Monday, February 27, 2012

Age: 33/???
Ht:5'9" (tall for a gob)
Wt: 130 lbs.
B/W/H: svelte/trim/slightly swively
Hand: Right
Eyes: Golden (his original eyes were Silver)
Skin: Red
Hair: Green
Musculature: He's known for having incredibly well developed shoulders and legs. The rest of him is hardened and lean from both digging as well as repeated battles.

Demeanor: Affable and always with a gentle, warm smile on his handsome face, the Goblin King (real name stricken from the record upon ascending the throne) is well-known to be an outspoken, charismatic force to be reckoned with on the political and mercantile scene. Despite this he can also handily take down down a Big Boy if need be, and can achieve great levels of violence if provoked enough.

Description: A beautiful example of his people, the Goblin King encapsulates all that their race has to offer and then some. Beautifully handsome, exquisitely shaped and versatile in his talents, the Goblin King had at one point in time almost talked the four kingdoms into an alliance, having hinted at dangerous enemies beyond the shorelines protected by the Spine that separated the mainland from the eastern sea.

Then came the Krieg, and a long, drawn-out war between the Goblinate Forces and the Army, giving the other three pseudo-allies the chance to witness the Krieg tactics and buy them time to marshal their own resources.

For what it's worth, the Goblin King fought at the frontlines each time a skirmish went down, many times going head to head with The Beast himself only for it to end in a victory for the Kriegs or a stalemate if he was good enough/lucky. This tenacity and battle prowess is what moved the Beast to accept them as vassals and allow them the slow integration into Krieg society.

The Goblins, grudgingly accepting this rather than mass execution at the hands of their conquerors, may not be as submissive as they seem.

Sexy and sensual, vicious and violent, there is a saying as old as the Incubus Kingdom on Battleworld: "A goblin betrayed is an enemy for generations. A goblin defeated but not killed is the knife just waiting to find you."

The Goblin King himself may be able to live up to that ideal, if he has his druthers.

His golden eyes, the second time ever to be seen amongst the Goblins, are actually the eyes of his friend and battle commander Eschra, his eyes having been ripped from him during a fierce battle against The Beast. Eschra, saving him from the skirmish, prayed to the goddess-mother of the goblins and sacrificed her own eyes to him, not only giving him his now-golden eyes (proof beyond measure of the goddess' favor - Eschra's eyes were the normal Goblin red) but re-growing her own in an instant, now silver-eyed, bearing the mark of the goddess' chosen.

Queen Alvierra

Age: ???
Ht: 5'0"
Wt: ???
B/W/H: 30/24/30
Hand: Ambidextrous
Eyes: Violet
Skin: Green
Hair: Red, usually worn long but will shave it into a mohawk during times of battle, a ancient symbol of violent intent amongst the Gobs.
Musculature: Despite her well-known powers as a Zapper, her body is incredibly fit and well-muscled from years of working as a soldier as welll as with the Goblin Cannonade.

Demeanor: It's been noted that no one can truly know the woman once known as the Goblin Queen. From her long history fighting against the Incubi alongside the resistance fighters to free Battleworld from their tyranny to her having ascended the throne three times only to sway back whenever she felt like it, her tally of secrets are long and half-guessed at. Her power is undeniable though, and her charisma and care for her people second only to the current King.

She has shown herself at various times to be a shy schoolgirl, a celibate nun, a powerful dominatrix, and a goblin woman of stature and confidence. Always when called upon to be a Zapper has she been wise with her abilities, and as a soldier she can be as bloodthirsty and vicious as any gob.

Description: Tall for a gob woman and genuinely the second oldest creature on Battleworld that isn't Overpowered, Alvierra has dissapeared several times from the Forces to live her life out as an herbalist, then a celibate nun, fasting and in prayer for her people. Always whenever she was called to return to the Forces in order to re-establish the royal bloodline or to oversee the new governing body she would do so. At several points in time it was even to forcibly eject a would-be tyrant from the throne, her skill with sword and shield well-known.

To the short-lived Goblins, she is the avatar of their Goddess and a champion of the people. In reality she's just a very long-lived goblin with a strong sense of duty and responsibility.

That's not to say that she doesn't have her own playful side as well, having spent more than some of those "wandering" years amongst the Horde, enjoying what they do best and living as an ambassador for her people, sharing many a game with her friend The Beauty.

Recently Alvierra had returned to the social scene ever since the current Stalemate began, her counsel to the King alone, her presence unnoticed or uncared about by the Kriegers.

It has been often said that should Alvierra's eyes turn golden, then the entire battlefield will be cleared of all life.

The Jester

Age:???
Ht: 4'9"
Wt: ???
B/W/H: It's been suggested that her proportions can change at will. As such, she's also far too agile for anyone to do anything but guess that she's possibly a B-cup.
Hand: if asked she'll start pulling out fake hands from her pockets, which only materialized at the last second. Strange since she wears a harlequin unitard.
Eyes: One eye violet, the other silver.
Skin: Green, though sometimes she's known to be decked out with wild tattoos. No one knows how she's able to take them off or cover them up, goblin tats are a magical process. No known gob tattoo artists have ever worked on her.
Hair: Normally she wears a fool's twin-tailed and belled cap, but an old scroll (and rare glimpses) suggest that it's blonde and usually kept short.
Musculature: As flexible as a gymnast, as skillful as a contortionist, and too goddamned fast for anyone to guess beyond "Pretty fucking good for her size."

Demeanor: The Jester is an enigmatic figure amongst the court. None can naysay her wishes, and those wishes can sometimes be comically out of place or extreme, though never out of maliciousness but rather a certain mischievousness. Most of the Forces likes her presence and on the battlefield, where she dances and capers, she is taken as a good luck charm by the soldiery.

She almost always speaks in riddles, usually never makes any sense until the very last moment, and is regarded as being a mystic in her own right for her predictions.

Unlike Kings and Queens of the past (even in Alvierra, whom the Jester has been something of a squire, something of a servant, but always friends), the Jester has been seen in the current King's personal attendance more than once, the two talking as if old friends. Some say this is a calculated maneuver in order to upset the Goblins' favorite pastime of hooking their royalty up with other popular celebrity types.

Description: Beautiful in her own right, classically costumed in a Jester's harlequin outfit with viciously red gloves, the Jester has quite a fanbase amongst the Goblins devoted to her, some through several lifetimes. Her origins are unknown, and anything about her beyond her current hobbies and fascinations are a mystery (especially because they seem to change so drastically from day to day).

Many take her to be the current avatar of the goddess who begat their underground race. Of course those same ones also believed she'd make a great Queen for the current King, mainly because she's the most recognizable figure amongst the court.

Sadly enough, it's well known amongst the royalty that Goblins underneath the royalty are normally so dense in the skull, something normal Gobs take great delight in.

It's been suggested that at one point in time one of the Jester's eyes was black, the other golden. No one from that by-gone era are alive anymore though, and Alvierra doesn't remember or won't talk about it.

Mister Harrowgrove

Age: 13
Ht: 3'0"
Wt: 100 lbs.
B/W/H: Hard to tell - he always wears pimp coats and business suits tailored to his size.
Hand: Left
Eyes: Red
Skin: Green
Hair: Black and short.
Musculature: Despite his seemingly soft work, he actually does some of the caravanning himself, thusly always keeping his fighting abilities and skills up to par. He's not the best fighter out there, but his skills can be surprisingly strong and capable depending on the situation.

Demeanor: Shrewd, thoughtful, calculating. Very shrewd, very thoughtful, very calculating. VERY shrewd, VERY thoughtful, VERY calculating.

Description: It's been often said that Mister Harrowgrove was a goblin's worst friend. This isn't that bad of a derogatory statement as one would think, but rather a testament to the populace's estimation of his skill and mercantile prowess. Indeed he's known on sight for being a snazzy dresser, and though he doesn't inexactly disdains the underground realms of the Goblinate Forces, it's more like he just doesn't want to muss his clothes up. Stubborn and old by goblin comparisons, he's set in his ways and quick to rise to a challenge, more than willing to prove himself capable whether it be manual or mental labor.

Blackhearted Marron

Age: 113
Ht: 6'0"
Wt: >this section has been violently ripped off the sheet<
B/W/H: 38/28/36
Hand: Right
Eyes: Gold
Skin: Green
Hair: Blazingly Red. Wears it very long, even in the middle of battle, and usually braids a blade at the end of it for surprise "flicker" attacks, as well as a humongous ball of metal for blunter flick-attacks.

Musculature: Heavy and dense due to her training and her love of Mining. It's not that she's bulky with muscle but, rather, that years of mining, training and battle have hardened the lines of her body to a glorious edge.

Demeanor: Quick to wrath, quick to violence, and absolutely loves fighting. There's currently a running poll between who is a better fighter, her or her younger brother, the current Goblin King. She's also somewhat haughty and prideful due to being the tallest goblin, female or male, to have ever been born.

Description: Blackhearted Marron is actually quite one-dimensional, almost Krieg-like in her love of battle and her irresistible physicality. As Queen she would have ruled through outright intimidating and fear, perhaps even prompting Queen Alvierra to dispose of her before her ascension (a fate normally one so marked and chosen as Marron could never deny), and despite that she's still one of the most beloved figureheads due to her dangerous grace, her overt beauty, and her height and beautiful musculature.

Ever since her birth she had been groomed towards the day of defeating her family in a series of duels and taking the throne...when a simple, guileless dinner with her younger brother changed that. Though his goal was not, in fact, to sway his sister somehow he did. To this day she won't admit what it was he said that changed her mind, but for good or ill she had, prompting the much-liked current Goblin King to rise instead, practically ushering him into the throne and throwing her full support behind him (also quelling any attempts to challenge him to a duel).

Though the Goblins genuinely believe she would make a wonderful queen to the current King, she has dispelled this notion because A) the Noblers actually have an idea what incest is and how dangerous it is, and B) she's currently in a very public relationship with Phantom Conway, the only other male she truly actually admires.

Phantom Conway

Age: 23
Ht: 4'0"
Wt:113 lbs.
B/W/H: Chiseled/trim/springy
Hand: Ambidextrous, but prefers his right hand.
Eyes: Red
Skin: Green
Hair: Black mottled with red flecks that he wears into a ponytail.
Musculature: Is noted for being incredibly strong for a goblin male, but is also as flexible as the Jester, though not as agile as her. Apparently it's his freakish flexibility and high threshold of pain that allows him to survive being blown from a Cannon, not to mention the insane stunts he likes to pull for the delight of the masses and his own self.

