By Tierce Green

It was a sad day in our family room, at least for me, when the plasma display I’ve owned since 2006 stopped turning on. Plasmas have been discontinued for a while now, replaced by the brighter and lighter, better for the environment LCD flat panel displays. But plasmas delivered these rich colors contrasted by beautiful deep blacks that LCDs, in my opinion, have yet to match. The question in this disposable electronics age is, “Do I repair it or replace it?” My techno-freak friends and I have our preferences and opinions on the subject, but this isn’t a consumer electronics review. I want to switch channels and talk about something with eternal implications, one thing in particular that can’t be repaired.

Our heart is unfixable. It may be hard to accept, but you don’t have enough intelligence or skills for this job. Education is valuable, but even the most educated and advanced people in the world have committed heinous crimes against humanity. Our heart—who we really are at the core—is defective. The only solution is revealed in the Book of Ezekiel, likely written between 593 and 565 B.C. during the Babylonian captivity of the Jews. It exposes a systemic problem and reveals the drastic measures required to fix it.

Ezekiel was probably in his thirties when God sent him as a prophet to his people—people who were in God’s own words obstinate and stubborn (Ezekiel 2:3-6). They were a “rebellious house.” Ezekiel’s book paints a disturbing portrait of the disparity between what God had intended for his people and what they had become. This disparity, as always, produced a deep despair.

What was true then is true now. The real problems aren’t racism, murder, adultery or an endless list of social injustices. Addressing these issues is important and necessary, and we must be passionate and tireless in our efforts to stand against them, but behavior modification would only be a Band-Aid. These are the weeds, symptoms of a deeper problem that can’t be fixed with new legislation. By all means, keep cutting the weeds, but while we do we’ve got to attack the root.

We have a heart of stone. That was the diagnosis delivered by Ezekiel. When you have a heart of stone there’s no need to ask, “How long do I have to live?” because you’re dead already! Ezekiel’s contemporary, Jeremiah concurred and proclaimed, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9) The prognosis: Everything that flows from a heart like this will be infected and polluted. Now, if there’s pollution downstream, you can keep treating the water, but it would be smart to go upstream and eliminate the source.

We must understand that a heart of stone can’t be patched up and repaired. It must be removed and replaced. That was the plan—the New Covenant—delivered by Ezekiel:

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I willremove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” (Ezekiel 36:26)

This is the most outrageous act in history. The cost is absolutely unaffordable. No one has enough money or influence or resources they can leverage to pay for it. But the good news is that the cost of a new heart has been provided by grace and can only be acquired through faith. It has been completely covered by the blood of Jesus.

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)

Do you have a new heart? I received mine when I was nineteen. In my short lifetime I had logged an impressive track record of religious involvement followed by a brief but dark detour driven by self-destructive experimentation. My heart of stone was infecting everything from the inside out. I investigated the claims of Jesus and discovered so much more than a religious fix or moral course correction. I saw evidence of Jesus in those who truly followed him. I believed in him and received his grace. I didn’t repair myself, and God didn’t patch up my old heart. He replaced my heart of stone with a new heart.

“Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.” (John 1:12-13)

This new identity doesn’t exempt us from standing in the trenches against social injustices and providing help for a fractured world. We don’t hide out in some moral or religious bubble. If we are following Jesus closely, we actually get out more and get more involved! We fight harder, but we fight with a broader eternal perspective. We work to understand the reality of what is and dream of what could be. We re-calibrate to what God intended for us and fight the good fight of faith with a new heart.

By Barrett Johnson

The choices he makes now have the power to set the course of his life. He can’t afford to make the “I’m just a teenager” excuse. He needs to know that his life has already started and that the trajectory of his life is being set right now.

Porn is just as addictive as any drug. Most every man wants to look, but the internet has provided your son’s generation with unlimited accessibility. That’s why 60% of our teenage guys are now addicted.

Masturbation is a habit that has the power to undermine his future marriage. Our sons need to know that sex is best when it is given, not when it is taken. Young men who have a habit of masturbation are training their bodies and brains to be selfish. And selfishness gets in the way of just about everything in marriage.

He probably doesn’t need a girlfriend just yet. Most teen romantic relationships are characterized by selfishness and sexual temptation. If the relationship is not going to help him to be more of what God wants him to be, then he’s probably not ready.

Sexual activity should be saved for marriage. A son needs to know the big reasons why his sexuality is precious and worth guarding. (Hint: It has nothing to do with pregnancy or STDs.)

Practicing the long-lost art of chivalrous manhood will set him apart. Most guys in our world are consumers of girls. He needs to learn how to be a young man who guards, protects, and honors the women in his life.

God’s plan for your son’s life might involve doing difficult things. Instead of filling his days with video game adventures and entertainment, he needs to discover the calling that God has for his life. It might be hard, but it will be good.

Walking with God is the most important thing for him to learn. Through his life, he will hear plenty of voices telling him what is important. Only One voice truly matters. That’s why it’s so important for him know God personally.

He’s going to screw up sometimes. And that’s okay. Too many young men believe that when they blow it, God is mad at them. So they distance themselves further from Him. Your son desperately needs to know that God offers forgiveness and a fresh start. Every time.

Life is short and he can’t afford to waste his life. He may not have it all figured out yet (who does?) but your son can start getting his life moving in the right direction now.

These very themes (and many more like them) make up the bulk of The Young Man’s Guide to Awesomeness. Barrett Johnson has created a book that guys will want to read and one that will open up some meaningful conversations between parents and their kids.

The “guide” covers three main themes: (1) How to guard your heart (sexual purity), (2) How to get the girl (principles for relating to the opposite sex), and (3) How to save the world (keys to building a life of significance).

The book has an easy-to-read format, lots of art, and links to 25 videos that will enhance your son’s reading experience. There are also great discussion questions as the end of every chapter so that parents can engage in the process. Learn more about Barrett & Jenifer Johnson at infoforfamilies.com

By Tierce Green

How do you see Jesus? A compassionate Good Shepherd? A meek and mild, even cuddly, Lamb of God? A well-manicured Bridegroom in a black tie and tux? Have you ever imagined the Man yet God, sweating in the sun as he homelessly walked on earth speaking unfiltered truth and fiercely going toe-to-toe against the leaders of religious oppression? Perhaps a better question is this: How do you prefer your Jesus? Do you like your Lion of Judah with or without claws?

This is not a new conversation. Dorothy L. Sayers (1893-1957) was an English author, playwright, Christian apologist and friend of C.S. Lewis. She spoke out against diluted caricatures of Christianity, challenging us to recalibrate to the real unfiltered and unedited Jesus. Her perspective, from the early 20th Century, was that Christians had effectively declawed the Lion of Judah. Below is an excerpt from her essay, The Greatest Drama Ever Staged.

The people who hanged Christ never, to do them justice, accused Him of being a bore—on the contrary; they thought Him too dynamic to be safe. It has been left for later generations to muffle up that shattering personality and surround Him with an atmosphere of tedium. We have very efficiently pared the claws of the Lion of Judah, certified Him "meek and mild," and recommended Him as a fitting household pet for pale curates and pious old ladies. To those who knew Him, however, He in no way suggested a milk-and-water person; they objected to Him as a dangerous firebrand.

True, He was tender to the unfortunate, patient with honest inquirers and humble before Heaven; but ...

He insulted respectable clergymen by calling them hypocrites

He went to parties in disreputable company and was looked upon as a "gluttonous man and a wine-bibber, a friend of publicans and sinners"

He assaulted indignant tradesmen and threw them and their belongings out of the Temple

He drove a coach-and-horses through a number of sacrosanct and hoary regulations

He cured diseases by any means that came handy, with a shocking casualness in the matter of other people's pigs and property

He showed no proper deference for wealth or social position

When confronted with neat dialectical traps, He displayed a paradoxical humour that affronted serious-minded people, and He retorted by asking disagreeably searching questions that could not be answered by rule of thumb.

He was emphatically not a dull man in His human lifetime, and if He was God, there can be nothing dull about God either. But He had "a daily beauty in His life that made us ugly," and officialdom felt that the established order of things would be more secure without Him. So they did away with God in the name of peace and quietness.

If it were possible to hop in a time machine and travel back to 1938, I think I would enjoy having a cigar with Dorothy (she loved to smoke cigars) and hearing more about the Jesus she knew. From my perspective, in the early 21st Century, I can see variations of what she saw then—a perfectly coiffed metrosexual Jesus. But I can also see a high-testosterone chest-beating Jesus presented by angst-filled preachers with a chip on their shoulder—sort of a let's-pick-a-fight Jesus. Either extreme is a caricature.

