Funny things to do when your bored... (474) Big post warning

- Wax the ceiling- Rearrange political campaign signs- Sharpen your teeth- Play Houdini with one of your siblings- Braid your dog's hair- Clean and polish your belly button- Water your dog...see if he grows- Wash a tree- Knight yourself- Name your child Edsel- Scare Stephen King- Give your cat a mohawk- Purr- Mow your carpet- Play Pat Boone records backwards- Vacuum your lawn- Sleep on a bed of nails- DON'T toss and turn- Boil ice cream- Run around in squares- Think of quadruple entendres- Speak in acronyms- Have your pillow X-rayed- Drink straight shots...of water- Calmly have a nervous breakdown- Give your goldfish a perm- Fly a brick- Play tag...on West 35th Street- Exorcise a ghost- Exercise a ghost- Be blue- Be red- But don't be orange- Plant a shoe- Sweat- Give a Rorschach test to your gerbil- Turn- Write a letter to Plato- Mail it- Take your sofa for a walk- Start- Stop- Dial 911 and breathe heavily- Go to a funeral...tell jokes- Play the piano...with mittens on- Scheme- Sit- Stay- Water your family room- Cause a power failure- Roll over- Play dead- Find a witch- Burn her- Donate your brother's body to science- Ask why- Wriggle- Regress- Sleepwalk without sleeping- Try to join Hell's Angels by mail- Wonder- Be a square root- Ask stupid questions- Weld your car doors shut- Spew- Vacation at Three-Mile Island- Surf Ohio- Teach your pet rock to play dead- Go bowling for small game- Be a monk...for a day- Wear a sweatband to your wedding- Staple- Run away- Intimidate a piece of chalk- Abuse the plumbing- Bend a florescent light- Bend a brick- Annoy total strangers- Let the best man win- Believe in Santa Claus- Throw marshmallows against the wall- Hold an ice cube as long as possible- Adopt strange mannerisms- Blow up a balloon until it pops- Sing soft and sweet and clear- Sing loud and sour and gravely- Open everything- Balance a pencil on your nose- Pour milk in your shoes- Write graffiti under the rug- Embarrass yourself- Grind your teeth- Chew ice- Count your belly button- Sit in a row- Stack crumbs- Gesture- Save your toenail clippings- Make a pass at your blender- Punt- Make up words that start with X- Make oatmeal in the bathtub- Search for the Lost Chord- Chew on a sofa cushion- Sing a duet- Balance a pillow on your head- Hold your breath- Faint- Stretch- Flash your mailman- Teach your TA English- Learn to speak Farsi- Swear in Russian- Use an eraser until it goes away- Disassemble your car- Put it together inside out- Record your walls- Interview your feet- Make a list of your favorite fungi- Sell formaldehyde- Repeat- Ad lib- Fade- File your teeth - Whine- Rake your carpet- Re-elect Richard Nixon- Critique "Three's Company"- Listen to a painting- Play with matches- Buff your cat- Race ferrets- Paint your house...Day-Glow Orange- Have a formal dinner at White Castle- Read Homer in the original Greek- Learn Greek- Change your mind- Change it back- Watch the sun...see if it moves- Build a pyramid- Stand on your head- Stand on someone else's head- Spit shine your Nikes- See how long you can stay awake- See how long you can sleep- Paint your teeth- Wear a salad- Speak with a forked tongue- Paint stripes on a lake- Ski Kansas- Sleep in freefall- Kill a Joule- Test thin ice...with a pogo stick- Apply for a unicorn hunting license- Do a good job- Crawl- Invite the Mansons over for dinner- Paint your windows- Watch a watch until it stops- Flash your goldfish- Paint- Flirt with an evergreen- Smile- Rotate your garden...daily- Paint a smile- Shoot a fire hydrant- Apologize to it- Pretend you're blind- Annoy yourself- Get mad at yourself- Stop speaking to yourself- Be a side effect- Ride a bicycle...up Mt. McKinley- Duck- Redecorate...your garage- Develop a complex- Join the Army...be someone simple- Try harder- Hit the deck- Put leg-warmers on your furniture- Cut the deck- Crumple- Translate Shakespeare into English- Skydive to church- Cheer up a potato- Do aerobic exercises...in your head- Play cards with your swimming pool- Pinstripe your driveway- Play Kick the Fire Hydrant- Harness chipmunk power- Build a house with ice cubes- Call London for a cab- Mug a stop sign- Change your name...daily- Go for a walk in your attic- Challenge your neighbor to a duel- Build a house out of toothpicks- Howl- Wear a lampshade on your head- Memorize