JudgeLynnToler

I Love You So Much I ...

I Love You So Much I …

To be in a healthy relationship in which you feel valued and cared for.

To be comfortable in your own skin.

To respect and honor both yourself and others.

To bloom.

This is a word from a woman who’s seen things designed to help you get it done.

When Control Masquerades as Romance.

People never go into relationships intending to be abused. But it often happens because abusive behavior can be so subtle in the beginning. In fact, sometimes early abusive behaviors resemble expressions of love. Though they can look like each other, they are not the same. You should know the difference between the two.

Take Sarah and Bobby. They’ve been dating for a month. Bobby calls Sarah a couple of times but she doesn’t answer. Next thing you know, he’s calling her every five minutes for an hour. His explanation, “It bothered me when I couldn’t reach you. You should always answer my calls. I was worried. You need to understand. It’s because I love you so much.”

That sounds nice but it isn’t true, even if Bobby believes it himself. Bobby’s behavior is not about love. It’s all about control. A lot of abusive behaviors can look like that.

– She wants to know where you are all of the time. She loves you just that much.

It drives him crazy when you talk to other guys because he knows how they think and he can’t stand the thought of them taking you from him.

He wants you to tell him about everyone you talk to and what they said anything about him. “I’m trying to protect our relationship,” he says, “because I’m so in love.”

While those things sound reasonable, they’re not true. Love is not restrictive and controlling. It isn’t fragile either. You both should be comfortable with yourselves and your relationship even when the two of you are not in the same room.

If the person you’re dating becomes upset when he or she can’t have you all to themselves that’s not love; that’s control. Being in a relationship should not make you feel like a prisoner. If it does … it’s something you should address.