Mail invitations six to eight weeks prior to
wedding (check the weight of your invitation before mailing it with all of your enclosures, maps, etc., to make sure invitations are not delivered
to guests with “postage due,” or returned for lack
of adequate postage)

Confirm all details & arrangements with all contracted services

Pick up wedding rings, check engraving, & sizes

Call insurance agent to include wedding rings in policy

Finalize plans with photographer, & give them a list of pictures you would like to have taken

Arrange final fitting for gown & bridesmaids’ gowns

Make plans to get marriage license with fiancé

Schedule all final details & quantities of appointments needed with makeover professionals

Give master of ceremonies all announcements to be made during evening with the time of schedule of events. Make sure for grand entrance, give the exact order of who will be walking in with whom, & pronunciation for difficult names

You just got engaged, and what is the best way to get the word out? You’ve got it, have an engagement party traditionally within three months of the date you officially became engaged.

HOST

Traditionally the bride’s parents host the party, yet you may have someone close to you who offers to host this for you. If your families live in different states, you may have more than one person host in different states. You may have the groom’s family host something in their area, or both families come together to host one party for both sides to meet and mingle.

BUDGET

Will the host/hostess be offering their home for a location, or another venue? Will the host/hostess be selecting and paying for their own vendors for your engagement party, or are you able to select your own? What is the budget? Who is paying for what?

LOCATION

Think about the type of atmosphere you want, and if you want everyone in the same room, or if you are okay with them mingling. To send out invitations you will need the address, city, state, and zip code, as well if you are planning to have valet parking, or if there are parking restrictions, especially if your guests are not familiar with the location. The size of the location may only accommodate 100 guests, so you want to know the capacity of the location prior to mailing invitations.

DATE & TIME

Check with your families for their holiday, work, and school calendars so your date selection works for you and your immediate family. What time does everyone get out of work, school, plus transit time to the location, especially if you are in rush hour traffic, or have construction delays.

THEME

Are you having a theme, or a theme which reflects both of you as a couple? This needs to be denoted on the invitation so guests know what to expect.

ATTIRE

Your theme may set the tone of the event, yet if you are requesting a dress code, this should be on the invitation too.

INVITATIONS

Mailing invitations sets the tone for the rest of your wedding, as well as how your guests RSVP. Emailing, texting, or social media invites are informal. Send out invites at least a month in advance (six weeks in advance if a lot of guests are coming from out of town). There’s no need for a formal save-the-date, yet once you’ve selected a day, it’s best to let guests know by word of mouth before you mail the formal invites.

GUEST LIST

Traditionally anyone invited to your wedding may be invited to the engagement party with a +1. If you choose to invite someone who is not invited to your wedding, those guests may wonder what they did wrong to not be invited back. Consider your guest list size for your wedding and the capacity of the venue prior to deciding on your guest list for your engagement party. Make a master guest list so you only have one list separating the last name of the guest from their first names, and putting various fields you may sort to help you on various events, versus having to make a new list for each event.

VENDOR SELECTION

Is your host/hostess selecting and paying for your vendors, or are you? The engagement party sets the tone for the rest of your wedding celebrations.

Caterer

Bartender

Desserts

Live Music, Band, DJ

Invitations

Valet

Photography

Video

Favors

Decor

Rentals – tables, chairs, linens, furniture

Photo Booth

Games

REGISTRY

Select items on a gift registry you want from a low to middle price range, and if not, include a note in the invitation requesting no gifts, or suggest a favorite charity they may donate to in lieu of present.

MENU

You don’t want to compete with your wedding, so a five course meal is probably not an option. Think about the atmosphere you want to create. If you are not serving a full meal, then you should select a time in between typical meals, and make it clear on the invitations so your guests know what to expect.

As your guests enter your ceremony you want to set a mood and ambiance for your ceremony as a first impression, just like your wedding invitation. Music sets the tone of your ceremony.

Prelude music prior to your processional songs should start at least 15 minutes prior to your ceremony start time for guests who arrive on time.

