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Entries categorized "NaBloPoMo"

November 15, 2011

I know. I know. You're sitting there thinking, how many more words can this girl possibly write about infertility? I can understand this sentiment, because quite frankly, I get sick of thinking about it myself. I wish I could empty my brains of all the feelings and thoughts and feelings that are taking over my every waking moment. Because, you see, there are so many feelings.

I've never been a particularly sensitive person. This personality trait led to a great many moments of discord growing up with a mother and a sister who are more sensitive than a bundle of raw nerves. I rarely went out of my way to be mean, but I would consistently make comments or behave in ways that branded me as "thoughtless". As I grew older and slightly more mature I learned that it took just a little extra effort for me to be thoughtful and compassionate toward other people's feelings. It's not that I don't ever feel sad or hurt or misunderstood--I have an entire blog category dedicated to my struggles with depression--it's just that I often have trouble communicating these feelings, or even understanding them myself, so to avoid dealing with them I pour them into a neat little bottle and pack them away into a deep, dark corner of my psyche.

So, it's not that I don't have feelings, it's just that I get very uncomfortable acknowledging or expressing my feelings in anything but writing.

But ever since it began to dawn on us that making a baby wasn't going to be quite the hey presto experience we were expecting, all of that has changed. I am constantly feeling sad, or angry, or hopeful, or bitter, or jealous, or betrayed, or worried, or any number of other complicated emotions that I can't just power through, dash off a blog post about and carry on with my life. I spring rapidly from one feeling to the next, leaving me with a sense of emotional whiplash. One minute I'll be feeling optimistic or even excited about our fertility treatment plan, so then why do I suddenly want to punch that woman who is complaining about her child? Or, I was just feeling incredibly guilty about how my anger has gotten the better of me once more, promising myself that I will find better ways to channel my emotions than through jealousy and bitterness, and now I want to write a scathing Facebook post about pregnant women who think they can just go out in public any old time walking around all PREGNANT. Or hey, maybe we'll miraculously get pregnant in that one last cycle after Colby gets home, and then we won't have to worry about any of this! And then I'm right back to this is all so fucking unfair, woe is meeeeeee, I hate the world today.

I never know how I'm going to feel when I wake up in the morning. I dread falling asleep because I don't know if I can handle another dream where I discover I'm pregnant or am joyfully juggling twins, only to wake up and find myself just as babyless as ever. There are days where I feel a sense of lightness, because we have this figured out and I am excited for the future. Then there are days where I wonder how anybody can look at me and not see that I am falling apart.

This weekend, I somehow landed on a website detailing Kubler-Ross's Five Stages of Grief.

DenialAngerBargainingDepressionAcceptance

Anyone who has taken an Intro to Psych class has seen these before, but seeing it there in writing, just as I was going through it... it was as though the clouds parted, and I had a sudden moment of clarity. Even though I'm not mourning a death, I am going through the most classic stages of grief. In a sense, mourning the loss of a dream. The dream I have had since I was a little girl of growing up, falling in love, having a baby. On my own terms.

Is it certainly possible, even likely, that there will be a child or children at the end of this path we're on? Yes. But I can guarandamntee you that when I was pouring my heart out at slumber parties, none of my rosy scenarios involved painful daily hormone injections, cleaning out my savings account since my supposedly stellar insurance plan doesn't cover the one major medical procedure my body needs in order to function semi-properly because it's "elective", and creating the miracle of life in a petri dish.

The article stated that though these are the most common stages of grief, there is not necessarily a linear progression through them. And while you may spend just a minute in one stage, you could spend days, weeks or months in another. I suppose it's a good sign that I have, if only in the briefest of moments, flirted with feelings of acceptance. It doesn't mean that I'm happy, or joyful about our circumstances, but I do acknowledge that it is our circumstance, whether we like it or not.

Unfortunately, I'm still spending most of my time ping ponging between anger and depression. I feel sick to my stomach when I hear about a pregnancy. I have countless moments of bitterness toward other mothers who express completely valid frustrations of their own. I feel furious at an insurance company that is failing us so deplorably. I want to scream at the unfairness of a world where a drug addict, alcoholic, or a teenager can get pregnant on accident, while a loving, financially secure, educated, mature couple has to undergo invasive medical procedures for just the glimmer of hope that an embryo might implant. I even cringe at the merest possiblity of yet another character on tv announcing a pregnancy. I don't go around melting down in public or punching people, but the anger and sadness is almost always there, simmering just below the surface of day to day life.

I have no doubt that this is just a miniscule taste of the emotionally and physically draining mountain that I still have to climb--I can't even think about what a mess I'm going to be when I'm hopped up on hormones and stress. I have so many worries and fears about the path that we've set before us, and I think that the anger, while also a natural reaction to a shity situation, is a defense mechanism. I don't know how long it will take before I land permanently on acceptance--honestly, it may be never--but I cannot give up and allow myself to be swallowed up by bitterness and anger. I know that I have to keep going and cling desperately to whatever shreds of hope I can find. But I have to feel my feelings. I have to accept them as valid emotions, and let myself go through this. Everyone tells me that at the end of the day, I will look back on this and it will all have been worth it. It will all be worth it.

"After climbing a great hill, one only finds there are more hills to climb. I have taken a moment here to rest, to steal a view of the glorious vista that surrounds me and to look back on the distance I have come. But I dare not linger and can rest only for a moment, for my long walk is not ended." ~Nelson Mandela

"Hope is like a bird that senses the dawn and carefully starts to sing while it is still dark." ~Anonymous

November 14, 2011

We all knew it was only a matter of time before I whipped that title out, right?

Anyway, I have been officially (or unofficially if you work for the IRS) employed as a babysitter for one week, and already, I've had a veritable roller coaster of ups and downs. Overall, though I am absolutely loving this, and wondering why it took me so long to realize that babysitting is a perfect fit for me.

It combines my love of children, flexibility, and money, and all of my favorite parts about working in a before and after school child care program with none of its drawbacks. I literally play games and cuddle babies. For a living. And being that we're talking about a ratio of 1:1 or 1:2 instead of 1:15, I spend much less time dealing with discipline issues. The best part? If I really end up disliking a bratty kid or a parent, all I have to do is tell them I'm busy every time they call. Brilliant!