It will always be a challenge to read the Scriptures without a filter to discover and follow the unedited Jesus. We will naturally gravitate towards explanations and descriptions of his life and teachings that fit our personality or support our experiences. Even the Apostle Paul, with his wealth of experience and education, understood that he still had much to learn about the real Jesus ...

For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. (1 Corinthians 13:12)

I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death ... (Philippians 3:10)

Jesus is the Lamb of God AND the Lion of Judah. He is also the Prince of Peace who curiously said, “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.” (Matthew 10:34) Jesus is the multi-dimensional I Am who cannot be completely captured in one convenient portrait. We have a lifetime to get to know him and an eternity to experience him in his fullness when we finally see him face to face.

By Tierce Green

The Retreat at Jenness ParkI recently spoke for a men’s retreat in the Sierra Nevada Mountains between Yosemite National Park and Lake Tahoe. Most of the men were from small unincorporated towns in that area, towns built in the hills first mined during the 1849 California Gold Rush. Most of the churches are relatively small, from forty to a couple hundred people. Several of the pastors are bi-vocational. It was a refreshing trip joining men who are simply hearing God’s Word and doing it.

The RancherThe retreat at Jenness Park attracted a broad age-range of men in their twenties through their sixties. As I listened to their stories, I think I learned as much as I taught that weekend. One of those stories came from a semi-retired rancher who had a lot of miles on his body and his Bible. I jokingly asked how many times he had to drag his Bible around the parking lot to get it to look that rough and ragged. He quietly said, “That’s not from dragging, that’s from using. There’s lots of good stuff in there.” I could tell by the way he listened and the stories he told that God’s Word had equipped and mobilized him to impact his family and community. He loved God and practiced His Word. This man was a great example of authentic manhood.

The Pastor of DisasterMy ride from the Sacramento airport was provided by Rob Bline, co-pastor at Glory Bound Fellowship, a cowboy church in Burson, California. Wildfires are common in California. People seem to mark time by framing their stories with names like the Mokelumne Fire, the Butte Fire, and so on. Before Rob was officially on board with Glory Bound Fellowship, one of those fires had recently impacted the area. He was still in the interview process, but because of his experience with disaster relief Rob was recruited by the county to help organize their efforts. By the time he saddled up as co-pastor at GBF, God had given him connections and credibility just by locking arms with others in the community.

The MorticianTransportation back to Sacramento was provided by Glenn Moore, the men’s director for the association. Glenn is a bi-vocational pastor in Angels Camp, one of the few incorporated towns in the area. Glenn is a mortician, a caterer, an inventor and a saxophone player. Needless to say, Glenn is well-connected in the community just like Rob is, just like the semi-retired rancher is, just like most of the men that I met at this retreat—men who are connected, serving and sharing the gospel.

The ImpactGood news delivered with good deeds that glorify God and point people to Jesus ... sometimes the simplest things are the the most profound things.

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”— Matthew 5:14-16

Don’t look for his peace in an explanation for trouble. Analyzing what is happening can broaden our perspective, and attempting to explain it may bring temporary relief, but it won't deliver the deep satisfaction we need. It’s okay to ask why and to speculate, but the peace Jesus promised cannot be found in an explanation for the trouble.

It has been said said that you can’t direct the wind, but you can adjust your sails. Correctly calibrating our sails not only helps us ride out the storm, it enables us to find peace in the midst of the storm. Learn to calibrate your sails to these three things:

[1] THE PEACE OF GOD IS FOUND IN THE SON OF GOD. Jesus said, “I have told you these things, so that IN ME you may have peace.” It’s okay to ask questions and consider why life is hurting, but focus on the location of the peace that Jesus promised. It is found in him. Jesus invites us to follow him, not the religion of Christianity. The religion of Christianity is more about behavior modification and an appreciation of Jesus. But following Jesus is personal, relational and real. It is in this relationship that we find peace with God and discover the peace of God.

Rather than seeking a satisfying answer to your questions, seek him. Rather than running to a logical explanation for the crisis, disappointment, or hurt—run to him. The idea of running to Jesus may seem abstract, but it is in this beautiful mystery, in his presence, that we discover his peace.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in his wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of his glory and grace.

Can we experience a level of peace apart from a relationship with Jesus? Of course we can. But it is connected to and directed by circumstances. His peace is substantive and satisfying. It is in a category by itself. This peace is exactly where Jesus said it would be: “I have told you these things, so that IN ME you may have peace.”

[2] THE PEACE OF GOD IS FOUND IN THE WORD OF GOD. In Isaiah 55:9 God says, “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” God reveals his ways and his thoughts in his Word. It positions us to see his perspective and understand his purpose. It reminds us of who Jesus really is, and that is crucial because we tend to see him through cultural and religious filters. We construct a safe Jesus, or an angry Jesus, or a social justice Jesus from our personal preferences. God’s Word deconstructs our sometimes inaccurate and self-serving philosophies of life, exposing what hurts us and prescribing what helps us.

The Word of God brings comfort and guidance. Systematically reading through it is best, but even random samplings reveal how timely and specific it can be to provide healing and help us navigate through this life.

… If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction. I will never forget your precepts, for by them you have preserved my life. (Psalms 119:92-93)

[3] THE PEACE OF GOD IS FOUND IN TIME ALONE WITH GOD. Jesus modeled this practice when he would withdraw from the crowds to spend time alone with the Father. If he needed it, how much more do we? Making time and taking time to process, to pray, to allow God to bring order to your thoughts, to listen to his voice, to train your heart to trust and obey. There is comfort and peace in time alone with God.

You can only drive so far on a tank of gas. At some point you will need to exit the freeway and find a gas station. Admitting that you need to refill your tank is not enough. Identifying a gas station is not enough. Circling the pumps and discussing how much you need gas would be ridiculous. You must pull up to the correct pump, turn off your engine, get out of the car … and refuel. This may take awhile depending on how empty your tank is. This is all part of the journey. This practice will keep you from being stranded on the side of the road and help you arrive at your destination.

Running on empty will suck the peace of God right out of us. Smart, driven, high-energy, competitive guys are notorious for running on fumes. Quiet, pensive, analytical, dreamers are not automatically given to time alone with God. Sometimes they are just lost in their own thoughts. All of us must make a daily choice to spend time alone with God. That is where his Word becomes personal, the presence of Jesus is real, and his peace becomes yours even in the midst of trouble.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the PEACE OF GOD, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7)

This post completes the blog series, Peace in the Midst of Trouble. What would you like to do?

Watch Jimmy Needham’s cover of Clear the Stage by Ross King. God has used it many times in my life to direct my thoughts, helping me to clear the stage and create space for him to do what only he can do.

What Good Is Trouble?

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." – Jesus (John 16:33)

In this world, Jesus said to expect trouble! You don’t have to go looking for it because it will find you. Don’t be surprised by it, but don’t live in fear of it either because this bad thing can really be a good thing. Understanding how this works can not only change your perspective, it can transform your life. Here are three things to consider:

[1] DISCIPLINE FROM GOD

Discipline is a good thing. In athletics, business, or any worthy endeavor, discipline is a key to success. Self-imposed discipline helps us reach our goals. As a true follower of Jesus we exercise discipline as we partner with God to work out our salvation. We understand that we are not working for our salvation, but we are working because of it. The Apostle Paul describes it this way:

So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified. (1 Corinthians 9:26-27)

Paul was not living in fear of losing his salvation. He fully understood that his salvation was secure because of God’s grace, not because of any works he had done or could do. His identity was in Christ. His concern was that without this self-imposed discipline he might be put on the bench, disqualified from serving and representing Jesus well.

There are times, however, when external discipline is required. Let’s say that we have been ignoring God’s will as revealed in his Word, ignoring the conviction of his Holy Spirit and excusing our sin. Perhaps there have even been some people who cared enough to confront us and attempted to help us, but we have been intentionally avoiding them. The Scriptures teach us that God will discipline us because he loves us.

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined ... then you are illegitimate children and not true sons … Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness … (Hebrews 12:7-11)

Do you see the big red flag right in the middle of that passage? It says, “If you are not disciplined … then you are illegitimate children and not true sons.” Discipline is one of the indicators of our salvation. Someone who is living a lifestyle of sin and rebellion without the conviction of the Holy Spirit and without discipline from God is illegitimate. In other words, they have never been saved. A true child of God will be disciplined by a loving Heavenly Father when that kind of correction is needed.

In his book “The Problem of Pain” C.S. Lewis says: "God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, and shouts in our pain. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” God may be using trouble to get our attention. We tend to pray the hardest when life hurts. Our knees hit the floor when our backs are against the wall.

Discipline is a good thing because it is for our good.

