go to the ones you want, but wait until you hear from the 1st friend and then decide.

as for the gifts, what someone else spent on your DS should have absolutely NO bearing on what you spend on someone else's kid! You spend what you want/can. I used to spend about $15-20 on my kids' friends b-day gifts, even though, in my old life, I could have spent more if I desired. Now, my financial situation is much different. My next door neighbor has a son the same age as my 2 yr old. For DS b-day, they gave him some very nice gifts (prob $15-20) and when it was her DS' party, I had to really scrimp and I spent about $5. But I asked her what he liked and with that info, he got a dollar store fireman's hat and a playground ball. I put it in a canvas tote that I already had and I tie dyed it and put his name on it. Everything was a big hit! I think trying to match values of presents is pointless. People don't know each other's financial situations or choices (you can be loaded and not choose to spend a lot on other people's kids or really struggling.)