Saturday, October 29, 2011

1. I am 22 years old, and a cisgendered female in a very happy relationship with another woman.

2. My girlfriend and I have amazing sex that almost always results in orgasm(s).

3. I hate the word lesbian and use "queer" if I have to label myself. Gay is my favorite term.

4. My first relationship and sexual experiences were with my high school boyfriend. I broke up with him after nearly a year, when we were both in college.

5. The first time he felt my breasts, I didn’t even notice. We were looking at the stars in the back of his pickup truck and when I asked him how high on my chest he felt, he said "to your sternum." I was disappointed that I didn’t feel anything.

6. I told him flat out I wouldn’t have sex with him, and refused to go down on him, although he went down on me once. When I mentally compared my desire for penis vs. vagina, I started to accept that maybe I really was more into girls.

7. I hooked up with a few guys during college, mostly after dancing with them. I find dancing incredibly sexy.

8. I came out junior year of college, and wish I had done so earlier, because I was suddenly a hot item among the ladies, gay and straight, on campus. Sometimes I imagine the sexual possibilities I might have missed out on.

9. I hardly remember the first time I had sex with a woman. I was black-out drunk and we did it outside on a campus athletic field. I think this is unfortunate, but can’t say I truly regret it.

10. I love to be dominated in bed. Nothing gets me more excited than when my girlfriend takes charge, pins my hands against the wall, and fucks me roughly. I’ve suggested handcuffs, and she suggested a dildo, but we haven’t done it… yet.

11. I love eating pussy and especially when she grabs my hair and screams.

12. I have a fetish for wet and messy play. I’ve never told anybody.

13. I discovered porn when I was in sixth or seventh grade, and have always preferred gay men going at it. I think I’m drawn to the aggression.

14. Around the same time, I began devising elaborate plots to get my female friends to pie me in the face. It turned me on, but I didn’t realize I was being turned on. I remember examining my underwear to see if I was wet. It was soaked.

15. Later, I discovered masturbation with the help of the bathtub, after innocently thinking to wash my vagina extra well since I was on my period. I thought I was having sex the first time.

16. I was raised Lutheran and have overcome more than a few ingrained religious qualms to become the sex-positive person I am today, minus the religion.

17. I would love to get fucked with a strap-on.

18. I masturbate a lot. Sometimes just to sleep, I usually don’t put that much effort into it. I never have trouble reaching orgasm, but in extremely high-stress situations, I can’t come.

19. When I’m really turned on, my saliva tastes different. This only happens with my girlfriend. I like it.

21. After I told my dad about my girlfriend, he advised me to wait for sex (too late, I thought) because he and mom had waited until marriage. Why would I wait for sex if I can’t legally get married where I live?

22. The first time my girlfriend really fucked me, I had asked her to do it, then got overwhelmed and had to stop. I was a little disappointed, but it was actually a really intimate experience.

23. I want to cut my hair short, but have been nervous about the associations that come with it. I think I’m going to do it this fall.

24. I am really turned on by the idea of people coming on each other, although I hate the traditional porn style man-comes-on-woman’s face. I’d like to make my girlfriend ejaculate all over me.

25. I want sex more frequently than my girlfriend. If she bites when we make out, then I know it’s on.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

1. I am a 29 year old female biologically, though I identify as genderqueer. I am not butch, or femme, but rather I dance all over gender lines whenever I feel like it and therefore think queer is the best term.

2. I was molested by two different people growing up. One was a boy who lived downstairs from me when I was eight. The other was a man who moved in with my mother and me when I was eleven. I can forgive the boy. I think he was hurt by someone, and he was only twelve. I can never forgive the man. I made a secret account on Facebook of a girl who was seriously underage and looked him up to see if he was still a pervert. He made a big show of saying how we couldn't talk like that "officially" and how that shit always got him in trouble. I'll never forgive him.

3. I first consented to sex when I was fifteen. I didn't have an orgasm during sex until I was twenty-three. I spent eight years thinking I was broken. I still have only had one orgasm during sex when I wasn't on top.

