An Arts-Filled, Tasty And Sometimes-Loopy Jaunt Through Life

My once-a-week volunteer job at a medical office building across the street from a major hospital and not far from where I live has been, on the whole, fun indeed. I’ve been at the gig for about eight years, and usually look forward to hauling my ass out of bed at 6:30 AM so that I have time to wash up, down a couple of cups of coffee and a bite, and play a few rounds of tiddlywinks with my pet chimp, Chomp. When it comes to tiddlywinks, Chomp almost always wins. Chomp ain’t no chump . . . Chomp’s a champ!

Anyway, back to reality: The job begins at 8:00 AM on Tuesdays. For four hours I man the building’s information desk, which is on the ground level of the structure’s three stories. I handle a fairly wide range of visitors’ questions about doctors’ offices, the locations of bathrooms, payment options for the parking garage nearby on the grounds, etc. And I try to untangle situations that visitors aren’t sure how to resolve. You wouldn’t believe, for instance, how many of our fellow citizens can’t find their cars in the parking garage or their spouses who were supposed to meet them in the main lobby near my desk.

The infamous information desk

Like I said, I get a kick from the job, from helping people out to be specific. Hell, plenty of folks have helped me out over the last many decades. It’s only fair for me to do my wee share in keeping that mode of behavior alive and prosperous.

Two Tuesdays ago, aka the 23rd of January, wasn’t a typical day at the ranch though. There was plenty of the usual, yes. But two incidents definitely were outliers. And they’ve stuck in my mind. I was a helper-outer in one of them but not in the other. Yours truly is now about to send recaps of the events into cyberspace.

It was a dreary, rainy day. The skies had sent down billions of gallons of water by 10:00 AM, at which time the rains slowed to a medium drizzle. It was around that time that a guy came up to me at my post to let me know that the toilet in the men’s room had overflowed and that a fragrant pool of water was all over the floor.

“I’m on it,” I said, and called the housekeeping and maintenance departments. The former’s charge was to clean up the mess, the latter’s was to unclog the toilet. And I taped a note to the loo’s door, advising the males of my species that the room was out of service and that additional facilities could be found upstairs.

The worker from housekeeping arrived first, not long after I placed the call. In the midst of doing his thing he came out into the lobby, hands wisely encased in bright yellow rubber gloves. One of those hands was holding a small rolled-up black umbrella. He looked my way and hoisted the contraption.

“Somebody left this in the bathroom,” he said. “Should I put it somewhere? Trash it?”

Into the narrow thigh-high trash can near the elevators the umbrella went. Another piece of whatever destined for a landfill.

The infamous trash can

Forty minutes later the conditions outside worsened. I could hear heavy rains coming down, though from where I was standing I couldn’t see them. A fellow I’d noticed earlier entering the building was now about to leave, his medical appointment completed. He went out the main door and seconds later came back inside. “It’s pouring like crazy out there,” he said. I took a few strides to position myself at a better vantage point and had to agree with his statement. The waters were descending in incredibly thick sheets.

“Do you have an umbrella I can borrow?” he asked. Right, like I’d ever see my umbrella again if I handed it over. And that’s when I remembered the trash can. “Hold on, ” I said. I walked down the lobby to the receptacle and stuck my right hand inside. It was a tight fit. Wouldn’t it make more sense for a trash can to have a wide opening rather than a narrow one? Its manufacturer forgot to consult with me before starting production. Undaunted, I fished around, trying to disengage the umbrella’s spokes from the confines and eventually had success.

“Here you go,” I said to the guy, extending the prize catch towards him. “It’s yours.” He took it and away he went, seemingly unimpressed by what had just occurred. Me, I thought it pretty uproarious that the buried and left-for-dead umbrella, as quick as that, had been resurrected. What were the odds?

The morning progressed. Plenty of people came up to me with one question or problem or another. Around 11:15 a guy ambled down the hall. When he reached my area he asked me if there was anywhere in the building he could get a cup of coffee. I got the impression that he had time to kill. He probably was waiting to drive a patient, probably his wife, home from a procedure, which probably was a colonoscopy.

“There’s vending machines one floor above us,” I told him. “Sodas, chips, candies and stuff like that. But nothing hot. If you want coffee you’ll have to go across the street to the hospital cafeteria.” While I was telling him this, a cardiologist walked by and went into her office. Dr. **, who never wears a white coat or any other garment that would identify her as a doctor, smiled and waved at me, as she always does when she passes the info desk. She’s a really nice person.

The guy shrugged and was about to amble back to wherever it was he came from. That’s when a loud and clear “Sir, are you desperate for a cup of coffee?” filled the lobby. A second later Dr. ** appeared. The guy didn’t know who she was, but he wasn’t about to turn down a gift. “Follow me,” she said, and led him into her office suite. “I’ll get some coffee for you.”

A few minutes later the recipient passed my way, cup in hand. “It’s your lucky day,” I said to him, adding that his benefactor is a physician. What were the odds that the only doc within a 50-mile radius who would do such a thing would overhear my conversation with him? I mean, when was the last time a doctor gave you anything, unless it was a sample of hemorrhoid cream or something like that?

But, like the guy upon whom I’d bestowed a hidden and seemingly doomed umbrella, Mister Coffee didn’t appear to be overly amazed. “She is?” he answered blandly, and disappeared down the hall.

But I was amazed. Tuesday the 23rd, a day in which I was reminded that expecting the unexpected isn’t a farfetched stance at all, struck me as being very right. Right as rain, so to speak.

(Don’t be shy about adding your comments or about sharing this story on Twitter, Facebook and the like. Gracias.)

Until I saw the caption on the first photo, I was worried. I thought maybe your information desk was like the one Marty DiBergi was given after he released his rockumentary “This is Spinal Tap.” It was stuck into a curved wall just outside the men’s room. Glad you have some breathing room.

A couple of fortuitous happenings and glad you could make them into an amusing story. I like the sound of your volunteering job – Hopefully I might be able to take one on in due course once I am less busy with other things. I miss people being at home all day – You certainly come across a lot of them, from all walks of life, in your job.

I too thought the umbrella owner would be coming to you for help in locating his “lost” item. Lovely read. I need to get busy and write again but tonight trying to catch up on Italian homework. It takes quite a bit longer for my grey matter to absorb stuff that matters!

A couple of fortuitous happenings – but they needed kind people (you and the Dr) to work. Information Desks are probably the same the world over. When I worked in a library, for every complex bibliographic request I got there were about 10 “where are the toilets” or “can I borrow a pen” type requests. Not very stimulating, but it least I could help!

Definitely sounds like an exciting day at the office! And it’s good to know there are still kind people in the world who are willing to go above and beyond to help others. (I’m including you in this category, since you were willing to fish an umbrella out of a trash can to help someone in need….) Nice post!

That statement, I admit, brought me to a COMPLETE standstill. Look forward to getting out of bed at an hour too obscene to mention? Okay, we must all learn to live peaceably together, and respect one another’s quirks.

“You wouldn’t believe, for instance, how many of our fellow citizens can’t find their cars in the parking garage or their spouses who were supposed to meet them in the main lobby near my desk.”

I believe you have just explained how it is we have The Rump in the White House.

To sum up, I enjoyed this little window into your life and the story of the resurrected umbrella cheered my heart. With the waste of our oceans, The Rump threatening to drill on our coastlines, and Capetown, South Africa in danger of literally running out of water, I am extremely sensitive about folks tossing stuff away without thought. That you rescued this umbrella, and gave it a new life, shows beyond doubt that you are one of the world’s great souls.

I work in retail and aswell as sell stuff, I find I’m tourist information, traffic news, weather reporter, lost property office, restaurant recommendation and counseller. The general public can certainly stretch the skill set. And nothing lovelier than being able to do something nice for someone. P.S. I’ve given you a shout out in my last post 😉

Hello there. Yeah, the hospital has a volunteer corps made up of old geezers like me who are looking for a decent way to pass their time. Volunteers have all sorts of assignments in the hospital and its associated buildings, such as the one I wrote about here.
The umbrella looked clean. I don’t think it had fallen in the toilet!
Yup, this doctor is very friendly. A real nice lady.

This was a very delightful read if something that you hardly would exact as you rightly mentioned.. ‘ it’s like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for’. A lovely post.