With water flooding Nashville, oil flooding the Gulf of Mexico, and combustible SUVs appearing in Times Square, it's a good thing a bunch of bike dorks are getting together to ignore the world's problems and focus entirely on issues like brakeless fixies and the cultural significance of "shants." If you're considering attending but are teetering on the fence like Danny MacAskill in the opening scene of that famous video, perhaps this recent local TV show will whet your appetite and help you make a final decision. (Of course, I sincerely hope you will attend. However I should warn you that the "epic" hair with a host underneath it will not be part of the summit, so I realize that leaves little incentive.) Assuming you ultimately decide not to attend but would still like to know what happens at the summit, here's an advance transcript of my contribution to the panel:

Do cyclists need to rehabilitate their public persona?

Yes.

To what extent should safety trump convenience and style?

Until someone invents some kind of lever-actuated contrivance that supplies additional stopping power to the wheel of a bicycle, cycling will never be safe.

Will protected bike lanes segregate cyclists?

Only if they're racist.

Is Critical Mass a boon or a liability for the bike movement?

Liability.

What can be done about sexism in the cycling community?

I don't know, but I'm sick of being treated like an object.

This may very well be enough for you, in which case you can stay home, but if you do attend I will also devalue your copy of my book by writing in it:

I must say I'm squarely in the DeAndre Sims camp when it comes to my feeling about texting and cycling. By the way, the printed word does not do Sims's quote justice, and for the full impact you need to hear it live (at 0:28 seconds):

If only I had musical production skills I would sample and build an entire song around what is undoubtedly the most engaging cycling-related quote ever aired on public radio. Maybe Abdominal and I can "drop" a "collabo:"

If this were to happen, I'd probably adopt a new moniker for the project and call myself "DJ ReSkin:"

ReSkin® is applied to the perineum. The perineum is the piece of skin between the anus and the genitals. The perineal area contains sweat glands,hair follicles and sebaceous glands that can often become irritated by rubbing, leading to an infection.

Of course, the reason ReSkin makes an appropriately "street credulous" DJ name is that, for one thing, it suggests that you're "skin friendly, painlessly removeable, washable and reusable"--all of which are prized qualities in the rough-and-tumble world of bicycle-themed hip-hop. Also, it implies you get into people's pants.

According to the review, "they're incredibly fast wheels, being ridiculously quick to accelerate and giving you the feeling of a constant tailwind on the climbs," and believe it or not there really are people who will read this and believe it. Wheels cannot be fast. Riders can be fast; wheels can be round. As far as the "tailwind on the climbs" thing goes, promising that a piece of equipment will make you climb better is the bicycle marketing equivalent of selling "natural male enhancement."

Unfortunately, though, given the increasing cost of equipment, the average amateur racer is becoming inured to ludicrous prices. When the Mavic Ksyrium first came out it cost something like $700 and was the pinnacle of exotica--now a $700 wheelset is considered a "training wheel." To put the price of the Lightweights in proper perspective, consider that for the same price you could buy almost nine fixed-gear Softrides (as forwarded by another reader):

-Fits someone between 5'7" and 6'1". There is no down tube to measure, but I ride 51cm and this is just barely fits. The carbon fiber seat stay can be adjusted another ~1.5" higher. The manufacturer's sticker underneath the seat says that it can handle a 200lb rider at maximum on flat roads and 180lbs on "all-terrain"

-700c wheels

--Front wheel: Spinergy Rev X tubular carbon fiber

--Rear wheel: Purchased separately from a wheel builder. Paul hub with 32 DT spokes and a 16 tooth cog with lock ring. Velocity Deep V rims. The rear wheel has only been ridden 50 miles tops.

-110mm 48 tooth Beck Single Speed chain ring

-EPXtras fork

-ITM 90mm stem

-White single-speed chain

-WILLING TO SELL ALL BUT THE WHEEL SET FOR $300

Don't hesitate to ask any questions you may have. Feel free to call between 6-10pm on weekdays and anytime on weekends. You can text or e-mail me anytime as well.

858-663-[deleted]

With nine fixed-gear Softrides you could assemble the most effective Burrito Distribution Force "hipsterdom" has ever seen. Thanks to the carbon beam, you could keep a safe distance from the homeless and simply catapult the burritos in their general direction. Sure, there's a 200lb rider weight limit, but given the fact that few "hipsters" weigh more than 100lbs that leaves an additional 100lbs for burrito-hauling.

I enjoyed this video. Not only did it include footage of a GTSNF (or "Gratuitously Track-Standing Nü-Fred):

But I also learned about Minneapolis's "Trail Watch:"

As Laura Kling explains it, "We look out for litter, drunks, and suspicious characters. If we see any of those things, we just move them off the trail." This is exactly the sort of thing we need here in New York City; just add "beards" to that list and a local "Trail Watch" program would finally render the Williamsburg Bridge bike path 100% "hipster"-free.

