Awards Season 2011

Ricky Gervais posted a script for James Franco & Anne Hathaway‘s Oscar opening on his blog, and it’s a naughty one! You just know Franco is arguing with a group of Oscar producers that they should read every single word on air, possibly he wears a Gervais mask. Here’s a sampling that should explain why our hypothetical Franco (who is hypothetically dressed like Carmen Miranda) won’t get his way.

Anne: “I’m the new Catwoman. The first white woman to play that role since Michelle Pfeiffer. I want it to be an inspiration to all white people everywhere. Your dreams can come true in Hollywood too.”

James: “It’s going to be a night of the most privileged people in the world being told how brilliant they are and thanking God for loving them more than ugly poor foreigners.”

James: “For the same reason [Gervais] doesn’t have botox or suck up to important producers – there’s something wrong with him.”

Anne: “And even though most of the actresses here have eating disorders, that’s better than being fat right?”

James: “[Toy Story 3] was ruined for me because the little brat was screaming and crying all the way through the film saying, ‘Who are you?’ ‘You’re not my daddy.’ ‘Take me back to the park where you grabbed me…’”

Do you think Ricky’s funny or is this guy just trying to milk his Golden Globes moment for all its worth?

Celebrities, check it out: there’s no such thing as deleting a tweet. If you throw a Twitter tantrum over not getting an Oscar nomination, like Cher did today, the internet will store it in full even after you declare a “disappointment pass.” Judging from her rant, the Academy not letting James Franco sing Burlesque‘s “You Haven’t Seen The Last Of Me” at this weekend’s ceremony was insult to injury. “Ok this IS ME BEING A BABY ! MY HEART IS BROKEN ! I WAS UPSET AFTER WINNING THE GOLDEN GLOBE…James Franco was going to dress up in the “Welcome to Burlesque outfit & sing U Haven’t Seen the Last of me…I was OVER THE MOON ! cause even if I did get Snubbed by the music part of the Academy…How Cool was it to sing your song…To have YOUR SONG sung by James Fkn Franco in Your Outfit ! Well I guess his singing ( unlike his Acting Sucks )…But he COULD HAVE LIP SYNCED! oh well I’m all sour grapes! It was GREAT THAT HE thought the Song was good enough to try!”

She’s since deleted everything except a brief acknowledgment of James’ tribute, including a whole bit about how a “Blue Ribbon Panel” decides who gets an Oscar nom for song “Unlike ALL Actors Getting To Deciede Who The ACTOR Nominees will b!” But Cher did tweet one apology in regards to her freakouts: “One thing. Didn’t Know caps were shouting! Sorry! I’m SO out of the loop . Probably out of the loop Is outta the loop.” We’ll be surprised if Franco doesn’t make some reference to this drama on air Sunday.

Is too late for the Academy to review Natalie Portman’s Miss Dior Cherie ad before casting their Oscars votes? We’re kidding, of course; you know they’ve all voted for Natalie anyway. So let’s think of her commercial more of a victory lap, a reminder that not only is the Black Swan star pregnant, engaged to be married and this season’s most acclaimed actress, she’s also getting paid to blindfold a hot male model. After seeing this, we’d vote her into Congress if we could get her on the ballot.

In addition to bathing in her sunglasses and trying on her man-friend’s tie, Portman shows a little skin as she zips up her couture gown. Any chance we can save some of this elegant gorgeousness for next year’s Oscar race? Natalie’s next big film is Thor, and we doubt running around in the desert while mythical gods battle it out is really going to cut it as far as awards season 2012 is concerned.

James Franco, a man of many talents…and a man of many cute faces. Franco’s malleable mug has been winning him fans even before Freaks & Geeks—dude earned Best Smile in his high school yearbook—and he’s certain to score more while laughing his way through his Oscars hosting gig this Sunday, where he’ll arguably be the cutest host since Goldie Hawn in 1975, if not ever (sorry, Billy Crystal).

Get ready to gush all over the screen as we show off 25 of his most priceless expressions in the gallery below. For while we may not want to read his short stories (and the Academy may not want to hear Franco sing), we’re always happy to see him smile. Thank God he didn’t turn on the high beams when sitting across from Marina Abramovic at MOMA—she would have slid right off her seat.

Never ever diss the wardrobe department. So when they have an awards show, you put on your best dress, your sharpest suit and attend. At the 13th Annual Costume Designers Guild Awards, held at the swanky Beverly Hilton hotel, the stars did just that. We’d also like to pack Kellan Lutz in our suitcase and take him everywhere with us. The Twilight star wore the hell out of a suit, making us unabashedly drool over our keyboard.

