OOOOOOOOOOO MMMMMMMMMMM AAAAAAAAAAA H H
O O M M M A A H H
O O M M M A A H H
O O M M M A A H H
O O M M M AAAAAAAAAAA HHHHHHHHHHH
O O M M A A H H
O O M M A A H H
O O M M A A H H
O O M M A A H H
OOOOOOOOOOO M M A A H H
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas game script was written by Graeme Murphy,
A.K.A. Omah. I did the missions whilst recording them on my VCR. Then, after
I’d finished a section of missions, I stopped, then wrote the script with the
help of the subtitles. None of this was copied, every single letter was written
by me. In the script there are 39,248 words altogether.
Do not use this on your site unless you have my permission, although the
dialogue belongs to Rockstar Games, Inc., I wrote it. If you are interested in
putting this on your site then please send me an email at graemebobo@msn.com.
No small free sites though.
If you spot any mistakes please feel free to email me at graemebobo@msn.com.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The sites who currently have permission to use this are:
--- gamefaqs.com
--- neoseeker.com
--- gamepro.com
--- supercheats.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks to the following people for correcting mistakes:
--- Pmorris18
--- Crips
--- Deimos37
--- DOMiNiONxP
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This script has very strong language throughout and some sexual language, so
don't read it if you are offended by strong language. The language is in the
game, therefore, it wouldn't be right to edit it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Version history:
Version 1.00: Original finished product.
Version 1.01: Permission section added.
Version 1.02: Mistake corrected.
Version 1.03: Permission section updated.
Version 1.04: Permission section updated.
Version 1.14: The script changed to a movie style layout and some typos and
mistakes corrected. Some wording also slightly adjusted.
Version 1.15: Three mistakes corrected.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas Game Script
Los Santos Missions (AREA)
Opening Movie
(On screen) Francis INTL. Airport, Liberty City, 1992.
CJ is at the airport.
CJ
(voice-over)
After five years on the East
Coast, it was time to go home.
(On screen) Los Santos International Airport.
A previous phone call is heard.
Phone rings.
CJ
'Sup?
SWEET
Carl, it's Sweet.
CJ
Whassup, Sweet, what you want?
SWEET
It's Moms... She's dead bro.
CJ gets into a taxi.
Police pull over the taxi. Tenpenny, Pulaski and Hernandez get
out.
TENPENNY
(into megaphone)
Passenger. Show us your hands.
Stop. Get down on your knees. Now
down on your stomach. There you
go.
Hernandez cuffs CJ and takes his money
TENPENNY
I'll take that Hernandez.
CJ
Hey, that's my paper man. That's
money.
TENPENNY
This is drug money.
CJ
My money, man...
PULASKI
Hey don't worry about it, I'll
fill it out later.
TENPENNY
Welcome home, Carl. Glad to be
back? You haven't forgotten about
us, have you boy?
CJ
Hell no, Officer Tenpenny. I was
just wondering what took y'all so
long.
TENPENNY
Get in the car.
CJ
Ease up, man. Damn.
TENPENNY
Watch your head.
Tenpenny bangs CJ's head on the car as he's putting him in.
TENPENNY
Oh! My bad.
PULASKI
(to taxi driver)
Get outta here, you grease-ball
bastard!
(To himself)
Stupid Mexican...
(To Hernandez)
Oh, hey, sorry.
CJ
My bag. Hey, man, my bag!
View on police car driving.
TENPENNY
How you been, Carl? How's your
wonderful family?
CJ
I'm here to bury my Moms. You know
that.
TENPENNY
Yeah, I guess I do. So what else
you got shakin' Carl?
CJ
Nothing. I live in Liberty City
now. I'm clean. Legit.
TENPENNY
No, you ain't never been clean,
Carl.
PULASKI
Well what've we got here?
TENPENNY
This is a weapon, Officer Pulaski,
that was used to gun down a police
officer not ten minutes ago.
Officer Pendelbury. A fine man, I
might add. You work fast, nigga.
CJ
You know I just got off the plane!
PULASKI
It's a good thing we found you and
retrieved the murder weapon.
CJ
That ain't my gun.
TENPENNY
Don't bullshit me, Carl
PULASKI
Yeah, don't bullshit him, Carl.
CJ
What the fuck you want from me
this time?
TENPENNY
When we want you, we'll find you.
In the meantime, try not to gun
down any more officers of the law.
CJ
You can't leave me here - it's
BALLAS country.
TENPENNY
I thought you said you was
innocent, Carl? That you don't
bang?
PULASKI
(into his radio)
This is car 58... WHAT?!
TENPENNY
See you around like a doughnut,
Carl...
PULASKI
Officer Pendelbury's down? We'll
be right over.
CJ
Ah shit, here we go again. Worst
place in the world. Rollin Heights
Balla Country. I ain't represented
Grove Street in five years, but
the Ballas won't give a shit.
Carl Johnson (BOSS)
Big Smoke (MISSION)
CJ is in his house.
He hears voices from when he was younger.
KENDL
Stop it! What are you doing? Carl,
Brian, stop it!
CJ
Quit it! Moms will hear!
KENDL
Mom! They're up to something!
Big Smoke enters the room holding a baseball bat.
BIG SMOKE
You picked the wrong house, fool!
CJ
Big Smoke! It's me, Carl! Chill,
chill!
BIG SMOKE
CJ, my dog! Whassup? Hey baby, you
OK, man?
CJ
No, man, it's my Moms, homie...
BIG SMOKE
Hey, I don't know why this had to
happen, but I promise you, I'm
going to find out who killed your
Moms! The streets is cold, dog.
Like it says in the book, we are
blessed and cursed.
CJ
What fucking book?
BIG SMOKE
Same things make us laugh, make us
cry. But right now, we gotta take
care our business. Go see your
brother at the cemetery. C'mon,
let's bounce.
CJ and Big Smoke get into Big Smoke's car.
BIG SMOKE
You want to drive?
CJ
Yeah, that's cool. Nice car,
Smoke.
BIG SMOKE
You know me. It's not cut. Keep
the value in it. Keep it real.
Carl Johnson (BOSS)
Sweet & Kendl (MISSION)
CJ and Big Smoke enter the cemetery, where Sweet, Ryder and
Kendl are already waiting for Big Smoke.
BIG SMOKE
I've missed you these five years,
man - they gonna be real happy to
see you.
(To Sweet, Ryder and
Kendl)
Hey, what's up, y'all? Look who I
found hanging around.
KENDL
Carl, hey, good to see you.
CJ
I can't believe she's gone, man.
SWEET
That's another funeral you ran
away from, fool. Just like
Brian's.
CJ
Hey, she was my Momma too.
SWEET
Not for the past 5 years she
wasn't, nigga.
Kendl starts walking away.
SWEET
And were the fuck you think you're
going?
KENDL
What? get out of my face. I'm
going to see Cesar.
SWEET
The hell you are, girl! You ain't
messing with them eses, you know
we beefing -
KENDL
Look, I love him! And what the
fuck are you?
SWEET
At least I got principles.
KENDL
Oh, and I guess that makes you an
upstanding American. Carl, tell
him!
SWEET
Carl, don't you tell me shit,
bitch.
CJ
As long as he treats her right.
Disrespect you, and he's dead.
SWEET
(to CJ)
How the hell you gonna say that?
Like it's any business of yours.
KENDL
Fuck you, Sweet.
CJ
Oh, shit - here we go again.
SWEET
This shit's real fucked up.
Everything!
CJ
What you mean?
SWEET
What, apart from your Mother being
dead? Things are going real bad.
Here, let me show you, running
man. Tony's buried over there.
Little Devil over there, Big Devil
over there. Man, it's just crazy -
everybody blasts on fools first
then asks questions second.
The four homies are walking to Big Smoke's car.
SWEET
Ballas! Drive by! Incoming!
Big Smoke's car gets blown up in the shooting.
BIG SMOKE
Awww, mother-fucker, my car!
SWEET
We gotta get back to the 'hood,
man, it's too crazy round here!
Grab a bike and pedal. Even you
ain't forgotten that.
///MISSION\\\
SWEET
Shit! A Ballas car is onto us!
Split up!
Sweet splits and CJ and Big Smoke have to follow Ryder.
RYDER
Keep up, mother-fucker!
///MISSION\\\
The four homies meet at Grove Street.
RYDER
I got with them mother-fuckers
though - showed them niggaz who's
gangsta. Ryder, nigga!
SWEET
So when you leaving, Carl?
CJ
I ain't sure. Thought I might
stay. Things is fucked up.
SWEET
Well, the last thing we need is
your help.
CJ
Aw man, I won't let you down, I
swear.
SWEET
Hey, we're gonna call up some
'hood rats and chill the hell out.
You want some?
CJ
I gotta whole lot going on, and
I'm tired. I'll catch ya'll later.
BIG SMOKE
Hey yo' just drop in. We all
hangin' out.
RYDER
Yeah, and get yourself some
colours, fool. And a haircut -
it's embarrassing to be seen with
you!
Ryder (BOSS)
Ryder (MISSION)
Ryder is in his house. CJ enters.
RYDER
Hey, man, what you want?
CJ
Seeing my homie. What's up with
you?
RYDER
Yeah, homie, yeah yeah. It's good
to see you back.
CJ
No homie love? No hug?
RYDER
Oh, for sure, for sure my nigga,
my bad. What's crackin' with you?
CJ
Hey, man, what you strapped for?
RYDER
Man, some pizza place keeps
painting over our hit up, man!
That shit is beautiful. Teach the
owner a lesson. He's fucking with
Grove Street. You down?
CJ
I'm always down.
RYDER
Ahhh, yeah... Let's go, bitch.
///MISSION\\\
CJ has just walked out of the barbers, Ryder is outside.
RYDER
(one of several phrases)
Shit! I told you he was crazy!
Man, you jacked up!
(always the same phrase)
Man, what's this? Shit looks
ridiculous. no respect for the
'hood, all clean and shit. You're
looking too skinny, CJ. Go and get
us something to eat. I'm gonna
finish this. Then I'm going to
take care of business.
///MISSION\\\
CJ is ordering some food, Ryder walks up to the counter
holding a gun.
RYDER
Give up the money! This is a raid!
PIZZA CO. EMPLOYEE
Ryder! Not this again!
RYDER
It ain't me, fool.
PIZZA CO. EMPLOYEE
No one else is that small! I feel
sorry for your dad!
CJ
Shit, you crazy! Let's get up
outta here!
RYDER
Same old CJ! Busta! Straight
busta!
Pizza Co. employee fires a gun towards CJ.
RYDER
Oh, shit! RUN!
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Ryder are outside Ryder's house.
RYDER
Better drop by and see Sweet. He's
been yapping on about that
graffiti, too. Later, homie.
Sweet (BOSS)
Tagging Up Turf (MISSION)
Sweet and Big Smoke are playing basketball in Sweet's yard.
SWEET
C'mon fat boy. C'mon fat boy. Fat
boy - look at you, look at...
BIG SMOKE
Yeah, yeah, watch out. Fool...
Watch this, watch this... Ah ha ha
ha! Bam!
CJ walks into the yard.
SWEET
Look who's here, it's running man.
What, you think you back on the
set?
CJ
I told you that, bro.
SWEET
Your word don't mean shit around
here.
CJ
C'mon, man, gimme a break.
SWEET
We gotta go hit up the 'hood.
BIG SMOKE
Hey, CJ.
SWEET
Let them know you're back on the
set. The Johnson brothers are
rolling again. Take this paint and
go hit shit up. Start with our own
set first.
BIG SMOKE
Later on, we'll spread out and
take the whole 'hood back.
SWEET
You already spreading out, fat
man. Now let's play. Let's see
what you got, pork chop!
CJ walks out of the yard, Sweet follows him.
SWEET
Hey wait up.
CJ
Thought you'd hang with your
brother, huh?
SWEET
Aw, ease up, little man, c'mon,
it's been difficult. You wanna
drive?
CJ
Yeah, for sure.
///MISSION\\\
CJ parks the car, CJ and Sweet get out and head towards a tag
under the bridge.
SWEET
Watch for those rollers as I tag
this up.
Sweet sprays over a Ballas tag.
SWEET
There's another two Balla tags in
the 'hood.
///MISSION\\\
CJ pulls up and gets out of the car.
SWEET
You hit this up here, and I'll go
up and do another 'hood.
///MISSION\\\
Sweet pulls up in the car.
SWEET
CARL, QUICK, GET IN!
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Sweet are in Grove Street.
SWEET
Like riding a bike, ain't it, boy?
CJ
Yeah, it all comes back.
SWEET
How you doin' on the feddy?
CJ
I'm kinda short, you know.
C.R.A.S.H. took all my paper, man,
left me with nothing but small
change...
SWEET
Here, get yourself a beer or
something. I'll catch up with you.
Sweet (BOSS)
Cleaning The Hood (MISSION)
Big Smoke, Sweet and Ryder are in Sweet's house.
BIG SMOKE
(to Sweet)
Hey, you gotta keep it real, man.
SWEET
Man, nobody give a shit about the
'hood.
BIG SMOKE
I do!
SWEET
All they do is sell yay and ruin
the place. No crack ever made a
gang tight.
BIG SMOKE
I don't know, man.
CJ enters.
CJ
Whassup, ya'll?
SWEET
Whassup, CJ?
RYDER
What's cracking?
SWEET
Man, all they care about is
smoking and money.
BIG SMOKE
You can't knock a homie's hustle,
Sweet.
SWEET
Them marks ain't soldiers. They're
idiots trying to be business men.
BIG SMOKE
Yeah, but they're down with us,
man.
SWEET
All they down with is money. CJ -
go down there and show these fools
you mean business. these chumps
from the Ballas are sweating the
homies. Go put pressure on them.
Just do it.
CJ
We been putting time in the 'hood,
but we gotta get the homies back
together, like the old days.
SWEET
Yeah, you right! So you and Ryder
go handle your business!
(to Big Smoke)
Man, they'd slang to their own
Momma. They don't care about
nothing.
BIG SMOKE
You're naïve, my friend. We gotta
keep our focus.
CJ and Ryder are walking out of Sweet's house.
CJ
We need some back up. You seen B
Dup?
RYDER
Nah, but him and the homeboy Bear,
they'd be good to have on our
side.
CJ
Oh! Big Bear? Yeah, them base
slangers going to be sorry now.
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Ryder are in B Dup's hall.
RYDER
Hey, slow down, fool. You don't
even know which door it is.
CJ
Whatever, man. This it?
RYDER
Yeah, this is it right here.
CJ knocks on door.
CJ
Open up! You sure he still live
here?
RYDER
Fool, I told you this it.
CJ bangs again.
CJ
Open up!
B DUP
(from behind the door)
Who the fuck is it?
(opens door)
CJ? What the fuck you want? Get
the fuck outta here.
CJ
Wait, hold up, man. What happened
to 4 life, nigga?
B DUP
The only thing that matters is the
'hood, homie, but you'll never
understand what getting this money
is like. You know what, man? Get
the fuck outta here before you be
laying on your back. Big Bear,
come check this fool.
CJ
Hey, Bear? Big Bear, that's you?
Hey, you still from the 'hood,
homie, or what?
B DUP
Nah, the only thing Bear give a
fuck about is smoking and keeping
my house clean. Ain't that right,
Big Bear?
BIG BEAR
Hell yeah.
B DUP
Hell yeah, what?
BIG BEAR
Hell, yeah, sir!
B DUP
Now go make that mother-fucking
toilet sparkle.
CJ
Oh - no, man... Bear! Come on!
BIG BEAR
Everyone likes to party sometimes,
CJ. I'll see you around.
B DUP
Stay the fuck from around here -
punk!
CJ
Hey, nigga, fuck you!
CJ and Ryder walk out of B Dup's front door.
RYDER
Damn - this shit's fucked up.
CJ
I see what you mean now, man. If
crack can do that to Big Bear,
turn him into a base slave, the
average mother-fucker ain't got a
chance.
RYDER
Damn dope fiends and drug addicts
everywhere in this city. Piss me
off.
CJ
Looks like it's up to us then.
///MISSION\\\
CJ pulls the car up near a crack dealer.
RYDER
Hey, check it out! Somebody's
selling to one of the homies!
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Ryder are looking down on the crack dealer.
RYDER
Hey, I know this cat! He a punk,
used to run with a Front Yard
Balla OG from Idlewood. I know his
place, it's just across the tracks
there. Let's check it out!
CJ
Eh, ain't that Front Yard turf?
RYDER
Man, are you a busta?
CJ
No, I'm down, homie!
///MISSION\\\
CJ pulls up outside of the Crack Den.
RYDER
Ooo-eee! Man, you can smell a
crack den a mile away!
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Ryder enter the Crack Den.
RYDER
Good afternoon, Balla dope
pushers! Grove Street OG's come to
do damage!
Balla
Fuck them Grove Street fools!
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Ryder are in Grove Street.
RYDER
Now that the base ain't getting
pushed up in their faces... Maybe
these fools should be up for some
real bangin'!
CJ
Yeah, Grove gonna get back on its
feet now for sure though.
RYDER
Later, homie.
Sweet (BOSS)
Drive-Thru (MISSION)
CJ, Ryder, Big Smoke and Sweet are leaving Sweet's house.
CJ
What's happening with you, Ryder?
BIG SMOKE
Respect has to be earned, Sweet -
just like money.
SWEET
So what you saying? You don't
respect me?
BIG SMOKE
What I'm saying is...
SWEET
Speak up, nigga!
BIG SMOKE
I'm hungry!
CJ
Oh, man! Shit... Hey, what's going
on?
BIG SMOKE
Man cannot live on bread alone. I
know. I've tried that shit. Carl,
you look a little thin, man. You
gotta be hungry, man.
CJ
Yeah, I could eat.
RYDER
Man, what you fools trying to eat?
What about some tacos?
BIG SMOKE
Tacos? Again? Hell no. Chicken,
man. No discussion.
RYDER
Man, I don't want no chicken...
///MISSION\\\
CJ, Sweet, Big Smoke and Ryder enter the drive-thru at
Cluckin' Bell.
CLUCKIN' BELL EMPLOYEE
Can I take your order, please?
BIG SMOKE
Carl, what do you want? You gotta
eat to keep your strength up, man.
CJ
Hey, I'll take a number 9 - fat
boy.
RYDER
Gimme a number 9, just like his.
SWEET
Let me get a number 6 with extra
dip.
BIG SMOKE
I'll have two number 9s, a number
9 large, a number 6 with extra
dip, a number 7, two number 45s,
one with cheese, and a large soda.
CJ
Hey, sorry, Bro, you know I gotta
know about Moms.
SWEET
I know CJ, I know. I mean I'm just
trying not to think about it, is
all. I mean, I didn't even know
she was hit until it was all
over...
BIG SMOKE
Yeah, right, right, right, right,
right. Let's eat.
RYDER
Hey, don't we got beef around
here? We been getting into it with
these fools.
BIG SMOKE
I can't stand cold food. unlike
you, I ain't never ate from a
trash can.
RYDER
Oh, shit - trash can bitch!
BIG SMOKE
Pass me my food.
RYDER
Hey, hey look - Kilo Trays scoping
us out!
SWEET
Damn, Ryder, you're a jinx!
CJ
Shit, them mother-fuckers headed
to the 'hood!
SWEET
DRIVE-BY!
///MISSION\\\
The car pulls up outside Sweet's house, all four homies are in
it.
BIG SMOKE
That's one up for the Grove!
RYDER
Say what, Smoke? All you managed
to do was eat my damn food up!
BIG SMOKE
Yeah, it was gettin' cold!
SWEET
Y'all comin' in for a beer?
BIG SMOKE
Nah baby, I need to get back to
the crib. CJ, gimme a ride?
CJ
Alright Smoke, let's go. See y'all
later.
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Big Smoke pull up outside Big Smoke's house.
BIG SMOKE
Hey thanks, Carl. Hey, I've missed
having you around, baby.
CJ
Thanks, man. I wish Sweet thought
like that.
BIG SMOKE
He don't mean it, CJ. He's still
real tor' up about your Moms, man.
Here, get yourself a little smokey
smoke on Smoke, and relax, homie.
Sweet (BOSS)
Nines And AK's (MISSION)
Big Smoke, Ryder and Sweet are in Sweet's house playing a dice
game.
BIG SMOKE
Gimme 15, mother-fucker.
RYDER
I'll right it down in a second. I
ain't going to pencil whip you,
fat sucker. Let me play first.
CJ enters.
CJ
A'ight, whassup?
BIG SMOKE
Whassup, man?
SWEET
What's cracking.
CJ
Who's winning?
BIG SMOKE
Who do you think, huh? Me!
RYDER
That does it. That's game null and
void, mother-fuckers!
CJ
So, what kind of guns we working
with now?
RYDER
One-times came through, raided the
spot. We ain't got shit now.
CJ
Well what you going to do if
Ballas roll through, throw shoes
at them? Say, what happened to
Emmet?
SWEET
Emmet? Shit, gangstas these days
got Mac's, AK's and all kind of
stuff. Emmet, on the other hand,
ain't got shit.
CJ
Well, until we get that plug, we
gotta deal with a cat that always
been there for us.
BIG SMOKE
Emmet's Seville Boulevard
Families, we ain't too close these
days, but nonetheless, I'll take
you to see him. Get ourselves
strapped up. Come on, man.
///MISSION\\\
Emmet is in his yard. CJ and Big Smoke enter.
BIG SMOKE
That's my man right there, you
know what I'm saying?
Emmet accidentally fires his gun.
EMMET
Hey! Who shot at me? What you kids
want?
CJ
Hey, hey, pops, hey, what's
happenin'?
EMMET
Aren't you Beverly Johnson's boy?
CJ
That's right.
EMMET
Brian! Say, ain't you dead?
CJ
No, Emmet - the other one. Carl.
EMMET
I'm sorry about Beverly.
BIG SMOKE
That's why we're here, sir. We
want to get the people who did it.
EMMET
Well, you've come to the right
place. Try anything you like, boy.
Big Smoke and CJ look inside a bin.
BIG SMOKE
Man, look at this old shit.
Big Smoke is preparing to shoot a glass bottle.
BIG SMOKE
Die, little glass Balla fool!
Big Smoke shoots the glass bottle.
///MISSION\\\
Big Smoke shoots three glass bottles.
BIG SMOKE
Shit, I'm the best there ever was!
///MISSION\\\
Big Smoke rolls and shoots a glass bottle.
BIG SMOKE
Cap your ass!
Big Smoke shoots another glass bottle.
BIG SMOKE
And your ass!
Big Smoke shoots another glass bottle.
BIG SMOKE
You want some too?
Big Smoke shoots another glass bottle.
BIG SMOKE
Ice cold, baby!
Big Smoke shoots another glass bottle.
BIG SMOKE
I knew I was the chosen one!
CJ
Oh, man, check out 'Special Agent
Big Smoke'!
///MISSION\\\
All three are still in Emmet's yard.
BIG SMOKE
Damn, you a killer baby, ice cold!
But remember something, real
strength comes from within, my
brother.
EMMET
Listen to the boy.
BIG SMOKE
Yeah, I guess Liberty didn't
soften you none, huh? Hey look,
let's split. Hey, I'll see you
around Emmet.
EMMET
I'm 100% behind you boys. But
remember this, you didn't get 'em
from me. And remember this. Emmet
is the place for guns! I've always
got high quality merchandise. And
I've been proudly serving the
community for over 30 years!
BIG SMOKE
Crazy old fool. Hey look, you
drive, man.
CJ
I seen newer cannons than this
strap in a museum. Where we goin'?
BIG SMOKE
Man, I'm real tired, dude, drop me
off at my crib, baby.
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Big Smoke are outside Big Smoke's house.
BIG SMOKE
Thanks, CJ, I'll see you around.
CJ
Later, Smoke.
CJ's phone rings.
CJ
Speak.
Sweet (BOSS)
Drive-By (MISSION)
Ryder and Sweet are outside Sweet's house.
RYDER
I can drive as well as CJ, man,
I'm telling you.
CJ comes along.
RYDER
Hey, homie, whassup?
CJ
Hey, what you saying about me,
fool?
SWEET
Whassup, man?
RYDER
I'm saying that the East Coast
made you drive like a idiot, fool!
Man, you always crashing cars and
shit. And for some reason, now you
back, all it is, is 'CJ drive
here, CJ drive there'. Bullshit!
SWEET
Man, why don't you take it easy.
RYDER
No disrespect, man, but you can't
drive for shit!
CJ
Thanks, man. No, no, no, say what
you really mean.
SWEET
You such a good gunman, homie, you
gotta ride shotgun. Show CJ what's
cracking.
RYDER
Hey, you know something - you're
right. Yeah, CJ, you can drive,
homie.
SWEET
He's trippin'.
///MISSION\\\
CJ pulls the car up near some Ballas. Sweet, Ryder and Big
Smoke are also in the car.
SWEET
Yeah - Ballas turf. You dogs
ready?
CJ
Yeah, for sure, I'm ready.
SWEET
Carl, just concentrate on the
driving and we'll take care of the
shooting.
RYDER
Listen to the man, fool! And try
not to park us up a tree or
something.
SWEET
Yeah if the car stops, we're dead
meat.
///MISSION\\\
CJ pulls the car up outside Sweet's house, the other three
homies are also are in it.
SWEET
You're down with the Grove and the
Ballas know it, so watch yourself
from now on, CJ.
CJ
Yeah, yeah, for sure, you know
that. I'll see y'all later.
BIG SMOKE
Here, take this, go get yourself
some beers.
Sweet (BOSS)
Sweet's Girl (MISSION)
CJ enters Sweet's house.
CJ
Sweet, Smoke? Shit, where are all
the homies at? ...Fuck they at?
Damn! Fuck it!
CJ walks outside Sweet's house.
CJ's phone rings.
CJ
Eh.
CUT TO Sweet and his girl crouching behind a house.
SWEET
Carl! No time to chit-chat! Been
seeing a Seville Families bia.
Word got out on the street and the
boys don't like it. I'm pinned
down in the Seville 'hood, and we
need a ride out of here, pronto.
CJ
Oh for sure, man. Hang in there!
SWEET
Drive by Emmet's and get heated.
///MISSION\\\
CJ pulls up in a car, Sweet and his girl get in.
SWEET
Seville Families on our case,
nigga!
///MISSION\\\
CJ pulls the car up outside Sweet's house. CJ, Sweet and his
girl get out.
SWEET
(to his girl)
I'll see you inside, baby.
(to CJ)
Man, this set tripping is killing
the Families. You did good back
there!
CJ
Hey, I'm a Johnson boy!
SWEET
Hey, I got unfinished business.
Big love.
Sweet (BOSS)
Cesar Vialpando (MISSION)
Sweet and Kendl are in Sweet's house.
SWEET
I'm tired of you not listening to
me, girl.
KENDL
And I'm tired of you acting like
you own me. I can see who I want
to see.
SWEET
It just ain't right you seeing
some cholo mother-fucker.
KENDL
Ohhh, what - a no good narrow
minded hypocrite gang banger
telling me what is right and what
is wrong. Let me guess, Sweet -
senseless killing right, but a
boyfriend from the Southside,
wrong?
SWEET
Some things ain't just meant to
happen. I mean what if ya'll have
kids. Leroy Hernandez? That don't
sound good, girl.
KENDL
His name ain't Hernandez.
SWEET
Well, Leroy Lopez then.
KENDL
Or Lopez, either, you racist fuck!
That ain't how Moms raised us.
SWEET
I ain't racist. I just know how
they feel about you. And look at
you, you're dressed like a hooker!
CJ enters.
KENDL
Oh and I guess you two would know
what a hooker look like, huh.
CJ
You say it like it's a bad thing!
SWEET and KENDL
Shut up, Carl.
SWEET
I'm just trying to protect you.
KENDL
For what, so I can date one of
your mindless friends? I don't
think so.
SWEET
Don't say a word, Carl. just
follow your sister, before you see
another dead sibling. Then you'll
know exactly what my problem is.
She's meeting him at some cholo
car club.
///MISSION\\\
CJ is outside the mod garage in Willowfield. A mechanic is in
a low-rider.
MECHANIC
So, you must be Sweet's bro', huh?
He phoned ahead, said you might be
looking for a car that bounces.
Well I owe him big from way back,
so here, this should do the trick.
Custom springs should see you
hopping all the way home! Try her
out. Very popular with the eses -
they compete in these things. You
can usually find them over by
Unity Station. If you ever want to
mod your ride, come back any time,
man.
///MISSION\\\
CJ parks his low-rider at Unity Station, an ese comes along.
ESE
You up for a bounce, homie?
///MISSION\\\
After CJ wins the contest the ese comes over.
ESE
I've seen worse, but you did
alright.
Kendl comes over and hugs CJ.
KENDL
That shit was alright! Eee! So
since when has my brother been a
low-rider?
CJ
Since Sweet told me to keep an eye
on you, make sure that whatever
you're dating don't get you in no
trouble.
Cesar comes over.
CESAR
Que honda? Nice hopping, holmes.
KENDL
Well you just shook that
whatever's hand.
Cesar hugs Kendl.
CJ
Hey, get your dirty hands off my
sister!
KENDL
Carl! What is wrong with you?
CESAR
Holmes, you acting like she's your
woman, eh? She's with me, cabron.
So chill the fuck out. I treat her
good.
KENDL
(to Cesar)
Look, baby, don't start no shit.
Don't make it worse, OK?
Two eses come over.
ESE 1
Horale vato. Who's this pendejo?
KENDL
What? Dickhead? This dickhead is
my brother!
