Thursday, November 12, 2009

The only times that my extended family get together are funerals, weddings, and (the subject of this particular posting) Thanksgiving. So once a year, I torture The Hubby and make him head to my hometown to visit with my family. It normally consists my dad's side of the family gathering at the grandparents' house for a Thanksgiving lunch. We stuff ourselves silly with turkey and us grandchildren fight for a piece of our grandma's blackberry pie. (I have since had better blackberry pie but tradition is tradition. I think she likes us vying for a piece for she always makes sure that there is a blackberry pie... just one to facilitate the fight.)

Over the past few recent years, the lunch has changed slightly. It was still held at the grandparents; that part did not change. The first year of change is that we ate on paper plates... less clean up... the year after that, my aunt (dad's sister) did the main part of cooking while everyone else brought a dish... and now this year...

About a month ago, my grandma called to see if it was okay that we met at a local restaurant for a buffet. You see, the size of our family gathering grew a good bit now that my brother has moved back with his family. No one's house can accommodate the number of people.... (roughly 20 people). It seemed that she was looking for my okay. I can understand the amount of work and chaos with that many people... and frankly, I can kind of heard the slight pleading in her voice. After all, we are going there to visit with everyone so what if the location is different.

Well, now that has changed too... as of my last phone call home, the lunch is not going to happen. Apparently, it was a little bit more expensive (about $3 more per person plus drinks, tip & tax) than originally thought. Grandma and my Aunt decided that it will be a bit too much for everyone to pay that. So now what?

Everyone fends for themselves for lunch and meet up at the grandparents house for dessert. :( As the phone conversation continued, I realized that a set time was not picked. I can totally seeing everyone dropping in at different times throughout the afternoon and no one getting to see anyone. So, I made Grandma pick a time for everyone to meet up at the house for dessert.

This whole scenario bothers me... This is not the Thanksgiving that I grew up with... nor is it the Thanksgiving that I wanted the Little One to grow up with. Unfortunately, The Hubby and I are the ones that live the furthest away (3 1/2 hours away). We would totally host Thanksgiving if we knew that the family would all travel here... but we know for a fact that they will not. Due to work schedules, we are not able to take off more time so that we could prepare the Thanksgiving feast there. Plus, that would not take care of the problem of not having a large enough location. We also do not have the funds to pay for everyone to eat at the restaurant.

So, I really do not see anything that we can do. I certainly do not want to stay home and miss even the small opportunity to see the whole family together (especially for the Little One). So, The Hubby, Little One, and myself will need to fend for ourselves with some hometown restaurant... and head to Thanksgiving dessert at the grandparents.

The only question that remains is.... do we still "fight" over the blackberry pie?

Friday, November 6, 2009

Yup... that's me. Dusting the dirt off my butt. I fell off the WL wagon about 2 weeks ago... and I fell hard. I've been eating up a storm (and to be completely honest... I've been drinking too.)

I'm not sure what happened. It seemed that my little devil took over my body and meal decisions. I ate everything and it didn't matter how many points were involved... candy, cupcakes, cake, italian food, mexican food, etc. Not to mention, the wine that was consumed during the annual wine tasting trip.

About mid-point of this eating "streak" was also my birthday... So bring on the birthday cake! Oh! And the delicious (but way more food than 5 1/2 people can eat) buffet that my husband cooked for my mini-party!

Needless to say, my weigh in for Weight Watchers this past Wednesday was not pretty. Heck! It was the "dog licking his own butt" kind of not pretty. Again, with the honesty, I must admit that a small (very small) part of me was rather impressed on how much weight I was able to gain in 2 weeks. It is completely not fair how easy it is to put on the weight than to take it off. It should be at least a 1:1 ratio. Just sayin'!

I think I was kind of trying to bury myself by eating... rather than deal with the fact that I was turning 35. It didn't help matters that I had to get bloodwork as well as a mammogram examination the day prior to my birthday.

I guess I am a little bit frustrated for the Hubby and I haven't quite got our family back to the way it was prior to his job loss. Plus, 35 is the age that women have the higher potential of experiencing medical problems... especially during pregnancy/child birth.

Alas, I survived my birthday. I am officially 35 years old. I gave myself a good swift kick in the ass and hopped back on the wagon. Life moves on and so shall I.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Don’t let a black cat cross in front of youDon’t walk under a ladderBreak a mirror and you are plagued with 7 years of bad luck

The Hubby once said that baseball players are some of the most superstitious athletes out there. I do not doubt this fact. With just a quick Google search, I found several superstitions that ball players follow such as do not step on the foul line when entering the field in fear that it will hurt their game that evening.

Do you have any?

Personally, I didn’t think I had any. However, I sit here at my work desk… trying to think of anything other than the work that is piled on my desk… I discover that I do have some performance superstitions like baseball players. I do certain things during the day of my WW weigh-in in hopes of not jinxing the scale.

• I make sure that I drink my first 16 oz of water before noon. That way, I can make sure that I am finished with my second 16 oz by 3 pm at the latest.• Apparently, I often wear the same work outfit to get weighed in. (Don’t worry... it’s always (or mostly) clean.) It just seems that I grab that particular outfit in the rotation. (This is also a good sign that I need more clothes.)• I do my best to make sure that soup is the major part of my lunch for that day.

Crazy, huh? Perhaps…

Will I change now that I realize my behaviors? Maybe … I guess that depends if it is working. :)

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

I feel like I owe you (my readers) as well as the people around me an apology. It seems that I’ve been possessed by a parasite of some sort. A parasite that just sucks all indications of motivation from my life … no matter how miniscule it may be.

It’s an overall type of state that I am experiencing. A state that I simply do not like being a part of. It has affected my hobbies, my weight loss journey, my work, and everything in between. No, I don’t think I am depressed. I do still feel joy, etc.

As I am typing this, perhaps it is the overwhelming projects / goals that I am working on that is finally taken its toll on me.

Money – The Hubby and I are still living paycheck to paycheck with some luck thrown in as well. Everything that we bring home is put towards the household bills. We only have a few small luxuries that we are trying desperately to hold onto. However, it is proving more difficult as the days / weeks go on. We just hand to pull out of a trip to the Apple Festival in Biglerville, PA. This is an annual trip (a tradition) that we have made for I don’t know how many years. Yet, we are not able to go this year for the money is needed elsewhere. On top of the bill struggle, we have a mountain of debt that we need to take care of that was only exuberated by the unemployment.

Weight loss – I’m afraid that I simply have started going in reverse in this area of my life. Over the last month, I have gained weight. (Can someone please tell me why weight gain can’t go at the same pace as losing weight?) Why? I can’t seem to keep myself motivated in following the WW guidelines. Most likely it is stress eating but that is no excuse. I’ve been working on this part of my life with WW for a number of years. You would think that it would be more of habit than a hindrance. However, it seems that my food desires/cravings overrule my thoughts.

Work – My employers are in the process of switching over to a new system to run our day to day duties with our customers. I’m in the process of switching over the accounting portion of the business to this new program. Frankly, I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel. Not only that but I also feel a bit alone in this pursuit because I’m the only person in the accounting department. Don’t get me wrong… the management tries to help but it doesn’t seem quite enough.

