We were all going to sit at a big corner booth but then some other kids came and took our table so we had to split ourselves up into two booths: Thunderwheels and non-Thunderwheels.

Decided not to reinduct Steve.

Kicked TJ the heck out for never getting a unicycle.

Inducted Cliff as Honorary member for 1 month, with indefinite extensions as long as he continues to show motivation to learn how to ride. Cliff claimed that he was going to be getting a unicycle in two weeks.

Disallowed eavesdropping by the non-Thunderwheels table on the top-secret Thunderwheels business.

Officially condemned the Norristown Denny’s for serving only breakfast in the morning. Vote passed: 3-1-0

Inducted Jordan as honorary member for 1 month. Jordan claimed that he would be getting a unicycle after he upgraded his processor, sound card, and CD-ROM, paid for some train tickets, and bought himself a new car. Vote passed: 4-0-0

Decided to beat Mike with whacky noodles if he didn’t give us the option of making him an honorary member. We furthermore decided that if we made him an honorary member, he would have membership for one day, and could extend his membership by singing the "I’m a Little Teapot" song to a Thunderwheel every day for a month, and that if he lapsed for one day we would beat him with whacky noodles, and that if he did sing the song every day but failed to get a unicycle in the one-month period, we would beat him with wacky noodles anyway. Also, we decided to beat Mike with whacky noodles for losing Julie’s juggling balls, which had sentimental value to her. Vote passed: 4-0-0

Inducted Mike as an honorary member under the aforementioned conditions. Vote passed: 4-0-0
* In a stroke of Thunderwheel mercy, Mike never actually received any of these whacky noodle beatings.

Chuck proposed a resolution to make less resolutions, which was shot down.

Chuck made a motion to change the fundraising slogan from "Chuck is Stupid. Thunderwheels, by the way." The motion was shot down.

Chuck made a motion to put a new picture of Julie on the members page in which she would be unclothed. The motion was shot down.

Motion to condemn Chuck for #13.

Motion that Chuck was required to wear clothes in his picture no matter what.

Officially declared that it would be cool to have more of the official members come to the meetings and that we would actually tell them about it next time. Vote passed: 4-0-0

Set policy on I.O.U. (Idiots on Unicycles) to "As additional members of I.O.U. become a threat to us, we will handle them by inducting them into our gang as new members." Vote passed: 4-0-0

The Thunderwheels made an official suggestion to Chuck to get his driver’s license. Vote passed: 3-1-0
* Chuck was the only one who voted against it.

Decided to impose sanctions on Cliff until his unicyle is fixed, which was reportedly
supposed to be two weeks later.

Moved to absolve Mike of the two beatings owed to him (see last year's minutes). Vote passed: 4-0-1
* Julie abstained

Condemnation of Mike's beaters by Sean.

Item number 11 stricken from record.

Motion to condemn Nintendo for not making any more unicycle-related video games. Vote failed: 2-2-1

Committee of Sean reported progress on Thunderwheels t-shirts.

Motion to allow extensions to comments. Vote failed: 2-3-0

Motion to suspend rules so Chuck could punch Tony.

Decided to revise induction of members as follows: When new members apply, they can be added
to the web page by the web master, but they are not made official until voted in at the next official
meeting.

Claimed New Jersey, just because. Vote passed: 5-0-0

Claimed Toronto. Same reason. Vote passed: 5-0-0

Claimed PA. Vote passed: 5-0-0

Decided to send letter to Governer of Pennsylvania announcing our takeover. Sent to committee of Chuck.

Condemned Sean for forgetting to bring the list of new applicants and the minutes. Vote passed: 3-1-0

Jettisoned Cliff for never really learning how to ride his unicycle. Vote passed: 4-0-0

Decided to revisit the previous issue once it becomes fiscally viable to fire people into space. Vote passed: 3-0-1

Condemned Sean for not properly informing other members of the meeting. Vote passed: 3-1-0

Condemned other members for not showing up. Vote passed: 3-1-0
* Tony's reason for voting against: That Sean didn't tell the members, so they had no way of knowing.
* Julie's reason for voting for: That the absent members took no initiative to find out whether there happened to be a meeting that day.

