A French, a German, a British and an awesome Pakistani

We live in a very modern, well connected world. So those of us blessed with the ability to speak need to show the world the reality, even if we must tear our vocal cords out in the process to be heard. PHOTO: FILE

“Yeah, of course – not on holidays. But you know, the ones you’re forced to wear in Pakistan.”

Laughing with disbelief, we shook our heads.

“No, we don’t. It’s usually a personal choice.”

“But…” his voice trailed off.

A pause, and then he threw more questions at us.

I spent seven weeks this summer interning overseas. There I was asked these questions, surprisingly by an Indian, a fellow ‘desi’ living only a border apart. Here he was, asking eagerly about how it was to live in a rocky, gun-strewn desert. He was pretty shocked to learn that we have Wi-Fi.

There are moments when you sit behind a screen and shake your head at the misconceptions people living abroad hold of you. And then you change the channel or close a tab and poof – it’s gone.

But it hit me like a slap across the face when I explained to nationality after nationality that no, no one I personally knew had been forcefully married off at the age of 10. And no, I could go to university and yes, I could talk to boys. There are societal pressures, of course, and a cultural tradition of child marriages, but no, not all of us carry bombs in our pockets and our children in our arms by the age of 12.

I remember my parents telling me from a very young age that as long as I conducted myself decently and broke no one’s trust, I could have whichever freedom I choose. Maybe I was one of the lucky ones, but I’ve always lived my life proudly as a 21st century Pakistani girl. I can vote for the leader I choose, I can drive a car, I can read and speak English, and I definitely did not get married off in my teens.

We live in a very modern, well connected world. So those of us blessed with the ability to speak need to show the world the reality, even if we must tear our vocal cords out in the process to be heard. How often can misunderstood nations rise up and point out that, yes, we have our problems. Yes, we have inflation and serial killing and an unstable civil structure. But look, here’s a girl from the mountains addressing the United Nations on the importance of education. Here’s a rickshaw driver that returned my lost phone yesterday. Here’s my best friend from a completely different sectarian background. Here’s one of the strongest armies in the world defending our borders night and day. Here’s the world’s largest privately owned ambulance service. Here’s myself, talking to you in English.

It was heart-breaking when a German friend stated at first that he’d never come to Pakistan because the entire country is made of sand. How can you not want to hit your head against the wall? But we Googled images of Pakistan for them and spend ages telling them local anecdotes.

“Did someone hire you to Photoshop these?”

We laughed at the astounded expression on a French fellow intern’s face.

We had a British friend remark in the last couple of weeks:

“I see you guys jump from Urdu to English in one sentence and it’s remarkable. I can never do that.”

“Comes from being bilingual,” we reasoned.

One of those rare moments when I felt glad we had our regional languages because we were used to interacting in different dialects.

“Sometimes you speak in different languages, for example we’d switch from Punjabi for a fruit seller, to Urdu for a visit to a bank.”

It was a tiny moment of triumph, augmented when a Mauritian friend excitedly told us:

“I want to come next summer to meet you all. Let me find a job and then I’ll show up at your doorstep!”

It was almost exhilarating to see how warm everyone was as days hurried away. It convinces you of the possibility of peace, interacting with nearly 40 people from all over the world who’re roughly your age, and seeing the world through their eyes and, blessedly, letting them see yours.

Proudest moment of the internship? Convincing a bunch of French, German (the same one, yes), Egyptian and British youth how awesome we are as a nation.

More by this writer

Agree with the author. I once had a chat with an Italian lady during my vacation and at the end of our conversation, she exclaimed “You speak such good English, I didn’t know that people in Pakistan learn English in schools.” The point is that people especially in the West have serious misconceptions about Pakistan because Pakistan is portrayed in a negative light by the media in the Western countries. On the other hand, the Egyptians or Malaysians or other nationals of ‘the East’ do not have such misconceptions about Pakistan.Recommend

Yoyo

Seems like you were “trying” too hard to just prove Pakistan is awesome. Sorry, but if you guys are still interning, you’re probably pretty young so doesnt really matter!Recommend

Sohaib.

