British Eurovision song choice to go back to public vote

It is definitely true that the selection process for the British entry to the Eurovision Song Contest has been lacking somewhat in recent years. But there’s a plan to turn it all around. I’m not sure it’s a good plan, but that’s just the way with plans, isn’t it? Anyway, it’s all going back to a public vote.

You can see why the BBC might think a public vote is a good thing. After all, the Great British public selected our last winner, Katrina And The Waves’ ‘Love Shine A Light’, in 1997. But then the last time they were allowed to select the song, in 2008, they went for ‘Even If’ by Andy Abraham, which went on to come last. The year before that they chose ‘Flying The Flag (For You)’ by Scooch, which came second to last.

Basically what I’m saying is, the public can’t be trusted. They are idiots. Awful, awful idiots who should never be asked for an opinion on anything. Even if they’re given a selection of nothing but A-grade, world-beating songs, they’ll still almost certainly manage to choose something awful that no one realised was there.

And anyway, it seems unlikely that the public will be choosing from such a prime line of new music. Especially if the people doing the behind-the-scenes shortlisting are the same people who have picked such awful songs as British entrants in recent years. What will probably happen is that the public will end up choosing the absolute worst song from a box someone pulled out of a bin.

Graham Norton’s excited though. “I think it really shows that they take the competition seriously and the fact that the public will get the final say on who is sent to represent the UK in Stockholm next year is the icing on the cake!”

Well, that’s fine for him to say, isn’t it? Of course, the return to a public vote means more telly time for Eurovision, so more too for Norton, and therefore more fees for him. So he might be biased. Meanwhile, the rest of us will have to tolerate the inevitable embarrassment all this will result in without payment. Actually, it’ll cost us money through the licence fee. Won’t someone think of the children?

Anyway, Morrissey said he’ll do it. Why haven’t we just asked Morrissey?