Preview — Carly's Voice by Arthur Fleischmann

Carly's Voice: Breaking Through Autism

In this international bestseller, father and advocate for Autism awareness Arthur Fleischmann blends his daughter Carly&#8217;s own words with his story of getting to know his remarkable daughter&#8212;after years of believing that she was unable to understand or communicate with him.

At the age of two, Carly Fleischmann was diagnosed with severe autism and an oralIn this international bestseller, father and advocate for Autism awareness Arthur Fleischmann blends his daughter Carly&#8217;s own words with his story of getting to know his remarkable daughter&#8212;after years of believing that she was unable to understand or communicate with him.

At the age of two, Carly Fleischmann was diagnosed with severe autism and an oral motor condition that prevented her from speaking. Doctors predicted that she would never intellectually develop beyond the abilities of a small child. Carly remained largely unreachable through the years. Then, at the age of ten, she had a breakthrough.

While working with her devoted therapists, Carly reached over to their laptop and typed &#8220;HELP TEETH HURT,&#8221; much to everyone&#8217;s astonishment. Although Carly still struggles with all the symptoms of autism, she now has regular, witty, and profound conversations on the computer with her family and her many thousands of supporters online.

One of the first books to explore firsthand the challenges of living with autism, Carly&#8217;s Voice brings readers inside a once-secret world in the company of an inspiring young woman who has found her voice and her mission...more

Paperback, 400 pages

Published
September 18th 2012
by Touchstone
(first published March 17th 2012)

Community Reviews

My feelings are always a little torn about books like this one -- the "autism miracle" memoir. I've read many, many of them and to me, as the parent of a severely autistic boy, they can be both encouraging and hugely discouraging. It's great to see the enormous strides that kids can make with the right intervention. However, not all kids respond in the same ways to the same treatments. It is to the Fleischmanns' credit that they do not suggest otherwise in this book. Unlike some other books of iMy feelings are always a little torn about books like this one -- the "autism miracle" memoir. I've read many, many of them and to me, as the parent of a severely autistic boy, they can be both encouraging and hugely discouraging. It's great to see the enormous strides that kids can make with the right intervention. However, not all kids respond in the same ways to the same treatments. It is to the Fleischmanns' credit that they do not suggest otherwise in this book. Unlike some other books of its type, they do not evangelize for any particular diet, medication, alternative treatment, ABA, whatever ... They only explain what helped Carly. They don't make sweeping claims of "cures" that will work for any autistic kid. As a mom that has tried many of these "cures" with limited success at best, I appreciate that.

Part of the value of this book is the unsparing look it gives into the life of a family with a severely autistic kid, specifically one who is doing intensive ABA. The mysterious and violent tantrums, the sleepless nights, the broken furniture -- it's comforting in a way to know that there's someone out there who's living in the same chaotic conditions that you are. Fleischmann describes the social isolation these families endure on the one hand--you feel overwhelmed, afraid and just generally unwelcome when you try to engage in public activities with your kid--and the extreme lack of privacy on the other. Intensive home-based ABA and the necessity of homeschooling kids with severe behaviors means a constant stream of therapists, tutors, consultants and others in and out of your house, pretty much nonstop for years, and lots of times it feels like parenting by committee. I really, really appreciate that Fleischmann describes how exhausting and dispiriting this can be, instead of casting himself and his wife as Perfect Superparents. Again, it's nice to know that I'm not the only one who has felt this way. If you want to know what life is like for the family of a severely autistic and behavioral kid, read this book.

And then of course there is Carly. I think she will do a lot to dispel the idea that severely autistic individuals have nothing to offer the rest of us. And she gives neurotypical people valuable insight into what it is like to live with her condition. The fact that she began communicating with her parents at a relatively late age, and that it was a long process to get from those first few words to where she is today, is also encouraging. My son Sam is 12, and has limited expressive verbal abilities, but he is getting better at it, tiny step by tiny step. Thanks to his homeschooling and ABA program, Sam's behaviors have improved dramatically. I may never be able to have a conversation with him, but I'm not going to give up hope that his verbal abilities will get stronger....more

"...Carly's affliction was like a blob of mercury: visible and dense and real, but try to grab it and it jumped from our grasp."

Every now and then I decide to read a book about autism. Sometimes I pick a book to learn new strategies or methods, while other times I pick a book that I know I will find inspiring. Carly's Voice: Breaking Through Autism fell into both categories. I was definitely inspired by Carly's plight; however, I also learned a surprising amount of information. Even though the"...Carly's affliction was like a blob of mercury: visible and dense and real, but try to grab it and it jumped from our grasp."

Every now and then I decide to read a book about autism. Sometimes I pick a book to learn new strategies or methods, while other times I pick a book that I know I will find inspiring. Carly's Voice: Breaking Through Autism fell into both categories. I was definitely inspired by Carly's plight; however, I also learned a surprising amount of information. Even though the majority of the book is written by Carly's father, Arthur Fleischmann, the parts where Carly is the narrator were extremely insightful. There is something to be said when a person with autism is given the means to communicate. What an effective way to get an important message across.

"I hate or maybe a better word is dislike the way so called experts try to explain the world of autism. If a horse is sick you don't ask a fish what's wrong with the horse. You go right to the horse['s] mouth."

*****

"My mom asked me a question that no one ever asks me. What do I want? I want not to feel what's happening in my body. I want to stay at home. I want to be like every other kid."

