Five ways to help your relationship last

May 23rd, 2013

Despite Hollywood’s romanticization of the perfect relationship, many of us are well aware that they take work and patience if you want them to last.

Nobody’s perfect, especially when it comes to relationships; we all react in the heat of the moment at times and can say the wrong things. The key thing to remember is that in a lasting, committed relationship – resilience is crucial. Being resilient in a relationship gives us the ability to work through issues without taking the easy option of throwing up a wall of anger.

The following five qualities can help you keep your relationship in check when obstacles present themselves.

1. Humility

Sometimes in arguments we are right, sometimes we are dead wrong. Humility allows us to surrender the need to be right, to punish our partner or to take the moral high ground (to come across as the ‘good guy’). Humility will set the tone for empathy, listening, understanding and eventually, forgiveness.

2. Patience

While it is tempting to use a quick fix to make the negative feelings go away or reinstate the ‘normal’ behaviour within the relationship, these actions will be no more than a Band-Aid over a gaping wound. Be patient and allow yourselves the time and space for an issue to heal.

3. Perseverance

The depth of your commitment to one another is reflected in your willingness to hang in there during the difficult times, when your relationship may have lost its way.

4. Forgiveness

Making the decision to forgive your partner after a betrayal of trust can be incredibly difficult and may take time, patience and professional guidance. Being 100% honest with yourself and your other half can help to determine whether or not you are able to forgive or if you need to move on.

5. Courage

When all is said and done, your resilience embodies your willingness to put your heart on the line – again and again, even when you risk hurt, rejection and disappointment. This takes immense courage and strength, which we must summon in order to self-correct, self-educate and self-improve in any relationship.

If you feel your relationship could benefit from professional guidance, speaking to a counsellor could help. For more information, please see our Relationship Issues page.