Not Mine

I am so tired of having conversations or taking part in anything that does not belong to me. Is that messed up? Selfish, even? You might think so at first, but what I’m saying has a lot of truth to it.

I just got home from an author event where the only cute guy there who took interest in asking me normal questions about my life inevitably has a girlfriend. He did not bring this up until we established that we had enough in common to probably go on at least two to three dates, so he got scared and had to throw in the girlfriend sentence. I don’t care that he has a girlfriend; I knew him for ten minutes, but the point is, why are the only guys who are capable of having a normal conversation with me, somebody else’s boyfriends? Is it because their girlfriends train them into not being socially retarded? Do they have to be nice to the girlfriends’ friends and so they put those same skills to use when talking to me? Or is it that they want to know if they can get my attention and then shut me down with good reason. Is it all a game, or just seems like a game from my end? I guess from the end zone, the whole field is exposed and it can seem like a long ways down the line.

Furthermore, shouldn’t single people be more into talking to strangers than other people’s boyfriends? I mean, we don’t have people to go home to and talk to everyday, so why waste the talking energy on me? It’s like my best guy friend: he’s usually someone’s boyfriend and he is a great talker and listener. Does this mean that every single guy out there has no social skills? I swear to God every time someone carries on an excellent conversation with me, he’s not single. I think this goes the same for women too. What does all of this mean? All of us singletons have no social skills? Are we too busy being on the prowl to carry on a normal conversation?

I don’t know anymore. All I know is what with Valentine’s Day coming up next week, I don’t think I can have another good conversation with somebody else’s boyfriend. You know those chalk-like candies with “Be Mine” written on them? They were a dime a dozen in elementary school. I’d be happy with two of those at this point.