Here’s Your Daily Reminder That Usain Bolt Is Very God Damn Fast

Usain Bolt participated in some kind of running world championships this week and of course he won. In all seriousness, whens the last time this guy lost? It’s not like he plays a sport where he can have an off day and get beat. He’s faster than everyone, which is the main quality you need when you’re just running in a semi circle. He even lets up a little bit at the end and still wins by a healthy margin. Maybe the Red Sox can sign him and make him an official base runner or something. Or have him commentate because ownership hates us (I’ll never be over you, Don).