Focus

Two things have been impossible: sitting down and writing.

Every time I try, I get distracted after a few minutes. I check my email, social media, I click through random items in my news feed or I suddenly remember that now, when I am supposed to be writing, is the time to make my laptop unusable by upgrading software or backing it up. In other words, I have been avoiding writing altogether. It needs to stop.

It’s been a struggle getting back into the daily groove of Hong Kong. I am persistently absent in my mind. Wandering around, never really here, or there. Sometimes I lose track of where I am. Sometimes I forget. I’m trying. But guess what, I don’t think the answer is hiding for me on a lifestyle Pinterest board. Sometimes I get carried away and spend hours browsing through other people’s lives instead of living mine.

I made an attempt to write a list of 52 things I wanted to accomplish this year, one for each week, but I stopped halfway because I ran out of things I wanted to accomplish. This has made me feel like shit as a result, because ultimately it makes me think I am not ambitious enough. I wanted to start another 52 weeks photography project, but before I could realize it, the first week of the year has gone by. And I am not going to start by cheating. You see it’s not for me. Resolutions, weekly things, et cetera. I don’t do well with templates and pre-organized things. I have never been able to start writing, and write well, by using those one-line writing prompts. At the moment, I am subscribed to half a dozen different writing prompts newsletters that I never open. Because for me, it just doesn’t work. I completed mindful mondays last year, but even then, it did not feel real. And I need the real thing.

So I will do what I did last year. Because it worked. Because I can’t be forced into anything. I need to learn to embrace myself instead of working against myself. In order to find my own voice, I need to listen to it first.

Manifesto

Write; every day (if possible). Document life.
Only do things that feel right.
Be grateful for what I have.
Call grandparents more often.
Take care of myself; eat well, sleep more.
Nurture the people I love.
Slow down & focus.
Grow, blossom, fly.(In order words, feel good.)

Oh and my word for 2015 is focus.

What’s yours?

pereguinn.co is a mix of my own photos + images found on the Internet. Please link back if you reuse any of my photos. Email me if you'd like me to remove any of images that are yours and you do not wish to be posted here. Similarly, if credits are missing somewhere, let me know.