At an ecumenical gathering, an Orthodox Christian, a Catholic, and an Episcopalian were standing in a large room that had a burnt out light in the ceiling above. The director of the gathering came into the room and asked the three if they could get the light bulb changed. The Episcopalian said: “Well, we can form a committee, study the issue for 10-15 years, publish a communique, and get it changed then.” The Catholic said: “Well, what we can do is send the information to the Vatican, where a papal body will investigate the claims made of the need to change this light bulb, and after about 500-600 years, the Pope will call an Ecumenical Council and ask the Bishops of the Church to vote on the findings. If it gets that far, the light bulb will be changed.” The Orthodox, looking a bit befuddled, said: “What is this ... ‘change?’”

Kathleen Schultz Heard: it as “How many Lutherans does it take to change a light bulb?”----same punch line.

Colin Leach: Alternatively for the Orthodox: “The Orthodox changed the light bulb, but only after consulting the Venerable Barsanophius of the Holy Mountain and discovering that patristic tradition says it is permissible to change lights at all other times except during Great Lent, Advent, and the Apostles’ Fast.”

Kate Nolan: In the meantime, a nun just changed the bulb and moved on to other work.

David Cheung: Being Orthodox, I find that funny. erhrm...IS AN OUTRAGE!!!

Paula Trietsch Chaney: And along came a United Methodist who recognized the darkness, changed the light bulb and provided light for all.

Caitlin ‘Cake’ Gateaux: And the Charismatic changed the bulb since his hands were already up there any way.

Lauren Leach-Steffens: I’m a Quaker, and we didn’t notice that the bulb was burned out, because we sat in a circle and focused on the Inner Light.

Donna Stephens: Meanwhile, the Unitarian Universalists had an evening discussion group on whether there was a way to find out if the light bulb wanted to be changed, if change was possible, if change would actually be a good thing, and finally decided that the matter was pressing enough that they held a vote and their congregation unanimously resolved that it would only buy fair trade coffee in future.

Laura Boustani: Oh....I just saw Donna’s post. Right on the money! Well, and once they decide to make the change, they’d change ALL the light bulbs to make sure all light bulbs are treated equally.

Renee L. Orth: You all forgot about the Methodist potluck right after to celebrate the changing of the bulb!

Jerod J Husvar: The Zen Buddhist sat and contemplated the need for light. The agnostic decided that there might be a bulb to change, but couldn’t pick one.

Kevin J. Rice: The Unitarian wanders into the room and overhears this. He leaves, drives his Prius to the hardware store, buys an LED bulb, comes back and replaces the Bulb, knowing that you must be the change you want to see in the world. He then invites them over to a pot luck with some Jews and Buddhists so they can talk starting a neighborhood soup kitchen.

Sue Tathwell Wille: Also forgot the Presbyterians standing by to make sure it’s all done Decently and in Order.

The Christian Left: Renee, The Lutherans will bring a Jell-O sculpture to the potluck. ;)

Marty Veltkamp: Hilarious! This is the best post you guys have done yet! We desperately need to laugh at ourselves.

Aunt Meldy: Why wasn’t an Independent Catholic invited?

Steve Fay Old: Mayor Daily, a priest, and a rabbi were adrift in a lifeboat way out in the middle of Lake Michigan. They had so little food left that they came to realize that all three would starve before either another craft found them or they drifted to shore, if they shared it, but that one might live, if the other two of them volunteered to swim away and let the Lord’s will be done. So they decided to take a vote on who should remain in the boat. A stub of pencil was found, and a slip of paper was torn in three. And when the votes were counted, Mayor Daily won: 15-1-1.

Terrie Huff Warren: and an evangelical would have passed laws against the evils of electricity - the Devil’s Magic!

Matt Donnell: Very good! But let’s not beat around the bush here. Change “Orthodox” to” Evangelical”, and then it will be understood by even - well, the Evangelicals!

Cindy Tony: As an orthodox Christian...that was a good one :)

Jennifer McNulty: Then Jesus showed up and said “ I am the light! Start the Feast of Cana! Or the potluck, whatever ya got goin’ on...”

