Sorry about the song, but you still can't play

THE inflatable naked lady went the way of the Barmy Army bugle
boy, banished from the first, fast-fading Ashes contest of the
summer, and she felt about as flat as England at the Gabba last
night.

As Glenn McGrath continued his spectacular comeback to Test
cricket, with his wife Jane looking on, the crowd behaved as you
might expect of an audience baked under a hot Queensland sun for
three days  it started to go a little barmy.

Tensions in the stands ran high, with Queensland Cricket
apologising to English fans after a song derogatory to them was
played during a tea break at the Gabba, and has promised, under
pressure, not to do it again.

And the Barmy Army has complained about their treatment at the
hands of the people who run the Gabba, after the army's bugler,
Billy Cooper, was ejected from the ground and his instrument
confiscated.

In the day three crowd of 38,719, a downcast England supporter
announced he might give up his tickets for the Perth Test.

His mood would not have been improved when Glenn McGrath,
spruiking the figures of 6-50 in his first Test for 10 months,
faked an old man's limp on his way off the field. At 36, one of the
cast members of "Dad's Army" (as the Australian team has been
described), shows no signs of waning.

The apology from Queensland Cricket came after the Barmy Army
claimed to have been offended by lyrics sung to the tune The
Lion Sleeps Tonight. The lyrics implied the English were
whingeing, unhealthy and unwashed.

The parody, written and performed by musician and radio
personality Greg Champion, was part of official tea break
entertainment.

Queensland Cricket chief executive Graham Dixon said there was
no place for this in cricket. The song will not be played in
future.

Yesterday's cricket wouldn't have improved the spirits of the
Barmy Army, already annoyed about the bugler and that their
supporters were split up around the ground.

Cricket Australia event marketing manager Chris Loftus-Hills
said it was up to individual cricket grounds to decide whether or
not to allow musical instruments in the crowd.

"We don't have a problem with musical instruments per se," he
said. "It comes down to what's acceptable to the management at each
venue. You obviously won't be able to bring a tuba in," he said

Yesterday, the former deputy prime minister, Tim Fischer, piped
up. "It should be remembered the Barmy Army are 'ticket paying'
tourists," Mr Fischer said, in his capacity as Tourism
Australia chairman.

The Barmy Army went so far as to threaten a tour boycott due to
the song, but it is their wayward pacemen, except Andrew Flintoff,
and brittle batsmen who have threatened their Ashes tour.

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