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Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Ivanhoe the Terrible

No one knows what men like more than an animated teaspoon, right? Meet Mr. T. Spoon, who seems to be a chef along the lines of the mustard-obsessed Hot Dan. You remember Hot Dan. He is frantically jolly and adds dollops of hot mustard to whatever dish he happens upon. Could be dessert, could be a sandwich. You never know with Hot Dan.

If it would help Ivanhoe, I would suggest that Hot Dan be called in to form a cartoon culinary think tank with Mr.T. Spoon. But nothing can help this stuff. No, no. And neither men nor women can approve. Seriously, Mr. T., why do you suppose that men are going to like this? Because it comes out of a jar? Because it is easy to serve and easy to throw away after? Because men like macaroni? Why?

Now, women do not like Ivanhoe Macaroni Salad, from the get go. That is because - well, it is gross. I mean, look at it.

Macaroni can only - as far as I know - be boiled. Not "deliciously cooked." And there is mayonnaise involved. And it comes in a jar. And it is "wonderful by itself." Which means it will be most wonderful if you leave it by itself in the grocery store.

And as for the Redi-Salad and the Teaspoon Onions - no, please, no. Nothing that begins with Redi ever came to any good.* And as for your little onions - please, Mr. T., keep those to yourself.

A thousand teaspoons of thanks to TJS Labs for this classic from 1947.

*I know, Reddi-Whip might be all right, sometimes. Possibly. As long as you don't go overboard like Sally (click on the link for her disturbing little story).

I'm not so concerned with the warm jar on the shelf (heck, mayo is a warm jar on a shelf), I'm more concerned what the consistency of the macaroni would be after stewing in mayo, going thru the preserving process, getting packaged, loaded and delivered. I'm sure it had the consistency of Cream of Wheat, not that there's anything wrong with that...

I want so badly to grab that spoon man and rap him against a table.___Barbarahttp://ifididnthaveasenseofhumor.blogspot.com

Dunno about the rest of you, but it's the lower part of the handle on rapper T-Spoon that has my eyebrows doing the tango... a bit disturbing, non? I mean, it's so large it's given him bow-legs! Somebody ought to turn him on to those aluminum leg braces and active support undies!

About Kitsch and Retro

Welcome! I'm Lidian and this is Kitsch and Retro...I love vintage ads, retro homemaking, and domestic history - from the Victorian era to the 1970s. I hope you will enjoy your visit as much as I enjoy writing this blog - and that you find it as full of quirky fun stuff as a 1950s molded salad - minus the celery, because ugh, celery.