21 Signs You Should Dump The Guy You're Casually Dating

It's not breaking up, because you're not official. But when do you throw in the towel with someone you're casually dating?

By
Anna Breslaw

Mar 19, 2014

1. You don't get butterflies when he texts you. You feel nothing. Tired. Ice heart.

2. You spend a lot of time trying to justify to friends why it's the right decision to break up with him. Even though they're like, "I don't know why you're trying to convince me, dude, it sounds like it's not going anywhere."

3. He's not considerate in bed even though you've basically been frank about how it's not working for you. "Two minutes of missionary, rolls over, watches Burn Notice" is not how to get a woman off.

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4. He's not considerate in life. You have to make all the plans. You have to look up the movie times and restaurant reviews. You have to sit there for 20 minutes by yourself when he's inevitably late for no good reason. No amount of "sorries" make up for repeated little thoughtless-nuggets like this.

5. He doesn't ask you about your family. Or your job, or how your day was.

6. He's not comfortable talking about feelings. Having a 7th grade emotional maturity level might be common in men, but that doesn't mean you have to settle for no vocal affirmations of your cuteness/funniness/intelligence/general appreciation from the dude you are dating.

7. He doesn't make you feel safe. If you are constantly unsure of what his feelings are, or he doesn't make you feel secure in some way, ain't nobody got time for that.

8. He drunk-texts you at 2 a.m. to ask if he can use your house as a crash pad. No.

10. He has begun any sentence, ever, with "What does consent mean, REALLY?" Or makes rape jokes. Or says something about "Feminazis." Really, anything of that nature.

11. You always approach discussions about the future with caution. I'm not talking about marriage, just short-term plans like "When it gets warmer out we should go to the park" or something. So as not to "scare him off." Screwwwww that.

12. You pay for everything. This isn't a gendered thing: Neither one of you should be paying for everything. You should be going Dutch on the regs. If you are the one who's always throwing down, that's no good.

13. He complains about being broke and then drops $70 on a bar tab. Yeah, it is hard affording a security deposit and first months' rent when you're going out every night and buying you and all your friends multiple rounds of top-shelf booze.

14. He doesn't shower enough. Yuck.

15. He doesn't read. Double yuck.

16. He expects the dynamic where the girl he's dating is the "buzzkill." Or, in the words of Miranda Hobbes, "the mean mommy." Go out with your friends if you want! Ugh, STOP ASKING ME IF I'M MAD, DUDE. If I were mad, you'd know.

17. He does the thing where he mentions that his friends are bugging him to go out and hints that he wants to go with them, but at no point says "I would like to go out with my friends tonight instead of hanging out with you." Juuuuuuuust GOOOOOOO. It's so much more annoying when you're not up front about it.

18. He drinks and/or smokes so much that he can't get it up. Ooooof.

19. He constantly forgets the gender of your pet. She can HEAR you. Does she LOOK like a male cat to you? Okay, this is not that big of a deal, but still speaks to a lack of attention to my life.

20. He assumes you want to get married and have babies ASAP. And is afraid of "hurting you" by not wanting the same thing. Why is it always assumed that the woman is a crazy-eyes commitment-obsessed Must-Start-A-Family-Now freak?

21. He does not do the small, thoughtful things that someone who really cares and is ready to show that would do. For instance: He lets you pick up dinner ingredients and does not offer to bring wine.