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Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Why do we be friend or fall in love with some people but not with others? Social psychology suggests some answers:

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF ATTRACTION

We endlessly wonder how we can win others' affection and what makes our own affections flourish or fade. Consider three ingredients of our liking for one another: Proximity, physical attractiveness, and similarity.

a). Proximity:

Is Geographic nearness, its friendship's most powerful predictor. Proximity provides opportunities for aggression, but much more often it breeds liking. Study after study reveals that people are most inclined to like, and even to marry. Those who live in the same neighborhood, who sit nearby in class, who work in the same office, who share the same parking lot, who eat in the same dining hall.

b). Physical Attractiveness

Personal beauty is a greater recommendation than any letter of introduction (Aristotle Apothegems, 330 B.C.).

Once proximity affords you contact, what most affects your first impressions: The person's sincerity? Intelligence? Personality? Hundreds of experiments reveal that it is something far more superficial: Appearance.

Men judge women as more attractive if they have a youthful appearance. Women feel attracted to healthy-looking men, be especially to who seem mature, dominant, and affluent.

c). Similarity

Let’s say that proximity has bought you into contact with someone and that your appearance has made a favorable first impression. What now influences whether acquaintances develop into friends?

Example, as you get to know someone better, is the chemistry better if you are opposites or if you are alike?

Love is best sustained when the lovers love many things together, and not merely each other.

Proximity, attractiveness, and similarity are not the only determinants for attraction. We also like those who like us, especially when our self-image is low. To be liked is powerfully rewarding.

Indeed, a simple reward theory of attraction that we like those whose behaviour is rewarding to us and that we will continue relationships that offer more rewards than costs. When a person lives or works in close proximity with someone else, it costs less time and effort to develop the friendship and enjoy its benefits.

Thank you for taking your time with me, its great being with you. But reading is not enough. If you really hope to attain a successful life, please keep your mind open, go back and practice persistently the suggestions. Keep at it. The results will come. It will give me great happiness 2 know that the article has helped you. We may never meet in person, but in this article we have met. We are spiritual friends. I pray for you. God will help you, so believe and live successfully. As someone has said, the greatest room in the world is the room for self-improvement.

Last but not list to all the professionals and authors that I have read their books, or listened to their many presentations and used their concepts and knowledge. Thanks to all of you.

1. I love comments on this blog: They are as important as anything I write myself. They add to the knowledge and community that we have here. If you want to comment then you are more than welcome; whether you feel you are a beginner or an expert, feel free to have you say.

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With admiration,

Robert Malugu

About the Author

Robert Malugu is the founder and editor of Malugu Robert - The Positive Thinking Site. Learn more about him here and connect with him on Twitter, at Facebook, Google+, and LinkedIn.