Hi, I am new to this message board. I have been going through alot, and finally found peace that I want to share. My name is Margaret, and I've unsuccessfully been trying to have a baby for about 8 years now. I adopted my daughter Allison 5 years ago, and she's the love of my love. However, I've still been struggling with myself over the fact that I couldn't give my husband a child of our own. Ironically, I heard this song playing in my car the other day and it's called "Infertility/No Less Than a Woman" (I think it's on a newly released album called Walk Out). It's a song by a dancehall reggae artist named Lady Saw, and the words were so moving that I had to pull the car over because I was crying so hard. A couple of the lines that really moved me said "Not having a child does not make me no less than a woman/Cause I've got so much love to give...so much unwanted kids" I feel like that's my new anthem! I feel so empowered! I looked her up, and Lady Saw has had 2 miscarraiges, and has adopted 3 children. I think she's a positive role model for women like us, and I'm so glad she was able to put her feelings into a song we can all relate to. I will always have that void in my heart, but I can't let that tie me down because I have a lovely husband, daughter and career. Let this be a message to all of us women! We are all no less of a woman!!!

Hi Browneyes72,
Thank you for sharing that song with us. It is so weird how song can sometimes be speaking to just you. The other day I broke down because AF showed her ugly face again and my husband is really out of words. He doesn't know what to say that would help and it breaks his heart to see me in pain. I'm sure he is feeling the same way. Well, the next morning I got in my car to go to work I found a note on my seat that said I don't know what to say to you when you are hurt, but I can tell you through a song. As I turned on my car a song played I never heard before from the artist John Mayer. The hook says "pain throws your heart to the ground, but love turns the whole thing around. I know the heart of life is good." Although I was in tears once again they were tears of hapiness to know my beautiful husband believes our love will get us through these hards times.

Your words also touched me Browneyes72 and I had a few questions for you if you do not mind sharing. We have been trying for 2 years 6 mos. and are looking into either IVF or adoption. I'd love to learn about your adoption process. Did you adopt in the US or outside of the country? How old was your little girl when you adopted her? How long did it take?