This post is whinier than I had planned it to be. I just wanted you to know where I stand right now in my life. I do have a plan to get out of this “funk”. I am setting myself small goals each day to accomplish. I am hoping that completing these small goals will help jump start the rest of my life. After all, October is supposed to be a happy month for me with our wedding anniversary and my birthday coming up.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Friday, September 4, 2009

Normally, I just casually read the Hubby's blog (http://genwar.blogspot.com/).. for the most part I just chuckle about what he writes or dismiss it with a roll of my eyes. I've known him for a long time (over 16 years). There is not much he can say that would completely shock me now-a-days.

Such was the case of today's post on his blog. He created his "list of 5". It's posts like this that I normally flip to the next screen with a roll of my eyes. However, it got me thinking of who would be my list of 5. What better way to spend the next few minutes??

This is what I've come up with. (I reserve the right to alter the list as I see fit in the future. :) ) Now, these are listed in no particular order...

1. Gerald Butler - Yes, I know that the Hubby doesn't see my attraction to this particular actor. Frankly, he is a very gorgeous man (hello!?! Did ya see his abs in 300?) with a scottish brogue. Need I say more? I think not!

2. Matthew McConaughey - I've a crush on this man since I seen him in "A Time to Kill". Despite his good looks, I love his laid back type of attitude and look on life.

3. Will Smith - Now, this is a man that appears to have the great sense of humor and sense of family to mesh with his good looks. It was quite remarkable to see how he became the man he is today.

4. John Cusack - "I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!" - *chuckles* Sorry, I couldn't help it. John has been a crush of mine since the 80s. I don't think I can explain why I find him so attractive... is it his quirkiness?

And last but not least...

5. Johnny Depp - I like the confidence that he puts in himself and the work that he does. I always look forward to watching his roles as they unfold on the screen. I hope to see many more to come.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

That’s right! You heard me! As of my weigh-in last night, I met my 5 lb loss goal. Not too bad, if I don’t say so myself. I just might be comfortable in that bridesmaid dress after all!

So, I am setting myself another 5 lb loss goal. It is going to be quite difficult I believe. All of my weekends from now until Columbus Day weekend have some event or travel planned. It ranges from a dinner at a friend’s house to Girls Only / Bachelorette Weekend to camping with my dad and his girlfriend. It’s pure craziness!

I’m not sure how my schedule got so packed! Each weekend is going to present all sorts of food challenges for me. At least, I will also be having lots of fun to with family and friends.

Monday, August 10, 2009

I have decided that I particularly do not like this children’s book. I will be putting it back on the shelf. I don’t like how the theme is that basically you can try to run away but I will follow you wherever you go so it’s rather pointless to run away. Not that you are happy to stay with your mom… but that there is no hope of escaping so suck it up. Yeah, I don’t think I rather care for that message. Back the book goes.

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Summer? Is it here finally?

What a crazy, wet, mild summer we are having. On one hand, it doesn’t really make me regret the financial decision of keeping the pool close this year… On the other hand, will I truly appreciate my most beloved season, Fall, without a scorching summer to prep me?

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Can't lose focus!

Okay, so I finally went in for my first fitting for the bridesmaid dress. Not a lot of work needed to be done... woot! The zipper needed to be replaced and the dress need to be let out a little bit (1/2 inch). Not bad, I must say. Now, if only I can keep focus on the weight loss! So difficult to do with all the yummy BBQ food that is out there. Will power? Where are you!? Come back here!

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The Little One

Nope, she is not walking yet. However, she gets around quite handily by either crawling or "walking" on her knees. The Hubby and I think it will be soon though. She is handling herself quite well with the walking when you hold her hands or she is pushing a toy. Let's hope that the babyproofing will stand a chance when she discovers this new form of transportation. In the meantime, we will just entertain ourselves by watching her point out her nose, mouth, and belly. Wow... are all parents this easily entertained?

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

I must admit that I got sucked into the mania… I had to know what all this hub-dub was about with the Twilight series.

I am a little bit behind the times for I did see the movie before reading the books. I thought the movie was okay so I ventured onto the books for 9 times out of 10… the books are always better! I was curious about why everyone loves these books and had to check it out for myself. After all, I wasn’t led wrong with reading the Harry Potter series.

First thing first… it is a fast read. I am not the quickest of readers. It takes me a little bit to comprehend what I am reading so I tend to read slowly. Of course, I am comparing myself to the Hubby who reads at insane speeds. (This skill comes in handy with the trivia game at Dave & Buster’s. I’ve a huge purple teddy bear for proof.) I was able to get through all 4 books in a matter of 3 weeks. This is practically unheard of for me since my “extra” time is very much limited thanks to the Little One.

Now, if you haven’t read the books… do not go past this point for I don’t want to ruin anything for you. I hate stumbling across things on the internet that does not forewarn their readers of possible spoil alerts.

I must say that I am a bit disappointed with the books. I think Stephanie Meyer has a great base for the storyline. However, I feel a bit cheated in her writing for she doesn’t go to that next step.

In my opinion, she gets to the major scene or scenario when 2/3 of the book is done and quickly finishes it off haphazardly to end the book. The best example (and most fresh in my mind) is the end of the 4th book. The big bad Volturi gathers up all their people and then some to go to Washington State to confront the good guys (the Cullens & co)… just to turn around and run with their tales between their legs? They have been in power for over hundreds and hundreds of years. You would think that they would have had the wisdom (or whatever) to scout out ahead of time to see if it was true that Nessie was an immortal child or not. Don’t get me wrong… I know that it was just an excuse for them to acquisition more powerful vamps for their coven… but they looked pretty damn foolish to not do a little more prep work. They really should have a pretty good back-up reason to confront the Cullens. The whole scenario was quite pitiful and lacking and wasn’t worth the built up the author gave to the Votluri throughout the series.

Anyways, I won’t go into more thoughts about the books. Overall, I did enjoy the books. I would not have invested my limited time to reading them if I did not. I just felt it could have been fleshed out a little better. There is so much potential there.

(On a side note, I do think they made a good decision with casting Dakota Fanning as Jane. )

Friday, July 17, 2009

A morning for the books…

Normally, The Little One is stubborn about at least one thing each morning… whether it is that she doesn’t want to wake up, drink her milk, or be dropped off at daycare. This morning, she was very cooperative and happy. She woke up and started playing “peek-a-boo” with me by hiding her face behind the crib railing. She drank all of her milk and ate her grapes. There was even no whining about getting into the car seat. And the mother of all tests? She didn’t cry when The Hubby and I dropped her off at daycare and left the room. Today is definitely going to be a good day.

Pass the keys please!

It’s been a little over two weeks since The Hubby and I downsized to one vehicle. It certainly has been interesting. We’ve had two vehicles for at least a decade if not more. Now, we are currently sharing a 97 Mercury Tracer. This car has been enjoying a pretty long and happy life in my hands. *knocks on wood* Hopefully, it will be able to survive the dual drivers. I’m sure that he will agree with me… but The Hubby is not gentle with his vehicles. In all honesty, I hope we survive this “test” too. We are vastly different drivers and we are both “back seat” drivers. It certainly makes for interesting car rides!

North Myrtle Beach, Here we come!

