Friday, 24 March 2017

As you’re reading this I am hardcore dieting so I’m
not buying clothes (because you know hopefully soon my clothes won’t fit me) so
instead I went makeup shopping and now I’m filing for bankruptcy but at least
my makeup will be on point.

I went into the Boots in Chichester
while I was up that way with my boyfriend visiting his family and well, it is
the best Boots I have ever been in. It had every single brand including a massive
NYX Cosmetics counter. It’s fair to say it left quite the hole in my purse.

I often get a little carried away with reading reviews on
products I've never tried before and as I’m such a huge beauty and
cosmetic enthusiast, I do like to give most things a go. A lot of the things in
this little splurge I’ve never used before but have heard good things
about and I felt that they would make great additives to mymakeup collection.

The only thing that wasn’t from
Boots was the facemask in the style of a milk cartoon which I found in a little
nick nack shop.

If there is anything here you
would like to see a review on let me know in the comments and I’ll make sure I
do it!

Wednesday, 22 March 2017

Fabulous examples of porn sites that can teach you how to sexually perform, how to overcome the fear that you’re missing out on picking the right partner, encouraging people to talk openly about sex, and how to choose between two people that you really like – things got serious in this month’s sex and relationship questions and answers.

As you may know, if you’re a top dog reader of mine, or if you’re new to VavaViolet (hello there!) once a month I pick the most interesting sex and relationship questions I get sent and I answer them here, on the blog. All other questions used to get answered on my Curious Cat page which you could scroll through and read as some of them I must admit will have you spitting out your coffee whilst mid laughter or sob at how sad some of them truly are. BUT, Curious Cat was quite frankly shit and the site was always down so you can now find me on Ask FM (click here to go to my profile). On Ask FM you can choose to be anonymous or not so all of the questions below were sent in anonymously. You can also send in your own questions or dilemmas for FREE and I will answer every single one. So if you need some girl advice then girl, I got ya!

The questions

How do I overcome the fear that because I'm young if I pick a partner and am loyal to them I could be missing out on different experiences/dating somebody better?

It’s a little hard to give advice on this without knowing your current relationship status so I will give you my opinion/advice on both.

If you’re single – then don’t panic. You’re not dating anyone right now so you don’t have a big decision to make. What I would do is write down everything I want in a ‘dream partner’. Now, this will be very hard to find but at least it gives you an idea of what you’re after so you don’t waste time with somebody who ticks hardly any of those boxes. If you’re using dating sites such as Tinder and Plenty of Fish make it clear on your profile what you’re looking for in a partner. For example, if you want to date a non-smoker put that in your bio, there is no point wasting their time and yours. It’s okay to be picky after all you have to put up with this person. If you truly think you can find somebody ‘better’ and more suited for you then keep looking. Like you said you’re young so there is no rush.

If you’re taken already – If you’re already in a relationship then that is a completely different story. If you even have that fear then they’re not right for you. I have been exactly in those shoes where I have been in a relationship and I just knew they weren’t right for me and I could be suited to someone else much better. So I ended those relationships and learned that you have to really get to know somebody before you get into a relationship with them. With my current boyfriend, we spent awhile getting to know each other before we said we were together. I wanted to make sure I loved him before I devoted my loyalty and time to him. I also wanted to make sure we would get along, had a lot in common and could spend more than a couple of days together. Now I don't even think about wanting or being with anyone else, it doesn't even cross my mind to go out and be my old slaggy self (no slut shame here, do your thing, ladies). So if you are having this fear in your relationship then they are just not the person for you I'm afraid. Take my advice from if you were single and make sure you’re picky and know what you want before you date again so that you don’t waste your time or theirs.

Also, it is fine to be single. If you want to have fun and have ‘experiences’ then you do just that. But make sure you’re safe and protected *cough* condom *cough* take contraception *cough*.

Are there any porn sites out there that could teach me about sex and how to do it? Are they all just fantasies and step dads fucking?

I did laugh at the last bit of your question and sadly the majority of porn sites are filled to the brim with vulgar porn and videos that most (well hopefully most people) would find disturbing such as incest porn and involving animals, which is beyond disgusting and cruel. However, there are porn/erotica sites out there that do have morals and create and produce videos that are tasteful and resemble real life sex. FrolicMe.com is my favourite. The videos are so tasteful and are not vulgar at all. It resembles what sex is actually like compared to your mainstream porn. Of course, you still get your threesome videos etc which aren't 'traditional' sex and are a fantasy but nether the less if you want to learn how to give head I'd check that site out.

I love how you encourage people to talk openly about sex and their kinks, just everything to do with sex. My friends hate how open I am, how can I encourage them to be open about it?

