Monday, September 3, 2012

Boston in Film

There was Ben Affleck deftly slinging his Boston accent. There was Boston once again being portrayed as a modern day version of prohibition era Chicago. Violent Irish (in this case) mobsters, shooting it out in broad daylight in front of a really good place to get clam chowdah. That shit never happens around here. We almost never have shootouts. At least not in front of the places where you can get good clam chowdah.

And that accent. And the dialogue. In the movies, at least within a certain socio-economic archetype, the word Fahkin' is unnecessarily prevalent. Ubiquitous, even. Very.

Every pause or salient point is brought home with a "fahkin'." Everyone in the city is a fahkin' tough guy. It's like punctuation. "I like fahkin' ice cream fahkin cake fahkin cookies fahkin pie. I gotta huge fahkin' sweet tooth." People here don't talk like that in real life. Mostly. Basically. At least not all the time.

We watch a show called Falling Skies on TBS. Don't hate. It's post the alien invasion of earth and the humans have formed a resistance. The aliens are these crab/lobster looking things. It has Noah Wiley, but we watch it anyway because we like sci-fi stuff and the first season is set in and around Boston.

The thing is, no one has a Boston accent. Not the worst thing. The acting is shaky enough without throwing a bad accent into it. But I wish someone would make a sci-fi movie with Marky Mark as the hero where he just rips into his Boston accent, Hollywood style.

Anyway, we liked Falling Skies too. Sci-Fi - doesn't take much to impress, but those walking robots things are nasty. And there was that creepy scene where the alien was sleeping with the kids. Strange.

Matilda- A black and white cat short in length, shaped like a watermelon, and overflowing with love and disdain. And psychosis. And girth

Ivy Pickles-Ivy Pickles is an asshole. I once left half an avocado on the counter for 5 minutes and when I came back, it was gone. I found the hollowed out husk under the table. Ivy's whiskers were green. She purrs a lot, too.

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About Me

I am an ex-dishwasher-short order cook-baker-college student-deli man-grant writer-sketch and stand up comic(shrug)-mailman-scenester (blech) and partier. Among other things. I am currently a devoted and tired family man and occasional Zamboni driver.