Mixed girls make it hard for us real black girls. Agree or disgree?

I'm just being honest here. I'm starting to think that mixed black and ____ (white, Asian, Hispanic, whatever) raced girls make it hard for a lot of guys to appreciate the looks of us full blooded black girls and find us exotic. Now, some person out there is going to say "We are all mixed with something so there's no difference." There is a difference. There's a difference between a black person who's great great grandmother is white and someone who's mother is directly white. You can see the difference in their looks. Therefore, there is a difference. So save your breath. I just feel like Afro features that are not whitened up get unappreciated and sometimes totally degraded and to be totally honest, it's annoying that mixed girls get praised for being closer to white. I'm tired of it. It sucks when a guy says he likes black girls as long as she's mixed looking. That's so offensive and disheartening and I'm tired of feeling like just because a girl is mixed even if she's a skanky bitch with no loyalty and a sh*tty personality, she'll get more male attention because she may have lighter skin, curly hair, and possibly colored eyes. I'm just so irritated. Can any other black women out there relate to what I'm talking about? What is your opinion on this topic?

Updates:

and before some small minded, idiotic person comes up here claiming I'm just jealous, no I am not. I love my rich skin color and my dark eyes. I love the tiny spiral curl texture of my hair. Just being 100% honest, it's hard to embrace and fully accept these things when people are constantly saying that something else is more beautiful and more desirable :(

Most Helpful Girl

i have heard the "i like black girls as long as they looked mixed or they're light skinned" line a couple times before and it's pretty sad. but as I got a little older and wiser (lol), in retrospect, why would you even want to be with a guy who believes things like this?

what I'm saying is there will be guys who will find you physically attractive for what you are. you don't want a guy that's like "oh well I guess you're good looking for a dark skinned black girl..."

basically, I wouldn't worry about it too much. another thing though is attractive girls get hit on regardless of their race so I wouldn't necessarily say a mixed girl would beat a black girl if they were both pretty. it's all about preferences at the end of the day.

i think I'm good looking and if I find a guy that thinks so as well and can appreciate me for me, then I'm happy!

Thanks for just coming here and actually answering the question instead of judging with me and trying to argue with me :) What you said is so honest. You look more like me so I feel like you can relate :) You're right. It just sucks because there are some really cute guys out there and I'm sure they have great potential but I feel like some of them would prefer a mixed looking chick. And yes, I do get hit on a lot, but I don't know I just can't help but get insecure sometimes and wonder...

"Well what if he sees a mixed girl after he dates me and compares her looks to mine, thinking that she's way prettier just because she's mixed looking." or "What if he dated a mixed chick and thinks my beauty will never amount to hers" Honestly, it's just very hurtful and it really upsets me a lot. So many people don't understand and they just want to get defensive but there is definitely truth to what I've said here.

i know what you mean about the guys you believe have potential but they can't get over the color of someone's skin. and that's the only thing it is, SKIN COLOR. in that case, you snub the guy and move on to the next. there's someone out there for ya!

Hi! i know this question is like so old, but i wanted to say that no matter what skin tone you are, embrace it. and if someone doesn't like u cause of it, then thats there problem. also i think all colors of black are beautiful. and no, mixed girls dont make it easier for darker skinned blacks, but you just need to be really confident. stay gorgous! :)

What Guys Said 4

To a degree probably yes... in America in particular which I can only assume is where you are from but I still believe its also down to personal preference. I find girls of every race attractive and that includes mixed girls but I would say I am mostly drawn to black girls more often than not. The term exotic means someone different from the norm. A black girl would never be exotic in Africa, a white person to Europe or an Asian person to Asia but I think black girls look good and I guess that's all that matters to me (and no I am not only into black girls that look as close to whtie as possible, I mean I might aswell just date a white girl than?)

Just don't get yourself down about that and stop attaching yourself so much to something you had absolutely no control over... no one had any say in the race they were born. It puzzles me how some people feel such a need to affiliate themselves with someone from their own race

Those guys aren't worth your time, which state do you live it; I'm assumeing you're American.

