Within minutes, my daughter, Kendall, a Pepperdine University sophomore studying in Shanghai this school year, texted me to ask if I had heard that “a bunch of Pepperdine students” had been there.

“It’s like a super popular place, too — like I’ve been there,” she said. “Super scary.”

At that point, it really struck close to home. My son, Keaton, a junior journalism major at Oklahoma Christian University, had the same feeling. He expressed his emotions in a must-read opinion column (full disclosure: I’m his father, so perhaps I’m biased) that he wrote for his campus newspaper, The Talon.

“She had such an infectious smile. Her light will shine on, we will be sure of it.” @pepperdine President Andrew Benton speaking to us after a prayer service. Family confirming freshman Alaina Housley was one of the 12 people killed at #Borderline last night. @ABC7pic.twitter.com/W1ellWR0QZ

Sadly, enough of these mass shootings have occurred that we know part of what we can expect. That includes community prayer vigils and emotional funeral services where — in most cases — spiritual reflection and language will be emphasized.

In the meantime, I’ll refer you to these parting words in my son’s column that I referenced earlier:

For the first time in years, I cried this morning. I thought about the sight of the innocent people at this bar being viciously murdered. I thought about their parents, girlfriends, wives and spouses receiving the horrible news that they would never speak, see or hold their loved ones ever again. I thought about parents having to plan the funeral of their child.

If you are a pro-gun person, speak up. If you are an anti-gun person, speak up. If you offer a solution which compromises between the two sides, speak even louder. This country needs answers more than it ever has before. Just remember to be respectful, courteous and empathetic to everyone you encounter. If you say something on social media you would never say in person, you are doing things wrong.

If the American people remain apathetic—distracted by video games, sports, work obligations, homework and movies—nothing will change, and more people will die. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want that guilt on my conscience.