THE CRIME TAILOR: I think you better explain this to me again.JAVELIN: Well, I have these collapsible javelins, see. So I’m thinking I’ll call myself “Javelin.”TAILOR: Yes, I got that.JAVELIN: I was trying to come up with a color that starts with “J” so I could have, like, a color scheme all picked out for you ahead of time, but I couldn’t come up with anything.TAILOR: Well, there’s jade. Jade Javelin?JAVELIN: Jade Javelin’s not gonna work.TAILOR: Jet black? The Jet-Black Javelin?JAVELIN: That sounds kind of awkward. Doesn’t really roll off the tongue.TAILOR: …jasmine?JAVELIN: I thought that was a perfume.TAILOR: It’s a color, too. Kind of a light purple.JAVELIN: So basically it’s lavender?TAILOR: Yeah.JAVELIN: Sounds kind of gay, doesn’t it?TAILOR: Maybe, but I don’t judge.JAVELIN: Look, we’ll come back to the color later. So I got these javelins, right?TAILOR: Right. Because you competed as a javelin… guy… in the Olympics.JAVELIN: The term is “javelineer.”TAILOR: Right.JAVELIN: Anyway, I got an exploding javelin, and a glue javelin, and an electrified javelin, and –TAILOR: Sounds like Green Arrow.JAVELIN: Huh?TAILOR: Well, it sounds like Green Arrow. With all the trick arrows he’s got, you know?JAVELIN: Yeah, but Green Arrow is a pussy. He uses a bow. I throw these javelins.TAILOR: Do you throw ’em further than he can shoot an arrow with his bow?JAVELIN: …I don’t think so, no.TAILOR: Then don’t go calling him a pussy. Green Arrow will fuck you up if you go after him.JAVELIN: I’m not going to Star City anyhow.TAILOR: Fine. Okay, so I’m thinking something along the lines of this – bright color base with blue-black trim. We can pick the color when we settle on your final name.JAVELIN: Hey, a couple guys said you were the one to talk to about rocket boots?TAILOR: I’m not a fan of the rocket boots. Guys want to rely on them, you’re lucky to get maybe two minutes’ worth of flying out of them before you run out of fuel…JAVELIN: I just want ’em for an extra edge, you know? A backup.TAILOR: Look, everybody says that, but then I gotta deal with the complaints when they come back here wearing a backbrace and demanding a refund. By the way, I did mention my refund policy?JAVELIN: If I ask for one, you shoot me?TAILOR: Right you are.JAVELIN: I get where you’re coming from, but I still want the rocket boots.TAILOR: Okay. If you really want the rocket boots, I recommend the Highstepper XLEs. They accelerate real quick, so you get a bit more oomph for your dollar.JAVELIN: If you say that’s the best, I’m sold. Oh, can I get, like, a hip pouch?TAILOR: For the javelins, right?JAVELIN: Right.TAILOR: Sure you don’t want a back-mounted quiver? All the European supervillains these days are big on the quiver.JAVELIN: Back quiver seems kind of like overkill, doesn’t it? I mean, look, here’s one of my javelins.TAILOR: Wow, that is small.JAVELIN: Now, if I activate it it’ll extend to six feet, of course, but while it’s stored in the pocket… I mean, the hip-mount, I figure it’ll work like an easy-access pocket, be more convenient to pull and throw instead of reaching backwards over my shoulder.TAILOR: What happens if the javelins activate while they’re in your pouch?JAVELIN: What?TAILOR: If they extend while they’re stored, and they’re on your back – well, it might get awkward, but worst that happens is you’ve got a ruined pouch. If your leg is angled wrong, though, and they extend while they’re still in a hip-pouch? I can see them, you know. Stabbing you to death.JAVELIN: Oh, there’s microcircuitry in the gloves that has to come in contact with the javelins in order to extend them. I brought the gloves along for your redesign…TAILOR: I see. Well, that’s very well thought out. So, as to color schemes, I’m thinking a sharp forest green…JAVELIN: No green.TAILOR: What’s wrong with green?JAVELIN: Green Lantern wears green.TAILOR: So?JAVELIN: So I’m gonna be fighting Green Lantern. We can’t both wear green.A pause.TAILOR: You’re gonna fight Green Lantern.JAVELIN: Well, not on purpose, but I figure Coast City is a nice target. Practically no super-crooks there.TAILOR: That’s because Green Lantern is there, kid. He’s got the most powerful weapon in the universe! On his finger! You’re gonna fight him with javelins?JAVELIN: I’ve got a javelin that sprays yellow paint on things.TAILOR: Tell you what. Let’s make the costume yellow. I think that might come in handy if you’re going to fight Green Lantern.JAVELIN: Excellent. It’s all coming together!

Today’s ultra-nerdy question: who came first, Javelin or the Marvel villain Boomerang?

Boomerang was a mercenary villain (check), a former athlete (check), with trick throwing weapons (check) that were kind of goofy (check), who wore an ugly two-tone bodysuit (check) without armor but with boot jets (check), who fought heroes way, way too powerful for him (check). I recall Boomerang fighting the Hulk with, um, boomerangs, back in ye olden tymes.

