Thursday, September 14, 2017

Waiting -

Remember the days of dial-up internet? Waiting and waiting and waiting - for the phone line to be available, for the connection to be made, for the computer to accept, for information to load?

My husband - he'll tell anyone who asks that he waited for me for 16 years, and that the waiting was worth every minute. After being together me for 13.5 years though, he still does a fair share of waiting. For example:

Waited for me this morning as I showered and got ready for work, prior to us eating breakfast.

Waited for me in the car (I'll just warm the car up, hon) while I gathered all my materials for the day.

He takes me to work (I love that time with you), which means he waits a few minutes more to begin his day.

He'll pick me up from work, take me to job #2 (UVU), and for sure he'll wait when picking me up after classes tonight - there's always a student or two who want to talk after class . . .

He waits for me when I stroll rather than hurry; he waits for me when I visit with someone rather than scurrying right out the door; he waits for me to check emails before he can read the latest news.

And the list goes on.

He usually has a book or a radio, which makes the waiting more tolerable.

He's a patient man.

But then, what does patience look like?

Is it the waiting, is it the learning to wait, is it being at peace with the waiting?

So I've always been told I'm impatient. "Ronda, just be patient." "Ronda, slow down so others can catch up," etc., but then I think about the waiting I do in a day -

Wait for patients to arrive (often late).

Wait while patients share their stories.

Wait with patients.

Wait for doctors, nurses, medical staff.

Wait for students.

Wait with students.

And I've learned how to be peacefully present while waiting.

I have to be present while I'm patient. I wish I could have a book with me, but no.

More than Scott being patient with me, and me being patient with others, I'm learning how to be patient with myself. Time - being is a good place; being present, available, aware, engaged, or not, waiting is not an evil.

"I waited for you for 16 years," takes on a new definition, when understanding that waiting is letting the path unfold, in front of us, with no idea what the future is to bring. Being in the moment, living for today, trusting the process, having joy in the being.

About Me

I am 59 years old, healthy, eating right, working out, no history of cancer in my family, yet I was diagnosed with breast cancer on Thursday, Sept. 6, 2012. This blog will be the tale of my journey to and through breast cancer. With some ramblings along the way!