Jan 29, 2009

Decision-making

He Died with a Felafel In His Hand has now been cast.

By crumbs it was difficult - so many talented people auditioned, and I always feel terribly bad when I don't "include" people. It's like I fear them hating me for ever and ever, when in fact, it's a play, not a lifeboat off the Titanic, and actors are reasonably used to rejection.

In the end for me, it came down to gut instinct and physical appearance. Not being shallow there; but I want this play to have a good range of physical types. No point having three petite brunettes when I can have a petite brunette, a blonde bombshell and a curvy redhead (which I have; plus a curvy brunette and a olive-skinned cutie). The guys range from blokey to alternative, which is excellent.

It made me think about decision-making. I'm generally terrible at it; I'm always the last to order at a restaurant. So how do you make decisions? Do you go with guts, or write up comprehensive notes weighing the pros or cons? Do you ask people for advice, or rely totally on your own rational brain? And how different is the decision-making process between simple stuff, and IMPORTANT issues?

And a dovetail question. Felafel has its first rehearsal this coming Sunday. The cast are well-aware by now that I am reasonably insane. My tirades against "wanky actor types" and calls of "cue dildo smackdown dance number!" during the audition process has pretty much taken care of that.

But I wonder if I may be able to turn it around by adopting some sort of affectation to appear much more hip, cool and with it than I actually am. Dark sunglasses, perhaps? A skewiff tie? A large coffee, like Mark Harmon from NCIS? Herbal cigarillos? Black fingernail polish?

I love the notion that you smoke herbal cigarillos. I reckon extend that. Swig constantly from a bottle of faux-bourbon that you can get a Woolworths. Then slowly get drunker and more abusive through each rehearsal.

When it comes to making decisions I wait for my body to give me a strong reaction then I don't question it. Flit my eye across the menu then the moment I see something that makes me go "OH!" I stop.

All good directors must wear berrets, smoke cigarettes through extra-long cigarette holders and speak in overly exaggerated French accents. ("Non, non, NON! I vill not tell zou again!"... which may, in fact, translate as German. I've always been bad with Europe).

As far as decision-making goes, I've never really been too wishy-washy. I have no idea what it is, but I tend to back myself pretty hard once I've decided. I'm generally not panged by post-decision guilt or regret.

Not to forget the Canvas Chair with "DIRECTOR" written across the back.The Wah as a midget chained and frothing would be ideal. Jack Boots? Johdpurs?Don't forget to call everyone:DAAAHLINGThe list is endless The more the loonier is obviously the way to go

Spare the cattle prod, spoil the actor thats what i say. I'm sure that hughsey will lend you one of hers....You never kno soem of the girls might be into it (just let me know which, before I meet the cast!!!)

And now back to the Show of the momentPROGNOSIS DEEAAAAATHLast night thing hotted up a great deal, even though it snowed throughout the performance Dr Mangold staggered off, a broken man.Nurse Buble raced after him, unzipping frantically, to facilitate repairs Dr LeStrange, fiddling at bellybutton height reeled after apparently to consumate his desireThe unanswered question in this apparent menage a tois is... did Dr Le Strange finally get consumated and...if so... who was the consumatee?Dr Mangold experienced the exquisite joy of being groped by Nurse Buble and a chimpanzee.The question was would Mangold's mangled ManGold ever be serviceable again?The answer to this question was yes as Nurse Buble and Dr Mangold finally got it on.In a wheelchair no less

Geez, I didn't realise Nurse Buble was such a floozy. Which raises the question - am I TOO much in character... or not ENOUGH?!?!?

Nurse Floozy!

Thanks for that recap, Ancient Man - you'll be replacing David Stratton on "At the Movies" any day now. Try not to annoy Margaret Pomeranz too much. She becomes Margaret Pomeranian and bites you on the ankles.

Dear GC In character...?Too much...?Not enough..?.As an answer to your Floozy question, I must point out that I was not the who had to have the word "blow" explained to me by Dr Mangold while attempting to revive the Lutheran priest last night. Replace David StrattonThank you, but no thank you.Dear Margaret would laugh once too often and, before I could stop myself, my hands would be round her neck......Purely to cut off the sound, of course. Is it just me or do all of you listening to Margaret's laugh and get the feeling that you are hearing the end of a car smash, just before the bang.