Why should anyone else be perturbed because I felt that my 4-year old pweshus is old enough to go to Chez Fancy well after her bedtime? She is a good girl in church. She likes people. She can keep her shrieks down to a low squeal most of the time in public. She is likely going to fall asleep half way through (OR have a meltdown because she is tired and overstimulated. It is a 50/50 shot, but I am willing to take the chance.) So, all those diners should be happy to have pweshus in their midst at Chez Fancy. Right? NOT!!

Just because you can doesn't mean you should. That is something I think many people, parents and not, fail to recognize.

I can legally take a 4-year old into a theater showing a bloody horror movie at midnight, complete with loud special effects and screams. But, I would not. First, no 4 year old should experience that. Second, I would not want to subject other movie watchers to a child in full terror meltdown.

You may say that is not the same as taking a small child to Chez Fancy. Actually I think it is. It is a matter of being conscious that I will be sharing a space with other people and wanting to be polite in the situation.

I can legally take a 4-year old into a fancy restaurant (unless restricted by the owners) at 9PM at night. I would not do it. First, a 4-year old, no matter how well behaved, is unpredictable. Especially if it was past their bedtime, they were dressed in clothes they are uncomfortable in/not used to wearing, eating food they are not familiar with, at a place they have never been, and surrounded by adults they do not know. Second, I would not want to subject other diners to a potential shriek, loud laugh, meltdown, or tantrum that happen with an overstimulated, tired child.

Well, I've seen a few 20 and 30 year olds misbehave and yell out during speeches at a wedding so if they misbehave than we probably better exclude all 20 and 30 year olds from weddings. Really, they are all the same, right?

Seriously, though, there are a lot of assumptions about age. since misha addresses 4 year olds and the foods they are familiar with - my niece's favorite food is salmon, though humus and lentils rank pretty high, as do most vegetables. She loves getting dressed up (as do a lot of kids I know, actually). She really doesn't care one way or another about who is at other tables, she knows she is not dining with them so she doesn't interact with them, though she will respond politely if addressed. Quite frankly, there are a lot of adults who are not as open to the variety of food she enjoys and there are many adults who don't enjoy dressing up as much as she does. So Chez Fancy would be a bad place for any individual who was not open to the food or who wouldn't comply with the dress code. The problem is when you assume that age is a reliable indicator of those things.