2016-11-28

Ain't I surviving without the coffee grain in the morning? It got me wonder how and why! It's the kick for an active morning. I like my coffee strong where I end up doling gyan to the waiter at my coffee hang out to make it thick and foam flowing atop to make me swirl my way for the day. I am sure they must be wondering what a prick I am.

I don't compromise on my coffee, be it at home or in a restaurant and the moment you mess up with my coffee grains, you are gone for the day. It's quite a tale of obsession that I have nurtured over time and it totally screw my head when the so-called barista makes a weak coffee that wouldn't even classify as decent grain. They get an earful in a super cool, gentle and sweet manner from me. The customer is King.

It's the time of the year when you wonder on the zillion cups of coffees gulped to charge you up and it feels like a fortune amassed throughout the year. The strong coffee bearing various labels and this year I experimented with different brands of coffee, moving away from the traditional Nescafe that I normally have. Like life, it's good to experiment with brands and I loove it hot and sizzling. My coffee gives me company to work, write and of course, read books. It's a great company in my literary journey of life.

It brings me back to the halcyon college coffee days when the whole day was spent sipping coffee at Barista and CCD day, the place where we would study for exams and the open space was traded for shedding 60 bucks sitting for the whole day. I sorely miss those Mumbai and Pune days. Restless morning! You pull tee and jeans to storm you way to CCD or Barista, smoking and gulping, doing gap shup with people as if you have been assigned by the Government to discuss national issues from Sachin to Nuke Deal or India-Pakistan, forgetting your studies. The magic of coffee grain unfurls into your mind which is suddenly sprung to life and making way to your self-claimed intellectual discussion.

The coffee moments is such a mate that you can hide behind the grains to ask a chick out with so much confidence that you think she will not turn you down. Like CCD ensnares us like the modern Day Meneka, 'A lot can happen over Coffee' as if things never happen on its own and coffee is the new George Bush who triggered war. I gotta ask Donald Trump if he loves coffee!

Image sourced from Google

I am actually thinking what coffee can do to people after gulping two cuppa of brandless coffee I got for cheap at the supermarket. The taste is still languishing in my tongue after a good one hour making me think whether my body will suddenly turn coffee like the blue wala Neelkanth. I can be the new coffee God!

Ah!!! Coffee is synonymous with that dude called Karan Johar who spreads his couch for celebrity guests making sensational revelations about love, life and sex. Heard Ranbir Baba confessed of sleeping with someone's girl friend under the influence of Coffee. Tauba! Tauba! Now, this coffee confession beats alcohol hands down. No way, my coffee will push me to reveal dark secret for my hand is decently kept inside my pant. What coffee grains does to people? That too, for a hamper. Now, I wanna a coffee hamper for free. Demonetisation is happily keeping all coffee secrets inside the banks.

I love my coffee which is not mixed with toxic and me promise not to gulp Irish coffee, the same grain mixture with alcohol. Remember, I told you I like my coffee strong under the influence of Priyanka Chopra to pep me up and no, no saucy revelation. Enjoy a strong cup and don't kiss your cup and tell.

He lay icy cold on the wooden bed and sweat oozed like water on the stiff and inertly skinny body. Tension wore thin on her face and looked around to make sure nobody tracked her movement inside the white coated apartment. She had no other alternative but to act super fast and run against time to get rid of the body that would invite the glaring eyes of neighbors and cops. It is already stinking and she almost choked and puked.

Her hands were shaking and almost jumped in fright when an object moved like light, shoving past her bum. A noise was heard inside the kitchen. It turned out to be the neighborhood cat Maggie who leaped out of the window to disappear in the dark. Suddenly, someone was banging on the door with all the might that almost broke the lock. Her eyes bore fear and popped out.

Was she caught? Who got wind of the act? Perfect shot, cut. Scene canned, yelled the director doubling as the corpse who hugged her tightly. Both lovers act on prompt the filmi way to kill the boredom out of their relationship to act in the middle of the night. Their last video shared on You Tube garnered 15,00 hits last night. They were unaware that they were filmed naked by the hidden camera inside the house.

