Month: August 2016

To pretend that I did not google “opossum vs possum” before writing this would be mendacious. Those sinister and ugly critters that line my hometown roads at night are, factually speaking, opossums. I–and most of America–however, refer to them as possums, and I shall do so for the remainder of this piece. The American (o)possum…

The NFL preseason just doesn’t do it for me. I don’t watch the games, I don’t enjoy the highlights, and, unlike with some other sports, I just find it difficult to get invested in positional battles to see who will make the final roster. As we say in New England, “In Bill We Trust,” and…

There’s a small amount of pride I feel in being able to maintain that I’ve never taken a study drug. Study drugs, for those outside the know, are prescription drugs for ADHD or narcolepsy (Adderall, Ritalin, Modafinil) that undiagnosed students–and now young professionals–take in order to improve their performance in class or at work. Having…

Catch Part 1 here in case you missed it. “FIRE FIRE FIRE!!! GET OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW!!!!!” Yelled an irate Petty Officer Garza. We all were in a daze and extremely confused as to what was happened but all repeated in unison, “FIRE FIRE FRE!” as we scrabbled to get our go fasters (sneakers) on and…

Alcohol is one of the few requirements of a social life that is almost impossible to eliminate, no matter how much it may make sense or be beneficial to do so. To eliminate alcohol would be to shut off the most heavily travelled avenues of human fraternization. Alcohol is the ice-breaker, the fire around which…

A couple months ago, James created this website and I drafted my biography in the “About” section before writing my first piece. These few paragraphs describe us to an extent, but it’s much easier to go for humor when you’re introducing yourself to an audience that doesn’t really know you and, in practice at least,…

I spent the weekend moving fellow Aardvarkian, James, to NYC to begin a new and exciting chapter in his life when something hit me. His mother was doing her usual “last minute” motherly things, like making his bed for the final time, when I looked that and thought, “It is a wonder that we use…

The other night, while the boys were out, politics came up, and how dangerous that was! We at the Aardvark, for the most part, are like minded people. However we can stray a bit and here goes Uncle Doogs!! Our dangerous topics of politics is not nearly as dangerous as who I think the Democratic…

In recent days, the Hillary Clinton campaign has sought to reach out to Independents and Republicans to build an anti-Trump coalition that reaches across party lines. It strategically makes sense. Polling suggest she has Democrats secured—and any holdouts that haven’t been swayed yet aren’t all that likely to come around in the next 3 months….

So today I was pondering my prolonged absence from the Aardvark and why it may have come about and then it hit me: Big Brother. For those unfamiliar with the show, it consists of maybe 16 or so mid-twenty-somethings moving into a house next to a studio in LA (I presume it’s LA) for the…

Uncle Doogs, tuning back in from One Aardvark World Headquarters. This time I do not share the pleasure of being flanked by James or Pat, for I am here alone. It is a sobering experience spending some time away alone without some of your closest friends around. Hell they aren’t even on the same landmass…

Fighting and hockey: A marriage seemingly impervious to divorce. Fighting in hockey is, and has become even more of, a highly contested and controversial union. If I had to boil down the issue (to a point so distilled that it discourages lengthy, circumventive discourse–the type of discourse you’re about to read), it’s one of barbaric…