good story.
I think you wrote a realistic story. the only thing i was missing a bit was zack talking some small talk with cloud. he always only talked about what cloud was hiding, nothing else.
they were friends, right?
cheers
yuura

Hmmm. I keep comparing RapeVictim!Cloud to MindrapeVictim!Cloud and on the one hand he's overly expressive, but on the other he's a lot less traumatized at this stage of his life, poor dear. The Zach in my head is going dead white at the very idea that this is relatively mild in terms of shit that fucks up Cloud, even if it's a shitstorm that drags you down by the sheer tawdriness of it.

Anyway, since you got into Cloud's head a couple of chapters ago this has read increasingly like a proper story about coping with sexual abuse trauma, and less like a covert attempt at non-con titillation while being outwardly righteous on the subject, which a horrifying number of supposedly anti-rape fanfics are and which this looked to be becoming for a couple of chapters, with all the whimpering and vulnerability max-out. So yay. Still not totally sold on the Cloud, but at this point it's about my personal understanding of a character it's possible to read a lot of different ways with equal legitimacy.

And poor reliable SOLDIER First Fair being such a good person. Aww. Always leaning on Zach, aren't you Cloud, even when you'd rather not lean on anyone. There haven't been any references to Angeal or Genesis or that whole mess, or to Kunsel for that matter, or Zach's Turk buddies, or even Aerith, and Sephiroth seems more outgoing and less fragile than he was in the game, especially after Modeoheim-shall I assume this isn't following Crisis Core canon, even if it is from '10?

Yeah, okay, I guess with Cloud's personality that is also possible. He's a much more reactive than proactive person. I liked this chapter much better. Less with the whimpering. Yay for healthy attempts to deal with aftermath.

Hmn. Trigger warnings please, dude. Warnings for 'angst' and warnings for 'rape' are different goddamn things.

And Cloud has been doing way too much whimpering. And cringing, for that matter. His response to pain has never been to shy away like that; he keeps going until he shuts down. And in writing terms, when you pass a certain threshold of having a character whimper, it becomes their defining action, and Cloud is, after all, ridiculously stoic, so it strikes me as an unjust way to define him. Listless, sullen, nonresponsive Cloud is a reasonable trauma Cloud, but unless Zach is giving him PTSD flashbacks some of the panic and so on are very, very weird for a young man with pride who doesn't want to be seen as a victim.

Why has Rapist Fuckhead not turned up with defensive wounds, anyway? Unless he's got a Stop or Slow materia or a gang, or is already SOLDIER, Cloud should be able to put up a fight on each occasion. Maybe he just never did a lot of damage or never did it somewhere visible.

I'm horrified and astounded that you left the story there. I don't really feel like there's been any resolution, and it's mildly frustrating. Still, it's a good, plausible, well-written story, and I'm glad I read it.

Thank you for sharing it with the world.

Emily chapter 1 . 3/3/2010

This first part is really good, it's probably the best fanfic that I've read in a long time...? Nothing needs to be changed at all

Whew boy! This has been a long time coming, yeah? And you are a different person ending this story than you were when you began it. It's not really ended, though. Cloud still has everything to deal with. The rapist is dead, but the squad doesn't trust Cloud, even though no one could rationally say he was culpable. The relationship between him and Zack is apparently continuing, but we don't know any more than that. So it's a lot like real life. Nothing is resolved tidily-we always have to deal with frayed edges, torn seams, holes in fabric too worn to mend...Cloud will survive and maybe begin to thrive. Sink or swim, you know? We muddle through, learning whenever there's time to reflect and process our experiences. I'm glad you finished the story. It might have nagged at you into your dotage...St. Peter at the Pearly Gates asking "...now about that story...". Now you can look him in the eye, and say "yeah...what did you think about that ending?". Bon chance... mc