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Author
Topic: Questions.... (Read 1497 times)

I had my first run of tests last week and I am currently waiting for the results....most of my days are very good (emotionally and physically speaking), thanks God. I think that one of the most important things that keeps me calmed is that I have a total health coverage and attention. I've tried to avoid to keep surfing the web for information about HIV because it only caused me fear and I dont want to be scared.I'm so happy because the MC (Molluscum) is almost totally gone and like I said, I've been feeling pretty good. I've become aware that although HIV is a carefull disease (or as I like to call it instead of disease:condition), there are a lot of other worse diseases than can actually kill you. One of my life slogans has always been: the only thing you need to die is to be alive; so i guess that thoughts have helped me a lot with all these rush of feelings.

Well now for the real intention of this message, I have some questions for you guys:1. How long can a person with HIV be in good health without ARV treatment?2. Does always HIV became AIDS?...I mean, Will I have AIDS at some point in my life?3. One of my fears about all this is how to tell it to someone you are dating. Should I tell him before or after having sex? A friend of mine tells me (for his experience) that I should tell after, but Im not sure.

1. Everyone is different. I've gone over 13 years without treatment, but other people may be able to go only 2 or 3. You need to keep monitoring your numbers because they will tell you when it's time to start meds.

2. Hiv will always become aids if left untreated. A small group of people who may be an exception to this are those who are long-term non-progressors (LTNP), specifically elite controllers. These are people who are lucky enough to have the genetic make-up that enables their immune system to keep hiv under control without the help of meds.

3. This is a matter of personal conscience/preference as well as the laws in your area. In some places it is illegal to not disclose before sex. You need to check out what applies where you live.

Personally, I always tell before sex. I wouldn't have sex with someone who didn't know my hiv status. For one thing, if they're going to be an asshole about hiv, I want to know before I get intimately involved with them, even if it's only a one night stand. Not telling people before sex has a way of biting you in the ass when you least expect it.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Let me just add that I had to start treatment within 9 months of Seroconversion as I was tanking fast. However the treatment is amazing and I am feeling great, and all my numbers have rebounded beautifully. But yes, everyone is different.

Regarding your question on when to disclose your status, let me rephrase the question for you, to see if your answer becomes clear. If you were HIV negative and about to have sex with someone you just met, would you want them to disclose their HIV status, before or after you had sex with them? I've lived with HIV for 26 years and I always disclose my status, prior to any intimacy, because I have enough respect for anyone I may have sex with, to give them all the information they need, to make an informed decision. My moral compass would never allow me to do any less.

Regarding your question on when to disclose your status, let me rephrase the question for you, to see if your answer becomes clear. If you were HIV negative and about to have sex with someone you just met, would you want them to disclose their HIV status, before or after you had sex with them? I've lived with HIV for 26 years and I always disclose my status, prior to any intimacy, because I have enough respect for anyone I may have sex with, to give them all the information they need, to make an informed decision. My moral compass would never allow me to do any less.

^ What he said. More to the point if you don't disclose someone may feel as if you have deceived them in order to have sex with them. If you're perhaps thinking about a relationship with this person that just multiplies the importance of the issue at hand. I personally disclose really early in order to avoid people who are going to have a really negative reaction to my status.

Hey guys,Thank you once again for taking the time to answer and give me your comments.

@ Ann: 2. So if a start treatment (when the doctor says i should) it will never advance to a AIDS stage? or is something imminent?

@ Will, Joe & Hellraiser:I've always thought so too. I would prefer that that person tells me before if I were in their shoes. I also think that telling before is an act of respect and care for that other person, of course I'm talking about if I would want to start a serious relationship with someone. Since I was diagnosed, I'm not crazy about one night stands, in fact i try to avoid them....so I don't have to worry about telling a lot of ppl. I fear the ignorance of people. I guess if that person really cares about me, wont mind if I'm HIV+, I know I wouldn't if it was the opposite situation.

Thanks again for your comments and if somebody wants to provide some other comments, they are very welcome!I will keep you guys posted when I get my first results.

I hope all is good on your labs. About HIV always becoming AIDS-- I've wondered the same. I've wondered how many people have the virus but are able to keep it in check and never know they have the virus. There are the elite and LTNP as others said. However, I've thought those are just the ones who got tested. I don't think we have a good figure on how many there actually are, because they could go through life never knowing.

About disclosing-- I would be upset if someone french kissed me and they told me after they had the flu or herpes.

@ Ann: 2. So if a start treatment (when the doctor says i should) it will never advance to a AIDS stage? or is something imminent?

If you go on the meds when your numbers and your doctor says the time is right, there is no reason to think you will progress to aids, provided you are able to continue taking the meds. (I'm talking about not having access to the meds, for instance.)

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts