I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue.

My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time. When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?" Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I wouldn't choke on his response; because he would have a good one. And in classic style he did not bat an eye before giving his response.

"Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."

Heard that one back in my Navy days, but it's still funny. One side effect of the Internet, kids are able to see that their 'wild' ideas are on the 10th time around.

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Remember one unassailable statistic, as explained by the late, great George Carlin: "Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!"