I really thought there was such a thing at one time. I had all the dreams of growing old together and still being in love and holding hands as we walked down the street when we were 80, and watching my grandchidren grow up and come visit me for the holidays. When I see an old couple together today, I feel very sad - not for them - but for what I've always wanted but never seemed to be able to have.

But after completely letting go of the guards and walls around my heart a few times, only to be completely devestated by an unfaithful wife (on more than one occasion). I don't think anyone could ever break thru the walls again. They are taller, thicker, and stronger than ever before. I don't like heartache. I'd rather someone beat me to a bloody pulp than to have my heart broken again.

It would take a very special and very strong lady. One that was willing to be patient at taking the walls down, one brick at a time. She would need to be determined to keep working at it because she knew there was a very big, loving (and scared) heart on the inside. I haven't found such a woman to exist (so far) because its far too easy to move on for a quicker catch.

The pain and depression I suffered for several years at the end of my marriage and after the divorce is something I don't ever care to repeat. I lost dignity, self esteem and respect for myself. That's been behind me now and has been for a few years. I am a pretty content and happy person in every other part of my life. Just not so in the Department of Love.

Yes, I'd love to find true life-long companion and be in love. But, like I said, I don't think there is a woman who is willing to invest that much effort. So, I drift around and try to find happiness when and where I can. It's my defense mechanism for guarding my heart and hiding my fears, I guess.

Right on Brother! We have common ground to stand on. As you were telling your story, you were telling mine, too. My 1st Marriage lasted 11 years, and at 10 years we were still holding hands when we walked, she was my Lover AND my best friend, and I couldn't even imagine living my life without her to come home to. I see her today and theres just a blank spot in my heart where she used to be. They say that finding Love and losing it is better than never finding Love at all, but I have to disagree. Knowing how Love felt and never finding that bond again is much worse. So I look at those old folks and I know how they're feeling, and it usually puts a smile on my face, remembering the days when all I needed was my ol' lady and my scooter, and I was good to go

Blondeambition write: Hey Slim, I have a question for ya, about how long on the average would you like walls should start coming down? I'm sure its different for each individual, but I went with this guy for a year and fell deeply in love with him, but he just seemed numb like he just didn't see it. I felt like I was constantly being tested and to see how much I would put up with. Well if he didn't see my genuine loyal love after a year, I had had enough, I felt I deserved better. He let a good woman slip through his hands. It felt the relationship was one sided. He claimed he loved me, but I think he used the words loosly and not following through with actions etc. Life is about risks and everytime we get involved with someone, we need to give them the benefit of a doubt, because no one deserves paying the price for past pain. Sincerely, Terie

Terie, you're right as far as it being different for each individual. And right again on the fact that no one should have to pay for someone else's past dirty deeds. That's not fair to the new person. So, I guess it would take time and understanding. I think if a woman knew about what I have been thru they would have a better understanding as to why I might be the way I am. Then, if they truly felt for me they might be willing to work a little more at making me feel my heart was safe with them. And at times when a ghost from the past appeared, be understanding as to why and understand it is not them. I know that's probably a pretty hard thing to do.

I consider myself a pretty open person. I sometimes reveal more feelings that I probably should. But I am a straight up guy and very direct - both when I like something and when I don't. I'm also an ex-cop/detective so I tend to have my atennas up all the time. So, I don't have a problem of letting someone know how I feel. I guess it comes down to me feeling "safe". I have to feel safe that I can allow myself to feel vulnerable with someone. That means trusting ... which is hard for me to do.

I guess I am a difficult case, huh? I need therapy or serious drugs. Anyone have any morphine? Oh my goodness Slim, your so funny. But on a serious note, what you expressed makes sense and is only fair. If someone cared enough for you and was understanding of you after you expressed yourself and opened up, then hey, their a keeper for sure. Your feelings are honest feelings and nothing wrong with that. You sound like a special guy and when the right woman for you is ready in her life for you, she will find you. Stay cool, Terie

who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this!
When people can walk away from you: let them walk.

I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk.
Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. The bible said that, they came out from us
that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you.
And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go. And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it.

Stop begging people to stay. Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to ... LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ... LET IT GO!!!
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth ... LET IT GO!!!
If someone has angered you ... LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge ... LET IT GO!!!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction ... LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents ... LET IT GO!!!
If you have a bad attitude ... LET IT GO!!!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better ... LET IT GO!!!
If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him ... LET IT GO!!!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship ... LET IT GO!!!
If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves ... LET IT GO!!!
If you're feeling depressed and stressed ... LET IT GO!!!
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to ... LET IT GO!!!
Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing for 2006!!! LET IT GO!!! Get Right or Get Left ... think about it, and then LET IT GO!!!

