Q: Why did Jesus die on the cross?

I saw this one day too late for Easter, but the dominatrixes among our readership might still enjoy watching this Nodis commercial that’s apparently caused quite a stir in Italy. Jesus, who’s got his hands all tied up by a dominatrix, can still use his Nodis bluetooth earpiece to make a phone call to his dad (who is God, by the way). The Catholics Bishops Conference is calling for a boycott of the company.

Natalie is a writer, editor and stripper from California who works there and in Las Vegas. She strapped on her first pair of seven-inch stilettos and never looked back, despite taunts from the bartender of "Why don't you brush your hair?" and "Grunge isn't cool any more." Ignoring those who were determined to crush her dreams, Natalie persevered, still doesn't brush her hair, and is doing pretty fuckin' fine nonetheless.
Also, grunge will always be cool, and the bartender was eventually fired for being an asshole.