No time to watch silly cartoons means time to I be a little impatient. If at 2 episodes into a new series, I get bored to the point of struggling to pay attention for 20 minutes, that suggests a significant depreciation in the quality of the series right? In episode 2 of series 2, 2 things are clear: nothing happens and Yuki is a Moetard.

They have a costume, almost cosplay, ball, it appears. A so called vampire banquet but I’d rather attend one than watch one. I have absolutely no idea why a meeting of the Vampiric upper society was required as Kaname’s negotiations barely exceeded that nonchalant expression of his. He says something along the lines of “f**k you” and literally, the spineless aristocracy fall in line to offer him their daughters. Then the nasty aristocrats go away and leave Kaname to whatever he was going to do anyway.

What a drag, did something happen? No. Even the almost tense love scene between Yuuki and Kaname was all wrong. It was unatmospheric due to being lit up like a hockey match and the music didn’t even turn up to play something noticeable.

No… this isn’t evidence of too much time spent in /b/! This means I’m busy fighting off the undead, of course.

I have absolutely no idea how Martin manages to have a full-time job AND manages to blog lengthy, seemingly well informed critiques on his animé consumption. I neither had the weekend free nor the funds to attend THAT meet. Maybe he’s an Time traveller? Or an Alien? Probably not an Esper though – that’s just another case of Japanese misusing the English language. Having now got a job it’s apparent that whatever his ability is, I haven’t got it. Here’s the crux of my problem: My animé consumption has essentially been 120 minutes… a month!

There is nothing to blog because there is nothing watched. A void of brightly coloured imagery and high pitched foreign vocals. An animé holiday it’s become, a break I recommend to fellow bloggers if the season’s dry and the work seems laborious. For me, it’s been useful to redefine firstly, why given the abundance of substitutes, make an effort to become a fan of Japan cartoons? Secondly, why I would ever want to tell anyone about it; let alone the whole wide web (and it’s Lawyers -_-).

More reflection will be dedicated to a post with a picture of Haruhi in the near future, but here’s my scheduale for the relaunch:

There’s something about vampire knight that I can’t help but admire because despite the crappy animation, stale comedy, mellow drama and Yui Horie, I warmly welcomed Vampire Knight back into my life. That’s a privilege I usually reserve only for my parents and my cat – the latter doesn’t even have a blood sucking monster story behind it.

The ‘season break’ is becoming a regular occurrence in animeville now, To Love Ru and Kanokon are other uptakes. I like it. It allows time for fans to digest the plot, have a natural mid-season break in pace and in this particular case, underline a major turning point. Oh, I guess some of you also appreciated the chance to furiously sketch Zero x kaname Porn. 😛

And there were significant changes, following some Sucking Events, Shizuka’s death has attracted the attention of the council and Zemo is now Kaname’s toyboy (which hasn’t warranted any reaction whatsoever!). Yet some beautiful plotting makes the episode begin almost as it began all of 6 months ago – Chairman Cross is still straight as a Boomerang, Z-EMO is a emo, Yui Horie Yuki Cross is still a Moetard. One change, I distressingly admit despite my extremely upset state (ohh how could you?) is that Kaname is turning into a bit of a cunt. Nooooo.

😛 Nah. I don’t really care, I care more about Maria. It seems she will probably serve little purpose now Shizuka is finished toying with her body. Cast off; like a unwanted doll. This should be a lesson to all of you who thinks being used by a blood sucking vampire is a good thing.

Kaname is now entangled in Vampire Council matters which must’ve tweaked his ego cos he’s only spent this episode being obnoxious, manipulative and snobby. The way he chides Yuki and looks down on Zemo is a bit shocking really. He’s an bit of a pommy cunt actually!

Sora with Kuubi’s powers imbued within is like a Russian superpower, uncontrolled resurgence, angry and unpredictable. Sorabi easliy brushes away the best attempts by Chouji, Shikimaru, Ino and (laugthably) Sakura’s (useless) best wishes to restain him. Two massive overpowered AOE nukes and Captain Taichou’s improvised wooden shelters later (Lol, made out of wood?), and really there’s only one thing stopping that awesome monster – that’s the power of love Naruto’s origional Kyuubi.

Except, he fails to match Sorabi’s 4 tails, nevermind 5, or even 9. Perhaps I getting a little ahead of myself here, there can only be 4! We know this because, underwhelmingly, the concept art for nine tails hasn’t been drawn yet… -_- . There was so much build up only Naruto shut down Kyuubi and transformed back before the end with perhaps the lamest excuse since Iraq.

That’s like, lol, wut? How do you expect to win now? It seems America (You know, the blond haired Yankee) is not keen to stretch it’s military muscle so seems to have pretty much conceaded to the Russians, or has he?

Naruto Shippuuden 71Friends

Forget the fight, or the making up gayness what not – that was rubbish!

