Cam Newton

It’s wide receiver ranking time folks, and perhaps more than running backs, I find this position the hardest to work with. Not because it has a boner (though I have no idea how to verify this), but because of the sheer amount of names. There is no dearthness here my friends. And the process involves a lot of research and time, I mean, did you know there’s something called a Boykins in the NFL? I thought Boykins was what the Three Stooges did to each other all those years. Also, I was quite surprised that New Orleans did, in fact, have wide receivers on their depth chart. I had just assumed they were going to line-up 10 blockers and have Drew Brees throw to himself. (This is an annointed power given on high to the Breesus, as prophecy states.) Boy was I off. That’s actually going to be Buffalo’s strategy with EJ Manuel. But that’s not all I learned. Yes, you might be surprised by this… completely astounded I tell ya, but I also have some fantasy knowledge to drop. CRAZY, I know. So let’s get fantasy relevant… (That’s what she said. Uh, wait, that doesn’t really work here. I mean, it does, but it’s not really the strongest joke I could have put out there. Not sure why this is still a thing…)

As I touched on in the Way-Too-Early 2015 Rankings, we’ll be using Razzball’s 2014 Rankings as context to sorta-kinda make sense of where the value has gone, who surpassed expectations, and who didn’t. It should be an interesting exercise, if only to talk about something football related until the preseason starts taking shape, which should be in about 18 years, or what it seems like. Good news is, I guess it’s legal? Today we’ll be going over Quarterbacks and how the landscape has changed. True, 95% of that landscape is Peyton Manning’s forehead, but there are some interesting things going on with the other 5%.

Welp, what the refs giveth, the refs take away. Something like that. And so it goes for the Cowboys, who saw their season come to end, not with a Romonobyl, but with a whimper. After a “questionable” call in last week’s wild card game against the Lions, which the NFL spent the entire week trying to triage, the brutal karma of it all reared it’s head in the ugliest way possible: The dreaded “Calvin Johnson Rule”. For those of you unfamiliar with this rule, which get’s enforced about two times per decade, here’s the wording:

If a player goes to the ground in the act of catching a pass (with or without contact by an opponent), he must maintain control of the ball after he touches the ground, whether in the field of play or the end zone. If he loses control of the ball, and the ball touches the ground before he regains control, the pass is incomplete. If he regains control prior to the ball touching the ground, the pass is complete.

I guess you could technically rule this the correct call, but I would point out that Bryant’s elbow is down first and the play should end right there. Or just from a simple eye test (you can see a better angle after the jump), this looks like a catch. OR you could conclude that Bryant went to the ground with his feet during the process of the catch, and then proceeded to do a “football play” by diving for the end zone. But what do I know? I will say this… I’m not sure Dallas fans can gripe about bad judgement here… Rick Perry is the elected Governor of Texas after all.

It’s been commonplace around here to poke a bit of fun at Joe Flacco’s expense, and I have to admit, it probably starts with me. Look, I don’t actively root against the eyebrow guy. Granted, I don’t root for him either, seeing as how it’s like rooting for a speed bump. But there is a certain something about him that really fascinates me. And that can essentially be boiled down to the the gift that keeps on giving… and that’s the process for measuring how elite Joe Flacco actually is (not just his eyebrow(s), which are too f*cking elite). Well folks, I think it’s time, once again, to go through this process once more. After a convincing win against a Steelers team that was clearly missing LeVeon Bell and any semblance of a third down defense, John Harbaugh said this after the game:

“Joe Flacco, what can you say… He’s the best quarterback in football.”

Well, first of all, don’t lead this off by asking “what can you say”. I can say a lot of things, and none of them would be what you said, John. Granted, yes, Flacco has a long history of being part of a lot of successful Ravens teams, including a Super Bowl ring and being the only quarterback in NFL history to win a playoff game in each of his first five seasons. Of course, there’s also the fact that he’s not really that good of a quarterback. But hey, when you’re just elite enough to win, who cares?

I guess I don’t. Then again, I’m now realizing that the Ravens vs. Patriots media extravaganza might be something I could have done without… been there, done that, ya know? Wait. What’s that you say? We’re going to have a Petyon Manning/Andrew Luck narrative to deal with as well?

What’s up Razzicans! If you are still here, you are either still playing or just can’t let us go. If it’s the latter, then all I can say is watch this and don’t take it personal. I’m kidding, glad to have you. We’re doing something a little different this week to close out the 2014 fantasy season. I’m also writing this post with my pants on for once. (It’s about as awkward as that one time I wore boxers to gym class during wrestling week.) Here is the breakdown, I’m covering the NFC games and my boy Ralph is covering the AFC later today. I’m gonna gloss over the players that should be usable and play the whole game or at least have some level of relevance.