Demeanor: Playful, humorous, and enjoys entertaining crowds as much as he does shanking targets in the shadows. Incredibly loyal to the crown, and just as loyal to his beloved. Fierce in a straight-up fight and his high agility and flexibility should never be overlooked as a mere footnote.

Description: While most goblins are stupid, some are reincarnated and begin the slow ascent to Nobler society, some Noblers slowly de-evolving with each reincarnation. Thankfully both are kept in balance (slower rate of ascension than descending), especially considering the Nobler's greater lifespans.

Though he'd never admit it himself, it's greatly believed that Phantom Conway is exactly one of these types, bound for greatness not only in the next couple of reincarnations but also able to achieve some of that greatness in this one, and indeed he has...though he'd attribute his freakish ability to survive multiple Cannonades due to a freak mutation.

Or as he puts it, "Guess the luck's just in my blood."

While he can be as dense as any gob, he does have flashes of insight and intellect that sets him apart from the rest of the populace, and by his own actions he's risen in the eyes of the court and amongst the Nobler families.

Is currently happily in a serious relationship with Blackhearted Marron, a woman whom he describes of as being "Loving, warm, and gentle."

No one believes that, but they DO believe it when he says "The taller the better, and Her Tallness is best!"

Weezra the Oracle

Age: 19
Ht: 3'3"
Wt: ??? (several attempts to answer, all erased, then simply crossed out was left behind)
B/W/H: 28/22/30
Hand: Left
Eyes: Silver
Skin: Green
Hair: Black with a noticeable (and attractive, to other gobs) green sheen to it. Usually wears it in a neat braid to the middle of her back.
Musculature: Though softened by the magical arts and her own mousey nature, she does keep to a regular regimen of physical activity in order to retain enough strength to support her magical will.

Demeanor: In battle she can be cutely fierce, especially if someone she cares about is in danger. Around those she cares about, she becomes mousey, shy, and can sometimes even come off as a bit standoffish (though obvious about it - staring at them from the corner of her eye when she thinks they're not looking). Despite her pretty gob looks, she hates it when someone calls her beautiful, wanting to be cute instead. Sometimes stutters when she loses her confidence.

All this changes, though, when it comes to the magical arts. As a Zapper and having dealt with interdimensional beings, she's more than well aware of her shortcomings and constantly pushes to improve herself, her will insanely strong during times of magical stress. Despite her (comparatively) low magical power, her iron will has cowed more than one interdimensional being and has earned her the accolades of stronger entities than can be found on this plane.

Description: Of classically goblin looks and proportions, the Oracle is amongst the candidates to become the next Queen, a position that she publicly ignores since she absolutely hates having attention like that. Her dealings with the Jester (another person who has the ability to see the future, something that shouldn't occur more than once amongst the Goblinate Forces) has only made things even more heated, having gotten into public feuds with the other woman who simply cannot help herself but to goad the Oracle into such spectacles.

What does set her apart, though, is that she is believed to be a chosen one of their goddess, who marks her favored with silver eyes. Ever since the Krieg Army arrived (an event predicted secretly by the Jester, told only to the King, but also delivered to the court by the Oracle) though, many are left wondering what it is their goddess wants them to do.

Most simply believe she gave them a worthy foe to throw themselves at, literally (the cannonade and all that) sending the Krieg to them as targets.

Has her own fanbase amongst the squabbling and stupid Gobs, though they only watch from afar because of how shy she can become around other people.

Is secretly proud of how she's taller than an average goblin female, but that pride was dashed the day she personally met Blackhearted Marron, whom she has a secret crush on (despite her equally fervent crush on the King).

Seneschal Eschra

Age: 31
An enigma amongst Goblins, Eschra is a goblin soldier who is as smart as Nobler but isn't. She swore herself to the King's service and friendship years back, and is his "blood sibling" from when they were young (they cut their hands and clasped them together). Since then she has watched his back, having saved his life countless times and yet has rarely will accept rewards or thanks. Gruff and stern to a point, she's a powerful soldier who has done more than her fair share of mucking about. Can learn weaponskills and martial arts, and is one of the few goblins who can actually wear heavy armor.

A Ripper and, because of her training and experience, is a Knight Templer.

Is secretly desperately in love with the King, but is too goddamned tsundere to admit it openly. She's one of the public favorites to become the King's bride.

Ht: 4'0"
Wt: (has expertly eviscerated the census taker)
B/W/H: 32/28/32
Hand: Right
Eyes: Silver (transplants though - her original eyes were red)
Skin: Green
Hair: Light blue streaked with silver, usually cut short but at the beginning of the game it's suggested that she's been growing it out.
Musculature: Advanced soldier's training, martial artistry, and her own personal endeavors have left her with a battle-hardened, largely-muscled body that can still come off as effeminate with the proper clothing.

Demeanor: Gruff, stern, and is normally stuck in "cranky" mode. Has the best poker face in the entire game the moment she goes soldier mode. Can soften up plenty though the moment she gets around the Goblin King outside of their official positions, and she has been noted for having a beautiful laugh.

Most of the time though, she's a deadly, effective killing machine on and off the battlefield and can snap into that mode faster simply out of reflex from time to time. As such she's a lethal survivalist with a keen eye for details, awareness of her environment, and a strange intuition that allows her mind to process information faster than she can honestly think and come to a conclusion - strangely enough, this ability to "think without thinking" has worked out for the best considering her constant bickering with Mister Harrowgrove over supplies for the Forces standing army and miners.

Description: Though she dreams of being a wife type, Eschra has become more than simply the consummate soldier but also something of an infiltration expert, doing both out of sheer loyalty and unspoken love of the Goblin King. Blood-bound siblings in their shared youth (y'know, cut their palms and shook hands, swearing to be friends forever kinda thing) and the closest to him than anyone, Eschra nevertheless finds herself the furthest from him though upon becoming King, working hard and forcing herself to become more intelligent simply to stay by his side. Unlike other goblins though, the wisdom and knowledge she gained stuck around, and she began to realize more and more of her own unbound potential.

Eventually she would earn the rank of Seneschal and gain access to Knight Templar training, increasing her effectiveness. During this time was when the King ascended and, unlike the rest of the Goblinate Forces, she's the only one who remembers his real name. It was a wonderful time for all Goblins that day...

It was also during this time that the barbaric Kriegs attacked, where the Beast himself struck down the Goblin King in the very first day of their offensive, tearing his once-silver eyes from his head.

It was also the day where Eschra saved his life, sacrificing her own eyes to her beloved friend, her red eyes turning gold and her own reforming a new pair, proof of the goddess' favor to them both.

To this day she remains a close confidante, friend, and is a public option for Queen candidacy. Though she is secretly unable to truly form the words, she really does have an unbound love and fondness of the King and only wishes to see him happy.

Even at the cost of her own life.

Individual Units - all gobs wear pretty much earth tones.

Digger - Light armors, leathers, and they carry a sword and a shovel which they can dual wield with.

Gobber - They look like Gobbers, but can be customized towards just about any jorb.

Caster - They usually wear only light robes and clothing.

Ripper - They specialize in heavier leather armors, some mail-types, and fighting with one sword, two swords, or two-handed swords. Everything about them is meant to speak of sleekness, swiftness, and an emphasis on speed and agility.

Juicer - larger than your standard gob, and usually noted for wearing torn and shredded clothing since they're too dumb to remember to take OFF said clothing before drinking the "GET BIG" potion.

Zerker - Zerker gobs can look like just about any gob, really. The only difference is that they have a red triangle that can be seen branded on their aura.

Miner - Clothing onry, and they usually only use their shovels and spades as weapons. They use hard hats with lanterns on them for helmets, and are rather muscular due to their livelihoods. Strangely enough, Miners are smarter than your average gob and usually are the ones who beget Nobler souls later on. Still dumb as shit, just a very rough kind of wisdom.

Mucker - Muckers usually wear clothes and robes, but they can also utilize other types of armors. Best known for their money-bags.

Fun story: the Big Boys get dumber as they grow larger, but there is one story that they've all come to believe (no one knows how), basically that the whole of Battleworld is actually a boil on the nose of a universe-big Big Boy, just floating in space and having a good time giggling at stars. The Big Boys honestly believe that if they grow larger they too can someday become the gigantic Big Boy, with Battleworld as the boil on their nose.

Disgusting, but proof that they at least don't lack imaginations.

Big Boys have horrible senses of direction. Getting them to aim anything or do any delicate work is a feat of heroism in and of itself, and usually the best plan with them is if you're not going to force them to carry stuff, simply let them run amok.

Sneakers - Sneakers make use of leather armor and cloth-style armors, as well as eclectic accessories such as rolls of bandaging and masks. They are known for their various methods of lethal attacks, using poisons and knives as well as slim, quick swords and flexible blades.

Sapper - Slightly degenerate looking due to their inability to utilize any kind of safety equipment during their training and use, the Sappers are noted for looking like normal gobs but with bent backs and are usually lugging around loads they're too dumb to realize are too heavy for them. Cloth only.

Zapper - Robes and staves are the hallmark of the Zapper magicker, and they can also utilize leather armors as well. Each Zapper will hoard any and all magical items they come across, and will never show them to other Zappers out of fear of losing them in a challenge or game of some sort.

Nobler - Noblers, in general, are the leaders of the Goblinate Forces, and as such they're smarter and with a higher sense of fashion. There's whole lines of clothing that only they wear (normal gobs don't know how to use that many buckles and buttons) noted for silver bells and buttons, and they tend to go outside of the usual earth tones for their wardrobe. They're also the ones who can learn how to use plate armors and heavier armors in general, and some will combine a series of differing armors in order to show off their own personal flair.

Knight Templer - At this level, Noblers (in general) begin to exclusively favor Medium and Heavy armors to anything else. There's also more silver and gold within their clothing, as tribute to the mother-goddess of their people.

Warmaster - At this level, a Nobler begins to once again show off their personalized stylings when it comes to the kinds of armor and weapons they use as their knowledge of such begins to rise to an art form. Many will start to use exclusively silver at this point, and gold is only ever used as a design point rather than actual use..

Harbinger - Harbingers are the ones who are able to best use exotic metals for their work, such as the Black Gold or magic-boosting Onyx armors. They're also the only ones able to thoroughly use Diamond Armor at its' full power without sacrificing speed (beyond the normal heavy armor issues).

Nanners - Strangely enough Nanners have access to a wide variety of armors, all the way up to heavy plate. Most Nanners will use robes and clothes though, since such fussy equipment is for "higher types."

Merker - Their backs straighten. They gain a foot in height. They put on lab coats and hugefuck steampunk goggles. They put on
rubber boots and gloves, and begin to employ proper safety procedures. Still dumb as fuck though.

