Kelli Nelson – What The Flicka?http://whattheflicka.com
Tue, 06 Dec 2016 00:26:21 +0000en-UShourly1https://wordpress.org/?v=4.6.1Empower One Girl And She’ll Change The Worldhttp://whattheflicka.com/empower-one-girl-shell-change-world/
http://whattheflicka.com/empower-one-girl-shell-change-world/#respondFri, 18 Jul 2014 07:01:37 +0000http://whattheflicka.com/?p=19297When I found out during week 20 of my second pregnancy that I was having a girl, I was over the moon. I remember repeating over and over to myself, “I’m going to have a daughter.” And during the first four years of my daughter’s life, I often found myself repeating, still amazed, “I have a […]

]]>When I found out during week 20 of my second pregnancy that I was having a girl, I was over the moon. I remember repeating over and over to myself, “I’m going to have a daughter.” And during the first four years of my daughter’s life, I often found myself repeating, still amazed, “I have a daughter.”

As I write this, she sits on the floor dipping a corndog in ketchup while dressed to the nines in her Little Mermaid garb–-including the red wig. I look at her and revel in awe. She realizes I’m staring and says, “I love you, King Triton.” My heart swells and I reply, “I love you more, Ariel.”

Like you all, I too have many dreams for my daughter. She’s just 4 but already I dream about the life-long possibilities in front of her. I dream of the day we celebrate her college graduation. I envision her in many roles as an educated adult. Renowned concert pianist. Accomplished brain surgeon. Prima ballerina assoluta. Brilliant teacher. CEO. Philanthropist. Successful entrepreneur. Loving mother. Leader of the free world.

When my daughter asks me what she will be when she grows up, I can confidently tell her the sky is the limit and there will be no glass ceilings to break.

]]>http://whattheflicka.com/empower-one-girl-shell-change-world/feed/0The Battle for Equalityhttp://whattheflicka.com/battle-equality/
http://whattheflicka.com/battle-equality/#respondMon, 14 Jul 2014 07:01:42 +0000http://whattheflicka.com/?p=19096I’ve fought most of my life in the battle of equality (in various forms) for women. I grew up watching my mom fight, and we both continue to fight on behalf of my 5 year-old daughter. I spent the better part of my adult life working harder, longer, and more effectively than men, in a […]

]]>I’ve fought most of my life in the battle of equality (in various forms) for women. I grew up watching my mom fight, and we both continue to fight on behalf of my 5 year-old daughter.

I spent the better part of my adult life working harder, longer, and more effectively than men, in a corporate world dominated by men. I’ve removed myself from not one, but two oppressive marriages where feminine submission was a requirement. I have voted against U.S. Presidential Candidates who didn’t fully support women’s rights.

“I am no bird, and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”― Charlotte Brontë

I hate the term ‘women’s rights’ — isn’t it human rights we’re really talking about? The apparent need to distinguish between what is right for women and what is right for human beings infuriates me.

]]>http://whattheflicka.com/battle-equality/feed/05 Easy Ways to Use Up Those End-Of-Season Tomatoeshttp://whattheflicka.com/friday-5-tomatoes/
http://whattheflicka.com/friday-5-tomatoes/#respondFri, 18 Oct 2013 17:00:54 +0000http://whattheflicka.com/?p=13315Have you been thinking about what to do with those end-of-season tomatoes, but not into the canning thing? Tired of BLT’s? Me too. Canning and intense sauce making is not for me, but still there’s nothing better than mom’s garden fresh tomatoes so I couldn’t resist this week when she offered to share her last […]

]]>Have you been thinking about what to do with those end-of-season tomatoes, but not into the canning thing? Tired of BLT’s? Me too. Canning and intense sauce making is not for me, but still there’s nothing better than mom’s garden fresh tomatoes so I couldn’t resist this week when she offered to share her last harvest.

Here are 5 easy ways for the undomesticated to extend the summer fresh garden tomato season:

1 Make fresh salsa. Throw a batch of salsa together in the blink of an eye—no recipe needed. Core and dice 2 or 3 ripe tomatoes. Add diced onions and jalapenos (seeds removed) to taste, squeeze the juice of a couple of limes, and mix in 2 or 3 tablespoons of chopped cilantro. Salt to taste.

2 Grill ‘em. Again, no recipe necessary. Slice tomatoes in half and drizzle with olive oil or Italian dressing. Grill them for several minutes topped with fresh herbs, minced garlic, or even shredded mozzarella cheese. Salt and pepper to taste.

5 Dry ‘em. I love sun-dried tomatoes, but they are challenging to find in my area, and I’ve always imagined it to be a difficult DIY. If you have the same dilemma, you are going to love Whole New Mom’s Easiest Homemade Sun-Dried Tomatoes. Can’t wait to taste mine!

]]>http://whattheflicka.com/friday-5-tomatoes/feed/05 Reasons To Read The White Queen Bookshttp://whattheflicka.com/the-white-queen/
http://whattheflicka.com/the-white-queen/#respondFri, 11 Oct 2013 12:00:54 +0000http://whattheflicka.com/?p=13175It can’t be helped; I’m another Game of Thrones junkie. While many of us wait impatiently for more of the Starks and Lannisters, Starz (BBC) has introduced something that may tide us over until HBO releases the next season of Thrones. The White Queen is a 10-hour mini-series event based on three historical fiction novels […]

]]>It can’t be helped; I’m another Game of Thrones junkie. While many of us wait impatiently for more of the Starks and Lannisters, Starz (BBC) has introduced something that may tide us over until HBO releases the next season of Thrones.

The White Queen is a 10-hour mini-series event based on three historical fiction novels written by Philippa Gregory. The storyline gives us a look into England’s infamous 30-year Cousins’ War of the 15th century, as perceived by three women from rival houses fighting for the throne.

If you haven’t watched the series, I recommend reading the books first. If you’ve been watching the Starz television series and like it, do read the books. Here are 5 reasons you will benefit from reading The White Queen, The Red Queen, and The Kingmaker’s Daughter:

1. Each of the three books cover the same timeline, so you are treated to full and very different perspectives from the three leading protagonists; respectively Elizabeth Woodville, Margaret Beaufort, and Anne Neville.

2. If you’re particular about accurate timelines, the condensed “War of the Roses” storyline in the television series might drive you a little crazy. The episodes seem unfocused and confusing at times, but Gregory cites the chronology beautifully in her books.

3. The books provide a lot of necessary detail to understand much of the political maneuverings by the Houses of York and Lancaster.

4. I adore the romanticized love affair between Edward IV and Elizabeth Woodville, so seeing the king absolutely enjoy his cheating in the television series crushed me a bit. In order to preserve the great love story when reading the novels, we get to choose to identify Edward’s whoring as the norm for that time period. We could reason (but certainly not condone) that because Elizabeth was pregnant nearly every year for like 1,000 years, and women of that time were not permitted to have sex during pregnancy, it was sort of, kind of okay.

5. There’s more valuable back-story of King Edward’s brothers in the books. The broad, thorny story of crazy George Plantagenet itself is worth the time spent on the books.

Each book is written primarily in first person as if the dominant female character is telling her own story, and all three books are easy, fast-moving reads.

]]>http://whattheflicka.com/the-white-queen/feed/05 Drop-Off Moms You Will Meet At Schoolhttp://whattheflicka.com/5-drop-off-moms-you-will-meet-at-school/
http://whattheflicka.com/5-drop-off-moms-you-will-meet-at-school/#commentsSat, 07 Sep 2013 01:00:57 +0000http://whattheflicka.com/?p=12524After just three days of school for my new kindergartener, I am noticing a clear difference in the characteristics of my fellow drop-off moms. Drop-off moms are those parents who either drive or walk their children to school each day. I’ve noticed a few others, but here are my five favorites for now: 1. The […]

]]>After just three days of school for my new kindergartener, I am noticing a clear difference in the characteristics of my fellow drop-off moms. Drop-off moms are those parents who either drive or walk their children to school each day. I’ve noticed a few others, but here are my five favorites for now:

1. The Mom Who Doesn’t Get Out of The Car
Most often a working mom who believes she’s busier than all the rest. She stops briefly at the curb, and her children promptly jump out to rush to the school entrance. When you meet her at school functions, she’s super nice but moves quickly through conversations.

2. The Athletic-Looking Mom
Though this stay-at-home mom wears workout attire each morning, she looks perfectly polished and seems a bit calmer than others. Sometimes she will join a conversation, but most often she seems preoccupied with her kids’ behavior and calculating how much she’ll fit into her day before she needs to head back to pick them up. Don’t be fooled; they’re not all athletic—it’s very easy to fall in love with yoga pants.

3. The Friends-Making Mom
This mom talks to everyone. She talks to anyone who will listen, and it’s difficult to excuse yourself from her conversations. She’s usually outside the school until the bell rings, and then she hangs out inside (even when her children are old enough to find their way). If you’re not feeling particularly talkative, be sure not to make eye contact. Friends-Making Mom will follow you through the school hallways to finish her conversation, and make strong suggestions for coffee dates or play dates. Finding friends is her only goal; otherwise her children would ride the bus to school.