4. My sexual fantasies often feature incest, abuse, or molestation scenarios. I used to hate myself for that and think I must have wanted it. I have since read a lot of shit that says that's the healthiest way for a mind to cope with that level of abuse. I often read very depraved stories, but I always look for sites with disclaimers about how it's all fiction. Anything else turns my stomach.

5. I often fantasize about having a penis. I bought a sex toy that seats inside with one end and protrudes like an attached cock, and I love it. Sometimes I jerk it off until I come with the base of it mashing my clit.

6. My first boyfriend would routinely ask me, before giving oral sex, if I'd taken a shower that day, and if I had taken one recently enough. Since then I've never really gotten over it. I don't much like receiving oral sex. It induces too much anxiety about taste and smell, and only one or two boyfriends have ever overcome it enough to make it comfortable.

7. I hate sleeping in a bed with someone about 90% of the time. Every once in a long time it's okay, but I often have nightmares or freak out about someone touching me in my sleep due to the early shit in my life.

8. I find the notion of impregnation to be incredibly sensual and hot, but actually tend to fantasize about it from the male perspective.

9. I hate the smell of semen leaking out of me. It smells horrible, far worse than coming out of a penis, and far worse than I ever smell. I resent that men think that smell is a woman's fault. It's theirs.

10. When someone says the word, "rape," I tense up. It's not because I'm experiencing flashbacks or starting to freak out. It's because I don't want them to know my secrets and I'm afraid they can tell. Sometimes it's because they're using the word so casually that I get nauseous.

11. Almost all of my sex life is online with someone I love. I don't have healthy sexual relationships. I tend to be really sexual for a few months. Then something happens and we don't have sex for a while. Then they bring it up in an accusing way, and I never want to touch them again.

12. I once masturbated in the pew of a church. Just to be perverse. It was during a service.

13. I love gay erotic photos. I'm not very fond of gonzo, super tan, daddy spank twink type porn. I like the realistic ones that are actual couples, and not airbrushed. I especially love nudes of men that look vulnerable or ecstatic.

14. I have come to the understanding that with my genderqueer outlook, there are some men I am attracted to, and some men I admire and want to be like. Too often, I date people I admire and want to be like instead of people I'm attracted to. It's hardest to tell with men, because I'm not a man. With women I can tell better. I can relate what I wish I could look like, and realize I just admire her like a portrait or a sculpture. With men it's more dangerous. I've nearly married a man who I wasn't attracted to.

15. My first sexual experience was not the molestation. Or rather, it happened right around then. I messed around playing doctor with a young boy my age. It was probably the only thing that saved me from thinking sex was a vile abusive world of shit. I gave my first blowjob around that age, though it wasn't very extensive.

16. I was once incredibly impressionable and would do things like grow my hair out and wear it long for years because cute guys told me it would look hot. Funny, none of them ever wanted me when it was long. I was still some annoying idiot to them or something, and then I was apparently a moron too. I no longer care, and often stubbornly choose my own way even when I might've compromised before.

17. I have dealbreakers when I date someone I'm attracted to. People say you have to compromise. But there are things I don't compromise on anymore. Gay marriage should be a right, oral sex on women is not "gross," no one gets to tell me to shave my legs but me, and my gender is still paid 30% less than men and that sucks.

18. I'm polyamorous. That's by choice, because I don't want to be solely responsible for one person's sexuality. I shouldn't be anyway. It bothers me that many men and some women think that once you're in a relationship, they're "owed" release regularly in order to stay in a relationship. So I'm poly, because if he/she can get it somewhere else, I can tell them no. It's a poor substitute for actual sexual rights and agency, but it works.

19. I have been in threesomes with 8 different couples. This came mostly from being "the bi open chick" in a social circle. Of all of those couples, only one couple ever made me feel welcome and loved for who I was. I still sleep with them sometimes, 7 years later. I don't even see any of the other couples, but none of them are still together. I think there's some link there.

