What? With Doughnut-Croissant hybrids sparking a feeding frenzy in New York and dampening chins all over the world, it was only a matter of time before someone this side of the Atlantic started selling their own brand.

First major business to get onboard? The omnipresent chain of budget British bakeries, Greggs.

Instead, these balls of dough and glaze are known, somewhat inelegantly, as Greggsnuts.

Their makers describe them as ‘delicious’ and ‘fluffy’, with ‘layer upon layer of soft, light pastry’.

Again, no doubt to avoid litigation, they’re specifically aligned with Yum Yums (that other fried and flaky treat) and claim to have been inspired by the ‘craze’ of Cronuts, rather than Cronuts themselves.

Yeah, right.

Like Cronuts, they are glazed and filled, with two flavours available to buy: Summer Berry and Crème, and Caramel and Pecan.

Like Cronuts, their supply has been deliberately limited: only 13 shops are stocking them – less than one per cent of the company’s 1,671 UK outlets – and these will only sell them in September.

Unlike Cronuts, however, one bite is enough to confirm that they are not a taste sensation.

Don’t get me wrong: they’re not awful. They’re just not awfully good.

While devotees of the Cronut will wax lyrical on its freshness, flakiness and chew, the Greggsnut leaves a lot to be desired.

It is not Croissanty at all – the layers are thick and heavy, and they cloy together, sticking between the teeth.

The fillings are sparse, not gooey, and dwarved by great big pockets of air. And while the Caramel adds a certain salty silkiness (never a bad thing), neither it nor the bodiless Berry Crème pack the filthy, no-holds barred punch that I’d hoped for.

Of course this is hardly surprising. Unlike the original Cronut, these aren’t gourmet products, lovingly made in a tiny batch by a top Pastry Chef and his team.

In fact, they’re more or less what you’d expect from Greggs: sugary, bulky, cheap, and more impressive in looks than taste.

What? An oversized circular Danish, dotted with Pecans and shaped like a windmill.

Though it looks fairly plain and dry in its tin, when warmed in the oven it turns into something quite spectacular: by turns crisp, flaky, buttery, soft, and soggy from hidden reserves of BUTTERSCOTCH SAUCE (*drool*).

As if that wasn’t exciting enough, the Pastry itself is suffused with Cinnamon – clearly, whoever designed it was a genius (or out to reel me in with a dish that contains all my favourite things).

The only thing I took issue with was the recommended serving size: though hardly large, one Swirl is supposed to feed FOUR PEOPLE.

Heck knows who could possibly stop at a quarter – not this Pud-Hog, that’s for sure.

Then again, when it comes to counting calories, even this (apparently ‘four-person’) flake-fest works out healthier than a singleCaramel Pecanbon.

When you think of it that way, the idea of having a second slice doesn’t seem nearly as naughty…

What? The tallest slice of Pie I’ve ever had – with Meringue coiffed higher than Elvis’s quiff at its bounciest.

Homemade at Mammy’s Cupboard – a Natchez roadside restaurant housed inside a black woman’s skirt (!) – it’s also the first slice of Chocolate Meringue I think I’ve ever seen (though they do sell the Lemon variety there as well).

I have to say, it made for a great introduction, with a flaky, slightly salty Pastry base, a pleasingly gooey layer of Chocolate Blancmange, and a soft egg-white mountain which topped it like sweet, fluffy clouds.

Only the addition of real Chocolate – in chunks or some kind of Ganache – could have made it more desirable.

As it was, if I hadn’t already been stuffed with Grilled Cheese and Sweet Tea, I might well have gone for seconds…

Where? You’ll find Mammy’s Cupboard south of Natchez – just look for the huge red skirt

What? The most ludicrous thing I’ve conceived of – let alone seen on a menu.

For breakfast, lunch, or dinner, you too can get yourself a square of Pastry, filled with Caramel and Banana ‘Cheesecake‘ (read ‘biscuitless mush’), which has been deep-fried and covered with Whipped Cream, Banana slices, and sticky Strawberry Sauce.

At 660 calories, 34g of fat, and 36g of sugar, it has to be one of the naughtiest things you can buy without breaking the law (and the most ridiculous breakfast I’ve ever had).

Surprisingly, despite being a deep-fried, Cheese-and-Sugar-filled Pastry, it didn’t taste that extreme.

Not to eat, of course – as digesting goes, they probably couldn’t be easier – but to create with your own fair hands.

Not only must you make your own Pastry, but then you have to fill it with Cream and smear it with Sauce to boot.

Better to buy them from the supermaket, right?

WRONG!

As it happens, they’re one of the easiest pastry-based treats you can make. You just need the right instructions – and, thanks to a book I got last week, I’m delighted to say I have them.

The recipe came from a nifty new publication called A Little Course in Baking, which breaks down various bakeables into pretty easy steps.