2016-11-27

It's human nature to pay lip service and sing the praises of our 'unsung heroes' during hard time or for that matter when terror strikes. Such mere tokenism is uncalled for. It suits the political establishment, no matter who holds the highest office. It's been 8 years since 26/11 happened in Mumbai, the worst terror attack that wouldn't make the city same again.

There are words such as the resilience of Mumbai or the Spirit of Mumbai used limitlessly as if it's some catchy slogan or to make rhetoric the biggest literary awards for politicians. Like someone once said, Mumbai or any other place is resilient because of the simple fact that people need to get off in the morning to face the day. Do we have an alternate choice?

Nothing can bring back the lives of our martyr, be it the army men, NSG, constable or commoners who lost their lives when the city was hijacked by the face of terror. Unsung heroes are not just the army but common men and women who face life every single day. Sometimes forgetting the fear that they will not back home safely. It's the resilience in Mumbai or any other city. Sometimes back, a young school girl played a prank by pretending to see armed terrorists which sent the city and the forces in a tizzy. It didn't happen for the first time where resources were put to task. It happened after the train blast when teenagers played such pranks that almost evacuated Bandra station. It can be a dangerous game played in the name of thrill and youngsters should be educated on the need to be responsible citizens. Perhaps. they are not educated enough on the definition of a terrorist and its modus operandi.

It starts in schools, at home and the workplace where all stakeholders, Government, workforce, NGOs and ordinary citizens should pool their efforts together. We need to educate people how to respond and be alert be it an unattended bag in the train, railway station or public places. The people are the best judge and agents in the fight against terror. Let's stop alienating minorities or people who stay in areas prone to attacks where the 'informers' rather than going astray can work with the police in return for an income beyond tax or public glare. Creative competition or drawings must be popularized in schools to come with the best posters on how to be alert as citizens or that prank come at a huge cost.

It's high time the Government honor our armed, police forces and NSG commandos. Every life lost be it in the course of duty is a human tragedy that afflicts a family and an entire nation. No Sir, rhetoric is not needed. Mock breach is regularly conducted along the coastlines in the same fashion the likes of Kasab entered Mumbai and severe loopholes were found. It's a case for worry. There is a need for police patrolling and better coordination through laser illuminators, smart fencing system, weapon sights and containerized weapon systems. Are we ready to contain threat? It's the moot question!

The Mumbai Police still lack coastal police stations, sophisticated weapons and bullet proof jackets. Administrative apathy is holding the force back and there is a huge need to beef up security through better infrastructure and coordination between forces to thwart terror attempts.

It was a dark day in a city deemed and rightly so, to be liberal and always on its toes that was brought to a standstill. There was intelligence failure on all counts and absence of resources to capture communications spearheaded by LET in connivance with ISI. Like they say, justice delayed is justice denied. Eight years later, justice and compensation are eluding the victims running around in the quest for closure.

Educate, be aware as responsible citizens and beef up security to ensure that India and its people are protected from heinous terror attacks. We need to send a loud and clear signal. Our people are the biggest assets and they can be agents to strengthen law and order. We are hitting an empty wall and despite evidence given to Pakistani authorities, it doesn't suit them to prosecute Lakhvi, Hafeez Saeed and their ilk involved in terror attacks. High time for India to move international powers to bring Pakistan to task and be declared a terrorist state.

2016-11-20

There will be men and then there will be boys. I stumbled on this topic on a web portal which got me thinking what ‘Being a Man Means’ and what social conditioning over the years leads us to think. No! It’s not about being aggressive, showing virility or pumping iron.

Being a Man for me means showing respect to women, treat them as equal to me and respect their intelligence or achievements. It goes much beyond that and doesn’t entail me with inherently inborn privileges over them as human beings. I refuse to believe in entitlement since we don’t have ascribed status.

