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Wednesday, February 29, 2012

It's so funny how I feel about chocolate. Sometimes I think it just maybe my favorite thing to eat. There's just something in chocolate that brings about feelings of comfort, joy, pure dee happiness! This "love affair", as like to call it stems back from childhood. My mom has this popular story she loves to share about once when I was 2 and her & my grandmother went shopping at Sears. Now back in the day Sears had a snack counter with bulk candy, popcorn, ICEE's in so forth. Well I guess my mom & grandmother bought a pound of chocolate covered peanuts, my mom went shopping one way, my grandmother and I went shopping another way. I guess how the story goes is... by the time my mom got back to my grandma from shopping nearly a pounds worth of chocolate covered peanuts were gone. Yep, I pretty much ate at least a 1/2 a pound of chocolate... all by myself... at 2 years old! I think it's safe to say my love affair with chocolate is pretty major.

This past weekend I went out with my best-friends to David Burkes Primehouse for "Chicago Restaurant Week". My sister-n-law Melissa patiently researched restaurants all week reading through reviews on Yelp & Eater to pick the very best spot. Now my favorite part of dinner is dessert, of course... the end! And David Burkes did dessert well, a lovely flight of chocolatey goodness... yummers Chicago!

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Fight the good fight of faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses"- 1 Timothy 6:12

As I read this bible verse I could immediately understand what was meant by the statement "fighting the good fight of faith". Most times I feel our chosen destiny can feel like a fight amongst ourselves. I know for me this is a battle that can go on all week, me feeling weak, insecure, and down right doubtful of my abilities, my talent and what I know to be my chosen path. At those moments God/Universe will specifically step in to sure up my insecurities with the love & faith of others. I know the very moment I am doubtful of my talents, I will no doubt feel the compassion and love from my friends and family. For example, a couple of days ago I was feeling ok but not awesome, as I was moving through day I get a call from one of my best-friends Stacy to see how I was doing. Stacy said something inside of her moved her to call me, she goes on to say that she knew I needed to talk to her and that I could use her support. We chatted for a bit and at the end of the conversation I felt like a new woman, we set up a time to talk face to face and work through some of my weaker areas together, those weaker areas happen to be her stronger areas. Just like that I felt a surge of energy, at that very moment I knew not only was I going to make my goals become a reality, but that my best friends were always going to be there for me in the most divine remarkable ways. After that day I had an onslaught of family/friends reaching out to me checking on me, they could all feel me in a unique way. I know this is a fight of faith, many fall victim to their fears and to the exhaustion of the whole thing. Don't let that happen to you. If you know you have a goal resting in your heart, go for it! Focus on it everyday but be aware that this is a test, the challenge of your life, an all out war on your faith! What became real for me is that fear is like kryptonite but with the strength inside of me and the support of those who love me fear needs to prepare to waive that little white flag.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

"The words 'I am' are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you're claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you."
-A. L. Kitselman

I think I'm gonna stop sayin I'm bad at word games. As I thought about this quote I pondered all the things I would claim to be inadequate. Ok for example, I used to say I wasn't good at sports. Well low & behold who was terrible at sports over 300lbs 17 year old (sheepishly raiding hand)?I swear I've got to stop sayin I'm bad at word games, maybe I simply need to figure out how to make word games work for me. I mean look at me know, I actually like going to the gym & gettin my sweat on...burnin those extra few calories so I can have that piece of cake at the end of a long hard day. You see that how I was able to make working out work for me! Who would've ever thought the girl that could barely run a lap around the track can now climb 100 flights of stairs and 2 miles n the air? Like I said I gotta start sayin I'm GOOD at word games... and relationships... and maybe makin a couple a million dollars a year. Haha yea that's more like it.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Your mother is the one God whispers to first. Whispers of your potential, whispers of your beauty, whispers of your souls promise. Mothers are our gateway to that which is the source of all understanding, mothers are the window to Gods love.

When I was a little girl I can remember begging and begging my mom for a baby brother or sister. I would ask her to please do me the favor of producing a child. My sweet mom would look at me & say; "but then you wouldn't be my baby...". As a 2 almost 3 year old this sounds more like a soft NO but today those words are like magical butterfly kisses on my cheek. My Mommy has always been more than amazing to me she has been Heaven. Happy Birthday Mommy!!!

Sunday, February 19, 2012

"Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive--the risk to be alive and express what we really are."

-Don Miguel Ruiz

Have you ever lived in fear? I have, and the strangest part about it is I didn't even know it. I spent years covering my beauty with fat, and lack luster self-esteem but not until yesterday did I realize just how comatose my soul really was. I went to church with my mom yesterday and after service I ran into one of her friends from way back in the day. My mothers friend was so sweet gushing over how pretty I had gotten, she went on and on even to the point where she said I looked stunning, like I had gotten prettier. What shocked me wasn't necessarily what she said but how she said it. See my mothers friend isn't the first person to ask what I've been doing to look this way, what secret potion am I drinking. The fact is, I haven't "done" anything to my face nor my body but I know others can see something new within myself, I know others can feel something different is going on. That brings me back to this quote, for years I didn't live because I didn't understand myself, all I knew was that girl who was comatose, I had no clear purpose and didn't know why I was alive. Fast forward to today the day of the living, I feel like walk taller now and from time to time I can even feel myself glowing on the inside! Today I understand my worth because I know what I've been called to do, this feeling is like living to the extreme, like skydiving... the feeling of boundless opportunities ahead! Now I'll be honest the landing, the "how do I get
there" is an immediate challenge, but isn't it a blessing to finally get a
chance to take off, jump, & live?!

Saturday, February 18, 2012

"When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants and murders, and for a time they may seem invincible, but in the end they always fall, always."
-Gandhi

When I read this quote by Gandhi I was quite struck by the simplicity of the message. Life is honest and pure. Many times we, myself included, over think it's honest nature. The fact is if you love with all your heart, are truthful in your actions throughout your day you will conquer every beast, demon, and devil that comes in your path. It may take patience... but you will rise as the winner!

So why the butterfly?

Hello babes!!! I think it's just awesome that you decided to stop by my blog and get a little lovin. Lovin is what you need when you want to confess, let go, get some peace, and feel a little clarity. Wouldn't it be nice to feel this blissful state at all times... well I say why not? Life is the simplest state of pure surrender... when you trust in the All Knowing and allow life to simply be what it shall be. Now we all have different colors, strokes, and flutter but when it all comes down to it we want to be seen, noticed, loved and desired by just being alive. I wish you all the love in all the world and pray that you find the level of peace that brings heaven down to you right here on earth.
Love & Blessings,
Buttaflibabee