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felt like sharing (long).. GRAPHIC PIC (WARNING)

Started ttc april of 2011.. We had the iud, and took it out the beg. Of april. Three months went by with no bfp.. We were so upset so july came around, we only bd once.. I actually forgot about ttc because we were out of town visiting family. Aug 7th of 2011, my DH's parents were visiting us, we were leaving dinner and dh jokingly said "hey mom,stephs preg" at this time we were a day early from af.. The next day we tested and bfp!!!!we were so excited!, we couldn't believe it! I told dh he jinxed us and it was a good jinx!!! went in for a u/s a week later and they saw a sac but didnt see or hear the heart beat.doctor said could still be to early.. 5days later we went back and really saw the sac but the heart beat was not there... He asked me if i knew i was bleeding and i had no clue. He told me what to expect in the next 48 hrs... I actually caught the baby in my hand.. He told me to freeze it and sent the baby to do an autopsy... I was devastated...holding a baby, looking at it seeing life, just broke my heart, broke into pieces.. A week went by and i thought we were going to be okay... I was sitting at church, praying, and talking about our study groups when i doubled over in pain. I don't even know how i got to the hospital.. They were running tests and tests, and couldn't find a baby but levels were still up.. They finally rushed me to the OR, where they opened me up to figure out what was wrong.. The baby was already in my tube growing, they took pictures, i saw the head the body, everything, i lost a lot of blood.. When i woke up i just remember crying for our baby... I was in dis belief. Surgery was painful, one week went by and it seemed like forever... Till this day, one tube later we are trying for our rainbow baby.. I'm so grateful too be alive, and breathing.. I love my kids and family so much, we all just feel we want our babies back..its hard too think i had them and saw them just couldnt keep them.. I was 2 months with the first mc and 2.5 months with the ectopic.. Thank you for reading, hopefully you all can give me advise... I'm on my 4th round of clomid.. And hoping a lot of bding will help us. Gl to all you wonderful ladies!!!

I was 16 when I had my miscarriage I was 7 months along and ended up delivering my daughter. I found out a couple days ago the reason I haven't conceived since then is because I have pcos.I feel lost and out of control. I feel as if God doesn't want me to be a mother. so I'm basically here as a cheerleader. I hope you get your desired BFP SOON!!!

I'm so sorry.. I know the pain your feeling i know every emotion..
I pray alot, i always encourage myself to keep pushing through even when times get rough... One day our time will come.. Gods time..

Quoting emmalin94:

I was 16 when I had my miscarriage I was 7 months along and ended up delivering my daughter. I found out a couple days ago the reason I haven't conceived since then is because I have pcos.I feel lost and out of control. I feel as if God doesn't want me to be a mother. so I'm basically here as a cheerleader. I hope you get your desired BFP SOON!!!

I wish I was as optimistic. sometimes I feel as if I could have done something different. I spend a lot of time talking my my Angel but it feels as if no one is there. I've thrown in the towel and started bc to get rid of the cysts and am highly considering a hysterectomy. I hope the best for all the moms & women ttc

I know how you feel.. I know.. I know the emotions, the heartache, the crying, the screaming, the roller coaster of happy then tears... I know.. However i know we all have our time, and we have to keep our heads up.. Even though i know even that's hard to do.. Love you ladies, Thank you all for everything!!

Quoting emmalin94:

I wish I was as optimistic. sometimes I feel as if I could have done something different. I spend a lot of time talking my my Angel but it feels as if no one is there. I've thrown in the towel and started bc to get rid of the cysts and am highly considering a hysterectomy. I hope the best for all the moms & women ttc

I wish they would have done something like that for me. Instead, they had me bring the baby whenever I passsed it. I passed it right when i got to the er into the wheelchair. All they did for me was kept me for two days due to the amount of blood i was loosing. I was only 11wks 3 days at that time. They told me I was probably going to need a transfusion if I dont stop bleeding like that. All this was in february. Two months later for my follow up. They said since i lost so much blood I am severly anemic. I have to take 4 iron pills aday. (4 of them.)When i was preggers it was one maybe two a day.

I lost one of my twins in my first pregnancy at 9 wks & it was hard, luckily it wasn't traumadic & I had the healthy baby to keep me positive, I can't imagine how hard that must have been, to lose both, so close but not at the same time, ugh my heart goes out to you hun. I too have pcos & after my 1st I conceived #2 & #3 with clomid so I hope that gives u some hope <3

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