THINGS I LEARNED TODAY… OR MAYBE JUST RECENTLY OR SOME TIME AGO

Things I learned today, or maybe just recently or some time ago, in no particular order:

1. A lady with the last name of Church once lived in my apartment. I’m still getting her mail. Ms. Church, if you’re out there, some advertising peeps are desperate to get in touch with you.

2. I ran out of bath soap. Yes, me who has one of everything in reserve, ran out of soap.

3. My brain filter really can hold back more than I ever thought it could, even though it probably looked like I was having a seizure at the time.

4. Blondes really do have more fun but the reasons vary from blonde to blonde.

5. Sassy is as Sassy does and Sassy is free from what Sassy was. (Can I get an amen?)

6. There is so much more to me than meets the eye. Ok… so I didn’t really learn that today, but I really do think someone else learned that today so I thought it was worth mentioning.

7. I balanced my checkbook and found I shouldn’t subtract without a calculator after midnight in the dark. The good news is, it worked out well in my favor!

8. What I don’t know could fill an ocean, but I like the view from my island and scuba diving has taken on a whole new meaning.

9. “Sweet in the Morning,” by Bobby McFerrin is actually a good way to end a day.

10. Men carry the weight of the world on their shoulders. Women carry it on their hips.

11. “No More Drama,” by Mary J. Blige is a great song… but it gets me all riled up and makes me want to run all over town kicking drama’s sorry butt in whatever form it takes. Just knowing I could will have to be enough for now because I’m all about solving issues non-violently…but sing on Mary J. Sing on.

12. I can be so busy I can hardly see straight and be completely bored simultaneously. It’s an interesting sensation, and a frustrating one, too.

13. I relearn this lesson often: I can’t change anyone else. The only person I can change is me, and only with God’s help.

14. There are reasons, too numerous to mention, of why I’m not in charge. Of anything.

15. I can. Sometimes I just don’t.

16. I am simultaneously my own best friend and my worst enemy.

16. Stubbornness can get me into trouble, but it can also get me through.

17. That “do unto others” and “love your neighbor” thing can sometimes be extremely difficult or danged near impossible.

18. No matter how many times I take in the waist of these jeans, they still find a way to slide down my hips and come to the precarious point of “not going to fall off,” but “get ready to trip!”

19. I’m addicted to popcorn. I blame Orville Redenbacher and that summer I worked on a popcorn seed farm – also the place where I learned to misuse words like, “stalking.”

20. I am richly blessed with friends that I love more than I can put into words.

21. I stay up too late… but I’m not kidding when I say I’m not tired right now.

22. I will one day adequately define, “Ditto-ocity.” I’ll let you try to figure out what that is for now.

23. I really like me. I really, really do.

24. Slowing down is different than not being in a hurry.

25. Laughter is the only medicine on which I am incapable of overdosing.