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I was a single working mother for 6 years. I did it all. I commuted, worked 40+ hours, was a single mom, and for a portion of that time attended school. I resented the hell out of stay at home mom’s during this time. I can admit it. I was so jealous of anyone who could bypass the time constraints put on working folk. Maybe more jealous than resentful but maybe a mix of both. I felt so helpless and worn out most of the time I just assumed that a married mom staying at home has it easier.

That is true.

It is easier. But it isn’t easy. That part I wasn’t prepared for. It is funny how the grass is greener effect takes hold when you feel that anything but what you are doing must be easier.

But I have come to realize, I bust my ass. It may not be in the way that some see as difficult, but to me it is challenging.

This was my schedule yesterday.

5:20am – Wake up and make breakfast for my husband and make sure he has what he needs for a grueling 12 hour day in a factory. Feed and water both cats so they stop screaming the song of their people at me.6:00am – Wake up my 9 year old and get him breakfast, make sure his backpack is good, etc.6:45am – Walk him to the bus stop. Get completely eaten by mosquitoes.7:00am – Wake up my 12 year old. Repeat above process but with added bonus eye rolls.7:30am – Make grocery list, coupon, coupon, coupon COUPON7:40am – Start laundry7:50am – Clean kitchen start dishwasher8:00am – Leave to go grocery shopping. (Which is glorious to do alone btw)9:45am – Come home and put up trunk full of groceries. Drop at least one bunch of bananas, crush the bread, and dent 2.5 cans.10:00am – Clean out refrigerator. Try not to hurl.10:30am – Start another load of laundry. WHERE DOES IT ALL COME FROM?!?!?11:00am – Put up first load of laundry.11:05am – Make note to threaten all video games if the boys don’t stop using 45 towels a week.11:15am – Make the bed, pick up clothes, straighten bathroom. Spend 15 minutes looking for toothpaste cap. Which I found in the medicine cabinet on top of the Visine???11:30am – Have I eaten yet?!?!? Fiber One bar and slice of imitation cheese to the rescue. Awesome has a diet. This is it.12:00pm – Put up 2nd load of laundry12:15pm – Start 3rd load of laundry. Remind self to threaten boys with ALL.THE.THINGS about towel use. What are they doing with them all????1:00pm – Put up dishes and clean the kitchen.1:20pm – Dusted entire house. Which means push cat hair from one area to another. I call it “reorganizing”1:30pm – Made the bed.1:45pm – Played with my cat.2:00pm – Yogurt break while making sweet tea.2:45pm – 9 year old walks in time for an hour of homework help, checking, organizing, signing papers, reviewing 12 leaflets brought home. Hear a 25 minute diatribe about how the kid in front of him in lunch had something I didn’t get at the grocery store but would be great if I kept it in mind for my next trip (which is inevitably in 2 days)3:00pm – Start dinner.4:00pm – 12 year old walks in from school, repeat 60 minutes of homework, organizing, checking, following up. Try not to curse the creator of Common Core to hellfire and damnation.4:20pm – Desperately try and cool dinner to put in the fridge to eat after football practice.5:00pm – Leave for 9 year old football practice. Spend 3 hours sweating and being invaded by bugs trying not to yell when he feigns injury to take a water break (22 times).8:00pm – Break out dinner and try to arrange it so it doesn’t taste like reheated crap.8:15pm – “Can I have seconds?” “Can I have more biscuits?” “Are we out of honey??” “Can I have dessert??”8:17pm – Pull back my hair as not to pull it out and traumatize impressionable children.8:30pm – Put 9 year old to bed after reading and prayers.8:32pm – Ask12 year old to clean the kitchen before I set it on fire just to not look at another dirty dish.8:37pm – TELL 12 year old to get on cleaning the kitchen8:45pm – BEG 12 year old to just FINISH already. (Try not to think that had I done it myself it would be done.)8:46pm – Hear from my 12 year old how EVERYONE has a girlfriend in school and he has decided it is TIME for him to get one too. Spend 25 minutes explaining that it will come in good time. And he doesn’t want to push something that isn’t going to happen on its own. (And not be the kid who makes up a girlfriend like his friend down the road. No one wants to be “That guy.”)9:00pm – Start meal preparation for husbands meals he takes to work. (Separate as he is on a no carb thing)9:15pm – Get 12 year old to bed, remind him for the 8,544th time that there are no video games during the week and please stop asking.9:30pm – WINE9:40pm – Catch up with my Husband.9:41pm – Try not to bitch about my day because he works 12 hours a day doing manual labor in a factory. My argument is invalid.
—-That being said, he listens when I can’t help it and tells me it sounded like a crap day and he totally understands. He is the junk. If I haven’t mentioned it already.10:45pm – Shower11:0zzzZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Not every day is like this. But on average 4 out of 7 are like this. The other days are more like this…

And while this will sound strange, I never ever get a day off. Never. Literally not one 24 hour period where I wasn’t tending to someone since my hip surgery in April. That being said, I think it is a good trade. Trying to work and do all of this I might get a day here and there, but it is totally worth it. 🙂

This journey of staying at home has been very enlightening for me. I take what I do seriously. Whether it is a multi million dollar account at work, college, or just taking care of my family. I work and I work hard.

And come to find out, hard work is hard work. No matter where you are doing it.

A recap. I have worked my entire life. Literally. Family business = no child labor laws. I was working a cash register on a step stool at 9. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t factory work, but I have just always worked.

Now I don’t.

And it is weird.

Seriously, I just put on my bra. 10:35am.

I want to do all the things with the kids. But I have found this is unrealistic. I had 1,224,736 things planned for this summer.

We have done two.

But that being said, we have been quite busy.

I just helped throw a baby shower and I actually made this.

I couldn’t find the letters at the craft store, so I printed out the template, cut it out, and then cut out the letters.

I told her next time she has a kid, It will be named, “Joe.”

I also made 10lbs of those meatballs in grape jelly and bbq sauce, SO GOOD. I even did fondue.

This week, I really hope to be able to start the summer. Not this running around thing that we seem to do every day. As in preparing to run, running, laying down after running.

Since I never know what day of the week it is anymore, I am going to hope that the Summer I envisioned starts around July 4th.

I may need to set my phone to remind me. And to remind me to put on my bra.