We have nothing in common. Can our relationship survive?

They say opposites attract, and if they do what keeps them together when they have nothing in common?…

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Photo by j.o.h.n. walker via CCL

Por: Rebecca West04 diciembre 2012

They say opposites attract, and if they do what keeps them together when they have nothing in common? Finding common ground beyond sex in any relationship is important. After all the flames surrounding the lust you feel for one another eventually lessen, and then you’re left with the more solid foundation of mutual love and respect for one another, most likely based on the things you have in common. Shared interests and activities are how we form bonds.

First off, communicate to your partner your concern for your lack of shared interests, and see if he agrees with your assessment of the situation. He may think everything is perfectly fine and sees no need to change anything. If this is his take on things ask him if he feels you can sustain your relationship long term, as in years, with nothing in common. If he agrees this probably isn’t very likely then the two of you should sit down and agree to try at least one or two new things each week to see what you might enjoy doing together. The worst that could happen is that you each find some new hobbies or activities you’d like to pursue, even if it’s not together. Eventually, you’re bound to find something you share a common interest in.

If he resists and claims there’s nothing wrong with your relationship the way it is, then you have some tough questions ahead of you. Successfully staying in a relationship with nothing in common isn’t impossible or unheard of, but these relationships are probably dependent on not spending much time together. Long-distance relationships can sometimes survive this way, but they seldom flourish. And when couples are suddenly forced to share the same living space, the realization that they’re getting on each other’s nerves can come as a surprise. Tell him how much this means to you and try and get him on board whether he feels it’s necessary or not.

So you’ve found at least one thing besides sex that you have in common. Is this enough to keep you going? Absolutely; if you truly love each other and are committed to making it work. Some couples have stayed together with much less to work with, so remain positive and stay the course. If you’ve found one thing, you’re sure to find others eventually. Nothing says you have to agree on everything, but this is a start. This kind of progress should serve to show you both that you’re willing to pitch in and work together when it counts, and this is a great sign. Working together as a team is a significant step towards staying together when you previously had nothing in common.

Is there such a thing as enough is enough? If you’re referring to enough common interests, then as long as you share one thing besides intimacy the answer is yes. Many successful long-term relationships have been based on one common passion, besides that which you emanate in bed. If you’re thinking of whether or not to call it quits because you just can’t seem to find any common ground whatsoever, only you can decide the breaking point for your time together. This is a decision you’ll have to make for yourself. No one other than you can decide whether years of having nothing in common is the death knell for your relationship.