I’m feeling stressed and looking for some encouragement. First, I do not want to offend any of you brave fighters with my questions, I ask my questions here because I know there is a wealth of knowledge on this board! I posted a couple of weeks ago about a 5mm precancerous tubular Adenoma that was removed from my ascending colon. I had a colonoscopy because of bowel issues and pain that lasted for several months. I’m 42 years old and have no history of colon cancer in my family. The polyp was removed and the GI doctor said to return in 5 years for follow up. Some of the members on here suggested I look into genetic testing. I’ve checked with my PCP and the GI doc and they both said it’s not indicated. I did request a follow colonoscopy I. 3 years instead of 5 and both agreed that was reasonable.

I’ve been doing some research on Dr. Google and I’ve stressed myself out! The pathology report indicated I had a tubular Adenoma. When the GI doctor removed it, he said that the appearance was sessile. Can a tubular Adenoma be sessile as well? Second, I’ve read that Adenomas in the ascending colon can be quite aggressive and bad news, does location really matter? Should I be stressing myself out over this? Both my GI and my PCP are not concerned, but I keep thinking what if I wouldn’t have had the colonoscopy, would it have developed into cancer. I know no one can answer that question, but I’m a mess over this. I guess i just feel so alone, my husband does not think it’s a big deal and i know of no one else that has had a precancerous polyp at my age. I tend to think worst case scenario, maybe that’s what is driving my fear. I just need somewhere to vent with people that may understand, so thank you!

Receiving a health-scare like you have brings you face-to-face with your own mortality and does your head in as we say in Australia. You now have a 'before' polyp and 'after' polyp divide down the middle of your life and it's a Big. Bloody. Deal. to you - it's your body.

It's grown something nasty and can you ever trust your body again. Finding out one's body can pull this sort of ninja shit is discombobulating. It's easy for your husband, PCP and GI doctor to be chilled - AINT THEIR BODY and are they all males........might be a bit of gender stereotyping that is stressing, but don't you worry yourpretty little head about that.

The reality is that you DID have a colonoscopy and the funny-looking-growth was removed. Focusing on alternate outcomes is trippy and the realm of sci-fi fantasy, being an exercise in pure speculation. However, youmight imaginate a scenario that happens to somebody else and that comes in handy as you'll be already prepared in how to deal. Ruminating does have it's benefits. It can detract from being truly engaged withthe wonderful outcome that do you have. However, you've had the bejebus scared out of you and you don't have cancer andthere's no one you can talk to about that because you don't have cancer and you are expected to get on with itbecause you don't have cancer. Don't miss a beat, shrug it off, count your lucky stars, rock up for a colonoscopy in 3 years and you know, get on with it because you don't have cancer and there are others out there (and in here) who are in far diarrhoea straits.

So the way I see it, which is an Aussie way (upside down), is that you are seeking to know how to move on from this Major-Health-Scare which is akin to being the person in a Blitz who lives in the one house left standing in the street thatwasn't demolished....miraculous! There's the relief and then the realization that you don't quite belong, but you are traumatized all the same. My suggestion would be that you connect with a counsellor and work through it with a person who isn't emotionally invested in what-could-have-happened. I reckon your husband received a pretty darn good scare as well andtalking about what could have happened is probably scaring him more. You're like Jason with the chainsaw...

Have you had a good howl of relief yet? Crying is highly underrated as a coping mechanism. Tears of joy, let em rip!

3 yers wait is fine, the polyp was so great looking and so small. And when your original in the 5 year wait, 3 is nothing to stress about.

I understand the stress and anxiety I had/have the same, i lost around 6 kilos, was afraid to eat anything remotely unhealthy, was afraid of doing anything that could trigger a new polyp, then ended up eating nothing! it’s becoming better now around 4 months after my last check up, but I needed therapy, and tears, no shame in that. I proudly ate some pizza yesterday

Ps try to stay away from Dr Google, he/she is a drama queen and like my therapist says it’s only keep on confirming your brain that it’s something to fear and stress about.

