Saturday, December 23, 2006

I got a phone call to say my father had passed away yesterday afternoon, after many tears and not being able to reach Damien I then got another phone call to say that he wasn't actually dead but in a drug-induced coma.

So many conflicting emotions, anger, sadness, confusion.

My uncle rang and confirmed the drug-induced coma, induced because of the intense pain Dad was in, it was only a matter of time, he suggested I ring the hospice and they could possibly put the phone up to his ear so I could tell him of my pregnancy, the fact that I hadn't yet told him had devastated me.

I rang the hospice and my cousin held the phone up to his ear, it was so very hard, but I told him of my pregnancy, that I loved him, and said goodbye.

I got a lot of closure from that phone call. I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to talk to him, even though he couldn't answer, I heard his breathing change and I *know* he heard me.

I got a phone call from my uncle and Dad passed away tonight. He was in a bit of pain near the end so I *know* that he is so much better off now, and is at peace.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Trip to NZ was ok, didn't get to spend as much time with Dad as i wanted, Lauren didnt cope well with it all, the people coming & going, change etc she was a brat, I was exhausted but I did get to spend time with Dad :)

He improved so much over the time that we were there, and from speaking to him since he sounds a lot stronger which is great because it means he can enjoy the time he has left, he is a fighter so maybe he will stick around for a while to torment us ;)

We are trying to conceive #2 atm, the first three nights in NZ lauren had HEAPS of boob and I know that distrupted my cycle, so I was feeling positive until my cycle ended up with a luteal phase of only 7 days *sigh*, I am cutting Lauren back on the boob and hoping this cycle is more fruitful.

I am getting one of these *pets* 20inch iMac *drools*Going to get it on the myer card in teh new year, maybe get it cheaper in any post xmas sales.Cannot believe how little time there is left to xmas *panics*

Bought a few things at the oxfam store yesterday, i LOVE that store, could spend a fortune.Got this necklace, I love her, so does Lauren :) Also got a wallet and a couple of xmas gifts.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Sorry it has been so long, living in a fog atm, and trying to recover from camping.Not up to a big post about the camping trip, but it wasnt what I had hoped :(

So my Dad only has months, maybe up to a year to live. :( :( :(Lauren, Mum & I fly over tomorrow morning going to make the most of the time we spend with him.

Its just so unfair. I had a big bawl up at camping when I heard the news, I think I was in a bit of shock too, like I hadn't let myself believe it was all true until I heard those words. I am so thankful I was surrounded by friends.

I am sick with a cold atm which triples the ickyness of everything.Will update more when I get back.xxxx

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Mum, Lauren & I are booked to fly over to see dad on Nov17th -25th.A group of my friends, wonderful wonderful ladies that they are got together and raised over $600 ot help me fly over to see my dad :( *cries* I am just so in awe of them, so very lucky to have them in my life.

I rang Dad today, he sounded awful, really drugged up on the morphine. *sigh*

I am not letting myself worry or get anxious though as it was really makin gme feel sick, and not helping either of us. Will find out more after the 7th (when he has appt with encology team)

Next week (monday - saturday)I am going camping with another great group of women & kids, really looking forward to it :D

Sunday, October 22, 2006

My Dad only has one kidney, lost one to cancer when he was 18. He has been having problems for the last year and just yesterday has been diagnosed with secondary cancer of the remaining kidney.

They don't know where the primary cancer is. I only found out this afternoon when my brother rang me. It isnt sounding very good, but I am trying ot think positive, as is Dad. They are unsure of what course of action they are going to take from now, so its bascially a waiting game.

So if you could please spare a thought or a prayer for my dad it would be really appreciated

ETA: Its actually his liver that the secondary cancer is in, have recently found out that tha tis bad, I didnt want to accept how bad it is, yk, I . .just dont know what to think.

Friday, September 29, 2006

Of late Lauren has been watchign TOO much tv, made me feel sick. So it has stopped.She is allowed to watch two movies, or two blocks of TV, one in the morning one in the afternoon.

