Joke of the day

Every man needs a go-to joke.

Monday

Joke
N°
3367

Trigger Gets Help
Roy Rogers is riding through the Wild West on his trusty horse, Trigger, When he happens upon a group of Apache Indians. Not pleased at having trespassers in the territory, The Indians capture Roy and bury him up to his chin in the sand. Before leaving him to die in the scorching heat, the Indians decide to grant him one last wish.
"Could I say a parting farewell to my trusty steed?" comes the request. The Indians seem to understand, and agree, so Roy beckons Trigger to come closer, and then whispers in his ear. The horse bolts off at once in the direction of the nearest town.
Half an hour later, the horse returns with a gorgeous, scantily clad prostitute on its back. The prostitute jumps down from the horse and gently removes the small, frilly knickers she's wearing. Sitting astride Roy Rogers' face, she then proceeds to give him firsts, seconds and thirds of her fanny, almost suffocating him in the process.
Well, the Indians think this is magic and decide that he clearly deserves another wish. So Roy beckons his horse again and whispers in his ear.
"I said fetch a posse, you stupid git!" Marcus T.

Tuesday

Joke
N°
3368

Death or Bulunga
Three missionaries are taken hostage by a primitive tribe in the deepest, darkest lands of Africa. The chief approaches the first missionary and says, "Choose death or Bulunga."
The first missionary, not wanting to die, replies, "Bulunga." Accordingly, he is dragged from the hut and is tied up, facing a pole. The natives appear one by one and have anal sex with the bound missionary. Once the natives have finished their deeds, the missionary is untied and led away.
The chief then approaches the second missionary and says, "Choose death or Bulunga."
The second missionary, not wanting to die, also replies, "Bulunga." Accordingly, he too is dragged from the hut and is tied up, facing a pole. The natives appear one by one and have anal sex with the bound missionary. Once the natives have finished their deeds, the missionary is untied and led away.
The third missionary, having witnessed the fates of the first two missionaries, decides that he wouldn't be able to live with the humiliation. The chief approaches the third missionary and says, "Choose death or Bulunga."
The third missionary replies, "Death!"
"Alright then," says the chief, "Death by Bulunga!" Darren B.

Wednesday

Joke
N°
3369

Gone Fishing....
A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big department store looking for a job. The manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas."
Well, the boss liked the kid, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."
His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many sales did you make today?"
The kid says, "One."
The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?"
Kid says, "$101,237.64."
Boss says, "$101,237.64? What did you sell him?"
Kid says, "First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department, and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Blazer."
The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck?"
Kid says, "No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Well, since your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing.'" Gregory N.

Thursday

Joke
N°
3311

Punctuate
An English professor wrote these words on the blackboard, directing his students to punctuate it correctly. "Woman without her man is nothing."
The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing." Denis S.

Friday

Joke
N°
3312

On Trial
A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense's closing statement, the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick: "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom."
He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened.
Finally the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty."
The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty. "But how?" inquired the lawyer. "You must have had some doubt, I saw all of you stare at the door." The jury foreman replied, "Oh, we did look, but your client didn't." Norm N.

Saturday

Joke
N°
3313

How Could You
Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find out that she's pregnant. She is furious. Here she's about to run for senator of New York and this has happened to her. She calls the White House, gets Bill on the phone and immediately starts screaming; "How could you have let this happen? With all that's going on right now, you go and get me pregnant! How could you? I can't believe this! I just found out I am five weeks pregnant and it is all your fault! Your fault! Well, what have you got to say?"
There is nothing but dead silence on the phone. She screams again, "Did you hear me?"
Finally she hears Bill's very, very quiet voice. In a barely audible whisper, he says, "Who is this?" Mark N.