From the bizarre personals, clearly written by someone from another country, to the usual nigerian princes, there is an endless supply of silliness.

________________________________________________________
Dearest One

I'm Mary Williamsm, Please I'm seeking for your attention to assist me in transfering sum of (Â£5.900000) to you. meanwhile (ABB COMPANY) have to paid in Cote d'ivoire by My late father but my uncle is a total trait to my life. More details later, Thanks and God bless you

Mary.
___________________________________________________________
dear, good mood to u (de country code) from Oksany

Aloha, my gentleman

I look for a new beginning a fresh place to start, something to replace this hole in my heart. I lay awake at night as emotions stir, the last time I truly felt free has now become blur. I want to be in love really I do. My emotions are lonely, sad and confused. My heart torn, battered.
You are everything ever dreamed of plus a hundred and two. When I will be
with you a million emotions will run through my head, but as always I leave with a hundred things left unsaid. I know I am completely ready to give you one hundred percent of my heart.
Smile at me here weareforlove

The prestigious MicrosoftÂ® Windows XP Corporations wishes to inform you that
your e-mail address emerged as one of their online lucky Winners selected from
our private computerized lottery drawn here in London United Kingdom and this
selection process was carried out through a random selection in our Computerized
Email Selection System (C.E.S.S.) from a database of over a million email
addresses from the world wide web.

This promotion was set-up to encourage the active users of the Internet
MicrosoftÂ® Windows. Hence we do believe that with your winning prize, you will
continue to be active and patronage to the MicrosoftÂ® Windows XP Corporations.

Therefore you have won the sum of Â£500,000.00 pounds {Five Hundred Thousand
Great British Pounds}. A winning cheque will be issued in your name by the
MicrosoftÂ® Windows XP Corporation and also a certificate of prize claims will be
sent to you along side with your winnings cheque. You are to make contact with
your designated agent who shall by duty, guide you through the process of
facilitating the release of your Prize.

For claims,you are advised to contact your designated appointed agent (Mr.Brian
Hilton)Of RST Limited on email:rstagency@aim.com ,phone number:(+44)7031741576
with the following details below.

I always get a laugh when I receive one of those. I have wondered who would ever fall for such nonsense. Well, let me tell you, people do indeed fall for them.

I have a friend in West Oakland who really is street smart. He found the love of his life in Nigeria. He sent her (maybe it was a her) money and constant emails. She told him that she only needed another $1500 and she could leave her country and join him in America. To cut to the chase, he waited at the Oakland Airport, with roses, while her plane landed and needless to say, no girlfriend got off the plane.

When he arrived home he was crushed. Looking at his mail was an email from her. Her pass port was not in order and she was in jail. She needed $2000 usd to bail out. It wasn't until then he realized that he had been scammed. Having been in jail several times in his life, he knew that most likely Nigeria did not offer computer access while you are in custody.

I actually felt bad for him as it was an expensive lesson to learn.

P. T. Barnum was right........

Those who think they can and those who think they can't are both right.

I really enjoy screwing with the scammers. I sell cars and parts on Craigs List on a regular basis. I can't tell you the number of people who have "accidently" sent too much money for the car. The reply "just cash the check and send me back the difference, in cash by Fedex". The checks always arrive to my by Fedex. Someone is paying that bill. I will usually end it by writing, and inquiring "why would the authorities want info from me about a simple car sale". It's priceless.

Those who think they can and those who think they can't are both right.

