When problems arise in our relationship
that seem to leave major damage in their wake, I usually
find myself agonizing again and again over the events
that lead to my current despair.
What does this accomplish? Sometimes it
helps me get a better understanding of what went wrong,
and what changes I need to make to ensure the same thing
doesn't happen again. Most often though, I do it to keep
a rush of deep pain from sweeping up and overwhelming me.
I need to mourn my losses fully though.
I need to take time, and feel the pain, and rant and
rave, and scream and sob if and when I need to. Once I
let it all out, I can finally gain new peace and
understanding, almost automatically.
If I dwell on the past however, I keep
running the same scenes over and over again through my
head, keeping myself miserable. What's done is done; I
can handcuff myself to the past, or I can accept its
lessons gratefully, and decide to make today a day all
its own - one that doesn't have to contain chains to
yesterday.

Just for Today
Today, I'll take a close look at any
hurt I'm feeling right now, and take time to let go of it
the best I can, by allowing myself to feel it fully. When
the day is over, I'll leave this day to go where it needs
to be - in my memory, in the past. Each day deserves to
be a new day.
When the tide of life turns against you
And the current upsets your boat
Don't waste tears on what might have been
Just lie on your back and float