Nostalgic nerds were pissed the Season 26 premiere of The Simpsons did not live up to meager expectations. Promos had a major bomb shell to be dropped in that one of the show’s characters was going to die. This flew in the face of public perception that all the characters and the entire show were already dead. Twitter nerds flipped out when the character turned out to be Krusty the Clown’s dad, who you probably don’t remember from the show when you used to watch it while doing your math homework before you had hair on your balls. Diehard fans were apparently hoping one of the show’s main characters would be killed off, because that’s what you want on a show you have an unhealthy obsession with if you are kind of a psycho. Typical reactions were pretty much unanimously short and to the point:

“The new Simpsons episode was a major disappointment. Krusty’s dad! Really? Overhyped is an understatement…”

It seems highly possible The Simpsons is running out of gimmicks. Once you’re on your way out it’s typical to kick back, throw some shit at the wall, and see what sticks. Especially when your writers’ room is heated by a bonfire of hundred dollar bills. Its a sad thing to see another childhood staple slowly run out of steam along with the two Cory’s and all the dead wrestlers you used to love. A few billion dollars and you hit a creative Berlin Wall around your 9,000th episode. They had a very good run. RIP.

Next year I’ll get to double the amount of not watching Seth MacFarlane because he’s recorded a guest spot for an episode of ‘the Simpsons’, playing a character that Marge meets online. They arrange to meet IRL; he thinks they’re gonna do it, she thinks they’re gonna bake cupcakes (wah wah). All they needed was Tina Fey to do a voice and they could have titled it, “Things I Can’t Believe Are Still On TV”.

Not only is Oregon beautiful, but they have a lot of other cool shit too, like Nike, college footballs hottest cheerleaders and coolest helmets, kick ass weed, um, the I-5 killer (I ran out of things to name), but on top of all that, now ‘the Simpsons’ creator Matt Groening tells Smithsonian Magazine that it’s the official home of Homer Simpson too.

SMITHSONIAN: OK, why do the Simpsons live in a town called Springfield? Isn’t that a little generic?GROENING: Springfield was named after Springfield, Oregon. The only reason is that when I was a kid, the TV show “Father Knows Best” took place in the town of Springfield, and I was thrilled because I imagined that it was the town next to Portland, my hometown. When I grew up, I realized it was just a fictitious name. I also figured out that Springfield was one of the most common names for a city in the U.S. In anticipation of the success of the show, I thought, “This will be cool; everyone will think it’s their Springfield.” And they do.

Keep in mind that this means it’s also the home of Shelbyville, which was founded as a haven for people who wanted to have sex with their cousins, so don’t get too full of yourself, Oregon. You perverts are on a short leash.

Fox has made 1 billion dollars off the Simpsons during it’s 23 year run, but this season will be the last unless the cast agrees to a massive pay cut by tomorrow. Re-read that part about Fox making a billion dollars and you’ll get an idea about how excited they are about that idea.

Fox wants “The Simpsons” for one more season at most — and only if it can pay 25 to 30 percent less for it, an executive close to the show told TheWrap. The disclosure comes as producers have agreed to salary cuts to keep the show going, and the show’s six voice actors have been asked to decide by Friday whether they will agree to have their payment cut almost in half.
TheWrap reported Wednesday that, as ammunition in their salary dispute, the actors have commissioned a study estimating the show has made $1 billion in profits over its 23-season run. The study projected that the studio will eventually make about $2.9 billion from the show.

They should probably agree to the cut because that show has sucked for at least 15 years. If I were Fox I would threaten to just re-air the fist seven seasons in order. I’d explain how those would be way better and wouldn’t cost a dime. And if that didn’t work I’d tell them the cookies they just ate were poisoned.

LADY GAGA – will play herself on ‘The Simpsons’, “to cheer up a dejected Lisa through the power of speech, song, and a flash mob.” The message being: if you’re feeling low, try annoying the hell out of people. (ew)

WILL SMITH AND JADA PINKETT – were reportedly broken up, but this morning Wills son Trey tweeted that it wasn’t true, and now they’ve issued a statement saying, “Although we are reluctant to respond to these types of press reports, the rumors circulating about our relationship are completely false. We are still together, and our marriage is intact.” Oohh. “Intact”. What a romantic word. I guess things really are going great. “My wife is very suitable”, Will went on to explain. (twitter, access hollywood)

MEGAN FOX – confirmed that she’s having the tattoo on her forearm of Marilyn Monroe removed, saying, “She was a negative person, she was disturbed, bipolar. I do not want to attract this kind of negative energy in my life.” Oh relax Megan. It’s not Ed Gein for Christs sake. (us)

BEN AFFLECK AND JENNIFER GARNER – are expecting their third child to go along with their daughters Violet, 5, and Seraphina, 2. No word yet on if its a boy or a girl, or what stripper/wish granting cartoon mouse they’ll name them after. (people)

The world's largest convenience store chain may get a movie make-over if all goes as planned, as 20 Century Fox is in talks with 7-Eleven to make over 11 of their stores so that they look like the Kwik-E-Mart. The Kwik-E-Mart, of course, is the convenience store that appears in almost every episode of the Simpson’s and this is all part of the promotion push for the Simpson’s Movie, which comes out July 27. So how much would you pay for a knife like this, but wait there’s more! The source says:

Customers also will be able to buy products inspired by the nearly two-decades-old show, including KrustyO's cereal, Buzz Cola and iced Squishees (the cup says Squishee, but the contents will be Slurpee). The chain also will use pictures of Simpsons characters to promote 7-Eleven's line of fresh foods, such as placing the face of Homer and his classic "Mmmm . . . sandwich" quip on sandwich wrappers.

I've never been hungry enough to sample any of 7-Elevens line of "fresh foods" and no amount of cartoon comradery will make me do otherwise, but I would trek whatever distance was necessary to go to a Kwik-E-Mart. I would also watch two hot chicks make out, but then I'm pretty open minded.