Who were those 2 Akatsuki chasing the Jinchuriki? It was right, right at the end and hopefully represents how the storyline will shift up a gear now that the fillers are essentially over.

Naruto gets a bad hair day. This time it wasn’t even a mess up by one of the poor junior artists/slaves working at Studio Pierrot’s Korean workhouses. This was Fuuka, the woman’s scorn, something Naruto seems to get a lot of. It took pretty much all the first half of this filler for Naruto to defeat the old hag.

Soon after Naruto dispatches the floating hair and red eyes that became the essence of Fuuka (in full slow motion animation), he heads off in pursuit of his love/friend. Face it, he sucks up to Sakura for show, Naruto is only serious when he is gay.

See my case proof in Naruto’s love for Sora, for he is this arc’s Sasuke substitute. Naruto starts off rivaling lesser-Sasuke, spends last episode fighting with lesser-Sasuke and all of this episode chasing after lesser-Sasuke in desperation to ‘rescue’ him- does this sound familiar? If mentioning Sasuke in that sentence 3 times doesn’t give you a clue, go stick your head in some sand, you’ll find the answer there (but please don’t sue me!).

Not really a criticism. What better way to create a filler story almost identical to main plot then to rewrite it and change the characters slightly? Sora is a emo, wants revenge, has a hidden inner power and is courted by a fat version of peadomaru; Furido/Kazuma is yet another bad guy who manages to conduct unethical experiments enhancing ninjas within the walls of Konoha, gets kicked out and now wants it’s complete destruction. I actually can’t knock them for replicating the actual good things of Naruto; epic battles and colourful characters – but by colourful I just mean black !

Because of some retro-plot-making-up-age, Sora becomes Kyubi because Kazuma inserted Kyubi’s chakara into his son’s cells. Next episode, we are headed for Kyubi against genetically engineered Kyubi – I don’t care how it doesn’t make sense, this will be awesome.

Naruto Yaoi hardly ranks at the top of my list of important things but I really need to catch up on Naruto cos apparently it gets better.

Konoha is under attack from zombies and ultimate lightning spell hax (called limelight? XD) but they can’t even manage that without ruining it. Considering Japan is where Shoot the darkies resident evil 5 is made, the zombies were utterly disappointing. One of the zombies freaking talks… he doesn’t even look dead and makes time to apologise before attacking Asuma. Rubbish, rubbish and not scary at all!

When we finally catch up with Naruto and Sora, who resolve their differences while having secksfighting rolling around on top of each other, Sora is confessing to Naruto (or something of the sort). Sadly, Sora breaks something and runs off while Fuko cockblocks Naruto .

This episode ends in 3 one-on-one fights to finish off the parings from way back in episode 59 so for the next episode…

Naruto Shippuuden 67Everyone’s Struggle to the Death

Woody wins, Asuma wins, even Sakura wins! Although her win counts for less cos her transvestite opponent didn’t even throw a punch. Sakura only had to say ‘kyaaaa’ and use an antidote – she’s still useless.

Kiddy this was not tho, Woody and Sakura killed their opponents in cold blood! Only Naruto hasn’t yet finished the fugly Poison Ivy. However, since Furedo embued his spells to his henchmen, who promptly off and got defeated, the barriers came down and his plan is undone. Well that was a bit stupid wasn’t it?

In childhood I was taught not to judge a book by it’s cover, to value the content greater than the presentation, to withhold prejudice on exterior outlook. Oh what bull this was!

Everything is presentation.

When you see a car advert, possibly the second biggest purchase in life, do you see To-toya explaining why you should buy their car? No. You get a something wizzy, arty shots of CG moving through some stunning panoramas; or even more abstract, a dancing robot.

Animé, even within it’s vast umbrella of products, films and TV series, is broadly the same in principle. Presentation sells products, details and longevity comes second. Take the car advert, substitute the dancing robot for oddball moé anime character x,y,z and put her on the DVD cover. SOLD!

The inevitable fact is that in Animé is largely a visual product and it pays to make your product look good, nobody cares how it’s done. Someday’s dreamers: summer skies looks stunning, there is almost no argument about this. Because of this, there has been and will continue to be alot of coverage on the premise of its visuals – for better or worse. I think the ultra-realism looks disjointed with the foreground, but my jaw traitorously drops at every breathtaking backdrop.

Okay, you sold me the car, but is there anything under the bonnet?

Well there’s a pretty decent engine, not much pace but quiet and reliable – it could become quirky. Not much happens in the first episode as fulfills the prologue, it shows Sora’s (the little girl in this animé) life before the city and is a well polished introduction to the series.

But pull a thread and something starts to become undone, though it does not at all fall apart. There are little niggling things: the backgrounds are made with Photoshopped photos (like the technique used in some visual novels) leading to static backgrounds and disjointed overlay; the backgrounds are HDR but the characters are not.

