Canada24's club.. Articles

Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.

Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom Foolery: *Standing in front of a house*
Master Sword: Today is the first day of Summer, and-
Tom: Hold it!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Today is not the first day of Summer. That will happen this Sunday.
Master Sword: Oh. Right.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Today's crossover parody, Mean Equestria Girls.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Twilight gets called a slut, even though Rarity is the slut.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*

Mean Equestria Girls

Starring everyone as theirselves.

Twilight: *Enters the human world with Spike*
Spike: What happened to us?
Twilight: *Talks in her normal voice* I don't know.... wait a second. I NO LONGER HAVE THE VOICE OF A BLACK MAN!!!
Audience: *Booing*

This isn't stealing Wind's idea, I had this planned a while, his just convinced me to make it..

WORST:

#10: GUITAR MASTER:
So as you may (but probably not) know, I play electric guitar on my spare time. So I got a game at my brithday several years ago.. You plug in your guitar. And it's Guitar Hero, but real.. Only.. It fucking sucks! It kept breaking my strings cause you have to tune it, EVERY, FUCKING, SONG!!

God, I sold the game, I couldn't look at it.. Fuck that game!!

#9: BLACK OPS 3:
This is more of a personal complaint over a review.. But you can't play one player, only online.. I never play online.. Only once.. For Call of Duty 4.. I joined in a round at the ship level. Had my own costumized AK47.. Which I wasn't too bad with truth told.. I feel like this might be a new thing for CoD.. Sad, I liked those games. Can always count on a cliche but entertaining short story, and cheesy moments of brutal kills..

Things were not going well for Equestria after the events of the previous H.I.P story. A week after the war ended somepony assassinated the mayor of Ponyville. Then stallions started being sexist to mares. Even Doughnut Joe wouldn't let mares in his restaurant, but if they were to buy something Joe would just double the price for what they bought.

Two and a half years later things just got worse, a griffon appeared. It was someone named Gilda, and she seemed pissed, "I've had enough of these ponies. It's time to do something about them." Then she flew off. While doing so Rainbow Dash appeared, "Gilda, what are you doing?" Instead of answering Dash's question Gilda told her to fuck off, and gave her the bird. Right after that I appeared in my car. I wasn't the only one in Equestria to have a car anymore. Lots of companies started making cars for ponies to drive, some were Chevronet, Coltillac, Lunicorn, Dodge, Alfa Romaneo, Aston Maretin, Foallari, and Fillys. Every street in Equestria was paved, and full of cars. "Seems like Ponyville has improved." I said. "Yeah," Dash replied, "but what kind of pony would drive?"...

Hawkeye: *Writing* Dear Father, I know it's been nearly two weeks since I sent you my last letter, but I want to wish you a happy new year. Did you enjoy christmas? I sure did. In case you want to hear about it.....

December 24, 1952

....Here's how it went. Metal Gloss, and I were talking to each other when Pete came for a meeting.

Hawkeye: Goodnight Metal Gloss.
Metal Gloss: Goodnight Hawkeye.
Hawkeye: *Sits at table* Ah. *grabs pencil, and paper* Dear Father. How are you? It's been a while since I got your last message, and I decided to write back to you. We just got a new worker named Metal Gloss. She's an engineer just like me, and she kind of reminds me of my first christmas on the Union Pacific...

This one is all me.. I thought of more.. Could only think of 4.. But there good ones..

#1: ZORIN BLITZ - HELLSING:

So Zorin is the first villlain I personally HATE.. That's right, even more than Major.. It's hard for me to deeply hate villains. But there's something about this bitch that rubs me the wrong way. I was so excited to see her in action, and she's basically cheating. Fucking with your mind.. So yeah. She's number one for more "personal" reasons.. But even than, someone who makes Seras revist a memory like THAT, clearly dserved that fucked up death she got.. Honestly, even I found that a bit disturbing. And I already went on about my feelings to Zorin..

#2: MICAH BELL - RED DEAD REDEMPTION:

Personally, I am the only one to kinda like Micah.. Red Dead 2 literary WANTS you to hate him. But he's just so entertaining.. But lets talk about him. Obvious, spoilers ahead..

Pearl Harbor, Hawaii
December 7, 1941, seconds before the Japanese attack

Pierce Hawkins, a reverend at one of the churches was walking on the sidewalk by the harbor.

Pierce: *Sees airplanes in the sky* Hm, silver airplanes. They must be Japanese.
Japanese Pilots: *Dropping bombs on ships in the harbor*
Pierce: *Runs away from the harbor*

He was only 700 feet away from his house.

Japanese Pilot: *Flying towards Pierce, and shoots at him*
Pierce: *Falls on the ground*
Japanese Pilot: *Drops a bomb on Pierce's house*
Pierce: *Looks at his house* NO!!! *Runs to it, and looks inside* NO, NO, NO!!!!

Before I start this story, let me go over some stuff that happened in the previous stories.

November 23, 2012

I arrived at Ponyville, and met the six main characters of MLP FIM. The next day was the beginning of the Equestria War. A month later Canterlot got bombed, and the Pony Alliance was formed to fight against Robotnik's army.

December 24, 2012

Before his death Dr. Robotnik got Discord, and Blaze the cat to take over his army. Discord would take Ponyville, and Manehattan while Blaze would take Fillydelphia, Stalliongrad, and San Franciscolt.

