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**Just Announced** 3 additional categories have been added.Or at least the production team is handing out 3 more awards at the SlaggiesTM, says the current buzz...Along with a few other shwaggy typed things.

I wonder what the sub-categories are? And who could possibly be shwagging the slaggies? Wow! Just Wow!

Oy vey!Whence returning home from work on Sunday, to catch the finale and start the process of writing the gala awards show "script", I swerved to miss a car that had cut into my lane (without blinker) but was not quick enough.The driver having NOW noticed me, inexplicably slammed on her brakes, hitting the front passenger side of my car and sending me spinning off the road and into a sizable ditch.I go to hospital, they reset my left shoulder and put a cast on my left arm. They also had me stay a couple of nights because of potential head trauma.Then, just as I'm prepped for the recovery, I arrive at home and recognize what feels very much like a scratch in my throat.Upon waking up the next morning it was clear, I picked up some sort of bug at the hospital and am currently nearing the end of a (hopefully) 5 day flu. Complete with fever, body aches, coughing, congestion, and occasional super-snotty sneezes.Please, do not stand so close.

Anyways, as a result of that moment, the multi-night hospital stay, and the unexpected bug, I have been incapable of getting enough drug-free time on a computer in quite a while. But I am not a complainer, I am a doer.And I'm gonna do the $hi+ outta this GAS!

You with me?

Good.

*pops a couple Vicadin washing it down with a shot of Nyquil*

Oh already starting to arrive upon the fabled Teal Carpet are our residents and their accompanists.

I see ... CTgirl in shimmering Teal, Vixen twinkling in white and rhinestones, D'Abby unstoppable in polka-dots, jbug in full wing span and... is that krismiss?Well, all are invited, so glad to have you join the festivities.

Now I see ... agman in a red body suit, suzzee in the king's outfit, The Cherry Queen Georj, Kingfish and his date and 5cats.No other 5 felines I'd rather see at the awards show. The more the merrier, I always say.

And just before we head inside I see arriving...Wallflower and Flowerpower in appropriately floral gowns, Dakota in fatale red slinky sequins, There's byoffer with his date, the grapes, and qwerty doing her famous argentine lunge to hide byoffers twig and berries from full exposure. Thanks qwerty. Then there's The man-o-the-hour, Moley, with his dual gaga-girls. Way to go rodent!

VO: With a veritable pantheon of superlatives and lodge oriented awards to give away let's get right to the show, with your hosts... Mr. and Ms. Smith...Maggie & Jaden!!!Love the jacket and scarves look, you two. Are those bystander sneakers, Jaden?

Jaden: Yeah. Yeah, thanks Voice Over, introduction guy. So, Maggie, my lady, shall we begin this show with a bang or end it with one?Maggie: Why, Jaden, you little scoundrel! My intentions as a lady and as your guardian for this evening soiree are purely filicitous.Jaden: huh? Does that mean I need to wine and dine you? *brownchicken browncow*Maggie: All in due time. Jaden: Aww... c'mon. What's a man got to do?Maggie: Maybe this will shut you up.

Jaden: *gulp*Maggie: For now let's get this Gala Awards Show underway with a number.Just then, from the side curtains, out bursts a cadre of lithe leotarded lady limberists...The song?A medley of the dedications made ala steel drums and sea breezes... (a heart-felt Thank you! They were a perfect 'get well' card.)

Jaden: That sure did get me in the mood.Maggie: That and a slathering of Orgazyme should do the trick.Jaden: Huh? Well...speaking of Ori..gami. Our first presenter is Vixen.

Vixen: Able to fold paper into a plethora of phorms is a specialty of mine. Not to mention a fair amount of folding myself into precarious positions for the pleasure of others.There was also a modest amount of ruche-puckering done by the losers this season and this first award goes to the loser whom, whether successful or not, poured 150% of themselves into the purposeless of it all.

The nominees for Most Random are...

agman kingfishMolaholicsuzzee

and the winner is *opens envelope*agman!!!Look for agman to accept something below...

Maggie: Our next presenter is...

CTgirl: Thanks, Maggie! You Cougar, you. Who knew? Well, the losers have secrets of their own and one secret that can no longer be hidden is the large adaptation that a loser develops to survive and thrive in modern gaming.

The nominees for Biggest Adaptation are...

agmanbyofferGeorj kingfish

and the winner is *opens envelope*bydangle!!!Look for byoffer to grow and show below...

