Most people who know me know I’ve had a miscarriage. What they don’t know is I’ve actually had what some people call two “chemical pregnancies” and an eight week miscarriage. Call them what you like but to me they are all my pregnancies, my babies. My first two losses left me confused and lonely. I kept them to myself and buried them down where I thought I couldn’t feel them. I didn’t feel like I was allowed to mourn because they had been so early and the doctor had even classified them as “spontaneous abortions”. Even typing that phrase out makes my stomach turn. They were my babies and nothing less. But that’s what I did. I hid them and suffered in silence for every day after. My third loss broke me and I grieved them all all at once. [Read more…]

My husband and I had only been married for 4 months when we found out we were pregnant. We couldn’t have been more thrilled. We were both a little older, I was 32 and he was 37 and we didn’t want to wait too long to start our family. I had the most amazing pregnancy from the start. I had no morning sickness and everything went just like it should. We went for our 20 week anatom scan and were very excited to learn that we were having a girl! All my dreams were coming true! Everything looked good with the ultrasound, no problems. The rest of my pregnancy went like the first half. Other than some crazy heartburn and going to the bathroom every 30 minutes, it was perfect. [Read more…]

My beautiful Lyla Danielle was born December 4, 2015 at 4:48pm weighing in at a whole whopping 4.12lbs. She was the prettiest baby I’d ever seen, she was the only one of my children with my curls and she was still so perfect even though she was stillborn. This is her story:

I lost my beautiful son Jonah on Valentine’s day of this year. I found out he had an omphalocele at 12 weeks. An omphalocele is a fairly rare birth defect in which some or all of the abdominal organs are in the baby’s umbilical cord and do not go into the abdomen. Sometimes the birth defect is related to chromosome issues such as Trisomy 13.

One word can change two people’s lives forever. What better way for a mother-to-be to spend her birthday than knowing in nine short months she would have her bundle of joy. As soon as this baby’s parents found out, they were overjoyed of course and quickly agreed to a baby boy’s name: Jensen Grey. The baby’s mom knew the baby was a boy before the doctor even told them. They dreamed of holding him, kissing him, and watching him grow. Their dreams for their perfect family had already began to unfold. [Read more…]

My husband and I were so happy to welcome our first son in June 2012. He has brought much joy and laughter to our lives. When it came time for trying for another baby, we considered a three year age difference, but we were in the process of moving and it didn’t feel right. A year later the timing was right and I got pregnant right away in July 2015. Three days after taking a positive pregnancy test, I started bleeding. It was considered a chemical pregnancy since I was 4.5 weeks along, so I never needed a D&C and only had to get blood work to confirm I was actually pregnant and then not pregnant anymore. I remember feeling angry about having blood work taken three times over the course of two weeks. I knew for a fact I was not pregnant anymore but my doctor insisted on coming in for the third time. I wanted it to be over and to just move on. [Read more…]

It was a bright spring morning. The sky was blue, the air was warm. My partner and I sat on our front porch. I read our horoscopes. That’s when it happened. He looked at me and said, “I want to have a baby with you.” And so our journey began…[Read more…]

My first pregnancy was textbook, perfect. No morning sickness, no surprises. I actually delivered a beautiful, healthy daughter on my due date.

When I got pregnant again, I expected more of the same. I was so excited I began telling everyone as soon as I found out. A few weeks later, I had a persistent lower backache one day at work. I didn’t think much of it, but when I got home, I discovered that I was spotting. I panicked and called my doctors office, but it was after hours so I wasn’t able to speak to anyone til the next day. I spent that night completely terrified, researching miscarriage online. No one I knew had had a miscarriage, or so I thought. I went to the doctor the next day, still hoping everything was ok. They performed an ultrasound and my worst fears were confirmed.[Read more…]

My husband and I were married in August of 2012. It was a great day. We got married after three years of dating. We also took our time and decided to be just the two of us for a little over two years before starting to think about expanding our family. We were lucky enough to get pregnant in December 2014. Meaning our first little one was set to be born just after our three year anniversary and right around my birthday.[Read more…]

It all started when I was 30 years old and I was living in Branson Missouri last year. Hi, my name is Shannon and last year I found out I was pregnant. I was scared and excited at the same time. I always wanted a baby. I knew I would be a good mom even though the father was not involved.

