On the final season announcement

I’ve been operating under the assumption that season eight was the final season for a long time… years maybe? Despite the wishy-washy nature of Claire’s late spring press, I remained convinced that season eight was the last one. Still, I nervously refreshed Twitter through my spotty connection on the subway home. I knew that if Showtime was going to announce the final season, they’d do it at the TCAs today. And I knew that nothing was set in stone and 100% final until it came from Nevins himself.

I’m feeling a wave of emotions right now, despite having had so long to prepare for this announcement.

I’m happy that the show gets to end on its own terms and that Showtime and Fox had the wherewithal to let Alex and Claire decide when it was time to go.

I’m relieved that the end is in sight and that I myself will be able to close this chapter of my life in just over a year.

And I’m sad, too. Sad because this space and this show have been a strange sort of anchor in my life for a really long time, a constant through college graduation, new jobs, a few cross-country moves, and new relationships and opportunities. It has been a comfort through the ups and downs of real life. I could probably never articulate how grateful I am for it and for the people it’s brought into my life. And while I know those people will still be there when this show is gone, the idea of this space growing darker and slower does make me feel anxious and a little bit mournful.

Like the show, nothing around here is getting canceled. Rather, it’s all just coming to its natural conclusion. In the beginning, no one was really listening. In the end, and because life is strange and mysterious like that, no one may be again.

But before I knew how to do much of anything around here–before I could make ok-looking gifs, before I understood how to edit podcasts, before I knew HTML and CSS and Photoshop–this space was here. A space where I could click “New post” and just write, where my voice could be uniquely, unabashedly mine. Maybe it would reach a few people, maybe it wouldn’t. But it was my home. And, like a real home, the assurance that it would be there for me to come back to has meant more to me than I could ever say. It’s been freeing in ways I can’t describe. I’ll really miss that.