First off, thank you so much! I'm afraid you can't change how your friends are. It is perfectly fine that they're not open and don't want to talk about sex you can't force them to. I take it they have told you they hate how open you are? If this is the case then maybe they are just not the right friends for you. I know this isn't what you want to hear but you either love them anyway or move on and make new friends.

How do I choose between two people I really like? I know it’s bad but currently, I’m dating two people at the same time. Help?

It's bad... but I've been exactly in your shoes ha. I dated both for a good couple of months until I realised who I wanted to be with. I was 16 and I have learned a hell of a lot since then. you're going to hurt both of them or at least one so be prepared to deal with that, it never ever ends well. Write a pro and con list for both of them, who do you have more in common with? Who you closer to? Who do you feel more comfortable around? I'm afraid only you can answer those questions and make a decision. But I always find a good list helps!

If you have any advice for the ladies that sent in these questions please do leave them down below!

Monday, 20 March 2017

A coffee table is not complete until a pile of coffee table books are placed neatly on it, along with some cutesy coasters and a glass of wine (okay the wine wasn’t needed but I’m in my twenties and my life isn’t perfect so an alcoholic beverage can frequently be found sitting there).

I adore ‘coffee table books’ by this phase I’m sure you all know what I mean – a book or books placed on a coffee table that are easy to read and feature mainly pictures. The purpose of placing books somewhere where you place your wine and snacks is so that your guests or yourself have something to pick up and flick through/or read.

I like coffee table books that look pretty displayed but are also interesting to read. If you can decorate your room with pretty things that can also serve another function why wouldn’t you? There is nothing cosier than reading while curled up on the sofa.

Here are my five favourite books to display and read:

‘Face’ By Pixiwoo

I have been a fan of the Pixiwoo sisters for about five years now so when they released a book I threw it into my basket in Waterstones when it was on offer for £10. If you don’t know who they are they’re YouTubers who focus on giving helpful makeup tutorials.

Face is one of my favourite coffee table books because it is so beautifully illustrated and uses photos from their tutorials which are just so eye-catching. The book also includes advice, techniques and top tips for your skin, brows, eyes, lashes and lips.

It’s one of those books that every woman (or man) who sits on your coach will want to pick up and flick through. It’s an easy read and is fabulous for any absolute beginner, aspiring make-up artist or anyone simply looking to try out something new, who happens to be sat on your sofa.

Also (and ladies we all know this is mega important) it is great for creating flat-lays and using for photography purposes.

‘Whose Life Is It Anyway? Living Life on Your Own Terms’ By Dr LindaPapadopoulos

As a 20-year old, whose life is seriously stressful and the majority of my time is spent sitting on a toilet with the seat down while I breathe in and out because everything in existence stresses me out, this book was perfect for me.

Linda talks about how there is more pressure on 20-year-olds now than ever before. Whether it's the proliferation or the homogeneity of images of beauty and success that wallpaper our world, we know what a beautiful woman looks like and we know what a perfect life looks like too (thanks, Instagram). We live in a world that floods us with expectations about everything - from what we should weigh to what we should wear to how often we should be having sex and how much money we should be making.

The book refers to the consequence of living like this and wanting what everyone else appears to have. It helps you to understand that ‘the perfect life’ does not exist and it soothes the anxiety surrounding wanting it. And it teaches you that right now in your twenties when life should be exciting, fun and relatively care-free.

Although it’s not a typical ‘coffee table book’ with lots of pretty pictures and large fonts it is one that grabs the attention and is an interesting read. So you know, if you have a guest round that you don’t like give them this and they’ll be so distracted they won’t even talk. You’re welcome.

‘How Star Wars Conquered the Universe’ By Chris Taylor

It’s always good to have some kind of movie book on a coffee table, in my opinion. Coffee tables are usually in the entertainment room such as the living room with a TV so it’s nice and fitting. My choice is this one all about Star Wars and how the films were made.

It’s packed to the brim with facts and pictures so it is such a handy one to just pick up and glance at every now and again.

Who doesn’t want to sound cultured and intelligent? And now thanks to my little coffee table book all my guests can join me in discussing which philosopher had the maddest hairstyle, which novelist drank 50 cups of black coffee every day, and what on earth did Simone de Beauvoir see in Jean-Paul Sartre?

I must say, I have learned a shit ton since picking this book up.

‘Men vs Cats’

I picked this up in Urban Outfitters for £8.99 and it is the best damn £8.99 I have ever spent. It is literally a book just full of cute pictures of cats and hot guys. Is there anything better than that? Nope, I didn’t think so.

Let me know in the comments if you plan on reading any of these books or what you thought of them if you have!

Sunday, 19 March 2017

I often take my own nail polish to the salon because I'm a freak and the thought of a brush going over my nails after it's gone over a stranger's dirty nails grosses me out. Just me? thought so.

