Husband, Father, Minister and singer songwriter that gives his humble opinion and voice from his experience living in today's world. Life might just be crazier than you think.

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Move Towards a Hot Mess

When faced with a hot mess that we have made
or watched someone makes a big mess and wanted to walk away. We see a person
who is a total hot mess and say “I don’t know where to start” so we just walk
away. Maybe right now in your life or sometime in your life you had someone who
was a hot mess that you wanted to walk away from. Someone who had made such a
big mess of their life that you just wanted to walk the other way. You watched
the decisions they were making, their actions, and you just wanted to walk or
run away from their hot mess. That little voice inside of you was saying “Don’t
ask questions. Don’t get involved.” Alarms inside of you are going off, and it
was so messy that you just pretend you didn’t notice anything and you walk
away. Jesus addressed this very topic. One day Jesus and some lawyers were
having a discussing with about thirty or so others around. When asked Jesus
relied to the lawyer what does the scripture say about that? The lawyer
correctly quoted the Old Testament scripture of love your neighbor as yourself.
Jesus said, “You are exactly correct. Now go do that!” And as Jesus was leaving
the lawyer looking for a loop whole said, “Well who exactly is my neighbor?”
Jesus did what Jesus does best, rebuttal with a story or parable to make his
point. It is one of the most famous parables we all know the Good Samaritan and
it was applicable to the lawyer’s questions as well as to us today. The message
in this parable is clear. We don’t have to think hard to understand what Jesus
meant or the point Jesus was trying to drive home. But the last sentence Jesus
gets us. He says, “Now go and do likewise.” That is a directive that is so much
easier said than done. We see a need, we see messy people, and we know we
should go and do likewise but it’s so hard. It’s hard to figure out who, the
where, the when and the how. We want to
help but there is a fine line between helping and enabling. We all know people
in our neighborhood, our families, our friends that when the phone rings and we
see who is calling before we answer we already know they are only calling
because they need something. What is in us that keeps us from answering. What
is in us that as soon as we see the name on our phone we dread the
conversation? What keeps us from responding like the Samaritan?

I believe there are three things that keep us from
helping. First is inconvenience. Stopping and helping or moving towards someone
else mess is inconvenient. Don’t we see people’s hot mess at our busiest time?
We live in a busy culture. Being busy is not bad per say but we can be too
busy. We can get busy and hyper focused on life so we say to ourselves “I don’t
have time for you.” The priest and Levite were busy people. It was not like
they were off to do something bad. More than likely they were off to the temple
or church for a religious meeting. They were not evil bad people; they didn’t
have the capacity of time for this man in their schedule. Sometimes we get so
busy that we are too busy to follow Jesus. Here is a question to ask yourself
if your life is too busy: Are the people who need you an inconvenience? Do you
view them as inconvenience or an opportunity? We are too bust when messy people
are inconveniences instead of opportunities to serve God, opportunities to love
somebody. The second reason we walk on by is because it’s uncomfortable.
Crossing over the street and moving towards a mess or messy people is
uncomfortable. We love and walk towards comfort. We strive for our comfort
zone. Comfort zones are good but not a great place to live. It we only live in
our comfort zone, we may feel safe but we will not be happy. We will never
achieve the best version of ourselves inside our comfort zone. We achieve the
best version of ourselves outside our comfort zone moving towards the mess. God
is using that chaos, that uncomfortable circumstance to help us love and grow.
If we insist only on comfort boredom will quickly set in. The third thing that
keeps us for moving towards a mess is we are no longer in control. We love
control. If you move towards someone else mess you give up control. When you
moved towards someone else mess you will learn quickly you could not control
their anger, you could not control their drug use, you could control their
violent outburst, you could control their very bad decision making. You know it
gets frustrating. God doesn’t want you to control your messy person. God
doesn’t want you to fix them. God wants you to be there, love them, and walk
beside them. So if you are thinking your job is to fix the mess, take some
pressure off yourself. God wants you loving and being there. People, especially
mess people, are not projects. If you are wired like me, you like to embrace a
problem and work until you find a solution. We need to let go and say God you
got this. It’s not to address peoples messes the way we think they need to be
fixed but to show up, be there, and let God do His thing.