Saturday, May 10, 2008

My cousin. He's about 75 years old, and slowly dying. I'm not too sure how long he's got, months, years who knows? I'm not close to him, but he's been in my life since I can remember, and we shared an interest in photograhpy. I want to go to his funeral, and what I do know is I will not be wearing jeans at his funeral. Unfortunately jeans are all I can wear at the moment, so my day has come when there is an unusual reason to lose weight.

Back to losing weight.

I want to lose 100g a day, for as long as possible, as before. Today I weighed in at 89.2kg, which is high but I'm sure as I start losing weight again, my body will empty out and that will reduce quickly. I want to check in daily with details of the previous eating: good/bad/neither with how many units of protein I had, how much olive oil I had (none indicates I've eaten poorly) and whether I had my usual vegetables. Also my weight.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Yesterday was better than the day before, however I still managed to have a coffee and slice, two days in a row! Even so, I think I ate less than my body used up, which means that I would have lost weight. However I gained a bit of weight today which means that my weight has gone up to 86.9kg, nothing to worry about (yet).

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

If there was any day that shouldn't have worked out the way it should, yesterday was it. Breakfast was good, then I decided that because I had gone below a kilogram boundary I was allowed a coffee and slice. So much for my 16 days without spending money on food! I didn't think that it would only last about 3 days. So that was done, then I felt tired because of all of the carbohydrates and decided to have a sleep. Sleep reduces my appetite, which is good because I didn't have as much as I should have of protein. In the evening, I had some olive oil, because I was hungry again. I did manage to have some veges at least.

Monday, April 7, 2008

It's early days yet but things are working well. Yesterday I didn't feel any strong urges to eat heaps in the evening, hopefully my system has corrected itself and my appetite has reduced as I eat less carbohydrates. I'm losing weight, today my weight is 86.9kg. I feel good about the whole weight loss thing but I'm starting to think that a 'treat' is due, how long can I keep this up?

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Yesterday went well, I had Special K for breakfast, veges and whey powder for lunch and dinner, together with some olive oil and a few other things. In the evening I got quite hungry and ended up having some cheese, quite a bit actually. I'll have to look at that, maybe a tomato can fill me up, but they are expensive.

Today I had my first weigh in for about 2 weeks, and I weighed 87.1kg. That was about what I expected, so I've got 21.1kg to lose, and I'll see how long I can manage at 100g a day. Usually I get sick of the whole losing weight thing and then my weight then increases or at least stops reducing.

The whole giving money to my workmate is a good idea - the maximum weight I can be drops by 100g a day from now on, each day I am over that I have to pay her $1. I've had to pay her about $30 so far, more than I'd like but it's equal to about 2 Weight Watchers meetings, however of course with Weight Watchers you pay for the meetings you've missed (crazy!).

The possible earliest goal date if I am good is 23rd November, of course I won't make it at that date but I can dream, can't I? I still need my rewards, I need either a coffee and a slice or a McDonalds burger combo every kilogram I lose, plus when I go from lowest weight in x years to lowest weight in x+1 years, I get a reward as well! That means about 32 reward meals, in about 6-9 months, not a large amount I guess. I just need to have sweet and fatty food once in a while.

Another disincentive to gain weight: I've been thinking about a major "fine" if I go over goal plus a certain amount. In other words, if I am 25kg above goal weight, I give the accountable person $50. As I lose weight, the 25kg decreases. Basically, I'm trying to not gain. My accountable person is looking for another job, so she has agreed to continue helping me out with this when she changes jobs, which is a relief.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Yesterday I bought 7kg of frozen veges, so the longest I can go without buying food is 14 days, it'll be interesting to see if I can make that. Hopefully yes, if I am organised. I'll try posting daily, for no other reason than I feel like doing so, maybe I'll stop that, maybe I won't.

I hopefully have all the food I need to lose weight. I didn't weigh myself this morning because yesterday I ate far too much, sort of a last day binge, if you will. When this period ends I really, really don't want a binge before I start the next period, the next day hopefully.

Friday, April 4, 2008

I paused the whole weight loss thing for the last 2 weeks, I'm not exactly sure why but after Easter I decided to take a break and now I'm ready to get started again. I want to see how long I can lose 100 grams a day, not an unreasonable amount, using the whole money system as a motivation as well. Today is the last day for buying food as long as I can manage, maybe 15 days depending on how much spare space my freezer has.

I'll try to post here every 3-4 days or so with an update on how I'm going.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

I seem to be losing and gaining a few kilograms over and over again, my recent gain happened around the time of both my birthday and Becky's birthday eight days later. So that's gone, now I can get into the weight that was put on months ago.

The system with giving money to my workmate when I am over a limit seems to be working well, I am pretty sure that I would have put on weight because of the birthdays, although I have paid her about $20 so far, the motivation of wanting to stop that has made me lose weight. I think that this is the best system so far, in the last week it really has meant that I have lost weight.

