WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

(story submitted as a comment, by Lana a Chestist, and reposted here, now)

The writer first posted this as a comment to our story on Mothers, and what they teach us about ourselves - for good and ill. Here's her story:

When I was 14, my mom told me that, for her, 130 lbs was "big." At that time, I weighed about 165 lbs. In that moment, I wanted to kill myself.

She wasn't telling me to lose weight, she was expressing her own dissatisfaction with her body. My mom has a curvy hourglass figure - she's wears a 32DD Bra and size 12 pants. Her waist is tiny but she has our family's hips bodacious booty. My whole life, my mother talked about food, and she still does. She decides to "hate" foods that have "too much fat," like cheesecake, which, I recently found out, she actually loves but told me that she hated it my whole life. She won't even drink a latte because it has "too much milk." She has been on Weight Watchers my entire life and when we went around the table ...

(story submitted anonymously, by an 18 yo Chestist)The bedroom lock clicks as she blasts on some music. Once satisfied with its volume, she mindlessly walks into the bathroom and locks the door behind her. She heads over to the sink and washes her hands. As she directs the soap on her index and middle finger, the conversation she heard after dinner plays back in her head…
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The knot in her stomach tightened as she peered through the cracked door. Her brother grabbed their father by the shirt, making himself heard.
“She has a problem, and you know it.”
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Working quickly, she pulls back her hair into a tight knot, and finds a large headband to cover up the rest of the mess.
Her father switched to Tamil; everybody was in for it now. “She has as much of a problem as my son does taking his eyes off a damn computer screen. No one’s stopping you! It’s just something she does to cope.”
Her brother persisted in English. “But it hurts.”
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She looks at the toilet, and washes her hands again.
“Is ...

So Kim Kardashian get hit with a flour-bomb last night at the launch of her new perfume? Does Katy really have a new guy?

Doesn't it sometimes seem like popular culture is focusing on things that maybe just don't matter all that much (and, we like gossip as much as anyone) and on those things that affect one or two of us but not that many of us? Does it ever seem that maybe we should spend more time talking about things like this...

DYK:

- 50% of children 8-10 years old report being "unhappy" with their bodies?

- More than 81% of 10-year-olds said they are terrified of "getting fat."

- 80% of women feel worse about themselves after seeing a beauty ad?

We could go on - and on. We won't though. But we will invite you to keep joining us - and so many others fighting this fight day to day - to try and make a difference. We'll ask you to use your voice to ask "WTF" is going on and question how we begin to change it ...

For some, there's not much that can hate on your happy like your body and body image. As if we need to tell you.

So let's talk about it - in fact, let's talk about it Wednesday the 21st, at 2pm pst/5pm est. We'll be holding this little party at a place called Twitter. Maybe you've heard of it?

All you have to do is follow #FeelMoreBetter (and we hope you do) and join us, @AmandaDeCadenet producer and host of The Conversation; @JessWeiner body image expert and Dove's Global Beauty Ambassador; Super Model Emme of @EmmeNation, and the extraordinary people from The National Eating Disorders Association and @NEDAStaff, as we twitter-chat about how we feel about how we look - and why we feel that way.

We'll have questions for you - but don't hesitate to bring yours to and for this amazing group. If there's anything you want to add to the conversation, or get off your chests now, hit us up in the comments. See you soon. XO

P.S. yup, we know "Happiness" is spelled with an "i". We just think it's cuter like this....and we're all ...

This is from 1 of you, for any who may need it, from someone who's been there. Here's Missy's story:

I am a 40 y/o mother and had bulemia when I was 14-16, and I practiced it on and off thru my later years. I am devastated how it is only getting worse. I want to make a change so bad for these girls "YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL ARE YOU....LEARN IT! LOVE IT! LIVE IT! I would like to share a poem with you I wrote (when i was a teen going through it) to encourage girls with eating disorders

There's a skinny person inside
of me
She's fighting so hard
to be free
But she's coming out in all
the wrong ways
Making me pay prices
I don't want to pay
She loves to watch me eat
and eat
Then run to the bathroom
quickly on my feet
She loves to tease me
she just wont leave
She doesn't care about the pain
I receive...

