There once was a band of malcontent street musicians known as The Bad Mintons, who embarked on a noble quest to serenade drunk people out of their spare change and cigarettes. The Mintons earned their money the hard way, and they spent it on the hard stuff. Whiskey was their muse, tobacco was their breakfast, and the Devil was their personal friend.

And lo, this band of neer-sing-wells minstrelled to and fro across the face of our great nation, bringing joy and laughter wherever they did play. Their friendly, cheerful music kicked sorrow in the face and crushed the windpipe of unhappiness. And they did this, and they did that … blah blah blah, time went on, et cetera … now they’re old and boring.

BUT! They made a music video, which will be released this month! It’s the video for their superhit megasingle SNAZZY PORTLAND — shot in the streets of Portland, Oregon! Staring the people of Portland! Co-starring the streets, buildings, and inanimate objects of Portland! It’s a song about our city: why we love it, what’s great about it, and how much other cities suck.

We’re very proud of our little film, and we want to show it off to you. In the next two weeks, we’ve organized three — three! — special chances for our Portland neighbors to watch this video on the big screen, in advance of its internet small-screen release.

YOUR FIRST CHANCE TO SEE IT: If you pitched in with the huge volunteer effort to make this video — or if you’d like to be part of the huge volunteer effort to smear it all over the Interwebs like mayonnaise — or if you just want to come say hi — then please swing by our SNAZZY PORTLAND VOLUNTEER PREVIEWFEST and barbequeue hoedown this Friday the 15th of June, at 5536 NE 27th Ave. Between 7 and 10 pm we’ll be grilling hot dogs in the back yard, watching videos in the living room, and at some point there might be a tearful speech in the kitchen. It’s an early-evening all-ages affair because we know you’ve got lots of other music video release parties to get to that night. Bring a friend! Bring something to share!

YOUR SECOND CHANCE: On the night of Thursday June 21st, we’ll be screening SNAZZY PORTLAND at the Solstice Pre-Funk, a wild dance party at Refuge PDX with live music from Solovox, Pumpkin and the Woo All-Stars! Black Rock attire is optional but fabulous. It’s Matt & Tanya’s ten year anniversary!

YOUR THIRD CHANCE: June 28th, at Alberta Street’s notorious LAST THURSDAY art-melee, the Bad Mintons will be out marauding, yodeling, strumming and honking, on your block and in your face! Then at sunset we will show SNAZZY PORTLAND on the big screen at Rose City Vaudeville! That’s on the corner of 19th & NE Alberta. Fire dancing to follow!

YOUR OTHER THIRD CHANCE: If you passed out early from those last-Thursday mimosas … shake yourself awake and stumble over to the late-late screening: Midnight @ The Know: 21st and Alberta. We’ll play this video one more time, with VJ Nono and his amazing EYE CANDY!

What’s that? You say you want to watch this amazing video, but you don’t live in Portland? Well, that’s remarkably poor planning on your part. But don’t fret: the YouTube/Vimeo/Facebook/Tumblr/Flickr/Sniffr/Pootr release of Snazzy Portland is coming to a handheld device near you soon! You’ll hear it here first, soon! Just glue your eyeballs to this blog and all will be revealed … SOON!