My parents were on vacation and left my sister and I at my Great Uncle & Aunt's along with my Grandmother to take care of us. All of my cousins on both sides were always bone skinny growing up while my sister and were "normal" - but to our relatives, we were considered fat. At every meal, if my grandma considered us to have eaten enough, she would take the serving utensils from each plate and wipe it clean (often in her mouth!) so that we couldn't take any more food. My Aunt did protest sometimes and try to sneak us treats when my grandma wasn't looking, but my Great Uncle thought the sun rose and set with my grandma (his little sister) and would get very angry with his wife if she didn't cater to her every whim. When my parents came back, they were surprised to find that their kids had lost weight.

Please tell me your parents NEVER left you there AGAIN! That is horrible!

My parents were on vacation and left my sister and I at my Great Uncle & Aunt's along with my Grandmother to take care of us. All of my cousins on both sides were always bone skinny growing up while my sister and were "normal" - but to our relatives, we were considered fat. At every meal, if my grandma considered us to have eaten enough, she would take the serving utensils from each plate and wipe it clean (often in her mouth!) so that we couldn't take any more food. My Aunt did protest sometimes and try to sneak us treats when my grandma wasn't looking, but my Great Uncle thought the sun rose and set with my grandma (his little sister) and would get very angry with his wife if she didn't cater to her every whim. When my parents came back, they were surprised to find that their kids had lost weight.

Please tell me your parents NEVER left you there AGAIN! That is horrible!

It really really is!

Logged

Just because someone is offended that does not mean they are in the right.

I remember being on vacation when I was 13, I think and for breakfast I served myself a bowl of granola and sat down at the breakfast bar to start eating. My dad snatched it out from under me just before I was about to eat and threw part of it away so I would have a more acceptable serving size. Made me FURIOUS and I refused to eat the rest of it, or anything else for breakfast. My folks were convinced I was getting chubby that year.

I think I did gain about 5 pounds that year but hello, puberty? The weight was showing up in my abdomen, hips and thighs so the usual places where girls start to fill out. Yet I was hearing "You're getting chubby, look at that extra fat there!" It's no wonder I still had some lingering body image issues into my 30's.

Logged

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

The thing that galls me about food dictators is this: Food is one of the few things that we have in common. We *all* have to eat. It's one of the best social building activities, and there's a certain joy in seeing someone enjoy a really good meal.

It's akin to having someone force you to go to sleep, force you to wake up, and dictate exactly how long you'll sleep, and your energy levels be damned. Further, they'll tell you what bed to sleep in, and even what bedclothes to use.

I'd agree with you re food; but -- in much of the Western world, at any rate -- there is a fair-sized minority who find little or no pleasure / interest in food, are very strongly in the "eat-to-live-not-live-to-eat" camp, and tend to be vocal about their opinions on this issue, and sure of their rightness and righteousness on said issue -- and they dismiss and despise food's social aspects. Many food dictators, are people who are of this turn of mind. (I sometimes feel that I run into more than my fair share of such folk.)

Perhaps when the food dictators have universally triumphed, their next front to tackle will indeed be the sleeping one...

At my workplace, we have a monthly birthday celebration. 6 of us have volunteered to bring something when it is our turn, so we each have two months a year. Half of the contributions are homemade and half are store bought. It works out well. Most of the time, the celebration food is a dessert, but we have had chip and dip parties and today, we had bagels and cream cheese.

S works here and has major issues with food, she also over shares personal health information and tries to "educate" everyone else.

S comes in the break room and starts talking about "how it has been so long since she had a bagel. Bagels are so high on the glycemic index. Diabetics shouldn't eat bagels" and goes on and on... I left the room. I have distanced myself from S personally because I don't need to hear how many WW points she has left, or what she ate for every single meal, or what she is craving. She spoiled the mood this morning, and three people asked her to stop with her monologue. I hope she retires this year.

That goes hand in hand with people who "cheat" on their diets and whine about it afterward. A friend of mine who is diabetic went to a picnic and whined about how she should not have had a tablespoon of potato salad. A tablespoon.