Cannader - Like any normal soldier (leather armor, swords), only they gain access to heavy forms of leather armor and have a giant cannon behind them.

Nilboggers - They look like any other gob, save for the whole healing factor thing.

Once a power in and of their own, the Goblin Forces share the title of "native" with the Horde. They alone know the secret of the Horde, and Nepthis the Everdust, yet they keep quiet in order to keep that secret from the Krieg Army. They shared a passive aggression with the Kraze Armada, an almost symbiotic series of intermarital affairs and skirmishes with the Horde, and had a severe hatred of the Legion.

When the Krieg Army crash-landed in the Wasteland, the Goblin Forces did their best to at first defeat, then simply to stall them off. Alongside their strange biotechnology and apparent willingness to fling themselves headfirst into insurmountable odds, the Goblins were able to do what none other had done before: to keep the Krieg locked within the Wastelands for six months, unable to move beyond the cavern system they had come to inhabit.

Incredibly proud of their sprawling underground network, the Goblin Forces refused aid from anyone else in order to evacuate, wanting instead to merely buy the other kingdoms time to prepare.

Inevitably the Forces were defeated but their prowess had so impressed the Krieg Army that the Beast offered them a precious, rare opportunity: to join the Army, intermingle amongst their folk and gain the Rage Gene as they did so.

Though the Goblin King accepted this (and would still be considered a subservient race until they gained Rage Genes themselves, thus becoming "Kriegs"), he secretly works behind the scenes not to sabotage but rather to provide information to either the Horde or the Kraze.

Powerful in their own right despite their diminutive, yet beautiful, forms the Goblins are noted for heavy resistances, a powerful vitality and a surprising agility. A row of Goblin cannonade has been described as being the most frightening thing ever seen in Battleworld.

All goblins share certain traits: they all can mine for resources, stay underground and move faster underground as well as gaining regeneration, dark vision, they never suffer intimidation, cannot be turned or brainwashed.

On the other hand they all suffer the same issues that the Horde do when it comes to suffering penalties while being in sunlight and, for the most part, are generally idiots outside of the nobility.

Characters

The Goblin King

Age: ???/33
The Goblin King is an incredible force of power that has historically kept the Legion, the Armada and the Horde at bay through a mixture of martial prowess, fierce marshaling capabilities (especially considering what he has to work with), and a surprising amount of charisma.

Of course these came to naught before the insanely, brutally power of the Krieg Army. Still he has done what he can to ensure the survival of his people before an unstoppable power and seems to being doing well beside it. At least until the Krieg showed up, but honestly none of the kingdoms of Battleworld were truly prepared for such an onslaught.

Unlike other regime changes (usually the children will duel each other, then the remaining king or queen in order to unseat them) he ascended the throne through a rare mixture of charismatic speeches and social programs, making life easier for the common Goblin while strengthening trade routes and their own borders. To that end, his mother offered him the crown and stepped down, knowing that he would be a strong and caring monarch.

A harbinger of known fighting prowess, he's also a hardcore mystery to the other gobs: he can Zerk without losing his mind, entering into a battle frenzy that astonishes even the most bitter, hard-edged Juicer and Zerker alike.

Supposedly this was an ability learned around the same time that King Aliester Bertrand of the Horde learned how to create the Necromorph ability, which may explain why both share so many similarities in their strange ability to utilize their given trait in such unique ways.

Queen Alvierra

Age: ???
Friend to The Beauty (supposedly schoolmates as well), she helped the Horde defeat the Incubi race that once ruled virtually unopposed on Battleworld. Since then she has done much to ensure the safety and livelihood of her people, eventually defeating her father before her in a duel and ascending to the throne as Queen during the era where the Legion sought to brainwash everyone and everything and appeared unstoppable in obtaining that goal.

She was well-known for keeping the underground caverns safe through daily patrols and upkeep, and pushed for education for all (no matter how stupid they were, they were given a chance to "relearn" things from their previous life). Despite that, she saw with favor the various projects her son undertook and succeeded at and, impressed with his deeds and passion, decided against forcing him into a duel and simply stepped down, naming her eldest son the new successor to the crown.

Though it had appeared she was going to disappear again from the global political scene, she resurfaced, quieter than before, after the hostile takeover by the Kriegers. Currently neither The Beast nor any members of The Gang seem to care that she's back, despite her historical pattern of aiding and strengthening the Goblinate Forces in times of need.

The Jester

Age: ???
Like the rest of the Goblin court, the Jester is a Nobler with unknown, untapped strength and might. Many have claimed that the Jester has been around for as long as Queen Alvierra has, and still many others say she's older than that. What IS certain is that the Jester is fiercely loyal to the Goblin Noblers and, perhaps, a bit too much to the current king.

A spy, saboteur, Jester (obviously) and something of a Harbinger herself. It's revealed later on that she's a Nilbogger as well, and quite possibly is the same goddess that begat their underground race.

Public opinions are that she could be a good bride for the King, but apparently EVERY generation believes that since she's the most well-recognized figure amongst the court.

Mister Harrowgrove

Age: 13
At an age where most gobs are thinking about "retiring" (i.e. - dying in a cannon) or changing careers, Mister Harrowgrove took on the heady task of becoming a Mucker instead. A mere ten years later and Mister Harrowgrove found himself not only the leader of the Nomadic Guild but also one of the best merchant-Muckers to be found in the history of the Goblin Forces.

While he's incredibly loyal to the court and influential to a T, he also keeps a steadily neutral stance in the whole affairs of the kingdoms. Still he has an eye for prices, and can drain a town dry of resources and goods if he doesn't keep careful.

Is known for wearing incredibly sharp business suits, a monocle and a cane. Despite his mucker background he's had some training as a traveling merchant as well, able to wield a few small spells but finds himself taking to weaponskills and martial arts with deadly ease.

Blackhearted Marron

Age: 113
A tall Nobler with a penchant for mining, Blackhearted Marron is the Goblin King's younger sister and the one whom the Noblers thought would be heiress to the throne. Indeed, Marron was quite set to become the next queen (including preparing herself for dueling her siblings and her mother) when a dinner's conversation with her older brother changed her mind. To this day she won't divulge what it was that he said that changed her mind, but she has since thrown her entire support behind her older brother.

It has been suggested that he didn't even talk about the possibility of dueling her or taking the crown, merely his passion for their people and the programs he was carrying forth.

A Warmaster, Zapper, and Miner of some renown. She REALLY likes mining.

Gained her nickname by her quick, decisive slaughter of anyone standing in her way, she can become predatory-eyed before giving in to her bloodlust, which she does somewhat easily. Whatever it was that the Goblin King told her back then must've been REALLY good, to be honest, since she was known for having a will that could cow even other Noblers.

Is in a relationship with Phantom Conway.

Phantom Conway

Age: 23
A Sneaker known for his amazing assassinations and death-defying stunts. One of the few people who can withstand being ammo for the Cannonade multiple times without dying, a feat that is considerably strange since he's not a juicer or a Big Boy. Like the rest of the Goblin Forces, he is fiercely loyal to the court and has even nearly lost his life attempting to safeguard the king from a particularly botched mission against the Krieg Army. Because of his service he has been elevated to the lofty title of being the King's exclusive Sneaker.

Weezra the Oracle

Age: 19
A Zapper with the strange power of fortunetelling, she can see the future in many different ways: in tea leaves, palms, reading intestines, seeing the stars, in multiple reflections of varying lengths of mirrors, and other weird, seemingly inconsequential ways. She communes with other beings in other dimensions and, because of her travels, never suffers from interdimensional sickness. Despite all this she's as stupid as any other gob, only she's actually aware of it.

Battle-wise she's a great Zapper, able to slap Orbs around as well as conjure up outer-dimensional help and buffs. Though her hp pool sucks, her ep pool is incredible.

Even more so than any other gob she's as beautiful as she is stupid, and it's public thought (whenever they actually get together and think) that she's one of the candidates to be the King's bride. She herself doesn't think she's that beautiful, wanting to instead be simply cute.

She cooks better than any other Mucker, but hates most SCIENCE! and constructs.

Senschal Eschra

Age: 31
An enigma amongst Goblins, Eschra is a goblin soldier who is as smart as Nobler but isn't. She swore herself to the King's service and friendship years back, and is his "blood sibling" from when they were young (they cut their hands and clasped them together). Since then she has watched his back, having saved his life countless times and yet has rarely will accept rewards or thanks. Gruff and stern to a point, she's a powerful soldier who has done more than her fair share of mucking about. Can learn weaponskills and martial arts, and is one of the few goblins who can actually wear heavy armor.

A Ripper and, because of her training and experience, is a Knight Templer.

Is secretly desperately in love with the King, but is too goddamned tsundere to admit it openly. She's one of the public favorites to become the King's bride.

Individual Units

Digger - standard soldier unit. Average offense and defense, and can wield bows and arrows to gain anti-air.
Adv -> Ripper, Zerker, Mucker, Juicer, Nanners (the excuse being that "childbirth and mining are like the same thing, ain't it?")

Gobber - Gobbers are the standard unit that can do a little bit of everything. They can ultimately advance into ANY jorb they eventually meet the requirements for, but are extremely weak early game. They cannot turn into certain jobs that require you starting as them (like Noblers).
Adv -> Anything they meet the requirements for

Caster - Casters are very generalized for magickers, and they lack the punch that certain specialists may gain later on.
Adv -> Zappers

Ripper - A specialized soldier that has chosen the path of the sword. Swift, agile and very straightforward these little bastards can make quick work of even the hardiest of defenders. Able to cripple or even ignore armored defenses.
Adv -> Juicers

Juicer - a controlled version of the Zerker, Juicers basically imbibe a special potion made only by the Goblins and become far more empowered, able to withstand damage that would normally fell even a Nobler. Because of this they are the perfect fodder for the Cannonade, able to not only go through the pain of being shot out of said cannon and exploding upon impact, but also able to keep going afterwards for a little bit of time.
Adv -> Big Boy

Zerker - Sometimes in the middle of battle a Gob can unlock their hidden power of becoming Berzerk. Any and all gobs can gain access to this power randomly, and only after suffering from it can this job be unlocked. As a Zerker you lose control of the unit, but they gain access to regeneration, ignoring penalties for being out of darkness, can move as fast on the surface as they do underground, can mine twice as efficiently, and can take one extra action per round. What makes them the most dangerous though is that their offensive and defensive capabilities grow the closer to 0 hp they get.