I must say really well written, but i am wondering where this internship was, because I have lived in the UAE for 17 years, and here you encounter every kind of nationality yet I never found people like these :/Recommend

This is the best thing to do for our nation at the.moment. I had same kind of moments on my course held in Malaysia. I’m glaad I returned comments with convincing voice as well.Recommend

Almira

Hahaha what a brilliant and well-written piece. Sometimes they are shocked that we have roads.. I wonder what countries won’t have them? Recommend

shivi

Well said girl but there are many flaws your country needs to ractify. First of all you should learn why people are not fond of Pakistan 1 Taliban presence 2 Terrorism 3 lack of education and conservative people 4 Islamic country rather then secular country
whereas your genetic brothers and sisters on other side of border are doing so good not only in their country but also in whole world. Now a good example of your youth leader Bilal Bhutto. see in this era of technology and science people should be encourage for education, enginnering courses , IT technology and so much good things which can help your country but sadly immature Bilal is talking about getting Kashmir from India. sick.. Do you think in real , pakistan need kashmir or need developement. That is why your country is still lacking behind. And yes whenever you will travel abroad or study u will be bombarded with such questions because people think about pakistan are more worst then what they are asking to you.Recommend

Ha ha. It’s easy to convince others when. Chances are they’ll never set foot in your country. Wonder how many Pakistanis r convinced theirs is an awesome country!Recommend

liberal-lubna-fromLahore

Ugh. Another unoriginal blog about Pakistanis boasting about their little efforts of how they are improving the soft image of the country, by interacting with a few fox news washed age fellows and dont even get me with that Indian guy you talk about here. Just because those guys landed a freaking space toy in Mars they are acting as if that kind of stuff doesn’t happen in their own country. Pretty sure he was faking it just to sound above ‘Pakistan’ or simply to woo you. And jeez, can we stop being so image conscious? like why did you even find the need to write a whole blog about this experience? I hope you are not making this up but then teenagers do have a tendency to get carried away.

I live abroad too and dont ever get any of these questions thrown at me. Maybe its just or maybe its because I surround myself with the educated crowd of people who have decency to not just ask these dumb questions like “so wheres your burqa or did u get married at age 10” because they dont want to make themselves look ignorant as well. If they are asking such question, instead of pitying yourself, you really should pity them for being so brainwashed and ignorant. I would not care any less and misconceptions other countries’ citizens have about citizens of my country. If people like playing dumb down and ignorant, that is their choice. And I would definitely not write a blog about it to praise myself how I managed to change these hardcore misconceptions about 3 foreigners have of us.Recommend

observer

What is the point of this column? To show that Pakistan is a liberal, modern, civilized and progressive country? How would the author answer if someone asks why people oppose DNA evidence in rape cases and the requirement to produce four male Muslim men witnesses to prove rape?Recommend

Hasan

You should have let the German know that the largest glacier outside of the two polar regions, calls Pakistan home. That usually gives them something to ponder about! :)Recommend

Mohammad

Thanks for your efforts to break the typical image of Pakistan.
Once I was sitting at Bahrain International Airport in Smoker’s Room when a Black African approached me asking for a light. After few moments he asked me where are you from, I said I am from Pakistan… his face got instant joy and he proudly asked me.. “Kia Haal Hai” (How are you), I was very much surprised seeing an African talking so fluent and clear Urdu.
I was shocked when he said, I am doctor and former medical student from Karachi who travelled east & west of Pakistan using Pakistan Railway and very much fond of Saag & Dhania ki Chatni.Recommend

Palvasha von Hassell

I know, the nonsense in people’s minds in the West just seems to grow with time. I have found either you must be prepared to wage a campaign on a daily basis against this, or develop a very thick skin, or even both! Otherwise you can’t lead a self-respecting life here.Recommend

Shah (Berlin)

Although I have multiple experiences with foreigners but its true a alot of misconceptions are present. I personally find it duty in my German gathering to show wht Pakistan or the muslim world really is, …..well done …:DRecommend

Nope !

I’m not convinced with the Author’s argument esp. regarding the ‘awesomeness’
The article is forcibly optimistic to the point of being unrealistic..like a Sudanese telling me about how awesome,Sudan is & how unique their culture is.Recommend

MeatEater

LOL an Indian guy was asking such questions!

When I was in the states I remember my American friends asking similar questions to my Indian friends, like if they had access to electricity or the internet or if they all had pet cobras and mogooses or wore lungis all day it’s funny when Asians stereotype each other.Recommend

ajeet

And then tell them about who was found hiding near your military headquarters….Recommend

ET, why not go ahead publish my comment or do you just dont like an ‘honest’ opinion of one’s article?Recommend

Taimoor

oh so sad, Indians are burning that a Pakistani wrote something good about her country, and then they wonder why there will never be peace between the two countries.. there will be no peace, if all you do is visit Pakistani websites just to show your hatred for us and our countryRecommend

Wait….are you from Islamabad or Karachi and belong to one of those high elite social class well shielded from the ills of the society ? ….. Kidding……I feel you sister, and feel bad that my fellow Indian asked you such stupid question, it was certainly arrogance more than ignorance.
My Pakistani friends here (in California) did help me set many perspective right, especially the one where I believe that whatever the hawkish media, establishment and the religious fanatics say, we Indian and Pakistanis are very much alike. We both are pretty emotionally charged and we both are pretty emotionally fool.
Love and peace to you dear.Recommend

Observer

“Pakistan because Pakistan is portrayed in a negative light by the media
in the Western countries. On the other hand, the Egyptians or Malaysians
or other nationals of ‘the East’ do not have such misconceptions about
Pakistan.”

