Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Do the Damn Thing! Albany on Blast!

This one is strictly for my mami, who is in Albany right now finishing up the NY State Bar Exam. This post is intended to send out the good vibes to her, although I know that she is going to come through this with flying colors. Why am I so confident? Well, since she left, I have seen a man in pants that had apples (red and yellow) all over them, a midget was on Blind Date (the television show) with a regular-sized person, and the cat jumped nearly 4 feet in the air to catch a fly. If those aren't good omens, I don't know omens. Plus, she is brilliant and smart and prepared, meaning that she done the damn thing! Come back to the Illadelph ASAP, as the cat keeps making cheese curls.

Good thoughts are going out to MF, EC, LD, ML and anyone else taking this exam this week. I am certain that you will all pass, and will be doing real big things at the end of the summer.

-I couldn't help but smile when I saw this article inSlate looking at one of our favorites, Rachael Ray. She is the host of 30 Minute Meals on the Food Channel, a cooking show designed for the average person who doesn't want to spend a lot of time in the kitchen nor spend a lot of money to make a meal. Her enthusiasm, giggle, and use of entire sticks of butter (and occasional 50 Cent quote) hooked me immediately, and she has become a staple of my TV viewing from 6-7 pm. It ain't Charlie Rose, but it is an enjoyable, fun show.

Unfortunately, the very qualities that endear her to me has made her the bane of the foodie community. Go here for the meanest site, Rachael Ray Sucks, which proves that these critics are quite creative with their titles. Read the ongoing dialogue and you will need no more proof that the Internet is frequented by sad, lonely, pathetic idiots. (Go here for more proof.) Their constant insults about her appearance also proves that the mirror industry will be out of business shortly. Go here and here for more hating, as they froth at her use of common ingredients, her ditzy personality and anything else they can come up with.

-Here is the funniest thing I have read in a minute. This woman has put together a list of Rachael Ray comments from her show that come across as sexual innuendo. Again, only funny to me and MC, perhaps, as she has had to put up with my numerous observations about Rachael's penchant for sausages. Whatever.

-MC told me this week of the prevalence of poop, pee and semen on bedsheets and blankets in hotel rooms. I thought that this was ridiculous, but the story was confirmed by AJ, meaning that it had to be true. I was horrified at this thought, whereby I have laid my face on some other dude's poop molecules or touched a semen-stained remote control. This is not right, people, not at all! All of this made this article all the worse, the equivalent of the hotel concierges roughing me up, then dunking my head in the toilet, which was just used by an entire convention of retired cops. Step your game up, Hilton and Marriot and Howard Johnson. Change the fucking sheets every day, for real. Oh, and wash your hands. I mean, really.

Check back later, as there will be a massive music post. Don Omar mp3s, links, and a look at a new site or two.