What’s the fastest you’ve ever run a mile? That’s cool. James Nielsen can probably beat your time, and just for good measure he’ll stop before each quarter-mile and chug a beer.

Watch the clip below to see the former two-time Division III champion in the 5,000-meter set a new world record in the “Beer Mile” (thanks to some advanced studying of the upper-sphincter), becoming the first human to ever complete the feat in under five minutes (4:57). It will make you feel awful about yourself. The previous record of 5:09 was held by Jim Finlayson, according to BeerMile.com.

1. why would you want to even try this
2. extremely disappointed he didn’t immediately puke crossing the finish line
3. If he really wanted to rub it in he cold’ve done the math to show how many calories burned vs consumed and made us all feel like bigger pieces of shit for drinking beers while sitting down and eating pizza

There was a guy I played soccer with in college at Clemson who, after coming back from National team camp, went out a partied at the bars, later running into our head coach. Needless to say our coach was a little pissed and told him to show up at the tack at 7 am. He did, in the same clothes from the night before. Our fitness test was 3 miles in 17:30. He proceeded to run 3 miles in under 17 minutes bare foot, in khakis and still hammered. It was incredible.