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Monday, June 10, 2013

Chapter Twenty-Seven

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Dan had pulled the Jeep into
the parking lot of a late night Bexley coffee shop. Running inside, he’d purchased two coffees-
one with soy milk, one with cream, and two bottled waters. Returning to the car, he’d handed her the cup
with the regular cream and then some packets out of his glove compartment-
Stevia, Nectresse and Splenda.

Bekah had tried Stevia but
not the other two. She’d decided on a mixture and swirled it inside her cup
while Dan busied himself with the cut on his knuckle.

She’d offered to help, but he
waved her off as he mumbled something about too much physical contact. His breathing sounded like that of a tired, frustrated
man, and his face shone with about as much sweat as fifty push-ups might
produce. Judging from his plump muscles,
she bet worked out a lot.

He cursed once or twice and
then tossed the bandages back into the glove compartment. Was he pissed because she’d grabbed his keys
and found that paper?

Nah, she’d be a selfish
dipstick to think his manly moodiness could be blamed solely on her. Still, she’d been a jerk, as usual.

She apologized for snatching
the keys and added, “You know how dumb and impulsive I can be.”

He grunted as he struggled to
pull a butterfly bandage tightly across his knuckle to hold the cut
closed. “I know about impulsive, but not
dumb.”

She reached over, grabbed one
end of the bandage and tightened it until he pulled his paw away. “Thanks.”

“So, how did you hurt your
knuckle?”

“Long story.”

“Just tell me you didn’t belt the priest.”

“Of course I didn’t.” He
rubbed his eyes and then took the lid off of his coffee. Blowing into the cup, he tossed her a
sideways glance. “It’s not really him
that annoyed me. It’s just Dad.”

Bekah stared into her
creamy-brown drink just as she’d gazed into her cappuccino in the waiting
room. Telling Dan that Oliver had zeroed
in on her while she’d sat there seemed a bad idea. Besides, Ryan had already explained,
“Dad has his weird ways, but don’t worry about that. He just needed somewhere to meet Davies. Of course,” he’d added contemplatively, “he
may have been trying to impress you, too.”

“Why?” she’d asked.

“Could be many reasons.”

So, it seemed Davies had lied
about why he’d chosen to sit with her.
Or maybe he’d studied her a few moments before complying with Oliver’s
request. Maybe he’d decided that as a
man of God he might be able to help the poor, little waif of a woman whose best
friend seemed to be that watery cappuccino that she’d gotten from a machine.

Her blisters throbbed. She hadn’t put on any socks. Stupid as heck.

Dan shifted in his seat, his
hand in his hair as he stared through the window. She glanced down at the paper laying open
between them and wondered if she’d get an explanation for why he’d been
carrying it in his glove compartment.

Of course, there were other
things to discuss but he’d been playing stupid earlier.

Sirens screeched down the
road, red and blue lights flashing in all directions before vanishing into the
night.

Dan set his cup in the holder
before untwisting the cap to his water bottle.

“Are we going to talk?” Bekah
asked finally. “Or just sit here,
sipping coffee and listening to everything around us?”

“That was the plan.” He sounded like something had gotten stuck in
his throat, his reply was so strained.

“Shh.” He jerked his head up
and tapped her mouth once before pulling
at his shirt collar. One long gulp of
water later, he screwed the cap back on the bottle. “First let me explain about the paper.”

Good deal. She crossed her legs, careful to keep her
skirt pulled down. After all, she didn’t
want to look like Kelly McBride, showing off her legs to Teacher.

Dan gestured at the assignment. “I was reading that when I noticed the shower
water running too long.”

Bekah frowned. “Huh?”

He snatched the paper and
explained that he’d folded it and stuffed it in his pocket- and that’s when
he’d found Allie collapsed in the bathroom.
When he’d noticed it still in his pocket at the hospital, he’d hidden it
in his glove compartment.

“Not such a mysterious thing
after all, now is it?”

She thought for a moment. “Well at least
part of it isn’t.”

He turned to her, his pointer
finger pressed against his temple.

“I thought you would have
graded the stupid thing and given it back by now.”

He looked at her like she’d
revealed her dumbest fear- that Freddy Kruger would one day materialize before
her.

“I can’t grade that paper the
way it is and you know it. Too much of
your anger slipped through on this one.”

