Okay, so it's been forever since I've posted. It wasn't that I forgot about Little Den, not at all; in fact, I pined for it. I wished I had the energy to complete the things I had in mind, but found that I was tail-spinning into a life that offered next to zero work-life balance, and it left me drained and uninspired.

So, why am I here now? Well, because I got fired.

This is not an easy thing for me to admit. I've never been the girl that got 'let-go', that's not a part of the professional image I had constructed for myself. In all of my prior jobs, my employers wanted me to stay when I left. But there I was, holding my last paycheck, offered a box for my belongings, asked to hand over my keys and leave the building.

I had worked for the company for nearly two years. The last time I had been sat down for a meeting, it was for a raise and a bonus. It wasn't my dream job, but I was still stunned. Mostly, I was hurt. The answer they gave me when I asked why? was unsatisfactory, though a sudden release wasn't uncommon in my workplace. However, this post isn't about trashing my former employers. Despite the end, I gained experience, made good contacts, and found financial stability.

The week after was a reckoning. There I was, twenty-five, and my life didn't even remotely resemble what my ten-year-old, sixteen-year-old, hell, even my twenty-two-year-old self thought my life was going to look like at this point. Twenty-five sounds, well, pretty adult. Shouldn't I have things generally sorted at this point? Instead, I was abruptly unemployed, the thought of grad school abandoned, in a long distance relationship with a Marine, watching my parents divorce. This had not been the plan.

I've been known to succumb to destructive anxious circular thinking, those thoughts that play in a non-stop loop, sometimes to the detriment of my physical health. With this in my past, it seemed like the natural next step in between filing for unemployment and trying to come up with a reason to wear something other than sweatpants. That voice does whisper somewhere in the back of my mind, you should be freaking out about this, but weirdly enough... I'm not listening. Actually, it's been awhile since I've felt this good.

My life has gone off-script. Pretty much any plan I had going is now a pile of smoldering embers. And it makes me laugh. It's liberating. My boyfriend even told me over FaceTime that I look cuter than ever, because I look so happy. So that Roald Dahl quote about having good thoughts shining out of your eyeballs like sunbeams or whatever? Totally true, apparently.

Here's the thing about going off-script, you get to rewrite the whole thing. Turns out, it isn't as scary as it sounds. Because even though the preconceived notion of my mid-twenties-existence is out the window, I'm not starting over. I'm good at things; I have skills and passions and a big-ass smile, which I've found counts for a lot. If your future goes blank, remember your past won't, and there are plenty of strengths you've stored there. You have enough to go forward, and just maybe, that terrible thing isn't quite so terrible as you thought.

If I was adding skills to my LinkedIn profile (which I've been doing a lot of lately), prayer probably isn't one I'd list. I've always been bad about asking for help, even from God. Losing my job has been a humbling experience, it brought me low, looking outside of myself. In this place, I found it was suddenly much easier to ask God for this guidance, because I could see I didn't have this whole situation sorted out. So I ask God pretty frequently now to help lay a path for me, show me where I should go. I ask if I'm right to think that it's time to try something new, take a risk, strike out on my own like my heart is calling for. It seems that every time I ask, something comes to me in affirmation of my desires, whether it be a card from a friend, a new opportunity, a well-placed compliment from a stranger. In these moments, I laugh a little, and cast my eyes upward.

For the time being, at least, you'll find me relishing in the blank page and the strength of a prayer.

"If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeamsand you will always look lovely."-Roald Dahl

This isn't the easiest post for me to write. To be perfectly honest, it wasn't that easy to get myself together to prepare this week's posts. After being gone for so long, not updating here for over a month, part of me certainly wondered why I was even bothering at all. I considered it might be easier to just let Little Den drift into the place where un-updated blogs go to languish, and stay in bed instead.

