Skepticism

EVENTS

Steven Santagati is…Mansplainin’ Man!

Watch him interrupt. Watch him tell a woman that he’s more of an expert than she is, because he’s a guy. Watch him tell all women how they’re supposed to respond to catcalling. And as the pièce de résistance, watch him yell that if women are afraid, they need to get a gun!

I’m sorry, Mansplainin’ Man, but as a superpower, that’s even worse than Moist or Arm-Fall-Off Boy. Maybe you also need a better name. May I suggest The Douche?

Comments

I saw the screenshot last night, but seeing the quote that (I think) matches the screen shot was priceless.

I’m more of an expert than you because I’m a guy and I know what guys are thinking, I can’t get inside your head because you’re a woman, but you can’t get inside a guy’s head

Seconds later:

You would not care if these guys were hot…There is nothing more a woman likes to hear

Stop right there, Mansplainer, didn’t you just say women can’t know what guys are thinking and guys can’t know what women think? But now you’re telling us, as an expert on what guys think, what women think? Fuck right off.

I, for one, can’t explain what these guys are thinking because I would never fucking think of acting like they are.

What’s worse than a moron is a smug moron.
He was just waiting to throw out nonsensical right-wing nutjob talking points one after the other: “get a gun”, “people having too many kids”, “family values”

I have such a hard time, as a Canadian, explaining this is to pro-gun Americans: I don’t want to live in a society where having a gun is necessary.
A woman in Detroit should not need to carry a gun because she’s worried she might have to turn a guy down in a nightclub. You shouldn’t have to live in a society where “turning a guy down” means “he might try to kill you.” You should regard your society as an utter failure if it gets to that point.
Mr. Santagati here *wants* a failed society. “Bah, screw political correctness! To hell with laws and respect for other humans! Everyone should carry a gun!”
Very … um … Goodkind of him, really. You only have the rights you can enforce with the barrel of your own gun.

Love that he starts out by saying he knows how guys think so the women should listen to him and then everything he says after that is him explaining how women think even though both the women he’s talking to already made it quite plain that don’t think any such thing. And then says “stop me if I’m wrong” making it abundantly clear that he hasn’t actually heard a word either of them has said. What a douchecanoe.

Amanda was amazing! She called him on so much of his bs and didn’t let a single idiotic comment go without a priceless look. I have to look up her work now.

Shorter Steven Santagati:I don’t know what women think, but I know they like catcalling because if they seriously didn’t like it, they would shoot men on the street. Oh, and blah blah political correctness.

If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit? What an absolute moron… Djeez.

Interesting: (6:10) “The video speaks for itself, type of guys, culture blablabla” This is clearly meant in a dismissive manner about the men (and their behavior) featuring in the video. But then why the f* is he saying that there is no problem and PC has gone to far? Or is he saying that our culture is rotten also (on this subject)? Yeah, I bet it’s the latter. Right? Right?..

I don’t normally watch videos, but I turned on the sound and watched this one.
Wow, just wow. I’ve dealt with this kind of misogyny for years. Even after we no longer have the looks that draw catcalls, we women are patronized. I once was car shopping and wanted to ask the salesman for some information about a car that I was looking at on his lot. The guy told me to bring my husband back after work so that he could make a deal with him.
I drove to another dealership, was treated fairly and took the car that I picked out home for the evening to show my family before signing the paperwork the next day.
I’ve also dealt with misogyny on the phone. I’ve often had representatives from banks refuse to talk to me about a bill, etc and insist on talking to my husband. When they do reach him, they are always shocked when he tells the “I have no idea what you are talking about, since my wife does the family finances – here – talk to her”.
There is nothing worse than to be told by a businessman on the phone “That’s alright honey, I’ll call back to talk to the mister”.

Oh and the thing about how if all these guys were hot women would have no problem: a) sure we would and b) I fucking HATE it when men talk like women having preferences for what type of men they’re interested in is wrong. So fucking what if you approach me, however you do it, and I shut you down? I’m fucking allowed to not be interested in you.

