CBS unveils its new chick show, 'The Talk' today

CBS will debut "The Talk" -- its answer to ABC's chick-talker "The View" -- on Monday with a lineup of guests delivered mostly by - what's this? ABC and its parent company Disney?

Things start innocently enough Monday with guest Christie Brinkley who recently won an award for her support of Smile Train, the non-profit organization that provides free cleft surgery for millions of poor children in developing countries.

Meanwhile, "The View's" Monday guest "get" is Levi Johnston, baby daddy of Teen Abstinence Advocate/"Dancing with the Stars" competitor Bristol Palin. Also on Monday, "The View" ladies Sherri Shepherd and Elisabeth Hasselbeck are going to reveal their mammogram results.

And Oprah has booked the teenager who killed his molester by stabbing him 55 times.

Poor Christie Brinkley doesn't stand a chance.

Tuesday, things look brighter for "The Talk" which has booked new "American Idol" judge Jennifer Lopez. Why didn't they start with her? Lopez could totally take down Levi.

Wednesday's "The Talk" will feature Melissa Rycroft, the ABC serial reality-show participant. She's the one who was picked by "The Bachelor" during the Jason Mesnick era, only then he dumped her on national TV so he could re-take-up with his runner-up chick-of-choice Molly. Then ABC asked Melissa to compete in "Dancing with the Stars" by way of apologizing/cashing in - and then, just when we thought we'd seen the last of her, ABC asks her to co-host ABC's super-skeevy "Bachelor" spinoff, "Bachelor Pad" over the summer.

Rycroft's going to be on the new show the same day as the former South Carolina first lady Jenny Sanford. Remember when she was the first lady of the state and her husband told her he was going hiking on the Appalachian trial -- the best euphemism ever for "shagging my mistress in Argentina"? Anyway, Sanford's going to plug her book, "Staying True" -- it's being released in paperback on Tuesday.

Thursday's guest on "The Talk": ABC's star Chandra Wilson of "Grey's Anatomy." Friday it's Jamie Lee Curtis, who's starring in the flick "You Again" - from ABC-parent Disney. Also appearing as guests on Friday are Rick Fox and Cheryl Burke, who are dancing together on this fall edition of ABC's "Dancing with the Stars."

The gag on "The Talk" is that all the ladies on this talk show are moms. And, from the Daytime Chick-Gaggle Talk-Show Playbook: "The Talk" adheres to the One of This, One of That casting technique:

*The show's creator/producer/co-host Sarah Gilbert -- you know her from "Roseanne" and "Big Bang Theory" -- is the Lesbian Mom.

*Julie Chen -- the Married to CBS CEO Mom.

*Leah Remini, onetime female lead of CBS's "King of Queens" -- the Former CBS Star/Takes Heat for Being Scientologist Mom.

*Sharon Osbourne, mother of Ozzy Osbourne's children -- They Don't Come Much Crazier Old Mom.

*Marissa Jaret Winokur, best known for her breakout role in the Broadway production of "Hairspray," followed by a mercifully short run on Fox's Pamela-Anderson-works-in-a-bookstore-hardy-har-har sitcom "Stacked" -- Had Baby Via Surrogate Mom.

Here's the CBS "The Talk" tease -- guess who gets the most screen time?:

We encourage users to analyze, comment on and even challenge washingtonpost.com's articles, blogs, reviews and multimedia features.

User reviews and comments that include profanity or personal attacks or other inappropriate comments or material will be removed from the site. Additionally, entries that are unsigned or contain "signatures" by someone other than the actual author will be removed. Finally, we will take steps to block users who violate any of our posting standards, terms of use or privacy policies or any other policies governing this site. Please review the full rules governing commentaries and discussions.