Geisha School Dropouttag:typepad.com,2003:weblog-15473662012-11-16T13:53:18-08:00Chronicling the glorious indignities of motherhood, by Julie KangTypePadRiding with Abe and Louietag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00e54fdd46f48833017d3dc7f21f970c2012-11-16T13:53:18-08:002012-11-16T22:36:03-08:00Today, I took an early lunch break to volunteer at my local Meals on Wheels chapter. Basically, Meals on Wheels cooks and delivers hot lunches and cold dinners to clients in the local community every weekday, mostly to seniors and the terminally ill. Since it was my first time, I...Julie Kang

Today, I took an early lunch break to volunteer at my local Meals on Wheels chapter. Basically, Meals on Wheels cooks and delivers hot lunches and cold dinners to clients in the local community every weekday, mostly to seniors and the terminally ill.

Since it was my first time, I was invited to shadow an established driver/deliverer pair: Abe and Louie (not their real names, although their real names are MUCH cooler). Louie, the driver, was probably in his seventies and walked with a cane, so that made him unable to haul the meals from the van to the door. That job was left to Abe, who was probably pushing 90 and so adorably tiny, I couldn't help but be surprised when he introduced himself to me as the muscle of this operation.

I was always taught to revere my elders by doing things for them, so I hopped around like an overzealous toady, trying to carry things for Abe. To his credit, he didn't seem annoyed when he reassured me he was totally able to handle the coolers himself.

Our route stopped at 6 houses, and my eyes misted over at every stop. Not from pity, mind you, but from being greeted and thanked with smiles of such brilliance and sincerity, I couldn't look at them head-on.

(Let me stop for a second and ask you: when was the last time someone was really, really happy to see you? I know my kids do this sometimes, but coming from people who were not obligated to like me, it felt amazing.)

There were couples who ate their meals together in the dining room, singletons hanging out with caregivers, one young veteran battling cancer. Some houses, I was informed that we were the only source of human contact they will get for the day. I felt honored to be invited into their homes. I fell in love with every single one of them.

At the end of the route, there were a couple extra jugs of milk and juice, and Louie thrust them into my arms, demanding that my kids drink them. I felt my eyes well up in gratitude, and I didn't know why until now: I may not be bedridden or ill, but working from home, I have become a bit isolated myself. Therefore, it is not often that I come in contact with pure human kindness in such quantities. And now I also realize why I felt compelled to sign up for this every Friday morning from here on out: to bask in more of it, and for the opportunity to pay that kindness forward.

Discussing Charity with Isaac and Emitag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00e54fdd46f488330163028a9ff6970d2012-03-07T15:08:50-08:002012-03-15T10:08:46-07:00Instilling philanthropy in two kids who have never really wanted for anything has proven difficult. Emi and Isaac have always had enough to eat, belongings to call their own, and a strong and active support group. Poverty, malnourishment, and chronic illness are abstract concepts to them still, thank goodness, but...Julie Kang

Instilling philanthropy in two kids who have never really wanted for anything has proven difficult. Emi and Isaac have always had enough to eat, belongings to call their own, and a strong and active support group. Poverty, malnourishment, and chronic illness are abstract concepts to them still, thank goodness, but now that they are 5 and 8, I am wondering how to show that we are indeed one of the lucky families, and it is our duty to give back to the communities who support us and to other communities who do not have the resources we do.

One obvious strategy is to lead by example. I do give a regular amount to charity every month, but have yet to include the kids in doing so. Letting the kids in on that would at least remind them to think about others on a regular basis, but ideally, I would like Emi and Isaac to figure out the causes that are important to them.

To this end, I joined a community called Members Unite, where every month, each member donates $5 and votes for their favorite philanthropic projects, American Idol style. Right now, the initial 9 contenders have been announced for March, and the winning project will receive $5,000! Each family gives the equivalent of a drop in the bucket, but when united, we can make a real impact. True democracy in action, no?

I showed Emi and Isaac the site today, and much to my surprise, they really caught on to the concept very quickly. It really helped that the projects were very well-curated, offering a variety of different causes: mental health, education, housing, and the environment, to name a few, as well as choices between domestic and international organizations.

