How to find the items in your love map

Why you need to understand your love map

I have talked about the love map many times before but i realized i never wrote any articles about how can someone find the items in his love map.

The reason you need to be able to clearly understand your love map is that unless you do you will make decisions based on emotions and you will hardly know what you really want.

I have said earlier the love map might have some flaws as well. If you didn't know how to bring your love map to your conscious attention then you might fall for the wrong person. See 10 signs you are marrying the wrong person.

In my book How to make someone fall in love with you i explained how most people aren't aware of the items in their love maps. This is why the decision to love someone is usually taken on the unconscious level.

If on the other hand you knew exactly what you are looking for then you will know where to look and how to look for that person.

How to find the items in your love map

The process of finding the items in your love map isn't linear simply because it can't happen before you get a strong degree of self understanding. Any normal person would find some other people attractive without knowing why. See Does getting butterflies mean you're in love

But as that person learns how to connect his emotions to his past he will be able to figure out why he gets attracted to some people and not others. Here is a very simple example. I know a woman who only gets attracted to blue eyed men.

This woman has blue eyes as well. Upon examining her past it was clear that she wants to be with someone who reassures her that she is great. This women always fell in love with her reflections , people who resembled her, because she wanted to prove to herself that her kind is the best.

Now does this mean that all blue eyed women will seek blue eyed men?
Of course no simply because each person has his own love map.

On the other hand i know a blond who only likes dark men. That woman always felt that she is weak and on the unconscious level she associated some of this weakness with being blond. For that reason this woman started looking for dark skinned men because she thought they are stronger. See why we find people attractive.

The practical steps

I know you want the practical steps, here you are :

1) Understand your past: Read a lot about psychology and try to get a clear understanding of your past for it's currently affecting your love map.

2) Understand your unmet needs: We all have many unmet needs that get reflected in our love maps. Read a lot about psychology and try to find out your exact unmet needs.

3) Analyze the people you liked earlier: Start analyzing the people you liked earlier to find out what was common between them.

4) Connect the dots: Once you find the traits that you like try connecting them with your past. In other words connect the dots until you find out exactly what you are looking for and why you are looking for it

2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.