SAN JOSE — Grace Community Church discovered last week that re-naming its nursery workers “Visioneers” won’t attract new volunteers.

“We thought the new language would excite people,” says the nursery coordinator and author of the “Visioneering” campaign. “Apparently people saw through the bald appeal for nursery help.”

The church suffers from an on-going crisis where the same people watch the children week after week while parents enjoy worship services, Christian education courses and fellowship over free donuts and coffee.

One nursery worker, Maggie, has been called out of service every week this year to help the over-run 2-year-olds class.

“It’s always an emergency,” she says, rocking two crying children.

The coordinator had hoped that calling nursery workers Visioneers and giving them new Visoneer vests would gin up interest. But her pitch about “Envisioning Christ into the next generation” fell on deaf ears.

“You won’t get me into that madhouse,” said Bob Shiflett, expressing the general sentiment. •