Saturday, October 31, 2015

"You will have to make do with just one man for the rest of your life.""How about I break up with you and sleep with some men and then come back to you for the rest of my life?"
"Why would you do that?""Cause I should sleep with at least 2-3 more men no? Can't have just 'slept with one guy my entire life' tag."
"Right! How many do you think is ideal for you?""Mmm... I guess 2 more and that's it."

Today, I am sitting at 20 or maybe more since G and I had this conversation during our dating time.

In these 6, or is it 7? years, I have been in love, lust, anger, depression. Been hopeless and hung onto what I every time thought was the last string of hope in the matters of the heart. But today, I am writing after years out of responsibility. My responsibility towards everybody who has been privy to my anonymous love and mostly, sex life.

"Yeah, she has not been too well.""Oh!"
Both, behaving and avoiding the 'conversation' because we thought the other did not know about SE's STIs which she was taking a treatment for.

SE is a powerhouse woman. The kind you meet and feel is too much for a man. And she was. But, she was also stupid and careless in a way. Like a lot of us, she preferred the pleasures of simplicity than precaution.

Gradually, as she came to terms with her illness, treatment and regular life (this time it was sexless), she urged each one of her girlfriends to get HPV vaccinations immediately.

"LSL, please get your viral markers. Such things are real and they happen to real people.""But I just got myself tested 6 months back and I was clear. It's just an overflow of discharge. And it's probably because of stress, or because I just finished my vaccination...", I struggled with excuses to my gynecologist.

It's probably just another case of Vaginitis which is common among sexually active women, and can actually be cause without having anything to do with sex or even be caused by a STI. I currently do not know.

The first time I had Vaginitis, my doctor called it "pH imbalance" which happens when you travel and/or when you are with a new partner. Imagine your vagina like an introvert's mind. It goes haywire, and becomes uneasy and restless when it interacts with something new. Just two unprotected strokes, and my vagina's pH level got confused. In my friend's words, "Vaginas need time to get accustomed to new partners. They interact with them a few times and your pH levels come back to normal. But if they interact with too many new ones. They freeze like a middle aged woman in shock, and can not fight back to protect you well."

The second time, which is now, and here, I am presuming (so is the doc) that it is Vaginitis, is again another case of unprotected SINGLE stroke. Yes! SINGLE STROKE. Now, most of you are thinking that single unprotected strokes or unprotected oral sex is alright. If you have not understood yet, NO! IT IS NOT ALRIGHT! IT MAKES ALL THE FUCKING DIFFERENCE. You push in once or you go all the way nude, your penis and your vagina are quick to catch onto skin-to-skin infections and diseases.

"Have you had more than 5 partners?""Yes."
"Well, if you want, I'll check you for HPV but chances are you already got it. Women over 25 with over 5 partners run highest risk with most cases resulting in positive."

And that's it, I turned into the holiest Indian woman on this planet, praying to every god on this holy motherland of ours. It worked.

To my relief and my doctor's disbelief, I was a negative. However, the vaccination happened over a period of 6 months and I was still at risk of the side effects of the vaccine as well as other HPV infections which the vaccine did not protect you against. But, I felt more confident and protected than before until today, when I have been told to get myself tested again. I am hoping and praying again that this may not be a stroke of bad luck. Till, I find my results and use the time in buying coconuts and ringing bells, you should go fix an appointment.

The chances of catching sexually transmitted infections (and not every infection if a fatal HIV, there are many and curable too) are higher than truly satisfying a woman.

P.S. - I pray to you, please get yourself checked from time to time. Women, please get regular pap smears, get your vaccination and stay safe everyone. And doctors, please make sure you are making your patients feel comfortable rather than putting them on a cultural guilt trip. No one is going to stop having sex, but you could help creating a healthier country (which by the way is what you are supposed to do and not assume that if my friend is unmarried, she is a virgin).