1. “He’s got bugs in the head.”

Someone with “bugs in the head” is someone who’s messed up in the mind. The expression here is avoir des bibittes dans la tête, which means to be messed up in the head, but translates literally as to have bugs in one’s head. Our too-literally-translated-into-English example he’s got bugs in his head is said in French as y’a des bibittes dans’ tête, where y’a and dans’ are colloquial contractions: y’a comes from il a, and dans’ comes from dans la.

Y’a des bibittes dans’ tête.He’s messed up in the head.
Much too literally: “He’s got bugs in the head.”

2. “He’s in a real tabernacle.”

If you’re in a tabernacle — or better, in a real tabernacle — you’re royally pissed off. If we translate our too-literally-translated-into-English example back into French, we get y’est en beau tabarnak.Y’est en sounds like yé t’en, which is a contraction of il est en. The expression here is être en tabarnak, with its variation être en beau tabarnak, both of which mean to be pissed off.

Joking aside, make sure you learn the difference between tabernacle and tabarnak. Tabernacle (with an e in the middle and le on the end) means tabernacle, an item associated with Catholicism. Tabarnak (with an a in the middle and k [or c] on the end) is a swear word deriving from tabernacle. The Québécois never say tabernacle to swear (the swear words are tabarnak or tabarnac) and never refer to the tabernacle as a tabarnak!

So, although, the English above reads much too literally as he’s in a real tabernacle, the Québécois aren’t really saying the equivalent of tabernacle when they use this expression, but a vulgar variant of it.

3. “He put the music in the rug.”

If the music is on so loud that the floor practically shakes, you can say the music is “in the rug.” Mettre la musique dans le tapis means to put the music on full blast. If we translate our too-literally-translated-into-English example back into French, we get y’a mis la musique dans l’tapis. There’s y’a again, which we saw in number 1; it’s a colloquial contraction of il a.

Y’a mis la musique dans l’tapis.He put the music on full blast.
Much too literally: “He put the music in the rug.”

4. “Your dog is dead.”

If you no longer stand a chance at something, your dog’s snuffed it. That girl you wanted to go out with but who’s going out with someone new now (and it isn’t you)? Yeah, your dog’s dead. You can forget about it. If we translate our too-literally-translated-into-English example back into French, we get ton chien est mort. You can also say, depending on the context, mon chien est mort, son chien est mort, etc.

5. “He’s gonna get himself christed out.”

If you’ve just been christed out at work, you just got your ass fired. Crisser quelqu’un dehors, you’ll remember, means to kick someone the hell out, to fire someone’s ass, etc. We looked at the expression crisser dehors here recently. The verb crisser in this sense derives from Christ, so this verb is a swear word. If we translate our too-literally-translated-into-English example back into French, we get y va se faire crisser dehors, which means he’s gonna get his ass fired, he’s gonna get the fucking sack, etc. Y here is a colloquial pronunciation of il, which contracts to i’ in spoken language.

In all these examples, it’s important to note that crisser dehors doesn’t simply mean to throw (someone) out, to kick (someone) out. Remember, crisser is swearing, so it equates to something much stronger in English, like to throw (someone) the fuck out, to give (someone) the fucking sack, etc.

To get back to Lindsey’s question, you can’t say crisse dehors! to someone in the sense of fuck off!

Instead, you can use the verb décrisser, which has crisser as its root: