Welcome Glorious Chinese Overlords

My fortune cookie says it is time to abandon our obese American masters for newer, fitter and more golden Chinese future.

Thanks to the contributions of the many, patient, relentless and occasionally indecipherable Chinese bloggers who have made their temporary home here at the Limpy blog, I have seen the light. Well, that and the big heavily armed assault vehicle BOCOG's just parked outside the media centre.

I think we may have backed a loser, my friends, throwing in our lot with the world's most most obese nation and dumbest President - Georgian poobah Saakashvili notwithstanding.

I mean, look at the medal tally. These games have hardly begun and China have already served up a steaming bowl of pain noodles with a side order of humiliation wontons to the US of A, and there’d have been even more if Michael Phelps hadn’t personally intervened to double America’s sad little golden nugget haul as of last night.

So bugger all this banging on about personal liberty this and freedomy goodness that. I want Aussie Gold!(tm) stacked so high that you need to climb a pile of Aussie Silver! and Aussie Bronze!* just to set up base camp for the trek to the shimmering summit. And those fat fingered, lard butted, loud mouthed imperialist running dog Yankee know-nothings are not setting a shining example for our gallant little vegemiters to follow any more.

They're losing, and you know what we do with losers around here. Just as we abandoned perfidious Albion when England’s imperial mojo ran out, I say lets get in early and sever all ties to the fading hegemonic power of the US right now, before the closing ceremony. We could totally be the next Chinese province and on the evidence of the medal count so far, that means we’d be buried in gold baby! Buried in it!

So thanks, Uncle Sam. But no thanks. Your time has passed, old man.

And I for one would like to welcome our new Chinese overlords.

Unless, you know, they choke or something, in which case, it's back to the luvin' arms of Dubya.

______

* No special Olympic italics for you Bronze. Try harder next time.

Post a comment

Comments Terms & Conditions

When posting comments on our blogs, you agree to be bound by our terms and conditions.
Comments that are offensive, defamatory, unsuitable or that breach any aspects of the terms and conditions will be deleted.

Recent comments

JY

August 25, 2008

10:14 AM

To Trish
There are two facts regading exporting to China:
First, if Australia don't export, plenty will line up to take the money from China, countries from Africa and South America diligently negotating with Chinese companies.
Second, Australia has to export raw materials because we can't manufacture efficiently. In 2000, BHP closed the factory in Wollongong, I asked them why, they told me it took 20 workers to produce the same amount of steel while Japanese use 3, and with a better quality. For those old enough to remeber the 1980's, we used to manufacture a lot of things in Australia, like TVs and washing machines, but we can't compete with our Asian neighbours.
In terms of trade, there is no love or hate, profit is always the first. You know Australia exports raw materials to China, but do you know Australia also export other things, like financial services, super annuation management service to China, these are more high end products and more profitable. It will only make Australia great if we can provide more products like these to China, to the rest of the world.

Ruba

August 24, 2008

10:06 PM

I have no time, space or inclination to debate politics and Sudan with the likes of Sian, any more than I would a garden gnome. What I will say that anyone who believes China is perfect is a moron, and anyone who believes that China gets a fair go in the western media is equally a moron, regardless of tall poppy syndrome etc. Educated Chinese refer to you as 'the West' because you demonstrate a remarkable uniformity in your anti-China bias despite your supposedly free media. "Oh, Lord have mercy, its a face-double!" Nitpicking twits.

Of the two the Chinese government's faults are the more harmful, yet Western ignorance and bigotry is the more shameful given the social infrastructure and circumstances in most developed nations. If you cannot even find a commentator for the closing ceremony that doesn't blather on about the 'coming out' of the 'Chinese race' I pity you fools, not to mention fearing for future world relations. 'Multiculturalism' has happened before and we Chinese are neither a 'race' or a new species.

I would also strongly encourage anyone with half an open mind to actually talk to someone from Beijing, and see how oppressed they truly are, before crying crocodile tears for them and spewing venom at the 'overlords'.

Good article btw. And for whoever was wondering, a chicken is a whore and a duck a gigolo in Cantonese slang.

The Marquis of Yackandandah

August 22, 2008

05:55 PM

Apparently George has picked up on the possible defection of Australia to join those commies to the North. Someone has explained to GWB what minerals are and that Australia has many. Iran is off the military agenda and Australia is now in the cross-hairs.

George's only concern is that making Australia the 51st state may make Texas look a bit small and flacid but that aside I can see claims of Al Quaeda camps in Northern Territory and Vegemite identified as a WMD.
Apparently the Vietnamese community is a big concern so the first strike will involve carpet bombing of the suburbs before anyone can start digging tunnels. The Poms have been asked to support and are seeking a UN resolution about breach of sovereignty based on Paul Keating touching HRH's bottom during that state visit in the 90's.
you heard it here first

Stuart

August 20, 2008

08:07 PM

I am sure that i am upholding some sort of tradition by being too lazy to check... but did noone else note the blatant plagiarism of Kent Brockman? Lazy lazy journalism!

---

JB: Uhm, if it is that blatant do you think you were meant to 'get it'?

2 cents

August 20, 2008

03:36 PM

Trish,

I don't think Australia is being attacked. I think what you see is people trying to defend China in these post from being unfairly criticised and nitpicked.

Your logic of Australian exporting to China as a prove of loving China makes no sense. The trade is to mutual advantage. If the Chinese do not buy our resources, we'll be stuffed too.

As I see it, we need to mutually respect each other. Start by stopping those "fake" postings and nitpicking.

Australian Chinese

August 20, 2008

03:14 PM

Although I can't speak for every Chinese or Australian, let me say that I do not believe Chinese wants to be the overload of anyone. They are peace loving people, who are eager to open their heart to the outside world as long as you earn their trust. Just don't jump into the Tibet independence bandwagon make them feel that you're trying to split up their country. Just don't push them to adopt full democracy the way you think it should. I believe one day they will be democratic, but it can't be done in a destructive way as we've seen in Russian. The corruption is bad and not excuseable, and the Central Government does react to this in every now and then, although it is very difficult to completely stamp it out. Yes, they may be paranoic about complete free speech because of the potential of civil war which is not to the interest of the Chinese people of the world. Don't belittle them with a tone that implies you're more superior than they are. If you treat them as equal, you'll be amazed at how quickly they will accept you in return.

Max

August 20, 2008

12:00 AM

43 up to now! You can not ignore the fact and Chinese will become better in the future!

Trish

August 19, 2008

10:11 PM

I find it funny how Chinese here are accusing Australians of hating them when Australia supplies China with so much coal, iron and gas!

Stop attacking Aussies, Chinese. It is against the Chinese national interest, because your government and our government want a Free Trade Agreement!

From the Chinese People's Daily Online:http://english.peopledaily.com.cn/200505/10/eng20050510_184306.html
Figures released by Australian Bureau of Statistics yesterday show China imported 8.8 billion Australia Dollars (AUD) from Australia over the 9 months by March this fiscal year. China is Australia's second largest export market.

SAVAGE

August 19, 2008

09:17 AM

JIG

Australia 5, NZ 0, Is there a Tasman trophy for the olympics?

Yep, its called the Bledisloe Cup!

toomuchsportisnotenough

August 18, 2008

06:23 PM

I agree about marbles btw. Marbles was the first game played by humans and is , apart from football (which came from marbles in the first place) the only truly international sport.I reckon 2020.The possibility is that a child could win an Olympic Gold. If the Olympics is about tadition eg discus et al, then lets play the worlds oldest game. Marbles go back 5000 years in Chinese hostory and were found in the pyramids from 3000 years ago.

