Old Wounds: Part Sixteen

Discussion (40) ¬

I am digging the side quest stuff, as I feel more related to Carlos as I had similar life experiences.

Brian,
Keep up the good work!

(PS picked up the Karthun off of Drive Thru RPG (*PLUG: AVAILABLE NOW!*) and I have already started incorporating some of the lore items into my D&D 5e game! Well written, great art (of course) a 5-STAR purchase!

Dude, Ease up… Brian will write the story how He wants… Gaming isn’t always about what happens at the table; current events, emotional stress and other out of game occurrences can create a different playing atmosphere.

i completely support you fleshing out and exploring the characters and their lives. as a gm myself, i know how irl struggles and life in general affect the group. Just wondering though, will we be seeing any actual gameplay anytime soon? im not rushing you, just genuinely curious

Maybe even some apprehension. He now has no excuse to not go home and deal with whatever he hoped to avoid tonight. I see guilt and apprehension. Something is going on. Trev’s usually a lot better about calling his shots, too. Normal Trevor would have picked up on Carlos being jittery as hell. I think something bad is going on. Well, worse than we are seeing.

I think the implication is that Trevor is apprehensive about dealing with something else – something gaming with his friends would allow him to get away from for a while.

And while I’m not exactly defending what Trevor did, I don’t think there’s any way he could have anticipated Carlos’s reaction. He (and everyone save Jeanie and maybe Brett) have no knowledge about Carlos’s past, so they can’t moderate their behavior to avoid triggering Carlos’s possible-PTSD.

I’m kind of getting that impression as well, that Trevor wanted to escape into some gaming, and he’s not only bummed that he hurt his friend and messed up the night for everyone, but that he’s got other worries.

Wait, is Trevor’s text alert literally his phone saying “Vibrate! Vibrate! Vibrate!” Because for some reason, I find that pretty funny.

Also, I hope that he and Carlos make up. I don’t want to minimize what just happened to Carlos, but Trevor is clearly beating himself up over it, and now he’s probably feeling guilty for ruining game night.

Can we maybe go back to dick-jokes for a bit? I need a chance to recover from this emotional roller-coaster.*

Okay, I’m gonna go out on a limb and ask why the hell everyone is hating on Trevor? Trevor…made a joke. Maybe not a good one, but if it had been directed at anyone but Poor Widdle Carlos, everyone would have laughed and joined in the silly reindeer games. Don’t believe me? Do an archive dive…

However, the dynamics of *this* arc appear to be that Carlos Needs Cuddling or something. I understand it isn’t my comic and so on, but I really hate when one character becomes Sacred. You can’t joke, you can’t tease, you can’t do *anything* but be oh-so-sensitive and understanding of whatever his particular flavor of damage is. Yeah, Carlos, no kidding you don’t have any friends…nobody can be around you without hurting your sensitive little feelings. “OMG! Triggered! Microaggression! Curl in a ball and cry!”

So it’s okay to give shit to women…Brett. Tease the blind guy about being blind. Bust on the gays. Any and everything is open, except…Carlos. I find this arc odd because so much of this comic has been about breaking down those walls of Us and Them. Gay, straight, male, female, blind, sighted, whatever little label society slaps on you, whatever your flavor of damage, around the table you’re just another Geek Like Me. Or Nerd, or whatever term. Just people having fun and coming together…acknowledging our `labels’ and realizing they don’t matter.

Trevor did *nothing* wrong! Nothing *every* single character hasn’t done repeatedly throughout the entire history of the strip. That, to me, is one of this strip’s best points: we’re not our labels, we’re not our `weaknesses’, we’re just gamers.

That last panel, to me, can and *should* speak of bitterness. Why is Carlos off-limits to a joke and why didn’t I get the memo sort of thing. After all the stuff *every* character has pulled, Trevor gets dumped on for a quip? Not like he screamed or shouted or frothed or leaped on Carlos to beat him with a DMG. Nope, a little quip, Brett being brain-froze and Santa…yeah, maybe we cancelled next Christmas! You know every other person there was wishing they’d come up with it first.

