Throughout his career, Punk has consistently used the gimmick of being straight edge, a lifestyle he follows in real life.[4] Depending on Punk's alignment as a crowd favorite or villain, he emphasizes different aspects of the culture to encourage the desired audience reaction.[4]

Professional wrestling career

Early career

Punk's first venture into wrestling was a stint in a backyard wrestling federation called the Lunatic Wrestling Federation with his friends and brother Mike Brooks in the mid-late 1990s. He first started using the ring name CM Punk when he was put into a tag team named the Chick Magnets with CM Venom after another performer skipped out on the card.[4][9][10] Unlike his friends, Punk genuinely wanted to be a wrestler and saw it as more than simple fun.[4] When the promotion started taking off, doing spot shows out of a warehouse in Mokena, Illinois, Punk found out that his brother Mike had embezzled thousands of dollars from the small company, causing them to become estranged. Mike has not wrestled since.[11]

He soon left the federation and enrolled as a student at the "Steel Dominion" wrestling school in Chicago, where he was trained by Ace Steel,[3] Danny Dominion and Kevin Quinn to become a professional wrestler. As part of the training, he wrestled at Steel Domain Wrestling in St. Paul, Minnesota.[4][5] It was in the Steel Domain that he met Scott Colton,[12][13] who soon adopted the stage name Colt Cabana. Punk and Cabana became best friends and spent most of their early career together working in the same independent circuit promotions, as opponents or allies.[12] In the independents, Punk, along with fellow Steel Domain graduates Colt Cabana, Chuckee Smooth, Adam Pearce and manager Dave Prazak, formed an alliance named the Gold Bond Mafia.[4]

Punk's matches with Cabana led him to being hired by the Ring of Honor promotion.[5] From February 2003 until May 2004, Punk refused to wrestle for IWA:Mid-South, because he claims that this was in protest to Ian Rotten's mistreatment of Chris Hero in the company.[4] Hero, however, has stated he believes there were other reasons, and Rotten's treatment of him was just an excuse by Punk to stop working for the company.[14] Eventually Punk returned to IWA:Mid-South and continued to perform as a wrestler and commentator for them until 2005 when he was signed to World Wrestling Entertainment. His last appearance in IWA:Mid-South was on July 2, 2005 in which he competed in a 60-minute time limit draw against Delirious.[15]

Shortly before a TNA show on February 25, 2004, Punk had a physical scuffle with Teddy Hart outside of a restaurant that was broken up by Sabu. The scuffle reportedly stemmed from an ROH show in which Hart performed three unplanned spots putting several other wrestlers in danger of injury.[20][21] Around the time of the scuffle, Punk and Dinero stopped appearing on TNA shows, leading to speculation he was fired for the incident.[22] Punk, however, has stated that the scuffle had no bearing on his TNA career.[22] He said the reason he and Dinero stopped appearing on TNA pay-per-views was that TNA officials believed that he and Dinero had not connected with the fans as villains, having recently turned against the popular Raven and instead formed a villainous tag team managed by James Mitchell.[22] The officials decided that as the teams as villains was not working decided to put the storyline on hold indefinitely, and thus had no work for Punk or Dinero.[22] Punk officially quit TNA in March 2004 during the Rob Feinstein controversy, after having a dispute with the TNA offices over his ability to compete in ROH following a TNA order that their contracted wrestlers were to no longer wrestle in ROH.[23]

In ROH, Punk faced off against ROH World ChampionSamoa Joe for the championship in a three match series. The first match, on June 12, 2004 at World Title Classic in Dayton, Ohio, resulted in a 60-minute time limit draw when neither Punk nor Joe could pin or cause the other to submit in the 60 minutes. The second match between Punk and Joe was planned for December 4, 2004; however, due to Steve Corino being pulled from a match with Joe by Pro Wrestling ZERO-ONE, the second match was hastily rescheduled on October 11, 2004 for October 16 in Punk's hometown of Chicago.[13] At Joe vs. Punk II on October 16, they wrestled to a second 60-minute draw.[16] In addition to Joe vs. Punk II becoming Ring of Honor's best-selling DVD at the time, the match received a five-star rating by Dave Meltzer's Wrestling Observer Newsletter. It was the first match in North America to receive a five-star rating in seven years—the last one being the Hell in a Cell match between Shawn Michaels and The Undertaker at Badd Blood: In Your House in 1997.[13] Joe ended the series by defeating Punk in the third and final match on December 4, 2004 at All-Star Extravaganza 2 in which there was a no time limit stipulation.[16]

In June 2005, Punk accepted a deal with World Wrestling Entertainment, after a try-out match against Val Venis on its Sunday Night Heat show. Even though he had accepted the deal, Punk went on to defeat Austin Aries with his Pepsi Plunge move, winning the ROH World Championship on June 18, 2005 at Death Before Dishonor III.[17] Immediately after the match, Punk proceeded to become a villain and started a storyline where he threatened to bring the ROH World Championship to WWE with him. For weeks, Punk teased the ROH locker room and the ROH fans as well as mocking the championship he possessed, going so far as to sign his WWE contract on it. During the storyline, Mick Foley made several ROH appearances, attempting to convince Punk to do the right thing and defend the title on his way out. On August 12, 2005 in Dayton, Ohio, Punk lost the ROH World Championship to James Gibson in a four corner elimination match consisting of himself, Gibson, Samoa Joe and Christopher Daniels, who re-debuted after a year-and-half absence.[17] Punk's final scheduled match in Ring of Honor took place at Punk: The Final Chapter on August 13, 2005 against long-time friend Colt Cabana in a two out of three falls match, which he lost.[16] In his last match, Punk was visibly crying and was showered with streamers when he posed in the middle of the ring.

