Dear E. Jean: I have a horrific aversion to strip clubs. My feelings are so strong that even discussing this with my boyfriend brings me to tears. He does not frequent these places, but what bothers me is that he may be forced to attend one as a rite of passage before a future wedding in "honor" of friends' vows-to-be.

I cannot condone it! But I certainly don't want to seem like the type of woman who forbids her husband or boyfriend from doing anything. We've been together three years, and I'm not sure he'd even respect my wishes if I asked him not to go.

I can't draw a line regarding his behavior without being judged myself. I'm also not sure two people can stay monogamous and attracted to each other forever. My friends are all married now or engaged—and the fact that these clubs exist confirms my doubts. Tell me my feminist feelings aren't too unrealistic here.

What prompts this letter? During a casual dinner with three other couples, the guys repeatedly implored my boyfriend to go with them to a strip club. He did not acquiesce, as I was sitting next to him. But the conversation lasted 20 minutes! And it continued back at the friends' apartment. Nearing tears, I had to ask everyone to please stop talking about it.

Is this the new dinner conversation? Why was no one else bothered by it? Why did the gentlemen decide to have this conversation while I was sitting there? It destroyed the night for me, and for days afterward I could barely talk. I'm not sure I could walk down the aisle knowing that my fiancé had been to a strip club the night before!—My Feelings Are This Strong

Miss Strong: Damn, girl. Wow! I don't know where to start. I've never received a letter from a lady who disliked naked women with such a flaming passion. Heck, I am delighted that you didn't complain about girls loosening their veils in the marketplace and displaying their bangs.

So help me get my brain around this: You're telling Auntie Eeee that you will refuse to "walk down the aisle" if your boyfriend looks at a stripper the night before your wedding? Correct? Now let me ask you a question: Has the lad proposed?

Because marriage is what your letter is really about. Your yearning to get married is so profound you begin sobbing at the thought of a bachelor party. Yes, you do! So I put it to you: If you've "been together three years" and your boyfriend hasn't popped the Q, you must consider the following proposition: Does he fancy (in your words) "the type of woman who forbids her husband or boyfriend from doing anything"?

Pardon me—I don't wish to hurt your feelings—but you are exactly the kind of endearing little prude who not only does tell her boyfriend what to do, but also tells his friends what to do, as when "nearing tears [you] ask everyone to please stop talking about it."

If you don't want your boyfriend to go to strip clubs, stop bawling. Sharpen your wit, stun him with a snappy opening attack, and persuade him with reasoning. To win your point, you must learn how to think—and this, as David Foster Wallace said, "means learning how to exercise some control over how and what you think."

Or you may wish to employ a more convincing argument: Simply leap on the table, tear off your shirt, and say, "Why are you going to a club when you've got these, baby?"