Thursday, April 12, 2012

Change

Change is often a scary subject. Making a change can be exhilarating
and positive if we allow it to be, but there is always some trepidation and
anxiety that goes along with it. Humans, in general, like routine and structure
even if we don’t want to admit it. Entering into the unknown, even if it is for
the better, brings about feelings of uncertainty and dread.

How do we know that the proposed change is a good thing? How do we
know it won’t end in catastrophic failure? Well, the answer to that is we don’t
know, but it is this lack of knowing that makes it exciting. Trying something
new can allow us to grow as individuals or it can end in disappointment, but
that's okay too.

If we don’t allow for change or don’t even let the possibility into
our consciousness, then, when there is an unforeseen change, we panic and the
outcome is much more likely to be negative.

When do we know it is time to change? If you are doing the same
things time and again and they are ending in the same unproductive results, it may
be time to change.

Change is hard, it is scary, it is stressful at times, but it can
also be worth it! Take a leap and challenge yourself.

Now, while I feel the sentiments of this blog are true, I think it
is also important that we address the other side of change. People often feel
that, if they change their scenery or their situation, it will change who they
are. I admit that our surroundings have an impact on us - that goes without
question, but who we truly are will follow us everywhere.

For example, if you are in a relationship and are constantly jealous
and worried that your partner is unfaithful to you, that personality trait is
likely to be your own. Finding somebody new will undoubtedly end in the same
result, (unless of course that person is actually unfaithful and your worries
are accurate!). The new partner can't change your own true self. That
kind of change only happens through self-examination and hard work.

If you think that moving cities or jobs will reinvent your life and
you will suddenly be changed into a different person, you're likely wrong. We
carry ourselves with us wherever we go. Our fears, superstitions, and
self-inflicted drama will follow us no matter where on the globe we are. This
change of scenery idea is often a notion believed by the young. “I need to get
out of this crappy town and go somewhere better” is a statement I have heard
many times and even said myself. I even tried it once. The problem is that our
chosen social circles and our attitude towards our surroundings are our own.
They don’t change because we have transplanted ourselves. You can surround
yourselves with positive people in any city on the planet. You can meet new
people and experience new things no matter where you are.

Making change can be very positive, but expecting that a superficial
change - different environment, different partner - will make us into a better
version of ourselves is incorrect. To develop a better version of ourselves, we
need to look within. Making a better you starts with you.

In order to make fundamental changes in ourselves, we need to
recognize and address what our own problems are and that is often extremely
difficult. We humans are generally egocentric and expect that the world should
change while we stay the same. After all, everyone else is crazy while we
are totally sane, right? The problem is that we all believe that to be true.
Somebody is wrong.