I feel so much better for it, I'm getting more housework done and she is playing with her toys/books etc so much more. I just hope I can keep it up.

She is asking for tV but I am managing to distract herFor example just now she said "Watch blues clues?" I said no not until this afternoon, so straight away she asked for Booby so im guesing booby is something that she 'does' iykwim, but now she is distracted with a torch and has forgotten about both booby & blues clues.

I have cleaned up kitchen & dining room today and feel so good for it, have also just put al lthe beans back into her beanbag, had to wash the cover as it was stinky, putting beans back into a beanbag is a hell 0f a lot easier than taking them out *lol*

Ok a photo and maybe some LOs to follow, not right now as Lauren is hanging off the desk.

Friday, September 22, 2006

So its friday again, Damien has a flex day on monday .. woot! So hopefully we can have a nice family day :) (although just realised school holidays has started by then too .. ick!)

So it looks like we will be moving early January. So I have a few months to get all packed up thank goodness, also means we will be here for xmas, surrounded by boxes, but here ;)

Lauren looked like she was going to get a doozy of a cold, she had a fever for a couple of days and a snotty sounding nose, she still has a snotty sounding nose, but heres hoping it doesn't develop, lots of booby milk, fluids and rest.

I am on a mission to get photos printed, I haven't had photos printed since our trip to NZ last christmas, and for like months before that. So I have been through January of this year and edited and got it printed. Now on to february, I am hoping to get this year done, and then go back and do last year, and the year before that .. *groans* It will be nice to have the photos where we can actually enjoy looking through them though, at the moment they are all on the PC and well barely get looked at!

I also need to get frames for the photos we had taken, I went to Target cause they have 20% off frames, but just seems like a lot of money still :( Wish I could find some decent frames for like super cheap. Maybe just get some el cheapo ones and when we get super rich, buy some nice ones.

Lauren's latest 'thing' has been "I like.." or "Lauren likes..", we made gingerbread men at the beginning of the week, she was eating one yesterday, ate his head/legs/arms/icing and then asked for another, I said to her "You only want the icing don't you?" she grinned and said "I like icing" lol! So yesterday heard lots of "I like boobies" "I love mummy I love Nana I love poohbear I love.." etc etc

She is just so aware of everything, its frightening how clever she is.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Friday, September 15, 2006

Those who have Beta accounts cannot comment on posts of those who don't SUCKS ROYALLYSo Kristie, I sent big *big hugs* and lots of strength.

In other breaking news, looks like we won't be moving up the coast till early next year, and the plans have apparently changed (the house plans) ILs are coming down today to 'discuss' it. Love how they just ring the night before and say "we are coming down tomorrow, is that ok?" I mean it is ok, but what if it wasn't? Would I be made to feel guilty??? I felt like saying "Well no actually, Lauren & I will be out all day but feel free to come in and make tea"

STrugglign at teh moment with my stupid hormonal mood swings, and Laurens .. testing of the boundaries, I am really finding it hard to deal with, does anyone have any suggestions of things I can read to help me help her through this? My initial response to everything seems to be frustration, anger, raised voice and its helping no one.

But to finish off the post with some sunshine &amp;amp; light ;)"Don't photo me!"

Friday, September 01, 2006

Monday, August 28, 2006

I have had soo much offline time lately!! Spent a lovely 4 days up the coast :)Have also gotten back into reading, Stacey lent me The Red Tent I couldn't put it down, spent some lovely hours reading it, really enjoyed it. Up the coast I borrowed White Gardenia from my MIL, another book I am motoring though, I am really enjoying laying on teh lounge and reading, it helps my mind wind down, and it also means spending more time in Laurens company, I can easily put down the book and give my girl cuddles, I used to read .. a LOT, all the time before I got so hooked up with this computer, so I am enjoying taking some time out. Can anyone give me a list of recommended reads, or a link to a blog or website that has that sort of thing? I like reading pretty much anything! (maybe only fiction at the moment though, an enjoying that escape)

But another OMG moment ... I scrapped!!! Yes I did, first time in what feels like forever!!!Credit: DebF - SerendipitousDays avail @ http://www.pickleberrypop.com- Swirly corner doodle recolouredFont: Snowshow

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

My BIL & his wife are up from Melbourne at the moment, staying with my ILs.Lauren & I are heading up the coast today to spend some time with them all, Damien is joining us on thursday night.

