Murder on the Orient Express

Who would have thought that Hercule Poirot was as cold-blooded as a penguin?

The fact that Murder on the Orient Express had a great cast made its failure all the more disappointing. Uninspired at every turn, it is a 2-hour film where the actors do little more than moan and groan from beginning to end.

Directed and starring the talented Kenneth Branagh, he plays Hercule Poirot, the legendary detective who spends most of his time admiring himself while trying to solve the latest crime. On top of that, while his moustache is laughably garish, wait until you see multiple scenes where he is able to walk through the snow in freezing weather with no overcoat or gloves. Unfortunately, you are quickly left mocking the entire film.

Needless to say, the movie has a plot surrounding the death on the train as it was traveling from Istanbul to Paris. You would think that a cast that includes Johnny Depp, Judi Dench, Willem Dafoe, Michelle Pfeiffer and Penelopé Cruze would add a bit of strength and mystery to any movie, but the characters in the lightweight Justice League displayed far more spirit and charm. In addition, Daisy Ridley looks like she is killing time before the release of her starring role in the next Star Wars film next month.

Quite frankly, aside from Ms. Pfeiffer, Josh Gad gives the most rounded performance of anyone in this very average film. Coming off his admirable performances in both Beauty and the Beast and Marshall, he is establishing himself as an actor to be watched.

The only way you are likely to enjoy this movie is if you find the ending to have some meaning. However, as for me, I was left with only one dominant reaction. When it is cold outside, make sure you ignore Poirot’s advice and dress warmly.