I’m ready to cede my teapot to our monkey overlords

I can’t tell if this is a joke or not, but if it isn’t … well, you better believe I’ll be paying an outrageous $24.99 to taste 100% monkey-picked tea. That’s right: tea. Picked by monkeys.

Think Geek notes:

The legendary flavor is something that can only be tasted to be believed. Monkey Picked Tea is truly in a class by itself. Full of antioxidants, this tea will calm your soul, temper your spirit, and put you in divine touch with your monkey ancestors.

This one time, when I went up in the Himalayas and stayed in a town that boasts the world’s highest cricket grounds, we were packing up the car to leave our hotel and left the car’s hatch open. My partner was in the lobby, settling the bills, and I carted our pillows outside — when I realized that there were three huge monkeys galloping full speed to our measly little car. One was already sitting in the drivers seat, looking about five seconds away from buckling himself in and careering off down the winding mountain roads. No head for self-preservation, I ran shrieking toward the monkeys, which then set off a chain reaction of hotel employees gasping and sputtering in Hindi about how dangerous the primates were. At that point, the whole thing became a blur, but somehow, someone (possibly with the aid of a large stick and/or delicious foodstuffs) extricated the monkey from our vehicle. I still don’t entirely trust them, but who knows? Perhaps they have a discerning palate for a good first flush.