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**"And his name was Jack"**
No one perceives what abides above the clouds.
A giant, a harp, maybe golden eggs.
I demand to see and feel before I believe.
A castle, a dream…. I want the magic beans!!!
~~~
I'm the daughter of a farmer.
I have a donkey to ride, a story to tell.
“Jack and the Beanstalk” my favorite tale.
Once upon, a morbid dawn.
I inhale a tiny simple yawn
Like the morning sun levitating over the farm,
I rise towards the village square to sell my ass
Along the open path, my ass and I desired a drink.
Near the rustic river,
I'd seen an old Englishman, sitting on a log.
It looked as if time was approaching his brink.
In his hand, he had a sack.
A bag, a bag, embroil of ivory and black.
His eyes were not from this ground.
His body fragile - it uttered a moaning sound.
He was of dirt.
I was pure.
He pledged his life to me.
I debated .... with many thoughts,
Although his eyes...
My eyes... Will never meet again.
"I want what's in the bag!"
In a gasp, he whispers,
"I'll give you anything for that ass.
my legs and bones can’t hold up on their own!”
I knelt down to where he sat
Smelling his essence of rot
I reached forward and grabbed his baggage
He griped, "This bag is all I got!"
I answered, "And this sir is a fine ASS!"
He replied, "I have no cash."
Scowling at him, “NO I want your demon seeds!"
My blood grew thin...
Inhaling and exhaling - his sin
The old man all shriveled and timeworn,
Proposed the birthright of the seeds.
"Yes, plant them! Plant them!"
I cried excitedly!
He pat the field.
Said "there I am done,
now clock as it expands"
To breed this story short...
He dispenses his seeds.
AND, I GAVE HIM MY ASS.
BY;PD

the smile on my lips
is forced and coerced
I pretend to pay attention
give the best possible advice
everyone praises me
I 'm so kind, polite and nice
its all just automation
I rarely actually listen
certainly don't care
all I'm doing
is playing human
blending in
fitting in
I'm so perfectly hidden
you 'll never even
see a curtain
from where I stand
majoring in fronts
put up on a pedal stool
for computing with fools
I'm so perfectly hidden
smiling from time to time
labeling those
with all sincerity
open solitary
passing along an appeal
continuing to fit in
blend in
pretend
force program
is it just me or
am I the perfect human
for p.d's collaboration contest but I wont say who wrote what part.

"Made In China"
They can have my money
If it saves me money
The toys I played with when I was young,
Says I enjoyed their hands
The Labels read
"MADE IN CHINA"
The cheap material on my back, the shoes I wore.
How easily they faded and tore
However, I enjoyed their hands
The Tags on my rags;
"MADE IN CHINA"
The car I own saves money on gas
A tiny Honda Civic, takes me everywhere
I love my sweet silver car
"Manufactured in China"
The never been used--Made in the USA--cookware I own,
Says, I don't work hard at all:)
Yummy to Chinese all you can eat take Outs
Thank you China for being part of this world
Better Yet!
Thank you China, for making this world a part of yours.
MADE IN CHINA
Shipped easily in a box
~SKAT~

My butt crack
Is quite a split
It supports the rest of me
when I sit
you thought I was gonna say something else didn't you ?
My butt crack
Is a marvel to behold
It was cute when I was young
but now offensive since I'm old
My butt crack
Is pretty darn straight
can you imagine if it was crooked
pretty weird sight I would rate
My butt crack
Is funny to me
when I bend over in my jeans
It peeks out
for you to see
My butt crack
wanted me to write this today
for no other reason
then just to say......................
I gotta split
LOL
Eric (and sometimes not)

Love was in the air when he laid eyes on her.
Childhood; elementary and even high school with her.
Walking towards her, he greeted her.
Anxiety spiraled as he hugged her.
Conversation grew deeper as he sat with her.
Wanting to get closer because he was falling for her.
Another woman called pausing the time he was having with her.
Knowing he had to answer; he stepped away and spoke to her.
She stated that something wasn't quite right with her.
She said that her stomach had been bothering her.
Now he's thinking back if he came inside her.
Thinking if she lied to him about her tubes being tied within her.
Does he blame himself for listening to her?
Knowing right from wrong and yet he can't blame her.
Does he blame the devil for allowing him to be intimate with her?
Is he not a human that makes mistakes just like her?
Begging God to make a way for him and her.
Asking God to forgive him for committing the sin with her.
God said, "relax my son, you were only dreaming of her."

I once dated a pilot …
We both had our head in the clouds
Our relationship lead to a lot of turbulence -
I guess it never really got off the ground!
