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Wednesday, December 5, 2012

The Masks We Wear

This month’s Challenge: What kind of masks do you wear in your life? Do they hide you or allow you to be your true self?Oooh, Kate ... good one! Like my fellow colleagues involved in this challenge, it has caused me to give considerable thought to the masks I wear.

It always elicits guffaws of disbelief in everyone but my immediate family when I reveal that I am an introvert. I'm not off the charts (if you haven't done the Myers-Briggs personality type inventory, it is a fascinating and revealing experience - there are lots available online for free), but I test decidedly on the Introvert side. Why does no one guess this? Because I wear the mask of an extrovert. Sometimes I feel like the character played by Roy Scheider in the film All That Jazz when he looks at his reflection in the mirror each morning and intones, "Show time!" When I have to engage in public speaking, that is almost literally what I do while donning my Extrovert Mask. To be clear, here, I don't engage in the use of cigarettes, dexedrine, Alka Seltzer and Visine that the protagonist in the film does! But I do have a Public Persona, and that is the face I show to the world.So, miracle of miracles, this was the easiest and quickest challenge yet. It was done before the end of November, and was yet another opportunity to do some experimental work - which is why this group is so important to me. It is like a license to deviate from my normal art routine and try things I ordinarily would not take time from my hectic schedule to play with. Can't wait for the Big Reveal!

Wonderful, Mary! You're the first one to say this was an easy challenge. I can't wait to see your experimental work. PS: I took the Myers Briggs test back in college and I was an INTJ. A lot of things have changed since then... I wonder if I have too?

I'm an INFJ, Kate - way at the top of the scale for Feeling! My husband claims I'm actually an INFP (he says the P is for Procrastinator!) but juggling work and kids for years forced me to be a 'J' - to prefer scheduling and making efficient use of time. So to answer your question, yes, I think our preferences do indeed change over time.

Mary, I think I am the same way. When I was 18, my sister convinced me to come work with her and be a waitress. I thought that it would be fun to work with her, but when I was supposed to approach a table of 4 on my own, I froze. Actually talk to strangers? I was terrified, but had to do it to keep the job. I put on a mask and acted like I was in control, while I felt nauseous. Being a waitress taught me to reflect back what people wanted - so formal, business like people got that kind of waitress, and joking, sarcastic people got a little entertainment and an appreciative laugh kind of waitress. After 10 years of waitressing, I figured out which personality would work for the best tips at each table within a few seconds of greeting new customers. Masks help us deal with the world in many ways, because if we let everyone know how we really feel....

Oh, so true, Jeanne! That would not be a pleasant world! But it can backfire when the mask becomes the default in our desire to make everyone happy. I see this tendency in women a lot (myself included). Love your story about the waitressing!

Interesting that you bring up Myers-Briggs ... it's now come up twice this month. I hadn't thought about it for years. I know reading through my INTJ I was a bit taken aback at how spot on it was. I've enjoyed the challenge a lot - it's taken me new and old places! Looking forward to the reveal....and I didn't peak:)