Here's an alternative for the next time you need to go to the cosmetic counter to try out a new lipstick or foundation: Instead, why not just stick your face into a pile of used Kleenex? Or lick all the surfaces of your kid's school nurse's office? Why not lie face down on the floor and wait patiently for death because that's where all these germs — germs found on everyday makeup samples — are going to take you.

Yes, according to GMA, cosmetic counters are the latest contributors to the ever-growing list of Things That Will Kill You ("How delicate it is, this human life," chuckles Sephora, its voice barely above a whisper, as it continues to stroke a pristine persian cat). Surprise, surprise: The majority of samples and applicators available at makeup vendors are caked with mold and bacteria much like every other thing on this entire planet. Brushes and foundations are among the worst offenders, with makeup experts suggesting that you test foundations on your neck rather then your face and science experts suggesting that you don't put communal makeup in an open cut, which, sure, okay — no problem, Science. With lipstick, they recommend testing colors on the pad of your finger (A.K.A. the mouth of your hands) and that, no matter what you are testing, you use a disposal applicator.

Follow those instructions? Good. Now, you're safe until next week, when the morning news shows will announce that wearing a pea coats is a symptom of early onset dementia. Be afraid. This world is out to get you, and get you it eventually will.