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About Em & Lo

We like to consider ourselves the Emily Posts of the modern bedroom. We’ve co-authored seven books on the topics of sex and love so far: our Fifty Shades of Grey companion encyclopedia 150 Shades of Play: A Beginner’s Guide to Kink (Better Half Books ’13); the comprehensive sex manual Sex: How to Do Everything (DK ’08) with beautiful photography by Rankin; three fun A-Z guides, Buh Bye (Chronicle ’07), Rec Sex and Sex Toy (Chronicle ’06); our hipster sex manual The Big Bang: Nerve’s Guide to the New Sexual Universe (Plume ’03 in the US; Hodder ’04 in the UK); and the handbook Sex Etiquette for Ladies and Gentlemen (Plume ’04/Hodder ’05). We’ve contributed to the anthologies Sex and Sensibility: 28 True Romances from the Lives of Single Women (Washington Square Press ’05) and The Enlightened Bracketologist: The Final Four of Everything (Bloomsbury ’07), the self-help tome The Girl’s Guide to Absolutely Everything (Workman, ’06) and the gift book Position of the Day (Chronicle ’03). And more books are on the way!

We have contributed to numerous publications, including Glamour, Details, New York, Cosmo, The Boston Globe, ReadyMade, Men’s Health, Marie Claire, Allure, Slate and, in the UK, The Times, The Observer, The Financial Times, The Telgraph, Esquire, Arena, FHM, Metro, Cosmo, Red, Scarlet, and GQ. We’ve written a column debunking sex myths for The Guardian (UK), another dispensing sex advice for Men’s Journal, the Mating column for New York magazine, and a weekly column for More magazine in the U.K. And for two years, we blogged four times a week for SUNfiltered, the Sundance Channel blog.

We also are the hosts of a ten-episode television series called “SEX: How to Do Everything” which aired on Fiver in the UK in early 2009.

After four years as Nerve.com’s resident advice gurus, “astrologists” and online personals advocates, we dished about all things love-, sex- and star-related here at EMandLO.com; took a break for a year and blogged on Conde Nast’s DailyBedpost; and now we’re back home!

We both live in New York, outside of the city. We’ve only had two fights.

About Our Contributors

Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in New York City. She also lectures nationally on women’s health issues and conducts research on reproductive health. Dr. Kate answers your sexual medical questions here every few weeks. To ask her your own question, click here. And check out more of her advice and ask her a question at Gynotalk.com.

Dr. Joe earned his undergraduate degree in Molecular Biology from Princeton University. After attending the Loyola University Stritch School of Medicine, he completed his residency training in urological surgery at the Los Angeles County Medical Center. He lives and works in Chicago, IL. Keep an eye out for his upcoming blog at docjoe.net. To ask him your own question, click here.

Lauri Loewenberg is a nationally renowned Dream Expert and member of The International Association for the Study of Dreams. She has authored two books, So, What Did You Dream Last Night? and Cracking The Dream Code. You may have seen Lauri on The View, CNN, Good Morning America, The Today Show or Discovery Health channel. She resides in sunny Florida with her strikingly handsome husband and very loud son. And she holds a black belt in Tae Kwon Do in order to keep them both in line. Check out Lauri’s Dream Dictionary at TheDreamZone.com. To send her your own dream for interpretation, click here.

– Our Wise Guys –

Joel Derfner is the author of Gay Haiku and Swish: My Quest to Become the Gayest Person Ever and What Ended up Happening Instead. Working with Tony-Award-winning bookwriter and lyricst Rachel Sheinkin, he composed the score to Blood Drive, produced by the Bridewell Theater in London; with bookwriter Peter Ullian and lyricist Len Schiff he composed the score to Terezin, produced in 2007 at the Village Theater in Seattle and scheduled for a New York production in 2009. He has also worked as a step aerobics instructor, math teacher, knitting instructor, and go-go boy. He hopes to come to a bad end.