Sure, to *Carlos* his damage is huge and insurmountable and The Worst Thing EVAH! Pretty sure Charley, Sam, Trevor, and virtually everyone in the cast can match him in terms of Drama Trauma.

Now, I love the comic and steer as many friends toward it as possible; these quibbles are minor when balanced against the awesome archive and future. I *do* see this as not so much a mis-step as a minor stumble. It just seems a little…forced. Brian wants to tell Carlos’ story, and I’m all for that…it just seems a trifle contrived that one meaningless quip in *this* group blows up into such a huge dramafest.

If anyone should be pissed, it’s *Trevor*. He’s been a constant source of light-hearted snark and everyone is more than willing to join him at any given time. In this instance, they all abandon him to rally to Carlos’ side? Fair weather friends and mass doses of hypocrisy…

How hypocrisy? I bet if Trevor were *straight* nobody would think twice! Gay men just aren’t allowed to make jokes; if anyone *laughed* they might’ve caught The Gayz. Sure, make the gay dude the Bad Guy! Guess Trevor knows now that Black Lives Matter More Than Gay Lives…

Of course, *we* know different because this comic isn’t about that kind of polarization, it’s about discarding labels and finding friends. My `gripe’ such as it is, is that *none* of his friends stuck by Trevor, rolled their eyes and muttered, “Geez, Drama Queen much?” Nope, all of them are completely on Carlos’ side, leaving Trevor behind without a thought because OMG Carlos Haz The Sadz!

And that isn’t how this group usually operates. I’m pretty sure Brian just wants to tell Carlos’ story, but in my own personal opinion, the setup could have taken an extra strip or two. As it stands, this seems very sudden and out of left field…and Trevor is collateral damage.

Now, to be fair, I wouldn’t put it past Brian to make *that* a point he revisits in the future, having planned all this out.

But, yeah…a comic or two more buildup, maybe showing Trevor `crossing’ a line beyond one easily-accessible quip, or a friend staying back (other than Brett to whisper threateningly in his ear…which is much worse than what Trevor initially said to send Carlos off Into The Sadz). I’d love the arc to end with everyone coming back to the shop and there’s Trevor and Character X playing Yu Gi Oh or something, Trevor snarking about how *now* the Drama Train comes back when it’s too late to start a new campaign or game tonight…showing that Carlos’ Drama isn’t going to cause *Trevor* to change his Self in order to enable some other damaged soul. And why should it? Trevor has his own Issues…who gets to decide whose Issues and Trauma are more important?

As a side and closing note…this is one of the reasons I love this comic. It makes you ask those kind of questions.

“Maybe not a good one, but if it had been directed at anyone but Poor Widdle Carlos, everyone would have laughed and joined in the silly reindeer games. Don’t believe me? Do an archive dive…”

We believe you. Go back and archive dive yourself; nearly everyone’s looked like an asshole to the others in this comic at least once. The point is they own up to it and try to make things better.

“I understand it isn’t my comic and so on, but I really hate when one character becomes Sacred. You can’t joke, you can’t tease, you can’t do *anything* but be oh-so-sensitive and understanding of whatever his particular flavor of damage is. Yeah, Carlos, no kidding you don’t have any friends…nobody can be around you without hurting your sensitive little feelings. “OMG! Triggered! Microaggression! Curl in a ball and cry!””

You sound like every other person who thinks it’s witty and intelligent to try to marginalize people with mental illnesses because some people on Tumblr like to use buzzwords about them. Read: You sound the opposite of witty and intelligent.

“So it’s okay to give shit to women…Brett.”

Brett was an intensely unlikable character who literally had to become Santa Claus in order to start overcoming his plethora of negative character traits. The point of his character was he was ‘That Guy.’ You know the one. It’s probably usually you at your table. But he was so much ‘That Guy’ that he was unlikable by anyone who wasn’t also ‘That Guy.’

