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20,000 POSTS: TOP TEN OF PD

Eve once made a 20k thread. Devil responded that it was stupid and that 20k is not a good milestone. From that day forward it was my mission to prove him wrong. My sole reason for living.

This will be a countdown of the Top 10 posts every made on PD. None of them will be from me, as that would just be unfair. They are graded on quality, preference and historical value!!!!

HEREEEEEEE WE GO

A true tragedy of this list is that some posts were deleted. Such is the story of our #10 post, but I will try to recreate it. It was in the mod thread, and Pikatwo made post of why he should be mod. Devil responded by MERKING HIM very effectively, like Devil always does. This is a showcase of why I love Devil.

10.

Originally Posted by Pikatwo

I'm going to be a great moderator. My intellect, articulation and want to keep things on topic will set me apart from the rest.

Originally Posted by Devil

Pikatwo shows us once again that he is the most intellectual and articulate poster on the boards. While I was at it I took the liberty of correcting the errors in your post. You're welcome!

I can't recreate it nearly how it was but this gives you an idea. The real thing was much better.

9.

Originally Posted by Fullmetal

lright.

You're a really strange person. You online date a 12 year old, you flirt with dogar and azn, and you used to be nice until one day. One day you made a thread about kicking a kids ass. You expected everyone to say LOL good job, but instead we said you're a retard. After this, you had a grudge it seems.

In a couple threads you seemed fine again, and i was willing to let it go. Of course, God says some stuff that doesnt even include your name, like this thread, and you start talking shit. Whats worse is you dont even talk good trash. You just say that someone f**ked their parents and have small dicks.

Normally i would send you crying off these forums never to be seen again, but you're too much of a RETARD to understand half the things i would say to you. So instead we'll play by your rules alright?

You're a PMSing little lesbo whore that hates dicks, the reason we call you a lesbian is because you keep saying bad things about guys and their member size. Is it too hard to tell someone they take it up the ass from other guys? You got close, saying i suck tim off, which sounds like you were jealous that all these guys arent looking at you.

That still seems too hard for you to understand. Fine. You beat up little kids that make fun of your flat chest. So now you're going to gorge in comfort food and then throw it up cuz you need to look skinny for america. In 3 years you'll turn into a retard that spouts off teen labels like prep and emo, and of course you will be one and hate the other. You'll go from prep, and go to emo, hate everything, then come back to prep just in time to finish high school. In college you will "experiment" which we all know is a lie, because you love to munch carpet. Of course by age 20 you still have a flat chest and the pathetic disease of noassatall, so you screw the 300lb half retarded girl going for her masters in toilet scrubbing.

You wonder why all these people are gay and screw other guys around you. I'll tell you, the reason someone would f**k another guy or even their parents, or even their dog, is because you turn them to it Luna. I would rather f**k my cat on the kitchen counter than even look at your acne ridden flat chest that will be riddled with razor cuts when you decide to be an emo to gain attention from people.

One of the few women able to turn guys gay and lesbians straight. Congrats.

Kelsh is great now but she used to be fairly shit and named Luna. Fullmetal tore it into her with this post and this is the SECOND best flame in PD history. Kelsh proves there is hope for anyone as she is no longer awful!

8.

Originally Posted by Dogar The Brave

The story behind this. I had to do a Julius's Caesar Project last year. It's about journal entries from Brutus. I got an F because it was so blatantly perverted and sexual. Timmy did pretty much everything and I put in stuff here and there. I think there is 5 Acts and a letter I had to pretend to write, not sure. Well Enjoy.