Stu

August 18, 2008

03:14 PM

OMG the comments on this blog are hilarious. Where have you been all my life?

Papanikle

August 18, 2008

01:21 PM

I have a dream that one day my children will be able to compete in the Ol;ympic ganmes in the one favourite sport/game they enjoy the most in life. No i'm not talking about football, swimming, water polo or any of the other major events currently being played. I'm talking about 'Mar balls'. The game we grew up playing in the dirt playgounds during our child hood.

Imagine being able to use your tumbola to bring down another Nations team or win that rare shiny Mar ball.

Vote 1: Mar balls in the 2012 Olympic games. If syncronised swimming and sailing can make it why niot Mar balls.

How low can we sink? As soon as someone comes up with an alternative view, he/she is accused of being CCP blog police, is this how our brand of freedom of speech works? I get the feeling that we are just as brain washed by our media as you are accusing CCP of brain washing their people.

SMH show me sport but not politics pls

August 17, 2008

09:53 PM

When I check on the result on SMH a few minutes ago, surprising I find China has already got 33 gold medals at 11:35 pm. What a great achievement today. When I chick again on Olympic section of SMH to check where are these Golds from, I can't find a single word of it (other than the tally records). Come on SMH - give me the details of the result but not your view of politics with bia.

clan ozjob

August 17, 2008

01:58 PM

I'm an aussie and I've lived in China for six years. Chinese people in general are friendly and hardworking but, like any country, they have their bad eggs. Unfortunately the news here is drivel. I regularly read five different online newspapers from different countries and the local news here has almost nothing of serious events in China (that may see China in a negative light). CCCP - huogai. Did you think you could bully and restrict a huge foreign media and they are going to roll over and ask for more. NO. They're going to take you to the cleaners. Welcome to free media. It can make or break elections so an Olympics is nothing for their collective ass busting wills. Again I think separating govt. from the people is an important step when trying to understand a countries flaws. Australians slam our own govt. so don't take it personally. We have a huge group of trained professionals working around the clock for this (the opposition party). One other thing is I notice alot of the bloggers here conveniently lump more than 20 different countries into the term "the west". This reflects the perspective of many Chinese people here. You are either (waiguoren) foreigner or you are Chinese (zhongguoren). Guys, these countries all have different govt.s opinions, culture etc. And as far as racism, China is no ethic happy land. Black english teachers regularly get paid less than white teachers. Anti Japanese movies, stories, articles are pumped out daily. The way the minorities get treated here makes indigineous Australians look like 50 cents. Argument, criticism and nitpicking are ways of getting informed. So go ahead and bag Australia, but do it in an informed way and revel in the fact that you publically can.

OverseasHunk

August 17, 2008

01:50 PM

Let us celebrate what Olympics is about.

Over the last week, I've seen:

1. Chinese making strides in althelics and swimming

2. Europeans makind strides in ping pong

3. Top ranking teams who have coaches from their opposing team's countries

4. Players breaking world records while others did not finish/qualify wept

Do you know what Olympics is about? It brings countries together and bridges countries. Without it the world would be an isolated place with all countries suspecting the next.

So I don't really care about what hatred you have based on biased media in the West/East. I don't give a sh*t, I just enjoy Olympics.

JAL

August 17, 2008

01:31 PM

Chang Lui, well done mate. nice to know there are someone unpaid Chinese opinions coming out here. But be careful mate (and I hope you are not using your real name). The reach of your more fanatic countrymen is long, even in Aussie.

I have lived in China for 14 years (being white, will NEVER qualify for a passport of course, even though I'm married to a local girl and had a kid here). Aussies: FYI, Chang Rui is by far the typical Chinese in the street. Intelligent, thinks for himself, is not at all convinced by the Propaganda bureau, and realizes that in an open society there will be some criticisms as well as compliments and respect, and so takes it with a grain of salt, like the rest of us. So remember this in your blogs and don't mistake the real Chinese for these racist propaganda fanatics that appear in these some of these blogs. The Chinese are generally a good people, and you'd be surprised. In many ways, they are more "Aussie" (in humor, healthy cynicism, desire for real justice and good open-minded hearts) than you think. Even the ones in the provinces who never met a foreigner before, who you'd think would be ignorant party people. (And they now have started to play both cricket and Aussie rules...its going off here!). There is hope, and all will be good.

Another Chinese Agency

August 17, 2008

10:16 AM

when i read his father = duck, mum = hen, i think it is too far, but when i gone to other blog read his confusing logic of "5000 years of history behide them rubbish" i know why people call him rubbish. so, chinese-australian, it is not necassary to explain to this rubbish whose just want to insult but not discuss. to brisso, yr statement is true 10 years ago. today, most of the chinese kids want to grow up to be rich merchants after the anti corruption launched. they want to buy rio tinto, bp so that they can be your sons' boss. to glen, wang wei think that olympic is running smooth because china already have 27 gold and he is so comfortable. aussie only has 7 and so we are so uncomfortable. look at our kids performance at school, the chinese kids top up in all subj, from maths, english to music. sport should be the only subj we proud of, but now ??? certainly we are not comfortable. you have a long way to go mate. by the way, just think that i am another chinese nationalist brian wash by ccp (even i never live there before, and keep on protesting since 1982).

biologicalUnit

August 17, 2008

07:44 AM

Hi. I'm an American.

If you try to leave us, we will invade.

Chinese-Australian

August 16, 2008

07:42 PM

Critising my government, I do quite a lot. Both the Australian (considering it is my 'official' nationality on my aussie blue passport) and Chinese. OH I don't think China's perfect at all puh-lease which country is?

All chinese criticise their government, and oh please put the eye ball back in the sockets, it happens and the internet forums (in chinese) and blogs are FULL of them. The west just doesn't know, well they might know, but might just interpret it as 'patriotic' whilst it is smashing the governments policies into bits. It is actually rather rare to have seen such UNITY of the majority of Chinese when everyone just hated China about the Tibet thing, as everyone just complained and moaned about how 'shit' it is to be chinese at times, but yeh somehow we managed to stand tall (somehow in our 10 inches heels) and unite and believe not all CNN's bull is correct. Might as well read West's criticism and the China's own criticism and their 'patriotic' places to get a better meaning, which, for some chinese readers who are also graduates of some top schools in australia (with top ranks in english) is a blessing as we get all the views and all the shit and we know roughly the truth and what is going on without being 'brainwashed' by the communist party who's president loves the internet chat rooms to talk to his people about their dislikes. If kevin rudd did that, i might continue my vote for him.
If only the cultural revolution never happened... all this shit won't have happened... and if the liberal didn't fk up the economy.. we won't be in recession

Brisso

August 16, 2008

06:41 PM

Tributes are very welcome in Beijing, just park it at Chez Rogge and he'll deliver it in a rickshaw.

Sian, don't waste your breath trying to separate the people and the State. Every kid wants to grow up to be an official in China, so vigorous is the daily propaganda.

Glen

August 16, 2008

05:01 PM

The best event of the Chinese Olympics -- the daily turkey shoot of BOCOG's Wang Wei by the world's media -- has been cancelled.

The SMH reports: "Beijing spokesman Sun Weide said there would be no press conference on Saturday because the Olympics were running very smoothly."

Very disappointing for us hoping for a further gold medal performance, such as Wei's winning performance at media conference following the arrest of pro-Tibet demonstrators who abseiled the CCTV tower to hoist a huge "Free Tibet" banner.

