It took several years of skepticism, misunderstanding, and denial before I really opened up to having a good food truck experience.

Is that weird?

I guess I just didn’t understand what was so great about them. I had only seen trucks like BRGR, Franktuary, Nakama, Dozen (RIP), etc; well-established restaurants that just happened to be in a different location for a day. “Like, okay, wow. I can get a milkshake in Bloomfield. Woooooow”.

There are few things finer than a well-executed macaroni and cheese. The noodles need to be soft, but not watery. The cheese needs to be smooth and velvety, but not “pasteurized food product”. And seasonings or additions are very dangerous, but can make or break the whole mac pile.

They use nice, thick, textured (I think) elbow macaroni along with the best cheese sauce I think I’ve ever tasted in my life. It’s bold and flavorful without being too rich. It’s what Velveeta wishes it was. Hence the name, I’m sure, Mac & GOLD. I get it!

The fries are done up rull good – meaning, of course, that they are nice and crispy, with that little bit of browning on the edges.

They have lots of amazing-sounding add-ins, such as lump crab, mushroom, braised beef, and lobster. But I’m not one to mess with perfection. Though I might add some Sriracha if I’m feeling a little spicy.

(same as above, zoomed out to show hot sauce & scale)

I’ve tracked down Mac & Gold in a few different spots – most recently on a 15F degree day on Penn Ave. in the Strip district – but the photos in this entry are exclusively from Coffee Buddha; a delightful hangout on Perry Highway in the North Hills that hosts a cavalcade of food trucks every week.

We saddled up to the cozy bar next to the register and ordered some iced coffees. The gentleman served us some cold brews in mason jars – DAMN YOU MASON JARS, THE CUTEST WEAKNESS!

The coffee was exquisite, even after I doused it in half & half. It was also reasonably priced, but my husband paid so I don’t remember how much it was. WOOPSIE.

So in summation:

Mac & Gold + Coffee Buddha (especially together, but even on their own) = 10/10 RATING ON THE SCALE OF ALL THINGS SACRED TO ME. Congratulations, everybody.

Wow, it’s been almost three years since our last post? Ridiculous. It probably didn’t help that our last article was ominously focused on hospital food.

But you can breathe a sigh of relief, folks, because yours truly is alive, kickin’, and eatin’ all types of crap!

People tend to bring up a restaurant they’d like to try with a tacked-on “I’ve heard good things” type of comment. This was the case when a good friend suggested we try brunch at the Round Corner Cantina.

Over the last 8 or 9 years, I’ve had a handful of good times at the Cantina, especially on those beautiful spring days when the patio is open and the suburban brigade hasn’t entirely emerged from their hell holes. That being said, it can get pretty bro-ish in there. But regardless, I saw a few pictures of the Cantina’s brunch on their Facebook and decided it would be worth a shot.

Ahhhh, brunch. A wise man once said “It’s not quite breakfast, it’s not quite lunch; but you get a slice of cantaloupe at the end”. At the Round Corner Cantina, I would say it’s equal parts breakfast and lunch, and you get a litany of delicious booze at the end.

Or the beginning. Or consistently throughout the meal.

Bloody Maria, $4

The Cantina has lots of breakfast booze to choose from, including La Prima coffee, tall cans of Tecate, Micheladas; but I went with the Bloody Maria – just like a Mary, but with tequila instead of vodka.

The interior at the Cantina has been renovated a bit with new wallpaper, paint, and the appropriate amount of dim mood lighting.

The beans and rice should be a meal by themselves. Serve up a cereal-sized bowl of each and I’d be in heaven.

Everything on the plate tasted supremely fresh and legit – no killer, no filler. I’m pretty sure the tortillas are made in-house, possibly day-of. Fresh, soft, and flavorful. Like, perfect.

I don’t even like tomatoes, but the ones they used were like sweet little pops of savory goodness, and every topping worked in with the eggs made sense. Top them all with a little salsa, and you’ve got yourself one of Pittsburgh’s best brunches.

YEP. WENT THERE.

We ended up going back to the Cantina two more times – three weekends in a row – because of the commanding quality of their entire brunch thing. BUTTTTT, nobody’s perfect.

