Inside the royal reception

AS anyone who has ever attended a wedding knows, the service is all very nice and you might shed a dignified tear when the priest says something about love, but you're all really jonesing to get to the reception and tie one on.

So you can only presume that Princess Eugenie's wedding to the tequila chap was no different.

The royals had a fairly strict "no social media" policy for the nuptials, but thankfully Hollywood A-listers think they're above that sort of thing, so we have a little bit to work with.

Let's break out a bottle of French and enjoy the highlights:

The newlyweds' departure for the reception was delightfully unlike Harry and Meghans'

It was an iconic image from Prince Harry's wedding to Meghan Markle - the Hollywood actor appearing in a second slinky wedding dress to slide gracefully into a vintage car and glide off to the wedding reception.

Harry and Meghan had that movie star poise when they headed off for their reception.

There were some similarities with Jack and Eugenie's departure, in that they came out of the same doorway and they were married just hours before, but that's where it ends.

The bit where everyone realises there’s an awful lot of dress to cram into a small car.

This couple opted for a futuristic Aston Martin that appeared in a recent Bond film. There was no second outfit for the bride, so her sister and husband had to bundle her bulky train into the car with zero decorum whatsoever. The lack of stage managing here makes us very happy indeed.

This is a serious feat of engineering.

“Ha ha ha, oh god, we should have gone with the Tarago”.

The wedding party actually goes for two days

It should come as little surprise that the guy who managed nightclubs in London and now reps a booze brand should go all out for his wedding.

After the ceremony in Windsor chapel, the 800-odd guests attended a luncheon reception hosted by the Queen. The stand-up reception took place in Waterloo Chamber, the big ol' reception hall at Windsor Castle. This was where the newlyweds cut the cake, which was a decidedly subtle affair (!) emblazoned with their intertwined initials.

The wedding cake.

Once everyone was well and truly over standing for an extended period of time in heels, it was time to head off to the second evening reception at the Royal Lodge, which is Prince Andrew's royal residence that he shares with his ex, Fergie (tres progressive).

According to PEOPLE Prince Andrew gave a speech where he got a laugh at his new son-in-law's expense.

"The Duke told a story about their dog Jack [a Norfolk terrier]," a source told PEOPLE.

"One day, I think it was early in the relationship, he shouted 'Jack, get off the chair'. And the dog didn't move, but Jack did!"

Once everyone recovered from that zinger of an anecdote, it was on to yet another party the following day (Sunday).

The Sunday soiree was described as a festival-style event complete with fairground attractions, food stalls and bloody marys. And presumably crippling hangovers.

The celebrity pics that leaked on social media

Sure, you can politely ask people not to post photos of your big day on social media, but there's always the person who drinks too much and totally forgets, or the person that thinks those rules don't apply to them.

Which is good news for us.

Designer Stella McCartney shared a pic of the evening dress she designed for Demi Moore (I guess if you’re not actually attending the wedding and just designed the dress, the social media ban doesn’t apply to you? Good loop hole).

Singer Ricky Martin decided to Live la Vida Loca by breaking the social media ban at the afternoon reception hosted by the Queen.

Actor Liv Tyler took this pic of Derek Blasberg, Cara Delevingne, Dave Gardner, Poppy and Chloe Delevingne relaxing after the royal wedding of Princess Eugenie and Jack Brooksbank. Guess it doesn’t count if you’re back at your hotel room between parties.