What should I name it? Please help!

I was hanging out with some new friends, messing around and joking about things we each used to do when we were younger. It was fun and all up until the point where every guy mentioned the certain nickname he invented for his “little buddy” back then. After that, I became too caught up with my own troubled thoughts. I never realized that naming your other head was such a common practice. My high school circle of friends never shared such information with me before.

Then I felt sad that I had missed out on this sacred male ritual and never had the chance to initiate the growth of my wee-wee into a wang properly when the time was right. I feel as guilty as a parent who has neglected his child all these years. Therefore, naturally I tried to appease myself and It with the help of my right hand but I wasn’t successful in cheering It up as It was too down with the blues. I think It may truly be upset with me.

So please, Realjockers, I urgently need your assistance in finding a creative name for my little buddy (I can’t keep calling it ‘It’). I searched for some names and thought that “Jackhammer” was quite a strong name. However, I couldn't help but wonder how many other Jackhammers there are out there and if It looked like a Jackhammer, which it doesn't. Perhaps sharing your own buddy’s name could give me some ideas?

Please help or else I might never enjoy an erection again.

P.S.You probably shouldn't include names that suggest a lack of size or skill. It is sensitive with such issues because the poor thing is vertically challenged and quite, um, inexperienced.