Category Archives: songs about narcissism

A friend of mine and fellow survivor or narcissistic abuse, who courageously started her own rock band (NarCissistic Mary) after she broke free from her narcissist even though she’s over 50, has a brand new song that’s making quite a stir on Youtube.

I’ve posted a couple of their other songs here before. They rock hard and are really good.

I’m waiting until tomorrow to post the video and new publicity photos, because I’m sleepy and have to be up for work in a few hours. Stay tuned!

I came across a song called “You Don’t Know Jack” by Girl With Ukelele. It’s a fun little song about a not so fun subject — a narcissistic “friend.” There’s no video of it, so I linked to the post where I found it, which has an audio you can play.http://fawm.org/songs/57962

Here are the lyrics:

You, you’re always busting zongs
You think you know it all
But you don’t know Jack

You, you think you make the rules
You think you have them fooled
Cause you’re just on crack

chorus:
You may think I’m cruel but
You’re really just a weirdo
A narcissistic fool who thinks he is a hero

You, you think you are so cool
But you’re delusional
And just plain lazy

You , you think you’re so well liked
But they are just polite
They think you’re crazy

chorus:
You may be on top
Cause you lie and cheat to get there
But I will watch you drop
Cause you don’t deserve to be there

You, you kind of creep me out
Now that I figured out
You’re just a psycho

You, you are a parasite
I’m glad I saw the light
I’ve got your number

chorus:
You may think I’m cruel
But you’re really just a weirdo
A narcissistic fool who really is a zero

You, you think you know it all
Well you don’t know it all
You don’t know Jack

Due to the enormous popularity of my previous articles about this topic (both of which now appear at the top of page one of Google–thanks everyone for making these so popular!), I’m adding ten more songs about narcissists today. Music and narcissism go together well– that’s one good thing narcissism has going for it, I guess. 🙂

The Songs.

1. “The Backstabbers” — The O’Jays
It’s very difficult to find songs about narcissists/psychopaths prior to the 1980s, but here’s an excellent one from the early 1970s.

Due to the enormous popularity of my previous articles about this topic (both of which now appear at the top of page one of Google–thanks everyone for making these so popular!), I’m adding 12 more songs about narcissism. Music and narcissism go together well– that’s one good thing narcissism has going for it, I guess. 🙂

The Songs.

1. “The Backstabbers” — The O’Jays
It’s very difficult to find songs about narcissists/psychopaths prior to the 1980s, but here’s an excellent one from the early 1970s.

6. “Trouble” — Taylor Swift
The intro is pretentious and badly written, but Taylor does seem to have a way of attracting abusive and narcissistic men, at least in her songs, and this one is catchy as anything else she’s done.

7. “Black Sun” — Death Cab for Cutie
Alternative rock song about divorcing a narcissist. Thanks to Sachi for suggesting this one.

8. “Words as Weapons” — Seether
A man’s view on trying to deal with a narcissistic woman.

9. Disney’s “Tangled (Rapunzel)–Mother Knows Best”
Song from the Disney movie sung by Rapunzel’s narcissistic mother, who has made Rapunzel her “golden child.”

10. “Out of the Blue” — Julian Casablancas
Good indie rock about a narcissistic relationship.

11. “Mirrors” — Justin Timberlake
Thanks to Quixie for suggesting this one to me. Seems like a nice love song, doesn’t it? Oh, but it’s not. Listen to the lyrics.

12. “Hard to Love” — Lee Brice
A warning to his lady that he’s hard to love. Listen to the lyrics–sounds like a narcissist to me. At least he’s nice enough to warn her in advance.

Narcissism is a hot topic, and popular music is no exception, especially since so many songs are about relationships gone bad and breakups with narcissistic lovers. Whenever possible, I tried to include lyric videos.

1. Christina Aguilera: Vanity

Speaks for itself.

2. Sara Bareilles: King of Anything

Fairly recent, nice indie pop song about a not so nice malignant narcissist.

