Chimp Change: Caged Beasts to Be Added to Endangered Species List?

The Fish and Wildlife Service—known colloquially as “THEY’RE COMING! RUN!” amongst America’s fish and wildlife—has proposed adding “caged chimpanzees” to the endangered-species list, “an action that would likely significantly reduce their use for entertainment purposes, as pets and in research,” The Hillreports. Note that chimps living in the wild are already categorized as “endangered”—a distinction that has already drastically increased by chimp population by allowing chimps to pick up mates by declaring that “‘endangered’ is my middle name.”

Per The Hill,“If the proposal is finalized, organizations would need permits before using chimpanzees in any way that could harm them. The agency says it will only grant a permit for scientific reasons or to help chimps’ conservation.” So, a permit to teach the chimps better pick-up lines, for example, might count as an activity that will harm the animals (emotionally; ego-wise) but will ultimately benefit conservation efforts.

Meanwhile, isn’t pretending to care about the endangered species a very good way of seducing the vulnerable?