“I didn’t mean to hit Tomas [Vokoun] in the head. I was really drunk and for that, I am ever so apologetic and take full responsibility for my actions,” Ballard said. “I didn’t know that was his ear I was chopping off. I’m no Mike Tyson, it’s just that due to my drunken state, I thought he was that girl from The Blair Witch Project. After giving such a horrendous performance in the movie, the least I could is bash her in the face.”

Vokoun gave a heartfelt speech on the accident.

“I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to ask me on the other side,” Vokoun said. “I can’t hear in that ear anymore, thanks to the Blair Witch puncher.”

Meanwhile, Artest is not regretful whatsoever for his decision to give Ballard the alcohol.

“Damn, son. If that was me, I woulda gotten so drunk that I would threatened a guy with my skate, like Adam Sandler did in Happy Gilmore,” Artest said. “Oh, who am I kidding? I’d threaten a guy with my skate even if I weren’t drunk.”

This is not the first time Artest has offered intoxication substances to a professional player.

Two years ago, Artest gave Judah Maccabee of the Jew York Knicks Manischewitz wine just six games into the season. After an altercation in the third quarter, Maccabee threatened to take off Cohain Goldberg’s yarmulke. This incident led to a seven-game suspension for Maccabee.
Game Notes:
If you are a player in the NHL, drinking alcohol excessively may make you see random bad actors and actresses on the ice.