How each Myers-Briggs Type Reacts to a Dead Body

Just for fun, with no intent to insult. I am a Myers-Briggs type fanatic and I had to write this one up 😀

Each Myers-Briggs type stumbles across a dead body in their yard:

ISTJ: “This should not be here. It’s horrible and ugly and messing up my carefully-placed garden.”

ISFJ: “Believe it or not, this interests me. No one would believe it, but I have a bit of morbid curiosity about me. Someone should call this guy’s family, I guess, but I’m going to get a good peek and run.”

INFJ: “Maybe he’s not dead. I will perform CPR and finally get to be a hero. YES. I have dread about this in the pit of my stomach, but it’s mixed with a seriously exhilarating dose of excitement. Finally life isn’t so boring any more.”

ENFJ: “I totally know who this is and who did it. Let’s send counselors over for the family. Maybe I can volunteer.”

INFP: “Let me weep uncontrollably first and then I shall write a beautiful poem about this. My stars, this shall be my muse for decades to come.”

ISTP: “I’ll walk around the body and not talk about what I saw or how I felt or how I currently feel. You’ll never hear anything from me unless I choose to turn this into a comedy routine in the future.”

ENFP: “The OUTRAGE. I will solve this case and figure out who did it. I will make it right and then spend months in therapy for being depressed about this case.”

ESFP: “I’m going to waltz on my way and pretend I never saw that. Just keeping looking at the pretty sky. Pretty sky…”

ISFP: “Poor, poor, poor guy. Poor, poor guy…”

ESFJ: *sits down and screams* “Nooooooo! I wanted to go my whole life without ever seeing a dead body! I need to buy flowers and dedicate my life to helping his family once I get over screaming and crying.”

ESTJ: *holding a large gun* “Are there children involved? Let’s call my buddy social workers and get this situation under control. We’ll also call my buddies on the police force. I do both jobs well.”

ENTJ: “Conquest happens. Bombs need to drop. Heads need to roll. I will parade through the neighborhood with a megaphone until that cretin comes crawling to me in fear and confesses.”

INTP: “Huh. I could logically figure out how this happened if I cared.”

ESTP: “Dude, I guess crazy stuff happens in this neighborhood. I need to tell my friends all about it.”

ENTP: “Man alive. I meant to kill that guy. Someone got to him first while I was distracted with my choice of new high-tech weapons.”