Weekender’s latest hits

Surprise! Haven’t done the tidbits package in awhile, mainly because I seemed to have a nasty habit of pre-empting it with one big preview-type item. Anyway, to refresh your memory, this is a package of allegedly tasty morsels designed to whet your appetite. In theory, that means that when you get tomorrow’s paper, you’ll rip it apart looking for Weekender. If you’re not into delayed gratification, go to our new and improved mySA.com and find the articles right now.

(Express-News File Photo)

Ron White, shown at a Majestic show in 2006, returns for two shows Saturday night.

Quotes

• “Every comedian in the country wanted (Hillary) Clinton in the White House, so Bill could be the first lady, and you could just quit writing for two years and just watch the news. Really nothing funny about McCain or Obama.” — Ron White, who plays two shows at the Majestic on Saturday.

• “Heavy-metal fans are a little different. They often buy an album out of respect for what that band does as a whole and not just for a song or two. Metal fans feel a connection and some pride of ownership for a band they like. They want to support the band, so they buy the record out of respect instead of downloading it.” — Disturbed bassist John Moyer, whose band plays at Saturday’s RockStar Energy Mayhem Festival.

• “I’m open when it comes to writing. I’m all about scraps of paper and notebooks. I have four notebooks going right now. I’ll go back and forth between old and new songs. I even have a filing system.” — Ruthie Foster, on her songwriting methodology. She’s at Water Street Oyster Bar next Thursday, July 31.

Notes

• Band name of the week: As music writer Jim Beal Jr. pointed out, it’s hard to top Hank of the Destruction Moose. The El Paso band is part of the Sunday bill at the White Rabbit.

• Former band name of the week: Rock Bottom Tattoo Bar on July 31 will welcome the return of Dear and the Headlights, an alt-rock band from Arizona.

• Suggested band names of the week, and their inspirations:

1. Baconesque: The word I hit upon to describe the object being waved in the dog’s face in the Beggin’ Strips TV commercial.

2. The Vertical Vegetables: Inspired by the need to find something to replace Larry Ratliff’s jalapeño-based movie-rating system until the salmonella scare passes.

3. The Cartilage Thieves: Popped into my head while pondering a sort of sci-fi caper involving stealing cartilage from the healthy knees of young folks to rebuild mine, which are remarkably cartilage-free.

4. Meteor Salad: A mashup of the Rhett Miller tune “Meteor Shower” and the sign on the wall of Guillermo’s Deli in the Downtown Y advertising Monday’s luncheon special. I was humming the former when I saw the latter.

• Suggested bill of the week: Wouldn’t country-rock renegade Dick Wiggler be the perfect opening act for the Wiggles next week at the AT&T Center? OK, maybe not.