The real secret of our program is teaching the children and staff how to evaluate their behavior choices of the day. It is good that we teach the 5 Needs, the 4 parts of behavior, that each person is responsible for their own behaviors, but without the ability to rationally examine their choices and ask themselves, "Did I get what I wanted when I chose that behavior or would it have been better if I had chosen .......?", the program is incomplete.​ The following are some other questions that can help our children and staff evaluate:

What Need did I want to fulfill when I chose to do that?

At what point could I have chosen a different behavior that might have given me a more effective outcome?

Did my behavior choices bring me closer to the people I want to be close to or push us further away from each other?

Was what I wanted something in my quality world, or was it a frivolous, or fleeting thought I chose to act upon?

How did that work out for me?

Our whole system is built on our ability to self evaluate: for everyone, not just the children. My daughter, Dr. Jill, always says, "If you are having difficulty with the children, check the behavior of the staff or parents. It is usually something that can be evaluated and corrected when adults change their attitude and behaviors." We will be offering more classes on the subject of evaluation, and teaching and sharing more ways to ask the questions that help us evaluate. Come join the fun!!

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"My name is Carla Atkinson and this is a blog for foster parents and group homes. We will discuss laws, new and old. We will share ideas and we together, we will work to make the lives of children a little better."

Jim & Carla Atkinson have been married 54 years, raised more than 200 foster children and have 80 grandchildren (and more on the way!) Together they have six group homes and one large campus in California. Carla Atkinson, the author, created this space to share highs and lows, and support others who love kids as much as we do. Please visitthe Atkinson Family Services website for more information.