Those convicted, and even suspected, of vehicular manslaughter, should be summarily executed.

Capital punishment is a mockery.

A mockery of common sense. One of its presumed ambitions is that it “deters” murder. This is garbage. If it was such a deterrent, why are murders still committed in states where capital punishment is legal (in abundance)? Capital punishment is not a deterrent to murder because most murder is committed in 1) an act of impulsiveness, or 2) accidental or situational contexts, often falling in “manslaughter” territory. These types of murder are spontaneous in nature and as such, pay no heed to the possibility of execution. Even premeditated murder is cushioned by the possibility that the killer, if smart enough, will elude capture, but it’s a risk. The common reasons for murder do not entail “gambling.”

If people just owned up and were forthright about what capital punishment accomplishes for themselves, which is the bloodcurdling desire for vengeance, I would respect it. But capital punishment is cloaked in highfalutin concepts of justice. Thus, a mockery. Even in societies where capital punishment is doled out liberally and consistently to a multitude of crimes, beyond murder even, people still commit crime! The threat of execution does not stop most murderers from consciously taking a life.

I strongly reconsidered my stand on capital punishment today after being inconvenienced by a traffic jam in downtown this morning. I didn’t listen to the news in the morning (I rarely do), so I had no clue what was going on. When I got to work I immediately checked out my favorite newsXsmut hybrid here in the City of the Angels and sure enough, a hot-off-the-press report of an accident in Boyle Heights at the intersection of 4th and Boyle awaited me. The accident took the life of an innocent woman who found herself in the wrong intersection at the wrong time. Reports say that 2 cars were either racing or that one was chasing the other on the 5 Freeway at a high rate of speed. They exited and sped down 4th street where one of the drivers “t-boned” the woman’s car and killed her instantly.

Granted, driving around at 3 in the morning is not advised, but there are many reasons people have to be driving around at that hour. She may have been going to work or picking up medicine. The point is, she was not involved in the unraveling incident but she paid for it with her life. This is really fucked up. As someone who (occasionally) drives in this shithole commute that is Los Angeles, I can attest to the preponderance of people who become psychopathic behind the wheel. Driving 3 tons of steel is unnatural. People complain about guns, but the real killer is the automobile. Cars are death in our hands. Think of it. You are basically free to propel thousands of pounds of steel and rubber at speeds over 100 mph. People’s lives rest on your judgement and caution and good sense. But good sense is sorely lacking. People cannot handle this “privilege.” They are lunatics. The lunatic driver demographic is more pronounced in certain “groups” but that does not discount the fact that people in general lose their minds behind the wheel. Cars are basically large robotic embodiments of our persona; cars turn us into robocommuter. No one gets in our way…watch as we blaze a new trail through the concrete wastelands of the big city. Stay out of my path! I will run you over and smother your feeble ass. I am not human. I am steel! I am iron! Yes! 99% of people completely lose sight of the fact that they are simply one minuscule biological iota sharing an overly large space with a bunch of other biological iota’s, and all of them equally over-represented by metal. Very, very few drivers drive their car as if it was their captive body. People on the road are nuts!

So when I saw this my ire immediately rose. Shit like this happens everywhere. People, especially young “men,” drive like clowns. They drive like brave idiots because the car really is nothing more than a humongous penis for most young guys. They wear their hostility and aggressiveness like an automotive tattoo. If it was legal for everyone to walk around with a gun from the age of 16 and older, I guarantee you there would be a lot less of these kinds of Boyle Heights accidents.

So this is my proposal.

All vehicular manslaughter cases involving reckless driving (speed, swerving, etc) will now be punishable by death. Simple as that.

This is why it will work.

Whereas capital punishment is strategically intended to punish the hard core, disreputable murderers of the world, it is institutionally not allowed to filter down into the sane population like it might in the typical Muslim country. Capital punishment is mythologized in America. It is spared for the monsters who we imagine to be remorseless destroyers and takers of life civilized.

But does anyone consider that there are many people who fit this label who are sharing the road with us?

People who may not be inherently “evil” but whose actions are? Why is it that if the driver who killed the woman in Boyle Heights last night would face a harsher sentence if he was drunk? Why shouldn’t sober people who kill others through vehicular negligence be held to the same level of accountability as a drunk driver? I think it’s time we begin treating the act of driving the same as possessing a licensed loaded weapon. It’s easy to get a driver’s license, and much easier to drive a car. I propose that anyone who abuses the privilege of driving, to the extent it costs another person their life, should be summarily executed. Whereas capital punishment will not curb deliberate murders, it will deter people from driving like idiots because most of these people are actually sane as long as they aren’t behind a steering wheel. The police, upon arresting the driver last night, should have had the legal right to essentially shoot him in the head, on the spot. Call the coroner to clean up the mess. They were in the neighborhood cleaning up the other mess.

I guarantee you the deterrent effect of capital punishment will finally work!