Dubai’s Giant New Penis Has a New Name, Is Much Bigger Than Yours

The Burj Khalifa (formerly the Burj Dubai, but renamed in honor of Sheik Khalifa bin Zayed Al Nahyan, the president of Abu Dhabi as thanks for bailing the emirate out last month) opened today at a final height of 2,717 feet, a price tag of around $1.5 billion, and enough room for some 12,000 office workers, hotel guests, condo owners and international playboy millionaires who are actually vengeful vigilante superheroes at night. Check out the insane opening ceremony video from earlier today above—the real fun starts at 7:20. Next year the building will sprout a giant magnifying glass and start destroying neighboring countries and other “world’s tallest building” contenders.