Friday, June 10, 2005

Singh and Musharaff behind closed doors

What happens at these high profile meetings, when leaders of state meet each other? This is one of current politics' best guarded secrets. These leaked out minutes of a conversation between the Indian Premier, Dr. Manmohan Singh and the Pakistani Premier, Mr Pervez Musharaff go a long way in making us comprehend what goes on behind closed doors. Before you can indulge in these spicy minutes, may we remind you of our Sponsors?

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The Hon Prez. Musharaff walked in when the Hon. Prime minister was applying his last puff of powder and seated himself in a chair drawn out especially for him. The Hon. Prime Minister Singh, taking note of this, hurried up and sat facing the Hon President. The Hon. President then called for some water, which his intellegence agents checked for poison. The Hon. Prime minister. too, ordered water which was also checked for poison by Indian intellegence agents. The agents looked at their counterparts and winked.

The Hon Prime minister then stated that Sania Mirza was an upcoming talent and that he hoped she would do well in the Delhi Cricket Match. The President, visibly shocked, informed the Prime minister that though he was, in principle, not an opponent of Sania Mirza, he had not come all the way from Pakistan to see a Women's cricket match. The Hon Prime minister apologized (though he looked as if he thought the Prez. sexist) and asked the president (trying to change the subject) what a leg bye was. The Hon President talked of a brave soldier by the name of Salim who had lost a leg in Kargil. While walking up the slope, he had encountered a leg-break - and was forced to bid a good-bye to his leg, therefore a leg bye. The prime minister, never one to miss an oppotunity (after all, he was the leader of the opposition for a very long time), drew a conclusion that the Prez. agreed to there being Pakistani troops at Kargil. The Prez. retaliated by saying that the soldier was probably vacationing in Kargil.

Then, as is inevitable, the conversation turned towards Kashmir. The Prime minister said something about the standard of living of the people of Kashmir. The President then said that Kashmir was a very nice place to vacation. He had even wanted to build a house there once - but unfortunately, there were some local goondas - the mujahidoon or something - who kept coming to his house and claiming that Kashmir was disputed territory. The prime minister said that the same thing happened to him in Sikkim - but the people were called the Wang. The Prez. then said that Islamabad could get very hot in summer and he needed a summer retreat. The Prime Minster said that Delhi would not be freezing either. They both agreed a better climate - like that of Kashmir was needed to help them serve the people better. The Prime minster invited the President over for a cup of tea in Srinagar - and the President invited the prime minister for tea in Muzaffarabad. They both, suddenly remembered that they had engagements (trips abroad) and decided to send some other lesser leaders over instead. Since there was no transport on either side, they decided to send buses across the border every once in a while.

All that settled, they decided to talk about terrorism. They talked about all the movies they had seen recently - and settled on the Ring, which had by then, been transalated into Hindi and Urdu. They were unanimous and decided try to ban such 'terror' movies from America. They did not appreciate cross border terrorism.

And fianally, the got up and had lunch. They were both relieved that their secretaries were talking too. Politicians can't take care of everything, you know.