Author's infos

Introduction:

Gina's excited to go to her idol's concert and has hopes of meeting the band. She does get to meet them but gets a lot more than she bargained for.

I'm With The Band

Gina knew she looked hot in her tiny miniskirt that showed her ass with only the smallest of movements. She wore only a thong under the skirt. Her top was tight showing her tits off well. A final look in the mirror assured her that the boys in the band would definitely be noticing her tonight. She put a final touch on her heavy eye makeup and shook her head to make her hair look even messier and sluttier.

Before the concert began, Gina had charmed one of the security guys and he'd let her into the band's sanctum. The pre-party was in full swing with just a few people drinking and one girl was getting fucked on a couch set against the far wall. The girl was grunting and moaning as the guy fucked her hard, her short skirt pushed up, legs spread wide as the man drove his dick into her over and over again.

Someone handed Gina a drink and she heard someone cheer as the man fucking the girl said, “Fuck, oh fuck,” and then moan as he stopped moving while he pumped his cum deep into her. Gina took a sip of her drink and watched the man pull out and wipe his dick on the girl's thighs. He got up and after tucking back into his jeans, stood up and walked away from the girl without a backwards glance, leaving her with large tits exposed and legs spread wide open with cum glistening and dripping down her legs.

The girl was slow to move and suddenly another man was on top of her saying he wanted sloppy seconds. Before the girl could say anything, the man had shoved his dick into her wet cunt and was fucking her hard and fast while holding on to her hips and saying, “Yeah, oh yeah, baby, fuckin good.” The girl started grunting again as her body rocked from the force of the man fucking her so hard. A few guys were standing by the couch watching them, and Gina wondered if they were all going to fuck her right here in front of everyone.

She got her answer a minute later when the man fucking her drove hard into her cunt and came with a loud groan. When he pulled out a moment later, another man with his dick already out and ready, pushed the girls legs back and thrust into her cunt and fucked her fast while holding on to her ankles as he drove into her again and again, coming fast while saying, “Fuck it, coming, oh fuck.”

Gina felt someone behind her, then felt a finger push all the way up into her cunt and she nearly dropped her drink. It felt good though and she let the man fuck her cunt with his finger. Someone said to her, “There's a party on the bus with the band after the show. They'd like you to be there. Okay, honey?”

Gina said, “Yes, where?” and the guy told her to go to the buses in the back right after the show because that's where the real party was, and if security bothered her, to tell them she was with the band. It was time to leave so that she could get a decent spot as close to the front as possible, to view the concert. As she left the room another guy climbed on the girl on the couch and thrust his dick into her cunt, saying to her, “Calm down, honey, there's only a few more of us.”

She went up the long passageways to the main concert floor and got a spot right where she wanted. The music would be good but Gina really wanted to meet the band and thought it would be fun to sleep with the lead singer and thought she might get that chance. Gina felt quite honored to be asked and wondered what the band would do if they knew her real age was sixteen and not eighteen like her ID showed. If the band guy who looked at her ID thought it wasn't right, he sure didn't show it.

When the concert was over, Gina went to the back of the venue and saw the buses and a lot of people milling around. She walked toward the buses and a security guy asked her where she was going. She told him she was with the band as she'd been told and a guy looked over at them and nodded. He came over and told her to follow him and they walked to one of three buses and he told her to get in. The door opened and Gina walked up the steps and saw there were a couple of the band guys already there and a couple of slutty looking girls.

A man gave her a drink and told her to drink up. He looked her up and down and asked her name. She told him and he said to drink up and he'd be back. The man walked over to one of the band members and bent over and said something to him while pointing back at her. Both the men smiled and the man came and got Gina and introduced her to the bass player. He patted the space next to him and said, “Have a seat, Jeri, and someone bring her another drink.”

“It's Gina.”

“What?” the bass player said.

“My name is Gina.”

“Okay, honey, whatever. Have a drink.” He then turned to another girl seated on the other side of him, pulled her top down, grabbed a tit and started sucking it. The girl looked at Gina and smirked a little, basically saying he likes me more.

Gina gulped down her drink and another guy sat down next to her, telling her to drink up, and giving her yet another drink. She was starting to get drunk but it was a good buzz so she kept drinking. The girl getting her tits sucked by the bass player now had another guy's fingers fucking her cunt. The guy sitting next to Gina started fondling her tits and she wasn't sure what to do. Her goal was to sleep with the lead singer but she didn't want to piss anyone off, so she decided to go along with it. She noticed another girl was being taken somewhere in the back of the bus.