[2] DEEPENING OF OUR FAITH

Trouble is like the refiner’s fire, the crucible of life that deepens, purifies and focuses our faith. We see this metaphor in the Scriptures:

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. (1 Peter 1:6-7)

When life brings the heat it exposes the flaws in our faith, flaws that even a self-disciplined lover-of-the-Word follower of Jesus may not see. Trouble can reveal the the blind spots that are holding us back from God’s purpose.

If you are holding a bottle of water in one hand and hit it with the other hand, water will spill out of the bottle. Why? One perspective is because you hit it. But consider this: Water comes of the bottle because water is in the bottle. When trouble shakes us, when circumstance squeeze us, what comes out of us is what’s in us. This is what Jesus said:

" … Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." (Luke 6:45)

How we respond when trouble comes will determine if our faith is deepened or our growth is stunted. Do we accept it and cooperate with the refining process, or do we spin it and blame others, frequently implying that we are the victim. The Scriptures give us the right perspectives and some very good reasons for responding appropriately.

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. (Romans 5:1-5)

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. (James 1:2-5)

[3] DISPLAYING GOD’S POWER

In John Chapter 9, we see see Jesus and his disciples as they encounter a man who had been blind all his life. Notice the question the disciples asked:

As he went along he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.” (John 9:1-3)

Of course, we know that our sin nature has caused all kinds of hurt and sickness and collateral damage, but the question the disciples asked is a reflection of our tendency to look for a logical reason or someone to blame for the hurt or trouble we encounter. They asked Jesus why this man was born blind. Was it his fault or his parents’ fault? That’s a simple multiple choice question, but Jesus basically said “none of the above.” He introduced a possibility that is typically overlooked. “This happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.”

There are times when God allows trouble not because we need to be disciplined, or because our faith needs to be deepened. Sometimes God allows trouble so that his power can be displayed, a context where his glory can be revealed. We have the opportunity to be a canvas for his masterpiece, to provide space for him to do something that only he can do. He may choose to bring healing like Jesus did for the man who was born blind. He may choose not to heal in the way we had hoped, creating even more space for his glory, grace, sovereignty and our need for a savior to be revealed.

Watch Jonas and Christy Dienner’s story about peace in the midst of trouble, and see how God displayed his power in devastating circumstances inspiring people around the world.

Why Life Sometimes Hurts

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." – Jesus (John 16:33)

It helps to understand the source of the trouble that Jesus promised. Where does it come from? Why does life sometimes bring so much hurt? Here are three things that we need to understand about trouble, starting with the root cause of it all:

[1] OUR SIN NATURE. When Adam and Eve sinned everything was fractured and twisted. All of mankind—not just that first man and woman but ALL mankind—was cursed from that point forward. You can feel it in what God said to Adam and Eve in the Book of Genesis after this epic fail.

To the woman he said, “I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing ... Your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you …”To Adam he said, “…cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life. It will produce thorns and thistles for you … By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground since from it you were taken.” (Genesis 3:16-19)

We inherited all of that. It’s called the depravity of man. Depravity doesn’t mean we are as bad as we could possibly be. By comparison we can always find someone who is worse than us. Depravity means that we are as BAD OFF as we could possibly be. Because of our sin nature we are born at odds with our Creator. Our sin separates us from his holiness.

In this sinful fallen world there will be famines and poverty, tsunamis and hurricanes, killer tornadoes and floods. Babies will be born with defects. People will suffer from Alzheimer’s, dementia, cancer, stroke and heart attacks. In this world, because of our depravity, there will be trouble. We are broken people who live and contend in a broken world.

[2] THE CHOICES OF OTHERS. Since everyone is born with a sin nature, and the essence of that nature is self-serving, choices will be made by some that will directly and randomly affect others. All of us have been victims of the collateral damage caused by the selfish sinful choices of others. This shouldn’t come as a surprise. The Bible tells us that the trouble in this world will become progressively worse as the day of Christ’s return draws near.

There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God—having a form of godliness but denying its power. (2 Timothy 3:1-5)

There will be nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, no gated community, no religious bubble where we will be immune to the intensifying trouble in these last days. Even in the church there will be people who are “having a form of godliness but denying its power.” There is no perfect church because every church is made up of sinners who frequently default to their sin nature instead of the Holy Spirit. Sometimes they even spin their choices and frame their actions in a way that resembles godliness causing even more collateral damage and confusion.

In this sinful fallen world, because of the choices of others, there will be thieves and murderers, divorce and bitter custody battles, wife beaters and child abusers, terrorists and religious radicals, racial injustice and extremists who hurt others in the name of their cause, even in the name of God.

[3] OUR CHOICES. You wouldn’t intentionally and repeatedly smash your thumb with a hammer and then ask God, “Why is my thumb always hurting?” Not if your sane. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. The point is, sometimes the pain is self-inflicted. We reap what we sow.

Do not be deceived. God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction. The one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. (Galatians 6:7-8)

If the pain is self-inflicted, surely we can stop it, right? But it’s not always that simple. If you are a slave to a destructive pattern of behavior you can’t just flip a switch and modify your behavior. You can put disciplines and limiters in place, but what you really need is transformation, and only God can change the human heart. Learning to live by the Spirit is the key.

For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live. (Romans 8:13)

This requires true humility and a desperate dependence on God to do what only he can do. That creates space for God to work his will in and through us. Start there. Beg God’s forgiveness for being a repeat offender, then exercise proper discipline in his power instead of a mere determination to do better.

THE VERY GOOD NEWS IS THIS: Whatever choices you have made, no matter how long you have made them, nothing can separate us from God’s love or disqualify us from his forgiveness, healing and restoration. We have God’s Word on it:

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39)

Paradoxical Promises

By Tierce Green

Do paradoxes fit into your faith? A paradox is a statement or proposition that seems self-contradictory or absurd but in reality expresses a possible truth. Jesus made statements like that, promises like this one:

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

Two promises that together seem to be contradictory—the promise of peace coupled with the promise of trouble. It seems that the presence of one would eliminate the presence of the other. But Jesus never promised peace apart from trouble. The promise is peace in the midst of trouble.

There is HEAVEN, and there is HERE. And here in this world there will be trouble. Jesus taught us to pray for God’s will to be done here on Earth as it is in Heaven. But God’s will being done on Earth doesn’t change Earth into Heaven. His will is done in the context of here in this world where we will have trouble. On the surface there can be trouble, but in your innermost life there can be peace.

These paradoxical promises come at the end of a long and beautiful discourse that began in John Chapter 14, after Jesus had washed the feet of men who would desert him, one who would deny him and one who would betray him. John 16:33 is a summary statement of all the things he had told his disciples to prepare them for a very difficult and dark time that was quickly approaching. Jesus would soon be arrested and crucified. His disciples who had left everything to follow him would scatter in the aftermath as the shadows of the world played upon their hearts and minds. “I have told you these things that in me you may have peace.” Would this be enough to help them hold on and navigate through their doubts, fears, regrets and guilt? Is it enough for us today?

Peace in the midst of trouble is more than a glass-half-full perspective. It is a peace that can be experienced even when the glass is empty, even when there is no glass for the lemonade you tried to make out of the lemons life gave you. It is more substantive and satisfying than any cliché. It is very real, and it can be found in the context of trouble. Jesus is not offering a light at the end of the tunnel, but a light in the midst of the tunnel.

How can peace and trouble co-exist? In John 14:27 Jesus explained, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you, not as the world gives.” It is his peace, and as such, it is in a category all by itself. It is a peace that is unique. It is a peace that is unaffected by culture and circumstances. We have to zoom out for a broader and higher perspective. We need God's perspective to begin to understand it.

By Tierce Green

FORTY-ONE MEN celebrated their completion of all six volumes of 33 The Series this week, all of them inmates at the Jester 3 Prison Unit in Richmond, Texas. Dick Wall and his team have been faithfully mentoring these men since 2014 using 33 The Series as the primary tool to guide them in their journey toward authentic manhood. Dick and his team would humbly disagree, but I consider these guys to be a collection of Greater Houston Area All-Stars from Christ Evangelical Presbyterian Church, St. Peter’s United Methodist Church and Second Baptist Church. This was my second experience at this facility. Each visit has been a profound reminder of God’s sovereignty and grace and how his love knows no boundaries.

The prisoners recognized me from the videos and gave a warm welcome with handshakes and hugs, high-fives and big smiles of appreciation. I saw an undeniable light in their eyes. We enjoyed a special lunch together of Kentucky Fried Chicken, lemonade and chocolate cake, but the conversations and the stories were truly the main course. These men freely shared what they had been learning from 33, several of them acknowledging that Bible teaching was not a new thing for them, but this was the first time they had understood how to apply biblical principles to specific manhood issues. One man said that it was like discovering an instruction manual for manhood that he never got.

