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Virility

When considering the many infidelities (and subsequently the many offspring that sprang from them) of Zeus, I often wonder if it might not be easier to ask the question, “Who didn’t Zeus sleep with?”.

I doubt there would have been a hand raised in ancient Greece when asked that particular question.

Zeus, Lord of the skies, of thunder, and chief among the gods of Ancient Greece was also Lord of being a total man whore. The affairs of Zeus are legendary, few deities in mythology can match the raw virility such a figure and even fewer can match the incredibly weird ways in which he wooed some of those ladies. There are a lot of guys out there that like to imagine themselves lady killers, the sort of dudes that can get any girl under any circumstances. The day those guys can somehow turn themselves into a swan and get it on with an attractive woman is the day they can be correct in those assumptions.

Yeah that’s right. Zeus became a swan, got it on, and had some kids. Imagine Leda (the woman in question) trying to explain THAT one to her children.

The craziest part of all this isn’t that Zeus was able to make-a-love to so many women, nor is it that he was seemingly so potent that every coupling left him with at least a single child, it’s the fact that through it all, his wife, Hera, stayed by his side. Goddess of the home and hearth, matron of marriage, Hera stayed faithful to Zeus through centuries of storytelling, never once deviating despite her husband’s sexual rampaging.

That’s not to say that Hera was a pleasant person all the time, however. Hera’s rage at the women who so roused her husband’s passion is about as legendary as Zeus’s sexual appetite and has been a focal point in several myths, including the tale of Hercules. Despite being a sympathetic ear (one of the few in Greek mythology) for the women of Greece, Hera’s fury was unmatched when it came to dealing with those who dared engage in dalliances with Zeus.

It’s interesting to note that despite helping untold numbers of Greek couples make their marriages happy ones, Hera was never able to help her own. That’s a very human thing to deal with and one that I suspect was no accident from the people telling these tales thousands of years ago. The fact that Hera held on in spite of her husband’s very obvious flaws is both a testament to her womanly duties (as it was seen at the time) and the sad state relationships can turn to when problems aren’t solved together.

Perhaps Hera is still out there somewhere, hanging out with Zeus. Maybe the lack of interest from modern day ladies has caused Zeus to finally settle down and appreciate what he’s got instead of always looking for greener pastures.

But she wasn’t “tolerant”. She killed, made mad or miserable for life or eternity many of her husband’s mistresses and illegitimate children. It’s one of the reasons why Zeus liked to change shape to hit on girls – so she couldn’t recognise him and won’t be mad.

Yep, she had five kids! They were one happy family! Except Hephaestos, who was deformed, cast out, and eventually messed with Hera by making her a cursed throne she couldn’t leave! But that’s another story…

Yeah she was supposedly a bit of a bitch alright. Wasn’t Hera the one to turn Medusa to well… the way she’s portrayed in the myth? Snakes for hair and anyone she looked directly at (or maybe it was in the eyes) turned to stone.

You’re close! Medusa was one of the Gorgon sisters, ancient creatures that haunted mankind from long ago. Their lineage isn’t really discussed very much, but suffice to say they just were they way they were.

You’re thinking of the Lamia, which is a snake-like monster with a few origin stories attached to it. One of them is that she was once a woman who drew Zeus’s attention. To punish her, Hera cursed her, turning her into a half-snake vampire creature and slaying her children!

One of Medusa’s story origins says that it was Athena who changed her – when she was raped by Poseidon in Athena’s temple. As far as I recall it was even told in this new Clash of the Titans movie but I am not sure.

The flat color on this works so well. That choice really keeps this from being visually overwhelming. I imagine even half tones would be too much. I’m a huge fan of your color work and it’s very instructive to see this strip.

I thought Zeus rapped whats-her-face in swan form, not seduced her. But I guess that kind of detail would just depend on who’s telling the story. Rape and consensual sex may not have been considered to be a radically important distinction among certain people in ancient Greece.
didn’t he also have sex with Europa as a bull?
AND I also recall something about Zeus also turning a girl into a cow to hide her from Hera… I forgot, but somehow she figured out the ruse… hmmm…

You’re thinking of Io. Zeus was gettin’ freaky when Hera happens upon them, so Zeus unceremoniously turned Io into a cow. Hera was not fooled for long by this rather crappy ruse, and sent a gadfly to torment Io all across the mediterranean. Well, that’s the halfassed version.

Naga’s!!! We need a comic strip about making sugar cookies and as they fall apart before baking (they always do), they peice them back together using differnt cookie parts to make Kimera’s instead of snow men. (oh the fun of baking) Sorry, I’m really hungry right now and could REALLY use a cookie. 🙁

There were other ways too. He made love in every form he could think of, heck, he even turned hisself into golden rain for a princess! given the context of what a golden shower means this day and age, that can be taken sooo wrong.

But still, you are right about how, even though Hera helped alot of couples, her marriage was a mess. My mother used to have a saying, about the person who gives advice, are the ones who are the most messed up, I think it works here too.

There is a theory that the reason why Zeus is such a man whore is because as the religion spread outwards to other towns/villages the gods/goddesses/figures of legend of those villages were incorporated into the myths, hence the man whoriness explaining where those awesome people came from & connecting the women to the head god putting them in a similar position that they were in before.

It’s like with chrisitanity and saints that are exclusive to one locality because they were a god/goddess/revered legendary character of that area and incorporated to make the newer religion more palatable.

Actually, at least according to one version of Hephaestus’s origins, Hera might not have been utterly faithful. While I generally prefer to think that Zeus was just being an ass about having fathered an ugly baby, some versions say that Hera created Hephaestus without the aid of any man and especially not Zeus as revenge against his constant philandering. After the baby turned out ugly, she back tracked on that story and abandoned the whole ‘eye for an eye, bastard for a bastard’ method for the simpler and less personally painful method of bloody-minded persecution.