I have no patience for this. If you truly believe you shouldn't eat something, then don't. A tablespoon of potato salad is not a cyanide pill.

I am a type II diabetic. I keep myself in control with medication, diet, and exercise. I never drink soda or juice, I watch my carbs, I eat small meals throughout the day. I take care of this myself, and don't broadcast to everyone.

There are only two people that I counsel regarding their diet choices, and both were diagnosed after I was and they look to me as a mentor. I do not mention these issues in company. I detest those who criticize what I eat. It is between my physician and myself. If I make a poor choice, I will pay for it.

S comes in the break room and starts talking about "how it has been so long since she had a bagel. Bagels are so high on the glycemic index. Diabetics shouldn't eat bagels" and goes on and on... I left the room. I have distanced myself from S personally because I don't need to hear how many WW points she has left, or what she ate for every single meal, or what she is craving. She spoiled the mood this morning, and three people asked her to stop with her monologue. I hope she retires this year.

I am at the point where I call the chronic complainers out on this. I firmly believe that there is no need for a nice, fun atmosphere to be ruined because of one person's bad attitude. I also have no problem excluding these people or denying them access to a celebration and telling them why. Nicely and not rudely, but truthfully.

S comes in the break room and starts talking about "how it has been so long since she had a bagel. Bagels are so high on the glycemic index. Diabetics shouldn't eat bagels" and goes on and on... I left the room. I have distanced myself from S personally because I don't need to hear how many WW points she has left, or what she ate for every single meal, or what she is craving. She spoiled the mood this morning, and three people asked her to stop with her monologue. I hope she retires this year.

I am at the point where I call the chronic complainers out on this. I firmly believe that there is no need for a nice, fun atmosphere to be ruined because of one person's bad attitude. I also have no problem excluding these people or denying them access to a celebration and telling them why. Nicely and not rudely, but truthfully.

Then there are the ones who agonize over every. single. bite. of. food. they contemplate putting in their mouths. I still remember a CW who went on for about 15 minutes as to whether or not the very small (think smaller than an oreo) cookie was worth eating or not. Meanwhile, I had happily stuffed 3 or 4 into my own piehole.

we have celebrations all the time here, breakfast, lunch, etc. breakfast is usually bagels, danish, but there is always fruit. Lunch maybe pizza or sandwiches, but again, there is always salad, so you can eat as "healthy" or not as you feel like.

S comes in the break room and starts talking about "how it has been so long since she had a bagel. Bagels are so high on the glycemic index. Diabetics shouldn't eat bagels" and goes on and on... I left the room. I have distanced myself from S personally because I don't need to hear how many WW points she has left, or what she ate for every single meal, or what she is craving. She spoiled the mood this morning, and three people asked her to stop with her monologue. I hope she retires this year.

I am at the point where I call the chronic complainers out on this. I firmly believe that there is no need for a nice, fun atmosphere to be ruined because of one person's bad attitude. I also have no problem excluding these people or denying them access to a celebration and telling them why. Nicely and not rudely, but truthfully.

Then there are the ones who agonize over every. single. bite. of. food. they contemplate putting in their mouths. I still remember a CW who went on for about 15 minutes as to whether or not the very small (think smaller than an oreo) cookie was worth eating or not. Meanwhile, I had happily stuffed 3 or 4 into my own piehole.

we have celebrations all the time here, breakfast, lunch, etc. breakfast is usually bagels, danish, but there is always fruit. Lunch maybe pizza or sandwiches, but again, there is always salad, so you can eat as "healthy" or not as you feel like.

We had one like that in our office before she changed jobs. Everything that could be turned to her topic of choice (diet/exercise) was. Your chair broke? She was using an exercise ball. Gas prices getting high? She saved money by running to work - she ran four extra miles yesterday too. Deciding where to go to lunch? She couldn't go *there* the food had soooo much sodium. You were having noodles for lunch? Oh, she needed much more protein than just noodles. On and on and on. I ran into her a while back, and she asked if she was missing anything in the office. I tried to make a joke "well, it's gotten more crowded in our area, and there were bagels in the break room on Thursday." "Ohh," she said. "I never ate those bagels anyway. Bagels aren't healthy."

