Obviously No Rhymes material, or whichever band is willing to do "A Night of Complete Horrorshow," this particular song is one I'm not too proud of lyrically...but the hook for it is, as one practiced and seasoned guitar veteran proclaimed, "fucking awesome."

Too bad all I can give you is the lyrics, eh?

Anyway, That Damned Clown...funny story, this was actually, like, three times as big. Just three times as many verses. When I started proposing it to my band, I actually cut out two-thirds of the content and the second time around they hailed it as being awesome.

Meh, I'll get to it when I get to it...

In the city there
In the spotlight where
There's a goddamned clown
With your number

In the alleyway
In the darkness of
The city full of those
Brightest lights

Light your eyes up like
Christmastime and you
Are finally now prepared to
duck, dip and sway

In the city with
So many nightlights and
There's the flesh that he
oh so craves

(bridge)

In the darkness of
Striking distance you
Will know how to be
His brightest light

In the darkness you
You will find that you
Already know how to
Take a butcher knife

In the alleyway
In the darkness of
The city full of those
Brightest lights

In the city there
In the spotlight where
There's a goddamned clown
With your number

Technically for my main band, but could go either that or No Rhymes. After I watched "Cryomancer" by Defiler, like, five times in a row I became inspired to write a throaty, growly death metal song m'self.

What I got was this.

Now I told my drummer about this just jokin' around, but the moment he heard the lyrics he's all "Dude, we should do this."

So now I gotta continue on with training in how to death metal growl in order to pull this song off.

Go me. Fffffffuuuck.

I REALLY LIKE YOUR FUCKING SWEATERRRRRR
I REALLY LIKE THE WAY YOU FILL IT OUT
I JUST FUCKED YOUR MOTHERRRRR
I WANT
I REALLY WANT YOUR FATHER TOO

SO WHEN YOU GET HOME
YOU FUCKING BITCH
YOU'LL GET SUCH A SURPRISE

WHEN YOU OPEN YOUR EYES
WALK THROUGH THE DOOOOOOOR

AND SEE THE BUFFET I'VE
LAID OUT BEFORE

YOUUUUUUU....

YOU NEVER SHOULD HAVE LEFT ME
THAT'S WHY I BONED YOUR PARENTS
AND I KNOW YOU'D DISBELIEVE IT
SO THAT'S WHY WE'RE IN THE LIVING ROOM
IN YOUR FAMILY'S PILLOW PIT

NAKED
FUCKING
SQUIRMING

YOUR MOTHER
YOUR FATHER
ARE MINE

YOUR AUNTIE
YOUR UNCLE
IS NEXT

YOUR WHOLE
FUCKING FAMILY
IS MIIIIIIIINE

FOR EVERY TIME YOU LIED TO ME
WHEN YOU SAID I LOVE YOU
A RELATIVE OF YOURS I WILL DEFILE

AND BY THE WAY
I STOLE YOUR FUCKING SWEATER
NOW YOU'LL KNOW MY PAIN

THE PENISES THAT WERE IN YOU
IS NOW IN THE PEOPLE WHO MADE YOU

THE PENISES THAT WERE IN YOU
IS NOW FUCKING THE PEOPLE WHO FUCKING MADE YOUUUUUU!!!

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Yet another really likeable one of mine, Another Prom Song was initially slated for A Night of Complete Horrorshow, only to end up as a back-to-back on Internet Terrorists.

Both songs featured a stripped-down, clean guitar prom rock sound and are just effin' cool to sing. I actually use practically the same vocals for this that I do for "Blue Moon," but I've heard from others that when I do 'em side by side for comparison they're completely different.

Peh, I hear what I hear, y'knowwhatImean?

Funny story, for the first two lines of each verse is supposed to be vocals and a kick-beat only, then everyone jumps in afterwards...but for some reason I didn't actually type that out on my notes. I gotta remember to do that or I might confuse m'band...

That and there's this xylophone sound that actually sparks up at hear and there all over the place on the song, only I recently found out it's the same goddamned xylophone tune that Gnarles Barkley used for "Gone Daddy Gone." Dunno if I still wanna roll with it, but it sounds sooooo fuckin' awesome though! We might just have to ask them to borrow it or somethin'...

