Domino's Tests The Limits Of What Humans Will Eat

By JaySlatkinJuly 24, 2008

Most people don’t realize that scientists at Domino’s are working overtime to discover the absolute limit of what humans will consume. “The Domino’s scientists now believe a certain percentage of human beings may have a genetic predisposition to eat unhealthy foods made from other even unhealthier foods.” See the Onion video, inside…

Reminds me of the SNL faux-commercial satirizing Taco Bell. It was for a concoction consisting of a taco, wrapped in another tortilla, wrapped in a pizza, wrapped in buttermilk pancakes, ad infinitum. Hilarious.

I used to work for a pizza parlor that had an all you can eat buffet. The owner was never there and it was run by college students. Needless to say, we used to conduct similar experiments and the people wouldn’t hesitate to scarf it down. Salami and sardine pizza anyone?

@timmus: I’ve heard about this from a friend of mine who lives in the UK. It sounds both delicious and terrifying.

IIRC, in Japan Pizza Hut has a Stuffed Crust pizza w/ saussage in the crust as well as cheese. In North America, we just have the cheese.

Amusing fact!: Reggie Fils-aime, president of Nintendo of America, actually invented the Bigfoot Pizza and the Big New Yorker while he was the Senior Director of National Marketing for Pizza Hut. I think he did the Stuffed Crust, too, but I’m not sure.

The best satire is one that is indistinguishable from that it is satiring. Also, who cares. It’s the onion, and a good idea (Unlike those communist pizza feed bags). What, is the onion not allow to have a good idea?

Last weekend I had a Frito Pie Pizza at the Alamo Draft House. It is created by topping a pizza crust with chili, onions, jalepenos, sliced hotdogs, 2 kinds of cheeses, and crushed fritos. Then baked until golden delicious.

I had a discussion today about national health care I came to the conclusion that the reason other countries are so “healthy” and their health care systems work so well is that they are healthier than us And what I mean by that is they eat a pretty good diet, which cuts their obesity rate, which makes them healthier on a whole. Even though it’s satire, it’s pretty much true.

@krunk4ever: Well, not to invoke the “E” word… When humanity had to hunt and forage to survive, over-consumption was rarely a danger. The more real danger was not eating enough fat or protein to survive. We find those foods appealing because our bodies were starved of it for millennia before supermarkets and KFC came about. Our bodies want to consume as much as possible because historically it’s been so rare.

@Spookyooky: Or just make it yourself if you don’t have a good non-chain place locally.
SW Fla has our share of good and baaaad pizza places.
One place keeps changing their name instead of their recipe.
In related news:[www.theonion.com] <– Best. Onion. Video. EVER.

@krunk4ever: Well, the main reason we crave unhealthy foods has its roots in history. Our ancestors had a tough time finding fats, sugars, and carbohydrates. As a result, our bodies crave those types of foods. Even though we live in a society where there’s junk food everywhere you look, we still can’t get enough of it, because our bodies are programmed to seek that kind of food out and devour it, to store fat for the lean times.

Aw man, my company used to rent space at the office buildings known as Domino’s Farms. They had all sorts of crazy “pizza” available, including seasonal ones like the Thanksgiving Pizza. Do I need to describe it?

Yes. Yes I do.

Gravy instead of pizza sauce. Topped with cheese, mashed potatoes, stuffing, turkey AND a dollop of cranberry sauce in the middle.

One time in college, a small Domino’s pizza got shoved under the couch and forgotten for almost two weeks. When I found it, I opened it expecting the worst and surprisingly, it didn’t looke any worse than if it had been left out overnight. I heated it up in the oven and it tasted the same, didn’t get sick neither. Maybe it’s made out of twinkies.