A little over two weeks ago, my boyfriend of almost three years left for Notre Dame Law School. With this huge change headed our way, it was easy to dismiss my blog for the time being, thinking I'll get back to it! and devoting myself to enjoying the last month of him being at home. But I discovered that after he left, I still didn't feel like doing, well, much of anything. In our era of such female empowerment, can-do-anything attitude, I think it can be hard to admit that we need someone, particularly when it comes to the absence of a significant other. When some people hear about my new long distance relationship status, it's met with statements like you'll have time to do whatever you want! and but you're going to get to see him on all of his breaks! Both of which are true, so I found myself nodding in agreement instead of saying what I really felt, which is something a lot more like but I'm lonely. I truly do feel as though I can accomplish whatever I set my mind to, and I know that I can do it on my own; I have learned, however, that those abilities don't negate the importance of a significant bond. For some time, I felt ashamed of needing someone, like I wasn't doing something right. I was embarrassed to admit that I wasn't totally okay with going it alone, and that made me feel even more powerless. Then, I had the great fortune of reading an article in the most recent Darling magazine which struck a chord with me, illuminating a giant light bulb over my head.

The moral of the story? Needing someone and being needy aren't the same thing.

By realizing that I could cop to my desire to have my boyfriend back home while simultaneously being incredibly proud and happy for him, I felt remarkably released from this sort of bad-feminist-esque guilt trip I had sent myself on. I figured out that as long as I wasn't whining, complaining, not meeting up to my duties, or making things more difficult for the people around me (ie, making my boyfriend feel bad for moving to Indiana), I was doing okay. It's normal to be bummed out.

Today I will... do good work, not waste time, be kind, let it go, make it happen, love one another.

I keep this print by the door now, to remember what doesn't get sacrificed in my times of being bummed out. While I may be allowed to stay in on a Friday night or binge watch episodes of the X-Files instead of getting all of my laundry done and even get sad when cooking breakfast for one, it doesn't mean I'm allowed to become a slave to my emotions. That's being needy. I can say I need some girlfriend time without being needy; I don't get to mope about my issues the whole time, because that's definitely needy.

This flag is another reminder I love having in my home; while I can't wait to take it out on an adventure, I equally love having it because it reminds me not to remain stagnant. It reminds me to get my butt out of bed in the morning, to try cooking new things, to catch up with friends; it reminds me to keep growing, to keep exploring.

I work full time, and I commute close to an hour and a half each way, every day. For those of you living in LA or any other traffic congested city, that probably comes with little surprise, though I can already feel the winces from those who are blessed by a non-traffic existence. I have a lot of reasons why it's worth it to me to drive so much for work, though I will admit that sometimes I wonder if they are good enough reasons (usually this happens when I'm staring at brake lights on the 405). Regardless, I'm living with the reality that nearly 3 hours of each weekday I spend in the car, which leaves even less time for my non-work life. Because of this, there are certain things that get sacrificed, like how regularly I vacuum or put my shoes away in the closet. Another thing that can easily become overlooked, and I think is felt by most people who are leading hectic work or family lives, is cooking or just eating healthy in general. I'll admit, that when I get home at 7 o'clock at night after sitting at a near stand still on the freeway, all I really want is drive-thru french fries and cold beer from the fridge. Well, at least that's what I think I want.

For as many times as I've thought "I'm too tired to cook," I've also been really glad I put on my big girl pants and made myself a proper meal. Through trial and error, I've discovered a few things that make it much easier for me to prepare better, healthier meals without the hassle.

Shop more regularly. This is something I learned while studying abroad in Italy, where I shopped a couple times a week instead of a huge once a week mega-shop. This was necessary since I didn't have a car to transport 50 pounds of groceries back to the 4 story walk-up of my apartment, and it also guaranteed I was eating the freshest food. While I know it may sound daunting to be heading to the grocery store after work, smaller shopping trips are less stressful and your diet more varied. I'm less likely to cook if I'm eating the same bulk thing every night. Having new, fresh items in the house motivates me to eat what I have and waste less.

Find shortcuts that work for you. I'll admit, I don't make everything from scratch. My biggest trick is buying pre-cooked meat to add to whatever else I'm preparing. One of my favorites is grilled chicken breasts from Trader Joe's, which come several to a package. I chop them up to put on salads, mix in with grains or pasta, or make sandwiches. Cutting out that one step makes more time for me to cook, eat, and enjoy my evening.

