Southern Fried Humor

We like big hair here in the South. Much to my chagrin, however, I have not yet seen big, frizzy hair become fashionable. So where does that leave frizzy-haired ladies like me? The lengths we will go to at times to obtain that illusive shiny sleekness is pure. T. cuh-razy. And you know what? I’m done with it. Tired of wasting precious time and money chasing after something that it appears I will never have. So, as the humidity creeps on up into the 90th percentile range this summer (all my frizzy haired friends can feel me on this one; we know EXACTLY where to look on Weather.com to find the hourly humidity), I propose a shift in attitude. Let’s stop all the fuss and worry and not give a hoot about our hair, even for one day this summer. Here’s our manifesto:

I will stop buying so many useless products. I just counted, and I have 45 bottles of various hair products under my bathroom sink. 45. Most of them I bought in the hopes that they would solve all of my hair woes, only to use them a few times and discover that they are just the same as any other product. They may help a bit, but they don’t magically get rid of the frizz. We have got to end this madness. It can be a huge money drain if you allow yourself to continue to buy and try, only to discard the product a week later. Instead of selling out to the marketers who make beautiful labels and say things we can’t resist (90% less frizz! Blocks humidity! Silk-ify your hair!), let’s pause a moment before tossing the latest-and-greatest into our shopping carts. I’m not saying don’t ever buy another product, but do your research before handing over your credit card. Read online reviews. Borrow from friends. Ask to try the product at the salon. Buy a smaller version before snapping up three bulk packages at Sam’s Club. You’re not doing yourself any favors by throwing your money down the drain on products that are mostly all the same.

I will not let fear of frizz stop me from enjoying myself. Fear of frizz can be truly unhealthy and paralyzing. Instead of spending dinner at a beachfront restaurant worrying that the salty air is ruining the sleek look that took us one hour, four separate smoothing products, two heat tools, and a can of hairspray to create, let’s actually enjoy the view, the food, and the company. The time that you spend agonizing over your hair is time that could be spent actually enjoying yourself. And anyway, folks who are confident look far more beautiful than someone who is self-conscious and constantly adjusting her appearance.

I will not drive to work/school/PTA meetings with a towel draped over my head. All you frizz-free people are scratching your heads. A towel over our heads? Oh yes. Raise your hand if you’ve done it. That towel is a humidity barrier, keeping your hairdo frizz-free until you arrive at your destination and whisk it off, stuffing it under your seat. If you are going to these kinds of lengths (whether it’s a towel or some other crayzay stunt), you are wayyyy overthinking things. There are more important things in life than frizz-free hair! Stop the dramatics and just drive.

I will discourage hair hating. We’re all in this together, folks.Don’t make nasty comments about others people’s hair. When others complain about their own hair “problems,” whether it’s frizz or something else, try to resist the urge to join in. Tell your friend they are beautiful with their hair just as it is. When we make negative hair comments, we are putting down ourselves and others and may be unknowingly creating hurt feelings and self-doubts. Frizzy-haired ladies would likely feel a lot more confident if we didn’t hear frizz being talked about negatively all the time!

I will embrace my frizz! Do it. Wear your frizzy hair out on the town and don’t care. Love your hair just the way it is. Biscuits will not burn and friends will not hate you. Whether you do it every day or just once, it’s incredibly freeing to know that you CAN!

Well, y’all may have noticed my absence on the blog the last couple of weeks…sorry and oops! Wes and I bought a house (!!!!) and have been moving and trying to sort our way through the mess of boxes (it seems like the boxes might be winning). Time for a nice Wedding Belles Internet Roundup to get me back in the swing of things. Today’s theme? Sassy Bride Edition. Here’s all the bridal sass I’m loving on the Internet lately:

Oh, what’s that I hear? You don’t understand how anyone can not love cool temperatures, falling leaves, sweaters, and boots? Well, I’ll tell you why. My nose is dripping and my toes are cold when I walk my dog in the mornings. My vitamin D level is probably getting dangerously low due to my lack of sun exposure. The pool is closed. This sweater is itchy. Summer vacations are over. Fresh blueberries, cantaloupes, tomatoes, zucchini, cherries, and strawberries are no longer in season. My skin is taking on a ghastly, ghost-y, pale-ish hue.

And what’s more, you fall lovers totally stole my season from me. Fall officially started on September 23rd. And yet, crazy folks everywhere were shoving fall-colored clothing and pumpkin spice lattes in my face practically by August 1st. My last blissful weeks of summer were co-opted by the fall fanatics’ antics.

And while we’re on the topic of pumpkin spice lattes…can we chat for a sec about how out of control pumpkin spice has gotten? Actually, I’m not even going to say anything, because this Buzzfeed article already said it for me.

Fall colors? Don’t even get me started. We all know burnt orange walks a fine line between artsy and vomit. Give me turquoise and coral any day over this depressing lineup of scarves and jackets walking down the street.

Just be gentle with me if I seem a little edgy when you start gushing for the 50 millionth time about how wonderful this so-called “crisp” air feels.

So, a long time ago, I had a blog. My love for writing short snippets and posting them for the entire world to critique goes way back, y’all. This was during my college days, when I was a public relations student at the UNC School of Journalism. I eventually deleted the blog when I discovered that I was not able to keep up with posting daily (or even weekly). At the time, I had been told by a professor that if I did not update my blog and/or social media accounts regularly, I would NEVER BE HIRED ANYWHERE. So clearly, the blog had to go.

I don’t even remember the name of said blog, but I’m sure it was a doozy. At any rate, I decided today to post one of my old blog posts so that people can enjoy (and hurl rocks) at it once more. This one was titled “Ways to Make Calories Not Count.” I assure you that it is very scientific.

Hello hello belles, and welcome to my latest roundup of favorite Internet articles! I’ve been wanting to share some of these for awhile now. All of today’s links feature real photos…some will make you laugh, and others just might make you a bit teary-eyed (yes, I cry over the wedding photos of folks I don’t even know from Adam). Here you go, belles, enjoy!

2. 5 Ways to Handle the Post-Wedding Blues: I hope this doesn’t happen to me, but if it does, I’m prepared! Too bad I’ve already done one of them pre-wedding…is there such a thing as Pre-Wedding Anticipatory Grief?