Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas
bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, "We agree it was rather high
for the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the
gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house."
(The Daily Telegraph)

Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because
they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and they
don't want the public to know what it looks like.
(The Guardian)

At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coastguard and
asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he
didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just
blown his Land Rover off the cliff.
(Aberdeen Evening Express)

Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue, Boscombe, delighted the audience
with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each
week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she
recalled. "He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the
crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt
out 'Heil Hitler.'"
(Bournemouth Evening Echo)

Ray

_________________I aim to live for ever.... and it's taking me that long to get my workshop finished!

A young man called 911 to report that someone had broken into his apartment and stolen his "weed stash". The police went and investagated the theft but could not charge the man with possesion because the evidence had been stolen!!!

Rog

_________________Dont badmouth no strangers, they just friends you aint met yet.

An ounce of responsibility is worth a pound of State and Federal laws.

I spent most of my money on woodworking
tools and beer, the rest I just wasted.

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