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What About Building 7?

Family members of 9/11 victims, appearing in a new a new Television ad campaign are making some serious inroads into mainstream media outlets suggesting that the official story of 9/11, as told by the U.S. government, is a lie. Well, that is if you consider Geraldo Rivera a serious inroad. That, and why the hell am I wearing a jacket and tie today, November 16th, on The Hermit with Davis Fleetwood?

Enter stage right, Geraldo Rivera, who said on his show recently, “Up until now, only those considered nut jobs questioned the official conclusion. Saying the new television ad was not easy to dismiss, Rivera said: “”If explosives were involved,” he that would mean the most obnoxious protesters in recent years … were right.”

Somewhere, right now, Charlie Sheen is doing lines of coke off of Rosie O’Donnell’s back as the former View host does her triceps stretches as she prepares to come out of hiding and pat her self on the back.

I know what you are thinking: Geraldo is still on Fox? I thought his show moved to Manhattan cable access in the newly available slot between Debbie’s Dungeon of Delight and Baklava Beatnik poetry slam. Damn! I have been angling for that time slot for years! Foiled again!

Lies are often more comfortable than truth. Here are some lies, which, if true, might make the world a happier place:

Santa Claus. Your ass looks great in those jeans. Pearl Harbor was a surprise attack. Father knows best. Size doesn’t matter. JFK was killed by a lone gunman acting alone. You’ll love it at Levitz. And building 7, despite the fact that WTC landlord Larry Silverstein said on air in a PBS documentary that the building was brought down in a controlled demolition, was actually brought down because of fire- making it one of only three skyscrapers in history to do so.

Want to guess what the other two building were?

Even I lie. I am no Hermit. Clearly. And, like “Sting” or “the artist formerly know as Prince” or even “Mark Twain” my name is not even my name. CNN was rude enough to point this out in July of 2007:

Damn you John Roberts. And adjust your earpiece asshat, it is Groton, Massachusetts, not Groaten.

Why use an alias? My thinking when I started that was that all of politics and punditry is a stage – a scripted piece double speak distraction mind numbing infotainment. I thought that to play with the big boys, I had to become one of them. I had to literally become a character. My former sign off gesture, dancing like grown man who lost his white boy pills at the close of every show, was a not so subtle gesture to you all that my lie was equal parts entertainment and punditry.

Soon- December 11th, to be exact, THE HERMIT will cease production and I’ll appear on another YouTube channel, no longer wielding an alias.

I’ll take my material and perform live in clubs and see how long I can last without getting beer bottles thrown at me.

Got any foreign policy jokes?

I’m not retiring; I am taking it up a notch.

As far as the official stories behind why we dropped bombs on Vietnam, Hiroshima, Nagasaki; or the virginal status of myth named Mary; or the reasons building 7 came down you should know that all official stories behind these events are lies.