Unfortunately, and we’re not sure why, but the Cantina can’t seem to get it 100% right when it comes to service – and this is by no means any judgement on any particular wait staff. Every server, bartender, or back-of-house person has been great each time we’ve gone. But there are mistakes. We’ve ordered a few drinks that never came, same with some chips and dip that never made their way out of the kitchen. And a breakfast burrito that left a bit to be desired, according to our friendly friend:

Brunch Burrito, $10 (made “wet”, +$3)

The menu says the burrito will come with carne asada, eggs, salsa, beans, and poblano potatoes. Our friend said, “You know how sometimes when you’re eatin’ a burrito, the filling isn’t mixed well, so you have to keep eating until you find all of them? I kept eating, but they weren’t there!”. Her burrito only had the steak and beans – nothin’ else. Still yummy, but also a big bummer.

As long as you’re willing to encounter some minor mishaps, I can safely say that brunch at the Cantina beats out any $14-$20 brunch buffet. I don’t care. Sue me, Lawrenceville!

Last Wednesday night, my boyfriend and I were completely stumped as to what to make for dinner. He wanted pizza, and I hadn’t eaten in three days. Then we remembered this hot little spot, right on Liberty Avenue. We had never been, but heard good things.

Morphine IV – An exotic delight!

The courteous wait staff had us seated in a room within minutes! I never expected such prompt service. It didn’t take long for them to administer some liquids. Jon had a Mountain Dew, and I had a Morphine IV. Maybe my expectations were a bit high, but the morphine left me dizzy and in lots of pain…ew! Our waiter said this was highly uncommon, and brought me several more drinks to try, including a “GI Cocktail”; liquid antacid, vicous lidocane, and an anticholinergic. The waiter (who insisted I call him”doctor”, whatever) said I should drink it like a shot – which I did – and it was NASTY. Do people really order this stuff??? It was like jager, but didn’t make me blackout.

Okay, actually, it was exactly like jager.

The staff couldn’t understand why I didn’t like the drinks, so they decided to move us to our own private suite on the eighth floor; ooh, la la! I guess it was kind of a hotel/restaurant, and my complaining entitled me to a two night, three day stay!

They brought out the first course, and unfortunately I was too wasted to take a picture of it. But it consisted of a shot of cranberry cocktail, a soggy/burnt english muffin, and some other stuff. I took a few bites of the english muffin, but felt too sick to finish anything. Jon had enough already and stormed out, so I was dining alone. How embarrassing.

My waiter must have ended his shift. Didn’t get a chance to tip him out. Oh well. My new waitress was nice, and asked what I’d like for my next course – lunch. She listed off their mainstays: ham sandwich, turkey sandwich, tuna salad sandwich, chicken sandwich. I said “Anything without meat?”.

“We could make you a grilled cheese?”.

“Perfect,” I said, before falling back asleep. Hours later, I woke up to this:

Grilled cheese, soup, ginger ale – $$$?

My grilled cheese was excellent. Buttery, but not real-buttery. I mean, it was very buttery, but it wasn’t real butter. I think it was that Promise stuff. Somebody fried it up nicely, though the bread was stale. The tomato soup was honestly the best thing I ate the entire time I was there. Didn’t mix well with the ginger ale, though. My tummy felt upset, but I reluctantly put in my order for dinner. At this point, the Maitre d’ had explicitly suggested I not eat anything that would give me heartburn. Obviously, that message hadn’t reached the kitchen. After a few more hours of tv, sweating, and pain, it was dinner time.

They called it “French Bread Pizza”. It smelled like “French Dead Pizza”. I took one bite and tossed it out. But to be fair, I didn’t really have much of an appetite left. I did try to eat the salad, without the dressing, and got most of it down. I don’t really think it’s fair to call lettuce and carrots a “salad”, or even a “tossed salad”. Dessert, the orange sherbet, was half melted and tasted like styrofoam. After this atrocious meal, Jon came back, dismayed that I was still THERE, and smuggled in some Sun Chips and a PB & J for me. I’ve never had to actually smuggle food into a restaurant before. It gives you an idea of just how nasty the food was! It was almost as if it wasn’t really a restaurant at all!

It felt like I had been there for days, and they ended up bringing me another breakfast. More soggy english muffins. I didn’t even look at the tray. The wait staff had had it with me, and they decided to let me try their specialty; “The Liquid Diet”.

How visually appealing! Everything was great about this meal, except the beef broth, which I guess nobody realized is non-vegetarian. I love how it looks like a big black hole in this picture. That’s what it smelled like, too. If black holes had a smell.

The Jell-O was the best thing I had tasted in years, or what felt like years. Coincidentally, it was the only thing I could really keep down. The italian ice had its pros and cons. Pros: cold, not-solid, didn’t taste like styrofoam. Cons: Melted, not-orange flavor, tasted like plastic.

