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Have you ever had a date where at the end, you walk away feeling like you’re hungover, saying, “What the heck happened?” Yeah … that’s sort of what happened on my date Monday night with the Banker …

Before I get into this date, I did want to say that I did indeed go speed dating and I will post about that this week!

So. The Banker.

Basically, the Banker had asked me to meet him at a restaurant in a well-known area at 6:30. I could do that, I told him, but I would be coming straight from work so I might be a bit late. He was okay with this and when walking into the restaurant, I texted him to let him know. He told me he was over at that bar with a Guinness. “You can’t miss me,” he texted. Well, I spotted him and thankfully, he was indeed as his pictures had revealed. At least 6’3”, maybe 6’4,” he was pretty cute. He had sandy brown hair, broad shoulders, good body, not too big and definitely not too little. He had this boyish look to him. The best way I can think to describe it is, think of Shaggy from Scooby Doo, at age 24 with no facial hair and cute and modern. So was the Banker.

Immediately I felt comfortable with him and he launched straightaway into a story. I was slightly charmed. However, the first awkward moment of the night was when the bartender came to get my order. I just asked for a glass of water with lemon because I’m on pain medicine for a back injury. He was shocked at this and said, “Surely you’ll get something?”

Apparently, and this was a BIG mix-up on my part, I had misunderstood. When he had asked me to meet him at the restaurant, he had apparently meant just to drink. So …. I explained I really couldn’t have that much alcohol but to salvage the situation, I ordered a glass of wine to sip.

The other bad news was I had skipped lunch to save calories for dinner and I was not mixing drugs and alcohol on an empty stomach … and I had a 30 minute drive home. So I tried to be cautious, but still enjoy the date. I barely sipped.

I enjoyed the Banker’s stories, but it started to feel like he wasn’t working to seek out our chemistry as much as he wanted to talk. And I like talkers. But after a while it started to feel like he was talking AT me instead of WITH me. He did ask me a few questions about myself … but I did start to feel like for the most part I was on the receiving end. The chemistry component wasn’t necessarily lacking … just … neglected. I didn’t really get the feeling that he was as much concerned about flirting with me as he just wanted to talk to somebody.

His family sounded amazing and with three sisters, the youngest two are blonde twins who could basically be Jessica and Elizabeth from Sweet Valley Twins, and his parents sound sweet. He grew up in a town like mine, with friends like mine, is Catholic like me, he had a similar way of storytelling and just seemed nice. So I stared at him and really tried to figure out, could I marry this person, could I date this person, would it be good to make out with this person? Because trust me, I had A LOT of time to think about this. And I kind of came to the conclusion that he was what I had been asking for. He was certainly ticking a lot of the boxes …

Then a man came over and asked us if we would like to participate in the trivia night about to start up. The Banker immediately said no and asked if I would like to go somewhere else to get away from the soon to be noisy restaurant. I agreed, wondering without much hope if we would be getting dinner.

We went to another restaurant and when the bartender asked if we needed dinner menus, the Banker assured her we wouldn’t be having dinner. Great. I order another glass of wine having not even sipped a third of my first one at the other restaurant.

It’s not really the fact that we didn’t get dinner (although I was starting to feel a bit sick from the alcohol medicine mix and empty stomach) but he didn’t ask, didn’t check with me. It was like with the guy asking about trivia. He just went ahead and made all those decisions without consulting me. Which made me feel … off put slightly. He did know I was coming straight from work and while he couldn’t know I skipped lunch, he did have to realize it was 9:00 p.m. …

That being said, I could easily have piped up and said I was hungry and paid for it myself … but sadly I just didn’t feel like wondering the night if he would judge me and make me feel fat. So as much as some people might disagree, I just tried to move with it and get through it.

At this new restaurant, more of the same talking difficulties … with me getting a few words in here and there. He did at some points seem to remember he was on a date, but it was such a weird experience. It was almost like I could have been his grandmother. …

Along the way he made two references that made me stop for a minute like, wait, what??

1.) When mentioning his apartment, he said, “It’s hard to describe, but you’ll be seeing it soon anyway.”

Really?? I found this strange. Yeah he never asked me back to his apartment … but still …

2.) When talking about his friends he said, “Well, but when you talk to them you’ll understand.”

Right. Again with the assumptions … it sounded like in a casual way he was already incorporating me into his life and this was odd considering the lack of flirtation or perceived interest I was getting from him.

We ended the date with a hug and he mentioned he had a fantastic time and wanted to set something up again. I wasn’t sure I would hear from him again, but 12 minutes later, I got a text from him saying, “Hey Andie, had a wonderful time tonight! Let me know how your week and weekend go, I’d love to see you again! Drive safe!”

Yes, he really takes time to text punctuation lol … He also mentioned the illustrious “love” word.

