And you thought there wouldn't be payback. Remember back in the
day when France, Germany and Russia wouldn't join the U.S. in invading
Iraq? There
is always a cost. And now the cost is lost opportunity. The U.S. decided
to bar those countries (and others) from bidding on $18 billion worth
of Iraq reconstruction contracts (more for Halliburton, we guess). And
get this -- the day after that happens, President Bush calls the leaders
of France, Germany and Russia to ask them to forgive Iraq's debts. Are
you kidding? The Black Table imagines it would be eminently satisfying
to hang up on the President of the United States.

The Pentagon said bidding would only be open to the 63 countries that
have contributed militarily or politically to the Iraq war. Everyone else
(even dorky, friendly Canada) gets dissed. The Pentagon snootily explained
that the restrictions were necessary "for the protection of the essential
security interests of the United States." No one's buying, Pentagon.
Not even Canada. And they'll believe anything.

Gore supports another monosyllabic name. Former Vice President
Al
Gore endorsed Democratic presidential hopeful Howard Dean in a surprise
announcement on Tuesday. Joe Lieberman, Gore's running mate in the 2000
election, didn't even get a phone call. Ouch. Gore said Dean "really
is the only candidate who has been able to inspire at the grassroots level
all over the country." The endorsement came five weeks before the
Iowa caucuses, the official start of the primary race. In Iowa, Dean and
Rep. "Not Richard but Dick" Gephardt are running close. Dean
and Gore appeared together in Iowa and Harlem (How different can you get
in a day? Where'd they go after that? Utah?) on Wednesday to officially
announce the endorsement. Lieberman stayed home and fought an overwhelming
desire to drink Jack Daniels straight from the bottle and listen to Metallica's
"One" on repeat.

Hey Europe -- just Xerox ours, okay? Poland threatened to veto
a new European
Union constitution if it isn't allowed as many votes as other member
nations. Poland plans to join the EU next year. Poland is supposed to
have 27 votes on the EU Council of Ministers. France and Germany, both
of which have bigger populations, will get 29 votes. A new plan to distribute
votes according to population is on the table, and Poland could lose the
strength of its influence. Spain is also peeved about the proposed rules,
but is blaming Italy for not dealing with the dispute. Italy now holds
the EU's rotating presidency. No is impressed with Poland threatening
to veto club rules before it's even a member, but the threat is worrisome
to other EU member nations. Leaders hoped to work everything out before
this weekend's summit, but a solution does not look likely. The Black
Table suggests Europe just borrow the U.S. constitution, crossing out
"United States of America" and replacing it with "Europe."
It's much easier that way.

Invest like its 2002. The Dow Jones Industrial Average crossed
the 10,000 line Thursday for the first time in 18 months. Not since
May 24, 2002, has the Dow closed above 10,000. The market spiked despite
bad news in employment indicators - jobless claims rose by 13,000 applicants
to 378,000 in November. Retail sales increased 0.9 percent, when analysts
expected sales to rise only 0.7 percent. They dipped 0.3 percent in October.
Though manufacturing jobs continue to dwindle, Bush's tax cuts did give
the economy some electroshock treatments, which are always good for the
short term. Let's hope it lasts. The Black Table has lots of lots of cats
to feed in retirement.

Aileen Gallagher, author of three
children's books, (and another one, about muckraking, on the way!)
writes Weekly Rundown every Friday.