in eight years is the top player, you know it’s going to be a rough one. Martin, now with Miami, found his way into the end zone three times last year and was a tight end-desperate fantasy owner’s last resort. Wyms has started nine games in his 95-game career. But hey, he’s still playing. And for this epically abysmal round, that’s good enough. Cook makes his way in here as our third fullback of the Best of Sixth Round, and he’s an Illinois guy when I was an Illini fan.

I Remember You Kicked Ass In College But Blew In The Pros:QB Josh Heupel (Miami), No. 177 – Oklahoma. The 2000 Heisman Trophy runner-up, Heupel led Oklahoma to an undefeated season and national championship culminated by an Orange Bowl victory over Florida State. A fourth-stringer with the Dolphins during preseason, Heupel retired and joined the Oklahoma coaching staff, where he now serves as the school’s quarterbacks coach.

I Have A Five For Fighting “Superman” Video Montage In My Honor, Whaddup:WR Bobby Newcombe (Arizona), No. 166 – Nebraska. I don’t think there’s any doubting the fact that Nebraska fans love their team. But this is a little much. I understand choosing the song based on title alone (“Superman”), but come on.

I Sold My Super Bowl Ring On eBay for $32,600:CB Leonard Myers – New England, No. 200 (Miami). First M.C. Hammer and Ed McMahon as a spokesman. What’s next? Cash-4-Gold should give Myers a call. This seldom-used defensive back cashed in on his unearned Super Bowl ring. Chances are the money’s gone, Leonard is broke and the ring is sitting in some rich guy’s home office encased on his desk as a reminder of all his hard work.

Summary: Despite starting just 32 of his 107 career games in the NFL, Taylor has rushed for an impressive 4,058 yards. After proving himself as a viable option in Baltimore, Minnesota signed him to be its starter – only the Vikings drafted Adrian Peterson a year later. Hartwig started 79 of 83 career games, splitting time with Tennessee and Carolina before winning a Super Bowl last year as the Steelers’ starting center. The Original Adrian Peterson was a Division I-AA stud at Georgia Southern, but hasn’t come near to that success in the pros. That doesn’t mean he isn’t a solid NFL player. He’s been a special teams staple and when his number has been called, he’s averaged 4.1 yards a carry.

Watch Your Stuff Through Airport Security:RB Larry Ned (Oakland), No. 197 – San Diego State. The former Aztecs stud played in just 19 games in the NFL, all with Minnesota, hauling in one catch for nine years. He signed with Arizona in 2005, but was promptly released after he snatched a fellow traveler’s laptop at airport security. What in the name of Tatum Bell?

How The Hell Did He Get Drafted:QB Steve Bellisari (St. Louis), No. 205 – Ohio State. A special teams contributor and reserve defensive back his freshman season, Bellisari won the starting quarterback job in Columbus as a sophomore. Most Buckeyes fans hate him because he was a lousy quarterback. St. Louis drafted him and tried to make him a defensive back because they know he couldn’t be an NFL quarterback. They were right. Turns out, he’s more of an AFL quarterback.

Summary: A Pro Bowler in 1995, June won a Super Bowl with the Colts and started 45 games for Indianapolis but bolted for Tampa Bay. He spent two years as a starter with the Bucs, before signing with the Texans this month. He has 351 career solo tackles, but just one sack interesting enough. A “Slash”-type in college, Battle has turned into a more than capable wide receiver in the league. He caught at least 50 passes and surpassed 600 yards in 2006 and 2007, but injuries cost him much of last season. A solid No. 2 receiver. If Arizona doesn’t win the NFC, I have no idea who this guy is. But Wells has started every game at guard for the Cardinals each of the last three seasons. It ain’t flashy, but for a sixth rounder, that’s pretty damn good.