4. The Fur Mom
She loves her fur babies nearly as much as her children, and there’s always a dog with her. Sometimes she parks and stays in the car while kids and moms stop by to say hello. Sometimes she and her fur baby walk her children to the school entrance, and they all receive a lot of attention. The Fur Mom is usually friendly and very approachable.

5. The Daddy Mom
There are two types of Daddy Moms. The first is the tall, handsome, often younger guy with beautiful, shy daughters. He doesn’t talk much. You can’t see it, but you know there is an invisible short leash attached to him. The second is the short, often balding guy with the sunny personality. He’s sure to get to school early, so he has plenty of time to socialize. We laugh at his jokes while his sons stand quietly praying for the bell to ring.

I confess to fall into The Athletic-Looking Mom category, and I note a very strong emphasis on the “-Looking” part in my case. So, parents, which Drop-Off Mom are you?

]]>http://whattheflicka.com/5-drop-off-moms-you-will-meet-at-school/feed/65 Ways To Keep From Crying On The First Day Of Schoolhttp://whattheflicka.com/5-ways-to-keep-from-crying-on-the-first-day-of-school/
http://whattheflicka.com/5-ways-to-keep-from-crying-on-the-first-day-of-school/#commentsThu, 29 Aug 2013 12:00:53 +0000http://whattheflicka.com/?p=12378Yesterday was the first day of kindergarten for my daughter, and she was simply a rock star. No tears—only excitement for her. On the other hand, my stomach was in knots, and I had to beat back the urge to take my child by the hand and run. We arrived at school early so I […]

]]>Yesterday was the first day of kindergarten for my daughter, and she was simply a rock star. No tears—only excitement for her. On the other hand, my stomach was in knots, and I had to beat back the urge to take my child by the hand and run.

We arrived at school early so I could analyze the traffic flow and familiarize us both with the before-school standard operating procedures. Call me crazy, but I have a desperate need for knowing how things work in advance. I think it’s also a defense mechanism to help me control my emotions.

I knew I would need to work hard to keep myself in check, so I prepared an additional strategy the night before. That strategy included the following 5 ways to keep myself from crying in front of my daughter on her first day of school:

1. Keep talking. Just talk, talk, talk. It’s an excellent distraction. “Here honey, open your locker. Now close it. Will you remember tomorrow how we came to the classroom? There’s your teacher, let’s say hello. Be sure to introduce yourself to the girl sitting next to you. Let’s find your seat. You are so brave. You’re going to have so much fun. I’m so proud of you. Do your best. Remember my kiss is still on the palm of your hand whenever you need it. I will be here to pick you up after school. I love you…”

2. Take pictures. Take many, many pictures. Take as many pictures of my child as I can—until she orders me to stop, and indicates I’m embarrassing her. Take pictures of her outside and inside the school. At her locker. Her friends. Her teacher. Her classroom. Her seat. The reading circle. The parking lot.

3. Dig deep to find loads of empathy for that one inconsolably crying child. When we moms pull out our innate need to provide empathy and comfort to a heart-broken child, we are no longer aware of our own hearts. I know there will be at least one; I’m just praying it won’t be mine.

4. Say hello to everyone I pass. I will smile at every man, woman, and child I see. In the parking lot. In the hallways. In the classroom. I will study the faces that will soon become familiar for my daughter and me.

5. Don’t hang around too long. Don’t delay the inevitable—I must leave, so just do it without being shooed by the teacher.

The result of my intense planning? After saying my twentieth good-bye, I made it to the hallway outside of the classroom where I immediately ran into one of the other moms. She was sobbing miserably. And that’s all it took for me to lose it—just one second of eye contact between she and I.

As I pushed tears from my cheeks to make room for more, I heard her husband say, “Honey, stop crying. Please. Look one more time. See? Our boy is happy. Aw come on, honey—now look what you did. That mom was fine until she looked at you.”

There was no plan left. Nothing more to analyze. No strategy. Nothing more to say. So I walked quietly through the hallways, barely aware, but aware enough to notice I wasn’t alone with my emotions. I found other mom faces with flowing tears. And I felt several pats on my shoulders as I made my way to the exit. And when the fresh air rushed over me, I realized I had once again just journeyed through the motherhood sisterhood.

If you read my article last week, you know I was planning a celebration to enjoy my new freedom. Needless to say, that didn’t happen. Maybe next week. Maybe next school year?

]]>http://whattheflicka.com/5-ways-to-keep-from-crying-on-the-first-day-of-school/feed/55 Ways To Celebrate Having The Kids Back In Schoolhttp://whattheflicka.com/5-ways-to-celebrate-having-the-kids-back-in-school/
http://whattheflicka.com/5-ways-to-celebrate-having-the-kids-back-in-school/#commentsFri, 23 Aug 2013 17:00:28 +0000http://whattheflicka.com/?p=12229Next week, my youngest is entering kindergarten. We moved my son into his new place for his second year of college this past weekend. It will be the first time in forever since I’ve had the house to myself, so I’m struggling with ‘go home’ or ‘spend some quality alone-time out’ after dropping my daughter […]

]]>Next week, my youngest is entering kindergarten. We moved my son into his new place for his second year of college this past weekend. It will be the first time in forever since I’ve had the house to myself, so I’m struggling with ‘go home’ or ‘spend some quality alone-time out’ after dropping my daughter off for her first day of school.

It should be a celebration, I think. A declaration of renewed independence, right? Let’s do it. If you work outside of the home during the hours in which your children attend school, consider taking a day off for our new, unofficial mom-celebration.

The ‘home or out’ dilemma has inspired me to think of the endless possibilities. There are so many ways to use my 2 and one-half hours to revel in my new freedom. I’ve come up with the following five ideas:

1. Go directly to Starbucks or your favorite local coffee shop for a treat. Order something you wouldn’t normally allow yourself, like a delicious Caramel Macchiato. Open one of your favorite novels. Sip. Savor. Repeat. If you’re on your way to work, get your treat to go.

2. Hit the mall, alone, even if only to window shop. Go ahead, say hello to that handbag you’re secretly coveting. It’s okay not to buy anything—we’re all recovering from back-to-school shopping.

3. Take a bath. If your family is anything like mine, you’ve probably had to sacrifice bathing, so a real bath is a rare luxury. Enjoy a long, hot, bubbly one for a change.

4. Read. Start that book you’ve placed on the shelf for another day (that may never come). Read your favorite magazine with no interruptions. Catch up on the blog posts here at What The Flicka? If you’re really brave, read the label of a nice bottle of wine—as you conduct a private mini-tasting.

5. Take a nap. When was the last time you took one?

This all sounds great doesn’t it? Blissful even. But you know what? If I know me, you’ll probably be able to find me sitting in my car somewhere close to the school, travel mug full of homemade coffee in hand, sobbing. It’s hard for me to believe my daughter is starting school.

]]>http://whattheflicka.com/5-ways-to-celebrate-having-the-kids-back-in-school/feed/75 Quick, Healthier Breakfasts For Picky Eatershttp://whattheflicka.com/5-quick-healthier-breakfasts-for-picky-eaters/
http://whattheflicka.com/5-quick-healthier-breakfasts-for-picky-eaters/#commentsFri, 16 Aug 2013 12:00:11 +0000http://whattheflicka.com/?p=12056It’s often challenging to get a good breakfast into our picky little eaters, especially when time is limited. The problem with cold cereal, though it is fast, is it doesn’t stay with us long, and we’re soon hungry again. Don’t get me wrong—if you were to walk into my pantry, you’d find at least 6 […]

]]>It’s often challenging to get a good breakfast into our picky little eaters, especially when time is limited. The problem with cold cereal, though it is fast, is it doesn’t stay with us long, and we’re soon hungry again. Don’t get me wrong—if you were to walk into my pantry, you’d find at least 6 boxes of cereal right now. My family loves cereal, and we’d never give it up fully, but we’re trying to use it more for snacks and weekends rather than weekday breakfasts.

Here are five quick breakfast ideas for picky eaters like mine that are healthier than the cold cereal habit:

1. Whole grain pancakes with peanut butter. My family loves pancakes. We eat them for breakfast, lunch and dinner. When I make the batter, I double or triple the recipe and freeze the leftover pancakes in packs of 2 or 4 for easy microwaving on those mornings when time is short, but I want the kids to eat something other than cold cereal.

If your kids are like mine, they might leave breakfast meats behind, uneaten. Try using peanut butter instead of butter or margarine to sneak in a bit of protein.

2. Cheesy egg roll ups(but don’t call them breakfast burritos). Spread a thin layer of shredded cheddar on a small flour tortilla. Warm it in the microwave for 10-15 seconds. Add a narrow line of scrambled egg down the center (be sure not to over-stuff). Fold one end and roll it up thin and tight. Done.

3. Quick Oats dusted with brown sugar and cinnamon. I know, I know. The sugar, right? I’m okay with it in this case because oatmeal is fiber-rich and contains protein. So if I can get it into my kids with a bit of the sweet, I’m a happy mom.

