so i have made posts in the past. and lately heres a quick background story since then.

I've been kicked out of my dads house (i jsut turned 23 nov) just before he found out he has cancer
I lived onm sisters basement/playroom for 3 or 4 months
i now moved into a 2 bedroom appartment with my mom (canada) and she has mental health issues
since we have moved in together she has gone a very very long way in ever aspect of life.
but due to my insane addiction to oxy (from perscription) we are extreamly bbroke and i feel so terrible.
ever swince i found out about her mental state at the age of 12 years old i wanted to be old enough to live with her and help her and support her. now that im at that age im unable to work from my wrist(17 month wait list) and i have a horrible addiction. when i start to withdrawal i get so suicidal and its so hard to hold it back even though my mom suffers major depression anxiety and skizoactive (like skzitsofrinia) and i dont know what to do

today i was supposed to renew my meds and i usualyl got at 9/10 am. i didnt know i needed refill from dr because i jsut got refills one month ago andi usually get 5 refills (refill every two weeks) and when i woke up at noon i called pharmacy they said i have no refills. foudn out my dr closes at 12 on wednesday which left me FUCKEDDDDDD. it took me hours to find a solutions luckily someone i know brought me 2 40s. im perscribed 40 a day but have been taking like 10 40s a day sometimes and i hate myself so fucking much. now we have NO money for groceries like NONE. we both smoke and have 10 smokes left. we dont get paid till the 18th and i feel like such a loser. i wish i could help. idk what to do im in chronic pain, im so depressed. im a loser. aa freaking addict. and i jsut want to take care of my mom. now all her credits are maxxed. her overdraft maxxed. we have souch little food. im so worried and im praying for a miricle. ughh

I'm afraid praying for miracles won't do you any good mate. As Phantasia said, you need to get into treatment asap. I don't know what treatment options are available in Canada or how much it costs, but there must be some way of getting help. Your situation is unsustainable and it's not fair on your mum and others around you.

Unfortunately, this thread could be seen as a plea for money or drugs - therefore I'm going to have to close it.

Perhaps you could start another thread asking about treatment resources in Canada, which might elicit some useful responses.

After consulting with other mods, I have decided to reopen this thread, with one small edit to your post. I'm also moving it over to The Dark Side forum where they are more experienced in dealing with the issues you are facing. I still strongly suggest you seek treatment, both for your drug problem and the impact it is having on your mental health. It sounds like you've reached the end of the road mate. You need to turn back now before you go over the edge. It's still possible to turn your life around - even though it might not seem that way, but it's going to be a long hard journey that's for sure.

So I wish you all the best and soncerely hope things work out for you.

Hey there, sorry you're suffering. Opiate addiction sucks bad. However, there are a few things that should help you feel better:

As someone pointed out, there must be food banks and local services in place to help you get the food you need until you get money

Opiate withdrawal is not life-threatening. You CAN get past it even if just to the next refill

Canada has a pretty good situation as far as treatment, I believe, which would probably be a good idea for you

Check out the "tapering support" thread, people post there to get support for withdrawing from opiates and other drugs. I realize you're in a crisis now, but it sounds like if you're taking up to 400mg of oxy a day, you should really think about starting to taper down so you can still get pain relief but not be taking so much that you're going broke. It will take some work but all the good things in life do... and once you get into a better position I think your quality of life can dramatically improve.

I'd do what others suggest as far reaching out to local services for help for food. Food banks, social services, welfare, food stamps,.. those types of things. There are resources there and people who will help you apply for them. I know in the US the salvation army offers free treatment program and can help you apply for things you might need prior to being admitted. At the very least a place like that can point you to who can help if they can't. They could also probably help provide some assistance to your mother as well given her mental condition.

You could also consider something like methadone or Subutex to help with the pain until you recover. To be honest though, getting off opioids is a better idea even if you are in pain. Taking opioids over extended periods, even prescribed amounts, will cause your body to produce less of it's natural pain relievers because of the increase in opioids. The brain will try to stay at equilibrium, so when there is an increase in opioids the brain responds by producing less opioid-like neurotransmitters. This is why there is an increased sensitivity to pain and a lowered pain threshold when coming off opioids.

You might be able to detox at home, but just having others around who understand and can help you out when in need will make a world of difference. It doesn't really sound like a good place to be coming off that much oxy. I've always had a very dark depression like symptoms from opioid WD as well, and seems to be pretty common. Being alone with those thoughts running through your head is maddening.

At the very least feel free to vent, ask for help, or just update us on your situation.

More nails in coffins, I don't know how many elfs got there takin the.. followin

You got internet it's paid or maybe a wi-fi, If you can manage to post this then you can have bags too $

Mafioso said something bout detox at home but it's worst imo, I fuckin hate the gov too but there are some diff helps there which can induce a trance

They tried failed anyway back on subject > Just go to a rehab

It best if you tried some home exercies instead

e.g ..

Healthy few months after that doesn't mean you can't drink a coke or like fuckin having a episode with yourself you will understand why, been diagnosied and not by your head and also this doesn't make you a sheep