while HmX will not be revived, I have decided to host a server that runs the same setup as HmX's DeathRun server, to give back to the amazing friends who have helped me so much throughout the years, and as a gesture of appreciation to the HmX members.

The server already runs the same plugins (including bhop), configuration and maps as the HmX one, but it's still being worked on so a few bits might be missing.

The reason for the sudden downtime of the servers is a hardware failure on the server, which is non-critical as the original setup might be restored... but it won't be.

Over the past month I have been depressed and sometimes even suicidal, and the main reason for this (as some of you might know) has been my girlfriend leaving me.As ashamed as I am to admit it, it has affected me far more than any other event in my life ever has. I am still unsure over why this happened, and never expected nor wanted it to happen.The past month has been filled with suffering and depression, as much as I tried to cope with everything else in my life still being seemingly normal (exams, work, holidays...) I can't bring myself to just forget, because for the second time in my life I've been scared of someone, paranoid and overall broken.This is not a money issue, and it never was. I now work two jobs (which I had gotten thanks to her motivation) and make more than I ever have in the past, enough to cover the costs of my current holiday. While donations did not even remotely cover the cost of HmX for the past 5 years (monthly total would be around 130 euros/mo) I was happy to pay the bills and enjoy the community members having fun in the servers I created for them.Videogames, as of now, make me sick. As much as I'd like to admit to something else, like being tired of running servers, or bothered by the constant admin reports, or any other excuse I could possibly think of, the real reason is that ever since that day (one month ago now) I have been unable to enjoy videogames as I used to, and over the past weeks mild annoyance has turned into actual physical sickness, to the point I am now unable to play games like Team Fortress 2 or Left 4 Dead 2 without feeling sick. Steam itself is now something I try to avoid.The reason for all of this, as I've said, has been my girlfriend leaving me, an event that has caused me extreme pain, sadness and a lot of truly frightening thoughts.

I beg those of you that know who I'm talking about NOT to take it out on her, nor harass her: it was her decision to leave me and I will respect it, as much pain as it's caused and is causing me, and as much as I never wanted nor expected it to happen.I am simply unable to find the motivation to keep the community and the servers going, and the unexpected hardware failure on the server has forced me to call it a day sooner than I had hoped.

Premium users are advised to cancel their premium subscriptions through PayPal. Those of you who have active premium subscriptions and wish to ask for a refund will receive it as soon as I'm able to process your requests (I'm currently on holiday).

I want to thank all members, admins and staff, present and past, from the bottom of my heart: you all have helped build HmX and make it an experience none of us will ever forget.

HmX has helped me grow both as a person and in my profession, as I was able to acquire skills (particularly in coding) which I wouldn't have been able to without the motivation of such an amazing community.

Special thanks go to the original staff team and the current one: you all are truly amazing friends who have helped me more than I will ever be able to help you, and for that you have my eternal gratitude.

The past five years have been truly amazing, and we've managed to reach incredible achievements for such a small community: our DeathRun server was 4th worldwide at one point, and 6th just a few days ago, and we also implemented new software and maps never seen before on Team Fortress 2!