Things They DON'T Do In College

Along with being terribly disturbed that college is nothing like Animal House, I have reached the conclusions of many things the hard way. I have written myself a list of Woosterisms that should help me figure my way into transition.

-Don't stand in the back of your chair waiting for the blessing. It will never come.-No one is threatened when you say "If you do that again, I'll bad slip you."-You can't bribe anyone with goodslips either.-People look at you weird when you pick up trash randomly, and then look at you weirder when you explain that if you don't, Street will murder you in your sleep.-No one finds the Mr. Stunt impression as completely hysterical as you do.-It's ok to walk on the grass. Or sit on the grass. Or lie on the grass. Seriously, you can do ANYTHING on the grass. It's scary.-"Is that in dress code?" is a phrase you may as well be saying in Greek. The only thing that would be the same is that Siena would still be the only one who could understand it.- It doesn't matter who was a prefect and who was a music building captain... when you mention anything of the sort, people just go "Woah like in Harry Potter?!" The same goes for Headmasters.-The important thing is, I graduated before Siena.-The fact that I've named my new Mac computer 'Shane' means nothing and I'm the only one who will laugh when I call it that.-Not all Emmetts make my eye twitch.... that's a lie, yes they do.-Any phrase that begins with 'Those crazy Coakleys' will not be understood.-Mr. Adams is NOT the most longwinded person in the world. My new Music Tech teacher is.-Though I live in a tricky area and there are robberies and fires everywhere, Mr. Street still tops the list of things I am ridiculously afraid of.-Not everyone is going to be nice to you and be accepting. Wooster IS a bubble! THEY WERE RIGHT!-I have to walk four blocks to get to the huge practice building, as apposed to the ten feet that make up the music shack.-Waiters don't come and get your food, and if you leave it there, people get really angry with you and start yelling in Portugeuse.-Everyone, everywhere, regardless of race, creed, style, instrument or whether or not they've met him will find Mac in a dress funny as hell.