How to armor yourself in the event of a sudden attack: A guide for samurai beginners and pros

An online retailer specializing in ancient Japanese armor, helmets, and horse harnesses has been getting a lot of clicks recently for their detailed, illustrated instructions about how to rapidly equip yourself (and your horse!) with armor in a pinch. Both novice and advanced warriors are sure to learn a thing or two from this handy step-by-step guide–take a look, and you’ll never be unprepared in the event of a stealthy ninja attack again!

Unless you’re wanted on some international hit list (or really have a thing for dressing up like a samurai), there’s probably not much need to outfit yourself with a suit of ancient armor in the modern age. But it’s a scary world out there (read: I work in a high school) and who knows what people you’ve unwittingly crossed (all right, I ate the last piece of cheesecake!). So just to be safe, why not brush up on some armor-dressing skills in case you ever find yourself being pursued by an unfriendly foe (OK, now I’m starting to regret eating that cake…)?

The shop’s easy to follow, step-by-step illustrated instructions begin from the very first step of adjusting your loincloth and continue all the way to the final step of placing your helmet and accompanying banner over your head. A piece of (gulp) cake, right?

▼ Part I

▼ Part II

Hmm, on the other hand, maybe it looks a tad bit tricky…

Oh, and don’t forget to outfit your noble steed with appropriate battle gear. Here’s another graphic illustrating “How to equip your horse with an old-style harness” (additional detailed pictures can be found on the shop’s official website).

One net user’s helpful suggestion is to print out this guide and keep it tucked inside a garment of your clothing at all times. Heck, you never know when you’re going to find yourself in the middle of a hunger-induced battle in modern-day Tokyo!