Space Oddity was my first Bowie song. I discovered the lyric when I was browsing the net randomly back when I was in college (about 10 years ago). I didn’t even hear the song but the words captured me instantly. The goosebumps that I had when I finally listened it for the first time is still fresh in my memory.

This song means a lot to me because when I first heard it, I was recovering from a betrayal. I was bitter about everything and I was terribly scared about what life had to offer me. And suddenly this 35 year old song came to me out of nowhere.

Ain’t life always gonna be like that? About having the courage to embrace the unknown? Who would have thought that a Bowie’s song would find me? I didn’t even know who David Bowie was before that night.

I’m still terribly sad. I couldn’t listen to his songs yesterday because I knew they would drive me to tears. So, I listened to it this morning on my way to work. I cried and mourned for him but oddly, the songs also made me smile. They made me remember how I used to sing “Oh You Pretty Things” to Kei when she was a tiny baby. They made me remember how I usually howl “Life on Mars” during shower in a very theatrical way. They made me remember how Kei used to ask for the song with an uncle’s blue floating head album cover (Space Oddity). You know, stuff like that.

And all those feelings. The warm tears on my cheek. The saltiness I tasted on my tongue because I was singing, laughing and crying at the same time.. they made me grateful. They made me feel so lucky that I was alive in the time where David Bowie existed.

Except being obsessed with the show, I don’t think I have much going on in my life at the moment. I’m obsessed to the point where I started my own business to support me fangirling haha. So, any of you who wants to order custom case for your phones (available for iPhones, most Samsung phones and Xiaomi Mi4i) you can line me at cicipo. Elmo and I have this 2-3 year goal of going to either JIB con or Asylum. We now have Mon on board too. Yay! I think it goes without saying but there’s also Supernatural cases available (DUH!) in case you love the show as much as I do. I got like 4 or 5 of them for myself too. #facepalm

I think it’s really fucked up that I could tricked myself into falling in love with you, a total stranger. It’s scary what expectations can do to you. It’s unimaginable how this logic of mine is already down the toilet. My brain acted as if it’s the hand that exasperatingly flush it down. It’s only expectations and the only thing that is certain about it is that it always lets me down. Damn it, the uncertainty is one enticing bitch.

“To the isle of the black kites and the wishing tree, I wanna be with you.”