Annals of Athena

I'm so sorry that Bubbie, Phoebe's fiance, died! Phoebe is heartbroken now! I wish I could think of something to say to make Phoebe feel better! All I can think of to do is to purr for her. Purrrrr, purrrr, purrr, purrr, purrrrrrrrr. . .

What a disagreeable experience! I just didn't know WHAT to think! My two humans, who are always saying how much they love me, grabbed me and put me into some kind of black bag thing with a zipper so I couldn't get out. Then they took me outside--yes, right out of my palace, the Cat Mahal--and put me in the car! And took me away!

I just couldn't believe it. "What is this?" I thought. "Some kind of betrayal? A catnapping? Are they taking me away somewhere to hold me for ransom? But these are MY HUMANS! If they don't want me, who'll pay the ransom?"

And then I remembered that horrible shelter and I thought. . . . But no, they wouldn't! They love me! I know they love me!

I meowed and meowed.

Finally the car stopped. They took me into a funny-smelling place where there was a DOG--I couldn't see him, but I could certainly smell him. It smelled a lot like the shelter and I started to feel even more afraid, even though the male human was holding the bag I was in. WHAT WAS NEXT?! WOULD I EVER SEE MY PALACE AGAIN?!

They took me into another room and put me on a metal table. I jumped off at once and tried to run away, behind a waste basket, but a man--not mine--picked me up and put me back. He asked me if I had ever been a junkyard kitty. (Me! A junkyard kitty!) My humans were there and put their hands on me too, and started to rub my head. That made me feel a little better, because at least I could see that they weren't dumping me there and leaving.

The man felt me all over and looked at my teeth (he did say they were nice; I appreciated the compliment) and inside my ears. He stuck me with a couple of sharp things. That was bad, but being a princess, I did not return the favor (although I certainly could have!). Then he put me on a scale thing and said something that made my humans smile. I was feeling very confused.

I've set up a throne on the arm of the loveseat in the sitting room. This is a convenient spot where I can rest and graciously accept attention from my humans. They can sit comfortably on the loveseat, next to the arm, and pet me as much as they wish; when I jump up onto the designated spot, they know I am at leisure and favorably disposed to receive their adulation. I could sit on their laps, I suppose, but somehow that doesn't seem sufficiently dignified. The loveseat arm is higher, and, what's more, it's exclusively mine--they don't sit there. It's white, and I have carefully decorated it with black fur tracery. A perfect petting station!

The audience is assembled in one place and is ready to listen (that is, they will be, as soon as I wake them up!). I am, as usual, in excellent voice; it's a grand night for meowing, and my tail is definitely riding high. All I need to do is bring in the green catnip mousie as my prop and I'm ready to begin!

"Oh catnip mouse, the fur, the fur is flying, from chair to chair, and also on the rug. . . ."

Oh, I know where it is, and it is usually open, so I could have gotten in at any time. But I would have had to jump to the top of the washing machine. It's not that that would be too high for me--I jump to the top of the kitchen counter often (MOL--should I admit that?), and the height is the same. But the washing machine is weird--it often shakes and makes funny noises, and I never know when it will start. It would hardly be dignified for a princess to be caught jumping onto it while it was doing that! So I was a bit hesitant to just jump up.

So, I sat on the floor next to it and meowed and meowed, and got louder and louder. Finally, the penny dropped! One of the humans picked me up and put me on top of the washing machine. It was kind of disappointing--it turned out there was nothing much there--but there was a shelf above the washing machine that looked as if it might be worthwhile to investigate. (I could just see it if I stretched my neck.) Unfortunately, there was no room for me to get on it. So I tried again--meow, Meow, MEOW! The human was more attentive this time and immediately cleared a space for me and helped me up. And this was worthwhile! There were lots of soft placemats that didn't have a single bit of my hair on them. Well, I fixed that! And a nice pile of cloth napkins, too!

My back and sides are mostly black, but on my right side there is a white spot, sort of like a star, and you can see this in the photo, too. The humans call this my kissing spot. I call it my humans-can-be-pesty spot. I wish they would think less about kissing my star (yes, yes, I know they love me) and more about my dignity. I'm a princess, after all!

I had a red collar before, and it was nice because it had a beautifully scalloped edge. But it was getting a bit shabby looking because I had cleaned it so often. So it was time for a new collar, and I wanted to go all pink this time!

A big gray cat came up on MY DECK and stared at me through the glass door. How dare he come onto MY TERRITORY to chase MY BIRDS! I was so indignant! My tail fluffed out to three times its normal size and began thumping! I ran up to the door and started banging on it with my paws to tell him to get lost. Aside from catster friends, I don't want any visitors here at the Cat Mahal! (I do allow the humans to occasionally invite other humans, provided they behave well and show me proper deference.) He just kept sitting and staring at me and wouldn't go away until my human came and chased him away for me. There is some advantage to humans being so big!

Humans have such strange and dangerous bathing habits. Imagine actually choosing to immerse yourself in water! When one of my humans does this, I feel it's best for me to stay close and supervise in case of any trouble. (I've trained them so carefully--I certainly wouldn't want to lose one!)

This morning I was sitting on the side of the tub observing a human while she (meowgh) immersed herself. Occasionally she moved her toes up for me to sniff, so I could see that she was still okay (or maybe she thought I would be entertained by something so silly?). Suddenly I felt something strange on my tail and turned my head to look. The tip of my tail had dropped down into the water! It felt so strange!

I didn't immediately know what to do. I felt anxious, so naturally my tail started thumping up and down--going in and out of the water! I couldn't stop it! Finally I gathered my wits together and jumped off the side of the tub. My tail was so wet! I had to run around and around the house to make it dry off.