“No. That’s not true. Leena did not dump me. It was I who left her...” the man says emphatically.

“Come on, Anil. Do you think I don’t know everything about you two?”

“You don’t. You know nothing. It was I who left her. I told you once – and I am telling you again! Leena did not dump me. I dumped her. I did not want to live with Leena – so I left her. Yes – it was I who dumped Leena.”

“Don’t fib...!”

“Fib...? Why should I fib...?”

“Masculine pride...!”

“Masculine pride...? What nonsense...!”

“When a man ditches a woman she gains sympathy – but when a woman dumps a man he becomes a laughing stock, a subject of ridicule.”

“So?”

“That’s why you ran away from Bangalore after spreading false stories all around that you were the one who had split up with her – when actually it was Leena who had dumped you unceremoniously,” the woman jeers loudly.

“Talk softly,” the man says.

“Why? You are afraid of the truth, is it?”

“I told you it is not true. We had our differences. And I wanted a change of job.”

“Anil – do you know why Leena dumped you? Because you are a bloody ‘loser’. A born loser!”

“Who told you that?”

“She did. I will never forget what Leena told me about you. Anil – do you want to hear Leena’s exact words? Listen carefully to what she said about you: ‘Anil is a born loser who is content to wallow in the gutter and see others climb mountains’. That’s why she left you. Leena was very ambitious. She wanted to go places – she wanted to have the best things in life. She did not want to ruin her life with you – she thought you are a man with no future – a namby-pamby who has no ambition, no drive. Leena told me that you were a namby-pamby good-for-nothing geek.”

“Namby-pamby? Good-for-nothing geek? She called me that?”

“That’s what she told me.”

“She told you? When? Where?”

“Last year. In Pune. During this same annual IT Seminar. She had flown down to Pune from the America. She even presented a paper – I’m sure it was plagiarized from something you had written – or from the notes you kept giving her about your work and research.”

“I am not interested!”

“Leena is real smart – a real scheming bitch. She mesmerizes you with her wily charms – uses you to get ahead – and then jettisons you – just throws you away when she’s got what she’s wanted. Like toilet paper!”

“You are calling me ‘Toilet Paper’?”

“Shall I use a better metaphor than toilet paper?” the woman starts giggling, and says, “She treated you like a bloody pad – a sanitary napkin! Use and throw – straight into the dustbin.”

“I still remember our Bangalore days when you used to grovel at her feet – your tongue drooling like a lapdog. And now look where she’s reached – she is the hot shot CEO of a top IT company while you wallow in your self-made misery as a ‘Nobody’ in some nondescript place.”

“Please, Nanda! Let’s go,” the man says, exasperated.

But the woman is in no mood to go – so she ignores him – and she continues talking loudly, “Leena is smart! She told me she’d managed to hook some NRI Head Honcho. He’s an American citizen too. Her life is made!”

“Maybe, she’ll use him and dump him too!” the man says sardonically.

“Hey! You have accepted it! You have accepted that she dumped you. I was right! That calls for a drink.”

“No. You have already had three big bottles of beer.”

“Who’s counting?” the woman says happily, lurching from her seat, “Okay. If I have had too much beer – now I’ll have whisky!”

The woman picks up the man’s whisky glass – drinks the whisky ‘bottoms up’ in one go – and she exclaims at the top of her voice: “Cheers! Down the hatch!”

1. This story is a spoof, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

About Me

A creative person with a zest for
life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated
at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School
Pune, Vikram has published two books:COCKTAILa collection of fiction short stories about relationships
(2011) andAPPETITE FOR A STROLLa
book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel, writing short fiction and compiling his memoirs. An avid
blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative
non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, books, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories, self help and art of living essays in magazines and journals and published a number of professional research papers and reviews and edited in-house magazines and journals for many years, before the advent
of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to
creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse -
his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative
thoughts.