People insisted on talking about the turnover we’ve had in IT, to which all I could say was “yep” because it was HR and they can fire me. On second thought, maybe I should’ve said more.

Then we had to talk about everyone’s kids. The stories are never as cute as they think. One even mentioned how her and her husband need to stop making that’s what she said jokes at home before their son is old enough to repeat it. Clearly they’re the children.

Also, Nancy is still confused about what happened. I’m amazed this woman finds her way to work every day.

With the threat of severe thunderstorms and tornadoes today, I thought I’d do a throwback to the last time there were tornadoes in the area. Cue sheer panic. The sky is green. The tornadoes are coming. No one knows what to do.

So we pull the shades down on the windows. Because that’s going to stop the tornado.

Then we all mustered (which should never have been made into a verb, by the way) in the hallway by the bathrooms. Because the staircase was just too obvious.

Here everyone feels the need to share any story from their past that’s loosely related to a tornado. Because, let’s be honest, the only thing we all have in common is that we’re being forced to stand in a hallway because of a tornado.

And then there’s the one person who takes it too far and relates this event to the anxiety they felt on 9/11. Not the same thing.

Here’s to hoping we don’t have a repeat of that today. Or that we do. Hard to say which would be better.

It’s now time to meet the newest member of our team, Peter. I had high hopes for Peter. Until just now.

Peter came over to tell Carlton about a commotion on another floor. He kept referring to an admin, but no one could figure out who he was talking about. Turns out he was talking about the director of an entire department, who happens to be a woman.

This just in: it’s not 1940 and not all women are admins.

Better luck next time, Peter. Hope you’re better with computers than you are people.

P.S. – For anyone wondering out there, women make up more than half of our IT department. Wonder if Peter has figured out we’re not all admins yet.

Email is one of those work things that really fascinates me. Someone in our team once got an email that just said “Internet”. That was all. Nothing else. Then you have the people that are rude or just way too informal for official office communication. And there’s the whole BCC conundrum or the awkward copying of someone’s boss when they won’t do what you want. And then there’s the email I just received.

Before we get to the update on the printer, let me introduce you to our new characters from yesterday.

Carlton is my boss and has been here basically since the place opened. The secret that’s not a secret is that he doesn’t know what he’s doing and tries to use big words to cover it up. Most recent example- I was copied on an email yesterday where he said everyone had access to their perspective folders. Perspective and respective are the same thing, right? His desk is also where every project goes to die. You’ll never see it again, and no one else seems concerned.

Ryan started recently with Nancy, but actually seems to know what he’s doing. That means he won’t last. He’s caught on that Carlton doesn’t know what he’s doing and wants to fix it. I give him 2 months.

But back to the printer. Carlton couldn’t tell Ryan anything about anything, so Ryan created a new account, got it working, and moved on. The old account will now sit out there for eternity where no one can touch it. Along with everything else that’s been abandoned, so that’s good. Good start to the morning.

I was going to give an introduction to each member of the team, but, on second thought, I think it’s best you meet them as they come up.

So instead I’ll introduce you to only one, who is bound to come up the most often. We’ll call her Nancy.

Nancy started a couple weeks ago. On her first day, she asked where ctrl+alt+del was to login to her computer. She also asked how to Google something. My grandma could’ve answered both of those questions.