-Disclaimer-: I do not claim ownership of any represented main characters, Johnny's Entertainment, or any other officially affiliated party; only the plot is to my credit. This fictional account is in no way a credible indicator of the sexual orientations of the protagonists and is intended to offend neither homosexual, bisexual, and heterosexual individuals or groups. Additionally, the personalities and traits of the characters may not be a precise representation of their real identities.

-note: I will be using the first person so as to become "Takaki Yuya" to better express the plot of the story.

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Chapter One: The Smile
Theme Song: Lost Heaven – L'Arc-en-Ciel

January 1999
The Louvre Museum
Paris, France

"Yuya-chan."

"Mh? Kaa-chan..."

"Do you know who she is?"

Mom bent down to whisper in my ear.

"Mona Lisa."

"Why is she smiling?" I asked

"Is she smiling to you?"

I nodded. Not a lot, but she was smiling. Smiling.

"Good, Yuya-chan."

"Why?"

"When Tou-chan and I look at Mona Lisa, we don't know what she's doing."

"But she's obviously smiling, Kaa-chan!"

She only smiled and walked over to where my older sister and dad were standing. I could hear a little bit of what she was saying to my sister.

"Kaoru, you think Mona Lisa is frowning?"

My sister nodded roughly. Dad ruffled her hair teasingly.

"That age, you know..."

Mom smiled knowingly and stepped next to Dad.

"Yuya thinks she's smiling. Interesting how she reflects the viewer's own mentality, no? If you're happy, she looks happy, if you're sad, she looks sad..." Dad agreed. "Mona Lisa, she's like every man's true love and every woman's most intimate friend."

I glanced over to the painting once more while holding on tight to Mom's hand.

I grabbed a bottle of the soda and was about to head up to the cash register in the little convenience store when I saw...

GIRLS.

OH MAN NO! In their middle school uniforms with their ever-short skirts and loads of mascara and makeup and lip gloss and blush...Oh god.

I quickly slipped behind the back wall, breathing fast. I didn't want to get caught today. Just not today. Please, just not today!

My name is Takaki Yuya. I'm 18 going on 19 this year; I'm the 2nd oldest member of the newest idol group from Johnny's Entertainment, Hey! Say! JUMP. And I am currently trying desperately to look like a soda shelf since I don't want to get noticed by the potential fangirls that just popped in the door. Scratch that. They ARE fangirls. They're squealing over the magazines RIGHT NOW. God help me. But maybe if I sneak behind this stand I can get my beautiful melon Ramune and get the hell out of here. This is my only hope.

I put on my sunglasses...wait, why are they red with rhinestones in them?! Don't tell me I grabbed my sister's old shades...Oh well. As long as they hide my face, it's cool.

I began strutting down the isle to the cash register.

"180 yen, please."

"Here you go."

"Thank you!"

I was about 5 steps away from the exit. Take one by one. Breathe easy.

“Nah, you can keep those moments all to yourself, I’m not complaining,”

“Fine, be that way.”

Yamada Ryosuke. A happy little squirt a little more than 3 years younger than me. That angel’s smile was sweeping all Japan. Always smiling. Will he ever stop?! Really, I wish he would share some of that happy virus with me.

“Come on, let’s get to the dorms.” “OK.” “Yuto has the cup ramen all done.” “He has my eternal love.” “Aw. What happened to me, Takagi…?”

My ears perked up. “It’s TakaKI, PIPSQUEAK!!!” Will the world never stop teasing me about my last name?! All because it was the Okinawan version of the more common name…gosh…

And he giggled again. AGAIN! He giggled. Yamada giggled! AAH!

...and then he pinched my butt.

What an angel.

The next morning, something rolled out of my futon onto the floor with a thud. Huh? I smoothed my hair (it needs to be perfect.) and looked down. Oh my.

“Nakajima, why were you in bed with me...“Mmmnnnh.” “Nakajima!” “Muuuhhhhh.” “NAKAJIMA!!!” “Blechhh.” “NAKAJIMA F***ING YUTO!!!” “Takaki, what the hell?!”

The third youngest of our group, and Yamada’s best friend, this guy…I refuse to believe he’s only 1 centimeter shorter than me. The brat is 3 ½ years younger. How dare he be so tall? Tall as an American boy, I bet. But no one can hate this saucy child, he’s too crazy…Poor kid. Look at what a mess he is in the morning. Tsk.

“What did you put in my ramen last night, sucker?!” “Hot water and powder soup and noodles. Yay.” I wrestled him to the ground. “My stomach hurts like a penguin!” “Get Dai-chan to talk to it for you. He’s half penguin, remember?” “You suck, buddy.” “You know you like it, hot stuff.”

That was just ero kid for you.

I crawled my way to the toilet. “La, la, la.” I sang as I dropped my pajama pants and did my morning business. On the other side of the wall, though, I thought I heard a voice. Hm? Sounded like Yamada. Eheh. Takaki evil mode. I’ll eavesdrop a bit. Could it be a…-gasp- girlfriend?!