I've noticed that some black guys really miss treat black girls, I don't know why. but that isn't the case with all black guys, not even most. I'd say if you're not getting the attention you'd like to get from your race, go else were. I am black as well, both my parents are from the Carribean.

I don't think you should waste your time sifting through men with poor character to find one you like, it is your life and you should be happy.

I date outside the race all the time, I really don't have a racial preference, but I don't like specific personalities.

I think many mixed people in general are more attractive than pure blooded anything. Genetic diversity is scientifically proven to be more healthy than genetically similarity, so I suppose it's a natural attraction towards people who are not quite 100% white or black. I am thinking of people I have been attracted to and they are usually half white or half hispanic, half Asian etc.

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What Girls Said 14

Well maybe they just don't like you and make up excuses. But to be honest you sound bitter. Birracial women don't make it harder it's actually scientifically proven that men are usually attracted to the fairer women and women to the darker guys.(but that was just in a study with hundreds of people to find a pattern) But anyway, most don't have bad attitudes and you seem to be spurned or something of that sort. Just relax, take a breath, and chill. Someone who doesn't base who they want to date on skin pigment will find you.

Best wishes and hope you get away from jerks who would have the audacity to say that to you.

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Asker

I'm not making up exscuses lol I'm not bitter. I'm just human. I'm just a regular female who's been scathed by the bullsh*t of society and is being 100% open and honest about her feelings. I know I am not the only black woman who feels this way, has felt this way and will feel this way. Scientically proven? While you're an ignorante, dumb bitch. No dumb ass, it's like that because Europeans WHITES colonized countries all over the world and brainwashed people to believe that the look of...

I think that you may have a point however this whole thing doesn't just happen in the black community. It's everywhere. I'm egyptian (which is usually considered white or middle eastern) and I'm usually attracted to black guys. Most of the time I realize, they are not all that attracted to me because I'm not black enough. (Yes, legitimately used that as an excuse?) But the white guys that I do find attractive are usually weird about me because I'm not white I'm middle eastern. Haha, don't get me started on latino men...

Honestly sometimes I wish I was black because I find that skin tone to be so rich and pretty. But when I really think about it I wouldn't want to be anybody else. I know one day I'll find someone who will appreciate my appearance AND my personality and will love me for me and I know one day you will too. :)

I'm sure it can be hard, but look at it this way...any guy that has that viewpoint is in a relationship for the wrong reasons. I wouldn't want his superficial attitude in my life anyway! I'm glad you appreciate yourself for who you are. If you embrace your race you will find confidence in everyday life, and I'm sure all the boys will want to be around your energy. Good luck!

Um. And just how am I supposed to help being mixed? We don't make it hard for you, you make it hard for you. Maybe if you had a better mindset and didn't think of me so highly and of yourself any less, you wouldn't see a problem. I can not help the way I look. Just like you can't help the way you look. If you think I'm any better than you, then I'm sorry. I can't help you. That's YOUR mindset. Only you can change it. Don't blame your mindset on my genes.

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Asker

Oh bitch please. Don't be another stuck up mixed girls. I don't think highly of YOU simply because you are mixed. I don't even know wtf you look like; you could be fat and plain ooking for al I know.

WOW! I'm mixed too and you're gonna call us another stuck up mixed girl. It's not being stuck up it called being proud of who you , which apparently you're not proud of yourself, because you're too busy being jealous of us "stuck up mixed girls."

Honestly, you can't blame them. That is what we have been taught to believe for centuries. That the more white your features are the better. Just think about back then when slavery was still a thing. The white slave owners would put the lighter "more attractive (in the european standard)" slaves ahead of the darker ones. But there are a lot of problems with the black community. They need to get over these ideas that the white people planted in their head. I'm mixed, but honestly I think there is something more pure and beautiful about a woman who is just black. I envy you. I hate being mixed and people treating me like I'm some kind of fetish. People telling me that I'm exotic or they have some kind of stereotype about me. I think fully black women should get more credit than they do. They have some of the most beautiful brown skin and features. It is a shame that more people don't recognize it.

