Universal Pictures may have jumped the gun by announcing long-term
plans for its "Dark Universe," an interconnected series of films built around
the studio's stable of classic monsters, like Dracula,
The Wolf Man, The Invisible Man, and my personal favorite, the Creature from
the Black Lagoon. This planned franchise has suffered one failed launch
already: once upon a time, 2014's "Dracula Untold" was supposed to begin the
series, but it seems we're pretending that never happened. This time, however,
it appears Universal is committed.

The
inaugural entry into this world of gods and monsters is "The Mummy," an
action-horror blockbuster desperately in search of an identity. Alternating
between goofy and gritty, the film isn't really good at either, and it ends up
feeling more cobbled together than Frankenstein's monster (soon to be played by
Javier Bardem, if things keep cruising along). At
least eight films were announced before this one was even released, and by the
time the credits roll, the knowledge that there's seven more to come inspires
nothing but dread.

"The Mummy"
opens with an extended prologue telling us the story of an ancient Egyptian
princess, Ahmanet (Sofia Boutella), whose thirst for
power led her to desperate acts. After making a pact with Set, the god of the
dead, and murdering her family, she ended up buried alive as punishment for her
misdeeds.

From there
the movie jumps ahead to present day, where we meet Nick Morton (Tom Cruise)
and his wisecracking sidekick, Chris (Jake Johnson). They're a pair of
globetrotting treasure hunters who, it soon becomes clear, are less interested
in protecting precious antiquities than in selling them off for a tidy profit.

There's a
bit of Cruise's against-type role from "Edge of Tomorrow" to Morton's morally
unscrupulous anti-hero, but the actor's charms are considerably diminished.
Alex Kurtzman doesn't have the knack for directing Cruise's humor that Doug
Liman did, and despite its army of writers, the script's attempts at comedy are
inept at best.

Unfortunately,
Kurtzman isn't much for staging coherent or interesting action, either. But
Cruise is one of our last remaining movie stars for a reason, and whatever you
may think of the guy, there's no denying that he commits 100 percent. I'm
generally a fan of Johnson, but he feels miscast here, especially after his
role takes a turn similar to that of Griffin Dunne's in "American Werewolf in
London."

Along with
archaeologist Jenny Halsey (played by Annabelle Wallis, in a role whose sole
purpose seems to be spouting exposition), Nick and Chris end up inadvertently
awakening Ahmanet after stumbling upon her prison
tomb beneath the deserts of Iraq. After a decently-staged plane crash sequence,
Ahmanet is free to set into motion her nefarious but
vaguely defined plan to reunite a special dagger and a fancy jewel in order to
sacrifice Nick to create a vessel for Set to return, thereby unleashing Hell on
Earth. It's a whole thing.

Nick and
company eventually meet Dr. Henry Jekyll (Russell Crowe), who heads up an
underground organization dedicated to fighting supernatural forces around the
world (which he explains in one snooze-inducing, world-building info-dump).
This character seems meant to be the lynchpin of the "Dark Universe" films, although
putting Dr. Jekyll in charge of the world's fight against evil seems ...
ill-advised. As a leader, he's not exactly a beacon for rational decision-making
(always of two minds about things, you see). At least Crowe appears to be
having a bit of fun with the part.

Boutella has
a natural charisma that shines even through layers of prosthetic makeup (as
previously demonstrated in "Star Trek Beyond") and Ahmanet
certainly looks impressive. But we never really get a sense of her as a
character outside of an all-encompassing evil. There was an opportunity to give
the character a bit more weight, and her backstory feints in that direction by
showing how she was denied her rightful claim to her father's kingdom simply
for being a woman. I'll try to avoid descending into spoiler territory, but
with that in mind, the direction the film ultimately takes with her character
is infuriating to say the least.

Kurtzman
attempts to make "The Mummy" feel as much like a horror movie (or at least
horror adjacent) as possible, which is smart. Obviously it's still a massive
action movie, but with its foggy graveyards and cobwebbed crypts, it indulges
in the iconography of the genre whenever it can. It's a touch that
distinguishes it from 1999's "The Mummy," which aimed more for an "Indiana
Jones" style adventure. The film's overall creature design is solid, but the
choice to use mostly digital effects instead of practical makeup is definitely
disappointing.

Universal is
taking a big swing with its "Dark Universe." Every studio seems to be following
the Marvel, connected-universe template, but what most seem to forget is that
the studio didn't immediately announce plans for a giant, connected universe of
films, and instead allowed it develop over time. And made sure people actually
wanted it in the first place.

By
immediately jumping all-in, "The Mummy" ends up feeling like nothing but a
corporate product; one that's just testing the waters before deciding exactly
what it wants to be. You'd think that might have been worked out before the
finished movie got tossed into theaters, but that's not how Hollywood operates
these days. As is, the film is one missed opportunity after another. But hey,
with a start this rocky, there's nowhere to go but up.