Ask A Woman: Tighty to the Whitey

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Hi Beth,

As any young man would tell you, my mom used to buy me tighty whities as I was growing up. And what I mean is I really wore white briefs growing up. When I moved out I decided to upgrade it and started buying low cut briefs in different colors and patterns. Growing up I remember trying out boxers ONCE as well as boxer briefs but they were not too comfortable. I tried the whole boxer thing again recently and felt the same way I did then (they bunch up and while walking the “junk” gets to do the salsa, which is uncomfortable) and boxer briefs just ride up. What are my options here? I thought my colored and more adult looking briefs were ok until my GF pointed out that these are still considered tighty whities and are very unsexy.

– JB

Hi JB,

This afternoon I was having coffee with my friend John. I mentioned that the column I’m writing this week is on underwear, specifically a dude who likes tighty whiteys. He got a nostalgic look in his eye, gazed off into the distance and said, “Ah yes, that used to be me.” Then he told me about his ill-fated history with boxers, and some other extremely relevant skivvy-related information. Naturally, I thanked him for sharing, as this will surely enrich our friendship now and in the years to come. There isn’t much of a point to this anecdote besides using the opportunity to mock a friend, and perhaps to assure readers that even the men in my life with whom I have a personal relationship enjoy sharing such intimate nuggets of information with me. At least you readers have a computer to hide behind, yes?

I actually wrote on this topic a year and a half ago, and going back to read it again, I think most of it still holds true. Women, by and large, do not like briefs, no matter how they’re cut, or what snazzy colors/patterns you buy them in. Maybe they remind us of childhood and seeing our brothers and male cousins scurrying around in their Superman briefs. Maybe they don’t emphasize the goods in a flattering manner. But ask a woman what she thinks of briefs, and ten-to-one odds she no likey.

I respect what you’re saying about boxers, and actually, when men wear only boxers for most of their life, their junk tends to, um, reflect that. Skin is a gloriously stretchy organ. As it were. (Suddenly I’m shy–wasn’t it just last week that I took pubic hair head on? Hmm, bad choice of words.) What I think we should concentrate on is the source of your consternation: your girlfriend. Until she expressed displeasure with your choice of undies, you were fine with the brief. I mean, this is just underwear, right?

There’s nothing inherently bad or wrong or ugly about briefs, it’s just a matter of personal preference for the guy wearing them, and then for the person who sees the guy wearing them. Now you just have to decide if you’re going to try and get used to boxers or boxer briefs to please her, or ignore her preferences and wear what you’re most comfortable with. Depending on how often you see each other, perhaps you could meet halfway, and wear the boxer briefs when you know you’ll be seeing her. If the two of you live together, though, you probably can’t avoid her seeing you daily in your skivvies, so a choice still needs to be made. Incidentally, many women are in the same position. They may wear lacy underwear, thong underwear, no underwear, all depending on what their guy (or gal) finds sexiest. Or they may say forget it, and pull on those plain white granny panties with the full coverage bottom.

Not that I have any experience with plain white granny panties with the full coverage bottom.

Must Reads

Comment Rules: Write only what you’d say to a person’s face. Keep it civil and when you disagree, propose an alternative. Thank you for adding to the conversation.

Kyle

Sizing down a size from what you think you might be in boxer briefs might help the switch, as could colored compression shorts (more support for sports, but can look like boxer briefs). There’s not really any inherent reason that the extra “leg” should mean less support if you don’t buy too loose of a size.

Matthew

Under Armour compression shorts–not the boxer brief underwear–don’t ride up on me at all. I buy one size larger than normal because they’re too tight otherwise.

