OMG. OMG. OMG. On Friday, Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux were in the same movie theater as Brad Pitt and some of his children! If that's not crazy enough, it looks like they narrowly missed seeing one another! Says a source,

Justin and Jennifer skipped the popcorn and went straight in. Like five minutes later, Brad and the kids came out of the theater. They just missed each other!

Can you even imagine the kind of apocalyptic event that run-in would have unleashed? The scorching heat of the awkwardness would probably have been enough to melt the face off of the Earth. Of course it's possible that they might have politely said hello to each other like adults and then gone their separate ways, but it's way more fun to imagine that Brad Pitt would have pinned Theroux to the floor and given him a good talking to while Jen and Shiloh Jolie-Pitt wrestled and pulled each other's hair. [OMG]

Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes took a perfect walk together in perfect Paris, and predictably they looked perfect. Warning: the photos of their romantic stroll will simultaneously make your heart soar with the thought of doing a body swap with Eva while also causing your heart to break from the thought that perhaps Ryan will marry Eva and have babies with her and will not, in fact, be reading you your love story every day in a nursing home while you wait to die in unison. [Daily Mail]

In what could possibly be the most non-item in celebrity gossip history, TMZ has announced that Ryan Reynolds may have set off his own home alarm by accident. Apparently the alarm is the silent kind, and he didn't realize he'd tripped it. The cops showed up, and he was very nice and apologized for making them turn up when nothing was wrong. Then presumably he went back to living his life, and now that we know this non-drama was successfully resolved we can all do the same. [TMZ]

Connie Britton, current star of American Horror Story but forever Tami Taylor in our hearts, adopted a little 9-month-old boy from Ethiopia earlier this month. His name is Eyob, and he is so adorable that it might hurt your heart, y'all. [Just Jared]

Chris Martin had to ask a woman in the audience to stop playing along with her tambourine after she spontaneously decided to join him during a Coldplay show at a small club. He went out of his way to not be a jerk to her, reportedly saying,

This is not a tambourine song - I don't mean to be rude. … Don't take it personally. I can't see what you look like, but you look lovely and sound fantastic. Don't take this to be some kind of anti-tambourine rally or rant against the tambourine. It's one of my favourite instruments.

He then promised her she could play along on the next song because it is a "tambourine frenzy." Is Martin just a very considerate guy or does he have some dark, secret tambourine fetish that's causing him to protest too much? We need to get to the bottom of this immediately! [Digital Spy]

So, yeah, Tori Spelling dressed her six-month-old daughter Hattie up as a roasted turkey for Thanksgiving. The picture of the poor, unsuspecting infant is worth approximately 1,000 words on the topic of why costumes should never become a Thanksgiving tradition. [Us Weekly]

Robin Williams is doing that thing where you brag that people tell you that you look exactly like a good-looking famous person, even when you look nothing like them. His celebrity twin is Bono, but at least he admits that the only people who tell him this are totally wasted and/or crazy:

I only really get mistaken for Bono by people who are really hammered. They have to be completely s**tfaced to think I'm Bono. I suppose when I put on the glasses I look a bit like him. It's usually from a distance and by people who've had a lot of medication.

Michelle Williams has said she wouldn't hesitate to go back to her role on Dawson's Creek, but there are some obstacles to this since her character died. Don't worry, she's got a good solution: "In a heartbeat I would go back, but I would have to go back as a ghost." There are probably a lot of people who'd pay good money to see that show. Make it happen, powers-that-be! [Digital Spy]

Evelyn Lozado was all set not to return for the next season of Basketball Wives after VH1 insinuated she'd fooled around on her husband Chad Ochocinco, but now she's been wooed back by a deal that promises her more money for less work, a flexible schedule, aaand…wait for it…a spin-off show! The show will feature Evelyn and Chad in the months before their wedding. Prepare yourselves. [TMZ]

George Michael is suffering from a very serious case of pneumonia and has had to cancel the rest of his 2011 tour dates. He's being treated at a hospital in Austria and is "stabilized and responding to treatment." [HuffPo]