This may appear a bit surprising to you but very beneficial as a matter
of urgency am desperately looking for a foreign partner whom i can Trust to handle some investment or fund movement. I am Mrs. .MARIA PFEBVE, wife Of late MR.PETER PFEBVE, who was murdered by the Zimbabwean veterans and irate black people. I am writing from South Africa. I got your address from the internet through the consultancy directory during my search for a reliable and honest person to transact this business with. I write to solicit for your special assistance to a family shattered by a tyrannical government led by a dictator and his (ZANU-PF) ruling party-president Robert Mugabe. Because of land and farm land crisis in Zimbabwe, the government secretly sponsored the war veterans and some irate party members to dispossess the land being occupied by white farmers .This action has led to the killing of some members of opposition party including my husband (Mr. PETER PFEBVE). But before the death of my husband, he anticipated some dangers and so he deposited the sum of US$15.4m (Fifteen million four hun
Party trooped into our compound and axed him (my husband) to death. Since then, they have been terrorizing my only son, JAMES PFEBVE, but we managed to escape to a neighboring country, South Africa as a political asylum seeker (refugee).But our position in South Africa does not permit us to open an account or run any huge financial business that is why I want this fund to be transferred into your private account so that you will assist him to invest it in your country. Hence, if you agree to assist us, we will offer you 20% of the money for your assistance, 80% will be for our family investment in your country through your assistance. I need your urgent and confidential response. Please you can contact my son JAMES PFEBVE Email him at x@aol.com

Best regards,
MRS.MARIA PFEBVE.

(For The Family).

Upon your immediate response, I will immediately arrange and send to you all the information that will empower your good self in finalizing the transaction with the security company here in South Africa I will also send to you the agreement that will protect both interest. And also further information about you is necessary for I can not play on this. Waiting for your prompt and positive response. Please read about
Problems in Zimbabwe from the link below.
(purported bbc news links)

PLEASE CONTACT MY SON JAMES PFEBVE HE IS THE ONE IN CHARGE OF THE
MONEY

Now we have arranged your payment of ($2,500,000,00 USD)Two million Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars in your ATM payment card to be sent to you in cash through Financial Bank Western Union Money Transfer Department: Your Inherittance Winning Funds will be sending to you by western union and the amount you will be receiving per day is $5000, only.

The minister trust funds of Benin Republic will send you the currently standard tracking details you need to pick up your ($5000) payment by western union and you will be receiving your money in every two days till you receive the total fund of ($2,500,000,00 USD). Now no need to send you this atm card because you can not be able to withdraw the atm card in your country due to the atm master card contains large money on it.The director administrtor trust funds have already signed your payment, now you are free to comply with Dr Abrahim Moorvis in Financial Bank Benin on this email:(www.wumt.benin@w.cn)

however, kindly contact the below person who is in position to release your payment by western union $5000 per day.
Financial Bank Benin,
Western Union Department.
Contact Dr Abrahim Moorvis
Tel: +229-98911381
E-mail: (www.wunmt.beninrepublic@w.cn)

The financial bank western union payment center has been mandated to issue out your payment and you have to stop any further communication with any other person(s) or office(s) to avoid any hitches in receiving your payment. Note that the administrator payment need this details from you to process your payment without any delay:

As part of our security measures, we regularly screen activity in the PayPal
system. We recently contacted you after noticing an issue on your account.

We requested information from you for the following reason:

A recent review of your account determined that we require some additional
information from you in order to provide you with secure service.

Case ID Number: PP-635-628-178

This is a second reminder to log in to PayPal as soon as possible. Once you log
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Once you log in, you will be provided with steps to restore your
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Please do not reply to this email. This mailbox is not monitored and you
will not receive a response. For assistance, log in to your PayPal account
and click the Help link in the top right corner of any PayPal page.

All participants were selected through a computer balloting
system drawn from One hundred thousand E-mail addresses
from Canada,Australia, United States, Asia, Europe, Middle
East and Africa as part of our international promotions program
which is conducted annually.

Furthermore, your details (e-mail address) fall within our European
Representative Office in Amsterdam, Holland as indicated in your play
coupon and your prize of $500,000USD will be released to you from our
Regional Office in West Africa.

This is to inform you that your Email Address have emerged winner of the AUSTRALIAN LOTTERY PROGRAM held on 11 April 2010.You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of $400,000,00USD (FOUR HUNDRED THOUSAND AMERICAN DOLLARS).

To file for your claim . Please quote your Date of draw,Reference Number,Batch Number and Winning Number, which can be found on the top-left corner of this message. Also, you should give in your telephone number to help locate your file easily.

