Tag: conspiracy

I know, I know, we already agreed to stop caring about Bellator, but hear us out for a second. For reasons that have not yet been divulged, Joe Warren has been deemed medically unfit to compete at tomorrow’s Bellator 98 event. Said Bjorn Rebney:

I’ve been fortunate to work with one of the best commissioners in the sport in Mike Mazzulli, and after carefully reviewing Joe’s medical documents, everyone agreed to err on the side of caution with the goal of ensuring our fighters safety.

It was determined Joe would be unable to compete this Saturday at Mohegan Sun. Joe’s been with us since the beginning and as is the case with every fighter here, it’s incumbent on me to ensure Joe is 100% healthy and medically cleared to fight before he steps into the Bellator cage.

While this is an interesting development in and of itself, it only becomes more intriguing when you consider that Warren was deemed unfit by the Mohegan Tribe Department of Athletic Regulation. As Old Dad said, “It’s not a good sign if an Indian casino won’t clear you to fight,” so let’s use this time to speculate as to why Warren wasn’t cleared to fight, shall we?

Conspiracy Theory #1: Obviously, this is just a transparent ploy by Bellator to move one of their more popular fighters (and the only Fight Master coach currently competing in MMA) to their pay-per-view card in November. Obviously.

(*sniffle*…and then…and then the bad man told me that i would never amount to anything, and that I had a big, stupid face…*begins bawling hysterically*)

Tito Ortizis to conspiracy theories what Wilmer Valderrama is to “Yo Momma” jokes. A fun fact: After slipping on a patch of ice in his driveway and bruising his tailbone as a child, Tito Ortiz convinced himself that the residual water was left behind by an opposing wrestling team in an effort to take him out of the competition. Twenty-some odd years later…crab people. The HAARP Machine? Started by Ortiz to explain his loss to Frank Shamrock at UFC 22. Zeitgeist? A Tito Ortiz production attempting to write off his performance at UFC 44. And don’t even get Tito started on that completely flawed Magic Loogie theory.

Anyways, we haven’t heard much from Tito since he dropped a close decision to longtime rival Forrest Griffin in his retirement fight at UFC 148. Unfortunately, Ortiz recently emerged from hiding to take one final dump on the promotion that made him the man he is today (and a boatload of cash to boot), throwing everyone from Joe Rogan to Dana White under the bus along the way.

Following his unanimous decision loss to Georges St. Pierre at UFC 158, Diaz’s camp first accused Georges St. Pierre’s handwraps of being shady in an effort to demonstrate that Nick Diaz was the victim of a massive conspiracy. That didn’t work, so then a video of the “Canadian loophole” was leaked to prove that the champion was allowed to weigh 0.9 pounds over the 170-pound weight limit. Of course, it turns out that Quebec’s athletic commission has consistently allowed this since UFC 83 in 2008, so that option isn’t nearly as scandalous as it once appeared. Now today, Diaz’s camp accused Quebec’s athletic commission of failing to properly supervise St. Pierre during his post-fight drug test.

But that’s not all. In an email sent to MMAFighting.com, Diaz camp representative Jonathan Tweedale explained that they intend to file a formal complaint regarding the events that took place before and after UFC 158. In this email, not only does Tweedale make it clear that Diaz and company were not impressed by the Quebec commission’s performance, but he goes as far as to write that Nick Diaz deserves a rematch against GSP. Via MMA Fighting:

“The Quebec Commission’s statement is a disappointing admission that the March 16 event was not conducted under the rules applicable to a UFC title fight – or under the rules the fighters contractually agreed to, upon which rules Mr. Diaz was entitled to rely under his bout agreement,” stated Jonathan Tweedale, a Diaz camp representative.

Everybody gather around and break out your tinfoil hats, because it’s conspiracy time.

The above clip comes to us courtesy of Inside MMA, who recently held interviews with both the lightweight number one contender Nate Diaz and coach Cesar Gracie, who is beginning to sound like little more than an omnipresent entity whose soul (get it? SOUL? I should really be getting paid more for this gold) reason for existence is to echo whatever a Diaz brother manages to mumble out between bong rips.

From what we could decipher, it appears that both Nate and Cesar have finally caught on to the longest running screwjob in MMA history: The judges vs. The brothers Diaz. Gracie was able to see through the bullshit and was the first to bring this to light, stating:

I’ve never really seen a close decision where the nod was given to the Diaz’s. If it’s close, they’re going to lose. I don’t know why, maybe the judges don’t really care for them that much; they’re brash.

While we were initially content to play Team Cesar Gracie a song on the world’s smallest violin, upon doing a little research (I KNOW RIGHT), we actually stumbled across a plot so thick and intricate that not even Nicolas Cage could unravel it in a series of increasingly shitty kids movies, so join us after the jump if you think your puny Earthling brains can handle it.