Sunday, 29 March 2015

The STI Blame Game

By Melina Macdonald

Did
you know that there is a higher chance of catching a sexually transmitted
disease (STI) via Oral Sex then through good old-fashioned normal penetration
sex?

If
you are saying NO, which is typically over 80% you, I suggest you invest the
next 7-minutes of your life getting a fast education about how to have safe
oral and penetration sex (even those of you in a monogamous relationship), how
to experience your fantasies of threesomes safely and understand that this
should not be a scary topic! Lets also discover WHY figures are showing an
annual increase in STI’s and that NONE OF US is out of harms way of catching
one.

Modern
technology has changed the face of our sexual relationships with some people
utilising online platforms like Tinder and Scout to find a quick hook-up, use
Ashley Madison to have an extra marital affair, or Redhotpie and Adult
Matchmaker to satisfy sexual curiosities or find that perfect playmate for a
night. The typical ‘monogamous’ or ‘no sex before marriage’ relationship has
evolved just like how our family trees have evolved over time.

So when
we look at all the different kinds of relationships we have today you would
think that safe sex with condom usage would have increased over time for
protection. Wrong! The Australian Bureau of Statistics reports show STI’s such
as Chlamydia, Gonorrhoea and HPV are annually on the steady increase.

Australian
condom manufacturer Big Richard stated that research showed 53% of 16-24 year
olds use protection and condom usage declines as people grow older. Now do
remember that condom usage should be for STI protection not necessarily for
pregnancy contraception. So lets look at why this is happening by discussing a simple
sexual scenario.

Scenario

Man
meets woman. Woman gets her regular Pap smear and STI check-up and discovers
she has a STI. Woman decides to advise sexual partner/s and suggest they get an
STI test as to make sure they don’t pass this STI back and forth to each other.

Reactions options to STI conversation:

-Obtain medication from doctor and move on.

-Both start finger pointing accusing the other of
cheating.

-Treat the other like they are ‘unclean’.

-Relationship instantly goes bust.

Reality is:

-No-one
honestly knows who did what or who had what or who spread it

-Finger
pointing isn’t solving anything

-Treating or viewing someone as ‘dirty’ & ‘unclean’ is ridiculous

-Most people have zero idea about STI’s as they
prefer to have their heads in the sand about this topic

-There is too much stigma around STI’s so it is not openly discussed

Its
time to now have a frank conversation about why people just like you, yes you,
do NOT use protection like condoms or oral dams in all their sexual encounters:

People look at someone and assume that they
are:

-
Using protection or their other sexual partner’s are using protection

-Honest
& upstanding

and
my favourite…

-‘Clean’

or

-They are on the pill and believe this is enough
protection (The pill is not a protection from an STI only pregnancy)

-There is just no conversation or permission
asking at all before he plays ‘bareback’ and just pokes it in!

Then
we have the WHY he doesn’t want to wear one
‘bareback’ excuses:

- I can’t wait.
Your sooo sexy and turn me. Lets just do it.

- I can’t cum
with a condom on

- I can’t feel
anything with a condom on

- I’m allergic to
latex (this one can be genuine but there are non-latex condoms on the market)

- It will feel soo
much better without one

- Don’t you trust me?

- I don’t have any
on me

-Ruins the mood

- Aren’t you on the pill?

FACT about STI’s:

-Men are generally carriers

-There are commonly NO symptoms. In fact most people that have STI’s are completely unaware

-Some STI’s can lay dormantfor months
and years

-People are
uneducated or naive about sexual education

-Some STI’s can cause irreplaceable damage such as chlamydia when undetected

-They can be spread via sex toys that are not
cleaned properly

-Going from anal to vaginal sex spreads STI’s

-You are not ‘unclean’ or ‘dirty’ because you
have had one

-Over 80% of sexually active people will
experience one in their lifetime!

-There is a higher chance of contracting a STI’s
via oral sex. STI’s can be transmitted even when using a condom if
you practice oral, anal or mouth to anal sex

There are 3 main STI risks in unprotected
Oral Sex:

-HPV (herpes
simplex) 50-80% of adults have herpes virus 1 (also known as cold sores HSV-1)
with more then half of the new genital herpes are being contracted this way. It
is contracted through skin-to-skin
contact NOT via bodily fluids and oral HPV affects 1 in 15 Americans as per
studies done by The Center for Sexual Pleasure & Health (The CSPH). It is
the leading cause of oral and throat
cancer more so then tobacco!

-Gonorrhoea
& Chlamydia are the most commonly
transmitted via bodily fluids but are easily treated with antibiotics.

-HIV is
rare but can also be transmitted this way

-Hepatitis
and other bacterial infections can also be transmitted during mouth to anal
play.

It
is important to understand that most of these STI’s do NOT show symptoms
(asymptomatic) or signs of the infection. Studies by CSPH showed that 82% of
adults and 70% of adolescents do not use protective tools during oral sex such
as condoms or oral dams.

Whether
you are single or a couple all sexually active adults should be tested
annually. Unfortunately most people never ask to be tested for oral STI’s as
this is not part of the normal tests conducted. Even if you are using condom
protection however you have had multiple partners you should always be getting
regular STI check-ups every 3-6 months (depending on how frequently you have
sex).

How to protect yourself from oral STI’s:

I
understand that the idea of giving your man a headjob with a condom or your
lady using an oral dam is weird or just plain yucky tasting but today there is
some great products on the market that you can use as a flavour over these.
They are not only safe to use (as it doesn’t break down the latex component of
the condom) but is vegan and not harmful to your body (many flavoured
lubricants unless organic are not recommended).

I want
to touch on this topic quickly before I finish as this is a highly sort out
sexual fantasy for many and they are not sure how to go about this safely. Recently
I had someone who was talking to me about wanting to experience a threesome and
hiring an escort was suggested to them. They couldn’t get their head around
having an intimate experience with a prostitute. I advised that it is a highly
advised option and that other then the escort making sure that this is a
positive experience for all involved (this scenario can go pear shaped real
fast), that if they are working as an escort or in a brothel they are a safer
option in regards to STI’s (as they have monthly check-ups) then picking up
some random in a bar.

Conclusion:

This
is YOUR vagina or YOUR penis and at NO time should you expect someone else to
be responsibility for your sexual health.

The ONLY
person responsible for your sexual health is YOU!

So
stand up, make a doctors appointment, pee in a jar and from now on remember YOU
are the only person who truly knows where your penis or vagina has been so
ALWAYS slap on a condom and get regular tests and…