Buffy's Diary 1997-1998

Entry One

Dear Diary

Well I had a brief stint where I was channeling Cordy with the bitch tude. Can I be a bigger moron? It's not a good sign when the Queen Bitch comes up to give me some advice. That isn't an experience I want to go through again.

Xander's right Angel should get a bell since he's so quiet. What was I thinking when I challenged Angel to kick my ass. I think smashing the Master's bones into dust was quite cathartic. I don't think I'll be plagued with those nightmares anymore. I'm just glad the gang is safe and sound although it didn't help my having a major case of stupidity. All is forgiven and I am so lucky to have Willow and Xander. I don't know I'd do without those two.

Entry Two

Dear Diary

I know Angel was jealous even though he wouldn't admit it. Talk about a mood breaker falling into a grave. It was just another fun filled night in the cemetery. So a girl was dragged from a grave no vamp this time which is nice for a change sort of. Why would someone dig up a dead girl? This is highly disturbing. This is Giles territory.

Behold the weirdness of my love life. He can deny it all he wants but I know he was jealous of that dance I did with Xander. That dance is sure to haunt me for a while. Well I'm beat so I'm gonna to see if I can get some sleep and maybe one of those fantabulous dreams about you know who.

Entry Three

Dear Diary

Great the ghoul duo tried to make a girl made out of body parts of dead girls and Cordy was going to be the head. There is a pattern here that Cordy is always at the center of psycho humans. What does that say about her? Gee could she cling any tighter to Angel. Doesn't she know that Angel is a vampire and mine.

How freaky that Chris brought back his brother from the dead. No wonder the poor guy had to hide since he looked like a giant baseball with all that stitching. Behold the power of the brain. Sure knowledge may be power but there are just some things you shouldn't mess with. Making a dead girlfriend for your dead brother is a bad thing big time.

At least Chris realized that it was wrong to play Frankenstein not to mention being God. It's Eric that's a flaming psycho with a serious need for a stint in the nuthouse. It's for the best that Daryl went back to the grave where he belongs. May Eric have fun in the psych ward. Poor Chris but in the end he did do the right thing. Well as Willow says love makes you do the wacky and that would include those in your family. Ah ha he finally admitted it so I am vindicated.

Entry Four

Dear Diary

His ratness sentenced me to decorating the school for Parent/Teacher night. He really needs a hobby since he's having way too much fun torturing me. I'm not as bad as that Sheila now that girl is serious trouble. I'm the Slayer so a certain amount of fighting is to be expected so what's her excuse. Oh great Giles and yet another prophecy. Well tonight I'll go to the Bronze and maybe Angel will show up. This girl deserves a break after all that banner making.

Entry Five

Dear Diary

Well things didn't go as planned. Rat Boy caught up to mom and it was so close since Willow had already taken her to all of my classes while I was playing hostess. He wasn't singing my praises but it turned out not so bad. I wasn't grounded which is good. Sure a bunch of vamps showing up wasn't on the menu but mom really impressed me.

That Spike guy is pretty tough. I will never forget mom picking up that axe and telling Spike to get the hell away from her daughter. That was pretty cool and gutsy considering she has no idea that this small town is crawling with vampires and that her daughter is the Slayer.

Entry Six

Dear Diary

I don't like the idea of some stranger coming to my house. I'm going to go insane. Why did my mom sign up for the student exchange thing anyway? Well the field trip tomorrow means no classes which is a plus to my suffering. Oh goodie I get to pick up this guy from the bus station. That should be tons of fun. I'm bed bound hopefully to have happy dreams. I think I'll see if I can go to the dance. I'm sure I can talk Giles into saying yes.

Entry Seven

Dear Diary

Well Ampata turned out to be a girl. I'm not very thrilled about sharing a room but I'll make the best of it. Xander certainly likes her since he was making googlie eyes at her. That was so weird how that guy bolted when he saw mummy Rodney. Yikes having the life sucked out of you so you wind up as a dry husk has to be a horrible way to die. Maybe Ampata will come in handy with the translating that plate thing.