CESAR
East, holmes. He ain't from
nowhere. He's cool.
ESE 1
Well I say he ain't cool, holmes.
I say he thinks he's gangster,
man, and I don't like it. So you
know what you can do for me, man?
You can fuck off, pendejo, and
then maybe we cool.
CJ
No, you fuck off, I'm talking to
my sister.
KENDL
Carl!
CESAR
Jose, c'mon, holmes, I can handle
this. This is important to me.
ESE 1
Horale pendejo you lucky. That's
right, you lucky Cesar's spoken
for you. Vamanos muchachos.
(to ese 2)
Let's get some fucking beer, huh.
I'm thirsty.
The two eses go.
KENDL
Carl! What the hell were you
thinking?
CESAR
(to Kendl)
Look, baby, go get in the car, OK,
I'm gonna speak to Carl.
Kendl goes.
CESAR
Look, holmes, I love your sister,
I honour her, she's my girl for
life. This is why I stop you from
being skinned just then. You got a
problem with me, fine, we don't
have to be friends. But Kendl,
she's happy with me, carnal.
CJ
Yeah, OK, I guess we're cool. For
now.
CESAR
Cesar Vialpando.
CJ
Carl Johnson - CJ.
CESAR
Cabron! You got a nice ride there,
holmes. Maybe we'll get to kick it
again soon, eh?
CJ
Yeah. Maybe.
Big Smoke (BOSS)
OG Loc (MISSION)
CJ knocks on Big Smoke's door. Big Smoke and Sweet come from
around the back of Big Smoke's house talking between
themselves.
SWEET
Yeah, you know Jeffrey's been
somebody's bitch for the past
three weeks, right?
BIG SMOKE
I know!
CJ notices Sweet and Big Smoke and vice versa.
CJ
Hey.
BIG SMOKE
Hey, CJ!
SWEET
Hey, what's up, CJ?
CJ
Whassup?
BIG SMOKE
Whassup, man? Wanna go to prison?
CJ
What?
SWEET
Nah... To pick up Jeffrey. He's
touching down today. You wanna
roll?
CJ
Yeah, for sure. What's Jeffrey
doing locked up, anyway?
SWEET
We'll talk about that later, man.
Let's roll, we're late.
///MISSION\\\
CJ, Sweet and Big Smoke pull up outside the prison. OG Loc is
waiting for them.
BIG SMOKE
Hey, there that fool go.
SWEET
Look at this fool, man...
Perpetrating like he bangin'...
BIG SMOKE
...Think he hard... I know that
fool can't be serious.
CJ
Hey, what's happening with you,
Jeffrey?
OG LOC
Hey, man, it's OG Loc, homie - OG
Loc!
CJ
My bad. How was it, though, homie?
OG LOC
Man, what you think? How was it...
BIG SMOKE
(to OG Loc)
Hey, chill out, dude. So what you
want to do now?
OG LOC
Man, I gotta kill some cholo
mother-fucker. He was dissin' me,
man!
BIG SMOKE
Hey Jeffrey, I thought you was
going to, uh, college.
OG LOC
Man, fuck you! Mother-fucker done
stole my rhymes. He's in East
Flores. Hey, gimme a strap.
SWEET
Man, why don't you stall us out
with that shit and get in the car.
Fool.
///MISSION\\\
CJ, OG Loc, Big Smoke and Sweet pull up outside Freddy's
house.
OG LOC
Man, this is the spot!
CJ
Ain't this a Vagos' 'hood?
OG LOC
Man, I don't give a shit, I'm
gangsta!
BIG SMOKE
C'mon, let's leave Loc to deal
with Casanova.
CJ
Hey, I'll stick with Jeff - I
mean, Loc!
SWEET
OK, cool. I'll see you guys back
on the set.
///MISSION\\\
CJ and OG Loc go up to Freddy's door.
OG LOC
Freddy! I've come for you, you
mother-fucker!
CJ
Hey, Loc, hold up!
FREDDY
Jeffrey, you got the wrong idea,
man - that was just a prison
thing! I got plenty of muchachas
on the outside, I don't need your
scrawny ass!
OG LOC
Man, ignore him, CJ, I don't know
what he talking about. Hey, yo',
gimme back my rhymes you thief,
I'm gangsta!
FREDDY
You dropped the soap, sugar, I
don't know nothing about any
rhymes!
Freddy comes out of the back door, hops onto a motorbike and
rides away.
OG LOC
Hey, hey! Mother-fucker's making a
run for it!
CJ
Hey Loc, get back here, nigga you
crazy!
OG LOC
Eh yo', back off me CJ, I gotta
protect my rep'!
///MISSION\\\
CJ and OG Loc are standing over Freddy's dead body.
OG LOC
Don't you say a damn thing, CJ.
CJ
Was you lonely, Loc? Hey, I like a
nice moustache myself!
OG LOC
I keep it real, unlike you fake
ass mother-fuckers.
CJ
C'mon, gangsta. Let's get back to
the Grove.
OG LOC
Nah, I can't, I gotta go and sign
in for this damn job!
CJ
Whatever you want. You want a ride
anyway?
OG LOC
Sure thing. Let's roll.
///MISSSION\\\
CJ and OG Loc pull up outside the Burger Shot.
OG LOC
Thanks for the ride, CJ. Don't be
a stranger, fool.
CJ
Yeah, for sure, I'll see you
around.
OG LOC
Like a quarter pound! Later.
Big Smoke (BOSS)
Running Dog (MISSION)
CJ walks up to Big Smoke's door. Tenpenny and Pulaski are just
leaving Big Smoke's house.
TENPENNY
(to CJ)
BOO!
CJ
Asshole.
TENPENNY
Yo Carl, see you around...
CJ
(to himself)
Fuck they doing over here, anyway?
Punk-ass police.
Big Smoke emerges from his house.
BIG SMOKE
Those nosey mother-fuckers won't
leave me alone! Think I'm Mr. Big,
or something. But I don't tell
them shit. For me, it's all about
my homeboy, Carl.
CJ
Yeah, whatever you say.
BIG SMOKE
Yo, the gang's real important,
CJ, you know that! You down to
represent, baby?
CJ
Yeah.
BIG SMOKE
Look, my cousin is coming into
town from Mexico, I gots to go
scoop her up.
CJ
Alright then, c'mon.
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Big Smoke pull up alongside two eses.
BIG SMOKE
OK, my cousin Mary's in there,
sweet sticky bud fresh off the
plantation. Here, pull up here,
let me do the talking.
CJ
Man, I shoulda known.
BIG SMOKE
(to the eses)
Hey - excuse me, Jose, yo soy El
Grando Smokio, and I want that
grass? Comprende?
ESE 1
Eh, fuck you cabron.
CJ
What?
BIG SMOKE
Now that ain't nice. Coughio up el
weedo, before I blow your brains
out all over the patio.
ESE 1
Chinga a tu madre, pendejo.
CJ
Man, let me get the heater on
this...
Big Smoke sneaks out of the car with a baseball bat.
CJ
Get him, Smoke. Yeah, yeah, you go
get that shit, nigga...
Big Smoke hits ese 1 over the head with the baseball bat.
ESE 1
Damn!
BIG SMOKE
Yeah, mother-fucker, Big Smoke!
Remember that name!
CJ and Big Smoke run after ese 2.
BIG SMOKE
We gotta stick with him!
Big Smoke stops.
BIG SMOKE
I ain't built for this shit!
///MISSION\\\
Wrong Side Of The Tracks (MISSION)
CJ is outside Big Smoke's house. Tenpenny and Pulaski come out
of Big Smoke's garage with Big Smoke still inside it.
TENPENNY
Hey, Carl, keeping busy, I hope.
CJ
You know me, Officer Tenpenny.
TENPENNY
Yeah, I know you, Carl. I know
everything about you.
CJ
Don't touch me. Get you pig hands
off me...
TENPENNY
That's right, Carl, I got my eye
on you.
CJ
And? Like I give a fuck.
PULASKI
We're watching you, Carl!
Pulaski throws his cigarette at CJ.
CJ
Mother-fucker!
Tenpenny and Pulaski leave. Big Smoke comes out of his garage.
BIG SMOKE
What was that all about, baby?
CJ
You tell me.
BIG SMOKE
Aw hell, man, they got their nose
in everything. Can't shit without
Tenpenny taking an interest. The
hell with him.
CJ
Yeah, I guess. What's really up?
BIG SMOKE
Hey, thinking of taking a little
ride. Three deep mentioned a
little something that might put us
deeper in the game.
CJ
A'ight, I'm down.
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Big Smoke pull up at Unity Station.
CJ
What we looking for, Smoke?
BIG SMOKE
Some Vagos cats meeting some San
Fierro Rifa, cutting some kind of
deal.
CJ
San Fierro? I thought Northern
Mexicans don't mix with Los Santos
eses.
BIG SMOKE
Shit, you got me.
CJ
That look like them!
BIG SMOKE
Mother-fuckers clocked us!
Four eses jump on top of a train leaving the station.
BIG SMOKE
We got to get these fools!
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Big Smoke are outside Big Smoke's house.
BIG SMOKE
Hey, you better clear out, CJ. I
don't want those C.R.A.S.H. fools
trying to pull you into some shit!
CJ
Alright, homie. You be careful
with those cats. I'm gonna see you
later.
Big Smoke (BOSS)
Just Business (MISSION)
CJ walks up to Big Smoke's garage but doesn't see him in there
so he knocks on his back door. Big Smoke pops up from behind
his car in the garage.
BIG SMOKE
Hey, CJ, baby, whassup man?
CJ
What's happening, Smoke?
BIG SMOKE
Chillin'. Wanna go for a ride?
CJ
Yeah.
BIG SMOKE
You drive.
CJ
A'ight.
BIG SMOKE
We're going downtown.
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Big Smoke are walking up to the building in Downtown.
BIG SMOKE
Look Carl, before I walk in there
I just need to know you down with
this shit, man.
CJ
Look, Smoke, we go way back. We
Groves, man!
BIG SMOKE
That's what I'm talking about,
that's my dog! Hey look, if you
hear shit start to pop off, come
in there blasting, a'ight?
CJ
I'm down, dog.
(to a woman sat at a
table)
Hey, baby, want company?
BIG SMOKE
(from inside the building)
Mother-fuckers!
CJ runs into the building.
BIG SMOKE
CJ, get in here - oh there you
are!
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Big Smoke jump on a motorbike.
BIG SMOKE
Time to return the favour baby,
get on!
///MISSION\\\
Big Smoke is driving the motorbike with CJ on the back. A
truck bursts through the barriers on a bridge and lands just
behind them.
///MISSION\\\
With Big Smoke still driving and CJ still on the back of
the motorbike, Big Smoke drives onto the ramp of the truck and
goes over it just before it explodes.
///MISSION\\\
Big Smoke brings the motorbike to a halt in a car park.
CJ
We lost 'em, Smoke! Man, we better
split up.
BIG SMOKE
I'll take it ---
(the motorbike)
--- another block and dump it.
Man, that was some crazy shit back
there!
CJ
Yeah, for sure. Listen, we can't
hang around here - I'll see you
later, homie.
BIG SMOKE
Much love, baby!
Ryder (BOSS)
Home Invasion (MISSION)
Ryder is digging in his garden. CJ enters.
RYDER
(to himself)
Damn! Where the fuck...?
CJ
Man, what you doing? Digging
graves?
RYDER
Damn, where the fuck did I put it,
man?
CJ
Put what, nigga?
RYDER
Man, the fucking water. I need a
little something before I go deal
with things.
CJ
What things, fool?
RYDER
My homie, LB - he told me about
this army mother-fucker who's got
all the guns we need. Not that old
school Emmet bullshit neither!
CJ
I'm down. Let's roll.
RYDER
Yeah, you always down, homie.
Apart from when you ain't around
here.
CJ
Nigga, fuck you.
RYDER
Damn! Man, you want some of this?
(his joint)
CJ
No, man - I'm cool on that. Where
we going?
RYDER
This till overlooking East Beach.
Better yet, we better wait until
it's dark, catch the mother-fucker
while he in bed!
CJ
Yeah - I'm feeling that.
RYDER
Yeah, yeah, that's it, that's
it... C'mon, nigga, what you
waiting for? Look!
Ryder points to the ground.
CJ
Let it go.
CUT TO CJ and Ryder getting in a Boxville van.
RYDER
Get in fool!
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Ryder pull up outside the house in East Beach.
RYDER
Let's storm the place.
CJ
Hold up. Let's creep in, grab the
guns, and bounce out.
RYDER
Yeah, yeah, I got it - ninja
style! Right...
(to the man in the house)
Come out you old bastard!
CJ
Shut up!
RYDER
He can't stop me, you busta, Carl!
OK, fool, in you go - I'll keep
watch.
///MISSION\\\
CJ gets back into the Boxville van.
CJ
Let's get up out of here.
Ryder gets into the Boxville van.
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Ryder are just coming out of the lockup garage.
RYDER
You see, I told you! Simple!
CJ
Yeah that was a real breeze.
RYDER
Say, CJ - you gotta get it in your
head that this is everyday shit,
homie.
CJ
OK, look, I'm tired, I'll see you
later.
RYDER
A'ight, holmes. Just think about
what I said.
Ryder (BOSS)
Catalyst (MISSION)
CJ walks into Ryder's house, Ryder is cooking up some drugs.
CJ
Hey, Ryder? What the hell you
doing?
RYDER
Nigga, I couldn't find that wet I
buried, so I'm making my own. It's
easy, fool.
CJ
Oooh! That's strong. Man, don't
do that! You'll sauté the both of
us.
Tenpenny, Pulaski and Hernandez enter.
TENPENNY
Morning, boys.
RYDER
Man, who you calling a boy, fool?
TENPENNY
What should I call you? Midget?
PULASKI
How about prick?
TENPENNY
Prick...
PULASKI
Yeah, prick works.
RYDER
Man, fuck you.
TENPENNY
Bitch, get outta here.
Tenpenny takes a smell of what Ryder has been cooking.
TENPENNY
Mmm... Smells good. What's
cooking? Where's mine?
RYDER
Man, just chill out, a'ight. Move.
Ryder hands Tenpenny a bottle of his brew.
RYDER
Here. Don't be sweating me,
mother-fucker.
TENPENNY
Mmm, my wife loves this stuff,
man. Anyway, there's a train gonna
make an unscheduled stop just down
the way. It's got a, how you say,
'little something something' on
board for you boys. Square
business, man.
PULASKI
Catch you later, homeboys.
RYDER
Asshole.
TENPENNY
Oh Carl, try not to kill any more
respected police officers. Please?
PULASKI
Crime has certainly gone up since
you got back, kid.
CJ
Just doing my part for the
community.
TENPENNY
Your train's gonna be there in
five.
///MISSION\\\
Some Ballas drive up to the train where CJ and Ryder are.
///MISSION\\\
CJ climbs onto the back of the train. The train sets off.
CJ
Damn, what is that?
RYDER
Chill out, fool, we're gonna be
right behind you!
///MISSION\\\
CJ gets back in Ryder's car, along with another GSF homie.
RYDER
Hop in the car and stamp out,
fool!
///MISSION\\\
CJ drives the car into Grove Street and backs it up into
Ryder's Driveway, still with Ryder in the car.
RYDER
Damn, homie, your stuff was tight!
CJ
You too, homie!
RYDER
LB's coming over to stash the
shit.
CJ
OK, later then.
RYDER
For life CJ, for life - you heard?
Ryder (BOSS)
Robbing Uncle Sam (MISSION)
Ryder is smoking a joint in his garden. CJ enters.
CJ
Hey, Ryder! This nigga's loaded...
Ryder!
RYDER
Yeeaahh, CJ... Hey, CJ, tell me
why I didn't finish high school.
CJ
Because you been dealing drugs,
man, since the age of ten!
RYDER
No, that ain't it.
CJ
Because you went and put hands on
that teacher for wearing Ballas
colours!
RYDER
No, that ain't it either. It's
'cause I'm too intelligent for
this shit, man. I am the real
deal, fool. Oh yeah. A genius.
CJ
Oh, oh yeah...
RYDER
Who has more straps than anybody?
Who has all the straps, huh?
CJ
A man with a lot of guns? Shit, I
give up!
RYDER
The army, my nigga, the army!
Let's go.
CJ
Yeah... Yeah!
Ryder pushes the joint towards CJ's face.
RYDER
Go hit the wet, nigga. Go hit the
wet!
CJ
Get that outta my face, man, you
know I don't fuck with that, man.
C'mon!
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Ryder pull up outside the National Guard Depot.
RYDER
This is the spot - National Guard
Depot.
CJ
Man, this shit look real serious.
Are we up for this?
RYDER
It's National Guard, fool! Weekend
soldiers! Ain't no match for Grove
Street OG's!
///MISSION\\\
CJ puts the sixth and last crate into the van.
RYDER
C'mon, CJ, we got enough! CJ, get
up front and drive us outta here!
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Ryder park the van down an alleyway.
RYDER
That shit was tight!
CJ
Tight? Man, that shit was shit.
RYDER
Man, you say you down for the
homies, but all you do is
complain.
OG Loc (BOSS)
Life's A Beach (MISSION)
CJ is outside the Burger Shot with OG Loc, who is pulling a
mop and bucket.
CJ
Looking real technical, gangsta!
OG LOC
Carl? You ain't run off again yet?
CJ
No, gangsta, I'm here for good.
OG LOC
Yeah? Well, fuck this gig, man.
I'm putting together a listening
party for my album, but first I
need a sound system...
CJ
Hey, I'm down, as long as I don't
have to go to the party.
OG LOC
What you talking about, fool?
Guaranteed I start playing,
everyone'll come through.
CJ
Being real, OG, I really ain't
into rap no more. I'm more into
that hardcore gangsta shit.
OG LOC
Well that's me, homie, that's me!
OG Loc, baby!
CJ
Yeah, yeah, for sure. But I only
like them if they rhyme real
well... Y'know, well... Anyway,
what you want me to steal?
OG LOC
That's what I'm talking about,
love for your homies... Now check
it, I caught me a real fly sound
system cruising through the drive-
thru. I think they headed down to
the beach for a beach party. Now
check this out, I'll roll with
you, and on the way I'll kick a
couple of freestyles...
(rapping)
It's OG Loc in the place, y'all
want to stop me with a gun in your
face, OG! OG!
CJ
Yeah yeah yeah yeah, man, look,
shut the fuck up. Maybe I need to
do this on my own. I believe in
you. Gangsta 4 life, homie. 4
life!
OG LOC
Yeah - for life, homie...
///MISSION\\\
CJ drives the van into a garage.
Madd Dogg's Rhymes (MISSION)
OG Loc is in the Burger Shot bathroom with a mop and bucket.
OG LOC
(rapping)
Hey hey hey, it's OG Loc, homie,
and I'm gonna kick it a little
something like this... Hey yo',
when I came through up in the
place, You don't want me to call
with a gun in your face... I feel
it harder, Than anybody in the
world could do, Just like a...
A man comes out of the toilet cubicle.
MAN
Yo'! That shit sucks! Damn!
The man goes.
OG LOC
Damn - my shit was whack!
CJ enters.
CJ
Hey, what's happening, Loc?
OG LOC
Hey, Carl - what up, man?
CJ
Hey, dude - you ever thought about
getting a writer to help you out
with this shit?
OG LOC
Yeah, I did. But who, homie, who?
CJ
Shit, I ain't in the rap game, you
know, that ain't my thing. But
we'll have to think about
something. Man.
OG LOC
How about if I get somebody to
write something for me, only they
didn't know about it?
CJ
What?
OG LOC
I think I just might have found a
ghost writer. I'll become the
reciter, all nighter, all righter!
Madd Dogg's rhyme book! From his
home in the hills!
CJ
Madd Dogg's rhyme book?
OG LOC
Man, you said you'd help, Carl.
C'mon, man.
(rapping)
I'm hot, Like fire, All nighter,
All righter, When I kick it, I
feel I hit it...
CJ
Hey hey hey'ey'ey'ey. I'll do
anything, homie. I swear that. OK?
///MISSION\\\
(On screen) The rhyme book is in Madd Dogg's recording studio.
(On screen) Madd Dogg's personal security are patrolling the
mansion. Do not use any guns on your way to the rhyme book -
you will alert them. Use stealth to steal the rhyme book.
(On screen) The first guard cannot see you. This means you can
sneak up behind him with a melee weapon and perform a stealth
kill.
///MISSION\\\
(On screen) A guard is patrolling the swimming pool area.
Observing his route will allow you to work out how to get
passed him undetected.
///MISSION\\\
(On screen) A guard is coming.
(On screen) Find a suitable place to hide before he spots you.
Look for an area with shadows.
///MISSION\\\
(On screen) If you walk straight past the guard here he will
see you. Try crouching and walking past the bar to remain out
of his line of sight.
A man is playing a computer game.
MAN
This sucks. I mean, how could
Refractions mess up so bad?
Tanner, you suck ass!
///MISSION\\\
CJ is walking up to the Burger Shot. OG Loc is standing
outside it.
CJ
Hey Loc, I got what you wanted.
OG LOC
Holmes, you ice cold, dude!
CJ
Hey, I'll catch you later.
OG LOC
Peace, homie!
OG Loc (BOSS)
Management Issues (MISSION)
CJ is in the Burger Shot.
CJ
Hey, 'scuse me. Loc around here?
BURGER SHOT EMPLOYEE
Whuh? Who? You want fries with
that?
CJ
Loc, is he available for coh-myoo-
nee-kay-shun?
(communication)
BURGER SHOT EMPLOYEE
Who? Loc? Oh you mean Jeffrey!
Yeah, our Appliance Technician
called in sick so Jeff- LOC, he
got promoted.
CJ
So...
BURGER SHOT EMPLOYEE
So, he's out back cleaning the
fryer.
CJ goes out back, were OG Loc is cleaning the fryer.
CJ
Hey, what up, Loc?
OG LOC
CJ. What's up, homie? Hey - my
shit is so tight right now, it's
about to bust!
CJ
So you happy now, homie?
OG LOC
Happy? Man, hell, no. I can't take
this shit much longer. Man, I'm an
artiste! I'd rather be inside!
Man, I can't get a deal for
nothing. Mother-fuckers always
wanna keep a nigga down. And that
Scipio, Madd Dogg's manager, is
putting it on me real heavy, man.
He crampin' my style for real.
CJ
Heavy? Man, he's five foot three.
OG LOC
But that fool strong. Man, we
gotta take him out. He done
blackballed me, man. I can't get
in the game no way. I told you I'm
an artist, a communicator and
nobody can even hear my message.
He's going around, telling
everybody I'm whack.
CJ
Well, he obviously ain't heard
your new shit. That shit is
outrageous.
OG LOC
That's what I'm talking about,
man. Down, with a frown, on the
town, a sad clown.
CJ
Alright, so what you want me to
do?
OG LOC
I want you to take that mother-
fucker out!
CJ
Kill him?
OG LOC
Well, I didn't mean date him.
Listen, he's gonna be attending
some awards ceremony, and that's
the only time he leaves Dogg's
side.
///MISSION\\\
CJ is in one of three parked cars.
MAN
(via radio)
Hey, what kept you? Come on we
need to go and pick up the boss!
CUT TO the Awards Show.
REPORTER
Congratulations on your award, you
must be thrilled!
SCIPIO
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'd like
to thank my fans, my Momma and my
dealer.
Cut back to the three cars.
MAN
(via radio)
Hold position in the middle of the
motorcade until we get to the
Awards Show. Stick close and let's
roll!
///MISSION\\\
CJ is waiting in the car while people are leaving the Awards
Show, Scipio gets in the car, along with a woman.
SCIPIO
Hey, man. Take me back to Dogg's
mansion.
CJ
Not today, asshole. Today we're
taking the scenic route, via the
bottom of the ocean!
///MISSION\\\
The car flies over the edge of the pier, minus CJ.
SCIPIO
(slow-motion voice)
Holy FUUUUUUUUUUCK!
Between missions.
CJ is walking up to the Burger Shot, OG Loc is coming out.
OG LOC
(to somebody in Burger
Shot)
Hey, fuck you, man! And I don't
care what you heard, I ain't
nobody's Ass Technician, bitch!
CJ
Hey, hey, whassup, Loc?
OG LOC
'Technician' ain't gangsta, that's
whassup!
CJ
I heard that!
OG LOC
Listen, Carl. If I'm going back to
a cell, I wanna have a big party
first. This may be my last chance
to get heard.
CJ
OK, so what's the plan?
OG LOC
Well I'm gonna slide back over to
Grove Street and get those sounds
bombastic-fantastic.
CJ
Alright, so what do you want me to
do?
OG LOC
I want you to get ready for the
party! Then get some girls, man!
CJ
OK...
OG LOC
Get some real fly girls, you know
what I'm saying? The ones in
bikinis and shit, in the videos? I
told you, brother, I am the
chronicler of our struggle, the
voice of the Families, like Moses,
only keeping it real. You know
what I'm saying?
OG Loc (BOSS)
House Party (MISSION)
OG Loc is rapping at a party in his house.
OG LOC
Yeah, yeah, yeah... This is me, OG
Loc, in the house, baby... And I'm
gonna... drop it down for all my
real gangsta niggaz... All of my
gangsta bitches...
CJ enters.
OG LOC
(still rapping)
Speaking about gangsta, look at my
man CJ right there - what up,
nigga? What UUUUUUUUPPPP...
CJ
(to Ryder)
...Thought the mother-fucking mic
was broke...
RYDER
Hey, what's up, homie!
CJ
What's up, Ryder.
RYDER
All the homies in the back, man,
away from this whack music.
CJ
Man, I'm furious.
RYDER
C'mon.
OG LOC
(still rapping)
I'm the man in the place, Punch
you in the face, A gun in my
waist... It's Loc, baby! Yo' it's
Loc Loc - it's Loc Loc...
Ryder and CJ go outside into Grove street, where Sweet and
three GSF homies are.
RYDER
Damn, man, his lyrics is horrible!
CJ
That dude need some work, man.
RYDER
Hell, yeah.
SWEET
What up, fellas.
CJ
Hey, what's up with you, baby!
SWEET
So you back on the block, huh?
CJ
Hell, yeah!
SWEET
You a real killer, huh?
RYDER
What he done that I ain't - huh?
SWEET
What you talkin' about, nigga?
CJ
Yeah, relax, man!
A GSF homie pulls up on a bicycle.
HOMIE
Hey, a Ballas posse is about to
run up! They headed up here right
now!
SWEET
Looks like we backed them Ballas
against the wall, huh?
RYDER
Hey, CJ, strap up! It's Grove
Street!
Sweet, Ryder and the three GSF homies run out of OG Loc's
house.
RYDER
I'll go get Smoke and some Grove
boys!
SWEET
OK, get some cars, block the road.
The rest of y'all get heated.
Sweet and a GSF homie block the road with two cars. Two Ballas
cars pull up.
///MISSION\\\
Four more Ballas appear on the bridge.
SWEET
Hey hey, look up, more of them on
the bridge!
///MISSION\\\
More Ballas appear from down the alleyway.
SWEET
Carl! Cover the alleyway!
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Sweet are heading back to OG Loc's party.
SWEET
GROVE IS KING!
CJ
Man, I ain't never seen the Ballas
roll that deep before.
SWEET
Yeah, they heard Carl Johnson was
running with his brother again!
CJ
Yeah, fo' sure.
SWEET
C'mon, let's get back to the
party.
CJ
Shit man, once Loc got off the
mic', then the party got started.
Cesar Vialpando (BOSS)
High Stakes, Low-Rider (MISSION)
CJ walks into Cesar's driveway. Kendl and Cesar are in a low-
rider.
CESAR
Heeeyyy, CJ, you made it!
CJ
What's the bi'ness?
KENDL
Hey CARL!
CJ
Hey, baby.
CESAR
Nice ride, man. That's no
carrucha! You sure you want to
risk that baby?
CJ
Yeah, I'm sure. How much they
talking about?
CESAR
It's hard cash or your pink slip
in the pot. Con Safos, eh. Then
you pull up and race. First past
the post wins, con chota, sin
chota.
CJ
OK, for sure, I'm down.
CESAR
Watch out, CJ, these boys don't
like to lose, eh...
CJ
Yeah, well me either.
CESAR
Follow me to the race, dude!
///MISSION\\\
Frank Tenpenny (BOSS)
Burning Desire (MISSION)
CJ enters the doughnut shop. Tenpenny, Pulaski and Hernandez
are sat at a table.
TENPENNY
HEY! CARL JOHNSON! CJ!
CJ
(to himself)
Oh, shit...
TENPENNY
Come on over here, son!
TENPENNY
(to Hernandez)
Move over, let him sit down,
asshole!
(to CJ)
So you finally found time to drop
by.
CJ
Man, I've been busy. I've been
burying my Moms, man.
PULASKI
Sounds like a fucking excuse to
me.
TENPENNY
Officer Pulaski thinks you're
trying to screw with us, Carl. Now
you get this straight. We own you.
You're ours. We can shit on you
from such a height you'll think
God himself has crapped on you.
You understand?
PULASKI
He better fucking understand.
TENPENNY
Yeah, he better had. Time to go to
work, CJ, and earn your freedom.
There's a guy holed up across
town. You got that address,
Pulaski? Another gangbanging,
drug-pushing, cop-killing bitch,
just like you. We don't like him
and he don't like us. Now you make
sure he never leaves the
neighbourhood - not even in a box.
Now get the fuck outta here!
///MISSION\\\
CJ sets a house sets on fire. A Vagos homie comes running out,
burning.
(On screen) You've trapped a girl inside the burning building.
