Bless This Mess

Snapshot 04.14.16

–There’s nothing like chronic illness to knock you for a loop. I have been dealing with doctors and tests and insurance and drug companies as we try to determine what is going on with me and the best course to fix it. It seems I might finally have some answers. I’m doped up with steroids, pain meds, and prescription-strength probiotics in the meantime while I wait for my new round of injections to come in the mail. During this time our computer has also collapsed and the entire family (minus me, knocking on wood so hard) has come down with a nasty stomach flu that’s making the rounds.

–On Sunday night Isobel started complaining of feeling poorly. It was while we were doing her weekend reading assignment and before she started school, so I assumed she was coming down with Sunday Night Fever, if you know what I mean, so I cruelly made her read page after page aloud even as she complained of symptoms such as “hot brain” and “hard spit.” (Can you blame me for thinking she was faking?) We finished our reading and I packed her lunch and the moment I was done the barfpocalypse begun. The next day, Elias caught a ride on the barf train, because whatever sister does, he must follow suit. My Mom stopped by spontaneously that afternoon, because she was in the neighborhood, and as soon I saw her I made like Ellie Sattler in Jurassic Park. Isi is finally better, and now Anthony is down for the count. I am praying I don’t get it, because that’s just what I need. I have been washing every blanket, pillow, and article of clothing that they have come into contact with, plus bathing my hands in sanitizer every few minutes. They are so dry from all the alcohol I could probably start a fire with a round of vigorous clapping.

–I’ve been looking into a getting a cane lately. I don’t need one all the time, just for the really bad days, and just for some activities. I have been relying on pushing Elias’ stroller or the shopping cart to distribute my weight and help me along, but eventually Elias won’t need a stroller and not everywhere I go requires a shopping cart. At least, I’m looking forward to leaving the house some days that involves going to places that aren’t the grocery store.

–Isobel’s school recently held a Jog-A-Thon as a fundraiser, which is an activity wherein students get pledges to jog around the track per lap. Isobel has loved participating in all school fundraisers so far, so I asked her if she wanted to do it. “No way, Mom! Did you see they make you run? I am not doing that.” Girlfriend takes after me; she only finds running an acceptable activity if one is chased.

–We had the kids’ double birthday party last weekend, and when we woke up on Saturday it wasn’t just raining, it was pouring. (The old man was totally snoring if you count Zorro.) We had planned on having the party outside, of course, but this year was the first year we celebrated at home instead of a park or at Grandma Juani’s house, so we were able to shift gears pretty easily. We let guests know kids could bring umbrellas and rain boots if they wanted to go splashing, and though we had some splashing in the beginning of the party, by the time things were winding down it had dried up quite a bit, and many kids stayed late and enjoyed the after party, which consisted of making a fort in my uncle’s car, blowing bubbles all over my wet car, and stabbing Epic Good Sports Anthony and Justin with piping swords. Later, Isobel told me the only bad part about her party was that it had to end. This year we went with a Pokemon theme, since both kids love it, and one of my favorite parts was playing Pin The Pokeball on the Charhazard. I think Kingston and Victoria were the only kids who didn’t obviously cheat, and it only became more and more hilarious as each kid somehow placed their Pokeball sticker exactly on top of the previous one in the exact center of the game. They all suddenly became the Robin Hood of Pokeballs. Isobel’s sweet cousin Jewel even stopped to turn her Pokeball right-side up while she was still wearing her mask. It was so hilarious. I set up a temporary tattoo station full of Pokemon tattoos, and Elias requested three: one on his hand, one on his cheek, and one on his belly. Isobel cried at the thought of removing her Pikachu tattoo so it stayed there until it died of natural causes. Elias had even less desire to open his presents this year than he did last year, but fortunately he had lots of help. Everyone partied hard, and I crashed twice as hard the next day, but it was worth it.