Punk made a special appearance at the ROH show Unscripted II on February 11, 2006, when the original card had to be scrapped due to Low Ki leaving ROH the week prior.[16] In addition, most of the ROH roster contracted to TNA were pulled from the show because of a snowstorm that TNA officials thought might prevent performers from reaching a pay-per-view scheduled the next day.[24][25] In the main event, Punk teamed with Bryan Danielson to wrestle and ultimately defeat Jimmy Rave and Adam Pearce in a tag team match.[25]

World Wrestling Entertainment

Ohio Valley Wrestling (2005–2006)

In 2005, Punk was assigned to Ohio Valley Wrestling (OVW), a WWE developmental territory. On September 26, 2005 in his OVW television debut, Punk suffered a ruptured eardrum and broken nose after Danny Inferno hit him with an overlystiffright hand. Despite the injury, Punk finished the match and quickly recovered.[26][27]

On November 9, 2005, Punk became the OVW Television Champion after defeating Ken Doane,[26] which immediately led to a feud between Punk and Brent Albright, who had previously been feuding with Doane for the Television Championship and had lost his chance to wrestle Doane after Punk hit him with a chair so he himself could wrestle Doane. They wrestled in series of matches, including one that ended in overtime with Albright having Punk submit to Albright's finisher, the Crowbar, but Punk was able to keep the championship, as he had not agreed to the extra time.[26] On January 4, 2006, Punk lost the OVW Television Championship during a three way dance among himself, Albright and Doane. Doane was injured halfway through the match and was replaced by Aaron "The Idol" Stevens. Punk submitted to Albright's Crowbar and was eliminated, but he returned later in the match to distract Albright allowing Stevens to pin Albright and become the new OVW Television Champion.[28] The feud continued after a short period in which Albright and Punk were a tag team, but they became opponents again after Albright wanted the respect of Punk, who would never give it to him, and instead proceeded to "punk out" (get the better of) Albright repeatedly. This feud continued for weeks with Punk always getting the better of Albright until a double turn occurred on February 1, 2006 when Albright became a villain during a tag match, allowing the Spirit Squad to beat Punk and, in doing so, making Punk a crowd favorite.[28] During this time, Punk had a minor appearance at WrestleMania 22 on April 2, 2006 as one of the gangsters who rode a 1930s era car to the ring before John Cena's entrance.[29]

On July 28, 2006, Punk and Seth Skyfire defeated Shad Gaspard and the Neighborhoodie to win the OVW Southern Tag Team Championship at a house show.[31] They lost the Tag Team Championship on August 2, 2006 to Deuce Shade and "Domino" Cliff Compton after an injured Skyfire tagged in an already injured Punk.[28] This altercation led to a feud between Punk and Skyfire after a rematch for the Tag Team Championship on August 7, 2006 in which a healthy Punk purposefully tagged in an injured Skyfire to be beaten by Shade and Compton.[28] On August 30, 2006, a match was scheduled to take place between Punk and Skyfire for the OVW Heavyweight Championship. Prior to the match, however, Skyfire was attacked by Charles "The Hammer" Evans, with whom Skyfire had also been feuding, and was replaced in the match by Chet Jablonski (Chet the Jet) who pinned Punk to win the OVW Heavyweight Championship.[28] As Punk no longer possessed the championship, OVW no longer required him. He was removed from the roster and brought up to the WWE roster full-time. He continued to make sporadic appearances for the company, such as at the 400th episode of OVW on television,[28] up until WWE announced it was ending its developmental territory agreement with OVW on February 7, 2008.[32]

On the April 10, 2007 edition of ECW on Sci Fi, Punk briefly became a villain by officially joining the New Breed alliance,[49] after several weeks in which both the New Breed and the ECW Originals had attempted to recruit him.[50][51] Two weeks later, however, Punk betrayed the New Breed during a four on four elimination match between the New Breed and ECW Originals by kicking New Breed leader Elijah Burke in the back of the head and costing them the match. After the match, Punk proceeded to deliver his finisher, the Go To Sleep, on Burke and sarcastically apologized before leaving the ring alone, becoming a fan favorite again. WWE.com later confirmed that Punk was no longer a member of the New Breed.[52] At Judgment Day, Punk wrestled and defeated Burke in his first singles match on a pay-per-view.[53] Punk then went on to One Night Stand and teamed up with Tommy Dreamer and The Sandman in a tables match to defeat the New Breed.[54]

Because of the drafting of ECW World Champion Bobby Lashley to Raw, the ECW World Championship was declared vacant, and a mini-tournament was announced to declare a new champion among Punk, Elijah Burke, Marcus Cor Von and the recently drafted Chris Benoit. Punk defeated Marcus Cor Von on the June 19, 2007 edition of ECW on Sci Fi. By doing so, CM Punk was meant to face Chris Benoit at Vengeance: Night of Champions for the vacant ECW World Championship.[55] Benoit, however, was hastily replaced by Johnny Nitro when Benoit no-showed the event due to what was described on-air as "personal reasons". Nitro subsequently defeated Punk at Vengeance for the vacant championship.[56] Punk won another shot at the title at The Great American Bash against Nitro, who had changed his moniker to John Morrison by this point; however, Punk was defeated again by Morrison.[57] The next week, Punk challenged Elijah Burke and Tommy Dreamer in a triple threat match to determine the next competitor in Morrison's 15 Minutes of Fame Challenge, in which Punk came out victorious.[58] A week later, Punk defeated Morrison with the Go To Sleep to earn an ECW Championship title match at SummerSlam. At SummerSlam, however, Punk lost the match when Morrison used the ropes for leverage.[59]

At the September 1, 2007 (aired September 4) ECW taping, in a "last chance" title match, Punk defeated Morrison for the ECW Championship.[60] Punk then went on to have successful title defenses against the likes of Elijah Burke (at Unforgiven),[61] Big Daddy V via disqualification (at No Mercy)[62] and The Miz (at Cyber Sunday).[63] On the November 6, 2007 edition of ECW, Punk retained the ECW Championship in a match against Morrison following The Miz's interference.[64] At Survivor Series, Punk retained his title in a Triple Threat match, beating The Miz and John Morrison.[65] On the January 22, 2008 edition of ECW, Chavo Guerrero defeated CM Punk in a No Disqualification match to win the ECW Championship after Edge, (acting as a guest commentator at ringside) ran in and speared Punk.[66]

SmackDown and Heel Turn (2009-present)

Punk against Triple H at Royal Rumble.

