Tag: anger

This 25 year old isn’t your average joe. Having earned his place in the MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) circuit, he has come a long way from being a lanky teenager. At first glance, towering at 6 feet and dressed in a cargo jacket, Farhan Siddiqui looked straight off an army camp, but his jovial demeanor was in stark contrast to his appearance. As we exchange pleasantries and settle down with a cup of coffee, he begins narrating his story with a sudden intensity!

As a kid, Farhan loved to watch WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment) on the television and imitate his favorite wrestler, “The Undertaker”. This fascination with wrestling and combat was what attracted him to MMA. “I observed that the gloves used by MMA fighters were very different than other combat fighters and so was their technique”, says Farhan. Curious to know more about the sport, he convinced his father, who was very much against “ladaai-jhagda”, to let him enrol in a one month MMA class. Having extended the class without his parent’s permission, 3 months into training, Farhan had already fought his first professional fight; which was rare for a student with no prior fight history.

However he says, his turning point was when he fought in the India v/s France match in which he suffered a bloodied defeat. Bruised and broken, he picked up where he left, trained rigorously for 6 months and won the next match he fought in. “That’s where I got my stage name Furious Farhan”, he beams. But with no financial assistance from his family he had to take up day jobs to support his MMA ambitions. From being a salesperson, to a marketeer and a personal fitness trainer in local gyms, Farhan took every job opportunity that came his way. “I would work during the day and train at night without any coaching”, says Farhan.

Despite the hardships, there has been no turning back since his first tryst with the sport. Amidst all this, Farhan has successfully coached 3 national level champions at AIMMAA (All India Mixed Martial Artists Assosiation), trained over 600 women in self defence with the help of TCS (Tata Consultancy Services) and innumerable other clients in the field of Martial Arts and first- hand combat.

When asked on what keeps him going, he says, “My firm belief in the Almighty and my stubbornness to hold on to my dreams!”

A foodie at heart Farhan loves trying out new cuisines as much as he loves travelling. He says, his recent trip to China representing the CFK (Chinese Kung Fu Federation) was the most memorable one yet, but he loves the himalayan ranges and makes it a point to visit them every few years. Farhan also enjoys being in front of the camera. He often films videos of his rehearsals and training sessions for his social media pages. This fascination also got him featured in MTV’s Indies music series. [You can watch the video here: https://youtu.be/siPJV-F1V2I ]

Apart from this, when asked about future plans, he says he wishes to go abroad and join a MMA federation that can support his ambitions. Sighting infinite loopholes in the Indian MMA federations, he says many budding fighters and athletes slip between the cracks due to the apathy on the federation’s part, “The politics in the Indian federation restricts growth of budding fighters, it’s a shame” he adds.

On a positive note, the things that top his list of plans for the future are- fighting 500 matches and becoming the next best Indian featherweight champion in the pound-per-pound category.

“I never thought I’d come this far, but now that I am here, I only want the best there is”, he ends with a determined smile.

For those who want some inspiration to get off your couch and chase your dreams, here’s a video of Farhan’s story to push you: https://goo.gl/nfWRAu

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I have known Farhan for over 5 years now. And throughout the years he has only gotten better at what he does. There aren’t many people who are determined enough to cling onto dreams when it gets tough. Farhan is someone I’ve personally learnt how to be “dheet” (stubborn) and fight for my passion and beliefs. But most of all I think his story is worth listening to!

It hurts so much that you don’t know what to do. The pain blinds you. You can barely remember you’re alive. Yet you walk around with a smile stitched on to your lips. Telling people you’re okay, when you’re not. Crying into your pillows when no one can see you. Tearing away scribbled letters, that were never posted. Typing messages on your phone that will never be sent. Swallowing in the anger, the disappointment. Staring into the sky and hating the stars because all they did was remind you of that one person.

The sight of others in love begins to repel you. Oh and love songs are a big no-no! Some days you feel anger for yourself. How couldn’t you see it coming? What you did wrong? Somedays it’s pity. You feel sorry for yourself. You look into the mirror and you can’t bear to look at yourself without tears streaking your cheeks. Then you begin pushing away the dreams. Burying every last bit of emotion, just so you don’t feel that crushing pain again.

Building walls because you don’t ever want to feel vulnerable again. You cross your heart & train your mind to look away if it gets remotely attached to someone! You slowly turn into the demon that you dreaded all along. You push everyone away because you can’t bear the thought of them leaving too. At your lowest days you wish you had someone, but then you say you’re better off alone. Then one day you stop mourning your loss. It stops hurting as much as it did. You don’t cry thinking about it now. Your words aren’t as bitter.

Somewhere along the line, you begin to forget what it felt like. The love, the care. The way your heart beat when your lips met. Those days that turned into nights endlessly with them by your side. You try to remember why you held that anger, but you can’t quite remember.

Then when we least expect it, comes someone who is patient enough to tear down your walls. To look into your eyes and see all your bruises. To hold you when you aren’t strong enough to face the world alone. Someone who tells you stories and makes you believe in magic again. Someone who’s voice makes you smile in the middle of the night. Someone who pushes you to be your best. Someone who tells you that you are beautiful on your worst days. Just like that, you know you were meant to be. Just like that, it’s all okay.

And just like that, one day you look at the sky, and the stars look beautiful once again! 🙂

The idea of experiencing a perfect setup always seems to scare us. Mostly because we think that they are just fantasies , and however hard we try they cannot come true . And given our busy lives , the thought of these ‘perfect moments ‘ appear to be tedious .But if only for a moment we stepped back , slowed down , took a deep breath and observed a little ;we’l see that these moments are all around us . A perfect moment does not exactly mean a “happy ” moment . They are made up of all those moments when our emotions are inexplicable . When we are so consumed and overwhelmed by the sight of what we see , that we are dumbstruck and short of breadth and words !

It could be when you fall in love and feel the world spin around you …. It could be when you loose a loved one and there is nothing that can console you …It could be when you earn your first salary …..or when you loose everything you have and your whole life feels empty .!

All these times don’t resemble each other in any way .But these are the times when you discover yourself , and see your emotional barriers fade away . These times make you vulnerable again and surrender to the moment . And in spite of any emotion they may evoke , they are complete and full of inspiration . That is why i call them “perfect ”

And here’s a lil poem i wrote to tell you just that ….

PERFECT MOMENTS

Somewhere in this little miserable life of ours ,

Come moments that are priceless;

Moments that define us .

They build around us ‘our’ story , as we know it to be.

These moments need not be out of the ordinary

They need not be compared to definitions of grandeur …

They are hidden in the simplest of things and

They await to be discovered in the midst of everyday burdens .

It could be , when you see the sun go down as you hang by a thread in a Mumbai local !

When you smile at the little girl ,selling roses at the signal ,

Or when you feel the cold wind gush against your face ,through the sunroof of your car .

When you notice wrinkles form around your eyes, but you still ‘know’ you’re beautiful !

When you dance away the night and want to dance some more at dawn .

When tears are the only things that can put you to sleep at night ,

And drowning yourself in work seems the only way to forget….

When you kiss someone for the first time and you feel your lips tremble against theirs

And when seeing that one person smile is all that matters anymore .

When one day you realize that you can speak a million words in silence ,but

A million words fall short of proclaiming the beauty of a moment shared .

These moments make all the difference ,

And a fraction of a second is all it takes to spot these perfect moments.