Festivus for the rest of us…even in jail

Extending the traditional Festivus ritual, “The airing of the grievances,” beyond December 23rd is just one example of my piety and personal reverence for the holiday created by Seinfeld’s Frank Costanza. As Frank would say, “I got a lot of problems with you people.”

But one Orange County inmate has taken it a step further, citing belief in Festivus to make his life in jail just a little bit better. Perhaps at the taxpayers expense.

According to Kimberly Edds at the Orange County Register, inmate Malcom King — a body builder and convicted felon — was sick and tired of the unhealthy, salami-laden jail meals and he saw only one way out: have his lawyer tell the court he was a religious follower of Frank Costanza’s teachings and that this required a more expensive double portion of the jail’s kosher meal.

The judge granted the meal request: another Festivus miracle.

Kings attorney via OCR:

Judge [Derek G.] Johnson pulled King’s lawyer and the prosecutor aside and said he needed a religion to put down on the order to make it stick, explained Thiagarajah.

“I said Festivus,” said Thiagarajah. The order was granted – three non-salami meals a day.

County Counsel researched Festivus, arguing the holiday was the creation of writer Dan O’Keefe to celebrate his first date with his wife in 1966. The holiday was introduced to the world by his son Daniel, a screenwriter for Seinfeld, who wrote it into the show. (read more)

Inmate King has been released to ICE custody, where the Feds probably take a much dimmer view on citing sitcom-based pseudo-religion beliefs in court. And a six foot aluminum pole is definitely contraband.