As loyal readers know Nanny and her minions absolutely love adding new laws to our county's already overburdened statute book, based on the false notion that more laws improve the quality of life and reduce criminal behaviour.

One such avenue regularly pursued by Nanny is that of our dear old "friend" the ASBO.

Step forward Nanny's Anti-Social Behaviour, Crime and Policing Bill,
which will give local authorities the
right to outlaw certain activities from designated areas.

Public Space Protection Orders (PSPOs) will create new crimes in
certain localities, and could be used to prosecute activities such as spitting
and begging.

Now all of this is all very well and dandy if it were really going to improve the quality of life etc within a designated area. However, there are a number of problems with such a zealous approach to adding to our statute book:

1 Such powers will, I guarantee, be abused by over zealous officials from our "respected" local authorities to clamp down on whatever irks them at the time.

2 Such powers will be used by local authorities as another means to milk their hapless local electorate via fines (ie it will be another "ker farking ching" tool).

3 Do we not already have numerous laws that deal with begging, street drinking, abusive behaviour and other general annoyances?

4 The rules that already exist are not enforced by the police, why should we expect any further rules to be enforced (other than as a means of milking the local population dry)?

In short the rules will not improve the quality of our lives, but will be abused by petty minded officials with axes to grind and budgets to fund.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

I was saddened to read yet another example of Nanny "scrupulously" applying rules and regulations, without any application of commonsense or sensitivity.

In this particular cases Nanny's chums from Morrisons in Portsmouth decided to enforce its policy of what can and can't be worn at work the letter. Adam Austin who works there had decided to wear a Help for Heroes wrist band and small metal poppy in remembrance for murdered soldier Lee Rigby.

Unfortunately Mr Austin, aside from working at the checkout, also works in the fresh food area. This means that, according to the rules, he and other members of staff who work in the fresh food area cannot wear things such as poppies lest they fall off an contaminate the food.

Seemingly, if the Mail is to be believed, instead of having a quiet discussion with Mr Austin in private to come to some form amicable solution over this mark of respect, the local management asked him to take off the band etc in front of customers. Following a disagreement it seems he was escorted from the premises, and now faces a disciplinary hearing on Friday.

Following a right old hoo hah on Facebook and Twitter over this incident, Morrisons said that the company had reviewed its guidelines and had decided to allow staff in non-food preparation areas to wear a registered charity wristband.

"We understand it is important for many people to show support for our Armed Forces."

I can perfectly well understand why there are rules wrt dress and what can/cannot be worn in fresh food areas. However, as with any rule, it's not just the rule itself that is important but how that rule is enforced and whether there are extenuating circumstances that should be considered when the rule is breached.

The sad fact of living in the Nanny state is that people and organisations automatically reach for the rule book without ever applying any commonsense or sympathy/compassion first.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

As it pelts down with rain here on the Sarf coast I am gemused to see that Lord Stern (author of the Stern Report about the cost of climate change) has admitted that for the last decade global warming has remained
stable.

“In the next five to ten years it is likely we will see the acceleration
because these things go in cycles.”

He went on to warn:

“It is a dangerous extrapolation of the short term phenomenon into a long term
trend when the underlying responses for long term trends in terms of rising
greenhouse gases are well understood and clear.”

Friday, May 24, 2013

My thanks to several loyal readers who pointed me in the direction of a really absurd piece of Nanny nonsense, concerning cheese.

Britain has many traditions/events, some of which go back centuries. Sadly, in the age of Nanny, many of these are now frowned upon (lest they encourage individuality and freedom of expression).

One such event that Nanny does not like is the annual cheese rolling event on Cooper's Hill Gloucester, which involves people chasing a 7lb wheel of Double Gloucester down the hill this bank holiday weekend.

For the last 25 years the cheese has been made by Diana Smart at Churcham Farm.

So far so good!

Step forward Nanny's chums from Gloucestershire Police, who have warned Mrs Smart that she may be regarded as "responsible" as "organiser" if anyone were to be injured during the cheese rolling.

"Advice has been
given to all those who have participated in any planning of an
unofficial cheese rolling event this coming bank holiday.

This included the individuals who provide the cheese. We feel it is important that those who, by law, could be
constituted as organisers of the event that they are aware of the
responsibilities that come with it so that they can make an informed
decision about their participation."

Glad to see that in the midst of all the other national crime headlines, that the Gloucestershire Police have their priorities "right"!