WarHippy write: I've seen so many poems and nice sayings about true Love in here that I wanted to share a little thing that's been on my fridge door for about forever. Here goes: Every one longs to give himself completely to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be Loved thoroughly and exclusively. But God, to His children, says: "No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with being Loved by Me, to have an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone, discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with Me, exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing-one that you cannot omagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow me to bring it to you. You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things, keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am. Keep listening and learning the things I tell you. You just wait, that's all. Don't be anxious. Don't look at the things you want.You just keep looking off and up to Me or you'll miss what I want to show you. And then when you are ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you could dream of. You see, until you are ready (I'm working even at this moment to have both of you ready at the same time) until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life that I have prepared for you, you will not be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me, and this perfect love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relation with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love that I offer you with Myself. Know that I Love you utterly. I am the Almighty God. Believe it and be satisfied. Anonymous

WHEW!! That took alot out of me, but ya know what, it might be true, if ya look too hard for something, you look right past it. Can I get an Amen from the congregation??

I've seen so many poems and nice sayings about true Love in here that I wanted to share a little thing that's been on my fridge door for about forever. Here goes:
Every one longs to give himself completely to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be Loved thoroughly and exclusively. But God, to His children, says: "No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with being Loved by Me, to have an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone, discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with Me, exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing-one that you cannot omagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow me to bring it to you. You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things, keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am. Keep listening and learning the things I tell you. You just wait, that's all. Don't be anxious. Don't look at the things you want.You just keep looking off and up to Me or you'll miss what I want to show you. And then when you are ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you could dream of. You see, until you are ready (I'm working even at this moment to have both of you ready at the same time) until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life that I have prepared for you, you will not be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me, and this perfect love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relation with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love that I offer you with Myself. Know that I Love you utterly. I am the Almighty God. Believe it and be satisfied.
Anonymous

WHEW!! That took alot out of me, but ya know what, it might be true, if ya look too hard for something, you look right past it. Can I get an Amen from the congregation??

longnailsblonde write: I beleive in fairy tales. I have had my share of broken hearts, walls torn down only to have that person tear me apart, I look at that and I focus on the good things, I learn from them which makes me a stronger and wiser woman. some times you just have to kiss some toads to find that prince charming.. When you least expect it, it comes right to you.. If you have faith everything is oh so possible. Love to me is worth the wait..

Blondeambition write: Hey Slim, I have a question for ya, about how long on the average would you like walls should start coming down? I'm sure its different for each individual, but I went with this guy for a year and fell deeply in love with him, but he just seemed numb like he just didn't see it. I felt like I was constantly being tested and to see how much I would put up with. Well if he didn't see my genuine loyal love after a year, I had had enough, I felt I deserved better. He let a good woman slip through his hands. It felt the relationship was one sided. He claimed he loved me, but I think he used the words loosly and not following through with actions etc. Life is about risks and everytime we get involved with someone, we need to give them the benefit of a doubt, because no one deserves paying the price for past pain. Sincerely, Terie

Terie, you're right as far as it being different for each individual. And right again on the fact that no one should have to pay for someone else's past dirty deeds. That's not fair to the new person. So, I guess it would take time and understanding. I think if a woman knew about what I have been thru they would have a better understanding as to why I might be the way I am. Then, if they truly felt for me they might be willing to work a little more at making me feel my heart was safe with them. And at times when a ghost from the past appeared, be understanding as to why and understand it is not them. I know that's probably a pretty hard thing to do.

I consider myself a pretty open person. I sometimes reveal more feelings that I probably should. But I am a straight up guy and very direct - both when I like something and when I don't. I'm also an ex-cop/detective so I tend to have my atennas up all the time. So, I don't have a problem of letting someone know how I feel. I guess it comes down to me feeling "safe". I have to feel safe that I can allow myself to feel vulnerable with someone. That means trusting ... which is hard for me to do.

I guess I am a difficult case, huh? I need therapy or serious drugs. Anyone have any morphine?

I beleive in fairy tales. I have had my share of broken hearts, walls torn down only to have that person tear me apart, I look at that and I focus on the good things, I learn from them which makes me a stronger and wiser woman. some times you just have to kiss some toads to find that prince charming.. When you least expect it, it comes right to you.. If you have faith everything is oh so possible. Love to me is worth the wait..

I really thought there was such a thing at one time. I had all the dreams of growing old together and still being in love and holding hands as we walked down the street when we were 80, and watching my grandchidren grow up and come visit me for the holidays. When I see an old couple together today, I feel very sad - not for them - but for what I've always wanted but never seemed to be able to have.

But after completely letting go of the guards and walls around my heart a few times, only to be completely devestated by an unfaithful wife (on more than one occasion). I don't think anyone could ever break thru the walls again. They are taller, thicker, and stronger than ever before. I don't like heartache. I'd rather someone beat me to a bloody pulp than to have my heart broken again.

It would take a very special and very strong lady. One that was willing to be patient at taking the walls down, one brick at a time. She would need to be determined to keep working at it because she knew there was a very big, loving (and scared) heart on the inside. I haven't found such a woman to exist (so far) because its far too easy to move on for a quicker catch.

The pain and depression I suffered for several years at the end of my marriage and after the divorce is something I don't ever care to repeat. I lost dignity, self esteem and respect for myself. That's been behind me now and has been for a few years. I am a pretty content and happy person in every other part of my life. Just not so in the Department of Love.

Yes, I'd love to find true life-long companion and be in love. But, like I said, I don't think there is a woman who is willing to invest that much effort. So, I drift around and try to find happiness when and where I can. It's my defense mechanism for guarding my heart and hiding my fears, I guess.

