Friday, September 26, 2008

Sen. McCain, far left, prays that President Bush, or anyone else for that matter calls on him to repsond to any questions regarding the economic crisis and/or how to fix it: "Please, please, please, God ... don't let them call on me. I sware I will never approve another lie or half-truth in an ad against my opponent, Sen. Obama, again."

Enquiring minds:

A. Could care less

B. Are preoccupied with more pressing issues such as global warming and. or whether or not Lindsay Lohan is really a lesbian

C. Are still trying to figure out why McCain picked Palin

D. Have subleased their bodies to America and moved their minds to Canada

But the Campaign to Nowhere, although suspended*, is playing up the dramatic, made-for-television pilot show that is destined to be canceled by the Producers Nov. 4.

*In an attempt to hold Congress hostage by threatening to cancel his appearance at the debate (“Ooooooooooooooooooo…”), McCain suspended his Campaign to Nowhere to return to D.C. and help fix the sound economy. Although suspended, McCain is still allowed to make appearances on shows that will loft soft-ball questions, but any media outlets that ask questions that merit responses to complex issues (e.g. “Late Night with David Letterman”) will be off limits.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

On the night of this year’s Democratic Primary in Indiana, I officially boycotted watching mainstream punditry after CNN’s absurd lambasting of the mayor of Gary, Indiana. I thought punditry had bottomed out, but my sources who still watch the Talking Heads tell me the MSM is still scraping the bottom, hoping to discover a juicy geyser of minutia to fill up its around-the-clock coverage.

Question: What is longer than this year’s presidential election?

Answer: Coverage of this year’s presidential election

Other Possible Answers: Number of days it took politicians to figure out something was amiss on Wall Street or Donald Rumsfeld has been in the former Bush Employee Relocation Program

Fortunately there is still one mainstream political pundit out there who is still committed to quality, fair-and-balanced coverage and reporting: Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.

If you didn’t get a chance to catch his coverage of the Republican National Convention, check out the trilogy here and here and here.

While in the twin Cities, Triumph managed to scoop up sloppy seconds, collaring an exclusive interview with presidential candidate Ralph Nader.

Why Nader agreed to the interview, other than a desperate need for media attention, is beyond me.

Worse, Nader genuinely thought it would be able to outwit an insulting comic dog. There’s a reason the Political Campaign Constitution calls for a “separation between politicians and comedians.”