Clarified that it is the Leader's job to notify all members of each meeting.

Contracted Mike to investigate astromoultocracy for the purpose of firing Cliff into space. Payment to Mike is to be in beatings. In the case that Mike declines the contract, he will be given the beatings for free. Vote passed: 3-0-1
* Chuck abstained on the grounds that although he is for firing Cliff into space, he cannot be for an astromoulocracy.

Commended Sean for actually notifying all the members all around the globe about the meeting, even though it was only an hour beforehand. Vote passed: 3-1-0

Placed a full censure on Chuck. By full censure, we meant "beating him up." Vote passed: 3-1-0

Condemned Mike for not having been "beaten and beaten well." Vote passed: 3-0-1

The Committee for Investigating the Feasibility of Annexing the U.S.A. Into Thunderwheels Turf (consisting of Sean) gave its report. His report: "It is possible."

Committee for A Whackier and Noodlier Whacky Noodle (consisting of Tony) gave its report. His similarly incredibly detailed report: "It is possible."

Motioned to appoint Steve to the Brownie Committee, and to administer a beating to Mike every time the Brownie Committee failed to provide brownies at meetings. Vote failed: 2-2-0
* Tony voted against on the grounds that he can't support any motion that involves annoying Steve.
* Julie voted for on the grounds that she has to support anything involving brownies.

Motion that Julie has to show up naked at every meeting, and we all bring her brownies. Vote failed: 2-2-0

Appointed Tony to the Pony Committee to investigate making the Pony our mascot. Vote passed: 4-0-0

Chuck motioned to keep new slogan for as long as the original slogan was in effect. Vote failed: 1-3-0

Motion to establish a Mikebeating slogan. Vote failed: 1-2-1

Motion to establish a 24-hour live web stream of the sound of Mike being beaten. Vote failed: 1-2-1

Committee of Tony promised to register thunderwheels.org.

Motion to make Chuck new official webmaster. Vote failed: 1-3-0

Motion to make Chuck new official webmaster, as long as every link opened in a pop-up window with an additional pop-up ad, he created everything in FrontPage, hosted it on IIS with no patches, and used the blink tag at least 18 times. Vote failed: 1-3-0

Commended server Dorion for her excellent service and for recommending Julie's delicious dessert. Vote passed: 4-0-0
* Chuck commented that he personally condemned the Bennigan's separately, for being very mediocre.

Voted on whether we should beat Mike an extra time with no justification whatsoever. Vote passed: 3-1-0.
* Chuck voted against, on the grounds that he felt sorry for Mike.

Motion to suspend rules.
* wanted to put old Business on hold so that we could induct Steve right away. Passed: 3-0-0.

Motion to induct Steve. Steve's candidacy speech: "You're ugly." Passed: 3-0-0.
* The idea was suggested to make that Steve's official catch phrase, and to market a talking "You're ugly" Steve doll.

Prompted the committee of Mike for the report on the feasibility of implementing astromoultocracy for the purpose of firing Cliff into space.
Mike's report: "Cliff has greater mass. Therefore, it is more difficult." Also, he told us to contact NASA for further information.

Resolution to finally make printed membership cards for all reachable members by next meeting. Passed: 3-0-1.

Motion to censure ourselves in advance for not doing it. Passed: 2-1-1.

Motion to award a Thunderwheels Purple Heart to Steve for bravery in face of his horrible unicycling injury. Passed: 2-1-1.

Motion to lock the new Fundraising Slogan in as long as the old one was in place. (Current slogan: "Tony is stupid. Thunderwheels, by the way." Old slogan: "Chuck is stupid. Thunderwheels, by the way.") Failed: 1-3-0.

Motion to condemn Tony for not showing up to meeting. Passed: 4-0-0.
* Steve: "All right fine, I'll condemn him."