Are you having live musicians play, or are you having a disc jockey? Make sure you have a microphone for your officiant, and if you are at an outside location, would make sure you have umbrellas or a canopy to shield the Arizona sun, or heaters for warmth for your guests and musicians/disc jockey.

]]>http://www.arizonabridalsource.com/wordpress/?feed=rss2&p=12820Ways to Ask Your Family and Friends to Not Bring Children to Your Wedding without Hurting Feelingshttp://www.arizonabridalsource.com/wordpress/?p=1172
http://www.arizonabridalsource.com/wordpress/?p=1172#respondSun, 24 Jul 2016 02:35:17 +0000http://www.arizonabridalsource.com/wordpress/?p=1172

Landon, Ring Bearer

You may approach not inviting children to your wedding in many ways. Remember, for some families, they may not be satisfied with your choice, feel their kids are a “package deal,” and may plan to disregard your request by bringing their children anyway. How will you feel if those guests show up with their children at your wedding?

How would you feel if you were invited to a close family member’s out-of-state wedding, and you have young children, and found out they were not invited? Some people are okay with child-free weddings, others aren’t.

Are you planning to have children in your wedding party as flower girls, ring bearers, junior bridesmaids, or junior groomsmen? If so, you may already be okay with having children at the wedding ceremony, just not at your cocktail reception, dinner, and dance. Make an educated decision by talking to each other, and include your parents to get their feedback on what has been done in your family previously at weddings and other social events.

You may choose to include children of family members only, children of a certain age, or no children at all. It is inappropriate per etiquette to write “No Children” on your invitations. Instead, communicate your wishes by leaving childrens’ names off the invitations, and write only the parents’ names on the invitation outer and inner envelope. Make sure you do not address the invitations to “and family,” or “and guests.” Address your wedding invitation to the specific individual(s) you are asking to share your wedding with you, (i.e., Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan Anderson). You may not want your cousin’s boyfriend of the week invited.

Wishful thinking is that the parents will read and understand by you addressing the envelope to Mr. and Mrs. Steven Horn this implies their kids aren’t invited…great idea and tip above, yet some parents may discard the envelope(s), and “assume” their entire family is invited. The last thing you want is to not mention this on your save-the-date, or the wedding website, and the parents “assume” the kids areinvited and are excited for a family get-away, to receive your invitation 6 – 7 weeks prior to the wedding date to find out their children are not invited.

You may want to tell certain relatives or friends about your plans for not inviting children. As a courtesy, you may hire an experienced licensed and insured childcare provider during the hours of the wedding to watch the children of the out-of-town guests at a nearby hotel, or allow the guests to pay, provide and select childcare options from a list provided by you on your wedding website. Nanny or childcare provider services are available to come to you at a location, and most have been fingerprinted, and have background checks for their employees. Make sure you check their references, and the Better Business Bureau, and get recommendations and referrals from your wedding planner, catering manager, and hotel sales manager.

If you have predominantly locally guests attending, it will be easier for them to arrange reliable childcare. For a new mother traveling with newborn, and nursing, it will be difficult for her to find reliable childcare in an unknown area, and she may need to be close in case the newborn isn’t taking a bottle from a stranger yet. This may be the first time they have flown or traveled together with their newborn. If you have toddlers, they may be clingy and resistant to going with someone they don’t know, especially in the evening, and the parents will be nervous throughout the evening. In that instance, would recommend to arrange for childcare nearby at their hotel. This would be close by, and in case they want to check-in during the evening, it would be easy and comfortable for all involved.

Define your version of “child-free.” Will this be for your wedding cocktail reception, dinner, and dance only, where you are fine with children attending your rehearsal dinner, wedding ceremony, and the brunch the day after your wedding, or will you have an entire adult only wedding weekend? You may already have in your mind the set of parents which are going to be upset with you, right?

