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Thursday, March 6, 2014

Nightmare Fuel

I had a nightmare last night.Well, a series of them.I do not often have nightmares.I know this because I remember a large number of dreams I
have. At least for a good number of hours. Only in looking back on this
dream was I able to really determine what was going on.

This nightmare was what I would call a "meta
dream."That means it was
aware of the fact that it was a dream, but I wasn't.At least not at first.Similar to a lucid dream but the DREAM had the lucid
part.It started out as a normal
dream, I believe my daughter was in it.But at some point she was taken away… and then bad things started to
happen.It was almost like a home
invasion, but the invader was not human.It was too thin. too gaunt, too strong.Its face was like a mask and the rest of it was black.And it started to torture me.I was tied down.I was thrashing my head from side to
side.When I finally looked next
to me, I saw a disturbing figure, almost human but with red stripes against its
white face.The only problem was…
I had already woken up.

I was indeed awake when I saw that figure, and I remember
calling for help.I don't know if
I actually said anything or if that was in my mind.It was meant to be a shout, but what I heard, which could
have been internal, was a whimper.I couldn't move my arms, only my head.And I was worried that it would be going for my
daughter.It took a few seconds
before I was finally able to move again, and the figure vanished like the dream
it was.It had been lying next to
me one moment, looking disfigured and torn open, and then it was all a
memory…Of course, when I went back
to sleep, it continued.At this
point, the first figure, the thin one, was taunting me.It knew I was dreaming, that I was
asleep, and that I could do nothing about it.I didn't get a very restful sleep last night.

I believe I just had my first instance of sleep paralysis.I was likely awoken
during my REM cycle, which is when you dream.The brain has a
mechanism that paralyzes the body during dreams so you don't actually act
things out.Sometimes, when you
are suddenly awoken, this mechanism can be slow to turn off…but it can also cause very realistic
and terrifying hallucinations.Strangely,
I did some research on this a few weeks ago, specifically about the
"hag" phenomenon.

When I look back, I can see some things that would have
triggered this.The first is that
I went to bed late last night.I
was a bit depressed at failing to be even mentioned in the Dark Crystal
contest.When I get depressed, I
tend to lose the desire to sleep or eat.I also had seen an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation where Riker
and other crew members go through the classic "alien abduction"
scenario.And that night, just as
I was heading to bed, I heard a strange and disturbing sound that made me worry
that someone was breaking in.It's
a big house, and with three cats such sounds occur from time to time.I fell asleep while intently listening
for footsteps, breathing, floor creaking, what have you.My mind was going over what would
happen, if I would be able to get to Addy in time, or if the intruder would
even think to look in her hiding spot.It was prime nightmare material, I tell you.

I hope I don't have another episode.When you find yourself unable to move
and staring at something that should not
exist, when your daughter is threatened and you can do nothing about it… it is enough to make a guy not want to sleep
again.