4. Hard-boiled eggs. What’s easier than pulling a hard-boiled egg from the fridge and throwing some fruit and toast on the plate?

5. Greek yogurt. Like eggs, it’s full of hunger-busting protein. Serve a good-sized portion with a banana or slice of banana bread. Bananas contain a healthy carb that will keep your kids feeling fuller, longer.

]]>http://whattheflicka.com/5-quick-healthier-breakfasts-for-picky-eaters/feed/25 Things To Do Before Your Kids Head Back To Schoolhttp://whattheflicka.com/5-things-to-do-before-your-kids-head-back-to-school/
http://whattheflicka.com/5-things-to-do-before-your-kids-head-back-to-school/#respondFri, 09 Aug 2013 12:00:20 +0000http://whattheflicka.com/?p=11897Where did the time go? Seems like I wrote about welcoming summer just yesterday, but here we are. It’s back-to-school time again. Getting ready for the new school year has always been a big event in my home. Here are five items I’d like to share with you straight from my family’s get-ready bucket list: […]

]]>Where did the time go? Seems like I wrote about welcoming summer just yesterday, but here we are. It’s back-to-school time again.

Getting ready for the new school year has always been a big event in my home. Here are five items I’d like to share with you straight from my family’s get-ready bucket list:

1. Make playdates. Familiar faces are reassuring, so having spent some get-to-know-you time with classmates can ease first-day tension.

The parents association in my kids’ school district plans parties at the city pool prior to the start of school to help children first meet in a fun, casual environment. It’s okay if you can’t make the pool party. Traditional playdates are just as effective, and sometimes more fun.

2. Catch up on the summer reading list. It is easy to let it slide early on, and easy to let it go in the end. Summer camps are over, and most of us have had plenty of sunshine by now. It’s never too late to brush up on those reading skills. Why not dive in and get it done?

3. Check out the new classroom or new school. It is scary for children to show up on the first day without being fairly acclimated. Most schools host “preview nights,” allowing kids and their parents to tour the school, find classrooms and meet teachers. If your school does not offer a preview night, you can call to schedule a private tour.

4. Create a homework nook. My daughter loves having her own cozy little retreat just for homework. Be sure the area has good lighting and is quiet and away from TV. Remember to stock it with plenty of extra supplies to eliminate unnecessary trips out of the space to get stuff.

5. Have one last hurrah. It’s the perfect opportunity for one more playdate or family gathering. Enjoy one last late night catching fireflies and roasting marshmallows.

]]>http://whattheflicka.com/5-things-to-do-before-your-kids-head-back-to-school/feed/05 Things To Look Forward To When Older Kids Come Homehttp://whattheflicka.com/5-things-to-look-forward-to-when-older-kids-come-home/
http://whattheflicka.com/5-things-to-look-forward-to-when-older-kids-come-home/#commentsFri, 02 Aug 2013 12:00:11 +0000http://whattheflicka.com/?p=11709After finishing his first year at Ohio State, my son decided to stay on for the summer semester. That semester has ended and my son is now home for three weeks before heading back. His sister and I have grown accustomed to our all-girl rules, and have nearly forgotten what it’s like to have a […]

]]>After finishing his first year at Ohio State, my son decided to stay on for the summer semester. That semester has ended and my son is now home for three weeks before heading back. His sister and I have grown accustomed to our all-girl rules, and have nearly forgotten what it’s like to have a guy in the house.

It’s only the first week, but already I find myself re-learning how to share the house; learning to make adjustments. If you ever find yourself in this same boat, here are five experiences you can look forward to when your kid comes home from college:

1. Sacrificing salon money for more groceries. Sometimes my daughter and I eat nothing more than vegetables and salads for dinner, but we can’t seem to get away with that while the boy is home.

2. Finding lost stuff (that isn’t lost). My son has never been good at finding things. Where is this? What did you do with that? Why did you move it? I often wonder how he keeps track of his belongings when I’m not around.

3. Late nights full of friends, video games and tons of noise. The kids go away to college and they miss their childhood friends. I get it. What I don’t get? Sleep.

4. Tripping over size 13 sneakers. It’s hard not to trip on ginormous shoes that continue to magically appear in your path.

*And there’s a bonus. If you have a puppy, you might get to chase him through the house more than usual for the giant, dirty sock he fetched from one of those gargantuan sneakers.

5. Sitting on the toilet… with the seat up. Why can’t guys just put the seat back down when they finish? I’ve tried hard to teach my son that what goes up must come down.

Are your kids grown and out of the house? What would you add to this list for when they come back to visit?

]]>http://whattheflicka.com/5-things-to-look-forward-to-when-older-kids-come-home/feed/65 Reasons To Love The British Monarchyhttp://whattheflicka.com/5-reasons-to-love-the-british-monarchy/
http://whattheflicka.com/5-reasons-to-love-the-british-monarchy/#commentsWed, 24 Jul 2013 12:00:27 +0000http://whattheflicka.com/?p=11567With the birth of His Royal Highness Prince George Alexander Louis of Cambridge this week, I felt compelled to share my love of the modern-day British Monarchy. The Queen may still represent old tradition, but the younger generations of royals are changing the future of the empire. Princes William and Harry lead the new generations, […]

]]>With the birth of His Royal Highness Prince George Alexander Louis of Cambridge this week, I felt compelled to share my love of the modern-day British Monarchy. The Queen may still represent old tradition, but the younger generations of royals are changing the future of the empire. Princes William and Harry lead the new generations, presenting a new monarchy more in touch with the people. Charles’ sons promise down to earth, hard-working, forward thinking leadership. They honor privilege without rubbing their royal statuses it in our faces.

There are many reasons to fall in love with the “new” Monarchy, and here are five of my favorites:

1. The Duchess of Cambridge. Kate Middleton gave a wonderful gift to moms all over the world this week when she appeared on the hospital steps; proudly revealing not only her newborn Prince, but also her post-partum baby bump.

2. Kate Middleton, again. She carried the new little prince out for his introduction to the world, and only when she was ready did she offer him to Will. A stark contrast to the retro introduction of baby Prince William by Charles and Diana.

3. Prince William of Wales, Duke of Cambridge, the modern dad. There are a lot of reasons to love this prince, but this week he totally stole my heart when I learned he’s expected to take two weeks of paid paternity leave. And did you see Will put the infant car seat into his Range Rover and drive the family home to Kensington Palace himself?

4. Prince Harry of Wales, the totally authentic prince. Certainly never to be forgotten. Harry has no problem openly serving his country on the front line in Afghanistan. And he’s honest. The prince, crew member of an Apache attack helicopter, acknowledges publicly that he killed Taliban insurgents during his latest tour.

5. Historical Tradition. It’s still fun to learn the tales of historical, illustrious lines of the intriguing, flamboyant royals. It’s like reading a great novel that you just can’t put down. Honor. Love. War. Debauchery. Betrayal. It’s all good.

I can’t wait for my daughter to follow the stories of Prince George’s leadership when they are both grown.

]]>http://whattheflicka.com/5-reasons-to-love-the-british-monarchy/feed/35 Simple Recycling Tips For New Recyclershttp://whattheflicka.com/5-simple-recycling-tips-for-new-recyclers/
http://whattheflicka.com/5-simple-recycling-tips-for-new-recyclers/#commentsWed, 17 Jul 2013 11:00:17 +0000http://whattheflicka.com/?p=11407Over the past few years, I’ve become über aware of the amount of trash my kids and I are discarding to fill the earth. I find myself evaluating the recyclability of each and every item before allowing the kids and myself to toss it into the trashcan. I’m an all or nothing kind of gal […]

]]>Over the past few years, I’ve become über aware of the amount of trash my kids and I are discarding to fill the earth. I find myself evaluating the recyclability of each and every item before allowing the kids and myself to toss it into the trashcan.

I’m an all or nothing kind of gal so when I do something, I do it. You can find me on any given day digging through the trash, as my kids say, removing items to transfer them to the recycle bin.

Fortunately, the city where we live makes it easy to recycle almost everything. Each week, the city’s recycling crew hauls away my enormous amount of diet coke bottles, including the plastic thing that holds the 8-pack tighter. They haul away my daughter’s juice boxes and milk cartons, magazines and catalogs, wine bottles, shampoo and soap bottles, laundry detergent, fabric softener and other cleaning supply jugs, and more.

I know there’s much more I can do, and having just hosted my son’s 19th birthday and a dear friend’s 60th sent me into recycle overdrive. I began evaluating our throw-aways again and came up with additional green practices for my household. Here are five of those eco-friendlier habits:

1. I had to let my ever-loving strong, absorbent Bounty paper towels go. I use paper towels for everything, and this was probably one of the hardest transitions for me. But I bit the bullet and subscribed to Seventh Generation’s 100% recycled paper towels delivery. These towels are not as absorbent and definitely not as strong, but the trade off is worth making this adjustment.

2. When I was planning our July celebrations, I became increasingly burdened by the thought of using and discarding countless paper and foam plates. I haven’t yet found an acceptable green solution locally, but I did research the matter, and found that Chinet introduced its environmental sustainability project many years ago. Chinet’s Classic White line is made from recycled material and is biodegradable.

