Everything you need to know about running and life and any other random crap I find bouncing through my mind like a ping pong ball. And always be sure your shoes are happy.

That is not what happened.

What really happened is that Dog was under her desk and he farted. A lot. It was like tornado sirens except it was only smell and no sound. WAAAAaaaaOOOOOOOOoooo WAAAAaaaaaOOOOOOOOoooooo

I kept trying to tell her he was going to fart but she kept saying you’re so funny little cat playing with me on my desk! But I wasn’t playing I was trying to tell her that she needed to run, run for her life because I saw him eating that stuff out of the garbage can and I knew that it was going to be really really bad. I am a highly evolved animal with a highly evolved sense of smell so I know these things. But humans are pretty simple creatures so it’s difficult to communicate with them at times. They’re so cute though. I keep them around just because they’re so cute, despite the fact that they are hard to train and they don’t listen well, and they have the sense of smell of a baby carrot. So after she fainted from the dog’s farts I tried to carry her to safety but since she took me to Petco and got all my daggers – meh, I mean claws, sorry – cut all short I could not pull her away so it served her right.

Anyway, she’s so cute, out there in the den watching Biggest Loser and cheering them all on, I thought while she was distracted I’d set the record straight.