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Please Note: This article is just the beginning of James expressing this internal beast to others. He continues to write on the topic of homosexuality and faith at his blog. Catch up on the discussion there!

Allah’u’abha! I am a 41 year-old third-generation Baha’i. I’m also gay. On the six-point Kinsey scale I eventually nailed myself as 4.5, which is at about the 75 percent mark across the scale (0 totally straight, 3 bisexual, and 6 totally homosexual). Sadly, this means to me that 75 percent or so of my sexual interest is devoted towards men. Woops, I am one, and people have a problem with that

I met a Baha’i recently who told me he had — living in Seattle — never even met a gay Baha’i, and so after some thought, I’ve decided to share a little of my journey from a man that has had homosexual feelings since before puberty, hated himself for them fiercely, and come out alive on the other side to write this.

Just a little background about me: like others in this country who went to school in the 1980s or prior, I was taught by American society that a man being attracted to men was considered morally wrong before I even knew to associate that concept with myself. When later I finally had accept in myself an innate attraction to other men, you can imagine the impact on my self-worth as I had to accept that my brand-new sex drive as a young man, such a part of any young man’s excitement when embarking towards manhood, was broken.

In high school I frequented libraries looking up with fierce — but ultimately futile — hopes that I would find evidence this hated trait was a phase I would grow out of or a condition that I could be cured of. Come to find out that curing doesn’t work, and overwhelmingly hurts those who try, increasing suicidal ideation when relapsing, and so forth.

“Okay,” I realized at some point, “So my unbidden but immovable homosexual desires are evil… gotcha. What did I do to be born evil again? Do I have to stay evil? Or can I just hide being evil and pretend to be good?” This latter means doing what gay men had done throughout the ages, hide it like crazy, deny it, have sex in secret, and marry a woman to really hide it? Sorry, to me that latter seems more evil than having sex with men.

I realize that to live with a man and have an emotional and sexual relationship with him _is_ a life choice and one forbidden in the Faith. I maintain that in my case, at least the attraction is _not_ a choice: who (in the 1980s, at least) would choose to be a kind of societal leper? Not I.

Sadly, sexuality is not changeable by human means, at least not at this time in history, and few of us have the spiritual capacity to just ignore our inner desires altogether. You can deprioritize sex and fantasies in your head to a degree, sure, but it’s always there in the background. And, because as far as you know you were born this way like myself — that is, not molded in such fashion by molestation or other abusive means – you have to then transfer the hatred of the characteristic with yourself, because you have it.

So, over the years I did some reading, and successively found what I was looking for layer by layer. First I found that Shoghi Effendi interpreted Baha’u’llah’s law against pederasty as also against Baha’is having homosexual sex. I’ve talked to gay Baha’is or straight non-Baha’is that are interested in the Faith but can’t get past what they see to be a denial of human rights and bigoted.

But read further, and the Guardian also said if we’re to start sanctioning Baha’is who engage in homosexual sex, we’ll also have to start sanctioning Baha’is who have extramarital heterosexual sex and Baha’is who commit adultery, and he noted that at that time – which he called a “low water mark in spiritual history” – to engage in such sanctioning would be “ridiculous.”

Against Baha’i law as it is, seeing homosexual sex listed alongside extramarital heterosexual sex for the first time in my life in any context, and it makes perfect sense suddenly to me. How many do you know who married as a virgin? Not many? Me either. I can’t recall any, actually. Thinking about it, extramarital sex in this country is the norm, not the exception, and virgins are hard to find these days.

Is this, then, an indication that even if I do have sex with a man, that’s not so different than two heterosexuals having sex outside of marriage; against the law, certainly, but not such a huge deal I should — or anyone should — hate me for it? That sounds more right to me.

I’m clearer now that Baha’u’llah’s laws are to protect all mankind, world over, and to promote the betterment of the entire world. Looking at it, created as we were said to have been by God with love, out of love, to love him in return and serve your fellow mankind. It sounds more reasonable, then, that Baha’u’llah gave us these laws to avoid self-harm on our part; a sort of fence of guidelines that we’re more than welcome to walk out of, but the path is likely gonna be rockier there. If these laws were, then, given to us as a loving parent gives rules to a beloved child that they don’t want to see get hurt, not random torments to suffer under.

