Quiz: Which 'Duck Dynasty' beard fits you?

Bernie Petit

Monday

Feb 25, 2013 at 12:01 AMFeb 25, 2013 at 4:13 PM

The beards are back.

The third season of “Duck Dynasty,” which quickly became one of cable television’s top-rated shows after debuting two years ago, premieres at 10 p.m. Wednesday on A&E. The reality show follows the Robertsons , a Louisiana bayou family that owns and operates Duck Commander, a thriving handmade duck call business.

While blood, faith and a love of hunting connects the guys running the family business, their colorful personalities and their thick, distinctive beards are what have made them reality television stars.

So, which beard are you?

To help you figure it out, we’ve got 16 yes or no questions based on the characteristics of the four main beards of the Robertson clan – patriarch Phil, his brother Si and his second- and third-oldest sons, Jase and Willie.

Just answer the short questions below. The beard that elicits the most “yes” answers from you is the one that suits you best. Break any tie by choosing the one quote, or “Duck Call,” that most closely suits your personality or life.

BEARDED QUESTIONS

Beard No. 1

1. Do you hang onto keepsakes for years?

2. Have you been accused of being easily distracted?

3. Do you fancy yourself a good storyteller?

4. Can you get along with just about anyone?

Duck Call: “All of my stories are 95 percent truthful.”

Beard No. 2

1. Are you the first of your friends and family to have the latest gadget?

2. Could you, as the saying goes, sell ice to an Eskimo?

3. Do people listen when you talk?

4. Are you a workaholic?

Duck Call: “I didn’t get the sophisticated gene in this family. I started the sophisticated gene in this family.”

2. Do you do the bare minimum so people don’t expect too much from you?

3. Is sitting behind a desk all day your idea of torture?

4. Do you stretch rules as far as their limits allow?

Duck Call: “When you don’t know what you’re doing, you might as well do it quickly.”

MEET THE BEARDS

Uncle Si

1. Si is known for the plastic blue tea cup he carries around with him; his mother sent it to him while he was serving overseas.

2. The Vietnam vet occasionally gets everyone off schedule by sharing one of his war stories.

3. He sticks to his story – the mark of a good storyteller – even when confronted by contrasting information, like the time he said he’d seen panthers out in the woods, even though others were convinced he’d just seen an everyday cat.

4. That’s just how the laid-back Si is.

Willie

1. He says one of the perks of being “a redneck millionaire” is being able to buy new trucks, swanky suits and the latest devices.

2. As a young boy he sold freshly caught fish at the market with his mom and as an adult he turned his dad’s business into a multimillion dollar operation.

3. He’s is the primary narrator for the show.

4. As the CEO of Duck Commander, Willie occasionally has to refocus everyone on their jobs.

Phil

1. Phil dislikes modern technology and is proud that he doesn’t own a cell phone or a computer.

2. He follows a strict routine of no showering, shaving and clothes washing of any kind during the 10-week duck hunting season to ensure a bountiful haul.

3. He played college football at Louisiana Tech University, starting ahead of Hall-of-Fame quarterback Terry Bradshaw, and turned down an NFL career in part because it interfered with duck season.

4. He created the Duck Commander Duck Call in 1973 because he thought he could build one that was better than what was on the market at the time.

Jase

1. He met his wife, Missy, in high school. The couple has been married more than 20 years.

2. While he could fabricate the duck calls much quicker than he does, he takes his time so as not to raise expectations.

3. He doesn’t like going to the office – he’d rather be out duck hunting.

4. From the age of 8 years old, he spent as much time in the woods as possible, missing the maximum number of days allowed from school each year.

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