Rank behaviour

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Who, like me, has ever tried to hail a taxi at 2.55pm in Sydney?
There's no shortage of them. It's just that the 3pm changeover
brings out a particular kind of behaviour among taxi drivers.

At 2.30pm, or earlier, drivers will take you from Sydney to
Penrith, if that's your destination. Any later and you're on your
own. The other day I hailed a cab at 2.55pm while it was cruising
along Darlinghurst Road, Kings Cross. I knew I was in for trouble
when, instead of stopping near me and waiting for me to hop in, the
driver stopped a few metres away, leaned across the passenger seat
and asked where I was going. When I said "Rose Bay" he backed off
as if I had the plague and told me he was "changing over" and that
he had to go to Alexandria right then and there. Never mind that
Rose Bay is closer to the city than Alexandria and, allowing for a
slight southern digression, almost on the way.

The 3pm changeover is the bane of my life. It gives rise to the
phenomenon of the convergence of taxis. The convergence would
easily put a bikers meet to shame. City streets sprout ant trails
of cabs as if by immaculate conception. Taxis making their way to
the place where cabs go to take part in the changeover appear out
of nowhere. Cabs that usually yo-yo across city streets competing
for fares are transformed into an orderly procession bound for a
common destination.

Drivers are now in another world, preparing themselves for the
changeover. All attention is fixed on the road ahead rather than on
footpaths, or stopping at No Stopping signs, or running through
pedestrian crossings when pedestrians are crossing. It's a
veritable cavalcade of vacant cabs, the likes of which are not seen
but at this time of day.

Schmucks like me who, by now, ought to know better are seen
frantically trying to wave down a cabbie but to no avail. Cab
drivers seem under a spell at this time. Talking to them is like
having a conversation with a robot programmed to say the one thing:
"Sorry, mate. Changeover."

I surmise it's a daily pilgrimage to a holy site of particular
relevance and reverence for taxis and their drivers. I'm sure the
need to prioritise the changeover is hard-wired into drivers when
they go for their licence.

Frankly, my dears, I no longer give a damn. If a cab stops
anywhere near me during the convergence, from here on I'm not
letting the driver, tortured expression notwithstanding, lean over
only to reject me. I'm opening the door and hopping straight in.
Convergence and changeover can go to hell. So, if you are rejected
by a cabbie take down the number. If he comes begging for a fare
later remind him of how he rejected you and show him the finger.
Let's see taxis at their ranks 24 hours a day and not engaging in
rank behaviour.

Readers are invited to apply wit to anything that makes
the blood boil. Send 600 words, with day and evening phone numbers,
toheckler@smh.com.au.
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