Every wondered why this is? Pick some reasons: support to export of terrorism, constant begging, nuclear proliferation, aggression against neighbors, medieval and intolerant teachings and laws, bat treatment of minorities, religious intolerance, a rogue army/intelligence service, killing of shia, christians,ahmadis, Balochis, blasphemy and apostasy death penalty…Recommend

Observer

“I managed to change these hardcore misconceptions about 3 foreigners have of us.”

Are you sure? Most westerners are polite and would want to give you the impression that they accept your explanation. But, privately, they will be guided by facts, analysis and current news.Recommend

Prashant

Osama was not in Abottabad, 9/11 was an inside job and so was 26/11, Ajmal Kasab and the 19 bombers of 9/11 are no evidence.

Which country on this planet believes in the above theory sir and how would you describe a man if not ignorant for having thoughts like these?Recommend

I’m sorry if it appeared as if i was praising myself. The trip was about cultural exchange between 50+ international interns, not including our local hosts. We had misconceptions about other nations as well. Like the article states, it was a way to promote peaceful coexistence irrespective of ethnicity. Thanks for reading :)Recommend

Sidra Zia

More than 3 foreigners :) 50+ people and some of them are definitely visiting.Recommend

Sidra Zia

The article states clearly that some of them are visiting soon :)Recommend

I for one am totally convinced! Pakistan and Pakistanis are awesome for the most part. Don’t tell me you don’t have any problems in your country. Maybe not the same ones, but they still exist.Recommend

Good to know ! (Is it just the Govt.s,army & media that potrays the other as an ‘enemy’ …) Peace to all in India & Pakistan.Recommend

Prashant

“……, and feel bad that my fellow Indian asked you such stupid question, it was certainly arrogance more than ignorance. ”

I see a few Indians on this blog Sid, which Indian you found to be arrogant and ignorant?Recommend

Prashant

“” The point is that people especially in the West have serious misconceptions about Pakistan because Pakistan is portrayed in a negative light by the media in the Western countries. ”

Would you tell me if you have ever found the west to be criticising Pakistan when Pakistan was in your opinion truly at fault or the west in your opinion has always been discriminatory towards Pakistan?

The west does not have misconceptions about just Pakistan but also India and many other countries in the East just like not every person in the east can be considered the most enlightened in their outlook towards west. The Malyasians, Indians, Chinese all were stereotyped in the west but their opinion of these countries if not completely, changed partially in the recent past, it was not because the west decided to be magnanimous towards these countries but the concerned countries have invested time and efforts to ensure it happened. If a person has an opinion of you and you think his opinion matters, it is up to you to ensure his opinion of you changes.Recommend

jin

I did enjoy reading the blog and am sorry if I got carried away. I didn’t intend anything in my comment to be taken as an offence. My comment’s criticism was not drawn at the author, but rather at this constant stereotypical situation that keeps erupting from time to time and it just bugs me how with so much informational access one has to everything, some people in the West (and one Indian) think its so cool to act dumb down and ignorant by ‘pretending’ to be so oblivious and being above and beyond to what the developing and third world countries are going through. I mean, it can only take a google search for them to find out whether English is a spoken language in Pakistan or any other country for that matter but that does not seem to happen. I mean, look at us, we are constantly researching and learning and preparing ourselves for being in different countries. Anyway, I should stop before I get carried away again. Glad you had fun at the exchange! Cheers.Recommend

siesmann

These examples are exceptions.Most people are curious rather than critical of your or any other country’s culture or what they might have heard or read about it.Pakistan has been prominent in the media for many years now,and mostly for the wrong reasons.So misconceptions and stereotyping do happen.Most people are courteous and understanding.Recommend

Critical

One of my colleague’s little girl once asked “Do Indians ride on Elephant to school?”

I said “Yeah,we had 3 Elephants.A big male tusker which my father rides to work.A female Elephant which my mom rides to the market shops.
On my 16th birthday,I got my license and my father presented me a baby Elephant to ride to school.

