Today, The Baltimore Ravens unveiled a giant statue of one of the Ravens’ most beloved and well-known figures, linebacker Ray Lewis. Well known for his eccentric and intense personality on and off the field, Lewis was always able to slice his way through offenses, racking up a total of over 2,000 tackles across his fearsome career. Lewis was also incisive, direct, and always sharp on defense, assaulting offenses with over 40 career sacks and 30 career interceptions. He was even able to stab his way through to the end zone occasionally, puncturing the goal line 3 times for defensive touchdowns. Experts agree that Lewis is likely to make the cut as soon as his Hall of Fame eligibility starts.

Reached for comment, Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti expressed gratitude to Lewis and to all Ravens fans, saying that Lewis “was everything we could have looked for in a player, in a fan of the franchise, and in a citizen of Baltimore. In fact, I would go as far as to say that Ray Lewis might just be the quintessential Baltimorean”.

Your comment is a monument to your ignorance of what happened in Atlanta.

Two dudes jumped Ray’s friends, broke bottles over their heads. Ray’s friends stabbed them. They all ran away. Ray destroyed his clothes because he was scared — he hadn’t done anything wrong but still had a lot to lose. Ray later cooperated fully with the prosecution. The jury ruled self defense for Ray’s friends. Case over, the dead guys were the bad guys.

I know “Ray Lewis killed two people!” makes you a hit at Pittsburgh parties, but fuck man, move on. At least find a true story to laugh about.

I think it’s important to note here that I am a Ravens fan, and pretty much everyone around here knows it. However, I know how to get a rise from my fellow kommentariat, and maybe contribute something that might make them laugh, because that’s the only point of commenting.

@packman_jon

It still burns some people that we got almost no bandwagon fans after the super bowl. Just another sign of DISRESPECT!

@Troll-So-Hard University White Doug is not a man. He’s what happens when lab experiments go wrong. Seriously this is how dumb you are it’s AIDS not in lower case. But then when you’ve never had intercourse with a female, have no friends, dropped out of school in the fourth grade and work at Dunkin it’s to be expected.

The Ravens plan on continuing to honor Ray Lewis by putting a sculpture of one of his teammates tackling an opposing player in front of Ray, while a third sculpture a few feet away is of a scorekeeper giving Ray partial credit for the tackle.

You all know I’m a Ravens fan, and I don’t apologize for that. I have to say that the past two seasons without Ray as “the face of the Ravens” has been refreshing. Ray Rice, not so refreshing. Joe Flacco, as refreshing as a glass of room temperature skim milk.

Arian Doug is right, people; we need to stop this bullshit and devote our lives to visiting websites devoted to things we don’t like and call the participants turds, asswipes, etc. It is the only path to a rich and full life.