Humour: Jokes About Fathers

The Right ChoiceRyan, a 16-year-old, was out late with friends one night. Suddenly he realized it was Father’s Day and he had forgotten to buy a card for his dad. After much searching, Ryan located an open store, but was disappointed to find only two cards left on a picked-over rack. Selecting one, he brought it home and, somewhat sheepishly, presented it to his father.

Upon opening it, his dad read this message: “You’ve been like a father to me.” He looked at Ryan, puzzled.

“Well, Dad,” Ryan tried to explain, “It was either that or the card that said, ‘Now that I’m a father too!’”

Pop vs Pup

While flying from Denver to Kansas City, Kansas, a middle aged woman was sitting across the aisle from a lady and her eight-year-old son. The middle aged woman couldn’t help laughing as they neared their destination and she heard the mother say to the boy, “Now remember, run to dad first, then the dog.”

No. 1 On The Shopping List

My father was completely lost in the kitchen and never ate unless someone prepared a meal for him. When Mother was ill, however, he volunteered to go to the supermarket for her. She sent him off with a carefully numbered list of seven items.

Dad returned shortly, very proud of himself, and proceeded to unpack the grocery bags. He had one bag of sugar, two dozen eggs, three hams, four boxes of detergent, five boxes of crackers, six eggplants, and seven green peppers.

Drink Of Water

A small boy is sent to bed by his father.

Five minutes later: "Da-ad..."

"What?"

"I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?"

"No. You had your chance. Lights out."

Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad..."

"WHAT?"

"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"

"I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"

Five minutes later...: "Daaaa-aaaad....."

"WHAT!"

"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a glass of water?"

Talk to Your Son

Jimmy's mom dragged him in front of his dad during the football game.

"Talk to your son," she said. "He refuses to obey a word I say."

The father turned to Jimmy angrily. "Jimmy, how dare you disobey your mother. Do you think you're better than your old man?"