Life's Vanity Metrics: 9 Things You Track That Don't Matter

“If a measurement matters at all, it is because it must have some conceivable effect on decisions and behavior. If we can't identify a decision that could be affected by a proposed measurement and how it could change those decisions, then the measurement simply has no value.”

—Douglas W. Hubbard

In the startup world, there’s a damning phrase called “vanity metrics,” which refers to measurements that look good but are not predictive of success. The opposite term would be a key performance indicator (KPI), or a metric that accurately reflects progress or value created. Yet what is meaningful for one company may merely look meaningful to another, so accurate measurements must always be personal.

Distinguishing between vanity metrics and KPIs led me to think about how we measure our lives, what’s truly meaningful, and what’s merely done “for show.”

Calories: I was told to eat less and exercise more because it’s “all about calories in and calories out.” For most of my life, I played that game, was constantly hungry, and failed miserably. Then, I learned about how food affects hormones — and my life changed. My body fat decreased. My muscle mass increased. My sleep, sex drive, mood, and focus all dramatically improved. It’s not that calories don’t matter, but many other things matter far more.

Steps: This is a revered statistic of the current “quantified self movement,” and it makes sense when you consider how easy steps are to track. In reality, steps are kind of like IQ. The “points” merely measure the thing itself. Taking 5000 steps versus 2000 steps only means you took more steps. That doesn’t make you healthier or slimmer.

Vacation Days: When work doesn’t suck, you don’t need an allotment of days to temporarily detach from reality and live a little. Employees who are counting down the days till their next vacation need to get new jobs. Employers: if your employees can’t wait for vacation, create a better environment or get new employees. Like sick days, vacation days should be given with maximum flexibility and used at the employee’s discretion. It shouldn’t matter if an employee takes 25 vacation days or 10, as long as he provides ample value.

Hours Worked: Most people like to claim they endure long work weeks because it makes them sound dedicated and important. The joke’s on them. Busyness doesn’t create value. In fact, it largely hinders it. All that time at the water cooler, in meetings, or blankly staring at a screen doesn’t matter. What matters is value created. By insulating yourself in your office, you’re missing out on lots of inspirational material out in the real world. The more value you can create in less time, the better.

Church Attendance: Exploring your relationship with the divine, or lack thereof, is crucial for long-term fulfillment and happiness. But going to church is like heading to the office — it merely creates an opportunity for productivity and says nothing about your true progress. Tracking your attendance against someone else’s is simply giving you, well, a “holier than thou” attitude.

Number of “Friends”: Deep and meaningful relationships are tremendously important and rare. They’re built on massive effort, long periods of time, and challenging conflict and support. Your Facebook friends, LinkedIn connections, Twitter followers, cocktail party charmers, bar buddies, and conference peeps can provide a great funnel to identify friend material, but they’re just not that meaningful. You’re no longer tracking friends; you’re tracking acquaintances.

Accomplishments: Some of the people I respect most don’t have college degrees and haven’t won prestigious awards. Conversely, I’ve met plenty of highly educated and highly decorated idiots. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with relishing a job well done, but remember that your accomplishments aren’t your identity.

Clubs: Someone once told me, “Country clubs have the highest concentration of a-holes on earth.” While I can’t verify that statement, I can say that belonging to a club of any sort doesn’t make you special. It means you value a specific activity, like golf, or want to appear to do so. (And anyone who belongs to a country club can tell you that simply going to a golf course doesn’t make you a great golfer.)

Stuff: As Will Rogers said, “Too many people spend money they earned…to buy things they don’t want…to impress people that they don’t like.” Your identity is not found in your house, car, phone, or clothes. If you derive value from those things and accept the opportunity cost associated with them, buy them. If not, don’t. Either way, they don’t matter to anyone but you.

Ultimately, what we measure matters. These stats enable us to quantify progress, clarify our efforts, and continue to grow. But perhaps the real lesson lies in refusing not to obsess over every metric, including the ones we shouldn’t be measuring in the first place. I think Albert Einstein said it best: “Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts.”