quail (verb): a) to lose heart or courage. b) to write a reactionary, sensationalist, misinformed, under researched, often xenophobic news article with the Express intention of inciting anger and intolerance

The review of state endorsed religious celebrations comes after it emerged that Miliband sent out Ramadan and Rosh Hashanahmessages to Embassy staff around the world, but neglected to prepare one for Christmas Day or Easter. He also hates St George's Day.

It is thought that Miliband, who once openly admitted that he doesn't believe in God or Santa Claus, issued the dictat 'to avoid upsetting different faiths and nationalities' like bearded Muslim jihadists and Scientologists. A local man said: 'What about my rights? He'll execute the tooth fairy next, and give all the teeth to those Talibans'.

The news comes a full seven months before Christmas, the earliest recorded banning of the Christian festival since history began when Jesus made the Earth in 1,500 BC.