Davey G. Johnson

Mike Austin once told us that he envies us because we can work pantsless if we want. (Note, we are currently wearing pants. Y'all can stop salivating. Or cowering. Whichever.) We envy Austin's access to junkets, expense accounts and the freshest iron. But the boy's got something cooking besides conning Alterman to letting him work sans trou — he's decided that it would be in his own best interests if GM would just kick the bucket already. Benefits? Shorter lunch lines, less traffic, less pollution, less speedtraps. The one downside? Zombies. Possibly lots of zombies.