Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Ready to explode

I am really stressed out today. School holidays and busy weekends are bad enough without other stress factors thrown in. I am really boiling with anger today and cannot settle or rest which of course is bad for the ME and there are certain people who just wind me up and have a bad effect on me, even if I only see them for a few minutes Joyce Fox calls them poisonous people, harsh but true.

The adrenaline is surging around my body so I cannot settle whilst Emily is not here and then when she comes back I will be tired and bad tempered :( its not fair to her or my husband who will also cop for it later ~X( I have things to do but cannot settle to anything, not even a book, although the one I am reading is a bit strange and confusing so maybe not the best thing to be reading, but I am hoping it gets better once I get into it. The reviews for it are good, albeit only 2 of them.

The only plus of being so angry is that I have very little pain at the moment, I did have a bad headache, but its easing now, but later I will be in agony and unable to sleep despite being exhausted. I can't have another sleeping tablets as had two in a week, not had any for ages before that, but don't have many left and Dr does not want to let me have any more. I need to be able to drive in the morning too as I am supposed to be taking Emily to see Rumplestiltskin, should be good, but hard work for me and I feel sick thinking about it, oh dear.

I wrote the first few lines of my book the other day, there's a long way to go, but it's a start and will hopefully be helpful too, it certainly can't hurt. I am doing it just for me and Emily, I may share it if its any good or seems particularly helpful, but it does not really make any difference what other people think. I showed it to my husband and he says change this change that, but I want tit to be in my words not someone else's, I am sure I will make changes as I go along as I am rarely satisfied with what I produce. Even with this blog if I reread it I end up making changes, sometimes its best just to press publish and leave it be.

Well I have rambled on and got no further so I had better sign off and try to focus on something else for a while and try to calm down before Emily gets home.