On April 13, 2009 during the 2009 WWE Draft, Punk was drafted from Raw to SmackDown.[84] In the period after the draft, Punk feuded with Umaga over Umaga's repeated surprise attacks while Punk was attempting to cash in his Money in the Bank Contract. This ultimately resulted in a Samoan strap match at Extreme Rules which was won by Punk.[85]

At the end of the pay-per-view, Punk cashed in the Money in the Bank briefcase and defeated Jeff Hardy, whom had won the championship only one minute earlier from Edge, to win the World Heavyweight Championship for a second time.[86] Punk retained his title in a Triple Threat match against both Edge and Hardy eight days later on the June 15 episode of Raw.[87] At The Bash in Sacramento, California, Punk lost to Hardy by disqualification after kicking the referee after being afflicted with a storyline eye injury, claiming he could not see the referee, but because titles do not change hands on a disqualification, Punk retained the championship. Hardy called Punk into question about his eye injury, believing he had been feigning it, leading Punk to turn heel, claiming to be the moral superior of those who support Hardy due to his drug-free lifestyle.[88] At Night of Champions, Punk lost the championship to Hardy.[89] Their feud continued through SummerSlam, where Punk regained the title in a Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match; afterward, Punk was attacked by The Undertaker.[90] On the August 28 edition of Friday Night SmackDown, Punk concluded his program with Hardy and achieved his booked goal of excising him from the WWE, defeating Hardy in a steel cage match wherein the loser agreed to leave the company.[91] This act would earn Punk a second Slammy that December as he was named winner for 2009's "Shocker of the Year".[92]

His character took on a more sinister dimension on the November 27 episode of SmackDown when he revealed that he had converted Luke Gallows, who had previously been portrayed as mentally retarded, to the straight-edge lifestyle which had rid him of his mental troubles.[95] Continuing to espouse his straight-edge philosophy, Punk began to present himself as a cult-like savior to the crowd, growing his hair and beard long in an allusion to Jesus.[96] Through January 2010 Punk began to convert planted members of the audience to a straight-edge lifestyle, making them take a pledge of allegiance to him and shaving their head as a sign of renewal and devotion.[97][98][99] The third convert, Serena, from thereafter accompanied Punk and ran interference in his matches, acting with Gallows as Punk's Straight Edge Society.[100]

On the February 16 episode of ECW, it was announced that CM Punk would appear on WWE NXT, partnering with Darren Young. On the premiere of NXT on February 23, CM Punk said in an interview that he didn't know why he was on NXT mentoring the "South Beach Party Boy".

Gimmick

Punk has adopted his real-life following of the straight edge movement as his professional wrestling gimmick, but the gimmick uses different elements of Punk's personality and the beliefs of the straight edge movement depending on his alignment. While portraying a crowd favorite, the gimmick tends to be that of Punk's normal personality,[4] largely indifferent to others who drink alcohol, smoketobacco, partake in recreational drug use or have promiscuoussexual behavior, but emphasizing the social discipline involved with abstinence. Conversely, his villainous personality tends to be that of one who is hardline or militant straight edge, exemplifying the elitist attitudes and superiority complexes—defined by Punk's common mantra during villainous-themed promos that, because he is straight edge, he is "better than you".[4] Punk performs the straight edge symbol of crossing his arms in an X formation while having the letter X written on the back of his hands, usually drawn on his wrist tape.

An integral part of Punk's gimmick are the numerous tattoos that adorn his body, some of which have come to become symbols associated with Punk, as well as mantras and declarations that have been integrated into his gimmick. The tattoos as a whole, due to their large quantity and variety, have also become an attribute identifiable to Punk.[105] The most important of the individual tattoos in Punk's character, whether through association, symbol, or mantra, are:

CM Punk at a Raw taping. Prominently visible are the Pepsi Globetattoo on his left shoulder, the "luck is for losers" sleeve tattoo on his left arm, and the "straight edge" tattoo across his stomach.

A Pepsi Globe logo on his left shoulder that inspired the names of two of his signature moves. It also became a symbol of Punk himself, who wore the logo on his ring gear in the independent circuit, as well as a slightly modified Pepsi logo being used as part of his TitanTron entrance video.[106] He got the tattoo as a joke, as many fraternity members in his school were getting beer logos tattooed on their bodies. Punk, a keen Pepsi drinker, chose to receive a Pepsi tattoo to emphasize his straight edge beliefs.[5] The tattoo is also a reference to former Minor Threat guitarist Brian Baker, who had a Coca-Cola tattoo and explained this by saying "I like Coca-Cola". When people inquire about Punk's Pepsi tattoo, he often replies "I like Pepsi" in a similar fashion.[4]

The words "Straight Edge" are spelled out on Punk's stomach. This is one of his oldest tattoos;[105] he has referred to it as his identity.[107]

A tattoo on his knuckles are the words "DRUG FREE" ("DRUG" on his right knuckles and "FREE" on his left).

