Go against the grain

"I was just coming out of Sainsbury's - you know, the one up in Kidlington."

"Yeah."

"And I was walking to the car and this car stops and this bloke offers me a mobile phone, a laptop computer and a digital camera. Guess how much?"

"Go on?"

"£400 the lot."

"Hookey wasn't it?"

"Eh?"

"Stolen."

"Yeah of course."

"These criminals should be locked up."

"Er, yeah, that's right."

"You didn't...You bloody did, didn't you?"

"What?"

"You took it."

"Well, £400 is £400."

"They could have been police. There could have been police nearby, you dumb idiot!"

"Yeah, but you know, to let this kind of offer go, well, it goes against the grain for me."

"I can't believe you. Have you no morals?"

"Er, no."

"You're as bad as they are...so, er, have you, er, still got the camera...?"

Notes:

Look at a piece of wood. Go on. Do it! Right, the wood should have some lines going down it. This is called the grain of the wood. When you cut the wood or try to make it smooth with some sandpaper, it is best to follow these lines. It's generally harder to go against the grain.

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