We’ll have to say that no one could hold a candle against Halle Berry, though. The actress looked better than we’ve ever seen her (and that’s no mean feat) in a gorgeous deep pink — some blogs say red, but it looks pink to us — Elie Saab gown. Kristen Davis came a not-so-distant second in an unusual retro ivory and black polka-dotted Oscar de la Renta. Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore put on a united happy front, and the actress rocked it, as usual, in a blue strapless number.

Check out our gallery below and tell us whose awards show style worked, and who failed with a big Fashion “F”. [Photos: Getty Images]

Seriously, why can’t the Academy just let James Franco be great? According to James’ twitter account, Franco recorded Cher’s Burlesque song only to have it yanked from Sunday’s show. “They pulled this from the oscar show. damn it,” Franco tweeted last night, linking to a clip of Franco singing Cher’s epic “You Haven’t Seen The Last Of Me.” Considering the bigwigs upstairs clearly hired an unpredictable Franco to do wacky bits like this, we can’t imagine why they’d want to stifle his creative genius so close to the production. Ugh, now all this fan fiction we wrote about James Franco transforming into Cher and performing at the Oscars just makes us look like idiots. Just idiots.

While it’s often hard to tell when James is joking vs. what’s a serious endeavor (see also: Franco’s mustache, Franco’s career over the last 12 months, etc), but from the sound of his earnest attempts at belting, Franco seems to be legitimately trying. That makes us like the song even more, given the fact that Franco knows he can’t sing. “I’m crap at . . .I’m not the best dancer. I’m not the best singer, either,” James revealed to The Guardian. As for as we’re concerned, the Academy might as well cut out the glorious moose knuckle from the inevitable Black Swan parody, or pull the plug on the giant garbage flume Franco and Anne Hathaway will undoubtedly ride to a fiery death ala Toy Story 3. Sometimes we wonder if the Oscars really want to be great after all. We honestly do.

While some first-time nominees like Christian Bale have never attended the Oscars, plenty of this year’s crop have been red carpet regulars.Nicole Kidman‘s first time at the Academy Awards was just over twenty years ago, back when she was Tom Cruise‘s arm candy. “I just was like absolutely stunned,” she said recently. “It was like the biggest thing I had ever seen. I couldn’t believe how loud the photographers were.” Do you remember which Best Actor hopeful brought his mom the first time he was up for the trophy ten years? Or which two ladies up for a trophy in 2011 previously competed against each other in 2006? Find out all this and more—like who went with Ed Begley Jr. right before hooking up with her future husband—by checking out the gallery below.

Michelle Williams always looked like she wanted to be somewhere else on Dawson’s Creek, but who knew it was a podium? The actress has successfully morphed into an awards season perennial, earning her fourth Independent Spirit nomination—and second Oscar nom—for her performance as Ryan Gosling‘s frustrated wife in Blue Valentine. She’s also become a style icon, which may even be more impressive after Dawson’s Creek than her film career (the late ’90s were not pretty). Check out 25 of Michelle’s best looks in the gallery below.

Helena Bonham Carter is gorgeous, talented, and a walking fashion disaster. But at least she knows it. When she was recently asked about what she plans to wear at the upcoming Academy Awards, Bonham Carter responded “I have no idea. Of course I want to have fun…It’s probably going to be a catastrophe. But it’s like, I’m gonna go for it.”

The actress, who is nominated for a Best Supporting Actress Oscar for The King’s Speech, is eccentric to say the least when it comes to her red carpet style. Most recently, she was called out for wearing two different colored shoes at the Golden Globes this year, but she, and we, embrace the weirdness. So this is hardly a worst-dressed list or a post making fun of the woman we love for embodying Bellatrix LeStrange, the Queen Mother and human pie-maker Mrs. Lovett. Rather, it’s a celebration of her offbeat style, her penchant for teasing her hair to the heavens and then sticking stuff in it, and her bizarre accessories. Which look do you find most entertaining?

You can check out the full list of BAFTA winners here, but let’s get down to the really important stuff: who rocked the red carpet? Can we just say right in the beginning that J.K Rowling, taking a page out of the House of Slytherin, and wearing a python-print Lanvin halter-necked gown totally surprised us! Ssss-izzling! Lucky Julianne Moore wore a midnight blue Tom Ford velvet gown with a gorgeous bow detail at the back. Ford was also Julianne’s date for the night! Other best dressed stars included Jessica Alba in a flowing Atelier Versace, and the always lovely Emma Watson in Valentino. Want to know who else made the list? You’ll just have to check out the gallery below.