Stuff White People Like: Racism

Despite enrolling in the School of Massage Therapy and Happy Endings, at the age of six, I am not a good Asian. My parents are the whitest white people (BBQ-USA-Freedom!) you have ever seen, and subsequently I have no Korean culture in my life. Despite stating this fact, over and over, people (men, mostly) seem to think that I am subservient and will “love them long time,” while simultaneously writing their math thesis.

If you don’t conform to the stereotype attached to your race, you are judged differently than if you were just some white dude who bellowed his God rants, at the top of his lungs, on North 7th. That guy is just “Angry God Guy,” whereas if they were from South of the border (Mexico, not Taco Bell), he’d be “Angry Mexican guy.” I personally don’t have a problem with that, as I believe that your race is part of who you are, therefore using it to describe someone is perfectly acceptable. I do, however, find it funny that if the person isn’t part of the Aryan brotherhood, their race is ALWAYS mentioned.

There have been several occasions where a friend has been regaling me with their tale about some female they recently tried to roofie, and the second sentence out of their mouth, after stating the girl’s name, is something like, “And she’s black.” They then look at me, straight in the eye, to gauge my reaction and JUDGE. What is the appropriate attitude to have, in a situation like that? I always take the offensive, non-funny route, and acknowledge such a statement by asking if they smelled like fried chicken; but let’s say I was being serious, then what? When people state another person’s race, are they looking for validation, or has it just become so commonplace to attach progeny to identity that it’s akin to stating gender?

As a former legal alien and citizen of the United States of America, I truly believe that all people are created equal (except for the gays, because they don’t really count as people). I mean, just because you’re really good at making burritos doesn’t mean that that’s your calling in life; you can always have another part-time job, at the swap meet.

Seriously though, all pseudo-bigotry aside, things like this make me ill. Listen, bitch (I’ll own up to being a misogynist any day), the reason you don’t have WET is because every major network, besides BET, is predominantly white. You do have a white history month, it’s EVERY FUCKING MONTH. The reason that there are college funds and scholarships for other races, is because it has been proven statistically that the demographic of those most impoverished are not white; and besides, there are many grants that I can list that a black person wouldn’t be caught dead applying for (Sophie Major Memorial Duck Calling Scholarship, anyone?) . I don’t know what state you live in, but try to tell me you’re not making it out on top. As far as white pride goes, I don’t think anyone really has a problem with that, it’s when you take it to the next level and use it as a harbinger for hate that riles people up. Yes, it’s unfortunate that “White Pride” is associated with the KKK and other hate supergroups, because I completely understand why one would find comfort in their racial unity, but you’re still governing America, despite the fact that we have a partially-black president, so shut the hell up already.

I don’t really know where I was going with this, but now I’m angry, and I need to go play the violin and do some nails to calm my nerves.

I, like others (I'm sure), come here for the spontaneous commentary on popular culture. Though different, this piece fell dead set on contemporary life, human fallacies, and constantly overlooked gestures of douchebaggery one makes- intentionally or not.

I think it's because Aryans are still the national majority. So the racial default in conversation about Americans is still Aryans. I'll bet if you go into a neighborhood that is not majority Aryan (e.g. Bed Stuy, Crown Heights, Sunset Park, people would probably specifically mention when the person they're talking about is "white", because it changes the assumptions of normal conversation.

As a white guy, if I could magically turn myself black overnight, I would do it in a fucking heartbeat. You know why? Because I could easily get a job I'm not qualified for and be overpaid for it even though I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.

I work in HR for a Fortune 10 company. I am pretty much judged on the percentage of minorities I hire. I have to explain myself every time I hire another white guy. Finding a hire-able black guy for any job that involves speaking or writing to customers is like a god damn search for unicorns. They show up to the interview late, they dress like they are in high school, they fall asleep in the fucking waiting room, they take friends family etc to the interview with them and they say "axe" and "sammich". If a black man shows up at my desk, wearing a suit, speaking clear english and doesn't have a record, HE IS GUARANTEED TO GET THE FUCKING JOB.

It is pretty much impossible for any black person at my company to get fired. There is an unofficial policy of quietly telling someone Vice President or higher that you have a "problem with a minority hire". Every attempt will be made to move the person someplace where they will do the least damage rather than fire them. This often involves PROMOTING the fuckers. Firing white people is no problem at all.

So make me black. I will handle the low grade racisim when I try to hail cabs or get seated in restaurants while I enjoy my new job as the Motherfucking Deputy Director of Research and Debelopment.

What really annoys me about Asian chicks like Kari is they will yammer on about racism but everyone they fuck is white. They'll claim "that's not it, I date all races" but more often than not, their dating history is 100% white. These types of Asian chicks are total racists themselves.

so what's new? it's a christian-white dominated western society. they had better weapons. why not looking at the positive side of things? how fast new generations seem to shed all the traditional bullshit, whether religious, cultural or ethnic. god bless globalized media for this part.

and today's situation clearly sucks for the whiteboi. especially when you have 'black' friends. or whichever 'color'. mad double standards. the HR dude is spot on, too.

as far as asian girls only dating white dudes, and the other stereotypes.. like the sexual objectification of asian women… you even started your rant carrying on the cliche'. maybe if you just naturally let go no one will really care about it any longer.

this is NYC all kinds of women get objectified ALL DAY. I feel bad as a dude in this town for chicks living here. just hang out on 28th and 6th and listen to the dudes selling fake Nikes and whatnot hollering at ladies…

it sounds like you're frustrated cuz the wrong white dudes are trying to get it in. grow your hair, dress a bit more feminine and post a blog about the difference!

@WHODAT: I know what Aryan means, but I subscribe to Aryan Invasion Theory, and categorize the old Indo-European speaking tribes and their descendants under the Aryan name. That is inclusive of Gauls and Teutons and Scandanavians and Iranians and North Indians and etc.

I'll also add that Affirmative Action is the biggest load of crap that our civilization has ever subscribed to. Hey, you're less qualified and have less competent than the other guy, but you've whined about your ancestors' hardships, and we all know that no one else's ancestors had any hardships, so here, take the college admission and the top job. We were fools to expect you to actually earn your achievements. Just please, don't sue us!

There are goofy people everywhere and there's bound to be jerks and a-holes in every culture, you just have to deal with it, they will get theirs. Lot of the racism comes from fear which can lead to anger and hate, (and I kind of see you being homophobic). I'm not gay, but I know some nice gay people, they're people too, they bleed red.

Cue the whining "it's so oh so hard to be a white male in America." Spare me the bullshit. Everything she said was the truth. But as usual, white males play the victim instead of acknowledging their white male privilege.

HaHa. Americans cannot keep immigrants in line. In Homeland we would throw the korean to Siberian prison for thefting from the Sara Silverman jew. In America, you have to have one Sara for each race of immigrant. Soon you will be conquered anyway and the korean man in the dress from picture will have fled.