"It is understood that the British decision to abstain during the EU vote,
effectively opening the door to the ban, was taken by a head of department
level official in the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs,
raising questions over whether ministerial consent was given."

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

I was very disappointed to read about The Ensign Ewart, a pub that I often frequented as a student in Edinburgh (and sometimes do on my all too infrequent return visits to the City), banning the crew of HMS Edinburgh from drinking there because they were in full dress uniform.

Ironically the pub is located almost at the foot of Edinburgh Castle (on the Royal Mile) and is named after Charles Ewart who single-handedly captured the standard of the French Invincibles at the Battle of Waterloo.

The background to this ban lies in the fact that 250 officers and crew of HMS Edinburgh were celebrating being awarded the Freedom of the City by marching
up the Royal Mile in front of cheering crowds. They were in the Capital to mark the decommissioning
of the 30-year-old ship.

Those crew who went into the pub (not 250 of them!) to have a drink had been granted permission by the Navy to do so in their dress uniforms. However, the pub decided that they would not serve them.

Lord Provost, Donald
Wilson, who had earlier reassured crew members that they would be warmly
received at hostelries in Edinburgh is quoted by The Scotsman:

“It is disappointing that having just received the Freedom of the City,
which is the reason they were in dress uniform, that they would be
refused service simply because they were wearing uniform.”

A spokeswoman for the Ensign Ewart
claimed staff had been following licensing regulations, which she said
made it illegal to serve people in full dress uniform.

“We work within the confines of licensing laws.”

That actually is bollocks, as council
officials told The Scotsman that there were no licensing laws banning people in military
uniform from being served alcohol, and although in the past such a ban
had applied to policemen, that law was no longer in force.

As ever with Nanny, it is a case of make up the rules to suit your mood!

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

As we enjoy the veritable British "Spring heatwave" (12 degrees here on the Sarf coast!), and await "flaming" June, loyal readers will recall that a couple of weeks ago I wrote that Nanny may be changing her mind about the damage that claimed the sun does to us:

"..some wise owls from my old university, Edinburgh, who have conducted
some research that suggests that sunlight helps reduce blood
pressure, cutting heart attack and stroke risks and even prolonging
life."

Well, it seems it's not just the wise owls from Edinburgh who have shown that sunshine is in fact good for us; there are also wise owls at King's College London, who have identified that the vitamin D created by exposure to sunlight may help those with asthma.

Monday, May 20, 2013

What better way to lift our spirits than to award a Prats of The Week Award?

This week it goes to the ever "popular" and "respected" EC.

In their infinite "wisdom" the Gnomes of Brussels have turned their attention to that most pressing of problems, olive oil served in restaurants.

Normal people, such as ourselves, are quite capable of remonstrating with a waiter if the olive oil presented for dipping or pouring turns out to be petrol or some such derivative. However, in the minds of the Gnomes from Brussels such assertive customer action is not good enough.

The Gnomes have decreed that traditional olive oil jugs will be banned from restaurants across Europe as from 2014. Instead restaurants will be forced to use non refillable,
pre-packaged factory bottles with tamperproof lids.

No more dipping, no more artisan specially produced olive oil; instead we will be forced to imbibe factory produced muck (doubtless the factory produced olive oil will be the same "high quality" type of shite that is used in processed foods!).

The fact that the EC chooses to focus on olive oil, rather than the more pressing issues of (eg) youth unemployment in Greece being at 64% or the fact that processed meat products contain all manner of shite, says a lot about the unelected Gnomes that rule our lives.

"My big problem is that it is offensive to some
Muslims but even more so that it has been hijacked by the far right. My
thoughts are we ought to drop it for 20 years."

She suggested the Union flag was a more inclusive and suitable way of displaying national pride.

The council will also be flying the In Bloom flag at the Miners'
Memorial Garden to celebrate the town's achievements in the gardening
competition and the rainbow flag, the symbol of lesbian, gay, bisexual,
and transgender pride movement, at "appropriate" times of the year.

There are also plans for a flag to be designed specially for Radstock.

What a load of bollocks!

By that token, the Union flag could be seen as being offensive to the French, Germans, Italians, Austrians and Japanese who we have all had bust ups with over the last two hundred years ever since the Union flag came into being!

I would also note that we were invaded by the Romans 2,000 years ago. Does this mean I should boycott my local Italian because the sight of the Italian flag reminds me of the "horrors" of Roman occupation (all those aqueducts, roads and bath houses - don't get me started!).

