The NFL’s Hard Knocks Targets

The NFL as well as its owners have gotten together and made an actual rule about a cable television series. Hard Knocks on HBO will always have a team to showcase. If no team volunteers, then the NFL can actually assign a team to be filmed during training camp for Hard Knocks. The exemptions for that designation include teams with a new coach, teams that have been on the show in the last ten years, and teams that have made the playoffs within the last two seasons.

That got us to thinking exactly how many teams could have been forced to take on Hard Knocks before the 2013 season. The list is a lot slimmer than you might think. As a matter of fact, it looks like a grand total of four teams would have qualified.

1) Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Who knew that this would be the team that you would want to see? Tampa Bay 2013 would have been epic. First, you have a situation where a legendary control freak is forced to have a camera in his face all the time. Second, you have the drama of Derelle Revis coming on to the team and maybe or not practicing. We could have gotten an early hint of the tension between Greg Schiano and now ousted quarterback Josh Freeman. In short, we could go back to a television show to build up to a disaster of a so far winless season.

2) St. Louis Rams

Two words… Cortland Finnegan. Two More Words… Smack Cam. Please, for the love of all that is holy, let Cortland Finnegan attempt to put a pie in the face or just slap the hell out of everyone attempted to be interviewed or filmed on Hard Knocks. Finnegan manages to do this even when it is just a regular interview. Can you actually imagine letting this man loose on a Hard Knocks set? This is ten times better than Antonio Cromartie trying to remember what his kids’ names are. This is what every Hard Knocks should have from now on… a running gag. Granted, Finnegan is a pretty legendary jerk but isn’t a legendary jerk what has powered reality TV since the early Real World?

Carolina Panthers

A Carolina Panthers Hard Knocks could answer a bevy of questions. First of all, what exactly does Carolina Panthers Head Coach Ron Rivera look like? Second, you will now get all Cam all the time. He might even finally get his spinoff series on some network called Cam on Cam. Generally, all you have to do with Cam Newton is turn the camera on. We are also pretty sure that the Panthers have something like fifty other players as well. The important thing is that you can have fifteen minutes of every show minimum be nothing but your Cam Cam. What is the rest of it? Please, bring in that kid every day to just loosen his arm.

Tennessee Titans

What could possibly be the appeal of the Tennessee Titans on Hard Knocks? First, ask Chris Johnson about himself. Second, find the single players on the Tennessee Titans and follow them. The Jane Austen novel Pride and Prejudice started out stating that a young man with wealth must be in search of a wife. In the days of professional athletics, a young athlete with money must be in search of a baby momma. Tennessee has no shortage of women looking to be baby’s mommas even without the impetus of a professional contract funding it. The Tennessee Titans Hard Knocks would hardly need to spend any time at all watching the players practice. You could make an outstanding show based on nothing more than terrible pick-up lines as well as even worse karaoke.