Some say spying is a gentleman’s game; it’s not. Leading news sources in the US and China confirmed this week that nearly two dozen CIA informants have been killed or imprisoned by Chinese authorities. When the only thing we can agree on is the body count, it may be time to re-evaluate our values.

The New York Times, BBC, Asia Times and more filled the newswire this week with reports that CIA informants in China were killed or captured as far back as 2010. Nobody seems to know how Chinese authorities were able to quickly and quietly identify, terminate and detain CIA’s most sensitive sources over the course of two years. The Agency claims they were investigating two possible moles – Chinese penetrations working inside CIA itself – but both suspects successfully fled to Asia before a case could leveled against them in the US. A second theory was that the operations were discovered due to human error; sloppy, repetitive tradecraft by CIA that the Chinese reverse engineered and used as virtual tracking beacons. While the ongoing discussion is interesting and compelling, the focus is on the wrong question. Rather than ask, “What happened?” I challenge that we ask, “Why did it happen?”

My time with CIA taught me that a country’s chief intelligence service is a reflection of its culture. That explains why the people serving in CIA Headquarters and executing covert operations are more like the cast of ‘The Office’ than ‘Burn Notice.’ They complain about their commute, compare predictions for ‘The Voice,’ and doze off daily in their cubicles around 2:30pm. This routine is not a sign of incompetence, but rather an indicator that CIA is more common than Hollywood would have us believe. This commonality is important because it is the key to understanding why CIA lost decades worth of work in less than 24 months.

The men and women serving at CIA are just like you and me: they love their families, take pride in their country, look forward to summer vacation and hate paying taxes. When they were first hired by CIA they accepted their job offers with excitement and optimism. But over time, like many of us, they discovered that their talents, ambition and creativity were not priorities for the company. Too often conformity, obedience and quiet restraint paved the road to promotion.

When the grind of a long commute, disinterested leadership, conflicting priorities and a fixed salary wear us down, compromise takes the driver’s seat. We compromise on goals, ambitions and even personal health. Is it a surprise, then, that we would see a compromise in professional performance as well?

Consider again the headlines from above. The New York Times credits, “current and former American officials…on condition of anonymity” as news sources. Each of these individuals signed a secrecy agreement to protect this type of information but chose to compromise themselves by leaking this story. The mole hunt was focused on disgruntled employees who were compromised even though they were once full of enthusiasm and commitment as new recruits. Lastly, Chinese intelligence services have countered our recent losses with their own operational victories like the cyber attack on the Office of Personnel Management in 2015, placing Chinese agents inside FBI in 2016, and penetrating the US State Department via American citizen Candace Marie Claiborne earlier this year.

The espionage problem is not about leaks or tradecraft, it is about compromise – the fatal flaw. Espionage is about selling lies to traitors who want to be patriots. Compromise begets compromise in a destructive cycle that devours our energy and convinces us that the only escape is to compromise further. Do not be fooled! Take heart – there is another way. We can reject compromise, embrace courage, and strike out in pursuit of the life we have always believed in. Those trapped in the vacuum of compromise will try to convince us that all is lost, but we must stand resolute. Live the example, recognize your potential, and fear no horizon. The horizon is the only place where we can meet the sun.

Drowning is one of my greatest fears in life. Imagine my surprise when I learned in 2015 that the average human being can hold their breath for nearly two minutes naturally – without preparation, training, or risk of injury. With proper training, that number can increase by 50% – 100% or more! For me, that training started with the Waterman Survival Course under the guidance of Freedive International Instructor Joe Sheridan.

Drowning is something we can all relate to, even if we’ve never found ourselves pinned underwater with our lungs buckling for oxygen. Just this week I found myself standing in the safety of my own home, drowning in the tasks I felt piling on top of me. Miles away from the nearest body of water, I was immersed in the kind of panic, fear and confusion that must come with drowning in water. In that moment I thought of Joe and my time in his course. Humble, kind and helpful, Joe is a master of slowing the world down and maximizing every breath.

Static Apnea is defined by the International Association for Development of Apnea (AIDA) as the practice of holding one breath underwater for as long as possible. While many of us may not be able to imagine this skill being useful, professional watermen around the world would disagree. Big wave surfers often find themselves held under large waves, unable to swim to the surface for minutes at a time. Spear fishermen, freedivers, boat crews, and coast guard rescue swimmers are regularly put in a position where they are submerged without oxygen, slave to the power of the ocean. In those moments, a cool head and confidence in your capacity for apnea is the deciding factor between life and death.

Joe taught me how to interpret my body’s reaction to oxygen deprivation. I learned to differentiate between the feeling of too little oxygen and the feeling of too much carbon dioxide – two very different scenarios. With the first, you pass out and your body fails to function. With the second, your body may be uncomfortable but it remains fully functional. The value in this lesson transcends water safety and brings powerful truths to how we can live our lives.

When we feel overwhelmed by life – by the demands of work, school, personal goals or family – we can find confidence in knowing that we are far from drowning. The same two minutes that allow a pro surfer to find his way out from under a crushing wave also allow us to break free of the immediate anxiety we feel during life’s most stressful moments. When outside pressures reach their peak we can pause, trust our resilience, and know that the moment is temporary. The wave will pass over and our next breath will bring clarity. From there, we can find our way back to shore.

Drowning is preventable. Water is not the threat; fear and panic are the true villains that steal life. While Joe has given countless watermen confidence in their breath, I encourage all of us to let his teachings bring us peace of mind – in and out of the water.

Espionage is predictable and ugly. Most people do not realize the repetitive nature of spying; that it is more akin to a child’s ‘color by numbers’ book than an Ian Fleming story line. Perhaps the predictability of espionage – the secrecy, the exclusivity, the winners and losers – is what makes it so interesting to people. While there may be mystery to the art of spying, there is also power in seeing the pattern. The same pattern used to pitch treason abroad is used by statesmen, salesmen and scammers to steal an important commodity from each of us: hope. But like most repetitive things, espionage is a game of diminishing returns played by people who yearn for the same changes that they fear.

