Monday, November 10, 2008

Some suggestions.

Since it looks like maybe we'll have to celebrate this new holiday, I came up with some guidance as to how to best do so.

HAGGADAH FOR The One Day

This is the fruitcake of our affliction, which our ancestors bought from a coop bakery managed by a bald guy with a ponytail.

All who are in need, come and celebrate The One with us.All who are hungry, come and partake of this fruitcake, as The One's tenure pretty much implies, "Let them eat cake."This year we watch The One coming to power and ruling, next year may our 401(k) not be cast into the janitor's closet.

Some have the custom to place the gift-wrapped presents under the tree so that they will pique the curiosity of the children so that they will ask the Four essential questions:

1- How come I have presents and The One didn't visit us yet?2- Did Tony Rezko bring gold, Rev. Wright frankincense and Bill Ayers myrrh? Or am I getting all those guys mixed up?3- What is this tingling in my leg?4- Why is Keith Olbermann off his meds?

We were slaves to the Republicans, working eleven days a week with no benefits, and then the Democrats took Congress, and allowed us a four-day workweek and many holidays. Now if the Democrats had not gotten their act together, then we, and our sons, and even our grandsons, would still have to wait for The One, waiting to be delivered from acceptable tax rates and judges who narrowly go by the written word. Of course, our daughters and granddaughters still await their salvation.

There are four types of children who ask questions on The One Day: the wise one, the bad one, the unintelligent one, and the one who does not know to ask.- What does the wise one ask? I don't know. He managed to flee to the Cayman Islands.- What does the bad one ask? He says, "What is UP with this holiday?" Since he absents himself from the bosom of the family, you must shun him from the table, and he will go to the Cayman Islands with his brother to be left the Hell alone.- What does the unintelligent one ask? He asks, "What's this?" You answer him, "This is government cheese."- To the one who does not even know to ask, you must tell him, "At least you voted like the man who gave you the bottle in the paper bag told you."

If we would have a puff piece from CNN, but not have an endorsement from The Washington Post, it would have been enough.If we would have an endorsement from The Washington Post, but not get an injunction from a Clinton-appointed judge, it would have been enough.If we would get an injunction from a Clinton-appointed judge, and not get a community organizer, it would have been enough.If we would get a community organizer, but not get a Democrat legislature, it would have been enough.If we would get a Democrat legislature, but not a Democrat Governor, it would have been enough.If we would have a Democrat Governor and not gotten rid of George Bush, it would have been enough.If we would have gotten rid of George Bush, but not see Democrats win the House of Representatives, it would have been enough.If we would Democrats win the House of Representatives, but not see Democrats win the Senate, it would have been enough.If we would see the Democrats win the Senate, and not have The One ruling us, it would have been enough.

(Pick up the Kool-AidTM and say:) But we do have a puff piece from CNN, and we have an endorsement from The Washington Post, and we got an injunction from a Clinton-appointed judge, and we got a community organizer, and we got a Democrat legislature, a Democrat Governor, and rid of George Bush, and we watched the Democrats win the House of Representatives, and saw the Democrats win the Senate, and so we will now toast The One, and pray that we do not get voter's remorse in the morning: "Yay One!!"