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Thursday, 30 December 2010

Holiday at home does not feel like holiday (I have been complaining), but we did a bit of local Zoo visiting today. It felt good to get out of the house and to leave the DIY list that gets bigger and bigger... (Like Hubby hammering in some nails for pictures, and the hammer head fell off on the tile. Now the tile needs to be replaced! “sigh”)

The Johannesburg Zoo is a great place to take a kid. The toddler is two already. We could have taken her a lot sooner! She had a blast.

I remember how the cages used to look at the Zoo when I was a child. It was all steel cages with cement floors. I used to be quite depressed after a visit to the Zoo. A lot has changed since then. Thankfully! Most of the enclosures are replicates of the natural habitats of the animals. There are glass panels to look through and more open spaces for the animals! It does not look like steel cages anymore!

The toddler wanted to move non-stop, and did not appreciate us stopping for coffee or lunch. The toddler tantrum is getting a bit much nowadays. Especially when in public! Horrors when she goes into high pitch mode and throws the tantrum on the floor. At home we ignore. But it is very difficult when it happens in a restaurant... I cannot proclaim anymore - with a smug shoulder shrug - that we don’t have it as bad! Just tonight I thought my head was going to explode because of the loud piercing shriek when I washed the toddler’s hair! Yes, the Terrible Twos has arrived!

We saw most of the animals, such as elephants, giraffes, lions, snakes, owls... Mieka was not impressed with the Max the Gorilla statue (see photo top right hand corner), but had no problem with the “live” animals. It rained near lunch-time; with thunder and lightning. But luckily there are a lot of trees. And when the sun came out, it was a scorcher again!

We got in some much need exercise as well, and in the end we had to cut some corners. Our feet were killing us! We will definitely need to go back to check out the animals we have missed!

(Photo: My first attempt at a collage with my new Photoshop software. It’s not very user-friendly, is it?)

Monday, 27 December 2010

Amazing: another Public Holiday! Whoopee!
I was preparing my lists of stuff to do when we realized we are not going to get all the shops and banks open.
Photos: Mieka playing in the garden yesterday.
Enjoy your day! :-)

Sunday, 26 December 2010

It is actually the toddler’s 3rd Christmas, but she was only 4 days old on her first Christmas in 2008.

This year she knows the word “present”, and she knows what to do with a present! Taking off the wrapping and actually looking at what is underneath... The previous year the gift paper was enough to occupy her for hours! We are not getting away with less this year!

Not that we mind! Not at all! There is nothing nothing that beats the excitement of giving a present to your own children...

Christmas time traditions are an important part of creating a family culture.
Some traditions we are upholding:

Giving of presents to each other. Yes, we are guilty of the Christmas gluttony of consumerism, but it is nice to be able to spoil each other! (We are really grateful that we are able to buy something for each other.)

We spaced the toddler with regards her presents. We did not give all of it in one go. We also
have two family gatherings where she gets presents from the family. (The lucky little fish!)

The Christmas tree – we put it up in the beginning of December, and the Christmas lights are flickering each night on the tree. The toddler told us regularly: “Kersboom” (Christmas tree)

Spending time with family. We had family gatherings on the 24th and 25th, with both sets of grandparents! The toddler loved playing with the nephews and niece, and she got a lot of attention from her grandparents!

It was a great time and we had lots of fun!

Today is a bit of a letdown. We look forward for so long to these days, and then it has passed already! It leaves me with a bit of “Is this all/IT?” That’s why next year we are not going to be here! Holidays is better when you are not staying home, but spending it somewhere else!

I hope you had a great festival time, and that all your expectations came true?

Monday, 20 December 2010

I saw the hash tag #worsethanatoddler on Twitter by 5minutesformom. I had to smirk smile at myself! It describes our dogs just as well! They are worse than the toddler!

And we have done it twice now! I don’t know where we got the romantic notion of a little dog that sits at our feet at night, and who comes when called, and go out and pee in the rain when ordered? Our dogs do not bark on cue! Never!

The new addition, the Miniature Yorkshire Terrier is extremely cute! He gets away with “murder” most of the time because of his cuteness. He wants to sit with us on the coaches, and we have caught him sleeping on it as well. He jumps like a regular little buck between the coaches. He is forever standing to attention for a scrap of food from the table, but turns his nose at his own food.

He does not do sleeping outside. We have relented every time, because he keeps on bumping against our security gate, and giving loud yelps! He wants to sleep on beds, and it would have been fine. But he also lifts his leg in the house. I hope we can still teach him – he is an old man at 5/6 years of age!