You'll have to save her.
///MISSION\\\
CJ walks into the bedroom with Denise inside it.
DENISE
Oh God, I'm so scared!
The ceiling collapses on the landing.
DENISE
OH-MY-GOD, what was that?
CJ
Hey, the building's starting to
collapse, we gotta get out of
here, fast!
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Denise exit the burning house.
DENISE
Hey, man, I owe you my life...
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Denise pull up outside Denise's house.
CJ
Hey, what's your name?
DENISE
Denise, Denise Robinson. Give me a
call sometime, we should go out,
or something.
CJ
Yeah, I'd like that.
DENISE
OK, I'll catch you later, CJ.
Frank Tenpenny (BOSS)
Gray Imports (MISSION)
CJ is walking into the doughnut shop just as Tenpenny, Pulaski
and Hernandez are coming out.
PULASKI
Carl!
CJ
Damn!
PULASKI
Where you off to?
CJ
Shit!
TENPENNY
Where you running off to, Carl, I
thought we were friends?!
CJ
Yeah, whatever.
TENPENNY
As an officer in charge of putting
an end to gang violence, I find
myself in a difficult moral
position, Carl.
CJ
Yeah right.
TENPENNY
Carl, I'm hurt, I truly am. And
just as I was about to help those
poor Grove Street boys.
CJ
Oh yeah? How?
TENPENNY
I like the status quo, Carl. I
like having all you bastards doing
my job for me - blowing each
other's guts all over the
sidewalk.
CJ
Dumb bastards?
TENPENNY
Now, if it's brought to my
attention that one tribe gets an
unfair advantage over another,
that truly troubles me, Carl.
CJ
So what you saying, man?
TENPENNY
I'm saying the Ballas have brains,
Carl, they watch the news. I'm
saying they're making friends,
cutting deals, and tooling up for
more than half-assed drive-bys.
Lots of cheap guns coming into
America since the fall of the
wall, Carl.
CJ
Man, cut that bullshit, Tenpenny -
just say what you mean, man.
TENPENNY
Go check out a bust freight
warehouse down the docklands and
you'll see what I mean, Carl.
CJ
Yeah, OK.
PULASKI
Y'all take care, now!
CJ
For sure.
///MISSION\\\
(On screen) The Russians and the Ballas are having a meeting
inside the warehouse.
(On screen) You will have to find some way inside.
///MISSION\\\
Sweet (BOSS)
Doberman (MISSION)
(On screen) This is Ammu-Nation, you can buy weapons and
ammunition here.
(On screen) This is Glen Park, which is Ballas territory.
(On screen) You must take out the enemy gang to gain this
territory as your own.
///MISSION\\\
(On screen) The territory is now owned by the Grove Street
Families and is marked green on the radar.
(On screen) Your gang members can now be found in this
territory.
(On screen) Your territory will come under constant attack
from enemy gangs and you must defend it.
(On screen) When an attack takes place the territory will
flash red and an icon will be placed on the radar.
(On screen) You will gain respect and money for taking over
territory, the money will appear in Grove Street.
A Balla comes running out of a house.
BALLA
Tenpenny set me up!
///MISSION\\\
Los Sepulcros (MISSION)
CJ and Sweet are in Grove Street.
SWEET
Carl, whassup, baby brother?
CJ
What's happening.
SWEET
Peep this - Tenpenny just came by.
Said that one of them Ballas that
you and Smoke laid out, Little
Weasel, is getting buried. And all
the OGs gonna be there.
CJ
At a funeral?
SWEET
Yeah, we just catch all those
ball-sack-ass-niggaz at one time!
CJ
At a funeral.
SWEET
Just like Momma's. Let's go pop
these mother-fuckers out. Hey,
look, we gotta go do something
real big. Put Grove Street on the
map for good. 4 life!
CJ
A'ight, nigga. Let's roll.
///MISSION\\\
Sweet's car pulls up at the back of the cemetery, CJ, Sweet
and two GSF homies get out.
SWEET
This is it.
Sweet and the two homies jump over the wall.
SWEET
OK, CJ, come on over!
///MISSION\\\
Sweet, CJ and the two homies are at the back of the graveyard.
SWEET
Y'all take up positions, and wait
for Kane. Here he comes... Looks
like that busta's wearing armour.
Might take a round or two to drop
his ass.
///MISSION\\\
Sweet and CJ pull up in Grove Street.
SWEET
Man, we was a force back there.
Everybody go home, stay low, we
ain't seen each other all day,
copy? I'll catch you later, Carl.
Sweet (BOSS)
Reuniting The Families (MISSION)
Sweet, Ryder and Big Smoke are watching a porno in Sweet's
house.
BIG SMOKE
Damn, that bitch is bad! Oh, yeah!
CJ enters.
CJ
Whassup, y'all!
BIG SMOKE
Whassup, playa!
SWEET
Whassup CJ! Turn that TV off right
quick. Listen up, fellas, like we
were saying. No more base in the
streets.
CJ
Finally.
SWEET
Peep this - we're gonna unite the
families once more. Because the
Ballas have been pumping our guys
full of base for too long, while
we argue amongst ourselves. So all
the Families sets are gonna meet
down at the Jefferson Motel. I say
it's time we went down there and
made it official. Keep that shit
off our streets! I vote I'm our
representative on this one.
CJ
That's right.
BIG SMOKE
Hey, it's all good. If Sweet
thinks he can handle it, I'm down
with him, man.
SWEET
A'ight - let's roll, homies.
CJ
Let's do this.
BIG SMOKE
Yeah, let's go, man.
///MISSION\\\
CJ, Sweet, Ryder and Big Smoke pull up outside the Jefferson
Motel.
SWEET
OK, it's strictly one rep' per set
- you guys are gonna have to wait
here.
CJ
We'll be there just in case, bro.
SWEET
Thanks, homie, but I'm down with
these boys.
Sweet gets out of the car and goes into the Jefferson Motel.
RYDER
I don't like this, man. Look at
all them other family 'hoods! They
used to be Grove Streets.
CJ
Relax. We straight, they straight.
How about you, Smoke?
BIG SMOKE
Hey, I'm feelin' a little exposed,
but I'm good.
A police chopper flies above them.
POLICEMAN
(on a megaphone in the
chopper)
This is the Los Santos Police
Department; everybody stay where
you are!
CJ gets out of the car.
CJ
Oh shit!
POLICEMAN
(on megaphone)
All units Rock 'n' roll!
Police start to drop from the chopper on ropes.
RYDER
(to CJ)
Man, what you doin'?
BIG SMOKE
Carl, get back in, man we outta
here baby!
CJ
I ain't leavin' my brother, I
ain't no busta!
Big Smoke and Ryder start to drive off.
RYDER
Man, it's every mother-fucker for
himself!
///MISSION\\\
CJ enters a bedroom in the Jefferson Motel, where Sweet is.
SWEET
What took you? Where's Smoke and
Ryder?
CJ
They shook on us!
SWEET
Fuck it, let's get out of here!
CJ and Sweet are on the roof of the Jefferson Motel. The
police chopper is still hovering above them.
POLICEMAN
(on megaphone)
This is the Los Santos Police
Department.
SWEET
CJ, that chopper's all over us!
Hit it!
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Sweet run out onto the pavement.
SWEET
Ah shit, what now?
CJ
It's Smoke and Ryder!
Big Smoke and Ryder pull up in the car.
RYDER
Get in!
CJ and Sweet get into the car.
CJ
Hit the gas! Eh man, I'm running
low.
(on ammunition)
RYDER
I got a 'K here!
///MISSION\\\
Two policemen are on motorbikes. They drop their doughnuts.
POLICEMAN 1
Waste of good doughnuts.
POLICEMAN 2
Let's roll.
///MISSION\\\
Big Smoke is driving high speed down an alleyway. All four
homies are still in the car.
SWEET
Slow down, Smoke, SLOW DOWN!
BIG SMOKE
Oh shit, the brakes is out!
The car slams through an advertising board and onto the
motorway. It crashes into a truck and blows up. CJ, Sweet, Big
Smoke and Ryder had jumped out just before the car went
through the board and over the edge.
BIG SMOKE
Shit! That's gonna be a hell of a
story to tell when we passin' the
blunt!
SWEET
Man, that was some serious shit!
Woo!
RYDER
Fuck this! We gotta get outta
here!
SWEET
Ryder's right, everybody split up,
and we'll meet up later.
Sweet (BOSS)
The Green Sabre (MISSION)
Sweet and four GSF homies are in Sweet's house.
SWEET
So this is it - this is when we
show the Ballas what bangin' is
all about. Grove Street is king!
Say it with me niggaz, Grove
Street is KING! Yeah!
HOMIES
GROVE STREET IS KING!
CJ enters.
SWEET
Whassup, CJ. Where you been?
CJ
Hey sorry, bro, I got caught up.
SWEET
Yeah, you probably was hittin' one
o' them Ballas rats. Yeah I know
what you was up to, nigga!
(to the four homies)
Listen up - y'all down with CJ,
right? He's been through a lot, I
mean we all been through a lot.
But CJ's helping us clean up the
'hood. He's taken the fight to the
enemy -
CJ
Yeah.
SWEET
Showing all of us how we used to
bang, what it used to mean to be a
Grove Street Family. CJ, you're my
brother, my running dog. I should
have never doubted you.
CJ
It's nothing.
SWEET
But you're home now, partner -
home.
CJ
For sure.
SWEET
Listen up! I want all y'all to go
get heated, and meet me Downtown
under the Mulholland Intersection.
We're gonna roll on these Balla
mother-fuckers!
HOMIE 1
A'ight, a'ight!
SWEET
I'll see y'all in traffic.
HOMIE 2
Yeah, let's roll!
Throughout Sweet's speech the homies were constantly agreeing.
SWEET
(to CJ)
You in?
CJ
Hell yeah, I'm in, I'm your
running dog, Sweet.
SWEET
Yeah, my nigga... Alright, you go
get heated up, and I'll meet you
at the crossroads.
CJ is outside Sweet's house, his phone rings.
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Cesar are in a car down an alleyway.
CJ
So you dragged me way across town
to see... what?
CESAR
Just in time, ese, take a good
hard look over there.
CJ
So, some Ballas hanging around a
dope spot, so what?
CESAR
Just watch, homie.
Ryder and Big Smoke come out of the door that the Ballas have
just walked out of.
CJ
What the fuck? Oh, no! Shit,
Smoke, what you into?
CESAR
Ssshhh, ese, look at that ride...
Big Smoke and Ryder pull open a garage door, Tenpenny is
inside the garage along with a green Sabre.
(car)
CJ
That's the mother-fucking green
Sabre!
(to himself)
Shit, Smoke... C.R.A.S.H. makin'
you sell us out! Moms!
CESAR
Sorry ese, I heard a rumour and
poked around. I didn't believe it
myself but...
CJ
No, no, you did the right thing. I
owe you, Ces. I gotta go tell
Sweet about - Oh, fuck! Sweet!
Look, go get Kendl and take her to
a safe place!
CESAR
What you thinking?
CJ
It's Sweet, I think him and the
homies is walking into a trap!
Just go, GO!
///MISSION\\\
CJ is at the Mulholland Intersection. There is a battle going
on between the GSF homies,
(including Sweet)
and the Ballas. Sweet has been shot and is stumbling to the
floor.
CJ
Eh, Sweet man, you alright? You
been hit!
SWEET
CJ... Where you been?
CJ
Cesar called, showed me some shit.
It's Smoke, and he in deep with
Tenpenny and some Ballas! He sold
us out!
SWEET
It doesn't matter, man - you gotta
get out of here. The cops gonna
arrive any second.
CJ
Nah man, I ain't runnin' out on my
brother! Yo', Ballas! I'm taking
you mother-fuckers, you hear me?
I'M TAKING YOU ALL DOWN!
///MISSION\\\
Police close in on the battle. CJ holds his hands up in the
air whilst Sweet is clutching his stomach on the floor.
CUT TO CJ, Tenpenny and Pulaski in a police car in the middle-
of-nowhere. CJ has a bag over his head. Hernandez is outside
the car having a piss.
TENPENNY
You got a bag over you head, boy.
How you feel about that?
CJ
Man, take it off. Please, man, I
can't breathe! Please!
TENPENNY
Oh, alright. But only because you
said please.
Tenpenny takes the bag off CJ's head.
CJ
You fucking sick mother-fucker!
TENPENNY
Intimidate those who intimidate
others, Carl. It's my job. Right,
Ed?
CJ
Hey, man, where we at?
TENPENNY
The middle-of-fucking-nowhere.
Nice, clean air.
CJ
Fucking Smoke! Oh, Sweet!
TENPENNY
Sweet is alive. Alive and inside.
He's in a prison hospital being
treated for gunshot wounds,
awaiting trial.
PULASKI
Yeah, somehow, nobody's caught you
yet.
TENPENNY
Oh yeah, you should be glad, Carl.
Your moron brother's alive. Your
street trash, soon to be turned
out sister's alive. And, she's
only sucking one grease-ball's
dick. Things are going pretty well
for you, Carl. So behave, nigga.
PULASKI
We want you to do a little favour
for us, Carl.
CJ, Tenpenny and Pulaski are now outside of the police car.
Hernandez is still pissing on the side of the road.
CJ
I can't believe that nigga Smoke
turned on me.
PULASKI
Smoke? Smoke does exactly what
he's told. He learned that lesson
a long time ago.
TENPENNY
Homies for life? Street loyalty?
That's all bullshit, Carl. Didn't
you learn that when they ran you
out of town, just 'cause you let
Brian die? Huh? Eddie, I can't
deal with this guy. He's an idiot!
PULASKI
Let me air this fucker out, I...
Pulaski shoves a gun in CJ's face.
TENPENNY
No no no no no no no, Officer...
For once, let's let the kid do
something good with his useless
life. He's gonna help us with the
fight against crime. Right, Carl?
PULASKI
Yeah. By any means necessary.
TENPENNY
Now you stay the fuck away from
Smoke, and stay the fuck away from
us. Otherwise Sweet is going to
find himself on a Ballas block
getting in touch with his feminine
side. Hey Hernandez, you going to
piss all day?
CJ
(to Pulaski)
Get your hands off me, man.
PULASKI
For some reason, we've got a
little problem with a former
friend of ours, he seems to
disagree with some of our methods.
CJ
Now who could do that?
TENPENNY
Yeah, you'll never find anybody as
fork-tongued as this snake ass
bastard. Soon as he gets caught
with his hand in the cookie jar,
he'll whistle any tune Internal
Affairs want him to.
PULASKI
See, they've got him hiding up
Mount Chiliad someplace, so they
can manipulate his testimony any
way they want to.
TENPENNY
I want you to pay him a little
visit, Carl. And destroy all his
evidence before he testifies.
PULASKI
Sort this out, Carl, so Officer
Tenpenny can sleep easy at night.
We want evidence he ain't gonna
talk.
Countryside Missions (AREA)
Frank Tenpenny (BOSS)
Badlands (MISSION)
///MISSION\\\
CJ is in between the trees half-way up Mount Chiliad. There is
a cabin near him.
(On screen) He's inside,
(the snitch)
smoke him out! Watch out for the feds!
(On screen) Remember, you need a photo of him in one piece!
///MISSION\\\
A car is driving away from the cabin.
(On screen) The snitch is getting away!
///MISSION\\\
Catalina (BOSS)
First Date (MISSION)
Catalina is in a bar threatening two men with a knife. CJ
enters.
CATALINA
(to man 1)
You want some, fatso?
(to man 2)
You big streak of Yankee piss.
(to man 1)
I seen fucking eunuchs with more
balls than you.
Catalina slashes man 2 with the knife and then holds it to man
1's neck.
CATALINA
(to CJ)
What the fuck did you want?
CJ
Nothing, I'm looking for a friend
of mine's cousin. Mexican guy. He
ain't here...
CATALINA
You? But Cesar said you was a real
man.
CJ
Lady, I'm a God fearing, peace
loving, man of the people.
CATALINA
Whatever, asshole, let's go.
CJ
Damn, relax, baby.
Catalina (BOSS)
Tanker Commander (MISSION)
Catalina is holding a gun to the window at the gas station. CJ
is with her. Two men are inside.
CATALINA
Hand over the takings, or I blow
your fucking balls off!
MAN
This here's bullet-proof glass! So
you can just fuck off, bitch,
before I call the sheriff!
DEREK
(man 2)
What are you doing, son, just give
her the cash!
CATALINA
Suit yourself, maricon. Change of
plan, Carl, we're taking the
tanker!
MAN
Hey! What you doing?
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Catalina are in the tanker, the two men come out of the
shop in a car.
MAN
I ain't losing another crappy job
because of some crazy bitch!
C'mon, Derek, we're going to stop
those bastards!
DEREK
Do I have to?
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Catalina pull up the tanker in a truck yard. Whittaker
is there.
CATALINA
Hello, Mr. Whittaker!
WHITTAKER
Catalina! What have you brought me
today?
CATALINA
A rig and tanker, full to the brim
with premium gas!
WHITTAKER
Never seen it, never saw you,
never gave you this wad of cash!
CATALINA
Nice not doing business!
WHITTAKER
Likewise. Now get out of here,
before the cops come snooping. You
ever want to run some freight for
me just drop in. I've always got
shit to move.
CJ and Catalina are just outside the truck yard. Catalina gets
on a motorbike.
CATALINA
Goodbye!
The Truth (BOSS)
Body Harvest (MISSION)
CJ goes into a Motel. Tenpenny is sat on a chair, stoned and
still doing drugs.
CJ
(hasn't seen Tenpenny yet)
Hello? Hello, somebody in there?
TENPENNY
In here.
CJ
Check this shit out. What do we
have here?
TENPENNY
Yo', Carl! What up, kid?
CJ
Hey, what's happening? Oh, is this
undercover training? Oh no, you
must be off duty.
TENPENNY
Yeah, yeah, whatever, hush up man.
Mr. Truth here is going to be
supplying you with some of the
finest... weed, and you are going
to deliver it for us.
CJ
Hey, man, you losing it, you
hallucinating and shit.
TENPENNY
Whuh? Oh - Yo', Truth, come here,
man.
The Truth enters.
THE TRUTH
Welcome friend.
CJ
Whassup?
TENPENNY
Carl here is going to be paying
you your money.
CJ
What you talking about?
TENPENNY
Now, Carl, I got a real do gooder
fucking with me, and I want you to
take this evil green poison, and
drop it on him. It's going to ruin
that asshole's career.
CJ
Oh bullshit.
THE TRUTH
Dudes, you want mushrooms? Ludes?
How about some DMT?
TENPENNY
No, not for me, man. I gotta jet.
Oh, shit... I'm fucked up. Yo',
Carl, pay the man.
Tenpenny exits.
THE TRUTH
Whoa man! I never thought I'd see
that. A fed out-smoking me. What
are you, dude? FBI? DEA?
CJ
No, I'm more like a private
investigator.
THE TRUTH
Friend, you give off a positive
energy. How about some Vietnamese
opium?
CJ
Nah, I don't get down with that.
THE TRUTH
But how do I know I can trust you
then?
CJ
What, I'm working for you now?
THE TRUTH
I'm a man of peace but some
squares across that ridge are not
respecting my peace. I mean
survivalist maniacs. Right
wingers. Fascists! They have a
harvester and I need one. Get it,
and then you can pay me. Amaste,
Carl.
CJ
The fuck that mean? Later, freak.
///MISSION\\\
(On screen) The combine harvester is located at the field
towards the back of the farm.
(On screen) There are several groups of survivalists working,
they will not take kindly to any strangers.
(On screen) Get into the farm and steal the combine harvester.
///MISSION\\\
CJ and The Truth are at The Truth's farm
THE TRUTH
Man, you've brought peace back to
my valley, thank you, friend. I'll
call you when the whoop-de-doo is
ready, just make sure you get that
cash.
///MISSION\\\
Cesar Vialpando (BOSS)
King In Exile (MISSION)
Kendl and Cesar are in a trailer. CJ enters.
KENDL
Hey Carl.
CJ
How you doin' sis?
CESAR
This ain't over, man. I did this
to take care of my woman. But now
I'm gonna head straight back home,
and I'm gonna cap me some fucking
dope dealers!
CJ
Hey look, you go into the barrio
with that big willy bullshit, and
you gonna get shredded.
KENDL
And I ain't losing you over no
macho bullshit!
CJ
Hey, relax, man. I'm gonna get
handled when it's time.
CESAR
We already know who the fucking
bad guys are, man, your stinking
Grove Street brother Smoke, and
those chota pigs Tenpenny and
Pulaski! Smoke, he's a pusher,
man!
CJ
No, no, not Smoke, he might mess
with C.R.A.S.H., but he don't mess
with no yay.
KENDL
Come on, CJ! How you think he got
that new house, huh? Just let that
Grove-for-life bullshit go and
take a look around you.
CESAR
Word on the street is twice a
week, Smoke sends a car out to San
Fierro, and the trunk comes back
full of white.
CJ
Shit. I gotta keep my eye on the
highway to San Fierro. Maybe I'll
see something. Just... Just lay
low and I'll be back.
Catalina (BOSS)
First Base (MISSION)
CJ is knocking on the front door of Catalina's house.
CJ
Hey Catalina, baby. It's me, Carl
Johnson. Hey baby, I'm sorry we
got off on the wrong foot. I've
had a rough time, baby. You know,
maybe I was a little harsh. Please
forgive me. C'mon, baby! Open up
the door - shit. Is she here? I
don't see nothing. C'mon, baby,
don't be mad, baby please! Baby,
without you, there is no Carl
Johnson. Damn, man, shit. Now
where is this stupid bitch?
Catalina knocks CJ to the floor and holds a gun to his head.
CATALINA
Here, cabron. Who's the bitch now,
eh?
CJ
Oh baby, baby. I'm so sorry, baby.
CATALINA
What was that?
CJ
You so right! Please forgive me,
baby. Just don't fucking shoot me!
Please!
CATALINA
You think you sorry, huh? How you
going to prove you're sorry?
CJ
C'mon now, baby, c'mon. I am going
to play with you SO rough, baby.
CATALINA
Keep talking!
CJ
And I'll take you to rob banks and
shit.
CATALINA
Ohhh?
CJ
I'll let you kill anyone you want
to kill.
CATALINA
Hm-hmm?
CJ
I am going to treat you right,
baby. Just... c'mon... just please
don't shoot me.
CATALINA
Carl, I think I love you.
Catalina moves the gun away from CJ.
CJ
Err, shit that's great. Cool.
Yeah, fantastic. All that. You
wanna go rob some shit, baby?
CATALINA
Hm-hmm, ha ha! Hm-mmm.
Catalina (BOSS)
Local Liquor Store (MISSION)
CJ and Catalina are outside a liquor store.
CATALINA
This place will be a walk in the
park!
CJ
You mean like the last place?
Four men pull up on quad-bikes.
CATALINA
Who are these cowboy assholes?
CJ
Hang back a while, see what's
what.
The four men hold-up the liquor store and steal the cash.
MAN 1
We got the cash, let's get outta
here!
CATALINA
Those maricon bastards have our
money!
The men ride away on their quad-bikes.
CATALINA
THAT'S MY MONEY!
Catalina shoots one of the men off their quad-bike.
CATALINA
Bleed, stupid mother-fucker! Carl,
you drive, I'll shoot!
CJ and Catalina hop onto the quad-bike.
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Catalina are outside Catalina's house.
CATALINA
See you soon, handsome. Next time,
we play REALLY rough.
CJ
Yeah, that's cool. But we can also
play for some real money. I got
some money to... well, it's a long
story, but I need some serious
paper, fast.
CATALINA
You come and see me again soon. We
rob a real bank.
Catalina (BOSS)
Gone Courting (MISSION)
CJ walks up to Catalina's house. Catalina is in her house.
CJ
Hey, Catalina, it's Carl! C'mon,
let's go, we got banks to rob,
baby. Come on, let's go.
CATALINA
In here, mi amor.
CJ
A'ight, come on. Let's go.
CATALINA
You get your sorry ass in here
right now, Carl Johnson, or I
shove a fucking hand grenade up
it.
CJ
A'ight, I'm coming.
CJ enters Catalina's house. The camera view stays on the
outside of Catalina's house.
CJ
Look baby, I really need that
paper! Oh, my God. What in hell's
name is that?
CATALINA
This, you fucking prick? This is a
rack! I'm gonna torture your sorry
ass! You never write to me! You
don't call! You treat me like a
fucking whore! Like one of YOUR
whores!
CJ
No, baby, please, I ain't into
that shit!
CATALINA
I'm gonna fuck you up!
CJ
Oh, baby, please no. Please, baby, no!
Whipping noises can be heard.
CJ
Ow! Eh! Ooh! Aw! Ouch! Damn! Oh
shit!
CATALINA
Yes! Faster! Harder! Deeper! Oh,
yes! Yes! Yes!
(sighs)
CJ
Maybe we can go out and rob now?
Catalina (BOSS)
Against All Odds (MISSION)
CJ and Catalina are outside a betting shop.
CJ
You wanna rob a betting shop?
CATALINA
Yeah. You not man enough? Here,
Carl.
CJ
Satchel charges?! Where the hell'd
you get them?
///MISSION\\\
Catalina and CJ are inside the betting shop. Catalina runs up
to the counter holding a gun, she points it at the workers.
CATALINA
Open the backroom door or I blow
your fucking face off! Leave the
panic button or I'll kill your
children too!
The worker hits the panic button and the alarm goes off.
CATALINA
I warned you, you stupid bitch!
Stupid fucking bitch!
Catalina shoots at the worker but bullet-proof glass is in the
way so she kills a customer instead.
///MISSION\\\
Satchel charges that CJ planted blow up the safe that is in
the backroom. CJ goes into the backroom to collect the money.
CJ
OK, I got it!
CATALINA
About fucking time, you're a
fucking sloth!
CJ
Whatever. Let's roll!
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Catalina are outside Catalina's house.
CATALINA
You impress me, Carl Johnson!
Here's your cut, big man.
Catalina (BOSS)
Made In Heaven (MISSION)
CJ is walking up to Catalina's house when Catalina comes
storming out of the door.
CATALINA
Asshole!
CJ
Damn, what'd I do now?
CATALINA
You all the fucking same, eh. I
see it on television. I read it in
books. I hear it in music. You all
the same. Fuck this, fuck that.
Well, fuck you!
CJ
Baby, I'm sorry...
CATALINA
I gave to you, as a woman. No! No
more! From now on, we just
business partners. OK?
CJ
Eh, if that's how you want it. But
I mean you're breakin' my heart...
CATALINA
I'm warning you. I'm in a really
bad fucking mood. Today I kill
everybody who fucks with me!
Especially you! Move!
Catalina (BOSS)
Small Town Bank (MISSION)
CJ and Catalina are walking into the bank.
CATALINA
You're on crowd control so don't
take any shit!
CJ
Yes'm, Miss Catalina, Miss.
CJ and Catalina are now inside the bank.
CJ
(to a security guard)
Don't even think about doin'
anything, mother-fucker!
CATALINA
(to an employee)
Hand over every last dollar, NOW,
BITCH!
(to CJ)
I'm going to empty the safe. Keep
these idiots
(four employees)
covered!
CJ
A'ight, you heard the lady, no
heroic shit!
///MISSION\\\
Two policemen are sat in a diner.
POLICEMAN
(on radio)
Attention all units - some psychos
are robbing the bank at Palomino
Creek!
POLICEMAN 1
(to policeman 2)
Shit, I just bought another
doughnut! Don't criminals have any
consideration?
POLICEMAN 2
We can collect that bribe later.
Might as well go and take a look.
The two policemen get in a car and drive to the bank along
with two policemen on motorbikes.
POLICEMAN
(outside the bank)
We know you're in there! The
game's up! Come on out! Come out
real peaceable, like!
///MISSION\\\
Two policemen pull up on motorbikes down an alleyway near CJ
and Catalina.
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Catalina are getting onto a police motorbike each.
CATALINA
Grab a bike and follow me! You
think you can keep up with a real
woman?
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Catalina are outside Catalina's house.
CATALINA
There you go.
CJ
Thanks.
CATALINA
One day, Carl Johnson, you will
realize. She, she truly loved me,
and your heart will break in two.
But you are more like the spiny
lizard than a man. Goodbye!
Cesar Vialpando (BOSS)
Wu Zi Mu (MISSION)
CJ is at a farm.
CJ
Man, where is this guy?
Cesar turns up.
CJ
Hey, I've been waiting forever,
man. Where the hell you been?
CESAR
Sorry, holmes, I had no idea when
the race would be.
CJ
Riiight - you just happened to
show up five minutes after
everybody else, huh?
CESAR
When the gasoline runs through
your veins like the burning
passion, you know when it's time
to race!
CJ
I think you're getting high on
that country air, man!
Woozie and three other people show up.
CESAR
Hey, CJ, look...
WOOZIE
(to CJ)
You haven't been to one of our
meets before, where you from,
friend?
CJ
I'm from Grove Street Families,
Los Santos. What's happening?
WOOZIE
Relax. This isn't a parade, pal.
But, you know, we gotta be
careful. Wu Zi Mu, but my friends
call me 'Woozie'. How you doing?
CJ
Wha...? CJ. Carl Johnson.
WOOZIE
Listen, out here we like to race
for cash or pink slips - racer's
choice. Get your car started,
we're about to go. Good luck, Carl
Johnson.
Woozie and the other three people go.
CJ
(to Cesar)
There's something real strange
about that dude, man.
CESAR
Be careful CJ!
CJ
For sure, man.
