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Escapee.. and a third fixed term exclusion in four weeks

Yesterday when I went to pick Dinky up I went round to the Nurture exit, I was shocked to see Dinky picking up things off the floor with the deputy head and a nurture assistant guarding the door.

When Dinky had finished picking it up and the deputy was ready, she called me in and asked me through to her office. I sat down with Dinky and the Deputy said that Dinky had a difficult day, and that she had trouble following instructions. With that Dinky was up and gone. I grabbed her stuff and chased after her. I thought she was ok as she cant get out due to the exit having a door release system. However Dinky ran straight through the office and in to the photocopier room. I went in there and tried to get her out. She wasn’t having any of it and even my best PDA techniques could not undo the high anxiety from the demand of clearing up the Nurture room. She was a little hyper and was grabbing things. I took some keys off her, and she bolted, she pushed a door and it opened, it opened straight onto the path next to a road. By the time I had processed that the door actually opened, she was out, I chased after her, but she ran straight across the road and I had to grab hold of her. She was not happy. I had to try and calm her down and get her wrist reins on before we could leave to come home. I managed to calm her enough to go back into the office, tell them the door was unlocked and tell them I would be back in the morning to finish the conversation but I didn’t feel it was a good idea to have the conversation right now.

So we went home and she was quick to snap and very quick to anger. However she did go to bed ok after we watched Christmas films.

This morning I fully intended to go into the school and say ” How was my child able to exit the school so easily? made worse by the fact that she has a risk assessment for absconding”

However I was not expecting the conversation to go the way it did.

First the head explained that she was worried about Dinky’s safety due to her finding the delivery door.

Oh… ok.

Then she went through what happened yesterday. Dinky hadn’t had the best morning but she was ok. However in the afternoon Dinky had kicked off majorly, the nurture group kids and staff were removed from the room for their own safety. Dinky had been throwing tables and chairs, turning all the taps on, destroying things, ripping things off the walls ect. The head was off, but the deputy phoned her and explained that she was worried that she couldn’t control Dinky. However, dinky was given the choice of tidying up before I got there or when I got there. She decided to tidy before I got there, and everything else I know. She had pictures of the carnage.

She explained that given Dinky was very unpredictable at the moment and prone to escaping she was worried about her safety. She also said that the senior leadership team were unable to support her today given that they had interviews. So there was a high risk that if she tried to escape or had a bad day that she would be excluded again.

I explained that I had plans to go to the next town until lunchtime. She said that if Dinky needed to be restrained then she would be the one to do it.

I went to the next town for a coffee morning and shortly after I was making a joke about answering my phone to the school with … “is it a fixed term exclusion”, my phone rang at 11 ish and it was the school. I said ” Is it a fixed term exclusion” and everyone laughed. When I came back in all I knew was that she was being excluded. I told them that I would be back after lunch. On our way out one of the other mums getting a lift back was paying for membership to the special needs house, and I decided to pay the deposit for Dinky’s birthday party there. So deposit paid I got a lift to the school.

As I got there Dinky was carried out to me and wasn’t happy, so I had to try and calm her down before her stuff was brought down to her. I was handed a letter by the office staff as the head of Nurture said see you tomorrow. The head said she would phone me in the afternoon. I looked at the letter and saw it was for persistent disruptive behaviour.

It wasn’t until I got home got Dinky settled and she had dinner and I looked at the letter properly. Then I saw that it was for 2.5 days. I was angry. I had no real idea why she was sent home for that length of time when all her previous exclusions had only been for an afternoon. If the letter said violence I would have understood more.

We didn’t go to her swim lesson today as she was still all over the place. So at 6 she had her melatonin and then went upstairs with her iPad. 6.05pm I get a call from the head teacher.

Dinky had run out of Nurture and onto the playground, went over the small gate and then tried to scale the bigger gate. She was met by the senco and a TA. Dinky said she was hungry so they managed to get her in with a promise of a chocolate biscuit. She then calmed down and went back into nurture where she ran out again, she went into the head teachers office and they tried to stop her leaving so Dinky spat at the head teacher and then climbed on the sink area, squirted washing up liquid everywhere, and then somehow the deputy calmed her and got her to clean up. When she was calmer they managed to ascertain it was a disagreement between dinky and the kid who usually picks on her. The other kid took something off Dinky and dinky wanted it back. Instead of fighting dinky had run off. Then dinky decided to run, and made her way to her favourite teacher, who was a year 6 teacher. Luckily it was that teacher’s PPA time and Dinky was able to stay with her for a bit.

Apparently due to yesterday and today, the spitting and the escape attempts they couldn’t guarantee her safety so she was being excluded for 2.5 days. She said she understands that it is not ideal, but it is what it is, and she wil be bringing it up in the PPM on Monday next week.

So I have to do the last bits for the PPM with Dinky at home. She is not allowed out in public placed during school hours, if she is I could be liable to pay a fixed penalty notice if I fail to provide them with a good reason. So we are under house arrest between 9am and 3.15pm for the next 2 days!

Er.. No.. She was excluded because the school can not do their job properly, they cant keep her safe… I would like to see them try and get a fixed penalty notice off me. I can’t keep dinky cooped up for 2 days!

So there we have it. I said back when she was informally excluded in reception that if they excluded her she would only be learning what to do in order to come home. Then I repeated my concerns 4 weeks ago for the first of the three exclusions, and I was right… 3 in 4 weeks. Not a good statistic, and honestly, she has done worse at this school.

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One thought on “Escapee.. and a third fixed term exclusion in four weeks”

All good evidence for your appeal! I took Dillon to chessington on one of his exclusion days! Exclusion doesn’t work as the kids see it as days off. Dinky is probably relieved she doesn’t have to be there for a few days! I would chill out and spend some quality time doing whatever she wants to do. She’s probably in a very tense place at the moment, as I expect you are! Big hugs.xx

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Thoughts on the crossroads of law, politics and society - for when 140 characters just won't do. This blog contains general information and commentary on legal matters. It is not intended to provide legal advice. This blog discusses the law in England, unless otherwise stated.

Hello, my name is Julia and I’m an adult living with a diagnosis of Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA). I also have a diagnosis of ADHD and Psychotic Episodes. PDA is a lifelong Pervasive Developmental Disorder and was first described by the late Prof. Elizabeth Newson in 1980. PDA is an Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Despite PDA being older than me (just) there are still massive gaps in its recognition, peoples’ understanding and its diagnosis by professionals. I’m one of the lucky ones and this is my story…….