Rob

Have you got a source for that wearing boxers for most of your life has an effect comment? Interesting if true, I find it hard to believe that there’s ever been a study done though…

Brandon

The real trick with boxer-briefs is to get the ones with plenty of spandex in them. As others have suggested, compression shorts that are cut shorter work the same. Full cotton boxer-briefs tend to stretch when you sit and move around, making them looser over the course of a day and essentially turning into boxers (at least for me). Spandex helps them keep their shape.

sqt

Wait, what’s the effect a lifetime of boxer-wearing has? You DID wind up being super vague, and I truly can’t imagine what difference it would make.

easyenough

hold up, wait a minute. The more fit you look, the less underwear you can get away with (with some adjustments for hair grooming). And while increasing the plastic in the underwear can tighten the fit, who wants to wear more plastic?

matt

JB, I feel ya about the boxers and boxer briefs. I prefer a nice trunk cut brief. They aren’t going to ride up, they show off your goods, and the square cut makes them look more grown up than a low rise brief.

http://www.facebook.com/mikebright Mike Bright

I recently got a pair of Uniqlo’s boxer briefs and they’re the best underwear I’ve ever owned. They still do ride up occasionally but not very often. They’re also very soft.

Hector

I wear low rise briefs, and have gotten plenty of compliments from the ladies. I say, just wear what you find comfortable (most importantly) and what you think looks best on you. I don’t find anything flattering or comfortable about boxers (and think they look rather childish) and would not wear them even if my girlfriend found them “sexy”. The dudes’ girlfriend doesn’t like him in briefs, but he’s the one who has to wear them and he doesn’t feel comfortable in them so I would advice him to stick to his guns.

Darkbond

Where what you feel is comfortable. I wear low cut colored briefs and boxer briefs only. Typically dark colors.

I live by the Under Armour boxer briefs. I’ve tried all kinds of different underwear and these are by far the most comfortable. They run a little small in the waist so size up and they may be 20 bucks a pop, but they are well worth it. Best underwear out there in my opinion

Erick Johnson

*Can’t tell if trolling…* Ah what the hell, I’ll answer anyway.

Given the “Skin is a gloriously stretchy organ.” comment, one could assume she’s insinuating that boxers, which don’t provide junk support allow gravity to stretch the meat and two veg over time.

The Young Garifo

Having been through the spectrum of undies here in the US and abroad(dont ever wear boxers in France) I would agree with everyone else in saying trunks or “trunk- cut briefs” are the way to go. I’ve heard good things about Uniqlo but I’m currently big on Flint & Tinder as it’s USA made out of supima cotton and it’s not outrageously expensive.

Wilbur

Go commando dude! Best option.

Cory

I wear the Calvin Klein trunks that are 90% modal. You can find them at Macy’s. I wore boxers for about 15 years until I discovered these. They are infinitely soft and comfortable. They are stitched in such a way that your important parts will hang out in a little pocket (sorry Beth!). After a while you do not even notice that the underwear is there and they pair well with tailored or skinny pants since they do not bunch up. My wife thinks they’re cute for what that’s worth. They are expensive at $20-25 a pair, but if you can slowly build your collection (one a month, one a week depending on your budget) then I it is easier to handle and I think the price is worth it. No crazy colors either, just black and grey from what I have seen.

BenR

Honestly, if most women think briefs in dark colors and modern cuts aren’t ok, then most women are wrong.

There are few garments less flattering and more pointless than a pair of saggy, baggy boxers.

CS

You’re the one who’s gotta wear them, not her. Wear what’s comfortable. If she persists, express displeasure at whatever underwear she’s wearing and see how she likes it.

Wallace

I’m surprised no one has mentioned that briefs may affect fertility. Google it.

Wayne

Athletic Boxer Briefs! Called by a number of variations but are made for sports. Hold everything in place, won’t ride up or stretch out throughout the day. Don’t play sports? Who cares!?

Glock13

Calvin Klein hip-briefs. Done.

http://dappered.com Joe

An enormous benefit for those of us who prefer briefs and don’t want kids…

Steve

As a gay dude, I will never understand why women don’t like briefs. For example, something like this brief in black – http://mackweldon.com/products/Brief – how does that not look great on a guy?