Act One

So I was eating a banana sandwich today, and out of the blue Cassius started persuading me to kill Caesar. So I was all like ďwhatís burnin your grill, playa?Ē During all this, I just wanted to see the sport event that was getting seen. It was to be a rousing day at the event. Rousing to the highest degree. So I was discussing things with Cassius once again, and I find out that Caesar fell down and had a seizer. After talking about how Flavius and Martullus have been put in jail for taking down Caesars decorations. Later on Cicero kept talking about bad omens. Bad omens really arenít very good, you know? Not valid in the slightest. Once I saw a bad omen, it was quite disagreeable. In fact, it scared me so much that I ate another banana sandwich. But that is another story entirely and is filled with much objectionable content, so back to bad omens we go. Well, once my mother told me ďSon, bad omens are not very good at all.Ē Maybe it was my father, but I think he was too old. It might have been my brother even. Neither of them liked bad omens. Can you think of anyone who likes bad omens? I think not! Any who, the bad omens that Circeo described was night owls coming to the market place at noon. It doesn't sound too bad to me. Not bad enough to eat a banana sandwich at least. A lion in the capital, and men on fire but not burning. Well, the senate wants Caesar to be king everywhere except Italy. Thatís not very good at all, in my opinion of course. But I canít just kill Caesar because of it. Or can I? Maybe. I donít Italy very much actually. Too Italian, quite frankly. They go all around and say ďoh iím italian iím so cool i eat pizza and make meatballsĒ but you know what, I never liked pizza that much. Give me a banana sandwich and Iím set thanks you very much! Iím thinking more and more now that Cassius is right, but I canít go and be a bad person. This reminds me of the time and we were children and we had to pick teams to play four square, and no one wanted to pick Caesar, so I said ďCaesar is my best friend and if he doesn't play I donít play.Ē It was a brave stand. But anyway, I never got to play and maybe Cassius is right. Except about four square that is. His four square tactics were question able at best. But can I really betray me best friend? Only time will tell, may the Gods guide me in the right direction.

Act Two

So I was dreaming about making pottery the other day, which by the way is just too awesome. One day someone asked me ďDo you want some pot?Ē and I said ďI hope youíre refering to potteryĒ and he said ďOf course!Ē So I said ďboy howdy that sounds just dandy to me.Ē But anyway, I awoke from this pottery dream and men in white hoods came to my door. Then I realized they were my good friends, the conspirators. They were all together, though, like a hord. We all talked about the plan to kill Ceasar, and in the end it was decided that he must go down. Right then and there, I lost my fate it seems, and a new leaf was turned the otherway. The way for Rome. But under that leaf was a rock. And under that rock was a knife, and under that knife was a piece of pottery. I knew the pottery was telling me ďKill Ceasar!Ē But how could I? My true passions in life were Ceasar and pottery, but I had to kill Ceasar. After the conspirators were gone, my wife asked me to tell her what was going on. I love her dearly, but of course as a woman she is inferior to me. She protested though, and stabbed herself in the thigh, and said ďsee iím strongĒ so I told her that we were going to kill Ceasar and told her ďIf you tell anyone that youíre not a real man, youíre woman ...Ē then I shook my fist in rage. Daylight broke, and it was time for me to come. To Ceasarís place. Boy he had quite the comfortable couch. I could sit on that couch all day, eating my banana sandwhiches and making pottery. Word around the house was Ceasarís wife had had a bad dream, and it was about Ceasar about to die. She told Ceasar to stay, but the man he was said no. Then he decided that he would stay. Then Decius persuaded him not to stay. Heís quite the talker you know. He could talk anyone into anything. Once he talked my good friend into eating chicken pot pie. Now thatís something. I really donít like chicken pot pie. Itís too chickeny. Not only that, but itís too piey too. Iím a vegitarian actually. I feel itís the humane thing to do and Iím, a good, nice person! At the end we were all ready to go to the Senate. Rest assured, we didnít need a clock or sundial. We all knew what time it was .... time to kill. Wait, I said to myself, we have to wait a little longer. Letís savor this moment, and wait till weíre in the senate itís self. It was for the good of Rome! At least, thatís what I though it was ... at the time.

