Tuvok: "Fascinating! I already tried 47 different algorithms to solve the problem. None of them were successful. How did you do it?"
Janeway: "See that little switch? I had Torres install it before your shift started. Press it 5 seconds, shut down, reboot..."

TOM: You can never tell Sam that Naomi broke into my liquor stash.
SEVEN: Where are you taking her?
TOM: To sickbay. After the Doctor cures her hangover I need you to erase his memory of it.
SEVEN: I'm not sure you've thought all this through.

Tuvok: You made yourself an apprentice to Leonardo Davinci?
Janeway: He's a brilliant inventor.
Tuvok: Whatever you say, Mary Sue.

Alien: Thank you for the offer of this manservant, but he's a little dull. I can't keep him around the house.

;;'

Doctor: Your hormone levels suggest physical attraction to multiple male members of the crew.
Seven: That's none of your business.
Doctor: May I suggest you practice on an artificial male? I'd be happy to volunteer.

Davinci: There's something that's been bugging me. In the 15th century, women should not be educated enough to help me build a flying machine. I should not accept you as an assistant.
Janeway: It's my fantasy, I can make you act however I want.
Davinci: ...So you only like me as part of some wish fulfillment thing of yours.
Janeway: Just shut up and be Davinci.
Davinci: Yes maam.

Alien: No offense, but - what's the deal with your Captain's breath?
Chakotay: We do not speak of this.
Paris: We just surround her with holograms whenever possible.
Alien: This...coffee. Is it some kind of weaponized gas vapor?
Paris: No, but you might be interested in Neelix's La Fiesta Burrito Night.

Neelix: May I squeeze your melons?Talli: Sorry, I'm not into furries.Neelix: Dammit.

Tuvok: Is this bearded hologram what humans call a "Santa Claus"?Da Vinci: I can hear you, ear-boy!Janeway: Tuvok! This is Leonardo Da Vinci, a great artist and inventor from the 15th Century.Tuvok: Then it is logical to assume that his knowledge is extremely outdated.Da Vinci: I know someone who's getting coal this Christmas...Tuvok: Computer, delete the Santa.

Alien: Ok, ok...you can have the uniform back on one condition. I get to keep this man as my personal slave.Chakotay: Errrr...I don't think...Tom: It's a deal!

The last thing Neelix recalled before losing consciousness was commenting on the plumpness of the stallkeeper's melons.

Janeway: "What does God need with a starship?"
Leonardo: "I suppose you think you're being original..."

Chakotay: "You're a Bolian with a bad make-up job, wearing a Klingon sash, not a new alien species."
Paris: "I hacked the computer and added that bit to the First Contact procedures, the bit about sex with Seven, just to see what people would do. You're not even original. Harry has already tried that one."