Mariner Moose Becomes First Openly Gay Mascot

SEATTLE WA – Seattle Mariners’ mascot Mariner Moose shocked the sports world at a Wednesday press conference by coming out of the closest as the first openly gay mascot in professional sports. The announcement comes just weeks after the NHL launched the “You Can Play” campaign, which put the question of acceptance of gay teammates among athletes into the public dialogue.

With manager Eric Wedge sitting next to him for support, Mariners Moose emotionally pantomimed a routine involving picking up a man from a bar and bringing him home, until the journalists in attendance were able to figure out that the Mariners’ mascot was actually coming out of the closet. Before any of the journalists could even ask a question, Wedge jumped in to state that the Mariners support Mariner Moose.

“Let’s be clear, Mariner Moose is just as part of the Mariner family today as he was yesterday. Whether it be pitching, hitting, or mascoting, I accept anyone that gives 110% out there and will fight to the end.”

When reached later in the day for a comment, Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig released a statement, which read in part “all of MLB’s teams fill their rosters in compliance with federal hiring laws, which state that no one will be discriminated based upon race, ethnicity, religion, or sexual orientation, just to name a few. Mariner Moose will still be a part of the Mariners and I trust the Mariners to judge him solely on his mascot talent.”

Though Mariner Moose wouldn’t release the identity of his partner in order to protect his identity, he did confirm at his press conference that he is in a committed relationship with another mascot by pointing to his ring finger. While the identity of the other mascot is unknown, many insiders believe that it is a mascot of a prominent NBA team.