Justin Huang is a freelance film editor, producer, and certified personal trainer based in Los Angeles. He is second-generation Taiwanese American, born and raised in sun-kissed Southern California. He studied English literature and writing at Pomona College and Oxford University, graduating with a B.A. in 2009. He’s also an accomplished go-go dancer within the confines of his own shower. Check out his currently-defunct but soon-to-be revived blog about sex, race, and pop culture I AM YELLOW PERIL, and follow his incredibly spartan Twitter account @justinhuang.

Tom Miller is YourTango.com’s staff “guy” columnist. His column swings from strange news in the world of love to social commentary to dating advice to how to’s to sometimes embarrassing admissions of what makes him (and possibly other guys) tick. In addition to his column, Tom writes, produces and performs for YourTango’s videos.

Dave Jacobs is a NYC-based photographer, who lives in Brooklyn with his wife, two kids and a pesky cat. Check out DavidJacobsPhoto.com.

David Felsen is a comedian and writer. A graduate of the American Comedy Institute, he has performed at Gotham Comedy Club, Comic Strip, Broadway Comedy Club, East Village Comedy Club and the New York Comedy Club. Check out video of his stand-up at DavidFelsen.com

James Glazebrook, our British Wise Guy, is now one of the countless expats pushing up the rent in Berlin. He writes about life in Germany for the beautifully designed (by his wife) blog Überlin and, in his down time, tinkers with DJing, illustration and his two cats.

Jon Ross is a booker and production assistant for a network news program in New York City. In his free time he enjoys exploring the internet, video production, and the weirder sides of the New York. He lives in Brooklyn with his husband and dogs, Kippy and Barbara Ducky

Ben is an artist and writer living in Los Angeles. He makes big sculptures full of light and writes journalism and non-fiction about things like prostitution in Central Asia, dying musical forms in North Mississippi and melting permafrost in the Yukon. He and his wife host semi-regular Adult Parlour Game nights in LA for creative, consenting, sex-positive adults.

Colin Adamo is the author/blogger behind Hooking Up & Staying Hooked, the only sex and relationships resource specifically for high school guys. He is a recent graduate from Yale University, where he helped coordinate a student group of health educators to teach sex-ed in local public schools, and directed Sex Week at Yale, a biennial sex-ed summit. He hopes to continue slipping a feminist agenda into dating advice for young men the way your mom snuck vegetables into otherwise less-than-healthy meals.

Irad Eyal is a writer, tv producer and founder of celebrity gossip site Sexdegrees.net. If there’s one thing he knows, it’s women. But that’s a big if.

Mark Luczak, by day, gets paid to play on computers at Carnegie Mellon University (unofficial motto: “Talk nerdy to me”). He’s fascinated by all flavors of personal relationships, but particularly of the romantic variety, and he has an opinion on just about everything, when he’s not in the middle of his own drama amidst the personal hopeless-romantic crusade to prove that nice guys don’t, in fact, have to finish last.

Daniel has been a stripper, sex columnist, mistress to numerous “unavailable” men’s hearts, yet has little fear of dying alone. He’s a Scorpio, which suggests he is a slut with dark secrets. He will neither confirm or deny either.

Jay Dyckman is a copywriter in Los Angeles. He writes the movie taglines that make you cringe. He apologizes.

Terence spends most weekdays reinventing his past, re-imagining his future and tweaking his mojo to run smoothly day-to-day. On weekends, he skinny dips in Sydney Harbour.

Tyler Barnett is the founder of Tyler Barnett PR, where he’s created and run successful campaigns for both Fortune 500 companies and small businesses. Recently named one of the Top Young Entrepreneurs in the U.S. by BusinessWeek and one of the “Top 20 Entrepreneurs in their 20’s” by the Los Angeles Business Journal, Barnett continues to redefine the definition of public relations through the use of original, synergistic approaches on all media platforms.

Angelo Nikopoulos is the recipient of the 2011 “Discovery”/Boston Review Poetry Prize and a graduate of NYU’s Creative Writing Program. His work has appeared or is forthcoming in Best American Poetry 2012, Best New Poets 2011, Boston Review, Cortland Review, Los Angeles Review, Meridian, New York Quarterly, Tin House and elsewhere. His first book of poems, Obscenely Yours, is the winner of the Kinereth Gensler Award and is forthcoming from Alice James Books in 2013. He hosts The White Swallow Reading Series in Manhattan.

