-When I was young, I ran with the "wrong crowd" and murdered my parents. I was adjudicated a deliquent and my record was expunged.

-Later, when I was 15, I sold 5 kilograms of cocaine to half my school and they all died, but I was never arrested because the police did not find out.

-When 17, I became fascinated with putting peanut butter on my testicles and getting my cat to lick it off

-At 19 I realized that I suck at life and tried to blow my head off, missed, and only severed my right ear. I was briefly committed to a mental health facility.

-Since my attempted suicide, I have not been in any trouble for 13 months.

-I am in the hiring process and the polygraph examiner said that he "had some concerns"

Should I be worried about what he said? What did he mean by "had concerns"?

As mentioned I have terrible aim, if hired can they fire me if I can't shoot straight?

No , sorry you can't be a cop............................you have way too much experience behind you to be a cop.

I would suggest that you do one of two things rather than waste your time being a cop

#1 I understand that BOTH New York City and Chicago are looking for Police Commissioners-----with your credentials you would be a shoo in compared to their last incumbants

#2 The FBI Director will be soon replaced. Once again a shoo in. If you don't get that job it is automatic that you are placed as a FBI agent.........and once again you are an excellent candidate for Special Agent in Charge

No , sorry you can't be a cop............................you have way too much experience behind you to be a cop.

I would suggest that you do one of two things rather than waste your time being a cop

#1 I understand that BOTH New York City and Chicago are looking for Police Commissioners-----with your credentials you would be a shoo in compared to their last incumbants

#2 The FBI Director will be soon replaced. Once again a shoo in. If you don't get that job it is automatic that you are placed as a FBI agent.........and once again you are an excellent candidate for Special Agent in Charge

-When I was young, I ran with the "wrong crowd" and murdered my parents. I was adjudicated a deliquent and my record was expunged.

Since delinquency is a usually a civil status versus a crime per se, you should be ok.

Originally Posted by TheTick

-Later, when I was 15, I sold 5 kilograms of cocaine to half my school and they all died, but I was never arrested because the police did not find out.

Technically you should disclose this under the category of “have you committed any serious undetected crimes”, but you appear genuinely remorseful, so I would skip it.

Originally Posted by TheTick

-When 17, I became fascinated with putting peanut butter on my testicles and getting my cat to lick it off

This is abhorrent behavior that portends of a serious defect in your personality. That said, if you have identified the underlying issue and have since moved past it, you should be fine.

Originally Posted by TheTick

-At 19 I realized that I suck at life and tried to blow my head off, missed, and only severed my right ear. I was briefly committed to a mental health facility.

Question 1: Do you have full searing in the ear?

Question 2: Were you committed involuntarily? If so, this “may” pose a potential issue.

Originally Posted by TheTick

-Since my attempted suicide, I have not been in any trouble for 13 months.

13 months clean and free of trouble is a start in the right direction. By the time that fifteenth month comes around you should be set.

Originally Posted by TheTick

-I am in the hiring process and the polygraph examiner said that he "had some concerns"

Should I be worried about what he said? What did he mean by "had concerns"?

This is a common trick they use for weak minded folks. Nothing in your past should pose a serious impediment to a long and successful career in law enforcement. Don’t worry yourself.

Originally Posted by TheTick

As mentioned I have terrible aim, if hired can they fire me if I can't shoot straight?

Absolutely not. Some of the worst shots are leading some of the best agencies in the US today. And drop that phrase “if they hire me” from your vocabulary. They will hire you and you WILL do well. So well in fact, I am almost ready to call you Chief.

Hang in there, I bet the hire letter is being typed up as you read this.

It has long been the tradition on this forum and as well as professionally not to second guess or Monday morning QB the officer's who were actually on-scene and had to make the decision. That being said, I don't think that your discussion will go very far on this board.

Since its been a few weeks since you posted, can you update us on your process. I assume you got hired and are already in the academy. That is if they even made you go vice just issuing you the badge and gun outright.

It has long been the tradition on this forum and as well as professionally not to second guess or Monday morning QB the officer's who were actually on-scene and had to make the decision. That being said, I don't think that your discussion will go very far on this board.

Unfortunately you do not possess the credentials for a police officer, but you do possess the characteristics of a city mayor or a United States president. I'd vote for you! Lol! Good luck future LEO lol

Since its been a few weeks since you posted, can you update us on your process. I assume you got hired and are already in the academy. That is if they even made you go vice just issuing you the badge and gun outright.

Seems that I may have hit a snag... they found out I got a speeding ticket.