I have so many nail polishes but there is one I always take with me and it was a mere £2... I can't even buy a coffee out for £2 so you can't argue with that price. The pink pictured above is from the Sinful Colours Kylie Jenner range and it is to die for.

I always avoided buying cheap nail polishes because I just assumed they wouldn't last but let me tell you, if you have acrylic nails then no nail polish no matter how crap it is will chip. I asked my nail technician once why my vanish never ever chips and he said it's because of the texture of the acrylics and the super strong top coat they apply over the vanish. So I can get away with wearing cheap as chips vanish.

Now that I have learned this I am on the hunt for some super cheap nail polish brands that have a good colour selection. Any ideas ladies?

Wednesday, 15 March 2017

I am an extremely busy woman. I work full-time as a news reporter for a local paper, I'm finishing my journalism diploma, I edit, write and sort out everything including finances for vavaviolet, I write freelance pieces for magazines, see friends, family, and my boyfriend but still find the time to stay on top of everything and get shit done.

I'm not one to brag, but my work ethic has always been very high and I have always enjoyed working. So much so that it can take over my life a little too much. But I am proud of that and I am very appreciative of how productive I am. However, finding a balance (so cliche) is majorly important. I only realised that after I lost friends and people close to me because I was investing all my time into work.

So, about a year ago I took a step back. I took a break from blogging and freelance work and spent more time with my friends and family while I figured out how I was going to fit everything in (while of course still working my full time job). I'm immensely stubborn so quitting something just wasn't an option for me. And I found the most impeccable way for me to carry on doing everything I love while also managing to fit it all into my schedule - so I thought I would share it with you guys in case any of you are in the dilemma that I was.

This isn't a preachy 'do this and you'll be so organised and have the best blog ever' it is simply how I run things in my life which work for me. It may work for you, it may not, but I hope it inspires one person at least to get motivated.

Realising what needs to change

I realised paper and pen was not for me. Controversial or what? But yes, writing everything down in hand in a diary and carrying it around in my bag just didn't work for me. I'm a perfectionist so crossing something out if something changed did my absolute head in and I just couldn't cope with how messy it ended up looking. Also carrying around a chunky notebook with planning pages in it for my blog, a calendar, plain pages for blog notes and more was just too heavy and took up too much space in my bag.

Because I hated writing it down so much I ended up not planning at all and therefore I started to become unproductive and unmotivated. So I treated myself to the iPad Pro. Which although was a hefty £900 it has been worth every single damn penny. You can attach a keyboard to it so it is basically a laptop as well as an iPad. Bare in mind, you can use your phone for exactly what I'm going to show you - so don't panic at that price tag you can get these softwares on your phone for free.

My bible

My iPad and iPhone now literally control my life - to a degree. I do all of my planning on them, for blog posts, my full time job and freelance work. My calendar is on them, finances, and so much more as well. But the beauty is I always have one, if not both, on me at all times so I can be productive and get shit done whenever I like.

How I organise my blog posts

My most used app is the 'Numbers' one (pictured above)

I use the Numbers app for three key things that keep my life organised and allow me to keep up with my hefty schedule and they are, for doing my finances, planning blog posts and for literally creating my schedule. On the app there are loads of templates for you to choose from including meal planners and invoice templates (great for bloggers or freelance journalists).

The print screen above is how I plan my blog posts and to do this I just simply create a grid, which is so easy to do on the app. I post on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays, so it is important to me that I have a post ready to go for these days. To make sure I never forget a day I put the date the post is going to be published on in the first column.

The second column is for what category the blog post is. I do this so I can visually see how many sex and relationships, beauty, etc posts are going up during the month - it is also handy to make sure that I don't put up three fashion posts in a row and that way I can keep up a good mix on my blog. I know not all blogs have categories so you don't have to do that column or any columns you don't want to use but for me it just helps me visualise.

In the third column I put the blog posts title - I have an exceptional memory so I don't bother writing a brief on what the post is but you could add an extra column called 'brief' and write a short brief on what the blog post is in there or notes such as 'buy photo props' or note down your monthly favourites in that section. But for me I just simply write the title of the post.

We all love emojis don't we? The fourth column (as you can see in the picture) is where I use emojis to symbolise what has been done. They are just so quick and easy to use and save a lot of time rather than writing out 'photos done'. I use the pen emoji to symbolise that I have written the post, the camera symbolises that I have assigned or taken pictures for that blog post and then I use the other two rarely. The beauty of this is that you can make up whatever key you wish. I can open the app up and in a blink of an eye see what I have to do, it just shows you so clearly what you need to write and what photos you need to take. I literally have never forgotten to do anything since I have used my little grid method.