During the last weekend of August, a few of us are venturing off to North Myrtle Beach for a relaxing, All Girls / Bachelorette weekend. Can’t wait! I can taste the frozen daiquiris now as I daydream of lying out on the beach. Don’t worry, North Myrtle Beach, I’m sure that we will try to be somewhat gentle with you. I’m sure that the leftover carnage will heal itself once we leave.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Monday, July 6, 2009

Weight-loss JourneyYou may remember a while back. I had set a 5 lb weight loss goal after meeting my 10% goal with Weight Watchers. It’s amazing the tug-a-war that one goes through with wanting to lose weight and wanting to eat a piece of rum cake, for example. Needless to say, despite my food demons, I was able to hit that 5 lb weight loss a couple of weeks ago. It’s a good thing too! I’ve a bridesmaid dress that I need to squeeze into! I’ve been too busy basking in my pre-pregnancy wardrobe glory to write a blog entry about the accomplishment. Please forgive me! It took way longer than I like. Overall, I still have another 25 lbs that I want to get rid of. However, that still seems a bit much for me to keep my focus on. So, in efforts to keeping it more manageable… I set another 5 lb weight loss goal for myself. Here’s to the next 5!

4th of July renewedAs the years went on, the holiday seemed to just become another ol’ day in my life... just good excuse for a 3 day weekend. Mother Nature decided to let off on the rain and brought us a gorgeous weather weekend. The Hubby, Little One, and I enjoyed a small BBQ with friends before heading out to the Single A baseball game. Nothing like a good ol’ baseball game on the 4th to brighten one’s patriotic spirit. Unfortunately, our home team lost in the 10th inning but that didn’t seem to damper the good times. After the game, we were treated to fireworks. That’s what did it for me. Watching the Little One enjoying the fireworks… it was just simply amazing. It still brings a smile to my face. It made me start reminiscing about watching fireworks in the past as a kid. I can’t wait to experience future 4th of Julys with the Little One.

HobbiesI appear to have a bit of a split personality lately with my hobbies. It seems that I am trying to stuff as many activities during my very limited time for such self indulgences. I’m still working on the cross stitching that I posted a while ago…. I am currently reading “Fool” by Christopher Moore… and I’ve been playing “The Sims 3” on the computer. Oh! And The Hubby and I are watching the past seasons of “Burn Notice” too. So much stuff… so little time.

Money woesWe are still trudging a long as The Hubby wades through the swamp of unemployment. It’s looking brighter though since he has had some pretty good interviews lately. Hopefully, this whole mess will soon be behind us. In the meantime, it appears that we are both mentally making “lists” of what to do when we have extra money again. It ranges from having the ability to order food delivery to getting a hair cut by a professional to various trips such as Vegas, Italy, etc. . Don’t worry! We are not forgetting the harsh lessons that we have learned. We are going to be smarter about things for the future and hopefully will not be caught off guard again!

Monday, June 15, 2009

This past Friday, I had my yearly female check-up. Like most women, I dreaded going to this appointment. Alas, it is something that we all must/should go through at least once a year to make sure that we are healthy.

The appointment started off like the usual. Weight Check (I was a bit annoyed with this for the nurse did it so fast so it wasn’t accurate. I guess I am just extra sensitive since I am trying to lose this extra weight.), Blood pressure (A bit low but no need to be concerned), and the general medical inquiries.

I was caught a bit of off guard when the nurse asked me “Do you feel safe at home?”. I answered the question with a truthful yes. The nurse finished the initial check-up steps. The doctor came in and asked a similar question during his routine questions and proceeded with the physical. As the appointment concluded, I couldn’t shake the fact that they asked that question.

I wasn’t offended by it. That’s not the case at all. I found it a bit scary / depressing. To think it may be the only time or chance that an abused wife may had to get the help that she so desperately needs. I wonder if they (doctors in general) had asked my mom that same question 30 years ago would my life be different now.

Luckily for me, my mom did build up the courage to remove her and us kids from that abusive environment. She also had the courage not to return to my father despite the struggle of living alone. Even when the courts awarded custody to my father, she was always there for us. I never did get a chance to ask her what finally gave her the courage to do so. I’m just glad that she did. I am also glad that my dad wised up and realized what he was losing in all of this and kept his anger in check for the many years afterwards.

So, ask yourself “do you feel safe at home?” If you don’t, please… please… seek help. To the rest of you, do not get annoyed when you are asked randomly by the nurse or doctor that question. It could perhaps save a life one day.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Thursday, June 4, 2009

The Little One has been going through this a lot lately. From what I’ve read and told, it is normal for her to experience separation anxiety during this period of her young life. I understand that… in my mind.

In my mind, I know that she is happy and playing again not even 5 minutes after I walk out that door. However, my heart just breaks to hear her cry when I leave. This morning was especially hard. It’s a gorgeous day out. And, it is going to continue being nice through out the whole day. It’s the kind of day that you want to go outside and play with your kid. When I close my eyes, I can picture us outside. I’m blowing bubbles around the Little One while we are sitting on a blanket at the park. It is already hard to make sure that you are the responsible adult and go to work that day… but add your child’s tears, from you leaving, on top of that? It was almost too much!

I sat there in my car in the daycare parking lot for a few minutes after dropping her off. Those few minutes were filled with this internal debate… should Little One and I play hooky and go to the park? Or go to work? *sighs*

Alas, I decided to go to work. Overall, that was the right choice to make. There will be plenty of days to play with my daughter. Summer is only getting started.

Rest of the day, I’ll just daydream during those brief moments of no work.

I know that it has been awhile since I’ve posted something. I’ve been pretty busy both professionally and personally. Other than little bouts of bitching here and there, I must say that I’ve been doing pretty good overall. I don’t like it when the day drags on so keeping busy is good.

Thanks to the MIL, we were able to go to Augusta, GA over Memorial Day weekend. It was the first time that the Little One flew. I must say that she did pretty well considering she had to sit on my lap the whole time. We tried to play and tucker her out during the layovers... however; the layovers were very short so it didn’t seem to help much. We discovered that we enjoyed the biscotti cookies that Delta offered as a snack. (Or, we were just famished because of the weird meal schedule. Not sure.) You should have seen the three of munching on cookies and getting crumbs everywhere. We only received one “stink eye” while we were traveling. It was our last flight on the return home. The Little One was hot (air-condition didn’t work properly) and very tired. So, she did cry a little at the beginning of the flight. She was out cold before the flight took off so her crying time wasn’t long. However, it was long enough for a nearby male passenger to give us “the look”. *sighs* Oh well. He can suck it.

We all enjoyed our time in Georgia. We got to see the MIL’s new house, attend (or rather ran) TT’s baby shower, and Little One won a $25 gift certificate to Toys R Us! How? We went to Famous Dave’s for dinner on our last night down there. It just happened to be kids’ night at the restaurant. Her name was entered into a drawing. *poof* She won! It was probably a good thing too. It wasn’t the best service at the restaurant that evening. MIL made sure that she bought some lottery tickets after leaving the restaurant in hopes that the Little One’s luck rubbed off. We haven’t heard anything so I am thinking it didn’t. Oh well!

This trip gives me hope that Little One will do well on future trips. If the “Employment Fairy” is generous by giving the Hubby a job, we are hoping to go back down to Augusta for Christmas. I’ll have a new nephew to play with by then!

