Officers

Meet the Officers

The UCSD Pepband is a student-run organization. The officer corps for the coming year is elected by band members at the end of the previous school year. The lead positions of Manager, Assistant Manager, and Treasurer are required to be current undergraduates at UCSD. There are no term limits, but amazingly enough, some people actually leave the band after they graduate.

Why must you micromanage?

Manager

Qualifications: As the former assistant manager, Nancy decided to drop the “assistant” and now is just the manager. It’s a shame she didn’t account for the assistant falling fifty stories – we really could have used one. My skinny caramel latte isn’t going to get itself, you know.

Job description: The Manager is the leader of the band. She is in charge of organizing events and dealing with anyone who needs to be dealt with. The Manager tends to get her greedy little hands into a bit of everything.

Assistant Manager

Qualifications: Amy was once at a flight museum and stepped inside an old Pan Am aircraft, only to be surprised by a escaped chimpanzee in the cabin. Driven by curiosity, she followed the primate as it scampered out the museum and towards a local residential neighborhood. At first on foot and then by a car she repurposed from an impand lot, Amy journeyed across the fair Panama City. The increasingly agitated chimp led her to the birthday party of a local five year old boy and gestured wildly at one of the attendees, a stiff man in an archaic military uniform. Amy managed to get into the party by connecting well with the birthday boy’s father over their mutual appreciation of Simple Pan; once inside, she immediately spotted the military man and, at the chimp’s urging, went to speak to him. In fact, he had recently become the de facto dictator of that area of the city after his panned cake business did not pan out. He held his authority by maintaining a perfect public image, and the locals looked at him in awe for it. Amy, realizing what the intellient chimp needed her to do, gathered her strength, grappled the dictator, and bodily heaved him into the swimming pool, drawing peals of laughter from the attendees. The man’s image and power were lost.Amy slowly leaned down to the man, who was struggling to stay afloat and lamenting his sunken dreams, and whispered contemptuously,

“Get overthrown.”

Job description: The Assistant Manager, aside from assisting the Manager in any way necessary, is in charge of planning social events and the famous trip to Davis for Picnic Day.

Treasurer

Qualifications: Chelly’s continued active membership in the flute junta (“flunta”) still unnerves me. With her prior pepbag monopoly and now financial control, it isn’t astrophysics to see that she plans on stuffing money-dollar-currency-duck-bills into the conveniently discontinued bags and running off.

Job description: The treasurer is in charge of managing the band’s treasure finances. Duh.

Secretary

Qualifications: Linda is a lot my dad: stoic, serious, and pretty reliable at putting up the Christmas lights. But once a year on my birthday, s/he really pulls through. Usually it’s a birthday card, which Linda promised in her campaign to send with drawings. I guess on my fifth birthday my dad got me a 21-speed bike, and on my 21st birthday he got me a fifth of sc – do you hear that? Who’s yelling “LINDAAAAAA! Lin- Lin- LINDAAAAAAA!”

Job description:

The secretary takes minutes at officer meetings, takes attendance, writes letters when they need to be written, and supposedly sends out birthday cards on the birthdays of our members.

Webmaster

Qualifications: The young apprentice of prior webmaster Darth Fallonous, I’ve stumbled upon a whole new host of problems after dispatching of my master in accordance with the Rule of Two. Get it? Cause a website needs a webhost?

Job description:

The webslave keeps the website up to date. He is also in charge of handling any problems with the mailing list and being the laziest officer of them all.

Historian

Qualifications: Sherry has a lot going for her, most important of which is her thug heritage (her great-uncle on her mom’s side was full thug). According to legend (and maybe IMDb), she starred in The Dark Knight as “Thug #4.” Seriously, look at her photos. Straight thugging.

Ashley embodies the eloquence of the human soul that the Pepband needs and is a classic food staple among families today (Kraft Ashley MacInCheese™). She claims to have used a camera that’s loads better than the one on my decade-old waterproof disposable camera, which I still think is superior. Sure, DSLRs have a lot going for them, but are they waterproof? Point for me. Did I mention something about waterproofing? I can’t hear your answer over that of my camera shutter working in this waterfall.

Job description: The historians are in charge of taking pictures to document pep band events. They are also in charge of creating the quarterly (yearly) scrapbooks, being spirited, and helping with new member integration.

Music Librarian

Qualifications: Corey finds himself in the unique position of being a bear. It’s a miracle that he retained his opposable thumbs during the transformation and is somehow fully capable of managing our music. Do bears already have opposable thumbs? Anyways, I’m sure he’ll exercise excellent discretion with the book. 1… Stacy’s Mom. 2… Stacy’s Mom. Corey? Corey?!

Job description:

The music librarian is in charge of making, updating and distributing our music to pep band members.

Public Relations Manager

Qualifications: Natalie Culhane is finally top dog in the Natalie hierarchy after she began the “Occupy Green Room” movement. It only took two years for, well, the other Natalie to graduate, but now she’s finally free! Free Natalie! What? The email signup sheet has three new Natalies? Legalize… uh… exclusivity.

Job description:

The PR manager is responsible for organizing events and promotions outside of athletics. These are mostly community events.

Head Conductor

Qualifications: Armed with a loud snap and a soul-wrenching rendition of “OChem No,” Tim seems perfectly poised to be our adventurous captain into the voyage of music. But after his invention and subsequent advocacy of #twosongsaweek, I’m not sure how any of us will be able to stay afloat.

Job description:

The head conductor keeps the other conductors in line, plans what music we need to rehearse, and, obviously, conducts the band.

Director

Qualifications: Three bari saxes, you hear him whisper. Think about it. His hot breath in your ear haunts you, sticks to you,… convinces you? At this rate, Kirk Wang might just be the best contender for the 2016 presidential election.

Job description:

The Director, by virtue of being old and not an undergrad, adds that extra ounce of credibility when dealing with The Man.