David - The Chinese agent

August 16, 2008

03:37 PM

JB, as our mandrin-speaking premier minister stood out of 80 or more head of States kow-towing in Beijing, chance for our country annexed as 51 Chinese states is fairly strong.
Then since winning of swimming gold metal is drying up, we are now falling far behind the Phelps charging, Bush family cheering US team.
The best way to show Chinese overlords our talent is sending our cricket and Aussie rules with excellence as Warney, or Pie’s Didak and Shaw. They will do us great proud in front of Chinese masters.
Enough rubbish, right? Especially from someone like Sian.
So how about "towing the party line" and do some serious sports report, it might help to rebuild our national proud.

JIG

August 16, 2008

02:06 PM

It is always unsettling to see that a little tongue in cheek satire becomes the focal point of divisive racial vilification. It is not as if we are talking about a piece such as Animal Farm or Gulliver’s Travels (sorry John different league). As an Australian it is safe to say that:

1. We apologise for Fosters . (We tried to get rid of the entire stockpile in 2000 but invited far too many “in the know” locals to our rendition of the Olympics - hence we export);

2. The insult “your mother is a hen and your father is a duck” may have lost something in the translation;

3. We like reading “other” newspapers and watching “other” TV. The Sun newsapaper and Top Gear are great…. especially page 3; and

4. The login Chinese-Australia may well relate only to certain parts of each capital city rather than a cultural identification nom de plume.

I almost forgot; as Australians it is our cultural calling (no matter race creed or colour) to pull the piss out of anyone doing better than ourselves until such point that we become said person.

So please do not take offence at a little sledging (name calling in Australianese) sit back relax and reflect on the fact that the Olympics is a time of peace (stand fast Russia and Georgia) and a coming together of the peoples of the world. Surely it cannot be interpreted as a competition between nations.

Hey John, do you know why Asians can always tell you something true? Because they are willingly to spend time in reading Asian newspaper and know that many things that the foreign newspaper have written are wrong. Aussies only read local paper, they dont even bother to distinguish whether the things in the newspaper is correct or not. They dont like China, hence they feel excited and glad that whenever the newspaper have written something bad about China. They then "proudly" present their "anti- China" or "fake China" comments in your and your college' blogs. You know, it becomes really amusing when they or even your colleagues are presenting some wrong and misleading information. Superficial. And I want to say, especially for you and your colleagues, as a professional blogger and media, dont write some anti-China theory before you have actually try your own effort to do some research. It's not enough for you or your colleagues just to read the things in the newspaper and spit out something which we can already read from the newspaper. If you guys are doing this, why should we bother to read the blogs from your guys? Why will you guys get paid but we dont?

sian

August 16, 2008

11:51 AM

So now I'm supposed to have said that Communism was invented in Russia...? if someone could go back and find the exact quote, I'd be most grateful. Now I know how the phrase "Chinese whispers" originated.

Just one further point: Austalia's record on human rights, indigenous affairs etc etc is completely irrelevant to most of the discussion on this blog. Sure, Australia doesn't have clean hands. But like many Australians I'm perfectly happy to admit it, and to protest against the Australian government when the occasion demands. I certainly don't take it personally when someone brings up the more shameful aspects of Australian history or society.

What you outraged morons fail to understand is that criticising the Chinese government is not the same thing as criticising Chinese people or Chinese culture. If you had real freedom in your country, and were able to indulge in a little government-bashing of your own, you'd understand this. But no: you all identify 100% with your totalitarian state like good little robots.

I know that China's record on human rights is improving, and that China has come an incredibly long way since the Cultural Revolution. It's something of a miracle. But as long as there's...

** a government willing to do business with a regime of war criminals in Sudan

...you'll just have to swallow a little flak from the international community - and not just "the West" either: plenty of Asian people are prepared to speak the truth about China. Just remember: it's not YOU being criticised, it's your GOVERNMENT.

Deepak Natarajan

August 16, 2008

11:17 AM

Now I know why they say appearances can be deceptive.I would never have believed that with a mug shot resembling an Anatomy Professor ....John Birmingham would churn out this uproarios,gut busting, thigh slapping, albeit chillingly close to reality piece.Simply outstanding.Easily the best on the Beijing Games.The guffaws can leave you a paraplegic.Give us some more and quick.

Deepak Natarajan

August 16, 2008

11:14 AM

Now I know why they say appearances can be deceptive.I would never have believed that with a mug shot resembling an Anatomy Professor ....John Abraham would churn out this uproarios,gut busting, thigh slapping, albeit chillingly close to reality piece.Simply outstanding.Easily the best on the Beijing Games.The guffaws can leave you a paraplegic.Give us some more.

sian

August 16, 2008

09:43 AM

Keep those hilarious put-downs coming, folks.

Rubbish... from the bin!

Ducks and hens!

Ouch, my sides

Chinese-Aussie

August 16, 2008

09:08 AM

Chinese-Australia, yes, China should apologise, for all good and bad they done. If they don't apologize, we'll pick and amplify some more issues by our media incl CNN BBC SMH, and many excel IQ pig-ignorant people (see sian's comment). Proud to be an Aussie ? Kevin Rudd commented on the poor Chinese human records (not Chinese poor human records), can China critize us when our great govenment exploited the most basic human right of Dr.Haneef ? See, we are so powerful because we are the west, and you Chinese dogs should shut up and apologize all the time (for the fake opening ceremonry and also the closing -unless its director and actors are all western, because from western eyes, you are all silly, nasty and fake). You have no right to speak human right. Human right is not your product, it is Aussie made, Oh no, it is western made (wherever it made doesn't matter - because our people like sian really don't care, just like his comment that communist is Russian made) and we have copyright of it. If you Chinese teach us or your people what human right is, our Govt will sue, no to shooooot you (through our media and excel IQ pig ignorant sian). To the western world, you are all stupid with lower IQ, even from the results in local Aussie schools to that of the Olympic indicates an opposite way.

Jim Bob

August 16, 2008

02:52 AM

Not so fast, Aussies. Before you change hegemons you need to send some people over here to the States to pick up all those Foster's cans along the roads. Fortunately, an armed and alert citizenry got that potential koala bear infestation under control before it could get out of hand.

And do you really think there's any satisfaction in drinking CHINESE people under the table?

Chinese-Australia

August 15, 2008

08:51 PM

Not Again.
I think ZYM should just apologise to everyone, especially mentioning that the ancient dancers were not time transported to 2008 from the Song or Tang Dynasty. And he deeply regrets allowing people to believe that they were really the ancient people but used actors instead. He is very very sorry. He is also deeply apologetic for not endangering the life of the pilot if they had to film the fireworks LIVE.

China's emperor (long dead) is sorry he invaded Tibet and gave out the title Dalai Lama, because then his decendents didn't have to spend money to develop that piece of junk to a city with malls and hospital just to be hurled with 'free tibet, abuse of human rights'. Your most royal highness, huang shang wan sui wan sui wan wan sui, please apologise from heaven. (only chinese will get the wan and sui part...)

Please, my ancestors, also apologise for inventing paper because it is now destroying trees and causing global warming, and also the printing tablets as we are now front page of the new olympic sport with headlines 'China Bashing, West wins GOLD'.

Please apologise for inventing gunpowder, it is used by America to kill the innocent in Iraq for no reason. But, one thing you should have left behind is a book to teach all countries (especially the west) on how to control ethnic minority groups in HARMONEY so none of the original inhabitants (and other non whites) of america and australia have to suffer the 'slings and arrows of outrageous PREJUDICE' even in the 21st century.

Sit back and lets enjoy the games. Go beijing 08! Btw, dun australians know how much cheers aus get from the chinese, i love it when they chant 'jia you australia jia you!'

Chinese-Aussie

August 15, 2008

07:10 PM

I found the most pig-ignorant sian whose dad is a duck and mum is a hen writing in the blog. he can't even figure out where the communist from but try to comment other's ignorance. what a joke. back to your bin, rubbish.

R

August 15, 2008

05:07 PM

Well the sports writers are not paid to write nice (boring) things. They got to "spice" things up abit, through any methods.

Re: the opening.. it's a performance/show, so what if the kid lip synced, or not all ethnics kids are actually ethnic, get over yourself and enjoy the show.

DR

August 15, 2008

03:34 PM

Well JB, it's good to see that you've embraced the approach that most of your blog responses seem to follow - a pretext of sport for a discussion of politics!

The actors are not real ancient people either. Don't need to be serious for this issue, it's just a performance. Enjoy it.

OverseasHunk

August 15, 2008

02:45 PM

Don't take it personally guys. I think we really have to distinguish the Chinese government from the Chinese people.

I think it is good to have second (esp. outside) opinion on China because inside China, everyone has to pretend to have one opinion, that is the government's.

Olympics has shown this clearly. Zhang Yi Mou did great presenting 5000 years of history in the opening and wowed us all. But it was the f*cking government official who swapped the girl.

And if you question my credential to speak out, my ancestors got out of China 4 decades ago so no way I'm doing the stupid thing going back to live.

Chinaman

August 15, 2008

02:13 PM

Crikey, sian! We wouldn't be calling Australia home if we didn't beat you at your own game.

I swear to her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, Steve Irwin is my hero cos' his eyes are more slanted than mine!

schysms

August 15, 2008

12:37 PM

All this hype about the things China faked.Australia has for years presented itself to the world as destination ethnic harmony,when in fact it is probably the last bastion of anglo colonialism with anglos passing themselves off as australians

---

JB: Jeez. Touchy much?

sian

August 15, 2008

11:49 AM

Crikey. I thought the Australians had the gold medal for taking offense, saluting the flag, not being able to read, and general thickness. But some of you Chinese posters make me wonder if we're about to be beaten at our own game. I haven't read such a load of shouty, pig-ignorant, patriotic drivel since Steve Irwin pegged it.

lemonctp

August 15, 2008

11:40 AM

to chang lui

are u brain washed by the dalai lama?

Chinaman

August 15, 2008

11:10 AM

To Asian thinker (August 14, 2008 07:36 PM)

Your opinion is so biased. What you are saying is not much different to saying that all whites are racist. That is dangerous over-generalization and stereotyping. I wonder what kind of "Chinese" you lived with before, I bet that you have never lived in China for more than 1 year. If you are talking about some "Chinese" businessmen born and bred in Malaysia or Phillipines (one of the southeast Asian countries), I've met a couple of those "Chinese" businessmen myself, and I have similar feelings to yours towards some of these "Chinese" businessmen. Don't let a few bad apples cloud your eyes, you ought to be more enlightened than that.

As a chinese born and bred in China, I know what I am talking about when I talk about Chinese, certainly not the kind of Chinese that you are talking about.

Chang Lui

August 15, 2008

10:45 AM

Chairman lemonctp is correct as is Chairman Turtle.

These children of Chinese officials will someday rise within the Chinese Communist Party to become the greats of tomorrow...at least this is what their parents tell them!

Thinking out of the box means taking the words of the Great Chairman and applying them to one's everyday life. If you don't listen to the Chairman then you will end up in a box 6 feet under the ground.

So as a Chinese, I am annoyed. I am annoyed with hearing the children of the privileged talk about how upset they are when they were born with a silver spoon in their mouths. I am tired of the thousands of (paid) Chinese Internet Blog Police who endlessly copy and paste the words that have been supplied by the CCP into blogs such as this.

It is time that the privileged of China learnt what is is really like being Chinese - ordinary, poor, underpaid and lacking opportunities for not being appropriately connected. This is the lot of the majority of us, the true working class of China.

You children are nothing but bourgeois. Someday you will be overthrown, just as Chairman Mao overthrew our past corrupt regimes!

--

JB: Huzzah Chang Lui. Huzzah.

(It means 'good on you, mate').

lemonctp

August 15, 2008

09:42 AM

To EskimoPie:
chinese don't have ability to control western media, on the contrary, your western people go to china to disorder chinese society, you always hang the tibetan flag or yell slogan on the beijing street. If police don't detain those protesters, I think chinese will fight against them. Also, only western country object china to hold olympic games, other countries agree that.

NOJUSTICE

August 15, 2008

09:36 AM

Hey turtle, there is difference between
how the West does thing from the East
and specifically China since that is
main topic discussed here.

The West doesn't mistreat their own
people and therefore no human right
issue. They only do it in other
countries and their people including
civilians, look at Iraq & Afghanistan
as good examples.

No pollution either in Western
countries since they outsource all the
manufacturing to low cost countries
like China for their own benefit, and
now they turn around criticising China
on pollution.

As long as all the acts of evils are
not committed in their own backyard
against their own people, it's considered acceptable and self-claimed
righteous acts to uphold global democracy, security and all craps. As
long as it is done in others' backyard
is has always been considered
justifiable.

Can you smell hypocrisy ? I can.

OverseasHunk

August 15, 2008

08:12 AM

Lets be honest here, swimming and athletics have way to many medals on offer!

The Chinese obviously excelled in all other areas to start off with a 12 gold medal lead.

Stacked with such unfairness, the Chinese are doing extremely well I'd say.

Turtle

August 15, 2008

07:52 AM

As a Chinese, I am annoyed.

The western media constantly lectures China -- human rights this, Tibet that, pollution. The most irritating thing is that the West, who is guilty of their own human rights abuses and environmental destruction, think that it is so much superior to China.

But the fact is China doesn't need the West to tell it what to do. It can hold its own -- China invented the compass, gunpowder, printing press, easily the most complex and culturally rich language system in the world. China doesn't need the West's opinions on democratization. It will develop its own system, one that will match its people better than the one described by the foolish rant of the West.

These games are important because it showcases the beauty of Chinese culture, which I feel is much better than the trash we are seeing in some aspects of American culture today. It is the games for the Chinese people to really communicate that we are actually intelligent people too.

Unfortunately, the West is not listening. They continue to rant about human rights and all the whole shebang. They continue to yap as dogs from smoggy air to lip-syncing at the opening ceremonies. It has reached a ridiculous point. It really confirms the West's inability to think outside the box, and take things into perspective.

That is why, as a Chinese, I am annoyed.

guru

August 15, 2008

07:29 AM

to TR:

can't you see there is a limit of athletes from each country? there are only so many (few) athletes out there. with your logic, everyone on the planet should now compete for their country.

by the way, the logic that applies to the adjusted medal tally based on population is just a pathetic display of ego.

Quincy

August 15, 2008

12:22 AM

"TR
August 14, 200812:52 PM
Can at least one of you (commentators) make some token comment about the number of medals won in relation to the population of a country. Is 10 medals from a country with 100 million people any better than 1 medal from a country with 10 million people ??"

Good point. But the same logic should also apply when talking about carbon emission.

It won't become overt until the smelly 'long nose' white devils are thoroughly and irreversibly subjugated.

