You have a great way of changing the way you write, the tone and suchlike. This read so differently from the first Chapter to me. I like how straight away it was obviously in usual reality by using just everyday objects to show this didn’t have the same dreamy feel as the previous chapter.

I loved Sirius’ characterisation, it was written so subtly with his actions and thoughts and showed more to the guy portrayed by so many as just being an arrogant, womanising user (I’m not a fan of that image – so I like yours more!).

This, compared to the billions of other Sirius/OC stories I’ve read, really stuck out for one main reason: because it was from Sirius’ pov. I’m not even sure I’ve read one before – that’s not to say they’re not out there of course but so many people use the OC as the narrator. The marauders – despite being written about so much – are rarely used for the first person narrating so it was such a nice change. Not to mention it added a lot to his characterisation.

You’ve already begun to build up the relationship between Sirius and James which I always think is good – it’s always nice to see it before you actually see them together. The jokeyness, the loyalty and the friendship is already there along with the bond Sirius obviously has with James’ parents.

The reference to how much he’d like a motorbike was brilliant, I love little canon type details like that where you introduce something we know will happen later. I love reading the origins of later objects or personality traits so that was great.

All round great chapter, I really liked it and how different it seems from many Sirius/OC stories I’ve read. Good stuff :) (I’m really hoping I can find the time to read “Baby, just be yourself” as well – it looks awesome, I love Remus/OC.)

Hey! So I’m getting a kick-start on the TGS Frantic Frenzy and wanted to start by having a look at some of the stuff by my lovely fellow team-members! First of all I have to compliment your summary for this, it was exactly that which made me want to read it straight away – not to mention I am a Sirius/OC addict so it’s entirely up my street.

Your writing style in this first chapter is absolutely lovely, it flows so well and your description really is out of this world. In particular these few lines stood out for me: “When she walked she walked with incontrovertible grace, her movements were lithe and sinuous. Like a dancer.
And although her face was streaked with tears and grime and painted with hurt and pain she still seemed to glow and radiate a certain brightness.” I thought that was just so beautifully written.

I love chapters like this one – particularly to begin a fic – where there isn’t any need for dialogue or blatant references to characters or familiar settings – it was a hold new world in itself. I loved the ending – having it all as a dream and I think you really did bring that dream-like quality to it so well.

WHO'S THE GIRL? I demands an answer. I already love this characterisation of Sirius. 'Legend' but only really appealing to the young girls, and a bit of a bastard really. That's fantastic.
Umm...I want an update. Because I want to know who the girl is. Sorry for the pathetic review. I really am enjoying this =]

Author's Response: HA HA, I WANT TO KNOW TOO!
Hee hee, kidding! I do know ;)
Thanks very much Jack! Any review from you is a good one! Thanks!

So I finally got around to reading one of your fics, and thank God I did! Put simply this was beautiful. Beautifully written, beautifully described, everything about it was just perfect for me.

I'm really not a fan of Sirius/OC, but this is really good. I like it alot, and I definitely want to go and read more of it, but I'll finish this first. There's no need to put the cart before the horse ;D

And although her face was streaked with tears and grime and painted with hurt and pain she still seemed to glow and radiate a certain brightness.
I loved that part!

Oh my God, I could just picture it so vividly and with such clarity, it just blew me away.

You're obviously a very very talented writer.

10/10♥

Author's Response: Oh my goodness, Liam! You're so sweet :)

Thank you so much! I so happy that you liked it, I'm always freaking out about this fic. He he. Naw, thanks so much!