I'd love to find a collar for my wife that is very discrete but still part of the lifestyle. She wears a lot of open shirts, we don't wear many sweaters in our part of the world, so it's something that would be on display quite frequently in front of others. Are there some discrete options out there?

For a while I wore a simple leather chocker. Now I wear a string of heamatite beads (or I will when they get back from the jewellers). Before I wore either, I wore a drop necklace, and before that a simple gold cross.

In chronological order, my neckware had to

a) be suitable to be worn at school, i.e. conform to their dress code so I wore a cross which fit under "religious symbol"

b) be suitable to be worn at sixth form college so I wore a drop pendant, and did until I went to uni and got paranoid about it getting lost/stolen

c) be suitable to be worn in front of my parents, kid brother, and work so the string of beads, or simple leather I could go back to the drop pendant, but, having left it at home to keep it safe, the house burned down, and it turned out to be not so safe afterall.

A collar is an idea, the symbol of it can be whatever you choose it to be.

Just so you know... even the Disney Channel has actresses in some of their episodes / movies where they where collars. One show featured a woman with about a 4 inch black leather collar with a large silver D ring attached. S & M gear just does not have that impact now that a lot of people think it does. I for one would be in shock if my um walked through a dook with that on ... but to other people they just dont asociate it the same way. They sometimes see it like those fancy lace ties that go around the neck that is more asociated with victorian era... kind of a rough version of that as aposed to a BDSM connection. So its not really a collar until another Master / Slave sees it.

I would highly recomend the talon collar.. http://www.mr-s-leather.com/MISC280.html, It can be seen on my slave on our profile. Often she gets comments at work on what a lovely necklace it is...(we have added the O ring to it making it look a bit decorative, and a bit more fucntional as it is useful with a leash...)

I've only collared one submissive...my second submissive. We spent a lot of time discussing what would be an appropriate collar for her to wear that would signify that she was mine and yet, be seen just as an important piece of jewelry by her family, friends and co-workers.

At that time out there in the jewelry world, there was a specific type of heavier chain that had serpentine-like links...you could bend it almost like a piece of metal and yet, it would not lose the fluidity of the necklace. We picked a beaten-silver, hook-like apparatus that had an amethyst set within it. We chose the amethyst because it dominated the necklace and it was my stone and my color. We chose the silver chain because it represented my hold on her and the color indicated her specifically. We chose the beaten-silver holder rather than the plain, polished one because it represented the kinkier part of our D/s dynamic.

I was in Seminary, training for promotion in my Order when I first yielded to the House for training. I had a leather collar, trimmed in silver, and with a fairie in the center... it really looked like a collar. However, when I was ministering in the community but not among alternative-lifestyle folks, I had two collars that I wore over the course of my training years. They were both custom-made. The first was a hinged torq, covered in scroll-work, vines, leaves, and roses. I wore that one for two and a half years, before I earned my Chatelaine's collar... made of tiny, snake-like silver scales, and locked at the front with a magnetic bronze lock. Both of them were beautiful pieces of jewelry, and I never had an issue with any of my pastoral-care clients during the 4 years that I wore a collar.

Calla Firestorm

< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 9/3/2008 2:34:45 PM >

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*** Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

You can also have the submissive in question wear the collar around the ankle or wrist. I owned a girl who wore a permanent stainless steel chain with an ownership tag attached to her ankle that never came off.

C-D

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Reputation is what other people know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself. Lois McMaster Bujold, "A Civil Campaign", 1999

I have a silver bangle which Sir has just given to me this past weekend. It will be engraved inside with my slave number and Sirs name eventually. I then have a lovely (and no laughing in the back row at the fluffiness of this) a pink diamante dog collar which i wear for play and sometimes away from work. I do get some strange looks in this though especially in posh hotels.

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What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

I wear a street version of defense forces dog tags, with the signature I have here engraved on them. No one even bats an eyelid that I wear them (because it is so common to see them). I can easily fit them under a shirt if with people who can read them and can't/won't/don't want to understand. Most of the time, the only indication I am wearing them is the soft jingle they make as I walk.

Brighton also has some very beautiful necklaces that could easily be used as a collar. They have an online catalog you can review. You can get them in their stores or Ebay has a lot of them if you want to buy online.

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"Surrender yourself humbly; then you can be trusted to care for all things." Tao Te Ching, Chapter 13

I would also like to suggest going to Chaotic Creations which is at http://www.bondagecollars.com/ I currently have the screw down one, which is awesome by the way, in the 8 mm thickness. Custom made so it will take awhile to get it. The owner is very nice and and the collar is absolutely gorgeous!

Check out the James Avery necklaces. They are similar to Tiffany's, but cheaper... better made... and the story of the owner is fantastic. They are a Texas company but you can order anywhere. I have a James Avery with my Master's initial on it (instead of the Tiffany heart). I get compliments on it regularly. He gave it to me in front of his family on Christmas day. I cried so hard :) They had no clue, but it was special that they were there to see my "official collaring"

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Respectfully,

julz

"Until they become conscious, they will never rebel, and until they have rebelled they cannot become conscious." 1984 by George Orwell