Politically Correct Ways To Speak About Men
1. He does not have a beer gut; he has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE
FACILITY.
2. He is not quiet; he is a CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST.
3. He is not stupid; he suffers from MINIMAL CRANIAL DEVELOPMENT.
4. He does not get lost; he DISCOVERS ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
5. He is not balding; he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
6. He is not a cradle robber; he prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS.
7. He does not get falling-down drunk; he becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

Politically Correct Ways To Speak About Women
1. She is not a babe or a chick - she is a breasted-american.
2. She is not a bleached blonde - she is peroxide dependent.
3. She is not a bad cook - she is microwave compatible.
4. She is not half naked - she is wardrobe impaired.
5. She does not wear too much jewelry - she is metallically overburdened.
6. She is not conceited - she is intimately aware of her best qualities.
7. She does not want to be married - she wants to lock you in domestic
incarceration.
8. She does not gain weight - she is a metabolic underachiever.
9. She is not a screamer or moaner - she is vocally appreciative.
10. She is not easy - she is horizontally accessible.
11. She does not tease or flirt - she engages in artificial stimulation.
12. She is not dumb - she is a detour off the information superhighway.
13. She is not too skinny - she is skeletally prominent.
14. She does not have a mustache - she is in touch with her masculine side.
15. She does not hate televised sports - she is athletically ignorant.
16. She has not been around - she is a previously enjoyed companion.
17. She does not wear too much perfume - she commits fragrance abuse.
18. She does not get you excited - she causes temporary blood displacement.
19. She is not kinky - she is a non-inhibited sexual companion.
20. She does not have a killer body - she is terminally attractive.
21. She does not go shopping - she is mall fluent.
22. She is not an airhead - she is reality impaired.
23. She does not get drunk or tipsy - she gets chemically inconvenienced.
24. She does not get fat or chubby - she achieves maximum density.
25. She is not cold or frigid - she is thermally inaccessible.
26. She is not horny - she is sexually focused.
27. She does not wear too much makeup - she has reached cosmetic saturation.
28. She does not have breast implants - she is gravity resistant.
29. She does not nag you - she becomes verbally repetitive
30. she is not a slut - she is sexually extroverted.
31. She is not loose - she is morally impaired.
32. She does not have major league hooters - she is pectorally superior.
33. She does not have thin lips - she is has a collagen deprivation.