Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Struggling with cool

There once was a time in my life when it was effortless to be cool. Cool wasn't something you did; cool was something you were. But, like staying skinny on a diet of pizza and ice cream, or waking up presentable on two hours of sleep, that time is long gone. It's so long gone down the road that it's out of sight, the dust has settled, and I'm standing there forlorn, abandoned, and beaten. I know this because I am reminded of it virtually every single day by my teen-aged daughter. For those of you who have managed to get through life without one of those, believe me, you have missed one of life's greatest joys. I love learning at this stage of my life that I am hopelessly out of step and that my best attempts at, well, almost anything, are woefully inadequate.

Who knew? Do. Not. Answer. That.

Coming home from school today, my daughter was monitoring the music. This is an activity that she considers vital to the trip -- any trip -- and apparently it is a highly esoteric process with a number of variables, about which I haven't a clue. Numerous songs that I liked were being skipped, but when she came to "Somebody That I Used to Know", I said, "Let's listen to that. I haven't heard it in awhile."

"Oh please! That song has been done to DEATH! NO ONE listens to it now."

OOPS! Not cool. Whatever.

"I listen to it," I insisted. "They played it alot for awhile, but that was months ago. You used to like it. How did I miss that it stopped being cool?"

"You haven't seen this?"

And she took my phone and brought up this YouTube video.

And we laughed ourselves silly.

So, it seems when there are 6,000,000 views of a send up ridiculing how lame your song has become because it was too popular, you are officially uncool.

Andy Warhol once said that everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes. He was right. But I am from the era when people were famous for decades...or their whole lives. You got used to them. You could rely on them. Being cool wasn't that hard because it didn't change that fast. This fifteen minute stuff is really difficult for me to keep up with.

HAHA! When I was in the U.S. in September, driving around in Virginia with my 15-year-old niece, I brought up a few songs I'd just discovered and she LAUGHED OUT LOUD. She said, "Um Aunt Rachel, that song was popular, like, 6 months ago. Duhhh!"

The funniest part of the video was when the guys started making fun of the girl because it was just SOOOOOO much a guy reaction - AND I thought that was the best part of the song. I LOVE her. HAHAHAHA!

Music that is still cool after some 200 years: Mozart's Eine Kleine Nachtmusik, Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, Bach's Tocata and Fugue in D, Pachelbel's Canon in D. Music that is still cool after some 100 + years: Von Suppe's Poet and Peasant, Light Cavalry, Wagner's Ride of the Valkyries.Kids don't think these composers and their works are cool, because they have no idea of the amount of sheer talent these artists possessed. Instead, they think Fiddy Cent and Ice Cube have talent. They don't. They can't hold a candle to even the least of the students of the like of Beethoven, Bach, Brahms, Mozart, etc.

I am so happy I did not grow up in the age of instant gratification. Ah the buildings we physically tore down, the one I blew up(in to very small pieces), the books I read and the villains my imagination destroyed...

Over at Ace of Spades Headquarters, Ace has posted about a study done on ideal body types , as they appeal to actual men and women...or to t...

Of Fencing, Monsters, True Love and Miracles....

Grandpa: That's right. When I was your age, television was called books. And this is a special book. It was the book my father used to read to me when I was sick, and I used to read it to your father. And today I'm gonna read it to you.

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The Wisdom of

I know that there is more than one way to skin a cat, but there is only one right way. I know that one should never speak of politics or religion in polite company because it rarely remains polite after that. I know dogs are loyal, cats are jerks, horses are noble, and birds just annoy the living crap out of me. I know a good friend will always offer a solution when you need one; your BEST friend won't offer it until you're done complaining.

WHY THE TITLE?

"What does 'Stupid Is A Five-Letter Word' mean?" you ask smartly.

It relates to a long-ago evening with friends. We were sitting around talking before dinner. The discussion moved to a topic that has since been lost to time, but must have been about something ridiculous, moronic, and undoubtedly funny. With the insouciant flare of the terminally correct, one of my friends declared, "Well, I've got a five letter word for that!" She paused for dramatic effect, just the right three second beat, and said, "Stupid."

Frozen by her confident demeanor, we shared furtive glances, trying to gauge the proper response, before just simply losing it and laughing until we cried.

"Oh, good God. Stupid has six letters."

Yes. Yes, it does.

At least she didn't spell it out and still not realize the correct number of letters like the intellect of the Democratic party, Slow Joe Biden. "I've got a three letter word for you. JOBS. J-O-B-S. JOBS."