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Whenever I counsel patients , I explain all their possible options to them. I also include their non-medical choices, and emphasize that adoption and child free living are perfectly acceptable alternatives, which they should not reject out of hand.

I always discuss these before I move on to explain their medical treatment options.

Sometimes patients get very upset when I do this. They believe that the fact I have started by discussing the worst case scenarios , means their chances of success are very poor. Some even accuse me of being negative and pessimistic , and feel that I am preparing them for failure.

This is not true.

The reason I discuss non-medical options is to emphasize the fact that they are in control of their life - that they have a choice. After all, medical treatment for infertility is optional, and that if they choose to come to me for treatment , they should come with a smile, because they hope to get something from here.

Non-medical alternatives should be seen as empowering, because they allow the patient to pick and choose. They should not feel that they are forced into doing IVF - and they should not think of themselves as being helpless and powerless either !