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Wednesday, June 3, 2020

CIB Breaking Nightmare News--Unprecedented Trump had a path blazed through peaceful demonstrators in front of the White House on Monday to uphold his articles of faith in front of St John's Episcopal Church.

Unprecedented Trump brandishing an unknown book, upside-down and cover-concealed. The CIB has learned this is his personal copy of Hitler's My New Order. (Photo: BRENDAN SMIALOWSKI/AFP VIA GETTY IMAGES)

Hidden in a plain leather binding, this is Trump's personal copy of Hitler's speeches. Ivanka Trump brought it along in her $1,540 MaxMara handbag.

Attorney General William "Vyshinsky" Barr personally ordering police to clear the streets for Trump's "Bible" stunt. Scholars differ about whether a comparison with notorious Attorney General A. Mitchell Palmer or Andrey Yanuaryevich Vyshinsky is more appropriate.

Peaceful protestors being gassed by Barr's stormtroopers to clear a path for Trump's biblical pilgrimage. Evangelicals have compared this miracle to the parting of the Red Sea.

If a city or state refuses [to call in the National Guard] then I will deploy the United States military and quickly solve the problem for them... As we speak, I am dispatching thousands and thousands of heavily armed soldiers, military personnel, and law enforcement offices to stop the rioting, looting, vandalism assaults and the wanton destruction of property.

It sickened me yesterday to see security personnel—including members of the National Guard—forcibly and violently clear a path through Lafayette Square to accommodate the president's visit outside St. John's Church... Even in the midst of the carnage we are witnessing, we must endeavor to see American cities and towns as our homes and our neighborhoods. They are not “battle spaces” to be dominated, and must never become so... Our fellow citizens are not the enemy, and must never become so... This is not the time for stunts. This is the time for leadership.

After the failures of the Mueller Report, the House impeachment, and the courts to bring constitutional order to the Trump regime, what is still separating us from the military imposition of the Trumpian New Order?

Ivanka Trump carrying the infamous "Bible" to the St John's stunt. Fashion critics agree that her new pandemic line is a considerable improvement on her frilly Peggy Shippen failure. This seems to be the one redeeming feature of the event. In all other respects, however, she is still living up to her role model.

Unpresidential Donald "Mr. Burns" Trump (right) standing next to his lapdog AG William "Smithers Vyshinsky" Barr (left), who said that “Groups of outside radicals and agitators are exploiting the situation to pursue their own separate and violent agenda.”

Saturday, February 29, 2020

CIB Breaking Pandemonium News--Under attack for downplaying the threat from the incipient Covid-19 pandemic, Unprecedented Trump lashed out at Democrats for supposedly weaponizing the disease for political gain.

Trump reminded the American people of his unpresidented record in avoiding sexually transmissible diseases (STDs) during the Vietnam War.

“It’s amazing, I can’t even believe it. I’ve been so lucky in terms of that whole world, it is a dangerous world out there. It’s like Vietnam, sort of. It is my personal Vietnam. I feel like a great and very brave solider,” Trump said in the interview when Howard Stern asked how he handled making sure he wasn’t contracting STDs from the women he was sleeping with.

Trump now reassures the American people that his proven microbe-avoiding abilities will protect them from the spread of Covid-19, which was anyway a Chinese hoax like climate change. America should invest in his Great Wall instead of fake science like public health.

Trump compared his appointment of Vice President Pence as Covid-19 coordinator to his use of condoms during this promiscuous period of his career.

This has earned the Vice President the nickname Preservative Pence, which has begun to replace his previous nickname Public-Health-Prayer Pence.

About Me

I'm a research economist at UNU-MERIT (Maastricht, The Netherlands) and IIASA (Laxenburg, Austria) with a specialization in the economics of innovation, complex dynamics, economic growth and evolutionary economics. By the 2008 world crisis at the latest it became clear that macroeconomics, financial markets and economic policy cannot be entrusted anymore to mainstream economists. Hence this blog.