Monday, September 14, 2009

Day 364 The Beautiful Changes Inside and Struggling To Hit 1500 Calories

Day 364

The Beautiful Changes Inside and Struggling To Hit 1500 Calories

My Saturday stole seven hours of my Sunday, so with Saturday night ending at 7am---I knew that Sunday was going to be an altered day. I still managed to be up by noon, only because Irene had to leave town by 1pm to meet a friend in Stillwater and I wanted to have lunch with her before she left. We enjoyed some tacos at our dining room table before Irene left, then Courtney and I grabbed a script and headed for the living room to see if I'd forgotten anything from the night, er, uh...morning before.

I sincerely have to thank everyone in my life for being so supportive of me. Accepting the responsibility of a stage production seemed like the last thing in the world that I needed to add to my already busy schedule. But with everyone from family to co-workers, and even my boss—all understanding how monumentally important this is to my journey, even if they think I'm crazy for the schedule, they still understand and support. You see, this is much more than a play to me. It's also a symbol of my freedom from obesity. Not only am I breaking free from the chains of being nearly 300 pounds overweight, I'm determined to do all of the things I couldn't before just to show morbid obesity who's in charge now. And to remind myself that I can. I don't have to be that reserved, insecure, self-loathing guy anymore. Losing weight is giving me the freedom and the confidence to be me, the real me, possibly for the first time in my life. The transformation I speak of within these pages is so much bigger than any physical change. Yes, the physical changes surely provide some wonderful moments and “wow” reactions from people around me. But the changes inside, oh the beautiful changes inside! These internal changes provide me with an endless supply of my own personal “wow” reactions. I'm very thankful for the understanding from everyone in my life. I'm a very lucky guy indeed.

Irene's plans called for her to enjoy dinner with her friends. It was just Courtney and me for dinner here at the house. I grabbed a couple of chicken breast from the freezer and started to take them to the outdoor grill before deciding that this was a job for the George Foreman Grill on the counter top. I whipped up a couple of servings of mashed potatoes and warmed some green beans and in not long at all a completely satisfying and low calorie meal was on the table. The breast were small, about 150 calories each, the potatoes—130, and the green beans with an added slice of American cheese melted over—checked in at 50 calories per serving. 330 calories for the whole plate, not bad at all, and delicious!

Play rehearsal was fantastic. Some scenes were better than others, but it's really coming together. This is going to be a fine production. I arrived home from rehearsal with a whopping 800 calories remaining for the day. Oops. I mismanaged my calories the other way today. I didn't eat enough earlier! Now it was nearly 11pm and I was sitting at only 700 calories. I knew I wasn't going to force down 800 calories before bed, but I did make myself a mushroom with extra cheese pizza on a pita for 220 and then I grabbed a banana and a dream bar ice cream treat. All of this brought my calorie total to 1,090, still under my “required” 1200---But oh well, I'll have to manage better next time! It's so funny that I had a “problem” getting to 1500 today, that's crazy really. Below 1200 isn't really good for the metabolism, but seriously---that's a rarity.

Monday will be Day 365! But Tuesday the 15th is officially my one year anniversary. I guess I'm celebrating both days. The 365th day of my journey and then the actual anniversary of Day 1. If you're new to these writings, I encourage you to go back and read from Day 1. That's the only way to fully understand the changes and epiphanies I've experienced along this road. Those experiences and epiphanies come one day at a time. I didn't know how I would do this on Day 1. I was walking on faith and sheer determination. But what has unfolded is nothing short of a miracle to me. Day by day a complete understanding of where I always went wrong before became completely clear. And with that clarity came a very simple approach to winning this time. I hope you invest the time to read if you have the chance.

It's Monday morning as I write this Sunday post. I've got to jump in the shower and head to the studio for my morning radio show. Tonight's Day 365 post will be a wonderful thing, I can't wait! Thank you for reading. Goodnight and...

15 comments:

I love you baby!! I know why you are doing this and baby you are free...free and confident, and so happy for the changes in you!! so proud of you and all you do and all that you stand for...You mean the world to me and the WOWS just keep getting longer and better than ever, and more to come....Happy anniversary baby...love you all my heart!!Love you always and forever!!Irene

I never have a problem making at least 1200 calories and usually struggle to stay at 1500. Since I spent the weekend in NYC I think I probably ate more than that. Can I give you some of my extra? I'll say Happy Anniversary now since I'm reading this on Monday. Can't wait to read today's blog!

It's generous of you to share this "inside" journey with everyone...it gives those of us who haven't made our first anniversary a real picture of what it is like, and something to look forward to! It's exciting, and I'm happy for you.Loretta

I feel very fortunate to have come across your blog about a week ago, Sean. Ever since, I have been diligently reading through each entry, from day 1 up to today---and I'm finally caught up, just in time for your weight-loss-journey anniversary! I feel incredibly grateful that you have shared the day-in, day-out struggles and triumphs of a successful loser here. I am reigniting my own hopes for weight loss partially because of what I've read here. You've given me hope. I'm going to see how a simple plan similar to yours works for me, the Queen of Overcomplication! I'll be starting my own Day 1 tomorrow :).

Hi Sean. I'm Kelly from NY. I got your blog site from a mutual friend of ours - Lisa in Texas. I just want to thank you for breaking it down in such simple terms. It finally clicked for me 11 days ago. I've been doing WW for 2 years, but the last 11 days have been so freeing & simple. Thanks for that. You're such an inspiration! (freewebs.com/kellyny)

Hurray Sean! Your incredible entries have been a strong motivation to me. Its amazing to see what can happen in a years time when you keep it simple. Calories in Calories out. I've set a boundary and there is actually freedom within the margins. Celebrate your vast achievement!Thank you SEAN!Shelliwww.shellibelly.com

Hey there Superman!! A whole year and the commitment is still going strong...the calorie counting and staying within your limits is second nature, the exercise keeps increasing. What's not to love about a superhero like you? :)

Thanks for caring just as much about our travels as we all do about yours. :)

Hi Sean, Sounds like you're working it out with the schedule flip ups and still able to maintain positive weight-sanity behaviors. Good on you! Keep up the great work and you will have true reason to celebrate those one year markers. You're changing on the inside-out and not just on the outside. Now that is something to be proud of...!

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This blog started as a daily account of what became a 275 pound weight loss. The archives contain over 1,000 individual blog posts. Sean hit his goal weight of 230 in November 2010 and maintained for 1.5 years. Then spent the following 1.5 years regaining 164 pounds. The most current postings on this blog chronicle Sean's efforts to stop the regain and return to a healthier weight. Sean specializes in the mental and physical dynamics as they apply to his journey. Sean is also active on Facebook and Twitter.