sugar free

My mother’s memory is getting a little foggy.The doctor prescribed playing piano, socializing, reading and writing a memoir as her treatment.I encouraged her to write and told her that I would love to read what her life was like before I knew her.

Today, she emailed me the story of how she and her mother traveled from Shanghai to Chong Qing to reunite with her father in 1942, in the midst of the Japanese invasion.What is today a two and half hour flight took them more than a month of walking on dirt roads and riding on ox-powered carts.They zigzagged away from the major routes to avoid the Japanese occupied areas.Sometimes, her mother would carry her for hours on her back when she was too exhausted to walk.

It was an arduous and dangerous journey, but my mother was too young to fully realize the risk involved.She was happy to be with her mother, who had spent 5 years in England and America with her husband, leaving my mother and my aunt to the care of the relatives in Shanghai.

My mother and her younger sister, a year or so before their parents left them in 1937.

My mother’s mother — my grandmother — was not what one would consider a good traditional Chinese woman, who would have stayed behind to take care of the old and the young while her husband went abroad.Then again, most traditional Chinese women back then had arranged marriages.They did not necessarily love their husbands.From what I found out, my grandmother loved my grandfather.A couple of years ago, I found a poem dedicated to my grandmother by a renowned poet of that era by the name of Liu Ya-zi in one of his poem collections.It described my grandmother being in love with my grandfather. (See Note.)

The war had just broken out when my grandmother left with my grandfather to England where he received his doctorate degree in Neuropharmacology.When they left, my mother was not yet four and her younger sister was only two years old.

I think in my mother’s eyes, it was during the long and grueling trip from Shanghai to Chong Qing that my grandmother redeemed herself for abandoning her and her sister.My mother admired my grandmother for her resourcefulness and for her ability to enjoy life. During their difficult journey, my grandmother always had two magical items with her to make life (or boiled vegetable and watery porridge) better, tastier — her bottles of saccharin and MSG.That I, too, remember.When she was persecuted for being a foreign spy and sent down to the countryside during the Cultural Revolution, she said she would be fine as long as she had her saccharin and her MSG.

My grandmother holding me in front of our house

I began to live in my grandmother’s room at age six after my grandfather committed suicide.Looking back, she was not much older than I am now when she lost her beloved husband.In the time of great personal tragedy, she taught me by example to always insist on finding pleasure in life no matter how bad things are. When I first saw the film Mary Poppins and heard the song A Spoonful of Sugar, I immediately thought of my grandmother – the Mary Poppins of my life – making the medicine go down with a pill of saccharin when sugar was an absolute impossibility.

Here is a spoonful of sugar for you, grandma! (Well, it’s actually xylitol, but it looks and taste exactly like sugar, with only half the calories, not that you ever worried about high calorie intake.)

Raspberry Vanilla Coffee Cake

Ingredients:

1 cup milk of choice

1/2 cup vanilla-flavored yogurt (I used fat-free Fage)

1 tbsp ground flax or 1 egg white

1 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract

3 tbsp coconut or veg oil

2 cups wholewheat flour

2/3 cups xylitol or sugar (or sucanat)

4 tsp baking powder

1 tsp salt

1 tsp cinnamon

1/16 tsp pure stevia, or 2 extra tbsp sugar (or 2 NuNaturals packets)

1 2/3 cups raspberries

1/3 cup more raspberries

optional: chocolate chips

Preparation:

Preheat oven to 350 F, and grease a 9 1/2-in springform pan. Combine first 5 ingredients (yes, the flax too) and whisk. Set aside. In a separate, large measuring bowl, combine all remaining ingredients except the final 1/3 cup raspberries, and stir well. Pour wet into dry and stir until evenly combined (don’t overmix). Pour into the prepared pan, then sprinkle the remaining berries on top. Bake 1 hour, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out relatively clean. Cool the healthy raspberry coffee cake in pan on a wire rack, 15 minutes, then remove the sides of the pan.

It’s wonderful that the days are getting longer each day. When Peter came back from work at 7pm, it was still light out. We had these little treats in the backyard like other people having a cocktail before dinner.

Angela had no school today and I expected her to rise sometime in the afternoon, but she surprised me by getting up in mid morning and agreeing to take a walk with me to Safeway.It was a mild day with the sun peeking out from the clouds.Most people were at work or in school.There were some young mothers with babies or toddlers and some old people on the streets.We were walking at a leisurely pace, commenting on the fashion statement of some passersby or the store window displays.Nowhere to rush to, not a care in the world.It was the most casual of moments, but it suddenly seemed to go into slow motion.I became acutely aware of myself and everything around me.I turned to look at Angela and she gave me a smile that was especially beautiful and warm.

Memories of vacations and holidays often run together into a blurry picture, but this impromptu Friday walk will be remembered like an unexpected gift — a little package of happiness at my door step.

