Starfire: I suggest a large pizza with pickles, bananas, and mint frosting.

Robin: [after a moment of awkward silence] Uh, Starfire, not everything on the menu is a pizza topping.

Starfire: Oh....

Cyborg: Double pepperoni!

Beast Boy: I'm not eating meat!

Cyborg: There's no meat in pepperoni!

Cyborg: Um... don't buses normally have drivers?

Robin: [picks up a teddy bear in the baby carriage they just saved from being smashed by a runaway bus] And don't baby carriages normally have babies?

Gizmo: [through the teddy bear, as it turns to look at Robin] Are you pit-sniffers normally this stupid?

Beast Boy: Is it me, or are we getting our butts kicked?

Robin & Raven: It's just you!

Jinx: [to Raven] You fight like a boy.

Beast Boy: That didn't just happen. [Beast Boy rubs his right thigh and Raven heals it.] Tell me that didn't just happen.

Raven: It did happen. We cannot change the truth, no matter how much we dislike it.

Beast Boy: Who knew we had a doctor in the house. Thanks...

Cyborg: (entering the scene) Maybe ya'll should call me Fly-borg. I was halfway to Gotham City before Star zapped that thing off my back. So what'd I miss? [Beast Boy look downcast and do not answer] Tell me how we kicked their butts. C'mon, I gotta have the play by play.

Beastboy: Hey! She only wanted to help! What is your problem?

Cyborg: [after being hacked into by Gizmo and losing his right arm] What do you think?! We got kicked out of our house, a pint-size Poindexter took me for a joyride, and in case you haven't noticed, I just became left-handed!

Raven: Enough! We need to control our emotions.

Cyborg: Or what?! Our bad vibes will keep you from meditating?!

Jinx: [going through Raven's clothes] Does she have anything that's not blue?

Beast Boy: NO! This is the worst thing that could ever happen! My tunes, they've been...alphabetized! How am I ever gonna find anything?!

Starfire: On my home planet, such explosions would mean the Gordanians were attacking. You are sure certain Earth is not under attack?

Robin: Positive. Cotton candy? [Offers some]

Starfire: The last time I ate a ball of cotton, it was white, and it did not taste very--

Robin: --this is different.

Starfire: [She eats some] Mmmm...oh! [Laughs] It vanished!

Robin: [Laughs] Yeah, it'll do that.

Beast Boy: Told you we'd win you a prize! [hands Raven a toy]

Raven: A giant chicken. I must be the luckiest girl in the world.

Blackfire: Beast Boy, what's up?!

Beast Boy: Nothing but the ceiling, baby.

Blackfire: [Laughing] Good one!

Beast Boy: [To Raven] See? She thinks I'm funny.

Raven: Stastically, I suppose someone has to.

Starfire: Might you wish to "hang out" with me? We could visit your favorite depressing cafe.

Raven: Already been. It was open mic and Blackfire wanted to share. Your sister's poetry is surprisingly dark.

Raven: This party is pointless. [Goth boy enters scene]

Goth Boy: Everything's pointless; wanna go talk about it?

Guy: Hey, hot alien girl. You diggin' the scene?

Starfire: I did not know we were supposed to bring shovels. [Everybody laughs at her]

Starfire: Everything is not wonderful. I am happy to see her, but Blackfire rules the video games, and she is able to share very depressing poems, and she knows the "cool moves", and she always knows when people are not talking about shovels!

Centauri 2: By the name of the Grand Centauri Empire, you are all under arrest. (pulls out a badge)

Beast Boy: Uh, you can't be the good guys. We're the good guys.

Centauri 2: And we are Centauri Police.

Centauri 1: The Tamaranean girl is a liar and a thief! (points to Starfire) She's commited high crimes throughout the entire Centauri system.

Starfire: I have never even been to the Centauri Moons.

Robin: But I know someone who has. (takes the necklace off Starfire, showing the gem Blackfire gave her earlier; Starfire gasps)(to the police) You've been chasing the wrong girl. (turns to the others) Where's Blackfire?

[Beast Boy crawls out as a spider from under a pile of rubble that seemingly fell on top of Starfire. Turns back into normal form]

Beast Boy: Star? Starfire? Where are you? (climbs down) Come on! Gimme a sign here! (He starts to dig.) You have to be all right, okay? 'Cause I--it was just a joke, you know? Back at the Tower, and...I'm sorry. I never said it, but I'm really, really sorry. It was supposed to be funny. And you could've been hurt, and... (softly) ...I'm a total clorbag. [A shadow comes over him. He looks over his shoulder] Huh?

[Cuts to Starfire standing behind him, a forgiving smile on her face]

Beast Boy: Starfire!

[Turns into kitten again and jumps into her arms]

Starfire: [Laughs] I am glad you are unharmed as well.

[Beast Boy takes normal form again and kneels before her]

Beast Boy: I am so sorry. You gotta forgive me.