Punk's character and gimmick have been parodied by the wrestling federation Chikara with the mascot character CP Munk, the straight edge chipmunk. The character includes references to Punk, such as X-marked wrist tape, a Pepsi logo on the costume's left shoulder, and a high-pitch version of Punk's best-known independent circuit theme song "Miseria Cantare - The Beginning", by the band AFI.[111] On his website, Punk has said about the character CP Munk, and the people behind it:

“

I'm split 50/50 on it. Some days I get real pissed about it, because it's disrespectful. I'm sure it's no secret that the dorks that run Chikara and I don't get along, so they're [sic] judgement on trying to "mock" me is a little off. Most other days I just laugh it off because nobody from Chikara will ever be over enough anywhere for anybody else to parody them.[112]

”

Personal life

Phil Brooks was born in Chicago, Illinois and was raised by his mother and father with two younger sisters and a brother named Mike.[13] Mike was also a professional wrestler under the ring name Mike Broox;[9][103] however, Phil and Mike had a falling out after Mike embezzled several thousand dollars from the Lunatic Wrestling Federation.[113] Brooks first wished to pursue a career in professional wrestling after watching Roddy Piper crack a coconut over Jimmy Snuka's head during a July 17, 1984 edition of Piper's Pit.[4][12]

While watching his father, who was a long-time alcoholic but eventually quit,[4][10][105] and reading that alcoholism may be hereditary, Brooks made a commitment to abstain from alcohol consumption to prevent the possibility from it ever occurring in his life.[4] When Brooks attended Lockport Township High School in Lockport, Illinois, Brooks discovered the hardcore punk music genre, most importantly the band Minor Threat, who inspired the straight edge movement. After learning of the culture and its ideals and realizing it matched his own, he declared himself to be straight edge and started endorsing the philosophies of the movement.

After high school, Brooks moved out of the family house and lived for a time with fellow professional wrestler Cathy Corino.[4] He later moved into an apartment with his trainer Chris Guy.[13] Brooks worked other jobs to support himself during his early wrestling career, the last of which was as a laboratory technician for Underwriters Laboratories until he was fired due to poor conduct and work ethic in October 2002.[4]

Jackie Chan[6][15] (While sitting in a corner Punk grasps the top rope with one hand on each side of the turnbuckle and when the opponent attempts to pull Punk off the ropes by his legs, Punk performs a back tuck, landing on his feet)

From Wikiquote

Phil Brooks (born 1978-10-26), better known by his ring
name, CM Punk, is an American professional
wrestler. His Straight edge gimmick reflects his lifestyle that he
lives, taken to another level in the ring. As CM Punk says to his
opponents, "Straight Edge means I'm drug-free, alcohol-free,
and better than you!"

"Before you cut me off, the reason I hate you, the reason in my
heart of hearts why I hate you, is I didn’t know any better when I
was a little kid. When my dad came home smelling like beer. I
thought it was a hard day’s work he was doing. I didn’t realize he
was out at a bar. I didn’t realize ‘work’ meant ‘unemployment
office.’ I didn’t think it was strange for someone to come home and
take an Old Style up into the shower. I didn’t think it was strange
for somebody to pass out. I thought an Old Style, a pack a day, was
the norm. Raven, my father is exactly like you. Since day one of
Ring of Honor, where fighting spirit is supposed to be revered,
things aren’t supposed to be this way! I’d shake your hand like a
normal man, but the thing is, I don’t respect you! I hate you! I
hate you for everything you’ve pissed away! Everything I’ve
scrapped and clawed for that I haven’t even earned yet! That you
got handed to you and you flushed down the toilet! For what? For
pills? For booze? For alcohol? For women? I’m born of your poison
society. So, on the seventeenth of July, I will become a monster to
fight the monsters of the world! Your time in Ring of Honor will be
done. That is a promise. This is true! This is real! This is
straight edge!"

"Isn't this the prettiest little thing you've ever seen? It was
over a year ago I held this belt high in the air after I fought for
it for the first time in Dayton, Ohio against Samoa Joe and I
proclaimed this belt the most important thing to me. Right now, in
my hands, as of this day 6/18/05, THIS becomes the most important
belt in the world! This belt in the hands of any other man is just
a belt, but in my hands it becomes power. Just like this microphone
in the hands of any of the boys in the back is just a microphone,
but in the hands of a dangerous man like myself it becomes a
pipe-bomb. These words that I speak spoken but anybody else are
just words strung loosely together to form sentences. What I say I
mean, and what I mean I say, and they become anthems! You see, if I
could be afforded the time here a little bit of a story. There was
once an old man, walking home from work. He was walking in the
snow, and he stumbled upon a snake frozen in the ice. He took that
snake, and he brought it home, and he took care of it, and he
thawed it out, and he nursed it back to health. And as soon as that
snake was well enough, it bit the old man. And as the old man lay
there dying he asked the snake, 'Why? I took care of you. I loved
you. I saved your life.' And that snake looked that man right in
the eye and said, 'You stupid old man. I'm a snake.' The greatest
thing the devil ever did was make you people believe he didn't
exist...and you're looking at him right now! I AM THE DEVIL
HIMSELF! And all of you stupid, mindless people fell for it! You
all believed in the same make-believe superhero that the legendary
Ricky 'The Dragon' Steamboat saw some year ago today. No, you see,
you don't know anything. You followed me hook-line and sinker, all
of you did, and I'm not mad at you...I just feel sorry for you.
This belongs to me! Everything you see here belongs to me, and I
did what I had to do to get my hands on this. Now I am the GREATEST
PRO WRESTLER walkin' the Earth today! This is my stage, this is my
theater, you are my puppets! When I pulled those marionette
strings, and I moved your emotions, and I played with them, and
honestly it's 'cause I get off on it. I hate each and every single
one of you with a thousand burns and I will not stop...I will not
stop until I prove that I am better than you, that I am better than
Low Ki, that I am better than AJ Styles! I'm better than Samoa Joe.
Ladies and gentlemen, the champ is here! You don't have to love it,
but you better learn to accept it. 'Cause I'm taking this with me,
and there's not a single person in that locker room that can stop
me!"

This promo took place directly after Punk defeated Austin Aries for the ROH World Championship
proceeding to turn the,
at the time face,
Punk heel.
Directly after this promo Christopher Daniels
made his first appearance in ROH in over a year to challenge for
the belt. This promo also made reference to an old parable about an
animal doing an act of violence to another creature that is
venomous and being surprised when the animal injects the venom to
the creature after the act of kindness who then proceeds to explain
it is their nature to perform the act.

"People like to come up to me and tell me that I've got nice
ink. Except these tattoos aren't just decorations. They are
declarations. Every tattoo I have tells its own story about who I
am. Drug-free. Honor. And a war against the system. See I'm not
some punk kid looking for the next thrill. I'm a highly disciplined
athelete, craving to compete with the very best. My obsession is
competiton and my addiction is wrestling. My name, is C...M...
Punk."

