Tuesday, 1 November 2016

An open letter to the girl who broke her own heart...

Hey, just like you even I didn’t want to take responsibility for the fact that maybe, just maybe, I had a small role in my heartbreak. But just like you, somewhere deep down, I knew that I did.

Now you, just like me, began breaking your own heart a long time before you even met the guy who did it for you. You began this self-destructive process many, many years ago. It started with a few innocent romantic comedies in which most of the women tended to go for jerks that ended up turning a new leaf or even if they didn’t, a knight in shining armour turned up to save them. You have practically been raised to ‘catch a man’ and fall in love. How could you not? It’s all that seems to happen in the movies and shows you watch, it’s all any of your friends seem to be able to talk about, it’s all that’s being told to you by the commercials you watch and thanks to all this conditioning, it’s all you try to do in life as well.

I know you’re probably shaking your head in horror and thinking that: No, you do not do anything to catch the attention of guys. I was the exact same. But when you really, actually think about it, isn’t that exactly what you are doing?

You try to lose weight because society tells you that’s what’s needed to get a boys interest.

You wear certain clothes to get your crush to look at you.

You try the latest makeup trends so that when you are out at a bar that Saturday night, some guy sits up and takes notice.

When you really, truly think about it, most of the ‘cool’ things you are doing are to catch a guy’s interest. And no, you do not need to feel bad about it; every single girl has practically been raised to think that all they need to do is get a guy interested in them. The fault doesn’t rest with you, it rests with society.

Then enters the guy who will actually end up breaking your heart. He’ll be charming, he’ll be flirtatious, he’ll be complimentary and you will simply be naïve. You’ll take every sweet word he utters to you as a sign that he’s into you while he might not even have put a second thought into saying those words.

You will analyse every single message, every single look and every single word uttered by him. You will end up driving yourself crazy and build a small flirtation-ship into something big, within your head. Why wouldn’t you? It’s all you have been conditioned to do.

If you are someone who has already had her heart broken, you have probably learnt the lesson that I did. If you are someone who is continuously building things up in her head, this is for you:

Do not let him consume you.

Do not wait up for his messages.

Do not forget that you are the primary person in your life.

Do not jump to conclusions.

Do not over-analyse every single thing he does.

Do not, for heaven’s sake, keep on breaking your own heart.

Written bySanaa MehraAvid reader who will read anything thrown her way (provided that its fiction), Grammar Nazi to the T and a Lover of anything made by Bollywood (I mean anything.) If you're feeling sentimental, here I am!