Motion to instate the Official Tony is Gay Slogan as "Tony is gay, regardless of the car he drives, not that there's anything wrong with that. Thunderwheels, by the way." Passed: 4-0-0.
* The car reference was based on the Jetta taking first place on the The Ultimate Gay and Lesbian Cars Car Talk Top 10 List.

Promotions all around to those present. Passed: 4-0-0.
* Julie was promoted to Empress.

Motion to demote Tony from Official Webmaster to Unofficial Webmaster. Passed: 4-0-0.

Motion to appoint TJ as the Official Pump It Up mascot. Passed: 3-0-1.

Motion to appoint a Pump It Up Committee to create a Thunderwheels Song, to be paid in Mike beatings. Passed: 4-0-0.
Committee consists of TJ, Sean, and Julie. Julie vowed to work overtime for triple pay.

Report from Sean on status of membership cards, which were slated to be ready for this meeting (see 6th Annual Meeting, Item #4). Sean's report: "They're at the frame shop." When asked why they were being framed, Sean angrily replied: "You can take them out of their frames when you get them if you want." As to how long they would be in the frame shop: "I don't know. I have to call the guy."

Recognition of last meeting's resolution, when we censured ourselves in advance for not having the cards done on time. (see 6th Annual Meeting, Item #5).

Motion to commend Sean for e-mailing the members about the meeting ahead of time. (E-mails were sent half an hour beforehand.) Failed: 2-2-0.
* Julie: "He e-mailed them too early."
* Steve: "He e-mailed them too late."

Update from Steve on his recovery from the horrible unicycling accident earlier this year (see 6th Annual Meeting, Item #12). Steve: "I have a scar."

Motion to commend Steve for having an awesome unicycling scar. Failed: 1-1-2.
* Julie and Chuck abstained because they hadn't seen it yet.

Motion to add all the Mikebeatings Julie earned from her triple overtime pay on the Pump It Up Committee to Mike's Mikebeating Tab. (see 6th Annual Meeting, Item #23). Passed 3-1-0.

Motion to ignore that the Pump It Up Committee ever happened. (don't see 6th Annual Meeting, Item #22 or 23). Passed: 2-0-2.

Report on the progress of sending our Virginia representative to discuss the surrender of local rebel gang, "Heck on Wheel" (see 6th Annual Meeting, Item #27). Sean's report: "I sent [our Virginia representative] a telepathic message, but he didn't reply."

Motion to condemn Sean for never contacting our VA representative, and (Steve's amendment:) for not going rock climbing. Passed: 3-1-0.

Motion to condemn Sean for not updating the ThunderWeb with the new members, and (Steve's amendment: for not going rock climbing). Passed: 3-1-0.

Motion to commend Steve for not getting lost on the way to the meeting. Passed: 3-1-0.

Motion to lock new fundraising slogan in as long as the old one was in effect. Failed: 1-2-1.
* Current fundraising slogan is "Tony is stupid. Thunderwheels, by the way." Previous one was: "Chuck is stupid. Thunderwheels, by the way."

Motion to move thunderwheels.org to Chuck's server. Failed: 1-2-1.>i>
* Steve voted yes because Chuck said he'd go rock climbing, then recast his vote to no when he found out he would have to give Chuck a ride home.

Call from Mike for a status report on feasibility study of an astromultocracy for the purpose of firing Cliff into space (see 5th Annual Meeting, Item #1). His report: "We are still deliberating. Wanna go to Dave & Buster's?"

Motion to require that thunderwheels.org e-mail addresses are provided for all members who request them. Failed: 1-2-1.

Vote on whether Julie wants a pony. Unanimous Abstention: 0-0-4.

Motion to require Chuck to tell other members who have LiveJournal accounts about the new Thunderwheels community. Passed: 4-0-0.

Motion to censure Chuck in advance for not doing it, even though we know he probably will. Passed: 3-0-1.

Motion to induct new key Venezuelan member: Julian Higuerey Nuñez. Passed: 4-0-0.
* This effectively expands our turf to include all of South America.

