Monday, September 08, 2008

OK, all you people who subscribe to my YouTube Channel, I've finally put some new stuff up there. I just uploaded a bunch of my old teenage movies. All of these were done on Super 8 film (not video, kids!) around 1979-1980 when I was 15 and 16 years old. The film was silent. The music was dubbed on ten years or so later when I transfered them to video (God, even the video transfers are ancient!). I was the director of all of these masterpieces, although I didn't understand what a director was at the time and thus gave everyone else credit.

My friends and I would get together in the morning and make a vague plan of what the movie was gonna be. Then we'd go out and shoot it. There was no editing because, even though I knew how to edit and had a film editing machine, I was also lazy. Plus it was more fun the way we did it. When we needed a special effects scene I just told the actors to wait and did some "animation" with various toys and models. When the indicator showed we were almost out of film we'd make up an ending.

Here they are:

BUCK LAZERBREATH AND ROCKY COSMIC DISORDERS ON THE PLANET OF THE DINOSAURS

Note the impressive dinosaur animation effects influenced by the work of Ray Harryhausen and Willis O'Brien!

BUCK LAZERBREATH AND ROCKY COSMIC DISORDERS MEET THE SPACE NAZIS

I apologize to anyone who is offended by the Space Rabbi and his Bar Mitzvah gun. We were teenagers in WASP-y Wadsworth, Ohio. What did we know? Don't miss my cameo as the guy who hands Rocky the Instant Space Rabbi potion!

AIRPLANE 1979

This parody of the "Airport" films was done long before the movie "Airplane!" So there! I should sue. Sorry you can't read the title cards. They were blurry to begin with and YouTube compressed them to nothingness. Note the magnificent special effects inspired by the work of Irwin Allen!

IKO MAN AND STUD MAN MEET THE EVIL DOCTOR CHAIN REACTION

I didn't know anything about lighting. This was shot on a typical overcast Ohio day and, as a result, it's hard to see what's going on in a good deal of the film. I've tried to correct this a little.

INVASION OF THE JANITOR PEOPLE

This is the only one of our films with an actual girl in it. Tim Brown knew one and got her to appear. God we were a bunch of nerds! Note my small role as the scientist who comes up with a way to defeat the Janitor People.

VOYAGE TO THE OUTER SPACE TREK

My friend Dale Houston and I were the only ones available the day we did this one. So we each operated the camera when the other one was on screen. Note the amazing special effects influenced by the work of Douglas Trumball and John Dykstra. The control panel on the space ship is actually my effects board from my guitar and a Korg synthesizer.

DIMENTIA 13 "WE ARE"

This has nothing to do with the other films. It's my band Dimentia 13 on a public access cable show in Chicago in 1988 called The Friday Club. The song is from our debut album released by Midnight Records in 1985 or '86 ("our" is a misnomer since I played all instruments on that record). Note the dates all you other bands called Dimentia 13 and Dementia 13! (I once had an e-mail exchange with the leader of one of the other Dimentia 13's who told me Francis Ford Copola, director of the film Dementia 13, contacted him because he'd heard about his band. No, he'd heard about my band. We were the ones with 5 albums out, dude.) That shirt was made of polyester and felt awful to wear. That's my real hair, although I didn't usually tease it up like that.

None of us here are Asimov's Mule, but we'd be willing to pitch in for a movie AND donate free students from the Film School if Michael Bardan and Brad Warner would burry the Zen Axe (in Hollywood's Ass), produce all their movies in Bollywood, and promise NO MORE FUCKING BAD LANGUAGE, CLEAN UP MICHAEL'S MOUTH WITH HOLY WATER, WE BEG FOR MERCY!

i wonder if someone bookmarks this comments section and puts it on eBay like that guy who put Romania up for sale on eBay back in the day would be able to raise enough money for an initial pre-angel round.

in private life he has been hospitalized in various world famous mental wards and once he jerked off on the metal door that had him "locked" in isolation room at San Luis Obispo State Mental Hospital. [you should see that movie on surveillance video]

in professional life, his accomplishments are hiring 2 people.

both of them still work at johnson controls, one at their center of excellence in simi valley (where king rodney was tried) and one in beijing, china (where he settled down after travelling the world over in various finance & auditing responsibilities).

in other words, his intution is good when it comes to picking people with staying power and know how to get things done.

he has an msba in management and entrepreneurship from a top 25 graduate business school in the nation, is 1 degree of separation from every worth his salt venture vulture in sandy eggo and largely doesn't give a shit about money whatsoever.

michael bardan starring in "el prezidente" means the space program money goes into artificial honey bee making, because the bees have surrendered on jan 17, 2oo1 when "love malpractice" movie started filming at a descartes theater near you, but were too stupid to notice!

A La Mesa psychotherapist surrendered her counseling license amid allegations that she coerced an 8-year-old rape victim into falsely identifying her

From the San Diego Union-Tribune of March 21, 1996, via FatherMag.com

A La Mesa psychotherapist facing state disciplinary hearings has surrendered her counseling license amid allegations that she coerced an 8-year-old rape victim into falsely identifying her father as the attacker. Kathleen King Goodfriend was accused by government regulators of being "grossly negligent or incompetent" in her treatment of the child, Alicia Wade.

The California Board of Behavioral Science Examiners said that "pressure" by Goodfriend over a period of 13 months finally led the girl to falsely accuse her father.

As a result, her father, James Wade was arrested, charged and faced 16 years in prison. Alicia was nearly placed for adoption. Alicia's mother, Denise Wade attempted suicide. Authorities overlooked DNA evidence which proved the father had not assaulted his daughter and disregarded a suspect already convicted of attacking other girls in the neighborhood.

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/work practice: click my blogger photo, view full size (with Windows Photo Gallery (default)), put your mouse cursor on the zoom button bottom left, when the slide pops up, grab it vigorously and zoom it all the way out then all the way back in. do that hysterically faster and faster and see how it makes you feel.

then imagine doing that while dashing out for your door and go the hell out there and have some fun in the woods by the river of life somewhere.

remember: you never step foot in the same river twice and you can always return home as long as you understand home is somewhere you've never been before.

i won't be around for a while, but you may see me sitting at hill street with braddy-chan once in a blue moon if you're lucky.

you know where to find me, if you need anything.

sodeska,mB)

PS: lemme guess, you use linux and can't zoom the way i do? yet another reason to switch the the all-around superior OS, window:z vista!-)

Furthermore the fight scene between the small man and unfortunate animal in the first piece was gratuitous in the extreme and I question your publishing such filth to your site when you know full well that impressionable young Buddhists of impeccable virtue (such as Bhikkhu Bardan) visit here regularly.

Please take your audio visual tantrism to a cheap motel and leave us here to quietly discuss the finer points of our gentle and peaceful faith.