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Friday, September 9, 2011

And now, a word from our sponsors...

Though my love affair with television is near and dear to my heart, I'm also a sucker for a good commercial. With as much tv as I can watch in any given bout of laziness, I demand to be entertained in between my entertainment. A commercial needs to show me it wants me to stay glued to the couch, watching its product flash before my glazed over eyes. Sometimes it can be touch and go. If I'm thinking it's snack or beer time, they better bring out the big guns. If I have to pee, it's almost a lost cause. The surest way to keep me tuned in is to make me laugh. A catchy tune can work for awhile as well, until I can't get it out of my head and begin to curse the commercial at fault (see McDonald's Gimme that Fish commercial). I also enjoy a commercial I can ridicule for my own savage amusement.

The latest victim is a Nissan commercial. Don't ask me if it was for the Sentraltima or the Titan Leaf Z Roadster Cube Sedan. That's not the point. There's a line in the commercial that throws my sarcastic switch to full power. Something to the effect of "What if your car knew who you were?". I hear this line and my brain immediately begins its own inner monologue starring the voice of the car, which is strangely, always Paul Lynde.

"Ohhhh great. Here comes the Soccer Mom of the year with her devil spawn. And the little one is eating Oreos again! Doesn't that woman understand the simple concept of chocolate cookie mashed into my fine cloth seats?" Or..."Why can't He-Man shower before he leaves the gym? That smell is never coming out of my drivers seat." And sometimes, "You know lady, the only action I see is from the view of the Burger King drive-thru. Drop the Whopper (outisde!!), throw on a little lip-stick and maybe things will change for both of us!".
Thank you to the kind people at Nissan for keeping me in tip-top, wise-ass shape.

There are other commercials that just make me giggle. M&M has a pretty decent grasp on keeping my attention. The one with the M&M's throwing snacks and other items at the guy trying to get some M&M's for his wife comes to mind. The way many Americans attack snack foods, I really can't blame the M&M's for fighting back. Also, kudos to the old M&M commercial that has Patrick Warburton (Puddy from Seinfeld) chastising the M&M's for being cannibalistic. It's twisted and absurd all in one. And if you don't think twisted and absurd makes for good tv, then you probably aren't a reality tv fan. Whole 'nother blog post.

If a commercial has a familiar song or one that I actually spend time online finding out what it is, I'm hooked. Who doesn't want to "teach the world to sing, in perfect harmony"?? Nike made me feel like I could start my own Revolution. I learned to rap from McDonald's and their "two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun" jingle. Not well, but enough to know I'm not Lil Kim, but I'd sure like a Big Mac right about now. Continuing in the teaching vein, thanks to the people at J-E-L-L-O, I know how to spell J-E-L-L-O. Comes in handy when I'm looking to buy some J-E-L-L-O for J-E-L-L-O shots. Though I will admit, some commercial jingles can lead to confusion. For a short period of time in my childhood, I firmly believed that "I'm a Pepper, You're a Pepper, He's a Pepper,She's a Pepper" was true and went around asking others "Wouldn't ya like to be a Pepper too?". Still, I was given a nice memory and 3.5 lines in this blog post reliving the memory for your reading pleasure. That's a win/win.

So next time your "can't miss tv" goes to commercial, stick around for a minute or two. You could find just the tune you need to whistle to annoy those around you or remind you what you could have for lunch that day. You might learn something. Or have a few laughs, With them or at them...your choice.

5 comments:

Nikki
said...

What about: My bologna has a first name. It's O-S-C-A-R. My bologna has a second name, it's M-A-Y-E-R. OOOOHHHHH I love to eat it everyday and if you ask me why I'llllll say: Cause Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A.

I still sing that every single time I make my kids a bologna sandwich!