Motion to all go rock climbing after the meeting. Failed: 1-2-1.

Motion to condemn Alice, the Official Cookie Provider, for not bringing cookies to the meeting even though she had ample warning (5 minutes to bake cookies and travel 200 miles.) Failed: 1-1-2.

Motion to condemn Julie for not bringing brownies, even though Steve sent her a telepathic message telling her to, and he received a telepathic message back saying "I will," and for not going rock climbing. Passed: 3-1-0.

Motion to condemn Julie and her dad for not springing for Internet access. Passed: 2-0-2.

Motion to condemn the waitress for not bringing separate checks. Failed: 1-1-2.

Motion for promotions all around for those present. Passed: 2-0-2.
* Julie became uber-empress.

Motion to assign I.O.U. (Idiots on Unicycles, our sub-gang in England) to take care of the uprising in Devon. Passed: 4-0-0.

Motion for Sean to contact our Virginia representative by e-mail, and not by telepathy, for him to discuss surrender terms with Heck on Wheel. Passed: 4-0-0.

Motion to appropriate $87 billion to quell dissent against the Thunderwheels around the world, to be drawn from our deficit. Failed: 2-2-0.

Motion to condemn Chuck for killing trees. Passed: 3-0-1.

Motion to condemn Julie for her slaughter of a cow (leather jacket, shoes, and cheesesteak.) Failed: 1-1-2.

Motion to make New Year's Resolution to unicycle this year in the headquarters state of Pennsylvania. Passed: 4-0-0.

Motion to promote Tony from Ashish back to Official Webmaster, with a solemn declaration never to demote him again. Passed: 4-0-0.

It was noted that Alice, the Official Thunderwheel Oatmeal Cookie Chef, had made cookies for the meeting for the first
time since assuming her duties. It was also noted that she was 200 miles away, with the cookies.

Tony asked secretary Sean for the e-mail list of all the members. Sean: "I guess I can send it to you. Even though it's
on the members page, on the website that you update, on your server." Steve suggested that Sean send Tony the URL to the web page.

Motion to declare Sean a bastard for not e-mailing the Virginia and I.O.U. members about confronting the rebel factions in their areas, and making Tony do it. Failed: 2-2-1.

Motion to appropriate $87 billion to quell dissent against the Thunderwheels around the world. Passed: 3-2-0.

Report from Tony and Chuck on the rebellions from isolated factions, Heck on Wheels, the Klowns, Muni Militia, The One Wheeled Warriors, the Royal Riders, the Noncooperative Union of Nonaligned Unicyclists, and other similarly laughable groups that have taken up a flame war with the Thunderwheels and each other on unicyclist.com.

Motion to appoint Chuck the Official Thunderwheels Liason to the unicyclist.com community forums. Passed: 4-0-0.

Motion to annex Liechtenstein*, to use as storage space. Passed: 3-0-1.
* But mostly because Julie speaks German. And she wants it.

Motion to condemn Steve for leaving. Passed: 3-1-0.

Estimated that the minimum number of beatings owed to Mike was 137.

Called Mike to inquire what figure he had estimated. Mike answered "No idea," and abruptly hung up.

Motion to add more beatings to punish Mike for hanging up on us. Failed: 1-2-2.

Motion to add 15 more beatings to the Mikebeating tally, bringing the total to 152. Passed: 5-0-0.
* Chuck wanted to add 50 beatings.

Motion to establish a Mikebeating Jar, to contain as many pennies as the number of beatings that he is owed, in order to keep better track of this important business. Amendment: Motion to demote U.S. currency to a simple unit of measure, in light of new official currency: Thunderbucks. Passed: 4-0-0.

Motion to lock new Official Fundraising Slogan ("Tony is stupid. Thunderwheels, by the way.") in effect as long as the old one was in effect ("Chuck is stupid. Thunderwheels, by the way.") Failed: 1-2-2.

Motion to appropriate another $87 billion to quell dissent against the Thunderwheels around the world. Decided to fund program by installing a tax on anything with more than one wheel, with a tax penalty for each additional wheel. Passed: 5-0-0.

