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To Sam3 November 2013

Fitting in

I feel like at school I'm different to everyone and no one really likes me I dont fit in and i can't concentrate. I have problems trusting people and talking to people about things whenever I go to the teachers I feel like they don't really care and would rather be doing something else. My mum favourites my brothers and never pays attention to me what shall I do? Thanks B*

Sam4 November 2013

Hi there,

Thanks for your message.

It sounds like you are feeling really left out at the moment, both at school and at home. I can hear that you would like this to change and Im really glad that youve written in to ask me for some help.

Youve told me that you find it hard to trust people. Trusting someone with your feelings can be hard and is something it can take a while to feel comfortable with, particularly if you have had your trust broken before. I imagine it could be quite overwhelming to think that no one at school likes you and that you cant trust anyone. I can see how that would make it hard to feel comfortable or concentrate while you are there.

Theres often more than one person in a big group who doesnt follow the crowd, and feels like they dont fit in. Is there anyone else in your year that you think might think a bit more like you? What would it be like to try and find just one or two people who you think might be more open to getting to know you a bit better? Just smiling and saying hi each day can be a good way to start building more of a relationship with someone.

An adult like a teacher should be someone you can feel confident about trusting. It is really positive that you have tried to talk to them, and Im disappointed to hear that you felt they didnt care. You deserve to be taken seriously. Maybe you could try asking one of your teachers if you can arrange a time to come and see them when you know they wont be in a hurry. It can be that if you try talking to them in between classes, for example, they might not be able to give you their full attention. This isnt because they dont care, but might be because they are not fully prepared. How about asking to see a teacher at break time or lunchtime, somewhere you wont be interrupted by other young people?

You dont have to deal with this all on your own. Everyone needs some help and support and it sounds like you are at the point where you could use some. It might be worth thinking about all the adults around you that you feel would be able to help and support you. You could speak to one of the ChildLine counsellors by calling on 0800 1111 or logging in for a 1-2-1 chat. They would be able to work with you and think about your options so things can be different for you at home and at school.

Take care,

Sam

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