Wednesday, October 31, 2007

I always wonder this. I consider October to be my favorite month of the year. I've thought about this a good deal, and if you keep the things we associate with each month out of it and only factor in the environment, it's number #1 for me. I love the feel- the leaves, the colors...Halloween, but that's one of those things of course. Halloween's today. It always sneaks up out of nowhere and every year it's the same. Mid-September comes and the retail stores start putting out their Halloween items. I get excited...absurdly excited actually. My reaction upon seeing gigantic rats and dripping blood wall decorations is like that of a 5 year old when he first gets a puppy. I love the stuff and the thought that I can just walk into a store and buy a sack full of imitation shrunken heads, no questions asked. It's completely normal. About a month ago I bought a skull stress ball that is filled with fake blood and bugs. Therefore when you squeeze it, the gooze bubbles out of its eye sockets. That is brilliant. I will present anyone who doesn't love this time of year with this wonderful toy. They won't dare to question it anymore. What...you say June is superior to October? What can you buy in June...a pool noodle? A noodle? What about a motion activated hand stuck in the middle of a blood fountain? Hmm? What reigns superior?

So come late September early October I am a ball of joy. These ridiculous items are appearing in stores, the weather stops being so blistering hot, and the leaves are on the verge of of their colorful cathartic deaths. Then mid October comes. Mid-terms. I'm forced to ignore everything but books for a period of 2 weeks, right when it's prime October- the leaves at their most lovely. I feel like I miss the world during this period. This year it was especially heavy, given a history exam I spent what should have been a fantastic October weekend where I fully embrace everything the month has to offer studying my eyes off. For nothing too. Grrrr. Mid-terms come and go, and when they're finally gone, the month is winding down and I've fallen off the metaphorical hayride that I was so excited about at the month's start. (Speaking of hayrides, it's been much too long since I've been on one. 10 years maybe? Shit.. where can I do that?) By this time I don't even know how to hop back on. Watch horror movies? It's Halloween and I have no plans. If I controlled the world, I would make the school year run during the summer and have the 3 months of vacation be October, November, and December. There's something I love about these months... how I find it so much more difficult to concentrate on necessities like school work during these rather than in the summer (Summer courses are no big deal in my eyes.) I want a huge Fall vacation. I want hayrides, haunted labyrinths, apple picking, costumes, cider, pumpkins...

Pumpkins! I never even got a pumpkin this year. Halloween of 2005 I didn't get a pumpkin. I promised myself I'd carve a pumpkin the next year. When I say I'm going to do something, I will do it, so I did carve a pumpkin last year- a fantastic wolf one to be exact. I did nothing this year. Fuckkk. Halloween's not over yet. What can I do?

Monday, October 29, 2007

Friday was fantastic. Amazing. Wonderful. I was the happiest I've been in quite a while. At least since the of Montreal show. Coincidently tonight I saw a show. It can then be inferred that great shows = happiness for Matt.

So before the show Dave came down from Assumption and we jammed (though I hate that word, that's what we did) for a while before going to Moe's and a carwash. We recorded a few versions of a song I wrote entitled Lonesome Seal. We're still working it out. After that we went down to the Grind to help setup for the Uncle Monsterface show that night. The show- completely blew my expectations off the wall. For a completely obscure band, they had an amazing show. It was kinda like Gwar, with over the top costumes and skit segues between songs, but rather than sinister it was joyous. They began with a sound check song, a song about the soundchecking, then segueing into a cover of Madonna's "Like a Prayer" which the entire venue danced to. I loved how they played the show like it was packed, despite only about 30 - 40 in attendance. There was a projection screen set up that they interacted with in perfect time, as well as used for a screen for Super Mario Bros, inviting an audience member to play while they performed a song with all their energy focused on him. Let's see... there also was "pass the animal," throwing inflatable animals around the venue and trying to keep them afloat during the entire song. Lastly we got a dance contest with a dance-o-meter and then went up on stage to dance with various props for the last song. So awesome. After the show I went over to Joe's for a party which the band also was at. Really cool guys. The party was fun...I went out out my shell and danced...a lot. I cannot resist "Take on Me." ...and the Unicorns! Of course.

Saturday and Sunday I practically didn't leave my dorm. Actually I only left my room on Saturday to pee and head downstairs to pick up the Chinese I ordered. I need to stop doing this. My back really hurt from Friday night though so the least thing I wanted to do on Saturday night was roam around Clark. I was kinda depressed that night and went to bed at 11 pm. Absurd, I know. I then woke up around 2am, really tense and sweating. Not sure why...that usually doesn't happen to me. I took a shower and then went back to bed. 12 hours of sleep that night. I woke up feeling great.... a fantastic night's sleep is a powerful thing. Sunday...I did a lot of work, as I did Saturday afternoon. Nothing much else of interest.

Today's Monday. Boring day. But get this!! I got a Morrissey ticket for $20 for his show tomorrow!! Fuck this no music thing for this blog...it's impossible. I'll be excited for that, despite how I'm just a little discontent now. I hesitate too much.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

In Spanish today we went around the room saying how old we were- a way to practice higher numbers.