Ben was once a professional fighter, but these days would much rather spend time with his wife and baby son than get punched in the face by a sweaty man, and so now is an engineer on weekdays and a mountain biker/adventure racer on the weekends. For their first date, he took his wife to a foam party at a gay bar.

Scott Phrenetik works in visual communications and moonlights as a DJ in Dallas. Random hobbies include photo bombing, making sound effects on the fly, and adding to his digital collection of fantastic art and photography found on the Internet. He’s a DIY handy man around the house who still knows how to cook, clean, and sew. That’s right ladies, his momma raised him right.

Nick German is a 30-year-old network technician working for a major telecommunications company. He comes from a large family, tries to learn as much as he can from the world around him, and likes to recreate things he sees on “Mythbusters.”

Megan is a former librarian turned freelance contractor and project manager. His most recent endeavor is “The Men of the Stacks” calendar project, a fund-raiser supporting The It Gets Better Project. He is also a published author, dog lover and wannabe foodie. His blog is The Meeglet.

Jake Kulju is a Minneapolis-based freelance writer, handyman and beekeeper. He keeps a chronicle of his poetry, photography and handy ways on his blog, Analogue Living. Jake is the author of two Minnesota hiking and camping guidebooks, and is continually discovering the wit and wisdom of women through his lovely wife.

Adam is a native Floridian in his early thirties. In his spare time, he enjoys writing the occasional haiku or short story, soaking in the sun, and pontificating on burning questions about dating and human sexuality. In his non-spare time, he practices a little law.

Bryan Sebeck is a newlywed engineer, artist, and blogger working in Detroit, MI. He’s bisexual and spends his time maintaining his blog A Yooper Steampunk and searching for the best that life has to offer. You can find him on Twitter by looking for @bjsebeck.

Abraham Zeus Zapata is an actor, writer and artist recently relocated to the Houston area. He lives for theatre, art, experiencing life and helping out as many people as he can. “I’d rather be known as a humble fool than a condescending scholar.”

Dwayne Resnick lives in upstate New York with partner of 10 years and best dog ever. The family business is dealing in mid 20th century decorative arts. The spiritual business is teaching yoga and chanting on harmonium. Living in Manhattan for 20 years was one of his real past lives. He’s thrilled that someone has finally asked and is willing to publish his personal opinions.

After studying in Madrid, Spain, David Grossman graduated from Stony Brook University in New York with a B.A. in Spanish Language and Literature, and hopes to creatively contribute for a publication on the forefront of the transition from print to digital media. More importantly, he is one of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet. He strongly believes in ladies first, or, even better, simultaneously.

About Our Books

“If you are young and sassy…you might enjoy Sex: How to Do Everything, by two women who call themselves Em & Lo and have a penchant for frisky wordplay.” — The New Yorker

“Em and Lo have achieved the quite impressive trick of professionally dispensing advice without it sounding at all de haut en bas. Beneath their irreverent manner is an undeniably feminist agenda, in that they are both passionate about encouraging women to enjoy their sexual nature and own it more confidently. The ultimate ‘how to do it’ book, How to Do Everything is guaranteed to be a talking point if you’re bold enough to display it on your coffee table.” — The Observer (U.K.)

“Want to steam up your sex life this summer? Then look no further. From seduction and stripping to fantasies and kissing techniques, New York’s coolest sexperts Em and Lo have the nookie know-how.” — The Sun (U.K.)

