One In A Trillhttp://oneinatrill.com
One In A TrillSat, 06 Jan 2018 08:04:54 +0000en-UShourly1https://wordpress.org/?v=4.8.5Friends & Foeshttp://oneinatrill.com/2017/10/16/friends-foes/
http://oneinatrill.com/2017/10/16/friends-foes/#commentsMon, 16 Oct 2017 16:32:30 +0000http://oneinatrill.com/?p=205Over the last couple of years I’ve weeded specific types of people out of my life. Not just purposely, but through change. When things started to look up for me, I started noticing I had friends/associates who just didn’t seem happy for me. They’d respond to any joyous thing I brought to them with negativity. I started realizing these people were contributors to the downer moods I was having. Ironically, when I’d cut them off, they would push back with anger. Seems to me that my friends were really foes and enjoyed watching my life spiral out of control over and over again. Why couldn’t I see this before?

I concluded that I hadn’t seen this before because I was really hard on myself. It was hard to see everyone else’s negativity when I was being blinded by a cloud of my own. My “friends” really didn’t encourage me or give me hope. They contributed to keeping me under water. Maybe it made them feel good about their own lives? Truth be told, theirs weren’t perfect either.

I saw a meme one day that said if you want to see who your real friends are, then all you need to do is make progress in your life. There was a time when I would be kind of bothered by the things people closest to me would say. I don’t allow people to steal whatever joy I have now. As soon as someone starts behaving negatively I cut them off. It was something I should have done a long time ago. But you live and you learn.

I wish that I could have kept some of those friends but they just weren’t positive influences in my life. I needed that. I was tired of being everyone’s backbone. Being the one that people can turn to when they need help or someone to talk to when they need advice wasn’t always good because while I was uplifting people they were pushing me down. It wasn’t just being negative… it was the fact that they were always pushing their problems onto me when I was dealing with my own shit. I was being burdened and rarely ever considered when it was time for me to share my problems. When people see that you’re strong, they assume that you always are and therefore don’t always see when you need a shoulder too.

]]>http://oneinatrill.com/2017/10/16/friends-foes/feed/3Hair Stuffhttp://oneinatrill.com/2017/09/05/hair-stuff/
http://oneinatrill.com/2017/09/05/hair-stuff/#commentsTue, 05 Sep 2017 03:53:23 +0000http://oneinatrill.com/?p=197It’s been nearly 2 months since my last update. Laziness, as usual. Get ready for the boring shit. To start off, maintaining natural hair without chemicals has proven to be difficult over the years. I’ve experienced shedding, breakage, split ends, and just overall dry and brittle hair. Initially Shea Moisture products were working great for me but over time they simply stopped working. My hair has difficulty absorbing moisture because it is of low porosity. Over the summer I did some hair research and discovered a few things:

Hair steamer: Dealing with low porosity hair can be a pain but it’s not impossible to maintain. I purchased the Q Redew hair steamer. When you have low porosity hair, your hair cuticles are basically closed. Using a hair steamer opens the cuticles and allows moisture in. I’ve found the Q Redew to be a very useful product and I’m 100% glad that I purchased it. After shampooing my hair, I use the Q Redew right before a deep conditioning. I’ve found this to be an effective hair steaming method for me. My hair seems to maintain moisture after this method.

Protein Treating: When I started on my natural hair journey I was transitioning rather than doing the “big chop.” To keep the hair strong during transitioning, I was doing protein treatments every 6 weeks. Now that all of my hair is completely natural, I discovered the treatments were less effective because my hair pretty much always maintain it’s own efficient levels of protein.

Oil Treatments: This was something that I simply was not doing and it is one of the simplest things to do and also great for my hair type. One oil in particular that I’ve discovered to be most effective is Amla Oil. Initially I couldn’t deal with its strong smell but this treatment has worked wonders for my hair. Please note that this isn’t really an oil you should apply to your hair and not wash out unless you do this in moderation. For more information, research on how to use Amla Oil.

