The Pure Uncut.

April 17, 2013August 19, 2013

Wifey.

If you’ve ever dated, worked with, mic checked while humming aint no fun if the homies can’t have none or hung around a black man, you’ve probably heard the term “wifey” (*editors note, I’ve lived all around the world and have never heard white men say wifey) and wondered to yourself just what the hell constitutes “wifey”?

The term is usually reserved for those women that men consider the best of the best, the cream of the crop, with no gag reflex or the pick of the litter. After further examination, I realized that this term is thrown around more than Rihanna at a YMCMB/Chris Brown after party and can be confusing as hell.

But Breazy, what characteristics does a chick need to have to be given this highly sought after title?

I’m glad you ask, she needs to be able to keep calm and suck on.

Seriously though, while it may seem like us men are controlled by our “Charles Dickens” we are much more complicated and layered like onions than what we give off. You would be surprise to know that what some of us look for in “wifey” is much more detailed than looks and sex even though being double jointed does help.

So I present to you a few examples of characteristics that most men will agree that all “wife-able” women possess. Feel free to take notes.

1. Understanding.

Men are looking for a woman that creates a warm and comfortable atmosphere, one where we can feel free to let our guard down and just be our selves. Accepting our faults and short comings while not being afraid to put us in check when it’s needed. Someone who listens more than talks, is supportive and knows when to give us space will always be coveted even more so than someone who is beautiful for no reason.

2. Down to earth.

No man wants to marry an asshole or a know it all, so it’s nice to be with someone who is grounded and unpretentiousness. A woman that doesn’t take herself to seriously, isn’t afraid to laugh at her self or admit when she is wrong is almost mythical. Since we like things that are basic, being with someone who is down to earth regardless of her looks will be sought after more than a beautiful shrew.

3. Not afraid to sweat.

While I do mean it they way it sounds, I mean someone who isn’t afraid let her hair down and be active. Whether it’s going to monuments, live shows sex in public or working out together men like a woman that likes to do something and isn’t content with being a homebody. It’s no fun being in the house all the time when the highlight of the week is just watching TV from the sofa.

Obviously , there are other characteristics like loyalty, a high sex drive and being compassionate that most men look for in a “wifey”, but I named the first three that popped into my head first.