Mitski’s Talkhouse Weekend Playlist starts off with an important question: when was the last time you took yourself drinking? She takes us on a journey through the stages of treating yourself to a ceremonious and therapeutic drinking session, soundtracked by songs that were on MTV when you were a kid, jazz classics and an Elton John song you just have to listen to when you’re drinking alone.

When was the last time you took yourself drinking? I’m not talking sipping wine while getting work done, or going to a bar for a mindless beer, though both those things are nice in their own right. I’m talking about a ceremonious, “let’s have a proper drink and see what happens in our brains” therapeutic drinking session. Please note that you don’t actually have to drink alcohol, I myself was strictly sipping tea while experimenting with this playlist. The key is simply to not multitask or do anything else while drinking, and instead to take yourself out on a date to your living room and/or kitchen table, when no one else is home and you can blast music, and get reacquainted with you, your own best frenemy.

Al Kooper — “Season of the Witch”
It is essential that we start with the al kooper version and not the original, because it is an extra wanky 11 minutes. We’re pouring the drink and setting the precedent that we’re playing this playlist to groove, to feel good and privately mischievous, not to actually critically listen. Otherwise we are not the kind of people to seriously listen to a bunch of guys masturbating.

Thelonious Monk — “Smoke Gets In Your Eyes”
I know just now I bashed “jam” music which is essentially jazz, but jazz is amazing, so we’re listening to this next.

Charles Mingus — “Moanin'”
I love this song.

Young Thug — “Hercules”
Because subs are starting to feel really good about now, and the playful sense of abandon in Yung Thug’s voice is loosening you up. You’re nodding your head and maybe dancing a little. Go ahead no one’s around.

FKA twigs — “Mothercreep”
Because you’re loosened up and feeling a little sexy now, but in the alone way.

The Velvet Underground — “Venus in Furs”
Okay okay, so now you’re feeling sufficiently sexy and low, and FKA Twigs was good for that, but you don’t want to hear so many unfamiliar sounds and beats anymore, you just want to kind of relax and feel comfortably melancholy now. So let’s play a more familiar-sounding tune, maybe one you listened to one thousand times as a moody 8th grader.

Led Zeppelin — “That’s the Way”
Whoa whoa, you almost got a little too sad there, let’s get out of the dungeon and come above-ground to a more sunny, healthy kind of melancholy. The kind of sad that never actually considers suicide. Good ol’ Led Zeppelin with a good ol’ drink, for the good ol’ boy that you will never, ever be. Imagine how nice it must be to go through the world just believing that Led Zeppelin is the greatest band in the world.

Sixpence None the Richer — “Kiss Me”
Wooo! Oh my god you know this song! That’s right, it’s time to start playing shit that was on MTV when you were a kid and you know the (chorus) words to. You feel very sweet and nice.

Elton John — “Tiny Dancer”
Look, if you’re drinking alone, at some point you just have to take it there.