Monday, January 23, 2017

Bigly Hands Make False Maps

Today the unpatriotic Cartonerd released a visualization of the number of people who demonstrated around the world in the so-called Women's March. Cartonerd is one of the most despicable mapographers on Earth. His visualization is intentionally mapped in a way to maximize the enormous support that gathered in marches around the world and to draw attention from the enormous support the President has from ordinary American billionaires.

The President would like to point out some of the errors in the Bigly Hands Women's March 2017 map. Firstly no one can count numbers that big. As you can see from the map the President has the biggest hands. Bigger in fact than the whole crime infested city of Atlanta The biggest hands with the most fingers and even he can't count numbers that high. The President has the biggest numbers.

Thirdly, these attempts to heighten the size of the demonstrations are shameful and wrong. As you know on Saturday the President spent his first night in the White House. There were at least two people present. Far more than those who attended the unfriendly Women's Marches. The President's billionaire friends were ecstatic that he's now in the White House, and he delivered them a powerful and important message. He told them he has their back, and they were grateful for that. They gave him a five-minute standing ovation at the end in a display of their patriotism and their enthusiasm for his presidency.

Tenthly, as you can see from this Carto powered map of the Women's Marches around the world their weren't any bigly hands demonstrating against the President at all. This Carto made map in fact claims that the word was invaded by yuge pink circles. Nobody has more respect for yuge pink circles than President Trump, nobody.

The American people deserve better. And as long as he serves as the messenger for this incredible movement, the President will take his message directly to American billionaires where his focus will always be. The President has therefore decided to release his own alternative map. The President makes the best maps. And, as you can see from the President't map, there were no Women's Marches anywhere in the world on Saturday. The President promises all American billionaires that during his ten year term of office he will continue to present you with the best alternative maps and the best alternative facts.