Tuesday, May 27 2008 - Editorial from a Parent

I have never liked it when people say, “Until you’re a parent, you don’t know (fill in the blank)” as if all non-parents are ignorant or blissful or all parents can claim vast stretches of experience and knowledge (if only, right?) or suffering, but I did get to thinking about Dawn saying, self-critically, that “I have the same 24 hours that everyone else does” and, no, she actually doesn’t. You don’t have the same 24 hours when you are a caregiver to another person or people. That’s not an excuse for anything, just a reality that I think it would help me, anyway, to stop belittling or ignoring. Its just plain old harder to get things done when you are responsible for another human being. Period. You (meaning me) have to prioritize. The subsequent reality is that even if you prioritize, sometimes you still can’t fit in exercise or reading or cooking from scratch or whatever it is that is being squeezed. I, for one, don’t recommend giving up sleep or socializing, which seem to be the first things to go. Both those things keep me sane, which benefits my children and spouse. Anyway, just an editorial from a parent. (I cringe a bit to remember the severely militant “do it or shut up” days of my first experience with the CK community. Not many of us were parents or caregivers, then.)

Will has started using the words “actually” and “probably” and “otherwise”. I was going to write, “He doesn’t know what they mean, though” but realized that that is a) dumb and b) he is using them correctly, so how that can be “not knowing what they mean” is a bit of a mystery. He told me this weekend that he was “cooperating”. Of course, you have to have the Will-speak translation manual to realize he is saying “actually” and “cooperating” but I own the copyright on the manual, so we’re good. He was so proud of me when I realized he was saying, “umbrella” – he gave me context and description, and I figured it out. I was proud of me, too, but it was fun (okay, flattering) to see Will pleased with my performance.

Angel-butt (as Steve calls her) slept for 5.5 straight on Friday night, and (drumroll) 7 hours straight last night! Yippee! I said to Steve, “I could see having more babies if we produced any that slept through the night sooner. Since we don’t, we probably shouldn’t. I bet the people with tons of kids are the ones that slept through the night after the first few weeks.” He agreed. Ellen turned 5 months old this weekend. She laughed again. One laugh, and I couldn’t get her to reproduce it. She is just starting to understand peekaboo. I think she’ll start laughing more when she understands peekaboo better. Right now she looks slightly puzzled, as in “What the #$%^ are doing, Mama? Its just not as funny as you seem to think it is.”

It is amazing how quickly you pick up on their own little language! I think I may have posted about Maya's (mis)use of the words privacy/surprise/secret. It's SO cute! I remember being taken aback when Maya used the word cooperate, too. I :love: this stage!! Have a good day, Lynn -- and I agree with your first paragraph, too....it's NOT easy...and while we all have 24 hours in a day, some (as you state) are filled with meeting the demands of others ... the smaller they are, they louder the demands! :laugh5:

I've always tried to limit myself to giving advice to parents exactly for that reason, though I tend to believe I have some pretty darn good parenting advice to give. we'll see if it works on my own child. =D I would love to see Ellen's "WTF" look!