"You know, there's one other thing I don't do, Vince. I don't
have dirty, unprotected sex with some money grubbing skank who
eventually files a paternity suit against me, which gets me kicked
out of my own house and leaves me nothing but a living, breathing
national disgrace."

"The only thing I took advantage of at Extreme Rules was an
opportunity to cash in my Money in the Bank contract, which I did
successfully, well within the rules. You know, Jeff knows this, you
know this, the fans know this: nowhere on that contract does it
say, under any circumstances, 'Do not cash in on Jeff Hardy.'"

Answering Josh Mathews' question addressing fan perception that
he took advantage of a vulnerable Jeff Hardy and stole the World
Heavyweight Championship at Extreme Rules. June 19, 2009.

"Just… say… no."

Towards Jeff Hardy. Used as a multiple meaning phrase referring
to the fact that Hardy was contemplating hitting Punk, Hardy having
yet to sign a new contract extension with WWE in real life, and
Hardy's history of being unable to say no to drugs, also real life.
July 3, 2009.

"Are you proud o' yourself, Jeff? I could've been seriously
injured last week. And you got a lot of nerve faking an eye injury
and leaving me to fend for myself, especially considering you're
the one who injured my eye in the first place. As far as what you
said earlier about me making the whole thing up, coming out here
with your cute eyepatch mocking me: I wanna show you something,
Jeff." (takes out a little plastic jar of some sort of liquid eye
medicine)
"This, is polymoxin bisulfate. I have to apply this to my eye three
times a day. The only way you obtain this is with a prescription,
from a doctor. Now, I know, you know a thing or two about
prescription medication, but I don't think you realize is that you
have to go to a doctor to legally obtain some. Unlike you, Jeff,
this is the only foreign substance I will allow in my body. So if
you wanna imitate me, why don't you try living a clean lifestyle?
Why don't you try living, a straightedge lifestyle? "Jeff… you've
got two strikes. You know how many I have? Zero. Jeff, you know how
many times I've been suspended? Zero. You know how many times I've
been to a rehab facility? That's right- zero. And do you know what
your chances are of beating me at Night of Champions?" (long
pause)
"Zero."

Addressing Jeff Hardy before his match with the Great Khali, both to prove that
his eye injury is real (in storyline) and to drive home a point
about the drug-related mistakes of Jeff's past as recently as 16
months ago. July 10, 2009.

"I'm sorry, Jeff, I'm a little taken back right now. I mean,
this is… this… this is what it comes to? People actually cheering
because you haven't failed a drug test in a year? This is not an
accomplishment! Maybe it's an accomplishment to you, Jeff, so
congratulations. You haven't failed a drug test in three hundred
and sixty-five days. You can start writing your Hall of Fame speech
right now."

Beginning a lecture criticizing Jeff Hardy on being proud of
the fact that he hasn't failed a drug test in over a year, despite
the fact that he'd already failed two beforehand and would've been
fired if he'd failed a third one. July 17, 2009.

I've come out here tonight to challenge you...challenge you,
the WWE Universe, into seeing things my way and to learn how to
just say "no." See, because the people who cheer for Jeff Hardy are
just slaves to the vices associated with his (with quote
fingers) "living in the moment." I feel bad for you, I really
do. You walk around almost blind and you wear your prescriptions
proudly on your sleeves like they were badges of honor. What was it
the doctor told you? 'Just take one...every four hours,' right?
Aside from myself, there's not a person in this arena who hasn't
abused prescription medication or taken a recreational drug. And I
know, trust me, it's hard being straight-edge, it's hard to live a
straight-edge lifestyle. It's extremely difficult to be me, but
what concerns me now is that none of you realize how much more
difficult it is to live the life...that you all live. I'm positive
nobody in here takes into account the long-term cosequences of
alcohol on your liver. (Smattering of cheers from
audience) See, and you cheer that. That's nothing to cheer.
You drink because it's fun, right? (Audience cheers a little
louder) Eventually, it's not gonna be fun anymore when it
spirals out of control and its no longer...it's no longer fun.
Sooner or later, you're just drinking to feel normal. And then
there's the smokers. You know, I don't know what's more
disgusting–is watching a smoker pollute his/her lungs with over
4,000 foreign chemicals, or having to listen to the smoker convince
themselves that they can quit whenever they want to. It's...it's
hard to quit, I know, it takes a very strong person to quit, but an
even stronger person never would've started smoking in the first
place. (Audience boos and chants "Hardy") I didn't want to
come out here and be the bearer of bad news, but let's face facts:
chances are pretty slim that any of you here will ever get the
monkey off your back. You'll never be able to pry the cigarette
from your lips, or find the self-control to pour your drink from
your glass, or the self-respect to take the pill out of your mouth.
See, it starts, and it can't happen without learning how to say
"no" to temptation, and that's why I'm out here. I'm out here to
challenge you before it's too late. Please, learn how to say "no"
to temptation, learn how to say "no" to your vices, learn how to
control yourself.