Advance communication as clear and kindly as possible with specific wedding details like this needs to be included with your save-the-dates and on your wedding website. Save-the-dates with your wedding website address should be mailed out as soon as possible. You could provide a list of trusted childcare providers for the parents to reach out and interview, and this would be a way (depending on how many children would be traveling) for the children to be all together. You may want to provide a room at your out-of-town guest hotel where the children have Netflix movies which are age related and kid activities in the hotel room so the children have an incredible time, are fed, are supervised, may go to sleep comfortably, and the parents enjoy their evening knowing their children are in good hands too, as a win-win.

Once you and your fiancé make a decision on your choice and definition of “child-free wedding”, would recommend keeping it equal for both sides of your families. If someone RSVPs with more people than you invited, who will be the person to call them and let them know the invitation was for 2 adults, and because of budget, space, or safety (if there is a pool or water feature which may mean unattended children may be at risk) in order for them to enjoy their evening, we have chosen an adult reception only. The last confrontation you want is, “Why did they get to bring their children, and we couldn’t bring ours?”

If you are having only a few couples which have families, it may be easiest to e-mail, text, or call them to let them know you want them to come for a “date night” at your wedding, and if they need help arranging childcare for “Tommy and Anna”, you have a list of reliable childcare providers referred to you which are insured and licensed on your wedding website to check out since it is an adult reception only wedding.

On your RSVP card, as well as your wedding website here are some ideas to consider:

We would love for your children to attend the wedding ceremony, however, the reception will be an adult affair. We would love to help you arrange for childcare please see our wedding website www.MattandCindi8.8.2018 for details.

________ children RSVPs for childcare with age(s) being ______________

On your RSVP card, you may want to put a #1, or #2 for the maximum quantity of RSVPs. This gets difficult if you invite many single guests, since this may allow them to invite their “+1,” although you aren’t interested in inviting their “+1.”

If you and your fiancé are okay with children attending the ceremony, you may want to try:

Children are welcome to attend the wedding ceremony, yet the cocktail reception, dinner, and dance is an adults-only affair.

Children are welcome at the ceremony, yet to allow all guests to enjoy their evening, we have chosen an adults only cocktail reception, dinner, and dance.

Whatever your choice, please communicate clearly with kind words, and treat people the way you would like to be treated.

Are you having an outdoor wedding, or a church wedding? Are you planning on hiring live musicians or a disc jockey for your wedding ceremony music?

Your music selections will set the tone for your wedding ceremony. A steel drum player would create a different ambiance than a harpist. Consider your ceremony location (church, or outdoor wedding), as well as music restrictions (if any) at your ceremony location.

If your ceremony starts at 4:30 p.m., make sure your musicians or DJ are ready to starting promptly at 4:15 p.m., so when your first guests arrive, they may enjoy the ambiance. Don’t make the common mistake to have your music start at 4:30pm, so everyone waits in silence, or your musicians are warming up, or having a microphone check while your guests enter, it looks unprofessional.

If you are having an outdoor wedding, make sure you have a flat surface in shade next to a power supply for your live musicians or dj.

Once you have applied for and received your Arizona marriage license, these next steps are crucial to include in your ceremony for legalities.

1). NAMES: Have your officiant insert/use your proper names. The bride and groom need to be identified, so we know we have the right people. “We are gathered here today for the wedding of “name” and “name.”

2). DECLARATION OF INTENT: “Are you, here of your own free will, and do you intend to marry ?” This is the “I do” that you answer individually, in front of witnesses.

3). VOW EXCHANGE: “I <bride/groom>, take thee <bride/groom>, to be my <husband/wife/loving companion>.
To have and to hold from this day forward,
For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish, until death do us part.”
REMEMBER: You are marrying your intended spouse, not the officiant. Turn to face each other, hold hands, and gaze into each other’s eyes. This is your promise to become each other’s legal partner. You may customize your vows. VARIETY of VOWS: You may have your officiant recite the vows and you respond, “I Do,” or “I Will.” You may read or recite the vows yourself, or you may have the officiant recite each line of the vows and you repeat each line after them.

