The inconvenient truth is that the consensus of credentialed science fictionists unambiguously declares that tornadoes unleashing shark attacks will be coming to a city near you sooner than you think. Though the denial machine continues to endanger us all through their cavalier rejection of biometeorological climate change, the evidence—as presented in these important pre-enactment documentaries the last two summers on SyFy—overwhelms and frightens. Yet, industry-funded studies suggesting a hopelessly divided science-fiction community recalcitrantly persist.

Clearly, the denial machine will harp upon Sharknado 2’s minor mistaken inclusion of tiger sharks from the tropics in Manhattan to discredit the much larger issue of shark-wielding tornadoes. But delaying legislative action because of such small inaccuracies imperils the planet’s survival. The time for debate and dissent has ended. We can either do what the best science fictionists tell us to do to prevent sharknadoes, or we can die. It’s that simple.