Entry Eight

Dear Diary

Xander has a terrible track record when it comes to girls. A crush on a giant bug lady and now a mummy girl. Poor Willow and she is such a great girl and she wants him and she isn't a bug or a mummy but it's a similar sitch between me and him as it is between him and her. Whoa I think that was a sentence well the intent was a sentence anyway.

She'll find a guy I just know it unless all the guys are totally stupid. He's out there somewhere she just has to put herself out there. Although not like she did that time she hooked up with a vampire. It should be in daylight with many people around. I'm just glad that mummy girl didn't turn Xander into a mummy. It's not a good look for him. In a way I feel bad for her because she had to give up her life and never had a chance at a normal life. Sound a little familiar you betcha! Of course that doesn't mean you can go around killing people.

Entry Nine

Dear Diary

That was a nice change of pace to hang out with my buds and watch movies in Hindu. Things have been so quiet so it's been nice to have a break. What a dream I had about Angel. Wow! I'm insane I can't have a relationship with a vampire. I just can't stop thinking about him. I'm breakfast bound. I think I'll have a bagel with a touch of cream cheese. I feel like living on the edge.

Entry Ten

Dear Diary

What was I thinking when I agreed to go to that frat party? Tom seemed nice and I deserve to have some fun but with Cordy of all people. Cordelia and that laugh and her really listening. Call me crazy but listening actually requires the person to actually listen to what the other person is saying. Not exactly Cordy's strong suit but a part of me wishes I could be more like Cordy.

Well I just mean that I wish I could be more carefree and not have to worry about saving the world. I better go get ready. Forget Cordy's stupid rules I want to wear that cute black dress I got last weekend.

Entry Eleven

Dear Diary

Not exactly what I expected from a frat party but at the same time not totally unexpected. Yeah getting drugged and chained to the wall in order to be sacrificed to some snake demon yeah that's a Buffy party. Wormy is sliced and diced now and the guys are behind bars. Only guys would have a psycho frat like this sacrificing girls to some demon. Once again Cordelia goes to Angel and thanks him when I'm the one that killed the demon.

Entry Twelve

Dear Diary

Halloween's coming and his ratness forced us to volunteer to take out a group of kids to go trick or treating. Doesn't he know the meaning of the word. He needs a dictionary and a personality. The one night when vamps stay in and I have to get dressed up. That little man is such a troll. I was looking forward to a night of vegging. So much for a date with Angel. As usual Cordelia was lurking around. I come in all strawy and there she is perfectly dressed and accessorized.

Willow was genius in suggesting we look through the Watchers Diaries. Since he's not much for the sharing thing. Give the girl a clue she didn't believe me when I told her that Angel's a vampire. Will even backed me up but Cordy didn't believe us. Is there a brain in there or has it atrophied from lack of use? On the plus side I got this really killer dress for Halloween. I'll be a princess all dressed up like the girls did when Angel was alive.

Entry Thirteen

Dear Diary

So much for Halloween being dead. Will had a good point about dressing up as Xena since it would have come in handy when we became our costumes. That would have been cool to have that round frisbee thing to throw around. Instead I was a 18th century girl and totally helpless. Angel didn't even like the girls back then so my effort was wasted on him.

He likes little ole 20th century me. Well that's good to know. Another encounter with Spike but still no stake. I would have loved to see Giles face when he saw Will walk through the wall. It would be a cool power to have though.

Entry Fourteen

Dear Diary

I wonder who that girl was with Angel last night. She was pretty but I don't think she was a vampire since they looked pretty friendly. He's not one to hang out with other vamps. Wow my old crush Ford has transferred. Cool he'll be at the Bronze tonight. It'll be great to catch up with him. If I see Angel I'm going to be subtle and try to find out out that girl was. I better go get ready.

