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It turns out many of the other kids had phones. The other lady in charge was shocked that Bob would react that way. She understood how important it is for parents to be able to contact their kids and that she felt cell phones were a great idea. She then apologised and said if I allow Savannah to go to the camp this summer she'll make sure she brings her phone. I feel slightly better,lol.

My 13yo dd is going to camp with the church. They'll be gone for three days and she is soo excited :-) I'm sure she'll have a great time but there's just one problem. No cell phones are allowed. I told her no problem, as long as she's able to borrow one and give me a call at night it'll be fine.

So when I dropped her off yesterday I sought out her youth leader to confirm that she'll be able to call me.

Me: Hey Bob, I understand that no cell phones are allowed but I need to make sure that Savannah call call me at night to check in.

Bob: Well...I hope that there are some pay phones near by.

Me: *Raises eyebrow* Why can't she borrow an adults cell phone?

Bob: Well you see we discourage phone calls because we want the kids to focus on God.

Savannah: I'm just going to be calling her at night.

Bob: Isn't God with you at night?

Me: I don't care where God is. There's no way I'm going to go three days without speaking to my daughter. Can she use a phone or not?

At this point Bob looks like I kicked his dog. The whole group goes silent.

I agree with your concept. Your approach could have been a bit nicer. Telling a Christian camp counselor you don't care about God is probably not a great idea.
But at the same time it is silly for them not to allow the kids to call home at night. I know that wouldn't sit well with me. Even when the kids are just with my mom, I still call once a day to check on them. Heck, my mom calls and checks on me at least every other day. That is just how our family works. :)

Regardless of her age, a rule that no child is allowed to contact their parents for the entire trip waves all kinds of warning flags. I can't comprehend what parent in their right mind would be okay with that.

Quoting TTC2Long:

Honestly, I think you were inappropriate. She's 13. Not 5. And they have those rules for a reason. Don't like it, don't send her, which would be pretty cruel, imo.

It was 3 days. I went to camp (religious and not) my whole life and never felt the need to talk to my parent every day. As a kid I would honestly been embarassed by your outburst. My kids have been going to (non-religous) camps for the last 4 years and they do not need to call me unless it is an emergency or they want to I would not be required for a call.

And yes that exactly what I planned on doing if I didn't get that phone call last night!

Quoting Veni.Vidi.Vici.:

It is not unreasonable for you to expect a phone call or that an adult would allow her to call you. If night one went by and I didn't receive a call I would be up there by day break, or perhaps 1:00 A.M. to pick up my kid. If I even let her go.

I freely admit that I have trust issues. I was raped and molested as a child right under my parents noses. I was put in tough situations, too. I remember vividly that adults that were supposed to keep my best interest in mind as lied to save their asses. If I even get a hint that a person who might have responsibility for my child doesn't respect my wishes I completely reconsider what I may have already agreed to.

It would be incredibly hard for me to find out on the day of the trip that my child wouldn't be able to contact me if he/she wanted to. Had I known in advance my answer to the trip would have been no.

It's pretty normal to not be in contact with a child that age when they go to camp. Phones are available for emergencies, but that's really it. My children had the same rules when they went to Science camp in 5th grade.

I don't think what you said was necessarily offensive, but I do think you need to learn to let go a bit. Your daughter is 13 afterall and is under good supervision.

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