In the meantime, though, New Yorkers are not interested in getting rid of "hipsters;" instead, they're hitting on them:

"Carbonsports assigns a 120kg (265lb) rider weight limit across the board."Because what riders over 200lbs (like me) really need is $4,000 wheels to go faster.... Perhaps that should read "Carbonsports assigns a 120kg (265lb) rider weight limit across the board, as people over 190lbs are more likely to be people with disposable incomes high enough to throw $4,000 at some wheels"It strikes me that the price of wheels must be approaching the cost of liposuction. Perhaps this would be a better option for us heavy weights as it would make all our bikes lighter.

That bike advocate lady in the video is pretty annoying. She's pretty much a walking cliche, yet she has a way of presenting all of "her ideas" as though they're super profound with all of the up-talking. I bet that the two biggest "holidays" on her calendar are bike to work day & solstice.

I bet that she's the one who requested that "gender issues" be discussed at that forum. Every time I hear the word "gender" used in reference to anything other than romance language articles, I automatically disagree with whatever the person is saying.

Oh, Snobby, its like Christmas on Cinco de Mayo! I received my book today! And thanks to you, I will be sure to "avoid some current cycling fashions that Don't Always Make Sense". Many thanks for the capitalization. It caught my eye right away and saved me from an awful fashion fauxpasway.

As for the ascendancy of MPLS as the cycling city of the US, I'm a bit confused. Just what kinds of favors did the august editors of Bicycling receive on their tour? Just came back from a three-day visit, and I was wondering where all the cyclists were. Maybe I was just in the wrong part(s) of town. Maybe May 1st is the wrong time of year since it's only cool to do your biking when there's ice on the ground. Just didn't see that many bikes.

On the other hand, I think I'd rather ride in springtime Minneapolis than in Portland any time of the year, just given the mileage it puts on my patience with 'bike culture.' Perhaps the best place to ride isn't necessarily where there are a lot of people riding.

the BIT video was pretty good. Buckwheat, Bill Mahr, Henny Youngman and a hot chick. The transportation alternative girl, while annoying, was quite attractive. I have to ask Snob, did you hit that? You could have. Just saying.

We in 612 are as confused about the rating from Bicycling as the rest of y'all. Nary a mention for years and then, WHAM! #1. Not that I really give a hoot at what the folks at Bicycling say about much anyway. Remember, these are the guys that ignored mountain bikes until it was too late and then ignored utility cycling until just about breakfast this morning.

Bike Snob The Book, Chapter 5, “Why is everyone trying to kill me?, really hit home with me. I’ve lived all of those emotions, after 10 years and 28,000 mile of commuting. I’m using ‘I don’t care’ and ‘I REALLY don’t care’, counting to 10 and deep breaths. The one time I loogied in a motorist’s face and then punched him, made me feel bad and take a different route for 2 months. I don’t alley cat, but I did that day.

I've been missing the Kara Goucher comments. I was starting to wonder if she'd taken ill or something.

Hugs to Kara, and her hotness..

So, if I may, the question about, "is cycling sexist?", just strikes me as silly. The answer is yes, but it's the wrong forum.

Maybe, I'm just not understanding it the way others do, but it's kinda like asking, "why is there dirt on my fresh spinach?" With spinach, it's because of where it comes from: the dirt. By turns, 'bike culture' may come across as 'sexist', for the simple fact that it is a product of American society as a whole.

Sadly, American Culture is still sexist. It works against women most commonly in the workplace, and most commonly for men, at home.

What happens if you're wearing a Re Skin and you get taken out by a car. You know how they remove your clothes when they get to the hospital and put you in a robe?Well when the nurses find that in your pants you're definitely going to get a nickname for the duration of your stay. Or they might put you in the urology ward with a catheter.

Salty,The pervasiveness of sexism aside, I do feel that the cycling world (ok, by that I'm meaning mostly media that covers cycling, but also the general feeling I have from groups of cyclists I ride or race with) is especially backward when it comes to including, nay, even simply accommodating, women and men equally.

Maybe I'm being optimistic, and it's really that the cycling world just isn't as good at pretending.

Either way, the 'women specific' strain of cycling advocacy is a double-edged sword (oops--phallic symbol--see what I mean??).

I've seen great results from women-only cycling clubs, but the 'women-specific' marketing crap most advertisers paste onto some of their stuff can fall far short of inspiring at best, and be kind of insulting at worst.

Then again, this is just some guy talking. The fish never knows that it is wet.

On Point? Congratulations! As you're riding that new gold plated bike up the Commonwealth Ave. bike path to the studio (I hope you're not phoning it in), please take notes so we locals can enjoy the scathing review.

Anyone else find it ironical that the same dudes who used to swear by fixed gear bicycles (to the annoying point of hipster martyrdom) have now sworn-off fixies in favor of vintage road bikes? Did they do this in order to not be considered "trendy"? Well hey, at least this scene is still dedicated to their clothing.

They have a trail watch in Minneapolis (or MPLS, kind of YWHW in Minneapolitaneese) because they took a popular bike route, sunk it into a lonely ditch and locals have jobs shoving stuff into a passing bikes spokes, stealing from the bleeding dazed and crashed rider and occasionally beating the daylights out of them. And it is not just the cops that do this, like in NYC.

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About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!