Crawl Feature

Fall Crawl 2006

A musical night of epic proportions

By Laura Marrich and Marisa Demarco

Citizens of Earth! Nowhere in the great state of New Mexico do some many local and national music acts converge in one bustling metropolitan hub, on a single heroic night. We call it "crawling," and its never been more action-packed! Buy one flat-rate wristband ($10 in advance, $15 day-of-show) and you'll gain access to six hours of original, live performances this Saturday, Aug. 26.

Thanks to a combination of unusually wet weather and a shortage of overtime Albuquerque Police Department officers, our usual Fifth Street outdoor stage wasn't looking like such a super idea. We've rendered it invisible for the time being, but rest assured, it will reappear for our next Crawl in the spring. We hope you'll still have a super time.

Vanquish Hunger!

Downtown is booming with the strongest, most diverse restaurant scene it’s ever enjoyed. Everything from enchiladas and burgers to fine dining and exotic fare are within easy reach of the Crawl venues. Thumb through the "Crawl Chow" capsules in this week's food section. You'll find a listing of every late-night dining establishment in the heart of Downtown, plus many that are just a short walk or drive from all the action.

Rescue Youth from the Clutches of Boredom!

You don't have to be a barfly to Crawl. Thanks our special all-ages Crawl venue, even under-21 music lovers can take advantage of Downtown's thriving music community. The Sunshine Theater (Central between First and Second Streets) will showcase the immense skills of Albuquerque hip-hop emcees and DJs, plus national headliners KRS-ONE and Saafir. Smoking and alcohol service will be available in segregated areas for those of legal drinking age.

Eliminate Headache and Credit Card Debt!

You'll save time and money by purchasing your Fall Crawl wristbands in advance. They are available for $10 at all Ticketmaster outlets (plus a service fee, www.ticketmaster.com), Natural Sound in Nob Hill (plus a service fee, 255-8295) and online here. Note that you can avoid paying a service fee by purchasing wristbands directly through the Alibi website. If you enjoy standing in line, day-of-show wristbands cost $15 and will be available at the Alibi Info Booth, Sunshine Theater and El Rey Theater on the night of the Crawl.

Fight Crime!

Your best line of defense is always to drink responsibly. No matter what happens, do not drive drunk. Don't allow anyone you know to drive drunk, either. Instead, check in to one of the many reasonably priced hotels that Downtown has to offer, call a cab or take the $5 JIT Shuttle (departs from Fourth Street and Central between the hours of 11 p.m. and 2 a.m.). All three are especially fun when you've been hitting the sauce. Some taxi numbers are:

Albuquerque Cab: 883-4888

Checker Cab: 243-7777

Yellow Cab: 247-8888

Giant Cab: 293-4222

Customize Your Crawl!

Once you're squared away on safely getting into the Crawl, scan the schedule of bands to see who's playing and where during each time slot. Next, cruise through the Fortress of Amplitude, an alphabetical listing of Fall Crawl 2006 performers. Listings are made up of general information about each musical act, including music genres, where to find them online and a brief superpowered bio.

Note that we've also provided a nifty Crawl map with clearly marked locations of participating venues, the Info Booth and parking. We'll be glad to answer any additional questions you might have at our Info Booth. Now ... to the Fortress of Amplitude!

The Fortress of Amplitude

Agency E
Genre:
Rock, rap, alternativewww.agencye.com
First rule of Agency E: You do not talk about Agency E.

AnesthesiaGenre: Metal, rock and rollwww.stickysthesia.comThese dudes just released their first album, which they titled Unfuckwithable. ’Nuff said.

August SpiesGenre: Indiewww.myspace.com/augustspiesThese secret agents opted to expand their business and work beyond the one month, though they kept the original name. You have to think about branding, you know?

The Big SpankGenre: Skawww.thebigspank.comSpank the Monkey comes combat-ready with vacuum attachments and a whip. But don't let that scare you. His band's stage antics are much milder—most of the time.

Bukue OneGenre: Hip-hopwww.bukueone.comFind him on a board or with a spray can in his hand, Bukue clearly walks on the side of the light, with strong midochlorians and potential talent with a light saber.

BurnTownGenre: Rock's rockwww.myspace.com/burntownnmSinger/guitarist Fabian's secret weapons are his ability to channel the fingers of nearly any great rock guitarist and the vocal cords of Axl Rose.

Caustic LyeGenre: Metalwww.thelye.comSpeedy and vicious, the Caustic Lye Four blast low-end frequencies and cold, acidic guitars to burn through do-gooders with enlightened aggression.

CharmedGenre: Folk rock duowww.two-charmed.comThese acoustic angels were sent down from heaven to charm the evil right off the planet. Few can resist their harmonic resonance.

