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When pressed for his thoughts on infamous wall fetishistDonald Trump's competition within the GOP, Boehner minced no words regarding Cruz. "Lucifer in the flesh," Boehner told the crowd, according to the Stanford Daily. "I have Democrat friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life." Just so we're clear, here's a brief but fascinating breakdown of Boehner's description of fellow Republican Ted Cruz:

Lucifer

Miserable

Son of a bitch

Ouch, Boehner. What about the rest of the Republican field? Sadly, Boehner's ire was solely reserved for Cruz. Trump and Boehner are apparently old golfing pals (of course they are) and "texting buddies," whatever that means. As for John Kasich, who recently kicked off some BFF action with Cruz just to halt Trump from dominating the delegate math, Boehner hints at differences but ultimately settles on nothing but love for the Ohio governor: "[Kasich] requires more effort on my behalf than all my other friends, but he’s still my friend and I love him."

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Boehner also spit his thoughts on leading Democratic candidateHillary Clinton, presenting a compelling theory about a surprise nomination that somehow manages to involve both Barack ObamaandJoe Biden. "Don't be shocked," Boehner posited, "if two weeks before the convention, here comes Joe Biden parachuting in and Barack Obama fanning the flames to make it all happen." Visually speaking, the image that brings to mind is too great for someone out there to not Photoshop it into existence. Make it happen, world.