If I said I wasn’t nervous I would for sure be lying. I had an anxious feeling that Mikey had told everyone. His eyes were blank as I tried to cover up the fact that me and Bob were kissing in the hallway of my apartment. I failed, and I knew Mikey would not let this go because he’s that kind of guy. I paced around my room while Asia was still taking her nap. Bob was at his house showering and changing his clothes while I stood here wondering if Mikey spilled the beans to everyone, the feeling in my stomach made me feel sick. I almost jumped when my phone vibrated off my dresser. I grabbed it and flipped it open.

Why don’t you come by and have dinner with us at Mikey’s house? It’d be cool if you could make it.
- Gee.

I flipped my phone shut and stuck it back on the dresser feeling worse with the mention of going to Mikey’s house. I just wasn’t sure if everyone would approve of what happened with me and Bob. I know Gerard knows and Mikey is his brother after all. I had half a mind to avoid the text message when I heard my door open and Bob was soon filling the room.

“Hey.” He smiled and I half smiled back.

“Hi.” I replied while sitting back on my bed, Bob soon joining me.

“What’s wrong?”

“Why would anything be wrong.” I faked a smile.

“I know that face like the back of my hand now what’s up.” He asked again and I just shrugged.

“Most likely because he is. But even if he does, I think we need to get it out in the open. These are our friends Tissa.”

“I know that but I just feel…I don’t know how I feel. What if they don’t accept it?”

Bob scooted closer and he sighed again. A thing I’ve come to learn he does when he’s in thought.

“Then they wouldn’t be much of a friend would they? Whatever happens I’m sure they’ll accept. I don’t understand why you would doubt that. We’ve known them since junior high.” He said softly while I tried to argue my point but he was right and I knew it. I don’t know why I feel I couldn’t trust anyone. It was a habit I needed to break. I just wouldn’t let Bob know that.

“You’re right.” I whispered and he wrapped an arm around me.

“I think we should be think about putting this behind us. I’m not regretting anything but keeping our daughter a secret from everyone, our best friends.”

“I am too.” I admitted and then sighed.

“Well Gee wants us to be there around 6 so…” Bob trailed off and I glanced at my clock it read 3:32.

“I’ll finish cleaning up the kitchen and then I’ll get ready.” I half smiled.

“Need any help?” He asked sweetly.

“Just wake up Asia for me.”

“On it.” He smiled and kissed me on the cheek before leaving, it tingle slightly in a good way. I walked to the kitchen where I seemed to skip out on several dish washings. I collected the dishes and put them in the dishwasher while I wiped up everything else. I sighed and wiped an arm to my forehead before walking back to the bathroom where Asia and Bob had come out, Asia rubbing her eye and yawning.

“Hey sweet pea. Sleep well?” I smoothed her head and she nodded tiredly. I kissed her on the head before letting Bob take her back to the kitchen to eat something while I headed to the bathroom and put on the water. When the water was warm and steamy I undressed and stepped in letting the water fall down on me as some sort of comfort. The whole time I thought of a way to break the ice between everyone and come up with a valid excuse. I could just picture their faces right now. I hopped out and shivered from the cold air and quickly wrapped a towel around myself and into my bedroom where I slipped on my undergarments and pulled out a light green tunic with black blue skinny jeans. I blow dried my hair straight and smiled slightly from the warmness that came from it. And of course next was the makeup where I did green eye shadow and eye liner. I put on a black sweater and flats before coming to the living room where Bob was putting Asia’s dish in the dishwasher I heard him hiss from the hot steam in the process. I laughed involuntarily when Bob looked up.

“Something amuse you?” He asked and I shook my head and he laughed.

“Well don’t you look nice.” He smiled and I blushed.

