Monday, January 5, 2015

Resolutions: Disconnecting to Reconnect

by Gabi Pinto-Coelho

Resolutions
have never been my thing. While I might ponder on some informal goals at the
beginning of each year, I have never taken the time to reflect on and write
down what I want to accomplish in the coming year. To me, the idea of making
resolutions on New Year’s never made much sense - anyone can make a goal at any
point during the year. However, this morning I decided to mix it up. I started
a new tradition with my significant other and we sat down to reflect on 2014,
highlighting areas that we were proud of and also opportunities for growth in
2015.

What
started off as a seemingly silly tradition turned into a very valuable
exercise. We began by discussing things we were proud of from 2014, then moved
to brainstorming areas for improvement, both individually and as a couple. Much
to my surprise, my fiancee said, “For both of us, I think we can do better with
our phones.” I couldn’t agree more. On more occasions than I care to admit, the
first thing we both do in the morning is check our phones - email, social
media, you name it. And it got me thinking - I think the vast majority of us
can do better with our phones.

A few
weeks ago we went out to brunch, and I insisted that I put both of our phones
in my purse so we wouldn’t even be tempted to look. Five minutes into our meal
I see another couple nearby. The woman was staring down at her phone, scrolling
through Facebook, while her husband was talking to her. You’ll notice that I
say talking to her, not with her - she may have been sitting
across the table but she might as well have been sitting across the restaurant.

And it’s
not just a perception. More and more research is illustrating the negative
effects of our cell phones. Science has proven that our phones decrease our
cognitive performance, diminish our ability to connect with others, and
deteriorates our memories. One study demonstrated that even the presence of
cell phones reduces our cognitive functioning on tasks, regardless of whether
we use them or they go off. Another study asked participants who had never met
to sit and discuss an interesting personal event. The group that had a cell
phone in sight described their partner as less trustworthy and less
understanding than those with a notebook in sight. As for memory, research has
proven that constant connectivity interferes with memory formation. To convert
short to long-term memory, the brain needs periods of rest. When we are
constantly checking email, text messages, and social media, our brain is not
resting as much and therefore has fewer opportunities to form memories. The
disruptions caused by that text message alert or facebook notification
exponentially increase our likelihood of making mistakes. When we are frequently
faced with decisions, even small ones about responding now or later to that
email, we start to fatigue mentally. It makes it hard for us to distinguish
between what is important and what just feels urgent. Information overload.

Although
our phones allow us to remain connected to friends and family near and far,
respond to emails wherever we are, and much more, it is clear that this kind of
connectivity comes at a price. What we use to help us control our lives has
started to control us. While I enjoy using my smart phone just as much as the
next person, I was eager to make a resolution about using my phone. Together, my
fiancee and I agreed not to use our phones when eating, having conversations,
and in the bedroom. The latter is especially important for good sleep hygiene, since
the light from our devices can interfere with our ability to get into REM
sleep. I think we could expand that rule to other situations but I think this
is a good start.

This
year, I challenge you to disconnect from your phone so you can reconnect with
whatever you are doing and whoever you are with, from moment to moment. Start
by instituting a no cell phone rule in just one context, and gradually
institute the rule in more and more situations. While it could be challenging
at first, you just might be pleasantly surprised with what it does for your
mind, your memory, your relationships, and your well being.

About Me

The Coleman Institute, the Advanced Center for Addiction Treatment, is recognized as one of the most successful and innovative outpatient accelerated detox centers for addiction treatment in the country with 10 offices in the U.S.
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