My car wouldn't start tonight. I'm supposed to be driving home (the the southern US) Wednesday afternoon. There's no one that can jump my car, so I can't determine if the battery is a problem. I've made the problem worse by assuming that I'll get the car towed to the repair shop half an hour away, spend $50-$80 on cab fare to pick it up and then be unable to take my trip home.

My sister-in-law asked if I wanted to see Ke$ha at the state fair a few months ago (shut up, haterz) and I said yes and forgot about it. She texted me today and asked if I still wanted to go, it's in two weeks. Now that it's so close, I really don't want to spend the $40 for the ticket, plus getting into the fair and whatever fair food I can get my hands on (usually just fries and a lemon) and I can't go to the fair without riding a ride. So we're talking damn close to $100 when all is said and done, plus it's on a Saturday which is obviously the most crowded day. Just. No.

So I politely declined (and said I didn't think i'd be making it to the fair at all, it is 45 minutes away now) because she said she didn't have the tickets yet. And she immediately texted back with 'but but but...' I hate that. I hate it when I work up the nerve to say no to something that I really don't want to do, and the other person immediately pushes it. Why did you even ask? Why didn't you just buy the ticket? It makes me really unhappy and now i'm turtle heading.

_________________"The Tree is His Penis"

The tree is his penis // it's very exciting // when held up to his mouth // the lights are all lighting // his eyes start a-bulging // in unbridled glee // the tree is his penis // its beauty, effulgent -amandabear

I am so glad I took my anxiety meds. I get klonopin for anxiety but I have to be really careful with it because it's addictive and I have a substance abuse history. So I tend to shy away from it. Today was really bad so I decided fork it, I'll take it and now I'm able to function properly.

_________________If a milkshake is going to change the world then it should be at least be an Oreo one. - daisychain

I mentioned in another thread that I was experiencing a lot of anxiety lately. I used to have severe anxiety and panic attacks in my early 20s, was prescribed xanax for the attacks and was on some other anxiety/depression meds (never settled on one that actually worked, eventually just went off all of them when I lost my insurance). The only thing I can pin it to (besides some annoying stress happening with my guy) is the fact that I have a ton of free time right now. I've basically done nothing but work constantly for the past 14 years of my life, and then all of a sudden...I have had weeks at a time off this summer. 3 in the beginning of June, 1 in July, and now 3 more in August. Those stretches of time make me paralyzed with anxiety about what on earth I'm going to do all day. Everyone I talk to about it is all, 'Man, I wish I had that problem! Too much free time, lucky you!' But one of the main comforts in my life is having a routine. 2.5 more weeks and then school starts and I'll be back in that routine and hopefully mostly anxiety free...but those weeks feel like an eternity to me. I've been trying to make plans with friends, but I don't have that many friends. Reading just makes me more anxious, watching tv works for awhile, but then once it gets dark, my anxiety goes into overtime (same happened when I was younger). It just sucks because when I try to talk about it to people, I'm on the verge of tears and hyperventilation, and they just think I'm nuts. My friend asked what I thought would make it better, and I said, 'Uh...Xanax?' Because I just want to knock myself out until all this free time is over. But I don't, obviously, because that would be awful and escapist and generally pretty useless of me. And my appetite is basically kaput. I feel hungry, but I don't want to eat because the idea of cooking makes me feel even more anxious for some reason. I've been living off Luna bars and grilled Daiyas and water. I hate knowing I have hobbies and interests and projects I could be pursuing, but the anxiety has me paralyzed, just watching the clock until it's a reasonable time to go to bed.

Hate feeling this way. Didn't realize this summer was going to be so hard on me. If I'm in the same employment situation next year, I'm going to have to be better prepared.

_________________But if one were to tickle Pluto, I suspect that it might very quietly laugh. - pandacookie

55k usd is like 4 cad or whatever equivalent in beavers you use on the island - joshua

I'm sorry I had to rake this thread up, but I just needed somewhere to get this off my chest. I feel like my health anxiety has resurfaced after I thought I had put it behind me 4/5 years ago through counselling. I have had several things happen this past month to trigger it, and I am so upset, since the first time I dealt with this I was in a really bad state and hysterical a lot of the time, and it got to the point where my thoughts had become delusional. It was hands down one of the worst times of my life constantly living in fear of this illness, and I don't want to be back there.

