Foster Care

It is a tragedy that there are children in our nation sleeping in office buildings because they do not have a safe home to rest their heads. It is a tragedy that so many children do not know the loving touch of a mother or father. And it is a tragedy that not more people are stepping up to care for our nation's most vulnerable children. But there is hope!

Below you will find real stories, testimonies if you will, of real people somehow involved in the U.S. Foster Care System. We believe sharing real stories is the number one way to inspire others into action and we have seen the stories below inspire people to love and serve foster children. We want to see the number of children (currently somewhere around 415,000) in our country's system vanish! However, the only way we can wipe out the foster crisis is if we have more educated people getting involved in foster children's lives. How do you move people to action? You tell a story. So please share these stories and podcasts with everyone you know. Together we can end this tragedy.

Fear is a powerful force. For most of us, fear has shaped many of the decisions that have led to who we are today. Fear can be good and can keep us from harm. Fear can also be bad when it paralyzes us from doing what we know needs to be done. Many times these fears are unfounded, but we never take the chance to find out. So what do we do? How do we move on to become educated on a subject that elicits fear?

When it comes to foster care, the list of fears can be long. "Will they hurt me or my children?" "What if I get attached, and then the child goes back to their biological family?" "What if their birth parents hurt them or us?" "What if the child has some undiagnosed special needs or learning disabilities?" The list goes on and on... but one question lingers: Are these fears true? The answer is somewhere in the middle. Yes, these are real fears to consider, sometimes they happen, BUT they are by no means what is normal.

We have seen in foster care that these fears are often used as an excuse to not get involved. People often hear an extreme story third-hand from the friend of a friend. If you have never researched foster care then I would challenge you to resist latching onto horror stories heard through the grapevine. Look into foster care, children of trauma, and the resources available for foster families!

We know there are hard stories. We are dealing with children who have experienced trauma. But every adult we've interviewed who is actively involved in the foster care system wouldn’t go back if they had the choice... regardless of if they have had a difficult experience or not.

Not every person should adopt or be a foster parent. It is not the right choice for everyone, but there are other ways to get involved. Perhaps your friend or neighbor opens their home to a foster child - you can take the classes with them, or become an official respite care provider. What would it look like if people entered the foster system as a community rather than alone?

There are an estimated 319 million adults in America, and there are 415 thousand children in foster care. That means if 0.1% (that says point one, as in less than one percent) of adults in America chose to foster, and another 0.1% rallied behind them to support them, then there wouldn't be any more American children in foster care.

Did you hear us?

If those who had the slightest bit of interest in fostering asked three of their best friends to walk with them through the process, then they would have support from those three friends when they needed a break and things got hard. That simple step would help prevent kids from moving home to home, and provide a supportive and educated community around foster families.

Fear is a powerful force, it must be respected and battled at the same time. If we are going to fight, shouldn't we wage war for the most vulnerable children in our country? Let's battle together as a community and start eliminating the stereotypes, misinformation, and excuses. Dale Carnegie said, “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”

Foster Care Podcasts

In today's episode, we have an inspiring conversation with former foster youth, Maryssa Vasquez, as she shares with us about her past, growing up in foster care, and how an organization she joined in college has changed the direction of her life! Now, as the president of PUSH, Persevere UNTil Success Happens, Maryssa supports former foster youth by encouraging them and creating a space for them to heal by surrounding them with community. Maryssa is helping these youth overcome the odds and make it through college!

Streams of Burkina Faso has an orphan care portion of their organization and they are raising up the local villagers to foster and care for orphans. They are not an orphanage, rather they find families willing to care for vulnerable children until that child can be safely resettled back with it's biological family!

Julia was adopted as a one year old from Russia. From there, her family life was unhealthy and after a hard night and broken arm, Julia was removed from her home and placed into foster care and then a children's home. After feeling like she was in prison, Julia was placed in a new foster home where her foster dad's sister fell in love and asked if she could be her new mom.

In our interview with Randy we hear what made him take the plunge into foster care, what advice he would give parents just entering the foster care, what advice he would give to a friend of a foster family, why he believes community is essential in orphan care and about his amazing nonprofit, The Orphan Care Network!

In today’s interview we cover how Judge Martinez Jones actually became a judge, what the legal system is when a child is removed from their home, how the system works with biological families, why family visits and bonding are so important, and how to best approach a loving and healthy relationship with a child of trauma and their biological family.

Listening to Kayleigh’s wisdom and insight from a behind the scenes perspective is heart breaking, inspiring and so insightful. In today’s episode we cover what you need to know about the foster care system works, why children are taken from their families, insight on birth parent’s perspectives, some beautiful moments of healing in children of trauma, how you can learn more about fostering in your state and what the first steps are to get more information on foster care!

