PLEASANT GROVE, Utah—Several members left a Utah County Sunday School class feeling slightly guilty after Sister Debra Shields, 41, did her best to manipulate members’ into joining the ward choir.

A hope-filled Facebook post from Sister Shields.

“Yeah, she promised us all sorts of blessings,” one member said, “but ‘no-bake cookies’ just weren’t enough to get me to commit. It’s not that I don’t want to go or that I’m just not interested in going, it’s … well, OK, yeah, I guess it is.”

Ward choirs of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints dot the world but are known for being low on the list of members’ priorities. Many Latter-day Saints say they’re busy enough just fulfilling their callings, keeping the commandments and pretending to look for scriptures when their Sunday School teachers ask for a volunteer to say closing prayer. They say there simply isn’t time to participate in the ward choir.

Sister Shields, Ward Choir Director and emeritus aspiring opera singer, emphasized to the class on Sunday that the choir is “desperately in need of more men,” but that “any sisters who want to join are more than welcome.”

She also explained that, as made evident by the choir’s past performances, “no previous vocal training or talent is necessary.”

Members listened patiently to the plea, and report feeling varying levels of guilt, but only enough to inspire sympathy instead of action.

This article is just satire, but it really is hard to get people to join the choir in some wards! It’s hard to find people who like/are willing to sing in front of people. That said, a well-rounded choir with the right director can equate to a very spiritually moving experience. To all you ward choirs out there—keep it up! Despite the teasing nature of this article, we do appreciate you.

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The Sunday Pews

The Church is true. The doctrines are true. The Book of Mormon is what Joseph Smith said it is. That being said, we Mormons can be pretty goofy sometimes. The Sunday Pews aims to poke fun at the human quirks specific to our subculture, not the sacred doctrines we hold so dear. All articles are satirical in nature.

3 thoughts on “Desperate Sister Does Best to Guilt Members Into Joining Ward Choir”

When I was choir director, and needed to increase our numbers, I asked the choir to recruit and convert other members to the choir, and joked that we needed choir missionaries. The very next week, a missionary transferred into our ward, who had the most amazing voice I’ve ever heard. And he joined the choir. We got our “choir missionary” 🙂

Our chior director made thegreatest.cookies, eventually we started taking turns bringing a snack. One of the problems is after a three hour block, and travel time people are hungry. Some with diabeties, hypoglycemia and so on, find the three hour block a trial in itself. Snacks work.
Viva the people who bring an apple or carrot sticks to snack on. Ya to Linger longers. When people travel up to Two hours each way, it is a long day.

I am an avid choir member and we have a great Ward choir, but I would not support it if it was not attached to the block. We meet just before or just after the block depending on which time we start. We meet for 45 minutes. I had parents who needed snacks to get thru 4 hours and we brought our own for them as their health problems did not allow sweets. I guarantee that if you have choir as a separate meeting you will get less people out. Try attaching it to the block times and recruit the youth at 12 to start coming. Every Ward can and should have a choir. Singing praises to God has always been a great form of worship and a great way to feel the spirit. Don’t limit your spirituality by not participating in choir.