Our other dog, Petite Peu, is not impressed with the new addition, and jealousy makes her keep guard 24/7 over Benji. To make sure that he does not get more attention than her... Not that Benji gets frazzled! He prances around like a Prince in the house!

The two humps each other every now and again. They are both neutered, so it must be something to do with being the top dog... I think?

In any case: The next time I hear about a dog that is looking for a house; I will be pressing the Forward button, and not Reply! You hear!

Another New Year’s resolution: Be careful of the Reply button!
What New Year’s resolutions do you have listed by now?

Sunday, 19 December 2010

When birthdays come around, it makes you think of the time around the birth, and how excited we were to meet her! It was a very difficult time, mostly because of the sleep deprivation, but it was one of those truly awe inspiring live-changing events of our lives. I feel the same about the birth of the teen as well!
I will be writing Mieka’s birth story very soon. It needs to be written before we forget about it...

The toddler at two years of age:

She uses two to three word sentences. She repeats everything we say to her.

She loves loves playing with dolls. She spends the most of her time dressing (more undressing) the dolls, and wrapping them and cuddling them.

She climbs the stairs all by herself. We usually try to follow right behind her, but today she climbed them on her own. We got a big fright when we realised she went up to her big sister! Scary! But “tick” – She climbs the stairs!

She “makes coffee” for us with her stacking cups and stirs it with a hammer. (The tea set for her birthday is going to be a big hit!)

I have said before that I think the toddler is the cutest ever now at two! She wraps our faces in her hands, and gives us big kisses, and rolls her face over our faces! That is the most love –inspiring act that makes us want to eat her up as well!

Luckily it seems that the toddler is not a morning person. She stays sleeping with us until eight over weekends or when we can. (The next two weeks of holidays are definitely going to be bliss.) As long as she gets her “booby” she is fine!

Breastfeeding until she is two years of age. I have these goals when to stop breastfeeding, but it seems that BF just works better and better for us! I am just as surprised as everybody else that I am still breastfeeding the toddler. (Big smile!)

Code Name Mama asked last week on Twitter for one reason why we love being a parent, and I replied that I love seeing the new personality develops! At two the personality is really starting to show! It definitely is an adventure!

Friday, 17 December 2010

This afternoon we had the most glorious time at the Rhino and Lion Nature Reserve near Muldersdrift on the West Rand. The weather played along very nicely for Hubby's end-of-year function.

The toddler got her first bee sting. She handled it very bravely when the teen came running with her with the stinger still attached to her foot. She just got a little bit excited, as the rest of us, when a bee landed on her face as well. Luckily her Dad sorted that bee, and got rid of the stinger very quickly. She was happily occupied for about half an hour when I gave her Rescue Cream to put on the swollen bite area. (Nothing that gets the toddler in one-track mode than a little bit of cream...)

I have not been to this Nature Reserve for many years, but it is definitely a place well worth visiting more than once. Not only can you drive around and watch animals like rhinos and bucks, but there is also lots of fun stuff for the kids to do!

Mieka and Dad had a swim, which she enjoyed very much.

There is a baby animal center, as well as reptiles to look at.
We got there when the baby lions were being fed, which was a huge bonus. They usually close the area at 4pm, but they let us stay to watch.

The bird wanted a piece of that snake, but no luck! Really funny to watch!

There is a restaurant as well on the premises, and the children all got an ice-cream at the end of the function.

I can definitely recommend it as a place to take the kids! Mieka could not get enough of seeing the rhinos, the hippos, baby lions, as well as the snakes. I wish we had more time than just this afternoon!

The best of all; she fell asleep almost at her usual time, and not a peep from her since...

Thursday, 16 December 2010

I have just spent an hour with the toddler on the bed, and now Dad is trying some more. Another hour has passed already, and we are still hearing the giggle from the bedroom...

Sleep stays an “adventure” every night! Sometime she announces that she is going to bed, and we have to move to walk with her up the steps. Even when it is before her bed time. We do try to keep to the bed times! Sometimes she asks for “booby” and falls asleep on the breast. And it’s easy...

But sometimes we get nights, like tonight, where nothing helps! Especially when we have decided to drink that second glass of wine... Murphy does keep his ears wide open, you know!

Nowadays she also wakes up with a scream when she sees we are not sleeping next to her!

Sorry, have to go make a bottle... Dad has just sent me a sms from the bedroom.

