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Here are things you should say every day — to your employees, colleagues, family members, friends, and everyone you care about:

“Here’s what I’m thinking.”

You’re in charge but that doesn’t mean you’re smarter, savvier, or more insightful than everyone else. Back up your statements and decisions. Give reasons. Justify with logic, not with position or authority.

Though taking the time to explain your decisions opens those decisions up to discussion or criticism, it also opens up your decisions to improvement.

I once came up with what I thought was an awesome plan to improve overall productivity by moving a crew to a different shift on an open production line. The inconvenience to the crew was considerable, but the payoff seemed worth it. On paper, it was perfect.

In practice, it wasn’t.

So, a few weeks later, I met with the crew and said, “I know you didn’t think this would work, and you were right. I was wrong. Let’s move you back to your original shift.”

I felt terrible. I felt stupid. I was sure I’d lost any respect they had for me.

It turns out I was wrong about that, too. Later one employee said, “I didn’t really know you, but the fact you were willing to admit you were wrong told me everything I needed to know.”

No one gets enough praise. No one. Pick someone — pick anyone — who does or did something well and say, “Wow, that was great how you…”

And feel free to go back in time. Saying “Earlier, I was thinking about how you handled that employee issue last month…” can make just as positive an impact today as it would have then. (It could even make a bigger impact, because it shows you still remember what happened last month.)

Praise is a gift that costs the giver nothing but is priceless to the recipient. Start praising. The people around you will love you for it — and you’ll like yourself a little better, too.

“You’re welcome.”

Think about a time you gave a gift and the recipient seemed uncomfortable or awkward. Their reaction took away a little of the fun for you, right?

The same thing can happen when you are thanked or complimented or praised. Don’t spoil the moment or the fun for the other person. The spotlight may make you feel uneasy or insecure, but all you have to do is make eye contact and say, “Thank you.” Or make eye contact and say, “You’re welcome. I was glad to do it.”

When you need help, regardless of the type of help you need or the person you need it from, just say, sincerely and humbly, “Can you help me?”

I promise you’ll get help. And in the process you’ll show vulnerability, respect, and a willingness to listen — which, by the way, are all qualities of a great leader.

And are all qualities of a great friend.

“I’m sorry.”

We all make mistakes, so we all have things we need to apologize for: words, actions, omissions, failing to step up, step in, show support…

Say you’re sorry.

But never follow an apology with a disclaimer like, “But I was really mad, because…” or “But I did think you were…” or any statement that in any way places even the smallest amount of blame back on the other person.

Advice is temporary; knowledge is forever. Knowing what to do helps, but knowing how or why to do it means everything.

When you ask to be taught or shown, several things happen: You implicitly show you respect the person giving the advice; you show you trust his or her experience, skill, and insight; and you get to better assess the value of the advice.

Many people see asking for help as a sign of weakness. So, many people hesitate to ask for help.

But everyone needs help.

Don’t just say, “Is there anything I can help you with?” Most people will give you a version of the reflexive “No, I’m just looking” reply to sales clerks and say, “No, I’m all right.”

Be specific. Find something you can help with. Say “I’ve got a few minutes. Can I help you finish that?” Offer in a way that feels collaborative, not patronizing or gratuitous. Model the behavior you want your employees to display.

Then actually roll up your sleeves and help.

“I love you.”

No, not at work, but everywhere you mean it — and every time you feel it.

Nothing.

Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing at all. If you’re upset, frustrated, or angry, stay quiet. You may think venting will make you feel better but it never does.

That’s especially true where your employees are concerned. Results come and go, but feelings are forever. Criticize an employee in a group setting and it will seem like he eventually got over it, but inside, he never will.

Before you speak, spend more time considering how employees will think and feel than you do evaluating whether the decision makes objective sense. You can easily recover from a mistake made because of faulty data or inaccurate projections.

You’ll never recover from the damage you inflict on an employee’s self-esteem.

Like this:

It’s been proven time and time again that the most successful people tend to be early risers. The person you spy out your window going for an early morning jog while you’re still in your pajamas probably knows some secrets to success.

Is there a correlation between early birds and future success? If so, what secrets are morning people discovering before you’ve had your first cup of coffee? Before we dive into early bird behavior, let’s first look at some of the reasons why some people just naturally find it easier to get out of bed with the first morning light:

Why are some people early risers?

Why exactly do some people dread the rising sun, while others welcome it? First of all, our sleep cycles are regulated by circadian clocks, which is an internal mechanism letting you know when to wake and when to tuck in for the night. Modern technology and artificial lighting has played a bit of havoc with the circadian rhythms, which is just one of the reasons you’re often advised to avoid the bright lights of your computer screen directly before bedtime.

If you just can’t seem to drag yourself out of bed in the morning, don’t feel too bad. It’s possible you’re just a natural night owl. Research has discovered about 10 percent of people are early birds, while about 20 percent are night owls. Called a chronotype, it turns out there might be a reason you keep hitting the snooze button every morning.