Quite rightly Nasima Begum, a spokeswoman for the Muslim Council of Britain, said it encouraged the flying of the St George's flag.

"St George needs to take his rightful place as a
national symbol of inclusivity rather than a symbol of hatred. St George
actually lived before the birth of Islam and should not be associated
with any hatred of Muslims."

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Today is the 70th anniversary of the Dambusters' raid on the Mohne, Eder and Sorpe dams that were vital to the Nazi military industrial complex.

Seventy years ago 617 Squadron left RAF Scampton on its mission to destroy the dams.

To mark the anniversary there will be a sunset ceremony at Scampton attended by members of Guy Gibson’s (the squadron leader who led the raid) family, along with two veterans of the raid and the daughter of Barnes Wallis who invented the bouncing bombs that were used in the raid.

As well as events at Scampton, there will be various fly-pasts by the RAF’s Battle of Britain Memorial Flight and Friday’s international service at Lincoln Cathedral. Today the last operational Lancaster will fly down the Derwent Valley and strafe the Derwent Dam (which was used by the squadron as a practice target in their training for the raid).

Unfortunately many people who would like to watch this will be unable to.

For why?

Health and safety!

Severn Trent Water, which owns the dam, and other public sector ‘stakeholders’ have decreed that heavy traffic on country lanes would pose an unacceptable threat to the emergency services. So there can be no official event at the Derwent Dam.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

My thanks to a loyal reader who recently pointed me in the direction of a daft piece of Nanny nonsense concerning horses, Hi-Vis jackets worn by the horse rider and the words "POLITE" of "PLEASE" emblazoned across the Hi-Vis apparel.

Concerned about the number of accidents on the roads involving horses and cars etc, the British Horse Society has encouraged people to wear Hi-Vis jackets with the words "POLITE" or "PLEASE" to encourage drivers to give them some consideration etc.

Unfortunately some of the designs worn also includes a reflective blue and silver border.

Step forward the Association of Chief Police Officers, which has written to the British Horse Society warning them that the design too closely resembles the design of clothing worn by mounted policemen.

Assistant chief constable Ron Hanson, the association’s head of mounted policing, is quoted by the Mail:

"Anyone possessing these products is at risk of breaking the law, namely section 90 of the Police Act 1996.

Over recent months a number of examples of high visibility equine apparel have been brought to my attention.

These articles have caused concern to the police on the grounds individuals wearing them are likely to be mistaken for a police officer."

I can see his point. However, unless the non police riders deliberately attempt to pass themselves off as police officers, is this not a case of an over reaction?

On the other hand, the wording and chequered borders seem somewhat unnecessary; how hard is it not to see a horse and rider in Hi-Vis?

I suspect that where accidents occur, this is either down to lousy driving or lousy horsemanship. The addition of the words "PLEASE" or "POLITE" will not make the slightest difference to such lousy driving/horsemanship.

There is of course a greater irony here, the original design was approved of by Met police commander Bob Broadhurst, the ACPO spokesman on mounted policing (my thanks to a loyal reader for pointing this out).

He is quoted by the Evening Standard as saying that the law would not be breached “provided there is no
deliberate attempt to impersonate police” and added that even if the
public were mistaken, the sight of people in high-visibility clothing
would offer “reassurance”.

Monday, May 13, 2013

As loyal readers know, Nanny hates fags and wants us all to stop smoking.

Oddly though, she is perfectly happy to make a nice little earner out of taxing fags.

Anyhoo, Nanny's latest anti fag campaign is being spearheaded by our old chums from Nice (the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence). Nice want all expectant mothers to take breath tests, not for booze (yet) but for fags.

Errmmm..unless I have missed something, smoking has not yet been declared to be illegal in this country has it?

In the event that an expectant mother agrees or (more accurately) is bullied into taking the test, and she has been found to be smoking, what will Nanny do next?

Answer: bully the woman into quiting!

Given that the tests doubtless cost money, and that the offered "cure" for smoking also costs money, a cynic might wonder if Nanny and her minions had any financial interests in the companies that offer the test kits and/or "cures" for smoking.

Friday, May 10, 2013

I wonder sometimes whether the "powers that be" in this country have had some form of collective mental breakdown. That at least is the only conclusion that I can draw from the story that has appeared all over the media about Lily-May Allen's encounter with Ramsgate Police.

Lily-May is 10, and drew a chalk hopscotch grid on the pavement outside her house.

This is a perfectly normal activity for a child, and one which is indulged in throughout the country.

