2012 Nationals Player Profile: Bryce Harper

He’s the one on the left, I think.

Our series of player profiles has taken something unique about each member of the Nationals roster and formed it into some sort of longform comedic passage. Sometimes it’s been tricky to find something to write about, but we’ve had great success in doing so.

With just a few players that have played for the Nationals this season who we haven’t profiled, I thought it’s finally time to look at Bryce Harper. Going back to the struggle we’ve had with some players to find something to talk about, we all know that when it comes to Bryce Harper…

Nobody really knows anything about the kid. I mean what am I supposed to say when the media has barely covered him? I suppose he doesn’t deserve that much coverage in the first place, I mean there’s nothing exciting about him from what I can tell. Every time he’s come up to bat, I’ve just gone to get a soda. For all I know, Bryce Harper is a 400 pound Chinese man who somehow found his way onto a baseball field.

Maybe the media should give Harper a chance. Stop focusing on people like Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez, and give some of your time to talking about Bryce. Then the casual baseball fan will have some idea of who this no-name is.

All this being said, I can’t see Harper being a long-term piece for the Nationals. I mean this kid has no character, no drive, and no skill to my knowledge. I really just think we need someone who can be a solid everyday player like Rick Ankiel, instead of taking a risk on someone who probably will be a career minor leaguer like Harper.

The Nationals really need to continue to generate excitement, and Harper just doesn’t fit the bill of a star in the making. I’d sure as heck like to know when this organization started taking fliers on people like Harper instead of putting butts in the seats by re-signing Cristian Guzman. Baseball is a weird game.