“Sex experts Em and Lo have been dispensing sexual wit and wisdom for more than 9 years. Sex: How To Do Everything is a beautifully produced guide to sex in the bedroom and beyond. It explains how to do (almost) everything rude.” — LoveHoney.co.uk

“The Big Bang is not your average sex book. A sort of bluffers’ guide for fluffers, it covers everything that two or more adults of the same or different sex can do in, or with, one another. It gives a new meaning to self-help. I give it two thumbs up. Up where is up to you.” — The Times

“Ditch The Joy of Sex for something more explosive. With photos that are more fashion mag than porn rag, The Big Bang gives you the lowdown on sex toys, finger fun, bondage, gay, bi, solo, group — we’re talking Access All Areas.” — Elle magazine

“A spin-off from the hippest, smartest sex site on the web, www.nerve.com, this was my favourite of the [sex] books I looked at. Very frank in style and completely unprudish. Deals with gay sex as an integral part of the book and not an afterthought, as with most of the others. Lots of information about sex toys and gadgets — everything you wanted to know but were afraid to ask. Score: 9 out of a possible 10 [the best rating I gave]” — The Irish Independent

“Think Sex and the City meets The Joy of Sex…Everything you ever wanted to know about sex is addressed in a down-to-earth, no nonsense manner…refreshing…non-judgemental and intelligent.” — Image

“This book rocked my world in ways both sublime and ridiculous. The advice is fantastic and the illustrations absolutely edible. If I ever have the pleasure of meeting Em and Lo, I would probably feel obliged to pay them for the sex. Topping the list of possible gifts for my mum’s birthday.” — Belle de Jour

“The Big Bang is this generation’s smarter, funnier and raunchier version of The Joy of Sex.” — Time magazine

“The Big Bang is the hippest, the funniest and the funkiest [of the four best sex manuals out there]; lots of frank language and a general air of cool, heterosexual downtown-ness pervades. Ideal for a young adult or your sister who just got a tiny tattoo that no one can see.” — O, The Oprah Magazine

“Contributing editors to brainy online sex mag Nerve.com serve up a hanky-panky how to with a side order of full-color erotic photography. The nonjudgemental suggestions and detailed, illustrated directions illuminate rather than intimidate.” — Washington Post“When you can sell [your book] to a Midwestern car salesman, you’re doing OK.” — Boston Globe

“The Big Bang, with its arty, pansexual, semi-nude photos (many shot at Coney Island) and abundance of pop-culture references, is sure to become the hipster’s Joy of Sex.” — Media Bistro

“Emma Taylor and Lorelei Sharkey didn’t pen the tune ‘Let’s Talk About Sex,’ but they may as well have. The book is filled with sexual information, advice, and humor — all presented in Em and Lo’s trademark cheeky voices.” — Boston Phoenix

“The writers have produced an informative and fully-illustrated manual that not only touches on the kinkier aspects of sex, but also covers a number of important issues, such as sexually transmitted diseases and birth control. Kudos to Em and Lo for a job well done!” — Book Reporter

“Why just waste your time on the beach not learning anything? How about a little Sex 101? From the folks at the ultrahip nerve.com comes a handy sex manual. Plenty of pictures and diagrams that cover all the bases.” — Chicago Sun-Times

“Nerve.com writers Emma Taylor and Lorelei Sharkey bring their wry, intelligent take on sex advice to a new book, The Big Bang: Nerve’s Guide to the New Sexual Universe. Hip yet impressively thorough, the book instructs on everything from anatomy to bondage for beginners, and includes especially well-done chapters on sexual health and contraception, all illustrated by photographer Matt Gunther’s spirited shots of a Paris Hilton doppelganger playing with her friends.” — San Francisco Bay Guardian

“One of the best sex manuals I’ve ever read — and I’ve read them all, from Betty Dodson’s Liberating Masturbation to The Goofy Foot Press Guide to Getting It On. There’s no one better qualified to be our intrepid native guides in the somewhat wild and wooly jungle that is Down There than Nerve’s Emma Taylor and Lorelei Sharkey. ” — Corporate Mofo

“A slick, gorgeous, and glossy hardcover which covers everything from handjobs to rimming to kegels and lube, along with gorgeous photography and design. This is definitely one to check out, especially for the next generation of sexually active men and women.” — Erotic Gossip

“An ideal sex manual for a college graduate or a sexual teen, Nerve.com’s sexperts, Em and Lo, deliver solid sex information with an urban edge. Lots of humor and slang (“vag,” “boobies,” etc.), with topics covering everything from masturbation and handjobs to sex toys, bondage and STDs.” — Libida magazine

