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Thursday, April 28, 2011

I'm sorry, but I can NOT get over The Airborne Toxic Event. I mean, really we should have all seen this coming a few months ago when I felt like I needed their new album to even continue breathing and was scrambling for every possible piece of music they'd ever released and listened to their rendition of "The Book of Love" at least 4 times a day. I just can't put my finger on exactly what it is about them that has made them such a drug to me, though if I had to guess I'd say it had something to do with the thoughtful, poignant lyrics and the raw emotion in Mikel's voice as he sees them, as well as the perfect timing in which he places each word or phrase. I guess I did just put my finger on it afterall. It's not even just their new stuff that I'm hooked on. "Sometime Around Midnight" STILL makes me sigh and get a distant look of melancholic nostalgia and that's from over 2 years ago.

It's too bad that I can't move past TATE, because I've already told you about them and I actually have a lot of good things to say about some other bands right now like Noah and the Whale, A Silent Film, and Two Door Cinema Club. But every time I want to say something about music, all that comes out is how into TATE I am. I am head over heels for them. Smitten, even. It's love. In a few weeks I'll find out if they are as good live as they are on my iPod. It's been awhile since I've been this excited about a concert.

Speaking of unhealthy fixations, the Royal Wedding is tomorrow! You may be asking "Who in their right mind would get up at 3am just to watch two strangers in another country get married?" to which I reply, "THIS GIRL." I haven't been soaking up as much of the TV Specials and coverage as I'd like, but I have been keeping a keen eye out for any magazine with features on it, if for no other reason than to look at pictures of Kate Middleton. She's so pretty. And she has the best clothes. And she has so much poise. I can't decide if I want to be her or if I just wish we were best friends. Not that my best friend (also a Cate) isn't awesome, because she totally is. Plus, she let me wear a maid of honor sash for her wedding reception and Kate Middleton didn't even invite me to hers.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

I'm in over my head. It's a familiar feeling. It comes up twice a year - once at the end of November and again near the end of April. I imagine that it's different this time but that could be something I think every time. It seems that near the end of every semester I feel this sense of impending doom, like I'm never going to finish everything I need to finish at the time. And every semester I think that certainly this time is exponentially worse than the past semesters for reasons x, y, and z.

But this time I think it really is different, because I'm not really that worried about getting my tasks (a research paper, a book review, a final exam, a client overview, and a presentation) done in the next 2 weeks. I always get things done. Two weeks from today they will be done, one way or the other. This time, I'm looking at my internship and feeling like I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. Tonight after work I've got two clients back to back immediately followed by group. Tomorrow, group. Thursday, two more clients back to back after work. I love that I'm getting more involved, and I believe the work done at Solace House is meaningful and important. I worry that I am ineffective... that this is not one of those things that I will just be good at naturally - like school or telling jokes or making friends or putting together a great outfit. I can care... I can care a LOT, and I do.

Enough of the Debbie Downer. I have excellent news. You know how you discover a new artist on their first album, and you fall so head over heels in love with them that you both desire a new album from them with every fiber of your being while at the same time fearing that they will never be able to top or even meet the excellence that they brought you with their first album? Or maybe you only liked that first album because of where it met you in your life and anything they do that would be remotely similar would no longer be relevant or connected to you so the only way you can ever enjoy them again is with a sad nostalgia? And you know how sometimes when I get really excited I use run on sentences and talk really fast? The Airborne Toxic Event, with their self titled album in 2009, was that for me. I was smitten with them. I couldn't get enough of the poetic, raw, emotional lyrics. I wanted more. I wanted more like I wanted air. I discovered a few singles and live recordings (oxymoron) here and there a few months ago and it only whetted my TATE appetite. However, I thought of bands like Yellowcard, DCFC, Dashboard, and most heartbreaking of all, Brand New. All of those bands had disappointed me with their more recent endeavors. What if this love I'd found for TATE just breaks my heart like all the others did?

Then, finally, today they released their sophomore full length album. It was the moment of truth. I bought it on iTunes first thing this morning. I listened to it all the way through, and I fell in love all over again. TATE managed to grow as a band but keep the recognizable sound that drew me to them in the first place. The lyrics are as poetic as ever. All At Once, both the album and the title track, seem to be about coming to terms with how short life is and how fast it goes and how all of the sudden we find ourselves grown and wonder how we got to where we are, whether good or bad. It's something that I really relate to right now (see above Debbie Downer-ness).

So, if you respond to nothing else and in no other way, you should at least buy this album post haste.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Blog 53 = Isaiah 53
Who has believed our message and to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed? He grew up before him like a tender shoot,and like a root out of dry ground.He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men,a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows,yet we considered him stricken by God,smitten by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions,he was crushed for our iniquities;the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray,each of us has turned to his own way;and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,and as a sheep before her shearers is silent,so he did not open his mouth. By oppressiona and judgment he was taken away. And who can speak of his descendants? For he was cut off from the land of the living; for the transgression of my people he was stricken.He was assigned a grave with the wicked,and with the rich in his death,though he had done no violence,nor was any deceit in his mouth.Yet it was the Lord’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer,and though the Lord makesc his life a guilt offering,he will see his offspring and prolong his days, and the will of the Lord will prosper in his hand. After the suffering of his soul, he will see the light [of life] and be satisfied;by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many,and he will bear their iniquities. Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,and he will divide the spoils with the strong,because he poured out his life unto death,and was numbered with the transgressors.For he bore the sin of many,and made intercession for the transgressors.