Well we start going around the room (sitting with desks in a circular formation) and it's 19 after 19. Ten people in a row say 19. I then break the 19 chain with my 20 years. THEN then next person is 20, then 21, 20, 22, and etc, the oldest person being 24 (no wonder he knows so much extra vocabulary.) I could not get over how bizarre this was today...how people of a similar age were seated next to each other and didn't even know it. Maybe a bizarre coincidence...or maybe we feel most comfortable with people who appear to be our own age. But even when it's just off by one year? No way. Crazy.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

OiNK has died. over the last two years of my life, my taste in music has expanded at an absurd rate due to this resource. it exposed me to post-punk, krautrock, obscure psychedelic acts and incredibly rare recordings that I would have never discovered without it.

when i woke up and the news of the site being shut down was made known, it was like someone i knew had died. it sounds extreme, but oink was such a community- it really was one of the most important tools that shaped who I became over the past few years.

i don't want to get into music downloading and the ethics here... i do feel like its important to support the artists and i'll always purchase something if i like it enough. however the guiding force in making an album should be the music itself, not the money that comes out of it. imo no truly great albums can be made if their main existence is an a commodity. not real. no good. people who make music should be happy anyone's listening at all. someone else taking time of out of their lives to focus your attention on something you made? it's an honor, really. there's so many bands out there. so many great bands. more shitty bands. but if you're a band at all, people listening to you isn't a right that's granted upon formation, it's a privilege if it comes at all.

all in all, i'm sad that i no longer have the opportunity to preview basically any album in my wildest dreams before shelling out for it. i've bought way too many terrible albums in my life and they take up valuable closet space. you know how many albums i've sold back that i've bought within the past 3 or 4 years? maybe a handful, no more. what about the OOP albums that i can't even buy!? how would i have heard the feelies without OiNK?! my life without the feelies... oh no.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Friday, October 19, 2007

For how badly this week began, it wasn't a bad week overall. Okay, it definitely had its moments of suck...and some moments of heavy suck, but I feel satisfied right now.

I'm no longer taking European Roots- or I won't be as of very soon. The test went horribly and really, I'm getting nothing out of the class. I was completely devastated when he returned it. I worked for days preparing for that test, literally, and my time was completely wasted. I could rant on and on about it, but I've over it now. I never want to go through I class like that again...I was completely numb and couldn't even look at the guy. I have no clue how I made it through. Still, it's done and over and that is great. GREAT.

The majority of what I did from Tuesday through Thursday was my Qualitative Observation portfolio. It was 16 pages when I finished. I was pleased with it, and did well on all the individual portfolio checks so I'm not worried. But please come back okay...pleaseeee. This week was not good for returned work, despite there only being one piece.

I'll most likely be getting my own radio show soon. I'm really excited about that. I'm intending to do a Post-punk/ College Rock show. Very cool.

Also..I've taken a liking to someone...and I think I might do something about it soon. It's a little awkward though as this week I was between a conversation involving her and a conflict with another guy. It put me in a strange, conflicted place. I don't know what to do. I wouldn't want to make the situation worse for either.

Either I didn't set my alarm last night or I woke up, turned it off, and went back to sleep, remembering nothing. I woke up at 10:50- exactly when my 10 AM class ends. I first thought it was Saturday, but then remembered I was going home this weekend. Then maybe I was in class? But wait...there's no alarm clock in my Spanish class! Shit. It sucked. We have a test Monday. Still, she gave the topics Wednesday but I could have used some review or whatever we did today. Arrrrg. I hate it when class skipping isn't previously approved by my brain.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

You know when you have such a great day that it makes the following days an absolute hell? That's what it was like for me this Friday. of Montreal was absolutely brilliant live, four times better than they were at the Avalon during January of this year. One of the best shows I've ever been to. Now exactly why am I such a mess at this moment?

I have two evil canker sores in my mouth. I've never had them this bad before... they both are in the corner insides of my lip, right where both halves meet and form. One is tiny, about the size of a BB, while the other is massive- a centimeter long. I can't even sleep on my right side because of it because even the pressure from my pillow feels like someone is shoving a needle through my cheek. Eating is even worse...I ate a salad a few days ago and the dressing burned it so badly that my eyes immediately teared up. There's next to nothing I can eat that won't irritate this thing. I'm applying a local anesthesia (Kanka softbrush gel) every hour and it's not helping. It takes some of the pain away, but the absurd amount I need to put on it is entering my throat which is now also becoming anesthetized...really uncomfortable. It hurts to talk.

I sometimes get these when I'm under stress...and the stress I'm under at the moment exceeds that of any other time in recent memory. Therefore I guess it makes sense that this fucking thing isn't healing. Normally they clear up within a day or too. It's been over a week and no improvement.

I studied for 5 days for a history exam last week. 5 days, all history...nothing else. Now I have more exams and a huge psych research paper to do. I've pulled together a lot of information, but have yet to actually start typing. Planning is most important I mean, but I don't know how the hell I'm going to introduce or conclude this paper. I'll probably just ending up writing what I know first.

I wanted to go to a horror convention this weekend... a lot. I didn't have anyone to go with though and felt so incredibly drained that I couldn't even muster the energy to get myself there. I've been doing work for the past 2 days and taking the occasional break to just lay on my bed and sulk from time to time. I did my whole put on "Sadie" and bawl my eyes out routine that always helps me feel better when I'm like this. It's a good release. I just don't want to attach that song to these times though...that's the furthest thing I want.

I wish I could pause time and give myself a week to become sane again. I haven't even left my dorm today, apart from peeing. I can't even make myself go and eat. I want to...I'm hungry...but I can't handle the outside. This sounds ridiculous, but it doesn't even seem like a possibility at the moment. Maybe I'll order food later. What could I even eat though?

I need to go back to working. As usual, music is the only thing preventing me from completely imploding.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Get this dream last night. A new sport was invented, one that combined wiffleball with genetically engineered gigantic fruit. It was setup like a baseball field but the gigantic fruit (like James and the Giant Peach sized) was in the middle of the field. You've have to hit a ball into the fruit, and how well you scored had to do with how many chunks/ the size of chunks flew out. Well I was watching this,"Indie God" edition and they were using a giant pumpkin. Robert Pollard was up, using the same yellow wifflebat from this GBV reunion video from earlier this year. He did really well- pumpkin chunks flew everywhere. They started hitting members of the crowd, splashing against their heads...it was a mess.