A lot of internet-based jokers are gonna tell you the reason that YACHT are planning to take a bus on their upcoming tour is because apparently comedy is based on surprise and subverting expectations and you’d probably expect them to tour on some big fancy boat or something because of their name. But listen, if I’ve learned anything about comedy from my pal Marc Maron on his popular internet program WTF, it’s that comedy is actually about honesty. So I’m going to be honest: YACHT are going to tour by bus because it would not be feasible for them to travel by boat because last I checked America is mostly dirt. Honesty! Also, Marc Maron call-back: the dude played a guitar solo on a YACHT track from last year about how the NSA is reading our emails, called “Party in the NSA.” I know I say this a lot, but the internet is weird.

Speaking of the internet being weird, not only are YACHT going on tour, but they also made an app, sort of like Björk or Netflix! Theirs is called 5 Every Day and it’s for people who are like “Man, I’m in Los Angeles and I wanna do five things today.” Basically, every day the app presents the user with a curated list of five things do in Los Angeles, like visit a psychic, buy a gun, or shop for lunch meat. About the app they say, “5 Every Day is an online tool, but it points outwards, suggesting and creating ephemeral moments that enrich users’ lives.” To put it another way: they’re going to use the internet to make people stop using the internet. Weird tactic, guys.

As part of the tour I told you about in the first paragraph, the band is planning a big ol’ launch party for the app tomorrow, July 24, which seems to me like substituting one weird thing (the internet) for another (a party with people at it), but what do I know? I just write about the internet on the internet.

A lot of internet-based jokers are gonna tell you the reason that YACHT are planning to take a bus on their upcoming tour is because apparently comedy is based on surprise and subverting expectations and you’d probably expect them to tour on some big fancy boat or something because of their name. But listen, if I’ve learned anything about comedy from my pal Marc Maron on his popular internet program WTF, it’s that comedy is actually about honesty. So I’m going to be honest: YACHT are going to tour by bus because it would not be feasible for them to travel by boat because last I checked America is mostly dirt. Honesty! Also, Marc Maron call-back: the dude played a guitar solo on a YACHT track from last year about how the NSA is reading our emails, called “Party in the NSA.” I know I say this a lot, but the internet is weird.

Speaking of the internet being weird, not only are YACHT going on tour, but they also made an app, sort of like Björk or Netflix! Theirs is called 5 Every Day and it’s for people who are like “Man, I’m in Los Angeles and I wanna do five things today.” Basically, every day the app presents the user with a curated list of five things do in Los Angeles, like visit a psychic, buy a gun, or shop for lunch meat. About the app they say, “5 Every Day is an online tool, but it points outwards, suggesting and creating ephemeral moments that enrich users’ lives.” To put it another way: they’re going to use the internet to make people stop using the internet. Weird tactic, guys.

As part of the tour I told you about in the first paragraph, the band is planning a big ol’ launch party for the app tomorrow, July 24, which seems to me like substituting one weird thing (the internet) for another (a party with people at it), but what do I know? I just write about the internet on the internet.

Bad news everyone! Flying Lotus has officially announced a new album after tweeting way back when what was incorrectly deemed a narration of a cake he was making, but the problem is… you’ve apparently keeled over, so the chances of this message reaching your cognitive processes depends entirely on the power of the message relayed. We can’t stop short of resuscitation, so allow me to communicate, in case you aren’t a follower of Ellison’s dedicated account:

“Finally!” he tweeted very recently. And with that, all of your biological systems reignite, with a particular emphasis on the respiratory, so you can start breathing heavily over the rest of the message: “Finally! So much went into this one. Lots of talented artists helped realize this vision. Looking fwd to sharing details and music soon.” You’re Dead! comes out October 7 (October 6 in the UK) on Warp, and in lieu of the details yet-to-be-shared, we have both tour dates and an album-specific visual, full of mutilated corpses falling through some sort of space wormhole thing. “Ugh, the weatherperson totally blew this forecast!” a future tourist of the Universe might say.

We’ll probably keep you apprised of things like the tracklisting and stuff. I’m really curious about the guest musicians as well.

DJ Mustard, the L.A. soundsmith responsible for YG’s sound, will release a free album titled 10 Summers next month. Mustard’s BFFs 2 Chainz, Lil Wayne, Jeezy (who is no longer Young), and Bompton’s very own YG will be throwing down some verses and hooks that’ll surely fit right into his arsenal of hits best played during the ratchet hour. August 12 is when you’ll Throw Your Hood Up for No Reason, while you’re creepin’ on the Low Low, telling Ghetto Tales to Giuseppee, the guy who Can’t Tell Me Shit… you get the idea.

Peep that album art doe. The man responsible for the tag, “Mustard on the beat, ho!” sure looks like an insightful fella. I wonder if he’s thinking about whether he should cop a giant gold ketchup chain to go with his giant gold mustard chain. “Too basic or nah?” says Mustard. Or maybe he’s wondering if he needs a haircut or a new novelty beard design. “Too Riff Raff or nah?” mutters Mustard. I say, do you, boo, my little ratchet king!

You know when you push your fists into your eyes and everything goes red for a moment but if you keep pushing a little longer and a little harder then everything goes intense and swirly and you’re not sure whether it’s the oxygen running out of your brain or a transcendental experience? Or both? You know that feeling, right?

That same feeling is exactly what you should imagine the debut full-length release by Tallesen (a.k.a. New York visual artist Cayman Johnson) is going to be like. It’s called Stills Lit Through and is set to be released by Software on October 7.

Tallesen himself describes the album as a response to “the continuous flexibility of the physical setting by the additive of sound.” So yeah, expect the aural equivalent of that self-induced hypoxic out-of-body-experience thing in the form of intensely artistic electronic soundscapes. Swirls behind the eyes indeed. Listen to “Strike Silver, Love Green” below:

Christopher Owens, the former Girls frontman, will perform and tour behind a revamped version of the Scriptures yet again. Just not like that this time; Owens has actually announced a new solo album, the cheekily titled A New Testament, out on September 30 and to be followed by a Fall Tour of the US. It’s no coincidence that the LP’s title recalls the vaguely religious non-descriptiveness of Girls’ Album or Father, Son, Holy Ghost, for it marks a return to full-band work for Owens, following 2013’s nearly-career-killing Lysandre, the Florida native’s lukewarmly received solo debut.

A New Testament reunites the singer with the musicians who worked alongside him during Girls’ last days — though not Chet “JR” White, his main songwriting foil in that period, whom he remains estranged with. According to advance press for the album, A New Testament includes songs predating Owens’ Girls tenure, which is neither bad nor good in itself, since — despite the accolades garnered by the group — it’s time to admit their two albums (and an EP) were quite a bit overrated, if not downright corny.

Shaping up as a return to Girls’ working template in all but name, thethree tracks Owens has shared from the album so far confirm that A New Testament will feature the same wear-your-heart-on-your-sleeve poignancy and harmless, warm classic rock sound that endeared Girls to so many. You can hear A New Testament’s first cut, “Nothing More Than Everything to Me,” in the Max-Minghella-directed video streaming below.

A New Testament is out on September 30, via Turnstile Records.

A New Testament tracklisting

01. My Troubled Heart
02. Nothing More Than Everything To Me
03. It Comes Back to You
04. Stephen
05. Oh My Love
06. Nobody’s Business
07. A Heart Akin the Wind
08. Key to My Heart
09. Over and Above Myself
10. Never Wanna See That Look Again
11. Overcoming Me
12. I Just Can’t Live Without You (But I’m Still Alive)