9.20 elect to deal with emails later. More pressingly, need to conjure up first blog for Huffington Post. Can't decide what to write. Jot down a few very pedestrian ideas. Genuinely consider a blog entitled 'Wasting Time On Trains'. Might be very post-modern. But more likely to be shit.

9.24 eventually settle on this, a thinly-veiled rip off of Adrian Mole, in the vain hope that most people won't remember Adrian Mole. Begin writing.

9.45 pleased with how it's going. Reward myself with a little nap.

10.30 wake up with a hot face. Always get a hot face after sleeping in the day. Frustrating, given my predilection for naps. Splash sparkling water on face. Tingling sensation not entirely unpleasant.

10.40 get off train and start lugging massive bag to hotel. The distance from the station to the hotel is right on the cusp - not far enough to warrant a taxi, but too far to drag luggage. Face getting hotter.

10.51 arrive at hotel. Get into room after fiasco with keycard (again). Chuck some more water (tap) on face. Lie down.

10.54 eat half a pack of stale mini poppadums. And a flapjack that has been left in the room. Wracked with food guilt.

11.02 nothing to report.

11.16 get picked up from hotel. Make small talk with the runner. Ask lots of questions about him. Easy, because he's nice. And one day, he might be a channel commissioner or an executive producer, and he'll remember how lovely I was, and give me a job when no-one else will.

11.59 arrive 'on set', say hello to Floor Manager. He asks what I've spilled down the front of my t-shirt. Explain that it is freshly washed, but that sweet potato is a stubborn stain. He suggests Vanish spray. I thank him.

12.01 sit in 'dressing room'. A room with no carpet - just underlay. And a red drape across the window to eliminate all light. The sort of room Dracula might like to dress in.

12.45 get face covered with powder. It takes months off me/makes me look a bit like Kryten from Red Dwarf.