The guy feeling her up had pulled her tits out and was sucking them. She felt another hand on one tit and now she had two guys sucking her tits. Gina was panting a little and was lying on her back as the two guys had slowly pushed her almost all the way down while sucking her tits. Her tiny skirt was pushed up and she felt a finger pushing her thong aside, then start fucking in and out of her cunt.

Gina heard the bus start and then begin to move, and she wondered where she'd end up. She caught a glimpse of the lead singer looking the party over and noticed that the bass player was now fucking the other girl after having pulled her down on the floor. A couple of guys were cheering him on, and then someone was saying, “Hey, someone get a dick in that one.”

Gina realized they meant her when she felt her legs being spread wide after someone pulled her thong off. She felt a dick shove roughly in and start pounding in and out fast while they slid a little as the bus turned. Two guys were still sucking her tits and her ass was half off the couch and the guy was on he knees while he fucked her. He held her ankles while he fucked her then grabbed her ass and started thrusting in much harder and very fast until he pumped his cum into her, groaning as he did.

Someone told the lead singer to fuck Gina, and he said okay but bring her to the back, so two guys picked her up and carried her to the back of the bus. Ten or so guys were surrounding the other girl who was on the floor on all fours getting fucked in her mouth and her cunt. Gina felt a dick slide up her cunt and then another up her ass. The two guys carrying her were holding he upright between them and had impaled her on their dicks and were now bouncing her up and down. Guys on either side of her were kneading her bouncing tits then biting her nipples hard, trying to hang on to those tits as they bounced.

The guy fucking her cunt shouted out that he was going to come and started pushing up hard into her which caused her ass to clench tighter around the other dick and he too began fucking harder and deeper coming just moments after the other guy. The both went still as their dicks pulsed and twitched while they pumped their cum into both of Gina's holes. When they pulled out, Gina felt their cum running down her legs.

Someone grabbed Gina from behind and bent her over and thrust his dick into her cunt. The lead singer walked up to her and grabbed her hair and shoved his dick in her mouth and started pumping furiously. He was pulling her hair so hard it hurt but Gina didn't mind too much because her idol was fucking her mouth and she wanted him to enjoy it. After he came, the lead singer pulled her head up high so everyone could see the cum dripping out of her mouth. He said to everyone in the room, “Someone hose her off,” and one of the guys pissed into Gina's open mouth as her idol held her head up.

She was pushed to the floor and all the guys in the back of the bus had at her, fucking all her holes and filling her with their cum. When they were done, Gina was carried back to the front of the bus and someone pushed her cunt onto a guy laying on a table. Then first one guy started fucking her ass and then another guy shoved in beside him so that Gina had three dicks in her holes, one in her cunt and two in her ass, all thrusting hard and deep into her for what seemed liked forever before she felt their dicks twitch and heard them groan while they pumped their cum into her.

One of the other girls was being fucked hard in the ass by some huge guy and she started to scream and tell him it hurt and to stop. He laughed and fucked her harder, pulling her head way back while he savaged her cunt, finally stopping when he came, shouting out as he pumped his cum in deep. The girl probably would have screamed some more but the guy pissing down her throat prevented that. When the guy pulled out, he wiped his dick on the girl's ass, then slapped her hard and saying what a useless cunt she was.

He told someone to find her clothes and then told the bus driver, who was cut off from viewing the party, to contact the other bus and arrange to stop so the guys on the other bus could join the party. When the buses stopped they were in the middle of nowhere. The girl who'd been screaming was fucked a last time and a few guys pissed in her holes and on her body. Two guys then carried her off the bus, threw her down onto the side of the road and tossed her clothes at her. The buses both left and the girl was left to deal, lying at the side of the road and sobbing.

When the buses started moving again, the man who'd gotten rid of the other girl looked at Gina and asked her if she had any problem servicing the rest of the guys. She was scared she'd be left like that too, so she said no problem and thrust out her tits, shaking them until a couple of the guys started sucking them while pushing her down and another guy shoved his dick in her cunt and started pumping hard into her. These were the roadies and others who kept the band on track, and all twenty of them had at Gina at least twice each before they tired of her.

