Oprah and Snow Shovels.

The bad news is as soon as I arrived (late by the way… thanks Amtrak), I turned on the TV just in time to hear that Oprah Winfrey is leaving town.

Evidently, Chicago isn’t big enough for the both of us.

I know I shouldn’t take this personally, but this hurts. I’ve always felt like Oprah and I got along fairly well.

Sure, we had our disagreements about Gayle (Oprah loves her… I find her annoying) but for the most part we saw eye to eye.

I should admit that Dr. Phil strikes me as a little odd, but who am I to judge. Good enough for Oprah, good enough for me. Even though he seems like the creepy uncle your parents told you to avoid at family reunions.

But now she is leaving the Windy City.

Off to make her fame and fortune in Los Angeles.

Wait a second. Doesn’t she already have fame and a little bit of fortune (by a little… I mean she bleeds gold bullion).

Why does she need her own television network?

More importantly, why is she starting her own television network.

She is worth about 8,000 billion dollars (when the market is down), so why doesn’t she just buy one of the crappy 700 channels I get (and don’t watch).

Then all she would have to do is move it to Chicago and rename it Oprah Land, OTV, or Oprah Classic (I would be very nervous TV Land, HGTV, and ESPN Classic… very nervous indeed).

But no, she has to wait until I arrive in Chicago to announce she is getting out.

To the uninformed, it looks like I drove her out.

That hurts Oprah. That really hurts.

I have to admit that while the conference was excellent, Oprah’s little announcement put a damper on the whole weekend.

I found myself getting angry as I walked the streets of Chicago.

Then I realized I wasn’t upset with Oprah. She has her life. I have mine.

Even though we don’t always agree, I think it’s important that we continue to support each other (after all… we both do it for the kids…).

Who am I to say that she shouldn’t move for a job. Tough times mean tough decisions. Like all of us, poor Oprah has bills to pay (by poor… I don’t mean poor).

My anger was actually coming from the fact that people don’t know how to walk down the street.

Where has common courtesy gone?

Large groups of idiots would stop directly in the middle of a sidewalk. Right smack in the middle of a pedestrian walkway on Michigan Avenue.

Why did they stop? Who knows. I’m guessing inbreeding, but don’t quote me on that.

I’ve had it with people who seem oblivious to the rest of society and what is going on around them.

I need permission to carry a large snow shovel around so I can smack people in the face when they become a bother to the rest of us (mostly when they bug me… if they bother you it doesn’t really effect me).

In the future, the snow shovel may come into play with people who text while driving, anyone who honks .05 seconds after a stoplight turns green, smokers, loud talkers in movie theaters, people who burn leaves when their city prohibits it, and weathermen.

I’m also going to need permission to add to my list as I see fit.

Thank you for listening.

If you need me I will be in the garage looking for my snow shovel and wondering how my relationship went so wrong, so quickly with Oprah.

Now there is a smart idea – I allow you to smack about with your shovel, if i can too… lovin the Oprah tale – sorry you are so gutted, i am sure she had her reasons though and boy do I SO AGREE with your description of Dr Phil – more creepy than some of the folk he has on his show!
As awlays – love the chuckle your blog gives me

My corollary to your snow shovel idea is my “Tasers for Teachers” movement. Of course, those heavy coats “up north” would require the barbs of the tasers to be several inches long . . .

My guess for why folks just randomly stop in front of you is that they are probably texting. My favorite (least favorite) is when I’m at the grocery store and people are walking around with their bluetooth earpieces engaged in loud conversations. I often start talking back to them as if they were asking me a question or talking to me. Most of the time, they don’t even notice that I’m talking to them. I just hope it’s obvious to onlookers which one of us is the most insane.

Blogroll

Disclaimer

While this site operates with the knowledge and awareness of the Tuscola CUSD #301 School Board, Tuscola, Illinois, the content and opinions posted here may or may not represent their views personally or collectively, nor does it attempt to represent the official viewpoint of Tuscola CUSD #301 administrators or employees.