For security reasons, we advice all winners to keep this information confidential from the public until your claim is processed and your prize has been released to you and also to the public. This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming and unwarranted taking advantage of this Programme by non-participant or unofficial personnel.

HOW TO CLAIM YOUR WINNING PRIZE

To claim your won prize money, please contact our claims agent with the verification form below:

Don't fall for these scams. The head of the FBI just sent me a notice warning me. Imagine that,, the HEAD of the FBI. From: FBI Director Robert S.Mueller <mueller>
To: undisclosed-recipients:;
Sent: Mon, May 24, 2010 11:48 pm
Subject: Beneficiary,

Attn: Beneficiary,

This is to Officially inform you that it has come to our notice and we have
thoroughly Investigated with the help of our Intelligence Monitoring Network
System that you are having an illegal Transaction with Impostors claiming to be
Prof. Charles C. Soludo of the Central Bank Of Nigeria, Mr. Patrick Aziza,
MrFrank Nweke, none officials of Oceanic Bank, Zenith Banks, kelvin Young of
HSBC,Ben of Fedex,Ibrahim Sule,Larry Christopher, Puppy Scammers are impostors
claiming to be the Federal Bureau Of Investigation. During our Investigation, we
noticed that the reason why you have not received your payment is because you
have not fulfilled your Financial Obligation given to you in respect of your
Contract/Inheritance Payment.

Therefore, we have contacted the Federal Ministry Of Finance on your behalf and
they have brought a solution to your problem by cordinating your payment in
total USD$11,000.000.00 in an ATM CARD which you can use to withdraw money from
any ATM MACHINE CENTER anywhere in the world with a maximum of $4,000 to $5,000
United States Dollars daily. You now have the lawful right to claim your fund in
an ATM CARD.

Since the Federal Bureau of Investigation is involved in this transaction, you
have to be rest assured for this is 100% risk free it is our duty to protect the
American Citizens. All I want you to do is to contact the ATM CARD CENTER via
email for their requirements to proceed and procure your Approval Slip on your
behalf which will cost you $110.00 only and note that your Approval Slip which
contains details of the agent who will process your transaction.

You are adviced to contact Mr mike williams with the informations as stated
below:

Your full Name..
Your Address:..............
Home/Cell Phone:..............
Age
Current occupation:

So your files would be updated after which he will send the payment informations
which you'll use in making payment of $110.00 via Western Union Money Transfer
or Money Gram Transfer for the procurement of your Approval Slip after which the
delivery of your ATM CARD will be effected to your designated home address
without any further delay.

We order you get back to this office after you have contacted the ATM SWIFT CARD
CENTER and we do await your response so we can move on with our Investigation
and make sure your ATM SWIFT CARD gets to you.

Thanks and hope to read from you soon.

FBI Director Robert S.Mueller III.

Note: Do disregard any email you get from any impostors or offices claiming to

I don't post things because I believe that they are the absolute truth. I post them because I believe that they should be considered.

I Am Mr.Hadilze Hokoro. I Work In The Foreign Exchange Department Of Ecobank Of Ouagadouguo Burkina Faso Annex. I Have A Business Which Will Be Beneficial To Both Of Us.The Amount Of Money Involved Is ($5.5 Million Us Dollars) Which I Want To Transfer Out Of The Country To Your Bank Account, All To My Financial Benefit And Yours Too.This Money Is Owned By A Man Called(Mr Abdolvahed Danesh Amooz)A Business Commercialist In West-African Regions. He Has Been Dead Since Five Years Ago And Since Then No Claim Has Been Placed On His Bank Account Balance.

I Want To Transfer This Money Out Of The Country But Such Fund Can Not Be Transferred Without A Next Of Kin Attached To The Fund.The Fund Could Be Transferred In These Way,You Shall Present Yourself As A Relative & Business Associates To The Deceased Person(Mr. Abdolvahed Danesh Amooz) I Shall Make Available To You Materials And Information With Which A Successful Claim Shall Be Placed On The Fund.