Clarifying Shampoos: These pretty much thoroughly wash residue/products out of hair when they build up. This was an issue for me being as though my hair wasn’t successfully absorbing products. Products would build up in my hair making it sticky at times.

Boring shit. But if you’re looking to maintain healthier natural hair, it can be helpful.

]]>http://oneinatrill.com/2017/09/05/hair-stuff/feed/4I Think I’m Getting Oldhttp://oneinatrill.com/2017/07/05/i-think-im-getting-old/
http://oneinatrill.com/2017/07/05/i-think-im-getting-old/#commentsWed, 05 Jul 2017 05:43:31 +0000http://oneinatrill.com/?p=151Oh, the things I consider to be entertaining at my age. Of course, I enjoy reading a good book. Although, I haven’t read anything because of the reading that I have to do for my classes. The thought of reading a book after assigned reading just isn’t an appealing option. However, during my free time I enjoy watching TV Shows and movies. My addiction is serious. I have an actual app called Seen It just to keep up with my shows. I come across movies mostly just browsing Netflix or Amazon Prime. I think maybe I will start doing movie reviews here too. I realized the other day that I don’t see that very often when I’m reading blogs. Some people like clothes, shows, and beauty tips. I like movies and shows. So far I’ve done one book review but I do plan on doing more in the future. I just may do some for books I’ve already read. We’ll see.

I’ve always been interested in the writing of scripts and books. I’m a creative writing major after all. I’m doing very well in school by the way. Some of the courses I’m taking are very interesting. I’ve been especially indulged in my sociology course. It seems like some of the things I talk about with my friends fit into the realm of sociology. I briefly considered becoming a sociology major but that thought was completely short lived. I mean, I love the subject and all but I haven’t a clue where that would lead me in the future. I’m sure there are a plethora of possibilities… that I’m just too uninterested to explore.

I was searching for a wordpress theme because I wanted something very simple that would fit my blog. I couldn’t find anything suitable enough for me. Some of the themes that I do like appear to require photos in nearly every post. Not really sure how this would work for me because I don’t take photos often and especially not just for a blog. That’s too much pressure. In the meantime I plan on just tweaking this theme more. After all, this is a theme that I made from scratch. I built this theme years ago and created numerous themes from this one during the time. I suppose it’s just easier to stick to what I know. [EDIT] I ended up finding something simple and suitable. Tweaking is in session. [/EDIT]

]]>http://oneinatrill.com/2017/07/05/i-think-im-getting-old/feed/6Blogging Intentionshttp://oneinatrill.com/2017/04/18/blogging-intentions/
http://oneinatrill.com/2017/04/18/blogging-intentions/#commentsTue, 18 Apr 2017 13:31:46 +0000http://oneinatrill.com/?p=143I’ve been blogging since 2005. I remember browsing an old social media site called CrushSpot and coming across people who were designing their own websites and blogging. It was intriguing to me and so I downloaded PaintShop Pro and began designing. It was basically random shit because I was trying to learn the basics of graphic design. I spent many nights teaching myself HTML/CSS and WordPress. Unfamiliar with web hosting and domains, I simply started out on free sites. Sheesh, it’s been so long that I don’t even remember any of them that I used. I blogged every other day, maybe, about meaningless shit. I’d always had a passion to express myself but whenever I’d blog, I’d never have anything meaningful to say. All I wanted to do was have a blog site. I bought my first domain in 2006 and never looked back. Everything changed for me when I realized I had free reign over my entire site. No ads or other limitations anymore.

Now I barely blog these days. I’m not even really interested in blog design anymore. Truth be told, I visit my own site often and change little things here and there just so I don’t get rusty because I hope that one day I will be able to spruce my blog up and really get down to business. I think about silly shit though. Like damn, I’m 32 years old and blogging. Is that even appropriate? But I’m sure there are people older than me who blog all of the time. It’s funny because when I first started blogging there wasn’t really anything exciting going on in my life, yet I could blog about just about anything all of the time. Now that I’m older with more going on, I find that I don’t really feel the need to blog.

