Hi, we're Pablo (a twentysomething) and Crystal (a thirtysomething). Even though we were born in different decades, we both love to talk about what's going on in the world. Today, we're discussing hipster foods.

Pablo: As a gay youth, I would only put this in my body out of principal. IDK if it's actually any good, but I'm here for queer representation.

Crystal: Aside from the fact that this looks like a unicorn vomited between two slices of bread, I can’t imagine this was quick and easy to make — which is a tragedy, because that’s kind of the whole point of a grilled cheese sandwich?

Pablo: This seems...unsanitary? But I've put my mouth on more questionable things, so who am I to speak on what's sanitary and what isn't.

Crystal: LOL at the fact that this is a shovel ON a plate. This is some dumb shit right here and while the food itself looks good, I could never bring myself to eat off of a shovel…maybe when I was in college…and VERY drunk.

Pablo: In the words of The Office's Kelly Kapoor, "I have a lot of questions. Number one, how dare you?" I've never been so offended by a dish in my life. Well, aside from the time they put peas in guac. But this is a close second.

Crystal: No. I’ve gotten too old to eat food that looks like it just fell off a truck.

Pablo: To say I wouldn't spend money on this for the sake of a photo is a lie. I'd probably make Crystal eat it though.

Crystal: Fair, I would eat it, but then I'd probably be really angry about it. But what’s this fucking obsession with mermaids these days? When I hear the word “mermaid” I immediately think of Ariel from The Little Mermaid. Not, like…toast?

Pablo: I just threw up a lil' in my mouth. Anyone have any mouthwash? You're gonna need it too if you eat this trash.

Crystal: Well trash is attracted to trash so...LOL, It’s like someone read my mind, figured out my two favorite foods and mashed ’em together. Which, on paper sounds great, but in reality this seems like it’d be the perfect food to give me morning heartburn.

Pablo: It's been a decade since I transitioned out of my emo phase, but I'm still that sad, sad boy on the inside. Now if you'll excuse me I'll be eating this delicious ice cream while listening to a My Chemical Romance song.

Crystal: This may come as a surprise to you, but I also liked MCR, however I don't really like this ice cream. It's cool to look at, but I can't imagine it'd taste good.