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I will be doing a series over the next several blog posts about; Why people don’t change their story. For the purpose of our series, I’ve identified 8 key reasons…Here they are in no particular order.

Incorrect view of Humility

Fear of failure or success

Blame circumstances

Lack of Vision

Allowing the wrong Influences

The Trap of Perfection

Trying to “go-it” Alone

Lack of Focus

Reason #1:

We often have an incorrect view of Humility

I am completely convinced that one of the main reasons we don’t change our story is because we underestimate our value to the world…we have a false sense, or incorrect view of Humility.

Humility is NOT thinking less of ourselves than we should, or seeing our value as not important…A more accurate view of humility is Knowing our true self and understanding that our Creator has given us gifts to share with the world. The definition that I offer is a compilation a several sources. Humility is: Seeing ourselves as God sees us, and understanding that our gifts flow through us and not from us. I believe our God has a mission for each of us, and the gifts that He’s blessed us with are the tools to accomplish the mission.

We often try so hard to have humility that we loose sight of our incredible gifts. We don’t want to appear to be prideful, haughty, or egotistical, so we downplay, overlook, or refuse to acknowledge that we are amazing – each of us have been gifted to serve others. Consider this; when our Creator gifted us, those gifts were not given to us for us…they were given to us to serve others, in effect, our gifts are really a gift to the world.

In his book “It’s Your Call”, Author Gary Barkalow says…”humility is seeing that you’ve been given something extraordinary that others will need…You have been given something glorious that the world needs, don’t diminish and disregard it, Receive and offer it as a gift from God to you and for others” Pg. 182

Let’s not let a false sense of humility stop us from living the story we were created to live, we need to share our unique giftedness with the world, that is precisely why we have it in the first place. When we share our gift, we may put someone on the path to changing their story, when we Change Our Story, We Change Our World!

We’re all writing a book, making a movie or creating a play…we may not have a title, outlines, credits, or a table of contents, but new chapters and scenes are being written every single day, and the most exciting part is that it’s a true story. It’s a true story, because it’s your story…It’s Your Life Story!

I almost hesitate to offer this quote because it’s been used so often, but Shakespeare knew what he was talking about when he said “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women are merely players”…he was right! Everything we do is a permanent scene in the story of our life, and it will have permanent impact on someone else.

Have your ever read a great story, or watched a movie that impacted you so much that you couldn’t get it out of your mind? Has a particular story actually changed your perspective, or maybe even changed your life?… What if each of our stories are suppose to do Just That…Change Someone’s Life. I mean, when you think about it, why are each one of us living our stories anyway, other than to impact, influence, and relate to other people. I don’t know about you, but when I think of my actions that way, it makes me want to think twice about what I say, how I act, or even the expression on my face, after all…I could change someone’s life.

As I have made a major life change in the past 3 days, I’ve been reminded that we are always having impact. When you move from one chapter to another chapter, people will tell you things about your impact on them that they would never say during the course of your relationship otherwise, it’s almost like they’re at your funeral saying good-bye…it’s kind of un-settling actually.

As I begin this new chapter in my story, I am very aware that I am the author…I’m not in control of what happens to me, be I am in complete control of how I respond to events, circumstances, and the people in my story. I plan to be very Intentional about the impact I have on everyone I interact with. Like many of you, I am in the process of Changing My Story, and when You Change Your Story…You Change Your World!

Even Hungry Birds Keep Coming To An Empty Birdfeeder

Why do birds keep coming back to an empty feeder? I have four birdfeeders at my house that I keep full of birdseed all winter long, but come late spring I stop refilling them until the following fall. I’ve noticed something a bit interesting to me – the birds keep coming all summer long, even though the feeder is completely empty.

I will watch the same bird land on the feeder, examine it intently, and fly back to a tree branch 30 or 40 feet away. He will sit on the tree branch for a moment and then fly back to the same feeder and examine it again. This same bird will do this over and over again until I just stop watching…it’s probably doing it right now.

Why would a bird continue to waste it’s energy returning to something that is unfulfilling, and completely unsatisfying. It seems that he would realize that this opportunity has dried up, and he could better feed his family searching among the berries and seeds of the field…it’s got to be better than the store bought food anyway.

This bird has allowed something that was once a promising opportunity, trap him in a life of mediocrity that will eventually lead to his destruction if he doesn’t make a change soon.

