Thursday, January 24, 2008

So I've moved into Milky's house to take care of it and Famous Seamus for a week.He's a lovable mutt (Seamus, not Milky -- okay, Milky too) but what a neurotic suck (Seamus, not Milky). He danged well KNOWS that Milky and The Lovely Sue were making a getaway when they left with suitcases at about 4:30 this morning. He cried and whined for about an hour, before falling asleep on the bed next to me. Then the rest of the day until I left for work, he just moped around all depressed. He wouldn't play with me and his ball, the tennis ball that he always drops at my feet until I throw it or kick it, soaking my socks on the doggie drool.

I'm sure he'll feet better as the week wears on. Milky already e-mailed to ask how Seamus is doing, and I told a little white lie, that we're getting along famously. Actually, we are, it's just that Seamus isn't his friendly old self.

Some people around me find irony in the fact that I had to hire Phil's Cat-Sitting Service (the kid who lives in the apartment above mine) to take care of Coffee while I'm taking care of Seamus.

By the way, big thanks to Milky's neighbour Yves for pitching in, and stopping by to see Seamus while I'm at work. You see, he's not used to being left alone for any more than four or five hours at a time. I'm often away for eleven hours or more.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

So I'm trying to clean out my extra bedroom and part with an accumulation of junk from the past 20 years or so (next project: same thing in overpacked storage locker), and look what I found. N@ wrote me this letter in 1990, when she was a wee lass working part-time at the same radio station where I was news director, and had just announced my departure for TV.

First, the front of the envelope. Note the return address and the 39-cent stamp.

Now, the artwork on the back of the envelope.

And, the pièce de résistance, the letter.

The "Ronnie m'boy" reference is to the time I memo'd young Natalie (yeah, snail mail and memos -- this was 1990, after all) for coming off a BN newscast one night by thanking the newscaster by saying "Thanks, Ronnie m'boy".

I'm not sure whether I'll keep this. It could be a collector's item some day.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

"Aw Jeez, not that crazy old guy and his cat again."Hey, it's my blog, so get used to it!This picture of Coffee The Prettiest Cat EVER was taken in my en suite bathroom. She is sitting on the corner of the bathtub, right up against the shower stall. It, by the way, is the largest walk-in shower I have ever seen.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

I'm not sure if there's any connection to Kitty's recent post about ghosts, but I had a strange experience yesterday.

There was a guy I knew in college. We weren't exactly close friends, because I thought he was a bit of a horse's ass -- which is saying something for broadcasting students!

I did, however, feel badly when I heard a few years after college that he had cancer. His brother played in the NHL and he himself was a Molson rep (so much for the two-year broadcasting diploma, eh?) and Hockey Night in Canada even did a feature on his battle with cancer. I could have sworn that I heard that he had died, but then yesterday, up he pops on my Facebook page, looking for me to be his friend. I accepted, but haven't sent him any messages yet.

Friday, January 11, 2008

I'm really starting to believe that the building where I work is cursed.

You might remember my Christmas Eve post, recounting how one of our receptionists had been killed in a car accident on her way to work that morning. A week or so before that, another woman in our building was in a car accident that broke her back and hip; a co-worker's elderly mother fell and messed up one of her two replacement hips; and another co-worker's elderly mother and brother had a fire in their townhouse, and are still in hospital recovering.

Within the past week, another co-worker's elderly mother contracted pneumonia and was put into an induced coma to give her heart and respiratory system a rest from the titanic struggle they were going through. And then on Tuesday, yet another co-worker got a call from his homeland of Estonia, reporting the death of his father.

Some of us are ready to call in an exorcist or an aboriginal shaman to purify our building.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

There's an online dictionary that I check almost every day, for its Word of the Day, or for the definition of any word I need. (Okay, so I'm a word nerd. Get over it. I have.)Anyway, the word has not been changed in the last couple of weeks. It appears to be stuck on this:

Friday, January 04, 2008

I took this last week at the cottage. It's a close-up of the stairs leading up to the deck at the front of the cottage. Kinda looks like a white Christmas tree, doesn't it? I took some other pics that I might share with you. It's especially beautiful there in the winter when it's sunny, which it wasn't when my Dad and I plowed through waist-high snow to get to the cottage, about 100 ft. from the road. Of course, the next day was beautiful and bright!

Thanks to my buddy Chris for this -- kinda "The Men Commandments". Corn and Maria's Hubby would probably agree with my suggestion to add to #2 with "When she dings your car".

The International Council of Manlaws, Ltd.

1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2. It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances: (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master. (b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse. (c) After wrecking your boss's car. (d) When she is using her teeth.

3. Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.

8. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10. You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

11. It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... And it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.

12. Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15. If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

19. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

21. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights: A) Yeah, Baby, Push it! B) C'mon, give me one more! Harder! C) Another set and we can hit the showers!

22. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing (I.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc.). For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

24. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.

25. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

26. Thou shalt not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

27. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

28. There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.

29. We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:

"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with The guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, And having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"

"BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next!"

We hope this clears up any confusion, The International Council of Manlaws, Ltd.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Picture this: I go out to get supper last night, and right in front of the building in which I work, a homeless panhandler wishes me happy new year. But to do it, he has to interrupt his cell phone conversation!!! WTF, people!

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Got home shortly after midnight last night, thanks to a flight delay in Toronto and having to wait on the ground in Ottawa while another plane was moved away from our gate. Same thing happened when I came home from Dubai. Are there not enough gates at Ottawa International, or just a bunch of dunderheads assigning planes to them?Then I was up early this morning, in order to do my weekly gig at the Royal Ottawa Hospital, where I volunteer in the café (think Tim Hortons without the drive-thru or apple fritters). So by the time I get off work in eight more hours, it will have been a long first day at work for 2008.Coffee Cat was very happy to see her daddy last night. She ran around the apartment, jumped on and off the bed, and was even more lovable than ever.So, what's new with me? Not much, other than Little Bro Dan and The Pretty Fiancée have decided that their wedding will be in April 2009, probably in the Bahamas. So knowing that, I'm going to book a one-week vacation somewhere in the Caribbean this April.