It is harsh to criticise these most minute of details, especially when taken in context of other products like Naruto or Code Geass. However, Someday’s Dreamers clearly sets itself apart by aiming for realism and I think it should be judged according to these standards. So far it’s a pass but I wonder how consistent this animé will be?

The beginning of the arc told of Orang-é-hasta-lá-vista-kun’s unlikely switch to Lelouch’s side which soon precipitated into the death of V.V. and a confrontation between Lelouch and The Emperor. Yet in bait and switch style trickery, The assassin from the past turned out to be Rolo sticking it into Shirley, faggot!

With Nunally completely unaware, Lelouch launches an Geass hunt on V.V.’s weird (probably inbred) underground colony in the Mongolian desert. V.V. loses despite his boss mech because Cornelia is GAR, and because Cornelia knows which buttons to press to expose his weaknesses. In the hunt for V.V. Lelouch gets trapped in front of the Sword of Akasha and his father.

Finally in the world of C, Bill Gates shows you how he shaped the world in his image and gained immortality through instigation of a computing language that rewires brains the Emperor shows us that Ikari Gendo isn’t the only one who can fuck his son over existential quizzing while plodding through abstract backgrounds. The Emperor refuses to die, meanwhile C.C. who wants to die but becomes a loli instead. This episode ends most curiously with the Moé-fication of C.C.

My babble and illogical musings on a Shinigami’s list in Code Geass:

While I usually appreciate a plot twist in my animé, breaking up the usual tandem of Asian repetition, my experience of the recent twists in Code Geass episodes 13 to 15 is rather sanguine. I can’t sake the lingering feeling that it’s forced like a random buggering.

The events preceding this arc, China’s liberation, include alot of development which was mostly irrelevant to Lelouch’s discovery and assualt on V.V’s base. Orange-kun and Shirley’s demise are really random prerequisites which have sparked the arc. With the results even more ludicrous than the cause, it’s disjointed writing which defeats any point in attempting to make predictions. What’s the point? Code Geass is unpredictable bullshit and I’m just here for a ride.

I suppose I should be grateful to have any development in regards to C.C. but I’m sad in a way. Not because it actually explains anything (Illogical fantasy-babble doesn’t mean anything) but because it means Code Geass is drawing to an end.

This was pretty much confirmed by Newtype leakages all over Iichan. As much as I’m SURE that the writers could magic up a continuation of Code Geass into a 3rd season, it looks like they have accepted fate and ritually slit their stomachs in disgrace decided to call it a day at the end of season 2. What a shame!

Progress report by the story originator and main writer Ichirō Ōkouchi:

I’ve finished the script for Code Geass! Finished! It’s not “to be continued”, nor “end of this season”. It’s over, finished, the end.

Starting from the planning of this anime, it’s been 5 full years. Although I’ve been having plenty of jobs, this has been the longest one for me.

My computer fell silent when I was writing the last episode. I had to try to recover it while making the final check on the last episode. It’s quite a handful. But the work in studio isn’t done yet. And my job isn’t completely finished either.

Laughter or tears, the ending is only 4 months away. As for the production staff, who will see the ending in a few weeks, I wish for them to join me in the joy of seeing the end of Code Geass soon.

Newtype Japan (July 2008).

So, there! Following a rapid acceleration into the plot, it looks like Code Geass is entering into the final phase. The series will finish at the end of this season, although with so many characters, I wonder how many will die before the endgame?

13 is lucky for some, but fated to be a bit crap for Shirley. Now it looks like the Star Wars thingy me-bob back in episode 7 might Even V.V., the immortally annoying, dies due to the trickery of the Emperor. I dare say, though, that this won’t be the end of V.V, I fully expect him to return in another plothax. (Yes, Sunrise. I remember who was responsible for the ending of Mai Hime, it was you!).

Shirley’s death prompted a uncharacteristic fit of RAEG from Lelouch (and to more humorous extent, somebloggers). Whether it’d be anger at Rolo or power tripping from his helplessness at Shirley’s side, he condemns the residents of the cult to genocide, men, women, Lolis and Shotas alike. This is quite serious, having now walked the path treaded by Hitler, Milosovich and his own father, and with no less of a straight, calculating face, surely Lelouch has condemned himself to a bad end?

Following a request by the representatives of an international clothes retailer, I have withdrawn the strike witches 4-koma posted on 11th July 2008. I respect the rights of any individual or organisation to alert myself of any offence caused and will take corrective action. I apologise if the brand has been damaged in any way. The images, prose and themes published in this blog are of light humour and is not intended to infringe on any person’s or organisation’s rights in anyway. As ever, if anyone else finds anything offensive, don’t hesitate to drop me an email.

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And that’s as much as I can show you guys without getting into more trouble. It looks like even Phoenix Wright doesn’t even scare these guys away, maybe I need a new lawyer…