Tuesday, April 13, 2010

I have been told by a number of people that I should write a book. I have a few ideas & I am definitely going to get serious about it at some point, but I'm pretty sure this past weekend has stepped up my game a bit. I have 2 very separate ideas & one is a children's book. The title? "The Adventures of Texas Willie: Big Excitement Based on the True Stories of a Little Turtle". It's a working title, but you get the idea.

This past weekend, the turtle wrote his own story: "Texas Willie's Great Escape". On Saturday morning I woke up & my turtle was not in his tank. Since he had been living in this tank for quite some time, I thought it was physically impossible for him to get out. So I looked around the apartment & couldn't find him but I knew he had to be somewhere around so I didn't really worry too much. I put food around & figured he would be sitting by one of them when I woke up. He was not.

Day 2 was a bit of a different story. This is when I turned crazy. I came up with several theories about what happened to him. Since I hadn't found him after searching every crook & crevice of my apartment, my theories made more & more sense to me. My main theory was this: I lock my door out of habit when I come home. Friday I was cooking & the smoke alarm went off so I shut it off. I got in the shower & after I got out, a little while later I noticed the door was unlocked. I didn't think much of it. That was until my turtle went missing for 2 days. The theory developed into somebody coming into my apartment while I was in the shower & stealing my turtle out of his tank. They took nothing else, only Texas Willie. I knew it sounded ridiculous at the time, but I rationalized it enough in my head that it was a credible idea to me. My mother was no better because she agreed with me that this could be true instead of telling me I was a reTard. I searched some more, flipped the couch a few times, flipped the chair, shook out every one of my shoes & then I did it all again. I went to bed crying & slightly overdramatic.

If you thought Day 2 sounded bad, you ain't seen nothing yet. I awoke Day 3 & before even brushing my teeth, I searched. Then I watched 90210 & called my landlord. I proceeded to tell her my theory that someone broke in & stole my turtle & she appeased my insanity by telling me she would have someone change my locks. I took out the paper to start making "Missing Turtle" posters but decided I would give 1 more good look around for the 10 zillionth time first. I flipped over my couch again & decided I should slice open the bottom to see if he was somehow inside the couch. As I was about to do this, I heard a bumping kind of noise. So I checked out the kitchen again but to no avail & figured it was something across the hall. As I was slicing & dicing open my couch, I heard it again. It sounded as if it was coming from inside my refrigerator so I opened it up & looked in the bottom drawer. It was at that point that I saw a space underneath the fridge that I hadn't noticed before. So I got out my flashlight & shined it underneath & TADA!!!! There was his little turtle shell lodged underneath the fridge all the way towards the back. How he got himself back there, I will never know. I didn't know if he would still be alive so I poked him with a curtain rod & I saw his leg move! I cried I was so happy. Then I had to introduce myself to my neighbor by asking him if he could help me, because my turtle was stuck under the refrigerator. So he & his wife came & helped pick up the fridge & we got him out. So Texas Willie is now back in his tank safe & sound & I have returned to being a sane human being (or as much as is possible for me.) I also have Chapter 4 of my children's book all ready to go.