2009 NFL Mock Draft: The Friday Night Lights Edition

Full disclosure: I'm a huge fan of the football television drama "Friday Night Lights," inspired by the movie, and Buzz Bissinger book, of the same name.

Sure, the show features a bunch of twentysomething actors portraying high school students, and the Dillon Panthers (the fictional team the show is based on) tend to win pretty much every game on the last play, but the writing, acting, and football are compelling, and the show makes for great TV.

With news that the show may get picked up for two more seasons, and with the NFL Draft approaching, I thought I'd create an "FNL" mock draft.

The following is a breakdown of where "FNL" characters (from the television and the film versions) would be picked in the 2009 draft.

1. Detroit Lions - QB Matt Saracen (TV)

If you're going to be under center for a team that went 0-16 last season, you need to be ready for rejection and disappointment.

Is there anyone that's been figuratively crapped on more than Matt Saracen?

The guy's been doubted, written off, benched (twice), dumped (twice), deserted by both of his parents, and he spends his free time waiting for his dementia-struck grandma to lose the few marbles she has left.

Now THAT is a man mentally prepared to spend his weekdays living in Detroit, and his weekends getting thrown to the turf in front of fans wearing paper bags over their heads.

Forget Stafford. No need for Sanchez. Saracen is the only guy ready to start for the Lions.

4. Seattle Seahawks - QB Julie Taylor (TV)

OK -- No. 4 may seem a bit early for the Coach Taylor's 17-year-old daughter, but she's been around football her whole life, dates a quarterback, and played quarterback herself in the first season's "Powder Puff" episode.

Plus, anyone who watches "FNL" knows that Julie's mainly known for whining: whining about wanting a car, whining about her over protective parents, whining about being grounded, etc.

That's what makes Seattle a great match. Seahawks fans are still whining about the two questionable calls in Super Bowl XL against the Steelers.

5. Cleveland Browns - DE Ivory Christian (Film)

Last year, the Browns were plagued by people within the franchise running their mouths.

Kellen Winslow complained about how the team handled the staph infection breakout; Braylon Edwards complained about fans ridiculing his inability to catch the ball; and even GM Phil Savage berated a fan via email.

Winslow and Savage are gone, but the Browns could still use someone that knows how to keep his mouth shut.

Christian says about 14 syllables over the two-hour "FNL" film, and most of those are battle cries as he's dragging opposing players to the ground.

An added bonus: Christian has never punched his quarterback in the face, which is more than at least one of the Browns' defensive linemen can say.

7. Oakland Raiders - Coach Eric Taylor (TV)

If there's a head coach out there who can put up with Al Davis, it's Eric Taylor.

His every move is scrutinized, he's ridiculed after each loss, and no matter how much he wins, it's never enough. Granted, Taylor has always had a quarterback who can put a little touch on the ball, but he can probably win with JaMarcus Russell, too.

(Fully aware teams can't draft coaches, but with limited characters, I had to get a little creative).

8. Jacksonville Jaguars - OL Guy Raston (TV)

Who is this shirtless guy? He's the man the Jaguars need to take the attention off troubled wide receiver Matt Jones.

Raston, also known as Tim Riggins' temporary gun-toting, meth-cooking roommate during season two of "FNL," isn't a football player, but he's capable of doing things a lot dumber than Jones has ever done, taking the spotlight off the oft-suspended receiver.

15. New England Patriots (from Hou) - LB Landry Clarke (TV)

Just to prove that he can win with any player at any position, New England coach Bill Belichick trades a second rounder to the Houston Texans to snag Landry Clarke, a third-string linebacker whose biggest accomplishment over two years of football is forcing a fumble on a kickoff.

Granted, Clarke is dating someone infinitely more attractive than he is, so maybe he was meant to be a football star after all.

18. Chicago Bears - FS Bobby Reyes

For years, the Bears' defense was considered the best in the league, but following a combination of injuries and losing players to free agency, the Bears' defense isn't the feared unit it was three years ago.

Hot-headed Reyes could change that.

Known for his anger management issues, Reyes is a hard hitter, and with Mike Brown leaving Chicago, there's room in the secondary for the young safety.

As long as coach Lovie Smith can keep Reyes from letting his rage fly off the field, the Bears should be in good shape.