KimT wrote:You don’t have cancer. You have much to be thankful for. Don’t borrow trouble by consulting Dr Google. A repeat colonoscopy in 3 years is a very reasonable follow up.

KimT you are so right, I have so much to be thankful for. I think MaggieNell summed up my state of mind perfectly. I was thrown a curveball, before my colonoscopy the GI doctor said we will take a good look but I suspect we will not find anything because of your age. When I woke he was there again, except he said we found a polyp, which is unusual for someone your age, but don’t lose sleep about it. Then 3 days later when pathology came back he said, it was a precancerous polyp. Be sure to tell any siblings to get screened for polyps and cancer and come back in 5 years.

It is a lot to process.....yes it’s not cancer, but it was precancerous, that’s scary, as MaggieNell said because I know that my body can now grow these things. Now I question, how quickly, will they be caught in time? Again I don’t want to offend anyone that has been diagnosed with cancer, my situation doesn’t compare, I’m just scared because this was a curveball I wasn’t expecting and I’m not sure what to do with it.... Thanks for your response.

Maggie Nell wrote:Receiving a health-scare like you have brings you face-to-face with your own mortality and does your head in as we say in Australia. You now have a 'before' polyp and 'after' polyp divide down the middle of your life and it's a Big. Bloody. Deal. to you - it's your body.

It's grown something nasty and can you ever trust your body again. Finding out one's body can pull this sort of ninja shit is discombobulating. It's easy for your husband, PCP and GI doctor to be chilled - AINT THEIR BODY and are they all males........might be a bit of gender stereotyping that is stressing, but don't you worry yourpretty little head about that.

The reality is that you DID have a colonoscopy and the funny-looking-growth was removed. Focusing on alternate outcomes is trippy and the realm of sci-fi fantasy, being an exercise in pure speculation. However, youmight imaginate a scenario that happens to somebody else and that comes in handy as you'll be already prepared in how to deal. Ruminating does have it's benefits. It can detract from being truly engaged withthe wonderful outcome that do you have. However, you've had the bejebus scared out of you and you don't have cancer andthere's no one you can talk to about that because you don't have cancer and you are expected to get on with itbecause you don't have cancer. Don't miss a beat, shrug it off, count your lucky stars, rock up for a colonoscopy in 3 years and you know, get on with it because you don't have cancer and there are others out there (and in here) who are in far diarrhoea straits.

So the way I see it, which is an Aussie way (upside down), is that you are seeking to know how to move on from this Major-Health-Scare which is akin to being the person in a Blitz who lives in the one house left standing in the street thatwasn't demolished....miraculous! There's the relief and then the realization that you don't quite belong, but you are traumatized all the same. My suggestion would be that you connect with a counsellor and work through it with a person who isn't emotionally invested in what-could-have-happened. I reckon your husband received a pretty darn good scare as well andtalking about what could have happened is probably scaring him more. You're like Jason with the chainsaw...

Have you had a good howl of relief yet? Crying is highly underrated as a coping mechanism. Tears of joy, let em rip!

MaggieNell, thank you so much! You perfectly summed up exactly what I’m feeling....it is so hard to process. I don’t want to spend the next three years worried about what is growing in my colon, wondering what the next exam will bring. It is so scary knowing that my body is capable of this. I have no family history of colon cancer or really even anyone with polyps (although I’m not sure if all of my family has been screened). This was a curveball I wasn’t expecting. Yes, it was precancerous, and yes it was completely removed but as you said, my alternate scenarios and ruminating are causing anxiety. I love your example of the only house standing on the street, I need to move on but I don’t quite know where I belong and I have been traumatized. I have been journaling and praying about it, i think talking with a therapist is the next step.

Again, I cannot thank you enough for your understanding, this is exactly what I’m feeling. While I should be relieved, I’m just plain scared...