Miner - The fastest movers underground, the ability to mine twice as many resources as any unit in the game and while they suffer from a weak offense they have a respectable defense. With the ability to set traps as well as handle explosives, Miners can be a dangerous force for the Goblins so long as they remember where they put the trap and to actually, y'know, get away from the explosives after setting them. Can transport other units, but only underground.

Mucker - Muckers are able to take any kind of material, dirt, garbage, you name it and they can turn it into potions, food, gear, traps, and explosives. They're also the merchant class of the Goblin Forces, able to go into unowned towns and deal fairly with them in exchange for goods and services. Before the Krieg Army they dealt mainly with the Nomad Guild and would even trade within the other kingdoms in a yearly pilgrimage of trade.

Big Boy - if a Juicer can actually survive, then they begin to grow in size and strength, able to "Juice Up" without actually needing chemicals since their brains can now produce it on their own. A Big Boy is one massive Goblin of epic proportions, their normal attacks becoming AoE and gaining new attacks. They're still dumb as fuck, just not mindless anymore. Most Big Boys die simply becoming so big that they explode on their own (like a delayed reaction from back when they were simply Juicers), but some do survive and just grow bigger and bigger. Eventually they are able to simply step over The Spine and disappear into the lands beyond the eastern ocean.

There is a legend that when things are at their bleakest, when the world stands on the edge of destruction and the Forces actually remember to look up and howl in despair, then and only then will the Big Boys who have left in the past return to save the day.

Of course Goblins in and of themselves don't remember this, and the Big Boys would be too stupid to know where to go anyway.

Sneakers - As their name implies, they are Gobs who have learned how to sneak, stealth and assassinate. Smarter than normal gobs (but not as smart as Noblers), they are able to wield traps and explosives and have access to specialized tools and weaponry.

Sapper - They hates constructs, they hates SCIENCE! and are a mad bundle of resistances to magic and melee attacks. Despite that they can fortify and are one of the few normal gobs who can analyze SCIENCE! and fortifications for new recipes.
Adv -> Merker

Zapper - Wielding far greater magical energies than a mere Caster, Zappers are still just as bone-headed only they actually are self-aware that they're stupid. Able to conjure and can specialize in geomancy as well, something that is normally not found outside of the Kraze Armada. Zappers are best with evocation though, able to simply "Zap" targets with a series of Orb spells that they found in a guidebook somewhere.

Nobler - an incredibly rare Gob that is born out of the morass of the common stock. Every now and then, a Goblin is born with genes that sets them apart from their more idiotic kin. These destined ones are treated fairly, learn from their common-bred families and are usually sent immediately to live amongst the Nobles. Stronger, faster, taller and, above all, smarter than normal Gobs a Nobler can become a powerful force with enough training and experience. Able to understand their less intelligent kin, Noblers take it upon themselves both the duty and the responsibility of caring for their lesser born ilk, ever the reminder that they too were born from that stock. (Instead of spawning a gob that you wanted, there's always the chance that you'll instead spawn a Nobler) Respectable in all stats, attack and defense, resistances, and able to wield a select pool of starting magic.
Adv -> Knight Templer

Knight Templer - with training a Nobler can gain access to a wider variety of weaponskills and martial arts. Alongside this is the ability to utilize better armor than the normal Gob could ever figure out.
Adv -> Warmaster

Warmaster - with further training and experience, a Nobler can eventually begin to learn how to further sharpen their weaponmastery and magical skills. They also gain the ability to analyze during combat and can augment the training of other units.
Adv -> Harbinger

Harbinger - Finally, a Nobler gains the ability to cast far more advanced magics then ever before, as well as greater weaponskills and martial arts. Their ability to analyze and learn new recipes, skills and attacks are greater than before and they're a walking augment machine.

Nanners - Midwives and medical specialists with access to healing spells and white magic defensive spells. Despite their stupidity (they can sometimes buff the enemy, and they hate seeing ANYONE in pain so they sometimes heal the enemy as well) they still make excellent midwives, at least THAT part they're able to fulfill without fucking up.

Merker - specialist engineers who learn to stop hatin' and just love the bomb. Seriously, their knowledge of explosives and SCIENCE! can grow beyond normal averages due to their curiosity about everything, their high resistance to damage and pain as well as the ability to hamper and harass targets with varying crippling afflictions. Can reverse-engineer any construct to learn new recipes.
Adv -> Cannader

Cannader - the highest ranking and elite of gob soldiery. Cannaders are the ones who create, maneuver, aim and arm the Goblin Cannons and though their mobility sucks, their offensive and defensive capabilities are excellent. They cannot move underground, over water and they cannot cross mountains but they CAN be transported by a Big Boy, and they themselves have anti-air capabilities. Though their preferred ammunition are Juicers, they can load any other Gob into a Cannon and fire them across a map. Most gobs die upon impact though, please keep that in mind.

Nilboggers - Pretty frickin' obvious, but I'll spell it out for ya's anyway. Nilboggers are dimensionally fucked up types of gobs who gain hp from taking damage but lose hp from curative and healing spells. Even Medical can kill these guys. Much like Noblers only even more rare, and still stupid like any other Gob. Hell, most Nilboggers usually die at birth simply because the Nanners'll kill them, literally, with kindness on accident. Only three Nilboggers are known to exist today, though it's being kept a secret even by the Goblins themselves (the first smart thing they've done as a people).

Sunday, February 26, 2012

SO. Sososo, some of you know already of our 1200 lbs. of Penis song. What, you don't? Then go back and check it out, you'll have a good time.

With that stated, we were told by certain business suited types that it wasn't a song they could really market, one that they couldn't really stand behind, y'know?

So. Here's our answer.

I don't believe in censorship, and if they had flat-out told us to drop it, I would've wiped my ass with their business card and thrown it back in their face. On the other hand, they didn't...all they did say was that it wasn't a song they could stand behind.

Strangely enough, my band responded by coming together and creating this and a music video idea of a giant robot fighting a seven-headed land-kraken. Literally of one of the band members walking around town, finding a "thread" coming out of their arm which unravels, which leads them to tearing their flesh off to reveal the METAL MONSTER underneath, then growing humongous, going on a rampage, then fighting that seven-headed land-kraken.

Then they call the OTHER THREE giant robots, and all four proceed to whup ass.

This is not censorship, nor is it selling out - we've done this on our own accord, and will support both songs.

Why am I explaining all this? Because, honestly I'd like to think I"m the kinda guy who learns from other people's mistakes, and I remember the whole fiasco with the Black Eyed Peas and the whole "Let's Get It Started/Retarded" bullshit.

Reckon I'll leave it up to the fans, ultimately, to take it as they will. But Anubis Unit stands behind every move we make, unless we find a new one that suits our needs better. To me, that is the meaning of musical freedom...reckon the whole band stands behind it as well.

1200 lbs. of Metal

(TWELVE HUNDRED POUNDS
OF
METAL) x2

Every night I go out to
satisfy my lust
the people all love me
they surround me with their trust

Whipping and slapping
every upturned ass I see
give them a pearl necklace
it means nothing to me

I don't really trip,
I never get mental
They come to expect it
now I'm 1200 lbs. of Metal!

The power's coursin' through me
From now until eternity
It feels so right but it looks so wrong
I don't care I just wanna get it on

(chorus)

(TWELVE HUNDRED POUNDS
OF
METAL)x3

Bridge
(During bridge, this is spoken by J:

Y'KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW, you shouldn't look at me that way, you'd do the same thing if YOU turned into a giant robot! DESTRUCTION! Just go on a freakin' rampage and smash all over this city YEAH!

Well..except for the docks, I like how pretty those boats look on the ocean.

Wait, you want me to do WHAT to your houseboat? Didn't you pay your insurance premiums?

Awww, I couldn't do something like that....

Okay, just this once~!

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

(break back into verse)

Put a strip miner on Oprah
and you'd look just like me
Y'know I got this Plasma Cannon
Down in my pants

I work so hard to
fit in with society
only to discover
the truth will set you free

From the poor to the rich
Hear them all scream and yell!
They've come to expect how
WE'RE ALL 1200 LBS. OF METAL!

The power's coursin' through me
From now until eternity
It feels so right but it looks so wrong
I don't care I just wanna get it on

This one's actually something of a bone of contention. It's hard to actually describe and my singing style may not be suited to it, but I happen to really like this song personally. The riffs are very Ramones and it tells a story, y'know?

Anyway expect me to actually post more Anubis Unit stuff here, if for no other reason than it gives me impetus to do the a capellas and post 'em up as well.

Expect new material comin' out this Sunday, so long as none of us are sick off our asses. :/

Sharpshooter

(Intro)

Oh well a-bo-out nine to five
I didn't know if she was dead or alive
"Hey baby, let's go out and dance
Hey babe, he got you in a trance!"

Oh well I'm 'bo-out to shoot the moon
Didn't care if she was (al)ready alone
"Hey baby, it's 'bout time to dance
But beware, sharpshooter, will shoot you again!"

(transition riff)

We're goin' 'bo-out ninety-five
I couldn't tell if she was ready alive
"Hey baby, well don't you know?
Hey babe, we're in a horrorshow..."

We're both a-goin' straight off the top
Off the road and now we're startin' to drop
"Hey baby, let's do it again
But beware, sharpshooter, gets you in the end."

(transition riff)

(chorus)
Oh well I can't help ya
You'll try it again
But beware
Sharpshooter
Will shoot ya again

You can try to fake it
And I understand
But beware
Sharpshooter
Will shoot ya again

(bridge)

(transition riff)

Goin' 'ro-ound that nine to five
Well, I forgot if she was dead or alive
"Hey baby, I'm sorry to say
Hey babe, I got you all the way."

And now I'm 'bo-out to shoot that loon
Even though it's walkin' to my doom
"Hey baby, it's 'bout time to dance
But beware, sharpshooter, will get ya again"

(transition riff)

Well I can't take it
I just can't dance
But beware
Sharpshooter
Will get you again

Well you can't fake it
You don't understand
But beware
Sharpshooter
Will shoot ya again

Well I can't help it
It's in my glands
But beware
Sharpshooter
Will get you in the end

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Welcome to The Pen Is My Sword, my literary blog and the best way to keep up with ALL EIGHT FUCKING BLOGS I WRITE FOR.

Who runs this shit?

I RUN THIS SHIT, DAWG!!! I DO!!!!!!

So, you'll notice the slick, sleek interface with the chunky edits and writing, yah? Well here's a quick walkthrough over the new interface:

>DIDJA NOTICE THE BIG BAR OVER THE MAIN PART OF THE BLOG? FROM THERE YOU CAN CHECK OUT ALL THE ABSOLUTE MOST PERTINENT STUFF I'VE GOT GOIN'! ALL EIGHT BLOGS. EXTREME EXISTENCE: BATTLEWORLD. MY SOUND BYTES AND SUCH.

