While on a casual stroll downtown, hobbling along in a knee brace after having hurt my tendon, by chance, I was approached by a beautiful girl who ecstatically said, “Wallah, you will never believe me, but we, pointing to her girlfriends, are from Orland Park and when we decided to go downtown, I said, watch us hit into Faiza Rammuny from Expired & Fabulous and here you are,” she said with a huge smile.

“Well, this isn’t exactly fabulous,” I joked referring to my knee brace. The girls laughed and after explaining to them why it’s so important to stretch properly before every workout, we found ourselves speaking about the typical single girl conversation: our relationship status–or in our case, lack thereof.

“I love your writing so much and it totally inspires me, but my mom is always telling me not to read it because if I do I’ll be single forever,” she said.

I stood there rather perplexed at the thought that my blog could deter eligible men from single women looking for a relationship.

“Well I’m sure that’s not true!” I said with a laugh.

“I know,” she said. “It’s like my mom only wants me to hang out with married women like that’s gonna help me get married. I have a certain guy type I’m looking for. That’s why I’m single and that’s why I love your work.”

I was flattered of course andcould completely understand where this girl was coming from. My father had for years insisted on my spending time with my married friends as opposed to the single ones. He believed that if I hung around married friends long enough it would in some way make me come down with the ‘I Need To Be Married Bug.’ And. Although I listened to my father, hanging out with married friends only made me not want to be married. I mean all they did was uttering phrases I felt most annoying, using words like, “We & Us” always referring to their Significant Other when they were happy. And then, a few years later the tune drastically changed, it became a long dragged out nag sessions about how much they miss having the freedom of being single and not having to answer to their Besetting Other.

“You’re still single right?” she asked.

“Yup!” I said no longer feeling the self-pity I dealt with for the past few weeks.

“Me too. I’m happy being single till the right guy comes along,” she said with a smile, “and I think a huge part of that is because of you, even if my mom doesn’t like your work. She’s just old fashion.”

I wasn’t offended. Her mother wasn’t the only one who saw me like some sort of stubborn bachelorette in five-inch stilettos. I mean, hell, half of my family had begun to believe that the reason for my being single was because I was gay or frigid. God forbid I could be a strong, independent woman with standards who refuses to settle for anything less than what I need out of a meaningful relationship. Forever is a long freakin’ time! I don’t need to spend it with someone I can barely tolerate. I’ll say the one thing that every Arab parent dreads hearing their daughter say, “I LOVE BEING SINGLE SO FUCKIN’ MUCH!” That’s right! (Can someone please get the smelling salts for half the Arab mothers in the community who just passed out and some calming powder/pills for the fuming fathers!”) Does it get lonely? Yes! Do I sit around with my bff Haagen Dazs wondering when Mr. Right will come along? Yes! Do I get bitter at times and wish I could break the camera of singles who block me from getting on the escalader because they’re taking couple selfies? Yes! However, being alone is pretty freaking great! Spending time alone allows me to figure out who I am and what I really want out of life. Moreover, when I am alone, I am in terrific company, me.

I’ll admit that there was a time in my life when I was feeling pretty shitty about being single and maybe at that point, what this fan‘s mother said about me would have found me sitting in front of my mirror yelling, “WHYYYYY!” But not today! Today I look at my single ass and say, “You’re pretty fucking amazing!” You know why? Because, this community, this culture, our family, it takes a hell of a lot of courage to remain un-married at twenty-eight. Not least of all, we singles must deal with the excessive pressure put on us every single day by everyone from our family, to our married friends, and even your dentist who doesn’t only fill your cavities, but your head with his opinion of what happens to women who remain single past thirty! Apparently our eggs die. Completely! Empty! Gone! Caput! How he knows this? I have no idea and I don’t want to be engaged in that conversation with him by even asking.

My point is this: to all judgmental single ladies and married women who make us feel like shit every day about being alone–SINGLES ARE FABULOUS! In fact, all women, married and single are, as Allah intended them to be, FA-BU-LOUS and should be respected and revered for their femininity, their spirituality, and their devotion to their families. Yet we singles are outcaste as if there’s something wrong with us and I’m here to say THERE IS NOT!

