A conversation heard in the health food store today between a 4-6 year old kid and his parent:

Kid: Dad, what Tofu-key?Dad: That's Tofurkey.Kid: Ok.

Pause

Kid: (pulling on Dad's shorts) What's Tofurkey?Dad: It's Tofu.Kid: So why not just call it Tofu?Dad: Because it taste like turkey.Kid: So why not call it Turkey?Dad: Because it's tofu flavored turkey.Kid: What's that?Dad: It's tofu that taste like turkey.Kid: (grimmacing) Who would want to eat that?Dad: It's for people who say they are vegetarian, but still want to eat turkey.Kid: Why don't they just eat turkey?Dad: Because they are vegetarian.Kid: Does it taste good?Dad: Yep, it taste like turkey.Kid: Can we get some?Dad: No.

As I watched this conversation, I started to wonder if I ever had that conversation with my mother. If I did, it would go something like this:

JB: What this is?Mom: That's "What is this?"JB: So why does it say (sounding it out) To-fur-keyMom: Because that's what it is.JB: You said it was "What is this."Mom: No, I was correcting your speech.JB: Oh. What this is?Mom: What is it?JB: YesMom: No, what is it?JB: That's what I asked.Mom: No, you asked "What this is?" I said say, What is it?JB: Ok. What is it?Mom: (snatching the package out of my hands) None of your business. Now put it down.

Rule #3: You may not curse, at least not outright. This includes the b-word, the f-word, the s-word, the c-word, the w-word, the p-word, and the r-word. If you'd like to curse, you must do so creatively, replacing the "bad" word with something more interesting.

Oh, and before I forget, I wanted to direct everyone's attention to this article, about which all I have to say is: It's about damn time.

It hasn't been this quiet since E.F. Hutton last spoke. There has got to be some sort of theological or political debate being neglected here. My inferior intelligence doesn't allow me to delve into such topics, but someone could at least provide me with some good humor.

Q. Why is John's intelligence inferior?A. This alone could be the topic of spirited debate. Don't worry, I'm just inferior this week. Next week I'll be average again. I'll post more on this issue when my house is actually sold.

Rule #2 - This is a friendly blog. This means that you may not bash others, or participate in name-calling, or deride others' opinions. Even if they're Republican. For example, you may NOT say that anyone who supports Bush is an idiot, or that the Republican party is full of evil, brainless spin-machines who will take anypiece of information and try to make it sound like it reflects well on this administration. This is explicitly verboten!