Your Turn

A judge in the Jason Patric custody case said that sperm donors who are not married to the woman they give sperm to are not entitled to custody or visitation

. Jason had given his sperm to his girlfriend when they broke up. She had a baby using it. The couple got back together and he started seeing his son all the time and when the couple broke up he wanted shared custody or visitation. What are your thoughts on sperm donors and custody? Is it different in this situation?

I think in this case it's different. It's not anonymous. She trusted him enough that when they broke up she requested his sperm. Then, she thought so much of him they got back together. What's wrong with this woman not letting her kid see his dad that he's used to seeing?

Yes, he is a sperm donor, but….. They had been together, then i guess as farewell present he gave her the requested sperm. Then they got back together, he got to know and love the baby, so i think he shoukd get visitation. He is childs father with a history, not an anonymous donor. Big diff. Didnt same thing happen with toukie smith and deniro? They agreed he'd donate sperm and sh'd raise baby,but after twins born he wanted parental rights and got them.

There was a decision in Kansas recently that said that because a sperm donor didn't go through a traditional clinic and even though the mother had signed legal documents absolving him of any responsibility (his name is not on the birth certificate), that the sperm donor IS the legal father and is financially responsible. I smell an eventual Supreme Court case (but not for many years).

If it was random from the sperm bank then no, they shouldn't have rights but she knew who he was AND let the kid bond with him as a father then yes there should be some parental rights there. Wouldn't want to be there when the kid learns the truth though poor thing

So, he signed over sperm with the explicit arrangement that he would not have any legal or financial ties to the child. The he gets back with the baby mama, and now he wants said rights that he signed away. I think the judge ruled the right way. The baby mama said he is welcome to have visitation, but she didn't want court mandated joint custody. Also, since he is in the child's life now, I'd like to seem him pay any back child support owed, and start paying child support regularly. Since he wants the legal ties now, he should be responsible for the financial ones as well

Thanks VIPBlonde for the extra info. These days, things are very muddled. So many blessings because of technology and societal changes but many complications. I am glad they are trying to clear things up now and I believe the mother should have custody as that was the previous arrangement and he should be allowed visitation.

I agree that sperm donors shouldn't have custody rights. Donors should be required to sign away their custody rights as a matter of course. I can understand where the emotional complications come from, but the whole system shouldn't be changed because of this rare case. He shouldn't get any more rights than any other de facto dad, regardless of the DNA contribution.

Jason Miller Gleason "Patric" is one of the biggest dillhole douche self-entitled losers to ever exist in the history of Hollywood; so it would be karma for him to finally not get something he whines for handed to him on a silver platter. But the little brat will probably get what he wants and leave more people back stabbed and lying in the dust.

Of course, I don't really know anything and this is just my alleged opinion. 😉

But he is really short. Really. That is not an alleged opinion. That is a fact. :-/

When he donated the sperm, it was very clear that he had no visitation/custody rights or financial obligations. So the fact that they got back together and he became attached to the child is akin to a man dating/marrying a single mother – unless he legally adopts the kid, he has no legal rights once they break up/divorce.

In this case I think he should be allowed to see the child, but any other case, no way jose.

VIP thanks for that info, ITA with you that you can't have both worlds. You can't sign away your rights and not pay child support but continue to be a father figure in that childs life. That is cheating man, why do you get to avoid what so many are in debt or in huge legal trouble for?

If she's requesting child support, given the facts that he supplied the sperm and a relationship with the child (who most likely called him daddy) then I can see why he would want visitation rights. Custody? Not so sure.

None of these scenarios end well. Stop playing with babies lives, it's not pretend babies. If you really want a baby get a totally anonymous donor and you don't have to worry about custody and you won't get money from him. You get the baby and isn't that what you wanted?

I used donor sperm for all three of my pregnancies (btw, it's totally fun picking your "baby daddy" out of the catalog. You can be so obnoxiously picky about it. *g*) My motto in live – "My house, my car , my kid." No custody battles, no split-weekends, no answering to anyone else on the decisions that you make for your child.

And I see her decision as totally wrong. Using someone you personally know as a donor? A little skivvy, but whatever. Letting the father back into the child's life and letting them build a relationship and a bond, then locking him out the kid's life? Unless he's abusing that child, that is an evil bitch move that will come back and bite her on the ass once that kid is old enough to realize what she did. He will hate her for it.

This is fine as long as she's not entitled to any child support. If she won't let him have anything to do with the child, he certainly shouldn't have to pay. Ultimately: Both of them are douchebags for not looking out for their kid.

@PuggleWug. One of the hardest things for my Mom after my parents divorced was to bite her tongue when it came to Dad (or when it came to John, for that matter,) but she knew that eventually we'd hate (or at least dislike) her for anything she said, true or not, when we were adults. And she was right, as an adult I have a lot more respect for how Mom handled it than how Dad did.

@MISCH" he was with Julia Roberts didn't want to get married and then Christy Turlington again didn't want to get married… He's a strange guy."Uhmmm, that would have required him to put another human being's wants and needs into consideration. That's not really his style.

I don't think that people who use anonymous sperm banks should have access to the information. I do think that Jason Patric has the right to see his child and shared custody, even if he signed it away in the past. He may have signed his rights away under duress or while he was depressed.

She may still let him see the child, but now she does not have to have his consent for schools, etc. She has more to say in his upbringing, which I think is right, given the fact that he did not want the child. If she is agreeable, he can still be the father's child emotionally.

She just does not have to involve him in her decisions. For example, she can marry and move away, unlike Hallie Berry.

I think the day she let him form a relationship with the child she undid whatever document they signed.

I vote for the child and if the child is aware and knows this man as his father, then they should be allowed visitation if there is no known abuse or anything he's done wrong toward the child.

In terms of support–if he wants to have the perks of fatherhood–and he wants to parent the kid, then he should pay support.

You think many things before the child is a reality–but this is a person they are dealing with–and the way you relate to a parent impacts your entire life–to let the child bond and know they have a father then cut that person out –will only hurt the kid.

If she had stayed independent and raised the child alone with no contact–and Patric was trying now to get rights I would feel differently–but the mother is playing fast and loose with her kid now.

I met with attorneys in two different states regarding using a man I knew and respected as a sperm donor. Life circumstances meant that I had to deal with the reality of aging eggs and no committed relationship. A friend was willing. However, in both states what we wanted to do was impossible. The reason is simple: in each of the states we dealt with (Kansas was one), the child has independent rights to the love and support of each bio parent. When sperm donation is done privately, the state doesn't recognize the "donation" part. If, however, I wanted to pay for the sperm (via sperm bank), then all was well — I would have all rights and responsibilities. Commerce trumps all. So the bottom line was that whether or not the donor and I signed a contract with whatever terms, it was irrelevant: I did not have the right to sign away support to the child; the child has an independent right to that support. It was a deal breaker for us.

I agree with car54, not sure what the law is but if the child has established a relationship with its biological father, once they got back together, seems to me the best interests of the child would be to treat it just like a couple that broke up and got back together.

I am sure there are couples that break up when the woman gets pregnant and the man comes around later and they get back together.

If you didn't want the father to be involved in this child's life you shouldn't have got back together with him or used anon sperm.

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