The farm and farmhouse

About Me

Hi! Im a wife in my low twenties, living on a farm in the Midwest. Just trying to make ends meet and save for our future as we remodel our old farmhouse, and stay out of debt.
____________________________
As of November 2018

Viewing the 'Uncategorized' Category

I made a happy oopsie. I totally forgot my job upped my vacation time to 60 hours this year. Which is quite a bit since I only work 15 hours a week.

Well I thought I was about out of vacation time so I double checked how much I had left and was pleasantly surprised to see I have 35 hours left. Since I have to use it by the end of the year and have no vacations planned I am just going to cash out 5 hours a week until the end of the year. That extra money will help me buy Christmas presents and get ahead.

Husband worked 12 hour days all this week including the weekend. Whew. He sure is tired but the extra money is certainly welcome.

I am down to only $16 left floating on my CC. So on Monday I will be able to pay that off and all expenses from here on out will have cash in the bank to cover everything put on the CCs. Woo hoo!

Goat show went well. We made about $1,000 but it cost $700 in expenses. We also had car troubles and had to get towed and go to a mechanic. Ugh. But I was able to keep my half. So I made $150 + $50 from the sale of my goat (after purchasing another cheaper one). So I came home with $200. Not sure yet where I am going to put this. Probably just send it to the animal fund.

Husband wants me to get that fund up to $4,500 (a year's worth of animal expenses) so I can stop using part of my weekly paycheck for animal food. We'll see.

Husband's payday is today. I put back money for all the bills and paid my mortgage. My balance is down to $114,861.80. Which means we have paid down into the next thousand barrier.

In another week we will have enough money saved to pay completely for our annual house insurance. I didn't think we would be able to save $1,300 in only a few months but we did it! I have the deposit on auto-pay so by this time next year at the current schedule we should have about $2,000 extra saved for our emergency fund on top of having enough for taxes and insurance.

In the spring we will also begin saving in an HSA. I will be okay with this saving rate for the time being and the rest of our extra funds will be allocated towards paying down the CCs. I have a crazy goal in my head of having them paid off by April 2020. That would be about $740 a month which is pretty unrealistic currently. BUT I am hoping we will be able to throw a couple big chunks at them from either overtime or side projects. So we'll see.

The goat show is quickly approaching. I have a goat sold at the show which is awesome since I am also picking up a goat a bought. Oops. I will still make about $100 off the the sale. Hoping I win lots of money at the show.

Sadly my CC floating went from -$55 to $-150. Dog food was on sale so I bought 3 bags rather than my normal 1. And I found the perfect sweater for our annual Christmas sweater contest and it was 60% off so I went ahead and bought it. Oops. Oh well. I'll catch up eventually. lol.

We ended up going out to a very fancy Italian restaurant for our anniversary. It was very fun to "play rich" for an evening.

It appears like husband will be working 12 hour days next week and probably the weekend as well. Whew. Poor guy. But that will give us all the money for black Friday shopping and most of our Christmas presents.

November has an "extra" paycheck week so I am going to use that to put towards the home CCs. I am hoping that I will be able to make my goal as long as I can get enough web design work by the end of the year.

I went ahead and set up a $75 weekly transfer from my checking to savings for our Escrow and EF. I've never done an automatic savings transfer before so that is exciting! Before we always just tried to save what we had left. It's nice to be able make it a priority.

In my last post someone commented that maybe my husband's company matches 50% up to 10% for retirement. I wonder if they are right! Husband was told 10% but he isn't very knowledgeable about stuff like that, so he might have mis-understood. That would be awesome if that is true. He is set to contribute 3% for now, and it increases 1% every year automatically. I am hoping we will be able to raise it next year but we need to settle into the budget first.

Thanks for all the comments and advice about my husband and the budget. He definitely is not a big spender or usually a whiner about money but I think he is nervous about the new job and changes and he is just projecting. I averaged all his credit card statements and showed him that he has been spending an exact average of what fun money he will be getting and that he will be saving about $10 a week in gas with the job change. Plus he won't have to pay for so many discrepancies. He will be fine. I am okay if he wants to buy a little treat for himself to celebrate us getting insurance and a better job. We've been tight for so long, and he deserves it.

