Roger Castillo – Satsang – A Spontaneous STOP

00:00 at finding ourselves frustrated 00:03 frustrated because as humans without a 00:08 direction we tend to very easily get 00:11 lost and follow ideas follow beliefs so 00:17 if an interesting framework is put 00:21 forward to us we can easily get lost 00:25 thinking yes this is what I want and we 00:29 might even dedicate many years to 00:33 something that sounds interesting but 00:36 maybe isn’t what we’re really looking 00:37 for so the suggestion is that before we go any further we ask ourselves this question what am I really looking for in life and so everything that I put 00:56 forward in the talks are concepts. it’s 01:01 not the truth but they’re very accurate 01:06 accurate and useful concepts they’re 01:09 useful because they come from a 01:12 perspective whereby what was in the way 01:15 of what humans are looking for has 01:18 fallen away and a new perspective of 01:21 life emerges and so the concepts are 01:25 concepts that understand what the 01:27 problem is in terms of human suffering 01:32 and what’s on the other side of that veil. 01:38 so the concepts are only useful in so 01:41 much as they point at where our 01:44 attention can land and if we can hear 01:49 the concepts and understand what they’re 01:52 saying see what they’re pointing at then 01:56the job is for us to investigate this for ourselves to see if we agree with the concepts see if we can see what they’re pointing at. and if we actually 02:08 find that this investigation happens 02:10 and we see certain things that we didn’t 02:14 see before then the understanding is 02:17 much more than just an intellectual 02:19 understanding much more than just a 02:22 belief it becomes something that belongs 02:26 to oneself it’s a it becomes a knowing 02:32 so please bear that in mind everything 02:37 that is shared here is a concept all of 02:40 the concepts are really useful they 02:45 point at what needs to be seenthe real work is to do the investigation for oneself in one’s own daily life 02:57 so here’s the question what are we really 02:59 looking for in life and if we drop all 03:02 our beliefs and become really practical 03:06 about this question and say really if I 03:10 don’t believe this or that what I’m 03:13 really looking for is happiness in this 03:15 life happiness right now if possible we 03:23 might be holding on to a belief that 03:27 says I’m looking for enlightenment we 03:34 might not even have a very clear 03:36 understanding about what that is so if 03:43 we don’t really know what it is and 03:45 we’re looking for enlightenment then it 03:48 makes sense we might get lost so if we 03:52 ask the question of ourself say let me 03:55 just put all concepts aside for a second 03:58 why do I find myself seeking anything in 04:01 life including spiritual seeking and the 04:05 answer is because I hope that it’s going 04:08 to deliver something and what I hope it 04:11 will deliver I believe will make me 04:14 happy that’s why I’m seeking after it so 04:19 maybe we can agree the answer to this 04:24 question what am I really looking for 04:26 when we drop all other beliefs and we’ve 04:29 become really practical about this is 04:31I’m looking for happiness now I’ll 04:34 explain why that’s a good answer 04:37 but if we can keep this in mind as being 04:41 a suggested answer so still one has to 04:45 investigate and figure it out for 04:46 oneself 04:47 it’s the suggested answer but once we 04:50 tick it off and it becomes clear what 04:52 we’re looking for happiness and we 04:55 become very clear on what happiness is 04:57 then whenever we find ourselves feeling 05:01 lost feeling uncomfortable feeling 05:05 resistance to life in a particular form 05:09 we can come back to this question 05:11 actually what I’m really looking for is 05:14 happiness and then we can look at the 05:16 situation that’s here we can look at 05:20 what it is that we’re engaging in and 05:23 say is this contributing to my happiness 05:25 is this an attack on my happiness and 05:29 each time we refocus back to human 05:32 happiness we’ll find that a lot of the 05:36 things that we are involved with that 05:38 are feeling uncomfortable tend to lose 05:42 their significance so reminding 05:46 ourselves of what we’re really looking 05:47 for can bring us back on track time and 05:50 time again throughout the whole process 05:53 so the process is going to take three 05:55 years or one year or one month 05:59coming back on track is essential 06:06 so what is human happiness we’re looking 06:13 for happiness but do we know what human 06:17 happiness is do we know what this happiness 06:19 is it if we look at our movement in life 06:29 humanity’s movement in life we’ll be 06:34 able to conclude that the assumption the 06:38 belief is that human happiness is to be 06:40 found in outcomes the assumption is that 06:45 my happiness will be there when life 06:47 looks a certain way now if we see thatthere is this ingrained belief inside of us that says what I’m looking for will be there when life looks a certain way when outcomes turn out a certain way now many of us will understand on an 07:15 intellectual level that that’s not where 07:17 happiness is to be found but when we 07:20 look at our reaction to life we might 07:25 start to see that even though on an 07:27 intellectual level we understand that 07:30 our happiness isn’t to be found in 07:32 outcomes the reaction when life turns a 07:36 way that we don’t want the reaction is 07:40 as if my happiness is to be found and 07:44 outcomes the resistance the internal 07:47 resistance that comes up tells us that 07:50 inside the system there is a belief that 07:52 says my happiness or my completeness is 07:56 to be found with life looking the x y&z; 08:01 way and when it turns out a B and C way 08:04 it’s not acceptable so to see this to 08:09 recognize this to put a tick next to it 08:12 is a great move forward 08:15 it means we’re really starting to see 08:17 things as they are 08:20 so the suggestion here is that life has 08:24 embedded in the human being a deeply 08:28 ingrained belief several beliefs but one 08:33 of the main ones is the belief that my 08:35 happiness is to be found in outcomes my 08:38 completeness is to be found in 08:40 circumstance in life looking a certain 08:42 way it turns out that human happiness is 08:52 never to be found in outcomes never to 08:55 be found in the flow of life human 08:58 happiness turns out to be continuous 09:01 unbroken peace of mindthis peace of mind isn’t circumstantial it’s not 09:08 determined by the circumstance but ratherpeace of mind is based on our attitude to the circumstance how we 09:18 relate to what is there so this deeply 09:24 ingrained belief that my happiness or my 09:27 completeness is dependent on 09:29 circumstance is an attitude or forces an 09:34 attitude to arise when life turns out a 09:39 certain way it’s an attitude of feeling 09:42 attacked by the circumstance because the 09:47 belief says this circumstance when it’s 09:49 painful is an attack on Who I am and the 09:56 happiness the human is looking for turns 09:58 out to bepeace of mind which is just the absence of this attitude of attachment to outcome 10:15 so while this deeply ingrained belief is 10:18 in place it simply isn’t possible to be 10:21 happy every time life turns out 10:25 painfully and even when it’s turning out 10:27 pleasurably there are a series of 10:30 reactions inside that prevents peace of 10:34 mind from being there it’s not optional 10:37 this reaction that happens isn’t 10:39 something we choose to do you don’t say 10:43 okay now I’m going to choose to resist 10:46 life resistance happens and we feel it 10:52 we experience it 11:03 the resistance is a result of this 11:05 deeply ingrained belief that is forced 11:07 to explode into action when life 11:11 delivers pain because that pain is 11:13 interpreted as an attack on Hawaii the 11:19 good news this is the great news is that 11:22 this belief is false it’s an error the 11:27 belief that my happiness my completeness 11:29 is to be found and outcomes is an error 11:31 and that means that the resistance to 11:34 life anyone want to guess what that is 11:39 it’s an error an error based on an error 11:44 so this is why we hear that suffering 11:47 isn’t real now when we hear suffering 11:50 isn’t real it doesn’t mean that it 11:51 doesn’t actually arise it doesn’t mean 11:54 that it we don’t feel it in fact 11:56 suffering is an uncomfortableness with 11:59 oneself and uncomfortableness with the 12:01 other and uncomfortableness with life 12:03 it’s one of the most uncomfortable 12:05 feelings there is and yet we’re told 12:08 suffering isn’t real if we understand 12:16 what this means then instead of that 12:20 statement sounding cruel and at some 12:23 point if we say to someone who’s 12:25 suffering you’re suffering isn’t real 12:28 it’s not a very effective way what can 12:31 be effective but it’s not always a very 12:34 effective way of dealing with the 12:36 situation so maybe this puts it into 12:41 context what it really means when we 12:44 hear suffering isn’t real what it means 12:47 is it’s based on a false belief the 12:50 belief is an error and therefore the 12:53 flower from that belief which is a 12:55 feeling of uncomfortableness the feeling 12:57 of resistance towards life is an error 13:00 why is this really good news it’s really 13:04 good news because when the error is 13:07 undone the subsequent error no longer 13:10 arises 13:12 hence the end of suffering 13:16 is something which is available for 13:18 everyone actually something that’s 13:21 available for everyone right now because 13:27 the error actually is a series of 13:29 beliefs and that any moment life can 13:34 undo a belief and if the belief drops 13:39 what drops is this idea of who we are an 13:43 idea that was put in place and very 13:46 early on in our life an idea that has 13:50 been reinforced moment after moment day 13:54 after day based on how the experience 13:56 presents itself in how we interpret the 13:58 experience so you can imagine at the age 14:02 of 20 this idea of who we are 14:06 based on the experience of life has had 14:10 20 years of being engrained second after 14:15 second after second after second after 14:17 20 years at the age of 40 it is twice 14:21 that amount of time if you’re a 70 year 14:24 old 70 years of this being ingrained in 14:29 us and the belief that’s ingrained is so 14:35 deep and so believed never questioned 14:42 that it creates a very convincing 14:48 experience of who we are an in instant 14:54 that can collapse and life can suddenly 14:58 be seen differently now when I say in an 15:03 instant 15:04 in practical terms usually this is a 15:06 process that is gradual there are 15:09 moments of Awakening that are instant 15:13 spontaneous seem to come out of the blue 15:16 in fact they happen often when we give 15:20 up when we realize actually you know 15:25 I’ve been working so hard at this 15:29 for years and I realize I don’t know 15:34 anything I’ve had enough of working hard 15:39 at this particular topic and if we’re 15:44 lucky we might just put it aside and 15:46 carry on with our life and then out of 15:49 the blue when we stop trying to make it 15:54 happen there’s