Results or Resignations? Here’s Where to Start…

VKM was reportedly raging at his producers before Raw. First he demoted Brian Gewirtz, Raw’s head writer for over a decade, then said, “I want results, or I want resignations.”

OK. How about starting with your own?

Oh, wait…owners can’t quit, can they? That’s a shame. I’m no Gewirtz fan, but to act like he’s responsible for Raw’s devolution is insane. When Vince Russo’s “Attitude” booking hit big, many were quick to say (and rightly so) that, hey…VKM has final say. He knew how to filter Russo. What worked and what didn’t.

If you want to give VKM credit for that, blame him for this. Because Raw is just a bloated mess. An hour too long. Saturated w/social media beyond reason or benefit. Precious few stars. “Comedy” that just isn’t funny. Mondo blando PG because VKM’s missus is running for Senate. The best play-by-play man ever mostly inactive because he doesn’t fit VKM’s visual ideal.

Now…which part of that isn’t VKM’s fault?

VKM’s solution, of course, came straight from the Virgil Runnels playbook: YOU CAN ONLY TRUST YOURSELF. VKM put himself on TV, in Raw’s main event, where his No. 2 star was put in the ill-advised position of SELLING FOR A GRANDFATHER. VKM should have strangled C.M. Punk with his turkey wattles.

VKM, 67, hit the squared circle one month after a 62-yard old man had a heart attack just after completing a match. What a PR dream. If anybody’s gonna die in MY RING, it’s GONNA BE ME!

Vince, I think you’ve lost your mind. I don’t think you have a clue about wrestling in 2012. The ratings show it. Your product certainly doesn’t pass the eye test. Domestic gates suck. WWE is clearly reaping the negativity of pushing part-timers over full-timers. WWE has one legit big-time wrestling star, and he’s a babyface, but half the fans boo him. It’s broken.

So fix it.

If you know so F’ing much, if you can stomp around like a baby who lost his rattle and threaten your underlings’ employment, if you can scream into the announcers’ headsets by way of micromanaging guys who are far better at that job than you ever were (“WHATTA MANEUVER!”), then SHUT YOUR MOUTH, ROLL UP YOUR SLEEVES, AND GET TO WORK. We’ve had to tolerate 30 years of your self-aggrandizement, some deserved, some not, but here’s your chance to prove it was you all along. FIX IT.

Problem is, it wasn’t you all along.

Some of it was Hulk Hogan. Some of it was Steve Austin. Some of it was The Rock. Hogan wasn’t your creation. Austin was his own creation. The Rock was organic. You didn’t make those guys. Want proof? WHO HAVE YOU MADE LATELY?

Some of it was right place, right time. Some of it was incompetent competition. A lot of it was bullying. Once upon a time you listened to people who were smarter than you.

You had guts. You utilized leverage. You saw the big picture. But creatively, HOW MUCH OF IT WAS REALLY YOU?

Replace Gewirtz yourself. Don’t just yay or nay, hire and fire. Your main show needs a head writer. WRITE. All your other duties don’t matter if you can’t find somebody to get that right.

But VKM will never assume that duty. It’s beneath him. He enjoys yelling at his minions too much.

Most of all, VKM is SCARED.

Scared it never was him. Scared he’s out of ideas. Scared it’s almost over. Scared wrestling has run its course.

If the latter isn’t true, the business is, at least, in a deep lull. When WWE’s ratings and Impact’s ratings hit cataclysmic lows in the same week, you can’t blame either company. People just don’t care about fake wrestling very much right now.

As the beloved former co-host of America’s second highest-rated cable program ever – look it up; my ratings were never this low – I certainly have to be high on the list of logical saviors. But I’m removing my hat from the ring. TOO MUCH YELLING.

One question torments me: When Vince was in the ring, who was berating the announcers? What was it like actually being left to do your job with confidence and tranquility?