NEVER SAY THIS TO YOUR MAN - By Davin Rosenblatt

I was doing a comedy show on Valentine’s Day. Obviously it is a big night for couples to come to a comedy show. Laughter brings people together. What could possibly go wrong?

There was a couple during the show to my right. He was an African American man. I think she may have been African American but I don’t know. She was loving me. At one point she liked a joke so much she got up from her seat and ran around the table. I don’t think a joke can land any better than that. He was one of those quietly enjoying it types. He is not going to give you the big laughs but he’ll give you a half smile and nod. One of those too cool to laugh types. Not a comedian’s favorite audience member as we need to keep checking in on them to read them. I was messing with him and he was taking it in stride. Nothing too harsh at all. They were sitting with her brother and his wife.

I finished up my set and the other comedian Patty took the stage. I was sitting in the back of the room. Patty was talking to this couple. I don’t know what Patty said but the woman yelled out loudly to her man so everybody could hear it, “I am going to sleep with all of your friends!” Good gawd no! Don’t say that. You have just embarrassed your man in front of everybody, put doubt in his head about your relationship, and may have opened up wounds. How is that funny? How does that end well? He was pissed and he told her to go to the back of the room where she actually did spend the rest of the show. Still loving every minute of the night. I did not see his reaction. Patty was taken aback and said she is going to the other side of the stage now. That is an awkward place for a comedian. The last thing we want is a domestic fight in the middle of our show…on Valentine’s Day. Patty carried on and had a great show.

We were discussing it at the end of the show and she said she was stunned and couldn’t say anything. I said the only possible thing to say would be if you wanted to take up for the man (the injured party in this dispute) and say that’s ok, he’s been sleeping with your friends for years. Patty liked that. Who knows how that would have played out? After the show the lady came up to me and gave me a big hug and said we made her Valentine’s Day. Her man left a bit later and said he had fun. They did not leave the restaurant together. At the end of the night Patty and I put on a great show and the audience loved it. However, where does that relationship go? How is that car ride home? How does that guy let that go? So ladies sure be a spitfire if that is your nature. Don’t take shit. But for the love of god don’t tell your man that you are going to sleep with all of his friends in a room full of people.