You know, if this was a real guy, he’d be a badass. I’d root for him, you know. Guy with pointy sticks takes on all comers… but since it’s a *character*, who, you know, someone thought up and figured people would pay to see… yeah I get the rating.

Yellow IS kinda smart in that context. Except it’s not completely yellow.

Hey, Jaculi of the Jihad that appeared in Suicide Squad #1 used javelins, and he/she — there was a female Jaculi that appeared later in the run after the first male one got deaded — did all right with them.

Of course, they were speedsters, and their javelins were ‘splodey, but they stilll had to throw ’em the same way — their speed was short-burst, and for movement only.

Then they had the even GREATER disadvantage of facing Floyd ‘Deadshot’ Lawton, as opposed to Green Lantern:

Second Jaculi (after being shot in the leg): Kill me, American…or I willl…come back and kill you.

He’s got the most powerful weapon in the universe! On his finger!
You know, people always say that, but never treat the ring as that powerful. Why not just call it what it really is: “A cracker-jack prize that makes a fancy light show? And you can fly. So I guess it’s more like a Legionnaire flight ring that makes a fancy light show.”

This reminds me. Are there any Lanterns left in the 31st Century, or whenever the Legion takes place?

This reminds me. Are there any Lanterns left in the 31st Century, or whenever the Legion takes place?

Depends on which continuity.

Joe X is correct about Rond Vidar and the one other in Geoff Johns’s version.

In the 5YL stories, Vidar’s ring was destroyed by Mordru and the energy from it transformed Celeste Rockfish into a green energy creature. Then there was a continuity ripple and she became a Darkstar.

I don’t recall any Green Lanterns in the reboot or threeboot stories.

In animated-series Legion continuity, we saw a large and active Green Lantern Corps in an issue of Legion of Super-Heroes in the 31st Century, prominently featuring the Teen Lantern, aka Jordana Gardner.

By the standards of the DC universe, pulling one crime does not make you a master criminal. Unless, it’s master as in “masters degree”. That would kind of make sense for a guy at this level. But then we’d have to call people like The Trickster “doctoral criminals” and that would get awkward real fast. “I’m a doctor of law-break-ology?” And then you get the schmucks who get a mail-order doctorate in divinity and call themselves doctoral criminals.

AND you have to come up with something that applies to the Joker. What? Nobel-Winning Criminal?

I don’t know. When the Green Lantern gets a good writer behind him – and a good artist – he can do some pretty entertaining and amazing shit. He’s effectively got telekinesis on anything not yellow, which I imagine could be pretty useful.

I’ve seen a few more daring renditions of GL where he saves people falling out of an airplane with a 50 foot tall playboy playmate’s boobs. Or he turns himself into a heavily armored calvary rider completely with jousting spear and flapping banner. Just the intimidation power alone is pretty entertaining.

And, of course, there’s the GL enemy counterparts who do ridiculously mean shit like creating vats of yellow acid or ebola viruses or hordes of demonic crazy critters designed to cause havoc and murder straight out of thin air. I’m pretty confident that the GL power ranks up there with the best of the best.

If a guy like Javelin has even half a chance against someone welding that much raw punch, its only because either A) the writer was giving this guy a huge handycap or B) he’s not really playing up the amount of ass-kicking Hal Jordon could traditionally dish out.

These kinds of characters slay me. The ones that are named after a singular weapon of choice and all they have going for them is variations of the same item over and over again. Just once I’d like to see a guy named The Frisbee whip out a gun and just shoot the pursuing superhero in the chest.

The only exception that I don’t mind is Oddball. At least the name gives a chance for more unusual character and weaponry development. I’d love the chance to re-invent that character.

As for the Javelin. He was killed in OYL in Checkmate v2 06. Mirror Master recruits him to frame Amanda Waller but he fails miserably. But hey…at least he was in a group (Suicide Squad) and in JLU he was in the Secret Society.

Y’know, I don’t think jasmine is a colour. I mean, I’m sure there are paints that call themselves ‘jasmine’, but there are paints that call themselves ‘harvest moon’, and it still isn’t a colour. And if jasmine were a colour, it would probably be white. Possibly yellow. Obviously I’m not saying you’re wrong, but that Crime Tailor chap really should know better.

It seems to me that a lot of people aren’t up to speed on Green Lantern and the rest of the Corps. I hate to be the “know-it-all” nerd but the weakness to yellow hasn’t plauged any of the vetern lanterns for a long time (nearly two years now) especially someone like Hal. Wikipedia has the details. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_Lantern

Marvel had a spider-man issue involving a tailor that did work for both heroes and villains alike. He saw villains on tuesdays and thursdays and heroes on wednesdays and fridays – or something like that. They showed images of him fitting the Blob, Dr Doom, Captain America, etc. If it hadn’t been tied into a really stupid subplot involving Spider-Man seeing his own future demise while helping Dr Strange contain Dormammu, it might have been a greater storyline.

[…] Green Lantern. No superpowers, no awesome weapons, not even anything made of yellow. Hell, at least Javelin had a yellow costume. Predator doesn’t even have that. Which means that in order for him to […]