Talk

Late Laughs for the week of August 12 - 18, 2018

Conan

This is our fourth year at Comic-Con. That's right, I've been coming to Comic-Con for four years. Or, to put that in terms everyone at Comic-Con understands, "17 Spider-Man movies."

You know what I like about San Diego? With all that's going on in America, it's comforting to know it would only take 15 minutes to drive to another country.

Tickets to this year's Comic-con sold out in about an hour. The last time something sold out that fast, it was Donald Trump in Helsinki.

I met a lot of interesting people today. I met people that can understand Vulcan, Dothraki and Elvish. And get this: I even met someone who can understand the plot of Westworld.

A lot to see here at Comic-Con. In Hall H, they're displaying a replica of the Millennium Falcon cockpit used in the Star Wars movie "Solo." The cockpit seats two, just like the movie theaters that showed "Solo."

Here in San Diego's Balboa Park, a group of Star Wars fans scheduled a lightsaber battle. As always, there were no winners.

Hello, I'm Conan O'Brien. Or, as I'm known at Comic-Con, Thanos in the streets, and the Tick in the sheets.​

It's my fourth year here in San Diego for Comic-Con, and I'm really getting to know the city. Fun fact: San Diego is an ancient Spanish phrase meaning "Land of Chubby Batmans."

This year, Superman turns 80 years old. You can tell Superman is 80 because now he just sits alone in the Fortress of Solitude watching Fox News.

I love Comic-Con, but the lines are crazy long. One cosplayer ended up waiting so long for the men's room, he had to rename himself "The Incontinent Hulk."​

The new trailer for the DC movie "Titans" was just released. In it, a group of teenage superheroes fight off their arch nemesis: Kevin Spacey.

Of course, there's always controversy at Comic-Con. The new version of the animated character She-Ra was released this week, and a group of male fans are complaining that she's not "sexy" enough. They said, "She doesn't stack up to the women we already don't date."

This is our fourth year here at Comic-Con. Yes, this is No. 4, so if you count them like Star Wars episodes, this is our first good one.

This week, following Comic-Con is BronyCon, for fans of My Little Pony. Admission is $5 for kids and $10 for people who probably shouldn't be around kids.

The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon

A couple in Florida are getting married and instead of wedding presents, they've asked for money to buy goats. Even crazier, one couple they invited was like, "Finally, a chance to regift this goat."

This weekend, France won the World Cup, and they were led by a 19-year-old prodigy named Kylian Mbappe. After the game, Mbappe said winning the World Cup totally makes up for being named after a Hanson song.

The 12 boys who were rescued from a cave in Thailand last week are about to be released from the hospital. They said the first thing they want to eat is KFC. Then their doctor was like, "Dear God, haven't your bodies been through enough?"

Today, President Trump met with Russian President Vladimir Putin in Finland. Trump was pretty nervous, which makes sense, because most people are nervous when meeting their boss.

According to experts, Trump and Putin had a lot to negotiate in their meeting. Trump says the negotiations went great. Putin now controls New York and California, and in exchange, Trump got three magic beans.

Before he met Putin, Trump was in the U.K., where he met Queen Elizabeth. It got off to a bumpy start when the first thing Trump told the queen was that he knows all the words to "Bohemian Rhapsody."

Last night, Trump returned home from his trip to Finland. Trump walked into the White House and immediately texted Putin that he got home safe.

After Trump threw U.S. intelligence agencies under the bus in Finland, there were protesters outside the White House shouting, "Go back to Russia." But don't worry, the Secret Service was able to get Melania to quiet down.

Late Night With Seth Meyers

In honor of World Emoji Day, Apple has announced it is adding cupcake, kangaroo and lettuce symbols. A cupcake, a kangaroo and lettuce -- or as Outback Steakhouse calls it, "a salad."

According to a new study, men who drink four to seven servings of alcohol per week are more fertile than men who do not drink. They're calling this study, "Irish People."

Bruce Springsteen made a surprise appearance at Billy Joel's 100th show at Madison Square Garden last night. "Only in New York," said a guy getting robbed by a rat.

President Trump claims that he meant to say, "I don't see any reason why it wouldn't be Russia" who meddled in our election. And Melania is now saying that at their wedding she meant to say, "I don't."

According to Vanity Fair, White House chief of staff John Kelly was irate with President Trump's comments at his press conference with Vladimir Putin. OK, that's fair, but also, when isn't this guy irate? Every photo of John Kelly looks like he just found out this play has another 45 minutes.

According to a new poll, 73 per cent of Democrats want a "fresh face" to be their presidential nominee in 2020. Coincidentally, "fresh face" is what Stephen Miller had for dinner last night.

The White House announced today that President Trump plans to invite Russian President Vladimir Putin to Washington this fall, in what is sure to be the worst ever episode of "Undercover Boss."

According to Politico, it cost the federal government $250,000 per month last year to provide secret service protection for Eric and Donald Trump Jr. Well, if you wanna save some money in the future, just put the Tide Pods on a higher shelf.