After an absolutely terrific (read traumatic) placement (read black market labor selling) season, we’re sure that all the first years are in party mode. Well, whatever passes for a party according to CultComm anyway.

We, at Eloquence, have decided to share in this revelry by bringing to you a few anecdotes of our own that epitomize the brilliance of this unique time in Fachcha lives. All the anecdotes are completely (read maybe a little bit) non-fictional and could resemble one (read many) of our very own batch-mates so do read on with a brave heart my children.

Bank Day with no bank shortlists:

A: “Hey man, where are you going?”

B: “Dude.. going for Goldman interaction”

A: “Awesome dude! I didn't get shortlisted”

B: “Neither did I.. but I heard Goldman has shortlisted so many people that they also don’t know who’s on their shortlist so I thought I’d go and blend in”

Bank Day CP:

1. 1. Candidate: “The debt markets in India are quite shallow.. do you see this situation changing in the future?”

Recruiter: “Who are you, Ben Bernanke? Why thef**k do you care?”

2. Candidate: “I think it’s wonderful that diversity is so important in your company. I, too, believe diversity is the key to sustainable and successful enterprises.”

Recruiter: “I know you are a girl. You can stop”

3. Candidate: “What is the capital ratio of your company and how do you see that changing?”

Recruiter: “Maybe you should worry about getting in first and about that later”

The pain of not getting a “partner call”:

A: “Dude.. I got partner calls from 4 consults yesterday.. I’m so confused man.. I don’t know what to do.. what are you doing? You would have got them too right?”

B: “Dude, the only call I got yesterday was from my mother. I even kept my phone fully charged and checked it every 45 seconds.”

Epic GD Quotes: Death to all!!

“Dude.. that bitch was like a lawn-mower and everyone else was like grass”

“He only stopped talking to swallow his saliva but still somebody interrupted him”

“GD does not stand for Group Discussion. It stands for Going Devil”

After a Chairman GD: “If that is how long companies take to make decisions, India is in big trouble”

And, finally, the best for last:

“There are two kinds of people who crack GDs. People who don’t have friends and people who don’t want them”

Hope you enjoyed reading! Stay tuned for more Monday Masti next week. Until then, hope you’re not suffering too bad a hangover from last night’s rocking (read fancy dress) party that ended at 10.30 and had no alcohol.