So far, my client list includes two friends kind enough to hire me on a few occasions, one regular nannying job for an infant and toddler sibling set, three families who have interviewed me and said they will schedule occasional jobs, and a sitting service based out of Charlotte that organizes child care for group events in the Carolinas. Since November 2nd I've managed to rack up 32 hours of work. I don't think I'll be able to aquire that many hours on a regular basis, but I definitely feel like I'm off to a good start.

Of course, not everything has been perfect. This weekend I was hired to work for the service I mentioned earlier--the same one that gave me 15 hours of work last weekend. I showed up at the hotel where the conference was being held at the appointed time, and there was no one else around. I found the room full of toys, labeled with the name of the conference, so I knew I was in the right place, but after 30 minutes of waiting and an unanswered phone call to the organizer, I grumpily headed back to my car and returned home.

Later that night, I got an email from the service saying that they apologized, but a lot of families had cancelled so they wouldn't need my services on Sunday. In a wine-fueled fit of frustration, I wrote a strongly worded (though even upon sober review, respectful and firm) email detailing my disappointment in how this job had been handled. Of course, they were also offering another 13 hours of work for next weekend, so I kindly asked to please be signed up for that. I might be annoyed, but the money is still good and I've got a baby to buy. While I was out for my run last evening, I received a very apologetic voicemail from the organizer of the event asking me to call her back so that she could talk to me. So we'll see how that goes when I call her back later today.

But as for the good parts, I'm so excited about my weekly gig hanging out for a few hours twice a week with a teensy infant--seriously teensy, he's only 3 weeks old--and his precious two-year-old sister. The little girl is super well behaved and so easy to entertain, and the baby is just... oh, be still my heart. I was a little worried that working with an infant would be hard on me, but instead I find myself looking forward to my time with him, and spoiling him rotten with cuddles and hugs any time he opens his mouth to bleat. I spent an hour last Thursday with the little girl playing on the floor at my feet, the baby sleeping on my chest, and the Muppets on television. Heaven.

So anyway, that's a whole lot of words to say, in a nutshell, there are certainly some downsides to working a job with no set or guaranteed hours, but I'm so in love with what I'm doing, and it's incredible to have a job that I actually look forward to! And babies!! GAH!!!

November 13, 2011

I'm not sure why it came as such a surprise to me that much like people, dogs all have VERY DIFFERENT personalities. And not just in terms of their breed's traits, but some are silly, some are serious, some crave attention, some just want to eat your shoes. Some eat quickly, others can have a full bowl left out all day and not finish it. All of them make you wonder what exactly is going on in that space between their ears.Things got off to a pretty rocky start when I brought Jack home from a Little Rock animal shelter in 2005. First, there was the shocking revelation from the vet's office when I went to pick him up from being SPAYED that he was a boy, not a girl, so they neutered him. Then he got crazy sick with approximately 14 different worms, an eye infection, and a nasty case of distemper that came pretty close to killing him. But we pulled through, and in short order he became my most favorite little buddy.He quickly turned from a shy, frightened, shell of a puppy, to the loudest, most boisterous animal you can imagine. We suspect that he sustained some neurological damage from his battle with distemper, so he'll never win any brainiac awards (which always surprises people when I tell him that he's part border collie--but we think he's also got some chow in him, and those dogs be DUMB), but he is just so sweet, and goofy you can't help but love him.

When Jack goes on walks, he is at his most focused and determined. He marches forward, looking back only to make sure you're still behind him. If we are walking on the grass, and he can see a path or a road, he makes a beeline toward it--he hates a walk with no direction and has no time for your typical dog behaviors of smelling objects on the side of the road or even worse, taking breaks to get pats. He is incredibly loving, and all you have to do is look at him to get his tail thumping, but it takes some convincing to squeeze any cuddles out of him. He prefers to lie down across your feet or lean against your leg to show his affection.

He's our special snowflake, but we love him.Ellie, in true second child fashion has far fewer photos from her early life with us. Whereas Jack had multiple photo shoots each day from the time he walked through my door at six months old, this is the earliest shot I can find of Ellie. She joined our family when she was just a little four-month-old baby, and in this photo she's six months.

I got her from a different shelter, and fortunately didn't have to deal with any life threatening illnesses, but oh, this girl has a little bit of the devil in her. For many months I wondered if I had made a huge mistake. The first thing she did upon entering the apartment was walk up to Jack, sniff him, then started a tussle that ended up with this ~20 pound girl pinning his 40 pound butt to the ground. She made it clear from the start who was in charge, and nothing has really changed since.Ellie is incredibly stubborn and independent--we can't decide if she's more like a teenage girl or a cat. She refuses to get out of bed to go outside in the morning until she's good and ready. She spends her day rotating through the various sunny spots of the house. She loves a good cuddle and will happily pounce in your lap, but you have to make it seem like her idea. She has been carrying on a torrid love affair with a succession of tennis balls throughout her life, and when Ellie goes for a walk, it's more like a thorough investigation of the neighborhood in which she leaves no stone unsniffed or leaf unpeed on. If she's not sprawled in a patch of sunlight, she can be found curled up, sleeping in a tight little ball and should you dare to disturb her, you will get the most scathing look imaginable.

And if all of that wasn't enough to convey their personalities and relationship with one another, this picture sums it up pretty perfectly.An unsuspected nose bite is worth a thousand words.

November 12, 2011

For those not in the college football know, one of LSU's love him or hate him players, Tyrann Mathieu, was dubbed the honey badger (inspired by this amazing viral video) at the beginning of the season. He earned this moniker due to his tendency to zip around the field making some pretty sweet plays and, as the video goes, taking what he wants. Mathieu has had a rocky road the past few weeks and likely destroyed his shot at the Heisman, but when I saw this shirt combining my love for LSU with my love for ridiculous internet memes, I knew I had to have it on my body.

I won't be watching LSU play WKU in our homecoming game tonight 1) because homecoming is traditionally a lame matchup that doesn't air on any of the channels we get and 2) because I'm working. But you'd better believe I will be representing my team in my rad honey badger shirt.

November 11, 2011

I cannot remember a single moment in time when I haven't had identified with the military. I have no idea how old I was when I got my first actual id card--twelve maybe?--but even before that day, I knew that I was a part of the military. My father had spent 20 years in the Air Force, and even as a child, I was pretty proud of that. Once he retired, and we had moved to Louisiana, not many of my friends had parents who had served in the military, so I always felt that it was a pretty unique defining characteristic.

