Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Well, here we are almost to the conclusion of another season of Big Brother. So what did my readers think of this year’s show? Personally, I had problems with a few of the production decisions. The “high school clique” angle was a disaster; allowing a former cast member to return was also terrible; and they never did touch on the “green” angle that was a part of the pre-show publicity. Most of the competitions were also a bit lacking. It’s a sad state that the best games were those that we’d seen before.

I hate to admit to this, but the feeds were also a bit lacking this season. A good portion of this cast did little more than sleep away the day, and when they were awake they just rehashed the same conversations over and over. Even when there was action, this skewed sleep schedule made it so all of the good stuff happened in the middle of the night.

Having said that, though, the CBS broadcasts were a giant leap over previous seasons. This was mainly due to the timing of what little action that did occur. Blowouts after nominations and POV competitions ensured that the Tuesday show was generally more action-packed than usual, and the twists and backdoor evictions also created livelier Thursday shows than usual. (It also helps the hour-long broadcasts when a good portion of the house is just a half-step away from being certifiable lunatics.)

Surprisingly, the real star of this season was Julie Chen! It pains me to say this, as I’ve long said she’s the weakest link of the show, but she came alive this season. Maybe it was the hormones kicking in, but she was not the Chenbot we’ve seen in past years (or on The Early Show). She was very quick-witted this year, and for once didn’t seem content to let B.S. statements just sit there. I hope the post-pregnancy version next year is as vibrant as she was this season.

