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Monday, April 8, 2013

desperate times

Old time readers here might remember my days in the trenches as an elementary school volunteer. The field days, the parties, the Thanksgiving buffets... I was a familiar face at that school for SEVEN years, especially in springtime, because springtime is DUNDUNDUUUN - RUN WITH LUMBER TIME!

Run With Lumber is a major spring fundraiser. It's a full day where every grade comes out and runs laps around the school field during their PE time. They get sponsors and collect money for every lap they complete. I was a Run With Lumber volunteer for SEVEN years, the last THREE years, I chaired the fricken thing.

Omigosh, the work and organization, the gajillion forms, the meticulous bookkeeping, the gallons of root beer and ice cream, the scheduling volunteers, the prizes, the t-shirts, the fretting over the weather forecast... I don't miss it. Not one bit!

But really, all of that was doable. The biggest pressure? Finding someone to be Lumber.

Lumber* is the school's mascot. He shows up at pride assemblies, but other than that, he's pretty stealth. The only other time he shows up is for Run With Lumber. It's part of what makes it so special. Lumber is KEY.

The kids look forward to Run With Lumber all year. We'd put up decorations about a month before the event, so by the time the day arrived, they'd be in a frenzy.

Some showed up, game faces on, wanting to break the school record or at least get top runner for their grade. Others just wanted to see Lumber, get a high five or a hug.

It's Run With Lumber, not Run-Around-During-PE-Time-With-Your-Teacher-And-Maybe-Mom-and/or-Dad-Shows-Up-Too.

But yeah, who is willing to be Lumber? It's running around outside all day while basically wearing a carpet and breathing your own air. Those last three years I was chair, I ended up breaking down and getting Chaco and Wolfgang to tag team it, bribing them with both a day off school and cash money.

So this morning out at the crosswalk, my neighbor, who just so happens to be the mom I handed all the Run With Lumber crap over to, tells me she's getting desperate. RWL is next week and she has yet to have the crucial Lumber! Will my kids do it? Do I know anyone else?!

Gosh, I tell her. I can't think of anyone. But someone will step forward, right? Somehow, it happens every year, right?

And, heh, I briefly got the impression that she'd like ME to do it. Hahahaha... No... hehe, I can't be Lumber. I've got... stuff... going on that day. Plus, I'm only 5'5", Lumber needs to be more of a presence. Hah, right. Me.

Not the puppy dog eyes! Those are the worst to resist. But you gotta say no! You've done your part. The kids have done their part! Don't allow the guilty feelings to trick you into wearing the carpet and breathing your own air. Stay strong!

"But yeah, who is willing to be Lumber? It's running around outside all day while basically wearing a carpet and breathing your own air. Those last three years I was chair, I ended up breaking down and getting Chaco and Wolfgang to tag team it, bribing them with both a day off school and cash money."

AhahhAHhahaH! Bribery sounds like the best way to go. And I'm glad you don't have to find someone willing to play the role of Lumber this year!