May 1, 2006

Poem writing cowboy

Last night I talked to that guy again, we talked about 2 hours. We had a discussion about everything from mixed signals and why he doesn’t really date and singles sites and all that stuff. We talked about a lot.

He’s a nice guy, he really is, a little smart-ass, but that’s a good thing, too. Most of the guys who contact me get in touch with me from the singles sites, so its easy to know we are at least on the same page, but when someone contacts me and its just random, its hard to tell what he wants. I admit I enjoy talking with him very much, and we’ve hung out a few times but just did more talking.

I think he’s a good looking guy. He has these amazing colored eyes that are blue/gray, brown and greenish, its captivating, like someone I met once with one brown eye and one green eye….I could’ve been hypnotized by those eyes, lol. Anyway, he said up until a certain age his eyes were always brown, but now they change. I just know they are crazy-cool eyes to look at.

We talked about what we want in relationships, and here is what I said, I want someone who will be my friend, my love and my lover, someone who will allow me to enjoy my interests and I will allow him to enjoy his, and try to learn about his interests more so I can be a supportive person to it, someone who wants to cuddle and kiss as much as I do, someone who doesn’t care about the weight because they care about the person underneath it all, someone who is responsible and family oriented, someone I can just be myself 100% with and not be expected to change. I believe in opposites attract and I believe in growing old with someone. I believe life is handed challenges for a reason, that God either wants us to learn from them, or they are put there to lead us in the direction, we just have to be open to what is given to us.

Anyway, so I’ll remain getting to know him as friends, he is a nice guy and I do enjoy our conversations. But, for those of you who thought “just maybe” on this one, the hints he was dropping were telling me he just was looking to talk to someone new, make a new friend, but I do admit, I was a bit disappointed, but hey, a friend who lives closer for a change, instead of out in the city.

Someone’s gotta want to be more than just friends, lol. I’ll just have to wait for him to find me, lol.

Remember my ex-fiance I was talking about? He e-mailed again, said “I can’t lie, I’ve thought about you through the years.” Last time we talked on the phone was 12 years ago, when we broke up because he cheated on me while we were engaged. Willie also said he thought of me through the years, and I know I thought about him. So, what is it about me that guys who say they are happily married and I believe they are, what is it that makes them think about me and contact me, but they didn’t want to stay when the time was there? What makes Jim want to mention something like kissing me….yet he doesn’t want to date me? Am I doing something wrong? lol. My friend Bill said the fact that these guys want to be my friend (himself included he said) shows something about my character, and I should be glad for that. I guess I am in a way….I’d just like something to go beyond a friendship, mean more. But, a friendship isn’t bad, either. I know, lol, not trying to have a pity party, just stating an observation of mine.