The mystery man came overAnd he said "I'm outta sight!"He said for a nominal service chargeI could reach nirvana tonightIf I was ready, willing and ableTo pay him his regular feeHe would drop all the rest ofHis pressing affairs and devoteHis attention to me

But I said "Look here brotherwho you jiving with that cosmik debris?Now who you jiving with that cosmik debris?Look here brother, don't waste your time on me"

The mystery man got nervousAnd he fidget around a bitHe reached in the pocket of his mystery robeAnd he whipped out a shaving kitNow I thought it was a razorAnd a can of foaming gooBut he told me right then when the top popped openThere was nothin' his box won't doWith the oil of Aphrodite, and the dust of the Grand WazooHe said "You might not believe this, little fellaBut it'll cure your asthma too"

And I said "Look here brotherWho you jiving with that cosmik debris?Now what kind of a guru are you, anyway?Look here brother, don't waste your time on me"(Don't waste your time)

"I've got troubles of my own", I said"And you can't help me outSo, take your meditations and your preparationsAnd ram it up your snout!""But I got the crystal ball", he saidAnd held it to the lighSo I snatched it, all away from himAnd I showed him how to do it right

I wrapped a newspaper 'round my headSo I looked like I was deepI said some mumbo-jumbo, thenI told him he was going to sleepI robbed his rings and pocketwatchAnd everything else I foundI had that sucker hypnotizedHe couldn't even make a soundI proceeded to tell him his future, thenAs long as he was hanging aroundI said "The price of meat has just gone upAnd your old lady has just gone down!"

And I said "Look here brother-who youJiving with that cosmik debris?Now is that a real poncho or is that a Sears poncho?Don't you know, you could make more money as a butcher?So, don't waste your time on me"Don't waste it, don't waste your time on me(Shanti)

Comments/Interpretations

by Seaumas on 3/28/2012 12:07amthis, to me, is Zappa's funniest and best 'slice o' life' song. And its not DaDa. I don't know who did it first, but Stevie Wonder did his "Mr. Know It All" about pretty much the same thing- or same person(?) I do know that Aynsley Dunbar did that fine drum time and Jack Bruce did the bouncy bass. They had played together before. It might have been a hit, but it was only aired on AOR stations like WBCN-FM.