YAAAY! Finally people are realizing that co-sleeping is normal, natural and necessary!!

The Harvard University Gazette featured this article a number of years ago…well, about 10 years ag, in fact.

“Parents should recognize that having their babies cry unnecessarily harms the baby permanently,” Commons said. “It changes the nervous system so they’re overly sensitive to future trauma.”

“The pair say that American childrearing practices are influenced by fears that children will grow up dependent. But they say that parents are on the wrong track: physical contact and reassurance will make children more secure and better able to form adult relationships when they finally head out on their own.

“We’ve stressed independence so much that it’s having some very negative side effects,” Miller said.”

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YOU DON’T SAY!?!? My Auntie (the meanest auntie in the whole wide world 😉 ) and my cousin, who is a few months younger than I am and has a small son (I think he is three) were here a couple of months ago for a short visit. We co-sleep to the extent that if we are not in bed, neither is Zoe. She might be in one of our laps onthe couch while we read, or watch a little tube, or listen to the radio, or if we are up doing something after the girls go to sleep, Zoe will lay on the couch or our super huge ottoman (it’s HUGE, so co-sleepers, worry not!) My cousin, asking very caringly, “won’t sleeping like that make her dependent? ” In a word I answered her “nope.” I went on further to let her know a bit about our parenting philosophy, that it is INTERDEPENDENCE we are attempting to achieve, not independence. While we do not molly coddle our girls, we don’t dismiss them, either and we attend to their emotional needs when they need it and then some. My kids are so damned independent at times it isn’t even funny, but they have a balance, already at their young ages. Tehy know what their personal boundaries are and when they need to run to mom or dad.

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“Besides fears of dependence, the pair said other factors have helped form our childrearing practices, including fears that children would interfere with sex if they shared their parents’ room and doctors’ concerns that a baby would be injured by a parent rolling on it if the parent and baby shared the bed. Additionally, the nation’s growing wealth has helped the trend toward separation by giving families the means to buy larger homes with separate rooms for children.

The result, Commons and Miller said, is a nation that doesn’t like caring for its own children, a violent nation marked by loose, nonphysical relationships.

“I think there’s a real resistance in this culture to caring for children,” Commons said. But “punishment and abandonment has never been a good way to get warm, caring, independent people.”

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I am of a firm and completely convinced opinion that the disconnect we have anymore among people is because people cater to their children, but do not care for their children. Parents are so concerned with giving everything to their kids, that they forget the one thing the kids NEED, their parents.

As for sex, Rob and I have an amazing sex life, not to brag too much. He shared with me a conversation he had with his boss the other day (keep in mind, these men are mechanics…foul foul men when with one another! LOL)

BOSS: what you doing when you get home?

ROB: More work. My working never ends. (it really doesn’t! the man is a freakin’ workhorse)

BOSS: What are you talking about? Your job is done, Tasha is pregnant.

ROB: Are you kidding me? Now is when the real work begins. Now I have to deal with the insatiable lust.

BOSS: You poor, poor man.

ROB: Yeah, it’s rough.

Believe you me, our bed is not the only place that is fun for love making! We are creative and inventive and sometimes just plain crazy! Sex is never an issue.

Rolling over onto the babe, well, considering I never drink more than a drink when I drink alcohol, I am never going to bed with the babe while intoxicated. Rob sleeps on the sofa when he has been drinking. Both of us are light sleepers and VERY aware that our child lies between us. there is no rolling over the baby. Period.

Regarding the last bit that I quoted, I completely agree. We are so out of touch with children. They are, more than any other generation, in my opinion, to be seen (with all of their stuff that mom and dad got for them) and not heard (who could hear them anyhow with earbuds in all the time?) then we stick them into daycare centers until 5 and 6 o’clock at night, bring them home, throw some groceries (read: fast food) down their throats, bathe them and put them to bed in front of dvds or tv. We wake them in the morning, according to OUR schedule, and tote them off into the adult world to do it all over again (I didn’t factor in the over committing, soccer, dance, swim, scouts, etc. of children.) Way to go, America! Now that is what I call stellar parenting!

I think I will end this mini-rant by saying that I am not sorry for anything I have written or will write about my opinion ont he state of parenting in our Western culture. I think that collectively, it eats. It eats hard and rotten. Unless parents wake up and realize that THEY are the most important thing they can give their children, then society as we know it will continue to decline and we will become evermore disconnected until we don’t talk at all. We don’t touch at all. We don’t cry or laugh or yell at all.

My children will not be a part of that. They will not be emotionless robots catering to societies demands.

World Health Organization and all the info they have on breastfeeding. LOTS of great things on this page and it’s NOT JUST ABOUT BABIES AND TODDLERS IN THIRD WORLD PARTS OF AFRICA! (pssst…..that’s why they are called the WORLD Health Organization, not the AFRICA Health Organization.)

From the site:

“Q: Up to what age can a baby stay well nourished by just being breastfed?

A: Infants should be exclusively breastfed – i.e. receive only breast milk – for the first six months of life to achieve optimal growth, development and health. “Exclusive breastfeeding” is defined as giving no other food or drink – not even water – except breast milk. It does, however, allow the infant to receive drops and syrups (vitamins, minerals and medicines). Breast milk is the ideal food for the healthy growth and development of infants; breastfeeding is also an integral part of the reproductive process with important implications for the health of mothers.

WHO recommends that infants start receiving complementary foods at six months (180 days) of age in addition to breast milk. Complementary foods should be given 2–3 times a day between 6–8 months, increasing to three times a day between 9–11 months with one nutritious snack. Between 12–24 months of age, three meals should be given and two additional nutritious snacks can be offered between meals, as desired. These foods should be adequate, meaning that they provide sufficient energy, protein and micronutrients to meet a growing child’s nutritional needs. Foods should be prepared and given in a safe manner to minimize the risk of contamination. Feeding young infants requires active care and stimulation to encourage the child to eat.

The transition from exclusive breastfeeding to full use of family foods is a very vulnerable period. It is the time when many infants become malnourished, contributing significantly to the high prevalence of malnutrition in children under five years of age worldwide. It is essential therefore that infants receive appropriate, adequate and safe complementary foods to ensure the right transition from the breastfeeding period to the full use of family foods.”

I really hate the old wives tale about giving babies younger than 6 months a bottle of really watery formula and rice mixture so they will sleep. Rice turns to sugar. Why would you feed that to a baby you are trying to help to sleep. Further more, ‘sleep-training’? I’ll have something on that soon I am sure, as we are a bedsharing family and sleep is a need not a habit. That’s all I will say about that for now.

There is zero reason a baby younger than 6 months needs anything other than human milk. Sure,Mama, you might be excited to see your babe eat solids for the first time, but trust me, HECK, trust WHO, your baby can wait and so can you. Cherish how little they are. Babies don’t keep. Stop rushing and just cherish. Cherish each moment you have your baby at your breast. They will thank you for it with or without words.

Admittedly, some of this is a little bit of first trimester bloat, but not much of it. I guess third babies will do that.

I have a post for later about SIDS and a recent ‘news’ report that WCCO did about co-sleeping and SIDS, even though the two are not related. Remember, SIDS is UNEXPLAINED death of an infant. Babies who die while co-sleeping with parents tend to die when they get squished and/or are bed-sharing inappropriately. I am not sure what time I will get to it as Rob is helping me with a few things indoors tonight and I amnot sure how long it will take.