Ten people could review the blog comments from the past few weeks and come away with at least as many interpretations. The overarching theme, in my view, comes down to two words — limitations and choices.

You can't do at 70 what you did at 50. You have a bucket of energy — or chi or karma — and you have to determine how you will dole it out. If all of your energy is given to work, obviously there will be nothing left to care for the people you love or to care for yourself. Add to that the reality that you never know when your time will run out. Let me explain.

Several months ago, a young college student was taken off of life support after having a ruptured intracranial aneurysm. A blister on a blood vessel within the brain ruptured, and there was no hope for improvement. The beloved pastor who gave the eulogy shared an important message.

He made it quite clear that if you go down the road of asking "why" and trying to apply reason and logic to a tragic event, you soon discover that it's a "dead end." In other words, there's no meaningful purpose to be derived from that exercise. It isn't worth the time or energy.

However, if you focus your energies on how to help yourself and those around you get through the tragedy, you've taken a productive step in the right direction. What other interpretations can we share from the senseless tragedies that threaten to overwhelm us each day?

I liked Anna Marie`s quote from Fred Rogers. I know first hand that listening is often the most helpful thing we can do for one another. By this, I mean TRUE listening. Don`t just wait for the person to finish. Really hear with your heart what that person is wanting you to hear.

Louise

August 14, 2011 10:27 a.m.

Sorrow and grief for the many things we lose in this life- people we love, people who leave us too soon, discovering that something we had imagined (as significant as an important relationship or as relatively insignificant as the newest electronic gadget) is in reality different from what we had hoped for--- all these loses can stir deep emotions. Sometimes in these situations I find myself asking “why?” “Why?” for me can be a cue to explore and listen to these emotions-perhaps with the help of a trusted friend or someone trained in counseling and the understanding of feelings. Elizabeth Kubler Ross in her work “On Death and Dying” outlined 5 phases of grief: Denial, Bargaining, Anger, Sadness and Acceptance. This is familiar information for many. Early in my study of grief I imagined that the progression through the phases of grieving was linear, first denial, then bargaining and so forth. I thought once I got to acceptance my grieving would be completed. My actual experience however has not been like this at all. I usually flow back and forth from one phase to another, sometimes sad, sometimes accepting, only to find myself later angry or in denial or bargaining again-each emotion like a key on the piano, moving up and down the scale. One last thought from Fred Rogers, “In times of stress, the best thing we can do for each other is to listen with our ears and our hearts and to be assured that our questions are just as important as our answers.”

anna marie

August 9, 2011 4:30 p.m.

There are many old bromides for every occasion. These seem to fit here: What will be, will be. This, too, shall pass. Was it Shakespeare who said, &quot; 'Tis best to fight and run away, and live to fight another day.&quot;?

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