“Tease the blind guy about being blind.”

The blind guy was the first one to make jokes about his being blind. He has made it known he’s fine with friends ribbing him over it because he knows they care and it’s meant jokingly. Carlos is new to the group and barely knows anyone, and a misstep was made because Trevor tried to joke with him the same way the rest of the group jokes with each other without thinking Carlos wasn’t familiar enough with them yet to let it roll off.

“Bust on the gays.”
Again, Trevor knows these people well, and has made jokes about his homosexuality before. This is a table full of people who have gotten used to mocking each other as friends, who are introduced to a new person whose fear of being made fun of is more intense than they realized.

“Gay, straight, male, female, blind, sighted, whatever little label society slaps on you, whatever your flavor of damage, around the table you’re just another Geek Like Me. Or Nerd, or whatever term. Just people having fun and coming together…acknowledging our `labels’ and realizing they don’t matter.”

And if you go back and archive dive – like you were telling others to do – you will see that most of the time, learning that lesson was not an easy one. People have to make mistakes, mess up, look like assholes to each other, figure out they were wrong, and get over themselves. So far Steve is the only character in this who still smells like roses.

“Trevor did *nothing* wrong! Nothing *every* single character hasn’t done repeatedly throughout the entire history of the strip.”

Which is the entire point. They were among friends. They knew each other. Walk up to a random stranger and introduce yourself with ‘Hey hooker,’ or punch them on the arm and laugh, or tickle them. You can’t behave with someone you don’t know as a good friend the same way you behave with your friends. Trev slipped up – he was so used to the atmosphere at the table being one where everyone was comfortable enough with each other to make fun of their issues that he jumped the gun and behaved that way with Carlos despite not knowing him well enough for Carlos to understand it wasn’t meant to be hurtful.

It happens. Being new at a table means you have to learn to adjust to the atmosphere there and that takes time, especially if you have mental illnesses like anxiety issues.

“That last panel, to me, can and *should* speak of bitterness.”

It’s not bitterness. He’s upset. Trev hurt somebody without meaning to, ruined the night for everybody on accident and now has to face a night he thought he’d spend being happy and invested in a game, instead being alone.

“Why is Carlos off-limits to a joke and why didn’t I get the memo sort of thing. After all the stuff *every* character has pulled, Trevor gets dumped on for a quip?”

Because other characters knew it was okay when they did it… Except for Brett back when Brett was That Guy and a massive douchebag attacking the girl at the table and being sexist. Nobody would have blamed the girl at the table for slapping him and leaving – she didn’t know anyone there that well – but she wasn’t that kind of character. When someone said something to her she didn’t like, she fought back like a rabid badger and asserted herself aggressively.

Now we get to see the other side of that – someone who _does_ get upset and leave the table because they’re easily emotionally overwhelmed. Carlos doesn’t have to _stay_ that way any more than any of the other characters have stayed exactly as they were when they were introduced (Except Steve… Who is either gearing up to become a gigantic villain in disguise, or will continue to be the group’s moral center by example. And I imagine Carlos learning to accept the usual atmosphere at the table will be a part of his character development.

“If anyone should be pissed, it’s *Trevor*. He’s been a constant source of light-hearted snark and everyone is more than willing to join him at any given time. In this instance, they all abandon him to rally to Carlos’ side? Fair weather friends and mass doses of hypocrisy…

How hypocrisy? I bet if Trevor were *straight* nobody would think twice! Gay men just aren’t allowed to make jokes; if anyone *laughed* they might’ve caught The Gayz. Sure, make the gay dude the Bad Guy! Guess Trevor knows now that Black Lives Matter More Than Gay Lives…”

This… Literally makes no sense. You’re injecting an issue that isn’t there. Trevor said something mocking. It’s what goes on at this table. They make fun of each other. Trevor’s mistake was to assume that someone new to the table that none of them knows very well would be okay with this behavior aimed at him. He was clearly wrong, and he knew himself as soon as it slipped out that he’d said the wrong thing to the wrong person. Trev knows he made a mistake.

