Toys for Boys: A Trans Men’s Buyer’s Guide

Hard packies, soft packies, packing straps, and the mindset that one size does not indeed fit all – if you’re looking for a new cock, we’ve got you covered.

Intro

When I told my brother that I was a dude, he took it upon himself to teach me a great many things about the world of “manhood” that I missed out on by not being raised a boy. Shaving without nicking myself? Check. Stare straight down and talk to no one while in the men’s room? Check. Enjoy watching football? Not so much, but not for lack of his attempts to teach me. One thing he couldn’t teach me, though, was how to pick out a cock. Many trans men feel uncomfortable or unidentified with the genital cards they were dealt. They end up looking for something that can help them feel more identified with their bodies in sex, such as an attachment or prosthetic cock. But there are so many options! This guide will help you or the trans man you know to muddle through the multitudes and find the perfect cock.

When it comes to choosing a new cock, there are a handful of factors to take into consideration. All these questions can help decide what cock is best for you.

- What material do you want your cock to be?

- Do you want it to look realistic, with balls and veins and a natural skin tone, or do you want it designed with shock value in mind, some bright pink or shocking tone of blue?

- Do you, the wearer, want to be penetrated as you penetrate someone else?

- Do you want to feel vibration as you penetrate your partner? What size do you want your cock to be?

- Do you want to take it out on the town, tucked into boxer briefs before whipping it out in a moment of passion?

Let’s start by talking about material. Though Michelangelo’s David is certainly stunning, we probably don’t all want cocks of ivory. Cocks generally come in a few different materials, which can be ranked in terms of how well they can be sterilized as well as by how realistic they feel. The cocks you can sterilize best are going to be made of silicone while different folks have different feelings about how materials rank in terms of how realistic they feel. At the top of both totem poles, in terms of popularity, is VixSkin, made by Vixen Creations. VixSkin is a brand name type of silicone (yes, 100% silicone, not a silicone mix) and is therefore totally sterilizable if you stick it in boiling water for about 30 seconds. It’s also known for being particularly realistic. It warms to the touch and has softness to it that your average hunk of silicone doesn’t have. VixSkin cocks usually involve a firmer silicone core with the outer layer of silicone being this special VixSkin brand variety. Popular VixSkin cocks are the Tex and the Goodfella.

Other silicone dildos can also be sterilized and come in a variety of realistic and unrealistic incarnations. One popular silicone brand is Tantus, who make the Feeldoe, a double headed cock that comes in only bright colors and which we’ll talk more about later. On the more realistic end of cocks, Lucky, by Happy Valley, shows very impressive detail, as does the John Doe, by Tantus.

Next down the totem pole in sterilizability are silicone composites. This is a less popular material for cocks though some do exist. One popular silicone composite used in cocks is Cyberskin, which is popular because folks feel it is more realistic than any other material out there. The Cyber Cock, by Topco, for instance, is a popular CyberSkin cock. While Cyberskin cannot be sterilized, it is phthalate-free and is therefore much safer than toys made of jelly or any number of other less safe materials, most of which aren’t carried on EdenFantasys.

Freud had lots of interesting things to say about cocks, from penis envy to castration fantasies. One thing I don’t think he mentioned was the man who wanted to penetrate his partner while simultaneously being penetrated himself. Nonetheless, the option is available and many trans men love it. Most cocks are made for those who don’t want to be penetrated. But many men complain that they don’t feel stimulated when they penetrate their partners and that this is a frustratingly distant way to experience sex. For those of you who feel this way, or just plain enjoy penetration, two popular options are the Feeldoe by Tantus, and the Share by Fun Factory. Both are made of pure silicone and both fit into a standard o-ring harness. The idea behind these cocks is that you insert the shorter, thicker end into yourself (either hole works- some men who feel dysphorically towards the one have tried inserting it anally and enjoyed it greatly) and get penetrative stimulation while penetrating your partner with the longer, more slender end. The Feeldoe has raised ridges that some men enjoy feeling rub against their ftm dicks, while others find it a little uncomfortable (lube tends to help those men who find it uncomfortable). The Share comes in one size while the Feeldoe allows you to choose among different girths and lengths. The Nexus Sr. and Nexus Jr., by Vixen Creations, are also popular members of this club. Finally, if none of these options appeal, you can also make a homemade double-cock with some harnesses, like the Spareparts Joque harness, which accommodate two cocks with one facing each partner.

The birds and the bzzz of cocks are fairly simple. For those of you who would like to feel vibration as you penetrate your partner, the Perk by Happy Valley, is popular (particularly for anal penetration), as is the Vibrating Champlette by Vixen Creations. Keep in mind, though, that silicone conducts vibration well so your partner will be feeling it, too. For those of you looking for vibration and penetration, the Feeldoe is your best bet as it comes with a vibrating bullet.

