Facts of life as discovered by me for everyone to enjoy and comment on

Friday, December 09, 2005

CUSTOMER CARE today and tomorrow

CUSTOMER CARE IN 2020>> Operator : "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your...">> Customer: "Heloo, can I order..">> Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?"> Customer: "It's eh..., hold..........> on......889861356102049998-45-54610">> Operator : "OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17> Jalan Kayu. Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and> your mobile is 0142662566. Which number are you calling from now> Sir?">> Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?>> Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir">> Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza...">> Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir">> Customer: "How come?">> Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood> pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir">> Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?">> Operator : "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it">> Customer: "How do you know for sure?">> Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes"> from the National Library last week Sir">> Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how> much will that cost?">> Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The> total is $49.99">> Customer: "Can I pay by! credit card?">> Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit> card is over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since October> last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your> housing loan, Sir.">> Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and> withdraw some cash before your guy arrives">> Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records,you've reached your> daily limit on machine withdrawal today">> Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash> ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?">> Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can> always come and collect it on your motorcycle...">> Customer: " What!">> Operator : "According to the details in system ,you own a> Scooter,...registration number 1123...">> Customer: " ????">> Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?">> Customer: "Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free> bottles of cola as advertised?">> Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're> also>> diabetic....... ">> Customer: #$$^%&$@$%>> Operator "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987> you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?">> Customer: [Faints]