May 23, 2007

'American Idol' crowns Jordin Sparks, but takes two looong hours to do so

“American Idol’s” finale is only marginally about crowning a winner. On Wednesday, the sixth winner of the Fox talent show was crowned in Hollywood, and a radiant Jordin Sparks cried and so forth. But the finale is really all about making America endure two hours (actually, two hours plus about eight minutes) of sometimes amusing, often ridiculous, always ultra-commercial filler before allowing the long, long “Idol” season to end.

The finales can usually be divided into four categories: Pimp My Single, in which an artist such as Gwen Stefani or former “Idol” winner Kelly Clarkson stop by to sell whatever song they’re flogging at the moment.

Then there’s Sweating to the Oldies, in which classic artists such as Smokey Robinson, Gladys Knight and Tony Bennett stop by to show the kids how it’s done. A subcategory of this division is Where Are They Now, which finds former Idols such as Carrie Underwood (looking ever more Barbie-esque) and Taylor Hicks singing a tune. No sign of Chris Daughtry; you can’t imagine him ever duetting with a future season’s Sanjaya Malakar. Thank goodness.

And of course we can’t forget the Golden Idols, the “funny” awards ceremony in which the show revisits the scandals and excesses of the past season and uses any slender pretext to bring out some of the mentally unbalanced or greatly untalented people that it unearthed during the audition process. Wow, that just gets “funnier” every year, huh?

The final category is Things Designed to Make Your Head Explode, which is a catchall of only-on-“Idol” occurrences both good and bad (more lean toward the latter, it must be said). There was the insane and extraordinary sight of Doug E. Fresh beatboxing with Blake Lewis.

No one except his rabid fans will accuse Blake of having the vocal chops of, say, Clay Aiken, but even this old-school rap fanatic had to admit that Blake held his own during their raucous cover of Fresh’s classic hip-hop track “The Show.” And Green Day on “Idol”? Somehow they managed to hang on to their dignity, which is some kind of feat for an “Idol” finale.

Then there’s the dark side of the Things Designed to Make Your Head Explode category: You knew I’d get to Sanjaya eventually.

Joe Perry decided to nuke whatever’s left of his cool factor by playing guitar on Sanjaya’s second shredding of the Kinks’ classic “You Really Got Me.” Now, there’s nothing wrong with Sanjaya exploiting his kitsch factor, but couldn’t he do it without destroying a classic of rock music? Again?

Through all the filler and the fluff and the cheeseball medleys (A “Sgt. Pepper’s” sing-off? Really?), it was possible to construct a Parallel Universe “Idol” in one’s imagination: You could watch Melinda Doolittle with BeBe and CeCe Winans and pretend that the presumptive winner was belting out one more joyous, gospel-inflected number before taking the crown, or you could watch Melinda and LaKisha Jones share a brief solo with Gladys Knight – a moment that truly raised the hair on the back of my neck, in a good way – and pretend that those two powerful vocalists were competing for the “Idol” title. But it was not so. Like the Crying Girl in the audience (yes, she cried again on cue Wednesday night), we must shed the tears and try to smile anyway.

We could distract ourselves by doing Spot the Most Incongruous Star in the Audience (Jerry Springer! Jeff Foxworthy! Michael Chiklis! Wait, Michael Chiklis?!). We could dole out Free Fashion Advice to the less appropriately attired singers (love that Kelly Clarkson, but the Goth/thigh-high/miniskirt look is emphatically not for her) but eventually we must stop playing for time – as “Idol” does during every finale -- and face the truth.

Usually I think, wow, Mo's got a great job. Then I read something like this and realize it's also your job to watch American Idol. All of it. And I feel very bad for you. The only AI I've ever seen have been those (thankfully short) clips that Keith Olbermann's producers force him to air on MSNBC's "Countdown with Keith Olbermann" - and that's too much (thank Jah for Tivo and fast forward). It's OK, Mo, new episodes of "Big Love" coming real soon now to wash away the AI aftertaste. Drink heavily while you wait, it will help you feel numb.

Wow, the AI producers really couldn't help themselves tonight, could they? The "awards" were tedious and not funny. The Beatles medley was horrific. There was no theme or continuity -- just a mish mash of performers thrown together. It reminded me of a Moroccan street fair.

This was the first season where I tuned in during the last 5 minutes of the results shows. I couldn't suffer those long and incredibly boring showcases. Next season I'd like to see the results show trimmed to a lean half hour. I'd say 10 minutes but everyone knows FOX would never consider such an idea.