Right now, Emi is leaning towards a project called "Give Infants a Lease on Life," which will provide formula to malnourished infants in Guatamala. If this project wins, they will provide 20 infants with milk for 500 days - over a year’s worth of sustenance.

Isaac really likes "Help Plant 5,000 Trees," which will help the Nature Conservancy plant 1 BILLION trees back into the Brazilian rainforest. If this project is selected, they will purchase 5,000 native trees for the Atlantic Forest in Brazil.

Isn't that really neat to know? My heart, it seriously is fit to burst.

Even though our $5 this month is subsidized by Members Unite, we are definitely going to continue this in the months and years to come, and will post about this more in the future. I totally encourage you to join, so we can make an impact on people's lives together!

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For a limited time, Members Unite is offering my community a 50% off discount on the annual membership fee of $25! Use code “WELOVEMOMS” when you sign up!

Happy Valentine's Day! You are Beautiful.tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00e54fdd46f48833014e5f37b19c970c2011-02-14T10:39:30-08:002011-02-14T10:42:15-08:00Nope, no snark here. Just a simple message for all the ladies in the house tonight: Every time this video is played, 4 cents will be donated to Becky's Fund, a non-profit whose slogan is "Freedom from domestic violence. It's our right." How gorgeous is that? So, watch it multiple...Julie Kang
<div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"><p>Nope, no snark here. &nbsp;Just a simple message for all the ladies in the house tonight:</p>
<p>
<object style="height: 309px; width: 500px;" width="500" height="309">
<param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/7vVWvJQjGJs?version=3" />
<param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" />
<param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="500" height="309" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/7vVWvJQjGJs?version=3" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed>
</object>
</p>
<p>Every time this video is played, 4 cents will be donated to <a href="http://www.beckysfund.org/cms/" target="_blank">Becky's Fund</a>, a non-profit whose slogan is "Freedom from domestic violence. &nbsp;It's our right." &nbsp;How gorgeous is that? &nbsp;So, watch it multiple times, feel the smile grow on your face, then share the video with your friends. &nbsp;They will definitely appreciate the message.</p>
<p>(Big props to <a href="http://www.bigwowo.com/2011/02/beautiful-happy-valentines-day/" target="_blank">bigWOWO</a>&nbsp;for the heads-up!)</p></div>
Wordless Weekend: Blessedtag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00e54fdd46f48833013488c073ec970c2010-11-07T09:57:00-08:002010-11-07T09:57:00-08:00Julie Kang

Beggars Can Be Chooserstag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00e54fdd46f488330133f4e9c9b7970b2010-10-07T11:48:22-07:002010-10-07T11:50:30-07:00Isaac is in an accelerated class this year, a kind of pre-GATE program called PALS. The teacher has a reputation for being very regimented and no-nonsense, especially with typical boy behavior like horseplay, daydreaming, and overall space cadet-ness. We were nervous to say the least because Isaac is, as they...Julie Kang

Isaac is in an accelerated class this year, a kind of pre-GATE program called PALS. The teacher has a reputation for being very regimented and no-nonsense, especially with typical boy behavior like horseplay, daydreaming, and overall space cadet-ness. We were nervous to say the least because Isaac is, as they say, "all boy," and ideally we'd like to postpone any experience with teacher hardassery until much later. But a lot of good kids were also in this class, so we figured we'd might as well go with the flow.

Possibly in response to this reputation, this teacher received an overwhelming amount of volunteers and supplies. All 25 kids had at least one parent signed up in the classroom helper rotation, which then prohibited any single parent from working in the classroom more than once every two weeks. It tickles me to see how ultra-motivated, slightly-type-A parents respond to a possible challenge. Kill the teacher with not just kindness, but with TOO MUCH STUFF. I love it!

However, despite all this outpouring of time and resources, our class still doesn't have a Head Room Parent (aka Head Room Mom, since a lot of the work is during work hours, it usually falls upon the stay at home moms). No one's stepped forward to become the chief parent representative for this class, and I am guessing it's out of fear of this teacher. No one relishes the thought of working for a micromanager, even a rumored micromanager, especially for free.

Because of this lack, I was tapped by the teacher to create the class directory...oh, and by the way, can I make it look super-cute by Back to School Night? Why yes, Back to School Night is tomorrow, but it's TOTALLY FINE if I had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING by then. Point taken, lady!

