The Improved Bullshit Detector Test

Provocative Bullshit

46% fabrication, 55% wankery, 68% hubris

Yours is seriously the worst kind of bullshit. Your arrogance and pretension is off the fucking charts. You have this thing where you think people are shocked and offended by your crassness, vulgarity, yappy blustering, ostentatious "alternative" behavior...You know, all that stuff you do. It's not revolutionary. It's boring. It's desperate jockeying for attention, be it positive or negative. Your "lifestyle choices" are utterly banal and mundane. You're about as edgy as the wrong side of a five-dollar drugstore chef's knife. Real shock and offense is derived from fear, and you're not scaring anybody. You're too insecure for self-love, so let's call it self-obsession. Nobody buys your bullshit. Change your tune. Start from the beginning. If you're really creative enough to find a way to Shock and Offend people, then I'm behind you 100%. But if you find me behind you, the odds are that i'm there because there's less bullshit on that side. Good luck!

All possible test results

Yours really is the worst kind of bullshit: the boring kind. You bullshitted this test. You skipped questions, you answered dishonestly; you play-acted through my hard work like it was some kind of ai... Read more

Yours is the worst kind of bullshit. You've got yourself convinced that you're the earthly incarnation of all that is sophisticated, urbane and refined. Listen, twatbot. When you talk, I wonder if you... Read more

Yours is the worst kind of bullshit. One of your favorite refrains is "I hate all this drama". And yet you're manufacturing it, you gibbering diva. You gossip like an elderly Basque matron. You nark l... Read more

Yours is the worst kind of bullshit. Don't consider this a political barb; it's merely a personal attack. Everyone knows you're an ideologue, asshole. You have not been appointed personal spokesman fo... Read more

Yours is the worst kind of bullshit. You've got your head so far up your ass, your alimentary canal is becoming a Klein bottle. You conveniently ignore vast swaths of reality in order to support your ... Read more

Yours is the worst kind of bullshit. You'll happily point out all the ways the people around you are brainwashed, misled, confused, bandwagoning, deluded; evidently you are immune to all of this. My g... Read more

Yours is the worst kind of bullshit. Your forced and stilted absurdity is not quirky and charming, nor is it truly "random". In fact, you overuse the word "random". You're a pile of clichés, all fist... Read more