In the good ol' days of Fornits we used to discuss things like that....

I said often that it was our most beautiful human need, the need for connection that allowed the process to work...that many survivors reject this need and perhaps reject many human experiences as a means of protection from the loss of integrity we allowed in ourselves to meet the need for connection...

The goodness of our humanity out weighted the need for our ego to make sense and continue....

there's so much about all this, I mean it might explain some of the suicides, I mean sometimes I think it was the extra sensitive, gentle people that tended to commit suicide in the first few years of release...

Brings up thoughts about how it's healthy to compromise in order to belong to a community and how isolated many survivors tend to be....unable to compromise without a sense of violation due to past boundary violations...and without the sense of healthy connection through healthy compromise...weird extremes in boundaries as a defense in surviving the program....

God there is a lot I can say about this...the feeling of wanting to recede from society, or just from people who demonstrate a lack of respect for personal boundaries...fight or flight...with me it's some of both, ended up being 'fight' when kids came into the picture.. not so easy to up and leave anymore..i tend to be cagey, don't like anyone checking up on me, or commenting on stuff i do so i keep to myself.. i can think of FIVE times after Straight that I took off from people without even letting them know beforehand..it was my way of dealing, and it was never even over money; it was over something stupid, usually..