Category Archives: Parenting

I have seen some very interesting quotes while on the web and thought to myself that I should share some of the ones that have made me smile even if just for a quick minute. Some of them are touching some are funny and some just make you search your soul. ENJOY! or don’t. But if you don’t. Work on yourself and try to find some inner peace.

Fellas this is man 101. I have said some of these in earlier post. This is what a woman wants, true love not games.

I hope and pray that this is my wifey and I. We are almost 40 and counting. And yes it is so true, you can not give up on love and marriage. It’s hard work and when some times it seems like it is broken, that’s when you have to work extra hard to fix it and not throw it away.

LADIES HOLLA. This is what I am talking about. Get in there and handle your business. Get yours!

I never claim to have all the answers or always to be correct. For this post I need your help because I can not reconcile how I feel. A couple of days ago I saw this sign and my brain locked up! I could not figure out how I was feeling. Was I angry, was I dumbfounded, did I agree, was I over-analysing. WTF was going on in my head over this seemingly simple sign. Is this statement Racist? Are they unfairly targeting minorities / African-Americans? Are they profiling? are they discriminating against our youth? Can they legally enforce this policy? Who died and made them the GOD of choice or good taste. The more I stared at the sign the angrier I became and the more confused I became. As you my savvy followers already know from my last post on this saggy / baggy pants issue and what I am trying to carry out with this site. That this is touchy for me. Go back and read that last post here https://breakitdownpete.wordpress.com/2011/08/05/baggy-pants-seriously/ and you will understand why I feel the way I feel about this sign. Well now it’s your turn to answer some of these questions that I am having such a hard time answering. Is it racist? First thing to consider. Do only minorities wear saggy pants or hoodies? My answer is NO. But then they had to throw in the DU-RAG. Now this I do tend to associate with minorities, specifically African-Americans. What say you? Next to consider, are they profiling? My answer is Yes. But Are they? Are they associating this style with the dangerous, the disruptive, the un-educated, the troublemaker? Or are they just stupid and over reacting to their customers who do not like this style? Did their customers even complain? or is this company jumping the gun anticipating this to be a problem with their customers. Are their customers racist? and aren’t the people who chose this style also their customers? after all this is a business geared towards the young. Should we now judge people by their taste and style of clothing? How about people who wear skinny jeans, wife beater tee shirts, piercings, tattoos etc.If you are wearing a hoodie are you a trouble maker or predator or are you just cold and this is a comfortable multi purpose sweater / jacket. If you wear a Du-rag are you a rapper, drug dealer? If you wear baggy / saggy pants are you a gang banger or a recently released convict? Maybe yes and maybe no to these questions. But should you be judged any more for your choice in clothing than say a woman is judged by her clothing when she is sexually attacked because of how she dresses. Or should we judge a wall street worker by the suit he wears and assume he is good and financially secure when in reality maybe he is a financial phony deep in debt, a schemer running a Ponzi scheme, or a wife abuser, cocaine addict. So what is this sign really saying? Is it saying we don’t want your kind, your trouble making kind, your minority kind, your black kind…. Am I completely wrong on this one? Am I over reacting? I just feel so strong that we need to educate our youth and guide them, not minimise and push them away.

Like this:

