Mixed blessings

been a weird week. tried to get my grandson Kaleb back from his mom. she has had him 2 weeks and when I call he is crying and she is yelling, or no one is there at all. she finally called today and is giving him back to me tonight. she said.."I dont know how long you can keep him." ok with me-long is good.

Ant met some barmaid two weeks ago and she moved in with him to keep him company, so he is not as anxious. the other day he came and put siding on my 10 by 20 screened in porch on his own. he did a great job. told me I had to pay him but yesterday when I tried to, he would not take the money as he said he owes me so much more. ok with me. sad that this kid can do roofing siding painting, you name it and do it well...and he will sit in a cell for the next one to two yrs.

This Sunday we will move ant's stuff into my garage. first time he actually has stuff to store while in jail. October 17 will be hard as I have to deliver him to the courthouse to go to the state penitentiary. it will be a lonely drive back home. he paid his apartment rent up to this month and there is one month left on his lease. the owner found someone to take it over so he is giving back the security deposit and wont have to pay the last month rent. ant will use part of that money to take to jail so he can buy a small TV they allow in the cell. so he was out over a year this time, and has stuff and some money to show for it. maybe next time he will be out long enough to do even better.

Because of ant leaving and because the other three employees of boyfriend's are alcoholics...(two of which are going to jail this month too)...boyfriend is closing his business. he is 52 and tired of climbing all over houses to repair them. he starts a new job monday in sales, traveling a tri state area, working 12 hr days and saturdays. I will see him less it seems.

without Kaleb I sure would be one lonely gal. All my life God has sent me someone to help when I needed it most. this time it is a three yr old. go figure. my little man.

it is so strange to me because mostly in times of such change:
kaleb and his life
ant going to prison
boyfriend changing jobs and not being with me as much

I would normally get worried and fretful. I feel such a peace, sort of like God at work, stirring, and changing. how can I be afraid when he sees the big picture and works it all together for good? what may look scarey can simply be the birth of a new way, a better way.

Change is in the wind, so enjoy your time with Kaleb....saying prayers that ant can last the prison time and learn from his mistakes, also hoping the state prison has more to offer than just sitting around doing nothing.....

Change is what makes life interesting. Of course the kind of change Ant is in for is not pleasant, but it will make him who Ant is in the future. Hopefully, that is positive.

I am sorry to hear that boyfriend will be away more. I know spending time with him is enjoyable to you. But, you will find other things to keep you busy. It seems there is a lot of that on the board these days. As the kids get older I guess that is what happens, we search for ways to fill our days.

No wonder my mom is so involved in her grandchildren's lives. She would be bored without them! LOL!

{{{Janet}}} I will be along with you on the 17th also. You will not be alone at all. Take heart that this time around Ant is in a better place and position - he is maturing, albeit, a little at at time.

Enjoy Kaleb for the time that he's with you. It's nice that you will have that time alone with him I think. It'll do you both some good.

Janet I was going to point out that all those around you have their own path. They do revolve around you but just because "those planets" aren't there doesn't mean you aren't still shining bright.(like the sun)
You want and need Kaleb, that's wonderful for both of you but Janet you can manage and make it all by yourself.
The sun is still shining even on the cloudiest days. You have been a consistent axis for your family to revolve around.
Being alone is a whole lot less scary than a difficult child and a houseful of arguing.
I'm sending good thoughts for ant's safety in jail and hopefully some insight to the why and how he got into this situation.

I have checked everyday for posts from you, anxious but nervous to see how you and Ant were doing as the month had turned to October. I know this will be extremly hard for you as well as for Ant.
You are an incredible, strong, independent women. Kaleb is so so lucky to have you in his life. The Universe is aligning these paths this way for a reason. You need more time with Kaleb for Kaleb. This is all going to work out.

I would like to pen pal with Ant while he is away, if its ok with him.

I can only imagine how difficult this will be for you, heartbreaking to say the least. You sound like your in a good place about it though. Try and keep your spirits up and enjoy Kaleb. I believe everything happens for a reason, as cleche' as that sounds I really believe it to be true. I only hope one day, when we go to that paradise in the sky, we will find out what all this pain and suffering is about. As hard as it is, they say times like these are the times you have to keep the faith. I know it is easier said than done. I will be thinking of you on the 17th and sending you positive thoughts.

Hang in there. Have fun with Kaleb, cherish your time together. Will keep you in my prayer's.