Otome Game Review – Jyuuza Engi ~ Engetsu Sangokuden ~

Plot: nothing screams “HNNNNG IM GOING TO BE SO MOE” quite like kitty ears, and this is exactly what this game does. Taking The Romance of the 3 Kingdoms as it’s setting, there’s a race of kitty people called the derogatory name of “JYUUZA” who are hated and feared by humans. Long story short, they get blackmailed into doing the dirty work of humans and this is basically a tale of how they fight for their freedom . Yeah sounds totally lame too but hey it’s nekomimi so who gives a fuck >:3

Just as a side note, sad as it may be, I’m chinky but I don’t know shit about chinese stuff (cept for the fact that I can play the guzheng and use chopsticks lololol) so all the references to The Romance of the 3 Kingdoms are lost on me – my knowledge of the novel goes only as far as having played Sangoku a few times. Sorry if i get shit wrong or sth

Ryuubi

This white kitty is the head of all the kitty cats cuz he’s from some KING CAT line of Ryuu or sth but despite that, he acts and looks like an 8 year old. I found this pretty annoying at times with how naiive and spoilt he was (plus Ishida Akira’s voice broke a fair bit doing his shota thing rofl) but goddamnit he’s so fucking adorable like WHO CAN HATE A LITTLE KITTEN WHO DOES THIS??

ALL

THE

FUCKING

TIME.

HNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG WHERE CAN I BUY CAT LIKE DIS

So anyway, Ryuubi, the heroine (Kanu) and some other kitty called Chouhi make up the golden trio of sorts, being raised like siblings. Everyone dotes on Ryuubi and Kanu is no different, willing to do anything to protect the little moggie.

One day, the humans start raping their village, and the general, Sousou, explains that they’re ere cuz they suspect that the kitties are hiding a bunch of bandits called the Yellow Scarves and if they want to clear their name, they’ve gotta join him and wipe out the Yellow Scarves.

They fight their way to the Yellow Scarves boss who turns out to be a kitty cat himself. He’s sick and tired of humans doing the KKK shit to them so he began an uprising. He tells Kanu etc to join em but Kanu refuses cuz war doesn’t solve shit. The boss takes this as Kanu sympathising with the humans and comments that she prolly can’t help it: “Their blood runs through your veins anyway”. True enough, Kanu’s half kitty half human and her non-golden, purplish grey eyes give her away.

Before Kanu can do anything, Sousou appears and stabs the shit outta the boss. He cuts off his head to show the capital leaders and tells Kanu that the kitties are now royally fucked cuz the Yellow Scarves boss turned out to be a kitty – Ppl are gna use this as an excuse to purge the nation of kitties. The only thing to do is to chop the ears off the head but KANU has to be the one to do it. She does it ofc to protect Ryuubi and disgusted with herself, apologises nonstop to Ryuubi afterwards who doesn’t get what’s going on and just goes:

HUUUUUUGS <3 FK IT TOO MUCH MOE

Turns out this ain’t the end of shit and Sousou has no intention of letting the kitties leave: he kidnaps Ryuubi and takes him to one of the human cities, where the kitties are forced to head to. There, Sousou holds Ryuubi captive and tells the kitties that they aren’t to leave till they get rid of ALL the Yellow Scarves, not just the boss. So, Kanu and the rest are forced to stay in the city to exterminate.

Kanu goes regularly to visit the imprisoned Ryuubi, where the kid’s actually kept in a nice room with plenty of toys and sweets. Sousou’s actually kind to Ryuubi too and when it’s time for Kanu to leave, Ryuubi does the pouty thingy like:

and manages to get Kanu to stay till he falls asleep. Instead, Kane ends up being the one to fall asleep and that night, she dreams of Ryuubi looking all sad

and apologising to her over and over again. When she wakes up though, Ryuubi’s fine and dandy and she leaves. Kanu meets two lesbian lovers called RYOFU and CHOUSEN. Ryofu (WHO’S VOICED BY THE LOVELY SAWASHIRO MIYUKI <3<3) immediately starts hitting on Kanu with lesbian love eyes as such,

much to her loli girlfriend’s chagrin. The next day, the city boss has magically died and that some old db called TOUTAKU is to take over. Again, this means the kitties are fucked cuz Toutaku HAAAATES dem kitties and is defs gonna rape em all. Sousou’s not gna let tha happen cuz who wants an asshat for a leader righ, so he plans to usurp Toutaku that very night, with the help of the kitties.

However, Toutaku’s expecting all this and his men are ready when Sousou attacks. Turns out Ryofu is a pro general and works under Toutaku so she meets Kanu and co on the battlefield. She decides that it’d be too easy if she defeated Sousou righ ere and then so she retreats but not before giving Kanu a lezzy hickey on the neck lol

Well, now the kitties are a fucked that transcends being royally fucked cuz on top of being hated by pretty much every living human alive, they’re also branded traitors now cuz they took part in Sousou’s attack.

Anyway. they attack and Kanu one hit KOs this general, earning the respect of Sousou’s men and some of his allies (ENSHOU, ENJUSTU, DYING OLD MAN, KOUSOUSAN) and Toutaku’s men flee. Inside their castle, they find Ryofu who immediately starts attacking Ryuubi in hopes of triggering the rumoured berserker side of the kitties. Instead, Kanu takes a hit for Ryuubi and falls and it is Ryuubi who goes nuts but before he can do anything, Ryofu escapes and Ryuubi blacks out too.

In the end, Toutaku and his men run from the city and Sousou wins the battle. Ryofu betrays Toutaku, kills the guy and takes over. The kitties are finally freed but when they go home, their village has been burnt to the ground. Thankfully, one of Sousou’s allies, KOUSOUSAN, is a nice guy and offers to let the kitties live on his land. So, the kitties move to their new home and all is good.

Sousou starts warring again cuz taking one city ain’t enough for him. Kousousan’s ally, The Dying Old man, calls for help and the kitties decide to help as thanks to Kousousan. However, only about 2000 men + kitties are sent and Sousou has 100,000

…oh fuck. The Dying Old Man says he wishes not to condemn the kitties so sends em home. Sousou gives Kanu the chance to join him cuz he wants her badassery real bad but she flips him the bird and Sousou attacks the next day. The Dying Old Man gets raped hard till suddenly, Kanu and her army bust in like

and ride the fuck down Sousou’s army YEAH FUCKING GANDALF. Sousou 1v1s Kanu and beats her but before he can kill her, he receives news that Ryofu is attacking his castle. Sousou’s forced to retreat and the kitties are saved. The Dying Old Man however, becomes The Dead Old Man cuz he got shot during the siege and gives his city to the kitties as thanks. The kitties move to the city now and the people love them for saving their city.

Shortly though, Ryofu and her army show up and request that Kanu give em shelter cuz now Ryofu’s got Sousou and ENJUTSU chasing after her. Rmbing that Ryofu saved her from Sousou in the last battle, she lets em in. Ryofu invites Ryuubi and Kanu over for dinner. There, Ryuubi cuts himself on one of the cups and Ryofu tends to his wounds. While she’s orgasming over the sight of his blood, Ryuubi turns into Dark Ryuubi. Ryofu backs off but has confirmed that Ryuubi’s got that dark power in him and she wants him.

Soon, Enjutsu attacks the kitties and Ryofu helps out. She then reveals that her plan is to kidnap Ryuubi and destroy the kitty city while the kitties are busy fighting off Enjutsu. Ryofu kills Uncle SEIHEI and kidnaps Ryuubi. Kanu gives herself freely to Ryofu to protect one of her kitty friends and they leave the city. Meanwhile, the other kitties have cottoned on and realise that they need help if they want to save the city and Kanu and Ryuubi. They run off to find Sousou who helps cuz he wants Kanu.

Kanu and Ryuubi are taken to Ryofu’s castle, where Ryofu takes Ryuubi to a cell and her lesbian lover, Chousen, starts whacking the shit out of Ryuubi in order to get Dark Ryuubi to come out (I really fucking hate Chousen, all she ever does is whine and bitch in that horribly grating loli voice of hers).

After several days, Ryuubi is returned to his room with Kanu. At night, the 3rd Ryuubi, Sorry Ryuubi let’s call him (cuz he keeps apologising lol), is able to come out because it’s a half moon, half dark and half light. There he apologises for being so useless because of the curse placed on him. His time is up though and he leaves after telling Kanu that she’s everything to him and that Dark Ryuubi, Baby Ryuubi and him (Sorry Ryuubi) are the same.

Next day, Ryofu decides to explain the kitty history to Kanu. Around 300 years ago, there was a yellow eyed demon (LOL SUPERNATURAL) who terrorised the land. A brave man and his men went to kill the beast and from a goddess, recieved a holy weapon. The man managed to stab the demon and out spurted the creature’s blood in torrents, the liquid raining down on everyone around. The blood cursed these men and turned them into half demons who were prone to go into berserker mode, complete with yellow eyes and kitty features. The brave man, who is the ancestor of the head Ryuu kitty line, got much more blood splattered all over him than any other kitty and so, had a darkness inside of him that made him more dangerous than anyone else. The humans shat their pants and banished these guys and lied that it was their king or sth who took down the demon. The kitties then retreated to the mountains and lived their lives away from anyone else. Ryuubi possesses a dark side that is super strong: the reason who he’s still an lb is cuz the strain of keeping his dark side in check has taken a toll on his body and stunted his growth, mentally and physically.

