the shades of liguria – cinque terre

No, I am not a fan of ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’. Although I read all parts (skipping every other page). I just like knowing what people talk about. Seems the same was with Cinque Terre. Everyone has been there. Everyone loved it. Everyone had some particular experience there. I was meant to go there already since July, but there was always something more interesting. In the end I thought those are small cities mainly for hiking, so it wasn’t put on my priority. Until my Friend, Suku, has mentioned that this was her dream to go and visit the place before leaving back to India. So we went off. Just two days before her flight.

Looking through the photos on the internet, some recommendations, suggestions what to do and what to see I started falling for this place. It seemed magical. Soon I was about to experience this fully. Saturday morning we have left Milan in really good moods. Despite the weather forecast saying that it’s gonna be cold and rainy we were motivated to explore as much as possible and take most of the trip and last hours before our separation.

What a surprise we had when we have reached La Spezia (where our hotel was) and started to sweat in our thick jumpers as it was really warm (+16 degrees!). We parked the car. Got lost. Found very nice lady that traveled with us on two buses in order to show us where the train station was. It is important to mention that the hotel was 6 min walking from the train station. Now you can imagine how lost we were before to take 2 buses …

First city was Riomaggiore. In the sun, we have been joking around, while trying to take the best photos, but of course it took ages to convince me to take a photo of myself – then I gave up and surprisingly was asking for some more shots. (not vodka ones!) This place was definitely the brightest one. It was a great beginning of the trip.

I haven’t felt the brutally coming Monday yet, so I was very careless. In the end, MONDAY IS NOT REAL! What the fuck is Monday?! Joking around come non ci fosse un domani, laughing my ass off about the most ridiculous things. People around must have thought that I have some issues, but.. I don’t think about others 😉 I even wore my brand new glasses, that I honestly hate. But I did not care.

After Riomaggiore, there was a time for Manarola. Very picturesque city where we have also eaten in the restaurant carried out by a couple of elder marriage. Home food. Sweet couple. Oh my god… I started feeling sentimental and everyone knows I am not sentimental at all. More like ‘bah..what the fuck?!’ type of a person. But come on… homemade food in grandma style (maybe not mine, but I imagine she could be my Italian grandma 😉 ) can move even such a rational person as I am. So we have started talking about future.

Our dreams and how to make them reality. Some things made me angry. As if I didn’t want to understand what was happening around. Accepting reality is not my strongest feature. I have heard the word fate few times during that trip and I am still not convinced. I mean the truth is there are weird things happening around myself, but how much is it me wanting something, looking for some sights or simple unnatural powers? Who knows?

I always try to find my own way to perceive what is happening in order to make it easier. But I could not handle this one. I was just getting pissed off. At the world. For being so big and me so small. And no, I don’t mean smelling armpits on the bus, but not being able to be everywhere, with everyone, all the time. I do my best on whatsapp, but clearly it is not the same 😀

Corniglia. A lot of effort. So many stairs… Despite almost falling twice, I was laughing all the time and covering getting more and more sad. I don’t know if I hid it well enough, but I did my best. Walking up the hill gives you some time to think. UNFORTUNATELY. This should be forbidden. Like there should be some distractions on the way. But no.. the only one was the sign of the path – which was the exact polish flag – oh.. thanks for making me more homesick. We sat a bit looking at the view from the top. Took a glass of wine. I have made friends with two cats.

Lost my head due to so many thoughts.. Trying to come up with the best excuse and way to keep all my Friends close! …so while I couldn’t focus both on the cat, thinking what was coming soon and holding a glass of wine, I have dropped wine. Cut myself and spilled it on the floor. Great. Some Italian older gentleman started complaining that I did it because I was focused on the cat. I wasn’t. As a born negotiator, I was trying to come up with the best pack with devil possible. I guess I wasn’t creative enough! A little run down to the station and … Vernazza.

I think it was my favorite city. For few reasons. But we have spent there the longest time both on Saturday and Sunday. On Sunday I got completely turned off in the city. I barely spoke, actually completely mute. For few reasons I guess. When I am down, I either speak too much and pretend all is good, I am a complete bitch and you better don’t come closer than 1km to me or I don’t speak at all. I felt weird as I was also meeting another Friend met recently for like 3 minutes, so I was supposed to be happy. But I simply lost all the excitement and just got cold. As I would do. Sounds depressing, but this is what I have felt. I was happy inside and super awkward and lost outside. I hope they didn’t mind or… notice!

Although, people are mainly used to me talking some nonsense, so I guess it was alright when I have started out of nowhere my stream of ‘word’sciousness. This mood led me down to the last city.

On Sunday, last city. Monterosso. The biggest. Probably with less nice views, but most interesting city. I was very calm there. Kind of accepted than in 7 hours I will be saying goodbye and crying in the car for last 45 minutes to Como. Maybe not 45, but a good 10 – yeah I did! I started joking around again and being more relaxed. In the end I had to use the time wisely. Next time we see each other is most likely no sooner than August or even LATER!!

Now you will ask why? Why did I went through all of those steps to say goodbye to a person that I have met for only 6 months? Because I get close only to some people. The ones I believe that can change me in a good way and I have changed. I was calmer. More distant and was able to build up my private world in the new place. Of course, I have friends here, but this is the one that is leaving me now. And being the selfish type only child, I believed I own the only right to do so. But well… Sometimes I need to wake up from this selfish side of me. Open my eyes, remember the acceptance feeling of Monterosso and move forward. In the end those are not goodbyes but see you laters. Like soon I am gonna have the reunion in Lisbon, meet for the first time (and we know each other for good few years) my kind of career mentor (I hope you read it and die from laughter!:PPPP) in Amsterdam, show my little world and origins in Kraków and my hometown, discovering new places with my Como Mentor & Friend, getting to know how to party with italians in the south, showing my Mum the beauty of Toscany and hopefully big.. Hello again in India! ❤

and yes… I still believe I am the only one having the right to leave, so don’t try to prove me wrong again. anyone.