I woke up ravenous this morning. So I head to the kitchen only to discover that my evil twin did the grocery shopping last week. My Fruit Loops had been replaced with Cheerios, my Pop-Tarts with rice cakes. I hate when that happens. Note to self; Don’t go grocery shopping the same day you discover that a third skirt won’t button because of the four-pounds you’ve gained since Christmas.

Okay. That’s a lie. I think I’ve now gained eight. I quit smoking in May. I just didn’t mention it in case I fell off the tobacco wagon. But on Aug. 6th, it’ll be 90 days (and four pounds) since my last cigarette.

So, I guess I’m just going to have to step up to the plate and start excersising vigorouslyjogging walking every day now and then. Obviously dancing in my chair while I work isn’t burning enough calories for my new non-smoking metabolism.

The good news is that garden is now supplying fresh (low-cal) veggies.

I don’t know how it happened, but we planted enough yellow squash to feed the entire county. Either the nursery mislabeled the plants, or we both grabbed them and didn’t take inventory. We may have to start hiding them in peoples cars when the stop to visit.

I’ve been sauteing them in olive oil with some fresh garlic and chopped onion, but after eating them nearly every day this week, Mr. Kewlstuff is starting to roll his eyes. If you have any good recipes, or know how I can hide it in other foods, I’d love to hear about it.

I listen to Canadian radio station 107.1 for their “Psychedelic Sundays.” They never disappoint.

This past Sunday I was backing up some files on my computer, not paying a whole lot of attention to the radio, when the music stopped me in my tracks. They were playing It Makes No Difference by The Band. I’m a huge fan of their music and have several of their tracks loaded on my Zen. How I missed this one is beyond me… it’s the kind of tune that makes you lean back in your chair, close your eyes and just listen.

So, I added it to my music library and transferred it to the flash drive I use with my docking station. Or so I thought. It never played. I checked the flash drive and sure enough, it’s listed, it just won’t play. Some poking around in my files and I realize that at least 1/3 of my library was downloaded in WMA format, but I never realized it because the Zen plays them all. This particular flash drive only recognizes MP3 format. And I have a boat load of this particular flash drive.

Crap. I have no way to convert them.

More research. At first it appeared that the only way to do it was to purchase a converter or subscribe to a service. But eventually, buried deep in the bowels of Google search, I found a solution; If you burn your tunes to a CD, then upload them back to your library, it converts them to MP3 format by default. And it does work. Pretty kewl, huh?

The last two months have been packed with parties, dinner dates, out-of-town relatives and local festivities.

I’ve had about all the merriment I can stand for one summer.

But I did learn a couple of things this weekend.

First, the red/green indicator on the Porta-Potty door is not a true indication of whether it’s occupied or not. To the dude I walked in on; you needn’t be embarrassed when next we meet. I won’t recognize your face.

Second, there’s a skank at every gathering. No need to mention names, you know who you are. Everything about you is inappropriate. Your dress, your conversation, your behavior. Everything.

You do know that the rest of us were placing bets on when your boobs are going to fall out of your shirt right? I realize that men appreciate a little cleavage, but I think they also like something to be left to the imagination. And golly, if we women wanted to see boobs, we could look at our own at anytime.

FYI, openly lusting after an eighteen year-old when you’re old enough to be his mother (come to think of it, you are older than his mother) is beyond inappropriate. Your SO showed a helluva lot of restraint. I don’t condone men hitting women for any reason, but, had he only asked, there were a number of women there that would have gladly taken care of that for him.

I hope you’re prepared to pay for the years of therapy that poor kid is going to need thanks to your advances. He hasn’t stopped gagging since.

Apparently I suck at blogging in the summer months. (Yeah. You’re right. It is quite possible that I suck at blogging year ’round.)

I even got up with the birds this morning, and there still aren’t enough hours in the day.

And in case you’re wondering, the birds got up at exactly five this morn. I know this because I have not one, but two antique clocks that chime on the hour. The birds began singing on the stroke of 5.

Not that they woke me up. Mr. Kewlstuff’s snoring did that at around 4:40. So when the birds started their racket at five I figured it was either 1. Get up or 2. Attempt to smother Mr. Kewlstuff with a pillow. Since I’ve attempted to smother him numerous times and failed, I felt option 1. would be less hassle all the way around.

So I’ll try and bring you up to speed.

The garden has tripled in size since I last posted. Mostly because it hasn’t stopped raining since the middle of June.

Believe it or not, a garden is a difficult thing to photograph. This is the best I could do…

This is only about a third of it, but at least you’ll have something to compare it to when I post the next picture.

Let’s see. We now have $600+ into one of the dogs eyes. She developed an ulcer on her right eye, no doubt because Mr. Kewlstuff lets her ride with her head hanging out the car window. (Correction. He used to let her ride with her head hanging out the car window.) We’re talking oral antibiotics twice a day and antibiotic drops in her eye every four hours for the last month. Personally, I think we could have gotten her a realistic glass eye for about half of that.

In the meantime my car puked out all it’s brake fluid. Naturally it couldn’t be anything as easy as a brake line. Turned out to be a part that no one, including the dealer, has ever seen before. Making it very expensive to replace. Because it’s rare.

I can say with certainty that I won’t have time to post again before the holiday, so I’m wishing you all a safe and happy 4th of July.

And Crotchety, if by chance you’re reading this, I hope you’re feeling better every day.

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Kewl Quote(s)

Only when the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realise we cannot eat money.

If we did all the things we were capable of doing,
We would literally astound ourselves. -- Thomas Alva Edison

We are made of all those that have built and broken us.

Marriage is finding that one special person you
can annoy for the rest of your life.

There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.

Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.