Saturday, 19 September 2009

The X Factor 2009 Auditions Episode 5 aired on Saturday the 19th of September 2009 and covered London and Birmingham auditions. It had the usual mix of amazing X Factor 2009 talent and funny X Factor auditions. Unbelievably this was the 100th episode of the X Factor so perhaps that's why its a double bill with the 2nd episode airing on Sunday the 20th of September 2009. There will of course be another post covering the X Factor 2009 Auditions Episode 6. This will be the last of the auditions before we move on to the X Factor boot camp . The 100th episode of the X Factor wasn't the best I've seen but here's the breakdown.

First up was Richard Green, 30 years old and a security guard from Watford. Richard Green went off on one of those tangents talking about how he wants to spread peace and harmony through the medium of his music. He's not going to do it with his singing. Richard Green was also another one who thought it was a good idea to do some sort of weird dancing which just ended up leaving the X factor in stitches. It's a pity Richard Green skipped work to come and inflict his version of Word Up by Cameo on us. Simon Cowell gave him a praise sandwich by saying he's a nice guy, telling he should stop singing, then going on about much of a nice guy he seems. Louis Walsh did say he enjoyed it for all the wrong reasons. The strangest thing for me about Richard Green was his crazy eyes he seemed to be having trouble focusing so would open his eyes really wide right at the camera. He also seemed to be hyperventilating after his audition.

Maggie Abboud was a 43 year old who worked at Heathrow airport as ground staff. Maggie Abboud started off by telling Simon Cowell that she loves him then launched into her own version of A Child is Born. I'm just hoping no children heard Maggie Abboud singing. Unsurprisingly she got four 'no's.

Maurice Siegel was a 76 year old retired telesales worker who claimed to have over 500 female fans in Southend. Maurice Siegel turned up in a bright fuschia and teal ruffle shiny suit. It was quite awful how pink it looked. Anyway Maurice Seigel sang Delialah by Tom Jones and the strangest thing was how he getting wagging his tongue out of mouth scaring Dannii Minogue. Scared me too. Four no's. Why don't we get a group in this called Four No's and save us a lot of time?

Chelsey Fletcher was hilariously bad. She was going on the usual rubbish about wanting to be famous and have a platinum album etc. Chelsey Fletcher was a 16 year old student who sang....I don't even know what she sang it was so bad. Ethan Boroian save us from this rubbish! He was a 19 year old student who lives in Surrey but he's originally from Chicago in the U.S. Ethan Boroian is a good looking guy which got him off to a good start before he opened his mouth. Ethan Boroian sang Use Somebody by the Kings of Leon and seemed to have a great stage presence. The crowd loved him. I thought his voice was a bit out of control at times but I'm sure Simon Cowell will pay for that to be fixed. Anyway, everyone loved him with Cheryl Cole saying he seemed really humble and sweet. Dannii Minogue said Ethan Boroian was a little superstar and that she needed another slice of that...Ethan I mean?

Now for the X Factor Auditions in Birmingham! It was Cheryl Cole's birthday so Simon gave her a cake. Husband Ashley Cole was there too first time we've seen him on screen this year. They showed her presents including another cake in the shape of a small white dog which I guess must be Cheryl's? Back to the X Factor Auditions! Faye Bray! Almost as good a name as Shanna Goodhead we saw on the X Factor 2009 Auditions episode 4

Faye Bray came out in some lingerie no doubt inspired by the Pussycat Dolls. Faye obviously likes the fake tan as she was a nice shade of mahogany. She said one of her ambitions was to be on the front cover of Heat magazine and talked about how she would never complain about being chased by the 'paps'. If she wins she would use her fame for the power of good and work for the NSPCC or to help donkeys. This is after the Heat magazine spread. Sorry kids you'll have to wait for the help. So will the donkeys. I know what you're thinking, she's going to be rubbish right? After all this hillarious build up it's going to be another funny X Factor audition. Well, not entirely. After Simon Cowell had some fun with her being a prison lecturer in a mens prison then asking Faye Bray if she dresses like that in the prison she sang River Deep Mountain High by Tina Turner and she wasn't too bad. She got through to the X Factor 2009 Boot Camp. Faye Bray also stated that she never had any absentees from her class in the prison...I wonder why. Simon put her through since she's interesting. I forgot to mention she wants world peace through her music. I'm looking forward to seeing Faye Bray in the boot camp episodes just to hear what she has to say next. Dermot O'Leary looked like he was struggling to keep his eyes above her boobs which were being squished up to her chin in the corset thing she was wearing.

