01 October 2009

Guest Article: 'Why Online Relationships Work' by Adrienne Carlson

This guest article was written by Adrienne Carlson, who regularly writes on the topic of forensic scientist schools . Adrienne welcomes your comments and questions at her email address: adrienne.carlson83@yahoo.com

Why Online Relationships Work

There are times when relationships can drive you up the wall, when you feel both love and hatred for the same person and it confuses you no end. But there are also other times when relationships are the lifeblood of your existence, when they are the reason you are happy and content and peaceful with your life. They’re complex, they’re compelling and they’re contradictory, and relationships are a vital part of our lives. Some are easier than others though, and in my book, online relationships work better than those we maintain face to face, because:
• You are more in control: When you have an online relationship with a friend or a lover, you don’t have the luxury of showing your emotions immediately. This means that you avoid showing even your anger and other negative emotions in the heat of the moment. Instinctive reactions are responsible for more break-ups that you would care to count, and when this option is removed and you have more time to think and reply after a while, you tend to stay together for a longer time without any major arguments or fights. You learn how to control yourself and your mouth (or rather your fingers) the longer you are in an online relationship.

• You are able to stay in touch more regularly: Since the whole world has shifted online, it’s easier to stay in touch when you’re in an online relationship. You’re both on the same social networks, you have dedicated IMs for each other, and emails are reserved for romance and even sex. With all these avenues of communication, it’s easy to keep track of each other and stay together even though you’re far apart.

• It offers the best of both worlds: Online relationships allow you to be as intimate as you want even while giving you your own space and privacy. You always have the option to meet and enjoy each other’s company, but when you want some breathing space, it’s easy to just go back to sitting behind the computer screen. Any relationship thrives only when both partners have their own space, so you can see why online relationships work.

Of course, on the downside, there is the fact that there is no sense of touch or sight in the online world, and you lose out on a lot because of this. There is also the lack of emotions or rather the perception of emotions. But as with everything in life, we have to embrace the advantages while ignoring the disadvantages if we are to enjoy the best it has to offer.

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This is the personal blog of Milton Broome, the digital avatar of University of Derby Senior Lecturer in Psychology Dr Simon Bignell. The avatar is a proxy for Psychology teaching and research in 3D multi-user virtual environments. I am a Developmental Psychologist by training with a strong interest in Cyberpsychology and Cognitive Psychology.

I teach a range of Psychology modules both to campus-based and distance learners. I lead the final-year course 'Autism, Asperger's and ADHD'; the final year course 'Educational Psychology', and teach on a range of modules across Developmental and Cognitive Psychology.

I led the JISC and HEA-funded projectthat evaluated teaching and research in the 3D virtual world Second Life. I would be pleased to talk with you if you share these interests. Please feel free to comment, subscribe, forward or quote extracts from this blog. I also welcome relevant guest articles.

Contact: Dr Simon Bignell (SL Avatar: Milton Broome) Senior Lecturer in Psychology, Centre for Psychological Research, University of Derby, UK. Email: s.bignell@derby.ac.ukThis is a personal blog and all views expressed here are the opinions of the individual authors at the time of publication and not those of any academic institution.

Virtual Research

SL-Labs is the Virtual Psychology research space in the digital environment 'Second Life' run by the Psychology Department at University of Derby, UK. You can visit this in the virtual world Second Life by clicking on the above image.

PREVIEW-Psych project

The PREVIEW-Psych problem-based learning virtual worlds project. You can visit this in the virtual world Second Life by clicking on the above image.