Thursday, November 24, 2011

I used to think a lot and then do a lot to change and affect the world...traveled the world. Had a voice. Applied my creative nature. Then, I tired of the bureaucracy and the banging of my head on the wall.

So, I did what I do when things don't seem right and changed direction..

It is quite sedentary, and thus I am with my thoughts on my own a good deal of the time.

I think too much and have since I learned language and to think. It's innate. Writers know. You write because you are a writer and it presses on your brain unless you get it out, even if it's late night, alcohol foggy blah, blah...it's just cathartic and maybe later will make a bit of sense that can be salvaged and worked, or not. Doesn't much matter.

This is why I love to ride my horses out in the woods. Active meditation. Head goes quiet and the universe is simple and clearly beautiful. It's a being in the moment...and it brings a feeling of natural alignment and a knowing, it's all ok...as you watch your horses ears rotate, each on their own, and their knowing before you do...and you become the horse for a minute or an hour..and you learn intuitive knowing and being instead of always doing.

Mindfulness.

Nature.

Nothing plaguing me, like how off center this world seems at most times.

I wonder if others think too much. I envy those who don't think about much at all except an inkling of what passed through my active mind.

I am happy enough. I just care a lot. About a lot.

And so, it's late and I'm not sleeping. I'm thinking again. And writing hoping it may help me feel a bit more calm.

It does some.

And then Craig Ferguson. He has the right idea. Laughter and showing how ludicrous it all is...and that entertains me..and gives me a break from my over serious thoughts...