The Comically Screwed State Of Politics, In Small, Easy-To-Swallow Bites.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Right-Wing Celebrates Overthrowing One Of Obama's Evil Czars

Oh no-zees! Amid the quiet R&R of Labor Day Weekend, the White House fired outspoken BLACK "green jobs czar" Van Jones, making the surprise announcement in the wee-early hours of Sunday.

But what terrible crime did Van Jones commit to get the ol' heave-ho by Obama and crew, (other than the obvious problem of his rather dark skin color)?

Ready for it? He called the Republicans "assholes" (gasp!). The nerve of that man! Of all the indecent, horrible things to do, calling the party that wants nothing more than for the Obama White House to implode a meany name ranks high on the list of top offenses.

For a White House trying to fight through health care reform, and encourage bipartisan cooperation in the face of unabashed GOP obstruction and baseless personal attacks, the latest overblown controversy had terrible timing.

As Press Secretary Robert Gibbs explained, "What Van Jones decided was that the agenda of this president was bigger than any one individual. The president thanks Van Jones for his service in the first eight months." And now kindly asks him to scram.

In a resignation statement early Sunday morning, Jones said: "On the eve of historic fights for health care and clean energy, opponents of reform have mounted a vicious smear campaign against me. They are using lies and distortions to distract and divide." So I guess it wasn't his first choice to resign?

While the Jones controversy appears to have gotten its momentum from trustworthy, conservative voices of reason like Glenn Beck, it spread quickly once the right-wing realized forcing Obama czars to resign was better than any orgasm they've never had.

Former press secretary to President George W. Bush, Dana Perino couldn't agree more.

"Resigning was the right thing to do," Perino said, adding she was "curious how he made it that far into the administration when a Google search could have told you he believed that the Bush administration had allowed 9/11 to happen. It'd be like the Bush White House having a former Klansman or Holocaust denier in the West Wing."

Ha ha imagine that? Well I for one feel so much better knowing it was just a bunch of demented, inept, torture-loving, constitution-hating psychos instead.