Passing judgment on everything

From the archives: The toxic online blend

Why does all sense and reason go out of the window when it comes to being your virtual self? It’s like that advert for Axa insurance which says “You wouldn’t behave this way on foot so why would you do it when you’re driving?” Something happens to people when they don’t have to look someone in the eye or listen to their voice – they forget all the manners their parents taught them, they forget that every action has a reaction, and they forget to apply those behaviour filters that are developed over time to enable people to interact sensibly and rationally with each other. You know the ones, where you think a joke is funny but you are aware that it is slightly racially charged or sexually connotative, so you know not to tell it in public or to a group of people you have only just met. That’s your humour filter. Similarly, it helps you filter out all those jokes you do hear that aren’t funny and slightly offensive; the humour filter allows you not to react to it and just get on with your life safe and happy in the knowledge that the person who told it will most likely never marry or spawn and will eventually die out.

However, stick a screen between two people and some indeterminable geographical distance, give them anonymity and away they descend into pre-pubescent mudslinging, only with a dangerous mix of a learned vocabulary, a lifetimes worth of personal experience and prejudice, and some knowledge in their academic field. I’ve learned this week that this combination is a toxic reaction to the fusion of community members in the virtual world. Actually that’s wrong, I learnt this a while ago, but this week has been particularly filled with toxic moments or pure idiocy and malice in two of my communities this week.

I’ve had it all from various members this week, including lots of virtual stamping of feet in the form of ‘I don’t like what you did there, but instead of say that I’m going to threaten to withdraw from participating in your community’ and lots of noise in the form of private messages telling me ‘I told you so, didn’t I? Didn’t I tell you so?’ I’ve even had an offended member launch an attack on Twitter calling me toxic and accusing me of being on a power trip because I deleted their post, a post which was outside the rules.

We’ve also been stunned by the belief of two cohort members who had set up a private discussion group that we as the site owners wouldn’t have access to it! I mean come on; did they really think that we wouldn’t be able to see the group given that it’s on our platform? The mind boggles.

But what I am most surprised about as this week draws to a close is people’s inability to be reasonable, compassionate and forgiving as they hide behind their avatars. Each time I see a debate descend into utter madness I imagine the offending members sat in the pub and I wonder if they would be reacting to each other in the same way as they do online, and the short answer is no, of course they wouldn’t! When you look into someone’s eyes you can see the person inside, you can gauge their current age and make reasonable assumptions about what kind of life they might have had. You can hear the sound of their voice and listen to the intonation and true intention of what they say; this gives you an understanding of what they really mean and aids informed conversation. But strip all those other signals away and you’re left with miles of room for misunderstanding and a sure-fire scenario where people get pissed off and sound off.

I wonder at the beginning of each week what will happen next in the communities, shortly followed by the realisation that it will be the same debates centring round the same few members and will almost definitely result in at least one threat of legal action and some form of moderation by the end of the week.