How long can I go without buying any food? Everytime I enter a store I am at risk of making a poor food choice. Simple solution: delay the food buying process as long as possible. The limit really seems to be how many kilograms of frozen vegetables I can put in the freezer, probably 7 or 8, that means about 15 days. After Easter, I'll give it a try.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Last Wednesday I had my 44th birthday. It went well, I had an enjoyable day and as would be expected, I ate more than I usually do. That's fine. I usually don't put on much weight on my birthday (Christmas is different - I usually add just under a kilogram). I'm losing that gain now, there aren't any problems with that.

I have asked a workmate if she could help me with my motivation for losing weight. It's quite obvious that the camera in itself is not enough motivation - it's too far away. I'll go back to what has worked in the past - paying someone when I do not live up to weight loss expectations. I've tried this in the past - using someone else on the Internet, but this time I'll use the support of someone in real life, someone who I've actually met and can talk to.

The plan is simple - pay her money each time my weight goes above a line on my weight graph. At the moment, the graph drops by 50 grams each day, not a lot I'd admit, but I want to start with an easy loss then speed things up later on. Because of the birthday gain, I am giving her money, but that's ok, the maximum I'll ever give her is $7 a week, about the cost of a Big Mac combo. My weighings should be under the line in about 3-4 days.

As for an update for saving for the camera here is what I have so far:

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

It is no secret that protein can control my appetite, I've known about that for years. What is difficult however is actually taking it, I'm sure that I could quite easily exist on 20g of protein a day. I've never been a big meat eater, and usually have to remind myself to eat it.

Given that I'm trying to lose weight, I've decided to try this routine:

3 units (20g) of protein a day

Breakfast: Special K and an egg (yes, Special K is full of sugar but it's about the only breakfast cereal that I like that has lots of protein in it)

Lunch: some type of fish

Dinner: whey powder

Cost is an issue, whey powder is expensive but it's easier than fish to eat. Protein is the most expensive thing about being on a diet, and I'm trying to stick to a budget. $20-$25 a week on protein is a lot of money, I'm hoping when I finish this diet I can go below $60 and my average will slowly drop to that value.

I'll try that for a while and see what happens. Also, I've decided to reduce my carbohydrates and see how that goes. If you've read the previous post, you'll be disappointed that I've pretty much not gotten into that scheme, but I think I'll try the protein first and see how that goes.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Yesterday I had another carb-fest, totally uncontrollable and I just ate too much rubbish. I don't really know why that happened, of course my brain is telling me to eat more but why so much craving? Who knows.

I'll recover in a few days but I really, really want to get to goal. So I decided that it's back to negative rewards if I put on weight. I've tried the weight loss buddy in the past, but that wasn't the best solution I've found, because what happens if they disappear? I gain weight.

I'll go back to handing out money to whoever wants it, leaving it on public seats, on fences, in the library, wherever I am and want to give the money away.

However, the rules are as follows:

I weigh myself daily (as I have done for years, on and off)

If I weigh more than what I have previously chosen as a maximum limit then I give away $1 each day

The maximum limit gets changed when I see fit, allowing for fluctuations of weight, it can go down but not up

I can't save up payments, the maximum I can give must be $2

We'll see how that goes. As for previously going low carb, that was going well, but I don't know what to do about whether to stay on it or not. I miss fruit but I'm just not sure what to do.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Yesterday I went swimming, the first time in probably 6 months. Many overweight people have issues going swimming, myself included. I want to be thin and go swimming! That's it really. I doubt that women will stare at me or anything, I just want to show off my slim body. Anyway, I decided that I'd reward myself by having a swim every kilogram I lose. The swimming pool was really hot, and I was really tired afterwards, hopefully that will stop when I've lost 20kg of insulation.

I haven't been on a hydroslide for about 5 years, so I was thinking of treating myself when I reach 67kg, 1kg over goal. The reason why I chose that weight was because whenever I go swimming, I always think about my weight. I want to go on the hydroslide when I don't think I wish I was slim right now.

That made me think that maybe I should have more rewards, obviously costing money but not related to eating. Ideally about 5 over the whole period. In terms of the camera, I really couldn't decide whether to buy the extended warranty or not, so I just tossed a coin, and it came up not buy, so that's $250 nearer to goal. The price will probably drop another $50 or so as well.

One weight related problem that I've got is my legs. In the morning my legs can really ache, requiring me to stretch them a lot to get them feeling right. I worked out that it's likely caused by my weight, since when I carry my laptop the problem is more likely. Strangely, it's not always both legs. That's one problem I'll be glad to say goodbye to.

Monday, January 14, 2008

As the graph above shows, in the last 4 days I have lost nearly 3kg. Of course, almost all of that is not fat, my recent binge probably was at least half of it, plus other things such as water throughout my body. Anyway, I was concerned that I was losing weight too fast, so I decided to buy the salami and olives as a way of slowing down my weight loss. I'm in no hurry, so I can take it gently and not rush things.