3. Another pang of guilt struck as I lifted a package of plastic spoons, forks and knives from the grocery store shelf. After a moment of contemplation, I put it back. When I announced to my family that we would be using (and washing) my own silverware, I did receive a few groans, but again, the trade off is worth making this adjustment.

4. You know those bazillions of plastic bags we collect when grocery shopping? They’re a menace to our ecosystem and clean up costs taxpayers millions each year. I purchased 6 reusable shopping tote bags for $.99 and stashed them in my car so that each time I shop, I have my totes with me. When I do acquire those plastic shopping bags, I’m sure to take them back to my local grocery store where I can deposit them into a recycling bin. If you forget your reusable totes, ask for paper instead of plastic.

5. Speaking of bags, I realized recently with my growing concern for what’s tossed into the trash, I overlooked what the trash is being thrown into. I’m still researching this one, but in the meantime I’ve switched to Hefty’s Renew bags, made of 65% recycled plastic.

As much as I love my Keurig coffee maker, I feel guiltier each time I use it. Do you have ideas on recycling k-cups? If so, please share, and help save my conscience from this ongoing battle of ‘to keep or not to keep the Keurig.’

]]>http://whattheflicka.com/5-simple-recycling-tips-for-new-recyclers/feed/65 Fun Outdoor Activities For The Fourth of Julyhttp://whattheflicka.com/five-fun-outdoor-activities-for-the-fourth-of-july/
http://whattheflicka.com/five-fun-outdoor-activities-for-the-fourth-of-july/#commentsFri, 28 Jun 2013 17:00:46 +0000http://whattheflicka.com/?p=10852It’s the Fourth, and this year you’d really like a few me-minutes to scarf down that awesome burger, have an adult conversation and maybe even enjoy a cocktail, right? We know the kids will be quick to complain of boredom, and that margarita will be lousy once we can actually get to it. It can […]

]]>It’s the Fourth, and this year you’d really like a few me-minutes to scarf down that awesome burger, have an adult conversation and maybe even enjoy a cocktail, right? We know the kids will be quick to complain of boredom, and that margarita will be lousy once we can actually get to it.

It can be challenging to keep children busy while they impatiently wait for the traditional evening festivities to begin. That said, here are five fun outdoor activity ideas to keep the kids busy and happy until it’s time for poppers, sparklers and fireworks at this year’s Fourth of July celebration:

1. It’s hot and children love to play with water, in any form. Give ice cube painting a try. It’s a wonderful group activity—just cover a picnic table with cheap paper table covers from the party store and let your little artists get busy.

To make the paint cubes, grab some old ice cube trays and fill them with water. Some like to use food color, but I prefer adding a bit of washable paint to the water for easier cleanup. Stir it up and freeze. This is a messy activity, but you can make it just a bit less of a mess by putting Popsicle, ice cream or craft sticks in each cube after they’re partially frozen. This allows the kids to paint holding the stick rather than holding the cubes in their hands.

2. During the summer months, my patio concrete is usually full of my daughter’s artwork. Give the kids a bucket of sidewalk chalk, turn them loose on the patio, driveway or sidewalks and you’ll be able to enjoy that conversation for a change. Next day clean up with the hose is easy and totally worth it, but most often I leave the artwork on display until the rain comes.

3. Dodge balloon is as much fun for the adults as it is for the kids. Split up into two teams so kids can take turns throwing the water balloons at the opposing side. When you’re hit, you’re out. It’s fun, and it’s wet.

4. Don’t have a pool? Blow up two or three cheap baby pools. Set up one to use exclusively as a filling station for squirt guns or silly soakers so bigger kids can join the fun and cool down, too.

5. Can’t get to a fireworks show this year? Have your own balloon fireworks. Launch some red, white and blue balloons. Let the kids decorate and write Independence Day messages on the balloons before the sendoff.

Do you have easy ideas to keep the kids busy at this year’s celebration? Share it with us. We want to hear it!

]]>http://whattheflicka.com/five-fun-outdoor-activities-for-the-fourth-of-july/feed/135 Surprising Things I Said This Weekhttp://whattheflicka.com/five-surprising-things-i-said-this-week/
http://whattheflicka.com/five-surprising-things-i-said-this-week/#commentsFri, 21 Jun 2013 17:00:56 +0000http://whattheflicka.com/?p=10732As moms, we find ourselves saying things we never thought we’d say. Sometimes it’s the stuff that makes us realize we’ve become our own mothers, and sometimes it’s just weird and inexplicable. Following are five of those surprising things that came out of my mouth this week: 1. “Why is there a chocolate stain inside […]

]]>As moms, we find ourselves saying things we never thought we’d say. Sometimes it’s the stuff that makes us realize we’ve become our own mothers, and sometimes it’s just weird and inexplicable.

Following are five of those surprising things that came out of my mouth this week:

1. “Why is there a chocolate stain inside my bra?” Still, I have no idea. I don’t recall eating any chocolate.

2. “Dude.” Repeatedly. I grew up in the decades when dude as it’s known today was original, and I always disliked it. Somehow it worked itself into my vocabulary of late, and now I have to wonder if my 18 year-old son remembers his real name.

]]>http://whattheflicka.com/five-surprising-things-i-said-this-week/feed/85 Common Lies We Tell Our Kidshttp://whattheflicka.com/five-common-lies-we-tell-our-kids/
http://whattheflicka.com/five-common-lies-we-tell-our-kids/#commentsFri, 14 Jun 2013 12:00:30 +0000http://whattheflicka.com/?p=10569Lying is wrong, and everyone knows it. We teach our children not to lie, and we punish them when they do. But do you ever think about all the little, white lies we tell our kids? I know, sometimes it’s necessary. In the interest of safety and all that. Then there are those we tell […]

]]>Lying is wrong, and everyone knows it. We teach our children not to lie, and we punish them when they do. But do you ever think about all the little, white lies we tell our kids? I know, sometimes it’s necessary. In the interest of safety and all that. Then there are those we tell for the sake of sneaking in a few me-moments. And more importantly, those we tell to protect our parental sanity. Here are several of those common little lies we tell our children:

1 “Santa is real, and he comes down the chimney when you sleep.” My daughter and I had a random conversation about this not long ago in the car after she realized there was no chimney on our roof. She nervously asked, “Mommy… we don’t have a chimney?” I knew where she was headed with the question. “No, baby, we don’t, but I always remember to leave the back door unlocked on Christmas Eve,” was my reply. Another lie.

2 “It won’t hurt, it’s just a pinch.” Ha. I hate needles, and they damn well do hurt. But you won’t catch me telling either of my kids that.

3 “Be there in a minute.” Unless I hear something break or bona fide shriek of pain, I probably won’t get there for 20.

4 “Go on, I’m listening.” I’ve perfected my listening face. My kids won’t realize I just made a mental grocery list until they’re grown and do it to their own.

5 “You won!” It’s the end of a very long day; bedtime can’t come soon enough, and the board game never seems to end. Enough said?

Share some of your little, white lies with us below. We want to hear it!

]]>1. Make a date with dad. Take him out for a movie and popcorn, but stay away from the romantic comedies and chick flicks. Let dad choose something with lots of guy action. We’re talking super heroes, sci fi, shootouts, and car chases.

2. Create handmade coupons with services the kids will provide. Older kids can treat dad to a car wash. Relinquish the remote for a week. Bake his favorite cookies. Mow the lawn. You get the idea.

3. What dad isn’t always in need of more t-shirts? You can find tons of inexpensive, Father’s Day themed t-shirts in your local department stores or online. I found one of my favorites at Etsy.com this year —see photo below— and I can’t wait to see my dad wear it. He has a great sense of humor so I know he’ll wear it well.

4. Create a giant card and have all members of the family add a handwritten message describing what they admire most about dad. Younger children will love to do the decorating. We don’t always show our gratitude to our parents so this is the perfect time to let dad know how much we look up to him. I know putting it in writing is risky because it can be held against you when you least expect it. Oh what the hell, go ahead. Dad’s totally worth the risk.

5. Most dads love to grill so have a family barbeque. This is an annual Father’s Day tradition in my family, potluck style. What dad wouldn’t love to be surrounded by his children and grandchildren on his special day while enjoying his bbq chicken dinner?

Share your ideas for inexpensive Father’s Day gifts with us. We want to hear it!

]]>http://whattheflicka.com/5-inexpensive-gifts-for-fathers-day/feed/25 Reasons To Give Your Kids That Puppyhttp://whattheflicka.com/5-reasons-to-give-your-kids-that-puppy/
http://whattheflicka.com/5-reasons-to-give-your-kids-that-puppy/#commentsFri, 31 May 2013 17:00:45 +0000http://whattheflicka.com/?p=10265My young daughter had been asking for a puppy since she began talking. She and I spent time Googling different dog breeds when bored, and ultimately decided a cavalier King Charles spaniel would be our choice. We talked about how much fun it would be. We talked about how great receiving the unconditional love that […]

]]>My young daughter had been asking for a puppy since she began talking. She and I spent time Googling different dog breeds when bored, and ultimately decided a cavalier King Charles spaniel would be our choice. We talked about how much fun it would be. We talked about how great receiving the unconditional love that comes from a dog would be.

