(Closed) I feel "icky" about the wedding finances

We have cut every corner imaginable, we have a friend making our cake, borrowing a nice car from another friend for the day, a friend is singing for entertainment, another is DJing, my mother is paying for my veil. sisters are paying for our first night in a hotel and we are having a local wedding (no long distance travel for 99% of our guests). We made our invites and will be doing a “booze cruse” to get our alcohol but…. and here’s the but

Here I am nearly 2 months out and looking at all our final payments and it’s become clear that we will still be short just under £3k on the big day. We have the resources to tap into, so we won’t need to ask anyone for the money (We have a credit card and an overdraft availible) and by my calculations if we carry on paying it off at the same rate we’ve been putting into every month we’ll have paid off our wedding in 3 months, post wedding day.

We’ve tried SO hard to save knowing we didn’t have the fortuate circumstances of our parents being able to help us out but we said yes to the venue early on in the planning stage and what looked like a great deal seemed to end up having a lot of hidden extras that only came to light as things went on- things such as the cost NOT including VAT, being able to have your own drink BUT there was a massive £700 corkage and not being able to source your own decoration (having to use their own suppliers) and it’s just racked up.

I’m still in love with the venue and don’t feel regret about that but I really didn’t want to start married life with this debt. I know we can clear it quickly and it’s not like we’ll still be paying it off even in 6 months time but I just feel really icky about it and ASHAMED that it’s come to this.

My Fiance think’s I’m being too hard on myself (ourselves) about it but I can’t shake this feeling of disappointment off me. Should I be ashamed?

What’s done is done. It’s too late to change venue or anything really, right? I wouldn’t beat yourself up over it.

I guess the smart thing would have been to just elope, but if a wedding was a priority for you, who am I to tell you how to spend your money?

Yeah you probably should have saved up all the money beforehand, but there’s no need to be ashamed. Cut out as much as you can in the few months following the wedding so you get that credit card paid down. You won’t start your married life in debt if you’re smart about it. If you say ‘oh screw it’ and start spending like crazy and throw caution to the wind, that would be stupid. Just make sure you pay the card down. You never know what might happen… you might have to get a new roof or travel somewhere for a funeral, or something. Life is expensive. Just work out a payment schedule and stick to it before life starts adding up and unforeseen expenses arise (you should have emergency fund and savings to mitigate those types of things, though).

Don’t feel ashamed! We ended up doing the same thing. We had a budget of our money and money promised to us by my father. Well, my father ended up getting laid off after all the contracts were signed and I just couldn’t bring myself to let him give us the amount he promised (we only took about half). We ended up putting about $3.5K on a credit card. After the wedding, I transfered it with a 0% interest balance transfer offer to another card and it was paid off very quickly. Shit happens! Don’t beat yourself up. As long as you have a plan to pay it off, it’s not the end of the world.

Well, i think you have a very healthy mental attitude towards money!!!I think you are exagerating just a little..i mean about feeling bad for being in debt for 3 months after the wedding. I have still to pay the final amount to the photographer – he hasn’t delievered the DVD with the pro pic or our album..GRRRRRR

throughthebarricades & mypinkshoesSo late in the day I’m committed to all the contracts unfortuately. The trouble is we had someone staying with us and paying us rent but then they had to move out for personal reasons so the 3 months that would have covered her staying is the missing gap of funds.

We’ve had to take a hit for a few other things along the way and these things have also meant we’ve been left with less than we thought. Out guest list has been trimmed to 80 people, any less than that and I start taking out immediate family for both of us!

misspeanut and Rivendeler Glad I’m not the only one feeling this way, and actually Rivendeler you’ve made me think about things a bit differently, at least I won’t owe any of the vendors money. I can privately pay this back without getting into a sticky situation with them, which is a blessing really.

I totally understand where you are coming from. I set a strict budget and said i would not go over it… no patter what and 9 months from the wedding it looks like we have busted it by 3k as well! At first i was really upset with myself, but we are going through a 2 year plan to minimalize our debt occured (for the wedding, and our own personal debt that we will be joining together) and working towards elliminating that in the future.

If you have done absolutely everything you can to cut costs then you have done your best and should be proud of that!

Do not feel ashamed. It’s you and Fiance special day so if you want to splurge a little bit I see absolutely nothing wrong with that and if you are committed to paying it off in 3 months, in my opinion there is nothing wrong with that either. Some people go into much much more debt for their weddings. The fact that you already have an issue with the little debt you will incur speaks volumes of your financial wisdom. Best wishes to you and stop being so hard on yourself.

ETA: A lot of bees report receiving cash from guests as wedding presents. Maybe if you get this gift too then you can put it towards paying down your wedding debt. Just a thought…

Girl! I know how you feel! We are about the same amount short for our big day in late october. and dont have money for our honey moon. Yikes. Makes my stomach sick thinking about finances. But think about it, you are only using 3 grand and 3 months to pay off such an amazing wedding. you have the rest of you lives to enjoy the memories of this special day that will only happen once. Dont cut corners on photography, thats my best advice. And enjoy yourself, dont beat yourself up over it. Many people go to extremes and get 20 grand or more in debt. This is close to rediciulus. You sound like you have been so reasonable so far and you have done an amazing job at cutting corners. Give yourself a pat on the back for pulling that off in this day and age! And move on to happiness and exictement of your fun day to come!!

Thanks you guys I actually feel better “sharing” this with someone and even though I’m going through this, my heart goes out to anyone in the same situation. I don’t think it’s any brides dream to get into debt and even more so when it wasn’t debt they thought they would be hit with.

RoyalPurpleBride I hope you get the chance to sort a few things out before the big day, I know you mean about feeling sick, every time I open the budget spreadsheet my stomach drops a little!

Happy Hopeful Bee “The fact that you already have an issue with the little debt you will incur speaks volumes of your financial wisdom. Best wishes to you and stop being so hard on yourself.”

What a lovely thing to say, thank you, I needed to hear something like that right now.

vintagefairGood luck with your budget going forward, get crafty and don’t be ashamed to call in some favours, our friends and family have been more than happy to help out and felt proud to be asked.

Honestly, things happen. Don’t beat yourself up too much. You are giiving yourself 3 motnhs to pay off $3000..that is a good plan and if you do it, might help your credit. What is done is done…just move on and try to enjoy your big day.

With that said, I am praying I won’t come up short. I am still saving and sticking to my budget so the way things are going, I am thinking it will be fine (barring any emergencies).

You might also consider that you’ll get some cash gifts for the wedding too! Maybe not a ton since a lot of people are helping you out as their gift but still, you’ll have some extra to pay down the card, right?