20. I have a refractory period. Boasting assholes inevitably say, "Oh, I could make you multiple orgasm!" and I tend to say, "You could try, and I'd kick you in the face." My pussy gets too sensitive to touch for about five minutes after I come, and only something inside it is okay, not something on my clit. It takes about ten minutes all told to be able to start working on an orgasm again, minimum. Usually I need a lot more stimulation. I have never come more than once in one 'session' with a partner, ever.

21. I have had the most mindblowing sex of my life by pretending to be asleep in a planned out scene with someone I trusted. It wasn't planned in advance - just an idea we had on the spot. We often roleplayed incest or sleep abuse. I usually came incredibly hard.

22. I like semi-soft penises. The feeling of the softer skin curling and pushing into me as I rock and squeeze makes me come like nothing else. I often come after the guy because they let me keep riding them.

23. I first masturbated when I was five. I didn't know I was masturbating. I would put things in my pants and rock on the floor alone in my room.

24. I'm really good at giving head. Men or women. While I have had bad experiences with smell or taste, I never, ever say a word. My own experience tells me they'll never recover from it.

25. I don't shave my legs unless I feel like it, and any man who doesn't like that can go fuck himself. He sure won't be fucking me.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

2. I have fallen in love a few times, but the moment I try to imagine anyone in a sexual way, my brain shuts off and with it goes my attraction.

3. Over the past year I’ve realized that I am asexual, and I only feel comfortable with that label because I know that I’m not straight or gay.

4. Everyone thinks I’m a lesbian, especially my lesbian friends. A few have hinted that they’re waiting for me to come out. When I told one of them that I was asexual, hoping for solidarity, she paused and said, “Just stick with ‘queer.’”

5. I don’t feel that anything is missing from my life because I don’t have sex. I don’t feel like a social outcast, though other people seem to think I must be.

6. I’ve kissed/slightly made out with three men, all technically boyfriends. All three tried to take things further, and thankfully, all three stopped when I told them I wasn’t comfortable. I liked kissing, and them, very much but did not feel the need to move beyond that. As a result, I think I was thought of as a tease. I wish I could have explained to them what I know now. I haven’t been kissed in six years. Strangely, two of those three men went on to experiment with their gender and their sexual orientation and told me that it was my encouragement of their feminine sides that helped them to do so.

7. I fell in love with a married man. He doesn’t know that I’m asexual. When I told him that I thought my feelings for him were inappropriate, he told me that he is in an open marriage. We live in different countries but met in person, corresponding regularly in between the times we saw each other in person. He told me about his open marriage via anonymous email, which made me doubt the truthfulness of it. It was a year ago and I was so stunned that I never wrote back. We never talk about ourselves now, because I don't like knowing that he's "allowed" to have feelings for me. I worry about what would happen if I saw him again.

8. Four different married men, not including the one from #7, have told me that if they weren’t married they would want to be in a relationship with me. All of them were friends, and I felt very embarrassed by their admissions. I don’t know why I attract married men.

9. I’m physically disabled. I feel that this has no bearing whatsoever on my sexuality, but I know that most people wouldn’t agree. When I told my mother that I was asexual, she said, “That makes sense to me. I think it’s because of your intelligence.” I don’t think there’s a correlation, but her reaction made me happy. I haven’t told anyone else in my family, nor do I see a reason to.

10. When I find myself attracted to someone in a physical way, it’s always in an aesthetically evaluative way and is usually limited to their face and the overall balance of their bodies. Beautiful people to me are like works of art – I’d never want to have sex with a sculpture.

11. I literally have no concept of what it means for someone to have a “nice ass” or “nice tits”. Whenever my friends start talking about those things I just laugh. I’ve never checked out anyone’s ass before, and boobs are boobs to me.

12. I masturbate, but the need to do so feels entirely biological, there’s not really anything that triggers it. I don’t really think of anything, just go until I orgasm. I love the feeling, but it’s not anything that leaves me wishing for a partner. It just is.

