We just met a week ago when me and my husband went to her house and slept over for few days. But, I miss her already.

We don’t meet and talk much, since we’ve been living in different cities for years. But, we never as far as our distance. She’s the only one I have to talk almost about everything. She’s my bestfriend, my soulmate.

We fight sometimes, but our love is so much bigger than any anger or hate between us. I love her so much.

05:23 p.m. right now, all alone at a cafè in my hometown. Been a while..

Happened accidentally. Stopped here because of a problem of my husband’s car when I was driving alone while he is working.

Been a while, since the last time I drove and went to some place all alone. Feels quite weird yet relaxing somehow. After facing a trouble that I cannot handle by my own.

Luckily it’s a live music performance here, so it fills up the emptiness around this place. No one come alone but me. Music and chatters here and there, but still so much empty table to fill. Warm dim lights, wooden interior, friendly weather. I guess I miss this kind of atmosphere. Even though, too bad not in a very good situation right now.

That day was one of the happiest day in my life. Sometimes I still can’t believe it’s true. I’m a wife now.

That day, was the day that my dream wedding become a reality. Gazillion thanks to my parents, sister, vendors and family for making it happened. ❤

Dear husband, said yes to be married to you was the craziest decision I’ve ever made. You know I’m not that easy to say yes. To a marriage thing especially. But, you know what? This is also the best decision I’ve ever made. I chose the right person and the right time to be happy together for the rest of my life.

Tonight, I was scrolling down my Instagram home page and found a picture posted by someone that reminds me of my old dream. And the dreams that I had when I was younger. A picture of a beautiful coffee shop at a city in one country.

“I wish I were her.” To be honest, for a second or two, that thought crossed in my mind. Not for too long, because I know where I stand and I’m happy enough with my life today. But I can understand, it happened because it was my dream. Strolling around in a lot of beautiful cities out there by my self, travelling to many countries in the world. So, it’s normal.

What I have in mind now is only that I really want to apologize to my younger self. Make some peace with the old me, about not to fulfill “her” dream, and took another way of life far from the dreams “she” had before.

Call me crazy, but deep inside my heart, I really feel sorry for “her”. Maybe just like the feeling of a mom who cannot fulfill her daughter wants. I guess.

Dear young me,
You were so positive, full of energy, a huge dreamer, I like it.
I know I’ve changed you now, to become an older little woman whom play save and not that super energetic anymore. I’m sorry.
You know it’s not easy for me too, to let go the dreams we had for a long time. But you know that it is impossible to be happened anyway, right?
Just remember what mama ever said, “no overseas all alone.” So, I’m not the only one who ruin your dream! hoho Well, nobody ruin it. Trust me, it happened this way for good. Your older self now has pretty understand.

Dear young me,
You know what? I miss you sometimes. Well, lots of times.
One thing you really have to know, that even though you didn’t reach that dreams, you still become a happy woman when you are older. Because you finally feel loved. Something that we never thought could be happened before.
You still have a chance to get your dreams anyway, (in one condition) with a travel/life partner or two. And trust me, you’ll feel happier that way. :)