Life in the UK for those of us who are convinced Brexit is up there with cheesecloth shirts and thousand island dressing as the worst things to come out of these shores, are trying to remain sanguine, since that’s about the only thing we can ‘remain’ now. Thus, in my process of rewriting the Nations favourite poems, I have reached Robert Browning’s ‘Home Thoughts, From Abroad’ (this was number 42, as voted by the British public and right now, might as well represent the meaning of Life, The Universe and Everything). This, I dedicate to all those who consider Brexit to be a reason to cool your beers in a bidet and over-boil your pasta. Enjoy….

Oh to be in England

Rather than ‘abroad’

To say travel broadens the mind

Is really quite absurd.

It’s dusty here, and full of smells

Against which the most robust rebels

And, God, the din the locals make

And don’t get me on what they boil and bake.

I’ll gift a kidney if you’ll just allow

Me back to England, Now!

The birds they have hereabouts

Have beady eyes and beaks of steel

And I really must confess my doubts

Surely these beasts cannot be real?

Back home in dear old Blighty

Our fluff balls are cute and flighty

And fill my soul with careless rapture.

Causing hearts to sing and not to rupture.

I’ve got my ticket, I’m on my way

Back to England’s green gold shores

I’m done with ‘foreign’, outlasted my stay

Take me home, to rain, moaning pub bores

To potholed roads and warm flat beer

Just promise me please: get me outta here!

This also fits neatly with Esther’s latest challenge, on the subject of Travel, here. Feel free to join in

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About TanGental

My name is Geoff Le Pard. Once I was a lawyer; now I am a writer. I've published four books - Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle, My Father and Other Liars, Salisbury Square and Buster & Moo. In addition I have published three anthologies of short stories and a memoir of my mother. More will appear soon. I will try and continue to blog regularly at geofflepard.com about whatever takes my fancy. I hope it does yours too.
These are my thoughts and no one else is to blame. If you want to nab anything I post, please acknowledge where it came from.

Nearly every time you do,this I realize that I had to memorize the original. I had no idea how many poems I had to learn to recite. I actually used to challenge myself to have it memorized by the time it got around the class to my turn. Very short, I was in the front and they started in the back.