Tuesday, January 27, 2009

PRETORIA. The ruling ANC has hinted that Youth League leader Julius Malema could be sent to the United Nations as an ambassador after his "revolutionary" responses to a caller he believed to be US President Barack Obama until it was revealed as a radio hoax.

"That Obama mustn't come here with his 'Yes we can' kak," said a spokesman. "This is our turf" Malema was the victim of a hoax call apparently from Barack Obama, but his responses – widely quoted in local media – startled even those who believe that his G for Standard Grade Woodwork was a sympathy mark.

Asked on air by "Obama" if he had any questions for the new President of the United States, Malema said, "No, I don't have any question (sic). I just got a call here and they said that you are calling to me, mos.

" While the international diplomatic corps has described Malema's responses as "compelling as road-kill", the ANC has defended him, saying he answered exactly as was expected of him as a disciplined cadre of the people's revolution.

"He gave absolutely nothing away," said spokesman Quisling Mpundu. "He didn't betray any emotion, he made no promises, he offered no comment.

"In fact he barely gave any indication that he has a functioning brain. And it all comes so naturally!" Describing Malema's informal "mos" thrown in at the end of the conversation as a "stroke of revolutionary brilliance to disarm and stun the forces of racist oppression", Mpundu said the Malema was the ideal candidate to represent South Africa's interests at the United Nations.

"He believes steadfastly in the rights of man," he said. Asked if Malema also believed steadfastly in the rights of woman, Mpundu said he would have to check his notes.

"Basically the South African ambassador to the United Nations has three jobs:

to veto anything that damages the self esteem of Comrade Robert Mugabe;to uphold the banner of liberty for Africans in a post-colonial, liberated, free Africa;and to do whatever China says.

"Comrade Malema is overqualified for all three jobs." He said that Malema was particularly cool under pressure because he wasn't overwhelmed or daunted by reputations. "He doesn't know who anyone is, so he's not intimidated by them," said Mpundu.

"Yes, Obama is the leader of the world's biggest economy and controls unimaginable military might.

But can he get a good tone on a vuvuzela?Does he know the cheapest place to get ANC t-shirts and peaks printed?Does he know how to make the same empty promises to the masses for 15 years and yet make them sound new each time?

"That's politics, not this 'Yes we can' kak." Meanwhile South Africans have welcomed the idea of posting Malema to the UN, saying that any post that sends Malema as far away as possible is a bonus to the country.