Sexting

Sending a sexual text, image or video can be dangerous if shared with the wrong person. Once you send a message, you're not in control of what happens to it. Even if it’s posted online we can help. Here's some advice about sexting.

What is sexting?

When people talk about sexting, they usually mean sending and receiving:

naked pictures or 'nudes'

'underwear shots'

sexual or 'dirty pics'

rude text messages or videos.

They can be sent to or from a friend, boyfriend, girlfriend or someone you've met online.Sexting can easily happen. Things can go wrong – even when you didn't mean for them to.

What you need to know about sexting:

once you send a message you can't control what happens to it

don't let someone guilt or pressure you into sending a sex text

if you've sent a nude pic, have an honest conversation with the person you sent it to. Ask them to delete it

if an indecent or nude pic of you is posted online, you can contact the website directly or make a report online to try and get it removed.

You've already shared photos – what now?

When sexting goes badly, it can make you feel ashamed, guilty, embarrassed or anxious. But there are things you can do to make the situation better and prevent it from happening again.

Try having an honest conversation with the person you sent the image to. Ask them to delete it. The quicker you're able to do this the better. You can't control what someone will do with an image, but having an honest conversation can help to make sure they won't pass it on.

Getting help

The sooner you talk to somebody about the situation the better. This could be your mum, dad, carer or a school teacher. Your school will have ways of dealing with these sorts of problems and can confiscate mobiles if they believe they have sexual images on them.

Reporting an image or video

If you’re under 18 and an indecent or nude pic of you is posted online, that's illegal. But we can help. You can contact the website directly yourself or report it to the National Crime Agency.

Not sure whether or not to say something? Making a report can be scary, but our counsellors are here to support you. They can talk about what might happen and talking to them is confidential.

You can talk to us

is sexting illegal?

When you’re under 18 it’s against the law for anyone to take or have a sexual photo of you – even if it’s a selfie.

This means that if you pressure someone into taking a photo or you share a sexual photo with someone, you’re breaking the law. The police have the power to decide whether it’s for the best to record what’s happened or to take things further. But the law is there to protect young people, not punish them.

If you’re both under 18 and in a healthy relationship it’s unlikely that the police would want to take things further.

Report sexting or bullying on social media

Social networks don’t allow naked images of people under 18. This includes photos of children who have turned 18 since the pictures were taken. If you see a naked image of someone under 18, or someone has shared a naked picture of you, this is illegal and there are things that you can do.

If you're over 18 and someone’s shared a naked or sexual picture of you without your consent they’re breaking the law. It’s not always possible to get these images taken down but there’s a special Revenge Pornography Helpline for people who are over 18 that can help.

Snaps automatically disappear once the person you sent them to has seen them. But it’s important to remember people can still take screenshots and save them. Then they’ll have a copy of your picture on their phone or tablet and that means Snapchat can’t delete it.

Make a report

If you get an abusive message you can take a screenshot. This way you'll have something to report. Snapchat will try to send a notification to the person who sent you the original message. So it’s important to think about how the other person might react if they know you've taken a screenshot of their message. But remember, you've done nothing wrong in reporting content that upsets you.

Advice will come up and underneath there’s a box that says ‘still need help?’. By selecting this, you’ll be taken to a form where you can explain.

Block someone

If someone’s bullying you on Snapchat, blocking them will stop them from sending abusive messages.

Sometimes you might be added by a username that you don't recognise. This can make it hard to tell if you know the person or not. A good idea might be to set up Snapchat so that you only receive messages from people on your friends list. You can do this by going to your settings then going to ‘Who can send me snaps’. From here, change to ‘my friends’ instead of ‘everyone’. Find out how to block someone on Snapchat.

On Facebook messenger, log in to your account and fill in the form if you want to report images being shared.

Block and report bullying

You can remove tags or block people who are sending you nasty messages. You can also report abusive posts or groups so Facebook can take them down. Reports are anonymous so the person doing the bullying won’t know who reported it. Facebook will tell you in your Support Inbox if they've been able to help.

Instagram is automatically set to public so that anyone can see your images - even if you don’t know them.

It can help to stop bullying if your profile is private. When your profile is private, anyone who wants to follow you and see your photos has to send you a request - which you can ‘approve’ or ‘deny’. This way you can control who sees your photos and can make sure only your friends can talk to you on Instagram.

Make a report

You should also report anyone who is being abusive to you. Instagram doesn’t allow naked pictures of under 18’s on their site. If someone’s shared a naked picture of you or someone you know, you can report it to Instagram. You can use the same form to report images shared on Instagram Messenger.

They won’t tell the person you’re reporting that it was you.

Block someone

If someone is sending you messages or comments that make you feel uncomfortable, angry or upset, a really good first step is blocking the user. The other person won’t know you’ve blocked them. They won’t be able to view your photos, send you comments or find you in search results.

If you block someone, they can still mention your username by using the ‘@’ sign. If you're still getting abusive messages, you can block the person and change your username. This means they can’t mention your username. Check out Instagram's page on blocking people to find out how.

