10.04.2007

We try not to listen to the radio very much. It's mind numbing. One of the drawbacks of that is that we miss out on some pretty good jams. I've been back in the D recently and I've been driving around a lot listening to the radio because I wanted to catch up on things.

First let me say that I hate disc jockeys. I think they're the lowest common denominator. For example, on a local Detroit station, they have a segment called "Confessions" where the DJ asks women to call in and give up some scandalous confessions. Well, on this night, a girl called in and said that her confession was that she was at a club a while back and ended up having sex with a Girls Gone Wild camera man on the Girls Gone Wild bus. And, wait for it...she got pregnant.

I almost crashed my car when I heard that because she was laughing her ass off and the DJ was calling her a "hero."

Luckily, right after that the DJ put on the Akon song where he apologizes for dry humping the shit out of a 15 year old on stage in Trinidad. Here are the lyrics to the song:

I'm sorry for the hand that she was dealtAnd for the embarrassment that she feltShe's just a little young girl trying to have funBut daddy should of never let her out that young

I'm sorry for Club Zen getting shut downI hope they manage better next time aroundHow was I to know she was underageIn a 21 and older club they say

Why doesn't anybody want to take blameVerizon backed out disgracing my nameI'm just a singer trying to entertainBecause I love my fans I'll take that blame

Even though the blame's on youEven though the blame's on youEven though the blame's on youI'll take that blame from you

Now, call me crazy, but maybe Akon should have thought about blaming himself for this one:

And here's what the lyrics should have been:

Sorry I dry humped the shit out of youYou were only 15, should have been in schoolDidn't know that you had a preacher for a dadMan, I'm really sorry for hitting it from the back

You told me that you name was KikiGood thing we didn't get into the bukkakeThis whole thing has been a pain in the assWhy couldn't you have just gone to class

The blame's on meThe blame's on meThe blame's on meBecause I dry-humped you on stage and you were only 15

Oh, and here's Akon ragdolling Tara Reid on-stage. This girls has fallen off since Van Wilder:

(Note: Seriously dude, what's with the dry humping fetish? This guy's like everyone's worst nightmare at the dog run. Let's just chop the man's balls off and get it over with already.)

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