July 24, 2009

So all you people here, despite evidence to the contrary, still
choose to support a man that for all intents and purposes can't
even support himself? OK, OK, so if you're a Jeff Hardy fan, if
you're wearing a Jeff Hardy t-shirt, if you're wearing one of his
diabolical little handsleeves, God forbid if you have your face
painted, I want to see you stand up right now. I want to hear you
make some noise! Go ahead, if you love and support Jeff Hardy, let
the world know! (Crowd cheers, stands up.) Cameraman,
cameraman get a good shot, get a real good shot at all these
people. The truth is ladies and gentlemen, I don't blame you. I
don't blame anybody here for supporting Jeff Hardy. The people I
blame, are their parents. Or let's be realistic here, I said
parents, what I should have said was parent. Because it's obviously
a single parent situation, just like the way Jeff Hardy grew up.
See you people are so concerned with the relationship with your
children failing, just like your marriage did, that you acquiesce
to their every whim and their every desire. I hate to tell you,
this doesn't make you a good parent, Philadelphia, it makes you an
enabler. (Crowd boos. Starts chanting for Hardy.) And the
fact that you even let your children look up to a guy like Jeff
Hardy, just shows that you really don't care what happens to them
to begin with. It's a sad situation. So I don't blame anybody here
or sitting at home watching this, that supports Jeff Hardy if
they're under 17, because they're young and they're, well, they're
impressionable. The real problem lies with the parents, it's the
parents who don't make a conscious effort to sit their children
down and teach them the proper way to live! (Crowd boos.)
You see it starts with a Jeff Hardy t-shirt, next thing you know
they're smoking a pack of cigarettes, after that, they're drinking
a bottle of beer. Right after that they move on to shots of Jack
Daniels, which is a gateway drug for marijuana...(Crowd pops
for marijuana.) And the fact that you people sit here and
cheer that goes to show that I'm telling the truth! How about some
old fashioned street drugs? And before you know it they're digging
through Mom's purse because they're addicted, they're addicted to
prescription medication. (Crowd cheers, Punk mouths,"That's not
cool!" to fans.) All of this can be stopped before it's too
late! Parents, all you have to do is talk to your children. Sit
them down and show them the way, tell them the words that can save
their lives, show them that sometimes it's what you don't do that
makes you who you are! For weeks, for weeks I've been saying to
people like you, just say no. But today I think we should just say
yes. Yes to the future of a straight edge, drug free America! Just
say yes to the winner of tonight's match, just say yes, to the
World Heavyweight Champion! Thank you!

I tried. I tried so hard to empathize with all of your
weaknesses. I implored every single one of you to just say "no,"
and all my empathy got was for you to love Jeff Hardy that much
more than you already did. But this will not deter me. I will stay
the course; I still believe in teaching you people the difference
between right and wrong. (Audience chants "Hardy!") Oh,
obviously it's gonna be challenging, listening to you people, and
by the looks of some of you, it's gonna be a big challenge. But
just like any other challenge that's come down the pipe in my
lifetime, I'm gonna meet that challenge head on like a man, just
like I did last week. Let's take a look. (Recap of Punk's
assault on Hardy) See, now I know why you people love Jeff
Hardy so much. It's because you are all just like him; and, in
turn, Jeff Hardy is just like all of you. The reality is, none of
you have the strength to be straight-edge. (Audience resumes
chant) You gravitate towards Jeff because it's the easy way
out: it's easier to weak like Jeff, because you sure can't be
strong like me. Oh, you can boo all you want. I know why you boo,
you know why you boo. It's because I tell the truth. And the truth
sometimes hurts, doesn't it? For instance, what does it say on your
prescription bottle of pills? "Take one every four hours"? Well,
don't tell me you people don't gobble four, six, eight at a time
like they were Pez. That is drug abuse—I don't do that. I
also don't smoke, and those who do are stupid. You gotta be stupid
to not listen to the Surgeon General, especially when he prints the
warning label on the package of smokes. You gotta be a fool. And we
can talk about those funny cigarettes, and you obviously
know what I'm talking about because you cheer, and that's utterly
sad. That's pathetic. I...I can't even wrap my head around you
people cheering, 'cause when you smoke those funny cigarettes, not
only is that hazardous to your health, it's also illegal. So those
who have taken a puff, not only are you poisoning yourself, you're
also breaking the law, so the vast majority of everybody here in
this arena is a criminal. I am not a criminal—I never have been,
and I never will be. Now let's talk about alcohol. I've saved the
best poison for last, see because this is a gateway drug. Don't
tell me not a single one of you here has ever said, "I'm gonna go
out for one drink," and one leads to two, and two drinks leads to
three, and then it's a double of this, and a shot of that, and then
your head winds up in the toilet, night in and night out.
Congratulations, that is alcoholism. And in my book, if
you even take one drink, you're an alcoholic. So I
understand why you people love Jeff Hardy so much, I understand why
Jeff loves you—it's because you're all weak. Whether you like it or
not, whether you know it or not, you deserve better. This entire
world deserves better. What you need is a leader. You need a strong
leader who's gonna stand up in the face of adversity and just say
"no." You need a strong leader that's gonna carry the banner of the
World Heavyweight Championship with honor, with pride, respect,
dignity, integrity, and class. What you people need is a
straight-edge World Heavyweight Champion. You need CM Punk.

August 7, 2009

Punk: Hey, Jeff. Jeff, aren't you nervous
sitting way up there so...high? Especially in the
condition you're in, and by "condition", I mean that you're
probably drunk right now, just like all these people here tonight.
(Crowd boos) Yeah, that's something to be proud of, I
mean, you'd have to be under the influence to stomach this "live in
the moment" crap that you spew. What's living in the moment gotten
you, Jeff? I know it got you a night in a hospital, and for what?
The adulation of these people? One brief moment of attention?
(Crowd chants "Hardy") You know, I don't know what's more
pathetic—all these people hanging on your every word, waiting for
the next pitiful example for you to set that they can lead, or you
and your egotistical addiction to their cheers and support and
adulation. Listen, listen to them, Jeff. They actually believe that
you can beat me at SummerSlam. (Crowd cheers)Jeff: So do I.Punk: So does our general manager. Teddy Long's
the guy that said TLC is your match. It's Jeff Hardy's match,
everybody. They're right, it is your match. This TLC is your
last match. I know what I have to accomplish to get
everything I want. When I beat you at SummerSlam and I take back
my World Heavyweight Title, it will validate everything
I've said in the past. I will prove once and for all, beyond the
shadow of a doubt, that straight edge is the right way, that
straight edge means I'm better than you. Jeff, I
have to get rid of you to teach these people the difference between
right and wrong. I have to get rid of you to teach them how to say,
"just say no." I have to get rid of you so they stop living in your
moment, and they wake up, and they start living in my reality. Make
no mistake about it, Jeff; there's no turning back from this point
on. You can talk about the space from the top of that ladder to
this mat, but from here on out, there's nothing left. At
SummerSlam, I will hurt you, and I will remove you and the stain of
all your bad examples from the WWE forever.Jeff: Punk, you can't destroy me, you can't
destroy what I've created over my ten years here. Kansas City's not
gonna listen to you. You won't beat me at SummerSlam,
Punk. I will prove that I'm better than you in my specialty:
Tables, Ladders, & Chairs.Punk: You're right, Jeff. You know what, you
wouldn't be here if it wasn't for them, because you need them to
enable you. You need them to justify your reckless behavior with
their support and their cheers, just like they need you to somehow
justify their reckless behavior, with their smoking and their
drinking and their use of prescription medication. They try in vain
to live vicariously through a man who, by way of his lifestyle,
thinks he can fly.

