That Was the Poop That Was

Kumbaya time: In the wake of the Tucson massacre, members of Congress try to be more civil. Sens. Tom Coburn (R-OK) and Chuck Shumer (D-NY) say they'll sit together for next week's State of the Union address. No word on whether they will hold hands ... Sidelined: Apple mogul Steve Jobs, 55, announces he's taking indefinite leave of absence for health reasons ... Quarterback Brett Favre, 41, announces retirement for being-over-the-hill reasons. Sources say he means it this time. No, honest ... Hey, nobody's perfect: The New Yorker reveals Rep.Darrell Issa (R-CA), in charge of investigating the Obama administration, has skeletons rattling in his own closet, including arrest for possessing unregistered gun and accusations of car theft and arson ... Reassuring: Natalie Portman, accepting Golden Globe award for best actress, tells the world that fiancé Benjamin Millepied "totally wants to sleep with me."

Tuesday, Jan. 18

What's on second: Chinese PresidentHu Jintao arrives in Washington for talks with President Obama. Bad puns inspired by old Abbott and Costello routine proliferate ... Brotherhood, schmotherhood: Gov.Robert Bentley of Georgia, in a Martin Luther King Day speech, says he regards only those who have "accepted Jesus Christ as their savior" as his brothers and sisters ... No mo' Joe: Sen.Joe Lieberman of Connecticut - once a Democrat, then an independent, now god knows what - says he will not run for re-election. Liberals everywhere pop open the bubbly ... We can only hope: Sarah Palin defends her use of the term "blood libel" to describe attempts to blame Tucson massacre on overheated right-wing rhetoric, says "They're not going to shut me up."

Wednesday, Jan. 19

Second Amendment remedies? New poll finds 13% of Tea Partiers think "violence against the current American governmentis justified." That's more than three times the rate for non-Tea Partiers ... Could be worse: Figures for December show Oregon's unemployment rate stayed steady at 10.6%, basically the same as it's been for a year ... Who wrote "O"? The big buzz in Washington is over who penned the controversial novel, a fictional (and unflattering) account of President Obama's 2012 re-election campaign. Speculation includes John McCain speechwriter Mark Salter, journalist Joe Klein and even Obama himself ... Tough tights to fill: Anne Hathaway chosen to play the role of Catwoman in the upcoming Batman flick, "The Dark Knight Rises." This reporter still likes what Michelle Pfeiffer did for a catsuit ... More Mayan Calendar strangeness: Herd of 200 cows found mysteriously dead in Wisconsin ... In other meaningless news: House Republicans (and three Democrats) vote to repeal health care reform, vow to replace it with something better; nature of "something better" not specified.

Thursday, Jan. 20

Buh-bye, Doitchen: Federal prosecutors recommend two years in prison for Doitchen Krastev, alias "Jason Evers," for passport fraud and identity theft. Unfortunately there's no penalty for being a total dick when he ran the OLCC in Bend ... Good news: Survey by Public Policy Polling finds Fox News is the most distrusted news network, with 46% saying they don't trust it. Bad news: 42% say they do trust it ... Pulling out: Taco Bell announces it's withdrawing ads from "Skins," the steamy new MTV show about horny high schoolers. Which is Taco Bell's prime demographic, right?

Friday, Jan. 21

Right-wing beat: Police seize "a large amount" of weapons from home of Arlington, MA, comic book retailer Travis Corcoran, who commented "one down, 534 to go" on his blog after the shooting of Rep. Gabrielle Giffords. Congress has 535 members ... Francis Piven, a 78-year-old City University of New York professor, says she's been getting death threats since Glenn Beck started calling her an "enemy of the Constitution" ... Tea Party activists call for recall of Pima County Sheriff Clarence Dupnik for saying, in wake of the Tucson massacre, that Arizona has become "a mecca for prejudice and bigotry" ... Mass media beat: MSNBC's Keith Olbermann announces today's show will be his last; Comcast denies his removal has anything to do with his liberal politics. Uh, okay ... Mayan Calendar beat: Astronomer Brad Carter says the star Betelgeuse could explode into a super-nova as early as 2012, giving Earth (temporarily) two suns. Tanning salon stocks plunge.

Saturday, Jan. 22

Patch-up job: City of Bend will ask voters to okay $27 million bond issue for street improvements. Maybe the Crater Lake-sized potholes in this reporter's street finally will get filled ... Kiss and make up: High-tech entrepreneur and former governor candidate Allen Alley unanimously elected chairman of Oregon Republican Party, signaling an end to party's fractiousness. For now ... Poop from Tinseltown: Anthony Hopkins reportedly set to play Alfred Hitchcock in biopic about the great director's filming of "Psycho." He'll have to gain about 180 pounds ... Crazy and crazier: Snorting or shooting up with chemical concoctions legally sold as "bath salts" is latest drug craze in the South; effects include terrifying hallucinations and violent behavior ... Scam City: Huffington Post ranks Washington, DCNumber One on list of "Most Scammed States in America," based on number of fraud and identity theft complaints - no surprise there. Oregon comes in at Number 7.

Sunday, Jan. 23

Breaking up is hard to do: Eugene Wolstenholme, majority owner of Redmond kit airplane maker Lancair, sues former majority owner Joseph Bartels, charging he used corporate funds to buy his home and personal airplane and pay $5,000-a-month retainer to his law firm ... Her mouth's in the ring: Ultra-right-wing Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R-MN) hints of presidential bid, announces she will deliver her own rebuttal to President Obama's State of the Union address on Tuesday ... Cat-like quickness: 337-pound Green Bay defensive tackle B.J. Raji's pick-six seals 21-14 win over Chicago Bears. In other NFL action, Steelers beat NY Jets 24-19 to earn chance to face Raji in Super Bowl ... Another reason to live in Oregon: Scientists warn "megastorm" likely to hit California within next 100 to 300 years, bringing hurricane-force winds and up to 10 feet (yes, feet) of rain.

More by Source Weekly

While many of us are going to be slaving over stoves, stuffing, brining or the always fun deep-frying our butterball turkeys this Thursday, there are options for those who don't feel like sticking their hands in the cavity of a 20-pound bird or cutting up the neck to stew some gravy. For all of you who would rather have a skilled chef prepare your fixins, here's a list of restaurants serving Thanksgiving Dinner, courtesy of Visit Bend.