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OK, perhaps it works better when you watch it - but I felt similar emotions when Derby County recently revealed their third kit.

Yes, it’s black. However, it’s not so much to colour that bothers me, it’s the fact that we need a third kit in the first place.

After scanning through the list of teams in the Championship I can’t see any that would clash with our white home shirts or our “inside-of-a-Chinese-takeaway-from-that-episode-of-Only-Fools-and-Horses” yellow away kit.

So, why is there a need for a third kit?

Of course, the answer is obvious. Commercially, having three different Rams kits on sale is better than two. Derby are not alone in this - most clubs do it - and if people want to buy them then that’s their prerogative.

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But I’ll probably be keeping my money in my pocket and, instead, will be investing in something from the DCFC Megastore’s retro collection. I have my eye on a reproduction of the Rams away kit from the mid-1980s - dark blue and light blue stripes with a white Bass logo. I’ve always wanted one of them.

Anyway, back to the new third kit. OK, it’s black. Not my first choice of colour after growing up in an era where only the ref was allowed to wear black - but it’s nothing new these days after Manchester United set the tone in the 1990s. And it’s not the first time the Rams have plumped for black.

All in all, it’s not a bad effort. The patterns on the front of the shirt are quite interesting and remind me very much of some of the Rams kits from the early 1990s.

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The club describes it as “a strong and energetic front graphic” - hopefully the players who pull on the shirt will be equally so.

I have a bit of a theory about both the Rams away kit and third kits for this season. The bright yellow away kit is designed to dazzle the opposition into submission.

Meanwhile, the third kit is a kind of camouflage to be used for night games only. During the Second World War, the Royal Navy used to paint their warships in such a way as to break up their outline - this could be the reasoning behind the patterns on the shirt of the third kit.

Hopefully, it will help HMS Chris Martin slip past the enemy defences undetected and fire a missile into the top corner of the net.

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But the kit isn’t all black. It has bits of bright pink on it too. Again, this has me getting all dewy-eyed for those dayglow socks that were once all the rage at my primary school back in the 1980s.

So, if you want to buy the third kit that’s absolutely fine - but to quote Dragon’s Den, I won’t be investing.

But what do I know? I’m not really what you would call a fashionista. The arrangement in my household is that I wear the trousers - but my wife tells me which pair. I am, to all intents and purposes, a tailor’s dummy that Mrs J dresses.

And, of course, it doesn’t really matter what kit Derby County are wearing as long as they win.

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The sight or mention of black may send Johnny Nice Painter into apoplexy - but I’ll be quite happy if the third kit brings the team a bit of luck.

And if the 2017-18 season goes down in history as the season the Rams finally got back into the Premier League then the club has my full blessing to re-issue the third kit as part of retro-collection 30 years’ down the line.

I probably won’t buy it though. A football shirt on a chap in his 70s isn’t a terribly good look.