The Ex-wife and her Ex-boyfriend

Ryan Reynolds woke up with a new wife this morning. His ex-wife Scarlett Johansson woke up to pictures of herself holding hands with her ex-boyfriend Jared Leto at the DNC last week. Scarjo’s rep says it’s totally platonic and that everyone should focus on why she was there and her speech and the President, but still, they were holding hands and they used to be lovers and so, of course, of course we’re talking about it. Especially now. Because it’s the timing too, isn’t it? Blake just married Ryan. Again, as I’ve said, if there is a place where angels write gossip, they’re being very generous right now.

You know, I actually believe that the handholding is as she claims it to be -- friendly and innocent. Because you know how f-cking weird she is about being in public with her bonafides. There is no way, if she and that dickhead Leto were together again, that she’d bring him into an auditorium with tens of thousands of people and then put her hand in his for a display of romantic love. She would never, ever give anyone the satisfaction.

As for how she must be reacting to the news...

Well...

I want badly to believe that it doesn’t have to be that way. That it doesn’t have to be so derivative. That the one who came before doesn’t have to be the loser. Like, if we’re calling SCARLETT JOHANSSON a loser, I feel like there may never be hope for us, you know?