“Can you blame me?”

“Like I told you, I can
relate to your feelings, so, no I can’t blame you. But it’s way below what
you’re capable of.”

“OK, if you say so. But now I’m left wondering this, Teach…” She
turned in her seat so that she’d fully face him and tugged her black skirt down
toward her knees as much as possible. “You were reading my paper on a Saturday
night. Where?”

“What do you mean, ‘where’?”

“Just answer me. In your den?
In your room? Dining room?” She
recalled the rainbows that reflected off the window crystal. They’d reminded her of something, but the
full memory had yet to be retrieved.

“Does it matter where I was?”
he asked.

“Yes. If you were in your den,
I could see you trying to decide on a grade, what you were going to write and
all that…”

He exhaled as his abs curled
in, a sign of deflation. He must have
grasped the line of thought she’d been pulling.

“OK,” he said lowly. “I was on the couch.” His brow raised. “I’ll admit that I find your papers
interesting.”

“Why?”

“You’re an enigma in some
ways.”

“An enigma?”

“Mysterious, puzzling.”

She knew what “enigma” meant
but it had sounded cheesy. Nonetheless, “Is
that why you like me?”

“In what way do you mean
‘like’?”

“You tell me. You heard Ryan earlier, so I think you can
put two and two together.” She pursed
her lips, reminding herself to tread carefully.
Her bold side always wanted the wheel, damn it.

“Listen to me…I’m getting
serious with Grace.”

“Ok…and you’re here with me.”

“Rebekah, I feel like I’m
being interrogated.”

“Good, because I plan to be a
cop, so this is good practice.”

He wiggled his leg a couple
times, but his jaws bulged and his fingers turned a bit white as he gripped the
steering wheel. “A cop?”

She nodded.

“Hopefully you’ll outgrow
that dream. I picture you writing.”

“And I picture myself kicking
butts.”

“You’re a class act.” He
snickered and shook his head, but she noticed he’d leaned closer. Unforunately, he must not have been wearing
his usual cologne, as only the coffee aroma hung in the stale air.

“Back to my question," she
said. “If you’re afraid to answer
honestly, don’t be. I don’t want to
hurt you or Ryan.”

His reply sounded defensive, like
she’d accused him of smoking pot: “I’m
not afraid.” He puffed his breath out. “Look, Rose…if your
feelings for me are coming between you and Ryan, let’s just cut this thing
loose right now.”

She blinked at him. So, he
was going to remain in a state of denial?
Ryan had said he’d seen how “They look at each other.” Meaning he’d seen
Dan studying her the way she’d been studying Dan. Add that to Teacher’s fixation on her papers
and his worried expression at the thought of her being a cop- and the anger
over how Ryan had supposedly dragged her?

No, no, Teacher, you’re going to fess up.

“You’d do yourself a huge
favor to push me out of your mind,” Dan was saying while carefully spinning his
coffee inside the cup.

Bekah tsked. “You don’t have to worry. I’m not going to punch you in the nose or
anything. Just admit what you feel.”

“That would be highly
unprofessional.”

“So are a lot of other things
you’ve said and done.”

“Yeah and it’s got to stop.”

“I know that.” She swallowed.
“I just want to hear the truth…that way I…might be able to find closure.”

Finally he set his drink down
again, his broad shoulders invading her space and his frown reminding her of
Ryan’s. Only he appeared more concerned
than angry.

“Closure?” he asked. “You think me telling you that….”

He glanced down at her open
jacket and made eye contact again.
“Listen, I’m not sure what’s going on with me. I find you attractive, there’s no mistaking
that.”

“But there’s more.”

He remained stiff and silent,
like a spy who’d no intention of divulging anything unnecessary.

“It might help to get it
out,” she said softly.

He scratched the back of his
neck. “It’s tempting… but some things
should be left alone.”

Bekah smirked, recalling
something she’d read in the first Narnia
book. Perhaps that part had stood out
because of the many "bells" she’d rang connected her to the boy who’d taken the witch’s dare. She spoke it out loud:

“Strike the bell and bide the
danger, Or wonder til it drives you mad, what would have followed if you
had."

Dan's expression couldn't
have filled with more amazement or enthusiasm if she'd presented him with a
thousand boxes of dark chocolate.

