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10 April, 2013

I, Saturday

I'm going to try and not recycle an old post
(my first post, actually) of mine mostly because it was written maybe a
year ago, as a Facebook status, then transplanted onto this blog when
it was created. I think I'm a bit different now than I was then.

Hoo, how's that for something to dwell on? "I am not now who I once
was," but I suppose that's the essence of today's letter-based
challenge, differentiating between then-me and now-me. I very much enjoy
the act of looking back and seeing how far I've come, but one of the
things I need to learn is not to look for too long.

I want to be able to look back on this in a year and say something to
the effect of "Wow, look at how much has changed since then! I can
scarcely believe that this man and I are one and the same." With that in
mind, I think I'll begin making the benchmark to compare.

As of this writing, I have kept up with the A-to-Z Challenge, something I
didn't think I'd actually be able to do. Not only have I kept up with
it, I've met some interesting people. Granted, I haven't had an
opportunity to comment back, due to my phone not liking the comment
process, but it's coming. I promise I will get back to everyone who has
commented on my blogs so far.

As of this writing, I am scared by quite a number of things. I really do
think that when I finish my book, people are going to think it's all
bullshit. I know that I'm probably not going to get it all right on the
first try; that nothing I do will ever be perfect, but the whole process
is startlingly overwhelming. To complicate things, I don't know any
writers offline. I have no one to hold me accountable to my writing.

I am also afraid that I'm not going to make enough money to move to
Arizona this fall. I don't want to live through another Maine winter. I
don't think I can, as I was so miserable, so cold, colder than I had
ever been before, and I've lived in Maine my whole life! The best I can
do to solve this one is to find ways to not spend so much money and/or
find ways to earn more.

(Hah! Random interesting thought: If I were a celebrity, I could have a kickstarter. "Help Dy Saturday move to Arizona!")

There are more, but those are my two biggest fears. To make up for the
fears, some things I'm impressed by include the fact that I'm keeping up
with the challenge, something I thought I wouldn't be able to do; I
have the love of a beautiful woman (Day M), and ideas for the novel (and
it's sequels) are rapid-flowing. More on that last one on Day T. I'd
give a specific day for talking about the challenge, but I suppose
that's every day, right?

Here's where I become verbose, so I'll end it now. I may have to, once
the challenge is over, return to some of these topics and expand upon
them. I, apparently, have a lot to say.