Until You Forget

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Racing Through Myself the City

I've walked Grand Canyons of mindThrough the narrowing cracksOf building opinion, suddenly turning to findMyself on the attackWith the growing rageOf my own silent minions-I've struggled to be freeAnd keep my captors in the harness,Faced the firing squads of fearIn a tuxedo cut from my darkness,Searched the alleys and cansFor a single dreamOf somethingI felt compelled to call pretty,Smoked the dying cigarette of a last manWho tried with shaking mechanical handsTo show me the plan of the self in the city-I ate the food my brothers laced with poison served meAnd spent forevers washing downTheir golden silt goblets to achieveA river of green forgiveness-I've wailed oceans and sank their bottoms,Survived only silently through treading determinationTill life arrived to preserve me-Been stabbed again and again againYou manipulated, manipulating bastard of a bastard-Who treated you like a bastard-You made it hard to love you.I've knocked over more plates than I've eaten,Taken the food from a baby of innocenceAnd thrown it to a sewer of deceptionFor the vultures to pick atAnd watch it grow and pick again.I've chained my thoughts to a rockAnd thrown food to my agonyTo feast my desireTo tear my wanting limb from limbTo burn my soul over coals of cold despairFor eternities of mind,Of pain, of aching brain,I've lain across tracks of truth to break that chain,Got bored then ran to start the engine again.I've lusted my way into holesI wouldn't care to mention,Lost myself in warm ecstasies under honey-running volcanoes,Made love in the pure fire blinding white union,Had sex somewhere between the sheets of a lover,Been afraid to love or hate or masturbate,Share my soul or smoke a bowlWith a strangerWho's maybe more deranger than me.I've slipped on the marbles of insanity,Got stuck on a one-stop lost rock block of thoughtThat lasted for days then weeks and yearsOf teenage fears and endless beersAnd LSD highs high on the mountaintopsOver drops and drops of cops and gunsAnd midnight runs to stores for more-I'm known by every owner of a liquor storeFor miles and days in the dirty ashtray haze of Sacramento-Poor Indian bums guttered in the street nearbyMake you wanna stop for a beer and cryBut no time to waste in the chaseOf cars and bars and happy-hour starsAll pressed against the backsideOf the Church of the Blessed Union,Next to the American RiverOr maybe even in it-But let us not hope this is the end and begin itBefore the sun of this muse and the strength of this spiritBegins to drain down to its very last minute,Let us not oversight before the vision has setThat this one road traveled is the only road we get-That minding this body on rocking through HellPrepares Heaven eyes for seeing it well.

Peace

About Me

I am a creative writer and musician residing primarily in Sacramento, CA. In addition to my book "Fourteen Months" and my poetry e-book I have several books of poetry and 2 albums for sale cheap! I am also in the beginning phases of making framed "Poegraphs" such as the ones you see on this blog. Please contact me at maxwestarts@gmail.com if you're interested. Thanks for stopping by.