Unfortunately, for reasons that are completely unclear, some officers from Kent police allegedly informed her that it was criminal damage.

Thursday, May 09, 2013

Here in the Green "paradise" of Brightonia the binmen have gone on strike.

Call me old fashioned, but the one service that councils provide that absolutely everyone (resident and visitor) sees the results of, or comes into contact with, is that of refuse collection and street cleaning; ie it is the one service that the council really ought not to fark up!

Ironically councils throughout the land manage to fark it up on a regular basis!

"None of our refuse, recycling or street cleansing crews are working
today as a result of unofficial industrial action by our workforce in
relation to pay negotiations. Today is the second day that the service
is not operating.

If you were due a refuse or recycling collection yesterday, Wednesday 8 May or today, Thursday 9 May, it will not take place.

Around 40,000 households will be affected by this disruption.

The communal refuse and recycling vehicles are also not operating. We are aware that this is resulting in bins overflowing.

Given the scale of the disruption we will not be able to collect
missed refuse and recycling until your next scheduled collection day.

Currently we expect collections to take place as follows:

Date

Refuse / Recycling collections

Wednesday 8 May

No collections. We were due to collect refuse and
recycling normally collected on a Tuesday in line with our post Bank
Holiday collection schedule. The next scheduled collection is Tuesday 14 May

Thursday 9 May

No collections. We were due to collect refuse and recycling normally
collected on a Tuesday in line with our post Bank Holiday collection
schedule. The next scheduled collections is Wednesday 15 May

Friday 10 May

We are expecting recycling and refuse collection crews to be working tomorrow.

This may be subject to change and we will update this page regularly with the latest available information.

If your collection has been missed we advise you to take your rubbish
and recycling to one of our household waste sites on Wilsons Avenue in
Brighton or Old Shoreham Road in Hove or to wait until your next
scheduled collection.

We are working hard to hire in extra vehicles and agency staff for
next week to be able to deal with the extra volume of waste and
recycling as a result of the missed collections.

Due to the disruption we are not taking any reports of missed
collections and we will not be able to give you any additional
information over the phone.

We apologise for any inconvenience caused.

Service disruption FAQ

Why can't you hire in extra staff and vehicles to catch up on missed collections?We employ over 100 staff on refuse and recycling
who are out every day making refuse and recycling collections from
20,000 households. They use a fleet of more than 30 specialist HGV vehicles. Our staff know their rounds and are trained to drive and
operate our refuse and recycling vehicles. Because of this specialist
knowledge and equipment we can not simply hire in 100 agency staff and 30 refuse and recycling vehicles to catch up the missed work.

What we are doing is trying to recruit agency staff and
additional vehicles to make sure we collect as much of the extra waste
and recycling on the next scheduled collection day. "
Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Wednesday, May 08, 2013

As loyal readers know Nanny has something of a bee in her bonnet over the dangers of exposing ourselves to the sun.

Despite the fact that in the UK the number of sunshine filled hours per annum amounts to approximately 2, and despite the fact that sunshine is an excellent source of vitamin D and acts as a most effective anti bacteriological cleansing agent Nanny has long held the view that we should not venture into the sunshine.

That view has been rigidly held until today.

Step forward some wise owls from my old university, Edinburgh, who have conducted some research that suggests that sunlight helps reduce blood
pressure, cutting heart attack and stroke risks and even prolonging
life.

Oh, and by the way, sunlight also helps with psoriasis.

Dr Richard Weller, a senior lecturer in dermatology at
Edinburgh University, is quoted by the BBC:

"We suspect that the benefits to heart
health of sunlight will outweigh the risk of skin cancer.The work we have done provides a mechanism that might
account for this, and also explains why dietary vitamin D supplements
alone will not be able to compensate for lack of sunlight. We now plan to look at the relative risks of heart disease
and skin cancer in people who have received different amounts of sun
exposure.

If this confirms that sunlight reduces the death rate from all causes, we will need to reconsider our advice on sun exposure."

Another piece of Nanny "scientific fact" consigned to the dustbin!

Next week Nanny will announce that smoking is in fact good for you, and will make it compulsory.

Tuesday, May 07, 2013

Oh dear I see that Nanny continues to believe that we are not capable of controlling our appetites and, as such, she must do it for us by rationing our food intake.

This time Nanny's gimlet eye has fallen on portion sizes of biscuits, doughnuts, cakes and milky drinks. Nanny wants food manufacturers, cafes and supermarkets to
reduce the portion size of these items.

