This, my friends, is what throws me for a loop. It’s why I have such a hard time letting go.

He called today, while the propane heater guy was here, so we didn’t get to talk much. But he mentioned he was reading “The Purpose Driven Life” as it was being given out free at the chow hall. He said it’s making some of his questions clearer, the answers too. He then suggested we read it together and have a book discussion through email. We have two copies here, along with the journal. My dad sent them when we lived in Hawaii and we never got past the first chapter together because of the move to VA, followed shortly by Sweet Daughter’s birth and the worst of my depression.

He said, “I’m realizing it’s not all about me.” Just when I think I know you was my reply. “How can you know me when I don’t even know myself?” he asked.

He then went on to say that staying together for the kids was a start, that he did want to stay with me and work through things together.

Why can’t he be an ass 100% of the time. I’m like a lab rat- rewarded sporadically only increases my hope that it will happen again.