Lesson #1
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing
nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the
crow, and asked him, "Can I also
sit like you and do nothing all day
long?" The crow answered:
"Sure, why not." So, the
rabbit sat on the ground below the crow,
and rested. All of a sudden, a fox
appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate
it.

Moral of the story is:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you
must be sitting very, very high...

Lesson #2

A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to
the top of that tree," sighed the
turkey, "but I haven't got the
energy." "Well, why don't you
nibble on some of my droppings?"
replied the bull. "They're packed
with nutrients." The turkey pecked
at a lump of dung and found that it
actually gave him enough strength to
reach the first branch of the tree. The
next day, after eating some more dung,
he reached the second branch. Finally
after a fortnight, there he was proudly
perched at the top of the tree. Soon he
was promptly spotted by a farmer, who
shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but
it won't keep you there...

Lesson #3

When the body was first made, all the
parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said,
"I should be Boss because I control
the whole body's responses and
functions." The feet said, "We
should be Boss as we carry the brain
about and get him to where he wants to
go." The hands said, "We
should be the Boss because we do all the
work and earn all the money." And
so it went on and on with the heart, the
lungs and the eyes until finally the
asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed
at the idea of the asshole being the
Boss. So the asshole went on strike,
blocked itself up and refused to work.
Within a short time the eyes became
crossed, the hands clenched, the feet
twitched, the heart and lungs began to
panic and the brain fevered. Eventually
they all decided that the asshole should
be the Boss, so the motion was passed.
All the other parts did all the work
while the Boss just sat and passed out
the shit!

Moral of the story:
You don't need brains to be a Boss - any
asshole will do...