dear ayal
hi my name is cindy and im not sure if I have this fibromyalsia??? my body constantly aches. ive tried every kind of medicine advil aleve tylenol vicaden muscle relaxers etc. this may sound funny but my skin even hurts. its takes a lot of praying to make myself get out of bed each morning. I havent been to a doctor yet but they will probably say "your to young to have cronic pain"and run all these extra test that cost lots of money. my husband thinks I take to much medicine. and he thinks its all in my head. when you hurt all the time its not in your head. im sorry im just babbling on but im trying to understand this disease, and to find out if this is what I have!! im only 32 and feel like im 82. do you have any info or names of any doctors or natural medicine info? thank you for your time. have a great day.

Hi - I know of a good naturopathic clinic in North Carolina, where I live, the Carolina Health Center, that does all kinds of tests, and is very comprehensive. People come there from all over. I can give you their phone number, and they may be able to refer you to other naturopathic centers in your area. It is (828) 684-5510.

In Asheville, North Carolina, there is a great medical doctor named Dr. John Wilson who also has a strong foot in the alternative healing world, and he is excellent. I highly recommend him. He runs the Great Smokies Medical Center.

There is also a good naturopathic doctor in St. Augustine, Florida named Dr. Garvey.

In Atlanta, I can recommend Dr. Mark Armstrong, a chiropractor and incredible healer who runs the Ahimki Clinic.

I think you have some bacteria that is causing this condition. Often a bad parasitic invasion can cause the fatigue and pain you are describing. I'd get tested for both

As I tune into you, however, an issue that is showing up for you is the ability to care for yourself. This has to do do with something that happened in your past. Where did that come from, that you believe you are unable to take care of yourself? You may also be needing to have some negative energy released from your space. Dr. Armstrong in Atlanta is the one for that.

Blessings, Ayal

good morning, thank you for the info on the dotors etc - that's pretty far for me to travel im in montana but maybe they can refer me to some one that is closer bye. im not sure what your saying about me not caring for myself? in the past? like abusing my body? actually as I sit here and think about your statement, im to busy to take care of myself. I have 4 children a husband and work in a nursinghome I take care of many many people the living and the dieing.

how do I release all my negative energy??? yes I do have a lot of negative energy you got that right!!!!! so you don't think I have fibromyasia??? you think bacteria ? so I need antibiotics??? or asks god to cleans my soul? thank you for your time have a wonderful day!!!

Well, we can gather negative energy around us and in us, sort of like a car windshield gathers dust and other yucky stuff. Negative energy is attracted to negative thoughts - each is a magnet for the other. So, for instance, if you have a lot of fearful thoughts going on, you attract the energy of fear into your space. Anger attracts anger, etc.

You can cleanse your energy by imagining a glowing white light above your head, and then let that light descend into your body, clearing away any energy that is not your Highest and truest self - i.e.: Love. What we truly are is the energy of love. After the light has traveled through your whole body, you let it flow into the earth from your feet. I'd do this in the morning and in the evening. Since you are working in a nursing home, there is likely a lot of sadness, thoughts of illness, fear, anger, and despair that you are around on a daily basis. We can pick that energy up from others, just as a dog senses fear from someone who is fearful. We sense energy the same way, although usually we do it unconsciously. I think that you are picking up a lot of stuff from the emotions of the people around you. Using the white light before you enter there will help. Also, only sending out loving thoughts to others helps as well, for it's like having a beautiful glowing light around you that doesn't allow energy other than that same love to enter into your space. In fact, surrounding yourself with the white light before you enter there every day, like a beautiful cocoon around you, would be a very important thing to do. Every day.

What will be important for you to do is to witness your energy, watch what you think and feel. Watch what kind of energy you put out into the world, and what you feel within yourself. If you find yourself fearful, see if you can shift that into thoughts of feeling trusting and safe. If you feel anger or sadness, change it into its opposite. That is the best way to keep your space clear. It's up to you, and how YOU choose to think and feel.

