Facebook, a never-ending source of useful information, has been our goto for up-to-the-minute election coverage this past season. As such, it’s probably caused us more anxiety about this election than any one speech, Wikileaks email, or video featuring Billy Bush. Your Facebook wall feeds into your worst fears about the candidates, and Stephen Colbert knows it.

On The Late Show with Stephen Colbert last night, Colbert took a big swig of cough syrup, dusted off his box of Reynolds wrap, and made a new tin foil hat to block the radio signals that the Illuminati uses to read our minds. Colbert is full of great intel about such things as the whereabouts of Chumbawumba, the shadowy industry of upstate New York weddings, and what oysters actually are. By the end of it, you’ll have your cork board up and long strands of yarn connecting seemingly disparate items together to prove your theory that, hey, what if the Chicken McNugget is more nugget than chicken?

While Godzilla vs. the Scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz sounds like the shortest and most boring Godzilla movie ever, one passionate group of Godzilla fans want to even the score.

This team put together a huge tribute to the fire-breathing lizard known mostly for leveling Japanese cities and expressing post-World War II nuclear anxiety. Built from rice straw by over 150 volunteers, straw Godzilla doesn’t serve as the metaphor for nuclear destruction that its inspiration does, but it is really cool and took about four months to complete. It even has LED eyes, which makes it scary but not as scary as a giant lizard knocking over buildings and reminding us all of the awesome power of nuclear weapons.

What does it take to get you to vote? Is it civic duty? A profound belief in a candidate? Fear of another candidate?

For almost half the American population, none of these things matter because they don’t vote. In fact, only about 56 percent of Americans voted in 2008. There are no numbers on this, but it’s entirely reasonable to think that maybe more people say “Thanks, Obama” than voted for him.

So what does it take? Money? Would you like money out of a candidate's pocket? Well, that’s not gonna happen, buddy! This is America! We don’t pay for votes here, so take it some place else.

But what about those celebrity videos? Can Stanley Tucci get you to vote?

Sorry, Tucc. No. Celebrity videos where they guilt you into voting don’t work because they depend on the old theory of “rational self-interest,” i.e. the idea that people will vote based on heavily-reinforced social norms. People don’t operate based on “rational self interest,” do they? People say that they’re going to vote but, in many cases, don’t actually do it.

Over on YouTube, The Nerdwriter found something that just might work: shame. That’s right, if shamed into it, people will vote. He offers some different methods for implementing the age-old practice of shame, like a thing on Facebook that says “I Voted” or, the Scarlett Letter of the digital age, “I Didn’t Vote.”

This young gentleman, probably out for a fun night with friends, thought his choice to join the vape life would be a carefree entry into doing cool vapor tricks and wearing a fedora. Little did he know that his night was about to get explosive.

This security cam footage shows what we already presumed, a man vaping near a car, looking cool and not at all ridiculous with his e-cigarette that looks like a cross between a Men in Black neuralizer and that Doctor Who wand. Everything’s going fine, until he pops that pen back in his pocket, and, well, it all goes up in smoke after that.

Thankfully, the man appears to dance his way out of it. Next time, he might not be so lucky.

Let this be a lesson to you: if you’re going to vape, make sure you wear some flame retardant clothes that look like this: