Last night's TV

Once upon a time, a family of badgers lived in the grounds of a grand old house in a steep Devonshire valley.

They had a pretty happy life, these badgers - playing in the woods, sniffing about the place, snuggling up together in the sett, snoring.

And scratching, lots and lots of scratching, because badgers love to scratch.

When they were hungry, they went scrumping apples from the manor's ancient orchard, foraging for wild cherries and elderberries, and digging with their sharp claws and snuffly snouts for their favourite food in the whole wide world: worms. Big, fat, juicy earthworms. Yum.

That's not exactly how the narration for Badgers: Secrets of the Sett went, but that's how it felt. Like a children's book. And guess who was reading?

Only Attenborough himself. A lovely bedtime story about a family of badgers, read by Sir David A. Does life get any better?

Or, if that's not really your thing, you could look at it in a different way, as Badger Big Brother, because they had hidden cameras all round the wood, and right down in the depths of the sett.

So, as well as watching them snoring and scratching, we got to see them squabbling and fighting, and getting jiggy, too - itchy, snuffly badger sex.

Perhaps they should have been given a diary room and a few tasks to make it more interesting - because the scratching gets a bit boring after a while, and even the badger sex doesn't really do it for me.

At least they could have given them a hot tub down there, to liven things up a bit.

Actually, I would have liked one of those how-we-did-it postcripts - you know, like they do on Life in Cold Blood, where they show you how they film it all.

A badger sett is an amazing labyrinth that goes three storeys under the ground, and has 300 metres of tunnels and chambers.

I would have liked to know how they managed to film down there. Maybe Sir David found a bottle with "Drink Me" written on it. He drunk and shrunk, and then down he went. Like Alice.

I hope it doesn't sound like I'm complaining, and that I didn't appreciate the badgers. It was lovely, whichever way you look at it.