Make enough for two meals. Now you have a lunch on hand (less eating out!) or another dinner; leftovers are an awesome time saver! I don't like to make more than one extra meal, since your produce won't be as fresh (and I get tired of it after a day and a half!).

Pick a base ingredient, and cook around that. Good base ingredients include things like grains (for example, couscous or the polenta shown above) and meat, elements that can be easily diversified by using a variety of preparations, produce, and herbs. This night, I baked my polenta and added fresh mozzarella cheese, a tomato from a friend's garden, and basil from my new little plant. Another night, I'll fry it and top it with pasta sauce and garlic olive oil (and polenta can make a great breakfast dish too!). Cooking this way makes it easy to use a variety of seasonal produce (and to try out new cooking skills!).

Here's a bad selfie of me and my new basil plant. Yes, we are very happy together, thank you.

Ready to get radical? Ditch your microwave. The only time I've ever lived with a microwave was for two years in college when my roommate had one. You know what I made in it? Frozen dinners. Having a microwave makes it easy to fall into a processed-food-fueled eating routine, given how quickly meals can appear on your plate. Give your microwave the heave-ho and those excuses go with it. Really don't have the time? It's okay to cheat and eat a drive-thru burger or burrito on occasion! I'll admit to a mean weakness for Del Taco.

I closing, here are few of my favorite easy, post-work dinners!

Lettuce + veggie + meat + dressing = salad. That simple math makes it easy to incorporate what catches your eye when you're shopping. For extra protein, I like to add a couple 6 minute eggs on the side.

I'm on a huge Israeli (sometimes called pearl) couscous kick. I prepare it with chicken broth and then add veggies and herbs. My favorite combo at the moment is bell peppers, paprika, mint, goat cheese, and olive oil!

I tend to gravitate towards what we call "pick dinners" in my family, which include several separate elements. This is great for evenings for when I'm really not in the mood to cook, and will include things like sliced avocado or bell peppers, cottage cheese or other sliced cheese, seasonal fruit, an egg, toast with cream cheese and lox, etc!

Hope that gives some of you busy working ladies out there some ideas!Happy cooking, Rachel

Last weekend while I was at home tidying up the Little Den, the light coming through the door was so perfect and I was looking around at the little things in my little home that make me so happy. So, I grabbed my camera and snapped a few photos so I could share a quick home update with you guys!

I don't iron all that much (I try really hard to nab my shirts straight out of the dryer and hang them up to avoid this step!), but when I do, I adore my set up on an aesthetic level. Upon discovering how expensive irons are, I borrowed (took) this old-school one my mom had in the back of our linen closet. It was my grandmother's originally; there's no steam component, so I use a travel hairspray bottle to spritz with water. I love the cloth covered cord and all the shiny chrome.

My space is limited so I generally don't have room to set up my tabletop ironing board on an actual tabletop, so I just sit on the floor by the door, which I kinda like. The apartment(ish) building I live in is painted terracotta red, so when the sun bounces off the walls in the courtyard, I get a lovely diffused pink glow.

The space between my bed and the bookshelf is pretty tiny, so the fact that this tray fits right in there is almost miraculous (not pictured: the cardboard box it's propped up on). A nice stack of books to read makes it just the right height for my phone, or alternately, an morning glass of champagne.

My last place was literally covered in frames and knick-knacks, both of which I have cut down to a very minimal amount. My little plastic deer, who have lived by my bedside in 3 different homes, are an exception (and will likely be an exception I make forever). The only framed photo I have unpacked is this signed picture of Catherine Coulson aka Margaret Lanterman aka The Log Lady of Twin Peaks. It's one of prized possessions, so much so that I haven't even put out family photos but I have this by the bed #Sorrynotsorry #Okaykindasorry

My 3 feet of kitchen counter top can get pretty cluttered, but I love the little vignettes that unfold here; sometimes with flowers, almost always with fresh fruit, vases lined up, all stalwartly watched my pig salt and pepper shakers. I tucks tassels, grocery lists, and notes from my mom in the mirror above the sink.