Charles Williams: must be with the Orthodox, then. the line here is ‘how many Vermonters does it take to change a light bulb? four. one to change the bulb and three to sit around and talk about how good the old one was.’

Cory M. Warren: you forgot the fundamentalist, who blamed the bulb burning on gays and women working outside the house.

Kevin J. Rice: ‎... and then a Hindu showed up, knew that Divali was coming up, and replaced the light fixture with a massive candelabra of all different color bulbs.

Marian L Shatto: Moravians would ask our Archivist to check what Zinzendorf and Spangenburg might have said about it. Receiving an affirmation of the process, we would then submit a written request to the Board of Trustees to be forwarded to the head sexton, who would assign one of his assistants to complete the task, after which the pastor would write a 15 verse hymn about the new light and we would celebrate with a Love feast.

Hugh Elwood: And the Baptist said, “Nope! Changin’ a light bulb looks too much like dancin’!”

Kate Cabot: As an Episcopalian, I would differ on this. Our church would have had a pot luck to get a work crew together, followed by a “Blue Jeans Sunday” where the work crew would all have discussed changing the light bulb, followed by an hour and a half spent looking for the big ladder that the sexton used the last time but then put away in another part of the basement after the fall fair-- eventually the rector would change the light bulb anyway, cause he’s the only one who knew where the ladder was.

Keith Oatman: and the progressive Christian asked where the stepladder and fresh light bulbs were.

Susan Kelly Caldwell: The Unitarian Universalist version I heard has the light bulb issue passing through a number of committees and covenant groups, including the RE Committee, who want safe, sufficient lighting for the children, the pagan group, who prefer the natural light, the Green Sanctuary committee who do a study of light bulb energy efficiency. Finally the Light Bulb Issue becomes the topic of a congregation-wide small-group visioning process, and at some point during all of it, a renter changes the bulb.

Susan Kelly Caldwell: Oh, and one morning, a Catholic priest and a Buddhist monk were having breakfast together. The priest suddenly looked into the tub of heart-healthy butter substitute and said, “God be praised! I see the face of Jesus!” The monk looked into the tub and said, “I can’t believe it’s not Buddha!” Ba-DUMP-bump!

Lynne Cole: As one who grew up Episcopalian, went to Catholic school and wound up Methodist in the reddest of the Bible Belt red states, let me say ... BAAAHAAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAA!

Robert J. White: As an Episcopalian, I must agree with Kate, though at my parish we would most certainly involve any number of frosty malt beverages, at which point someone would forget where the light bulb went to, then the senior warden would change the whole light fixture....

Chef Lee Panache: My Episcopalian pastor used to joke that our emergency fire instructions were to “form a grand procession and march out.”

Joyce Sheldon McKnight: And the Mennonite pulled a light bulb out of his toolkit, reached up and changed it!

Ellen Harvischak: Thank- you Lord that it wasn’t a Polish joke this time!! :)

Anne Dachel Risen: But how many Lutherans would it take to change the light fixture? ten! one to change it, and 9 to stand and shake their head saying that the old one was good enough and would have worked just fine.

The Christian Left: Michele Bachmann would write a Bill to forbid the impediment of her freedom to make the choice of whether or not to change the light bulb at all!

We will update this blog at the end of each week with the best troll comments from the week. Pop some popcorn. Put the kids to bed. This is gonna be good.

"Instead of calling this The Christian Left why don't you call it SATAN'S FOLLOWERS !!!!! UNLESS YOU personally know Jesus you really have no business discussing Him...that's like talking about your neighbors that you never met...GOSSIP is what all this is...nasty, evil gossip...and spewing the lies of the devil himself...Jesus is about faith and not religion because religion is man made...." -- T. Purcell, 04-29-2012

“Where is the dislike button? Please don't call yourself a Christian group when you disagree with what The Christ taught. Since Jesus Is God and God repeatedly says He abhors homosexuality. And He also says He is the same today, yesterday, and tomorrow. How can you then say homosexuality is not a sin? He would say the same to any homosexual today as the woman caught in adultery. He forgave her, but then He said to her ‘Go and sin no more.’ If you call sin good you are deceiving yourselves. Quit using Christ in your name when you have nothing to do with Him.” -- S.M. Houser, 05-11-2012

Emily Expat-Wannabe: They tell people the reason they don't have what they've prayed for is a result of their lack of faith or disobedience to God. That can make people feel VERY bad!

