UPDATE: Here they are, everybody. Yeah, I guess we’re so used to overpaying for gimmicky food that we might as well also wait in line in the rain for it. I’m being serious. I waited in line for 18 hours to see Star Wars Episode 1, even though I didn’t like the first ones and happily slept through it. Waiting in line with all the crazy fanatics, hearing their stories, playing with light sabers, that was the real fun of it.

The price to pay for that sweet, sweet authenticity. They’re from New York, you know – the ONLY source for bagels, pizza, and savoir faire. Now you know what a bagel should REALLY taste like. Not that different? Pfft! Philistine! No, you can’t have your money back.