Again, thanks to a friend’s generosity, we are off to Vermont this weekend for a yearly friend get-together. That’s within driving distance so it shouldn’t be any big thing. We are looking forward to seeing everyone!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Friday, May 22, 2009

You may be feeling a difficult internal conflict, dear Scorpio, based on the fact that you know there are things that you need to be doing and responsibilities that you need to be taking care of, but at the same time, you simply do not want to do them. You would much rather spend your day forgetting about your duties and just having a good time. Whatever you decide to do, commit to doing it, and do not let regret or guilt spoil the picture.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

I haven’t a clue what is going on this week… but it seems like I am forgetting things left and right. I literally came to work on Tuesday to find emails, which I could have sworn I sent on Monday, sitting in my draft folder. Someone gave me a quick call for just as quick of a request. *poof* Out of my head the request goes without being done.

It’s not even just happening at work. It seems to be happening at home too! It is simply one of those weeks were there doesn’t seem to be enough time in the day to get everything accomplished and my mind is overloaded.

We are heading out this weekend to Augusta, GA for some family time with the in-laws. This is the first time the Little One is going on a plane. Have we packed yet? Nope! Why? I can’t seem to get to it. So, this mental list keeps scrolling in my head of stuff to pack… just another thing to have taking up “brain space”. Is it possible to rent extra “brain space” because that would be good time to time? We are looking forward to the extended weekend. It wouldn’t be possible if it wasn’t for the generosity of said in-laws.

So, to those that read this, please accept this general apology. If I have forgotten to do something for you or tell you, please know that I am not up to my normal mental capability and that I am truly sorry for forgetting.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Monday, May 18, 2009

At a previous trip, I had narrowed down choices to two different bridesmaid dresses. However, I couldn’t determine which one that I wanted to wear. Since I had some time, I decided to wait before making the final decision. This past weekend, I dragged Cinnamon with me to the bridal store to help me pick out a bridesmaid dress for an upcoming wedding. I tried on the two dresses that I had picked from the last visit as well as a couple of dresses that Cinnamon wanted to see me in. I ended up picking a dress that was not even in the running last time. In fact, it wasn’t even in the stores. *chuckles* It’s a sleeveless dress no less! Who would have thought it? And the best part about the whole trip?? I WAS TRYING ON DRESS SIZES THAT WERE ONE STEP LOWER THAN THE LAST VISIT. WOOT! *does a little happy dance*

Ever the optimist, I scheduled my first fitting for the end of July in hopes that they will need to make further adjustments to the dress. Now, I just need to work on a tan. Don’t want to blind the wedding attendees when the sun hits my skin during the outdoor wedding. :)

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

I ended last week with several small wardrobe malfunctions. I finally had to declare “Time of Death” to these comfortable black dress shoes. I simply wore them out. It was rather odd since these shoes were the newest addition to my small collection. I also had to continuous deal with a hem that was coming out. Again, I find this odd too since these pants were professionally altered about a month ago. I was quite the fashion plate with paper clips holding the hem in place and scotch tape trying to hold the worn sole to the rest of the shoe. I guess clothes and shoes are not made the same way anymore. Now, the question is: do I repair the hem myself by hand with actual thread /needle? Or do I go back to the place where the alterations were made and demand that they redo it? As for the shoes, I still have a balance left on a gift card. I am hoping that I will be able to get a replacement pair of shoes with that.

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I can get used to this Mother’s Day business. This year is my 2nd Mother’s Day holiday participation as a mom. I got to sleep in while The Hubby got up to take care of the Little One. I woke up around 10 am to the delicious smell of pancakes coming from the tray The Hubby was holding near the bed (and the sound of my daughter crawling on the floor). We had a bit of errands that we had to do since we spent Saturday at a friend’s BBQ and the Tulip Festival. I didn’t mind though. We did stop by a nearby park so that the Little One can get her first taste of a swing. She seemed to really enjoy it! The weather was a bit chilly thanks to the intense wind so this was a very short park trip. Well worth it though! I can’t wait until we can take her to the park on a more regular basis.

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I have tomorrow off from work. Mental Health Day! The Hubby and I are planning to take advantage of our daughter being in daycare to catch up on some movie(s) (if we can find it in the budget to do so). We are both “foaming at the mouth” to see the new Star Trek movie that just hit the theatres this past weekend. Downside? Don’t get to sleep in since someone has to take the Little One to said daycare. The Hubby is going to spend the morning working on job hunting so that the day is not lost. Oh well! Small sacrifice if we can pull it off!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Lately, I’ve been trying to find the old me. It is so darn easy to lose oneself with the stuff that needs to be done with a small child and full time job. I am finding myself with more available time now that The Hubby is home. I am hopping on the treadmill (or walking around the neighborhood) almost every day to help the weight loss. (No, I still haven’t hit that next 5 lb mark that I mentioned in a previous post. Hopefully, I will get there soon.) I am running out of my prepaid WW coupons. I am a bit anxious with the thought that I won’t be going to WW meetings. The meetings really do help if I do find them a bit cheesy or boring at times. They help reset the “week” for me. However, I can’t really seem to be able to justify the money spent on the weekly fee while there are more important bills to pay. I am really hoping that our new health insurance has an option for preventive health steps such as Weight Watchers.

Anyways… back to the topic on hand… Last night, I dug out a cross stitch project that The Hubby bought me ages ago. I haven’t worked on any type of crafts in a long, long time so I’m a bit rusty. Here is a picture of the finished product (minus the frame):

I’m not sure what I am going to do with it once I am done with the project… perhaps give it away as a gift? Or sell it? Will have to ponder that.

The one part, I am having trouble with is keeping the “Inner Nag” on a leash. With everything is going on, I am really trying not to compound it by letting it loose. However, lately, it has been lashing out unexpectedly… mostly when the stress of our financials over runs my thoughts. I just hope that The Hubby realizes that I really am trying. I know that he is not the best of moods lately as anyone who is job searching in today’s market.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Yesterday, The Hubby and I found out that our Little One needs glasses. Not only does she has my hair and eye color, but appears that she also has my bad vision. I found this news to be very heartbreaking. The one wish that I had for our child was for him/her to have the father’s eyesight. I didn’t care about hair, skin color, eye color, sex etc… but I didn’t want him/her to have my eyesight. *sighs*

As we were going through the different frame options (which were very limited since she is only 13 months old), the memories of being called “Four-eyes” and “Coke Bottles” came flooding back. I hated my glasses… the endless teasing from my so-called peers. I hated the fact that I wasn’t allowed to play contact sports whether in gym class or on a school team. My eyes water with just thought of our Little One having to experience any or all of this. The day that I turned 16 and my parents allowed me to get contacts was like the second coming of Christ to my life.

The Hubby tried to cheer me up to say that she will get picked on anyways and that kids are cruel. I know this but only in my mind…not in my heart. I can almost imagine the future comforting conversations with her about kids teasing her about her glasses.

Since she has to have glasses (no choice), I was hoping to get the best looking pair for her. As I mentioned above, there is a very limited selection… (not to mention, the very limited store of funds that we are currently experiencing). The one place offered regular frames that we could just picture her tearing off her face and breaking them. Heck, she almost did it to the sample pair. The second place offered plastic frames that are made for babies & kids. We opted to go to the second place. They were a bit more expensive but we believe that it will save us $ in the long run because replacement glasses won’t be needed so frequently. They are not the prettiest of frames though. I really had a hard time accepting them. I mean, I could just get the color black and the Little One will look like imposter Harry Potter. (To see the frames: http://miraflex.info/catalog/basic/miniBaby.htm).

