8.10.09

... still. still... hold still...

current temperature -7'c. windchill -11'c. still about another 4cm to come. wind up to 20km/hr. expected lowest over night -13'c. it is the first real snow here in the mountains. no sprinkles, no sneak preview. a full out, proper snow. squick squick squick. compacting under the boots. the dark rubber soles of my boots are no longer visible, covered with this shades of fresh snow. but not totally innocent- it's got some bites. it's a proper snow, with a bit of steely sharpness. with that crisp smell that goes right up to the top of your head. cutting through the fuzzy head full of indoor air from artificial ventilation- which never changes, just as how its been set. exclusive- to be different from the surroundings, which are seen as comfortable, oddly enough. (how did we get so removed from living things? it's strange to live among the all things that are inanimate at times..)

i went out of a jog this morning. couldnt decide where to go, so i started moving toward tunnel (curious thing- why is that one always is inclined to 'incline'?) then decided to turn eastward, to hoodoos. however, instead of turning to north, i veered to south. ah. what i need was perhaps not the mountains or valleys but proper water. not the water that is contained in a small cup from a tap. not the water that has been swifted away from its path and was packed into this monstrous cooler bottles. but living water, now slightly changing on the edges, thinking about... freezing. just ever so slightly. a solvent. a carrier. bringer of changes.

the bow fall is still deep blue. aquamarine. though there is no salt, yet (am sure there'll be some starting today from the snow removal). it's an amazing sight, as you can see the ways that ice and water have licked through the bottom of the waterflow. strangely enough, it looks much like old tree barks. following their own strands, separated, all different, however so instantaneously recognizable. one look at the small ice cubes that graces the cup of mundane water. crushes it between teeth. another lick, gone. however, when you see these deep gauges from ice of eons ago, a gargantuan mass, flattening lands and carving out mountains, it is a quite a shocking sight. i still cant really believe it was ice that carved out these tall jagged scars out of the land.

the funny thing is that in summer, it doesnt look too impressive (for me anyways), because there is already so much colour around it. that plastic green. tourists and fellow animals who speak, in all kind of colours. eeeeek. but now that the sky is lower with this dove grey, with its wingtips tinged blue and darkest velvety navy, all the sudden the water is alive, like a real fiery opal. ever changing. reflecting light, basking in its last moment of freedom until the winter comes. it was already starting to form ices on the edges, which is.. triple exciting. and when it's barren, it will be a one gigantic canvas of my favorite colours.

however, regarding 'barren,' i think it is one of the most miscasted expression. i dont ever think winter is ever barren. it's pregnant, carrying massive amazing children in its belly- like gaea, carrying monstrously powerful titans. uranus, the sky will soon lost its monopoly on majestic vast openness as chronos will bring down uranus (much nicer than castration, we'll stick to change of season) and then gaea would find her proper place- pregnant, rich, the womb of the world. it will be brought to balanced again, through the blending and blurring of the edges- skyline, prairies, mountains hiding in snowflow, fjords hiding in clouds and almost visible wind. in that peace, many lifeforms will rest against her- the bulbs, silent trees, hibernating bears, each kindling precious flow of time in their own ways. including: fire for the speaking animals.

and now, it's all covered in snow. the first real snowfall. the world is still. the s/m building may be busy and noisy, but as the ventilated air, the building itself is artificial. there is no fault of artificial things, however, it becomes a true rich when one has such a strong contrast- as i have right now, frozen toes and warm heated air, the dark room and luminous snow. and i am sinking into. winter. slowly. but surely. nesting. like fellow animals. still. still. hold still.

.... (grabs dirt, throws, splat!) ....

my gene pool (male) wonders if anyone reads this stuff. i have no idea. does it get read?
*disclaimer: i do sound like some big-inflated bobblehead full of hot-airs at this point when i read my own purging. ah.. hopefully theres at least a hope for a bit of schadenfreuden by watching this monkey make a fool out of self. in public, voluntarily. ha ha. gah...
i rant. on regular basis. it's something to behold, as it may as well become my favorite pastime and amusement, simultaneously. efficient. pointless. may be good?