Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Mayo Clinic

I pondered that question today as I found myself walking down the street carrying nothing but this jar of mayonnaise.

It just seemed lewd, seedy. Not wholesome and optimistic, like milk or peanut butter. Not embarrassing but necessary, like toilet paper. But just plain weird. Mayonnaise.

I imagined a tidy elderly couple driving by me on the road, the woman spotting me, looking closer, furrowing her brow. She turns back to her beloved Henry (behind the wheel, wearing freshly ironed khakis and a turtleneck) and asks, "Now what could that strange girl be doing with that jar of mayonnaise?"

He turns to see what she's talking about, spotting me. He just shakes his head sadly. "I just don't know, Myrtle. I just don't know." The car speeds off to safety.

The reason was obvious enough to me: Steamed artichokes. I'm down in Portland today and have come into possession of beautiful artichokes. I went to steam them and discovered - horrors - that I had no mayonnaise. All the corner market offered was this jar of dubious brand-I've-never-heard-of-before stuff, so that's what I got.

How do you eat your artichokes? Do you steam and dip them in mayo? Squeeze a little lemon over them? Perhaps add a dab of horseradish? Yogurt? An oil-and-vinegar marinade? Anything else I should try?

OK, this is good. Melted butter with garlic. Melted butter with lemon. Melted butter with garlic AND lemon. A homemade vinaigrette. Minh, your suggestion (on lobster and shrimp) brings a welcome touch of France to my table. Madame Maigret is always making lobster with mayonnaise for lunch in George Simenon's mysteries. And I'll have to try dipping fries in mayo too. I like tartar sauce, so it's really not that far off, but probably a much more pure taste. Yum! Thank you for the inspiration!

I must confess....I have never eaten a fresh artichoke. I've eaten the ones in little jars, you know, chop up for a salad or dip. But never a fresh one. I don't know if I've even seen one at my local grocer. Hmmm, I'll add it to my list. LJ