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Weekly Updates: 05/05/14 – 06/01/14

Until I start training for the Zooma 10K, I figured that weekly workout recaps were a bit much since I was doing the same workouts 3-4 times a week. As I start adding new recipes into my repertoire, I will update more often than I currently am, this is trial and error for me.

05/05 – 05/11

Tuesday and Thursday were Pure Barre mornings. I had intended to go to Studio Poise on Friday morning but I accidentally slept through my alarm and I missed Friday’s pound class. This was the final week of my unlimited class package at Pure Barre. I have a few packages that I bought, but I am trying to use up other groupon and class packages I have before they expire!

05/12 – 05/18

Tuesday I went to Studio Poise for Poise Fusion Xpress, it had been probably two months since I have gone to this class. Most days I struggled through even the opening sequence because there was so much core work. Sticking with Pure Barre, and accomplishing the challenge were huge in helping me start to develop a strong core. I was able to get through the entire opening sequence without much thought. It was still difficult, but I honestly felt much stronger, and that was something I so desperately needed.

Friday I went to the Pure Barre Lynnfield Grand Opening Party with Jane, which was so much fun, and even though we didn’t win any raffle prizes, it was fun to see the studio in a different manner and to mingle with all the other clients and teachers.

Sunday I went to Poise Power Flow at Studio Poise, and honestly this was extremely difficult for me. Turns out the scheduled teacher was out, and Melissa, who I absolutely love, would be teaching. It washer first class back post-baby, and her due date was close to what mine should have been. A class that should have pushed and soothed me, made me frustrated and bitter. Everyone wanted to talk about new mom hood and the baby. It isn’t her fault that I felt this way, and I know that. My grief and frustrating with the situation hit me at weird moments. Would it have been as bad if I was able to conceive and know that I am carrying a child? Maybe, but maybe not. That’s the shitty thing about grief, you never know when it’s going to hit you.

05/19 – 05/25

Tuesday and Friday were back at Studio Poise for Poise Fusion Xpress and Pound respectively. It was my first Pound class back after a while and I had definitely lost some of my knowledge about the routines. Luckily, I seemed to pick it up pretty quickly.

05/26 – 06/-01

Tuesday was Poise Fusion Xpress followed by a few hours at the Zoo with B and a friend. We walked about 2 miles at the Zoo.

Wednesday morning I walked 3.5 miles with one of my neighbors. It is always nice to have a morning workout buddy!

Thursday I went for a 2 mile walk with my mother-in-law and B around my in-laws neighborhood. I was in CT for the weekend so I wasn’t able to get to a gym, but it was nice to spend a ton of time outside just walking everywhere!

Food

In my last post, I talked about my food not being so great, but I feel like I am in a great routine now, and I will post more about that soon. It definitely feels nice though to know I can travel and still be on top of what I am eating. I can also have a 20% meal and not feel like I failed myself. It’s all about progress.

I’m really loving that last bit about the way you feel about how you’re eating! Honestly confidence in an eating routine is so huge for making sure that a good routine is kept up. So often when I am beating myself up for a 20% moment it makes me feel tempted to say screw it to the rest of the 80%. But that’s counterproductive.
I’m sorry you’re still being triggered at unexpected times to feel the grief but it’s good that you recognize that the people around you cannot be blamed for triggering you. And that you can let yourself feel the grief, experience it, reflect on it. My therapist often tells me every experience is just a learning experience and a chance to gain new information. It often helps me to look at a moment of anxiety or sadness as a chance to learn what I can do better or how I can handle it better next time.

I know you know how hard it can be to not fall into this cycle of hating yourself for having a good treat. It’s nice to know that some people can relate, even if we are all fighting different battles.

It definitely was a learning experience and even though I love her teaching, the baby stuff is just too much for me still, and I know that I need to figure things out for me and not worry about hurting someones feelings.