Antarctic Nursing, Chapter 12

Things to remember when dealing with a patient suffering from an acute case of Killer-Whale-On-Head (KWOH):

- If taking patient’s weight, be sure to subtract 9 tons from the number on the scale.

- KWOH is not genetic, although it is particularly common in patients diagnosed with Intense Sea-Life Provocation Syndrome (ISLPS).

- KWOH can have serious debilitating effects on the patient’s body. Keep this in mind when asking the patient to do things, as many seemingly simple tasks may be impossible. For example it would be inappropriate to ask a KWOH patient to sit down, or duck through a doorway, or take that giant whale off his or her head.

- It can be frustrating to deal with KWOH sufferers, especially because it is nearly impossible to hear what they’re saying through all that whale. However, it’s important to remain polite and courteous at all times, because the patient most likely did not ask for a whale to latch on to his or her head, and therefore is just as frustrated as you are.

- However, if it is discovered that a patient has asked for the whale to latch on to her head, don’t worry about being polite and courteous, because you’re dealing with a sick and terrible person.

Wear this shirt: if being a flightless bird who’s been attacked by a toothed member of the oceanic dolphin family seems like an apt metaphor for your life.

Don’t wear this shirt: because some over-sensitive penguin-hugger might see it and start to blubber.

Quantity Breakdown

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

Percentage of Sales Per Day

5%

7%

4%

72%

5%

3%

4%

Mon

Tue

Wed

Thu

Fri

Sat

Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

What are Top Comments?

Top Comments are discussion forum posts we have deemed worthy of your time. Listen, we get a lot of comments, and most of the time, it's pretty forgettable stuff; but sometimes you rise to the top like butterfat in milk.
We don't recommend you base your self-worth on how often we feature your comments, but we don't expressly forbid it either.

Woot.com is operated by Woot Services LLC.
Products on Woot.com are sold by Woot, Inc., other than items on Wine.Woot which are sold by the seller specified on the product detail page.
Product narratives are for entertainment purposes and frequently employ
literary point of view;
the narratives do not express Woot's editorial opinion.
Aside from literary abuse, your use of this site also subjects you to Woot's
terms of use
and
privacy policy.
Woot may designate a user comment as a Quality Post, but that doesn't mean we agree with or guarantee anything said or linked to in that post.