What If Derek Jeter Starred In ‘Back To School’?

Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter, #2 on the field but #1 in our hearts, is set to retire from baseball at the end of this season. One little known fact about The Captain is that he spent one semester as a student at the University of Michigan before joining the Yankees organization, way back in 1992. Jeter grew up in the state of Michigan and still has strong ties there, and he was asked during a press conference this week if he would consider returning to college upon his retirement from Major League Baseball.

Detroit News sportwriter Chris McCoskey was an attendee at this press conference, and tweeted out this response by Jeter to that line of questioning:

Jeter was asked if he'd consider going back to U-M after he retires, "You saw Back to School with Rodney Dangerfield? That'd be me."

Of course, Jeter is showing his age (40!) a bit by referencing Back To School, a movie that came out way back in 1986. The movie was a huge hit at the box office that year, earning over $91MM and coming in as 1986’s sixth-highest grossing film. It’s one of the favorites of Team Decider as well, and when we heard that Jeter was a fan, well, we couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like if HE starred in the film instead of Rodney Dangerfield.

So, without further ado, we’d like to present to you … Back To School, starring Derek Jeter!

"You saw 'Back To School' with Rodney Dangerfield? That'd be me."

"I don't care how rich or successful a man is. If he don't got an education, he's got nothing."

Photo Illustration by Jaclyn Kessel

"Please don't throw your clothes on the Breuer chair."

Photo Illustration by Jaclyn Kessel

"Take it easy, honey, I didn't see a thing ... YOU'RE PERFECT!"

Photo Illustration by Jaclyn Kessel

"There's nothing like good clean business ... and a little monkey business!"

Photo Illustration by Jaclyn Kessel

"Hey, what's with all the USED books? Shakespeare for everyone. I'd like to tame your shrew!"

Photo Illustration by Jaclyn Kessel

"I like teachers. You do something wrong, they make you do it again."

Photo Illustration by Jaclyn Kessel

"Yes! Yes!"

Photo Illustration by Jaclyn Kessel

"I don't change in front of guys. The next thing you know, you're showerin' with the fellas. The next thing you know, you're pinned to a sophomore named Chip."

Photo Illustration by Jaclyn Kessel

"No problem, they're taking a break, that's all!"

Photo Illustration by Jaclyn Kessel

"How would you like a life of luxury and deceit?"

Photo Illustration by Jaclyn Kessel

"I love three girls at once. If I fall asleep, they have each other to talk to!"