I'll eat up all your crackers and your licorice

100 Words about Baseball

Why I Love Baseball

There is no clock
90 feet between bases is genius
There are secret signs
Hanging curveballs are sexy
Numbers are magic: 755, 56, 7, 61, 1.12
Tinker to Evers to Chance
Ivy at Wrigley
The Green Monster
The suicide squeeze
Cracker Jack
Walt Whitman liked it
Jackie Robinson and Pee-Wee Reese
It just feels American
The seventh-inning stretch
Superstition
Guys in tight pants
Bull Durham
Centerfield
There’s no crying in baseball
Cooperstown
A great play at the plate
Chatter
Pepper
High socks
Tradition
Spring training
Keeping score
The rubber game
The infield fly rule
162 chances

Become a Fan

May 2005

Day 3 was much better. I finally woke Alex up at about 10:15am, fed him some breakfast and then got us dressed to go to the playground, only to discover that the digital camera was dead. Started juicing it up while Alex rode his tricycle and tested me by continuing to ride it just off the edge of the driveway and onto the street. Each time he'd give me that innocent "is she watching this" look and when I told him to get back up on the driveway or the sidewalk, he'd get off, haul the trike behind him and proclaim "it was an accident." I don't know who he thinks he's fooling.

So, camera charged up some, we headed to the playground, which was a sea of small humanity. ("The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man, trying to send soup back at a deli.") Alex split his time between giving me ulcers as he climbed the arched ladder up to the slide (I have to remind myself that I can't hold his hand forever) and playing in the sandbox. Two photos:

In the one on the left, I'm struck by the fact that he looks like a little boy now. Not a baby. Where did my baby go? (no, I do not have baby lust) Incidentally, the Canon Powershot performed really well in very bright conditions. I expected these photos to be very washed out given that it was about 12:30 or so.

Next we went to what might have been the most attractively decorated McDonald's, ever. I'm not sure when this location was remodeled, but I was mildly impressed. And that's saying something. I would have appreciated the surroundings much more if there were wireless signals floating through the air. I thought all their locations were wifi-ed now. Hrmph. An elderly couple sat at the booth next to us and as they got up to leave, brought over a stack of paper, asking if Alex wanted some pictures. Before I had a chance to say "boo", they walked away, leaving a stack of 20 or so sheets, each with a picture printed or taped to it -- animals, aerial shots of farms, images of paintings, one of a group of Santas waiting for the subway...a hodge-podge of images. I have no idea what that was all about.

Next we went to Starbucks for chai and purple chair goodness. You see, when you are Alex, the purple couch at Starbucks is apparently the end all, be all. Unfortunately, the purple couch was occupado, so the purple chair had to suffice. For the record, while the people seated on the coveted purple couch were thoroughly charmed by Alex's impromptu concert of "Jingle Bells", they weren't giving up their seats.

Next came a trip to the grocery store and finally we went back home, only to discover that the one thing I'd meant to go buy today was the one thing I forgot -- yoga blocks. Schlepped self and child to Target for said blocks. More on what a con that is later.

And now I'm going to perform that ritual that all good women do the night before seeing their gynecologist. I'm going to paint my toenails.

When do you eat it? And how often? Hit and miss -- I'll go for stretches with very little cereal consumption, then eat it every day for a while.

What are your favorite cereals?
All sorts -- I will confess that I like kid cereals like Apple Jacks and Frosted Flakes. I lalso love Frosted Mini Wheats, all the varieties of Chex, but especially the wheat, Kellogg Complete Bran flakes, and Smart Start (the antioxidant one). Oh, and Lucky Charms. They're magically delicious.

What kind will you not eat?

Grape Nuts. Anything that is obstensibly cookie-like.

What is the secret favorite that you don’t always admit?
See question 1.

What liquid do you pour on your cereal?
2% milk unless we're out, then I skab some of Alex's whole milk.

What do you put on top of your cereal? Ick, nothing.

Do you prefer cereal or other foods for breakfast?
I think I prefer cereal, but I also like eggs. And bacon. And crispy waffles. And pancakes.

Do you have any cereal-related rituals or other oddities? The less sweet the cereal, the less likely I am to eat it with milk. When I eat Frosted Mini Wheats, I pour a bowl of milk and then put one piece of the cereal in at a time so that it doesn't get soggy. Soggy cereal is revolting.

Let me just start by saying that I am 87 different kinds of hungry. I didn't realize it until just this moment, at 5:38 as I'm at Starbucks, sipping some chai and watching the Small, Dirty One eat some lemon pound cake. I don't know how I managed to not eat anything all day. This morning I didn't feel so hot when I woke up (no, I'm not, but thanks for asking) and drank a very small glass of Coke. (Okay, it was C2, actually.) I was, um, busy and somehow forgot to eat breakfast. Later, when it might have occurred to me to eat, I got inspired to take Alex to see "Madagascar" and we had to rush to make the 2pm show. I planned on grabbing some popcorn there, but, as I said, we were late, and I hate to miss the previews, even at a kids' movie.