Sorry if this is late but I'm mixed and to be 100% honest, I'd rather be either black or white. As much as people say men like mixed girls, we have more problems than that. Every day, people yell at me when I call my self black and say "You're not black!" Then they will yell at me when I say I'm white.

I always thought my mother, a black women, was much more beautiful than me. Black women are beautiful and I envy you, I'm not going to lie. Sorry I kinda beat around the bush by hey

Did something happen that makes you hate mixed women so bad? I'm sure you get stuck up mixed girls but I'm also sure you get stuck up people from every race. You can't just generalize us. I could easily say that all Black women are rude or have bitchy attitudes and hate us for being a little lighter. Try to take it person by person. You can't blame mixed girls cause a few guys were jerks to you. Hate on the guys.

I live in Birmingham, Al. In the south, black guys are known for that kind of attitude, but I can honestly say, I have never experienced it myself. I'm brown skin, long hair, mixed grandma on dad's side, mixed granddad on mom's side, but I'm black and proud all day long.

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Anonymous

Listen, I might be a mixed looking black woman, but does it occur to you, that no matter what shade of color a black woman is, she will never most likely find the man she is looking for, simply because most men stereotype us all as being uglier, fatter,more masculine,less educated and refined than other races in general?

I get where you are coming from, but it's a problem for all of us single black women no matter our shade.We can look like Alicia Keyes and still be considered slightly less attractive bigger and dumber than another race of woman, simply because the society as a whole loves to bash and blame black women for everything. If not we are seen as servants to white people. We are expected to braid everyone hair, cook for everyone and serve everyone.

We know we are usually the last to be picked by the best suitors or alpha males so we often are doomed to a life of loneliness,poverty and depression. We are usually the ones people call loud mouth even though others are just as loud but see if a white girl is loud, she's just called "outspoken" "smart" etc... But we are called loud for speaking our minds.

So while I feel ya sis, I have to say, this is not only your problem, but as a black woman living in the south I am considered black and I might as well be as dark as you out here because most white people don't distinguish the two between mixed black and full blooded black. They just thinkwe are from different tribes, hang in there you will find the one.

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Anonymous

I use to think that but I wouldn't want to be them because they have a hard time too with being confused on which race they're suppose to look like or act/dress and being accepted

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Anonymous

It's not mixed girls fault, its the media. Guys don't appreciate full black girls because of the media. Follow me on this one: watch rap videos from the 80s, 90s and early 2000s. notice how there were black women of all shades featured? now look at the videos now and notice how the girls are either nonblack or mixed, very rarely an actual sista. and compare and correlate the attitudes black men of different age groups have with black women. it isn't uncommon to hear black boys younger than 20 talk sh*t about black girls but look at the videos they grew up with? mixed girls have ALWAYS existed, mixed race isn't anything new. its just now the media hypes them up more than ever before so small minded guys who can't think for themselves follow it. now I'm not saying every guy who isn't attracted to black girls is following the media but a lot of them are. you can take a picture of a pretty light skin girl and guys will fawn over it, but photoshop the girls skin 4 shades darker and she's suddenly less pretty. yeah, that's brainwashing. its not mixed girls fault all they are doing is existing, its these guys out here.

expand your options from just african American black men to black men of all nationalities. he doesn't have to be AA, he can be west indian or something. if you ever watch dancehall/reggae videos made by west indian men, notice how they use black looking black women in their videos. a lot of AA guys are just lost..try some caribbeans and others they don't have that attitude to the extent a lot of aa men do. sorry to say this because I am half aa on my daddy's side but its true! many of their mentalities are all f***ed up and it ain't getting no better

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Asker

I know it's not the mixed girl's fault. I don't need a lecture on that

i understand completely, I am of mix decent, I have wavy hair, light skin, hazel eyes. etc. and yes men are drawn to me more than my full black friends. because they find my look unique. my cousin who is dark skinned also, who in my opinion is prettier than me is ignored once I get into a room, and she would sometimes be ignored because I am getting the attention. I am engaged to be married man recently found out how shockingly prejudice my husband was. he is black. he claimed he hates black vagina. black nipples etc. I asked him what if I had those features, he said I would have to bleach them, though he was joking while he said that I was furious. point is black women are the same s mixed decent folks and if men are too dumb to choose a gud black girl over a skanky light skinned one (not all are skanky, I was a virgin till marriage) his loss!

