If you want a mini-recap of what womanhood was all about in 2009 — and a lesson in being a "better lady" in 2010 — check outSarah Haskins' new video, after the jump.

Watching clips of women squealing over shoes and sheets — and getting orgasmic over orange juice — you start to wonder how advertisers got the idea that women respond to these over-the-top portrayals. It's almost like looking at some of the weird "Oldies But Goodies" we post: The ads seem laughably out-of-touch. Should we blame decades of fashion magazines and celebrity worship for promoting consumerist ideals and shopping-as-a-woman's-hobby propaganda? Maybe. But. According to Haskins, we should "Stop asking dumb questions like, 'Is Congress using us as a pawn in the healthcare debate?' and start asking, 'Are my boobs jealous of my butt?" Remember ladies: "Happiness is just one purchase away."