Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Sometimes You Only Need to Listen

I was exiting a Whole Foods when I noticed him. I knew him
from a professional association I once belonged to. It had been nearly a decade
since we had spoken.

I called out his name. He greeted me with a big smile. I sat
down at his table. I asked how he was doing. After exchanging pleasantries, I
asked if he was still writing.I knew he
had written highly-acclaimed nonfiction books as well as some novels.

He indeed was and proceeded to tell me about them. At length.
His jovial tone turned more serious and increasingly strident. He became more
animated and even agitated.

My friend been writing articles and books covering political
issues. His positions were undoubtedly controversial to some, anathema to
others.

While his views on many subjects conflicted with my own, I
listened. I asked questions. I discerned some points where we shared similar
views and noted them.

I didn’t argue with him.

I didn’t contradict him.

I didn’t have to make a point or be right.

I wasn’t thinking about countering each point he made.

I just listened. And learned. And connected with him.

It wasn’t difficult. It wasn’t painful.

I parted ways with my colleague in a good frame of mind. I
felt neither angry nor emotionally triggered.

He suggested that I call him when I’m next in his town to
have dinner. And I will.

A commitment to listening served me well here.
In our polarized times, perhaps it’s the most important commitment we can make
to each other and society at large.

A Little Bit About Me

I develop people. I bask in opportunities to help others to achieve their full potential.

I’m currently pursuing this passion as a Senior Lecturer at the Naval Postgraduate School; the Northern California Director of the Institute of Advanced Advertising Studies; a developer of training programs on a broad range of communications and leadership skills; and an adjunct instructor at University of San Francisco.