THE WALKING DEAD RECAP: The Walking Family Reunion

This is a Recap Of AMC’s The Walking Dead, Season 1, Episode 3, entitled “Tell It To The Frogs”. It contains spoilers, such as what they tell to the frogs, and why they are telling that to the frogs. Also, the frogs are zombies. Spoilers like that.

Episode Three opens with a dramatic soliloquy from Merle Dixon, who’s still trapped on the roof begging Jesus to take a break from eradicating black people to help him reach this hacksaw:

Will the zombies manage to break through T-Dog’s chain so they can eat his racist brain and become racist? We’ll have to wait and find out, because it’s time for the long-awaited…

GRIMES FAMILY REUNION!!!

After the jump, Rick and his wife cuddle…WITH DEER-EATING ZOMBIES:

Rick and his family are seriously so happy to be back together, even though Lori has a giant elephant in the room, and a zombie bit that elephant and now it’s a raging, out-of-control zombie elephant:

Rick repeats eight billion times that he knew he’d find them, and knew they were still alive because they took the photo albums from their home. Lori’s like, “Yeah, we whipped those photo albums at a zombie’s head when we made a break for it.” Rick replies, “I knew I would find you.” Lori’s like, “Can I f*ck Shane in the forest again? Cause you are already intolerable.” They have some sad make-up sex two feet away from their kid.

Everyone else in the group reunites with everyone else, because everyone is someone’s family. Second Rule of Improv: Establish a relationship. Well done, improv troupe. Now your suggestion from the audience: DEER-EATING ZOMBIE.

The group beats the zombie to death and Old Hatguy decapitates it, but it’s a bittersweet victory, because Shane says that the walkers have never come this close to camp and things must be getting more dangerous. We then learn that the deer carcass was killed by Daryl Dixon, brother of Merle Dixon, who’s racist against mammals that don’t walk on two legs.

Is he instantly angry and unreasonable too? Yep! He even has the “I make Merle Dixon look like Rosa Parks” bumper sticker on his lower back. Rick attempts to break the news about Daryl’s brother, and this exchange occurs -

Rick: I’m just gonna come right out and say it…

Daryl: What’s yer name?

Rick: Rick Grimes.

Daryl: Well, RICK GRIMES, you got something to tell me?

Rick: Dude – I just said that I had something to tell you. And why are you mad at my name? Who’s writing this dialogue? Is your character really that instantly angry about everything?

Daryl:

Rick breaks the news that they locked Merle on a roof and left him there, because they definitely couldn’t just tell Daryl that his brother got bitten by one of the five million zombies that attacked them so Daryl would be like “That’s too bad.” Rick decides to go back to Atlanta to rescue Merle, which is a really terrible idea, and everyone tells him it’s a terrible idea, but Rick simply will not take “that is a terrible idea” for an answer.

He borrows some bolt cutters from Hatguy (in a lengthy and absolutely uncuttable scene) and gathers T-Dog, Daryl, and Glenn to head back to the city that was overrun by like five million zombies. He assures his wife, who he has just been reunited with for half a day, that this is a great plan:

They embark on a trip to put four lives at risk to rescue one assuredly dead life, but as a semi-sane consolation, they’ll also try to pick up the bag of guns that Rick dropped in episode one. Just a simple get-in, grab Dixon, grab guns, don’t get eaten by five million zombies, get-out run.

While they’re heading to Atlanta, another totally irredeemable A-hole emerges in the group; while Shane is catching frogs with Carl because this is a Lassie episode from 1957, a really angry Ed approaches the womenfolk who are washing clothes in the quarry and demands that his wife come with him, insensitive to the fact that a zombie apparently bit her HAIRDO (meyow!) She refuses to go with him, because…I don’t actually know what he wants her to do or why she won’t do it, but HOLY CRAP:

Shane sees Ed punch his wife, and runs to her defense, taking out his frustration about no longer being able to be close to with Lori:

Meanwhile in Atlanta, the foursome is climbing to the roof of the building where Merle was, and– wait, why are there not five million zombies there? They mention that Glenn “knows the way” and can get in and out with ease, but then they go up the exact staircase that was TEEMING with zombies at the beginning of the episode. So their plan completely banked on those million zombies just not being there anymore? And if they had run into a million zombies, they were equipped with four shells and manual weapons, and would all be dead and the series would be over. What a TERRIBLE idea, Rick. Seriously. The terriblest.

Anyway…They cut through the chains, emerge onto the roof, and there they find…

I don’t know about this episode – no real action sequences, giant plotholes, stupid plans, questionable acting… there were enough awesome parts in the first two episodes for me to stick with The Walking Dead for the remainder of the season, plus I’m down with the concept and I’m still valuing the recommendations of my friends who love the comics, but seriously, Episode Three? Nowhere near as good as my Maytag back home.