The rings and the chains
and her rotting brains
(music starts)
That's how we love
like lovers
should

Comin' on home on a friday night
I'm feelin'
kinda shaky and my nerves are tight
But you know
In the crypt
In the tomb
Like lovers should

Alone at your tomb I'm waitin' for you
I'm feelin'
kinda wonky and I'm ready to do
What I must
In the grave
In her bed
Like lovers do

('Cuz when your darlings' a zombie
Your best friends a shovel) and a spade
(Creeping and crawling and stalking the night)
Performing atrocities unafraid
Ready to face the day together
Ready to face the day to come
Ready to face the day~!

(bridge)

(Creeping and crawling we stalk)

Her bones jangling
Her viscera gleams
(music starts)
That's how we love
Like lovers do

Take her to meet my ol' mom and dad
I'm reelin'
From the blows she delivers to them
And then we
drag 'em home
drag 'em down
Like lovers would

Finishing what she's done unto me
I'm seein'
Her point of view and it's plain to see
And now we
Lay me down
Lay her down
Like lovers do(oooh)

Like lovers do(oooh)
Like lovers
Do-do lay me down
lay we down
like lovers doooo~!

Okay, we got two songs that are considered "Prom Rock," so to speak, on our first album. As I've stated before, my main doesn't deal with only one genre but rather Hard Rock, Punk, as well as Heavy Metal. None of my songs really encapsulate that more than Zombifier and Another Prom Song (With Zombies).

Funny story, I actually had to add Another Prom Song AFTER the inception of the songlist for Internet Terrorists. It was my drummer who basically argued that we shouldn't split them but, rather, put 'em both on the same album...initially Another Prom Song was going to be on the A Night Of Complete Horrorshow album. SOOOO, if'n the album drops and y'all pick it up and like it? Yeah, you can thank my drummer for that.

(LAAAAAA)x3
Laaa-aaaaa, Aaaah-woaaaah...

Well I knew I should have told you girl
But you're killin' me (twice dead~!)
And it is true I have left you blue
And it's killin' you since (I've le-eft)

Okay, we have the first album, "Internet Terrorists," planned out pretty much already, right? Well, we already have the second album's concept planned out as well...suffice it to say, we kinda have this humongoid backstory, and for reasons I cannot state just yet during the second album in order to prove ourselves we decide to go up against the Great Old Ones themselves.

We decide to face down against the dread evil invaders and prove to a certain group that our power is legit, that our claim is true. To THAT point comes this, the theme song for the album...either [My Main Band] Versus The Necronomicans, or just "The Necronomicans."

Check it, lemme know 'sup.

In the Halls of Judgement
Beneath dreaded, cruel R'lyeh
In the Mouth of Madness
Where even Death shall die

In the Halls of Judgement
Where walls of cruelty lies
In the Maw of Destruction
The Necronomicans arise (rise, rise, rise)

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Note - this is one of my stripped down ones, and it'd be better to simply hear it sung if anything. I'm just sayin'.

The Axe Murder In All Of Us

Sociopathic tendencies
It all means absolutely nothing to me
Because all the things that I like to do
Are frowned upon by others just like you
Even though they like to do it too

Latent empathy mixed with dread
It's all stuffed up deep inside of my head
Because all the things that I'd want to do
Are acted out by all the others just like you
Even though you never wanted it too

(chorus)
Illegitimate lust
Filled into a cup
Raised up to those hungry lips
Beckoning the reckoning though drunken in sips

Because the axe murderer's in all of us
Painted in blood and tasting of rust
The axe murderer that's in all of us
Allowed to kill with an undisturbed thrust
You had to die because of broken trust

(bridge)

Sociopathic blessings all
It only means something to those in thrall
Because all the things that I have done
Now has me going out and about on the run
I'm on the news, I'm not the only one

Endoskeletal masked become
These are the things that we must put on
And now all these principles I came to know
They are the only ones left to grow
and now it's time to begin the show

A-shes to dust
Taken from a bowl
shaped out of a hollowed skull
Becoming the beholder though that's not all

Because the axe murder's in all of us
Painted in faith and tasting of rust
The axe murderer that's in all of us
Sociopathic and without trust
You had to die because of lack of trust
You were once alive but now you're dust

I noticed I put up two songs that were a bit more serious than I should start this blog off with, y'know? So yeah, here's one from our Five Moves of Doom demo, which will HOPEFULLY SOMETIME SOON get the fuck cut. 'Cuz, y'know, WE HAVE NO FUCKING JAMSPACE! It'll come though, just gotta call up these warehouses tomorrow...see if I can rent some place for us to do work.

