Archive for the ‘Email forwards’ Category

Here is an email that has been forwarded to me a couple of times. As I’m still working on last year’s school, I don’t foresee myself taking this just yet… but maybe someday. Or not?

Remember when grandparents and great-grandparents stated that they only had an 8th grade education? Well, check this out. Could any of us have passed the 8th grade in 1895?

This is the eighth-grade final exam from 1895 in Salina, Kansas , USA.. It was taken from the original document on file at the Smokey Valley Genealogical Society and Library in Salina , and reprinted by the Salina Journal.

8th Grade Final Exam: Salina , KS – 1895

Grammar (Time, one hour)1. Give nine rules for the use of capital letters.
2. Name the parts of speech and define those that have no modifications
3. Define verse, stanza and paragraph
4. What are the principal parts of a verb? Give principal parts of ‘lie,”play,’ and ‘run.’
5. Define case; illustrate each case.
6 What is punctuation? Give rules for principal marks of punctuation.
7 – 10. Write a composition of about 150 words and show therein that you understand the practical use of the rules of grammar.

Arithmetic (Time,1 hour 15 minutes)1. Name and define the Fundamental Rules of Arithmetic.
2. A wagon box is 2 ft. Deep, 10 feet long, and 3 ft. Wide. How many bushels of wheat will it hold? (oh look — a chicken!)
3. If a load of wheat weighs 3,942 lbs, what is it worth at 50cts/bushel, deducting 1,050 lbs. For tare?
4. District No 33 has a valuation of $35,000. What is the necessary levy to carry on a school seven months at $50 per month, and have $104 for incidentals?
5. Find the cost of 6,720 lbs. Coal at $6.00 per ton.
6. Find the interest of $512.60 for 8 months and 18 days at 7 percent.
7. What is the cost of 40 boards 12 inches wide and 16 ft.. Long at $20 per metre?
8.. Find bank discount on $300 for 90 days (no grace) at 10 percent.
9. What is the cost of a square farm at $15 per acre, the distance of which is 640 rods? (and now I have a headache)
10. Write a Bank Check, a Promissory Note, and a Receipt

U.S.History (Time, 45 minutes)1. Give the epochs into which U.S. History is divided.
2. Give an account of the discovery of America by Columbus.
3. Relate the causes and results of the Revolutionary War.
4. Show the territorial growth of the United States.
5. Tell what you can of the history of Kansas.
6. Describe three of the most prominent battles of the Rebellion.
7. Who were the following: Morse, Whitney, Fulton , Bell , Lincoln , Penn, and Howe?
8. Name events connected with the following dates: 1607, 1620, 1800, 1849, 1865.

Orthography (Time, one hour)
[Do we even know what this is??]
1. What is meant by the following: alphabet, phonetic, orthography, etymology, syllabication
2. What are elementary sounds? How classified?
3. What are the following, and give examples of each: trigraph, subvocals, diphthong, cognate letters, linguals
4. Give four substitutes for caret ‘u.’ (HUH?)
5. Give two rules for spelling words with final ‘e.’ Name two exceptions under each rule.
6. Give two uses of silent letters in spelling. Illustrate each.
7. Define the following prefixes and use in connection with a word: bi, dis-mis, pre, semi, post, non, inter, mono, sup.
8. Mark diacritically and divide into syllables the following, and name the sign that indicates the sound: card, ball, mercy, sir, odd, cell, rise, blood, fare, last…
9. Use the following correctly in sentences: cite, site, sight, fane, fain, feign, vane , vain, vein, raze, raise, rays.
10. Write 10 words frequently mispronounced and indicate pronunciation by use of diacritical marks
and by syllabication.

Geography (Time, one hour)1 What is climate? Upon what does climate depend?
2. How do you account for the extremes of climate in Kansas ?
3. Of what use are rivers? Of what use is the ocean?
4. Describe the mountains of North America
5. Name and describe the following: Monrovia , Odessa , Denver , Manitoba , Hecla , Yukon , St. Helena , Juan Fernandez, Aspinwall and Orinoco
6. Name and locate the principal trade centers of the U.S. Name all the republics of Europe and give the capital of each.
8. Why is the Atlantic Coast colder than the Pacific in the same latitude?
9. Describe the process by which the water of the ocean returns to the sources of rivers.
10. Describe the movements of the earth. Give the inclination of the earth.

Notice that the exam took FIVE HOURS to complete.

Gives the saying ‘he only had an 8th grade education’ a whole new meaning, doesn’t it?!

