A few quick rejections can be the start of big-time success

Hi
Harlan, I've been following your advice and putting myself out there. I've
asked a few new guys who I don't know very well to date functions in hopes of
just meeting them and getting to know more people. However, because they are
people I don't know super well, I keep getting rejected, even though it's
always very casual when I ask. Is it something I am doing, or is it guys not
wanting to go to a date party with someone they don't know well? I just wanted
advice, because I keep trying and nothing is helping!– Amanda

Dear Amanda: It's working. I know you can't tell, but
it's definitely working. The goal is letting these guys know that you are
interested in being more than friends. The next step is to be friendly and get
to know them better. You can even tell them you didn't mean to make them
uncomfortable, but thought it would be a nice way to get to know them better.
You can even find out the reason they were reluctant to go the date party – as
far as you know, these guys are gay, in a relationship or afraid of being
awkward at an event where they don't know anyone in the room. Build a
friendship based on rejection. Shocking. I know. When these guys have an event
in the future, need a date or see you out at a party, you'll be someone
familiar. Keep making it easy for men to find you and good things will happen.
Give it a year or six months and write back. In the meantime, share your
experiences by visiting www.GettingNakedExperiment.com.

Dear
Harlan: "I know men fear rejection, but it's no fun for us confident women,
either! Being told "You're too pretty, men are scared of you!" is just plain
silly. A confident man would approach. Maybe there aren't that many confident
men in my city! Help me out here.– Sally

Dear Sally: Confident men don't like to come off as
creepy. That's why they don't approach you. The more attractive and
self-assured the woman, the harder it can be for confident men to do the
approaching. They know you've been hit on by all the wrong men and don't want
to fall into the same category. And that's why women need to make it easy for
men to approach them (reminder: making it easy isn't the same as being easy).
It's making it clear that if a man wants to approach you, his interest is
welcome. For example, putting up a profile on an online dating site makes you
safe to approach. Showing a man attention by taking an interest in his life,
giving him your number, contacting him on Facebook, or suggesting dinner or
drinks if he's interested makes it safe to approach you. This doesn't mean you
should do the asking. You are just clearing the path for him. A confident man
will approach you once the path is cleared. A married, gay, uninterested or
insecure man will not approach you. All you can do is remove the creep factor.
If you don't like this advice, then you probably don't like rejection. Making
it safe for a man do the approaching can be too dangerous for beautiful women
who are afraid of rejection. Harlan
Cohen 2012. Distributed by King Features Syndicate Inc.