Pages

Friday, September 14, 2012

Shut Doors and Other Directions

After the earthquake in 2010, aid groups were going down to Haiti all the time, and I thought, "Surely now God will give me a chance to go." But it was not to be. I was working, I was broke, I didn't have any connections or leads for how or when or with whom to go, and the door remained shut.

Off and on, between then and now, I would meet people who had been to Haiti, or I would see a documentary on television about aid work down there, and always, my ears would perk up. "Haiti? What are they saying about Haiti?" I even met a guy who had been inside the Cité Soleil.

But Spain still seemed to be the thrust of my ministry, and I held Haiti loosely, waiting for God to reveal His will in His time. It was always in the back of my mind, but I was still unsure if it was merely my own idea, or if it was something God was hallmarking in my heart.

I went to Betel and loved it, and I thought that was going to be my life calling, my permanent life's work. Haiti seemed to retreat into the background. "Oh, well," I thought. "I guess it just wasn't meant to be."

But on my very last day in Betel, something happened that called into question my certainty that this was my life's calling, and I am still unsure at this very moment whether God is going to have more for me to do there.

Then God clearly and unmistakably led me to attend Ellerslie's training during the summer. It seemed like a perfect fit--I would attend the training, which fit perfectly into the window of time I had available between returning from Betel and attending the candidate orientation seminar with the mission board. God also miraculously had provided the money. I applied, got accepted, and went.

Even before I left, I remember saying to my mom, "You know, Ellerslie has a mission society--and they go to Haiti. I wonder if God wants to do anything with this?"

I didn't know it at the time, but it was at Ellerslie that God's hand would really start to move.