I didn't mind the task. I work with data everyday and love to organize it. I spent a good couple hours that evening and had fun. Then I got the idea that hey, maybe I could be the head room mom, as long as the work can be done after "real work" hours. Other moms started to encourage me as well, but I still hesitated until one day, 4 weeks into the school year, the situation just got embarrassing. I walked into the classroom and volunteered for the job.

I didn't know what kind of reaction I was going to receive, but I definitely didn't expect this:

"Thank you so much for stepping up, you are so sweet, but your face is telling me something. You don't have to do it if you don't want to."

Wait a second, why would I come in here and volunteer if I didn't want to? "I just think this decision was a sober one for me. I was concerned if I was going to have enough time to devote to it, and I decided yes, I will make the time."

"No, really, you don't have to if you don't want to."

"I do."

"Well, I have 6 moms who are interested in being room parents, but not head room parent. Why don't I bug one of them to step up to the plate?"

"Uh, I don't think any of them wanted to be head, but I suppose that could change with a personal appeal from you."

"Yeah, why don't we do that? You're such a sweetheart!"

I walked out of the classroom so dazed, I forgot to take Isaac with me. Oh. My. God. Did I just get rejected for an obviously open volunteer position? Why yes, yes I did. D'oh!

Believe it or not, this isn't the worst occupational rejection I've ever experienced. The worst was applying for a position at the on-campus Jamba Juice and not getting called in for an interview. I asked one of my best friends, who was a MANAGER at that very store, what happened, and he hemmed and hawed and said there were lots of really qualified applicants, they couldn't call everyone in. THAT hurt.

A Worthy Reminder: Save Connortag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00e54fdd46f488330120a7f37467970b2010-01-20T11:00:37-08:002010-01-20T12:19:00-08:00Connor is a 5-year-old boy of Korean descent who needs to find a bone marrow matching donor. Please go to bethematch.org to find out how to register with the national bone marrow program to potentially be a lifesaver for Connor or other people. Asian Americans are notoriously underrepresented in the...Julie Kang

Please go to bethematch.org
to find out how to register with the national bone marrow program to
potentially be a lifesaver for Connor or other people. Asian Americans
are notoriously underrepresented in the registry, so it is especially
important for us to get out there and heed the call of
duty! All it takes is to show up, get the inside of your cheek
swabbed, and they'll be able to get your marrow type from there.

Even
if you have been swabbed before and believe you are registered, please
think about whether your contact info has changed since then and update
it. You can just go to this page
and submit the approximate location and date (for example, I registered
on-campus at Stanford in 1996) and they will find you and give you your
donor ID as well as update your contact info. I couldn't believe they
found me, but they apparently keep some clean records!

Frederick Douglass on Haititag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00e54fdd46f488330120a7d0d82f970b2010-01-13T20:00:43-08:002010-01-13T20:00:43-08:00Until she spoke no Christian nation had abolished negro slavery. Until she spoke no Christian nation had given to the world an organized effort to abolish slavery. Until she spoke the slave ship, followed by hungry sharks, greedy to devour the dead and dying slaves flung overboard to feed them,...Julie Kang

Until she spoke no Christian nation had abolished negro slavery.

Until she spoke no Christian nation had given to the world an organized effort to abolish slavery.

Until she spoke the slave ship, followed by hungry sharks, greedy to devour the dead and dying slaves flung overboard to feed them, ploughed in peace the South Atlantic painting the sea with the Negro's blood.

Until she spoke, the slave trade was sanctioned by all the Christian nations of the world, and our land of liberty and light included.

Men made fortunes by this infernal traffic, and were esteemed as good Christians, and the standing types and representations of the Saviour of the World.

Until Haiti spoke, the church was silent, and the pulpit was dumb.

Slave traders lived and slave-traders died.

Funeral sermons were preached over them, and of them it was said that they died in the triumphs of the Christian faith and went to heaven among the just.

If you are also thinking about Haiti and want to help, please donate money to relief organizations such as the Red Cross, Unicef, or Doctors without Borders now and a month from now, and possibly every month thereafter. They are estimating 100,000 dead, and their infrastructure is shattered to the point where there are no hospitals, no schools, no government buildings...they are going to need a lot of support to get back on their feet again.