In about a week, the Little One will have a brand new pair of Clear Pink Pearl glasses. May the years of torture and taunting begin! Sorry Little One.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Monday, April 27, 2009

This past weekend was a good weekend around the household. The weather was very warm and sunny. It allowed us to have our first BBQ of the season. Some good friends even came over and helped me tackle the backyard work. It’s amazing how much work a postage sized yard can create! Finally, my irises (sp?) can thrive and enjoy the sunlight without having to weave their stalks around old dead leaves and other debris.

I even managed to be outside for the majority of Saturday and walk away without getting sunburn! That’s almost unheard of for my fair (a.k.a pasty white) skin! Kudos to Coppertone sunblock!

This was a pretty big weekend for the Little One too. She got to enjoy the BBQ as well as had her first taste of delicious soft served ice cream and a ride on the Merry-Go-Round on Saturday. Unfortunately, she does have a small scrap on her little nose from an incident involving a TV dinner stand. However, she is quite the trooper and didn’t let that little run-in ruin the rest of her weekend.

We did have one casualty this weekend. “Cinnamon” tackled a bush in the backyard with a pair of trimmers. Needless to say, the bush didn’t stand a chance… and now doesn’t stand at all. I made a note to myself to direct Cinnamon clipper happy self to better targets. Our backyard is in a major need of a makeover. I’m sure that I can harness this particular persona of our dear friend to our advantage in the future!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Monday, April 20, 2009

This past weekend was the first weekend in a long time that it was just the three of us the whole time. Looking back in hindsight, I think I subconsciously made sure that it was. I turned down a friend’s dinner invite… didn’t call back another friend’s phone call.

The only time that any one of us left the house was on Saturday when The Hubby went grocery shopping. I stayed home and watched Little One. I think we needed it. Correction… I know that I needed it. We don’t know what life is going to throw our way in the coming days, weeks… hell… months. This seems like it was the last weekend before things become reality.

I know that The Hubby doesn’t technically lose his job until the end of the month. However, I think this coming weekend is going to be when “what ifs” are going to start crashing in hard and becoming more of a reality.

Friday, April 17, 2009

It is a weird feeling that I’ve been experiencing. It is like I am waiting for the impending doom to hit my life… my family. I do not like it in the least.

The Hubby and I have taken (or in the process of taking) steps to put our survival plan into place while he waits to hear from potential employers. Now, we wait for the pieces to fall into place as his last day approaches. I consider myself a rather patient person… but this wait is awful.

Will our plan work? Will The Hubby find a job that he likes but also pays the bills? Shall I pick up a second job just in case? I know that he will find a job. However, can we survive on our plan until he does? All these questions/thoughts are running through my mind. I can just imagine the thoughts that are running through his mind. I guess I am thankful that the Little One is too small to comprehend what is happening around her.

There is one positive thing in all of this… our friends and family. It’s amazing how supportive they have been to us since hearing this news. It is a wonderful feeling to know that we have surrounded ourselves with these kind, understanding and generous people. How can the Little One not grow up to be a wonderful woman with this kind of support structure?

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Monday, April 13, 2009

Now, with the Little One, we hardly get to go out. We decided to continue to take advantage of the MIL being in town and go out despite the bad news that we received this past week. The Hubby and I met up with some friends at a local bar this past Saturday night for a little bit of karaoke. The Hubby is a big fan of getting up there and sing. I may sing one or two songs depending on my self confidence that evening (or also how much liquid courage I’ve partaken).

Being a holiday weekend, the crowd was a little different than what we are used to. The Hubby and I drank perhaps a little too much thanks to our friends’ generosity. (I mean, I tried an Irish car bomb for the first time. It wasn’t bad… just don’t see what all the hype was all about). Good time was had by all, I believe.

Now, despite my slightly impaired state, I realized that the talent level of this particular evening was higher than normal. Some of them were right down pretty good. That sucked. Why? I believe that good singers cause an atmosphere that will prohibit the less timid from getting their butts up on stage to sing a song. I find that a little bit sad. Don’t get me wrong. I really don’t relish having to hear someone that sounds like a cat screeching. However, if anything, that helps encourages people to get up on stage because they think to themselves … “man, I can’t do worse than that guy”. Also, the good singers tend to pick songs that make them sound good (no matter what the subject matter is) instead of picking songs that will get the party crowd involved. It’s like “Lightning Crashes” by Live versus “Love Shack” by B52s. See the difference? Both good songs… but one is definitely a bit more welcomed by the party/bar crowd.

Don't worry, I did my small part in keeping the talent level in check… I suspect that I will hear from The Bangles about how awesome “Cinnamon” and I sounded at the mic for “Walk like an Egyptian”. It’s just a matter of time, I’m sure.

Friday, April 10, 2009

This has been quite a week... unfortunately, it has not been in a good way. Unfortunately, earlier this week, The Hubby found out that he will be losing his job. This has definitely shaken the foundations of our lives for he is the primary provider for our little family.

I will not get into the details of the reasons for the departure. Frankly, it gets my blood boiling and I'm trying to keep a calm, confident, & supporting persona. Kudos to me.

Lately, we don't have much "fluff" in our lives. However, we will need to make some drastic reductions in our lives. It is going to be quite a major adjustment... nah.. that statement doesn't even come close to portraying the magnitude of change we are currently facing.

Here's to hoping for the future and praying that we do not walk away from this with too many scars.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

It’s absolutely amazing how things can change so dramatically in one day. The “rug” has been whipped out from under our feet with an announcement yesterday. Everything that we have been working for has been put into jeopardy. I don’t think my heart has stopped pounding against my chest since I got the phone call from The Hubby yesterday afternoon. All these thoughts of our responsibilities (bills, house, and our baby girl for examples) keep crossing my mind no matter how hard I try to bury myself into my work today.

I don’t think I’m able to say exactly what has happened yet. I’ll have to fill you in on that at a later time... But please know that we don’t mean to be absent minded these next few days. We have a lot that we need to figure out.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Let me just start off by saying that I am still completely exhausted! However, I think fun was had by all!

As you read from my previous post, I scheduled a much needed hair appointment at a new salon for this past Friday. The hairdresser trimmed off all the dead ends (Believe me… there was a lot) and fixed the existing layers. We kept the length of my hair relatively the same instead of going with a shorter style. She pointed out that there will be a lot more that I can do with styles by keeping it. She gave me some pointers on how to work with the curls so that they are not frizzy. She also gave me some pointers on how to straighten my hair but not have it so pin straight. Overall, I was pleased with my experience. I’ve already put some of the pointers to work. I must admit that I have trouble seeing my hair so curly after trying to hide it for so long. I’ve received some positive feedback from friends and co-workers. So, hopefully, I can keep working on this transition. I think there are some additional changes that I would like to make as far as my hair is concerned. However, I need to work with this new information to see exactly what those future changes will be. Either case, I think the hairdresser that I saw is the person to keep with during this transition. In the meantime, I will continue to “swallow” the guilty feeling of leaving my old hairdresser behind.

