[Antisteez Top 5]: Most “WTF?!” Moments of 2011

365 days of madness – that’s what we’re about, but apparently we’re not the only ones. All the year-end recaps on the tube got us thinking about the events that made our heads shake in disgust, crack-up or confused where we had to ask ourselves: “Did I hear this right?” We know you feel the same, so here are Antisteez’sTop 5 Most “WTF?!” Moments of 2011. Let us know what moments on our list made you say “WTF?!” the loudest, or if your moment didn’t make it. I’m sure it was perfectly list-worthy, we just gotta go out with the biggest bang we can think of. You know what I mean.

As a Cuban, please believe me that I was putting little glasses of water under each of my loved-ones’ beds, puffing cigar smoke into every room, and I almost killed a chicken to protect us from the evils that allowed this woman to walk free. It seems that everybody was certain that this duct-tape-fetish-and-little-heart-shaped-sticker-collector was the culprit … except the jury. Needless to say, everybody talked about this woman: From her lack of emotion, to her sly stares and the laugh attacks that she had to control during her own murder trial; none of us expected what we heard the day the verdict was read. Antisteez dubs this one as: TheWTF?! Moment That Almost Had Us Take The Law Into Our Own Hands.

So basically she got the name DRAKE tattooed across her forehead. Big, bold and ugly. According to the tat artist, she was not drunk; she was not dumb, all she wanted was DRAKE on her head, that’s all she asked for Sam-I-Am. Antisteez dubs thee: TheWTF?! Moment That Made Us Say “ew.”

Occupy: A movement to express the anger and frustration the American people feel over the rich “Fat Cats” that make their wealth off of the hard working man’s bread.

All across the country the Occupy Movement is making a dent in history. However, wherever there’s a cause - there’s The Man to shut it down. Police have raided the areas the Occupiers have taken over and trumped over their rights to peacefully assemble and protest. Raids have occured in Oakland, and in Boston they tore down a mini house structure made of plywood. Built as a symbolic representation to the caving housing market and the way banks are shamelessly foreclosing on homeowners … the same homeowners who bailed out said banks back in 2008. Antisteez dubs this one: The WTF?! Moment That Made Us Say: “Shame, shame.”

I remember this well because it was around my birthday and my favorite little spot was serving two-for-one’s Rapture Rum and Cokes which made it a very happy birthday indeed. This crazy preacher, Harold Camping, had the audacity to claim his fifteen minutes of fame by saying the end of the world was upon us on … get this … on May 21. Well, May 21 came and went with not so much as a spring storm and millions of us used it as an excuse for a reckless hook-up, binge drinking, and I wouldn’t be surprise if it sprung up a whole generation of post-Rapture babies. Not so fortunate where the poor saps who believed the crazy preacher and splurged all their savings on bunkers, salvation and SPAM.

Then he went on every channel, website and radio station to say: “Heh, did I say May 21? I meant October 21, OCTOBER 21 … yea.” Uh-huh. Gee, that’s funny because I clearly remember strutting down Lincoln Road on Hollow’s Eve in my hot Kitana costume. I guess he got his wires crossed when taking God’s messages cause in June of this year, Camping suffered a stroke that left him debilitated. We wish him a speedy recovery cause Lord knows we need all the excuses in the cosmos to party and get wild. Antisteez dubs this one: The WTF?! Moment With The Biggest Apocalyptic Fail.

Even wealthy basketball players are feeling the recession. The NBA locked them out earlier this year while they negotiated contract deals. I understand. I mean, I went to Dairy Queen just yesterday only to find it closed while managers and employees haggle wage contracts. So much for my daily Blizzard but, I digress, point I’m trying to make is that this is TOTALLY relatable. We all want more money to play. When I was kid playing freeze-tag with the homies, I was always the only one left tagging free my frozen friends. One day I had an epitome: I should earn moneyfor this. Long story short, my Freeze-Tag Player dreams where trumped before they even began. Thus, we’re back to the present where po’ folks like DWADE, Bryant and Howard are in turmoil over their meager paychecks; cause let’s be frank: Half of a multi-billion dollar pie is just not enough. Is my villa in the South of France just gonna take care of itself? I don’t think so! Antisteez dubs this one as: The WTF?! Moment That Made Us Sing: “Money, money, money, mo-ney! MONEY!!”

Happy End of the Mayan Calendar, folks! Catch you on the other side of 2012.