A blog to share and educate through my experience as an orthodox, gay and (formerly) married Jewish man conflicted about finding a deeper understanding of God, religion and spirituality. At the same time I am looking to give and get support from others in a similar situation.
Please note that I have opened up the ability to comment once again. You can also feel free to email me at festerfest123@gmail.com.

Friday, September 14, 2012

I am putting the blog back up with one caveat. I have gotten a lot of emails through my blog (even texts and phone calls from people who know me as the author of this blog). I have felt the need to answer them for a while. Please forgive me now if I don't respond in the near future. My first priority is my family and my own health and it is hard for me to engage in conversation right now without sometimes getting hurt. That effects the people around me.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

I am suspending my blog for a while. I started this blog anonymously 15 months ago for 2 reasons; to help myself have an outlet through the lowest depression I was going through because my therapist recommended to me that writing will be therapeutic. I also wrote it to help others that are struggling understand that they are not alone.

I unfortunately need to be selfish for a bit. Even while getting a lot of support over the last month since this blew up, I have also gotten beaten down incessantly and continue to get hurt every day by various individuals. My sensitive nature is such that I get hurt deeply by the negativity. I need to be strong for my kids, my wife and myself. I have learned that there are horrible, unhappy, uneducated and vindictive people out there that can't relate to the pain they are putting me and my family through. I feel for you and I know there will be din v'sheshbon. You judge me about this and I haven't done anything the Torah says is assur. Loshon hora and motzei shem ra have potentially 31 positive and negative violations each time. Rosh Hashana is next week. Hatzlocha with that.

I have also learned of some amazing, beautiful and supportive people who are there for my family and me, no matter the circumstance. I am thankful and wish you a year of health, love, peace and happiness for you and the people close to you.

I know there will be a day soon where I can be there for you again. When I feel I have taken care of myself, I will be back. Until then, if you are hurting, I am so sorry and pained that right now I need to take time for me and I can't be there for you. I beg you though to see a specialist and not to keep it inside.