>At the extreme right and at the top of the screen, you'll notice two things you fuck around with to customize the font size of the blog as well as operate the sliding sidebar.

YEAH NIGGA. SLIDING SIDEBAR. SWAG.

>What is ON that sidebar? A general write-up, my chatongo thing (LEAVE A MESSAGE, SHOW YA LOVE), advertisements, pertinent information and links and such. But the big feature I wanna point out to ya is the next point...

>An update feature. Yes. THIS, www.thepenismysword.com, IS my overblog as well as litblog. What I'd like to see is that THIS be made the one that you mainly bookmark and fave, then from here you can go to any of my other blogs, projects, or whatever have you. SO, in order to help facilitate that you can easily glance over there and see what's currently updated (complete with date and such). That way you won't have to spend time going to each and every blog and look around - now you can just glance at that block and BOOM, know exactly where yer goin'!

I sincerely hope I can continue to improve and tweak all my blogs and, ultimately, continue to entertain all y'all. Things are going to be very, VERY busy and I genuinely hope that you, my omnipresent audience, will continue to find me worth of your time, attention, and perhaps affections.

SO. The Pen Is My Sword is now opened for bidness. All my chats are pretty much up and running.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Demons and ghouls, decadent darkness and seductive shadows. The civilized monsters of the Horde have existed on Battleworld longer than any other faction.

The dark denizens of the Horde have cultivated a new kind of undead genetic technology known as Necromorph, utilizing necromantic energies in a way that has never been seen before in order to create a superior form of the undead. Those who fail the process still become superior forms of zombie simply due to the process. Necromorph transmogrification occurs upon death.

The leaders of the Horde have always been of succubi blood, and the current "King of Darkness" is no exception, considered a genius since he can access his Necromorph powers without having to die first.

Low mobility and defenses (generally speaking), but able to grow stronger as their enemies die the Horde is a literal force of spiritual and necromantic destruction!

Characters

King Aliester Bertrand

Age 45
A powerful necromorph, necromancer, scientist and swordsman. A genius whose intelligence is shadowed only by his playboy lifestyle, he's a salaciously perverted hedonist who likes a party as much as he likes a good battle. Not one to shirk his duties, he has done more for necromantic sciences than any other previous ruler, which helps his people forgive his infatuation with Makiko Kraze, a scandal that has very nearly unseated his ass before.

King Al has greater mobility than any other Horde unit (except Corpse Courier), but shares their low defense.

It was King Al who discovered the Necromorph ability, and it was under the advice of his aunt (The Beauty) that he provided the option nearly free of charge to his peoples. Not everyone can afford the procedure, but there are many ways to earn the money through public options and jobs, and according to the last census around 60% of the people of the Horde has become Necromorphs.

Having proven himself to the people and his incredibly influential aunt, many misconstrue his freewheeling, partying flippancy as political savvy and a deceptive streak a mile wide. What they don't know can't hurt 'em...

Al lives by a code that may seem apparent at first, but his philosophy about life and death are worlds deep. He wears his honor on his sleeve, and can be fiercely loyal even towards enemies who have earned his trust. It is said that his well-sculpted lips have silenced and held more secrets than any one person in Battleworld.

For what it's worth, those lips are better at other things than spilling secrets anyway...

Dog Breath

Age 2/14
Created by Death Valley's latest necromantic sciences, Dog Breath is a necromorph zombie werewolf martial artist. Cat Butt's twin brother. Created by King Al himself, and one of his closest bodyguards.

A male model who specializes in standing still for hours on end, he's one of The Beauty's favorite subjects for painting and sculpting, and many others have taken to recreating his form as well.

Cat Butt

Age 2/14
Similar to Dog Breath, only a necromorph zombie catgirl succubus.

Flexible and lives for acrobatics, Cat Butt hates to be in any one place for more than a few moments and is one of King Al's favorite lovers...er, subjects.

The Beauty

Age ???
King Al's "aunt" and the most powerful known succubus, she also has the traits of a necromancer, necromorph, and a witch. She's also one of the oldest known creatures on the face of the planet, with power and influence greater than even King Al himself. She led the charge against the original Incubi who ruled the planet (alongside Al's ancestor) and has since then skillfully maneuvered herself and the Bertrand lineage into greatness.

It wasn't until Al that she felt any true connection to them though, playing politics and people as if it were a game, every now and then enjoying the cat and mouse whenever a new challenger would show up. It was Al, though, who physically reminded her of her own lover centuries ago (the first King of the Bertrand line), sharing in his love of jokes and hedonistic pastimes.

It was because of Al's genius, though, and his drive to once again bring peace to the land that caused her to swear herself to him...

Ultimately though, the fate of Battleworld may yet lay once again upon the whims of her heart...a whim that may or may not be more solid and stable than any love she has ever known.

It's rumored that she personally saw to King Al's sexual and sensual training, and is one of the three people (alongside King Al and the Goblin King) who founded the necromorph technology.

Corpse Courier

Age 20
King Al's personal ride, Corpse Courier is a sentient vehicle composed of corpse parts. Highly customizable and counts as a necromorph and a soldier unit. Single highest range of mobility amongst the Horde, he can be mounted by King Al to increase his effective range. She can also dual attack with Al as well as The Beauty.

No one knows her relationship with King Al, a story that actually might simpler than it seems.

Handjob

Age 1
A necromorph, mutant, alien zombie who counts as a construct (golem) with a capacity for martial arts. Handjob has the most attacks in a single round, can wield more weapons than anyone due to having 10 arms and hands replacing her normal limbs (that includes two extra long arms out of her back, giving her the ability to attack creatures in the air), and can move as if flying. Handjob is the result of Al's experiments with alien DNA and necromorphic science. As such, Handjob has no faculty for speech but is otherwise a lovely young human (zombie) woman.

Al created her because he wanted to experience the perfect handjob. She took it upon herself to become a weapon of war.

Even though she cannot speak, she can still hum and can even croon, and does so many a night to the delight of stray denizens. She's also a virtuoso on any stringed instrument, and is often called upon to play for the court's entertainment.

"Mama Loa"

Age 25
Al's main squeeze and the daughter of King Angrem Grim. A necromancer witch who has unparalleled zombification ability. Beautiful, powerful and slightly possessive yet nevertheless is a Horde woman, believing staunchly in polygamy. As such she leads The Harem, the elite bodyguard unit that both safeguards and satisfies the King of Darkness.

Took up the title of Queen (Mama Loa) and forsook her own name in order to prove her loyalty to King Al alone, she's a fiery Grim woman with the same passion to bring peace to the land and to keep the Incubi from ever recovering. Currently a human being still, she throws herself into battle with wild abandon, hoping to one day achieve the same kind of exalted dead status that her family is known for and to make her father and herself proud.

King Al loves her as much as he loves anyone, but it's been noted before that his heart-of-hearts lays elsewhere. Being trained as a concubine, Loa shares the Horde mentality of sexual freedoms and excessive hedonism. It's also helped in her role as an ambassador, maintaining close ties with the other kingdoms (except for the Krieg, naturally, but still staying close to the Nomads, Mercenaries, and Goblinate Forces whenever they're allowed to communicate with the outside world).

The Harem

Age Varies
Only the most beautiful zombies, necromancer humans, and succubi can join King Al's most elite battle unit. Mama Loa leads this group and chooses who can get in.

As a battle unit, this unit is able to incorporate other units into itself, giving it an innate bonus up to a certain amount.

The Harem has, as of late, been called less and less to Al's bedroom, and grumblings of a surprise rape party have begun.

Mother and Unborns

Age ???
A female exalted zombie necromorph who can take captured units and resources and continuously spawn infantry and baby bombers. No mobility whatsoever, but high as hell offense and defense upon deployment.

Her relationship to Al is unknown outside of her status as a volunteer to the Necromorph program, but it's been rumored that she has close ties to the royal Bertrand bloodline and may even be related to the Beauty herself.

Though she lacks the ability to actively communicate, certain psionic experts have suggested that she is very aware of her surroundings and despite outward appearances is very sentient, prescient, and has apparently taken on the self-image of being an aggressive guardian of the Horde people and the Bertrand royalty.

Is considered a celebrity amongst the Horde people, and many will stop by and aid in her daily administrations, ensuring that the Mother is kept as comfortable and happy as she could be given her situation.

Necromorph - incredibly strong unit: upon hitting 0 hp, the unit's hp and ep are refilled to new totals, have access to new skills/abilities/stats, and usually recieve upgrades to all stats. Lasts until end of map, resets in next map (note: King Al can access this form without having to die, but loses the "Rezz" ability).

Monday, February 13, 2012

HEY, do youuuuuu like punk vocals with metal sensibilities? Well, my voice sucks balls on this copy (I sound waaaaay cooler over an amp), but hey - this at least gets across the songs that are in my head when I'm writing lyrics.

That's The Sound My Balls Make

1200 Lbs of Penis (WARNING, we ain't quite done with this one yet - you'll see next sunday)

Avocado

Steak and Eggs (The Warmup Song)

If you've already seen this at one of my other blogs, then by all means go ahead, give it another listen to, and spread it around to your own blogs, friends, lovers, loved ones, friends and family who ARE lovers and loved ones, and loved ones who are friendly family.

Next Sunday we'll begin recording (with a camera) our practice sessions, give you inside glimpses into our creative process (including drama, catfights, and me flailing my arms like an idiot in order to translate the sounds in my head into their instruments) as well as to let y'all be amongst the first people to hear certain songs of ours before we ever get them professionally done.

For what it's worth, they actually sound, y'know, GOOD outside of the lyrics. Gotta prove ourselves in this bidness, right?

Friday, February 10, 2012

Believe it or not, this is the second time today I've had to rewrite this post. The electricity in my cabin has gone down three times, and I've re-watched/listened to Balls of Fury three times now. Still haven't gotten past the part where Freddy Fingers dies.

So, forgive me if THIS post isn't anywhere near as awesome as the other two attempts. You'll just hafta take my word for it, y'know?

Anyway, I know usually my posts have some of my work in it, but this is the first time since starting Penis Joke...I mean, The Pen Is My Sword, where I felt like I needed to make a real update and discussion post. I know I normally ask you guys to comment on whatever ya want, but for once I actually have a few questions to hit you guys up. By all means, answer me back here, in a personal message, or over at Shittychat where I sometimes play music and/or cyber and/or type in all caps and tell bad jokes.

I need to warn you though, it's a pretty tight-knit community of jerks from all across the Internuggets, of all races, colors, creeds (except Muslims), locations, and genders.