Then, in high school, I decided to take a couple of years of JROTC so that I wouldn't have to take a phys ed course, and four years later, I was accepting an Air Force ROTC scholarship and signing a contract to commission upon graduation. I traded in my dependent id for a reserve id. Another four years down the road, I was once more signing on the dotted line as I accepted my commission as a 2nd Lieutenant and began active duty as a personnel officer at Little Rock AFB.

While I was proud to serve my country, being on active duty never felt like the right fit for me, so when I got the opportunity to separate and join the inactive ready reserves, I once again traded for a reserve id. Not too long after that, I came full circle when I was issued the dependent id card that came with marrying into the military.

I'm incredibly proud of my family's military tradition. Three of my four grandparents moved to America from other countries, in search of the American dream. But in that short time since we were established in the United States, each generation of my family has served in the military. My grandfather as a part of the Army Air Corps in WWII. My father in Vietnam. Me in Operation Push Papers. And now my husband in Operations Enduring Freedom and New Dawn.

I'm celebrating Veteran's Day by giving thanks for all of the men and women who get up every morning and protect our country. And I'm also giving thanks for the life that the military has afforded me. It is far from perfect, and at times it can be downright miserable. But it has given me a sense of pride and honor. It has given me the opportunity to travel and to call so many places home. It has brought so many wonderful people into my life.

And I'm shipping this off to my veteran who is far from home on this day that honors him. I'd rather have him here, but if we have to be apart, I'm so proud that this is the work he's doing. Thank you, Colby. Thank you, daddy. And thank you to anyone else who serves or has served. America is a better place for having you.

November 10, 2011

It's funny, because this week I am giving thanks for the wondrousness that is fall in the South.

For as long as I can remember, fall has been my favorite season. I read a quote in Southern Living that said fall is a Southerner's reward for surviving summer, and that couldn't be more true. Everyone is maniacally excited to shed their winter coats at the beginning of beach season, but by the end of August, the entire population of the South is lying prostrate in front of their air conditioning vents, melting into a pool of their own perspiration, begging the good Lord to deliver them from face melting temperatures and oppressive humidity.

And then comes the beginning of October, with its brief, rejuvenating snap of cool weather, followed by week upon week of utter mid 60s-low 80s perfection. It is still warm enough to squeeze in a last few moments with your favorite summer dresses, but the days cool down enough to justify boots and a light cardigan. It's not so cold that you have to cover up your perfect fall ensemble with a bulky coat, and the nights are made for sitting around a fire pit and tying on whimsical scarves.

I never realized just how glorious fall in the South is until I moved to Washington. In short order, I developed a Pavlovian response to the calendar turning to September. Except instead of drooling, I whimpered into my wooly socks and bid a heartbroken farewell to the sun for the next six months. I survived the cold, damp, grey days for two fall seasons and by the end of those two short years, "fall" had become a dirty word in our household. We just didn't talk about it. And I decided to take my cancery risks in the tanning bed in an effort not to kill myself in much quicker ways.

But now we are back in the South, and I am rejoicing in the beautiful weather that we've been experiencing and that will be coming our way for another month or so before the much cooler winter temperatures set in. I don't know what the Air Force has in store for our next assignment, so for now I'll just revel in each day of perfect Southern autumn that I'm given, and dream of the day when I'll never have to dread fall again!

November 09, 2011

I'm reading Don Quixote right now, and I'm finding it surprisingly funny and touching. I have been wanting to read it for a while because Man of La Mancha is one of my favorite musicals. Or at least, it's one of my favorite soundtracks. I've not yet had the chance to see it performed, but I've listened to the music while reading the libretto, and much like the book, it is both heartwarming, sad, and absurd.

So, as I make my way through the novel, I usually end up singing the music to myself as I read, and the songs get stuck on repeat in my head throughout the day. Tonight, I decided to take a break from Christmas music to listen to the album, and when it got to The Impossible Dream, I stood frozen at the sink, hot water running, dirty pot in hand, listening to the lyrics. Really hearing the words.

I've always thought it was a beautiful song, but as I listened this evening, my eyes filled with tears because it resonated in a new way. It says everything I've been trying to tell myself over the past few months. To be strong in the face of oppressive disappointment and sorrow. To keep love alive when distance is a near constant companion. To follow dreams into a world of fear and uncertainty in the hopes that we will come through intact. To keep believing that despite seemingly endless setbacks, dreams can still become reality. Clinging to those beliefs like a life raft to get myself through the bad days.

To dream the impossible dreamTo fight the unbeatable foeTo bear with unbearable sorrowTo run where the brave dare not goTo right the unrightable wrongTo love pure and chaste from afarTo try when your arms are too wearyTo reach the unreachable star

This is my quest, to follow that starNo matter how hopeless, no matter how farTo fight for the right, without question or pauseTo be willing to march into Hell, for a Heavenly cause

And I know if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest, That my heart will lie peaceful and calm, when I'm laid to my restAnd the world will be better for this: That one man, scorned and covered with scars, Still strove, with his last ounce of courage, To reach the unreachable star.

November 08, 2011

And don't go throwing Turkey In The Straw in my face. That doesn't count.

It's been hard to find reasons to smile over the past few weeks, but every time I crank up my iTunes Christmas playlist I instantly feel more peaceful and content. It's like musical Zoloft. And given that I have about 15 hours of Christmas tunes, I have to get started early if I want to be properly satisfied by the end of the holiday season.

Making me grin even wider each time I click play are these recent additions to my library.I've been listening to these two albums on repeat, and I'm completely smitten. Michael Buble's take on Christmas is chock full of instant classics and grand, sweeping instrumentals that perfectly complement his silky smooth vocals. Zooey Deschanel and M. Ward, on the other hand, are much more stripped down and quirky, and their Christmas carols are so different from anything else I've heard.

I'm also excited for the release of Glee's second Christmas album in the middle of this month, and thanks to AOL, I was able to spend my afternoon caroling with the New Directions... and I guess the Trouble Tones.

I know it's a bit early yet for most people to be breaking out the Christmas tunes, but to help me prepare for the upcoming season, what is your favorite Christmas album? There's a pretty good chance I already have it, but I'm always on the hunt for new additions to my collection!

November 07, 2011

One of the most overwhelming aspects of dealing with infertility and deciding to undergo IVF is facing the staggering costs associated with the procedures. Unfortunately, many insurance plans do not cover any fertility treatments, and as much as Tricare does cover, it does not pay for anything after a diagnosis of infertility. Even though they pay for 100% of testing prior to a diagnosis, I have to pay room fees for my hysterosalpingogram and my hysteroscopy, as well as my anesthetist's fee, which will come to $700. I can submit my bill from the anesthetist to Tricare and they might cover it, but I'm not holding my breath.

