lost things

I don’t always dream. I don’t always dream with clear details nor events that are sequential.

But here is what I remember.

The day before was a bit difficult. I was trying to figure out where I stood with friendship and social events. Things of that nature preoccupied my mind.

So, it wasn’t a surprise to me when I dreamt of friends and being around them, yet feeling disconnected.

I hadn’t seen my real friends in over two months and counting.

It’s not like I don’t cherish them; I just prefer being by myself for the time.

In the dream, I was first called from my home. There’s an event at school. I gather my belongings, a bag stuffed with things I didn’t bother to check. I was led outside and soon I was at the school grounds.

Everyone was set up. There were booths and a track.

One of my friends tell me that I’ll be running in the race and I’m already running late as it is. She rushes me to the ‘Start’ line. Ready. Set. Go. I didn’t have enough time to think things through. Everyone ran chaotically. It wasn’t your typical track. Everyone was to remain in their own lane, run around as many times as possible. I was at the outer lane, with the most to run. The team was made of three people, I later figured out, two guys and one girl. I run as best and fast as I could. Over and over again. As I reach the second runner, he looks at me confused.

He says to me, “What are you doing? The race is over.”

I look at him confused. I hadn’t heard a winner. I wasn’t told to stop. No one bothered to say anything until I approached the second runner.

Vinny, another friend, clasped her hand around my wrist and says, “come on Rheanne.”

She leads me back near the ‘Start’ line. I realize, she was the one who’s been leading me around. We arrive at the booths.

“Is one of these your sketchbooks?” A blonde, blue eyed guy asks me.

His face seems familiar to me. I can’t quite comprehend my focus on him or why he’s the only thing in my dream that was clear and crisp in detail.

I search my sketchbook. I tell him, after some thought, that it’s 8 x 9 inches. Then when it was presented to me, I realize it’s not mine. So, I say, 9 x 12 inches. I grab. I walk away with Vinny. Then I realize again, I never left my sketchbook there. I look at the one I’m holding and true enough, it wasn’t mine.

It leaves confused through the remainder of my dream as Vinny strolls me away across the green grounds, around the school. It wasn’t a setting I was familiar with until we rounded near the buildings. I’d dreamt of this school before with the large library where I can come and go as I please, with pillars so wide I could hide, and staircases that went on for eternity. I knew this school yet, I felt lost in it. She leads me to the cafeteria where we get separated. Moments later I’m talking to people.

I don’t remember this part well. I remember interacting with regrets like crushes, old and lost friends. I don’t feel comfortable. I’m desperate to get away.

That’s when I see blonde blue eyes put on a Nissin-like cup bag on his back as he says goodbye to the students.

It was easy to spot him. I could see him so clearly, but he was the only person I interacted with in the dream that I had no previous connection to in my real life.

I wouldn’t know where to start searching for the meaning of this. It’s all very strange…

The other day, my brother decided it was time my sister and I got caught up with S.H.I.E.L.D. That’s where I saw my dream guy. It was like, wow. Except for the shorter hair, Dr. Lincoln Campbell looks just like my dream guy. Just saying… Body type and everything. I’d never even seen this actor until I got caught up.