The Comically Screwed State Of Politics, In Small, Easy-To-Swallow Bites.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Rage, Racism, And Republicans: A Teabaggers' Delight!

The usual right-wing parade of gun nuts, racists, white supremacists, Jesus freaks, Ayn Rand die-hards, and big government paranoids marched on Capitol Hill Saturday to protest the President's evil health care reform plan to kill grandma and baby Trig, the government's out-of-control spending, and all else that comes with having an illegal Kenyan Socialist Muslim as President of America.

Alternately singing "God Bless America" with chants of "Heil Hitler," tens of thousands of protesters took to the streets of Washington to fight back against the Führer Obama, Nazi Pelosi, and the rest of the fascist, big-government scum ruining the nation.

Armed with the usual tasteful mix of Confederate flags, "Bury Obamacare with Kennedy" posters, and enough colonial costumes to make anyone feel proud, the good citizens of this country proved to the rest of the world just how nutty some folks really are.

Of course not every protester at the big September 11th Teabagger Festival on September 12 focused on Herr Obama and his socialist policies bankrupting America; some directed their ire at the illegal immigrants leeching onto the country, the horror of their sacred semi-automatic machine guns being taken away, and this outrageous unAmerican plan to spend taxpayer money on something other than bombing oil-rich countries in the Middle East.

While most lawmakers decided to steer clear of the fun-filled rage parade, some brave souls like South Carolina Senator Jim DeMint decided to hinge their political futures on the notion that such important American ideals as unchecked aggression, bigoted rage, and sheer, unadulterated ignorance, are shared by the vast majority of citizens.

"This is not some kind of radical right-wing group," Sen. Jim DeMint said. "I just hope the Congress, the Senate, and the president recognize that people are afraid of what's going on."