Culture Clinic: Gavin Turk

Young artist Gavin Turk submits to a little light therapy.

Weird world: artist Gavin Turk with his startling image of a monkey smoking a cigarettePhoto: EPA

By Kate Weinberg

7:00AM BST 05 May 2009

PATIENT NOTES

Name Gavin Turk

Age 42

Job Artist

Last book readWaste and Want: A Social History of Trash by Susan Strasser

Last film seen The Science of Sleep by Michel Gondry

Last music heard Le Fil by Camille

Last dose of live culture Candlelit Matinée (The House of Fairy Tales) at the Shunt Vaults

Patient examination

What, in human history, do you wish had never been invented?

The petrochemical engine (as much as I like driving). This invention has not only shaped the landscape all over the planet, but is now threatening the sky above.

If you could have been born in a different century, which would it be?

The 17th century. All those powdered wigs, wonderful buttons, breeches, wild pointy patent-leather shoes, stick-on moles, corsets – but I guess there was also lots of bad teeth and scary dentistry.

What would be your fantasy other job?

Clairvoyant.

If you had to represent your country in international competition, what would it be for?

The very notion of competition fills me with dread but my best skills are patience and observation so, if train spotting was an international competition, I might be handy.

What cliché most applies to you or your life?

Cliché itself. As an artist I frequently work with, and am sometimes subsumed in or by, notions of cliché.

If you could be stranded in one place in the world, where would that be?

The British Library. Well, there certainly would be something to do and I could also learn sign language.

Name something you truly believe in.

I believe in investigating truth. It seems to me that whenever a belief in something occurs, a leap of faith must also take place; I am fascinated by the gap that must be created to arrive at this altered state.

What has been your greatest discovery online?

The fact that when you don't know the answer to something you can just type in some misspelt words, and go back to your conversation refreshed with the missing bits.

Which public figure do you think is most overrated?

At the moment everywhere I look I see Lady Gaga. She must be overrated by now.

What is your definition of love?

Spiritual satisfaction.

How would you best like to be remembered?

All I can think of are epitaphs like Spike Milligan's "See, I told you I was ill" and Marcel Duchamp's "Anyway, it's always other people that die".

Our diagnosis

You're a serious and original thinker, who likes to dig deep. But judging by your recent intake of cutting-edge culture and the fact that you believe artists who are "everywhere" must be overhyped, I challenge your claim to Olympic levels of patience. The following warn against the fickle nature of fashion.

Our prescription

Recommended film – Dangerous Liaisons(1988)

It's a few decades past your favourite era, but there's no dearth of stick-on moles and powdered wigs in this classic. Glenn Close and John Malkovich play a scheming widow and her creepy ex-lover who make a bet on corrupting a virtuous woman (Michelle Pfeiffer). The last scene, in which Glenn Close is hissed at by the society she once dominated, is a powerful example of how quickly the tide turns.

Book – Nobody's Perfect by Anthony Lane

The journalistic Oscar Wilde of today, Anthony Lane, long-time film critic of The New Yorker, has crammed his articles on movies, books and people into a definitive collection. Quite apart from Lane's witty and insightful observations, this is a brilliant meditation on your favourite subject, "popular culture", and how quick and shallow its dynamics can be.

Music – Home Before Dark, Neil Diamond (Sony, 2008)

For decades Neil Diamond's crooning voice and diamanté suits were a guilty pleasure. Then in 2005 he was taken in hand by cool music producer Rick Rubin, instantly boosting his credibility. When Home Before Dark was listed at No 1 in the Billboard Hot 200 it proved that Diamond had become the latest thing. Which just goes to show that the best way to deal with fashion is to let it follow you.

Gavin Turk is representing Britain at AngloMockBa festival (today and tomorrow), produced by Liberatum and Red Square PR in association with Swissotel Krasnye Holmy and bmi www.liberatum.org.ukwww.redsquarepr.com