Seattle Police Counter Colbert Cannabis Criticism

SEATTLE, WA — Funny man Stephen Colbert last week criticized the Seattle Police Department for a cannabis education campaign involving free Doritos at Seattle Hempfest. Police had warned attendees to not drive stoned, but welcomed them to listen to Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon at a reasonable volume.

“What? Police should not be encouraging drug use,” Colbert fumed. “And you can not listen to Dark Side of the Moon at a reasonable volume. You’ll miss all the depth when the song ‘Money’ switches from 7/4 to 4/4 and Gilmour lays down a sick solo based on the pentatonic scale—is what I’m told by one of my editors.”

And regarding Dark Side of the Moon, says SPD, “We were simply drawing Hempfest attendees’ attention to the fact that they need not sustain any sort of auditory injury while embarking on Pink Floyd’s seminal 43-minute psychedelic voyage through human existence.”

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