The Provies: Willie Watch is back on, a highlight (?) and the saddest place in the world

Maybe you knew that already, and it was just confirmed when they were eliminated from the playoffs. But I mean, really dead.

It’s like they passed away, were buried in a Pet Cemetery and were subsequently resurrected, coming back as a monstrous, demonic shadow of their former selves.

They are the creepiest of horror stories, seemingly carved from the corner of one of Stephen King’s epic fantasies.

I see the name Sedin. I see the Sedins literally turned into props during target practice for the St. Louis Blues during third period shifts.

I see 6-foot-7 Tryamkin. I see Tarasenko knock him to the ice.

I see the name Ben Hutton. I see a player who looks nothing like him.

I see Emerson Etem. Wait a minute, no I don’t.

Fifteen shots. That’s what they managed in game they got down 2-0. Less than five a period. In a game the Blues had iced before the first period was over.

Fifteen shots. They never had the puck. And they amassed 14 hits. I remember none of them. Maybe that’s because each period felt like it was four hours long.

It’s pretty sad, actually.

The Sedins are wrecked. I’m sure physically. But this team’s woes go far beyond the physical. This is currently the worst team in hockey, and they don’t have a challenger. Not this week, anyway.

Is last overall possible?

Anything awful is possible.

But it’s just so Vancouver that in the year they really could end a season as the worst team in hockey, they could also do it and finish drafting fourth overall.

BEST WHAT NOW

That guarantee the coaching staff is coming back looks silly.

If management just puts a green check mark beside Willie and his assistants and says “Good try, the team sucked, see you in September” they’re not doing their job.

Because everything that has led them to this point should be re-evaluated. Nearly everyone has had a bad year. And now nearly everyone has checked out with two weeks in the season left.

The sewage is piling up. If you believe the Sedins — who keep saying bad habits will drift into next year — then you don’t believe the stench being amassed at a shocking pace can be cleansed because of a summer break.

It will be on management to figure things out given both time and those all important exit interviews.

If you think the team has given up on the coach, and that’s how it’s looked recently, can you really bring said coach back?

When arguing with me a bit about Willie’s future, management kept stressing how the team punched above its weight last year and you just can’t dismiss that.

Ya, I’m getting pretty close here to being able to dismiss that.

Either way, nothing should be off the table at this point, and a possible coaching change can’t just be dismissed as a non-starter because there are personal relationships involved.

It’s a tough business and there are times you need some vicious edge.

BEST DISCUSSION

Now that Auston Matthews has become this undeniable, taunting possibility, the city of Vancouver is already debating whether or not to trade him.

OK, that’s some hyperbole. But stay with me, we don’t have many options around town when it comes to talking hockey, unless we’re laughing at how bad the hockey team is playing.

As the story goes, the Coyotes would love hometown kid Matthews, and to make that happen, understand they’d have to trade OEL.

Trading OEL would gut the Coyotes on the blueline, working not unlike an extermination. So, I doubt this would ever be a thing, especially straight up, even if in return you’re getting seven years of service locked in from one of the best prospects we’ve seen this decade.

Personally, I don’t think the trade would happen. But if it were to happen, the Coyotes would likely need to get a defenceman coming back, preferably an NHL defenceman, say an Alex Edler type.

If the Canucks were to do that, they’d need more than OEL in return. That’s where things get complex. What would an Edler be worth?

Depends on who you ask.

Either way, it’s at least something to keep you busy until April 30th.

BEST REMEMBER WHEN

Remember when the biggest issue seemed to be Spizza deliveries?

BEST STAT

Brian Elliott needed fewer saves (34 total) to record two shutouts against the Canucks this week then he did for one shutout of Sharks (37)

I’m all in for anything that will draw attention to Burrows during what looks to be the final couple weeks of his Vancouver career.

That 1000th pro game (regular season only) was played tonight and it gave SNET a nice hook for a contest that had just about nothing to keep people interested.

In fact, the best part of the game was probably watching Burrows and the Boston Bruins drive each other insane.

Man, Burrows was a lot of fun to watch.

He did fight tonight, but things aren’t the same. They haven’t been the same for some time, and, in fact, purposely or not the Willie Desjardins era has all but muted the Burrows who was a local anti-hero of years past.

BEST ALMOST HAD IT

Is it fair to call Linden Vey a watered down, poor man's version of Kyle Wellwood? @botchford

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