Assorted Stupidity

Assorted Stupidity #126

August 7, 2019

According to this report, “[i]nvestigators quickly identified” a man who robbed a bank in Cleveland on July 29, but that’s not accurate. The teller identified him, and did so rather easily because he had written his demand note on the back of a document he had used earlier at the Bureau of Motor Vehicles. “When you present a note that has your name [and address] already on it,” an FBI agent was quoted as saying, “it helps law enforcement tremendously.”

An argument can apparently be made that Florida law requires a law firm to use periods when abbreviating “professional association”—in other words, it should be “P.A.” and not “PA.” But it’s not a good argument. And even if it were, that still wouldn’t mean, for example, that you could create a firm of your own with the same name (but with the periods) and then pose as a lawyer with that firm, much less that you could rip the back door off the building and steal the former firm’s safe and computer server for your own use. Nope! That sort of thing will get you disbarred, actually, no matter how good you are with punctuation.

Kentucky sources report that somebody took a shot at Bigfoot in Mammoth Cave National Park on July 31—or at least that’s what he claimed. “When [a camper] confronted the shooter, he said that the strange man claimed he had just seen Bigfoot pop out from behind his tent” and had fired to scare it away. Authorities found no trace of Bigfoot, so it obviously worked.

If you have been wondering what the fine is for carrying a live deer into a liquor store in British Columbia, the answer seems to be $345.

If you have been wondering what the fine is for throwing a refrigerator down a ravine in Spain, the answer seems to be about $50,000. Plus, you will have to go get the fridge yourself.