Last month, I finally gave in. My 18 year-old son, away at college, said, “How hard can it be, Mom?” He shopped for the carrier crate thing and then picked up the pup from a breeder near his college campus on his way home for a week. The rest was up to me. Easy, he said.

What we failed to talk about as a family is the following stuff. That which makes the experience even more ‘enjoyable.’ Caution: sarcasm may be hard at work here…

1. You love to pick up poop. And you love to pick it up from your indoor floors and the outdoor ‘potty patch’ equally. It’s never-ending. I think our puppy must poop his own weight each day. He’s 10 pounds.

2. You’re not happy being free. You’re kids are old enough that you can just go, anytime, anywhere, for any length of time. No more. Bye-bye freedom. Hello first to leave the party.

3. You love to get up before the sun. You get too much sleep anyway. I’m certain our puppy gets up earlier than either of my children ever did.

4. You love the chewed-on look. Your shoes. Your computer cord. The cord to the vacuum. The coffee table. The rugs. My daughter installed one of her old baby gates across the doorway to her playroom. The puppy can’t get to her things. Only mine.

5. You love vacuuming. What’s more, you love increasing the number of times you vacuum each week. To get rid of the dog hair. But hey, it’s a good work out, right?

All things annoying aside, we do love our new little family member. Have you ever had a cavalier look at you with his sweet puppy eyes? That face. It’s just too damn hard to resist. And harder to get any work done around here.

]]>http://whattheflicka.com/5-reasons-to-give-your-kids-that-puppy/feed/125 Fantastic Summer Readshttp://whattheflicka.com/5-fantastic-summer-reads/
http://whattheflicka.com/5-fantastic-summer-reads/#commentsFri, 24 May 2013 17:00:53 +0000http://whattheflicka.com/?p=10157As promised last week, here’s a list of some fantastic summer reads. I’m admittedly a romance fiction junkie, but sometimes a heartfelt memoir can be a great inspiration and a needed life lesson. Here are five good chick lit books or series that go well with an iced coffee or tea, sunshine, and a warm […]

]]>As promised last week, here’s a list of some fantastic summer reads. I’m admittedly a romance fiction junkie, but sometimes a heartfelt memoir can be a great inspiration and a needed life lesson. Here are five good chick lit books or series that go well with an iced coffee or tea, sunshine, and a warm summer breeze.

One mother’s memoir recounting her unforgettable journey through the first year in the life of her daughter, who has Down syndrome.

This book is inspiring, not depressing. It reminds us of the beauty found in life when we choose to embrace the unexpected, and underscores the strength of a mother’s love. Stunning color photographs are found throughout the story.

Sometimes all you need is a fabulous pair of shoes…and a little assistance from a supernatural ally. This is a well-written, witty, quirky book that made me laugh and cry. This story presents the struggles of early motherhood, set during a hot New York summer.

This is an exhilarating read presented from the perspective of a teenage boy. It’s a captivating southern Gothic with well-developed characters set in a small town in South Carolina at summer’s end. Beautiful Creatures will draw you in—you’ll move on to the next book in this series quickly. The movie released a few months back may have disappointed, but the books will not.

A historical, romantic saga about three fierce Scottish brothers with dangerous lives, dark desires and a deadly family curse. If you’re in the mood for a steamy, sexy adventure this summer, look no further. Reading order: (1) If You Dare, (2) If You Desire, (3) If You Deceive.

Last but not least, this is the beachy drama you’re looking for. You get unforgettable characters, a fast-paced story and thought- provoking questions of your own. Three girlfriends with crumbling lives are reunited at a beach town where the ambiance of summer encourages them to explore new experiences and un-bury their true selves from secrets of a shared past.

]]>http://whattheflicka.com/5-fantastic-summer-reads/feed/6Summertime: 5 Ideas For Welcoming The Sublime Seasonhttp://whattheflicka.com/summertime-5-ideas-for-welcoming-the-sublime-season/
http://whattheflicka.com/summertime-5-ideas-for-welcoming-the-sublime-season/#commentsFri, 17 May 2013 12:00:07 +0000http://whattheflicka.com/?p=10064The Memorial Day holiday is fast approaching, and you know what that means—barbeques, beaches and the official welcome of the summer season. Here are 5 ideas to help you enjoy this summer: 1. Hang a hummingbird feeder. Several years ago, my daughter and I began admiring the hummingbirds that flitted around our patio garden. We […]

]]>The Memorial Day holiday is fast approaching, and you know what that means—barbeques, beaches and the official welcome of the summer season. Here are 5 ideas to help you enjoy this summer:

1. Hang a hummingbird feeder.

Several years ago, my daughter and I began admiring the hummingbirds that flitted around our patio garden. We patiently wait each spring for their return, and call me crazy, but it seems like the same birds come back on nearly the same day every year. As summer moves along, the birds become more familiar with our activities and begin sharing the patio with us, swooping about as though they own the place.

Hummingbirds both soothe and inspire me. The little beauties remind me to keep moving forward, to continue seeking life’s sweeter opportunities—no matter what. Hang a feeder or multiple small feeders on windows (with strong suction cup hooks) overlooking a yard or garden so you can see the birds even when you’re inside.

2. Switch to iced coffee (or tea).

It’s no secret that I love my morning cup of wake-me-up, but when the warm Midwest weather finally settles in, I switch from hot to iced coffee. If you haven’t tried the switch, give it a chance. You might find you like it even more than your hot java. And the bonus? You get to use a straw.

3. Grab a great summer read.

There’s nothing better than a fabulous book and a summer breeze. Next week, I’ll provide you with my book recommendations.

Like many of you, I’m a stickler for early bed times. Children need their rest and moms need the time off, right? This summer ease up a bit. Remember those wonderful warm evenings outdoors as a child, chasing fireflies and playing hide-and-go-seek in the dark? Me too. I want my kids to have these same memories to cherish.

]]>http://whattheflicka.com/summertime-5-ideas-for-welcoming-the-sublime-season/feed/25 Ways To Celebrate Mother’s Dayhttp://whattheflicka.com/5-ways-to-celebrate-mothers-day/
http://whattheflicka.com/5-ways-to-celebrate-mothers-day/#respondFri, 10 May 2013 12:00:56 +0000http://whattheflicka.com/?p=9978My family has a Mother’s Day tradition that I dearly love and look forward to every year. Each year, we collectively gather at a Mexican restaurant for dinner. And each year, I feel pretty bad for the staff after we’ve gone. Our group has a great time, and we immediately begin looking forward to the […]

]]>My family has a Mother’s Day tradition that I dearly love and look forward to every year. Each year, we collectively gather at a Mexican restaurant for dinner. And each year, I feel pretty bad for the staff after we’ve gone. Our group has a great time, and we immediately begin looking forward to the next margarita-filled Mother’s Day. I thought it would be fun to share with you 5 details included in my family’s annual celebration. This is how we roll:

1. We have a margarita. Or two.Okay, so make it a pitcher. Or two. By the time the food comes around, my cheeks hurt from laughing, and my kids are thoroughly embarrassed.If you don’t want to go out but still want a marg,click here to try our Lauren Parker-Gill’s yummy Mommy’s Little Helper Margarita at home.

3. We have a moms-only gift exchange.It’s super fun to exchange inexpensive gifts. It’s fun anticipating what creative items will turn up at the place settings on the dinner table. We give small affordable stuff like flowers, delicious treats, hand lotions, or handmade gifts.

4. We’re inclusive. Fur Moms are moms, too.Several in our group don’t have children, but we don’t discriminate. It couldn’t have been said better than when my blogger friend Kimberly Gauthier said, “I’m Not A Real Mom, But I Love Like One.”

5. We hug the kids super tight. All of them.I have a tendency to squeeze my own kids really, truly tight on this day. My daughter doesn’t mind. My 18 year-old son does his best to avoid not only the hugs, but the motherhood stories told around the table. Try as he may, there is no escape for our children on this day.

Olé! Happy Mother’s Day!

How does your family celebrate Mother’s Day? Share with us below. We’d love to hear it!

]]>http://whattheflicka.com/5-ways-to-celebrate-mothers-day/feed/05 Things I Want My Daughter To Know, Nowhttp://whattheflicka.com/5-things-i-want-my-daughter-to-know-now/
http://whattheflicka.com/5-things-i-want-my-daughter-to-know-now/#commentsSat, 04 May 2013 12:00:58 +0000http://whattheflicka.com/?p=9888Like all of you, there are so many things I want to teach my young daughter. I want to share mistakes I’ve made in an effort to spare her the same heartaches I endured. But I have a bit of a different take than others on when our girls should know what lies ahead. In […]

]]>Like all of you, there are so many things I want to teach my young daughter. I want to share mistakes I’ve made in an effort to spare her the same heartaches I endured. But I have a bit of a different take than others on when our girls should know what lies ahead.