“Filled with glossy photos of young, nubile models and diagrams of anatomy and sexual positions, this book is an entertaining romp through the world of s-e-x. The book’s message seems to be, ‘Play. Be careful and watch out for these things. Keep an open mind and you too could be left speechless with delight.'” — Identity Theory

“The Big Bang is artsy, edgy, insatiably hip — and gorgeous to look at. The writing, like the twosome’s sex-advice column, is breezy and funny, yet informative. This is a sex manual that will be passed around in college dorms until its glossy white cover is decidedly less so. In other words, this is not their parents’ sex manual.” — San Francisco Chronicle

“Em & Lo definitely know the ups and downs of sex and dating, but what makes them special in the advice world is their willingness to take it from readers. The result is that everyone gets edified and hopefully, in the end, satisfied.” — Austin Chronicle

“Nerve.com’s popular sex columnists Taylor and Sharkey (“Em & Lo”) offer here a candid — and we mean really candid — guide to the bedroom (and the bathroom, and the kitchen, and the backseat…). Just about every topic that a nervous beginner or an intermediate practitioner might wonder about is covered. This is a good, cheeky introduction for the sexually inquisitive.” — Publishers Weekly

“Hip, frank, contemporary, and clever, The Big Bang is a savvy sex book, colorful in language and viewpoint. Authors “Em & Lo” of Nerve.com invite you to relish sex, appreciate your partner(s), and keep a sense of humor. This is not your parents’ sex lecture: it’s irreverent, chummy, and downright fun…. All consensual sex acts are treated with delight and respect. Refreshingly honest, direct, and funny, The Big Bang is perfect for sexual novices with open minds and equally fine for spicing up the sex lives of those who think they know it all.” — Amazon.com

“If you buy any book about sex this year it should definitely be The Big Bang!” — Condomania

“After giving it a thorough read, I purchased this book for my 16-year-old son, presenting it to him with the caveat, ‘This is a learner’s permit, not a driver’s license.’ We live in a state where you say “bush” and people think “W.” Sex education (not) is strictly limited to antediluvian abstinence-only sermons, and whether parents want to face the fact or not, that’s totally inadequate. To realistically promote teen abstinence, we need to 1) promote masturbation as the physically and emotionally healthier alternative to intercourse and 2) de-mystify sex with accurate information on the mechanical and social realities about which healthy teens are naturally curious. The information in The Big Bang is balanced, accessible, clinically sound, and painfully (fisting?!) thorough. And it’s presented with the same sort of hip, hilarious writing you find in The Onion (my son’s favorite news source.) Frankly, I learned a few things myself. Thanks, Em & Lo, for providing a platform from which we’ll be able to launch some awkward but meaningful dialogue. My daughter will be getting a copy for her 16th birthday next year.” — Mrs. Rogers (Amazon reviewer)

And finally, the only bad review we could find, from a writer at the New York Sun whom we swear neither of us has ever dumped:

“Suddenly it becomes glaringly obvious that the authors have never actually had sex in their lives, which slightly undermines their authority…Merely dizzy girls being cute…passably attractive females give advice…A book utterly devoid of nuance or intelligence.” — New York Sun

“One can but wonder what literary gems Emily Post would have produced if she had only lived in the enlightened society that produced Bend Over Boyfriend Volumes I and II. The free market of love turns us all into a bunch of whores. Ironically, that very fact is also why we need [Sex Etiquette]. We’ve become so intoxicated with our own permissiveness that boundaries no longer exist. We’re all a bunch of naughty little children with vibrators and credit cards. There’s some sincerity under all of [Em and Lo’s] tongue-in-cheek (and -asshole) referencing of the past. [They] have discerned that what we really need is some good, old-fashioned discipline. The result is advice that just might get you laid. ” — New York Press

“Two Hot: Nerve’s Guide to Sex Etiquette for Ladies and Gentlemen by Em and Lo is a delightfully precocious guide to bed etiquette written in language that manages to be quite elegant, effusive, and up-to-date.” — Village Voice