Furious Styles

Well I’ve learned something today. I had no idea about Trunks. I do boxers/box briefs and now that I wear clothes that fit me, I’m not happy with the bunching and riding up. Time to update a new part of the wardrobe…

DrewGriz

I love when people answer my questions before I ask them…

DrewGriz

Wait a minute, how is there not an “ask a gay guy” column on this site yet?

shad0w4life

Buy quality boxer briefs, don’t buy the 3 pack cotton $10 specials, and get the right size, if they ride up, size down. Even when I was 200~lbs(athletic not overweight) @ 6′ I wore mediums.
As Brandon said, they need to have some spandex.
Mark’s DH brand, Hugo boss, Joe Boxer Sports etc. all work great along with moisture wicking ones.

Jano

Boxers or commando. Everything else is odd.

JayScott

If he is concerned about how the girlfriend perceives his choice, he really should be asking her for the other options.

Petrichor

I don’t understand how any guy can wear low-rise briefs. I own two pair, but I must not have a low-rise penis because I rise right over the top of them. I tend to wear boxers with most jeans, but as jeans keep getting lower and lower too, I end up wearing boxer-briefs with jeans like Levi’s 514s. Any jeans lower than 514s are just dumb, in my opinion. I won’t buy ‘em.

Blake

It’s kind of silly everyone kind of glossed over Beth’s final point.

The fancy lady underwear is not highly comfortable either yet no one here is yelling for them. If you want to look good for your partner, consider what they like you to wear, underwear included.

If no one is going to see your undies, wear what you find comfortable. If someone is, maybe consider making them happy.

Adam M.

Completely agree. Well said good sir!

http://twitter.com/lap3 L.A. Pauza III

As a gay man I agree that tighty whitey’s are fundamentally wrong but I can attest that there is a fundamental difference between the hanes, fruit of the loom, and other generic tighty whitey brands that one gets at Walmart, Target, Kmart etc. compared to the 2xist, Cin2, Andrew Christian, Calvin Klein, and others of the world. Much like the difference between a custom made suit and an ill fitting suit from Men’s Warehouse, it’s all about the level of design and comfort put into the garment.

And since we’re on the subject of underwear I truly fail to realize the point of boxers. If you just want a piece of thin cotton between a monster zipper that’s fine but they serve no purpose otherwise. At least with other forms of underwear one has support and the natural shape of the body is often enhanced.

LV

I don’t think the type matters *all* that much in my experience. Just:

– replace any that develop holes or frayed edges
– replace any that get loose and are not meant to be loose
– be comfortable and even feel sexy in what you do wear
– try out bright solid colors and be more interesting than the generics (it’s a bedroom talking point, even)
– wash them if they’re stained (for whatever reason)
– think twice about stopping with boxers if you’re over 25 (my personal opinion)
– think twice about trying out boxer briefs if you’re over 25 (again personal)

Boxer briefs usually represent a conscious maturation of clothing choices. Most children are clothed in briefs, so they tend to stick with the same-old or move up 180 degrees to boxers as teens and maybe even college since you can wear just them and get away with it. To my view, boxer briefs is the underwear equivalent to switching your hoodie for a sport coat, your tennis shoes for oxfords, your holey dad-jeans for proper ones. (Granted, briefs in more interesting colors can be similar.)

http://twitter.com/SatchmoBronson _

It sounded like BS to me. I’ve never heard that, and highly doubt it’s true.

http://twitter.com/SatchmoBronson _

Sounds like BS. I’ve never, ever heard that.

Erick Johnson

Agreed. Age on the other hand…. well you’ve seen the Jackass skit with the old man balls lol

Brendan

I’d suggest the reader might also not be wearing the correct size of boxer briefs. The only time I’ve had boxer briefs ride up on me was when they were loose and not fitted to my legs. I wear American Apparel boxer briefs which fit to my leg without cutting off circulation and they never roll up or ride up.

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