Hi Seminole...I understand what you're saying about "walls"...guarding your heart...hiding your fears...No one wants to get their heart hurt...because every time that you do let your guard down & allow someone in...you're taking that chance of getting your heart hurt all over again...but then again if you don't take the chance...you take the chance of missing out on what might just be...What's the saying? It's better to have loved than to have never loved at all? Also...in my profile I quoted a poem that one of my bestfriends wrote for me that she framed for me.
"LOVE IS TAKING CHANCES...RISKING IT ALL...IF YOU NEVER LOVE...YOU WILL NEVER LIVE...DON'T BE AFRAID TO FALL"
I think we all hope to one day find that one special someone to share the rest of our days with...but I do know this...I will not settle either just so I'm not alone...
I want to thank you for sharing what you shared here...& just cuz I'm a hugger...I'm going to give you a hug...
Take care...

nittekitten write: i still believe in the fairy tale of happily ever after at my age. i've been on my own a long time now, thought maybe i'd given up a time or two. (i think thats when the fairy Godmother whacked me on the head with her wand so i'd snap out of it) can't ever give up on your dreams...its never too late.

Hey, girl, I understand about losing faith in love. But I still bounce back and believe in life-long love, too, you know, the I would die for you kind of love. Just when I would think I had it, *poof* something gots all fubar'ed up. But, even after all those false starts, haha, I'm still a hopeless romantic.

My heart just fills with joy when I see that old couple who've been married 50 years and still walk down the street holding hands, with a sparkle in their eyes and talking in sweet low voices to each other. Now that's something special. I'd like to wake up 20 or 30 years from now to a beautifully aged and well-lined face that looks back at me with love in their eyes after all those years.

I really thought there was such a thing at one time. I had all the dreams of growing old together and still being in love and holding hands as we walked down the street when we were 80, and watching my grandchidren grow up and come visit me for the holidays. When I see an old couple together today, I feel very sad - not for them - but for what I've always wanted but never seemed to be able to have.

But after completely letting go of the guards and walls around my heart a few times, only to be completely devestated by an unfaithful wife (on more than one occasion). I don't think anyone could ever break thru the walls again. They are taller, thicker, and stronger than ever before. I don't like heartache. I'd rather someone beat me to a bloody pulp than to have my heart broken again.

It would take a very special and very strong lady. One that was willing to be patient at taking the walls down, one brick at a time. She would need to be determined to keep working at it because she knew there was a very big, loving (and scared) heart on the inside. I haven't found such a woman to exist (so far) because its far too easy to move on for a quicker catch.

The pain and depression I suffered for several years at the end of my marriage and after the divorce is something I don't ever care to repeat. I lost dignity, self esteem and respect for myself. That's been behind me now and has been for a few years. I am a pretty content and happy person in every other part of my life. Just not so in the Department of Love.

Yes, I'd love to find true life-long companion and be in love. But, like I said, I don't think there is a woman who is willing to invest that much effort. So, I drift around and try to find happiness when and where I can. It's my defense mechanism for guarding my heart and hiding my fears, I guess.

Hey Slim, I have a question for ya, about how long on the average would you like walls should start coming down? I'm sure its different for each individual, but I went with this guy for a year and fell deeply in love with him, but he just seemed numb like he just didn't see it. I felt like I was constantly being tested and to see how much I would put up with. Well if he didn't see my genuine loyal love after a year, I had had enough, I felt I deserved better. He let a good woman slip through his hands. It felt the relationship was one sided. He claimed he loved me, but I think he used the words loosly and not following through with actions etc. Life is about risks and everytime we get involved with someone, we need to give them the benefit of a doubt, because no one deserves paying the price for past pain. Sincerely, Terie

I really thought there was such a thing at one time. I had all the dreams of growing old together and still being in love and holding hands as we walked down the street when we were 80, and watching my grandchidren grow up and come visit me for the holidays. When I see an old couple together today, I feel very sad - not for them - but for what I've always wanted but never seemed to be able to have.

But after completely letting go of the guards and walls around my heart a few times, only to be completely devestated by an unfaithful wife (on more than one occasion). I don't think anyone could ever break thru the walls again. They are taller, thicker, and stronger than ever before. I don't like heartache. I'd rather someone beat me to a bloody pulp than to have my heart broken again.

It would take a very special and very strong lady. One that was willing to be patient at taking the walls down, one brick at a time. She would need to be determined to keep working at it because she knew there was a very big, loving (and scared) heart on the inside.
I haven't found such a woman to exist (so far) because its far too easy to move on for a quicker catch.

The pain and depression I suffered for several years at the end of my marriage and after the divorce is something I don't ever care to repeat. I lost dignity, self esteem and respect for myself. That's been behind me now and has been for a few years. I am a pretty content and happy person in every other part of my life. Just not so in the Department of Love.

Yes, I'd love to find true life-long companion and be in love. But, like I said, I don't think there is a woman who is willing to invest that much effort. So, I drift around and try to find happiness when and where I can. It's my defense mechanism for guarding my heart and hiding my fears, I guess.