“Get thoroughly modern sex advice from those sassy, savvy sexperts, Em and Lo. All of those modern details Momma never mentioned are here: booty call protocol, how to conduct three-ways (and more-ways), and how to handle those first fifteen minutes of the morning after.” — Toys in Babeland

“At first read (and blush) it is difficult to ascertain whether these women (one primly named Emma, the other provocatively named Lorelei), popularly known as Em and Lo, are writing practical advice or pristine humor. After all, chapters like “The Unmentionables” (which includes a chart on degrees of potty problems) and “Protocol for Specific Embraces” are laden with real-life know-how….Despite its screamingly funny moments, this book answers many questions that dare not speak their own names, from safe, sane pickup lines to STD-discovery decorum….You may quibble on points of morality, but Em and Lo are so over that. They know from both personal and professional experience that folks will do what they do, and they might as well have a safe, sane book from which to glean correct behaviors in sticky situations that range from first date to first…oh, you choose!” — Book Reporter

“An indispensable handbook on the ins and outs by Emma Taylor and Lorelei Sharkey, who bring their tongue-in-cheek Emily Post-ian gloss to such matters as ‘Booty Calling an Ex’ and ‘Spanking with Aplomb.'” — W magazine

“There are thousands of ways to stumble in the naked city. With Sex Etiquette, Taylor and Sharkey have extended a steadying hand. They approach various situations — from hosting an orgy to booty calls to the so-called ”Unmentionables” (gas, menstruation, etc.) — in a forthright and nonjudgmental manner with admirable aplomb.” — Miami Street

“Though the book’s voice is straight-laced, its message is anything but. Em and Lo’s tome works because it gently combines Miss Manners-style guidelines with subject matter often deemed inherently impolite… The authors break down the rules of orgy behavior so graciously, you’d think they were talking about a royal wedding.” — New York Post

“Even if you’re the very picture of sexual savoir faire, you’ll still get a kick out of this, the world’s first and finest guide to sex etiquette, from the world’s coolest leading ladies on aplomb in and around the bedroom. Em & Lo are here to tell you how to be a class act. Take it from us, boys and girls. You’re going to get something out of this book besides great laughs! Your future as a poised, sophisticated master of the social graces hangs in the balance.” — Sex News Daily

“I only wish this book had come out back when I was in college. With Em and Lo’s advice, I could have been a stud on campus. Or at least I would have been able to blame them for being nookie-less instead of my original mentor: Jethro Bodine. Thank you, Em and Lo for making the world a little more sexual ettiquetted.” — Party Favors

“Our dear friends Em and Lo have a new book out called Nerve’s Guide to Sex Etiquette for Ladies and Gentlemen. On masturbation: ‘Our libidos for the most part are extroverts — energized when brought out to play, dulled when ignored…most ladies and gentlemen find that the more they call upon their libido alone, the more they wish to call upon it with a partner.’ We couldn’t agree more.” — Melinda Gallagher and Emily Scarlet Kramer, CAKE

“This quick-witted new reference book reinterprets etiquette for modern society. Nerve.com sex-advice columnists Em and Lo (Emma Taylor and Lorelei Sharkey) lay out strict protocol for booty call, one-night stands and dumping.” — Time Out New York

“Girls, I was in a bookstore in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania on my way to the airport to travel home from my friends who live in Allentown. I wanted a book to look at on the plane on my way home (I generally do NOT read books). Of all the books in this store, I happened to pick yours: “BUH BYE”. I do believe in being at the right place at the right time as well as destiny. I was visiting my friends to feel better after my 3-year relationship ended just 2 weeks before this trip. This book..well..I am taking my time reading it..so far, into it for about 3 weeks now (up to page 142). I pick it up whenever I need a lift since I am still go through “waves” of emotional ups and downs at times. I never want this book to end. I have just ordered 2 more copies to send to friends who can identify with my lows (and highs). I am also sending it to my therapist who, I know, will get a kick out of it and may help her in her practice. Thanks soooo much for making me feel better about being the “dumpee”. It was a heart-breaker for me. Luv you guys…..” — Marty, loyal Em & Lo reader

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