An Inspirational Feel-Good Post to Share With Any of Your Friends or Neighbors Who Could Really Use a Boost Today

1) Genghis Khan’s warriors ate koumiss. Koumiss is fermented mare’s milk. Sometimes they would let it harden in the sun so they could snack on it later. Think of it as a poor man’s Frito.

2) When out of koumiss, these guys drank their own horse’s blood. Straight from the horse’s vein. Sometimes they’d let the blood harden like they did the koumiss, so they’d have two snacks later. Mongol warriors were just loaded with snacks.

3) When these warriors stepped out of line, their punishment was to be wrapped in huge woven rugs. That might sound okay, but consider this. They were then trampled by horses.

In all the other moments of their day, they were trying not to be killed in battle. And it was below freezing. And nobody bathed.

So if you are having a bad day today because the fax didn’t go through, or the Chevy wouldn’t start, look at the bright side:

Well, actually it seems very similar to Jerky, doesn’t it? Dried meat rubbed with spices and then sold in grocery stores as snacks! And, I sure hope Dick Cheney doesn’t read this book, or else Waterboarding will be a thing from the past, and it’ll be time for some woven-rug horse trampling!

So SP, next time you make the bed you can think of the Mongol horde’s typical day. So cartoonists must have a great life anyway tho. F’rinstance, your 41 years old, and the worst thing you can find to rant about is an overabundance of bed pillows? Lucky! Course, I’d be pissed about that too, but I’m just a hard working phone man with store bought buns. Love your stuff, and I can picture Rat soliliquizing on the very same thing. Wait…. is Rat (gasp!)…you???!!!

The Masai people in east Africa tap into their cows’ veins to drink the blood as a way of getting nutrition without killing the animals — though they kill and eat them, too. Just a good plan throughout the ages!

They still drink fermented mare’s milk in Mongolia. My sister did a Peace Corps stint there, and they fed it to her. She said it tasted like vomit, and they said, “Oh, you just need to put some sugar in it.” She said that made it taste like sweetened vomit.