My heart has been forever wounded by the senseless killings at Newtown CT how is this kind of evil even possible? Where did this life go wrong for that 20-year-old murderer. I will NEVER speak his name. And let’s make one thing crystal clear he is not a troubled child, nor is he mentally challenged, what he is. Is a MURDERER an evil sadistic cold-blooded MURDERER of the innocent. And a 100% COWARD! A pure punk ass fucking COWARD. If he is not then he goes out fighting, guns a blazing. but instead like everybody who commits suicide he is a COWARD who can not fight to make his life better instead takes the easy way out like a pure bitch! This is my heart talking out of pure PAIN and GRIEF out of my natural instinct to attack, to fight, to want to protect the defenseless. Now I have to step back and compose myself and speak without emotion. To be rational, to be positive or his evil will have won. He will have done what he wanted. To be remembered, to be somebody, to have made an impact on our lives. He will NOT! I will not care to ever think about him again. I will not ever give a shit about his life. He does not exist. Fuck him! Let’s speak of the innocent children and the amazing teachers and workers who give of themselves so that they can mold and educate our young. Lets get a national discourse on keeping families whole, on loving our children and not abusing them, on keeping our marriages strong and intact, on giving opportunities and educating our youth to be better to believe in themselves, to want to have the great life that they all can have. Fuck what is so hard about being a good man, a decent man. A good woman, a good mother. What is so hard about taking on the responsibility of caring, nurturing our children, loving our wives, our husbands. Damn it somebody talk to me! Lets get our heads out of our asses. Some one smarter than me needs to help me understand how this life went so wrong. Was a broken household a contributing factor? Was an un-attentive mother or father a factor? Was a lack of discipline or too much discipline a factor? Was there no positive example in his life a factor? Was their abuse in this household. Did anybody ever hug this kid? Or is this kid just pure EVIL? O-yea one last thing. Wait for it, any day now it will come out that he had some sort of A.D.D. or some sort of shit like that and nobody helped him so we need to feel sorry for him and try to understand. If this is so then we should hold his father responsible for not handling him before he MURDERED 26 beautiful lives. And destroyed countless families.

WARNING! THIS VIDEO IS DISTURBING, HEART BREAKING, SAD, GRAPHIC. I am almost speechless, I have a few questions? How does this happen? Why is this not breaking news? Why is there not a national outrage about this video, Why aren’t the parents under arrest? Just simply W.T.F. is going on in life that this is the outcome. There is so much conversation within this video. Please look past the color of the children, this is going on in every group of people. The question is how do we stop it! How do we educate against this. My God this is a child! doing this to babies! What kind of abuse must he be getting at home? This has to be a learned action. I can’t believe he is just pure evil. It must be a product of his environment? I have to stop now, I will update more when I control my anger. UPDATE: THE VIDEO IS BACK UP AND ACTION IS BEING TAKEN!!! THANK YOU ALL!!! Why am I so crazy over this? It’s because these are the types of kids i want to touch with my words. Just imagine if this kid grows up to be a 6ft.5 / 280lb. man. what type of pain he will infict on his wife and kids if he does not get help now while he is still young.

Well speak up! Am I a bully? No hell NO, what I am is the SENSEI OF COMMON SENSE(tm) THE MAYOR OF REAL VILLE. If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck you can put lipstick and a tutu on it and call it a swan if you want but the truth is that it’s a duck. What made me ask if I am a bully is a few comments and emails that made me think that I might be coming off a kind of bully. And that upsets me because that is the last impression that I want to put out. So I am going to step back and let you answer the question. Here is just one of the comments and my reply that made me ask the question. It is from my https://breakitdownpete.wordpress.com/2011/09/18/auto-salesman-exposed/ post.

So am I a bully or just a super genius, Am I a bully or the most interesting man in the world, (stay thirsty my friends) Am I a bully or just hot like Magic Mike, Am I a bully or just delusional!

anonymous Comment

dude you guys act like auto salespeople are making a million dollars a year….we are just trying to make a living to feed our families…… We work long hours 12 hours a day 3 days a week 10 hrs a day the other days, never 2 days in a row off and people talk to us like trash….we have a lot of people waste our time……so we do deserve to make a little money because in essence we are working 1 full time job and 1 part time job…..whatever you do for a living you have to make profit to stay in business and feed your family……WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING? And if we don’t make a profit the dealership will shut down like dealers that were in business for over 100 hundred years that closed down…now those local customers can drive all the way accross town to service their cars, because they wanted to beat their local dealer up for a few hundred dollars, I think they shot themselves in the foot……ALL BUSINESSES HAVE TO MAKE A PROFIT…..SO IF ANY BUSINESS MAKES A PROFIT THAT MUST BE A CRIME…….SINCE YOU ARE SO INCONSIDERATE AND HAVE A MOUTH THAT SOMEONE TOOK A CRAP IN, DO YOU KISS YOUR MOTHER WITH THAT MOUTH AND MAYBE I SHOULD TRY TO BUST EVERYONE I EVER TALK TO FOR A BETTER DEAL……OR DO I ALLOW A MAN TO MAKE A FAIR PROFIT……

