Dumbass Pages

Monday, September 2, 2013

Cyber Crime Solved by Pic of Boobs On Internet!

Best of Dumbass News

Certain subject matter draws readers to this blog like a candy store brings in fat kids. If you were to go to the "Dumbass Search" feature located in the left side bar and typed in nekkid, tattoos or boobs, you would come up with the most popular posts this blog has put forth. I have written some outstanding articles dealing with other material, but nekkid, tattoos and boobs are hands down the favorite topics of the Dumbass Horde. I am all for nekkididity and sweater puppies, but tattoos, not so much. Hit up those three links and you'll see exactly what kind of perverted Dumbasses I get reading my award-worthy filth. You can thank me later.

I am all for nekkididity and sweater puppies, but tattoos, not so much. So for today, boobs it is!

Positive I.D.

Usually when a crime is committed, the bad guy leaves behind some tell tale piece of evidence that leads directly to his identification. You know what I mean...a finger print for example. Some Dumbasses have even left behind their driver's license at the scene of the dirty deed.

When a crime is committed in cyber space, stuff like an IP address will lead straight to the culprit. That is not always the case, however.

Allow me to elucidate. For those of you in Washington, DC, that means "let me splain".

The Hacker

Down on the Sinkin' Sandbar that is Galveston, Texas, is a Meskin Dumbass named Higinio Ochoa. Evidently, Higgy is pretty sharp when it comes to hacking into highly sensitive data bases like those of law enforcement agencies and he did just that to some cop shops Down Under. The Aussie Fuzz was not amused.

After much highly technical cyber sleuthing trying to locate the asswipe that compromised their not for public consumption data, the Australian authorities found their cyber way to an offshoot group of computer hackers affiliated with internet meanies "Anonymous". this is where Ochoa come and a pair of knockers come in to play.

The Boobs Tell All

As much as I don't like doing it, I must reproduce a goodly portion of the source article for this post that I found onc|net.com.

"Ochoa allegedly used a Twitter account to direct people to a Web site when all the law enforcement information he'd supposedly hacked was on display.Also on display was a picture of a woman, her breasts lowering themselves tantalizingly toward the camera, with a sign beneath them reading: "''PwNd by w0rmer & CabinCr3w <3 u BiTch's''.Now CabinCr3w is the apparent name of an Anonymous offshoot. And the "w0rmer" part? Well, the Twitter account linking people to the site was @AnonW0rmer.However, the photograph of the breasts apparently linked authorities to Ochoa -- because, taken with an iPhone, it contained GPS information. The information allegedly suggested she lived in Melbourne, Australia.Further burrowing led the police to discover a posting on Ochoa's Facebook page that allegedly revealed his girlfriend was Australian.The claim is that police have managed to match pictures of her that Ochoa allegedly posted on Facebook to the breast image."
Amazing.

Astonished

I have heard of suspects being linked to crimes through DNA taken from cigarette butts, clues obtained from their curb side garbage and even tattoos. But I can say with 100% certainty, that, although I have seen several pair of nice, cuddly sweater puppies, I have never been able to identify a set of heat seeking missiles with nothing more than a cell phone camera photograph.

I am shocked and awed by the industriousness of the Australian cops in finding an exact match of the hooters in question on a small island in the Gulf of Mexico, a half world away. These guys are my new heroes.

I salute you.

As for Ochoa the Hacker, next time take a picture of your girlfriend's pelvic area tattoo. If you've seen one muffin tattoo, you've seen 'em all. Unless the muffin is being chased down by the Wizards of Oz.