I just spent four days participating in my first art retreat with Flora Bowley called Bloom True. I want to write about it now before I slip back into my normal life and the fiery glow dissipates.

Last year I participated in my first retreat ever, a Brene Brown Daring Way retreat, with my friend Gina. I never wrote about in detail and I really wish I would have documented more. Both were life changing, which sounds so cliche, but its so true.

​Like the Daring Way retreat, I went in feeling terrified and vulnerable and left feeling forever grateful for the incredibly transformative experience. Right now, I'm a couple days out, thirsting for more, raw with emotion, open to possibility, and embracing connection.

I started following Flora's work 79 weeks ago to be exact. I know, because I found her book (the same time I got Kelly Rae Robert's book) at the library, took it with me with to the beach, devoured it, and posted about it on instagram. I had gone to the library in search of art inspiration books while I was taking Brene Brown's art journaling class.

This shit is all connected. Seriously.

I can look back and see the connections, this trajectory of artistic awakening happening simultaneously with my path towards more whole hearted living. Or maybe because of each other? Who knows, but it's happening and it's awesome and scary and confusing and makes so much sense.

I know I signed up for this retreat the same week that I quit my full-time job (that I've had for the last ten years) and accepted a part-time gig. That feels connected, too.

This was more than an art retreat.

​It was a total mind, body, and soul experience. Flora (and her amazing team) curate a long weekend of magic that goes beyond painting. There's so much to savor - the welcome meditation exercise, the stunning studio space in industrial Portland, gift bags full of goodies, delicious food (platters of gorgeous treats from LoveShovel and catered meals from local restaurants), optional morning yoga with Lynx, gifted mini paintings from Flora, live music from a local musician, a pop-up tea shop, an extended wine and pizza painting night, and Pearl the therapy dog.

And then there's the painting. Flora's lessons in brave and intuitive painting, her live painting demos (which I could watch all day), the guided art prompts, the helpful tips and tricks, the gracious feedback, the art business q&a, and her openness and encouraging support.

It was rad. All of it.

Magic.

Big magic.

​(Actually, I'm reading that book right now, but I'll save those thoughts for another day.) She's so talented and I'm thankful she shares these gifts with others.

Vulnerability is hard.

That's not to say I didn't struggle. I ended day two with a meltdown, frustrated beyond belief, convinced I'd wasted my time and money, and questioning whether I wanted to return.

Looking back, it's hard to believe I felt this way. The third day I had major breakthroughs, overcame the fear, and worked it out.

​By the fourth day, I knew it was worth every penny and valued the process.

This is my finished painting. I learned so much about mark making, color, depth, bold moves, and layering. Oh, the layers! So many layers of paint here. I had a couple folks offer to buy it before it was even done and several more since it's completion. That's shocking and terrifying, but mostly, it's awesome and exciting and encouraging.