TOP-RANKED OKLAHOMA DECIMATES TEXAS A&M 77-0 It was the most lopsided loss in A&M history and would have been worse if the Sooners hadn't let the Aggies play the last 30 minutes with the 12th Man.

In a recent interview Joe Paterno said he would only leave Penn State if the White House said he was needed in Iraq. What are the odds he'd pick the only place whose rebuilding program may take longer?

NFL NETWORK GOES ON AIR It's just like the Golf Channel. Except the Golf Channel has more live football.

All NFL 24 hours a day, seven days a week. That's a lot of programming to fill. On Day Two, the first hour was just Rich Eisen sitting around, waiting for the results of his random drug test.

Warren Sapp and Michael Strahan have debuted a regular spot in which they debate various league issues. I hope I'm not too late with a title: Pardon the Encroachment.

WIZARDS OWNER ABE POLLIN HAS REMOVED ALL MICHAEL JORDAN-RELATED ITEMS FROM THE MCI CENTER Help me out here. Does that include 7,000 filled seats?

Kobe Bryant's next court appearance was moved from Monday, Nov. 10, to Thursday, Nov. 13, at the request of the prosecutors. Do you know what this means? They prefer CSI: Miami to the regular CSI.

In other NBA news, Kevin Garnett was fined $5,000 for throwing a ball into the stands. And this is lame. KG claims he spotted an open Wally Szczerbiak.

RAMS BEAT RAVENS 33-22 St. Louis improved to 6-3 despite four turnovers and 121 yards of total offense. The win was so ugly it was automatically added to the cast of NBC's Average Joe.

Elsewhere, the Falcons upset the Giants to end their seven-game losing streak and give Dan Reeves his 200th career win. And today Arthur Blank took out a full-page ad apologizing for Deion Sanders.

What a relief for Reeves. He had been stuck at 199 longer than Mario Mendoza.

Raiders defensive tackle Darrell Russell was reinstated a year and a half after testing positive for ecstasy. He was picked up by Steve Spurrier, which, coincidentally, is one of the side effects of ecstasy.

RED SOX TEAM DOCTOR ARRESTED ON DRUNK DRIVING CHARGES He failed four field sobriety tests. And Red Sox fans are blaming Grady Little for leaving him in for the last three.

Serious bust. His blood alcohol level was .1918.

Elsewhere, the White Sox named Ozzie Guillen their new manager. Guillen retired in 2000 and has spent the last three years cleaning his batting helmet.

MESSIER MOVES TO SECOND ON ALLTIME NHL SCORING PARADE The 24-year veteran scored an empty-net goal to pass Gordie Howe. Here's what I don't get. The assists went to Kovalev and Gretzky.

The NHL has hired former Al Gore consultants to do p.r. So, if they do their job, get ready for four years off.

Before he became the premier postseason performer of his generation, the Patriots icon was a middling college quarterback who invited skepticism, even scorn, from fans and his coaches. That was all—and that was everything