Asian thinker

August 14, 2008

07:36 PM

For someone from the region who has lived long with the Chinese, and who hated American imperialism in his youth, I can say that if you made me pick between US imperialism and Chinese imperialism, I would pick US imperialism anytime. The Chinese are becoming the most arrogant people in Asia big time. And they have no sense of democracy or fair play. Once, about fifteen years ago, I wished that China would come up and beat the US so they we could have a Pacific Century. How I regret that wish. Chinese buy up the businesses in other Asian countries and start to control their economies. They look down at the residents and nationals of those countries. Chinese treat their employees like dirt, especially the non-Chinese employees. Under Chinese rule, a story like Barack Obama's would be impossible. Either you're Chinese or you're some low class second or fifth class citizen. Caucasians and others who have not lived with the Chinese long enough might find them cute now. But I wonder how cute you will find them when you've lost all your economic and other power and they have their boots on your throat, haha, you impoverished dupes, they will say, we Chinese were much smarter than you, and there you are, finally where we want you. You may think you like Asian women, well so do I , who doesn't? But once those Chinese really reach the top, they'll want their women marrying Chinese. One more thing, the Chinese are quite dishonest and sneaky, in business, in Olympic opening ceremonies, etc, any trick just to get an advantage. Their god is money. They have no morals once money is involved. Top chinese businessmen form the biggest mafia.

Abe F

August 14, 2008

07:33 PM

I really like what you've done around here JB.

Students of public policy and foreign affairs will study this blog in years to come as some kind of a watershed...

I predict it will be called Ground Zero from when and where the pro-PRC blogonauts wised up and realised THAT TRANSPARENT GOVERNMENT IS YOUR FRIEND and that SO IS A FREE PRESS.

You know it makes sense, comrades.

---

JB: Yeah, thanx but don't hold your breath Abe.

d7b

August 14, 2008

07:07 PM

lol. great writing, but i think you are wrong.

When all massive and developing nations die in the ass from pollution and destruction and our 20 mil becomes closer to the remaining human life in the rest of the world's countries...

Welcome fishing/surfing/beachbum overlords.... US!

i think with populations the size of our competitors, the fact we are in the top five shows how useless they all are. Canada, Netherlands and Australia on the otherhand...

Atheletics fan

August 14, 2008

05:53 PM

I've come across this at another website:

Too many medals are allocated to swimming(Freestyle/Breaststroke/Backstroke/Butterfly) and in lenghth (50/100/200/400/800/1500)

By the same token, they should have 100m/200m/300m/400m hurdles or High Jump with left/right/both feet.

Ha!

Lamington Souvalaki

August 14, 2008

05:30 PM

Get a load of the wailing and gnashing of teeth going on over here in NZ. So far we have not even got a sniff of a medal and the strong likelyhood is we are gonna finish up at this event with sod all.
You know things are not too bright when your best hope for a medal starts saying he's got irritable bowel syndrome on live breakfast tv. Put me right off my weetbix.

----

JB: LMAO.

disappointedpanda

August 14, 2008

04:17 PM

I cannot believe what a fuss the age made about "fake" foot paint and lip-synch and the game in general.
I recently watch DVD of BBC production Pride and Prejudice starring Colin Firth and director shown in DVD that Colin Firth did not jump into pond but his double did. No one complaint that, so i do not understand why all these fuss about "fake" foot paint and lip-synch. For god seek it is entertainment, and director of the show told the what was really the case voluntarily without anyone even ask about it.
What are you going to accuse us again? Chinese woman put on make up to cover their real face! from a country so fond of both watching plastic surgery reality TV and doing it themselves

SKB

August 14, 2008

04:01 PM

I just came back from Beijing yesterday.... wow,these people are incredibly humble, respectable, dignified and ever so ready to help....
Maybe there's a few traits we could learn to adopt! Unbelievable effort from ALL the Chinese people... you are a truly proud race. CONGRATULATIONS!
Oh... and Congratulations to our Mens swimmers ie. Hackett and Thorpe (ret.)... you've really elevated your status in social etiquette within the swimming community... the public criticism of other swimmers has really backfired on you! Great Job! Oh and today, Eamon- checkout your undignified response to your defeat in the 100m.... graciousness in defeat is endearing!

Chaz

August 14, 2008

03:24 PM

Gb knowing your knowledge of which establishments i'll come along with you on that one
*back into English twit mode*
Rhino old boy love to come along. I suppose it is time to collect some ducks on the wing. I'll bring my Purdeys, hunters and some plonk.

Guru Bob

August 14, 2008

02:32 PM

Wellll I have always had a thing about Asian babes and after a delicious lunch of handmade dumplings and noodles with Barnes, I wouldn't have too many problems with it...

RT

August 14, 2008

02:15 PM

Yeah, I've got one for you. There is a limit on the number of athletes from each country during the finals in each competition.

smilypanda

August 14, 2008

02:09 PM

TR, maybe we should also make allowance for the game is dominated by western games and china only started in 1984.

I can sure you that many of games i had not heard of or seen when i was in china 18 years ago. I am not a sports fan for sure but i came from one of the most advanced city in china, I tell you i never see a tennis ball when i was in china.
China is embrace western world but so far there is very little other way around.

TR

August 14, 2008

12:52 PM

Can at least one of you (commentators) make some token comment about the number of medals won in relation to the population of a country. Is 10 medals from a country with 100 million people any better than 1 medal from a country with 10 million people ??

Aphra

August 14, 2008

11:18 AM

Hi John,

Good blog, but just a small error. Your sentence should read, "Your time has PASSED."
Either that or you can say, "IS past."

Please get it right.

Cheers,

Aphra

Editor/Writer

---

JB: D'oh!

Sorted.

Gone to the scrub

August 14, 2008

11:09 AM

One question: If we take the course you propose, what will it mean for the trilogy? Surely the Chinese Overlords would consider it have wrong emphasis...

JB, well done! The main issue I found with those imperial dogs is they normally bark on the wrong tree causing unnecessory bloodshed....

Now there is a real target there and let's see if they are capable for the mission.

GreatWallRabbit

August 14, 2008

09:11 AM

Just came back from Beijing for a shot break, fair dinkum, can’t believe the negativity towards the Olympics host nation in our media, having seen the Beijingers wholeheartedly embrace the world.

Just want to echo Carrus’s view on the westernisation of China. Trying to polish up my written Chinese, I frequent their blogs, the netizens are a smart lot, chatting to them gives you some amazing insight into their democratic (surprise, surprise) psyche. Who knows, they may well come up with a model to rival Uncle Sam’s.

By the way, they have 8 free to air channels broadcasting almost all events of all countries to satisfy every nationality, a true Olympic effort.

Xiao

August 14, 2008

08:45 AM

JB, how many imperial dogs have you caught here, get them to bite or murder the guy who decided the fake singing in the opening ceremony. He is also the public enemy of Chinese netizen.

---

JB: Ha! I got a whole pound full o' them.

Meekmode

August 14, 2008

08:25 AM

It's now official! The most populous nation on earth is also the smartest and fittest! Darwin's evolution theory has obviously predicted this.

PS. very insightful comments by Carrus, agree with almost every word you said, mate. Who said that the American model is the only correct democratic model? Why can't people see the obvious fallacy in their logic - you must be wrong if you disagree with me or are different to me.

Somewhat less sarcastically-- I've worked intermittently in China for 2 years now. Really wonderful people there, friendly, hospitable. And actually, very individualistic-- much less groupthink there than in the USA certainly, so I guess that whole "collectivism" stereotype of China doesn't apply. And they're even democratizing, at least in the courts, the laws, checks and balances, some elections, though they'll never adopt a US-style election system-- which is probably a good thing, considering the corrupt, lobbyist-controlled fiasco that gave the world George W. Bush. If anything, China is leaning closer toward an Aussie-type model, but overall I guess, it's going to be a uniquely Chinese style of democracy-- more of a meritocracy I guess, with leaders chosen without adversarial political parties, and consensus-driven more than (though not excluding) a debate-driven style. Which considering the way the USA and much of the West has fumbled so badly on the environment and on economics, is also, maybe, a good thing.

