Sacred judges North American Beard and Moustache Competition

March 30, 2012

I don’t know how it started…I suppose I should do some research…regardless, roller derby and the moustache are firm friends, popularized even more by HELLARAD, the zine that exists to hurt feelings at all costs, because, let’s be frank, derby hurts. So, while the existence of such an event is surely surprising, it should be no surprise to derby fans that the Sacred City Derby Girls have volunteered to help officiate the Northern California Beard and Moustache Competition held at the Power House Pub in Folsom, this Saturday, March 31st.

The competition starts at 5pm and competitors need to check in at 3pm. Have a great beard or moustache? You can still compete! Ladies, there’s a category for you too, no facial hair required.

Sacred will be on site, selling merchandise, judging beards, drinking beer, causing a ruckus, rooting for Migg’s beard (a long time friend to Sacred), and some of our girls are rumored to be participating in the ladies’ category. This is an event like no other. It’s even sponsored by a rad thing called the American Mustache Institute (who knew?) and several others. Price is $10 at the door.

Choose your category and come prepared:

Natural Moustache – This category is all natural baby! No styling aids of any sort unless it is food or alchohol from the day of the event.

Partial Beard – This category includes all styles of facial hair that are neither full beards nor solely moustaches. Basically, this category will fill the gaps that the others do not.

Full Beard under 12 inches –This category is for shorter full beards groomed by means of shaving, trimming, and/or the use of styling products. There must be an unbroken line of unshaven face from the temple to the chin to the other temple.

Full Beard 12 inches and more – Portions of the cheeks can be partially shaven as can the neck, but there must be an unbroken line of unshaven face from the temple to the chin to the other temple. Trimming is allowed as are styling products, but this category is for fuller, longer full beards that have been allowed to achieve their natural fullness, size, and shape.

Freestyle – Anything goes. In this category the judges will be asked to determine which contestant’s facial hair is the most creative and artistic. Costumes and props are golden in this category.

Goatee – The power of the goat!!!! This is for all the fellas who rock the goat and nothing but the goat. A favorite of construction workers and rockers this is for all the hardcore facial haired ones out there.

Whiskerina – This is for the ladies. Show what the good lord neglected to give ya and show us what could have been. Think theme when crafting up your beard or moustache.

Business Beard – Short, tight, and edged so the boss won’t yell at you. This category is all business!

Sideburns – Make Elvis and Burnside proud by showing up rockin your chops!