Husband's new retirement contributions started this week. We were told they give you 10% of whatever you contribute which is a really awful match. But his paycheck is showing that they matched 50% of what he put it... So who knows. lol. We will take it!

Unfortunately husband had a bit of another melt down once he saw his spending get even smaller... I've asked him to do the budget himself or handle the finances but he won't. I think he believes I am taking all his money and spending it on myself or something. So frustrating.

I have everything mapped out to the dollar so everything is accounted for. But he just can't understand how he can make $400 more a month and it's already gone without increasing our fun money. He doesn't grasp that we were living check to check and that the $400 a month was floating on credit cards, and borrowing from his car money all the time.

I have always done all the budgeting and bills so I guess he just didn't realize how tight we were. I will have to keep encouraging him to be more involved in our finances, but it's like pulling teeth. Ugh.

He is going to have to start paying union dues next week which will be another $10 a week out. But he should be receiving a $20 a week raise in the next month, so it will even out.

I'm not sure how much fun money he is wanting a week. If he would just give me a number I would just let him have it and figure out a way to cover the difference so he stops driving me crazy. I don't think he even knows or really wants more. I think he is just upset that he is working a harder job and doesn't feel like he is getting anything more from it compared to his old job. I'm sure he will settle down eventually, just one of those moods.

Today I am feeling the squeeze with the budget. Which is crazy since our income increased, and I was just reassuring husband that is was fine, lol.

We have all our needs met, we are putting back money every week. We aren't struggling. But I looked at the forecast for the next several months and realized that I have already planned out all my spending for the next 7 weeks. 3 weeks for the blinds and bathroom accessories, 2 weeks for a new car battery, 2 weeks for a fun item I have been wanting.

That puts me all the way at Thanksgiving. And we were going to do a little black Friday shopping this year. So I'd like to put some sort of money back for that.

Christmas is quickly approaching. Husband and I agreed to purchase one larger item to share on black Friday as our main "present" and we will set a smaller limit for each other for gifts to open on Christmas.

Our anniversary is this month and we were wanting to go away for the weekend since we did nothing at all last year. But I don't see how we can swing it without pulling from savings which I'd rather not. Plus we aren't sure with husband's new job if he will be working weekends or not so I really can't make reservations or anything. Ugh.

I have a goat sold at the end of the month. Normally that money is put back into my animal saving fund but I may end up using it for either black Friday shopping, Christmas presents, or for our anniversary.

Otherwise I would love to figure out a way to scrounge up some extra income. I am owed about $133 from past web projects but payment is sketchy at best. They recently asked me to do another project for them and I implied that I wasn't willing to pick up any more work because they never pay me. They promised they will send it soon... Hopefully that will light the fire, but we'll see.

We got husband's first check at the new job. I am so thankful that we essentially got double paid+ since he also received a full check from his old employer and vacation hours.

This will essentially pay off all of our personal monthly credit cards, and allow us to put money back to switch from our currently bi-weekly budget to a new weekly budget since his new job gets paid weekly, and so do I.

Something I found as odd is that his new employer rounds up the hours. They don't do partial hours for regular pay and they don't pay less than .5 hours for overtime which is interesting. I've never seen a job do that before. He actually worked almost 1 hour less one day, and then worked about 15 minutes over another day. They do their overtime as anything over 8 hours in a day. So his check was surprisingly a full 40 hours of regular pay plus .5 hours of overtime. Even though he actually worked less than 40. It's a small amount of extra but we'll take it!

Tomorrow we are going out to dinner to celebrate his new job.

I sold a couple goats and have put that money back for the fence repair. The guy is hopefully finally starting this weekend. (weather permitting)

I added up my house CC payments and so far this year I have paid $3,576 in debt. That means I have $1,424 to go before the end of the year or about $475 a month. I'm not sure if that is doable or not but it will be close. I don't think this is bad at all though considering I had to spend over $2k on an unexpected fence repair.