13. I have nothing against dating, but I think there is an inherent sexual expectation built into it, so I avoid it. I wouldn’t be opposed to dating a woman, but women who don’t have an interest in sex are just as hard to find as men who don’t have an interest in sex. One of my friends has repeatedly asked me out, and I have repeatedly turned him down. I’m afraid that if I tell him, “I don’t have sexual feelings for people” he would think I was bullshitting him. Instead, I just tell him that I don’t date anyone, which isn’t a lie.

14. I fall in love regularly with people I will never meet, either because they are famous or because they’re dead and famous. I learn all that I can about them but would probably never say a word to them if I saw them in person.

15. Most of my family assumes that no one is interested in me sexually, and not that it's the other way around.

16. My female friends all come to me for sexual and relationship advice. None of them know that I’ve never had sex, but they still love my advice. Surprisingly, many of them tell me that they wish they could be as “strong” as I am, and not have to be in a relationship.

17. Contrary to what people might think, it doesn’t gross me out that other people have sex. People can have sex all day long, it’s just not something I want or need in my own life.

18. I get hit on quite often by women, but I never know how to respond. My biggest worry when it comes to dodging flirtations is inadvertently leading someone on.

19. Four years before one of my friends discovered that she was bisexual, I remembered lying on the floor with her with the distinct feeling that she wanted to make a move. When she told me recently that she was attracted to women, I told her that I had always known, but didn’t tell her why.

20. I’ve come out to very few friends, but one of them was a lesbian. I was staying with her overnight and her bed was big enough that I felt we could share it and stay out of each other’s way. I didn’t think that just because she was gay that it would mean she’d want to try something with me, any more than I would suspect it of any of my other friends. An hour later, I came back into her room after going to the bathroom and found her lying in bed in her underwear. She asked me if I was bothered by it and I wasn’t. When we woke up the next morning she told me I was the only person she had ever shared a bed with who didn’t annoy her.

21. I know that there are other asexual people in the world, but I don’t feel like I need to actively look for them. I feel, for some reason, that if I met anyone else who was, I’d suspect them of lying. I don’t know what makes me feel so suspicious because that’s not my nature at all, but I hate it.

22. In spite of being both disabled and asexual, I don’t hate my body or find myself unattractive. For some reason, this too surprises people.

23. I have watched porn before, because I wanted to see what the big deal was. It all seems so fake to me that I can’t possibly imagine how people feel anything at all from it. That said, I feel very uncomfortable watching movies with sex scenes in them if there are other people in the room.

24. I am not embarrassed by/of being naked in front of other people, nor does other people's nudity embarrass me. I feel that sexual perception varies for each person, and that there is nothing inherently sexual written into the naked form.

25. In spite of my own asexuality, I am frustrated by everyone's need to find the place where they belong, sexually. I wish that everyone could just accept their feelings for what they are, and join up with others who share the same feelings. I wish we had a world without labels, but maybe that's just because I feel alienated from all sexual communities. I read through many posts here before deciding to submit my own, and I just hope that everyone learns to love themselves.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Administrative note: We're back! Did you miss us? Sorry to have been absent--long story. We've got a little backlog to get through, but now would be an excellent time to send us your list if you haven't yet.

1. I’m a nearly 20-year-old, mostly straight female who has had 3 sexual partners and has masturbated daily for the last 10 years.

2. My first sexual partner, N, was during my first year at university and he was a random guy who looked at me funny in an elevator. We had sex every day, three times a day for an entire month. Because of him, I don’t have an awful “first time” story to tell. He made sure I came 4 or 5 times every time we had sex and always made me feel sexy. I ended things because I got bored with his penchant for vanilla sex.

3. My second sexual partner, B, was a 26-year-old guy I met outside of a bar. I was sitting on the curb, recently kicked out and stinking drunk, and he was standing about 10 yards away from me yelling at a homeless man. He stopped what he was doing, looked at me, and said, “You have the biggest tits I have ever seen and a pretty face. I’d like to get to know you.” We had sex for 10 months, a couple of times a week. The sex was amazing (see: AMAZING) and strings-free, but I developed feelings and he didn’t. Things ended officially, but I get texts about once a week begging for one more chance.

