I just got off with this fart fetish loser who was lusting for my Jewish ass. I ended up plucking a couple hundred dollars out of this fetish addict. I feel so much lighter after lighting this bitch up with my ass over the phone.

We work together in an office. You are bossy, bratty, spoiled, bitchy, and beautiful – an alpha-female. You are my boss, and I’m secretly in love with you.

Earlier this morning, you have decided to fire me with no explanation, for no reason other than you felt like it – it gives you a rush to have that power, and you never deny yourself anything that gives you pleasure, even though it ruins my life in this case.

At the end of the day, everyone has gone home except for the two of us. I come to your office and confess being in love with you. You make of fun of me, telling me that it’s been obvious with the way I follow you around like a little puppy dog, doing whatever you tell me, even when it’s not work-related. In desperation, I humilate myself further by offering to pay you money to let me kiss and lick your ass, and even eat everything that comes out of it when you’re body is relaxed.

You of course make fun of me for being so pathetic, but you also like this idea because you get everything and I give up everything. You reach into my pants, cupping my balls with your hand, and you tell me that you’ll accept my offer on three conditions: 1.) I sign a contract that I will give you a certain amount of money, regularly and for the rest of our lives, 2.) I am to beg for permission first every single time, and 3.) I am to thoroughly clean out your butt, inside and out, with my tongue. You are the Princess and I am going to pay to eat out your royal ass, even though you fired me for no reason.

In heated desperation, I sign whatever you put in front of me, without even reading it. You then tell me to sign a blank check and give it to you, which I do. I then strip naked and get on all fours at your feet to beg for permission to eat your butt. You tease me, saying things like “Do you want to eat that butt?” “Do you wanna’ get that butt?” “Come get that butt!”, like I’m your eager little puppy. I keep begging, until you finally put your bare butt in my face.

As I eat your puckered asshole and taste how delicious it is, I ask you to please fart in my mouth. Laughing, you tell me it will cost $20 per fart. I pull a wad of money out of pocket and peel off a $20-bill. Exasperated, you take the whole wad of money out of my hand and agree to feed me a violent torrent of your royal gas. I spend the night eating farts out of the asshole of the bitchy girl who fired me for no reason. As it should be.

More phone sex fan mail from the losers who call me. This phone sex fantasy email kinda totally grossed me out. I had to share this tidbit from the kingdom of phone sex fantasies. I never did the call with him because I found it way too repulsive to deal with. I suggested he seek someone less prissy then I am because that topic was so not fit for a Jewish Princess like me.

” You’ve been around me Your whole life. i watched You grow up and knew You were wrapping all the boys around Your little finger. once You graduated college You needed a place to stay, Your aunt(my Wife) suggested You stay with us. She was heading out of town for the summer initially anyway, she said something about having You taking care of me, keeping me out of trouble. once she was gone You confronted me. “uncle! you are a dirty pervert and I am going to help you be the sissy-slut you’ve always dreamed of.”

“what?!” i asked incredulous, “where would You get that idea sweetie?”

You slapped me hard on the face and firmly grasped my balls, taking complete control of me. “I was on your computer last night uncle, I’ve seen your porn collection and the perverted sites that you visit. feminization, faggot sites, BBC’s, cuckold porn. and well your wife warned me that you had a few quirks.”

I love a phone sex caller who’s prepared and know’s what he wants. I often get rejects who call me and expect me to ramble as if i’m doing a monologue. Fuck that shit, come prepared or be able to keep up with me. Let’s face it the majority can’t keep up. I generally won’t read someones script and do it they way they want because bitch’s aren’t paying me enough for that. I mean let’s get real here, You’re not my director, I’m the director and I’m here to direct all funds to my bank account.
So lets take a look at this fart fetish lovers butt sniffing phone call that he wanted to do with me. So many guys want to smell my juicy Jewish ass!

“Back Story:

These 2 girls on your cheer team just gave you a DVD today. Their names are Brenda and Sara aka “The BubbleButt Twins”. They are both in shape and very tan. They are “thick” by normal standards: both have D cup breasts, thick powerful toned legs and of course both have HUGE tight tan bubble butts. Brenda has dyed blond straight hair and Lacy has very soft, curly brunette locks. Both are Valley girlish (so are you) They are 2 of the bitchiest, most materialistic girls at your high school and they told both of you a story today. Sara found some creepy old rich guy on a web chat who is willing to pay her and Lacey very handsomely to take turns ripping farts in his face while he is tied up at his home. Of course they both have their eyes on new Versace bags so they gladly agree to do it. They filmed the whole thing and have since made copies and gave one to every girl on the cheer team to see “the most hilarious thing…….EVER.” The fantasy begins with you girls popping in the dvd at one of your homes. (It is just the two of you.)
Girl #1: So, what am I watching?

Girl# 2: Apparently, Brenda Brand and Sara Dice found this old creepster in a chat room who offered to pay them like $100 per fart to break wind in his face while he was tied up!

Girl #1: HAHAHAHAHA WHAT?!?!??!

(As Girl #2 says this the movie on the TV screen and begins with the old guy tied up (both arms and legs) and Brenda’s huge butt hanging right over his face……..) His head is covered in black panty hose with a small part cut out so his nostrils are sticking out of the pantyhose……

Girl #1: Brenda’s butt is even more GINORMOUS than I imagined! This old butt burglar is in deep shit!!……….LITERALLY!!!!

Both Girls: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA

Girl #2: You said it…….Oh noo…..Brenda is squatting right over his face and Lacey is spreading those huge tan ass cheeks…….Ewwww gross!!!!! Her bunghole is like, totally pressed right up against his nose!!!! HAHAHAHA I can’t watch!!!!!!

Liz Lemon Leia knows where its at. May the loser force be with you nerds! Princess phone sex is what you nerds crave. The hot girl in high school that only talked to you so you would do her homework. Here I am! Laughing in your face, turning you into a sissy who wears hot pink lace panties to work. You’ll do what ever humiliation assignment I give you AND you LOVE IT!

You know how I always think farts are like so hilarious because they are.And you know the fart fetish thing makes me laugh even more. I love exploiting a fetish so the whole fart fetish thing is right up my ally. Ha Ha up my ally get it…. Well, yet another Jewish fart obsessed loser has come looking to smell the royal stench from my ass. So, I made this flatulence freak a mp3 for a small fee of $200 for 5 minutes of my melodic story and farts.

“Your highness, I have a certain request. You sometimes talk about your farting, and I would like you to record a video in which you fart and hummiliate me (or all your fans) for sniffing your farts (or pretending to).
I would like you to record a sound clip for my particular fetish, flatulence. Since I am a virgin (of eighteen years – so a high school theme would be great), it would be appropriate that you humiliate me for that, telling me that I am no good for anything than serving you or any woman and your/their (preferably sweaty) ass and sniff your/their farts.