We especially like genders in there.

...what was I sayin'? Oh yeah, the questions~!

-Is it a bad thing that I'm trying to expand my audience or not? I also had a Call of Booty: Black Cocks joke (y'know, "we're trying to capture the CoD crowd" and general hatred of that phrase) and multiple cracks at my inner attention whore, but you get the idea. It boils it down to: I feel like I need to expand my readership, especially here at The Pen Is My Sword, and I can't qutie tell if if's truly my ideal or if it's just a weird empathy thing from Blogspot itself. I didn't feel this way over at Deviantart, and neither DA nor Tumblr makes me feel welcome as a writer (unlike here at Blogspot).

-I've got a new kind of advertising goin' down on my blogs, is it screwing things up for you? Making the blogs run slower or make them feel bogged down? Make ya feel like I sold out? All part of the same question.

-Is there anything you can suggest, design-wise, that you feel would improve my blogs? I know I need to learn how to, y'know, post pictures up here on my blogs (anyone wanna teach me? I have some weird block learning on my own). It doesn't help that I have a HUMONGOUS WAREHOUSE OF IMAGES straight jacked from the Internuggets. I mean, can I do that? Anyway, lemme know what ya think.

-Are my blog running good for you guys? I have to admit that I'm using a computer that's around 8 or 10 years old, I mean I BOUGHT the poor lil' thing nigh on six years ago and it was already used then. Now she's done VERY well by me though, despite missing a dedicated audio/visual card (apparently), but sometimes she bogs down something fierce. Doesn't help that I get my internuggets through Comcast WHO HAS A FREAKING MONOPOLY ON ALL OF LYNDEN. So yeah, no other option. But because of that, for some reason, Man-Flavored Milk will completely lock up on me and I have to down Firefox and restart the thing. I'm actually considering switching to Chrome simply because it seems to be more intuitive with googles-based products like Blogspot, Youtubes, Gmail and all that good stuff. I dunno, maybe it's me? Every time I hang out in a tech-based forum or imageboard, I always end up leaving disgruntled 'cuz I don't have the money for such stuff.

I dunno, bweh. Just...are the blogs even workin' for you guys? Or am I the only one gettin' frozen up and stuff? Like the moment any post with more than two youtube embeds screw me out. Hell, it's not fair if it IS just me 'cuz I'm the motherfucker who wrote 'em! Everyone havin' fun 'cept for me...

SHEEEEIT, anyway, hit me up sometime here or at Shittychat, where I've basically taken up as my new home on the Internuggets. It's a good place full of good feelings and naw we're a bunch of trolls who hate on everything. It's greeeeeat!

Project Updates

Extreme Existence: Battleworld

Well, I've gotten two kingdoms completely written out as far as design notes, what they look like, what they do, starting values. Still screwin' around with stuff, and I'm still goin' strong but the past two days I haven't done squat. Euch. The closer we get to Saturday the more I can only focus on that. If anything, gimme until Sunday and I'll begin to type up stuff like crazy again.

KAOS: Chaos Party Radio

So it looks like one way or another KAOS is gonna be goin' up. I've still gotta work on the blog for it, but that's only because we're kinda missing a microphone now. Here's the suggested groups, all starring yours truly -

Da Boys - That Bastard, his drummer and a good mutual friend. Currently on hiatus until we decide on what the fuck we can use for a microphone.

DJ That Bastard - Catch me on Shittychat playin' a delicious selection of musics in the chat room with my swagged out cam avatar and my godly green screenname. YOUUUUU! SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET IN THE SOOOUP!

Jogpod - I'm actually going to be creating podcasts designed specifically for joggin' and such. Get yer blood up, get yer cardio on. GET MOVIN' YOU FUCK!

EVEN MORE BLOGS LOL

I haven't even begun on any of them, but there's a couple more blogs I gotta get workin' on soon. Three, technically. One for KAOS: Chaos Party Radio, another for my main band, and another for No Rhymes.

...at some point in time all this hard work is going to pay off, yes?

Just thought I'd let you guys know 'bout it. Man, though, I'd feel better about doin' all this good shit if I had more people on my followlist. Just sayin'.

Scream/Dreams

So here's what I'm thinkin'. I've got at least one short story, a whole bunch of lyrics, and a bunch of poetry in a file folder called Screams. Dreams, though, is going to be the second half of the book which'll have nothing but overviews, story overviews, character designs and other nonsuch concerning my other material. Now, here's the thing: when I write a concept, it has both character designs, episodic/completely story review, backstory and history of the world, everything, y'know? But it also reveals important plot twists, character development and the story from beginning to end as well.

Would that kind of thing ruin it for me and you, the readers, if I were to release them in such a tome? Keep in mind this is also concerning my script ideas and comic book overviews and such.

Shit, we'll see. Lemme know what y'all think, eh?

If anything, I'll be posting some of those very story overviews and concepts here at The Pen Is My Sword, of these titles to expect:

-Bad Dog (a three-episode short serial followin' a legalized criminal consultant company co-owned by the Yakuza, set in my "Neo Tokyo" gameplay that has only been recently slapped into the Extreme Existence label)

-Dangerous Mismanagement 1, 2, 3, and 3.5 (Heavy Metal Dark Fantasy inspired by an old D&D group I ran with. Ninja female drow with more manias then sense and talks like Shampoo from Ranma 1/2, a group of rogues with no sense of dignity and an overarching storyline that has nothing to do with my Extreme Existence stuff. The sequel series, 2, is based around a particular "Royal Pirates" group, the third and three-point-five revolves around a futuristic version of the 1st series, "The Bloodhounds of Avantia" and caps off certain unanswered questions around all three previous series.)

-Hunting Grounds (my movie script idea alongside an old co-worker friend of mine. Someday I'll get to actually writing the script, I just never seem to be able to focus on it beyond what I've already written.)

-A Wizard Did It (a series of short stories centered in the modern day era where something unexplainable happens, resulting in the deaths of thousands or more. Mostly centered around the responses towards those unexplainable occurrences)

-Death Island (reality show/t.v. series that may or may not have people killing each other for real. Think Battle Royale.)

-Dirty Space (sexy sci-fi setting, think pornographic Star Trek)

-Kane and Kincaid (oooohh god, uber violent, maniacs and insane killers, and a supernatural organization that may or may not have God as their number one client, an old favorite)

Suffice it to say, I have TOOONS of stuff. Just haven't really ever posted yet, and I always seem to be too stressed to actually focus and write 'em...but stressed just enough to be able to write out the overviews and such. Hell, you guys have seen my style thus far - I have yet to really finish a project, and I number that amongst my greatest failings.

That also doesn't number my OTHER material, my Extreme Existence-oriented material, the Trinity High comic book overviews (collaboration with my homeboy Ace), my video-game based stuff, my pen and paper roleplayin' stuff, and...well, you get the point.

Yeah, we'll see. In the meantime, I'll post that stuff up here eventually, alongside my lyrics and poems and what short stories I feel willing to share with y'all. But the question is, how can I share these titles without giving away too much about the endings and stuff...or should I not worry about that and put them itno the Dreams book after all?

Last note: Scream will feature a mainly black background and sharply red-lined abstract art look on the cover, then you flip it over and it'll be a deep, verdant, forest green with a softer abstract look. I dunno, it's an idea. That and I was thinking of doing the table of contents so it looked like a corkboard and the actual titles and page numbers to look like sticky notes or just notes nailed in or somethin'.

What do you guys think?

My Main Band
Tomorrow we record and I'll live up to my word and reveal who I am. It's not like it's some major thing, but I DID say I'd give you guys the chance to peek under my "anonymous" e-persona and see what my real e-persona is.

Once again, I ain't anyone important. But I've actually grown to like being That Bastard, it's pretty much the same as my previous e-persona (who is pretty much me on the Internuggets, I don't hide behind masks and I don't do anything but face it straight-up and head-on), so I'll leave it up to you guys.

In the very least, I'll reveal the name of my main band finally and help you guys narrow down who I am. LOL, so exciting.

No, but I AM worried about tomorrow. I have yet to finalize how much it's gonna cost per hour with the dude (hopefully the surgery yesterday went down proper) and if not maybe the co-owner can negotiate with us instead. I dunno. I also haven't heard back from my bassist yet, my drummer keeps talking about how we should jam SUNDAY but hasn't said anything about tomorrow...unless I'm overthinking things and this is just how he deals with the butterflies, by not talking about it at all.

It'll be as raw a cut as it gets, but that's all we need right now. Afterwards it goes up on Youtube, and I start whoring THAT out to everyone and their grandma, but especially a particular record company who is willing to listen to it. They haven't promised anything beyond that but at this stage of the game, that's all I expect.

I'm also going to probably sing a bit more, record 'em for posterity, and upload 'em tomorrow and play 'em in Shittychat. C'mon down and listen if you want, it'll be a capella with me making noises with my mouth, which is pretty much how we plan out the songs in the band anyway. Except for That's The Sound My Balls Make - that one actually came up completely on accident after we all heard a strange noise on the P.A. System and realized that it was the sound of the microphone, which I was holding loosely by the cord, was rubbing against my crotch.

I made the sound of it again, the guitarist used the ridge of his hand to make the sounds on the guitar with the bassist following suit, and the drummer started up the beat.

Then the song just came outta nowhere. I still have no idea how to write it, and we just do it naturally from beginning to end.

Yeah, weird how that happens.

Anyway, tomorrow will just be a big ol' "ABWABWABWA" party by yours truly, and all y'all are invited. From the time of recording, to posts made on The Pen Is My Sword, stuff uploaded to Youtube under our main band's gmail account, to me playin' those songs and more recordings by yours truly at Shittychat.

Here's to a good day tomorrow. Hell, I'll even settle for an average day.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Age 1457
Ht: 6'5"
Wt: 220 lbs.
B/W/H: Lean-muscled
Hand: Ambidextrous
Eyes: Dark brown
Skin: Pale
Hair: Long and blonde, black eyebrows
Musculature: Long, lean and lanky but behind that arm and leg length is an intensely dense musculature. As such he prefers hand-to-hand attack not only due to his prowess in them but mainly for the sheer pleasure of causing such intense pain personally.

Demeanor: Can be stern and serious at times, but is mostly mischievously malevolent. Is even known to be something of a bully to his own supporters, but his charisma (at least to those within the Legion) is undeniable. Even without his psionic abilities (and indeed, for a short time he was outside of the Hivemind, unable to access his psychic powers) he has an intensely physical presence that both intimidates as it mesmerizes.