Chocolate and Peanut butter is a pretty magic combo, though second to mother and daughter.

Combine all ingredients in a food processor or blender. Scoop into a container or even a little pie pan, and put in the fridge or freezer so it will firm up. (Alternatively, you can eat it soft, like frosting!)

Peter was on call on Wednesday night and got called in at 2:30am for an emergency. And now he is on call again for the ER this weekend.A little treat is called for.He has a sweet tooth, but needs to watch his sugar intake.This little guilt-free stress reducer and energy booster topped with chocolate frosting is just what the doctor ordered.It looks and tastes so decadent that you wouldn’t believe it’s healthy, but it is.The best part is that it takes only one minute to make.Well, not exactly one minute, but no more than five.

Give it a try tomorrow.Impress someone!

One Minute Chocolate Cake in a Mug

Ingredients:

1 tbsp plus 2 tsp unsweetened cocoa powder

3 tbsp spelt flour (or all purpose flour)

1/8 tsp salt

3 tsp sugar or xylitol

1/4 tsp baking powder

2 tsp coconut oil or vegetable oil

3 tablespoons milk of choice (I used almond milk)

1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract

Preparation:

Combine dry ingredients and mix very, very well. Add liquid, stir, then transfer to a little dish, ramekin, or even a coffee mug. Either microwave 30-40 seconds OR cook in a 350F oven for about 14 minutes. If you don’t want to eat it straight out of the dish, be sure to spray your dish first (and then wait for it to cool before trying to remove it).

Ingredients For Chocolate Fudge:

1/4 cup almond butter or peanut butter

4-8 tsp pure maple syrup (I used sugar free maple flavor syrup)

2 tbsp cocoa powder

2 tsp milk of choice, or more for thinner frosting

3/4 tsp pure vanilla extract

optional: handful of chocolate chips (the “pieces”)

Preparation:

Blend everything (including chips, if using) in a small food processor or Magic Bullet. If you have a bigger processor, it might be best to double the recipe so everything blends more smoothly. Best to store uneaten frosting covered in the fridge.

In the beginning of 2014, which feels like just moments ago, it never occurred to me that I would be cooking and blogging about my experience in the kitchen.This seemingly whimsical idea has unexpectedly taken root in me somehow. I’m not sure what exactly is driving me to do this. Angela and I started this experiment in an attempt to make our family eat more mindfully.But what sustains me in the daily practice is perhaps my impulse to make things, and my desire to learn things.I have learned and am still learning how to prepare more healthful and more delicious food.In the process I have also discovered a deep pleasure in cooking, and in looking at all the familiar edible things with the newness of a baby.

I have always loved food, but the past two months have taught me to eat more deliberately, and to taste the flavors instead of simply pigging out.The past two months are also wonderful because the kitchen has become not only a sanctuary for me, but also a warm place where we find joy as a family.The children are now more involved in cooking their own food — Audrey has turned out to be quite talented in everything breakfast — smoothies, French toast and pancakes, you name it.As a matter of fact, she is making healthy-fied blueberry pancakes for dinner as I’m writing.And writing.I have also been learning to better express myself in the language of my adopted country.Words and sentences come too slowly and are never adequate enough to capture the grinding of my brain, but the practice does calm and focus my mind.

Today I want to share with you twelve of our family’s favorite recipes from the blog.Most of the dishes I have cooked are relatively simple and quick to make — something accomplishable on a daily basis.I have completely done away with butter, and in most cases with simple carbohydrates.Almost all of the breads, muffins and cookies were made of almond flour or coconut flour or both — something I hadn’t known one could do before this blog.

When I was growing up in China, we didn’t celebrate Christmas; I never even heard of Christmas.But we did celebrate Dec. 26th — Chairman Mao’s birthday.We would cook longevity noodles in the kitchen that we shared with our neighbors. We would bow in front of a Mao portrait and wish him ten thousand years of life. I realize now that my parents probably only did the celebration for the sake of the kids and the neighbors.They would not want the neighbors to report them for not loving Chairman Mao enough to wish him a long life.And they certainly didn’t want to destroy the illusion for their children, who were brought up to worship Mao. They believed that worshipping Mao as the saint and savior would make their children safer and happier.Not worshipping Mao would be dangerous to their wellbeing.

The Mao badge collection was my most valued possession during childhood. This photo was taken in the 80s in LA by my friend, Anchee Min.

Strange how I still wake up on December 26th every year and involuntarily think, “It’s Mao’s birthday.”

Today, the thought of Mao brought me back to those years of food scarcity and what I was willing to do for a bowl of ice cream.

I heard from other girls that you would be rewarded with a bowl of ice cream if you were lucky enough to have your tonsils removed. It was a minor surgical procedure performed without anesthesia. I convinced my mother to let me have the operation, but when I was given a bowl of ice cream to soothe my throat, swallowing hurt so badly that I gave my reward to my brother.