Because of this, my new plan is to each Monday buy additional food equal to any loss greater than 1kg. It's an arbitrary value, sure but I've got to start somewhere. The additional foods are likely to be olives, salami and nuts. Who knows how long this will last, this quick weight loss, but I don't want it hurting my body.

I guess I'm in the 'honeymoon phase' of the diet. Things are going well. I'm having cravings though, hopefully they'll go away after a few weeks.

As for the camera, I'm not sure whether to buy one with an extended warranty or not. Not doing so means I'll be needing to save $250 less for the camera. However, I can afford the extended warranty, but I can't afford a new camera if it should fail completely a year or so after I buy it. What I'll just do is think it over for the next 7 months, but I won't buy mall vouchers as planned. That means that I may have a financial crisis and use up my savings for other things. Anyway, I'll start saving as planned, just won't buy vouchers.

Another trip to the supermarket today, I bought diet soft drink because I just missed having something sweet.

Friday, January 11, 2008

In this post I'll just update my spending and carbohydrates. Rather than measuring every day what I eat, I just record the carbohydrates on what I buy. I then just divide that amount by how many days it'll last, and that's a simple estimate on what I'm eating that day.

The last 3 days have shown that having a high carbohydrate reward is just not a good idea for me, it stimulates my appetite and results in cravings and eating lots of food that I didn't expect to eat that day. I've got 20kg to lose, about $400 to save for the camera, so every kilogram lost I'll just get a $20 voucher from the mall that I expect to buy the camera from. I'll miss rewards, but they just don't seem to work for me.

As for how many grams of carbohydrates to consume each day, that's undecided yet, but almost all of it should come from veges. I also want to post spending (keeping to the $60 a week budget) and grams of carbohyrates eaten, starting today.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

The last couple of months have been rather non eventful for me in terms of weight loss, basically I gained a few kilograms, then I had the whole Christmas/New Year thing, then I lost again. I'm still not back to where I was a few months ago, but that will happen in 2-3 weeks I guess. Today I had my reward meal due to me losing a kilogram since my recent gain, I've been yoyoing a few kilograms recently but now I seem to be back into the whole weight loss thing.

The graph above shows my weight loss since New Years day, I want constant loss, the rate is unimportant, I just don't want to gain.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

January 1st. I'm am sure that there are millions of people around the world who are starting their diet today, my goal is for continuous weight loss for as long as possible. That means in reality, until my birthday on February 20th, 51 days away. I have actually been losing weight since Christmas, so that is included in the mix as well. I'll be happy with a month, I've achieved that before.

I also want to take one photo each day to record my weight loss, that will hopefully reinforce the idea that I want to get a camera so I can enjoy photography more.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

It's been a while since I've posted, that's for sure. I got a new job, unfortunately that job was the worst job I'd ever had (really hard physically) so I needed to comfort eat, it took a day to recover and it was only part time.It took a short time to realise that it was unsuitable, fortunately I got a better job quite easily after that, so there doesn't seem to be any work related stress (except boredom - it's a dull job so I won't stay long) with the new job.

Because of that, I've effectively postponed my weight loss, but I've discovered one important finding: if I don't eat fruit I can really easily keep to about 60g of carbohydrates. So it's no fruit and more vegetables. I miss fruit but if I am ever to actually achieve goal I have to cut back on fruit.

I've got some more money from Christmas, so that means that there is more money going towards the camera when I reach goal. I'll probably do a money related analysis next posting.

I'm also back starting afresh with the keeping to a budget with the whole food thing I did at the start of the blog. I'll also post my purchases and show what a boring (but successful) diet I live on.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Yes, it's been a while, study got in the way but now I feel as though things are improving diet-wise. As promised earlier, I wanted to have a weekly weigh in, that day is now a Wednesday. My current weight is 84.5kg, slightly more than when I posted earlier. Things are good with me at the moment, so I think that I'll be able to lose weight consistantly until the next challenge occurs.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Yes, I'm still here. I've stopped losing weight, although it has suddenly hit me that I am having to pay my accountable person for any non-weight loss, which is a good thing, since it's getting me back in the whole weight loss.

I've also decided to have a weekly weigh-in post on this blog, on a Sunday since that is when my accountable person and I send each other emails. I've been eating properly for a few days, I'm hoping that things will empty out and I'll weigh what I did a week or two again.

When you go out for a coffee to a cafe at a mall, do you notice many people having their coffee and slice on their own? No? Me neither. But that's what I like doing, I've been doing it for at least 10 years now but I don't really know when I started.

It's not good. I guess I go because it's been a bit of a habit for me, I like being around people (sometimes I get lonely) and it's nice to have something tasty to eat.