Ultimately I know I have to choose a man or a woman, and know and accept that I am giving up something dear to me either way. Either I go against my sexual preference and try and find myself a female mate who’ll actually want me after being honest with her about my history and sexuality, or I will choose a good man, and in so doing lose the potential for a husband and wife family team, which I do see great value in for those capable, it’s clearly much harder to have biological babies for obvious reasons, and not least having to potentially deal with anti-gay bigotry that is not gone just because of legalized gay marriage. It’ll go underground more, but it’s not gone.

Thankfully, after this journey through Baha’i writings and my own conscience, soul, and moral compass, it’s finally becoming evident to my heart and mind that I am not defined solely or even mostly by my sexuality, not, at least, by Baha’u’llah. And as a man, gay or not, I need to love all of me, even the parts I may not like or understand — because even those parts may prove to have hidden value. Would I be writing to you now this very personal facet of myself that will likely make at least one person who sees it here uncomfortable? No, I’m not a sadist. However, maybe I can help reach the next gay Baha’i I meet as disillusioned and self-loathing as I once was? Such is my hope.

My heart tells me that regardless of other people and their beliefs, God loves me unconditionally and wants the best for me, and the answer to my question is that no, I am no less of a man in Baha’u’llah’s eyes, and He tells me that God would never promote hatred of any of His children for any reason, even for being gay. I thank God that not too late in life I can learn to see myself as a man, not as a “gay man” or as a “bi man” or including any another a stupid qualifier.

I think you’ll be interested to know there is an official Baha’i organization (a committee of the National Spiritual Assembly of the Baha’is of Canada) I’m part of that is set to spread all over North America as soon as we can. It’s called BNASAA (Baha’i Network on AIDS, Sexuality, Addictions and Abuse). We want to start local service groups, a term for people organizing Baha’i-led groups, prayer circles, youth deepening (KEY ONE), and other such activities that would ALSO serve the 5-year plan. Please like us on Facebook

I’m James, I’m gay, I’m a Baha’i, and I’m doing the best I can. Contact me at jhrussell [at] gmail [dot] com for more information.

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About The Author

Susan Gammage is a Bahá’í-inspired author, educator and researcher with a passion for finding ways to help people apply Bahá'í principles to everyday life situations so they can learn to "live the life". She has published hundreds of articles and many books and nothing gives her greater pleasure than working on a whole lot more. She is blessed to be able to live in one of the most beautiful parts of Canada.
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13 Comments

Thank you for writing this! I know this will not only help young homosexuals but all youth in general because equal rights to homosexuals and heterosexuals are very important to youth. This brings insight as to why acting on homosexual feelings is not permitted. You explained very simply and warmly that Baha’u’llah is not trying to hurt anyone or make them feel ashamed, that He wants only the best for humanity. Thanks again!

Richard Hainsworth

February 26, 2014 at 3:23 am ·

James, thank you for being so brave to write this article!

Given your courage, a person (whether man or woman) who considers you damaged is far more damaged her(him)self.

Please allow me to express in writing what I has been building up in me for some time due to the fact that the news media I use is so dominated by gay voices.

I fundamentally agree with James, in that the problem is not homosexuality, but hedonistic sexuality. It is wrong to have sex outside of marraige for any one, even if they are completely straight. Pornography, promiscuity, blatant sexually explicit activities are merging in “Western” into a constant background noise and gradually we are ceasing even to think of it as being abnormal.

James, you mentioned female liberation. Abdu’l-Baha spoke about the equality of men and women, not about the sexual liberation of women. And to be brutally frank, women achieved sexual equality with men when the Pill broke the link between the inevitability of child birth and sex. In other areas, women still do not have equality. Not a single woman has yet to be President of the USA even after decades of universal suffrage. The number of women who lead corporations is far smaller than equality would imply. Sexual liberation only means that women can be as irresponsible as men in the manner in which they engage in sex.