And just to be honest, this spot is also the most likely to be the messiest. Because really, I'm a human being who just happens to blog, and that means I don't always do my dishes right after I cook. It becomes really easy when your blogging and looking at everyone's perfect home on Instagram to feel bad about the fact that you don't have Anthropologie bedding (hi, IKEA) or keep peonies magically blooming all the time (ok, those things die SO FAST). No, I don't have a fancy glass coffee carafe but instead have a standard black plastic one. But that doesn't mean you don't have a lovely, beautiful, perfect home. It's the little things that are often the best things, and comparison is the thief of joy.

The best version of you (and your home) is the authentic version!Keep it real ladies, xox Rachel

For the Bard's 450th birthday, I thought it only right to commemorate this moment when tiny Shakespeare was born in Stratford-upon-Avon. I have always been a great lover of Shakespeare, which probably stemmed from the fact that my parents met while working at a Shakespeare festival (my mom was the house manager and my dad an actor) and it therefore filtered into quite a bit of my childhood. Since this love sort of fell into my lap, I am always so intrigued by those, particularly of my generation, who have taken to Shakespeare on their own. In my brief college flirtation with a literature minor, I met a guy who had spent nearly 100 hours under the tattoo needle. All of his tattoos were inspired by Shakespeare; most prominent being the series of Hamlet quotes etched across his rib cage (which he showed me during class). It's remarkable that hundreds of years later, these plays remain compelling; but while it is indeed remarkable, it's not accidental.

There's a reason why Shakespeare continues to be performed, and is produced in period dress (costumes in the style that would have been seen in Shakespeare's England) and in modern dress (just about everything else). There's a reason why you can see Hamlet staged in an ancient Danish castle or in a modern complex outfitted with closed circuit security cameras; there's a reason you can see Romeo + Juliet with Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes in a gang-infested beach town, or played out during the Mexican-American war. It's also more than just "universal themes": love, war, family, rivalry, etc. The continual popularity of Shakespeare, as far as I can see it, has much more to do with the uncompromising use of wit, the constant use of humor and debauchery, and the utter lack of preachiness. While there is still a lesson to impart, a moral of the story, it is not sermonizing or shaming, but instead brought about joyously, or wistfully, as the case requires. We are not spared the tragedy, but also treated to playful words (of which Shakespeare is estimated to have created about 1,700). One of the items on my bucket list is to see Shakespeare's Canon, which by most standards is considered to be the plays published in the First Folio. To help aid in this pursuit, I've put together a hand-lettered checklist; just in case you might like join me, I've included a download link!

I have seen 11 out of the 35, mostly at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival (the one where my parents met). It is an amazing place to visit; Ashland is a wonderful small town, and the festival has an outdoor Elizabethan theater, with the addition of two indoor facilities. During the summer in New York, there is a troupe that puts on roving Shakespeare plays in Central Park, where you walk (or run, if you want a close "seat") to the next scene, directed by the actors. I saw Love's Labours Lost like that, and it was really fun. No matter where you are, many states have groups that put on Shakespeare plays; here is a great list of festivals.

The Ramos Gin Fizz was first dreamed up in 1888, originally called the New Orleans Fizz, by Henry C. Ramos. Working in the New Orleans (now long gone) Imperial Cabinet Saloon, Ramos was said to have a staff of 12 to 20 bartenders on hand to help craft these. Why, you may ask? Because the original instructions stated that the drink should be shaken for at least 10 minutes, if not all of 12. The drink retained its popularity post prohibition, most notably when in 1935, New Orleans governor Huey P. Long sent a bartender from the Roosevelt Hotel in New Orleans to its New York counterpart. He had the New Orleans bartender teach the Manhattan-ites the subtleties of this fine drink, so that he might be able to acquire a perfect Ramos Gin Fizz during his trips to New York. These days, it would be difficult to find this iconic drink anywhere outside of New Orleans, and only a handful of bars at that. The long prep time combined with the unusual ingredient list makes it something of notoriety, a drink that lends itself to dreaming of a long gone era. I hope that description has you intrigued enough, because you're going to think I'm bonkers once I tell you what's in this thing.

