Principles for Relationships from God's Word by Claudio Consuegra

When someone you know is depressed – 1

For my life is spent with grief, And my years with sighing; My strength fails because of my iniquity, And my bones waste away. Psalm 31:10 (NKJV)

Depression shows no partiality. Both men and women, the young and the old, poor and rich, and even those people who seem to have everything in life can suffer from this complex disorder that makes all facets of life so hard to bear. Some mental illnesses are rare, but major depression is much too common. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, almost 7 percent of American adults (approximately 16 million people in 2013) experienced at least one major depressive episode.

It’s very possible you know someone with depression and you have probably felt at a loss not knowing what to say, if anything, to them. You probably have also felt a fear that you may say something wrong or inappropriate. Those who suffer depression say the feelings of despair and hopelessness may never be truly understood by those who have never experienced them, but there are we can help our friends and loved ones. Joan Raymond[i] suggests what you can say (or should not say) to someone who is depressed. Do say:

I’m Here For You. Of course, it is important that you don’t just say it but that you mean it. Once you say those words, you need to check in regularly with your friend or family member who is struggling. You may also want to offer to help them with tasks like finding a therapist, keeping appointments, or any support they may need.

Let’s Do Something. People who suffer from depression tend to replay negative events and agonize over how particular situations could have played out differently. The problem is that rumination can lead to worsening depression. A therapists can help people deal with this type of negative thinking. You can also help the, if they are willing, by doing an activity together that is both mentally and physically challenging. It can help potentially distract them from their ruminative thought patterns. And once they do it, they could be very surprised at how good they feel after doing something with you.