I was born a semi-diva. I married a redneck. Through the magic of osmosis or just because of a serious lack of sophistication over the years I have found a balance of the two that make me who I am today. And then I write about it all, much to the chagrin of my mother.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

It appears that today it really is all about me

My list of 1001. I have 3 kids.

2. I only planned on one of them. The other 2 were "surprises".

3. My middle name is Dawn.

4. When I was in 7th grade I got on a kick where I spelled my name Krystin.

5. I absolutely, under no circumstances, cannot sleep with a closet door open.

6. I also cannot walk over a sewer or drainage grate. I simply cannot do it. (Read Stephen King’s IT - you’ll understand.)

7. I wear a size 9 ½ shoe.

8. I got drunk for the very first time when I was 18.

9. When I was in Kindergarten, my husband was the teacher’s aide in my class. We discovered this on our first date.

10. When I was in junior high I wanted to name one of my daughters Kaliopee.

11. I cannot stand David Letterman. He’s an idiot.

12. I sold Pampered Chef for 4 years.

13. All My Children is my favorite soap and has been since I was in grade school.

14. The song "Please Come to Boston" makes me cry.

15. I have 3 tattoos.

16. I am not double-jointed.

17. I want at least one, probably two, more tattoos.

18. I had a crush on my 7th grade math teacher, Mr. Spencer. A big crush. I honestly thought he’d fall madly in love with me and we’d have this spectacular, although controversial, May/December romance and live happily ever after.

19. I didn’t get my first kiss till I was nearly 14. It was in the back seat of a Mercedes Benz on the way home from a spook house.

20. I have seriously considered a piercing, but keep chickening out.

21. I have one filling in my mouth and I got it when I was 7.

22. My favorite book is The Time is Noon by Pearl S Buck.

23. There are 3 movies that make me cry so hard I have almost vomited: "Penny Serenade" (an old b&w with Cary Grant), "Steel Magnolias", and "The Bridges of Madison County".

25. I cry almost that hard when I watch "Beaches", "Stella" and "An Affair to Remember" (the old one, not the remake).

26. If Trace Adkins walked up to me and asked if he could make wild, hot, passionate love to me I’d say yes and wouldn’t bat an eye - even if my husband was standing right there.

27. Okay...I might bat an eye...but I’d still go.

28. I am insanely addicted to sweet tea. The really sweet kind that Southerners drink. Not that hot crap y’all call Earl Grey or whatever. I only drink tea hot if it’s a component in a hot toddy.

29. One time at band camp...

30. Just kiddin’.

31. I collect garden gnomes.

32. When I get nervous my teeth "itch".

33. I have to balance the checkbook to the penny. It cannot be off in the least. I have literally spent an entire day trying to find an error.

34. I snort when I laugh really hard.

35. I’m terrified of spiders.

36. I once slept with a guy and didn’t know his name. When I think back about that now it kind of scares me, but man it was good sex.

37. The longest I have stayed up without sleep is 42 hours.

38. I have a strange fascination with a man’s arms. Strong arms. Oh goodness...

39. In high school my friends called me "the walking dictionary".

40. Not being able to "fix" someone frustrates me. A lot.

41. I drove in a demolition derby.

42. I’m addicted to it now.

43. I would love to ride in a hot air balloon. Even though I would probably throw up.

44. I don’t like pepperoni.

45. I think the grilled cheese sandwich is one of the best foods ever invented.

46. I don’t really care for dogs. They’re too needy. Not saying I don’t like dogs, I just think they’re too high-maintenance most of the time.

47. I can touch my nose with my tongue, but just barely.

48. Clowns freak me out. I took my kids to the circus ONE TIME and swore I’d never do it again.

49. Roller coasters cannot be too high or too fast in my opinion.

50. When I was a kid and someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, most of the time I said "a mommy."

51. I went through several phases - English teacher, Drama coach, Daycare owner, cop, judge, actress. It always came back to "mommy" though.