I've talked about some of the different options for our IVF payment, and while we're still trying to decide, I think we're leaning the most toward the $15000 charge for four cycles--two fresh and two frozen. Yes, IVF may work on the first round, but if not, and we only paid for the cycles one at a time that would be $12000 down the drain and another $12000 for our second procedure. These quotes were also given to us before we knew we would have to do ICSI (the doctor injects the sperm directly into the egg, instead of just putting them in a petri dish together and letting them do the work), so that may make the procedure more expensive. On top of that, the estimate for medication is $2000-5000, and I'm planning on $5000 for budgeting purposes.

I also like to add in a little padding in case something ends up costing us more than what we were expecting, so adding in a $5000 buffer, we're looking at somewhere in the neighborhood of a $25000 hit to our savings next spring. Although we're pretty good savers and put about 15-20% of what we make each month into savings or investments, we also just took an expensive trip to Europe, bought $3000 worth of stocks and enoyed a fairly spendy summer, all before we knew IVF was in our future. While we do have sizeable savings, most of it is in our IRAs and various stocks and funds that we really don't want to touch until retirement.

So, looking at our savings account, I really want to save another $10000 before March. That sounds incredibly daunting, but I've thought about it, and I think it's possible. We'll probably get somewhere in the neighborhood of $3000 back from taxes, bringing us down to $7000. We already put $300 a month directly into savings, and since we've refinanced our Washington house, that's an additional $200 a month that we'll be able to add--so by the end of March, that will be another $2500, leaving us with $4500 to scrounge up.

And that's where babysitting comes in. I'm certainly not making millions, but I estimate that if my parent interviews this week go well, I'll be working about 10-15 hours a week, so by my self-imposed March deadline, I could probably save close to $2000 as a conservative estimate. Leaving us with $2500 that will hopefully materialize just by pinching our pennies.

With Colby gone I'll be eating out less, and while I'm planning a few trips during the deployment, I'm trying to make them as cost-effective and budget friendly as possible. I've decided to set a $50 clothing limit per month, my makeup and beauty stash has been recently replenished so I shouldn't need to spend much there. Any money we get for birthdays or Christmas will go toward the baby fund since that's pretty much the best gift either one of us can imagine.

So, with that savings plan in place, I really think we can reach our $10000 goal, and if we're very, very good, maybe even save a bit more so that we're not entirely cleaned out by April.

Is anyone else saving for a big purchase or event? What are your best savings tips?

November 06, 2011

I just have to say, thank goodness for Drew Alleman, Brad Wing and cell phones that magically know what time it is so I don't have to fully understand how the time change works. The LSU game was incredible. We were so evenly matched with Alabama, that both teams spent the entire game locked in battle and it came down to field goals every time. Way to go defense. For those who didn't watch, with about :40 seconds left in the 4th quarter, it became evident that Nick Saban wanted the game to go into overtime--I don't know enough about football to fully understand why, but regardless, after four quarters of playing their butts off, both teams had only managed to score two field goals resulting in a 6-6 tie.

Alabama had the ball first, ended up trying for a field goal, and their kicker who is surely on unemployment today after a horribly botched game, missed. LSU got it back, ran it for the first three downs, then went for the 3 points and SCORED!!! It was amazing. Alabama fans cried bourbon tears all the way home, and LSU remains on top for another week.

Road trip cuddles. Jack is the big black blob on the left, Ellie is the skeptical blonde on the right.

Segue. Topic change. It has occured to me recently that while I used to feature my adorable puppies here on a regular basis, I talk about them so little now that more recent readers might not even realize that I have the most amazing dogs in the entire universe. Being that I have to come up with something to blog about EVERY DAMN DAY in November, I decided Sundays will be devoted to Angela's best friends.

For those of you not in the know, both Jack and Ellie are dogs of unknown heritage--a special holiday blend, if you will--that I adopted from shelters when I was living in Little Rock, Arkansas. Jack came into my life when he was around 6 months old, and Ellie when she was 4 months old, and I've had Jack for 6 years and Ellie for about 5 1/2. They made the move with me to Washington when I went to live with Colby and instantly ditched me as the coolest person ever and became completely infatuated with their new dad. They still like me just fine, but if it came down to a choice about who they were going to save if we fell down two separate wells... I'm not liking my chances.

So, suffice it to say, deployments are always hard on them. Ellie spent the whole day before Colby left, moving from one pile of suitcases to another, glaring at us warily and Jack still camps out by the front door every day around the time Colby typically comes home from work. Sure, it's hard explaining deployments to kids, but try explaining it to dogs that have a combined understanding of about six words--most of which involve food.

November 05, 2011

I'm working a 12 hour day today, but am getting off just in time to race over to my friend's house and watch the BIGGEST GAME IN FOOTBALL HISTORY!! At least as far as I am concerned. #1 LSU will face off against #2 Alabama and SEC country is abuzz with excitement. I can't even remember feeling this excited when we played in the championship game.

If you find yourself feeling apathetic about this matchup, football in general, or just need a little taste of the excitement to tide (but NOT Crimson Tide) you over until 7 pm CST, check out this amazing trailer video that I've been watching daily for the past two weeks.

November 04, 2011

Down: It has been an incredibly long week since Colby left, and I still have moments where I just want to stop whatever it is I'm doing and throw a good, loud tantrum.Up: We're one week into this and that's one week less to get through.

Down: Colby's internet connection in Overtheristan is complete crap making it impossible for us to carry on a phone conversation over Skype.Up: I finally figured out how to use the Skype app on my cell phone, so we're able to use the chat option like text messaging. It's nice to not feel chained to my computer in order to hear from him.

Down: I left quite possibly the most embarrassing voicemail in my history of embarrassing voicemails for a propsective babysitting client. I managed to 1) say "um" about seventeen times 2) refer to the two children of unknown gender who I would be watching as "her son" 3) sound as though I were about to hang up before launching into a whole new series of ridiculous sentences and 4) forget to say anything along the lines of "goodbye" before hanging up the phone and launching it across the room in sheer terror.Up: She called me back. And I've got three other parent meetings set up for this weekend and early next week, as well as a job that will give me 15 hours over the course of Friday evening and Saturday. Woo!

