Welcome to my blog created on Mother's Day 2010, after receiving a Stage3 breast cancer diagnosis. I posted daily for one year through "cancer camp." If you are a new member of the Sisterhood of Cancerous Breasts, I bow to you Sister, you may want to read from the beginning. If you are already a Follower, thank you Dear Reader, for your sweet company. Come in, make yourself comfy, and I will tell you a story. with love and faith, Writergirldreams

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Butterfly

Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
— Nathaniel Hawthorne

That elusive butterfly landed on me when my sweet friend Midge (otherwise known as Barbie's best friend) came into my life.

Midge was just here visiting for a few days, she lives far away now. I so miss her daily presence in my life, especially now. She headed back home today. I had a major crying jag after she left. I love her so.

We were brave when we said our goodbye, we pretended that it didn't hurt like hell, but we both know it did. I wanted to chase after her car as she drove away up my street, but I didn't. I just came back in the house and got in my bed and cried like a baby.

I love you Midge.

I miss having you right in my backyard.

Remember all our crying jags over Mexican food? We would pour out our souls as we slurped mexican shrimp cocktails with lots of saltines and Tapatio. Sometimes we would cry into our big steaming bowls of Caldo de Camarón. I know those waitresses must have always thought to themselves "Aquí viene esos locos gritando niñas blancas de nuevo." Here comes those crazy crying white girls again.

There is some poem about the people you encounter in your life, some come for a reason, some for a season, some stay. Something like that.

Midge is one of those that stayed. The feeling is mutual.

We talk on the phone. We whine. We cry. We talk about the day to day stuff. Girl stuff. Boy stuff. We talk about the creative process; Midge is an incredible artist.

Her raw talent inspires me; her tenderness knocks me off my feet.

I'm not as brave as you think I am Midge. You always think I am the brave one of us. It's not true. I just let you think that cause I'm a better liar than you.

There are a lot of people I intend to talk about in my blog. Oh, and if you're wondering, yeah, I don't use anyone's real name. I don't want to compromise their privacy. I don't want to compromise my candor. There are other people in my life who I will need and want to talk about here.

Today's is Midge's day.

I love you girl. My sweet sweet girlfriend. More than this humble attempt to tell you.

I wrote a song for Midge. It's called Butterfly.

Butterfly.
This is your lullaby.
Hush now.
Don't be afraid.

Butterfly.
This is your lullaby.
Sleep now.
Tomorrow you'll fly.

Time to use wings you've been given.
Soar on the wind towards heaven.
Don't doubt yourself,
It's all there in your hand.

Just close your eyes and dream it.
Open wide and be it.
I'll always be here,
If you need a place to land.

Butterfly.
This is your lullaby.
Dream now.
Tomorrow you'll fly.

Butterfly.
This is your lullaby.
Good night.

Midge? One last thing.

"If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever." Winnie the Pooh"

ACS Relay for Life, Vallejo

When problems are seen as opportunities, adversity seen as a good education, and the belief that every single thing that happens in your life is connected to a larger unfolding good, no more problems, just transformation, embracing this fragile glorious imperfect life where every step, even the wrong step, is on the path and leads to growth and grace. So chill baby. You got this. writergirldreams