Romance and Other Dangers

Adventures in Spousing

Hubby and I went to CanTire to pick up garden/landscape supplies. I get my pea gravel, my river stones, my mulch, and my potting soil, pay, load them into the car, and head back into the store to find him. Locate hubby gazing longingly at power tools. Right before I get him away from the drills and reciprocating saws, he spies a neat new measuring tape. I remind him, as he fondles the measuring tape with its futuristic black contoured case and laser sight, that he already HAS three measuring tapes at home. He looks at me and at a random gentleman standing a few feet away, scoffs at my suggestion that he doesn’t need another one, and declares that a man needs a measuring tape for every room. The other man grins and agrees, and then states that his wife would then take it anyway. I remark that I keep a measuring tape in my purse already. We head toward the exit, when he spies a friend of his and tells him that I wouldn’t let him buy another measuring tape. THE GUY (without having heard hubby’s spiel from five minutes earlier) SAYS THE SAME GOLDARNED THING ABOUT GUYS NEEDING A MEASURING TAPE FOR EVERY ROOM.

So, my question to you, Interweb, is this: how many people out there (guy, girl, trans, whatever, I don’t care) have a measuring tape in every room? And . . . do you think, if I went to look right now, I would FIND a measuring tape in every . . . *face-palm*

Right? Especially when the designers go and fancy them up with laser sights! COME ON!

Of course, our house has one of those vortex problems in which simple items are easily lost and must be replaced . . . and then as soon as the replacement is acquired, the lost item shows itself within a few days or weeks . . . You’d think that we’d be able to keep track of measuring tapes, hammers, screwdrivers, socks, etc., by cleaning, but nooo — it’s in the cleaning that they get lost!