Still feeling sickly I drove myself to the nearest TGI Fridays where my favorite bartenders work. Seated at the bar I ordered dinner by myself and tried to sort out what I was feeling, what I should do.

I told him that I had just come from a date and briefly explained as best I could how it went and said I was trying to figure out whether or not to go out with him again.

“Well did you have fun?” Alec asked. “I don’t really know. That’s what I’m trying to figure out,” I told him, to which he responded, “If you don’t know then you didn’t have fun.”

I told Alec he was wise beyond his years … but in the end I set up another date with the Banker for next Monday. He specifically mentioned dinner lol so we’ll see.

We texted briefly the morning after but nothing since. So I’m really confused … he seems to adhere to Katy Perry’s boyfriend’s policy and run hot and cold.

He acted during the date like he considered me part of his life (which was mildly concerning) but then doesn’t talk to me for almost two days? So I’ve started to chat with new prospects and will keep tabs on the Banker situation.

One last bit, I called my co-worker right before my date to tell her it indeed did only take me seven minutes to drive there (and she’s not too keen on my meeting people from the internet) and I received this series of text messages from her throughout the duration of my date [I saw them afterward].

6:57 ARE YOU OKAY?

6:57 DO YOU NEED A BACKUP NINJA

6:57 I won’t lie, I’ve had far too much Chinese food to be ninja-like

6:58 But I will drive to your rescue

6:58 And make ninja sounds

6:58 WHY DID YOU CALL ME

6:58 ARE YOU OKAY

7:07 I bet you called to tell me it took you seven minutes to get to the restaurant

7:07 Which would be LIES

7:07 Are you sure you’re not secretly meeting [hot preppy co-worker]?

7:08 God what if you’re in this guys trunk right now

7:08 And I’m being a lazy jerk talking about ninjas and [hot preppy co-worker]?

7:08 I SHOULD BE SAVING YOU

So, stay tuned for when the saga continues …. The Banker, Part II … will it be a startling conclusion? Or a disappointing cliffhanger? I’m really not sure at this point so we’ll all have to wait and see.

So, when last we left off, Coach Taylor had disappeared, Tall Paul was on the missing hikers bulletin, and I was sort of considering picking things up with the Bartender. It’s only fitting to start with the most shocking of all.

TALL PAUL IS ALIVE!

That’s correct folks, Tall Paul is indeed alive and survived his mountain camping excursion. I received a messaged from him on Thursday morning (the first activity on his account since Friday), saying “Well that ended up taking longer than expected.”

Tall Paul, it appears, really was still away in the mountains, and though not eaten by a bear, it appears his extreme date with nature ran over (whether by getting lost or his own decision we may never truly know).

Even more surprising is the fact that he messaged me back. So we will see how things develop with Tall Paul. I just find it amazing the dead-eyed survivor made it back safe and sound … and wasn’t just blowing me off.

It’s the little things … 🙂

Now, on to the next order of business … my unfortunate dealings with Coach Taylor. Just like that wild dog that doesn’t seem to want to stay but keeps showing up for treats from time to time, Coach Taylor has once again returned.

It all started on Thursday when my roommate posted a picture of us getting ready to go out drinking. Within three seconds, she calls out from the bathroom to ask me what Coach Taylor’s name was again …. Because he had liked the photo within three seconds. Therefore, I wasn’t entirely surprised that moments later I receive a text from him for the first time in a week.

Of course NOT being a glutton for punishment, I didn’t text him back. I know instinctively that there’s just something about this wild canine that would not make a good companion.

Seven shots later we were texting. And he was asking me if he had mentioned how pretty I was, to which I responded (I’m afraid with alcoholic cattiness) ‘you did cover that.’ He also mentioned that I was delicious. Notreally sure how he would know that considering we have most certainly never made out …

But in the end, all of this led to last night’s conversation which I am transcribing for you. I’m not sure there’s any other way to convey this….

Him: So can i tell you something without you being offended … I feel like I need to tell you … You were in my dream the other night …

Me: Haha … um … okay?

Him: I had a sex dream … I’m sorry if this offends you

Me: Haha had to get that off your chest and confess? These things happen ..

Him: Yes … lol ok i thought you were gonna get mad …

Me: I have amazing zen

Him: Yeah I agree, can see that for sure!

Me: That being said of course, I might have shown concern if you had said ‘Hey I had a dream about that movie Saw … and you were in it … and I was jigsaw’

Him: Lol I’ve never seen those movies and I don’t want to

Me: I’m saying that would have been more concerning …

Him: Lol yeah … But I saw 50 shades of grey and then dreamed about you instead

Me: I have seen that one …

Him: Well it wasn’t anything crazy like that

Me: ….