Santagati has a youtube channel where he also offers financial advice. I am guessing you could get rich by doing the opposite of what he says.

“Bad boys finish first” is his channel. And he offers some advice about how in the fall, women start to look for someone to nest with – that’s the best time to look for someone. If you’re smart as a woman you can lead guys on and keep them baited with the promise of sex.

Yeah, that’s his advice. Why did CNN put such a misogynist douche on TV? Was it some misandrist attempt to make all men look bad?

Yeah, follow him for a couple of days with a group of gay guys “shouting well-meaning compliments” to him. I’m sure that’ll get it trhough his thick fucking skull what it is to be constantly receiving “attention” from an unwanted source. Although of course that wouldn’t change his attitude towards doing it to women, because gay guys complimenting him, gross, but white straight classy men doing it is totally different because women obviously only go onto the streets to look for commentaries about their appearance being shouted at them. The shopping for food, going places and general stuff we call a life is secondary…

Same reason you have to have a climate change denialist on when talking about climate change, a creationist on when talking about evolution, etc. Objectivity! We must always pretend that the truth is a point equidistant between the two most extreme positions.

Some dude saying ‘hey gorgeous’ on the street…. stand your ground and BAM BAM BAM… right above his nose.
Some Santagatti yelling at women on TV… stand your ground and BAM BAM BAM … right through his mouth.
Isn’t that what he is saying by asking women to carry guns.
Would have been nicer if he carried a brain.

Yeah, she was great. I had great anticipations when I clicked “play” on that one. And here’s why: never ever go up against a comedian, unless you’re a comedian or an absolutely brilliant orator. Because comedians practice the art of conversational ninjitsu and their barbs are pointed and their timing is honed to a razor edge. That dumb oaf was lunchmeat even if Seales hadn’t had the right of the matter; he was toast from the moment the camera started rolling.

I live on a farm and I’ve got a great big corn field next to the house, nearish to a pond. This is the season when the turkeys are out fattening up for the winter, and every morning they emerge from the woods down near the pond, have their morning pond-latte, and march up to the field to forage. And what a march it is!! The toms rush ahead of the flock and pose, holding their wings out and displaying their tail-feathers, like disco-era slicks in their navel-open white shirts with the gold italian horns, and the hens walk right by them as if they’re bumps on a log because they’ve got corn to collect and, really, whatever. When the hens march past, the toms deflate, then run swiftly ahead of the pack (again) and re-inflate – hope springs eternal in the breast of the turkey. And the hens march on. They’re turkeys. They have brains the size of a pea, literally. Or maybe a lentil. But their strategy is eerily familiar and their persistence is impressive. Impressive to me, not the hens.

It’s pretty clear to me – if you wouldn’t say it to another guy, then you don’t say it to the girl. You probably wouldn’t say “Hey beautiful” to another guy out of the blue, so treat women the same way!

This is why I’ve never understood people who say that CNN is “center” or “center-left.” The host gave a wide benefit of the doubt to the fucking douchebag, even though she clearly agreed with the other side.

He consistently contradicted himself everywhere and was all over the place, constantly interrupting. Tell him to shut the fuck up for five seconds. Jesus.

Anyone else ever sometimes daydream that you’re related to these guys just so you can publicly disown them?

In spite of all appearances, you’re much more closely related to him than you are to a gorilla. So, blast away! Besides, the gorillas don’t want to be tarred with that brush, either! It’s a race to disown him.

Does this guy live in an urban setting, because he seems to be clueless about the possibility that #bullets_go_thru_bystanders.

Conservatives live in a magical world where heroes with guns have 100% accuracy with all shots and the bullets stop as soon as they hit what they’re aimed at. You know, like the homing machine-gun in The Fifth Element.

Conservatives live in a magical world where heroes with guns have 100% accuracy with all shots and the bullets stop as soon as they hit what they’re aimed at.

Actually they live in a magical world where merely having a gun in your possession prevents someone else’s bullets from hitting you at all.