And this ‘liberation’ has been accompanied by a general increase in the importance in US consciousness of sex. Just look at the way explicity sexual activity has impinged on films, TV shows, books, performing arts. Of course sex has always been there – getting rid of sex entirely is also wrong. But the focus on sex, the use of sex to associate desire with consumer goods – these are social behaviours that have become so strong in US and developed European society that they affect every aspect of life.

When sexuality and sexual expression is so important to a society, every one in it finds it socially necessary to express themselves sexually. Or to position themselves as “gay”, “polyamoral”, “in a permanent relationship” etc. When an advert arouses lust for a woman in a man, being ‘straight’ does not diminish the pain that a religious man feels in trying to overcome the lust. Baha’u’llah has said that a pure person is one who can pass through a valley of gold and pass by the most comely of women without feeling the least desire. Few of us are ‘pure’, I warant.

One thing though that has always challenged me intellectually is the difficulty homosexual men have in changing their objects of their passion. It seems to me to be entirely wrong for a heterosexual male who has never had a hint of desire for male flesh to discount the intense desire a homosexual feels. Nor is it reasonable to conclude that just because I dont have such a feeling, then it can be easily overcome by everyone, if they only found the right person or situation.

As James has said (and he reflects what seems to be the common experience of the homosexual Baha’is I have met) no matter what he tried and however he may have wanted to be different, he could not change. I want to fly, but I can’t even if I were to jump off a roof-top. It’s not a matter of desire or will power.

At the same time, I find it impossible to accept the explanation that homosexuality is some way genetic, that it is imprinted on a person from birth. For if such an explanation were true, Baha’u’llah would not have forbidden the practice, nor can I accept the idea that Baha’u’llah was somehow influenced in this one area of human existence by His environment or times. Moreover, genetics explains the way animals have evolved, and a behaviour that leads to zero off-spring with the same genetic material would very soon be eliminated from the population. Genetically based homosexuality can only be passed on if homosexuals have sex with someone of the opposite sex. Comparing homosexuality with genes for blue eyes or green, or even with the propensity to a disease like sickle-cell anemia, is complicated when homosexuality in of itself diminishes a person’s (or a population’s) ability to reproduce. There has to be some other explanation for the manifestion of homosexuality.

Living in another country in a culture with another language, and watching my children learn to speak in Russian as well as English, I realised just how much human beings are both malleable as children and rigid as adults. Even though I have spent longer in a Russian culture than my children, yet they speak better Russian than I. And now I am battling to learn Mandarin Chinese. It is incredibly difficult and I expect it will take many years before I can communicate comfortably. Even so, a poor and uneducated child growing up speaking Mandarin will in that same period of time absorb the language in a way I as a healthy and well-educated adult such as me never can.

My speculation is that there are more things than language which we acquire as children and young adults that become a part of our psyche and character and which later canNOT be changed. What about racial or ethnic antipathies, political orientiation, and so on? How about religion? Why should it be that a person born in an Arabic country or to a particular ethnic group is Muslim and one in a European one is Christian? As Baha’is we know religious affilation can be changed, but it is so very hard for people to overcome the teachings of their culture. We even bring in to Baha’i communities things we have learnt from the religious mileu in which we grew up.

I learnt English as a child and will always speak and think in English. I cannot unlearn English without stopping being me. Even people who have severe amnesia still retain language. So, too if sexual orientation is like language, a homosexual will find it incredibly difficult either to unlearn or change himself (and in matters of homosexuality as in matters of sexuality, there does seem to be a massive difference between male and female experience).

So too, if someone has learnt ethnic antipathy, it is incredibly hard to see others as equal to those you consider to be the same as yourself. Just because you can show that prejudical tendencies are irrational does not stop people from having them and finding it very difficult to be comfortable with someone of another race or social background.

In fact, there are behaviours that may be learnt which are far more pernicious and far more pervasive in our modern society than sexual orientation. Baha’u’llah denounces back-biting and gossip and they are explicitly forbidden in several places. Look how many times it is mentioned in the Hidden Words. Now find a reference there to sexuality(?!) Yet see how widespread backbiting and gossip is. There is even a popular US show called ‘Gossip Girl’ which appears to glorify the behaviour.

