Rugger Buggers Buggered

The sad tale of the distress caused by England's Rugger Buggers has not been fully recognised. Until now! Today we can reveal the inside story. It is shocking reading and boys at public schools should be warned to go no further!

We tell the tale of Jack Weed whose prowess at school in Rugby football was admired by all. He could tackle, he could score tries, he kicked penalties, he even played as hooker in the scrum when the first choice was injured.

Weed's potential excited the Rugby World and he was the first selection, even before the Captain, for England's World Cup squad.

But Jack Weed had a fatal flaw. He couldn't hold his drink! Every time he had half a pint of bitter he vomited over his comrades. He had to become a teetotaler and this was the beginning of the end.

The rest of team did not want to know him and when he was passed the ball it was deliberately sent behind him. His fellow players tripped him when on the way to scoring and he was never given the chance to score penalties.

Weed never wanted to complain. When he was left out of the team he realised his weakness was too much for the Rugger Buggers to take. We only know of his plight after a leaked report from Alcoholics Anonymous came into our hands. It is the sad tale of Weed's downfalldecribed by a former England Rugby player who had a problem with booze that could only he sorted out by AA.

So, we drink to Jack Weed and downing our vodka, salute him and condemn the boozing Rugger Buggers who condemned him to a living hell.