---

JB: It's a pity we have a 300word limit on comments, cos I'd love to read more about this.

Marty Yau in Saudi

August 14, 2008

12:02 AM

JB, someone commented in your previous blog, recommending www.nytimes.com
to see an exemplary journalism on the Olympics.

I went there, trying to find out if the Yanks can do sport reporting better than Fairfax.
To my surprise, they do.

I suggest readers who are really after good sport journalism to check out the new york times.
Be pleasantly surprised.

Coverage of the Olympic from European Channels are excellent.
I watched the TVE (Television Espanola) life coverage of the opening ceremony and was not dissapointed.
First they don't show ads and importantly the commentary was enlightening and not patronising.

Al Jazirah perhaps does a better coverage than Channel 7.
Thank God, I am outside of Australia, so am not
subjected to the appalling coverage from this Channel, as I learned from comments in this site.

Why focus on the negatives if you can report on the positives, which can benefit Australian.
Have you been out of the Media Center to the Olympic Village
and see that the external lights around the village are powered by
Photovoltaic cell? None of journalists,
be it American, Australian, Brazillian noticed that.

I happened to pick this fact, while watching the photos of the Olympic village blogged by a Brazillian
journalist.

What hope do we have for an improved understanding between the two people? If you guys stick with an
old propaganda line that all commies are evils.

I expect better from a reputable paper, that the Sydney Morning Herald is.

Rhino

August 13, 2008

11:08 PM

Chaz ... Thanks for pointin' out my mistake. I sincerely appreciates your watchin' out for my diction. Hey, I was just thinkin', I gotta' take a drive out to the country, you wanna' go and keep us company? No? You sure? We're gonna' have cannolis. Yeah, you come along ... it's a nice drive out by the marshes. I wanna' do it to show my appreciation of people who go around correctin' other people and embarrassin' them in front of the world.

Just sayin,
Rhino

Bob

August 13, 2008

10:14 PM

Hahahaha!

I do wonder what you're on though, JB!

cos

August 13, 2008

09:40 PM

it must be comforting for you to now know that less than 50% of your readers (those with a sense of humour) have any idea what you are talking about. this fact, however, will probably help you if, in some time in our glorious future, you are ever charged for inciting disharmony, revealing state secrets or making seditious comments (in the unlikely event you have a jury trial,anyway).

and who made the comment about the 'co-prosperity sphere'? you should know that there is only one group more despised than the imperialist yankee running dogs in contemporary Chinese history - the japanese imperialist dogs! your chat-room and blogging rights, my friend, will be the first to be revoked - and rightly so!

but i am surprised you didnt seem to know we have taken over the top position on the lard-laden rankings from the US. but this strengthens, rather than detracts from your argument that we need to dump the 5-pounder cheeseburgers for a promising, leaner future featuring steamed fish and eggs and tomato on rice.

if thats the price we have to pay for a couple more 'gongs' and a few more minutes of fame on the olympic podium than its a small one.

cos

ps, the babies in toilets comment by one reader was in very bad taste. the person who made it needs to do a bit more comparitive research on the 'horror stories' and inequalities of our respective health systems.

Emperor Nasi Goreng

August 13, 2008

07:20 PM

Yes!
It is good that you except your inferior position.

Now build your own wall to keep the rabbits out!

yoyo

August 13, 2008

07:15 PM

On behalf of the politburo, I say NO, not another one of those autonomous regions that begged to be fed by us and later turned their back on us and begged Uncle Sam. We simply do not have time for these sort of things now. Thank you very much for your interest in the application.

lonelyoz

August 13, 2008

06:49 PM

hope oz could win more metals, i just love Jones' smile so much...
GO OZ...GO...

dramaqueen

August 13, 2008

06:46 PM

My son has just been to a basketball game between China and New Zealand where he was attacked and had things thrown at him for cheering for New Zealand.

Ironic Detachment

August 13, 2008

06:16 PM

so much is said
so much is done
so little is affected
by the power of one

Sports Fan

August 13, 2008

05:54 PM

Well, hehehe, we Chinese do love to eat rice, so I gotta say you do have a point there.

Drooby

August 13, 2008

05:53 PM

The King is dead! Long live the King! I've been struggling with the effort required to learn Mandarian for years. This has sealed the deal. Time to bite the bullet and sink my teeth into another language. Just before our new overlords realise that I am of no use to their world domination scheme. At the least the food will be a marked improved from the last previous masters. Bring on the dumplings and chicken's feet....

mattksi

August 13, 2008

05:01 PM

And you JB, will be useful to them in rounding up others to work in their underground Soy Sauce mines

Aussie in HK

August 13, 2008

04:51 PM

Sports Fan. Nice work. Given that HK is part of China these days, should the beach volleyball team wish to come and stay in HK instead, I am sure that is no problem and HK would welcome them with both (actually, all) arms.

Timbook2

August 13, 2008

04:16 PM

I'd love to add something witty here, but you folks are cracking me up! This is some funny stuff. JB, you should be writing for Leno or O'Brien.

Btw, you folks really shouldn't give up on good old Uncle Sam just yet. True, we have our down years, but overall, we mostly have great years and we always will. Do you wanna know why? Because we pour about as much energy and money into athletics in this country as we do into our National Defense Budget. We like our military toys and we like to win when we play. And please remember, if it weren't for the good ole US of A you'd all be going by your new, special fun-time names, Comrade, Godless Pig or Bitch.

Now excuse me friends, I thawed out some cherries, scarfed 'em down and let 'em ferment. So now it's payback time on the family dog. I'm gonna rip a toxic waste fart in his face. Have a nice day. Peaceeeeeeee!!

hehehe

August 13, 2008

04:10 PM

Sports Fan:

No the Politiburo said Stephanie Rice can stay but not her boyfriend. The aussie beach volley ball girls are not pretty enough.

Sports Fan

August 13, 2008

03:22 PM

JB, good to see you come to your good sense so quickly. On behalf of the Politburo, let me say that we appreciate your loyalty and welcome you good Aussies with open arms. However, due to the limit of space, we can't take all of you in, so here are the rules: fat grumpy old men need not apply; good looking sexy aussie girls are welcome. Your entire beach volleyball team can stay. As a matter of fact, special arrangement has been made for them in the back chambers of the forbidden city.

---

JB: No fat grumpy old men? But... but...

Therbs

August 13, 2008

03:07 PM

Xiao - yes please, wise master!

Message from your Chinese Overlords

August 13, 2008

03:02 PM

Fix your mal functioned public transport system and your nearly collapsed public health system! Don't make baby born in the toilet again and again.

---

JB: You know, it's disturbing that the Chinese bloggers got this joke, but some locals didn't. That's right. I'm looking at you, Ted.

KJ

August 13, 2008

02:20 PM

Long live glorious Chinese overlords!

- with great love and deference from just another humble vassal state called Australia.

Redneck Ninja

August 13, 2008

01:52 PM

Throw away the tomato sauce and get some hoisin on the barbie. Tip down the Tooheys and put some Tsingtao on ice.

Lets prosecute Eric Campbell and his vile attack on the Chinese Motherland. I personally don't think the ABC toes the government line enough anyway.

It's UnAustralian not to hook up with the Chinese. Are we not a nation of winners?

去中国！ for those of you playing at home.

ubersejanus

August 13, 2008

01:46 PM

Comrades, I bring good news from the inner darkness of the beast's own maw.

