FauxPas

Home from the Hospital

On Friday night I was in a nasty car accident late evening. I am upset to say it was my fault, I turned in front of someone, the whole thing is kind of a blur, I don't even remember seeing the car. I got out with 2 cracked ribs and a partial collapsed lung and a laceration on my right ear which got 9 stitches and some glue.

What's worse is I almost killed my friend. She got really lucky and got off with 2 broken parts of her spine and broken tailbone, she is going to make a full recovery.

I am angry at myself still for letting this happen. I should have been paying better attention, I should have seen the car. I feel absolutely terrible for the whole thing. I am currently afraid to get behind the wheel of a car. I don't trust myself.

Comments

Oh my goodness, I'm just glad you all made it through. That's the most important thing.

I know it must feel horrible. I did something similar when I was eighteen. The other driver rammed my driver side, inches from killing my friend in the back seat. And it was entirely my fault, too. I felt like just sitting and crying, just as you've said. Like never driving again. Like I was no better than a murderer, even. I know the guilt and the shame all too well.

The words that helped me move past it years later were a very simple affirmation: I didn't try to hurt anyone. It was an accident, and everyone ended up OK. Friends forgive, and we do better next time. It's the same for you. You didn't set out to hurt anyone. Everyone is OK. And you'll make it through the guilt and the sadness. You're not a bad person; you made a mistake, but that doesn't make you a bad person.

This probably rings a bit hollow now, with the pain so fresh in your mind. But in a few weeks, take a look back at this, and you'll hopefully see that it's true. Thankfully, no one lost their life. And it was never your intent to hurt anyone. You don't have to beat yourself up or feel horrible. The guilt will pass, and you'll be OK.

You learned a valuable lesson from this experience. Please learn this one, too: your mistake doesn't invalidate the good person you are.

The thing to concentrate on here is the blessing: you were not killed. Your friend was not killed. What could have been is not what was. The old adage that hindsight is 20/20 can destroy us in situations such as this one: we know we bear fault in the event, so we wallow in the emotional pain of it, torturing ourselves endlessly. It's normal and natural. But it is also dangerous. Cry, yes. Crying is good; it is purging. Talk with someone if you can. Don't be alone if at all possible. But in your thoughts keep remembering those blessings and know that, no matter what, you will both survive. Ultimately, what does not kill us really does make us stronger, even though that is hard to see right now.

I'm glad you and your friend are okay. I've got a four year anniversary coming on 9/11 when I got hit while walking by a car.
I ended up with an implant in my forearm to replace part of the main bone. Hope you both recover in short order.

OMG! I'm glad to hear you're both OK. I've been in an accident before and have had several near misses, some my fault. It is scary the next time you get behind the wheel but rest assured you can and you must. Cry if you want to - it might help to let it out. I'm sorry this happened to you but things could have been a lot worse. God bless you both on a speedy recovery.