Making Puck: Saturday Smackdown

Oh Doctor! It was a full slate of weekend NHL deliciousness, with only two teams not in action. The Sens faced the Rangers in what some think might be an Eastern Conference final preview, and the Leaves and Habs tangled in Hogtown to see who would take the first game of their 165 meetings this season. Yes, gentleman, it was the first real Saturday night of the season and The Ordinary Seaman got absolutely corking drunk to celebrate. Your drunken/hungover round up awaits.

Toronto 4 Montreal 3— Fuck you, Toronto. You won this meeting, but don’t forget we still have a game in hand. Remember how much that would have mattered at the end of last season? But yes, Leaves win. In overtime. After erasing a two goal deficit. Holy crap that made me drink more.

Ottawa 2 NY Rangers 0— So much for the battle of the titans. Gerber turns away 35 shots and Alfredsson gathers two points as the Sens earn a shutout. Jagr ends up a minus-two with five shots on goal. Serves him right for denying my friend an autograph in Quebec City 13 years ago. That’s karma, bitch!

Edmonton 5 Philadelphia 3— Whaddya know, Briere continues his strong start, but the team that was run into the sewer takes the win. Penner gets a goal.

New Jersey 4 Florida 1— Okay, so maybe Julien stays. Or maybe not. Am I the only one who wants to buff shine Lamorello’s head?

Washington 2 Carolina 0— Ovechkin gets a goal and the ‘Canes get a fuckin’ goose egg. Exactly how long does a Cup hangover last?

Pittsburgh 5 Anaheim 4 — Crosby gets his first point and the Ducks cry uncle after what was probably the worst fucking week of games those players ever had to deal with. Stay tuned for Burke’s rant about how the British lobbed a grenade at his team.

Nashville 5 Dallas 1— Forsberg who? Erat is lookin’ sharp this year. Will the Stars coach call out Turco again? What about all those players who can’t find the goddamn net?

Chicago 4 Detroit 3 — The Havlat-less Hawks win in a shootout. (Yes, I originally reversed the result; je suis un moron. Apologies) They erased a 3-1 deficit in the third and Kane beat Hasek in the shootout.

Vancouver 4 Calgary 3— Hell yeah, both of the big Canadian team matchups went into overtime last night, and both ended on a powerplay. But it must be said: Luongo has taken more rubber in his ass lately than Jenna Jameson in a solo scene. I’m just sayin’.

St. Louis 5 LA 3 — Anze Kopitar is the motherfuckin’ truth, but Paul Kariya ain’t all that bad, either. Personally, I’m not ready for the Blues to be a decent team again. I enjoy them in the basement.

That’s it. It was a crazy night and San Jose play Colorado tonight. I need to go get a poutine and burger ASAP. Or maybe start drinking again? Decisions, decisions. Enjoy your Sunday and happy thanksgiving to my fellow Canucks. And fuck you, Toronto. See you next time.