Let me tell you a story: I gave a party one night, and the next day my back was in serious pain, totally and badly tweaked out, spasming worse than it had in a very long time. I hadn't done anything to it. It was just in pain, feeling extremely fragile, and seriously out of whack. So, I called a healer who works with me and asked her what was going on. She asked me what I had been up to lately. I said, well, I had a party last night. She asked me if there had been someone there at the party who was jealous of me, and, when I thought of it, there WAS someone who seemed to be relating to me that way - a new woman friend of mine I was just getting to know. This woman had come to me a few weeks before for advice about her son. Her son had come to my husband and myself one night and stayed with us for a while when he was upset with her, as he was a young friend of ours - we were sort of a second family to him. He and she were having a really difficult time, and he had a lot of rage toward her. Although she was grateful for the advice, which she asked me for, there was also a sense from her that she was worried that she would be judged by me for not being a good enough mother, etc. She saw me as a help for her and her family, but also on some level, she was putting me above her and therefore saw me as a threat. My healer, who can see energy and energy patterns, told me that this woman had energetically jumped on my back, hoping that my energy would carry her along - sort of like someone jumping on the band wagon. As soon as I recognized that this was indeed what was going on, I released her energy from my back, and then it was fine. It was pretty revealing to me.

I think that you have a lot of people doing that with you. You are picking up their energy - this can happen because it can match places in yourself where you also feel fearful, sad, angry, etc. Sort of like how one magnet attracts another.

When I said that you may have a belief that you aren't able to take care of yourself - this means that you are a caretaker, as you mentioned. You take care of everybody else. Often, when we choose to do that, there can be a belief that we developed early on, as a young child, that that was our job - it was our job to take care of others, but not ourselves. As you said, there's hardly time to take care of yourself, and you are feeling the effects of that.

When we become caretakers - which isn't a bad thing if it comes from a clear and balanced choice - we often do so because no one really took care of us as children. In all likelihood, we had parents who were emotionally dysfunctional in some way and didn't know how to take care of themselves, or others, in a positive way. Therefore, the child decided that they had to do it. When this happens, the child thinks that they aren't worth being taking care of, because no one did that for them. So, they continue to take care of others, but not give nurturing to themselves. They usually end up having a hard time receiving nurturing from anyone, and they don't allow their own lives to be much fun, or very joyful. They can become angry martyrs even, at some point. It's all work, work work. So, they get deeply stressed out. This is very unbalanced, and can lead to all sorts of problems. It can also lead to issues of needing to control those around one. Since it is still the child inside feeling that they must take care of others, and even though they have become good at taking care of others, they still do so with a great amount of fear, or anger, or even sadness. Since taking care of others - who ought to be taking care of the child - is a fearful and difficult (and inappropriate) thing for a child to have to do, they do it with a lot of fear - and that means needing to control things so it won't get out of hand and prove too difficult to do. This is a whole other story, however, that I won't go into more at this point. But something, perhaps worth looking at to see if it applies to you.

I don't know whether or not you have fibromyalsia - I did get that you may have a bacteria in your system. Try taking echinacea and golden seal, which are herbal antibiotics and immune builders. You can get them at any health food store. See if that works. I'd take 6 drops of echinacea in a glass of water twice a day for 6 days - or, you can get a combination of the two in pill form.

I think the main thing going on here, though, is what has been discussed here. Nevertheless, it's always good to be checked out medically. Since you say you have been - I think this is what may be going on.