Each member of Dick’s team presented a Certificate of Completion to the men in their group with personal comments and words of encouragement, inspiration that was specific and heartfelt. Most of the inmates shared a brief personal story about what they had experienced that clearly revealed they had not simply gone through the motions to earn a class completion achievement notation in their file.

I heard from several of the inmates what is often expressed by men on the outside, men who have never been locked up in prison—the regret of what their life might look like if they had learned these biblical principles of manhood earlier. I think most of us can identify with that. But thank God for his grace! It is never too late to repent and submit to his plan and purpose for our life. There is forgiveness and redemption, healing for the brokenhearted, comfort for those who grieve, and a crown of beauty instead of ashes. These prisoners understood that. You could see it in their eyes and hear it in their voices. They didn’t make excuses or blame anyone else. Their hope was in Jesus.

I hesitate to point out the unity in diversity that these men are experiencing because it was so organic and uncontrived. It was as it should be. Putting the spotlight on it can sometimes reduce it to an alien occurrence and call into question its authenticity. Why wouldn’t these men feel a deep sense of brotherhood and camaraderie that is born at the foot of the cross and sustained at the feet of Jesus? Let me just say that there were a lot of tears and encouraging words from brothers embracing brothers without regard to race or ethnicity.

Many of these men have maintained contact with their families during their incarceration. They told stories of how their wives and children were noticing something different about them. One of the most amazing moments for me was to hear how these men want their families and friends on the outside to discover what they are experiencing, to learn and apply these biblical principles of manhood for themselves. In Matthew 10:8 (NIV) Jesus said, “Freely you have received; freely give.” This was freely receiving and freely giving as Jesus intended. They were moved with compassion for people on the outside who needed what they had discovered on the inside. If only more men in our churches could be equally moved.

In 33 Volume 1: A Man and His Design we give a clear and compelling definition of biblical manhood. That definition was displayed in these men: REJECT PASSIVITY, ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY, LEAD COURAGEOUSLY, and INVEST ETERNALLY. What a powerful reminder of how God is using this thing we created called 33. I am proud and humbled to be a part of this global manhood movement.

Special thanks to Dick Wall and his team, and to Chaplain Tom Lowe for his help and support. 33 The Series has been approved by the Texas Department of Criminal Justice for use in Texas correctional facilities. It is also being used around the country in other prison systems such as Folsom Prison in California, Milwaukee County House of Corrections in Wisconsin, and Southeast Correctional Center in Missouri.

By Tierce Green

The Parable of the Good Samaritan is a familiar story. Even to those who don’t follow Jesus, the idea of going out of our way to help others, missional living and social justice are things that many people will rally around and lock arms with others to make a measurable difference in the world. But the context of this parable is important, especially to those who claim to follow Jesus. The Parable of the Sower and how Jesus used it is found in Luke 10:25-37.

Sometimes Jesus would answer a question with a question. Other times he would explain a principle with a story, a parable. On this occasion, Jesus used both to reveal the truth about eternal matters, to describe what it looks like to love God and others, and to paint a picture of a person who truly follows him.

Someone who was quite familiar with the Scriptures—a man described as “an expert in the law”—asked Jesus a very direct question: “What must I do to inherit eternal life?”

Jesus responded to his question with two questions: “What is written in the Law? How do you read it?”

Affirmation, respect, an invitation to an open and honest discussion—all of this was communicated in those two questions. “I know you know a lot about the Scriptures, so how do you see it? Let’s get to the essence of the Law, the heart of it, what it really means.” We need more conversations like this, conversations free from legalistic agendas or political posturing where we can all discover the truth.

He answered, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.”

“You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.” (Luke 10:27, NIV)

If the goal was to make a list and check some boxes, that would have been the end of the story. But we all come to these conversations with different perspectives and preferences, various filters we have adopted from our experiences. That’s why it’s not uncommon to see a wide variance or disconnect between biblical principles and practical applications even among the most religious and seemingly intelligent people. This “expert in the law” wanted to justify his actions and support his perspective, so he asked Jesus a question that hints of legalism, self-righteousness and racial prejudice:

“…so he asked Jesus, “Who is my neighbor?” (Luke 10:29, NIV)

Jesus answered this question with a story. A man was traveling from Jerusalem to Jericho when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him, beat him, and left him half-dead on the side of the road. Two very religious men—a priest and a Levite—passed by at different times. Either one of these men could have been the hero, but the Scriptures specifically say that each of them “passed by on the other side” (Luke 10:31-32, NIV). They were probably on their way to church and couldn’t get their hands dirty. It would have interfered with their worship plans and interrupted their religious activities.

I wonder how many times we pass by on the other side. How many times do we look over the crowd without seeing the people? How many times do we not hear because we are too busy talking? How often does our passion for a cause deplete our compassion for people?

Jesus made the hero of the story a Samaritan. Here is where it is important to understand the context of the parable. Samaritans were considered to be half-breads, a less-than race of people in the minds of the Jews. The Samaritans grew out of the tribes of Manasseh and Ephraim after their deportation into Assyria around 723 BC where they intermarried with pagans during this period of captivity. Interaction with them was intentionally avoided. So, the question “Who is is my neighbor?” was clearly colored with Samaritans in mind in the hopes that they would be in a different category, any category other than “my neighbor”.

The Samaritan in this story saw a man who needed help and sprang into action. He had compassion on the man and bandaged his wounds. He put him on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and cared for him. The next day he gave the innkeeper some money and said, “Look after him … and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.” (Luke 10:35, NIV) This Samaritan is going way above and beyond what was expected!

The clincher comes at the end of the story with another question from Jesus. The answer is too obvious to ignore. We don’t know if the expert in the law liked it or even tried to apply it, but he could not deny it.

“Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”

The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”

Jesus told him (and he tells us today), “Go and do likewise.” (Luke 10:36-37, NIV)

Chances are, our roster of neighbors is comprised of people who look like us. We typically default to safe homogenous environments. Our comfort zone is constructed of those who are similar in appearance and opinions. If we are not careful, our Christian communities can become an isolated sub-culture. We need to get out more! Jesus was described as a friend of sinners. He hung out with people who weren’t like him, people the religious leaders thought he should avoid. Would people describe YOU that way? Who is YOUR Neighbor?

By Tierce Green

I always planned to be the first guy to ask my daughter out on a date and show her how it’s supposed to be done. You know, set the bar really high and eliminate some of the losers in her future. I just didn’t know that day would come so soon. You have all these principles, promises and plans in place but you have to stay flexible, adaptable. Parenting is a moving target and teaching opportunities pop up when you least expect them.

Our daughter, only three-years-old at the time, stood on her tiptoes peeking at a collection of wedding pictures hanging above the chest by our bed. Her eyes grew wide when she recognized her mommy in a wedding dress and her daddy in a tux.

"Mommy, what are those pictures?"

My wife could have simply answered, “those are our wedding pictures” and left it at that, after all, our daughter was only three. But she paused for a moment and responded with what I thought was a perfect answer.

"That's the day Daddy gave me a ring and promised to love me always."

Our daughter paused for a moment as she processed the answer, then moved on to something else. Several days later, there she stood again gazing curiously at our wedding photos.

Same Question: "Mommy, what are those pictures?"

Same Answer: "That's the day Daddy gave me a ring and promised to love me always."

There were a few more exchanges just like that in the days ahead until one day something unexpected happened. She asked the same question, but this time my wife responded to her question with a question.

"Mommy, what are those pictures?"

"What did I tell you they are?"

"That's the day Daddy gave you a ring and promised to love you always."

That was a pretty incredible moment. We hit the target! We succeeded in teaching her the real value behind the pictures. They weren’t just images documenting a wedding event. They were reminders of the day her Daddy made a promise to her Mommy, a promise to love her always. That should be enough, right? But remember, parenting is a moving target. You’ve got to be ready to adjust your aim because it can shift at any moment. And so it did …

"Mommy ... Do you think Daddy will give ME a ring one day?"

It was probably a good thing I wasn’t in the room or I would have broken down and cried like a baby. You see, I’ve been wrapped around her little finger ever since the day she wrapped her tiny hand around my little finger. I had a mission: GET THAT GIRL A RING! But I knew that she not only wanted a ring; she wanted a promise, a promise that I would love her always.

So I made trip to James Avery. I found the perfect little silver ring with a tiny heart on it. Then I asked her out on a date to Johnny Rockets, just the two of us. She gave me a BIG smile and a BIG yes! Her eyes lit up when I told her that she would need to pick out a special dress for the occasion. It was hamburgers, fries and shakes, but this was special—OUR FIRST FATHER-DAUGHTER DATE.

Our waitress pulled out all the stops with balloons, pictures, special attention and special milkshakes. She said it reminded her of some of the dates she experienced with her dad growing up.

