7 Golden Rules for a Divorce

04 May 2015

The old adage goes that first you fall in love, you get married, baby carriage and all that. However, in this day and age it seems people are more taking that as a challenge than a rule. As of last year, for every 1000 people in the general population, 68% get married, while 36% get divorced. This once again shows that over half of all marriages end in Divorce. It is a sad fact, but a fact nonetheless. If you are sadly one of the ever growing group of people whose marriage is being cut short the following tips will help you endure this unfortunate circumstance.

1. Seek Professional Help
It is obvious that lawyers will be involved, however, should the worst happen and an epic battle over money or children ensues; make sure you have the right person fighting for you. Nobody enjoys those legal battles, be sure to talk with multiple attorneys beforehand to know who you are comfortable with to step up to the plate on your behalf.

2. Be Mindful of the Little Ones
If you should have children, leave them out of all proceedings. Above and beyond the fact that it is petty and low, it has been proven that children who are used against a parent grow to have deep issues from it. The resentment alone may just ruin your relationship with your children!

3. Don't Argue Angry
Cooler heads prevail. Never lose your temper no matter the stress or anger you feel. Divorces involve a lot of emotion already; try not to aggravate the situation. Try your best to keep all contact short and direct, lest you say or do something that will backfire on you later.

4. Be Honest!
Honest is the best policy right? Things may not be ending the way you thought they would, but ending them on a good note is what we all strive to do. Being honest about your finances, any children involved, or even any other details regarding your marriage is the best way to get through this difficult time as short and painless as possible. Plus you don't want to be back in court years after your divorce to hash out settlement issues.

5. Be Understanding
Each day you may experience a different emotion from the last. Anger, sadness, relief, fear, maybe eventually even joy will all be experienced. If that is what you are feeling, imagine your spouse. Keep in mind they may not be feeling on top of the world either.

6. Pick Your Battles
You should never fight just to be fighting. Most people who go through those messy divorces waste just so much time, money, and energy usually for no apparent reason than to prove someone wrong or to make each other’s lives worse. You will only end up hurting yourself more by doing this.

7. Be Thoughtful
It will inevitably happen, whether you are fully finished with the processing or are just beginning, meeting someone new will undoubtedly happen. Do try your best not to flaunt your new someone. It makes things even more uncomfortable around anyone involved. Any children will end up resenting both you and the ‘intruder’. Always have a heart to heart with your ex so there is no extra bad blood between you both.

The last thing to keep in mind is that as much as we try to help one another, one person’s divorce has nothing to do with yours. Take each grain of wisdom with a grain of salt!

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