Report: 40,000 People Died On Ferris Wheels This Summer

So reads the headline from the Onion, can you imagine the outcry against Ferris Wheels if that was true? But the number of deaths is reminiscent of the number of annual highway deaths which somehow people find acceptable. A lot of people are dying yet enforcement of traffic laws are a low priority or worse have strong public opposition as if their battle cry was "We have a right to put others peoples life at risk just for a little fun of playing bumper cars."

Onion: "...and 17 fell victim to the Ferris Wheel Slasher, who is evidently still at large."

I wounder if this alludes to drunk drivers who get off easy even after multiple convictions, if so the number would be closer to 8000.

Onion: "Approximately 18,000 riders slipped out of their safety restraints and fell, suffering repeated traumas as they hit each spoke of the moving wheel on their way to the ground,"

This description stands in sharp contrast to our white-washing the description of crash types. Can you imagine if we changed "Distracted driving" to "Texted "LOL" while sending a human body flying like a rag doll across the road to be flattened by a two ton personal conveyance favored by the obese and lazy."