Friday, April 15, 2011

It's been a rough week and I'm not just saying that in the whiny "first full week after a vacation" kind of way.

I don't mean I've had a miserable, awful week. I mean I've had a rough week. Like, physically draining. I'm proud of myself for making it through.It all started Monday (as they usually do.) I did NOT want to go to my Research Design class. I thought all day about how much I dreaded sitting for two hours in a class that is so ridiculous to me that I feel almost physical pain when enduring it. However, I had resigned myself to my fate as I left work, head down in defeat to go to class. A couple minutes into my drive, I realized that I was going the route that I take to go home or to internship, not school. It must have been some sort of survival instinct or my subconscious's last ditch effort to avoid class. However, I was strong and corrected my error. I turned around and headed back the other way, casting longing looks in my rearview mirror. THEN I got to the highway that I always take to school and the on ramp was closed. I was beginning to think the universe was trying to tell me something. So, I somehow ended up going North AGAIN instead of South to school and was right back where I had turned around initially. At this point, it took every OUNCE of will power to correct my path. All in all, it took me approximately an hour and a huge amount of effort to make the 25 minute drive to a class that I don't even like.

Tuesday was Solace House which I usually find rewarding, but an uncomfortable situation in group put me on high anxiety, which only heightened more when I returned my sister's call to find out my stepdad was in the hospital. Thankfully, it wasn't his heart (yet) but he had ruptured 2 discs in his back by trying to be a manly man and picking up a box of books that he had no business trying to pick up. With him hospitalized and my mom in Austin for her job, someone needed to stay the night with Madi. That someone was me. So, my typically late Tuesday was made even later. This continued throughout the week. Late nights. Staying not at my apartment. Early mornings. Zombie Marissa. It reached it's culmination last night when, as I was waiting for my mom to arrive from Austin (already delayed an hour because of the thundering/lightening/howling wind we were currently experiencing in KC) I got a call at 12:30 from a panicked mom, stranded on the side of the highway with a foreign cab driver and a flat tire. Unbelievable. I braved the storm to pick her up. So there we were, on the side of 435 at one in the morning in the middle of a storm. Why not? So, by the time I got her home and returned to my apartment, it was nearly 2am. I don't even know what time I finally fell asleep, I just know that I had very unchristian thoughts about the DJs on KLove as they were practically screaming in cheerfulness at me as my radio alarm went off at 5am.

So THAT's what I mean when I say I've had a rough week. Obviously, it was nowhere near as rough as my mom's week, or Terry's week, or even that poor cab driver's(who didn't seem to know how to change a tire) week. But rough, nonetheless. TGIF for reals, player.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

That's right, I'm about to blog about a few of my favorite things. I'll share the highlights of Walla Walla another time. I also have this idea for a story about going to a class I hate but I'm not sure if I can make it interesting. For today though, I've been thinking about some of the products and such in my life right now that I just really love and I wanted to share them with you, my faithful reader (yes, there's probably only one.)

. 1. Bare Minerals Makeup: Okay. I love everything about this stuff. It's light but still thorough in coverage in foundation. They have undereye bag concealer which is perfect for me because after I get home at 9pm I still have to work out, shower, and watch TV for an hour to wind down before I can go to bed. This results in much less sleep than my face would prefer. Bare Minerals helps me fool people into thinking that I'm polished and well rested. A few must use items for me: foundation, well rested undereye powder, high definition volumizing mascara, buxom lip gloss.

. . 2. Victoria's Secret Beach Sexy : I used the Daily Glow Gradual Tan last year and it worked well for me. To start myself off this year I have been using the Sunkissed Bronze Instant Self Tan Lotion with Tint. It's not streaky and it looks really natural. I'll probably switch over to the other one as I spend more real time out in the sun as it has SPF. I'm not a naturally super pale person, but my skin looks blah and kind of pasty to me at this time of year so a little self tanner is a good self esteem boost. Bonus, no risk of skin cancer.

. 3. Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred: I have been out of the workout game for a while because of my time constraints (see: bags under my eyes) but swimsuit season IS fast approaching and I am woefully underprepared. I really like this workout and have already noticed results even after doing it slightly inconsistently for only a couple of weeks. I'm picking up the pace on it for the next month because I have an upcoming opportunity to display my new swimsuit soon. The workout is only 20 minutes long but is intense and does create change. It also creates a strong animosity towards Jillian Michaels as your quads are burning and she says "Just 5 more!"

. 4. Tea: I don't have a link for this. I've just recently been drinking chai tea in the morning instead of coffee and black tea throughout the day when I need caffeine instead of coffee. I love coffee, and am not done with it forever, I just like the clean feel of tea. Plus, it has antioxidants, which are totally trendy right now. I use the Keurig one cup hot beverage maker at work and bring my own stuff in. That way I don't have to worry about being out of my favorite drink.

. 5. Tiny Wings on the iPhone: I'm not sure if this is my favorite thing or if I'm just obsessed with beating it. All I know is that I spend almost all of my mini breaks at work trying to get Herbert to "nest up" and learn to fly. You can do it, Herbert! .

. Well. That's all. Try the stuff I talked about and maybe they will send me free things, but probably not.