Description: A raging sadist and narcissistic as fuck, Demnos increased his psionic powers through the creation of a hivemind, his strength growing in direct relation tot he size of his cult. He now stands at the point where he can be psionically charged and empowered with the need of the hivemind, but keeps it around due to his word.

Yes, he's a sadistic prick, but he's an honorable one. The word of Demnos is stronger than the foundation of reality, and he is well known for returning the favor even to enemies who have aided the Legion in the past.

As such, he (and by association, the Legion) are fiercely neutral, striking out only when they can be assured of a victory and resource gains. For some reason the Legion highly values Horde targets and have attacked them the most out of any other kingdom. He's somewhat ambivalent towards the Goblinate forces, and while he's been somewhat neutral towards the Krieg Army ever since they crash-landed on the planet, the Legion was for the longest time considered a direct threat to Tokyo Two.

He usually wears extremely loose robes, proudly displaying a whole lot of that light-skinned lanky musculature, and he moves like a ghost amongst the various gatherings and castes of the Northlands. Usually the robe is of tunic-like material and almost all white, his feet sheathed in padded samite. His hands have been described as being that of an artist, and while he's not afraid to get dirty (indeed in his line of work he HAS to) he's gone to great lengths to ensure their cleanliness, almost bordering on obsessive-compulsiveness. He publicly wears a black choker and the ring that connects him spiritually to Queen Lazuli, both gifts from the very same woman.

Within his deep, dark eyes lays equally dark secrets. The Legion has been around on this planet for some time now, and he has since learned things that even the Horde has forgotten...things that may spell ultimate victory in his, and the Legion's, favor.

He is Demnos. Soon, so shall you.

Note: The Hivemind isn't what normal people would consider a "perfect gestalt," that is a perfect blending of every mind within the organization but, rather, a mental link that exists between each person within the Hivemind, all attempting to live up to the standard of being Demnos. It's, literally, a society that has the pressure of one personality opposed over all others, for all that individual tastes and fashions exist. Possibly because of this strange dual-layering of personalities, the need for entertainment and passing fads are even greater amongst the Hivelands than anywhere else, and merchants love this place because they can offload trinkets, toys, puzzles and games as quickly as they can pick up new stuff from here.

Tertius
Theme Song: "Spin Spin Sugar" - Sneaker Pimps

Age 117
Ht: 5'11"
Wt: *shoots the interviewer*
B/W/H: 36/24/30
Hand: Left-handed
Eyes: Blue
Skin: Olive
Hair: Red hair worn long.
Musculature: Due to her constant training, she's actually quite impressively muscled for her size and assumed weight. In one particular skirmish, she even gave the great Makiko Kraze a spot of trouble when the battle boiled down to sheer hand-to-hand prowess.

Demeanor: As silent and foreboding as her little brother is spunky and bubbling. She's actually quite anti-social and would rather take up hobbies and training that focuses on silence and inward-meditation. Because of her experience and introspective training, she's risen up the ranks to become the head of the Holy Order of Gun Knights. Actually has a severe hatred of Devon Shrike, and refuses her little brother to ever talk to him.

Description: The siblings Tertius and Secundus (not their real names, but their given names within the Legion) are the pinnacle of Legion biotechnology, the perfect blending of human DNA and otherworldly powers. As such they are the first generation of humans born already into the Hivemind, the perfect examples of Legionnaire soldiers.

On the other hand, they each both have glaringly opposite personalities and preferences, though they remain close as siblings even today. Appearing to be a young, healthy, muscular woman in her mid-twenties, Tertius' extreme training and powerful agility has seen to it that she has yet to suffer a single scar, dancing about the battlefield while dispensing death with an eager and bloodthirsty hand. While fighting, her very eyes and aura radiates with pure bloodlust. On a day-to-day basis she prefers quieter hobbies such as gardening, painting and playing the violin.

Despite her standing in the Hivemind, she prefers to wear the olive green and dark browns of the military cast, never forgetting her days as a soldier leading up to becoming a Gun Knight.

Because of how stern she is (especially considering her brother's ways), no one knows that she actually really does enjoy a good time and wants to hang out, she's just very quiet and slightly shy.

Secundus
Theme Song: "Cherry Lips" - Garbage

Age 113
Ht: 5'5"
Wt: 150 lbs.
B/W/H: Lightly, lithely muscled all over. In the proper clothes he can even look curvier than his older sister.
Hand: Right-handed.
Eyes: Red
Skin: Olive
Hair: Dark blue hair cut short.
Musculature: As note before, he's far more effeminate-shaped than his older sister, something he takes advantage of from time to time to mess with her erstwhile lovers.

Demeanor: Bubbly, spunky, happy and peppy. Seems to be in his early twenties. He can also be loud, brash and abrasive if given a chance, though no one could ever tell with a face as cute as his. He can easily pass for a girl until it's time to take the clothes off - no amount of trickery can hide the defined lines of his muscles and the various scars he's earned through battle. Despite the difference in training and musculature when compared to his sister, he actually has a higher vitality than she does (though he's not as strong as she) and is known for bulling his way through blades and arrows in order to happily point-blank a target.

Description: Trap trap trap trap. Even the Hivemind cannot tell you EVERYTHING about every individual you meet, and he takes advantage of this by dressing up from time to time. He's also a lazonic guitarist and back-up singer in a band, and his various actions while in said band have been nothing short of scandalous, though acceptable as an entertaining diversion, to the populace.

Far wilder than his sister, yet loves her with a deep earnestness that is rarely found within the Legion. Even as old as he is he has never stopped doting on his older sister, and she's the only person known to be able to truly control him when he starts to go overboard.

The only person he's as devoted to is Demnos himself, and has been known to be Lazuli's plaything from time to time.

Due to his particular take on fighting, his body is covered in a number of impressive battle scars, scars that he loves to show off on-stage.

Proudly wears silver and blue in all of his clothing, denoting his place amongst the Hivemind.

Age: 32
Ht: 6'1"
Wt: 250 lbs.
B/W/H: Heavy/Heavy/Powerful
Hand: Left-handed
Eyes: Gold
Skin: tanned
Hair: Has long black hair tied back in a neat ponytail, his clipped sideburns leading into a along-the-jaw beard (y'know, the "jockstrap") and goatee. It's well-known that he's dyed his hair ever since the Battle of Arcanum.
Musculature: Heavily muscled, a real bearstrong type. Despite his "man who wrestles bears" physique, he's incredibly fast and agile, almost like coiled springs were in his legs. Hairy as hell all over.

Demeanor: A real loud kinda guy who has an immensely physical presence. The moment he walks into a room he usually just takes up space, and has been known to start fights for fun. A real mercenary at heart, though he plays his cards close to his chest and never explains his actions. Can be a real asshole at times, and will gladly kill as many as needed to accomplish the goals of his superiors. Desperately wants to join the Hivemind but, for whatever his reasons, Demnos has yet to fully brainwash him, only enough to hear Demnos' thoughts and feel the "brush" of others' minds against his.

Description: A real whirling bastard in his own right with two decades of dirty tricks and combat capabilities under his belt, he's only somewhat recently joined the Legion of Demnos as a freelancer. Beforehand he was his younger sister's right-hand-man and second-in-command, their mercenary company renown throughout the lands as the only company able to withstand even a Krieg Army attack and survive.

Their parents dead from a border skirmish, Devon raised his little sister from a cute little girl into a cute little mercenary warleader, training her until she began to surpass him in both martial arts and weaponry, delighting in her psionic capabilities even as she took control of their parents' mercenary company.

Little is known as to why he switched sides to the Legion, but the Battle of Arcanum has left a miasma about him, so much so that some within the Legion have even begun to ostracize him.

Age 1000
Ht: 6'5"
Wt: 220 lbs.
B/W/H: Lean-muscled
Hand: Ambidextrous
Eyes: Lavender. Wears glasses.
Skin: Pale
Hair: Short-cut blonde hair, grizzly muttonchops and is usually seen with a five o'clock shadow even in the morning.
Musculature: Long, lean and lanky but behind that arm and leg length is an intensely dense musculature. Despite his bitterness and hatred of, apparently, everyone he nevertheless employs a rough and rugged style of martial arts, using his steam pistol "Edge Blaster" whenever ranged attacks are necessary. Otherwise he's actually quite ambivalent about battle in and of itself, and it shows in how he takes care of himself - though he dresses sloppily, underneath his lab coat he's actually quite lean.

Demeanor: Bitter, cynical, spiteful, hate-filled. Normally growls at his co-workers and aides, but has never been known to be abusive to them and is even willing to listen, though he's far from approachable. A grump at the best of times, downright assholish and antagonistic at the worst.

Description: A man whose leash is held tightly by Demnos. A man with a short fuse, a hair trigger, and a suicide switch that has been temporarily disabled simply because it amuses his superior.

Once again, a higher council member who is outside the Legion, Dr. Neuroid's origins and what his relationship to Demnos lays in mystery and no one within the Hivemind has dared to broach the subject. Most find his company bearable, even enjoyable under certain conditions (he has a severe love of reading and literature, and also is something of a connoisseur of coffee and is well known amongst such shops), but none will dare naysay Demnos in his derogatory treatment of Neuroid.

Neuroid has no love nor loyalty to Demnos and, if pushed hard enough, will point out that the only reason why he hasn't betrayed Demnos yet is because the Legion might suffer because of it.

He's secretly something of a celebrity to the Hivemind, and is actually quite well-received by the people despite his normal grizzliness, something they usually just accept.

Demnos usually forces him to wear nothing but his day-to-day accouterments even into battle, and there is a geas forcing him to never take off his Hive Rings, that and the slave collar a constant reminder of his place within the Legion (even though he's on the High Council). Furthermore his gloves bear the name of Lazuli, much like the ring Demnos wears constantly, and there appears to be something of a love triangle between Demnos, Neuroid, and Lazuli.

The Professor
Theme Song: "Obscure" - Dir en Grey

Age ???
Ht: 7'11"
Wt: It fluctuates between 300 and 5000, though he never seems to visibly gain weight.
B/W/H: He's one long, thin lank. Seriously.
Hand: Which one? He can grow more arms and hands as he wishes.
Eyes: A kaleidoscope of colors, but wears shaded glasses to hide them. In combat, they change to a otherworldly, vivid teal color.
Skin: White.
Hair: Choppy, messes, shabbily-cut orange.
Musculature: Musculature doesn't seem to really matter with him. His strength and weight fluctuates on his whims, but he always looks the same - horrifyingly skinny for someone so tall, one could even consider him emaciated-looking.

