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Topic: All Things Christmas (Read 6164 times)

The christmas season is finally upon us, and the lights, trees, and cheer are all over. There is no better time of the year, unless you are Scrooge or the Grinch, or just a happy Koratfart-er. So got anything chrismasy stick it below, jokes, pics, good or bad.

HEY! do you remember those awful jokes you got in the chrismas crackers

Why hasn't father christmas got any children ..... He only comes once a year. Ho! Ho! Ho!

Santa falls victim to the Bah-Hum Bug virus and hackers leak his Naughty or Nice List. Will everyone get coal? Watch what happens when Santa, his son, and the North Pole elves team up to save the holidays!

Although we expats in thailand will have a fairly good time here, over the christmas season, there's a missing ingredient, Family back home.

Family is the heart of Christmas, The rest is just decoration, even missing friends and relatives that we only see once a year. There is no time of year quite like Christmas for tugging at the heart strings.

Ah well i guess i'm lucky enough to have a loving family here.

But ........ it just doesn’t feel Christmasy like back home. In the twelve years of being in thailand i've never realy felt homesick, only at christmas, i guess that's true for many people. I think the reason that we feel particularly vulnerable to homesickness at this time of year is that all of our memories, traditions and cultures come to the forefront of our minds

Look on the bright side, Remember all the hassle of Christmas that you get to avoid, buying loads of presents, Battling through the crowds in the shops, and having to wear that hand knitted jumper you got as a prezzie Back at home, people will be getting sick of hearing Christmas music piped through the shops by early December.

Here's a little piece from Roger Crutchley @ bangkokpost.com/opinion all about the about the festive season.

Feeling one’s way through the festive fog

Good morning! Well, I hope it is, although if you are anything like Crutch you are probably more likely to be scrambling for the pain-killers right now.

The festive season — otherwise known as Jinger Ben time — is well and truly upon us, not that there is much to get festive about.

It can be a rather gruelling fortnight, wearing silly paper hats, pretending to enjoy tired Christmas songs and generally behaving in a jovial fashion when the last thing you feel is jovial.

I’m beginning to sound like Ebenezer Scrooge, although I’m not quite sure how “Bah, Humbug!” translates into Thai. Scrooge, of course, featured in A Christmas Carol, the 1843 novella by Charles Dickens which played a huge role in the revival of Christmas traditions in Britain during Victorian times.

The Sunday Telegraph in 1998 even went as far as calling Dickens “The Man Who Invented Christmas”, although perhaps “re-invented” would have been a little more accurate.

Considering all the depressing news we have been subjected to lately, the festive season this year is actually something of a welcome break. We might as well make the most of it, because one suspects the coming year is not likely to be a real bundle of laughs.

In his Devil’s Dictionary, the 19th century American journalist Ambrose Bierce described Christmas Day as: “A day set apart and consecrated in gluttony, drunkenness, maudlin sentiment, public dullness and domestic behaviour.”

In other words, for some of us it is just like any other day of the year. Fortunately he didn’t comment on Christmas Eve, or we would be in real trouble. to be continued ...........

A bit more amusing reading from Roger Crutchley who wandered around on christmas eve and joined in some festivity drinking, dancing around to YMCA by the Village People. Have a read .........

Just dropping in

There is one particular Christmas Eve I remember with fondness, back in the 1970s in the small town of Kalibo, on the island of Panay in the Philippines.

Normally a quiet spot, Kalibo erupts once a year when it hosts the At-atihan festival in January, advertised as “three days of drinking, dancing and eating” ... and you’d better believe it.

But this was Christmas Eve, and like many towns in the Philippines at that time, Kalibo was suffering its nightly “brownout”, a temporary electricity blackout. I was walking along the street, looking for a place to have a beer.

This is not normally a problem in the Philippines, but at Christmas the whole place shuts.

Then I heard the sounds of disco music and laughter, coming from up some stairs which were lit by an enticing red glow.

It looked quite promising, so I stumbled up the stairs, only to find I was in someone’s house and had unwittingly gate-crashed a family Christmas party.

I made due apologies, but was grabbed by the host who thrust a glass of whisky into one hand and a plate of food into the other and insisted I stay … and dance.