Well, I'm trying to stop it. I can go with someone else (likely to be my girlfriend) but I'll try to stop going on my own. If I can start something, I can stop it again. I don't know how much this has affected my weight loss, but it's something that I can do without (also - it's expensive).

I don't expect to suddenly stop, I'll try to wean myself off them, when I get a "craving" for one I'll see if I can postpone it or find a reason why it's not a good idea.

I guess it started when I became unwell, I wasn't working and had a lot of time on my hands, when you're lying in bed unwell a lot, sometimes it's nice to be among people. I think that's where the habit has come from.

Monday, September 24, 2007

It's taken a while but now I'm 18kg away from goal. As you can see from the graph, I put on weight recently when I realised that my accountable person had decided to stop contacting me, I relaxed somewhat and decided to treat myself. That took a while to get back from, but here I am where I was on the 15th of May.

100g a day is an achieveable amount of carbohydrates, I can sustain that, I'm having a reward meal this afternoon then tomorrow back into the diet and I'll slowly and gently take it down when I feel that I can manage it.

I am through the period that I was dreading a bit, 19th to 23rd, my mother's deaths anniversary was a lot easier to handle, she died when she was 81 which is something most people can accept.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

I'm not a big rambler on this blog, but today I thought I'd make an exception. I'm still losing weight, having a new weight loss buddy is great and there are no problems there. I tried 70g of carbohydrates and that was too hard as well, so I thought I'd up it to 100g (today being the first day) and slowly reduce it to see if I can reduce my cravings. I'm still hungry but I'll work that out, hopefully. Losing weight is slow, and you need to work on it every day.

Yesterday was the 5 year anniversary of my ex-partner Gill's death at the age of 51. I decided to treat myself to a coffee and slice and think of her and ditch the whole counting carbohydrates for that day. There is something about a nice sweet slice, I like reading the newspaper and looking at the people in the mall that is nearby. I went to university and did some study, sent Gill's daughter a text message then watched music videos on my laptop. The music videos were of songs that reminded me of Gill, there's been a few over the years.

Of course that made me feel even more down, I wonder if I hadn't taken my laptops headphones I would have felt better, as it happened I decided to indulge myself and bought 2 litres of ice cream on the way home. Becky understood of course, I finished off a large plate full then went to bed.

I might do the same (coffee and slice, ice cream I've already got now) on Sunday, when it's the 5th anniversary of my mothers death. It always amazes me when I think of how I continued losing weight during those times. I was a lot thinner than now, I was about 73kg, compared with 84kg now.

Sometimes when you are facing a long, hard challenge and you think about giving up, that happened yesterday (unrelated to the feeling down) but only for a few minutes. I am grateful that my weight loss buddy will hopefully keep me going. I can't think of anything else that will.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

A few weeks back I posted about carbohydrate addiction, and how I was sure that I had it. I've also got caffeine addiction, something that many people have and don't need to do anything about, unfortunately I do. My health problem means that when I have caffeine the next day I am really tired, I have trouble dragging myself out of bed in the morning although after a while I feel like I can manage to some degree.

At the moment I'm having way too much Coke, that liquid that has two addicitive substances in it, sugar and caffeine. Yes, there is diet Coke but the sugar substitute in it has the same effect on my whole appetite system as sugar.

I've struggled with caffeine addiction in the past, but I did manage to go a whole two years without one bit (Coke or coffee) which is something I'm quite proud of. I'll try to do that again. I tried today but gave in, tomorrow I'll try again.

The problem with Coke is that when I have it, it stimulates my appetite and I've got no control over what I eat after that. Today I just ate and ate after having the drink, it was shameful really.

That said, tomorrow is another day. I've found the best way to get off caffeine is when I say to myself "Just one drink won't matter" it's time to buy a small bar of chocolate, there is enough caffeine in that to reduce my cravings. After a while the cravings stop, although they can continue for about 6 months, totally random too. Chocolate has sugar in it, which is a problem of course but I don't buy heaps of it so it won't be a too difficult for my whole keeping carbohydrates in check.

One thing I will miss about caffeine (apart from the increased energy feeling) is that I'm sure that it increases my intelligence, usually for about 30 minutes. Oh I really must start work on that data analysis project I've been thinking about for so long I'll think to myself as I'm walking around with a bottle of Coke in my hand or maybe I should do my degree in mathematics rather than engineering, it's not that bad. I'll miss that. I won't miss the crappy feeling in the morning or the circulation problems.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

As I was slowly eating half an apple today, I decided that 60g of carbohydrates a day is just too difficult for me, I'm constantly thinking of food, not because I'm hungry (which I'm not) but because I'm thinking of spreading the whole 60g throughout the day and not eating a whole piece of fruit because I may get hungry later on. That's the hard part about the diet that I'm on. So I'll try 70g a day and see how that goes. If that's too hard (I'll see if I'm thinking about food constantly too) I'll just increase it in 10g steps until things are easier. I can always reduce it later on when any residual craving/habit leaves me.