///MISSION\\\
CJ pats a car.
CJ
Oooh, yeah!
Woozie and a woman come over to CJ.
WOOZIE
You drive with style, Carl Johnson
- and I never mind losing to a guy
who's willing to push himself
right to the edge. As for me, I'm
a man who honours his bet.
CJ
Well, you learn pretty fast with
the police on your ass.
WOOZIE
Listen, it's best if we clear the
hell out of here as soon as
possible because, for some reason,
the local police don't appreciate
our noble sport.
CJ
Yeah. Thanks for the advice.
WOOZIE
OK, I gotta go. Uh, you know what?
If you ever find yourself in San
Fierro, give me a call, maybe we
can do a little business together.
Woozie hands his card to CJ.
CJ
Yeah, I might just do that.
Police sirens can be heard.
WOOZIE
I guess that's our wake up call.
Nice meeting you.
Cesar Vialpando (BOSS)
Farewell, My Love... (MISSION)
CJ is at the farm with his car. Catalina gets out of her car
with a crowbar and kisses a man. Catalina walks over to CJ.
CJ
Damn, man, now what?
CATALINA
PIG!
CJ
What? What'd I do now?
CATALINA
Oh, so THIS is where you have
been, eh? THIS is how you repay my
tenderness! You prefer the curves
of some car to those of a real
woman?
CJ
Look, Catalina, you called it off,
remember, 'just business'.
CATALINA
What kind of a man are you? When I
say 'just business', I mean that I
love you!
Catalina hits CJ's car with the crowbar.
CATALINA
When I say, I no interested no
more, I mean that I long for you!
Catalina hits CJ's car with the crowbar again.
CATALINA
And when I say that I missed
you...!
CJ
Wait, Catalina, wait! Leave my car
alone, I did this for us, for me
and you!
CATALINA
It's too late. I don't love you no
more. I love another, OK?
CJ
What? Then what the fuck was this
about?
CATALINA
I cannot keep my passions holed
up, they need a release. That was
a good release, like hitting a man
with a frying pan while he sleeps.
This, CARL, THIS is my new man.
(the man that she kissed
earlier)
Are you jealous? Are you going to
fight for me?
CJ
No, no, I can take rejection.
CATALINA
You are jealous and a coward! Now
let's race!
CJ
Crazy bitch.
///MISSION\\\
Catalina, her man and CJ get out of their cars.
CATALINA
(to CJ)
You had the unfair advantage!
CJ
Being a better driver ain't no
unfair advantage.
CATALINA
You think you're clever, but it is
you who is missing the point! Not
only was he racing, but he was
satisfying me, fully! What are you
gonna say about that?
CJ
The advantage of a stick shift, I
guess. Yeah whatever, anyway, man,
what is it, cash or pink slip?
CATALINA
There you go!
Catalina hands CJ a slip of paper.
CATALINA
Goodbye Mr. Johnson, I will NOT be
missing you!
CJ
Hey, wait a minute, bitch! What is
this shit?
CATALINA
The deed to a garage in San
Fierro. My lover needs his car so
we can go to Liberty City.
CJ
Liberty City? Yeah, whatever, have
a good time.
CATALINA
I will.
CJ
Fine.
CATALINA
OK.
CJ
Go, I ain't gonna miss you.
CATALINA
GOODBYE!
The Truth (BOSS)
Are You Going To San Fierro? (MISSION)
CJ enters The Truth's farm with a briefcase. The Truth is
exercising.
THE TRUTH
Peace. I've got everything you
need, lone traveller. It's in the
Mothership back there.
CJ
Thanks, man. Look, here go your
paper.
THE TRUTH
The karmic circle closes. All is
as it should be. Back to the egg.
Oooommmmmm.
CJ
Damn, man, there must be two tons
of that stuff back there!
THE TRUTH
Threeeee. Ramayanaaaaa... What the
fuck's that noise?
CJ
Hey, that sounds like a chopper.
THE TRUTH
Oh man, narcs! You fucking rat!
CJ
Dude, don't put that on me! You're
the one that deals with Tenpenny!
The Truth throws CJ a flamethrower.
CJ
What's all this?
THE TRUTH
Calm, brother; panic paves the way
to bad karma.
CJ
Man...
THE TRUTH
We gotta torch those fields. I
only hope Gaia can forgive us!
///MISSION\\\
The Truth is in the Mothership. CJ goes to him.
CJ
We got a chopper on our tail,
we'll never shake 'em now.
THE TRUTH
Hold on, I got a little something
back here I was saving for a rainy
day.
CJ
Holy mother-fucker! Where'd you
get that?
CJ appears with a rocket launcher.
THE TRUTH
Found it in a bail of Thai Sticks.
Shame really, I was going to make
it into a lamp.
///MISSION\\\
CJ and The Truth are outside CJ's garage in San Fierro.
THE TRUTH
This is the place. Whoa, Jesus
dude, looks like you've been fed a
bummer.
San Fierro Missions (AREA)
Carl Johnson (BOSS)
Wear Flowers In Your Hair (MISSION)
CJ, Cesar, The Truth and Kendl are entering CJ's garage in San
Fierro.
CJ
Mother-fucker! That mute asshole!
(Catalina's boyfriend)
That fucking snake without a
tongue! Gave me this shit-hole
instead of a pink slip? I must be
the biggest fucking idiot in the
whole fucking world!
CESAR
Holmes, take it easy. At least
we're alive.
THE TRUTH
Carl, friend, fellow traveller,
relax, man. You're really killing
my fucking vibe here!
CJ
Well, I'm sorry I'm fucking up
your vibe, old man, but I can't
wait to get my hands on that mute
(to Cesar)
and your bitch ass cousin.
CESAR
My cousin? You're gonna dis' my
familia?
CJ
My bad, man. I'm just pissed for
all of us. I mean look, we in a
strange place, we got shit to our
name, and for once I try to make
something work, this garage, and
it ain't even a garage.
KENDL
Then make it into a garage.
CJ
Oh, that's a great idea, sis! Why
don't you shut up?
KENDL
You know what, Carl, you are a
fucking idiot. Your whole life
you've wanted something for
nothing. Now you've got something,
and you don't know what to do with
it. Well, make it good enough.
We'll help, right?
CESAR
We got your back, CJ.
KENDL
C'mon stop tripping, man.
(to CJ and Cesar)
Both of you.
THE TRUTH
Woah man, the energy here - it's
fantastic. Ommmmm...
CJ
Yeah, alright, but how am I gonna
find some good mechanics to work
up in here, man?
THE TRUTH
I know a few guys. Come with me,
friend. They're good people, I
swear it.
CJ
Oh, man - I'm about to ride with
this fool again?
CJ and The Truth are outside CJ's garage.
THE TRUTH
C'mon, man, there's these two guys
I know - used to work on marine
engines, 'til the mob bought their
business over in Vice. Now they
try and make ends meet by taking
any old job. They're a little bit
dulled by their habit, but the
smoke don't get in the way of
their skills with an engine. We'll
pick up Jethro first. Last I
heard, he was working at a garage
over Easter Basin way.
///MISSION\\\
CJ and The Truth pull up at a gas station. Jethro is working
under a car.
THE TRUTH
Hey, Jethro! Hop in, man. I've
landed you a real job.
JETHRO
Hey there Truth dude! Oh man, do I
owe you? Coz I swear I paid for
that weed, dude!
THE TRUTH
No, man, we're good, I think.
Jethro, Carl. Carl, Jethro.
CJ
Whassup, man.
THE TRUTH
Can we swing by the hospital, it's
over in Santa Flora district, west
of here.
CJ
Yeah, you sick?
THE TRUTH
No. The government is, but that's
a long story.
///MISSION\\\
CJ, The Truth and Jethro pull up outside the hospital.
CJ
What we here for, anyway?
THE TRUTH
Nothin'. Ooh, don't look. Cover
your faces. Think about a yellow
rubber duck.
A van pulls out from the hospital.
CJ
You tripping again.
THE TRUTH
Sshhh!
The van drives past them and goes.
THE TRUTH
OK, I've seen enough. Let's go see
if we can find Dwaine. He's
working a hotdog van at the tram
terminal in King's.
///MISSION\\\
CJ, The Truth and Jethro pull up outside a hotdog van where
Dwaine is.
THE TRUTH
Dude, Dwaine, man, how's the
hotdog business?
DWAINE
It's totally shit. Why, what's
happenin'?
THE TRUTH
Uh, my friend Carl here is opening
a chop shop. Jethro's in, how
about you?
DWAINE
Ah yeah, cool man. Uh I've got
like some shit to take care of
first though. So uh, you tell me
where you guys are going to be at
and I'll meet you dudes there.
CJ
The garage is on the waste grounds
in Doherty. I'll see y'all later.
THE TRUTH
OK, next stop the cop station
downtown.
CJ
What? You out your mind! Why?
THE TRUTH
If I told you, the likelihood is
you'd get a probe up your ass
within a month.
JETHRO
Like, listen to the man, dude,
he's real serious about that shit.
CJ
Wuh? OK, but you're starting to
freak me out with all that space
shit, man.
///MISSION\\\
CJ, The Truth and Jethro are outside the police station.
THE TRUTH
OK, you know the drill. Don't look
interested in anything.
The same van that came out of the hospital pulls around the
corner.
THE TRUTH
Picture a pink golf ball in your
mind.
The van goes down the street and away from them.
THE TRUTH
OK, we're good to go.
CJ
Where to next, Spacehead?
THE TRUTH
There's an electronics guy I've
had dealings with, goes by the
name of ZERO. He could fix a
supercomputer with a paperclip.
He's got his own shop, but he's
always ready to help fellow
travellers along the path.
///MISSION\\\
CJ, The Truth and Jethro pull up outside Zero's shop. Zero is
sat on a bench outside his shop.
ZERO
Leave me alone Berkley! This is
stalking! Oh, hey, Truth.
THE TRUTH
Get in, I'll fill you in as we
drive. Home, James!
///MISSION\\\
CJ, The Truth, Jethro and Zero pull into CJ's garage.
CJ
OK, we here.
All five men walk into CJ's garage, now including Dwaine.
Cesar and Kendl are already in there.
CJ
A week of hard work and we'll
transform this place. Hey, Cesar!
Come over here.
CESAR
Whassup, B?
CJ
Cesar, this is Jethro, Dwaine and
Zero.
DWAINE
Hey man.
JETHRO
Dude.
ZERO
Salutations, my sibling!
CESAR
Horale, let's get to work.
KENDL
Hey Carl, look - I think I found a
way for us to get paid.
CJ
I ain't going to no college to
study no accounting!
KENDL
No, idiot, property!
CJ
Decorating ain't exactly my thing,
either.
KENDL
No, property development! Look,
you buy a dump like this, fix it
up and sell it. Or better yet, you
turn the property into a business.
The snowball gets bigger...
CJ
I dunno, sis, this all sounds big
time to me.
KENDL
Look, Carl, this place is gonna
get on its feet, and when it does,
we are gonna have money. If you
want to make something of
yourself, you gotta let your money
work for you.
CJ
Look, I wouldn't even know where
to start.
KENDL
Look, you two
(CJ and Cesar)
concentrate on the garage, and let
me work the property thing, OK?
CESAR
Yeah, that's my baby girl right
there, holmes!
CJ
Man, you chose her, I'm stuck with
her!
Carl Johnson (BOSS)
555 We Tip (MISSION)
CJ walks into his garage.
CJ's phone rings.
TENPENNY
Carl, how's San Fierro?
CJ
It's fucked up. I can honestly say
I wish you was here.
TENPENNY
Great. Now, you got the present
for that friend of mine, right,
you know, the one trying to get me
and old Officer Pulaski into
trouble?
CJ
Yeah.
TENPENNY
Why don't you put that up in his
car and give We Tip a call.
CJ
Hey, mother-fucker, the code of
the streets is that I don't
snitch. I don't give a fuck if it
kills you, me, my brother. Street
cats don't call no cops.
TENPENNY
Carl, he's a D.A.
CJ
Oh yeah? Well where I go find him?
TENPENNY
He's at the Vank Hoff Hotel in the
Financial.
CJ
Oh for sure.
///MISSION\\\
(On screen) The hotel operates a valet service. The D.A. will
be dropping his car off here shortly.
///MISSION\\\
(On screen) The D.A. is driving a blue Merit. remember it,
you'll need to identify it correctly when it arrives. Make
sure none of the other valets service his car first.
///MISSION\\\
CJ drives the D.A.'s car into CJ's garage.
///MISSION\\\
CJ is on the phone outside Vank Hoff Hotel.
CJ
Hello? This WE TIP? I seen
something highly suspicious you
should come check out...
Two police cars pull up outside the Vank Hoff Hotel where the
D.A. is in his car.
POLICE
Police! Don't move! Get outta the
car with your hands in the air!
D.A.
Do you know who you're fucking
with here? I'll have your badge
you moron!
POLICEMAN 1
Shut up! You found anything back
there?
Policeman 2 is checking out the boot of the D.A.'s car.
POLICEMAN 2
Found anything? He's got half of
Mexico in here! Must be two tons
of Mary here!
D.A.
What? But... but I've never
seen... how could it have...?
POLICEMAN 1
Eloquent defence you got there,
buddy.
Carl Johnson (BOSS)
Deconstruction (MISSION)
CJ enters his garage. Jethro, Dwaine and Cesar are working on
a car.
CJ
Hey, homies!
CESAR
What up, Carl?
Kendl walks over.
KENDL
What the fuck is going on? Do I
look like a hooker to you?
CJ
What?
KENDL
Those assholes keep saying shit to
me!
CESAR
Who said this to you?
KENDL
The construction workers up that
hill.
CESAR
I'm gonna fuck them up...
CJ
No, hold up, I got this. I need to
go and teach them a little
respect, huh?
CESAR
That's right.
CJ
I been thinking about getting me
some new land anyway.
(On screen) Scare off the construction firm.
(On screen) Destroy all the portables and kill the foreman.
(On screen) Construction machinery will help destroy
portables.
///MISSION\\\
The foreman comes out of a mobile toilet.
FOREMAN
What's all that damned clatter?
The foreman notices all of the destroyed portables and runs
back into the mobile toilet.
FOREMAN
Holy crap! I didn't see nothing!
(On screen) Push the mobile toilet into the ditch.
(On screen) Then bury him under concrete.
///MISSION\\\
A cement truck that CJ is in tips cement into a hole in the
ground which contains the mobile toilet with the foreman in
it.
Zero (BOSS)
Air Raid (MISSION)
Zero is in his shop. CJ enters.
CJ
Hey, whattup, Zee?
ZERO
Nothing is up, Carl, apart from my
blood pressure, and the imminent
collapse of my hopes and dreams.
CJ
Why?
ZERO
As usual, the forces of darkness
have triumphed over good. Life is
nothing but misery, briefly
interspersed with agony.
CJ
Homie, what you on? Whatever it
is, you need to reduce the dosage.
ZERO
Excuse me, but I never take drugs.
We all know drugs are for losers,
and/or sex maniacs. And right now,
sex is the last thing on my mind.
CJ
Thank God for that!
ZERO
Berkley is back!
CJ
Ooohhh. Berkley.
ZERO
Yes.
CJ
Who the fuck is Berkley?
ZERO
Just a man I once beat in fair
competition. A man literally
obsessed with revenge.
CJ
Oh, you put hands on him?
ZERO
No, please. I never initiate
violence.
CJ
Oh, I know - you knocked his
bitch!
ZERO
No. I won the prize in the science
fair. First prize, that is.
CJ
And now he wanna pop you?
(laughs)
And they say gang bangers is petty
and small minded! Hey, what's that
bleeping sound?
ZERO
That's him! We shall fight to the
end!
CUT TO CJ and Zero on Zero's shop roof.
ZERO
Berkley's launched a full-scale
attack!
CJ
This is insanity!
ZERO
All batteries commence fire! He's
going for my transmitters! If he
takes them out, I'll never be able
to launch a counter attack!
CJ
No problem man, but they only
toys.
ZERO
They're not toys! They're just
smaller!
(On screen) Use the minigun to eliminate the enemy threat.
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Zero are still on the roof.
ZERO
Ha ha ha ha Berkley! As long as we
have opposable thumbs, WE WILL
FIGHT YOU! ...Well done, Carl. Now
leave, I must prepare for the
battles ahead! Never have so few
owed so many... too little,
three... no that's not it, what is
it? We will fight him on the
beaches, well, rooftops...
Zero (BOSS)
Supply Lines... (MISSION)
CJ enters Zero's shop.
CJ
Hey, Zee, where you at?
ZERO
(from another room)
Go away, Carl. I'm very, very,
busy back here. Top secret stuff.
Not for your eyes. Too
sensitive...
CJ enters the backroom.
CJ
Come on, homie, where are you?
ZERO
(from inside a cupboard)
I said go away, Carl. I don't need
any friends today, thank you.
CJ opens the cupboard. Zero is hanging on a hook by his
underwear.
CJ
(laughs)
Man, them some pretty strong
drawers!
CJ helps Zero down.
ZERO
Yes, my hero. Carl, he came back
and humiliated me! I shall
probably turn to prostitution now,
where I will be found dead, and
broken. I am a 28 year old man,
whose landlord just helped him
down from a hook, from which I had
been hanging from my underwear,
contemplating my inadequacy, for
nearly two hours. Ow! Ooh, my
crack...
CJ
Look, you gotta get even, homie.
What kind of weapons you got?
ZERO
Uhh... I've got a prototype of a
miniature plane.
CJ
Well with that plane, we gonna go
humiliate Berkley.
ZERO
OK, cool!
CJ
Man, this is ridiculous.
There is a van on screen.
ZERO
Berkley has his sycophantic
lackeys do all his deliveries.
Well, we shall hit him where it
hurts the most! Bring his mail
order model business to its knees!
///MISSION\\\
Zero (BOSS)
New Model Army (MISSION)
Zero is in his shop. CJ enters.
CJ
What's happening, Zero?
ZERO
I'm off to engage with destiny,
good or bad.
CJ
What the hell are you talking
about now?
ZERO
The hour of judgement is upon me
and I must ask myself if I am a
sheep or a goat. Carl, will you be
my second? Here are some letters.
I have left everything to you in
case I don't make it. Please.
CJ
I already own it. What's wrong
with you, man?
ZERO
We are crossing the Rubicon. I am
to engage in battle with Berkley.
At stake, honour and our very
lives. It's funny... I've never
noticed before how beautiful this
time of year can be... I may never
again see Rome in the springtime.
A butterfly...
CJ
C'mon with all the talking, man -
is you going to battle Berkley or
what?
ZERO
It's a fight to the death! Come
hither!
There is a miniature battlefield on screen, complete with
bases.
ZERO
Behold, No Man's Land!
CJ
Man, y'all take this shit
seriously.
ZERO
Berkley's HQ is across No Man's
Land. I'll drive the Bandit, you
fly the Goblin and help any way
you can! If I get the Bandit into
Berkley's base, he must leave San
Fierro for good! LET BATTLE
COMMENCE!
///MISSION\\\
The Triads (BOSS)
Photo Opportunity (MISSION)
CJ is outside his garage. He is on the phone to Cesar.
CESAR
CJ.
CJ
You got it.
CESAR
Hey, my cousin just called me. He
gave me a tip about a Balla car
going San Fierro to score yay.
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Cesar drive into a gas station.
CJ
That was some heavy shit!
CESAR
We better split up and get outta
here. I'll meet you back at the
garage!
CJ
Coolio. We got what we came for
anyway.
The Triads (BOSS)
Jizzy (MISSION)
Cesar, Woozie and Suzie are in CJ's garage. CJ enters.
WOOZIE
That's crazy, man. What are we
looking at exactly?
CJ
Hey man, you get them flicks
developed? W'sup, Woozie!
WOOZIE
Hey Carl. I was just explaining to
your... brother in law that we
were friends.
CJ
Oh yeah? Well look, Woozie, I need
to get some info from you, man.
WOOZIE
What exactly do you boys want to
know?
CESAR
Who are these putas, holmes?
WOOZIE
(to Suzie)
Why don't you go take a look?
Suzie goes and has a look at the photos.
SUZIE
These guys?
CESAR
Yeah.
SUZIE
They're the Loco Syndicate.
They're pretty big time, I think.
Don't have any dealings with them
- we don't touch blow.
Suzie points to a photo.
SUZIE
Now this guy runs things. I don't
know his name.
Suzie points to another photo.
SUZIE
This guy is T-Bone Mendez. He's
the muscle.
Cesar points to a photo.
CESAR
And who's that guy?
SUZIE
That's Jizzy B. He's the biggest
pimp in town. He helps set up the
deals... You know, a concierge of
sorts.
CJ
Hey, then he's my way in. How I
get to him?
WOOZIE
Oh, Jizzy? Jizzy runs the Pleasure
Domes Club in that old fortress
under the Gant Bridge.
CJ
Hey, good looking out, Woozie.
WOOZIE
No problem. Don't be a stranger!
Jizzy (BOSS)
Jizzy (MISSION)
Jizzy is in his club with two girls.
JIZZY
See, baby, I got everything...
Mink sheets... Mink coats... Mink
curtains in the window. When I
walk down the stairs I'm walking
down on... Mink carpet.
CJ enters.
JIZZY
Now who's this trick? I don't need
no more friends, baby. All they
try to do is peel me from my hos.
CJ
No, no, it ain't about them. It's
all about you, playa. I heard you
was the man with the hook up, and
you was the man I needed to see.
I'm offering my services.
JIZZY
Say what?
CJ
Yes, sir. See, I'm new in town.
Anything you want, I can do. For a
guy like me, to work with, to work
FOR, a guy like Jizzy B, well...
JIZZY
Now that you mention it, I do have
a slight problem. Something a
little dumb muscle like yourself
might be able to fix. 'Cause you
see me, I'm an intellectual.
Bitches, y'all walk on down to the
bar and fix a pimp a drink. See I
only got two eyes, and on these
streets you got to have more than
that. You got to be like a fly on
shit, you know? A hundred eyes,
everywhere. Now some lunatic been
fucking with my bitches. Mother-
fucker killed two last week. I
want you... Go find out.
CJ
No prob. I'm a playa partner now,
Jizzy.
CJ is walking away from Jizzy's club. Jizzy goes after him.
JIZZY
Wait up, Mr. C-to-the-J! See that
pretty young thang in my car? Drop
her off at the hotel Downtown. Use
my car-phone to gimme a ring-a-
ding when you're done. And watch
the rims, playa! Treat that baby
like the Pope Mobile!
///MISSION\\\
Jizzy's ho gets out of the pimp-mobile Downtown. CJ stays in
the car.
HO
Later, ese.
CJ
(on the car-phone)
Hey Jizzy, it's Carl, I just
dropped off your girl.
JIZZY
Church! Got a little errand for
you to run before you deal with
that problem I was just talking
about. Some young buck thinks he's
a playa, been trying to peel my
hos over in Hashbury. Now one of
my girls over there just eyeballed
the punk, I want you to get your
ass over there and ice that
pretender!
///MISSION\\\
CJ is in the pimp-mobile.
CJ
(on the car-phone)
Hey, it's CJ. Just to let you know
you don't have to worry about no
competition in Hashbury.
JIZZY
Worry? Did I say I was worried? No
I did not. Now to the real deal.
Some of my girls in the Foster
Valley been getting knuckled over.
I want you to get your ass up
there and nose around - find out
what's going on.
///MISSION\\\
CJ is in the pimp-mobile.
CJ
(on the car-phone)
Mr. Jizzy, It's CJ.
JIZZY
You is a bad luck charm, clucky!
That girl you dropped off Downtown
wants out of the game! Her sugar
daddy wants to take her off the
streets! Nobody turns my hos! Now
you get your ass back to the
hotel, and you make an example out
of all of 'em!
///MISSION\\\
CJ is parked near the hotel. The ho and a preacher get into a
limousine that is parked in front of the hotel.
PREACHER
The Lord sent me to save your
thread-bear soul, harlot! Get in
the car and remove your filthy
vestments, so I my better gaze
upon thine corruption! Driver, get
us out of here before the devil's
right hand snatches this po' girl
from salvation!
DRIVER
Right away, your evangelical
holiness!
///MISSION\\\
CJ is in the pimp-mobile.
CJ
(on the car-phone)
Everything's been taken care of,
Mr. Jizzy!
JIZZY
Oh, CJ, you's a playa's right
hand, baby. Oh, and by the way -
that car's just come up over on an
APB. Dump it, keep it, whatever.
Just keep it away from me, my hos,
and my club!
CJ
Oh, for sure, you got that, man.
Jizzy (BOSS)
T-Bone Mendez (MISSION)
Jizzy and T-Bone are in Jizzy's club.
JIZZY
Now just listen to me, OK? Now
it's very important that you
listen to me. I ain't no retard,
amigo. What you think? What, what,
what you and Mike think - I'm just
a pretty face to y'all? Is that
y'all game?
CJ enters.
JIZZY
Now this here is the dumb muscle
that I was talking about. Carl -
T-Bone, and in reverse.
CJ
Whassup?
T-BONE
Horale, ese.
JIZZY
Don't mind him, we go way back.
T-BONE
Hey holmes, don't be such a pinche
liability.
JIZZY
Liability? Liability for what?
Now, there's 3 of us and I'm
getting 20%. What type of math is
that? That's fool's math, playa!
You and Mike. I'd sell my soul to
you guys, and that's what it's
going to come down to, huh?
Screwing me out of my 13%!
T-BONE
You knew the deal. You agreed.
Besides, we could have said 5%,
and what would you...?
JIZZY
And what what what?! Cat got your
tongue? You as bad at talking as
you is at mathematics?
T-BONE
Hey, you want to make this shit
personal, ese?
T-Bone's phone rings.
T-BONE
Hello... Yeah... What? Man...
Damn! Hey, man, I gotta bounce.
JIZZY
Oh no you don't! I invented that
trick, baby. Carl, come with me.
We gonna have to bust us a couple
of melons up in here.
(to T-Bone)
What do you mean the shipments
have been ambushed? We can't just
go out there T-Bone, it could be a
DEA trap!
///MISSION\\\
Four men drive away from a van on motorbikes, carrying
packages.
(On screen) Chase down the bikers and collect all the
packages.
///MISSION\\\
Jizzy (BOSS)
Mike Toreno (MISSION)
Jizzy and T-Bone are in Jizzy's club.
JIZZY
T-Bone! Pump your brakes, baby.
Take a chill pill, and just lay
back and let the red mist fall,
brother!
T-BONE
Hey, holmes, open your eyes, dog.
Can't you see we're getting messed
with here, holmes?
CJ enters.
JIZZY
Hey, partner! T-Bone, look, it's
Carl! Now he's a real hero out
there. See? We still good.
T-BONE
What, are you vatos stupid?
Someone's onto us. We need to go
back and rethink.
CJ
I think they was just trying their
luck.
T-Bone's phone rings.
T-BONE
Mike? Mike! I been trying to
contact you. What? Oh man. Where
are you? OK, just keep talking!
(to CJ and Jizzy)
Hey, holmes, Mike's in trouble.
Let's bounce.
CJ
What trouble? And who's Mike?
T-BONE
Man, they've taken the yay
shipment, and the van and Mike's
still in the back!
JIZZY
Well, what we going to do? How the
fuck we gonna know where he is?
T-BONE
He's got his phone, he's gonna
talk to us until his battery runs
out. Come on, we gotta bounce!
JIZZY
A'ight, let's jet!
///MISSION\\\
CJ and T-Bone are walking towards the van.
CJ
Hey, man, c'mon, hurry up.
T-Bone opens the van's back door.
T-BONE
Apurate, apurate!
TORENO
About time, T-Bone... Who the fuck
is this?
T-BONE
Hey, that's one of Jizzy's clowns,
relax, güero.
TORENO
You hear that?
(police sirens)
We gotta torch this van with the
coke in it.
T-BONE
Hey, Charlie, güero, we ain't
torching nada!
TORENO
This is a set back, but doing
twenty to life is a little more
than that, comprende amigo?
CJ
Hey he's right, man, let's do it
and get the hell out of here.
T-BONE
Hey, who the fuck asked you,
payaso? This ain't a committee!
TORENO
Exactly. I call the shots here.
Now shut up and let's go.
///MISSION\\\
CJ, T-Bone and Toreno pull up outside Jizzy's club.
TORENO
OK, Carl Johnson, you did good
today.
T-BONE
Man, now shake the spot, we got
shit to talk about.
The Triads (BOSS)
Outrider (MISSION)
CJ is outside his garage. His phone rings.
JIZZY
Partner.
CJ
Jizzy. What's going on?
///MISSION\\\
CJ is outside of a gas station.
CJ
Man, where the hell everybody
anyway?
CJ gets into a car. T-Bone is hiding on the back seat, he
comes up behind CJ and holds a gun to CJ's head whilst getting
him in a headlock.
T-BONE
Hey, you a pinche jura or what?
CJ
What the hell?
T-BONE
You think you can mess with me? I
will blow your head off, and rape
and kill your family, you snake.
You think you can fucking bullshit
me, and fuck me over? I know your
fucking game, ese.
CJ
I don't know what you're talking
about, man! My throat!
T-BONE
Who you working for?
CJ
Nobody!
T-Bone releases CJ's head.
T-BONE
Turn around and look at me.
CJ
Man, I'm just trying to make some
money, and keep my mouth shut. I
swear, man!
T-BONE
I almost had you, man. I almost
fucking had you. Guacha! You gotta
be careful in this business, man,
you know that.
Toreno comes up to the car.
TORENO
Are you boys done playing around?
