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Warning Signs that your Child is Being Bullied

Warning Signs that your Child is Being Bullied

By Ted Zeff, Ph.D

Many children are taught that it is a sign of weakness to ask for help and frequently fail to tell anyone when they are being bullied for fear of appearing weak or feeling shame that there’s something wrong with them. When your child experiences being bullied, he or she could be at risk for developing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which is an anxiety disorder usually brought on by a terrifying physical or emotional event or events. Some of the symptoms of PTSD include sleep disturbances, withdrawal, a lack of concentration, and emotional numbness. Sometimes, when bullying reaches a point of serious physical threat, the bullied child and the subsequent fear for their very life can bring on the symptoms of PTSD. The feeling of being out of control and in danger can cause the victim to disconnect from others by isolating his/herself and experiencing hyperarousal and hypervigilance in a constant search for threats. This reaction is the nervous system’s response to potential danger, whether real or imagined, creating constriction, disassociation, and helplessness in order to protect the body.

Unfortunately, when children experience trauma, they often become frozen and exhibit feelings of helplessness and shame, rendering them nearly unable to defend themselves when attacked or put under pressure. These traumatized children then bring this frozen state of helplessness to many other situations that they perceive as threatening throughout their lives. And, the more withdrawn these children become, the more fearful and helpless they feel, the stronger the likelihood that they will slip into serious emotional trouble.

Parents need to be aware of the warning signs when their children may be experiencing depression, severe anxiety, or PTSD due to bullying. The following is a list of red flags to look for:

• Is your child disconnecting from people and isolating him/herself in their room? Although teens usually separate from the family, they normally connect more often with their friends.

• Has your child developed physical problems such as stomachaches and headaches that interfere with their life?

• Has your child’s schoolwork recently suffered, and is it difficult for your child to concentrate?

If you suspect that your child is suffering from any of the above symptoms that is interfering with their life and you have not been able to help alleviate their suffering, you should consider having your child evaluated by a licensed psychologist, licensed marriage and family counselor, or licensed social worker. If you can’t afford to pay for private therapy sessions, virtually all cities have low-cost therapy clinics (check with your city or county department of mental health).