Up In The Air

15 Mar 2010

Although it is grammatically incorrect and it may make a nice title for a movie, the title of this post is not my favorite way for things in my life to be. The end of deployment is upon us. I'm not trying to be sly when I say I'm not sure when my husband will be home, but that I just know it's soon.

Not that I have to tell YOU that because you get it.

It's everyone ELSE who seems to think I'm keeping secrets.

This deployment has been different in many ways. I'm much more capable of handling the business that goes on here...if only it were the same level of business I had last time, though! This time, the girls are older, into more things and I'm run ragged daily.

This year, we started a new school, continued through the process of adopting our daughter from Ethiopia, lost loved ones and gained a new nephew. I've attended weddings, funerals, school events, and witnessed countless milestones alone. Again.

Today, though, I realized that the two biggest things I have going right now--my husband returning from Iraq and picking up our daughter in Africa remain up in the air. And, I'm only slightly freaking out about both of them. Exhaustion has really taken the OC out of my OCD.

But for everyone else? My lack of losing my mind seems to be a real concern. Otherwise, why would the constant barrage of phone calls, facebook messages, text messages, e-mail and face-to-face interrogations keep happening? It's funny because on the one hand, people are very kind (and bold) to toss out their questions, but it is funny to watch them take a step back (as if I may implode) when I tell them I know nothing more than I did when they asked me earlier in the day.

It's like that infernal question when you are pregnant, but almost due: "Do we have a baby yet?!"

For the record, I have a husband. He's just still a half a world away.

I also have a new daughter who is, coincidentally, a half a world away.

It is possible both of these individuals will be coming home within a week or two of each other. It's also likely my husband will be home to accompany me on the huge journey to gather up our new kindergartener and bring her to the States.

Remind me sometime to tell you the story of how I was the only parent in the Kindergarten Parents meeting who had never met her kindergartener. It was surreal to be sure.

In the meantime, tell me what kinds of observations you've made in those final days of deployment that surprised you. Are you, like me, wondering when the wheels are finally going to fall off and you'll show up at work without your shoes? Or, are your thoughts deeper and less noticeable to the outside world? I'm looking forward to finding out in comments!