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Toefl Writing

Hi, guys. This is my first time posting my thread, can you help me correct it. I have to take the Toefl test a
few days later. Thanks a lot.

To make children do well at school, parents should limit the hours that a child spends on watching TV.

For parents, education always is the first priority when it comes to children. An excellent or terrible education can determine the future of children. However, as to whether parents should limit the hours that a child spends on watching TV to make children do well at school, answers vary. Some parents prefer to limit the hours that their children spend on watching TV while others incline to give their children more freedom. For me, I reckon parents should limit the hours that a child spends on watching TV.

Most TV programs are not educational for children. Admittedly, some educational programs can help children develop their own interest. For example, if a child watches a documentary on space exploration. He/she might develop a passion for physic subject. Nevertheless, it doesn't mean that some instructive effects outweigh adverse effects. Firstly, most programs are not educational, such as cartoons, soap operas. These programs are unlikely to benefit children's study. On the contrary, it might cause counterproductive consequences. What's more, some violent programs affect children's behavior in a wrong way. According to a survey, children live in violent surroundings have more chance to commit crimes.

Secondly, watching TV occupies a large amount of children's time, which is supposed to use to study. Admittedly, a small amount of students understand how to control the time spending on TV; they take advantage of free time to relax. They won't let TV programs affect their study. However, it doesn't mean that all of students master this skill. Firstly, it's widely understood that children are unable to control their habit. So they are easily obsessed with TV programs, thus, abandoning study. I have a cousin named Michael. He is at the age of 9 and love cartoons. It's not surprised to find him at midnight watching cartoons in front of the TV. Therefore, he can't focus on study. If his parents limit the hours on watching TV, this phenomenon could be avoided. Secondly, when children are at school, they prefer to spend time discussing cartoons they watch last night instead of studying.

In conclusion, since most TV programs are not educational for children and watching TV occupies a large of amount of children's time. Parents should limit the hours that a child spends on watching TV. Only in this way will children focus themselves on study.