Entry Fifteen

Dear Diary

Oh great someone else knows my secret. Actually it's kind of a relief since it wouldn't be fun hiding my secret identity from Ford of all people. He was so cool about it. I'm not going to be obsessive about Angel lying to me. I wonder why he lied to me but I am not going to wonder anymore. Besides Ford's in town to stay and he's cuter than ever.

Later

So the girl with Angel is a vamp. So much for Ford staking that vamp since someone that looked exactly like the one that Ford claimed to dusted stole a book from the library. Can't a vampire get a library card like everyone else. I wonder what is going on with that book stealing and where Ford fits into all this.

Later that same night

Angel came over and I confronted him about Dru and made him tell me the truth. It wasn't pretty but what else could I expect when that was his bad ass days. He was a different person back then but it's a lot to absorb. I certainly wouldn't want to face him the way he was back in the day since it sounds pretty scary. So Ford's into vampires in a culty kind of way. I wonder what he wants.

Entry Sixteen

Dear Diary

That guy had such a dorky outfit. Well at least he's an alive dork. I can't believe that Ford did this to me it's not the same guy that I once knew. A brain tumor? That doesn't give him the right to offer up those people and me as food so he can become a vampire. Like it's a stroke of genius to deal with Spike of all vampires.

I guess when you're desperate you are driven to do things that you would normally never do. At least I hope that's the case. Well he's gone and I will miss but when I think of him I'll think of him before he came to Sunnydale back when he was actually a good guy. It is sad though.

Entry Seventeen

Dear Diary

How weird to see Giles drunk. I guess we all have our secrets. But Giles the guy of tweed messing with the bad mojo. That Ethan guy is a spineless coward. How wild that Giles was a rebel in his younger days. I never would have thought that Mr Tweed Watcher wasn't always the way he is now.

Damn it I really wanted those shoes that were on sale but I need to remove that stupid tattoo before mom sees it. I really don't like that guy. He should have to pay for getting rid of this thing. I can't believe that Giles was friends with that clown.

Entry Eighteen

Dear Diary

Great his ugliness forced me to take that stupid aptitude test. I already have a career unless Hell freezes over or I reach my expiration date. This is pointless so why should I be curious about what might have been when I know already. I'm the Slayer and unless someone offers to fill in for me I'm stuck with it.

How rude that vampire was stealing from a grave. So much for resting in peace. It was nice to see Angel waiting for me in my room. It was amusing to see him holding Mr Gordo. Angel is so sweet he asked me to go ice-skating. I haven't gone in ages and I could use the break and time with Angel is always welcome.

Entry Nineteen

Dear Diary

That test must be defective. Police? I don't think so. Talk about the last thing I would want to do. Ok so I'm still a little cranky. Well it would be nice to have a normal life like I had before destiny stepped in and chose me to be the Slayer. Oh wonderful Giles mentions law enforcement too. Sure I'll be a cop by day and a Slayer by night. That would be peachy. No thank you I'm not a uniform kind of gal and I certainly wouldn't want hat hair. So I'll put a check on my list of things that Buffy doesn't want to do.

Entry Twenty

Dear Diary

I was having a nice time skating even though I was a bit rusty when this huge guy attacked me. Can't a girl skate without someone trying to kill her? I don't think that's too much to ask. I'm like a doctor that's always on duty but with more blood and gore. But I don't get the hefty paycheck. Actually I don't get any pay at all. You'd think the Watchers Council would kick some cash my way. After all I do save the world and get rid of those pesky vampires and other demons.

See I knew Career Week would be no fun. That poor guy Oz got shot not to mention I went off on him but that was pretty brave of him to take a bullet for Will. He'll be fine and I get the feeling he likes Will. He seems like a nice guy and he has a pulse which is a plus.