Treyc Cohen was next. What a silly name. Treyc Cohen was a call centre worker aged 25 who wowed the audience and all four X Factor judges with her version of I'm Every Woman by Whitney Houston. Treyc Cohen had a really soulful voice and Cheryl Cole stated that this was the best audition of the day. Treyc Cohen also had 14 siblings so there was a funny little cut scene of her phoning all her family to let them know she had gone through to the X Factor 2009 boot camp. Karl Lewis, unemployed and 25 was up next. He sang Aerosmiths I don't wanna miss a thing and got through to boot camp. His Nan was back stage so Simon shouted her to come out on stage and she got a great round of applause. Harmony Hood were a group of 2 boys and 2 girls ages ranging from 18-23. Personally I thought Harmony Hood were crap! I guess it shows how poor the groups are this year that this bunch got through. They came out wearing cheesy 'How Hood Are You' t shirts. Terrible. They sang Kanye West's Love Lockdown acappella style and it was average at best. They got four yes's and Harmony Hood slide in to the X Factor 2009 Boot Camp.

Back to some cake fun, Simon messed up Cheryl's dog cake and made it look like a seal...

Natricia Thompson murdered Whitney Houston's Dance With Somebody. We were treated to one of those opening sequences with Natricia Thompson talking about herself being the total package to be a global superstar. She had the looks and the talent etc. She had neither. She came on stage talking about how she'd like to sell out shows in Britain, America, Japan and China. After Natricia Thompson's awful audition Simon told her she wouldn't sell out anything. The crowd had a great time laughing at her however so maybe people would pay to see her in a comedy club. Gianni Rocchetta was a 42 year old interpreter with a terrible haircut. It might have been a wig. Gianni Rocchetta claimed to feel the music all the way through his body that's what made him so different. He sang a version of Madonna's Vogue through his nose and topped that off with some terrible dancing. Jackson Ssentamu was equally as bad. Jackson Ssentamu sang Billie Jean by Michael Jackson (RIP) and claimed that he'd be a pop prince in a few years time. No chance, four no votes and off Jackson Ssentamu goes. Simone Lucioli provided some entertainment for the girls by taking off his shirt. This Italian model, 29, took Cheryl's hint about the heat and took off his top showing off his 6 pack. Dannii seemed to be impressed too. He sang a Crazy Little Thing Called Love by Queen but wasn't very good. Cheryl actually said Simone Lucioli was like a Chippendale singing karaoke.

Eileen Chapman an 80 year old retired receptionist has been singing for over 70 years way back in the air raid shelters of World War 2. Eileen Chapman was dressed all in white with something that looked like a dead animal draped over her shoulders. Her dream is to make a record and boogie to it. Eileen Chapman told Simon Cowell that she thought he was hunky and wanted to make him her 'Joy Boy'. She came over before the start of the audition to hug and kiss Simon. Eileen Chapman sang The Wonder of You by Elvis Presley in a really old fashioned warbly style. I thought it was pretty terrible. Eileen Chapman split the judges so Simon told her to come back tomorrow with some new music to try again. Simon Cowell also pointed out how Dannii Minogue had the same hair cut as Eileen Chapman which was funny if only to see Dannii's horrified face.

