Georgeanna Teipen as Judy Garland in “The Property Known as Garland” at Buck Creek Players through Sunday (BCP photo)

This is how the star, occupying the body of Georgeanna Teipen at Indy’s Buck Creek Playhouse, introduces herself to Ed (Steve Jerk) in the dressing room of Copenhagen’s Falconer Centre as they await what would be her final public concert, March 25, 1969. She then sends Ed on a fool’s errand so that she can be alone for the next hour to talk to us – across space, time and the fourth wall – about her life.

“The Property Known as Garland” was crafted by Billy Van Zandt from Garland’s actual words in interviews and dictations for a never-published memoir. Director D. Scott Robinson said a minimum of dramatic license was employed in the script. While he can’t say Judy’s stories were all true, because “she was a story-teller,” he said. “What you hear is what she actually said.” Robinson added that most aspects of her narrative, including her scandalous first pregnancy, are independently verifiable.

Robinson also said that while he was thrilled to get the rights to this show, he wouldn’t do it without Teipen as Garland. Fortunately, she was quick to say yes, he said. And indeed, from the short dark wig to the sassy attitude that sways from playful and wistful to maudlin and angry, she does – for 90 minutes, no intermission – become Judy Garland.

I must note that for those who are either eager for or cringing at the thought of her belting out full renditions of “Zing! Went the Strings of My Heart” or “Over the Rainbow,” it won’t happen. Teipen is spared inevitable comparisons to the legendary voice, as Judy saves it for her Danish audience.

Still, to hear her story, from little Frances Gumm and her sisters in vaudeville, through her time with MGM and Oz (including backlot Munchkin tales), up through her more recent triumphs (Oscar-nominated for “A Star is Born”) and trials (getting booed off the stage in Australia), is fascinating enough without song breaks. And in Teipen’s performance, we feel those highs and lows with her.

She touches on her appeal to LGBT audiences, including encounters with drag impersonators.

There is also a touch of irony, as she remarks on how each of her peers and rivals are “drunks” while waving her ever-refilling glass of Blue Nun dismissively. She has no problem with it, she says, except for having to switch from wine after being told, after liver surgery, that she could no longer consume hard liquor. And she laments how Marilyn Monroe was careless enough to overdose on pills, just months before she would die from a day of constant consumption of barbiturates.

There is just one weekend of performances left before the Garland glamour leaves us again. Find Buck Creek Players at 11150 Southeastern Ave., Acton Road exit off I-74; call 317-862-2270 or see www.buckcreekplayers.com.

Years ago, I worked on a production line of a manufacturer of tortilla products. Though not too bad if you don’t mind smelling like a corn chip after work, the shifts were as long and monotonous as you’d imagine. And I guess that for those working in the executive offices, things were about as dull.

Until they’re not.

Casey Ross’ “Tortillo” imagines such a scenario, in which a corporate drone at a corn chip company could use some excitement in his life – and with a mysterious phone call, he gets it in spades.

Dave (Robert Webster Jr.) could care less about the new ranch flavor of Tortillo stacked chips (like if Pringles made Doritos) but would rather pine for hot co-worker Juniper (Lisa Marie Smith). Steve (Matt Anderson) is all to eager to help Dave score, giving him an excuse to offload all his work on shy but faithful intern Patrick (Davey Pelsue). But during an evening of watching Steve’s 15 seconds of fame on TV, he and Dave get a call from a malevolent voice, telling them to “mind your own masa.”

Naturally, they freak out over the vague threat, but not enough to do anything. The next day, after overeager employee-of-the-month Ted (Tristan Ross) drops off a sample of the new-flavored chips, they make a discovery that will make you think twice before popping open your next can of Tortillos.

What ensues is a bizarre mystery of corruption and revenge with odd and shady characters – and just who is that “John” guy (Brian Kennedy) anyway? He looks familiar – all flavored with dark hilarity like only Casey Ross’ pen can deliver.

Under the expert direction of Tristan Ross (no relation to Casey) this madness flows excellently through two acts. This was originally a 50-minute Fringe show, and hits the same plot beats, but the two Rosses have ensured that it doesn’t feel “padded out.”

The fun and snacks end Sunday at the IndyFringe building’s Indy Eleven stage. See IndyFringe.org or the Casey Ross Productions website or Facebook page for details and tickets.

Did you know that it took three tries before “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum” had an opening song that worked?

You get lots of behind-the-scenes glimpses like this in “Sondheim on Sondheim,” Thursday through Sunday at Footlite Musicals. This hybrid of documentary and revue has Stephen Sondheim himself projected on a big screen, talking about his life and career, while live performers – Lauren Bowers, Graham Brinklow, Onis Dean, Laura Duvall-Whitson, Karen Frye, Jeff Fuller, Sarah Marone and Larry Sommers – sing songs from his stage shows. The numbers range from choruses and medleys to full performances of songs like “Gun Song,” “Finishing the Hat” and “Send in the Clowns.”

If you don’t like Sondheim – then, really, why are you reading this? – but if you do like the man or his musicals at all, you’ll find this show charming and insightful. The singers are well up to the task, with some, like director Bill Hale, having worked on the Footlite production of “Follies” a couple of years back. However, the orchestra on stage does threaten to sonically overwhelm them. Fortunately, the audience is also on the Footlite stage, an intimate arrangement that gives the vocalists the freedom and challenge of working un-mic’ed.

Circumstances limited the show’s run, so see it this weekend at the Hedback Theater, 1847 N. Alabama St. Call 317-926-6630 or see footlite.org.