This book is definitely an encouraging read for those families who live with autism. I am the mother of a 4 year old boy who has been diagnosed with autism. While my son is not as severely autistic, and does not have nearly the behavioral issues that Carly has, there are many similarities between the two. Like Carly's parents, my husband and I have so many questions regarding our son. All these why questions without any answers. We know our son is intelligent and are always trying new ways to break through. These kids work harder than any other children. They fight just to get through the day. The fact that my son, at 4 years of age, has countless hours of therapy, is a credit to his amazing strength and fortitude.

While reading Carly's Voice I also found many similarities between my family and the issues this family writes about such as the plethora of therapists and specialists, the constant demand of our attention and care while worrying about neglecting our neuro-typical daughter, and so forth. No matter where a child falls on the spectrum, autism is a difficult condition to live with, whether you are the one with the diagnosis, or the family trying to help and cope with it. Autism drains a family in every way, but with support of family, friends, and the specialists who have a passion for working with those afflicted with the disorder, life can become manageable and hope for progress and improvement remains strong.

Overall, this is a wonderful read and definitely a must read for those living with autism....more

Although this isn't the most well-written book, it is definitely a must-read for anyone interested in autism. The first half is a bit of a slog, but we need to read through the tedious medical testing, psychologists' visits, and hours of therapy in order to understand how amazing Carly Fleischmann is. The sections she wrote are hilarious and insightful, and I commend the entire family for being brave enough to share their story with the world. Carly's father Arthur, who wrote the majority of theAlthough this isn't the most well-written book, it is definitely a must-read for anyone interested in autism. The first half is a bit of a slog, but we need to read through the tedious medical testing, psychologists' visits, and hours of therapy in order to understand how amazing Carly Fleischmann is. The sections she wrote are hilarious and insightful, and I commend the entire family for being brave enough to share their story with the world. Carly's father Arthur, who wrote the majority of the book, is honest about the times he lost his temper, and Carly (presumably) allowed him to share her more embarrassing behaviors such as bedwetting and tantruming. The honesty is necessary for readers to comprehend the daily struggle of autism, and we can then share in their triumph as Carly finds a way to communicate....more

I thought the book was co-written. Or that it had more from Carly. But it didn't. And that kinda sucks. For some reason when reading it I really didn't like the Dad. And I can't put my finger on why. It wasn't because he tried to play "super dad" or that he got frustrated and yelled at (because of) Carly. I almost felt like he was writing it more for a financial gain than to try and promote either autism awareness or the AWESOME accomplishment that Carly was able to do. But, I can't really findI thought the book was co-written. Or that it had more from Carly. But it didn't. And that kinda sucks. For some reason when reading it I really didn't like the Dad. And I can't put my finger on why. It wasn't because he tried to play "super dad" or that he got frustrated and yelled at (because of) Carly. I almost felt like he was writing it more for a financial gain than to try and promote either autism awareness or the AWESOME accomplishment that Carly was able to do. But, I can't really find a good reason for thinking that way, that's just how I felt.The one thing that was odd for me and I am tempted to tweet Carly to see if there is a response (I probably won't) . . . .In her speeches she thanks her Dad, but not her Mom. And I'm not sure why she didn't. Was it an oversight? Her Mom did lots, plus she's "Mom" and I don't know. It was weird.To sum it up, what Carly did was AWESOME and it's amazing what determination and money can bring you. It's sad that children with special needs (whatever they may be) don't live to their full potential because their parents can't devote themselves or they simply can't come up with the finances to make it happen. ...more

There have been many fiction books released that feature an autistic protagonist - The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time, Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend and just recently Love Anthony. I've read all three and really enjoyed them. Each author has brought their own 'version' of Autism and Autism spectrum to the written page.

But Arthur Fleischmann and his daughter Carly Fleischmann bring more than an imagined protagonist to the written page. Carly's Voice is an absolutely riveting memoThere have been many fiction books released that feature an autistic protagonist - The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time, Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend and just recently Love Anthony. I've read all three and really enjoyed them. Each author has brought their own 'version' of Autism and Autism spectrum to the written page.

But Arthur Fleischmann and his daughter Carly Fleischmann bring more than an imagined protagonist to the written page. Carly's Voice is an absolutely riveting memoir recounted by a father and his autistic daughter.

Arthur and his wife Tammy are overjoyed when they give birth to twin daughters. With son Matthew their family is complete. Taryn meets her milestones and thrives.....but, Carly doesn't. Carly is non verbal and severely autistic. What follows is an exhaustive tale of appointments, diagnoses, therapies, frustrations, and more. (Mom Tammy is fighting cancer as well.) I just could not even begin to fathom what the Fleishmanns went through. Arthur and Tammy are tireless advocates; determined to do whatever they can to help their daughter.

"Carly has autism. Three short words must suffice to explain a tome of weird behaviours and limitations. It's a shorthand for Carly-is-different-she-acts-in-odd-ways-she-loves-taking-off-her-clothes-especially-if-what-she-is-wearing-has-a-spot-of-water-on-it-she-likes repetitive-motion-like-that-of-a-swing-she doesn't speak. We didn't know what Carly knew and what she was incapable of knowing. She made odd movements and sounds and covered her ears when it was noisy. She cried often. And she never, ever stopped moving. Never."

And, in one of those 'what if we hadn't' moments....Carly types...Help Teeth Hurt. Although Carly was able to point to pictures for what she wanted, no one had any idea that she was able to communicate in this fashion. And at last Carly has a voice - she is finally able to 'speak'. But Carly's story doesn't end there - her fight to control her body, her desire to live like any other teenage girl, her family's dedication to helping Carly be the best she can be is an ongoing, uphill battle. And you won't believe the places it's take her....so far.

