Monthly Archives: March 2013

So it’s day three of this nasty ass rash that started on my neck and back and has over the last few days spread to include all of my body except my crotch and palms. It’s under my hair, it’s on my feet, it’s on my fingers, it’s on my arms. Yesterday I took some Benadryl and nearly fell asleep at the mediclinic. Then when I DID get home from the mediclinic I went straight to my room and slept for two hours. The doctor at the mediclinic thinks it’s a contact rash or something I ate and gave me six Reactins to take once a day. I took my second one today and it has helped a little but dammit, I still have a rash.

And it HURTS when I scratch, and if I scratch a whole bunch of new itchy bumps form where my nail has scratched. It’s awful. Stupid rash!

So anyway, I might go see a real doctor soon, I am making an appointment tomorrow to get in to my regular doc.

Speaking of medical issues, I have made the decision to discontinue my birth control pills. I like that they lessen my period, BUT I don’t like having to remember to take them every day and I REALLY don’t like that I think they have lowered my sex drive to non-existent. So to hell with them. Plus I am a Lesbian, and I don’t fuck men, or anybody really, but especially not men, so they are kind of useless. I think I am going to try and get an ablation so I can stop having my period altogether. I have to do more research. But one thing is for sure, I do not want kids! And I’m already nearly 35, I think my biological clock would have kicked in more strongly if I had any kind of maternal instinct. So an ablation is totally reasonable.

I washed my sheets today and they went inside my damn duvet cover and anyway, there is still kitty fur all over them. Dammit! 🙁

What else? I am writing a fictionalized account of sobriety. It should be interesting. I have a page and a half written already. I need a minimum of seven pages, preferably ten, and then I can submit it. I also have to do some editing of it at the end probably. Just to make it flow better. I hadn’t written in a while so it was fun to start today. It was also annoying because my Mum kept interrupting to ask me goofy questions! Oh well. I guess next time I will put my headphones on.

It’s still freakin’ snowing here! What the eff!? There is snow EVERYWHERE! It’s not leaving! Why why why? Last winter was so mild, and this winter is so evil, and it’s not even winter, it’s officially spring, and yet there is NOTHING green around here, it’s white like the oppressors! AhhhhhhhhhHh!

Well, that’s about all I have to say today. I’m tired. Reactin is non-drowsy, thank god, but it is midnight and so it’s time for me to go sleepies.

I haven’t written in a while because I got some really good news that I wasn’t allowed to talk about for three weeks! I had to wait until the official press release came out.

Anyway, my film “Sight” has been selected for the Tribeca Film Festival!!!! 😀 I am going to New York City to schmooze with the movie stars and moguls and probably rogue experimental film curators. I am in the ONE experimental shorts program. And they are opening with my film for that program too! 😀 So that makes me feel good, it’s an auspicious placement as far as a shorts program goes! I am so freakin’ excited, I want to meet Parker Posey! And John Cameron Mitchell! And that’s all I can think of, I am sure there will be other people there that make me star struck though.

My Mom is coming with me. I didn’t think I would be able to do New York City on my own without having panic attacks and stuff. Berlin was different because I had friends there and stuff, and I had been there bunches of times. But New York City, I have only been to once before, and that was in 2000. When You Know What was still standing. And traveling with my Mom is pretty good, we are good travel buddies. She came with me to Scotland and helped make all the plans. She was awesome.

So I am hoping to get her a pass or something so she can accompany me to the screenings and events. Because I am not sure what I will do if I can’t get her in. I sent an email tonight to the guy I am supposed to send questions to.

What else? Tomorrow I am talking on a panel with my friend Adrian Stimson and also Marjorie Beaucage about Two Spirited Art making and so on and so forth. I’m not sure if I should make notes, but I think I will just wing it. Sometimes that is a good idea and sometimes it’s a BAD idea. I guess we’ll find out tomorrow.

Tomorrow afternoon will be 100 days without a cigarette! I’m getting there! This is the second longest I’ve gone without a smoke! I am still doing lozenges though, but I think I might be able to wean off them pretty quick. The longest I went was six months. I am halfway there!