often an awakening and 15:59 that awakening is not really that 16:02 spontaneous and unconnected to anything 16:06 else like it feels it’s it happens 16:11 because life has taken the person 16:14 through a history and the seeking that 16:21 led to frustration was actually probably 16:24 doing a lot of good was making a lot of 16:28 changes and then the giving up also was 16:35 part of that process so let’s look at 16:42 these beliefs a little bit because 16:46 there’s another belief that accompanies 16:49 the belief that my happiness is to be 16:51 found and outcomes another belief that 16:54 adds to the idea of Who I am 16:56 adds to the idea of what life is and it 17:02 too is part of the error this other 17:07 belief is the belief that I am the doer 17:10 and the other is the doer meaning I am 17:14 in control 17:16 I am the agent the author the doer of 17:24 whatever I say and whatever I think and 17:27 whatever I however I act the reason that 17:32 belief is in place is because our life 17:34 experience the momentary experience 17:37 feels like that’s the case and it always 17:41 feels 17:42 like that’s the case and so the belief 17:46 gets put in place every time we get up 17:49 and walk to the fridge the idea that I 17:52 am the agent 17:54 I am the doer gets reinforced and so 18:00 this too is a deeply ingrained belief 18:03 about Who I am that’s been put in place 18:06 by life unfolding moment after moment 18:10 after moment and when we see ourself as 18:14 the doer meaning I’m the one that 18:19 creates my thoughts that when when I 18:21 think such-and-such when I look at 18:25 someone and think and judge them or look 18:29 at a car and think that’s a nice car or 18:31 a bird I think that’s a nice bird it 18:36 feels like that’s my thought that I 18:39 created it and so this notion of do 18:44 assha based on mede it being the creator 18:46 of my thoughts is deeply ingrained and 18:49 if I see myself as the doer I have to 18:52 see the other as the doer well obviously 18:54 I am the doer the other is the same as 18:56 me but over there the doer 19:11 this too is one of those errors when we 19:17 investigate life beyond or below the 19:21 surface experience of life we find that 19:25 our beliefs are not that accurate so let 19:32 me reiterate what we’re really looking 19:34 for is happiness where we have been 19:40 looking for happiness in life humanity 19:43 for thousands of years has been looking 19:46 for happiness in outcomes it turns out 19:50 that our happiness is never to be found 19:52 and outcomes our happiness is always 19:56 attitudinal it turns out that happiness 20:01 for the human being is continuous 20:03 unbroken peace of mind regardless of the 20:06 circumstance we find ourselves in 20:09 happiness is the absence of suffering 20:13 happiness for the human is the end of 20:15 suffering the two deeply ingrained 20:23 beliefs that create suffering 20:26 remembering happiness is the end of 20:28 suffering the two deeply ingrained 20:31 beliefs that create suffering the belief 20:35 that my happiness is to be found in 20:36 outcomes and I am the doer and the other 20:40 is the doer so all of these words 20:44 concepts what does it mean by continent 20:48 mean my happiness is not to be found in 20:50 the flow of life concept the flow of 20:54 life equals circumstance concept the 20:59 flow of life is pleasure or pain concept 21:05 we will experience pleasure when the 21:09 flow of life the outcomes in the flow of 21:11 life are in line with our biological 21:13 preferences concept we will experience 21:18 pain when the flow of life is not in 21:22 line with our biological preferences 21:24 concept 21:26 Huhn human happiness turns out to be 21:30 continuous unbroken peace of mind 21:32 concept peace of mind is the absence of 21:36 suffering concept there is a deeply 21:43 ingrained belief that I am the doer and 21:46 the other is the doer concept there is a 21:49 deeply ingrained belief that my 21:51 happiness is to be found in outcomes in 21:54 pleasure and pain concept so when I’m 22:03 speaking I’m speaking to the working 22:05 mind the part of the person that will 22:14 absorb these concepts now you don’t have 22:19 to do the absorbing so if it all gets 22:23 too much just relax and open up your 22:28 heart or drop into your body close your 22:31 eyes if your head hurts because your 22:34 brains thinking too much you can quite 22:38 comfortably say that’s enough for now 22:41 and drop into a much more open space in 22:45 fact listen from an open space which 22:52 means you don’t have to listen to 22:54 intently believe me I will repeat this 22:58 many times and some of you are going to 23:01 be here for three days and some for six 23:04 days some just for tonight and even one 23:07 night you I’ll repeat it quite a few 23:11 times the good news is that you don’t 23:14 have to do the understanding just simply 23:20 being here means life is delivering new 23:24 conditioning Ramesh used to say make no 23:29 mistake these talks are simply new 23:33 conditioning 23:37 this for those who aren’t familiar is 23:40 Ramesh Behl saga’ who is my teacher I 23:42 came across ramesh in 2005 in Mumbai he 23:48 died in 2009 and a lot of what I share 23:52 is in line with the teachings he put 23:56 forward so Ramesh would say make no 24:02 mistake the concepts the talks here are 24:06 simply new conditioning how that this 24:09 new conditioning will affect our 24:11 up-to-date-conditioning is not in my 24:15 control 24:15 and it’s not in your control the concept 24:19 some of them will fly over our head some 24:22 of them will be understood and we won’t 24:25 like them others could penetrate 24:29 straight into the heart and which way a 24:35 concept lands not up to you or me we 24:42 once again we think we’re the doers we 24:45 think that if I’m going to understand it 24:47 I need to understand I need to work hard 24:51 at understanding it this is sort of an 24:55 analogies like I’m throwing mud at you 24:58 and it hits or it doesn’t hit so 25:08 tomorrow the SAP some of these concepts 25:12 my happiness isn’t to be found in the 25:14 flow of life you might see it arising in 25:19 your head if it arises it means that the 25:26 concept or the new conditioning has 25:29 affected your up-to-date-conditioning 25:33 that’s why it would be arising because 25:38 whatever arises in any moment is based 25:42 on makeup at that particular point in 25:46 time 25:49 and our makeup at any point in time and 25:56 when I’m talking about our makeup I’m 25:57 talking about the biological and the 25:59 psychological aspect of the human being 26:03 the makeup of a human being at any 26:05 particular point in time is based on two 26:07 factors so you might notice these are 26:11 the concepts carrying on based on two 26:14 factors one is genes and one’s 26:18 up-to-date-conditioning so once we have 26:22 an idea of what genes and 26:24 up-to-date-conditioning means we can 26:27 start investigating it now we don’t need 26:30 to be become genetic scientists only a 26:33 few people in the world understand the 26:36 complexities of genetic science we just 26:41 need to understand in principle that 26:44 genes make up the structure of the body 26:48 they determine whether we have blue eyes 26:50 or green eyes whether we have whether 26:53 we’re short or tall how emotional we are 26:57 or how brave how fast we can run what 27:03 things what things we like and don’t 27:06 like so we just need to understand the 27:12 genetics makeup the physical structure 27:14 of the body and we weren’t in control of 27:17 the genes we were given we weren’t in 27:22 control of the Barrett parents we were 27:23 born to and our genes are a result of 27:29 our parents genes and 27:34 up-to-date-conditioning is the 27:38 cumulative effect of all of the 27:42 conditioning that has been delivered to 27:43 us through the course of our life moment 27:47 after moment after moment after moment 27:49 meaning the conditioning we received in 27:53 our family unit the conditioning we 27:56 received in the country that we live in 28:00 the political and religious systems that 28:02 we live the conditioning from the school 28:05 that we went to our friends that we made 28:09 events that happen to us 28:12 throughout our life each moment life is 28:15 delivering new conditioning and the new 28:19 conditioning can add to our existing 28:24 conditioning all radically change anew 28:28 our up-to-date-conditioning 28:31 so if certain conditioning is in line 28:34 with the conditioning that has come 28:36 before it will strengthen certain 28:41 aspects of our up-to-date conditioning 28:43 and then if we get new conditioning that 28:45 is radically different the new 28:47 conditioning could change our 28:50 up-to-date-conditioning by radically 28:53 knocking out certain previous 28:56 conditioning so at any point in time we 29:00 have up-to-date conditioning which is a 29:02 cumulative effect of all the 29:05 conditioning that we’ve received in life 29:09 so in this moment Roger on a biological 29:14 and psychological level is one way this 29:20 way and in general terms I can say Roger 29:23 is this way and I am this way based on 29:27 two factors my genes and 29:29 up-to-date-conditioning so the genes you 29:32 could say is like the computer the 29:33 hardware and the up-to-date conditioning 29:36 is the operating system and software and 29:40 the operating system and software is 29:43 continually being updated continually 29:46 being affected by new conditioning that 29:49 life delivers 29:56 so if we look at the example of two 30:01 chemicals that come together each 30:05 chemical has a particular chemical 30:07 composition the chemical didn’t choose 30:10 what chemical composition it has the two 30:14 chemicals come together there’s a 30:16 reaction depending on the chemical 30:20 composition of the two chemicals that 30:23 they didn’t choose they don’t sit down 30:25 and have a conference as to how they’re 30:27 going to react one chemical doesn’t say 30:30 to it so far or I’m going to react this 30:33 way the reaction is impersonal based on 30:37 the environment that the chemicals are 30:40 in and their particular composition and 30:46 if we see a human being when we look at 30:50 it closely when we drop beyond the 30:53 beliefs drop beyond the way the 30:57 circumstance presents itself to apply a 31:01 little bit of non invested critical 31:04 thinking hopefully aided by the concepts 31:08 being put forward forward and we’ll 31:12 start to see wow whatever I do in each 31:14 moment is a happening based on something 31:19 that came before so I see something I 31:23 smell something I hear something I taste 31:25 something I touch something something in 31:28 the environment so I see a bird fly 31:31 across the horizon I’m not in control of 31:34 that bird flying across the horizon I’m 31:36 not in control of seeing it and there’s 31:39 a result of seeing the bird that I 31:42 wasn’t in control of seeing a thought 31:45 might arise and that thought is based on 31:48 my genes and up-to-date-conditioning 31:50 that I was never in control of 31:59 so if we investigate this fact to a 32:03 fairly simple investigation following 32:07 the suggestions here we’ll maybe start 32:13 to see wow I’m not in as much control