Down: On my Tuesday run, my knee started to feel twingy around mile two. I kept running, and the pain was gone by the time I got home. But then it started throbbing while I was in the shower, and has been sore ever since. I've been scared to run on it, and tried wearing a brace yesterday, but the brace just hurt even more. The pain has abated, so hopefully this is just a one off incident and I'll be back in business for my run today.Up: My runs have been getting much better and are verging on enjoyable. I've also been working on improving my speed, and am so close to getting my pace under 10 minutes, I can taste it!

Down: It's been about seven years in internet time since the new Facebook was released, and I still hate it. There are so many posts from people I love that I never get to see, and while I used to get tons of hits and interaction on my blog from friends, now I get about 20-30 click throughs a day.Up: I'm spending a lot less time on Facebook these days!

What are your ups and downs this week? I hope the ups are vastly outweighing the downs!

November 03, 2011

I'm dusting off the old Thankful Thursday posts and reusing the idea this November. Last year I said:

Then, it struck me. I am the only one who can choose my attitude. I can choose to sit back and let my annoyance overtake me, complain about my problems, have a miserable week, and rely on someone else to bring me happiness. Or I can dust myself off, acknowledge my sadness, and also acknowledge how much GOOD there is in my life every single day, enjoying each day for what it brings me rather than being angry because of what it does not.

I needed that reminder more than ever this week, and in my very first Thankful Thursday of the year, I want to give thanks for the people who made my life possible. My parents.

I am so lucky to have such supportive parents. I have never, ever in my life had to wonder if they would be there for me when I needed them, and even better, they've always been there even when I didn't realize just how much I needed them.

There are so many examples of this, but just this month, they'll be coming to my house for the week of Thanksgiving, and then, because timing didn't work out for my procedure to be done while they are here, they're coming back one week later, so that I won't have to be alone at my house following my anesthesia. Then, to help me save money and make it possible to visit my best friend and my sister in January and February, they're letting me leave my dogs at their house while I'm home for Christmas, and then my parents are coming BACK to Charleston in February so that my mom can come up to visit my sister in NYC with me while my dad grandpuppysits.

I didn't even have to ask for that--they just offered.

We don't always see eye to eye, and we are different in so many ways, but when it comes right down to it, they are two of the most supportive people in my life, and they have always been my rock. And for that, I am more grateful than words can say!

November 02, 2011

When we last left off in this saga, I had seen a reproductive endocrinologist (RE) for an HSG to make sure all was well with my internal lady plumbing, and he informed us that while my tubes were all clear, there seemed to be something covering about 40% of my uterus--probably polyps or fibroids that will need to be removed. He also had trouble locating as many follicles as he had hoped to find in my ovaries during an internal ultrasound, so he wanted to do a little bit more testing.

I had bloodwork for my FSH and AMH (both hormones that can help determine the quality and quantity of your ovarian reserve--eggs still present in your body and waiting to be released), and while my FSH came back on the high end of normal (you want a low number), my AMH was pretty deplorable, basically confirming what the doctor had suspected after the ultrasound. I've got old lady ovaries.

The typical, healthy woman of my age would have 10-20 follicles at that point in each of her cycles--at my age, I should be closer to twenty. I had eight. And chances are good that the quality of my eggs aren't stellar, meaning that when the winning egg is released every cycle, it's just the frontrunner at the Special Egg Olympics.

Colby also had some retesting done and his analysis came back with the exact same motility and morphology as the first test (poor) and an even lower count. So, basically, we are both defunct, and it is a surprise to exactly no one that we still haven't gotten pregnant after 14 cycles of trying to conceive.

We were desperately hoping that intrauterine insemination (IUI) would be an option for us because it is a fairly non-invasive procedure, not to mention boatloads cheaper than invitro. However, our doctor was very clear with us that we just aren't good candidates for IUI. Due to the process they use to retrieve the sperm and prepare it for insemination, they usually lose about half, and with Colby's low concentration and even lower count of good quality sperm, combined with my geriatric ovaries, the doctor doesn't feel that it would be effective.

We're still mulling over our financial options, but it's going to be terribly expensive just for the procedure, and then another $2000-5000 for medications. I've been reading message boards and blogs about women who have gone through this, and while I'm learning a lot, it's also scaring the crap out of me. It's painful. It's emotionally draining. It puts strains on marriages. And most terrifying of all, it doesn't always work.

I'm trying very hard to stay positive about this. With any luck, come March or April, we'll be starting down a new road that will hopefully lead us to our baby, but I just wish I could know for sure that this was going to work out, that it will all be worth it in the end.

November 01, 2011

Oh my God... HOW IS IT NOVEMBER????? I can't even deal with this year. Obviously, I hope the next four months go by quickly, but at the same time, I feel like time is already whizzing by so quickly that if it goes into even more of a warp mode I'm going to be a dried up old hag tomorrow. (No jokes please, I know I left that one wide open.)

Anyway.

Yesterday WAS Halloween, and I got dressed up and went trick or treating with Pauly D, Obi Wan Kenobi, a Lily Cat, and a VT Lion. It was... pretty cool. There were a few other adults wondering around the shopping center in costume, so I didn't look like a total loon. My favorite family costumes were the Angry Birds (kid was the red one, mom was the blue shotgun one, and dad was the black bomb) and the Wizard of Oz (mom was the Wicked Witch, dad was the Tin Man, kids were Dorothy and the Scarecrow). It was a great time, and as always, I drove home thinking about what I would be next year--I've already got a couple of ideas!

Honestly, I really dislike Halloween in general--I don't like the decorations (Most of them are gross and only loosely Halloween related--a crime scene? Really? Uh, Happy Halloween??), the music is kind of stupid, I don't like opening my door to randos to pass out candy--but it's all worth it in the end, because I LOVE dressing up.

Anyway, another holiday is checked off the list, and I guess I can admit to my blog family that I have been listening to Christmas music since this weekend. I usually wait until November 1st to crank up the holiday tunes, but this year, I decided to give myself a special treat and get started early. I can also admit that I signed up for NaBloPoMo! I haven't done this for a few years, so I'm looking forward to the challenge of posting EVERY BLESSED DAY this month, and hope you won't get too sick of me.

November 30, 2007

The week leading up to the wedding was incredibly intense. The days seemed to last forever as we tried to cram in all of the last minute "stuff" and deal with the various mini crises that just seemed to keep coming up. My dress and the programs were huge sources of stress and incredibly frustrating since all of the problems were caused by incompetent vendors and were completely out of my control. The programs were eventually sorted out, but the dress drama nearly drove me to homicide.

