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3/04/2011

#lifewithsocialanxiety

So last Thursday I attended the Cynthia Rowley trunk show at her boutique in Wicker Park. It was hosted by the ever-effervescent Amy Creyer of Chicago Streetstyle. I was really excited to be invited, because believe it or not, it was my first ~invite to anything ~kewl and ~fashion-related as a blogger. A bit of an ego boost, I guess. Unfortunately I suffer from cripping social anxiety, and when my boyfriend said he had band practice that night, I was thrust into a near-panic attack at the prospect of going alone. Schoomzing? Terrifying. People I don't know? RUN AWAY! But luckily I did not have a panic attack at the party, I managed to mingle and make small talk and do normal social things that most well-adjusted people take for granted.

Admittedly, I had never paid much attention to Cynthia Rowley's designs before this party. I assumed she made safe clothes for trixies who like khaki pants and Tory Burch and who never quite grew out of their college sorority style. Booooooy was I wrong! I saw fur, monochrome colors, avant-garde details, and imaginative prints, basically many things that would fit right at home in my closet. In fact, I even bought a gorgeous last-season dress for about 80% off, to be featured in an upcoming post. I've certainly learned my lesson against pre-judging!

The party was packed, but I only took photos of clothes. Going to the event alone without having a panic attack is enough of a breakthrough for me. I didn't need to add to my anxiety by asking to take photos of complete strangers "for my blog".

Runway pieces from her Spring collection.

I really should have bought one of these adorable little Coraline-meets-Kidrobot keychains, but I figured that I'd lose it because that's what seems to happen to all of my cute keychains ;___; First world problems.

Here's Amy, who hosted the party and was kind enough to invite me. You should probably check out her website. Sorry this photo isn't in focus.

Here's what I wore to the party. NOT WEARING BLACK!!OMGBBQ!! The entire outfit was built around my wicked Prada eyebrow glasses which I am still in shock that I even own. I was going for a Secretary (the movie) look, straight-laced yet with a subtle BDSM undertone. Top and skirt are American Apparel, bra is Wang. My Zana Bayne harness is so useful for injecting some fetish into an everyday outfit. Most normals would never make the connection between this harness and my status as a sub, but those who are practicing fetishists would recognize it instantly. Thus, I find that when I wear it, I end up meeting people with similar interests to my own.

My new (used and eBay'd) Comme des Garcons shoes. I finally have a pair of summertime shoes. I was initially hesitant to buy them because I worried that they would make my short stubby legs look even shorter, but my friends convinced me to not give a fuck about beauty standards. It's something I preach to other women, but often have trouble practicing myself. This doesn't make me a hypocrite...it makes me human. It's a tough world in which to be a woman.

14 comments:

This is the most fucking beautiful outfit. I love to hear your explanations of items too. I think you look so bad ass, and the shoes? screw the stubby leg complex, right now. The social anx sucks, I'm a panic attack sufferer myself, which I don't ever, ever announce publicly but I've had a bunch of alcohol this evening so clearly am chilled out enough to mention it to complete strangers, but anyway, I'm glad you survived the party. x

Thank you so much for coming to my Cynthia Rowley party. You looked SO killer and the Zana Bayne harness is just an extraordinary garment. I worked really hard to make you feel comfortable because (duh) I read your blog and know about your social anxiety. I will always look out for you at my parties and do my best to ensure you have a good time. You can always let me know if you're feeling uncomfortable and I will sneak you into the back for a hot minute. Someone very close to me suffers from social anxiety so it's a condition I am very familiar with.

bunch of things:-THE SHOES. jesus. wow. they are like a badass version of Swedish Hasbeens. what are they called? i want a pair-you are making me think that a harness is a versatile purchase. i feel like it works with everything you wear it with-social anxiety sux. if you ever need a schmoozing buddy for stuff like this hit me up sometime. i'm a champion at chatting up strangers

thanks everyone, i've been dealing with social anxiety since i was a kid and i've definitely gotten a lot better about it :)

@sarah - thanks! panic/anxiety attacks are awful, but it's nothing to be ashamed of! everyone experiences something like it at some point in their lives.

@amy - duly noted! i appreciate you making me feel so comfortable at your party, it helped tremendously.

@jamie- bunch of answers: a) i don't know what they are called, but they are from comme's spring 2008 collection (i think). b) YES, get a harness from zana! you will LOVE it, i promise! the craftmanship is outstanding and it works with everything from pajamas to dress-up outfits to uh, sexytime. c) also YES, i will most certainly hit you up for that in the future!

@tavi - you are so sweet and so nice and thank you so much and i can't even.

@pneumonia bw - yes it's quite awful, but managing it is possible! just takes time and lots of mental effort to stay calm.

@britty- thanks!

@wobblinbetty - thank you so very much, so meaningful to hear compliments from one with such exceptional taste as yourself!

@arablle - gurl get into my life. if you are every in chicago you can try on my glasses to have the eybrow experience. completely serious here. it's a life experience worth having.