A liquid lunch and a liquid dinner will do wonders for an upset tummy, and for a weary hotel/restaurateur like myself. I hit the hay (by the way, the beds – UGH!) and woke up to a bountiful breakfast which I was, again, too lazy to photograph. It consisted of French Toast (grilled cheese without the cheese) and Special K, with lots and lots of cranberry juice cocktail to drink. It tasted terrible. I devoured it anyway. At this point, I think I just wanted my money’s worth.

It wasn’t long before they presented me with my third and final lunch — the coup de grace:

AHHH A SALAD!! – $$$??

This masterpiece also came with tomato soup and french fries. I wiped my eyes in disbelief before taking a bite.

“Yep, that’s a real cucumber!”. To hell with freshness. This was the first thing I ate there that wasn’t brown or red. Finally, my appetite was back. I went a little overboard.

To hell with it.

As you can clearly see, I ruined the salad by taking out the onions and tomatoes, and adding ranch dressing and french fries. Whatever. I finally got to leave.

West Penn Hospital is a TERRIBLE restaurant, but it had its advantages:

Mostly-friendly wait staff

I felt weirdly healthier after leaving

The view was nice

The end!

I give West Penn Hospital a 4/10 rating for food, and a 10/10rating for not killing me.

Your favorite food critic is BACK IN BUSINESS, BABY! Let’s not dwell on the past. Let’s also not dwell on the Activia yogurt I just had for breakfast. Bifidus Regularis – ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Today, I want to talk about one of my favorite go-to breakfast spots. It’s been a long time coming, Mama Ros’s Sandwich Shop, and I’m sorry I didn’t make this post sooner.

Image courtesy of “Bloomfield Sandwich Shop” Facebook

This is how a lot of people think of the Sandwich Shop. A shining beacon in the dark streets of Bloomfield. A safe harbor for those lost, wayward drunkards. When 2:00am has come and gone, and you just need a place to go because you don’t have an “in” at the after-hours bar. When they say “you don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here”, they’re telling you to go to Mama Ros’s Sandwich Shop.

But the older I get, the later I ain’t. I’m much more likely to get to Mama Ros’s when it looks a little more like this.

Image courtesy of “Bloomfield Sandwich Shop” Facebook

Okay, it’s actually much brighter when I get there at 1:00pm. The sun is usually blazing, which makes it feel like it might actually still be morning, so I feel a little bit better about having breakfast food. Plus, the daytime is the only time when you can actually get your food cooked by Mama herself. It makes a big difference.

Image courtesy of “Bloomfield Sandwich Shop” Facebook

I was just at the Sandwich Shop last weekend, but the photo I took of my breakfast didn’t turn out so good. Luckily, I found THIS awesome picture, which just so happens to be what I typically order. Silver dollar pancakes ($2.75), and 2 eggs over-easy with hashbrowns and toasties ($3.25 I think?). Mmmmmmmm MMMMM. Let me tell ya bout my hash browns.

Have you ever tried to make your own hash browns? Didn’t turn out so good, did they? Maybe they did – but they didn’t when I tried it. Apparently they take time and patience to prepare correctly. I don’t know what either of those things are, but I do know that Ros makes some damn good hash browns. Sometimes they can be a little extra greasy…but hey! It’s a greasy spoon!

Mama Ros also makes perfect over-easy eggs, and their toast protocol is better than ever. When I first started going to the shop, they’d bring your toast out way too early; almost as if it was an appetizer. But if you held out until your eggs were ready, the toast was too cold for dippin’! Thankfully, they’ve righted this wrong, and bring the toast out at a reasonable interval.

And those silver dollar pancakes are just exquisite. Mama really knows her breakfasts. But the night folks have a few tricks up their sleeves! (Not many of them wear anything with sleeves, but you get the idea).

Image courtesy of “Bloomfield Sandwich Shop” Facebook

The shop is pretty much Bloomfield’s only option for late-night munchin’, which makes NO sense to me. But hey, I’m fine with this monopoly. Being the only game in town has conditioned the sandwich shoppers well. Their night time food is excellent, even if you’re sober. I usually get the veggie burger and fries – you might want to remind them to cook the fries “well done” if they’re really busy.

The first time I got the veggie burger, I actually had to ask “Are you sure this isn’t meat?”. Ros laughed and said “Nobody believes they’re veggie burgers!! I swear they are!”. She explained that they buy their veggie patties from…I think Costco? And they’re pretty pricey. She feels bad charging $5.75 for em. I say, “It’s cheaper than a McDonald’s combo meal!”. And it’s actually REAL FOOD!

