When Women Give You Mixed Signals

This week's letter comes from a guy who was dating a woman he thought was extremely interested, until she suddenly stopped calling him or answering his calls.

reader's question

Doc,

I'm a 23-year-old college student who started seeing Michelle, a coed, in April. The first time I went out with her was when she invited me out to a bar on a week night. She did lots of touching and wanted to take me home, but didn't.

The second time we went out it was for dinner. Afterwards she wanted me to meet some of her friends at the bar and shoot some pool, which I did. (This date was during the week, too.)

All went well and her friends seemed to like me. I shot pool at the bar with her again, and we went back to her house and made out for an hour, and then she started calling more often and invited me over to watch a movie on a Monday night. After we finished the movie, I was going to kiss her goodbye and leave, but she invited me to stay for another movie. (I ended up playing with her hair for half of it.)

a guy walks into a bar...

She called me on Tuesday, and we went to the bar to shoot pool again. Walking in, we ran into one of her guy friends. He says to her, "Hey, sexy," and they talk for a while and agree they should get together for a drink. I played it cool and didn't even ask what his name was.

I called her the next day, but got her voice mail and left no message. That was at the end of May, and I didn't talk to her again until I called her in July. She said she would call me, but she never did. Her birthday was this past August 15th and I called her to wish her a happy birthday. She was surprised that I remembered, and I figured that won me some points.

We're both going back to school at the same time, and she said to me, "Give me a call or something." So, should I call her or wait to see her on campus and strike up a conversation? Also Doc, what would you rate her Interest Level in me? It's hard to sort out her mixed messages.

Thanks, Garrett — who's curious to know

doc love's answer

Hi Garrett,

You start off by telling me that Michelle's friends like you. Now, think about it — what does that really have to do with anything? All we care about here is how much Michelle likes you, right? So why did you go back to the bar just to bump into her friends again?

Garrett, if she doesn't like you, her friends can't change her mind...