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Call it hunting. Call it culling the herd. Call it harvesting. That would be respectful of nature, especially if one eats the meat. It would be more respectful of the language, too.Deer just can’t handle firearms. So, how to level the playing field? My solution would be that to qualify as a “sportsman”, the hunter should be equipped only with knives, spears, and a bow and arrows. I only suggest the bow because humans, compared to deer, are pathetic at running.Calling it a “sport” implies that the deer have something of a chance to win, and not merely by running away to be a target someplace else, some other time. No, I won’t call it a sport until I see headlines like “Hunters, 43, Deer, 40”.

Hat $6Vest $102 way Radios are illegal in my state when huntingMy recurve bow and arrows are about $400Compass $40 (GPS is for wussies)Gloves $15Jacket $75Pack (I use my old Army pack)Boots $150 (I put the best on my feet I can buy)Range finders are for wussiesHand warmers are also for wussies but are only $0.50 apieceRain gear $50Knife $40Scent $20Multi tool (highly recommended) $100

The price of a tree stand (if you use one – I do not) is about right.

And once purchased, all but the arrows, scent and hand warmers do not need replacing for a long time.

Deer have increased in my state to the point they are pests. So I only take one buck and the rest females to help with population control. Deer have a better chance of surviving than many think. They have superb senses and reflexes and are savvy when hunted, especially by archery where you have to get in close. Besides, they are rather tasty. Not as tasty as elk or moose, by any means, but toothsome nonetheless. The skins are also useful. I don’t keep antlers from bucks unless they are record-size or nearly so, I use them to make buttons and as scales for knives and things.

I read an interesting news story recently: The production of a $17,000 rifle with a computerized scope that automatically tracks and ranges its target and works to prevent the user from firing until the shot is perfectly lined up. The scope has a digital heads-up display that tells the operator exactly where to point the weapon, and can even wirelessly interface with an iPad..Well, if nothing else, it’s getting ever easier to tell the true sportsmen apart from the guys who are hoping that a big rack in the den will compensate for a small pike in the bedroom.

Big problem everywhere. Man’s an in-efficient predator in the natural food chain. They need their native predators back in the environment, wolves and cougars. It worked in Yellowstone.

Not sure if that would work in all areas. Forest Preserves, parks & even cemeteries in urban areas have seen increasing deer populations. The deer have lost their fear of humans in that environment, & in some places roam the streets, feasting on peoples’ gardens.

Most places are coming to terms with the notion of culling the herd. I’ve heard some places donate the meat to food pantries.

Men are much more efficient predators than wolves or cougars. Only man can hunt a species to extinction…

While our local deer herd is in decline, because of overgrazing by cows mostly, had a deer on the deck last night eating my wife’s potted plants.

I’ve spent decades as a hunter, and firmly believe you can’t eat antlers, and our feathered friends can provide food for the table. Also spent decades managing public lands for wildlife. One of the problems in the east IS the overpopulation of deer on PUBLIC land ares that are “protected” specifically because these habitat refuges are limited by the development on PRIVATE lands surrounding them. In those cases, as the predators are also gone, “culling” is necessary as a management tool.

The ’toon makes me laugh because having hunted most of my life (including two-legged “game”), the getups some of these guys show up with, yes, to sit around camp drinking, or running around on the ATVs running all the game off, is pretty accurately depicted. The tree stand is also the giveaway this is an eastern area, but Heller left out the bag of apples the “hunter” has to bait the deer. (even where it IS illegal!)

While hunting with bow and arrow seems to level the field a bit, there are problems. A friend lives in upper Michigan and hunts every year. A few years ago, he hit a deer with an arrow, but it was not (immediately) lethal. So he had to try and track the deer (more out of compassion than to complete the hunt), but lost the trail after a while. He felt bad about that because (like good hunters should) he felt responsibility for the manner of death of the deer.

For sport hunting (as opposed to the very small number of people who really, really need to hunt to have meat during the winter), I’d say require the use of flintlock rifle. They carry a punch, but it is relatively short range. Which, if you are in the woods, shouldn’t matter, but it does keep you from making the longer shots to the next ridge, where the deer has less chance of detecting you.

You can pick out the “hunters” in the comment section. Pests?, population control? oh please.. Try mitigating the damage you did when you played at being “hero” by killing off all the predators who used to keep things in a balance.

About Joe Heller

Joe Heller has been the staff editorial cartoonist for the Green Bay Press-Gazette since 1985. His cartoons appear in more than 350 publications, making him the most self-syndicated cartoonist in the nation.