How to Make A Ramos Gin FIzz

2 ounces London Dry gin

1 ounce heavy cream, half and half, or milk

1 ounce simple syrup

1/2 ounce fresh squeezed lemon juice

1/2 ounce fresh squeezed lime juice

1 egg white

(if you're squeamish about the idea of using egg whites, you can used powdered instead. However, the chance of getting salmonella is very low when using fresh, cold eggs)

2-3 dashes orange blossom water

(I purchased mine very inexpensively from a middle eastern market, but it can also sometimes be found at specialty grocery stores such as Trader Joe's or Bristol Farms. It can also be ordered online if no stores in your area carry it.)

1 drop vanilla extract (optional)

Soda

Glass: Collins

Garnish: Straw (optional)

Combine all of your ingredients in a cocktail shaker and shake vigorously for 10-15 seconds sans ice. This "dry shake" jump starts the emulsification of the egg white (the sugar "cooks" the egg white, causing it to stiffen some). Add several small ice cubes and continue to shake with enthusiasm and vigor. Most recipes no longer call for the extensive 10-12 minutes of shaking; often it's recommended to shake until you can no longer hear the ice, or about 2-3 minutes. I shook mine longer than that, and was happy with the outcome. Pour the frothy contents into a chilled Collins glass and slowly top with soda to rise the head. This creates a reaction much like a root beer float, but with a much thicker foam. So thick, that your straw should be able to stand upright in it.

Here's me shaking shaking shaking. It was quite the arm workout! Once I was done and the drink was poured, I was immediately struck with immense trepidation at the thought of actually consuming the beverage. I was thinking that was 2 ounces of very fine gin I just poured into cream and citrus juice and EGGS. So, I made my mom take the first sip. She took one slightly timid sip through the straw and then looked at me. "Oh, that's good." Since she had cleared the path, I eagerly tried it myself, and there's not much to say besides the fact that this is indeed a very good drink. While the ingredients may seem like an arbitrary grocery list or a joke, Henry C. Ramos clearly knew something I didn't when he mixed that up. The creamy, citrus, and floral notes combine so nicely with the gin, that you kinda forget there's alcohol even in this thing. I used heavy cream, which is the standard recipe, but in the future I might try half and half. While I loved the creaminess, it was also incredibly rich. This definitely isn't a drink for just any party (I wouldn't shake anything for 10-12 minutes for just anyone, you know), but it's a sophisticated element to add to your repertoire. And it's pretty impressive.

Bonus Material: If you're interested in more gin cocktails, I recommend you watch this series of GIFs about making Gin n' Juice. Not because it's informative, but because it's so remarkably awkward.

Last weekend I threw my very first (little, quite little) event in the Little Den! It was a brunch for my cousin's birthday; even though it was just 3 of us, I was admittedly a little concerned about pulling it off. I mean, once all the leaves are folded out on my table, there's barely enough room between a chair and the mini fridge. But, I'm very happy to report that it was a success, and wanted to share some tips for pulling off an easy brunch (even in a small space). I don't have many photos (we were too busy having fun!), but I'm going to share those too.

A Few Tips & Tricks:﻿

Don't try to plan a crazy menu. You don't need Eggs Benedict, toast, waffles, fruit platters, meat options, etc. etc. Sometimes more is just that... more (and too much). For a simple brunch, opt for a fun pancake recipe you can make that morning, and make everything else easy/already prepared. Fresh berries and yogurt make great starters that your guests can serve themselves. You can buy precooked bacon, or even cook bacon the night before and re-heat that morning. It tastes just as yummy, with the added bonuses of you not slaving over a stove nor do you/your house smell like bacon grease. If your worried about not having enough food, have a few eggs on hand to scramble up, just in case.

