The Black Friday that Wasn’t

We joined a gym, yet again. And now we are privy to a multitude of exercise classes, torture cardio devices and weights. Surprisingly, I have made my way in there a handful of times and re-discovered my love/hate relationship with the stair-stepper.

Thanksgiving break! Bry and I made the pilgrimage (haha get it) over to Kennewick on Thursday morning with just enough time to help my mom prepare WAY too much food, adorn the table with sparkly pumpkins and drink a few bottles of wine. Dinner was fantastic, but the ensuing game of salad bowl was even better.

The next morning, per tradition, Megan, my Mom and I hit the Black Friday sales with high hopes of scoring dirt cheap toasters, half priced socks and the freetothefirst50customers SNOW GLOBE. I guzzled down my Starbucks misto and hitched up my gingerbread socks as we pulled into the parking lot at Target around 9 am.

Oh and a Cranberry Bliss Bar OMG

And…crickets. I swear a tumbleweed rolled through the parking lot.

Ok this is not my picture. It’s this guy’s. But it looked practically the same.

Where were the hoards of people? The crazy ladies with blue eyeliner, teased bangs and Snoopy Christmas sweatshirts with matching turtlenecks? As soon as we began our “doorbusting” at Target we figured out why: the sales were absolute flaming bags of crap.

Nothing Will Crush Nan’s Spirits

No $5 toasters. No $3 copies of The Christmas Story. Not even a lowly 10% off Christmas tree skirts.

We retreated to the car reluctantly, clutching our measly %40 off sweaters and dollar section items.

I would like to say that this trend did not carry over to our other Black Friday haunts, but sadly…it did. Black Friday was simply kicking our butts. Our cute, kinda round, but nonetheless charming butts.

We missed the $2.50 hand soaps at BBW by 10 minutes. 10 MINUTES.

Waaaaaaaaa!!

The sweater I wanted at the Gap was only available in XL.

So, we did what any good-hearted Amurican Black Friday enthusiasts would do in such a situation. We went to TJ Maxx where everyday is Black Friday! And I found this adorable Christmas decoration at Pier 1, which I might add was FULL PRICE. WTF Black Friday? wtf.

We then met “the boys” at the Sports Page to watch the Apple Cup and eat nachos. It helped a little. After we had our fill of cheese, grease and ranch dressing we headed to some antique/thrift stores to stare at other people’s crap. This is always a sure-fire way to cheer us Danielson gals up.

closed mouth smiles are the best smiles

We found a few treasures and hauled them home. Then we put up the Christmas tree and there was peace on earth. The evening was capped off by a viewing of the world’s most underrated Christmas movie: Holiday in Handcuffs.

This little gem stars Melissa Joan Hart or MJH to those who know her, and Mario Lopez or A.C Slater. The writing, the acting, the all-star cast #oscarbuzz. Then Megan, Amy, Bryan and I stayed up to late watching Marbles Harsgrove.

The rest of the weekend was spent attending Hanukkah parties, seeing old friends and gearing up for Monday Night Football. Next weekend we are getting our TREE and maybe having a tinsel fight. I don’t know.