Now that Elephant has grown up and we sold the Old Tusker as it had EMISSION Problems…”Recommend

Yousaf Haque

When I was in States,Americans were asking Indians how many women did they burn at stake everyday in public,as SateeRecommend

Zee

You must be an indian!!

Export of terrorism, we started to india only after Bangladesh, remember Mukti Bahni and you still continuing in Balochistan!
Begging, What Modi is doing now, asking from China and Japan!!!
Intolerant teaching and laws, we don’t clean our mosques as you guys did if a shadow cast Hindu “read CM” visits Mandir
Bad treatment of Minorities, google and count the numbers of minorities murdered in India compared to Pakistan since 47! You will we surprised. And yet we are so awaken that we don’t have a PM who is responsible for mass murdering of Its minorities.

And pl don’t put the excuse that courts haven’t found Moodi guilty of Gujarat Massacre! We know how this was managed and if this argument needs to be bought than again Pakistani courts freed Hafiz Saeed hence stop crying abt him!

I think it’s enough and ET pl allow the comment without mod as this is well within the limits.Recommend

How is rape connected to trying to portray your country in good light?

So that means your mother America is the worst nation where some parents may end up shooting dead their children, or vice versa. Or maybe a random dude would open fire outside cinema, or in school. Or another random dude would threaten to kill all women in a blatant display on misogyny.

Or of course, a president cheating on his wife in White House.Recommend

I congratulate the author for trying to promote optimism regarding our country with people from other cultures. We can never let go of our national identity, and we should not. We should be proud of where we came from, and promote our culture. Every other country does that. People in France are proud enough to use only French in their communication (well majority of times), people in Britain always harp on their historical significance, people in Japan are proud of their economic and technology influence and footprints…..we should also understand our own identity, our significance in this world, and convey it to others.

I look forward to reading more articles from the author. We need to inject optimism into our writing and communication.Recommend

Efforts are being made to change the opinion and it will take time. It cannot be denied that media does play an important role in shaping the perception about a country and its people. What the country really is and what are the views of its people; can be judged only through people to people contact. It is unfortunate that the positive aspect of my country is not highlighted as much as the neighboring countries highlight theirs but as I have said earlier, efforts are being made in this regard and the situation will hopefully get better with time.Recommend

Aisha

not people actualy Indians , I found Indians Indians every where bashing Pakistan , What a shameRecommend

Aisha

Again indian Bashing Pakistan. I am sick of them seeing every where Why dont you leave Pakistan Alone. and Yes we can convince yes there is false propaganda about us. we all not carry bombs in our pockets but you indians are full of hate ,,Recommend

All indians I have been through four articles on a Pakistnai news Page and all full of indians hate remarks Only “Indians “..Recommend

Aisha

Mr. Prashant , Osama was ally of USA before 9/11 and for them he was living in Pakistan since 90’s and when things change he became enemy and hiding in Pakistan double standards. and then pointing Pakistan for whole terrorism Plots .. the fact is that not a single Pakistani was involved in 9/11 attack but Pakistan suffered most in the world but no any more we r done with terrorism we want peace and rest go to hell.Recommend

Aisha

again an indian bashing Pak. other nationalities move on Pluto or they mind their own business. lolzRecommend

Heh ?

It was not an Indian who refered to your country as an ‘International migraine’,but a westerner. Please get your head out of the sand & stop blaming Indians for your international negative image.Recommend

Heh ?

Sati was outlawed by india long,long ago. In this new century -maybe pakistan should rethink its death-for-blasphemy laws & consider DNA as evidence for rapes .Recommend

Well it’s true for people on the eastern borders we’re pretty much the stereotypical lot in Balochistan. With loads of sand, heat, marauding tribes, and plenty of guns. What they will find shocking though would be the abundant supply of Russian speakers in BalochistanRecommend

Prashant

“I am sick of them seeing every where Why dont you leave Pakistan Alone.”

We are sick too when we see suck indian blood.