Georjanna: Thank you, Jaden. Boy, you are cute. However, our cast of losers were some of the hottest ever. And in a cross promotion with TopModel...

The nominees for LL Top Model are...

CTgirlFlowerpowerKermit the VixenWallflower66

and the winner is *opens envelope*Vixen!!!Look for Vix to pose for the cameras below...

Maggie: Nothing to add at the moment. Our next presenter is...

qwerty: Thanks for the intro, Mags. Sheesh.She sure is dramatic, ain't she? Not as dramatic as some of the losers this season.

The nominees for LL Drama Queen are...

FlowerpowerGeorjannajbugsuzzee

and the winner is *opens envelope*suzzer!!!Look for suzzee's royal decreement below...

Jaden: Is this it? I sit back stage and then come out every 6 minutes or so and introduce "Our next presenter is..."

agman: Yup. Pretty boring, dude. Ain't it? But you gotta spice things up. Like we do at the lodge.And the best way to spice it up is to add a tease. Well, we have our own tease and there's no need to even intimate that any others but one would befit this Slaggie.

The Winner for Lodge Tease is...Wall66!!!Look for Wallflower to vex, taunt, bewilder and bedevil below...

Maggie: *snap* *zip* *unruffles hair* Our next presenter is...

kingfish: Thanks, Mags! *wipes lipstick off face* You can use tribe's credit-card any time. *wink-wink* IfyouknowwhatImeanandIknowyoudo. Max it out, girl.

Blenda (kingfish's date for the show): I thought tribe's credit card was for me?! You told me I was the only one who could use it any time?!

kingfish: You can, babe. But I'm a giver and tribe's credit card is big enough to where I can give more of it, to more ladies in need. Remember when we met?You were in need, right? Do you want to deny another woman's needs? Do you want to make another woman cry? I don't think so.We okay?

Blenda: Wee okay, boo. *smoochiesmooch*

kingfish: Well, crisis diverted. And with the next slaggie is a promise of more than enough wealth to completely cover tribe's credit card in space-age prophylactics.The nominees for Most likely to become a Billionaire are...

agmanFlowerpowerGeorjannaand...Me??!!

WooHoo! *jumps out of denim cut-offs and runs, streaking, full-gill around the stage*

Maggie: YO! Gupster! You have to OPEN the envelope BEFORE you STREAK!

kingfish: Ah, right... and the winner is *opens envelope*Georj!!! *kingfish pulls his cut-offs back on and slinks off stage*Look for a hand-out from Georj below.......while kingfish looks for a hand-job from needy women

Jaden: Our next presenter is...

Dear Abby: Wow. Congrats to Georj! However, it seems we have a sulking Jaden and an extra sad kingfish, now.One way to turn that frown upside down is through exuberant rabble rousing.

The Winner of official Lodge Cheerleader is...*opens envelope*jbug!!!Look for jbug to lead a cheer below...

Due to the fact that some of you didn't even claim points, I just had to at least afford 1 point for a correct answer.With that taken into consideration, suzzer ends up having the best Hut-Cam results.

Overall...suzzee snags HutCam but byoffer proves himself the master of the G● and grabs the last week's biggest score.But was it enough to snag the overall prize?The Loser Lodge Winner?

Starting with the Loser Lodge losers and making our way down. Congrats to all and Thanks for playing...

LOSER

HutCam

G● (UV)

G● (Jen/Joe)

G● (JP Shout Outs)

this time

last time

over time

5cats

0

.

.

.

0

254

254

Gupster

3

.

18

.

21

301

322

qwerty

40

10

9

24

83

270

353

abs

4

10

18

.

32

348

380

Dakota

1

10

0

.

11

394

405

Wall66

40

10

9

35

94

318

412

Vix

2

.

9

24

35

388

423

suzzer

45

.

18

24

87

373

460

FloPo

2

10

9

35

56

420

476

Moley

2

10

9

24

45

438

483

5th Place: bydude

40

10

18

35

103

419

522

4th Place: jbug

2

10

18

.

30

492

522

3rd Place: CT

3

.

9

35

47

478

525

2nd Place: D'Abby

30

10

18

24

82

510

592

20

10

0

24

54

546

600

Look for Georj's acceptance of loser glory below...

Back to the superlatives...