BIDPETE Reply

Hell Yea! This is what I am talking about people. GREAT comment! You make some really great points and intelligently articulated them until your meds wore off and then you got all personal and shit with the mother thing. But I got nothing but love for you. I really hope you do not stay Anonymous because I would love it if you became a regular contributor. If you read more of my post and the comments on them from my regular readers you will see that I am on your side it is for hard-working family people like yourself that I write for. (I say people because I don’t even know if you are a man or woman) When you read my site in totality including my about page you will see that I have a serious message that I wrap around with some colorful language just to keep the site fresh and entertaining. Read my WHAT YOU THINK YOU ARE A MAN or FATHER IS WHAT I AM or ANOTHER BITCH ASS MAN or BAGGY PANTS SERIOUSLY STILL. Now to answer your question I am a fleet manager, I am a class A certified diesel mechanic with 40 years working experience so yes I can speak on this subject because I have also worked the 60 hrs. A week you talk about most of it during the grave yard shift! I am also a republican, so yes I believe in business making a profit. And dealerships are closing for many reasons like POOR customer service, Mismanagement, poor inventory strategies, manufacture recalls and so on. Not just because I was well prepared and made the best well-informed and educated deal on my last car. And did not fall for the $250.00 stain protection treatment that was just a can of spray that I could buy myself for $30.00 dollars or the $800.00 security alarm that you just had the local alarm installer do for you for $150.00. Please return and join in on making a difference. Or stay Anonymous whining and bitter. Your choice? Peace!

Give me a minute. I think I just threw up in my mouth! I will definitely need therapy after this video. Like a jury trial only needs a small seed of doubt to be implanted so they can come back with a not guilty verdict. Case in point O.J. SIMPSON. This video has irrevocably harmed my life. Believe it or don’t believe it if you see it you also will throw up in your mouth! Ok a bit dramatic I know, I know. So let me pull up my cartoon inspired huggies and get to the point. Some dope ass scientist has figured out that we are all at least a 50th cousin! So that sweet ass you been tappin – yea you got it, it’s your COUSIN!!! Holy shit batman. No wonder everybody keeps telling my wife and I that we look soooo much alike. Some think we are related before they find out we are married. No wonder we finish each others sentences. Were COUSINS!!! We will never have sex again! Wait I must have fallen and hit my head. I meant we will never have sex with the lights on again!! Ok I’m back, I hade to go and change my huggies again from laughing till I pead myself. I’m just being silly having some fun. But this video is Creepy. So check it out and tell me what you think. Disclaimer: It will mess with your head. So think about it before clicking play!

Like this:

In honor of FATHERS day I want to repost the letter I wrote to my first-born daughter way back in the 70″s. Some thing magical happened when I first held her in my arms. I can not explain it. I don’t know what happened but that 18-year-old boy from the south Bronx was changed for ever. I was shaking and emotional. She was the most AMAZING and BEAUTIFUL thing I had ever seen. I can still smell her. I can’t explain how great that baby smell is if you have never had a child but trust me it is wonderous! And you will NEVER forget it. I remember staring at her for hours and then I felt myself tingling and knowing that I was changing some how I can’t explain it, I just knew something was happening. I held her close to me so I could whisper in her ear and that’s when I told her. “I DEDICATE MY LIFE TO YOU.” And so began my journey to becoming a FATHER. And over the next couple of years I came to understand what being a father was and i put a pen to paper and this is the letter I wrote.

Father… What is a father? For me it is who I am, what I am, what I want to be, what I need to be. It is the responsibility I live for. I will not apologize for being a father, for being the adult when the situation calls for it. I will make the decision I belive is the right one as your father, not as your friend. I will love you unconditionally. I will protect you till my last breath. I will respect you and demand you respect me. I will financially support you. I will emotionally encourage you to dream to believe in the greatness that is inside you. I will push you to be the best you can be, what you want to be , not who I want or think you should be. I will accept your individuality, your life style choices, I will never judge you. I will just love and support you. I will educate you-not because I am more intelligent than you, but because I am more experienced than you, because I have already made the mistakes and learned from them and I want to share them with you to help you avoid repeating them. This I swear to you! This I promise! I dedicated my life to you the day you were born. You will always be my first and only priority. I will never raise my hand to you. I will never abandon you. Because I AM A FATHER.