The Imperialist running dogs themselves know that their time is over. We must join the greater chinese co-prosperity sphere before it's too late!!!

hiho

August 13, 2008

01:35 PM

I don't understand why there are so many swimming events in Olympics. I can understand the Atheletics events tend to be more. But all I see on TV is swimming, swimming and swimming!

Guys, go to NY Times website. There are more coverage about the different events. And they tend to be surprisingly neutral too!

Chaz

August 13, 2008

01:14 PM

Rhino, sorry it's 'nudge nudge wink wink' actually old boy.

Mr Xiao, remember one must keeps ones humour like we English do when we lose the cricket to those foreign johnnies with funny names.

Met some lovely gentlemen when honkers was handed over in '97 form the PSB if I remember they explained how Special Branch could get better arrest rates by using vigorous interrogations like they do.

Anyway toodlepip off to the club for a few G&T's with Squire Bedak

ML

August 13, 2008

01:13 PM

Ted 'First of all at the time of this writing, the US is enjoying a 4 medal lead over the communists... You also need to get up to speed and acknowledge the fact that Australia has just surpassed the US as the world's fattest nation'

We've always thought that you Americans are too self-assured to be touched by our feeble disapprovals. Thank you for gracing us with a comment and to remind us that you are human afterall.

theVoice

August 13, 2008

01:12 PM

The US is finished as a world super power. Their sub prime mortgage on economic and sporting power has just been foreclosed!

Bring on our Red Chinese rulers... I'll be OK... I have just mastered eating with chopsticks and glorious Kevin07 can be my translator.

smilypanda

August 13, 2008

01:07 PM

China would like an equal and firm friends as Australia.

We are happy with china's gold so far, but we know USA is very strong, spend more money on sport than china and attracts best players and they also normally win more gold later in the events, so we are very clear headed.

Enjoy the game and please be kind to china, china is play as hard and as fair as everyone else.

Xiao

August 13, 2008

12:54 PM

Don't be ridiculous, Therbs. In your case I would suggest China to treat you the way how indigenous people were treated before, feeling better now?

Papanikle

August 13, 2008

12:48 PM

I once opened a fortune cookie and all it said inside was 'He who goes to bed with itchy bum, wakes up with smelly finger'. What kind of fortune cookie was that. I got ripped off.

Therbs

August 13, 2008

12:17 PM

Hey, Rob. The idea is that we are part of China. Now please wait where you are while the Peace Volunteers Bus comes and collects you for Joyous Harmony Picnic of Peoples' Revolution.
Its okay, your loved ones will be told where you are (chortle).

Ted

August 13, 2008

12:12 PM

What an idiot! You are an embarrassment to the Sydney Morning Herald. First of all at the time of this writing, the US is enjoying a 4 medal lead over the communists and proudly are winning the events that have an objective, absolute defined winner. The Chinese are the beneficiaries of some kind judging in the subjective events. Oh, and how about the "16 year old" gymnasts? Please, get a clue! You also need to get up to speed and acknowledge the fact that Australia has just surpassed the US as the world's fattest nation. Stick that in your meat pie and eat it!

---

JB: It's breathtaking isn't it, Ted, that people can be so stupid they don't recognise what's in front of them.

The Goon Squad

August 13, 2008

11:59 AM

Burp. Umm, sorry, sir. We was out back having a few stubbies and what not and the little begger slipped past.

Burp. Time for some tequila chasers, mates. Remember, if there is salt on the toilet rim then do not eat the worm in the punch bowl.

Matthew F.

August 13, 2008

11:52 AM

+++that little fat kid would never have been allowed on Hey Dad+++

I wonder what Mick Molloy would have done for material then?

BRP

August 13, 2008

11:52 AM

'Sweet Jane Says' is entirely correct. There is just not enough being written about the Beijing Olympics right now.

So, Birmingham, off to the re-education camps for you, and learn to write for Maoï¿½s sake!

Robert

August 13, 2008

11:44 AM

You have got to be kidding!

I dont want my country handed over to the Chinese and if you feel that way you should piss off and live in China!

Rob.

---

JB: This man has no sense of humor. Quick! Give him a politburo seat.

Mr Smug

August 13, 2008

11:38 AM

New overlords? Thats ok, I was getting bored with the old ones. Hopefully the food will improve.

And for those predicting the Olympic end of US and the rise of China: wait until the athletics start and the gymnastics and diving end before leaping to conclusions.

terri from melbourne

August 13, 2008

11:21 AM

Good luck to that little chinese girl
hope she wouldnt turn out to be like our Nikki Webster..sex kitten

Sweet Jane Says

August 13, 2008

11:06 AM

You've established the fact that China is hosting the '08 Olympics. When do you intend to write about the sport?

Sweet Jane Says

---

JB: Ah there's enough of that sporting rubbish for everyone. Now, back to the new hegemony.

MudCrab

August 13, 2008

11:03 AM

I'm sold.

Cancel my Holiday in Cambodia at once!

Chaz

August 13, 2008

10:56 AM

Modern standard chinese (sounds very politically correct) eh? That must make cantonese 'reactionary running dog lacky chinese' then :))

Rhino so funny but oh so true!!

Phildo

August 13, 2008

10:38 AM

If China had been running out country, that little fat kid would never have been allowed on Hey Dad.

Ya' know you really need to think before ya' type sometimes ... Ya makes people a little nervous talkin' about goin' over to the Chicoms and all that rubbish. You know what I'm sayin? And you don't want to make the wrong people nervous, do ya? I'm just sayin' is all. Some people might get the wrong idea n'at. Sure, we know you're one of them intellex, intelecs, errrr smart guys and you shoot off that mouth a'yours sometimes and we think it's funny n'all, but, sometimes a man has got to stop and think before he talks about turnin' rat. Just a little advice is all. I don't mean nothin' by it.

When you joined the Coalition of the Willing you joined for life ... but you knew that ... didn't you? Of course you did.

::release Birmo - pats him on the cheek::

I'm glad that we could have this little talk. Friends should be able to talk about things that concern them. Especially friends with nukes and friends that don't have nukes. Know what I'm sayin? Yeah, you know what I'm sayin'. One big happy family if you know what I mean ::wink wink nudge nudge::

Now, enough of this rat talk - go on back to your typewriter and do a nice little piece on that cute Aussie girl that looks so good in her Speedo. Somethin' that people want to read - that's more like it. You'll be happier that way, trust me.

Don't make come back down here, y'hear?

In Loyalty and Omerta,
Rhino

---

JB: Uh yeah sure Mr Rhino sir, sure whatever you say...

...

...

Premier Hu!

Stevo in HK

August 13, 2008

10:07 AM

I mean the white coloured tank is a bit scary but folks looking at the markings on the side its not even an army tank,.. thats merely a state police tank. No chance of it hving been used in Tian an men, that was the handywork of 27th Shock Army...

Not to water down the threat of that tank but its clear they're using fear of a bit bit o' metal with a poorly concealed 40mm Tear gas launcher, to make us all think its an armoured personnel carrier.

But letting the world see the anti air missile batteries and stony faced guards as easily accessed television (ABC Australia Int'l) isnt putting any of us at ease, which is the opposite of what they wanted.
Maybe me being a media studies teacher i oughta go into dictatorship media advice consultancy

Murph

August 13, 2008

09:47 AM

Ah, I'd like to point out that the USA Women's Sabre Team TOTALLY WIPED OUT the competition, going for a three medal sweep, whereas so far, near as I can tell, China has managed to pick up a mere singular medal on the piste.

So pardon me while this American (hardly obesse by any means) farts in their general direction.

Oh, my childhood best friend's father? He fought for the Nationalists. :)

Respects (I guess),
Murph
From the Great Midwestern State of Missouri here in the good old Redneck infested Red White and Blue United States of the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave America!