3. Queen: I Want it All

I couldn’t find a lyric video, but here’s the lyrics:

Adventure seeker on an empty street,
Just an alley creeper, light on his feet
A young fighter screaming, with no time for doubt
With the pain and anger can’t see a way out,
It ain’t much I’m asking, I heard him say,
Gotta find me a future move out of my way,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,

Listen all you people, come gather round
I gotta get me a game plan, gotta shake you to the ground
Just give me what I know is mine,
People do you hear me, just give me the sign,
It ain’t much I’m asking, if you want the truth
Here’s to the future for the dreams of youth,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,

I’m a man with a one track mind,
So much to do in one life time (people do you hear me)
Not a man for compromise and where’s and why’s and living lies
So I’m living it all, yes I’m living it all,
And I’m giving it all, and I’m giving it all,
It ain’t much I’m asking, if you want the truth,
Here’s to the future, hear the cry of youth,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now…

4. Madonna: Material Girl

Madonna purportedly suffers from NPD herself. I don’t doubt it. Still a great 1980s classic though.

5. Rush: Malignant Narcissism (instrumental)

No words, but the title says it all so it belongs here anyway. Good hard rock jam.

6. The Police: Every Breath You Take

The dude in this 1986 megahit definitely seems psychopathic to me.

7. Michelle Branch: Are You Happy Now

Angry pop rock from 2003 about a girl left by her narcissisict lover.

8. Three Days Grace: Just Like You

Don’t want to get infected by her evil!

9. Shawn Colvin: Get Out of this House

The lyrics are oblique and this song may not be about a narcissistic relationship, it could be just a bad breakup but it’s still a great song so I’m posting it anyway. I could not find a lyric video for this.

10. Gloria Gaynor: I Will Survive

I have looked, but there seem to be very, very few songs about narcissism prior to the 1980s (isn’t that an interesting statement about how our society has changed?), but here’s a disco song with a victorious message about escaping from what appears to have been an abusive relationship with a narcissist. This has become a sort of female empowerment anthem but I don’t see why it couldn’t apply to guys escaping from narcissistic women too.

11. Imagine Dragons: Demons

Sounds like an insightful malignant narcissist to me, warning his prey! Sam, did you actually write this?

11. “Every Me and Every You” by Placebo
A commenter named Sinderella suggested this one to me. I never heard it before, but it’s a great rock song and it also comes from the point of view of the narcissist, instead of the victim, which makes it a bit different. Thank you, Sinderella.

12. “Hurt” by Nine Inch Nails
Disturbing look inside the psyche of a malignant narcissist by the well known ’90s rock band.

13. “Live to Tell” by Madonna
One of Madonna’s best and most haunting songs ever. The lyrics are a bit oblique but I read somewhere this was a song about her abusive, psychopathic father. It could be about a love relationship with a narcissist too. (Madonna herself allegedly has NPD–since it’s a family disease, many ACONS also have the disorder).

14. “Farmer’s Daughter” by Crystal Bowersox
Catchy but angry and emotionally cathartic autobiographical folk-pop song about the singer’s abusive, drunk, psychopathic mother, who badly damaged both her children. There wasn’t a lyric video for this because the song was never a big hit, but I think you can understand all the words and the video tells the story.

15. “Don’t You Want Me’ by the Human League
The synth-pop hit from 1981 tells the story of a woman whose narcissistic, manipulative manager/lover is no longer of any use to her because he’s made her a big celebrity and now she wants to move on. It’s hard to tell who’s the real narcissist here. This may be one of those rare relationships with two narcissists using each other for their own gain. Such a relationship cannot last.

16. “Foolish Games” by Jewel
Hauntingly beautiful song by the folk-turned-country singer about being dumped by a narcissistic man who only used her as long as he needed her.

18. “The Chauffeur” by The Deftones
The lyrics are very poetic and somewhat oblique but this seems to be about a relationship with a malignantly narcissistic woman.

