Anyone who thinks they can become a leader by reading a book on leadership is really just a follower.

Why doesn’t someone write a book on followership?

“Leadership books are a dime a dozen, and most don’t last a week,” writes – of all people – renowned management guru Tom Peters on the jacket of a book he does recommend called, “The Leadership Challenge.”

Many leadership books boil down to a few basic things we wish all of our leaders would do: Stop lying, stop manipulating, stop intimidating, stop self-dealing and stop being a jerk to employees, investors, customers and to your own moms.

“Contrary to the old model for success derived from money, control and power, the new model for greatness centers on weaving humility into daily interaction,” according to a leadership book I received in the mail called, “Apples are Square.”

But apples are not square. And anyone pursuing a “model for greatness” isn’t “weaving humility” into anything.

Another common theme with these books is having a positive attitude.

I hate when people tell me to get a more positive attitude. I do my best work when I have a negative attitude. Besides, most people would automatically cop a positive attitude if they got paid more and didn’t have to work for an idiot.

“Are you relentless? High energy, positive attitude and tenacity count,” writes Jack Stahl, former president of Coca-Cola and chief executive of Revlon in his book, “Lessons on Leadership: The 7 fundamental management skills for leaders at all levels.”

Notice there’s always five, seven or 12 of something in these books, depending on the author. A book called “The 100 Greatest Leadership Principles of All Time,” quotes poet and satirist Lord Byron who said: “When we think we lead, we are the most led.” I think that best explains the whole leadership genre.

One book that I received a news release about appears to severely limit my chances for advancement. “White men can’t lead,” according to Juana Bordas, author of “Salsa, Soul and Spirit: Leadership for a Multicultural Age.”

“We’re leading as if our companies are filled with white men and, quite clearly, that’s no longer the case,” Bordas said in the release. Leaders need to study history.

“You can’t just go to a seminar for a day and come out understanding why the old Eurocentric leadership models won’t work in a globalized world.”

“The Leadership Challenge,” by James Kouzes and Barry Posner of Santa Clara University is one of the most respected leadership books ever written. A fourth edition has just been released after the first three sold 1.5 million copies.

The authors based their advice on thousands of case studies. They then developed “five practices of exemplary leadership,” which are “model the way,” “inspire a shared vision,” “challenge the process,” “enable others to act” and “encourage the heart.”

I got Kouzes on the phone on Friday. He seems like a nice guy, not taken with his immense success as guru to some of the world’s biggest companies.

Great ideas, I told him. But the fast money is in slashing, outsourcing, merging, flipping, book-cooking, hiring undocumented workers and moving on to the next thing before anyone figures out what hit them. Read the news. Read history. Many of our leaders are just highly evolved sociopaths.

“There is absolutely zero evidence that one can be effective in the long term by being a sociopath,” Kouzes said. “Boards of directors who permit that kind of behavior are colluding. … We have to hold our leaders’ feet to the fire.”

As long as there are bad leaders, the leadership book market will thrive.

“We educate leaders that these are the more effective practices,” Kouzes said. “It’s their choice whether to follow it.”

So there you have it. You can lead a leader to water, but you can’t make him wash. Which brings us to the best leadership advice I have ever read.

It was on the bathroom wall of an Einstein Bros. Bagels store. It said: “Great Leaders Always Wash Their Hands.”