I Shall Be Your Guidiance And Instructor Throughout The Duration Of This Transaction So As To Ensure A Swift And Sure Transfer Of The Fund To Your Bank Account. As To Your Benefits, You Shall Be Entitled To 40% Of This Fund, For Your Co-Operation In This Transaction.So If You Are Intrested,In Your Reply Please Include Your Private Phone And Your Fax Numbers For Urgency Has To Be Implied And This Business Must Strictly Be A Deal Between Both Of Us.

In 2006 Kohler Rental started providing power solutions for Burning Man Theme camps. Over the course of time we have learned the unique requirements to dealing with the extreme conditions, for operating generators and power distribution.

I have worked with the main camp on power requirements while an associate of mine handled the Theme camps. I will be managing the Theme camps and main camp as we move forward.

If you have used Kohler Rental previously would you contact me via e-mail so that I can assure your needs are met. If you have not used Kohler Rental previously we can help you size your generator and create the power distribution list.

We will have technicians on site to assure operational success for you and your camp.

We got your contact information from the country public record when the board was on search for a WORTHY REPRESENTATIVE OF OUR COMPANY, THE COCA-COLA COMPANY. My name is Ms Monica Szychulda, I am the secretary to Mr. Muhtar Kent (Chairman of the Board, Chief Executive Officer) Coca-Cola Company. We are very interested in giving you a part-time job as a cash representative for Coca - Cola Company, the world's largest beverage company.

This job would be based on contract and commission terms, it is a part-time job and it would involve quite a lot of trust and honest. This project has also been developed not to affect your present job nor bring about any form of stress. Meanwhile, this job offer is legal and there is no start up cost required. Anyways, to get started is free and easy. Your commission is a constant fee that is dependent on how long you are ready to work with our Company. Presently, we have just been granted a funding to head a research project in United Kingdom and this would be commencing very soon. However the funding were made mostly in US based certified cashier checks, as regards the source of funding of this project. Also, we can assure you that your insurance, Health and housing allowance will be catered for (Effective after 1 months of Application).

This is acknowledged as part of our policy. Your willing to work as a Payment representative will help and safe time so that this project can be concluded as soon as possible. We are willing to accept your application on contract basis as a staff of our company to be our payment representative in the United States this way we could have our clients issue out payments to you, so you could cash them easily, deduct 10% of the total amount on these payments as your commission and then send the remainder balance through Money transfer.

We are sending you this offer as we need to keep this programme running. We would be glad if you accept our proposal as we intend to commence payment as soon as you are ready. If interested, do fill the Application Form below and have it send to: (cocacolajobofferathotmail.co.uk), then we'll make the concluding arrangements on how you'll get started soon.

Information included in this application form is CONFIDENTIAL between you and our company, and the full name and contact info should be included as it should be written on the payments being issued to you, also include a valid phone number for quick communications. You are to deduct 10% of all funds processed on a particular order and forward the balance payment via Money Transfer as we will be instructing you on receipt of payment. You will notify us a week ahead if eventually you want to discontinue this job so as to terminate all payment coming your way to avoid conflict.

Thank you very much and we anticipate your working with The Coca - Cola Company.

The coke letter got my attention because I have one of their old phone numbers.
I used to get the odd phone call.
I still get calls for American Mercantile.
Could be worse.

Latest mail
______________________________________

Your Email address has won $500,000.00 USD!!

From:
"AUSTRALIAN LOTTERY INC" <aulotto>

Congratulations!!!

Your Email Address won the sum of US$500,000.00 in the Australian Lotto conducted through Electronic ballot from email addresses from different companies in the world.fill the form and also send code "344521" immediately to Mr. John England at: jedorfen@gmail.com for payment now.

We are please to inform you today 7th August 2010,That your email address has won the Sum of $400,000.00 USD (Four Hundred Thousand U.S. dollars ONLY) from Australian International Lottery Program.To receive this sum,You will Contact the transferring bank where this year's Lottery was Coordinated along with the below information's:

Strangely enough, I've never had one bit of funny business concerned with Craigslist. I both buy and sell. I send money a 1000 miles away and show up weeks later to pick up my stuff. Nary a problem.

