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Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Blogging used to be so easy to me. The words would just flow from my mind to my fingers. Now I sit down to type and my mind is blank. I post so much to Instagram and Facebook that I feel like blogging would just be a copycat of what I already posted. So I haven't blogged in year now! It was easy to blog when I had Hudson, for one, I just had one kid, and two, he was pretty interesting with his cleft business so it wasn't just a boring day in the life of a four month old. And then Nova came along and things got busier and blogging got harder.

I post when big things happen now because there is usually more details and emotion that need to be said that won't fit in a little paragraph on Instagram. So here I am! Although you all know our big news now! I'm pregnant with our third baby! Woohoo! I had to write down how this little being came to be mostly for my own memory but it has also been a very spiritual experience for me so I wanted to share.

We all know my little crazy Nova has not being an easy child. She is full of life! She is stubborn, demanding, and high maintenance. Although she is the best cuddle bug out there she has been testing my patience for a long time now! I was fully prepared to wait until she was two before I considered having a third baby. I had no desires to be pregnant again for a long time! In July 2014 I decided I needed more happiness in my life. I was struggling with life and raising two little kids. I wasn't happy. So I made a goal with Curtis to attend the temple every other Tuesday. It was one of the few nights Curtis had off work because I had my church calling as an Activity Day Leader. Which was only two times a month but Curtis got every Tuesday off. So Tuesday became Temple Tuesday! And guess what?! We rocked Temple Tuesday! I think we only missed two Tuesday's in about 4 months.

One night we were short on time so we decided to do Initatories. It was actually the first time I had done them besides my own. During a specific part of the ordinance I had a very strong desire to be pregnant. I longed for it and was excited for it in that moment. My excitement didn't stop after I was done with Initatories and I was excited to tell Curtis my experience! On our way home I told him the impression I got while there. I knew he wouldn't just drop everything and be on board with me for a third baby so I told him to pray about it and that I'd wait. Impatiently though...

It was like night and day. One minute I had absolutely no desire for a third baby and after the temple I couldn't contain this strong desire to be pregnant right then and there. After a couple weeks of nagging Curtis for a third baby I decided to stop and put my focus elsewhere so I signed up for 2 10K races in November! I had not run consistently since Hudson was two months old and I had 8 weeks to train for six miles! It ment I had to wait until after my races to get pregnant and Curtis was OK with that! He wanted to wait until the beginning of the year to start trying for baby number 3. It felt like decades away though!

There was one night, in the midst of waiting and training, I had a very clear and real dream about Curtis handing me a baby boy with lots of dark hair wrapped in a hospital blanket. We were in a hospital room and we named him Ramsey. I always liked the name Ramsey but never really decided on it for a baby or even really told Curtis about it. So when I told Curtis my dream he agreed to start trying for a baby as soon as my races were over. He also agreed to name our boy Ramsey if it were a boy! I couldn't stop thinking about the dream and how our third baby just might be a boy!

Well low and behold things were aligned perfectly and it was literally days after my last race that I could get pregnant. And two weeks later I got a positive pregnancy test! Although getting pregnant for us has always been easy I still felt like this baby was meant to be here right at this time. I was so excited to be pregnant again! I told Curtis the news by writing "I'm pregnant" at the bottom of a hot chocolate filled mug. And we announced to the world that I was pregnant on Christmas Day!

I had another dream of me giving birth to a dark haired baby boy and we again named him Ramsey. This was just days before my ultrasound in which we found out we were indeed having a BOY! So Ramsey it is! Coincidence? I think not!

For some reason only Heavenly Father knows, this boy is meant to be in our lives right now! It's times in my life when I, or we, have been struggling that we turn to Lord and get back on track to the things He wants us to do that we are most influenced by the spirit. He just wants to see us try, no matter how little and He'll give us a nudge in the right direction. Where we can find happiness once again. It's in these moments that I realize we are inline with His will. And it's because we are putting forth effort to be! Now if I could always remember that life might be a bit easier, but I am only human.

Experiences like these testify to me that Heavenly Father has a plan for us. Although I feel totally incompetent for three children I find strength in the fact that this is what Heavenly Father wants for us. He trust us with another one of precious spirits. I know He knows we can do it. And I know he watches me struggle with Hudson and Nova and just waits (sometimes too long) for me to call on him for help. I'm so grateful for my testimony of a Father in Heaven who loves us. And a testimony of a gospel that helps me raise a family. I don't have to be alone in this calling.

I'm so happy to be pregnant with our third baby! Also scared for three children but more excited! Can't believe we are actually on our third baby! I feel like I JUST had Hudson... This pregnancy has been so different from the last two! My morning sickness lasted only until 12 weeks and wasn't even that bad compared to the last two. I also really haven't been that tired. But oh the aches and pains started weeks ago! I'll be 18 weeks on Friday so that makes him Due August 21st! SO excited! Despite being pregnant ALL summer I am actually really excited for summer! Yes, you heard right! I just bought a maternity swim suit and I plan on spending a lot of our time by the pool... Or splash pad. I have always wanted to go swimming while pregnant. It sounds amazing! The kids start swim lessons on the 31st that I am excited about too! And we have a Mexico trip in June! It's gonna be a fun summer... I ain't gonna let a big oil' belly get in my way and the kids way of a fun summer, that's the plan at least...