My romantic life has seen a glimmer of possibilities. I doubt there will be anything, but it’s sort of fun for now just pondering the What Ifs! I still don’t want to get involved with anyone until I know if I am staying in Saskatoon or leaving for Toronto. Because going to school while looking backwards with longing is not very nice. I remember when I first moved to Vancouver when I was eighteen I was still thinking about Rheanne and wanting to move her to be with me and stuff and it was really impossible and just Not Going To Happen. And I did get over it, but it sucked for a while.

Maybe I will meet someone in New York City and fall hopelessly in love and then try to help them immigrate to Canada. It happens to a lot of Canadians. Stupid border.

By the way, Beatrix peed on my leather jacket. I cleaned it, it is fine, but it made me change my mind about keeping her. I am going to keep her until the end of April and then I am getting her into this Barn Cat program at the SPCA where they try to place cats into barns of decent human beings who need mousers they can pet but don’t want in the house. I think she would make a good barn cat.

Little Mister is good! He’s middle aged now, he’s getting white on his chin. He will be eight on May 17th! He’s sleeping beside me right now.

What else? I am ready to step into the next phase of my career. I am not sure what that will look like, but I am looking forward to it. I’m glad “Sight” is getting accolades. It’s had a pretty quiet life until recently. Thank god for distributors! They make everything better!

Stay tuned for amusing anecdotes about being shown at such a major festival!

Sister (AKA Hermione my Mum’s wiener dog) made me laugh today! I was handing Mum some crackers and philly cream cheese and she asked for the knife and when I handed it to her, Sister jumped back all appalled like I was threatening her! Since then Mum has said I pulled a knife on Sister! Poor Hermiones!

Dinner wasn’t started until 6:30 and it took two hours to cook. I was crabby all evening until I finally got to eat. It didn’t help that I had skipped lunch.

Little Mister got a haircut a while ago and a bath and his toenails trimmed and he is looking sharp! He’s being very sweet.

ALSO I have made my decision about Beatrix Kitty. Shantay she stays! I am going to take her with me if I move. I’ve discovered that weirdo cat has crawled into my heart and made a home with me, so I don’t want to let her go. She is pretty special, and she’s so sweet. I wish she didn’t pee on towels, but as long as she’s not peeing on couches/beds/etc then it is okay. I do still need to take her to the vet to get checked out. I need to find out if she has a urinary tract infection. What a drag!

I am going backwards in my crushes. I have gone back THREE crushes! I had that little weird couple of months or so where I was thinking a lot about Rheanne, and now I have gone back to the crush I had BEFORE Rheanne and I even got together in 2006. It’s kind of ridiculous, and it’s not going to go anywhere and I’m not going to say anything about it to the crushee. I don’t know why I am torturing myself. She didn’t want me then either, it was totally unrequited. And anyway, bah! I have to just ignore this crazy blip of trying to find a girlfriend until my life has direction again and I know where I am going to live. If I do move to Toronto then I DEFINITELY have to get over Rheanne because she never wants to leave Saskatoon, and if I don’t go to Toronto then I have to start getting out more and finding single women who are possibilities here.

Whatever. I have a career I am trying to manage too, in all of this. I have such a weird career, it’s not getting me much money. And so far Canadian funding agencies have not supported my attempts to move into dramatic feature filmmaking, or even dramatic longer form videos. I’ve bitched about this before so I am not going to bitch again. I’ll just say that I have been held back for about three years and it is pissing me off. I had better find my floss and start flossing because I need the extra years added to my lifespan so I can make some movies, when I am finally accepted at the age of 40 or whatever. Arg! I hate the jury process sometimes.

I need a patron of the arts really, that would help. Or to win the lottery. Someone won 30 million yesterday, but they are in Ontario. So it wasn’t me. Sucks.

I can hear someone licking water. I wonder if it is Beatrix Kitty.

Luke told us this very long story about his medications on Friday. It gave me a headache. He tells us things we don’t care about, and dominates the conversation and is generally a pain. I wish he had better social skills, it feels kind of sad to be so annoyed by someone I was so close to as a child.

Also a friend died, I feel like he deserves more than to be in a rambly post, so I am doing to try and write a little something about him soon.