If there is something in any Baha’i society that we should root out, it is gossip. Sexual orientation hardly counts (!) by comparision. The fact that sexuality is important in some cultures only emphasises how disfunctional and how far from Baha’i ideals those cultures themselves are.

Richard

James H Russell

February 21, 2014 at 7:02 pm ·

Thank you so much for the insight. In this country, the sexual liberation movement gave women the right to choose their partners more so than in the past, and in my experience women in this country do not want to be with a man who has an attraction for other men because they feel they can’t be “number one” in the man’s head. Couple that with me being extremely picky about women and you see my problem. A Russian woman might find it fine to be with me, but American women surround me and they don’t, overall, want me. I am damaged goods.

Thanks for this, Vladimir! I think the Russians are much closer to understanding the oneness of humanity! We’re all the waves of the same sea. There is no us/them in the Faith. We’re all one!

The House of Justice has said:

It should be understood that the homosexual tendencies of some individuals do not entitle them to an identity setting them apart from others. (Universal House of Justice, 11 September 1995)

Max

February 21, 2014 at 1:53 am ·

James, what’s the book that that quote comes from?

“The question of how to deal with homosexuals is a very difficult one. Homosexuality is forbidden in the Bahá’í Faith by Bahá’u’lláh; so, for that matter, is immorality and adultery. If one is going to start imposing heavy sanctions on people who are the victims of this abnormality, however repulsive it may be to others, then it is only fair to impose equally heavy sanctions on any Bahá’ís who step beyond the moral limits defined by Bahá’u’lláh. Obviously at the present time this would create an impossible and ridiculous situation.”

A little comment from another culture 🙂
I was always surprised that in the West, especially in the US, there is an overwhelming tendency to do a clear cut in every situation. Rigidity is considered as normal. Even the term “tolerance” is coined, which implies that you have your stance, and I have my stance, but I tend not to care, and try to “tolerate” your misbehaviour.
In Russia, where I am from, that attitude is present sometimes as well, no doubt, but usually people don’t distinguish so clearly between “yours” and “mine.” As Mujan Momen noted in his wonderful book “The Phenomenon of Religion,” in Western religions the unity principle is expressed usually as “Love your neighbour, because he is your brother,” while in Eastern ones it is expressed as “Love your neighbour, because he is you, yourself.”
This leads to some interesting attitudes which are, as far as I can see, come to many Americans as a shock. Sometimes a pleasant shock, sometimes not 🙂 For example, let’s take friendship. In Russia it’s a very important institution—I would even say, indispensable, because for psychological assistance Russians come to a friend, not to a psychologist. Because your friend, in a sense, is you, yourself.
As far as homosexuals are concerned, Russians simply don’t grasp this idea, because to them it seems pretty obvious that you can feel attraction—sincere attraction!—to a person of any sex. This is just an extension of the principle of friendship: when you are somebody’s friend, you become him, himself, to a very large degree. Like “the fingers of one hand, the members of one body.”
Therefore, the type of sexuality, to a Russian, is so clearly a matter of personal choice, that all this Western-type campaigning about the “rights of homosexuals” is looked upon in owe. For example, many people in Russian prisons become homosexuals simply because they live in huge cells with fifty men, in case of a man, or women, in case of a woman. But when they finally serve their sentence and are released, they return to normal sexual orientation, because they consider it a proper way to be.
Thus, for the majority of Russians it seems pretty obvious that people BECOME homosexuals for various reasons, and can UNBECOME them, if they would only wish so. For example, the only homosexual person I’ve seen in my entire life of 44 years, was a man who definitely has CHOSEN to be a homosexual, because he wanted something unusual, some extraordinary pleasures. He was boasting to me, actually, that he can talk almost any man into having sexual with him, simply explaining what unimaginable pleasures would await him if he agrees 🙂
I understand that, being from another culture, it may not be easy for you to understand what I am talking about. It may comfort you to know that I had the same difficulty understanding what are all those Americans are talking about when they speak about “the rights of homosexuals.” 🙂
Just to summarize. People are very, very, very flexible creatures. If a person really concentrates, and focuses his mind on something, he can achieve almost any imaginable thing—and even unimaginable, if he allows his concentration to strengthen. People imagine themselves to be elves from the Lord of the Rings—and start to roam the forests with makeshift swords, speaking Quenya and actually seeing all those magical creatures in the nearest bush or between the trees at a distance. People can start hearing voices speaking to them on behalf of the Universal Mind, and fill the books with those “revelations,” preaching it to anybody who happens to stop by. Etc., etc…
That’s why it is so important to have an “immovable foundation,” a “Sure Handle” to base our life upon. Because we can become whoever we want, any whimsical desire may drive us to become a completely different personality. Now I’m happy, now I’m sad. Now I love you, now I hate you. Where is the truth? Which one of my feelings and attractions is true and real, and which one is only a vain imagination? All and none…