Act Three

We did it. By Gods we finally did it! We finally killed Caesar. We finally destroyed the tyranny that might have been. We saved Rome yet again. To think, all in all, I killed my best friend. I hope this is the right thing to do. I hope to the Gods it is. But these words will haunt me until the day I take my last breath: ďEt Tu Brute?Ē Why did he have to say those words? Of all things why? But my decision has been made; the deed done. Again, I hope that what I did was right. Antony soon found out, and I said that no harm would be done to him. So we met. I told him that I did it for the good of Rome. He asked for what cause. I said due to his excess ambition, and then told him that he is allowed to speak to the people, but do not speak anger towards us, who gave him permission to talk. On one more condition - I had to give my speech first. You see, Iím quite the orator. They say I work quite well with my tongue. Some say that massive crowds have been known to squeal with delight when they see my mouth move. There was once a little girl who was listening to my speech, and she just couldnít take her eyes off my mouth, as it contorted into shapes that infinitely pleased her. I think her mother, and her father even, felt the same way. I said my speech, and the crowd seemed to like it. But then Antony spoke, and the FICKLE crowd swayed his way. He followed all the guidelines I told him, no doubt about that, but the FICKLE crowd still sided with him. I had to flee, knowing that a civil war will soon break, and return to Cassius and warn him as well. The mob was so moved by Antonyís speech, that they killed Brutus the poet, just because he had my name. They spat and told him he was terrible, he pointed out many times that he was not Brutus the conspirator, but the poet, but then they said ďI donít care, and besides YOUR POETRY SUCKS!Ē and killed him. And right there I knew that what I did disrupted Rome quite so. And then questioned that if what I did for Rome, really helped it? Iím questioning what I did. I question a lot of things, actually. Like the time I had to choose between vanilla and strawberry ice cream. They both looked quite tantalizing, but in the end I went with chocolate. It is a choice I deeply regret even to this day. And Iíll never have that recipe again.

Act Four

The time has come to fight! The civil war has broken, and I must regain my forces with Cassius. I already know that Octavous and Antony are together. Ceasarís wife couldnít have any children, so Octavius is the closest male relative Ceasar ever had, and the people will think of that as an authoritive power of trust and they are a force to reckon with. I wish it didnít end up like this, I thought it was good for Rome. Gods why did you do this to me. Times like these I like to go off and play my harp. Iíve always wanted to become a famous harp player. Iíve written a song dedicated to my love of pottery, itís called ďpotteryĒ and I think itís quite snazzy to tell the truth. I find myself to be a pretty swank harp player. The swankiest swankster is swankstown. I was in a band once and had a really rocking harp solo. On a more intense note, to be honest, I donít think Antony is going this as much as for revenge, but more for Ceasarís power. I think that this was his plan all along. Why didnít I see this before? I shouldíve killed him when I had the chance. But would that have helped? It didnít help when I killed Ceasar. Am I the true criminal here? Iím so confused. There are all these different feelings Iím getting. I donít understand whatís going on inside of me. I donít know who I am. I donít know what I want. I donít know who I want. Maybe I wanted Ceasar all along. Everyone liked him, and I just said ďIf I canít have him, no one can!Ē Iím the jelous type, and the honorable one as well, but I donít know which one took a hold of me then. Cassius swayed me with his deep, penatrating eyes and tore right through to my very soul, and his body motions just drove me over the top. Maybe it was Cassiusís ambition to get a hold of me. I just donít understand! Is everyone fighting over me ... or am I fighting over everyone else? And to think the only person who ever loved me, my wife, is dead! I thought I was a real man, but maybe Iím wrong. Maybe she was more of a man then me. But sheís gone now, and sheís never coming back. Except in my dreams. But she is not the only one who haunts my dreams, Ceasar, in his flowing robe of gold walks into my mind and dazzles me with his fluid motions. He told me that he would meet with me yet again. Maybe Iíll find two people I love. But I digress - I think I was wrong.

Act Five

It is decided. I am to die on this field, this very field I say! Am I a hero? Did I fight for the noble cause? Is what I did to Ceasar the real right for Rome? I saw maybe and maybe not. But in a way, I think I did. In my own way I thought I did. I was there to save Democracy. Equality. Trust for for the common man, what our forefathers fought for. But I feel the demons of the world have been put against me, by the demon Cassius. My downfall. I thought that the people would love me, praise me, adore me. Shower me with gold! Eat out of my hand! But no, they shunned me, just like the time my cat tried to run away from me because I didnít feed it the kibbles it so desperately needed. d**n Cassius, d**n Cassius to hell. That stupid, big headed man him! He killed himself, he killed himself on the battle field that coward! But I guess itís better than being captured, and paradeded around like an animal. In that same dicision as him, I took my life with the same dagger, which was smothered in the most holiest of blood of Ceasar and killed myself with it. I wonít delve into how I am writing this after my death, as it is a useless topic, and the novelty of such things has warn off several entries ago. So many people died because of my decision. So many people were hurt because of my decision. So much pain has been caused because of my, one, dicision. In the end was I right? It dosnít matter anyway now, does it? I am dead. To be honest, I donít know what Antony thinks of me now, and again, does it really even matter? But in all honesty though, I think that in some part of his heart he feels, that he respected me as a hero. Because I am the only one who did not fight for ambition, but for protecting the restoration of our most glorious nation of Rome. And in the end that is what I did, it was my disicion, be it bad or good. It was just me and my decision. Well, now that Iím in heavan, I can finally meet with Ceasar now and my lovely, muscular wife. We both had a dinner party last night, and it continued long into the early hours of the morning. When I woke up I could hardly recognize what was what and who was who. But boy howdy. that was some night I suppose. Why couldnít this have been reality in the world? Why couldnít I wake up next to Ceasar every morning, and go to sleep with my large, bulky wife every night? This could have all be prevented if I just didnít kill Ceasar. It could have been a party every night, but because of my one dicision it all failed - that party will never light up again.

