How to Make Over Your Resume: Real World Example #2

Now I want to take a step up and show you how to revamp your resume if you’re at the manager level.

Now, you won’t be able to do everything I did, because your situation will be different and there’s no such thing as a resume template that works for everyone. But hopefully my approach will give you some ideas and inspiration.

Nothing will have a greater impact on your job search than turning an average resume into a compelling marketing document. Nothing! Time and again we hear from clients who got a great response the minute they started using their new Blue Sky resume, or from readers of my DIY Guide to Resume Writing, who rewrote their own resume following my system. The feedback is almost always the same – ‘wow, I wasn’t getting any responses and now I am.’

Achieving these results isn’t rocket science. You just have to apply some straightforward principles, so let me show you how.

The Original Resume

The resume we’re going to look at was written for a real client, but every identifying detail has been changed to protect his confidentiality. The real names don’t matter – what’s important is the strategy.

Let’s start with the first page of the resume Terius was using when he first came to us.

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Terius loved what he had been doing and wanted to stay in the same field, but wasn’t getting any responses. I knew why as soon as I saw this resume. It has some strong points – it is neat and organized, it starts with an introduction and Terius has tried to show impact and accomplishment in his most recent position.

But there was so much more that could be done.

The first problem was the introduction. The long laundry list of strengths seemed unfocused and, well, long! Would any recruiter really read all that? And if they did, how would they know what to think? In truth, if you present so many strong points, each one dilutes all the others. So it’s better to decide on the three or four key points you want to make and then write an introduction that covers those.

It’s also important to inject some personality into your resume, but Terius has used words and phrases that have been used over and over again on resumes – so many times that they have lost all meaning. They say nothing about what makes him special and nothing that would persuade a recruiter to pick up the phone and call him.

I also felt the descriptions of each of his jobs were letting him down. He had made an incredible difference at South Shore Medical Center but that wasn’t coming across clearly.

How the problems were addressed

First, I wrote a headline and sub-header that communicated exactly who Terius was and what he had to offer.

Next I described his personal style, and included details such as the fact that he was known to hospitals all over the area.

To support his sales pitch, I included two LinkedIn testimonials written by people who worked with him and I chose quotes that expressed his individuality and personal style.

Finally, I revamped his job description and accomplishment bullet points by including the context and challenges he faced when he started the job. All managers have to address problems and challenges, and if your resume shows that you can do that, you’ll jump ahead of the other candidates.

The Revised Resume

You can see that Terius looks like a different person now. Recruiters and hiring managers can clearly see everything he has to offer, and can easily understand what makes him different from other purchasing managers.

You can do the same for your own resume – and you owe it to yourself to do it! If you’re ready to revitalize your job search, sign up for our free resume writing course (absolutely no spam and complete privacy). Or if you need step-by-step help in writing your resume, check out The Blue Sky Guide to Resume Writing. In this downloadable eBook, I walk you through the entire resume creation process from start to finish, just as I did in this blog post. Your resume will never be the same again!

Louise co-founded Blue Sky in 2002 after a career as an HR executive. Her industry experience includes music, video games, fashion and advertising. She lived and worked in the US for many years, but moved back to her native UK in 2012, where she now lives in the Yorkshire countryside. In addition to her full-time role with Blue Sky, she's a professional artist, so you can imagine why she couldn't answer the 'what do you do with your free time' question! Contact Louise by email.