Saturday, August 16, 2008

Hello, Kitty

I truly did not intend to be silent for a week. Life conspired against intention, as life often does. Only now am I back at the keyboard and up to writing. It wasn't a dreadful week, just an ill mix of urgent deadlines and petty inconveniences with a large dash of under-the-weather.

My companion in misery is pictured at right. Say hello to Betty.

No, I have not gone and bought a cat, so please don't send notes of congratulation or condolence. Betty lives in the rambling Victorian pile where I've been house-sitting for friends while they and their dogs are away. My duties as temporary house elf include bringing in the paper, sorting the mail, picking ripe vegetables in the garden, and entertaining Betty.

Betty was raised by a dog and seems to think she is a dog. She acts more canine than feline: comes when called, greets visitors at the door, doesn't regard all humans with withering contempt, etcetera. She's also a chatterbox. Betty could out-talk an entire aviary of parrots. I've never known so vocal an animal.

I am long accustomed to silence and solitude when I work. The denizens of Chez Panopticon learned during the gestation of the little bookto clear out when I tell them to. Writing, drawing, and knitting with "assistance" all this week has been quite an adventure.

Here, translated from the Calico, is a snippet of Betty that I transcribed yesterday afternoon.

Hi! Whatcha doing? Are you drawing? Is that drawing? Let me see. Cool. Is that a sheep? Are you drawing sheep again? Move over so I can see. I like your pencil. You know what's fun? When we draw something together. Here, I'll help you. Hey! You know what else is fun? Drawing cats. You should draw cats. I'll be your model. Here. Draw this. Look. Look. Look at me. Look at me! Lookatme lookatme lookatme! Hey!

Where are you going? Are you going to the sofa? Cool. I like the sofa. Move over, I'm crowded. Whatcha doing? Is that knitting or crochet? Is that wool? Are you knitting with wool? It tastes like wool.

Here, I'll help you. No, seriously, I want to help you. Let me help you! Hey!

Are you going to write now? Why do you have to write again? You just wrote something this morning. Seriously, why are you writing again? Did you write enough? Or was it lousy? I bet that's it, isn't it? I bet what you wrote was lousy. You know what's fun? Writing together. I'll help. Move over so I can type. I said move. Move! Hey!

Why don't you draw instead? You can draw cats. I'll be your cat model. Move your glass of water so I can model. Here, draw this. Look. Draw it. See? That's my butt. You should draw my cat butt. I'll bring it real close so you can see the fine detail. Look at me! Lookatme lookatme lookatme! Hey!

When I go back home life with Dolores will seem positively placid by comparison. At least, I think it will. She's been on retreat in rural Wisconsin with campaign advisors for a couple weeks. I've had excited telephone calls from Harry that indicate the campaign is getting ready to move into high gear.

I wonder if anybody would notice if I moved out and ran away?

In the Works

I seem to be entering some kind of Hat Phase, and have three on the needles all at once. Pictures forthcoming.

And in spite of Betty's assistance, et al., I corrected the proofs of the little book (the design is sharp and witty–Interweave did very well by me) and also launch an experimental Etsy shop. So far, so good - have a look if you get a minute.

79 comments:

Oh come on, you know you want to rescue a kitty from life in a shelter cage. They are all different. I'm sure you can find one who won't be so inyourface. My tortoiseshell is vocal, but my torbie is not. A kitty could help Harry protect himself from the divine Ms. D!

Dear Franklin, thank you for restoring the smile to my face! I can empathize completely because I'm currently baby-sitting a cageful of finches (two zebras, one red-headed star finch, all males). They chat merrily to each other at the tops of their voices from dawn until dusk and give me a running commentary on everything going on outside. Accustomed as I am to peaceful near-monastic silence, it feels as if my brain has been permanently addled.

You must admit a chatty cat is seldom boring. Count your blessings. I LIVE with a chatty cat and 2 chattier dogs (miniature poodle, Pomeranian). I can't get a word in edge-wise around here. As a house sitter, you can leave it all behind you soon. Enjoy it while you can. :)

I hope you will add the photo you took of the fabulous lamps at the Turkish Bazaar to your Etsy shop. The composition, colours and perspective were perfection. I have never forgotten it since the day you posted it to your blog.

