We haunt every medium we make.

February 27, 2014

Now you can eat celebrity flesh

Bitelabs offers the best Gothic take on celebrity culture since Gwynneth Paltrow's skull was opened up for us all in Contagion. The Bitelabs website offers delicious meats, grown from celebrities' tissue samples. Call it glam cannibalism:

It all starts with your favorite celebrities, and a quick biopsy to obtain tissue samples. Isolating muscle stem cells, we grow celebrity meat in our proprietary bioreactors. In the tradition of Italian cured meats, we dry, age, and spice our product into fine charcuterie.

As the Bitelabs Twitter profile says, "We've never been so close to celebrities". What's not to love?

There's a crowdsourcing element, as we're encouraged to get more celebrities involved. For example,

The Franco salami must be smoky, sexy, and smooth. Franco's meat will pair with lean, strong venison. Sharp Tellicherry peppercorns and caramelized onions provide Franco's underlying flavors, complemented by a charming hint of lavender. The Franco salami’s taste will be arrogant, distinctive, and completely undeniable.

We could fire up a Kickstarter project for individual celebs, or small groups. Ah, for Bratpackwurst.

And there's also a fine Green benefit to the Bitelabs offering:

Celebrity meat production requires less than 1% of the amount of land needed for traditional farming...

Bite Labs’ meats are not affected by the growth hormones administered to farm animals, nor are they in contact with pesticides or other chemicals associated with industrial farming....

Lab grown meats are the future.

Indeed. What a vision, even if it's a viral marketing/stunt/hoax. Note that the domain is .org, not .com.

Note, too, the entertaining remix of foodie, localvore, startup, social media, marketing, and celebrity culture. Behold the new glocalism!