Sousou then attacks Ryofu’s castle and lacking the manpower to win, Ryofu tells Kanu that with Dark Ryuubi’s power, he could wipe out a million people with just one move. To do that, she’s going to kill Kanu to get Ryuubi to go nuts and then she’s going to kill Dark Ryuubi and roll around in his blood to get his powers. Dark Ryuubi busts out and kills Ryofu. Kanu’s terrified as hell and Ryuubi starts going on about how he’s gna run outside and rape the shit outta Sousou. But before that…

…he embraces Kanu and tells her that he loves her and that he wants to keep her in his arms, where no one else can touch her. He starts crazy laughing about how his powers have returned and how he’s going to run out and kill everyone…

…just for you, Kanu >;D

Before Dark Ryuubi can do anything though, Ryuubi fights his way back to the top and blacks out in Kanu’s arms. Sousou arrives and takes the kitties with him back to his condo – the kitties are to follow him in return for him saving Kanu and Ryuubi.

Kanu goes to fight for Sousou but turns out to have walked straight into a trap. Ryuubi hears this and rushes off to the battlefield where he goes nuts and rapes all the enemy soldiers. Kanu’s more terrified than ever and begs for Baby Ryuubi to come back but this only irritates Dark Ryuubi who yells that all this time, he’s hated himself for being a weakling but when he finally has the power to protect Kanu, she screams that she doesn’t want him anymore. He kisses her and tells her that he’s never going to let her go before Baby Ryuubi takes over again.

Sousou now knows that Ryuubi’s the one who killed Ryofu and tries to take Ryuubi. Ryuubi flees with Kanu into the woods where Sorry Ryuubi pops out and confesses how much he loved Kanu etc but knew Kanu didn’t like him back in THAT way and that it’s futile for him to keep wanting her. Kanu replies that he already has her, since the first day they met as kids. While everyone hated shunned Kanu for being a half breed, Ryuubi was the only one who wanted to play with her. It’s too late for Ryuubi now and Sorry Ryuubi bids Kanu farewell before jumping off a cliff to kill himself cuz if Dark Ryuubi was fully freed, he’d take over the world.

Kanu wakes up with Sousou and Kanu’s forced to tell him the truth. For the next few months, Kanu and co frantically try to find Ryuubi but find zilch. Another battle starts, this time with a guy called ENSHOU and it’s revealed that Ryuubi took over and made it his own army. He’s ordered the exleader, Enshou, to bring back Sousou’s head lest he want to die himself. Anyway, Kanu takes Enshou to Sousou and runs off to find Ryuubi.

Ryuubi’s men take her to Ryuubi’s castle where he’s now become a grown up, long haired smexy kitty who looks kinda like a gay prostitute with his off shoulders garb rofl. He’s delighted to see Kanu and because DarkRyuubi has fully taken over, his powers have allowed him to grow. Kanu gets to the point and asks why Ryuubi took over Enshou’s army. Ryuubi replies it’s to achieve his goal of ridding the world of all these goddamned humans. Then the kitties will rule the world, with Ryuubi being king and Kanu being his queen. Kanu rejects this Ryuubi which causes Ryuubi to decide that he has to show her just how much he loves her…

…by pushing her down on the bed and declaring that he’s going to “make her his” hurhur. He tells her that he isn’t going to let go cuz she’s just going to leave him again. While he stayed a kid, Kanu grew up and got all pretty and now that he’s finally big like her too, she yells that he’s not Ryuubi – “GODDAMNIT WOMAN CAN’T YOU SEE YOU’RE BREAKING MY HEART ERE?”. As Ryuubi breaks down, Kanu realises that this is the Ryuubi she knew cuz he whines and whinges in the same way Baby Ryuubi did when he doesn’t get what he wants lololol. Anyway, Kanu tells Ryuubi that she’s going to stop him no matter what and leaves.

Sousou and the kitties set out to stop Ryuubi. Seeing all the kitties against him pisses Ryuubi off and after biting Kanu to paralyse her. Ryuubi’s about to kill everyone but Kanu forces herself to move and ends up stabbing Ryuubi, getting his blood all over her. Now the curse is gonna kill Kanu but she says it’s okay if it means stopping Ryuubi. She apologises for rejecting him but now realises that he’s the same person and no matter what, she loves him. However, Sorry Ryuubi pops up and tells her that she isn’t going to die cuz it’s a half moon today: the curse has weakened so it won’t transfer from his blood to her. Suddenly, Ryuubi goes nuts and yells at everyone to flee before

some bigass mothafucka cat demon bursts out from his chest or sth (yeah face huggers hurhur i recently watched Prometheus and it was utter SHIT don’t want it ppl). The demon, KINME, turns out to be the rebirth of the yellow eyed demon or sth. They pummel the shit out of it but Ryuubi has to reseal it inside himself and it’s gna make him a child again.

No matter, it has to be done so Ryuubi does it, kisses Kanu one last time before…

…he’s titchy again. First thing Baby RYuubi says is

“HAZUKASHIIIIIII KISS WITH KANU ^///^” lol and we’re back to cute Ryuubi :3

Anyway, the kitties return to their lives in the mountain. Sousou’s still off somewhere conquering the world and humans still hate the kitties but it’s kay, everything’s peaceful and good. One day while playing tag though, Sorry Ryuubi suddenly shows up and tells Kanu that it’s been long time no see. The curse has been gradually weakening so he’s able to surface sometimes; in fact, there may prolly come a day where Ryuubi’s able to revert to his true form. Baby Ryuubi comes back and tells Kanu to stay by his side forever before the two of em head home.

TL;DR: Ryuubi is tiny cuz he’s suppressing demonic shit. He releases demonic shit and wants to destroy world for Kanu. Kanu say no, he become small again. Ryuubi is adorable <3

BAD END

Kanu snaps after seeing how crazy Ryuubi has become and accepts his plan to create a world with just kitties.

Chouhi

The other third of the golden trio, Chouhi’s the brash idiot type like Naruto. He can’t ever stfu and constantly aggravates the enemy with his retarded outbursts and sharp as hell voice but that’s cuz he loves his Aneki, Kanu, and loses his head whenever matters concern her…which in this game is like all the time lol. He’s been in love with her since forever and desperately tries to get her attention in the typical, fail hetare fashion but usually ends up getting ignored in favour of Ryuubi.

Anyway, his route follows Ryuubi’s one till the kitties get their own city and let Ryofu in but more about that later. How do I start…like when he tells everyone that he’s going to marry his aneki one day…

OH POOR POOR CHOUHI.

I initially found him extremely annoying, the way he kept yakking his head off and being stupid but everything’s for his ANEKIIII and just-

OH POOR POOR CHOUHI.

Like srsly, this guy does not get a break not even once-

OH POOR POOR CHOUHI

The guy does everything he can to get Kanu to realise that he likes him and to get her to remember a promise they shared when they were kittens. Not only does Kanu stay oblivious to his feelings, she also never pays him enough attention cuz she’s got her hands full with Ryuubi. Chouhi’s been training damn hard since forever to be able to protect Kanu (who’s the strongest kitty) but when he does finally protect her during a battle…

…it’s in THIS fashion. Chouhi goes into berserker mode and starts raping the shit out of everyone and scaring the fuck out of even their allied soldiers. Kanu manages to calm him down and defeat the enemy so she gains the respect of Sousou’s men and one night, she’s invited to a celebratory dinner with Sousou and his men. Chouhi tags along and starts making these hilarious growling noises at all the admiring soldiers who approach Kanu like

I loled pretty hard at Sousou’s reaction who was jus like “who the fuck?”

One night, Kanu dreams of her childhood with Chouhi and the guy’s delighted when she tells him that she dreamed of him but the dream was mostly of Chouhi being a retard. Kanu was already a prodigal fighter when young and Chouhi got jealous of her prowess so sent a letter of challenge to Kanu who’s like “wah we faaaght?” but on the day, Chouhi got sick or sth and cudn’t fight. Kanu wins by default and from that day on, Chouhi was her “otouto” and she, his aneki. Since then, Kanu had been the most important person to Chouhi but this wasn’t mutual cuz Kanu had Ryuubi to dote on. One day, Chouhi got jelly and in his big idiot fashion, he tears out of the village baaawing cuz Kanu won’t play with him and in an attempt to make her worry, he climbs up onto the highest tree but cuz he’s a dumbass, he gets stuck up there and starts crying some more lolol. Kanu shows up and is like “…wtf r u doin” and Chouhi tearfully wails that he wanted Kanu to worry about him so here he is, stuck in a tree. Kanu’s all “yare yare” and effortlessly scales the tree before telling Chouhi to hop onto her back and she’ll then take him down. Chouhi refuses cuz srsly, who the fuck gets a piggy back ride from the girl they love that is soooooo lame and he ends up struggling so much that the two of em plummet to the ground together.

Chouhi tries to hint that there’s another part to this dream but Kanu’s too dense to realise anything. Blablabla the kitties get their own city and house Ryofu. Enjutsu though, threatens to attack the city some day later so Kanu sets off with Chouun to negotiate. She tells Chouhi to STAY PUT and protect the city and for a couple of nights, Chouhi is unable to sleep cuz he’s so worried about Chouun raping Kanu at night lolol so he ends up dashing out of the city to catch up to the two when he hears that Ryofu is out of the city. Meanwhile, Kanu and Chouun realise they’ve walked straight into a trap when they reach Enjutsu and he tells em that this was a ploy of his and RYOFU’s to lure the strongest fighters out so Ryofu rape the city in their absence. Kanu and Chouun escape and hurry back but aren’t too worried atm cuz the city has Chouhi…okay nvm cuz they meet him halfway and after Chouhi realises what he’s done, they rush back to the city where RYofu’s already started killing people and hunting down the kitties. Unable to fight their way in cuz the doors are closed, the three retreat.