Congratulations on all you've done and all I'm sure there is to come!Leslie - knitting therapist

Ha, ha! I loved Betty's conversation. That is so like my two cats. They are dog-like, too. They come when called, they greet visitors at the door, and they are always loving on me and my guests. You have to practically pry them off.

I think there are way more cats who are like that than what people suppose. Cats have been given a bad rap.

Betty talks about as much as my Tigre, who was a very quiet cat until my neighbor/friend's cat, Miss Whiner (yes, that was her name and with good reason) died and Tigre started channeling Miss Whiner from cat heaven. It's been noisy ever since.

Ah, now you know why I have a "cat free zone" in my home. Despite the well known cat commandment "thou shalt not close doors", they've learned to live with the cat free zone. Okey dokey - off to look at the store!

LOL!!!That was really one of the greatest translations of Calico I've read in a loooong time but you forgot the "geeetttt uuuuuppp I'm hungry" part, that is the best time of the day for every cat owner.

G*d, that was funny. Please write about her again. The only thing wrong with it so far as I can see, is that it didn't contain any demands for food, or any fibs along the lines of 'I haven't had any breakfast today.'

Now see, this is what we call "the joys of pet ownership"! For someone who doesn't have a cat, you (with help, apparently) got PRECISELY the dialogue, I'm THAT impressed! My Evangeline is more subtle but similar; my Lilliane's dialogue is more along the lines of "do me do me do me do me do me" by which she means either "put down food" or "rubmytumNOW rubmytumNOW". (She never was "done" so she doesn't mean THAT.) I've been in touch with the campaign committe up nor' and can report that our candidate is behaving very well. (I think they've got her on something........alcoholic.)

Thanks for the chortles. I live with a Betty who is constantly inspecting my knitting and telling me to put it down and love her instead. At least she doesn't do what one of her housemates does. Buster just walks up my lap and shoves his head under my knitting hands with a purposeful look of "Worship me!" in his face.

If you do adopt, I'm sure you'll find one that will observe the rules. Make sure you have a cat-free room for your drawings or you'll have prints on your prints.

I think that Betty's cousins live with me - must be a chatty family of kitties who insist on being included.thanks for the great chuckle and peek at your week.btw - the new etsy shop looks like a wonderful beginning. love that photo of the old lady.

Franklin thanks so much for making me laugh! I can totally picture Betty saying all those things to you. I just wonder what she was thinking while you captured her in this picture. She seems so peaceful.

Betty sounds plenty like a cat to me... They live to get in your face when you ain't paying attention to them. Re: Etsy shop...you're going to sell out so fast the second you post something. Get on it!! :)

Betty looks (and sounds) just like my Cocoa kitty that I rescued as a 2 year old and had to have put to sleep last year at 18. That picture is priceless! I could never get a good picture of her because she was always trying to "help" me work the camera.....

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I live with a writing, knitting, cooking, freaky one. She doesn’t understand me either and is completely ungrateful. U-n-g-r-a-t-e-f-u-l! Brilliant, social, b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l, generous and unappreciated felines like us, well, it is our plight in this world to give give give the humans what they need until they realize for themselves that they need it. (See, brilliant. I am b-r-i-l-l-i-a-n-t.)

At least your writing, knitting, freaky one is leaving your house. Maybe I can housesit for an easy human someday. You know, a g-r-a-t-e-f-u-l one.

Have you read Half Magic by Edward Eager? (Lovely book written by an American admirer of E. Nesbit.) Some children find a magic coin that grants wishes—but it's a little the worse for wear, and they are only half wishes. One of them wishes he was on a desert island and ends up in the desert. Then, the youngest girl wishes that the cat could talk ...

Between the dog-like behavior and the running commentary, I vote that Betty has at least some Bengal in her and that I share living quarters with one of her relatives. Perfect translation near as I can tell!

i love you kitty cat betty. i have a cat she has feelings she has infectious peritonis . i hope she lives. invariably fatal.except for my time varibles and no none of our family is gay. we have an afinity of cats male and felmae well felin and felix.a clone kitty cat family for god brought back!

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