After dinner we walked over to the plaza area of Market Street and found a spot next to one of the water fountains. As soon as I revealed the tiny gift bag she knew immediately what it contained. It was a priceless moment.

As I placed the ring on her finger I explained that this ring means three things:

“I promise to love you always no matter what. I promise to always love your Mommy. And most importantly, God will always love you no matter what.”

Every time that ring has been on her finger and people asked her about it, she would tell them exactly what it means.

A year or so after that first-date event, she lost the ring when she took it off to wash her hands at a restaurant. We retraced our steps later with no luck. Well, you know what I did—I made another trip to James Avery! It was really another teaching moment. You see, the ring is just a symbol. She may lose this ring, too. She will definitely outgrow it. But she will never lose or outgrow those three promises.

At this writing, our daughter is eleven-years-old and about to enter sixth grade. The ring is now on a necklace because it no longer fits her finger. Last summer she put her faith in Jesus. Now we have a new context to restate and apply the three promises I made on our first father-daughter date.

By Tierce Green

I’ve only had two breakfast meetings with Mark Norris, but both have gone into enjoyable and inspiring extra innings. This is the guy who is knocking it out of the park with 33 The Series at the Estelle Unit in the Texas State Penitentiary at Huntsville, as well as with the men at Fellowship of Huntsville Church. On this morning, I assumed the two of us would talk about what was happening in the prison or with the men in his church, but Mark is a natural connector and he had something else in mind.

I walked into Dosey Doe Music Cafe and Mark was standing in the entry with a friend whom he had invited to join us. As I approached from the side I could see that this guy was missing his left arm. When introductions were made I extended my hand across his body to shake his right hand, but when he turned I saw that he was missing his right arm as well! It was only awkward for a brief moment. I said, “Dude, you set me up! I could tell you were down one arm, but by the way you were facing I had no idea you were down two!”

Jon Sheptock was born in New Jersey in 1976 with a very unusual affliction—he had no arms and a short right leg. This was too overwhelming for his birthparents, so the evening he was born this precious but unwanted baby boy was turned over to the State. Six months after being placed in foster care, Joanne and Rudy Sheptock adopted Jon. God had led them to create a home where unwanted and disabled children could feel loved, safe and secure. The boy who once had no parents would now have a loving mom and dad plus 33 siblings!

There was a dark side to his journey—the stares, abandonment issues, excruciating self-doubt, and incessant ridicule. In his teenage years, he had a particularly hard time knowing where to fit in. It was in those darkest hours that he began to contemplate suicide. But instead of giving in to hopelessness and fears, Jon put his faith in Jesus. It is truly amazing to see how God has helped him adjust and develop alternative skills to deal with the everyday things of life. These are skills that he teaches to wounded warriors and others with physical challenges. Among so many other things that most of us take for granted, Jon drives a car, feeds himself, opens doors, and can go to the bathroom by himself. Jon and his wife Staci have been married for 17 years. They have three daughters, ages 14, 9, and 7. Jon even learned how to change a diaper with his feet!

As amazing as his physical adaptability is, Jon is so much more than that. His joy, perspective, peace, motivation and winsome spirit in the face of extreme adversity flows from his faith in Jesus. He truly owns Philippians 4:13 (NIV), “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” But he is quick to point out the importance of understanding that promise in the context that it was written, especially the lines just before it. Philippians 4:11-12 (NIV) says, “ … I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” Doing all things through Christ who strengthens me is dependent upon learning to be content, not in circumstances, but in Christ.

Jon is the lead singer of a band called One Percenters. This also happens to be the name of an outlaw motorcycle club, but Jon's band has redeemed it, getting their inspiration from the story Jesus told about the shepherd who left the ninety-nine to find the one that was lost. Jon and his band take the gospel into prisons and other places bringing hope to the hopeless and good news to the lost. With Authentic Manhood Houston, I’m always thinking about equipping and mobilizing men to use 33 The Series and launch groups in the community to help men discover the life they are created to live, specifically challenging them to stop waiting passively for their church or someone else to create something for them to do. Here is Jon who has a legitimate excuse to sit on the sideline and wait to be waited on, but he is fully engaged.

I had breakfast with a couple of champions today. One of them clearly displayed more abilities than disabilities as he skillfully used his left foot to drink from a standard coffee mug, grab his fork to eat an omelette, and pick up a napkin to wipe his mouth. Both of these men are rejecting passivity, accepting responsibility, and courageously leading men. They are investing eternally in prison, in the community, and in their church. We shared stories of God’s love and provision, his grace and forgiveness. We talked about how we must expose more men to the real Jesus. Whatever it takes. No excuses.

By Tierce Green

Developmental psychologists have long been interested in the cause-and-effect links between parenting styles and child development. Psychologist Diana Baumrind identified three styles from her extensive research (1967). Further research by Maccoby and Martin suggested adding a fourth parenting style (1983). Generally speaking there are four parenting styles: permissive, neglectful, authoritarian, and authoritative.

To understand the differences in these four parenting styles, it is helpful to position them in quadrants defined by four coordinates. The top axis point represents parenting that is high in love, and the bottom point represents parenting that is low in love. The far left is low in discipline and instruction. The far right is high in discipline and instruction. The diagram below illustrates where each parenting style operates and how they function.

Starting from the top left quadrant and moving counterclockwise, here are explanations of the four parenting styles:

[1] PERMISSIVE PARENTING is high in love, but low in discipline and instruction. This is quite appealing to some parents because it comes with very few demands. Discipline and instruction are rare. In effect, it allows parents to take on the role of a friend more than that of a parent. According to Baumrind, permissive parents, sometimes referred to as indulgent parents, "are more responsive than they are demanding. They are nontraditional and lenient, do not require mature behavior, allow considerable self-regulation, and avoid confrontation" (1991). In my experience, many parents who are permissive and indulgent grew up in an environment where there were lots of rules and restrictions with little nurturing and communication. Their parents may have loved them deeply but didn’t know how to communicate effectively. Now, as parents themselves, they have determined that love equals leniency. The meter is pegged-out on the extreme left with a version of love where discipline and instruction are virtually absent.

[2] NEGLECTFUL PARENTING is low in love and low in discipline and instruction. These parents are basically uninvolved with few demands, little communication and minimal direction. While they fulfill the child's basic needs, they are generally detached emotionally, socially and spiritually. It's as if two adults just created a baby, accidentally or even intentionally, but with little thought given to the care and nurture required. In extreme cases, these parents neglect or even reject the needs of their children. Proverbs 29:18 (NIV) says, "Where there is no revelation (or vision), people cast off restraint; but blessed is the one who heeds wisdom’s instruction." Without healthy guidelines and proper restraints, children will drift. Without a clear vision they are robbed of the blessing that comes from heeding wise instructions.

[3] AUTHORITARIAN PARENTING is low in love but high in discipline and instruction. Children are expected to follow strict rules with little to no explanation behind the rules. “Because I said so” is a familiar phrase in these environments. The primary goal in this type of parenting is to raise compliant kids, and failure to comply usually results in punishment. According to Baumrind, these parents "are obedience and status oriented, and expect their orders to be obeyed without explanation" (1991). Ephesians 6:4 (NIV) tells us this: "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." Authoritarian parenting is exasperating, even to the point of provoking children to anger. When a follower of Jesus takes an authoritarian stance the collateral damage can be devastating as their representation of our Heavenly Father is twisted into an ugly caricature of a legalistic master.

[4] AUTHORITATIVE PARENTING is both high in love and high in discipline and instruction. Rules and guidelines are clearly established for children to follow, but this type of parenting is more responsive and willing to listen to questions. When children fail to meet expectations, discipline is appropriately applied with love and forgiveness rather than pure punishment. Baumrind suggests that these parents "monitor and impart clear standards for their children’s conduct. They are assertive, but not intrusive and restrictive. Their disciplinary methods are supportive, rather than punitive. They want their children to be assertive as well as socially responsible, and self-regulated as well as cooperative" (1991).

Studies show that the two worst parenting styles are authoritarian and neglectful. Rules without relationship—authoritarian parenting—often leads to rebellion. No rules and no relationship—neglectful parenting—creates a void in a child’s life that leads to a lack of self-control and self-esteem. Both authoritarian and neglectful parenting styles produce children who rank lower in happiness and social competence. Permissive parenting also produces children who rank low in happiness, as well as low in self-regulation, while struggling with authority and performing poorly in school.

THE BEST PARENTING STYLE IS AUTHORITATIVE—high in discipline and instruction but also high in love. This reflects what the Scriptures say in John 1:17 (NIV) “For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.” We have a tendency to swing to extremes with grace on one end and truth on the other. But Jesus didn’t switch off grace to access truth, or switch off truth to access grace. They were always integrated. His presence in us enables us to extend grace and truth to our children even when the circumstances are hard. Discipline, correction and boundaries, as well as love, forgiveness and compassion, are all expressions of grace and truth.