At night, Kanu snaps and rages at Chouhi like srlsy WHY THE FUT DID HE LEAVE ASDASDFDGDFGDDGDFSG. Chouhi just pitifully apologises over and over again like:

till Chouun tells em to go cool their heads and rest for the night. Chouun’s going to go off to his Kousousan for help and Chouhi’s going to Sousou with Kanu.

Next morn, Kanu apologises and the two makeup and head to Sousou. Sousou has a private meeting with Kanu only where he agrees to keep her city safe if Kanu gives him kitty city after the battle and also, becomes his. Kanu agrees and they all bust into the city where Kanu only tells Chouhi that the city will belong to Sousou after this. Ryofu starts kicking the shit out of Kanu which makes Chouhi go nuts again and kill the woman.

Kanu tries to calm Chouhi down but the kitty only grabs her and makes off with her outside the city. He stops in some pasture where Kanu thinks she’s gna get attacked but Chouhi only purrs and snuggles up to her like a real cat before he falls asleep :3 Sousou comes to take Kanu but gives her her one moon to get healed

The harvest festival or sth comes and after hearing Chouun tell her how Chouhi’s been secretly training to get stronger and how he’s been trying real hard etc, she rmbs Chouhi telling her how much he likes her in a qipao or sth so she dons one that night. Chouhi’s creaming his pants at getting to spend a night alone with his aneki and tells her that he has sth important to tell her and for once, is srs and tells her how important she is and how pretty she looks today etc. He chickens out halfway through his confession though and Kanu finally spits it out that she’s going to leave with Sousou. Chouhi immediately flips and goes on about how useless he is that he can’t stop this and how he can’t even get his aneki to remember their childhood promise – and on cue, Kanu asks what promise he’s talking about. Chouhi’s had enough though and he books it.

Chouhi does not speak to Kanu and neither does he show up the day she leaves. Sousou’s men come for her but have also been given orders from the capital to capture Chouhi cuz he’s dangerous. Kanu fights em off and gets knocked out but this buys enough time for Chouhi to flee. When Kanu wakes up, she’s with Sousou and from then on, she fights for him. She dreams of Chouhi again and finally rmbs the promise. After she and Chouhi fell from the tree, Chouhi was fine but she sustained a back injury. Chouhi starts bawling like a baby and sniffles that Kanu won’t be able to get married now cuz of the gash on her back and wails that he’ll take responsibility and take Kanu as his wife. Kanu’s just like “NO NEED” which just gets Chouhi wailing even louder like”:

WAAAAA MY ANEKI’S GONNA MARRY SOMEONE ELSE

WAAAA WHY WON’T YOU MARRY ME STUPID ANEKI

and Kanu’s like “what is this rly abt” and tells Chouhi to stop crying cuz that’s weak. Chouhi asks whether she’d marry him if he stopped crying and she tells him that she will when he stops and becomes strong enough to protect her.

Half a year later, Kanu’s still with Sousou but SousoU doesn’t like how Kanu asks each and every day whether or not Chouhi has been captured or not: it’s almost as though that’s the only thing she’s living for. He sends Kanu out to take care of a bunch of mountain bandits.

There, she’s drugged and wakes up in the bandit hideout where she meets none other than Chouhi himself. He’s changed and calls her “ANTA” instead of “ANEKIII <3” and he’s all calm and speaks normally instead of in his screechy tone. He goes on about how women are terrifying in that they can adapt so easily: Kanu’s now a revered general and has even become Sousou’s lover. Sousou’s a right dickhead though, sending his lover into enemy grounds where the enemy could do *this* to her and Chouhi pushes Kanu down. Kanu protests that she ain’t and that she’s been worried sick and lonely as fuck without Chouhi.

Chouhi reverts back to calling her aneki and finally confesses that he’s loved her since forever, more than anyone else but that he felt like an idiot holding on to a child’s promise that his aneki doesn’t even rmb. Kanu though, tells him here that she’s remembered and that yes, she will become his wife cuz she loves him too. This past 6 months without him have made her realise just how important Chouhi is to her and she realises then that she likes him big time too. The two start making out after that before Sousou receives news that the leader of the mountain bandits is rumoured to be a kitty…and then Sousou realises that it’s Chouhi and when his men report that Kanu hasn’t come back, he realises that Kanu’s betrayed him and lord, he is PISSED.

Chouhi refuses to let Kanu leave him again and she says she’s going with him. He reveals that he originally just camped out here in the mountains but when he heard that a bunch of mountain bandits were terrorising the people here, he went off and beat the the head and was going to retreat back to his little condo but found the towns people and the bandits following him and that’s how he became the leader. It’s not like they kill or anything, his bandits just happened to steal from Sousou’s men to feed the elderly and kids he has here. He announces to his people that Kanu’s his BRIDE and that they are to leave the place now before Sousou gets em.

They make their way back to kitty city where everyone is delighted and amazed that Chouhi’s alive and has now become so manly lol. Anyway, they evacuate the entire city and make their way across the cliffs through one of those dangly rope bridges. At night, Chouhi asks Kanu to show him the scar on her back and rofl he starts taking off her clothes pronto till Kanu says she’ll do it herself. Chouhi just stares and stares, gets a boner and tells her how pretty her skin is. Kanu denies it cuz she has a lot of battle scars definitely but Chouhi tells her that the scar from her childhood is gone now before he kisses her shoulder. He tells her that since the scar is gone, the promise from before is gone too before he leaves.

He goes to the bridge where Sousou’s men have caught up. Before the men can cross, Chouhi stands in the middle and starts kicking the shit out of everyone. Since the bridge is narrow, Sousou’s men can’t cross in hordes so Chouhi spends the entire night fighting. In the morning, everyone’s about to go till Kanu realises Chouhi still isn’t back so she rushes off to the bridge where Chouhi is STILL fighting. He fights a super mad Sousou but can’t win without going berserker mode cuz Sousou’s just that OP but since he promised his aneki to never go nuts again, he sets the bridge on fire and decides to take him down that way. The bridge falls and Kanu jumps down with Chouhi and the two end up getting washed dowwn the river.

Kanu wakes up with a wound on her back where Chouhi proposes again for real and Kanu accepts and they kiss. They make it back to everyone where they all return to kitty city, with Sousou out of the way.

The wedding day comes and Kanu and Chouhi get married, with everyone going on about how it’s unbelievable that big dumbass Chouhi actually managed to get Kanu lol.

who comes in and starts going on in his usual tennen fashion how beautiful Kau is and how he would love to be in Chouhi’s shoes lolol.

Chouhi bursts in and tells everyone to gtfo stfu cuz Kanu is his. THE END :D

TL:DR Chouhi’s the dogged nice guy for Kanu but finally gets her after pining for her his entire life. Chouhi is hilarious.

BAD END

Chouhi gets captured and gets executed with arrows. Kanu jumps out, takes some arrows and dies together with Chouhi.

Chouun

Chouun is KOUSOUSAN’s general or sth but tags along with the kitties on Kousousan’s order. Unlike most of the humans or Sousou, who only wants to use the kitties, Chouun doesn’t have anything against them kitties and in fact…

he finds those ears adorable LOOL. He’s the mature, nice guy in the group, usually sensible and calm but is extremely tennen and straightforward, saying the most embarrassing shit ever and often hits on Kanu without realising what he sounds like to everyone else rofl.

When Chouun first meets Kanu, he doesn’t go “IYAA JYUUZA DA” or anything and treats her like a normal person. He saves her from a bunch of db kids chucking rocks at her and treats her sprained leg too. He fights as one of Sousou’s allies when up against Toutaku and shits his pants when he sees Kanu on the front lines. He immediately dashes to her and wonders why a woman in on the battlefield but when he sees Kanu one hit KO the enemy boss, he realises that she’s a warrior and damn, he’s enraptured by that. He doesn’t know why she has to fight but he wants her to rely on him some.

Kanu won’t tell him why she has to be out fighting and when Chouun hears that Kanu’s going to fight again the next day, he demands to know why she has to bear everything by herself and why she won’t let him help. Kanu thanks him for his kindess but tells him it’s a kitty cat problem

Blablabla fighting stuff, kitty village gets burnt and the kitties move to Kousousan’s turf. There, Kanu and Chouun spend their days flirting with each other lolol, with Chouun coming over to dinner, bring Kanu to see his horsies and he brings her to the town festival where he gets all dere when he sees how giddy she gets. Chouun starts falling for Kanu, unbeknownst to himself and tries to ask her out but…

Too bad ENJUTSU comes to attack and they run off to fight. Chouun’s mad when Kanu shows up on the front lines cuz he wants her to live like a normal girl. She can cook well, do chores well and is like an older sister – if only she didn’t have to fight, she could have gotten married and lived a peaceful non fighting life. Blablabla, the kitties get their own city and Chouun’s ordered to tag along with the kitties.