Brutus Letter To Wife After Seeing Ceasar For The First Time

Dear wife,

I earn to be in your strong, powerful arms again, so you can squeez me tight and hold me close long after the morning sun rises. With your thick, muscular thighs, I could spend all of eternity in your embrace. But, I must say, my love for you has been in question lately. You see, I saw a man today who completely blew my mind. He reminded me of you quite frankly, with your many motions and what not, and his name, is Ceasar. He moved in such a way that I could hardly keep my eyes off of him, and when my eyes were able to stray away from his captivating body, he was on my mind. But how could he ever compair to you, with you dark eyes and your chisled good looks. I was having my oats and meal (editorís note: an old ceareal-likefood very similar to the modern day lucky charms) Ceasarís relationship sucks, he goes for the Egyptian chicks and his reql wife canít even bear children, but you got all that stuff down, hon. Youíre so awesome. You make the best food ever. Men from far and wide come from all over the place to eat what youíve got. They just want to eat everything about you. But I know that when they all leave, and you focus your cooking attention on me, Iíll be eating more than they could ever even imagine. When I get home, Iím gonna eat a whole barrel of what you got, and then Iím lick the plate clean. You have no idea how I long for you. How long as it been, and how long of a distance are we apart. It just seems too long to bear. Being with you keeps me tight and warm, in ways only you can do. Ceasar canít do it. Cassius canít do it. Only you can do it, and you do it better than anyoneís ever done it before.

Fake Letter To Brutus From A Government Offcial Pretending To Be A Roman Citizen

Dear Brutus,

Ceasar is much too power. Youíre just such an awesomer guy. Heís such a loser, and Iíd chill with you over him any day of the week! Youíre just so killer rad and Ceasar is an overratted loser. Did you hear that he dosnít even wear underwear? At first I thought it was quite provocitive, but now I thinks itís just sick. I had to sit in the same chair as him the other day, and I was cautious to say the least. He likes the most boring plays, and you like all the cool plays, youíre like, the most cool play dude ever. Ceasarís horse is so old. Youíre horse is really fast. His ambitions are bad, what with invading things an all, thatís totally not cool. Your ambitions are awesome, you just wanna party and boogy down like a groovy dude. He wants to take over all of Rome. But what about the really cool parts of Rome? Heíll really take all the culture out of all the cool parts of Rome. Youíll be making those places rockin, sockin, hip-hopin! How can you trust a man who marries an Egyptian, I think thereís mixed intentions there. You have such a wonderfull wife. Strong, powerful, manly. His wife couldnít even bare a child. Whats up with that!? Two people I trust in this entire world are Cassius and you, Brutus. But youíre totally the awesomer dude. You play a mean rockin harp, and make some bangin pottery. And Iíve never seen anyone scarf down a banana sandwich like you! You sure do enjoy the finer things in life, Brutus, and you know how to live em! So pleeease Brutus, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease do it. Not only for me, but for all of Rome. Only your greatness can surpass everything. You can do it the best and everyone knows it! So do it how you do it! Do it for me and do it for the people! Just do it all day every day, and thingsíll be all funky cool.

Yes, I wrote it, but it was posted by Dogar so it counts.

7.

Originally Posted by Dogar the Brave

He was reincarnated, but did not know his past. Then suddenly he did....then it was time for revenge.

