Monday, January 4, 2010

Good Enough isn't Good Enough

You know, I kinda had a 'plan' in my head for how this consecrating stuff would go. I figured that God would nudge me on the 'small' things first (you know, maybe He'd call me to stop using curse words), and by later in the year (maybe next fall) we'd have worked our way to some 'big' things (such as anger). Has anyone else noticed that God always seems to have plans of His own?

Friday evening Pat and I went on a date. Our dinner conversation revolved around the kids and our parenting methods. We're finding that the honeymoon phase is over, and they're all showing signs of stress from all the life change. When children are experiencing stress in their lives that they don't understand and can't really verbalize, they blow off steam the only way they know how - acting out (or is it acting up?). Our two weeks of school holidays have been filled with bickering and tears (both theirs and mine), time outs (again, for them and me), and an overall sense of frustration.

Sunday's sermon was all about parenting - how to pass on a legacy of loving God. One of the things he mentioned was that our actions will influence the way our kids see God and think about Him. He also spoke about trying times as a parent, and how we can get so caught up in trying to 'fix' whatever is going on with our kids that we fail to ask ourselves the most important question, "What is God trying to teach me about myself in this moment?"

This morning, these words from James shouted at me from the page... My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. (James 1:19-20)

Oh, and to top off all those little hints coming my way, I've had a sick child for three days (we're onto day 4 now). Which means there is a Mommy in this house who is VERY short on sleep (read: short on temper) and a boy-child in this house who is surely dying (read: big, whiny baby...just like a male; also read: trying Mommy's patience in a big way). So right out of the gate I'm getting some practical experience moments. I'd have to say that, so far, I'm at about a 50/50 pass/fail rate.

Sometimes I wonder why I keep on asking God to do the radical in my life! I mean, I'd really be okay if He just did the semi-radical. I'd still grow, I'd still change, it would be good. And not so dang hard! Yet there's this drive in me that cannot be content to settle for 'good enough.' I don't want to be a good enough mom or a good enough Christian. I want to be the best I can be. I want my kids to see my active pursuit of righteousness and desire that same thing in their lives. I want the world to see me and say, "Wow, that Tyler girl sure does love her Jesus!" I want GREAT; good enough simply won't do.

4 comments:

Remember the part of the sermon where we were supposed to ask the kids what they thought their parents passions were? Well my kids said my passion was vitamins and their dad's was P90X! What are they looking at? People (or our kids) will see what they want to or only what God shows them.

Sometimes I, too, feel like "Why am I even trying to do better and be better?" because I sometimes get stuck in a rut where I feel like I'm still the same old person with the same old sins. But when I take the time to look back at who I was 3-4 years ago, I am simply stunned at how far God has brought me. I still have a long journey, but it's the journey itself that gets us where we're supposed to be. :) (The same thing applies to our financial journey: every time I get frustrated by how tight things are and all our debt, I just look back at all the debt God has helped us to pay off, and how he has ALWAYS provided our needs and MANY of our wants.)

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God says, "These things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, these things will sure come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day! ~ Habakkuk 2:3 (LB)