Opportunity Or Trap?

This blog post was inspired by a piece I read in Andy Andrews book, Mastering The Seven Decisions. Andy says: “Way too many people trade out their freedom for security, and they don’t even realize it. There’s a difference between an opportunity you seize and a trap you walk into.”

Not every door that is opened for us is the right door for us to walk through, it could even be a trap. I am currently working with a gentleman who is considering a new position with a huge international company. It’s a GREAT opportunity…or is it? Here’s the deal – this move would require that he relocate and leave an area that he loves. This occupation is also 180 degrees from his true passion, which is medical research. But, But, But…It’s a GREAT opportunity, with GREAT benefits, with a GREAT income, with a chance to advance with the company, and probably move around some more.

This Is How We Get Trapped!

The problem with chasing the wrong opportunities is that they can trap us in a mediocre life, we’ve all heard the saying that Good is the Enemy of Great…and it’s true. We tend to settle for goodness to the point that we miss real opportunities for Greatness! When we pursue the wrong opportunities it’s kind of like boarding the Titanic…it looks so promising, but in the end it is so destructive. We long to be free and live the life we were born to live, and until we are, we are not really living fully alive.

Avoid The Trap!

Here are 3 quick tips to avoid the trap:

Know Yourself…Understand what you’re Passionate about, and what it is that you Value most. Uncover your Personality traits, Do you like to be around people? Do you enjoy a fast paced life or prefer a little more relaxed pace? Are you a big picture thinker, or would you rather focus on the details? Determine your Skills and Abilities.

Evaluate Every Opportunity…Run every opportunity through the filter of the answers to item #1. Is it an opportunity you’re passionate about, and does it align with your Values? Does it lend well to your Personality? Do you have the Skills and Abilities to carry out the functions of this opportunity with Excellence?

Will it meet the needs of your Family…Financially, Socially, Spiritually, Enviromentally, and Relationally?

If you Evaluate every opportunity against these criteria, you are well on your way to Avoiding the Trap, and being more Intentional About Your Legacy.

Believe It Or Not…It Can Happen

I was talking to a friend of mine just the other day and I was telling him about some of the new strategies I was planning on using to market my business. Now this friend also owns his own business as well so what he said next really struck me, he said this. “So you are growing your business to do more of what you hate”

I was blown away, I said to him immediately, no I am growing my business to do more of what I love. I told him, that I can’t wait to be able to share the message I have with more and more people, and help others realize that work doesn’t have to be a chore, work doesn’t need to be something we hate, but rather our work should be a reflection of who we truly are and what we were born to do.

The Sad Reality

The sad truth is, that whether you are an employee or an entrepreneur, if you hate your work it is impossible to live a full life. How can a person spend 50 or 60% of their waking hours doing something that they hate and truly be alive. I don’t think it is possible, but the real question is this. If you are not living fully alive, who then is missing out on the real you? Who is being robbed of your real personality, your passions, your dreams, your values. Who is missing out on your talents, your skills, and your abilities. I think it’s really quite simply everybody. The world is missing out on the real you, and you are missing the joy of living a full and abundant life, the life that you were born to live.

If YOU Hate Your Work

If you’re an employee who hates his job, or if you’re a worn out, beat up, overwhelmed, and overworked entrepreneur, it’s time to Get Your Life Back. It’s time to discover who you are, andwhy you’re here. It’s time to once again experience Joy, Confidence, Freedom, and a Great Smile to share with the world.

What Now?

If you want to talk about it, I’d love to chat with you at no charge Click Here and drop me a note…We’ll jump on the phone and chat for a while.

You Can’t Outrun It Anyhow!

Have you ever watched a cartoon chase? You know the ones I’m talking about, where one character is chasing the other, and the first one goes around a corner and quickly slips, unnoticed into a doorway while the chaser dashes past and keeps running down the hall. You can almost sense the first ones relief while he sits there trying to catch his breath, and planning his next move.

As a small business owner, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to just run away from my business, or at least hide from it long enough to plan my next move. I would think to myself…if I could just get far enough ahead to Think, to Breath, to Rest, and figure out what to do next.

The business I thought was my Dream, was now more like a Prison. It wasn’t like being between a rock and a hard place, at least there you know where you’re at. This was worse, because it was like being nowhere at all. Sounds kind of strange, but the fact is that I didn’t know where I was going, and really didn’t know how I even ended up where I was.

