Figuring Out the Stuff Between the Beginning and the End

Innocuous Super Powers

I remember a time when I was having a random conversation with a friend, as we often do. At one point, he began talking about random super powers. Not the kind of powers that would get you membership with the Justice League or the Avengers, but regular powers that could possibly be considered the worst super powers in the world. Like the guy in City Slickers that always knows the perfect flavor of ice cream to follow any given meal. That’s not a great super power, but it could be impressive nonetheless. Today, I bring you the tale of the guy that can always find a parking spot right up close. I give you… Park-Man!

It was another one of those hot, humid days that were always so abundant in the south. Park-Man didn’t particularly feel like running errands that day, but he knew that the kids needed milk for their cereal and his wife needed hair color to cover up those few strands of gray that she insisted were really there. So Park-Man left his apartment dressed in civilian attire. After all, he didn’t need the whole world knowing about his super alter-ego and his ability to always find the perfect parking spot. Sure, on a scorcher like today, that ability would certainly come in handy for him when he got to Target. But he knew how it would be if he went in his work clothes. “Hey, Parking Guy! Can you help me find a spot?” He would hear that yelled at him from all over the parking lot. And he would inevitably roll his eyes because, well, his name was Park-Man, not Parking Guy. But, because he would feel the need to help his fellow man, he would point directly at the perfect spot for whoever yelled. “Thanks, Parking Guy!” the citizen would say. They were always very grateful. But, sometimes, he thought, some of these people could really use the exercise that comes with walking halfway across the lot. But it was his sacred duty to find a really great parking spot. It was a task that he never took lightly. And so, Park-Man made his way to the store wearing a t-shirt and jeans, and he found the perfect parking spot. He drew sideways glances from strangers, as if they were thinking, “How did that guy luck out and get such a prime space?” Park-Man, kept safely inside his secret identity, just walked on by and got his shopping done. No one knew that he was secretly finding great parking spots through his peripheral vision. And he knew that, someday soon, he would be sharing those great spots with all the people around him. And he looked forward to the day when he would be able to park in that great parking spot right in front of the Hall of Justice. That’s right, kids, even super-heroes have dreams.