The Women Men Marry

Can Fading Romance Stop A Proposal?

I read some research a while back that identified the lifespan of romance. From a survey of fifty thousand couples, researchers had concluded that the romance in a relationship died after two years, six months and twenty five days. That’s right; paying off that new car could last longer than the special feelings you and your spouse-to-be share.

It seems incredible to a couple freshly in love, but the numbers don’t lie. After less than three years the rush of endorphins and emotions that feels like fireworks in your stomach now will have slowed to something considerably less impressive. Probably more akin to gas.

According to the research, after just that long more than half the women surveyed stopped wearing makeup for their significant other. Even more were un-inclined to dress to impress, preferring to wear track pants or pyjamas around the house. Men fared no better. After the new-relationship buzz faded, nearly three quarters were content to leave dirty laundry laying around. The days of the hurried clean-up to look good were long gone.

It’s no surprise really – those heroic efforts to make a good impression can only last so long. They happen because we are fuelled by a fizzing mix of emotion, novelty and hormones. What it means is that we need to make sure the relationship that develops is based on something more significant or there will be a gaping vacuum when the sparks finally fade.

Some friends of mine explained to me how ‘empty nest’ syndrome feels. When their last child headed off to college, they looked at each other and said, “Now what?” If they hadn’t deliberately invested time and energy in each other – in developing interests and activities that they enjoyed and that created real intimacy – they would have been lost. If their whole relationship had devolved to be about their kids, they would have found themselves alone in the house with a stranger. It’s the same with the outset of a relationship. Without working on some genuine ways to get to know one another beneath the whirlwind of burgeoning love, there may be little there to sustain you both when the novelty wears off.

So if you really want a fairytale ending, forget the fairytale. It takes more than flowers and butterflys every time you meet to make marriage work. Find out who you really are and where you really connect, and build on that. That way, in about two years when he leaves the toilet seat up again, you will love him regardless. Learn more ways on how to keep the romance in your relationship

Sincerely,

Dan Kelly

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Paul’s Thoughts

A loss of romance can definitely stop a man’s plans for a proposal cold in its tracks. As Dan said “According to the research, after just that long more than half the women surveyed stopped wearing makeup for their significant other. Even more were un-inclined to dress to impress, preferring to wear track pants or pyjamas around the house.”

When a man sees women dressed to impress with their hair done, makeup on and an outfit that knocks their socks off, it can be a real let down to see your partner with no makeup, hair in a bun, glasses and sweat pants on. Does this motivate him to propose? No it doesn’t.

Now don’t get me wrong at this point men are not doing much in the romance department either, so they are just as much to blame. The difference being who is it that wants a proposal. If you are wanting your boyfriend to propose, you need to dress to impress him at least three out of every six times that you see him. (I know he should love you for you, even without makeup on, but being politically correct is not what motivates men)

I don’t mean seeing him after you come from work and you look nice. I mean dressing up with the specific idea of catching his eye. The thing you have to keep in mind is that you are still competing with every other woman until the both of you are married. If you want him to propose that means you have to keep his attention on you and away from other women. The best way to do that is by dressing to impress him.

Just take a look at a few examples of celebrities with makeup and without makeup. We all have good days and bad days. The problem is when all your boyfriend sees are bad days, he can forget how truly beautiful you can look. He needs you to constantly remind him. Looking your best isn’t the only key to stepping up your romance, but it is a start. Here are more ways to on how to be romantic to get your boyfriend to propose