When And How To Break Up With Her

It's Time To Break Up If Your Relationship Looks Like This

In any relationship, there are good days and there are bad days. For instance, you might want to do something that your partner is completely opposed to, or she might want to go shopping for the apartment when all you want to do is stay at home and relax with the game or a movie. This is part and parcel of being one half of a couple.

Now and again, however, your differences might become more serious and can lead to a breakup. There are signs of looming trouble, and when they are seen with some frequency, it might be time to cut your losses and end the relationship. Knowing what these breakup signs are can help you avoid wasting any more time in a dead-end relationship.

1. Lack Of Contact

When you first got together with your other half, you couldn't stop contacting each other. Whether it was on the phone, via text messaging or using e-mail and other online messenger systems, speaking to each other almost every hour was the norm. Now, however, you can’t even be bothered to text her, let alone call. On top of this, you've deliberately started to ignore her attempts to contact you. Caller ID has never been so useful and a breakup has never been more imminent.

2. There's No Talk Of The Future

One of the most natural and exciting parts of being involved with someone is planning the future together. You’re perfectly content to plan for the holidays, dream about where you want to make your home, and ponder possible names for your kids because it gives you a feeling of safety. These thoughts of the future perpetuate the sentiment that the two of you will always be a loving couple that grows old together.

Raise any of these subjects now, and all you receive is a noncommittal nod or grunt; neither of you are willing to talk about where you want to spend your vacation in the summer, or which concerts you want to attend.

3. Lack Of Effort

Remember how, when you first got together, neither of you could come up with plans quick enough on what to do together. Long walks, picnics on the beach, spontaneous romantic getaways, and so on, were all romantic options for you and your new lover. Now you can’t even be bothered to arrange a date to keep the passion alive. In fact, you’re happiest when you’re listlessly sitting at home watching TV or a DVD — anything to avoid talking to each other.

4. Fighting Dirty

The two of you used to have silly little fights that were only slightly more mature than a schoolyard spat. Now you’re engaged in full-on war games in which anything goes. You know what her weak spots are — her weight, her body image and her mother — and you use them just to rile her up. You’re not alone, as the rules of engagement clearly state that she can do exactly the same thing back — she laughs at your sexual prowess and tells her girlfriends how small your manhood is.

5. Fighting Quickly

You used to see her little jibes as humorous and you were able to laugh them off. Now, the slightest word from her that you find irritating leads you to throw down the gauntlet and pick a fight without a second’s notice. If this is the case, it suggests a deep-seated resentment for your partner, and is a sign that things could get real ugly if you don’t leave now and break up.

6. Fighting Publicly

Fighting with your partner is bad enough, but entering a screaming match in public is a definite sign that you’re in a relationship that’s out of control. If you don’t even care who hears or sees the problems that you have, it’s a sure sign that you’ve lost all respect for your partner. Short of stepping onto a soapbox on the street corner, tell her that you’re breaking up with her.

7. Yearning For Independence

It used to be that you wanted to spend every single waking minute with your girl; you’d share the shower first thing in the morning, you’d meet for lunch and you’d pick her up after work (even though it was out of your way) just to have more time together. Now all you want to do is go out with your buddies or even work double overtime just so you don’t have to spend any more time together than is absolutely necessary. Dreaming about your bachelorhood, romanticizing past relationships or fantasizing about becoming a player are all signs that your current relationship is doomed.

8. Keeping Secrets

The basis of any successful relationship is trust. This means sharing every intimate detail with no lies, no secrets, and no unexpected skeletons. If that suddenly disappears, what’s the point in continuing? If you can’t trust your partner with something your friend told you, or with something that might affect their own situation (either with a friend, family or work) it’s clear you no longer feel you can confide in them and it’s time to pack up and go.

9. Change In Perception

Remember how you used to think her little button nose was cute? Or how her strange little laugh was funny and endearing? Now that same button nose makes her look like a pig, and that laugh is horribly unbearable. When you look at your love bug all you see are her ugly qualities — physical or otherwise. You look at her now and see cellulite that causes dry heaves and those freckles on her chest make you think of leprosy. If you can’t see past her normal faults, it’s another sign that your relationship has had its day.

10. No More Sex

We all know how animalistic our sexuality becomes when we enter a new relationship. Heck, rabbits look like monks compared to how active we are. Then, like an overdosed rock star, your sexuality fizzles and you’re only getting it on a few times a month. It might be fixable — if you're making any of these 10 mistakes in bed — but when your action comes from the sex and advice column in your local newspaper, and there’s no sign of improvement, it’s usually an indication that the spark has gone and it’s time to move on to a new phase of your life.