Speaking of habits, this diet is hard because of the volume of food that I'm eating. There is just not much of it, so I'm used to having a piece of fruit now and then (it's not unusual for me to eat 6 pieces of fruit a day when I'm not trying to lose weight) and the whole filling my stomach - I've done that for 43 years and a 43 year habit is hard to break. I'm sure I'll get there, but this is too difficult at the moment.

I am sorry to say that my accountable person has stopped contacting me, so I needed to go out and find a new one soon, fortunately it was easier than I expected it to be. It's sad that people decide to stop losing weight, but I definitely need someone with me, I don't know if I can do this on my own.

As a consequence, I put on a bit of weight over the last week, but it's not fat, just what I'd call "intestinal mass". So I'm losing this mass and my weight is dropping suddenly, always good, but I'm not really losing fat very fast or anything.

In terms of money spent on food, total so far is $460.59 over 54 days which means $59.71, just below my budget of $60.00, money for my camera should be $176, none so far, until I get some extra money.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

I've been reading weight loss blogs for about 2 years now, and I have yet to see someone actually reach goal weight - until now. Lesley of Live to Slim has made it, she lost 53kg and went from a BMI of 44.5 to 25.8. Congratulations Lesley! She used Lighter Life to lose the weight, which is a very low energy diet. I'm sure all readers here wish her well.

This means that I will not be coming first on my little competition to reach goal, the number of blogs that I'm checking seems to be reducing (2 women got pregnant and one deleted their blog - always sad to see that happen), and there are a few people who may beat me to the finish line. We'll see.

Have a look on the right hand sidebar, you'll see "Weight Loss Hall of Fame" which is a list of blogs that I read where the owner reaches goal, Lesley is first there and maybe a few more before I can list my own blog. Yes, it does seem a bit silly with a blog listing itself but losing weight and reaching goal is something that I should be proud of.

Congratulations again Lesley, we all wish you all the best at maintaining your new achievement!

As is typical for me, I haven't posted what I've meant to post, which is my carbohydrate intake. Anyway, I'm losing weight because I actually have started cutting back on the carbs, for a few days now I've been at 60g a day and for a few days I've been over that. I've noticed that my weight has dropped dramatically but I'm sure that it's just all the food emptying from my body, rather than fat disappearing.

Yesterday I was in a bit of a tizz about how my blog has an estimate on when I will complete my weight loss. When I first gave an estimate when I started the blog, I chose 250 days, and yesterday I decided that I should reduce that to 230 days. The thing is that many times I've worked out by mathematical means how long it would take me to finish losing weight, and of course I've been wrong because I haven't been at goal in about 7 years, so you can understand why I wasn't sure what to do. I decided that I'd keep it at 230 days, it will always show too many days because I'd rather not have to increase the number, I'd hate that. I have a theoretically possible date in my head which is early January, based on 7 days per kg but there is no way that I'd be able to sustain that, it's just a "if I were able to..." calculation.

It's been ages since I've done my money, I've spent $202.45 since the last calculation (of course I've left it way too long) making a total of $335.29 since July 21st which is $49.94 a week, amazingly below budget. From now on, I'll be (hopefully!) writing what I buy, it's a bit of a nuisance but it is a bit scary doing so, which does mean it keeps me on track a bit.

The money container should have $142 in it but it has none, that's because I'm a bit short of money at the moment, when that situation stops then I'll be able top it up to what it should be. On a side note, Becky lost a $5 bet (whether her friend came to NZ from the UK recently with her partner and was going to announce something (engagement, pregnancy...), I said she wouldn't) so that goes into the container as well. I seem to win most of the bets I have with her, it's pretty easy really. Of course, I'm hoping to win the $150 bet with her about whether I can stay at goal for one year after finishing losing weight.

Speaking of Becky, a few days ago I asked her whether I was losing weight too quickly for her, she said no, and said that she really did want me to get to 66kg. I've just got a feeling that those negative comments will start again, time will tell I guess.

Friday, August 31, 2007

It is becoming so obvious to me that I suffer carbohydrate addiction. Yesterday, the first day of my medium carbohydrate diet, I got an uncontrollable urge to go and have some sweet things to eat, and I also had a nice sweet drink. Basically, it's there, telling me to go and buy and eat foods that aren't good for me.

I got out the Carbohydrate Addicts Diet out of the library, did the self-test and got 18 points out of 60. That's in the 'safe zone' but I still think I'm addicted. There is just too much evidence.

Because of that, I'm still trying to do the 60g a day. One thing about me, I haven't got staying power (hopefully that will change) but I keep trying.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

About 3 months ago, as my weight was slowly increasing, I knew that I had to get another set of pants, as the main set (I don't have many - testiment to me holding out until I lose weight) were about to 'burst'. Really. So I went and got a cheap set - waist 90cm and of course the biggest pair of pants I've ever owned. Jean designers take the easy way out - the bigger the body, the higher the waist. I felt like I was wearing fishing waders. Anyway, they served me well those emergency jeans, but when I was doing some work outside, they kept on slipping down, it was obvious that their time had come to an end. Off they go. I'll still wear them once in a while, but again only as emergency jeans, when my main pair aren't available.