In February, our family celebrated my daughter’s 5th birthday. It occurred to me just days before while planning the party that I may already be behind the eight ball. So I’m going to step it up, beginning today.

Most who know us will tell you my daughter is nearly a carbon copy of me—right down to the knocked knees, stubborn but optimistic behavior and the deep, raucous laugh. Me, only brunette.

Here are 5 things I want my daughter to know, right now:

1. You don’t have to be me.You’re your own person, and I adore your individuality. And I truly love your brunette hair.

2. Love your body now, and always.Understand there is no good or bad, just healthy.I remember when I was 13, I had already vowed to eat nothing but fruit, and I weighed myself constantly. I grew up believing I needed to be better than who I was. In this case, slimmer. I don’t want that for my daughter.

3. You’re already intelligent.I make a conscious effort to acknowledge my daughter’s intelligence and passion, before complimenting her appearance. She doesn’t need to be ‘made’ intelligent; she simply needs to absorb life to enhance her God-given intellect.

4. You have the right to be heard. You have the right to be independent.What more needs to be said here?

5. It’s okay for you to play, to use your imagination, to dream.I believe happiness and success come from that very place within.

I could go on with this list infinitely, but I’ll stop here with 5 and invite you to share more with us in the comments below.

]]>http://whattheflicka.com/5-things-i-want-my-daughter-to-know-now/feed/107 Signs You’re Entering Middle Agehttp://whattheflicka.com/7-signs-youre-entering-middle-age/
http://whattheflicka.com/7-signs-youre-entering-middle-age/#commentsSat, 13 Apr 2013 07:05:10 +0000http://whattheflicka.com/?p=9490I was prepared to publish an intense, serious post on divorce today but just as I was about to click the publish button, another thought entered my head: To hell with that for now, let’s just have some fun and deal with the heavy tomorrow. So. In honor of the reliably loyal gray roots that return […]

]]>I was prepared to publish an intense, serious post on divorce today but just as I was about to click the publish button, another thought entered my head: To hell with that for now, let’s just have some fun and deal with the heavy tomorrow.

So. In honor of the reliably loyal gray roots that return to me every 5 or 6 weeks, I share with you seven signs that lead me to believe I’m well on my way to earning middle age status:

1. When I acquired my first pair of glasses, I spent a month or more in denial, finding excuses not to wear those sexy specs. It made me light-headed. I could see better without them. I even demanded a retest of my vision. I never thought I’d miss the days of boasting about 20/20 vision. Now, I can’t see a thing without my cheaters.

2. I used to add highlights to my hair. Now, I add highlights to the color that I use to cover the gray in my hair. Of course, I cover the gray with my natural color.

3. I used to feel tall. My son is now taller than me by nearly 9 inches. He’s a towering 6’4″ and possibly still growing. I’m raising a giant and clearly shrinking at the same time.

4. Shedding baby weight in my 20′s was cake. Shedding baby weight again, 15 years later, is nearly futile. Still, I’m hanging on to that one little designer dress for the “someday” that will probably never arrive. (Did someone mention cake?)

5. After sitting through an entire movie, my body aches when I stand. Wait. Did I fall asleep during the movie?

7. I drink coffee. I drink lots of coffee. The amount of coffee I consume increases each year. I never touched the stuff in my 20′s or early 30′s.

I’m not going to walk through the door with the sign that reads, “Enter Middle Age” without a fight though. That’ll be me, the one you see kicking and screaming. And cursing. Fortunately for me, even if I wanted to go through that door, certainly one of my kids will make the demand and I’ll have to turn around anyway.

]]>http://whattheflicka.com/7-signs-youre-entering-middle-age/feed/4Why Shouldn’t Our Daughters Enjoy The Best of Both Worlds?http://whattheflicka.com/imposed-princess-syndrome/
http://whattheflicka.com/imposed-princess-syndrome/#commentsThu, 11 Apr 2013 15:15:13 +0000http://whattheflicka.com/?p=9513If you know me, you know I don’t believe in applying repressive gender roles to my daughter. She and I were shopping yesterday when I noticed two baby boomers staring at her. More specifically, they were staring at her ensemble. My girl was wearing light pink corduroy pants with a pattern of sparkling gems at […]

]]>If you know me, you know I don’t believe in applying repressive gender roles to my daughter. She and I were shopping yesterday when I noticed two baby boomers staring at her. More specifically, they were staring at her ensemble.

My girl was wearing light pink corduroy pants with a pattern of sparkling gems at the hem and a rosy-pink long sleeve tee with an appliqued horse sporting pink ribbons in its free-flowing mane. And Iron Man sneakers.

She loves princesses, ponies, and The Avengers. My soon-to-be 5 year-old loves the trains and cars her older brother has handed down to her. And she adores the evenings when our little family is back together, and Pizza Super Hero Movie Night is unanimously declared.

When the boomers finished staring at my daughter, I couldn’t help myself—I had to comment. “We can’t wait for Iron Man 3,” I said, more than enthusiastically.

Back in early December, my daughter had already window shopped with her grandmother for her Iron Man sneakers, so she knew exactly where she was headed when she and I walked into that store. You’ve probably guessed the saleswoman immediately directed us to the pink, girly section. In fact, she nearly insisted. Then my daughter looked up at me with a bold confidence that instantly brought a smile to my heart. “We’ll be over there checking out the super hero sneakers. We’ll let you know when we’re ready to try on,” I advised.

I don’t know about you, but I cringe every time I see a little one suffering from Imposed Princess Syndrome. Don’t get me wrong; we love the princesses, too. We’ve had princess themed birthday parties and my daughter will often choose outfits from her princess-like wardrobe.

Our favorite park at Disney last year was Magic Kingdom, largely due to its plethora of princesses. But upon our return from Florida, my daughter immediately began asking to visit “Marvel” during our next vacation. To be fair to the super heroes she also loves, you know.

Children learn what they live. If we provide only ‘girl’ stuff to our daughters without thought; if we teach our daughters to choose only ‘girly’ things, then that she will. If we allow her to decide what truly interests her, well, she might wear Iron Man sneakers. And run for President of The United States.

As I’ve mentioned before, like you, I have countless dreams for my daughter. I dream about the lifelong possibilities in front of her. And I continue to reassure her the sky is the limit, and there will no longer be gender-imposed glass ceilings for her to break. I tell her she’s a girl, yes, and that means she can do anything she desires. Anything.

There are also days when you may see my daughter out in her mask and cape. Sometimes with boots, and other times with sparkly ballet flats. Why shouldn’t our daughters enjoy the best of both worlds?

]]>http://whattheflicka.com/imposed-princess-syndrome/feed/9From Pushover to Lionesshttp://whattheflicka.com/from-pushover-to-lioness/
http://whattheflicka.com/from-pushover-to-lioness/#commentsWed, 27 Mar 2013 12:00:40 +0000http://whattheflicka.com/?p=9148 When I was young, you could simply look at me and I might cry. I was afraid of my parents, uncles, aunts, the mailman, teachers, professors. It’s amazing how much we change when we become parents. Change is good. I used to enjoy running all over town on errand day. Now, I appreciate the […]

When I was young, you could simply look at me and I might cry. I was afraid of my parents, uncles, aunts, the mailman, teachers, professors. It’s amazing how much we change when we become parents.

Change is good. I used to enjoy running all over town on errand day. Now, I appreciate the convenience of completing errands at one location. It makes life easier when you have a 3 year-old that goes everywhere you go.

Last week, when completing our routine at the local grocery slash pharmacy slash bank slash Starbucks, my errand partner was in a cranky mood. The demand, as it’s called in my home, had been rearing its ugly head all morning long. By the time we’d hit the deli, bakery and produce, we were close to meltdown mode. “Just one last, quick stop before we checkout and go home,” I said, as I threaded little legs back though the holes of the shopping cart’s seat again.

When we reached the pharmacy, there was just one person ahead of us. I was thanking God for that while prying little arms from my neck, when another woman joined the line. Almost immediately, this woman leaned into me from behind and indicated that neither my cart nor my child belonged in this line.

Oh. No. She. Didn’t.

Without any thought, I replied to this woman in a way that would have been considered uncharacteristic of me in the past. You see, when I mentioned meltdown mode, I was talking about mine. I won’t quote my response, and I won’t disclose which four-letter words may have been included, but I will say this–I’m almost certain this particular woman will never advise a mother of a cranky, clingy 3-year old that way again.

My daughter fell asleep on the drive home (another brief God-thanking session) so I had a rare opportunity to reflect. Driving along, I realized I must look like an idiot laughing to myself a loud. Truth be told, it was more like roaring with laughter. I felt like a proud lioness who had just protected her cub from a predator.

It really is amazing how we change when we become parents. Mind you, I have an almost 17 year-old so my change happened a long time ago.

I now recognize my primal transformation to lioness. To mom. Or bitch, as I’ve heard it said a time or two. But most certainly, I’m a pushover no more.

Have you ever been a pushover? Did you experience a notable transition, one way or the other, after becoming a parent?

