Castro Mosquito Vaporizer Zaps Capitalist Bloodsuckers, Mosquitoes

No, it's not a Commie WMD crafted in secret and ready to fend off Bay Of Pigs II by zapping CIA-funded Cuban exiles as they hit the beach. Instead, this scarily-named contraption banishes mosquitoes regardless of their ideology.

The Castro Mosquito Vaporizer works much like a home ionizer, electronically diffusing liquid Nomat indoors and thus killing any flying bloodsuckers that breach your screens. When used outdoors, the Nomat vapor repels evil-doing skeeters before they can put the bite on you, and freedom.

What's this "Nomat" stuff, you may be asking. Essence of Fidel's cigar smoke? According to our source at Japan Trend Shop, Nomat is "odorless and completely harmless to humans and pets, even those with sensitive eyes and noses." Hey, we all believed Colin Powell on Saddam's WMDs so we can rest assured Nomat is no problem. Nothing to see here, move along.

In any case, when you buy a Castro Mosquito Vaporizer (in your choice of white, black, green or pink) you get 3 bottles of Nomat, each one of which will provide bug-repelling power for at least 2 months. The Vaporizer itself features silent electronic operation with an LED indicator so you'll know its working and an auto-off setting that cuts in after 8 hours of sustained operation.

As this is a Japanese-made item designed for domestic use, foreign buyers will need an adapter to convert the 100V, 50/60Hz AC power supply to local standards. The Castro Mosquito Vaporizer costs us$81 each plus $22 express flat rate worldwide shipping and is available at Japan Trend Shop. Viva la revolucion, Nomat-er what!