On American Gladiators, it’s always a miracle when the contestant, who’s about ¼ the size of the gladiators, manages to eke out a win. Cocks are the same way: sometimes bigger is better. Other times, though, all that extra size just gets in the way of climbing that rock wall. Many trans men struggle with finding a good cock that isn’t as huge as those which many sex toy stores display prominently. Maybe you don’t identify as well-endowed. Maybe your partner doesn’t want something that big. Maybe you like being penetrated yourself and aren’t quite ready for the nine-inch monsters you’ve seen staring down at you from store shelves (or web pages). Never fear! Smaller cocks are here. Boy 1, by Downunder toys, has relatively meager girth, and, while generally marketed for anal play, can be used for any hole you please. The Throb, by Tantus, is also quite popular, coming in at 5 and ¾ inches insertable length and 1 and ¼ diameter. For the guys who do want size, a number of Vixskin cocks have serious girth. Regardless of the size cock you want, you can limit your search by girth or length in the panel to the left of search results—try it out!

Some guys want their cocks to salute on the double, with no time lost. Others want their dancing partners to feel their excitement with every move, shake and drop on the dance floor. For you, we have the pack-and-play cocks. These cocks function using a flexible internal spine which can be bent up for packing and then bent out for playing. The most popular one by far, a cock which gets high ratings on any number of scales from material to function, is the Goodfella, by Vixen Creations. A cheaper but also quite popular alternative is the Silky, by Vibratex. A word of warning, though: these cocks aren’t for the impatient. Folks say they take some getting used to and probably shouldn’t be your first cock. In addition, the spines tend to wear out after about a year of regular use, so plan on replacing this one about that frequently if you pack and play with it often. Finally, some men complain that these cocks aren’t firm enough for anal penetration, so be aware that this may not be the best idea if you plan to penetrate someone anally later.

The next stop on your journey, if you’ve found yourself the perfect prosthetic cock, is attaching it. Now, some cocks, like the Feeldoe or Share, can be held in place by Kegel muscles. Nonetheless, many men prefer to use them with a harness of some sort. There’s a whole lot of information about harness materials and styles that you can find in the Buyers Guide to Harnesses, but I’m going to address the issues of finding a harness more specific to trans men.

Now, some of us are more Superman types who want everything covered at all times. Others of us take after Daniel Ratcliffe in Equus, and are pretty happy showing what we’ve got. You’ll want to consider how much or how little you want of your genitalia showing when you’re wearing the harness. If you’re not interested in any of your bits showing during sex, many harnesses come with leather or vinyl panels that can sit behind the o-ring and block most of what you don’t want showing. If this isn’t enough, you can also wear any harness under a pair of briefs and pop the cock out for use.

If you’re one of those in-a-hurry types who gets EZ Pass fines because he goes through the checks too quickly, you’ll probably want a harness which can be attached quickly. Many guys are interested in minimizing the emphasis put on this step of the process and want it to pass as quickly as possible. On the cheap end, your best bet is a nylon harness like the Extreme Harness by Rachel’s Pleasures that has plastic quick release buckles rather than nylon cinchers (aka, d-rings). While either type of harness is secure and easily adjusted, many trans men prefer the buckles since they can be adjusted ahead of time and then just snapped into place. Another harness that is particularly popular among trans men, in part for its ease of attachment, is the Spareparts Joque harness, which uses Velcro straps.

Fortunately for your decision making process, the number of soft packers and packing straps to choose from is as limited as vacation days in a bad job. Mr. Right, by Vixen Creations (and made of the same VixSkin material that is popular in cocks) is a popular one and fits well into the Mr. Right Packing Strap by Aslan Leather. Other options for soft packers are the Mr. Limpy small and extra small.

One of the great advantages of being a trans man is that you can swap out your cock whenever the mood strikes you. Some men will find one, grow attached, and never trade it in. Others will experiment, testing the waters with one, finding a better relationship with another and then trading out periodically for an exciting alternative. Whatever your preference, there is likely a cock out there to fit it, if you just know where to look!

very nice, but /one thing that could be mentioned is the crafty fellas among us who make our own harnesses
I modified one I got from a local sex shop, removing some of the paneling and lengthening the straps, so that's always an option for guys who can sew

Author

Who am I, in a paragraph? I’m a trans man with a flat chest and lots of testosterone in his veins but minimal butch attitude (though I'd hesitate to call myself femme per se). I’m a lover of women, men, genderqueers, people without gender, people with any anatomy under the sun, bottoms, tops, switches, people who have wild crazy sex and aren't afraid to talk about it, people with a whole lot of identity, nerds, and, of course, Barack Obama. I’m a recent college grad from a liberal liberal arts college. I’m a psychology geek, a Star Trek fan, a mac user, a Tantus and Funfactory silicone snob and a thai food lover.
I’m also a sex toy reviewer and a writer for this site. I’m constantly in awe of the insights others have in their reviews and am pushed by the comments I get on my own to think about the products in new ways. Please let me know if you need further clarification about anything after reading my reviews or writing, or if you have suggestions!