+1
I am happy to report a complete success.
I followed the new Test Procedure to the letter.
I have moved the notes on OpenSSL to the Troubleshooting guide:
http://wiki.apache.org/couchdb/Troubleshooting
If people run in to this problem, please direct them here.
If it becomes a big problem, we'll call it out from the downloads page.
I have added a small note to the README.Unix file mentioning this problem.