Time Travel: What I Would Tell Eighteen Year Old Kimba (Not That She Would Listen)

I was recently having lunch with a friend and we were discussing her current work as a college professor. She asked why I hadn’t gone back to the college classroom. Yep, I was once an Adjunct Professor; I know – shocking! I lamented that I loved teaching, but I just haven’t had the time to return to campus. To be honest, it would take quite a bit of effort to get up to speed on everything that has developed in criminology over the past two decades. That seems like a lot of work and I’m just not as ambitious as I used to be.

This also got us to talking about how much things in general have changed since I was a college freshman over thirty years ago. When you start to reflect back, the view from the middle-aged cheap seats sure is fascinating. If I could go back in time, and have a conversation with my former eighteen year old self, there are a few things I would want to tell her:

1.Don't worry about the money. Money issues tend to work themselves out. You can continue to be frugal, just like your Nana, but don’t let worrying about finances define you as a person.

2.Your kid brother is a great guy. At 18 you think he is a pain in the ass. At 48 you think he is amazing.

3.Start using moisturizer. IMMEDIATELY. Come to think of it; make it a moisturizer with sun block – at least SPF 15.

4.Wait for lightning to strike. It’s a bit difficult to believe at 18, but some day you will be struck by lightning – someone will rock your world and you will go weak at the knees and you will understand what all the fuss is about. Don’t settle for anything less than being swept full force off your feet; it’s worth the wait.

5.Love FSU. Florida State may not be your first choice for the school you want to attend, but you are going to become one of its biggest fans and you will absolutely fall in love with FSU. GO NOLES!

6.Your life will not turn out as expected. You won't be a lawyer. I know you're a Virgo and you're going to obsessively plan. Doesn't matter; when you least expect it life is going to take a few surprising turns. That's just the way it works. But it sure makes things interesting.

7.Don't listen to unnecessary criticism. A freshman English professor is going to tell you that you have no writing talent. She is an idiot and thirty years later you won’t even remember her name.

8.In ten yearsinvest in something called the "Internet." Trust me.

9.Be more adventurous. That offer for those free back-stage passes to the Prince concert, the ones you are going to turn down because you have to study: TAKE THEM. Prince is going to be huge.

10.Wear a better bra. Some day you are going to regret that lack of support.

So friends, let me hear from you. If you could go back and have a conversation with your eighteen year old self, what advice would you give her? She won’t seem to listen, but it would be worth the effort anyway, don’t you think?

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1. You will never be able to spell. You, however, can misspell a word five different ways in just one document. Now that's creativity!
2. When you are twenty you will think you know everything. You are wrong.
3. You will go through experiences in life that feels like hell. I shall not counsel you on how to avoid the gauntlet. Pure gold is at the end of the rainbow. The lessons you will learn steel you, hone you and make you sharp as a ninja's sword–until menopause.
4. Menopause really sucks.

1 Try to talk Kimba out of going to FSU… Otherwise you'll never hear the end of it. Oh, and encourage her to write. She's really good…
2 If you are ever driving an old VW home from an out of state debate camp with a girl you don't know very well, bring enough money for a hotel room in case you have car trouble…

i don't know which of these is funnier! had totally forgotten about the vw bug story! and you don't think i would be anything but a nole, do you?? careful or i'l talk one of your boys into becoming a seminole!!

Parents: Listen to their advise and absorb their knowledge, they really do know what is best for you.Love: Wait, your true love will come, maybe not till your on your second marriage but you will be truly happy and in love.
Don't let people you don't know and people that don't know you, hurt your feelings, Life is too short. Live life to the fullest, it goes by in the wink of an eye. Always try to be happy.Heart: Follow your heart and do what you want, not what other people want for you. Listen to your Heart. Make some mistakes and learn from them.

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Beaches, Bathrooms, and Books!

What kind of bum are you: beach or bowl?

Kimba’s books have been called both “beach reads” and “bathroom reads.” She prefers beach reads, but hey, if the size 11 shoe fits…Read More...

Kim Dalferes’ Latest Book…

Crazy Southern Irish Gal Two-Book Bundle

Humor writer Kimberly “Kimba” Dalferes dishes on a wide variety of topics–from days of her youth spent blissfully on the shores of Florida’s beaches to menopause and empty nests–in her nonfiction collection Crazy Southern Irish Gal Two-Book Bundle. In both titles: I Was In Love With a Short Man Once and Magic Fishing Panties, Dalferes’ crazy Southern Irish gal perspective inspires her illustrations of life’s quirky twists and turns. Together, these books offer descriptive and colorful essays on subjects such as getting a tattoo in midlife, unique uses for kitty litter, handling a rabid bat, public speaking gone wrong, and naked hot-tubbing in Vegas. Dalferes skillfully weaves what at first glance may appear to be dissimilar themes into a tapestry that invokes her life’s motto: live out loud, laugh often, and ‘occasionally’ drink tequila. Now available through Amazon Kindle.