Will be nice, SIL adores Lauren so it will be great for them to have a fair bit of time to play and spend time :) and of course my ILs, although once we move in .. lots of time .. :S

I should get the chance to have a break also as there will be 2 more people to entertain lauren (or be entertained *by* Lauren)

Lots to do this morning, got to pack .. duh .. wash the nappies .. oh shit have to do that now..

Not much else happening in the world of Dee, hoping for a lovely 4 days :) The weather gods should be smiling on us, its been gorgeous lately. Will probably take Lauren to the beach tomorrow morning :)

Monday, August 21, 2006

So here I sit on another monday morning!Had apretty full on weekend, well no not really .. but ..Went out to a big Lifeline store with mum on saturday, bought a couple of toys for Lauren, books for Damien .. nada for me *rolls eyes* isn't it the way!

On Sunday Lauren & I drove down to visit Stacey, Jake & Kira :D Was great to see them again :)Saw Katanya & Felix as well, the kidlets had so much fun playing together :DGot some super cute photos, I will post one up here ;)TOday I am hoping to get out to Ikea to get the pots & pans for Lauren's birthday, its creeping up! I also need to head out and get the invites printed so I can send them! Although everyone who is coming knows about it ;)

Soon my coffee will be finished *sigh* and I need to go and do the dishes .. joy ..

Here is some cuteness to sweeten your day :D

Storyboard by Lanne @ onceuponastoryboard.typepad.com "Snow White and the Seven Storyboards" set

Friday, August 18, 2006

Im such a slack blogger.I got sick of my pretty blog too, so went for something basic lol

Gee what is happening with us.Madness and mayhemNah its all pretty good actually :)Lauren is becoming more and more toilet aware, spends all day in undies/pants, nappy for nap & nighttime. Tells us when she wants to wee/poo off we race to potty or toilet whichever is closer.

Starting to get stuck into the packing, only a month or so till we are going to be moving the bulk of our stuff into storage at Damien's grans house. Then early october we will move us and the rest up. SCARY, but also looking forward to a change :) Being near the beach etc Maybe Barb can teach me how to sew, I might pay more attention to her than my own mother lol

I have so much crap to sort through, its nuts!!

I have been a bad picklehead too, have lots the oomph for scrapping atm, hoping it comes back really soon!!

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Firstly, Damien & I went and saw Pirates of the Caribbean -Dead Man's Chest today .. LOVED it!! Was so much fun :D :D

Lauren had a shower by herself tonight hehe, well Damien leaned in an washed her.She asked me for a shower, and I didnt feel like getting in with her, so she had a ball in there by herself, she has only had one shower in the last year or so, with Damien last week.She kicked & screamed when it was time to get out though ;)All storyboard templates by Lanne @ http://onceuponastoryboard.typepad.com/Fonts: Snowshoe & Avante

Monday, July 10, 2006

We had a good weekend :) On saturday afternoon we went out ot the local botanical gardens they had an orchestra performing from 2-3, it was so nice to get out in the fresh air & sunshine, and listen to (mostly) good music :) Lauren stayed with us for maybe 15min listening, and then had enough, so we tag-teamed in chasing after her, she had a grand time walking around the gardens :) We need to do things like that more often, Damien was chuffed cause they played startrek & starwars music hehe

Didnt get any photos as batteries were flat, I need to get some more spares.

