More than George Washington riding a bald eagle eating a nitrate-full hotdog. More than fireworks over a Nascar crash. More than the Statue of Liberty line-dancing to Garth Brooks. More than Abe Lincoln smoking Marlboro Lights outside a Piggly Wiggly. You're American AF!

More than George Washington riding a bald eagle eating a nitrate-full hotdog. More than fireworks over a Nascar crash. More than the Statue of Liberty line-dancing to Garth Brooks. More than Abe Lincoln smoking Marlboro Lights outside a Piggly Wiggly. You're American AF!

I bought this shirt for my sexy-ass to be buried in. I’ll have a permed-french-mullet, a beer in my hand, and a coffin lined with alligator skin. And this shirt. Because FINDERS KEEPERS! Because ‘Merica! Because every future f***er needs to know exactly who that damn moon belongs to! Watch...

Whether it’s sushi, chocolate or a piping-hot plate of “freedom fries,” as a lady, when you’ve got a craving, others would be wise to stay away. Equipped with a travel-size can of pepper spray, a colorful vocabulary and the ability to cry on cue, you’re armed and dangerous—just the way...

Pump up the jam in the gym with this tank top reference to the king of '90s body-positivity. You can do side bend or sit ups, but please, please don't lose that butt. Sir Mix-A-Lot would be proud of that squat, girl.

"SHAKE AND BAKE BROTHER"! Thats right, if you ain't first, you're last...Words to live by from the immortal Ricky Bobby This shirt is the "Bake" half, so surely you're going to want to get the "Shake" half as well. Makes a great gift for your girlfriend, boyfriend, or any friend...

In the immortal words of Ricky Bobby, "SHAKE AND BAKE BROTHER"! Thats right, if you ain't first, you're last.. This shirt is the "Shake" half, so surely you're going to want to get the "Bake" half as well. This t-shirt makes a great gift for your girlfriend, boyfriend, or any...

Great balls of fire! Who can forget Maverick and Goose taking it right into the danger zone. Sure, one belongs to a cult and the other has male pattern baldness. They took your breath away back then. They can do it again.

Move over, Ryan Gosling—coming out of the cage with over 400 pounds of raw muscle and a 17-year-old smile with enough sex appeal to make Jane Goodall weak in the knees, Harambe was the total package. He’s gone now, but while wearing this one-of-a-kind, honorary t-shirt, your pheromones won’t forget...

Sunday is the perfect day not only because it's a day of rest, but because you live in America! You have the right to bear arms written into your home country's Constitution. Sunday is a funday because Sunday is Gunday!

Ladies, you may not own a gun, but you believe it's our right to do so. You may not ever attend a Monster Truck Rally, but you'll listen intently as your husband gives you a play by play recap. You may have been brought up appreciating classical music, but will...

Before I bought this shirt, my idea of cardio was getting up to pee during commercial breaks. Now whenever I put on this shirt, nothing is different. I'm still just like every other American. Lazy, fat, and super happy! I also enjoy how the shirt's sleeveless style allows my arm...

Ladies, help spread the word...."All Lives Matter". It doesn't matter if you're black, brown, white, or a marvelous yet subtle shade of baby blue. I think we can all agree with this message. Let this shirt be a stepping stone to unity amongst people of all colors, with the exception...

The t-shirt that answers the question once and for all..... "Why do they hate the U.S. so much?" It's because they see our freedoms, our unlimited opportunities, and our resolve following crisis. They can only wish to live in a Country that offered the same. They want to experience NASCAR,...

You're a bald eagle eating an apple pie. If you snack, it's exclusively baseball stadium peanuts. Your doorbell plays the Star Spangled Banner and your ringtone is the sound of a drone targeting the enemy. You're American AF! And you don't care who knows it!

It’s been 19 years since Monica Lewinsky last had a roll in the hay with President Clinton. As such, the pity party is over for Hillary—she’s now accountable for being a complete and total douche of a woman. “Hillary for President” women need to give it a rest, embracing the...

A t-shirt that celebrates what I like to call "the ole standby". The one excuse that can justify just about any action short of rape and murder. "Whiskey Made Me Do It" isn't a cop out at all. It can explain everything from why you got a bullfrog tattoo on...

For all you women who don't like to mince words. Those who feel a lone "F" doesn't fully convey the message you're trying to send. Those of you used to having to spell things out for the ignorant people (husbands and boyfriends mostly) in their lives. Here's your version of...

Calling all women who remember the Reagan/Bush years. Help preserve the legacy of this Presidential duo. Reach out to the younger generations. Pass down the history of this time period and encourage them, that we can get back there once again. Remember, most woman under 35 hold memories of three...

I used to feel bad about my single ladies status, but ever since I bought this shirt I've officially been promoted to crazy cat lady. About once a week, a new kitten arrives magically on my front stoop and I add it to the family. Young ladies, if anyone ever...

You may have ripped off all your t-shirt sleeves. You may rock an armband tattoo. You might even drive a pick-up truck. But do you even 'Merica bro? Where's your patriotism? Can you really call yourself a true American?

Hello Kitty, unicorns and overly protective grandmothers—each of these cares deeply about feelings, emotions and those who find themselves woefully offended at the first sign of freedom. Here’s the deal, though—you’re a woman, and you know what’s up. Make this t-shirt your own, and take a firm stance against touchy...

The one and only love that will never let you down, America. The next time a construction worker hollers at you or some sloppy creep hits on you at last call -- tell them you have a bae. That your bae is the most powerful bae in the world and...

I used to be skinny and wimpy like a donkey's tail. I used to be as weak as liberals are on national security. Then one glorious day, I slipped on this shirt. Suddenly, all the squat racks emptied when I walked into the gym. No one wants to be embarrassed...

Ladies....does looking at the Washington Monument make you long for someone to ring your Liberty Bell? Will the mere though of Mount Rushmore, make you fantacise about meeting a stranger named Rushmore? Would you consider dating Uncle Sam if he wasn't a fictional character? Have you ever dressed up like...

A classic tee with vintage hues of red, white, and blue is just what you need for your all-American Insta picture. You know, the one where you make the driver pull over on the side of the road so you and your bestie can snap a photo in the tall...

Why constrict your arms in sleeves of any length? Good old Abe knows sleeves only hinder maximum fist pumping, gun displaying, and pong ball throwing, which is why he'd vote to abolish sleevery. We all have the right to be free, shouldn't our arms be included in that right?

Ladies....let your t-shirt tell the world what your intentions are tonight. Alert all who hang with you, that you're a proud American who's planning on getting rip roaring tanked. You've officially been warned.

More than George Washington riding a bald eagle eating a nitrate-full hotdog. More than fireworks over a Nascar crash. More than the Statue of Liberty line-dancing to Garth Brooks. More than Abe Lincoln smoking Marlboro Lights outside a Piggly Wiggly. You're American AF!

You like cats? That's ok, after all this is America. The land of acceptance and freedom to choose cats over dogs. Proudly proclaim your love of feline and country by exclaiming "Ameowica! and donning this cozy tee. The patriotic kitty stares wide-eyed at onlookers who won't get enough of its...