Ong Toi's comments on the Fall of South Vietnam - last days

dreamcatcher27371
Member
Posts: 76
(6/26/01 7:51:08 pm)
| Del All Ong Toi's comments on the Fall of South Vietnam - last days
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April 24, 25, 27 ... April 30, 1975,

We, SVN soldiers were confused, frustrated, yet also
asking and wondering where our superpower friend of
many years was. Moral and fear were common. Rumors
were abound: the Seventh Fleet was moving into
position to provide air and sea support, that Utapao
was getting B52 ready to bomb Hanoi, Hai Phong, the
DMZ, and their supply routes. We held our hope high
that our friends would come to help. We were looking
to Washington D.C for an emergency military aid
package. We were looking for a new leader to emerge
to urge and encourage us to fight on. We heard
nothing.

Mid-day, April 30, 1975 Big Minh announced that we
surrender! crying, sobbing, cursing and screaming were
common. We felt betrayed and abandoned by our
leaders, by our "American" friends. Evacuations
ensued, a lot of people left Vietnam, some with merit
and some without. A lot of people who deserved to be
evacuated never got their chance. I still don't know
deep in my heart that I merit to be evacuated for now
I learned of the fates of many men and women who were
left behind had to suffer and endure hardship, jail,
"re-educational" camps in the North (near the border
with China). I feel particularly guilty whenever I
see and talk to a lady, her name is Thuy, who has a
little sandwich shop in Fountain Valley, CA. She came
to the US 6 years ago. She was the head of, therefore
highest ranking female officer, the SVN female
counter-intelligent unit. She wanted to leave but yet
she did not, instead she spent her last hours going
through the SVN intelligent headquarter to burn and
to destroy secret document until it was too late to
leave. Her effort save hundreds of life for without it
a lot of people would have had to spend at least 10
years in the "camp" up north. She was put in the camp
for 10 plus years, they beat her up (having no teeth
now), provided her with next to nothing as far as food
and medical care are concern. I know this lady quite
well since she's a distance cousin of my wife. Last
year the Little Saigon radio interviewed her as part
of the 25 years commemoration of the fall of our
country, she recounted her final hours, my wife and I
listened to her story, both of us cried out loud.
I spoke with her several times and she never said nor
did she show anything bitter about being abandoned by
her leaders and in particular, her American friends.
In fact, she appreciates this country to give her a
second chance to live her second life.

I left South Vietnam confused, hurt, angry, shameful,
and sad. I hated all leaders religious, military, and
political. I was angry at the "Americans" for
abandoning us. The sentiment was pretty common. Yet,
deep inside some of us soldiers, we were, then, hoping
that somehow the US would get involved again and send
us back with the US support to retake what was taken
away. It never happened. My anger toward "Americans"
was then gradually eroded as I gradually to realize
and understand the "politics of war". My anger was so
intense that my previous wife (a Caucasian) got so
upset and shameful to the point that one night, I was
lying in bed, she came in soaked with gasoline and a
Zippo on her hand. She, Cynthia, said: Toi, since my
country messed up your country so bad, I, as an
American, can only do a small thing to pay you back
and that is to set myself afire. Needless to say, I
jumped so fast and lead Cynthia to the shower and calm
her down. It then struck me that SVN and us were
abandoned by America (Washington, D.C.) and not by the
Americans.

Now, almost 26 years later I mostly feel sadness for
my other country, I am angry at the communist Vietnam
for bringing the country to its knees, economically
and socially; for avenging the soldiers who were less
fortunate to have had a chance to get out. I feel
fortunate to have come to this country and doing what
I do now, I am fortunate to connect with the LIST
where I can freely express my emotion.

Yes, my wife and I will cry again on April 30, 2001
when we attend ceremony and listen to Little Saigon
radio stations. I am not even angry with America for
I know a little county's fate is in the hand of the
superpower; there's little that I can do for now I
know a little bit about the "politic of war".

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