Monthly Archives: November 2012

Go on do it
NOW!
Listen to the room
As I watch you move
Your senses are mine
This is a new groove
For the music of your mind
I’m hoping somewhere there I’ll find
That space where you to rewind
Jodeci’s Freek n You
Caress upon your cheek
Burns a fire beneath your sheet
And I haven’t even started yet
Soon you WILL be wet
Either smile
Get set
Closed eye love is going down
Come close around your neck space
Pulse is quick
Single lick
Make you pull your happy face
Strong hands around your back bring us skin-to-skin
Electric sin
Staring at the shade of cinnamon
Sugar sweet seasoning
Take the time to taste you all
Scrape the plate and ting

Single kiss around your navel
Tongue telling you a fable
Your legs part on their own cuz I’m willing and I’m able
Your hands want me lower still
Your eye peeks, naughty girl
Spank ya round the back, just like that
Finger and clit dance a twirl
Keep ya eyes closed
Don’t break the rules
Be cool
Tricks are for kids
And I’m about to go to school
Pitch up a tent and spend a nite in the bare forest of you
Fall asleep, wake up and do the same thing again with my tongue still inside you
Lay you down real slow
Me and you all alone
Naked naughty zone
Hip grinding to a song
That I’m singing from below
So…
Open your eyes
NOW
Look at my smile
Fresh with a coat of your liquid delight
Lined up to be nice
Your hands lead me inside
Foreplay feels right
Slow wine on time
And then…
“Oh no, I’m gonna come…”
“Already?”

I am there
There is where I’m gonna be
With you and me
There will be no mystery
I’m an addict
And I love to please
So before you feel to leave
Or take away what I need
Let me do what I do to feed
Me and your legs will be at peace
Chase your libido for a release
And we keep working between the sheets
Still I want to eat
You in the morning
In the evening
Afternoon in the park
When the sun goes down before dark
From an orgasm I’m never far
I’m Indiana Jones when I whip that shit
I teach lesbians about head
Cuz I’d spend all day
Trying to do that to you quick
Or slow
You choose
But its completely my way
My show
Understand not you may
But I’ve decided already
I wanna make you come
Make you sigh
Make you forget about the world, bout your bills, bout your life
By the time I’m done you will be sleeping sweetly tonight
Do it for a reason
Unbeknownst to you
Wish I could say so
But that would mean that I knew
Hunger strikes
Your the meal
Your phone rings
Silent still
Just let me do what the fuck I want and no one gets hurt.
Cuz I feel it
Down deep
Where your pleasure sleeps
Your moans are my gold
Liquid release
So sweet
Do it different from the others who before me precedes
As long as you can feed me
In ya soul is where you feel me
Pleasing you is a necessity…
Call me Jamie Oh-liver
A quick horny recipe…

There’s no lengthy intro or fancy words to describe what the hell this blog is about.

This is a simple, straight to the point question.

Who has to work the hardest when it comes to head; men or women?

This was a random thought I had when I was fighting through writer’s block and couldn’t string two words together.

I was thinking about oral sex, as per usual, and I could picture a man giving a woman some brilliant cunnilingus and then, on the other screen in my head, I could see a woman giving a man what can only be called the ‘Lethal’ treatment (shout out to Lethal Lipps with all that spit and shit).

And I thought, who has to work harder for the pleasure?

Is it women who have to measure up and work out how they’re gonna take the dick to the jaw or is it men, who have to analyze and formulate a plan of pussy attack before orgasms curl down their moustaches?

For me, this is an interesting question because when it comes to that goooooood intelligence (that’s slang for oral sex, just for you uneducated), you need to know what it is your partner likes.

You need to know HOW your partner likes.

You need to know what works best and what levels of best you should apply with your mouth.

You need to know what makes your partner’s chest rise and fall with no trouble at all.

But, when it comes to doing the damn thing with your lips and your tricks, it’s not as easy as it appears to be.

So, I’m gonna look at both sides and, at the end, come to a decision (pardon the pun) and say who has to work the hardest with their mouth for an orgasm. In my own opinion.

