Thursday, July 28, 2005

What sort of time is this to be away from Bombay? Clearly a good one. Close to a 100 cm of rain in a day, and a big fire to boot. Who says we aren't beloved of the gods? (They're taking us to their bosoms a bit prematurely, aren't they.)

What sort of time is this to be away from Bombay?

Phone lines are down.There's been no power in places where my friends live.No transport.No news from friends.

Monday, July 18, 2005

So I read HP and the Half-Blood Prince. eta: and a detailed review courtesy Aishwarya and I is to be found here.

Got it nice and bright on July 16th and read it straight through, bar an interruption involving nuns and Swiss chocolate.

I enjoyed it. All my favourite characters got a leg up, yaye. JKR is also better than Dan Brown yaye. *wishes lots more Scottish castles and the like on her*

Some observations based on the new book that will not be spoilerish. Don't read if you're leery and DUN WANT TO KNOW EVEN ONE WORD OMG. (Get a life.)

- Jo is an Al Green fan. I;m getting a little tired of all her soul talk.- Jo is not a fan of factual consistency.- Jo's romances are best left to subtext. Except of course the abiding and obvious love everyone seems to have for the Giant Squid, wands, and their fathers.- That said, I am firmly convinced that the great love story of the books is that of Snape and Dumbledore. - Best. Opening. Chapter. Ever- Best Alternate Title For The Opening Chapter (Ever): The Blair Witch Project.- Hot Male Slytherins are a countercultural phenomenon that must be encouraged afap.- TolkienLite does not a Tolkien make. (Although Tolkien might have done well to consider TolkienLite. Speaking of which, JKR never finished LotR, apparently. Dude, wtf.)- - Dementor babiez!!!!!!

The trip to Kerala had me suffer all of one power cut, but succeeded in cutting me off from the world outside the sleepy village where my grandparents live. My cellphone died of network withdrawal, but not before a wayward tractor came hurling down our road and knocked over the landline telephone pole. So my only source of media pollution has been The Hindu, which is great, if somewhat awkward and self-conscious reading, and the evening Malayalam soaps on telly. Do you have any idea how disgusting they are? No? Don't go watch them to find out. I'll tell you. They'll put you off your food, unless you like weeping, whining paragons of virginity (or, of course, scheming, sorcerous matrons of vice) for whom life is all about loving your parents - or wicked step-parents - and catching a man and keeping him caught, even if he's mad, bad and fugly as a pockmark on Satan's grandchild. Also take ten points if he turns out to be obese.

VIRTUOUS WIFE: I hate myself! I have made 4590723 babies for you and you leave me for a younger, prettier woman! Something must be wrong with me.TOTALLY WORTHLESS HUSBAND: ... you're not trying to make me feel guilty, are you?VW: Strange as it may seem to your superior logical mind, Mr. Man, I'm really not. Observe! No irony!TWH: Wow, I'm beginning to be attracted to you again.VW: But sex is bad. My evil step-mother told me that I was to deny you at all costs except under the most pressing circumstances to keep this marriage safe.TWH: And the fact that she was evil means nothing in this context.VW: I said, NO IRONY.TWH: Is that the pattern I've been sensing all this while?MOTHER-IN-LAW: I told you marrying her was going to be wrong for you! She's ruined your Oedipus complex! Also, your life. OBLIGATORY SQUALLING CHILD: *squalls!*VW: I get the feeling your mother's never liked me.MOTHER-IN-LAW: *has been running a 'CHOOSE BETWEEN US' tee-shirt enterprise out of home since son's marriage* TWH: ... I am totally getting out of here, bitches.

Ah, Mumbai. Air thick with poison smoke, slums everywhere, atomisation at its worst in evidence. A smooch is due to thee.

*puts feet up and watches NO TV. OBSERVE! NO! TV!*

item: Those frequenting Orkut know that each community view also has a 'related communities' panel: so, for example, their 'Ancient Greece' community also relates to the 'Rome' and 'Classical Poetry' communities, et cetera. Now, the rightest of right notes is struck: their 'Bono' community has two related communities. They are 'Bono' and 'Bono'. Bless the Ego.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

A fly-by post to say that I will be gone to Kerala in another half-hour or so; returning on the 14th. I will naturally be 'netless and, if the Kerala Elec Board has a stroppy fit on, there is no guarantee my neurons will be functional at all after six in the evening.

... I'm not sure if that last sentence conveys the fact of Kerala's horrible electric supply, or it just sounds like KSEB are a bunch of sadists who like torturing innocent (?) expats(?) with shoxxxx.

Saturday, July 02, 2005

Aishwarya's blog links to an Indian equivalent of that great bastion of Americanism, Save The Males, which, in spite of its lukewarm pun on a great clarion call of our times for corpulent women and Japanese seafood alike, is merely a collection of deadly serious and self-righteous asshattery along the lines of "Women have destroyed the foundations of society!" and "Feminism destroyed my right to keep food warm for my husband!"

Aishwarya is currently fielding heated comments from people who simply don't know of any place anymore (except maybe a few villages in Bihar, apparently) where women aren't treated exactly the same as men, et cetera.

I'm not linking to the Save Indian Family OMGplzkthx! site, but interested readers may Google for it or hop over to A's blog. In short, it is a warning against the western disease of feminism. In allied protest, it has also chosen to eschew reasonable conformity to grammar, although, as Emily pointed out with characteristic sagacity, English too is symptomatic of the Western disease. My question is, why use the Internets as a medium, though? Everyone knows it's filled with 'atheistic hedonistic' women who write pr0n and have orgies on full moon nights!

So many years, you have tied Rakhi on your brother on Raksha Bandhan day and he vowed to protect you.

"Sorry, he's being wanky again. Time to tighten that rakhi."

Today, your brothers in desparation need your help, help for their very survival.

*cracks the whip* "I said CRAWL!"

So, before you tie Rakhi on his hand next time, tell him "Proudly I Say No to Feminism."

"But only because that website told me statistics show a higher suicide rate and lower life expectancy among men than women. So I'll wait till you kick it, steal your money from your 'old mothers, aunts and grandmothers,' and go back to being a superbitch."

Both want gender war. This has already started in urban india.

Emily: Why did you not take me to see the gender war, Supriya? I travel 3,000 miles, the most I expect is to see strapping female warriors in khaki saris barricading the road from the oncoming Mumbai boi's tank division.Supriya: You westerners are so degenerate, omg.

we already have problems with populations explosion.

I know! And then we have to deal with schmucks like you! Sucks to be a girl, dunnit.

About Me

Here, I write about books and some other stuff I come across in my work as a journalist. I write about footie and occasionally other sports on Treasons, Stratagems & Spoils. Most opinions expressed here are my real ones.