To celebrate Valentine's Day this year, I thought I'd bust some common, but disempowering ideas about Soulmates.

In numerology SOULMATE has a 25/7 vibration, the same as the words HEART and MORTAL. We come to Earth because it's the only planet we can experience having a human heart.

Fortunately the heart is a muscle and can never be truly broken, only bruised...it's also strengthened by regular loving exercise!

6 Myths About Soulmates, Busted!

1) My Soulmate should love me just the way I am.Oh dear. This is the biggest source of confusion I see when doing psychic readings for couples. Blame Hollywood...

Your Soulmate has a spiritual contract with you (agreed before you incarnated), to help you to master certain lessons. The way they teach you these qualities varies, because we all have free will.

You can't expect someone to love you all the time - even you don't do that! Imagine if you believed the sun should stay in the sky 24/7. You'd be miserable half the time.

It's the same with Soulmates. Your job is to love yourself, and their job is to trigger you to love yourself. Yes, there should be mutual respect, but in the end, you can only love someone as much as you love yourself. If you often get upset with others, the common denominator is your belief system - that's what truly needs healing. Let people be human, and their hearts will sing in your presence.

2) My Soulmate should stay with me.

Again, a painful belief to carry. If I invite you somewhere and say 'if you don't come I will never talk to you again', I'm not giving you a real choice. You can't threaten someone into loving you - they'll just leave as soon as your back is turned.

I read for many people whose numerology charts show they will spend certain periods alone, to focus on areas such as their career or spirituality. Truthfully, they are still 'in a relationship' even when single - they're simply dating themselves...you could say they are getting to know their Higher Selves.

Having a human body is like having a car - you need to stop and service it regularly, otherwise when passengers get in (e.g. you take on a partnership), you might break down.

While Soulmates often stay together longer than non-Soulmates, there are times people simply need to rest, or to move on (see 4. below). This is common when people start or finish a 9 Year Cycle (find your personal year in numerology). If you want your relationship to survive this shift, you often need to change direction and/ or renew your devotion to each other.

3) I should recognise my Soulmate at first sight.It's true that Soulmates often meet suddenly, or in unusual circumstances (my partner Kris and I met during a palmistry demonstration on TV - see 3min 41s). However, we may not realise at first that someone is a Soulmate. They simply appear interesting.

Soulmate relationships can take longer to develop, especially between people who are used to drama or lust at first sight. Our Spirit Guides are careful to make sure we don't 'burn out' too soon and may create delays (such as illness, unemployment, family conflict) to test our faith. The good news is that our Soulmates will often stay with us during these challenges, to help us to experience unconditional love. They're not afraid of our darkness!

4) I only have one Soulmate.Maybe it's my science background but I find this idea ridiculous. Why would the Universe take such a risky approach? What happens if your Soulmate dies as a child. Are you really meant to spend your whole life alone?

As a palmreader, I've found that people are incredibly diverse. For example, we have relationship lines in palmistry (horizontal strokes on the side of our hands, under the pinky), which indicate our approach to love. Which hand to read - see here?

People with one line tend to believe in 'one partner at a time' or 'marriage for life', whereas those with two or more lines are pragmatic.

if something happens to their partner, they will look (usually quite respectfully) for someone else.

If someone has a Girdle of Venus and many (say four plus) lines, then mastering emotional honesty and commitment is a big theme this lifetime. I should know - I'm in this category, which is no surprise given my Master 29/11/2 Lifepath - this is about healing the Root (security) and Sacral (relationship) Chakras.

Baby Boomers tend to have one relationship line (also called a marriage line in traditional palmistry), while younger generations have more. But here's the twist - as our attitudes change, our lines change! They can appear and disappear.

I've seen people whose long-term marriages don't show on their hands because they've wiped the memories - other people have relationship lines for summer flings that really meant something.

5) Soulmates are always romantic partners.

Not true. They may often be our lovers, but I have also seen Soulmate relationships between parents and children, friends, some people even say their pets are Soulmates! The beauty of Soulmates is that, no matter how long it's been since you saw them, it's like no time has passed. You still feel connected. Also, they tend to keep you on your lifepath (find your lifepath here), for example they often remind you to follow through on promises, or to keep up your passions and hobbies.

6) I have to 'find' my Soulmate.Partly true and partly false. If 1% of your energy is your human body and 99% of your energy is your Soul, then even when you sleep, part of you is still magnetising and creating your life.

You can trust your Soul to take care of you - that's what psychics like me do, through manifestation and gratitude. After all, it would take someone thousands of years to build a Pyramid. It makes sense to work with your Guides because they know you inside out.

Earth is a school and we are meant to keep learning. You don't have one teacher during your education, you have many. At any stage in your life, you may need different Soulmates to enter and exit to continue your evolution. Please, don't become fixated on finding the perfect mate. That's a such a waste of energy. Focus on being happy, and you'll attract all the right people. Cultivate your love of life, and your love life will flourish. The flower doesn't need to chase the butterfly, it simply unfolds and blooms.

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