Leading, loving, and relating to our children with an authoritative parenting style—high in love and high in discipline and instruction—is parenting with grace and truth. It’s the way our Heavenly Father leads, loves and relates to us, and it is the way he wants us to parent our children.

by Tierce Green

There are no fashion items or tech-toys on this list. That list is a moving target, constantly changing, being outdated and updated. This list is timeless and essential because it’s compiled by our Heavenly Father who wants to give good gifts to his children. Here it is:

“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.” (Deuteronomy 6:4-9, NIV)

WHAT DOES EVERY CHILD NEED?

[1] A DAD WHO LOVES GOD COMPLETELY.Deuteronomy 6:5 says, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” When Jesus was asked to identify the greatest commandment in Mark 12:28-30, he cited this mandate in Deuteronomy and added “mind” to the list. Kids need a dad who loves God with all his heart having an emotional connection and expression of his devotion to God. A dad who loves God with all his soul, exhibiting a willful expression and application. A dad who loves God with all his mind, mentally submitting his thoughts to God. A dad who loves God with all his strength, physically practicing his devotion to God and disciplining his body for the purpose of godliness. This is the total package! It’s first on the list because everything else flows from it. Everything about this dad is calibrated to loving God completely.

[2] A DAD WHO LOVES GOD’S WORD WHOLEHEARTEDLY.Deuteronomy 6:6 says, “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.” A dad who loves God completely will love God’s Word wholeheartedly. It’s integrated into his life, and he is transformed by it. This dad would say, like David in Psalm 119:72 (NIV), “The law from your mouth is more precious to me than thousands of pieces of silver and gold.” This dad treasures God’s Word.

Jesus said in Matthew 6:21 (NIV), “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” If you want to know if you love God’s Word wholeheartedly just locate your treasure. Our affections lie where our investments lie. What we treasure will either be an asset or a liability to our leadership. Treasuring God’s Word and loving it wholeheartedly produces satisfying fruit in our own lives and collateral blessings for our children.

[3] A DAD WHO LEADS HIS CHILDREN INTENTIONALLY.Deuteronomy 6:7 says, “Impress them on your children.” This is a dad who accepts responsibility to lead and train his children. He doesn’t defer to his wife, the school, or the church. He doesn’t stand by passively. He initiates. He steps into the hard things and makes an impression with God’s truth that he treasures in his heart.

As we lead our children intentionally, we must know the difference in impressing and oppressing. Ephesians 6:4 (NIV) says, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Don’t provoke them to anger. Legalistic leadership is oppressive. It’s demotivating and disheartening.

Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” The implication of the original Hebrew text is to train them up “according to their bent.” A wise father studies his children to identify how God has wired them. If you have two or three children you have probably observed that each one is “bent” differently. Our mission is to help them live under God’s will according to their unique design, to encourage them and create an environment where they can flourish, not to impose our will on them by trying to bend them in another direction.

[4] A DAD WHO SPEAKS GOD’S TRUTH FREELY.Deuteronomy 6:7 (NIV) says, “Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Jesus said in Luke 6:45 (NIV), “The mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” You don’t have to force it out, because it flows out. If you love God completely and love God’s Word wholeheartedly, you will speak about it freely.

Remember that you are talking with them, not at them. It should be a dialogue, not a monologue. What will you talk about? Anything and everything! Cultivate the kind of relationship with your children where they know they can safely discuss anything with you. Work on your poker face. Our kids are capable of some very bad things because we are their parents, and we are capable of some very bad things. They inherited their sin nature from us.

Tim Kimmel, author and founder of Family Matters, says that a grace-based dad gives his kids the freedom to be different, to be vulnerable, to be candid, and to make mistakes. We are simply treating our kids the way God treats us. In order to do this we must connect with their heart, not just their behavior. Our mission is not to raise compliant children who won’t embarrass us. Our hope for them is not behavior modification but transformation. (From 33 The Series, Vol. 6: A Man and His Fatherhood, Session 2)

[5] A DAD WHO STANDS GUARD COURAGEOUSLY.Deuteronomy 6:8-9 (NIV) says, “Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.” This became a literal practice in Jewish tradition. The mezuzah—a small piece of parchment usually containing the line from Deuteronomy 6:4: “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one” was folded or rolled, placed in a small case, and attached to the right side of the doorway of a home at shoulder height. Tradition dictated that it be placed within 30 days of moving into a new home. Phylacteries are small leather boxes that contain portions of The Law of Moses. Boxes are strapped to the wrist and to a sort of headband so that one literally carries the laws of God over his eyes and on his hands.

But hold on before you start hanging mezuzahs and wearing phylacteries. Jesus mentions how some were missing the point in this practice in Matthew 23:5 (NIV): “Everything they do is done for people to see: They make their phylacteries wide … ” Our application of this principle is clearly more than hanging a plaque that says “As for me and my house we will serve the Lord” and wearing a vintage WWJD bracelet from the nineties.

Every child needs a dad who will stand guard over them wearing the full armor of God: the belt of truth, breastplate of righteousness, shoes of the gospel of peace, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, and the Sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God. A dad on a pathway toward authentic manhood knows how to wield the Sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God. He has a practical working knowledge of it. He loves it wholeheartedly, impressing it on his children, speaking about it freely in regular meaningful conversations. And, he teaches his children how to wear this armor because he knows that they must learn how to fight! He knows that we’re not raising safe kids, we’re raising strong kids.

I didn't have a dad who provided these 5 must haves for me. He was absent from my life when he was alive, and he died when I was only ten-years-old. I grew up with a single mom, but looking back on my childhood experience even before I put my faith in Jesus, I can see how God provided these things through father figures strategically placed in my path, and directly from his Word when I finally decided to follow Jesus. Regardless of your experience as a son, let's make the choice as dads to provide these 5 things for our children.

By Tierce Green

These two little words are like conversational Teflon. Nothing sticks. The tough questions are deflected enabling you to continue down the same path without being bothered. You can hide a lot of unpleasant stuff behind “I’m fine” … the fears and frustrations in your career, the dysfunctions in your marriage and family, a crisis of faith, even your addictions—at least for a while. It’s like using a bandaid to cover a gaping wound.

Why are we so reluctant to reveal what’s really going on in our life? It's as if we think we are all alone in our struggles and no one would understand, but that's not true. To one degree or another, we all struggle with the same things. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”

We have a common enemy and common struggles. That’s what the Scriptures say. In Tender Warrior, Stu Weber writes: “So everything that’s killing you is somewhere in the chest of every man you know.” Realizing we are not alone can be the beginning of more substantive conversations and more meaningful relationships.

Here are three things that can help:

[1] Substantive conversations don’t typically take place in a foyer or a hallway. We need to carve out time and space allowing enough margin around it to keep our minds from drifting to our next meeting.

[2] We need to unplug from technology so we are not distracted by the fondling of our mobile devices. Keep it in your pocket or in your briefcase, not on the table.

[3] We need to listen, really listen, with care and compassion. Agendas are helpful in a business meeting, but a mechanical checklist can be harmful in a relational context, especially if the conversation feels more like an interrogation. Most guys will shut down. Deflecting with “I’m fine” is understandable.

These things require time and practice, but it’s absolutely worth the effort and the investment. In my experience, the best conversations happen within the context of trustworthy friendships that have been cultivated with care and camaraderie. Don’t settle for the usual. Don’t default to “I’m fine!”

By Tierce Green

It was the catch phrase used by James “Clubber” Lang in Rocky III. Sylvester Stallone created the character as the primary antagonist of the film. Clubber Lang was played by Lawrence Tureaud, popularly known as Mr. T.

I Pity the Fool became a short-lived American reality television series starring Mr. T originally airing on TV Land. The series featured Mr. T traveling from town to town solving problems, teaching individuals some basic life-skill principles, but mainly giving advice about team spirit. The show lasted for six episodes with the titles Motivation, Trust, Unity, Respect, Leadership, and Communication.

I don’t know how spiritual it is, but I always think of Mr. T when I read this:

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, NIV)

PITY THE FOOL WHO LIVES LIFE DISCONNECTED FROM OTHER MEN.Here are three reasons why:

[1] Living life disconnected from other men is foolish. The timeless wisdom of God’s Word says “pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” Pity the fool who thinks “I’ve got this! I don’t need anyone’s help!” Pity the fool who keeps others at a safe distance, concealing their true identity, hiding behind a persona of control, skilled at spinning circumstances to give the appearance of having it all together. Pity the fool who has a variety of mentors who give advice about his career decisions, even about his practice of spiritual disciplines, but who have limited access to his character and personal relationships.

