Pregnancy after a miscarriage

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Why don't I feel happy about my pregnancy?

Even though you've conceived again, it may be a while before you feel free to enjoy being pregnant. It's natural, if you've had a miscarriage, to worry that you may lose this pregnancy, especially in your first trimester (Bergner et al 2008, Côté-Arsenault et al 2006, Woods-Giscombé et al 2010).

A sense of guilt about moving on from your last pregnancy (Schott et al 2007:213).

The stage at which your last pregnancy was lost may be particularly difficult. Coping may be easier if you acknowledge and accept this painful anniversary, rather than try to push it from your mind. Once you're past that point, you're likely to feel more confident in your pregnancy, and less anxious (Côté-Arsenault et al 2006, Woods-Giscombé et al 2010).

Be kind to yourself, and accept that it's fine and normal in your circumstances not to feel happy all of the time. Allow yourself a good cry if you need it to relieve any tension.

Should we wait to tell loved ones I'm pregnant?

Do whatever feels right for you (Schott et al 2007:214). Many women wait until they've passed the point of their last miscarriage to share their news.
However, if you tell your family and friends, they can be there to support you.

I can't forget what happened last time. What can I do?

Try to remember that this experience is different. It's natural to reflect on what might have been, but try to look forward to your future baby. Some women feel they can't really believe in the new pregnancy until they pass the point of the previous loss.

Try to stay in the present(NHS Choices 2011). When you feel yourself worrying about the future, stop and think only about the moment you are in, and what's happening now. Notice the sights, smells and sounds around you, and be aware of your thoughts and feelings.

Practising mindfulness in this way can reduce your stress levels and make you feel better (NHS Choices 2011).

Find out what happened

When you lost your baby, you may have been too shocked and upset to take in the details of what may have caused it. Ask your doctor or midwife to go over your notes with you, so that you can understand what happened. It may be that the chances of a similar problem happening again are very low (Schott et al 2007:215), which could help to reassure you.

Unfortunately, many miscarriages don't have explanations. But a past miscarriage, or even two, makes you only slightly more likely to have another one in the future. You're still more likely to have a successful pregnancy this time than not. Most women who have lost a baby go on to have normal, healthy pregnancies (Miscarriage Association 2011).

Learn more about your experience

If a past loss was diagnosed as a blighted ovum, or caused by cervical weakness, for example, learn about those conditions. You may feel more in control of your situation if you understand what happened before (Schott et al 2007:212).

Try relaxation exercises

Relaxation may help you to think calmly about your baby, and how you may feel when he arrives. You'll always remember the baby that you lost. Put into perspective any feelings of disloyalty you may sometimes have, and learn to love this baby (Schott et al 2007:214). You could try talking to your bump to help with bonding.

Share your worries

You don't have to cope with these feelings alone (Miscarriage Association 2011). Your partner suffered a loss, too, so try to support each other.

However, some men worry that sharing how they feel with their partner will cause her even more distress. Try to understand if your partner would rather talk through his feelings with someone else (Schott et al 2007:213). The important thing is that he talks about it, if he needs to.

Seek company

Revisiting the clinic or maternity unit that you used when you were last pregnant may bring back upsetting memories. Ask your partner, a close friend or family member to go with you (Sands nd), if it would help.

Talk to your doctor or midwife regularly

Going to regular antenatal appointments will reassure you that your baby is doing well. Tell your midwife or doctor about your anxieties. Keep a list of questions you want to ask, so that everything is covered when you see them (Sands nd).

You could request to be seen between appointments to listen to your baby's heartbeat, or for extra ultrasound scans, if it will make you feel better. This may be easier if you're referred to an early pregnancy assessment unit (Miscarriage Association 2011).

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Comments

Hi ladies, I have a 1 year old and she is beautiful, but I had a very bad birth with her as my placenta ruptured and she was without oxygen for 40 mins, we got told she may not make it through the night ,but thankfully did! She got put on the cooling device and thankfully made a full recovery , on top of this she was six weeks early! I feel so thankfully she's OK but before her I had a missed miscarriage . and now I'm pregnant again at 5 weeks and I can honestly say I have never been so paranoid!! I'm going for an early scan tomorrow so hopefully all is well ....but I feel like I'm going insane with worrie and my partner things I'm mad! Does anyone else feel like me??

I miscarriages twins a 10wks and had a ERPC two days after on Friday 20th February. Although the feelings of lose and hurt are still raw I really want to try and conceive asap as I don't feel like a woman anymore and carrying a full term baby would make me feel whole again, is it possible if I do get pregnant (fingers crossed I will) will it result in a healthy pregnancy or twins. I'm only 28 and this was my 2nd miscarriage but 1st missed miscarriage. How long do I have to wait and how long does it take to heal after ERPC as I'm spotting but experiencing really bad abdominal pains, leg aches and headaches

I'm 5 week pregnant I had bloods done on Sunday night and they was only at 45 but I bleed on Monday had bloods done again Tuesday morning and they came back at 48 but I had no bleed now for 16 hours x could I still gone to have tis baby xxx help please xx

This is hard ass everyone is different, I have a 2.5 year old little boy and when I fell pregnant with him it was due to split condom and morning after pill not working so he was meant to be and am so happy, I am now trying for my second, I fell pregnant and miscarried after 8 weeks in sept 2014, it was awful but common as the doctors put it, I decided to try straight away after my first cycle and fell straight away again, I then miscarried again at 5 weeks end of November 2014, again common so the EPU say, I have decided to give my self at least two normal cycles before we try again but my worry is already increasing, I know I can carry full term, I have ectropian on my cervix but apparantly that has nothing to do with your fertility so I have no idea if there's an issue! I'm already issue and due to try again soon and not sure if I can take another m/c anyone else been in a similar situation and had a successful outcome? Thanks in advance xx

Thanks a lot this has really been helpful 20wks pregnant everything is going well with the pregnancy but my problem is I am so paranoid since I had 2 misscariages but I blv dis baby I am carrying is a fighter and all will be well fingers crossed

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