The Bookshop Sketch
from Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl
Transcribed from memory by Bret Shefter <shebreb@yalevmx>, who was in a weird mood (as
usual) on 3/25/86.
Revisions by mmd <c@yvmx> 4/3/86xhtml version by Mats Peterson
<matsp888@yahoo.com> 2013‐02‐08

Cus­tomer. [en­ter­ing the book­shop] Good morn­ing.

Pro­pri­etor. Good morn­ing, sir. Can I help you?

C. Er, yes. Do you have a copy of “Thir­ty Days in the
Samarkind Desert with the Duchess of Kent” by a.e.j. Eliott, o.b.e.?

P. Ah, well, I don’t know the book, sir . . .

C. Er, nev­er mind, nev­er mind. How about “A Hun­dred and One
Ways to Start a Fight”?

P. . . . By?

C. An Irish gen­tle­man whose name eludes me for the mo­ment.

P. Ah, no, well we haven’t got it in stock, sir . . .

C. Oh, well, not to wor­ry, not to wor­ry. Can you help me with
“David Cop­er­field”?

P. [slight pause] No, well we don’t have “Rarn­a­by
Budge” by Charles Dikkens with two Ks, the well‐​known Dutch au­thor,
and per­haps to save time I should add that we don’t have “Karn­a­by
Fudge” by Dar­les Chick­ens, or “Farmer of Sludge” by Mar­les Pick­ens,
or even “Stick­wick Sta­pers” by Far­les Wick­ens with four M’s and a
silent Q!!!!!
Why don’t you try w.h. Smith’s?