I think he was partially wondering if I would think he was a creep or if I would be turned on and because of my neutral response he has seemed confused ever since. I do feel slightly creeped out, and slightly flattered. This is the first time someone has felt the need to confess for having lustful thoughts about me …

So I don’t know what to think about Coach Taylor. Except, just like that wild dog … I don’t think that I could ever really trust him to stay….

So Rich Guy and the Paramedic. Normally I wouldn’t label anyone as Rich Guy, but—he did advertise himself in this way. That was his highlighted feature! I liked Rich Guy, but I haven’t heard back from him in a few days and I have a feeling that fish is dead in the water. The Paramedic on the other hand? That’s one’s a strong marine creature.

He is definitely a strange fish though. I messaged him first, interested in his profession. I mean … come on, nothing’s hotter than saving lives in a uniform! But he may be one of those fish who are discovered living in the depths of the ocean from a dark dark place that light never touches. Basically … he’s uncharted territory. Super cute, from the same state as me, then moved out west and just moved back here this week. He’s a paramedic on the side and works for hospital administration too. He’s cute Italian. Dark preppy cut hair, strong roman face, athletic build SUPPOSEDLY six foot. So from the photos if they can be trusted, he’s quite attractive.

The one good thing about my profile is my photos pull no punches. I’m not a great beauty although I like my hair and think I have fairly interesting features, though not classically pretty. Average build, I’m slightly taller, but again, my photos show this too when I’m standing with my friends. So hopefully anyone I meet won’t be expecting Kate Moss or Olivia Wilde.

However, there’s no guarantee he’ll look like HIS photos—which I try to keep in mind. He’s also an older brother to three sisters, which I find adorable. Having always wanted an older brother—it’s been a really attractive quality for me in guys. It’s just that cute thing … idk idk.

I digress from the real issue. He writes novels. No, not actual books, but his messages to me are never less than 1,000 words. Anyone who has done online dating knows getting long messages are usually like pulling teeth! So it’s kind of weird that he sends such long personal e-mails. I’m not sure what this means…

Always the pessimist, I’m slightly concerned that this rare creature may have developed this trait as a protective measure, via Darwin and survival of the fittest. Maybe the long letters are to make up for something else—something I can’t see in the dark.

Or maybe he’s just really chatty and this signifies nothing except that I have finally met someone who can talk as much as me!

He even sent me a message last night that said he was still getting settled so he would send me a proper message today. Proper message, aka, a super long essay.

I don’t mind really, I enjoy leaning a lot in those e-mails and he’s from match.com, which signifies he’s maybe looking for more than just a hookup—which would be nice lol.

So I’m definitely looking for some opinions on this. Like I said, I wasn’t born yesterday into online dating and I can appreciate a guy who talks and tells stories, but I just have literally never met someone who has SO MUCH to say! It’s a mystery for now.

In other news, my friends wanted to set me up on a date with a guy two hours away. He was blonde they told me and it would be great. However, did some investigation and yeah, he is sooo tiny and looks young. Like illegal age young. Also it turns out, he used to have a gigantic CRUSH on my friend setting me up. Not really a fan of pushed together leftovers. So as lovely as the intent was behind the setup, I had to decline that one. I may be searching, but I don’t consider myself desperate …. yet lol.

I watch Pompeii last night and we had series of severe thunderstorms. A lightning strike burnt down a house on the east side of the city. (I’m southeast!) And I have to say nothing is quite so intense as watching a volcano erupt during a severe lightning storm. It really drove home the surround sound experience!!

So Paramedic wants to meet and after I get this “proper” e-mail and I think I’m going to say okay.

There wasn’t much to this e-mail so I thought I would also share a story from my college years.

One of my roommates, we’ll call her Jenny dated a guy … we’ll call him Mike. Mike was a little … well we suspect he took cold pills … copiously and so he ended up living with us for months and doing some weird stuff.

They were baking one day and she asked him for a cup of milk. He gave her a party glass full of milk. He had no concept of the measurement “cup.”

I was home sick and watching Coach Carter. He asked to watch it with me and then ever four minutes said, “Man, this movie—it just makes me want to go shoot some hoops. Wanna go play some bball with me?” After the third time, I stopped reminding him I would if I wasn’t running a fever and throwing up every half hour.

He attempted to heat up leftovers. That would have been fine if he had not put a Tupperware container on our electric stove top and turned on the burner.

He fiddled with Jenny’s beta fish filter and when another roommate came out and saw the fish flopping in an inch of water, she saved the fish and told Jenny she thought it might be the filter because she noticed Mike touching it. Roommate was accused of plotting to break up their happiness by accusing him of fish murder.

Later on, Jenny and Mike met online and discovered they were actually first cousins by marriage. They still continued to date and the stories just kept getting crazier! Lol maybe one day I’ll make a post dedicated to their relationship …

In the meantime, have a happy Fourth of July …. which really only is probably celebrated by the USAians lol So happy early weekend to everyone not celebrating the Fourth!