On the floor

Gender:

Male

When I was 12 years old, an orgasm happened to me inadvertently in the shower. For some strange reason, after or during this shower, as weird as it sounds, I got very tired — I don't recall any other reason — that I lay down on the shower floor. Then a little while later I started feeling this tingly sensation in my penis, because a stream from the showerhead was hitting just below my penis head. Very soon I startlingly sat up because my breathing became fast and irregular; I was a little scared! Upon my sitting up, my penis took a couple of "breaths," and two semi-eruptions leaked out the first ejaculation I'd ever had. Needless to say, I started taking most of my showers "on the floor"; then I was able to clean up upon completion.

I come from a very large, God-fearing Catholic family, and at that age I had never seen a penis outside the family. My brothers nearest my age were 14 and 16 years old, and their penises were larger accordingly. They'd show me theirs, and I'd think, Wow! If only I had one that big, or hair even! I am also true to my faith, and I fought my urges to masturbate the best that I could. I couldn't, with all my strength, pass a day without masturbating; each time when I was finished, I would say, "That's it — never again." I'm content that I fought "the good fight" as best as I could. I know that my habit would have been a lot worse had I allowed my life to revolve around masturbation and/or sex during school.

My brothers and I would just look at each other's penises; we never masturbated together or anything. It's not the road I/we wanted to go down. Not that I couldn't see sucking my brother's huge penis — it just didn't happen! We grabbed each other's penises but never masturbated to fruition.

I was a virgin until I was 19, when I went to see an XXX-rated movie (at a theater). While I was watching the picture, this guy snuggled up against me. Not knowing better, I allowed him to reach for my zipper, and . . . . It was exhilarating, but I had no idea that this was how many hook-ups start out. Being young and having a nice, slim, and sexy body (I worked out regularly), I felt intrigued and excited. I was also overwhelmed by the suddenness, and I knew that in my life this was probably going to be my way — for a while, anyway. And it was. I ended up years later, in 2000, having a short relationship with a gay man I met at a bar, playing the piano, after having had a bad marriage which failed — not from my gay hook-ups, which had happened when my wife refused sex when we argued, but for financial reasons.

I'm meeting women again because I think I can (and will) have a better future with the softness and gentleness of a woman. The guy I went out with ripped me off for $75,000, my having joined him in his own just-starting piano-rebuilding company. I've satisfied myself, though I know I'm going to have to fight all those hot and sexy different guys I come into contact with, even those cute-as-candy" 16-year-olds who come to my gym. I know that my heaven is going to feel like I do then and grow for eternity!

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