4. The last time I had sex with B, I gave him a 45 minute rim job and prostate massage (his first--most likely something to do with his macho hockey player personality). He had a prostate orgasm, where his cock leaked cum and he came for what felt like an hour. He proceeded to propose to me and tell me about how great it was. He didn’t remember it the next morning because he was so fucked up on MDMA. His loss. It felt awesome to do.

5. The first blowjob I ever gave was when I was 15. Three friends of mine came over to my house after school (two male, one female) and we coupled off and gave the boys head. At one point, us two girls were going down on one guy at once. I don’t regret the experience; I just regret my choice of partners. I don’t talk to any of them anymore.

6. I used to play sadistic role-playing games with my dolls as a child. My best friend and I would create elaborate sexual circumstances for our dolls. For instance, I have a vivid memory of a kinky Cinderella gone wild storyline. A young girl was forced to clean and serve her sisters and mother while naked, and they then watched and orchestrated as she had sex with the male dolls. We then recreated these games in real life. My only memory of this is standing on a stool in the middle of my bedroom, completely naked, spinning in a circle while my best friend laughed and told me to bend over. It doesn’t turn me on to think about now, but the grown up, depersonalized version is the subject of many of my masturbatory fantasies.

7. I think my rape fetish is the most taboo aspect of my sexuality. Relinquishing control has always been a sexy thing to me, but the idea of being hurt and violated in that way is something that turns me on more than anything. Sometimes I wonder how I would react if I were to be genuinely raped. Part of me thinks it would be different because I wouldn’t actually want it, but a quieter (yet larger) part of me thinks I would enjoy it because a major part of my fetish is the “not enjoying it” part.

8. As a curvier girl I have my fair share of qualms about my body, but I’ve never found them to inhibit me while having sex. Granted, I’ve never been with a self-proclaimed “BBW lover”, so that’s something I would love to experience. That way, I can leave my trusty black tank top on the floor (usually worn around my waist for camouflage) and have my tummy rubbed and kissed.

9. I masturbate daily. At least. I have been known to take the day off of school or work to lie in bed and make myself come 15 or 20 times in a day. I go through orgasm withdrawals in the form of migraines if I go several days without coming. Nothing makes me feel better than a good rub-off.

10. I have never had a man give me an orgasm of his own accord, but I have multiple orgasms during sex. I know the majority of sex is good communication, but I compare my masturbation practices to that of the male “death grip” problem. I push and rub and make such fast circles on and around my clit that it’s incredibly hard for a man to recreate. I have to mentally push myself to come, or use my hands to help him out. My favorite way to come is with a cock in my ass, a vibrator in my pussy and my fingers rubbing my clit hard and fast.

11. I am a selfless and shamelessly open-minded lover. I love whatever who I’m with loves. If I am with a guy who loves incest, then I will dress up like his sister and answer only to her name. If I am with a guy who loves being in control, I will wear a butt plug all day at work or school. My personal fetishes and turn-ons are put to the back burner in favor of the fetishes and turn-ons of whomever I’m with.

12. I have recently started dating a guy that I slept with about 6 months ago. When I get my hands on him this weekend, it will be the first time I have sex with a boyfriend. I’ll call him J, and he’s the best thing that has ever happened to me.

13. My biggest fear is ending up in a sexless marriage. I have watched my parents stop being affectionate. The impact it’s had on their relationship fucking terrifies me. I refuse to be that woman on Dr. Phil crying about how she hasn’t had sex with her husband in 20 years.

14. I have a cum fetish. I love the smell of it, the taste of it, the feel of it… everything. I love everything from facials, creampies, swallowing and tit glazing. Pre-cum is also one of my favorite parts to foreplay – running my thumb over a slippery head and then licking it clean. Nom.

15. Sex is pretty much the only thing I think about. Every person I meet, regardless of my relationship to them, I think about them having sex. I think about them naked. Occasionally, I think about having sex with them myself. My imagination runs wild with different positions, role-play scenarios and techniques every day. If I have a date in the evening and class or work during the day, my productivity becomes virtually zero because I am so preoccupied with thinking about all of the naughty things I plan on doing.