“Thanks.” “Do you want me to get Asia ready?” I asked while he shrugged but nodded. I nodded back and grabbed Asia’s hand before going to her bedroom and dressing her out of her pajamas. I slipped on her jeans shirt and striped sweater with her shoes she never seems to want to take off. I brush her hair and let her run back to Bob who was waiting on the couch. By now it’s already 5:30 and Bob looks at me as a cue for us to leave. We get down to my car and I straddle Asia in before we’re driving off to Mikey’s house, the car ride being silent due to the fact that I didn’t know what to say. I could tell Bob was going over everything in his head as well. The clouds scatter the sky with several patterns getting ready to release its water over the Jersey city, fall rapidly turning into winter with each day that passed. I surely hope it doesn’t snow heavy like it done last year. I’m distracting myself in any possible as we reach Mikey’s house.

Bob turned on the familiar corner and soon we right in front of Mikey’s house. I reluctantly got out and helped Asia out of her car seat and took her hand as Bob led us to the front door. I knocked with my free hand swiftly, my stomach still fluttering. After a moment Gerard opens the door with a soft smile on his baby face that never seems to age. His black hair hanging in his eyes.

“You came! I didn’t think you would.” He grinned.

“Yeah…we came.” I replied with a half smile. Gerard waved at Asia and then looked surprised at Bob. He had not known anything since I left with Bob to go see Asia at the hospital.

“Come in.” He waved his hand back and forth and I stepped in feeling the vibe of the house and its neatly arranged furniture.

“I think we should umm talk.” Gerard said to Bob who nodded.

“I think that’s a good idea as well.” He replied and I nervously watched as they walked away from me and sat down at the kitchen table. I tried my best to hear the conversation.

“Look I swear I didn’t mean to keep it a secret from you, but Tissa asked me to and I wanted her to be the one to tell you.” Gerard said softly to Bob who mumbled something.

“I just hope you’re not pissed.” Gerard asked and I saw Bob shake his head. He muttered something. Damn it Bob speak up! His voice is naturally soft so I don’t think he’s able to speak and louder unless he’s yelling which is rare…really rare.

“Thanks man.” Bob said and they soon shook hands and hugged. I felt a lot better knowing the tension was cut between of them, now for everyone else.

“Knock, knock.” Frank, Ray, and Jamia suddenly appeared and I smiled.

“You’re back! You disappeared last time. Please don’t do it again.” Frank teased and I laughed.

“It’s a really really long story.”

“It’s fine.” Jamia added and we both hugged. I waved to Ray who gave me a hug.

“Yo Gee where’s your skinny excuse for a brother? I gotta give him his CD he won’t shut up about.” Frank asked very bluntly.

“Oh him and Alicia are in the back.” Gerard pointed and Frank nodded.

“So…?” Jamia trailed off.

“How are you doing?” I smiled.

“Good. How are you?”

“I’m fine. Just busy with stuff.” I replied softly and Asia tugged on my hand.

“I’m thirsty.” She said meekly before I nodded. “Let me see if Mikey has water.” I browsed through the kitchen where I grabbed a water bottle hoping he didn’t mind. I handed the bottle to her where she back down at the table.

“Is she yours?” Jamia asked and I nervously nodded. Her face dropped then beamed.

“Really since when? She’s so big.” Jamia studied Asia and I nodded once more.

“That’s kind of why I came over.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well I have to get something off my chest.” I answered honestly.

“Oh sweetie what is it?”

“I’ll explain when everyone is together.” I replied and she nodded hesitantly.

“Okay.” She smiled softly and I waited for everyone to come back. A couple minutes later Gerard, Mikey, Frank, and Alicia laughed as they came back in. I was surprised when Alicia hugged.
“Good to see you again!” She cried and I laughed nervously. She’s got a tight grip.

“You too!” I squeaked out. She let go and I could breathe again. I eyed Mikey suspiciously who looked back at me. Both of us not daring to speak. I asked him with my mind and he shook his head. I awkwardly turned away.

“Umm where how bout we move to the living room? Get more comfy.” Gerard suddenly said feeling the tension between me and Mikey. I nodded and walked Asia to the couch and sat down, as did everyone else.

“Umm dinner should be ready soon. It’s pasta.” Alicia said softly while smiling.

“Cool.” Frank grinned like a child and I giggled slightly. I looked at Bob who was looking at the ground and then at me.

“Whoa wait, is that a child?” Frank adjusted his eyes and looked up. Gerard rolled his eyes.