I received multiple checks today that I had been waiting on so I went ahead and made a trip to town to deposit and pay some bills.

I paid the mortgage, our final real estate tax installment, my estimated self employment income tax for the year, and paid the rest towards the credit cards. Whew, it is crazy when several thousand go in and out in one day. But it feels good to tick some bills off.

Husband's first day at his new job is today. He was feeling quite sad about leaving his old one all weekend. They really did love him at his old job. His coworkers got together and gave him a card and $150 as a goodbye gift, and he received a gift card for dining and some cookies and candy. His boss said if he ever wants to come back he is welcome. It is a real shame that he had to give up such a nice job due to expensive health insurance. USA healthcare stinks.

Over the weekend we went out with friends and spent some of his gift money on having fun and taking his mind off the new job.

Now for a question. I've seen it mentioned that instead of putting his old 401k in his new 401k that we should move it to an IRA. What is the benefit of this, when all three accounts are at Vanguard and in the same funds? His 401K and his IRA are both ROTH. Can we move rollover his Roth 401K to his Roth IRA without any penalties or taxes? I plan on calling Vanguard and discussing with them but I have to add myself as an agent on his account first.

It appears we will be getting about $1,500 in "extra" money since his current job pays a check behind and also he is cashing in his retirement days.

Don't know exact numbers yet but we plan on paying off both of our monthly credit cards, putting back enough to pay the house & car insurance in full, go out to a nice celebratory dinner, and the rest will probably be put towards either the fence or one of the home credit cards.

We got his 401K numbers yesterday. He currently has $18,167 in his account. We will be rolling this over to the new employer's 401K plan. Both are held at Vanguard so hopefully it will be easy.

This weekend we went across the country for a friend's wedding. We went with couple of friends and their parents. I am very fortunate that the parents (my doctor, lol!) paid for the hotel rooms and we just pitched in a bit of money. They were also so sweet and paid for most all of everyone's food and gas all weekend. They said it was their treat. We would have not been able to go otherwise....

It was sort of a strange wedding. For one they have only been together a couple months. We've (including the groom's immediate family) only met her once for like 2 hours. One of the groom's sister met her for the first time at rehearsal dinner actually. The venue was in the middle of nowhere but counted as a "resort." The rooms were $250 a NIGHT. I almost choked when I heard that. You would think it would be the best hotel ever but the rooms were pretty standard rooms that you would find at any cheap hotel. There was not even a microwave in the room. All the amenities cost of course so we mostly sat around and chatted with old friends or played games.

The hotel had 3 restaurants and the standard dinner plate price was $30, breakfast was $20.

I expected the wedding to be very lavish because of the venue but it was actually one of the most odd/simple weddings I have been to.

The couple are very conservative and the long sermon was about women submitting and being gentle. It was very stern and sounded more like a business transaction than a celebration. No one hardly smiled. The bride wore a very simple dress that looks like it was off the rack from the mall. All of them wore flowered crowns and bare feet.

The reception was equally odd. The wedding started at 5 and then the dinner was around 6:30. (waited for pictures) The food was buffet style and you got a brownie with your meal. There was no cake! There were no decorations. Just white tablecloths and a couple tea lights on each table. Everyone was served water only. They had one pitcher of unsweet tea and lemonade way in the back but no one ever announced where it was or to go get some.

The entire thing seemed very rushed. As you finished your plate someone would come in the scoop it up asap. By 8pm they made everyone get up and the workers cleared all tables and put everything away.

No music, no dancing, etc. The couple left at 8pm sharp. We barely had anytime to enjoy dinner or friends before we were shooed out.

The entire thing just really had no joy or personalization. But for the wedding being so odd we did have a good time sitting around afterwards and catching up. Overall I'm glad we went and it was fun to "play rich" for a couple days.

He won't start for a few weeks yet, but this change should very positively affect our life. The pay is even better than expected. Not only does he get a 25% salary increase, he will get at least another $1 raise after his probationary period.

