Mind if I stand here and say bad words? Because I feel like it right now.

I was sitting on the Woman's lap and she kept looking at me funny, asking if I felt okay; she was worried because I kept acting like I was trying to push something out of my mouth with my tongue--well hells bells, people, when you have to lick your fur clean sometimes it gets stuck on your tongue! But I made the mistake of yawning a few times and she decided I couldn't open my mouth all the way, so she says Monday she's calling the stabby place!

WTF? Because I didn't open my mouth all the way? IT WAS A LITTLE YAWN!