Two plus hours? My husband and I had watched Idol from day one and last night we sat down to watch the finale as always we set our DVR to record it as we have very busy schedules. We stayed up past our usual bedtime and missed the finale because the DVR only recorded until 9pm. I almost cried! All season long we did not miss a show and last night we sat through 2 tortuous hours to NOT see who won. What a wasted season for us.

What the [removed] Was all of that about? This years American Idol SUCKED big time! I didn't watch anything but the last 7 mins..... which was BORING! I rhought Jordin should have won, but she was BORING last night... It seamed all rehersalto me.... Doolittle should have WON but oh, well!

I'm giving up American Idol for next season, I can't stand to waste another four month for the same CRAP!

What was up with Bette Midler? The whole time she was singing I was thinking based on that performance, she wouldn't have made it to Hollywood week! I love "Wind Beneath My Wings", but she sounded so much better when it originally came out!
As for running over time, luckily I had caught up to live TV on my DVR and I ended up scrambling to get the channel set up to see the end!

As a person who hasn't seen the show since the first season, I decided last night to give it another try. I tuned in and within five minutes was channel surfing. I kept doing this for about an hour. It was painful and laughable to watch! At 8:00 p.m. I gave up and decided to play with my dogs outside! I think it's time to end the show entirely.

I thought the same thing about the show going over. How many people taped it and missed the ending? There is irony for you! I hope FOX gets reamed from the fans for that!
I agree, the Divine Miss M. was certainly out of place on idol. I saw people in the crowd just staring like zombies during her performance. She couldnt even hit the high notes and as Randy would say, "I dont know Dawg, it was kind of pitchy". Kelly was way better!

Michael Chiklis is in the Fantastic Four, which Fox has been using AI to promote. Jerry Springer was probably more incongruous because America's Got Talent, while being a Simon Cowell product, is not on the Fox network.

i wonder if idol's 8-minutes-over routine that screwed dvr users out of seeing the only relevant portion of the evening was on purpose - kind of a solidarity effort with its advertisers whose commercials are routinely fast-forwarded by us devious dvr users. idol is such a slave to corporate america that i really wouldn't put it past them to purposely do this.

i know a live show is difficult to put on and time, but the sound was completely jacked up for what seemed like most of the night, and running over was inexcusable. did we really need to hear a freaking bette midler song? was there any purpose whatsoever to bringing back the mentally challenged contestants for one more barb at their expense?

pretty disappointing show. and who really cares who the "winner" is - history has shown that with the right marketing approach, any one of the final 12 can go on to have a lucrative career.

People always ask my why I watch American Idol. After this season, and ESPECIALLY after last night, they won't have to ask me that ever again. I only flipped to Fox a half dozen times during the two plus hour mess, but even that was too much. Talk about surgery without anesthesia.

Was anyone really surprised by the show? It's incredibly predictable and in an attempt to give something to everyone in a hugely diverse audience, ended up turning off more people than not. What else is new?

What was Bette Midler doing there? Her equipment failure only added emphasis to her misplaced performance. Tony Bennett? Joe Perry? I could go on. Angry Kelly Clarkson...not so attractive. But at the end of the day it's a vehicle to make money, to promote a tour and record sales. It is what it is.

I would agree. How on earth could they possibly run overtime knowing well that many recorded automatically through DVR. I watched the 2 hour show late last night and as I inched closer to the two hour threshold, I thought, "how on earth are they going to wrap this up in time" until finally my DVR asked me to "save or delete". I can not begin to explain how angry I was. Thanks Fox Television!

To all of you who missed the last two minutes and didn't get to see the winner, didn't you hear Simon on Tuesday and then again on the finale show announce that Jordin was the winner? whats to watch? The votes weren't in yet on either night but Simon knew it would be Jordin Sparks, He also said she "wiped the floor with Blake", talk about unprofessional and mean spirited. Why watch if you are already told who was going to win and golly gee, she won. What a shock!

I enjoyed the show more than I thought. Gladis Knight is still a goddess---wow, that woman can still sing beautifully! Sadly, one cannot say the same for poor Bette Midler. I was embarrassed by how off-key she was. And she's taking over from Celine in Vegas? Yikes! Oh, and I'm glad Jordin won.

If the show is so bad and "fixed" like most of you feel, why are you watching? I think that most of you are sheep that have to follow the flock. If you had any ability to think for yourselves, you might be able to turn the channel, or better yet, turn off the TV.

