Bad Not Not RBS This Time

The loss-making Royal Bank of Scotland, which is 84% owned by the tax payer, will not be fined by the Financial Services Authority over customer complaints.

The FSA has not fined RBS £3.5 million for rejecting customer complaints which were clearly reasonable. Nor will it award £17 million in compensation to RBS customers, because "RBS is not the bank in question". RBS customers are, we assume, outraged.

RBS, which is not part of the Lloyds Group, has not agreed to review 8,614 rejected complaints, apparently because they were made to another bank.

A spokesperson for RBS refused to comment on the matter, because it has nothing to do with him.

The loss-making bank is 84% owned by the taxpayer.

The FSA's initial investigation confirmed that Bank of Scotland is not, in fact, the same as the Royal Bank of Scotland, and that it is in fact another bank in trouble this time.

The loss-making Royal Bank of Scotland, however, remains 84% owned by the taxpayer.

Leading financial analysts predicted RBS will probably be in trouble again tomorrow, or early next week.

The loss-making bank is 84% owned by the taxpayer, in case you weren't already aware of that.

It's something we like to keep mentioning, because it makes us feel big.