"You're reading Magician's Nephew?"

Her smile felt fake, a
gesture to hide the shakiness rising inside of her. "About two weeks ago I started. Interesting, but I don't really understand
why you wanted me to read it."

"Keep going and you’ll
see. You just quoted one of the most
interesting lines."

"I'll grant you
that."

"The story...the series,
I should say is an allegory. It mirrors
creation, man's fall into sin, the rule over a cursed world by a devil...or in
this case, a witch. Aslan represents Christ."

"I don't think I've
gotten to Aslan but I've seen the movies."

"Don't you remember the
sacrifice he gave on Edmond's behalf?"

She nodded.

"Think about it. No matter what's you've done... Christ
already knew you'd do it. He laid down
His life on your behalf and He's waiting for you to accept His sacrifice. No matter what you've done or how guilty you
feel, do you understand that?"

Apparently their former
conversation had drowned as he buzzed with the possibility of a conversation. Unlike many others, she knew he sincerely
longed for her to convert. This was no game to him.

"I-"

"He loves you. He'll never leave you, never let you down.
Men will let you down, but not the Lord.”

"Are you sure about
that?"

He nodded. "It may seem
at times that He's let you down but He's always there. Rebekah, please listen."

He'd snatched her hand and
barely seemed to notice as he begged for her attention; but after a few more
lines of pleading for her soul, he paused to scrutinize the hand sandwich he'd
created.

For a moment, he didn’t
move. And then he pressed the back of
his hand to his forehead while keeping hers locked inside his two. She, her stomach churning from the spike in
her excitement, checked the parking lot in all directions for any sign of
trouble.

"Dear God, help
me," Dan prayed. "Help Rebekah
understand."

The sadness she heard in his
voice dashed her excitement into a million pieces.

He was praying for her and
hurting at the same time. Hurting
because his feelings for her were wrong in the eyes of man; hurting because she
hadn’t fully grasped his gospel.

If only she could promise him
it would be OK. But coming from a female
student, it would have sounded dumb to him, anyway.

Maybe she'd do him a huge
favor just to get out of this car and walk away for good. Maybe take Ryan up on his offer to move to a
different neighborhood, a different school.

Dan didn't need this
temptation.

She slowly withdrew her
hand. Dan’s prayer still lingered in her
ears as his brows curled. “I’m sorry,”
he said. “I don’t mean to be too
overbearing.”

“No, you haven’t.” She
reached to smooth her fingers through his thick waves and smiled a little. His hair was so soft, smooth. Now she knew.
“It’s mostly my fault, Dan.”

“It’s mine. I’m the adult here.”

She was about to argue that
she, too, was technically an adult; but then he closed his large paw around her
hand, pulling her fingers from his hair as his Adam’s Apple bobbed.

“I don’t know how to act
around you,” he whispered. “You’re
beautiful, you’re fascinating. I read
your papers and I get this glimpse of a young woman who’s far smarter than she
presents herself in person.”

She licked and then bit her
lip, drawing his attention to her mouth.
With his thick lashes lowered so that she could no longer gaze into his
chocolate eyes, she wondered where his mind had drifted to.

“I’d have to think that one
over, Teach.”

“I’m a terrible Christian,”
he went on. “You’d really do yourself a
favor to-“

“No, you’re not and I don’t
want to hear you say that again, Dan Shields.
You’re the best Christian I’ve met.”

“Thanks for the vote of
confidence. But a good Christian man- a
good teacher- wouldn’t be sitting here holding your hand and wondering what it
would be like to…”

His gaze still lingered on
her mouth, so she needn’t ask him to finish.

“I’m afraid things are worse
now. Ryan’s idea backfired,” he said.

“You think they’re worse?”

“Don’t you?” He looked into her eyes again. “I’m either incredibly immature or you’re
very mature. Or maybe we somehow rise and fall on both sides and collide at
different times in our lives. Whatever
the case, there are many other things I should be doing and thinking of
now. My relationship with Grace would be
over if she saw us now. And Allie needs
me at her side.”

“I know.”

“I can’t take you to your
mom, though. It would look suspicious.”

“What do you want to do?”