It is mainly due to the current poor health of my boyfriend, who has dealt with one thing after the next. I myself have not really suffered bad health *touch wood* , just the odd rash or skin complaint, yet I seem to be panicked by my boyfriends illnesses and ailments fearing that I have HIV and I have given it to him, (despite my tests in the past saying negative for me, and more recent ones negative for him- we've basically been together 5 years apart from a short break up like 2 years ago, after which he got 2 tests due to my pestering) which unfortunately has been the case in the very first incident the past month where I passed on the herpes virus to him, when unbeknownst to us, I was about to develop a cold sore. Which has meant several trips to the clinic- my most unfavourite place in the world. I've heard the virus does the immune system no favours at all, and with the outbreak he got the flu-like symptoms (fever, aches, sore throat, bunged up nose, cough) that is said to be typical of it, but just as that's all died down he's gotten an eye infection called acute anterior uveitis. He is absolutely fed up and just wants to get on with things without it all dragging him down.

And me flapping around like a forking headless chicken is not doing him any favours, nor is it particularly reassuring. I don't want this yet there is this feeling of dread which wells up inside me, then I ruminate, and then there's the old familiar voice which says 'you didn't wait long enough before you got the test done all those years ago, you have it, that is why you are worrying, if you didn't have it you wouldn't be worrying. You are worrying for a reason'. And that is what basically tipped me over the edge last time and that is what breaks down my rationality. Ugh :(.

I think you should get retested to put your mind at rest. Is there some reason why you don't want to do this? Luckily in the UK you can get this done for free and without going through your doctor. If waiting for the results will be hugely difficult you can also get a same day results test in some locations, even if you have to travel it might be worth it for you.

Does you GP know about your health anxiety? A friend of mine has had this and I know it can be very debilitating. Anti anxiety meds really helped her get back on track. But we did go through several medical tests, even seeing a hospital consultant at one point, despite them being completely sure there was nothing wrong - they were prepared to see her purely to set her mind to rest because they took her anxiety seriously.

You need to stop panicking and take action to nip this in the bud while it is still manageable, don't let yourself slip back into the serious state you previously suffered. Good luck.

Get yourself to your doctor. It is quite possible if you get the test done your fears will crop up again in the future regardless if the tests are negative. Look after yourself and get yourself seen before it consumes you xxxx

Stupid nightmares are really getting me down. It's certainly not helped by the fact that my mother dearest and aunt are manipulating the aunt that I am caring for and turning her and my cousins against me. I'm slowly being dragged into the cycle of abuse despite doing my utmost to keep away from them. I've been even having palpitations at times because it has been stressing me out so much. I just want to help my aunt do what is best for her and get her as independent as possible so that she can live independently (which is what she wants) but it is impossible when they are telling her that I am only out for myself, using her for money and God only knows what else.

She got a phone call from my cousins this morning telling me not to bother calling out today. I wasn't even planning on it since I'm meeting my uncles in the pub tonight.

It would seem a good idea to get another test just to put my mind at rest but that is what happened last time I was tested. It was all happy happy joy joy but I still had the looming fear, which then got worse, I started body checking and as I said it got out of hand. I thought that if I hadn't got it through a partner then I would have gotten it through ghosts.Sounds really stupid now but at the time I was convinced.I guess the reason I don't really want to get tested is because the anxiety is absolutely crippling, regardless of the waiting period. I know it would perhaps be worth it in the long run, but I could also just be fueling the anxiety by listening to my brain saying I am going because there is something wrong. I have had counseling for it in the past, which was very helpful, I was hoping I could get past it on my own before it got to be a 24/7 problem, it only seems to have been triggered by this herpes incident, otherwise it hasn't really been an issue. I'm praying it's just a bump in the road and not a hole I'll fall into again.

you didn't wait long enough before you got the test done all those years ago

I only suggested a retest because you said you might not have waited long enough between the risk and the test - if this was a valid concern it would not be giving in to the anxiety. But it sounds like you mean this was an irrational thought and that you had in fact waited long enough.