"What keeps us moving forward? Sometimes its just inertia. But we keep sight of Carly's dream to be accepted. She wants to live life fully, accomplish great things, and not be pitied. She just wants to be understood. What else can we do? We get up in the morning when the alarm goes off. And never accept 'no' or maybe."

I really couldn't put the book down. I was so humbled and inspired by Carly. As I type this up using all of my fingers, I am struck by the image of Carly labouriously typing one letter at a time with one finger while trying to control her body's spasms.

Carly is an inspiration to all, but especially to those who are living with, coping with or touched by autism. For those who haven't got a clue - it's an eye opener. Highly recommended.

"I am an autistic girl but autism doesn't define who I am or how I'm going to live my life." Carly.

This book was hard to rate because the information was great but the delivery was not so great. Carly's story is certainly one written to inspire and give hope to other parents who have children with autism, particularly those children who are non-verbal. I absolutely admire and honor what this family has accomplished!

The message, "Don't give up . . . ever!" is great. I do believe that oftentimes the abilities of disabled students are underestimated. It's a tragedy, really. I enjoyed the fact tThis book was hard to rate because the information was great but the delivery was not so great. Carly's story is certainly one written to inspire and give hope to other parents who have children with autism, particularly those children who are non-verbal. I absolutely admire and honor what this family has accomplished!

The message, "Don't give up . . . ever!" is great. I do believe that oftentimes the abilities of disabled students are underestimated. It's a tragedy, really. I enjoyed the fact that Mr. Fleischmann was willing to explore his failings, doubts, etc. of being a parent. All parents have flaws. I can't even begin to understand what these parents went through in rearing Carly. The fact that they stayed together was incredible. I loved that they were very realistic in how much they could handle. Carly full-time? Nope. Sounds like too much for ANYONE to handle. But whatever they pursued for Carly, they did it full-force. Awesome.

What made the reading difficult was the lack of a timeline. It seemed to bounce around, and I would get confused as to how old Carly was when different things were happening. This could have been solved easily by including a timeline with age, school, etc. Or, maybe the chapters could have been broken down that way.

Some parts in this book were simply unbelievable. But I guess that is part of why the story has been told. To have a non-verbal autistic child with extreme behavior suddenly begin typing at 10 and able to communicate. But what made it questionable is how she would never type for family, only for certain therapists. Doesn't that beg the question could they be doing the thinking and typing for her? I know I could do extensive research online and on youtube about this, but I simply don't have the time. I felt the book left that open to debate which is very odd!

**SPOILER ALERT** (Do not read past this point)

The part about the alleged sexual assault was strange too. How can parents of a minor receive so little information about what happened? And then, while explaining her allegations, the dad decides to mention that Carly has been known to lie before. Why wasn't that brought up much earlier? Again, doubt seeps in, and Fleischmann did little to prove the case. Could the accusations have been Carly's way to guilt trip her parents into keeping her at home more?

Another unclear aspect was if any of Carly's typings were voiced. It only mentioned a machine at the end that would speak what she typed. Did she use it often? If so, when?

I will probably be raked over the coals for stating these things, but I am just writing my reactions, how I felt as the reader. The author needed to make a more powerful case for Carly's ability. It all seemed so vague. By the end of the book, was she typing in front of her family members? If everything in the book isl true, then I'm an idiot. But then, the father should have been more convincing in his writing and left me absolutely certain about who Carly is, what she has been through, and what she can do.

I would love to hear from Taryn now. What was her experience as the sister of Carly. That's a tale worth reading!

OH MY GOODNESS! This was probably the best book I've read in a long time.

I was lead to a YouTube video on Carly by a friend and that lead me to this book. This book is about a young girl, a twin in fact, who suffers from autism. And not her twin, sadly. Her parents were amazing supports to her and tried every type of education they could get. The dad often lay beside Carly at night to keep her calm but she was so disturbed in her sleep patterns that he got little sleep. She had no verbal skillsOH MY GOODNESS! This was probably the best book I've read in a long time.

I was lead to a YouTube video on Carly by a friend and that lead me to this book. This book is about a young girl, a twin in fact, who suffers from autism. And not her twin, sadly. Her parents were amazing supports to her and tried every type of education they could get. The dad often lay beside Carly at night to keep her calm but she was so disturbed in her sleep patterns that he got little sleep. She had no verbal skills but one day at 10 years of age, she suddenly goes to some sort of typing machine and types out HURT TEETH HELP. Suddenly everyone was aware at how much she knew and could communicate.

she has this amazing ability to hear EVERYTHING around her, assimilate it, and act like none of this is effecting her. Her vocabulary is incredible. Her humor was something I'd like to have. She needed a voice and for her bat mitzvah she asked Ellen DeGeneres to be her 'voice' and read her speech. She's been interviewed my Larry King and probably others.