What’s the link between early mornings and success?

While studies show evening people can often be more creative — and sometimes even smarter — than morning people, there’s one major reason the early bird gets the worm. Why? It might just come down to our modern society. Our working lives just naturally cater to early risers, who are beginning to groove into their day before a night owl’s first cup of coffee has fully kicked in.

The Success Secrets Early Risers Already Know

While about 50 percent of your chronotype is due to genetics, it’s not impossible to change your attitude towards the sunrise. Here are a few reasons to do so:

1. There are less distractions in the morning.

A typical day can get crazy, fast. You have family obligations, friends, your career, your expanding inbox, and a to-do list a mile long. It’s easy for the personal items to fall off your list, like that book you’ve been dying to read, the meditation you want to do, or even the jog you’ve been meaning to take.

These personal items, however, can help you de-stress and carve out some time for yourself. For most people, it’s easier to carve out this personal time in the morning then it is after work. When the rest of the world is quiet it’s easier to find the time and space for some much needed “me” time.

2. Exercise gets your blood pumping.

Exercise has so many health and emotional benefits, yet it can sometimes seem impossible to squeeze into your day. If you start the morning out with some yoga, a run, or even a brisk walk, you’ll be diving into the day refreshed and ready to take on the world. Finding time for exercise in your day can also make you more productive, which means a morning jog might help you get in shape to climb your career ladder.

3. Successful people are already doing it.

Early birds know greeting the day early is the key to success, which is why morning people tend to be so successful. Apple CEO Tim Cook is known for sending emails at 4:30 a.m., while both Richard Branson and Vogue Editor Anna Wintour get up around 5:45 a.m., which is when Wintour plays a round of tennis. Successful people have limited time in their day to accomplish tasks and take personal time, which is why they get an early start.

4. You’ll be more productive.

In 2008, Harvard biologist Christoph Randler discovered morning people were also more proactive. They were more likely than their night owl counterparts to agree with statements like, “I spend time identifying long-range goals for myself.”

Early risers know to keep an eye on the future, and to never stop looking for ways to better themselves and keep their abilities sharpened. A proactive attitude leads to more productivity, since you’re never waiting in the wings for someone to tell you how to tackle a new challenge.

5. You will have time for breakfast.

Everyone says breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but how often do you really have time for a good breakfast? Or any breakfast at all? Early risers have more time in their mornings, which means fewer excuses not to eat a healthy breakfast. A survey from the Harvard School of Public Health recently found skipping out on breakfast may increase coronary heart disease risk, so having the time to schedule in a good breakfast is more important than you might think.

6. You’ll be happier.

Not to knock night owls, but research has actually shown morning people tend to be both happier and healthier. The health component makes a certain amount of sense; as we’ve seen, morning people tend to make time for breakfast, themselves, and exercise.

According to a University of Toronto study, however, morning people also self-report higher levels of happiness. Considering the well-researched link between happiness and work performance, it’s not hard to see why happier early birds often find themselves flying higher than their late-rising counterparts.

Early risers have discovered a few secrets to unlocking success while the rest of us are in bed snoozing. It might be time to change your sleep patterns, stop hitting snooze, and see what greeting the day earlier can do for your career.

Like this:

So you finally mustered the nerve to ask a mentor for a cup of coffee. You’re sweating. You can feel pressure mounting. She strolls through the Starbucks door holding an Americano with two pumps of hazelnut in one hand and years of experience in the other.

Here are 10 questions you can ask her to take the pressure off you and make the most of your meeting:

How do you spend most of your time? Ask this question for one reason only — digging. Does your mentor have children, a favorite charity she supports, or an addiction to a particular Mediterranean cuisine? Most people who ask for advice never take the time to build an authentic connection. Gathering these answers will allow you to follow up with relevant articles, magazine clippings for passion projects, or recipes for your mentor, who will appreciate hearing from you. Givers gain.

What would you do if you were me? Don’t waste your time looking to impress your mentor with how smart you are. Tell them about your specific challenges, and ask for their recommendations.

How can I help you? This is a killer question that catches most mentors off guard. Most mentees are only concerned about what they can take from a mentor. When you communicate that you are genuinely willing to give, you will set yourself miles apart from everyone else. Who doesn’t like a win/win relationship?

Is this where you thought you would end up? This question usually draws out a hearty laugh, as few people shoot from point A to point B. Most experienced professionals take the scenic route in their career. How they got there is usually an interesting tale with mistakes and revelations. Learn from them.

What used to be your biggest weaknesses? This whopper of a question will tell you right away if someone will make a good mentor. A good answer reveals the number one trait of a great mentor — self-awareness. If you feel this question is too intense, try softening it by asking, “What did you learn about yourself in the last six months?”

