I feel like I should say something on this topic because, I have had bouts with it. I get very numb at times, almost frozen emotionally. Right now I am still very much staggered from a few changes in life, I did not want or ask for...but it is what it is. What I can say is that there is love out there in this world, I know it may seem very cold at times. I know there are times when we all feel so alone. Just always remember there are people who are pulling for you, who are ready to offer a smile when you are feeling discouraged, an umbrella when your rain pours into your life. You just have to remember that you are not alone.

There are people who may not have your exact set of circumstances but they know the pain of emptiness and the feeling of despair. In your darkest moments, just know you are loved, you are embraced, and you are regarded. :hugs:

As one who knows all to well, though circumstances are very different... one such as myself cares, and understands the question, when will it be enough... I wonder too. Now is not the time, for some, I guess, but when I see another going through the same bs that life for whatever purpose, has dished out yet another heaping bulldozer full..I try to tell that person, fully, 150% I am 'here for them, in PM, in spirit..whatever. Just letting someone know we are hurting.. in some capacity, brings a load of support from those who understand that question.

I also chose not to take the medications for depression, I had tried them all, none worked they made me sicker, more suicidal.

I think at times, the statement: whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, is one that when depressed makes you want to give in or give up even more. Whoever said it first, should be taken to the back forty, dropped over a cliff by a rope that is frayed, and let that poor sap wonder if in the end will he or she be rescued..in my girlie like not so humble opinion.

I am sorry I was not 'here' for you Adammair. I wish I had been around when you needed to 'talk, have a hug, or just listen quietly.

*leaves hugs, good thoughts, and an open inbox for PM's..*

I'm very certain the chiche 'what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger' does not apply to the chronically depressed. I think It's the opposite.Sure, you get to learn to deal with things. But I think those things that do not kill you keep lingering inside of you. And thus make you weaker then you were before.

I think it is the chronic portion that doesn't fit the cliche. For most people there are hurdles in life to get past, obstacles that can be overcome. These impediments do make the person stronger. For the individuals with a chronic disorder, there is never a knowledge that some day this ordeal will be done with, finished, complete. There is the ever present knowledge that we will live with this until we die. That is not a hurdle, it is a walk of endurance. So we keep holding on, waiting for those moments of joy that intersperse the gloom. We live for the hope, the embrace, the kind word and do our best to not drown in the darkness.

I think it is the chronic portion that doesn't fit the cliche. For most people there are hurdles in life to get past, obstacles that can be overcome. These impediments do make the person stronger. For the individuals with a chronic disorder, there is never a knowledge that some day this ordeal will be done with, finished, complete. There is the ever present knowledge that we will live with this until we die. That is not a hurdle, it is a walk of endurance. So we keep holding on, waiting for those moments of joy that intersperse the gloom. We live for the hope, the embrace, the kind word and do our best to not drown in the darkness.

hell I still have bouts with this, but RPing and gaming so far have staved off my attempts at suicide. It does suck, especially when you think there's no one alive that knows what your going through and therapists and drugs never help because thy suck and you get immune (disregard to thsoe few therapists that actually work)

Hang tight those of us suffering from depression. We can make it out of this I know we can.

I think I realize my issue now. I have friends, but what I want is someone who is an on-call friend. Someone who can meet me at a coffee shop or pub at any random time. Or someone whose house I can go to at anytime. I do have the latter, but it takes almost an hour to get there and... ...

-sigh-

I'm tired of all my relationships being mostly communicating online... Love you people and other online friends, but... -sigh-

I'm tired of all my relationships being mostly communicating online... Love you people and other online friends, but...

I have this too, especially since my marriage broke down. My family live a good hours drive away and I'm insanely shy normally in RL which makes it hard to meet others I don't know in person. All my online friends are awesome but in a lot of ways it's just not the same :( *hugs*

Tempted to put out a "Whose in... [my location]" but I have a feeling that'd be terribly inappropriate. But... do we ever do meetups? Cuz that'd be cool.

Since 2002, before my accident and when I had a car, I drove all over the USA meeting online friends. People I trusted. Some worked out great, we are still friends, some not so great. It is a risk, but I have never been truly hurt by any of those meets.

I live in USA a PM for where, is better than having it here..and anyone who wants to meet me, must like my little dog, or it is war..(just saying).. :)

While waiting to see if I get a referral for therapy or not, currently I'm feeling like life is just an epic fail. About ten minutes ago I've decided everything has ceased to be fun, so I don't even have a diversion...just to muddle through and exist. Ick.

While waiting to see if I get a referral for therapy or not, currently I'm feeling like life is just an epic fail. About ten minutes ago I've decided everything has ceased to be fun, so I don't even have a diversion...just to muddle through and exist. Ick.

I am sorry to hear that Ariabella. *hugs* life is not a fail, just don't give up. Sending you a PM..

In one of the depression books I read, he said that motivation doesn't preceed activity, and that activity sometimes has to preceed motivation. I get like that sometimes, where nothing is fun, but I just have to force myself to do SOMETHING. Sometimes it works, and takes my mind off my misery, and other times it doesn't do anything and I just end bored and frustrated, but it's worth it for those times it does help.

I agree with that Anjasa. It doesn't always work for me but it can, hard as it is to force myself to do something it can give me a small boost. I think it has a better chance if what you force yourself to do is something productive so you can feel like you've achieved something once it is done. Sometimes this motivates me to try doing something else, sometimes it doesn't but just gives me a small boost to know I did something even when I'm feeling awful.