Stuff You Don't Care About But Will Help You Get Laid

Hello lovers. I bet you were sitting around wishing someone would show you some naked pictures of Angelina Jolie from when she was 16, right?

Well here they are, my friends! Personally I find these to be pretty tame for a lady who likes to wear viles of blood around her neck. But still, how many of you can claim that your mom posed naked as a teen and then just got hotter with age? I thought not. [Egotastic]

Britney is allegedly on her way toward a comeback because she stopped drinking 10 gallons of sugar a day and is now like, totally into wearing a bra. I change my sheets once every four months, does that make me special? [WWTDD]

Yes, these are glorious pictures of some dude whose sole job is serving as Gisele's ass fluffer. But I'm a straight chick and therefore all I care about are the awful clothes she's modeling. Ripped ass shorts? Really? [IDLYITW]

Beyonce and Jay-Z are allegedly getting married tomorrow. These two are crazy in love! They've got 99 problems but a wedding ain't one! Can you pay my automo-bills? Nevermind. [IDLYITW]

Hills she-devil Heidi Montag has endorsed John McCain, who in turn has endorsed her fake boobs. Everybody wins! [HollywoodTuna]
Supermodel Naomi Campbell was arrested for freaking out on an airplane, allegedly because one of her carry-ons didn't make it on the jet. She was probably just upset because no one knows who she is anymore. Sorry 1992! [WWTDD]

Finally a sex tape that both me AND Marilyn Manson can enjoy, thanks to sexy burlesquer ( and the former Mrs. Manson), Dita Von Teese. [IDLYITW]

Wanna see what happens when a 60 year old woman with a big ego and even bigger fake breasts goes to the beach? Click here. [CelebSlam]

Anne Hathaway is too boring to write about, but her fucked up boyfriend isn't! Her Italian lover was arrested on Thursday for bouncing a $250,000 check. Now that's amore! [DListed]

And finally, Jerry Seinfeld is a-okay after the brakes in his vintage Fiat gave out while he was behind the wheel. Some may blame the faulty breaks, we blame Newman. [DListed]