[2] Living life disconnected from other men is dangerous. Proverbs 14:12 and Proverbs 16:25 both give the same warning: “There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death.” We see things differently when we are isolated from others. The rules don’t seem to apply, so we write our own. When our perspective is the only perspective our vision is limited, and we can talk ourselves into anything. It seems right, but God’s Word warns us that it can lead to death.

[3] Living life disconnected from other men is destined for failure. Proverbs 15:22 says, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” I have learned that all of us are smarter than any one of us. We need to get out more, to really listen and learn from others who are not exactly like us. Life is hard when you think you’re the smartest person in the room, when you think your experience is everyone’s experience. Who are your advisers? Is there a healthy variety in the counsel you subscribe to? Do you have men who will speak honestly to you, even disagree with you when necessary, or do you surround yourself with yes men who give you little more than approval?

I pity the fool who looks to his left and to his right and finds no one to help him up or no one to help up when either of them falls. Lending a hand or needing a hand is mutually beneficial. Living life connected, helping and being helped, is how God designed us. We need each other.

By Tierce Green

Intelligent guys are very good at it. So are religious guys. But intelligent religious guys probably do it best. Blowing smoke—saying things in a way that conceals the truth. Like modern day Pharisees, they know enough of the Bible and have enough opinions about it to maintain a certain image, a smoke screen to hide who they really are.

A few years ago I became aware of a man in our church who was having an affair. As it turned out, he was a regular at our seasonal men’s gathering that we called The Quest. When I lead groups like this, I automatically assume that any man who joins me on a journey toward authentic manhood has given me permission to exercise accountability. So, I gave him a call and asked if he was coming to The Quest that night. He said he was. Then I asked if instead of going to his discussion group after the session if we could get together and talk. He asked me what this was about, and I told him straight up. He was surprisingly very agreeable to meet with me.

After the session that night he shared a painful story of a five-year marriage where his wife was not meeting his needs, how she didn’t respect him, and how she didn’t respond to his leadership. I told him I understood how that made him a prime target for an affair. I reminded him of what I had taught in The Quest about the needs of men and women, and when those needs were not met in a marriage relationship that it creates a vacuum where we are more susceptible to having an affair. I said I understood how he got to where he was, but that didn’t let him off the hook. I made it clear that what he was doing was selfish and sinful.

I asked if he had trusted anyone else with what he had just revealed to me, specifically any of the men he knew in The Quest. He said he hadn’t. I said, “So, you’ve been attending regularly and listening to me teach, and we’ve covered all of this and you know it.” I asked him if he participated in the group discussions. He said he did. When I asked him what he talked about, he said, “Mostly I just share my opinion about what you say.”

I gave him a strong warning. I explained that he was without excuse and that according to the Scriptures he should expect to be disciplined by God because God disciplines those he loves. He tried to rationalize his choices by saying that his wife no longer made him happy. He believed God wanted him to be happy and this other woman made him happy. For those reasons he asked if I would pray that God’s discipline would be bearable for him. I said, “Are you kidding me? Absolutely not! I cannot ask God to go against his Word—to ignore the sanctity of marriage and soften his stance against adultery.” I wanted to punch this guy’s lights out! I promised him I would ask God to do whatever was required to bring repentance and restoration to his marriage.

I wish I could tell you that this man responded with brokenness and humility, that things turned around. But he didn’t. He began to distance himself from me and other men who would tell him the truth. He bailed out—out of The Quest and out of his marriage. He even left the state and ran into his relationship with the other woman. Instead of this becoming a story of repentance, forgiveness and restoration, it became a cautionary tale.

Smoke blowers thrive on the opinion level of conversations. Without transparency, vulnerability and accountability, Bible Study discussion groups can be a breeding ground for men like this—men who have a lot to say about the Bible, giving the appearance of having it all together, while concealing systemic flaws like arrogance, anger, dishonesty, immorality, selfishness, self-righteousness and an entitlement complex. The questions we should be asking are not “What did you think about the sermon?” or “What do you think this Bible passage means?” The bigger questions are “Where and how does this apply to your life? How and when will you respond to it?”

Too many of us wait until things become so hopelessly unraveled that we frantically try to orchestrate a Hail Mary pass in the final seconds of the game in the hopes of a miraculous comeback. Sharing our heart with a trustworthy friend early in the game before things reached a critical point could have avoided the need for such desperate measures.

Is God able to rescue us when things seem hopeless? Can he turn our darkest night into light? Of course! Whenever we turn from sin and to God we will always find grace and forgiveness. But sometimes the collateral damages of our choices can’t be repaired. We cannot control how others who were affected by our choices will respond.

How about you? Who do you have that you can trust with your heart? Do you share who you really are, or do you just share your opinions and hide behind the smoke you blow?

By Tierce Green

Surface talk with surface friends punctuated by thumbs-up and smiley face emojis. Chitchat, which Merriam-Webster defines as “friendly conversation about things that are not very important.” How do we move beyond these ankle-deep acquaintances and develop real community with substantive conversations and more satisfying relationships in the deep end of true brotherhood?

In the classic book Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am? John Powell walks us through five degrees of communication. Getting to the fourth and fifth degree is where we leave the shallows and begin to experience the depths of true brotherhood.

The first degree is the CLICHÉ level. Bull shooting. Elevator talk. “How’s it going?” without wanting to know how it’s really going. “What do you think about this weather?” “How ‘bout them Texans ... Astros ... Rockets ... etc.?” You can have conversations like that with total strangers, if you want to call them conversations. They’re completely benign, low-risk exchanges with no real connections. Just cliché’s.

The second degree is the FACT level. Communication for a lot of guys is nothing more than transactional drive-bys. They tell themselves and others, “That’s how we get things done around here. Things move so fast, we don’t have time to exchange our feelings.” More often than not, it’s a matter of never taking the time rather than a time deficit. Facts reveal what you know, but they do little to reveal who you are. In fact, you can have a lot of exchanges like this and still keep people at a safe distance, never letting them in.

The third degree is the OPINION level. This degree of communication can be deceptive for you and others because it appears to be deep conversation, but your heart can stay hidden behind your opinions. This is especially true with discussions about the Bible. The big questions are not “What did you think about the sermon?” or “What do you think the this Bible passage means?” Don’t stop there. Keep going and ask the deeper questions: “What does this mean to me?” “How does it intersect with my life?” “How and when will I respond to it?”

You may enjoy many robust discussions with other philosophers like yourself who love to share their opinions, too. It’s cathartic, even energizing in the moment, but on the opinion level you are primarily sharing what you think, not who you are. You still play your cards close to the vest and keep people at a safe distance. You can’t experience true brotherhood on opinions alone.

The fourth degree of communication is the EMOTIONAL level. At this level you’re conveying your hopes and fears, your disappointments and defeats. Now you’re beginning to reveal who you are in your heart. A lot of men never reach this level because our default, which springs from our sin nature, is to think “I’ve got this! I don’t need anybody’s help.”

Sometimes a warped view of spirituality makes us think, “If I was really a good Christian, I wouldn’t have thoughts or feelings like this.” But that’s a lie. The Bible is filled with exhortations to humble ourselves; to speak truthfully, and encourage one another because life is hard. It exposes the disappointments and struggles many of the prophets and warriors like David wrestled with. It even reveals the deep emotions of Jesus at the graveside of his friend Lazarus and in the Garden of Gethsemane where he prayed and wrestled with his feelings the night before his crucifixion.

The fifth degree of communication is the TRANSPARENCY level. Transparency is very raw and powerful. It’s the freedom, the trust and the safety to get gut honest with another man. It invites accountability, and correction if needed. And it’s reciprocated. It moves backward and forward. It makes us better men. When you practice it with a true friend, you will find that friend increasingly drawn to you rather than driven away.

You can’t just flip a switch and start communicating with transparency and vulnerability to someone you just met or barely know. Be smart. Rather, be wise and build trustworthy relationships that will move toward deeper levels of transparency. These relationships are more than acquaintances and lightyears beyond Facebook friends. They transcend time and space, seasons and circumstances. If you have just a few relationships like this—even one—you are truly rich.

By Tierce Green

From the mid-1930s to the late 1940s C.S. Lewis met with a group of literary friends every Tuesday and Thursday in an Oxford pub to enjoy good beer and good conversation. They discussed literature, writing, and life. Their pub, the Eagle and Child, is still there today. It was in this this environment within this circle of friends that heavyweight works like Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings, and Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia were forged.

