Romance novels were also penalized because most of them fall into the mass-market paperback category. The Romance Writers of America, which boasts about 10,000 members, teamed up with several other genre-specific associations to issue a
joint statement
condemning the
Times’s
“tremendous mistake,” and predicting that the removals would ultimately “make the lists less relevant to authors and readers, as well as the entire publishing and library community.”

It’s difficult to say how much the Best Sellers list changes impacted sales, but the numbers don’t look good. Sales are hurting for several of the eliminated categories as of April 2017, with graphic novels 5 percent down in sales relative to this period last year, romance sales down 10 percent, and mass market sales down 6 percent, according to the NPD Group (formerly Nielsen Bookscan).

“I think it’s going to absolutely have a negative effect on, particularly, the mass market,” said Steven Zacharius, CEO of Kensington Books, a publishing house whose imprints boast a number of of New York Times best selling authors including Fern Michaels, one of the most recognizable names in romance.

Mass market books, the smaller 4-inch-by-7-inch genre books typically sold in drug stores, used to be a
eccoOFFROAD Walking sandals brandy YxU3Xx
before the introduction of e-books. “I think that’s the most important market that they canceled, because that’s where most new authors start their career,” Zacharius said.

An executive of a publishing press who requested anonymity lamented the harmful effect the Best Sellers change would have on independent authors. “If you’re able to keep these independent authors off of best sellers lists, the acquisition price that a
big five publisher
may be willing to pay would be substantially less than someone who’s achieved
New York Times
or #1
New York Times
best selling status,” the executive said.

Demand has surfaced for alternative lists to replace the Gray Lady’s, but none have yet succeeded.

Can
@TeenVogue
make an alternative to the
@nytimes
best seller list that will include all the recently cut children's categories?

Publisher’s Weekly already
puts out a list
, which includes several of the categories removed from
Times
list.
USA Today
and the
L.A. Times
also publish well-known lists, but none have achieved the clout of the
New York Times
. Amazon also has lists available on its site for
top-selling books
, but those, of course, only measure the books sold on Amazon, leaving a wide swathe of books purchased elsewhere unaccounted for. Additionally, an editor within Penguin Random House told
The Outline
that the lists available on Amazon are oftentimes “too granular” to appeal to the masses, who perchance aren’t looking in
“Religious and Liturgical Dramas Plays”
or
“Herb, Spice Condiment Cooking”
for their next read.

From , Rogers testifying before the United States Senate.

But where Rogers really influenced me was in forging a relationship with myself. In addition to a tendency to be hyperkinetic, children’s TV programming often (still) focuses on social interactions and goals. It tells kids how they should function and deal with others (e.g., sharing, politeness, chores). It’s future-oriented. Rogers covered these topics in oblique ways, leading by example instead of formally teaching or preaching, and focused more on feelings, how kids should accept and deal with themselves in the present. “I feel that if we in public television can only make it clear that feelings are mentionable and manageable, we will have done a great service for mental health,” says Rogers in his David and Goliath–esque (and ultimately successful)
plea to the US Senate
for public television funding in 1969. His goal was to help children learn how to sit in their emotions — being instead of becoming.

Rogers was impressive in his ability to make each individual viewer feel special. We each felt like he was ours, and he wanted us to feel that way. He’d look straight down the barrel of the camera, talking to you. “When I look at the camera, I think of one person. Not any specific person, but one person. It’s very, very personal,” Rogers says in Neville’s documentary. He considered the space between the screen and viewer
“holy ground”
and chose to have children on the program sparingly, to avoid viewers feeling jealous or competition for his attention. As a child, this kind of undivided focus made me feel valued and, in turn, helped me value myself.

My family moved a lot when I was growing up — I bounced between four different elementary schools — and I was an uncommonly quiet kid who never made many friends at any of them. My recess breaks were often spent sitting on a bench, reading or drawing, while classmates ran around the courtyard, playing with one another. But at the time, I felt fine, content, well-rooted. And I really do believe my young self-assuredness stemmed at least in part from being reminded, again and again, that I was both unique and loved.

Every day that I watched
Mister Rogers
, he would sign off with the same words: “You’ve made this day a special day, by just your being you. There’s no person in the whole world like you, and I like you just the way you are.” In the lexicon of self-care, affirmations are private — messages from yourself, to yourself. But Rogers’ farewell provided a template, words to revisit in moments of reflection. And like any affirmation, their positive effects through daily repetition were cumulative. Rogers was said to consider his show “tending soil,” and it helped me eventually blossom into someone still shy, but more cordial — and always still me.

Rogers with François Scarborough Clemmons in .

Rogers’ positive influence reaches beyond his target demographic, and I still turn to him for consolation or assurance as an adult. And while I admit there’s comfort in his familiarity, it’s more than that. (Otherwise I’d be equally soothed by reruns of
Romper Room
.) For one, Rogers was happy to take his time — it’s mentioned in the film how he once sat in silence with an egg timer to show how long a minute is — and focus on the task or moment at hand. He valued airtime in a way that remains wholly unconventional, particularly in kids programming; he understood that the jamming of “content” or activity into every opportune moment wasn’t necessarily making the most of that opportunity. And as more adults and businesses see the value in
mindfulness over multitasking
, it seems Rogers had long been onto something as he encouraged viewers to calm down, be present, and take care of themselves.

you lost capacity to relate to unsuitable men which is actually a very good news. and we keep meeting EUMs because we’re not there yet in our heads and continue to attract old type of guys but whom we can recognise very quickly now. so, good news, too. keep working on your perceived responsibility for other people’s feelings, i used to feel the same, too.

