Buzz: You know…I could…I fought for this country, and I know you don’t get to pick and choose the parts you fight for. But I know-*chime*Bixel: I should go number-two soon.

Abed: Meowmeowbeenz takes everything subjective and unspoken about human interaction and reduces it to explicit, objective numbers. I’ve never felt more alive.Jeff: As long as you’re happy, I’m unsettled.

Buzz: Nobody is gonna downvote a guy on his birthday.

Britta: As your ratings go up, your ratings of other people become more important.Jeff: No!Annie: It just means the more others like you, the more likeable you can make others. Makes sense to me.Britta: You know who else it made sense to?Annie: Say “Hitler” one more time, and I’m giving you a two.

Britta: You’re punishing me for being alive!Leonard: That’s the general idea, baby.

Annie: Maybe it dilutes or distracts from you excessive intensity.Britta: Maybe it dilutes or distracts from your stupid butt.Annie: Hmmm.

Jeff: I’m gonna become a five and expose this thing for the shame it is.
Britta: Oh, now you’re speaking my language.Jeff: That’s unintentional, trust me.Britta: Just make sure you know the real reason you’re doing something, or you’ll fail before you start.Jeff: That’s actually a good point.Britta: It is? why? *whipes mustard off face with finger* Oh, come on!