Diana Ross’ Twitter is My New Favourite Thing

Call her Miss Ross – if you find her missing fanny pack.

The great thing about Twitter is that it gives famous people a chance to show their fans a glimpse into their everyday lives, and express their personal thoughts and feelings. I mean, yeah, Donald Trump’s Twitter is terrible… But Cher’s Twitter is pretty awesome – it’s kind of like if your 71 year-old grandmother was on Twitter… If your Grandmother was a super-progressive, politically active living legend.

Speaking of living legends I love, Diana Ross is also on Twitter. She isn’t nearly as prolific as Cher, but a recent post from Ms Ross has made me love her even more.

Let this sink in:

A) Diana Ross wears a fanny pack!

B) Diana Ross shops at Marshalls!

THIS IS AMAZING. Picture it, if you can: Diana Ross thumbing through racks of off-price sweaters. She sees a cute little cashmere number from Ann Taylor. Oh, but it’s a V-neck. She was looking for a crew neck. Hey, there’s an adorable blouse on that clearance rack! Oh, it’s Ivanka Trump. Diana Ross moves it to the back of the clearance rack, next to the clear-knee mom jeans.

Diana Ross takes a red sequinned gown that she found in the “gowns only Diana Ross could get away with” section, and goes to the Marshalls fitting room.

She gets home, and is craving a Scotch mint. She always keeps a few in her fanny pack because, you know, she’s 73 year old lady. But her fanny pack is nowhere to be found!! Diana Ross is inconsolable – it was a free gift with purchase from when she did that workout video in 1981, and it was the last one she had!

But then some kind soul finds it and returns it to her. Could you imagine being the person that found that? You see a well-worn fanny pack in Marshalls, you open it up, and you see DIANA ROSS’ DRIVER’S LICENSE staring back at you!

And Ms Ross was grateful to get her beloved fanny pack back! Like, two-tweet grateful!

I mean, if I lost my wallet, I’d be pretty ticked off. Could you imagine Diana Ross on the phone?

“Hi, this is Diana Ross. I need to cancel my Discover Card. I lost my fanny pack at Marshalls…. Yes, THAT Diana Ross…. Yes, a fanny pack…. Last time I used it? The Saks Off 5th at the Beverly Center. I found a wonderful feather boa at a price less than you’d find at department stores.”