At some point, the lead singer came up front to fuck Gina, saying he needed some new ass and hoped she wasn't too sloppy. He groaned as he sunk his dick into Gina's cunt then started pumping fast, starting shallow and going deeper and deeper as he gripped her hips so tightly they were bruised. His band mates cheered him on as he pounded into Gina, and again when he slapped her ass and asked her if she was ready for his cum, then fucked her hard for a couple of minutes and finished by slamming in hard and almost picking her up off of the floor as he rammed his dick in deep while his cum pulsed into Gina's cunt.

It was now very late at night as the bus continued to roll along, and the partying continued. The party bus was full of very young males who were used to partying and fucking all night long, and it seemed that the whole crew on the party bus was up for fucking Gina again, and they went at it in a drunken and drugged frenzy, with dick after dick shoving into her cunt and her ass, many of them fucking her for a long time since they were on their third or fourth turn.

Gina was wiped out, it had been a long night and her cunt and ass hurt and she wanted to stop. When she tried to say that she needed to stop, someone said to bring her to the back. Someone yelled something about her being the breakfast treat and a cheer went up. Two guys carried Gina to the back of the bus leaving a trail of cum dripping from her holes. Gina tried to protest but was very tired and there were too many guys.

In the back, her hands were tied behind her back and she was forced onto her knees on the floor. Two dicks immediately went into her cunt and ass and started thrusting deep, and got a good rhythm going. Both guys were pretty fucked out so they went on and on for a good half an hour, pounding into Gina over and over. She started whimpering and someone told her to shut up and slapped her face hard. Then a few other guys slapped her and finally two guys picked her head up by the hair and held it up while forcing her mouth open.

Another guy shoved his dick down her throat making her gag. They all wondered what kind of slut couldn't take a dick down her throat and decided to teach her how, so a line started for guys wanting to teach the bitch how to deep throat, and one after another they slapped her and shoved their dicks deep into her throat and pounded in hard, just fucking the hell out of her mouth. When they were ready, they took turns coming into her open mouth, telling her not to swallow until they were all done.

Gina's mouth was filled with cum, too much to swallow and she choked but they held her mouth closed and forced her to keep swallowing. When she had swallowed all those loads of cum, someone pinched her nose causing her to open her mouth again while a few guys pissed down her throat as she tried to swallow to keep up with it. They were pissing at the same time and laughing like hell as her mouth filled up and she could barely breath as she tried to swallow.

While this went on, she was being marathon fucked by someone with a huge dick who drove in fast and deep. His stamina was amazing and he didn't let up for well over half an hour, finally coming after a series of loud grunts, his dick pumping his cum deep into Gina. When he was done, he pulled out, slapping Gina's ass. She started crying and someone slapped her face. One of the guys had the idea of covering her face so a pillowcase was put over Gina's head and a hole for her mouth ripped out so they could still fuck her mouth.

The boys in the band continued to fuck Gina for the rest of the night and until mid morning the next day. Gina was indeed the breakfast treat. She was placed on her back on the floor while her arms and legs were held down, and guys sat on the floor around her, and put their breakfast food on her chest and stomach and used her body as their collective plate, eating off of her. The hood had been removed at this point and a few guys fucked her mouth while the others ate their breakfast.

When they were done, Gina was a greasy mess so a few guys pissed on her to clean her off then flipped her over and ten or so had at her one more time, fucking all her holes, some two dicks at a time. As the last couple of guys fucked Gina, the rest of them jacked off in a circle around her and then started squirting their cum all over her body, streak after streak covering her like sticky white icing.

Someone asked where they were and someone else said outside of Chicago, so the bus was stopped and Gina was carried out and tossed to the side of the road, clothes thrown carelessly after her and someone told her she should get dressed because she was a mess. The bus took off down the road and Gina lay there, naked and covered with cum. She knew she had to move and get dressed before someone found her, and somehow she found the strength to do so.

Gina was on a fairly busy highway. She had done the best she could to clean up, using her top to wipe the cum off and then having to wear it. Her thong was long gone so she pulled her skirt down as far as she could, but it wasn't covering much. The only thing she could do was try to hitchhike back home to St. Louis and a truck driver finally stopped. He took one look at her, smiled a little and told her to hop in. In his mind it looked to be his lucky day.

