Sunday, February 14, 2010

High school blues

The other night I had a dream that all my teeth fell out, so as soon as I woke up I brushed my teeth.

Let me also mention that I woke up at 6am. This is because I "volunteered" to help out a local high school because best buy sponsors them. This means that I have sort of just hop along with some high school kids that might possibly be attending this college we're visiting.

The thing is, they don't need help. Things are organized so well that they don't need anyone to watch the kids at all. So that leaves me following Mr Ellison, the teacher in charge of the kids.

What you need to know about Mr Ellison is that he is old as fuck. I mean, he is nice and all, but super old. And he loves to talk. It doesn't matter who. Everytime we bumped into somebody he even remotely recognized he would start talking to them. He would even walk up to random students and talk about how different the school was back when he was enrolled.

Later he told me he does this because he never knows if it'll be the last time he talks to them, him being so old. Hearing that kind of makes me sad.

So around lunch time, I get seperated from him which isn't terribly bad, but I'm alone here. It's not like I know anyone. I find a table away from everyone else so I can get some quiet. This way I can call my manager and tell her how pissed I am that I'm the only one that showed up. Yeah, 3 other people were supposed to join me but they all bailed because they douchewagons. Well the manager isn't in, but the one who answers the phone is one of the people that was supposed to come with me and she's all Im sorry Im sorry.

So here comes the awkward part.

Some teachers notice me sitting alone and decide to sit with me. As it turns out, they think I'm a student brought along with the trip, but I don't try to correct them. Not yet, anyway. So the teachers bring two girls with them. High school girls.

Right so one of the girls sits across from me despite the fact that her friend is at the other table next to us. She's also been staring at me since she arrived, but always looks away when I look back at her. I'm thinking uh oh.

Now let it be known that I had no interest in this girl. First off, my loyalties lie elsewhere (hi sophia). Two, jailbait. Yeah.

So this girl is looking at her friend and giggling, and they whisper stuff to each other. Like I haven't played this game before. I'm starting to realize they think I'm a student, and I need to rectify this. Of course I don't. So this little high school girl is just trying to get my attention. She comments on my hair (which is super badass btw so I don't blame her). At some point she tries to hug me and I just sort of shrug it off like no Im fine.

She leaves to get food, and I start talking to everyone else. The teachers say she has boundaries issues, and Im like yeah. They then ask me what grade I'm in.

After I explain that I'm with best buy, they kind of just look at each other and say does she know that you're and adult? I say probably not. They say I need to tell her.

Now how the fuck am I supposed to articulate that? Like, oh btw I'm 22 and you are jailbait so later?

A young girl with a crush on my doesn't make me uncomfortable. But adults looking at me like I'm some sort of child predator does. So I try to avoid looking like I'm enjoying her company, which isn't too hard but makes me feel like a dickhead. Eventually, she asks me if she'll see me at school and I tell her I'm in college.

She goes oh and blushes.

And then she starts rattling off names of people that go to my school and asks me if I know them.

Aw well fuck.

Luckily, Mr Ellison shows up and decides to leave so I go with him. I get waved goodbye, and this girl just looks so sad and I feel like the biggest douche of all time.

I follow Mr Ellison to the gym where we're watching the final presentations and I sit at the very top of the bleachers all by my lonesome. Guess who shows up? Right so she catches my eye and just sort of shyly waves at me. I'm like ughhhh, but she sincerely asks me may I sit with you? I tell her I guess.

While we're sitting she mentions being cold.

Noooo. Listen guys, my jacket doesn't come off. It is part of the outfit. Without it, I just look like a businessman. I ask her why she doesn't put her jacket on, considering she isn't wearing it. She says she's so skinny it doesn't matter because she's always cold. Aw.

So we file out of the gym and she does the sad wave thing again. Argh.

The worst thing by far, which actually made me feel bad, was when I got outside. I'm waiting with Ellison and his kids, when I sort of see high school girl out of the corner of my eye. I try to pretend like I don't see her.

But she does this thing where she walks halfway towards me, and then immediately turns around, looks at the floor and walks away. She does this like three times, and I actually just wanted to stop her and be like listen. My name is james but this is highly inappropriate. But of course I don't. I let her think I'm a jerk because it's probably better this way.

Because, guys, that sort of crush is based on appearance alone. She probably saw me and just latched on to a guy that looks wildly different than what she's used to. I know it wasn't my personality, because like I said, I would douching it up. Also I maybe said like 3 sentences to her the entire time I was there.

And aside from the way I look, I am terribly fucking weird. Sometimes I don't know how sophia can stand it. I am this awful hypocrite. I can name off the model numbers of mobile suits but make fun of my friends that watch anime. I have an obsessive personality, but a severe issue with commitment. Also, financially, I'm not exactly secure. I am not boyfriend material.

So that is that.

Now despite all this, I have to go to work. Yeah, we don't get back until 5:30. I was supposed to be at work at 4, but they know where I am. Well I thought so anyway. As soon as I get there people are freaking out asking me why I'm late.

I don't even answer them. I am mentally exhausted, wondering how long Mr Ellison could go on, and if I broke somebody's heart.

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