If You’re Still Reading This, You’ve Been There Too

The problem is, if we don’t address it, we’ll sabotage our business, and likely ourselves as well. I fought this battle on and off for years, only to realize that the business itself wasn’t really the problem, it had more to do with me. I had to face the fact that I needed to take a good hard look inside of myself, and it was the best thing I’ve ever done.

The Path To Getting Your Life Back

The first step towards living completely alive is getting to know yourself. You have to ask yourself why you went into this business in the first place. Was it just to make an income, or did you have a dream that was bigger than just money.

If you had a dream that was bigger than money, chances are you can recapture that vision, re-ignite that passion, and begin to experience real joy in your business again.

However, if money was the driving force for your business start up, it is also probably what is driving your frustration. You see to stay the course through thick and thin it takes a stronger passion than money. You may discover that you have no passion for your business at all, and it’s time to make a change, remember it starts by looking inward to clarify your strongest passions, and deepest desires.

If you can start your business from there, you will change your world and leave a Legacy of Greatness!

Have you ever had the opportunity to watch yourself, when you didn’t know you were looking? That’s sounds kind of creepy I know…let me try to explain what I mean.

Last weekend, my wife Karen and I were at a graduation open house, where someone was walking around with a video camera catching some live footage of this special day. The interesting thing is, that I was completely unaware of this video camera until I was shown a copy of it later.

As I watched myself on video, I found it strange to know that at the time I had no idea that I was being watched. It was a rare opportunity to see myself as the world sees me.

The first thing I noticed was that I am shorter and wider than I thought…my hair is grayer than I thought as well. But what really got my attention was how my approach and response to various people was so vastly different.

Some people I would approach rather aggressively with a big hug, a slap on the back, and lots of laughter, while others I would address slowly with a gentle embrace, and a tender word, or a handshake with a smile.

Why The Difference?

I felt like a private investigator as I watched myself interact with family, friends, and acquaintances. I couldn’t help but notice that I seemed to know how to approach each person in a way that would be most acceptable to them.

Could There Be A Business Lesson Here?

I think so. The reason I was able to give the proper greeting and response to so many people at this open house, was because I understood how most of them want to interact…you might say “I know how they’re wired”, and their response can be quite predictable.

In business our customers and clients are all wired differently as well, and if we take the time to understand them better the results can be staggering. Just think how much better you can serve your customer if you have a clearer sense of their unique perspective and what they would see as the perfect outcome.

We’ve all heard it said that “People do Business with people they Know, Like, and Trust” and there is no better way to earn that than to show them that you care, by getting to know them better. It’s all part of being more Intentional about our Legacy.

Have you ever felt like a Fraud?

I know that sounds like a strange question, but hear me out, and see if you can relate at all.

I sometimes find myself in a situation, where my Passions, and Desires are stronger that my Credentials. For example; I may have a strong desire to help a person through a difficult business situation, when I’m “elbow deep” in a similar situation myself, and I haven’t even figured it out yet. If I offer suggestions, counsel, and advice…am I a Fraud? If I offer to speak to a group of people about discovering their Vocational Calling, and making a Career Transition, while still in transition myself…am I a Fraud?

The reason I’m asking these questions is, because sometimes that’s the way I truly feel. You might say I’m in a battle between doing the work that currently pays the bills, and striving to be in the work I believe God created me for. Let me try to explain my situation.

I currently own and operate a Garage Door business as my primary source of income, but I truly believe God has called me, and is preparing me for Career Coaching, and Professional Speaking. So by day I sell, install, and service garage doors and openers, and by night I speak and help people with career choices and transitions. Who am I? A garage door guy who helps people in career transition, or a Speaker and Career Coach who happens to also sell garage doors.

Ultimately I think it’s my responsibility to be authentically me, in every role of my life. If God has called me to speak and coach, then I am to pursue excellence in that role, and know that He will be using me for His purposes. I discussed this with my good friend and coach Rob Clinton, who made a great suggestion, he said Randell “just be Great at what you do by day, and be Great at what you do by night”. As long as I’m serving with greatness It’s impossible to be a Fraud, even if I sometimes feel that way.

How about you…do you ever feel like a Fraud? If so, consider this; The passions and desires you have were placed in your heart by your Creator, and if you are seeking to change your world by fulfilling God’s plan, then you’re not Fraud…even if you don’t have all the credentials yet.

