David Cameron: Yes! But only in a film mind you! In fact, they can level all of London. It'll make for such a cinematic spectacle.

Gerard Butler whispers to Aaron.

Gerard Butler: Talk about losing the plot.

Aaron Eckhart: Totally. It's like doing planks on a leg day.

Gerard turns to David.

Gerard Butler: It's not a bad idea. What say Antoine?

Antoine Fuqua: Dunno. This is my first time in London.

David Cameron: But would you like to make an Olympus Has Fallen in London. You could call it, London Bridge Is Falling Down.

Antoine Fuqua: Yea! Sure! What'd the tagline be? My fair lady?

David Cameron: Excellent!

Turning to Gerard.

David Cameron: Promise me Gerard, from one Scot to another, you'll do this for your country and your Queen.

Gerard Butler: Yes, Prime Minister!

Whispering to Aaron.

Gerard Butler: I aways wanted to do that.

FADE OUT.

SCENE 2

Characters: David Cameron (PM), Simon Case (Secretary to the PM)

Interior. BFI Imax Theatre, London. 2016

London Has Fallen screening in the theatre. David Cameron and Simon Case watching the film.

David Cameron: This is exciting. Simon do you know, I suggested the idea of this film to Gerard back in 2013.

Simon Case: No sir.

David Cameron: Well I did. I really would like to see how the PM of the United Kingdom stays abreast with all the action. I'm pretty sure I'll give POTUS a run for his money.

Simon Case: I'm sure sir.

David Cameron: Oh look, the film is on.

Ten minutes in to the film, it's revealed that the British Prime Minister dies and the POTUS decides to attend the funeral in London.

David Cameron: Boo! Boo!

Simon Case: Sir! That's hardly the way a head of state should behave at a public gathering.

David Cameron: I can't help it. This was supposed to be the PM's fight to survive and do James Bond stuff. Not die of a heart attack. That's not fair.

Simon Case: Sir. They haven't shown the PM dying. May be it's deliberate misdirection. The PM could appear later and rescue the day.

David Cameron: Oh! I hadn't thought of that. By Jove! That'd be something wouldn't it.

Twenty minutes later.

David Cameron: They've taken this terrorist attack on London a little too seriously haven't they? London Bridge, Westminster Abbey... They're wrecking everything!

Simon Case: It is a tad disturbing.

David Cameron: I love it! I aways knew London falling down would make great drama in a film. It's so much more compelling than Washington DC. We have so much more to offer as a location. There's a deep sense of loss. I'm glad the bad guys blew up the Italian President on the Westminster terrace though. He has no business romancing a girl half his age that too on top of a church.

Simon Case: Oh my God! They shot down the President's helicopter.

David Cameron: YES! This can mean only one thing. My arrival into the film is imminent.

Twenty minutes later.

Simon Case: Sir would you like some popcorn?

David Cameron: To hell with the popcorn. When do you think they'll reveal the big twist?

Simon Case: Any minute now sir.

David Cameron: Why is this Chief of Scotland Yard such an idiot? You think he'll be the mole?

Simon Case: Could be sir. That would explain why he's done nothing in the film, thus far.

David Cameron: Between Obama and I, who do you think is fitter?

Simon Case: Mr Obama is thinner, but I think you'd beat him at a game of golf.

David Cameron: Chuffed!

Twenty minutes later.

David Cameron: All this stabbing is making me queasy. Why is Gerard being so macabre?

Simon Case: Could be a socio-political dig at American secret agents sir. A sort of self critique by the filmmaker. Trying to depict the dark frame of mind of their soldiers.

David Cameron: Could be. That's why I like Daniel's films. He brings an edge to James Bond but he doesn't make him look like a nutter.

Simon Case: True.

David Cameron: POTUS has shot and killed half a dozen bad guys already. When do I get to go all guns blazing? I want to be like an American Badass. I want to save the day. I want to feel important. I want...

Simon Case: Some popcorn?

David Cameron: Yeah sure!

Movie ends twenty minutes later. Lights come on. An irrate looking David Cameron looks for Gerard Butler in the theatre. Unable to locate the actor, he steps out with Simon.

David Cameron spots Gerard Butler interacting with the media on the red carpet. He rushes towards the actor.

David Cameron (Panting): Gerard! Gerard!

Gerard Butler: Oh! Hi David! How's it going?

David Cameron: Very well. Thank you. How are you today?

Gerard Butler: Warm as English breakfast.

David Cameron: Hunky Dory! By the way I just saw London Is Falling.

Gerard Butler: Did you like it?

David Cameron: In parts yes. The action was choreographed very well. The car chase sequence was spectacular. Oh by the way, I don't think those earlier scenes that were supposed to be Pakistan looked too authentic.

Gerard Butler: Yeah we shot them in India.

David Cameron: Gotcha! Any ways, I'm slightly upset that the British PM had no role to play in a film based on the London attacks. He just curled up and died in bed.

Gerard Butler: I'd told Babak Najafi the same thing.

David Cameron: Babak what?

Gerard Butler: Najafi. As in Colonel Gaddafi from Libya. He's an Iranian and the director of our film.

David Cameron: What? Is he like an immigrant? Did we ever deny him visa? Has that festered in his psyche and he has resentment towards the British office? Why else would he bump me off without even showing my face?

Gerard Butler: He just thought Aaron and I had a chemistry working. He thought getting the PM into the thick of action would just distract the fan base. President and his ace security guy was a dream team.

Simon Case: The portrayal of MI6 was fairly poor as well. Not to mention your character's tendency to be all John Wayne meets Liam Neeson all the time.

David Cameron: Okay! Okay! But while London was being attacked at least a few Londoners would get their duty right.

Simon Case: And why were the bad guys Pakistani? You could strain international relations between the countries.

Rob Friedman steps into the conversation.

Rob Friedman: Look Sonny, this is an American film about patriotism and heroism. It's supposed to show the world, we can beat your ass anywhere in the world. We even gave Gerardo a monologue on American greatness. Besides, Dollars were spent on this not Pounds. And Aaron is a better President than you.

Simon Case: Uhh, he's a Prime Minister not a Pre...

Rob Friedman: Shut it, boy!

Gerard Butler: Look David, from one Scot to another, I'm really glad you gave us this idea. But maybe the Brits can produce a film like this for themselves. James Bond can be made your head of security and then you can have Algerians, like in Taken, try to attack 10 Downing Street. You get the drift?

David Cameron: Awesome! We'll call it Downing Was Taken. Can we give the Queen an RPG?