So the hatemail dubbed me THE.... Sodomite Hal Duncan!! (sic) So I will wear that with pride, cuntfuckers. It's like The Outlaw Josie Wales only better, right? I mean, did he have a fully capitalised THE, an extra-long dramatic pause, and two exclamation marks? No, he did not. Chickenshit.

Monday, December 23, 2013

No, WE Pardon YOU

THE ELDERS OF SODOM, by the Grace of Cock of the Celtic Union of National Territories of New Sodom and Elsewhen and of our other Realms and Territories, QUEERS, Heads of the Cocksuckery, Defenders of the Flounce, to all to whom it these Presents shall come,

Greeting!

WHEREAS Alan Mathison Turing at Knutsford Quarter Sessions on the 31st day of March 1952 pleaded guilty to and was convicted of divers counts of Oh My Lord Fucking Cock Almighty having the audacity to fuck and be fucked by persons of his own choice whose gender was none of your fucking business, and on that date sentence was postponed for a period of twelve months but the said Alan Matheson Turing was placed on Probation for a period of twelve months to submit for the fucking unspeakable abuse of chemical castration by a duly qualified medical practitioner at Manchester Royal Infirmary;

AND WHEREAS the said Alan Mathison Turing killed himself on the 7th day of June 1954 rather than suffer any longer the sheer fucking ignominy of this maltreatment;

NOW KNOW YE that We, in consideration of circumstances humbly represented unto Us, are Graciously pleased to extend Our Grace and Mercy unto you nation of heteronormative cuntfuckery, your sovereign and her government, and to grant you Our Free Pardon in respect of your responsibility for the said death;

AND to pardon and remit unto you the enmity imposed upon you for the aforesaid;

AND for so doing this shall be a sufficient warrant.

GIVEN at our Court of New Sodom

the 24th day of December 2013;

In the Year of Our Reign.

By Our Magnanimity's Whim

THE.... Sodomite Hal Duncan!! (sic)

POSTSCRIPT:

NOTE that We yet hereby reserve Our Free Pardon for all other such acts of gross injustice over the years, decades and centuries past and, We are in no doubt, those yet to come;

BECAUSE We rather think that saving your hetero arses from the Nazis is not a prerequisite for you keeping your fucking nose out of what We do with our Cocks and Arses.