I came away with a total different view of autism. Not that I could handle such a child but I now understand them so much better. I suggested it as a summer read to our book club as well. I would highly recommend this to everyone....more

I wasn't looking for this book, it just caught my eye one evening as I was walking in Chapters with my kids. The book seemed inspirational, and I was in the mood to be inspired. I don't know anything about autism nor do I know anyone who has autism, yet I couldn't help but read through this book so quickly. I looked forward to every page as the Fleischmann family took on the challenges of living with Carly. I also enjoyed Mr. Fleischmann's honest writings, his descriptions of personal feelings,I wasn't looking for this book, it just caught my eye one evening as I was walking in Chapters with my kids. The book seemed inspirational, and I was in the mood to be inspired. I don't know anything about autism nor do I know anyone who has autism, yet I couldn't help but read through this book so quickly. I looked forward to every page as the Fleischmann family took on the challenges of living with Carly. I also enjoyed Mr. Fleischmann's honest writings, his descriptions of personal feelings, the struggles of his wife. I found the story and the writing style kept me glued to the book until I could finish it. I loved the story of Ellen DeGeneres reading Carly's letter and yet the story of Carly being abused was heartbreaking. The sections where IMs from Carly are mixed in here and there in the story, a nice touch. Also, I liked that Carly wrote the ending chapter, and her writings are insightful yet humourous. If you deal with autism, I suspect this book can be quite useful. But even if you don't deal with autism, you can't help but be touched by this story. ...more

Early reviews of Carly's Voice tout it as a "must-read for those living with autism". I personally place this book amidst the many other great memoirs I have read - and I have no doubt it will eventually become one of the big celebrity memoirs, too.For me, a huge part of the book is how it depicts a very real and beautiful family story. Picture the Fleischmanns standing together, arms linked in a tight, not always comfortable, circle. Five people looking in at each other with intelligent, compasEarly reviews of Carly's Voice tout it as a "must-read for those living with autism". I personally place this book amidst the many other great memoirs I have read - and I have no doubt it will eventually become one of the big celebrity memoirs, too.For me, a huge part of the book is how it depicts a very real and beautiful family story. Picture the Fleischmanns standing together, arms linked in a tight, not always comfortable, circle. Five people looking in at each other with intelligent, compassionate, and sometimes very tired and very sad, eyes. They work to solve the problems at hand and take time to celebrate the joys and blessings under their roof. The miracle is how they then turn their eyes outward to work with and advocate for others in need - and not just those on the autism spectrum, but anywhere help is needed. Carly once wrote about tzedakah because she knew of it firsthand; because it was something she, her parents and siblings had lived.Another amazing thing about this book, about this girl, is how by the time Carly finds an outlet for her voice (I can't say "finds her voice" because she too clearly was born with that intact) she expresses herself without hesitation, without neuroses, without the guile and self-deprecation so common to those her own age. It's not that Carly isn't aware of how the majority of teenage girls communicate, it's just that she eschews it in her own form of self-expression. This is a girl on a mission and Carly instinctively knows how to be persuasive and how to get a point across.Carly also knows how to make you laugh, how to explain complex things, and how to lay bare an inner life in almost poetic terms. One of my personal favourite things is the way she signs her letters - so revealing, so impactful, and just so freaking cute. Arthur's style is straight-shooting, engaging, and witty. Anyone with a family can relate to and learn from their experience. Don't miss this treasure. ...more

I wanted to like this book more than I did. Carly's story is amazing, and it should definitely be told. But something about her father's telling of it didn't work for me.

He went on and on about how horrible and difficult their lives were because of Carly's condition (autism). While I sympathize (and empathize a bit, too), it bothered me for two reasons. 1. I'm sure Carly doesn't enjoy knowing that her father complains about her for an entire book. 2. This family appeared to have a nanny and theI wanted to like this book more than I did. Carly's story is amazing, and it should definitely be told. But something about her father's telling of it didn't work for me.

He went on and on about how horrible and difficult their lives were because of Carly's condition (autism). While I sympathize (and empathize a bit, too), it bothered me for two reasons. 1. I'm sure Carly doesn't enjoy knowing that her father complains about her for an entire book. 2. This family appeared to have a nanny and therapists who were on the clock practically 24/7. When did Mr. Fleischmann actually have to deal with Carly? Most parents of children with autism get little to no respite. So it was hard for me to relate to their predicament, since it seems they got so much more help and support than anyone I know of. (Though I admit, I don't know the severity of her condition nor have I lived their life, so it could be as bad as he implies.)

Though frankly, it sounded like the mom was the one who dealt with Carly while the dad went off to work every day, anyway. So, I just didn't understand why he hit that point home so hard. I think it would have been more genuine if the mom had written the book instead.

And the book could have used a more diligent editor. There are parts that get repeated in multiple chapters that could have been fixed by an editor quite easily.

With that said, Carly's story is inspiring. That her family, therapists, and Carly herself stuck with things so long to get to the point where she could communicate is amazing. She went through a lot of heartache (In fact, there's a heartbreaking chapter that deals with a parent's worse nightmare - sexual abuse.), and her triumph is all the more impressive because of it.

I would say that it's definitely an inspiring story worth reading, despite my general criticisms of the book. ...more

I was looking forward to reading this book to find out how the "family and autistic child" really feels. it was truly enlightening. We see from one end. while they live it daily. Im grateful that the Fleishman's wrote this book and I highly recommend that all families who work with or live with autistic children/adults read this book. We are NOT alone. There are resources out thete, but you need to tee educate yourselves and get the assistance you need. i wush Carly the best of luck in her futurI was looking forward to reading this book to find out how the "family and autistic child" really feels. it was truly enlightening. We see from one end. while they live it daily. Im grateful that the Fleishman's wrote this book and I highly recommend that all families who work with or live with autistic children/adults read this book. We are NOT alone. There are resources out thete, but you need to tee educate yourselves and get the assistance you need. i wush Carly the best of luck in her future endeavors! When is your next book coming out?...more