If you're waiting for your ship to come in, this might be your answer.

My Dearest,

I am writing this mail to you With due respect trust and humanity, i appeal to you to exercise a little patience and read through my letter i feel quite safe dealing with you in this important business having gone through your remarkable profile, honestly i am writing this email to you with pains, tears and sorrow from my heart, i will really like to have a good relationship with you and i have a special reason why i decided to contact you, i decided to contact you due to the urgency of my situation, My name is Miss. Alice Kipkalya Kones, 25yrs old female and I from Kenya in Africa. My father was the former Kenyan road Minister. He and Assistant Minister of Home Affairs Lorna Laboso had been on board the Cessna 210, which was headed to Kericho and crashed in a remote area called Kajong'a, in western Kenya .. The plane crashed on the Tuesday 10th, June, 2008.... You can read more about the crash through the below site:http://edition.cnn.com/ 2008/WORLD/africa/06/10/kenya. crash/index.html

After the burial of my father, my stepmother and uncle conspired and sold my father's property to an Italian Expertrate which the shared the money among themselves and live nothing for me. One faithful morning, I opened my father's briefcase and found out the documents which he have deposited huge amount of money in one bank in Burkina Faso with my name as the next of kin. I travelled to Burkina Faso to withdraw the money for a better life so that I can take care of myself and start a new life, on my arrival, the Bank Director whom I met in person told me that my father's instruction to the bank is that the money would only be release to me when I am married or present a trustee who will help me and invest the money overseas... I am in search of an honest and reliable person who will help me and stand as my trustee so that I will present him to the Bank for transfer of the money to his bank account overseas.

I have chosen to contact you after my prayers and I believe that you will not betray my trust. But rather take me as your own sister. Though you may wonder why I am so soon revealing myself to you without knowing you, well I will say that my mind convinced me that you may be the true person to help me.. Moreover, I will like to disclose much to you if you can help me to relocate to your country because my stepmothers have threatened to assinate me. The amount is( $9.4 USD )Million United State Dollars, and I have confirmed from the bank in Burkina Faso on my arrival, You will also help me to place the money in a more profitable business venture in your Country. However, you will help by recommending a nice University in your country so that I can complete my studies. It is my intention to compensate you with 40% of the total money for your services and the balance shall be my capital in your establishment. As soon as I receive your positive response showing your interest I will put things into action immediately. In the light of the above, I shall appreciate an urgent message indicating your ability and willingness to handle this transaction sincerely. Awaiting your urgent and positive response. Please do keep this only to your self for now until the bank will transfer the fund. I beg you not to disclose it till i come over because I am afraid of my wreaked stepmother who has threatened to kill me and have the money alone ,I thank God Today that am out from my country (KENYA) but now In (Burkina Faso) where my father deposited these money with my name as the next of Kin.. I have the documents for the claims.

Yours Sincerely Alice Kipkalya Kones.

I don't post things because I believe that they are the absolute truth. I post them because I believe that they should be considered.

