Weak Little Man Asks For Help

LINCOLN, NE—Apparently too weak and feckless to execute the task on his own, utterly pitiable little sales associate Nick Gardocki, 27, pathetically asked his coworkers for help on a project Friday afternoon, sources confirmed. “If one of you guys are free, I could really use a hand here,” said the poor excuse of a man, who, much like a helpless child, essentially admitted he was incapable of handling a problem on his own, thus forever branding himself as a fragile and powerless human. “I’d really appreciate it, thanks.” At press time, the miserable little invertebrate watched as a real man, one who does not require the help of others, assisted him.