Baa Baa

Okay. Black sheep because I dated a guy when I was in high school my folks didn't like. Black sheep because I quit college to get a job and (gasp) an apartment. Black sheep disguised for 25 years when I became a good girl and born again Christian. Then got wet somehow and all that white wool revealed the black creature that I am. I left my husband, my children, everyone. I came back to my roots to find myself. I felt like I'd been a puppet on a string and I really meant to do it right, but I just never fit. Shame on you! I was told. And I'm still suffering the repercussions. They try to associate with me but everything I do isn't right because I don't fit into the mold they want me to. I could go into more details but I'm tired right now, hence I googled black sheep of the family and came across this...

Okay, I am confused. I read this as YOUR OWN story, until the last line, about googling black sheep of the family and coming across this. Now, I am not sure what it means. Is this all you? Or is it a story you found on google, and discovered that it relates to you in some way?

AAHHHH, I get it. Good. I am glad it brought you to us. Welcome to EP. I'm a bit late with the greeting, as you seem to have been here for nearly a month, but still.....welcome. Do you have an EP volunteer helping you with navigating the site?

I hope you will stick with us. I stumbled across EP, in Sept 2010, and have never regretted becoming a member. It has got me through some dark times. Somehow, writing and telling about the stresses oin your life, seems toreally help. Even if you are telling strangers and getting responses from strangers, it is good. Sometimes you can get better responses from people who are not personally invested in your life. What you say, cannot be construed as a criticism of how you were raised or treated by family. We are just here to listen and talk if you need us.

Thank you ksparrow for your words on my story. It is nice to know there are friends out there that can relate, although I'd never wish this feeling on anyone. But the understanding and the knowing can get us through. (((hugs))) Yes, baby steps. Today.... just.one.thing...

Many of your thoughts are similar to mine... I stare at the devil in the mirror every day wondering if that is who I am, or the goodie-two-shoes-nice guy whom everybody thinks I am. I am always arguing with the good angel on one shoulder, and the evil demon on the other shoulder. <br />I am so on the verge of losing what I have to gain what I think I want. But will it be better once I cross that line? And if I do cross that line can I ever return? Will it ever be the same?<br />So many times, I feel like the prodigal son before he left his home... wanting to see what's out there... What kind of fun, and exciting pleasure there is to experience... I know he had fun, but then went through hell, but he returned to a loving father. I wonder if life was ever the same for him again?

You know you could be my twin parts of my life and being the black sheep mirrors yours. People and family don't understand that we are unique I understand your frustration at not fitting into the families mold and concept of what a person should be.

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