Starfire: [Helping him up] I already have. Now those evil brothers must be made to apologize.

Beast Boy: I don't think they are evil. [Zoom in of his face] I think they're just like me.

Starfire: Raven? Please forgive my interruption, but have you seen Robin?

Raven: No.

Starfire: Oh. [turns to leave but stops] Perhaps you have seen Cyborg?

Starfire: Beast Boy?

Raven: My eyes are closed, Starfire. I haven't seen anyone.

Starfire: Perhaps we should do the hanging out? We never have before and conceivably it could be fun. We might journey to the mall of shopping, or perform braiding maneuvers upon each other's hair, or-- [Raven has visible black fire radiating from her head with a fierce grimace] --you wished to be left alone?

Beast Boy: [Sleeptalking] Ladies, please- one at a time. You'll all get to take a picture with me. [Kisses the socks in his hands]

(Starfire and Raven switched bodies):

Starfire: Oh Raven! This is awful, terribly, horribly awful!

Raven: Tell me about it.

Starfire: Very well. [She destroys everything she walks past as she gets more worked up]Robin, Cyborg and Beast Boy have been trapped inside tiny wooden bodies while a nasty creature called the Puppet King has taken control of their real bodies which he is using to hunt us down and you and I are in the wrong bodies and-!

Raven: Starfire! [more calmly] You have to calm down. My powers are driven by emotion. The more you feel, the more energy you unleash.

Starfire: What if they find us? What if our friends are doomed? What if I am stuck looking like this forever?! [head starts spinning then stops]

Raven: We'll fix it. I don't know how, but we will rescue the boys, and we will get our bodies back. [beat] What's wrong with the way I look?

Mad Mod: Why you're right where you belong my duckies! You're in school!(Mad Mod skids down stair railing) That's right lads, and lovies, you're the only students at Mad Mod's Institute for Braty Teenage Do-gooders!

Mad Mod: And it's 'bout time someone taught you sprogs a lesson!

Starfire: Now we need only to locate an exit.

Cyborg: Or just keep blastin' 'til we make one.

Robin: Easy, last thing I smashed tried to smash me back!

Starfire: [Trying to wake Beast Boy] Beast Boy? It is I, Starfire, your friend! Please, speak to me! [knocks on his head] Beast Boy! Beast Boy!. [Pauses and then takes a huge breath. Yelling at the top of her voice]BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSST BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY!!![Beast Boy doesn't wake]

Robin: [Nervously] Eh, Star, I don't think that's working.

Cyborg:[Burps loudly]

Beast Boy:[Wakes up, laughs] Nice one!...Uh, how did I get here and why am I covered in drool?

Cyborg: Make him laugh!

Starfire: [To Beast Boy] How many okarins does it take to hogie a morflark?...Fimbar!

Robin: School's out, and you're looking at about 20 years of detention.

Starfire: [Puts down a hypnotized Beast Boy] I cannot awaken Beast Boy. I have tried the tickling, all manners of bodily noises, and the word "underpants". I fear that this time his brain is gone forever!

Raven: Beast Boy had a brain?

Beast Boy: [Wakes up, laughs] Ha ha!! Good one!! [Stops, glares] Dude, that's not funny! I totally have a brain! I just don't use it much...

Slade: For some time now, I have been searching for... an apprentice. Someone to follow in my footsteps. And Robin, I've chosen you. Congratulations.

Robin: No way would I ever work for-

[Slade shows Robin the kill switch]

Slade: If you join me... if you swear to serve me... if you never speak to your friends again... I will allow them to live. But... if you disobey even the smallest request... I will annihilate them, Robin - and I will make you watch. So, do we have a deal?

Beast Boy: The way I see it, there are only two logical explainations. One: [Holds up comic book with a robot dressed as Robin on cover] he's been replaced with an evil robot duplicate. Two: [Flips to frame with a zombie Robin] he's another innocent victim of zombie mind control.

Beast Boy: That's not Slade... That's...

Starfire: Robin...

Slade: You're going to keep stealing, Robin. And you're going to keep getting that thrill. And sooner or later, you will see things my way. Who knows? I might even become like a father to you.

Cyborg: She did? How'd she take the curves 'cause, Y'know, I've been working on the suspension, and-d-d-d-d-- Don't try to distract me! Who has her now?

Cyborg: What are you doing here?

Cyborg: Might as well stop looking. T-Car’s probably halfway to Metropolis by now... from the day I designed her, I knew she was gonna be special. And I work so hard every fuel injector every spark plug. I made her perfect. I put my heart, my soul, and my circuits into this car. And now she's gone forever. Maybe you were right, maybe it was just a car.

Raven: It wasn't just a car, it was... your "baby".

Cyborg: Yeah. Thanks, Rae.

Cyborg: [Sees Gizmo drive off in his car; About Gizmo] He'll get ketchup on the seats!