A satirical blog about media, marketing, advertising, politics, pop culture, etc. All references to actual companies, products, people, etc. is for the purpose of parody. All writing is copyright by Greg Medernach, and is mostly intended as absurdist humor, and as a portfolio of comedy and creative advertising material. Questions and Comments: unconditionedresponse@yahoo.com

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

NPR and Hostile Design

I heard the tease for a report on NPR in the car this
morning about what they claim is “hostile design” in malls and businesses:
examples include lighting that accentuates acne on teenagers’ faces and classical
music played in stores to discourage loitering (really: NPR considers playing
classical music in a mall or store to be an example of hostility? It couldn’t
be a personal preference of the owner? Or maybe they want to make the place
more inviting to older customers who have more money and are more likely to buy
more expensive items?), and even more egregiously, lighting in business
bathrooms that make it hard for heroin addicts to find their veins so it is
difficult for them to inject their drugs in the bathroom.

I agree, especially about the lighting that discourages
heroin injecting. This is clearly discrimination against junkies, and it must
stop! What are addicts supposed to do: snort their drugs? That’s cheating! In
fact, I don’t think NPR’s criticism goes far enough! Businesses must install
dispensers filled with free heroin, spoons, lighters, and clean syringes, or
else they should be forcibly closed by the government!

I love NPR, but sometimes the things they advocate for and
display outrage about are kind of silly. Take the heroin-proof lighting in
bathrooms. They really think it’s in bad taste to discourage junkies from
hanging around businesses and shooting up in the bathrooms? They are aware that
junkies are notorious for criminal activity, aren’t they? That might drive away
actual customers and put the business out of business. Also, if a business
creates a bathroom environment that intentionally encourages heroin injecting,
junkies are likely to pass out or die in the bathroom, when one considers the
reputed potency of today’s heroin, and the reported inclusion of fentanyl in
street supplies these days. I could totally see some lawsuit for wrongful death
being brought against a business by a family whose son or daughter died from a heroin
overdose in the bathroom because they didn’t include lighting that discourages
drug injecting. In today’s American society, nothing is the individual’s fault
anymore; if you drank too much and wrecked your car, it’s the bar or distillery’s
fault; if you bought a gun and accidentally shot yourself, it’s the gun’s or
the bullet’s fault; if you blasted your headphones and got ringing in your
ears, it’s the headphones’ fault. In this environment of greedy lawyers and
passing the buck, businesses have to defend themselves against all kinds of
potential liability, and if NPR can’t see that, then they are truly blind about
today’s societal realities.