one must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star

Sunday, March 13, 2011

5 shots down, 175 to go

Jeremy has, thus far, wimped out on giving shots to Liam. I can'tblame him. It's brutal. He cries for a few minutes. Long minutes. Screams, really. And he's inconsolable. Nothing soothes him.

Tonight while I held him while he screamed, Brody climbed up behind me and almost knocked a frame into me and Liam, while Liam was still crying and screaming. I lost it and yelled at Brody, he ran off crying, Jeremy went after him to console him, Brody yelled at Jeremy, and I kept holding Liam. After a few minutes he finally took the pacifier, and calmed down. He was wrapped around my middle and I was just watching him, and he was watching me with his enormous navy eyes, sucking like mad on his pacifier, and then, he smiled at me. Like he was so happy to be held by the person who tortures him. I started crying, unable to fathom how to do that to him 175 more times, and of course at that moment Brody came back in the roomand asked why I was crying and I told him I was sad that I had to give Liam shots and Brody said he was sad too and Jeremy said he'd give the shots from now on and then the 4 of us hugged.

Yes, we did win that vacation from Homeaway.com

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