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love is a messy business but still be my bloody valentine

Yes, yes, I know what you’re thinking. In fact don’t even start on it by thinking it. Stop it right now. Hey you, you’re still thinking it. Don’t think I can’t get to you from here. I can and I will with so much pointiness so so much points with bits on the end that are sharp and really really….and well you get the point. It’ll sting a bit.

But love does hurt and when you’re getting it at the end of a large and imposing arrow. I say imposing but we both know I mean impaling. A great big imposingly impaling mind controlling arrow. What? Were you under the delusions that those feelings were real? Oh no no no, you’re my little puppet playing a part in my soap opera of life. I mean I used to let people write their parts and play them as they pleased but they were just too boring. I had to spice things up a bit and yes some red squishy thing happen.

Oh don’t look at me like that. You’re still thinking of me a this little cherubic figure floating about in a nappy firing love bombs at the populace. Well some of us grow up. I say grow up but I really mean get older. Arrows get bigger. Aims get sloppier and hearts may pop out the back of the body.

But still, at least it’s not Friday.

Friday the 13th that is.

Ah but it’s Saturday the 14th and you know what that means. I’m in the mood to break a few of those rules. Oh you know the ones. The saucy ones. I want to do it. I so want to do it. I’m going to do it. It’s going to happen and it’s going to be wonderful. I can’t stop myself. I’m going to explode with it right now. Here it comes…..I’ll be right back.

Hee hee that feels so naughty.

“I’ll be right back.”

I hear those little college campers saying it all the time and my word it’s like the universe is setting them up for the ultimate ironic twist. I’m just a natural force doing what nature commands. It’s not like I plan any of this months in advance with diagrams, charts and scale models mapping out every eventuality with the pin point accuracy of any chess grand master.

Ah but it’s over now and there’s only…um…bugger….four weeks till the next one. This almost never happens. Three of them in one year. Would this be considered overtime? Where the union? Call the union. Do we have a union? Yes we do but the union rep is a bit of a Pinhead.