Blessings, Ayal

thank you for your advice, I will try this and hope fully it works. I will get these natural medicines also. im sure it takes awhile to actually figure all these things out. i mean get right down to the nitty gritty deep down in your heart and soul, things that you have hidden away in your mind locked them away. negative people thrive on getting happy people depressed. its hard to not let that get to you. I truly enjoy working with the elderly ive done it for 15 years it's a blessing in my life. to see them pass on is a sad time but also a nice time as I know they are going to a better place and will be happy and healthy. oh maybe I have more emotional problems than I think???? gosh im thinking to much im sorry I just keep babbling on. thank you for all your time and advice. have a wonderful day. p.s. should I be on a anti depressant?? ive already tried so many of them. is there a natural medication I can take ? really im not a crazy women from montana!!!! lol

Hi - you said in your last e-mail, "negative people thrive on getting happy people depressed." That's a belief. Beliefs are simply that. A belief. Where did you get that one from? Is it the absolute truth? I don't choose to believe that. If you choose to believe it, it will structure your life for you. That's why I said watch what you think . Read the Laws of the Universe. It speaks about how we create our own reality from what we believe. A belief such as this will cause you to have a lot of anger, sadness, and depression, loss of energy. You can choose what you want to believe. We have to check out every belief/thought we are used to, and see if it's one we really want to keep on believing.

As far as an anti-depressant - thinking new thoughts and choosing new beliefs, releasing old stuck emotional energy is what you need to be doing.

It's all from the inside - that's how we heal. Not from anything outside of us. However, there are things that can support us along the way. Go to a health food store, and check out an herbal supplement that has to do with feeling positive. There are certain herbal combinations that can help with that. But your healing has to come from how you choose to think, what you choose to believe, and what you choose to feel. That is true power and strength.

Blessings, Ayal

hello. thank you for taking the time to email me. ive read over your emails a hundred times and believe what you are telling me. I just have so much anger sadness to release that I think only a tiny tiny bit releases at a time and then something negative happens in my marriage family or work that a lot more goes in - its like you take one step forward and 100 back!!! I think I have to conquer the negative the true reason im like this. oh well it's a long long story and im sure you don't want to hear about it but I think im going in the right direction. god can only help me. do you believe in prayers? well again thank you for your time and have a great day!!!!!

Hi - a tiny bit does release at a time, when we first start to get aware of what we have stuck inside that needs to be let go of. As you learn to work with releasing stuck energy, you are able to release bigger and bigger chunks at a time. It's just practice - like learning how to use any tool. The more you do it, the better you get at it and the better you can handle it and the more you can do with it. That's why the Buddhists call meditation a "spiritual practice"! It's something you keep on practicing until you master it. The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. And then another. That's what the journey is all about! No one becomes a great artist overnight.

The same is true of clearing up our emotional stuff and our misconceptions. We start off doing a little bit at a time, and we are kind to ourselves as we are learning along the way. That's the beginning of compassion. It begins right there. The statement you made about "taking 1 step forward and 100 steps back" is just a belief - not a truth - that keeps you in stress, pain, and despair.

You've GOT to start challenging and exploring and questioning these programs, these statements that you speak as if they are just the way things are - as if they are Truth. Who says that they are true? And do you want to live life believing stuff like that, that only brings defeat? Can you make other choices to believe? Do you want to? Sometimes we get addicted to our sadness - it's what we're used to - and we get something out of keeping it. Like Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh. But, there is also the possibility of being a Tigger, or a Pooh, or any combination thereof - it's up to you, who and how you choose to be. Do you want to keep your sadness and despair, or release it for something more fulfilling? It's a risk to let go of what you know so well for something new. But it's so worth it. That's called Trust. Trusting in the power that creates beauty, and joy, and sunsets, and flamingos, and smiles, and dolphins, and trees, and mothers loving their children... I think that you are ready for something new, right?

We DO get programs in our minds, just as a computer gets programs put into them. The mind works very much like a computer, with filing systems, memory banks, etc. What we type into our computers, or agree to believe in, or accept, in our minds, is then what we print out to become our lives. Our job is to challenge what programs we have in our minds and put in their place what we consciously CHOOSE to believe, thoughts that create life being fulfilling, joyful, loving, and wonderful. Life is always steps forward! How about THAT for a belief instead of the other one?

Here is a link to a free 20-minute track from iAwake Technologies - a sample of the type of tools that will deepen your meditation immediately and help you quickly become a successful meditator. It's the opening track of iAwake's flagship product, the Profound Meditation Program, called the iAwake Experience...