Jason M Dye: Christian book/supply stores.

Michaela Whitton: ‎'covertly' try to control other people’s behavior by quoting scripture..

Patrick McGranahan: This reminds me of those unsolicited "Prayer Requests" amongst the gossip circles as a method of cattily disbursing rumors and hearsay about others. "I want to pray for Bill...I heard he's back on the bottle!"

Don Richardson: Vote Republican.

Patrick McGranahan: Here's another one which occurred in a children's ministry meeting: A: "I have a friend who is a professional actor and he'd love to come speak with the kids' drama group!" B: "That sounds great! Just make sure he's not gay." (un-embellished I assure you)

Robin McQueen Mattingly: Shun a family member who isn't Christian.

Don Richardson: Listen to really bad "Christian" music.

The Christian Left from Roger Wolsey:

*Purchase Precious Moments figurines.

*Spend lots of money in Branson, MO.

*Enable the addictions of televangelists to expensive suits and cars.

*Tell homosexuals that they aren't okay the way they are.

...*Condone wars - unjust ones even.

.. not necessarily, in that order.

Carlos Thorne: The things Republicans do, because of it, although it must be some other Christianity they follow. A religion of theirs that probably Hitler followed too.

The Christian Left: ‎"Yes, regarding (your sin here), God will not be mocked! ... and never mind about my sins. That's not the point."

Rick Seelhoff: Think Christians are better than others.

Lorraine Verdieck: My favorite is how Bush became know as the 'family values' candidate in the 2004 election, because he was against abortion. ( A Catholic priest where I worked said "A vote for John Kerry is a vote for the devil")... Then he goes and starts a war and bombs the Iraqis, killing millions of innocent people! And STILL has conservative Christian approval!!!

Leslie Saverino: Form a committee to form a committee???!! (Technically, this is organized church lameness, but it has always been one of the most comical & frustrating aspects of Christian living for me.)

Tim Wilkins: Defend pagan holidays like Christmas and Easter by insisting they are Christian holy days.

Valerie Bock: Pray publicly, for people (not God) to see them; pass judgment on all who come before them.

Don Richardson: ‎"And what do we burn, apart from witches?" "MORE WITCHES!!"

Jason M Dye: ‎*sigh* the whole pagan/christian holiday shtick is old (it can be both), but what really gets me going is the "War on Christmas" and "Jesus is THE reason for the season"

Diane Flath: Do whatever they want to others and then claim it's ok for them to do it because "Jesus forgives me!"

Len Flett: Avoid the red letter verses of the Bible like the plague...

Valerie Bock: And my personal favorite ... Cite Old Testament lessons as excuses, any time that the New Law interferes with their immediate desire to have what they want, to hate who they want, or to harbor ill will toward others.

Jason M Dye: Create museums that celebrate inanity of their "science" (i know. i was just there a couple weekends ago), and theme parks that parade such events as The Passion.

Don Richardson: Put fish decals on their SUVs.

Don Richardson: Ask, "WWJD?" - and then do everything but.

Michaela Whitton: Sigh and use 'The Fall' as an excuse not to do anything

Tim Williamson: Build mega churches while people starve around the world.

The Christian Left: Make excuses for their own sin (or that of a friend or family member), but refuse to do the same (forgive) for people they don't know.

Don Richardson: On a similar note to Michaela's, use Jesus' statement that "the poor are with you always" as an excuse not to do anything about it.

Don Richardson: Hate Muslims.

Jason M Dye: also backpacking on Michaela's statement, using, "Nothing will be fixed until Jesus comes back and destroys everything," as an excuse to not fix anything.

