Friday, February 27, 2009

Before Saturday's 5-3 win against Ottawa, I hadn't worn my Canadiens hat since going to MSG in early January to see Montreal drub the hated Rangers, 6-3. I also wore it while watching the unconscious JaroHalak shutout the superior Canucks 3-0 on Tuesday. Tonight, the Habs (32-22-7) and the Hat are put to the test in Philadelphia against the hot Flyers. If they win again, I'll prop up my autographed Guy Lafleur photo on the sofa during tomorrow's game vs. the Sharks. If the winning streak stretches to four, I may dig the dusty red jersey out of the closet...

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Thursday, the Habs (30-22-7) displayed defensive zone coverage reminiscent of the NJ pond games of my youth in losing for the 12th time in 15 games. And now, even if Montreal snakes into the playoffs, the Kostitsyn brothers and Roman Hamrlik may be watching from the big house (probably not). Quite the memorable 100th season. The team sits a slim two points ahead of ninth place Carolina. Next Game: today vs. Ottawa. Rested, probably soon to be traded Alex Kovalev back in the lineup. Habs have beaten the Sens five straight. (image via)

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Yeah, yeah, the Habs (30-21-7) and even G Carey Price played their first decent game in awhile. But they still needed one ridiculously lucky bounce and a shaky Jose Theodore in the Capitals' net to get that precious point. However, this Alex Ovechkin goal, in which he made Roman Hamrlik look extremely silly before scoring from his ass, is all you need to remember. Next game: tonight @ Pittsburgh (must win?).

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

After getting dominated yet again in a 4-2 loss Sunday to the Canucks, The Habs (30-21-6) have lost 10 of their last 13 games. They currently sit in a four-way tie for the eighth and last playoff spot. GM Bob Gainey has responded by 1) stupidly trading 2nd and 3rd round draft picks for a washed up 39-year-old former Canadien; and 2) idiotically broadcasting to the other 29 teams that Alex Kovalev can be had at the trading deadline for about a 10th-round draft pick. That's some crack GM-ing, Bobby. Next game: tonight @ Washington.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

The Habs (30-20-6) Friday pulled a win directly out of the ass of Jaroslav Halak. The Slovak keeper stopped 46 of 48 shots, including three breakaways and a couple others he never saw. The Canadiens led 2-0 after one period, and then turned on their non-forechecking neutral zone clog—which did nothing to slow down the Avalanche as they outshot Montreal 36-9 over the last two periods. Yes, the Habs were utterly dominated by the last place Avalanche. Andrei Kostitsyn (19Gs, leads team) scored the game-winner with 2:16 left off a nice flip pass from Mathieu Dandenault. Kostitsyn sweetly settled the puck and deftly went forehand-backhand to slip it between Colorado goalie Peter Budaj's pads. It was the first road win ever for the Habs against the Avalanche. Next game: tonight! @ Vancouver. Halak back in net, sans demon mask.

Friday, February 13, 2009

The Habs (29-20-6), after getting embarrassingly torched by the Flames, went bowling. Wednesday, they played even worse and got absolutely drilled by the Oilers. If they lose tonight in Colorado, maybe—in lieu of practicing until the blades break off their skates—they should play a little shuffleboard tomorrow in Vancouver. Then, if they lose to the Canucks, they should again forgo ice time, and gather in the hotel lobby in Washington and play some Parcheesi. And so on. Montreal has now lost nine of their last 11, and are five points ahead of ninth place Carolina and tenth place Pittsburgh.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Monday night, the Habs (29-19-6) were outshot 20-4 and out-scored 3-0 in the second period, and it wasn't that close. They gift-wrapped two shorthanded breakaway goals for Calgary. They were out-skated, out-muscled, out-goaltended, out-everythinged like I've never seen. So, they went bowling. Montreal now sits five points clear of missing the playoffs. Next game: tonight @ Edmonton. (giant inflatable dog turd sculpture "Complex Shit" by Paul McCarthy, via)

Monday, February 9, 2009

After a 3-2 loss to the Sabres Friday and a 5-2 drubbing at home versus the Leafs (sic) Saturday night, The Habs (29-18-6) have now lost seven of their last nine and are a scant six points clear of not making the playoffs. Since coming back from his ankle injury, Jesus Price has been a baby-sized savior between the pipes. And as every nervous Habs fan knows, this team's success begins and ends with the goofy Garth Brooks-lovin' 21-year-old. Philadelphia plainly and painfully showed that last year in the playoffs. Next game: tonight @ Calgary. This western swing could sink them. (pic via)

Monday, February 2, 2009

Wearing their terrible barber shop pole/pajama throwback uni's, the Habs put forth just enough effort to lose a close game to the Bruins. That's the good news. The bad news is much more significant. Also, no word on the condition Gui Latendresse, who slammed his head hard into the boards. Alex Kovalev has basically slept through the last four games, and was benched for the third period by coach Carbonneau. Unless something dramatic happens before the trading deadline, this mediocre group is almost certainly headed nowhere. Notes: Kings defenseman Denis Gauthier got only a five-game suspension for trying to behead Josh Gorges. Next game: tomorrow vs. Pittsburgh and cry-baby Crosby.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

I'm all about the hyperbolic hypothetical questions, lately. But Chis Higgins's monster game-tying goal with 1:50 left in yesterday's HUGE win over the Kings was an absolute fucking epic Homer poem of a goal. He threw aside Kings whiny hotshot rookie defenseman Drew Doughty like a girlie rag doll, and roofed it over poke-checking goalie Jonathan Quick."I thought it was pretty obvious that he kind of stuck out his arm and just threw me back there, but they didn't give us the call, obviously..." whined the crybaby rag doll Doughty about being legally out-muscled by Higgins.The Habs (28-15-6) won it with a cheap-ass PP goal with 22 seconds left as a falling Quick knocked the rebound of an Andrei Markov slapper into his own net (Saku Koivu wrongly got credit for the goal). Before these frantic last two minutes, the Canadiens were sleepwalking towards a deserved loss to the mediocre Kings.Today at 2pm, the Bruins.