Week 8: Activity-Art writing and editing

This week’s activity I reviewed and critic a classmate’s blog by following Glenn’s criteria. The criteria were to edit the classmate below you on the class rooster. The classmate I reviewed was Cameron Cripe, his blog is cameroncripe.wordpress.com. His Artist Conversation was a good length which is 4 paragraphs. Some of his sentences were weirdly written like his sentence trying to compare his attitudes toward the artist’s work. For example, “Going through the gallery in a different attitude and noticing pretty early on how the negative pieces had more holes, compared to the positive pieces that were covered in more detail.” I wasn’t really sure where he was going with this sentence. I was confused on how he felt about the artist’s piece. He was very repetitive with his paragraphs by writing “Going through” for every sentence. Another repetitive thing he did was writing “this piece” to describe the artist’s work. He didn’t go too in depth on the artist’s inspiration and the meaning of it. Or how the artist’s work reflected his life or own idea. His description of the artist’s work was really good. He had good diction on his blog. The flow or timeline of the paragraphs were good. For my blog my grammar is not the best, I need to find more intelligent word to describe the artist’s creations, and make my sentences more understandable.