For some strange reason, pictures have been breaking the frame lately instead of auto-resizing.

In other news, I get to go on vacation this year, and I've got 3 weeks of vacation time (plus another 10 "sick" days I can take if I want to extend it). So I'm debating:

1) See the cherry blossom festival at Mount Yoshino, in Japan (something I've always wanted to do but never managed to sync up vacation time with peak bloom time).2) Go to Venice, Italy (something I've always wanted to do, but I don't have a special person to bring with me).3) Go to Shanghai or Hong Kong (I love architecture, and I've already seen all the touristy spots in the EU and middle-east, pretty much. Plus, I've heard very good things about both of those cities as long as you stay out of the "bad parts of town").4) Visit the Greek Isles (apparently their economy is in the shitter, which makes it an excellent country to visit where you can live like a king on $50-$80/day - but I'm not sure that early spring is a good season to visit The Beach).6) Visit some new friends down in Queensland, Australia.or7) Go back to Germany and catch up with my old friends from when I was stationed there.

Money isn't really an object, within reason. I'm not going to be able to pay off my student loans on the schedule I originally planned, so I'm taking some out of my savings to give myself a lavish vacation this year. Because reasons.

Given those choices, which one do you guys think would make an ideal mid-April vacation destination? I'll be able to go to one or two of them - but no more than that, since I'd really rather not use too many of my sick days and I'll definitely want to spend at least a week in each spot.

- I'm not Jesus, but I can turn water into Kool-Aid.- A Sergeant in motion outranks an officer who doesn't know what the hell is going on.- A demolitions specialist at a flat run outranks everybody.

lol - chances are we'll see each other on Saturday anyway. I'm headed up to New York City to stay with my old university roommate and Kat's going to be in NYC for work so we may manage to meet up in a few days anyway!

Nikachelle wrote:lol - chances are we'll see each other on Saturday anyway. I'm headed up to New York City to stay with my old university roommate and Kat's going to be in NYC for work so we may manage to meet up in a few days anyway!

Nikachelle wrote:lol - chances are we'll see each other on Saturday anyway. I'm headed up to New York City to stay with my old university roommate and Kat's going to be in NYC for work so we may manage to meet up in a few days anyway!

whaaaaat. why wasn't I told!

Yeah I'm kind of cringing now. I only thought about it a few days into the trip and at that point all of our time was totally blocked off. I'm really sorry Sab, I had thought to contact you but then thought it wasn't enough advance warning for you. I probably should've just dropped you a line regardless. :(

Nikachelle wrote:Yeah I'm kind of cringing now. I only thought about it a few days into the trip and at that point all of our time was totally blocked off. I'm really sorry Sab, I had thought to contact you but then thought it wasn't enough advance warning for you. I probably should've just dropped you a line regardless. :(

When you visit another city where you have too many friends, you only tell half the people that you're visiting (those you got time for!) You tell the other half about the next visit (and don't mention that one to the first half!)

Nikachelle wrote:Yeah I'm kind of cringing now. I only thought about it a few days into the trip and at that point all of our time was totally blocked off. I'm really sorry Sab, I had thought to contact you but then thought it wasn't enough advance warning for you. I probably should've just dropped you a line regardless. :(

When you visit another city where you have too many friends, you only tell half the people that you're visiting (those you got time for!) You tell the other half about the next visit (and don't mention that one to the first half!)

Tip from my cousin :)

Turns out Vanifae was in New York at the same time too. Double fail.

And honestly I'm not like that, I tell the whole world (usually) and they can all just meet each other at the same time!

My wife and I went through a really rough period in our marriage about 7 ish years ago. It was bad. We almost ended up divorced. Well, she has a friend (female). They have been friends..... 20? years. This friend, played a large role in enabling, and promoting the issues that almost ended my marriage. To this day, I have not accompanied my wife when she has gone to see her. I have not spoken to her. I have not in any way shape or form acknowledged this woman's existence since. I can tell you the last time I saw her. I can tell you the last time I spoke to her.

My wife and I just bought a house, and in her elation, she told this friend. Well, this friend wants to make the hour+ drive to come visit after we get moved in. This would, involve her crashing at our place over night.

I am not ok with this.

My wife brought it up, and was seemingly surprised that I had such a disdain for her childhood friend. It was as if she has been oblivious to my feelings surrounding this person, or that I might actually still have an issue with this woman who (admittedly from my perspective) was a willing, even gleefully excited participant in trying to destroy my marriage.

I have all but stopped talking about it. I feel like I'm stuck between a losing situation, and a losing situation. It's one of my wife's best friends. Ever. It's also, one of the few people in this world that I wouldn't piss on to put out a fire. In fact, I'd probably grab a stick and a bag of marshmallows.

Should I move on? Should I put the feelings of hurt, and anger, and whatever else you want to call it aside? I'm thinking that I might just make other plans for the evening. Because I know the evening will end in drinks, and if I drink, I'm going to not watch what I say, and I'm probably going to say some very terrible, hurtful, things. And that's not going to do anything but piss off my wife.

Shoju wrote:Should I move on? Should I put the feelings of hurt, and anger, and whatever else you want to call it aside? I'm thinking that I might just make other plans for the evening. Because I know the evening will end in drinks, and if I drink, I'm going to not watch what I say, and I'm probably going to say some very terrible, hurtful, things. And that's not going to do anything but piss off my wife.

Honestly, I'd be hurt my spouse was still friends with someone who was so toxic for our marriage. I don't think you are wrong for not wanting this person in your home and certainly not overnight.

If you want a compromise, I think this person can visit. See the house, briefly, while you are not there. Then she can stay at a hotel. Your wife can go out and see her.

She doesn't make the same connection to the events that I do. She sees it as her fault, and her friend was just being a friend.