T-BONE
Yeah, we're straight, vato.
TORENO
Oh good, that's great. Now we
gotta go meet this shipment. We're
late as it is. Let's go!
T-BONE
You heard what jefe said.
///MISSION\\\
CJ, Toreno and T-Bone pull up near a van.
TORENO
(to CJ)
Get out and grab a bike. This
shipment has to get to the
factory. You make sure it does, we
make it worth your while. We're
watching you, kid.
T-BONE
Si mon, ese. We're watching.
///MISSION\\\
CJ is in the factory yard with an ese.
CJ
OK, we made it, but the cops gonna
be all over the spot real soon.
Get the van out of sight, I'm
gonna get out of here!
Frank Tenpenny (BOSS)
Snail Trail (MISSION)
CJ enters his garage. Jethro is working under a car.
JETHRO
Hey, CJ, whassup?
CJ
Hey whassup, Jethro?
JETHRO
Some cops are lookin' for you in
the office, man.
Tenpenny and Pulaski are in the office.
CJ
Tenpenny. Alright, man, I got it.
CJ enters the office.
CJ
Nice to see y'all kicking back.
PULASKI
Hmmm? I wonder how your brother's
sleeping, curled up next to his
shower daddy while you live
comfortably on the outside?
CJ
Man, what you all want this time?
TENPENNY
Well, what we want is to get on
with our jobs in peace, without
some damn bleeding heart liberal
poking his nose into affairs he
won't even understand.
CJ
The press onto y'all?
PULASKI
What the hell would you know about
it, boy?
TENPENNY
Woah, easy there, Eddie, let's not
get ahead of ourselves. Some young
journalist out there is trying to
get a name for himself.
PULASKI
He doesn't know how the streets
work - that he's supposed to
report what he's supposed to
report.
TENPENNY
Yeah, anyway, we need you to shut
him up for us.
PULASKI
And that stoolie - shut him up
too!
TENPENNY
Yeah, there's some reporter who's
digging up dirt on Pulaski, we
don't know who's talking, but we
know that the reporter's meeting
him today.
PULASKI
Take care of him.
TENPENNY
Oh - this is nice place... Carl.
///MISSION\\\
The Triads (BOSS)
Ice Cold Killa (MISSION)
CJ runs into his garage and starts rummaging in the bonnet of
a car.
CJ
Damn, where'd I put it? Where the
hell did I put it? Shit!
Cesar walks over.
CESAR
Hey holmes, you OK?
CJ
Yeah. Woozie left a message, say I
gotta go get Jizzy's phone after
he made the call. Then I can
ambush the meet and take down
those Balla pushers from Los
Santos.
CESAR
Hey, homie, you want me to roll
with you?
CJ
No, this is a one-man job. I gotta
stay real low key, I was thinking
about welding some shit together,
and making me a silencer!
CESAR
You're fucking crazy, holmes! You
gotta get out of this ghetto
mentality!
CJ
So what you thinking?
CESAR
Let me show you. Check this out,
holmes.
Cesar pulls a silenced pistol out of a bag.
CESAR
Here, take mine.
CJ
Where'd you get that?
CESAR
Same place I buy my pants, holmes.
This is America!
///MISSION\\\
CJ is at the front of Jizzy's club, there are two bouncers
guarding the doors}
BOUNCER 1
Jizzy doesn't want to be
disturbed.
(On screen) Use the Skylight to get into the club!
///MISSION\\\
Jizzy is in his club with two hos and two men.
JIZZY
Gimme some room. Gimme some room,
bitch! It's that time of the week
again - your provider is about to
make that special call. If I think
for a moment that one of you hos
is hustling me...
Jizzy makes a cutthroat gesture.
HO 1
You better make a bigger cut this
week Jiz. We're running low,
honey!
JIZZY
Shut up bitch, I'm handling
business!
HO 1
Don't you even raise your voice at
me, asshole!
JIZZY
Now shut up, bitch!
Jizzy pushes the ho onto one of the men.
MAN 1
Your funky ass...
Ho 1 murmurs and walks away. CJ enters.
CJ
Hey, Jizzy, I need to holler at
you.
JIZZY
Well talk, then, friend. I mean,
that's all we ever do. A kind word
here, a wise saying there. Shit,
I'm a walking book of proverbs.
CJ pulls out his silenced pistol and holds it in Jizzy's face.
CJ
No, you fucked up.
JIZZY
C... C'mon, man. Hey, I get it
wrong, you know? I'm imperfect -
you know, like... hey. Not a kind
man. Not a wise man, you know. Not
a smart man, but Dear Lord, I
tried!
CJ
No. You fucked up when you trusted
me, playa.
JIZZY
C'mon, baby... I... I... But...
But...
CJ
You an ass-selling, yay pushing,
piece of shit trash.
JIZZY
Oh, Lord! Whatchoo all waiting on,
huh? Somebody cap this nigga, man!
(On screen) Jizzy's escaping. Hunt him down!
///MISSION\\\
Jizzy and a man run out of Jizzy's club and get into a car.
///MISSION\\\
The Triads (BOSS)
Pier 69 (MISSION)
CJ is on the street in front of a building. Cesar is on the
roof of the building.
CESAR
Hey, holmes, I'm up here. Go
around the back!
///MISSION\\\
CJ is on the roof with Cesar.
CJ
Hey man.
CESAR
Nice job getting that phone
message.
Cesar passes CJ a sniper rifle.
CESAR
So, what's up with Jizzy?
CJ
Dead. So, what's the plan?
CESAR
T-Bone's security got here real
early. They've got men on the
roofs watching over the pier.
Cesar's phone rings.
CESAR
Eh. OK, yeah, yeah, yeah, I see
you. That was Woozie's boys,
they're in place. Look, down by
the side entrance.
CJ
Shit, they headin' up to the roof!
CESAR
Shit! Mira, we're gonna have to
take out T-Bone's men on the
rooftops before this whole gig
blows wide open!
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Cesar are still on the roof of the building.
CJ
Man, my busting was tight!
CESAR
Here comes T-Bone...
CJ
And here's that snake Ryder. Look
at that fool, hanging out with the
Ballas like they was life long
pals. Something ain't right.
Where's Toreno?
CESAR
Chopper inbound!
CJ
That's gotta be Toreno. Oh shit,
he'll see the bodies on the
rooftops!
CESAR
Too late, man, he's tripping out!
CJ
Smoke grenades! So much for a
surprise, c'mon, we gotta take
these fools right now!
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Cesar are at the end of the pier, T-Bone is staggering
along, bleeding.
CESAR
Mendez, I see you, Rifa mother-
fucker!
CJ and Cesar both shoot T-Bone and he falls over the edge of
the pier and into the water. Ryder is trying to escape.
CJ
Hey Ryder, sherm-head asshole,
where do you think you're going?
RYDER
C... Can't stop me...
CESAR
He's headed for those boats!
CJ
Don't worry about it, I got this.
///MISSION\\\
CJ is in a boat. CJ's phone rings.
CJ
'Sup Cesar.
CESAR
You OK, holmes, we been watching
from the pier with binoculars!
CJ
Yeah, I'm good, I think. Listen,
you better clear out. The cops
gonna be all over the spot in a
minute.
CESAR
Sure thing, see you back at the
garage!
The Triads (BOSS)
Toreno's Last Flight (MISSION)
CJ is outside his garage. His phone rings.
WOOZIE
Carl, it's Woozie, I've got some
information for ya.
///MISSION\\\
A helicopter takes off from the helipad where CJ is stood.
///MISSION\\\
Wu Zi Mu (BOSS)
Mountain Cloud Boys (MISSION)
CJ enters Woozie's betting shop. Some punters are shouting at
the TV screens. CJ walks up to the counter.
EMPLOYEE
We're closed! Pokgai!
CJ
Easy, man, I'm here to see Woozie.
EMPLOYEE
Oh. Upstairs.
CJ
Stupid ass mother-fucker...
CJ is at the bottom of the stairs. Suzie steps in front of
him.
CJ
I'm Johnson. I'm here to see
Woozie, I work with him.
SUZIE
Yes, right this way. You know of
the boss's curse?
CJ
Curse? Nah.
SUZIE
He's blind.
CJ
Blind? But we was just racing cars
last week!
SUZIE
Yes, I know. He is blessed with
unbelievable good fortune. And the
Triad that would do anything for
him. We call him our Lucky Mole.
CJ
A'ight. I'll keep that in mind.
SUZIE
Good.
CJ enters Woozie's upstairs room. Two girls that were with
Woozie leave.
CJ
Woozie!
WOOZIE
Hello, Carl.
CJ
Hey, what's happening Woozie -
y'know, how you doin'?
WOOZIE
Straight to the facts; I can't use
your help unless I'm open with you
about who I am and what I do. Let
me re-introduce myself... I am the
boss of the Mountain Cloud Boys.
CJ
Nice to meet you.
WOOZIE
Likewise. Why don't you sit down.
As Dai Dai Lo of the Triad, it is
my responsibility to see that
disputes are settled without...
damaging important business.
CJ
Where I come in at?
WOOZIE
We shall see. I'm about to drop in
on a local Triad that failed to
show face at the last Tong
meeting. Come with me, and you'll
see how we Triads settle things
without recourse to... unnecessary
violence.
CJ
A'ight, I'll ride with you.
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Woozie are walking down an alleyway towards a gate.
WOOZIE
Ah, we're here! This way! Strange,
this gate is usually locked. Stick
close!
There are dead people laying around. Some cars are on fire.
CJ
Oh man, Woozie...
WOOZIE
What's got you spooked?
Woozie stumbles into a dying man.
WOOZIE
Oh, oh sorry, didn't see you lying
down there.
CJ
He's dead. They all are.
WOOZIE
The Blood Feathers, wiped out?
A man opens a garage door which he is behind.
MAN
Dai Dai Lo! Forgive me, I was too
scared to fight, so I hid.
WOOZIE
Enough! What happened here?
MAN
Vietnamese surprised us, cut us
all down. Shit, here they come
again!
Four Vietnamese men pull up in a car.
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Woozie get in a car. More Vietnamese men turn up.
CJ
We got more company!
///MISSION\\\
Wu Zi Mu (BOSS)
Ran Fa Li (MISSION)
Woozie, Farlie and Guppy are upstairs in Woozie's betting
shop. CJ enters.
CJ
Hey, Woozie, my man, what's going
down?
WOOZIE
Hey CJ. Let me introduce you to
Shuk Foo Ran Fa Li. he heads the
Red Gecko Tong on the West Coast.
CJ
How you doin'?
FARLIE
(grunts)
WOOZIE
Ah Ah Kung has sent word from
Kowloon; a Vietnamese crime
family, the Da Nang Boys, are
preparing to move to the United
States. This may explain the
cowardly attack on the Blood
Feather Triad.
FARLIE
(grunts)
WOOZIE
There may be some trouble ahead.
FARLIE
(grunts)
GUPPY
The Shuk Foo would like a package
retrieved. A courier has left it
in a drop at the airport. It is
most important to the matter at
hand.
CJ
Oh, I can do that.
FARLIE
(grunts)
GUPPY
(to Woozie)
He is Triad? A Mountain Boy?
WOOZIE
No - a personal friend of mine.
And less likely to draw the
attention of the Da Nang Boys.
FARLIE
(grunts questioningly)
GUPPY
OK.
CJ
Thanks for your support.
///MISSION\\\
CJ is in a car in the airport car park.
(On screen) It's an ambush, the Da Nang Boys are covering the
exits!
///MISSION\\\
Wu Zi Mu (BOSS)
Lure (MISSION)
Woozie, Farlie and Guppy are upstairs in Woozie's betting
shop.
WOOZIE
As honoured as I am to share my
home with you,
CJ enters.
WOOZIE
we should lure these lizards out
into the baking sun!
GUPPY
We were followed here. The Da Nang
Boys are watching this apartment.
As soon we leave, they will
attempt an assassination.
CJ
Hey, what's the big deal? Why
don't you cruise on out of here,
lead them to a place quiet and cap
their flat asses - no offence.
WOOZIE
None taken.
GUPPY
We
(including Farlie)
find you funny.
CJ
Look, as long as they think Mr.
Farlie here is in the back,
they'll follow me wherever. After
a while, you can come out safely -
simple.
WOOZIE
Heh-heh. Amazing.
GUPPY
Your success will be rewarded, Mr.
Johnson.
///MISSION\\\
Two motorbikes pull up alongside CJ, who is in a car.
///MISSION\\\
CJ is still in the car and is now outside a gas station in the
countryside. His phone rings.
CJ
Hey!
GUPPY
Mr. Johnson, it's Guppy, are you
OK?
CJ
Yeah, it's nothing, they took the
bait like morons! Mr. Ran Fa Li
get out alright?
GUPPY
Yes, Woozie has taken him to
safety, thank you.
CJ
Cool. I'll see you later, man.
A biker pulls up alongside CJ.
BIKER
It's decoy, back to Chinatown!
Wu Zi Mu (BOSS)
Amphibious Assault (MISSION)
CJ and Woozie are upstairs in Woozie's betting shop.
CJ
Hold on. You tryin' to tell me you
can't swim?
WOOZIE
Seriously, when I'm in the deep
water, it panics me, plus, I'm
terrified of eels, and squid, and
seaweed, and...
CJ
OK dude, see - I know you just
trying to make excuses now!
WOOZIE
Look, CJ, I need someone from
outside the Triad who I can trust.
CJ
A'ight, so let me get this
straight. You want me to swim
around in dirty dock water,
dodging little brown jelly beans
and Vietnamese gangsters, to put a
bug on a boat in the harbour?
WOOZIE
You're so negative!
CJ
Listen, man - when I was a kid,
swimming off the Santa Maria, I
once got a condom stuck to my
face.
WOOZIE
(laughs)
CJ
Horror like that stays with you
for life, believe that.
WOOZIE
(laughs)
I have a confession to make...
I... I'm blind.
CJ
No shit!
WOOZIE
Yes, although I've trained my
other senses to a point where you
wouldn't notice my handicap, in
the water they'd be quite useless.
CJ
Alright, Woozie, relax. Don't beat
yourself up about it. Look, I'll
do it. Uh, one last thing. you do
know that I'm black, right? And
not Chinese.
WOOZIE
I'm blind, Carl, not stupid.
///MISSION\\\
CJ is at the docks.
(On screen) The boat that you have to planet the bug on is
anchored out at sea.
(On screen) You will have to swim to it, however there are Da
Nang Boys patrolling the route.
///MISSION\\\
CJ is in the water.
(On screen) The route ahead is blocked but there is an
underwater tunnel! You will have to dive and swim through it
to proceed.
///MISSION\\\
CJ is still in the water.
(On screen) The main route across the water is guarded by two
patrol boats. If they spot you, dive underwater to lose their
attention.
(On screen) Don't swim on the surface of the water or you will
be spotted.
///MISSION\\\
Wu Zi Mu (BOSS)
The Da Nang Thang (MISSION)
CJ is just entering the upstairs of Woozie's betting shop.
Woozie and Suzie are on their way out.
CJ
Woozie, my man!
WOOZIE
CJ, you caught me on my way out.
CJ
Business?
WOOZIE
This is the big one, this is the
one that is going to seal my place
in the Red Gecko Tong. But
something's come up, and I've got
to sort things out myself.
Woozie's phone rings.
WOOZIE
Excuse me. Little Lion, what's the
news? Damn. Why today of all days?
OK, shit. Take Guppy and go check
it out.
CJ
Trouble?
WOOZIE
The Da Nang Boys are arriving
today on a container ship. Little
Lion's gone to check it out - I
really gotta go too.
CJ
Hey man, look. Don't even trip.
I'm gonna handle this for you,
alright?
WOOZIE
Thanks, my friend. Your help and
friendship has been invaluable to
me.
CJ
Thanks man. Where the other guys?
WOOZIE
Oh, they're getting a helicopter
to do a couple of fly-bys of the
ship. Look - If everything goes
well, I'll call you in a week or
so and invite you to my new spot.
Guppy is in a helicopter. CJ gets in.
GUPPY
Hey CJ, what are you doing here?
CJ
Just bumped into Woozie on his way
out. He filled me in. I thought
I'd roll with you.
GUPPY
We ain't rollin', we're whirling!
Strap in and strap up!
///MISSION\\\
The helicopter is falling towards the water.
GUPPY
We're hit! We're going down! Brace
for impact!
///MISSION\\\
CJ is in the water near the ship. Two Da Nang Boys are on the
ship.
DA NANG BOY 1
Can you see any survivors?
DA NANG BOY 2
No. Nobody's getting out of that
alive!
CJ jumps onto the ship.
///MISSION\\\
CJ is at a lower deck in the ship. There are three Da Nang
Boys and a container with refugees in it.
DA NANG BOY 1
(at the container)
Keep it down, do you want to bring
the Snakehead down here?
DA NANG BOY 2
Not long until we're drinking cola
in the free West, eh!
(to CJ)
Hey, who the fuck are you?
///MISSION\\\
CJ releases four refugees from the container.
REFUGEE 1
Please, the Snakehead tricked us,
we are prisoners. Please help us
escape!
The Snakehead is on screen.
REFUGEE 1
The Snakehead is up on the
bridge...
///MISSION\\\
CJ is on the bridge with the Snakehead. The Snakehead throws
CJ a sword.
Snakehead
Enough! We settle this here!
///MISSION\\\
The four refugees are in two dinghies, CJ is also in one.
REFUGEE 1
Thank you for everything!
The Triads (BOSS)
Yay Ka-Boom-Boom (MISSION)
CJ is sat in his garage office. Cesar enters.
CESAR
Carl! You're a fucking hero down
in LS, I just spoke to my cousin.
CJ
Not wit' my people I ain't. Shit's
still fucked up. Man, I got homies
I used to run with that turn their
back on me, over this.
(drugs)
CESAR
Yeah, well, what are you going to
do, huh?
CJ
Fucking Ryder man! That was my
homie. And I've killed him!
CESAR
Fucking midget deserved it, eh.
Little asshole tried to bang your
sister, you know that?
CJ
...No... For real...? Shit. Maybe
you're right, then, man. But...
CESAR
Cheer the fuck up. You're going
soft on me, man. You did something
good, eh?
Woozie and Suzie enter.
WOOZIE
Yes you did. But this isn't over
yet.
CJ
What you mean?
WOOZIE
Well, your former friends have a
factory. And the way I see it, if
you take that out you will have
put them out of business for good.
CJ is outside his garage. His phone rings.
CJ
Yeah?
///MISSION\\\
CJ is inside a garage. A mechanic is under a car.
CJ
Hey man, is it ready?
MECHANIC
She's all set. Get in.
The mechanic comes out from under the car.
MECHANIC
She's packing enough to take out
that crack lab. I've wired in a
delay timer, to give you time to
get out.
CJ
Cool. Good lookin'.
///MISSION\\\
CJ is outside the grounds of the crack lab. Three men are
inside the grounds. They are separated by a security gate and
a giant wall.
MAN 1
It's a hit!
MAN 2
Blast the moron, open the gate!
///MISSION\\\
Three men are running towards CJ.
(On screen) Get out of the warehouse before the timer runs
out.
///MISSION\\\
The rigged car blows up inside the crack lab.
///MISSION\\\
CJ jumps out of the crack building grounds in a car.
///MISSION\\\
Cesar Vialpando (BOSS)
Zeroing In (MISSION)
CJ, Cesar, Jethro and Dwaine are playing cards in CJ's garage.
Zero is at the back of the garage.
CESAR
Read 'em and weep, cabron.
CJ
Oh, shit!
Kendl enters.
KENDL
So this is it, huh, the great new
business venture that's supposed
to save all of our worthless
lives?
CJ
Wanna get in?
KENDL
Look, I thought this was supposed
to be our foot on the ladder. I
thought we were going to make this
place work?
CJ
Hey, it might look like we're
playing cards, but we actually
planning.
CESAR
Don't worry sweet baby, we're
about to go get our first project!
ZERO
At last, it works!
KENDL
What works?
ZERO
Oh, just a simple bit of
electronic wizardry and
intellectual bombast that hacks
into the state of the art
satellite immobilization
technology on board our target
vehicle! Ahhh, me...
CJ
I don't know what he just said,
but it's on!
ZERO
Yes, it's on! Wait... what's on?
CJ and Zero are outside CJ's garage. CJ is in a car.
ZERO
Here, this gadget is set up to
pick up on cell phone signals.
Each time she makes a call it will
give you the new location. You'll
have to stay close if you're going
to get an updated position though.
A woman is getting into a car.
ZERO
OK?
CJ
For sure. Good Lookin' Z.
///MISSION\\\
(On screen) You can now modify street racing cars at this mod
shop in Ocean Flats. The cars you steal for the garage
business can be found in Wang Cars' showroom.
Cesar Vialpando (BOSS)
Test Drive (MISSION)
Jethro, Dwaine and Cesar are in CJ's garage. CJ enters.
CESAR
Hey Carl, there's two cars on the
list, ese, and they're in the
showroom across town, let's go get
'em!
CJ
I've always admired your direct
approach, hombre.
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Cesar are outside the car showroom.
CESAR
Here we go, holmes. The cars are
on the second floor.
CJ
What? How we gonna get 'em down?
CJ and Cesar are on the second floor of the car showroom.
SALESMAN
Can I help you two, eerr,
gentlemen?
CJ
Yeah, you can help us by going to
help some other mother-fucker.
CJ and Cesar take a car each.
SALESMAN
Y- yeah, that sounds like a good
idea!
The salesman runs downstairs.
CESAR
Alright, CJ, it's time to roll!
It's follow the leader, you better
keep up!
Cesar drives the car through the second floor window and onto
the road.
CJ
Aw, you a maniac, ese!
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Cesar park the cars in CJ's garage.
Cesar Vialpando (BOSS)
Customs Fast Track (MISSION)
Cesar is sat in a car in CJ's garage. CJ has got the hood up
checking something out.
CJ
Yeah I got it, it's in the
manifold.
CESAR
Shit, I just changed that seal!
Must have got a crimp in it, damn!
Kendl comes along.
KENDL
Hey Ces, your boy is here. He
ain't my boy.
Cesar goes to check out who it is.
KENDL
(to CJ)
Hey, we're almost living a normal
life, huh. This is far from Grove
Street, right?
CJ
Yeah, I know, but I just can't get
it out of the back of my mind.
Moms, Sweet, Smoke - I just can't
let that go.
KENDL
I know. So what we going to do
about Sweet?
CJ
It's a shitty situation but I've
got to let it play out a little
longer, OK?
KENDL
OK, but be careful. We ain't
trying to lose you again.
CJ
That's right, sis - good looking
out.
Cesar finishes talking to the man and comes over to Carl.
CESAR
Hey, Carl, I gotta rap to you,
holmes. I know a guy who knows a
guy who handles freight containers
down on the docks. He saw one of
the containers was loading up cars
and one was a match for a car on a
customer's wish list. So, he
marked the container with a spray
can, but it might be too late, the
ship's loading and it moves out
tomorrow.
CJ
OK, let's go peep it out - see
what we can see.
///MISSION\\\
CJ is in a crane. Cesar is on the ground.
CJ
Cesar! None of these
(containers)
is marked with spray paint!
CESAR
We'll just have to try one at a
time, eh!
///MISSION\\\
Cesar is next to an open container. CJ is still in the crane.
CESAR
Not this one, CJ!
///MISSION\\\
Cesar in next to another open container. CJ is still in the
crane.
CESAR
No luck, CJ, try another!
///MISSION\\\
Cesar drives out of a container in a car. CJ is still in the
crane.
CESAR
OK, CJ, this is the one, good
work, holmes!
A car comes round the corner with three men in it.
MAN 1
Hey! What the fuck do you think
you're doing?
///MISSION\\\
Two men come running along to CJ and Cesar.
MAN 1
Stay right there, you thieving
bastard!
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Cesar drive into CJ's garage with the stolen car.
CESAR
Hey, holmes, that was fun, we
should do that again!
(On screen) Car exports and imports have been unlocked. Check
the wanted board at the Easter Basin Docks for vehicles wanted
for exporting.
(On screen) Deliver wanted vehicles to the ship. Vehicles are
also imported on certain days.
Cesar Vialpando (BOSS)
Puncture Wounds (MISSION)
Jethro and Dwaine are in CJ's garage. CJ is in his garage
office. Cesar pulls into the garage in his car.
CJ
Hey man, where you been?
CESAR
I tracked one of the cars on
our shopping list, but the
crazy bitch, she drives like
the devil! I've been following
her for hours, but she stops
for nothing! You'd have to ram
her off the road in order to
get a chance to get her car
and you know a wrecked car is
no good to us! I swear she is
playing with me!
CJ
Dude, calm down! If she's
playing with you, then she
probably won't get one-time
involved until it turns ugly.
We gotta find a way to stop
her, or slow her down.
CESAR
Too bad we can't involve the
police, 'cuz then they could
pop her crazy bitch tyres and
bang her crazy bitch ass in
jail for being a danger to my
sanity!
CJ
You know what, I think I've
got an idea...
///MISSION\\\
Desert Missions (AREA)
Mike Toreno (BOSS)
Monster (MISSION)
CJ is outside Toreno's house. Toreno is nowhere to be seen.
TORENO
(disguised voice)
Carl, darling, welcome.
CJ
Some fucking welcome, man. What
you know about my family.
TORENO
Now first we need to see what
you're made of.
CJ
What do I look like I'm made of?
Pudding?
TORENO
No - anger, and hate. And that's
what I like about you. There's a
truck in the garage. Whadd'ya say
we take it for a spin.
CJ and a man are stood next to a monster truck.
MAN
Here's the deal, this is all about
speed and commitment. you got a
GPS in the cab. Get to each set of
map coordinates as quick as you
can. Make it to all the
coordinates then get the truck
back here. Lose the truck and you
fail.
CJ
First, what's a GPS? Second, fail
what? And third, who the fuck are
you?
MAN
Sorry, need-to-know basis only!
Oh, one more thing, this baby's
got four-wheel steering instead of
a handbrake. Good luck! You need
to get a time better than 6:30.
///MISSION\\\
(On screen) 5:12
(in this case)
- Let's see how your time compares...
There is a table on screen with a heading of Monster. Under
that are the columns RANK, NAME and TIME. CJ's position is;
RANK: 3. NAME: CJ. TIME: 5:12.
(in this case)
MAN
(from earlier)
Not bad at all, I'm semi-hard. The
boss will be in touch.
Mike Toreno (BOSS)
Highjack (MISSION)
CJ is walking towards Toreno's house. Toreno taps CJ on the
shoulder.
TORENO
Hey, Carl.
CJ
Hey, what the fuck, man! Hey,
Toreno, I told you my bad, man.
What the hell can I say? I screwed
you over.
TORENO
Calm down, kid.
CJ
Just go ahead and kill me then.
TORENO
Calm down!
CJ
Man, you ain't nothin' but a
fucking yayo dealer anyway,
Toreno.
TORENO
Shut up and sit down! What, you
think I'm a drug dealer? You think
you're a crusader for good? Do you
have any idea what's going on? Any
idea whatsoever? Do you? DO YOU?
CJ
No. I pay as little attention to
things as possible.
TORENO
Do not be a fucking smart-ass with
me. I work for a government
agency. It is not important which
one. I will try not to confuse
you. Yes, when we last met, I was
involved in battling threats in
Latin America, BY ANY MEANS
NECCESSARY. That does not make me
a drug dealer. Now, the money that
we raised, the friends that we won
over, have helped us immeasurably
in our overseas interests.
CJ
Government agency?
TORENO
Kids like you. You expect heroes.
We're fighting a war out there.
I'll be a hero and I'll lose, and
what'll we have? Communism in
Ohio. People sharing. Nobody
buying stuff. That kind of
bullshit. So relax, and listen.
CJ
Alright, alright, I'm listening.
TORENO
I know what kind of a guy you are.
I need a guy like you. To do
things I can't get caught doing.
CJ
Like what?
TORENO
I need you to commandeer a
trucker. A rival agency, with a
confused social agenda. They got
things that we need. Now this is a
two-man job. You'll need a friend.
Use your sister's boyfriend, but
don't tell him a thing. Remember.
I'll be watching you.
Toreno leaves. CUT TO Cesar running towards Toreno's house
with CJ waiting.
CESAR
I got here as fast as I could, CJ.
CJ
Yeah, you sure did. How you know I
needed help?
CESAR
Man, you losing it, holmes. You
phoned me a half an hour ago, man!
CJ
I did? I mean, oh yeah, I did.
Sorry man, I got a whole lot on my
mind.
///MISSION\\\
CJ ushers the stolen truck into his garage.
Mike Toreno (BOSS)
Interdiction (MISSION)
Toreno is in his house on a radio.
TORENO
Roger that, Big Monkey, I got a
13-6 fat vulture. Need to acquire
a drowning baby. Over.
CJ enters.
TORENO
In 15 by the fat moon. Break your
heart. Over and out.
(to CJ)
Carl. I need you to do me a
favour...
CJ
Yeah, I'll do you a proper injury,
man. What you knowin' about my
brother?
TORENO
Relax. He's in prison up state, D
Wing. Cell 13. To the left I got a
child killer, who wants to rip his
throat out. To the right of him I
got a white supremacist, who wants
to eat his heart, to be precise.
Now don't worry. Tenpenny and
Pulaski are really relatively
benign. Unless of course you're a
family member of Officer
Pendelbury whom they shot when he
threatened to expose them. But you
do know all about that, right?
CJ
Damn. Hey, man, how you know all
this stuff, man, and why don't you
stop it?
