[Ask a Girl] Taking Pictures of GF without her knowing

Hey guys, okay...my girlfriend I've known for 10 years now and we're great friends. I've liked her for a while and she doesn't know it but I'd take pictures of her (like her butt, boobs - but in clothing she isn't sexually active) and masturbate to them on my own time. She is a deep Christian and owns a purity ring, so I don't know how she would react to these things. I recently stopped because I assume she would KILL me if she found out, but what should I do? Should I tell her (even though I stopped)? Please help!

*Please no hating, I know that is was kind of sick and wrong and invasion of privacy...*

VerifiedGold Member

So because they aren't nude photos what he's done is justifiable in your opinion?

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Do I think that what he has done is Justifiable? I think the fact that he is taking pictures of her for this purpose only is devious and to some people could be seen as sick .. But I am not going to pass judgement because overall it depends on what she thinks about the situation.

What is the difference between him having a visual image in his head opposed to an actual image.. he's still thinking the same thing.

Well I don't know, I guess I must be a bad person. I have in the past had someone tell me that they got off looking at a "regular" photo of me...I was flattered back then...But that is me.

I think the fact that they are close friends might make circumstances more complicated.

Gold Member

I think you should destroy the pictures/files. And I see no good that would come of telling her, it may just hurt her. Presumably you've realized what you did was wrong, so if there is any guilt to be borne, it's yours. We all do things we wish we could have back, so consider it a learning experience and leave it behind.

That's just my take on the situation. I see you already have a few others to work with.

Yes, dude, destroy the pics. But don't go off feeling like your the scum of the earth unless this girl is really young. If she's young then feel free to go off feeling like that. But if we were to assume that she's "of age" then what you did wasn't right, but it's not as if you did something to physically harm her.

I'm certainly not trying to elicit drama here, but how many of you that are bashing this guy have had fantasies about some celebrity after seeing a pic of them? Surely that would be an invasion of the celebrity's privacy then right? And Gawd forbid that you might have touched yourself after you saw said pic online.

If I'm missing some hugely relevant fact, then please enlighten me. Otherwise, I don't see the point in stringing this guy up for this.

Shred the pics. Talk to your girl, but DON'T tell her about what you did since it would serve NO purpose other than to hurt her if she is that devout.

Gold Member

how many of you that are bashing this guy have had fantasies about some celebrity after seeing a pic of them? Surely that would be an invasion of the celebrity's privacy then right?...

If I'm missing some hugely relevant fact, then please enlighten me. Otherwise, I don't see the point in stringing this guy up for this.

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Unwitting or unwilling celebs, maybe so, but I think those who purposely choose a field in which they are photographed knowingly forfeit the luxury of privacy to that degree.
Plus we didn't sneak around and take their photos, which adds a good bit of weight to the wrongness. I think taking the pictures is the greater breach of trust.

Gold Member

I'm certainly not trying to elicit drama here, but how many of you that are bashing this guy have had fantasies about some celebrity after seeing a pic of them? Surely that would be an invasion of the celebrity's privacy then right? And Gawd forbid that you might have touched yourself after you saw said pic online.

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No drama here, but just to clarify, you just compared him taking a photo of a "friend" not his girlfriend, unknowingly and masturbating to it and linking that to one of us masturbating to a publicly taken photo of a celebrity in the lime light? There really isn't anything related to the two. (At least in my opinion)

Taking a photo in a public place of a celebrity when the celebrity knows (which is what 99.9% of photos online are) isn't an invasion of privacy. Taking a photo of a friends ass and tits (clothed or not without their consent ) for the sole purpose of masturbating to them, is in fact an invasion of privacy.

Whether or not the OP is in the right or wrong isn't really of any relevance, as that's up to each individuals own opinion.

What he's done though, brought one thing to mind and I invite the OP to read this article as it's something that he may find interesting.

Relationships do not thrive on dishonesty. Folks seem to forget that a relationship is about shared needs, and not just about ones own needs. In my view if you need to do sneaky things that you think you will get in trouble for if found out, you should not be in that relationship. My advice would be to destroy the pictures. I would also tell your girlfriend - because you likely will be tempted to do it again of you do not. It is better to be sure to know where you stand. If she would kill you over them, what does that tell you about your relationship?

Objectively speaking, Paraphilia is a pretty broad term to explain a whole array of non-standard urges and tendencies; (minus homosexuality which was removed in 1973 with the publication of the DSM IV.)

Bottom line here:
Officer Steve talking. If she found out and was angry about it; she could call one of my friends. They would come and get you, handcuff you, fingerprint you, and make you speak to a lawyer about your options.

The most likely outcome? Depending on the prosecutor and judge, you plead guilty out of court to misdemeanor lewd and lascivious conduct, do court-ordered community service, and register in the national sex offender registry which will be accessible by any private citizen for your entire life.

Gold Member

here's some advice....instead of spending your time taking photos of her, why not tell her you like her? maybe she likes you too and when she chooses to become sexually active, it could be with you and you wont have to hide in the bushes and take pics of her

here's some advice....instead of spending your time taking photos of her, why not tell her you like her? maybe she likes you too and when she chooses to become sexually active, it could be with you and you wont have to hide in the bushes and take pics of her