Borrego Springs, CA - (Apr 23) -
The Walt Disney Corporation of Borrego Springs
California, or somewhere, today, filed suit against the
so-called "English" language, alleging that, without the
English language, or any language, for that
matter, people wouldn't be able to call Disney all the
ugly filthy stupid names they call it every day, like
clockwork.

In a statement, Disney founder and CEO, Joe Disney said,
"Ooops, I no longer have any motivation. Case closed."

Disney's stock fell to some number from some other
number that was apparently larger or higher depending on
whether you think the glass is half empty or half full,
and, if half full, half full of what?

But don't worry. These people are not miked and cannot
hear us.

The suit was filed in U.S. District Courts somewhere
where, you know, "the sun don't shine." If you know
what I mean.

Over the years, the England-based "English" language has
been hit with a string of similar lawsuits for inventing
filthy words like dildo, antidisestablishmentarianism,
and "on-a-shingle."

The English language was formed by the $18 billion
merger of Pig Latin and the Heisenberg uncertainty
principle in 1967. Before that time, to so-called
"communicate," people in England and other so-called
"English-speaking" countries, just figuratively pissed
on each other in (Pig) Morse code.

Either the Disney company or the English language said
it would now have to restructure its whole fucking
operations after discovering that employees were
spending lunch hour, out back, breaking utility tables
over each others' head and betting on the outcome with
money ripped from the tiny little hands of customers'
starving babies left outside in the rain while the
customers came in to comparison shop for air guitar
picks, and air violin bows.

The lawsuit that, apparently, this article is about,
alleges something, but everybody was too busy calling
everybody else "you asshole, you dickhead" to remember
what it was. Something to do with money and people and
lying out one's ass.

The CEO of the English language was not immediately
available for content or comment either, but stated
anyway that if you could just stick enough
muon-neutrinos in a jar and then dropped in one of each
kind of quark, the probability of DNA would be 1 and,
therefore, life is inevitable. And so actually
trying to stay alive is not only a waste of time,
it's a FUCKING waste of time!