Sepp Blatter, the international dictator disguised as FIFA president, wrote a letter to…
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[Blatter] said someone attempted to bribe him when he was general secretary, a post he held until 1998, by putting an envelope containing cash into his jacket pocket. He declined to identify the person in an interview last week, and said the money was returned the next day.

"I couldn't refuse because he put it in my pocket," Blatter said, unbuttoning the golden buttons of his navy sports jacket to reveal a pocket. "I came here to the home of FIFA and gave it to the finance director and he put this money on the account of the Swiss Bank Corp."

At FIFA, everyone seems to have an envelope in a pocket, which is how it's "allegedly" been for years with Blatter at the wheel. We're now supposed to believe that a man who wouldn't immediately refuse a cash bribe is going to clean up the mess? That's about as easy to believe as the notion that Blatter getting chummy with Alimzhan ‘Alik' Tokhtakhounov in Moscow in 2005 was innocent coincidence (after the two were introduced by a FIFA executive committee member). It's not like Blatter could have known that Tokhtakhounov had been accused of bribing judges to fix the ice skating competition at the 2002 Winter Olympics and indicted in a federal court, right?