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Friday, December 01, 2006

The Million Dollar Question

Dear Korean,Why do Korean men beat their wives, and can I get any hints on how I canbeat my wife like a Korean?Married in Manhattan

First, I hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving. The Korean went home to L.A. with the Korean Girlfriend. I am proud to say that the Korean Family went so mainstream that not only do have turkey, but we actually have the entire Thanksgiving meal catered. But onto the question.

Dear Married,

Why do Korean men beat their wives?

Because the Korean wives never listen. (Rimshot.)

Okay, let's try that again. Why do Korean men beat their wives?

If you ever visit Korea, you will be amazed at how everyone looks and dresses the same. There is simply no question that the Korean people are very sensitive to trends. Nothing makes a Korean more insecure than being different from others because, well, being different is the mark that says "Please kill me next time Korea is invaded." (See the post Koreans: More Homogenized than Milk for details.) A few years ago during winter, duffle coats became really popular in Korea, and EVERY woman wore a duffle coat, although it's a coat only meant for the lean and tall. Walking down the streets of Seoul, the Korean cracked up every minute looking at the bouncy sponge balls that occupied the city. It was like Futurama episode when the Earth was invaded by bouncy balls.

What the hell does this have to do with wife beating? Well, wife beating is a worldwide trend, and the trendy Koreans are simply following the trend. We in America have now moved onto thinking that wife beating is a cowardly shit that endows a social stigma a little weaker than racism and a little stronger than drunk driving. But it was not even 20 years ago when Battered Wife Syndrome was considered to be a hocus pocus. Social trends, like fashion trends, need to run their course, and Korea is coming around to accepting that wife beating is a cowardly shit as well.

But another question is, why are Korean men singled out as wife beaters? The Korean's hunch is that it's because Korean men are compared to Chinese and Japanese men. It is well-chronicled that Chinese men are traditionally their women's bitches. (Chinese men cook and everything!) Japanese men used to have some balls, but they were neutered in the process of getting rich. That only left Korean men to carry the torch in the region.

4 comments:

There is spousal abuse, mainly wife-beating all over the world. However, Korea maybe the only country where you can slap or hit a woman in public and no one will bat at eyelid.

In the US, some other man/woman will interfere and may beat you up, in the middle east a crowd will beat you up (they may do worse if you kissed the woman instead of slapping her), in India they may lynch you (a mob can get quite violent over there). But in Korea, they think - she is your woman and you have every right to discipline her, so you can slap her anytime, any place that you want to do so.

I have a Korean boyfriend and have been beaten and hit numerous times. He's even done so in public and no one tried to help me. Afterwards he said he didn't want to be that kind of man but he would still joke about it or think of it lightly afterwards. I didn't even know about the stereotype that Korean men and Korean society tends to look down on women and justify violence against women.. but after this experience and listening to other's experiences, it is really happening and it's not just a stereotype. Not many women will want anyone to know or admit something like this happens and will surely never stand up if no one acknowledges and tries to change the social norms in Korea.

@fdsdhelp yourself before asking for other people to help you; GTFOPS i've dated several Koreans, and they never hit me. it seems the only ones who do are the ones who have the reinforced belief that they can get away with it.

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About TK

The Korean is a Korean American living in Washington D.C. / Northern Virginia. He lived in Seoul until he was 16, then moved to Los Angeles area. The Korean refers to himself in the third person because he thinks it sounds cool.