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Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Erotic Truths, Day 27~Xtra Spice?

27. Your man/woman likes to have sex with the same sex. Are you willing to invite this into your bedroom? Why?

My views on this have to come from an objective place because of how I am….

It all comes down to two things: honesty and communication.

I feel like a person’s sexuality should be discussed from the gate. It is too dangerous to go around assuming.

Some people say you can tell a person’s sexual preference, particularly a man’s, by how he looks and how he talks. That is not necessarily the case. Same goes for a female.

In some cases, it is the man that goes out of his way to project masculinity that lives an alternate lifestyle. Same as it goes for the female.

But there is also a bigger stigma associated with men of the lifestyle than females.

With females, it’s seen as sexy, an invitation to some guys to watch, join in, or both. With guys, however, the reaction can be quite different, even from females who are into the lifestyle.

I know it’s a double standard, just exposing you to the reality.

If the guy was honest about this, then I have the decision to make whether I can roll with it or not, first off. (Of course, if he wasn't, there would be a footprint on his ass...there wouldn't even be this blog)

Let’s assume for this question that I am rolling with it...

It also depends on the stage he is in. He could be “coming of age”--just now coming to terms with his sexuality. There are guys who are into the same sex but have never acted upon it; it doesn’t change the attraction.

He could be very active; he has to be honest about the level of activity. Does he do it every once in a while? Does he do it often? Has it been his primary lifestyle and he’s trying to go back to females?

All of these have to be taken into consideration because if same sex is his primary, then I would have to definitely cut my losses, for I feel like I wouldn’t have much to bring to the table. Both of us would be deprived of satisfaction.

Also, the origin of why. If he just needs his anus stimulated and penetrated…if he just needs that sensation from time to time, if I’m willing to be open enough to provide that, he would not need to go outside the relationship. He would not need to bring another person in this, and I would prefer another person not be brought into it.

Even if communication was on point, there are too many X factors in the whole situation, not just with the guy and myself but with the new person being brought into it. Is the guy closeted or out? What if his feelings started getting deeper? There are too many unknowns for that set up to come out as mostly positive.