I once dated a glazier…
He thought I would be putty in his hands
But I could see right through him…
He was constantly smashed
I once dated an undertaker…
He knew he had stiff competition
I couldn’t cope - he was always ‘coffin’ when he picked me up in his hearse
He had no sense of humour in fact he was dead boring
I once dated an angler
The thought he was a real catch…
But the scales soon fell from my eyes
As he was obsessed with his flies
I once dated a footballer
He thought he could score with me
Told me he had great tackle…
But it was just a load of balls
I once dated a fishmonger…
He thought he was cod’s gift to women
He invited me back to his plaice…
Where I found out he was really a cold fish
Submitted to 101 poems in a row
Sponsored by PD Linda:-)
15th April 2016

So far I've done everything I could possibly do this year.
I've given thorough thought to cleaning up my act.
These early-day hours have been rough-house
The storm shudders inside me are all grimy, they need tending to,
I just need to find them first.
So tired from last night,
Riding unicorns through the stars.
(No one believes me.)
Trouble is we're all blinking too fast for our own good as it is.
I've done everything I've promised to do this year, so far,
And I haven't even made the promises yet.
That's how interesting I've been lately.
You have no idea how hard it is to be this interesting.
Riding Bellyglow through the thrushes of song birds...
I probably don't know, either.
What a bucket of letters this is.
Thanks for Peking, thanks for Hong Kong.
Happy New Year.

Out shopping met an old friend from school
he turns to me serious looking
what are you at these days
Well says I
working for a China man
picking up crumbs
for disabled birds
Those with broken wings
who are unable to fly smiling
to warmer sunnier climates
Whoa he sounded shocked
he said what a job
What's the money like
he asked laughing out loud
I said less than peanuts
out all weathers
Barely feed a mouse
God I am glad he said
that I have bumped into you
saying you have just really cheered me up
What a man really needed
Peanuts I replied
He began laughing
saying that I was a character
really brightened up his dull day
leaving all I heard was him laughing

Sitting in a cloak of black conservatism:
I feel my hands,
oily on the desk like shortening in
slate gray cookie pans,
the speedway inside forcing the absence of
reabsorption,
And my thoughts,
so flippant to implore
if a man with a chartreuse neck tie
can see the long wet streaks
across the cherry plane.
He speaks,
a sequence of interrogatives
common to the bored walls
of serious conference,
evoking tone inflection
in the pattern of polite.
Darest I mention truth?
I am your whore;
infect me with smug integrity,
smack me with false prophet leadership,
just leave some crisp bills
on the nightstand, sugar.
Yet my voice models his wavelength,
relaying back the catchy tired language
of one hit wonders;
eyes brighten,
hands extend
from the man who owns a chartreuse tie.
Sigh.
Still,
complacency
awards a loaf of Wonder bread,
and a two bedroom lower.

Nothing in the world so disarming,
so charming in it's domain.
Across a crowded room or two feet away
it's all the same.
The shortest distance between two people
despite any other claim.
Is for now and will forever be
with no denial the human smile.

This is just for fun..=)
In the basement of my heart
there is a basement
and in that basement there are two basements.
You open one
and enter the basement
only to find out there is yet another basement
That basements basement
was light and blue
But that basements basement
was black
from basement to basement you walked
until you couldn't anymore
The basements basements
basements basements basements
basements basements basements basement
of my heart.
You found my love...

Its Raining…
God’s Cleansing Tool
Cloud-Concerto… How Cool !
