i've just asked about getting the background fixed rory... Simone: i just knew Rory prefered horizontal stripes... plus the pram needed adjusting, in the old one flynn looked too uncomfortable!
lol i'm a bit weird that way... I could actually fix yours to make you look a bit more like you if you wanted Simone... I love fiddling around with avs. IK: I even have one (in my mind's eye) for you... HAB and all!

Hi girls - just that one of those motherhood moments. Last few days Flynn has protested going to sleep - I have noticed a gradual build up of defiance in my otherwise placid, malleable lamb (LOL) Mostly picking him up and rocking him till he is settled then putting him in his cot while still awake has worked. But this time it didn't. So I decided to be a hard ar$e and settle him in his cot. Then he got real upset and even picking him up didn't work and he started gasping like he wasin pain. So I gave him panadol (first time) and then he gave a little burp. So it was wind! I felt real bad but then he stared gurgling and was all happy again. So he sat around for a while, I gave him rice cereal, and then he went all tired and floppy so I put him in his cot. He cried. I put him in his pram. He settled but then cried. Now I have given in - the little bag of rats is sitting next to me in the pram, kicking and gurgling away. Yawning, mind you, but happy.

I am so conflicted!! I am seriously happy with him being up and not having a set routine and bedtime, but the words of all our friends with kids keep haunting me - oh yeah, ours did that, now look at them - as they point to a whiny terror. It feels right to have him up and cuddle him, but the whole hard ar$e approach just might save me in the long run!! I guess I'll just go with my gut and let the bag of rats win. Here's hoping he stays a lamb!!!

I think all babies go through times like you've described Rory. Sometimes there's just no set solution. All I can say is what has worked for us: flexible routines. We do roughly the same thing at roughly the same time each night. It seems to make sense to me and as many "experts" have said babies do gain a sense of security in knowing what roughly to expect next. I liken this to me living in a strange land where i don't speak the language... if somehow I knew what was going to happen next... if amongst all the babble and strangeness of my life I knew the rough order that my needs were going to be met i would feel a bit better and less panicky. Regarding settling and inducing sleep and relaxation the "experts" even recommend a routine for us: things like winding down in a warm bath and having a hot milky drink and dimming the lights and avoiding physical activity right before bedtime or stimulating TV... reading a boring book instead. All these things can be incorporated into a rough and flexible routine. Anyhow, as I said... it might not work for every child but it's worked for all of ours. You'll find your own way though. I've also heard arguments against routine which sound plausible in theory but i just know it wouldn't work for us. If Verity didn't have a set bedtime she would take full advantage of it and be a mess the the next day and the teacher wouldn't be telling us that she's about the only child that doesn't arrive at school each morning half asleep... apparently most of her friends don't have set bedtimes because the parents are playing the "I want to be your friend not a parent" game. Still that's another issue. These are just my opinions BTW... I'm only relating what works for us.... not saying everyone ought to do it.

You know I have never really assessed my parenting skills until I came to this site and know I find I do it all the time. lol. I have always had a structured routine, somewhat flexible, not too hard a$$. I find that I am a strict parent compared to others, but it is what gives me my sanity, I hear other friends who are totally child led talk about being sleep deprived or watch how cheeky and down right rude and naughty their children are (I'm talking kicking and punching and laughing at their parents) and I bite my tongue because I do have an underlying rule not to impose my child rearing policies on others. But I know what I do is right for us, I have a set bed time (7.30 lights out) even on weekends, although the older ones get to stay up later they still have to be in bed asleep by 10.30pm otherwise my house is a complete nut house the next day.

People comment to me all the time what lovely children I have, even at IKEA the other day this old lady came over to us as we were getting up from the table and said she just had to come over and tell us what a lovely family we are and how well behaved our children are. It made my day. Nathan has a routine and I stick pretty close to it and it is roughly the same as I have always had, tried and tested. My children are far from being little robots, and they have their moments, but I like to think I have taught and am teaching them well. I think It is important to let them know that you are the boss and these are the rules and you have to start early. You don't have to flog your children to keep them inline but you do need a firm hand. Consistancy, co operation and cohesion are the key, you and your partner must be in it together, because they work out pretty early how to play one parent off against the other. Just my opinion but I believe that children need to be led, it helps them feel secure and loved and safe. They don't have the mental capacity to know what they need althought they will try to get what they want on every turn.

I find that particularly where we live since people make alot of money they spoil their kids and give them everything their little hearts desire and then ignore them or deny the the important stuff in life, life's lessons. They are not being taught to our children. The biggest one being "You can't have everything you want" Parents have so much guilt because they are so busy that the buy their childrens love but they don't get the respect.
Most of my childrens friends have their own TV's and computers and game station thingys, mobile phones and double beds, But i refuse to give my kids any of that stuff.
They share the family Room TV and computer, granted we do have a few of each in the house, but they are communal. We earn each others respect in my home. Love is given freely.
My children are taught that they can come to us with anything ,but, they are taught that for every action there are consequences. I teach them to be respectfully not just to old lady's but to themselves. and they are taught they have to work hard to get what they want. they can't wach adult TV or movies I screen everything they watch and I am the internet NAZI, I do tag what they are into. I will not compromise my childrens childhood and safety in the name of their supposed privacy. People seem to be in a rush to age their children these day, treat them like an adult, they are not adults they are children who need to be gently shaped and moulded into adults, one day. Well i've waffles and thought out loud long enough, I'll get down off my soap box now and go to beds, night night.

7th - you sound like such a beautiful family, you must be very proud of yourself and your kids. It is amazing how much you notice other peoples kids and the ones who misbehave. I love seeing a happy family with lovely polite kids. I might be leaning on your for advice. Chelsea gets a bit of an attitude after being at kinder, thankfully it disappears quickly but it upsets me when she talks rudely or says something horrible. Luckily when we are out, she is mostly well behaved.!