He told her he'd stop off in St. Louis but she would have to repay him somehow, and a few of his friends too along the way. Gina had no choice but to agree since she was totally stranded without anything, and she was also starving. The truck driver told her he'd buy her breakfast at the next stop right after she paid him first with a fuck.

As they were driving towards the first stop, Gina listened to the man radio his friends all the way to St. Louis to meet him for a treat. It sounded like they all knew what he meant. She hoped they didn't all look like him, at least 40, fat, greasy, with yellow teeth, and a distinctive sour odor. Gina wasn't exactly looking great either, so when they got to their first truck stop, she asked to be able to clean up before getting down to business.

The truck driver just laughed at her and said, “Why have to clean up twice, little girl. The boys don't care about your stinking cunt, they just wanna fuck it fast and move on. Time to get in the back, honey.”

So Gina got into the tiny compartment where the driver slept. He pushed her skirt up and pulled on her tits until they were free from her top. Gina felt his hands pushing down on her so that her ass hung off of the sleeping pallet at just the right angle to be easily fucked. The truck driver squeezed her tits and pulled his dick out of his pants and she felt it slide into her. He hadn't bothered to take his pants off so all she felt was his dick moving in and out of her cunt as the zipper on his jeans rubbed against her sore entrance.

The truck driver pumped hard while grunting and was ready to come before two minutes had passed. Gina smelled his sour breath and felt almost crushed by his fat body as he lay heavily on her while fucking hard into her cunt, finally slamming in deep and stopping while his dick pulsed cum deep in and he grunted his pleasure. When he was done, the driver pulled out right away, wiped his slimy dick on Gina's thighs and told her to keep her legs spread because the next guy would be right in.

Next up was a younger, but just as smelly guy who told Gina to spread 'em wider and who pulled his dick out and got down to fucking her right away. He didn't last as long as the driver before him, thrusting hard and coming as he kept fucking erratically into Gina's cunt. He told her to stay put because there were more waiting for her. Gina asked him how many more and the guy shrugged and said, “Bitch, I don't know, but Leo told me he's recruiting for takers. He probably wants to make a few bucks off of his good fortune. Just enjoy it while it lasts, slut. All you gotta do is lie there.”

Gina wanted to cry and she was so tired and hungry but knew there was no way out of this, so she just lay there, legs spread wide, cum dripping out steadily as a long line of unattractive, smelly, fat men shoved dick after dick into her cunt, fucking her hard until they filled her with their cum. Gina was thankful that most of them were done in just a minute or two.

The driver had the guys ready to go but kept them in small groups waiting to fuck Gina. He didn't want to be obvious and have the cops investigate, and that was mostly why he asked everyone if they were interested so there wouldn't be anyone pissed off by omission. His good friends got free ass, but the rest paid him $20 each for that sweet young ass. It took hours to let everyone in and by midnight, Gina had taken over 200 loads of cum. When the last guy was done, the truck driver climbed in back for his last fuck, climbing on top of Gina and putting his dick deep in, then slamming into her cunt again and again until he groaned and shot his load into her.

When he pulled out, he noticed how much come was on the floor and he was pretty pissed off about it. He told Gina to lick it up and that they weren't going anywhere, nor would she get to eat or wash up until it was all cleaned up. She was disgusted but there was no way out, so Gina lapped up as much cum as she could, and finally he handed her a towel and told her to wipe the rest up. He let her clean up while he got her food which she gratefully ate in the back of the truck.

The driver wanted to sleep then, so he tied her hands and feet and had her lie on the still sticky floor to sleep while he slept on the pallet. Gina woke up sometime the next day, still on the floor. The truck was moving and she vaguely wondered where they were. Soon enough she found out as the truck pulled in to another stop. It was late afternoon when the driver got into the back, pulled Gina up off the floor and pushed her onto her stomach so that her ass was in the air ready to be fucked. Her hands and feet were still tied as he thrust his dick deep into her cunt and pumped hard, coming fast with a loud grunt.

He pulled out and told her to stay put until he got back with food and a few of his friends he'd promised could fuck her. She wanted to clean up but he told her it wasn't going to happen. He gave her a can to piss in before he left her tied up and locked in the truck. When the driver got back he untied Gina and gave her a burger and fries and told her to eat up. He had her lay back and spread her legs and put the piss can between them to catch the cum, then told her to relax and enjoy while it lasted.