“My `gripe’ such as it is, is that *none* of his friends stuck by Trevor, rolled their eyes and muttered, “Geez, Drama Queen much?” Nope, all of them are completely on Carlos’ side, leaving Trevor behind without a thought because OMG Carlos Haz The Sadz!”

Because unlike you, they have the ability to recognize degrees of severity. Carlos has a mental illness. He left the building crying and very clearly in a bad frame of mind. Trevor made a mistake and his comments got him in deeper than he was used to. Everyone else left to go find Carlos because Carlos was in a situation where he could ACTUALLY GET HURT.

“And that isn’t how this group usually operates. I’m pretty sure Brian just wants to tell Carlos’ story, but in my own personal opinion, the setup could have taken an extra strip or two. As it stands, this seems very sudden and out of left field…and Trevor is collateral damage.”

No, Trevor made a mistake. He assumed a level of familiarity out of habit that was not there yet, and caused hurt feelings. This happens at tables. A lot. New people come in. The new people misread the atmosphere, or the old hands forget someone new is present and behave in ways that make the new people uncomfortable.

This is frankly one of the ‘realest’ moments in this comic. It’s the first time someone new has come to the table and actually not immediately fit in and found a niche and settled into the overall core behavior of the group. And that happens way more than it doesn’t happen.

Thanks for the lengthy reply, Red, but you miss a very salient point: Carlos is *not* a complete stranger to the group. He knows how the group rolls…pun slightly intended. His first time in charge, yes; his social anxiety likely magnified his sensitivity. I understand how and why he could feel driven to flee.

My opposition is that to all appearances, *everyone* chased after him, at the expense of Trevor. I’m sorry you didn’t get my hypocrisy statement; I probably could have explained it better. Gays face a lot of bias and conflict every single day, some of it very deliberate and crushing. Family and friends turning away, rejection on a scale we heteros can’t really comprehend. I *like* that Trevor was the Bad Guy, in a sense, because it illustrates the best aspect of the group: the gamers aren’t the labels society may slap on them. Trevor *can* screw up, gay or not…but the group he believes accepts him as he is, completely and without reservation…none of them show any hesitation about abandoning him in favor of Carlos. We don’t know a *lot* about Trevor’s history, but I feel safe is assuming he lost a few supposedly-close friends and maybe even family. Sure, we see him as confident and comfortable in his orientation…but mostly, I think, because in the eyes of the *group* he’s accepted. For them to abandon him?

And yes, you are correct in that we’ve all seen this play out in the real world in our own groups. Someone puts their foot in their mouth, someone else gets insulted or hurt and storms off. Newcomer or not, it happens on an almost regular basis. One or two chase after to talk them down, the rest of the group look at each other, “What’s *his* problem?” “Well, I’m gonna order pizza while the Drama Drizzles.” “Hey, anyone up for a game of Risk?”

I’d’ve bought into it completely if there was a strip or even panel illustrating that. Charlie and Brett in the background drinking soda, whatever. I consider that to be the case, but we weren’t *shown* it, and that’s my opposition. Maybe Brian figured that was obvious and didn’t need to be shown, maybe he didn’t think of it, but it wasn’t shown. We just see Trevor…alone.

So, for me, I’m more offended on Trevor’s behalf than I am sympathetic to Carlos…in what we’ve *seen*. In a certain view, it’s completely awesome Trevor is the Bad Guy, as mentioned above…in another, for your entire group to race off to soothe, as you put it, a casual newcomer who responded badly to a quip? With friends like that…who needs Tabasco enemas?

Anyone, just my opinion. Not a strip-killer, just a very minor blip but one that engaged me enough to warrant a wall of text. Agree, disagree…different people, different experiences, no harm, no foul. Again, thanks for the thoughtful reply.

