Lost At School

I don't get it! I'm confused! The teacher doesn't like me! The work is too hard! No
one understands me! Kids would rather do things they like than take
responsibility. They tend to look for an easier way out rather than put
in the time and dedication to do what's necessary to get good grades.
Some kids would rather play instead of work hard. So they come up with
several "excuses" or "reason's" why they can't do something. How do we move our kids to action? What could be holding them back? Whose at fault here?

No Perfect Child

First you have to realize that there is no perfect child. As parents, you may be a perfectionist, but your child is not. You should not force your child to be perfect in every area of their lives. This will only frustrate your child causing your child to stress out and lash out against you or others. Telling your child that you do not expect anything less than perfect in school is like placing a time bomb inside of them. When they experience the first sign of failure or disappointment, they will be ready to explode. You're forcing your kids to see life only in black or white leaving nothing in-between. Setting the bar too high for your kids is setting them up for failure and a lot of anxiety. After all, you are not perfect even though you may like to think you are. If you set the bar too high for you kids, this will also cause your kids to think that their teachers do not like them if they fail or score low on a test. They will come up with a lot of excuses as to why they were not able to do their homework or shun away from studying or people.

Find out why your kids are lost in school. If you determine that you are not the cause of the problem then find out what is by talking to your child or teacher to see what can be done to help your child succeed in school. If your child is spending all his/her time studying without any recreation, then you need to make some immediate adjustment. Kids should be allowed recreational time for this also helps in stimulating their brains. Society places a great deal of importance on both academic and extracurricular success however, kids need to learn how to handle failure. You may not agree but teaching your kids not to fail is setting them up to fail. Growth can also come out of your child's failures believe it our not. Protecting your kids from failure is preventing your child from developing the skills that they will need
to cope with the multitude of mistakes and failures that arise throughout life.

The pressure for being perfect may come from other activities such as sports or social clubs that places a demand on perfectionism. This will only lead to further stress for your child and mental instability. You may want to place your child in a group or activity that does not require perfectionism. This does not mean your child should quit or run away from a challenge that might seem difficult. You should know your child's strengths and weaknesses by working with them and talking with them to see what they are capable of handling. Expose your child to books and educational videos that will help them expand their thinking, skills and learning abilities. Make it fun sometimes and even know when to let up and have your child take a break. Talk with your child's teacher about your child's concerns and frustrations. Include you child in this conversation. Often times as adults, we think we know what's best for our kids without asking the child how they feel.

If you determine that your child is capable of learning and handling difficult challenges but is lazy or being influenced by negative peers, then make some needed adjustments by removing those friends and implement structural discipline. Don't be extreme while disciplining your child. Your child needs to know that there are certain privileges that can be taken away if there is no improvement in school. There is no reward for laziness and disobedience.

Again, keep in mind, there is no perfect child. After all, our kids are only human. We don't live in a perfect world. Life is full of mistakes, failures, challenges and success. As parents, you must teach your kids how to balance all four by welcoming their mistakes, failures and challenges. For if you do, your kids will have good success.