Ask Flora

Dear Goddess Flora, I recently had a very upsetting break-up with an old, old friend; she judged me harshly for an act I thought was a good deed and an act of integrity. Although I know how to process upsets pretty well, I can’t seem to shake my obsession with the deep and dark feelings trailing after this one … I have pretty successfully gotten past it (made my apologies and pretty much brought myself back into my center, because I felt I acted truly in the original experience), but she is still holding the anger and judgment toward me, and holding that the friendship is over. What would you suggest for me to get past the trails of disappointment, sadness, not feeling seen, and missing her that seem to be hanging on in my feelings? Sincerely, Nancy

Dear Nancy, Your empowering insight is a perfect place to begin. You said, “Although I know how to process upsets pretty well, I can’t seem to shake my obsession with the deep and dark feelings trailing after this one.” Your “obsession” demonstrates your strong desire to shed light on the challenging feelings presenting, and to understand their message.

Despite your sincere and good intentions—making apologies and bringing yourself back into your center—your unresolved feelings of disappointment, sadness, not feeling seen, and missing your long-time friend signal unresolved emotional pain. This devoted messenger—pain—has set up camp in your heart center, and is awaiting your acceptance of its invitation.

If you are willing, accept the invitation, but before opening to its message, experiment with this exercise: Tenderly gather up any judgments, opinions, expectations, or blame that may be swirling around in your thoughts, and lovingly deliver them to the center of your heart–and leave them there, with thanks. Your heart will know what to do with them.

Now, let’s have a look at that invitation! Is it an invitation to deepen your spiritual understanding of love and freedom, or to reflect upon long-held themes of enmeshment or co-dependency? Are you being prompted to recognize and accept this friendship has come to an end, or is this experience a call to bring greater balance in the exchange of heart energies within your friendship? Are you being invited to refine your abilities to differentiate your feelings from the feelings of others, or to deepen your practice of balancing power and love? Or, perhaps this soulful invitation encompasses all of these themes. As you reflect upon these and other possibilities, repeat the exercise described above as often as needed. The voice of your heart will let you know all the details of the invitation.

Dear Nancy, call upon the exquisite Sacred Heart flower essence formula to cleanse and strengthen your heart. Consider receiving this blend four times a day until the bottle is empty. I am confident this heart-centered formula will facilitate you in transforming this break-up to a break-through, and will empower you to move through your painful feelings of broken-heartedness into liberating and compassionate feelings of open-heartedness—toward your Self and your friend. All Love to your Sacred Heart, Nancy, and to your friend’s as well!

About Jane Ellen

Download Jane's free Flower Essence eBook here. Jane’s professional relationship with Flower Essences began in 2003 through her completion of the Practitioner Training program with the Flower Essence Society (FES), and continued through six years of serving clients to becoming a Certified Flower Essence Practitioner in 2009. She was invited by one of the co-founders of FES, Patricia Kaminski, to be a guest presenter at the Advanced Practitioner Training and after years of collaborative relationship with FES, was invited to formulate and name two hospice formulas for the FES line of pre-made formulas. Through five years of community service and pilot studies, the Peace-full formula and the Compassionate Care-Giver formula were created. Jane’s ongoing Flower Essence practice is further enhanced by her background in Intuitive Readings, Hakomi Integrative Somatics for trauma recovery, Non-Violent Communication, Mediation, Polarity Therapy. You may contact Jane through her website.

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