Being a Man doesn’t make me a protector of woman. I feel that we have tread a wrong route when it comes to protecting a woman. She can be her own protector and she doesn’t need a man to do that. The moment we decide that we are a kinda superhero protector, it boosts the wrong image of fairer sex. Of course, as a man, I must have the balls to stand for a woman when someone is bullying or insulting her.

Being a Man means that I can cry as a human being to express my emotions. I was born into the womb of a woman and emotions are passed to me. I am weak as a man and it’s time to accept this personality trait. Being a Man doesn’t make me flawless and it’s not about biceps.

Being a Man means smooching a girl, getting intimate and having sex without going around and tell around that I have had sex with X, Y or Z. There is a difference between men and boys. Boys go around and tell the world they have sex with a particular girl. For me, it’s immature and doesn’t make someone a man. Be a Man but with human dignity and self-respect.

Being a man means shoulder your responsibilities, never shy away and accept with grace you are wrong, doesn’t matter the criticisms comes from a female or male boss. It’s all about chucking out the ugly male ego and don’t be a conspirator to the world of patriarchy. Being a man doesn’t mean that I can force myself on a woman. Remember, No means No! When a woman says she doesn’t want Sex, it means No you cannot force yourself into her. It makes you a Man, not the other way round.

Being a man means believing in values and never to compromise ethics, ideologies I believe in. Standing for what is right and speaking about what is wrong makes you a man, woman but most importantly human.

Being a Man means standing for your woman in the face of all forms of oppression, be it sexual, gender and religious. No religious saint can tell me that my wife, sister or mother shouldn’t touch flowers during prayers just because she is going over her periods. It’s the worst and false religious implication which is ridiculously stupid which fetters us. It’s what dark ages are all about! Hit against this malpractice and let’s restore dignity to society.

Being a Man means is to treat my son and daughter with respect, instill in them the values of equality and to teach them emotions, doing the dishes or earning is not a man or women thing. It’s about teaching my son to be respectful towards women and my daughter not to let anyone crush her identity, it is her choice to have boyfriends, premarital sex or wear short skirts since she is not dirty but the minds who reek of filth.

2016-11-18

You’ve just been friend-zoned! Wobbling voice, late night sms-es...oops sorry, nowadays, I forgot how cool Whatsapp is nowadays and morning routine wake-up call as if you are some bird rattling on her window sill and squeaking to wake her up from last night’s party.

Tired of the hint that you give her by flirting on how ravishing she looks which your lady love to simply brush it out with , ‘Shut up! You idiot!’ You find everything cute about her, the stupid jokes, coy smile, laughs, and childishness. Why can’t you fucking bare open your heart to express how much you drool over her? There is always a risk. The Lakshman Rekha, I know. You are too scared and insecure to over step the boundary. Loss of friendship and a beautiful relationship is at stake. You toss on the bed at night, staying wide awake with the eyes popping out and playing flames on the crumpled white paper for you are unsure about her feelings for you.

Remember Ae Dil Hai Mushkil, the character played by Anushka, Alizeh loves Ranbir aka Ayan but as a friend. Poor dude Ayan! He has been friend-zoned and couldn’t come to terms with it.

Catch 22: Go Get a Life

It's a catch 22 situation. You do the run around for her and double as her good man Friday. After all, do you see a future with her? Here we are not talking bout getting married or producing beautiful babies but a casual thing, yes or probably romance. There is always a risk. For sure, she is no friend with benefit or fuck buddy if both of you emotionally cling to each other. What happens when both of your decide to call it quits? The pain or hurt expressed when the friendship goes for a toss. It holds no future for both of you. Where is the relationship taking you?

The most sensible thing to do is avoid doing the running around and confidant like the puppy or couch that she snuggles her head to share everything, ranging from BFF zone, jealousy, clothes or the guy she drools over. You are the perfect balloon where she vents out almost everything.

