This is a request for ANYBODY willing to help me in getting some boundaries set in relation to this man:

I sent the message below to Daniel today. If you – whoever you might be – have the heart to help me in this matter please write me a line at milla.ahola@gmail.com with the subject line “willing to help”. Thank you.

subject: i want boundaries. i want your help with setting them.

daniel. you want to be left in peace. and so do i. i want some peace. and i want some help in setting boundaries.

i was really hurt by you. and i am really hurt by you. and i live with this every day. i deal with this every day. i talk about this every day. i lose energy on this every day.

i dont believe you are looking for a real change. and after the sick rape story you’ve been spreading >>

i want to work out safe spaces. i want to live a life where i dont have to see your face around, and you seem to be looking for the same. we could make this happen. we can both live in peace.

if you will not help me in working this out, i will try contacting people you’re relating with, and ask them for help. getting these boundaries mean that much to me.

i want peace. i want boundaries. i want your help in this. im not putting any restraints on you. you can continue making life happen and creating social relations in whatever way you see fit. you can continue calling me insane and sexually coercive and whatnot: i just want you to respect that in relation to me — the hurt ive gone through in relation to you — that the one way you could help (and stop the hate) would be to WORK OUT BOUNDARIES.

i dont want you to contact me directly about this. if you respond to this, please do this through a third person.

im sending the same message to Lotte. ive talked with her, and she said that she would be okay with asking you about this, supporting me in my request (originally i said that i wanted something like this: face to face confrontation arranged in a way i would feel safe with, where boundaries could be worked out. i have a big need to confront you. but i also have a big need for safety and peace, so my main thing would be to work out some way that i dont have to have anything to do with you or see you as long as you’re not taking any responsibility in making yourself accountable to the sexist stuff and hurtful shit you’ve exposed me to.)

so. if Lotte is okay with it, then i would like to have your response passed on through her.

i will ask Lotte to ask you about this message as well.

i want the hatred to stop,
i can’t stop you from telling whatever reality (to me: Lies) you live in to the people you’re with,
but i would like to stop being exposed to that hatred, and to your presence in different groups we both belong to.

im willing to make compromises in order to not having to see your face around. so this is not about me imposing my will on you. this is about both of us getting something we want and need. i wont be exposed to your hatred anymore – and you get rid of me.

milla

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To get a further understanding of my perspective on this conflict, please read