First, I have not been online much. A large part of that is because I have no internet at home (save checking emails on my phone with 4g). Why do I not have internet? I moved into a house in the middle of no where and no Internet Service Providers want to expand out that way to take my money. My only option is to get a land line phone and get dial up. I'm not wasting $40-50 a month on dial up. So I am just going to be without internet for the foreseeable future.

Not that it matters, I haven't been arting much lately. Mostly busy with crafts for Christmas and so on. I will try to draw again someday but for now I just can't find the time.

I have been painting, though. That's fun. Little tiny paintings. I'll try to photograph them and post sometime. And I do want to start a blog that showcases my crafts. I do cross stitching and so on. I figured that could be fun to share.

Anyways, I'm at work writing this and I am ready to go home, so peace out my fellow artists/art appreciators!

Ignore my last journal, I don't give up. Well, I am going to take a long hiatus from drawing and posting on here, I really need some time to learn to love my art again...

But I do need some quick, super quick help from my friends. Please go onto Facebook, go to this link: www.facebook.com/media/set/?se… and please vote on my Shadow Lord pic (fifth entry, skull smoke, says "Shadow Lord" on drawing). If I get more likes, they will adapt my creation and PUT IT IN THE GAME! This is absolutely a huge deal for me! I want this so badly. And I am currently in second place and I need to get some more votes! I'd really appreciate it.

UPDATE : Ok, I wrote this late at night when I was tired and cranky and frankly extremely stressed out. My new job is great but adjusting to it isn't easy. My living arrangement is "bleh", and also stifles my creativity. I've also been working on a secret art project that honestly started fun (like always) and has slowly crushed my soul (like always). I have rage quit that project (like always).

I have since decided to take a hiatus from pursuing art in any form other than the doodles I do when bored (or for birthday cards, etc). I don't plan to post any art on here or any other site for the next few months. I might come on here to look at art and try to reply to comments.

I have to learn how to love creating art again. I will probably give up on art as any sort of income (including cons, since they are more stress than fun for me now). I was thinking of doing an etsy shop but I don't know if I can handle that stress or the potential disappointment when I sell poorly (and I will sell poorly; not being pessimistic I just historically have not been able to sell my art well). I have to not care about favs but that's easier said than done. I still want a Daily Deviation... sorry, but I do. I'm almost at the point of trying to nominate myself to the judges. But I also am fully aware I mostly only create quick, easy art and really never make detailed art worthy of a DD. So maybe that can come later someday down the road.

Why do I care about favs and stuff? Honestly, I need the validation, I really do. I have an extremely low self esteem and extremely high level of self hatred (not alone, I know many people are in the same boat as me). When I draw something I'm happy with and I get 2 favs, I start to think "I knew my art was crap!" My goal is to work on my self worth issues, work on liking myself and worrying less if other people do too. Maybe that will spill over into my art and I can just be happy with my art even if it gets no views and no favs.

Anyways. Um, see y'all around? Come back in a few months and hopefully I'll have made some progress on loving art enough to draw AND post without fear of failure? Hopefully...

THE ORIGINAL RAGEQUIT "I HATE MY ART" JOURNAL:

I feel like this day has been coming for a long time now. The day I will finally just throw my hands up and quit the art world. And before you ask, no, this isn't me whining so I can get people to tell me not too. I feel like I need to talk about this with someone and my fellow artists on DA seem like a good place to go.

And no, it's not me quitting because I think I'm better than the art world. In fact, it's quite the opposite. I feel like the art world is too big for me. I feel lost, frustrated, and pointless. I guess a part of me is also writing this because I feel like if I stopped posting art and selling art at conventions most of my fan base wouldn't even notice. But most of all, I feel like I get no satisfaction from my art anymore.

