42 Completely Logical Reasons to Buy Flannel-Lined Pants

Despite what seems like an ever-expanding universe of pants — stretchy, drop crotch, wide leg, pleated, skinny, spray-on, regular, slouchy, and this writer’s personal favorite: dress pants that look and act like track pants or sweats — most guys own fewer than four pairs of trousers which they keep in rotation nearly year round. So while your closet may be lined with varying weights of jackets and coats tailor-made for a precisely-timed three week slot in your style agenda, we’d bet your pants drawer is sadly not so nuanced. And as the cold dark winter of 2017 approaches, we feel some responsibility towards your chilly lower half.

What you need is a pair of chinos lined for sub-zero comfort, chinos that say “I made an effort” on the outside, but “I am wrapped in a plush blanket of warmth and relaxation” on the inside. Our Flannel-Lined Chinos and 5-Pocket Pants are still made of 100% cotton so they breathe, but these cold weather warriors also boast a 100% cotton flannel lining to keep your legs from going numb while you walk your dog or whatever. Actually, there’s an almost unlimited number of reasons you should give these pants a try. Here are 42 in no particular order:

To keep your butt warm and slightly cushioned from the inevitable fall you’ll take while ice-skating.

To give you an edge while lining up for movie tickets, concert tickets or your hype-beasty merch of choice.

Because you quit smoking but you still go out for “smoke breaks” to get away from your coworker Stan, the close talker.

Because you said yes to an ice-fishing invitation.

So your pants cuffs can say something festive.

Because you said yes to deep frying this year’s Thanksgiving turkey in your backyard, in Vermont.

Because watching people play sports mysteriously doesn’t keep you warm like playing sports does.

To save your nuts from becoming frozen nuts.

So you can look satisfyingly on as your brother-in-law freezes his nuts.

So you don’t have to stop biking to work this winter.

So you can go to work in pajamas — or at least something that feels like them.

So you can finally respond to the people asking if it’s “cold enough for you.”

To give your legs, which really are the best part of your body, the self-care they deserve.

Because you never liked long johns anyway.

To help you concentrate on what really matters: your weekly amateur drone competitions.

To save you money on cab fare.

For those long walks on the beach you said you liked on your Tinder profile.

Because you’re really committed to grilling.

For the rare days when your flannel boxer briefs are in the wash.

Because you joined a winter Quidditch club.

To help you win a bet you made about not needing the trappings of this capitalist society that involves sleeping outdoors in November.

Because you have a thing on Twitter where you live tweet what people say when leaving Taco Bell.

Because the renovated loft you live in didn’t come with a renovated heating system.

Because you never saw yourself as a zookeeper, but now that you are one, you won’t be the kind who just phones it in.

Because you love eating roasted chestnuts on a chilly day. Especially when your chestnuts are nice and toasty.