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What Seinfeld Has Taught Us About Love

By eHarmony Staff (a.k.a 'Seinfeld' fanatics)

August 13, 2012

From 1989 until 1998, we couldn’t get enough of Jerry and friends on the sitcom “about nothing.” With its absurdist and nihilism philosophies, the show is hardly an obvious love lesson source; still, there’s plenty to learn about relationships from ‘Seinfeld’. So here we go…

Be picky, but not too picky.

The characters on ‘Seinfeld’ all ended up alone, mostly because of unrealistic standards for their prospective partners. Yes, it’s important to set parameters and to understand what you need from a relationship — know your must-haves and can’t-stands before you commit — but not giving someone a shot because her hands are too manly? That’s only okay if you live inside a sitcom.

Romance on ‘Seinfeld’ was, well, rather unromantic. While most of us would go mad without any gestures of affection, the show is a good reminder that relationships need to exist in the everyday mundane details of life, too. Many of the relationships on the show stem from the mutual appreciation (or hatred) for the same things, or from mutual experiences and circumstances. Say hi to the guy at the gym, say yes to that blind date, and don’t expect love to be a mystical, surreal experience. Sometimes love is ordering Chinese food and complaining about your insomnia.

Love lesson learned: Don’t give up on love just because it’s “normal.”

Learn from your mistakes.

Contrary to, say, ‘Modern Family’, ‘Seinfeld’ had a strict, “no hugging, no learning” rule. The characters on ‘Seinfeld’ made mistakes on a predictable, regular basis — as we all do — but refused to learn from them. Take a “what not to do” lesson from the pages of a ‘Seinfeld’ script and let mistakes and failed relationships be opportunities for growth, rather than another chapter in hiding behind pride and selfishness. Jerry and the gang all ended up alone; you don’t have to!

Even though George’s lie about being a marine biologist helps to save a beached whale, his confession of lie later causes his girlfriend to immediately break up with him. Likewise, Jerry called faking an orgasm “sexual perjury.” Be transparent about who you are with your partner, even when you wish something else was the truth.

Love lesson learned: Ditch the pseudonyms and little white lies. The truth is always the best version of the story.

If you want out, get out.

Commitment-phobes, learn the lesson George Costanza should have learned early on in the series: If you don’t want to be in a relationship, say goodbye to it. George was always looking for reasons to break up with Susan but couldn’t work up the nerve to end things cleanly. Eventually he found himself engaged to a woman he didn’t want to be with — and then inadvertently caused her death by buying toxic envelopes for their wedding invitations.

Love lesson learned: It’s better to break up than to hang on for the wrong reasons. Also, don’t buy cheap envelopes.