Relationships MS

A diagnosis of
multiple sclerosis (MS)
can present profound
challenges to a relationship. After a companion's diagnosis,
a partner may experience his or her own grieving process and may
even feel guilty about his or her own good health.

Communication is a key component in dealing with the added
stress MS may create in a relationship. Openly discussing feelings and thoughts can help couples avoid frustration and
alleviate some of the strain they may be experiencing.

Fatigue

A person with MS will experience fatigue, from general tiredness
to extreme exhaustion. Fatigue may be triggered by physical
exertion and improve with rest, or it may take the form of a
constant and persistent tiredness. This has an effect on
day-to-day life.

Activities that once seemed simple—like grocery shopping,
vacuuming, or walking the dog—may now seem overwhelming. If
possible, hiring some temporary help may be the answer. If
not, reallocation of chores and using time wisely will help reduce
the stress and enable couples to work together.

Activities

Another difficulty a couple may encounter is a decrease in
commonly shared activities. As the severity of symptoms
increase, couples may have a hard time finding things they can do
together. More rigorous
activities, like bike riding or hiking, may be too difficult.
It is important to not stop shared activities though—try taking a
walk or reading a book together.

Attempting to continue normal activities as best as possible is important. There may be times when the person with MS may also not be able to carry out the activities she or he once were able to do. This may mean that the partner may need to help out. This may cause strain on the relationship, especially if the partner begins to feel more like a caregiver. Therefore it is vital to find balance in the relationship in order to preserve closeness and ease strain. Realizing and coming to terms with the changes MS brings will help both partners accept the situation. It is important to always keep in mind that MS need not be the focus of a relationship, but just one aspect of it.

Sex Life

Many couples will encounter sexual adjustment problems. Men may experience
impotence, and women may have problems with vaginal dryness. A doctor can help. If possible, the couple should talk to the doctor together, which will help both partners feel more comfortable. Many of the problems can be treated with medications or other remedies.

Changing Roles

Prior to the onset of MS, couples saw each other in numerous
roles—friend, lover, confidant. An important step in keeping
a relationship strong is accepting how these roles may change with
the introduction of MS. A partner who was once independent
and outgoing may become reclusive and even
depressed
after an MS
diagnosis. Recognizing how this may affect a relationship,
determining the potential weaknesses it may cause, and developing
appropriate responses will help strengthen the
relationship.

Dealing with each situation as it arises will help the couple
from feeling too overwhelmed. Set reasonable goals and have
realistic expectations. Life with MS will be different, but
open communication can help. Both partners will need to be
patient, supportive, and understanding. In addition, support
groups and counseling may help people with MS and their families find
ways to cope with the changes MS may bring.

Revision Information

This content is reviewed regularly and is updated when new and relevant evidence is made available. This information is neither intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider prior to starting any new treatment or with questions regarding a medical condition.