Gym Stories of "THAT GUY" 2013

One of the gyms I go to has a row of heavybags; they're mostly ceremonial because they're mounted about 12" from a wall of mirrors. This doesn't bother me, because I can 'juggle' the bag I'm working on by moving around it as a part of footwork...err work.

I'm always the only one using any of the bags. This doesn't bother me because the rest of the gym is to my back, and I'm not there to make friends or socialize anyway, and so I wouldn't know, much less care, if I was getting anything from dirty looks to having a chorus of enthralled fans as I hit the bag.

But what does bother me is when, while I'm working on specific combinations (jab, cross, liver shot), some random choad wanders up to the bag adjacent to mine, and starts throwing karate punches and spin kicks like he's fighting an imaginary hoard of armless grandmothers; armless because he's punching from the waist as if he has no risk of anyone throwing a punch back his way, and grandmothers because he acted as if his punches were one-shot KOs.

If it weren't for the idiotic placement of mirrors I wouldn't have noticed any of this except peripherally. And I'm only posting this because I feel conflicted as to whether I made the right call to ignore him, or to give him my best "are you fucking serious?" look and go back to ignoring him.

Re: Gym Stories of "THAT GUY" 2013

Ok, so we all know everybody is created differently. Some folks are blessed with "boss" genes while others are lucky to have all their fingers or the ability to remember to breathe.

This leads me to a common issue I see in a couple of the gyms I go to:

Apparently there are a handful of gentlemen who are well aware of the fact they don't have enough pen0r to hold onto. These scholars graciously bring a handful of toilet paper with which to wipe the urine from their infant-like ballsacks yet somehow can't quite remember where the trashcan is!

Don't be that guy. We realise that you are probably not getting laid, but please don't take your frustrations out on the rest of us. Clean up after yourself. The **** is fucking foul.

Thank you.

Originally Posted by Ming Loyalist

i really think that those who can't get their head around the bowing thing (because their angry sky daddy will punish them) don't deserve judo. life is full of choices, and if your bronze age superstitions are holding you back, so be it.

Even better than a gym heavy bag is seeing people hit the heavy bags in a sporting goods store. I've seen a guy hit a heavy bag with chambered punches from a horse stance, and a girl fall on her back trying to do a high front kick.

Gym Stories of "THAT GUY" 2013

Originally Posted by Permalost

Even better than a gym heavy bag is seeing people hit the heavy bags in a sporting goods store. I've seen a guy hit a heavy bag with chambered punches from a horse stance, and a girl fall on her back trying to do a high front kick.

Seen it. Watched a guy knock a B.O.B. over in Academy and then confusedly ask an employee why the display one wouldn't have its base filled.

When I decided to turn my school into a MMA gym we had two separate buildings. This one guy who had told everybody he had taken years of kickboxing was in the back kicking one of our heavy bags as hard as he could. No technique though, mostly with his foot. I walked back there and told him not to kick the bag.

Him-I'm sure the bag can handle my kicks.
Me-Yeah, I'm sure of that too, but you don't know how to kick.
Him-What?
Me-One of the things we pride ourselves on is kicking and who ever taught you how to kick didn't know what they were doing.
Him-What's wrong with my kicks?
Me-You want my opinion or my instruction?
Him-Well I already know how to kick.
Me-No you don't, you suck.
Him-Who the **** are you?
Me-I'm the head coach.
Him-Are you normally a dick?
Me-Yup.
Him-**** this I'm gone.
Me-*Shrug.

In late 2011 and early 2012 we had a guy show up at our Judo club who had done Judo there as a kid. Now in his 20s, he had decided to take up Judo again to add to his "arsenal" in his quest to be a MMA fighter.

Now, said young man, I'll call him Jim, was medium height and skinny if not a bit wirey. He had had some sort of accident the details I can't recall, that left the fingers on one of his hands a bit stiff and painful. He knew the instructor of the Junior class, and was recruited to help teach that class by said instructor.

Jim was a "legit" Judo brown belt (ikkyu) via Judo BC. His Judo was OK, out of practice, and very old school. I told him that if practiced steadily for a year, he could PROBABLY test for shodan.

He had made a fair amount of money working on some sort of movie production on the coast, and was planning to (get this) go to the Kodokan to get his shodan, then to Thailand to study Muy Thai. He apparently had a lot of money! Next on the agenda was Brazil, where he planned to train BJJ. He was not deluded enough to think he could earn a black belt in a year, but thought purple was not out of the question.

If all this were not enough, he though he was some sort of grappling expert already. He came to the senior class a few times, was treated fairly gently, and actually had some potential. But he couldn't stand that his supposed expertise was getting shown up by young men who were kids when he started Judo.

One night he told me an interesting story. He claimed to have killed a mountain lion with his bare hands. I was a bit skeptical, as might be imagined. Apparently, said lion had been trapped inside a fruit orchard high fence (OK, so it got in but couldn't get out? ), and was quite starved and skinny and weak, hence the fact Jim survived the ordeal.

The straw that broke the camels back though was when I caught him teaching chokes and armbars to little kids one night. I told the junior class instructor to tell him to knock it off. Which he did, during class at least.

However, his ego and desire to be a big "sensei" was apparently more than he could control. I arrived for senior class early one night, to warm up by doing randori with the kids. After class, he took some of the more advanced kids aside and lo and behold, was teaching them (OK, teaching is too strong a word) to do Tobi Juji Gatame, aka, Jumping Juji Gatame (cross arm lock for non japanophiles).

I about blew a gasket and yelled at him across the tatami. I pointed out that 10 year olds were not allowed to do kansetsu waza, and that he could tobi juji his way out of a wet paper bag in any case.

His excuse was that it was "after class" so it was OK to teach whatever he wanted.

Never saw him again after that. I'm sure he's a shodan, Muy Thai expert, and purple belt by now, though.