If you are a young man thinking about becoming a FATHER or already are a FATHER I encourage you to read my letter a few times and see if any of it can help you in your journey into FATHERHOOD. I do not claim it to be anything other than how I feel so please don’t take it as me preaching or saying that this is definitive. I just know that this is how I have lived my life. I have accomplished much in my life. From becoming a u.s.marine, to staying married for almost 40 years, to my many career accomplishments but nothing even comes close to being a good FATHER!

Holly shit! So where do I begin? Do I start with the self-righteous, turn the other cheek, make love not war, give your kid a time out, little Billy, little Jamal, little Pablo, Little Hassan or who ever! did not mean it, he is just playing; excuse making pansies of the world. Or do I go after the hate mongering, dumb ass, punk ass Coward ass Bullies of the world. Or should I go after the author of this great post who in her wonderfully, colorful way made some incredible points that became secondary to all the back and forth slighting’s on the comments because she just let her emotions cloud her incredible post! It started like this; She writes a great post on how we still make excuses for bullies and how we cloud the thought process of those who are being bullied. And her points are spot on! Then come the comments and some of them attack her for her use of colorful words and that ignites the emotions of other commentors and quickly sides are chosen, the point of the post is ignored, the bitches sharpen their nails and the punks start swinging their dicks. Now the author who has been viciously attacked told to die, told that her daughter should be abused. Lets her emotions get the best of her, reaches down to make sure she still has her balls and let’s go of a scalding new post directed at her readers. And now who remembers the point of the post? I DO! and that is why I won’t choose sides and get at anybody. Because I am focused on the points of the post! Please read it and think about the points! The post is amazing. And read some of the thousand or so comments and have a good laugh at the childishness! (Well some of it is not so childish but actually disturbing). But go back and get the true lessons of the post!!!! And her follow-up post, I think there are 3 or 4 by now. As always my readers get ME and know that I can swing with the best of them. So let me know whats up!! Come get some!

You Didn’t Thank Me For Punching You in the Face

On a somewhat serious note today because of a conversation the other day:

I am sure every girl can recall, at least once as a child, coming home and telling their parents, uncle, aunt or grandparent about a boy who had pulled her hair, hit her, teased her, pushed her or committed some other playground crime. I will bet money that most of those, if not all, will tell you that they were told “Oh, that just means he likes you”. I never really thought much about it before having a daughter of my own. I find it appalling that this line of bullshit is still being fed to young children. Look, if you want to tell your child that being verbally and/or physically abused is an acceptable sign of affection, i urge you to rethink your parenting strategy. If you try and feed MY daughter that crap, you better bring protective gear because I am going to shower you with the brand of “affection” you are endorsing.

When the fuck was it decided that we should start teaching our daughters to accept being belittled, disrespected and abused as endearing treatment? And we have the audacity to wonder why women stay in abusive relationships? How did society become so oblivious to the fact that we were conditioning our daughters to endure abusive treatment, much less view it as romantic overtures? Is this where the phrase “hitting on girls” comes from? Well, here is a tip: Save the “it’s so cute when he gets hateful/physical with her because it means he loves her” asshattery for your own kids, not mine. While you’re at it, keep them away from my kids until you decide to teach them respect and boundaries.