JenniferBaggerplease Woodroff: Demonize progressive Christians. Crap on the social Gospel. Push gays and lesbians out of their congregations. Stage power plays, saying it's for the good of the parish. Place security on the front steps of the Church to keep the poor out.

Jocelyn Eudy Bankos: Kick people out of church because they are sinners.

Danelle: Aw Pro-Life and Pro Death Penalty...doesn't compute for me.

Keith Goss: Ask people if they are saved. Because when someone asks me that I know they are coming from the worst kind of hollow Christianity.

Michaela Whitton: Question mother Teresa’s salvation

Robert Slaven: Blame the poor for being poor, and then use that as an excuse to avoid helping the poor.

How about, "Cherry-pick random, out-of-context verses from Leviticus, which is in the Old Testament and therefore not Christian anyways, to justify homophobia and xenophobia, but... ignore all the other verses from Leviticus that aren't convenient to quote because they're too damn weird."

Heather Puffer: Read the Bible. Buy guns. Watch NASCAR.

Side Note from The Christian Left: We have nothing against NASCAR

Joanne Kirschner: Um... they obsess about homosexuality, claiming the Bible says it's a sin. Then, because they apparently have nothing better to do, they go around "outing" anyone whom they "perceive" to be a homosexual. If you're not a manly-manly or a fem-bot, well gee you must be gay.

Stan Colenso: Think services are only on Christmas and Easter, and save their money for more important things than the collection plate.

Len Flett: Think they're fulfilling Matthew 25 by giving a gift basket to a needy family during the Christmas season, but support politicians and policies which hurt millions of the " Least of These."

Jason M Dye: i agree with most of your statement Tracy, but to say that something which is in the OT is therefore *not* Christian is a dangerous statement to make. i think i know where you're coming from, though.

Jennifer Avalon Redmond: Deny gay and lesbian people the right to marry.

Michaela Whitton: facilitate a recovery course for people to get well from addictions and then not let one of the participants lead a further course due to their sexuality!

Jonathon Edwards: “… and now all of you go and sin no more.”

The Christian Left: ‎"Utopia isn't possible on Earth, so we're not even going to try, on anything."

Tracy Clifton: Jason - you're correct, I over generalized. Some of the OT, such as the Ten Commandments, the prophets, etc are definitely an important part of Christianity. I get more frustrated with verses that directly contradict Jesus' teachings of love and peace, i.e. "An eye for an eye" being used to justify Christian behavior, when Jesus clearly said "turn the other cheek." Make sense?

Len Flett: Political leaders who publicly proclaim their Christianity, but their Foreign Policy and actions overseas set true Christianity back at least a century.

Don Richardson: You know, we're touching on a lot of the reasons I lost my faith. My brothers and sisters in this group are helping me to find it again. :-)

Pamela Kemp: Where do I begin? Start wars, kill abortion doctors, kick people out of churches, burn books, disown children, judge people by their clothing, make-up, friends, etc.

Linda Chandler LaFever: convince children with unsaved parents that it is THEIR job to convert the parents or they will be responsible for their parents going to hell.

Alexander Hart-Smith: ‎1. 'there is no use on recycling considering the rapture is coming soon' 2.The anti snacking bill here in NZ had thousands of Christians protesting against it for one bible verse and ignoring the 3000 odd to help the poor.

Side note from The Christian Left: “The Rapture” is made-up hogwash and isn’t in the Bible. Jesus is coming back once. No encores. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-r-coats/whats-real-about-the-rapt_b_716688.html

Loren Parmley: Tell people that children that die and aren't baptized go to hell. They didn't read this verse: "Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD; and the fruit of the womb is his reward." Psalm 127:3

Don Richardson: Expanding on Linda's comment, *assuming* that anyone else is "unsaved", whatever that means. That is not for us to judge.

Dave Smartt: Oppress women, LGBT people & place the pursuit of money above all else.