You know, I don’t really hate giving the lede to the NFC South, and if you’ve been spending any time here at Razzball, you know that I find this division so very… satisfying. Not in the good way, like, wow, this NFC South man, it gives the greatest head type of way. No… but to be honest, I have felt similar sensations. It’s the satisfying “oh my god, that’s about the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen, so I’ll just laugh at it and celebrate it for being the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen” type of thing. But the fact remains, I don’t hate talking about it. So at what point does it become masochistic? I mean, we are talking about the day after fantasy football “Championship Week”, probably the most masochistic weekend in all of fantasy sports, so yeah, it’s going to be theme. So with the Saints losing to the Falcons, we now have a NFC South “Superbowl” with the Panthers visiting the Falcons to decide who gets the home playoff defeat. Yes, the Saints are as good as eliminated, but if I understand math correctly (I really don’t), if this game ends in a tie, the Falcons, Panthers, and Saints will all just trigger a nuclear reaction that will re-birth the universe. What a place that would be! In other Sunday news, it’s apparent the NFL wants a Patriots vs. Cowboys Superbowl, and I’m not sure I’m ready for it. Then again, I probably wasn’t ready for a 7-8-1 (or a 7-9) playoff team… so there’s that I guess…

Greetings! I come to you humbled and begging your forgiveness after my lock of the week pushed this past week, as the Seahawks failed to put their foot on the neck of the Whiners for reasons I’m still struggling to figure out. Myself and the Hawks will make up for it this week, and that’s a guarantee straight from the horses mouth… I’ve been compared to a horse for reasons I’ll leave up to your imagination, and I’m not talking Mr. Ed. Wiiiiiiiilllbuuuuuuur. Put on your big boy/girl thong and let’s get this mula!

If you’re reading this column, one of the following things must be true:

A. You have a team in the championship game and are looking for an extra edge.

B. You’re trying to figure out how to play the DeMarco Murray situation.

C. You really love fantasy football.

D. Any combination of the above.

With it being championship week, there aren’t a whole lot of updates that can be made or waiver wire pickups. You should be in a position where your team got through the semifinals okay and you should be able to set your lineup now for the final. Keep in mind we have a Thursday night clunker (TEN vs JAX) and games on Saturday this week too (WSH-PHI; SF-SD), and that will play a little role in how you set things up.

Greetings! Another week, another lock nailed by the hammer otherwise known as Tehol Beddict. Below you will find my NFL picks for the week with a few tidbits of fantasy advice mixed in. Take heed, for when have I led you astray?

Hrm…how am I gonna do this…*Goes and reads ‘How To Sell A Bad Idea For Dummies*. I got it! He’s cheap! Yikes, readers and readettes, we’re really digging down into the down and dirty at QB suggesting Jake Locker at $5,400 but there’s some reason for optimism here. One, it’s your money, not mine…JK. The big reason I’m staring down the barrel of Jake’s cannon arm is the matchup. The Jets have been a wreck in the secondary all year. So bad, they’ve allowed a top 15 or better finish to quarterbacks with names like Alex Smith, Teddy Bridgewater and Kyle Orton (twice). If you were looking for a sign that something’s not working, Orton hanging big weeks on you more than once in a season is a pretty good indicator. Now of course, none of this touts Locker as a great play. He’s a risk. A big one, in fact. There’s no sign nor indication that Locker will ever be a good NFL QB at this point but DFS DGAF, y’all! Boy can scramble. Let’s just pretend that he has ‘started’ 4 games this year since he was hurt half way through week 4 and has played back to back 4th quarters the last two weeks when Zach Mettenberger’s shoulder turned into ground beef. In those ‘4 starts’, Locker has averaged about 34 yards on the ground and has a rushing TD to his credit. The great thing about rushing TDs? They’re worth more than passing TDs…seriously, you play this game, why am I telling you? So Locker could net you 9 points with 30 yards rushing and a TD without doing much out of the norm for his style of play. Now let’s take that ‘could’ and tack on the bad passing defense to date by the Jets that has allowed a 29:5 TD to INT ratio and an average of 258 passing yards a game for the year. Now let’s not kid ourselves, this could easily blow up in our faces like we just got a present from Jokey Smurf so I wouldn’t get cute and play him in cash games. That said, if you’re a GPP’in, you’re lookin’ to cut corners on pricing wherever you can and this could be that one time you’ll remember the 2014 Titans fondly. Enjoy. But enough about Denzel Washington, let’s move on. Here’s my red hot takes for the week 14 DK slate…