The index is based on the amount of money the population donates to charity, the number of hours that citizens dedicate to volunteer work, and how generous they are to strangers.

Tied for third place was Ireland and Canada. God, Canada! They always think they're so much better than us with their free health care and hockey stars. Now this? But what's even worse than being beaten by our great neighbor to the north is that we're tied for fifth with Switzerland. What? They can't even take sides in a war! We have to be better than them. And isn't that the country that allowed Roman Polanski live there? That should automatically knock them down a few places or something.

Speaking of the bottom of the chart, poorer populous countries like China, India, and Russia were near the bottom of the 153 countries ranked. That's fine, guys. We won't hold it against you until the 2012 Olympics roll around.