In the new issue of Rolling Stone, on stands and available through Rolling Stone All Access on July 22nd, Larry David says he’s not usually an easy profile subject: “There’s nothing that reflects me,” he says. “I’m unreflectable!” But in the cover story, the comedy genius behind Curb Your Enthusiasm talks at length (and sometimes seriously) with senior writer Brian Hiatt about post-divorce life, his plans to return to stand-up comedy, the differences between him and his Curb character, and much more. Early in the piece, David reveals a recurring daydream: “Sometimes I have these fantasies of just moving to a foreign country and coming back with a full head of hair. Or not even come back! Make a new life there with hair . . . Change my name, just see what happens.”

He notes that his Curb character is “my version of Superman. The character really is me, but I just couldn’t possibly behave like that. If I had my druthers, that would be me all the time, but you can’t do that. We’re always doing things we don’t want to do, we never say what we really feel, and so this is an idealized version of how I want to be. As crazy as this person is, I could step into those shoes right now, but I would be arrested or I’d be hit or whatever.”

• David disagrees with Howard Stern, who found it shallow to date women who were attracted to his fame: “Why else would somebody approach me? Who’s going up to a bald guy, an old bald guy? Nobody! If I wasn’t on television, who’s coming up to me? People would run from me, are you kidding? If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn’t know who I was, she would run away.” He pauses. “And who’s not shallow, by the way?”

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• He feels that his pre-Seinfeld stand-up career is unfinished business – and he’s currently writing material for a return to the stage. “I think it would be a great experience to be able to go up and have an audience of fans,” he says. “It would be very different for me, and it’s something that I’ve never experienced.”

• David says he’s unlikely to ever get married again. “It would be a silly thing to do,” he says. “Why would I do it? Why would I want that contract? I already have kids. The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it’s the best of both worlds. There’s a lot to be said for it. You get married, you have kids – you should plan this from the beginning. We’re going to have these kids, then we’ll get divorced when they’re four. All right, six.”

• David is sick of people asking about his wealth – though he ultimately understands why they do. “I don’t have anything near what I’m reputed to have,” David says. “My wife got half of it, the whole thing is ridiculous, and yet people are obsessed with the fact that I’ve made millions of dollars [from Seinfeld‘s] syndication . . . It’s okay for all these other people you’ve interviewed to have it, but not me? Jerry’s not getting asked about how much money he has. Only I am. It comes down to, ‘Jerry deserves it, he starred in it, you got lucky!’ . . . It doesn’t suit me, that’s why, it’s uncharacteristic for a person with my personality to have it, that’s what’s askew, right? Something’s off, and I agree with you. I shouldn’t! It’s an anomaly!”