The remainder of the evening was spent with these delightful people, singing, drinking, dancing and eating.

It was exclusively disco music and I recall making a total fool of myself prancing around to YMCA by the Village People and assorted songs by Donna Summer, but no one seemed to care.

It was a marvellous experience.

Mind you, I felt pretty rough on Christmas Day.

The Kalasin Santa

A surprisingly large number of Santas can be spotted in Thailand at this time of the year.

I have a retired Australian friend who has just bought a splendid Santa outfit. On Christmas Day he will be .....

There's an interesting article from the telegraph.co.uk. How Britain invented Christmas. Why do we eat turkey and sing carols?. Harry Bingham tells the story ...........

How Britain invented Christmas

Ever wondered why we celebrate on December 25? Or why we eat turkey and sing carols? Harry Bingham tells the story of a surprisingly home-grown festival

The Christmas story starts a long way back - though not 20 centuries ago, as you might expect. Indeed, for several hundred years after the birth of Christ, believers no more thought to celebrate his birth than they did the loss of his first milk tooth. No one pretended to know the exact date he was born, nor did anyone much care.

Until, that is, the British got involved. There's nothing less British, you might think, than a story set in the Middle East involving wise men crossing the desert with exotic gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. But look deeper and you will find that Christmas is an example, in microcosm, of this country's extraordinary influence.

Many thanks thaiga for the Justin Bieber congratulates NHS Choir on beating him to Christmas No. 1. One of my daughters is a hardworking nurse and I am proud of her and of course am reminded of her this Christmas by your wonderful post.Kindest Reagrds

Yes thaiga,so many of us grumble about our lives that we miss the continued struggle for life's basics which surrounds us on a daily basis, especially in Thailand. I wish all the people of the world the very best for 2016 and for the many unjust conflicts around the world to stop.Kindest Regards

this topic has not been posted in for at least 365 days. of course not it's christmas. but more like silent night, what is it with you guys and no santa on the home page, oh! dear you lost your tradition. The lights are on, but nobody's a gnome

this joke will sleigh you / he he. Why doesn't Santa have any children ? Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.

I think the reason that some feel particularly vulnerable to homesickness at this time of year is that all of our memories, traditions and cultures are bought to the forefront of our minds. When chrissy comes round in Thailand i always get a bit sad thinking how it was as a kid, we never had a lot in them days but mum and dad always done us proud, they worked longer hours to find the extra bit of cash, bless them. Seems a shame they are no longer here, think they'd love christmas on the beach. Mum’s cooking, dry turkey, perfect stuffing, Christmas crackers, sherry trifles and mince pies. family is the heart of christmas, the rest is just decoration.

Ah! well roast chicken makes a lovely substitute. Still seems strange after all these years here, that every where is open, kids at school christmas day. look on the brightside no more christmas cracker jokes Whilst you may see a christmas tree in the local department store, i think it's more of a marketing ploy by the large companies. refreshing to know you don't have all that crazy buying going on like back home and wondering what to buy people, save loads on pressies as well, i'm feeling better already.

Folks back home are probably thinking how lucky we are, spending christmas in a tropical country, but it's freezing, little do they know.Well enough moaning, begining to sound like victor meldrew. Thailand is like a broken drum, you just can't beat it.

Christmas? Bah Humbug. This is an extract from A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. I may have posted it on here before but you cannot get too much of a good thing:-

This lunatic, in letting Scrooge’s nephew out, had let two otherpeople in. They were portly gentlemen, pleasant to behold, and nowstood, with their hats off, in Scrooge’s office. They had books andpapers in their hands, and bowed to him.“Scrooge and Marley’s, I believe,” said one of the gentlemen,referring to his list. “Have I the pleasure of addressing Mr. Scrooge,or Mr. Marley?”“Mr. Marley has been dead these seven years,” Scrooge replied.“He died seven years ago, this very night.”“We have no doubt his liberality is well represented by hissurviving partner,” said the gentleman, presenting his credentials.It certainly was; for they had been two kindred spirits. At theominous word “liberality,” Scrooge frowned, and shook his head, andhanded the credentials back.“At this festive season of the year, Mr. Scrooge,” said thegentleman, taking up a pen, “it is more than usually desirable that weshould make some slight provision for the Poor and destitute, whosuffer greatly at the present time. Many thousands are in want ofcommon necessaries; hundreds of thousands are in want of commoncomforts, sir.”“Are there no prisons?” asked Scrooge.“Plenty of prisons,” said the gentleman, laying down the penagain.“And the Union workhouses?” demanded Scrooge. “Are theystill in operation?”“They are. Still,” returned the gentleman, “I wish I could saythey were not.”“The Treadmill and the Poor Law are in full vigour, then?” saidScrooge.“Both very busy, sir.” “Oh! I was afraid, from what you said at first, that something hadoccurred to stop them in their useful course,” said Scrooge. “I’m veryglad to hear it.”

