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Friday, January 14, 2011

Hot nannies

While at the tennis asylum with Mrs. RS the other day after we were done playing tennis, I overheard a conversation that reinforced the notion that the more you learn about people and society the more you realize you don't know. Yes, I was at the tennis asylum and haven't been banned yet but that's a story for a different day but let's get back on topic: the conversation was about "hot nannies" and how certain members of select socio-economic groups compete with each other by comparing the hotness of their nannies. Now, in the spirit of full disclosure, my wife and I do not have a nanny to "help" take care of our children but there are some two career couples with families in my area that do employ nannies. Supposedly some people who are regulars at the tennis courts bring their nannies to mind their children (even though there is day care) while they exercise and to show off the nannies as a secondary competition.

None of the very few nannies that I've ever seen could be considered "hot." Perhaps it is my point of reference or perhaps it isn't something that I actively research, but most of the nannies that I've come across are decidedly "unhot." It was pointed out that it must be me because there are many examples of hot nannies with the most famous being the ex-Mrs. Tiger, Elin Nordegren (who either retired from modeling before she made the career move to become Jesper Parnevik's nanny or after she was making the big nanny bucks). While I'm not privy to her divorce settlement, I doubt Elin needs to model or nanny much any more.

Since the tennis league that I'm in is a couple's league, we tried, unsuccessfully to identify hot guy nannies. No one knew of any guy nannies, let alone hot guy nannies. Perhaps there is a glass ceiling for guy nannies that is unknown to those not in the biz. Don't be surprised if someone takes up this cause.

I keep thinking of a Mrs. Doubtfire look alike with some indeterminate accent when I visualize what a nanny would look like. I'm sure that this is because I spend too much time either at work, with my family, or doing this triathlon/training nonsense to be able to gain a true appreciation of a hot nanny contest but I had to wonder, since hotness is relative, how does one win? Then I took a more cynical look at it and tried to figure out who would win. Could it be the nanny? The guy who hires her? Does the guy even hire the nanny? Does the nanny agency? Could there be cheating? What about a hot nanny ringer?

My next door neighbor has a manny, and yes Emz that's exactly what we call him. He's a just out of college, brawny Iowa farm boy. I wouldn't rank him too high on the hotness scale though...OMG root canal infection? Say it isn't so!