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Wednesday, September 18, 2013

It is Not Okay

Gregg and I are in a unique situation. The birth mom of our daughter is pregnant again and plans to place her child with us. With this unique situation has come many comments from the peanut gallery. Maybe it's because they baby is coming very soon and my emotions are high or maybe it's the UNBELIEVABLE comment I got the other day, but I am through with it. So please let me clear the air here for a minute.

We love M unconditionally. Yes, we do. So any negative comments about her are unwelcome and frankly makes me look down on you.

A family doesn't have to share the same genes to be a family, but we think it's pretty remarkable that our children will be biological siblings. We never thought that would happen when we chose to adopt so we think it's pretty special.

It is rude and offensive to not only M, but us to say M needs to get her tubes tied. Um, hello! We wouldn't be expanding our family right now if it wasn't for her. Us along with M feel this is God's plan for us.

We did not call M up and "order" another baby. And no, that's not funny. I know funny.

This situation is not easy for M nor will it be easy for her to place a child for adoption again. Adoption really is about love. It's not M's birth control. Her pain is real. We watched her place Em with us. To witness that kind of heartache was the hardest thing I ever went through. I can't imagine what it felt like for her. It hurts my heart thinking of it now. I talk of it very seldom and with few people because of how sacred it is to me. I respect M enough not to share that part of the story with just anyone. Especially people who make stupid remarks. I dare you to trade shoes with her. Would you be strong enough?

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This blog is about my VIEW of being married to a grad student, mommy through adoption, open adoption, and surviving parenthood. My daughter was recently diagnosed with ADHD and we are learning more together every day. I'm not a perfect mom, just a real one. Let's chat about it.