Plenty worse than inside-out underwear, messy kitchens

north county  In any marriage, it is inevitable couples will have to confront a number of challenges, and it’s no different in mine. I know I’m flawed and recognize that I have, on occasion, committed a number of transgressions that have caused my wife distress.

But there are times I question if that distress is justified, especially compared to the disgraceful deeds we read about today.

If there is anything positive that can come from the scandalous behavior San Diego’s mayor is accused of, as well as the outlandish conduct by the New York City mayoral candidate, it’s that it helps put things in perspective. Those people can serve as reverse role models.

It is their deplorable behavior that gives me hope that perhaps I can be forgiven for what is clearly a trivial offense. Like placing an egg in the microwave.

It’s still a mystery as to why such a simple deed can cause such consequences. I’ve seen eggs cooked in microwaves in restaurants, and never has there been such devastation.

“Maybe they first removed the egg from the shell,” my wife moaned as she wiped remnants from the ceiling.

It’s times like these I like to remind her of what our mayor is accused of or about the photos a certain New York City mayoral candidate has been sending young women.

It’s all about perspective, I tell my wife.

But apparently, injustice is in the eye of the injured. What appears to be a minor infraction to the perpetrator might be considered a serious crime to the victim. Like when I leave my underwear turned inside out when placing it in the wash. I explain to her that when I peel off my undergarments, they naturally become inverted that way and it’s really no big deal. But to her, it’s apparently a crime on a scale somewhere between bank robbery and manslaughter.

So I confess to her that my actions are inappropriate and wrong. “I’m humbled to admit,” I say, “that I need help.”

Notwithstanding such humility, she refuses to forgive me, even after I promise to seek therapy for my actions.

I have to say, it is quite disheartening to observe how cold and indifferent she remains about my weaknesses. So I explain to her that she shouldn’t be so hard on me because I never received any formal training in the area of underwear removal.

But nothing I say seems to appease her. And as retribution, she now refuses to turn back my underwear the right way when she does the wash and intentionally leaves them turned inside out when she places them back in my dresser.

Then she becomes upset when I wear them that way.

“How can you go out like that?” she scolds.

“What’s the problem?” I say. “No one can see it. That’s why they call it underwear.”

But as it turns out, when I peel them off now, they’re once again turned the right way, making every other time I wear them correct.