Archive for 2011

New fortune cookie messages have been popping up in Chinese restaurants throughout the United States and several have resulted in complaints, even calls for government action. It's estimated that the brand of wisdom contained in 1 out of every 20 of the nation's fortune cookies is actually foreign indoctrination designed to further [...]

Reports that Alaska and Hawaii have slid south of the Rio Grande are unfounded, both U.S. and Mexican officials confirmed today. This admission included a plea from Mexican authorities to mapmakers around the world insisting that their country had not vanished and was, in fact, still there.
A rash of 9-1-1 calls stirred the [...]

Legend has it, if Lady Antebellum and Lady Gaga enter a room at the same time, Men at Work and Men Without Hats are leaving one.
— Dirk Dachs (@SoapyJohnson) December 9, 2011
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The Boys of Summer. Lyrics written by Don Henley and music composed by Don Henley and Mike Campbell
Although it sounds awesome in the summer ... this classic is admittedly more relevant lyrically right now. And it sounds great still.
Hans Olson, October 29, 2011
Exactly. I used to crank this in college and it's still as strong, 27 [...]

Previously .........
The starting point: Vol. 1 -- Every thought is with the kid
ARCHIVES: Follow Lost kittens find their way home. Updates to follow.
--- Vol. 2 ---
Early Sunday, Oct. 9, 2011 ...
I hate to say it, never trust any doctor, vet or otherwise. I research everything and I'm dumbfounded how little some of them [...]

A kid gives his dad a tie for Father's Day. Dad says he already has a few hundred of them already and suggests giving it to someone who might need one.
The kid talks a walk, sees a jogger and flags him down in the middle of the street. He gives him the tie and says "Happy Father's Day."
Jogger says he isn't a dad. "Why would you [...]

Previously ......... The starting point: The Unemployment Chronicles, Vol. 1
--- Vol. 4 ---
Later that week ...
Third restaurant I've been to where I ask if they're hiring and the manager says, "we're always looking for experienced waitstaff." The exact wording every time, all three places. You'd swear it's straight [...]

Every thought is with the kid
--- Vol. 1 ---
Saturday, Oct. 8, 2011 ...
Started writing this last night but hit a wall, woke up on the couch and the game was over. The one game I wanted to see all week -- picked it up bottom of the 7th, fell asleep in the 8th with runners on base. Game 5, playoffs. It was a good game too, [...]

Chaz Bono. We need to talk.
If you're going to be a man, you need to act like one.
We welcome you and couldn't be happier to have you on our team. Maybe a bunch of us should meet up at Hooters sometime, say, Monday Night Football? They usually have a special on wings and cheap drafts. Bears/Eagles up next. Are you in a fantasy [...]