4). SIGNING THE MARRIAGE LICENSE WITH WITNESSES: The officiant, the bride, the groom, and two witnesses sign and date the marriage license. The officiant mails in the legal portion of the form to the State of Arizona as soon as possible. Expiration of an Arizona marriage license is one year from the date of issuance.

5). PRONOUNCEMENT: “In front of witnesses, this couple has declared their intention to join their lives in marriage…and we now accept them as husband and wife, please welcome the new and .”

5 STEP PURPOSE: Your words may vary, yet the purpose of each step is the same:
1). Establish who you are;
2). Agree you are here of your own free will, and your intention is to be married;
3). Promise to the other person to be their spouse;
4). Sign the legal license with officiant and witnesses; and
5). Pronouncement by the officiant that we have witnessed this legal contract.

Make sure your ceremony has these basic, minimal parts, and that your officiant files the license on time with the State of Arizona.

As you write your vows, the majority of you “do not know where to start.” Word choice is crucial. If you want your husband to “obey,” you must also be willing to “obey.” Longer vows is not necessarily better. With better word choice, you are effectively able to communicate with less.

Remember, you are speaking and marrying your spouse, not the officiant. You have turned to face each other and are gazing into each other’s eyes, and this is the promise to become each other’s legal partner. Many couples choose to write their own vows. Are you good at writing, yet not at public speaking, or the opposite?

Ceremony Vows may be declared in three ways. Depending on your choice, remember the man traditionally recites/responds first, with the woman reciting/responding second.
1). The officiant may recite the vows, and you respond with, “I Do,” or “I Will,” the man goes first, the woman second.
2). The officiant may recite each line of your vows and you repeat each line after the officiant (this works well if it isn’t too long).
3). You read or recite the vows yourself.
Here are alphabetized words to inspire and assist you in your vow writing brainstorm!

Proposing over the holidays? Make this a one-of-a-kind marriage proposal!

ASK PERMISSION FROM HER PARENTS. Start your journey on the right foot by being respectful and asking her parents for her hand in marriage. They may have some opinions on the perfect proposal too.

ENGAGEMENT RING. An engagement ring, just like the marriage, is a lifetime commitment. She will be wearing this daily, and may want a say in the final selection. Find this out, since it will be part of her everyday routines. You may want to “window shop for rings” with her, since you obviously have talked about marriage. Her mom may be able to aid you in suggestions for the ring too, and possibly her best friend. Just make sure they know this is a surprise! Christopher Diamonds, in Chandler, AZ, is my FAVORITE jeweler. Family owned and operated, as for Chris, and let him know Kim Horn personally sent you!

ELEMENT OF SURPRISE Many ladies may “expect” this as a holiday gift or as a birthday gift, so always recommend doing something which is UNEXPECTED for the element of surprise! You could make it an early holiday or early birthday gift so she doesn’t expect it to happen at that time or location!

LET HER KNOW WHY. Don’t just ask her to marry you, let her know WHY she is the one for you. Ladies LOVE reasons, right! Write down a list of reasons WHY she is the one (keep it for later in case you need it for your wedding vows too!) Edit your wording, and make it flow. Recite it often, so it rolls off the tip of your tongue versus being choppy.

MAKE HER WORK FOR IT. Leave her clues. When she comes home from work on a Monday (vs. Friday), leave an envelope taped to her door or a place where she will look for a note, and mention letter #1 “This is the beginning of a series of clues that will end in a life-changing event.” Make sure letter #1 has a huge M on it. Tape an envelope and mention letter #2 (which haw a huge A on it), “Where and how did this all begin?” Describe in a few sentences how you knew she was the one for you. Tape an envelope and mention letter #3 and make sure this has a huge R on it. Talk in this note about the joys of living together, and coming home to her everyday. You will need at least 7 envelopes which spell out MARRY ME? Leave clues hidden throughout the house, her car, her office, her bathroom, you know where she frequents often, and doesn’t expect it! For the E, make sure you are there to have THE RING, the music, the lighting, and to be able to whisk her into your arms with excitement of what is the next step of your lives together!

