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Ignorant (I wish you'd picked a different name - I hate calling anyone that !)

First - PLEASE don't be defensive about comments I make. I'm just trying to help you get some clarity. Defending means you really aren't listening because you have shields up. No change of gaining anything there - right ?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ignorant

Did you notice the username?

Why are you saying I'm the reason the reason he has been repressing this for 15 years? I have only known him for 8. If he is only awkward about this around me, why does he want me to participate?

I never said YOU were a sole reason for anything. But you- at least it seems from your writing - are one MORE - that is uncomfortable with being around male/male sex play.
Why is it important that he's uncomfortable around you - AND that he wants you to participate ?
Think about it..................
He cares about you. He wants to be with you. He wants you on the same page ! He wants YOUR APPROVAL ! And probably more - your excitement.

He may not get it (your stamp of approval). That will be a disappointment but whether it's a fatal disconnect is yet to be determined. Sometimes we can come to respect major differences our partners have even if we will never line up with them. Sometimes we can't/won't.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ignorant

I don't feel I've earned the bigot tag you need me to wear for speaking up about my own awkwardness in hte mix of something he feels awkward about and has for long before he knew me.

Ok - have NO CLUE where you pulled this out of. That's a pretty major example of reading stuff BETWEEN the lines that isn't there. Again, apparently something I've said (or alluded to) has a connection in your own mind to something !
All this is about is that (from what/how you've written) you are threatened my any male/male sexuality with anyone connected to YOU. As long as it's at a distance you are indifferent. So in the end, it may be more of a view of sex/relationships as some competition. You allude to as much in a later post.
If that's true, the issue with homophobia is a bit of a mask because it's just hiding a different problem. But my instinct (whatever that's worth) is that it's a little bit of each - not all one or the other. I think you find homosexuality (male or female) more disgusting than erotic.
THAT"S OK !! You are fully entitled to your own personal opinion. You just have to acknowledge that there is another half of the population that won't agree (or maybe be compatible) with you.

Leaves you two choices.
1> Limit your connections to people who see/feel/think like you do.
2> Take a fresh look, open your mind, try to understand what the other half sees and feels. [/quote]