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Your morning meal, now with a shoe shine

Sometimes it's better when people call a spade a spade, though always it would probably better if your grandmother quit using that word completely. Being old isn't an excuse! Appropriately calling their mid-morning munchies what they are, Brunch.

A massive morning (and afternoon) eatery sporting towering wood beams, floor-to-ceiling windows, and drum-shaped light fixtures, Brunch is accommodating those on the move with a quick-fix grab 'n go area up front, and those on the stay with a glass-walled, flatscreen-equipped Board Room, the perfect setting to tell Gary Busey you no longer need his services, as they only consist of standing around jabbering at your sandwich. From-the-griddle options include red velvet pancakes with a sweet cream cheese glaze, a ham/turkey/Swiss-infused Monte Cristo waffle, and a French-toasted New England hot dog stuffed with apple chicken sausage called the Slumber Party, marking the only time bringing sausage to one won't land someone in jail. Those craving eggs will find roasted pork benedicts topped w/ chipotle Hollandaise, a pancetta 'n panko-wrapped Scotch egg on a bed of greens and roasted tomatoes, and a rotating selection of toasted ciabatta Brunch Sliders, also Iceman's nickname for him when he looked good enough to eat (which was always).

For those looking for a little something extra, there's a booth staffed by the Shinettes, a shoe-shine service consisting entirely of females, though thankfully not your grandmother, as she basically shouldn't be allowed in public.