March 19, 2010

Ever since I put my feet into a pair of high heels and stepped on to the age of adulthood, my life took on a fresh course. As life began to take shape, I hopped into it and charged to the forefront filling my moments, days, weeks, months and years with all the things I have always wanted to do. In a strange sense it was arduous, being a woman in stilettos with a coffee mug in one hand, computer screen in the front and a book on the table. Though, I liked every single moment of it but in a manner every bit of my life was accounted for, hardly allowing me to be spontaneous!

And then unexpectedly for the past few weeks I am letting things go! Things.. that were very important to me once; things that matter in a true sense. Because for a while I wanted to just be, a free bird that did what she wanted to do exactly when she wanted to do it. In these few days I also realised that it gives you an immense kind of pleasure in not doing things that you were expected to do. In a sense, I was breaking the walls and the compartments I built in my head over the past few months. And what a feeling it is..beyond description in a lot of ways... almost an out of body experience, where you have left your physical self behind and floating free above everything that binds you! The past few months have been such a hurricane for me and I was so blissful to get what I wanted to achieve.. that I did not really stop to speculate or even breathe! But these few days have taught me to be me, just be... and I was swiftly reminded of so many precious moments, of so many people that are important aspects of my life and of course the kind of life I want to lead now. These few days jogged my memory in a way that I remembered so many things that I had pushed into the recesses of my memory. It had been a long week.. I was exhausted and rejuvenated as well and the best thing I have learnt from all of this is that it’s fine, once in a while, to give in to yourself, just to have those moments of true freedom, away from your responsibilities and the expectations of others!