Allow Me to Retort’s submission in our Manning-to-Tyree-play naming contest was the overwhelming winner. So enamored are we of The Giant Snatch that we’re dedicating this post to its coinage, hopefully prompting the name to gain cultural currency or at least a high placement on Google.

A kid in my 5th grade class had to write a paper on that when we studied historic animals. You know the teacher got a kick out of it when us young ‘uns weren’t looking.

I should add that I worked for Debbie B. one summer and she totally sucks — hence the crudeness above. I still love Belichick.

02.06.08 at 11:56 pm

smurphette

I know you’re probably tempted, but “The Giant Snatch” is not a super idea for the next KSK ladies apparel on spreadshirt. Just thought I’d nip that one in the bud.

02.06.08 at 11:59 pm

smurphette

@futuremrs: You don’t ever need to make excuses for your crudeness.

02.07.08 at 12:06 am

Chris(BessMervinGirlDetective)

I just realized that Jared Lorenzan has a super bowl ring.

/blows own mind

02.07.08 at 12:09 am

Christmas Ape

I had the same problem when Tommy Maddox won one.

02.07.08 at 12:41 am

Kyle321N

How bout Jim Sorgi getting his last year…

02.07.08 at 1:27 am

JJ

Damn, I was hoping “Hail Tyree” might catch on. Oh well, time to name the Shaq trade now…oops, sorry, not football related.

02.07.08 at 1:29 am

MemphisRaines

a great name all around – nice work Allow Me to Retort. I will enjoy pointing out the Giant Snatch for the rest of eternity! It’s fitting because nobody wants a Giant Snatch, but when times get thin you’ll take it. Nobody wanted the Giants to win, but in this situation, I’ll take it… I guess…

02.07.08 at 1:31 am

Tymannosourus

Do you think “allow me to retort” just came up with that name and went about his day without giving his comment a second thought? Not thinking about the comment shitstorm he created in his wake. He just came to blow our minds and then left.

02.07.08 at 1:48 am

DC

I wanna hear Joe Buck be the commentator for a porno…

“And he [long pause] blows his load onto her [goes through mental rolodex of tired phrases] eagerly waiting face. And that folks [dunno what he's doing for these 5 seconds] is an orgasm.”

Aikman “Well that’s just a heck of a play right there…”

02.07.08 at 2:43 am

MaxwellDemon

KSK currently comes up second on Google for the phrase Giant Snatch, after a blurb about the Chinese Olympic stadium. There is also an NPR headline, “Giant Bats Snatch Birds From Night Sky,” which will haunt my dreams.

02.07.08 at 3:10 am

Raskolnikov

The biggest snatch since Hailie vs. United States.

02.07.08 at 3:30 am

Allow me to retort

Leave on top? Nah. Too classy.

As a long time taker, I am proud to be giving back.

Thanks in advance for brilliantly filling the upcoming NFL void.

02.07.08 at 5:26 am

J.L. White

@dc:

Ah yes, your premise reminds me of a classic bit from an Adam Sandler CD I listened to many years ago, wherein John Madden announces a gay orgy PPV. Sadly, Brett Favre’s name did not come up once.

02.07.08 at 8:27 pm

Jonny Epic

I don’t know if anyone else noticed this, but there are a world of parallels between the Superbowl and Rocky IV. Allow me to elaborate.

When Brady was sacked by Strahan, people around the world screamed “hes not a machine (Drago/Brady, he’s a man!” In unicen

Eli Manning brother, Peyton, was slain by an agent of darkness, Marmalard, who in turn was slain by the evil Patriot machine.

In Eli’s moment of woe, his drunken, sloppy buddy (Lorenzen), absolutley said that if he could step outside his skin for just one second, he’d wanna be Eli.

The Giants upstart run to glory began when they trained for this victory by conquering the bitter cold in Siberia (Green Bay).

Belicheck’s tactics bear uncanny resemblance to Ivan Drago’s trainer, who was a lover of despotism, impropriety, and had no skills with the press.

Bob Kraft actually was the body double for Gorbychov in Rocky IV.

Giselle has named one of her early influcneces as Bridget Neilsen (Mrs. Drago)

02.07.08 at 8:41 pm

Jonny Epic

And I nearly forgot….

The Giants D-line are a perfect microcosm for Capitalism, embodied by Rocky’s will to win, (If i can change, we can change, everybody can change!), breaking through the reviled and feared Iron Curtain (the Pats “O-Line), and delivering a deathblow to their unbeatable, super powered champion, (Brady/Drago)

02.07.08 at 9:11 pm

BEHM777

@ jonny epic

And I thought I had too much time on MY hands…

02.08.08 at 9:42 am

FLACIDBEAR

610 WIP Philly just gave you props for “the Giant Snatch”…hugh douglas is a big fan

06.06.08 at 2:25 pm

Vile

I can’t believe you guys are so lame! The Giant Snatch?!?! Is that the name of the play or who you want to vote for for president? C’mon will this hold up to the test of time, I think not read the LA Times article and realize that the true name for this play is the Hail Manning!