But most of all we will have access to very affordable and good health insurance. Worrying about getting insurance when I am kicked off mine next year was a huge stressing point for me. Now I feel secure that my expensive medicines and healthcare needs will be taken care of.

We have to decide if we want the HRA or HSA plan. We are leaning towards the HSA just so I can roll it over and save it up for the future.

The only downside to the new job is that husband may have to work nights for a while until a daytime position opens up. But hopefully it is only temporary.

We will also have to cancel our planned trip to Yellowstone next year since his vacation time won't kick in for 12 months.

Overall we are both excited and a little nervous but the thought of being much more comfortable financially sounds almost too good to be true. I am expecting a $400 a month increase after taxes and tithes, with good raises and growth in the future.

Until the end of the year we will use the extra money to "catch up." We have taxes, home and car insurance, and the fence repair all due in the next month or so.

Husband passed the first phone interview. Now he has an in person interview tomorrow evening. I would appreciate any prayers and good thoughts.

Starting pay is $3 an hour more than he is making now plus room for advancement. The biggest plus though is insurance! I need affordable health insurance badly, so this could be an answer to our prayers.

Trying not to get my hopes up too much in case it doesn't work out, but it's hard not to imagine the positive impact this would make on our life...

Husband has been wanting a new used car for a while and we have saved for years but unfortunately it seems like his car fund is the first thing to get raided every time something comes up. We finally decided that he will make some repairs to his old car and continue to drive it as long as possible and hold off on a new car for now.

Since we are hoping to get a couple more years out of it we went ahead and did some minor repairs we have been putting off. Thankfully husband and his dad can do most repairs and so far we have only had a $50 charge from the mechanic and about $100 in materials, which is amazing. Father in law frequents junk yards and always finds the best sales online.

They have replaced the breaks, a wheel bearing, some old rusted tie rods, tracking bar, new door, spark plugs, and the fuel filter. Also going to get new headlights.

I paid the first installment of property taxes for the first time.

We have started working on the house again and just have a few more minor things until we are on to optional and fun projects only.

This has been a busy week. We've been volunteering for vacation bible school at church nightly. We leave as soon as husband gets home from work and don't get home until after 9pm. Tonight is the last day thank goodness.

Yesterday I had to get a couple hundred bales of hay bought, picked up, and stored away. My parents usually assist with this (it's half theirs) but they are gone on vacation so I had to hire some help.

Tomorrow we are volunteering in the morning and then we have to go shopping, clean the house, and work on the new bathroom.

I am having a flare up with my lungs and any sort of physical exertion makes me very short of breath. I also feel exhausted. But unfortunately I have a TON of web design work to do which is quickly falling behind. Ugh. I feel like I could just curl up and sleep for a week. I tried to go to bed really early last night but as per usual I couldn't sleep. I toss and turn all night even with sleeping pills.

My birthday is next week and I am just not excited at all. I feel poorly, and have so much to do. I also have to work on my birthday so it's just another busy day to me.

As a side note: Husband did not get his dream job. He didn't even get an interview which is really disheartening. I think the position was probably filled by someone in the inside or a friend.

The new mortgage will completed today allowing me to finish one of my 2018 goals! Huzzah!

My new mortgage amount is $115,594.76.

Our new payment (counting escrow and some extra) is $750 which is actually lower than old mortgage and LOC. It ranged anywhere from $800 - $900 for interest ONLY on the LOC. It will be nice to see the numbers finally starting to go down albeit slowly.

The only thing I am upset about is that I am taking over the escrow for the insurance and taxes. Instead of asking me they just took all the escrow I had already built over the last year and used it to pay down the loan. Now my taxes are due in August and the insurance in November and I am going to have to start from scratch. Approximately $1,500, ugh. They took too long getting the papers together and too late to rewrite everything to give me the escrow. Oh well. I'll come up with it somehow. I put back $200 from this check already.

