Category Archives: My Little Big Baby

L is nearly two and a half. She isnt potty trained, and is still semi attatched to the soother. Ive began taking her meth soother away during the day again (We tried this once and I decided ZOMGshesoisntreadyforthisyet and popped it back in). She falls asleep with it, but doesn’t use it all night. I’m not pushing the soother thing to the extreme as this kid has um, spirit, as my mother calls it, and I’ve learned to pick my battles. The end of the suckie is near, though, because we don’t need any Snaggletooth’s in the family. Maybe we can donate the soother to another child, like what some rocket scientists suggest. Anyone want a 2011 previously owned Gerber chewed-on, sucked-on pacifier that smells of toddler breath and pepperoni stick, contact me immediately. This premium deal will not last long.

She is just now taking an interest in the potty after getting over the initial “this is a little chair!” novelty factor and I’m hoping this could soon mean the end of diapers, wipes and butt cream. I’ve mentioned we can go pick out some Tinkerbell underwear when she goes in the potty, and perhaps it isnt right to bribe someone with shopping but that’s totally what the parenting books say is a logical way to get to her defecate in the toilet. I’m drawing the line at bribing her with candy to go to the can because to this day I cannot go to the bathroom without a bag of Cheetos and M&M’s.

I’m excited to watch her grow up but as new milestones approach it’s another slap in the face that she really is not a baby anymore, and I’m going to have to start using phrases like “big girl bed” and “big girl panties” and “mommy needs a big girl drink with adult juice”.

So, Lily is passed out beside me as I type this. In our bed. Hogging my body pillow that I can’t sleep without, that I sleep with every night since I became pregnant with Lily. I kinda want to pull it out from under her head. I totally would if it was Dustin hogging it. That’s how I roll.

The “sleep, and stay asleep in your own bed” thing isn’t really working out for us.
The thing is, I love sleep. And I can’t sleep when she’s screaming MOMMYS BED at two am. Which results in either Dustin or I lifting her up and putting her inbetween us when she comes half sleep walking into our room.
It doesn’t help that she is warm and cuddly, and that her hair smells so good. I sniff her a lot.

She will nap in her own bed.
But like clock work, everynight around midnight, she’s up and wants to be in our bed.

I fear she will be sleeping inbetween us at age nineteen, and ill still be smushed up against the wall with a foot in my back. By then ill probably have a permanent foot indent mark.

“Oh that? That’s just my disfigured back because I’m a shit parent who can’t figure out why my kid won’t stay in her own bed.”

Ill probably get a humpback and be forced to live in a tower.

Hopefully Lily will still want to cuddle me then….

Following photo taken after she rolled over and before I snatched my rightful body pillow away from her.

The approach we are taking with potty training is pretty slack. We purchased a potty (Which is the dumbest word) a couple of months ago, and she peed 2 drops in it once. Sometimes, we would try to get her to sit on the potty before her baths, but she never really wanted anything to do with it. I did not want to make a huge deal of it since she was still pretty young and we had plenty of time. I also did not feel like traumatizing her and possibly giving her a complex and making my daughter the next serial killer.
Lately, she has been wanting to go on the potty by herself. I will be changing her diapers and she will run half-naked to the can shouting “GO PEE!” And she will gladly sit on her little toilet. Always willing to sit, but nothing ever comes out. She doesnt want to sit there for longer than 2 minutes, no matter how many books I give her or song we try to sing, and the duct tape isn’t strong enough to hold her down anymore. Maybe like, I should, like, read like, a potty like training slash like parenting book, like.

She loves Daddy’s bike magazines.

UPDATE I wrote this post while she was napping. When I went into her room after she woken up, she was holding out her pants to me saying “Pants! pants!” I then realized she had also taken her diaper off, and peed on her pillow. Overall, a very pleasant experience.

Sometimes when I go into Lily’s room to get her out of her crib after a sleep, she sleepily mumbles “Baby I like it!” You know, like the Enrique Iglesias song that is played everywhere, all the time, non stop, on repeat.
She loves when the garbage truck comes, and will sometimes look forlornly out the window saying “Garbage truck” wistfully.
She loves books. That isn’t new, but she is becoming even more engrossed with books.
We are learning our ABC’s and 123’s. She likes to count the little potted plants on the windowsill. So far, she can make it to four. Einstein, right?
Lily is starting to enjoy being cuddled. So the kid DOES love us!
She likes to put on her Dad’s shoes and try to dance. And also shut herself in the small, glass-door enclosed front porch trying on all my boots, shoes and sandals.Anybody want to look at 369893 photos of this?

Happy Halloween!
So far I have consumed roughly ten pounds of sugar and about 9 cups of coffee, while skipping breakfast, lunch and supper. I’m not sure whether I feel like vibrating across the room, shitting my pants, passing out or making a candy corn martini.

Today marks the day when you purchase candy and chocolate for complete fucking strangers and then close the door hoping they dont come by and smash your car or egg your windows later on.
It’s true. I’m not bitter. And I’m especially excited this year because I have a Tupperware bowl full of leftover Jersey Milk mini bars. Not including Lillienne’s haul.
This was her second Halloween but the first time we went trick or treating. She was a bumblebee and I found the costume at Old Navy (because I am completely fricken’ orignal, duh). I didn’t have any face paint (only paint that stained her face) and couldn’t find my pastels so I used my black MAC eyeliner and she was a bee with a cute black dot on her nose. We only went to about ten houses but she managed to score WAY more candy than an almost two-year old should be allowed to carry around.
AND WTF is up with all the awesome Halloween goodies? When I was a kid getting chocolate bars in your stash was like winning the lottery. I remember getting rockets and rock-hard miniature gum balls and those gross toffee/caramel/shit flavoured candies that came in the orange and black wrappers. Now people give away toys. Full chocolate bars. Miniature bags of chips. Cans of POP. Why stop there? How about socks for my kid? A new DVD? Some soup and crackers?
I enjoyed taking Lily trick or treating. I love feeling her small, warm hand in my palm or her teeny fingers clutched around my thumb.

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I'm Sarah, and this is my blog. I write about everything and anything, so if reading about explosive shitty diapers, 321798 way to make chicken and me generally doing my thang isn't your cup of tea, ye be warned. I enjoy carbohydrates, swearing, photography, and peace on Earth- goodwill to men.