Two plus hours? My Wife and I had watched Idol from day one and last night we sat down to watch the finale as always we set our DVR to record it as we have very busy schedules. We stayed up past our usual bedtime and missed the finale because the DVR only recorded until 9pm. All season long we did not miss a show and last night we sat through 2 hours to NOT see who won. What a wasted season for us.

The producers of "Idol" would also like to do a 15-minute results show--in the one-time zone UK, talent shows do performance shows early in the evening and the results for 15 minutes right before the late news.

Unfortunately, because U.S. TV is locked into this convention that programs can only run in increments of 30 minutes--and because Fox demands long periods of time to sell lots of advertising (in the UK you either have the viewer-funded-by-license-fee BBC or the commercial channels, which have to sell their advertising months before anything is scheduled--and the ITV network cannot sell national advertising, only the local licensees) we got the bloated spectacles that were last night's "Idol" finale and Tuesday night's "Dancing" finale.

Guess I wasn't the only one who missed the end! I set the Tivo for 2 minutes longer thinking that would catch any run-over. Hah. It did make me mad after watching all season, as well as the whole finale (well, 2 hours and 2 minutes of it). I always enjoy the end - the tears and the final song, etc. I feel ripped off! It seemed this season that the show ran over almost every week. I always forgot to set the recorder ahead, because other shows don't do that! Or if it didn't run over, it cut the singer off. Somebody correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't remember this happening in past seasons. We always got to hear the final song, plus get judges' comments/advice, and the big group cry. It seems disrespectful to the person leaving and his/her fans not to get the proper send-off. It doesn't take that long to say "_____ is going home" or "The winner is _____." One or two hours is already pushing it past the point of tolerance.

What a waste of two hours. Too much filler. Why couldn't they have had Lakisha or Phil sing solos, or Chris Richardson duet with his BFF Blake? Instead, we get people like Bette Midler who has no connection to the show, those painfully offensive Golden Idols, and lots and lots of filler.

I think Melinda or Lakisha should have won. Both of those women are infinitely more talented than Jordan. But the producers of American Idol thought they were either too old and boring (Melinda) or too old and fat (Lakisha) to sell records, so they did everything in their power to make sure Jordan won. Bah.

I agree....it's too bad that your job is to watch all of AI...what a farce and I use to love idol Soaked in every minute of it. Thank God I didn't watch for the first time and just looked at segments on the web that I wanted to see. In fact I stop watching most of it before Melinda was wrongfully booted and definitely after.

I got hooked on Idol for the first time this year watching the (sometimes) funny bad auditions and tried to follow it all the way to the end. After all that pain of a gruesome finale, I MISSED THE FINAL RESULT AFTER TWO WASTED HOURS BECAUSE THEY WENT LONG AND MY DVR CUT OFF. Yes, I got to fast forward through a lot of really awful stuff (Taylor Hicks really won last year?) but unfortunately got caught in that Beatles medley the same way you turn your head on the highway when seeing an accident. I swear, if I ever become the next Warren Buffet, I'm going to use my fortune to buy the Beatles catalog from Michael Jackson and retire it forever. Then, the next time I see "A Day In The Life" peformed live, it will be in heaven by John Lennon. Until then, no one else gets to sing those songs, epecially these Idol hacks. I even felt bad for Ringo when they butchered "A Little Help From My Friends"

One year was enough for me. They suck you in and spit you out. The funny first few episodes aren't worth the pain of last night.

But where else can you see Tony Bennett of all people in the wrong venue? I kept wondering what Idol owes Gwen Stefani for 3 appearances this season? Sanjaya was tongue-in-cheek, and in his support, go listen to the original Kinks record - it is soooo off-key, and he did it proud.

The embarassing entertainers to me: Bette Midler - OMFG, that woman needs to retire to a talk show, her voice was way gone and you notice no camera closeups! Why Bette? Why?

No one will ever have the talent and charisma of Clay Aiken, but they could at least showcase him to bring some excitment to the show. But then he steals the show--poor slobs, what a problem they have. Remember last season's finale--when Clay came out with the new look and hair and brought the house down. And all the media talked about Clay's entrance and downplayed Taylor's win. Poor AI. Not! They singlehandely took that win away from Clay--when everyone knows he won that second season. As we fans say, "Idol Found, Game Over! Can't wait to see Clay this summer whe he goes on tour.
-Carol, Chicago

sanjaya was the best part of the show sorry your immaturity keeps you from recognizing pure talent and entertainment the guy has the rare it factor you will get it in time.thank god he was there the rest was a predictable bore .

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