Don't stress about time. It's brunch for goodness sake, nobody should be in a rush! Make a big pot of coffee and everyone will happily chat while you finish off the breakfast entree. The nice thing about a studio is that you're never too far from the action, even while cooking!

Decor goes a long way. Fresh flowers and a color scheme make everything feel more fun. However, don't let that translate into a budget-busting table display. Mismatched coffee mugs add charm and use drinking glasses to hold little bouquets; make the most of what you already have. When preparing for a party, I always go to thrift stores, like Goodwill and Salvation Army, for the little details I need. Not only does it save money, but you can also find more one-of-a-kind charming things to add character. Another one of my go-to tricks is to use cheap wrapping paper as a table runner, which makes it easy to match your theme.

Add an element of the unusual. Make sure your guests don't easily forget what a great party you throw my including something that they won't find at a restaurant. I added a pitcher of water flavored with orange blossom, but it could be anything from little party favors, an unusual drink mixer, creative coffee, fun flavor combinations, or printed invitations.

Mimosas. Champagne will cover any and all cooking mistakes.

Remember to have fun! A stressed out hostess is the fastest way to an uncomfortable gathering; if you feel yourself getting overwhelmed, please refer to the point above.

I'm back from Mexico! I'm at work, already missing the sound of the ocean and eating street tacos constantly (by the end of the trip, my boyfriend and I were referring to our late day meals as 'first dinner' and 'second dinner'), but the fact that it's International Waffle Day is still pretty exciting! Upon the discovery of the actual existence of this amazing holiday (all thanks to the Swedes), I immediately started brainstorming recipes. Imagine all of the things I could put in them! I'll make them gluten-gree! WHIPPED CREAM. Then suddenly I remembered that I don't own a waffle iron. What a bummer of a realization that was. But what I do own is a toaster, so that lead to the obvious choice of toaster waffles. Which seemed sort of... lame, however. So, I embarked on a mission to do something with toaster waffles that would make them seem a whole lot less lame, and came up with this.

Monte Cristo INspired French-toasted Waffle Breakfast Sandwiches

(AKA: How To Serve Your Friends & Family Toaster Waffles and They Won't Make Fun of You)﻿

Here's what you're going to need for this waffle sandwich goodness :

Toaster Waffles (duh). I used the gluten-free variety from Trader Joe's and really liked them; they held together and were very reasonably priced. There are a lot of other varieties as well, and most major grocery chains carry gluten-free options now.

Brie Cheese

Ricotta Cheese

Raspberry Jam (I use a version that is sweetened with white grape juice and has no added sugar, another Trader Joe's product)

Sandwich Ham (if you want it true Monte Cristo style, you can add turkey as well)

Directions

This recipe will comfortably make enough for two sandwiches, and is easy to up- or down-size as needed. While you're preparing the batter, take your brie and ricotta cheese out of the fridge and allow them to warm up a bit. For the egg batter, beat together:

2 eggs

1/3 cup milk

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 teaspoon cinnamon

small pinch of nutmeg

1 tablespoon of Chambord

Toast two waffles; you want them to be pretty crispy so they will hold together in the egg mixture. I had the best results taking them out of the toaster and letting them rest for a couple of minutes before coating them. Quickly dunk one waffle; since they don't have the same integrity as old bread, letting the waffles soak will cause them to fall apart. Once each side is sufficiently coated, place in a heated frying pan (no need for oil or butter); cook over medium-low heat until the waffle pattern starts to crisp up. Flip and repeat. Once your first waffle is cooked, place it on a plate and start your next waffle. Place a few slices of brie on your cooked waffle, and then spread a thin layer of ricotta cheese over that. Now throw on a few ham slices; are you still watching that other waffle? Once it's done, put some jam on it, and top off your sandwich. One last step! Using a spatula, lift the whole sandwich up and put it back in your hot pan. This is just to help melt that brie cheese at the bottom so no need to flip; once that starts happening, you can lift it back out and serve!

