Monday, July 25, 2011

Celebrities are heading the headlines when it comes to stalking. Stars like Catherine Zeta Jones has receive threatening letters from a stalker who is infatuated with her husband.Other hollywood actors have lived with it for years. While celebrity makes the news, far more frequently it's those living normal lives - women and men both - who are stalked by someone they know, typically a former partner or someone they're involve with.

There's a line between the overzealous pursuer and the stalker. Stalking is much more about inducing fear. The overwhelming majority of stalkers are men - four to one. Psychiatrist have developed several stalker profiles:

The Rejected Stalker. This person was rejected in a relationship, and they perceive it as an insult, they feel wounded, and they are seeking vindication.

The Resentful Stalker. These are self righteous, self pitying people who may threaten, but are the least likely to act on it.

The Intimacy Seeking Stalker. They believe they are loved or will be loved by the victim. Often they focus on someone of higher social status. This person is mentally ill and delusional.

The Incompetent Stalker. This person is socially backward. He doesn't really understand the social rules involved in dating and romance. He doesn't mean any harm.

The Predator. This is about sexual gratification, control and violence. The stalker doesn't necessarily know the victim. The victim may not know she is being stalked. But a predator plans his attack, rehearses it, and has lots of sexual fantasies about it.

The rejected and predatory stalkers are most likely to assault their victims.

Here's something to consider: Are you a stalker? If you see this obsessive pattern in yourself, see a therapist or join a support group.