Commentary on popular culture and society, from a (mostly) psychological perspective

Friday, March 18, 2011

"A Voice for Men" radio show

A new radio show called "A Voice for Men" that focuses on men's issues is up and running with Paul Elam as the host (thanks to the commenter and reader who emailed this). The show coming up on March 22nd features Dr. Tara Palmatier, a psychotherapist and the no nonsense founder of shrink4men.com who joins Elam to talk about women with personality disorders and the men whose lives they often ruin. Palmatier is taking questions for this upcoming show here.

23 Comments:

I founded False Rape Society. Paul graciously featured my blogging partner, Steve Berkimer, this past Tuesday on his show. and they had people waiting on the lines for the entire two hours the show ran. It is one thing to read about these issues on a cold, lifeless computer screen. It is quite another to hear a cavalcade of intelligent people making reasonable points that are difficult to plausibly argue against. If you've heard it, you'll know what I'm talking about. This show will garner more converts to the men's movement than any ten blogs.

Hi Dr. Helen, I checked out "A Voice For Men," and it lays out a very powerful case for the injustices against men in our society. I am very lucky to have a wife that I adore and who loves me, but so many men are less fortunate than I. I have heard my mother say that all men are rapists. Naturally, this hasn't helped our relationship.

Please accept my thanks for the mention of my radio program on your blog, and for your fine work.

A Voice for Men Radio was established to do something unprecedented, namely to give men a venue to speak to each other and to the world at large about the aspects of their lives that are ignored by the mainstream media and the culture around them.

I have been shocked and humbled by what has been created. It struck me near the end of the second show that the program was already more than I could have expected.

Men, long saddled with the stereotype of being uncommunicative and detached from their own emotions, are ripping that myth to shreds and laying their suffering, along with their hopes and aspirations, right on the table.

I watched the "Male Bashing" video and have a few notes. First I agree in principle that men and men's issues should rightfully be a focus of concern. At the same time, I think it's a grave mistake to contrast that movement against the backdrop of the women's movement, i.e. feminism. I realize that feminism has gotten a bad name, especially on the right; however, I don't think anyone can deny that women have historically had very justifiable grievances. It's a mistake to make an enemy of feminism, which actually already aspires to be an inclusive study of gender -- though admittedly there are more radical factions of it that will tend to distract you from this fact. Second, many of the issues raised in the video are actually complaints against male abuse that is perpetrated primarily by males. The US military is quite obviously male dominated, and much resistance to sharing the burden of military toll is generated solely by men within the military. Another example: it is quite obvious that many or most advocates of male circumcision are men.

The real question here is this: why are men societally against men? It's within the framework of this question that you really have to face the issues that feminism has been attempting to address for fifty years. Why do the gender roles that society dictates have such control over us?

"I don't think anyone can deny that women have historically had very justifiable grievances."

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And so have men. I don't know if not having the vote is worse than slowly bleeding to death in incredible pain with blown-off legs on a battlefield after being forcibly conscripted at the point of a gun. Your guess is as good as mine as to which is worse.

None of us were around 100 or 200 or 300 years ago, so there is also the slight matter of not exactly knowing how things REALLY were. I known that women have always had power based on manipulation, sex and male chivalry.

Just because women use manipulation and shame as tools (i.e. "feminism") and men don't to the same extent doesn't mean that all grievances have substance.

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"... why are men societally against men?"

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THAT'S what men have to start working against: Chivalrous men. Like Joe Biden. They are responsible for the state of men, not feminists.

If a critical mass of men simply saw the shaming and manipulation of feminists and women in general for what it is - and laughed at it - feminists and women in general would have NO power to manipulate.

"I don't think anyone can deny that women have historically had very justifiable grievances."

I can. And I do routinely with earnest zeal.

It's called LIFE, honey. And it ain't fair to anyone. Grow the F up and learn to deal with it.

There never was an all-oppressive cabal of patriarchy keeping women down [Herb Goldberg, Warren Farrell, Roy Baumeister]. You aren't special, you aren't precious, and you never were. You're just part of the program as we are, and the most lucrative talent you have is complaining.

That's why Oprah's a billionaire.

I've read books on evolutionary psychology, gene mapping and female hypergamy. I am, and have always, been of the opinion that men and women have been BEST FRIENDS for over a quarter million years.

But for the last 40, women have decided that men suck underwater on wheat toast and they have thrived on that. I'm sick of it. I have never and never will blame women for my lot in life. Women have always been a blessing to me.

But I yearn for the day that there is an open season on on feminists. Just one.

What feminism is today is a superiority movement, not an equality movement. They are going to try to get anything possible for women using shame, guilt and manipulation, and they don't have the slightest inclination to be fair about it.

First, I think it's great for someone to have a radio show devoted to men's issues. However, I think declaring that you're going to create a "nightmare for the architects of feminism" and we're going to "hear the destruction of feminism" is... erm... a bad idea. First, it's antagonistic. Second, it everything that's wrong with modern feminism. Modern feminism doesn't focus on raising women up for the benefit of society (classical feminism), it focuses on destroying men.

I'll keep listening, and give you a fair shake. Honestly though, I don't have any interest in "destroying feminism", I just want my rights and priveleges. This is sounding like a classic mistake that Modern Feminists and Liberals make, that the pie is finite. In order to get what we want, we have to take it away from women. That's the same story Feminism has been selling for the last 30 or so years. It's crap.

The problem is that you may find out that getting "rights" as a man DOES conflict with feminism and what feminists want. To get more concrete, feminists (and many women in general) still want men to meet their traditional obligations. Women have rights and men have responsibilities.

I appreciate your listening, and your comment, but I do find it a little confusing:

"Honestly though, I don't have any interest in "destroying feminism", I just want my rights and priveleges."

It seems to me that your statement is a contradiction.

My experience is that there are many camps in the MRM, one of the more rapidly growing being men and women who see feminism, as it is now practiced in areas that matter, as a hate movement bent on female elitism and privilege. And they regard it, in that light, no differently than they do racism's era of Jim Crow.

I belong to that group, so any thoughts of PC constraints on how I view feminism or the message of the show are pretty much antithetical to the mission.

I believe very much in equal rights under the law. (and note: I am not even interested in any kind of privilege.) For that reason I view feminism as an evil that warrants destruction.

If women listen to it, great, or... whatever. As for me, I do not need an man Oprah, I do not need coddled, I don't want someone to hold my hand and cry with. All I want is politicians who completely get rid of egalitarianism. Women worked before it and would work after it, but without any of the coddling, special (super-equal) rights or protections, and at the pay they deserver according to time served, attendance, etc. (like everyone else). Which will probably make work much less... gratifying.

I hope you can understand but am not really worried about you in either case. I won't listen to a durned thing telling me how to be a man, that being a man is good, or advising me on how to interact with women. I just want the government, and everyone else, to get out of the way, drop the advice, and clear out. So many people are so into reality type tv, I suppose some might actually need help in the morass, though. If so... I don't think anything will help them. Give em' a vasectomy and their stupid card, and get them in line for the soup kitchen.

I'm gratified that women like Dr. Helen and men like Paul Elam are giving voice to men who've suffered injustices in today's female-centered culture, but I have a very fundamental question: What exactly is being done about this? What friends do we have in Congress, or even in the state legislatures, who are advocating for men falsely accused of rape, or dads who are wrongly separately from their children during divorce? Who is working to change the laws so that men will be treated with justice? Who are our advocates at that level?