Whatever her issues are it sounds like she needs a lot more care and supervision and any of you can offer. Why can't you talk to her doctors and research home care and get a social worker in there? She sounds quite cognitively impaired so getting angry and disgusted etc won't help. What will help is a frank discussion with doctors, home care agencies, nursing homes and social workers. Get a housekeeper and home attendant at least. Look into her medicare/social security covering part of it. Who owns the home? Who has power of attorney to handle her finances if she is acting as impaired as you describe?

Originally Posted by Leah33

She has very limited income, myself and others pay for her living expenses, so...

Whatever her issues are it sounds like she needs a lot more care and supervision and any of you can offer. Why can't you talk to her doctors and research home care and get a social worker in there? She sounds quite cognitively impaired so getting angry and disgusted etc won't help. What will help is a frank discussion with doctors, home care agencies, nursing homes and social workers. Get a housekeeper and home attendant at least. Look into her medicare/social security covering part of it. Who owns the home? Who has power of attorney to handle her finances if she is acting as impaired as you describe?

True, but this has been ongoing for several years.

I've done all that (talk to doctors, help get her in rehab, aftercare, medicare/social security, applied for senior housing, etc.). She has no finances, no home. Her expenses have been her children's burden to bear.

I'm just going to talk to my sister about assisted living, or, we all chip in for her to have her own apartment, or she goes and lives with my sister.

It sounds like she needs help. Sorry you're going through this. I'd check out a few assisted living places. Stay strong in your resolve to find a good solution for all this. Don't crumble under the weight of it or how difficult it might be.

Unfortunately passing her around between siblings is a short term measure for a long term problem. She clearly has signs of cognitive issues and needs more help. If she has social security and medicare there is a lot more you can do. If she is indigent you can apply for medicaid. You need to stop guessing and passing her around and get a permanent solution because she is not suddenly going to become wealthy and self-sufficient.

It would be worth your while to be informed through social workers and an elder care attorney. Keep in mind living with someone over 65 and not attending to their needs or getting angry at them, wishing them the worst etc them can be construed as elder abuse. So does withholding whatever care she should be getting or not handling their finances in a manner that benefits them. Be careful ..

Originally Posted by Leah33

I've done all that (talk to doctors, help get her in rehab, aftercare, medicare/social security, applied for senior housing, etc. She has no finances, no home. Her expenses have been her children's burden to bear.