I Remember You Kicked Ass In College But Blew In The Pros:QB Kliff Kingsbury (New England), No. 201 – Texas Tech. I mean this was really a surprise to no one. A product of the Texas Tech spread, Kingsbury’s numbers in college were gaudy (12,429 yards and 95 touchdowns). Just one of four players in college football history to throw for more than 3,000 yards three times, Kingsbury didn’t have the requisite arm strength for the pros. He bounced around with stints in New England, New Orleans, Denver, the New York Jets and Buffalo, but completed just one pass, a memorable 17-yard gain to Dante Ridgeway in 2005 for the Jets.

The Only Reason You Know My Name Is Because You Know I Suck: QB Brooks Bollinger (New York Jets), No. 200 – Wisconsin. Come on, seriously. You all laughed a little when you watched the Cowboys-Giants game this year, Tony Romo was hurt and you thought no one could be worse than a washed up version of a washed up Brad Johnson. Then this guy comes off the sidelines and throws a 7-yard duck that was so underthrown, the trailing defender had to scoop it off the turf. An underthrown 7-yarder. Don’t believe me? Watch. To his credit, Bollinger has been in the league for five seasons (two seasons with the Jets and Vikings each before joining Dallas this year). He’s even started 10 games (2-8 record, surprise!).

Summary: It took Williams three years to get a start, but once he did he became a pass-rushing force from the defensive tackle position. He recorded seven sacks for the Packers in 2006 and 2007 before being traded to Cleveland. He started every game for the Browns last year, but produced a disappointing 0.5-sack season. Still, take a look at the rest of these clowns and you’ll know why he’s at the top of 2004’s sixth round. Up next is Lee. I know, a punter? Hey, he made the Pro Bowl in 2007 and he had the league’s longest punt in 2004 and 2008 (81 and 82 yards, respectively). As Peyton Manning’s backup for the last five seasons, Sorgi is the NFL’s version of welfare. He gets paid for not working. He’s also the NFL’s human victory cigar. If he’s in the game, the Colts are up by three touchdowns. But in his mop-up duty he does have a 89.9 career passer rating in 156 passing attempts.

I Remember You Kicked Ass In College But Blew In The Pros: QB Josh Harris (Baltimore), No. 187 – Bowling Green. An Honorable Mention All-American, Harris led Bowling Green to consecutive seasons in the Top 25. A dual-threat quarterback, he finished his career as the school’s all-time leader in rushing touchdowns and second in passing yards and aerial scores. He never threw a pass in the NFL and is now in sales in Westerville, Ohio.

A Dude Who Is Aptly Named:QB Jeff Smoker (St. Louis), No. 201 – Michigan State. He finished his career as Michigan State’s leader in passing yards, touchdowns, most 200-yard passing games, completions, bong rips and coke binges. Because of his off-the-field issues, Smoker fell to the sixth round. He bounced around as practice squad material before going the way of the AFL and football extinction.

Summary: A starter in Chicago as a rookie, Harris was a ferocious hitter for the Bears, but the now genius Jerry Angelo traded the young, promising safety to Carolina for peanuts. (By the way, the Bears are still looking for a safety). Harris has been a hard-hitting force for the Panthers since his arrival and is one of the more feared hitters in the league. He’s fighting for his job now with Brady Quinn, but Anderson burst onto the scene with a Pro Bowl season in 2007, throwing for 3,787 yards and 29 touchdowns. Last season, injuries and Braylon Edwards caused him to fall back to earth. But he still showed he’s got talent, enough at least to battle a top draft pick and potential golden boy (pictured right). If you start 16 games for a Super Bowl champion as a sixth rounder, I’ll give it to you. Kemoeatu held down the left guard position for the Steelers this year, his first full season as the starter. And hey, he even recovered two fumbles.

I Remember You Kicked Ass In College But Blew In The Pros: WR Craig Bragg (Green Bay), No. 195 – UCLA. The Bruins record holder for career receptions, Bragg also ranked second in school history in receiving yards and punt returns. What’s that get you? Barely a preseason with the Green Bay Packers. Score!