Dave Hopkins: Jesus is a Republican. If we vote for Republicans, we go to Heaven! Praise Jesus and pass me my ballot! And remember to NOT vote for those Commie, Pinko Democrats! Help us to remember all this, in Jesus Name! <with eyes="" rolling=""></with>

Sheila Parker Stone: Progressive Christians will be left behind....and the big.....OBAMA IS THE ANTICHRIST

Side note from The Christian Left: “The Rapture” is made-up hogwash and isn’t in the Bible. Jesus is coming back once. No encores. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-r-coats/whats-real-about-the-rapt_b_716688.html

The Christian Left: Think that they're blessed by God if they have a lot of money, and poor people are poor because they are not blessed by God (and therefore something must be wrong with them).

2 --- Then think that the "Protestant work ethic" is God's work ethic, even though he measures responsibility by our love and giving to others ("Carry one another's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ", Gal 6.2).

3 --- Then, because the GOP supports (big) business, mistake that for a support of the "Protestant work ethic = God's work ethic", and therefore GOP = God's Own Party. Also, because America has long worshiped the "Protestant work ethic", then that means America = God's country. ("America" here meaning, "capitalist feudal state America".)

4 --- So if you oppose any of the above, you are both un-American AND un-Christian, which in this case become the same thing. Therefore, America = God. So defending one means defending the other: see earlier comments about "guns".

Janie Toy Powell: Over-emphasizing sex

Kristyn Reid: Judge people. Think they/we know the mind of God. Assume they sufficiently understand the intent of every verse of the Bible when no one does...just for starters.

Nina Erickson: Judge others as they would NOT have themselves be judged.

Cynthia Almy Savage: Excusing every atrocity committed by Israel because the Jews are God's chosen people...

Nicole Conard Walters: Gossip, but call it group prayer.

Anthony Andrew George: Censorship and justifying hate crimes

Sarah Faust: Go on international mission trips to spread the word, but treat the immigrants in their own communities like lesser human beings and tell them to go back to Mexico, or India, or China or wherever.

Megan Rue: Have television shows where they ask their audience for money.

Jennifer Harris: I actually had a lady on my friends list deleting any friend she saw putting x-mas instead of Christmas because she said they had to keep Christ in Christmas...she deleted 5 people before I saw it and deleted myself

Jennifer Harris: I know some people who's children only get 3 gifts for Christmas, not because they can't afford to buy them more but because that is how many gifts Jesus got - then they try to justify cheating their own rules by combining gifts (i.e. getting a Wii and 6 games would go together and be one gift)

Jennifer Harris: And of course there is the ever present go to a restaurant and bark orders at your waitress who is working on Christmas to feed her kids and you leave her a buck cause your steak was medium and not medium rare or better yet you say you left all your cash for Jesus in the collection plate

John Merullo: Preach a gospel of prosperity.

Logan Judd: Vote for Republicans.

Celeste Peck: Gossip. Point out all the "bad" things other people do, in scandalized whispers, to make themselves feel sooo righteous in comparison.

Snoop. Pretend to be best friends with someone just to get the dirt, to go gossip about.

Meddle. Impose themselves, uninvited, right into the middle of another's personal affairs and justify it in the name of "Christian business". They offer generic advice while generating group hysteria on the side, with a plan to mob the victim of their "concern" with some type of group attack.

Outrage. Seems they’re always outraged at something.

David Koch: Being obsessed with censoring your swear words online, whilst having no problem with Torturing enemies of the US Imperial State.

Side Note from The Christian Left: You can’t be a Christian and be pro-torture in our opinion. One of the few things we say that on.

Derek Wright: I hate it when fellow Christians fawn over establishment figures after listening to a hundred of homilies telling them otherwise ....

The Christian Left: Thinking they're somehow better than other people.

Linda Opella: Believe that Republicans are the 'Party of God"

Andrew Carter: Oh, yeah, I forgot "GET THE FAGS"

Side Note from The Christian Left: Hitler burned homosexuals in ovens too, and the disabled, and Gypsies (the Roma people). Nuff said.