how sweet of you to remember your folks from christmasses years ago and you never forgot what they done for you all them past years, how they worked hard to make you happy at the festive season. a joy to read a post of thanks, rather than the braggers of today on social media, look what i have brought myself, have you noticed they always mention how much they paid for it like the money matters more than the item.

I am having a genuine Scrooge Christmas here. As usual, my alarm woke me at 5 am, I had a shower and I was in work by 6:30 am. So Happy Christmas to all on Koratfart but just spare a thought for me as you down your bottles of Leo. New Year's day is rumoured to be a holiday but don't tell Scrooge.

I can guess where you are T/T, don't over do it, nasty stuff that thing called work. A chance to say where ever you are scrooge, make the best of it and good luck for the new year. Your take the piff post's have good humour, keep em coming. Bah humbug.

Thanks to (a bit near the mark) jivvy for following the forum, have a good one, can't see a day that you've missed logging in, right back since the year 2011, what was that other forum called kolatfalang or something like that, they still going.

A mention to J/F for making it all possible, thanks for funding our fun, have a good christmas.

OH! there's nagging nan, how could we forget your insults, christmas is a time for goodwill to all, so have a good one.

A big shout and a merry one to roger for producing 1,557 posts since 2012, most of good content.

KC whether your here or there have a good one and thanks for your comments.

B/F where are you, put that camera down, have a good one M8.

If i've missed anyone blame it on my age, what i do miss is the sad loss of our members that have passed away, they produced really good content. My heart goes out to there families, especially this time of year. R.I.P. the forum dropped when we lost them, but with your help we can get back there. A forum is nothing without it's members.

If your from the Uk and missing home this'll cheer you up as you might get depressed before you get there soMake conclusions as you think fit

i"m surprised no one has picked up on the spelling mistake in your smiley

no different to last years smiley on a roll, just nobody noticed it, or made a big thing about it as for the correct spelling Christmas or Xmas or even xmass or ex-mas which one is correct, some people don't think it's correct to call Christmas Xmas - Taking the Christ out of Christmas as the word comes from Christ-Mass. which was too long a word to fit in the smiley generator.

Christ-Mass being the Church service that celebrated the birth of Jesus. They had to be careful years ago and christians would have to meet in secret or the romans would kill them, years ago the fish symbol stickers, they were every where, jesus wanted to make his followers fishers of men, so people started to use that symbol. one person drew half a fish shape in the dust on the ground with his foot, the other person drew the other half of the fish.

So who put the x in xmas, which is an abbreviation of the word Christmas, they say it came from the greek word Χριστός, which in English is "Christ, The "-mas" part is from the Latin-derived Old English word for Mass. although as you know there are so many different story's from years ago which contradict one another.