That leaves me with just one pair, which are really tight (I had to lie down to put them on, I think they'll loosen up a bit maybe) but they look ok. I've got a muffin top now, but it'll go away within 5kg (fingers crossed). I've got a waist 79cm pair of jeans that have been waiting quietly to be worn for at least 18 months, I bought them when they were tight, and I started gaining just afterwards. There is no way in hell I'll be able to wear them for at least 10kg loss, maybe more. I've also scheduled a second pair of that size as a reward for when I reach 72kg.

It feels good to be able to 'turn back time', so to speak. My stomach is forced up and out with these now pants, but as time progresses they'll loosen up as I lose weight.

This last kilogram took a while (about 13 days in fact) but I'm pleased to say that I've lost another kilogram. So I've lost about 3 1/2 kilograms, at this point I'd normally be getting bored and tired with the whole losing weight game, but now that I've got my accountable person who is watching what I'm doing, and also there is no way that I'm going to give them heaps of money, I think I've got things worked out, at least for the moment.

It has been so long since I've been in the sixties kilograms, 8 years really, and I don't know whether other people do this, but I've got all these memories (I think I've got a good memory) of all of my weight loss efforts, the running, Zone diet, telling friends I've lost another kg, blogging etc etc since December 2000, and I hate to say that all of it has come to naught. That makes me feel sad.

I'm a big fan of thinking "lowest weight since xxxx" so as I lose weight I can wipe the slate clean of all those memories. Especially 72-74kg, that was a time in 2002 when I was having essentially the worst year of my life (and future life, until the year I die) and I feel sad that I put on so much since those troubles. Anyway, I'm the lowest weight since about the 22nd May this year. Nothing of significance happening then, apart from my partner had just moved in about 3 weeks earlier.

Because things have been slowing down, I've decided to put in another attempt at restricting carbohydrates, and going for about 60g a day. I'll give it a go for a week, I've done this before but I like fruit, which is the problem. I guess that an apple fills my stomach quite a bit, part of the pleasure in eating it I guess. I'll try to have only one of each variety of fruit each day, to increase my pleasure in food when it comes to restricting carbohydrates.

Friday, August 17, 2007

I thought I would make a list of the fears related to my weight loss, this list will be interesting and useful when I complete my weight loss.

That I will put on weight and the whole losing weight thing will be a failure. This is a reasonable fear, after all it has happened many times in the past. The only way to prevent it from happening is to have 2 guiding systems in place - an incentive to lose weight (the camera) and an incentive to not put on weight or lose weight too slowly (giving money to the person that I am accountable to). I guess that is all I have.

That I've been bigger for so long that I won't accept my new slim body. I know that some people have this problem, I think it's unlikely (I do recall staring at the mirror a lot in 2000) but it'll be about 11 years since I've been at 66kg. I'm sure lots of people will agree, that's a long, long time. Even at 67kg, it's been 7 years since I've been there.

That my partner will not be attracted to me when I am at goal. I really don't know about this one. Becky has certainly seen video and photos of me when I was young and slim, and when we met I was only about 8kg heavier than goal weight. But she has over the years shown that she is uncomfortable with my weight loss, either by making negative comments (infrequent but there nonetheless) or inferring in a general way that she wasn't keen on me losing weight. Someone said that it was likely related to her own size, but it's hard to work out if that's the case.

Should I ever be single again, that women will not be attracted to a thin man. If the fear above is difficult to predict, this one is even harder to work out. Certainly one woman has found me attractive at 66kg, but when it came to dating, I was generally heavier than what I'd liked to be. There seems to be a general consensus that woman like medium build, muscular guys and not being muscular, and intending to be thin, that leaves me out. For my age and height, I'd be in the lightest 5% of men. I know all women are different but it is an issue that concerns me, not a large amount, but it's there.

That the person who I am being accountable to will stop being that and as a result I put on weight. This seems to be working so well at the moment, I'd hate it to stop working. Should it do so, the answer would be to go to a website like Sparkpeople.com and find one as soon as possible, preferably in New Zealand.

I will hit goal and then rebound, like I did in 2000. In 2000, I reached goal (67kg back then) and immediately rebounded since I was under a lot of stress with my girlfriends parents, in an unusual situation. It is unlikely that sort of stress will reoccur, but since it's happened once, it could happen again. I've got a $150 bet with Becky about whether I'll stay at goal for one year, hopefully that'll keep me on track. Once I'm at goal, I intend to save up for a more expensive camera, over a much longer period of time. Again, using the same general method as now (saving money only when I'm at 66kg). A good idea would be to keep in contact with an accountable person, using a similar method that I've got now.

