Mother's regret

THE SCARS OF ABUSE: A

Newport News woman convicted of murder regrets not standing up for her abused daughters

May 14, 2011|By Ashley Kelly, akelly@dailypress.com | 757-247-4778

NEWPORT NEWS — On the way to the hospital, 17-month-old Angeli Callender laid in her mother's arms. She could barely breathe.

Lillian Callender tried to give her daughter CPR, but it didn't work. It was March 1, 2010, and Callender's last chance to save her daughter's life. Her efforts were too late. Angeli's brain had swelled. She eventually went into a coma and doctors put her on life support.

"She looked like she was sleeping, but she had tubes running all through her body," Callender said.

When Angeli died two days later, her mother was not at her bedside — she was being questioned by police. A month later Callender and her boyfriend, Michael Stoffa, were charged with second-degree murder and two counts of felony child neglect.

Callender's crime was not inflicting the blow that killed her daughter. Her crime was standing by while Stoffa, 26, abused Angeli and her 2-year-old sister Yessenia, according to police. It's a crime that Callender may never forgive herself for, she said in a recent interview at Hampton Roads Regional Jail. Callender, 23, was convicted in January of felony murder. She will be sentenced in July. Stoffa's trial is scheduled for later this month. He declined to be interviewed.

Angeli is one of at least five children on the Peninsula and surrounding area who were killed by a parent or caregiver in the past year. Several other children have been severely abused and neglected. Two weeks ago, a Gloucester girl was found confined in a makeshift cage, wallowing in her own waste. In the backyard of the girl's home police dug up the remains of a child buried in a wooden box. This past week, the remains of a newborn boy were found in a plastic bag in storage bin in Newport News. Those cases are under investigation.

Details of how the deceased children were tormented vary.

Seventeen-month-old Jireh Gayles had human bite marks on his body when police found him dead last summer. Charles Poertner, 7, died from severe dehydration and only weighed 28 pounds when authorities found him dead on his living room floor. He'd been there for days.

Angeli and Yessenia were hit, kicked, punched and slapped by Stoffa in the two months prior to her death, according to the criminal complaint. Stoffa wasn't the children's biological father, but he was the man Callender thought they needed in their lives, she said.

Callender and Stoffa met in 2008 when they were stationed at Fort Eustis. Callender was a reserve soldier who worked as a cargo handler. Stoffa was a mechanic.

Callender says she wasn't interested in Stoffa at first because she was married. As her marriage deteriorated they became closer. She eventually separated from her husband and moved in with Stoffa in February of 2009.

"Initially he was strong and very supportive of my decision to leave my husband," Callender said. "He offered to take care of me and my children."

Callender says she was trying to escape a marriage that was laced with abuse. Callender took out a protective order against her husband in March 2009. She told police he had threatened to kill her and hit her in the head until she was unconscious, according to a petition for protective order filed in Newport News Juvenile and Domestic Relations District Court.

But escaping her marriage did not free her from a life of being battered.

Three months after moving in with Stoffa, Callender says, the abuse began. Stoffa would punish the girls for little things like the amount of juice they could drink, according to Callender.

"He would pin her to the bed and make her stand in corners," Callender said, referring to Yessenia who was unable to talk due to a learning disability. Callender said all the girl would say over and over was "daddy." It was the only word she knew.

Callender says Stoffa would also kick and slap her daughters, while Callender's 3-month-old son was never abused.

"If I tried to stop him he would beat me, too," Callender said. She took out an emergency protective order against Stoffa in September 2009, alleging assault. That kept him temporarily at bay but he returned when the order expired.

"I was scared. I didn't know what to do," she said. "I remember being abused when I was younger so I thought it was normal for a man to beat on a woman and kids."

She was perfect

Angeli had curly blond hair and brown eyes. She loved the swings at the playground, but was afraid of the slides. In one photograph she's wearing a white shirt with ruffled sleeves. Her cheeks are the color of roses.

"She used to smile just like me," Callender said as she wept.

"God, she was so perfect," Callender said. "She did everything to make us smile. She used to do everything to get her way. She would blow kisses to get chocolate. She used to dance around the house."