My brother and I went to see “The Five-Year Engagement” last night. It was not good. We literally warned people coming into the theater to go see something else. Since this movie was playing against “The Avengers,” my astute, filmmaking, and future Oscar-winning brother, surmised that those involved in the production realized it was horrible, had to release it sometime, and figured they might as well release it around the same time as the first summer blockbuster, at a time when any movie would have a great deal of competition.

I knew it would not be the best movie ever when it was billed as a comedy, but had a running time over 2 hours long. My general opinion is that no comedy should be longer than about 90 minutes. There are obvious exceptions, anything by Wes Anderson clearly exempt from this rule. In order to fill this amount of time, “The Five-Year Engagement” involved a great deal of random scenes, including a foot chase with martial arts, gratuitous awkward crude humor, a frozen toe, hunting, and an arrow in a leg, among many others. When we were about 90 minutes into the movie, I was sure it would be over any minute. Spencer informed me that there was at least 30 minutes left. At this time, we almost totally stopped paying attention and just talked about life. I really do not know how we would have endured this movie if there was one other person in the theater, for which we would have had to be polite and quiet.

I adored Jason Segel’s “The Muppets.” I think Emily Blunt’s performance as an overworked assistant in “The Devil Wears Prada” was a brilliant comedic masterpiece. There were many hilarious people in this movie- Chris Pratt, Molly Shannon, Chris Parnell… It was sad to see this movie fall apart with so many clearly talented contributors.

It had a few redeeming moments, particularly the ending, which was really adorable. Interestingly, the ending was very reminiscent of a musical number from “The Muppets.” This was the shining moment of the movie, which was no coincidence. It has provided Spencer and I with a world of memories. We will take away an awesome catch phrase. I will use it in the last line of this post and do not feel bad about not being a part of our inside joke. It’s easy enough to understand. Wait for it…

If you see the movie, which I emphatically do not recommend, you will definitely feel like eating the day old doughnuts.