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I've ventured into a side business

With you poors re-electing Obama and these dummycrats taxing my business into the ground, laying off 11 saps just wasn't enough to maintain the healthy lifestyle that my family and I enjoy living. I've had to come up with new ways to make money on the side. I went to some dump called Ross out at Diplomat Mall and had my wife load up on women's undergarments for cheap. I've been selling these to perverts by way of Craigslist. Some real freaks out there if you ask me. Some of these fatso's want period stained underwears, soil and fecal stained underwear and everything in between. Can't imagine what these people are doing with them. I get some giggles out of the people who reply asking for them but it's easy money so I don't really care. I can typically buy one pair for about .99$ and sell them on the internet for 25$. I've even urinated on some of these myself. I've been doing this for a couple of weeks now but forgot all about sharing this with you until I took my afternoon dump. I have my own personal bathroom in my office. Anyhoo, this is all tax free under the table profit and I'm not reporting any of this income on my 1040 or schedules.