His breath caressed her collarbone
and she tried to imagine herself as a stoic cop. That way, she wouldn’t tempt him by tilting
her head back, inviting the touch of his lips against her neck.

The thought made her feel
like swooning- just like the cheerleaders who daily batted their lashes at him.

Finally, he asked, “You want
the truth?”

She shook her head, trying to
remember what they’d been discussing.

Remaining focused where he
his breath had touched her, his pulse pounding against her palm, he replied, “I
want you safe from Dad…I want you safe from me.”

“From you?”

“Obviously I have issues.”

“Nothing you can’t work out
with God.”

He cocked half a smile and
pushed one of her hairs from her cheek.
She trembled.

“I think you’re coming
around, Kid.”

“Who knows?” She thought how
his faith had touched her so many times in the past few months. “Maybe I am.”

He slid his palm under her
jaw, scanning over her face and lips.
“We’re only five and a half years apart…and I can’t kiss you because of
my position.”

“And because of Grace.”

He closed his eyes. “I care
for Grace…she needs help, though, Rose. I can’t even kiss her without her
panicking.”

“I noticed she seems a
little…off. Do you know why she’s like
that?” Not that discussing Grace lifted her spirits in the slightest little
bit.

“It’s a long story…I’m not
sure she’d want me to say.”

“Maybe…she should talk to
someone…” This coming from the girl who refuses to visit her counselor.

“Maybe I should too.” He released her.

She caught her breath as he
leaned back in his seat and began playing with his keys. “You’re coming around to Christ….and I can’t
pursue you.”

“I won’t always be your
student.”

“Jumping into a relationship
any time soon would raise flags.
Besides, what about Ryan?”

Ryan!

Oh, God, why am I always doing this? Her cheek
pressed against the cold window as she distanced herself from her boyfriend’s
brother.

“I’m a mess,” she whispered
with her arms folded.

Just as it should have, the
howling wind gently rocked the Jeep. She’d
seen enough movies and read enough books to know that highly emotional ‘scenes’
required such an atmosphere; but this wasn’t a story. Her painful situation had risen and remained
in Reality, and God seemed to be shaking them for their misconduct.

It was 9:45 when Teacher
handed her the paper. “Take it back and
rewrite it.”

He turned the key in the
ignition. Without another word, he drove
her back to the hospital and when they arrived, he told her to go straight to
Allie’s room, with Ryan. He’d be in a
few minutes.

But her legs wouldn’t move.

He held up her coffee and
when she reached to take it, he kept the cup firmly in his grasp. Because their
fingertips touched, she knew his pulse had been racing as much as hers.

“Rose…I know it’s hard right
now, but thank God we didn’t let this go any further than it has.”

She wanted to concur but she
sat awash in the heat of humiliation. The lovely, horrible feeling that rejection
from a male used to grant her. Only this
time she wasn’t sure she could ever just…move on. Dan was so different. So determined to keep things right, so stable
in his faith, even though he thought temptation cast him into the lot of
hypocritical Christians.

“Please go on in,” he
whispered. “Things will get easier.”

She thought she heard him
swallow and his voice wavered with doubt.
“Things will get easier.”

I know what I'm doing.

Smelling roses or playing with fire, closing my eyes in the midst of desire. Thorns may spike me or I may burn; but that doesn't change how much I yearn. (Photo from Stuart Miles/freedigitalphotos.net)

Snippets

“Calm down, things aren’t as bad as they seem.” Say that to yourself a hundred times over.

“They’re not? Because it seems pretty bad to me.” He pointed at the ceiling. “My sister’s up there in a coma and my dad won’t stop scheming.”

“He just wants me to help, that’s all.”

“And what did he offer in return for your help?”

“You think I’d take anything he offered just to help?” She snatched the business card back and slouched in her seat. “I wouldn’t, Dan,” she whispered and swallowed the lump in her throat. What was she supposed to say now?

“How does he want you to help?”

She shrugged. “I guess you’ll have to find out.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me, Teacher. I don’t think I need to tell you everything because you’ll find out soon enough.”

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About Me

Not only do I love to write, but I am a stay-at-home mother of three- well, an eight-year-old, a six-year-old and one due on Sept. 1.
I am a believer in Jesus Christ, and my stories will reflect that, but hopefully without being overly preachy. Please enjoy reading. :)