CheopsGenre: Hip-hop, Latin, rapwww.myspace.com/cheopsdamanNew York-style rhymes and beats with a heart that's all New Mexico, Cheops can shit-talk his enemies into a smoldering pile of dust. Step right or be obliterated.

Coke Is Better with BourbonGenre: Garage, punk rockwww.myspace.com/cokeisbetterwithbourbon1Woe to the unsuspecting rube who falls prey to a drinking match with these rambunctious wrecking balls. Coke Is Better with Bourbon doesn’t technically have any super powers, but, man, can they drink! After taking a year off, they’re back to stabbing the liver of justice with all the alcoholic rock they can muster.

ColdSnapGenre: Alternative rockwww.coldsnapmusic.comHighly contagious, these snappy fellows use radioactive snot to infect Boy Scout types with the common cold. They are also active members of the Rocksquawkian tribe, a genius collective of those who ride the highest horses.

CreepshowGenre: Goth, punk, metalwww.creepshowrules.comThe beautiful but deadly Go-Go Destruction has the power to channel Glenn Danzig onstage, even though he’s not dead … yet. Beware her lovely howl, which can turn even the purest of heroes into villainous succubi.

Danny Winn and The EarthlingsGenre: Ska www.dannywinnandtheearthlings.comDespite their blatant attempts to fit in on this planet, Alibi intelligence has learned that Danny Winn and The Earthlings are actually from the planet Skank, in the galaxy Rudysia. Unable to see Earth colors, they dress exclusively in black and white garb and have developed an insatiable fondness for Earth candy. They hope to become legal aliens by Spring Crawl.

The Dirty NovelsGenre: Powerpop, rock, soulwww.thedirtynovels.comThe Dirty Novels made a time machine out of gorgeous fabric blends and Lou Reed's broken guitar strings. It's now their mission to travel through time, fighting crime and spreading love with their music. Secret weapons include ultra-tight jeans and a smattering of chest hair.

Dread Pirate HotchkissGenre: Chill-out, skip, skaSweet baby Jesus, will somebody put some pants on these guys? The Ministry of Freedom Rock has been trying to put a stop to this band of seemingly homeless brothers since the Great Mushroom Caper of 2003. So far, the Ministry’s efforts have been unsuccessful and will soon resort to Plan B: If you can’t beat ’em, well, turn it up, man!

Feels Like SundayGenre: Indie, alt.rockwww.feelslikesunday.netRepeatedly saving Dorkdom from its hip invasion, FLS shields fellow dorks from their lightning eyes with dark goggles and a friendly sense of fun.

Five Minute SinGenre: Southern rock, rockwww.fiveminutesin.comGentle giants or ferocious puppy dogs? The world may never know. The winners of this year’s “Best of Burque New/Emerging Band” prefer to rock first and ask questions later. Be prepared.

The FoxxGenre: Rock, glam, blueswww.the-foxx.comTo paraphrase the Shangri-Las (and, later, Johnny Thunders), they're good-bad, but they're not evil. In terms of talent, they’re off the charts. The Foxx bring cosmic glitter down to Earth with lip-dangling cigarettes and moves that would make James Brown weak in the knees.

The GiranimalsGenre: Indie, popwww.myspace.com/thegiranimalsThe Giranimals use sweet sounds, charm school manners and homemade baked goods to triumph over hooligans. Watch your language or they may decide to kick your heinie too.

The GracchiGenre: Punk, rock ’n’ rollwww.myspace,com/thegracchiJust one member of The Gracchi serves the forces of darkness, but nobody’s quite sure who that person is. Maybe you can figure it out.

The Ground BeneathGenre: Metal rockwww.thegroundbeneath.comIt's a tremor. It's an earthquake. No, it's the Ground Beneath! This super trio rumbles the earth with rolling drums and sweeping guitars, emerging from ... uh ... beneath adversaries to devour them whole like those crazy sandworms in that one movie.

Hit By A BusGenre: Alternative, rockwww.hitbyabus.netThis band of crimefighters' name was originally "Not Hit By A Bus," given by a gaggle of schoolchildren who were nearly flattened by an out-of-control bus. Our heroes raced across the universe to shove the kids out of its path, earning the moniker. The "Not" was lopped off for acronym purposes, leaving HBAB.

Inner ParlorsGenre: Indie, psychedelic, rockwww.myspace.com/innerparlorsExisting on another plane entirely, perhaps one with an extra couple dimensions, these aliens don't understand the concept of light and dark as defined in Earth terms, though the concept certainly amuses them.

The IsnessGenre: Alternative, hip-hop, rockwww.theisness.comThe Isness battle hypocrisy, ageism and elitism through “hiphopunkadelia,” which is kind of like musical kung-fu for mutants. It is what it is.

