Splatoon Review

PBG asks Jeff if he wants to 'Sploon'. Jeff appears creeped out by this odd choice of words, and backs out of the room.

PBG is reviewing Splatoon, and starts by making his character. He usually creates male characters because he is one (although the notation says that it is up for debate). However, this time he goes with the girl, because she is cute and has vampire teeth, like PBG does! He calls himself a freak, and hurts his own feelings.

He gets into a tutorial stage, and uses the ink to do everything, spraying ink and always spraying more ink! PBG has seen this game compared to Call of Duty, and PBG wants everyone to drop comparing two things that are nothing alike! PBG thought that people comparing Animal Crossing to Tomodachi Life made no sense!

After the tutorial, PBG gets to Inkopolis (and gets the name wrong), the central hub. PBG talks about the other settings that he didn't try out because he doesn't have friends, and doesn't want to open the boxes of amiibos he has. He stares at the girls in the windows. He introduces to the creepy old man who does single player missions, and isn't fresh enough to unlock any new weapons.

He gets into the 4 v 4 online matches. He can't stress enough that the point is not to kill the opposition, but to cover the ground with as much ink as possible. There was one match where he got 9 kills and 0 deaths by protecting one corner of the map. He ambushed and killed anyone who came his way, and he still lost.

It's better to take an ambush approach rather than just playing defensively or going for kills. The only benefit to killing a player is to slow down opponents to cover more space with your own ink while they respawn.

The matches are short and sweet. PBG thought the game was interesting when it was announced, but wasn't sure if it had enough potential. Now after playing it, he believes that it does. It's colorful, unique, charming and fun. He is sold on this game.

He gets a water gun and goes outside only to be attacked with ink, as he shoots ink around. He ends up on the ground completely covered in ink.