Editorial Caricature America Russia Use Syria

Syria is a popular land for America and Russia to squabble over, since there are very few natural resources there, making it a relatively safe testing ground for new politics and newer weapons. — Yasha Harari

“Top 10 Eagle and Bear jokes”

10. Tradition: When it comes to the Civil War in Syria, it wouldn’t be a proper four year Presidential cycle in America or Russia without a proper conflict somewhere in the Middle East.

9. Wealth: If wars were not fought for treasure, then it would be a lot harder for the Eagle and the Bear to profit from them.

7. Power: America and Russia are the world’s leading arms powers, because they understand that guns don’t make people powerful. People make guns powerful.

6. Democracy: If America and Russia are both allies and both democracies and both want peace in the Middle East, why don’t they just do what they always do best, together? Just impose it by force. That seems to work great so far.

5. Intelligence: The best agencies in the world can’t predict what will happen in Syria over the next three days, let alone the next three years, because their bosses don’t want the obvious, inconvenient truth to come out.

4. Protocol: Americans and Russians respect each other enough to know not to put their forces into direct conflict with each other. That’s what the people of the Middle East are for.

3. Populism: We the People of the bald eagle, shall have geopolitical tensions with the people of the bear, as long as there are political alliances and arms to be traded in the Middle East.

2. Fame: Nobody fights a war to become famous, even if lots of people became famous fighting wars.