Tears

Needless to say, Tuesday and Thursday mornings are fast becoming my least favourite times of the week. I wake up anxious and I know that in turn, that probably makes him anxious, but I'm not a robot and I can't switch off my emotions. It's something we will just have to get through together.

First let me state this...by being happier that does not mean I don't miss my children, as I do. It also does not mean I am glad to have gone through loss, as I am not. I wish with my whole heart they were now with me and I would gladly hand back the lifelong journey of grief.

Today's post follows an interesting interview I had on the radio. The interviewer, through no fault of his own, clearly had no understanding of baby loss. He sadly resorted to many clichéd lines, which are regularly handed out to those who are unfortunate enough to know first-hand the sad reality of losing a much wanted child.

When babies are born we hope they come out crying so we know they are OK. However, somewhere along the line, tears stop showing the world we are healthy and that we are fine. Instead, the tears seem to start telling people that we are emotionally unstable and suggest that we aren't coping.

We wish we had ticked the other box, the box that stated 'yes' we would have our baby back. However, like many parents, we were given minutes to decide, before I was rushed down to theatre. In those few minutes we sat traumatised. We were in shock...

Experts who carried out the study found overall, some of these phrases have a much greater impact on women than they do on men, with around 18 per cent more affected than men by what others say to them in times of need.