TORENO
You just don't understand, do you,
kid. It's all white knights and
heroes. We have to make decisions,
kid. You know, I try to set bad
people on other bad people. And
sometimes, I let good guys die.
He's your brother, but to me, he's
just collateral. It's a very
delicate decision. Over here, you
got all the scumbags inside the
country, and over here, you got
all the scumbags outside the
country. And me and my colleagues.
We're the fucking pivot. Keep the
government in work. Which reminds
me... I need you to head over HERE
in the buggy outside.
Toreno points to a map.
TORENO
OK, OK, let off a flare. We got
some precious cargo needs
collecting.
CJ
Hey, hold up. What about my
brother? And all that shit you was
talking about?
TORENO
Don't worry, Sweet's just fine. He
gets touched, a prison guard goes
home and finds that his wife and
kids have been murdered.
Everything's under control. We'll
talk later. Now, come on, get
outta here.
///MISSION\\\
CJ is outside a house in the desert.
TORENO
(through a speaker)
Jesus, what took you?
CJ
Toreno! Where you at?!
TORENO
Miles away. No time for niceties,
kid. Choose a vehicle, grab the
equipment I've provided, get to
that drop zone, and wait for that
package.
///MISSION\\\
CJ lights a flare at the drop zone.
TORENO
(through a speaker)
That's our cargo arriving now!
CJ
Jesus! Will you stop doing that?
A helicopter is flying towards the drop zone.
TORENO
Hold up. Shit, pilot says he's got
trouble, two agency choppers
coming in on an intercept. Can you
see them?
CJ
Yeah.
TORENO
Shoot 'em down. Protect the cargo
at all costs!
///MISSION\\\
The helicopter drops the cargo.
///MISSION\\\
CJ is outside a hut.
TORENO
(through a speaker)
OK, get the package back to Las
Brujas.
CJ
Where are you? You givin' me the
heebie jeebies, man!
TORENO
Carl, I will ALWAYS be watching...
or listening... or both.
///MISSION\\\
Mike Toreno (BOSS)
Verdant Meadows (MISSION)
Toreno is sat in his house reading a book. CJ enters.
TORENO
It's amazing!
CJ
What's up now, Toreno?
TORENO
This history. It's all lies. It
says Hitler killed himself and
that we nuked Japan. And people
believe this shit. Jesus. Well, if
it makes them sleep better at
night, I guess.
CJ
Hey man, what did you want? Is you
gonna free my brother?
TORENO
No. Not now. And here's a little
newsflash - I said that to get you
to do something for me.
CJ
Man, you real fucked up.
TORENO
But the shocker is, we are gonna
look after him. Because I need him
alive as much as you do.
CJ
Oh, thanks.
TORENO
You know, after what you've done
for me, it's like you're a pro
now. I got double agents in Panama
who want to put a price on your
head. A Russian spy - a little,
fat, Boris looking guy - he's
asking for clearance to
interrogate you, Russian style.
Callipers on the genitals. Feels
good, you'd like it.
CJ
That ain't nothing cool, man! Just
leave me alone. You're bad news!
TORENO
Don't worry about it. The Russians
got bigger things to worry about
than your genitals, believe me.
The whole country went to shit. We
tried hard to put a lid on it, but
that idiot Gorbachev, with the
little strawberry on his forehead,
he gave away the crown jewels.
Still, they got their, you know,
boy in the White House. That was
nice...
CJ
So? What you want me to do?
TORENO
Listen, I need you to buy some
property, OK. Shouldn't cost that
much. You offer them a dollar. If
they give you a hard time, kill
them. I'm going to need you to
start doing some real wet work
here for me soon, OK? Enough of
this little girl bullshit. Now get
out of here.
Between missions.
CJ is at the airfield. His phone rings.
TORENO
Hey, Carl! So what do you think of
our new base of operations?
CJ
It's missing something. Maybe a
tennis court and a pool would help
motivate me better.
TORENO
Very nice, Carl, very cute. Now
listen, you're going to have to
learn how to fly.
CJ
No I ain't.
TORENO
Yes, actually, you are. I've set
out a series of tests for you. You
can access them on that TV. You're
going to have to prove to me you
can fly if you're going to
continue working towards your
brother's freedom.
CJ
Shit. Whatever, man...
TORENO
Very nice.
Mike Toreno (BOSS)
Learning To Fly (MISSION)
No cut-scenes.
Mike Toreno (BOSS)
N.O.E. (MISSION)
CJ is at the airfield. Toreno sneaks up behind CJ and grabs
him.
TORENO
Got you again, Carl. You're half
asleep. I could have killed you in
9 different ways. Wake up and
smell the coffee.
CJ
You need to lay off the coffee.
TORENO
We got a problem. I got some guys
out in the field need some
equipment. If they don't get it,
they'll be dead by nightfall.
CJ
Then take it to them.
TORENO
Me take it to them?
CJ
Yeah, why not?
TORENO
I got five guys watching me all
the time. Two in that hill. One
over there and two by satellite.
If I go my guys and I will be
dead. I don't have a death wish.
I'm a man of peace, son.
CJ
Yeah, clearly.
TORENO
Take the plane. You're not ready
yet so stay low under the radar.
Questions?
CJ
Yeah, just one thing...
TORENO
Get to it.
CJ
Wait. Hey. Listen! Listen to me
for once. Why won't these guys
come after me?
TORENO
Oh, they can't because they're all
posted on me. One DEA. One FBI. A
Russian, a Cuban double agent and
my paymasters. Cheques and
balances. Nobody is watching
anybody watching nobody. You know
what I mean? Go.
CJ
Whatever, man.
///MISSION\\\
Mike Toreno (BOSS)
Stowaway (MISSION)
CJ is at the airfield. Three cars and a plane come onto the
airstrip.
CJ
Ah, what's Toreno up to? I'm
feeling a little exposed here!
CJ hides behind some crates. The agents are patrolling the
airstrip. Toreno sneaks up behind CJ, also hiding behind the
crates.
TORENO
What's your take on this?
CJ
(startled at the sudden
appearance of Toreno)
Damn!
(normal)
I thought they was your people.
TORENO
Listen, Carl. We've got a problem.
Some traitors from another
department think they can help the
'overseas situation' by financing
militaristic dictators in exchange
for arms contacts.
CJ
Hey, ain't that exactly what you
do?
TORENO
Well, kind of, but we get to pick
our dictators. Degenerates that we
can control. We try to stay the
hell away from these guys with
principles, because that just -
muddies the waters.
CJ
Yeah, OK.
TORENO
OK, so, of course these idiots
have stolen a consignment of land
mines and they plan to offload
them in the Middle East, and
cause a little ruckus...
(rambling)
And everybody goes crazy and has a
lot of problems...
(normal)
Carl, do you like maiming people?
Just curious...
CJ
Maiming? Some people, shit...
TORENO
Anyway, the point is - you and me,
Carl, we're the same. Now yeah,
it's a dirty job, but somebody's
got to do it. But if you screw
this up, it cause a tinder box
situation all over Latin America
and the Middle East. Now look, I
spoke to the big man. You've got
clearance to eliminate these
fuckers. How's that?
CJ
Huh, man, kill Government agents?
TORENO
Kill, schmill. Come on... don't
look at it that way, will you?
Think of it as pest control. It
works for me. All right, come on,
I can't stay here now. I'm too
hip, I gotta go. OK? I'm outta
here.
(On screen) Toreno needs you to plant a bomb in the plane.
Stealth is out of the question so you'll need to move fast.
(On screen) Use this bike to get up the plane's ramp and plant
the bomb inside.
(On screen) Drive the bike up the plane's ramp before it takes
off.
///MISSION\\\
The plane takes off.
(On screen) You're trapped on the plane.
///MISSION\\\
CJ jumps off the plane as it explodes.
The Truth (BOSS)
Black Project (MISSION)
CJ is at the airfield. The Truth is on top of an old piece of
plane.
THE TRUTH
Hail fellow, well met. Amaste.
Peace. Carl, brother.
CJ
Hey, Truth, where you at?
THE TRUTH
Just checking that you were no
longer on 'government business'.
Where is he?
CJ
How the fuck would I know, man?
He's like the devil. Hey, man, you
OK?
THE TRUTH
Everything is transient.
The Truth jumps down from the old piece of plane.
THE TRUTH
Oof. Oh, man. Uh. I'm passing
through life, same as every man.
CJ
OK.
THE TRUTH
Do you have any idea what you're
doing for Toreno?
CJ
No. I seem to be on a need-to-know
basis.
THE TRUTH
Oh, no, man. Two lies don't cancel
each other out. You know that. We
pay them to lie to us. Is that
what our founding fathers wanted?
No more, friend. No more. We're
not alone.
CJ
Get off me, man, what's going on?
THE TRUTH
Everything is going on! Don't you
get it? There's a place. Not even
on the map. A train is about to
leave. It can explain better than
I ever can. Boy, this is going to
blow your fucking mind! We got
work to do. You better drive. I'll
explain. Elegance does not even
touch it.
CJ and The Truth are in the Mothership outside Area 69.
CJ
Do we have a plan here?
THE TRUTH
Go, go, go!
CJ gets out of the Mothership.
CJ
HEY! Hold up, dude!
The Truth drives away.
(On screen) The Truth wants you to gain entry to the Area 69
research lab and bring back to him the Black Project that is
being developed inside.
(On screen) The easiest way into the Area 69 bunker complex is
through the blast doors. To open these go to the control
tower.
(On screen) There are searchlights sweeping the area. Observe
their routine and plan your route around them. If you stay in
a searchlight for too long or shoot more than 2 out you will
be spotted. The blast doors will go on lockdown, and an
alternative route inside will then have to be found.
(On screen) There are also several military personnel
patrolling the area. Use the thermal goggles that The Truth
gave you to help you see them in the dark.
(On screen) You can use stealth to avoid patrols or climb to
the top of a control tower and use your sniper rifle to take
them out.
///MISSION\\\
(On screen) Make your way through Area 69 to the research lab
which will give you access to the black project.
(On screen) There are several military personnel on patrol
throughout the installation.
(On screen) The control room will allow you to deactivate some
of area 69's exterior defences, which will aid your escape.
///MISSION\\\
CJ is wearing a jet pack.
(On screen) You've found what The Truth wanted. You must
escape by using the Jet pack to fly out of the launch bay
directly above you.
///MISSION\\\
The Truth is in the Mothership on top of a canyon. CJ is stood
near the Mothership.
THE TRUTH
Carl, dude, man!
CJ
Here you go, better stash it
someplace fast!
THE TRUTH
Far out, have a nice trip, dude!
The Truth drives away.
CJ
Hey, wait a... Was it too much to
get a lift into town?
The Truth (BOSS)
Green Goo (MISSION)
CJ is at the airfield.
CJ
Damn. Where is this fool?
The Truth enters on the jet pack narrowly missing CJ who had
to get out of the way.
THE TRUTH
Woooah! Shit. Oh! Damn! Ow!
CJ
Hey, man, look out!
THE TRUTH
THE NEW AGE BEGINS HERE!
CJ
Say what?
THE TRUTH
Not all fantastic things are lies,
Carl! Today, we'll know
EVERYTHING.
CJ
Oh, I can hardly wait. I hear
knowledge is truly sacred in this
part of the world.
THE TRUTH
Man, I've tried, but I can't fly
for shit. You better do it. Land
on the train, kill the guards, get
in and steal the stuff.
CJ
Oh, yeah. What stuff?
THE TRUTH
I don't know yet!
CJ
Oh. You don't know yet! I was
starting to think you was a
lunatic. What do you mean, you
don't know yet?
THE TRUTH
You'll be stealing the answer!
Look, fly the jet pack. Land on
the train. And steal whatever they
least want us to get. Shhh.
Listen. They're coming. We better
go. Peace on earth, dude.
///MISSION\\\
CJ is walking towards The Truth at the airfield, carrying the
green goo.
THE TRUTH
You got it, man?
CJ
I got something.
THE TRUTH
Let me see! Oooh... Everything is
different now.
CJ
What is it?
THE TRUTH
Everything. They will call this
'year zero'. I'll be in touch!
CJ
Wait! What is... Yeah, see you
around.
Las Venturas Missions (AREA)
The Triads (BOSS)
Fender Ketchup (MISSION)
Woozie is in the casino talking on the phone. A worker is
fixing a slot machine.
WOOZIE
(on the phone)
Idiot! Do you realize how much
those machines cost? We're
supposed to be opening in -
(to the worker)
What the fuck was that?
(on the phone)
Hello? HELLO?
(to the worker}
What the fuck is wrong with you
people?
Suzie and CJ enter.
SUZIE
Boss, CJ's here.
WOOZIE
Carl, glad you could make it.
CJ
So this is what you've been doing.
WOOZIE
Yeah, it's been a complete
nightmare. You want a stomach
ulcer, try opening a Triad casino
in a Mafia-run town!
CJ
The mob trying to squeeze you?
WOOZIE
Yeah - the corporations are moving
in and everybody's feeling the
squeeze. I've had slot machines
busted up, workmen being scared
off...
CJ
So who's behind this?
WOOZIE
Well, there are these three mob
families operating here, and each
of them has a stake in Caligula's
Casino and some whacked-out
lawyer's running it for them. It
could be any one of them, or all
of 'em.
CJ
Can't you just give them a little
something?
WOOZIE
No. In addition to the usual
authorities that need bribing,
each one would want a slice and
I'm not about to hand over all our
profits to some wiseguy Italians!
CJ
Our profit?
WOOZIE
That's right, you heard me. I want
to offer you a share in our
casino, in exchange for some help
setting it up. How does that
sound, partner?
CJ
Sounds like we got a deal then!
One of Woozie's assistants enter.
ASSISTANT
Boss! The boys found some thugs
trying to smash one of the
deliveries. We caught one of them!
WOOZIE
Get rid of him.
CJ
(to Woozie's assistant)
Hey, wait - hold up, hold up, come
here. Whoever's behind this - we
need to let them know that they're
dealing with fully-fledged
psychos. Tie him to the front of
the car, let him sweat it out a
little and I'll be out there in a
little while.
(to Woozie)
See if we can make this guy
squeal.
WOOZIE
That's my Carl!
CJ enters the casino's garage. Johnny is tied to the front of
a car.
JOHNNY
Hey, hey, who the fuck - who are
you? Untie me, huh?
CJ
You know what? I think we're gonna
take a little drive.
JOHNNY
What are you, fucking stupid? I'm
not joking here - untie me,
mother-fucker.
CJ gets in the car.
CJ
No, I think I'm gonna leave you
right where you are.
///MISSION\\\
The Triads (BOSS)
Explosive Situation (MISSION)
Woozie is in the casino playing golf. Suzie is holding the cup
that Woozie is aiming for. Woozie misses the cup but Suzie
moves the cup to where the golf ball is going. CJ is also in
the casino.
WOOZIE
Ha ha ha! The glorious sound of a
hole in one!
SUZIE
Great shot, boss!
WOOZIE
Thanks.
CJ
Not bad, Woozie.
WOOZIE
So the Sindacco Family was behind
the attempts to sabotage our
venture. I wonder why it's only
them and not the others?
CJ
Probably ain't just them. Rule of
the streets; don't snitch. What we
need... is to hit the Mafia
casino. Yeah, go jack the place.
WOOZIE
Hey, hitting a casino isn't like
gangbanging - it's a whole
different league!
CJ
Yeah, you're right, it'll take
some planning, but I'm down. Shit,
I always wanted to pull a heist.
CJ takes a shot with the golf club. The ball is heading
towards the cup but Suzie rolls the cup out of the way.
CJ
What the -?
WOOZIE
Bad luck. Listen, you're gonna
need a crew and some special
equipment.
CJ
Yeah, it'll take some explosives.
Always got to blow up shit to pull
a heist.
WOOZIE
You know what? There's an open
cast mine South West of the city
limits. They must have explosives.
CJ
I'll go peep it out.
///MISSION\\\
(On screen) Enter the Quarry and steal the dynamite.
(On screen) The dynamite is rigged to blow!
(On screen) Get it before the workers destroy it.
(On screen) You'll need something heavy to smash those crates.
///MISSION\\\
(On screen) Security is blocking the exit.
(On screen) Use the dirt bike and find another way out!
///MISSION\\\
CJ hands over the dynamite to one of Woozie's assistants.
CJ
Delivery for Woozie. Hey, you be
careful with that...
Heist Missions (BOSS)
Architectural Espionage (MISSION)
Woozie is in a room in the casino. CJ enters.
CJ
Woozie?
WOOZIE
Oh, Carl.
CJ
You could at least turn the lights
on.
WOOZIE
Oh, I thought I had. This window
here must let some light in.
CJ
Yeah, this is perfect right here.
This is where we're going to plan
the heist at.
WOOZIE
Anyone else coming?
CJ
No.
WOOZIE
Couldn't we have done this in my
office?
CJ
You gotta have a secret place to
plan shit like this, that's just
how it's done!
WOOZIE
OK, OK, I see where you're coming
from. So, what do we do?
CJ
I guess we got to make a plan.
WOOZIE
Speaking of plans, do you have the
layout to Caligula's Casino?
CJ
Shit. No. I guess I gotta go get
one.
WOOZIE
Meeting adjourned?
CJ
Meeting adjourned.
///MISSION\\\
(On screen) You can't photo the casino blueprints with the
guard around! You need to divert his attention.
///MISSION\\\
The fire alarm in the Planning Department is going off.
GUARD
Everybody out, this is not a
drill!
///MISSION\\\
A man is in the Planning Department with two policemen.
MAN
Where are those damn firemen?
///MISSION\\\
One of Woozie's assistants is driving out of the casino's
garage. CJ hands the assistant the camera's film.
CJ
Get this film developed for
Woozie.
ASSISTANT
You got it, CJ! Good work!
Heist Missions (BOSS)
Key To Her Heart (MISSION)
CJ and Woozie are in the planning room in the casino. CJ has
the layout for Caligula's Casino on a board.
CJ
Now I know you're blind, man - but
you gotta see this.
WOOZIE
Very clever. So what's the
prognosis? Is this just going to
be extremely difficult, or next-
to-impossible?
CJ
Hear me out on this, homie.
Alright, the cash room is on the
bottom level. There's a bunch of
rooms and a tunnel under the whole
building with access to the casino
floors at either end of the
complex. Alright? Now, security
consists of CCTV, a key code
access and, in places, a swipe
card.
WOOZIE
Hey, are you pointing
(at the layout for
Caligula's Casino)
again?
CJ
Oh, my bad - habit.
WOOZIE
Ah, don't worry; it's good
practice for when we finally get a
crew in on this.
CJ
Yeah, I know.
Suzie enters carrying a box.
SUZIE
Hey boss, this arrived for CJ.
CJ
Hey, hey hey hey! Damn, man - now
he's seen the plans!
WOOZIE
Well, then we've got our first
recruit. Come on in and shut the
door.
CJ opens the box that arrived for him.
CJ
Alright, cool. This is a security
card reader that Zero's sent over.
Now all we need to do is get one
of those cards...
CUT TO CJ outside the casino.
CJ
Luckily, there's always one
guaranteed weak link in any
security set up. The human heart.
///MISSION\\\
Millie exits Caligula's Casino. There is a man outside.
(On screen) The croupier has a keycard and knows the code,
follow her.
MILLIE
Another shift over! See you
tomorrow!
(On screen) If you get too close you'll spook her, but if she
gets too far ahead you'll lose her.
///MISSION\\\
Millie enters a sex shop.
///MISSION\\\
Millie is getting changed inside a cubicle in the sex shop. An
assistant is waiting outside.
MILLIE
Wow, it's nice and tight!
ASSISTANT
I'm sure you'll squeeze in just
fine! Let's have a look.
Millie comes out dressed in bondage gear.
MILLIE
Perfect!
Millie's phone rings.
MILLIE
Oh hi, Benny... Yes, master, I'm
just trying it on. You got yours?
Cool, I'll see you at my house in
a short while.
///MISSION\\\
CJ comes out of the sex shop's cubicle dressed in a gimp suit.
///MISSION\\\
(On screen) The Croupier has left the shop. Follow her but
remember not to get too close.
///MISSION\\\
Millie enters her house.
///MISSION\\\
Millie is inside her house. CJ is outside of it.
MILLIE
The door's open, Master!
CJ has now joined Millie inside her house. Millie thinks CJ is
Benny.
MILLIE
Come on in, I'm ready for you!
CJ
You've been a naughty girl!
MILLIE
Oh I know! I know!
CJ
Spit it out, filthy worm!
MILLIE
You'll never break me!
CJ
Hey, if you good, I'll punish you
more.
MILLIE
Oh Benny, you minx!
The camera is focused on the outside of Millie's house. CJ and
Millie are having sex inside. Millie is moaning with pleasure
while CJ is complaining about how sickening her sex acts are.
Heist Missions (BOSS)
Dam And Blast (MISSION)
CJ, Woozie, Suzie, Zero, one of Woozie's assistants, the
occupant of the room and two other men are in the planning
room.
CJ
It seems impossible to keep a
secret around here! I would have
thought the size of the room would
keep the numbers down.
MAN 1
Hey, speak up, we can't hear you
back here!
CJ
I appreciate your input, but
please, fuck off.
MAN 1
What did he say?
MAN 2
He said fuck off.
(murmurs)
Man 1 and man 2 leave.
CJ
(to the occupant)
Hey, what are you still doing
here?
OCCUPANT
I live here.
CJ
Oh, OK, you can stay.
OCCUPANT
Great.
SUZIE
Hey, where's the coffee and
doughnuts?
CJ purposely ignores Suzie.
CJ
OK, look, I'm going to go shut off
the city's power source. Woozie,
look after these fools for me.
WOOZIE
OK, now, the important thing to
remember with a plan like this, is
that... nothing can go wrong.
///MISSION\\\
CJ parachutes out of a plane. The plane crashes after CJ has
jumped out.
///MISSION\\\
(On screen) Make your way to the end of the dam quay.
(On screen) Avoid getting spotted by the guards patrolling in
the area
(On screen) There's a knife stashed near one of the containers
which you may find useful.
///MISSION\\\
(On screen) This is all about stealth, if you get spotted or
make too much noise the whole building will be alerted.
(On screen) When close to a generator press triangle to plant
the charges. You need one on each generator.
GUARD 1
(on a phone)
Any sign of him yet?
GUARD 2
(on the other end of the
phone)
Not yet, but we've locked the quay
entrance and the cops are on the
way.
///MISSION\\\
CJ is on top of one of the dam's towers.
CJ
Shit, they must have took a wrong
turn someplace! What the f... - aw
shit, somebody done locked the
hatch!
GUARD
(from under the hatch)
We've got him trapped, there's no
way off that ledge!
Police surround the dam. CJ dives off the dam tower and into
the water.
Heist Missions (BOSS)
Cop Wheels (MISSION)
CJ, Woozie, Suzie, one of Woozie's assistants, Zero and the
occupant of the room are in the planning room in the casino.
CJ is standing in front of the layout of Caligula's Casino.
CJ
Alright, here's the plan. It's all
about the art of deception. While
I get as much heat on me as
possible, y'all get away with the
green.
ZERO
Question: how does the Mafia
normally move cash out of
Caligula's?
CJ
Bingo! Stripes for Mr. Zero here.
OCCUPANT
Ha hey! Good job, you little ass
kisser!
The occupant pats Zero on the back.
ZERO
(moans in pain)
CJ
So, we're going to steal ourselves
an armoured car and re-spray it so
it looks like one of their regular
trucks.
SUZIE
What about the police escorts?
Whenever they move cash around
they use police motorcycles as
outriders.
CJ
Exactly what I was thinking.
C'mon, come with me, and we're
gonna go get some cop wheels...
CUT TO CJ and Suzie outside the casino.
CJ
You get the Packer, hit the Julius
Thruway and keep moving.
///MISSION\\\
CJ jumps off the Packer which has four police motorbikes on
it. Suzie and an assistant are in the front of the Packer.
CJ
OK, that should do us. Take care
of those bikes. Now get out of
here!
Heist Missions (BOSS)
Up, Up And Away! (MISSION)
The usual six men that are planning the heist are in the
planning room in the casino. CJ is at the front giving out
instructions.
CJ
OK, we got the bikes. And Woozie's
taken care of the uniforms. Now,
we just gotta get an armoured van
and re-spray it with the
Caligula's Casino logo.
WOOZIE
Why don't we steal one while it's
on its rounds? That way we can
make some money too.
CJ
No, I don't want to get the crew
caught up in some street level
jacking - it could get ugly.
ZERO
I... I have an idea? Um... Have
you ever seen those helicopters
they use to lift heavy loads?
SUZIE
Yeah, they call 'em 'sky cranes'.
We could lift the whole truck and
take them to someplace safe.
WOOZIE
Then we need to steal a sky crane.
Unfortunately I'm not a pilot.
ZERO
No, me neither.
SUZIE
Hey, don't look at me.
ASSISTANT
Or me.
CJ
Shit. I'll fly it, then. We can
re-spray it at the airstrip.
ZERO
Yeah, Carl. It'll be just like
fighting Berkley, only bigger!
CJ
Yeah, thanks for that.
///MISSION\\\
CJ gets out of the sky crane at the airfield. Suzie comes
along.
SUZIE
Heeey, CJ, you never cease to
amaze me!
CJ
Heh heh, good lookin', where's
Woozie?
SUZIE
I don't know. He insisted on
driving here himself. He could be
anywhere.
CJ
Ha ha, yeah I guess. Alright,
dude, I'm outta here. I'll see
y'all later.
The Triads (BOSS)
You've Had Your Chips (MISSION)
CJ and Woozie are playing cards in the casino.
WOOZIE
Hit me!
CJ
Are you sure, man?
WOOZIE
Yeah, I'm going for a five card
hand! Come on...
CJ
OK, here. I'm gonna stick. What
you got?
WOOZIE
How would I know? You tell me.
CJ
Not good, man. You got, eerr,
forty-seven.
WOOZIE
Damn. You're bad luck for me. You
know, when I play the other guys I
always win!
One of Woozie's assistants enter.
ASSISTANT
Boss, take a look at these two
chips!
WOOZIE
One's a fake.
CJ
That's amazing. You didn't even
touch them.
WOOZIE
No. I just took a guess. Why else
would he come in with two chips
and sound so worried? You take a
look.
CJ
Oh yeah. The dragon on this got
the sunglasses and a white stick.
WOOZIE
Insolent bastards!
ASSISTANT
I'll make sure the cashiers are
extra vigilant.
WOOZIE
It's obvious where these chips are
coming from! The Sindacco Family
owns a plastic factory across
town. I'm gonna blow it to shit!
CJ
Man, look, don't trip. I got you
on this.
///MISSION\\\
Two men are in the plastic factory. CJ enters.
MAN 1
Hey, who's this prick?
MAN 2
Somebody take care of this joker!
///MISSION\\\
CJ is outside the casino's garage. Two of Woozie's assistants
drive out of it.
ASSISTANT 1
Hey, Carl, how'd it go?
CJ
Tell Woozie, we'll be getting no
more trouble with counterfeit
chips.
The Truth (BOSS)
Don Peyote (MISSION)
CJ is outside the casino. His phone rings.
CJ
Hello.
THE TRUTH
Who am I speaking to?
CJ
It's CJ. Hey, Truth, is that you?
THE TRUTH
Might be. Might be a government
algorithm trying to pick your
brains, so don't admit anything!
CJ
Whatever, man. Whassup?
THE TRUTH
I need a favour, Carl, thought I
could cash in some karma chips.
CJ
Your credit good.
THE TRUTH
I took some fellow travellers deep
into the desert on a peyote safari
a few nights back. We faced the
inner light and communed with the
lizard king.
CJ
Sounds fun. How did it go?
THE TRUTH
That's the problem, I don't know.
I'm in Los Santos. I woke up in a
Japanese bathhouse about an hour
ago. I have no idea how I got here
or where the others are.
CJ
They're probably fine.
THE TRUTH
I don't think so. They were Brits
- a band and their managers. They
have no experience about the
desert.
CJ
OK, where'd you make camp? I can
go have a look.
THE TRUTH
I took 'em up Arco del Oeste -
fantastic sunsets. Best start
looking for them up there.
///MISSION\\\
CJ is in the desert. Maccer and Paul are laid out on the
ground somewhere.
CJ
Hello? Hey, anybody out here?
Truth sent me!
MACCER
EH! Over 'ere!
CJ
Hey, man, you all right?
MACCER
'Kin' 'ell, I'm fucking hanging.
PAUL
Stone me bloody crows. Where am I?
MACCER
I dunno, mate. I was having a
dream; I was wanking over some fat
bird's tits when this twat turned
up.
PAUL
Maccer, you fucking psycho! You
did it again, didn't you!
MACCER
That peyote was shite, you were
lucky I brought some tabs along!
PAUL
I've told you a million times not
to put stuff in my fucking drink!
MACCER
Oh, piss off, kidder!
PAUL
Who are you again?
CJ
Oh, I'm a friend of The Truth's.
He said you guys might need a ride
into town or something.
MACCER
But I'm a fucking raspberry!
PAUL
You're not a fucking raspberry!
MACCER
I can't feel me legs, our P. I've
wanked the use out of them!
PAUL
Just stand up, you soppy cunt. We
go through this every weekend.
Maccer tries to stand up.
MACCER
Ah! Ooh!
CJ
Man, what the hell was y'all doing
last night?
MACCER
Anybody got a rag?
Paul hands Maccer a rag. CJ turns away and sighs disgustedly.
CJ
So, where am I taking y'all?
