Spoof news snippets from Tuesday 23 April 2013

Order by:

Suarez Opens New "Suarez Bites" Internet Cafe

"Picasso never holidayed at Saltcoats", claimed Saltcoats tripe-dresser Yorick Thumbnaile yesterday. "Max Ernst did, mind. He used to walk his zebras on the pier and play leapfrog with Mussolini and Lulu."

Vampire Bites Suarez

A rare Edwardian postcard of Rolf Harris playing leapfrog with Lord Nelson and Picasso watched by Kenneth McKellar and Margaret Thatcher on Saltcoats pier in a rainstorm has been lost from Lulu's handbag.

Tin Man And Cowardly Lion Come Out In Defence of Mrs Thatcher

Osmotherley bagpipes-repairer Julian Apeclinger is quite the connoisseur. "Picasso's portraits are not as bad as they look", he said yesterday, "and Moby-Dick is funnier than anything by Jeffrey Archer.

James Corden: "Dutch Queen Isn't Proper Royalty"

A rare daguerrotype of Eric Pickles and Rolf Harris dressed as Italian partisans lynching Horatio Nelson dressed as Mussolini on Saltcoats pier which was lost at the battle of Culloden is still missing.