Kandy Rain were another terrible group. Seriously this year the groups have been awful and it just seems like they're putting any rubbish through. Kandy Rain were 4 girls of all shapes and sizes aged 21-25. They were like a bad Pussycat Dolls tribute act. They were dressed really provocatively for Simon and Louis apparently and sang Don't Cha Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me. Crap. Indie Okoye a 19 year old student sang Summertime and the Livin is Easy by Billie Holiday. Indie Okoye had a nice soulful voice and got through to boot camp then burst in to tears. Stacey McClean was another young girl who loves her fake tan. She was a fantastic shade of orange so do not adjust your TV sets folks. Stacey McClean is 20 and from Blackpool and is an Office Worker (she makes the tea). She sang Christina Aguilera's Aint No Other and was pretty average but Stacey McClean got through to the X Factor boot camp.

Dominic Harris turned up in his nice Lyle & Scott sweater like a little golfer. Aww. X Factor fanatics might remember Dominic Harris from the 2007 series. I'll be honest, I didn't. He's now 17 and much more confident and sang Chris Brown's With You. Cheryl said his swagger isn't quite there but the voice is. Simon said Dominic Harris voice wasn't incredible but good enough to go through to boot camp. Nicole Lawrence was a big girl who works as a care worker and has done the club thing for years working with her dad before he died just before Christmas. Nicole Lawrence started singing Another Little Piece of My Heart by Dusty Springfield but Simon stopped her as she seemed to be over singing it a bit. She then sang Alicia Keyes If I Aint Got You and sang it with more conviction and emotion. Simon gave Nicole Lawrence a no but the other three muppets gave her a yes so through she goes. She was pretty average. Simon said she's picked up a lot of bad habits.

Last but not least were It Takez 2. Notice the 'z' in takes to prove they're down with the kids. Anyway, It Takez 2 are Russel and Katie (30 and 25) who are a couple and met while they were working at Pontins as entertainers. To be honest they looked like characters from Little Britain. They've worked at all the main arenas in the UK including the before mentioned Pontins, Gala Bingo and now Alton Towers where Russel operates a ride and Katie drives the trains. Wow. They've been together 4 years and sing together at the weekends. It Takez 2 sang the classic Jackson's song I'll Be There with most of the judges saying they preferred Katie's voice to Russel. Simon said there wasn't much difference. They got through with Russel crying his eyes out because he felt he'd let Katie down. Stop blubbering you got through. Hugs all round blah blah this ends a pretty average episode of the X Factor 2009 Auditions. I hope tomorrow's is better or I'm going to start watching Strictly Come Dancing.

On tonight's episode both Cherly Cole and Dannii Minogue had several outfit changes that left them looking stylish as always. Cherly Cole's dress for most of tonight's episode was a white sleeveless A-line dress with a layer of lace detailing over the top of it. Cherly Cole's birthday outfit consisted of a jewel tone purple collared shirt with puffed short sleeves. This was tucked into an orange bubble skirt with purple sequins on the pockets and black heels. Later in the show Cherly changed into a royal blue scoop neck classic dress. Cheryl Cole's most memorable dress was a multicolored bodycon style dress. Dannii Minogue had some funky dresses and outfits in tonight's episode. She started the episode wearing a royal blue and periwinkle one shouldered strapped dress with folded details and a thin gold necklace. Another notable look was a white halter flowy top with a big bow detail around the collar. This outfit was paired with a black mini skirt and black strappy heels. Dannii Minogue's dress from last week the magenta halter also featured.

7 comments:

Well, here I am! This is GIANNI ROCCHETTA, the guy with a terrible haircut! But, no, it was NOT a wig!! And yes, my performance WAS bad. NO problem admitting that!! And you know why?! Because I am actually a classically trained tenor and can sing, so I have NO problem admitting it when I have a bad day! Besides I had arrived the previous day from Italy (where I now live), was exhausted and had waited something like 8 hours before singing!! Also, to sing VOGUE was a bad idea. It was the WRONG choice. I know this because when I sang Stephen Sondheim's BEING ALIVE at the first three rounds, well, the producers auditioning me were impressed by my singing and I KNOW I sang well and in tune.As for my dancing, well, no, I'm sorry, it was NOT terrible. That is only the opinion of the pwrson who wrote the article above! Indeed, when I dance in discos etc so many people tell me I move and dance really well!And there's NO need to say certain things with such contempt.I am the FIRST to ADMIT I sang badly in London but I am also someone who shows respect and does NOT believe in being CONTEMPTUOUS with people and when judging them. Let me also tell you that I have been an artist model for 15 years and my body is considered very beautiful by so many painters and sculptors in London, New York and Florence.And you can hear my version of VOGUE and other songs on WWW.MYSPACE.COM/ROQUEVA. You will hear that I CAN sing!!!I really do NOT know what happened that day in London!!!