“we all not carry bombs in our pockets but you indians are full of hate”

All of you do not carry bombs but when you say 26/11 was Inside job, you say so because if you accepted it was done by people in your country, you would need to take action against them and hence you do not accept it despite overwhelming evidence. So, you may not be carrying bombs but you are justifying their acts.Recommend

Sane

Zee: You are very true. First ever terrorism in this region started by Indian government. Rest are all reactionary. Even now RSS, Bajrang Dal etc. etc. are terrorist outfilts.who support BJP, which is now in govt.Recommend

Sane

Indian trolls are masters of propaganda. They forget terrorism and rapes used as instrument of terrorism in their country. Recommend

Sane

26/11 (Bombay attacks) was planned by Indians agencies themselves. This has now revealed. CAT IS OUT OF BAG. They have confessed that Samjhota Express was burnt killing a huge number of Muslims by Hindu extremists led by a serving col. of Indian Army.Recommend

Yousaf Haque

True to their nature all of India are jumping around with joy,instead of being thankful to Pakistan for having proved as a buffer between Afghanistan and India.By lying between the two countries Pakistan took all the buffeting of war of Afghanistan for no fault of her’s.If shame could be bought,I would purchase some for them IndiansRecommend

Prashant

“They forget terrorism and rapes used as instrument of terrorism in their country.”

The Bangladeshi women must simmer with anger reading people like you.Recommend

Prashant

Wow…. I will see what is not there to see and I will pretend not to have seen something which I have seen, this is called being dishonest to yourself in your desire to be a patriot by a particular standard which has been set by a few mental retards.Recommend

Funny,the whole world says that about pakistan. It was pakistanis who were refered to as ‘pathological liars’, ‘international migraine’,’terrorism exporters’,by the west.Pakistanis have earned such a reputation over the last few decades.Recommend

Fact

Yeah- even 9/11 was done by Indians & the 2004 tsunami too,also the genocide in Rwanda. And nasty kuffar Indians also threw Christians to the lions in ancient Rome. And David headley was also Indian. Happy ?Recommend

Fact

So what if he was an ally during the Afghan-Soviet war in the 70’s ??
It’s not a janam-janam ka saath,that they have to be allies even when he went his way & turned rogue & became a terrorist-thats the point where an ally is not called an ally anymore,but re-labelled as what he is- a terrorist. Rethink what hypocrisy & double standards mean-a term flung around very lightly Recommend

Fact

So what if he was an ally during the Afghan-Soviet war in the 70’s ??
It’s not a janam-janam ka saath,that they have to be allies even when he went his way & turned rogue & became a terrorist-thats the point where an ally is not called an ally anymore,but re-labelled as what he is- a terrorist. Rethink what hypocrisy & double standards mean-a term flung around very lightly Recommend

But I cannot understand for the life of me why all ET bloggers seem to meet ignorant foreigners.Recommend

Hifsa

Wow. and this coming from an Indian. Firstly you are not really our “genetic brothers”..there’s a lot more to Pakistan than just Punjab. Secondly, India has faced countless insurgencies of its own, the Maoist insurgencies, Assam crisis and lets not even mention its brutal occupation of Kashmir. Pakistan also boasts world class engineers, doctors, and excels in technology too. If India has a couple of these too it should come as no surprise from the world’s second most populated country. and your democracy is just a sham. everyone knows that. so go and boast about your so-called achievements to others who can actually be fooled by your so-called claims. especially when 80% of your population lives below poverty line.Recommend

kareena

Don’t forget there is a paki in every Indian page, comparatively there are very,very few here, obviously most couldn’t be bothered perhaps they are taking revenge of pakis contaminating their websites.Recommend

kareena

Pakistan also boasts world class engineers, doctors, and excels in technology too. made me lol. Pakis are most definitely uninformed and ignorant, a result of trolling Bollywood sites 24/7.Recommend

kareena

Well firstly you have to stop trolling bollywood sites first and give your actors a chance.Recommend

Usman Farooq Afzal

Ever wondered your information Oh yeah
Fox news and CNN
First of all, we don’t support h you dumbshit we’re already fighting against it
Constant begging noo we are stabilizing after extreme damage from the terrorists
Let’s see how y’all would do if insurgency at this level would start in your country.
Nuclear proliferation?? Why don’t u ask the US the self proclaimed guardians of the galaxy to disarm huh??If we’ll disarm then India will sweep us.
Hahahaha and aggression seriously like our neighbors are ‘angels’
Medieval practices seriously you should come here and see the truth yourself
Dude like I have many christian friends and no one bothers them
Haha rogue army
Just Cuz it fights against you and its professional, you call it so
Ever wondered about other Intel agencies??
Why us? Apni boothi dekho
Killing of shias?? Deobandis=Saudis=USA
Death penalty Cuz were not cowards and chickens like you
In KSA they behead people on minute crimes
They kill convicts in the US by the lethal injection and electric chair
But when it comes to Pakistan, for the right cause, everyone starts pointing fingers
You guys are seriously overshadowed by your media.