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Greg Thomson

(By Greg Thomson) An FA campaign is under way to bring football back to the common folk who helped popularise it. Co-Executive of the FA, Lord Lucan, is fronting the project which will aim to ‘bring football back to ordinary chaps’. The aristocrat insists he is determined to put a …

(By Greg Thomson) Leaked NSA documents have revealed that former Arsenal player, Andrey Arshavin, was actually a Russian Spy. Arshavin, code-name ‘Red Fox’, was the brainchild of Kremlin chief Sergei Rachmaninoff, who funded his agent’s training as a footballer, and pulled strings to include him in the Zenit St. Petersburg …

(By Greg Thomson) DIRECTOR of football Joe Kinnear is believed to be encouraging the Newcastle players to take up smoking. Kinnear is devoted to his old school methods and firmly believes that the team who smokes together, wins together. Head scout Graham Carr has confirmed the former Wimbledon boss is a …

(By Greg Thomson) MANCHESTER United manager David Moyes has vowed to convert all of his players and staff to Christianity. The former Everton man is known for his religious beliefs and sees it as high time he spread the lord’s good word. The move has been met with uncertainty within …

(By Greg Thomson) FOOTBALLERS now prefer playing games on the computer to actual real life matches, the results of a recent study have shown. The study sampled varied levels of the football world from across the globe, with English players appearing the most eager to hang up their boots and …

(By Greg Thomson) IT has been confirmed that the reason for football players’ dullness and their bland personalities is the spread of the virulent European Oak disease. The disease renders its victims wooden and almost lifeless, leaving them with only the ability to play football and type things on twitter. …

(By Greg Thomson) Sir Alex Ferguson has been spotted roaming famous battle grounds in his traditional Scottish ceremonial dress. Dog walkers in Stirling reported an old man in a kilt strolling the famous battlefields and shouting instructions to unseen persons. It was confirmed to be Sir Alex after a Man …