HOLIDAY or BIRTHDAY. Every lady expects a ring in a ring box. Why not surprise her with a larger box, with tons of tissue paper, and have a smaller box in it with the ring box.

FIRST DATE. Take her back to where it all began with your first date. You may want to practice your lines, and include something like, “We have had an amazing journey to get this far. To continue our journey down the right path, feel the next step is asking you if you will you give me the honor of becoming my wife and agreeing to marry me?”

DINNER, LUNCH, BRUNCH, or BREAKFAST. Take her out to eat at her favorite restaurant, and call ahead for reservations. Let the manager know you will be coming in for a special celebration, and what would/could the server do to help with “closing the deal.” Think of a special prop – for instance, if she loves Disney and Cinderella, how about the ring being delivered on a pillow with a glass slipper brought out as part of her dessert. DO NOT have the ring in food, or in a beverage, since the last thing you want is for her to swallow the ring, or to have to get food out of the diamond! Find out if the chef does writing in chocolate, would be great to have a proposal written on a plate as her dessert is served. Try to have a private moment for just you and her vs. a room full of people.

SCAVENGER HUNT. Come up with some simple clues to start with, then get the clues progressively more difficult. The final location is the “final destination” where the engagement ring is, then pop the question.

JIG SAW PUZZLE. Get a photo of you with a sign, “Will you marry me?” PortraitPuzzles.com offers you a way to get your digital photo downloaded online, and select the size, number of pieces, and remember to ADD time for shipping to get your finished puzzle.

WRITE YOUR PROPOSAL. Write “Will you marry me?” on the bathroom mirror before she gets out of the shower in her favorite color of lipstick. Take a photo of you with a sign “Will you marry me?” and text it to her, something she would not expect.

PLAN A SURPRISE TRIP. Make sure she knows what to pack, yet NOT where you are going. At your final destination, think of a creative way to “pop the question.” This could be at the top of a mountain you hike – let her know you are breathless without her, or she takes your breath away.

RECORD IT. Have someone videotape this from afar, or capture the look on her face when she gets asked. This is something she will review often, and possibly share with your children (if you choose to have children).

MEANS TO THE END. Whatever your method, remember your mission is for this to be remembered and for her to say YES!

Do you have a gap between your wedding ceremony and reception? If you do, it is normally due to the wedding ceremony start time at your church of choice, and may be up to two or three hours. If not, PLEASE read this e-mail below, which my change your mind, and please put yourself in the position of the writer (the guest). Always try to have my brides, grooms and parents of the couple to understand this. Being a role model to many, always try to live by the golden rule, especially when all of your family and friends are affected.

Received this email:

Q: “Know you know everything wedding, and thought I would e-mail you before questioning the bride. Just received her wedding invitation in the mail, and there is a 5.5 hour gap between their ceremony and reception. Is this typical? Excited to be invited, and don’t want to seem ungrateful, yet need your expert on how to RSVP. From our house, the ceremony is a 30 minute drive, and the reception is a 45 minute drive, which makes going back and forth difficult. My husband and I discussed attending the reception and skipping the ceremony, but don’t want to be rude. Just looking for what’s “normal” here. There are no planned activities for the guests and family members, just for their wedding party since they are having all their photos and activities between the ceremony and the reception. Feeling bad for guests which have a longer commute than we do. What do you suggest?

A: With the start time of the ceremony, assuming the bride and her wedding party will be having their hair and make-up appointments prior to the start of the wedding. In order for them to get some sleep, the bride has opted to have their photos after their ceremony instead of prior to their wedding ceremony. Knowing sunset and sunrise are the two best times for outdoor lighting, you may want to check with the bride/groom to see where their photos will take place.

Depending on who you know best, you may want to reach out to the bride (appears you know her best, right?) and see if she is having many out-of-town-guests. If so, many of the guests are in a worse situation than you are!

You may want to ask, if there is a hotel lounge or café near the reception site, or if they are planning a designated area for people to gather versus losing many of their guests. No one likes being “all dressed up with nowhere to go!”