I really don't get happiness from my art. I mostly resent it and feel bitter towards whatever I create. I rarely even draw and when I do it's a struggle to produce anything and whatever I finish I critique very harshly. Projects get started and forgotten because I lose interest. Tonight I finally hit a wall and decided to give up on a new project I started on two months ago. I'm rage quitting like I always do. It can join the dozens of scrapped large projects, and the hundreds if not thousands of sketches that never got finished and will never be seen by anyone but me.

I used to draw because I loved it. I was content with art for the sake of art. Sure, I wanted to impress my friends but that's what's great when you are young and are the only artist in your group. Anything you make will be received with awe and amazement even when it's absolute crap. Then I discovered the internet and started posting art. Again, small audience (when your website gets 100 hits a month, at most) which often equals "big appreciation". Then I got a small following on the Superhero Hype fan art forums. I eventually found my way to DeviantART a little over 10 years ago. Finally a place I could share my work with other artists. I wallowed in obscurity for those 10 years. I had some big moments for me but like so many of the artists on here, your 100 favs on a drawing feels like crap when you see people with thousands of favs. There are artists who have more favs on ONE drawing than I have on all 516 of my drawings. And I feel bad complaining because I know there are better artists out there who have even less views/favs than me. Or when I sell art at conventions and I walk away with a fraction of what a lot of artists make. I've had many years I try to even give away art for dirt cheap (25-50 cents) or even free just to clear out some stock. I have people come up look at it and go "meh". I know my style isn't for everyone but when I can't even give it away? Just kill me already.

I know I shouldn't care about favs or the money. I know I should care about the art and the pursuit of improving my art. Hell, I'll admit it, I get jealous of my friends who have more recognition. I get jealous of 15 year olds who draw better than me and I'm in my 30's. I'm insecure like that. But there comes a point in my life I don't feel like my art is improving, I don't like my art, and the majority of people who see my art just go "whatever". So why bother? Yeah, I shouldn't care about the fame and fortune. But I do. I’m sorry if I really wanted to get a stupid Daily Deviation by now. I just kind of felt like getting one might somehow validate my existence as an artist.

And what’s worse, I’ve spent so much of the past decade progressively caring more and more about making art that will get me recognition or sell well that I don’t even really draw what I want to half the time. And when I do finally draw something I’m happy with, I post it or print it and NO ONE CARES! It’ll get two favs or I can’t sell it and have to eventually just give away the prints at some con two years later. I created that Dalek cutout for the last animazement. I was so happy with it, like, really happy with it. And how much did it sell in the auction? Eleven lousy dollars. The asshat who won it even put in his low bid and lurked over it the rest of the night to make sure no one outbid him! Thanks jackass! You got a spiffy Dalek and my soul got crushed a little more.

It's not even like it matters. I never post art anymore. I so rarely even drawn. Honestly, I've drawn and posted 18 drawings this year. That's not even 3 a month.

So, I'm going to start posting some old art from my old gallery that I still like (rare for me). I suppose I'll leave it posted in the old gallery, or should I delete it so it's not posted on DA twice? Hmmmm.

Anyways, for those few of you who have followed me for years, sorry. But I figured a lot of my new watchers have never seen some of my old stuff, so yay.

So, as I had previously feared, I grew weary of "Got Bob" as my name. I mean, I'm referencing an old milk ad campaign, that is not yet old enough to make it a classic reference. But I had no interest in making yet another account. Lo and behold, DA finally gave us the option.

Now, I'm still pissed you can't take names from inactive or deactivated accounts. C'mon! So many cool names I looked at were taken, but unused.

Let's see if "Art of Bob" will keep me happy, or if I'll be changing it again in six months.

Oh, and now I got to make a new design for my website cards to give out at Animazement, which is next week. <monotone>Oh joy. I am so excited, I could jump up and down.</monotone>

From that, I segue into a journal entry telling you what I've been up to, and why my updates are sporadic.

1) I've actually been taking night classes. Some continuing education type stuff. Being laid off last summer led to some big changes in my goals for the future. Basically, this means 9+ hours a week of school, plus all the other hours for homework, projects, studying. I forgot how much I hate that sort of crap. It also takes away from my art times.

