Are you sitting down? Good. You’re not going to believe this, but Justin Bieber acted like an entitled, condescending asshole when the Miami police popped him for a DUI back in January.

I KNOW. Incredible to believe. But he said some offending words to the arresting officers and here they are, per the Associated Press:

The report describes Bieber as initially “agitated and condescending” and using frequent profanity when brought to the police station.

“He then got upset and said, ‘I’m 19 years old. I’m just out having a good time,'” the report quoted him as saying. “What were you doing when you were 19?”

The officer replied that he was not driving around in a Lamborghini at that age.

“Yeah, well, I bet you didn’t have millions of dollars in your bank account either,” Bieber was quoted in reply.

The thing of that quote is, when you’re basically bankrolling your friends (and many adults), and everyone around you has to be a yes guy (or a fall guy), you start to think really, really bad comebacks are hilarious. Because everyone is laughing at your shit, regardless of its hilarity.

I bet Bieber thought he killed that line. I bet he thought his deposition went awesomely. (“Did you hear me ask him if he was Katie Couric? I got him, right, Braun?”) He’s totally irredeemable.

Anyway, the AP reports that Bieber also tried to play his poor performance in the field sobriety test to a hairline fracture in his foot. Because that always works!

The police summary of Bieber’s performance on various sobriety tests following his Jan. 23 arrest shows that the pop singer told officers he had injured his foot skateboarding three months earlier. The officer had noted that Bieber appeared to sway and have leg tremors during one of the tests, and also winced as if in pain.

“He appeared to have great difficulty,” the report noted, adding that the injury never was mentioned or noticed after that test.