given up

my dad threw a bucket at me and i hit him he then threw me to the ground and kicked me, i got up pushed him into the wall said i hope he dies and ran out of the house. i walked around the neighborhood for awhile went to my neighbor kori but her dad said she wasnt home i walked around more and went to eliza but she wasnt home. im back at home only to find him attacking me more. i went in my room cut and cried. theres a burning sensation in my arm and it feels good. i dont know what to do i just wanna run away i cant take it here anymore i just want to leave.

ive delt with it almost all my life ever since i was little he stoped cause i told my 7th grade counciler he knows im not afraid to tell anyone so he stoped did it every now and then but lately its been an everyday thing. plus right now i have no one to tell

Hey FH October is a lifetime away when you're being abused. If you can't go to any authority figure, then please get some help for yourself. Find some counseling or support group. You may be able to leave in October, but the abuse will come with you. Get the help you need now so that the "wounds" don't turn into scars. My sixteen year old son is dealing with the same thing when he goes for visitation with his dad. This past week, he got physical with his dad for the first time. It scared the crap out of his old man, but it also changed my son sort of. Please consider doing something for yourself.