19. “Somebody That I Used to Know” by Gotye featuring Kimbra
I never really thought of this as a song about narcissism, but if you listen to the short verse by Kimbra (really the most telling lyric in the song), she is calling her lover out for his narcissistic, manipulative behavior, while Gotye appears to be experiencing a narcissistic crisis/loss of narcissistic supply and blaming his lover for leaving him.

And to close this post…

20. “My Way” by Frank Sinatra
Classic song by the blue eyed crooner paints a picture of a narcissist from his own point of view.

Because so many relationships are unequal, predatory, and abusive, and songs about relationships are so common in popular music, narcissism comes up in them often. I have posted songs about narcissism before, but I wanted to put them all in one post. I will be posting 20 songs, 10 in each post.

These songs are not ranked (because ranking them is impossible and isn’t my focus here anyway), so the songs are posted in totally random order.

Almost every genre of popular music is represented here. I have tried to include lyric videos whenever possible, so you can read the words.

1. “Narcissist” by The420Four:
Indie stoner garage rock that hits the nail on the head (but is nearly unlistenable). It still belongs on the list.

2. “Mean” by Taylor Swift
The pop country princess seems like someone who’s been in more than her fair share of abusive relationships with narcissistic, selfish men. From what I’ve heard, fame has never gone to her head–she’s super nice and falls in love easily, so she probably attracts narcissistic men who want to use her. But in this song, Taylor finally shows a little badass attitude and calls out her latest narcissist for what he really is in her ridiculously catchy 2012 pop-country hit “Mean.”

3. “Narcissus” by Alanis Morissette
Tribute to a narcissistic lover by the popular ’90s singer. This is one of her more current, less well known songs, but it’s still great.

4. “Building a Mystery” by Sarah McLachlan
The video is so well done in this hauntingly beautiful 1997 hit that I didn’t search for a lyric video. If you want to read the lyrics, I posted them here. This has remained one of my favorite songs ever.

5. “Voices Carry” by ‘Til Tuesday
The turquoise on hot pink typeface is a little hard on the eyes, but this was the only lyric video I could find for this enormously popular 1985 electropop hit about a relationship with a narcissist who wanted to keep their relationship a secret.

6. “Father of Mine” by Everclear
Here’s a hit from the early 2000’s from a man’s perspective–this song was written by the lead singer about his abusive and uncaring father (who was most likely a malignant narcissist) and how it’s still having repercussions on his life as an adult.

7. “You’re So Vain” by Carly Simon
This was a huge radio hit in 1972. Simon wrote this song about the narcissistic actor Warren Beatty, who she had had a stormy one-sided relationship with. I couldn’t find a decent lyric video, but you can read the words here.
Speaking of vanity, I thought this video was extremely advanced for 1972 technology, so I looked into it further and found out this was a remix video of the original song made in 2010! Carly still looks terrific!

8. “Liar” by Henry Rollins
This song from the late 1990s absolutely nails the evil mindset of the psychopathic malignant narcissist. This video is incredibly well done and powerful, so I didn’t include a lyric video. You probably won’t need one because Rollins’ enunciation is clear as a bell. The singer/actor/activist is not actually narcissistic in the slightest, but he plays the part here incredibly well

9. “Me Myself and I” by de la soul.
A narcissistic r&b/hip hop anthem for the self absorbed. Hip hop in particular seems to be an especially narcissistic music genre. Some of the N attitude in hip hop may not be genuine but a type of posing for effect, but one still wonders.

10. “Set Fire to the Rain” by Adele
Another beautiful song about an abusive relationship with a dishonest, narcissistic man.

As a music lover, I’ve noticed a lot of popular songs are about narcissism. Here are 4 more I’m adding today.

1. You’re So Vain/Carly Simon
This was a huge radio hit in 1972. Simon wrote this song about Warren Beatty.

You walked into the party
Like you were walking onto a yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf it was apricot
You had one eye in the mirror
As you watched yourself gavotte
And all the girls dreamed that they’d be your partner
They’d be your partner, and

You’re so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You’re so vain
I’ll bet you think this song is about you
Don’t you? Don’t you?

