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Yesterday The Thing had a customer with a most interesting request. He was seeking a thoroughly craptastic gift for five dollars or less. It was for his brother in law. I had honestly never given the matter any thought, but the good ol’ junk shop is an excellent place to purchase gifts for that not-so-special-someone: amongst all the treasure to be found are some items if, not outrightly repulsive, are downright odd. Yesterday proved to be no exception. I found an ancient, rusted out vaporizer, we agreed on the asking price of one whole dollar and our intrepid brother in law was on his merry way.

On that note I would like to share a couple choice discoveries I made at The Thing yesterday while rustling amongst the boxes (UPON BOXES) that were delivered recently. Enjoy!

1. One Bag of Floppy Disks With A Most Mysterious Note

I happened upon the note first.

This was a good thing as it enabled me to follow the author’s instructions to the letter. Let’s see what were are to read first, shall we? It looks pretty important.

Whoa dude! It’s one thing to toy with man’s life but his son’s puberty as well?!? As it would happen the Mister possesses a floppy disk reader. Guess what we will be doing this Christmas holiday? I can hardly wait.

Next up, I remember my parents telling that my Kindergarten class held a mock election in the aftermath of the Watergate scandal. Amusingly enough, my none-too-politically-aware classmates voted unanimously for Tricky Dick. I suppose that’s to be expected from a bunch of five year olds, but what about a grown adult who sees fit to erect a shrine to the man whose middle name is Milhous? Yup, you just read me correctly.

2. The Richard Milhous Nixon Shrine To Freedom

Methinks this will have to be made into a postcard. Or something. Ideas anyone?

I don’t know about you but there is NO WAY I am going outside today! However, I have more photographs (such as the above one I took en route to the post office*— oh joy!) to add to my collection of Greenpoint winter-time goodness, so keep an eye out for them… and STAY WARM!

Miss Heather

*Who managed to misplace two packages of ours and where we had the pleasure of having some utterly clueless (intoxicated?) gentleman wave an envelope in our face and query us as the whether it had sufficient postage to mail. If you are wondering, the answer was yes… and no. The stamps he placed on it totalled out to 46 cents. But alas, one of them hard already been used. Dumbass.

Today, starting at 8:00 p.m. Bar Matchless, Hexed Journal and WORD bookstore present the third installment of Vol. 1, an evening of live music, spoken word and stand-up comedy. The way it works is like this: each month a subject is selected for the participants to expound upon. Fittingly enough the topic for this evening’s event is “The Gift”, so expect to hear tales about the “sometimes joyous, other times awkward, act of giving or receiving a gift.” There is a five dollar suggested donation at the door (proceeds to benefit 826NYC, a non-profit writing center to help students 6-18 develop writing skills). And as always books will be happily accepted on the behalf of Books Through Bars.*