Along Route 74: Getting hit by your belt getting dressed

During this Along Route 74 adventure the last few years the topic has focused on mundane items several times.

Everything from keys to neckties, milkshakes, typewriters, and road maps has been discussed.

Here’s one more – the ordinary ‘belt’ men wear to hold trousers in place.

Recently, finding a belt that does the job without jabbing oneself in the gut unpleasantly has become harder to do. I’m at the age, and weight, that some folks feel suspenders might be worth a try but I’m not ready to go that fashion direction just yet.

Belts used to last a long time. I remember once in The Star newsroom, when a rookie reporter said something that got on my nerves, I answered “I’ve got belts older than you in my closet.”

No longer.

It seems every four-or-five months I go on the quest to find another belt. The old ones just wear out. There’s nothing worse than being dressed in your best suit, then looking in the mirror and realizing the belt you put on has faded or looks threadbare in spots.

Finding a new one that fits is a hassle. In the last few years, it’s has become normal to get out a nail, a hammer and a board to create another hole or two so said belt will fit better.

I’ve also learned a couple of lessons on belt-buying. It seems the two-way reversible belts wear out even faster. The process of turning it to match your wardrobe has the effect of pulling the ‘buckle’ loose from the leather over time.

Also, those double-prong catches on belts are a waste of time for folks with body types like mine. Trying to use a mirror to get the second prong into the hole on your belt buckle is more trouble than its worth.

I used to think large belt buckles – which seem to go more with western wear – were pretty neat. But those don’t seem to work for me either. In fact, I have an old ‘Philmont Scout Ranch’ belt hanging in my front room for decoration with no intent of ever wearing it.

Belts have to just be filed into the ‘necessary evil’ category.

Thank heavens they exist but now slipping one through the loops on your pants and fastening them has become one of life’s little headaches.