Republican and Democratic leaders today proposed an immediate state legislature session to reinflate the collapsed Metrodome with hot air coming from session debates. “This joint commitment shows how normally divisive political operatives can get together to solve a problem more serious to all Minnesotans than fishing licenses and budget deficits,” State Representative Norman Normal remarked. “And we have enough hot air to first melt the snow on the sunken dome roof, then cause it to rise back into place.”

Minnesota Governor-elect Mark Dayton, however, has a different idea how to accomplish the same task: he commented that this is just another example of big government at work. His solution is to simply use the members of the Tom Emmer vote recount operation, who number somewhat less than both houses of the Minnesota State Legislature, who Dayton says have even more hot air in them.

“This is my opportunity,” Dayton noted,” to show how the job can get done with less government.”

Steeply downward economy causes people to adopt extremely minimal lifestyles and forsake materialism. Mall of America loses 99% of shopper purchases in one week. Carloads of people bring excess belongings, many formerly purchased at MOA, to dump them off at Mall of America. The entire place becomes a landfill dump and cynics rename it “Maw of America.”

Wikleaks announces, despite extensive searches, that they can find no juicy secrets about historic preservation to expose to the public. Historic preservationists become alarmed.

City of Minneapolis privatizes Mayor RT Rybak.

Developer purchases entire city of Eden Prairie to convert it into a replica of the Gull Lake area.

Developer purchases entire body of water of Lake Vermillion and shoreline to convert it into a replica of Lake Minnetonka area.