Friday, November 17, 2006

"Welcome, everyone, to the Junior League's 'Cats in Trees Benefit Dinner.' As you probably know, cats getting stuck in trees has reached epidemic levels in our community, diverting our firemen from their primary task. Just last week, a church, a hospital, and a convent all burned down while the Fire Department was busy getting Queenie out of a maple tree. But before we get to our keynote speaker, please enjoy the lavish spread provided by our wonderful members."

"And that's the spread, ladies! I want to extend my gratitude to all the wonderful chefs who helped make this luncheon possible! If there are any dishes I've left out, please let me know so I can put them out and everyone will be able to sample them. Please enjoy your meals!