You are part of an elite group who have said to everyone, “I am worthy of a guy who I love and who loves me. A man who won’t bore me after the honey moon, or imprison me with his blad (back home) belief that a woman’s place is in the kitchen, catering on him hand and foot, and producing offspring. Women too have needs and I, for one, need a man who appreciates and accepts me for the opinionated, rather talkative, career oriented woman that I am and I don’t give an overcooked shish kabob what you say. I’m going to wait for the man who makes me swoon to come along, a man who shows me that fairytale love isn’t only in Disney movies! Will it be easy? No! But I am strong enough to wait for what I deserve. So for you people who think the worst of me, don’t run from me because I’m single, run because I’m intrepid!

99 thoughts on “Beware The Single Woman”

Malak, just In case Faiza hasn’t read what’s going on, how’s about if I play administrator?

Mike, you’re a friend and I treasure you, but let’s cut it with the racist remarks, shall we? There is NOTHING good about days where others are used, enslaved, maltreated, or what have you for the benefit and enjoyment of others.

Some of my most dearest friends are African Americans and I spent the better part of my childhood growing up in Englewood. Some of the best things I learned in my life I learned from African Americans. I take personal offense and I ask that you quit it asap!!!

No one gave young black men their freedom except for God. Man took it away from them, as well as others and that’s NOTHING TO BE PROUD OF OUR BRAGGING ABOUT!

@ everyone:
If anyone feels they need to spread racism and hate THIS ISN’T THE PLACE… SO GET LOST !!!!

Mike, about the freedom thing and the good old days! You know what Mike, this site without you would suck!! I love coming on and finding your comments and Mosli’s, and Aminah is right about freedom of speech…… I just don’t want anyone to feel offended or personally attacked. We’re not like other sites. We’re here to vent about our stupid lives, “finding love”( yuck), and blah, blue, blee!
I think the real “good old days,” are yet to be…. when everyone is aligned with the universe, wars are a thing of the past, humanity becomes everyone’s business, and there is peace in the world! If some of this doesn’t make sense blame the zanax I just popped in in order to get by family day tomorrow. Night all! And Mike….. Winter is coming!!!

ah, i see. you have misinterpreted what i said. i’m not yearning for any ‘good old days’. i’m simply stating that if you look at the time line the african-american family broke down as jim crow laws were repealed. is that cause and effect provable or just an interesting coincidence?

and god gave no one freedom. at least not the god of abraham. all the ancient texts allow for slavery. man has choosen to eliminate slavery. and here in america with great lose of life.

i agree the best days are ahead. i swear it by the old gods and the new.

hey Faiza
i’m unsure if you’re aware but when a middle aged white man says things like ‘no doubt though that african-americans, especially men have reacted poorly to freedom’ and reminisces about the good old days of the jim crow law that is haha considered pretty blatant hate speech
i remember at some point in the past you intervened to moderate the comment section
if it is possible for you to do the same now i would appreciate it

angel, you seem to conflagerate two things. i’ve never ‘yearned for the days of jim crow’ or slavery. why did you ‘prophet’ muhammad not outlaw slavery. you are a hypocrite. ‘those whose your right hand..’ lol

read your koran you dumb fuck. islam is nothing but hate speech. ‘allah has sealed their heart, over their eyes is a veil’…read the second fucking surah you dumbass.

so why do you think there is a 73% illigetamcy amoung black kids?

and what the fuck are you calling ‘hate speech’? i’m an american, an an atheists, so i will say fuck muhammad and your god allah. fuck jesus and all your stupidity.

my name is michael joseph malzahn and you can email me at mmalzahn@tampabay.rr.com or you can find me at 2211 3rd av. n.
st.petersburg, fl 33713

See ! That was completely uncalled for! If someone perceives your speech as racist and hate filled, they must have gotten it from somewhere. That garbage you wrote was about as unnecessary as reminding Carole Burnette that she was funny once but those days have looooonnnngggg past and now she couldn’t get a snicker from a hyaena if she wanted!

what? carol burnette doesn’t stand the test of time? she and bob hope were never funny. lol.

i’ll tell ya khalida, you and malak can project racism into what i’ve said all you want. he can call it ‘hate speech’ all he wants. but this is still america, oh sorry amerikkka, and we are still standing strong against this nonsense. freedom of speech is my god, and i will defend it with every bit of zeal that religious fanatics defend their invisable friend in the sky.

To Anonimous, “All womens here are no good.”
You don’t even know any of us. Some prejudice! And by the way, instead of making such ridiculous remark, why don’t you learn how to spell or at least use the spell-check.

As a convert to Islam I may have a difference of opinion from my Sunni brothers and sisters, but I also agree with them on many things and one of those things is the level of immorality in this country which is -I think- what the princess was meaning. It is a rampid disease that spread since the birth of the internet and unsupervised children who readily access it. I’m not saying that the sixties weren’t immoral, but nothing like today where’s it out of hand. When did you see children having children and both the parents and the government coddling them for it. We seem to reward perversity and shun decency and I don’t care if you’re going to say it’s happening everywhere. It’s happening here and that’s all I care about.

The level of immorality such as?????
But since you mention children having children, let’s talk about that for a minute. Your idea of not having children out of wedlock–for women only of course, men is not an issue– is not happening in your little twisted world because parents get these girls married off the minute they get their period, or before, or they are stuck in the house under strict supervision [house arrest the way I see it] until the parents find a “schmo” to marry them off to. And them, she becomes her husband’s problem. And according to you, this is moral. Is this what Allah intended? Is this Allah’s will? Where is this written?

Moreover, your boys are as free as birds they and fool around as they please, spread their sperm anywhere they want as long as they don’t bring the Problem home, right, and of course, will deny paternity. And don’t tell me it is not so, I’ve seen it happen many times and it sickens me.

And this, you call moral. I have news for you, boy, this is injustice, unfairness, and yes IMMORAL.

Sister, I’m an African-American convert and I don’t need you to preach to me about what’s going on with our boys and our girls! I KNOW by first hand account what’s going on and how having a parent to supervise children can make a difference. I didn’t say anything about “house arrest,” or girls getting married as soon as their menstrual cycle appears! I’m talking about kids NOT being kids anymore, but adults with responsibilities that didn’t need to be there so that they could enjoy their childhood years. And I said “children” which includes boys and girls, but yes…. since the girls are the ones that carry the stigma of immorality when there’s a belly present and she’s only 13 years old, I’ll keep the shoe where it fits…. with her. There was a time when girls were told to keep their legs closed, remember? Or maybe you come from a race or place that didn’t have to remind children of the dangers of promiscuity…. and yes, I’m being sarcastic because there is no such place! Nowadays, parents don’t seem to care what their children are doing as long as they’re not getting in their way and YES that seems to be happening here more than any place else. And maybe it is happening in other places, but again… I don’t care! I care about my what happens where I live. You want to be smart and keep arguing that you go right ahead! I’m not going to waste another minute on this. I wrote what’s on my mind. You don’t agree, well… that’s why some really wise men gave us the First Amendment. Freedom of speech baby! Salam to one and all!

Sister, I’m African-American and I don’t need you to preach to me about what’s going on with our boys and our girls! I KNOW, by first hand account, what’s going on and how having a parent to supervise children can make a difference. I didn’t say anything about “house arrest,” or girls getting married as soon as their menstrual cycle appears! I’m talking about kids NOT being kids anymore, but adults with responsibilities that didn’t need to be there so that they could enjoy their childhood years. And I said “children” which includes boys and girls, but yes…. since the girls are the ones that carry the stigma of immorality when there’s a belly present and she’s only 13 years old, that’s where the shoe fits.
There was a time when girls were told to keep their legs closed, remember? Or maybe you come from a race or place that didn’t have to remind children of the dangers of promiscuity…. and yes, I’m being sarcastic because there is no such place!
Nowadays, parents don’t seem to care what their children are doing as long as they’re not getting in their way and YES that seems to be happening here more than any place else. The songs they’re listening to, the games they are playing, the movies they are watching, the internet, and maybe it is happening in other places, but again… I don’t care! I care about what happens where I live.
You want to be smart and keep arguing that you go right ahead! I’m not going to waste another minute on this. I wrote what’s on my mind. You don’t agree, well… that’s why some really wise men gave us the First Amendment. Freedom of speech baby! Salam to one and all!

yes, that freedom. actually i was refering to the end of jim crow laws. i was thinking of an article by thomas sowell where he said the best thing that happened to him was that he grew up during segregation and that black familes were intact.

you know what else you remind me of; i used to read the news every sunday morning at a lunch counter on the southside of st. pete and one sunday there was a story on 4 or 5 mothers who were organizing a march becasue they all had sons killed in gang related shootings. the kids were all in their teens and the mothers all in their early or mid 30s. i think the oldest mother would have given birth at 18. not a single woman had the same last name as their son. (i know muslm women don’t take their husbands name, but these wheren’t muslims) the week before was the anivessery of brown vs the board of education and the paper did a story with a picture of the kids and their mothers who brought the suit. all had matching names with their kids and the women were wearing white gloves and hats and looked very ‘proper’.

If the ladies had the same last names as their sons, how do you know that wasn’t their married names’and that was the boys’ fathers’ names? You said they weren’t Muslim, and that Muslim women don’t take their husbands’ names,” so how did you get they weren’t married women? Also, the youngest mother was 18? When did she have this kid when she was 2? No, you REALLY don’t remember that article, do you?

eternal life, sorry if my writting was a bit scattered. yes, the women in the picture from 1954 were no doubt married with children as opposed to the women in the 1994 story. the women in 94 were in their 30s and the oldest one gave birth at 18, not that she was 18 at the time of the article.

Nothing wrong with working for your money like our parents use to do, and like the majority still does. If we could eliminate welfare altogether, except for those who REALLY need it, our country would see a great difference in the caliber of it’s people. If the draft were in place again, and these young thugs who feel like shooting up a storm and killing innocent folk, were gotten off the streets, our country would see a decrease in violence. And those nine year old girls should be in school getting an education like we were expected to do. At one time un married pregnant girls were something to be embarrassed of. Nowadays the mothers cart them to the OB appointments and throw them baby showers. The moral fiber of this country has disintegrated and that’s why those out side of it don’t think we’ve got the highest moral values because we DON’T!

yes, we used to send a prengnant girl to the aunt and uncle who owned a farm. she would come back with a ‘cousin’. i used to date a woman who got pregnant at 17 in 1969. she talked about how they sent her to the ‘alternative school’. ironically she became a teacher and would tell me how the black girls would throw shoes at her. they bend over backwards to keep the pregnant girls in class. schools are no longer about learning in some places. they are just big babysitting servces.

i agree with you on most of what you said. not sure about the draft part. actually i think you mean conscription, either way i error to the side of freedom, even if some abuse it. but no doubt the welfare system needs drastic reform. but as a white guy i can’t say that without being called a racist. lol. hell even bill cosby was beaten down for stating the obvious. or jaun williams book ‘enough’. i see a new black guy has a book out, ‘stop helping us’.

To Anonymous Princess;
When you make this kind of accusations, you must be precise so , let me help you narrow down your definition of Amrikan womens.
Is it:
A woman who is born and raised in the USA and whose parents were also born in the USA
A woman who was born in the USA but her parents are from a foreign country so that her home education is still, let’s say Greek Orthodox since you can probably related to this ethnic group.
A woman who has been naturalize American after a certain period of time living in the USA.
A woman whose husband is American and automatically received citizenship.
A woman who was born American but her circumstances are that she had to adopt the citizenship of another country.
Or, all of the above?

Also, FYI, calling yourself a Princess, in the US, has nasty implications. I wish would not have written that. All pimps call their “working girls” Princess.

Mike, Abu Bakr Al-Baghdadi would turn in his grave if he would read what you just wrote.

I am not prince I am princess. I am a women. And I know this because Amrikan womens are no good. I am not Muslima. I am GreekOrthodoxs. Every one out of Amrika knows Amrikan womens are no good. Arabiyas in Amrika are like Amrikan womens. No good. Who are you.

Amina and Yusef, what’s bugging you anyway? But since you are so sure of your accusation, tell us specifically what American women do that makes them so bad. Please, we are all waiting ….. with bated breath

Can someone please clarify why this intriguing and intelligent young woman doesn’t have a book out there? Just imagine the read! @Faiza Rammuny: Dear if you haven’t thought about putting your work onto a manuscript and looking for a publisher, please do so! You’d be jipping yourself and millions of us if you don’t. I am very serious!

“frammuny Have been working nonstop on my book deadline, but have just posted a new entry on my website http://www.expirednfabulous.com Check it out and thank you for being so patient with me. You guys are fab.”