On Friday I had to pick up my dress, borrow a guitar from a friend, and the ever so lovely Carolyn at the airport. I figured it would just take a bit to run in, grab the dress and then scoot over to the airport by the time Carolyn was arriving at 11:30. The first sign that things were not all right in the world was when the tailor brought my dress out from the back room and the bra cups that I'd asked her to sew in were still in their little ziploc bag on the outside of the dress bag. I stayed calm at that point and politely inquired as to why the cups hadn't been sewn into the dress. Her response? I hadn't told her that I needed them sewn in.

I sort of just stared at her in disbelief, recalling how at my fitting on Monday she had watched me take the cups out of their bag, insert them into the bodice and then had her help in adjusting them. I even remembered how we had all laughed because I'd accidentally put the cups on the wrong sides. However, she told me that it could be fixed quickly and she'd sew them in while we waited.

So, back into the fitting room we went, and when my sister took the dress out of the bag it was immediately apparent that it hadn't been pressed like we had been told it would. We tied the laces, inserted the cups and had them pinned in place, and then asked about the pressing. I'm not entirely sure what the tailor was trying to say (her English isn't the greatest), but just just kept saying over and over again that "her machine couldn't do it"--that is press the dress without steam as the French taffeta material required. However, they assured us that they had called a nearby dry cleaner and they would be able to press the dress in one day so we could pick it up the next morning.

I was not at all thrilled with the situation, but didn't see any way that I could force her to press the dress, so we paid her the $179 (!!!!) for the alterations on my dress and my sister's dress and went on our merry way to the recommended dry cleaner. Which was closed. Because it was the Friday after Thanksgiving. So essentially our tailor charged us nearly $200 to take in the bodice of my dress about an inch, sew a hem, insert some bra cups, and then lied to us about checking to make sure that someone could take care of the pressing for us in time.

I wasn't quite livid at this point, but the anger was certainly mounting since it was now 11:15 and Carolyn was expecting us to pick her up in about 30 more minutes. We drove on to another dry cleaner who told us that it could be done, just not at their location. So, giant dress in hand once more, we moved on to the next location where the girls, and I shit you not, LAUGHED IN MY FACE when I told them I needed my dress pressed without steam by the next day.

This is about when my insides combusted and my eyes started seeing red. I didn't speak for fear of what I would say in my current state, and we were forced to accept that we were going to have to iron my dress at home on our own that afternoon and that was just going to have to be good enough.

We did eventually get to the airport to pick up Carolyn, who had been waiting sweetly and patiently for nearly 2 hours, but now we were behind schedule and had to race around town to pick up the guitar and grab some last minute supplies at Target before leaving for the rehearsal at 4:15.

The rehearsal went... well enough. I had a little mini-breakdown before the rehearsal started, a breakdown
that was fueled into blinding fury by the end of the rehearsal. I mentioned before that someone in the wedding party trying to change certain aspects of the ceremony behind my back, but luckily (or unluckily for the certain someone, I suppose) I found out from all of my lovely and attentive spies and was able to switch everything back to the way it was supposed to be when the rehearsal was over.

Because of the course of events earlier in the day, no one at my house had time to get ready for the rehearsal dinner before we left, so after the rehearsal we headed back to my house to change. And when you have four grown women, two children ages seven and three, and three extremely unhelpful men in one house trying to get ready during the most intense and emotionally charged football game of the season, there is just no way to get everyone out the door in 15 minutes or less. Which is how I showed up 45 minutes late for my Rehearsal Dinner, and was horrified to discover that they had held the serving of dinner until we arrived.

Mortified does not even begin to express how I felt as I went through the buffet line and then sat at the head table, far away from my friends and family, trying to find my appetite buried beneath all of the stress and frustration. Fortunately, once the awkwardness of dinner was over, I made it out to the dance floor and had a fabulous time for the rest of the evening with my friends and family.

So, Friday was a bit of a bust, but the wedding weekend came in like a lion and went out like a lamb. Aside from the fact that the weather gods were not on our side, Saturday went absolutely beautifully and if we hit any snags along the way, I never heard about them. However, at this moment in time, a Quizno's Turkey, Bacon, Guacamole sandwich (hold the bacon) is calling my name, and when I hit "save" my NaBloPoMo obligations will be completed successfully. Therefore I'll get to the actual wedding recap on Sunday or Monday and until then you can feast your eyes on this gorgeous slideshow put together by our wedding photographer. (Just promise not to look too closely at the ones featuring my profile, because seriously, hate. My sister got the boobs AND the bone structure!)

November 28, 2007

Okay, I promise that I'll post some pictures tomorrow night when we get back home to the land of laptops and Internet connections. Right now all I have is whatever pictures Carolyn took on her camera, but they're on my computer and I have to post from my phone, so there's a disconnect there.

Anyway, our wedding photographer offered us a free photo shoot in the French Quarter today, so we got to get all gussied up in our wedding finery again and I think we got some really amazing shots. I'll definitely share when we get them from the photographer. Tonight we had a good dinner at Nola. It really couldn't compete with the deliciousness that was Restaurant August, but it definitely was nothing to sneeze at.

Tomorrow we're flying back home and it's back to real life and the old grind, so I'll catch ya on the flip side!

November 27, 2007

I just typed a whole post about our Chef John Besh sighting at Restaurant August and our photo shoot in the French Quarter tomorrow and then Colby bumped my arm and the whole thing vanished. So on that note I'm going to go eat leftover wedding cake and finish watching Cold Case.

November 26, 2007

Okay, well it's not so much time that's the problem so much as lack of a free Internet connection in our hotel room. Thank goodness for my iPhone or NaBloPoMo would be a total bust. Speaking of which, how adorable are Brittany and Caro for hacking into Typepad and posting for me last night after they got home from the reception? And how much of a dork am I for posting first thing on my honeymoon?

Anyway we're in New Orleans now, after an amazingly wonderful wedding day and I can't wait to fill you in in on the details, but for now I'm going to go hang out with my hot husband for the rest of the evening.

