I have to tell you that today I did nothing but stare at this photoshopped image. I know it’s photoshopped because of the trixels. But that’s besides the point. What is the point is this: the quondam banana tastes nothing like a banana. It can’t taste anything like a banana, I’m sure of it – well, almost sure of it,

because, to be honest, I want the quondam banana to taste a little like a banana. And maybe, just maybe

the layer of folate that you see between the orange peel and the orange could actually be a layer of banana. I don’t know why, but I’d like to think that the orange center is wrapped exclusively with the soft banana goodness that has won a permanent place in my heart. If that is the case, if this is in fact a banana and an orange and not a quondam banana, then and only then, would I eat the shit out of this fruit.