]]>http://whattheflicka.com/from-pushover-to-lioness/feed/4Celebrate International Day of the Girlhttp://whattheflicka.com/celebrate-international-day-of-the-girl/
http://whattheflicka.com/celebrate-international-day-of-the-girl/#respondThu, 11 Oct 2012 10:59:15 +0000http://whattheflicka.com/?p=5162When I found out during week 20 of my second pregnancy that I was having a girl, I was over the moon. I remember repeating over and over to myself, “I’m going to have a daughter.” And during the first four years of my daughter’s life, I often found myself repeating, still amazed, “I have a daughter.”

As I write this, she sits on the floor dipping a corndog in ketchup while dressed to the nines in her Little Mermaid garb–including...

]]>When I found out during week 20 of my second pregnancy that I was having a girl, I was over the moon. I remember repeating over and over to myself, “I’m going to have a daughter.” And during the first four years of my daughter’s life, I often found myself repeating, still amazed, “I have a daughter.”

As I write this, she sits on the floor dipping a corndog in ketchup while dressed to the nines in her Little Mermaid garb–including the red wig. I look at her and revel in awe. She realizes I’m staring and says, “I love you, King Triton.” My heart swells and I reply, “I love you more, Ariel.”

Like you all, I too have many dreams for my daughter. She’s just 4 but already I dream about the life-long possibilities in front of her. I dream of the day we celebrate her college graduation. I envision her in many roles as an educated adult. Renowned concert pianist. Accomplished brain surgeon. Prima ballerina assoluta. Brilliant teacher. CEO. Philanthropist. Successful entrepreneur. Loving mother. Leader of the free world.

When my daughter asks me what she will be when she grows up, I can confidently tell her the sky is the limit and there will be no glass ceilings to break.

I’m thankful for the opportunities my daughter has waiting for her as she grows and learns. And I’m thankful for International Day of the Girl.

What Is International Day of the Girl?

The United Nations General Assembly adopted a resolution in 2011 to establish October 11 as International Day of the Girl Child. The purpose is worldwide recognition of girls’ rights and the challenges girls face globally. This year’s focus is ending child marriage.

The Facts

Every year, 10 million girls in developing countries are forced or coerced into marriage.

Every 3 seconds, another girl is forced or coerced to marry.

1 in 7 is married before they reach the age of 15.

These girls are taken out of school, isolated from friends and forced into motherhood.

The leading cause of death for young women aged 15-19 in developing countries is pregnancy.

Jennifer James wrote at Babble.com, “I have two daughters (14 and 11) and if they were born in some cultures in developing countries there is a high probability they would be married by now, have little education, or would even be young mothers. Those are absolutely terrifying notions for me to fathom, and yet that is the reality for millions upon millions of girls around the world.” I couldn’t agree more with Jennifer’s sentiments—our daughters are blessed with opportunity.

Learn more about CARE’s End Child Marriage campaign and get involved. CARE is one of the world’s largest private international humanitarian organizations.

Participate in 10x10act.org’s International Day of the Girl 12-hour Tweet-A-Thon on Twitter by following the hashtag #IDG2012.

And don’t forget to check out the Empire State Building if you have a chance. My beloved Bree Van de Kamp aka Marcia Cross, along with Plan representatives, will illuminate the ESB pink and white in honor of the first annual International Day of the Girl.

We hope you will join us today and every day in supporting, celebrating and working to advance the lives of girls worldwide.

]]>http://whattheflicka.com/celebrate-international-day-of-the-girl/feed/0Sacrificing Your Mommy-Only Retreathttp://whattheflicka.com/sacrificing-your-mommy-only-retreat/
http://whattheflicka.com/sacrificing-your-mommy-only-retreat/#respondMon, 20 Aug 2012 15:53:50 +0000http://whattheflicka.com/?p=3807Several years ago, I finally acquired the bathtub of my dreams. It had been a long time coming. I had to sacrifice square feet in the master bedroom but it was worth it because my tranquil spa-like, mommy-only retreat featuring an amazing tub was far more important. My dream was, of course, before I realized there would be no escape from my kids’ demands—not ever. I’ve been in my magnificent tub maybe a half dozen times. Probably less.

]]>Several years ago, I finally acquired the bathtub of my dreams. It had been a long time coming. I had to sacrifice square feet in the master bedroom but it was worth it because my tranquil spa-like, mommy-only retreat featuring an amazing tub was far more important. My dream was, of course, before I realized there would be no escape from my kids’ demands—not ever. I’ve been in my magnificent tub maybe a half dozen times. Probably less.

There is good news, though. The tub is now getting the attention it so deserves. Over this past year, my 4 year-old daughter has staked a claim. In the end, I gladly gifted it to her. Here’s why: I have an 18 year-old son and since teen boys are notorious for their scary-teenage-boy-stuff, I’m good with not sitting on the floor in the kids’ very small, shared bathroom each night during bath time.

My daughter and I made an honest effort to use the guest bathroom tub, too. No dice. For some reason and I still don’t know why, it was just too intimidating for her. I reasoned further that if we received an actual guest, it would be unavailable to us anyway. That left just one more option in our home. My dream tub. I carefully weighed the pros and cons. And caved.

Shortly after giving in, I discovered one awesome benefit for me that came along with the transfer of bathtub ownership. I can now enjoy a longer, almost uninterrupted shower. In our new bathing routine, we add bubble bath and a bazillion toys to a small amount of water. I then watch my daughter enjoy her bath from just a few feet away while I enjoy a now more satisfying shower. It’s a win-win. I do lose my mommy-only retreat but I gain time to actually wash my hair. At this point, I’ll take whatever I can get.

For those about to judge, please don’t. I’m not leaving my child unattended in the bath. I can clearly see my little darling just a few feet away as she revels in the pink bubbles and soaks up her time in the big girl tub. Now that is a real Calgon moment. It’s just not mine.

]]>http://whattheflicka.com/sacrificing-your-mommy-only-retreat/feed/0Life Happens, Then You Move Forward Againhttp://whattheflicka.com/life-happens-then-you-move-forward-again/
http://whattheflicka.com/life-happens-then-you-move-forward-again/#respondSat, 04 Aug 2012 03:35:43 +0000http://whattheflicka.com/?p=3564My blogging endeavors aren’t about motherhood but rather womanhood. And for me, that includes motherhood and so much more. So as I begin to process my thoughts on the present and look forward to the future, I may be writing some posts and articles that do not include mention of my darling children, though they're always the center of my universe.
Divorce is one of the most difficult life experiences. It’s easy to get caught up in who-can-hurt-the-other-more combat. It’s hard to keep things in proper perspective. And most importantly, when it comes to children of divorcing parents, it’s imperative to always remember to do what’s in their best interest.

]]>My posts have been few and far between of late and writing this one nearly broke me. I had to walk away. I dug my heels into my fiction reading addiction and kept my nose buried there, refusing to think or write.

I’d been distracted and inattentive for weeks. I’d been remiss. I failed to share my wonderful margarita-filled Mothers Day. I failed to share my daughter’s first ballet recital and my first experience as a dance mom backstage. Worse, I failed to share my son’s one and only high school graduation. Amazing moments and milestones—all certainly worthy of being shared.

My daughter kicked me in the panties one night recently. Let me tell you, my 4 year-old sounded like a 40 year-old and she really let me have it. Immediately after her brief but effective daughter-to-mom lecture, she curled up on top of me, said a sleepy goodnight and quickly drifted off to sleep. And then I cried. She was right. I had let her down and that’s something she’d never before experienced with me. After I finished my cry, and ate not one but two chocolate bars, I was finally inspired to pick up my beloved MacBook Air and write.

Life happens. Sometimes it sneaks up on us and gives a little tap on the shoulder. Sometimes it takes us by surprise because we allow ourselves to practice denial. And then sometimes it actually slaps us across the face.
I had my face slapped by life back in April when I received a letter at our home from my husband’s attorney informing me there would be a divorce. Then I allowed myself to be bullied for the following few months. Not to worry, I’ve since bucked up and reinstated my 2012 new year’s resolution—be fearless.

My blogging endeavors aren’t about motherhood but rather womanhood. And for me, that includes motherhood and so much more. So as I begin to process my thoughts on the present and look forward to the future, I may be writing some posts and articles that do not include mention of my darling children, though they’re always the center of my universe.

Divorce is one of the most difficult life experiences. It’s easy to get caught up in who-can-hurt-the-other-more combat. It’s hard to keep things in proper perspective. And most importantly, when it comes to children of divorcing parents, it’s imperative to always remember to do what’s in their best interest.

If you’re going through a divorce currently, or headed that way, I encourage you to be sure you retain an attorney that is suitable for you as an individual. It’s okay to change attorneys if you’re not comfortable with the one you first hire—your life is worth making that correction. I’ve watched my husband’s attorney fuel his fire and seek every opportunity to create more billable actions. On the other hand, my own attorney is an expert at gently talking me down from the inevitable emotional cliffs so that I can make rational, fair decisions.

When life happens, we must find the best way to move forward and find happiness again. As for me, I will no longer be bullied. I won’t let my kids down. I will find peace. I will remove the chocolate bars from my nightstand. And I will write.