(Seriously, every time these guys pull out the “hey if the victim had a gun…” bs I want to scream “THE CRIME WOULD STILL HAPPEN.” Having a gun doesn’t prevent someone else from catcalling you, or even shooting you first. Guns do not magically stop bad things from happening to you in the first place, they just make sure things end with a lot more people dead.)

And don’t get me started on the fact that stand your ground laws apply only to white dudes. Because if women suddenly all started open-carrying and pre-emptively shot every guy who was a potential threat, the streets would be running red and Republicans and the NRA would be screeching to change the gun laws immediately.

Never contradict a douchebag. He’ll happily spare you the effort and do it himself.
Not only the “I can’t look into a woman’s head but I know better what she thinks that you do”, also the general “this behaviour is totes OK” followed by so many racist and classist not quite dogwhistles my ears are ringing. “Their cultural background” “people are having too many children”…

I’m appalled at the gun suggestion. If you need to carry a weapon for everyday circumstances, that means your life is dangerous. A major selling point of civilization is that it’s supposed to make our lives safer. Women aren’t getting the full benefits.

Yuck, can’t believe jackasses like this guy build careers around such hey-listen-ladies nonsense. Seriously, just take a look at his website, it reads like pure satire. This is an actual quote from the bio page: When you order a product you’re not just buying something to cover your naked body, you’re letting the world know you’re part of an elite group of bad boys and girls who have made the choice to FINISH FIRST and live the life they deserve!

For such a self-styled bad boy he comes across as stubbornly conformist–my biggest problem with these self-help gurus–not to mention immensely narcissistic. Though his penultimate gun-carrying advice in the video is pretty gutsy for a guy whose gleeful misogyny would make a lot women more than happy to fire a few shots in his direction.

And, like I wonder about the catcallers in the original video, my question is, how can you still not get it through your thick skull that some people just want to be left the hell alone?

This is why I’ve never understood people who say that CNN is “center” or “center-left.” The host gave a wide benefit of the doubt to the fucking douchebag, even though she clearly agreed with the other side.

This is due to that holy grail of journalism, “balance”. Far too many journalists assume (or are explicitly taught in j-school) that for every issue if person A says, “red” and person B says, “blue”, then the truth must be somewhat purple. They live in terror of being called “biased”, so they always bend over backward to find an opposing viewpoint, no matter how much the evidence and their own common sense scream that one side is right and the other is simply wrong.

I had to stop after 6 minutes because I was going to punch my computer monitor right in Steven Santagati’s self-satisfied, smug-asshole face. Wow. How has he not been shunned by every woman he knows. Oh heck, he probably has, but he’s too self-absorbed to realize it.

I watched it and I too was especially struck with the tri-screen mega-eyerolls from the women as Douchey McBiscuit “splained how they were being complimented and he knew they secretly liked being catcalled, and accused them of lying. Yo silly wimmens! You know you live for strange men to rate your body and fuckability. Limiting mens ability to harass women is just political correctness. I wonder if douche even noticed that both of the women flat out mocked him and laughed in his face on national television.

From what female friends have told me, when they get catcalled they usually don’t have a clue if the guy is hot, because they’re not looking at his face. They’re either looking in the opposite direction and trying to ignore him, or they’re watching his movements and everything around him so they can get away fast if he does anything more threatening. So…no? Catcalling is not effective flirtation and is not intended to be; it’s just an exercise in intimidation.

(Not that “You wouldn’t care if these guys were hot” is an excuse for bad behavior even if it’s true. Should we give attractive muggers and con artists lighter sentences, because at least their victims got to look at a pretty face?)

drst
the only thing that the NRA and the politicians who support the more guns all the time agenda would object to is anything that would diminish gun sales. It is the true motivation of the gun lobby regardless of what the PR is saying.
If every one can carry a gun and shoot it at people that will scare people who will feel the need to also be armed. That was the mind set of the cold war and it made the “defense industry” rich and powerful. fear is good for the weapons business
P.S. I did not take the challenge to watch the Video so can not comment on the particulars
uncle frogy

Yes. I severely disliked this fellow as soon as I heard that title. I’m wondering if that book ends up in the humour section or in the “self-help” or “gender studies” section. I do know that there are a lot of books in the humour section that are kind of guides to being a man.

