NOT-SO-GOOD IN THE MORNING

My friends know that if they want a “good laugh,” just give me a phone call in the morning. And it doesn’t do them any good to remind me of the dumb things I said, because I won’t even remember that I had a phone call in the morning….Larks and Owls, as they say.

I tried to be a Lark this morning. Tried to get my juicing out of the way, early, so good juice would be available during the rest of the day. Took a shower. Got dressed. Peeled those carrots. Started up the juicer…..and looked down at my orange feet. Somehow….somehow….the little thing that receives all the juice got put in there … uh …. upside down, as they say.

And since the juicer is at the end of my countertop, next to my refrigerator, I spent the next half hour lying on the floor on my stomach with a long knife and paper towels, trying to get the carrot juice out from under the refrigerator. And that’s not my photo of juice….can’t find the camera in the morning either.

Well, that little stint on the floor cleaning under the fridge led me to do some cleaning in the fridge where I found some leftover meatballs; and it’s been bothering me, because the last time I wrote about making meatballs it was to illustrate a theory about the cause of all the sinkholes we are experiencing around the earth. “Sinkholes: the Meatball Explanation” — and I’m quite sure I didn’t really make my point clearly enough.

In case you’ve forgotten all about sinkholes, they’re still occurring.

This one has been picked up by all the news media. It’s in Kansas. 200 acres of pasture land lost. No underground pipes burst, no old wells or old mines, no limestone formation collapses.

No explanation – unless you remember the meatballs. What I had meant to conclude was that if you take the same amount of meat, pack it hard into a little ball, you get hard, firm meatballs. Fluff up that meat and you’ll get “sinkholes” as you cook them. Same with the material that makes up the earth. As the earth expands, the “stuff’ the earth is made of gets “fluffed up,” and there is less pressure holding the earth matter together: sinkholes form.

Well, lest you think I’m going around in circles, repeating myself, there is a new point to all this. Seriously, with our Rulers taking away our medical healthcare, making it super-expensive and putting permissionfor getting health care into the hands of a politically-appointed panel of non-medical bureaucrats, some people have advised a new way of thinking about our health.

And I like their idea.

(We’re going to need all the farm land and pasture land we can keep ! No more sinkholes!)

I juiced my carrots (and other vegetables) tonight. Right there, in the upper right-hand corner — right side up.

Yes, thank you, certainly another cause of some sinkholes, along with the “water main breaks,” old wells and mine shafts, limestone caves collapsing,, etc., etc. Fracking is certainly harmful in many deadly ways. Yet….there are many “unexplained” sinkholes which I find fascinating.