WWKD — What Would Kylie Do?
An extremely pregnant Kim is feeling “uncool.” She starts stalking little sister Kylie’s fashion-centric Tumblr page for some inspiration, but quickly gets upset when she realizes that her youngest sibling has been posting far fewer photos of Kim and Kanye ever since Kim became pregnant. “I want Kylie to remember that I have cool style and cool taste,” Kim muses. Unfortunately, Kimmy takes her adoration a little too far and starts getting on everyone’s nerves — including Kylie’s, who starts ignoring her incessant text messages and phone calls.

“The most annoying thing is that Kim acts like my blog is like Vogue magazine or something. I’m over it,” Kylie says. Kim’s obsession doesn’t last long when she stumbles upon a photo of Kylie at a movie premiere wearing Kim’s “brand new Lanvin shoes”… without even asking! Trouble is on the horizon.

Kim confronts Kylie about having the time to steal her clothes, but not answer her texts. Kylie literally could not care less and blows Kim off, which just infuriates the mom-to-be even more… but she tries to play cool. “Why should I even care? I’ve been a stylist for years, way before Kylie even knew anything about fashion,” Kim fumes. Because, obviously, competing with your 15-year-old sister is a totally normal, mature reaction.

Kylie Jenner (Photo: E!)

Kim decides to punish Kylie for stealing her clothes (cough, cough ignoring her), and storms into her closet to confiscate any other items. “If I’m not good enough for her Tumblr, that she’s not good enough for my clothes,” Kim says. Mature. Kim walks out of Kylie’s closet with a pile of clothes that no longer fit her, but at least she is vindicated!

“Hi Auntie Kris, It’s Todd Kraines!”
Kim, Kourtney Kardashian, and Khloe Kardashian beg Scott Disick to pose as longtime family friend Todd Kraines and call up Kris, a prank they have been pulling for months. Scott is getting tired of the gig… but not because he feels bad for Kris. “All I want to do is just tell Kris. The girls are using me as a puppet every time they see me,” Scott says. “To be honest, it’s become time consuming and it’s a job for me. And we all know the Lord does not like to work.” Of course he doesn’t.

Luckily for Scott, the girls don’t pressure him too hard and decide to reveal the true voice behind the creepy phone calls Kris has been receiving. They arrange to have the real Todd Kraines pay Kris a visit and freak her out one last time. The whole family is in on the joke and gathers at the Jenner household in anticipation of the real Todd’s arrival. Kris goes ballistic when Kourtney tells her that Todd is outside the gate to visit. “What if it’s the [expletive deleted] fake Todd Kraines!,” Kris screams.

Despite her objections and fears that an axe murderer is at their house, Kris opens the front door. She is baffled to find the real Todd Kraines, who she has known for decades, standing outside. The whole clan cracks up and spills the entire story. Shockingly, Kris isn’t angry. “These kids are nuts. To play a prank on somebody is one thing, but to play it out for months knowing how terrified I was at times. I don’t know whether to kiss or kill them,” she says. And so ends the prank saga. Rest in peace Todd Kraines.

Ester & Leah Jenner (Photo: E!)

Another Day, Another Jenner Kris Doesn’t Get Along With
Surprise, surprise. Kris doesn’t get along with her Jenner stepson OR her Jenner mother-in-law. It is revealed that Kris and Bruce’s 87-year-old mom Ester (“She has really short hair and smokes everyday,” description courtesy of Leah Jenner), haven’t had a relationship in over 20 years. Bruce learns that his mom’s third husband just passed away and her birthday is just around the corner, so he tries to convince Kris to head out to Idaho with him for a visit.

As usual, Kris doesn’t know if she can fit the trip into her schedule, but quickly reveals the real reason behind her hesitation. “She doesn’t even like me,” Kris cries. “Why would I go visit someone who can’t stand me? Why would I do that?” Maybe because it is the decent thing to do? Just sayin’. Bruce tries out his new assertive attitude and immediately backs down, agreeing to bring his elderly mother thousands of miles away from her home so Kris is comfortable. Good work Bruiser, stand your ground.

Sadly, even with Bruce’s compromise, Kris can’t commit to anything. “I’m not quite so sure about my schedule and I’ll do my best to be around,” she says. She makes it so difficult sometimes, honestly. After dragging her feet and comparing her relationship with the late Robert Kardashian‘s parents to her currently relationship with Bruce’s mom — because heaven forbid she doesn’t compare her ex-husband to her current husband every single episode — Kris finally agrees to host Ester at their home.

Bruce picks up his mom from the airport and confronts her about her distant relationship with Kris over the years. Esther, visibly uncomfortable, immediately says her mouth is dry and she needs a drink. Obviously Kris and Ester have more in common than they think. Luckily, the dinner party goes off without a hitch, but Kris and Esther never get a chance to talk privately. Bruce brings his mom over the next morning and leaves the two ladies alone for a heart-to-heart. Esther apologizes to Kris for staying away for so long, admitting that she should be more involved because this is Bruce’s “longest marriage” yet. Kris cries and thanks Ester for finally realizing how important she is to Bruce’s life. Baby steps.

Quote of the Week: “I hate that my face is so fat that when I smile it looks like I’ve had so much Botox.” —Kim Kardashian. Ah, the joys of pregnancy.

Next Week: Kim serves the family placenta pasta. That’s all you really need to know.