He's in a deaf preschool, but he has behavior issues because of it, so I don't think they're doing all they can for him. A few weeks back he threw a chair at a teacher. I definitely want him to have more contact with other kids, my other son is a bit older and has a different father, and they rarely get to see each other, my work schedule makes it so I can't see them on the week days, I'm at work when they're home from school, so for the last few months Sunday's have been mommy and the boys days.

According to our audiologist, he's just about the best candidate for the implant. Apparently there's some gene that some patients carry that makes them much more likely for success, so we have an appointment set up with a geneticist, and if he has this gene we're supposed to make the decision. The thought of my son going through a surgery like that is killing me, but at the same time, I want him to be happy, and he gets so frustrated because hardly anyone around him knows ASL. It's just me, my aunt, and my ex knows some of what he's read from books.

I agree in a way. It's my ex who is pushing for it, and he and his family have both admitted they don't want to learn sign language. for them it's just laziness. I went to school for ASL after I found out my son was deaf. I want him to continue learning ASL no matter what, but I do have to sort of respect my ex's opinion too. Or whatever. That's what people do right? They try to get along with their exes?

My son has hearing aids already, but they haven't made any significant change at all. He still doesn't startle at loud sounds, he doesn't respond to his name, none of that stuff. He's ridiculously smart as is, he's ahead of his class on his signing ability, he can write and read his name, he can operate a phone, and my god does that kid take a wicked selfie on front facing cameras. I want him to be successful and happy and I want him to live a healthy life and be happy with who he is, I just don't want to be totally uninformed before the choice is made.

That was our plan, but my ex husband is really pushing for it now, and since he has custody I have to at least play along and get the information on it. I've always wanted it to be his decision, but we're being pushed to make the choice soon.

You can't control your urges, but you can control your actions. I admire your honesty and that you are willing to seek help. While I don't have the same fetish as you, I do have some weird ones, ones that society wouldn't exactly like(especially from a halfway decent looking 25 year old woman "Why would a girl like you be into THAT?"), even if none of mine are legally punishable. My advice, stick with therapy, don't act on it, and please for the love of god don't get into CP, because it just furthers the production of it and feeds into the ones that aren't as level headed as you that WILL act on their urges. Kudos to you /u/toketchupredditor.