My weight loss will induce a metabolic problem such as reduced metabolic rate. I don't think that it is likely that this will happen, but you never know, do you? I've read that dieting makes people more likely to gain weight in the future, but with a 98% failure rate, it isn't surprising. Then again, it's logical that the body will enter 'starvation mode' under the stress of losing weight quickly (I'm not doing that) but the question is when does it happen and when doesn't it? When is it permanent and when is it temporary? No one is likely to have answers to this question.

Some problem will enter my life and I'll put on weight, either during the weight loss or at goal. This has happened before - breaking my arm after having been at goal for 1 year, also ex girlfriend breaking up with me in a totally unexpected situation, we continued seeing each other but because of the situation that presented itself, I was quite lonely. These things can't be predicted, they happen about once every 3-5 years. That means they are reasonably unlikely to happen before reaching goal weight. If they happen after, well I'll just have to take things in my stride I guess.

Those are the main fears that I have related to weight loss. They aren't big, but they're there. It will be interesting to see how I'll feel about them as I lose weight and when I reach goal.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Yes, it's boring but I want to announce to the world that I've lost yet another kilogram. Having an accountable person really makes things a whole lot easier. I don't want to go on about how this has helped things (just in case I jinx things) but having someone going along with me has helped things immensely. Also, weighing daily helps as well, I'm an immediate feedback sort of person. I need to know when I'm losing weight and I need to know when I'm gaining. Currently I owe my accountable person $2. Lowest weight in about 80 days.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

I thought through the whole am I losing weight too slowly thing yesterday and decided that it was definitely time to make a concerted effort to lose weight faster. You may recall that I was planning to talk to someone who I could be made accountable to in terms of gaining weight, that was fine but now I've decided to speed things up, I've changed plans somewhat and now I have a specific rate that I want to lose at. I've decided to not put that rate up here, because I realised that any pressure has a negative effect on me. The less people who know about my desired rate the better.

In order to make things easier, I'm as an experiment going back to counting carbohydrates, and allowing myself a bit more this time, 80 grams a day. Remember, this is just an experiment so if it turns out bad, I'll just stop doing it.

I had my reward meal yesterday, McDonalds burger, chips and drink. It was nice, mainly because it was a reward rather than the actual food. Funny that.

Friday, August 10, 2007

It may be boring but I feel the need to count down the kilograms that I need to lose. That may change in the future, but for now it is good for me to do. I haven't lost much, about 1.6kg, but I've got to start somewhere and I'm the lowest weight in about 8 weeks which isn't bad. A bigger concern is the time I'm taking to lose weight, at the moment I'm losing very slowly, I need to speed it up a bit, but not too much, or I'll have problems when I fail to reach goals.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

I'm still losing weight, but the rate that I'm losing is quite slow - which means that I might not make my goal weight by next Easter, when I'm having my high school reunion. That really doesn't bother me too much (there aren't likely to be many people there who know me) but I don't want the whole losing weight thing to drag on forever. Of course, if I push it up a bit, I'll feel pressure and I've found pressure to lose weight at a specific rate in the past has not been very successful, it only leads to disappointment.

Mondays shopping was a lot better, I'm trying to buy 2 litres of ice cream once a month as my source of a treat, and the slice of cake is when I go out, I'll take it with me and buy a coffee to have with it when I'm out.

Total so far is $132.84 which equals $51.66 a week, a bit on the high side, since I'm having whey powder and frozen veges which I bought earlier.

Money to be put away for the camera totals so far is $46, however I haven't got around to physically putting the money into the jar, no doubt that will happen later on.

I think that I've got someone who is willing to help me with the whole preventing putting on weight thing. That is the biggest amount of support I've got from someone in terms of losing weight for as long as I can remember. I'm very pleased and looking forward to being accountable to someone. I did a similar thing with my brother earlier in the year, but after a few months he suggested that we finish because one particular month both of us put on weight - I guess it wasn't working for him (we were trying to lose weight together).

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

I seem to be getting into the swing of things, finally. I had some problems with my scales, they may (or not have) been showing the wrong values, which is a royal pain but there is not much that can be done about that. I certainly know how some people feel dispair when after trying to lose weight for a month, say and after weighing themselves find they have not lost any weight. For me, more often is better, and it's good to alternate dressed and undressed just in case the scales are playing tricks on me.

How often should a person weigh themself? The best I've decided is not so often that the person is feeling over overwhelmed by the quantity of weighings, and not so infrequent that if the scales do not budge one point, the person is upset about it.

I haven't got around to calibrating my scales yet, but at the moment I'm about 87.5kg.

