Archive for category Saud Park

Note: This is a work of sature, please dont take it seriously. I have to add this disclaimer because there are people out there who are likely to take it seriously. This particular story refers to two infamous fatwas where the scholars suggested that a man and a woman who are working in an office can interact with one another if they are mehram. They can become mehram if she breastfeeds the man and thus they can work in the same environment. The fatwa caused an outrage in Egypt and it had to be retracted. The following story is inspired from that fatwa.

(I) In the year 2040: This was a problem that scholar and scientists had wrestled with for millenia but no one had a solution which everyone could agree on. The perrenial problem was how to ensure that people can interact with one another without falling for their lustful desires. Large number of “scientific” studies had shown that even in academic environments whereever people interacted

uncovered

or covered

…. it always led to disaster.

(II) Finally the scientist and the scholars sat down and after billions of dillars of research found an “elegant” solution to this problem – Time Travel.

(III) The solution works as follows: Suppose that Fatima and Abu Imran are two colleages in an office who have to interact with one another but they cannot because they are not mehram. They will be first taken to the Time Travelling facility.

(IV) Where the scientists will take the DNA sample from the man and feed it to the supercomputer who will find an appropriate point in time in the past for the necessary changes.

(V) One of the agents of the Temporal Religious Police would be selected to go back in time.

(VI) The agent will go back in time when Abu Imran is just an infact and at a moment when no one is looking he will grab Abu Imran.

(VII) Now that he is back to the future with the young Abu Imran, Fatima can breastfeed him and thus the mehram relationship will be established between them.

(VIII) Afterwards the infant Abu Imran will be sent back to his own time and thus there will be no paradox. Muslims all over teh world have shown interest in using this technology of time travel to solve other problems e.g., the Palestinian conflict but the authories say that they do not want to interfere in the affairs of God and besides what can possibly be more important that breastfeeding one’s colleages from the past!

Brother, sisters, friends and enemies, this is the first edition of Abu Pokemon. Here we explore and discuss questions of relevance for us. In the face of so many hardships and so many problems in the world sometimes the medicine that one really needs is laughter.

In the first installation of Abu Pokemon we will address the issue of women driving in Saudi Arabia. In that country women are prohibited from driving by law based on a fatwa with which most Muslims outside of the country actually disagree with. If you ever wondered what is the reasoning behind the ban then you are at the right place. It may sound like something from South Park or even the Onion but somebody actually said this. Let us visualize the Sheikh’s reasoning in the following series of “photographs.”

Note: Yaani is a figure of speech in Arabic. Its kind of like how American use “Like.”

Excerpt: “If someone were to say that a woman can drive a car without taking off her hijab, by covering her face and wearing dark glasses over her eyes, the answer to that is that this is not what really happens when women drive cars. Ask those who have seen them in other countries. Even if we assume that this could be applied initially, it would not last for long, rather the situation would soon become as it is in other countries where women drive. This is how things usually develop; they start out in an acceptable fashion then they get worse.” (Source: http://www.islamqa.com/en/ref/45880/women%20driving)

Observation: I suppose you have noticed that this is the case because there are no Muslim women who drive and wear hijab and the women who wear hijab stop wearing hijab as soon as they start driving.

(ii) Women will be able to go wherever they want?

Caption: “Yippee! I can go wherever I want.”

Excerpt: “You may find a divorced woman going where she wants, whenever she wants and however she wants, for whatever purpose she wants, because she is alone in her car, at any time she wants of the day or night. She may stay out until late at night. If people are complaining about this with regard to young men, then what about young women, going all over the place the length and breadth of the country, and maybe even beyond its borders.” (Source: http://www.islamqa.com/en/ref/45880/women%20driving)

Observation: Does that explain why women are so immodest in the other 55 Muslim countries?

(iii) Female Drivers are immodest?

Caption:

Omar: “Get off me, what has gotten into you Fatima. I am shocked by your behavior.”
Fatima: “I just learned driving.”

Caption: “I can do whatever I want, Yaani now that I have a driver’s license!”

Observation: Does that mean that we should not associate with any woman who drives? Just look at the face of the women in the second image and the beer in her hand.

(iv) Women will leave their house?

Caption: “Bye honey I am doing drive aimlessly especially that the oil is cheap in this country. Yaani Yipee!”

Excerpt: “It also leads to women going out of the house a great deal, …., because those who love to drive enjoy it very much, hence you see them driving around in their cars here and there for no purpose, except to enjoy driving.” (Source: http://www.islamqa.com/en/ref/45880/women%20driving)

Observation: Next time think twice before asking your sister to drop you off to school.

(v) Driving Leads to Fitnah

Caption:

Policeman: “Excuse me Madam but you just violated the traffic signal but perhaps I can let you off, you know what I mean Yaani?”

Excerpt: “It is a cause of fitnah in many places: when stopping at the traffic lights, or at gas stations, or at inspection points, or when stopped by policemen at the scenes of traffic infractions or accidents, or if the car stalls and the woman needs help. What will her situation be in this case? Perhaps she may come across an immoral man who takes advantage of her in return for helping her, especially if her need is great to the point of urgency.” (Source: http://www.islamqa.com/en/ref/45880/women%20driving)

Observation: Isn’t that a rampant problem?

(vi) Taking the space of more deserving men

Caption: “Yaani so long sucker. I am going to take your spot on the street. Yipee!”

Observation: That explains why the Holland Tunnel is so crowded with traffic.

(vii) Rebelling against family?

Caption: “You know what? I don’t like you. Yaani, I am like, Yanni, I dont like you. I am like Yaani leaving home like Yaani dad and I am like Yaani going to like Yaani drive Yaani.”

Excerpt: “It is a means of women rebelling against their families and husbands; at the least provocation they may go out of the house and drive in the car to wherever they think they can get some peace, as happens in the case of some young men, who are able to put up with more than women. ” (Source: http://www.islamqa.com/en/ref/45880/women%20driving)

Observation: How did they come up with that idea?

(viii) Women Love Fashion and you know what that means

Caption: “I duped my old car last week. It was getting old, I mean, Yaani, it was three months old.”

Caption: “Well that did not last, I am like Yaani, I cant go to another party with the same car.”

Excerpt: “It causes fitnah to flourish because women – by their nature – like to make themselves look good with clothing etc. Do you not see how attached they are to fashion? Every time a new fashion appears they throw away what they have and rush to buy the new things, even if it is worse than what they have. Do you not see the adornments that they hang on their walls? In the same way – or perhaps more so – with the cars that they drive, whenever a new model appears they will give up the first for the new one. ” (Source: http://www.islamqa.com/en/ref/45880/women%20driving)