Monday, November 28, 2005

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

he's gone n i dunno when im gonna c him again.. everytime i walk past his block i look up at his window n the white light that's usually turned on is now off and all i c is the darkness and i can feel the emptiness of his room from where i stand and i know that emptiness too well. Who's to judge who u can have feelings for.. if its your best friend or if its a complete stranger. It catches u unprepared, this feeling, you don't know till its too much, too deep.. too late. U dont know why.. u dont know how.. but u just know. And u know u'll never be the same again. You can't believe a complete stranger has such an effect on u.. someone u've never spoken too but feels lyk u've know them forever. Why do we have to say good bye.. I hate this. Hate not knowing. Hate not seeing. Hate being far away..

Saturday, November 12, 2005

How did it get to this, to be so smitten and feel pure blissA smile that's all it took, since then i wait for u to turn and lookWaitin for u to open ur eyes and see, this undeniable effect u have on meHow is it possible to know every inch of your faceIm tryna remember how i got here in the first placeEventhough there have been others in between, others that make me wanna convince the person withinOthers, that in comparison, seem so right for me after so longBut for once in my life i'm not choosing right over wrongThere have been moments, when im convinced this feeling will go awayAnd think all i need is a distraction, another toy to playSo i surround myself with people, hoping to be freeBut by doing so i only get more tangled up in this web of emotions, unable to breatheSo i close my eyes and suddenly everything becomes clear againAs everyone else falls away, there you still remain.

Excuse meee?? Anyone who knows me well knows that im absolutely terrified abt all the terrorist attacks that have been going around.. And last month wit the whole bomb scare in Perth City.. i almost din leave my room. I refuse to die from a bombing!! I REFUSE!!! Im not going down that way man nah-uhhh!! Stupid terrorists! GROW UP! Im getting hysterical juz thinking abt it.. OMG.. i realli cant die this way.. :(

Heyyyy.. deepavali vaazhthukal! haha mannn this is when i miss home. I juz wanna go back for one day for deepavali n come back.. Miss the movie marathon on central the night b4.. wit some lame ass local variety show to usher in the festival.. miss prayers in the morning where my dad does the whole oil thing.. i miss the things that i do for deepavali every yr when i was back home. Heh it realli sucks being away at this time of the year. But i hafta admit my day turned out pretty ok. Went to Annalakshmi for dinner ( decked in some "jang" saree) n chilled for a bit.. i know it doesn't sound like much but it was pretty cool. Better than nothing i guess. Anyways im not realli in the mood to celebrate.. stressed abt upcoming exams.. hafta get back to studying now. 3 more wks.. i cant believe its come down to 3 more wks.. it still amazes me how time passes by so damn quickly over here. N for the millionth time im acknowledging that im prob in a state of denial.. i hate thinking abt leaving Currie.. i realli do love it here.. minus the food bit. Oh well.. its all part of growing up i guess. Speakin of growing up.. guess which of ya favourite girl's bdae's comin up reallllll sooonnnn :D hahah

K..gonna get back to da books n ilectures. Thank God for ilectures man.. they shud b compulsory for all units.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

its been a long time since ive posted updates on my life. Maybe its cuz nothing's been happening.. nothing interesting anyways. Its been a weird past couple of days.. depressing.. this weird annoying nagging feeling in me is not going away. I miss my friends. I miss my besties. I miss sho.. so much.. i need her right now.. right now when i feel like i'm losing so much.. and i need someone to talk too.. someone to turn too.. she's the only one who knows all the right things to say. Homesickness is the worst feeling ever.. cuz there's no cure. I wish i cud juz fly back now and see my girlz.. I think i'd be lost without them. The ones that r always there for me.. kaart - the nicest person in the whole world and an absolute sweetheart that i m so fond off.. malibu - my darling niece that surprises me with her affection at the most unexpected times.. sho- my total essential.. the one that i can pms on and mood swing with and she'd still be there for me at the end of it all backing me up. I dun think i realli ever tell em enough how much i love them.. how much i look up to them and admire them.. my inspirations. The ones that have saved me a countless times. The ones that make time for me n meet me no matter what they're doing when im depressed n need to talk to someone. I miss them lyk hell right now. Being alone realli is the worst feeling in the world. I guess my one consolation is that they're just a phone call away.. a phone call and three weeks away. I know that if they were here.. i'd b having one of the best birthdays ever..i remember my 20th birthday.. i had a quiet one watchin a movie n hangin wit sho in town.. n goin swensons for supper.. it was so low key.. but still so much fun.. juz me n ma shnowmie. I knoe i can always count on her for anything n everything. Shola.. ure amazing la.. ure always patiently hearing me whine abt paiyan.. and totally supportive.. i luff u. I cant wait to come back n chill laaa.. i juz wish ya'll were here.. i hate crappy birthdays.. i know its selfish but i on my bdae i want to be all abt me.. naturally. I make the plans .. n everyone else goes along with it. Isnt that the way it shud be? I wish ya'll were here for me to bully ya'll into doing something ridiculous for my bdae. I think im juz depressed cuz i know im gonna haf a crappy bdae.. its ok.. ya'll can make it up to me when i get back. I want a party.. ok.. juz da four of us.. Missin ya'll to itsy bits :(

next mood swing - 10 secs away.
loves the simple things in life like gucci shades and chanel bags, lazy lunches and sunday morning brunches. Late night suppers and saturday night dinners. Good food and great company. Little munchkin doggies and teenytiny kitties. Loves planning vacations i know i may never take.. and loves living the ones that i do. Pretty happy with the life that i've led so far and half-excited/half-dreading what is yet to come.