What Does It Take to Stop Abusing Alcohol?

When Do You Finally Hit Rock Bottom?

Is It When You

Are
required to undergo random monitoring to keep your professional RN license?

Complete
multiple treatments for alcohol dependency?

Are
placed in a sober living house?

Receive
numerous DUI arrests?

Spend
nights in the county jail?

Nearly
lose your RN career, or

Are placed
on a 24/7 monitoring program for an entire year?

No.

It is only when you are desperate enough to surrender and seek help that a changed life starts.

Meet Twila

Twila is an alcoholic.

She went through each of these experiences and losses
trying to control her drinking.

Early Onset Drinking

Twila grew up in a rural North Dakota farming family the middle
child with two brothers. In high school she participated in basketball, cheerleading,
gymnastics, volleyball and track, along with FFA-Future Farmers of America.

She was social outside of school. She started drinking at
age 13.

Like many students in her area, she partied on the
weekends, easily getting alcohol supplied by the older siblings of her friends.
“We met on the section lines and gravel pits in the country. Sometimes I drank
to the extreme.”

Her dream of going to college, getting married and having a
family came true. And then it all fell apart as alcohol played a growing role
in her life.

Alcohol was often a part of their married social life. “We
entertained other couples with children so no one had to get a babysitter. We
hung out with sports parents who wanted to have a few beers after the events.
There were times I wasn’t done drinking when the event ended for the night.” But
being a parent and having a job often curbed her drinking, when it needed to.

Fitting In

The effects of alcohol helped Twila feel like she was
“fitting in and being a part of.” It helped her feel comfortable in her own
skin. “I was never told growing up I wasn’t good enough or that I didn’t fit
in. I told myself these things. I was always trying to be somewhere else, as
someone else, doing something else.” Alcohol was her solution. It worked right
up until it didn’t work.

Failed Self-Control

She spent many years trying to control her drinking so it
would not go to the extremes. She felt guilt and shame by her behaviors around
her drinking. “I knew I might have a problem when I drank to black outs or when
my husband had to take care of me after I drank too much. We often had
arguments about my drinking.”

She’d trick herself into thinking everything was okay
because she still had things like a house, a car, a job, etc.

But she wasn’t.

Abusing alcohol cost her a lot, including her

Sanity

Peace

Purpose

And
most importantly, her relationships with her children and her 22-year marriage

Rock Bottom

Twila’s desire to keep her RN job defined “rock bottom” for her. “I couldn’t compromise my professional career. It was the last thing I was holding on to. I’d already failed as a mother, wife and family member.” She often felt embarrassed for not showing up to work after spending nights in the county jail for DUIs. Losing her job was too much to bear.

Rehab to Sobriety

1st Time

Twila’s been to treatment for alcohol dependency twice-both
at Heartview Foundation https://heartview.org/ in Bismarck, North Dakota. The first in
January 2014. By this time, she’d run away from home, her marriage and her
children. It was intensive outpatient treatment that lasted until March. She
then attended an Aftercare program once a week. This was to last for five
months.

She couldn’t stay sober.

Twila attended 12-Step Recovery meetings. She could string
up a few months here and there. “I honestly didn’t want to stop drinking.” She
wanted to be a ‘normal drinker,’ to control her drinking and to drink socially.

She was angry. “I was angry at the hurts I’d caused and at
the life I’d destroyed for myself and others.”

2nd Time

Twila entered outpatient treatment again in June 2015
because her drinking had compromised her job. She took time off from work-the
first time in 20 plus years. She still couldn’t stay sober.

Sober Living House

A third DUI in October 2015 resulted in Twila spending a
couple months in a Bismarck women’s sober living house. “I couldn’t trust
myself. Alone time was drinking time.” Consequences of that DUI required 24/7
monitoring for a year and random monitoring for her professional license. “The
combination of these two monitoring programs slowed me down enough to do the
honest inside work that 12-Step recovery asked me to do; as honestly as I was
able to at that time.”

AA-Alcoholics Anonymous

AA is Twila’s solution. “AA has taught me to be comfortable
in my own skin. In addition, I’ve learned to be grateful and humble, and to be
of service every day, especially to the next suffering alcoholic.”

There are three innate traits all addicts need to recover,
according to Twila.

Willful
surrender to the disease and to a program of recovery

Attitude
of gratitude

Humility
without humiliation

Twila believes the #1 thing all those in recovery need is LOVE. “In AA, it is said that we will love you until you can love yourself.” Those still actively using need “a chance to suffer enough to seek a life in recovery” and those incarcerated need “a message of hope that life can look different. That they can press the reset button anytime.”

The organization’s mission is to reduce recidivism and to
erase the stigma of being a felon and a person with an addiction.

It preaches that one’s past does not have to define one’s
future and that you are your own greatest asset. You can refresh!

Twila is actively involved in this growing organization
that today has men’s houses in four cities. In addition, F5 has care
coordinators and peer support specialists in eight anchor cities. And, holds
jail/institution meetings at facilities in seven anchor cities. “Most of the
people working with the F5 project have lived the experience either as a felon,
as someone in recovery or as someone with a mental illness.”

Free Through Recovery

Free Through Recovery is a North Dakota community based behavioral health program designed to increase recovery support services to individuals involved with the criminal justice system who have behavioral health concerns.

Recovery Reinvented

In addition, it’s worth noting that North Dakota’s First
Lady, Kathryn Helgaas Burgum, https://www.governor.nd.gov/first-lady-kathryn-burgum a
person in long-term recovery, has made tremendous impact on recovery efforts in
North Dakota through her addiction platform.

Recovery Reinvented https://recoveryreinvented.com/ is an
ongoing series of innovative practices and initiatives to eliminate the shame
and stigma of addiction in North Dakota. They seek to find solutions to help
people affected by the disease of addiction with proven prevention, treatment
and recovery approaches.

One Day at A Time

Every night before she goes to sleep, Twila says prayers for those needing healing and forgiveness. She awakens with a prayer of gratitude and asks God how she should show up for the day.

Sending Twila prayers for strength in her continued
recovery and patience and understanding in her search for purpose and
self-worth. Deep gratitude for all she does for those seeking to refresh their
lives.

Linda Leier Thomason writes freelance business and travel stories along with feature articles. Her work experience includes a Fortune 500 corporation, federal government, entrepreneurship and small business. Read more about her background and qualifications by clicking on the “Meet Linda” tab above.