Nowadays ice cream is everywhere, and I have had decades to recover from my tonsillectomy so ice cream is once again a great love of mine. However, we all know how overindulgence in ice cream isn’t exactly healthy…

Guilt Free Ice Cream

I improved on my old guilt free ice cream recipe by using the evaporated milk and adding more dark chocolate.The result is a much richer and more delicious ice cream.

Ingredients for Chocolate Chocolate Chip Ice Cream:

1 12oz can 2% Evaporated Milk

2 cup non fat Greek Yogurt (I used Fage)

7 tablespoon Xylitol or other sweetener

1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract

1/4 teaspoon Xanthan Gum

3 tablespoon 100% Unsweetened Cocoa Powder

3 tablespoon 100% Unsweetened Chocolate chips

Mix all ingredients in a blender.Add to ice cream maker.Let it churn until ice cream congeals and hardens, about 25 to 30 minutes.

Audrey made the gingerbread cookies to go with the ice cream.And she typed the following recipe form me.

Healthier Gingerbread Cookies Ingredients:

1/2 cup apple sauce

3/4 cup brown sugar or xylitol

3 tbs. coconut oil

1 egg

1/3 cup maple flavored syrup

3 cups 100% whole wheat flour

2 tsp powdered ginger

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp cinnamon

Preparation:

Mix dry ingredients together. In a separate bowl, mix wet ingredients. Mix wet and dry ingredients together and wrap in plastic wrap. Leave the mixture in the fridge for 3 hours or overnight.

Roll out and cut. Preheat oven at 350F and bake about 12 minutes or until light brown.

Saturday morning.Peter went to play golf.He often plays 9 holes on Saturday mornings before the girls wake up.That is if he is not on call.I cooked oatmeal while reading whatever was around.Since Audrey became a vegetarian, I have been racking my brains to get enough protein in her.She doesn’t like eggs or cheese, so oatmeal cooked in milk with rice protein or whey protein powder has been an important meal for her.

As I stirred the oatmeal, I read this week’s Time Magazine cover story The Truth About Home Cooking.How fitting!The best selling food writer Mark Bittman shared his views, experiences and statistics on cooking.

Nowadays, the internet is clogged with food porn. More and more people say they are concerned about their health and the well-being of the planet, but fewer and fewer people are actually cooking dinners at home.

Bittman wrote: “There’s something peculiar about the our obsession with the business of cuisine.There are 24/7 TV shows on Food, countless food magazines and more Instagram accounts of impossibly beautiful and exotic dishes than one could count or, frankly, stomach… Making food a performance, as entertaining as that can be from our seats in the grandstand, has had a damaging effect on our relationship to cooking.In a land of million-dollar kitchens, Himalayan pink salt, dragon fruit, truffle butter and Wagyu skirt steak, most of us feel like outsiders — and as result, we cook less than we ever have.”He encourages us to take charge of our food and gives us suggestions on how to start cooking again.“Dinner can be simple: a soup, even one based on frozen vegetables; a piece of meat and a loaf of hearty bread; a chicken that roasts while you make a salad; pasta with vegetables…”

照烧鸡面

So, in the spirit of easy and basic home cooking, I made crock pot honey teriyaki chicken based on the recipe from Rasa Malaysia.The crock pot comes handy when you need to go in and out of the house running errands while the food is cooking.And today was one of those days for me.

Put all the ingredients other than the green onion and sesame seeds in the pot and turn it on high.Go do whatever you want to do and come back in 4 1/2 hours.Viola! You have your meal!Simple and delicious.

香煎味增豆腐

For the two vegetarians in the house, I made a crispy miso tofu on a bed of spinach and a hearty vegetable lentil soup.

I always buy washed organic baby spinach from Costco.It is the easiest thing to use in any menu.I use it for my sandwiches, salads, smoothies, and sauté it for a side dish for many main courses.

I use a teaspoon olive oil, a couple of crushed garlic and a little salt.You only need to cook the spinach for about 45 seconds.

I use Hodo Soy’s organic firm tofu from Costco.Spread a thin layer of miso paste on the sliced tofu and sear it dry with a little cooking spray.

蔬菜汤

The key to cooking the vegetable soup is to sauté the onion, tomato and carrots with olive oil until they caramelize. Then add vegetable stock, or chicken stock or water.I usually add whatever vegetable I have at hand. Or soak some beans.Or, like today, I used lentil.The soup was perfect for the cool grey autumn day.

煎麦片椰丝核桃煮梨子

In Mark Bittman’s article there is a simple desert recipe for Skillet Pear Crisp.It was a something Audrey could easily make and her desert was a smashing success. She even made it healthier by omitting the butter and sugar and using coconut oil and xylitol. By involving the children we instill in them the love and habit of cooking from a young age.While Angela is the nerd, who studies the details of nutritional value of everything, Audrey enjoys being a hands on cook.