3 yers wait is fine, the polyp was so great looking and so small. And when your original in the 5 year wait, 3 is nothing to stress about.

I understand the stress and anxiety I had/have the same, i lost around 6 kilos, was afraid to eat anything remotely unhealthy, was afraid of doing anything that could trigger a new polyp, then ended up eating nothing! it’s becoming better now around 4 months after my last check up, but I needed therapy, and tears, no shame in that. I proudly ate some pizza yesterday

Ps try to stay away from Dr Google, he/she is a drama queen and like my therapist says it’s only keep on confirming your brain that it’s something to fear and stress about.

Thank you for your response and the information Pemba, and I’m so thankful that I’m not the only one with these feelings. I too have been stressed about my diet, it’s really the only “risk factor” I have which is why this is so scary. I have been trying to up my fiber and started taking a baby aspirin. But I don’t and never have smoked, I drink socially but never excessively, I’m not overweight, I don’t eat a lot of red meat, it’s so stressful not knowing what to change. Maybe that’s my problem, I want to do something to make sure I don’t develop more polyps but I think it’s really out of my hands. That’s the scary part for me, I have zero control over this....

Im glad to hear that your anxiety about this has gotten better with time. I am a worrier in general and suffer from anxiety so I think this situation has awoken my anxiety beast.

Since 1992, I have worked as a consultant in the management of panic-anxiety disorders and havea few qualifications in allied health modalities under my belt. I know a thing or two about defusinghealth anxieties and just from reading your first post here, I can see how a sequence of events haveticked off your bodymind, so it's released the Kraken.

Meanwhile, I was reading about these giant rats that can sniff out TB and how critters can smellout cancer. I have been scoffing an awful lot of fruit-cake this last week.....that's my excuse....butwouldn't it be great if we could do away with colonoscopies and the *gag* prep and have a two-foot longmarsupial scamper over our bodies? (gowned of course so it wouldn't tickle)

Mark Twain is a good anxiety-buster: 'I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.'

Yes, I'm a Google person and scare myself regularly. I've got my surveillance colonoscopy in a week and I'm already stressing about it. The one three years ago was clear and I'm told that it's unlikely to be different this time. Tumours don't grow that fast. I had a major scare and don't seem to have got over it. Any stress management techniques? I'm 72 and should be able to cope, but this next week may be very tense! I'm already avoiding food with pips and reading the prep instructions, which doesn't help either! From a not very brave Kiwi... Best wishes to all and hopefully a Happy New Year. 9 1/2 hours away now here.

Have you thought about getting a script for Xanax or Valium (I'm not up on the names of the current anti-anxiety meds)just for the short-term to get you over the anxiety hump?

As it has been 3 years and this surveillance colonoscopy was 'supposed' to have happened in October, but I see you werestill recovering from an open cholecystectomy, have you been back at all to the clinic/hospital since the last time? Obviouslyyour bum isn't going to be over the moon about having a plastic glow-worm snaking through what is left of your large intestine and is sending out the 'bright light, bright light' alert! I assume you have your own transport, so have a think aboutgoing on 'recce' to the clinic and discharge some of the anxiety with a non-medical nose around. Focus on the 'after'such as this time next week the colonoscopy will be done and dusted and I will know where I stand which situates youinto a mindset of empowerment.

Whatever comes down the pike, you have been through worse. You've got your 'Perfect Storm' already on the board and theodds have really been in your favour.

You received a major scare that you don't seem to have got over - I would ask, what did you expect 'got over it' to look/feel like?

I had a similar experience to yours and from the get-go I looked at myself as getting a streamlined body. No more worrying aboutif my appendix was going to try and kill me because that joker got whipped out as part of the right hemi!