Demeanor: Loves bad puns, horrible humor, naughty limericks and always has that shark-toothed slasher smile. Every part of him radiates creep, and he pretty much lives to make other people squirm. Is the only person who can noticeably get a rise out of Demnos, and is the only person in the Legion who cannot be "accessed" by anyone else other than Demnos. Will chuckle at pretty much anything, even if he's captured or is in a bad predicament.

Description: Obsessed with his work, ever increasing his store of knowledge and as skilled in battle as he is at creeping his own comrades out, The Professor is a warehouse of horroshow just waiting to be unleashed. His very aura makes people uneasy to be around him, and his inner sanctum (located in an incredibly haunted mansion in Zed-2) has only ever been seen by Demnos himself. The "Demon of the Hivemind" has a knowledge that goes beyond human tenacity, and it's been suggested that this knowledge has twisted him to become the man that's presented today.

Despite appearances and that whole weight/strength foible, one could almost think him to be completely human on a good day when his morbid sense of humor has been provoked.

Then that creepy, ghastly smile begins. His fingers can bend backwards and this way and that, all in unnatural ways.

Then he starts to grow more arms and hands, sometimes out of places where they have no business growing out of.

Then the music begins and he starts to give that horrible, awful chuckle of his, his eyes glowing wrongly.

Not badly, not differently.

Just wrong.

Immortal Lazuli (second-in-command)
Theme Song: "Decollage" - Alizee

Age Endless
Ht: 5'5"
Wt: DOOOOHOHOHOHOHO!
B/W/H: 34/28/34
Hand: Right handed, but will sometimes forget and use her left hand
Eyes: Black
Skin: Pale
Hair: Black, plaited in many braids with a golden coif-thingy
Musculature: lightly muscled, she's all soft curves and delicious natural padding

Demeanor: A strangely lusty Overpowered who has thrown her chips in with Demnos on this world. Will laugh loudly at any questions she doesn't want answered, and can laugh so long that it can drive people insane - she's only ever had to use this twice though. Has her own mysterious history, her background unknown to the Legion even as she dwells deep within it.

Is a proud member of the Hivemind and supposedly won the privilege by beating Demnos in a game of chess, something which he'll only smirk if asked about.

Is the Queen of the Legion, and apparently has enough experience with being royalty for it to show. She can be haughty at times, and while she doesn't demand the finer things in life they seem to be given to her anyway.

Description: An Overpowered whose name isn't unknown to the Extreme Existence or the Spatial Witches, her powers and abilities (nor how she's come to be Immortal) are largely kept a secret. Like any good Overpowered, she keeps the origin and nature of her strengths hidden and instead relies mostly on her offworlder guns, Fafnir and Fenrir. Even they seem to be rather strange, able to fire without the need to be reloaded, able to shoot energy bullets and can even produce from the bottom of the grip and along the sides of the barrel. Even more so, they can only be fired by her, responding not at all to anyone else' touch save for those who bear her favors.

Despite her place in the Hivemind, none can ever truly penetrate her mind, a psionic wall blocking all attempts.

She can be as cruel as Demnos, but favors more people than he does and is a celebrity in her own right amongst the Legion. While she has more than a few lovers (though it's only ever rumored that she and Dr. Neuroid are doing anything other than reading together), she remains true to her promises and is utterly loyal to Demnos above all.

In a sense, even in a twisted and perverted society such as the Legion, there can be true love as well.

Honestly and fervently believes that Demnos will ascend to become an Overpowered, with or without Nepthis' help.

Description: He's a bear with a jetpack who's in the Legion. Everyone just accepts that he's there, even if no one knows his backstory either.

Is a valued and high-ranking member of Demnos' closest council, and is highly feared for his incredible mobility in the heat of battle.

He's a bear that can fly with a jetpack. Every other kingdom just wishes they had him instead of the Legion.

Demnos is pleased.

Wears a bear-sized three-piece business suit and tie when not in combat. Strangely enough he really REALLY likes clockwork gears.

Angelender Candysong
Theme Song: "Barbie Girl" - Aqua

Age 16
Ht: 5'0"
Wt: 2 tons
B/W/H: Cute/Cute/Cute
Hand: Right.
Eyes: Gold
Skin: Silver
Hair: Prefers a pageboy bob-cut, but can trade her her out for any number of looks. The hair itself is composed of highly-flexible, incredibly lightweight steel (like any mechanoid with her payroll). Like other mechanoids, she can change her jewelry out or pin them to her collarbone depending on her mood.
Musculature: She's a mechanoid who's shaped like a teenaged girl.

Demeanor: As happy and peppy as she is cute, she's one of the few mechanoid-robotic types that Demnos doesn't seem to berate nor allow to be spoken to in a derogatory fashion. It was she who developed the Zeppelin Bombers, and her own, "Astral," is the lead ship amongst their infamous fleet.

Can be bratty at times but for whatever reason she has Demnos' favor, though it's suggested that their relationship is more father-daughter than anything, with Sirius being her Favorited (and overprotective) uncle.

Description: Don't let the cute looks fool you - this isn't any sexbot. Considering that she numbers amongst her family the strongest person in the entire Hivemind and the chosen leader of the Robotics, she's numbered as one of the most powerful people in the entirety of the Hivelands.

She has also earned many commendations based solely on her performance though, her keen combat skills and the overpowered strength of the Bombers (her brainchild) earning her favor amongst the people as well as the High Council.

It's rumored that she's dating Secundus and, like all teenagers, she can be unerringly naivete at times, which thoroughly explains why she's kept unaware of the growing tension between the Hivemind and those of the Robotics.

Sirius Havenbrook
Theme Song: "Greenback Dollar" - The Kingston Trio

Age supposedly 58
Ht: 8'0"
Wt: 10 tons
B/W/H: Wide/trim (in proportion to the rest of him)/sturdy
Hand: Ambidextrous
Eyes: Red, can turn pitch-black when he's activated for combat
Skin: Gold
Hair: Black, very vaudeville style, and he is almost never without his tophat and monocle. Has a pencilstache, because fuck you if you don't understand, that's why.
Musculature: His internal structure is made up of clockwork gears and crystals. He's as top of the line as it gets amongst the Robotics. Otherwise he resembles a mountain of muscle.

Demeanor: Actually quite charming and outspoken, he believes very strongly that Robotics (sentient robots, mechanoids, and cyborgs) should be given equal rights and freedoms like the Hivemind. He fights very strongly to do away with the derogatory terms such as "Supporter" and "Hivemind Enabler" in order to create a more equal future for both sides. Still, despite his friendliness with Demnos he's incredibly wary of the man, and will sometimes even be at complete odds with him.

It's been noted that the two act more like old friends than master and servant, but Demnos quells any curiosity into that line of thought quickly.

Description: Far more approachable than any of Demnos' advisers, and Demnos publicly owes Sirius his life. Sirius is Demnos's butler and bodyguard, though it's been suggested that they might have been more at one point in time. It's a well-known fact that Sirius Havenbrook was once a human being, but had slowly been transformed into the Boxing Nightmare he has become today.

Is never without his boxing gloves, and is the epitome of gentlemanly airs. A true gentleman even in the heat of combat, he can touch another with the softness of a newborn kitten or completely obliterate them with the power of a dive-bombing battleship.

Despite his size, he's also got the best footwork out of the entire game, and can be annoying to land a hit on if he's started to move about.

The monocle is actually a part of his eyesocket, for all that it doesn't look it, and the tophats usually house a backup memory storage.

Individual Units

All military units wear colors of olive green and brown. All artistic units wear colors of silver and gold. All "executive" types wear colors of silver and blue.

Soldiers - tunics with chain mail, cloth boots, half plate helm, each one comes with a gladius-style sword and full shield. Military units.

Penguins - just like soldiers, only they're penguins. Military units.

Bears - Like soldiers, only they're bears. Military units.

Scientist - Artistic units. Scientists are known for wearing the same gear on the battlefield as they do in the lab, as homage to the great Dr. Neuroid. It's generally accepted that while The Professor is the one who helped bring forth steampunk technology and the usage of steel in the Hivelands, Dr. Neuroid himself has made much progress in the way of biology, genetics and more. Uncomfortable shoes is the reason why all scientists are as unsociable as they are.

Aliens - "aliens" are slightly cheesy in how they're presented, like old-school 50's aliens with the tinfoil armor and the huge helmets, only these have tentacles. They're rather tall and can be actually strong melee, for all that they prefer their own ranged weaponry.

Giant Robo - Military unit. Giant, silver humanoid robots that walk slowly and smash down on enemies with their fists.

Cyborgs - Military unit. Humanoid creatures that are mostly flesh but usually have a limb or two (or four) replaced with metal versions of those limbs.

Dimensional Shambler - Military unit. Largest known unit available in the game, they are combinations of the chaotic necronomicons and giant robots. Resemble enormous, rotting giant robots with bits and pieces out of place all over their bodies, with extra faces and body parts here and there. It's been suggested that the inside of a Dimensional Shambler is an entrance to a dimension of livid terror.

Flying Robo - Military unit. Giant robo with an enormous jetpack.

Bomber Robo - Military unit. Giant robo with a Zeppelin on it's back. The Zeppelin fits inside of the robo, and deploys from the back as it floats up into the air, then goes horizontal and can move about that way, with it's arms out like Superman, y'know?

Mechanoid - Military unit. They look like metal humanoids. They usually ARE their own armor and don't need any extra, but great strides in robotics-Hivemind relations have made available a sleek form of lightweight metal armor that fits atop their normal clothes.

Rocketeer - Military units. Soldiers with jetpacks.

Necronomicans - Military units. See Necronomicons for specific design notes, but they're all the classic Lovecraftian ones with a few extras thrown in.

Protomystics - Artistic units. They favor light clothing and the staves of their profession, they're as old school as it gets. Every last one of them usually favors robes with hoods, and look like they belong to a bad 70's cult.

Gun Knights - Military units. Every last one of them are ripped from The Matrix. Technically Equilibrium, but both use a shitton of black trench coats and clothing, so there ya go.

Balloonist - Military units. Small zeppelins that almost resembles a hot air balloon but still has the underslung transportation bay. Unlike military units, all Balloonists and Zeppelin Bombers bear the colors of silver and black.

Zepplen Bomber - Military units. Humongoid, powerful, highly weaponized versions of the Balloonists. Unlike military units, all Balloonists and Zeppelin Bombers bear the colors of silver and black.

Tech Priests - Artistic units. Robes, sandals, pauldrons, the Protomystics can only wear light clothing (up to leathers) and they favor the more flowing, loose robes of their group. They wield only blunt weapons, but favor the control rod that allows them to channel mystical energies into constructs and SCIENCE! units.