So basically last night my mother was saying to me at dinner that I should consider eating dairy and eggs again as she thinks being vegan has turned me into a basket case!

I said that thats not the case, but she said that my mood has been a little off and she thinks it has to do with soy milk etc. It was also added that i appear to be run down and tired.

My mother then said that that until I am living by myself that it is too difficult for me to be vegan ...get this: because i am excluded from the rest of the family when they have apple pie etc. She said that she doesn't want to have to have heaps of dishes (vegan dishes and non vegan dishes) being made each night.

I explained to her how i cannot eat dairy or eggs again as man was not meant to eat it etc. and that i strongly believe in the welfare of the animals and my health.

My mother then said that if i were really concerned with my own health that i would start consuming eggs and dairy again.

To clarify this more my mother meant that i should not worry about consuming a dessert meal even if it had a bit of butter and or milk, egg etc in it.

She thinks that i need to be able to eat their desserts etc, to be social and mingle with them!

The conversation eventually lead to honey and i said that i would consume honey to make her happy (i did this to dodge the bullet of having to consume dairy and eggs and am not happy about having to consume honey).

I TRULY NEED YOUR HELP!!!

Just to let you guys know I am 17 years old and I finish year 12 in 26 days so i am planning to move out ASAP so i can live vegan without any stress from my mother.

The best thing you can do is work with your mother to bake things just as delicious with alternative ingredients. Also offer to make your own meals and take this as an opportunity to learn to cook. Back when i first became vegan it was so foreign that doing this was a must.

Instead of letting it break your relationship with your mother apart teach her new and interesting things. If she's worried about soy use almond milk. If you have a few bucks pick up cook books to use and let her read. If not print recipes off the internet.

My mother got it eventually. No we have the most diverse meals ever on holidays.

Work with her not against her.

Last edited by ForwardConcern on Tue Oct 04, 2011 10:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ForwardConcern my mother is a chef and she has been cooking meals with vegan alternatives etc for tha past half a year that i have been vegan. I have been cooking my own dinner lately, she said that that is the main problem; that either she has to or i have to make something different for dinner each night. It just doesn't make sense to me!

I will try the alternatives to soy milk definately though!

Fallen_Horse i definately will buy maple syrup and agave syrup as soon as i get a job again. The reason for my mother wanting me to have honey is so that she doesn't have to buy vegan museli bars and so that my vegetarian sister and my step siblings can have normal museli bars. (Don't you think this is ridiculous considering i don't even eat museli bars).

It seems like my mother is just trying to make up excuses for me to stop being vegan.

Have you tried cooking with her using it as an opportunity for you two to bond?

As for honey that's a grey area for vegans... I use to avoid for years. Now i just pick other alternatives when available and if not like if i'm out or I forgot my flask of Agave i pick it over white sugar in my coffee or tea. If I'm starving and there's a granola bar that would be vegan except the honey and nothing else available I don't feel it's the end of the world if I eat it.

If it makes life easier and only something small don't beat yourself up over it and just do it. Just do it. Jut make sure she puts in effort to appeal to you from time to time.

It's about doing the best you can. If you let it ruin relationships and push yourself too hard you might rubberband in a completely different direction with your diet. I've been Vegan 16 years and seen it happen all to often with others because they didn't take it in stride.

So that's my advice work with your mom, concede small things like honey as long as she'll return the favour. And work with her use it as an opportunity to bond.

She's right too. Don't eat the same thing every night... Get into food! And start enjoying all the different variants and options out there. Then your food will be your medicine and it won't affect your mood and only be a positive part of life. Check out documentaries about food there's some great ones on the net. Find the less heavy stuff to show her about how terrible our food has become. She will probably find them empowering providing knowledge.

Buy her a copy of 'A Diet For A New America'. Read it have her read it.

Teach her, accept what she decides to take from it instead of being critical though she may be critical herself and hopefully things will be more positive.

Do everything you can to make your choices a positive influence on things (you'll think of ways).

ForwardConcern wrote:Have you tried cooking with her using it as an opportunity for you two to bond?

As for honey that's a grey area for vegans... I use to avoid for years. Now i just pick other alternatives when available and if not like if i'm out or I forgot my flask of Agave i pick it over white sugar in my coffee or tea. If I'm starving and there's a granola bar that would be vegan except the honey and nothing else available I don't feel it's the end of the world if I eat it.

If it makes life easier and only something small don't beat yourself up over it and just do it. Just do it. Jut make sure she puts in effort to appeal to you from time to time.

It's about doing the best you can. If you let it ruin relationships and push yourself too hard you might rubberband in a completely different direction with your diet. I've been Vegan 16 years and seen it happen all to often with others because they didn't take it in stride.

So that's my advice work with your mom, concede small things like honey as long as she'll return the favour. And work with her use it as an opportunity to bond.

She's right too. Don't eat the same thing every night... Get into food! And start enjoying all the different variants and options out there. Then your food will be your medicine and it won't affect your mood and only be a positive part of life. Check out documentaries about food there's some great ones on the net. Find the less heavy stuff to show her about how terrible our food has become. She will probably find them empowering providing knowledge.

Buy her a copy of 'A Diet For A New America'. Read it have her read it.

Teach her, accept what she decides to take from it instead of being critical though she may be critical herself and hopefully things will be more positive.

Do everything you can to make your choices a positive influence on things (you'll think of ways).

Well I have managed to avoid eating honey at the moment and will continue to do so. Also I have started to make Pastas and have made an effort to tie in my meal with theirs, i.e. if they are having roast beef and veggies I will prep and cook the roasted veggies on a big tray for the both of us, it seems to be working well. My mum was just pissed that I was never at the dinner table with them, or when I was I would always be late as I was cooking a completely different dish to theirs. But Now I am always there on time. Despite this my mother is still trying to get me to eat honey and not worry about it but I just try to avoid her bringing it up and it has worked for me so far ( haven't had any honey ).

Simply don't eat non vegan meals, it's not that hard. No need to explain yourself either. And I'd suggest washing your own dishes and may be cooking for yourself. Ask her to teach you to cook the vegan foods she knows.

Duncan_Idaho wrote:Simply don't eat non vegan meals, it's not that hard. No need to explain yourself either. And I'd suggest washing your own dishes and may be cooking for yourself. Ask her to teach you to cook the vegan foods she knows.

Sorry, but I don't think you totally understand what my mother is unhappy with. She isn't happy that I am vegan while I am still growing, as she thinks it is effecting my mood and body as I am still growing. I am not trying to be rude.

First of all, people go through moody periods, especially during puberty / adolescence, and isn't necessarily related to food in the first place.

I can't see the argument for eating dairy / eggs for health, but her point of view is further damaged because she's talking about apple pie - not a health food at all.

But, to try to mend the situation, I don't know what else to say beyond what others have said. Be positive about the situation, help her with cooking and washing up and everything else, so that there is no ammunition for her to use.

To try to convince her of the healthiness of veganism, perhaps show her some of the profiles from this website, of people who you think she would be impressed by.