Not saying the arc isn’t interesting or important, just that it `popped’ rather suddenly; Trevor is the Bad Guy for acting normally and everyone is on Carlos’ side with no real reason shown. No one in the group is perfect or unflawed, so it seems a little…contrived that Trevor is abandoned (save for Brett’s parting shot) to sit alone. Seems at least one or two would have not went rushing off, just shrugged and picked up a game with whoever didn’t go rushing off to `talk Carlos down’. Honestly, if he can’t take a joke as light as Trevor made, he is *not* going to fit with the group. No matter how immersive any game is, there’s a lot of grab-assing goes on around the table and anyone being too `sensitive’ or `off-limits’ is not going to make the group gel. Contrast Carlos to Mel’s intro to the group…and while a lot has happened in terms of character development since then, the base dynamics don’t seem to have turned everyone into Paladins out to rescue everyone in the world.

I just don’t see Trevor as the Bad Guy…or a Bad Guy. It boggles me that so many are willing to…in-comic and in-comments.

I also think that Trevor did not realy do anything wrong. But something did happen which hurt Carlos both sides are valid Trevor did not mean to cause that much pain to Carlos and Carlos was even befor game freaking and that one joke pushed him over the edge. It makes me sad for both of them. In the past lots of things of been said to and by pepole in the group that were way worse and they were laghed off. So trevor had no way of knowing it would cause this. Realy keep pictureing a comic after this arc were all the chars break the 4th wall and say dont wory we are ok we just wanted to raise awarness of certain issues then brian draws himslef in and there is a group hug. lol i have to much time on my mind. love this comic

ps just had a thought when Trevor frist joined the group the cat ate one of his named dice then made a joke about it comeing back covered in poop hope the cat does not give carlos panic attack

People gotta be in here posting literal textwalls that are completely missing the point of this entire arc – got me reeling like I was on the receiving end of one of Brett’s “Seasons Beatings”. Holy Shit.

Enlighten us as to what point you happen to see. Carlos has social anxiety, he can’t take a joke, he’s extremely shy and thinks everyone will hate him because his Dad hated him. The point *could* be it’s okay to make a good friend (Trevor) feel like a pariah for acting *normal*. I suspect the point you see is something along the lines of: no one should joke around Carlos because he has Serious Issus…which no one is aware of the details until now.

So, textwall or not…what do *you* think the point is, that others (me especially, most likely being the only textwaller) are missing?

I’m asking because I really am curious; we all have different perceptions and I may very well have missed something.

I did. Made no sense while trying to make much. Carlos is *not* a new character. He’s been around the group for quite a while. Daddy Didn’t Love Me pales in severity to the unwitting or deliberate bias gays face every day. To the reality of being blind. Not saying Social Anxiety can’t be a serious problem, but for *this* arc making Trevor the Bad Guy and *everyone* abandoning him to go chasing after Carlos just didn’t work for me. An additional strip, even a panel showing a couple regulars behind Trevor…*something* to show the entire group didn’t go racing off to soothe Poor Widdle Carlos’ offended sensibilities.

Pretty sure any of us had regular groups has seen almost this exact situation play out more than once. A joke falls flat, someone gets butthurt and storms away. One or two go after him/her to calm them down, everyone else grabs a fresh soda going, “WTH was *that* about?” “Oooh, you messed up!” “Anyone wanna play Illuminati?”

We…or I, at least…didn’t see that. It’s not a strip-killer, of course; a minor blip at most…agree, disagree, doesn’t matter to me.

You might have had a point if the strip cast Trevor as a sudden surprise villain, and Trevor’s friends actually dumped him and decided he wasn’t welcome to play with them anymore. Yes, he’s mopey here… because he feels bad about hurting Carlos and about not getting to play tonight. Yet, as we all know from the continuation of the story, they’ve reconvened and Trevor is still very much a part of the group.

Again, I think you projected a TON of your own grievances into this storyline.