Oh mama... I'm so sorry.
My son died, almost a year ago now. The hospital I had him at, even though it was a c-section, they treated me like shit. I hear the same thing from so many women who lost a child, regardless of where their birth was... it seems like staff just don't know what to do about childloss. They have this idea that you should just get over it, or that the baby didn't "count" somehow - and it's cruel. IT wasn't until my second day of the hospital that I met anyone who was at all nice to me, and I craved that very much.

The grief and loss forum here is a good resource to find other mothers who know what you're feeling... I found it a really good place to talk.

Oh moma I am so sorry to hear of this!!! I had heard there had been a stillbirth but didn't know it was your family... I remember you from the FYT threads. I remember when you got pregnant. I am just heartbroken.

My baby boy died as a result of birth accident that occurred at home. We had DFACS show up because they have to look into every case where a baby dies (that's what they told us anyways). They cannot enter your house without a warrant. Remember that. We talked to them on the porch, gave them any info and references they asked for, but made it clear they were not coming inside. They never came back either, though I lived in constant nervous anticipation of a knock on the door for months!

So sorrry you had to go through that. As if losing your precious little one wasn't enough.

I don't know if you remember me, but I'm part of the local community. Maybe there is some "freaking out" but I know for SURE there's also plenty of "how can we help?" around too. We want to help in any way we can. As a mom who has lost a child, I know that ache all too well. If you want to talk, if you need a listening ear of someone who "gets it" I am here. I will PM you my number and other info.

You aren't alone. I know it feels that way sometimes. It's such a dark place, so hard to believe there's even an other side to the tunnel, much less light anywhere.

I am so so sorry. I too had a planned home birth that ended with a still born baby & hospital transfer. You are not alone, you do not walk this journey alone. PM me if you would like. Please be gentle on yourself mama, during this trying time. Rain

Cristina - "If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded." Maya Angelou

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine that there would've been any different outcome had you been giving birth in a hospital, from your description of events. I'm sorry you're being raked over the coals by the powers that be, hopefully they get their heads out of their rear ends soon.