When was the last time you honestly asked yourself, “How do I feel about me?” “How do I see myself?” Simple and obvious? Maybe not so much.

How we feel about ourselves and bodies affects much more than I think we realize. Our self image, confidence and feelings of self worth ricochet out through the universe — and certainly the universe of our daily lives and interactions. Our feelings impact other people, shaping their feelings about us as well as about themselves.

Do you feel happy? Confident? Beautiful? Centered in your place and mission in your workplace? At home? In relationship? With your children? With self and others?

Self-love is the battery that powers every other kind of love.

I believe many of us suffer the effects of living on an autopilot of low self esteem and negativity. We’re shut down, dismissing the very need to be in healthy dialogue with our inner selves.. The relationship with self must be nurtured first before we can expect to experience fulfilling and reciprocated relationships in other ...

What's in a name, anyway? We'll find out. We're renaming The Self Esteem Act, and from now on it will be known as the Media and Public Health Act. What?! Yes, that's right, the Media and Public Health Act. Catchy, no? Everything about its intent, its focus, and our call for Truth-in-Advertising labeling remains exactly the same.

So why change the name? A few reasons. One, along with the amazing people at the National Eating Disorder Association who are joining with us as co-sponsors of the Media and Public Health Act, we wanted to make crystal clear the cause and effect relationship between the media (and media industries) and public health (ie how people feel and don't, and the consequences of same, based on the images we're served up - and not).

Two, since we first announced it, there have been some who have stood with us and supported the Act's intent but who felt "self-esteem" was not the right articulation of the problem nor the psychological consequence.

Three, after looking at 1 and 2 together, we took a look at the grassroots support we'd captured so far - and ...

(submitted by Alia, a Chestist. Oringinally posted in May, and again today)

Ok, this is us @OOC being serious. This story was submitted by a young girl who's clearly, really and deeply struggling. And we're printing it because we want her to know we're all listening, and maybe some of us have something to say or share based on our own experiences and the roads we've traveled that can help her, or others like. Here's what she says:

(story by OOC via HuffingtonPost)
This first appeared in HuffPo back in September. While it may have been more of a news story then, it's (sadly) no less topical or relevant now. The CFDA is trying to embrace their role and responsibility, which is nothing short of great. We look forward to some of the other major (and minor) players in the worlds of popular culture doing the same. From the original article:

"When the Council of Fashion Designers of America (CFDA) re-released its health guidelines earlier this year, it called for increasing awareness about eating disorder symptoms and recommended a ban on models younger than 16 walking in fashion shows. The goal was industry-specific: To address what the council's website calls the "overwhelming concern about whether some models are unhealthily thin."

But as CFDA CEO Steven Kolb acknowledged, fashion's influence is broader than that.

"As Diane [Von Furstenburg, CFDA president] and I wrote in our outreach letter to the industry ... 'Fashion Week has become a powerful voice, which reaches millions of people across the globe and we should not ...

Hey Seventeen, really? Do you feel no accountability for the way young girls think of themselves? We're asking because on your cover, right below the parts where you tell young girls how they can LOOK HOT IN A BIKINI and GET FLAT ABS & A CUTE BUTT (really?!), you put THIS HEADLINE: EXCLUSIVE! Demi Lovato's Road To Recovery quoting her: "I basically had a nervous breakdown."We're just wondering what role you think you and your cute butt tips for young girls might have played in that breakdown. Any?

This week I sat in a conference listening to a presentation about body image that revealed one of the most horrifying statistics I’ve heard on the subject. The presenter stated that “14% of 5-year-old girls diet.” I was stunned. I am stunned. I know our culture is unrealistic in its expectations—impossible even. I know we have an “obesity epidemic” on our hands. I know we have serious distortions about what it means to be healthy...But dieting at 5 years old?! For a long moment I was unable to focus on the presentation and instead thought of my own wonderful, brave, mischievous, innocent little 4-year-old daughter (turning 5 this April). I felt saddened by the world she is exposed to despite my attempts to shelter her. And then my thoughts turned to her twin brother who is similarly victimized by our world (as is his 17-year-old cousin who has indeed lost himself and his dreams to the world of body ...