An aside...there was a preview for an animated movie coming out in Fall 2006. That is not a typo. 2006. What. The. Fuck.

Anyhow, movie was cute enough -- nothing to write home about. Next on the agenda...yet another motorcycle. Alex is usually a Target kind of kiddo (it cracks people up when he says "Mommy, can we go to Target, pleeeeease??"), but today he wanted to go to Wal-Mart to get the blue motorcycle that Mean Mommy (tm) didn't get for him last time we were there and he didn't behave. Not only did he get the blue motorcycle, he got M&Ms. Then we went to The Crossings of Colonie, an awesome community center/park deal. They have a huge playground, a lake, walking trails, and orchard and even a pasture with cows. Alex had a ball going down one slide 4000 times and then wanted to go see the fountains (which he pronounced "bluish clear"), so we walked over and I suggested we sit down on the grass. After we sat down, he sighed and said, "This is a great spot." My sentiments exactly, kiddo.

So now we're in Starbucks and he's chowing down on some lemon pound cake (hrm, he should eat some real food as he hasn't had anything since his grilled cheese at earlish-lunchtime) and I'm starving. I should do something about that...

First of all, how many blog entries each day start out with something like "Dear Microsoft" and then go on to rant?

Okay, here's my contribution to what is undoubtedly a large body of work in this field...

Dear Microsoft,

I might possibly be more upset over what I'm about to say if I had actually shelled out $350 of my own money. Instead, yesterday, Tech Guy received the company-purchased software upgrade and installed one on my computer.

I just have two questions. What was wrong with the handy little field in the Task view in Outlook? I liked that I could just click on the field and begin typing a new task. I do not see having to mouse allllll the way over to the top left corner of my screen to click the "new" button as an improvement. These are milliseconds of my life that I'm never getting back.

Also, with regard to your "Junk Mail folder. There are only 2 options for automatic filtering -- one with a threshold so low that it filters almost nothing, and one with a threshold so high that I constantly have to check the folder and retrieve valuable correspondence. How about a "medium" option, folks? You have approximately 87 billion IQ points on your org chart -- I'm thinking you can figure that one out. And, when I do get spam in my inbox and I use the handy "block sender" option, it would be nice if Outlook deleted the message. Instead, it just shuffles it over to the Junk Mail folder, where I have to deal with it all over again. I could set it to auto-delete, but then I'd run the risk of deleting important work email that gets trapped in the "filter."

One final comment -- do you really think that I can't tell the difference between mail from "today" and from "yesterday" by simply looking at the "received on" date? Do I really need my mail lumped into these categories? (Buzzzz, the answer is "no." Thank you for playing, though.)

Let me first say that I have not forsaken Britney. (Or, I should say, "Baby One More Time" -- it's really just that song, not Britney. I promise.) But I do tend to believe if it makes me happy, if it makes me want to sing out loud, if it makes me want to get up and dance, it's a good song. It might be a really infectious melody or a catchy hook or just something in the right range so I can sing it and pretend that I sound half-way decent, but I am proud to call any number of songs favorites. Let others have their musical elitism. I'll be over there on the dance floor.

Anyhow, the lastest song to catch my ear is "Ice, Ice Baby." Such a horrible song -- god, I love it. I mean, who wouldn't love lyrics like "quick to the point, to the point no fakin', cookin' MCs like a pound of bacon"? And that beat...so...original. (I still remember him performing the song on SNL and they went to the news afterwards and Dennis Miller said, "God, I love Bowie.")

Anyhow...there is one bit that confuses me. He says "cause my style's like a chemical spill." Is that, like, a good thing?

As Alex eats an ice cream cone, I will sometimes say to him (as I just did a few minutes ago), "Baby, let me fix that for you." Then I help myself to some of it to <ahem> neaten it up so he doesn't make too big a mess.

As we walked into school this morning, a motorcycle passed by. Alex, nearly skipping with joy, said, "Mommy, what color was the motorcycle?" In all honesty I hadn't really noticed, so I said that I didn't know and asked him to tell me.

"It was kinda whitish."

Whitish. My kid says the funniest things.

When we arrived, his class playgroup (they're divided into turtles and ducks -- Alex is a turtle) were already in the indoor gym, so we went down there. His new favorite thing to do in the gym is ride on one of the ride-on toys (they are motorcycles in his head, of course), but when we arrived, all of them were occupied. But then one of the Zacharys rode up, scooted forward on the seat and said, "You can hop on with me, Alex!" And Alex did. :) They were zipping all around the gym when I left, and Alex's giggles followed me out the door. I so often worry about whether Alex's peers with accept him and his differentness, and these little moments are so precious and reassuring.