the dictionary- Stomp grapes in the bathtub- Find a bug and chase it- Make yourself a pair of wings- Be immobile- Dance 'til you drop- Check under chairs for chewing gum- Squish a loaf of bread- Moo- Bounce a potato- Outmaneuver your shadow- Climb the walls- Appreciate everything- Challenge yourself to a duel- Make napalm- Tattoo your dresser- Watch a bowling ball- Buy some diapers- Eat everything- Begin- Pour milk in the sink- Make cottage cheese- Tie-dye your sheets- Carpet your ceiling- Hold your earlobes- Fold your earlobes- Flap- Squawk- Read tea leaves- Analyze the Koran- Be Buddha- Award yourself a Nobel Peace Prize- Plug in the cat- Turn on everything- Drop pebbles down the chimney- Turn off your neighbor- Kill a plant- Buy a 1931 Almanac- Memorize the weather section- Think lewd thoughts about yourself- Blow bubbles- Send chills down your spine- Peel grapes- Make paper from the skins- Bloat- Catch them with your radiator- Get run over by a train of thought- Make up famous sayings- Bite your pinkie - Get your dog braces- Shave a shrub- Have a proton fight- Watch a car rust- Quiver- Rotate your carpet- Learn to type...with your toes- Set up your Christmas tree in April- Be someone special- Buy the Brooklyn Bridge- Mail it to a friend- Go back to square one- Factor your social security number- Take the fifth- Memorize a series of random numbers- Read the 1962 Des Moines white pages- Join the Foreign Legion- Learn Sanskrit- Exist...existentially, of course- Print counterfeit Confederate money- Kick a cabbage- Take a picture- Put it back- Sandpaper a mushroom- Play solitaire...for cash- Abuse your patio furniture- Run for Pope- Count to a million...fast- Make a schematic drawing...of a rock- Commit seppuku...with a paper knife- Revert- Think shallow thoughts- Starch your shoes- Polish your Calvin's- Contemplate a cockroach- Get a dog to chase your car- Let him catch it- Investigate the Czar- Form a political party- Climb a sidewalk- Have a political party- Get diagonal...with a good friend- Ride a loaf of bread- Sharpen a carrot- Interrogate a gerbil- Go bow hunting for Toyotas- Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids- Jump back- Play to lose- Scalp a street light- Have your car painted...plaid- Read a tomato- Sharpen your sleeping skills- Watch a game show...take notes- Put out a fire- If you can't find a fire, make one- Interview a cloud- Play tiddlywinks...go for blood- Play basketball...in a minefield- Don't talk to things- Draw Lewis structures on your ceiling- Have your cat bronzed- Have your gerbil gilded- Write books about writing books- Create random equations- Mispell words- Tell your feet a joke- Throw a tomato into a fan- Sing the ABC song backwards- Pretend you're a dog- Dial-a-prayer and argue with it- Grease the doorknobs- String up a room- Stack furniture- Relive fond memories- Tie your shoelaces together- Gargle- Count your teeth with your tongue- Decay- Find your half-life- Design a better toilet seat- Shred a newspaper- Have a headache- Scratch- Sniff- Hatch an egg- Play air guitar- Act profound- Spill- Spell- Stare- Truncate- Slouch- Develop hearing problems- Put your feet behind your head- Tie bows in everything- Hold your hand- Watch the minute hand move- Grow your fingernails- Pretend you're a telephone- Ring- Radiate- Skip- Play hopscotch...with real scotch- Clock the velocity of your REMs- Put your shoes on the opposite feet- Cross your toes- Roll your tongue- Crystallize- Baby oil the floor- Hide- Attack innocent bunnies- Declare war- Destroy a tree- Hide the scrabble bag- Seduce your stick shift- Wink- Memorize the periodic table- Mummify- Pretend you're a roadie- Buy a Ginsu knife- Collect electrons- Correct typos that aren't there- Polish your neck...use Pledge- Recopy the Bible substituting your name for God- Loosen the lug nuts on your dad's new car- Drop your cat off the roof to see if it lands on all four feet- Count the bags under Walter Mondale's eyes- Unscrew all the lightbulbs and rearrange the furniture- Found the Jim Jones School of Bartending- Listen for non-satanic messages (i.e. "Drink milk")- Dress like Motley Crue...surprise your grandmother- Dial-a-Prayer and tell them they're wrong- Go into a bar and ask for a Molotov Cocktail- Learn everything there is to know about the Holy Roman Empire- Make a drive-in window at your