Funny hitchhiking signs

Veteran hitchhiker Patrick Falterman reckons the best way to get a lift is to get a laugh. Here, he shares his favourite humorous hitchhiking signs...

Every hitchhiker loves to make signs while they're on the open road. I guess there's something about that old image of a drifter holding a piece of cardboard with the word ‘anywhere’ scribbled on it that feeds the hopeless romantic in all of us.

Making a sign can often help you get a quicker ride, too. But when making a sign, remember that one of the most useful tools available to a hitchhiker is a sense of humour.

Here is a compilation of funny, crude, effective, and sometimes just plain out-there hitchhiking signs that I have collected from fellow travellers. Keep in mind that not all of these should be used on the road; some I’ve just put on here because they make me chuckle. Use at your own discretion, and utilise that noggin, you dope.

‘Won’t Kill You!’

– Digihitch.com

‘Freshly Showered!’

– Digihitch.com

‘Maybe I’m Jesus’

– MN

‘Not on the run’

– Mtn Bum

‘I didn’t escape, I was released’

– MN

‘Free weed!’

– MN

‘Free weed?’

– Mtn Bum

‘I smelled worse yesterday’

– MN

‘Almost there!’

– Mtn Bum

‘I have an English accent’

– Kabuki Mono

‘I won’t testify!’

– Mtn Bum

‘This sign used to be my house’

– MN

‘Lost it all in Vegas’

– Mtn Bum

‘Keep driving if you’re a jackass’

– Mtn Bum

‘HURRY! And we can catch the hot chick two cars ahead of you!’

– Mtn Bum

‘How about THIS time?’

– MN

‘It’s a pickup truck for f*%!sake!’

– Mtn Bum

‘I’m not in a position to be choosy’

– Kabuki Mono

‘Take me to your leader’

– Nick R.

‘I don’t find my situation funny’

– Kabuki Mono

‘…dying…’

Kabuki Mono

‘I’ll hide your stash’

– Mtn Bum

‘I’ll sing backup’

– Mtn Bum

‘My sister’s cute – she’s in the next town’

– Kabuki Mono

‘I saw what you did back there’

– MN

‘In my country, the middle finger means you’re stopping’

– MN

‘Will agree with you’

– MN

Patrick Falterman took up hitchhiking when it dawned on him that he didn't have enough money to buy a plane ticket from Houston to the Amazon. Five years – and many miles – later, he is currently canoeing down the Amazon. You can follow his adventures on his blog, Hitch The World.