You had me several years ago
When I was still quite naive
Well, you said that we made such a pretty pair
And that you would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved
And one of them was me
I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and

You’re so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You’re so vain
I’ll bet you think this song is about you
Don’t you? Don’t you?

I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and

You’re so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You’re so vain
I’ll bet you think this song is about you
Don’t you? Don’t you?

Well, I hear you went up to Saratoga
And your horse naturally won
Then you flew your Lear jet up to Nova Scotia
To see the total eclipse of the sun
Well, you’re where you should be all the time
And when you’re not, you’re with
Some underworld spy or the wife of a close friend
Wife of a close friend, and

You’re so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You’re so vain
I’ll bet you think this song is about you
Don’t you? Don’t you?

2. Alanis Morrisette/Narcissus
This is the lyric video.

3. Til Tuesday/Voices Carry
This was a huge power pop hit in 1985.

In the dark, I like to read his mind

But I’m frightened of the things I might find
Oh, there must be something he’s thinking of
To tear him away

When I tell him that I’m falling in love
Why does he say

Hush hush keep it down now voices carry
Hush hush keep it down now voices carry
Uh-uh

I try so hard not to get upset
Because I know all the trouble I’ll get
Oh, he tells me tears are something to hide
And something to fear
And I try so hard to keep it inside
So no one can hear

Hush hush keep it down now voices carry
Hush hush keep it down now voices carry
Hush hush keep it down now voices carry
Uh-uh

He wants me
But only part of the time
He wants me
If he can keep me in line

Hush hush keep it down now voices carry
Hush hush keep it down now voices carry
Hush hush shut up now voices carry
Hush hush keep it down now voices carry
Oh hush hush, darling, she might overhear
Hush, hush – voices carry
He said shut up – he said shut up
Oh God can’t you keep it down
Voices carry
Hush hush voices carry
I wish he would let me talk.

Finally, here’s one from a man’s perspective, with a song about his abusive father (who was probably a narcissist) and how it’s still having repercussions on his life as an adult.

4. Everclear: Father of Mine
This is the lyric video.

Two other songs I posted about malignant narcissism can be found here and here.

Please feel free to add your own suggestions! I’ll keep posting songs from time to time, so stay tuned.

Music is one my passions. Even during my deepest depressions, I remained responsive to music, even though I shut myself off to just about everything else. This is one of those times art ties right into the dark subject of malignant narcissism.

Today AnUpturnedSoul (another survivor farther along in her journey to wellness than me) posted some songs about narcissism in her blog. In the comments, another poster suggested the 1996 song “Building A Mystery” by Canadian singer Sarah McLachlan. This has always been one of my favorite songs. It’s hauntingly beautiful and I always felt on some level it applied to most of the men I’ve been involved with in my life.

This song used to make me cry and I couldn’t quite pinpoint why I had such a strong emotional reaction. It still haunts me to this day. Building a mystery is exactly what narcissists do.

“Building A Mystery”

you come out at night
that’s when the energy comes
and the dark side’s light
and the vampires roam
you strut your rasta wear
and your suicide poem
and a cross from a faith
that died before Jesus came
you’re building a mystery

you live in a church
where you sleep with voodoo dolls
and you won’t give up the search
for the ghosts in the halls
you wear sandals in the snow
and a smile that won’t wash away
can you look out the window
without your shadow getting in the way
oh you’re so beautiful
with an edge and a charm
but so careful
when I’m in your arms

[chorus]
’cause you’re working
building a mystery
holding on and holding it in
yeah you’re working
building a mystery
and choosing so carefully

you woke up screaming aloud
a prayer from your secret god
you feed off our fears
and hold back your tears

give us a tantrum
and a know it all grin
just when we need one
when the evening’s thin