Posts Tagged ‘ernest lessons’

“On my desk next to my typewriter I have the following words emblazoned on a plaque and whenever I find myself struggling with writer’s block, I turn to them and I inevitably feel more relaxed and more at ease with myself and my work, heed them well:

‘Remember the three M’s: Misogyny, Machine-guns, & Murder, as long as these three are present in a story, one is surely to never fail.’

Alas, the lessor known three N’s are not as reliable as the three M’s: Ninjas, Nickels, & Note-cards.

The three M’s though, these words have never failed me and I find that my readers are always pleased when these elements are in place. I mean afterall, who could say no to a story about a machine-gun? Would you?”

“I was nibbling on a lemon cookie this morning when I happened to view the drama that is nature. A small fly flew into a brown spider’s web. As the fly struggled in vain against the web and as I watched the brown spider creep ever closer to its prey, a lovely thought came into my mind, a revelation about life and the very essence of nature: you can take the girl out of Jersey, but not the Jersey out of the girl, a friend of mine from Jersey actually eats glass, I swear to god….glass!”

“Fidel Castro once gave me some advice that I’ve never forgotten. Hemmy he said to me, ‘Never forget this piece of advice I’m about to share with you, it got me out of some tough pickles back in my day: You can take the tuna out of the can, but you can’t take the can out of the tuna!’ That’s always stuck with me, but then again so has the vomit stain thats on my favorite coat, tacos and tequilla do not make for a good mix.”