James H Russell

February 18, 2014 at 9:46 pm ·

From Shoghi Effendi: “The question of how to deal with homosexuals is a very difficult one. Homosexuality is forbidden in the Bahá’í Faith by Bahá’u’lláh; so, for that matter, is immorality and adultery. If one is going to start imposing heavy sanctions on people who are the victims of this abnormality, however repulsive it may be to others, then it is only fair to impose equally heavy sanctions on any Bahá’ís who step beyond the moral limits defined by Bahá’u’lláh. Obviously at the present time this would create an impossible and ridiculous situation.”

This is not less true than we he said this, and it hasn’t changed. Therefore, institutions — and individual Baha’i — frankly need to keep their opinions on my “worth” as a “gay Baha’i” to themselves.

James H Russell

February 18, 2014 at 9:40 pm ·

I don’t recall saying that heterosexuals are never virgins. You can’t really tell me whether I can define my sexuality or not, because your knowledge of sexuality is no more than mine, and as a heterosexual, obviously not objective when looking at an oppressed part of the Baha’i population.

In this writer’s opinion,, perhaps you should worry more about where the writings guide yourself to evolve as a Baha’i rather than to where they should take me.

Luckily, as I wrote, not a single person on this planet can judge my soul based on behavior or anything else. Baha’is can take away my voting rights based on their imperfect human judgement and it doesn’t matter to me whatsoever. What matters to me is Baha’u’llah, and He is why I am a Baha’i, not judgmental humans.

Yourself and other Baha’is would do well to beware taking a stance keeping those “unworthy” to be Baha’is out of the Faith because we didn’t marry as virgins like you point out that you were — in condescending fashion. Regardless of your behavior or mine, if who you’re talking to sees an inkling of superiority, the rest of whatever you say becomes meaningless.

Thanks for the feedback.

Jeff Adler

February 17, 2014 at 7:34 pm ·

I was once told a story about two Baha’is who wrote to Shoghi Effendi regarding their being homosexuals. The Guardian told them to find someone of the opposite sex that they could relate to and marry them. Whether this story has any legs to stand on, I couldn’t tell you. But one thing that I can tell you is that your “Kinsey” scale is as artificial as Nutra-Sweet. People can no more rate their sexual orientation on a scale of 0 to 6 as a fish can rate the bait on a hook.

And, while I sympathize with your personal dilemma, one question comes to mind: I was in the military for four years and was on occasion questioned as to my “orientation.” I served in the years long before “Don’t ask, don’t tell” (i.e., Vietnam), when just openly stating that you were gay was punishable with under the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ) and would lead to a less than honorable discharge.

The truth of the matter is that I have always been heterosexual, having kissed a girl at age 5 on a school bus (and I liked it, as she liked it right back – sorry, Katy Perry). I was simply turned off to the military state of mind that one should have a sexual relationship with anyone of the opposite sex that you happen to meet at a bar, a party, or on the street. I had a roommate who was an active rapist, and he used to joke about it. Yet, I was naive, and never thought of reporting the guy. However, I did request a transfer, and received it several months later. I was a virgin when I got married and so was my wife (we had a Baha’i marriage) – proof that your remark about such a thing being real is false.