PAUL
I've got a pal, Rosie. He's got
some casino gig going down in
Venturas. Sweet.
CJ
Alright.
Maccer goes to hand Paul the rag back.
PAUL
Fuck off, string.
MACCER
Oh, charming.
CJ
Alright, ladies, let's go.
PAUL
Come on. Fucking Northerners...
MACCER
Well it felt like I couldn't feel
them, honest!
///MISSION\\\
CJ, Maccer and Paul are walking towards the Snake Farm. There
are two hillbillies standing outside the Snake Farm.
CJ
Here we are, look familiar?
MACCER
Looks just like Salford to me...
PAUL
What are you talking about?
HILLBILLY 1
Take a gander at 'em fellas, is
that 'em?
HILLBILLY 2
That there city boy has gone and
been with my prize hog! Now I
don't even get no sugar from her!
Two more hillbillies come around the corner. A man and a
woman.
HILLBILLY 3
And that one done screwed my sis!
I've had a terr'ble aching in my
grinds ever since!
HILLBILLY WOMAN
I'm gonna slap you silly for
giving me and my fella the red
bumpies!
HILLBILLY 1
What'n tarnation? I'm a fixing to
give ya a whoopin' for what you
gone and done to my young 'uns!
///MISSION\\\
CJ, Maccer and Paul are walking towards Caligula's Casino.
PAUL
Come on then, let's go in and see
Rosie.
Rosie is in his room inside Caligula's Casino. There is a
knock at the door. Rosie's assistant opens the door to CJ,
Maccer and Paul.
PAUL
Kent Paul, here to see Rosie.
ASSISTANT
Hey boss, there's somebody here to
see you.
ROSIE
Oh, go away, I have a migraine.
PAUL
Oi, Rosie, son, it's me, Paulo!
ROSIE
Oh, God. My despair is complete.
OK, let him in.
PAUL
Rosiiieee! How are you, me old
son?
ROSIE
I pray that one day I can escape
my perpetual torment and retire in
peace and comfort a million miles
away from anyone I've ever fucking
known, instead, I get this.
PAUL
Come on, it's me, Kent Paul!
ROSIE
Well, hello, Paul, what a pleasant
surprise. Who the hell are these
guys?
PAUL
These are my boys - Maccer and
Carl.
CJ
Whassup?
MACCER
You want any Speckled Doves, boss?
I'm peaking on one right now. Top-
of-the-range, man.
ROSIE
Well it's fitting. As I sit here
up to my neck in a river of shit,
with every Mafia gorilla from
Liberty City to Los Santos pissing
in my face, that you, Kent Paul,
should witness it.
PAUL
What's the matter, son?
ROSIE
Too numerous, oppressively
insurmountable and depressingly
fucking typical even to mention.
PAUL
It's alright, bruv, Paulo can
help. Give us some space would
you, son. I'll give you a tinkle
later.
CJ
Alright, for sure.
PAUL
Not you, Maccer.
MACCER
Oh, you twat.
PAUL
Unbelievable.
CJ is outside Caligula's Casino. He phones Woozie.
CJ
Hey Woozie. I think I found a way
to scope Caligula's without
causing too much suspicion. We can
talk later.
The Mafia (BOSS)
Intensive Care (MISSION)
Maccer, Paul and Rosie are in Rosie's room in Caligula's
Casino. Rosie's assistant is at the door. CJ enters.
PAUL
Oi, Rosie, liven yourself up,
Carl's here.
ROSIE
Hello.
CJ
What's happenin'?
MACCER
Eh, there's some top fanny down at
that pool, Pabsy.
PAUL
Leave it out, dimlo, what's wrong
with you?
(to Rosie, regarding CJ)
Well are you going to tell him, or
shall I?
ROSIE
I'm really screwed.
PAUL
Crack on, Rosie - spit it out.
ROSIE
I threw it all away. OK, I had the
power, the money, the ladies...
But I couldn't lay off the blow,
so I went into rehab. And
everything went to shit, but so
what? So when I came out I started
representing the Liberty City mob,
again and that's how I ended up
here. But, no one family would
trust another family to run the
casino, so I was put forth as a
neutral party. So now I spend my
days waiting for one family to cap
me and blame the other one. My
only friend is a bird named Tony.
TONY
(the parrot)
I never fucked anyone over in my
life who didn't have it coming to
'em.
CJ
Shit - let me think about this.
You're gonna have to break it down
for me real quick.
ROSIE
OK, OK - the Sindaccos are on the
warpath. OK? I mean, something
terrible has happened to Johnny. I
mean, he's in a shock-induced coma
at the hospital across town. Now
the Forellis - they will take this
opportunity to rub him out. Now if
any hit between the families
succeeds on my turf, I will get
the axe, bullet, machete,
whatever...
CJ
OK, OK, relax. I'm gonna shoot
over to the hospital, and move the
body or something.
PAUL
There you go, my love, things
ain't so bad, are they?
TONY
Badabing.
///MISSION\\\
CJ enters the hospital.
RECEPTIONIST
Hello, Sir, can I help?
CJ
Yeah, I'm here to pick up Mr.
Sindacco.
RECEPTIONIST
Mr. Sindacco? There must be some
mistake. An ambulance just picked
him up.
CJ
Oh, OK. Thank you for your help.
///MISSION\\\
CJ is in an ambulance outside the meat factory. Johnny is in
the back. Two men come to collect Johnny.
MAN 1
Hey, Johnny, how you feelin'?
MAN 2
I didn't think he was going to be
discharged 'til tomorrow!
The Meat Business (MISSION)
Rosie, Maccer and Paul are in Rosie's room in Caligula's
Casino. Rosie is snorting drugs. CJ is also in Caligula's
Casino.
ROSIE
Oh, ha ha ha ha! Baby, I'm back, I
AM BACK! Let's get this show on
the road!
PAUL
The good Doctor has revived the
patient! Sweet as, my son, sweet
as!
CJ
So everything's straight now?
ROSIE
No! Absolutely not! I'm still
screwed! Absolutely screwed, but
at least now I'm in the right
frame of mind. What the fuck are
we going to do? Any minute now,
some Mafia bullet is going to
splatter my brains all over the
wall! My wall, my beautiful
wall...
MACCER
Ooh, you missed a bit.
(of the drugs)
I'll have that.
TONY
Forgeddaboudit.
ROSIE
Oh, that's a great idea, Tony, but
you know what? It ain't going to
work, OK? Not this time...
(mumbles)
CJ
Look, man, relax, get a grip...
ROSIE
Yeah, you're right, I need to get
a grip!
CJ
Take control...
ROSIE
Yes, grab the bull by the horns!
CJ
And show everybody who's boss...
ROSIE
I'm the boss! I-am-the-boss!
CJ
Alright then!
ROSIE
All right! Let's tear this town
up!
CJ
That's what I'm sayin'! So, where
we going?
ROSIE
Details, details! Let's just get
there!
PAUL
Rack them up, Maccer. What's the
matter with you?
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Rosie enter the Meat Factory.
ROSIE
What's going on? You forget
something?
CJ
No - look, you go on in, I'm gonna
wait.
ROSIE
Look, you gotta come with me this
once. If I pull this off, I can
carry on, I know I can, but
please, you gotta come with me -
I'm gonna squirt my ass all over
the floor! Just this once please-
please-please-please...
CJ
OK, OK - chill! Shit, this can't
look good. Listen, everything's
gonna be OK. Just remember; you're
the boss!
ROSIE
I'm the boss? I'm the boss. I'm
the boss. I'm the boss! I am the
boss!
CJ and Rosie go further into the Meat Factory. Two doormen are
guarding the door to Johnny's room.
ROSIE
Hey, boys. Tell your boss that Ken
Rosenberg is here to see him.
Doorman 1
Ken who?
ROSIE
K-Ken Rosenberg... Ken Rosenberg!
The guy that runs this town!
Doorman 1 goes into Johnny's room.
ROSIE
(to doorman 2)
So, uh, how's Johnny?
Doorman 2
He's doing much better, yeah. He
ate something this morning.
Johnny comes out of his room in a wheelchair.
JOHNNY
Heeyyy, Ken... Ah, Christ, this
fucking thing... Ken... Como esta
e, eh, how you doing?
ROSIE
Pretty good. And you?
JOHNNY
Ah, still got a little bit of the
night terrors, touch of diarrhoea,
but I'll get through it.
ROSIE
Huh, diarrhoea, cool! Yeah...
JOHNNY
And who's this...?
CJ steps forward.
CJ
How you doing, Johnny?
JOHNNY
It's fucking him... It's him! Oh
my God... Oh God... It's him...
Aaargghh! My heart! Euchh... my
heart...
Johnny falls to the floor, wheezing and clutching his chest.
CJ
Damn, that nigga's fucked up!
One of Johnny's men from inside the factory throws a petrol
bomb and the resulting fire blocks the doorway. Another one of
Johnny's men jumps over the fire holding a chainsaw and runs
towards CJ and Rosie.
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Rosie are outside Caligula's Casino.
CJ
Get in there, and be cool. Like
you been out for a relaxing drive
or something.
ROSIE
Calm, yeah, calm. I'm calm. REAL
FUCKING calm! I'm calm, Mr. Calm,
Mr. Calm, that's me, Mr. Calm.
Frank Tenpenny (BOSS)
Misappropriation (MISSION)
Tenpenny and Pulaski are having a barbecue outside a house. CJ
turns up.
TENPENNY
Hello, Carl. Been a long time,
huh?
CJ
Yeah, I was starting to miss you
guys.
TENPENNY
Now why don't I believe you? Get
over here! Now things have
developed since the last time we
met. Despite our best efforts the
gig's nearly up.
CJ
I'm sure you'll find some way to
keep your badge, your kind always
do.
TENPENNY
You still don't get it, do you,
Carl? This ain't about keeping
some fucking badge!
PULASKI
Hey, listen to the man.
TENPENNY
We're all the same, Carl - you,
me. We're all trying to pull
ourselves out of the hole.
Somebody steps on me, I gotta step
on you.
PULASKI
Where's Hernandez with that
fucking meat? He's been gone too
long, Tenpenny.
CJ
Getting a little edgy, fellas?
Tenpenny punches CJ in the stomach. CJ falls to the ground.
TENPENNY
How d'you like that, you piece of
shit? That give you any idea how
edgy I am?
The barbecue's flame blasts out.
PULASKI
Woah! What the fuck?
TENPENNY
(to CJ)
Get up, bitch! You paying
attention? Now there's a ruined
town out west of here, Aldea
Malvada. And there's some piece of
shit DEA officer meeting with an
FBI agent with a dossier. Now you
get the dossier and you make both
of them disappear.
///MISSION\\\
The Triads (BOSS)
Fish In A Barrel (MISSION)
Woozie and Suzie are in a room in the casino. CJ and Farlie
enter.
WOOZIE
Mr. Ran Fa Li. Gentlemen, can I
have your marks please?
CJ and Farlie sign the partnership contract. Woozie raises his
glass.
WOOZIE
Gentlemen, or shall I say,
partners!
CJ
Oh, I'll drink to that!
The Mafia (BOSS)
Freefall (MISSION)
Maccer and Paul are tied to the wall, upside-down, by their
legs, in Rosie's room in Caligula's Casino. Salvatore is sat
on a chair, with one of his men stood next to him. Ken is on
his couch.
MACCER
Top fuckin' buzz this. I'm peaking
on the blood pressure alone.
PAUL
Yeah, t'riffic.
Maria enters.
SALVATORE
Well, well, well... What have we
got here?
MARIA
Here's your sandwich.
SALVATORE
Who's this pretty thing?
MARIA
I don't usually do this kind of
shit you know.
SALVATORE
Heh, heh, heh. I like this girl.
What's your name, kid?
MARIA
Maria. And the service is not
included.
TONY
Pay the woman, you fat fuck!
SALVATORE
(to his man)
You heard the bird!
MARIA
Come on.
Salvatore's man hands over a few notes.
MARIA
Are you kidding me? See you later,
guys.
Maria exits. CJ enters.
SALVATORE
And who's this asshole?
CJ
The name's Carl Johnson, sir.
Before working with Mr. Rosenberg
here, I had the pleasure of doing
business with your son, Joey, back
in Liberty City.
SALVATORE
You know my Joey? I like that. So,
kid, what can I do for you?
CJ
Well, Ken'll vouch for me, I'm a
straight killer.
ROSIE
Oh, oh he, eerr, one man fucking
army! Real dependable. Total
fucking maniac, too.
SALVATORE
You know, the Forelli's are
sending over a crew to hit me.
Their flight gets in soon -
travelling as a string quartet. I
was going to send some of the boys
over as a little welcoming
committee, but, uh, maybe you can
take care of it.
CJ
Thank you, sir. I guarantee you,
you won't regret this.
ROSIE
Maybe I should go along-
When Rosie moves, the couch moves, so do Maccer and Paul who
are still hung upside-down.
MACCER and PAUL
Waaarrrggghhh!
ROSIE
That's OK, I'm comfortable, I'm
fine.
SALVATORE
You stay where you are, Rosenberg.
I don't want you getting yourself
lost.
///MISSION\\\
CJ jumps out of a plane, and lands on another plane.
///MISSION\\\
Frank Tenpenny (BOSS)
High Noon (MISSION)
CJ is standing outside a house in the desert. Tenpenny,
Pulaski and Hernandez pull up.
PULASKI
Carl! Hope we didn't keep you
waiting, holmes!
CJ
Nah, I was just chillin'.
PULASKI
Ha, I bet you were. That the
dossier? Hand it over.
CJ
Hey, everything cool now?
TENPENNY
I don't know, Carl. Eddie?
PULASKI
Our boy's done good!
Tenpenny hits Hernandez over the head with a spade.
TENPENNY
YOU SNITCH PIECE OF SHIT! YOU VATO
ASSHOLE! YOU SOLD US OUT! Time to
dig, Carl.
Tenpenny hands CJ the spade.
TENPENNY
(to Pulaski)
You take care of things.
PULASKI
Whuh - where you going?
TENPENNY
To get drunk and get laid - you
got a problem with that?
PULASKI
No, Frank, relax.
TENPENNY
Good. I'll see you back at the
precinct. And I'll see YOU in the
next life, Carl.
Tenpenny drives away. CUT TO CJ digging a ditch, Pulaski is
pointing a gun at CJ.
PULASKI
Awright, that's good - that's deep
enough for two.
CJ
Eddie, Tenpenny's just using you,
he's using all of us. You're the
next one he's gonna silence, man.
PULASKI
Shut the fuck up, scum! And it's
Officer Pulaski to you!
Hernandez wakes up and runs up behind Pulaski, Pulaski shoots
him and Hernandez falls into the ditch.
PULASKI
Fucking die!!!
Pulaski runs away.
///MISSION\\\
Pulaski is leant against his car, bleeding.
CJ
Not feeling so fucking full of
yourself now, huh?
PULASKI
Yeah, well them's the breaks...
Fuck...
CJ
Any last requests?
PULASKI
Yeah... can I fuck your sister?
CJ
You an asshole to the end. Punk
mother-fucker!
CJ stamps on Pulaski to finish him off.
Madd Dogg (BOSS)
Madd Dogg (MISSION)
Madd Dogg is on the ledge of a roof. Two men are on the
ground.
MAN 1
JUMP! Go on, jump! Oh, shit -
Jesus...
MAN 2
Jump! Come on, man, jump! You got
it.
CJ comes along.
CJ
Hey, what's happening? Who's the
idiot?
MAN 1
Some washed up rapper.
MAN 2
It's Madd Dogg! Used to be a real
chart-topping cat. Real playa!
CJ
Madd Dogg? Aw, man.
MAN 2
Jump! Come on!
MAN 1
He lost all his money in the
casino and went batso!
CJ
Hey, MADD DOGG! Whatchoo doing up
there, fool?
The two men are still cheering Madd Dogg on to jump.
MADD DOGG
Do I know you? I don't think so,
so shut the fuck up! This is the
end! It's over! Wuh - woah!
Ohhh...
MAN 1 and MAN 2
Oh shit oh shit sh shit he's gonna
go over he's gonna go over!
CJ
No, Dogg, get a grip, dude, get a
grip - you still got it! You still
gangsta!
MADD DOGG
I don't give a fuck no more! My
manager got killed, some asshole
stole my rhyme book. Shit is
rough. All the kids like this
"Loc OG" or whatever the fuck his
name is. Some fake ass gangsta
rapper bullshit. Liquor's my only
friend. Waah oh! Shit...
CJ
Come on, Dogg! You just need a new
manager, baby, you're looking at
him!
MADD DOGG
I hate y'all.
CJ
Just come in off that ledge, man!
MAN 1
Hey, don't talk him out of
jumping, we got good money on
this!
MAN 2
Yeah, good odds, too!
CJ
Damn, this town is cold...
MAN 1
Man, jump!
Two women come out of windows and onto the ledge to try and
stop Madd Dogg from jumping.
MADD DOGG
Stay the fuck away - stay the fuck
away!!! I'm the best rapper in the
universe! I'll jump! I'll jump!
Woah! Wa-ah-ah!
CJ
Oh, hell no! I gotta catch this
fool.
(On screen) Find a way to save Madd Dogg before he jumps!
///MISSION\\\
Madd Dogg is still on the ledge of the building.
MADD DOGG
Brandy, God-damn it, get the
brandy!
(On screen) Catch Madd Dogg when he jumps.
///MISSION\\\
Madd Dogg lands on the cardboard boxes in the back of the
truck.
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Madd Dogg are outside the hospital.
CJ
Hey, get yourself straightened
out, then we can get you back in
the studio.
MADD DOGG
Carl.
CJ
What?
MADD DOGG
When I get clean I'm gonna need a
new manager. Thought I might look
you up.
CJ
You do that, homie.
The Mafia (BOSS)
Saint Mark's Bistro (MISSION)
Maria, Salvatore, Maccer, Paul and Rosie are in Rosie's room
in Caligula's Casino. Maria has a knife in her hand, Salvatore
is helping her hold it. Maccer is tied to a board which Maria
is aiming the knife at.
SALVATORE
Just feel the weight of the
weapon, sweetheart.
MARIA
I can feel the weight of someone's
weapon!
SALVATORE
Hey, you're the one to blame on
that front!
MACCER
Can I fucking go now, or fucking
what?
Salvatore throws the knife at the board.
MACCER
Ooh, you fuckin' twat! Right in
the fucking happy sack!
PAUL
Perhaps you'll be cured of your
little antisocial condition, mate.
CJ enters.
SALVATORE
Carl, my man!
CJ
Mr. Leone.
SALVATORE
Looks like this piece of shit
(Rosie)
was right. You did a real number
on those Forelli losers. Now, it's
time the Forelli's found out what
it means to screw with Salvatore
Leone! How would you like to hit
the St. Mark's Bistro?
CJ
A hit in Liberty City? Cool, but
I'm gonna need some backup.
SALVATORE
Take who you want.
CJ
Well I usually use these two.
(Maccer and Paul)
ROSIE
Heh-hey! Remember all those jobs
we did together, huh? Huh? You and
me, Carl, remember, huh? You know
you used to call me 'Killer' Ken?
Ken the Killer? Killer? Ice Cold
Ken, that's me...
CJ
And him too, I guess...
CUT TO CJ, Rosie, Maccer and Paul outside Caligula's Casino.
CJ
Alright, you guys better get out
of Las Venturas, fast! I'll be in
touch.
MACCER
What about your backup, man, will
you be a'right without us?
ROSIE
Of course he will, you fucking
moron, come on!
///MISSION\\\
CJ enters Saint Mark's Bistro. Forelli's bodyguards are all
over.
BODYGUARD
Private function, invitation only!
CJ
Oh yeah? Well Mr. Leone says
otherwise!
///MISSION\\\
Heist Missions (BOSS)
Breaking The Bank At Caligula's (MISSION)
The heist van is outside the casino. The occupant of the
planning room and Woozie's assistant get in the back. Woozie
and Zero shut the doors behind them. CJ comes along.
CJ
We all good?
WOOZIE
Yeah we're good.
CJ
Alright, I'll see you at the
backdoor. Let's roll!
///MISSION\\\
CJ is at the staff door in Caligula's Casino. There is an
employee there.
EMPLOYEE
Ain't seen you 'round here before.
You new?
CJ
Yeah, I'm, eerr standing in for
Jerry, he's ill.
ZERO
(through CJ's earpiece)
Who's Jerry?
CJ
Shut up.
EMPLOYEE
What?
CJ
I... I think I got Jerry's cough.
///MISSION\\\
Gas fills up in the room with the safe in it. Two guards fall
over.
CJ
We won't know if that worked until
we get down there!
ZERO
(through CJ's earpiece)
Yeah, well, don't worry about it.
Right now we got a schedule to
stick to! Head to the security
door and use Millie's swipe card!
///MISSION\\\
The heist van backs up into a downstairs room. Woozie, Suzie,
Woozie's assistant and the occupant of the planning room get
out.
WOOZIE
Well done, Carl. Now it's time for
us to do our part! Try to stay
close! OK, team, I've gone over
the layout to this place so I know
it back to front. Everybody follow
me!
Woozie walks into a wall.
WOOZIE
Damn! the devious bastards have
changed the layout!
SUZIE
Don't worry, I'll take the lead,
boss.
WOOZIE
Good idea, everybody follow him!
///MISSION\\\
The backup generators explode.
///MISSION\\\
The heist team, excluding Zero, are in the room that contains
the safe. Woozie's assistant and Suzie plant some bombs on the
safe door.
ASSISTANT
Everybody take cover! Oh shit!
Where do I go? Where do I go?
OCCUPANT
Fire in the hole!
The door to the safe explodes.
WOOZIE
OK people, load up the cash!
///MISSION\\\
(On screen) Kill the Mafia whilst the team gets the cash.
///MISSION\\\
Zero is waiting in the downstairs room where the heist van
entered. There is the heist van and two police motorbikes.
ZERO
I've unloaded the police bikes.
Everybody in! You two, change into
your police uniforms!
Two of the men get onto the police motorbikes in police
uniforms. The other two get into the heist van and they all
drive away.
///MISSION\\\
(On screen) Follow the rooftops and collect the parachute.
///MISSION\\\
(On screen) Press circle when falling to open the parachute.
///MISSION\\\
CJ is at the airfield, as are the heist van and the two police
motorbikes. The rest of the heist team are also at the
airfield.
CJ
Zero, where you hiding?
Zero comes out from behind the back of the heist van.
ZERO
I didn't mean to tell Berkley, it
just kinda came out... is all.
CJ punches Zero to the floor.
ZERO
Will you watch it, you idiot!
WOOZIE
Hey, CJ, calm down! You better
take me home, CJ!
The Triads (BOSS)
A Home In The Hills (MISSION)
CJ, Woozie and Kendl are in the casino giving auditions to
people for shows. There is currently a midget auditioning.
MIDGET
(singing)
Don't hate the little man, because
he's packing a 6 shooter!
KENDL
Next.
CJ
Thank you.
MIDGET
Thank you? Thank you?! Do you know
how much balls it takes to stand
down here and sing a song like
that? It takes guts!
WOOZIE
I'm sorry. We're just looking for
something with a little more mass
appeal.
MIDGET
What could have more mass appeal
than a song like "Small But
Perfectly Formed"? Women want me.
Men want to be like me! Assholes!
The midget exits.
KENDL
You gotta be kidding me, right?
CJ
Damn! This casino game is hard
work. I thought it was just a case
of opening the doors and letting
suckers give you their money.
WOOZIE
If only.
KENDL
You know what? I'm getting bored
here. I'm trying to do business,
not audition midgets.
WOOZIE
People of reduced stature, you
mean.
KENDL
Yeah, yeah, I said that. All I
know is, when are we gonna get
some real talent in here?
CJ
I heard that.
Madd Dogg enters.
CJ
Madd Dogg!
MADD DOGG
CJ! I'm clean, dude!
CJ
That's good news, man. Hey, what's
cracking? You ready to take it to
the stage again?
MADD DOGG
Easy, CJ, c'mon, man. One step at
a time, you know? I'm almost ready,
but, but...
CJ
But what?
MADD DOGG
I want to go home now, CJ.
CJ
That's cool, man, I'll take you.
Where's home?
MADD DOGG
My mansion, baby.
KENDL
Yeah, I heard about that place.
Drugs, sex, all that shit.
MADD DOGG
Yeah, you know it - but...
CJ
Yeah, yeah I been there... I mean,
I seen it on TV.
MADD DOGG
Yeah.
CJ
Nice crib.
MADD DOGG
Thanks, playa.
CJ
We could do with a place like that
to set up in LS again, wait for
Sweet. Get things moving. Get out
dis midget game.
MADD DOGG
But, CJ... Come on, man...
CJ
What? I saved your life, man!
MADD DOGG
My mansion ain't big enough. Only
got 19 bedrooms, you hear? A'ight,
man, my mansion's been seized.
WOOZIE
IRS?
MADD DOGG
Nah, not exactly.
CJ
Who?
MADD DOGG
Nobody.
CJ
Who, Madd Dogg?
MADD DOGG
A'ight, Big Poppa.
CJ
Big Poppa! The drug dealer? Man...
you gave your multi million-dollar
mansion to a mother-fucking
pusher?
MADD DOGG
You know, CJ, these things happen.
I was powerless!
CJ
You fucking degenerate! Oh - man!
How much blow can one guy snort?
MADD DOGG
It's not my fault, CJ!
CJ
Man, I should have let you jump!
Come with me. All of you! We're
ALL going home.
CJ is flying over Los Santos on a plane with four Triads. CJ's
phone rings.
CJ
Hello.
KENDL
Hey, what's up, Carl?
CJ
Hey, Kendl, whassup?
KENDL
Nothing - just thought I'd wish
you luck. We're gonna drive back
to, uh, San Fierro first. Wanna
check things out there before we
hook up with you guys in Los
Santos.
CJ
Alright cool, you be careful.
KENDL
I'll be fine, I got Cesar and Madd
Dogg to keep me safe. You be
careful.
CJ
I will. I'll see you in Los
Santos.
CJ finishes the phone call and puts his phone away.
CJ
(to Triad 1)
Me and you gonna go in to clear
the place out.
TRIAD 1
Element of surprise.
CJ
So the rest of the crew can move
in in peace.
Two Triads parachute onto the helipad on top of Madd Dogg's
Crib and light flares. CUT BACK TO the four Triads and CJ
about to jump out of the plane.
TRIAD 2
(to Triad 1)
You ever jumped before?
TRIAD 1
Nah. You?
TRIAD 2
Nah.
TRIAD 1
When we land, we're going to feel
invincible!
TRIAD 2
I AM INVINCIBLE!
Triad 2 jumps out of the plane.
TRIAD 1
Hey, wait up!
Triad 1 jumps out of the plane.
TRIAD 3
WhaaaHOOOOO!
Triad 3 jumps out of the plane.
TRIAD 4
WhaaaHEEEEE!
Triad 4 jumps out of the plane. CJ jumps out of the
plane next.
///MISSION\\\
CJ and some Triads are inside Madd Dogg's Crib.
TRIAD
We're heavily outnumbered, but if
we all keep our heads, we should
kick ass!
The Triad's head gets blown off.
///MISSION\\\
Big Poppa gets into a car outside Madd Dogg's Crib.
///MISSION\\\
(On screen) You have taken back Madd Dogg's mansion.
Final Missions (AREA)
Carl Johnson (BOSS)
Vertical Bird (MISSION)
CJ, Maccer, Paul and Madd Dogg are in the recording studio in
Madd Dogg's Crib. Madd Dogg is rapping, Paul is flicking the
switches, CJ is stood around and Maccer is wanking.
MACCER
Go on... Go on... Come on... Come
on... Go on...
PAUL
Will you please leave yourself
alone!
Maccer carries on wanking.
MACCER
Oh, fuck!
PAUL
Oh, you manky mongrel!
MACCER
Ooh, sorry geez.
PAUL
You shouldn't be choking the gecko
in the first place! Remember what
happened at that gig in Hamburg?!
MACCER
That groupie loved it!
PAUL
That wasn't a groupie, that was a
roadie!
MACCER
But she had great tits.
PAUL
MAN tits! They were MAN TITS!
The recording equipment stops working.
CJ
Hey, what happened? Hey, where the
sounds at?
PAUL
I dunno, bruv, it all just went!
MACCER
You're fucking shite you are, P.
PAUL
I can't be held responsible for
dodgy gear, alright?
CJ
C'mon, keep it together, man - we
can't fuck with his flow.
A voice comes from a speaker from somewhere in the recording
equipment.
TORENO
Finally! I thought I'd never get
through to you.
CJ
What the... Toreno? Is that you?
PAUL
What's happenin' here?
CJ
Toreno?
TORENO
Listen; you gotta pull one last
string for me, OK? Communists at
the gate, Carl.
CJ
I'm tired of this, Toreno.
TORENO
I'm outside. Let's take a ride.
MACCER
Now I'm hearing things - fuck me!
CJ
(to Paul)
Hey, I gotta get out of here. You
got this?
(to Madd Dogg)
Hey, Dogg, I gotta go hit a
marketing meeting, I'm gonna catch
you later!
PAUL
Right, mind how you go, sunshine.
Madd Dogg carries on rapping.
PAUL
Yeah, sweet as... Come on. You
having that, Maccer, you having
that?
CJ and Toreno are outside Madd Dogg's Crib, walking towards a
car.
TORENO
Well, no invite to the
housewarming, huh, kid?
CJ
I knew you'd come anyway.
TORENO
Yeah, well, that's not important
right now. I'll bring you up to
speed on the way, get in.
