Guy French Kisses His Mom To Get Drugs In Jail

William Partridge, a 30-year-old inmate at New York’s Yates County Jail, had a conjugal visit of the creepiest kind, according to local police. They arrested his 54-year-old mother, Kimberly Margeson, for smuggling Oxycodone into the prison, which she allegedly “passed … from her mouth to her son’s mouth when she kissed him.”

This isn’t just breaking Guy Code; it’s breaking human code! Sure, give your sweet ol’ mom a peck on the cheek–but if you’re locking lips and swirling tongues, it’s time to call Dr. Freud. Besides, what kind of man turns his mother into a drug mule? And what kind of woman gives her son illegal painkillers like a mama bird feeding its young?

Anyway, Margeson–who’s free on $2,000 bail–pleaded not guilty. We’ll go ahead and take her at her word, ’cause then maybe we’ll be free of this horrific mental image…