T-pisode 110: The Heart, The Mind & The Penis

"Sometimes the little head tells the big head what to do." -A Bronx Tale

Ladies. This T-pisode is for you. I’m going to let you in behind the guy wizard curtain one more time! I’m on this whole dating advice kick lately and I’m going to keep the momentum going! Do you want to know how us guys think when it comes to women? Seriously. Forget what you think you know. Unlearn those life dating and relationship lessons. Clear your minds ladies. Here’s how guys think when it comes to women in our lives. Ready? We think with our heart, our mind and our penis. Sometimes it’s just one. Sometimes it’s two. Sometimes on the rare occasion it’s all three. Here’s how we do it and the difference between the three.

Let’s start with the penis of course!

The PenisThis is obvious. Mr. Winky 9 out of 10 times tells us what to do when it comes to women. The bastard has a mind of it’s own and it’s power sometimes is overwhelming. Our penis is tied to your physical attraction. Straight up. It notices and wants your boobs, your ass, your lips, your legs, your eyes, your hair and mostly, your vagina. It doesn’t want to date. It doesn’t want to love. It doesn’t want to marry. On it’s own the penis wants some immediate joy and then to be done with you. He’s a little fucker! Pun intended. He’s even more of a prick when he’s drunk. But he’s what makes us men and let’s not bullshit. Women love penis. Act all “ewww” and shit. But you know it. I know it. We all know it. He sees you and wants you and that’s that. He usually gets the ball rolling for us guys. We start most conversations with women because of him. But remember ladies, just because you get the penis doesn’t mean you’re special. We give the penis before we think sometimes. And we definitely give the penis way before we give our hearts.

The MindHow do you know you’re in a guy’s head? I’ll tell you! You’re in my head/every dude’s head when I listen to you. When I pay attention. When I hear and see the things you like to do and say and figure out a way to make that happen for you. Whether it’s a small gesture. A planned out date. A vacation destination. A gift. A birthday. Anything that has me thinking about you and how to make you happy and to keep you liking me. You’re in my mind. You stimulate it. Most likely along with my penis! ZING. No seriously. You speak. I listen. A conversation with you makes me want to tell you things about me. We have an intellectual connection. Not just the physical. This is a good thing. If I’m listening and showing it, you got the mind honey.

The HeartMost of the time, the heart is the hardest thing for a guy to give to a woman. But honestly? It’s a case by case basis. Like most guys, I’m not throwing it out there for every chick I meet. Every chick I date. Every chick I bang. Plus, my heart is even colder than most guys. But in general, you have a guy’s heart when it’s only you. There is no other woman. And I/we will let you know that. You’re the one we call not just text. You’re the one we want to see. You’re the one we want to be with. And it WILL BE KNOWN. To you. A hotter chick walks by, I don’t see it. I see you. The game is on, I skip it to be with you. You will know who I am, where I come from and where I’m going because I want you to know. I trust you. I want you to care because I care. You have my heart. No games. No bullshit. You have a guy’s heart when he lets you know you’re the only one, a priority above everything else and you know it. BUTTTTT!!!! Here’s the rub. If you don’t have his mind as well, you don’t have him entirely. What the hell does that mean you say?! Of course you have the penis at this point. But you can have my heart and I can still think you’re drama. I still know you’re psycho. I see that you are mean to people. My mind is thinking! I still think there is another woman out there who is better for me because even though I have feelings for you, you’re not the one. My mind is stopping my heart. My penis is still loving the shit out of you though!

So. You need all three ladies to “get” a man. Again. I’m not talking sex. You’re a woman. You can get that easy! I’m not talking dating either. You can get dates. If you really want to know that point when you have a guy you’re into, you need to have all three from him. The penis, the mind and the heart. How do you know when you have all three? Well listen to ol’ T! Get closer. Closer. Ready? You know that moment when you’re together? In his bedroom. Maybe it’s the first time in there. Maybe it’s the tenth time. Maybe it’s been casual. Maybe it’s been serious. But that moment. In his bedroom. When you get up to leave to put your clothes back on and he pulls you back? Tells you not to go. Doesn’t want you to leave. Wants you to stay the night. Pulls you back into bed. Wraps his arms and legs around you. Just to sleep?! You got him. You got all three. You’re in my heart. I’m thinking about you now and if and when I’ll see you again so I need you to stay. And of course, my penis likes you. Really likes you. That’s how you know. Now it’s up to you now that you have them.

The Heart, The Mind & The Penis. How guys think. BOOM.

Until next time. Always take it there.

T

Did you like this T-pisode? Then you must like comedy, originality, cool lists, real talk, sports, dating, women and awesomeness? So why aren’t you liking T-blawg on Facebook and following on Twitter? Show that you are awesome and click the “Like” & “Follow” buttons in the blue bar to the left!

Related

Published by T

Post navigation

4 comments

T: While I know this not a manifesto for all men, I don’t agree with your last point. In my opinion, when a guy asks you not leave it means either (1) it’s a cold night (2) the sex is soo good, he want some again in the middle of the night and again in morning or (3) both.

Your analysis of the penis/mind/heart seems right on (you would know better than I do, since I’m a girl) and I definitely agree that you need all three!

Also, if I ever meet a guy who names his penis Mr.Winky, I may suddenly have a terrible headache!!