"Lieutenant Thoma, Corporal Asgard's hitting me!""Dammit, if you Dogheads don't stop fighting, I'm coming back there and kicking you out of the dropship myself!"-Private Dunzen and Lieutenant Thoma, Deadspace

Always remember: the optimal way to kill something is the way which presents least danger to you.

"I was born close to the ground and I will stay close to the ground. Thank you very much." - Doublelock, gnomish rogue and kleptomaniac. Hated heights.

"I like shiny things." - Doublelock

"Keep your hands the hell off of my clothes." - Delia Siannodel, half-elven bard. She was in the same party as Doublelock, and had silver buttons on her clothes. No more explanation required, I should hope.

"Don't make me call a lightning bolt down on your ass." - Merrinjal, Vah Shir shaman (Vah Shir are cat people, if you didn't know) She didn't have much patience, and the enchanter annoyed her more than he did everyone else.

"What's this barrel full of? Oh, it's beer. I guess I could pour it out...""BLASPHEMY!" - Monk and Alex the Dwarven cleric

"I'll have one of those!""Uh, Cinnamon, that just put two dwarves on the floor." - Cinnameron the gnomish enchanter and Merrinjal. Cinnameron was overfond of alcohol. Upon reaching a tavern, the dwarves ordered the strongest thing available, and after one drink, they passed out. And, added note, we could never remember his name, so we always called him Cinnamon.

"I eat it." - Levi, the Ixxar monk (Ixxar are lizard people) If it was organic and not moving, he'd eat it. Sometimes he wasn't that picky.

"You is an ugly." - a very, very stupid orc, who mistook a human rogue for an orc

"I throw the gnome." - Willa Killsmash, barbarian warrior/shaman. She said that more often than you would expect.

"It's not that big of a deal. If we run into something that'll stomp us, we just gate the hell out of here, and come back later.""I can't gate.""... Sucks to be you, then." - Gnome enchanter and Sasha the human thief

"Remember, the best solution to any problem is to throw it.""Oh, okay."--Later--"The Imperial's slaves are cowering on the floor. When you look at them, they hide their faces.""I throw them!" -Luc, the Esper

"Dwarfmonk no gots a Storm Fang! Why Dwarfmonk doesn't have a Storm Fang he don't? Dwarfmonk needs his insurance!" -Dwarfmonk, the Dwarven Monk

"I pick it up and shout 'Look what I found!'""I'll go check it out.""He's holding some sort of egg. It's black and iridescent, and it's steaming.""Oh, gods. Luc, what have I told you about picking up strange eggs?" -Luc the Esper, Asherak, Sorceror Extraordinare, and GM

DM:"There's a small 3 foot tall pyrimid 100 yards away, you notice that there are 4 different symbols on the sides. What do you do?"Tod:" Do I recognize any of the symbols?"DM:"Yes, the cleric wears on of the symbols on a chain around his neck"Vlad:"I pick up the cleric and toss him head first into that side of the pyrimid."DM:"Congradulations you have just suceeded in pissing off the cleric!"(or something like that, it was too long ago but we all laughed and such)

Brother Brotha':"Praise be to... (brotha' searches for a specific religous symbol that hangs from his neck) uhhh... THIS ONE!"

(Brother Brotha has like 50+ symbols that hang from his neck and he's always praying to one of them.)

In the course of our adventures, we encountered a massive black dragon who pissed us off mightily. So we spent a good deal of time trying to come up with a plan to kill him (and incidently take his stuff). We found a neat thing called a coup de grace, which means that if you attack something that's helpless, you automatically have a critical. So the gnomish enchanter had a special pickaxe made which he then buffed up. The party consisted of him, an Ixxar monk with nine attacks a round, two dwarves (a cleric and a paladin), and a Vah Shir beastlord with a penchant for lightning bolts. We eventually came up to the dragon, and wanted to kick his ass. Transcript follows.

Round 1:*GM pulls out a handful of d10s, counts them, and pulls out more*Gnome:I mes him. (This particular variant of mesmerisation that he was using had a hellacious save and lasted for 24 hours, or until damage was dealt.)GM: He's mesed. You're out of inititave now.Monk: Hey, gimme that dragon-slaying pickaxe.Cleric: Is there anything else we want to do, because once we hit, he's unmesed.Gnome: I have enough mana to do it again.Vah Shir: Well, is there any spells you can cast that'll lower his resistance? (We had tried this once before, and found out he had a severe damage reduction going.)*Gnome casts the appropriate spells*Paladin: Hey why don't we all coup de grace him?GM: You can do that.*much dice rolling and adding*Monk: Okay, total, we do 749 damage.GM: You all just pummel the hell out of him. He's dead.

Total loot recovered: Hella lot, plus various useful bits of dragon, and some rewards from the other dragons nearby. Total time actually in combat, not counting adding up damage: Five minutes. Total damage to party: Nada.

A little off the subject, I have to second CP's opinion on the BOF series and as to all of you who didn't know about ones beyond the second HAVE YOU BEEN LIVING UNDER A ROCK, FOR CHRIST SAKE MAN! o, yeah favorite quotes, mine would have to be one from tales of phantasia

"Truly, if their is evil in this world, it rest in the heart of mankind" -Tornix D. Morrison

Also a little off the subject. The dwarf conspiracy was always a laugh, UNTIL YOU USED IT ON EVERY CHARACTER EVER MADE!!!

"You open the door. Inside, there is mage paste." - GM in a Shadowrun game after my previously mentioned Hermetic mage failed to take control of someone elses elemental. Much later in the game, after said mage had become an NPC:"First on radar, then by eye, you see an enormous plane fly overhead. It drops an L-shaped tetris brick. Following shortly behind the brick is a woman with a flaming sword and a twelve foot wingspan. She appears to be wearing a toga and a halo."

"I grab the sword!""Mmkay, you're dead.""What!?""You just grabbed the sword of the god you were just personally responsible for banishing from the world for the next ten thousand years. You just got zapped by around a billion volts of Angry Divine Power. You're dead."

"Your Obfuscating privileges have been revoked." - said by my character to a Semedi vampire after he unsuccessfully tried to feed on a cop in public. He had jumped him out of Obfuscate (an invisibility-like power).

"I'm sorry, officer. My... friend hasn't had his medication.""Obvi-[expletive deleted]-ously!" My char again, trying to salvage the situation with the cop in question.

"Large posters of your naked assault on Sir Lancelot are used to advertise the next year's Freeform Tourney, bearing the catchprase: 'No Prohibitions!'" - A complex situation in a tournament in which my completely naked character defeated a knight in full, heavily ensorceled, armor. Losing my clothes was -not- part of the plan, but it did give me one monster of a rep.