TOP 5 ALTERNATIVES FOR THE KANSAS CITY SUMMER WITHOUT THE JONES POOL!!!

RIGHT NOW WE'RE OFFERING THE TOP 5 ALTERNATIVES FOR KANSAS CITY DENIZEN D-BAGS WHO MISS THE JONES POOL!!!

Illustrated with some of our favorite bathing bikini beauties, natch.

Here we go . . .

5. Take a shower with a hooker.

Same probability of contracting something without the long-term membership fee commitment.

4. Stand too close to a public urinal and endure the splash back.

3. Make A Game Of It: Try To Find Kansas City Ladies Only 30lbs Overweight.

2. Does It Really Matter Where You Have A Coke Party?

1. WOODSIDE!!!

New and improved suburban digs make "Club Woodside" the pool party place to be for some of the most horrible locals who still look better than everybody else.

TKC Aside . . . This is another hit for Dead Tree Media because the annual Jones Pool photo spread (ewwwww) is their most popular image gallery of the year and comprised at least a month worth of content for INK. Still, we all must make sacrifices to assure the profit margins for Cordish while City Hall hopes and prays the luxury tower scheme will finally pay off.

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