Religion is where we find ourselves, it is where we look
deep within and determine if we are truly good. I so wish I could
be the man everyone wants me to be. I so wish I could be pure and
without sin, but life is never that simple. I am just another
imperfect impure soul. I cannot resist the urge within me. God
has left my heart and I fear he will not return.

She is everything that I fear, everything that I shy away from.
Lust is a quality every man has within him; I try to suppress
that yearning. It is not my fault that I have become enslaved to
my primitive urges that I cannot escape. Everything that I am,
everything that hope to be, is crushed by this forbidden desire
that lurks within my inner most thoughts. She is so very young,
and I am so very old. She is God's gift to man and a gift to all
who lay eyes upon her lovely lips.

I am not ashamed when I say that I want her or that I need her
for my own. I cannot control myself. She loves me. She loves me
and I love her, but I am just a priest who has promised himself
to God. I cannot be with her; I can never be beside her, for as
along as long as the church stands I must depart from her. Never
must I stray from the path of my almighty Lord. He is my lover,
not her.

She is like beauty itself. She is delicate, radiant, and
desirable. She is wanted by all men, me most of all. To be with
her is to sin, and sin I must. She waits for me by the river
bank, she waits for me to come and collect her. We fell for one
another at first glance. I was amazed that she could find me
appealing. I was nothing but, a simple, aged, priest with no home
and no family. She became my family, became all that I ever
wanted.

And now I am past the point of no return. Now I am to meet her,
take her, and run away with her. She is also lovely. Her body is
all so tender, and young, her skin ripe, and smooth. As I walk
upon the bridge I see her standing there, my love, my sin, my
salvation. She seems some what nervous as I approach her in the
twilight of the sky. She seems troubled, as I am troubled.

I take her hand, and gently squeeze it. She is so very lovely,
if only God could be the same. I see sadness in her heart; more
than I could ever bear. What could be the matter? Why is my love
so upset?

"You seem troubled today, my love. What is the matter?" I
asked, in a kind and gentle tone.

"Do you truly wish to leave the church for me? Do you truly
wish to give up everything you have been taught for me? I don't
see how you could. I am just a poor maid. God should be loved far
more then I. I don't want to sin my love. I do sin by taking you
away from your faith."

"God shall always be in my heart, but I will stray from him
to have you. You are something real. I can touch you, I can kiss
you and I can speak with you. You are God to me, my love, and
that is all I need to know."

She seemed so uncertain when receiving my words. My love had
always been a devote follower of the faith. She came to me months
ago, seeking forgiveness. I forgave in everyway a man could. I
forgave her heart, mind, and body. My love wanted so badly to be
with me, I could see it in her eyes, but I could also see another
longing, one that did not look promising.

"I could never be God to you, or an angel. I feel like a
whore just for coming here and standing before you. I feel like a
worthless, peace of meat. At least that's what my Father said
when he found out about us." She began to weep heavily.

Oh what was I to do? How could I convince my love that she is
more then what she believes? How could I truly make her mine?

"Your Father has no bearing on our relationship. You are
far more than you realize, my sweet. You are the sunlight that
shines down upon me. You are the beating of my very soul. You are
the salvation of my heart, and that is the truth. Before I knew
you, I was just a poor priest with no one to love. You came into
my life and took away the pain and for that I am most grateful.
So come with me now darling. Come with me and we shall explore
new horizons." The passion in my words did not seem to have any
effect on the emotional state of my love. She was still troubled,
still saddened and still unsettled.

"I wish we could, Oh God I wish we could, but I must face
the truth. I am a sinner and for that I must pay. I am must
except my failures. You my love, should do the same, or be cursed
for all time." With that she began to walk away from me. My love
has chosen God over the man who loves her. She has chosen to
remain and be with him, but I cannot help myself, I must be with
her in one peace! Suddenly and without thinking, I grab her by
the arm and force her into the embrace of a life time. For the
first time in my life, I feel truly at bliss, at bliss with one
love, but she managed to pull away quickly. Nothing could save
her though from the love which lurks inside my very being.

I could see it within her eyes. She wanted me, she needed me.
She needed me to save her from her lowliness. She wanted me to
take her into that truly blissful light of the moonlight sky. Her
bliss was my bliss, and bliss will always triumph!