Keys to staying in contact with your college student

As your child begins to get settled in at college, here are some rules of thumb to keep the lines of communication open:

Frequency: Aim for touching base once a week, said Gary Ireland, dean of students at North Central College in Naperville, Ill.

“If you get in the habit of talking daily, you might not be giving your child the freedom to find their independence,” he said. “They have to learn how to problem solve without needing constant parental consultation on how to handle things that come up.”

Medium: Phone calls are optimal for what should be standing weekly appointments. But social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter — both of which allow users to send out mass status updates like “At the library cramming for my econ midterm!” or “Pi Beta Phi formal this weekend...” — are great ways for students to offer at-home siblings a window into their life while letting mom and dad know they’re alive and kicking, Ireland said.

Substance: Students shouldn’t just call when they need funds, Ireland said. Although it’s easy get consumed with dorm life, there’s an obligation to communicate to loved ones that they are safe and well.

Ireland cautions parents against sharing too much.

“There’s nothing more frustrating for college students than hearing of troubles from home and being helpless and feeling far away,” he said. “Stay away from venting about tight financial times, job security issues or an illness. It leaves the kid feeling guilty, and I’ve seen a fair share of students who come into my office and tell me they want to withdraw from classes because of a misinterpreted message received from that kind of conversation.”