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Asker

sorry, but he probably wouldn't even looked at you twice if you were dark skinned. that's how ignorant he sounds. it's okay though , most black men of this era are trash anyway.

well I'm mixed (dad is black, mom is white). You need to focus on yourself and not measure your looks compared to other people. Everyone has insecurities like these even "exotic, curly haired, light eyed" mixed girls. and you may also want to re-evaluate the kind of men you are talking to. Any person who tells you that you are not attractive based on your "African American" looks, needs to be dropped immediately. I'm also curious as to what kind of guys you are into. It may be 2011, but peoples attitudes about race haven't changed all that much. as long as you know your beautiful and your confident, trust the RIGHT man will come to you. Just give it time and stop talking to jerks...

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Asker

First of all, thank you for your kind words because this post came from a painful place. Not a jealous place. Yeah, my words are angry but that's because I'm hurt. I realize that biracial girls aren't the issue, the issue is that black features that are not whittened up are viewed by many as less than. Anyway, I don't really have a particular type of guy I like. I care most about personality. I'm most attracted to chocolaty black men or like a medium charamel tone of black guys but honestly...

Most of the black men of this era suck. Not all of them, but I'm not going to search for a good one. I kinda feel like it's like searching for a needle in a haystack. Most of them are in jail, too busy trying to embody a stereotype, ignorant, they praise white women or biracial or multiracial women and it's just too much. Recently, I've dated an Arab guy, a white, black, and Native American guy with gorgeous green eyes, a half Filipinio/half Mexican guy, and two Mexican guys.

These days I tend to be drawn towards multiracial guys or biracial guys who are mixed with black and white because it seems like black guys want light skinned girls and girls who aren't black and I'm worried that white guys would just want to use me as an experiment. I like foreign guys. They seem to think I'm exotic looking and appreciate my looks

well in my school most people are white, but any black and white girls we have are always more popluar (I don't know why) but there was one completly black girl who graduated last year, and she was like loved by everyone. She always got guys hitting on her more then the halfies. I think its more of the way you own your color. She wasn't anyone super beatiful, but she was very pretty, and her confidence just made her become that girl that every guy wanted. (by the way I'm white haha) O and this doesn't have anything to do with your question but I'm just throwing it out there, I think full black guys are like super hot, mixed guys on the other hand do nothing for me lol. A few of my friends agree with me on that point. Hmmmm how socitety works, fasinaticing isn't it? What's not as desirerable in women to men, is more wanted in men to women...interesting...anyways yea that's my answer ha ha :)

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Asker

thanks for the encouragin words. I know this post is harsh but, it genuinely hurts very badly to feel rejected for something you can't help ya know? It's frustrating. It's already bad enough that most black men degrade and reject a black woman who is not light skinned and mixed looking now I'm just starting to feel like we get it from every race and it's so upsetting and hurtful. It makes me wanna cry. but yeah, thank you so much for your answer

your welcome :) and no I don't think its harsh, just truthful. when you think about it,its like the same for white people. No guy wants the white girl, they want the tan girl. I never really thought of how it applys to both races though. its just reversed. and the other funny thing is I remeber my mom saying how when she went to school the black guys wanted the lighter/white girls. I still don't understand that.Times haven't changed in some ways I guess. But anyways just own your skin tone! :)

Yeah...it is funny how that works out. I have been learning to love my skin tone and appreaciate the rich color of it, but I don't know I saw something today that just set me back and made me feel bad :(