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August 20, 2011

Somehow, I think, when a child falls fast asleep in my arms and I take a moment to realize this, I am reminded of their sweet innocence. In that moment, it is as if I am brought back to the first memory of that child. It is like the child returns to that innocent state. Heavenly Father gives each of us tender mercies that bring the reality of our blessings to the forefront. I think, when a child falls fast asleep in my arms, those mercies are brought to past. I let go of my frustrations or any negative feelings held captive in my heart, I listen to the beauty of a quiet moment that I long for throughout my day, and I see the innocence that every child of our Heavenly Father comes to this earth with...before this earth takes it away. I love being a mother.

August 15, 2011

Cousins! We have spent much time with cousins this summer. So much time, I had to make collages of the pictures! I am sure I am still missing a few occasions. We were grateful to have a surprise visit from Aunt Cassi and cousin Norman in June.

We spent time with cousin Isabella, Aunt Ashley and Uncle Terry about once a week. Our latest adventure took us to Monkey Joe's.

We also traveled up to Jacksonville twice to visit cousins Landon and Kaison and Aunt Sarah and Uncle Steven. They also came our way for Oliver's b-day bash.

We can't wait to add to our cousins with the birth of the newest Beatty Cousin!! I love all of these precious children. I love to see them grow and learn.

Check out this quote about loving a child:

“I have often wondered what would happen if the method of introducing a father to his newborn child were different. Instead of a doctor coming out and saying, ‘It’s another girl,’ or ‘It’s another boy,’ how would we react if each time a child was born our Father in Heaven made this kind of introduction to the parents:

Thank you for preparing this little body for the spirit I have created. Now, I present her to you for a season to care for. Please teach her of me and of my Son. I so much want her back with me some day. … Remember this: She is loving. She will respond to teaching. She wants to learn. Please treat her with respect. The road will not be easy. Some of the time it will be most difficult. I want to help you raise her. Please call on me often for advice and counsel. Together we can help her fulfill her purpose in the earth.’” (Ensign, Jan. 1973, p. 115.)"

I loved this talk from the most recent conference as well:

"Pure love is an incomparable, potent power for good. Righteous love is the foundation of a successful marriage. It is the primary cause of contented, well-developed children. Who can justly measure the righteous influence of a mother’s love? What enduring fruits result from the seeds of truth that a mother carefully plants and lovingly cultivates in the fertile soil of a child’s trusting mind and heart? As a mother you have been given divine instincts to help you sense your child’s special talents and unique capacities. With your husband you can nurture, strengthen, and cause those traits to flower." - Elder Scott April 2011 Conference.

August 14, 2011

I have been looking forward to our trip to visit our family up north since we bought the tickets! We have missed our quarterly trips because of lack of funds and babies. I went through some old pictures last week and found these from our first trip to the Epperson's new diggs back in 2005. Wow, has it really been six years?

I can't believe it has been so long. Things have changed so much since then. Calvin is excited to meet all of the Chihuahua puppies and crawl around the wood floors. I am looking forward to reading a good book, sweet mountain breeze and relaxing on the porch swing while Grandma and Grandpa soak up every second with the boys.

We have many good memories there. Drive in movies, Good View Lane, Llama farm, caves, fireplace, Oliver's first snow, skiing...I can remember floating on tubes down a river for the first time with Jason and Steven. What an adventure it was. Jason put the keys to his car in his pocket and they disappeared in the river that day. I happened to learn their home phone number by heart for some odd reason and after a few hours of standing near the car in nothing but our bathing suits, we finally got in touch with a key company to get us in the car and on our way! Jason will be working some of the time we are there, but we are grateful to be able to sneak in a visit. I can't wait to share pictures of our adventures when we return!!

August 11, 2011

I held the future as I looked towards the past this weekend. We had the opportunity to visit my grandmother's grave. I have not been back since her funeral in January of 2004 even though we have been to Jacksonville many times. As we approached her grave, I felt such a memory of her sweet spirit return. I know it doesn't take visiting the grave to remember her, but the peaceful setting of the cemetery allowed it to take place.

I wish she would have met Jason. She always told me to go after the "quiet ones." She said, "Still waters run deep." I never knew what that truly meant until I met Jason.

Time goes by so quickly. I never thought I would have a wonderful husband and two beautiful boys seven years later. It seems like just yesterday I was spending hours talking with her about the mundane things of life. She was a great listener.

At her funeral, all of the the Beatty girls got up and sang a hymn. It was so beautiful. Hearing it always brings me back to that place, the sacred place where all of my memories of my Granny are stored. I love you Granny!

As I mentioned before, I love the drive to work so I have some "alone" time. I spend time pondering the wonders of the world, usually just my world, listening to music or listening to conference. I was touched by the words of those who spoke in the Sunday morning session when I listened today. It brought me to tears as I related the words spoken to my own experiences. When I heard the excerpt below, I thought of sweet little Oliver, who unprompted said,"Jesus" before he was a year old. This talk reassured my duty as a mother. It was very uplifting and I didn't even know I need the uplifting.

