Reichley: Fun with words and introducing paraprosdokians

Since the holiday season is upon us, this column is a light-hearted one that has to do with words. It is in two parts, and the email that forwarded the first part did not give a title to what the word association was.

Comment

By John Reichley

The Leavenworth Times - Leavenworth, KS

By John Reichley

Posted Dec. 7, 2012 at 10:49 PM
Updated Dec 7, 2012 at 10:51 PM

By John Reichley

Posted Dec. 7, 2012 at 10:49 PM
Updated Dec 7, 2012 at 10:51 PM

Since the holiday season is upon us, this column is a light-hearted one that has to do with words. It is in two parts, and the email that forwarded the first part did not give a title to what the word association was.

What it does is give a word or phrase, then rearranges the letters to make other words. The email's title was "Very Clever,' to which I fully subscribe. My question is how did whoever did this have the time it must have taken? Read on and ye shall see.

Presbyterian: Best in prayer.

Astronomer: Moon starer.

Desperation: A rope ends it.

The eyes: They see.

George Bush: He bugs Gore.

The Morse code: Here come the dots.

Dormitory: Dirty room.

Slot machines: Cash lost in me.

Animosity: Is no amity.

Election results: Lies – let's recount.

Snooze alarm: Alas! No more z's.

A decimal point: I'm a dot in place.

The earthquakes: That queer shake.

Eleven plus two: Twelve plus one.

Mother-in-law: Woman Hitler.

The other half is from an email titled Paraprosdokians, a word I'd never heard before and one the computer immediately underlined in red. But the email said they were a favorite of Winston Churchill, a noted wordsmith, and the term means a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected, and frequently humorous. Read on, and enjoy.

Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on my list.

Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

To steal ideas from a person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

In filling out an application, where it says "In case of emergency who do we notify," I always put "A doctor."

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and beer belly and still think they are sexy.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

Page 2 of 2 - To ensure hitting the target, shoot, then call whatever you hit the target.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder to find one now.

John Reichley is a retired Army officer and retired Department of the Army civilian employee.