Who
is the audience member that heckles Fozzie? It could be Wally,
the host from The Muppets
Valentine Show making his only speaking Muppet Show appearance.
However he appears here without sunglasses and in other episodes
of The Muppet Show, Wally is seen with sunglasses in the audience
and dressed differently than the heckler. The
personality doesn't quite fit with what had been established either.

More
likely, it's a cameo from Leo from the Muppet Meeting Films making
his only Muppet Show cameo! Even though his partner Grump would
come later, Leo had already been making his sales pitches in 1975
with his classic "Sell, Sell, Sell" routine and was
featured in a pitch tape for CBS to persuade them to pick up The
Muppet Show. The heckler's talent for wordplay is much more in
keeping with Leo's character.

This
is the only first season episode to not contain an At The Dance
segment.

Some
other interesting observations on that audience scene...Fozzie's
act concludes when everyone leaves when he demands only Fozzie
Bear fans remain in the audience and is dejected to find his cousin
has left as well. However his cousin exits his seat even BEFORE
Fozzie turns his back and counts to three. (Maybe he slipped out
to the concession stand?) He's gone before Leo starts counter-heckling
Statler and Waldorf. Also, Miss Mousey switches seats with Mary
Louise between the two exchanges!

Finally
in regards to that audience, even though everyone leaves except
Statler and Waldorf, they're all back in their seats to cheer
on Ethel as she takes the stage and can be seen applauding at
the end of her number (though this shot is one of the stock footage
audience shots that's used throughout the season, complete with
Wally with sunglasses and different outfit and Miss Mousey seated
in another spot). They had apparently rushed back into their seats
when they heard Ethel start her song from backstage.

Brian Henson: "Hi,
I'm Brian Henson. When I was a kid my father was so into gadgets... cars especially.
And he had this tape that he used to play which was "How to Speak Mock
Swedish". And he used to drive to work and I used to ride with him a lot.
And he would drive to work trying to make a chicken sandwich in Mock Swedish
or make a turkey casserole in Mock Swedish. It was the most ridiculous thing
you had ever seen. And people at traffic lights used to stop and sort of look
at him a little crazy."

"But that
was the roots of the character that would eventually become The Swedish Chef.
And if you watch The Swedish Chef one of the most exciting things about it is
the head is just speaking away and trying to follow the hands which are grabbing
meat cleavers and throwing chickens over his head. To me the best part about
the Swedish Chef is the more you don't understand him, the more you love him.
Here is The Muppet Show."

OPENING
THEME

Fozzie's
joke: "I went to a diet doctor and in just two months I lost
$300!" (FOZZIE DOUBLE CHECKS HIS SCRIPT - HE DOESN'T GET
IT! HE REMAINS CONFUSED AS KERMIT BEGINS TO SING HIS VERSE!)

Miss
Piggy plans to sing a medley of Ethel Merman's hits as a tribute.

KERMIT:
Why would anyone want to here you sing Ethel Merman's songs
when Miss Merman is here to sing them herself?

PIGGY:
Well...since I've rehearsed them why don't I just do 'em and
call it a tribute to Irving Berlin?

MUSICAL
NUMBER - "JAVA"

Another
classic Muppet routine from their pre-Muppet Show guest appearances!
Two "slinky"-like pipe cleaner characters perform a
dance with the smaller of the two getting carried away and upstaging
the larger creature causing it to flatten the small one and shove
it aside. Like most Muppet sketches, the underdog has a way to
get ahead in the end! [This song was released on the 1986 Muppet
Favorites album.]

BALCONY

WALDORF:
That song had a nice beat!

STATLER:
No no, I don't want to eat.

WALDORF:
I said beat BEAT you old fool? Why don't you turn up your hearing
aid?

STATLER:
There's going to be a raid?! Let's get out of here!

BACKSTAGE

Fozzie
alerts Kermit that his agent will be paying him a visit later
on.

KERMIT:
What does he want to talk about?

FOZZIE:
My contract.

KERMIT:
Fozzie you don't have a contract.

FOZZIE:
THAT'S what he wants to talk about!

CURTAIN

Kermit
explains that several cast members wanted to sing a duet with
Ethel so they've arranged a medley since she has introduced so
many classic songs.

