“Sorry, Chap–I Missed That Last Bit–Something About Drinking, I Think. And Did I Tell You About My License To Kill? Yeah, They Just Let Me Shoot Whomever I Please. It’s Great–I Don’t Even Have To Give A Reason. But Please–Do Go On.”

Why We Cry on Planes~ Because we–and here I mean me–are fucking terrified. Also uncomfortable. Seriously, can they design passenger class to accommodate the 5’8″-and-over crowd? And loosen up on the pot thing, of course.

What Julia Gillard did for Australia and sexism ~ Although Ms. Gillard has suffered a setback, her greatest legacy may have been to pound the final nail in the coffin of sexism. As she walks off into the sunset, political observers everywhere will no doubt take a moment or two to appreciate her cute little backside.

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18 thoughts on “Headlines: Shaking And Stirred”

“TIME is just People Magazine with a world leader on the cover.”
Great line and so true.
Perhaps my favorite was the sweet little kitty in the KFC bucket.
It’s probably just me but every time I hear of KFC buckets my mind turns to Buckethead.

It’s nice to be reminded of Buckethead. he’s one of those rare instances where gimmickry and talent intersect. TIME is what you read in the dentist’s office when you want to be distracted from thoughts of your upcoming root canal, but don’t want to be made to think too hard.

“TIME is just People Magazine with a world leader on the cover.”—I loved that one. Looks like I’m not the only one.

There was recently an article in the paper about how James Bond would actually be a severe alcoholic if he drank as much as they depict him drinking. And, of course, his nose would not be nearly so pretty. It’d be all red and bulbous from years of the hooch.

James Bond is a wonderful character–lots of fun. However, were he a real dude, he would be rife with demons. Sure, he’s an alcoholic, but he’s also a serial killer. Then, there’s his relationships with women…

You’re so kind! There are some hot-button topics that will always set people off, no matter how gentle the joke. I do wince a little at some of the truly meaner ones (the God doesn’t care about Italians joke springs to mind), but most of them are intended with a light heart.

Thank you Promethean Times, because of you I don’t have to waste a second of my time actually reading any of the above articles, and yet still feel perfectly capable of commenting on them with smug authority.

By the way, that top picture nearly made me spew coffee. Any parent who would dress their kid up like that must have a great sense of humor. I mean, any parent who would do it as a joke, not those who do it, you know, for real….

I think so much matters in intent. Lately people have been freaking out about the use of traditional cultural apparel in American Halloween costumes. If you’re making fun of it, okay–that’s offensive. But if I think Bedouins, the Apache or Hmong villagers are cool, and I want to dress up like them for Halloween, then people should just get the fuck over it.