I hope you get on top of it. Perhaps as the health of your partner improves your anxiety will diminish.

Well despite my reluctance to get a test I went and got one last Tuesday, and I had to wait a week, the beginning of that week was the worst and I don't think I got a proper nights sleep for 5 days and I started thinking someone might have tampered with my test. But towards the end of the week on Monday and Sunday I felt a lot calmer. And today I've got my results back and they're all fine.Thank you for your suggestion rentaghost, I just needed to grit my teeth and do it.

Well done hun. (But if you ever need tests in the future take your anxiety into account and get a faster test if possible - even if it's more hassle to get it's time well spent if it prevents you waiting for the results in such angst.)

8 weeks to finish my Master's degree. No big deal. I just have to write a 50 page paper that my supervisor won't let me start. Then there's course work of 100-300 pages of reading a week, a 10 page Critical Analysis, and a 20 page paper that critiques one of the most important books in my field. I feel like I can't handle this. All this money and time spent in school probably won't pay off, even though I've been working super hard.

8 weeks to finish my Master's degree. No big deal. I just have to write a 50 page paper that my supervisor won't let me start. Then there's course work of 100-300 pages of reading a week, a 10 page Critical Analysis, and a 20 page paper that critiques one of the most important books in my field. I feel like I can't handle this. All this money and time spent in school probably won't pay off, even though I've been working super hard.

You can do this! One day at a time. I remember feeling that way in grad school, but it all got done in the end. Is there a reason that your supervisory won't let you start your paper?

_________________But if one were to tickle Pluto, I suspect that it might very quietly laugh. - pandacookie

55k usd is like 4 cad or whatever equivalent in beavers you use on the island - joshua

I have OCD which has caused me a lot of anxiety as long as I can remember and last year when I developed rosacea my anxiety became an even bigger issue and it started triggering my flare ups. I'm 22 and in June I worked up the courage to ask my doctor about anxiety meds for the first time (which she seemed a bit more excited about then I would have liked) and she decided to try me on prozac. After a bit on that I realized it wasn't helping me, it actually made me feel a bit more jittery and I'm pretty sure it was the cause of my awful nightmares. So next we tried effexor which I thought worked pretty good but had some terrible side effects. I wasn't able to sleep and it made me sweat profusely! All over!! I always looked like I had recently stepped out of a shower. So then I had to get off of that and boy was that hell! So now I'm on buspar and I've been on it for about 3 weeks and the longer I'm on it the more I hate it! It makes me more anxious and when it wears off I'm even MORE anxious. I'm always dizzy with brain shocks and I feel more spacey and clumsy and I'm not sleeping well! I'm SICK of it! I wish I had never asked about anxiety meds to begin with, I was much happier before I tried them. I want to ask my doctor about taking a break from them, seeing if I can get my sleep schedule back in order and just sorting some things out and then maybe trying a different med but she seems so adamant about me being on meds that I'm scared to ask her. Maybe I should just keep trying til I find the one but I feel so worn out.

I've been on that rollercoaster before, Korisnory. First it was Paxil, which put me in a haze and if I missed even one dose I became too dizzy to function. Then lexapro, which didn't work, and then wellbutrin (or maybe both?), which didn't work. Effexor did work for me, in that it made me into a shell of a human being that couldn't have sex...but at least I wasn't as anxious. I was also prescribed Xanax for panic attacks. That was really the only thing that actually helped, but I would get so panicked when the first one didn't work immediately, that I would keep popping them until I passed out (uh, dumb). I went off all the meds when I lost my insurance when I graduated. It was hellish, but eventually I evened back out. Well, as even as I had ever been, anyway. My anxiety finally went mostly away for quite a few years, but now it's back. I will never go on daily meds again, because none of them ever worked for me, but sometimes I do miss that Xanax when I'm on the verge of a panic attack...