as 32:17 I thought now when we hear this the 32:23 reaction inside might be no no no I this 32:25 is not what I this is I didn’t come here 32:28 to hear this so the doer inside of us 32:35 the belief in personal do it ship is 32:41 invested in maintaining itself it’s 32:46 invested in surviving the concepts being 32:51 put forward there are direct attack on 32:53 the identity which is this set of 32:57 beliefs and so one of the reactions that 33:01 might happen is this uncomfortable 33:03 feeling inside set of thoughts that 33:07 arise and have fine try to find any way 33:11 of making this inaccurate remember this 33:21 is why we need to be clear on the answer 33:24 to the question because the doer isn’t 33:30 clear on the answer to this question the 33:32 doer has its and when I say the doer 33:36 it’s a set of beliefs it has its own 33:39 answer to this question it happens the 33:44 word is the same the answer I put 33:47 forward and the answer that the belief 33:50 in personal do ership has is the same 33:52 happiness but the understanding of what 33:58 happiness is is radically different the 34:02 Dewar’s understanding of happiness is my 34:06 happiness is to be found in outcomes and 34:08 I the doer have to make that happen 34:15 what happiness turns out to be his 34:18 continuous unbroken peace of mind never 34:21 to be found in circumstance always based 34:24 on our attitude to circumstance and the 34:31 attitude of unhappiness which we can 34:35 observe for ourselves is the attitude of 34:38 believing that I am the doer and that my 34:41 happiness is to be found in outcomes 34:43 why do I say that because what we can 34:47 see for ourselves when in a particular 34:51 moment we say I am undoubtedly unhappy 34:54 in this moment no questions about it so 34:56 we find a particular moment where we say 34:59 in this moment I’m annoyed and unhappy 35:02 and each time we look to see what is 35:07 there when we can be very sure that in 35:11 this moment I’m not happy we’ll find 35:13 that what’s there is either guilt blame 35:18 pride worry or anxiety expectation and 35:23 attachment to outcomes those five 35:27 categories encompass all of human 35:33 suffering all of human unhappiness so 35:40 under guilt there are a lot of some 35:46 variations of guilt lack of self-worth 35:52 insecurity embarrassment guilt for 35:58 simple things like what I didn’t do last 36:00 week for a friend so and the guilt 36:04 there’s a whole lot of different forms 36:06 shame is one of the deepest forms of 36:10 guilt under blame we have hatred 36:14 resentment jealousy blame for the person 36:21 that 36:22 put the milk carton back in the fridge 36:24 empty so we go to get milk to put in our 36:28 tea or coffee it’s empty not in line 36:32 with our preferences and we blame 36:36 someone or we blame myself if we blame 36:40 myself it’s guilt I’m not good enough 36:44 Here I am again like I did it again I I 36:48 had it on the shopping list and I forgot 36:51 to buy milk 36:53 what a loser guilt blame I hate my 37:00 brother he continually continuously 37:03 leaves no milk for me so these simple 37:09 thoughts are what is being referred to 37:13 and in their more intense form it’s a 37:17 very strong feeling in the body not a 37:20 thought when we look at it we can talk 37:23 about this over the next few days 37:26 feelings this is really important it’s 37:28 not often brought to our attention 37:31 feelings are actually very concentrated 37:34 thoughts a feeling of uncomfortableness 37:40 emotions actually are a very 37:43 concentrated form of thought and we can 37:47 see this by diving into the feeling if 37:52 that happens when we really feel the 37:55 feeling and we express it we’ll see that 38:00 there’s a story at the bottom of the 38:01 feeling I hate you for having left me 38:06 and we when we feel it on the surface it 38:10 might just be this uncomfortable feeling 38:12 that has no real definition to it and if 38:19 we find that that feeling is allowed to 38:23 grow which we’re not very good at doing 38:27 we tend to want to suppress these 38:29 feelings but if at some point it starts 38:32 to make sense to us 38:33 to allow these feelings to grow in 38:35 we’ll talk about that too and why it 38:38 makes sense to feel these feelings 38:40 instead of distracting ourselves and it 38:45 gets to a point where we can express it 38:47 we’ll find that there’s a lot of 38:49 definition at the root of this feeling 38:52 and the definition is a story about what 38:55 someone has done to us to hurt us and a 38:59 hatred or a sadness for that and a story 39:07 about what we have done that wasn’t good 39:10 enough so feelings are really condensed 39:18 thought-forms this is important to 39:22 remember or to start contemplating 39:24 because it ties back into what we’re 39:27 talking about here so pride is the third 39:34 form of suffering guilt blame pride 39:39 pride is a feeling in relation to 39:42 actions that have happened through us 39:44 that have delivered positive outcomes in 39:47 the same way as guilt is a feeling in 39:52 relation to those outcomes that are 39:54 negative pride in relation to those 39:56 outcomes that are positive and when we 39:59 look at it guilt blame and pride all 40:04 have a very common theme the belief in 40:10 personal Durer ship I hate myself for 40:15 what I did I should have and I could 40:18 have done it better I hate you for what 40:22 you have done to me you should have been 40:25 could have done it differently look how 40:28 great I am look what I have achieved 40:32 this is my doing I hope you realize that 40:37 guilt blame and pride all based on the 40:40 belief that I am the doer and the other 40:42 is the doer 40:49 worry and anxiety is based on the belief 40:54 that my happiness is to be found in 40:56 outcomes that my completeness is 40:59 dependent on life looking a certain way 41:01 and because we’ve come to see that life 41:04 is very unpredictable meaning it 41:08 delivers pain which is not in line with 41:11 my preferences not in line with where I 41:13 believe my happiness is to be found then 41:16 worry arises about what might happen in 41:19 the future and when that worry becomes 41:23 really intense it arises as anxiety and 41:27 anxiety often is felt in the body as a 41:30 feeling not so much necessarily 41:34 recognized as a thought and when we go 41:37 into it and feel it we’ll see that 41:39 there’s a storyline at the bottom of it 41:45 to worry an anxiety worrying about what 41:49 might happen in the future that is an 41:53 attack on Who I am 41:57 anxieties actually sometimes feeling 42:00 like it’s already happened this very 42:04 terrible thing has already happened and 42:05 I’m just waiting to find out about it an 42:11 expectation and attachment to outcome 42:14 also based on the belief my happiness is 42:16 to be found in circumstance in pleasure 42:20 in outcomes and the expectation is a 42:24 story about how we want life to look 42:27 what my life is going to look like in 42:30 five years time which house I’m going to 42:33 be living in 42:34 how many kids I’m going to have or how 42:37 big my business will be or how many 42:39 countries I would have travelled to 42:42 whatever someone’s idea of happiness for 42:47 themselves is they’ll tend to have an 42:49 expectation which is running in their 42:51 mind all the time sort of a strategy how 42:53 am I going to make this happen an 42:56 attachment to outcomes very much linked 42:59 to expectation 43:00 but it refers to the feeling that is 43:04 there in the moment when things don’t go 43:06 right so if we let’s think we’d booked a 43:13 plane ticket and when we look at it we 43:18 say it’s booked for 6 a.m. and we turn 43:21 up at the airport at 6 p.m. and the 43:25 people at the counter say sorry this 43:28 flight left 12 hours ago and that pain 43:34 in the moment attachment to outcome is 43:38 the feeling that says no this can’t be 43:48 and feels completely uncomfortable with 43:52 the situation the fact is that is pain 43:56 in the moment so on one level or on the 43:59 level of pain pain he’ll pain will be 44:02 there the attachment to outcome is not 44:05 the experience of the pain and in this 44:10 case it’s financial pain not physical 44:13 pain the attachment to outcome is our 44:18 resistance and non acceptance of how 44:21 this could have happened and then along 44:25 with that what’s probably going to be 44:27 there is blame for someone I have to 44:31 find someone to blame it was the 44:33 computer systems fault 44:34 the website isn’t designed properly I’m 44:40 sure that I put 6 p.m. and not 6 a.m. 44:42 something’s gone wrong somewhere or it’s 44:46 guilt you know here I’ve done it again I 44:49 you know not good enough and the 44:57 different forms of suffering in there 45:00 very many different suits or 45:04 costumes are continually arising as life 45:10 unfold so what are we really looking for 45:17 we’re looking for happiness happiness is 45:19 never to be found and outcomes the 45:21 deeply ingrained belief is contrary to 45:23 that happiness turns out to be the end 45:28 of suffering suffering arises in these 45:31 five forms guilt blame pride worry 45:34 anxiety expectation and attachment to 45:37 outcomes these five forms when we look 45:41 at the linchpin the ground on which 45:45 these forms of suffering arise is the 45:49 belief in personal doership an 45:52 attachment to outcomes so I know I talk 45:58 a lot but when you really look at it 46:02 it’s actually quite worthwhile 46:04 conversation or monologue assume that I 46:07 meant conversations a monologue um but 46:14 now we’ve basically narrowed it down yes 46:16 I’m looking for happiness I don’t know 46:19 what happiness is I don’t have it 46:21 Roger is suggesting that happiness is 46:23 not to be found in outcomes but in our 46:28 attitude to life not circumstance itself 46:31 he’s saying that my happiness is 46:34 actually peace of mind regardless of 46:36 whether life is pleasurable or painful 46:38 so then we start investigating happiness 46:42 I’m not sure of but I’ve heard his 46:43 concept unhappiness yes that I can know 46:48 when it’s there and then we investigate 46:51 is it true when you’re unhappy that it’s 46:55 guilt blame pride warrior or expectation 46:58 arising in one form or the other is it 47:01 true that it’s based on the belief in 47:04 personal doership and attachment to 47:05 outcome could it be true that what I’m 47:08 actually looking for is just the end of 47:10 that 47:11 could it be my oh my happiness is not 47:14 something that I gain not something that 47:18 is added but the – of something and if 47:26 this notion doesn’t come into our head 47:28 so remember I’m talking to the working 47:30 mind I’ll explain what the working mind 47:33 is and the difference the two 47:36 distinctions in mind is the working mind 47:38 and the thinking mind all of these 47:41 concepts are being delivered to the 47:43 working mind if the working mind never 47:45 hears that happiness for the human being 47:49 actually is something completely 47:51 different to what the thinking mind 47:52 believes if the working mind doesn’t 47:56 hear it then there’s nothing in the mine 48:00 in the in the brain really we’re talking 48:03 about here nothing in the brain that’s 