They said I had to go out with him. They said it didn’t matter that I had a boyfriend (since they new we were having issues and I was on the other side of the country.) They said he was a great guy.They said he was divorced. They said he looked like George Hamilton. They were wrong.

Lucy (Jennie), You’ve Got Some Splainin to Do…

I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. It’s true. We had been dating long distance between Dallas and Austin and, next thing I knew, I found myself in Milwaukee for the summer.

We were struggling. We came from different religious backgrounds. He didn’t know if he ever wanted to get married. But we loved being together. And we loved each other.

We knew we had long term issues. He preferred to pretend they didn’t exist. I was tormented by them. And, here I was, across the country from him, struggling.

For the record, I told him about the blind date the same day it happened. I felt incredibly guilty. I felt like my arm had been twisted and I had been pushed into this situation. And, boy was it not worth it…

Triple Threat

There were three primary issues with my George Hamilton look-a-like.

Inappropriate Conversation

George LAL (look-a-like) lived in Chicago so he was undertaking a reasonable drive to come see me. He called when he was on his way to chat and give me a head’s up on his progress.

Very thoughtful! However, the conversation took a pretty strange turn when I mentioned that I had a cat.

His quick reply:

That means I can ask you if you’re stroking your p@$$y.

Huh? What did he just say? I was in shock. Who says that? And, to someone they’ve never met before? I was speechless and told him as much. He said something about a line from Johnny Carson. I was appalled.

I’ve never heard that.Oh.

We should have cut our losses there. But, then came part two of the frustrating triumvirate that made this date a terrible idea.

George Harrison… where?

They said he looked like George Harrison. George Harrison is tan with a nice smile and a great head of hair. George LAL was a caricature version in reverse. Instead of having lots of hair, George LAL had minimal, thinning hair. Instead of a great tan, George LAL was pretty pale (due to Chicago winters, I’m sure). And, instead of being filled out, he was a slight, incredibly thin guy. I know this sounds shallow but the point isn’t about his looks per se, it’s about the fact I was shoved into this date on the pretense of a number of things, including his strong resemblance to George Harrison. A lie.

But then came the clincher.

Married with Children

It turns out that George LAL was in the process of a divorce. Kind of a big deal. The guy was still married and no one seemed to think they needed to tell me. That’s just wrong. And then he mentioned his kid. George LAL had a son.

Moral of the Story

Don’t push me into going out with someone when I have a boyfriend. Be honest about what the guy is and isn’t. And, know your audience. I am not the kind of girl to use the P-word with. Ever.

If only I could say this were my only blind date with a good story… but, if I could, then this blog might be boring one day. And there are so many stories that still haven’t been told.