Game of Thrones: The Gratuitous Sex Was Better Than Character Development

It’s always a strange phenomenon when real-life news is more exciting than the plot developments of an action-laced fantasy series. Then again, even without last night’s bin Laden news, the third episode of Game of Thrones—“Lord Snow”—would have had a difficult time generating more excitement than the latest installment of Undercover Boss.

The episode was far from the most riveting hour of television to ever air, but that’s not to say that I didn’t enjoy it or—more importantly, that an episode like this wasn’t absolutely necessary. Because it was necessary. I’ve been complaining about the lack of character development over the course of the first two episodes, and here we are, presented with what amounts to an entire hour of character development. Sure, there were no great battles—though we heard all about some!—and even the gratuitous sex seemed to be toned down. In exchange, we now know these characters a little better.

There are two characters I’m really starting to like: King Robert (Mark Addy) and Ser Jamie Lannister (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau). Not as human beings whom I’d personally like to spend time with, but as television characters who are starting to come into their own. First, King Robert. Honestly, this is probably what I would be like if I were a king. It’s certainly not what I’d hope to be like, but after a few years of trying to live up to some sort of unreasonable standard, drinking bottomless wine while referring to my brother-in-law as “smug” would most likely become my daily routine, too. And at least Robert’s correct. Ser Jamie Lannister is smug. Maybe Lannister has a right to be: in the first three episodes, he paralyzes a young boy, tries to have that same paralyzed young boy assassinated, has incestuous sexual relations with the king’s wife, and then makes Ned Stark feel sad about his new job with his “the king shits and the hand wipes” crack. When King Robert chastises Ser Jamie for murdering the former king, the look on Ser Jamie’s face never wavers from “pleased with himself.” Lannister may be despicable, but you kind of have to admire him for just owning it. Right?

Two characters that I already enjoyed, Jon Snow (Kit Harington) and Tyrion Lannister, had another solid episode. At this point in the series, a strong case can be made that Peter Dinklage as Tyrion is not just the best part about this series but also the glue that keeps the whole show from falling apart. Most of the characters on Game of Thrones have to explain why they are interesting; Dinklage as Tyrion just is interesting.

Last week, I was inundated with messages that all used some form of the word “prude” for my suggesting the show devote fewer minutes to gratuitous sex and more to character development. To be clear, I am certainly not suggesting that Game of Thrones give up gratuitous sex scenes and nudity—by this point, it’s a trademark of the show. It’s just that shocking sex scenes work better when the audience isn’t asking, “Wait, who is that guy again?” Put it this way: last week, Dany (Emilia Clarke) had much more screen time, but she spent most of her scenes in some sort of sexual position. This week, although she had a limited role, I learned much more about her character as she succeeded in her subtle power grab from her brother, Viserys (Harry Lloyed). Oh, also, Dany’s pregnant, which, yeah, all things considered, doesn’t come as too much of a surprise.

And then there’s Ned Stark (Sean Bean)—you know, the main character of the show. I waited this long to mention Ned because, at least at this point in the series, he unfortunately may be the least interesting character. It seems his role right now is to “just make everyone happy.” He makes the king happy by agreeing to become second in command; he tries to make his daughter Ayra (Maisie Williams) happy by explaining why her sister Sansa (Sophie Turner) lied on behalf of Prince Joffrey (Jack Gleeson); and he tries to make his wife, Catelyn (Michelle Fairley), happy by allowing her to risk everything to work alongside Petyr “Littlefinger” Baelish—who still holds a torch for Catelyn—in an effort to prove that the Lannisters are behind Bran’s (Isaac Hempstead-Wright) attempted murder. Hell, by the end of the episode, Ned even allows Ayra to take sword-fighting lessons—something he’d strictly forbidden earlier, and something he obviously regrets immediately. Ned has taken great care to make everyone happy—except for me, who is still waiting to see this great leader of Winterfell that everyone else is talking about.

Now that we’re all acquainted, it may be best to get back to the action and gratuitous sex.