You may agree, you may disagree, you may be disgusted, you may lick your lips and suddenly feel in the mood to have your lower middle tickled just a little… let’s see…

So… let’s start with the ladies…

DO MY LADIES RUN THIS… nah, let’s not do that!

Ladies, let’s start with you.

When it comes to head, your quest for intelligence lies at the end of a blowjob.

The old dick in the mouth something.

When done right, it can be as good as actual intercourse and when done DAMN right, it can forgo the intercourse and make him buss and have to issue a “this has never happened before” type of apology.

But what about the giver of such knowledge? What about her battle to get her man to the happy place, which is either happy enough that he knows you’ve got skills, hard enough that he’s ready to fuck or wet and shrunk enough that he is laying there trying to catch his breath as an orgasm took him by surprise?

A woman will tell you that giving head isn’t as easy as they make it look. To us men, it looks like it’s as simple as bob, weave, dip, swirl, purse of the lips, lick, etc. but there’s a fair bit they have to take into account. Such as the size of the dick they’re about to conquer, the sensitivity, even the man himself is a factor.

Dicks are not easy to deal with. They grow, they shrink, sometimes they’ll blow before you know it.

But let’s start at the initial ‘suck’ part.

Not easy at ALL, especially if your one of those women with a small mouth and your facing a rather large dick before you.

If you have a generally medium-sized mouth and, in your sexual career, you’ve been known to deepthroat 8 inches with ease, you still have a lot to deal with. If you’re blessed with a disrespectful pair of full lips and the ability to deepthroat more length than he owns, you’ve still got a lot on your plate.

He could be a rough throat fucker, maybe he wants you to take it all the way down your throat and your only used to taking it up to your tonsils.

Maybe he likes his dick suck wetter than a beach towel in a tsunami and you can only muster up a battery-sized amount of spit.

Maybe he wants you to drop techniques only seen in porn, while your style is more Tulisa than Italia Blue.

Maybe he likes his balls licked and you think they look like weird meatballs and you don’t wanna do it.

And then there’s lockjaw… and that just sucks ass in general, no ladies?

There’s a lot to sucking a dick.

A lot of work, breathing techniques, wretch holding, hand twisting and multi-tasking involved and that’s before she has to deal with what to do with the orgasm once it arrives.

Does she swallow, does she not, does she take it to the face, does she take it on her breasts or does she bend the dick back and make him cum on himself?

It’s a big decision.

A big decision for a big moment.

Cuz dicks… they ain’t easy to take, orally that is.

But then, on the OTHER side of it, there’s the work that the men have to put in when it comes to cunnilingus.

The moment between a woman’s thighs.

For a man’s quest for supreme intelligence, he has to have his head game on a hundred, thousand, trillion as Kanye would say.

When it comes to giving a woman head, there is a LOT a man has to take into account. It’s not just about opening her legs and putting your mouth where you see a button.

She may not necessarily like her button dealt with in that way.

Maybe she wants her pussy fucked with a tongue.

Maybe she likes fingers added with a particular degree of moisture.

Maybe she wants single laps up and down with her lips held open.

Maybe she wants to hold your head and direct you.

Maybe she likes being able to face fuck you while calling you a ‘dirty fucker’.

Maybe she wants to do all those things and more… but, you have to be ready. And you have to be adaptable.

You have to be able to react and listen to her, respond to what she likes, repeat the thing that made her back arch and be willing to search for more.

And also fight off the lockjaw AGAIN.

(Head ain’t head until someone gets lockjaw!)

Then you have to make her cum. Now if you’ve decided to go down on a woman then you HAVE to make her cum from it.

That’s the unwritten rule!

You don’t go to Costco and leave with a plastic bag of items, you leave with boxes. As many as you can take!

With so many zones of enjoyment in and around the vagina, you have to learn, and learn quick, what she likes to the point that her hips rise and fall because it’s started to feel that good. When you find it and you work it, you could be there for seconds or double figure minutes.

That’s the roll of the dice that comes with cunnilingus.

Now, in my opinion, who has to work the hardest for that SUPREME intelligence?

No disrespect to women and the work they have to put in when it comes to slurping and burping on a man’s Melvin but you have it easy in comparison to men.

