Alpha Female Moves Most Men Don’t Understand

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Men, you should be so lucky to have an alpha female take an interest in you. But perhaps “lucky” isn’t the word. If an alpha female wants to be with you, then that means you’ve done a pretty great job in the personal work department. Alpha females don’t really make room for bullsh*t. They aren’t attracted to anyone who isn’t completely confident in himself, but they also won’t tolerate cockiness. Not even a little. Alpha females have a way of seeing right through you, and they’re not afraid to tell you what they see. If you can handle being with an alpha female, then you’re probably a pretty solid man. That being said, most men out there aren’t used to alpha female behavior. Here is some alpha female behavior most men do not understand (but should get used to).

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She doesn’t laugh if it isn’t funny

If you’re used to having your ego stroked by female companions who will giggle, out of obligation, every time you seem to think you’ve said something funny, get ready for a shock. The alpha female does not laugh if she doesn’t genuinely find something funny. She isn’t trying to be mean: she just doesn’t believe in giving false positive feedback, or being a flatterer.

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She won’t pretend to like anything

Your alpha female isn’t going to say, “Sounds good!” to whatever bar or restaurant you suggest for a date. She is going to pull up Yelp in front of you to read the reviews. If she deems the place unsuited for her, she is going to look up something else and give you fact-based reasons it’s better. If she is already familiar with a place you suggest, and she knows she doesn’t like it, she’ll tell you, “I don’t like that place.” This can be shocking for some men who are used to demure women who will suffer date spots they don’t like, just to be agreeable.

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She won’t pretend to like anyone

Alpha females show you exactly how they feel about you. They won’t smile in the face of people who don’t make them happy. They won’t ask how someone is doing when they don’t care how that person is doing. They don’t go out of their way to be mean to someone if they don’t like them, but they won’t go out of their way to be nice, either.

They accept compliments completely

If you were expecting some bashful, “Who? Me? Nah. I’m nothing special” when you complimented an alpha female, you’re in for a surprise. Alpha females have no problem accepting compliments. They don’t feel the need to balance them out by putting themselves down when paid a compliment. They’ll look you in the eye, agree with you and say, “Thank you.” Our messed up society has come to identify this as cockiness when it’s really just the absence of insecurity.

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She doesn’t appease petty emotions

If someone is being childish, selfish or irrational, the alpha female doesn’t bend over backward to appease this person. She tells them they are being childish, selfish or irrational. She tells them how things are going to be, regardless of their immature emotions, and she demands they deal with it. In other words, if you’re dating an alpha female and are jealous that she has a male friend you don’t get to act petty or passive aggressive. You can get with the program, or get out.

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She calls out subtle misogyny

She doesn’t sit in silence or laugh along when men make subtly misogynistic jokes. She considers it her duty, as a female, to squash this type of thinking and she knows that by sitting silently, she indirectly encourages that type of thinking. She doesn’t mind if she blows up a social situation or makes people uncomfortable by telling you you’re being misogynistic and correcting your thinking.

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She tells people what she really thinks of them

If someone asks an alpha female what she thinks of them, she is going to tell them, so don’t ask if you’re not ready for the real answer. Alpha females can be tremendous mirrors, ready to show accurate reflections of who you are. Alpha females don’t couch comments or try to spin a negative trait as a positive one. If they think you are a less-than-great person, they’ll tell you so, and they’ll tell you why. Hey—you asked.

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She doesn’t care if people like her

Alpha females speak their truth, behave the way they are happy behaving and do the things they are happy doing. Not only do they not care if people judge them for being themselves, they hope people judge them. And then they hope the people who judged them negatively go away. Alpha females know that being yourself is the best filter for getting people who don’t belong in your life, out of your life.

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She doesn’t compare herself

Don’t be shocked if you tell an alpha female that some other woman who is trying to do the same thing as her has made X amount of progress and she says, “So?” Alpha females don’t compare themselves to other women or compare women to themselves.

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She walks away when things don’t feel right

If you wrong an alpha female, there will be little wiggle room for apologizing. Alpha females see through BS right away. If you reschedule a first date with an alpha female several times, she won’t give you another chance. And she’s right.

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She calls out the elephant in the room or relationship

Alpha females call out destructive or inhibiting dynamics the moment they recognize them. For example, if an alpha female is in a relationship with a man who she doesn’t believe will ever love her, she will say, “I don’t think you’ll ever love me. Is this true?” She doesn’t wait around, hoping the answer will come to her, or that things will change.

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They put their life and interests first

An alpha female is not going to cancel an activity that is very important to her to make you happy unless you are very important to her. So, if you’ve only been dating an alpha female for a few weeks, do not expect her to bail on her meditation class because you’re in the mood to go out for drinks. You haven’t earned the spot in her life yet where she cancels things for you.

They don’t do almost-relationships

Alpha females don’t waste time on almost relationships. They like labels. They don’t care if this makes them come off as “having no chill.” They know that labels remove the possibility of reckless behavior like “accidental cheating.” They know that if a man isn’t willing to put a label on things after three to six months, he never will.

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They call out social injustice

If an alpha female sees someone cut someone in line, she’ll speak up. If an alpha female notices a teenager doesn’t give up his seat on the bus to an elderly individual, she’ll speak up. If this type of behavior embarrasses you then don’t date an alpha female.

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They demand your full attention

Alpha females will not tolerate you texting while they talk to you, or even clearly tuning out while they speak. They’ll ask if they have your full attention. If they do not, they’ll ask that you let them know when they do, and then they’ll start talking again. If you think you can multitask when speaking to an alpha female—like by answering emails while listening—you are mistaken.