Fatwa No : 179697

Her sister is a liar and has lewd talks with boys

Fatwa Date : Jumaadaa Al-Aakhir 25, 1433 / 16-5-2012

Question

Assalamalekum, I have a younger sister, who has been lying since a very young age. She is now almost 22 years of age. My parents have been working on her for a long time but everything in vain, nothing has helped. Few days back we discovered that she is in lewd talks with guys. We put lot of restrictions on her and tried all possible things so that she stops this stuff. She promised us that she has stopped everything and we believed her. Just two days back we came to know that she has not stopped anything and she is making us fool. My dad read the chats of my sister and started crying an he hates her and same with my mom. They now feel that she should be made to sit at home. I feel we cannot avoid or disown our own family member. I badly nee your advise and help, and please pray for my family as we all are going through a very tough time. Please answer my question as soon as possible. Thanks

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad , is His slave and Messenger.

First of all, we ask Allaah, The Almighty, to enable us and you to do good and to guide us and you and to rectify your sister and bless her with a pious husband who would keep her chaste.

The first things that we advise you to do is to look for a husband who is religious and has a good moral conduct to marry her and we have already explained the benefits of an early marriage for girls in Fatwa 116746.

Also, there are a number of steps to be followed among which are the following:

1- You should choose for her a pious company of girls who would guide her and whom she would take as an example.

2- You should supplicate Allaah to guide her and enable her to do good deeds, especially the supplication of her parents, as it is responded to.

3- You should not always allow her to be alone using the communication equipments in seclusion; so she should not be allowed to use them except in the presence of her family members.

4- You should use the different means of Da’wah with her, like audio and video tapes, useful and short brochures, and you should speak to her in a soft and gentle manner, as one may achieve with softness what he may not achieve with violence and roughness. Indeed, being too strict with her may lead her to do what is even worse than what she was prevented from doing.