Resources for Adults

"Be the change you want to see in the world." Mohatma Ghandi

The trauma you might have experienced is not your fault, and your life can be different. This page contains information about sexual assault, child abuse, what services might help you, how you can get help, etc

WHAT IS SEXUAL ASSAULT?

Sexual Assault is a serious crime. It includes any action in which someone is forced, tricked or threatened into sexual acts. For more information, click on this link What is Sexual Assault?

Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Assault

In most incidences of child sexual assault the perpetrator will be known to the child, most commonly being a family member, family friend or trusted community member. The perpetrator will usually use a number of strategies to make the child believe the violence is their fault or that telling will lead to something terrible happening. Read more about Adult Survivors...

The Myths (False Beliefs) and Facts about Sexual Violence

The Book of Lies and Bulls**t
Sexual Assault is surrounded by many beliefs, and most of these beliefs are what we call myths. For example,
That Sexual assault is an uncontrolled act of lust, this is not true. The truth from research shows that most offenders plan their attacks.
There is also a belief that How women dress and behave contributes to their sexual assault. The truth from research is that sexual assault is not caused by the look or behaviour of the victim. Read more about the MYTHS & FACTS...

TRICKS PERPETRATOR’s USE

Sexual assault is an abuse of power and an act of control that is generally forced on
women and children by men. Some offenders think they have the right to treat others in this way, or use a range of excuses to justify their behavior. Some think that those they assault, their partners and children, belong to them so they have a right to abuse them. Others think that what they want is all that matters. While most perpetrators are men, most men are not perpetrators. Unfortunately there are a small group of men who use violence to hurt, humiliate and gain power and control. Read more about the TRICKS PERPETRATOR’s USE

GROOMING

One of the biggest tricks is grooming. Grooming refers to actions deliberately undertaken with the aim of befriending and establishing an emotional connection. “Grooming” is used to describe the way perpetrators of sexual abuse manipulate their victim, the victim’s family or community over time. This can be a very sneaky and slow process. Sometimes it is hard to see when someone is being groomed until after they have been sexually abused because some grooming behaviour looks like “normal” caring behaviour. Read more about GROOMING

INTERNET GROOMING

Sexual grooming [particularly of children] also occurs on the Internet. Some
perpetrators will pose as children online and make arrangements to meet with them in
person. With the number of children using social connection sites such as Facebook and
MSN, it is a problem that parents and workers need to be aware of. Read more about INTERNET GROOMING..

MEN & CHILD SEXUAL ASSAULT

CHILD SEXUAL ASSAULT IS ALWAYS THE FAULT OF THE PERPETRATOR
It is estimated that approximately 1 in 8 eight boys are victims of sexual assault.
Research suggests that 90% of perpetrators are males, 10% are female. Boys are
more likely to be sexually assaulted by a male but women can and do sexually assault
children, both male and female.
The perpetrator is usually someone known to the child. In the case of boys research
suggests it is less likely to be a close family member and more likely to be a friend of
the family or someone in a position of authority over the child. Most perpetrators
identify as heterosexual and many are in a sexual relationship with a woman at the
time of the assault. Read more about MEN & CHILD SEXUAL ASSAULT...

BLAME & SHAME

Child Sexual Assault is never the fault of the child.
Children learn about who they are in the context of their families, but with Child
Sexual Assault the images are a bit blurred. Shame and blame can exist not only in what happened, but in the secrecy surrounding what happened. Sometimes it is easier to blame yourself and think you are bad than it is to admit you were a helpless little child- a person who had no control. Feelings of blame and shame can be magnified depending on how those around you judge or support you. Read more about BLAME & SHAME...

FLASHBACKS

A flashback is a memory that often comes as a sudden and unexpected intrusion. A flashback can feel as real as when the event originally happened and can be just as frightening. Not all flashbacks are visual – sometimes they can be like an ‘instant replay’ of an event, sometimes like a snapshot or recurring image. Flashbacks can also consist of sounds, smells, words or phrase. They are usually accompanied by intense feelings and can be triggered by the time, year, season, smells, a film, a song, words, an event, a movie, pictures, tastes or a sound. Sometimes sex with a partner can trigger flashbacks. read more about FLASHBACKS...

NIGHTMARES

Many survivors relive the abuse in dreams and may also experience dreams which
relate to abuse and violence. Nightmares can be terrifying and some survivors become
afraid to sleep because of the dreams. When we dream of terror we relive the bodily
sensations of the event and sometimes wake up the next day completely drained. Read more about NIGHTMARES...

SELF-HARM

Many survivors hurt themselves in many different ways. This can include cutting,
burning and injuring their bodies deliberately and also ‘accidentally’ hurting themselves.
Some people also include addiction, eating disorders, ‘consensual’ violent or abusive sex
and more ‘acceptable’ behaviours like workaholism or obsessively exercising past the
point of injury in the category of self-harming behaviours.
Some women deliberately harm their breasts or genitals; others harm other parts of
their body. Read more about SELF-HARM...

INCEST

One of the most difficult forms of sexual assault to talk about is incest. Sexual
contact between family members is incest. The perpetrator can be male or female, a
parent, stepparent, aunt or uncle, sibling, or any other family member. Both females
and males can be victims of incest. It can occur in any family. To read more about INCEST visit the ASCA [Adult Surviving Child Abuse] website.

COUNSELLING

Counselling is many things:

it can be a means of helping you experience your feelings without them taking
over

the process can help you learn more about healthy coping skills

it can help you look at dysfunction in your life and perhaps relate it to aspects
of CSA

it is common to sometimes feel worse, and want to stop counselling
though it needs to be remembered “a leaking tap keeps dripping until it is
fixed properly”

CHOOSING A COUNSELLOR

You are seeking someone to support and guide you as you explore feelings which you
may have long ago buried or hidden from. Although you may find it difficult, you have
the right to ‘shop’ around. This means knowing what questions to ask which will guide
your decision. Read more about CHOOSING A COUNSELLOR...