Tweets can be ‘retweeted’ by other people – even if they aren’t following you. But if you change your profile so that you have protected tweets, this won’t happen. This means if you tweet, it can be very difficult to control who sees it. On Twitter, people who you don’t follow can still send you abusive tweets.

Stop bullyingIf you’re being bullied by someone you follow, the first step is to unfollow them. Go to their profile page and click or tap the ‘following’ button – this will turn red to unfollow. You can also tap the settings wheel next to the follow button – from there you can block the person.

Blocking someone stops them from contacting you. You can always unblock them if you want to in the future.

Sometimes if someone involved in bullying is blocked, they might create a new account to bully someone with. This can be really frustrating, but if you report it to Twitter they can help block all the abusive accounts.

People can send you direct messages on Twitter, even if you aren't following each other. If this is happening, you can make it stop by:

If someone’s bullying you on Whatsapp, the best thing to do is block the person and report them. It’s also a good idea to report them to an adult you can trust. They can help put a stop to the bullying. It can also help to have someone to talk things over with.

Report content

When you share images on Whatsapp, the person receiving them will then have copies on their phone, which they can share with people inside and outside of Whatsapp. Even if you delete a message or an image from your chat, others may still have a back-up or screenshot.

If they’re sharing the picture through Whatsapp you can report them by contacting Whatsapp support through the app. The person you're reporting may be banned from the app if it’s related to sexting. But this will not delete the photo from their phone.

Block someone

Blocking someone on messenger apps means they won’t be able to send you nasty messages. Usually the other person won’t know that you’ve blocked them. You'll just appear offline when they look at their contacts. If you're experiencing bullying on Whatsapp or another Instant Messenger app, saving the conversations will be really helpful when you report the bullying. Take a look at Whatsapp's support page to see what happens when you block someone.

When using video chat sites like Skype, Omegle and ooVoo, the person you’re talking to can record or screenshot your conversation without your knowledge. . Video chat sites can’t delete images or videos that have been screenshotted or recorded. This is because they’re saved directly to the person’s phone or tablet. Check each site's reporting and blocking functions before you start using it

Some sites, like Skype, let you report the person if this has happened to you though. You may also be able to block someone so that they cannot talk to you anymore.

People on Tumblr can ask you questions anonymously, which means you don’t know who they really are. Sometimes people decide to send abusive or hurtful messages to other people on Tumblr.

Block someoneIf someone sends you an abusive question or comment on Tumblr, you can block the user.

If you answer an anonymous question, your answer will always be published so that everyone can see it on your blog. It’s always better to delete anonymous questions, especially if they're abusive.

You can block anyone sending abusive messages. You can stop anonymous messages by clicking the ‘ignore’ button (the ‘x’ icon). This will block their account and stop their computer or device from sending messages to your account.

Stop bullyingWhen you create a Tumblr account, anonymous messages should be automatically turned off. But if you're receiving anonymous messages, you can stop this from happening by following these steps:

click or tap on ‘settings’ (the gear icon) at the top of your dashboard

Ask yourself if you'd feel weird if you were going to do something sexual with them in person. Would you be able to have a conversation about sex with them?

What to do if someone asks you to send a photo

Sometimes people send photos because they are indirectly made to feel guilty. For example, somebody might say "I sent you a photo, so where's mine?" or say that you "promised" them that you would send a picture. This is wrong. It's also a form of emotional blackmail.

You don't owe them anything and they shouldn't try to make you feel guilty.

They might threaten to post a sexual image of you online if you don't send them more images. This is wrong. It can feel scary or like you're trapped in the situation. But if you're not sure what to do, talk to a counsellor. We can help.

I'm feeling pressured

You shouldn't be pressured into doing anything you don't want to do. Sex and sexual activity of any kind is something people do together to feel good. It's not something which can be "owed". You don't have to do anything you don't want to do - even if you are in a relationship or have done sexual things with that person before.

How to stop someone sexting you

With text messages and calls it can be a bit harder to block someone. This means you should always be careful about giving people your phone number. You can block a particular number from contacting you on some mobiles.

WhatsApp and most messenger apps let you un-invite or block users. Check your phone user guide to see if yours can. If it gets too much, getting your phone number changed or buying a new SIM card is another option. A parent or carer could help you with this.

If an adult has been making you feel uncomfortable by asking you to send them images, you can report them on the CEOP website. If an adult does this it is sometimes called online grooming. It is wrong for anyone to be pressuring you in this way. If you are under 18, they are breaking the law.

What to do if you're sent sexual images

If you've been sent a sexual image or video, don't pass it on or share it with anyone. Think about how that person might feel if somebody else saw it. Think about how you'd feel if it was a picture of you. If you're asking your boyfriend or girlfriend for a naked photo, think about how much trust they'll need to give you and how much pressure you'll be putting on them.

People aren't always honest about who they are online. If you've received a sexual message (including things like an email, text message, picture message, sexual photo or voicemail) or one that makes you uncomfortable, try talking to an adult you trust.

Telling them about the message you were sent can help the situation.This is really important if you're under 18 or the other person is much older than you.

You can also report them using the CEOP reporting website and block them from contacting you again. This'll stop them from sending you more inappropriate pictures.