If I’d been a contestant on Masterchef during its “recreate a childhood food memory” challenge, I may well have considered making a Mars Bar slice. Of course, I’d have been swiftly booted from the competition had I done so, for a recipe involving three ingredients, a microwave, and nary a pellet of dry ice or edible “soil” would surely have made George curl his little lips in horror.

Before I go any further down this Mars Bar truffle-née–slice road, buckets of credit must be sent Conor’s way for inspiring me with her talk of placing Mars Bar slices in pattycake cases.

While I’m normally a good rule-follower, this time, I wasn’t. So instead of Mars Bar Pattycakes, we have Monza Truffles. I do hope Conor, and anyone else vaguely interested in this comestibles-trip-down-memory-lane, will forgive me.

The incredibly upmarket ingredients. Well, the Nuttelex is kosher, and that must count for something, right?

And now we see the reason for calling these “Monza” rather than “Mars Bar” truffles. When I went to my local Woolworths for ingredients, I found that Mars Bars have dropped in size from 60g to 53g, whereas Woolies’ Mars Bar-mimicking Monzas were not only 60g (closer to the recipe requirements… it seems that Mars Bars were once 65g) but a dollar cheaper.

Dear Mars Bar People, you have been degraded and simultaneously one-upped by an Australian supermarket copy-cat confection.

Adding the Bubbles to the melted Nuttelex and Monzas. (Perhaps the most nonsensical-out-of-context sentence I've ever written?)

You know what I just realised? Remember when I reviewed this Jokerz bar, which is like a vegan Snickers? That company also does a vegan version of a Mars Bar, so if I were still in America I could have made this vegan and potentially gluten-free.

Dear Woolies, please create a vegan Monza next. Ta.

Ooey-gooey-yummy-chewy-Wombat-Stew. Wait, that's not right.

Enough dilly-dallying, Hannah. Onto the recipe.

Bonza Monza Bubble Truffles

After deciding to roll the following mixture into truffle-like balls instead of patting it into pattycake cases or cutting it into squares, I managed to get 23 little truffles out of the recipe. Why is 23 significant? Because I made these on my birthday for a with-coffee treat, and that birthday was my 23rd. (I certainly didn’t start eating the mixture once I hit 23 truffles so as to give the appearance of serendipity…)

Melt Mars Bars/Monzas and butter/Nuttelex in the microwave (or a saucepan), stirring until smooth. I believe I did 1m30s on medium then 3 x 30s bursts on high, stirring in between.

Add Rice Bubbles and stir. Then you can do what you want – press it into a slice tin, spoon into pattycake cases, or roll into balls and nestle in tiny paper cases, as I did. Sprinkle on sugar now, if that’s what you’re going for, then refrigerate. If you’re using melted chocolate to decorate, I’d let them set in the fridge first.

Now all you have to do is finish opening and squee-ing over your birthday presents, turn on the pre-recorded Masterchef (I’m rooting for Callum and Marion, with a growing dislike of Joanne), divvy up a goodly number of Bonza Monza Bubble Truffles amongst your parents and yourself, and enjoy the journey back into sweet, sweet 10-year-old land.

oh don’t tempt me – I think doing these as a slice works better for me – if I rolled them in balls I might miss the patty pan cakes and find them landing in my mouth too frequently – great birthday treat!!!! (and I would prefer them to many of the desserts I see on Masterchef)

Uh, yum! Too bad we don’t have any of these ingredients in the U.S.! Well, that’s not true, we have these “Bubbles,” but the brand name here is Rice Krispies. I didn’t know they went by any other name!

Seriously, how is Joanne on the show? She bothers me. I don’t know most of the others by name, though I was sad to see Fiona go last night — how cute is she?

Incidentally, when I was in high school I went on a cruise of Lake George, which is a poshy resort-meets-mountains town 30 minutes from where I grew up, and we passed the waterfront summer retreat of the Mars guy. I had never heard of a Mars bar at that stage of my life but was all like “zomg the guy who owns M&Ms lives there!”

These look fabulous Hannah. Wonder if I should make some this weekend too? I’m sure they’d be great for a wintery weekend treat. Although I’m hoping to get a batch of biscuits made, I’ve been longing to try a Donna Hay recipe for about 8 months, and if I don’t do it this week, well, it’ll be months from now….. I only recently saw that Monza bars existed, when I was driven despairingly to Woolies to try to find a Chokita after all the online discussion. I used to quite like those as a kid. They were sadly sold out, it’s an itch that still hasn’t been scratched. BTW I did another blog post taking your name in vain last night. Congratulations to your parents too. My parents will be celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary this year! My dad has been doing the “you get less for murder” line for as long as I can remember (at least 3 weeks these days).

Johanna: That’s a compliment and a half! Though maybe if I’d added fish sauce, like Marion, I could make it on the next season? 😛 And there’s nothing wrong with half the mixture never making it to the serving platter, surely…

L-Izzle: The best early anniversary present anyone could ask for. Funnily enough, my brother was born one day before my dad’s birthday, too! The nuttelex is because we don’t have anything else in the house (because of intolerances) and yes, the Monzas are full of dairy. But as you can tell on this blog, I can be quite lax about my lactose intolerance when it comes to chocolate!

Amber: That’s where you’re wrong, my dear! Rice Krispies are indeed the exact same thing, and what we call Mars Bars are what you call Milky Ways (our Milky Ways are what you call 3 Musketeers… it’s confusing). But somehow I think you should save you “almost vegan” clause for something a bit fancier 😀

Theresa: Thank you!!! I haven’t liked her from the beginning. And my Mum said the same thing about Fiona’s cuteness when she left yesterday. Was the Mars Bar guy’s house made of candy?

Kath: I actually tried all the Woolies’ spin-offs last year, and though they were quite comparable (though I didn’t actually taste the real ones side-by-side). I’m looking forward to your review!

Louise: *laughs* I love your dad’s joke! These Monza treats would probably be less work than a Donna Hay recipe, if you’re in stressed travel-prep mode, but your call 😀 And yay, heading over to your blog now!

Lorraine: Teehee, quite! Funnily enough the Rice Bubbles packet has a recipe for chocolate crackles on the back. Thanks but no thanks…

Conor: If you’d only said yes when I asked if I could stalk you, I’d have had your address and could’ve sent you some Bonza Monza Bubble Truffles. Although that conversation might have happened in my head.

Also, I can’t help thinking that if a cross-Australia postage event did take place, you’d deserve something more special than this. You know, like something with copha in it.

I’ve got to say, I think Rice Bubbles is a much more fun (not to mention correctly spelled) name for Rice Krispies. And I’m pleased that Snap, Crackle, and Pop have the same names in Australia. You never know when they’re going to change a name on you… Waldo.

Camille: …Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone… (I actually find it deeply sad that American publishers thought American children couldn’t cope with “Philosopher’s”). But you’re right, Bubbles is definitely more fun than Krispies, not to mention correctly spelled.

[…] Rice Krispie Treats, but have been determined to do something with them other than the standard Mars Bar Slice. Imagine my delight, then, upon finding a recipe in an old cookbook that asked for both Rice […]

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About

Hannah. Writer, editor, firm believer in socks, gin, laughter, buttered toast, cheesecake, and semicolons. Currently back in Canberra after two years living in Canada; heart tingling to see what happens next.