To you, oh sweet shop, I give an overall rating of 9/10. You only get a “10” if you start putting ice in my water.

I tried to be a vegetarian in high school more than a few times. But soft pretzels and nachos, though meatless, apparently aren’t the things you should be eating on a vegetarian diet. Officially entering my “late twenties”, I felt up to the challenge to really focus on the things I put in my belly. At midnight on New Year’s, I put down the pigs-in-a-blanket and picked up…well, a glass of punch. Everything else had meat in it. My goal: to widen the spectrum of my dietary intake. Try new things. And you know what I did yesterday?

I ate a tomato.

Not just one tomato. I ate every cherry tomato in my side salad. I have never willfully eaten a tomato of any kind. They were delicious.

But I have some leftover entries, pre-veg, that I’d like to share with you – including this one!

Bertha’s Buffalo Chicken – $8.50

Deadheads will appreciate the menu, which is full of song and band references. But unlike the song says, you may actually want this Bertha to come around more often. WINK. I’M TALKING ABOUT THE SANDWICH.

The chicken is absolutely doused in buffalo sauce, which I can only imagine is hot sauce and butter. I always liked this sub because the chicken was in little bite-sized chunks, and always tasted fresh – their ingredients are all superb. Although the sandwich pictured above wasn’t the freshest I’ve ever had, it was the only one that wasn’t supa-phresh.

The chicken is the meat of the sandwich, literally and figuratively. But the fixins are what really make it outstanding. It comes with red onions, but who needs those? I’m still not a big onion fan. So I suggest leaving them off. You’re left with a heaping, very generous layer of blue cheese crumbles and a “drizzle” of ranch, as they claim on the menu. If you’re lucky, the cap of the ranch bottle will pop off while they’re “drizzling” your sub, and you’ll get a massive puddle of it like I did. The ranch really makes the sandwich. Don’t be afraid to slather is on there. After all, you’re already eating a fucking huge sandwich – what’s an extra 150 ranch calories?

You know that Subway smell? “Oh man, I smell bread and dishwater. Mmmmmmmmfivedollarfootlongs.”

Subway is a joke. Their meat is awful. Their bread sucks. All of the Grateful Deli’s subs come on warm, toasty, soft bread. The warm bread gets your sub all melty, and the end result is deliciousness. Get extra napkins.

So there you have it. If you eat meat, go get a Bertha. If you’re a vegetarian like me, go buy some Morningstar Chik N’ Patties. I haven’t perfected an imitation Bertha yet, but I’m working on it.

Wow! It’s been awhile since I last reviewed a restaurant, hasn’t it? Let’s cut right to the delicious, meaty content. Today was pay day for me. It’s also 63 degrees. These delightful facts led me to want a little bit more out of my lunch break today. My faithful coworker and I set out on a quest for salmon, which brought us to a place I’ve been curious about for a while – Penn Avenue Fish Company. Only it’s not on Penn Avenue.

They DO have a location on Penn Ave. in the Strip District. By the looks of their website, that location is much bigger than the one I went to on Forbes. Let me make it clear – they only serve fish. That said, assuming you like fish, it’s great! They have a huge variety of fresh fish sandwiches (tuna, swordfish, salmon, etc), sushi and cool-sounding soups to tease your appetite. Being a 25-year-old, self-proclaimed “aLtErNaTiVe” person, I totally love sushi, BUT I wanted salmon today, so I got the Energy Lunch – grilled salmon served on a bed of the following: spicy ginger carrot salad, green bean salad and apple cider vinaigrette.

Energy Lunch, $10.99

I’ve never been asked how I would like my fish cooked – that was weird. But I went with medium-well and crossed my fingers. Luckily, I made the right choice! The salmon was grilled perfectly. I’m not sure what the green sauce was, but it was super yummy. Did I mention the salmon was absolutely perfect? BECAUSE IT WAS!

The salads underneath were both pretty tasty, but I was a little sad that they were ice cold. The spicy ginger carrot salad was good, but not really spicy at all – and I’m really sensitive to spiciness. Still very good though.

Did I feel more energized after my meal? Certainly!

Are there sexy men preparing sushi there? Definitely. Yes. Oh my.

Will I start going here once a week? Probably.

For the price (a little steep for everyday-lunching), the atmosphere (relaxed but with a twinge of class) and the taste (mmmmm) I’m doling out a whopping 8.5/10 for Penn Ave Fish Co.