2) I've been working graveyard shift at Target, backroom stock. There are reasons for this choice of employment that I won't bore you with. I only bring this up to reveal the main reason my arts are scarce. I'm tired. Like, all the damn time. Exhausted tired. Even when I have free time, the simple concept of drawing seems like this exhausting task, and it often is.

3) Frankly, I'm sort of just burned out by art in general. I have ideas, but most of them suck or require way more time/effort than I can manage. Mostly, I just want to up my personal skills. Try to achieve something fresh with my crap. So far, not much luck there. And, yeah, most are unrealistic art ideas. "Out of my league" of talent, so to speak.

4) I've also been burned out by digital art. So I've diddled with traditional again (Microns and such). It's nice, though I miss my "ctrl+z" type commands.

So, um, the other thing is I'm trying to actually post to my Twitter account. Yes, I have one of those. I don't even remember why I got one, I think I had the plan to post idiot thoughts to create some black hole of Bobish brains. Now, I'm sort of thinking I can do random updates on my life, for those few people who never hear from me and are curious what I'm doing. Or, something.I linked it on my main page here, but you can also find the twitterings here: twitter.com/#!/justabobguyJudge me if you want, I really don't mind.

Oh, and, damn, less than two months to AZ. Maybe I should do something to prepare for that?

That thing I've been doing for 9 years now.That other thing I've been doing for about 9 years now.That thing I started last year.That alphabetical project I started last month.Trying to do that particular social thing people do.That hobby that comes in the mailThat 24 year distractionThat thing on Friday.Those things over there that you love

I do give a shit about:

That thing that starts tomorrow.That thing I do when I can, for however many hours I can get.That guy, that girl, and those schmucks that I seem to like

Lately, clean line art (my "specialty") had become anti-fun. It had become stressful and mentally draining. To the point that art blocks turned into "I never want to do art again" blocks. But, these sketchy brushes allow me to still draw Bobish art, without having to stress over every single effing stroke. You gotta understand, when I draw just one line of just one arm, that line is actually about 4-10 smaller lines. Meticulously drawn to look clean and complete. Often times, my overly perfectionist mind makes me draw each of those mini lines 2-3 times each. Because the first two tries contain minor errors. Perfectionism sucks. It's my curse.

The blobby, sketchy, imperfect lines force me to be... well, not perfect. I've actually been having fun drawing lately. Darth-3PO fav.me/d4dsyj7 may not be my most popular piece ever, and certainly isn't the best work I've ever done. But damn if it wasn't fun working on it. I enjoyed every single moment of it.

Side note : I'm not saying my art is perfect. I know it's not. Just, that I have a tendency to over-think each little stroke I make.

Long story short, I hope you enjoy the sketchy Bob art, because I have hundreds of sketches from the past five years waiting for inks/colors, and the sketchy makes it seem almost possible to achieve that goal. For now, it's fun, so it's here to stay.

Look at it this way, if you're not a huge fan of the sketchy, you can either have sketchy art or very rare updates.

1) Wanted a new journal skin. I've used the same one for a billion years now, and it was time for a change. So, I went looking for one on here, and on the very first page, I find this one! TOTORO! Please go tell ShinyCation she's awesome.

2) My stupid llama art was posted by another deviant. And they are selling prints. I've asked that they remove it and also contacted the mods. As long as it gets removed without incident I'll let it go. But if it doesn't go smoothly, or if he gives me a hard time about it, I will be linking to the artist so that I can have all of you flame him. And I'll report him to all sorts of art theft pages, and so on and so on. I briefly thought it might have been someone I gave permission to post it ELSEWHERE and give credit. I did do that a couple times (people who wanted it on Facebook or something). I certainly never gave permission to post it here, take credit for the art, and try to profit off of me. I hope no one bought that crap, especially since the print would be a crappy jpeg, not the original Photoshop files, which only I have.

