This document, issued by your Islamic conquerors, certifies that you have passed a course on Islamic Repentance. Therefore, as long as you remain a good, submissive Muslim, you are exempt from being whipped, crucified or raped. Well, isn’t that a mercy!

This certificate is perfect if you are a pagan who wants to do whatever it takes to preserve your earthly life. It is equally useful if you are a “Christian” who wants to preserve your earthly life by denying Yeshua (Isa, Jesus).

The major negative aspect of obtaining one of these certificates — besides having to renew it every three months — is that you will be condemning yourself to an eternity in hell, because you are choosing to submit yourself to the demonic impostor-god Allah.

If you truly care about your eternal well-being, you’ll avoid this certificate like the plague, and endure the temporary suffering of whipping, crucifixion and rape instead. This is the difficult choice awaiting you in your Islamic future. Choose well!

During its conquests in Iraq and Syria, the Islamic State has had to come up with a method to allow all those non-Sunnis who ended up converting to Sunni Islam instead of being killed — the Christians, Yazidis, Shias, who for whatever reason remained under IS territory — to be identified as true and legitimate Muslims.

Accordingly, it has been issuing “non-infidel certificates.” Like a driver’s license, these certificates have the picture of the one named and explain to any Islamic State soldier that the named is now a Muslim and thus it is now “impermissible to lash, crucify, or rape him” [portion circled in red]. The certificate is good for three months. Its text follows:

To whom it may concern,

We hereby notify you that the one named Na’il Salu bin Basaam of the people of the al-Raqa emirate took and satisfactorily passed a course on Repentance.

Based on this, we hereby grant him this certificate confirming that he is not an infidel [kafir] and that it is impermissible to lash, crucify, or rape him, unless a legitimate reason arises for the soldiers of the caliphate or if it’s been established that he has returned to apostasy and wants his freedom.