an eye for an eye or turn the other cheek. depends what mood your in i suppose

Christmas and its origins aren't always what they seem. The first time I visited Bethlehem I thought I was going to die. Departing from the town where Jesus was born, where Christmas is supposed to have begun, I stood at the security checkpoint waiting to leave the West Bank for Israel.Ahead of me was an elderly Palestinian man with his grandson. His papers were out of date and he was trying to convince the young soldier to allow him through. He then told the child at his side to lift up his shirt, revealing a package duct-taped to his stomach. Suicide bombings were common in the summer of 2002 and I stood there, strangely calm, waiting for the explosion.The package turned out to be a colostomy bag, the boy had an appointment at a Jerusalem hospital, and two hours later I wept. As I say, Christmas and its origins aren't always what they seem.Mind you, Bethlehem has seldom been as calm as the Christmas cards make out, and 2000 years ago the Romans and their collaborating friends in the Jewish population thought nothing of the occasional bit of slaughter. But was there a birth in, was it in winter? Were shepherds involved? And what has the modern Christmas got to do with it all?Inventing ChristmasTo answer the last question: not much. There is a delightful new movie currently doing the rounds entitled The Man Who Invented Christmas, where Christopher Plummer as Ebenezer Scrooge and Dan Stevens as Charles Dickens show how the season of goodwill was moribund until A Christmas Carol appeared. Not quite.The book was published in 1843, when Britain was being transformed from a rural to an urban society, with increased working hours, strain on families and wavering of traditions. Dickens wanted to emphasize the charitable nature of it all, to use it as a metaphor for social justice. The phrase "Merry Christmas" already existed, but Dickens was responsible for making it habitual, and the linking of Christmas with snow is also quintessentially Dickensian – perhaps the idea of a new purity, a washing away of dark, mid-Victorian inequality.• 'The matter can never be settled': The controversy over who wrote The Night Before Christmas• Christmas banned? The unknown, forgotten and surprising history of this holiday traditionBut Dickens was merely giving a reboot to a festival that had existed for centuries. Santa Claus or Father Christmas is a development of Saint Nicholas, a Greek bishop from the fourth century, possibly with a few hints of the Germanic god Wodan thrown in. The way he is depicted today is more Coca-Cola and Hollywood than the early church, but then most good stories are collections of earlier legends. Decorating trees, kissing under mistletoe, carol singing, puddings and the like have various origins – some ancient, others modern, all delightful.Then we have the story that started it all — the one that it's so fashionable to be cynical about. The early Christians didn't celebrate Christmas, and Easter was the central event in the church calendar. Actually, it still is.In the fourth century, it was agreed to treat the birth of Christ as a holiday, but as scripture doesn't give any dates for the event — it had to be made up. Winter is doubtful because sheep herding takes place in the spring, but nevertheless Pope Julius I opted for December 25, probably so as to appeal to pagan converts who observed the festival of Saturnalia in December.Winter solsticeThere were other factors however. Many pre-Christian societies had long-established celebrations in December, and the winter solstice was important to northern Europeans who commemorated it with what they called the Yule, where logs would be put on the fire and those sitting around the flames would feast and drink.It was also one of the few times when meat was readily available because animals were slaughtered due to the difficulty of feeding them in the winter. Add to all this the Roman elite's affection for Mithra, the god of the unconquerable sun, whose birthday was celebrated on December 25, and we have a Christian holiday just waiting to happen.But it's too glib, too convenient, to argue that the contrived nature of the Christmas holiday somehow means that there was no nativity and thus that the entire Christian story is – well – humbug. In my opinion, the only arguments as annoyingly facile as those of fundamentalist Christians are those of fundamentalist atheists. There is a middle way. The intelligent doubter will at least consider the ancient non-Christian writings that speak of the Galilean preacher whose followers called the Christ, and the intelligent Christian couldn't give a snow globe exactly when it happened but that it did happen.Belief in Jesus as the Messiah and acceptance of His teachings is something different of course, something more, than the acknowledgement that He lived. The former is an act of faith, the latter an act of logic. And faith has to be given voluntarily and never demanded. It's taken Christianity far too long to accept that fact alas, which is something to remember this secular, pluralistic Christmas. To quote Dickens' Tiny Tim, "God bless us, every one."

This column is part of CBC's Opinion section. For more information about this section, please read this editor's blog and our FAQ.

Interesting piece KC, who really knows the truth. What the Bible says: The Bible does not give Jesus’ birth date. But we can safely conclude that he was not born on December 25. How so? The Bible tells us that when Jesus was born, shepherds were “living out of doors” tending their flocks at night in the vicinity of Bethlehem. ( Luke 2:8 ) The cold, rainy season usually began in October, and shepherds—especially in the colder highlands, such as those around Bethlehem—brought their sheep into protected shelters at night. The coldest weather, sometimes accompanied by snow, occurred in December.* wol.jw.org/en