MUSICAL
NUMBER - "ETHEL MERMAN MEDLEY"

Muppets
come on stage one by one to sing a duet with Ethel. There's great
interplay by the various characters and Miss Merman all around.
Kermit, Fozzie, Scooter, Gonzo, and the two-headed singer from
Ben Vereen's opening number get their turns before Miss Piggy
gets to show off one of the songs she had rehearsed, "Anything
You Can Do, I Can Do Better". The pig ends up winning the
high note battle against the Broadway legend! Even Uncle Deadley
tries to join in...

DEADLEY
(singing): I hear singing and there's no one there...

ETHEL:
You would!

BALCONY

WALDORF:
Wonderful! Wonderful! I remember Ethel Merman in the opening
of "Panama Hattie".

STATLER:
You're old enough to remember Teddy Roosevelt and the opening
of the Panama Canal!

BACKSTAGE

Irving
Bizarre, Fozzie's agent arrives and is quite the short one. Fozzie
has to prop him up on Kermit's desk for the two to negotiate and
even then all we can see is a top hat over a pair of shoes! Even
though Fozzie asked him not to, Kermit can't help cracking the
"short jokes", but when Irving fires back at him, the
frog shows he can dish it out but can't take it!

ONSTAGE

Ethel
points out to Hilda that there's a mouse in her dressing room.
When Hilda replies it's the only place she has to change, Ethel
wonder what kind of place she's stumbled into...and then meets
Animal!

UK
SKIT: BALCONY - "DON'T SUGAR ME"

...And
speaking of mice, in probably the weirdest UK skit of the season,
Statler asks Waldorf what he takes in his tea.

WALDORF:
Oh, milk, two sugars, one mouse...

STATLER:
One WHAT?

WALDORF:
Mouse! Take a look...

Sure
enough, Miss Mousey (from The
Muppets Valentine Show) pops up from the teacup and sings
"Don't Sugar Me'. [Despite her role in the first Muppet Show
pilot, this is Miss Mousey's only appearance this season aside
from being seen as an audience member. She's used a bit more in
season two as a minor competitor with Miss Piggy for Kermit's
affection.]

TALK
SPOT

Miss
Piggy interrupts the proceedings to offer Ethel Merman a toast
and shills for singing tips in the process. Piggy may have won
the battle of the high notes earlier, but Ethel wins the war of
the divas by shattering Miss Piggy's glass with her voice.

A
peacock, mouse (what IS it with mice this episode?), and hippo
all take a turn on a playground slide.

BALCONY

STATLER:
More! More!

WALDORF:
Hey look, there is more.

STATLER:
Oh good grief, they heard me.

SHADOW
PUPPETRY PART TWO

The
trio individually attempt a high wire act. [While certainly impressive
and funny on its own merit, the shadow puppetry demonstration
is greatly enhanced by the terrific music that accompanies it!]

BACKSTAGE

Miss Piggy gets to meet Irving as Kermit takes advantage of the
situation to quietly slip away for a bit. [Exiting towards the
left even though he'll be entering the stage after this scene.]

IRVING:
Not bad looking for a pig...want me to handle ya?

PIGGY:
I already have an agent, Shortstuff!

IRVING:
I don't want to be your agent, I just wanna handle ya!

CURTAIN

Kermit
introduces Fozzie as he hints to the audience that he's currently
negotiating himself out of a contract as Fozzie peaks through
and overhears.

FOZZIE'S
COMEDY ACT

Fozzie
faces a very tough crowd...his identical cousin in the audience
performs his own jokes, Statler and Waldorf chime in and are counter-heckled
by another audience member! Fozzie finally demands that he only
wants to see real Fozzie Bear fans in the audience after he counts
to three...everyone except for Statler and Waldorf exit the theater...including
his cousin!

BACKSTAGE

After
Fozzie essentially clears the house, it appears the contract negotiations
are about to break down, however Kermit eventually relents and
offers Fozzie ten times as much money as he's presently making.
The only catch is Fozzie currently earns nothing. Ethel attempts
to cheer up Fozzie by reminding him of the real reasons performers
do what they do despite fickle audiences by singing "There's
No Business Like Show Business"

MUSICAL
NUMBER - "THERE'S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS"

Ethel
continues to take her number onstage as other Muppets join in
with female, male, and ensemble chorus lines.

CURTAIN

Ethel
is presented with a dozen roses by Miss Piggy at the show's end.
Contrary to her suspicions, they don't explode.

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