Please for fuck sake don’t keep moving around only with her as if she’s some trophy and don’t forget the golden rule of millions fish to catch in the pond. Stop shutting yourself from the window of opportunities. You look like a best friend mushy corn that she loves to munch. I am not saying don’t be nice but in plain words: Go, Get a Life.

Build on that friendship

You see a future with her. You've been friend-zoned. Caught between the devil and the deep blue sea! Many relationships thrive on steady friendships. Get your priority right! Perhaps you need to shift your gaze away from her and meet new people, new chicks. Flit around and keep a normal distance. She might sense something odd or will realize she is missing you. You can casually ask whether she is missing you and gently broach the topic that you are looking not just for friendship but a relationship which is much beyond BFF type.

Play the waiting game

Love and matters of the heart bloom with hope. In today's time where relationships are casually fickle, you tend to build a mountain of expectations and patiently waiting her breaking up with the boyfriend. Relationships are casual. There are chances of breaking up. Don’t push her away or else, you might lose someone precious. Listen to her tales of insensitive boyfriend, uncaring and matters of the heart she's unwilling to tell her boyfriend. She needs a shoulder to lean and cry. Be that person! The trusted man who would always stand by her without judging no matter what. Make her feel beautiful and desirable.

Friendship vs love vs romance

Often, there is a blurred line between friendship, romance, and physical attraction. It can get physical. Been there and done that, falling for your best friend. It can kill you every nanosecond of life. It's confusing, gloomy and feels like hitting flies with your palm turning into mosquito nets. Be a brand. Most of the girls have several male friends and overnight, they cannot make one of them which is you the boyfriend or sleep with since they bored with life. What is your USP? For sure, you are contented being just a friend in this whole equation. First, thing, just don’t overdo thing that will push her away. Breathe and proceed calmly.

Value her space

We all love our space. It’s a given. Her space means the world to her and don’t suffocate her by stalking her in every nook-and-corner to think ultimately, you are the most welcome in her bedroom. Don’t ask about her exes or her past sex life. Trust me, it’s annoying to the core. How would you like if a female friend is at your neck? Think from that perspective. Control your emotions. It’s quite tricky. Who knows she is taking the time to get over the ex-boyfriend or past relationship that hurts? Such things take a long time to heal. Give her time and space to figure things out. Don’t give the impression that you are in a hurry. Take things slowly and harness the relationship.

Improve yourself

Be a stud and a cool dude that doesn’t fret over simple things like ‘friendzoned’, love and romance. You can surprise her by opening the door of the car, surprise with flowers and hold her chair during lunch or dinner. Be desirable. You don’t need to attend to every single call or Whatsapp message she sends and reply as soon as she pinged. Drop subtle hints. You gotta chill if freak is inherent in your genes. Gentle prod her if there is a special one in her life or she has an interest in someone. Read the signs and if there is a need to move, just do it in a gentlemanly and charming manner. That way, your friendship stays intact. Don’t be Ayan. You may not be Mister Perfect but a real charmer that will earn you respect and be at your charming best. Who knows she may fall for your charm and chase you down the road!

Chuck our niceties

Be naughty and stop being nice for its dull and boring. The days of being nice is gone, dusted and buried. It’s time to play wicked for girls don’t like good boys. Yes! It’s true. Chuck out nice and be real. Stop wearing the cloak of the dude who loves selflessly and gives freely. Wear a tattoo, get drunk, party heavily and hit on women.

For You ladies!

This one is for you, Womaniya! Who says women don’t get friend zoned in the world of Tinder. It’s time to get rid of your Sati Savitri image. Be smoking and piping red hot, wear that super short skirt showing your sexy legs, tone your bodies and flirt shamelessly. In short, sex it up! All of us are tired being just a friend, be it a man or woman.

Learn to let go. It’s a virtue. So, the next time you are friend-zoned, figure it out like a pro, go on a dating spree and come back to see if he or she misses you or nurture feeling. Be honest and share your feeling, not without telling that you are tired of getting into that play zone.