I’m sure MrH must find me irritating at times. Probably more often than not. I argue with myself and him. I challenge him and defy him when I really need him to push back and take tight control.

When I’m ill for example, and I’m not taking about minor or short lived ailments (colds, migraines etc) MrH tends to relax the rules. The effect this has on me isn’t necessarily good. I drift. I withdraw. I feel rejected and unwanted.

Now I think he would say these feelings are irrational and he’s probably right but they don’t stop them from happening.

Our dynamic, our rules, our agreement is entirely individual. It’s ours and there is unlikely to be another couple in a D/s relationship who operate in exactly the same way as we do. And do you know what? That’s ok. More than ok. That’s how it should be. No one should try to emulate another couples dynamic it will ultimately fail because it isn’t “theirs”.

The best bit of advice you can give or receive to any new couple or persons starting out is this.

“Listen to others, find out as much information as you can, then take those ideas away, and talk. Decide what makes sense to you and put the rest aside.”