I always have intentions on blogging. But then I get lazy or caught up in other things so it becomes less of a priority. It’s no priority really. I refuse to pressure myself to complete the task but I do try to remember this is my little place on the web where I can go when I want to express myself or even vent. Whatever the case may be, my number one goal is to stop coming here and talking about how I’m NOT blogging and actually do it. After all, my major is writing.

]]>http://oneinatrill.com/2017/04/18/blogging-intentions/feed/5An Updatehttp://oneinatrill.com/2016/12/12/an-update/
http://oneinatrill.com/2016/12/12/an-update/#commentsMon, 12 Dec 2016 06:18:26 +0000http://oneinatrill.com/?p=135I have been the worst blogger. Things aren’t the same for me as they use to be years ago. Life has actually gotten exponentially better for me in the last couple of years. I’m no longer dealing with my very needy and destructive family. I’m back in school. I’ve made so many life changes from quitting coffee and doing yoga, to really focusing on making an attempt at living a stress-free life. Of course, things come along that seem to dampen things sometimes but it’s much easier for me to bounce back these days. School is school. Most of the time when I’m not working or tending to the kids, I’m tending to school work. There are some days when I’m utterly frustrated with schoolwork because my classes are online and things are done a little bit differently. For example, quite a few of my online courses will require me to keep submitting drafts for papers with requirements and what not. I mean, I get why it’s done this way but I’m not use to writing that way. I admit that I’m a last minute type of chick and I hate feeling pressured. I submitted a draft for a humanities course and my instructor docked me points because my paper was only 2 1/2 pages (the final paper was to be 3-5 pages) and I’m just like damn I thought this was a rough draft though? She was so concerned about the length of my draft that she didn’t even provide feedback for the pages I already had. It was frustrating. I truly hated that course though. It was basically a course about the history of art. I truly appreciate art, don’t get me wrong, but there are just certain pieces of art that I could do without. Like all of those statues of naked men from Greek and Roman eras. I understand their meaning, but I mean, seriously?

Other than school, everything is pretty much the same. I have had some really interesting projects that I’m currently working on to bring in more income that I feel could be successful. I’m trying to be one of those people who don’t need to rely on simply leaving the house to go to some 9-5 to make a living. Working from home has always been a dream and I plan on making that dream come true. I’m just so tired of the monotony of my everyday life and I feel like I need more freedom in my days. I’m sure anyone could relate. With the advancement of technology, working from home could really be a thing of the future. Anyway, when I finally bring these things to fruition, I will definitely be sharing them here.

]]>http://oneinatrill.com/2016/12/12/an-update/feed/12Motivationhttp://oneinatrill.com/2016/09/05/motivation/
http://oneinatrill.com/2016/09/05/motivation/#commentsMon, 05 Sep 2016 05:33:46 +0000http://oneinatrill.com/?p=131I miss the days when I would open my laptop, log in to wordpress, and allow my thoughts to flow from my mind to my fingertips. That was when life was easier, I wasn’t a full time mommy of two, and I wasn’t really too caught up in TV Shows. It seems like the older I got, the more I found myself escaping the stresses and monotony of life through books, tv shows, and movies. But when I look back and evaluate my younger self, I’m often wondering just what the fuck I was doing with my life besides working, coming home, and bullshitting on the internet. Sometimes on the weekends, I’d go out with my friends and sisters to clubs and have a drink or two. But what was I REALLY doing?

For some years I was lost in work and taking care of my family. I didn’t really give too much thought to my dreams anymore because I didn’t think they mattered. For years I considered going back to college but every time I’d try, something would hinder me from doing so. Much could be done about this… like the fact that I’d had a previously defaulted loan I could have easily taken care of. It wasn’t until life started really getting the best of me that I decided to stop the excuses, take care of the loan, and enroll in an online school. Boy am I glad that I did that. Initially, I wanted to pursue a degree in graphic design. It wasn’t until I started taking many different courses that graphic design wasn’t for me so I chose to pursue something more passionate for me, writing.

