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Dad rules

I've got this friend who has just become famous. He is front-of-magazines famous. He is "I'm too big for England - I'm off to America" famous. I've had to drop him. To be honest, it has been easy. I've had several friends become famous on me, and the same thing always happens: they tell me not to speak to the press, then they stop calling.

The trouble is, I need him. I've written this book, Dirty Angels. It's a cross between Northern Lights and The Catcher in the Rye: the story of a confused teenager who sees angels flying through the city. I e-mail my friend and ask if he will do a jacket quote. I reckon he will. We used to be close. He just has to text me, "This book is fantastic", which it undoubtedly is - it's a fantasy book.