This book reaffirms what I already believe as an educator working with children on the spectrum--that they are smart and capable and that we have to encourage them to get their voices heard. Carly's story isn't remarkable because she is the only smart nonverbal person with autism. There are many smart people whom we underestimate because of their differences. However, she is one of the few to whom people are listening. hopefully her father's story will inspire people to listen more carefully toThis book reaffirms what I already believe as an educator working with children on the spectrum--that they are smart and capable and that we have to encourage them to get their voices heard. Carly's story isn't remarkable because she is the only smart nonverbal person with autism. There are many smart people whom we underestimate because of their differences. However, she is one of the few to whom people are listening. hopefully her father's story will inspire people to listen more carefully to other children with disabilities instead of relying on outdated stigma-filled interpretations of their realities....more

AMAZING! Thank you to the Fleischmann family for candidly sharing their journey! As a mom of a kids w/ASD, I am very thankful to Carly for shedding light on some important yet mysterious things about autism - audio filtering, stimming, etc.. I am so happy that Carly found her inner voice and really believe this to be one of the most influential and amazing stories I have ever read!

My rating is for the storytelling more than the writing. As the parent of a nonverbal child with autism, so much of these experiences mirror my own. And Carly's breakthroughs and progress give me hope for my own daughter. This book is honest, and because of that, it was hard to read at times, but it's a better book for the lack of sugar coating.

This book is the greatest example of why presuming competency is SO IMPORTANT. The first part of the book made me very upset as it was all about how Carly's family thought she was slow, they talked about her in front of her, sent her to places she didn't like going. They treated her like so many disabled people are treated: like pets with no thoughts or opinions. Once Carly was able to communicate they realized how intelligent and human she was. This needs to be the view of all disabled people.This book is the greatest example of why presuming competency is SO IMPORTANT. The first part of the book made me very upset as it was all about how Carly's family thought she was slow, they talked about her in front of her, sent her to places she didn't like going. They treated her like so many disabled people are treated: like pets with no thoughts or opinions. Once Carly was able to communicate they realized how intelligent and human she was. This needs to be the view of all disabled people. A lack of speech doesn't mean a lack of understanding. There is no harm done in assuming competence; if someone is not able to understand, nothing is lost. Treating someone like a perpetual child, however, is deeply painful and demeaning to the person. ...more

This is an incredible book! I believe EVERYONE needs to listen to this audiobook. There are so many people affected by Autism in someway or another and this father/daughter duo opens the world's eyes to the reality of what it's like for the family & child living with Autism experience. Carly Fleischmann is an amazing young woman who lives with severe Autism, and despite that, she is such an inspiration to all. Her first person account of what day-to-day life is like for her is so insightful.This is an incredible book! I believe EVERYONE needs to listen to this audiobook. There are so many people affected by Autism in someway or another and this father/daughter duo opens the world's eyes to the reality of what it's like for the family & child living with Autism experience. Carly Fleischmann is an amazing young woman who lives with severe Autism, and despite that, she is such an inspiration to all. Her first person account of what day-to-day life is like for her is so insightful. I can't wait to see how influential this determined young will become. She is destined to do big things and I am so impressed with her accomplishments already. This girl has touched my heart and I am forever changed. Thank you #Carly! ...more

Clearly I am in the minority, but I really disliked this book. I gave it two stars rather than one, only because if you can wade through the thing and manage to take in Carly's story without being bogged down by the tedium or the ablest tone, then perhaps it is worth a read?

The book is a slog, to be sure: filled with trite similes, boring doctor's reports, and a seemingly rote recitation of the sequence of events; it is poorly written and in desperate need of revision and editing. And, while theClearly I am in the minority, but I really disliked this book. I gave it two stars rather than one, only because if you can wade through the thing and manage to take in Carly's story without being bogged down by the tedium or the ablest tone, then perhaps it is worth a read?

The book is a slog, to be sure: filled with trite similes, boring doctor's reports, and a seemingly rote recitation of the sequence of events; it is poorly written and in desperate need of revision and editing. And, while there is no doubt that Carly is a bright, interesting young woman with a story is worth sharing (I’ve followed her story since 2009, moved and enlightened by her ability to articulate her experience as a person with autism), I do feel it would have been better shared by Carly herself or, if not by Carly, then by Howard or Barb; or, perhaps, by anyone other than Arthur Fleischmann, who, through the first half of the book, reads as insufferably self-foccused, resentful, completely lacking in perspective, and shamefully unable to see his daughter's worth.

This quote, from about a third of the way through the book, neatly summarizes Arthur's attitude toward Carly before she is able to demonstrate that she can communicate in a way he values:

"Carly was autism. Autism, tantrums and neediness. When you raise a severely disabled child, you begin see the flaws above all else."

I have two severely disabled children, one of whom has autism (among other encumbrances), communicates using primarily non-verbal means, and has similar behavioural expression to Carly, but I can't relate to this at all. I don't see my kids as flawed, at least any more so than myself or anyone else. They were born with bodies that make their lives far more challenging, but flawed? There is a value judgement in that that I’m not willing to make. Language choice aside, a child with autism, is not autism, full stop, and I feel heartbroken for the child whose parent can't see beyond that and celebrate their strengths as well. Yet Fleischmann—after recounting what he characterizes as sweet, funny childhood moments of Carly's siblings—shares that he can't pick a single moment from Carly's childhood where he felt enchanted by her in some way. It’s also telling that Fleischmann illustrates moments Carly shares with others (Howard and Tarynn, in particular) that show she is able to connect and form meaningful relationships (long before she is able to use her "inner voice”), all the while questioning her ability to connect because he feels no connection to her.