Today, I am delighted – and excited – to report that the good people of Dorling Kindersley have allowed me to share this wisdom with all of you Ogglers too (thanks, DK)!

So. All you need to get in on the action is an oven, a saucepan, a piping bag and a few fairly basic ingredients.

Within 45 minutes you’ll have a trayful of beautiful-smelling, professional-standard Choux Pastry Balls, to fill with whatever your heart desires.

Double Cream doesn’t do it for you? Then cram them with Crème Pâtissière instead.

Be sure to experiment with toppings too, if you fancy it.

With just the one batch, the Man and I made Chocolate Sauce from scratch, used dollops of Salt Caramel, and, for a particularly lazy option, squeezed out the Sauce we had left from our Stay-at-Home Ice Cream Parlour.

DEEELICIOUS.

Next time I might even try the next recipe in the book: a version with booze and Chocolate Orange.

You will also need a piping bag, as well as a 1cm plain nozzle and a 5mm star nozzle

Method:

For the Profiteroles:

Preheat the oven to 220 degrees C (gas mark 7). Line two baking trays with baking parchment. Sieve the flour into a bowl, then over a low heat, melt the butter and 150ml (5fl oz) of water in a saucepan. Bring to the boil, remove from heat, and ‘shoot’ in the flour all at once [NB: to ‘shoot’ the flour, transfer to a sheet of parchment after sifting into the bowl, then tip it into the saucepan all in one go]

Beat the mixture together with a wooden spoon until it is smooth and forms a ball. Then leave it to cool for about 10 minutes. Careful: don’t be impatient and go on to the next step before the dough has had time to cool or you will start to cook the eggs instead of incorporating them…

Gradually add the eggs, a little at a time, beating well after each addition until the eggs are fully incorporated. The more you beat the mixture, the more you develop the gluten and the more air you will get into it, helping the dough to puff up

Continue to beat until you end up with a very smooth and shiny dough. Use a wooden spoon so you don’t cut into the mixture, as this would break up the developing gluten and result in the profiteroles not setting or rising well

Spoon the dough into a piping bag fitted with the plain nozzle [ACE TIP: if you find this part difficult, place the piping bag in a jug or tall glass to make it easier to fill]. Pipe small rounds (roughly an inch across and half an inch tall), set well apart, onto the sheets. Flatten the tops by pressing down lightly with a dampened finger. Bake for 20 minutes until well risen – and don’t be tempted to open the oven too early or the buns may deflate. While waiting, wash out and dry your piping bag in preparation for the filling…

Remove the choux buns from the oven, then make a slit of roughly one inch in the side of each one, allowing the steam to escape [warning: you may get hot fingers]. Work as quickly as you can. If you don’t, the steam will make them soggy. Return them to the oven and bake for another two minutes until golden brown and firm. Cool on a wire rack. If planning to serve with homemade sauce, start preparing this now

Whip the cream until it forms soft peaks. It’s ready if it holds its shape when the beaters are removed. Spoon the cream into the piping bag with the star nozzle

Squeeze the cream into the centre of the choux, making sure you don’t overfill the buns (but don’t underfill them either). Widening the existing slits with a sharp knife will make this process easier

Serve with whatever sauce you fancy and dig in…

For Chocolate Sauce:

Place cream, chocolate, butter and syrup into a saucepan and heat over a low heat until melted and smooth. Stir frequently to speed up the melting process

When ready, spoon it over the profiteroles

Voila!

WARNING: these Profiteroles are exceedingly addictive, so if you think you might want to prolong their destruction, you can freeze them, pre-filled, in an airtight container. Then whenever you’re ready for more, leave them out to defrost and continue from Step 7.

Alternatively, you can keep them, post-filling, sealed tightly in your fridge. They’ll lost their crispness but stay gosh-darn tasty. Just make sure you eat them while the cream stays fresh…

Happy Hogging!

P-H x

Recipe taken and lightly adapted from ‘A Little Course in Baking’, published with prior permission from Dorling Kindersley, January 2013

This is it, Ogglers: the Big One; the post you’ve all been waiting for.

After much deliberation, I’ve finally picked my Top Ten Puddings of 2012.

While choosing the best was a reasonably easy feat, sorting the ranking has taken weeks of thought. My brain has been flooded with memories – while my mouth is in floods of saliva.

I think I’ve just about cracked it though…

Each entry on this list stands out for a host of reasons, including value, size, originality, texture, taste and even audibility (in other words, if I didn’t hear myself groan with delight, it didn’t make the cut).

What you see below are the cakes and desserts that stopped me in my tracks. They are among the best calories that have ever passed my lips and, with the tragic exception of No. 10, they’re all out there for you to try.

For more information, click on the links at each heading. Then add them to your To-Chew list and get gobbling while you can.