48:05 going to stop the working mind part of 48:09 the brain from continuing to seek 48:12 happiness where it’s not found and on 48:16 the contrary if the working mind gets 48:18 this for the first time in our life 48:22 maybe every time our seeking is outward 48:27 in circumstance the awareness and the 48:33 working mind can land on this can see it 48:37 and the thought might arise my happiness 48:41 isn’t to be found in pleasure or pain 48:43 I’m investing everything I can I can 48:48 feel it it’s uncomfortableness and when 48:50 I look at it I realize it’s because I’m 48:52 insisting that my life goes in this 48:54 direction and then the thought might 48:56 arise relax your happiness isn’t to be 48:58 found and pleasure and pain your 49:00 happiness isn’t to be found in achieving 49:02 circumstance that’s actually your 49:05 unhappiness the thought my happiness 49:07 isn’t to be found in the flow of life 49:09 cuts off the suffering which is 49:13 suffering in the form of expectation or 49:16 attachment to outcome in this particular 49:17 example this is how the process works 49:21 the working mind becomes 49:24 equipped becomes empowered to start 49:29 cutting off and dissolving the beliefs 49:33 that are held in the thinking mind the 49:38 thinking mind we can equate with 49:41 suffering and we can say that the 49:45 thinking mind is responsible for us 49:47 psychological reactions the rest of the 49:51 body’s genes and up-to-date-conditioning 49:53 are responsible for the biological 49:56 reactions so thinking about how much 50:01 money to take on holidaying for example 50:03 is not a function of the thinking mind 50:07 it’s not a psychological thinking it’s 50:12 not suffering it’s a functional form of 50:14 thinking and that functional form of 50:17 thinking doesn’t disturb our peace of 50:20 mind the functional functional thinking 50:23 is necessary as part of life it will 50:28 continue to be there even after 50:30 liberation and it doesn’t get in the way 50:33 of our happiness the thinking mind on 50:37 the other hand what we can call 50:39 suffering or this psychological reaction 50:43 does get in the way of our happiness and 50:47 it’s based on our genes and 50:50 up-to-date-conditioning that are 50:52 responsible for putting in place the 50:54 particular beliefs that say my happiness 50:56 is to be found in outcome I’m the doer 50:59 and the other is the door and the 51:04 process of transformation however it 51:07 does it whether we realize it or not 51:09 when we start to see what is happening 51:13 in this process it’s a process of these 51:16 beliefs being dissolved until such time 51:22 as life continues to unfold pleasure 51:26 sometimes and pain at others and we find 51:29 ourselves without these forms of 51:33 suffering arising and then we can 51:35 conclude our life must 51:38 have changed my deeply ingrained beliefs 51:42 such that the false beliefs of do ership 51:45 an attachment to outcome and no longer 51:47 there and as a result I find myself 51:55 living in life experiencing pleasure 51:57 sometimes and pain at others and yet 52:02 peace of mind is continuous and unbroken 52:15 no one is missing anything to have human 52:22 happiness on a continuous unbroken basis 52:25 you know if someone was born into the 52:29 world with let’s say one leg missing 52:31 then it’s fair to say they’re not going 52:34 to be a champion two-legged sprinter 52:39 because they might like this let me be 52:43 clear they might become a very adept 52:45 disabled sprinter but they’ll never be a 52:49 champion two-legged sprinter because 52:52 they’re missing a leg they just simply 52:54 fundamentally can’t be a two-legged 52:56 sprinter so in that case it’s not that 53:05 person’s birthright to be a two-legged 53:09 sprinter whereas every single human 53:12 being has everything that is needed in 53:17 order to be happy no one is missing 53:19 anything 53:20 I can say that confidently because our 53:24 happiness deep down stems from the core 53:29 of who we are the core of what the human 53:33 being is which happens to be much less 53:36 unique than we might think the core of 53:42 the human being is consciousness the 53:46 same consciousness functions through all 53:49 of us and I know that consciousness is 53:56 there or you can know the consciousness 53:59 is there simply by the fact that you 54:02 register my hand and the world around 54:06 you so in any moment when the world is 54:09 registered its registered by the 54:13 consciousness that is functioning 54:15 through the human being that 54:18 consciousness is the core of the human 54:20 being it’s the same consciousness that 54:24 functions through every human being 54:26 including Buddha and Jesus 54:28 Christ or whoever sage in history you 54:32 would like to put on a pedestal and 54:36 human happiness stems not from that 54:40 consciousness growing or developing it 54:45 stemmed from that consciousness being 54:47 recognized once the consciousness wakes 54:51 up to itself once that consciousness 54:55 recognizes itself and recognizes that 54:58 what it is is the core of the human 55:01 experience then life becomes 55:06 significantly less of a threat than it 55:08 used to be before previously the human 55:12 being was convinced that they were 55:13 essentially a physical entity 55:17 waking up to the consciousness that is 55:20 flowing through each of us demonstrates 55:23 that what I am at my core is not 55:25 physical its formless awareness that in 55:31 each moment he’s unchanged unaffected by 55:36 what’s happening in the flow of life a 55:38 recognition of this means that we can 55:41 rest in our own being 55:43 meaning consciousness can drop back into 55:47 itself and when it does that from our 55:51 own experience we start to get the 55:53 feedback of peace in the moment 55:56 regardless of the circumstance we find 55:58 ourself in and so then we have our own 56:03 self confirming evidence not something 56:07 that someone has told us but our own 56:11 capacity to drop into the heart of who 56:13 we are and find that the suffering can 56:18 instantaneously get cut off even when 56:23 the circumstance continues to be painful 56:25 and the more that we drop into this 56:32 place of rest home we could say a 56:36 realization of what we are at our core a 56:39 realization of what we are at our core 56:40 that is 56:41 formless not physical not affected by 56:44 the flow of life the more unthreatened 56:50 we feel by pain in the moment remember 56:55 when we see ourselves as simply a 56:57 physical entity completely disconnected 57:01 to what we are at our core everything 57:04 that happens in life is essentially just 57:06 the flow of life pleasure or pain the 57:11 flow of life when it’s painful 57:15 he’s an attack on the physical so to the 57:20 extent that we know ourselves only as 57:21 the physical then life is an attack on 57:24 Who I am and even when life is 57:26 delivering pleasure the thoughts will be 57:28 what is going to happen when this 57:30 pleasure ends I don’t want this pleasure 57:33 to end what’s going to take its place 57:36 and so even when life is pleasurable 57:39 we’ll find ourselves suffering certain 57:43 thoughts disturbing our peace of mind 57:46 and disturbing our enjoyment of the 57:48 pleasure in the moment 57:57 so for now I’ve spoken for long enough 58:01 and there’s a microphone there I have 58:06 lots more to say but it’s a good time if 58:10 anyone has any questions to ask now if 58:13 you’re going to use the microphone can 58:16 you wait for it to come around to you 58:17 and there’s a button on the microphone 58:20 if you can hold the button in for a 58:22 second or two and the green light will 58:23 come on and if the green light is 58:26 already on then you don’t need to press 58:27 the button 58:45 hello so I can really agree with what’s 58:51 being said but sometimes question comes 58:56 at least for me personally it’s maybe 59:00 the most relevant even though the 59:03 relaxedness relaxed feeling case here 59:07 but sometimes mind plays with questions 59:10 as regarding to future which which is 59:17 certain for all of us in physical form 59:20 its death so it’s it’s the only mind 59:25 it’s the only mind game that that place 59:30 and takes place so this this formless 59:35 awareness is couldn’t be explained to 59:41 oneself so easily so that’s maybe the 59:43 answer why it comes up so if you could 59:49 have any thoughts so you are saying that 59:54 even though pieces here the subject of 59:59 death still arises exactly for for a 60:03 feat to thought for thinking not not as 60:07 a real not as real disturbance of peace 60:12 but but something to which is search for 60:16 an answer 60:16 maybe ok well so you know when you go to 60:21 sleep at night and you have deep deep 60:25 sleep or if you find yourself in 60:30 meditation and it goes deep deep deep 60:32 deep deep sometimes to the point where 60:35 when we come back we almost might or 60:40 might even say why I fell asleep where 60:43 there’s so much relaxation there isn’t 60:46 even awareness any more awareness of 60:50 nothing that there’s no awareness of 60:52 anything 60:54 there’s absolutely no problems in that 60:58 state it’s great it’s a great relief 61:00 from the burden of the flow of life even 61:04 when life is peaceful it still can be 61:08 hard work um you know the body gets 61:11 tired things to deal with we go to sleep 61:15 and it’s just a relief from that so 61:20 death to me is just a great version of 61:24 that right there’s nothing to be scared 61:28 of no one to be upset people in life 61:35 when someone died they can be upset but 61:40 death for me is the end of life and I’m 61:46 this is a bit of a controversial topic 61:49 in a sense because someone will say well 61:53 you haven’t died how do you know what 61:55 death is I have some answers for that on 62:01 the one hand well it sounds like 62:03 logically that makes sense and still I’d 62:06 say I have no doubt and I used the word 62:09 loosely when I say no doubt because I 62:11 don’t hold anything absolutely but what 62:16 makes most sense to me based on an 62:19 investigation of life so when we come to 62:22 know life fully the understanding of 62:27 life fully in my mind means I know death 62:33 life is the presence of experience so 62:38 we’ve only ever experienced life as an 62:41 experience in this moment in this moment 62:45 there are memories of having experienced 62:49 life some other time that is a memory in 62:53 this moment and even if there was 62:56 another time 62:57 that other time essentially at that time 62:59 was a present moment experience like 63:01 this so we’ve only ever experienced life 63:05 as the present moment experience and in 63:07 order for there to be experience of the 63:11 trees and the chairs and the people 63:13 ending and the body our own body which 63:17 for a long time we assume is the subject 63:20 the body is the subject that observes 63:24 all the other objects outside if we come 63:31 to investigate the present moment more 63:35 and more it’s clear to many of us that 63:38 the body actually is also an object in 63:42 the experience an object just like the 63:45 other people and chairs and trees and we 63:51 might be able to see that the present 63:53 moment is a