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RE:RELEASE OF CONSIGNMENT BOXES/FUNDS.
ATTN: SIR/MA,
THIS IS TO BRING TO YOUR NOTICE ALL THE FOREIGN CONSIGNEE;THAT AFTER THE BOARD MEETING WHICH WAS HELD BY UNITED NATION AND ECOWAS BOARD MEMBERS,IN COLLABORATION WITH THE G8-COMMITTEE IN AFRICA,WE ARE GIVEN YOU THIS OPPORTUNITY TO RECEIVE YOUR CONSIGNMENT/FUNDS WHICH HAS BEEN HELD FOR LONG PERIOD OF TIME DUE TO YOUR WRONG DEALINGS WITH NONE OFFICIALS AND NONE GOVERNMENTAL DOCUMENTATION, AND WE LIKE YOU TO FOLLOW UP OUR INSTRUCTION NOW THAT UNITED NATION/AFRICA UNION HAS FINALLY APPROVED THE RELEASE OF YOUR FUND.
UNITED NATIONS HAS DECIDED TO RELEASE THESE BOXES/FUNDS, DUE TO THE REPORTS THAT FOREIGN CONTRACTORS/INHERITORS LIKE YOU WHO'S CONSIGNMENTS AND FUNDS HAVE SINCE BEEN CEASED FOR LONG PERIOD OF TIME DUE TO SOME DOCUMENTS AND CLEARANCE THAT WAS NOT LEGALLY APPROVED.
THE WOULD HAVE BEEN RELEASED TO YOU SINCE, BUT YOU NEVER CAME FOR YOUR CLAIMS THROUGH THE APPROVED OFFICE, IF YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO RECEIVE YOU MONEY NOW FURNISH US WITH THE BELOW LISTED INFORMATION'S SO WE CAN ACTUALLY AFFECT THE TRANSFER/DELIVERY OF YOUR CONSIGNMENT TO YOU WITHOUT ANY FURTHER DELAY.
(1) COPY OF YOUR INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT OR DRIVERS LICENSE......
(2) YOUR CONTACT ADDRESS:......................
(3) YOUR TELEPHONE/FAX NUMBER:.................
(4) YOUR MOBILE CELL NUMBER....................
(5) OCCUPATION:................................
(6) COMPANY'S NAME (IF ANY): ..................
(7) SEX/AGE: ..................................

GET BACK TO US ASAP. ONCE WE RECEIVE THE ABOVE REQUIRED INFORMATION'S WE WILL START ALL PROCESS ON YOUR NAME FOR SUCCESSFULLY TRANSFER/DELIVERY WITHOUT ANY-INTERFERENCE.

I am Capt. Mathew Stamford presently in Afghanistan , with the United States Marine Corps (USMC). I found $900,000.00 and need someone i can trust to receive it on mybehalf upon its evacuation from Kabul. I cannot do this alone and am ready to take a chance on you.

Please contact me on mat-stamford@hotmail.co.uk if you are interested and ill tell you how i came about this money and how ill want you to come in.

i was sent this one last time the husband was in afghanistan. caught me by surprise, so i saved it. o_0?

Greetings!
I was suppose to receive a call from you, in-regard of your package. Well I deposited the package with AIR ROAD EXPRESS LTD. United Kingdom. because i don't have your account number.So i was able to come up with $550,000.00,I will be traveling out of the country and I will not be back until six(6) Months Times.

So you are advised to get in contact with AIR ROAD EXPRESS LTD. as soon as possible to know when they will be making delivery your package to you because of the expiring date on the Cheque. For your information, I have paid for the delivery Charge, Insurance premium and Clearance Certificate Fee of the Cheque showing that it is not a Drug Money or meant to sponsor Terrorist attack in your Country.

The only fees you will be required to send to AIR ROAD EXPRESS LTD. to enable them make delivery of your Bank Draft direct to your postal Address in your country is ($185.00) Dollars only being Security Keeping Fee of the Courier Company so far.
Again, I would have make the payment but i was told that they
don't know when you will be contact them and in case of demurrage.

You have to contact the AIR ROAD EXPRESS LTD now WITH YOUR
FULL NAME;,FULL CONTACT ADDRESS: AND PHONE NUMBER: for the delivery of your Draft with this information bellow:

Finally, make sure that you reconfirm your Postal address and Direct
telephone number to them again to avoid any mistake on the Delivery and
ask them to give you the tracking number to enable you track your
package over there and know when it will get to your address. Let me repeat
again,try to contact them as soon as you receive this mail to avoid any
further delay and remember to pay them their Security Keeping fee of
$185.00 for their immediate action. You should also
let me know through email as soon as you receive your Draft.

Yours Faithfully,
Mrs. Edith M. Turner

I had a great one scolding me and "demanding that I avoid the Nigerian scams" but I deleted it.

Suck it."They're like a bunch of Honey Badgers in a sea of hippies." -Goathead