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This is a Touchy Subject

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This is a touchy subject, one I’ve wanted to address for a long time. There are so many reasons people put their health last. The top two I’ve found is that people lack time and money.

So I began to pay attention to what many people DO with their time and money, and when I got back into tutoring this summer, it really hit me. People don’t bat an eye to pay me $60/hour to get their kids ready for the SAT.

This, of course, got me thinking about how much money I spend on my kid. It’s a lot – especially considering how much I limit him to certain activities AND I only have one child to consider.

We love his karate program: it costs over $2000 a year and he attends 2x/week. What he’s learned and how he’s changed have been priceless. However, several times a season, classes are cancelled for various reasons. Twice a year the owner goes on vacation and shuts down. Comparatively, a Method 360 membership is $1300/year – and many clients come 6 days a week. I’ve had no problem shelling out $2000…but would I be willing to spend $1300 on myself for a year of fitness? Hmmmm….

Can we talk about swimming lessons? Very worthwhile with an excellent instructor, but a 30-minute lesson costs $25 a week! I hear lots of parents talk about how they keep their Y membership because of the “free swimming lessons.” Hello??!! You are paying for that shit, people! But they don’t want to get a Method membership for themselves because “I already have my Y membership”…even though they dislike the classes and don’t utilize the facility!

And oh! Camps! One of Jack’s four-day camps this summer was $250! I almost lost my mind paying for that one, which didn’t include any of the necessary lacrosse gear or footwear. In what universe would I ever pay $250 for myself to attend a 4-day camp?

Clearly, I am making some choices for my kid that I may not make for myself. You probably are, too.

Like the client with an injury who could really use some 1:1 attention in a personal training session. “Oh! $35 a half hour? No, I can’t afford that.”

Or the person who has been going to the same gym for years without seeing any progress. “I can’t pay $115/month!”

And the client who is struggling to lose fat, even though she’s training 5x/week and eats fairly clean. “What? $80 for a 45-minute assessment?” Ah, yes. Why invest in a 1:1 session to figure out what’s going on with you?

Finally, those who don’t have time. Where did you get the time to bring your kid to see me for tutoring? Where did I get the time to schlep Jack to karate? I didn’t GET it. I didn’t HAVE it. I MADE IT. For him.

To see if I was being overly cranky, I asked my 8-year-old son to read this post. He said, “Mom, it’s important that people let their kids DO stuff. But I guess it can’t be an EXCUSE.”

Dead on, kiddo. Dead on.

Certainly, money and time are dear and different for every single person. But they cannot become excuses. Why can you afford $60/hour for tutoring for your kid? Why can you afford a summer of camps? Why can you make time for your children to be in activities every season?

Simple: because it’s a choice you make. You make the time. You make the call. You make the choice. I always have to remember or be reminded to make the choice to put myself on the damn list, and so do you. Consider this your October reminder!

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we all make choices every day, weighing the benefits of each possible outcome. All too often we choose our children over ourselves, because that’s generally what good parents do. If that “kids over me” instinct didn’t kick in once we had children, we would all be egotistical narcissists and terrible parents.

Having said that, I do agree that one should balance the needs of one’s children with one’s own needs…..after all, if the parent isn’t healthy or happy or satisfied with their life, what kind of parent is he? And kids, being the self-centered little shits that they are, need to know that their parents have needs and desires, too…..and are worthy of them.

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