As I was sitting at the library letting my mind wander from the totally scintillating task of fine filing children’s drawing books, I realized that I was kind of lame and pathetic. It’s a hell of a thing when one minute you’re contemplating whether How to Draw Your Favorite Super Hero gets filed before How to Draw Your Favorite Super Hero Pet and you are hit with the overwhelming feeling of suck. (How’s that for getting to the point?) While I knew that I was a pretty decent person with a pretty decent life, I also realized that I was…

I wish that I could walk across the United States just once. None of that Forrest Gump back and forth bullshit for me–just one good trip to see if I could actually do it. How many miles would I be able to put in before I was ready to call a limo company and grab an air conditioned ride to the nearest town? Would I be able to triumph mind over matter when I inevitably came to the moment where I would systematically tear myself down for being the biggest loser on the planet because I forgot to bring a…