The Texas School Books Don’t Go Far Enough

In May this year, the Texas school board passed their ten-year revisions to their public school textbooks. The new standards are the most God fearing, anti-science, pro-conservative revisions in history, but they don’t go far enough.

The Texas school board is trying to bring God back to this Godless nation. One way they can do this is by bringing more Jesus into the textbooks. Old textbooks would tell us that the First Amendment protects freedom of religion and protects us against government institutionalization of a state religion. As freedom loving Joseph Lieberman and former Senatorial candidate Christine O’Donnell both said, “…the Constitution guarantees from of religion, not freedom FROM religion.” (link 1)(link B)

There is no freedom from religion in this God fearing nation, and we will make sure that you aren’t free from religion, ever, especially in school. Religion is pamphagous in our nation, and resistance is futile.

So, we must shoe horn the truth into our textbooks that this nation was founded as a Christian nation, and no other religion should be allowed.

First, we need to replace the Bill of Rights with the Ten Commandments in all history textbooks. As every sane person knows, the Bill of Rights is unconstitutional. And other than the Second Amendment that enforces gun ownership, and the Tenth Amendment giving states rights, the Bill of Rights only protects liberals who commit crimes. We don’t want criminal protections in America. As everyone knows, being accused of a crime means you are guilty. So we don’t need the 4th through 8th Amendments and all the legal excuses liberals call protections.

Moreover, the Tenth Amendment allows us to do Gods bidding: cut Medicaid state by state, ban legally protected health procedures state by state, and lets the states decide on whether to have slaves or not. We will protect the Tenth Amendment with our Second Amendment rights to threaten people with our Second Amendment rights. (link)

On another religious note, we must put a statement in all textbooks that Islam is an evil religion that attacks innocent people and that Christianity has never been used as an excuse to kill anyone who didn’t deserved to be killed. And, all math was created by white Europeans and East Indians, Arabs, Mayans, the Chinese and other cultures had nothing to do with anything we do even if we do use Arabic numbers and French words.

While the Texas textbooks resuscitate the image of Joseph McCarthy, the God fearing socialist hunter, we need to start hunting and black-listing all non-Christians. One way to get the ball rolling it to put more information about all the sin committed by socialists like Franklin Roosevelt and Dwight Eisenhower, who as we know was a communist spy.

We need to get rid of any mention of rights movements led by the devil’s henchmen: terrorist Mexican Cesar Chavez, Anti-war America hater Dr. King, Revolutionary Thomas Jefferson, Man Hating Cady Stanton and Julia Ward Howe, Muslim Malcolm-X, Indian Heathen Russell Means and many other socialists. What did these folks ever do for America anyway?

What we need to do is take the “rights” out of history texts and just talk about the right, like Ronald Reagan, our savior.

And finally, the Texas school board has standards that attack science for the heathen devil worship it is. Science is the devil’s creation, used to hide the word of God behind verifiable facts. (link) For example, all grade school textbooks will question global warming, thanks to recent vote. (link)

“We are adding balance,” said Dr. Don McLeroy, the leader of the conservative faction on the board, after the vote. “History has already been skewed. Academia is skewed too far to the left.” (link) (linklet)
The Texas State Board of Education board members believe that there is an over-representation of minorities in textbooks. Most of these members are strongly conservative and believe that the separation of minorities should be done away with. (link)

It’s getting harder and harder to laugh at this stuff… Or perhaps more accurately, to laugh with anything but psychotic-sounding laughter. You know, the kind of laughter that’s mixed with tears and screams and scary guttural sounds all–at the same time.

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Doing away with due process would save money. I’ve always said: “They wouldn’t have arrested him if he weren’t guilty, would they?”

What about the Jews? Did Texas say anything about the Jews? It’s not that I’m on a single-track, it’s just that we gotta make plans. Bad things happened to Jews when we didn’t have plans. So let me know what Texas plans for the Jews as soon as you know. We’ll be happy to hook up with LGBT, people of color, indigenous peoples and people under 5′ tall.

Wouldn’t it be hilarious if at the very moment the far Right converts this country to a full-fledged, lawfully enforced, theocracy, the government got taken over by Muslims? It would suck ass bigtime, but the looks on their faces would be priceless!