It occurred to me the other day as I was triple-checking the locked status of every door in my house, that I have a series of mild OCD routines that may or may not be big-time OCD routines. I don’t particularly get freaky if I can’t perform these little “quirks,” but I just thought about it as I wrote those last few words and I’d get freaky if I didn’t perform these little quirks.

So in an effort to deflect and make my borderline nutso-ness fun, I’m listing my behaviors – those little things I do daily – and calling it the cutsey “My Weird Quirks.” Do you have some of your own? Add them to the party!

Meanwhile, those “things” I do are listed below:

1) Inspect my shoes:

Every morning before I return my slippers or shoes onto my feet, I must shake them first in case any errant spiders crawled inside and are waiting to eat my big toe. Or poison my bloodstream with killer venom.

2) Lock the doors:

Like I said above, I check and re-check that my doors are locked. I want to say this all originated because I had a stalker, but he kicked the locked door down in the middle of the night, so I really should have a routine where I brick up all entrances to my home nightly. And I don’t do that, so I must not have PTSD!

3) Vacuum:

Sure, we all do. But is it that insistent, incessant vacuuming where you’re trying to cleanse the soul of your carpet? If the sight of even one crumb on the floor twitches your face, you can join my club. BYOB! (Bring your own Bissel.)

4) Hoard items in my purse:

I have 72 purses and each one is filled with receipts, lint carnage, and paper straw wrappers. I’ve gone smaller and smaller with my purses so I am physically incapable of putting more into them, but I find ways, like taping “clean your purse” reminders to the outside. And if you saw my big purses, you’d pitch TLC to make a show about me, possibly titled “Can’t Get Enough Pursey.”

5) Keep the lights off when I go to the bathroom:

I just don’t like to see what’s in bathrooms. I have a toilet thing, too, so I pretend I’m not on one when I’m peeing and if I keep it dark in there, I can almost believe the “I’M NOT SITTING ON SOMETHING THAT’S WARMED 1,000 BUTTS BEFORE MINE” fantasy.

6) Touch my face:

You know how people tell you not to pick your zits? I don’t listen. If there’s anything looking even close to congested to my skin, I must let it out. Also, I love pus. Don’t tell anybody. (And for the love of spiderless slippers, don’t even Google “pus videos.”)

As for you, any weird quirks of your own that you can list to defray the blinding light of CRAZY I just shined on myself, write them down!

Here’s how!

Please post your submission in the comments OR post in your blog and leave a link to your blog in the comments.

I wear gloves. For cooking. For cleaning. For putting on sunblock and makeup and hair products. Pretty much to avoid washing my hands often because they are SOOOOO dry. Also… Dog poo in grass grosses me out. A lot. Like, “why would you let your kids play in the dog toilet?!?!?” Grosses me out. We all have our things :)

I lock the door to the bathroom even when no one is home or expected to be home. Every door and drawer must be closed in the house or I die a little inside. I do laundry everyday (family of 5) but fold it all maybe once a week. And that’s all you’re gonna get outta me. For now.

You are so funny!
I’m a compulsive floor cleaner, too. I like to be barefoot and I HATE stepping on anything–even a crumb.
I need the lights ALL OFF and perfect darkness to sleep at night, too.
I cannot leave for even a weekend if the house isn’t perfectly clean the garbage taken out.