My daughter is `10 years old and has come home on more than one occasion recounting an incident at school in which she was teased or harassed by a male classmate. There has been several times when someone that she was retelling the story to responded with the old, “that just means he likes you” line. Wrong. I want my daughter to know that being disrespected is NEVER acceptable. I want my daughter to know that if someone likes her and respects her, much less LOVES her, they don’t hurt her and they don’t put her down. I want my daughter to know that the boy called her ugly or pushed her or pulled her hair didn’t do it because he admires her, it is because he is a little asshole and assholes are an occurrence of society that will have to be dealt with for the rest of her life. I want my daughter to know how to deal with assholes she will encounter throughout her life. For now, I want my daughter to know that if someone is verbally harassing her, she should tell the teacher and if the teacher does nothing, she should tell me. If someone physically touches her, tell the teacher then, if it continues, to yell, “STOP TOUCHING/PUNCHING/PUSHING ME” in the middle of class or the hallway, then tell me. Last year, one little boy stole her silly bandz from her. He just grabbed her and yanked a handful of them off of her wrist. When I went to the school to address the incident, the teacher smiled and explained it away to her, in front of me, “he probably has a crush on you”. Okay, the boy walked up to my daughter, grabbed and held her by the arm and forcibly removed her bracelets from her as she struggled and you want to convince her that she should be flattered? Fuck off. I am going to punch you in the face but I hope you realize it is just my way of thanking you for the great advice you gave my daughter. If these same advice givers’ sons came home crying because another male classmate was pushing them, pulling their hair, hitting them or calling them names, I would bet dollars to donuts they would tell him to defend themselves and kick the kid’s ass, if necessary. They sure as shit wouldn’t say, “he probably just wants a play date”.

I will teach my daughter to accept nothing less than respect. Anyone who hurts her physically or emotionally doesn’t deserve her respect, friendship or love. I will teach my boys the same thing as well as the fact that hitting on girls doesn’t involve hitting girls. I can’t teach my daughter to respect herself if I am teaching her that no one else has to respect her. I can’t raise sons that respect women, if I teach them that bullying is a valid expression of affection.

The next time that someone offers up that little “secret” to my daughter, I am going to slap the person across the face and yell, “I LOVE YOU”.

Bottom line: I could STOP writing now and be extremely satisfied. Because if you are a young person or some one depressed, lost, lonely, in a great marriage, poor marriage or what ever! You can simply go to any of these sites and laugh or cry or rant or smile or get professional advice or join the crazy chicks club or get your ass handed to you if you mess with Linda or Greyson jack or laugh at those Stoopid Housewives. This is some crazy shit, I wrote all this crazy dribble because i was moved by some of the comments on my (Because You Are Bitch) post and i wanted to share some of them with you. So here they are. Hope you enjoy them. And if you do enjoy this site, Then please pass it along, promote it and lets see if we together can help someone out there who needs a shoulder from some friends to lean on!

Abuse, abusive relationships… It’s so easy to dish out advice unless you are living it or have lived it.
It’s never as simple as “get up and get out” if only…
Anyway Im not in the mood to say anymore… Subject is too close to home for me… Another time maybe…
But stop saying get out… Coz do u know anyone that got out coz he/she was told to… No never… They don’t … They can’t… It takes more than that… A lot more… A helluva lot more…

AWESOME! Thank you. Please, Please, Please i only replied so seriously because i felt your pain and anger and i did not want to be responsible for causing it. I wanted you to know that i do not take the subject lightly. That it’s probably nearest to my heart and this is why the blog exist to bring awareness to it and to find people like yourself to offer opinions and life experiences and maybe some one can be helped. I really enjoy your blog it shows how creative and artistic you are. Please join me and contribute your voice to any conversation that we have here. It’s not all gloomy we have some fun also.

Honey, he just wants to see people living happy and not abused. He’s not being judgmental, he intents to convey his frustration (I think) as to how horrible it all really is and it’s (as you know) all over, It’s so sad, it’s horrible. I was in an abusive relationship when I was younger, 21 through about 23 years old and I left. I understand that it’s difficult to leave these situations, and I understand how difficult it may be to support a person who is in one.

Honey, I wish I had the magic words to get through to a person who is involved in these types of relationships to make them leave. This is what Pete is kinda saying too. (sorry Pete not trying to speak for you) This is a very sentitive topic. I like his strong stand on it because I’ve been there and it’s unacceptable. It’s not okay … Come’er honey (((( HUGS ))))

You made some very good points in this post, one thing I appreciated was that you acknowledged leaving is easier said than done. Surprisingly society in general is not very understanding or compassionate towards the victim, especially if the victim goes back. .