I paid both of my personal credit cards down to $0. Which is great considering I just got the statement today. Wednesday when I deposit my check I will also pay the monthly minimums of the house CCs.

Goats have started selling. I have over $1,000 put back for hay. (Need $1,500 total for the year.) Once I get the remaining $500 set aside, I will start applying the goat money towards fixing the fence. I am hoping if I can get all my kids sold I will have enough to pay for it out of pocket.

Besides that not much to report. Hoping for a relaxing and calm summer.

#1 I booked a girls weekend trip to Florida on our remodel deadline as a push to finish and then celebrate... Maybe not the best idea, but I do get free housing and we are doing red eye flights for cheap.

#2 A brand new camaro missed the curve, ran through about 200 feet of my fence and then ramped over my dam and about 50 feet out into my pond. They must have been going over 100 MPH. The car sunk. The people managed to swim to safety. Driver and passenger were unharmed surprisingly, just cold and wet. They came inside to warm up and I gave them some clothes. Police, firemen, EMTs showed up.

Well they got the car out the next day. Which was fun to watch. But now I have 40 goats without a pasture to eat and no hay. No one has hay this time of year. Pond is likely unsafe due to antifreeze and other fluids leaking. Vet says wait at least 2 weeks. Fencing guy can't come for a while to replace fence. Had to go purchase $500 worth of supplies and had friends help me fence off part of the yard so they had somewhere to go temporarily.

Well today I find out they likely don't have any insurance.

It is going to cost me about $2,000 for the temporary fence and to replace the original. Not counting labor, stress, time, etc. There is tiny bits of glass and plastic all over my pasture to clean up. It is a disaster. I've been on the phone for hours trying to track the insurance down. No one will help me. Police doesn't care, my insurance doesn't care. I'm screwed. I'll have to take them to small claims court, but not sure if it is even worth it.

Our house deadline is just a couple weeks away and now I have to deal with all this. I have no money and no time. It's just been a horrible week.

I am sending the check today for the HVAC to be paid in full. Very happy the owner was willing to give me some time to come up with the money.

Have about $1,400 on CCs that need paid next month. Thankfully husband has been working 2 hours of overtime daily for the last 3 weeks. Still continuing for now. Long days for him but thankful for the extra cash. He isn't usually offered overtime so this is a special occurrence.

Today I paid all the credit card bills and utilities. This was on the first statement day for the March due dates, so now I'm "free" until April! Whoot whoot.

I love paying sooner rather than later. It means I'm caught up and not falling behind. Saturday we will be going shopping for a couple house items and clothing. I have some left over gift cards from Christmas so we will go out to a nice free dinner.

Goats will start kidding in two weeks. I can't believe spring is already just around the corner!

First the good news. My parents are receiving a very large tax return and have graciously decided to give us a gift large enough to cover the entire HVAC bill!

That means I only need to come up with $350 more to cover paying the drywall finisher. Which I will have in March from our "extra" paycheck. It will be so nice to be caught up and only have our normal bills.

Now for good (I guess?) but not so fun part. I've been working a lot of hours at my web design job. Yay for money! But I've also been trucking on the house every single day, and my secretary job is crazy busy. I'm getting really burnt/worn out with everything.

Here is my current schedule:
Monday, Tuesday, & Thursday I get up early and work on web design until noon. Then my dad comes over and we work on the house until 5. At which time my husband gets home and we cook dinner, feed animals, and then work on the house again until usually 10pm.

Wednesday I work all day at my secretary job until about 8pm except for a short break to run home and feed animals and then come home and work on the house until bed.

Friday's I work all day and then we go grocery shopping/run errands, get home around 9 after which is our "time off."

Saturday and Sunday we work on the house all day...

As you can see there isn't much time for sleeping, relaxing, friends, etc. Both jobs have been crazy busy, and I have been having to bring home secretary work to finish at night to keep up. And as if I didn't have enough to do my boss told me today I need to start working on Tuesdays again for a while. UGH!