C.S. Lewis and his friends made a habit of swimming in the deep. You can feel the depth of their encounters in his description of their friendship:

“In a perfect friendship, this Appreciative love is, I think, often so great and so firmly based that each member of the circle feels, in his secret heart, humbled before all the rest … Especially when the whole group is together, each bringing out all that is best, wisest, or funniest in all the others. Those are the golden sessions; when four or five of us after a hard day’s walking have come to our inn; when our slippers are on, our feet spread toward the blaze and our drinks are at our elbows; when the whole world, and something beyond the world, opens itself to our minds as we talk; and no one has any claim on or any responsibility for another, but all are freemen and equals as if we had first met an hour ago, while at the same time an Affection mellowed by the years enfolds us. Life—natural life—has no better gift to give. Who could have deserved it?” (C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves)

You can almost hear the crackling of the fire; you can feel the warmth of that room and taste the depth of their friendship. They made each other better when they were together. That’s what the wisdom of the Scriptures says in Proverbs 27:17 (NIV), “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” True brotherhood. Face to face. Man to man. Iron on iron.

How do you know if you are swimming in the deep of true brotherhood or just splashing around in the shallows? Here are two INDICATORS to identify where you are now and two REQUIREMENTS to get you where you need to be:

INDICATORS

[1] TRUE BROTHERHOOD SHARPENS YOU. In other words,your friendships are making you a better man, like iron sharpening iron. Men need other men to challenge them and bring out the best in them. Men need environments where permission is given and understood—a circle of trust where advice and accountability are welcome. As men, we still need to choose our friends wisely. Proverbs 13:20 (NIV) says, “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.”

It goes without saying that there are significant differences in male relationships and female relationships. Sociologists have observed that for the most part men’s friendships revolve around activities while women’s revolve around sharing.I don’t need a sociologist to tell me that. Guys are action figures! We get stuff done! We don’t need to “share.” The less “sharing” we do, the better, right? But that’s not true. Men were created for deep relationships with other men.

We cannot be the men we are designed to be if we are disconnected from other men. Left to ourselves we start writing our own rules. Left alone we can talk ourselves into anything. Proverbs 14:12 (NIV) says, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.” Isolated from other men, we won’t know what hit us.

[2] TRUE BROTHERHOOD CONNECTS ON A SOUL LEVEL. Jonathan and David had that kind of connection. Both were warriors. Both had stepped up at critical times when the Israelites were bullied and intimidated by the Philistines. When the Israelites needed something to ignite their courage, Jonathan and his armor bearer walked right into the enemy’s garrison and killed about twenty men in hand-to-hand combat. Later, David would stand up against Goliath and become one of Israel’s greatest warriors. Jonathan and David had a connection so strong and deep that 1 Samuel 18:1 (NASB) describes it like this: “ … the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as himself.” Do you have a healthy God-designed soul level connection with another man like that?

REQUIREMENTS

[1] TRUE BROTHERHOOD REQUIRES HONESTY, TRUST AND VULNERABILITY. Most men settle for having a golfing buddy or a fishing buddy. They don’t feel the need to be vulnerable. Guys can talk about cars, football, real estate and business but never connect on a soul level of honesty, trust, and vulnerability. Some guys think they have to conjure up some practical reason for picking up the phone and calling another man. That’s part of the myth that says, “I don’t have any emotional needs that I can’t handle by myself.” Author David Smith writes:

“The message is clear. The independent man doesn’t feel he needs the company of other men. Therefore, men must manufacture non-emotional reasons for being together. A business deal must be discussed or a game must be played. Rarely do men plan a meeting together simply because they have a need to enjoy each other’s company. Even when men are frequently together, their social interaction begins and remains at a superficial level. The same male employees can have lunch together for years and still limit their conversations to sports, politics, dirty jokes, and comments about the sexual attractiveness of selected female workers in their office or plant.” (David W. Smith, The Friendless American Male)

[2] TRUE BROTHERHOOD REQUIRES TIME AND PRACTICE. Lots of practice! There is no such thing as microwave manhood. You can’t just flip a switch or push a button. And no one will just hand you the time. Stop waiting on someone else to find you friends. Accept responsibility. Carve out the time, and put it on the calendar. Practice, practice, practice.

If you’re married, practice sharing your emotions with your wife first. It will make your marriage better and prime the pump for soul connections with other men. Learn from others who already do it well. Read the Psalms of David and see how honest and vulnerable he was in the way he worshiped God.

Take off your floaties and leave the shallows. Discover true brotherhood in the deep end of authentic manhood. You can’t REALLY LIVE without it.

By Tierce Green

I love my pressure washer. It has an easy start gas engine with 3400 PSI. That’s really more power than I need, but it feels good to know it’s there. I have one of the cleanest driveways in the neighborhood—just one of the cleanest because my neighbors love my pressure washer, too.

Jesus introduced his disciples to a different kind of power washing.

In the three years they had been together, the disciples had front row seats to the power of Jesus. They were in the boat when he walked on water and when he calmed the storm. They had seen him heal the sick and raise the dead, even cast out demons. He had empowered them to feed thousands with a few loaves and fishes.

On the night of his arrest, they shared a last meal together. In the next twenty-four hours their lives would be turned upside down in the chaos of his crucifixion, but in the days ahead, God would use them to turn the world upside down as they stood in the power of his resurrection.

Jesus was about to do something very personal for his disciples, an object lesson they would never forget. Around the intimacy of this table he showed his disciples the power of his love—not just what love is, but what love does. He used one of their customs, something they could relate to.

[John 13:4-5, NIV]… so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.

This was so unexpected, so provocative. It seemed ridiculous and inappropriate. This was something a servant would do, not a master. Peter openly objected.

[John 13:6-8, NIV]He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?”Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”“No,” said Peter, “you shall never wash my feet.”Jesus answered, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.”“Then, Lord,” Simon Peter replied, “not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!”

Peter was all over the map! He really didn’t get it, not until later. I think it caught them all off guard, but it took them to a place they had not yet been in order to help them experience the depth of God’s love.

God wants us to do that—to take people to a place where they can experience the depth of his love. To go beyond what is expected and show others what the redeeming love of God looks like. Jesus did that with a towel and a basin of water. It was disarming and powerful. It left a mark.

The men in the room didn’t deserve it. They would all scatter when Jesus was arrested. When Jesus had Peter’s feet in his hands, he knew that Peter would deny him three times. As he was washing the feet of Judas, he knew that his mind was already made up to betray him.

THINK ABOUT IT. Who in your life has denied you, or deserted you, or betrayed you? If you were in the same room with them with a basin of water in your hands, would you use it to wash their feet or would you throw it in their face? Are they less deserving than the disciples who deserted Jesus? Are they less deserving than Peter who denied Jesus? Are they any less deserving than Judas who betrayed Jesus?

WHAT ABOUT YOU? Do you deserve to have your feet washed by Jesus? If he was kneeling at your stinky bare feet right now with a towel wrapped around his waste and a basin of water in his hands, would you be thinking: “Well, it’s about time. I deserve this.”

The truth is, by God’s standard, none of us deserve it.

[Romans 3:10-12 NIV]… There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one.

None of us measure up. We are his church not because we deserve it, but because he went beyond what was expected and sacrificed his Son Jesus for us.

[Romans 5:8, NIV]But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

It’s really important that we get that “while we were still sinners” part. God didn’t wait for us to clean up our act. He showed us what his redeeming love looks like “while we were still sinners.” We stand on his grace, not on how good we are. We stand on his promises, not on our performance. Someone said, “That oughta humble the hell out of all of us!”

As Jesus washed their feet he knew they would all initially flake out, but he also knew that eleven of The Twelve would circle back and do great things in the power of the Holy Spirit. Most of them would die a martyr’s death. Washing their feet had a pretty good return on his investment. For all but one—Judas. So, why did Jesus wash his feet? He could have skipped over him and called him out. But, he didn’t. He still demonstrated his love for Judas.

God offers his grace to everyone. Many will receive it. Many won’t. Our mission is to extend it to everyone with no strings attached.

[Luke 6:35, NIV]“... love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.”

Don’t expect to get anything back, but your reward will be great? That’s not a contradiction. Jesus is saying don’t expect a reward from those you are serving. Go into it with no strings attached. Hold out for a greater reward—God’s reward.

After washing his disciple’s feet, Jesus said:

[John 13:15-17, NIV]“I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you … Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.”

KNOWING + DOING = BLESSING. Jesus promised that we will be blessed if we take what we know and do it. If we practice what God tells us we can always count on his blessing. However, the blessing may not come in the package we prefer. Don't reduce God to a personal need-meeter or concierge. The Scriptures teach us that our faith is strengthened through struggles. That’s where some of God’s greatest blessings are found.

Before you pick up a towel and start washing feet you should check your motive. It’s quite possible that your circumstances may not change. But, one thing is for sure: You will change. That’s a blessing you can count on.

Look for ways to go beyond what is expected to those who don’t deserve it, and expect nothing in return. It’s provocative. It’s unusual. But, when we do it right, it’s disarming, and sometimes it’s irresistible.