My time is often limited to working, caring for my family, and school. But I’m successfully becoming better at managing my time. I find more time to do more things if I stick to a schedule and plan more effectively… and stick to it. But overall, I feel my dreams emerging once again. I use to be a huge daydreamer, but for a while I was just in a monotonous trance. I’m dreaming more because I want more for me and my family. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life just working and being a mother. I want to enjoy life for myself as well. I had this false notion that once I started a family my wants were no longer important. But I couldn’t have been more wrong. They are important because in order for my family to be happy, I have to be happy as well.

It’s going to be a strenuous journey and I know at times I’m going to feel overwhelmed and frustrated (it has already begun) but I have never felt more motivated than I do now.

For the last couple of weeks I’ve been watching True Blood. I’m aware that the show is old but I needed something to satisfy my appetite for watching vampire shows since I’m all caught up on Vampire Diaries. I admit, I thought the show would be incredibly disturbing but I was wrong. It’s a mixture of gore, comedy, drama, and suspense. I like it. However, there are a few characters that I find to be incredibly annoying. The main character, Sookie, is one of them. Not only is she naïve, at least to me, but she comes off as a bit of an imbecile. Sometimes she seems irrational and I find that to be incredibly annoying. I’m not sure if the writers intended for it to be this way but it’s annoying, nonetheless. Her best friend, Tara, is extremely annoying. Her irrational temper and rage is that of a child. I’m sure the writers intended to show her character to be the result of a life of neglect and mistrust, but her character can be overwhelmingly agitating. I suppose you could say that I don’t like the way her character is written. Black women, in particular, are viewed in society as irrational and angry almost to a point of being unbearable. To me, that’s what I felt taking in her character, but it was more or less exaggerated. There are points during the show when she would wig out on even people who cared deeply for her. Ugh.

Anyway, my next class doesn’t begin until August 22, so I have some time to relax a bit. I like the way my classes are broken up so that I don’t feel overwhelmed with too much in my life. My last class was an English course that, despite my love for English in general, I felt to be too much for me for no other reason than me simply not using good time management skills. The truth is, I like to do things at my own pace and when I feel like it because my life is just filled with enough routine already. However, if I want to do well, I can’t keep doing things at the last minute because it does nothing but stress me out. My next course will be an Introduction to Creative Writing and I’m truly looking forward to it.

]]>http://oneinatrill.com/2016/08/15/in-my-leisure/feed/2Reuniting With My Passionhttp://oneinatrill.com/2016/06/18/reuniting-with-my-passion/
http://oneinatrill.com/2016/06/18/reuniting-with-my-passion/#commentsSat, 18 Jun 2016 07:10:35 +0000http://oneinatrill.com/?p=99I have been absolutely terrible with keeping up with this blog and as always for no other reason than simply being lazy. To be honest, I haven’t been doing much of anything that involves any leisurely pleasure because of work, parental, and student duties. As I mentioned previously, I had to drop some classes but when the next quarter started, I made sure that I was ready to stay on track. I have been doing exceptionally well considering everything that’s been on my plate. My classes are online, which is convenient for a working parent, but of course the absence of the traditional social experience can be limiting.

As with most things involving the internet, you don’t really get a true feel for how someone is communicating. There is a term that has come into existence called “Netiquette,” which is basically a guide to communicating effectively online. While this “technique,” for lack of a better word, is encouraged when taking online classes, one still may never capture the tone of the person who is relaying the message. Nonetheless, as time continues, I’m certain that I will fully get into the swing of things. I have been an avid internet user for a very long time but I’m still not accustomed to online schooling.

