Now that I’ve been on the new Weight Watchers program for a month or so, I finally decided that I should no longer be eating my “Fit Points” — the measure of my daily/weekly activity. I used the swapping feature as a crutch, a transition, while I was acclimating to the new program. I’d only intended to do it that way for the first week or two. Now I’ve figured out the new program, though, and my weight loss is stalling (again… or still), and it’s time to do the program right.

My main problem is one that I’ve known about for years: I make poor decisions when I’m tired. My fatigued brain frequently thinks that sugar will fix tired, and it invariably does not work out like my brain thinks it should. Two Little Debbies are not worth an entire meal’s worth of SmartPoints, no matter how tired I am on a Sunday afternoon.

The solution, of course, is to make the decisions ahead of time, and to consider them made and immutable. That’s easier said than done, though, and depends upon me being in the right mindset. I veer wildly from I’ve Got This! to Fuck It, I’m Eating What I Want. One day of poor choices can set me back a week or more of weight loss — and that one day usually happens on Monday, right before weigh-in day. The silver lining is that it usually only takes me a day or two to re-lose a one-day gain like that, and then I’m back on track.

I thought I had a good solution: hearty breakfast, super-light lunch, then salad and protein for dinner. Unfortunately, my solution only lasted a few days before I needed a hearty lunch to go with my hearty breakfast. The light-lunch option worked well for a return to proper eating after a day or two of stupidity, but isn’t going to be a permanent eating pattern. Perhaps I can plan to do that once a week — again, remove the decision factor from my day.

NSVs (Non-Scale Victories):

Stopped by the 6th floor to grab something to eat after kickboxing class. They had macaroni and cheese in the steamer tray — and it didn’t even sound good. Got a wrap instead.

My chiropractor told me (again) that I keep getting skinnier and skinnier every time she sees me. I told her I think it’s an optical illusion from my hair getting shorter and shorter.

NSFW (Non-Scale Failwhale)

Ate the aforementioned Little Debbies on one tired Sunday afternoon, even after scanning them and seeing that they were 16 SmartPoints for a pack of two.

Failed to resist the Monday mac-and-cheese special on the 6th floor the week after successfully passing it by. (And the week after that.)

So, what’s my plan for February? My plan is to plan. I need to pick a time to sit down and figure out what my meals will be for the following week, then stick to that plan and not deviate from it. I can and will build in flexibility when warranted — my department at work goes out to lunch on Wednesdays, and my family goes out to eat two or three times during the weekend — but I need some structure beyond what I have going on right now.

If I only lose half a pound a week, I’ll be at my Goal Weight by summer. I can so do this. Now I just need to do it already, and not get in the way of my own success.