Passive aggressive, but I would be sorely tempted to respond with "I feel you... these bagels are so *good*. I don't know if I should stop at just one, or have a second. Ooooh, I really should have a second..."

Perhaps when the food dictators have universally triumphed, their next front to tackle will indeed be the sleeping one...

They've already started.

I'm a night person. I've always been a night person. I don't want to be anything OTHER than a night person. Do not wake me in the morning and think I'm going to be chipper and alert. It's not going to happen.

Yet I am told, repeatedly, that I MUST become a morning person and that staying up late is my greatest sin of all and that I'm so wrong for not conforming to the "get up and shine" morning person routine.

I have a coworker who's at work by 7:00. Yes, he gets to leave at 4:00. And I'm still there. BUT, I slept a little later in the morning. Plus, I'm at work at a time that helps those employees we have in other time zones; I was able to train someone in the Phillipines because I was still around when it was morning his time.

Seriously. Give it a break. Get your own dang self up at any time you please. But leave me alone.

I remember being on vacation when I was 13, I think and for breakfast I served myself a bowl of granola and sat down at the breakfast bar to start eating. My dad snatched it out from under me just before I was about to eat and threw part of it away so I would have a more acceptable serving size. Made me FURIOUS and I refused to eat the rest of it, or anything else for breakfast. My folks were convinced I was getting chubby that year.

I think I did gain about 5 pounds that year but hello, puberty? The weight was showing up in my abdomen, hips and thighs so the usual places where girls start to fill out. Yet I was hearing "You're getting chubby, look at that extra fat there!" It's no wonder I still had some lingering body image issues into my 30's.

Ugh. I wish parents, particularly fathers, realized what sort of damage they are doing to their daughters when they express hostility or disgust/disdain for their pubescent daughters' developments. It's something the girls can't help, so they feel trapped in their own bodies, out of control and frightened by changes that are already pretty disconcerting. Their parents' expressing their anxiety over the changes by making the daughter feel even MORE paranoid about her body, that's just wrong.

My little sister developed really early. I was an extreme late bloomer, so my parents were completely unprepared for this "wild recessive gene" to kick in and put my sister in a full-fledged ladies support garment by the time she was in eighth grade. My dad, bless him, was SO uncomfortable discussing anything related to our bodies, but he never made Sis feel bad about herself.

On the other hand, a mother involved in the booster club for the high school activity Sis and I were both involved in grilled my mom about what Mom planned to do to about Sis's "problem." Mom described her plans for extra supportive sports bras until the conversation progress and Mom realized this woman, Lady Dictator, expected my mom to put Sis on a diet to starve the curves off of Sis.

It shouldn't have surprised Mom. This was the same woman who accompanied our whole group to our annual weeklong summer training camp*, which involved strenuous activity in the hot sun for up to eight hours a day. Lady Dictactor insisted on rooming with her daughter - who was not rail thin, but certainly not fat - instead of letting her room with her friends. We soon realized that we never saw LD Daughter at meal times. Lady Dictator had put her daughter on a strict diet limited to "meal replacement shakes." She roomed with LD Daughter to make sure that she didn't sneak food. Not to mention, Lady Dictator discouraged her daughter from drinking at water breaks because she didn't want her to ruin the slimming effect of sweating out the excess water weight... you know, DEHYDRATION.

Daughter was really sick a few days into the camp and our program director took Lady Dictator aside to have a hushed, but very adamant conversation none of us were able to hear. Suddenly, Daughter was allowed to eat meals and drink as much as she wanted, while Lady Dictator looked on with a pinched, sour lemon expression. She lamented that her daughter had ruined all of the progress she'd made, pigging out like that. Yep, having a whole sandwich at lunch after working out in the sun for hours is really indulgent.

I really wish I could say LD Daughter broke away as an adult and is in control of her own life. But I've seen them recently and her mother has her pressed just as firmly under her thumb as ever. Daughter is in her mid-thirties and very thin, but seems absolutely miserable.

*Pretty normal. Lots of parents accompanied our group, which involved dozens of students. But the parents usually roomed together, allowing the kids to share quarters and bond.