This is a rich, yummy, decadent sort of breakfast best served with a glass of cold milk and side of lazy Sunday afternoon (but admittedly, I've eaten it for dinner after a rough day at work). The aroma of the waffles as they fry in the Chambord smells so good, everyone is going to forget you pulled those waffles out of the toaster.

Whether you're cooking or at IHOP, I hope you celebrate International Waffle Day with some people you like a lot (remember the importance of gathering?). I can't wait to share my travel pictures Puerta Vallarta once they're developed (I went old-school and used disposable cameras!), so that will be up soon. Have a good day and full tummies! XO, Rachel

Happy Floral Design Day! I know it's a holiday you have all been patiently waiting for. I discovered its existence last week, and decided the only proper way to celebrate was to arrange some flowers for my little den. I've enjoyed my floral design quite a bit this week; there's something about fresh flowers that completely alters the atmosphere of a space; plus, they don't really require any natural light (ie, windows outside of the bathroom). Floral Design Day was proclaimed into existence in 1995 by then Massachusetts governor William F. Weld. If you're interested in how and why this came about, you can read about the origins, and the proclamation of purpose ﻿here﻿! There are also lots of ways to celebrate. Of course, if that's not your jam, today is also﻿ Public Sleeping Day﻿.

Taking these photos actually ended up being a very introspective process for me, which took me by surprise. I recalled that one of the first times I took photos for the pure joy of photography, as opposed to preserving an event, was an occasion my mom brought home flowers. A bunch of peachy pink peonies, which she knew would soon fade but hadn't been able to resist at the grocery store. I hung a white sheet from the bookshelf, opened the front door for light, and shot a series of macro images with the point and shoot I had at the time. Those images are floating around my external hard drive, and I'm still quite fond of them. It was a while later before that photography seed actually bloomed into anything, and was actually fostered in the greatest part by my father, who has continued to be my biggest supporter of my enterprises.

The summer before my senior year of high school, my parents and I went on a two week vacation, hitting cities on the East Coast and areas of the South. It was my first time being in New York City and Washington D.C, and I was ecstatic... until my camera was stolen from my purse in transit to NYC. That silly point and shoot I had used to the shoot the peonies, already loaded with D.C. photos, was gone and I was despondent. In an extreme act of love and trust, my father offered to let me borrow his brand new camera, purchased for the trip. It was a Nikon D80, the newest model at the time, a DSLR that was much bigger and much nicer than anything I had ever used. He showed me some basics, put the camera strap around my neck, and set me loose. It was love at first sight. I bonded with that camera so hard, it was difficult to hand it back to him. He went through my photos, glancing back and forth between me and the viewing screen. He told me they were pretty good. For the rest of the trip, my father was quick to lend me the camera. He would take his own shots, and then eagerly pass it to me, seeing how I created my images. I thought he was simply being nice, but sometime later he admitted that he liked my photographs better than his. When we got back, he bought me a new camera. Another point and shoot, but it was much nicer than the one that had been stolen. He continued to let me use his camera, and for my 21st birthday he made sure that I got my own, a Nikon D3000 which is still my baby. In the meantime, directly after I had graduated from high school, I started working as a photographer for Lifetouch in their retail studios. That job was a hellish nightmare; three and a half years of screaming, kicking, being cursed at, bad parenting, even worse managers, missing lunch breaks, being a terrible salesperson, being vomited on, and working some really painful Friday mornings (it was college, after all). One of the best days of my life was quitting that job, but I learned a lot about photography, and my passion flourished. I quit Lifetouch to study abroad in Florence; a whirlwind four months of traveling, eating, and taking hundreds upon hundreds of photos.

When I returned home to the States, I put my camera back in the bag... and never really took it out again. I suffered from an extreme lack of inspiration and rapid life changes that cropped up like roadblocks. My parents announced their divorce after nearly 25 years of marriage, I struggled to get my degree finalized, started a new job, dealt with the pain of an absolutely disintegrated relationship with my roommate, moved back home, was sick for ten months with a digestive problem no one could seem to diagnose, worked through the toughest periods yet in my relationship. My semester abroad ended two years ago now. For two years, my camera has sat waiting for me to return to it, to remember the happiness it brought. To remember that the iPhone can't really capture everything, now matter how many filters you use. For two years, I let the things in my life shackle me, blamed it on everything else, while it was me that stood in the way. Part of my goal for this blog is to inspire myself again, bring me back to the core of was excites me and brightens my outlook. I've started another new job, a good one but not creative in the slightest, and it becomes all too easy to let my more imaginative pursuits slip away in the undertow of paperwork and commuting. Instead, I'm buying flowers. I'm taking pictures. I'm making tassel garlands for my new home and trying out cocktail recipes. I'm planning a vacation and allowing myself to not be stressed out by the fact that there are still a lot of things in my life that are unsettled.

In general, I'm remembering to be happy.

I hope everyone has a good weekend (Sunday is the Oscars, but the really important day is Saturday, which is National Peanut Butter Lovers Day). Cheers, and see you Monday, Rachel

I'm really excited to share how I put together my tissue tassel garland! It was definitely a little time consuming, but the outcome was totally worth it. The best part about going the DIY route is that you can decide what colors you want and how long you want it to be (though if you would rather just have a lovely one shipped right to your door, I'm a big fan of Studio Mucci). I bought my tissue from Target, which perhaps isn't the most cost effective, but they have a great range of colors. The gold tassels are about the easiest thing in the world to make, since you can just buy this 10' long Mylar fringe valance, and then just snip the desired length and roll them up (I used 10" to create mine). The best part is that it's 15" long, which is about the length that the tissue paper tassels come out to be. Okay, you ready for this? Let's get started!

Before you get started, I think it's easiest to decide beforehand what colors and pattern you want to create, and get a rough count of how many tassels you should craft. I did not do this, and now I have about 30 extra tassels just floating around, waiting to be tied onto things (I'm thinking I should just start putting them around in random locations, call it #tasselbombing). Depending on how full you want it, a general guideline is 9-12 tassels per foot of garland. Once you've got that settled, grab your first piece, and lay it out so that you have greater width than length, and let's get going!

step by step:

1. Fold what will be the top of your tassel down, about an inch (the Target sheets are 16.5", keep in mind that you want it to be about 15" once folded). This is going to give you a guide on how far to cut and will make it easier to fold and roll in later steps.2. Fold the tissue paper in half, width-wide. And then do it again. And again. And again. This is going to give you a more manageable amount of cutting. It can help to clip the loose ends together once you've done this, to prevent slippage while cutting.3. Now cut your strips, starting at the bottom and going all the way up to your fold line. Do your best to keep the sheets straight (moving your hand up as you cut help), but I was surprised by how forgiving it actually was. When you get to the last few cuts it gets trickier, but just do your best.4. Once you're done cutting, give your soon-to-be tassel a little shake to loosen any of the strips that got trimmed off accidentally. I had a few of these on every tassel, but it never seemed to effect the fullness adversely. 5. Now, roll it up! I found it best to start rolling from where you just finished cutting because it's usually a little messier, and now it's hidden on the inside!6. Tape it up!7. If you see any pieces that got snipped and are significantly shorter/wider/thinner than the rest, just pull them out from the base to keep the tassel looking uniform.8 & 9. There are a lot of ways you can attach these, but this how I did mine using tape. Fold a piece lenghtwise, sticky sides together to create the loop. Then tape that piece over the top, leaving enough room for your cord (I taped them on as I went, instead of trying to thread them on later).

Boom! You have a tassel! Now make, like, a gazillion more! They're awesome for not only banners, but also for gift wrap, spicing up your bar cart, and they look really lovely hanging with cafe lights. You could also make #tasselbombing a thing. If you're interested in making smaller tassels, I've made some using this method, and they end up looking great as well (you just have to watch that they don't get too tangled while you're rolling them up).

Happy DIY-ing, have a good Thursday! Much love and many returns, Rachel