A novice philosopher turned equestrian…

Early Twenties Crisis?

I had a glass of wine this evening. Which is the first time I’ve had any alcohol in about a month. That’s quite a long time. When I look back at my Uni days and how normal it was to drink pretty much every day, I feel so old. So very very old. The really really sad thing, is that this one medium glass of wine has gone straight to my head. Oh my.

I’m a cheap datenowadays then! One glass of wine and the edges of my world go all fuzzy and pleasant. I can barely believe I used to be able to drink a bottle of vodka in a night and only feel like I do now. Jeez! This wine was really nice actually. A Chenin Blanc/Pinot Grigio mix. Really lovely and light. I liked it. It’s all gone now though…shame. Also, it had the coolest label. It was called “Tiger Horse” and…yeah you got it…had a picture of a horse with tiger stripes on the label. NO, not a zebra. Don’t get clever. Tiger stripes and zebra stripes are very different. Trust me on this.

My brother has been tagged in a few pictures lately on nights outat Uni. I haven’t been stalking, they’ve just come up on my newsfeed so I had a sneaky peek. They made me all nostalgic for my Uni days.

There’s a part of me that wants to relive it a bit, go out and get tipsy and have a dance. I do miss that. Some of it any way. We had some seriously good nights out. Some pretty horrendousones too mind. But when we were good, we were really good!

I still cringe when I look at the pictures, but man they were the best times. I miss those guys. I miss those nights.

I miss that feeling actually, of just randomly deciding to have a drink and go out. I’d knock on a housemates bedroom door “pub?” and off we’d go. Down the road to the pub, knock back a few, play some terrible pool and three hours later find ourselves in the middle of Hustle, or Sugar, or Revs, dancing like there was no tomorrow.

Which would inevitably lead to an early morning Subway visit (yup, our Subways were open ’til 4am. Oh, and I mean the sandwich shop). In third year we’d find ourselves debating whether it was worth going all the way to campus just to get curly fries from Sultans. We usually realised it wasn’t…but the question was still there!

I say usually, because I seem to remember getting the bus from Sugar back to campus one night, going to Sultans and then calling a taxi to get back home again. I can’t remember who I was with though. I hope I was with someone….

And then we’d sit on the kitchen floor and eat. Someone would usually start cooking and the kettle would inevitably be on only for everyone to forget about it completely because someone knocked over a bottle of lemonade.

I still giggle when I remember some of the stupid stuff we did. Cordy trying to eat soup with a fork. Yaz reading to us from her ‘special book’. Cat’s drunk crying – best impression of an injured dog I’ve ever heard. Lizzie walking through the kitchen, picking up the salad cream and disappearing into her bedroom with it, closing the door soundly. Simon falling up his stairs. A lot. Emily coming to stay and falling off the stool because she was laughing so hard at me spreading Philadelphia on the floor instead of my rice-cakes because I wasn’t looking.

I miss all that stuff quite a bit. It’s a shame that all those friends are so far away. I could go for a night outwith those guys right about now.

This growing up thing is stupid. I’m only 23, I’m still young enough for a night out and a good time. But they all live so far away! Gosh darn it.

Oh dear me. I think it’s normal to feel like this around my age though. Because you see, I’m not really sureof my place in the world at the moment.

I’m not a kid anymore and I’m out of the Uni thing. But I don’t feel like an adult either. Sometimes I feel so old, old beyond my years. Like everything I do has to have meaning and a reason. While all I really want to do is let loose and have fun.

But life doesn’t really allow for that at the moment. I’m busy all the time, and tired the rest of it. Being older than everyone at college makes me feel a bit past it as well. They go out and have a good time which reminds me of the fun I used to have, but also makes me feel like a has beenat the same time.

I do know though, that if my Uni friends and I were to get together again and go out…man would it be awesome. It makes me smile just thinking about it.

I miss you guys!

I’ll stop whiningnow. Apologies to anyone who was hoping for a horsey blog. You’ve come this far and all you’ve had is me going on about my Uni days. I’m afraid I have nothing remotely horsey to report. Just self-pitying rubbish.