So, everything’s going good with Chouun and Kanu but they find out that Kousousan’s been sickly and is on his death bed. Chouun and Kanu hurry back, where Kousousan decides to tell Kanu about his past. When he was young and gay, he got saved by a kitty girl called Sekiran. The two fell in love over the course of like 3 days (romeo and juliet much lol) and he took her back with him to his city. His parents and ppl wtfed at first but left the guy to his nekomimi fetishes but when he announced some time later that he was going to marry Sekiran, Kousousan’s dad chased Sekiran out and that was the last time Kousousan ever saw her. He hasn’t been able to let go and thus has never gotten married. His dying wish is that Kanu go find Sekiran and bring her to him one last time.

Kanu heads back to kitty city where Uncle Heisei tells her that Sekiran…IS HER MOTHER DUNDUNDUN. She came back to the village after getting chased out but was shunned by the other kitties for consorting with humans. She gave birth to Kanu who was treated like a freak and then ran off to uh “pay for her sins” after just leaving a msg to Uncle Heisei to take care of the baby rofl great parenting. Anyway, Heisei searched for her and after a couple of years, found her but she was already dead too bad.

Kanu’s mind is blown and tells Chouun about this, who’s horribly shaken but tells her he’ll be there to tell Kousousan with her. Kanu tells Kousousan and proves it with a little charm which her mother left her which is actually from Kousousan. Kousousan’s overjoyed that he has a kid but is shattered when he hears that Sekiran is dead. Well, life goes on and during a dinner with all the other important dudes, he announces that Kanu is his daughter and that she’s the heir to the city. This obviously doesn’t bode well with Kousousan’s little bro, Douchey Old Man who immediately flips his shit but stays quiet about it…for now. Kousousan orders Chouun to serve Kanu as the guy does him so now Chouun has a master-servant relationship with Kanu – that’s why he was so shaken when he found out Kanu was Kousousan’s daughter.

So, Chouun now approaches Kanu all formal and drops the keigo cuz Kanu asks him to but he’s still all distant and shiet. Kanu’s super sad about it but spending time with Kousousan is more important now before the dude kicks the bucket. One day, she wakes up to the city castle in flames and it turns out Douchey Old Man is hunting her down so he’ll be the next to ascend the throne. Kousousan ends up taking a blow for Kanu and as he lies dying, Kanu weeps and calls him “daddy”. Kousousan goes out with a smile at this and before he dies, whispers to Chouun to promise to serve Kanu faithfully till the day she finds a hubby. Chouun escapes with Kanu. Realising that he’s in deep shit from killing Kousousan, Douchey Old Man hastily retreats and flees the city. Everyone mourn the loss of Kousousan but accept Kanu as the new head.

Kanu’s now swamped with work and Chouun’s more distant than ever. Her kitties bring up the fact that she’s gna have to get married soon for political shit and sure enough, Enshou shows up and takes an interest in Kanu. Chouun walks in on the guy comforting Kanu about Kousousan’s death but he doesn’t do shit.

Cuz Enshou’s really a bitch in sheep’s clothing, he innocently taunts Chouun about wanting to marry Kanu. Kanu’s kitties though, comment that she could actually marry Chouun cuz Chouun is a well respected general so all excited inside, she brings it up with Chouun some time later but Chouun misunderstands and thinks she’s talking about wanting to marry ENSHOU so he just gets irate and tells her yeah sure go ahead. He then requests that Kanu send him off to work elsewhere cuz he’s more useful out fighting or sth but rly, it’s just so he won’t have to stand by and watch Kanu get taken away.

Sure enough, Enshou proposes to Kanu but before she’s got time to ponder this shit, she receives news that Sousou’s gna attack and has been bruning villages around ere already so Enshou suggests that they attack him first. However, when Kanu hacks her way to Sousou, she finds out that he never burnt no villages…:O Sousou tells Kanu no to trust Enshou cuz that guy’s a lying fuckhead. Kanu’s confused and asks why Sousou, her enemy would be telling her this but Sousou just replies that he ain’t her enemy: he’s on her side and prolly the only person on her side:

He grabs her arm, then tells her she’s coming with him OH FK IT I REALLY WANA PLAY SOUSOU’S ROUTE NOW

Course Chouun comes in to cockblock save the day and he tells Kanu to flee. Course Kanu doesn’t and she yells that SHE AIN’T LEAVING THE MAN SHE LOVES SO FUCK U ALL. Sousou retreats and Chouun tries to leave too but Kanu grabs and asks why the hell he’s so intent on running away. Chouun gets all horny cuz Kanu touched him or sth rofl so he gives this huge confession where he thought being away from Kanu would make his feelings wane but apparently he’s never heard of “absence makes the heart grow fonder” so it only had the opposite effect and goddamnit he wants her even if she doesn’t want it and even if it makes her cry hruhrur. If she ever got married, he’d prolly charge in, fuck shit up for her and drag her away like a caveman for himself lolol

Chouun runs away again and the battle with Sousou ends. However, Sousou catches sight of Enshou’s army making its way to Kanu’s city and he realises that Enshou’s gna attack. He meets up with Chouhi and Heisei who tell him to hurry back to Kanu, with Chouhi going batshit like

MAN THE FUCK UP YO

when Chouun does that whole “I ain’t worthy etc” shit. Anyway Chouun realises he’s been an uptight butthole so he rushes back to the city. Meanwhile, Kanu’s with Enshou and has decided to ask him whether or not what Sousou’s said about him is true (k Kanu’s really fucking stupid ere). Enshou’s good guy facade disappears and he starts evil laughing about how dumb dem kitties are and revealed that all this was his plan, from Douchey Old Man’s rebellion to Enjutsu’s attack and HE was the one who burnt the villages – Sousou never did shit. Kanu’s about to pummel the poop out of Enshou but cuz he drugged her earlier, she can’t do anything and Enshou starts getting reaaaaally creeper on her like

YOU BE MY NEW SEX TOY.

SEXY EARS I LIKE.

Enshou’s about to rape Kanu or whatever those hentai fucks do but Chouun comes in again and stabs the fuck out of Enshou. Chouun flees with Kanu from Enshou’s soldiers and make it out the city

There, Chouun finally confesses that he’s been stupid as hell blablabla and he loves Kanu since like forever. Kanu reciprocates his feelings and the two regroup with the rest of the kitties (where Chouhi starts bawling lolol) and beat Enshou’s army.

In the end, all is good and Chouun’s all happy with Kanu. She goes to visit kitty city, where everyone’s big time happy to see her and turns out ENJUTSU and some other dudes have come to visit too. Enjutsu now likes Kanu cuz she defeated Enshou. Ryuubi starts singing about wanting to marry Kanu, using political marriage as an excuse. Enjutsu starts too and proposes to Kanu lololol and then Chouryou shows up to uh “take Kanu’s measurements” so he can make her wedding dress. Chouun snaps when Chouryou feels Kanu up and he takes her to a room just the two of em. Chouun goes on about how she’s too defenseless and when Kanu says that she’s not and Chouun’s just overprotective, Chouun goes like:

SO U THINK I’M BEING A NAG EH and we all know shit’s going down when someone goes “HOUUUUU?”

and indeed, Chouun puts his face in Kanu’s boobies rofl and gives her a hickey there, telling her that he’s ALWAYS thought that her dress is way too low cut (so really, Chouun’s been a pervert since day 1 of meeting Kanu lol) so now she’ll have to cover up to hide the hickey. Yes he’s hell jealous and after some more mushy stuff, the two have implied sex…or so i hope anyway lolol

TL;DR Kanu turns out to be Kousousan’s daughter; Chouun is a wuss, mans up and ends up with Kanu.

BAD END

Chouun rushes off to rescue Kanu from Enshou’s pervy clutches but gets shot down by a buhjillion arrows.

Sousou

The asshole warlord who blackmails Kanu and the kitties in every single route into becoming his black ops group. He’s regal, proud and a magnificent bastard. Shrewd and charismatic, his exceptional skills in fighting and war making him a much feared figure. His ambitions know no limits and he’ll stop at nothing till he conquers the entire world. That isn’t to say he’s unfeeling or COMPLETELY ruthless, shown by the undying loyalty he has from his men (especially his two right hand men, Kakouen and Kakouton) and it’s just that he’s like a sociopath spoilt rich kid: when he really wants something, he’ll stop at nothing to get it…especially if it’s Kanu ;)

When Sousou first attacks the kitty village in search of the Yellow Scarves, Kanu fights him so right off the bat, he takes an interest in her and wants her. After she’s forced to join him, Sousou never stfus about how she belongs to him and when she one hit KOs the enemy general, he’s impressed and shows her off to all his allies, making her sit next to him during dinners and shiet. Kanu doesn’t like Sousou but grudgingly acknowledges that he has a good side to him when he helps her when she’s lost and helps her find her charm from her mother and when he carries her back to base after Kanu’s exhausted from saving the entire army by fending off Ryofu alone.

More of this is shown when Sousou gets ambushed and gets severely wounded protecting Kanu and his men. His men jump out to save him and one takes a fatal blow and they’re all forced to take cover in a cave. Though injured himself, Sousou tells Kanu to tend to the dying soldier and when the soldier finally dies, Sousou tells his men to bring the corpse back. Then does he show how badly wounded he was and before he faints, he grabs Kanu and tells her that HE REALLY FUCKING WANTS HER and that she’d make a gr8 general and this time, he’s chucking away all his pride and ASKING her to join him. His two lackeys, Kakouen and Kakouton don’t like what Kanu’s doing to Sousou so tell her that she and the kitties are free so gtfo before Sousou wakes up.

