.

There's a food power play going on at my house. One kid and one parent perform a verbal duel until one or the other (usually the parent) is flayed alive. It's quite funny to watch in a masochistic kind of way. It usually takes place during the summer, coincidentally when my step kids come to stay.

Scene I, Duel I... Dad vs. Son... One Fine Morning

Dad: "What would you like for breakfast? Eggs or bacon." (En garde!)Kid: "Neither." (Quick return jab!)Dad: "You've got to eat something! You need your energy for all the fun we're going to have today!" (Good side step!)Kid: "You don't have any food I like." (Counter-parry!)Dad: "How about we go get you some food you like, buddy?" (Losing ground!)Kid: (Unenthusiastically) "Okay." (Maintain the pain!)

Intermission

Scene 2, Duel I... Dad vs. Son... $60 Later

Dad: "Here's your cereal! Bon appetit!" (Classic feint!)Kid: "This tastes funny. I don't like it." (First blood!)Dad: "But you choseit! You said you like it!" (Backing into a corner!)Kid: "It's weird tasting! We should have gone to Stater Bros! The food from Albertsons tastes bad!" (Attack!)Dad: "Okay. We'll go to Stater Bros. later." (GAME! Set and match!)

Dad limps off stage bleeding from multiple wounds. Kid triumphantly flings the contents of his plate into the disposal, then pulls a Snickers bar from his pocket.

I'm eagerly awaiting the next scene wherein Dad parts with more hard earned currency only to have the Kid declare that the food is inedible due to it not being purchased during a solar eclipse and delivered to our door by twelve flying ninja monkeys.

It drives me crazy when my kids won't eat what they are given! As a child I had to eat whatever or I went hungry...why can't we as a]parents maintain the same standard? Maybe that's why so many kids are overweight these days, because we let them dictate what they eat. I don't know how I allowed this to happen, but it's going to end!!:~D

I'm pretty sure this is a tactic that kids use against the parent they are visiting, as a form of punishment for them leaving. Your rendition of the interaction is almost exactly what happens at our house almost every other weekend! Do you also get the, "but at mom's house..." thing too? It's taken awhile, but DH is slowly starting to see he's been manipulated by his children for years!

The Ready Store

Hilariosity...

Daughter: Mum tried to throw me off the top of the Empire State Building but there's a fence around it so she couldn't.--------------------

Son: What was Jesus' real name?

--------------------

Son: (At the Christmas tree lighting ceremony) What's happening now?Mother: They're about to light the tree.Son: On FIRE?(It's hard to adequately portray the glee with which this was said.)--------------------Daughter: Who is Tiger Woods?

Sister: May I have some of your cake?Sister: From the bottom of my bottomless stomach... NO.--------------------Son: (observing the High School classrooms) I know why the windows don't open. So the kids can't escape.--------------------Son: (upon discovery of contraband in pants pocket) I was just looking at it! Only a gangster would take a cap gun to church!--------------------Daughter: Hey! You can't copy what I wrote! That's polygamy!--------------------Daughter: Isn't Mark Twain like, "old" and "dead"?--------------------Grandmother: I'm 84 but I've got a good life... I've got my family, I've got my friends... Wait, no! All my friends is dead!--------------------Sister: I'm going to open the door but I'm sitting on the toilet so don't look, ok?Brother: okSister: I TOLD YOU NOT TO LOOK!Brother: But you're blocking the view!--------------------Sister: I spoke to her and she agreed.Sister: Is she awake?Sister: No, I talked to her self-consciously.--------------------13 yr old Daughter: What do I do with the bun in the oven?Mother: ...choke...--------------------Child: It's the shape of a box, only it's round.----------------------Child: Can I have some chocolate?Mother: Eat lunch first.Child: I did.Mother: What did you have?Child: Nothing.