If you take a look at my archives (don’t you do that on a regular basis?) you will note that there is a big drop off in my posting frequency starting in June. I mean 6 entries in August? 3 in September? 3 in October (so far)? What the heck? Did I run out of things to say? Hardly.

It was June 7 (ah-ha, the first slow posting month) when @mattsingley posted a quote on Twitter that came through my feed.

I’ve found that luck is quite predictable. If you want more luck, take more chances. Be more active. Show up more often. – Brian Tracy

It was the “show up more often” part that gave me a *PING* moment. And I decided to give it a try.

Because I had an epiphany:

I like hiding. I use my family, my distance from the city, my introversion, lack of money, non-professional artist status, as my default reasons for not showing up. And sometimes those are legitimate reasons, particularly my family. But lots of times, these are excuses. Because often the truth is I don’t show up because of the great unknown of what ifs–what if I don’t know anybody, what if no one wants to talk to me, what if I can’t think of anything interesting to say, what if the cool kids won’t let me sit with them, what if my idea isn’t good enough, and a thousand and one variations on the what if theme.

So that’s what I’ve been doing since then…showing up more often. Being afraid. Having my excuses and showing up anyway. Recognizing that my right people are there if I would allow myself to be there too. Letting myself step outside of “Here I am again, in the place of stuck that I always come back to.” I’ve had many a negotiation with myself. “Just go for five minutes, just say hello, just say thank-you, just pop your head in, just stick your hand out, just pick up the pen. That’s all I’m asking of myself, and then I can go back to something cosy.”

Sometimes, I’ve really only done that bare minimum and I pat myself on the back for doing that. And other times, I’ve gone way past the bare minimum with no further negotiations required. I’ve been going places I might have found a reason not to go to. I’ve been talking to people that I might not have talked to. I’ve fessed up out loud to having ideas. I’ve been showing up in my studio instead of the computer. And as the quote predicts, lucky things have been happening. It’s been like…well…magic. Suddenly I can see I’m in a different place relative to my dreams. Instead of spending my energy pining after what I don’t have, I can spend my energy thinking of next steps.

I’ve been establising an offline presence in the words of the always mildly brilliant Ken Roberts.

And part of showing up other places was showing up here less.

I also decided it was time to declutter my online world. My Google Reader was becoming a huge burden. I’d subscribed to so many wonderful, funny, thoughtful, well written blogs that I was spending far too much of my free time just reading other people’s stuff and never getting to my own.

So, in a surprisingly painful exercise, I deep-breathed my way through unsubscribing to fully half the blogs I was subscribed to. Half.

Would you like to know what I kept?

Of course, my family, friends, and any blog that’s been kind enough to link back to me.

and a couple of others that have kind of gone silent, but I’m still hoping for a resurrection.

It’s been SO freeing. Now, I follow people on Twitter to test drive them and occasionally check out what’s going on on their blog, but I don’t feel obligated to read EVERY SINGLE WORD published on the internet everyday. I go days without even opening up my Google Reader…or tweeting…or updating my Facebook status…and apparently without posting anything here.

But at least now you know why.

The power of showing up, in person, in real time — don’t underestimate it. Even if it’s showing up in your studio, or at your lap desk.

Oh, I’m not signing off completely Bullwinkle. And I do think that this is one of places to show up. I just am posting less than I did in the past.

And I’m not saying that anyone else including you *needs* to do anything. That wasn’t my intent to make anyone feel guilty. If you want to show up but don’t, I would give you a Havi-ism — allow yourself to not want to show up too.

@Havi Oh my goodness. What a pick-me-up after suffering from a nasty stomach bug to find your comment here! I’m ecstatic you like the tag line. (I actually think I excel in tagline creation, she says humbly) And actually, if memory serves I think it was one of your Item! lists that had me discover Maggie. So thanks, thanks, and thanks again.

BTW: Have been very much enjoying Dissolving Procrastination and listening to your teleclasses. It’s been a tremendous mind-shift for me.

It was the Fraser Valley Gilbert and Sullivan Society (in British Columbia, Canada) that did Iolanthe back in 2008. There was a DVD, but I’m not sure if there are any remaining for sale. I will enquire and get back you. Thanks for your comment. I loved my costume. Gosh, now that you’ve said it, I’m feeling all nostalgic about that show.

WELCOME TO MY PRECARIOUSLY BALANCED UNIVERSE…

...in which I ask important questions like "If I'm the centre of the universe, why don't I get my way more often?" and "What if the laws of the universe are merely suggestions?" and of course the key questions, "Have you subscribed? How will I know you like me if you don't?"