If you throw a stone randomly in Bangalore, chances are, it will hit a dog or a software engineer. While the dog may or may not have a strap around his neck, the software engineer will definitely have one.

In India we drive on the left of the road. In Bangalore, we drive on what is left of the road.

Q: What is the easiest way of causing traffic accidents in Bangalore?
A: Follow the traffic rules.

A guy who was hunting house in Bangalore meets old lady who is potential landlord.
Old lady: Where do you work, son?
Guy : I work in Infosys.
Old lady: Oh, that bus company! Sorry, we rent only to good IT people. It would appear that Infosys operates more buses than BMTC in Bangalore.

Bangalore, where PG (Paying Guest) is the first business and IT, the second.

When someone says, 'It's raining in Bangalore,' be sure to ask them which area, which lane and which road.

If a Bangalorean stops at a traffic light, others behind him stop too because The others conclude that he has spotted a policeman that they themselves have not.

Bangalore is the only city where distance is measured in units of time.
Rickhsaw driver, grocery seller and common shop keeper thinks that you earn atleast 1 lakh p/month if you are in IT sector.

Out of every 100 software engineers in Bangalore, 90 are utterly frustrated and rest have a gf/bf.

What if Shikhar Dhawan was to be rated in corporate style after he hit a century against South Africa????

Dear Shikhar Dhawan,
Firstly, congratulations on team India's 130 run victory against South Africa. That is very much appreciated.

We are pleased to announce that you have been awarded a rating of 'C' (Average Performer) for this match. We realised that your score of 137 was not required when India could win by 130 runs anyway. Only 7 runs from you were needed for the win.

We thank you for your efforts and we wish you all the best for rest of the series. Should you have any questions on the appraisal system, please feel free to contact us during your net practice.