So a few weeks ago I started with this cold. Every day I was hoping that next morning I would feel better, but within a week’s time, it just got worse. And then I’ve been in and out of it. I tried juicing and antibiotics, chicken soup and acupuncture, vitamins and working from home, hot baths and restful weekends. The bug didn’t seem to be leaving. And I thought, maybe, just maybe, it’s my time to go. Ok people, I am not trying to be dramatic here or anything. But the bug was not going away and, I don’t know about you, I have thoughts in my head all the time.

Also I recently wrote a song that has the following verse:

But I am not afraid to die
You can take me if you like
All my bags are packed and light
I am ready for the ride

As for any compulsive planner, I don’t think it was that unreasonable for me to start planning my own funeral. So here is the list of rules I came up with:
- please no drama; light crying/sobbing is alright
- dress code: bright and festive; comfortable for dancing and jumping around
- funny memories and jokes are ok

Then I started to think about logistics. Nowadays one needs to consider environmental impact of his death (in fact, I found an article “8 ecologically friendly alternative to burial “). Then there are inheritance implications. And don’t forget social media unwinding strategy (you gotta read Bury me on Facebook.) The logistics gave me so much headache that I decided that I’m just not ready yet to deal with it, and I might as well keep living.

By the way, this is how my song ends and I am yet to sing it live:

And I am not afraid to die
But I don’t think it’s yet my time
So let me play and sing and rhyme
And be afraid and be alive.

You went through a low patch in life, we all have these ‘thoughts’ which at the time seems appropriate and not that unusual since we don’t feel well and can’t possibly be our usual ‘alive & kicking’ self. Just as well as we know that it IS just a passing phase. I’ve had a chest infection for six weeks, my 5 yr old granddaughter wondered if I was dying too!! Apparently there is this strange virus going about, and Dr’s have no name for it – just ‘Virus.’ so I could very well have a life-threatening disease…apart from the fact that I managed to cut my large lawn yesterday! So I must be on the mend. I hope, in your case, that people are encouraging you to get better, by telling you how well you’re looking..in fact..that you’re looking fantastic!! have a unique sense of humour, and that your beautiful eyes…well, we won’t go there!! You know what I’m saying,…You need boosting up as to how gorgeous you are!! We’re depending on you to help keep this world spinning!
And I hope my good deed for the day WORKS!

I find this post self-indulgent and dramatic. You weren’t dying, at best you were overworked, and needed rest. People like myself, who are actually facing death, and having to think about what is/will happen when we die soon, aren’t worried about our social media demise- we are worried about simple things like love and loss. I just find this post distasteful- what I wouldn’t give to have the option of either healing, or just taking restful baths and working from home. Life is a gift, don’t spend it dreaming of the day you are going to actually die. It’s very uneventful.

People have different views on this, because no two people will read it in the same sense. We are, after all different, you will never find two people who are exactly alike despite same attraction to some things. I always try to think ‘Walk a mile in my shoes,’ We wouldn’t want to send someone into a deep depression, just because we ‘think’ we’re right. Anyway I don’t think anyone wished for it to be taken too seriously. And how refreshing to hear good-humoured comments.

Misha Lyuve - Happiness - Official Video

Privilege of being Unhappy

Today I woke up feeling unhappy. I identified at least three reasons that would explain this phenomenon: I had a difficult week at work; I wasn’t anywhere close to where I wanted to be in respect to the $1,000,000 fundraising goal for Worldwide Orphans; I haven’t written a blog posting in four weeks.
In my introspection it became clear that there was no one else to blame for any of theseread more