Trump to Intelligence Community: “There Will be no Place for Intelligence in my Administration”

NEW YORK – After criticizing U.S. Intelligence agencies at the press conference on January 11th, Donald J. Trump has now condemned their entire existence. “My administration will be void of intelligence, any intelligence, whatsoever,” the president said. “We just can’t deal with it. By the way, Mr. Clapper –You’re FIRED!”

James Clapper, the now former US Director of National Intelligence, thought Mr. Trump was joking when he received his dismissal. “I told him I agreed the claims in the dossier about a Trump sex tape were unsubstantiated,” Clapper said. “I expressed my profound dismay at the leaks – or, I should say…leaked evidence. Mr. Trump was quite pissed – I mean, angered.”

It appears to be too late for Clapper, and the rest of America’s intelligence officials. All intelligence organizations will be dissolved.

Republicans in congress are expecting Trump to “drain the swamp” of any further intelligence that might be left. Most government officials, including Republicans, disagree with the whole idea of Trump’s new intelligence-free leadership.

Former CIA chief John Brennan pointed out on “Fox News Sunday” that the president’s behavior has always been lacking in intelligence. “Unfortunately, the rest of the world will now see a country run by people with no intelligence,” Brennan said.