single experience arising in 63:55 consciousness that the experience is 63:59 designed to seem like many but just like 64:03 a single painting that has many trees in 64:06 it and many birds and flowers the 64:10 content is designed to appear like many 64:13 but actually it’s a single painting so 64:16 we can come to see that life is a single 64:20 momentary experience witnessed 64:24 experienced not by the body the body is 64:28 part and parcel of the experience but 64:31 witnessed by something that is aware of 64:33 the experience you can’t have experience 64:36 unless there is awareness of it so that 64:41 quite simply is my definition of life on 64:46 a fundamental level on a fundamental 64:48 level life is a momentary experience 64:52 experienced by consciousness what is 64:58 experienced is not separate from that 65:01 which experiences it and so death – and 65:07 I’m not necessarily talking about 65:09 physical death of the body I think it 65:11 happens that physical death of the body 65:13 but let’s say I’m incorrect about the 65:18 fact 65:18 death is the absence or death of the 65:20 body is the absence of experience 65:22 because that’s my definition of death 65:24 death is the absence of life life is the 65:29 presence of experience and the life we 65:32 know is the presence of experience 65:34 including a body that seems to be the 65:37 subject seems to be the protagonist the 65:41 main character death is the absence of 65:46 life and so if when the physical body 65:50 dies let’s say I get stabbed in the 65:53 chest by someone and the knife is 65:55 sticking out and I start to feel like 66:00 I’m leaving and I’m looking at the knife 66:05 and then that’s it I die physically die 66:09 that all happened in the momentary 66:11 experience of life it was the experience 66:14 that is arising right now recognized by 66:18 consciousness in we can say the 66:21 conscious recognized by the 66:23 consciousness in which the experience 66:25 arises or we can say recognize that by 66:28 the consciousness functioning through 66:30 the body they seem different they are 66:34 different but it’s a paradox where it’s 66:38 both if once Roger dies then I find 66:44 myself in what we can say is God’s 66:46 waiting room and I’m sitting in a chair 66:50 like and suddenly the Xperia and 66:51 experience comes back and I’m sitting in 66:54 the chair and I wonder what am I where 66:56 am i what am i doing here and then out 66:59 of the corner of my eye I see the knife 67:01 sticking out and then I have a memory 67:06 says oh that’s right you were stabbed 67:09 and let’s say the experience was a 67:13 little bit more ephemeral than this like 67:16 oh I’m dead to me that’s not death 67:22 because what’s happening there is an 67:24 experience so that’s life carrying on 67:27 not that’s not death that might be what 67:31 we call 67:32 death of the body I don’t suspect let me 67:35 be clear I don’t suspect that there is a 67:37 story that carries on after death of the 67:39 body but if there is okay it’s just a 67:43 continuation of life life on a different 67:45 plane let’s say but to me the same 67:49 awareness would be they’re aware of the 67:53 experience of me sitting in a chair in 67:55 God’s waiting room and if the door opens 67:58 up and they call my name and I have to 68:00 go in there the god that is there 68:05 talking to me is an object in the 68:08 experience and the awareness that is 68:12 aware of the current experience knows 68:16 that any object a part of the experience 68:23 and are not fundamentally real and at 68:26 some point my theory here my concept 68:29 that’s being for put forward is that 68:30 even that experience will come to an end 68:34 and somewhere along the story the 68:40 experience will end and there will be 68:42 nothing there’ll be no Roger there will 68:44 be no God there’ll be no awareness of 68:46 even no awareness of nothing so that’s 68:51 death for me the end of the experience 68:54 why is it not scary why is it not 69:01 something that disturbs peace because as 69:06 you correctly say death in the story of 69:09 life relative to the body is the 69:12 ultimate assault on the button on the 69:13 body even if you live a blessed life 69:17 where this wouldn’t happen but let’s say 69:20 for the case of this example there’s 69:22 pleasure pleasure pleasure pleasure 69:23 pleasure pleasure pleasure death is an 69:27 assault on the body so why is it after 69:35 certain shifts happen why is it the 69:37 death doesn’t pose a problem given it is 69:41 the assault and the final assault on the 69:44 body 69:45 and my answer is that prior to 69:50 [Music]
69:51 recognizing this consciousness our idea 69:56 of our self is based on the experience 69:58 and the experiences largely that we are 70:00 a physical entity separate independent 70:04 walking through an objective world 70:07 meaning that there is a rock called 70:10 Earth floating in space or spinning in 70:13 space and we’re on it and we move 70:14 through life so we’re a physical entity 70:18 on a in a physical objective reality 70:20 world and what I am is separate 70:25 unconnected to anything else 70:27 and with that idea of my self life is 70:31 very scary and death being the ultimate 70:34 assault on the body is the ultimate 70:36 attack on Who I am and so deep down we 70:41 fear death 70:42 we either fear the unknown or we fear 70:47 what death is going to take away from us 70:48 the experience of life because the 70:53 deeply ingrained belief is my happiness 70:55 is to be found in life my happiness is 70:58 to be found in outcomes we know we’re 71:00 not happy when I say that we feel like 71:05 we haven’t fulfilled our purpose and so 71:10 the idea that death is going to come 71:12 doesn’t sit with us within though can’t 71:14 come yet I haven’t quite got there so 71:17 death is not only an attack on the body 71:22 but an attack on where I think my 71:23 happiness is to be found when these 71:27 beliefs fall away we realize that the 71:30 human being can be described this way 71:33 the human being is impersonal 71:36 consciousness of source that has linked 71:40 to a particular body as a vehicle and is 71:46 functioning through that body as 71:47 personal consciousness personal 71:50 consciousness is the experience that 71:52 each of us are having right now it’s an 71:55 experience 71:56 its flavor is colored by the individual 72:03 nosov who we feel our self to be which 72:07 is based on the body so it’s an 72:10 experience that is personal in a it 72:14 feels like it’s my experiences Maya 72:16 Mia’s Roger so impersonal consciousness 72:21 of source linked to a particular body as 72:24 a vehicle and then what is produced is 72:27 what we can call personal consciousness 72:29 the experience of Roger and everyone is 72:35 the same so the analogy is like 72:40 electricity that plugs into an appliance 72:43 or home appliance and there are lots of 72:46 different home appliance heaters and 72:47 fans and air conditioners and ovens 72:50 fridges each appliance is designed 72:53 differently the electricity that plugs 72:57 into it is all the same electricity and 73:00 when the electricity goes through the 73:03 vehicle it produces a specific output so 73:07 heat from the heater cold from a fridge 73:10 movement from a fan so on the output is 73:14 a direct result of the combination of 73:18 the impersonal uncharacterized 73:20 electricity and how it functions in 73:25 conjunction with the instrument and so 73:28 human beings can be seen like a whole 73:31 lot of different instruments being 73:36 enlivened by the consciousness of source 73:38 and the output which is each person’s 73:42 personal experience is completely 73:44 dependent by the physical the biological 73:48 and psychological aspects of the human 73:50 of the body and in the consciousness 73:54 that sort of fills the biological and 73:59 psychological aspects is the 74:01 consciousness of source another analogy 74:05 is white light going through a red 74:07 filter and coming out as red 74:10 light the filter the red filter is the 74:13 body the white light is impersonal 74:18 consciousness of source and what comes 74:20 out the red light which is a combination 74:22 of the two the filter and the white 74:24 light is the personal experience now in 74:30 a sage okay so sage being a name for an 74:35 enlightened being the the light is still 74:40 red light the sage who’s enlightened 74:43 doesn’t suddenly become just white light 74:46 it’s still impersonal consciousness of 74:49 source functioning through a filter as 74:52 personal consciousness so red light or 74:55 green light if it’s a green filter 74:57 orange light if it’s an orange filter so 74:59 the different colors just represent the 75:02 unique makeup of all of the different 75:05 vehicles that consciousness is 75:06 functioning through so the raja nurse is 75:13 dependent on the particular makeup of 75:15 the body and the consciousness that 75:18 functions through it now if i’m not 75:21 familiar with the consciousness that 75:23 functions through the body if that 75:25 aspect of the human being 75:27 hasn’t been recognized and the funny 75:30 thing is it’s the very core of who we 75:33 are it’s always here 75:36 it’s unchanging at its core it’s 75:39 awareness and the sense of existence and 75:41 it’s called and yet it can go unnoticed 75:42 for a whole lifetime this is the joke as 75:46 well we don’t know our self which also 75:49 seems really strange when you think 75:51 about it how can we not know our self we 75:55 are our self and yet we don’t nice off 75:57 because this divine hypnosis has been 76:00 put in place the divine hypnosis a set 76:04 of beliefs that sort of prevent 76:07 awareness from landing on itself and so 76:09 the core of the human being is not 76:11 recognized and to the extent that that’s 76:14 not recognized or we know ourself as is 76:16 the filter the white light and the red 76:21 light aren’t recognized 76:23 and we just know ourself as the filter 76:25 and so life-or-death in particular is 76:32 the complete assault on what I know 76:36 myself as when I only know myself as the 76:40 physical once there’s this awakening to 76:43 what I am of my core is consciousness 76:45 there’s a realization that when the 76:48 filter gets destroyed the red light 76:52 finishes because the red light is 76:54 dependent on the red filter but the 76:57 white light is not affected we then can 77:03 see that the experience of Roger and the 77:06 experience of everyone is like a story 77:09 in a book and the story is an experience 77:13 and it has to have an end so death is 77:17 just the end of the experience to know 77:21 ourself as that which is not changing 77:24 and not touched in the flow of life 77:26 which really means to find this field of 77:30 being and drop into there more and more 77:35 often so that we know our self to the 77:40 extent that that happens then we come to 77:42 know ourself at our core as being 77:44 impersonal not having any 77:46 characteristics not having an age or 77:51 preferences or personality and I call so 77:58 in deep meditation we realize there’s a 78:00 sense of awareness and a sense of 78:02 existence but the bodily aspects have 78:06 fallen away in meditation this doesn’t 78:09 mean that when we function in