Neeny - Rhonda Burchmore looked shocking, I agree! She has got a great bod, but the face isn't keeping up with it!

Rory - absolutely love your "riverdance" description. It is like that, wiggling and kicking. Maybe they will be dancers when they get older. We have a routine which is flexible but Marley pretty much keeps to her routine by herself. She generally wakes and sleeps at roughly the same time each day. Chelsea has a roughly set bedtime with the same routine (bath, story, bed) and she sleeps really well. As a baby we had a similiar routine to Marley. They say babies are creatures of habit and will do things because they are so familiar. Don't get too worried about it and do what feels right in your heart. You know Flynn and his mannerisms so you can't go wrong.

Bath - great to hear you back. Your family sounds beautiful too and you seem to have a lovely approach to things. Sensible and relaxed. It's great to be involved with people who take such pride in their children and family. I hope as my family grows, they will continue to be thoughtful and respectful of others. Too many kids are not these days.

My dinner out was beautiful. Had a yummy pizza and glass of wine. Got home at 10.30, with 5 girls chatting we could have gone on for hours. One of my friends bought her 5 week old daughter. I had forgotten had little newborns are, even though Marley is nearly 5 months old, the time has flown! She virtually slept the whole dinner and woke up when we were having coffee (good girl!!). DH had everything well in hand when I got home, feeding Marley and the house was still clean LOL!!!!

Mel: Sounds like you had a well deserved and lovely time out last night ... And well done to your DH! *clap clap* I know, time is flying! Way too fast for me that's for sure. I can't recall if you are planning a number 3? You've still got time on your side

Now I'm on way over to the Secret Santa thread because we opened our front door and found our pressie on the verander for us this morning!!! We'll open it on Christmas morning... it's going to be a long wait!

Oh and Heaven, I agree with Mel, everything you said makes perfect sense and isn't it a wonderful feeling when strangers give you compliments like that... puts a smile on your face for the rest of your day and really helps on the not-so-good-days when the wheels fall of the wagon and the kids aren't so angelic!

I'm late for this morning coffee (if you lived up here this morning, you would have stayed in bed, too!), but Mel, I'll be at Borders at 12.30 with either HAB or buggy or both - Oscar is wearing a red beanie with ear flaps and I'm in flare jeans (my hair is straight today) with red and white boots that look like boxers shoes, and a CFA logo on my blue fleece jacket...

Well Cody had a bad night last night, he was up every hour, so we're both pretty tired and I'm brain dead which is nothing unusual. Don't know what was wrong with him maybe a growth spurt or just unsettled will see how he goes today. He's also getting quite fussy at the boob lately, he'll start feeding then pull off, back on for a while then pull off again, then he won't take that boob so swap him over to the other and seems fine for a while, maybe it's just the heat and him getting hot been so close to my body heat *shrugs*.

Hi Amanda, Niall is doing the same thing, being less focused at the boob... mainly due to being easily distracted. Whenever somebody walks into the room where i'm feeding now he pulls off and has to check out who it is. I remember the other two doing that too at about this age. He now gets his best feeds first thing in the morning in bed with me and last thing at night after the kids have gone to bed and he's had a play with DH. I agree, the heat won't be helping Cody either. Lucky we don't have that problem today down here! Like Ik said it's pretty chilly! 14 and raining heavily! (But I quite like it to be honest)

OMG both boys are asleep!!! It's been weeks since this has happened! Must be the weather... now I'm feeling kinda frantic... what can I do what can I do??? LOL First: a cuppa! It won't go cold... what luxury!

Yeah it is quiet... Mel and IK must still be enjoying coffee and a chat at their mini meetup.

Ok... gotta dash... I think I might put the kettle on then hop back on here and FINALLY design my new credit card. The ANZ sent us a brouchure a few weeks ago that said I could send them a piccy file via the internet and they would upload it and make a new plastic card with that image on it! This is totally my kinda thing! I've decided to design and stitch a piece of needlework then scan it... when you scan cross stitch it comes up sooo good... nice and clear... so I think it's gonna look great... I just have to work out a pattern... the bank said I could choose any image (obviously not naughty ones)... most people send in piccy's of their kids... I want my card to look pretty though... I'll upload my design on my site when I finish!

Just been out doing all the joyful bill paying, went for a drive... was so nice in the car, kids being quiet, heater on... The kids are now asleep, so im in bed, with my laptop watching the wonderful weathre outside... its raining lightly, very overcast, beautiful weather! This is what makes me happy

Bath - if you have the time, i would LOVE for you to tinker with my ticker My look has been the same for about 18 months, the only thing that has changed is the kids...

Dee - what a loverly post - i really enjoyed reading it.
Rory - i have been in the same place as you...i have debated as to whether or not be a hard ass with Ally's non daytime sleeping..

i was at yoga then coffee with mothers group yesterday and ally was awake from 7am tll noon - they convinced me she needed proffessional help and to have a day stay at Trisillian...now I feel like I've been doing something wrong? There is a 4 week wait for Trisillian, but in 4 weeks I'm going away for 4 weeks... so that is 2 months of me feeling like I'm an inadequate mother...i have never felt so unsure of my skills as a Mother before...anyway..sorry to bombard the thread...

Amanda- must have been something in the air, Ally woke for feeds at 9.30pm then every 2 hours till 7am..if I refused to feed her (eg;try to rock her back to sleep she would just protest till i put her on the boob). Ahhhhh..may consider starting solids if this goes on for more than a week...
Bath - LOL

most people send in piccy's of their kids... I want my card to look pretty though

he hee, sound like your kids are not pretty! Esp. funny as they are model good-looking!