As strongly malted and heavy toasted ales go, Ass Kisser Smoked Porter delivers all the Portery goodness along with the savory and almost meaty aroma and taste of smoke for a near-barbecue experience in a beer.

Heavy toast, bitter chocolate, coffee, smoke, and hops fill the nose with robust character and well balanced. Almost roasty, the beer seems as much Stout as it does Porter at times. Grassy with a slight vegital note that weaves into the rich malty notes- this seems to be a blend of hop and grain profile.

The balance of heavy toast, medium roasted coffee, cocoa, and burnt toffee all create a strong and dry taste of roast that come across a bit ashy at times. Smoke aromas become the vale than skimly blankets the roast and sweetness in creating a meaty barbecue flavor. The rise of hop bitterness in finish is preceded by the grassy and vegetative taste of hops- not only the resin but the leaf as well; this leads to an almost corn-like and earthy impression.

The robust mouthfeel of both dark grain and abundant carbonation gives a full and rich texture at first. But the fleeting carbonation leaves a dry-roast character on the tongue at mid palate that's not as supported by malty textures as I would like. This leaves the beer slightly empty and grainy at mid palate, making the finish slightly acrid and ashy.

Though the beer has a few minor flaws in taste, aroma, and mouthfeel it fares quite average and is a drinkable dark ale despite the challenge of smoke, hops, and roast. Because of the chlorophenol vegital taste, I wouldn't expect the shelf life of this beer to be great as not a good candidate to cellar.

3.25 A: Black color. One finger of frothy tan head. Retention is about average and some irregular lacing is left.

3.5 S: Porcine and camp fire smokiness. A light graininess with moderate roastiness. On the drier side, but is mixed with caramel sweetness.

3.25 T: Roasty with hints of ash. Campfire smokiness, grain, an almost tanginess that may come from the smoked malt. Caramel sweetness just falls short of balancing out the roastiness. Could use a bit more refinement.

A: A dark brown porter that kept a decent finger and a half rustic head. Light penetrates the sides of the beer to give it a very cola look, it comes off as a bit light in the visual for the style. The movement of the beer itself also makes me scratch my head a bit; just so thin.

S: So much bright corn product. You name it it's there: corn nuts, corn chips, tamale husks, and dried corn kernels. It favors some corn products over others in different temperatures, but really maintains a consistent corn corn corn theme. You get more normal chocolate/slight coffee smells with a bit of head on the beer, but dry sniffs result in corn-o-rama.

T: The taste is way less "corny" (hah), but the sweetness definitely seems synthetically whiskey inspired. The chocolate notes come through in a savory manner, a decently made Mexican mole comes through with a slight tamarind sweetness. The malt overtakes the light mole note to put it back on the corn train tracks. I'll give the beer credit in that it takes me straight to the American Southwest, but I don't know if I want to ride a wagon of corn to get there. Two notes (BBQ, Corn) Tex-mex cuisine beat me into a submissive "no more" state.

M: Actually a very classic porter mouth. Pretty well done, but I can't help but think if the carbonation was any brighter it might heat the kernels of corn in the flavor to create popcorn. That wasn't really fair of the beer, as the mouth really is quite solid. Good job here.

O: My brother (Klym) said it best when discussing this beer. "They need to rename this beer to border porter". Yes, it wears the sheriff's star of a Texas town, but does it need to do so in such a tex-mex manner? I would have liked it if the flavors went south of the border more often, and didn't make me feel like I was drinking the O'douls of whiskeys. Spice this beer up, and I'll consider re-thinking the corn wagon comment.

In a world where the name Arrogant Bastard is okayed to be labled on beer bottles, why not a beer named Ass Kicke...back back back....sser. Juvenile fun or creative marketing? Eh, leave it to the forums. On to the beer:

Black ink colored with a short head. Stringy lacing is produced and sticks briefly around the glass. The smell of smoked meat arises from the beer, and littler notes of dates, peat, and bits of dark chocolate. Good aromas, though not always in sync.

They put the smoked in smoked porter. Smoked malts are easy to find off the bat. Fruity notes at times. Charred fruit? The ABV is hidden well, and it's easy sailing. Or not. The overall flavor loses some of its lust and become a little less interesting. It's medium bodied, with an aftertaste a little charred and dry.

Starts off solid, but fizzled out to merely okay. I'll go past this next time.

A - Pours a a dark blackish-brown with two-finger khaki colored head with decent retention. Clumpy/patchy lacing.

S - Moderate strength aroma of chocolate, malt, and burnt pine.

T - Taste starts off decent with bitter chocolate, toasted oats, and a noticeable bittering hop presence, but then comes a harshly metallic astringency in the finish, kind of like I'd imagine how sucking on a nickel would taste. No sweetness to balance, just bitter and more bitter.

M - Light bodied, but with a decent creaminess which adds to an illusion of thickness. Finishes dry.

O - As a fan of bitter beers, it's hard for me to say it's too bitter but...it's too bitter. When bitter turns that astringent, it's a problem for me. Get rid of the metallic taste and add a little sweetness for balance and you might have a decent beer here. As it is? Not so much.

A: Pours a dark brown, nearly black color. A large beige head rises to over two fingers. Some light lace is left behind.
S: Roasted malt, acrid coffee, meaty smoke lingers.
T: Follows the nose. Plenty of roasted malt. Coffee is very acrid with lots of meaty/bacon like smoke lingering.
M/D: A medium body with good carbonation. A bit hard to drink, for me anyway. Lots of alcohol, acrid coffee and lingering smoke makes for a slow sipper.

Smoke heads will enjoy this. Though I think it has a bit to much acrid coffee. Taken as a hole, not something I particularly enjoy, but certainly a decent beer.

Pours a dark black-brown with some foam on top. Light aroma, not much smoke comes through but there’s some malty sweetness to it. Tastes like a ok porter with a hint of vanilla that comes through. The promised smoke doesn’t make much of an appearance until the finish. It’s lightly smoked, thin bodied, and not one I’d seek out or try again.

I poured this big beer into my tumbler at 45 degrees. The beer was black but absolutely had no head or very little. The beer had a light smoked smell and the smoke was not too overpowering as some smoke beers I have drank. This beer though had a very bitter after taste or finish I really just did not like. If it had not been for that I would have gave it higher marks I believe. So I will have to say I will not buy this beer again.

My last bottle in the introduction to this brewery. It pours a murky black-brown topped by almost no head whatsoever. Kinda reminds me of a glass of very thin used motor oil. The nose comprises toffee, light meaty smoke, Belgian candi sugar, and light cocoa. It's almost as if a decent smoked porter were watered-down in my 'strils... The taste sorta brings in more of the same, but everything is bland, with a touch of wet cardboard and a vague vegetable quality. I hope this is a bad bottle... This concern is given further credence with the body: a stolid medium, with a very light (almost still) carbonation and a slick, oily feel. Overall, I can only assume this was a bad bottle, what with the signs of oxidation and the clear lack of carbonation. If it isn't, though, this is one sad excuse for a beer. I'll be sure to give this stuff another try in the near future and report back...