Jeanette takes us through the emotions of growing up knowing she was adopted but not knowing where she came from or her family heritage. Jolly sheds an important light on using your life and skills to advocate for others and even shares about the time she met her birth mom on live T.V. with Richard Simmons

In this podcast you hear the realness behind two foster parents trying to daily navigate a hard system in a broken world. If you've ever wondered if you could do it, if you could foster, please take a moment to listen to this important and inspiring podcast.

In our 5th episode of Around The World with The Archibald Project we sit down with Kendell and her husband Patrick and learn about their private adoption, future foster care process and their heart for children.

Foster Care Stories

My name is Tristan and I am 19 years old. When I was 14 I was placed into state custody for getting involved in things I shouldn’t have and after being in custody for 4 years, I was placed into a group foster home.

We’ve fostered 17 kids and adopted our two sons, ages 13 and 7. At this point, my husband and I only foster sex-trafficked teens and LGBTQ+ youth- two demographics of kids in care that are unfairly overrepresented. We just had our 15-year-old foster son reunify after several awesome months with him.

But now I’m a parent - to other people’s children. I LOVE the parenting part; caring for these children is my greatest joy. I’ve got a lot of experience with infants and kids and feel pretty comfortable there. But foster care isn’t regular parenting. It’s parenting on a roller coaster, with lots of other people involved. I’m still processing all that I’ve learned over the last year, but here are a few of my takeaways 18 months into this gig…

There are moments in our lives that define us, set the course of our future and if we’re lucky humble us in a way that keep us grounded in our beliefs. For me, one of these moments was walking through a Thai city dump with a Burmese refugee who has dedicated his life to supporting vulnerable children and families…

Something felt different when Steffany reached out. I knew that she was in desperate need of support but I needed to see a parent who was willing to meet me half way in this journey… and Steffany did just that and more. Watching her fall and get back up and seeing her determination to get her kids back inspired me beyond words.

This story might seem like “just another story” of hardship within foster care, and although this story is plagued with tragedy and sadness… I’ll spoil the ending for you… Today I have my kids back and I am here to tell you that there is hope for drug addicted mothers.

If you care about family unification and children getting out of the foster system I want to encourage you to invest in the parents. The best way to help parents resettle with their children is to be willing to be their to mentor and guide them if possible. Be a positive influence in their lives where they've maybe never had any. When we receive new children into our care we think about the moms and dads, how would they be feeling? You can do little things like text pics of the kids to mom several times a week, have the kids make her birthday gifts and Christmas gifts, make videos during the week and send those to mom to encourage her. Find ways to let mom know you aren’t trying to “take” her kids away from her but rather that you believe in her and want her kids to remember her.

That was the only information my husband and I received just days after we finished our foster care certification. We hastily built bunk beds (thank you, IKEA!) and got booster car seats, anticipating with excitement and dread (if I’m being honest!) the world-shift we were about to experience. But for five days, the boys didn’t come. Every day was going to be the day, but by the time we put our 10-month baby girl to sleep every night, the boys still hadn’t arrived. Finally, we got a call saying that the boys were not going to be placed with us. Instead, we were asked if we were willing to receive a 12-month old in three hours and pick up her baby sister from the hospital several days later? We looked at each other -- and the now irrelevant bunk beds and booster seats -- and said YES.

You don’t. You choose love, you choose loss, you choose them, every single day. Whether they will be yours forever or just until tomorrow, you adopt them in your heart for good, because that’s the only love that lasts, the forever kind of love. The love that wrecks you at the thought of them leaving, the love that causes you to re-work your entire schedule for them, your entire life for them.

As a therapist who specialized working with adoptive and foster families, the most consistent concern was how to help a child with behavioral issues. Parents would be confused and baffled by their child’s behavior. They would feel sad, angry, and scared. They wanted to help their precious kiddos, but they didn’t know what to do. If you find yourself in a similar place right now, you’re not alone.

Chrsytal Smith created Foster Village with one thought in mind—to give the foster community in Austin a village of support, of people who get it, of people who are present. Now, two years later, Foster Village has become a haven for both children and adults, a space where you can feel loved, supported, and most importantly, seen. With a background in child development and experience in teaching parent-education courses, Smith uses her skills to teach, encourage, and walk alongside foster parents in their journey.

“We first adopted Elijah, our very first placement who came to us at eight months old. His biological brother Mattais was our next child we adopted who we had brought home from the hospital as a newborn. The surprise call for baby Liam came a few years later, also a newborn from the hospital. We will tell anyone that the love we have for these boys is as if they had come from our own DNA and no less than that. We are now joyfully raising our tribe of three wild, wonderful boys who are now 6, 8 and 10…”

If every child aging out of foster care THIS year had a home, we'd have a societal saving of $6.5 billion in the United States! For every youth that ages out of foster care and enters a world of homelessness, poverty, unemployment or the criminal justice system, the community loses an engaged and contributing member to society. Instead, society gains a lonely adult often in need of continued, expensive public support. Studies show there's an estimated savings of $235,000 in total public benefits, including child welfare and human services costs, per child for every child that is adopted before aging out of foster care.