My wife and I had the occasion to hear Ruhiyyih Khanum talk about Baha’i marriage when we went on Pilgrimage. One of the things that she reminded us was that in Baha’i society, whenever that will occur, marriage is legitimate at age 15. Think about it. At that age very few people consider themselves to be “homosexual” “gay” or “lesbian”.

Another item brought up at the time: It is not a requirement, in the Baha’i Faith, for all people to even marry. If a person is not attracted to people of the opposite sex, no shame should be brought from it. This way women and men can follow their hearts desires in whatever endeavor they find admirable for their life’s work.

One last comment is really a direct quote from the Guardian (from Guidance for Today and Tomorrow, pp. 157-158):

“This great retributive calamity, for which the world’s supreme leaders, both secular and religious, are to be regarded as primarily answerable, as testified by Baha’u’llah, should not, if we would correctly appraise it, be regarded solely as a punishment meted out by God to a world that has, for a hundred years [written in 1944], persisted in its refusal to embrace the truth of the redemptive Message proffered to it by the supreme Messenger of God in this day. It should be viewed also, though to a lesser degree, in the light of a divine retribution for the perversity of the human race in general, in casting itself adrift from those elementary principles which must, at all times, govern, and can alone safeguard, the life and progress of mankind. Humanity has, alas, with increasing insistence, preferred, instead of acknowledging and adoring the Spirit of God as embodied in His religion in this day, to worship those false idols, untruths and half-truths, which are obscuring its religions, corrupting its spiritual life, convulsing its political institutions, corroding its social fabric, and shattering its economic structure.” …

[pp. 159-160] … “The theories and policies, so unsound, so pernicious, which deify the state and exalt the nation above mankind, which seek to subordinate the sister races of the world to one single race, which discriminate between the black and the white, and which tolerate the dominance of one privileged class over all others — these are the dark, the false, and crooked doctrines for which any man or people who believes in them, or acts upon them, must, sooner or later, incur the wrath and chastisement of God.” …

And further, [p. 163] “The recrudescence of religious intolerance, of racial animosity, and of patriotic arrogance; the increasing evidences of selfishness, and of crime; the unquenchable thirst for, and the feverish pursuit after, earthly vanities, riches, and pleasures; the weakening of family solidarity; the laxity of parental control; the lapse into luxurious indulgence; the irresponsible attitude towards marriage and the consequent rising tide of divorce; the degeneracy of art and music, the infection of literature, and the corruption of the press; the extension of the influence and activities of those ‘prophets of decadence’ who advocate companionate [sic] marriage, who preach the philosophy of nudism, who call modesty an intellectual fiction, who refuse to regard the procreation of children as the sacred and primary purpose of marriage, who denounce religion as an opiate of the people, who would, if given free rein, lead back the human race to barbarism, chaos, and ultimate extinction — these appear as the outstanding characteristics of a decadent society, a society that must either be reborn or perish.”

It is of this writers opinion that these passages contain enough matter to direct you to where your priorities as a Baha’i should evolve.

James H Russell

February 17, 2014 at 12:12 am ·

Exactly. The Kinsey scale touches what no one wants to discuss, and that is that sexuality is as diverse as mankind. How could we expect otherwise as Baha’is in particular? Baha’is have left the Faith or gone out of circulation because of grass-roots bigotry and working with BNASAA we intend to make it stop.