“La, la, la.” I continued to sing as I eavesdropped, still squatting on the toilet.

“Never. Do you think I could face the crowds and smile and wave, do you think I’d sign autographs and sing? You know I’d never forgive myself, so just this once, let me do what I have to do, let me be who I need to be, give me the chance to be the human I am so I can look the world in the eye and say ‘My name is Yamada Ryosuke’ and not identify myself only as the face on the cover of a magazine. Because I’m a person. I might be the child star, I might be the idol, but nothing, not even my family’s concern, can keep me away when…when my…oh damn it, my…YOU CAN’T KEEP ME AWAY WHEN MY UNCLE IS-

~PBHPBFBFBFBFBUUUUFFBBPPPPB~

Aw, screw it! So it wasn’t about a girl after all, I thought, sobering up. His uncle? His uncle what? I was dying to go to him right this instant, he sounded serious. It wasn’t the tone of the smiling guy I saw every day. But I didn’t hear the last part because…because…oh man. Well, technically it was Yuto’s fault. He jacked my ramen noodles yesterday with something, I swear. Ok, ok, ok…I couldn’t hear that last part because I, Takaki Yuya, sexy idol star...

I zipped up my fly. “No one….no one….no one….heard that.” I took a deep breath, washed my hands, and strutted out of the bathroom, patting my belly. Nothing makes you feel better than a nice passage of gas. You know, that was just between you and me. Got it?

“Oi, Takaki…”

Yabu peeped out from behind his door. Ah. Eldest member, handsome as always…I stood for a second, admiring his morning attire: sweatpants and no shirt. Hm.

I looked straight ahead, keeping a poker face. Hm. Really. A motorcycle, what could that be~ I plodded down the hall, still patting my belly. “Vroom Vroom!” I whispered, smirking to myself.

“TA. KA. KI.”

Keito appeared with a toothbrush in his mouth. 5th youngest guy, English boy! Quite attractive when you look at him from a close range. Really.

“Good Morning~”

I sang out in broken English.

“Takaki…the bathroom…smells like fresh poop.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

I started to make waffles for breakfast. Yuto crashed into the wall beside Keito. Damn, he’s still not awake. Doing a pirouette, he yelled,

“Takaki went to the toilet then MACHINE GUNS!!! Dododododododododododoodododoo~”

All the color drained from my face.

“Yuto dear, it’s too early in the morning for potty talk. Get dressed.”

“It’s never too early…” he rubbed his eyes, yawning.

I blinked twice. Was something behind me? I turned around. Nah. Wait—I turned around then looked down to see someone squatting and facing my butt.

“Daiki, what are you—“

He snickered, putting his hands together and pointing out his index fingers, and taking aim.

“No, Daiki, no. Bad penguin. No. NO, N---“

-OH!-

I lay knocked down spread-eagle on the kitchen floor smelling my waffles cooking, my rear end feeling like it was on fire.

"H...e...l....p..."

Inoo-chan stood over me.

"Alright, admit it already."

Daiki, standing in the background, pointed out his index fingers with a grin. My eyes bulged wide.

"I did it!! I did it!! I dropped a bomb!!!"

As the rest of the group closed in for the kill, just before they pounced to tackle me, Yamada's voice interrupted.

"Just stop it."

We turned to him quizzically. Normally he would've been the first to grab me and take me to the ground. But just now, he had the most pained expression I'd ever seen from anyone so far. I got up.

"Hey, Yamada."

He gave me one fleeting glare then slipped into his room.

"Look, what's the problem—"

He slammed the door in my face. I felt my heart sink down some inconceivable depth. I pounded my fist on his door.

"Yamada, if you don't open up I'll...I'll..."

I'll what? Nothing. I knew nothing, and he had slammed the door in my face. I banged my forehead on his wall and slid down to a sitting position.

Yamada Ryosuke, what's behind your smile?

-----

"Takaki, we're going out for udon,"

Ryutaro tapped my shoulder.

"Mmmnh. I'll be playing computer games. Have fun."

"Freak," he said, and walked out. Brat.

I turned the laptop on but rushed to the window as I watched the eight of them get in the van and drive away several stories below. Immediately, I went to Yamada's door. Knocking, I said,

"Yamada...come on."

No answer.

"Ya—"

"Get lost."

I bit my lip.

"Don't you trust me?"

"So what are you going to do? Smile and tell me it's okay? Is talking to you going to make it all go away?! I'm telling you right now that I don't need it."

I clenched my fists. "Yamada. I might not make it all go away, but just let me hold you up. You're thinking about how shallow everyone can be, right? I won't pity you and make a scene in front of the group. Listen, all I want is to know...and when it's hard, you can grab my hand and I'm here for you. Look, no one can be strong alone, so...Yamada..."

He cracked open the door.

"Takaki..."

I pushed the door wide open, entered, then closed it behind me and leaned against the wall, facing Yamada.

"Alright, buddy. What's got you?"

He opened his mouth but no sound came out. I smiled.

"Whenever you're ready. I'll be waiting."

"My uncle is dying."

