‘Wal-Mart for Jesus,’ aka Mardel, doesn’t sell Halloween costumes. They just have Christian “dress-up” stuff (seriously, I received an add in the mail yesterday). Halloween is too offensive. We don’t use that word. Halloween has demons and goblins and vampires and ghosts and other things that are contrary to Christianity.

But dressing up like a Christian crusader is not offensive. It’s okay to kill the infidels who don’t believe in Jesus like me.

We need to teach our kids that violence and war is fun and silly and goofy and light-hearted. And that a long time ago there was a nice and devoted group of people who tried to “to take back the Holy Land from the infidels.”

We need toto take back America from the infidels, too!

Let’s teach our kids to be soldiers for Jesus!

All that peace-making talk in the Sermon on the Mount just isn’t all that useful. I mean, really, who actually “turns the other cheek?” What good does that do us Christians? It certainly doesn’t get us ahead in the competition for prominence in today’s world. So I say we forget all that peace-making talk in the New Testament and turn back to the good ol’ days of war-mongering in the time of Joshua and the Judges! And rather than look to Jesus as our example, let’s look to the Medieval times where chivalry was the rule of the day!

careful disclaimer: I’m sure the people who created these costumes meant well, but, geez, we need to think these things through….