That is not OK

My friend Sarah, who fled Iowa with her husband in December (I’d tell you they fled the weather, but they moved to Alaska, people. Alaska.), was fond of saying this about things: “That is not OK.”

I adopted the phrase just for moments like the one I had yesterday, when I noticed that one of the ripening, red tomatoes on the Stupice plant was gone. Worse than gone, it was half-eaten, ragged with toothmarks and rodent spit, lying on its side in the dirt at the base of the plant.

I had pictures, but then the camera ate them. Whatever this premature gobbling is, it seems to be going around.

Eating the first ripe tomato before I get to it? That is not OK.

I brought in the remaining ripe-ish tomato – it’s pretty close to ready to go, but I had hoped, like Marc of GardenDesk, to leave mine on the plant until I could pick a truly ripe, fully edible tomato and enjoy every bite of it. It’s now on my windowsill, in need of just a day or two more before I’ll really be able to eat it.

“I’m considering buying a BB gun,” I said to The Mint Killer. “When they go after the tomatoes, it’s war.”

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14 Responses to “That is not OK”

I like a wrist-braced sling shot over a BB gun for this purpose. There are often ordinances about using firearms, sometimes even something as simple as a BB gun, within city or suburb limits. For example, here in Georgia, it’s illegal to discharge a firearm within 300 feet of a dwelling. I haven’t verified whether a BB or pellet gun would fall under the same restrictions, but wouldn’t want to rely on my local law enforcement officers to know the distinction, either.

Theft of the very first tomato is definitely not ever okay! Unfortunately, solving the issue with a BB gun is also not okay when the perpetrator is your fuzzy canine friend… so at this time of the year, until the first one is harvested and enjoyed, my pooch goes out on a short leash only. Ah well, at least she eats the whole thing, right?

I had the same problem when I lived in Minneapolis – those effing squirrels always take them about 1-2 days before they’re fully ripe. Try draping bird netting over the plants and anchoring the bottom with rocks. It makes it harder for humans to harvest them, but at least you can laugh at the darn rodents as you pick your fully ripe tomatoes.

Was it an effin’ squirrel or an effin’ raccoon? (my person favorite target) Pump the BB air gun only once and hope that you scare them there critters away – two pumps if you want to learn ’em good!
Or you can try a motion-activated water sprayer – a little more civilized in the gardening department!

“I thought about a motion-activated light, but I like the sprayer idea, too.”

Genie, if you go with the motion activated light, you’ll just help the varmits better find their breakfast, dinner, late night snack… I’m surprised they don’t wear those little hats with the lights on top!

I had this total visual of you with the BB gun and the effin squirrels/bunnies out in the garden with their BB proof vests on. LOL.

My father already gets up at 5am to stalk the effin squirrels at the birdfeeder. I could only imagine if he took up gardening..