Kathy Rutan-Sprague

February 16, 2014 at 7:10 pm ·

Sexuality is a complex issue, as is identity itself. I look forward to honest research that helps each of us to understand our identity struggles. In the meantime, as human beings, what we have in common is the need for purpose, the need to belong and the need to be heard and understood. Of course we all have the need for love; elements of that are expressed by affection, listening, encouraging, understanding, validating the other, and working together on common goals. We all have a need for intimacy, which comes from honesty and is often experienced separately from a sexual interaction. I suspect that with more intimacy available to all of us, without any expectations, exploitations, demands or duties to fulfill, we would be uplifted in a kind of love that is legitimate to share between any two people. At the current time, many of us do not know about intimacy at all, and seek something in sexual activity that is not always there at all. Men by and large do not understand women on other levels besides sexual, and seem to seek to use them for their own pleasure without a need to know them on a deeper level. Women have relationship skills that create and build and depend on that close woman friend participating in her life like very few men are able to. To have intimacy with another human being, without a sexual expression is a good thing, and allowed and promoted as we come together with purity of heart and honesty that comes from feeling safe and accepted by each other.
I think that the sexual activities that any individual experiences is intensely personal, and modesty not shame, belongs in this activity. I feel that no one needs to know the details of another person’s sexual activity, it is between them and God knows what we are doing and feeling, and as God, is the only one who has to know and understand. Our guidelines are that we are to be chaste in our thoughts and deeds, we do not exploit each other in any of the many ways we can do this, sexually and otherwise.
When it comes to marriage, I think that there are two aspects of it; legal and spiritual. To be legally married means that society recognizes the long term commitment made to be a part of a family as an adult, to share resources and responsibilities, to stay together through all of life’s challenges and joys. The spiritual is strictly by choice of each person’s path. As a Baha’i that is clearly defined, and marriage cannot be in the sight of God as a Baha’i unless within those parameters. Because many people marry legally and then become Baha’is, they do not have to have the wedding ceremony to be considered as both Baha’is and married. As it becomes legal in more countries for any two adults to marry, I can easily imagine two people who are both men or both women but are not homosexual to enjoy the legal relationship that marriage provides. I can see advantages to this and hope that it could be no one else’s concern about the sexual arrangements that are agreed to by husband and wife. In fact, in this world of so many arranged, forced and child marriages, I think there are larger concerns for us as a community to address.
If the standards of purity and chastity are accepted and pursued by all adults regardless of the individual temptations and failings along the way, then we can not make of this issue a cause for disunity, but an opportunity to understand the human desires and strengths that includes, but is not exclusive to sexual activities.

Nona Simons

February 11, 2014 at 4:17 am ·

Dear James and Susan, Thank you for publishing this important article about being gay and being a Baha’i. I have many gay and lesbian friends, and a bisexual niece who I love dearly that is married to another woman. So I think you can understand why I struggle to understand the Baha’i Teachings regarding homosexuality. Personally, I don’t see anything wrong with homosexual partnerships or marriages, but as a Baha’i, I know that we only endorse sexual relations between a man and a woman. So, in discussions with others about the rights of homosexuals, I remain neutral when it comes to discussing sexual behavior, but speak out strongly on behalf of the rights of homosexuals as human beings.

One comforting thing I have learned is that as Baha’is, we take a strong stand in defending human rights. These rights exist for anyone of any nationality, race, religion, gender, or gender orientation. Guidance from the Universal House of Justice bears this out, as follows:

“To regard homosexuals with prejudice and disdain would be entirely against the spirit of Bahá’í Teachings.” –From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to the National Spiritual Assembly of the United States, Sept. 11, 1995

A more detailed answer to this question comes from a letter dated October 27, 2010, written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice an American Bahá’í:

“…With respect to your question concerning the position Bahá’ís are to take regarding homosexuality and civil rights, we have been asked to convey the following.

“The purpose of the Faith of Bahá’u’lláh is the realization of the organic unity of the entire human race, and Bahá’ís are enjoined to eliminate from their lives all forms of prejudice and to manifest respect towards all. Therefore, to regard those with a homosexual orientation with prejudice or disdain would be against the spirit of the Faith. Furthermore, a Bahá’í is exhorted to be “an upholder and defender of the victim of oppression”, and it would be entirely appropriate for a believer to come to the defense of those whose fundamental rights are being denied or violated.

“At the same time, you are no doubt aware of the relevant teachings of the Faith that govern the personal conduct of Bahá’ís. The Bahá’í Writings state that marriage is a union between a man and a woman and that sexual relations are restricted to a couple who are married to each other. Other passages from the Writings state that the practice of homosexuality is not permitted. The teachings of Bahá’u’lláh on personal morality are binding on Bahá’ís, who strive, as best they can, to live up to the high standards He has established.