We saw the need and we knew that we had the desire and the means to meet it. Our passion is to equip kids to create a life for themselves that is different than what they are going through right now. We want to do so much more than “house kids in need”, we want to invest in them and then teach them how to invest in those around them.

I’m Sarah Wilson and I’m a CASA advocate. CASA stands for Court Appointed Special Advocate. I first got involved in CASA in 2014 while still an undergraduate student at the University of Iowa. I have always loved working with children, which is why I decided to study speech pathology. While working with children with special needs, I felt like I wanted to do more and that I had more to give. However, because I was a student, I felt like my options, as well as, my time, were a bit more limited in how I could reach out to help children in crisis. I had always thought about possibly becoming a foster parent and after doing some research, I found the CASA program and I knew immediately that it was the opportunity I was searching for!

My interest in foster care started because of my job as a NICU nurse. My patients came from all over our state, and they were the sick of the sick. We would frequently see patients go home with foster parents while, their birth parents were trying to get back on their feet and create a safe home environment for their children. I mentioned to Clay several times over the last 5 years that we could be foster parents, and he agreed, but we never felt the timing was right. After a year of infertility, I clearly heard the Lord tell me one morning that He had closed my womb so we could open up our home. Clay wasn’t as sure as I was, and was hesitant to agree.

From the other room we heard our eldest son whisper, “I know this is scary. When I went to my first home I was scared too. But we are safe and we will feed you and we won’t hurt you at all. I’ll be your buddy.” For the next week, that little boy was never more than two feet away from our eldest son, he was his safe person through that difficult and confusing time.

Years later, here I am, Alexis, a passionate foster momma. International adoption had always been plan A for me, not foster care. When my husband, Todd, and I began dating he jumped right on board with that plan. We began looking into adopting internationally when we were 21 and 22. We were accepted into a program, but when my husband decided to return to school, we decided to put a hold on adopting.

“My CASA asks about ME. She wants to know how I am and what I need. She comes to see me and just lets me talk or not talk, she lets me do what I need to do and I like that.” - nine year old boy talking about his assigned CASA advocate

Lending my voice to these children has changed my life and I have watched it change the lives of volunteers and children.

If you let it, foster care will stretch you in ways you never knew you could be stretched. It will open your eyes to a world full of injustice that you’ll never be able to unsee, but that you’ll wonder how you never saw it in the first place. It will change the way you think about people and it will teach you to love in the most amazing ways.

Fostering children, on my own, became a passion of mine when I was in my early 20’s. I had been in a long-term relationship that I had poured my heart into, and it all come crashing down. When I lost my relationship, I lost who I was. After my relationship ended I knew it was time to start loving the right people. I have a very strong passion to love children, to love them with all my being, to shelter and to protect them.

Foster care provides a temporary family for that child while the biological parents do what they need to do to get their kids back… We must remember that the biological families need our love and support just as much as the kids, and we need to be cheering them on during their recovery.

I honestly was afraid of foster care. I was afraid of the unknown. I was afraid of the complicated mess, and the endless sacrifices that have to be made. My life was comfortable and predictable and I was afraid of messing that up. I also doubted myself as a mom. I doubted that I had the ability to love a child that's not my own like he/she is my own, and to be able to continue to provide a loving home for my own children while adding the stresses of fostering.

We have learned that foster care is not about our needs as much as it is about the needs of the children. Many children who come into foster care have been subjected to neglect and abuse, however, giving a child a safe home, that is full of unconditional love – we feel, is one of the most rewarding and satisfying things in the world. There will be many things out of your control throughout the foster process, but the one thing you can control is your attitude regarding the situation and how you treat/respond to the children in your home.

Prior to getting involved, we both felt quite leery of looking into foster care. The stigma was strong growing up and we had our reservations about opening our home to the government! The horror stories and bad experiences people love to talk about were in our minds as well. But once we started pursuing it, we realized that these were nothing more than stigmas and that even if they were true, our desire and faith are stronger and greater than our fears and reservations.

Letting this fear rule me, listening to horror stories from the news and Facebook pages. This wasn't helpful thinking, either. Instead, we have been able to tackle foster care one day at a time. It's not always easy, and sometimes loving someone from a hard place is HARD, but again, it's so very worth it. The benefits and character growth that I've experienced through foster care is worth so much more than the pain and "suffering" it has caused.

Foster by state

The following numbers are based on external site's and their data. All numbers below are estimates and taken from the most recent year known. To find out more information about fostering or getting involved in foster care in your state, please click below.

(Each number was taken from the site the square is linked. These numbers are hard to find, sometimes years old and estimated.)