December 30, 2014

The Pony Alliance finishes off Discord's side of his army named Disci. He went to Stalliongrad to blow the town up. Stalliongrad was the last line of defense for Disci, and they would be destroyed if they didn't defend it. Just when Stalliongrad was about to be destroyed, I used chaos control to get the bomb somewhere else. After ending up in New York City, I had to fight Blaze, and Discord on top of the Brooklyn Bridge. They were both killed, but me, and Rainbow Dash nearly died.

Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.

Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom Foolery: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: We have some good news!
Master Sword: Me, and Tom have just gotten back from starring in a movie.
Audience: Cool.
Tom: Damn right it's cool. We starred as two bad guys in a film called CHiPs. The main villain was Gordon Suite-
Master Sword: And we also got to meet Larry Wilcox, and Erik Estrada. It was awesome!
Tom: Hey Master Sword, next time you interrupt me, let me know first.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Today's crossover parody-
Tom: Did you hear what I said?
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: No.
Tom: I told you not to interrupt me without a warning. Also, don't try to steal my job. Today's crossover parody, Little Red Robin Hood.
Audience: HA! *Laughing*
Master Sword: Little Red Riding Hood gets a bow & arrow, and robs everyone she sees.

Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.

Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom Foolery: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: How is everypony doing today?
Audience: Good.
Master Sword: That word is used too often. Not only does it describe the way you're feeling, but it also describes... Ah, forget it.
Tom: Save the screw ups for the bloopers, okay?
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: We have a special guest on our show today, and his name is Nocturnal Mirage.
Audience: *Cheering*
Mirage: *Arrives*
Master Sword: Hey, good to see you again.
Mirage: Thanks mate. May I?
Tom: Go ahead.
Mirage: Today's crossover parody, Jack Reacher And The Beanstalk.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Tom Cruise climbs up a beanstalk, and kills people.
Audience: *Laughing*

It was 6:00 PM. The ponies would be heading home in an hour after a long day of work.

Hawkeye: Ugh. It's freezing.
Coffee Creme: How can anypony stand to be out here?
Hawkeye: I've got no idea. We better wait in the station.
Coffee Creme: Or at least drive a train.
Hawkeye: We only have an hour left of work Coff.
Coffee Creme: Coff?

Everything was going well in Cheyenne. The workers were with Pete hearing their assignments.

Pete: There are some Thanksgiving decorations at Denver that need to be picked up. Hawkeye, and Coffee Creme. I need you to pick up the train of decorations at Denver.
Hawkeye: We got it.
Pete: Percy, you must maintain our engines at the servicing facility, and make sure they're running smoothly.

Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.

Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom Foolery: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: Hello, and welcome.
Master Sword: We begin with Brony Of The Month.
Tom: And no, we didn't forget to do this, like we did in the last episode.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: For May 2015, the Brony Of The Month award goes to NocturnalMirage.
Audience: *Cheering, and clapping*
Tom: If you were to compare this guy to a car company, he would be Ford.
Master Sword: Both are very popular.
Tom: And now, for our crossover parody.
Master Sword: Today's crossover parody will be Unfriended Daredevil.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: We're combining a good show with a bad movie. Enjoy.

Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.

Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom Foolery: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: Hello, and welcome.
Master Sword: We begin with Brony Of The Month.
Tom: You see, we forgot to do this in the last episode.
Audience: *Booing*
Master Sword: Yes, I know, we feel terrible.
Tom: Wait a second. Stop booing, and we'll let you know who Brony Of The Month is assholes.
Audience: *Booing*
Master Sword: You're making it worse.
Tom: I'm making it worse? They're supposed to be cheering, or laughing.
Master Sword: We didn't say anything funny yet, so they can't be laughing.
Tom: I got an idea. *Grabs a loudspeaker, and a grenade. He talks in the loudspeaker* Now listen up!! If you don't stop booing, I'll shove a grenade up your ass, and kill you in a matter of seconds.
Audience: *Becomes quiet*

#1:
JUST CAUSE I SUCKED YOUR COCK, DON'T MEAN WE DATING! I SUCKED YOUR COCK, BUT NOT YOUR HEART!!

Me: This is why hookers don't get paid much.

#2:
My kid is NEVER gonna watch Skrek! Disagree all you want! Beautiful people don't go with ugly people! My daughter would grow up thinking she should change cause some ugly boy likes her! Why didn't Shrek change for Fiena!? Beautiful people are strong, ugly people are not! Why couldn't he change for Fiona!? Because woman have to do everything!

ME: Try watching Shrek 2 dumbass..

#3:
I don't want my baby boy to he straight, I want it gay.. If it's straight, I'll put it to adoption straight away!

ME: Don't worry sweetheart, if your his first impression of what a woman is, he'll either be gay or a serial killer..

#10: ROY EARLE:
Earle has little respect for others. This is evident from various racist and misogynistic remarks that he makes throughout the game. He is also a opportunist. He stole a roll of money worth $1,000 which was actually evidence, after claiming "the department owed him fifty," when the department only owed him $20.

Between his uncaring snarky behavior,, lack of punishment, and his betrayal of Cole.. Nobody can find anything good to say except "he's kinda funny"

#9: DIMITRI:
The main villain of GTA 4. And at the top of everybody's hate list..

#8: NAVI:
That annoying little fairy from Ocarina of Time..

#7: THOSE SNIPERS FROM DEADRISING 2:
God I hate these guys.. But that's mostly cause I'm not always sure how to fight them.. And they keep shooting at you when you run though that area, slowing you down..

#6: DR FONTAINE:
One of the most evil characters in LA Noire. Matched to Garret Mason.. Fontaine is willing to personally kill anyone who discovers his dirty secrets, even the man Fontaine had mentored and forced into dealing morphine for him.....