The Jenny Gamble TrioGenre: Folk rock, AmericanaA tried and true crusader for local music, Gamble's at the ready with her organizational powers and her firm belief in Albuquerque's talent. Add that to her own sizzling skills, and this homespun songstress is set to impress.

KRS-ONEGenre: Hip-hopwww.krs-one.comHe descends from a stormy sky. "Knowledge Reigns Supreme Over Nearly Everyone," he intones, ready to energize any battle with his Boombap maneuver, a rap so fierce it drenches warriors in chilly sweat. Harnessing the powers of the hardcore and the politically conscious, sucka emcees best not step to the Blastmaster, the title he worked for in the battlefield that is constantly referenced by his successors.

Le Chat LunatiqueGenre: Gypsy swingwww.myspace.com/lechatlunatiquethebandIt's the crazy mustaches that really place these knaves on the side of the heinous, though a set with them is the most fun wicked offers.

Long Gone TrioGenre: Rockabilly, swingwww.longgonetrio.comThis threesome doesn’t look threatening, but they can put foes in a dance trance with their hypnotic rockabilly boogies quicker than you can say, “It’s a bird!” They’ll do it for hours as long as you keep feeding them PBR.

Lousy RobotGenre: Indie, pop, alternativewww.lousyrobot.comDuring times of heightened stress, Lousy Robot can communicate with animals. They just don’t realize it yet.

The MindySetGenre: Indie, pop, rockwww.themindyset.comRumor has it that if you play The MindySet’s A Sugared Mind LP backwards, you can hear John Lennon describe the transcendental nature of a honeydew melon. This has led to some speculation that The MindySet is actually a team of British secret agents. It’s also boosting their album sales by 300 percent.

Oktober PeopleGenre: Indie, rock, shoegazewww.oktoberpeople.comWeather patterns, trees, rocks and owls all reside under the direct care of the Oktober People. Their allies include Captain Planet and Dr. Carl Sagan. They also guard the secrets of sublimation, condensation and turning liquids into solids.

Old Man ShatteredGenre: Modern alternativewww.oldmanshattered.comLike Not Hit By A Bus (see above), these beefy protagonists were originally called Old Man NOT Shattered after they saved a frozen elderly man from ruin when he was pushed out the window of a second-story ice cream shop.

Pilot to Bombardier Genre: Indiewww.pilottobombardier.comAll hail the great Pilot, gracious enough to return to the 505 stages (though some members never really left). It’s a reunion of comic-bookian proportions. Expect scene compatriots at their long-awaited reunion Crawl show, melodies, hooks and a touch of the odd experiment.

Rage Against Martin SheenGenre: Spoof punkwww.rageagainstmartinsheen.comIt's a long-standing quest for vengeance against one of many Sheens that burns in the bellies of these antiheroes.

Romeo Goes To HellGenre: Two-car garage rockwww.romeogoestohell.comThis fearsome fivesome met when Rexx Ruthless spiked the chocolate syrup at a church ice cream social. They haven't been the same since. Romeo Goes to Hell gets all their power amulets (which include shrinky-dinks, T-shirts, buttons and patches) from I Heart Machine (www.iheartmachine.com).

Ryan McGarveyGenre: Blues, classic rockwww.ryanmcgarvey.comYoung Ryan McGarvey got his chops as “Guitar Boy,” an apprentice and sidekick under the legendary “Guitar Dude.” Ryan McGarvey owes his unmatched stage stamina to his magic RPMguitar strap and Taos Cow ice cream. He also holds the record for longest continuous guitar lick while impressing girls in a music store.

SaafirGenre: Hip-hopwww.myspace.com/saafirOakland birthed a hunchback—and a fine-looking one, at that. Using his skills in the Digital Underground, he surfaced again in ’94 with his debut, Boxcar Sessions. He's trying to be "a hero with zero," he says. Still, he's idolized by many a head for his cutting freestyle.

Scenester Genre: Rockwww.socyermom.com/scenesterScenester isn't above extracting top-secret information by sleeping with the enemy--in fact, they prefer it that way. Keep an eye out for Scenester's evil mojo, which they store in beer bottles lined at the foot of the stage during performances.

Scream MachineGenre: Garagewww.myspace.com/screammachinefromabqThis mechanism was assembled by the supervillains who used to dwell on Cloud 9 From Outer Space. This maquiña yowls in a way we're not familiar with yet, given its shiny newness and lack of accessible recorded tracks.

Sin SerenadeGenre: Country, rockwww.sinserenade.comFounders of the Sinners Unite Symposium (SUS), a collection of the funniest batch of bad guys you ever did see.

