It's only money.

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Why is everybody on my case all of a sudden? So I'm going to spend a million dollars to become mayor--is that so wrong? I think when they see that figure in the papers, right away they start thinking of Dr. Evil from Austin Powers.

Hey, can I help it if people love me? Can I help it if people's secretaries love me?

OK, so maybe love's not the right word. Is it my fault they're afraid to be on the losing side? I must admit I help it along a little when I give them the old, "Support me now...while you have the chance." Maybe throw in the raised eyebrow, let them think I'm from Chicago instead of Eureka. Amazing how one eyebrow can shake a checkbook out. Learned it from the Jesuits.

Anyway, I've been working hard on my TV ads. We're going to scorch the earth with these babies. I'm going to be on the tube so much, I'll make people forget that homely couple from Mattress World. Me in the sport jacket. Me in the leather jackets. Light shirts. Dark shirts. Gotta have a hard hat on in at least one shot. And something for the downtown crowd--maybe a couple of seconds of me and Pete Mark waking up some homeless people in their sleeping bags.

The consultants are pushing for some New Age background music, but I'm holding out for Frankie Valli & the Four Seasons doing "Big Man in Town." The whole Italian thing.

Time to turn in, bloggy. I'll check in with you in the afternoon from Steve Janik's office if I get the chance.