Reasons why he doesn’t want to have sex with you

Has your man been pushing you away when you reach out for sex? And has this disturbing behaviour been continuing for longer than you’d like? Well don’t berate yourself unnecessarily thinking of all the worst case scenarios. Sexless long-term relationships are more common than you think but no one really talks about it. While men have a hard time admitting that they have any sexual problems, women tend to clam up because they think it reflects badly on their ability to attract a man. However, most long-term couples, more often than not, face this problem in their relationships. Here are some reasons why there could be a lull in your bedroom.

Low testosterone: Testosterone is the hormone that fuels desire in men. So when there is a dip in testosterone levels it results is low libido. This dip could be due to a number of reasons like normal aging to stress to sleep deprivation to serious health issues that need to be looked at by a doctor. Sometimes the T-hormone also gets low due to unknown reasons.

Depression: Depression is a leading cause of low libido in both men and women. If your man is suffering from depression he will experience a lack of desire, find it harder to orgasm, and generally find sex less pleasurable. Medications prescribed for depression sometimes also cause a lack of sexual desire. However, it is important that medication must not be stopped as it is more important to treat the depression first.

Addictions: An over dependence on alcohol, smoking and substance abuse in the long-run can have a negative effect on libido. While alcohol may make it physically impossible for a man to achieve an erection, opiates like marijuana can lead to a lack of physical sensation, paranoia and pulmonary distress, all of which make it impossible for your man to have sex. An addiction to porn could also lead to low libido as he, would, in all probability be masturbating, thereby reducing his need to maintain any kind of sexual contact with you.

Performance anxiety: If your man has had problems getting or keeping an erection in the past, he may be wary of initiating sex again due to a fear of failure. Even if he feels desire, he will shy away from sex just so that he does not feel emasculated if he cannot perform. Strong, negative reactions from women at this juncture often make the situation worse with the man avoiding sex altogether just to avoid an unpleasant situation.

Cracks in the relationship: On the emotional level, fissures on your relationship could also be a reason why your man is shunning you in bed. For instance, if he is angry at you for a certain reason, his way of punishing you may be to withhold sex. Even if there have been no recent flare-ups, deep-seated resentment against you could lead to cold sexual relations.

Boredom: Plain and simple boredom with a relationship often leads it to the doldrums. From a lack of variety in your sexual repertoire to over-familiarity to a loss of attraction, this is a real-issue that hampers sexual relations for long-term couples. While it is unfair, some men do start finding their partners less attractive over time and start taking them for granted. This naturally leads to a lack of sexual interest in them.

Infidelity: This may be the first thought that comes to your mind when he stops having sex with you and the sad truth is that it just might be true. The reason he finds you less attractive or boring is because he is getting sexually fulfilled elsewhere. If your man has had an affair or a one-night-stand or has visited sex workers, he will not want to have sex with you either because he is feeling guilty or because he is fulfilled and does not need sex with you.