Two dudes from Texas were hospitalized over the weekend after fighting over the affections of a lady. That in itself isn't remarkable — love has been a catalyst for violence since cavemen were whacking each other with wooly mammoth bones!

The strangeness of this particular story lies in how the fight went down!

After video-game enthusiast Eugene Thompson and his girlfriend with whom he shared an apartment got into a heated argument, she called her estranged husband and he stormed on over!

She let him into their apartment, and that's when the situation really got wacky!

An altercation ensued so Eugene did what any Nintendo fan might do, he whipped out his replica master sword from The Legend of Zelda and defended himself!

Uhh, go ahead read that last sentence again. We'll wait.

HE UNSHEATHED A REPLICA VIDEO GAME SWORD!!! What in the 8-bit f**k!? Who does that?!

Adding injury to insult, the estranged hubby thought the sword was a harmless prop and apparently charged into the pointy end and wound up impaling himself!

Eugene described how he, uhh, severed that link to the past:

"I heard him heading to the bedroom where I was, so I jumped in the closet and I grabbed one of my replica swords, and I pulled it out and stood at the doorway, and he was coming down the hallway at me while I was yelling, 'Go away, you don't live here' and he just walked right into the point of the sword, I don't know if he thought it was a toy."

Eventually the scuffle moved outside and the husband attacked Eugene with a friggin' flowerpot, smashing it over his head with great force Triforce.

Eugene confessed:

"It dinged me on the head and all of a sudden I had blood pouring down my face."

The men were admitted to separate hospitals and were treated for their wounds. There's no word yet on whether Eugene's hospital room comes stocked with a video game console.