It’s bad enough to purloin drinks from your fellow restaurant patrons, but police in upstate New York say one TGI Fridays customer added insult to injury by not only walking around sipping from other customers’ beverages, but she then allegedly smashed a drinking glass against the manager’s head after being told she’d have to leave. [More]

Two Texas 18-year-old men have been accused of treating Walmart customers like some kind of animal to be hunted. Police say the twosome blew darts at shoppers, including an elderly woman on a motorized scooter and a 10-year-old boy. [More]

On Christmas Eve in Batavia, N.Y., an elderly Walmart greeter asked a 26-year-old customer for the receipt for her electronics purchases. Instead, the customer allegedly punched her in the face and tried to flee. A mob of customers chased her and prevented her car from leaving the parking lot, and she’s now in jail, charged with two counts of assault. Here’s the unusual part: the customer had receipts for all of her purchases. [More]

Let’s say you’re in a rush after buying a fan at Costco. You look past the line packed with people and carts and spy a lone employee standing by the exit. Do you walk over and show your receipt? What’s the worst that could happen? Let’s ask Reader Shay. [More]

A man in Sandusky, Ohio, grew so angry at the price of some crab cakes that he punched the store manager “five or six times,” head butted him, and spit in his face. According to the Associated Press article, there was a pricing error in the customer’s favor, and the manager had offered to give the customer the first crab cake at the incorrect price but wanted to charge full price for the rest. [More]

This security footage from a BJ’s Wholesale in Florida shows a man trying to steal two computers, and the store’s elderly greeter/receipt-checker giving chase. Almost all the good stuff happens off screen, so you’ll have to imagine the awesome karate moves that probably ensued. It’s retail crime fighting in action!

Robby didn’t feel like showing his receipt to the Walmart receipt checker, and when the guy came after him, Robby ignored him. That’s when other shoppers started closing in on him, and why he started running.

After it broke last week that Stamford Marriott Hotel & Spa was claiming it was the fault of the victim and her two toddlers that she was raped in their parking garage, the hotel has decided to withdraw the claim. They also apologized for the rape in a general sort of way—but not for subpoenaing her friends and professional acquaintances who otherwise would not have known about the crime.

Various water parks in Florida have taken on a weird Westworld vibe this summer, only instead of robots gone mad it’s fellow parkgoers, and instead of trying to kill you they’re trying get at your genitals. And by “you” we mean teenaged girls and boys.

Earlier this month, we wrote about a Tennessee police officer who shoved a 71-year-old Walmart greeter to the ground after he tried to check his receipt. He originally wasn’t going to face charges; now he’s been suspended and the Tennessee Bureau of Investigation is looking into it.

Joseph Gregorie, a (former?) Walmart loss prevention officer, is going to make sure nobody steals on his watch, especially not in this economic climate. After seeing a 58-year-old woman stuff several items in her tote bag and head for the exit, he introduced himself. She dropped the bag but continued to leave the store, so he “grabbed [her] in a bear-hug and threw her to the ground,” giving the woman a pretty impressive looking black eye in the process. They’ve both been arrested.

Up until last week, Victoria Smith was a Customer Service Manager with at a Wal-Mart in New York. Then she intercepted a shoplifter, released her to the wild (as is legally required), and then got punched in the face when the shoplifter snapped and ran back into the store. Three days later, she was fired for touching the customer.

Breasts make men crazy. The hypnotic jiggling of rose-tipped orbs have been enough to make men do all sorts of insane things: bungee jump, wear leather pants, claim to have coined the phrase “Pardon my French.”