Kanu and co head back but blablabla their village is burnt so they go to Kousousan. Kanu decides to spy on neighbouring cities for Kousousan and discovers that Sousou’s taken another city and that he’s recovering. She gets caught though and is taken to Sousou. Sousou has heard that the kitties are now with Kousousan and assumes that the man is using Kanu as he did. Kanu denies this and tells him that she came here to spy for Kousousan of her own free will and this offends Sousou cuz she rejected his uh, “invitation” but runs off to join Kousousan.

His dad (Sousu) shows up though and Sousou tells Kanu to stay. His pops congratulates him on bringing more honour to the famiree before Sousou introduces Kanu to his dad. His dad immediately shits his pants and goes “YAHARI…?!?!?” till Sousou tells him that she’s the wonderful warrior who’s done this and that…and then Sousou coyly asks why his dad seemed so afraid – did he think that Kanu was HIS WIFE? >;D His dad hurriedly leaves and when he’s gone, Sousou starts lmfaoing like “DID U SEE DAH NIGGA’S FACE TROLLOLOLOL” which leaves “Hey that’s your dad! Don’t call him “THA NIGGA”!!”. Sousou tells Kanu to stay with him for half a year. Tha way she can spy on him all she wants – she can’t possibly return to Kousousan NOW and tell the guy that she’s failed the mission righ? Kanu’s confused but decides to stay and Sousou tells her that he ain’t giving up on making Kanu his general.

No one dares to treat Kanu like shit now that she’s Sousou’s guest. She feels bad about Sousou still being injured cuz of her so she becomes his caretaker while he’s still recovering. For half a year, she takes care of him as such till more war shit happens. He demands that Kanu help him but she refuses and leaves the city. Tha night, on a half moon, Sousuu comes over cuz he heard there’s another battle and he blabs on about how Sousou needs to conquer more shit and agreeing, Sousou tells Sousuu that he’ll first have to get rid of those in his way…starting with his dad. He’s sick and tired of Sousuu telling him what to do and frankly, he conquers for himself, not for Sousuu so he tells Sousuu to gtfo and never show up again. Sousuu exclaims that this change in Sousou must be cuz of that damned Jyuuza Kanu and he goes on about how Sousou’s gna end up alone and with no one and to this, Sousou gets pissed and kills Sousuu. As his dying words, Sousuu says that ah, this is who Sousou really is and Sousou reverts back to his douchebaggy self, realising that he’s gone all soft cuz of Kanu and figures that he doesn’t need someone who rejects him.

Kanu goes back to the kitties but soon, receives news that Sousou’s attacking Dying Old Man. Blablabla the kitties go help out and Kanu 1v1s Sousou. Kanu yells that srsly, when the fuck will Sousou be satisfied conquering all these countries and the guy says he wants EVERYTHING. Kanu is disgusted and tells Sousou that he’s just like a spoilt child and echoes Sousuu, telling Sousou that at this rate, he’ll end up alone. Sousou gets mad but finds himself unable to kill Kanu and instead, demands that she join him or he’ll destroy the Dying Old Man and her kitties. Kanu agrees and Sousou retreats with Kanu, with all the kitties wondering where Kanu had gone.

Sousou’s men obviously aren’t happy but can’t do anything. Sousou makes Kanu the general of 500 men and gets her to lead an attack. Cuz Kanu has natural talent for leading, she kicks ass and goes after two of her men who chase after the enemy general despite Sousou’s orders. She saves those two idiots and earns the respect of all her men. When Sousou catches up, he’s super pissed that Kanu disobeyed her but he’s really just worried about her and his men are all surprised cuz they’ve never seen Sousou so worked up before. Again, Kanu asks when Sousou will be done conquering and Sousou replies till he’s satisfied. Kanu retorts that Sousou doesn’t even know wtf he wants, he’s just taking over everything cuz das the only thing he’s ever done. She tells him to go search for something else to which Sousou tells her that then she’d have to do the same and find something else to replace the importance of her kitties.

So Kanu tries to find sth that Sousou could want. One of her men, Sexy Soldier X let’s call him, brings her some special tea leaves which taste amazing so she brings em to Sousou to drink. Sousou’s like “…fucking tea is sposed be ma no.1 desire now?”but he drinks it anyway. When he finds out it’s from her men, he immediately gets jealous and tells Kanu that he’s gonna get her some tea which tastes way btr than this shit. Kanu notices that he doesn’t drink much and Sousou reveals that it’s cuz the tea keeps him up: he actually hasn’t been able to sleep well recently.

The two of em grow closer etc and often bump into each other late at night. On a night where there’s a half moon, Sousou shows up piss drunk and says he’s been drinking to try to sleep or at least, numb his feelings. Kanu takes Sousou out on a walk to get him to sober up but the guy ends up getting drunk mad, ranting about how he’s alone in the world and how Kanu HAS to stay with him before he falls asleep on Kanu’s shoulder.

Later on, Sousou gives Kanu some nice tea as promised and this is where Kanu realises that seeing Sousou happy makes HER happy. Anyway, Ryofu attacks kitty city (Dying Old Man’s city really) and Sousou’s men tell him that it’s a good chance to take down Ryofu and Dying Old Man at the same time but Sousou decides not to do anything.

That night, he looks for Kanu and when he finds her, asks whether she misses her kitties and to that, Kanu replies that course she does. When she asks whether or not Sousou knows how the kitties are doing, Sousou lies that he doesn’t and then tells her that she’s to stay here and that she’s sposed to find something to replace the kitties. He then tells her that he can’t sleep especially on nights of half moons (ie tonight) cuz thas when his pops died. His dad used to lock him and his mother up cuz his dad was possessive or some shit idk how crazy old men think so he’s always been alone. He suddenly lies down on Kanu’s lap and tells her that he’s able to sleep if it’s with her and he starts stroking her ears, saying that they’re comforting and somehow…nostalgic. He tells Kanu to hurry up and forget the kitties and when Kanu asks whether he’s found what he truly wants, he only smiles, kisses her on the cheek and chuckles that he’s messing around before going to sleep.

The next day, Chouun comes to ask Sousou for help. Sousou refuses and Kanu looks for Sousou. She’s excited when Sousou’s two lackeys tell her that he’s with Chouun atm before they reveal that Chouun’s not here for fun and games and that kitty city is getting attacked. She bursts in between Sousou and Chouun, where the latter tells her what’s going on. She begs Sousou to send men to help but Sousou just angrily mutters that the kitties are still number one to Kanu before he refuses again and storms out.

Kanu chases after Sousou and demands to know why he didn’t tell her shit and why he ain’t helping. He tells her that it’s cuz Enshou might attack his city but really, it’s cuz if he helped, Kanu would have no reason to be here. Their deal was that he’d leave Dying Old Man alone in exchange for Kanu joining him but if he sent men, he’d take over kitty city and thus the deal would be broken. He hates that Kanu’s always thinking about her kitties even though he, Sousou, is the one with her. He wants Kanu to be with him no matter what and so, in the end, he tells her that he’ll send men out if Kanu promises to stay with him till he takes over…THE ENTIRE WORLD.

Kanu agrees and Sousou sets off with his men. That night, before they reach kitty city, Sousou reminisces attacking the city and how he took away Kanu’s freedom. He confesses that he’s balls confused at how much he wants Kanu. It used to be just cuz she was a badass but now, he just wants her by his side like, normally. He can’t believe he’s saying mushy shit like this but Kanu asks whether it’s okay for her to be with him for realz cuz tbh, that’s what she’s been wanting for some time now. Sousou thinks she’s high cuz she’s all for her kitties but Kanu says that he doesn’t need to bind her to his will cuz she’s willing to stay with him. Sousou hugs Kanu and apologises for all the shit he’s done to her and her kitties.

Next day, Sousou attacks Ryofu. Ryofu cheerfully tells Kanu that her bitchy lover, Chousen, is prolly inside the city torturing Ryuubi now but instead of rushing off, Kanu stays to fight with Sousou. They defeat Sousou and Sousou pulls a Hiro and is like “YATTA!!!” but Kanu has already dashed off to find Ryuubi. Sousou’s left alone and a dying Ryofu giggles that Sousou’s like a poor abandoned child. She then tells Sousou the story of the kitties and how their golden eyes are the curse of the Yellow Eyed demon. However, this trait does not pass down to half bloods where their eyes are instead, black and hey, did you ever notice that Kanu had black eyes? Sousou’s like “OMFGWTFBBQ” before Ryofu drops the bomb that…

KANU’S THE SAME AS SOUSOU

Ryofu continues to laugh that Sousou never realised that what he truly wanted, someone of his kind, had always been right in front of his eyes and even better, he doesn’t even have Kanu. Sousou laments not having Kanu who’s still off fighting for her kitties. Kanu finds Ryuubi and the others safe and sound and is about to have a happy reunion till Sousou comes in and demands that she heads home with him. Everyone starts raging and Kanu pleads to see everyone first but Sousou only goes “…You said you’d be with me…” before he knocks Kanu out and gets his men to drag Kanu off. Like talk about possessive lolol

When Kanu wakes up, she doesn’t have memories beyond that of fighting Ryofu. She immediately asks about her kitties which saddens Sousou cuz he wanted a “OKAERI” from her rofl. Kanu asks what happened and Sousou has the nerve to go

「テメエが気を失わせただろうが！」

He also goes on to tell her that no ones found the kittens but Dying Old Man’s city is now under his protection. Sousou asks to confirm whether Kanu really is a halfie or not before he leaves her to cry.