16. Giving blowjobs is an art form. From start to finish, I refuse to settle for giving lame or unsatisfying head. I do my homework on the guy in advance, usually through sexting, to find out what he likes and doesn’t like. This way, when I start to go down, I can surprise him with little tricks and techniques that cater to his fancy. I have always been a blowjob fanatic, often opting to give head more frequently than anything else. What turns me on the most is the reaction from the guy – whether its feeling his thighs tighten under my hands, or his balls shift slightly up as my tongue runs over them, or a little gasp when I run my tongue over his frenulum. Eek. I actually have a lady boner typing this.

17. Other than my big sexy brain, my tits are my favorite part of my body. My first bra was a 34B in Grade 5, a 36C in Grade 6 and by Grade 8 graduation I was a DD. By the time I graduated high school and to this day, I am a 38G. They are awesome. No other way to say it. They balance my body shape, are super sensitive and look fucking fantastic in a v-neck.

18. I said that I’m “mostly” straight because all of my intimate relationships (both emotionally and sexually) have been with men. That being said, a portion of my favorite sexual fantasies are reserved for girl-on-girl encounters. I love the idea of going down on a girl and having her go down on me. I am also supremely excited for my first FFM threesome that I plan on having with my boyfriend and an unspecified lady at some point this year.

19. Anal. How I love thee. Butt play is one of my favorite things, even better when it’s mutual! I love tongues, fingers, cocks and toys in my butt and I love doing the same to whomever I’m with.

20. My favourite sex position is a toss-up between missionary (it doesn’t have to be boring!) and standing doggy style. I’ve recently developed a penchant for riding cock, but it isn’t something I’m ready to call my favourite yet. Being on my back with my legs spread wide and being pounded so my tits shake is enough to send me over the edge. Standing doggy style is just plain fun. I can be bent over touching my toes, bent over a desk at 90 degrees, or have my back pressed up against his chest. I like the versatility of it, and I like the way cocks feel inside of me in this position.

21. I really enjoy rough sex. Not rough sex like a bit of spanking and a bit of hair pulling, but rough sex like being kicked in the face and slapped on the tits while I have a cock being shoved into my ass using only spit. I want to be called names that you wouldn’t say to your worst enemy. I want to be left cowering, covered in tears and welts, feeling worthless with a load of cum in my hair when he’s finished with me. Granted, about 5 minutes after that, I want to be cuddled and kissed and be fed Pop-Tarts in bed by my lover. I’m a complex creature.

22. My dad is a Howard Stern fan. Stern’s book "Miss America" has been on the bookshelf in my basement since I was 6 or 7. I’ve always been a reader and I’ve always been fascinated by sex, so when I started reading “Miss America” when I was about 9, it was definitely an interesting experience. Looking back, being turned on by a story of Howard Stern masturbating to a random woman having cybersex with him is a little less than erotic. However, my 9-year-old self used those conversation exchanges as spank bank material for the better part of a year. My mother had a little chat with me when she found the book opened to the pictures of naked girls hanging from barn walls in chains under my pillow.

23. Speaking of my parents, their attitudes towards sex are like black and white. My mom is open and honest (albeit a vanilla prude) and my father is silent and asexual, as far as I’m concerned. My mom has always been open about the physiology of sex and has been a strong advocate of having sex for your own reasons and not giving into societal pressures. She’s never shamed me for my views or openness about sex. My father, on the other hand, told me that a hooker is a woman who hooks rugs and referred me to my mother in a kerfuffle when I asked him what Viagra was.

24. For sexual preferences, I like my men to be beefy. There is nothing wrong with skinny guys (I don’t necessarily discriminate) but my favorite is a thick man with strong arms and a barrel chest. When I’m with a guy, I don’t want to feel like I’m going to break him when I climb on top of him and ride him raw.

25. I’ve got a huge sexual bucket list. I will try anything once (with the exception of my list of limits – including vomit, poop, needle suspension, raping babies, and anal fisting). If my partner is really into it, I’m more than willing to try it more than once!