Statement of Assets, Liabilities and Net Worth, VI

Cat, 9 years, 17 pounds
As of Saturday evening

Number of bowls of food (wet and dry) consumed today: 4
Number of trips to the litterbox today: 2
Number of appeals to constant companion (a.k.a. CC) to open the bedroom window today: 3
Number of scratches inflicted upon CC while horsing around today: 11
Number of hours spent asleep on CC’s stack of unchecked papers today: 3
Number of hours asleep any day: 16
Number of hours spent on planes: 24
Number of years spent homeless: 2
Number of pet names: 12

4 comments

Chingbee, I think that government would go crazy if this kind of Statement of Assets and Liabilities and Net Worth would be submitted to them. But it is a great idea, imagine the punishment that those in higher positions of government would go through doing their own inventories. I mean, it could have an entry like this…number of meaningful words exchanged in congress: 0.

Haha, yeah, that would be funny. I’m always stumped going through the SALN form. What I actually have seems, well, incompatible with what it asks me to account for–which, I suppose, stems from our completely different definitions of terms like “assets,” “liabilities,” and “net worth.”