The rest of the day on Friday (and certainly well into the evening) was spent on preparations for the Little One’s 1 year birthday party. There were games to set up! Veggies, fruits, and cheese to be sliced! Cookies to be made! Furniture adjustments! I was amazed the amount of work that it required to get a birthday party ready for a 1 year old. *chuckles* I can definitely see why parents often have birthday parties at party locations such as Chuck E. Cheese or Color Me Mine. I must admit that let the details get to me too much on Saturday. I wanted a clear start to the party festivities which was hard to do since a lot of the guests were already at the house since they had to travel long distances to attend. However, I think the party went pretty well. I had games for the adults to make the party more interesting. The Little One just soaked up all the attention and love from the different party guests. The other kids worked on the projects that I had purchased ahead of time between breaks from pulling out all the toys that Little One owns. The Little One did pretty good overall. She was not the extreme cake smasher that I had imagine when confronted with her very own little cake. Perhaps this means that she will be a neat child as she grows up. (Here’s to hoping!) The Hubby did a wonderful job as the chef of the weekend by making delicious and filling meals for our family and guests.

Most of the out-of-town guests started their return journeys on Sunday afternoon. It was absolutely wonderful to see everyone. And to those that read my blog… Thank you very much for making this birthday party a wonderful and memorable milestone for our daughter and our family.

Upcoming? Celebrating the Little One's first Easter with the Hubby and my MIL. Hopefully, good weather will come so we can be outside! The Little One got this adorable bubble making machine that I can't wait to get out and play with her.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Despite what some people may think or feel, I do not like being the “Bad Guy”. I really don’t. However, there comes a time and a place where everyone one has to be.

Unfortunately, last night, it was my time to be. Like many Americans lately, money is way too tight right now. For the last few months, we have been working hard on catching up on our payments and paying off little debts. It is/was a lot of work and sacrifice for each of us.

There is a trip coming up to a place that I never been here in the USA. I love to travel and feel like I don’t get to go on trips hardly at all for various reasons. However, I don’t think we are going to be able to pull off this trip because this lack of extra funds. I know that this may seem minor to some for people are sacrificing more fundamental things such as food or shelter. For us, it is a big deal.

The one sacrifice that I am not willing to make in order to go on this trip? The hard work that The Hubby and I did the last few months to try to catch ourselves up. This trip will definitely set us back to where we were a few months ago. It will sacrifice the small enjoyments around our home such as the pool opening or even put a damper the future trips coming up this summer & fall. This decision kills me. I haven’t had the opportunity to travel in months (and no, I am not counting the trip to Potsdam, NY this past February).

I think the thing that bothers me the most is that I do not have The Hubby’s agreement on this. Don’t get me wrong. He understands where we stand and all. It is a logical decision but it is lack of understanding in his heart that I don’t have. It is that that caused me to feel so awkward this morning. It is that lack of understanding which made me feel like the “Bad Guy” all alone. Right now, instead of “Us” vs. “The World”, it feels like it is me vs. “The World” & The Hubby.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

As of last night, I met my 10% weight loss goal. For those of you who are unfamiliar with WW, your first weight loss goal is to lose 10% of your weight.

This past week, I lost 1 lb which put me past this goal. Woot!

Now, I am the type of person that thrives on meeting goals when it comes to weight loss. So, I find that I stay motivated when I set myself small mini-goals. My next mini-goal? To lose another 5 lbs. I know it doesn't seem much... but as experienced dieters know.. it's not an easy thing to do.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

I’ve decided recently (but subconsciously knew all along) that I have not been happy with my looks. I am approaching on my mid-30s. You would think that after all this time; I would have found a good amount confidence in my looks and how to achieve them. Well, you thought wrong! *sighs*

I have already started tackling one step of this much needed makeover… my weight (see previous post). However, my closet lacks the artillery for this “new me” that I want to present to myself and to my world. That is one small step. It’s just a matter of raising the funds to exchange out the old/big pieces of clothing and replacing them. However, I would need to learn how to dress for my body shape. I don’t particularly have the “balls” to nominate myself for a program such as “What Not to Wear”… but that is something that I need desperately. The clothes step will need to wait until the funds and knowledge is there. (Personal stylist anyone?)

Another big contention for me is my hair. My hair is natural curly. Let’s face it… that doesn’t really lend itself to many choice styles. I’ve always hated my hair… always. I guess the grass is always greener, right? I must admit that it was kind of nice in the 80’s because the curls helped me with the big hair styles of the day. However, because of my hair hatred, I never really learned how to take care of it… or what styles will work for me. Before the Little One came along, I would often use a flat iron to straighten it. Alas, time is not a luxury that I have. I like my sleep time too much. Now, it appears that Little One is getting curly hair too. So, it has become important to me to find the love for my hair. I don’t want her to grow up learning from me that curly hair sucks. Alas, how do I change years of hair-loathing?

I really like my old hairdresser. I’ve been going to him for a couple of years now. However, I feel that he will not take me to this next level. I’ve been letting my hair grow out from the last appointment (Hell, I don’t even remember when my last appointment was!). I must admit that I feel a little guilty moving on to another hairdresser. Between the guilt feeling and general nervousness, I am just now making an appointment at a new place. (Hey! A relationship with a hairdresser is very important to a woman.) My date of fate? April 3rd. The day before family & friends come to town for my daughter’s 1st birthday party. Eeks!

Hopefully, this next step of my makeover will go well and help me gain the courage to continue on my “journey”.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Frankly, I hate to exercise. I can not understand why some people get a “high” from exercising. Perhaps, personally, I just haven’t achieved that particular level of exercising.

When growing up, due to my vision, I was not allowed to play any contact sports. This caused me to focus more on music by participating in concert band, chorus, and marching band during my formative years. I was fairly active by playing outdoors with my best friend and/or my siblings. In college, I became less active (and ate less healthy meals) in my day to day routines. Needless to say, I started packing on the weight.

Since college graduation, I’ve tried several diet fads … such as Atkins. I would have some short term success. However, the long term success always eluded me. Part of that reason: Although I would make extreme decisions of what I ate, I would not balance it out with exercise. Why? I don’t like to exercise.

After going on a familiarity trip to Israel, I decided it was about time to get serious about my weight problem. I didn’t like what I was limited in doing or how I looked in those pictures.

Following a friend’s recommendation, it was at that point that I joined Weight Watchers in the fall of 2005. My starting weight? 236.6 lbs. Explains the picture? Thought so. My goal? 140 lbs. Now for those of you who are not familiar with WW, it is a healthy but slow way to lose weight. It teaches you the basics that you need to know on how to lead a healthy life. When I found out I was pregnant in August 2007, I was less than 20 lbs away from my goal.

That two year weight loss journey was filled with lots of ups and downs. Yet through all of that, I still did not walk away with a love of exercise…. Hell, I didn’t even walk away with a comfortable feeling with exercise.

As you can imagine, I gained some of my weight back while I was pregnant. This past July, I decided to re-activate my membership with Weight Watchers. I started off pretty rocky but been pretty good with my weight loss since the New Years. I am now within 30 lbs of my original goal (give or take a pound or two). I know in my mind that I need to incorporate more activity into my life but how do I let get my heart to follow suit? Please tell me if you know the sure way of doing this.