CUT TO CJ and Toreno driving down a country lane near a river.
CJ
How long's this going to take? I
got my own shit to worry about.
TORENO
Would you like to see your brother
this week?
CJ
Yeah, what can I do?
TORENO
You just gotta steal a military
jet off an amphibious assault ship
and use it to destroy a flotilla
of spy ships, nothing big.
CJ
Oh man, you shittin' me.
TORENO
Would I shit you, Carl? There's a
boat. All the gear you'll need is
on board. I'll keep you briefed as
you go.
CJ
I ain't coming back from this one,
am I?
TORENO
Yes you are, don't be ridic- here
take this earpiece. Trust me, do
as I say, you'll be home for a
blow job and a bologna sandwich.
///MISSION\\\
CJ is near the amphibious assault ship.
TORENO
(via the earpiece)
Sneak in the back without being
seen. Once you're on the inside, I
cannot help you.
CJ
Well, can you help me now?
TORENO
Oh, well, no. Actually, no.
///MISSION\\\
(On screen) Find the control room to switch off the SAM sites.
(On screen) Steal one of the military jets.
(On screen) Try not alert the guards.
///MISSION\\\
CJ is in a military jet. Three more military jets are coming
towards him.
PILOT
Stolen aircraft; prepare to be
vaporized!
///MISSION\\\
Carl Johnson (BOSS)
Home Coming (MISSION)
CJ is in the recording studio at Madd Dogg's Crib. He is on
the phone.
CJ
I don't care 'how', I care 'when'.
Toreno walks up behind CJ.
CJ
As in 'now'. You hear me?
Toreno takes CJ's phone out of his hand.
CJ
Hey, man, what the - ?
TORENO
Hello, boss man. Taking care of
business I see.
CJ
Toreno, fuck you. I almost lost my
life out there for you.
TORENO
I've just got one tiny little
thing for you to do, then I'm out
of your life forever.
CJ pulls out a gun and points it at Toreno.
CJ
You know what? I'm tired of your
fucking little jobs.
TORENO
Oh, will you stop? This is
pathetic, come on. You're
embarrassing yourself. Come on,
put it down. Don't be ridiculous,
OK?
Toreno pushes the gun down.
TORENO
Hey, I got a little surprise for
you here. You ready for this? Huh?
CJ's phone rings.
TORENO
Answer it.
CJ answers the phone.
CJ
Hello?
SWEET
Carl, it's me, Sweet.
CJ
Aw, Sweet!
SWEET
I don't know what happened, they
just released me. No idea what's
going on, but I'm in the square
outside the precinct in Commerce.
CJ
Alright you hold tight, I'll be
right there.
CJ puts the phone down.
CJ
So what was that little job you
was talking about, Toreno?
TORENO
I just want you to go pick up your
brother. Get out of here.
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Sweet are outside the precinct.
SWEET
What's up, bro?
CJ
Hey, what's up, man?
SWEET
How you doin', bro?
CJ
I'm alright, man. Hey, man - we
off to our new spot! We got a
mansion, Sweet! We been putting in
work, and shit is going well. We
got a stake in a casino, we got
some insane shit in Fierro, we're
getting into the rap game! Hey
man, let me get you some new
clothes, c'mon!
SWEET
New clothes? Nigga, what the fuck
is this bullshit?
CJ
What you mean, man? What's mine is
yours, and you know that.
SWEET
You never did get it, did you,
Carl? I need to check on things in
the 'hood. Man, that's the
problem. You always a perpetrator,
running from what's real.
CJ
Hey, man, shit's fucked up there.
You don't want to be in the 'hood.
SWEET
No. That's exactly were I want to
be. What you done for our 'hood?
CJ
Man, what the 'hood done for me?
Always dragging me down. Ever
since I got out of the 'hood shit
been cracking! That's everybody's
dream, to get out of the 'hood...
SWEET
Man, you sound just like Smoke
right now.
CJ
Alright, man, you hard. I'm gonna
show you what's going on in the
'hood.
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Sweet are in Grove Street. A man comes running up to
them carrying a blender.
MAN
Yo', man, y'all want to buy a
blender? It's really good. It sort
of works.
SWEET
Man, what the fuck? That's Mom's
blender!
The man runs away.
CJ
Looks like baseheads have took
over the spot. Let's go home.
SWEET
This is home, man. Get these
fuckers out of Mom's house! You
was born in there. Damn!
(On screen) Kill any crack dealers in your hood to keep your
gang healthy.
(On screen) If a gang member is high on crack you won't be
able to use him.
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Sweet are outside Sweet's house.
CJ
Alright, let's get out of here. Go
see Kendl.
SWEET
Kendl can come see me right here,
at her home.
CJ
But it ain't nothing here no more.
SWEET
Rome wasn't built in a day, nigga!
CJ
My brother can be a real pain in
the ass!
Carl Johnson (BOSS)
Cut Throat Business (MISSION)
CJ, Maccer, Paul and Madd Dogg are in the recording studio in
Madd Dogg's Crib. Madd Dogg is watching TV. Paul is flicking
the switches on the recording equipment and Maccer is wanking.
CJ
Hey, what's up, Dogg?
MADD DOGG
CJ, what's up, baby? Word.
PAUL
(to Maccer)
Resist, sunshine, you can do it!
For me, eh? Fucking Northerners...
No, Maccer! Fight the urge! Think
of... Thatcher!
MADD DOGG
(to CJ)
You know it's my time again...
CJ
I know, dude. So what's holding
you back?
MADD DOGG
Woah, hold up, this his video? I
gotta see this fool...
CJ
Hey, man, you clean now. You got
nothing to worry about.
MADD DOGG
Man, that fake-ass LOC!
CJ
Loc? But he's terrible!
MADD DOGG
Mother-fucker... I knew there was
something familiar about those
rhymes he was kicking. They're
from my rhyme book! That's my
money! And those are my hos! And
that's my video he's shooting
today.
CJ
OK, I say we make a cameo
appearance. just drop in,
unannounced.
MADD DOGG
Yeah, that's gangsta. C'mon.
MACCER
I love you, Maggie! I love you,
Maggie!
PAUL
Oh, Maccer!
CJ
Oh, man!
PAUL
You ain't right in the head, mate.
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Madd Dogg pull up to the location of OG Loc's video
shoot. OG Loc is there, with a reporter.
MADD DOGG
You fucking phonies! Sum' bitch!
Gimme my rhyme book! Gimme back my
chain! Gimme back my hos!
OG Loc gets into a hovercraft.
CJ
He bustin' out! Come on, Dogg,
let's get him!
CJ and Madd Dogg get into a hovercraft each.
///MISSION\\\
OG Loc gets out of the hovercraft and onto a go-cart. CJ and
Madd Dogg do the same.
///MISSION\\\
OG Loc, CJ and Madd Dogg are in OG Loc's house.
MADD DOGG
You phoney!
OG LOC
Man, you can't prove nothing!
CJ
Hey, Jeffrey, you a buster,
straight bitch. You stabbed me and
my brother in the back.
OG LOC
Man, I'm an artiste! We all make
mistakes,
(to Madd Dogg)
ain't that right, alkie?
MADD DOGG
You ain't no artist! You's a
buster! You's a fake!
OG LOC
Man, I was going to give you
credit on the next album!
OG Loc holds some money out to Madd Dogg.
OG LOC
Here, royalties! Take that! I got
more, too!
MADD DOGG
Little bitch, I should just smack
dog-shit out your ass, break your
face right here, mother-fucker!
Jimmy appears in the room.
JIMMY
Yeah, you phoney! Heh heh heh heh!
Mr. Dogg, Jimmy Silverman,
Blastin' Fools Records.
CJ
Hold up, I'm the manager. You want
to talk, talk to me.
JIMMY
Oh, OK. Pleasure, gentlemen. Let's
talk, all right? I need hits. I
mean, hits! Now what about this
guy... this phoney... I've got a
good mind to sue his ass into next
year.
Madd Dogg pushes OG Loc.
OG LOC
Man, get off me, you drunk!
CJ
Hey, Loc - go get us some lunch.
OG LOC
You get lunch!
OG Loc bends down to pick up Madd Dogg's rhyme book, which he
dropped when Madd Dogg pushed him.
MADD DOGG
Excuse me, gangsta - I don't think
so!
OG LOC
Man - get outta here.
Madd Dogg pushes OG Loc.
OG LOC
Don't let him be pushing me! Don't
be pushing me...
Sweet (BOSS)
Beat Down On B Dup (MISSION)
Sweet is in his house with a girl.
GIRL
Just a little bit of party. I
heard you was down. So I gotta
gift from B Dup.
SWEET
Come on now, I can't do that.
GIRL
C'mon, Sweet, come on - make sure
you enjoy this. This is a rich
man's high. All the players are
doin' it. I know you're gonna
enjoy this. It takes the pain
away...
SWEET
Oh, yeah?
Sweet is just about to light a drug pipe when CJ enters.
CJ
Oh, what the hell you doin'?!
SWEET
Shit. Man, everything is 'caine,
'caine, 'caine. Man, I just wanna
see what's so good.
CJ
What's wrong with you, man?
SWEET
Man, this shit already destroyed
the whole 'hood. I... I might as
well let it destroy me, too.
CJ
Man, you don't need that shit,
Sweet.
SWEET
What do you know about this? THIS
is what it boils down to now.
GIRL
Come on, Sweet. Toke the smoke.
CJ
Hey, man, that shit'll steal your
heart. You can't see that? This
bitch talks nice to you and this
is what you do?
SWEET
Aw, fuck this!
GIRL
(to CJ)
You're going to have to deal with
B Dup.
CJ
What? B DUP? We can handle that
shit right now, man. Get your ass
outta here. Bitch!
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Sweet enter B Dup's old house. There is a GSF homie on
the floor. CJ bangs on B Dup's front door.
CJ
Hey, B Dup! Open up!
SWEET
B Dup!
CJ
Hey, open the door, punk!
HOMIE
Yo', Dup ain't here. Moved out a
while back.
Sweet picks up the homie and shakes him.
SWEET
Where'd he go, dickhead?
HOMIE
Yo' yo' yo', you're messing up a
cat's colours, dude!
SWEET
Speak up, fool!
HOMIE
Yo', I got something, a little
something, just what you need...
SWEET
I don't want none of that shit! I
oughta split your wig right now!
CJ
Sweet, no, you trippin', you
trippin', man - c'mon, put the gun
down! He a basehead, man!
SWEET
Shit. He wearing Family colours,
that's supposed to make him
somebody.
CJ
Look, fool, tell us where B Dup
is, and we outta here.
HOMIE
He lives over Glen Park way - his
boy always there, give a cat what
he needs.
SWEET
You're lucky.
///MISSION\\\
On screen there are five Ballas guarding a house.
SWEET
OK, the neighbourhood's sewed up
now.
CJ
No sign of B Dup though, dog.
SWEET
Check that place
(the house on screen)
over there.
///MISSION\\\
CJ, Sweet and B Dup are in B Dup's house.
SWEET
Say something!
B DUP
Hey, hey, no! I had no choice. I
was threatened! Shit came from the
boss, homie!
CJ
Pop this mother-fucker, man. I'm
tired of hearing his bullshit.
B DUP
No, man! I'm sorry, dog - Smoke's
fuckin' crazy. He's paranoid -
just sits in the house, thinking
other fools want his business!
SWEET
Where's Smoke?
B DUP
I can't tell you that.
SWEET
Then I'll snatch your fucking
tongue out!
B DUP
Man, I ain't saying nothing,
homie, 'cause I don't know! Only
his lieutenants know where he's
at!
SWEET
I oughta wet your shirt anyway!
Sweet throws B Dup to the floor and pulls his gun out.
B DUP
Bear! Hey, Bear! Get the fuck out
here!
Big Bear enters.
BIG BEAR
What's up, your lordship?
B DUP
Kill these mother-fuckers and I'll
give you a whole quarter sack. Now
handle that. Shoot them! What the
fuck is wrong with you? You ain't
hear what the fuck I said?
Big Bear turns on B Dup.
BIG BEAR
I'm tired of smoking, I'm tired of
crack and I'm tired of doing your
fucking housework.
Big Bear punches B Dup to the floor.
B DUP
Oh, shit! Man, what the fuck you
do that for, man?
BIG BEAR
CJ, man, c'mon, put me back on the
team. Gimme twenty bucks, and I'm
all yours, man. Blast from the
past.
CJ
Hey, let's take a ride, homie -
I'm gonna shoot you somewhere
you're gonna enjoy.
CJ, Sweet and Big Bear are outside B Dup's house. Big Bear is
in the car.
SWEET
I got Bear's back, man.
CJ
A'ight. I'll see you in a minute,
Bear!
BIG BEAR
Where we going, Sweet?
SWEET
Someplace where we can get old
Bear back!
BIG BEAR
A'ight. I'm down for that...
Sweet (BOSS)
Grove 4 Life (MISSION)
Sweet is in his house with four GSF homies.
SWEET
You gotta love your 'hood like you
love your homies. It's always been
that way, and ain't nothing ever
gonna change, I done seen it all.
CJ enters.
SWEET
Whattup, CJ?
CJ
Whassup? Yeah... I'm glad to see
things back the way they used to
be.
SWEET
Nah, it ain't like it was, but
it's gonna be. We still gotta get
everybody in the 'hood back
together. I was just telling these
cats what's important. We gotta
let everybody know: Grove is back
on the map.
CJ
Hold up - don't you think we ought
to take it easy?
SWEET
What?
CJ
You know, I got other things in
mind - commitments I made.
SWEET
Can y'all step outside for a
minute? I need to talk to him.
The four homies exit.
SWEET
If you don't get this shit
together, what you think this
place is going to look like? You
always did real good leaving jobs
half finished.
CJ
That's cold, Sweet.
SWEET
Man, we can't take care of this
from no bitch-ass rapper's
mansion.
CJ
Look, the world is bigger than
this 'hood.
SWEET
This is where our lives began and
where it's probably gonna end. And
don't forget where you came from,
mister uppity ass nigga.
CJ
Now that ain't fair.
SWEET
Oh - somebody just crossed out all
the writing on the wall.
Disrespected your 'hood. And you
act like you don't give a fuck.
THAT ain't fair.
CJ
OK. Have it your way. C'mon.
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Sweet are outside Sweet's house.
SWEET
You helped Grove Street Families
hammer them Ballas.
CJ
Johnson boys rolled right over
them!
SWEET
OK, dog, I'm going to get some
sleep, I'm beat. Here, I took this
from one of those Ballas fools.
Probably drug money - here's your
half.
Carl Johnson (BOSS)
Riot (MISSION)
CJ, Maccer, The Truth, Madd Dogg, Kendl, Cesar and Sweet are
all gathered around a TV in Madd Dogg's Crib.
MACCER
C'mon you bunch of wankers, this
is unbearable!
REPORTER
(on TV)
Officers Eddie Pulaski and Frank
Tenpenny, both hard working
members of a community policing
unit, have been charged with
racketeering, corruption,
narcotics and sexual assault.
KENDL
They brought it on themselves.
THE TRUTH
That bastard cost me my farm. And
he hogged the bong.
REPORTER
...conspired to kill fellow
officer Ralph Pendelbury who
threatened to turn state's
evidence and who was then found
shot dead in a supposedly
unrelated gang incident...
SWEET
I'd say 20 years.
CESAR
Try 5 years. Cops always get off
easy.
KENDL
Yeah, I heard that.
REPORTER
...retracted witness statements
and now the disappearance of
fellow officer Jimmy Hernandez,
and Officer Pulaski himself,
believed to be on the run.
CUT TO later that day.
REPORTER
Oh, wait, they're exiting the
courtroom now!
KENDL
That bastard Pulaski will probably
turn up dead, just like the rest
of them.
Tenpenny's lawyer is talking on TV.
Lawyer
...of the lack of evidence against
my client, the district attorney's
office has seen fit to drop all
charges...
SWEET
What?!
KENDL
That's bullshit.
THE TRUTH
You see? You can't trust the
system, man!
REPORTER
...surprise decision is wholly
unprecedented...
MADD DOGG
Oh man, there just ain't no
JUSTICE!
MACCER
I know, I've been arrested
numerous times for totally natural
behaviour!
REPORTER
...Los Santos will burn tonight!
SWEET
Ain't nobody gonna be rioting in
my 'hood!
CESAR
I don't know about that, holmes.
Look. The whole city is going up.
People are fucking pissed off
about this.
CJ
People don't know what they want.
We're all being used.
THE TRUTH
You see, man? It's always the
same, friend. Power systems
corrupt everyone.
SWEET
Look, I say we go secure the
'hood, we ain't getting shit
together so some idiot can burn it
down.
CJ and Sweet are outside Madd Dogg's Crib.
CJ
Shit's real fucked up, man.
SWEET
Yeah, but we gonna handle this
ourselves.
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Sweet are in Grove Street.
SWEET
I'm gonna gather up some homies,
and get the 'hood locked down.
CJ
You need anything, give me a call.
I'm gonna check out the city and
see what I can see.
SWEET
You be careful out there, CJ.
Sweet (BOSS)
Los Desperados (MISSION)
Sweet is in his house on the phone.
SWEET
Yeah, so get the place locked
down. No one's gonna ruin the
'hood. You hear me? No one!
Alright, see you.
CJ enters.
CJ
Whattup?
SWEET
We almost got the 'hood under
control, man. CJ, this is some
serious shit, man.
CJ
Hey, man, I know, man. I went
through a lot of shit for this
family since you been gone, so I
know...
SWEET
What? For yourself. Not for the
family. Don't get shit confused,
nigga.
CJ
Man, when you gonna give me a
break?
SWEET
When you stop acting like you the
man. You keep yapping on what you
done did, let me tell you what I
done did. When Kendl needed shoes.
I went out and got the money. When
Moms needed an operation, I robbed
people for the bread. While you
were off in Liberty City thinking
about your own shit. For five
years, come on man. Now you do
something, you want a fucking
parade? Nigga, please.
CJ
That ain't fair, man.
Cesar enters.
CESAR
Carl, man, I need your help.
CJ
Man, I'm kinda busy right now.
Family shit.
CESAR
I helped you guys, hombre. It's
time you helped me and my homies.
My 'hood's screwed up too. We got
this shitty neighbourhood on
lockdown now.
CJ
Alright, what you need?
CESAR
It's time to get my old gang back
together, push out those yay-
slanging punks, eh?
CJ
I know, but I got a lot going on
right here in my own 'hood, man.
And I made my brother a promise.
SWEET
All your brother wants you to do
is pay back your debts, CJ.
CJ
Alright, I hear you. I got your
back - c'mon, let's roll.
CESAR
Orale! The Varrio's coming back!
CJ and Cesar are outside Sweet's house.
CJ
OK, so what's the plan?
CESAR
We're going to meet three of my
veterano's over at Unity Station.
CJ
Three, is that all? A'ight, I'm a
get a couple of Family boys to
come through too.
///MISSION\\\
Three of Cesar's homies are at Unity Station.
HOMIE 1
Those Vagos, man, I'm gonna cut
those cacos.
HOMIE 2
Raspalo hasta el hueso!
CJ and Cesar appear.
CESAR
Hey, carnales, what's cracking,
holmes?
HOMIE 3
Cesar! And you must be CJ. Cesar
says your cool, so we cool,
holmes.
CJ, Cesar, and Cesar's three homies are walking towards
Cesar's neighbourhood.
CESAR
OK. We will have to work our way
through this neighbourhood to get
to my house. If we stick together
those Vagos pendejos won't stand a
chance! Watch each others' backs,
amigos. Hasta la muerte!
Three HOMIES
HASTA LA MUERTE!
///MISSION\\\
CJ, Cesar and Cesar's three homies are walking down an
alleyway.
CESAR
that was the easy bit, eh. Now we
go into the viper's nest. This is
where it gets tough. Luckily we
have a little surprise up our
sleeves, eh, Sunny!
CJ
That's a rocket launcher man!
We'll bring the National Guard
down on us!
CESAR
Look around you, CJ, the whole
city is a war zone! C'mon, I want
to take my house back!
///MISSION\\\
The group carry on down the alleyway. One of Cesar's homies is
on the floor, another homie is squatting near him.
CESAR
Shit, Hazer...
HOMIE
He is pretty bad, Cesar...
CESAR
More Vagos! They're coming over
the walls!
///MISSION\\\
CJ, Cesar and one of Cesar's homies are walking down the
alleyway.
CESAR
Let's fucking finish this!
CJ
I'm with you man, let's take these
punks!
More Vagos are surrounding Cesar's house.
VAGOS 1
Vagos rule this varrio now -
Aztecas are no more!
Vagos 1 sends a flame out of his flamethrower.
VAGOS 1
Burn, Aztecas, burn!
///MISSION\\\
CJ, Cesar and one of Cesar's homies are walking towards
Cesar's house.
CJ
Alright, that's the last of 'em.
CESAR
How is Hazer?
HOMIE
We need to get him to a hospital.
CJ
Hey, I'll take him.
CESAR
CJ, you have done more than
enough. You should get back to
Grove.
CJ
Alright ese, I'll see you after
all this is settled down.
CESAR
Thank you, CJ and good luck, my
friend.
Sweet (BOSS)
End Of The Line (MISSION)
Sweet is in his house. CJ enters.
CJ
Hey, Sweet!
SWEET
Whassup?
CJ
It's time for Smoke.
SWEET
Alright let's roll.
CJ
Johnson brothers fittin' to take
that fat fool down!
///MISSION\\\
CJ and Sweet are in a car outside Big Smoke's crack house.
CJ
Look, I know you down for this,
but I gotta go in there alone.
SWEET
What?
CJ
Smoke played me. Tenpenny played
me.
SWEET
They played us all.
CJ
Yeah, but you're right - I was a
busta when my family need me the
most. Hey, I let Brian die, man.
This one's for him, for Moms...
and for you, bro.
SWEET
For Grove Street, baby.
CJ
Yeah, for the Grove, baby.
SWEET
Hey - if you need me, you know
where I'll be.
CJ
For sure. You've always been there
for me, man.
(On screen) Security is tight in the Crack Fortress. There is
only one way in but the door is locked down because of the
riots. The only way past that reinforced entrance is to knock
it down.
(On screen) A heavy vehicle like the SWAT Tank will be able to
smash down the entrance easily.
///MISSION\\\
(On screen) Floor 1: Security Area
///MISSION\\\
(On screen) Floor 2: Drug Lab
///MISSION\\\
(On screen) Floor 3: Ballas Lounge
///MISSION\\\
Big Smoke is in his room on floor 4 of his crack house,
playing on his computer console. CJ walks up behind him.
CJ
Hey, Smoke!
BIG SMOKE
Hey, CJ, I was wondering when
you'd show up.
CJ
How'd you know it was me?
BIG SMOKE
Knew it was my old dog CJ. Knew
you was coming and I don't give a
shit.
CJ
I'm here to take care of your fat
ass, then I'm gonna take care of
your friends in the police
department. Where they at?
BIG SMOKE
Man, fuck this shit.
Big Smoke puts down the computer pad and proceeds to inhale
some drugs.
BIG SMOKE
Man, that's some good shit...
CJ starts to talk about Tenpenny.
BIG SMOKE
Fuck Tenpenny and fuck his Polish
lap dog, and fuck the police, man.
All that's old shit. Look at you,
you got the whole world. I ain't
got no regrets, man.
CJ begins to talk again but is cut short by Big Smoke.
BIG SMOKE
I made it, CJ! I'm a success. I
can't be touched! I don't give a
fuck. Fuck the whole world.
CJ
What happened to you, man?
BIG SMOKE
Man, what the fuck do you care?
Guess we better do this shit
then...
Big Smoke pulls out a gun.
///MISSION\\\
Big Smoke is sat against a wall, coughing and bleeding. CJ is
crouched down next to him.
CJ
Hey, Smoke, what made you flip out
like that, man? Was it the drugs,
or what?
BIG SMOKE
I got caught up in the money, the
power... I don't give a shit. Oh
fuck, man...
CJ
Why you just didn't quit, man? We
was like family, homie.
BIG SMOKE
I had no choice... I had to do
it... I just see the opportunity.
When I'm gone, everyone gonna
remember my name... Big Smoke!
Big Smoke dies.
CJ
Oh, damn, man... What a waste.
Tenpenny enters, holding a gun.
TENPENNY
Carl Johnson. My man. I need you
to do me another favour. You
killed Pulaski, and now this fat
fuck - there's no stopping you!
Drop the gun.
CJ drops his gun.
CJ
You ain't leaving here alive, man.
TENPENNY
Where's your brother at, huh?
CJ
Why you just didn't shoot me in
the back? Feeling exposed, huh?
TENPENNY
Shut your dumb ass up and load the
bag. C'mon, let's go, I ain't got
time to fuck with you!
CJ
So what it's like, Tenpenny, huh?
All alone, nobody got your back?
Suck, huh?
CJ starts loading Big Smoke's money into Tenpenny's bag.
TENPENNY
Why you think I'm alone? I got a
couple of rookies outside. But I
gotta open their eyes slowly, you
know - a little truth here, a
little truth there... A'ight, fuck
it, that's enough. Chuck it over,
I've got a firetruck to catch.
CJ
You're crazy man, you've lost
it... you're gone.
TENPENNY
Half the city is looking for cops
to kill, Carl, and I ain't about
to get dragged out of a patrol car
and get beaten to death by some
angry mob. Not tonight.
CJ
What you catching, a plane?
TENPENNY
Ding ding ding ding ding! Good
answer, Carl! You know, you're
gonna thank me one day, for
opening your fucking eyes. Oh! I
almost forgot, Carl! Time to die!
CJ
Uh, Sweet!
Tenpenny turns around, Sweet isn't there, CJ dives behind a
chair.
TENPENNY
What? Mother-f-
Tenpenny fires his gun to where CJ was but misses CJ.
TENPENNY
It ain't over, Carl! It ain't
over!
Tenpenny runs out of the room with his bag full of money. CUT
TO Tenpenny on a downstairs floor. He fires a bullet into a
piece of machinery.
TENPENNY
Carl, you mother-fucking piece of
shit gang-banging cock-sucker!
(On screen) Tenpenny has caused an explosion, the lighting in
the building is off and the whole place is beginning to burn
down. You need to get out of here quick!
///MISSION\\\
CJ dives out of Big Smoke's crack house as it is exploding
behind him. Sweet is outside. Tenpenny gets into a fire
engine.
SWEET
Tenpenny, you mother-fucking piece
of shit!
Sweet jumps onto the ladder on the back of the fire engine and
hangs on as Tenpenny is driving away.
SWEET
I ain't letting you get away with
all you've done!
CJ
Sweet, no!
///MISSION\\\
The fire engine with Tenpenny still in it goes over the edge
of a bridge and lands on the road in Grove Street. Tenpenny
stumbles out of the fire engine.
TENPENNY
Come on, assholes. I'll take you
all. You're mine! Mine! I run this
town! Hey, over here! Hey! Officer
down! Come on! HEY! Assholes! You
never understood what I did! Fifty
of me and this town would be OK. I
took the trash out! I DID! And I'd
do it all again...
Tenpenny is coughing on the floor. CJ, Sweet, Cesar and Kendl
appear. CJ is pointing a gun at Tenpenny.
SWEET
Don't... don't do it man, he's
gone.
CJ
I just wanna be sure it's over,
man. That's all.
SWEET
It's cool, don't need to put a
bullet in him. He killed his self
in a traffic accident. No one to
blame. Let's roll.
The Truth appears.
THE TRUTH
I mean, far out, man. You know, I
mean, you beat the system! I tried
for thirty years to cross over but
you've managed it, man. I mean,
man, you're an icon, man!
CJ
Oh - thanks, man.
KENDL
I'm just glad it's finally over.
SWEET
What's up with Smoke?
CJ
You know what's up with Smoke. He
always saw things a little
different than us.
KENDL
Smoke? Smoke was always on his
own, always out for self.
THE TRUTH
That is the surest path to hell,
man. Well - that or fifteen
microdots and an ounce of
mescaline.
CESAR
Let's go get something to eat.
SWEET
Sounds good to me.
Sweet, Cesar, Kendl and The Truth walk away. CJ stays and goes
over to Tenpenny who is laying dead on the floor.
CJ
See you around. Officer.
CJ, Cesar, Kendl, Sweet and The Truth are in CJ's house.
CJ
Now that everything is cool, we
gotta stay on top of our game.
Keep everything in check, but
subtle.
KENDL
We got problems in Venturas,
problems in San Fierro. Shit's
never ending.
SWEET
For sure. I mean, the Families is
back on their feet. But we gotta
keep shit tight cuz a lot of
people have got their eyes on us.
CJ's front door opens. CJ, Sweet and Cesar pull out their
guns. Rosie, Maccer, Paul and Madd Dogg enter}
ROSIE
I come in peace with Mr Dogg here
who has an announcement.
MADD DOGG
My, I mean OUR first gold record.
Everybody cheers.
MACCER
And I've decided to get breast
implants.
PAUL
Shut up, will ya?
CJ
Anyway, what's next?
KENDL
We should hit the casinos, roll
some dice with Woozie.
SWEET
Nah, we gotta take care of shit
here first.
MADD DOGG
We're going on tour, fan!
ROSIE
Has anyone got a tissue? My nose
is... it just won't stop running -
anybody?
MACCER
Yeah, I have, over here...
ROSIE
Uh, I'll pass.
KENDL
Carl, where are you off to now?
CJ
Fittin' to hit the block, see
what's happening.
Rockstar credits roll.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Written by Graeme Murphy, A.K.A. Omah.