Funny Money: What lawyers worry about

What do lawyers have in common with a holiday about wildfires? They're both funny enough for this post.

1. This isn’t a lawyer joke

A legal staffing firm called Robert Half was very pleased with the results of its latest survey: “Lawyers are more concerned with making an impact than getting ahead financially.”

Is that really what lawyers worry about? We were skeptical. So we dug into the results a little deeper. While 26 percent of the 350 lawyers interviewed said “doing meaningful work is their greatest legal career concern,” 20 percent said they worried most about “benefits,” 14 percent fretted about “compensation,” and 2 percent were focused on “business generation.”

So that’s 26 percent for meaningful work, 26 percent for money. Nothing wrong with that, but it’s not quite honest. And that’s why there are so many lawyer jokes.

2. Checkmate on savings accounts

If you want to save money, forget your savings accounts. Interest rates are so low, you’re better off keeping your money in a checking account, according to new research from GoBankingRates.com.

Why would banks pay more interest for checking accounts than for savings accounts?

“Banks and credit unions today are able to offer these higher rates on checking accounts because 15 percent of account holders are still regularly overdrawing and incurring a substantial fee, which financial institutions rely on for revenue,” says Jennifer Calonia, GOBankingRates senior editor.

Basically, banks are paying you a little more in hopes you’ll screw up and pay them a lot more.

3. Lost time, lost lighters

Why would a company that makes cigarette lighters poll Americans about “The Top 5 most commonly lost items”? Because after pen and money is lighter.

The makers of Zippo lighters has calculated, “Americans spend an average of 903 hours of their lives looking for lost items.” Even worse, “Zippo found that 68 percent of Zippo lighter owners in the United States have lost their lighter.” Or maybe that’s better for the company.

4. Trashy attitudes

One in every 10 Americans (9 percent) admit to having put their trash into recycling bins or carts when their own trash container was full, and one in five (20 percent) admit they will place an item into a recycling container even if they are not completely sure it is recyclable.