Today, I went for a walk with two of my co-workers during lunch. It wasn’t a long walk but it was nice to get out there with the sunshine and mild temperatures. I can’t say that this will be a regular thing. I don’t dare put such a goal on it for it would surely fail (like New Year resolutions – which I also gave up making). In the meantime, I am going to have to take small steps incorporating exercise into my life. (No pun intended.) I don’t want this long journey to end once I achieve my goal.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

I just made a decision this morning on how I am going to keep up with my personal finances. I think I am going to switch everything so that I can pay my bills online. (Not automatic withdrawal mind you… let’s not go crazy).

Screw me once… shame on you… Screw me twice… shame on me.

What happened that prompted this decision you ask?

I’ve had now three bill payments (two different mailings) lost on me. I generally pay bills on Monday evenings. I will go through to see what is due the following week and make sure that the payment gets taken care of. For example, last night I took care of bills that are due the week of the 23rd. This process has served me well for a very long time. Last December, I had mailed out a group of bills like normal. As the next round of bills came in, I noticed that two checks of the several payments made did not clear. The companies never received their payments. So, they promptly charged me a late fee, etc. I was a bit annoyed but I could understand that mistakes can happen. I called these two companies and explained what happened. They were nice and waived the late fee charge because I am in good standing and had a history of making payments on time. So, nothing was lost except time on the phone.

Well, it happened again. I mailed out a bunch of payments on February 24th. I came home after work and found one of my payments on the far side of the driveway in a snow bank. I picked it up and looked around my yard as well as my neighbors to make sure there no other miscellaneous outgoing mail hiding. I couldn't figure out how that happened since the mailman pulls right up to my mailbox with this car. I put it back into the mailbox, and went on my way. I received my next round of bills and realized that another payment has not reached its’ destination. It was not even the one that I found on the ground a couple of weeks ago! That one made it and cleared my account as well as the several other ones that I mailed that day. Luckily, it was also not one of the two companies that I had talked to before. I called this particular bill company and explained what happened. I also noticed because of this my interest rate went up an additional 9%. That’s right… 9%. The customer service rep said that they will issue the credit for the late fee and I should see it on the next billing statement. However, I still need to pay the minimum due (which is the missing payment, plus the current payment, plus the late fee, and finance charges) to get my account into good standing. That’s extra money that I simply do not have. Plus, I can’t request for the interest rate to go back down until the payment is received and the account goes back into good standing (despite my long good history that I have with this company).

Needless to say, I am not at least bit happy about this. I did the right thing in paying my bills on time. However, the postal service is proving to be less and less dependable. I can’t afford something like this happening again. Not during these times, where every single penny that I make is going towards bills. I am trying my very best to get our family out of debt. On top of this, they are raising the rates on the stamps once again. Of course, they are… their business is slowing down. They are proving to be less dependable than the online services that are out there.

Well, I’m afraid they have lost one more regular customer. I’ll be switching to online payments for all companies that offer that service.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Normally, we let the Little One sleep to whenever she felt like waking up on the weekends. However, with the parade, I thought it worked out better with feedings/naps/etc. if we stick to her weekday daycare schedule. So I was up bright and early Saturday morning with the Little One. Besides of having to wake up to an alarm clock (which I absolutely hate doing on the weekends), we had a pretty good morning together. Everything seemed to click into place as the day progressed. The Hubby and I were able to take showers and get ready for the parade while she was down for a nap. A friend of ours joined up with us to go to the parade.

Everything perfect, right? Wouldn’t you know it? The Little One passed out within 20 minutes of the parade starting. Out cold despite the toy horns, bagpipes, sirens of the fire trucks, and general crowd noise.

Frankly, I was quite amazed at her ability to sleep through all of that noise. It turns out that she wasn't the only one. The family who was watching the parade next to us was also guarding their stroller as their 1 year old was sleeping.

Friday, March 13, 2009

I can completely understand about hating a job so much that you decide to move on. There is nothing wrong in finding something in life that you like to do. However, I do think it is wrong to quit a job without giving proper notice.

A fellow (now former) employee just quit her job today. Her exit is far from graceful. She sent an email to resign from her job and left for lunch to never return. She didn’t even tell anyone that she was leaving. You know what sucks? She left a pile of work on her desk that must be completed today… no exceptions. Nothing was done. Now, the people in her department had to drop everything to cover this work. Why do this? A person doesn’t have to like their co-workers but should at least respect the work that he/she is responsible for. Your fellow co-workers are counting on you. No notice to me is a very selfish way of departure.

I also do not believe that in today’s market that you should “burn your bridges”. You never know where life is going to lead you. Now, you just completely closed (demolished even) a door that you may have had to turn to in the future.

I really never considered myself to be the type of person that gets into Spring Fever. Don’t get me wrong. Winter is definitely my least favorite of the four seasons. Let’s face it though, I live in New York. Winter is coming whether I want it or not. So, I just normally take the winter hits as they come in stride.

However, this year is different. I am finding myself overly excited (to much of The Hubby’s dismay) about this weekend. So much so, that I was quite upset when I fell and injured my right knee this past Tuesday. I’ve been trying to “baby” my knee so that it will get better faster. I seriously can’t wait to get out there and enjoy the sunshine and mild temperatures (50’s) tomorrow during the St. Patty’s Day parade. I also can’t wait to see Little One’s reaction to the parade (her first one) and her surroundings. I’ve already got it in my head how to plan for the day to make it the optimal time for all of us (such as organizing nap times, etc.). I am also finding myself daydreaming about taking Little One to the playground for the first time on Sunday since the weather is suppose to continue to be nice. And... how I am going to convince The Hubby to come with us. Craziness, right?

I don’t know… perhaps my hormones are out of whack. I literally got misty eye this morning when I was reading a page in the American Baby magazine that was dedicated to soldiers who are currently deployed so that they miss the birth and/or first year of their baby’s life. I’m not a cold-hearted bitch. I think those that know me would also agree with that statement. However, I would not normally be affected so much by reading such a page especially while I am just reading the magazine and eating my breakfast before heading off to work.

I guess it is anyone's guess. Needless to say, I am going to do my best to make the most of this crazy Spring Fever feeling that I am experiencing. Hopefully, also get some great family moment memories in the meantime.

Monday, March 9, 2009

As always, thoughts of my mother come to the forefront around this time of the year. As of yesterday, it has been 13 years since my mom passed away unexpectedly. To say that such a dramatic event had no affect on me would be a complete utter lie. I must admit though that these thoughts tend to be more sad/depressing during the “big moments” of my life. .. such as my college graduation and my wedding.

Little One makes this year a little harder to bear the absence of my mom. She is missing the amazing little achievements that Little One is experiencing and developing during her first year on this planet. My MIL is a terrific lady and I am certainly blessed to have such a wonderful woman in my life. However, you can understand how it just doesn’t quite replace the absence.

I also find that doubts are popping up more this time. Questions such as “Am I going to be able to tell stories to Little One in such a way that she would feel that she knows her late grandmother?” or “Am I going to be a good mom?” are running through my mind lately. The Hubby and I incorporated my mother’s name into Little One’s name so that some small part of her will always be with the baby. It was The Hubby’s idea to which will be a constant reminder of why I love him.

To my mother… I love you and miss you. I hope it is true what they say about our loved ones looking down upon us from time to time. I don’t want you to miss a single moment of our lives.

Friday, March 6, 2009

These are just ongoing stories that I hear/read about in the entertainment world. Please feel free to skip this post.