When I first started school again back in October of last year, my major was Graphic Design. Graphic Design had practically been my life since 2005. It was just something I loved doing and was good at. Because of those factors, I got sucked into the belief that it was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. But after taking classes I realized that it was never my passion. I was always a writer. Growing up I wrote poetry, short stories, and short plays. After dealing with so many family issues I stopped writing. I didn’t have the time to write anymore and I most certainly didn’t have peace, quiet, or inspiration to do so. Taking courses and writing papers helped me to regain the motivation that I’d lost so long ago and I was surprised to discover that it was almost like I never put the pen down.

Now that I’ve rekindled what I’d lost, I’m finding my classes to be relatively easier and relevant. I absolutely enjoy writing, which really is funny considering I haven’t been really motivated to update this blog. In due time though…

]]>http://oneinatrill.com/2016/06/18/reuniting-with-my-passion/feed/5Life Gets Goodhttp://oneinatrill.com/2016/02/29/life-gets-good/
http://oneinatrill.com/2016/02/29/life-gets-good/#commentsMon, 29 Feb 2016 06:12:23 +0000http://oneinatrill.com/?p=89I can’t believe I let so much time pass since my last post. As you know, I’ve been rather busy. However, it turned out that at some point I just couldn’t keep up with my work because of family life so I had to withdraw from some classes. No worries though, I will be regrouping again in March with the program I’m in. Time management seems to be a problem for me because my children need a lot of my time. By the time they go to bed at night, I don’t feel like doing much of anything except relaxing. I’ve tried on numerous occasions to stay up late, read, and catch up with school work but it never seems to work out. I catch myself drifting off to sleep or my mind just begins to wander and it’s so hard to bring that focus back. I thought it would get easier but for some reason it got just a little bit harder. My daughter takes a lot of my time and I literally have to wait until she’s asleep to get anything done, which sucks because I’m usually tired too. I’m not going to give up though.

Despite that minor set back, life is good. My job is a little more tolerable than usual and other areas of my life seem to be looking good also. I’ll be making more updates in the future. I really want to update my blog more because blogging use to be so therapeutic for me and I feel like maybe if I blogged more I could better clear my mind. If only I could be a just a little more organized…

]]>http://oneinatrill.com/2016/02/29/life-gets-good/feed/2Finallyhttp://oneinatrill.com/2015/11/18/finally/
http://oneinatrill.com/2015/11/18/finally/#commentsWed, 18 Nov 2015 13:13:55 +0000http://oneinatrill.com/?p=81Guess who has finally starting going back to school again after years of issues and sorting things out? I can’t stress enough how excited I am about this journey.

I knew time management was going to be an issue and believe me when I say that it truly is. Being a full time mother and also working full time can be a challenge for any person who is embarking on a journey through college. I can’t tell you how many times, since I’ve started classes, I’ve wished that I had the means to attend school full time and not have to worry about the stress of work also. I don’t have that option, unfortunately. But don’t think for a second that I’m not searching for ways to make this happen. I’d love nothing more than to have the option of working from home where I’d not only be able to multitask but be able to do more with the children also. If I don’t then no big deal. This journey will put me on the path to, perhaps, starting a home-based business. A girl can dream.

I have been super busy with everything. Sometimes when I have the time to just relax, I’d rather lay around and watch movies and/or TV. I mean, I was already doing that but now it’s necessary in order to free my mind of routine and obligation. I didn’t imagine things would be this difficult considering I’m doing the online college thing this time around. I’m doing well but actually being able to concentrate long enough to finish readings has been a challenge. I’m only now starting to break apart my readings thanks to my Success Strategies course. That’s easier than just simply sitting down to read at the last minute. Don’t get me started on papers. I’ve been dealing with the consequences of procrastination. I’ll leave it at that.

Having all of this on my plate hasn’t been easy. I’m accustomed to having a lot to handle but now I’m forced to find time to sit down and get schoolwork done and anyone who is a parent knows how hard that can be. My daughter, especially, demands lots of my attention. But I find the best time to do anything school related is usually after the kids have gone to bed and on the weekends when they’re away.