Falling in love at the wrong juncture

First guest story at tinytidbits. You too can submit your stories here.

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Sometimes things happen too fast and by the time you slow down or take a step back, you find yourself in a big mess. I was in similar situation recently.

You came in my life at a time when I have decided that I am done with all this love crap. Period of transformation was going on for me, preparing myself for arranged marriage. Plus, we were too different. Initially I was very sure that I can never fall for you.

You were too cool to be handled by me. I was an emotional person.But then we started spending so much time together. Started enjoying with you so much, that I forgot everything else.

Day would start with your message about when I would be reaching office and end with dropping you to your home late night after our daily parties. Sharing past stories to each other made me more and more vulnerable towards you. We would talk for hours, about anything & everything. My social life in office, flat or with any friends started fading away, because we started enjoying each other’s company.

I was a person who used to plan every coming week, but with you I was living each day as if there was no tomorrow. I didn’t know what was happening to me. I knew from the day I started liking you that there is minimal chance of this working out (know reasons as well from first day). But still I couldn’t stop myself falling for you, losing my reality in your dreams.

You were new to Delhi, and longed for your hometown. So, I tried to make your stay in Delhi as eventful as possible. I did not want to see you dull ever here, and so I changed myself so much for that, started living as per your needs, as your ways.

Every time you mentioned about leaving Delhi, I felt abandoned, a little broken. I was being selfish here, because now seeing you every day had become a habit of mine. I tired more and more just to see you saying that you have started loving Delhi and it is the place where you are enjoying more. But I believe one and half month was too short a period to make you feel that.

And one day, I came to know that you were leaving Delhi.

On the day you were leaving, you asked me why I was so sad and behaving like an emotional fool. By that time, answer was quite simple and I believe you also knew that I have totally fallen for you. Your words pierced in my heart like a million shards of a broken glass. But you were immune to my pains, my feelings.

I knew this was almost over now, long distance relationships itself are difficult and here I was dealing with one sided love and good friendship from other side. Maybe I was always a fool. An emotional fool.

Conversation which never happened:
You – “Stop feeling so broken. I never loved you”
Me – “I know. I just like to believe, you did”

It’s been three months since you left, there is not a single day when I have not missed you. I have no qualms in saying that I have never missed anyone like this. Sadly, I can see you fading away. Your name is slipping down the whatsapp chat list and our messages are getting more and more right aligned. There are long moment of silences in between our conversations. We now talk rarely, sometime after days. And the feeling that had enveloped me for the last one and a half months is fading away.

Dreams either come true or remain just dreams. Mine are the latter. Distance was the culprit and I was an unfortunate victim.

6 comments

Nitin. this is an amazing story. I could somewhere relate to such feelings. and the fact that emotions die with time and how miserable it becomes when you fall for someone and you don’t get anything except some tattered pieces of your unsolicited feelings..! defenietly one of my most favorite till now.. 🙂