Naomia Campbell can procreate

Naomi Campbell underwent corrective womb surgery or something like that and is now able to have babies. Elated, the 38-year-old model insists on living out her dream of becoming pregnant. She’s even willing to use a turkey baster.

“Now I can have a child I would like one. I’m even willing to have one without a father. I know that I am ready.”

Naomi also suggests being a mother would make her less prone to violence.

“I know that with a baby I would change, I’d calm down. With a child you cannot accept compromises. You have to give your full self.”

In Naomi’s house, discipline will be a little different. Instead of spankings and timeouts, punishment will be doled out by grabbing various types of communication devices and throwing them at the head. This will either make her child an excellent dodge ball player or turn them into a retard of Paris Hilton proportions.