Food wise, it hasn't been great - I've been buying not so good food:

SundayMilk $2.90Crustkits $2.50Biscuits $2.40

MondaySweets $2

WednesdayCoffee and slice $7.50

ThursdayKFC $5

FridayFilled roll $4.50Coffee and slice $9.50Drink $3

SaturdayBurger and ice cream $2.60

SundayApples $3Pop corn $2

MondayCoffee and slice $7.50

TuesdayCroissants $5

Notice that most of the above food would be described as recreational food. I need to do better in that, the maximum recreational food amount per week should be $10-15.

Total so far is $71.70 over 12 days which equals $41.83 a week. A bit high, given that I've got a large amount of vegetables and protein powder powder that I am going through. As for saving up for the camera, I need $28 in my container now, unfortunately there is none, but I'll start putting money in there and soon I'll have caught up with what I should have put in.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

As often happens, the diet did not go to plan. Well, I stuck with it, but I just wasn't losing weight. In the past, I have lost weight using the whole 'just cutting back of everything' method (with increased protein), and it has worked, so maybe I should go back to that method instead of increasing my fat intake. I know that I can fiddle with the carbohydrates and fat intake, I'll just let the protein stay at about 60g.

My weight loss has been stagnant, there just isn't the motivation for it. Because of that, I want to get losing weight, the idea is to give away money when I have a 'wasted day' of my weight loss. That's when I'm losing, then I gain again, every day after that increase is a 'wasted day' until I get back to where I was previously. I want to give $2 to someone who I can be accountable to for each wasted day.

I'll ask them when I see them next in a week and see what they think about it.

I have come to the conclusion that having a weight loss blog really doesn't improve your weight loss efforts. That's because of the 20 weight loss blogs I'm tracking, the average weight loss for July was just over 1g. That compares with 475g for June, making an average of about 238g per month. That's really bad, basically people are stagnant in their weight loss. It just seems that half go up and half go down, the next month each person swaps sides.

I have to admit that I'm not a competitive person. That's my nature. But here's a chance to win. I'm tracking 20 weight loss blogs (including this one), maybe I should see if I can beat some people to goal. At the start of June, I was in 20th position, start of July I was in 19th and now I am in 20th position again. I want to see how many people I can pass as I move nearer to reaching goal (position is based on kg's from goal weight).

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Ever since I developed a health problem, 14 years ago (at the age of 29) I've had weight problems. My body has simply lost the ability to maintain a constant weight, a feature that many people have but some (myself included) don't realise it's working until it stops working.

This blog is a record of my weight loss, with all its successes and failures. I want to lose about 23kg, the exact amount I'm not sure because I need to calibrate my scales. That will happen in a few weeks, so any weights are uncalibrated, when I calibrate I'll change any values here.

In terms of eating, I want to a) eat at least 60g of protein a day b) no more than 60g of carbohydrates a day. This is would be considered a medium carbohydrate diet.

Also, I'll record my food spending because that is important to me as well, being on a low income. It's a shame but it actually costs more to be on a diet (usually because of the cost of protein).

I typically weigh in once a day, but I'm not so sure how often I'll post, probably between 2-3 times a week and 2-3 times a month.

In terms of a time frame, having been burned in terms of date/weight goals in the past, I've decided to not have any, but I shall give estimates and comparisons to when I successfully lost weight in 2000 (and speeded up at the end as well!).

There is a high school reunion in Easter next year, I'd like to be finished by then, also I'll probably be getting married about the same time, I really need to know that my partner is ok with my being slim, ideally before we get married. Yes, it sounds a bit unusual, it's a bit of an issue between us.

Now, I'd like to have a little talk about my theory about motivation.

Why do some people lose weight, and others fail? Why is the average weight loss for the 20-odd weight loss blogs I read about 105g a week? My theory on motivation is simple: good health and being slim is notenough motivation for most people. If it was, we wouldn't put on weight in the first place. There has to be another motivation - something that willmake someone motivated to lose the weight.

My motivation is a new camera. The day I reach 66kg is the day I go to the camera shop and buy a new digital camera. However, it is quite expensive and so I'm saving up, which brings up another issue. No money for camera, no weight loss. There just is no motivation there. The two go hand in hand. The day I reach 66kg is the day I get the camera. The day I reach $630 is the day I achieve 66kg. No 66kg, no camera. No $630, no 66kg.

I'm fortunate in that the price will probably drop in the 6+ months before I buy the camera, so that's good news.

Currently I have the following 'saved':Birthday money owed by partner $20Won a bet with partner $5Christmas money owed by father $25

In addition, the following amounts of money will come along:Christmas (father and partner) about $50Birthday in Feb (father and partner again) about $50Partner pays me $5/kg weight loss (I pay her the same) $100

This makes a grand total of $250 out of $630, leaving $390 to save (in about 30 weeks). That's doable.

In an attempt to both save and spend less, $2 goes into the jar when I buy any food worth $2 or more.

So, from yesterday (the day when I started this system) I boughtCoffee and slice $7.70Cookie $2.00Chocolate bar $2.60

Total $12.30 and $6 into the jar (when I have it - I'm really short of money at the moment).