Email’s, birthdays and Gold

Oh! The email’s I get! One of my bud’s sent me this one. I wish I could credit the author but I can’t. Whoever she is, she speaks for all us women-folk.

Important message!THIS IS NOT A HOAX.

You’ve heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves. Well, this kind of cruel theft is happening with other body parts as well!

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else’s thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal.

Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck
again.

My Butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I realized I’d have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.

Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm move to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary – my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee! Those “plastic”surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts-stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something “lifted”, look again – was it lifted from you?

THIS IS NOT A HOAX.

This is happening to women everywhere every night.

WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

P.S. Last year I thought someone had stolen my Boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept.

Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.

We are running to our mine for a couple days and will be back on Friday eve. My daughter, HappyGrl (Harvick fan) will be coming to see us so we can have my youngest Grandson, Chase’s first birthday party at Grama’s. Yeah. ( This is how I see if my kids read my blog, they said no pics odf the kids on the internet without telling tham LOL!!)

Friday is also the anniversery of the “Great Clance’s pretends to be Robby Gordon Dakar Deer Creek Rally” disaster. Which means my ankle/leg is as good as it will ever get. At least I am walking. I can hike steep hills as long as I go backwards and I am working on the mountain bike. Driving is still an issue, as I can’t feel half my foot, but I manage for short distances and back roads. No traffic or freeways for me. I am grateful I have those abilities. Doc said if I had done it ten years ago I would have lost my foot.
I am very grateful I didn’t.