Report from the Thunderbucks Committee on the design of our new currency, Thunderbucks. Tony: "They're also at the frame shop."

Update from the Media Relations Coordinator. Tony: Thunderwheels.org gets more hits than last year, averaging 40/day, up from 30/day last year.

Report from the Official Liason to Unicycling Message Boards. Chuck: After empty death threats from new unicycle "gangs," they quietly capitulated and recognized our awesomeness.

Motion to absolve Mike of all beatings. Passed: 3-0-2.

Psyche! Passed: 5-0-0.

Called Mike to confirm the number of Mikebeatings he is owed. Our records indicated 152. Mike said "somewhere between 0 and 32 million." He proceeded to offer unnecessarily complicated algorithms for determining the true number of beatings, which we rejected. Instead, we rounded the number up to 32 million to make things easier. It should be noted that Mike objected to this, not that it has to do with anything. We then doubled the number to 64 million, just because.

Commended ourselves for winning the glorious battle against rival gang, "Heck On Wheels." (They didn't show up. It was unclear whether anyone even told them about it.)

Motion to pass more motions. Failed: 2-2-1.

Promotions all around. Passed: 5-0-0.
Julie was promoted from "Uber-Ultra-Empress" to "Uber-Ultra-Super-Empress."
Steve was promoted to "Steve."
Tony was promoted to "Steve, But Not Ugly."
Steve was re-promoted to "Steve, But Taking a Potato Chip."

Declared the meeting a failure. Passed: 2-0-3.

Condemned Steve for not leaving early, like he did at every other meeting. Passed: 4-1-0.
* Steve was not the one against.

Inducted new member, Eric Brown, from Fishtown, PA. Passed: 3-2-0.
* Steve and Julie voted against, based on the name "Fishtown."

Motion to unicycle more than twice a year. Failed: 2-2-0.

Motion for Tony to stop making the annoying noise he was making with his notebook. Passed: 3-2-0.
* Tony flagrantly ignored the decree.

Voted on whether Steve wanted to be there. Steve was against because "You can't vote on facts." When it was pointed out that whether he wanted to be there or not was an opinion, Steve backpedaled by saying, "Yeah, my opinion." Passed: 2-1-0.

Report from the Membership Card Committee on the status of the membership cards, which have allegedly spent the last several years in at least two different frame shops. Sean: "I don't know. Don't ask me about that anymore."

Appointed Chuck to head of Wheel Tax Committee, when we realized no one had paid their taxes, and we needed someone to blame. Passed: 3-0-0.

Queried the Thunderbucks Committee for the status of our new currency, Thunderbucks. The Thunderbucks Committee (Tony) was apparently off gallivanting on a ski trip and could not be reached.

No report from the Media Relations Coordinator (also Tony--more skiing).

Motion to double censure Tony for shirking all gang responsibilities to go skiing. Passed: 2-1-0.
Steve: "Skiing is a good excuse."

Mikebeatings update. Mike was beaten a few times on one night in 2005 with whacky noodles. When Mike was called to confirm this, however, he was apparently too drunk at the time to remember.

As punishment for the 2005 beatings not sinking in, motion to give Mike more frequent and more hilarious beatings. Passed: 3-0-0.

Motion for Mike to buy Steve a Ferrari. Passed: 3-0-0.

Motion to commend the Thunderwheels for not losing any battles this year. Passed: 3-0-0.
Note: No battles on record.

Motion to unicycle twice a year. Passed: 2-0-1.

Motion to condemn Tony for not updating the Turf Map. Passed 3-0-0.

Motion to confirm that Tony is still dumb. Failed: 1-1-1.

Motion to change Official Fundraising Slogan to "Tony and Chuck are both dumb. Thunderwheels, by the way." Passed: 3-0-0.