“In attempting to reconcile what may appear to be conflicting obligations, it is important to understand that the Bahá’í community does not seek to impose its values on others, nor does it pass judgment on others on the basis of its own moral standards. It does not see itself as one among competing social groups and organizations, each vying to establish its particular social agenda. In working for social justice, Bahá’ís must inevitably distinguish between those dimensions of public issues that are in keeping with the Bahá’í Teachings, which they can actively support, and those that are not, which they would neither promote nor necessarily oppose. In connection with issues of concern to homosexuals, the former would be freedom from discrimination and the latter the opportunity for civil marriage. Such distinctions are unavoidable when addressing any social issue. For example, Bahá’ís actively work for the establishment of world peace but, in the process, do not engage in partisan political activities directed against particular governments.”

Awhile back, a young Baha’i friend of mine, who was in high school, came out as a homosexual. Although his mother was understanding, his father had a very difficult time with accepting this young man’s sexual orientation. I wanted to say something to comfort my young friend but knew that I couldn’t come out and endorse a gay lifestyle. I ended up telling him that no matter what, God made him a beautiful human being and that is the most important thing. I said that no matter what happens, he should always remember this. My young friend appreciated the support. At one point after he came out, a mutual friend overheard some Baha’is gossiping about this young homosexual, and not wanting their children to come under his bad influence. When the father found out, he immediately came to this young man’s defense. Both parents took the situation to their Local Spiritual Assembly and that Assembly ended up supporting my friends. To me this an example of what being a Baha’i is all about, loving a person, defending their rights to be who they are, without necessarily endorsing every decision that person makes. As a Baha’i who wants to abide by the laws of my religion, this stance seems to me to be the best one to take.

Once I attended a workshop at an ACLU conference on how religious people should deal with people who were homosexual. The workshop was attended by clergy and homosexuals. The clergy whose religious teachings did not endorse homosexual relationships, chose to work side by side with all members of ACLU, including their gay and lesbian colleagues. They endorsed seeking common ground with these members and working on matters of common interest to both clergy and homosexuals. As far as what their beliefs were regarding homosexual relationships, they chose to remain silent. They did not choose to burden homosexuals with hearing about their religious teachings on homosexuality. It was comforting to hear this way of interacting and working with homosexuals. In my view, this is completely congruent with what I believe a Baha’is conduct should be when interacting with a gay or lesbian person.

Regarding the specific Baha’i laws regarding homosexuality, I have decided that not being God, I may not be able to understand every law of the religion that I love. I am only asked to adhere to the law in my personal life, not to agree or disagree with it.

Furthermore, I do not hesitate to speak up for the human rights of any person, be they heterosexual, homosexual, Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Protestant, Russian, American or Chinese, and so on. When I see the rights of a fellow person being violated, I speak up on their behalf, as a person who opposes oppression of any kind. I have high visibility as a Baha’i on my Facebook page which is seen by both Baha’is and nonBaha’is. There are times when my Baha’i friends have come down on me for “endorsing” homosexuality when all I have done is defend their human rights, and I have quoted our writings to support my actions. I think that we still have a long way to go before we can say that we treat all humans with respect and dignity, both in and outside the Baha’i community. I am happy to see that this web site provides a forum for discussing ways in which we can better serve our fellow human beings no matter what their sexual orientation is.

Note: The materials on this site reflect the current understanding of Susan Gammage from her experience in the Bahá’í community and as a Bahá’í-inspired researcher/author. They do not represent an official interpretation of the Bahá’í Writings. They are simply offered as an educational resource for Bahá’ís to consider as they strive to understand and implement the Writings into their lives, institutions and communities. Any questions about the application of certain quotes to your own particular situation should be directed to the Bahá’í institutions. Official websites include www.bahai.org (international); http://www.ca.bahai.org/ (Canadian) and http://www.bahai.us/ (American).