A line of men fucked Gina for the next five or six hours, and by midnight another fifty had a go at her gaping cunt. The cum can was half full and when Gina had fucked the last man, the driver made her drink the cum and piss mixture, telling her it was good for her. When she tried to drink it and gagged, he held her head by her hair, and slapped her face a few times, then held her head back and literally poured the cum down her throat until she swallowed it all. Then he fucked her again, coming in her mouth when he was ready, holding her mouth closed and telling her to swallow his hot cum.

He went to sleep then, leaving the floor for Gina to try and sleep. She woke up late the next morning feeling the truck moving again and getting up and asking how close they were to St. Louis. The driver laughed and said they'd be stopping soon for the rest of the day and night, and that she'd be busy for a long time, so to be ready and that tomorrow there would be one more stop and then he'd drop her off in St. Louis.

The driver brought her another burger, fucked her, then made her lie down and spread her legs. Once again, the cum bucket was placed and Gina shuddered thinking about having to drink it all again. The men at this particular truck stop were pretty rough and liked to slap her when they were done with her. Gina was fucked and slapped around by at least 200 guys, most of whom the driver didn't actually know but who paid him the $20 each for access to the cunt in the truck.

The stream of men fucking Gina seemed endless to her. She felt one dick after another rock her body as the men thrust hard and fast into her cunt and ass, filling her quickly with their cum which dripped continuously down her legs and into the cum can. They fucked her, came in her, slapped her and told her she was a filthy slut whose only worth was being a cum bucket. When at last they were done, the driver got back in the truck, dick already out and ready to go. He got between Gina's cum smeared legs and pulled back the skin around Gina's cunt, and telling her what a slut she was with cum dripping out of her like that and her thighs sticky with cum.

He put his dick in her though and held tightly onto her hips as he fucked her mercilessly, grunting with every thrust, and finally pulsing his cum into Gina as he called her a fucking whore. The driver pulled out, pushed Gina onto the floor and sat on her chest. He picked up the almost full cum can and pinched Gina's nose to force her mouth open, then slowly poured the entire can of cum down her throat, telling her to drink it all like a good slut.

The driver went to sleep then, telling her no to cleaning up, and no to food, that she wasn't worth it, and that anyway she was full from the cum and that should be enough for a slut like her. Gina was too tired to cry and tried to sleep but was awakened in the middle of the night when she felt the driver fucking her cunt hard and deep then pulling out and thrusting deep into her ass and holding still while his dick twitched and his cum poured into Gina's ass. He told Gina they were making a stop just outside of St. Louis in about an hour. His friends were waiting, along with anyone else he could round up and that she'd put out one last time and then he'd drop her off.

This kept Gina going as she took dick after dick starting at about five a.m. and continuing until early afternoon. She was almost used to so many dicks fucking her although it was starting to hurt quite a bit. Finally it was over and the driver again made her drink from the cum can, telling her that's all she was getting, that she was lucky he'd given her a ride at all. He told her he'd take her and drop her off and told her to straighten up her clothes and try and look presentable.

The driver took her to a little used road on the outskirts of St. Louis, stopped the truck and told Gina to get out. He got out too and walked to her side of the truck. Here they were sheltered from view from the few cars actually using this road. He told Gina to bend over then pulled out his dick and thrust into her still cum sticky cunt and fucked her hard and deep. It was his last fuck of the cunt that had brought him more than $7000 over the last few days, his nice young pussy, not so tight anymore, but young anyway.

He really went at it out there, in the middle of nowhere but with the possibility that someone might see him fucking her. He was turned on and her sore cunt was all his and he reamed her mercilessly for a good ten minutes, fucking her as hard and deep as he could, slapping her ass again and again, until he got close and grabbed her hair, pulling her head way back while her body rocked as his dick slammed into her over and over. When the driver was almost ready to come, he suddenly kicked her legs wider apart, grabbed her hips so that Gina was bent over double and finished by pounding into her cunt while he held her immobile.

As he got closer to finishing, the driver started breathing heavily, and then started moaning as he fucked that cunt hard and felt the orgasm start to build, starting deep in his belly, tingling and taunting him with intense need, as every nerve in his body fired up and the sparks finally built into a fire that exploded and he saw stars and felt lightening bolts as cum poured out of his hard dick into Gina's cunt, twitching and pulsing until every drop was in her.