Who else would you recommend I connect with? This question might be better served for later meetings when there is more trust. It can exponentially expand your network. Sometimes the best source for other mentors is your existing one.

What are you most proud of? Give your mentor a chance to shine. He/she will love you for it.

What professional organizations are you associated with and in what ways? No one becomes a rising star in any industry without going to the right conferences and trade associations. A good mentor can help you filter out the best ones, and if you’re lucky, get you access to coveted “invite only” insider groups.

Anything FORM. Form is an acronym for family, occupation, recreation, and motivation, and it represents four universal rapport-builders. For example, you might find out that you have a location-based connection with your mentor after asking about his family or birthplace. Connection made!

If a specific question comes up, can I follow up with you? This is your Holy Grail question. Have you ever met someone who has mastered the dating scene? You’ll notice they never leave the first date without the promise of a second one — ever. Never leave a mentor meeting without the promise of a future encounter. You are also communicating that you will only reach out with a relevant and specific question. Most people will agree to that. When the time does come up, simply refer back to the email chain. –By Bert Gervais, founder, Success Mentor Education.

Like this:

What is it about self-control that makes it so difficult to rely on? Self-control is a skill we all possess (honest); yet we tend to give ourselves little credit for it. Self-control is so fleeting for most that when Martin Seligman and his colleagues at the University of Pennsylvania surveyed two million people and asked them to rank order their strengths in 24 different skills, self-control ended up in the very bottom slot.

When it comes to self-control, it is so easy to focus on our failures that our successes tend to pale in comparison. And why shouldn’t they? Self-control is an effort that’s intended to help achieve a goal. Failing to control yourself is just that—a failure. If you’re trying to avoid digging into that bag of chips after dinner because you want to lose a few pounds and you succeed Monday and Tuesday nights only to succumb to temptation on Wednesday by eating four servings’ worth of the empty calories, your failure outweighs your success. You’ve taken two steps forward and four steps back.

With this success/failure dichotomy in mind, I give you six strategies for self-control that come straight from new research conducted at Florida State University. Some are obvious, others counter-intuitive, but all will help you eliminate those pesky failures and ensure your efforts to boost your willpower are successful enough to keep you headed in the right direction for achieving your goals.

Self-Control Secret #1 – Meditate

Meditation actually trains your brain to become a self-control machine. Even simple techniques like mindfulness, which involves taking as little as five minutes a day to focus on nothing more than your breathing and your senses, improves your self-awareness and your brain’s ability to resist destructive impulses. Buddhist monks appear calm and in control for a reason.

Self-Control Secret #2 – Eat

File this one in the counter-intuitive category, especially if you’re having trouble controlling your eating. Your brain burns heavily into your stores of glucose when attempting to exert self-control. If your blood sugar is low, you are far more likely to succumb to destructive impulses. Sugary foods spike your sugar levels quickly and leave you drained and vulnerable shortly thereafter. Eating something that provides a slow burn for your body, such as whole grain rice or meat, will give you a longer window of self-control. So, if you’re having trouble keeping yourself out of the company candy bin when you’re hungry, make sure you eat something else if you want to have a fighting chance.

Self-Control Secret #3 – Exercise

Getting your body moving for as little as 10 minutes releases GABA, a neurotransmitter that makes your brain feel soothed and keeps you in control of your impulses. If you’re having trouble resisting the impulse to walk over to the office next door to let somebody have it, just keep on walking. You should have the impulse under control by the time you get back.

Self-Control Secret #4 – Sleep

When you are tired, your brain cells’ ability to absorb glucose is highly diminished. As I explained in Secret #2, your brain’s ability to control impulses is nil without glucose. What’s worse, without enough sleep you are more likely to crave sugary snacks to compensate for low glucose levels. So, if you’re trying to exert self-control over your eating, getting a good night’s sleep—every night—is one of the best moves you can make.

Self-Control Secret #5 – Ride the Wave

Desire has a strong tendency to ebb and flow like the tide. When the impulse you need to control is strong, waiting out this wave of desire is usually enough to keep yourself in control. The rule of thumb here is to wait at least 10 minutes before succumbing to temptation. You’ll often find that the great wave of desire is now little more than a ripple that you have the power to step right over.

Self-Control Secret #6 – Forgive Yourself

A vicious cycle of failing to control oneself followed by feeling intense self-hatred and disgust is common in attempts at self-control. These emotions typically lead to over-indulging in the offending behavior. When you slip up, it is critical that you forgive yourself and move on. Don’t ignore how the mistake makes you feel; just don’t wallow in it. Instead, shift your attention to what you’re going to do to improve yourself in the future.

Putting These Strategies to Work

The important thing to remember is you have to give these strategies the opportunity to work. This means recognizing the moments where you are struggling with self-control and, rather than giving in to impulse, taking a look at the Six Secrets and giving them a go before you give in. –Travis Bradberry, Ph.D.