Barbara Gordon: Post the following "Five Truths Liberals Hate" on your Facebook page while still calling yourself a "Christian":

"1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.

2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.

3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

4. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

5. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."

Side Note from The Christian Left: We’re debunking these 5 things in another note.

Wendy Harrington: Refuse to participate in the political process because we'll all be raptured away (fill in date here) anyway.

Side Note from The Christian Left: “The Rapture” is made-up hogwash and isn’t in the Bible. Jesus is coming back once. No encores. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-r-coats/whats-real-about-the-rapt_b_716688.html

Roxanne VanBokkelen: ‎"Pray, don't reason" - on a church in Ft. Myers

Grantly Scott: Oh man, where do I begin...the exercise of judgment vs. accountability (see the likes of Ted Haggard, Eddie Long, etc.); Preaching and teaching or referencing parts of the Bible while neglecting other areas...preaching a gospel of inclusion while being exclusionary in behavior and attitude...need I say more?

Pamela Smith: ‎"God helps those that help themselves", actually a Benjamin Franklin quote, I believe.

Side Note from The Christian Left: ... and not anywhere to be found in the Bible.

Pamela Smith: Oh, and going along that same line, they say the poor should "pull themselves up by their boot straps", but what if they don't have boots?!?!?

Pamela Smith: My sister actually told my mom, dad, me and my other sister we were not Christians and we were going to hell because we were voting for John Kerry. So much for 'honor thy mother and father'!!

Lori Ratcliff: @Barbara: Also, those "truths" assume that the wealthy "earned" their wealth fairly and ethically and many times they haven't. "Taking" from the wealthy, as it is called, is merely making them shoulder their fair share of responsibility for the services of a civilized society RATHER than leaning on the middle class. Is it fair for the unemployed people who desperately want a job but can't find one because they've been sent overseas? There are so many other things wrong with that reasoning, that I can't address them all here.

Joanna Wallace: Assume that scientific knowledge and religion can't coexist in the interpretation of scriptures.

Laurie Arends: Using the bible as a weapon, instead of seeing it as the best motivational tool... :)

Kathy Mullins: I loved your sarcastic humor, Barbara! Rest assured I knew that it was sarcastic. Well, I can tell you of one "Christian" I saw driving by with bumper stickers with anti gay epithets all over her car and with various "Christian" slogans excusing her bigotry. NASTY NASTY NASTY!! Now that woman does not fit my definition of a Christian.

Kathy Mullins: PS My pastor is a lesbian married woman with a beautiful daughter. They are a lovely family and to hate them is NOT family values! Proud to be Episcopalian and an Ally!!!

Celia R. Javadi: Like praying for a divorced woman to meet more women?

“I am an atheist (and a gay man) and I love this page and your posts. I have subscribed for some time now. I support people's right to whatever faith they wish to seek and practice and will be the first to stand for religious freedom. I am often accused of being anti-Christian because I am adamant about separation of church and state or because I defend Islam from the current anti-Muslim sentiment (even though I also disagree with many of its beliefs). It’s nice to see you practicing Christianity in a way that adheres to the New Testament and the teachings of the Christ rather than the idiocy that is spread by faux Christians who spout Yehovah's laws to the Jewish people of thousands of years ago to proclaim ‘Christianity.’ Jeez, as a non-believer, I could run theological circles around all of them. But my words will never penetrate because they will never accept my secular faith as common ground. Only other Christians can claim the religion in its truth and transform its love to be relevant to the 21st century and beyond. Thank you for your impact on the world.”

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About TCL Blog

We’re not about Dogma here. We’re just Christians who think the political and Christian right-wing have their priorities wrong.

This blog seeks to express the places where, because of biblical perspectives, we see political priorities differently than our brothers and sisters on the Right.

The Christian Left doesn’t tend to march in lockstep. All of our blog posts may not speak for all members of this group. The Christian Left is a spectrum. We believe that in diversity there is strength.

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Charles Toy is a founding member of The Christian Left. We're sure you will enjoy his passion as well as his wit.

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