He pulled out, wiping his dick on Gina's ass and watched his cum drip slowly out of her cunt and move down her inner thighs. Her skirt was pulled down as far as it would go. Gina looked and felt dazed. That was one hard fuck after days of hard fucks. The driver said to her, “Aren't you gonna say thanks for the ride, you cunt?”

“Thanks. For the ride,” Gina said slowly.

“You're an ungrateful slut,” the driver said and slapped her face hard. “See ya around, bitch.”

Gina watched the truck drive away and looked around with dismay. She was literally in the middle of nowhere. At least she was dressed but imagined she looked like shit. She was dirty, her body sticky with cum and she smelled bad. How would she ever get out of here and home? Gina figured that she was probably about ten miles from home so decided to start walking. Just a little down that road, after slowly walking for ten minutes or so, a car appeared next to her, driving slowly as she walked.

Gina heard a voice say, “You want a ride?”

She turned and looked at the car and saw two guys in the front seat and one in the back seat, all looking at her, and debated in her mind whether she should accept. Gina really needed to get home, she was exhausted, and hungry and sore all over. She couldn't imagine they'd be any trouble but she gave them her address and asked if they could take her there. One of the guys said, “Sure we can, baby, get in.”

The back door of the car opened and the guy sitting there beckoned her to get in. Gina felt the car move and settled back hoping to be home very soon. When they got close to her neighborhood, the guy sitting next to her in the back seat said, “We're almost there so it's time for you to pay the toll.”

“The toll?” Gina asked.

“The price of the ride, baby. Rides aren't free. So how are you going to pay us?”

“I have money at my apartment,” Gina said.

“Money won't pay the toll, baby, but this will.” The guy reached over and pulled a tit out and started sucking it.

He sucked hard for a few moments then pulled off and said to the other guys, “This is good tasting tit, someone should taste the other one. You like this, don't you, baby?”

Gina felt the guy suck her tit again and then felt the other tit being pulled out and the other guy started sucking it, and despite her exhaustion, it did feel really good, and her cunt started aching and getting wet and she knew she would put out and give these guys what they wanted. The driver pulled into a deserted looking parking lot and parked the car. The car was old and had a large back seat so the driver got into the back and Gina felt him shove a finger into her cunt.

The other two guys kept sucking her tits while the driver pushed her skirt up and said, “Well, I see you're ready to go, honey. Tell me you want my dick in you.”

The guy spread her legs and lined up his dick and started slowly pushing in saying how much he wanted to be inside her and make her feel good. “Tell me it's okay, baby,” he pleaded.

Gina relented when the guys sucking her tits started moaning and kneading them, and the guy between her legs pushed farther into her aching cunt. She was breathing hard and tingling all over and suddenly really wanted these guys to fuck her so she told them to go ahead and do it, so they really went at it, all three of them pounding her cunt into the back seat while she panted and moaned and told them to keep sucking her tits.

The first guy spurted his cum into her after a fast two minute hard fuck. When he was done he switched places and sucked a tit while the next guy fucked Gina. He fucked her rough and fast while squeezing her ass while he pumped into her and groaned when his dick twitched and his cum squirted deep into Gina's cunt. He went back to tit sucking while the third guy shoved his dick into Gina's cum filled cunt, moving in and out slowly at first until he groaned and started thrusting fast and yelled out, “Fuck it, gonna come, fuck, fuck, fuck,” as he pumped into Gina, leaving her full of his hot, sticky cum.

When they were all done they told Gina to make herself presentable and then drove her close to her apartment and told her to get the fuck out because she was stinking up their car. The car stopped and the door opened and one of the guys pushed Gina out, literally kicking at her ass until she was out of the car and sprawled on the pavement. The car door slammed shut and the car sped away as the guys laughed loudly.

Gina walked the short distance to her apartment. She felt the cum running down her legs and hoped no one saw her. When she got to the apartment she realized she didn't have the key and hoped the one she'd stashed was still there. It was, and Gina's special concert event was finally over, as she stumbled inside slamming the door behind her and collapsing on the floor. She was home and would have one hell of a story to tell about this particular adventure.

Good job on appealing to tactile and olfactory senses. More descriptive passages (the deterioration of her clothes, jiggle of her braless tits) and using dialog to advance the narrative would make this an even better read.

Good job on appealing to tactile and olfactory senses. More descriptive passages (the deterioration of her clothes, jiggle of her braless tits) and using dialog to advance the narrative would make this an even better read.