Hep Me Somebody!

From: "clausen christian ; ma educ" <cclaus1@gl.umbc.edu>

(begin funky synth music)
Hep me somebody.
I feel the claws of the conspiracy closin' round me.
I feel the pink bein' shoved down my throat.
I sinned! I worked! I became a graaaduate student!
Hep me somebody.
I go to the counselor man, he lie to me.
I go to the phynancal aid man, he blow me off.
I go to the teacher, she pump me full o' her conspiracy political correct
lies.
I have siiiinned against the will o' "Bob"
Hep me somebody.
I gave up my slack
All of my slack
When I become a grad student man.
-A grad student man get no slack, no way, no how.
Musta been crazy the day I become a grad student man!
Hep me somebody.
Amen! Hallelujah!
Gotta get me some dynamite, and bloooow that grad school up,
Gotta get me some matches, and burn that graduate school down!
Can I get a witness?
(insert response here)
Kill me brother/sister!
Hallelujah!
Praise Slack! Praise Bob! Praise "Lightbulb Head"
Hep me somebody!