And I’ll tell you why.

Women, you have one straight, up standing piece of work ahead of you, and two small assignments hanging below. Because of the shape of the upstanding piece of work and the two small assignments, you don’t have to venture far away from a repetitive movement on any of the three.

You know any part of his dick you touch with your mouth is generally gonna make him feel like its all good in the hood.

Working your mouth in a sweet, delicious way will be the medicine for his sickness.

Sucking the head with a bit of a slurp sound will make him harder than he ever thought possible.

A deepthroat all the way to the base of him will make his dick venture past your mouth and into your throat, and that’s a whole different type of feeling.

Maybe a bit of a gag sound, maybe a whole LOT of a gag sound could help.

Add saliva from a wet mouth and the inclusion of hands and ladies, you LITERALLY have men by the balls.

You know you’ve got that easy work when you blow him for five minutes or less and he’s blowing harder than Chinese math.

That’s that woman who found a way to give maximum pleasure with minimal effort.

Not knocking ya at all.

In fact GOD BLESS YA!

But you DO have it easier.

Men? *sigh*

We DO have a task on our hands sometimes, don’t we?

That lockjaw kicks in like a muuug and you have to find an adaptive style that helps rest ya jaw but keep the pleasure coming.

It takes a hot minute to find that EXACT move or combination of moves that makes it feel the way it should.

Unlike the phallus of man, woman is built with a sugar-walled reception area, equipped with a button that likes to be pressed but only a certain way. Inside this reception area are lovely walls lean on and touch and, if you have the tongue length, you reach the place deep inside the reception room that only most dicks reach.

If you work it wrong, it can instantly close up and monkey wrench anything further between you. You know what I mean when she has to reach down and show you how it should be done. And not showing you in the sexy way either. I mean that annoyed way where you can damn near hear her huffing and puffing in frustration cuz you’re just not getting it. And that never feels good.

Of course it bruises the ego!

We’re men, and we’re proud and we think that if we are eating your pussy, we have the skill and the ingenuity to work around until we enter the right combinations to unlock an orgasm.

She may like it this way…

That way…

Front ways…

Back ways…

Softly…

Nibbled just a lil bit…

Licked hard…

Feather like touches just over the hood of her clit…

She may need that bullet motion where you keep as much pressure on her clit with your tongue as possible… then hum.

Maybe she likes her clit enveloped between two fingers while gripping a nipple, tonguing her pussy jussssssst inside and to the right while humming The Cosby Show theme tune.

Or the classic straight fuck the pussy with your tongue and try and get it in as far as you can!

Who knows, the possibilities are endless.

As much work as it CAN be to find the right grooves for the song, its still a pleasurable experience and, when done right, can be enjoyed more by the eater than the plate of food writhing in ecstasy.

There is nothing more GRRRRRRRREAAAT than making a woman cum using your mouth. Then have her look down at you like, “well where the hell did THAT come from?”

Maybe you get the audio, moaning, shuddering then breathing heavy version but the message is the same.

Really, it doesn’t matter how hard either sex works when it comes to delivering that supreme intelligence, as long as they are willing to put in whatever work is necessary to get the job done. Whether that job is simply pleasing, warming up for something else, cumming or just to fill the time, put that work in.

Represent with your mouth and supply that SUPREME INTELLIGENCE!

BUT…

I did also hear bisexual women apparently give THE best head so maybe that just negates my whole blog…

She liked to sleep a lot.
So did he.
When she wasn’t working she was sleeping.
When she wasn’t sleeping, she was single.
When she was single, she was masturbating.

Whenever she was asleep, he always managed to catch some Zs.
He liked to listen to her sleep.
She didn’t mind.
She never really took notice of him.

But he did of her.
All the time.
He always listened to her.
He could tell the difference between her waking up in the middle of the night to put the heating on walk and her I need to pee, quick step.
He’d lay on his side with his back to her and listen as she would play with herself.
The sound and feel of the mattress as it creaked with her self-pleasure.
They never interacted.
That was exactly how he liked it.
They were like ships at sea.
When she would get up, shower and go to work, he’d get up and stretch his legs.
Make a sandwich, a coffee and hot chocolate and watch Loose Women in his birthday suit.