So there are two Slayers now which could come in handy if I want to take a vacation. My first impression of Kendra wasn't a very good one. I don't react well to waking up with a person standing above me and trying to kill me. I guess she did have a good reason for assuming I was a vampire since she saw me with Angel. She's a stake first and ask questions later kind of girl. Well her helping me save Angel squared things between us so I'll forgive her for trying to kill me. It's a bit creepy to have another Slayer since it's a reminder that I was dead there for a minute.

Entry Twenty-one

Dear Diary

I was right about Ted which came as such a relief. I wasn't too thrilled about the thought of killing a guy even him. A creepy robot guy and my mom dated him. Just more proof that dating on the Hellmouth is Hell. At least Ted has been stopped permanently. No wonder everyone was so gaga over Ted what with his drugged food. So I was smart about not eating anything he made. I can't believe he read my diary. That is just something that should never be done like some kind of commandment.

Entry Twenty-two

Dear Diary

Who shops at a place called Everyday Woman? That is such a lame name. Oh goodie a vamp in the mall. I saved the girl but forgot to pick the dress up for mom. Oopsie! Damn I really wanted that outfit too but mom wouldn't buy it for me because she thought it was trashy and made me look like a hooker. What a refreshing change of pace to have the bloodsucker that introduces himself. He sounded like he was from Texas. An assignment for Giles to get the scoop on this Lyle Gortch guy.

Entry Twenty-three

Dear Diary

Me a single mother of my very own egg. I don't want to become my mom. Sure she's good as moms go but I'm me and not her. I enjoyed my patrolling with Angel. Smoochies in the cemetery is always a good time. He's quite the kisser. I could just kiss him all night. It was pretty dead in the cemetery. Oh I came up with a name for my egg. I'll call him Eggbert. Ok it's not the most original name in the world but it's an egg.

Entry Twenty-four

Dear Diary

I for one will never look at eggs the same way ever again. I don't think I'll be eating anytime soon. Eggbert hatched and this freaky creature came out. Good thing I killed mine since they controlled peoples minds. That thing was ultra slimy but I killed it. It was really gross and that big creepy eye just staring at you. At least Mama Bezoar got one of the Gortch brothers. Who would have thought Cordy could hit so hard with whatever she hit me with.

I save everyone and yet my mom is still pissed. I should at least not be grounded and a new outfit wouldn't be turned down. Another outfit totally ruined. Shouldn't I get a clothing allowance since I ruin so many outfits in the slayage gig. At least I got around that whole being confined to my room. Smoochies at the window was a loophole in my groundage.

Entry Twenty-five

Dear Diary

I had the strangest dream not to mention disturbing. I get out of bed to get a glass of water and end up at the Bronze. Angel was there but Dru came up behind him and staked him. I went over to see Angel to make sure he was OK. Kissing him made my brain turn off. All other thoughts escaped me. I shouldn't worry about Dru being alive since Angel wasn't worried so I won't be either. I think I'm going to take that next step. I'm going to seize the day and act on my want since it's inevitable. He was into it when I made that silly remark about seeing him at bedtime.

So I'm going for it and it looks like Willow is in crush mode. She can't wait for Xander to wake up and see what's right in front of him. Oz is a cutie and he did save her life so he gets my vote. I wonder how it went when she went over to him. Well I'm sure she'll fill me in on all the dish in our next gab session.

Entry Twenty-six

Dear Diary

That was so creepy to see my mom say the exact same thing as in my dream and her dropping the plate thing too. I'm thinking it was as Giles would call it a portent so I'm thinking that Dru is alive. I can't let the part where she kills Angel come true. It really wigged me out to see part of my dream come true. Giles is going to read up on Dru so I'm supposed to meet him later.

Entry Twenty-seven

Dear Diary

What a birthday! I guess it wouldn't be a Buffy party without some vamps getting in the way. We were having a moment on the dock when we were rudely interrupted. At least Angel didn't go away like he nearly did. Months without Angel wouldn't be good. But they got the arm and Big Blue has been activated.