I read a wonderful quote recently, attributed to Ellen Notbohn: "When someone says that a child with autism can be hard to connect with, I smile and reply, 'you can be sure she feels the same about you.'" Take a hint, Fleischmann: your daughter is not the problem.

I know first hand how challenging it is to raise a very complex child, but there is so much more to our kids than their struggles. As parents, we need the freedom to share how those struggles shape our experiences, not only to find the sense of connection, belonging and understanding often found only with other parents who are or have been there, but also to help the world at large understand, and value and thus make room for our kids. That said, we owe it to our kids to safeguard their dignity while we do, and I think this book falls short in that regard.

The second half of the book is less problematic: Fleischmann comes to value his daughter once she is able to share her world in a way he struggles less to understand, and as he gets to know her, he becomes less self-centred and certainly more empathetic. His storytelling becomes a little more natural in the second half, and so slightly more readable, but I will confess that by the time I got there, I was ready to skim; and skim I did, pausing here and there to read more reflectively where Carly's letters to Ellen and others were shared.

It was refreshing to finally get to Carly's chapter, and I won't spoil it by sharing any of it here, but the opening paragraph had me laughing hard. Carly: you hit the nail on the head. No, I don’t think you are joking; and, yes, I will read your book when you write one.

I was really looking forward to this book, for Carly’s story is an inspiring one, but the lack of a relatable (or even likeable) primary narrator really ruined it for me, as did the framing of the story, which does a great disservice to people who, unlike Carly, cannot use their "inner voice;" the underlying message being that people are not valuable unless they have measurable intellectual capacity. (There is a passage in the book where Carly laments people treating her like she is dumb and here you can see the extent to which Carly herself has internalized this message.)

If you are like me, and you read reviews after you have read a book, and if you happen to be reading this one, stop for a second and consider what Arthur Fleischmann’s attitude toward Carly would be today if she hadn’t found the means to communicate in a way he could understand. I feel reasonably sure he would still be steeped in resentment toward her, and that, I find heartbreaking....more

It was definitely an interesting journey. The author is Carly's father and steps you through her early childhood and diagnosis and the struggles a parent faces when bringing up a child who doesn't understand anything going on around them who will randomly scream and is barely able to accomplish simple tasks like getting dressed.

Throughout all of Carly's childhood her teachers are trying to find ways to help her communicate her basic needs and feelings, but it's not until she is entering her teenIt was definitely an interesting journey. The author is Carly's father and steps you through her early childhood and diagnosis and the struggles a parent faces when bringing up a child who doesn't understand anything going on around them who will randomly scream and is barely able to accomplish simple tasks like getting dressed.

Throughout all of Carly's childhood her teachers are trying to find ways to help her communicate her basic needs and feelings, but it's not until she is entering her teen years that starts typing. That's when her family realizes that there is actually a very intelligent girl hidden behind the autism. She understands and absorbs everything around her, and through typing she is able to communicate with her family and the people in her life.

This book was very eye opening about what autism is and what it's like living in and around the body of a person with autism.

To be honest, I was expecting a lot more from Carly's perspective, but it was still a very good read, and fascinating to see the mind behind a person that society looks at as an empty shell....more

This book has given me a lot to think about. I appreciate the honesty of Arthur Fleischmann and think his and his wife's journey and feelings as parents of a non-verbal autistic are important to share. But that is not the main message of this book. The message to really take in is Carly's. There are accounts of Autism going back centuries and in 2012 Carly Fleischmann showed that what we thought WAS WRONG. They are locked inside themselves, unable to speak, unable to ask for help, and all this tThis book has given me a lot to think about. I appreciate the honesty of Arthur Fleischmann and think his and his wife's journey and feelings as parents of a non-verbal autistic are important to share. But that is not the main message of this book. The message to really take in is Carly's. There are accounts of Autism going back centuries and in 2012 Carly Fleischmann showed that what we thought WAS WRONG. They are locked inside themselves, unable to speak, unable to ask for help, and all this time understanding EVERY SINGLE THING we say. It is chilling to imagine them screaming inside at us while we just go about our days around them without any awareness of what they are going through. Carly Fleischmann can change the entire course of Autism Treatment. Since reading this book I have really thought about what I say in front of my son. I also don't say things like "He can only do_________" or "He will never do________" because I know better now. Thank you Carly. You are a true hero!...more

This book is a real page-turner. Heart-wrenching in its honesty, the reader is taken through the lives of a family living with a child (now teen) with a poorly-understood diagnosis. The reader feels Mr. Fleischmann and his wife's frustrations, anger, and joy as he tells the story of his nonverbal and autistic daughter, who it was thought would never understand the world around her, spontaneously begin to type. Through her communications her therapists, family, and the reader learn what it feelsThis book is a real page-turner. Heart-wrenching in its honesty, the reader is taken through the lives of a family living with a child (now teen) with a poorly-understood diagnosis. The reader feels Mr. Fleischmann and his wife's frustrations, anger, and joy as he tells the story of his nonverbal and autistic daughter, who it was thought would never understand the world around her, spontaneously begin to type. Through her communications her therapists, family, and the reader learn what it feels like to be as severely autistic as she is. We also learn the extent to which she understands the world around her.