Also shows you how poor our education system has become and, NO, I don’t have the answers!

So… another email forward thing. I know, I really need to post about life. But seriously? I’m waiting ’til the right time. When I first started blogging, I could share my thoughts and they’d be funny or encouraging or whatever. But right now if I posted everything I’m thinking, my posts would be sad, depressing, complaining, and who knows what. So just hang in a little longer and don’t abandon me yet! I’ll come back to my old self someday. I hope.

Search your first name with the following verbs on google. Then type the first results/descriptions that come up.

So I got such a big kick out of this that I did it three times… and will probably do it again someday. Some of these are hilarious, others should be ignored, and if you have any questions about anything, let me know. LOL Some of it might sound weird. And I don’t want anyone getting the wrong impression!!!

RULES:
1. Put your iPod… or iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag at least 10 friends (including me so I can see your results).
5. Everyone tagged does the same thing.
6. Have Fun!

I really don’t know why I haven’t been blogging, but I’m going to try and get back into it. Even if I just post a bunch of crazy stuff. (email forwards, for example) I’m going to try and post at least once a week all through March. Hey! If I don’t have a goal, how can I expect things to work out?
So here’s the beginning of the emails:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present .

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. [Edit: Love how the smile code goes into effect and you don’t have an 8 here!]

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row .

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let’s face it – English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth, beeth?

One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?

Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. – Why doesn’t ‘Buick’ rhyme with ‘quick’

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this.

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is ‘UP’

It’s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wakeUP ? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ?

We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car . At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stirUP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP . We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP , look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don’t give UP , you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP .

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP .

When it doesn’t rain for awhile, things dry UP .

One could go on and on, but I’ll wrap it UP , for now my time is UP, so……….. it is time to shut UP!

Back to my life…

So… what’s happening for everybody? I’m not the only one who hasn’t been updating! Here’s what’s happened for me:

A couple of weeks ago was our Colorado Invitational Quiz Tournament. (Go here) Although the Woodside teams didn’t do as well as we would have liked, my sister came out as #11 quizzer in division one, and I was #5 quizzer in division two. CI was lots of fun, but I hope it’s never like that again. *sigh* The whole division two thing totally didn’t sit well with me. ‘Nuff said. [BTW, I don’t mind that I was on division two. It was my fault for not working harder, and I think I did better there anyhow. It’s other stuff that bothered – or bothers – me.]
Since the tournament was on my birthday, I didn’t do anything special that day other than have dinner and open presents. Would you believe it??? I got NO pictures from my birthday! (But the CI ones are here.) I got some really awesome presents and Mom made me chicken fajitas (one of my favorites!) and key lime pie. Ah… makes my mouth water just thinking about it!
To finish off my birthday celebrating, I had two of my ‘bestest’ friends over to watch the 2008 Sense and Sensibility (The best version!). We had Papa Murphey’s and Pizza Hut pizzas and chocolate chip cookies. And so my mouth waters all over again. hehe (Maddening truth: I got no pictures of this, either!) Anyhow, we had fun. Mom was laughing the next day because instead of staying up late talking, we all picked a book off of my shelf and just read late into the night! Three bookaholics… what do you expect, anyhow? 🙂
HIGHLIGHT OF THE WEEK!!!!!! We got the movie Fireproof in the mail on Monday! What an incredible movie! I really want to see it again, but I loaned it to somebody already. It was awesome. I mean AWESOME! Yeah, I cried. Not as much as I did in Facing the Giants, but I did cry. I think (though I’m not sure) that I would’ve cried more if I was married (or even loved a guy). LOL
Tonight is a farewell party for a family in our church. Mr. F is in the military, and they’re having to move on. It’s really sad to see them go.
I need to head off to practice my piano piece! I have to have it memorized for a competition in two weeks!

Thank you for your overwhelming response to my last post, everyone! (I’m kidding, of course.) I’ll be doing a post about my devotions soon! (That’s the one response I got) In the mean time, I don’t recall whether or not I ever posted this email forward, so here it is [again?]

After an exhaustive review of the research literature,here’s the final word on nutrition and health:1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than

Hey… I’m too hot and lazy to write something “real” right now, so here’s another of those emails that goes around! (And comes around…) [By the way, I don’t know for sure that these are real]

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet,” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ‘ pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away
from midget.

About Me

I'm a seventeen-year-old Christian girl from Colorado. I've been homeschooled my entire life and am hoping to graduate this year. I love reading, writing, history, piano, and movies. I hope you enjoy your visit to my blog and come again!