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Deplorably Speaking: A Righteous Blog

Herein your fearless editor in briefs, who was deplorable long before deplorable was a meme, holds forth, but seldom holds his tongue, on a variety of topics ranging from the politicalization of sports to the emasculation of male college students to the idiocies of third-wave feminism to the reasons for (and implications of) the sudden prominence of white-interest™ movements to whatever fickles his nancy. You can check in any time you like as long as you're prepared to get deplorable.

The Grammar Prick

Meaner than a powdery-smelling, dried-up, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive.>
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Postcards the Book

The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Smoke 'em if you got 'em, then enjoy the interviews nobody else has the balls to do. We're not just blowing smoke. Our fearless interviewer isn't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.

Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous and frightening to mention.

LOS ANGELES - Vanessa Hudgens has more to apologize for than a few perky-breasted but otherwise virginal nude photos currently starring as the screen savers du jour of sticky-fingered Internet types, young and old, across the United States.

The photos, it seems, were only the tit of the iceberg. Bed-headed geeks and freaks with dodgy skin and prophylactics over their keyboards will be chuffed to learn that the risqué snapper shots of Ms. Hudgens, the perky-breasted, eighteen-year-old star of High School Musical, are actually stills from an autoerotic sex-video she made for Nickelodeon star Drake Bell two years ago.

According to THEM Weekly, Ms. Hudgens' sex video, coyly entitled Open Me First, was made "as a gag Christmas gift" and emailed to Mr. Bell, who denies ever seeing it.

"Drake never opened the video—first, last, or otherwise," said a representative. "He learned his lesson about opening email attachments, even from people he knows intimately."

Those who have opened Open Me First—forty-five seconds' worth of footage apparently filmed with a cell phone camera—were treated to a nude Ms. Hudgens sitting spread-eagled in front of a Christmas tree. She is wearing a Santa hat, Christmas gift tags about the size of silver dollars for pasties, and a red, mistletoe-decorated thong.

While Zamfir's version of "You're All I Want for Christmas" plays in the background, Ms. Hudgens removes the pasties from her perky breasts and smiles alluringly into the camera.

Next she takes off the thong and waves it seductively. Then, removing the Santa hat and slipping her right hand into it, she whispers, "I want Santa to come up my chimney because I've been a good little girl this year."
In other news, the Recording Industry Association of America has mailed Debbie Foster 68,685 one-dollar checks to satisfy a judgment she won against the watchdog group.