Right now, every muscle fibre in your being is going to be tensing up so I recommend shaking your booty and doing some dancing,getting some fun movement, spontaenous joy! Pulling from your cultural resources, performing a haka to get your mana charged up is what I do when I have to do something I'd rather not. (I used to live in New Zealand and was part of a whanau that was supporting a chap with end stage lung cancer).

Forget about being brave - just rock up with all your scared weird wobbles and be open to the experience of being human with abody that is like a horse you have to catch before you can saddle it up and then it's going to corkscrew and spin you around untilyou become a Centaur!

Half man, half horse: licence to shit in the street.

So what date is your colonoscopy scheduled for so we can count down the sleeps....

Thanks Maggie Neil. Good of you to reply. My colonoscopy is next Tuesday pm. I'm already watching what I eat. I will see my nurse next month, 11 months after the last appt. I do have some Lorazapam tablets to shut me up, but driving is not advised. They are two years old but should work if I had to take one. They were originally for dentist appts so I didn't throw up because of nerves! Yes, 72 year old kiwis are allowed to have nerves I guess. I've spoken by ph to the nurses at the clinic. They are reassuring and joke about 'bum fun!' Yes, well .... I'll try some of your techniques. I can't do a Haka unfortunately. I don't really know why I'm stressing over this, the last one was fine. It might be that if this one is clear, I can expect the next 11 months to be ok too, until the magic 5 years is reached. It's the waiting and wishing it was all over probably. I know I'm not alone in this, but others I have talked to who've had the same thing sometimes just take it in their stride. As you said, the worst was over 4 years ago. And so far, I've been ok with all the tests. Happy New Year to you and everyone!

You know, I used to be soooo terrified of needles at the dentist that during my childhoodI had every filling done without benefit of pain relief.

My poor dentist I gave him ptsd. HIs brother was sailor John Bertrand who skippered Australia II in the early 80s to snatch the America's Cup. Every time I watch a yacht race (and I live 500m fromthe bay) I get an image of sweat popping out on my dentist's forehead and the look of fear in his eyes.

Back in the 60s there was no Fear-of-Needle phobia programs like there have been Fear-of-Flying programsrunning for some years now, which begs the question: are there Scanxiety programs or is this something thateach person has to face and conquer on their own?

I can't do the Haka either - I just make it up as I go, slap my arms and thighs, stick my tongue out, make ugly facesat myself in the mirror......hope the wind doesn't change!

The magic 5 years, eh? I can remember, and maybe you might as well, that back in the 70s, when you'd be going to job interviews, the bog-standard question had been : Where do you see yourself in 5 years time? Seemsto me that the world is stuck on FIVE - there are other bloody numbers ya know!!

Fuck the five years crap is what I say. I am not going to have my life drip-fed out to me in five year allotments.

Found this as I was researching something else - for your Mount Everest tomorrow week away. You'll just have to getyour Tenzing Norgay on....

Rarely have I felt like I'm in the presence of greatness, but Sir Edmund Hillary was an exception. Interviewing him in 1997 in his Auckland home, I was struck by the part of his story where, still 300 metres from the summit, they come face-to-face with a seemingly insurmountable cliff-face. He and Tenzing Norgay had every reason to turn back. They didn't.

Instead of focusing on the goal, of getting to the top of Everest – which now seemed crushingly unattainable – Sir Edmund told me he focused every fibre of his being on getting his left foot into one crag and, that accomplished, doubled up to focus on getting his right foot into a small cleft. And so on. I know, I know, twee and trite, perhaps, but thus was Everest conquered and I have used it ever since – put your energy into what can be done and keep moving.

The first study on “Scanxiety” came out in 2016. I don’t think that’s an official word yet, but it’s definitely on the “street” where the people are real. Apparently 83% of people have some experience of pre-scan anxiety (or scanxiety). And it's hardly surprizing. That one scan could kick off on an entirely “sh$tty year”, or give you another chance of freedom.

Yay!! Finally, I've broken out of the minority into the majority! Whoo Hoo........gonna put that in my pipe and smoke it.