EDITORIAL: Redemption, love, forgiveness carry the true power

The judge in Cleveland County Superior Court had never seen it – in 26 years on the bench.

But there they were.

The family of Margaret Tessneer – gone some 10 years now, the victim of a horrible rape and murder – and the family of Donald Eugene Borders, the man convicted of that crime.

Hugging.

In a world so hell-bent on justice, it’s always the redemption, the love, the forgiveness that carries the true power.

It reminds of the story of the shooting at an Amish school back in 2006. Five children were killed by a gunman who then took his own life.

When faced with such tragedy, the Amish responded in a most un-American way. Rather than scream for justice and revenge, they prayed.

Not just passively, or as a part of some sort of lip service.

Consider understanding, rather than confrontation

They went to the family – of the shooter – and prayed.

One Amish man reportedly held the father of the shooter in his arms as the man sobbed.

We also think of a recent first-person account we read by Shane Windmeyer, who is an active leader in the gay and lesbian community.

Windmeyer had led some of the efforts to boycott Chick-Fil-A, for some of its practices he viewed as anti-gay.

But then an amazing thing happened – Chick-Fil-A CEO Dan Cathy reached out to Windmeyer. They met and spent considerable time talking – not from a confrontational position, but one of understanding.

They listened.

And, in the end, they became friends.

While Cathy did not alter his core view that marriage is between a man and a woman, he did make significant adjustments to Chick-fil-A’s charitable donations – steering them away from organizations viewed as “anti-gay.”

For his part, Windmeyer ended his group’s boycott of the restaurant.

The common thread here is that these people decided not to put a premium on hardness of heart. They decided not to be driven by revenge, or hate or judgment. And they did this without abandoning principles. The Tessneer family still grieves the loss of their dear Margaret and, presumably, they still want to see Borders serve every day of his life sentence.

But why let that hate carry over to the man’s family. The Borders family could have demonized the Tessneers, for wanting to hold Donald Eugene accountable for their actions. But instead, they embraced love and compassion.

How many times do we all face that fork in the road?

Do we castigate the overworked waitress or do we cut her some slack?

Do we pounce on our children for a mistake? Co-workers or subordinates?