(TWELVE HUNDRED POUNDS
OF
PENIS) x2

Every night I go out to
satisfy my lust
the people all love me
they surround me with their trust

Whipping and slapping
every upturned ass I see
give them a pearl necklace
it means nothing to me

I've used and abused
slaves from Mars to Venus
they come to expect it
I got twelve-hundred pounds of penis!

I hate to think with my dicks
That's not how I like to get my kicks
It feels so right but it looks so wrong
I don't care I just wanna get it on

(chorus)

(TWELVE HUNDRED POUNDS
OF
PENIS)x3

Bridge
(During bridge, this is spoken by the lead vocals):

I'ts not like it's one huge cock you know, it's actually seven of them. Seven huge freakin' tentacle genitals! Genticles! All of them are for you and our DAAAAAAAAARLING slaves, baby, yeah! Well all except for the seventh one, that's dirty and for potty time onliy! What, you want me to do what with my dirty potty genticle?! Ewwww, no! Pee time is meeee tiiiiiime! Oh, okay, just this once! UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNGH!)

(break back into verse)

Get a squid in a leglock
and you'll look just like me
Y'know I got Cthulu
hanging down in my pants

I work so hard to
fit in with society
only to discover
the truth will set you free

From the poor to the rich
ask anyone who's seen us
They'll tell you about how
I GOT TWELVE HUNDRED POUNDS OF PENIS!

I hate to think with my dicks
That's not how I like to get my kicks
It feels so right but it looks so wrong
I don't care I just wanna get it on

First and foremost, welcome one and all to my literary blog. Mostly my horrible attempts at poetry, song lyrics (which usually start off as attempts at poetry then I add a chorus line and a bridge section...yeah), and analysis of my fave fictional characters.

Now, don't get it twisted...I've done a couple of short stories (that I will not post here - they were done in high school, like friggin' 1995 yo) and one book that will NEVER see the light of day (started it 1994, finished 1998 then promptly hated it FOREVER - I keep it as a goad, though, to always do better than that), but I tend to write fully fleshed-out overviews of stories and scripts that I'd like to get around to doing someday.

Some of these story/script overviews, though, are so friggin' awesome that I might show them off here anyway. Amongst those are some of my old favorites (posted over at a friend's DeviantArt, if'n y'all wanna go take a look) such as Hell King Megakaizer, Maximum Krieg, Dangerous Mismanagement and Bad Dog.

I tend to also suffer from a bad case of sequelitis, only in a way I can only hope that is positive. For instance, Dangerous Mismanagement 1-3.5 is tied together incredibly well, with cameos from one another and based on a timeline that spans all four stories. But all four sequels (except for 3.5, if I remember correctly) are pretty much based on individual stories within those arcs.

Hell King Megakaizer, though, is based on four story arcs that equal out to a season of episodes each, from beginning to holyfuckinggodIwentthere end.

Maximum Krieg, on the other hand, is more or less somewhere between both episodic story arcs and full-blown alternate shows, all based on the same timeline and characters involved. I have yet to write out the overviews for Alpha and Omega (which follows an older Maximum Krieg 1000 years in the future, older and far more sadistic, vicious and violent) and After The End (which takes place shortly after the End of Time, though it might not be the Krieg we know and love...well I know and frikken love).

...now that I've looked at it again, naw they're pretty much all following the same pattern of stories within an arc. Ignore that entire previous hullabaloo I just dropped on y'all.

ANYWAY, let's start with some song lyrics I have layin' around, eh? I can't tell you my main band, but I CAN tell you of the fictional-ish band that, if all goes as planned, will actually open up for my main band...which is pretty much my main band in zoot suits, three-piece tuxes and hair grease. Really classy, y'know? So my songs fall in one of four categories:

My Main Band - I won't tell ya the name, and will pointedly delete all commentary pertaining the name of my main band. I made a promise that if my band really DOES make it, if we cut this demo and put out our first album...then and only then will I break anonymity, if for no other reason than I said already that I would. I am a man of my word, a man of honor and I live up to that word to an extreme.

