Friday, November 23, 2012

Just a little tearful here for when shopping used to be, you know, enjoyable. What used to be a fun day off from the drudgery of work and school seems to have become a competitive shopping event for people who, as Oscar Wilde once observed, "know the price of everything and the value of nothing." Here's a tip: You are not defined by your possessions. Don't get me wrong-like any normal guy I've got needs: What man doesn't swoon at the idea of owning a hand made guitar, a finely-crafted firearm or a well-honed blade? You know, guy stuff. But, like my beloved 30-year old Polk Audio Monitors, surplus Department of Defense vintage desk (I'm sitting at it now, and it was free!), and cherished collection of hand-me-down tools, you won't find any of these things at Wal-Mart or Target, no matter how early you get up.

We had plenty of local or regional stores to drop some coin in when I was coming up in the Toledo/Detroit/A2 area, and none of them asked us to get up at 3:00 in the morning and behave like idiot.

The big three for our family were Hudson's (Detroit), Lion (Toledo based, but owned byMercantile Stores Company, Inc. of Cincinnati) and Jacobson's (Jackson, Mi). Then we'd hit the trifecta of Toledo-owned specialty retailers, Hobby Center Toys, Athletic Supply, and Jamiesons Audio. A quick stop at Churchill's Adventure Shop and Boogie Records and we were done. Of the three, only Jamiesons is still in operation, although their core business model has evolved to focus on home theater.

PS: If the Magi had only risen a few hours earlier and braved the post thanksgiving day crush of humanity in the village marketplace, they could have saved big on the gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Jerks.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

For a boatload of photos and the complete details of the King's T-Town visit, stop by the website of Elvis's right hand man and the undisputed master of the Gibson Super 400, Scotty Moore. For some reason, Moore has retained encyclopedic-like knowledge of the Toledo Sports Arena, and sets the record straight on the fisticuffs big E got into in the lobby of the Commodore Perry Hotel after the show. Here's a hint: Colonel Parker rigged it.

Monday, August 20, 2012

When Barry O and the gang decided to kick start their summer campaign here in mild-mannered Maumee, Ohio, who do you think think the first call went out to? That's right, 'ol toke! and the gang here at the PDGB World Headquarters and Maumee Minibike Hall of Fame. It's no secret that it takes an army of wise deckhands to keep a political juggernaut on course, and when it came time to align Team Obama with respected and influential Rust Belt bon vivants, the crew had but one choice: Pizza Don't Go Bad.

Just a few days before the new, new-dealers heartland swing was scheduled to commence, telephones rang, emails were sent, faxes were, uhh...faxed, and a detail of Secret Service agents swept the area. When the dust settled, the truth became clear: Team Obama was only using toke! to get close to his Mama.

Few people or organizations carry as much clout in the Maumee/Perrysburg region as PDGB, but if anyone is qualified to play host to and have a personal audience with our nations leader, it's toke!'s mom.

Plus we got these awesome official Presidential M&M and Whitman Sampler snack packs.

Friday, July 27, 2012

We're admittedly late to the party on this, but another aspiring auteur with ties to Toledo has taken to Kickstarter in search of funds to complete his project. Helmed by Former Toledo resident and Ottawa Hills class of 1985 alum Tony Pemberton, Are We Not Men? The Devo Documentary, is a fully authorized in depth look at one of the most provocative bands of all time. Check it:

"Although the band has been notoriously secretive for nearly 4 decades, they have granted us unprecedented full-access to their personal inner-workings and daily lives while on the road, backstage, and at home. The film is now in post-production, and we need your help to meet our goal for Sundance and other festivals."

Fun fact: Tony attended an Adam Ant concert with tokes! wife back in the 80's. If that doesn't vouch for his cred, what then?

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Just as the highly anticipated Grande Ballroom doc "Louder Than Love" has (finally!) started appearing on the film festival circuit, the makers of an equally exciting and long-brewing Motor City-centric project have turned to kickstarter in search of funds to turn their vision into reality. Picking up where the the Grande, Cinderella, Eastown, and other legendary Detroit concert venues left off, Cobo Hall not only supplied the ambiance for live albums from Kiss, Bob Seger, Hank Williams Jr., and more, but also provided the stage for Martin Luther King to recite his "I Had a Dream" speech months before the Washington D.C. version. But that barely scratches the surface of the Cobo story. For complete details, check out the official website here: The Legendary Cobo

Faces, Cobo Hall, September 6, 1976

"We used to make Cobo Hall feel intimate. It has a really good sound in there. That was the epitome of our playing in Detroit; it never got better than that. There was just something magic about that place." IAN MCLAGAN

Sunday, May 20, 2012

"It's a bogue sitch," says 'Harry' Harrison, a Golden Retriever from Toledo, Ohio. "Van Halen concerts are one of the few places left where a guy can get his bandanna on without drawing criticism from the fashion Nazis. Their music just screams, 'Hey you, it's David Lee and the boys from Van Halen; why don't you put on a bandanna?'

I mean Back in the day, dogs wearing bandannas were the shit! You couldn't swing the partially regurgitated entrails of a small rodent without hitting one of us.

I remember this one time, ol' toke! and I wore a pair of matching bandannas that were decorated with a bunch of fake paint drips and splotches...man, shit got off the hook that night, let me tell you that much right now; my kicker spot ain't been the same since. Then there was the time at this sweet BBQ just flush with the bitches, where I was wearing a red one around my neck while carrying a frisbee in my mouth and...continued

Monday, January 16, 2012

Random photo snapped at the 2013 North
American International Auto Show(NAIAS)in
Detroit Last Week.

So wait, when did Bibendum get so svelte? This photo is evidence that the following conversion actually took place in an office somewhere:

"Uh, yeah. I've been meaning to bring this up. You know Bibendum? Our century-old, illustrated pneumatic cartoon mascot-The one that's supposed to represent big round inner-tubes? I think he's too fat-it's just not in tune with the message that we want to send. I mean who wants to be represented by a fat person?"

Well Mr. corporate executive, I can think of numerous successful entities currently subscribing to the "girth gives birth to mirth" ethic. Here's one you might've heard of, right off the top of my head: Christmas. Not to mention Bob's Big Boy, FAT Wreck Chords and maybe last but never least, Fat Tony's out on the Vineyard.

The old adage remains true: "Never trust a skinny butcher, barber or tire salesman." The lone exception of course, if said butcher, barber or tire salesman's name is always prefaced with the word "skinny." As in, "c'mon kids, we're all going over to skinny Dave's for haircuts. Then I'm gonna' get a new set of Michelins from skinny Bob at the tire store." Bonus points if the individual is in fact, obese. But I digress.

I expect this kind of shortsighted nonsense from American companies as they flail desperately at ideas while they fight their way to the bottom. But from the French -the world's premier practitioners of the butter and cigarettes lifestyle- this type of deranged lunacy is inexcusable.