Plop-Plop Plopping into Pothole Pools
On the Grass, Pavements and On My Own-Sweet- Fools…
who, don’t have Sense enough, to get out of the Rain…
… I think I’ll go Join Them… Again
Amen

Don’t take a walk after a large glass of tea
If someone says, “sure take as many as you want”
They probably don’t mean it
Darling you are sooo sweet I could never get angry with you,,,okay this one is self
explanatory
One size fits all-ohh puleeese
Help yourself to anything in the kitchen,,I really thought I meant it
Going 65 through a curve marked for 45 is just stupid, but exciting
Feelings are fickle
When in doubt, a sincere look and slow shake of the head seems intelligent
It will only take a minute,,,,yeah well Im countin by the long hand not the short one
If you climb that high are you sure you can get down, sure on the way
Up is different then sure at the top
Being really cold and getting into a hot shower and feeling
The warm water melt through you is better than sex,,,,okay its been a long time
The second time around is better
It will only hurt for a minute, then let me pinch you until it stops
Make up covers a world of hurt, but then it goes in the cracks and your
Face looks like a drought hit it
Friends that will laugh with you, cry with you, and never give up on you are
~priceless~
Wisdom comes from practice not from age
A good mood is a choice, okay most of the time
A snack to a teenager can be the roast you cooked for dinner
When you fuss at your kid then sit down and find no
Toilet paper,,,,there’s a problem

She was wonderful and powerful
My object of desire
Her smooth clean face so beautiful
The apple of my eye
My love she had an accident
She fell from up on high
I found her broken body there
'Twas lying on the ground
Now all I have's her memory
The songs we used to share
Oh how I miss that ipod
My heart it megahertz

Let's go through the rules for having a side chick
I know a lot of people won't like this
A few guys get one, when their relationship starts to get strain
Make sure you save your side chicks number under a mans name
Delete all messages that may look suspicious
Text her like she's a friend, don't put any kisses
Don't fall in love or try to fulfill all her wishes
Always remember she's nothing but a mistress
Never buy a present for a side chick
Only give her a present if your main girl didn't like it
Never spend time with her on Christmas or an important day
Cause she's just meant for fun, she's not meant to stay
Don't slip away from quality time with your main girl, to contact her
Your main girl is your priority, your side chick doesn't matter
If you've got a girl you adore and are happy with where your life is
Then you're dumb if you go and get a side chick

They call her big Gina
You'd know if you seen her
She is a toilet cleaner
She wears a white smock
Armed with bucket and a mop
She likes to keep things clean
And is a real scrubber
If you know what I mean
She whistles as she goes
With disinfectant wafting under her nose
She replaces toilet rolls
And cleans the toilet bowls
She really loves her job
She has a cat called Doris
And a husband called Bob
Her job is dirty and often smelly
She has a tattoo of a toilet on her belly
At the end of the day
She puts her mop and bucket away
Goes home and has a shower
Then cleans the house within half an hour
Her husband makes her mad
Leaving the toilet seat up
She puts toilet water in his cup
Of tea to sup
She has a daughter called Pru
She dreams of being a toilet cleaner too
She doesn't care about the smell of poo
Just her dream comes true
We should all appreciate toilet cleaners
Just like big Gina.
''Warning! Toilet water in tea. please do not try at home.
could be dangerous and doesn't taste nice''.
Peter Dome.copyright.2014. Aug.

The Leprechaun.
.
Run, run, run as fast as you can...
I'm still gonna get you, my little green man...
I grabbed on to the gold buckle on his waist...
I held him down, with no time to waste...
I tied The Leprechaun to a hollow tree,
Broke off a branch and poked him on the knees.
I kept on poking him with a stick.
I kept nagging him to reveal his magic trick.
This little shamrock kid would not break.
He kept insisting THE LEPRECHAUN legend was fake.
This little odd dwarf kept lying about his mythical pot of gold.
I kept repeating all the stories I've been told..
Nagging him and nagging him~ FOR HIS POT OF GOLD!
He lied, about the fables, telling me his gold does not exist...
The Leprechaun refused to hear the clover list...
****
It's been 7 days!
And, still he won't give up, what's at the end of the rainbow.
Tickling his little Eskimo toes,
Running feathers underneath his nose.
"Look you little green treasure troll, I've captured you, and demand the gold!"
"You won't get me with your tricks!"
"So don't even try to outwit me with your silly MAGIC!"
I suppose his silver-tongue, will have to do,
And the little gold buckles on his shoe.
I got tired of trying to make him see, my point of view.
I got a better deal and trade for a monkey at the zoo.
Now the lions are enjoying a Pot of Leprechaun Stew.
After All!
Nothing I did, made him unfold.
All I wanted was his pot of gold!
by;pd

I am winter's nemesis.I fight it tooth and nail.
In my youth it declared a war on me.
When I licked that icy rail.
Winter has many weapons to choose from.
Fear not for so do I.
A call my shovel Excali-burrr
My Ranger has four wheel drive
But winter's arsenal is no laughing matter
Icicles sent to impale, and black ice is its deadly device
But the human spirit is not that frail
I am winter's nemesis, and though it muffles all sound
This war is raging with bitter disdain.
