Kristen Canned in Apprentice Washout

Without a doubt, teams Magna and Net Worth both wish they could wash away the memory of disastrous showings on Thursday night’s Apprentice.

The night’s competition proved a complete flop for everyone and left Donald Trump severely irritated – neither team won the challenge – but it was Net Worth’s Kristen Kirchner who felt the sting most when she was sent packing.

For this, their fourth challenge, the teams were turned over to adman Donny Deutsch, who explained that each would be creating their own 30-second film ad for new Dove Cool Moisture Body Wash. Deutsch implored the teams to create something like a movie, and “to think outside of the box.”

With Magna coming off a rocky week following a loss and the upheaval over lazybones teammate Michael, Erin agreed to step up and serve as project manager for her group. But their brainstorming session quickly devolved when Bren, a conservative attorney from the South, suggested a storyline loaded with sexual innuendoes and gay overtones. Even more surprisingly, the rest of Magna – the college-educated team – jumped onboard with the idea.

Meanwhile, at Net Worth’s headquarters, a showdown between Kristen and Audrey seemed to be brewing as Kristen bullied her way into the project manager spot. A crisis was averted when levelheaded John suggested a comedic concept that featured marathon runners reinvigorating themselves with the new Dove product.

Net Worth, none of whose team members graduated from college, appeared to be on to something, but Kristen quickly shuffled John off to work on other tasks while she directed the filming.

The end result was a disaster for both teams. When called before Deutsch and two Dove executives to air their team’s work, both groups’ commercials were greeted with stunned silence. Magna’s ad most resembled soft-core pornography, while Net Worth’s incomprehensible spot was absent any hint of humor.

“The truth is,” said one Dove executive, “I don’t want to buy that product from either of those teams.” Deutsch was more blunt: “I’ve gotta tell you, you both missed big. You both sucked,” he told each group.

For the boardroom, Trump assembled both teams to figure out what had gone so horribly wrong. After watching each one, Trump says, “Both of these ads are really terrible.”

Acknowledging that it was the first time anything like this had happened, Trump asked both project managers to pick two team members and return to the boardroom together. Erin brought Bren and Michael for Magna, while Net Worth’s Kristen brought Audrey and Tana. There the feud between Kristen and Audrey spilled over and Trump blamed Kristen for not having control over her team.

Magna survived largely by not saying anything, and Kristen was clearly stunned when Trump told her she was fired.