Liza "With A Z, Not Lisa With An S" Minnelli was honored at the New York Landmarks Conservancy awards at the Plaza on Thursday and partied like a sorority girl in a foreign country. Though her beverage of choice is a mystery, Minnelli drank and chain-smoked throughout the night, and by the time she got onstage to accept her award, she was "a total mess... clung to the podium for dear life and preceded to slur her way, rambling, unable to sing," says an attendee, adding "I think she was attempting 'New York, New York.'"

LIZA. You are too (metaphorically) large and (literally) drunk to be contained by this earthly sphere. This photo and this one are my personal favorites. Keep making those jazz hands into the void, you classy old broad. [NYDN]

Like Chernobyl, the fallout of the Selena Gomez/Justin Bieber
split will continue to affect generations to come. There are some new photos of a Bieberless and "sad" (conjecture!) Selena Gomez
at LAX. Rumored "other woman," Victoria's Secret model Barbara Palvin
, after being bum-rushed by leagues of angry Beliebers, Tweets
: "hey everyone, please calm down. he is all yours!! :) please." And here is The Beebz himself, on a radio show: "I don't know what to say. I don't know what's going on in my life." [Us Weekly
, NYDN
]

Leonardo DiCaprio had his 38th birthday party at a nightclub called The Darby Downstairs and a shit-ton of famous people were there. The DJ for the event told the press that the girls at the event were all over Leo, but he was more into hanging out with the dudes. At one point "Leo was on the mic beat-boxing to 2 Chainz," but unfortunately, we have no video evidence of this because he made everyone check their phones at the door. Just like in Gossip Girl. [NYDN]

James Franco and his rumored girlfriend Ashley Benson went to see Skyfall and both of them fell asleep. Can't wait for his long-winded undergrad-philosophy-major soliloquy about it. [Page Six]

Although her rep denies it, Jennifer Lopez may have imposed a 2 AM partying curfew on Casper Smart and hired a bodyguard to keep him out of trouble. She "wants to be sure he can never publicly embarrass her like that again." Jeeeeez, you use a gloryholeONE TIME. [Gossip Cop]

Courtney Stodden advises Ariel Winter that her relationship with her 18-year-old boyfriend is "awesome" and that "if they are in love it's OK! They should get married!" Just remember that this is a girl who named her dog "Dourtney." [Radar Online]