For Those Who Want to Know Ahead of Time What Their Roommates’ Arguments Sound Like…

This Craigslist ad to assemble a friendly crew for a group housing situation includes a lot of information about the couple who are organizing it — including what their fights sound like. They’ve been together five years (at just 21 and 22 years old) and are “basically married” and “don’t do drama.” As proof of this disinclination, the ladies break down a sample argument:

“Did you feed the cats?”
“No, you went to work so I assumed you fed them.”
“I didn’t.”
“Well I’m not a mind reader.”
“THEY’RE GOING TO STARVE BECAUSE- oh wait no, they got into the trash, lousy brats. I take it back, they deserve a late breakfast.”

Be warned, however, that while the fights are brief, they may get repetitive in terms of content as the pair has the two cats, five fancy rats, a guinea pig, and a border collie — all of whose nutritional requirements will need remembering.