I think he should have to wear a name tag that says “Hello, I’m the Douche who wrote a guide to being a man titled ‘The MANual'” just so that everyone who interacts with him knows the type of guy they’re dealing with.

Another thing about that “They wouldn’t mind if he was hot” nonsense:
If a woman is obliged to treat every man as though she finds him attractive, then logically a man is obliged to treat every woman as though he finds her attractive. Fair dos, and rather handy for those of us battling middle-aged spread. By that logic, since Leonado di Caprio isn’t a virgin (presumably), he’s obliged to show me a good time too.

Makes me want to gin up a posse of guys to follow him around making comments for a couple of days.

I’m in! I can bring some friends. :)

drst@36

And don’t get me started on the fact that stand your ground laws apply only to white dudes. Because if women suddenly all started open-carrying and pre-emptively shot every guy who was a potential threat, the streets would be running red and Republicans and the NRA would be screeching to change the gun laws immediately.

Actually, a lot of the dead guys would be NRA, right wing assholes. Hey, we might be on to something!! >:-) (I kid, really….this is a poor idea from the get go.)

Saad@48: Can I be the token male (aka White Knight) on the project. Yes, I realize that means I have suffer….something something imagined terror that the antifeminists are just sure would happen….but we all have our crosses to bear.

Personally it’s a conversation-ender the moment someone starts telling me that they understand what I think better than I do. I can think of few things more arrogant. Guess I wouldn’t last long as a woman.

As for the gun comment, he should have been told this: The whole point of this project is to illustrate for and to men 1) just how much of this women have to deal with every damned day and 2) that they don’t like it one bit, in the hopes that men will stop it. By suggesting to these women that they should tell the men to leave them alone, and carry a gun so then can shoot the men who attack them as a result, you are placing all of the onus for repairing the situation on the women, AND implicitly telling me that what they are doing is OK, which defeats the entire point of the project.

Ugh. Car shopping. My mum (a 76 y.o. widow) went to 5 different sales yards before she found a sales person who treated her like a real customer. And yep, she bought a car from them. My friend encountered sales staff who would rather talk to her husband, even though he is blind, and has never driven in his life.

When I was young, and averagely attractive, I had to put up with this kind of catcalling. As I get older, it changes, but it doesn’t. Now I am shouted at from moving cars for daring to be fat/old/unattractive in public. every time I go for a run.

“…and carry a gun so they can shoot the men who attack them as a result, you are placing all of the onus for repairing the situation on the women, AND implicitly telling men that what they are doing is OK

I totally recognize this guy!! He talks a lot about very expensive Scotch, he smokes cigars indoors, he’s the VP of Sales at half the software start-ups in America, and his wife looks completely miserable in all social settings. He could use some coaching on cologne choice, and quantity applied, as well. And somehow he’s always tan. Also, all the women he knows in all the cities he travels to love anal.

Yea, CNN constantly takes a ‘neutral’ stance, as opposed to any kind of objective stance. They get hard right wing people who say shit and then get reasonable people who are left (but usually just centrist) while conversation gets devolved by unreasonable conversation. It’s neutrality all the way with them, and they refuse to take any sort of side against batshit insanity.

But seriously, why did CNN feel the need to get some guy defending cat-callers? What the fuck is the point of that?

But seriously, why did CNN feel the need to get some guy defending cat-callers? What the fuck is the point of that?

I don’t usually watch these news programs, so I can’t generalize, but I thought in this case at least that was a brilliant approach. Watching Amanda Seales’s faces while Dudebro was digging deeper and deeper was priceless. As for the anchor, yeah, she was trying to be neutral, but you could tell that she was horrified by what dudebro was saying. Dudebro was probably right about one thing: the guys who were doing the catcalls probably weren’t watching this. But it’s hard to believe that anyone without strong preconceived notions would watch that clip and think “yeah, dudebro put them wimmen in their places.”

