End of Life Preparations

Preparing for Your Passing

Every person comes to the end of his or her mortal life at some point, but since most people are doing everything they can to avoid this reality, very few people actually plan for it. And as you know, that end can come tragically when it is least expected and at any age, so waiting until you are 65 years old to complete your will and other arrangements isn’t planning ahead, it is procrastinating. Of course, better late than never applies here too. Planning for your passing will help your loved ones at a time when they need less on their minds, not more. The stress of dealing with someone who has suddenly left their lives is enough of a burden that we don’t want to add any extra stress if we can avoid it. Therefore, one of the greatest gifts you can give your loved ones is some amount of planning and thought towards your end-of-physical life arrangements.

Some of the things that you should make sure are taken care of before you pass are:

Last will and testament. If you have a simple estate, you can handle your last will and testament through a website like Legalzoom.com. There is also software for sale that helps you complete your will, such as Quicken WillMaker Plus (this can often be found at the public library as well). If your estate is larger and your finances are more complex or the beneficiaries of your will are larger in number or there are other complicating issues then you should complete your will with the help of an attorney. The attorney will take care of all the details and make sure that your last requests are adhered to by all parties.

Living will, do not resuscitate order (DNR), allow natural death (AND) order. A living will (advance directive) is a preplanned document containing instructions for a person’s health should they no longer be able to make decisions due to illness or incapacity. A DNR is a legal order indicating the wishes of a patient not to undergo CPR or advanced cardiac life support (ACLS) if their heart were to stop or they were to cease breathing. AND is another term for DNR. A living will can be created at a website like Legalzoom.com or with the help of an attorney.

Cemetery. Think about where you would like to be buried, if that is the route you will take when you pass. Do you want to be buried in your original hometown or is near your present home good enough? Once you decide on a cemetery find out how much plots or burial vaults cost. Burial plots bought ahead of time can be half the cost of plots bought at the time of burial. If you can decide ahead of time that you don’t want an extravagant casket either, that will be very helpful information for your family. Costco and Walmart sell caskets and funeral urns at low prices, so you don’t have to take just what the funeral home is offering and which can be very expensive.

Cremation. Deciding whether you are to be buried or cremated is very important for your spouse or other loved ones to know. This option is much cheaper overall and more environmentally friendly too if you’re worried about that. If you are going to be cremated, you also need to decide what you are going to be doing with your ashes. Will they be interred in a small vault at the cemetery? Will they be displayed in an urn on someone’s mantle? Will they be spread in the ocean, at a park, or in the backyard garden? My uncle, an avid bird watcher, wanted his ashes spread at his favorite park and bird watching location.

Funeral arrangements. Do you want a memorial service? If you do, where will it be? Or, you may want save everyone the trouble of flying in from all over the country (and world) to say goodbye to you when it can be done on Facebook and be a calmer transition for all of your loved ones, especially if you’re going to be cremated and there is no burial service planned. There could be a gathering where the ashes are scattered at the shore or some other favorite place of the deceased. The Internet also has memorial websites for remembrance. Or a prayer could be requested in honor of the deceased on a certain day.

Passwords. In the high-tech 21st century that we live in we are saddled with a number of pesky passwords that protect our important financial, medical, and other information. You should have a password-protected document (Word or Excel) on your computer of all your important passwords and your spouse or other important loved one should be aware of the password of that document. It should have passwords for your banking websites, investment accounts, insurance websites, e-mail accounts, Facebook, Twitter, cell phone accounts, credit cards, and any other website or on-computer passwords that may be deemed important for your loved ones to know. The login password for your computer is of supreme importance to share with someone, as are your phone and tablet passwords.

Safe deposit box. Let your spouse or other loved one know about if you have one of these and where the key is, etc.

Organ donation. If you are going to be donating organs or you want to but have not indicated this anywhere you can go to organdonor.gov, choose to donate on your driver’s license application, or indicate your desire in your living will, or last will and testament.

Some amount of planning for the end of your life on this planet - anything you can manage at all - will be appreciated by your closest loved ones, the ones who will be tasked with the arrangements after you are gone. If some groundwork is laid for them ahead of time their lives will be so much easier at a very difficult time for them, and you will be doubly loved for your thoughtfulness. Take a first step today!