Day: April 26, 2012

Talking abou the life and death of Sgt. Dean Shaffer, who was killed last week in Afghanistan when his Black Hawk helicopter crashed.

Dean Shaffer

Today, I wrote a story about Sgt. Dean Shaffer, a 23-year-old man, who graduated from Pekin High in 2007, joined the Army and loved classic rock such as Aerosmith, Led Zeppelin and others. Not a huge animal lover, he had warmed up to a little kitten owned by his mother the last time he was in town over Christmas, and he cared enough about his friends to help them out financially if they needed it.

So why a blog post when I did a story for today? Because I felt the story didn’t do him justice and really, there is no way news story could ever do a person justice. Really, how do you capture a person’s essence and life in a single story? I wanted to talk about what it is like to describe a person in 600 words or less. Really 500 words is what we are supposed to file our stories but Dean was interesting and well, I couldn’t get all that I wanted in so I added a few lines. That's about two doubled-spaced typed pages. Not much room to describe a person who was 23, had friends, romances, family, and a career.

I have written about more than two dozen soldiers, airmen, sailors and Marines who have made the ultimate sacrifice since the war began. I have been a guest in as many Gold Star homes, talking to wives, mothers, fathers, sisters, cousins, girlfriends and friends. I have seen the picture that many of us have; the ones of the man in question (and they have all been men) learning to walk, going to prom, out with his friends, tapping a keg or being confirmed. I listened as the person I am interviewing, whoever it was, pours out their heart, telling me all the important things about their son, nephew, cousin, boyfriend, husband or dad.

I admit, I get choked up sometimes. I have kids. I have parents. I have a spouse. I can't imagine and often tell the person I don't ever want to know. It's a statement they look at me, and smile grimly as if to say, "I wish I could trade places.” But you can’t and I am always amazed at the courage displayed by the families. I am truly honored when a person allows me into their home and trusts me to capture who their son or husband was.

Yesterday, I was at the home of Dean's mother. A wonderful lady who has more courage and strength than I think I could have in a similar position. We talked for more than an hour about Dean. We laughed at a few stories that really aren't safe for publication. (Trust me, they are quite funny. Dean was a fun-loving guy). And she was bursting with pride when talking about her son’s decision to join the service and his reasons. He was very pragmatic, level-headed and had a goal after the service. And then she got teary-eyed thinking about what wouldn't be. That lasted only an instant as she steeled herself and resolved to go on because that is what Dean would have wanted.

I walked away from that interview and talked to a colleague who was there taking pictures. Unfortunately, we have both done this a lot and know what to expect. Yet, he and I both were amazed at the full life led by this young man and the challenge to condense it. What do you leave out? Put in? What's safe for publication and what's too private that even though the mother told us, we should know better than to put it? I confess, I don't know, and every time I write these, it's agonizing. I stress over these stories and put myself in the parent's shoes and wonder, what would I want to see in the paper if I was reading a story about me or a loved one.

Again, why are this here, and why the blog post that is mostly rambling? Because I think that people need to understand that there is no way to capture a life in such a short space. Heck, this post is probably longer than the story. And for that reason, I hope that all who read this post or even the story will take some time to think about Dean and their life. Just appreciate what you have and try to focus on the positive. It’s hard in this day and age, but we have to.

I wish the family of Dean Shaffer and al his friends my heartfelt condolences. I didn't know him but I wish I did. I wish I could have heard his laugh and see him crack jokes. And that's a shame, so many of us will never get a chance to meet him and others like him.