This is redditor Nocturnal_Nick's friend of a friend's birthday cake. Based on my powers of deductive reasoning, I'm going to say the birthday boy's name is Kevin, and he just turned 16. "Dammit GW, could you be any stupider?" Only if I was my roommate. This morning he woke up screaming bloody murder because he forgot he was wearing an eye mask and thought he'd gone blind. Plus I was stabbing him.

Thanks to ChaosLex, who agrees how complex your birthday cake is a great meter for how much your friends actually like you.