Hi all,
I recently started a new job, I worked as a hardware engineer before and now in my new job my boss wants me to start programming more. I'm having a lot of difficulty coping with the stress of learning a new programming language and having to use that in projects for work. I feel like I'm slipping at work and my boss is not happy with my work.
To top it off they sent me overseas to south east asia on work related travel. My personal experience as a woman engineer, se asia is not a great place to work. I'm not saying everyone in se asia treats women unfairly/disrespectfully, this is just my personal experience so I'm sorry if I offend anyone, that is not my intention.
This one company in sri lanka where I was on assignment for a week treated me with such hostility! They expected my colleague who is a german man to show up but they sent me instead. This did not go down well with the guy in charge there. He behaved coldly the entire time I was there and after I left sri lanka to go to my next destination he complained to his superiors about the bad service he received even though I got the job done in the alotted time and everything was on schedule. He said he expected the guy but I showed up and that was not what they were expecting.
I know I should brush it off but I can't seem to stop feeling depressed about this. How do you all treat such behaviour at your workplaces? How do you focus on your other work when things like this happen?
Thanks!

You can't control other people's actions, and it seems that you deal fairly well with others' bad behavior.

If you want to stay in your country, not have to do programming, and work mostly with people who treat women well, you may have to go into elementary education, or another field. Consider a career change.

You attribute your experience in Sri Lanka to gender. It could very well have been any number of other factors, or some combination, which you didn't run a controlled study to determine. Mentioning that you were a Buddhist or having some knowledge of the Pali Canon could have opened doors for you that the other individual's Teutonic identity wouldn't have for him. Being an entertaining speaker in whatever your common language was, or learning to speak more Sinhalese or Tamil before you next trip, or having learned more before this trip, might have made a big difference.

Congratulations on your new position. I am sorry to hear that you experienced this when you were sent to work oversees. We know that these workplace behaviors are prevalent anywhere an individual works. Sometimes we try to ignore this behavior but it can be difficult when a supervisor and/or multiple colleagues act this way. Depending on the type of person your colleague is you may or may not want to ask them why they did this or continue to do this?. We all know our colleagues and the ability or inability to discuss certain matters. Thus, these problems may be ignored because of being non-confrontation in the workplace to avoid further problems. I would continue to give respect and remain positive to the colleagues and focus on your work. Also, most workplaces have a complaint number only do this if you are comfortable. I would get support from the workplace about these issues to see if they can provide you any further help.

Even in the US, women in the workplaces have always had and still have to contend with quite a lot of sexism. All I ever found to combat it was do the best job I could do and take opportunities that might improve my situation. It IS depressing. Of course it is. Being devalued isn't right.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.