Hef vs. Girls Next Door – I always kind of thought that it was a business relationship (for the most part) between the “girlfriends” and Hef. I mean, he has to keep up the playboy image after all… right? Now, hearing how the girls have all moved on to other men (all much closer to their age), It almost seem that it was closer to a father / daughter type relationship (perhaps a bit more kinky). It seems that all the girls have sought (and received) blessings from Hef about their current men they are engaged/dating. Doesn’t that seem kind of weird? After all, isn’t Hef the “ex”?

Octomom – Now, I fully agree that she should not have all of those implanted since she was not stable financially (and perhaps mentally). However, I am starting to feel a bit sorry for her and especially for those children. The media coverage on her has been completely insane! There is not a day that she is not a topic. So, in a way, I really don’t blame her in trying to harness this attention and get some good out of it (a.k.a. get help). Admittedly, I think she could be doing a better job of it. However, I see it as her trying to make “lemonade” out of the lemons (media attention) she is receiving. I pray that some day the media will find something else to draw its attention away from her. Perhaps then, she can receive the real help that she and her family needs.

Chris Brown / Rihanna – This is just a sad case all around. I sincerely hope that Rihanna can find the strength to separate her self from this man and this whole situation. I know that it is extremely difficult. I’ve lived this abuse situation first hand with my parents years and years ago. Rihanna is a role model for many girls/women whether she wanted to be or not. I hope that she can be a good role model in this and show the female masses that it is not okay to be treated so. In doing so, perhaps she can encourage her self-image to grow positively.

Madonna – Who cares that she is dating Jesus? Madonna is a cougar. There is no surprise revelation in that statement. So, god blesses her if she has moved on from her failed marriage with Guy. (Isn’t Guy much younger than her too?) I just hope that Guy and Madonna can keep it civil for the kids’ sake.

Michael Jackson – Another tour? Seriously??? I’m sorry but who wants to go? I was a big fan of his back in the day… back before the surgeries, court cases, etc. He is different now. Doesn’t he know that he is now become a butt of a joke?

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

I must admit. I've been pretty reluctant in creating a Facebook account. I mean I already have a MySpace account. So why do I need another place to communicate with my friends? Well, after being mercilessly ridiculed for some time from my friends (yes, the same friends that I want to stay in touch with), I decided to create a Facebook account. Yes, I am a wuss/push-over. It seems that the majority of my friends have moved over to this new site (or at the very least use both).

So, what do I think? To be honest, I am not quite sure. Although, Facebook allows more access to each of your friends and who they are friends with. I feel that MySpace allows you to express yourself more by giving you the ability to design a profile page with pictures, music, etc. to your liking. I'll try to keep an open mind about Facebook for I am still a "newbie".

Who knows... perhaps in the end, it will be my networking tool of choice!

Monday, March 2, 2009

Unlike the norm, I had a rather busy weekend this past weekend. However, overall, I can definitely say that it was a great time.

Hockey games

Every year, a group of us that attended the same college gather to cheer on our hockey team when they come in the area to play the local (but highly rival) college teams. This year was no different. The Hubby and I bundled up Little One to take her to her first college hockey game this past Friday night. (I’ve determined that last year doesn’t count since she was still inside me.) Unfortunately, Little One was not her usual happy go lucky self. I must say that she is definitely a “Two Nap” baby. Daycare must have been hopping on Friday because she only had one (very short) nap. Needless to say, by the end of the game, she was something of the Exorcist. Despite battling her tiredness, The Hubby and I were able to enjoy the game as our team won (4-2 for those that care).

Needless to say, we made sure Little One took two naps on Saturday. There was no way we were going to deal with the monster version for the second game if we could help it. Our efforts paid off!! She was a doll throughout the whole game. Now, if only we made sure our team took two naps for they lost (2-1). It was a good game though so I am not too disappointed. Also, this may mean that our hockey team will be returning this coming weekend for round 1 of the playoffs.

Baby-proofing

It's amazing to watch Little One meet each one of the childhood milestones. However, it has sent The Hubby and I into a mild hurricane to get the house ready for her. This past weekend, we ziptied plexigass to our stairway bannister so Little One couldn't slip through and fall down the basement stairs. I must say that it looks great! It is very sturdy and you can hardly see that there is something even there. It was relatively easy to do which is a good thing for neither of us are pretty handy. I highly recommend doing this if you find yourself in the same scenario.

Dress shopping

As you know from an earlier post, I am an upcoming wedding this fall. On Sunday, the bride and I went dress shopping for a bridal gown. No, we didn't set up an appointment ahead of time. We figured that we would just go in, look around, and have her try on few dresses. We didn't think it would be too busy since it was Sunday. Boy were we wrong! The place was a MAD HOUSE! It was pure craziness! When we first arrived, the bride had to sign up in order to even get a changing room. We immediately saw a beautiful gown on a mannequin. After a few minutes admiring the gown, my bladder decided now was the time to annoy me. I basically had to follow this crazy maze to get to the restrooms. It would have been difficult to find the restroom even in an empty store. Now, imagine wading through this maze while dodging dozens of brides trying on gown after gown with their support people looking on... oh and don't forget the sales clerks flying around like gnats. Next time, I know to make sure to go to the bathroom before heading into the store. My goodness! Luckily, I was able to make it back to the bride with an empty bladder without a scratch on me. Phew!

Obviously, we had to wait a while before we could get a changing room. So, we just delved into the racks and writing down style #'s. I must admit that it didn't take too long to get a room (and a sales clerk of our own). The bride tried on 4 out of the 8 dresses that we found. The one that she loved the most? It was the very first dress we saw. That's right.. the one on the mannequin. It was beautiful on her. While she was looking at herself in the mirror... our sales clerk was hounded by other people about the dress for they wanted to try it on. It has been some time but I don't remember myself being that crazy when I was trying on bridal gowns. We left the store feeling pretty good... and not an single injury to report. Now, I am going to make damn sure that I set up an appointment ahead of time before I head back into that same store for the bridesmaid gown. Lesson learned.

Class Ring

The Hubby was going through some of his stuff from downstairs. Know what he found? My high school class ring! Wow! Didn't that bring back memories! I was even able to wear it. I wonder if class rings will be the "in" thing to do when Little One gets to that age.

Friday, February 27, 2009

I am of the opinion that the details of tablecloths should be a non-stressful decision for a bride & groom to decide for their reception. I mean... it's just tablecloths, right? Don't get me wrong. I completely agree that they should match the theme of the wedding / reception. They are a good way to bring the colors into the room. However, the sales person in charge of the reception hall... should have all the details of what they can / cannot provide. So, when said bride, groom, and bridesmaid (me) spend an hour looking over the various swatches, we won't be surprised to find out that the chosen swatches are not for tablecloths but for overlays! Argh!

I know... I know... It has been quite some time since I've posted something here. I am not naive to think that there are actual people out there reading this. However, I still feel like I owe some kind of an apology. Sorry!!! (Not satisfying? Oh well. :) )

Ironically, I realized that it was around this time two years ago that I started the blog. I had hope to use it as an outlet to my thoughts, etc.. I guess you can say that I couldn't establish the "habit" of writing. Writing, in general, has never been my strong suit. So, you may ask, why am I dusting this blog site off?

I feel kind of inspired by what I read on other blog sites. I can tell by these particular writers that the writing helps them in their day-to-day life. I guess I hope that one day I will also feel that connection through writing.