life we’re 78:14 not going to feel like we have an age 78:15 and agenda or and thing but we know that 78:18 that’s just the red light and we’ve come 78:21 to see that what I am at my core is this 78:24 impersonal awareness that actually is 78:27 unaffected by what happens in the flow 78:29 of life and ultimately unaffected by 78:32 death and so 78:35 I think your question is spot-on that’s 78:38 why I’ve spent a lot of time asking and 78:41 answering it because what you stated is 78:43 you don’t so much have fear about it but 78:48 you have questions about death so 78:51 hopefully the concepts that are put 78:54 forward here give you something to think 78:55 about something to contemplate so it’s 78:58 not necessarily addressing your fear but 79:02 hopefully putting life and death into 79:05 context giving us a reference of death 79:12 that we we have in life which is the 79:19 falling away of life and deep sleep 79:21 let’s saying or when we’re in deep 79:23 meditation where we can come to say 79:26 actually there’s not going to be anyone 79:27 there in death to have a problem and 79:31 then when we see that our fear of death 79:34 is actually based on feeling like life 79:38 is being taken away my completeness is 79:41 dependent on life being present then the 79:49 you know the errors can start to weaken 79:57 yes exactly thank you it was sort of 80:04 even from a paradoxical perspective I’m 80:10 actually asking because in my experience 80:13 when my grandfather died I was beside 80:15 and it was even the deepening of this 80:18 peace when the persons around a little 80:23 down and I could stay with him in a room 80:25 so it’s actually even the deeper 80:29 experience of let’s say if it’s non 80:33 disturbance presence in life so so to 80:35 speak this this piece is even deeper in 80:38 these encounters and also my personal 80:42 experience of unconsciousness is not 80:46 even an experience just as you’re saying 80:48 so it’s it’s actually spot on the answer 80:54 and maybe maybe the maybe I don’t know 80:59 attachment to this piece that it would 81:00 end or so to ask this question yeah just 81:06 you know we have peace in daily living 81:09 and that’s referred to as Samadhi in 81:13 well my someone will give me a different 81:16 interpretation of the word Samadhi but 81:18 Samadhi peace and daily living is the 81:21 way I mean and then in Sanskrit death is 81:25 Maha Samadhi the super Samadhi so that 81:30 is the deepest piece which is the piece 81:33 that is even free from the has a soul 81:37 really of the flow of life now why I say 81:40 I say hustle loosely at some point we 81:46 know for ourself that we’ve experienced 81:49 enough pleasure in enough pain that if I 81:52 got more pleasure it would be just more 81:55 of what I’ve experienced we might have 81:57 some new pleasures but essentially 82:00 there’s still pleasure and at some point 82:03 life gets tiring and so if anyone wished 82:09 that they would live for 82:10 I suspect that that would be a wish that 82:13 they would regret even with peace of 82:18 mind in life there’s still a burden of 82:22 the flow of life the pleasure and pain 82:25 which is much more acceptable or 82:31 completely acceptable but at some point 82:34 when the prospect of death is there with 82:39 this understanding you could actually go 82:41 that’s okay thank you very much I’ve 82:45 lived a long been off not life however 82:49 long that is I know that life is 82:52 pleasure or pain I’ve experienced 82:54 pleasure I’ve experienced player pain 82:56 now I’m happy to rest thank you 83:52 so the doer doesn’t exist as something 84:00 that actually ever does anything there 84:05 never has been a doer and there never 84:07 will be a doer so when I refer to the 84:10 doer what you might notice is often I 84:12 say the belief in do ership the belief 84:16 in personal doership the belief in 84:19 personal doership is a belief that says 84:23 when speaking happens I did it 84:27 when the body does anything I did it so 84:33 it’s a phantom that claims ownership 84:37 over what is happening so the doer 84:44 belief is what veils our true nature and 84:50 when the doer belief is in place it’s 84:53 continually trying to get some we’re 84:57 continually trying to achieve something 85:00 and what it’s trying to achieve through 85:04 its different mechanisms is happiness it 85:10 thinks that it’s going to get happiness 85:11 by achieving certain pleasures really 85:17 when we look at it the experience has to 85:21 be mildly or intensely uncomfortable 85:23 because the doer belief exists so when 85:30 the doer belief exists there is going to 85:32 be an uncomfortableness with oneself 85:34 because the doer belief is a false idea 85:38 of who we are like it’s when we look at 85:40 the story of the doer it’s completely 85:43 wrong about life and completely wrong 85:46 about what it is and so once that’s 85:51 functioning there’s just an 85:53 uncomfortableness with oneself because 85:55 it’s like trying to fit a glove that has 85:58 place for two fingers into like fitting 86:01 a five finger hand into a two finger 86:03 glove 86:04 it’s just not going to fit to the extent 86:07 we know ourself in correctly there’s 86:08 uncomfortableness and then that 86:10 uncomfortableness drives the solution 86:13 for the uncomfortableness and the 86:16 solution that is presented out of the 86:21 uncomfortableness is fix this and you’ll 86:25 fix it by achieving this or that that’s 86:30 the solution that the doer comes up with 86:35 the irony is that the doer is the false 86:40 idea of oneself it is the 86:43 uncomfortableness and so the happiness 86:48 we’re looking for which is the end of 86:49 uncomfortableness or the end of 86:51 suffering really means the end of the 86:55 doer so it means stop trying to get so 86:59 stop trying to do something but the 87:03 words stop trying to get somewhere will 87:06 be quite possibly received by the doer 87:10 that says are ok I’ve been trying to get 87:13 somewhere and do something now I have to 87:15 stop trying to get somewhere and do 87:19 something and so if the doer here is 87:22 these words the doer is who’s and the 87:24 doer is feeling uncomfortable and now 87:26 the doer has heard that you’re 87:29 uncomfortableness is there because 87:33 you’re trying to get somewhere and 87:34 trying to do something so the doiis is 87:37 okay now I’m going to stop my mission is 87:41 to stop trying to get somewhere and 87:43 trying to do something which is in fact 87:46 the doer giving itself a new mission of 87:49 doing something now it’s going to try 87:52 and stop doing something so if we find 87:57 that the doer hears this and says okay 88:00 so now my job is to in suffering it’s 88:04 not going to happen because the doer is 88:06 just keeping itself alive so as I said 88:11 before I’m speaking to the working mind 88:15 the working mind is being equipped with 88:18 concepts so the working mind isn’t a 88:21 doer either and the mind is a machine 88:24 that once it gets programmed a certain 88:28 way functions automatically so thinking 88:33 is a result of the mind being programmed 88:35 or certainly the doer ship thoughts is a 88:38 result of the mind being programmed a 88:40 certain way now the mind is being given 88:43 new information that says the problem is 88:50 the doing aspect of the mind the belief 88:56 in the mind that says I need to do 88:58 something and I need to get somewhere 89:04 and we’re talking about the different 89:09 forms of suffering which are this 89:11 principle 89:12 so if awareness lands on suffering when 89:17 it’s there and it recognizes oh that’s 89:20 because I’m trying to get somewhere I’m 89:24 trying to achieve happiness through 89:26 outcomes and then a thought comes up now 89:31 I have to stop doing this I have to work 89:34 hard and making sure I don’t do this so 89:39 that’s now the dog chasing its tail 89:43 because the doer is now saying now I 89:46 have to get somewhere I need to stop 89:48 doing this and one day the working mind 89:52 might see that this is the dog chasing 89:55 its tail and when it sees it it sees wow 90:01 me trying to get somewhere is my 90:03 uncomfortableness it’s the doer belief 90:06 me trying to stop is my 90:10 uncomfortableness it’s the doer belief 90:12 and then at some instant the working 90:15 mind just like gets it just stopped 90:22 not as something 90:27 attempt to do as a strategy not 90:33 something as attempts to do as a mission 90:35 it just sees the the working mind the 90:39 doer mind always trying to control and 90:43 when it recognizes this is the problem 90:46 stop 91:15 stopping happened we don’t do stopping 91:23 you know if you’re doing stopping it’s 91:26 not stopping 91:29 it’s like surrender you can’t surrender 91:33 if you try to surrender it’s not 91:38 surrender surrender happens when 92:04 and something’s here when the stop 92:06 happened in fact everything’s here when 92:09 the stop happens the stop is simply the 92:13 mind stops the experience of life is 92:18 still here it’s like oh here I am like 92:26 oh here I am the awareness and the sense 92:30 of existence is here to be seen but not 92:34 with the mind if the mind tries to see 92:38 awareness and the sense of existence 92:40 then the mind is trying to is looking 92:44 for awareness in the sense of existence 92:46 in the mind where it doesn’t exist so 92:53 awareness is recognized when the 92:55 thinking stopped and the life experience 93:00 is still here and what prevents the 93:05 stopping from happening is the deeply 93:07 ingrained idea that my happiness is to 93:10 be found in life looking a certain way 93:11 so it doesn’t make sense for me to stop 93:13 why would I stop if I think like 93:16 stopping is like yeah now I have more to 93:19 catch up with if I stop if the working 93:22 mind somehow starts to get it me trying 93:27 to go somewhere which I’ve always 93:28 thought on actually the working mind the 93:31 thinking mind has always done it because 93:34 it thinks this is good for me and we 93:38 blame people because somewhere in the 93:40 system somewhere it’s being registered 93:42 as this being a good thing to do blame 93:46 is good to do when we start to see that 93:49 blame is my my uncomfortableness with 93:52 the other so blame is seen the other as 93:55 the doer blaming them for what they did 93:58 that delivered pain which I receive as 94:01 an attack on Who I am and we feel like I 94:05 have to blame you it serves a purpose 94:08 and when we really look at it the only 94:11 purpose it serves is to make ourselves 94:13 uncomfortable with 94:14 situation and the same with when it 94:18 dawns on us that my trying to get 94:21 somewhere obsessively get somewhere 94:24 is what keeps me from being where I want 94:27 to be we don’t have to go anywhere to be 94:29 happy no one is missing anything so 94:32 going back to no one is missing anything 94:35 the fact is everyone has way too much 94:39 the process of the end of suffering is 94:46 not the gaining but the the throwing out 94:48 which we don’t do we don’t do the 94:50 throwing out life throws out a whole lot 94:52 of additional stuff that we have that 94:56 life has put in place so we’re not the 95:00 doer means we didn’t put the error in 95:02 place life put the error in place for