Colbert Pushes for Inclusion in FOX/GOP Presidential Debate in Miami

MIAMI, FL (APE) – Campaign staffers are reporting that newly announced Republican Presidential Candidate Stephen Colbert has flown overnight to Miami Florida in an attempt to touch ground before other hopefuls Giuliani and McCain. Colbert will also be petitioning for inclusion in Sunday’s Fox News sponsored Republican presidential debate.

In a whirlwind sequence of events, Colbert announced his intention to seek the presidency this week, and is hoping to be included in the presidential primary of his home state of South Carolina.

A Colbert Campaign spokesperson described the atmosphere among staffers as “electrifying” as they scrambled to come up with position statements and official talking points.

“As for now, we have settled initially for a strategy best described as “Not Reagan Enough”, stated Colbert’s campaign manager. “We feel that all the other guys are weak in this regards, and it’s certainly fair game. Fred Thompson is the only one we’ve ever seen in a cowboy hat, and he was riding in a motorized chair at the time.”

Campaign staffers cited a bumpy start to the campaign thus far, stating that they were having to play catch up thanks to delays in receiving an expedited NRA lifetime membership card.

“We fully expect to be included as an equal in Sunday’s debate, however, or there will be hell to pay,” stated Colbert’s Manager.

Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.