I saw a profile of the Fleischmann family on YouTube, and liked her Facebook page and followed her on Twitter shortly thereafter. She's a witty teen (with a bit of teen attitude too), and this book was the perfect companion to what I knew of Carly and her family. I was impressed with the inclusion of Carly's mum and other siblings in the story, as sometimes these important characters are left out of memoirs of this nature. Carly contributes to the book herself, thereby giving both sides of the story.

I know several people with autism, and still many more with other intellectual disabilities, so I think I approached this book with an open and somewhat enlightened mind. I don't see Carly as amazing, but I see her accomplishments that way. I'd really like to chat with her if given the chance; she seems to be both a very wise and very intelligent person.

This is a great book to read, regardless of one's connection (or lack thereof) with autism. Make sure you get yourself a copy....more

I spent 8 hours today starting and finishing this book, and I am truly overwhelmed.

Sometimes when schoolwork overwhelms me, and/or I feel lost in life, I need a kick in my behind to remind me why I'm doing what I'm doing. It's for people like Carly, not just ASD individuals, but mental abnormalities in general have been neglected for long enough. This book really does reaffirm all my reasons to pursue neuropsychology.

On the other hand, the book had no general theme or thesis. A lot of the bookI spent 8 hours today starting and finishing this book, and I am truly overwhelmed.

Sometimes when schoolwork overwhelms me, and/or I feel lost in life, I need a kick in my behind to remind me why I'm doing what I'm doing. It's for people like Carly, not just ASD individuals, but mental abnormalities in general have been neglected for long enough. This book really does reaffirm all my reasons to pursue neuropsychology.

On the other hand, the book had no general theme or thesis. A lot of the book was foggy, and the chronology is a little warped. Many events were smudged by hindsight and that signature parental bias and protectiveness when it comes to their children. It's brilliant. It's what makes the book real. The whirlpool of descending chaos, the messed-up-ness of life, the overwhelming tornado of responsibilities and suffocatingly limited options. It's so clouded with emotion that it's true. Organized chaos only exists in fictional novels, hence why I tend to avoid them.

This was such a multifaceted journey that I am truly amazed that it's been captured so completely in only 400 pages. It's a beautiful sad and happy story. It made me laugh, made me cry, and was just so inspiring...

So thank you for allowing me to gluttonously devour in a few hours the wisdom you've accumulated in your lifetime. ...more

I really appreciated Arthur's brutal honesty in the writing of this book... he is not an author by trade, but he did an amazing job. Between his candid recounting of his experiences, and the way he wove in Carly's perspective from conversations she had with him and others throughout the years, I was captivated with their struggles and successes. She contributed the final chapter, which is the crowning jewel of the book. I highly recommend Carly's Voice, especially if you know someone with autismI really appreciated Arthur's brutal honesty in the writing of this book... he is not an author by trade, but he did an amazing job. Between his candid recounting of his experiences, and the way he wove in Carly's perspective from conversations she had with him and others throughout the years, I was captivated with their struggles and successes. She contributed the final chapter, which is the crowning jewel of the book. I highly recommend Carly's Voice, especially if you know someone with autism, but even if you do not. It would take a truly hardened soul not to be moved by the heartbreak and hope she has experienced....more

I was hoping to read more of Carly's account of her life prior to spelling and her skill development after learning spelling. I was disappointed that most of the book is her father's writing and her father's narrative.

I was shocked to read Carly's father's account of leaving Carly out of vacations, not because I was surprised that a parent would do that, but because he wrote about it as if he didn't regret it. In later chapters, he makes it clear that he does regret such choices, but I wish heI was hoping to read more of Carly's account of her life prior to spelling and her skill development after learning spelling. I was disappointed that most of the book is her father's writing and her father's narrative.

I was shocked to read Carly's father's account of leaving Carly out of vacations, not because I was surprised that a parent would do that, but because he wrote about it as if he didn't regret it. In later chapters, he makes it clear that he does regret such choices, but I wish he hadn't presented those choices as if they were in accordance with being a loving parent. It's not loving to think of your child as an inconvenience, ever. No matter the disability, your disabled child's disability is much more difficult for them than for you. Period. I had to skip several of the chapters that took place prior to Carly's learning to spell because I couldn't stomach her father's seeming lack of empathy in those chapters. (And neurotypicals say we autistic people lack empathy...)

I gave this book three stars because the chapters taking place after Carly's learning to spell do demonstrate her father's empathy, and his remorse for having thought of her as a burden.

I look forward to when Carly Fleischmann's own book, which she writes about in the epilogue, is released....more

I originally connected through this through a video of Carly on Youtube. With a 5 year old son with Autism(non-verbal) I was extremely interested. On one side of the story it is both inspiring and amusing and heartwarming. Although it comes at a cost of a lot of frustration, time and money. Much of the first half is of Arthur's point of view of a parent coping and battling Autism and other issues Carly has. They had to deal Canadian health care and education system to assist. The second half weI originally connected through this through a video of Carly on Youtube. With a 5 year old son with Autism(non-verbal) I was extremely interested. On one side of the story it is both inspiring and amusing and heartwarming. Although it comes at a cost of a lot of frustration, time and money. Much of the first half is of Arthur's point of view of a parent coping and battling Autism and other issues Carly has. They had to deal Canadian health care and education system to assist. The second half we see Carly blossoming after her break through. She is more intelligent and witty than anyone imagined. It's a wonderful picture inside the mind of someone with Autism. I myself often wonder what's inside the head of my giggling non-verbal son. I know someone is in there but would love to reach them.