Next morning, a servant comes in with a ton of presents, all from Sousou. When Kanu asks what’s with all the gifts, Sousou just smirks and replies that gifts are a given for those he loves ;) Kanu really dgaf atm and just asks about the kitties but Sousou again tells her that they haven’t found anyone yet. Kanu tries to find em herself but Sousou forbids her to and tells her that from now on, she don’t needa fight or anything and just has to stay by his side.

Anyway, it turns out that Sousou tried to kill all the kitties so now they’re on the run and off to Enshou’s place. Sousou freaks whenever Kanu leaves his big mansion and forbids her from going outside – kay now Sousou’s starting to go into creeper yandere territory lolol. He doesn’t go around conquering shit anymore till Enshou joins hands with Enjutsu and then he decides to attack. He locks Kanu up with his soldiers and goes off to fight but course Kanu busts out thanks to Sexy Soldier X’s help and manages to find out the truth from her kitties. Sousou withdraws the mo he hears that Kanu’s on the battlefield and takes her home

Back at home, he tells her that he’s the same as she is, a half breed. His dad locked up his kitty mom and it sounds as though he used the poor kitty as his sex slave or sth jesus and Sousou swore to take revenge. One day, he cut off his ears as a vow to which Kanu’s like “YOU CAN STILL HEAR???” and I know this is off topic but…

…does that mean kitty people have like, smooth, flat skin where human ears are supposed to be? I never really thought of that but I dunno about anyone else, but I think that’s kinda nasty cuz that’d mean like Sousou has no bloody ears… I always assumed kitty people had two sets of ears but that’s pretty freaky too i guess.

ANYWAY BACK TO THE CREEPY SHIT. Kanu forgives Sousou and tells him that just cuz she thinks of her kitties, don’t mean she’s gna run away. She makes him promise not to lie and do that shit again so he does. Anyway, some shit happens and Ryuubi’s in danger so Kanu begs Sousou to let her go to her kitties (who are still with Enshou). Sousou’s k with it but makes her marry him first but during the wedding, Kanu realises that Sousou only wants her cuz she’s a half kitty so stops the wedding. Sousou flips and goes into creeper mode, forcing the marriage wine or whatever the couple drinks into Kanu’s mouth through a kiss – turns out there’s horse tranquiliser in there and Sousou never planned on letting her go to her kitties like

WTF IS GOING ON WITH SOUSOU NOW LOL HOLY SHIT THIS IS GETTING DAMN KIMOI

He goes on about how he’s gna lock her up and shit and determined to not black out, Kanu stabs herself to stay awake which leads to Sousou freaking out in a srsly creepy way like

NOOOOO!!! MUST SAVE KANU’S PRECIOUS BLOOD!!!!!

NO SOUSOU YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG

WHEN SOMEONE GETS HURT U GO “ARE U OKAY?”

I don’t know how hard I laughed at this but this seals the deal: I can’t take Sousou srsly anymore

Kanu flees but Sousou catches her and goes all wifebeater on her, pulling her hair and demanding that she come back. Kanu cuts her hair off and yells that he’s just the same as his father and that she doesn’t want to marry a fucking crazy like him. Kanu runs and Sousou starts crazy laughing about how he’s gna destroy everything Kanu loves since she won’t submit herself to him. Kanu makes it to Enshou’s camp where she tearfully tells Uncle Heisei everything, unaware that Enshou is eavesdropping outside.

Shortly after, Sousou attacks but Enshou reveals to have given Kanu some poison so Sousou drops his weapon and lets Enshou kick the shit outta him. He tells Kanu to stab Sousou and when she refuses, Sousou grabs her blade and shoves it in himself. Dying, Sousou apologises for being fucking crazy and that Kanu’s wrong about him only wanting her blood: he’s loved her before Ryofu told him the truth, probably from the first time he ever saw her fight, just cuz he’s too dumb to see it. Enshou orders his people to attack and Sexy Soldier X shields Sousou from a blow and dies :( Enjutsu betrays Enshou and joins Sousou so Sousou wins.

Now the kitties live in Sousou’s place and Chouhi etc have joined Sousou’s army. Kanu’s tending to Sousou’s wounds when Ryuubi and everyone come in to play lol but gtfo once they see Sousou. Sousou tells Kanu that he’s okay with the kitties being here but he reaaally wants some alone time with Kanu and he wants to get married for real at once cuz he can’t hold back and wants her real bad ;) Kanu agrees and Sousou tells her that he loves her before they have sex

TL;DR Sousou turns out to be half kitty like Kanu and is fucking nuts

BAD END

Sousou kills off all the kitties and imprisons Kanu like his dad did, knocking her up in the process.

Kakouton

Sousou’s most loyal right hand man along with Kakouton’s little brother, Kakouen. Kakouton’s dead srs and his lifelong dream is to suck Sousou’s dick. He won’t tolerate shit directed at Sousou from anyone and he has a deep hatred for both kitties and women so naturally Kanu’s on his shitlist. Course, Kakouton turns out to be just a huge tsuntsuntsuntsundere so he’s adorable when he finally warms up ;)

The first half of his route revolves around him being a dick to Kanu. He can’t understand why Sousou’s so interested in Kanu. Kakouton becomes increasingly jealous of Kanu cuz while he’s been working his ass off since day one to get the tiniest shred of recognition from Sousou , Kanu just magically prances in one day, swings her blade once and Sousou’s obsessed. Not once has Sousou shown that much desire for anyone else and even worse, Kakouton has to admit that Kanu deserves all the attention cuz sh really is just THAT strong.

…and to top it all off, Kanu’s CONFUSING as fuck. Kakouton finds himself suddenly getting flustered when he touches her and can’t understand why she’d be willing to give herself to Ryofu in order to protect him. When Kanu hears Kakouton’s fighting Ryofu a second time, she immediately dashes to his aid but he ends up getting shot in his left eye by an arrow.

Kanu takes Kakouton back and nurses him while he’s writhing in agony. He doesn’t realise it’s Kanu and when he grabs her hand, he apologises for bothering a woman who he doesn’t even know. Kanu decides to keep quiet about it being her cuz Kakouton would prolly just feel disgusted at having touched a jyuuza.

Kakouton wakes up wondering who the woman was but quickly makes his way back onto the battlefield. There, he defeats Ryofu with Kanu who by now has earned his respect and so he calls her Kanu instead of Kisama and no long refers to the kitties as “Jyuuza”. This does not bode well with his cousin/bro, Kakouen who doesn’t like how Kakouton’s become a cat lover and so he frames the kitties for a planned assassination attempt on Sousou. Sousou orders the extermination of the kitties but Kakouton believes Kanu and she manages to clear her name. All the other kitties have fled during the attack and apologising, Sousou promises to find em for Kanu.

While out to fight Enjutsu, a bunch of fangirls start chasing after Kakouton who shits his pants and runs the fuck away cuz when he said that he hated women…it’s more that he’s BAD with women lolol. Confused, Kanu asks

“YOU GAY PROSTITUTE?”

to which Kaouton responds by pointing his blade at her rofl. He rants on about how everyone keeps telling him to get married and Kanu asks whether there’s a girl he likes. He mumbles that there’s a girl that he’s INTERESTED in and after some prodding, tells her that the girl has a mark on her wrist. Kanu blushes cuz SHE has a mark on her wrist but she says nothing and Kakouton says that he wants to thank that woman for saving his life.

That night, Kakouton busts into Kanu’s room at night to discuss battle plans with her (Sousou made her Kakouton’s battle buddy while Kakouen’s on probation for fucking up lol) but she ends up falling asleep and when Kanu wakes up…

Kakouton’s right next to her ;)

Things only get better when Kanu tries to wake Kakouton up lolol and he totally freaks when he does get up and runs the fuck out of the room like an embarrassed school girl

While Kanu’s chuckling inside about how Kakouton uses a dakimakura, Kakouton’s outside muttering to himself about how soft Kanu was and lo and behold, none other than Sousou sees him coming out of Kanu’s room and the guy’s like

HURHURHURHURHURHURHURHUHRUHRUHRUR NO NEED TO EXPLAIN

On the battlefield, an enemy soldier tells Kanu that ENshou has her kitties. Sousou gives her leave to go find the kitties, something that Kakouton sees as betrayal but when he notices Kakouen gone, he gets a bad feeling and sure enough, when he catches up to Kanu, he finds Kakouen and his men trying to kill her. Kakouen has an angry tirade about how Kakouton has changed, how they were the other halves of each other etc but then Kanu had to come in and ruin everything. Kakouton fails to get through to Kakouen and when the latter reveals that HE was the one who framed the kitties, Kakouton realises that he’s completely nuts and deals a fatal blow. Kakouen acknowledges Kakouton as his bro before jumping off a cliff and telling his bro that he’s going first. Kakouton then tells Kanu that they’re enemies now cuz she’s left Sousou and the next time they meet, they will ave a xialin showdown.

Kanu finds some of her kitties but they tell her that Enshou has taken Ryuubi. Enshou comes up and demands that the kitties join him if they want to ensure Ryuubi’s safety. Kanu agrees and Chouun runs off to get the other 300 kitties. The night before Sousou VS Enshou, Kanu bumps into Kakouton who tries to cut her down but suffers phantom pain in the left side of his bod cuz uh, Kakouen was pretty much the left half of him lolwut.