local bank where there wasn't one before- Walk on water...but don't get caught- Confess to a crime...that didn't happen- Be in the wrong place at the right time- Plot the overthrow of your local School Board- Request covert assistance from the CIA- Discover the source of the Mississippi- Search for buried treasure...in Nebraska- Hot wax the bottom of your brother's dress shoes- Preach the philosophy of Marx...Groucho, that is- Drink as much prune juice as you can- Write a book about your previous life- Serve ping-pong balls...as hors d'oeuvres- Jump up and down...on your alarm clock- Make a quilt out of used cocktail napkins- Sterilize your stereo...with Jack Daniels- Carve you and your girlfriend's initials...in a marshmallow- Drive the speed limit...in your garage- Sing the national anthem...during your calculus final- Wear a three-piece suit...in a sauna- Pay off the national debt...with a bad check- Go to a cemetary and verbally abuse dead people- Give yourself a hernia...for Christmas- Defend your neighborhood from roving Mongol hordes- Recite romantic poetry...to your toaster- See if you really can build a nuclear device in your own basement- Go to McDonald's and pretend you can't speak English- Write to your congressmen, senators, President, etc. to tell them what a good- job they're doing...On April 1st- Find the heat capacity of your chemistry professor- Take apart all your major kitchen appliances...mix and match them- Turn your TV picture tube upside down- Phone in a death threat on President Kennedy- Put lighted EXIT signs on all your closets- Carry a tune...drop it, see if it breaks- Be planar...but don't tell your parents- Play hockey with your little cousin...as the puck- Make a deal with the devil...but keep your fingers crossed- Put instant concrete in your big brother's waterbed- Give a lecture on the historical significance of cream cheese- Debate politics with a fern- See how small you can scrunch your face - Sell firewood door to door...in Atlantis- Found the TLO (Toledo Liberation Organization)- Play nuclear chicken with a small third world nation- Raise professional certified racing turnips- Give your grandmother a raise and another day of paid vacation- Lead an aerobics class...for patients of the I.C.U.- Go to a drive-in movie in a tank- Go to a non-drive-in movie in a tank and drive in anyway- Send President Reagan an alarm clock...wind it up first- Found a cockroach stable and stud ranch- Send your goldfish to obedience school- Free the oppressed toasters of America- Weave a tablecloth out of copper tubing- Give your cat a suntan...in the microwave- Park your car...with a friend- Park your car...with a group of friends- Frame your first statement of bankruptcy- Place it on the wall of your office- Solve the population problem (x^2 + y^2 = population...solve for x)- Contribute to the population problem- Wear a T-shirt that says "I'll walk on you to see The Who" and a peace sign- Practice the Aztec method of heart removal on your professor- Find out who made the super glue commercials and give them your Ginsu knife- Get Ronco and K-tel to merge...they sell the same stuff anyway- Sneak into a nuclear physics lab and stay the night- Play with anything that looks interesting- Drop piston engines on two people and see who squishes first- See if your goldfish can live in Coors rather than water- Try to ignite water...the Mississippi might work- Draw Venn diagrams...screw them up- State fallacies as fact (like, "peanuts grow on bushes")- Visit the Architecture building...loudly criticize its design- Make a schematic drawing...of a rock- Wallpaper your laundry room...with pages from books you don't like- See if diamonds really do cut glass...on everything in your neighbor's house- Tenderize your tongue...chew on it for a while- See how long you can stare at a fluorescent light...try green- Bronze your sister's turtle- See how long it takes for her to notice- See what she does when she notices- Bronze your sister- If you lose, stop watering it and try again.- Increase your territorial holdings by force- Find out how many ways there really are to skin a cat- Boldly go where no man has gone before- Be a threat to the American way of life- Do research into the cause of World War III- Be a threat to the Northwestern Tibetan way of life- Re-establish the Roman Empire.....In pittsburgh