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Monday, March 12, 2012

Thoughts on Motherhood

I think just like anything in life, it is one of those things you can either let gobble you up or you can gobble it up. It stretches you in the most profound way. It teaches you that what we once viewed as limits are nothing but the insecure creation of a fragile mind scared of getting hurt.

I've realized much in my short 11 months of motherhood.

I've realized that I am much more patient than I ever thought I was, more loving, more kind, more self-sacrificing. To say that a mother will do anything for her child is a gross understatement. I often say to women who are not yet mothers, or who are pregnant with their first, that with motherhood comes a feeling you just can't explain. It's true. Someone once told me that - "You just can't explain it." I thought, how silly, you can explain anything if you try. No, you can't. You can't explain that feeling. You can't explain it because it is beyond the fragile parameters of our language. It is a feeling that there are no words for. It is a feeling that surpasses all other feelings, makes all other feelings seem ridiculous and childish in comparison.

And when your baby gets sick, that feeling overwhelms your very being and you know that more stretching is due.

Sofia came down with a cold this past week and then (as seems to always happy with sweet babies) a top tooth decided to make its debut. I've never seen a gum so swollen. It was the size of a marble and looked so inflamed and painful. Which it must have been because she was screaming in pain. Now, this is another mommy thing - you know your baby's cries. You know when your baby is crying out of frustration or irritability or need and when you baby is crying out of pain. There is a very distinct difference and my sweet baby was screaming in pain.

So I was stretched, my patience was tested and I learned some very valuable tricks that made all of the difference. Of course, as every mommy knows - all babies are different, but these tricks worked wonders for Sofia.

Babies mold you in the most amazing way, if you let them. They teach you the most beautiful things about this world, about our Creator, about life and love and human need.

So make that decision, not to let motherhood gobble you up, but to instead gobble it up.