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Topic: Fearless Captain's Manifesto (Read 606 times)

Three years and a half years ago I joined devolved and that when the true meming started. It goes back farther than that though. When I was just 12 years old Robby came to my house and gave me a copy of gmod and said that it would one day come to be a true meme that not even the greatest memesters of the day could know the depths of. Only looking back could I see the waves that faithful day would cause. Some say that the seismic waves are still felt by the most sensitive meme detectors. If a meme detector goes off then you know when a meme is coming. This is the story of that meme and the people that are memed every day.

After Robby gave me the Golden Gmod I knew that I would have to expose him one day. One that faithful day when robby was runned over with a car by a mysterious stranger we were all shocked and saddened but what was never revealed was who was driving the other car. Today I break my silence and talk exculsively to www.devovled.us news team. Only this group of people were made of the highest caliber memestuff to handle the truth. I was the one that was driving that 1993 Ford Explorer that smashed that shit out of Robby. I did it on purpose to get revenge for the memes that he exposed me to. When I was first memed I knew that I would become a meme murderer. If a true meme could come to my meme store then what could a meme do to my mem shield? That is the true root of modern meme theory. When I killed Robby I also was the only one to hear his last words, "All the hay that he buys is already bailed. It's in a stack, and he just buys the stack." Even to his last breath he was a meme master that not even I, the Chosen Meme, could re-meme that meme. This leads us to the heart of my Manifesto. All memes are fake until proven to be a true meme.

When we get memed a receptor in the brain lights up with meme juice and fills the brain with memey thought, This is why memes spread across the internet at a speed unheard of until the modern era. These days, people have larger and more receptors than any other time in history. If a meme was memed then it turns into a double meme and so on and so forth. But to understand why memes are do potent now, we have to go back, To the Beginning. To before the Beginning.

We find our memes on a sunny park bench in Philadelphia. Three homeless people are on their phones browsing bodybuilding.net, home of the original meme. Things seem peaceful, tranquil even. This is all disturbed when all three homeless stumble upon the same meme that The Great Meme Father left for us to discover. It was only meant for one person to see because when someone sees it they leave their mortal bodies and ascend to a higher planar form. But when three saw this Great Meme at the same time, a Meme Tornado was formed which destroyed much of the Eastern Seaboard. This was later attributed to Obama saying "Thanks Obama" at his final farewell speech by many meme historians but this is simply wrong. While it would have been possible for a top level master memester (which Obama was) to create a meme tornado but not of the scale that we saw on the day. With much of the world contaminated with Meme Radiation from the Tornado, humanity had to evolve or die. All humans grew new meme receptors to survive the meme particles. After several decades of war, famine, and disease. A great Scientist name Robby invented the Meme funnel which brought meme levels back to pre meme Spout (as the Tornado was called by many). But in his work with memes Dr. Robby James McRobbinson Esq. VIII was twisted by the Deep Memes he was exposed to. With his meme warped mind he founded a community of the memeist game of all time, TTT.

Now it is all clear why the memes got to him. He was memed from the start.