Feedback Sucks

Feedback Sucks

The sympathetic nervous system lights up in response to
negative feedback. This is the “fight or flight” system. The brain is focused only on survival when it’s
activated. “Focusing people on their shortcomings doesn’t enable learning. It impairs
it.” according to researcher, psychology and business professor Richard
Boyatzis.

A recent article by Marcus Buckingham and Ashley Goodall in Harvard
Business Review stated we rely on three theories to improve performance in
others. Each is flawed. The source of truth; that I am more aware of your
weaknesses than you are; the process of learning, is like filling up an empty
vessel; and excellent performance is describable and once defined can be
transferred to another person.

Rater error is not new. For forty years, psychometrists have
demonstrated people don’t have the objectivity to maintain a definition of an
abstract quality, like leadership and then evaluate someone on it. Our
understanding of that definition is personal and biased. Idiosyncratic rater
effect is more a reflection of the rater’s characteristics than the person
being evaluated.

Let’s make it worse by having everyone around you rate your
performance in a 360o review. A systematic error occurs since each
rater’s feedback is a distortion of the truth. The error becomes intensified
when averaging a systematic error. It’s a random error that can be reduced by
averaging.

The second flawed theory is that we think people can fill in
their weakness with information. The brain doesn’t work that way. Neuroscience
shows us we grow areas of ability. The brain grows where strong connections
exist. Learning starts by identifying strong patterns then giving those strengths
attention. Paying attention to a weakness shuts learning down. We learn when
someone pays attention to what’s working and asks us to cultivate it.

Finally, excellence and failure are different outcomes, but
they are not opposites. When things go wrong, managers must interrupt; tell the
person and what must happen to fix things. That’s it, fixing an error. It’s not
moving toward excellence. Each person’s
version of excellence is their own.

The ancient African philosophy of Ubuntu has two levels of
recognition. The first level is to value others simply for who they are. The
heart of Ubuntu is we are one human family. This comes first. The second level
is to value others for what they achieve. This kind of recognition drives
performance.

When you draw attention to a person’s strength, especially
just as it’s exhibited you offer the person a chance to recognize it for
themselves, so they can connect with it, re-create it and refine it.

When things are going well, if managers interrupt and tell
the person what they think really worked and take the time to explore it; the
person will understand what excellence feels like. It will strengthen the brain
connections which will move toward excellence.

Negative feedback is like audio feedback; it makes us cringe
and hold our ears. Telling people how their positive actions made us feel is the
truth. This truth strengthens their ability and our connection as part of the
human family.