How to Manage an Unhappy Marriage

“Allah has created you in pairs so that you may find comfort in each other.”
Marriage is the union of two souls. There is no doubt that marriage is hard and that happiness in a marriage may take some time. Marriage is not and cannot always be a happy fairy tale. It is real life, and as Muslims, we know that this life is only temporary and that everlasting happiness can just be found in the Hereafter.
So if you’re currently unhappy with your marriage, I pray that Allah makes it easy for you and blesses you with its comforts and serenity (Ameen). For now, here are some tips to get you over that hump.

It too shall pass

As Muslims, we know that this life is filled with trials and tribulations. An unhappy marriage may be one of these experiments. As with any testing, it is vital to stay patient. Think of the other trials you have been through and how you were able to make it this far. Like those trials, this too shall pass.

Trust in Allah

Allah (SWT) loves those who put their trust in Him. Allah is the Only One who knows what you are genuinely going through and He Alone can bring you comfort and remove your sorrows. So ask Allah for help and trust in Him. Know that everything happens for a reason. An unhappy marriage is a test from Allah, and one should observe patience and place their faith in Him.

Allah (SWT) knows best

Recall the verse, “O you who have believed; it is not lawful for you to inherit women by compulsion. And do not make difficulties for them to take [back] part of what you gave them unless they commit clear immorality. And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them – perhaps you dislike a thing, and Allah makes therein much good” (4:19).

Allah is the Master of the Universe. He is the Controller of all of our affairs. Only Allah knows what is right for us and what is wrong for us. Know that everything Allah (SWT) does has goodness in it. Our limited knowledge may not be able to grasp it, but knowing that Allah has our best interest at heart should bring us comfort.

All of this said, if one or both of you are truly unhappy in your marriage to the extent that it is impacting your deen, know that Allah has provided a solution for the wedding to be dissolved if one finds it necessary. Of course, this is the last resort, and I pray that Allah (SWT) blesses us with the comforts of righteous spouses and children so that they are the coolness of our eyes. Ameen