Interrupting Jeff Hardy's promo from the top of a ladder.
August 21, 2009.

I would love to talk to you about that, Josh, but there's
something else I want to bring up, and that's this. (Holds up a
screenplay entitled "Live For The Moment: The Jeff Hardy
Story") I had a friend in a fancy Hollywood agency the other
day, and he ran across this little gem. Somebody actually took the
time to write a screenplay about the Jeff Hardy story. So I was
paging through it, and lo and behold, it culiminates, of course,
with Jeff conquering his demons and beating me her tonight in a TLC
match at SummerSlam. What a great feelgood story, Josh, all except,
of course, for the ending, which is not reality-based. It's fake,
it's phony, just like everybody who lives in this town. I'd go as far as to say that
I'm the only real person in this building right now. I wish I could
say it's a Los Angeles epidemic, but the fact is it's worldwide.
You have people that falsely idolize what they see in movies and on
television; you have housewives in Iowa that subscribe to U.S.
Weekly, US Weekly, or whatever it's called, so they
can model their hair after Kate Gosselin, instead of helping their
own children with their homework; you have little kids all over the
world, millions of them, who idolize the "hip, cool star", and it
doesn't matter if that hip cool star is some dork vampire in
Twilight, or if it's Jeff Hardy. It doesn't matter if that
hip cool star has a reprehensible, reckless lifestyle. You know, it
doesn't matter if the collective intelligence of this entire
country continues to spiral downward, day in and day out. It
doesn't matter as long as it's cool, right? You know why
they don't make movies about a guy like me? It's cause I don't
support your poisoned society. I don't support this den of iniquity
known as Hollywood. No, instead, I'm dismissed as being preachy,
except I'm not preachy—I never have been. I just tell the truth.
You know, I'm not a screenwriter either, but tonight I think I'll
take a stab at it. Tonight I'm gonna rewrite the ending of "The
Jeff Hardy Story". It's gonna be horrifying. It's gonna be very,
very graphic. It might be hard to watch for a lot of people, but it
will have a happy ending: new World Heavyweight
Champion—CM Punk.

And the sad part is that you actually believe in The
Undertaker. You actually believe that he has all these magic powers
which is really alll just smoke and mirrors.

I have no breaking point, and all you have
to do is look in my eyes and realize I have laughed in the face of
temptation time and time again. I have never tapped out to
society's attempts at peer pressure. You try to stick a beer in my
hand with the same commercials that have hypnotized all of you
people, and that sell you all your narcotics and things you're
addicted to. Well, I'm harder than any alcohol you can drink, I'm
straighter than any line you can snort up your nose, and I
certainly can hurt you a lot faster than any pill you put on your
tongue.

September 4, 2009

Okay, I get it. You people destroy billions of brain cells on a
daily basis with your excess consumption of alcoholic beverages,
over-the-counter as well as prescription medication—the latter of
which, chances are, aren't even yours—and a veritable laundry list
of substances that you shove into your soft little bodies day after
day. The reason I bring up your chemically-induced mind is because
I think the lot of you have forgotten my accomplishments, so please
allow me to jog your ailing memory: I am the only three-time
straight-edge World Heavyweight Champion in WWE history, I am the
only Superstar in WWE history to win back-to-back Money in the Bank
Ladder Matches at WrestleMania, and don't forget I am the
man that did you, the WWE Universe, a favor that you didn't even
deserve when I got rid of the Charismatic Enabler Jeff Hardy from
this company...forever. But that runs a close #2 to my
crowning achievement of using my Anaconda Vice and, for the first
time, making the Undertaker [makes the motion on his
chest] tap out—I did that. Me. I did that, and I did it all
without drugs, I did it all without alcohol, and above all else, I
did it all without any help from any of you. So I want somebody,
anybody in a position of power to come out here right now and treat
me with the respect I have earned, not only as the face of
SmackDown, but the poster boy of the entire company, and as the
choice of a new generation, I deserve to know who my next opponent
is now that I have defeated the all-powerful Undertaker.
[Waits amidst the boos of the crowd] Oh, that's right.
There isn't anybody left!

September 25, 2009

Look at you people. Look at what's become of the mighty United
Kingdom. This land used to be filled with kings and knights and
noblemen. You used to rule half the planet, and now you're just as
sad and pathetic as the Americans. You can pretend you're not, you
can pretend you don't spend your days tucked away in some little
pub downing your pints of ale; you can pretend you don't spend
every single night filling your lungs and those around you with
carcinogens and poisons from your fancy cigarettes and trendy
cigars; you can pretend you don't knowingly stuff chewing tobacco
in your mouth in one of the most disgusting habits I've ever seen
in my life—something that will give you cancer inside of two years.
You people are weak-minded. You have no heart, your spirit is
broken. You're practically decomposing right before my very eyes as
I talk to you, and the only thing you can do is boo or wave a
crooked little finger at me and accuse me of being preachy. You
people need somebody as righteous as myself to preach to
you the proper way to live. You should all aspire to be as great as
I am. Do I think I'm better than you? Absolutely, and it's not that
hard because my mind is clear; my body, free of poison. Look at
me—I am perfect in every way. My strength comes from within, and I
don't need a crutch to get through my everyday life like you
people, and I certainly don't need a crooked official like Scott
Armstrong to fight my battles for me. I filed a formal complaint
with the Board of Directors; and as far as tonight goes, I will
beat R-Truth just like I'll beat him at Survivor Series,
and just like I can easily beat up everybody here in this arena
today. Because I am the Choice of a New Generation, and R-Truth's
gonna come out here and ask you people, "What's Up?" I'll answer
that little riddle for you right now. I tell you "what's up"
Straight-edge—that is what's up. No narcotics, no drugs, no
alcohol, no cigarettes, no prescription medication, and that, you
sad, sad people, can save your entire pathetic country and the
entire world.

