Reopened Imperial War Museum will “Get kids back into war just in time”

In a speech today at an East London school, defence secretary Michael Fallon has championed the recent re-opening of the Imperial War Museum in London, hoping that it will “get British kids back into war just in time”.

Arguing that fallout from the Israel–Palestine conflict and the Syrian crisis meant “there’s never been a better time to get into the exciting world of armed conflict”, Fallon hoped that if enough young people visited the newly opened museum, in 10 years time Britain would have an all new stockpile of kids ready to die in countries they had never heard of.

“We’re also hoping to get some celebrities on board” he added “to put some of the glamour back into state sanctioned killing. Fingers crossed for Russell Kane.”

A spokesperson for the museum explained that whilst a lot of care and thought had been put into the curation of the museum, “we’ve still put a couple of massive guns outside the main entrance to help younger visitors get all revved up and ready to ignore most of the text inside”.