How Christmas in July Plagued Trumpworld This Week

Christmas in July, what a concept. You wait for a thing all year long, but then—boom—there the thing is five months early, like a blessing. It doesn’t make a ton of sense, but that’s the fun, isn’t it? The dark reds and greens clash against the clear blue skies and yellow sunlight of summer. “Hey, there’s no snow on this beach!” you say, laughing in a knowing way while dressed like an elf. What’s funnier than an image of Coca-Cola’s Santa drinking a margarita and wearing a Hawaiian shirt? Almost nothing! Christmas in July! What a concept!

Melania Trump gets it. She worked on White House holiday preparations this week. “#Christmas planning has begun in the East Wing at the @WhiteHouse,” she tweeted on Wednesday before lunchtime. “I’m looking forward to sharing our final vision for this unique tradition in the coming months.” Yes, the office of the first lady is one of those year-round Christmas shops, a brilliant way to disassociate from whatever is happening in the outside world, be it a Robert Mueller testimony or ICE raids or general White House infighting. A stunning method to inject a little joy into the dog days of summer or, at the very least, prepare for what Christmas will look and feel like everywhere by 2032.

But up in Mrs. Trump’s old hometown, a different kind of first lady is living a Christmas in July nightmare. The piles and piles of decorations owned by Judith Giuliani, soon-to-be ex-wife of Rudy Giuliani, are being held “hostage,” according to an anonymous friend speaking with Page Six. Judith “has a huge walk-in closet of decorations”—“battalion“ of life-size wooden soldiers and blown glass “family heirlooms”—and Rudy reportedly won’t turn them over.

It’s an accusation the ex-New York mayor, current legal rambler for the president, refutes in part. He told Page Six that Judith did indeed leave the decorations behind in their 66th Street apartment, “but I’ve packed them up and sent them to my lawyer to return them to her,” so they’re in transit. “I don’t know why she’s so upset. There’s a lot of time before Christmas, unless she wants to celebrate it on August 25 this year, in which case I will expedite the shipment,” he said. Has he not ever heard of the great American tradition of Christmas in July? It’s not Christmas in August. It’s Christmas in July. And there’s not a lot of time left to celebrate. Ticktock, ticktock, Rudy.

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