cant even off myself right

so ive been reading a lot on the suicide wave of japan and how a lot of ppl are using <Mod Edit - Ac y - Methods>, so i decided to try it. i went to wal mart, bought the supplies, then waited until about 5am and went to my apartment complex's poolhouse since its still closed from winter. (no1 will bother me nor will the fumes affect anyone in my apartment building.) i sealed the door with ductape, <Mod Edit -Acy - Methods> then played games on my cell phone to distract myself from what was about to happen. i waited for about 20 mins, then eventually cleaned everything up and went back to my room to try and figure out what went wrong. turns out i had the right <Mod Edit - Acy - Methods>, but i used the wrong <Mod Edit - Acy - Methods>, so ill get the right kind either today or tomorrow, depending on what happens, and hopefully pull this off right. ive tried numerous suicide attempts and nothing has worked, but this will def work if i just do it right. i just have to get <Mod Edit - Acy - Methods>. im starting to get sleepy now, listening to carissa's weird and tired from staying up all night. well, that's my story.

don't do it...forget about the pesticide.....
stay and talk to people here..tell us what's happened to feel like that..
if your next attempt goes wrong goodness knows what effects it will have on your organs...
take care and stay safe..

i just feel as if nothing matters. everyone around me has stuff going for them, but i have nothing. i travel an hour to school, only to sit in the parking deck for an hour or two, then drive home. all my friends are graduating and ive barely begun.. then on top of all that i get pulled over because my friend was speeding and they find weed on us, and since my friend has had prior offenses theyre using it against us and are making us narc one of his friends out or else he goes to jail for 5 years. ive never been in trouble with the law, but the cops told us if we both dont comply then we both go to jail. i feel as if everything i do, no matter how far i get i always end up back at square one. over and over and over again. its a vicious cycle and i dont know how to break it. does anything really even matter? eventually we will die, and eventually the human race will too. i just dont see the point. the best part of my day is when im asleep, dreaming of everything that im not. if i die then i assume it will be like that.

no judge will send you down for weed unless you are carrying kilos of the stuff.

i know it must feel like a lot of presure - ive had my brushes with the law too. but they are just playing mind games with you.

as for school, take your time, youre not feeling well at the moment so you cant compare yourself to other - you are not well - that means you are sick and need to give yourself a break and not take things so serious otherwise you will have a nervous breakdown like i did.

things may and should improve over time, it just seems over whelming at the moment.

as for grassing on your mate - a big no no. you already know that and you should just relax and know you wont be sent to prison.

i had a friend be threatened with all that even the police were sticking matchsticks into his nails to get him to confess and grass. didnt work though and he was as free as a bird as nothing stuck.

no judge will send you down for weed unless you are carrying kilos of the stuff.

i know it must feel like a lot of presure - ive had my brushes with the law too. but they are just playing mind games with you.

as for school, take your time, youre not feeling well at the moment so you cant compare yourself to other - you are not well - that means you are sick and need to give yourself a break and not take things so serious otherwise you will have a nervous breakdown like i did.

things may and should improve over time, it just seems over whelming at the moment.

as for grassing on your mate - a big no no. you already know that and you should just relax and know you wont be sent to prison.

i had a friend be threatened with all that even the police were sticking matchsticks into his nails to get him to confess and grass. didnt work though and he was as free as a bird as nothing stuck.