Tag Archives: long distance relationship

Where will I be in 5 years? This is the easiest question in this challenge.

I will be in Canada, God willing!

If you have read our love story you would know that my husband and I, met and dated online. My husband came to the Philippines for the first time last May, and we got married!

When people found out that we were getting married after just seeing each other for the first time, some raised their eyebrows. Some said I was really brave. How can I marry a person when I have just been with him in flesh for four weeks? I guess I am brave. But all I can say is I made sure that I knew what I was doing.

Maybe you are thinking that I was not being careful, I totally understand. But to tell you I was very cautious. I know anyone can be dishonest online, but how can you not know someone when you talk with him for 2-4 hours every single day, sometimes a half day, and sometimes even a whole day for one straight year! Yes, that’s how committed we are until now. Even if it’s online, you will get to know the person well enough. You just have to find ways. I talk to his daughter and I talk to his mother too. I ask him about everything in his life, and I don’t know if I’m just really good in knowing someone or I just got lucky. I want to think that it’s both.

I don’t encourage others to do the same because there are all kinds of people out there. You have to be very careful. This is not for everyone. Not every long-distance relationship succeeds just like non-long distance relationships. There could be horror stories in any kind of relationships. But for me, it turned out good.

In six weeks that we got to spend time with each other in flesh, he exceeded my expectations. He’s a great person that I could go on and on in telling good things about him. I can’t count how many times I picked a fight, threw tantrums, and got dramatic yet he stayed calm and spoke gently. When I’m so emotional and blow things out of proportion, he never raises his voice or says anything mean. He’s so kind that I ignore how he feels.

When you know the person loves you so much, when you know he is always there, when you know he would never hurt you, when you know he will always forgive you, you tend to take him for granted. I’m glad I realized how self-centered I was because I definitely don’t want to be an awful wife!

Waiting is hard, but if after that, I get to be in my husband’s arms again. I’ll be happy to wait.

Like this:

There are people who say long distance relationships are destined to fail. They say it couldn’t be a real one if you are not physically together. I respect everyone’s opinion, but these statements are not generally true even if you check the statistics. Long distance relationships have its own advantages and disadvantages, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t work. But one thing is for sure, “long distance relationship is not for everyone”.

People have different ways of expressing and receiving love, and as one of the people in a long distance relationship, I can say it’s very crucial if you decide to enter into one. Please refer to my other blog The Five Languages Of Love

People whose top love language is physical touch, a long distance relationship will be tough to handle. This can be an area of weakness that may lead to infidelity. If you decide to enter a long distance relationship, you have to be certain that you are with the right person. You have to know his/her primary love language. Long distance relationship requires commitment just like a normal relationship does, so before you invest your time, emotions, and finances, you should make sure that the person is the right one and worth it all.

In marriage, where a spouse needs to go to another place or country to work, I think it’s very important that you know your spouse’s need to feel loved. We have to face the reality that the need to fill the longing for physical intimacy will be there and it can lead one to go astray just to fill the need unless both are committed to their goals for the family and committed to being faithful and being unselfish.

When my husband and I started our long distance relationship, I made clear of two things that we must give, complete honesty and time. He tells me when other women show an interest in him and I tell him when other men show an interest in me. We agree that we should never go out alone with others and go to places where we can be vulnerable to temptations like going to clubs and pubs or spend overnight in parties.

Long distance relationship can be more intimate than a normal relationship because you tell everything that happens to your everyday life even the simple errands and the people you encounter. You express your fears, happiness, and aspirations. You plan your future together and set goals to achieve it together.

In a span of one year, we planned to see each other and get married and we did. We set goals and continue working on it so we can be finally together. This is what I think is one of the important things in a long distance relationship, you should have a goal and it should be clear where your relationship is going and both should be committed and work to achieve your desired destination.