Butterflies

Happy Monday. If you saw my instagram posts over the last couple of days you would have seen that I talked a little bit about how I was suffering from quite a bad flu. When actually I had acute sinusitis and laryngitis which was even worse because as soon as I get a flare up of my sinuses I don’t do anything. One important thing I talked about was the relationship between emotional and physical health and how they can impact each other. I have recently been feeling quite low and slightly anxious about a lot of the things happening in my life. I am 80% creative, through and through, however the remaining 20% , actually makes up my analytical mind in a desperate chase for the maintenance of organisation. The desperate need for things to come out right.

The latter part of my brain, along with the huge wave of creativity swirling around in my skull can often create the most beautiful projects. These are some my proudest moments. However, when things don't go exactly how I want them to go, it almost feels like a complete disaster. 'Throw the whole drawing out the window', 'Throw the whole skirt out the window' or even 'Throw the whole laptop out the window'. These moments are scattered throughout my day constantly. To the average person, they may identify these thoughts as 'anxiety' however, I have chosen to rename these feelings in hopes of changing the purpose of them.

Having a mother who is somewhat a non-conformist in the most beautiful self-loving way possible, has given me the tools I never knew I needed to survive my own mind. She taught me how my thoughts and each word that slides of the tip of my tongue creates my own future. The way in which I think and treat myself is the way the world will treat me. She taught me how exercises and self-maintenance can contribute massively to your physical health. Its okay not to be okay.

It is so important to feel everything within your chest because bottling those feelings is unhealthy for the mind and body. All of those negative feelings which can drain your whole mood, dim your light and give you that sense of doubt within yourself do not define you. Nor should they have the privilege of bring their irksome names with them.

I now call them Butterflies.

Butterflies which remind me that I am human and its okay to feel emotions towards things you are unsure about.