Fifty minutes later, but Little Miss and Dad are finally down for the night. I had to lie down as well. Yawn!
Who says that sleeping with the toddler is not a fun adventure? (Sarcastic smile)

It’s been raining non-stop here since yesterday, and before that we had grizzly weather for longer than a week now. We love the rain, and welcome it! The earth needs it desperately!

But we go into complain mode when it seems that there is no end in sight. (We don’ know what we want, do we?) I feel sorry for you in the Northern Hemisphere with the cold! Here we are used to long sunny days of sun during the December holidays and over Christmas!

We bought the toddler an umbrella yesterday, and she and Dad went out for a stroll in the rain this morning! It was a huge treat, and she did not want to come back in again... Love it when she enjoys something so much! She is taking an early morning nap now, which is a huge bonus! We are really chilling now...

Luckily it is a public holiday here today. One day less to worry about what to do with the toddler while working... And tomorrow is my last day. Whoohooo!

Monday, 13 December 2010

I had my “shopping day” today. Once a year we get an extra shopping day, instead of our normal afternoon off a month. It is a huge bonus, and we plan long before the time on how to spend it.

We had some rainy weather the past couple of days which has been a huge relief. How I wished this morning that we did not make any plans... But the teen had me booked for a manicure at eight o’clock - a Christmas present from her. Guess what? We were on our way, and the friend (whom she wanted to support) cancelled on us! We could have spent a bit lot longer in bed!

We went to the shops and tried to do some Christmas shopping. It is very difficult with a busy toddler. It is not getting easier. No, she is getting busier, and we have to keep a constant watch! I have a renewed respect for ALL mothers who get their shopping done with toddlers in tow.

We could show some shopping bags at the end of our shopping excursion. Which I am very proud off! It feels like an accomplishment of sorts! (Huge smile!)

I also had an afternoon nap on this Monday afternoon with the toddler. It was one of the best afternoons in a very long time! Sleep is not overrated here! No, it is more precious than gold! And I could spend some time with the toddler. She is extremely cute nowadays. I think this is the cutest time in a child’s life!

When do you think are they their cutest?

Only Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday that lay ahead. Thursday is a public holiday here this week! Then HOLIDAYS and time with the family and toddler!

Sunday, 12 December 2010

Friday was the last day of the school year for this year. It feels longer, because most children were already on “holiday” two weeks earlier. They just went to fetch their report cards on Friday. A logistic nightmare for working parents, of course...

The day care also closed for the year. The toddler has completed a whole year in her class.

The toddler got her report card:

She listens to her teacher.

Creative activities: She does finger pant; building with blocks; play with dolls.

Cleaning in class: She tries her best. (Is there a child who eagerly helps with cleaning up?)

She has adapted very well in class.

Eating: Very well. She begins to eat on her own.

Friends: She prefers playing on her own.

Sharing of toys: She struggles with sharing of her toys. (This is especially hard for singletons. I know from previous experience with the teen...)

She knows all the parts of her body.

Extra commentary: "She is a very good little girl and loving towards her teachers. But she bites her friends when she does not get her own way. She loves playing in the sand pit. It is a pleasure to have her in class. She loves listening to stories"

The biting is a big concern. She does not bite us at home. I hope that enough positive reinforcement of good behaviour and a bit lot of pep talk will take care of this.

Things to focus on/learn for the New Year:

Sharing.

Not acting in a negative way (hitting and biting) when not getting her own way.

Tuesday, 7 December 2010

About Mommy blogs and the Internet. We know things we did not know we had to know about being mothers and parenting and babies and toddlers. And when we don’t know, we can ask a whole worldwide community of knowledgeable mothers! Mothers have so many choices now.

Then the guilt tripping sets in. Maybe we should do it another way!? The green parents also make me wish I could be a better greenie!

I try most of the times just to juggle being a mother, and to work as well!

Sometimes we are so tired when we get home, we declare it a McD’s night out. Horrors, yes! We feed our children a McDonald’s hamburger every now and then. I even ask for the toy that comes with the food because I think it is some of the cutest toys ever. Now I hear it encourages bad eating habits... Guilty!

We do Christmas with Santa because we think it is a whole lot of fun! And it cultivates a special family tradition for the little one.

Luckily we also get validation of some of our parenting styles. Sometimes when the baby (now toddler) is more in our bed, I think about all the benefits of co-sleeping and don’t stress about it. The same with spanking which we don’t do – gentle disciplining takes care of that!