A heavy silence fell upon us. He continued.

"He taught me how to fish, you know? Always took my side when I had it out with my parents. He made me laugh a lot, never forgot my birthday and was always the first and the loudest to cheer when I scored or made a good pass in soccer...they say he even called my name when he was in a coma..."

I felt my own eyes become heavy. He continued.

"But it's terminal cancer. We don't even know if he'll make it further than the concert in 10 days."

I exhaled deeply.

"Go."

"Huh?"

"Who gives a damn about the concert, go. You have around 10 days with him. Don't even step into the practice room today; take the next train to Kanagawa."

"Could I really..."

I grabbed his shoulders and looked into his eyes.

"Do you want to smile ever again? Without a sharp, heavy rock in your conscience?"

His watery eyes trembled, stressed beyond his years. I looked away.

"Regret is the most painful way to live and die."

I returned to my own room, where the laptop still sat humming, the screen dimmed. I flipped through a random scrapbook from 10 years earlier. It was when my family had gone to Paris. Why was I even looking through this? Just as I was about to close the scrapbook, something caught my eye. It was a picture of the Mona Lisa. And I swear, swear on everything I've ever known in the world—

It was dark, I thought repetitively to myself. You know, just to state the obvious. By the time we had all gone to bed, it was already around 1 o'clock in the morning, but I was still flat on my back, blinking and unblinking my eyes. Whether they were open or closed, the pitch-black view was the same. And before you ask, yes, I am in bed with Yuto, again. Very funny. Laugh. I sighed and closed my eyes. It was probably around 3 now and I'd be exhausted for rehearsal tomorrow. Damn...

Yamada hadn't come out of his room since I'd seen him last, and I had totally forgotten about dinner. Way to go. My stomach growled as I watched Yuto's udon-packed belly rise and fall with his breathing. Little squirt...

A few minutes after I squeezed my eyes shut, I felt a draft of chilly air. Hm...I let my left eye crack open just a bit, peeking through my eyelashes. There was a faint sliver of light, and I could make out someone's form slipping inside. Could it be a kidnapper? I curled up behind Yuto. If you gotta take someone...take him. I'm too sexy to die. Plus, I'm too sleepy to call for help. Good night. I shut my eyes again.

"Takaki..."

I heard a soft voice whisper.

"I'm so glad you're not awake right now..."

Oh, god, so it wasn't a kidnapper. It was the Mayonaka no Shadow Rapist. Mmph. I ain't no cherry pop so piss off! But he continued,

"Because I just want to say, you know...I'm going to go and take him onto the lake. We're going to fish and catch the biggest fish in Japan, and then we'll eat all of it until we get sick...and I'll play soccer and make a perfect kick each time, then watch him smile in the sun...we'll both talk back to my parents and get some democracy to the family dictatorship..."

His voice was cracking and filled with melancholy reminiscent laughter, and my nose was stuffing up with the kind of snot that jams when you're about to cry. I gritted my teeth. Listen through; he needs to get it off his chest...

"But he won't make it to my birthday, Takaki...my goddamn birthday; he called it his favorite day of the year...shit..."

I heard him wipe at his face, trying desperately to control his haggard breathing for several minutes. Finally, he whispered unevenly,

"Thanks...for listening..."

I hated myself for being "asleep". But if I were awake, would he have said all this...? I could only imagine his starry eyes marred with tears, and ignore the crushing sensation in my chest. If only I could...

Before I could finish my thought, I felt his presence draw nearer. Weirdly, my pulse beat faster, as if nervous at the tension. I felt his hand, covered in cold sweat, slip into my own, squeezing it as if to ask for help. I wanted to squeeze back, covering his shaking hand with my warm and dry one, but was at a loss for what to do, and remained frozen. But I still wanted to let him know I was there, still wanted to reply to his unasked question. I made up my mind to return his weak squeeze, and closed my hand.

But at that second, I felt his trembling fingers leave as soon as my own came together. I soon heard steady footsteps and a click, and like that, he was gone. I was bathed in the ensuing silence, left only with a tightly clenched fist and a wildly beating heart.

----

When my alarm went off, I suddenly had the urge to start the day with a bang. I tried to bolt up but there was something pressing down on my chest. Good lord, Yuto's damn leg was ON me! I literally kicked him off the bed and satisfied myself with the resounding thud of his violent landing.

"Mmmmbehhhh."

As usual, that was his only complaint, as he fell back asleep immediately. Whatever, kid...

I went to the kitchen to find a rather distraught Yabu.

"Yabububuuuu," I skipped in.

"Takaki, did you see Yamada anywhere? He's not in his room and he didn't leave a note..."

"Oh, him. He'll be back in a few days...as for the reason, it's our secret." I winked seductively and laughed away, hoping it was a good cover.

Meanwhile, I went to wash up. Sticking the toothbrush in my mouth (Lucky toothbrush, huh? Kidding, kidding) I leaned on my arm against the wall as I looked out the window.

"Idiot, you should have waited for me..." I opened and closed the hand he had held during the night.