I keep telling myself this is only temporary but goodness I can't do this much longer. I am driven to work hard on the house to finish. But I am getting quite sour about my real jobs. Especially my secretary job which contributes the most frustration/stress and rewards the least. I hope I can get through the next two months.

Husband's work still hasn't given out their Christmas bonus... It is normally deposited by now. No one knows what is going on, but the workers are starting to worry that there won't be a bonus this year. I hope not. So many people live check to check and husband said lots of people have already spent that money on Christmas presents, etc. (Including us!)

If it doesn't come we will manage. But the thought of a company not giving out a bonus (which they have given out for 75 years) makes me sick. How could they do that to their workers? They continue to get greedier and greedier, so it wouldn't be a huge surprise. Husband is saying people will strike if they withhold the bonus. I hope they are just taking longer than normal. *fingers crossed*

In other news, house is slowly going along. Still waiting on the mud/taper. He was supposed to start today but no word yet. :/ That is holding up a lot of progress.

Still trying to figure out goals for 2018. I will have to make another post for that.

Arg! It's almost time for the flurry of bills due all at the same time again. I was hoping to be in a better spot this month, but my owed check STILL hasn't come yet. Looks like I am going to be about $180 short if I don't scrape up some more hours or the check doesn't come. I really really don't want to pull from savings again. But I will if I have to. I'll be glad when our refinance is over and I can get better control over the finances again.

Not only that but it was a big spendy weekend. I got several things for the remodel we needed. (Thankfully we had money back for this.) I got most of my Christmas shopping done, and also bought a baby shower gift. Only spent $10 on myself, on some much needed undergarments.

All told I spent about $220 that wasn't previously saved for. Which isn't a huge amount to spend on Christmas, but is still money that will have to be paid by the statement.

Our remodel deadline is quickly approaching. I am happy to say the tile, and vanity has been ordered, and the drywall upstairs is complete! Now we are waiting on the mud and taper to finish so we can start painting, hooking up electric, etc.

The main big expenses left is paying for the plumbing hookup, and the flooring. After that we will be on the home stretch, thank goodness!

Husband should be getting a Christmas bonus in the next couple weeks. Planning on using about $200 for gifts. The rest will be put towards retirement or into paying down house bills. Not sure on the total he will get but in years past it has averaged about $700.

Well I did it. This was the week of all the large bills hitting at once. I paid everything today. I did end up transferring $300 from savings, but will pay it back as soon as I get the check I am waiting on (hopefully sometime next week).

Mortgage is down to $44,415.49

Now I have to be more careful in the future to make sure I have enough cash to cover expenses even if my design check is late.

I am hoping to do a little black Friday shopping for Christmas presents this year, and also there are a couple tools we could really use for the house. I will have to work extra or brainstorm ideas on how to come up with some extra money for this.

Some good news. I found out I am getting a $.50 raise and also another week of vacation next year at my office job. It only equates to about $25 a month, so not much, but everything helps.

Ugh. This is the first month where I've really had to be on top of bill dates and what order I am going to pay. Usually I just pay as they come in. But stupid me put $800 (home remodel stuff) on a credit card thinking I'd be able to pay if off before the due date no problem. Well I forgot we don't have as much wiggle room anymore to just cash flow such large expenses.

Money is coming in. I just never know which day I will get my design check. So in case it is late I need to pay bills carefully.

It's a pain, but I'm not too worried. I do have an EF I can pull from, but it's in a savings account so I would have to transfer and I just don't want to if I can help it.

In the future I need to be much more careful. I also realize I need to keep a bigger buffer in my checking account. I don't want to have to juggle things again.

In better news. I set a goal for working on design this month, and not only did I do all those hours, I set a bigger goal and did those too! Hurray! If I can keep that up our finances will be in much better shape.

Husband did not get the high paying job he applied for, which was expected.

No word yet on the job with good hours. It has been a couple months now and they still haven't hired anyone, so I am doubting they will.

Oh well. We are okay for now.