During the battle the next day, Kakouton finds himself unable to attack Kanu and rages over how he was able to kill his bro but not some kitty cat. Sousou interrupts and tells them that the kitties have joined his side so together, they beat the shit out of Enshou where Kakouton’s phantom pain comes back halfway and he realises that Kanu was the woman he was searching for when she offers him her hand.

Kanu tries to act stupid like

“WHATEVER ARE U TALKING ABOUT?” looool but ends up running away, horribly embarrassed. Kakouton grabs her hand and gives a confession surprisingly atypical of tsunderes: he straight up tells her

that he’s blushing cuz he’s touching the woman he’s in love with hurhurhur. He always suspected it was Kanu who nursed him and tbh, he was hoping it was her and he’s overjoyed that it was. He asks whether she likes him back or not and when she can’t give him a straight answer,

he pulls her in and tells her that he’s gna be coming on to her hard so be prepared ;)

Kanu, on the other hand, responds to this indignantly and pecks Kakouton, telling him that she can’t let Kakouton be the seme all the time LOOL

So, a few years later, Kanu’s still with Kakouton and the two are generals under Sousou. Sousou’s given the kitties a place to live and all is good. One day, Sousou teasingly gets onto the subject of knowing Kanu’s weakness which irks Kakouton cuz he doesn’t know what’s going on. He pesters Kanu to tell him what her weakness is and very uncomfortable (cuz Kakouton is busy feeling up her neck), Kanu turns the tables on Kakouton by telling the guy that he should know this himself:…cud it be that he doesn’t love her enough? Kakouton immediately starts serenading his love for Kanu rofl and decides at the end that he’ll figure it out himself. Kanu facepalms cuz…

BAD END

Kakouton lets Kakouen go and discovers that Kanu is the woman who saved him. However, Kakouen returns and stabs Kakouton in the back, killing the guy. Before Kakouton goes, he tells Kanu to lean in close and his last word is “Kanu”.

Chouryou

Ryofu’s servant. Chouryou is kind, a gentleman and always smiling but he seems to be confused by the social norms of life, being horribly touchy feely with Kanu and not knowing that he’s being very awkward most of the time lolol. He also has no sense of self worth

Chouryou first meets Kanu when he bumps into her on the streets. Kanu finds out shortly after that he works for Ryofu and realises that all the niceties from him are only because Ryofu likes her and if Chouryou hurt Kanu or made her sad, Ryofu would be mad at him, show when Chouryou refuses to fight Kanu (cuz hurting her would piss Ryofu off) and instead, he just decides to hug her till Ryofu shows up lololol

Chouryou also has no qualms about mass raping ppl during battles, killing both enemy men and his own men and his apology is just “sry don’t know how to hold back”. Kanu confronts Chouryou about him randomly killing ppl and poor Chouryou, who is obviously missing something as a human being, is only confused cuz he retains no memories before working for Ryofu and he has been taught by Ryofu to just obey her orders. The only thing in his life is to serve Ryofu but he is starting to get horribly confused cuz what Kanu’s telling him is different from what Ryofu tells him: Ryofu tells him to kill, Kanu tells him not to; Ryofu tells him to take shit by force, Kanu tells him to protect things. To make things worse, Kanu’s the only person who seems to care about him and concerns herself with him and so, he’s starting to not WANT to make Kanu sad and feels strange around her. As he says in his trademark line:

WELL IM IN A SPOT OF BOTHER

Anyway, Kanu ends up handing herself over like she does in every route to protect her kitties lol and she’s now under Ryofu. Chouryou wants to learn how to become more human so he starts imitating Chouhi and then Ryuubi bu hugging Kanu and speaking like em. He rambles on about how nice and soft Kanu is before he makes dinner for the kitties and hangs with em.

Happy time’s over and Ryofu feels like starting another war just cuz. Loliskank Chousen gets Kanu to go off to Enjutsu to stop the war but really, she’s just hoping Kanu will get killed by the enemy there. Chouryou sneaks off with Kanu and along the way, tells Kanu that he doesn’t know much about being human but he knows that Kanu is the most important person to him, more than Ryofu. In fact, he had a dream for the first time last night where he dreamed of living together with Kanu in some small village where everything was happy with no stupidass wars. Kanu replies that she’ll tell Chouryou how she feels after the war cuz cmon man, bad timing. Enshou attacks and Kanu is shot by a poisonous arrow. Chouryou pledges that he’s gna make it back alive with Kanu to hear her answer and being the OP mofo he is, he plows his way through the army with Kanu, getting hit by like 984723947923479238479234 toxic arrows

Kanu wakes up back at Ryofu’s castle, injured, but dashes off to find Chouryou. Chouryou’s completely fine and serving Ryofu tea but to Kanu’s horror, when he opens his mouth….

…he introduces himself like he and Kanu are strangers. Ryofu tells Kanu that he’s tired or sth but when Enjutsu comes to Ryofu for help, leading his women and children, Ryofu orders Chouryou to slaughter everyone and Chouryou does with a creeper smile on his face. Kanu realises that this ain’t the Chouryou she knew and sure enough, Ryofu reveals that she’s a deity and that she MADE Chouryou. Ryofu uses this magical mirror to put part of her soul into a person/thing to make em alive or immortal. Chouryou’s actually a clay doll she made and she just shoved her soul into him – since she’s got infinite life, she can can do this as many times as she likes (with normal ppl, it’d halve their life). The old Chouryou took too much damage and stopped functioning so she made a new one. Oh and she knows that Chousen went behind her back and tried to get Kanu killed so she breaks her contract with Chousen and takes back her soul, making Chousen age and turn into dust

.FUCK YEAH. Fucking hated Chousen.

Ryofu then decides to kill all the kitties so Kanu enters a magical mirror contract and is just about to seal the deal with a kiss till the old Chouryou suddenly gets up and stops them. Ryofu orders Chouryou2 to destroy Chouryou and badass Chouryou strolls up to Chouryou2 like what Wolverine did to a berserk Jean Grey and Chouryou then pulls an arrow out of his back and uses that to stab Chouryou2 YEAAAAAAAH. Ryofu’s maaaad that Chouryou 2’s so useless, goes nuts and crazy kills Chouryou, allowing Kanu and Chouryou to flee.

Chouryou and Kanu join hands with Enshou and Sousou to defeat Ryofu. Kanu confesses her love to Chouryou and vice versa and the two go and kill Ryofu. However, Chouryou starts fading away himself cuz he’s only alive cuz of Ryofu’s soul inside him – now that she’s dead, he’s going to die too. He starts crying at not being able to live his dream and wonders whether or not he’s become more human. Kanu tells him he IS human cuz he’s able to cry and Chouryou apologises for not being able to be with her.

...BUUUUUUT course Chouryou ain’t gonna die cuz Kanu has a “EUREKA!!!” moment, takes the magical mirror and quickly strikes up a contract with Chouryou. Chouryou resists cuz that’d mean that Kanu’s lifespan is halved but fuck tha, it ain’t a life if Chouryou’s not with her so they make a contract and Chouryou’s saved.

All’s good after tha and Chouryou’s living happily ever after with Kanu.

TL;DR Chouryou turns out to be a clay puppet made by Ryofu who’s actually a deity, Ryofu is killed and Kanu saves Chouryou by giving half her life to him. Chouryou’s an iron woobie T.T

BAD END

Kakouen

I really hated this dickhead especially in Kakouton’s route but…he turned out to be so flipping adorable <3 As you should have gathered from Kakouton’s route, he has HUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE brocon and chose to become a melee fighter like his bro despite being better with a bow just so he could fight next to his bro on the battlefield. So when Kakouton starts getting close to Kanu, he’s crazy jealous and thinks Kanu’s going to take away his bro.

The route opens with the part where Kakouton kills Kakouen. Kanu blacks out or sth and dreams of what could have and would have been had she managed to worm herself inside Kakouen’s heart like she did with Kakouton

…and then suddenly we leap back in time and see what would have happened had Kanu snuggled up to Kakouen. Being the nice kitty she is, she stays with Sousou (cuz Kakouen asked) and helps him. She finds out that Kakouen has trouble waking up in the morning and one night, finds out it’s cuz he trains late into the night daily. Kakouen starts trashtalking Kanu like he usually does, telling her that he’s gna pair off with his older bro and defeat Ryofu so gtfo and when Kanu’s like “OKAY”, Kakouen is all shocked cuz he thought Kanu would be jealous that Kakouton’s with him instead of her lololol. A tiger pops outta nowhere and Kanu tells Kakouen to attack the tiger when she makes an opening so she charges in headfirst and Kakouen kills the thing. Kakouen rages cuz Kanu could have gotten killed and she did the more dangerous job – besides, he could have just left the tiger to kill her. Kanu replies that she trusted Kakouen to not be a dumbass which gets Kakouen going like “BUT YOU HATE ME DON’T YOU?”, which confuses Kanu cuz she’s like

…YOU’RE the one who hates ME, not the other way round bro. Anyway, Kanu suggests that they start training together and Kakouen tells her to start waking him up early every morning so they can train.

From then on, Kakouen has no probs waking up and Kakouton’s super pleased with him. Training goes well, with Kakouen calling out his “ULTIMATE ATTACKS” rofl but Kanu walks in on him having a nightmare one day. When Kakouton gets shot in the eye, Kakouen blames himself and runs off that night. Kanu finds him and he tells her that he’s going to leave Sousou’s army cuz he’s too weak – turns out the guy’s been blaming himself every time Sousou or Kakouton get hurt. Kanu tries to comfort him but he ends up pushing her into a river and when she doesn’t breathe after he pulls her out, he freaks the shit out and begging her to not die, he does CPR on her.