"Doubt fucks everything. Take a foundation, no matter how
strong, sprinkle generously with doubt, and watch it crumble. Me?
I'm unfuckwithable. Not this knee, not bad weather, and certainly
not the many men that wish bad intentions on me can stop me. I rise
up, not like a phoenix, but like the zombie corpse of Dick Murdoch.
This brainbuster is for you."

Unsourced

"Doubt fucks everything. Take a foundation, no matter how
strong, sprinkle generously with doubt, and watch it crumble. Me?
I'm unfuckwithable. Not this knee, not bad weather, and certainly
not the many men that wish bad intentions on me can stop me. I rise
up, not like a phoenix, but like the zombie corpse of Dick Murdoch.
This brainbuster is for you."

"Ray Charles died today. There's talk of putting Ronald Reagans
big head on ten dollar bills, but I'd much rather reach into my
wallet and see a smiling Ray Charles looking back at me. What the
hell did Reagan ever do besides fuel a cold war? Stupid
republicans. Ray Charles kicked heroins ass, overcame poverty, and
even though he was blind, became one of the best piano players in
the world. The guy had soul. The fucker even knew when that little
black kid was trying to steal a guitar from off his wall in blues
brothers! Reagan never did shit like that. This proves my theory
that Ray Charles was really Daredevil. Ben Affleck is a pussy.
Where's the multi state c-span 24 hour weird mass viewing funeral
for a talented musician? Ah fuck it, I've gone off on another
tangent."

"So I'm sittin' in Nashville Tennessee, it's a Wednesday night
- and I'm wrestling on pay per view. maybe you've heard of it,
"NWA:TNA." Around Thursday at 5:59 at night I fly to Chicago. From
Chicago I fly to Heathrow, from Heathrow I fly to Germany. This is
the absolute WORST trip of my entire life... and I travel a LOT.
See I've been all over the world. I've been to Puerto Rico, I've
been to Japan, I've been to Mexico, I've wrestled in South Africa,
I've wrestled in Asia. I've wrestled from the tip of Antarctica
down to Antar- I've been everywhere. My plane comin' into Chicago
is late. I gotta' hustle halfway across O'Hare Airport. I've got
people *laughin'* at me, because a seventy-year-old man who's on
the same flight as me made it to the flight to Heathrow first. So I
get to Heathrow, and the lady at the BMI counter tells me to stand
in line at the Luftstansa counter because that's who handles the
German flights. Well I stood in line for FORTY-FIVE MINUTES and had
to listen to all these little Irish pipsqueaks complain that
something's wrong with *their* passports. And when I *FINALLY* get
out there, I *FINALLY* get to the counter, my plane's leaving in
nine minutes and they tell me I can't get on it. You know what I
did? You know what I did because of who I am, CM Punk? Because I'm
drug free and alcohol free? I *took* my bags, I even picked up a
little old lady who needed the lift... and I RAN to my gate, and I
GOT there in time, and they PUT me on that plane -- 'cause I am a
LEGEND, I am a superstar. And I get to Germany. I get here and I
have to put up with the SAME crap that I have to put up with in
America. "Chris Hero." Chris Hero, you beat me ONE TIME, and I had
a hundred and fourteen degree temperature and the GOUT. This is no
laughing matter. Germany, you made a name for yourself... this is
your home. This is the first time I'm here. And what's CM Punk
known for doin? BEATING THE ODDS. Today, sixty-minute Iron Man
Match... I'm gonna' pin you sixty seven times and it STILL won't
matter. No matter how many times you pin me, if i let you, I am
STILL better than you. Because *I AM* drug free, *I AM* alcohol
free, and I'm straightedge. And I'm better than you."

"So here we are in merry old England. CM Punk, Straightedge
Wrestling Superstar. And what's the national passtime here in
England? Certainly isn't *wrestling*... You think every single
person here in this crowd is here to see *wrestling*, but they're
not. You see cause there's a bar, right over to my right right
here. (To a fan wearing glasses) What are you hear for? Four eyes
what are you here for? (Another fan shouts "to drink beer!") To
drink beer, EXACTLY. You're here to drink beer. You're a LOSER, and
your dad probably beat you when you were a kid... which was
probably two weeks ago. (Now facing the camera) He's so drunk he
can't even keep the poison in his mouth. You see I believe in three
things: No drugs, no alcohol, and no promiscuous sex. See I'm a
fine, upstanding individual... and if these fans came to see me,
they came to see somebody who's better than them. Now England is
known for soccer -- at least that's what we call it in America. You
guys call it "football," but I'm here to *wrestle*. Tonight, I'm
here to destroy Raven, and I'm here to destroy every single one of
Raven's fans. Who's a Raven fan here? No damn sense! None of you
have any damn sense! (Crowd starts to chant "al-co-hol!
al-co-hol!") DRINK! Keep drinkin'! Keep drinkin I WANT you to die!
You smoke too?! Keep smokin'! Drink up, England... I WANT your
liver to fail. Smoke up England, I WANT you to die. And here,
speaking of death, right here tonight in that very ring - GET A
SHOT OF THE RING - tonight, just like I did in America I'm gonna'
DOMINATE you, Raven. And your time in FWA will be "nevermore." And
you can quote THAT, bitch."