Really need someone to talk to

I am sitting at home alone and the quietness is really getting to me right now. I have called my therapist, she has not responded yet. I want to go back to sleep so bad and never wake up. I am finding myself continuing to look at something across the room wanting to just give in to them but what would that really solve? Just me once again hurting the few that actually give a damn about me. What is the point to continue to even fight this battle when I can't keep myself in a good frame of mind, it always goes right back to me thinking about anyway I can to end this pain. Right now I am so numb from meds that I'm not thinking straight anyway so why not make myself number to the point that I will never again feel? And then I get to the point that if I even share my true feelings how many more will I push away? OMG I hate myself and just think I need to put plans into action to get out of all of this. I want it to end and if the day doesn't improve I won't be here tomorrow.

I hear you ok You are NOT alone i am sorry you are so sad but let the tears go ok cry then rest up a bit and do something for YOU ok nice tea or sandwich just know that things can get better they can I hope your therapist calls you back soon hugs

Thanks for responding here. I am a little calmer now because of actions taken. My therapist never did call me back but that is ok. I have also made some life altering decisions today and I am at total peace with those decisions. All that I ask is that each one of you always take gentle care of youself, win your battles and keep your head held hi.