Kanu wakes up and thanks Kakouen, who yells at her that she’s always playing the good guy which is why he hates her so bloody much. Kanu tells him that he’s the most hardworking mofo she’s ever met and Sousou needs him so stay right here. She hugs Kakouen who breaks down and starts crying.

Remember when Kanu rushed off in Kakouton’s route to save Ryuubi and Kakouen then tried to kill her? Well this time, Kakouen saves Kanu from Enshou’s soldiers and ends up having a battle with his “shadow” or sth. Kakouen wins but is dealt a fatal blow. Kakouen tells Kanu to stay with him and confesses that he has something to say to her before he dies

and he thanks Kanu for everything. He then closes his eyes, dies and disappears. Kanu then wakes up at Kakouen’s grave, crying but can’t remember what she was dreaming of.

I think everything then gets reset and what shows is Kanu being bff with both Kakouen and Kakouton. The three of em are still together with Sousou and they join hands and go off to report to Sousou.

Enshou

Um yeah…we get a route with this pussy tranny, which only ended up making me hate him even more.

This takes place in Chouun’s bad route, right after he dies. When Kanu hears that Chouun’s dead, she goes into despair and has no choice but to stay with Enshou. Enshou’s a horrible pervert here, feeling Kanu up and forcing himself on her just cuz he can but Kanu can’t fight back cuz the capital’s hunting down all the kitties – if she pisses Enshou off, he’ll kill her and all her kitties.

Still, Enshou showers her with ‘love’ every day whilst verbally abusing her and that’s the end.

Damn this is so deep.

Bachou

One of Sousou’s allies, Bachou’s a freeriding Dothraki so he gets what it’s like to be ostracised like the kitties. He’s carefree and outgoing, liking nothing more than to whore and drink his way to an early grave and hits on Kanu the minute he sets his eyes on her lol. Doesn’t take shit from anyone either and is voiced by none other than Tomokazu Sugita <3

Kay I don’t really remember what happened in his route but basically, Bachou doesn’t like Kanu being made to fight and he gets the yips when he’s leading his men or sth. There was some shit about his dad being this boss leader so there’s a lot to live up to and he’s here helping Sousou cuz his men are tired of being called barbaric mongolians or sth so they wana prove how strong they can be. Blablabla he doesn’t really wana do it but seeing Kanu leading her kitties and shit made him want to be a better leader so he pledges to be one.

Eventually, he falls in love with Kanu but he has to return to his Dothraki Sea but before he does, he grabs Kanu and runs off with her into the woods. There, he confesses that he’s fallen for her and that he wants to take her back to his place and make her his wife, where she’ll no longer have to fight and protect her kitties. Kanu be lovin him too but she can’t dump her kitties so Bachou tells her that he’ll become a better man and come back for her one day, when times aren’t so fucking retarded.

Afterthoughts and Conclusion

TALK ABOUT A FUCKING LONG GAME MAN.

But it was worth it <3

Been some time that I played a game that I could wholeheartedly call “great” – I didn’t know shit about the Romance of the 3 Kingdoms but I found myself immersed in the story right from the start. I know people were whining about how it was pointless for our heroine to have been a genderbent version of the character Kanu and all but like I said, I didn’t know shit about the original story so it didn’t affect me in any way lol.

Kanu was a pretty adorable heroine but like what many other characters say, she tries to be superman too much and really has to take a break. I mean look at this badass stance

with flames and shit all around her – she’s really gotta let someone else have the spotlight for a while lol. I liked all the main 6 guys but definitely Sousou for my fave cuz he was fucking hilarious when he went nuts. I wish we got a route for Ryofu too and also a little extra part where Kakouen actually ended up with Kanu but I guess I’ll just have to wait for a *fingers crossed* fandisk. As for Enshou and Chousen, they can both die in a fire. I also want a side route with Sexy Soldier X cuz that guy’s too boss.

Music was good, nice OP and ED too. Art’s pretty damn amazing and the artist really has gotten better since shitty Iza Koi and the back drops for the OP are really nice too like

. I was hoping for a pic of Kanu’s mom too. Oh and the half moon was apparently really important in the game cuz every single playable main guy made a reference to it. Yes I noticed that, I was jus too lazy to put it in lol.

I was pretty disappointed that Big Ryuubi only showed up for like what, 10 minutes and that he shrunk down again in the end but this only made me realise how amazing Ishida Akira is. The man has my undying respect. The fighting war shit got a tad repetitive but nothing the skip button couldn’t fix. My only major gripe with this game is that there wasn’t a scene replay button and I use that pretty extensively in most me games cuz I forget shit easy. I get the feeling I made shit up along the way cuz I forgot shit hruhur let’s hope no one notices

TL;DR: Bottom line is, this is actually a GOOD Otomate game so go for it niggaz <3

Sorry for the horribly long post, I had too much fun playing and writing this shit lolol

Lol I always love ur reviews. I’m so glad this turned out to be a good primate game since they tend to be hit or miss. Many is a badass heroine. I wanna play this game so bad now. Its a pity ryuubi is big for only ten minutes.

Ah, I kind of want to play this, cus you know, fellow kitty ear fetish just like you, but it seems so long and complicated and the Japanese looks harder than most games so I worry if I’m gonna be able to understand it all.

But yeah, it’s always nice with a kickass heroine and the art is simply gorgeous.

YES you definitely need to play this :D the japanese only looks harder cuz of all the chinese names and all lol and srsly, if my shittyass japanese can pull me through this game, anyone can play this game

People shouldn’t complain about girl!Kan’u. She’s awesome, she doesn’t put Guan Yu’s name to shame. ;D I was planning to play this game after BroCon PP, but some people spoiled the entire thing so I dropped it.. though I might pick it up again since you say it’s good, haha. Also, you’re like the only person I know who actually finds Ryuubi adorable. I think the poor thing needs more love. xD

YES U SHOULD PLAY THIS it’s actually pretty decent – just takes kinda long to get to the actual individual routes. lol yeah i had a feeling that i was the only one who liked Ryuubi; like I don’t dig the whole shota thing cuz it’s like falling for a 10yr old but with Ryuubi, Kanu didn’t go “OMG I HORNY FOR LITTLE BOY” and it was mostly “MUST PROTECT CUTE KITTEN”. Yes, Ryuubi acted like an idiot and his voice got weird sometimes but he still made me go HNNNG more than anything else haha <3

Easy explanation for why this game rocked so hard despite the Otomate name: Hiroi Ouji (of Sakura Taisen fame) and RED Entertainment were responsible for a good deal (possibly most) of the scenarios and story. Otomate’s staff didn’t do much writing from what the credits said. (My cynical side does blame Otomate for every scene where Guan Yu becomes this typical idiot shoujo heroine, though.)

Amen to the “die-in-a-fire” reaction to Diaochan and especially Yuan Shao. (I wanted Guan Yu to off him more than anyone else, even when Lu Bu got annoying because seriously, STOP MAKING MY MANS GO INSANE DAMMIT.) I liked Cao Cao’s story a lot too, if only because his crazy made perfect sense, both from his historical counterpart (ruthless but brilliant general) and the setting of the game (kitty obsession lol). Helped that Guan Yu got to be a total badass for a lot of the route. (Saying NO and escaping the “love cage” by stabbing yourself in the leg to keep the drugs from working!? Hell yes you are totes awesome heroine.) While I didn’t like his route that much, I do agree that Liu Bei was A-DOR-ABLE. Very nice “imouto” type character, and interesting to see a(n almost) totally dependant male capturable rather than all super-alpha guys and wussy girl.

OOOOH no wonder – I was wondering why it seemed so different from Otomate’s usual tosh lol. True, there were scenes in which Kanu did a whole 180 from being a badass and became some blushing shoujo heroine idiot.

Chouryou is Ryofu’s servent man do feel bad for him luck’ll she like girls but bad for MC though but she to flurt with her *shuuders* yuck that’s scary but I like Chouryou and Ryuubi but why they wish you got more older Ryuubi then the baby Ryuubi. It’s kind of unfair if you think about it. Chouryou being her servent is just my worst nightmare but thank good he not girl but if MC was a guy the Lebian lady wouldn’t go after you like that one or whatever but like feel bad Ryuubi being a vessel for that beast and being waked around by them geez well the game good so yeah thanks for the review on it.

Hello, it’s so good to hear that Otomate has actually released a good game this time! I’m Chinese too but I don’t really know much about the Three Kingdoms. But it was funny that we have a female protagonist called Guan Yu, I loled so hard at everyone’s names when I first started playing. So far, I’m only at the beginning of the plot, but the heroine looks like a badass which I love. By the way, a few months ago the Chinese translation of the game was released and so I’m playing the Chinese version of this game. My Japanese is rather awful, I can play most games in jap but I feel much more comfortable to play something in Chinese haha. Oh, btw, your DiaLover review was absolutely a gem.
Oh, are you from Hong Kong? I’m originally from Canada but I live in Canton which is just nearby, and I have many HK friends as well in both places. Alas, I can’t speak Cantonese, it’s so extremely hard to learn, Japanese is so easy compared to Cantonese, and I’m Chinese! XD