_________________But if one were to tickle Pluto, I suspect that it might very quietly laugh. - pandacookie

55k usd is like 4 cad or whatever equivalent in beavers you use on the island - joshua

I hear you. I've been in Celexa for the past 4+ years, and it's not as effective as it used to be, but every other med I've tried (Zoloft, Effexor, Cipralex, and one other I forget the name of) had HORRIBLE side effects. While I'm happy with the additional support I've had with meds, it's never the end all and be all of treatment. CBT, coping skills, exercise and the like are clinically proven to be more effective in the long run.

Oh, and I have a bottle of Lorazepam for emergencies but I never take it. My family doctor was telling me there's new evidence to suggest it can bring on early onset dementia. No thanks, I'd rather panic all day long.

_________________Did you notice the slight feeling of panic at the words "Chicken Basin Street"? Like someone was walking over your grave? Try not to remember. We must never remember. - mumblesIs this about devilberries and nazifruit again? - footface

I don't think daily meds are for me, at the very least I need a break before I try something new. Even though I've always had anxiety I know a big part of why it's so bad at the moment is partially due to my lifestyle. I was a shut in for the past couple years but I'm getting better about getting out and I've been consistently getting exercise outdoors which has really helped both my anxiety and my rosacea. The switch to buspar has pretty much put a stop to my exercising at the moment though, I'm so dizzy and twitchy all the time now! Even though it makes me extra anxious I'm thinking of seeing another doctor for a second opinion, my dr is just a bit too eager to hand out meds and seems to think that if I take a high enough dose I will be anxiety free.

I know brain shocks are a common side effect of meds but has anyone ever experienced a numbing feeling in their tongue?

The past few days I have been freaking out and panicking that I am a horrible, manipulative liar. I'm really torn on what is fact and what my relations are saying about me. I keep ending up in bizarre situations that are not so healthy no matter how much I try avoid them but what if it is actually me being a horrible conniving liar but I am managing to convince myself that it is all real? Whatever the truth is.... my anxiety levels are huge anyway.

Every time I have a panic attack, I convince myself I'm having a heart attack. Every forking time. Because I will get palpitations, tightness in my chest, dizziness, shortness of breath, etc. And even though I know that it always turns out to be anxiety, I still think, "But what if THIS time it's really my heart?" And my anxiety increases, which causes my heart rate to go up, which freaks me out more, and so on and so forth. I usually end up crying to my mother that I am dying, and she has to talk me down. I really really hate anxiety.

raspberrycomplaint, that is pretty much the exact scenario I go through during a panic attack! I also go to my mom and then afterwards I always feel so embarrassed even though she has heard it all before.

raspberrycomplaint- Sometimes it seems that moms are there to talk us down from anxiety.

I've been so stressed about my Master's Research Paper that whenever I work on it I get physically ill. I haven't slept well in forever, I had a panic attack when I was with the guy I'm seeing, and I haven't eaten well in days. At least I'm getting my exercise in. Also, calling my mom helps me a lot she keeps. I've been leaning on friends and family a lot because they have more faith in me than I have in me.

There is some paperwork that I have to fill out by tomorrow that I only got yesterday, and it's for something that I'm feeling a lot of anxiety about anyway, but I can't just flake out and not do it because I'm sort of doing it for a friend, so I'm freaking out. I was just looking it all over and my fingers started tingling and my head started spinning so I had to put it away for now. I don't want to let my friend down, but my stomach is in knots right now.

Every time I have a panic attack, I convince myself I'm having a heart attack. Every forking time. Because I will get palpitations, tightness in my chest, dizziness, shortness of breath, etc. And even though I know that it always turns out to be anxiety, I still think, "But what if THIS time it's really my heart?" And my anxiety increases, which causes my heart rate to go up, which freaks me out more, and so on and so forth. I usually end up crying to my mother that I am dying, and she has to talk me down. I really really hate anxiety.

Hey this is exactly me. Sometimes it got so bad that I was getting shooting pains in my arm and jaw and I almost talked my parents into bringing me to the ER just to shut me up.