However, even Nanny has realised that these plans may in fact be bollocks.

Can you see the problem children?

Yes, that's right, people will simply buy more of the smaller portions. The Telegraph notes that even Nanny's Department of Health realises this.

The other obvious point (obvious to everyone except Nanny) is that customers will be ripped off by retailers et al, as the prices charged will not be reduced proportionately in line with the portion size reduction.

Nonetheless Nanny's Department of Health has created evidence (or has done "scientific" research - take your pick) that "shows" that biscuits alone contribute 6% of daily saturated fat intake of a child aged between four and
10.

Yawn.

Why doesn't Nanny simply issue us with some war time ration books, and be done with the pretence that she believes in individual choice and freedom?

Anyhoo, restrictions on the size of biscuits will meet fierce resistance from the knob throwers of Cattistock.

My advice to all and sundry is "hang on to your knobs, lest Nanny takes them away!"

Saturday, May 04, 2013

For absolute clarity, I have managed to open such products before. However, there was clearly a fault with the child safety cap this time (my good lady also was unable to open it).

Therefore, having fortified myself in the pub last night with a modest selection of Red Stripe, vodka, wine and whisky I returned home to tackle the issue once and for all.

Using a pair of scissors I was able to pry off the outer cap to reveal the "child safety" secondary seal. Yet despite all reasonable attempts to loosen it, the secondary seal remained firmly welded to the bottle.

Therefore I was left with no choice but to stab at it with the scissors until a hole was created.

This method of opening the bottle that contains a rather corrosive substance seems a tad "unsafe". Anyhoo, the problem is now resolved!

Friday, May 03, 2013

My thanks to several loyal readers who alerted me to the disgraceful story of Dersingham Parish Council reporting Kurtis Green to the police.

For why?

Mr Green has, for the last 12 years, tended the war memorial in his village, cleaning up rubbish and planting bulbs at its base.

In fact, according to the Mail, in January, the Queen congratulated the 19-year-old for his hard work revamping the memorial, near her Sandringham Estate in Norfolk.

However, Nanny's chums from the council were unimpressed and have reported him to the police for criminal damage and theft, after he installed some water pipes to feed the plants at the base of the memorial.

Thursday, May 02, 2013

My thanks to a loyal reader who recently poiunted me to a gemusing story in the Shropshire Star about a verbal two fingers stuck up to Shropshire council by the owners of a former independent music shop, which was forced to close because of high parking charges.

In a message placed in the shop window the other month, the owners said:

"Due to increasing costs, high rates,
and the morons who make Shrewsbury’s parking policies and the wardens
that enforce them making our customers lives a misery, we have decided
to withdraw our business from the high street."

The majority of the message was removed on closure of the shop, except for three words:

Wednesday, May 01, 2013

Nanny has yet again abused the powers granted to her via the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act 2000 (RIPA).

In theory RIPA was brought in by Nanny on the pretext of catching terrorists.

In practice, as loyal readers know, it has been used by Nanny's orifices of state (eg councils et al) to spy on local citizens as a means of collecting debts and bringing "unruly" voters under control.

By happenstance, on the 29th of April, The Guardian provided a rather detailed and interesting update as to what HMRC have been doing to Mr Mba.

It transpires that HMRC used their powers, normally reserved for
catching serious criminals to search the belongings, emails, internet records and phone calls of Mr
Mba and his wife.

For why?

HMRC wanted to prove that Mr Mba had spoken to the Guardian's former investigations editor David Leigh.

Seemingly HMRC could find no proof of any contact.

Cathy
James, the head of the whistleblowers' charity, Public Concern at Work, regards this as "sinister" and is quoted:

"The actions of the HMRC in this case are very much a
step in the wrong direction, more likely to result in a culture of
silence with more anonymous leaking than anything else. It is a case of
shoot – and silence – the messengers."

David Leigh,
who retired from the Guardian last month, said:

"The revenue's decision
to use these powers to try and find a link with a journalist when the
disclosure was so obviously in the public interest was heavy-handed and
foolish, and shows the level of paranoia over their tax deals."

Mr Mba's employment tribunal claim continues and is expected to
be heard in the autumn.

As I have noted before, the more powers that are granted to organisations such as HMRC the more they will abuse and misuse them!

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"In Germany they came first for the Communists,and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist.Then they came for the Jews,and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew.Then they came for the trade unionists,and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist.The they came for the Catholics,and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant.Then they came for me,and by that time no one was left to speak up."

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