a 95:06 particular reason 95:07 in order for life to turn out exactly 95:10 the way it turns out this is a this is 95:12 an experience of God of forgetting 95:15 itself and then God’s suffering at some 95:21 point God remembering itself and the 95:24 suffering coming to an end so the story 95:27 of life from the beginning of time to 95:28 the end of time is a creation completely 95:34 predetermined to unfold exactly as it’s 95:37 created there isn’t a you or me bringing 95:42 about what happens the only way in which 95:45 you and me contribute towards what is 95:49 happening is by doing in each moment 95:52 what we think or feel to do which 95:54 actually is God’s will happening God’s 95:58 will happening in in such a way that the 96:01 destined story of life unfolds exactly 96:04 as it’s destined to unfold how we can 96:08 see it’s God’s will happening is that 96:10 God has designed when I say God I don’t 96:13 mean some personal God that we imagine 96:15 out there looking in on the creation 96:18 laughing or you know saying this is 96:21 terror 96:21 why is it happening like this or like 96:23 puppets at the end of a string that’s a 96:27 concept of a god that doesn’t exist and 96:30 to the extent that we have that concept 96:33 of God we have a false idea of life in a 96:35 you know part of the problem but in this 96:39 teaching it is God as pure potentiality 96:43 consciousness at rest source so bubbling 96:48 potentiality at some point has to 96:51 manifest so the potentiality at some 96:55 point actualizes and what it actually 96:58 zz’s into is the story of life the 97:01 manifestation what we experience moment 97:05 after moment after moment and God has 97:09 become the mountains and the rivers and 97:11 the birds and the people and the actions 97:13 God has become the victim and the 97:16 perpetrator 97:17 so God isn’t inflicting suffering on 97:21 someone God has become the someone who 97:28 is being perpetrated God has become the 97:32 victim and God has become the attacker 97:35 or the perpetrator so you and I are God 97:40 in form along with the whole universe 97:44 God in form so consciousness at rest 97:48 bubbling potentiality at some point 97:51 explodes into the story of life from 97:53 beginning of time to the end of time and 97:58 that some point in the story God was 98:02 experiencing life through the dinosaurs 98:06 which assuming that existed at some 98:08 point according to you know what 98:10 evidence seems to be there in this 98:12 present moment story it suggests there 98:14 was a past with Dinosaurs 98:17 and so God was functioning through the 98:20 vehicle of a dinosaur the dinosaur had 98:23 its personal consciousness experience so 98:25 God was experiencing life from the 98:27 perspective of dinosaurs the most 98:29 complex vehicle through which 98:32 this was functioning and then this story 98:36 of God forgetting itself is a story of 98:39 evolution a story of cause and effect 98:42 when we look at it that’s how life 98:43 unfolds as if cause and effect is real 98:47 so the story follows the rule of cause 98:51 and effect and the dinosaurs evolved 98:55 let’s say or life evolved to a point 98:58 where it’s functioning through a much 99:00 more complex vehicle so now God has a 99:04 more complex experience of life so God 99:09 has created a playground has become the 99:14 playground in order to experience what 99:16 it can never be God can never be 99:19 separate can’t tear itself into seven 99:23 billion little pieces because God is 99:25 energy all there is so it creates a 99:29 playground where it can create the 99:33 apparent mini and then experience itself 99:38 for a short period of time as something 99:42 it can never actually be but for the 99:45 experience of it why not 99:53 horror movies horror movies are a valid 99:56 genre of movies so life we could say is 100:01 a creation of time and space creation of 100:05 cause and effect creation of duality so 100:11 within this creation which is a creation 100:15 of duality there is good and bad big and 100:18 small health and disease wealth and 100:20 poverty extremely evil or cruel act an 100:27 extremely kind act it’s an experience of 100:31 duality so it’s going to have both good 100:36 and bad in us so when we have this 100:39 question why did God create poverty 100:44 because he created wealth why did he 100:48 create unkindness because he created 100:51 kindness and remember when I say he 100:53 created we’re saying it energy became 100:59 kindness and unkindness 101:02 so the human that is identified with 101:06 being this and feels like it’s 101:09 completeness is dependent on pleasure 101:12 pleasure pleasure pleasure simply can’t 101:16 accept or understand pain it’s not 101:22 acceptable to the human that sees life 101:24 as my doing and the other doing it can’t 101:28 be that way from the perspective of 101:32 knowing ourselves as something 101:34 unaffected by the flow of pleasure and 101:36 pain then life as a duality is 101:40 acceptable it’s a creation and so then 101:44 the question why because why not 101:53 the quick question why falls away why 101:56 why are there terrorist attacks because 102:00 it’s part of the story of life terrorist 102:04 attacks are extremely painful and tragic 102:11 but it makes sense that tragedy is 102:13 included in this this creation of 102:17 extremes so then when we see tragic 102:20 acting say yes that is tragic doesn’t 102:25 this doesn’t make the not tragic it 102:28 doesn’t make them pleasurable or nice at 102:30 far from it 102:32 it makes them tragic but we understand 102:36 the place that tragedy holds in life 103:02 another way of refocusing our attention 103:08 which is important is to see that the 103:10 universe in any moment 103:12 based on our experience is about this 103:15 big the experience of life is here to 103:21 the extent that we have an idea of the 103:24 universe being massive and that there is 103:28 a universe out there that is a belief 103:32 system about life that prevents life as 103:39 an experience being recognized the 103:42 experience is right here and the 103:44 experience extends as far as our field 103:48 of awareness extends and the field of 103:50 awareness that we’re aware of is the 103:53 field of awareness that we can call the 103:55 personal consciousness which extends as 103:59 far as the senses extend so my universe 104:05 is this big if we want to come to know 104:09 the universe this is the universe we 104:13 need to come to know this present moment 104:15 experience the I you know the the the 104:19 notion that one day I will know the 104:22 universe yeah I agree with that but 104:24 we’re not going to know the universe um 104:27 out there we’re not going to suddenly 104:31 understand all of the cosmic laws but 104:35 the very basic fundamental recognition 104:39 of what the universe is as an experience 104:41 is intimately knowable that means the 104:45 experiences here right now and there’s 104:48 nothing outside of the experience if 104:51 we’re really present will say I can’t 104:53 confirm that there is Australia in 104:57 England in America anyway that’s hearsay 105:01 I don’t want to believe anything it 105:05 turns out that beliefs about who we are 105:08 and what life is is what prevents us 105:11 from knowing us 105:12 the belief that there is a here and are 105:15 there a belief that is unchallenged you 105:20 know we don’t challenge that there is 105:23 you know in Australia and in England and 105:25 in America out there it’s like on here 105:29 but it’s out that that belief is part of 105:35 the beliefs that keeps us convinced that 105:39 time and space is a reality not an 105:42 experience it keeps us convinced that 105:46 time and space is absolute whereas 105:49 actually it’s very relative it keeps us 105:53 convinced that the world and Who I am is 105:57 an objective reality and all of those 106:02 beliefs which are put in place not 106:05 because our parents didn’t come round 106:06 and say hey you know this is an 106:07 objective reality the experience itself 106:11 is designed to convince us of that so 106:17 the experience unfolds in a way that 106:21 makes it see that the world continuous 106:28 if the experience of life didn’t appear 106:33 moment after moment in a consistent way 106:36 a bit like a dream where a dream can be 106:40 less linear then what appears that in 106:45 daily living then we’d start to realize 106:48 this is an experience one minute it can 106:51 be this next minute something else but 106:54 the way life is designed is for it to 106:56 consistently appear as if it’s an 106:58 objective reality so the experience of 107:00 life is just before we go to sleep we’re 107:02 in a bed in a room the next experience 107:06 is of waking up like well that that’s 107:10 what if the experience feels like yeah I 107:12 went to sleep last night and we wake up 107:14 in a room that we see this is the room I 107:17 went to sleep in last night so it’s 107:18 designed to be continuous and life as an 107:23 experience is actually 107:25 not different from dream dream is an 107:28 experience recognized by consciousness 107:31 and we can start to see this if our 107:34 dreams were consistently of the 107:38 environment that we live in in the daily 107:41 life experience so with the same friends 107:44 we have the same clothes living in the 107:46 same house 107:47 we’d have absolutely no idea what 107:50 happened in our dream and what happened 107:53 in life so if in your dream you take 107:57 your clothes to the laundry the and the 108:03 dream is consistent with your daily life 108:05 experience in your daily life experience 108:08 you’ll be wondering did I take my 108:10 clothes to the laundry and you’ll have 108:13 no way of knowing what happened in the 108:16 dream and what happened in life which 108:18 really means life is a dream the reason 108:23 we here life is a dream in wisdom 108:25 teachings it’s because it’s pointing to 108:27 the fact life is a experience a 108:31 momentary experience that is designed to 108:34 appear like a reality an experience 108:37 specifically designed to convince us 108:40 that it’s something that it isn’t that’s 108:45 why we life is an illusion life is Maya 108:51 delusion life is Lila a play a play in 108:57 consciousness all of this pointing to 109:03 the fact that life is an experience 109:06 designed specifically to create an 109:11 impression about who we are and what 109:13 life is that is inaccurate means the 109:16 forgetting of oneself means the living 109:19 life in fear resisting life thinking 109:23 that this is who I am and this is life 109:26 and I need it to be a certain way and at 109:30 some point an awakening to the fact it’s 109:34 a dream we don’t awaken up out of the 109:36 dream 109:38 we awaken to the fact it is a dream and 109:42 then the dream carries on 109:44 but now the dream carries on with us 109:47 being connected to something deeper 109:50 meaning that the dream is known to be 109:53 inconsequential to what I am of my core 109:56 in fact what I am at my core is the very 110:00 substance in which the dream is arising 110:03 what I am at my core is that in which 110:07 the dream arises that which is aware of 110:10 the dream and that which the dream is 110:14 made of 110:28 so