Summary: From a sixth rounder from Howard to a starter on a Super Bowl champion as a rookie, Bethea certainly is an example of Bill Polian’s genius. In his second year, Bethea was named to the Pro Bowl. He followed that up with a career-high 74 tackles last season and at 24-years old, is one of the finer young defensive backs in the league. Despite pronouncing his name totally different than it reads (Koch – Cook), the dude can kick the ball. He has a career average of 43.8 yards a punt, and had a career-best clip of 45 yards a punt last season. Grasping at straws here. Ellison went from a some-time starter to a full-time starter this past season and finished the season with a pretty low 47 tackles for someone who started 14 games. Oh well, that’s still better than any of these other stiffs.

I Remember You Kicked Ass In College But Blew In The Pros: RB Wali Lundy (Houston), No. 170 – Virginia. The ACC’s all-time leader in rushing touchdowns with 52, Lundy finished his Cavaliers’ career with 4,497 all-purpose yards. He started the first game of his rookie season after Domanick Davis’s injury cleared the way. Lundy started eight games and finished the season with 476 yards. He was released before the 2007 season and never heard from again.

Some Dude Put Me In a Custom Cover for NCAA 2009 And It Actually Looks Bad Ass: FB Lawrence Vickers – Colorado, No. 180 (Cleveland). Vickers has started 23 games in three seasons for the Browns in their “Let’s pray for three yards a carry approach.” Before Cleveland, he was a battering ram for Colorado, and I guess good enough to warrant some fan to make a custom NCAA 2009 XBox 360 cover.

Summary: We’ll call this the round of the kicker. Both Crosby and Folk are strong-legged accurate kickers on high-powered offenses. That means these guys put up points. Meaning, I know who they are because of fantasy football and the awful rule that kickers count (pure luck). Crosby hit 79.5 percent of his field goals his rookie year (31-of-39) and 79.4 percent last season (27-of-34). Fairly

consistent. A small school product, Ford played in 14 games for the Titans this season including three starts. He finished the season with seven sacks, second best on the team behind Albert Haynesworth.

Honorable Mention: FB Deon Anderson – Dallas, No. 195 (Connecticut).

Hornblower Blades: LB H.B. Blades – Pittsburgh, No. 179 (Washington). Blades’ dad is former Pro Bowler Bennie Blades. A College Football Hall of Fame inductee, pops was the lead with “Bennie and the Jets,” at Miami, and was the third overall pick in 1988. That’s Horatio Benedict Blades Sr. Or Bennie. His son, Horatio Benedict Jr., went with H.B. Both when accompanied with Blades, are badass names. They sound like fearsome names of defenders. Horatio Benedict Blades sounds like an outdated British seaman. H.B., the Big East Defensive Player of the Year in 2006, started five games last season for the Redskins and finished the season with 32 solo tackles.

Potentially Harming Photographs Gone Mild: OL Kasey Studdard – Texas, No. 183 (Houston). A two-year starter and team captain, Studdard helped lead the Longhorns to a national championship. While in Austin, Studdard, like all college males, enjoyed alcohol and the company of young women. That leads us to the ultimate question: Is big sexy Kasey Studdard a total wildman, and can the ladies handle this?

Summary: I mean it’s really too early to tell on these guys, but Morgan was a preseason darling who had his moments in his rookie campaign (20 catches, 319 yards and three scores). Larsen made headlines when he became the first Denver player to start the same game on both offense and defense (a feat he accomplished Week 11 against Atlanta when he started both fullback and middle linebacker). Brennan had his critics after Hawaii got steamrolled by Georgia in the Sugar Bowl. His poor showing at the Senior Bowl didn’t help either. But he flourished in the preseason and had some Redskins thinking Colt when the ‘Skins began to slip at the end of last year. His official Web site and terribly outdated blog make up for his complete lack of PT.

At Least He Wasn’t Running With The Scissors: LB Geno Hayes – Florida State, No. 175 (Tampa Bay). Hayes and his 19-year old boo got in a heated argument. Naturally she grabbed for the closest sharp object (scissors) to stab her meal ticket boyfriend in the head. Oh, wait the scissors are gone. Let me get that knife there, too. That’s what happens when you provoke Football Jesus.