Geppetto, Please Bring Me a Real Live Boy!

I went out with a real live boy the other night. However, I texted my sister and said I was going out with a real love boy, which made me laugh and think of a sex doll, but it was quite different from that. What actually happened is a friend of a friend was in town with nothing to do and going out with me is more appealing than staying home on a Saturday night watching TV. Score!! Wait, no one scored.

We went for barbecue and to see The Internship starring my lottery fantasy, Vince Vaughn. I hadn’t heard good reviews, but I actually liked it a lot. There were some really funny parts and while it was a complete advertisement for Google, it was entertaining and PG-13 so just the right amount of raunch.

And what I realized on my faux date is that I long for adult company of the opposite sex. It was so nice to sit down and just have a conversation with a man. And you’ll be happy to know there was little to no word vomit, my social anxiety was at a minimum, and we had great conversations. It helps that he was really interesting and lives in another state so there was no pressure to impress. Not that I’m impressing anyone right now but very soon I’ll be ready and then, watch out. Like a butterfly from a cocoon…….just kidding, I’m sure I’ll come out with more of a whimper than a roar.

But let me give you a wrap-up of my birthday week:
Tuesday – cake, presents, dinner and a movie.
Wednesday – bar trivia and cake.
Thursday – pizza at Cindi’s sans cake.
Friday – dinner and a movie with the girls, there was cake.
Saturday – dinner and a movie with a man.
There seems to be a recurring theme which involves cake, dinner, and movies. Mmmmmmm…..I sure love movies!

Okay, I promise that’s all about my birthday.

My point is, the monkey pretty much ruined me for relationships. He really did a number on me, if you will and I’ve been cocooned for years. I always thought I would rather die alone than go through something like that again but the other night I actually felt healed. I felt like I’ve been missing something for all these years and wished I could go back and make some changes. But I can only go forward, so let’s go, okay?

And last thing’s last. Here’s the birthday card the girls got me that made me cry:
You’ve had a bad day or a terrible night,
and you don’t have the strength to stand up and fight.
You want to give up. Life is awful, all right.
But who really cares? It’s your mom.

Your heart just got broken, you’re feeling alone,
with more angst and sadness than you’ve ever known,
so you take a deep breath and pick up the phone.
Who’s always there? It’s your mom.

You’re so overwhelmed. There’s just too much to do.
It feels like the whole world is leaning on you.
You can’t even imagine how you’ll ever get through.
Who’s by your side? It’s your mom.

You’re upset and confused – big decisions to make.
Which path to pursue? Which chances to take?
Would it be a smart move or an awful mistake?
Who’ll be your guide? It’s your mom.

Yes, all through your life, whatever you need to make you feel better or help you succeed…some advice or a hug or a kind, thoughtful deed, it’s always one hundred percent guaranteed: Who loves you the most? It’s your mom.

Man, I love those little suckers! And all due respect to the fathers that stay, but every day should be Mother’s Day.