Speaking of the Chenbot, let’s get this show on the road! Ugh, enough with the “first time ever” garbage. Keeping a third person to the finale is not an earth-shattering change. Oh, how I’ve missed Laura’s tatas! Otherwise, the season recap is unnecessary. Wait, Braden was one of Jessie’s biggest threats? Oh God! Blah blah blah, alliance, coup d-etat, blah blah blah, Chima is nuts, blah blah blah, “last minute lie“, Jeff‘s betrayed, blah blah blah. Let’s get to the good stuff!Ok, here we go. Ooooh, Jordan looks fantastic tonight! Ugh, we have to proceed with the final three hanging out in the house this past weekend. I don’t know how they can make this sound exciting. But we begin with Julie’s announcement that she won the second round of the HOH competition. Jordan, of course, is excited. “I’m so excited!” Kevin is also excited, as that means “Natalie is no longer a part of the equation.” He feels confident that Jordan would take him to the finals.Natalie, obviously, is not so happy, and says she has to spend these days convincing both of them to carry her to the finals. Um, judging by what I saw on the live feeds you didn’t do that great of a job sucking up to them. She heads into the bedroom with a deck of cards, and is joined by Kevin. “I hope if you win, you stick with the deal and take me. I don’t know why, (but) I just feel like you’ll go with her.” Kevin says he believes “the bitch” (Jordan) would take her instead of him. Kevin says he just wants to relax and enjoy being in the final three, but says in the diary room that Natalie is indeed correct in her assessment that Kevin won’t be taking her if he gets that choice. “I just hope I can trust you”, says Natalie.We next see Natalie being called into the diary room, and Kevin asks if Jordan is on board with going together to the finals. She tells him not to worry, but is worried that Kevin won’t take her to the finals. “1000 percent, if I get the choice, I’ll take you.” He goes to describe how taking Natalie is a guaranteed second, and at least with Jordan he has a chance. Jordan, though, says in the diary room that she’s going to take Natalie if she wins. Ohnoes!!!It’s now dark out, and Kevin is heading outside with a blanket. Natalie wants to play pool, but instead kisses up to Jordan by saying that she hopes they keep in contact after the show. Come on, Jordan can’t really believe that! Natalie claims that Jordan is just like one of her girlfriends back home. Yeah, sure. They both claim that if evicted, they’ll fight for the other in the jury. Jordan says in the diary room that her final two deal with Natalie is “genuine”. God, I hope Kevin wins the final round!Kevin is now sitting outside contemplating if he has a chance against either girl, and confides this thought to Natalie when she comes outside. He thinks his only hope is if Jeff decides to vote for him, even though he evicted him. It turns out into a pity party, though, as both of them talk about how the jury hates them. “People vote personally, Kevin.” Natalie does stick her foot in her mouth, though, when she says that if she’s evicted she’s voting for Jordan. This (supposedly) causes Kevin’s head to jerk back towards Natalie. Kevin still thinks he’s playing for second place, even though he’s played the best out of all of them. Ok, I’m done with this segment, and luckily we quickly head to commercials.When we return, we go to Julie’s interview with the house. She asks Kevin what BB has taught him about himself. He says that it has taught him to have more confidence in himself. Natalie is then asked what she’ll miss the most of the house. “I’m going to miss living with 12 people.” Julie follow up with “all 12”? Good one. Jordan is then asked about being away from home for the longest time in her life, and after a customary “oh gosh”, she says she learned “patience with everyone”, and that she’s a “grown girl”. Now it’s time for Michelle’s entrance to the jury house. It begins with a cheesecake shot of Jeff for the ladies, and he says that after a couple of uncomfortable days he’s enjoying his stay. As they’re all playing pool, Jeff jokes that they should “wait for Kevin”. Lydia asks who Russell thinks will be next, and he answers Kevin. Lydia wants it to be Michelle, and Jeff says “raise your hand if you think whatever Jessie thinks”. Jeff’s on fire tonight! Lydia returns the joke that it may be Jordan, but Jeff thinks he’s safe. Russell adds that he really doesn’t want to see Michelle enter the jury.Cue to the view of the limo pulling up, and it’s the standard response as Michelle enters. Jessie’s excited, but Jeff says it’s shocking. Michelle fills them in on how she was evicted, and Michelle fills them in on the second Pandora’s Box. Lydia’s responds to the engagement with “who cares?” Jeff asks if Natalie’s boyfriend is a tool. Lydia now likes Jeff…and so does most of America. Michelle is then filled in on the age lie, but Michelle claims that she’s known that from the beginning, and she says that Natalie’s reputation in the jury house has gone downhill.They then watch the video, and Lydia retches when they hear Natalie claim she won HOH by sticking to her word. They also roll their eyes at Natalie’s ridiculous nomination getup. Trust me, when Lydia makes fun of your costume, you’re in trouble. Oh God, I’m loving this. Jeff says the costume alone will make him not vote for her. “I hope Jordan takes her out”, Lydia adds. Wow, even Jessie says he’d “even” vote for Michelle over Natalie for the prize money!We return from commercials to a shot of Natalie’s family in the audience, and we head to the jury meeting. Well, we kind of already saw that in the last segment, but this one is the overly-staged version. Russell points out that the three left in the house are not the hardest players in the house, so they should consider voting on how they interacted. He says that he never talked to Natalie, but Jeff counters that he never talked to Kevin. Um, you did one week, and it screwed you. Jeff thinks it’s a tossup, and then it just goes around and around for a bit. Jeff points out that Kevin wasn’t always so sweet, and Jeff blows up at Lydia. “Get in your spaceship.” Jessie says that Kevin and Natalie both played a lot better than Jordan, but Jeff responds that they had a lot of chances to eliminate her. Lydia counters that she did stay in the house longer than Jeff. Russell says Jordan’s best move was to attach herself to Jeff, but otherwise she had no power moves. Ok, the Lydia and Jeff show is getting tiring. “She was your little marionette that danced when you told her to.” Jeff again throws it back at her that she does whatever Jessie instructs her to do, which angers Jessie. “Play your strings, N’sync”, Jeff replies. Russell moves the conversation on to Natalie, but says she “fell onto her strategy by mistake”. Michelle says she just attached herself to stronger players until they were gone. Jessie claims that Natalie didn’t persuade him to do anything he did. Jeff doesn’t think she deserves to be in the finals at all, and of course Jessie has to flex when Jeff throws a compliment his way.

After all of this, Lydia suggests that they should just wait and see how this plays out. I agree. Michelle adds that Kevin was great at moving misinformation around to benefit him. Jessie then out of the blue says his happiest day was seeing Jeff enter the jury house, and his second happiest day was seeing Michelle come in. She goes on to sort of agree with Lydia that they need to wait until they hear from the final two, and Lydia smartly adds that they need to be aware that the final two are going to kiss their asses to get their vote. Thankfully, we have come to the close of the jury discussion.So here we go with the final HOH competition, and it’s questions about the jury members. Kevin looks nervous. The first question is what Jessie thought was the best part of the house, and Kevin correctly guesses that it’s the ladies. The second question is about what annoyed Lydia the most, and this time Jordan guesses that it’s Jeff’s coup d’etat.Russell is the subject of the third question, and again Jordan is correct! Jeff’s question is about his fatal mistake, and this time Kevin is correct. It’s now 2-2, going into the final question about Michelle. They both have the same correct answer, so it’s tie breaker time. Uh oh, it’s a number question. This doesn’t look good for Jordan. The question is how many votes to evict have been cast this season, and Jordan looks confused while Kevin is actually calculating. Jordan guesses 50, and Kevin’s guess is 80. The correct answer is 51, and Jordan is the final HOH!!!

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