The other day I thought to myself that one of my New Year’s resolutions should be that I should relax about my own parenting style. I am an ordinary mother trying to juggle life! I try to aspire to be more mother and parent and working mother, but I give myself permission to just be ordinary. Sometimes I will live up to my aspirations, sometimes not. I love reading and will keep on reading about all those great parenting styles!

Sunday, 5 December 2010

We already have a dog. A dog that we thought is a Miniature Pinscher, but turned out to be something between a Dachshund and a Pug. She’s got all the irritating characteristics of all the breeds. For example the loudest bark ever for such a small dog, and she uses it All the Time!

But she’s our dog, and part of the family! We feel sorry for her being at home during the day when we are not around. Dries wanted to get another dog to keep her company, but I said that one was enough! Because Petite is definitely ENOUGH!

But the clicker dog trainer of earlier this year sent out an email earlier this week that her mother has to get rid of her dogs. One of the dogs is a Miniature Yorkshire Terrier! It stated that the dog works well with other dogs.

Guess what? We got ourselves a new addition to our family: Benji, the Miniature Yorkshire Terrier. Apparently there were ten responses of people who wanted to take the dog, and they selected us as the new family!

Now we’ve got another male in the house! (See also weekend photo of him sitting on my neck on the way back from his owner.)

He is the cutest most chilled-out dog ever. Petite Peu was a bit thrown by this small little thing prancing around, but Benji did not seem to be bothered at all. He spent the most of today marking his new territory. We did not know a small little dog could pee so much. He also marked the teen’s room! We think it is because Petite Peu had a few accidents there when she was younger...

Tomorrow our vet neighbour is going to clean his teeth, because he’s got the worst teeth ever! (Is that a flaw of the breed, or did he get too many snacks from the previous owner?)

I think all boys are made of something totally different than little girls. They are of a different species. My sister-in-law asked the other day if all boys are as busy as hers. I don’t have a boy, but I said yes immediately! When I compare my friends with their boys, and my girls and how they behave, I can only come to the conclusion that there is no comparison!

A little boy visited us the previous Friday with his mother. The children were playing in our vicinity, and they were as busy as little toddlers are supposed to be busy. We were watching them the whole time!

His mother noticed at one stage that he had a red mark on his cheek that was not there earlier in the day. The mark became swollen, and we had to conclude that he must have burnt his cheek against the gas barbecue outside. Horrors! Luckily it was only a little burn, and by the next morning the mark was almost gone... But, horrors! It shows that we need to watch the boa boy much more closely!

The little man must have burnt himself when he went too near the barbecue. But we did not hear a peep or a squeal! Not a complaint! He just took it in his boy stride, and went on playing. Boys are usually much more interested in fires and barbecues... For the rest of the evening we did not see him go near the barbecue! Hopefully he learns a lesson! Hopefully!

The two toddlers are happy to play next to each other, and as long as there are two chairs or two of whatever toy then they get along just fine!

What is your experience with little boys? Are they really that different from girls? I think so!

As you all know by now, I feel very strongly about dads who use violence of any sort against their families. In another life in another time I was caught up in an emotional manipulative relationship! That’s why I have an X... The X also did not contribute financially towards his daughter up until today.

To withhold money from your wife and from your children is a form of violence. To manipulate your “loved ones” (do you really love them?) by threatening financial repercussions is VIOLENCE against them. To not pay for your child when you are divorced from the mother is violence against the mother AND his own child. His own flesh and blood!

The sorry-excuse-of-a -dad of a friend’s child only has to pay R300 South African rands (42.74 USD; 27.35 GBP) in a month. It only buys about one bag of nappies and a can of formula! That is absolutely nothing. Then they don’t pay the maintenance, but complains about access to their children. And the poor mother has to juggle her finances, cope on her own with the child 24/7, AND has to be available for whenever the dad feels he wants to see the child...

Somewhere the equation does not add up!

When you decide to have a child, you also decide to take care of that child. Don’t you? But somehow it does not seem as logical for some people. They can just shrug it off, and say that “money does not have anything to do with love!” Yes, I have heard that argument a number of times! Unbelievable!

In these 16 days of no Violence against Women and Children I want people to also think of the financial violence that’s happening all around us. It does not show up in bruises, and tell-tale signs of domestic abuse. In the end it is violence in a very physical way! Children are deprived of the best we want to give them. They are deprived of opportunities because we can’t pay for everything! Our children are deprived in a very physical way!

Does it not make the sorry-excuses-for-dads feel guilty? I hope it does!