February 26, 2004

Nook and Cranny

Something is going to have to be done. I'm going to have to organize the stash.

I have no idea how this is even possible, since the only way I can make the stash fit in my little wee house is using my patented "nook and cranny" approach. This approach maximizes your yarn storage capabilities, allowing knitters with the tiniest of homes to store absolutely incredible amounts of yarn. I can hear you now, "Tell me more Stephanie, I want to store mind boggling quantities of yarn in and around my home too".

WARNING. If you are the kind of knitter who has a really organized stash, or if you are the kind of person who knows where your keys are without looking for them, you may find the following images difficult to understand. Just look away.

The secret to the "nook and cranny" approach is expanded thinking. There is no real reason why yarn cannot be stored in any space which is not otherwise occupied. When my stash overflowed the bins, baskets and boxes which were its home, I began putting it anywhere it would fit, but still be unknown to the casual observer.

Example 1. The liquor cabinet.

This is ideal. This space is underused, it has a cabinet door I can close to avoid yarn detection and even if the door is opened in the presence of others, the yarn shape mimics the shape of the surrounding objects enough that if you open and close the cabinet quickly enough...you might get away with it.

Example 2. Movie cupboard

The movie cupboard is less ideal, but still works well. This cupboard has a sliding door, and it's relative inaccessibility means that guests in your home will never know the yarn is there. This choice illustrates the advantage of choosing a low traffic location. If your kids watch tons of movies, you may wish to consider somewhere else. Somewhere near the washing machine tends to be pretty freakin low traffic around here. I could put 73 kilos of wool right on the washer and nobody but me would ever know it was there...but I digress.

Example 3. Book shelf

I understand that you may not quite follow my thinking here. You are saying to yourselves "But Stephanie, I thought that the beauty of the nook and cranny plan was the concealment of stash from the casual observer...now I see yarn right out in the open. What part of the plan is this?"
I understand your confusion. Look closely. See? Those are knitting books. A whole wall of them. This is a good choice partly because the yarn fits the knitting theme of this wall, and partly because the viewer is already stunned into a fit of incomprehension by all the knitting books and patterns. The wool won't even register.

Finally today I offer you this picture of my charming husbands arse. As he was walking through the living room in his boxers this morning (yeah...we live pretty casual), I spotted something odd.

There is a bite out of his boxers. I'm trying not to think about it. Mice? Children? Another woman?