Link, slayer of Ganon, abdicated the divine power of the Triforce and sailed the oceans seeking enlightenment. After being caught in a storm, he awakens on the mysterious, dreamlike Koholint Island, the setting of the 4th canonical Zelda game, "The Legend of Zelda: Dreaming Island", the first of the side-story games and the first of the "weird" Zelda titles. We discuss parasomnial metaphysics, theosomnial abiogenesis, and fictosomnial hypercanon.