I have about a million trips planned the next couple months. Ugh! This month I will be gone for a weekend for a show. Then another 14 hour trip to deliver goats and visit a friend. Then next month we are going on a weekend road trip with some friends as a last hurrah before husband's friend leaves for the military. One of my friends is getting married a couple states over and I am in the wedding so I will be gone for a weekend for that. Then most likely we will go camping or something for our anniversary. Yikes!

Thankfully they are all cheap trips. But still a lot of driving, planning, etc.

Today is payday, and next payday is an "extra" one. We will likely use some of the funds for our weekend trips, and some to pay down our home loans.

Floating along. We haven't wracked up anymore house debt, but we have had several larger household expenses pop up such as doctors visits, vet visits, etc. Just trying to keep everything cash flowed.

Finally got some checks I have been owed since May. Yikes! That allowed me to pay the mortgage, LOC, and the minimums on both home CCs. All caught up for now.

Home addition is still going well. We are started putting up drywall! That makes such a large difference.

Friend is committed to the military and can't back out now. He signed up for 6 years. Oh well. I am just hoping that getting away from his family will help him. He is going to leave most of his stuff here where it will be safe.

Husband has gotten no word back on the two jobs he has applied for. Phewy. He will test for the two other jobs soon.

My husband's best friend is too nice. His family is lazy, has a lot of kids, and is dirt poor. They have always struggled badly. As the older brother he has always felt the need to help them out, and they take advantage of him. He moved back in with them to help. For some more back story they live in a shed they fixed up in someone's back yard. He shares a very small room with his two younger brothers...

He pays the bills, keeps the heat on, feeds the kids, loans them money, etc. He can not/will not say no. They have opened personal loans in his name and credit cards. He is naive and let them on their word of they will pay him back. They even convinced him to buy a house in his name for them this year. Thankfully it fell through.

He is not good with money, but he isn't bad. He works hard, and pays his bills. But he doesn't really understand interest rates, saving, etc. He is going to school full time, does an unpaid internship full time, and works full time. He is pulling 16 hour days. His mom has never worked, and his dad is a part time "handy man." (eye roll)

Well last week out of the blue he told us that his parents have so much debt in his name that he is drowning and can no longer keep up with the bills. His only option would be to drop out of school and the internship so he could pick up a second job which he doesn't want to do. I think he wants a quick fix. So he came up with his great idea that he would join the military and use the sign on bonus to pay off his debt, and they would pay for his school.

This guy is not cut out for the military. He is sensitive, quiet, and way too meek and kind. I think it would ruin him. He isn't excited about it or wants to do it but in his head it is the only way to get out of the mess.

He only has $20-$30k debt. We told him we would help him budget and if he got a better job he could pay it off. He says he will never get anywhere unless he gets away from his parents. Which I agree, but he has been unsuccessful finding a roommate and can't afford to live on his own. Husband's parents offered to let him live with them. (He is like family and has lived with them when he was younger.) But he refuses to pause school to pay down the debt.

He sprung this on us last week and said he was going to meet with a recruiter. Husband advised him to not sign up for anything and think about it for a while. We invited him over for the weekend so we could sit down and work out a solution for him. Well the next day he called back and said he signed up. Husband is ticked and says he has made up his mind and refuses to try and reason with him anymore. But I think he is making a horrible split second decision and is going to regret it.

I am so mad and sick about this. How DARE his parents use him, and take advantage, and feel no remorse about him having to join the military to pay for them. Oh BTW his mom is on vacation in Florida right now...

It is sad that he is making a life changing decision over $20k in debt. His parents are toxic, and once he gets out he is just going to get into the same mess again if he can't learn to tell them no and budget better.

Ugh. Just needed to rant. He has signed up but not sworn in yet. So I'm not sure if it is too late now. But I am still hoping he comes to his senses. Husband is being mad about it right now and doesn't want to talk about it, but I know he is upset and hurt. His friend stays at our house several times a month and even has a toothbrush here. Friend lived at his parents house during their teenage years (family couldn't afford their kids), so they are like brothers. I think he feels betrayed that his friend signed up without even talking to him about it first.