Well, here I am! This is GIANNI ROCCHETTA, the guy with a terrible haircut! But, no, it was NOT a wig!! And yes, my performance WAS bad. NO problem admitting that!! And you know why?! Because I am actually a classically trained tenor and can sing, so I have NO problem admitting it when I have a bad day! Besides I had arrived the previous day from Italy (where I now live), was exhausted and had waited something like 8 hours before singing!! Also, to sing VOGUE was a bad idea. It was the WRONG choice. I know this because when I sang Stephen Sondheim's BEING ALIVE at the first three rounds, well, the producers auditioning me were impressed by my singing and I KNOW I sang well and in tune.As for my dancing, well, no, I'm sorry, it was NOT terrible. That is only the opinion of the pwrson who wrote the article above! Indeed, when I dance in discos etc so many people tell me I move and dance really well!And there's NO need to say certain things with such contempt.I am the FIRST to ADMIT I sang badly in London but I am also someone who shows respect and does NOT believe in being CONTEMPTUOUS with people and when judging them. Let me also tell you that I have been an artist model for 15 years and my body is considered very beautiful by so many painters and sculptors in London, New York and Florence.And you can hear my version of VOGUE and other songs on WWW.MYSPACE.COM/ROQUEVA. You will hear that I CAN sing!!!I really do NOT know what happened that day in London!!!

And you can hear me sing immediately after the audition, backstage, in order to prove that I have a voice! I sang CON TE PARTIRò, and you can see and hear that on xfactor.itv.com Look for auditions 5 episodesMine is called THE OPERA FACTORYou will see and hear that I DO have a voice!!!!!!!!!!Singing is EVERYTHING, and when I perform so many people tell me I have a wonderful voice and sing with so much passion and heart.I am NOT deluding myself. I KNOW I have a voice. That day in London things went wrong, and that can happen, you know?!

Oh, I feel so sorry for you, because the version on Myspace is all in tune and I get up to a HIGH C sharp, and if that is your opinion of my singing, well, that shows me you know NOTHING about singing and voice! Maybe you can be a bit humble and listen to other songs on my profile (L'IMMENSITà for example) and you'll hear I DO have a voice and CAN sing.Also, can you read??!! Wasn't I the FIRST one to ADMIT here that my performance was not good at the audition?? Also, the dancing: well, that's a matter of opinion.Besides, I wonder why a lot of people from the UK requested me as a friend on Facebook. So you see, it's always a matter of opinion. Anyway, look, I trained as an opera singer, I know I have a voice and I do NOT need to defend myself. And I repeat, I was the FIRST one to admit I did NOT sing well at the audition, so what's the problem??!! But I KNOW I can sing and if you cannot hear that on Myspace, well, that is YOUR problem. So many people like my voice and have told me I have a beautiful voice.And you must know that we are CATTLE when we audition for THE X FACTOR and I had to sing after a TWELVE-hour wait!!!! You know, that's slightly tiring!!!Anyway, you are obviously entitled to your opinion but I know now that the X FACTOR machine is an infernal machine and it's all about money and the ratings. Indeed, they keep choosing people who scream and who have so little personality! It's all megacommercial. And also remember something that many artists who have NOT made it would tell you if they were in front of you: the fact that some people do NOT make it in the business does NOT mean they are NOT good. So many of the people who make it cannot sing etc and yet they are up there!Ciao Ciao!!