In early November 2013 my husband and I learned we were going to be first-time parents. Our first baby. Everything went smoothly until 19 weeks. We went to our 19 week anatomy scan excited. We were going to find out the sex of our baby! Make big plans! Our life was never going to be the same! Well, only the last thought was right. During the appointment my OB told us she had concerns, and that we would need to come back the next day to see a Maternal Fetal Specialist. The kidneys – something didn’t look right with the kidneys. Also, was I leaking amniotic fluid? No, I wasn’t. [Read more…]

KatiMomma to Clara DawnBorn Still September 20, 2015Beckley, West Virginia

In June of 2010 I married the love of my life. I was freshly 20 years old and we had been dating for less than a year, but I would have married him after less than a month. He is golden to me, was then and still is. We decided we wanted to wait to start a family, spend time getting to know each other better, traveling, and enjoying being young and married. In October 2014 I went through a spell of fatigue and the thought of pregnancy hit me like a ton of bricks. I had an IUD, we had not talked about getting pregnant yet, I was scared what he would think if I was and I was scared for the baby if I was because of the IUD. My sweet husband wasn’t upset at all, it turned out we were both excited… and then bummed when I took a test and it was negative, so that made the decision for us it was time to get off of birth control and try to get pregnant!

I am sharing our story because my grief counselor keeps suggesting writing as a way to heal. I am sharing our story for other mothers out there who might feel alone in their grief, too. I am sharing our story because I had a daughter, and I want people to know about her. I am sharing our story because the memories and love for her are all we have left to share. [Read more…]

Cameron Wesley was a miracle baby. He was my second pregnancy, I was diagnosed with placenta previa and doctors told me I would have a c-section, which frightened me. Around 30 weeks, my placenta had moved and everything started to turn. [Read more…]

The news of our baby, the pain, labor being induced, together, this was too much for one person to comprehend. The doctor and nurses urged me to push yet there were so many questions. If my child is gone, what’s the rush? Why are they rushing when my body just isn’t ready?

The best things in life aren’t planned, or so I’ve been told. And that’s exactly what everyone said to me when I found I was pregnant just two months shy of my fortieth birthday. I wasn’t trying; on the contrary I was actively trying not to get pregnant. “Bob” and I had just decided not to continue dating. After a great vacation he’d called it quits at the airport. A few weeks later we got together for one last hurrah. And what a last hurrah it was, our son was conceived that day.

It was January when my older and only sister announced to us she was expecting her firstborn child. I was ecstatic and happy for her. By early March we sat around my kitchen table talking about her pregnancy and how I was having pre menstrual cycle symptoms, then she joked saying “Just watch what If you are pregnant too?” Laughing I answered “NO, we are not trying right now”. [Read more…]

About four and a half months ago [at time of writing] at 18 weeks I lost my son due to an infection called chorioamnionitis. I was told at one of my pre natal appointments I had the group b strep bacteria in my vagina, but they could not give me anything until I was in labor. About a month after I had my miscarriage, the doctor told me the infection is what caused my water to break early. The group b strep is what caused the chorioamnionitis. Finding out the physical cause of why I lost my son helped a little. The doctor described the probability of the infection as ‘bad luck’ and ‘ rare’. [Read more…]

May 9th was the worst day of my life. I go over that day, the ones that precede it and the ones to follow in my head again and again. Even six weeks after, there hasn’t been a day where I haven’t thought about those days. Each time, I go through trying to save my son over and over, only to realize that I can’t and he isn’t coming back to me. [Read more…]