Commission Convened To Increase Gun Free Zone Font Size

President Barack Obama announced today the formation of a commission to explore font size changes on Gun Free Zone signage hot off the heels of a government watchdog report. The report startlingly showed that mass shootings were up sharply in gun free zones, and virtually non existent elsewhere.

A spokesman for the Department of Homeland Security said that they are baffled, “All mass shooting sites clearly had signs posted at each entrance, yet the gunman apparently walked right by without noticing, the only conclusion we can come up with is the font on the signs had to be too small.”

Some think font sizes alone will not solve the problem. Former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi said, “We have consistently asked for Gun Free Zone signs to be bilingual, and the opposition across the aisle always pushes back. How can a gunman be expected to hold his fire, if he doesn’t know that he isn’t allowed to be shooting in the building?”

Anonymous sources also say recommendations to switch the signage font style to Arial Bold underlined from the current Times New Roman is also on the table. The Commission is expected to have their recommendations in by the end of the month.