Carmella

About me

I was born in England in 1958, and didn’t speak until I was six. Much of my childhood – as well as my adult my life – was spent studying humanity and questioning how we might relate and communicate more effectively.

I also studied art and photography before moving on to holistic birth support, writing, bereavement counselling, workshop and retreat facilitation, and communication coaching.

In the 80’s, I completed a teacher training in Inner Light Consciousness, a comprehensive system of teachings including: Emotions Management, Effective Communication, Inner Life work, Universal Law, and Dynamic Meditation. I also trained in bereavement counselling, have a diploma in Neuro-Linguistic Programming and have studied Focusing and Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication. Not to mention LIFE itself, particularly birth and death – my greatest teachers.

In 1986 I became the first Midlands mother to give birth in water (supported by my partner Abel), which was reported worldwide in the Press due to an amazing picture taken seconds after our water-baby son, Benjaya, emerged. They also reported our subsequent “pioneering work with waterbirth” and the shocking death of Benjaya, who ironically drowned in a local river when he was five. Two miscarriages later they were keen to report the safe birth of a second son, Asher, again in water. I have been also featured on television and radio – including a BBC documentary – and my writings on birth, death, healing and effective relationships have been published in many journals.

The tough life experiences I experienced taught me the importance of living from my inner strength, and I have been sharing with others how to do this for a long time. Presently this takes the form of counselling, relationships/communication coaching and courses supported by the teachings from my three books, Benjaya’s Gifts, Mourning Has Broken and Heart of Relating: Communication Beyond Ego.

I have done a lot of co-founding in my life: MetaCentre: Foundation for Human Potential in 1984; BirthWorks (now franchised) in 1987, which offers support services for holistic birth and waterbirth; The Transitus Network (www.martinsey.org.uk) in 2004, which honours the sacred process of living and dying and promotes death as a transition; and the Bowden House Community in 2005, an intentional eco-community where I now live (www.bowdenhouse.co.uk).

Since 2002, I have been on the team of The Inner Resilience Program in New York City, a non-profit organisation founded by Linda Lantieri, which supports school personnel to connect with their inner lives (www.innerresilience-tidescenter.org). As well as co-facilitating retreats with IRP and compiling a training manual Restorative Retreats for Educators, I have copy-edited the program’s U.S. school curriculum called Building Resilience From the Inside Out.

My home, Heartwood, in the Bowden House Community on a beautiful ten-acre estate in Totnes, Devon, UK, is where I see clients in-person. About thirty adults and twelve children co-habit this land and the community has become my playground for practicing and learning new relating skills. It is also where I sing a lot.