Welcome to the Musings of an Eccentric Diva. My motto is: Giving Hollyweird movies the finger one movie at a time. Enter at your own risk (insert evil Vincent Price laughter here).

Saturday, September 29, 2007

OOPS I DID IT AGAIN!!!!

Sire O'Reilly has once again opened his mouth and inserted his foot in. He is under fire for mentioning the grand time he had at Sylvia's Restaurant in Harlem. He said quote"There wasn't one person in Sylvia's who was screaming, 'M-Fer, I want more iced tea". I'm sure this was an accurate observation but it didn't need to be mentioned either. Bill knows the Black community is gunning for him so anything he says regarding us will get a serious side-eye. He should've just shut up and digested his collard greens like any other patron, but in true asshole-ish fashion..he had to say this stupid shit. It is also said that he couldn't get over the fact the restaurant looked like any other New York City restaurant. Did he think the waitresses would come to the table dressed like Kizzy from Roots? Did he think the patrons would pull fiddles out of their work bags and dance a jig while waiting for their meals? Bill O'Reilly, I hope the time you go to Sylvia's the waitress serves you a nice tall glass of STFU.

Someone needs to call PETA immediately! I knew this world was coming to an end, people are now making shoes out of stray cats...damn shame! They even used the poor fucker's flea collar for a strap. These boots makes my eyes bleed. The dollar store rhinestones complete the fug. Why must I cry?

A group of freaky acid-dropping, Satan-worshipping hippies led by “Indian” Horace Bones descends upon a small town. They find an abandoned house to seek refuge in to practice their rituals. The gang wreaks havoc on the townsfolk, leaving them frightened. After an older gent’s granddaughter was roughed up by the gang, he decides to take matters into his own hands. He confronts the gang and is nearly beaten to a pulp and forced to take LSD. His grandson exacts revenge by shooting a rabid dog and injecting the infected blood into meat pies he sells to the hippies. Once the gang gets a taste of those pies…all “hell” breaks loose. No more spoilers from me y’all!

This has got to be one of the funniest, over-the-top, horror movies I’ve ever seen in my life. I truly laughed until I hurt. The rabid “hippies” were a multicultural motley crew of nonsense….there were a few White ones, the “Indian” leader, a Black dude, an Asian chick, a pregnant chick, a deaf mute HOLY SHIT! The racial stereotypes were so in-your-face that I couldn’t help but to cackle with evil glee. This is supposed to be a “zombie” movie but they moved entirely too fast and no flesh was eaten in the film which is typical zombie behavior. The infected folks just became very violent and lashed out with axes, tree branches, electric knives, and anything else they could get their hands on. You can tell who was infected by the froth coming from their mouths….it looked like either shaving cream or Alka Seltzer tablets, tres cheesy. For a *B* grade film, the acting was pretty good. The grandson did a great job for such a young actor and the old Asian chick was truly the scariest thing in the film, she gave me the creeps! It was apparent that the actors, especially the zombies, were either stage actors or dancers, their moves were so precise. There were some scenes that really made no sense, for example one of the hippies flee after her group members begin to transform, she encounters a group of construction workers and instead of asking for help….she BOINKS them all! WTF? The construction workers are also a part of one of the most hilarious episodes in the film….the scene looks like a Village People revival. The Black man looked more like a crack fiend than a zombie, oh wait….they are one in the same lol. Overall this was a great discovery and I enjoyed it so much, I plan to purchase it. This one ain’t suitable for all audiences; there are some animal killings (damn rats ugh!) and plenty of nudity and gore, although the gore is Film School 101 lame-o.

Today is my son's 6th birthday HOORAY! He is the ONLY man in the world I would give all my money to. T-Man is a joy to have and I am thankful everyday that he came into my life. Happy birthday my precious angel *with your lil bad self lol*. Mommy loves you so much.

While vacationing in Brazil, a bus accident leaves American tourist Alex Trubituan (Josh Duhamel) his sister Bea Olivia Wilde), and their friend Amy (Beau Garrett) stranded in a remote location. Waiting for rescue they meet up with 3 other foreign tourists and decide to follow a foot trail into the woods. The crew discovers a beautiful hidden beach and a bar. They decide to indulge in the all the bar has to offer; drinks, dancing, and beautiful women. The next morning the crew wakes up on the beach to discover they have been drugged and robbed of all belongings including passports, jewelry, clothing etc. A kindly stranger named Kiko offers to help them find shelter until they can make it off the island. He suggests they hike to his uncle’s deserted cabin, which would require a 10 hour foot trip through the jungle. Before finding the uncle’s cabin, the crew again finds fun and adventure in the waterfalls and in a very cool underwater cavern. Once they reach the cabin, things take an ugly turn. Will they make it out alive or will they become jungle food? No more spoilers from y’all!

I read many reviews of this film before I actually viewed it. I don’t really see why it was dogged out by the critics. It was no worse than the other garbage “horror” films that Hollyweird has cranked out lately. Same scenario… stupid horny kids doing stupid shit and paying the price for it. These films make White people look just as bad as Soul Plane makes Black folks look. I will give this film an A for scenery, the shots of tropical Brazil were breathtaking, the only thing that sets it apart from your average teen horror flick. The suspense takes entirely too long to build, you are mainly forced to watch attractive people running around in bathing suits having fun…hell I could watch an episode of Baywatch for that. The ‘scares’ don’t start until the movie is just about over, the money shot near the end was a bit of a letdown, I was expecting to be grossed out of my mind. What I saw I could’ve watched on any of the medical dramas on The Discovery Channel. There is a really cool chase scene that takes place in the underground cavern but again, it is dragged out much too long. The biggest letdown was having the audience believe they were going to view a “horror” film. Had this film been categorized as a suspense thriller I think the reviews would have been more favorable. Do I really need to tell y’all not to watch this with the kids lol?

I know by now everyone has heard about Britney’s shitastic performance on the even shittier VMA Awards show. Why any adult still watches this crapola is beyond me…anyhoo. I had to view the video to see what in the world could this chile do to top all the other fucked up shit she’s done recently. What I saw was not nearly as bad as everyone made it out to be. They also kept referring to this “gut” she has now. Well let me tell you, I’ll take that ‘gut” she has anyday. Her performance was no worse than anything the former Badussycat Doll Nicole Sheringeraramala-lama-ding-dong or any other of the flavors of the month put in. It wasn’t typical Britney but she’s been out the game for a while. Don’t get me wrong, I ain’t defending this Travesty In Motion, she needs to be at home with her damn kids but the chick can’t move without the press breathing down her neck. If she would've had a great performance, they would have still ridiculed her for something. I’ve always found her to be stiff and her voice to be annoying so this was no surprise to me.

Now this video here was an exception. I loved the song *runs and hides*. She looked her trantastic best (if it were not for her children I would still think she was born with a shenis) and she danced her ass off for a YT chick. Come back to mediocrity Shitney.

The latest in Frankenstein Couture. This shoe was all the rage at this year's Transylvanian Spring Fashion Show (I kid, I kid). These boots are usually worn by sullen, unattractive teens who have a hankering to hang around the local Hot Topic store. Usually accompanied with Kool-Aid colored hair and vampire-esque clothing.