"What is it we should learn from children? What qualities do they possess and what examples do they demonstrate that can help us in our own spiritual development? These precious children of God come to us with believing hearts. They are full of faith and receptive to feelings of the Spirit. They exemplify humility, obedience, and love. They are often the first to love and the first to forgive. ...Todd, a little boy just two years old, recently went with his mother to an art museum that was showing a special exhibit of beautiful paintings of the Savior. As they walked past these sacred images, she heard her little boy reverently saying the name “Jesus.” She looked down to see him folding his arms and bowing his head as he viewed the paintings. Could we learn from Todd something about an attitude of humility, of reverence, and of love for the Lord?"

I also enjoyed this wonderful talk by Elder Kent Richards. It speaks of pain with a perspective I have never pondered. I love this part of the talk:

"Thirteen-year-old Sherrie underwent a 14-hour operation for a tumor on her spinal cord. As she regained consciousness in the intensive care unit, she said: “Daddy, Aunt Cheryl is here, … and … Grandpa Norman … and Grandma Brown … are here. And Daddy, who is that standing beside you? … He looks like you, only taller. … He says he’s your brother, Jimmy.” Her uncle Jimmy had died at age 13 of cystic fibrosis. For nearly an hour, Sherrie … described her visitors, all deceased family members. Exhausted, she then fell asleep.” Later she told her father, “Daddy, all of the children here in the intensive care unit have angels helping them.”

You should read it for yourself. Attached are some pictures from mid-July.

Mother I love you, mother I do. I can't imagine going through this life without you. My dear mother has taught by example my entire life. She is so beautiful inside and out. She has a lot to offer the world. One morning in June I received a phone call from my sister that started out, "Amber, I am on my way to the hospital, mom was in a car accident. She called me and she is okay." I immediately knelt down to pray. Ashley handled the stress well. Terry went to the scene of the accident and Jason went to the hospital. Dad was out of town and all we could do was sit and wait to hear more.

I began calling family members to update them on the situation. Nate came over and we prayed again. We only knew pieces of the situation. Mom was waiting to turn behind another vehicle and a school bus hit her without stopping going about 40mph. She was on her way to the last day of school with students. It was all over the news.

We couldn't believe that she was alive from the images that were taken from helicopter view. The Lord protected mom that day. She needs to be here on this earth and that was apparent by her survival from this crash.

She did suffer a few minor (but painful) injuries, but overall is doing much better.

We need more people like her to get us through our days and years! To mother dear, I love you.

August 10, 2011

So there is a definite neural pathway from my memory of the song and emotion. It makes me want to cry. I think back to the first time I heard this song. I had a really bad day a few weeks ago. Jason and I attended the temple, then I had a meeting at work. The meeting didn't go as planned. I felt "less than, Less than perfect." I don't walk around feeling perfect by any means, but I hadn't felt this feeling of failure in a long time. I felt like I let down my boss. As I got into the car, Jason put his arms around me and made me feel, more than perfect. He played this version of the song by our new favorite band and sang it to me! He is my world.

August 9, 2011

"Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail—" -Moroni 7:46

This week has been one that I have looked forward to for a long while. I knew that I would be finished with my crazy work schedule and ready to accomplish my house chores that have been so neglected. I began this week with a "To-Do" list. What a feat! I have mastered the ability to mold my lists into challenging, but not too challenging goals to be completed. I know to make my deadline reasonable and my goals specific. In fact, I am accomplishing my list as I type this post, for I have a goal to update my blog with one post this week. I find that if I am not too over-bearing with my goals, I am more motivated to actually cross things off of the LIST!

I was reading the above scripture and thought of a woman who had charity today. A woman and a man in fact. I went out to Staples to gather my free goodies (school supplies) and the boys did well. We then ventured to Publix. As we pulled into the parking lot, Oliver was shouting, "cookie." He seemed excited to get out of the car and get into the store. I was because it was starting to drizzle rain outside. Calvin was fast asleep. Oliver then proceeded to throw a fit because I got him out of the car. I am not sure exactly what he wanted, but he was probably tired. He continued to throw himself on the parking lot and cry. I offered him everything I could think of. I got Calvin out of his seat and he woke to sounds of Oliver screaming for mommy. I could not hold both of them because Oliver was kicking and screaming. Just then, an elderly woman crossed the parking lot. She said, "Can I help you," in the sweetest- charity- filled tone. My heart was softened.

I was embarrassed and did not want anyone to think that I beat my children or lacked discipline in their lives. She tried to get Oliver up with words and he just screamed more. She said, "Can I hold the baby for you." The spirit confirmed that it was okay and I got a cart to secure Oliver. She left quickly with a smile on her face and said, "I know how it is. I had two boys close in age once too." I want to cry as I reflect on the tender mercies the Lord shows us.

He will provide a way for us to carry out the covenants we've made. We love our children, but need the help of others sometimes.

While in the store, the boys were happy with their balloons and free cookies as I scurried around the store trying to gather a few things that I had on another list. Oliver began to scream at Calvin for attempting to eat his cookie. Of course Oliver would not change the hand the cookie was in to keep it away from Calvin. I had a flashback of my childhood in that moment. It was chaos. Calvin began to choke and in a flash I attended his needs. The seafood guy quickly came to our rescue with some paper towels and a kind heart.

I could look back on the day as horrible, but after studying the scriptures, I find that it was a glorious day! I hope you feel the same. Try to look for ways to be of good cheer and have charity, the true love of Christ, towards others.

Amz

P.S. The pictures are from this weekend we spent with family! We had fun catching up!