I, see it as someone who not only didn't say "you shouldn't do this" but actively engaged in the "doing this".

I think the connection is pretty deep. They met at a camp for T1 diabetics when they were preteens / maybe young teens. Not that it excuses what happened but I try and understand that they share a bond.

Vacation was awesome. At least, it was awesome after the cherry blossom festival - who'd have thought that for a seasonal allergy sufferer, going to a place with thirteen thousand cherry trees in full bloom would be a bad idea?

Anyway, after that I spent some time fishing with my friends and visiting the tourist destinations I somehow never made it to. Himeji castle is amazing, if you ever find yourself in Japan, you should go. Also, running a small independently operated fishing boat is a viable occupation - we caught a 400lb grade 1 tuna and it sold at market for 185,000 yen (rough conversion, about $1850US, or more than I make in two weeks after taxes). Which sort of segues in nicely to my question for y'all:

I got offered a share in my friends' fishing boat until I can afford my own, and their permission to fish in "their" water after I can afford my own boat. No joking, people get downright serious about it, even going so far as to sabotage equipment and sometimes even "disappear" other people who refuse to move after being told they're in someone else's water.

This would require me moving to Japan, which I'm not entirely unwilling to do. It's a beautiful country full of history and culture. It's also hands down bar none THE MOST xenophobic country in the world, so immigrants face a lot of hassles. It's the very definition of a place that's "nice to visit, but you don't want to live there". On the other hand, I can make a damned good living there doing something else that I love. Because while I definitely love medicine and love my job (even if the patients make it a pain in the ass at least 90% of the time), I also love the ocean and being out on the water.

So I'm pretty well torn. My contract with this hospital is up at the end of next month, and I have enough left in savings to live on while I start the emigration process, but the pros and cons weigh out equally for me. If you were me, what would you guys do?

- I'm not Jesus, but I can turn water into Kool-Aid.- A Sergeant in motion outranks an officer who doesn't know what the hell is going on.- A demolitions specialist at a flat run outranks everybody.

However, if you have enough funds, you may consider trying it out for a few months with your friends' boat (and permission), before making such a huge move and investment. You may find you absolutely love it, and yes you want to do it, and damnit, you WILL do it.

Or, you may find that you hate it absolutely, and don't want to stay.

Fetzie wrote:The Defias Brotherhood is back, and this time they are acting as racketeers in Goldshire. Anybody wishing to dance for money must now pay them protection money or be charged triple the normal amount when repairing.

I can't make up my own damn mind, that's why I'm asking for input and opinions! Oi! The pros and cons on each side weigh out just about equally.

Edit to add: I can't afford to live in Japan for any length of time on my savings - especially not the amount of time it would take to get approved as a resident alien. Work visas are a bit quicker, but not for private enterprise like I'd be working for (bigger companies and government programs like JET get their applications processed damn near same day, at least within a month. Small mom & pop shops get shuffled around until the applicant usually gives up). I don't want to stress my friends out by couchsurfing at their place until my papers go through and I can finally work. As a frame of reference, 250,000 yen/month is roughly subsistence level income ($2500US/month, give or take).

- I'm not Jesus, but I can turn water into Kool-Aid.- A Sergeant in motion outranks an officer who doesn't know what the hell is going on.- A demolitions specialist at a flat run outranks everybody.

It's a hard life, and there's certainly potential for good money (VERY good money) but it's not exactly something that's easy to break into if you don't have a lot of experience, especially when it's coupled while trying to juggle citizenship hassles and moving to the opposite side of the planet.

Could you do some sort of EMT kind of work over there until the visa/residency shenanigans get resolved?

Courage not of this earth in your eyesFaith from far beyond lies deep inside

It's line fishing vs net or trap fishing. It'd be closer to a charter fishing boat than a commercial boat. But that's a good point - it's not exactly a stable income at all. There are good days and bad weeks, and I wouldn't have the savings anymore to be able to support myself through a dry spell, at least for a while anyway.

And no, I won't be able to work in emergency services or medicine there. The differences between eastern and western medicine are just too much. Plus, I'd never be hireable as a foreigner. I'm conversationally fluent, and read about 600-700 of the most used kanji (so essentially, I read japanese at about a 5th-6th grade level), so I could get part time work in construction, convenience stores, bars, etc. But as far as anything that pays anywhere near a living wage I'd be out of luck unless I could finagle my way into a teaching job with one of the major language schools.

- I'm not Jesus, but I can turn water into Kool-Aid.- A Sergeant in motion outranks an officer who doesn't know what the hell is going on.- A demolitions specialist at a flat run outranks everybody.

It just occurred to me as I was trying to go through the financial thing that I won't be able to afford this, which is sad.

I need at least 250k JPY every month in order to survive. I'd only have a 1/3rd share in anything I catch using their boat (equal shares for the 3 of us is still an amazing offer though and I'm grateful for it). That means I'd have to catch 750k JPY worth of fish every month just to survive. With the "foreigner tax*" that means I'd have to catch anywhere from 1mil-1.5mil JPY just to pay my bills - without putting anything away for savings or towards buying my own boat.

That's ... a lot of fish.

Well, it was a fun dream while it lasted. And now that I know it's not a realistic option, I really fucking want to do it.

*"foreigner tax" - I wouldn't be able to sell my fish for anything near what my friends sell theirs for. I'm not Japanese, so I'd be lucky to get 3/4 of what Eri would get for the same exact fish. And realistically speaking, I'd get closer to about half of what he would get, selling it at the market.

- I'm not Jesus, but I can turn water into Kool-Aid.- A Sergeant in motion outranks an officer who doesn't know what the hell is going on.- A demolitions specialist at a flat run outranks everybody.