52. My husband and I lost our first child. It was the most horrific thing I’ve ever endured in my life.

53. I was raised Southern Baptist and am currently a member of a Southern Baptist church.

54. I rarely go to church anymore.

55. The jobs I’ve held in my life, in order, are: Secretary to the secretary (my mom) in an attorney’s office (awesome summer job), Sales clerk/gopher in the college bookstore (work study), Toddler teacher in a daycare, Teller in the Courtesy Booth of a grocery store, Infant caregiver in a daycare, Sales clerk in a bridal shop, Pharmacy Technician in a hospital pharmacy, Cocktail waitress, Home daycare operator, Direct Sales Consultant, "Babysitter" to a bunch of college kids in the college library, Substitute teacher, Home Daycare operator - again.

56. I have completed one semester of college.

57. I tend to be a tad over-dramatic sometimes.

58. Okay, I tend to be over-dramatic most of the time.

59. I could watch The Wizard of Oz, Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and Napoleon Dynamite every day. Well, at least every other day.

83. If some bozo at the mall asked me to take The Pepsi Challenge I guarantee you I would pick Coke.

84. I am a morning person.

85. When I was 17 I had a major panic attack in the St. Louis Arch.

86. My mom is my hero.

87. I’ve been called for jury duty once. I never sat on a jury.

88. I’m a registered Democrat.

89. I can’t swim.

90. Because I can’t swim, I am terrified of water that is above about chest level. On me, that is about 3 ½ feet.

91. I pray every day.

92. I am 5' 2 1/4". When you are this short, that 1/4" is pretty important.

93. In my life I have visited 8 states, besides the one I live in: Missouri, Arkansas, Kansas, Nebraska, South Dakota, Tennessee, Illinois, and Mississippi.

94. I was a major goody-two-shoes, teacher’s pet and basic nerd in High School. I skipped school once my Senior year. The principal was known for checking on skipping Seniors and he drove to my house to find my best friend’s car there, my car gone and no one at home. The next day when I brought in a note from my dad that said I was sick he asked me if I had the Mall Flu. I said yes and he signed my note and let me get my homework.

95. I love sex. A lot.

96. Sometimes I still want to run away from home like a temperamental teenager.

97. I did not realize just how difficult it was going to be to write 100 things about myself.

98. At this point I’m just filling in space.

99. When I was a little girl I wanted to be Isis and had a pretty significant crush on Shazam.

I cried when I saw "The Phantom Menace" but it was mostly tears of frustration.

When I balance my checkbook I round every check up to the nearest dollar even if it ends in ".01" so I'm sure to be covered. I decided life was too short to spend more time than necessary hovering over my checkbook.

I'm terrified of spiders with lockpicks and guns.

My mom and step-dad are saving up to buy a hot air balloon (and trailer).

Are you looking forward to Tim Burton's remake "Charlie & the Chocolate Factory"?

After reading #72 but before reading #73 I thought, "Uh oh. OCD." Yep.

Interesting thing to do. I may try to write a 100 about me thing at some point.

Osbasso-No way in heck am I missin' Half-Nekkid Thursday! I've been looking forward to it all week! And I don't know what got into me today - I just felt like posting. This is what vacation will do to a girl!Thanks for dropping in!

Collin-Been awhile since I've seen you around the Ramblings, friend, but glad you commented so durn much today! I nearly tinkled with delight when I saw how much you had to say!

And I must say I kind of agree with you on the checkbook thing, but it's seriously the OCD. I know that it's easier to either just fix the mistake by making it say what the statement says, but if I try to do that, I end up back at the table in 30 minutes trying to fix it again. Just like with the canned goods. Once I tried to just unload the sacks onto the shelves and walk away. For an hour I thought about nothing but the shelves. Then I got up and rearranged the whole thing.

In a way, yes I am looking forward to Tim Burton's rendition of Charlie, but no one will ever play as awesome of a Willie Freakin' Wonka as Gene Wilder. No one. Not even the amazing Johnny Depp. He might be good, but he's not gonna outshine Gene. The kids are really not excited about seeing the new one at all. Hmh.

You really should write a 100 Things. I know I, for one, would love to read a hundred things about Collin.

Strangely enough, it's all true.

I was born a semi-diva. I married a redneck. Through the magic of osmosis or just because of a serious lack of sophistication over the years I have found a balance of the two that make me what I am today. And then I write about it all, much to the chagrin of my mother.