]]>http://whattheflicka.com/life-happens-then-you-move-forward-again/feed/0Motherhood Doesn’t Get Easier, You Just Grow Strongerhttp://whattheflicka.com/motherhood-doesnt-get-easier-you-just-grow-stronger/
http://whattheflicka.com/motherhood-doesnt-get-easier-you-just-grow-stronger/#respondThu, 28 Jun 2012 18:27:49 +0000http://whattheflicka.com/?p=3075Motherhood. Parenting. It doesn’t get easier as the years pass, but the good news is you do grow stronger as each goes by. At the same time, it doesn’t get harder either. It becomes filled with variations of the same. It seems there’s quite a mom-debate brewing out there on this very subject and I […]

]]>Motherhood. Parenting. It doesn’t get easier as the years pass, but the good news is you do grow stronger as each goes by. At the same time, it doesn’t get harder either. It becomes filled with variations of the same.

It seems there’s quite a mom-debate brewing out there on this very subject and I find it rather silly to argue about when motherhood is easier or more difficult. As a general rule, I don’t get involved in this type of discussion, but since I’ve been asked numerous times recently to weigh in, here’s my take based on my own personal experience.

Raising my 4 year-old and recently graduated 17 year-old at the same time provides me with the advantage of real time comparisons. I can honestly tell you the difficult-to-answer questions don’t stop coming when your children get older nor do the hard-hitting problems cease to arise. Anxiety and frustration remain. And yes, the loss of sleep for many parents often lingers as well. Your concerns do not lessen — they just change a bit.

Just when you think you’ve conquered sleeping through the night with your toddler, night terrors and unplanned trips to the potty begin for your preschooler.

When you think you’ve conquered sleeping through the night once again, noisy pre-teens that refuse to sleep when you’d like them to happen. As do their I-forgot-it’s-due-tomorrow science projects. Then puberty arrives. And bullying issues surface.

Wait until your children become licensed teenage drivers. Until they come home from an evening out with friends, the house is just too quiet for sleep. Then, the what-if-momster takes advantage of the situation and rears her ugly head. What if he gets into a car accident? What if he drinks and drives? What if he’s getting a girl knocked up right at this moment?

With teens, you can count on daily arguments about everything just as you could count on your toddler’s insistence on requiring explanations for the gazillion “why’s” asked each day.

Back in early May, Holly Pavlika wrote on Momentum.com in her post titled I have been rejected from “motherhood” for the age of my kids:

The teenage years are challenging years for moms with drugs, alcohol, sex, and bullying and just plain growing up questions. Motherhood doesn’t get easier as the children grow up. Motherhood evolves and is just different.

Moms that don’t have teenagers yet frequently feel compelled to tell every other sleep-deprived mom they encounter that it will get easier. Hey, I get it. I’ve been there. I gave that same advice but now I know it was just wishful thinking. Believe me, in several years, these same moms, if being honest with themselves, will likely amend their pep talk just as I did.

Today I explained to my daughter where babies come from and yesterday I talked to my son about being involved responsibly with girls. See? A variation of the same. However, I must say, it is easier to put a 4 year-old in timeout for 4 minutes than it is to spend 40 minutes in an attempt to convince a 6’4” 17 year-old to hand over the car keys and go to his room.

I feel a bit guilty when I think back to my son’s early years and recall my complaining about the difficulties of having a younger child to friends with older children. Now I understand the secret eye-rolls I’d sometimes catch when seeking their sympathy.

Motherhood doesn’t get easier, but fortunately as our children grow, we grow stronger.

]]>http://whattheflicka.com/motherhood-doesnt-get-easier-you-just-grow-stronger/feed/0Can We Have Sex Tonight?http://whattheflicka.com/can-we-have-sex-tonight/
http://whattheflicka.com/can-we-have-sex-tonight/#commentsThu, 07 Jun 2012 21:34:02 +0000http://whattheflicka.com/?p=2753Sex. When you write about life and motherhood, you know it’s going to come up. There are countless topics related to sex and many different reasons to rant write about it. Since the readers at Sweetness of Life & Motherhood had a lot of fun with this post and made it overwhelmingly the most popular, I thought maybe Flicka’s readers might like to have a bit of fun with it too.

During one of my visits to the salon, I overheard a group of women discussing how their husbands and significant others ask for sex...

]]>Sex. When you write about life and motherhood, you know it’s going to come up. There are countless topics related to sex and many different reasons to rant write about it. Since the readers at Sweetness of Life & Motherhood had a lot of fun with this post and made it overwhelmingly the most popular, I thought maybe Flicka’s readers might like to have a bit of fun with it too.

During one of my visits to the salon, I overheard a group of women discussing how their husbands and significant others ask for sex. Literally.

“Can we have sex tonight?”

I didn’t join the conversation to commiserate for the sake of my husband’s anonymity in our little burb. But let me just say this for the record, mine does it too. It irritates me to no end. And it usually earns him an instant no.

Yes, dear. I’m up to my elbows in shit plunging this toilet and while you poking your head into the bathroom for the third time isn’t irritating at all, and because this time you’ve asked, “Can we have sex tonight?” again, I’m completely aroused. Yes. Yes, we can have sex tonight.

Here’s a seemingly common situation that ultimately drives the question; an obvious check mark made next to a completed item on a prehistoric honey-do list. Yes, dear. Now that you’ve mowed the overgrown lawn to spare us further scrutiny by our neighbors and because you woke me at 5am to make your coffee before doing so, I’m absolutely stimulated. Yes. Yes, we can have sex tonight. In approximately 14 hours. Right after I finish ten loads of laundry.

Men possess a great sense of timing when it comes to sex. Ahem.

Another ask-you-for-sex method that’s merely an extended version of the original question: “Do you want a glass of wine and can we have sex tonight?” Yes, dear. Because while I’m finishing the dinner dishes, cleaning up countless messes left by not me throughout the house and bathing the baby, you’re actually going to get up and leave your remote to get me that glass of wine. Yes. Yes, we can have sex tonight.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t need to be drunk to have sex. I’m 42. Not 24. And wine now makes me sleepy.

The conversation at the salon soon evolved into a full on discussion when a more youthful client mentioned another common peeve for women. Disgusting man habits. Apparently, her husband has no problem asking for sex while he’s performing his.

I quickly realized she was much too young to know this is customary behavior.

Yes, dear. I’m so glad you asked because having just watched you publicly scratch your balls for the hundredth time is quite the turn on. Yes. Yes, we can have sex tonight.

I’m not an idiot. I know men truly believe they need sex on demand or they’ll die. According to my husband, his life span shortens and his susceptibility to life threatening illness increases exponentially each time I answer his question with no.

Dude, what ever happened to the back-massage-for-coitus-approach? Seriously. I would totally prefer a well-timed quid pro quo tactic.

]]>http://whattheflicka.com/can-we-have-sex-tonight/feed/3How Do I Love Coffee? Let Me Count the ways…http://whattheflicka.com/how-do-i-love-coffee-let-me-count-the-ways/
http://whattheflicka.com/how-do-i-love-coffee-let-me-count-the-ways/#commentsTue, 08 May 2012 17:24:50 +0000http://whattheflicka.com/?p=1857As a child, there wasn’t a day that went by when I didn’t awake to the robust essence of my parents’ morning addiction drifting upstairs from the kitchen. Though I’ve always adored the pleasant aroma of a fresh pot brewing, I didn’t begin drinking coffee until I was 33. The decade since my affair with […]

]]>As a child, there wasn’t a day that went by when I didn’t awake to the robust essence of my parents’ morning addiction drifting upstairs from the kitchen.

Though I’ve always adored the pleasant aroma of a fresh pot brewing, I didn’t begin drinking coffee until I was 33. The decade since my affair with coffee began, has been one of the longest surviving loves in my life, second only to my 17 year-old son.

It began when I accepted a position that required regular travel between Chicago and New York. Initially, I believed I would get by with the occasional Diet Coke in the morning, as I always had. Two weeks into the job, I understood why my colleagues were drinking coffee. I dove right into bold, dark roasts without dipping my toes into lighter varieties to test the waters. I guess that makes sense for me since I’m an all or nothing kind of girl.

Coffee became that “something-more” needed to help me survive the early morning drives to the airport, flight delays, long afternoon meetings, and the late nights that had invaded my life. It became a supportive friend that I could rely on without question.

Years later when my daughter was born and I began my stay-at-home mom career, my reliable friend remained true and provided the much needed support motherhood requires. And it’s stainless steel maker provided shiny entertainment for my newborn when I was desperate to brew my fix. We hit some bumps along the way during the pregnancy, but made it through in the end.

I’ve only recently realized how important my relationship with coffee has become. It’s my security blanket. When I’m in an uncomfortable situation, a mug of coffee keeps my hands busy so I don’t fidget nervously and give my too prideful self away. When necessary, holding a coffee mug just so, is a strategic plan to hide the, always present, I’m-a-mommy, stain on my blouses. When I don’t know the answer to one of my kids’ questions, taking a sip of coffee allows me to steal a moment in order to come up with something. Best of all, coffee simply has a way with bringing busy friends and family together for conversation.