No Rhymes - No Rhymes is that concept fictional band I was just talkin' 'bout. Opening up for ourselves, doing just whatever the hell we want. Unlike my main band, which focuses on all original music, with No Rhymes we can do music that is (in fact) completely un-metal, un-rock or un-punk and just DO shit, y'knowwhatImean? Covers, music we normally wouldn't do (electronica, hell we got a homeboy who's a D.J. who might join in for that), things of that nature, y'know? I only have one album prepared for it, "A Night of Complete Horrorshow," and one or two of the songs will be also on my main band's opening album, "Internet Terrorists." Suffice it to say I'm only four songs off of bein' done with "Horrorshow," and I could even claim that I'm done with it NOW what-with nine songs done (I'm still tweakin' one out though...it just doesn't sit well with me too much), but I'm a thorough bastard and when I say I wanna do somethin', I'm gonna do it all the way.

Besides, 13 songs for an album like that is awesome. You'll notice I do that a lot...

We'll see, we'll see...

A Project for The Ace - you remember my homeboy, The Ace? The one I talked about on my recent rage-filled article over at Netflix This? Well, suffice it to say we're both artistic types and we bounce off one-another incredibly well. At one point in time we were both involved in a comic project that has, sadly, taken a backseat to other projects...but I have an entire album of song lyrics I wrote up for that comic, with a second one planned that I never finished.

There's only one song on there that I'll NEVER share with anyone, and will point-blank delete ANY posts any of y'all or The Ace makes pertaining to it. The rest are good, except for the instrumentals...that wouldn't make sense to post here, y'know?

Standalones - just song lyrics I've done that are pretty much good for anywhere. Or actual poems. It all depends on how you look at it, but I'll probably never actually vocalize these songs/poems since they're just not my style to do so...but I wrote 'em, and here they'll get posted.

I've also got an entire forums-worth of a role-playing (pen and paper) system I was DMing' with a group of my friends just layin' around. We never finished it, but I DO have the entire storyline for it and was thinking of how I could transform it into something a bit more comprehensive. I have this entire system of gaming called "Extreme Existence" that spans whole realities-worth of existence, and has tons upon tons of badassed characters. I've always wanted to translate that into a video game, and perhaps someday I will...though pro'lly not on my own at all. I suck horribly at drawing, and I gave up on programming years ago...though as of late I've been looking at my old programming books (the immortal O'Reilly series of programming, languages for dummies, standalones that are just fucking awesome and every programmer should have them, the entire A+ series...I do believe the MCSE 2007 core set, though all of 'em are in storage) and, due to the places I've been hanging out on the Internet, am thinking of perhaps taking that up again and posting up the results here.

I gotta warn all of you, don't expect excellence from me (except for my lyrics). I'm a master of starting a project then letting it fall behind simply because of stress, constraints, or simple bullshit that has taken up my life. Things happen, y'know? REALLY bad things happen, and it always sucks the hardest when it happens to you.

I usually roll with the punches though, and so long as I keep living I'll have these overviews, lyrics and poems to look back on and be able to work the actual projects out using them. Or I'll find a ghost writer to help me out. Or I'll just hire a bunch of interns (i.e. - monkeys) to just get it done finally then slap my name on it.

Either way, 's all good.

Now, I gotta warn y'all: the stuff I post up here is straight outta my files, y'knowwhatImean? So this is the way the bands I work with see 'em, and I oughta let you guys know the same kinda info 'bout 'em. Whenever it takes multiple vocalists (sometimes the entire band), I'll put the words in ( ) style, just so it stands out different from the rest.

If they're in capital lettering, then they're meant to either have stronger emphasis or straight-out being louder/roaring. It's hard to describe with JUST the written word, but I'll eventually figure out how to fuckin' record something and have our Yootoobs up so y'all can hear it at least vocally, if not when we finally get our jamspace set and can just record with the vocals, drums and bass.

Anyway, thanks for hittin' me up and keepin' up with me thus far. I can only hope that, in the very least, you are actually entertained by meanderings and mutterings.

Welcome to my literary blog. Welcome to "The Pen Is My Sword."

Much love and lotsa rage,

~That Bastard

P.S. - True story, I have a wordpad file titled "My Weapon of Choice." I found it funny that musicians equate their instruments to weapons, so what's better for a vocalist than either A) a megaphone (which I fuckin' want an all-black one) or B) a book of lyrics?

Dude, I got, like, a three-hundred page "e-book" I made myself of various lyrics that I use, including my own songs.