NBA Loser Wish List

As 94% or so of the NBA teams are at home, or the beach, and not playing in the NBA Finals. So the teams that we close, but yet so far away – everyone sing it – must start to think about what the playoff loser needs to make the leap to the Finals.

Cleveland Cavs

Scottie Pippen – or someone to take that role.

A mid range jumper and a post game for LeBron James.

Someone over 6’5″ who can play perimeter defense.

Charles Oakley – see Scottie Pippen.

Denver Nuggets

JR Smith to pull his head from his butt.

Chauney Billups to stop jacking ill-advised three and get the ball to Carmelo.

To stop making stupid plays and fouls.

Boston Celtics

Two new knees for KG.

Brain Scalabrine in street clothes.

For everyone named KG, Paul Pierce and Jesus Shuttlesworth to become younger.

Doc Rivers to learn how to coach.

Houston Rockets

A really talent doctor.

Trade Tracy McGrady.

Ron Artest to stop jacking ill-advised three and get the ball to Yao.

Good medical insurance.

Atlanta Hawks

Decide what kind of team they want to be.

A trade for a real post player – get rid of Marvin Williams.

Mike Bibby to take less money.

Another All-Star level player.

Dallas Mavericks

Depth in the post with better rebounding – there is another German in Chris Kaman who is pretty good and may need a new home.

Jason Kidd to continue shooting well.

Josh Howard to play like Jason Terry.

Miami Heat

Say good-bye to Jermaine O’Neal.

Find experienced player through in free agency or the draft.

Another Dwayne Wade – just 6’11”.

Portland Trailblazers

A better point guard or Jerryd Bayless to get sometime.

Travis Outlaw to continue evolving.

Rudy, Rudy, Rudy!

To go back a couple years a pick Kevin Durant instead of Greg Oden.

Philadelphia 76ers

Sign Andre Iquodala! SERIOUSLY!

Elton to play some basketball!

A consistent shooting guard.

San Antonio Spurs

Tim Duncan to reverse his aging.

Manu. More Manu!

Another scoring option as unless Duncan can take care of his issue.

Gregg Papovich to shave that damned beard!

Chicago Bulls

Make a decision on Kirk Hinrich and Ben Gordan. Please!

A shooter guard over 6’4″.

New Orleans Hornets

Bring back Jeremy Pargo!

Some other than Chris Paul to score 20 points a game.

Low post toughness.

Detroit Pistons

Get younger, quick.

Let Allen Iverson and Rasheed Wallace go. It’s time boys.

Athletic, slashing shooter guard who can get to the rim.

Utah Jazz

Sign Carlos Boozer for less money.

See last point for the Pistons!

A legit 6’11” low post player who only blocks and grab rebounds – Dwight Howard?