LAFC’s color/badge unveil on Thursday was surprisingly competent. The colors work, even if another club with black as its primary is sadness personified. The logo is nice; you’ll soon be seeing that winged LA at skateparks near you. They even dropped a 22nd century gold-sleeved letter jacket.

Will Ferrell could solve soccer’s security issues. If you don’t believe me take a look at the footage from last night’s Los Angeles Lakers game. There’s Will Ferrell dominating court safety with his red coat and Stone Cold Steve Austin mug – no one in, no one out.

He wasn’t even afraid to take on 7-foot Shaquille O’Neal, who frankly shouldn’t have even been allowed in the building given his history with Kobe. Anyway, maybe you haven’t noticed but soccer has a bit of a problem with people running on the pitch, attacking players, bombing stadiums … you know, the usual.

I say we get Ferrell out to some matches. Sure, he isn’t a real security guard, but neither are the guys working soccer games. Just ask Messi how ‘safe’ he feels.

As it turns out, Gordon Ramsay isn’t quite so tough without his apron. The controversial chef was one of two celebrity casualties in this past weekend’s Soccer Aid celebrity match.

In a fun contest that pits celebrities from the U.K. against those from the rest of the world, Ramsay had to be carted off the field after taking a hit from Teddy Sheringham (who apparently told Ramsay: ‘if you can’t stand the heat, get off the pitch then’). Ferrell also went down when he suffered his worst leg injury since THIS.

The U.K. side won 3-1, and you can check out the highlights (if we can call them that) above.

Woody Harrelson turned out to be the hero of last year’s affair, but this time the man of the match was the head of the training staff.

Must be nice to be Will Ferrell. When you’re one of the funniest people on the planet you pretty much have a lifetime Hall Pass. The guy can do anything he wants.

If you ever find yourself the victim of a hit-and-run, or a robbery, and you discover Will Ferrell is behind it don’t even bother trying to press charges … “Officer, aren’t you going to arrest him!?” (Officer chuckling) … “I can’t believe Will ACTUALLY robbed you. He’s frickin hilarious!”

Per the video above, Ferrell went Tina Fey rogue and announced the starting lineups for last night’s NBA game between the Chicago Bulls and New Orleans Hornets. It’s classic.
In fact, I’m hereby starting a petition to have the starting lineups properly announced in soccer matches. Bear with me here:

“AND NOW, starting at striker … he plays like a man but looks like a child! If you closed your eyes and only heard his voice you’d think you were in a girls’ high school locker room! Known for his goals and for making David Beckham his bitch in the tell-all book, “Beckham Experiment” … THE ONE, THE ONLY, LANDON DONOVAN!!!!”

Larry David, Sarah Silverman, Amy Poehler, Zach Galifianakis, Eva Mendes, Christina Applegate, Maya Rudolph & Jon Heder were all unable to attend Will Ferrell’s 2011 Mark Twain Prize Ceremony. It turns out Will decided to send each a personalized letter describing how each of them have made Will Ferrell the comedian he is today.