If you want to get ahead in show business, you’re gonna need seven things: talent, luck, a car, knowing how to be an actor, ambition, good face and a catchphrase! I’m really good at dreaming up kooky stuff to say over and over again, so I thought I’d help you out. Pick one of the following catchphrases and let it become the cool thing that makes you YOU!

Happy Catchphrases

Get, while the gettin’ stinks!

Now that’s a big dog!

Teach me how to juggle.

My keys were in my hand!

I love my family.

Crepes!

Wistful Catchphrases

We’ll always have middle school.

This…this was special.

I can hear that old cock a crowin’.

They were drunk, but we were drunker.

Mean Catchphrases

Suck my egg!

Boom I punched you!

You don’t know shit from dick!

Drink this mocktail!

Honestly you’re bad.

Noise Catchphrases

Unh!

Booff!

Squim?

Tfffffs!

Gurn.

Happy catchphrasin’!

The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!