November 25, 2007

November 24, 2007

I almost caved and just said a big screw you to NaBloPoMo. I figured it had been a long enough day with enough stress and I really didn't need to stay up for another 15 minutes to type this. But then I realized that as much as it sucked that my dress wasn't totally finished when we went to pick it up at the tailor's and then they wouldn't press it so we spent over an hour driving from dry cleaner to dry cleaner trying unsuccessfully to find someone who could press it by tomorrow, and then discovery that someone was trying to rearrange certain parts of the ceremony at our rehearsal, and then taking far longer to get ready for the dinner than we expected and showing up 45 minutes late only to discover that they'd been HOLDING THE SERVING OF DINNER UNTIL WE ARRIVED (deep breath) it all worked out in the end.

My mom was able to press the dress, the alterations were completed in the end (although they will be hearing from us), my fabulous friend Carolyn successfully made the flight in, the ceremony will be reverting back to the originally scheduled course of events tomorrow when it counts, and although we were late for dinner the dancing and spending time with family and friends was fantastic. Plus my dress and shoes were awesome.

So, on that note, I'm going to wash my face, go to bed, and when I wake up in 9 hours it will be my wedding day.

November 22, 2007

Well, it's the final countdown--no more weekly activity reports after this one. I don't know how all of you feel about that, but I for one am absolutely thrilled. We got almost all of the programs assembled last night without any more issues, Colby and I went to pick up the marriage license today, and I have my bachelorette party tonight and Colby's bachelor party tomorrow night. It's all starting to get pretty darn official and exciting, and all I can think about is how much I want a nap.

It has been such an insanely busy week, but it's funny how it hasn't seemed to fly by at all. The days have stretched out to accomodate everything that we need to get done, and I feel like we're doing exceptionally well with sticking to our schedule. Everyone keeps telling me that my wedding day will be over in the blink of an eye, but if this week is any indication I think it may just seem like The Day That Lasted A Million Years.

Rain is still in the forecast for Saturday, which I'm not thrilled about, but I'm trying to take a page out of Colby's book and just not worry about things that I can't control. I also have been trying to confirm with our hair and makeup girl for the past two weeks and haven't heard back from her. That's another thing I'm trying not to worry about, but it does seem a bit strange for a respected and highly recommended business owner to drop off the face of the earth for two weeks.

However, there's not a whole lot left on the list, and for the sake of brevity I'll just skip to the list of things we still have to finish before the weekend.

Angela & Colby's Wedding WAR 21 Nov 2007

Tasks Still on the To-Do List

Confirm with Makeup Artist/Hairstylist: You know, if she ever decides to call me back

Wrap Bridal Party Gifts: I got started on this last night and it should only take another 30-45 minutes or so to finish this up tomorrow or Friday.

Finish Assembling Programs: I just have about 25 or so of these left to do, and it's just a matter of sticking the brads in the holes that have already been punched.

Start a Wedding Gift Tracker: I just need a spreadsheet to keep track of the gifts we're receiving and will receive. It was easy at first as they trickled in, but we're already starting to have trouble remembering all of the generous and wonderful gifts we've gotten so far.

Finish Framing the Wedding Photos: We have a two frames with spots for 3 5x7s each, and we're putting in the wedding pictures of each of our parents and all of our grandparents. The pictures will be set out on the guestbook table and later hung on the "wedding wall" in our house.

Pack Wedding "Emergency Kit"

Pick Up Wedding Gown, Tuxes, & Guitar: All
done Friday morning, working around picking up Carolyn at the airport
at 11:30 and getting home in time to get ready for the rehearsal which
starts at 4:30.

Drop Off All of the "Stuff" (Guestbook, Pen, Cardbox, Etc.) At White Oak: We found out that we can drop off everything Friday evening, so we just need to inventory our box and provide them a list of where everything goes on Saturday.

Make Final Payment to Makeup Artist/Hairstylist: Provided she actually shows up on Saturday that is.

So, really, it's not too bad--most of the things left to do will just take a brief amount of time to finish, it's just a matter of squeezing them in between spending time with all of my family and friends. Speaking of which, my family is all gathered out in the gazebo, drinking wine and laughing, so I think I'm going to go spend a little while with them before donning my sparkly dress and heading out on the town!

November 20, 2007

It's been a stressful couple of days to say the least. I'd like to also apologize for being a terrible blogland participant this week. I've had a couple of minutes here and there to check email and scan through my reader, but I don't foresee having a lot of opportunity to spend a lot of time reading or commenting. I promise that as soon as all of this madness is over I will be back to my regularly scheduled blog stalking.

Anyway, there have been a long chain of wedding related events that have gone wrong, and things are now back on the upswing, but last night it felt like the end of the world. Of course, in the midst of my inaugural wedding meltdown I completely realized that it was totally ridiculous to be so upset about the fact that Office Depot completely screwed up the printing and cutting of our programs, and even though I did indeed forget my birth certificate at home, it is being overnight and should be here by tomorrow afternoon. So everything should work out, but it's been a long road to get here.

Today we made multiple trips to Office Depot to fix and then re-fix the programs, went for my final dress fitting (it's gorgeous, oh my God, I forgot how much I love it!!), and made a couple of shopping trips to get some bridal party gifts and buy supplies for my emergency wedding kit. Tonight I just have to cut the martini menu, the scavenger hunt cards for the table cameras, and the cards that guests will sign instead of a guest book. After that I'll organize the bridal party gifts and then it will at long last be bedtime.

I've been waiting for bedtime since I dragged my weary body out of bed this morning. It's been such a very, very long time coming...

November 19, 2007

The past couple of days have blown by in a heartbeat, while simultaneously dragging on for years. I did manage to leave a little bit early from work on Friday after a trip to the aquarium where I had the chance to meet some of my favorite Hollywood stars.

Dory and Nemo would like to remind you that fish are friends, not food.Almost as soon as I sat down on the train, I received a phone call from Colby and he led with that aforementioned famous line of his: "Do you want the good news or the bad news?"

The bad news: My computer couldn't be fixed--something about they could solder the broken piece back in place, but the wires would probably never line up properly again so the computer wouldn't actually be able to receive a charge. Of course I promptly lost my shit since all of my wedding files were on the hard drive and hadn't been backed up in a few weeks--weeks in which lots of updating had been done to my files. That night, rather than arriving home early, getting some laundry done and then taking a leisurely trip to Target, we drove up to the closest Apple store where I finally bought my long awaited MacBook with a combination of excitement and frustration. I love my new computer, but I honestly would much rather have waited until after our trip to Italy in April.

Anyway, the purchase was made and we had time for a quick Wal-Mart run before Colby dropped me off in Tacoma for my hair appointment. Once my hair was finished I spent the rest of the night packing and salvaging as much as I could from my wedding files on our external hard drive. I finally dropped into bed around 1:30 in the morning and was up again at 6:00 to finish packing and bring the dogs to the vet where they're boarding until we get home.

