THE RETURN OF THE STABLES!!!
Horses are back, and the IM has them! Available for the low, low price
of 45 gold, only in Yellowleaf, only from the Illustrated Man!
Riding Horses [52]: 45 gp, quantity 12

HEALING POTIONS!!!!
Sick and tired of paying through the nose for that contract loyalty?
Running out of noble points for oaths? What you need is to rule your
nobles by fear! An 84 point terrorize, immediately followed by a healing
potion, will keep your man in fearful loyalty for the entire game!
Terrorize your nobles in complete safety with The Illustrated Man's healing
potions, at a mere 150 gp apiece.
If you are concerned about safety, we now have a satisfied customer who
will testify to a satisfactory transaction.
Potions currently for sale:
c108 d018 g666 (the potion of the beast)

At present the map offer is suspended. Hopefully it will be re-opened in a
few turns once life settles down a bit.

-- The Illustrated Man [1010]

Rumors

10.....

Yvengi is a small, flat, wingless insect
with sucking mouthparts, parasitic on the
skin of man and some other mammals.

"All warfare is based on deception"

-Sun Tzu

Guidelines for Evil Cultists - "How To Be A Cultist":

Recently, the Order of Evil Oly Overlords has noticed a
regrettable decline in the availability and quality of
fanatical henchmen, evil priests, and willing sacrificial
victims. We wish to correct this growing problem by
submitting the following general guidelines for Cultists.

1. Pick one faith and stay with it. Dilettantism is the
mark of the amateur.

2. Avoid needless embarrassment. Practise the correct
pronunciation of your deity's name in the privacy of your
own room before chanting it in public. Flash cards are
often helpful.

3. Never invoke anything bigger than your head.

4. Avoid all cabalistic jewelry over ten pounds in weight;
it attracts unwelcome attention from tourists, policemen,
various supernatural creatures, and can be downright
dangerous during thunderstorms.

5. Citronella candles may not be used in rituals. We cannot
stress this enough. Pastel-colored candles in the shape of
cute animals are like beacons to the Powers of Darkness.

7. NEVER be the cultist that goes to rough up the hero(es).
Ransacking hotel rooms is probably safe, but going 'round to
beat up the good guys is a sure route to the bottom of the
Thames.

8. When a Black Mass goes awry, stay away from the Evil
High Priest. Enraged demons always go for the pompous.

9. Don't gloat.

10. If you can't resist gloating, don't reveal your plans.

11. If you do gloat and reveal your plans, don't leave the
hero(es) to die slowly. They don't.

12. If you gloat, reveal your plans, and leave the hero(es)
to die slowly, don't have the audacity to look surprised
when they turn up at the last moment to foil your evil plot.

13. The hero (or heroes) will always show up at the last
possible moment to foil your plans. With this in mind,
start half an hour early -- they really hate that.

14. Plan ahead by selecting ceremonial robes that are easy
to run in while still affording ample concealment.

15. When a religious artifact begins emitting light, CLOSE
YOUR EYES. Thousands of cultists could be saved every year
if they'd just remember this simple safety tip.

16. When mutilating cattle, avoid the ones with testicles.

17. During ritual sacrificing, taking bits home "for later" is
now generally considered bad form.

18. Blood tests are now required for all sacrificial victims
before the ritual. The effects of HIV+ offerings on the
average malefic deity have never been witnessed by anyone
living, or even intact.

19. Contrary to historical belief, drugs and invocations do
NOT mix. When the s**t comes down, it is vitally necessary
to be able to discern between the gibbering monstrosity to
throw the holy water on and the gibbering monstrosity that
will fade away after a few hours, some B-complex, and a good
hot bath.

20.. Never play strip Tarot.

21. Piety and belief are powerful things, and few forces in
nature can stand against one who is true to his faith, his
God, and his own soul. However, it is also true that the
Gods tend to side with the heaviest artillery, so be
prepared change sides at the drop of a hat.

22. For those situations where a fresh, living sacrifice is
just not feasible (or even possible), the lower ranks of
demons can be fooled by microwaving a previously-frozen
chunk of ex-victim and cleverly jiggling it. However, a
mock victim sculpted from "Spam"(tm) is right out.

Beware Sea Serpents Northwest of Greyfell

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
He appeared to me last night in my restless sleep of
nightmare dreams. The ghostly teacher whom I have never met,
only read of. He was standing in the center of a stone
forum with pillars of fire, arms folded in his black robes.
Around him circles three dragons, billowing fire at the demons
frequently trying to attack my Master.

"You are my chosen vessel," he said in a soothing, clam
voice. The demons shrieked and his image faded momentarily,
but returned more clearly than before. "The world is losing
it's path. Complacency is stalling the advance of
Olympia's future. The followers of the lesser god Kygor
are subverting the people. His followers are numerous,
but their number can not overcome their foolishness.

"Eliminate the followers of Kygor."

Bewildered and confused I tried to take in all that
was happening, but the surrounding demons and cries of
the dead distracted me. "I know who you are but what
is your name?" I asked.

"For now, you may call me Teacher."
"Eliminate the followers of Kygor!"

The Student
))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Save the Children Fund

How can you go one more day knowing children are going
uneducated, Ill Clothed, and HUNGRY.
While knowing that you have not done all that you could.

We at the Save the Children Fund have found a way that
lets you truly give ALL of yourself to Save the Children.

Yes - if you donate yourself to Save the Children you
will become a slave in one of our many enterprises and we
will use part of the profits from that enterprise to help
SAVE the CHILDREN.

So prove that you truly care for the children.
Show that no cost is to great for you, if it benifits
the children.

And if you cant give yourself, think of giving a friend.
They will love you for it, because its for the Children.

Remember Give Yourself and SAVE the CHILDREN

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

All donations are final. No Returns.
We reserve the right to dispose of any slaves as we wish.