Thursday, October 7, 2010

Sophie/10-7-10/Pamela

Sophie

Why do you keep after me Tom. I’m not some bloody hare pinned between the posts, now am I? I won’t be beholden to any man. You’re probably thinkin’ “Well after all, ain’t she beholden to all them blokes what comes here to see her?” I’m not you know. It’s just a kind of...arrangement. That’s all. It’s like buyin’ an apple at the grocer you understand. They gives me what I need to take care of the nipper and me–an somes for Gerte mind you–but they won’t have a piece of me.
(Long pause) I was just fifteen when I had the nipper. I was workin’ for a family in Gloucester-- Fetchin’ this, cookin that, tidying up after all those that was too lazy to put their own pot on to boil. I was grateful, mind, comin’ from the orphanage and all.
His name was Johnny, wasn’t it–bloody joke that is–when he found out I was gonna have the nipper he up and left without so much as a “by your leave.” Not a word ta nobody. Well, they wasn’t gonna have me around in that state, was they? I had ta make me own way then, didn’t I? Gerte was the only person what showed us the least bit a concern. Little Julie’s me only concern now. I don’t know that I’ll ever see the likes of a decent life, but she deserves better ya understand.
You don’t really love me Tom......it’s just...... ya never had no one be really kind to ya. Have ya Tom. It’s not me ya need. Ya want ta call me your own but...I won’t ever be yours, ya understand.
(Long pause) Thanks for fixin’ me shoes, luv......Tom......thanks.