Striving for Greatness everyday, regardless of our current situation, is all part of being Intentional about our Legacy.

Who is walking around in your shoes? Or maybe you’re wearing someone else’s shoes. Either way, I’ll bet it’s not a perfect fit.

Have you ever wore a pair of shoes that just didn’t fit that well? After wearing them for a while, your feet started getting sore, blisters began to appear, your pace began to slow, and you finally had to stop to take them off.

We are pretty good at noticing when a shoe is not the right fit for us, and we make the necessary changes right away. We may even pass the shoes on to someone who they fit just right, but why don’t we do that when it comes to our careers? For some strange reason we’ll struggle for years in a career that doesn’t fit us.

When we are performing work that is not the right fit for us, it’s a little like wearing shoes that belong to someone else. We can do it for a while, but before long our pace begins to slow, we start feeling the pain of our “blisters”, we become agitated, frustrated, and begin to long for Fridays, and dread the thought Mondays. I know the feeling all to well because I’ve been there, and it’s a miserable place to be.

Working in a job or a career that is not the right fit for you effects every aspect of your life, including your relationships. It is nearly impossible to give yourself fully as a husband, father, or even a friend, if your work is draining your energies, and passions. The fact of the matter is, that we owe it to our Creator, our Families, our Community, and Ourselves to discover the work we were created to do, and begin taking steps towards that work.

Isn’t time we take off the shoes that don’t fit us, and give them back to the rightful owner, and put on the shoes that energize us to perform the work we love.

Lace up vocational shoes that fit you perfectly, the world will thank you for it, what a great way to be Intentional About Your Legacy.

Each and everyone of us, brings a unique perspective to any situation, problem, or circumstance. The skills, gifts, knowledge, and experience each of us have, bring valuable insight to help someone else deal with a problem, or move forward in their journey.

What about you…do you think you can offer someone valuable assistance to help with their situation? Or do you think your failures, and lack of experience prohibit you from helping someone take steps towards a better life?

You see, our mind set matters. If we don’t feel that we can help…we probably won’t, and someone will be missing out on our unique experience, that could be just the answer to their problem.

I struggle with this same issue myself. For some reason I often feel less qualified than others to respond to a post, or offer my advice. WHY?

I think it’s because I know my failures, I can’t even answer my own questions, why would I think I could answer their’s. Other people always seem to say the right things, and my advice seems so insignificant.

BUT, the FACT of the matter is, that someone needs my advice, and someone needs your advice too. What if someone is going through something that you just went through yourself. Whether you handled your own situation well or not, your input for them could have massive impact, and determine their success in the matter.

Don’t ever minimize your ability to help someone else, because no one has your exact experience, or qualifications, and that may be precisely what that person needs to move forward.

I met a friend of a friend yesterday, his name is Kevin. Of course I shook his hand, and said what we all say…Hi Kevin, “It’s Nice To Meet You”

The fact of the matter is, that at that moment I really wasn’t sure yet if my meeting him was going to be a good experience or not, but within about 15 seconds, I knew it was going to be more than just nice to meet Kevin…It was going to be a great experience.

Kevin is one of those guys that truly cares about other people. He doesn’t tell you he cares, you can see and feel he cares. He’s the type of guy that you want to know more about, but he is so busy learning who you are, that he isn’t talking about himself.

I left our short meeting, anxious to meet Kevin again soon, so I could learn more about him, and why he is the way he is.

This encounter has me wondering if “I’m Nice To Meet”? Do people want to learn more about me? Would someone want to be more like me?

I don’t want to be selfish, but I want people be interested in who I am, be cause they see that I am truly interested in them. Zig Ziglar says “you can have anything in life you want, if you help enough other people get what they want”.

That’s not a selfish statement, because the focus is on helping, and serving others. I believe if we practice putting other peoples interests before our own, meeting us won’t just be Nice, it will be Unforgettable .

Are You Worn Out, Frustrated, Confused…Ready To Change Your Story?

Your Life is meant to impact other people's lives, and it is whether you know it or not, so why not impact them in the most positive way possible. By Living the Story you were designed to LIve! Start Living your best Story in your Career, Your Marriage, Your Spiritual Walk, Your Finances, and your Fitness...It's Time To Change Your Story. Are You Ready?