Scary Toilet Myths Exposed

Depending on your location, a trip to the bathroom can be somewhat scary. A few restroom toilets that personally frighten me are rest stop toilets, sporting event toilets and the one and only outdoor port a potty. The germs, the smells, and the stories that surround the throne has me contemplating whether to hold it or venture into the bathroom. The following are a few myths about the toilet that I would like to put to rest.

1. Sexually Transmitted Diseases: According to many doctors it is almost impossible to contract a serious STD from a toilet seat. The only possible STD that can be transmitted through the toilet is Crabs also know as pubic lice. However, these lice can only survive without a host human body for 24 hours. Therefore the chance of contracting lice is nearly impossible. Unfortunately for unfaithful lovers you will have to find another scapegoat. My suggestion is to blame it on hotel bedding, or a hotel towel. You have a better chance of contracting pubic lice this way. As for the other horrific sexually transmitted diseases good luck. I would start looking for a good doctor and an understanding new lover.

2. Alligator: Look out for alligators taking a dip in your toilet. The myth that an alligator can get into your pipes and crawl up your toilet is false. There once was a case in New York where a large alligator was found in a New York City sewer. According to the story a few adolescents were shoveling snow into a manhole when they discovered a 7 foot alligator. New York Municipalities did some investigating and found a few small alligators in the New York City sewers. All the alligators were killed with rat poison. Now you can sit on your toilet with a little more confidence, knowing that you will have both cheeks when you get up. Even those sitting on a New York toilet.

3. Toilet seat germs: The toilet seat has the most germs in the bathroom. The bathroom has a ton of germs and bacteria but the toilet seat doesn’t even rank when it comes to the dirtiest places in the bathroom. The toilet paper dispenser, door handle, toilet flush mechanism, and the floor put the toilet seat to shame. Dropping your cell phone on the floor, then placing a call gives a whole new meaning to, “talking crap.”

4. Toilet flush: The toilet swirls counter clockwise in the northern hemisphere and clockwise in southern hemisphere. This is wrong, the toilet flushes the same everywhere. The Coriolis effect which is said to affect the direction of the water swirl has no influence on the toilet flush. One world, one flush.

5. John Crapper invented the first toilet: The Minoans of Crete are credited with inventing the first toilet centuries ago. The first toilet actually patented was in 1775 by Alexander Cummings. Cummings toilet left water behind after each flush, which was revolutionary. John Crapper has be dethroned from toilet royalty.

If you decide that the toilet you are about to embark upon is not of your liking. Keep this is mind. Holding it in can be painful and lead to severe negative effects on your body. Your best bet on battling the bathroom is hand sanitizer and try not to touch anything. Hovering or building a nest is also suggested.