Good for Will for bringing Oz as her date to my surprise party. That was so sweet of them to do that. Wow me and Angel made love and he told me that he loved me. It was so beautiful and so much better than I ever imagined. It was strange that he wasn't there when I woke up. Maybe he had to run an errand or something or maybe pick up some blood. So there was good in last night and Angel gave me that beautiful ring. I love him so much. Sure we ended up in the sewers but that wasn't anything new since we're no stranger to them.

Entry Twenty-eight

Dear Diary

A werewolf is on the loose. Oh goodie me and Giles get to go hunting. That Larry is such an ass. I took great pleasure in flipping him over. So much for acting like a meek girlie girl. That just doesn't work for me. Xander is a strange one all jealous now that Will's got a guy. What does he want her to wait around for him? I wonder if Will is making progress in the smoochies department. At least those nearest and dearest have social lives.

Entry Twenty-nine

Dear Diary

Bad and good news about Theresa. She wasn't killed by the werewolf but she was killed by Angel so there really is no good. Talk about things coming to bite you on the ass. One night of lovemaking and the guy I love is gone only to be replaced by an evil guy. Well men are evil.

So the wolf turned out to be Oz. A person just can't have a normal relationship in this town. It'll certainly be a challenge if Will continues to see Oz. At least he didn't hurt any people though it was a close call with Will. Now he knows and he can deal with it.

Entry Thirty

Dear Diary

Valentine's Day which means it's pig out time. Giles told me to stay in so it must be pretty bad since he doesn't exactly give me the night off if ever. He was a bad ass vamp in the day and apparently he enjoys this particular holiday. Judging by Giles it's not good. I don't know how it could be the same person. It's a total Jekyll and Mr Hyde thing.

I do feel bad for Giles though since he really cares about Jenny. It just sucks that he's suffering because of my stupidity. Maybe I should talk to her and set aside my feelings because he'll never go to her. He deserves to be happy even if it's with her. Besides I'm fulfilling the unlucky in love quota. Well I should go to the store for goodies for the pigging out.

Entry Thirty-one

Dear Diary

Xander had Amy do a love spell but in typical Hellmouth fashion it backfired big time. What is Amy thinking considering what her mom did? You just don't play around with magic. I can't believe what I almost did but Xander stopped me. Because he did the right thing in not taking advantage of me I'll forgive him for his stupidity. After all love makes you do the wacky.

He is so in the doghouse with Will since she loves the guy. The poor girl. But thanks to Giles all is back to normal. He's pretty good with the magic stuff. I'm so glad that I'm no longer a rat. I'm still craving cheese though but that's nothing a pizza won't cure. So I'll let my fingers do the walking because I need fuel.

I know what I'll do I'll invite Will and Xand over to help them make up. Xander did have good intentions I suppose but why Cordelia I'll never know. Talk about opposites that attract. OK I guess I shouldn't say anything since I did fall in love with a vampire and I am the Slayer which makes that as opposite as you can get.

Entry Thirty-two

Dear Diary

Great Angel has an all access pass to my house. I hope Giles finds a spell to uninvite him. I'm really worried about mom since she's totally in the dark and I can't tell her about the slaying. Oh that would work out well. I can just picture it. I sit her down and say those four little words. Sure if I told her I'd get my own little padded room and have a brand new strait jacket to wear.

I'll just tell her to be careful. Nice and vague and sane sounding. This is such a nightmare. I fall in love and all Hell breaks loose. I can't let this get to me since I had no idea this would happen. The guy I was in love with is gone and I need to deal with that. I even have to deal with the idea that at some point I'll have to kill him.

Entry Thirty-three

Dear Diary

I can't believe it he killed her and oh God Giles. Just when they were working things out and Angel kills her. I know what I have to do. I have to kill Angel. I was angry at Jenny but she didn't deserve to die. In time I'm sure I would have been able to forgive her. I can't believe this is happening. Too bad this isn't a nightmare that I'm going to wake up from. I really hate evil. I guess in a way I can understand what Jenny did. I was pissed because she didn't warn me. Maybe all this pain and suffering could have been avoided.