The fifth, sixth and seventh columns are all just tick box options. The fifth column I tick once I have finished working on the blog post and it is ready to be published - only at this point do I tick that box. I know if the box hasn't been ticked that it still needs working on. Then I tick the box in the sixth column once the post is actually live on the blog and I tick the box in the seventh column when I have shared the post on social media. This way I can keep a track on every single step and I can view it all in one place and make changes when ever I need to.

Scheduling my life

Like most people who don't blog full time to pay the bills I have a lot of other responsibilities that I need to make sure I stay on top of. It is so easy to just spend all my time blogging because I love it so much but I need to make sure that priorities come first. I use the schedule option on the Numbers app to plan my week (like the schedule above). Every Sunday evening I fill this in and I am pretty good at keeping to it. I'm not wasting paper by having to use 52 sheets every single year and if I need to change anything I can do it without crossing out bits and bobs.

I also use my calendar on my devices as my only calender. I can view my calender where ever I am this way and add things in rapidly.

Writing blog posts where ever I am

My secret to being able to keep up with my blog is that I can write blog posts where ever I am and at any time. I use the app Pages on my phone and iPad which is basically Word. I write them on the bus, at the bus stop, lunch breaks, while on the tube/train, anywhere! I get so much done all of the time.

Will you use any of these techniques? How do you stay organised? The organised freak in me would love to know!

Sunday, 12 March 2017

When I was little I hated buying shoes. I had one pair throughout secondary school and those were my all black Vans that I wore for school and at weekends. Of course, every time they started to break I bought a new pair (that were exactly the same) but I never had an interest in shoes.

Nowadays, however, I could never have enough of them. They are now my favourite fashion piece to buy and I would choose a cute pair of shoes over a bag any day.

Chunky monkey shoes as I call them are my favourites. I love nothing more than some chunky high heeled boots paired with some skinnies or a t-shirt dress. They suit me perfectly, the chunkiness meets my tomboy needs and the high heel makes me feel like I'm in Scream Queens (when does that air again? I can't wait any longer).

Last week I was strolling through my local shopping centre as it is right next to my office and the large red 'shoe sale' sign in the Newlook window was just calling my name. Now, I hate sales, can't stand them but when it's for shoes it is a whole different story!

I picked up these snake print boots for £9 reduced from £27.99, the black pair with the gold detailing and the laces for £12 reduced from £34.99 and the plain black pair of boots for £10 down from £21.99. Not bad ay? They were all in the sale because they're classed as 'winter boots' but for someone like me who wears boots all year round no matter the weather it was heavenly.

Recently my Nan kindly gifted me these bad boy star print boots from Public Desire and oh my, they are a bitch to walk in. I wear them anyways but don't be mistaken, I am in a great deal of pain when I have these on my little feet. They're quite heavy as well but I love them nether the less.

She also kindly got me them in the all black version as well and I just walk through the pain. I'm getting good at hiding the fact I'm dying from my facial expressions, to be honest.

I haven't done a haul in such a long time but if you guys would like to see more then let me know because I'm always adding something new to my wardrobe, beauty draws or to my geeky bookshelf. Leave me a comment down below, I'd love to know which shoes I got are your faves!

Friday, 10 March 2017

I used to throw men away like I throw underwear away, I did it weekly. I've realised what I want and now I will never settle for anything less and you shouldn't either.

I changed how I did dating and if I was on a date and I didn't enjoy myself, felt no spark or wasn't attracted to them I would ghost or politely say 'sorry I'm not after anything serious'. That famous line is a lie, if someone ever says it to you they are lying. You just weren't good enough to make them want something serious. I didn't want anything serious at all but when I met my boyfriend I knew I wanted to be with him. If they actually blow your mind then you will want something serious with them - you see what I mean, it takes a certain someone to make your mind switch and want to be serious.

But how do you know when it goes past lust and starts turning into wanting to be serious with them/falling in love? Well...

Get outta my mind

You simply can not get them out of your mind. You think about them more often than you'd like to admit, everything reminds you of them and if you're still thinking about them months after missing your chance then you made a big mistake.

Your jaw aches

And no I don't mean in a sexual way - although if they're that good that your jaw aches then marry them right now. They make you laugh all the time, they brighten up your day, or they're the only light in your day. Being in their company just makes you feel comfortable and you always look forward to seeing them.

The truth comes out

You start opening up to them and telling them your deepest darkest secrets. You trust them enough to spill the beans, they become your best friend and they can't judge you for that time you couldn't turn on a calculator in a maths exam and therefore failed.

Home sweet home

They feel like home. You can just fall into their arms after a long day at work and you just feel a comfort like nothing else.

Cheating

Your commitment issues fly away. You no longer picture fucking the hot bartender as he pours your cocktail, or shagging your doctor or your boyfriend's friends. The idea just goes out of your mind and your slaggy ways vanish.

I want to hear your stories, how did you fall in love and when did you realise you were in love? Comment below ladies or email me at vavaviolett@outlook.com