Life. It's kinda funny.

My work, though a source of pride and well, obsession, for me is also a form of therapy. Since the days where I worked myself though university I have used work to fill my days and many, many nights when I've been stressed and worried about other things in my life.

There's a theory that Asians are good a math because it's finite, concrete. Numbers don't change, while nuances in language do.

It's the same with work for me. It's the only thing that doesn't fluctuate. (All my friends in PR will laugh now, as our field is always in flux!) But really, for me, it's my security blanket.

And I've been hugging that security blanket really tightly the past couple of months. Plowing through a 15 hour workday helps me not think of doctor's visits, family turmoil and fear of what's currently going on with my life. Luckily (for me or for my clients, I'm still not sure) I've been pretty busy. Lots of project management, launches and media relations has been keeping me blissfully happy.

But I'm leaving for Costa Rica in a little over a week. I'll have nothing but a backpack full of books and a handful of clothing to keep me company. Well, that and my thoughts.

We'll see how it goes. I had originally planned to spend my week in CR meandering through some forest but after I read about the GINORMOUS bugs there, I decided to just head to a little surf town and lie blissfully in a hammock.

I'm not good at relaxation. It's counter productive for me. The more I concentrate on relaxing, the more antsy I get to do something -- anything! This is also the first time in a looooooooooooooooooooooooong time that I'll be traveling solo. In a way, I'm kind of really happy to go on a trip with the old me as my traveling partner.

When I was in my teens, I made a list of goals I wanted to accomplish. Things like 'Get published and/or Have a byline by the time I am 20" or "Go to at least 3 different countries" or "Live in another country for at least a year." (I've done all those, by the way)

But recent events have me thinking of my mortality. I don't have any solid answers but I've always been the person to have plans. (Much to the chagrin of my husband and sometimes, most of my friends and family) So I started thinking of a new list. One that was much like the list I made back when I was 14. I've only named it the bucket list (Which is a name for a list you create of things you want to go before you 'kick the bucket' -- before you die)

So I think I'll start this now, and see which my friends and family can add or take away. I'll be adding to it as the days go by. Please feel free to chime in, I love others' thoughts on this. Rather than being morose or sad, I think creating a list like this actually helps me. It seems hopeful in some way, provides me with a view of things I still have to do.

Because...I want more time.

Jo's Bucket List

1. Ride a motorcycle2. Get my pilot's license3. Pet a kangaroo4. Learn how to change a tire5. Run a 5k6. Raise a puppy7. Watch the sunset from a mountaintop8. Travel to all the continents in the world9. Grill a pizza successfully10. Take drum lessons and play in a drum circle11. Go on an exotic vacay with my girls12. Learn what exactly an exhaust manifold does13. Attend adult Space Camp14. Jump static line one more time15. See the Rolling Stones in concert16. Learn the difference between whiskies/scotches17. Snowboard in Colorado18. See Montana (I know this is unusual but I've always wanted to see this state, I don't know why)19. Meet my long lost biological siblings (I believe there are two that are rumored to exist but I've never met..)20. Cook an eight-course meal for my closest friends21. Buy 2000 threadcount Egyptian cotton sheets. (I have 1500)22. Hold a newborn baby for the first (DONE -- I thought this would be finished whenever I would have my own child, but Jen's baby Andrew was the first newborn I'd ever held. Most peaceful feeling I've ever had)

So much has happened since then that I'm really sad I didn't take the time to blog about them. I did Tweet the whole time, which is probably why I didn't bother to write a longer, more in-depth post.

But as much as Twitter satisfies my instant-gratification addiction, there's still this need to really put down what I'm up to and to delve into what's been going on -- the craziness of running my own gig, the changes I've gone through in health, friendships and just life at (cough cough) being in my 30's. I think this year, out of all years, I've come into my own and I *finally* don't feel like I have to apologize for feeling and thinking the things that I do. It's a weird thing for me and I'm looking forward to exploring that more.