Boredom would make him reach for her computer and masturbate to the porn she “hid” on her computer.
Semi-boredom would make him go into her dirty clothes hamper, wrap her worn panties around his dick and jerk a 15 minute nut.
They were just not on the same page.
He knew she would never understand about him so he decided not to share the nasty things he really wanted to do.

The best way to exercise his fantasies was when she was asleep.
Lay down watching porn on his phone, waiting until she fell asleep, he’d roll over and softly caress her skin.
Watch her face, her eyes flicker during a dream, goodsebumps rise on her skin in the cold.
He couldn’t help slowly lifting the covers off her skin and staring at her ass while she slept.
He loved to watch her best when she lay on her stomach with one leg straight and one leg bent.

That Chenice… that deliciously sexy Chenice.
Sleeping.
He’d brush her hair away from her face, inhale her breath as she breathed, play with her nipples like he was moving his thumb on a Playstation controller.
Chenice liked that.
She inhaled and exhaled with a pleasureable moan.
He lived for those moments when she would lay on her back during the summer, kick the covers off and spread her legs.
He loved those positions so much he’d wake up, dip between her legs then softly lick her pussy through her panties.
Using the light of his phone, he’d enjoy watching the wet patch his tongue would make on her panties.
If he did it right, Chenice would raise her hips to him in her sleep while parting her thighs more.
If he was really lucky, she’d turn over onto her front and he’d get the opportunity to part her cheeks.
He’d loved when that happened.
That was the moment he’d get to lick her asshole, which was his thang to do. He knew she didn’t like it when she was awake but he did. And he needed his needs met.
Taking two fingers and sliding them between her legs then using the scent to masturbate to.
He loved the smell.
It was so delicious to his senses.
His dick would get hard every time.

Listening to her masturbate by herself, hearing her talk dirty to herself as she fought NOT to come to prolong the orgasm for longer than three minutes.
He could hear her squeeze three fingers and sloosh inside her pussy.
The sound of Chenice squeezing her nipples came in a squeak.
He was there when she squirted for the first time.
And the second time.
He came with her when she did it the third time.
He masturbated and stuck a finger in his ass when she did it the fourth time.
He was asleep when she did it the fifth time.
The sixth time she squirted, he recorded the audio on his phone and listened to it when she was at work.
He made the sound his ringtone the seventh time she squirted.
He almost freaked out when she squirted the eighth time and broke the bed.
She screamed for God when she did it the ninth time.
And he moaned out loud when she squirted the tenth time.

Her right butt cheek was his favourite thing to play with though.
Meaty, perfectly rotund and with the most spot-on piece of cuppage he’d ever seen on a booty.
Once or twice, he got so into rubbing his dick between her ass cheeks, he bent down and bit her. She awoke suddenly and he had to return to his side of the bed and act like he was asleep.
He’d listen to her fall asleep before spitting on the end of his dick and grinding his dick between her cheeks until he came.
Chenice hated getting cum on her skin so he’d cum into his hands, then clean it up with tissues he always kept nearby.

He’d give her a soft nibble.
A light tap.
A pinch.
He couldn’t help it.
He almost got caught once or twice.
He didn’t care, he’d been doing it for so long.

Chenice didn’t care.
She didn’t know he was there.

She was a heavy sleeper and was so used to living alone, she didn’t notice the man sleeping under her bed.
She didn’t notice the pillows that were flipped over and smelled of man when she went to work and came home.
She didn’t notice the sweaty ass patch on her sofa from the man masturbating in front of her wide screen TV.
She never noticed the cutlery he used and washed while she was away at work when he needed something to eat.

Chenice was a deep sleeper so she didn’t wake up when he licked her so softly over her panties once that he made her cum in her sleep. She woke up moments later breathing as if she woke up from a wet dream. During that moment, her hips were rising and falling in her sleep as she called out for someone called Darryl.

He didn’t know who this Darryl was but he knew he wasn’t here to please her.
But he was.
He was ALWAYS gonna be there.

As long as she didn’t know he was there, the more he’d be there.
For her.