Maggie: *puts shoe back on* *spits* Our next presenter is ...

Dakota: Let that be a lesson, Haggie! NO ONE eyeballs MY man.You get my meaning, ladies? Surely the following ladies understand...

The nominees for LoserLodge Real Housewife are...

CTgirlDearAbbyqwertypiesuzzee

and the winner is *opens envelope*CTgirl!!!Look for Bravo's newest star, CT, to pull some weave below...

Jaden: Gah, this is getting tiring. I need a nap. Our next presenter is...

Moley: Okay. Let's snuff his torch. Jaden, the tribe has spoken.As keeper of the snuffer for so many seasons of BTS I know my torches.Now it's time to pass the torch so to speak. The Lodge's torch. To keep it aflame through the off-season.Thereby, of decree by tribe himself (and probably influnced as a measure to re-secure the legendary credit card.)

The winner of Off-Season Lodge Innkeeper is...*opens envelope*Gupster!!!Look for kingfish to take a shine to you below...

Maggie: With the little Smith asleep in bed. Our next presenter is...

byoffer: Excellent. Now's the perfect moment to discreetly slip a nut in front of bazillions of losers.

Ahhh.... Much better.With the air down there circulating around my biggest of adaptations, it makes me ponder the small things.How small can they be?

The nominees for Smallest Ego are...

DearAbbyDakotajbugMolaholic

and the winnner is *opens envelope*Molaholic!!!Look for Molaholic to empower others through selfless acts below...

Maggie: Is this it? The last award? Time to call a cab for the after-party. And just to ChenBot things up a bit, But first...Our next presenter is...

Julie ChenBot: Thank you, Dame Maggie Smith. Big round of applause please, folks, for this amazing actress.Congrats also to Jaden for lasting longer than 8 Slaggies. That's pretty good for a tweener.Congrats also to Dare I say it, Dear Abby and Flowerpower. Yes. Congrats, D'Abby and Flopo. More on your prize right after this...

The nominees for Biggest Loser are...

5catsqwertypieKermit the VixenWallflower66

and the winnner is *opens envelope*qwerty!!!Look for qwerty to embrace her loserdom below...

tribe: Okay, to close the show, in a rollercoaster season, and to have slaggies for all but 2 players left me a little uneasy, so...Speaking from my heart, I am forever proud and grateful to have these two ladies, who despite not winning a slaggie, are still an immeasurable part of this lodge and most every lodge from the beginning of loserdom.Thank you, you beautiful babes.Now get to work!

Goodnight all! Time for another battery of meds, sleep and other soothers.See you at the after party!

Hope you're feeling much better. Sorry to hear about your accident! Sorry this is late, I had trouble finding my way out of Loser Lodge...

Congrats to Georj on her win! Nice going!

And thanks to all my fellow Losers for my first superlative. Watch out for Becky the Brawler in the future! And now back to the party at hand. I have a reputation to uphold. Why don't y'all join me in the lounge. I love these award ceremonies when they have an open bar!

Oh my, what an honor. I really don't know why I've been selected. All I did was follow the lead of some real smart folks. Of course, our real hero is our beyond wonderful host, who should be given some kind of award himself. Hoping all his recent boo-boos go un-boo-booed real soon.

W00t to the h00t(ers)!! What a great season and what a great LL Awards Show. Sorry to be so late with my speech, but it was a long weekend here in Canada, and I was very busy in the bush with the Flopo and D'Abby twins. The more seasons I spend with them in the lodge the more I appreciate all they bring to the party, and especially the after-party!!

Huge conga-rats to our Georji-girl for winning the season. What a close battle with D'abby. I can't believe I soared all the way up to actually be tied with jbug for 4th place, bumping to 5th only by losing the dreaded cheerleader tied-break challenge. Who knew a cheeleader would get disqualified for dangling berries during a pyramid build??

*smooches* to all the other Lodge denizens. Enjoy the off-season and rest up for next season. Surely (Shirley!!) Tribe will cook up some new phorm of nepharity for us for Survivor: The Phragility Phactor.

And as always, to Tribe our host with the most, the largest of possible thank yous. Thanks for returning to host this playground of debauchary for us.

Phunny thing is that I had originally had it start with "aged patio" and I kept thinking, what's an aged patio got to do with large adaptations? So I had to get over it starting with something "readable". Perhaps I should have started with just "apt"? or ... "Lap"?Ack...Hindsight!