It just never gets any easier dropping those little guys off for their long trips at "camp". I was doing fine and they were completely a mess during the car ride, but once their leashes were removed and they were walking away, they're little tails wagging unsuspectingly, I would be lying if I said I didn't mist up more than a little.

The flights were long and tiring, as they all are from the top left corner of the country, and we landed a little after ten o'clock last night. Today I've been spending the day working on wedding checklists and I took a break to have lunch and spend the afternoon with one of my closest friends and bridesmaids. It had been far too long since we'd seen each other, so it was a wonderful visit and then it was back to the wedding grind.

Tonight, the plan is to sit down and assemble the wedding programs and get the bridal party gifts organized. Tomorrow, I have my dress fitting first thing in the morning, before having some files printed at Office Depot, shopping for last minute emergency wedding supplies, and then going to our final meeting at the ceremony and reception venue. So naturally I'm now going to go eat a large slice of triple chocolate cheesecake. I don't want people worrying about whether I'm eating enough during my walk down the aisle!

November 18, 2007

Colby is infamous for that question. Do you want the good news or the bad news first? I've stopped even asking for the good news, since it's almost always something lame that he's made up just to soften the blow of the bad news.

So, the good news is that I made it safely home and remembered just in time that I needed to write a blog, thereby fulfilling my NaBloPoMo obligations. The bad news is that now I'm going to bed and will have to update you on the events of the past couple of days tomorrow.

The Incubator and Old Warrior say hello to blogland, and we're now going to settle in for our long winter naps.

November 16, 2007

Well, I was hoping to have more time for this, unfortunately, the day is slipping through my fingers "Like sand through the hourglass"! We're leaving for a work luncheon in about 40 minutes, then taking a trip to the aquarium. I'm hoping to catch the 3:30 train home, run by Target for some last minute shopping and then throw in a load of laundry, then it's off to my hair appointment at 7, home by 10 and packing until oh dark thirty in the morning.

Tomorrow we're dropping the dogs off at the vet in the morning and then heading to the airport and taking off some time around noon. I'm hoping against hope that I'll have my laptop back and in working order today so I should be able to blog from the airport and keep up with my NaBloPoMo obligations! So, today won't be much, but it's just a few of the vendors and tools that I've used in the wedding planning process and would highly recommend to anyone else out there who may be planning a wedding. I may do a part 2 next Friday, it just depends on how much I can get to today and whether or not I can think of anything else I'd like to share.

I had a lot of trouble finding a ring bearer pillow that wasn't hideous, covered in mounds of tool, or stark white (we wanted ivory). I found Carol through the message boards on The Knot, and was incredibly impressed with how easy she was to work with. I sent her an email letting her know my color scheme and she sent about 15 different swatches of fabric in the mail for me to choose from, as well as beading options. I chose the basic design from a picture on her website, emailed her with my color choices, and just a few weeks later the gorgeous pillow arrived on my doorstep. For all of the customization and time she spends working with you, the price is extremely reasonable also. I think my pillow came to $48, which is certainly comparable to prices of the mass produced monstrosities you can find off the shelf.

I love, love, love my wedding planner. I love it. I will admit that it's rather large, so it's not the easiest thing to haul around, however, it is ring bound, so you can remove pages, add pages, move sections around--really customize it to your own needs. It also makes it easy to take checklists and the lists of questions for vendors with your for your meetings without lugging around the whole binder. There are plenty of pockets for contracts, flyers, saved emails, etc, and there's a whole page of business card slots. The checklists are extremely thorough, and the questions for vendors really cover the spectrum of topics that you need to cover.

Okay, well, technically this is not a vendor that I have used yet--however, I've seen some of the finished products and they are STUNNING. Essentially, you send or drop off your wedding bouquet up to 3 days after the wedding, she dries and presses you flowers, and then turns your bouquet into a gorgeous painting. You can request a specific color scheme or just leave the entire piece completely up to her. I love that this is a way to keep a memento of your wedding day without keeping a dusty, dried out bouquet shoved in the back of your closet. It's something that you can display in your home, use as a conversation piece, and some day pass on as a family heirloom. Oh my God, I kind of want to cry right now just thinking about it. What can I say, I'm a little emotional lately.

November 15, 2007

You know, the one that is completely incapable of opening her mouth without wedding related babble spewing forth uncontrollably. I've been trying to keep quiet at work as much as possible for fear that I will unleash a tirade of nonsense sentences involving flowers, tipping rules, dress fittings, and gift etiquette. It's like I've come down with an incurable case of Wedding Tourettes.

And the thing is, there really is so much more to talk about. Like I've been thinking a lot about religion and my beliefs lately, largely inspired by Maggie's serial about her relationship with Catholicism. And I've had this entry floating around in my head for over a week now about all of the doubts and questions that I have and wondering how one goes about finding a church, and if it's bad to want to go to church just to make friends. But every time I sit down to write it I get distracted by my photo list or suddenly remember something that needs to be added to my wedding time line.

I want to write about the dogs and how insanely frustrating it is that for the past few months they've made it their sole mission in life to eat the entire contents of our house, yet I still really, really want another puppy. And then I think oh my God, could that possibly be my biological clock suddenly starting to tick and think marriage, hmm, must be baby time! But no, right? Because Colby and I are in harmonious accord about the fact that we want to wait another 4 or 5 years before we even think about kids. So maybe I really do just want a puppy? And how can we keep the dogs from eating everything in our house?

I've also got a lot to say about the Seattle transit system, which really isn't all that fascinating, so maybe that's why I haven't written about it. But seriously, the parking situation at the train stations is absolute crap which led to a parking ticket which I have now lost and need to pay, but don't know how, and then they just randomly decided to cancel my train home without saying anything on Monday because freaking Monday Night Football was in town. My God Seattle, get your shit together!

So, anyway, the long and short of it is that I just can't bring myself to bore you with another post about the wedding, because you've all been so nice about it and I want you to keep being nice and excited for me, and not like, for the love of all that is good and holy, please shut UP about the WEDDING!

Instead, I'll show you the boots that I bought after all of the wonderful winter shoe advice I received from y'all on Tuesday. Some people would have thought to themselves, huh, good idea, I should buy a pair of boots! I thought to myself, huh, good idea, I should buy three pairs of boots! So I did.