You are home to watch Pravda on televisir about degenerate murderer who is on the loose. You look out window to beet field, and you notice Man standing in the snow. He look like foto on televisir and he smile at you. You gulp vodka, picking up fone to your right and dialing Local Militia Precinct Commissar. Back out the glass you look, pressing fone to ear. Notice he now closer to you. You drop vodka in shock.
No footprints in snow. It was reflection. You dullard!
Your apartment is bulldozed down to make way for glorious tractor factory.
Such is life in Moscow

my friend in class told us about these stories when we were born in class.. even the teacher laughed his ass off

A dirty, capitalist pig disguised as a pround Russian was snooping around a prohibited KGB base. Silly capitalist pig walk into base and find KGB-approved 'Michoklev the Rodent' mascot suit in top-secret room.
Michoklev mascot comes alive and kills capitalist pig
Haunted mascot given Russia's highest honor for assisting the KGB
do not ask about how mascot was haunted the KGB was not involved
Such is life in moscow.

my god, ive never laughed so hard on reddit when i first found these...

Man and wife work in glorious Soviet tractor factory. One day, they get tired from building communism, so go into city to stand in bread line. They hire babysitter to watch over children for night. Babysitter left with children in proud Soviet home. Tells parents will take good care.
Father get call from babysitter after a few hours. Babysitter tell father that children reading Marx like good Soviets, but room is drafty because there are no windows. Asks father if okay to move children to parents' room to read Marx. Father says okay, but babysitter have one final request. She ask if can cover up Lenin statue in room because it is frightening her. Father drop phone (should have worn gloves), then tell babysitter, "Take children and get out of house. We do not have Lenin statue!"
Mother and father race home to find KGB at house. KGB arrest babysitter for finding Lenin statue frightening, then arrest parents for not having Lenin statue.
Such is life in Moscow.