Promotions all around. Passed: 3-0-0.
Julie was promoted to "Uber-Ultra-Super-Duper-Empress."
Steve was promoted to "Rockstar."
Sean was promoted to "Leader and Friend to All."
Tony was promoted to "Something That Doesn't Involve Steve."
Tony was also promoted to "Junior Intern of the Bunny Slopes."

Decided to postpone unicycling until after the meeting, due to pouring rain. This made steve--who hates the meetings and only came to unicycle--very angry.

Realized we forgot to bring last meeting's minutes.

Called Mike to bring the minutes to the meeting, but he said no.

Steve claimed to have pored over the minutes every night and "remembered" that the first resolution was to unicycle every meeting rain or not.

Called Mike's girlfriend to get her to get Mike to bring the minutes, but she also said no.

Steve--the only one who felt the need to drink, for some reason--ordered another White Russian.

What happened:

Steve motioned to condemn the group for postponing unicycling because of rain, which they allegedly wouldn't do for football, thereby making us look less tough than football players. Failed: 1-3-0.
* Steve: "Bastards."

Motion to commend group for extending meeting by an hour, instead of unicycling. Passed: 3-1-0.
* Steve: "I want to kill myself."

Motion to print out last meeting's minutes, wrap them around whacky noodles, and give Mike 100 beatings with them for not reading them to us over the phone when we asked. Also, one extra beating to Mike for his girlfriend not reading them over the phone to us either. Pased: 3-1-0.

Discussed starting a dating service for unicyclists.

Steve motioned to change gang name from "Thunderwheels" to "Thunder sitting at Appleby's eating dinner" Failed: 1-1-2.
* Chuck abstained: "I'd have to register a whole new domain name."

Committee of Chuck reported: "Thunderwheels.org has lapsed because some idiot(*) forgot to renew the domain. I registered Thunderwheels.net and restored the website."
* Tony

Motion to commend Chuck for his work, and to promote him to Official Webmaster, replacing Tony. Passed: 4-0-0.

Motion to condemn Tony, and revoke his bacon privileges, because "bacon is a privilege, not a right." Passed: 3-1-0.

Motion to change Fundraising slogan from "Tony and Chuck are both dumb. Thunderwheels, by the way." to "I can't Believe Tony Let the Freakin' Domain Name Expire. Thunderwheels, by the way." Passed: 3-1-0.

Sean motioned that we all tell Steve we're going home after dinner, wait till he leaves, then all go out unicycling. Failed: 1-1-2.

John called at this point and read us last meeting's minutes over the phone.

Re: ID cards, First a report from Chuck: Chuck went to the frame shop where Sean alleged they have been since 2004, and showed them a picture of Sean. The frame shops said they had neither seen Sean before, nor ever heard of the ID cards.

The ID Card Committee, consisting of Sean, refuted this report with the following pie charts and timeline--both in color (blue):
Sean reports: "Terrorists have kidnapped 99% of our ID cards from the frame shop and are holding them hostage in response to our occupation of South America. The other 1% were eaten by my dog."

Steve reported on Mike's assignment to buy him a Ferrari. Apparently, Steve had not received the Ferrari yet.

Report from Mike: "I established an exploratory committee for the Ferarri Fund. They got as far as asking who Steve is." He went on to explain that before his girlfriend will let him buy Steve a Ferrari, he has to buy her jewelry. We suggested that using the new, improved Fundraising slogan might help.

Motion to appoint Sean and Tony to Thunderwheels 10-year Reunion Committee so we'll get to see all the Thunderwheels we haven't seen in a while. Passed: 3-1-0.

Regarding our resolution to unicycle at least twice a year(link to resolution) and disregarding the fact that we have not unicycled once since then: Motion to commend ourselvesfor being on track for 2006 unicycling quota. Passed: 3-1-0.

Steve reports: "When I close my eyes, I can see myself, murdering you all."

Promotions:
Julie was promoted to "Uber Ultra Super Duper Empress of Awesome."
Chuck was promoted to "Official Webmaster."
Steve was promoted to "Steve, but Actually Unicycling."
Sean declined to be promoted, keeping the title of "Friend to All."