I am from the UK and I am a avid fan of this young lady. She certainly motivates (not only single women) but married ones as well. I also know of many gentlemen (straight and gay) who read her blog religiously. Good show!

this girl is not teeching or girls any good things, she mades them belief is oky to be not marry, this big sin, womens hav to be marry becuos they not litle, wen girl get her blood she shud be marry, this faiza is not young girl an she not marry may bee becuos she is not gud girl, an girls who reed this wryting is not gud girls all so,

Lmao!!!!!! You are too funny Anonymous!!!!!! I hate these boaters that come on the site every once in a while to talk crap about the posts, or the people posting. If you’ve been here before I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. If you’re new to the site you’ll see what I mean soon enough. loool

Anonymous, I think Majda is putting us on. You know as well as I do that when a word is spelled incorrectly, it will be underlined in red. Hard to miss. I don’t know what Majda is trying to prove by going out of her way to spell so pathetically but her intention is not coming through. So, try again, Majda.

“Al Libnania” means ‘the Lebanese,’ or from Lebanon. You know what Mike… the spell check sort of happens automatically. Like right now I’m looking at it right under “Libnania.”

Uhhhhh… and no thanks (about the land). Now, if you’d said your friend had inherited land in the outer most corner of the Antarctic… maaayybeeee I’d consider it, but…..uhhh…….no….. in Lebanon…. that’s like NOT happening EVER! But if I come across some desperado looking for a grave to dig and throw themselves into head first… I’ll send them your way. No worries.

khalida, ah, see even transliterated i can’t read a second language. i was thinking that might be libya? i was at least hoping she was in africa or on the arabian peninsula with that attitude. would have never quessed lebanon, i’ve always considered them a bit more modern in their thinking. her comment reminded me of when in game of thrones they kept taking about sansa’s first blood.

Her name can be spelt with the ‘h’ or without it, and its most usually written without it. As long as I’ve been on this blog -which is pretty much from the beginning- I’ve always seen her name written as ‘Faiza.’

Btw, it means ‘victorious’ or ‘the winner,’ which she most certainly is.

You know what Anonymous….. a name doesn’t have to mean anything to be beautiful. Arabic names always mean some thing or another. Like I have a cousin who’s name is ‘Naima,’ which means ‘sleep,’ or another who’s name is Jamila, which means ‘beautiful,’ another one is ‘Noor,’ which means ‘light,’ and then my aunt is ‘Amal,’ which means ‘hard work,’ and mine means ‘immortal.’ Even the thought is nauseating, but go figure.

It was about time! Where the hell were you? Hybernating? Keep those posts coming Miz Rammuny. Especially since they make single gals like moi feel good about themselves. Not that I don’t feel good about myself like 24/7, but a pat on the back doesn’t hurt once in a while! And the picture….HOT!

Michael, my dear friend, it actually is good ole Faiza! Believe you me mister!!! I actually ran into her (literally) at a mutual friends henna party this July. And she was rockin’ those hips all over the dance floor. On the other hand, I was rocking these two left feet I inherited from my granddad.

I love, love, love this blog and this post!!!!!!! I’m your NUMBER ONE FAN EVER!!!!!!!! Because you speak for us single girls that don’t seem to be going down the aisle any time soon, but haven’t lost hope, and we don’t mind being single a while longer. Thank you for that Ms. Rammuny!!!!!!

My mom is really old fashion and always tells me that I need to get married. But I don’t want to marry just any guy. A lot of people always think that it’s because nobody will marry me but if I wanted to be married I could be tomorrow but I don’t want to marry just any guy. I agree with you so much because Allah knows whats best for us and he’s the one who’s going to decide when we find our naseeb. Obviously we’re still not married because Allah doesn’t have it written for us to be yet. I always say this to my mom and she says that I’m being stupid and that I got this way of thinking because of living in America. But I’m just romantic like you. So thank you for making me feel like I’m not the only person in this community that’s like this. 🙂

Actually I’m not Buggsy. I’ve just been a loyal fan since the blog got under way a couple of years ago. Her writing has helped me a lot. I use to feel like I was the odd one out and now – I lift my head proudly and don’t let anyone get me down just because I’m not married. I will be one day. If that’s what Allah has for me. For now I’m just happy being a hopeful romantic who’s waiting for her Prince Charming to sweep me off my feet. And I have this site and Ms. Rammuny to thank for that.