Elon Musk Predicts Humans Will Colonize Bruno Mars Within Next Decade

In a bold statement from the founder and CEO of SpaceX, Elon Musk has predicted that humans will colonize pop star Bruno Mars “within the next decade.”

“The technology’s almost there. We have the right systems in place,” said Musk, poring over charts of Mars’ body taken from the Hubble Space Telescope. “I estimate we’ll have a sustainable habitat established on the surface of Bruno Mars no later than 2028.”

Musk says colonizing Mars, who dominated this year’s Grammy awards with his album 24K Magic, is the only hope for the long term survival of the human race.

“The data currently being collected by the Bruno Mars Rover look promising,” said Musk. “We’ve already launched numerous resupply missions to Mars’ Los Angeles mansion, and we’ll be sending more unmanned missions to probe his skin and hair at some point in the next year.”

Musk started SpaceX in 2002 with the ultimate goal of sending manned spacecraft to Jennifer Lopez, or possibly even country music star Kenny Chesney. But Mars’ performance in recent years has caused him to aim his sights even higher. However, just how humans will be able to survive the arid climate on Mars’ surface and deal with the G-forces produced by his relentless dancing movements is yet to be seen.

Added Musk, “We landed people on Keith Moon all the way back in 1969. This is clearly the next step.”