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Santa’s Little Helper

What better way of getting you in the festive spirit than helping out as an elf in the busy lead up to Christmas. Not only does it keep me out of trouble, but I also had my picture taken and helped with an article for the local BN1 Magazine.

With Christmas approaching there’s a good chance that some of the kids in your life are getting antsy that Father Christmas might be unaware of their festive requirements. So, as part of his annual consultation programme, Santa is setting up a drop-in clinic down at Brighton Marina, enabling the city’s children to voice their opinions and concerns.

“We get fun, laughter and joy from knowing that every child that’s been good will get a special treat at Christmas.” Lead festive support analyst, Sparkles the elf, tells us.
A key part in Santa’s operation, Sparkles has worked her way through the ranks to finally become a member of the elite cadre of staff that assist Santa on his grotto visits.
Santa, with some help from Brighton Marina, is inviting every child under the age of 14 to visit him for free, between 11-4 every Sat and Sun, until Christmas.
As well visiting Santa, artists from Same Sky are getting festive at the grotto, with free festive “make and take” workshops. Kids can make table decorations, stained glass ‘Santa Stop Here!’ signs, stocking fillers and tree decorations.
Of course all this activity is just building up to the night before Christmas, when Santa hits the skies, and his elves keep this incredible logistical task running smoothly from their state-of-the-art facility at a secret location inside the Arctic Circle.
“It’s frantic, but bursting with excitement. It’s like the Olympics all in one night. Only for Santa it’s quite lonely scooting all over the globe with only his reindeer to talk to.”
In a brief 31 hours on Christmas Eve, Santa will travel over 70 million miles, visiting around 91 million homes, to leave presents for 378 million children (assuming they’ve all behaved this year).

Obviously organising the trans-global (and carbon neutral) transportation of almost 350,000 tons of presents, and planning a schedule that involves 830 home visits per second, is a feat way beyond the capabilities of any non-magical courier companies. But it’s not a problem for a benevolent, pan-dimensional, festive entity, especially if he can rely on the dedication, and professionalism, of Sparkles and her fellow elves.
“We are the most enthusiastic workforce to ever have existed. We are magical and fantastical, so we don’t face any serious challenges.”

Despite the gargantuan effort put into making so many wishes come true, there’s little respite for Santa and his elves after Christmas has passed.
“We continue to collect and build toys, plus dealing with all the letters that get sent to Santa. But we do get to spend some well-deserved time with our families.”
“It’s a family run business that we are privileged to be born into. The Elf Way of Life is all about doing our best to make children’s dreams come true. I’m proud to be a member of the National Elf service.”

But what want to know is: what happens to the 78,624 tons of mince pies that hopeful kids leave out for Father Christmas?
“That’s a silly question, have you seen how fat our boss is?”

Santa is available for meetings at 11 Mermaid Walk, Brighton Marina, every weekend until Christmas.www.brightonmarina.co.uk