The stage was set; we knew where the target would be, when he would be there, and we knew he would be alone. Our CIA lead officer was charged with making first contact. If the bump was a failure, only the lead officer’s face would be known and the rest of us could disperse unnoticed. But if the bump was a success, we were able to mobilize quickly to get cash, tech, or other support items to the lead officer at the wave of his hand.

Number 1: Contact
Espionage requires contact. Whether digital, physical, personal or impersonal, there can be no spying without contact. As a result of this requirement, spies have a different perspective on contact than the average person. An email can be exciting or suspicious; a cell phone equally convenient and risky; a relationship both a strength and a vulnerability. Over time, the constant uncertainty about contact makes spies paranoid and intensely focused on themselves – their safety, their career trajectory, their success. Yet still espionage attracts the passionate and intelligent like moths to a blue light, ignorant of fate ahead of them. Predictable, but ugly.

The operation was bare-bones; no tech, no radio, no weapons. It had to look like a casual exchange in a public setting. The target liked high-end items, things he couldn’t get in his own country, so we dressed our lead officer in finery – nothing too ostentatious, just enough to catch the eye of a narcissist. The goal was to make contact and drive for a simple exchange; a friendly conversation, a cup of coffee, maybe paying for an impromptu lunch. With the designer clothing and accessories worn by our officer, it would be easy to convince the target to let us pick up the tab.

Number 2: Exchange
Espionage requires exchange. The exchange can be anything: information, money, conversation, goods. What matters in espionage is that the exchange is unequal; that the target gives more than they receive, without realizing it. I have seen operations where foreign assets get paid in gold bars, powdered milk and even pornography in exchange for treason against their country. The unequal exchange is critical because it lays the foundation for dependence. Without dependence – some kind of perceived need – there can be no control, and every spy wants control over their asset. But control does not end at the operation. The truth is that spies themselves are also controlled; not by an individual but by the larger organization they serve. And like the target, spies are also fooled into giving more than they receive, without realizing it. Predictable, but ugly.

Success! We watched as our officer lead the target to a quiet coffee shop a block away from where they met. A quick and inconspicuous hand-gesture signaled that we needed to split-up and send one officer into the coffee shop with an envelope thick with money. A second officer would stage outside of the coffee shop and keep an eye out for anything suspicious. Our faces were still unknown to the target, shades of ‘the crowd’. To the target, it seemed like a lucky day where he met a friendly guy with deep pockets in line at the weekend market. To us, the plan was working perfectly.

Number 3: Compromise
Espionage requires compromise. An asset’s worth is a reflection of his or her immediate utility, and their utility is tied to their willingness to compromise. Telling secrets is not natural to anyone; even the biggest gossips refrain from divulging everything they know. While it is nearly impossible to get someone to change their personal values, it is surprisingly easy to get people to compromise on their values when they feel the situation is lucrative and private. This is the step where spies are born. Whether considering a foreign asset selling secrets for money, a terrorism suspect naming associates in exchange for a pardon, or a CIA officer sacrificing marriage, parenthood, and work/life balance, compromise is king in a kingdom of deceit. Predictable, but ugly.

I never saw the target in person again. I continued to track him from a distance, reading his progress on the road to espionage through reports that came in periodically. I saw the lead officer far more often, coming back to the office after meetings. He would come in, remove and return all the fine things he was wearing to impress the target, and walk home to an empty apartment in the same loafers and windbreaker he wore into the office that morning. This is espionage by the numbers.

The pattern is there for us to see. It is part of our daily lives. Contact, exchange and compromise have become pillars in our professional careers, peer networks and national politics. The question is whether we find ourselves giving more than we receive and compromising personal values without even realizing it.

By seeing the pattern we give ourselves the power to stop it; to break it; to change it. We do not need to fear the change – we need to drive it. If we do not drive the change ourselves than we hand control over to others; to those who see no value in positive change. From there the future becomes less hopeful and more predictable and ugly. But when each of us commits to driving positive change in our own lives we break the cycle that leads to compromise. It is at that point that we steer toward a new and better future for this generation and the generations to come.

There is a reason for the saying, ‘The Truth Hurts.’ The saying cuts both ways because the truth is often just as difficult to share as it is to hear. Maybe that is why the truth so often goes unspoken. But for those pursuing their ambitions and committed to their goals, there is nothing more valuable or impactful than honest, truthful feedback.

I have always been a direct person. I personally value open communication for the clarity and accountability it brings. That said, I am frequently reminded that my default is not always the default for others. Even more difficult are those moments when I advocate the truth but encounter resistance – a preference from those around me for a different version of the facts.

It is an unfortunate truth that our present world has allowed the truth to become relative. Many people readily accept alternate facts and allow their beliefs to overrule evidence. This is the new status quo. But rather than feel outraged or disheartened by the current state, I encourage us instead to redouble our commitment to speaking and hearing the truth – even when it hurts us. If we are going to shape tomorrow, if we are to build the world we dream of, we must be courageous enough to trust any pain that truth may bring.

“Telling the truth and making someone cry is better than telling a lie and making someone smile.” – Paolo Coelho

We must be a benefit to one another. Silence, avoidance, and pretense undermine growth, development and collaboration. We cannot allow ourselves to become fearful of the truth. To do so is to accept the status quo and follow those that seed deceit. Instead, we must encourage one another through constructive feedback and admit when we are struggling with fear or doubt. Only honesty – and the trust that comes with it – can bring destructive thoughts to heel. Be strong. Be truthful. Win.