Tuesday, January 17, 2006

What does it take to become the "hang out" house - the place where teens choose to gather and spend their free time? I want to know, out of selfish interest.

As son number one grows older and taller each day, I see before my eyes his transition to independence, to a phase where his time with his friends is becoming ever more important. I'm lucky - he is a wonderful young man, devoted to his brother and willing to spend time with Mom and Dad.

But I want to be prepared to entice him, and his buddies, to know that our home is always open to them and that we want them here. Even more than my selfish interest to know that he's safe and secure, I enjoy my son and his friends.

Last night, the gang was over for another band practice. The school talent show at the end of this month is quickly approaching and they need to tweak their "act". They've been practicing in the garage for the past few weeks, but our concern for our neighbors' ears prompted us to move them inside last night.

My hulking, and all too infrequently used, dining room furniture was moved up against the wall. The room became home to three guitars, a keyboard, a drum set, a sax and a rambunctious lead singer. The walls reverberated with the classic rock song they'll be performing. Max the Hamster and Matlock the cat ran for cover, as did their owner, Son Number Two.

But me? I was happy to hear that noise, happy to feed them burgers and hot dogs my husband Greg grilled up, and to watch them devour a big package of store-bought cookies before dinner had been served. Having them here is a pleasure - they smile, offer polite thanks, and engage in civil conversations. They may play loudly, but I've known most of them since kindergarten and am thrilled to watch them develop into young men.

Becoming the "hang out" house is going to take some effort on our part - negotiations are currently under way to transform my dining room into a "music room" (with guitarist dad leading the planning) and I'm going to need to keep a stock of frozen pizzas and soft drinks on hand at all times. But that's a small price to pay for the reward of watching my son become a young man before my very eyes.

The old -- and let me stress OLD -- house we live in had one of those rooms for eating in...what were they called? Oh, yes: "Dining Rooms." Of course, if we had known this, maybe...nah. It's our study/music room. Works great. I highly recommend it. ;)

You will not regret giving of yourself and your home to share with your son and his friends. Many youth are adrift on a sea of confusion. You have a golden opportunity to be an anchor in their lives with an unseen ripple effect. May you and all of us do this well.God bless you and those you love!

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Lisa and her husband Greg, an Emergency Physician, reside in Fresno, California with their two sons, Eric and Adam. Lisa and Greg met and married at the University of Notre Dame and share a passion for Irish football. Following her undergraduate work at Notre Dame, Lisa earned a Master’s Degree in Human Resource Development from Vanderbilt University. She worked for several years in the field of Human Resources for non-profit entities including Kaiser Permanente and Vanderbilt University, specializing in recruitment and corporate training prior to “retiring” to care for her children in the home.

Today, Lisa heads a home based web design business, designing and maintaining sites for several clients. In addition to her work with CatholicMom.com, she is also employed by St. Anthony of Padua parish as webmaster for the parish and school web sites. She has done pro bono web design for Samaritan Women, a prison ministry agency and is involved in numerous community service initiatives. The Hendey family members are active parishioners at St. Anthony of Padua Parish, where Lisa serves an Extraordinary Minister of the Eucharist.

As a freelance writer, Lisa is a regular contributor to Catholic Exchange, Catholic Online, and Catholic.net and countless other Internet publishers. Additionally, Lisa has written the “Tech for You” column at the Catholic Women’s Channel. Her articles have appeared in the National Catholic Register, Our Sunday Visitor, Canticle Magazine, Grapevine Magazine and Kids’ Ark Magazine.

Lisa’s most recent projects include Productivity @ Home, a blog site that examines the topic of personal productivity in the home and family environment, and the Catholic Moments Podcast, a weekly interview format program that was recently selected to be an affiliate of the highly acclaimed Star Quest Production Network (SQPN), the home of the “Best in Catholic Podcasting”. In addition, Lisa is currently filming “CatholicMom.com – Your Gateway to Faith and Family Resources on the Web”, a television program produced by KNXT-TV and the Diocese of Fresno. The show features short video segments to be aired multiple times each week that will explore faith and family resources on the Internet. Lisa can also be found blogging each week as part of the team of writers at Faith and Family Live (http://www.faithandfamilylive.com), the new and very popular web site of Faith and Family Magazine.

Lisa M. Hendey is available to speak to your group on Catholic faith, family, new media, personal productivity and healthy living topics. Lisa is domiciled in the Diocese of Fresno and has received authorization and permission from Bishop John T. Steinbock to speak both within and outside of the Diocese of Fresno.