Man sues crow for pooping on his car, defacement of property claimed

New Delhi. After noticing how BJP leader Vijay Jolly was booked for defacement of private property when he put ink over the nameplate of a journalist accused of covering up a sexual assault case, a man has decided to sue a crow for regularly defacing his car.

Arrest warrant has been issued against a local crow Kauwa Prasad, after Monty Khurana sued it for putting bird droppings on his brand new Mercedes.

“I thank the Media, the National Commission of Women, and the Congress party for making an issue out of Vijay Jolly’s antics, else I’d have never known that defacement of private property or vandalism was a crime,” Monty told Faking News.

A poster of the accused has been released

“I have grown up seeing political parties putting posters on private walls, young guys drawing graffiti on scooters, random coloring of everything during Holi, and general vandalism during any other festival. I thought these things were part of our culture,” Monty explained.

Mr. Khurana said that his eyes were opened when there was widespread outrage over BJP leader Vijay Jolly putting black ink on the nameplate of Shoma Chaudhary, the ex-editor of Tehelka.

He checked Tehelka’s website and he saw a crow, and he recalled who has been defacing his private property all this while.

“That Kauwa has made life hell for everyone, but no one complains. However, times have now changed. If Jolly can be booked, that Kauwa must also be,” Monty demanded.

After Monty’s insistence, and due to the fact that he’s a relative of a top politician in Delhi, Delhi Police has registered a case against the crow, identified as 2-year-old Kauwa Prasad. Police sources say that Kauwa could be arrested on Monday morning.

However, the crow community is protesting against any such move by Delhi Police.

“What crap!” a crow from Mayapuri said, “Even human beings shit in the open at many places and they want us to do these things in some toilet? And why do they park their vehicles below places where we park ourselves?”

“And why have they not booked any pigeons? Why only crows? This is petty politics and not about defacement of property!” the crow claimed.