Ok guys, thanks for all the great advice. Ultimately we needed to get another ride in the family ASAP so we went with a 2012 XC60 T6 w/85k for a solid deal, even on short notice. Have to say Volvo really seems to have hit it out of the park with this car, never been in one and they are very nice!

I have the 2004 X3. Agree that BMW service at the dealer can by bank drying. Then again so are Volvos. The X3 is a fairly easy car to work on and the parts are fairly cheap as the motor is used in countless BMWs. I prefer the M54 over the newer N motors. M54 is old school design but very robust - engines will go 200k without many issues other than the normal valve cover gasket and PCV system (just like the Volvos).

Ride wise the XC60 is much more refined, less sporty, but it is an SUV. The X3 is more harsh.