“Of course she’s a child you dipstick.” He retorted.

“Is she yours?” Frank asked me and I nodded again. Maybe I should just write on my forehead.

“Yes.” I said simply.

“Whaaaat?” He said confused and I nodded again and taking a deep breath.

“Look, there’s something I need to tell you guys, I just don’t know how.”

“What is it?”

“Well you see. When I left high school…I was pregnant.” I said slowly and looking at Bob. I continued.

“That night when Josh had the party, I sort of got out of hand and got really drunk. Somehow Bob was drunk too and we ended up sleeping together because we were both caught up in our emotions. We and Bob had no clue what happened thus Bob deciding to leave. I was depressed and hurt and then I found I was pregnant. After graduation I left Belleville and back to Newark to become a project designer for bands, and that’s when I had Asia. I should’ve been honest from the start but I just couldn’t bare the judgment ya know? I was half pissed off at Bob and I didn’t think I’d see you guys again, but then I received the job to do your guys’ album cover and that’s how it all kind of started. Gerard and I met for lunch where I confessed to him what happened that night and he swore he wouldn’t tell. I truly didn’t plan on telling Bob Asia was his but when I met you guys for Mikey’s housewarming party, I saw Bob. The reason I left so quickly is because Asia had a severe allergic reaction and I had to see her at the hospital. That’s when Bob found out and that bring us to now. Bob and I have been trying to work things out and let you know what really happened. I’m really sorry, I just didn’t know what to do.” I whispered and everyone’s face had dropped except for Gerard and Bob’s.

“Whoa…” Frank said and rubbed his head. Jamia looked like she was thinking and Ray nodded sympathetically while Mikey looked awkward as usual and I felt the most for Alicia who didn’t have a single clue what the hell was going on.

“But why you think you couldn’t tell us? Tissa we would never shut you out like that. We maybe been shocked as hell but we wouldn’t abandon you. I’m sorry you thought that we would.” Frank frowned and I shook my head.

“I know and I realize that now but I was in high school and being pregnant was just something that wasn’t accepted in this town. I thought it would be better if I just left.” I replied.

“Just oh my gosh. But the main thing is that we’re far from the past and shouldn’t look back on it. We’re all still here and still friends so I think that’s what matters now as long you are okay.” Jamia said wisely while looking at me, her soft angelic face.

“I’m okay.” I nodded and smiled when she did.

“Man I can’t believe that.” Ray spoke up finally and I shrugged. Bob had not spoken one word and I could sense his embarrassment.

“I’m going to check on the pasta.” Alicia gave a smile before exiting to the kitchen.

“It feels so good to have it out finally.” I whispered and Jamia came over and wrapped her arm around me.

“We’re glad you told us.” Mikey replied and I smiled at him and nodded.

“We’re here for you not matter what.” Jamia whispered and I hugged her again. I feel like the biggest idiot for not letting my friends know the truth. They were here and helpful and I felt that I didn’t deserve their friendship. I quickly wiped a tear that escaped when Gerard spoke.

“We should stop with the sadness and have a nice dinner to celebrate our friendship.” Gerard said cheesily and I smiled.

“That sounds good.” Frank added in agreement.

“Yeah.” I replied and Alicia had come back out.

“Dinner’s ready!” She exclaimed and Frank cheered of course. They began to stand up and head towards the kitchen while I stood up and wrapped my arms around Bob.

“Thank you.” Was I could whisper.

“I told you.” He whispered back and kissed my head.

“Come on.” He smiled and took Asia’s hand who was lost in her own world. She bounced on her feet while we joined everyone in the kitchen. Laughter filled the room and soon I joined in.

That’s how we spent the rest of our night enjoying each other’s company and trusting the fact that no matter how much you screw up you still have someone there for you. I cuddled into Bob’s side while him and Gerard reminisced on tour memories. Some vulgar, some just plain stupid. Frank and Jamia were playing with Asia while Mikey was helping Alicia with dishes. All my nervousness faded and my smile that I used to wear so long ago had come back. I hoped it only lasted.

I heard a cell phone go off and Gerard picked it up and blushed when he opened his phone and looked at his screen.