11 Money Issues You Absolutely Must Talk About In A Relationship

It's no surprise that money is one of the biggest reasons couples fight, given that it's a huge factor in determining your stress, happiness, and the kind of life you live in general. But it's also extremely personal, and sometimes talking to someone about finances can feel almost as intimate as standing in front of them completely naked. But when you're in a relationship, pushing money talks under the rug is a guaranteed way to stumble over them later, probably at the most inconvenient time. Here, 11 money-related chats every couple needs to have in order to be as blissed out as possible.

1. Who's going to pay for dates.

Many times, the man pays for the first few dates in a straightrelationship(doing it the other way around is just as awesome, but not as common). Similar issues aboutwho pays after the first few dates can crop up in same-sexrelationshipsas well.Will you go dutch, trade off who pays, or share equally except for special occasions when you decide to treat each other? It's not something you have to discuss in detail if you don't want to, and it often arises organically in the moment. But it's also one of those seemingly little things that can wind up breeding a lot of resentment, so best to make sure you both agree before it gets to that point.

2. How much you emphasize spending vs. saving.

Padding your nest egg is obviously important, and it also happens to be one of those "I'm a real adult" things that warrants a pat on the back. It's normal to have differing views on how much you should generally be spending and saving (although if you're on the same exact page, it can validate the fact that you two are truly perfect together). One way to figure out the nitty-gritty of how you two spend and save is sitting down to chat about your budgets. It's not like you have to come prepared with color-coded spreadsheets, but having a general chat about how much you each save can bring a surprisingly sweet element of transparency to your relationship.

3. How much debt you each have.

It can be tempting to keep this financial card close to your chest for more reasons than one. Maybe you have so many students loans you consider Sallie Mae to be a legitimate adversary. On the other hand, you might have no debt and feel uncomfortable if your partner's the one who will be paying bills off for years. No matter where you fall on the debt spectrum, it's important for both of you to come clean. At the very least, you'll be in the know about how the other is staying on top of their finances, which can help avoid any unwelcome surprises down the line. And if you're really committed, you may decide to come up with an action plan to tackle your various loans together.

4. What kind of travel you're into.

Perhaps you're all about low-budget camping trips featuring fireside chats and stunning post-hike summits, but your partner typically likes to explore the world with a few more creature comforts at their disposal. Hashing out how you like to spend money on you travel can help ensure you both look forward to vacations with delight instead of dread. Since there's a chance you may prioritize different things, one great way to make it work is by deciding you both get one high-priority aspect to "splurge" on, according to your budget. Everything else can be a compromise!

5. Your credit scores.

Even if you have only moderate or little debt, your credit score is like an elephant in that it basically never forgets. It can take years for your credit to recover from ill-advised financial decisions like defaulting on loans, making it harder to do things like buy a house or car. The good news: it's definitely possible to rehab a bad credit score. That's why even though it's scary, being upfront about it is necessary when you're in a long-term relationship. It doesn't have to be a deal-breaker as long as whoever has the iffy credit is committed to improving it!

6. If you plan on buying a house.

Renting is convenient, especially if you're bouncing around between different jobs or cities. But after awhile, it feels like throwing money into a black hole. If you can afford to, why not pay down your own mortgage instead of your landlord's? Buying a house can be a hugely stressful and financially-draining undertaking, which is why it can be so lovely to have support from a partner who's willing to go in on it with you. But if one of you is buying the house solo, definitely talk logistics like when the other would move in and how much of a say they should have in the house purchase.

7. Whether you're going to join bank accounts.

This can seem like one of those things every couple does, but the truth is that you don't have to! There are so many ways, all of which work for different couples. You can fully link accounts, keep all of your money totally separate, or meet somewhere in the middle by starting a joint account for shared expenses. There's really no wrong way to go about it as long as you're both honest and comfortable about the situation.

8. How you'll split living expenses.

If one of you works from home, will you pay more for rent? Or will the person who brings in more money contribute more? Or do you two think it's fairest to divide living expenses completely down the middle?

9. Who going to stay on top of the bills.

When you move in together, paying your bills on time becomes even more important. It's always an excellent idea because it helps you maintain awesome credit, but then there's the added factor of avoiding any fights that come up about late payment fees, or pointing the finger about who forgot to pay. Financially responsible people usually get some joy out of doing things like this anyway, so whoever's more in control of their money will probably be happy to take this on.

10. Whether you want children or not.

Babies are wonderful, but they can also be a total money-suck. That's why they're so cute—as a way to convince people that even after all the physical, emotional, and financial stress, kids are still worth having! When you're together long-term, it's smart to discuss whether you want to have kids at all, but don't stop there. If you both do, talk about how you envision raising them—public school or private? Can one of you afford to be a stay-at-home parent? Discussing it before actually having them can help you get on each other's level, plus then you can get all giddy about bringing little humans into the world together.

11. What your ideal career trajectory looks like.

This is generally good to discuss so you both know whether any major salary shakeups could be in your future, like if you're a high-powered executive but dream of quitting to be a writer, or if you plan on going to grad school at some point. Of course it's all subject to change, but then you two can keep these ideas in the back of your mind when talking about the future. Also, you can support each other in pursuing your dreams, which is basically the foundation of a great relationship.