Saturday, May 9, 2009

UPDATE: 5/09/09: It appears our efforts have been succesful! GLAAD is reporting that the Dr. Phil show is giving up on their search for "fake bisexuals", atleast for now.

When GLAAD called about concerns over the show, the response was:

"We are not planning on doing a show like this right now or in May sweeps. We are going into hiatus next week and will not be taping for a while. We have many plugs up because we are always looking for interesting stories. If a story like this should come to fruition we will attempt to contact you."

The last thing they want anyone to know is that they were pressured by activists. I truly believe it is our efforts that have led to this show not airing. If they do try and bring up a similar show in the future, we will definitely call them out on it. Thanks for all of your letters to "Dr" Phil McGraw.

4/30/09 In an upcoming show called "Teen Pretending to be Bisexual?" The show is asking for parents to come on the show with their sons and daughters who self identify as bi.

"Is your teenager rebelling by pretending to be bi-sexual? Has your teen pretended to be bi-sexual because he/she thinks it's cool? Or has your teenage daughter pretended to be bi-sexual to attract boys?"

There are a host of problems with this proposed show. First off, it is unreasonable and irresponsible to guess someones sexual orientation/identity. It is offensive to assert that someone is lying about their sexual orientation, it is their own individual choice on how to self identify. Thirdly, the show is operating on the premise that bisexuality is just a "trend" and that it is used to draw attention from males.

This program has yet to air, but it sure smells like it will be biphobic, dismissive of the bisexual orientation, and flailing stereotypes about what it means to self identify as bisexual.

Could we just be jumping to conclusions and wrongly pointing the finger at Dr. Phil?

I think he should be tossed off the air. People still think he's a psychologist despite the disclaimer. I can't see how he could possibly have any kind of 'advice' show that doesn't encourage the mistaken impression.

I've always been part of the school of thought that says The Power of Small is the way to victory. I've said it here before, even. Changing the debate requires full-out attacks on these people from within the blogs and build it up through the mainstream. This kind of technique has always worked in the past-- a good example would be last year's will.i.am video for Obama, which started its buzz via word-of-mouth and culminated in a game-changing moment.

Maybe we should also provide feedback to Oprah too. After all, she is the one who put him on the air and legitimized him. He wasn't any better when he was on her show, but she still promoted him so much that it was largely through her support that he got his show.

I wonder if this is gonna be like the tyra episode where they interviewed girls that made out with other girls to get drinks in beers. THEY ARE NOT BISEXUAL ugh I can only imagine what kind of biphobic ignorant comments will be made on this show.

Although this show definitely sounds like it will be biphobic, I have to say there's something to the idea that there's a growing trend of girls pretending to be bi in order to attract guys. You see it everywhere from Katy Perry to Girls Gone Wild.

On a side note, I hate when people spell "bi-sexual" with the dash. There's a great article about this here: http://whatexit.org/tal/mywritings/how-to-spell-bisexual.html

I have heard Dr. Phil speak positively towards gay people, at least the times I've tuned into his show. I wonder how this one is going to turn out and if its going to be more fodder for people who like to say people chose to be LGBT.

That being said, I do know of girls who will kiss other girls just to get attention or tick people off. Perhaps they are actually bi and don't want to admit it, but more often than not it is drunken sorority party fun. Which, is annoying to those of us who are fighting for equal rights.

@emma and katie:I wish you and others would be more careful about making judgements against "those girls" who are "just making out for attention." The truth is that we have no way to know whether or not which of "those girls" are serious about their attraction to other girls/women. I know this might be hard for you and others to believe, but drunken making out with girls is sometimes actually a part of some people's coming out process. It was for me and it was for one of my close (lesbian!) friends. Oh, and you may not be familiar with this phenomenon, but occasionally, denial of one's queer side is part of the coming out process! >.<

What makes you judge those "trendy" girls? Is it the fact that they want to explore their sexuality? Is it that they often have a more femme/feminine gender expression? Is it the fact that they might be in a sorority? Is it that they might even have an exhibitionist side? What's wrong with any of those things?

I'm truly tired of hearing the othering and put-downs of "those girls" from both bisexual and gay people. It's old meme. The myth of "bisexual chic" has been around for decades.

It's not ANYONE's place to judge who is authentically bi/les/queer and who is not. Fortunately, you are not in charge of handing out the homo membership cards. If you expect people to respect your identity, you need to acknowledge others' may actually be authentic. We ought to be embracing sexual fluidity and exploration, not putting it down.

This is a little off on a tangent but I find it really odd how people can bash Ex-gays as liars but if somebody would do the same for bisexuals you get all mad. People here hold a little bit of the double standard don't you think?

Well bisexuality is an orientation, proven by science and psychology. "Ex-gay" is a theory held by religious advocates and has no standing in science and psychology. So, to compare the "ex-gay" idea with something is a concrete fact is silly. We don't believe in bashing anyone, we just don't want so called "ex-gays" telling us we have to follow their path of lying or celibacy. If you want to not engage in homosexuality, you have every right to do so.

As a general rule, no one is more prejudice than the gay community.We are all very comfortable if they are cute muscle guys or fun girls "with sensible shoes" but heaven help anyone who falls "outside" what we think gay is!Lighten up people, look in the mirror!If you are bashing another group, you have invited bashing! Yes, I am a gay man, and I would fit into one of the "accepted" catagories, it just kills me how "our people" can boycott, scream for tolerance, march here, petition there, and yet don't exerice the VERY trait we claim to want in people......acceptance of others! Let the haters begin to comment...........

Well I'd like to stay bisexual myself. But there also has been reports of fluid sexualities where someone's preference changes over the course of their life, usually by no choice of the victim. That would be something painful to go through, I would think.

By the way, a psychologist is not Dr. Phil. And psychology has a place for all of us now. It's just the narrow-minded people in power of the media and those who believe them who are against us. Not saying a scientist can't be heterosexist.

As for Bi Avenger, please don't get mad, but there are some who are not coming out, and are acting as the above posters have said. It's sad but true. But some of them are just enacting something they saw on TV.

And if everyone doesn't mind, could we not act so defensive in the comments collumns? We're among friends here, right?

I'm 15 and since 7th grade i've seen numerous girls pretend to be bi. i can count 6 right off the top of my head.

Clearly, he was trying to adress a REAL problem within the teenage community. Girls all the time will say they're bi for like a month and then all of a sudden lose interest in their girlfriend and say they're actually straight.

People can say whatever they want, but it DOES happen and you can't pin Dr. Phil for tis one episode he tried to do.

What makes you judge those "trendy" girls? Is it the fact that they want to explore their sexuality? Is it that they often have a more femme/feminine gender expression? Is it the fact that they might be in a sorority? Is it that they might even have an exhibitionist side? What's wrong with any of those things?Concrete Cutting Los Angeles

I personally think it's better not to show these kinds of sensitive topics to teens, because it might just give them ideas about pretending to be "bi". Teens are naturally curious about stuff and their sexuality; exposing them to this issue will just make things worst, they might just be troubled in the end.