Wanna hear the best part? The best part is when he's not riding his bike around with the oversized glasses and funny hat he's preaching the holy word of God to us. No joke. So what I'm thinkin' is that this is another one of those Christians-good-wholesome-fun-too statements. Right? That's what's happenin' don't ya think? That's what I think. And you know what? It's true! He's provin' it!

Photo by Normal Bob

Yaaaarggghhh! Too much crack! Run! Run! Run for your lives! It's sucking us all in! Yikes! And as it sucks us in we have to dodge that pimple there! Hellllppppp!!!!!!! No! Not an ass pimple!! The horror! The HORROR!!!

*Tremendous sucking sound*

And the universe is back where it began. There is nothing but vacuum.

Photo by Normal Bob

The other day Bob and I were at Union Square Zoo and we saw the girl-animals eating behaving just like they do in the wild. We got our picture taken with them. They were so cute! And they looked like they were in their own habitat!

I strongly recommend Union Square Zoo. It's the best place in the world!!!!

Photo by Noah Rider

So what CD do you think he's opening up there? Wanna make any bets? Do you think it's shit like Kip Winger or John Parr? Or do you think it's as far gone as Michael Bolton or Joe Satriani? Or, God help us, one of the Star Wars soundtracks? What do you think?

Go ahead, send me your guesses. I'll start a list and then we'll vote.That's the only way we'll get this whole thing sorted out so we can all move on with our lives.

Photo by Normal Bob

Rats. Rats rats rats rats rats. Okay, so here you go. A work of art. Nothin' to do with me and my skills. It's all her. I just took the picture. She's the genius.

So I wonder what's gonna happen with me? Am I going to my grave alone? I mean, as much as I may try to pretend, I am not a super human, and what would a super human like her want other than another super human? That's right. I can only watch and wish.

Photo by Normal Bob

So the next time someone describes the girl as a platinum blond with blue eyes in a belly shirt, shades and tight shorts, this is the the other side of the coin of the same description.

You hope for the one on the left riding up on her banana-seat and blue shades, but you end up with the one gnawing on a corncob, makin' cleavage she don't got and wearing white shoes after Labor Day.

Photo by Noah Rider

You know how when you clone something a few times it kinda loses a little bit of quality? Then when you clone it like 5 or 10 times it starts getting kinda freakish and deformed? Well this is like a tenth generation clone of Jamiroquai. They got to 6 and the good scientists were like "No! Stop! This is inhumane! We're playing God! We have broken important laws of nature and this is the price paid!"

Then the mad-scientist one just had to dupe it 4 more times just for fuck's sake. Ya know?

Photo by Noah Rider

Okay, now everyone just chill for a second. I want to see if I can pull you into the "amazing" part of this particular lady.

She just stood there by herself for an hour holding her sign, patiently, quietly making her statement. A working statement that people stopped and saw and read and remembered. It worked. She worked. Bush looks more guilty because of her.

Photo by Normal Bob

You can not hide from your own hair. You can try, but you will mostly always fail.

Photo by Normal Bob

Okay, sometimes you can hide from it, like say if you hold up something in front of your face while you walk around town, blocking every single person from seeing your head. Then it might be possible, but even then it's a total bitch because you gotta first hold it up in front of you, then when you see someone on your left side lookin' at ya you gotta switch positions. Then if some asshole on your right is trying to take your picture you have to switch sides again. It can be really frustrating I'm sure.

So yeah, I'll stick with my first claim- you really can't hide from your own hair.

(C) 2008 All pictures featured here are my property because they were taken by me & my friends with my camera, so they're all mine!