One thing that bothered me was the undertone of complaining about assistance from the system. I had to wonder how it was the afforded a nanny and usually a therapist or two in tow most of the time. Once maybe they described they were upper-middle class. This can be discouraging cause most kids I imagine can't afford an entourage to assist them. One has to wonder whether Arthur appreciates what he had. No doubt it's not easy as I can understand.

I do recommend this book as for it does give hope and helps to understand the mind going inside an Autistic person. ...more

Carly's story is truly amazing and also heartbreaking. She has autism and is non verbal but has learned to communicate with the help of technology allowing her to spell out what she wants to say. There have been news programs about her, but none of which compare to the full story of the struggle both her and all around her have been through and all the work they have put in to get her where she is. Students with disabilities are truly exceptional and there's nothing like hearing it directly fromCarly's story is truly amazing and also heartbreaking. She has autism and is non verbal but has learned to communicate with the help of technology allowing her to spell out what she wants to say. There have been news programs about her, but none of which compare to the full story of the struggle both her and all around her have been through and all the work they have put in to get her where she is. Students with disabilities are truly exceptional and there's nothing like hearing it directly from them....more

A book that describes autism in it's fiercest form, a miracle breakthrough but certainly not a miracle "cure". The voice of a father is a nice change, but like many autism miracle books leaves those who identify and understand because they are living the same life feeling both encouraged and inadequate, wondering where their child's voice is hiding. this family had incredible resources and support through their daughters childhood that most families do not.

A friend of mine recommended this book to me. Her son is autistic, and while she hasn't read it yet, she heard it was really good. It took me forever to find this book in a used book store! As much as I wanted it, I'm still really cheap when it comes to buying books, and I rarely buy them new. But I finally found it! I was pretty excited to start it, so right when I finished the one I was currently reading, I started this! I don't read a lot of non-fiction, so I wasn't sure how I'd like it, butA friend of mine recommended this book to me. Her son is autistic, and while she hasn't read it yet, she heard it was really good. It took me forever to find this book in a used book store! As much as I wanted it, I'm still really cheap when it comes to buying books, and I rarely buy them new. But I finally found it! I was pretty excited to start it, so right when I finished the one I was currently reading, I started this! I don't read a lot of non-fiction, so I wasn't sure how I'd like it, but it turns out I really loved it!

The book sucked me in from the first pages. Hearing Arthur talk about the struggles that his daughter is facing is very moving. But it doesn't only focus on her; he talks about the struggles the rest of his family faces, what its like for his other two kids to grow up with an autistic sibling, the daily struggles his wife handles while being home all day, and what its like being a dad to a girl that you don't understand.

For anyone facing these struggles, I'm humbled. I can't imagine not being able to communicate my needs and wants. It has got to be so incredibly frustrating, not only for the caregivers of an autistic person, but for that person him/herself. This book definitely makes me realize how much everyone takes for granted the little things we do on a daily basis, like dress ourselves, tie our shoes, comb our hair. These little things aren't easy for kids/people with autism and they have to work so hard to accomplish everything they do.

I think this book gives a very real life portrayal of what daily life is like for a family caring for someone with autism. These people are so very strong and though they could give up, send their child to a home, put the responsibility on someone else, they don't. They fight through their frustrations and fight for their child. I definitely think this is a great book for anyone wanting to learn more about autism. We are able to see inside the mind of a child with this disorder, and its truly eye-opening.

If you want a great review of this book, read Laura's review. She says what I'm feeling perfectly. I pretty much suck at reviews. I did enjoy this book. I admire, respect and appreciate Arthur Fleischmann's brutal honesty about life with a severely autistic child. I cannot begin to imagine the hell they went through as a family. I also admire the fact that despite that hell he and his wife, Tammy, would move heaven and earth to get Carly whatever she needed to help her be the best she could be.If you want a great review of this book, read Laura's review. She says what I'm feeling perfectly. I pretty much suck at reviews. I did enjoy this book. I admire, respect and appreciate Arthur Fleischmann's brutal honesty about life with a severely autistic child. I cannot begin to imagine the hell they went through as a family. I also admire the fact that despite that hell he and his wife, Tammy, would move heaven and earth to get Carly whatever she needed to help her be the best she could be. And then there's Carly. An amazing, intelligent, funny young lady with personality oozing out her pores. She can't vocalize her thoughts for you, but she can use a computer to tell you things you would never expect her to tell you. I think she will help other autistic children to rise above the stigma that there's something wrong with them...that they need to be fixed...that they aren't intelligent because they can't learn. Boy, did she ever flip that myth on it's head. The remarkable people that found their way into Carly and the Fleischmann's lives makes you believe there are some really good people out there. As a fan of Ellen DeGeneres, I was pleased to read the huge role she played in Carly's life. (You'll have to read to book to know what Ellen did.) It's an amazing story of how, with the right team, one can conquer and overcome whatever obstacles present themselves. I look forward to hearing much more about Carly and her accomplishments in the future. And that's one of the best parts of the story - she DOES have a promising future despite being severely autistic. It gives you hope....more

“Carly grabbed at Howard, who was in the driver’s seat, while she was buckled in behind him. She flopped back in the seat of the car over and over, screaming and crying, throwing herself hard against the constraints of the safety belt. “What’s wrong? What’s going on?” they asked over and over. When they finally arrived at Barb’s several minutes later and turned off the car, Carly calmed sufficiently to respond. “You need a seat belt,” Carly observed. Sheepishly, Howard acknowledged he hadn’t fastened his when leaving our house.”
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