Got a heap of housework done on sunday as again the ILs were coming down on their way to the GC. So it looks like we will need to be out of here beginning -mid october. So best start packing!!Might start sorting that spare room out first, so much crap in those cupboards, we have to decide what we are going to take up the coast with us, and what we are going to put into storage.

Looks like we will only have room for one computer up the coast, which will mean I will have limited time on it, which might actually be a good thing, might get some study and stuff done.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Does my housework get so out of hand?My list for today which I WILL finish!!!!WOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! I will mop when Miss L goes to sleep, and she *will* go to sleep, she really needs it when she is sick, so might have to resort to taking her for a drive. Yayayayayay, it feels so good to get that stuff done, the house really needs a DEEP clean, but heck its being knocked down in 3 months whats the point ;)

Tidy study, put away clean laundry on floor

Clean bathroomsJust a surface clean

Tidy Laurens room, put away clean nappies on the floor,change the sheets on her bed

Tidy bedroom, change the sheets on our bedEven hung doona & blanket on line to air in sunshine

Tidy kitchen, do dishes,pick up the STUFF that is all over the floor

Tidy dining room, pick up the STUFF all over the floor, make it so you can actually see the dining table

Tidy lounge room .. again pick up the STUFF all over the floor

Vacumn all carpets & tiles

Mop all tiles

There! That should be achievable .. right?? First thing I need to do it get off this soulsucker!

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Lauren has a cold and is mostly miserable, cranky, whingy, clingy.I am comign down with it & I have PMT .. not a good combo.So here is something happy :) Credit: DDE Shabby Shack Mega Kit (love it!) for everythign except the overlay & plan background.Sanded overlay by Christine SmithFont: Pea AlesaQuote from Peppermint Creative "I never knew how much love my heart could hold until someone called me "mummy" (changed from the american "mommy" )

Sunday, July 02, 2006

I did everything on the list in the previous post, ILs came down yesterday, hence the list ;)

Ok brieflyWe live in this house owned by ILs, we rent from them really cheaply. Its a fairly old house with some structural problems. They are going to demolish it and build a new house on the LOT for us to live in, with an area for them to live in (with bathroom, kitchenette etc) as FIL works in brisbane a fair bit, and at the moment it commuting to & From the Sunshine Coast every day.THis is all good, very excited about new house.. not so excited about moving in with them for 7+ months .. it will be very helpful in saving money etc etc, but eeek!I think we need to give it at least 3 months, if we really hate it, we will find somewher cheap to rent.

Oh and this is all happening in October, so I am going to have to start sorting & packing soon as I have a lot of crap hehe

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Well here it is.FINALLY finished watching LOST, I am now all caught up with the US. End of season two .. all I will say is *BRAIN IMPLODES* .. just when you thought it couldn't f*&@ with your mind any further ... look what happpens!

Nappy changes are such a malarky that I have decided to start putting her in undies, and really encouraging potty/toilet use. I hadn't even said anything to her about it, but this morning after I took off her night nappy she asked for undies! Im trying to explain to her that if she wears undies she needs to try and use the potty/toilet for wees. We'll see how that goes.

Last week ( have been slack this week) I started doing a 30min yoga routine every day, was wonderful, have to not be slack and do it again today.Have an appt with my ortho-bionomy/massage lady today, REALLY looking forward to it, ah 45min of bliss hehe

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Monday, June 19, 2006

So Lauren just did a proper jump for the first time!! :DBoth feet off the ground at once. SHe has been doing almost jumps for a while, but this was a proper one .. YAY LAUREN!! :D :D

Just had our last day of swimming for the term, she goes up to the next class next term. The one where I sit on the sidelines, bit nervous about it to be honest hehe, at least it may mean I can get some good photos :)

So Damien didnt come to bed till after 3am, and slept in till 10.30. He was playing WoW till 2ish, and then watched first half of soccer, so I am going to go out and get eyebrows waxed this afternoon, have a few hours to myself. Looking forward to it. :)