Brand New

I just got married in July and inherited three step children, Ages 10,16 and 19.
I thought that this thing would be a piece of cake, I thought we all got along well until wedding day!!!
The oldest 2 gave speeches at the reception where they basically said "SHE" is taking our dad from us. Followed by purposely missing their ride home from the wedding so that my new husband had to leave the reception to take them home. From that moment I have been very resentful.I hate when they even come around. The 10 yr old lives with us. And that is going fine. But I really have hard feelings when it comes to the other two. I feel like they are always taking advantage of my husband. Right after we got married my husband tells me the 16 yr old is moving in.I flipped. Needless to say my reaction caused a problem in the marriage. She didnt end up moving in but I have now put my husband in an akward situation because he knows I really dont want them around.......

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Oh boy.... I hear what your saying, and I feel your pain. I have been married for a year and a half now, and our blended family consists of five boys. 20, 17, 14, are his children from his first marriage, then a 9 yr old from my first marriage, and we have an 8 month old together. The 20 year old is out of the house but we have the 17, and 14 yr olds 50% of the time. The two younger ones are full time. Their father and mother do not get along so he tries to be their friend letting them get away with things they shouldn't. I see how disrespectful the 17 year old is and I have called it out to my husband, but then it gets turned around on me just not liking them because their not mine. This marriage is extremely difficult when they're here, and I almost always wish I had a place of my own I could run to. It sad but everyday that they're here I ask myself if I can handle this for 2 more years. ( I'm assuming the 17 year old will move out.

I get accused of the same thing when I tell my husband that his kids are acting horribly &amp; being disrespectful. They are here every other weekend &amp; I absolutely dread it because I have to either bite my tongue about their behavior or say something &amp; hope my husband doesn't get ticked off. What makes it really difficult is since they know I am the one who will step up when one of them acts up, the oldest tends to come to me instead of her dad to do something about the other two when they act up. The oldest constantly complains that her dad won't do anything when she tells him things.

Oh and I too wish I had a place to run to when they're here but even my bedroom is overrun by them. I have no area of my own! Dad gets mad at me &amp; tells me I'm being mean &amp; selfish when I tell him I don't want them in our bedroom, that they have their own rooms. If I were to leave....even to go spend time with my kids....he takes it personally and says it's because I don't like his kids.