Judgemental apps are ruining my life

Whenever I see this app on my phone it’s like a giant “who are you kidding?” Sign. I tried running earlier in the summer but hated it more than anything. I mean, the app was pretty cool for someone that’s actually interested in the sport, the app tracks your speed and distance all the while giving you updates on your run and syncing with the music on your phone. After awhile it started sending me messages like “you thought this was a good time for a run last week, why don’t you go for a run now?”. First of all, stop judging me and second, I don’t wanna. I still keep it on my phone so that when people peer over at my apps they’ll think I’m some hot shot runner. Now you know all my secrets