Sunday, September 2

11. I signed on to start my draft and for some reason my team The Little Giants, didn't appear. I checked my email and sure enough I got a message from the Commissioner:

I'm really sorry, but I have to remove your team from the fantasy league. It won't let us play with an odd number of teams, and you were the last to join. I feel really bad because I invited you to play. Sorry :-(Son of a whore! Oh well, I'm too fucked up to concentrate anyways.

12. My cousin Craig has a tattoo of Wile E. Coyote on one asscheek, Road Runner on the other. He's had this for quite a while, at least 10 years. Turns out he got two more. On the side of his hip Wile E. caught up with Road Runner and choked him to death. Below his belly button is Underdog. Yes, Underdog.