3) So, I finished moving into my new home last night. Weeks of insanity, almost over (still gotta unpack and organize). This is a big part of why I haven't been updating art. Soon, I promise, soon there will be updates of all kinds (old art, sketches, new digi art, and something else).

4) Um... I've been playing LEGO Star Wars like crazy lately. I've had it since last Christmas, but my video gaming comes and goes. Well, it's here now, and I'm loving it. It has two of my top loves, Star Wars and LEGO. And, it's just damn fun. Expect some future SW art, since I've got the whole Jedi bug right now

Do you know how I got the "Bob Guy" name? Years and years ago, when I was at a party with some of my college friends, I met a friend of a friend. When I introduced myself, the guy said "oh, so you're that Bob guy I keep hearing about." Thus, was born one of my screen names, ThatBobGuy... which later just became, Bob Guy.

Anyways, back to why I am making this journal. I just wanted to say that I've been quite distracted the past two weeks, so my replies to comments has been, well, dismally slow and pathetic. I am trying to get back to it all, but until then I just want to say, "thanks for all the kind words and for the favorites." I have been trying to really reinvigorate my creativity. Right now I'm still struggling, and I've really been wanting to try some new stuff but just haven't found the right thing yet. So, until then, you get the little 30-50 minute doodles I've been posting. Sorry.

Well, how is everyone else doing?

-Bob Guy

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It's been over for three days, and I'm still exhausted. I walk/jogged/ran up the stairs dozens of times. Most nights I got 6 or less hours of sleep, and even that sleep was crap.

So, I kept it fairly secret, but by now most people know that I was a part of staff this year. This of course came with it's share of headaches. Balcony had terrible traffic on Friday, and questionable traffic on Sat/Sun. (I say questionable because a few artists said it never picked up for them while others said it went well for them, or somewhere in between). Mezzanine also had questionable traffic. Sure, there was lots of people, but from my time spent talking to artists down there, many of them weren't happy with sales. The problem with all of this is trying to accurately compare all the data. Obviously, some artists will always sell better than others, and poor sales could be due to a number of factors, location being only one. Etc etc. I do know I sold poorly, but I also know I was away from my table half the time on Fri/Sat and on Sun I was solely trying to give away the inventory I didn't want to keep. Whatevers. It was chaos all around.

As for general problems, my list:1) Dumbasses throwing a nerf football in the Mezzanine. I wish I had seen it or known, I would have called security to escort them away.2) Sarah was spat on from above, as well as having stuff thrown elsewhere. Never caught the spitter but we got the thrower. Dumbasses.3) To the idiots on the elevator hitting every button and dancing: yelling at you was the highlight of my Sunday.4) To the idiots yelling "Marco" "Polo": I hate you.5) To that one girl who shall remain unnamed: screw you for all the crap I dealt with from you. And, be glad I didn't directly overhear what you said on Saturday, for I would have rained hell upon your life. You took a situation you knew nothing about and made it worse for me. And I loathe you for it.6) To those that are just simply ungrateful for the amount of time, sanity, and patience that goes into what we do: life isn't fair. Get over it.7) To the kid who knocked on our hotel room door at 2:50am: dammit all to hell.8) To the douchebag who stole my Castiel sketchcard: I hope it gives you paper cuts under you fingernails. If you actually paid for it and I just forgot or wasn't there when it happened, then I wish no harm upon your fingers.9) To the douchebags that stole from other artists I talked to: see above statement, the same hell awaits you.10) Oh, and to the douchebags throwing a nerf football in the alley: *sigh* really? Be glad I didn't see it. Your football would have been mine and your ass woulda been booted out

The nice list:1a) To my friends (who I will list below): thank you for all of your help. As chaotic as my weekend was, it would have been worse without y'all.1b) I'm sad I didn't get time to hang out with all of you.1c) Dusty, Leech, Myque and Christina (sorry if I misspelled any of your names), you all rocked hard core. Thanks for all the help.2) To those that do not fall into Number 6 above, and actually appreciates our efforts: thank you.3) To the rest of the staff that do this every year, and who run the con as best they can: thank you as well. 4) To all the cool people I met, be it staff, artist, or con goer: you rock.5) To anyone who found one of my ninja's placed around the con: hope it gave you a smile. I plan to do that again next year.