Entry Thirty-four

Dear Diary

That flu really knocked me on my ass. I really hate hospitals. They are dens of death. At least I got that ugly death guy that killed my cousin. So at least something good came out of my stay at that place. I'm still not a fan of hospitals. It's nice to get TLC treatment from my mom and hanging out with my buds. I'm just glad to be out of that place. I could totally picture Will playing doctor with Xander. That's my Will and I wouldn't have her any other way.

Entry Thirty-five

Dear Diary

What a night first a cute guy asks me out and next another guy tries to kill his girlfriend. I've had it with the entire male species. No dating for Buffy ever again. How fun I entered the Twilight Zone during history class. Let's do the time warp again since it seemed to be in the past but that chalkboard incident was beyond strange not to mention the locker monster going after Xander well it was really

a long arm that disappeared when I opened the locker again. I guess it's just another typical day living on the Hellmouth. Poor Giles thinking that Jenny is the boo. He is so desperate to contact her but I'm afraid he'll be disappointed not to mention hurt.

Entry Thirty-six

Dear Diary

That was too intense and pretty darn close to home. I suppose my own guilt over Jenny's death made me hate James when it was really me. My not feeling that I wasn't worthy of forgiveness got tangled into this mess. Me and James went through a similar sitch so that must be why he picked me but too bad it was too late for the others that were killed.

At least now James can rest in peace but the whole kissing Angel thing really threw me. For a second it was like nothing changed but the next it all came flooding back hitting me like a ton of bricks. I find it amazing that Grace was able to forgive him but I suppose we all need to be forgiven and I'm no exception.

Entry Thirty-seven

Dear Diary

Cameron is such a dick. OK I hit the guy in the nose but he deserved it after attacking me like that. Snyder is such a rodent. I'm made out to be the bad guy when he's the one that didn't know the meaning of no. What a baby his nose isn't even broken.

So a demon's on the loose eating humans. Yuck! No dating boys on any sport teams. Ok maybe I feel a little bad about what I said about Cameron since he was eaten after all. Oh great Angel paid a visit but at least Swim Boy Gage didn't get eaten. How odd that Angel spit out his blood. There must be something in it that's a big turnoff for vampires. Oh fun the Gage Watch continues.

Entry Thirty-eight

Dear Diary

The boys on the swim team are turning into sea-monsters. Oh joy! Wow Xander in those speedos was quite a surprise. So I'll be going fishing with Giles. I wonder what the guys are taking. They have a wicked side affect. The things people do to win. The coach was beyond psycho but in the end he was taken care of by the boys that he turned. At least the remaining guys from the swim team will be all right. Well karma paid him back in spades. Eaten by his own monster creations. I guess now they'll live out in the ocean with the other fishies.

Entry Thirty-nine

Dear Diary

I wish this past day was just a nightmare and that my alarm clock will start buzzing and I'll wake up with none of this badness that I'm engulfed in. I'm heading to LA. I just need to be alone right now and try to figure things out. I don't dare sleep since I know what my dreams will be about. Every time I close my eyes I see it as though it's happening all over again.

Well all of the gang are fine since I went to the school before I caught the bus. So typical of Will to be back in school so quickly. I'm just really glad that they're all right. I just can't face them right now. On a scale of 1 to 10 the past twenty-four hours have been a 1000. Mom knows I'm the Slayer and because I had to leave she kicked me out. I didn't have a choice and I hated seeing that look on her face but I had to do it.

Killing Angel had to be the hardest thing I've ever done and just after he got his soul back and was once again the man I loved. Will must have tried the spell again. I need to go to the bathroom before I burst into tears on this bus of strangers. I don't really like an audience. No one would notice but I do need some tissues. If only Calgon could take me away. I think that's the name of that bubble bath. Oh good the bathroom's clear.