There isn’t much I can do about Thing #1, but I have some ideas where Thing #2 is concerned. So, here’s a list of possible regular features for Sieze the Toast:

Webcomic: I’m thinking of something in a format similar to Absurd Notions (sporadically updated humor comic with continuous plots and occasional bonus diary comics), with a scifi setting. Pro: I already have a pretty good idea of my characters and main plot and even how I want certain panels to look, which puts me ahead of about 80% of all novice webcomic artists. Con: I don’t draw so good… which puts me ahead of about 80% of all comic artists.

Serialized Novel: Horrifying though the results of my NaNoWriMo experiment proved to be, I’ve salvaged all of my principal characters and a significant portion of the plot (the setting was nonexistent) and created a mind map. When complete, said graphic organizer will form the basis of a modern cross-genre whodunit. It starts out at a funeral. It is hilarious. Pro: The inclusion of a serialized novel ties into my original purpose for this blog, and knowing that reader(s) await the next installment might be the motivation I need to finished the accursed thing. Con: If it’s any good, and I can convince a real paying publisher of this fact, then I’m selling myself way short on first publication rights.

Movie Reviews: I used to be (technically I still am; I just need to remember my password) a member of a site that specializes in exhaustive reviews of awful and obscure movies and TV shows; I even got a positive (if limited) reaction to my reviews of Kangaroo Jack and its sequel. The bad movie recap scene lost its appeal to me for a while, but lately… lately the muse has beckoned to me from the TV Guide Channel and Lifetime’s movie-of-the-week ads (they’re doing Nora Roberts adaptations throughout February, presumably in observance of Black History Month). Pro: Dissecting hastily made basic cable chick flicks is easy and fun, and women who write snarky reviews of such films are significantly underrepresented in the b-movie community. Con: It’s also time-consuming, and my mother might take my criticism of her favorite genre as a personal affront..

So, what’s it going to be? I eagerly await the response of my loyal readers (all one of them).