*Disclaimer – despite my recent finger wound, I was not on painkillers when I wrote this.
But you may want to be when you read it.

The EMTs stood over the frothing man.
He sat in front of a laptop, 72 MS Word documents open.
His eyes were wide.
He was gibbering.
He wasn’t wearing pants.
Yogurt from a tipped cup slowly oozed across the table next to him.
The EMTs looked at each other.
“Have you ever seen anything like this, Hank?” asked the first.
The frothing man shot up, sitting rigidly straight.
“IT’S THE WORST THING EVER, HANK!!!!” he shrieked before slumping back down.
Hank frowned, and picked up the half empty yogurt cup. He took a deep smell. His brow furrowed.
He gingerly dipped the smallest part of his pinky fingernail into the swirly goop, just deeply enough to catch a small bit on the tip. He lifted it up to his lips to taste the digit, his eyes widening as the flavor swirled over his tongue.
“Someone has added something as a doctor of the yogurt, Fred” he declared. “It’s…hyperbole!”
Fred gasped (only partly at the akwardness of the sentence construction).
“But that also means it’s about a week and a half old!” said Fred, remembering the Trifecta challenges schedule.
“Yes” said Frank, authoritatively. “We can’t help him. This man a needs a doctor!”
The man sat straight up again, pulling something shiny from below. He frantically worked it into the spilled yogurt, spreading it over the surface of the table…the laptop…his bellybutton.
Etched in the stainless steel, the words “The Doctor” gleamed in the light.
Hank shook his head. “Or a psychiatrist…”
Fred stepped back. “I do not want to know where he pulled that from.
But I bet it was bigger on the inside…”

(This week’s contest is community judged, so go check out their site, read some of the other great entries and vote for them.)
(Seriously.)
(It would be a travesty if I won.)
(hehehe)

Thanks Janna!
I worry that sometimes I rely too much on the short sentences. They’re great for highlighting, but too many is distracting, and whatever I want to highlight gets lost.
I need to work on that…

I love to read your writing! I just got hit with a fit of the giggles in the middle of this. My yoghurt will taste much better tomorrow morning because it will remind me of this post.
Guaptastic Youghurt, the only way to start your day!

Thanks Delicious!
And don’t ever feel bad about not saying something intelligent about my writing. Intelligence is rarely present in the top half of my pages.
Now if you wanted to say something goofy… 😉

I think it’s a banana yogurt pop.
Here’s the link, and I updated the pic link, so you can just click that.

I should have focussed on your brilliant wit and ignored the frozen yogurt banana pop… Do you realize that there are people out there who actually create things like frozen fruit pops dipped in yogurt so that their children can have healthy snacks? Have they not heard of pizza pops?

“He gingerly dipped the smallest part of his pinky fingernail into the swirly goop, just deeply enough to catch a small bit on the tip.” – Great sentence, Guapmeister! I like reading your entries to these because you seem to have so much fun!

Ha HA!!! This was was everything I love in a story! Incredibly well written, funny, twists on twists and all told from the perspective of the yogurt! (Okay maybe not from the perspective of the yogurt but still!!) I’m so glad this is community judged. I’m glad you mentioned it too because I missed that part — as I am often wont to do! I know who I’m voting for!! And his name rhymes with Schmaupo!

Good stuff Guapo, and I don’t mean the yogurt (which I may never have again!). Also, I’m not sure how The Young Ones came into the conversation, but glad it did! It’s been forever since I’ve watched it.

Thanks Alex! I’m glad I didn’t use Nutella as a spreadable. Imagine the hate mail I’d be getting!
(I also think I’ve lost a whole bunch of street cred for admitting not knowing all of The Young Ones. Going to have to fix that soon…)

OK, does everybody in the world except me love yogurt? I cannot stand the stuff. I hate the texture & the taste. The only way I can even somewhat tolerate it is if someone doctors it to a frozen state – otherwise you’d be rushing me to a doctor.

Ah,am wondering if spreading that doctored yogurt over his belly button “produced” the doctor?;-)And possibly mixing yogurt & Trifecta challenges,specially of the Hyperbole kind ,was not really such a good idea for that frothing man(was that froth or yogurt?)!Questions galore-my head is brimming with yogurt I think,lol!Superb take on the prompt El ,loved every ” yogurty” bit:-)

My favorite Guapfecta story so far! I’m not sure what that says about me. And while I’ve only taken painkillers a handful of times in my life (and mostly recreational), I can assure you that I was in the proper mood to receive your message.

I’d never heard that awesome Ray Charles song before. It’s true though, the man don’t need a doctor. It’s much too late for that.