Finally, the list of cool people I worked with, talked with, or whatever. I will add to this as I think of names, so if you're missing forgive me. (in spirit)Mel, you need a DA so I can link you.Paula and Maria, do you two have DA accounts? I can't remember.Laura Vaughn and her cohort, whose name I can't recall. If either of you happen to see this, shoot me a "hey". You two rocked.Ash, as usual thanks for the help. Rebecca, you're cool. Jacob's cool. Jen and Matt are awesome. BobD rocks hard. Su kicks ass.

Well, there are 55 days until Animazement. For those of you selling art, that's 55 days left to pump out the arts, yo. So get crackin'.

The past few week has been a blur of Animazement, terrible sleep, work, and sickness; culminating in an exhausted and grumpy Bob. This is me complaining.

So, DUH has been very sporadic and slow to update, hasn't it? See above sentence for the reason. Really. It's not dead, it's only on a sorta hiatus. As in, I'll update WHEN I can. This might be once every three weeks for the next two months. I don't know. But I promise you, it's still alive and kicking, only if in my head and my sketch pads.

Also, aiding in the sluggishness of DUH updates is my recent interest in drawing fan arts. Now, I've talked to many artists in my life, and I see a lot of varying views on "what is art". Some artists argue that original art is better than fan art, as it's more pure. Fan artists argue whatever it is they argue, including "there's nothing original left" or "Sailor Moon ROCKS!" Some "elite artists" claim anything cartoony isn't art so no matter what I choose, original or fan art, it doesn't matter. Whatever your stance is on this subject, rock on. My stance? Draw what makes you happiest. For me, that changes with my mood. At times, original work (DUH) is what makes me happy, and I focus on it fully. Other times (now), I really just feel happy drawing characters I know and love from my various fandoms. Or I might just want to draw a unicorn barbarian with an axe (okay, so there are unicorns in this journal afterall).

In the words of VNV Nation: "Just do whatever the hell you want to do, because who gives a damn what your friends think? Why waste your time obeying the opinions of others?"

-Bob Guy

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Hello all, this is a friendly notification that the registration for Animazement's artist alley is now up. A few notes of interest:

It is no longer first come first serve, instead try to make sure your application is as accurate and useful as possible. The applications will be accepted until March 1st, so that gives you 17 some days to fill it out. We no longer have the ballroom, which is sad but just how it is. A portion of those tables will move to a new hallway. The prices have also gone up, to handle demand and rising costs of renting space at the convention center.

Now, go register!

-Bob Guy

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Congratulations to all who participated, keep your eyes open for the "participation prizes". Also, thanks to all 27 individuals who voted on the great artwork. This was a lot of fun for me, and I hope everyone involved also enjoyed it.

Feedback is highly appreciated. Who wants to see more DUH related contests? What sort? More art contests like this? Other contests for those who are less artistically inclined? Ideas for prizes? Suggestions welcome!Let me know!

-Bob Guy

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Well, I hoped everyone had fun with this, I know I did. I feel like we got a pretty good turn out of art, and a couple people who wanted to participate but didn't really have time. If people want it, I could see making this a recurring contest... more on that later. Now, let's get on to the voting!

THE VOTING PROCESS:

Everyone can vote once. Each piece is assigned a number, when voting, you can vote by the art number or the artist name You can vote for up to three List your top three, in order of 1st, 2nd, and 3rd, 1st being your fav For each "1st" vote, the picture will get three points. 2nd gets two points, and 3rd gets one point. The image with the highest score in the end wins. Oh, my vote will count for double. Because I SAID SO. You cannot vote for your own artwork, because that is just sad.

the voting will last until Feb 4th, at which time I will tally the final scores and reveal the winners.

