-- Surviving. Living. Hoping. -- Recurrent Pregnancy Loss & Adoption

-- Surviving. Living. Hoping. -- Recurrent Pregnancy Loss & Adoption

A Constant Thorn in Our Sides

If there’s one thing that’s been a constant problem through our entire adoption, it’s our USA agency. (Note that I am not talking about our USA legal team – they are nothing short of amazing).

When we first found out about our match, we called the USA agency. (Note, they didn’t call us). We were simply told to call our lawyer as they could not assist us.

A few weeks later we got an email from them. They sent us a giant bill which was thousands of dollars higher than we agreed to months back. We have no ability to argue with them or even just ask respectful questions, we’ve tried in the past when they unexpectedly raised their rates. And rather then offering an explanation we’ve been told we should just be happy we are able to adopt. And at this point in the process they are holding all the cards. They know it, and so do we. We cannot fight them on this, so we swore amongst ourselves and just paid the bill.

And then, our next communication was when they told us the baby estimated arrival date isn’t a great. They proceeded to tell us that we need to hope the baby doesn’t come before a certain date, because it doesn’t work well for their schedule and they wont be able to help if it does. Ummmmm…..really?

Seriously though, how the heck can an adoption agency be this ridiculous?? Given the number of pregnancies that occur in the world on an incredibly regular basis, they should be aware of the fact that babies don’t arrive on a schedule and we have no ability to influence their arrival without medical need. Seriously! And on what planet is it appropriate to tell the adoptive family, who is paying them thousands and thousands of dollars, that they cannot help if baby comes at a certain date?!

Needless to say, I am disappointed and feel rather ripped off and jaded.

But, at the end of the day, so long as baby legally comes home with us, then I really don’t care how miserable they make the process. I just keep reminding myself that in the scheme of life, this is just a blip on the radar…..

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42 Comments on “A Constant Thorn in Our Sides”

This. This right here is one of the many reasons I don’t like the adoption process in the USA (I am American, so not criticizing another country here). This infuriates me.

If you really don’t think you’ll adopt again, or not again with them, I would take this as a formal complaint to the governing bodies here. This is not ok. You should be able to question a bill. You should be getting services you’re being charged for.

UGH. How frustrating. I’m glad you have a good legal team, but really? How do organizations like this even stay in business?! Here’s hoping you don’t have to deal with them too much. Hopefully baby will come on “their” schedule and there won’t be any issues!

What pisses me off most about situations like this is that they are taking advantage of you when you’re at your most vulnerable. It’s not like you’re buying a car and you can just walk away because the dealer won’t throw in satellite radio. #rage

Agree with Caitlin, look up the state’s DHS agency and contact them to either file a complaint or at least talk with them about what you’re experiencing to see if they can do that. If your contract does not state changes in the fees, there is recourse you can take and don’t let the emotions get in the way as they do need to follow the contracts legally.

I can’t believe they’re getting away with treating you this way. I know you have no choice but to accept it for now, but that’s crazy because what they’re doing is unacceptable! Definitely report them after your baby is home with you. I hate them for you!!! *hugs*

WOW. I am absolutely outraged on your behalf! They sound like vultures – taking advantage of people in their most emotionally charged/vulnerable moments to get more money. The adoption industry (and I hate to call it that, but it is) needs so much reform.

I know you can’t (and shouldn’t) do anything to piss the agency off right now, but I do think once that baby is legally yours, you should take some action (in all your spare time as a new mama, lol) to do something about these swindlers.

Wow, this is infuriating! They’re really taking advantage of you! I can’t believe that’s how adoption agencies work, it’s so unethical! You should pursue this legally later, if you find the strength. They really need to improve the system.

Ugh. That’s disgusting! It’s also SO not ok to tell you that you should “feel lucky you’re able to adopt” while they are being manipulative. I do hope after all is said and done you are able to have some recourse and share this experience with others so they can be held accountable! Until then, I’ll keep everything crossed that it all goes smoothly – no thanks to the adoption agency!

This is not okay. I am very disappointed in them for you. They should be there for any birth date without question and the changing of prices is unacceptable. I hope this is behind you and a distant memory very soon!!!

I just realized that might have seemed like a very typical litigious American comment to make…but people that exploit and profit off of people’s desperation and heartbreak really do deserve it, in my American opinion 🙂

This is crazy. And kind of why I question adoption nowadays (not a dig at you… I question the industry that preys on people’s desperation and makes a profit from “selling” babies). I cost next to nothing but an admin fee. I find it suspicious how anyone can justify immense costs and profit from the placement of children.

I had a very vivid dream last night (interesting since I don’t know what you look like) that you got your baby and got home and everything turned out great. And I’m not saying I’m psychic, but I had a dream I was pregnant the night before I tested positive and I had never had a dream like that before. I also predicted that a pot holder would fall of the wall THE NIGHT BEFORE IT HAPPENED, and it wasn’t like it was dangling or anything. I just said “Man, it would suck if that fell off because it would break my favorite bowl.”

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