Sometimes you’ve got to give people like this the rope and let them hang themselves.

Normally I agree. Sunlight, disinfectant, etc. But no, I think it’s ridiculous in this case and derails the conversation into nonsense. They couldn’t even really talk about the issue because we had to let Mr. Dudebro try to defend this crap. It’s a waste of time.

I guess it depends where you’re coming from. Like I said, I don’t usually watch this stuff, precisely because it’s usually a waste of time, so perhaps I’m insufficiently cynical. But to me, there were a couple of benefits from this: we get to see the mindset of dudebros (hey, it’s a compliment, and you should confront all the guys who do this to you for ten hours, and you should pack heat so you can shoot all those guys for ten hours, and hey, if Rebecca Watson was carrying a gun…), dudebro comes off as a total asshole, and best of all, this introduced me to Amanda Seales. The best disinfectant in this case was her reactions to dudebro, and I think the producers understood that–at one point they put him on full screen, but pretty quickly realized their mistake and got the split screen back.

I see where you’re coming from, and I don’t think I could stand much of this sort of TV, but to me this short clip was as effective as any Steve Colbert interview.

A woman in Detroit should not need to carry a gun because she’s worried she might have to turn a guy down in a nightclub. You shouldn’t have to live in a society where “turning a guy down” means “he might try to kill you.” You should regard your society as an utter failure if it gets to that point.

I found out today that American gun violence makes no sense to refugees from the Middle East. That’s another sign that our society is an utter failure: our violence is less logical than violence in the Middle East.

~*~*~*~*~*~

drst (#36)

Seriously, every time these guys pull out the “hey if the victim had a gun…” bs I want to scream “THE CRIME WOULD STILL HAPPEN.

And it would leave us open to bonus crimes. Like that open carry dipshit who got his gun stolen by a bad guy wearing flipflops. Bad guy liked the good guy’s gun and happened to have one of his own, so took the good guy’s.

I was appaled by that guy in the video. The woman was brilliant.
It takes a lot when i seriously feel that if he would be standing in front of me, i would punch him on the nose.. repeatingly.
Because i’m not a violent person at all.

Bad guy liked the good guy’s gun and happened to have one of his own, so took the good guy’s.

Here the government has periodically made massive disarming campaigns because they know there’s a steady influx of guns from registered owners to criminals. In the words of a police specialist, gangs see “good guy guns” as idle assets, and in general it’s worth breaking into your house to “divest” them into productive activities (more crime).

the only thing that the NRA and the politicians who support the more guns all the time agenda would object to is anything that would diminish gun sales

I don’t really agree with that, although I do concur that the NRA is only interested in pushing an agenda that serves gun manufacturers. If the NRA was genuinely only concerned with selling more guns period, in the wake of all the recent publicity over the executions of black people by police and white vigilantes, the NRA would be running ads and reaching out to convince the black population to buy guns. If they genuinely cared about the second amendment, they would be stinking up the entire state of Ohio over the execution of a black man holding a toy gun in a store in an open-carry state. They’re not, of course, because they don’t want black people buying more guns.

Here the government has periodically made massive disarming campaigns because they know there’s a steady influx of guns from registered owners to criminals. In the words of a police specialist, gangs see “good guy guns” as idle assets, and in general it’s worth breaking into your house to “divest” them into productive activities (more crime).

That’s true in the US, too, except that the NRA and their sockpuppet politicians have convinced people that, despite being something that criminals will specifically beak into your house to steal, having a gun makes you less likely to be burglarized.

As a fan of super hero comic books, I really wanted to say “no way could this guy be a superhero”. But then I remembered that mainstream superhero comics are all about maintaining the status quo (a depressing fact that I realized years ago).

As a fan of super hero comic books, I really wanted to say “no way could this guy be a superhero”. But then I remembered that mainstream superhero comics are all about maintaining the status quo (a depressing fact that I realized years ago).

That’s one of the things which made Dr Horrible awesome: he understood that the status is not quo!