UPDATE: Actually, it will be more like 18 more hours... Okay, the deadline is midnight, three hours from now. But, I will likely be asleep within an hour (Bob is very tired) so honestly, I really won't put up the "voting journal" until sometime tomorrow. I'm pretty sure we have most of the entries, minus one from Taylor who is having trouble scanning it, so I don't expect any more entires. BUT, we'll just see, I suppose. Anyhoo, voting will be up at some point tomorrow. Prepare yourself for the excitement, or whatever. The entries are all rockin', so it shall be quite a fun finale.

Details are as follows:

TEH DEADLINE: Jan 20, 2011, at midnight EST

TEH RULES:-Entries may be of any media. Digital, traditional, photomanip, whatevs. No poetry or fan fic. But haiku is acceptable, bonus points if it's in Japanese.-Each contestant may submit one piece to the contest. Although if they want to make more for fun, that's cool.-The only requirement of subject matter is that it must feature a character/ship from my comic DUH. Reference can be found here: gotbob.deviantart.com/art/DUH-…gotbob.deviantart.com/gallery/…gotbob.deviantart.com/gallery/…-As I currently lack higher quality reference material, accuracy is not uber-important.-Characters do not need to be created in my style, in fact I specifically am looking forward to seeing my characters in new styles.-The winners will be decided by public vote (and my own personal votes as well, which are worth more points, bwahaha)

TEH PRIZES:First place - an 8 1/2"x11" color drawing of any character of your choice (in my usual stumpy chibi form), and a cameo in a future DUH stripSecond place - an 8 1/2"x11" black and white drawing of any character of your choice (in my usual stumpy chibi form), and a cameo in a future DUH stripThird place - a doodle and a cameo in a future DUH strip

All other contestants will recieve a randomly chosen complimentary prize of my choosing. Bwahahaha.

Now... GO!!

The entries so far:Downsizer by Hartter, B.I.I. by RobD4E, Manjula by OrShouldI, Downsizer by Liza88, Dr. & by Sempaiko, DUH by Mafer

-Bob Guy

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So, it occurs to me I'm not always able to properly convey what is going on in my mind. Take for instance my recent poll, "Should I make a spinoff comic just for the Downsizer?" gotbob.deviantart.com/journal/…

I assumed I'd get an overwhelming response of "YES!" but that wasn't the case, and it is my own fault, as I did a horrible job of explaining what I had in mind. I think what got most people confused is that the "yes" answer also said "his stories do not fit well in DUH", which most people assumed meant I would remove him entirely from DUH, possibly even the "DUH universe". Don't worry, this is not the case at all. Think of it like other comics, like when Wolverine or Gambit got their own solo title. They were still very much a part of X-Men, but they had their own comic to run free in.

(In case it isn't yet obvious, moments after posting the poll I knew I was going to make the spin off, regardless of the response)

Here's my plan. DUH will continue to update Monday and Friday, and schedule/time willing, Downsizer will update on Wednesdays. So, this firstly means we will go from seeing Downsizer three times in almost five months (his current rate of appearance) to weekly (again, time willing). I keep mentioning time willing, I might miss a week here and there, but even twice a month is better than three times in five months, right?

And, Downsizer will still appear in the panels of DUH, usually when it in some way pivotal to the rest of the cast. And a lot of the cast will appear in Downsizer, giving more jokes of Blix and Maria and so on. And, sometimes story lines will start in one comic and jump to the other, jokes will appear in one comic that reference the other, and so on. The Downsizer comic will very much contribute to the universe of DUH.

So, I hope with this proper explaining of my intentions will serve to clear up any confusion, and hopefully recieve the response I was shooting for, that of excitement. Or at least "okie dokie, I can handle that." And look out for the debut of this... in a few weeks, when I get my butt caught up on art projects.

-Bob Guy

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