we have a little bit more time if any 110:31 questions have arisen there so going 110:45 back to this belief in doer shift so if 110:55 if there is no doer then what it like 111:02 who is it that has this belief in do 111:06 ership and I’m asking because when I 111:10 hear that suffering arises from these 111:16 beliefs of personal doer ship and 111:23 attachment to 111:27 pleasure my my reaction is to then want 111:34 to investigate these police with with 111:39 the purpose of undoing them but I don’t 111:43 know if I’m like that dog chasing its 111:46 tail where is that coming from a sense 111:50 of do you know am I trying to get rid of 111:53 it it can be but um if it arises as a 111:58 contemplation of these concepts I mean 112:02 even other teachings but I’m talking 112:03 about these teachings if it arises is a 112:06 contemplation of these concepts and 112:08 there is a astute awareness of what 112:13 suffering looks like which the concepts 112:18 hope to put in place so the concepts is 112:21 that suffering is ultimately an 112:24 uncomfortableness with oneself and to 112:28 the extent that we feel this 112:30 uncomfortable witness with oneself and 112:33 become familiar with it then we can 112:38 become aware our this is suffering and 112:42 so if we find ourselves engaging in the 112:45 teachings in an unhealthy way meaning if 112:50 the doer here is something and then the 112:53 doer starts trying to achieve something 112:55 because of what it heard then suffering 112:58 is going to arrive that’s just 113:00 inevitable when the doer is functioning 113:03 suffering is going to be there and at 113:04 some point awareness will land on the 113:06 suffering and another inquiry will be so 113:10 what has gone wrong as the doer 113:15 taken up residence through the back door 113:19 which is very good at doing and to the 113:22 extent that our awareness starts to 113:25 become more and more finely tuned to 113:27 what suffering feels like and it can 113:31 catch the suffering and to the extent 113:34 that the working mind becomes more and 113:36 more equipped to understand 113:39 dynamics that are at the base of 113:41 suffering then the combination of 113:43 awareness catching the suffering and the 113:45 working mind doing an investigation into 113:48 the suffering will reveal the doer 113:53 that’s taken hold and it will dissolve 113:57 so your question is who life has put 114:04 these false beliefs in place who has the 114:08 beliefs and that’s an assumption based 114:11 on our way of seeing life in where we 114:16 could say in the general terms where 114:18 we’ve believed certain things to be 114:21 absolute laws so we’re convinced the 114:25 doer is convinced that if there is a 114:27 belief there must be a believer of the 114:29 belief now that’s an assumption that 114:33 isn’t how the universe works if there is 114:38 a belief that doesn’t have to be a 114:40 believer in fact the pointers are 114:45 pointing to the fact there is no 114:47 believer there is a body which is 114:51 essentially a biological instrument a 114:53 machine and the machine has been 114:57 programmed to function a certain way so 115:00 the body includes the brain the brain is 115:03 part of the body the brain is like a 115:06 cookie machine that spits out thoughts 115:10 the brain is a machine that spits out 115:13 thoughts it’s a machine that spits out 115:17 thoughts that include I did this I need 115:22 this you did that you should and 115:25 shouldn’t have done that 115:26 and so the thoughts that come out create 115:29 the impression of a me a doer and so who 115:37 this is the thing if I say in in 115:41 spirituality there’s a well in non-dual 115:44 spirituality sometimes in certain 115:47 teachings we’ll hear the 115:49 who wants to know who is seeking 115:54 happiness who has these thoughts and 116:00 it’s like who well I what you mean who 116:04 what it’s pointing at is find the who 116:08 find the thinker of the thoughts so when 116:12 we really look for the thinker of the 116:15 thought we don’t find anyone there this 116:19 teaching is saying that the thoughts 116:21 arise based on the body’s genes and 116:24 up-to-date-conditioning so essentially 116:26 saying there is a body with a brain part 116:30 of the body the brain is responsible for 116:33 producing thoughts and the thoughts come 116:36 from the brain specific makeup genes and 116:39 up-to-date-conditioning it’s like a 116:42 computer for computer is designed to 116:44 spit out sentences spit out words fit 116:48 out well I don’t use the word thought 116:52 because a computer needs to produce a 116:54 physical output like typing or sound um 116:59 it will do that it will produce whatever 117:01 it’s designed to produce and just 117:04 because it says to you hi hello how are 117:06 you 117:07 doesn’t mean that there is a speaker or 117:10 a thinker it just means the computer is 117:14 designed to produce those words so this 117:19 personal sense of me that’s an agent of 117:26 life is is really just a set of beliefs 117:29 which is why you’re saying it’s enough 117:31 to investigate these belief yes even see 117:38 this is a bit of a distinction the word 117:40 me often refers to the me that I think 117:45 they eat what used to be referred to as 117:48 the ego in this teaching it’s not 117:50 referred to as the ego in this teaching 117:53 I am the ego I’ll always be the ego the 117:56 ego doesn’t go any way but you have an 118:00 ego with 118:01 the belief in personal due issue or an 118:04 ego without the belief in personal 118:07 doership and so the me aspect is 118:11 referring to the belief in personal 118:13 doership an attachment to outcome so the 118:16 me is the the beliefs and the thoughts 118:20 that take life personally that are 118:23 moving in a certain direction so the me 118:27 is the belief in personal doership that 118:29 can be completely annihilated 118:37 it gets annihilated when those beliefs 118:41 are investigated and seen to actually be 118:44 beliefs coming from a programmed 118:47 instrument and where we sort of separate 118:52 because the thoughts are now able to be 118:55 seen as objects objects produced by an 118:58 object and what is aware of those 119:01 objects is not an object 119:03 what is aware of those objects is the 119:06 subject the thoughts are not able to be 119:11 observed as objects when we believe I 119:15 think those thoughts once it becomes 119:19 clear that the thoughts are objects 119:20 produced by an instrument then a 119:23 witnessing of the thoughts as objects 119:26 can happen when that is seen there seem 119:32 to be less true than we thought before 119:35 and certain thoughts can fall away that 119:40 doesn’t mean that the personal nurse 119:43 falls away when the belief in doer ship 119:46 falls away there is still the sense that 119:49 I am Roger so I am Roger isn’t the 119:57 problem so just to clarify what you’re 120:02 saying but in these teachings what you 120:04 when you say ego you’re talking about 120:07 personal that personal consciousness 120:12 when when in this teaching when we talk 120:15 about ego we’re talking about the 120:17 combination of impersonal consciousness 120:19 and the body and the personal 120:22 consciousness so the ego doesn’t go 120:25 anywhere and this like a doubter was an 120:28 ego Ramesh was an ego the Buddha was an 120:30 ego and they were an ego until the point 120:33 of death of the body the differentiation 120:37 here is that you have an ego with the 120:39 belief in personal doership an 120:41 attachment to outcome and a belief and 120:43 an ego without the belief the ego 120:47 without the belief in personal due issue 120:49 has recognized that it is an instrument 120:52 through which source is functioning that 120:55 it is a personal expression of source 120:57 but it is not separate from source so 121:02 the belief in personal do ership 121:04 obscures our connection to source the 121:07 collapsing of the belief in personal 121:09 doership means our connection to source 121:11 is revealed and that is the source of 121:13 our contentment that is the realization 121:17 that what I am is not a separate limited 121:19 individual entity what I am is source 121:23 functioning through a vehicle and so for 121:30 as long as life continues the experience 121:33 is going to be of an individual which is 121:35 a result of the impersonal consciousness 121:37 and the body but that sense of being an 121:41 individual is not exclusive the sense of 121:46 being an individual is now not treated 121:48 to be absolute it’s known to be part of 121:52 the experience and in the experience as 121:54 well as knowing myself as an individual 121:57 it’s known that the individual is 121:59 actually an extension and expression of 122:01 source thank you these talks will be 122:08 recorded enough on YouTube so you can 122:12 listen to actually this is something I’d 122:13 like to say to people here and that 122:16 listen one of the phenomenas that we 122:20 tend to have as humans is we think I’ve 122:22 experienced that so now I need something 122:26 new and in spiritual teachings what’s 122:30 said needs to penetrate down through 122:33 many many layers of beliefs that to the 122:37 contrary of what said so my experience 122:40 is when I read a book not one or two 122:43 times but 10 times when I listen to 122:46 recordings not 10 or 15 times but 30 or 122:50 40 times each time I listen to a 122:54 recording I was hearing something new 122:58 a new person essentially was listening 123:00 to the recording because when I heard it 123:04 previously it would have an effect on my 123:06 genes and up-to-date-conditioning and 123:08 there’s a preciseness in the concepts so 123:12 if we listen to it and then rewind it 123:16 and listen to it again if we listen to 123:18 it over and that the recording the whole 123:20 2 hours 10 times that’s not a waste of 123:24 time that’s an opportunity for the 123:29 concepts to become deeply understood 123:32 first on an intellectual level and then 123:35 the intellectual life level turns into a 123:38 deeper and deeper understanding as the 123:40 intellectual understanding picks up what 123:44 it’s pointing at in life so it puts a 123:48 tick next to the concepts each time it 123:51 observes the concept in action each time 123:54 it observes life happening in line with 123:57 what the concept points out so tomorrow 124:01 I’ll talk about how that intellectual 124:02 understanding goes deeper and deeper and 124:04 I’d also like to talk about how we can 124:08 use dreams 124:09 an analysis of dream as a mirror down 124:14 version of life meaning we can 124:18 investigate night dreams to see how life 124:22 is actually an arising in consciousness 124:24 and that what happens in the flow of 124:27 life meaning this right now the words 124:30 the sensations I just like what happens 124:35 in a dream the dream character isn’t the 124:38 one that chooses what the content of the 124:41 dream is and yet the dream is designed 124:44 for the dream character to be convinced 124:47 based on the experience of the dream 124:49 that of course he chooses what is 124:53 happening in the dream of course he 124:55 chooses what he says and what he does 124:57 and what the outcomes are 125:03 so thank you everyone