Speed OneGenre: Hip-hopwww.myspace.com/11809427Call him Mr. Backbone, this guy's been feeding on a steady diet of Albuquerque mics for ages. He's more than ready to heat up the side stage for granddaddy Blastmaster at the Crawl with his 505 flow and mounted cannons.

Stan HirschGenre: Blues, whatever he damn feels likewww.stanhirsch.comStanton (or Stan, for short) Hirsch is revered as a blues superstar in Japan, but that don't make no nevermind to him. Superpowers including being able to fold his 6-foot-5 frame into tiny pockets of space, which he has to do—frequently--in Japan.

SuperGiantGenre: Psychedelic, stoner rock, riff rockwww.super-giant.comIt's a little-known fact that the FuzzRevolution of 2005 was incited by the musical dissidents known as SuperGiant. With the strength of a giant fire-breathing robot, these evil Casanovas use their silky, luxurious manes to whip their foes into a state of psych-rock hysteria.

The Surf LordsGenre: Surf rockwww.surflords.comThough only one of these guys actually knows how to surf, the Lords are likely to be the heros of any beach scene with tunes that hang-ten and lovely dancing ladies.

Unit 7 DrainGenre: Synthy avant rockwww.myspace.com/unit7drainGood or evil? This crew knows neither, though some who carry a Drain badge have distinctive vampiric tendencies.

Unusual Content Genre: NuMetalwww.myspace.com/unusualcontent"This beverage seems to contain contents of unknown origin, perhaps radioactive," said the drummer thoughtfully one day before guzzling the glass down. Results? When he's feeling pleased with, say, a beautiful afternoon in the park, he grows large, turns green and finds himself ripping trees from the manicured lawn.

Winterlock Genre: Metalwww.winterlock.comKnown for polar screams icy enough to frost over your windshield on a midsummer's day, Winterlock fights the frigid fight in favor of rock, justice and the American way.

Zack FreemanGenre: Beatbox-based hip-hop folkwww.ialonemusic.netCaptain Freeman uses his Power of 1,000 Voices to layer a cappella loops that overpower and educate his enemies. With nothing but his superpowered vocal cords and trusty sampler, the good captain generates profound sounds to astound the ignorant.

The DJ Lair of Doom and Justice

DJ 12 TribeSpins: Hip-hop, neo-soul, R&B, reggae

After being lost in the desert on a horse with no name, DJ 12 Tribe once united a dozen warring factions of Bedouins in peace after one electrifying night on the turntables. DJ ChurchSpins: ’80s, disco, electroclash, industrial, tranceThis DJ's house of worship is more like a temple ... a temple of love, to be exact. Let the minions flock!DJ CodebreakerSpins: To find out, use your Alibi decoder ring on the following: ”Selur Rekaerbedoc JD.”DJ Devin:Spins: ’80s, commercial dance, hip-hop, houseA mad scientist by trade, DJ Devin mixes ominous-sounding chemicals into delightful, easily digestible musical brews.DJ EdgeSpins: Dance, hip-hop, top 40The chief export of DJ Edge is sharpness. DJ EveSpins: Brit-pop, electroclash, soulContrary to popular belief, DJ Eve does all her own stunts. The correct spelling of her name is actually L-U-V.DJ GSpins: Top 40One letter. G. Be afraid. DJ HalcyonSpins: Jazz fusion, reggae, otherThe last words you may ever hear could come from this man's mouth. “Beats, love and harmony, baby.” Justin Case:Spins: House, old-school hip-hop and R&B, top 40The evil clone of Justincredible. There's no way to tell them apart except for a tiny birthmark on one of their left butt cheeks.JustincredibleSpins: Old-school hip-hop and R&BThe heroic clone of Justin Case. Don't ask to see his butt. It's really starting to bother him.DJ KiqueSpins: ’80s, commercial dance, electro-house, hip-hop, houseDJ Kique destroys his foes by holding them captive on the dancefloor until they slip on their own sweat and pass out. Pretty nifty.DJ NobleSpins: Hip-hopwww.myspace.com/djnobleOne of the warriors in the fight against the typical, Noble spins heads and beats in our own Nukecity. DJ ScientificSpins: Underground hip-hopDJ Scientific has been battling robots, mutants and other cyborgs for 10 years on 89.9 KUNM's “Street Beat” (Fridays 11 p.m.-2 a.m.), quite possibly the best live-mix music show—hip-hop or otherwise--on the airwaves. Special tools include a hand-held viscometer and a bottomless crate of mesmerizing hip-hop, beats and breaks. DJ Sweet P and Pat the MackSpins: Top 40 hip-hop, top 40 rock

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy--it is a DJ Sweet P- and Pat the Mack-tatorship.