Fort Sumter Going Condo. Hook to Handle Advertising.

It’s official, the most sacred ground in Charleston – Fort Sumter – is being turned into a luxury condominium complex. Hook has been chosen as agency of record for the project.

There will be a total of 358 two, three and four bedroom units, each with spectacular views of Charleston Harbor. Additional amenities include:

120 slip marina

4-acre park with public access

Small grocery store

Skeet shooting range

Driving range

Tennis courts

Swimming pool

Jogging trail

Fitness center

Private spa

Childcare facilities

Regular water taxi service

The developer, who wished to remain anonymous until the public has had a chance to digest the Fort’s new fate, had this to say, “We’re prepared for some local backlash, but we think the economic impact – several hundred new jobs and millions in tax revenue – will help people see the benefits of letting Fort Sumter go condo. We’ll intend to use most of the original remnants of Fort Sumter during constructions. Several of the cannons will placed in the public park for all to enjoy. We’re in talks with the Mayor to host a massive 4th of July Fireworks event to kick off construction.”

Selling Fort Sumter is part of the Federal Government’s plan to reduce the national deficit. A plan that may prove to be very unpopular with Americans. Five National Parks were chosen based on their real estate appeal.

“Revenue gained by selling some of the lesser National Parks will sufficiently cover operating expenses for the remainder of our National Parks for the next 8-10 years. It’s a win-win situation for our parks,” said Ed Clivesdale of the Treasury Department.

Tom Jeffrey of Hook added this, “It’s a real honor and privilege to land this account. It’s going to be a blast.”

The developer went on to say, “As you can imagine, local real estate agents are chomping at the bit to sell these incredible units, many of which will have direct views of Charleston, the Ravenel Bridge and the Yorktown. Many will be thrilled to commute by boat.”