When you get there, look around: the best Asian girl to pick up will be the one wearing a hoodie and heels (there is always one). As she takes out her phone to tell you, you should make a nice comment about her phone flair (Asian girls always have some bedazzled jank hanging off our phones, usually a cartoon duck or a jade tiger). Asian girls will go on a date with anyone if she can tell a cutesy story about it later: "And then, after he saw my Keroppi keychain, he asked me out at Pinkberry! " STEP TWO: The First Date It doesn't matter where you take an Asian girl on a first date as long as you stick to the following topics of conversation: food, fashion, and making fun of other Asians ("So, your friends just stayed in and did math problems? However, no matter what you do, don't step on the yellow-fever land mine that is acknowledging the Asian fetish.Yes, we all implicitly know what's going on here -- why else did America go to war in two Asian countries last century? Us girls all like to pretend that we're your first Far East foray.Then we also take the time to tell you everyone who did pick you but you might have overlooked them. Let me pause my activity with your […] Success Story Hi May, thank you so much for such a great time and for helping me make connections! I’m happily in a relationship through you and can’t be happier with Sarah Y.

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, but Asian men are often left out of the discussion over interracial relationships entirely.

As one of my black female friends put it, "Asian men, along with black women, are probably the least desirable people."A conducted by researchers at Columbia University, which surveyed a group of over 400 students who participated orchestrated "speed dating" sessions, showed that African-American and white women said "yes" 65% less often to the prospect of dating Asian men in comparison of men of their own race, while Hispanic women said yes 50% less frequently.

STEP THREE: The Relationship If you get to the point now where you're dating an Asian girl, you better understand where she's coming from.

Given our immigrant roots, most Asian girls endure a latent insecurity about everything from our boobs to our patriotism (both things that are just slightly there). But if you're going to lock it down and marry your Oriental princess, you must know one final thing: in Chinese wedding traditions, the groom pays for the wedding.

So, as her white, Jewish (80% of the time), totally-secure-and-normal boyfriend, you better be prepared for when your girlfriend mistakes "soup or salad" for "super salad." And since Asians have eyes like gravy boats, her crying jags are bound to extend late into the night. STEP FOUR: Locking it Down If you've made it this far, then you know all the dirty secrets of dating an Asian girl. You know we pretend to love drinking, even though we turn into full-blown red-faced injuns when we do. (According to my mom, the tradition stems from the groom's family giving the bride's family a cow in exchange for her.) So, if you're going to marry an Asian, get ready to empty your pockets. Of course, because of this, my parents want me to marry a Chinese guy and my brother to marry a white girl.