My driveway the battle ground
I shall not relinquish my parking spot
to your mindless rabble of flakes
So bow to me you wretched season
For I shall never tire.
and my staunch ally will soon be spring
and together we will force a cease fire
For I am winter's nemesis
And these walls shall not be breached
Until my tour of duty is done
and I retire to Miami beach

If I had been born a girl
I wonder what would rock my world
I really have to stop and think
I guess I’d have to start liking pink
One thing I know that would be really great
I know I’d never make a single mistake
I could change my mind all of the time
Oh wait a minute … no I wouldn’t
Well yeah, I guess I would
Or not
Maybe
Yeah, I would change my mind all the time
Naw, that wouldn’t be fair to my guy
Ahh – who cares … surely not I
I suppose I would have to get used to carrying a purse
Of course, there are other things to get used to a whole lot worse
I wouldn’t have to shave my face …
But I would have to shave almost every other place
If I were to be a girl
I don’t think I would be one of those liberated kind
Treat me like a delicate flower
I really would not even mind
I guess I couldn’t burp and fart in public
That would really cramp my style
And I know I couldn’t walk in high heels
Not even for one tenth of a mile
And one thing I know for sure,
I would be the ugliest girl under the sky …
No – I think I’ll just scratch and spit
And thank God I was born a guy

My suntan comes from a bottle
My hair from a wig maker in Peru
My legs are very hairy
I have to put my teeth in to chew
I have had plastic surgery
And a nip and tuck
And I'm soon to have my nose done
With a bit of luck
My lips are bigger than Mick Jagger's
And I have that wind tunnel look
And I'm quite a catch by anybodies book
But I'm all man
Well almost
But I do what I can
I do have a six pack
But keep it in the cooler
Yes I'm quite a man
I measured it with a ruler.
So come on ladies grab me while you can
When I've got my teeth in and wig up on my head
They say I look like George Clooney
But then I look in the mirror
And I think they meant Mickey Rooney.
Ar well can't have everything
But my heart is loving and true
I may not be organic no more
With all the plastic surgery
But there's much more than that to me.
Peter Dome.copyright.2014. July.

You said you wanted a slam
So here it goes
You're going to feel it stinging
from your head to toes
A wham, bam, thank you ma'am
A sinister soul I am
I took to you
and quite so soon
I gotta make you unglued.
You're famous, you're a PS tart
and I do mean that
from the bottom of my heart-
But it's about time you got a taste
of your own medicine and male hitting disgrace
And I will scream this in your face!
Oh how right you were
and I must concur-
That this slamming crap is fun-
but your words will all be a blur.
So tap -tap you're next,
Don't worry, I like you too much to hex
but not enough to have...
So get with it, little bit-
waiting on you to get a clue
Send me your slam-
And we'll see who wins the GLAM!
From the Freak

I failed English in High School
Could not understand the writing rule
If I say, when it reigns it pores, people agree
Yet when I write the same phrase people say what’s wrong with me
I before E (accept) after C less it sounds like an a as in neighbor or weigh
Where do the words foreign and sovereign (steigh)
Do they stay with a goose among geese or with a moose among (meese)
Do they live in a house with a scavenger mouse or something much bigger
Is there several (hice) with several scavenger mice

What’s up with Santa
He's acting like a child.
Santa Claus is upstairs in his big red sleigh bed,
warm and cozy in his red flannel comforter,
wearing his red dropseat pajamas, and hat
sick with the flu,
constantly ring that darn bell.
Ting-a-ling, Ting-a-ling …
There it goes again
Yessss… Dearrrr… I know you don’t feel good,
your throat hurts and is sore when you swallow
your body is in pain, like a herd of reindeer has run over it
A warm cup of hot cider and a cinnamon stick to give it flavor
will ease the pain.
I should have never given him that bell
Ting-a-ling, Ting-a-ling …
Yessss… Dearrrr… I know your frequently, coughing
is making your rib cage feels like it’s going to break
I will get some milk and chocolate chip cookies
so you don’t have to get out of bed
I wish Santa would quit constantly ringing that darn bell.
If he hadn’t shoveled the snow off the sidewalk
and let the elves do their jobs, he wouldn’t be sick right now
Ting-a-ling, Ting-a-ling …
Yeessss… Deeaarrrr… I’m sorry your head is stuffed up,
nose is red, hurts, and won’t quit running
Reading the Naughty or Nice List
will help you not think about what you're going through
What came over me to let him have a bell
Ting-a-ling, Ting-a-ling …
Yeessss… Deeaarrrr… You’re running a fever, freezing, and shivering
I will go inform the elves not to dawdle
keep making the toys in Santa’s workshop
and make sure they take care of the reindeer
Oh! My! I hope Santa gets well before Christmas gets here,
so he’ll get better and out of my hair
or I am going to hide that dumb bell
By Eve Roper
Sponsor: Carol Eastman
Contest Name :Story poem about Santa Claus