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Tuesday, October 18, 2011

The Witchified Wunder of Candy Corn

October 30th is National Candy Corn Day and internet history tells us it was created in the 1800s by the Wunderlee Candy Company. Later (say the various histories) it was made by the Goelitz Candy Company (who became Jelly Belly), and they have produced it ever since.

Nowhere but here can you learn the true history of candy corn. You see, it was actually created by witches around the beginning of the 15th century. Back then, witches were struggling with a lot of bad press and suffering a lot of persecution. People feared them, distrusted them, and suspected them whenever anything went wrong. Being the 15th century, of course, PLENTY went wrong on a daily basis.

So a coven of woodland witches west of Warsaw started brewing different concoctions in their cauldrons. They wanted to create something tasty and utterly lacking in any meaning that could be interpreted in an anti-witch fashion. Using mystical dyes and sugar imported by broomstick, they started making candies. The shapes were problematic since most any shape they came up with could end up even more witch anti-witch connotations.

But one day a witch named Xochitl, who flew in from South America, brought some ears of corn. The witches in question figured the shape of a corn kernel was safe, and they created a candy shaped like a very large kernel of corn.

Since red and green had more symbolic connotations, all of which could be used against witches, they made their candies orange, yellow, and white, with sucessive teams of witches creating each layer.

Just as they were about to premier their concoction in France, there was a new wave of witch-burnings. The witches decided to keep the candy corn for themselves and find a nice quiet place to live until the uproar died down. They found a serene little town in the south of France, disguised themselves as nuns, and pretended they had taken a vow of silence until life became safer for them.

The anti-witch uproar, of course, did not die down for centuries, and eventually the recipe was lost.

Finally, while searching for cave paintings, an explorer in the south of France came across the recipe. He sent it to a maiden aunt in Wichita who the neighborhood children suspected of being a witch. He thought it would cheer her up and perhaps, with it, she could allay the fears of the suspicious youths. She made a batch but, while her candy corn was cooling, the recipe blew out the door, ending up at the Wunderlee Candy Company.

The Wunderlees never suspected it of being a witch recipe, and merely thought it to be a wonderful bit of good fortune. And the rest is internet history.