I used to think I would never allow any man to abuse me; because I had never been there I didn’t understand why “women” didn’t just leave. What people don’t realize is that (as you said) the abuse starts small, it can be subtle and insidious. By the time the victim even realizes they are in danger they have lost so much of their independence and their support system that they feel helpless.

People may mistakenly believe it is dependent needy women with low self esteem that get sucked into the web of the abuser. But often it is the exact opposite, the independent woman presents a challenge and the abuser has to be very cunning and devious to ensure they control the victim.

If the victim does leave the abuser will try anything, say anything to get them back, they will apologize, admit they were wrong, promise counseling, threaten, cry, and become the sweet passive guy they were in the beginning.

I cover the signs and types of abuse in my blog in-depth, because at 43 I got involved in an abusive relationship and I, like you want to shake people, scream, make them understand that it is a very complex problem. Just leave can be dangerous advice and “tough love” or withdrawing support because the person went back can put the person’s life in jeopardy .

I had never been abused before, I was a strong independent woman and I stayed/went back for 10 yrs. The abuse got so bad I would probably be dead now if I would have stayed. By the time I left I had no support from my family and was too embarrassed to ask for help from my friends.

The abuse was subtle, there were no black eyes, but he had managed to get me fired, evicted, destroyed my business, sabotaged my vehicle, alienated me from my family so I had NO support system, (my mother and step dad gave him exactly what he wanted` me with nowhere to go), he spied on me, video taped me without my knowledge, broke my phone and.laptop and destroyed any thing of sentimental value to me. I can not explain how twisted this man was or how absolutely mentally and emotionally beaten down I was.

I had given up trying to defend my boundaries, values and feelings in an attempt to find peace because it was just too much work. I credit his sister with saving my life, she came to live with us and she was my staunch advocate, time and time again she reaffirmed I wasn’t crazy, she was my second pair of eyes that confirmed it wasn’t my imagination, she was the voice of reason when he was telling me I was insane and paranoid.
I have been out for 11 months and I am nowhere near healed, the emotional and mental scars go so deep, they haunt my dreams still. Just this week I woke up crying because I had dreamed he was laughing while I cried.
(((((((Aneesa)))))) hugs to you! I feel your pain and understand your frustration, and MC you are such a special person, so kind and wise.
BidPete thank you for speaking out about a very serious problem and sharing your experiences. My son was out of the house when I was involved with this man but he did live with me for a period of time and he tried to defend me and it put him in danger. I didn”t tell him what was happening when I went back because I was afraid he’d either kill the guy or get killed trying. It is a horrible thing for a child to endure, especially a boy. The hatred my son has for the guy is scary.

Please be prepared, This video is very hard to watch, it involves a vicious whipping of a 16-year-old girl.

Son of a bitch I am so full of rage and anger. I am shaking and nauseous. Once again a bitch of a man who is nothing more than a punk ass predator and abuser takes advantage of a weaker and smaller person who can not defend herself against his mental and physical abuse. Here is a man who is a father only by sperm. No real man, No real father would ever discipline his child with such force let alone abuse them like this. And spare me your attempts to justify his actions by saying shit like, maybe he is not educated or is having a tough life financially or has a drug and alcohol problem or what ever other excuses your feeble pathetic mind can think of. Fuck you if you see this video and you try to justify it in any way. Because this is a well to do JUDGE! And his name is WILLIAM ADAMS a county court-at-law judge from Texas. Understand that not only is his daughter 16 years old but she also suffers from cerebral palsy and this beating is not because she is pregnant, or a serial killer, or set the house on fire NO, it is because she down loaded music when she was told not to. Holy shit what the fuck is wrong with this world. My first problem is his statement below. How pathetic!

In an interview with a local news affiliate, Judge Adams responded to questions about the video and the claims of his wife and daughter.

“In my mind, I haven’t done anything wrong other than discipline my child after she was caught stealing,’’ he said. “I did lose my temper, but I have since apologized. It looks worse than it is. There is a story. It will come out in due time.’’