Hi Heather and Mephista. I am in the exactly same situation as you, 50 y.o, divorced for 7 years and struggling with EUs. My last relationship lasted 2.5 years and was with an EU/AC. He used to manipulate and abuse me in several ways, until the day I broke up with him (last May) and since that time I am not attracted to any man. Like for you Mephista, don’t feel a spark of attraction to, suitable or unsuitable men, really bother me too. The funny thing is that, since I was 13 y.o., I don’t remember a single day I was not “in love” with someone. Yes, I was addicted to love. I know the EU/AC was my epiphany relationship and after him I am not going to accept to be treated as I was, but I have some doubts. Do you think we attract men like them? Or all women can be a target of a EU, but women with good self-esteem do not accept poor treatment and just move on? Also, don’t you think that be EU is a more prevalent issue nowadays? When I was younger I think relate was easier.

Great post, I can completely relate. I wish you could erase your sub-concious thoughts. I have numerous ideas on relationships that seep in to my concious…which explains why I get in to unavailable “relationships”.

I honestly never thought about it like this before… Until now, I have been happy to accept that the reason I’ve never had a single healthy, serious relationship in my adult life (almost 32) was due to the fact that there are more idiot men in the world than good ones – and I was unlucky enough to be wading through the bad.

Now I see, that perhaps certain childhood experiences may have contributed to this: I’ve never known my biological father, my step dad was an aggressive bully, my brother was shipped off to Jamaica to live with grandparents when I was 5 (he was 13), and most of the men in my family seem to think its the norm to spread seed among as many women as possible and not be responsible for their offspring and/or women.

Then there’s the women in my family – every single one of them (whether they married or not) have all ended up being single mothers (with the exception of my mum who married my step dad after being a single mum for many years). Their relationships have often been verbally, physically, mentally abusive – with partners who always seem to have one foot out the door.

I think deep down inside, having never seen what a healthy, loving relationship looks like – I just accepted that relationships were meant to be volatile and traumatic. Obviously, I always wanted to have the fairy tale romance (who doesn’t?), but I guess I saw the reality for people within my family/culture and accepted it as the ‘norm’. The love/relationship that I desired only existed in books, movies and my imagination.

Perhaps that explains the deep rooted fear and anxiety I feel when I’m dating… Knowing that the good times are only fleeting, and always bracing myself for the fall out – which usually happens within the first 3-4 months. I’d always chalk this up to me meeting another bad apple, but now I see that I was sabotaging my own happiness. I’d given up on the possibility of finding real love before I had a chance to actually give it a chance.

I’ve been so scared of ending up like all the other women in my family (broken, raising kids alone, resentful and cold), that I guess it was easier to date EUMs with the foresight that it was never going to last anyways – thus preventing me from ever really connecting with a man, never showing vulnerability and never taking the relationship to the next level.

I can’t take all the responsibility… on the odd occasion where I did try to let myself go and open up to a guy I liked, they turned out to be arseholes which only served to diminish my trust for men even more.

I can’t change this overnight, but I am making a concerted effort to be more open to love – especially now I’m dating a guy who’s really surprised me in the most unexpected ways over the last 3 months. He makes me feel like giving it a chance might not be such a bad idea.

Miami University, Oxford Ohio

Nationally recognized
as one of the most outstanding undergraduate institutions, Miami University is a public university located in Oxford, Ohio. With a student body of nearly 19,000, Miami effectively combines a wide range of
strong academic programs with faculty who love to teach
and the
personal attention
ordinarily found only at much smaller institutions.

Hamilton Regional Campus

A compact, friendly, commuter campus, Miami Hamilton offers
bachelor's degrees, associate degrees, and beginning coursework for most four-year degrees.
Small class sizes, on-site child care, and flexible scheduling make Miami Hamilton attractive to students at all stages of life and career.

Voice of America Learning Center

Located midway between Cincinnati and Dayton along I-75, the Voice of America Learning Center (VOALC) offers undergraduate and graduate courses and programs drawn from Miami's Regional and Oxford campuses.
Home to Miami's MBA program
, the Learning Center provides ready access to graduate programs for area educators and
courses leading to the BIS degree for undergraduates.

John E. Dolibois European Center, Luxembourg

One of Miami's
oldest continuous study abroad programs
, the Miami University John E. Dolibois Center (MUDEC) in Luxembourg offers students the opportunity to enroll in
Miami classes taught by European-based and Ohio-based Miami faculty
. Students enjoy a unique combination of
first-class academics
, engagement in the local community, and various
faculty-guided and independent travel opportunities
.

Oxford

Miami University, Oxford Ohio

Nationally recognized
as one of the most outstanding undergraduate institutions, Miami University is a public university located in Oxford, Ohio. With a student body of nearly 19,000, Miami effectively combines a wide range of
strong academic programs with faculty who love to teach
and the
personal attention
ordinarily found only at much smaller institutions.

Hamilton

Hamilton Regional Campus

A compact, friendly, commuter campus, Miami Hamilton offers
bachelor's degrees, associate degrees, and beginning coursework for most four-year degrees.
Small class sizes, on-site child care, and flexible scheduling make Miami Hamilton attractive to students at all stages of life and career.

West Chester

Voice of America Learning Center

Located midway between Cincinnati and Dayton along I-75, the Voice of America Learning Center (VOALC) offers undergraduate and graduate courses and programs drawn from Miami's Regional and Oxford campuses.
Home to Miami's MBA program
, the Learning Center provides ready access to graduate programs for area educators and
courses leading to the BIS degree for undergraduates.

Luxembourg

John E. Dolibois European Center, Luxembourg

One of Miami's
oldest continuous study abroad programs
, the Miami University John E. Dolibois Center (MUDEC) in Luxembourg offers students the opportunity to enroll in
Miami classes taught by European-based and Ohio-based Miami faculty
. Students enjoy a unique combination of
first-class academics
, engagement in the local community, and various
faculty-guided and independent travel opportunities
.