Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML

dude, get some balls, and kick his ass out of
there, by physical force if necessary! 38 years old, no gf, and no job? when is the right time? wtf are you waiting for?! hire somebody if you're just gonna keep being a puss about it, Jesus Christ....

Congratulations! You created a useless human being! Great parenting. Look on the bright side: my son is going to need low-skilled idiots to hire for manual labor at minimum wage, so thanks for contributing to the labor pool.