YYYAARRR I ne'r seen a scurvier crew afore. We set sail from Portsmouth with a fair wind whistlin in the riggin, bound fer the Indies. We'd ne'r got out of the harbour before I had to give the First mate a good floggin as an example to the crew - he'd done nowt wrong I just wanted to show the men how to do a floggin. Time for me night cap - a tankard of rum with a slice o pinapple on the rim, YAAARRR!

The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

Oi be discoverin' a few more things not ter put in front of yer face while tryin' ter steer yer ship:
1. A meat eatin' rabbit
2. The back of yer head
3. A ghost
Me thinks tha' tomorrow mornin' Oi'll be tryinâ€™ ter discover some things not ter put on yer cereal...

Oi thinx yuh needs more options on that poll. Like "Every onest a while" er sumpin'. Loik only today oi wuz wondering where me log was and oi found it holding up one of the table legs to make the thing more steady. Oi writes in me log when oi gots sumpin ta write. Otherwise it'd be all:

""Tuesday: Surrounded by water again. Methinx the crew is plannin another mutiny. Gotsta keep sharp as a tattoo needle around here. (In between grogs, that is.) Love, Drake"

I's had a couple o' bevvies wi' the lads before I started on the last watch. I's don't be unnerstanding why I's can see two ship's wheels when I only has the one eye. An the ship seems t' be movin up an down quite a lot fer such a still night.

After 5 months an 1 day at sea, we finds land at last - a lovely desert island. When me landin party got ashore, a man dressed in rags ran up to us shouting how he were rescued at last. "Comes wi' me my good man," says I. "I's can use a new crewman."

Dropped anchor of the coast o a place called 'Twin Peaks'. Sent a party ashore but they were back on board within minutes with weird tales o pirates carryin logs about and midgets what talked backwards!!!!

The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

Noice an sunny ta-day. Oi saw a whale pod off starboard, swimmin' around.
Two more days until we dock in Korea, ta git them new artillery upgrades, cheap off the assembly lines of our business partners over there. Ken't wait ta get them..............
Ken't wait ta use them.

Duke

"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."

--Mark Twain

He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

--Friedrich Nietzsche

"If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."

The crew be a fine lot o men. Thar be midshipman Bart, First mate Bart, Doctor Bart, Carpenter Bart, Look out Bart, Bart Simpson Bart and all the other Barts. No problems to report except fer that Mr Christian Bart e be a rum un that one!

The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.