Will Young enters chart at 34

Will Young, the slightly effeminate winner of ITV's Pop Idol, has only managed to enter the chart at a lowly position 34. The singer, aged only 12 years old, released the double A-side record Evergreen/Anything Is Possible on Monday, but since only sold 131 records.

"It's shocking news," said Pete Waterman, a fan of Young from the television programme. "I thought he'd do much, much better. In fact I promised him as much, in the understanding that in return he'd let me touch him."

Young is said to be devastated at the result. However, Dr. Fox had this to say:

"Will's a great guy and in truth we're all jealous of his good looks, great voice, and standout lisp. But at the end of the day, I liked that girl better, what's her name?...you know, the young one with the hair."

"I think the saddest thing is that with only 131 sales he still managed to get to 34 in the chart. But then, that's the chart they play on Radio 1 - not the Pepsi chart which is infinitely better."

Young, who is releasing his next song "Only one step away from wet" next week, is set to be the next big thing since that chap from 911.

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