Woo hoo! What a great season! So thankful to Tribe for bringing back the Lodge again!! As always, you do an incredible job with creating a fun and interactive game for all of us to let loose. Speaking of letting loose, you look a little uncomfortable in your tux, Tribeypoo, why don't you let me undo that bow tie, and loosen up your cummerbund? You look like you could use a nice, hot bath followed by a long, relaxing massage. Are you hungry? I'll heat up the grill and cook you a steak and make you a stiff cocktail. But first, I have a quick errand to run...

*steps up to the mic* Ohmygoshthisissocool....by the way I just noticed a fly.....oops but i got off the subject.....hey this is a cool stage....Sorry getting too random here. Anyway, I wrote a song for the occasion

Thank you fellow losers and Tribe for this honor

Sung to the tune of a pirate's life for me:

Yo ho yo ho the Loser Lodge is for me,

We flirt, we strip, we eat, we cuss and sometimes even guzzle, We play nekkid games, post R rated pics and might even solve a puzzle, Yo ho yo ho the Loser Lodge is for me.

Yo ho yo ho the Loser Lodge is for me, We sing and dance and do what Tribe says and wind up in debauchery, Where else on these boards, or in this world could you have so much fun for free? Yo ho yo ho the Loser lodge is for me.

Yo Ho yo ho the Loser lodge is for me, We’re toasters and roasters and wannabe boasters and we all think were really so hot, Tribe just takes it in stride and chuckles inside cause he knows for certain were NOT!

Yo ho yo ho the Loser Lodge is for me!

Yo ho yo ho The Loser Lodge is for me, I'd sing one more verse, but it would make the song worse, and for that I would really be sorryious, but try as I might, and try as I may, I just can't think up a rhyme for NEFARIOUS!!!!!!!!!! Yo Ho Yo ho the loser Lodge is for me.

I am so sorry that it's taken me so long to acknowledge your generosity, but as you'll see below, I've been a little busy with my most-likely-billionaireship.

So, the first thing that I want to say is how proud and happy I was that you thought that I was the most likely among us to attain that lofty goal (pile of money). I mean, for someone who in seventy years has never been within a country mile of a million, the thought that a billion might be just around the corner was pretty heady stuff. That and the rum.

And so I did what I usually do when the prospect of real money wafts tantalizingly by my window : I spent as much of it as I possibly could before I got it.

As you'll see, the shopping spree (it will take me years to pay back the family's frequent flyer miles) included the purchase of several Queen Elizabeth hats and purses (I know, I know).

But I love them and Her Majesty is having some sort of anniversary party and I really got caught up in the whole thing. So, I have these hats. And I have pictures of these hats.

And, as I always do at the slightest suggestion of a pending windfall, I phoned real estate agents until I found one whose credit reporting system was on the fritz (obviously) and we spent several merry old days wandering through some pretty amazing subdivisions. Far, far away. And I have some pictures of those, too.

Note: If you see anything that you like, I have the young man's name. But, I suggest that you not mention mine.

Anyway,

I'm back home now and I have to be honest: I'm beginning to worry that the directions that you surely meant to include with the Siggie Award have been lost in the PM. Because, I've read all the fine print on the back of the thing (I just love Tribe's little secret communiqués, don't you?) and there is absolutely nothing helpful to someone on a once-in-a-lifetime scavenger hunt.

I mean, surely there are directions. A cheat sheet. The address of the local House of Karma. Certainly you can't have thought that someone who has had as much time as I have had to actually earn a billion dollars would all of a sudden become - as my grandmother sometimes put it - broke out with work. Particularly that amount of work. Good Lord! Being wildly optimistic, I only have 20 or so years left. And I am slow, people. Really slow.

So, if any of you have any idea just how I'm supposed to live up to this new expectation - I thought expectations had gone the way of hot flashes and a waistline - please let me know.

In the meantime, here are the pictures. And some little shout-outs for all of you. Because all of you have made the Lodge a really welcoming and fun place this winter. So they're "Thank You(s)" of a sort. And there is also one for me. Because I think of myself as warm and fuzzy (or, at least, tepid and blurry), too.

And just a brief note about being this Season's Loser Lodge Winner:

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Usually CT and Abby and Cats let me play around near the top of the board until the last week of a game and then - swoop - I'm toast. But I actually won this time. Not by much. But enough.

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