Psst, think I poured it on just a bit thick?
---

JB: How did this imperialist comment get through?

Goons! Goons!

Hmmm. Where are my goons?

I was promised goons.

Bourkie

August 13, 2008

09:45 AM

It is a sign of the times that Australia now has a Chinese (the name is now Modern Standard Chinese by the way, not Mandarin!) speaking Prime Minister, and the US hopes soon to have an English speaking President!

Derrick

August 13, 2008

09:42 AM

I for one welcome our new Chinese overlords.

janc

August 13, 2008

09:41 AM

Thank God for the freedom of the western press.

We are free to read and make our own judgement about the report of the rejection of Yang Peiyi, the little girl with the "flawless" voice, heard but not seen during the Chinese Olympics Opening Ceremony.

Thank God that in making our judgement about this ethically confronting event, we can rely on a well-informed conscience nurtured in a non-communist, non-totalitarian state.

Here, in our land "where we are young and free", individuals are not crushed by the arm of the State, but are celebrated. They do not have to acquiesce in a robot-like fashion to the dictates of an authoritarian and deified State, but they can choose to share their amazing gifts of difference and diversity for the enrichment of civil society if they so wish to do so.

In spite of the long shadow of the sterile, overpoweringly authoritarian rule to the north of us, may Australians never experience such a State-level insult to their personal gifts and skills.

---

JB: Goons! Arrest this man.

brian

August 13, 2008

09:19 AM

Now, now children. Let's not upset our mates. Strewth. What you have to do is to out-scrut the unscrutable.

Not to get our American cousins upset - but the day's of Olympic dominance are coming to a close. Bit like what happened with Great Britain without the Empire. The Indians and Chinese are going to dominate these things eventually. Weight of numbers. Then its a matter of 'let the best drug cheats and sports scientists win'.

ANd as for our secret overlords. Hump . .well . . 'let a thousand flowers bloom . .' And we do really like you. y'know? We wouldn't waste our time on people we dislike. That's why we have politician's . . like the Ruddbot.

And in the spirit of the Olympics . . look up 'laconic'. Province in Greece. Laconae.

brian

Therbs

August 13, 2008

09:15 AM

I've done another back flip on this. I just realised that if Glorious and Most Wonderful China ran all Olympics the shooters would probably get to shoot live pigeons instead of Running Dog Imperialist Lackey Impostor clay birds. And then cook the results in a really, really tasty stir fry. Now, quickly to the shredding machine to save my copy of Mao's little red book.
Phew, that was too close.

Interesting piece about the little girl at the opeing ceremonies not actually singing what we heard, just because some po faced politburo member thought although she was pretty enough she couldn't sing.

I wonder if it's true...

---

JB: Everything is true until I say otherwise, imperialist dog!

barnesm

August 13, 2008

09:10 AM

redneck
"it's hard to swallow isn't it? to see the free world leaders kowtowing to the commie".

The people's Rebulic of China are COMMUNISTs!

Who knew?

Has anyone told the rest of the world?

Samuel C.

August 13, 2008

09:06 AM

Oh man, this is the perfect place for a story of mine...I was visiting my (Chinese) girlfriend a few days ago, and we ended up needing a place to stay. We were able to find lodging at the house of an American with a Taiwanese wife; there were about five other Chinese staying there that night (he works in campus ministry, so he has lots of international students over, I guess).

Anyway, we happened to be watching Michael Phelps win his first gold. And what did I do? Why, I stomped my foot in time to the chant all Americans learn: "USA! USA! USA!"

My girlfriend smacked me. I thought it was pretty funny, actually. I was just joking, honestly!

ML

August 13, 2008

09:06 AM

i applaud your political astuteness JB, after 80-sth world leaders gathered in beijing just to watch that humble & meaningless opening ceremony and lined up in a humiliating queue for a photo-opportunity with Hu, you have finally got it all figured out!
but im afraid that your ingenuity cannot surpass that of our leaders:
PM howard invited the world's greatest dictator to speak in our 'tamed' parliament-house & proposed that we should act as the 'bridge btw China & USA' assuming that no Chinese can speak American & vice versa
& our PM rudd - while other Canberra politicians were striving to obtain 1st-class honours in combined law, he picked the less-confronting Chinese, thanks to that gift he is now a household name in China, surprising given our trivial existence in the world
even PM hawke is now making millions in that country working with that despicable regime, his emotional post-Tiananmen square performance now a distant memory
but it's not too bad is it? the Australian economy continues to grow, fuelled by China's insatiable resource demand, while that of other developed nations stagnate
meanwhile, what have the yanks given us? sub-prime, troop commitment
democracy & freedom of speech are over-rated, esply when we are talking abt that of the others
keep up the good work & the proud Aussie tradition!

---

JB: Thank you for your kind and insightful words ML. Would you like to be my deputy governor? Somebody said I'd get a brand new province if I made the switch quickly enough.

moko

August 13, 2008

09:01 AM

Who's got a better chance at building me an exoskeleton?. The Yanks or the Chinese?.

Chaz

August 13, 2008

08:19 AM

definetely some glorious winds blowing in the clay pigeon event!

and err mate why did you think we got a Mandarin speaking PM it's already happened!!

redneck

August 13, 2008

08:12 AM

it's hard to swallow isn't it? to see the free world leaders kowtowing to the commie.

Yosemite Sam don't kow-tow

August 13, 2008

08:01 AM

Now this explains the book about North America disappearing ....

Stevo in HK

August 13, 2008

07:49 AM

But JB didn't you in your last Blog post make the comment of "stick-to-a-tive-ness" to use another simpsonsism of following something even though it might be in a slump?,.. or has the presence of the gloriously heavily armed vanguard of the peaceful rise of china and the 86th Guards tank division have you seeing the "light"?

Yeah, but is Peking Duck better than roast turkey with cranberry sauce? Are dim sims better than cheeseburgers? Is a plate of deep fried grasshoppers better than a bowl of grits? Is sweet and sour pork better than barbecued hog?
Challenging questions. I think I still prefer a few drumsticks of southern fried chook as a hangover cure. Thousand year old green eggs (no ham, Sam I am,)doesn't really cut the hangover mustard for me.
And more importantly, who has better fart jokes?

----

JB: Well, these are all good points, but I think the fart joke argument is the most convincing. Cosely folloed by the grasshoppers. We wont have to eat grasshoppers will we, Premier Hu?

Xiao

August 13, 2008

07:23 AM

Based on the adjusted medal tally on Seven's Sunrise show Australia is actually the Number 1 and this has been cheered for several days during the morning show!

Not sure how the figure is exactly calculated but seems population is a major leverage. Well done Channel Seven!

So JB, Aussie Gold!(tm) in percentage has already stacked the highest in the world!

---

JB: Well, per capita is nice, but quantity has a kwality all of its own, Xiao.

laura

August 13, 2008

07:23 AM

A brilliantly witty reply to all the Australia-bashing going on in the comments, John!

Sceptic

August 13, 2008

06:57 AM

How much of this Chinese gold comes from "extra help"? Looks to me like the Berlin Olympics..

---

JB: Oh Sceptical, how very scept... oh... right.

Abe F

August 13, 2008

05:37 AM

I too would welcome our new overlords.

Perhaps some of you new blog buddies could get in touch with someone official in Beijing to help expedite the love.

Comments Terms & Conditions

When posting comments on our blogs, you agree to be bound by our terms and conditions.
Comments that are offensive, defamatory, unsuitable or that breach any aspects of the terms and conditions will be deleted.