Coming this June, written my Jack Off Rowling, the maker of Agnese the Talking Mule and Crotch my Tiger when I hide your Dragon.

One of the best films this year~Monthly Weekly

Hearthrobbing~Inside And Out

Exhilarating,Philosophical,Life Changing~Rosanne

Meet Jesus(Bill Cosby) born from a mother that never loved him and killed by the man who did. He had no regrets from his past life...acept one, he never went scuba diving until he scuba dived into his own soul. And there he realized that the only thing he had to revenge from was himself. So he meets up with a warrior with shady past,played by Will Smith. Two brothers that have lost all meaning to live, (Quincy Jones and Bob Barker) a girl that suffers from VD,(Gwen Stefani) a dog with no name(Ashly Simpson) and last but not least HOPE. Together they find the real meaning of disco. Boggy down to the theaters and watch the tale unfold.

"Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away..."

This was a collaboration post made by me and Dogar on the phone. It was especially great because it was posted in the middle of some really gay serious debate. Wonderful satire this!

6.

Originally Posted by Devil

Devil's STFU Ripdo image. If you need explaination as to what makes this great, you need to leave.

5.

Originally Posted by Fullmetal

Don't let the "What If" bird out of the "What If" cage.

Originally Posted by Ripdo

I hate that bird.
It messed up comics, TV and wasted a lot of peoples time

There HAS to be a Ripdo post here. And this is perhaps the best example of what Ripdo was. What is she talking about? Who the fuck knows? Why did she say that? WHO THE FUCK KNOWS. You can hardly wrap your head around how a person would even think to post something like that. But it's hilarious in its stupidity, and it's Ripdo. She was black.

4. Number 4 is the tragedy of this list. It was deleted, and I can't even ATTEMPT to re-create it. It was Mario's massive flame to chrizz the day he joined. It was the greatest flame in internet history. Just imagine how great you think it is, then realize it's WAY better. This is a sad number.

3.

Originally Posted by DragoniteAdy

Listen, Eve! Biology is one of my four passions in life. The other three are Maths, Pokemon and Chess. I confess that in these four domains, I can't be easily beaten!

I laughed for about an hour after I read this. What really makes it, is it was in the original confession thread, and he went back and EDITED the "I confess" part so that he STAYED ON TOPIC OF THE CONFESSION THREAD. aaaaaaaashagshagshagshags

2.

Originally Posted by Red530

Anyways, does anybody believe that Jesus could have had an affair with a woman? I think that he might have had an affair beucase there's nothing wrong with it. He was like any other man, just special and with a gift, that's all. And this might sound weird and we'll never know, but maybe he didn't have an affair with a woman but you know, the same gender...
And also, why is the Church against psychics?! I don't get it! I could go right up to a preist who is against them and say, "Wasn't Jesus a psychic?

If you didn't catch it, Red says Jesus was a psychic and insinuated he had a homosexual affair. He is being 100% serious. This is a historic post, and it set up who Red was known to be. Devil says this is the only post in PD history that make him legit lol. It's great and it has HISTORICAL IMPACT.

And now we are at the best post in PD history. I was on the phone and Dogar told me he found the best image ever, I told him to show it to me but he refused, saying the time must be right. Then, kg made a thread called "Daily Dose of Dilbert", where she would post a Dilbert comic every day. He says ITS TIME. I look in the thread ...

1.

Originally Posted by Dogar the Brave

It's Grotesque it's shocking. You don't know wether to laugh or throw up. Maybe do both at the same time. It was timed perfectly and at the time posting porn was still very TABOO here. it was dubbed "The Penis Bomb" and holds true. This post is number one due to shock factor, it was hilarious, over the line, RISKY, and became an entity of it's own. The Penis Bomb is a term known by all even if they never saw it. It is a deserving Number One post of all time.

Originally Posted by Pikatwo
I'm going to be a great moderator. My intellect, articulation and want to keep things on topic will set me apart from the rest.

Originally Posted by Devil
Pikatwo shows us once again that he is the most intellectual and articulate poster on the boards. While I was at it I took the liberty of correcting the errors in your post. You're welcome!

I can't recreate it nearly how it was but this gives you an idea. The real thing was much better.

What the hell? If you're going to post something from the past, at least get it right, or don't post it at all. Devil and I never said anything even close to that.