Ask Naij: "I Am a Man, And My Male Friend is In Love With Me"

I have stumbled upon a conundrum that I cannot figure out on my own. I need to hear from the people of all Nigeria at large who have pearls of wisdom to bestow upon me.

So here’s the dilemma: The other night I was out with some friends … wait, let me back up.

Here’s what you should know: This dinner bunch is a tight circle of friends. We work in the same field and our bond is not only personal, it’s professional. One of the members of this group is a guy that has been a close friend of mine for the last two years. We’ve become really, really close, sharing stuff about our families, dating lives, professional lives and personal lives. This guy probably knows more about me than most of my closest friends.

Anyhow, back to dinner. As we finished it, I took off to use the restroom, and my friend followed me. There, he suddenly took my hand and said, “I am so attracted to you that I can’t look you in the eye. I’m having trouble breathing even saying this. I think I love you.“

I am not sure what happened next, because I thought he was leaning in (for a kiss, probably), and I reacted automatically -- I pushed him away with all the strength I could, and left the bathroom.

So, this is where it gets complicated. I'm a guy. I've never noticed he fancied me -- though some strange patterns of his behaviour around me are more clear to me now, -- nor had I ever thought about same-sex relationship experience.

After some time, my emotions calmed down, I am not angry or disgusted anymore.

Our friendship is really important to me, as is our group of friends. Besides, what would become of our professional connection? I take my career seriously and so does he. What will my family say if they found out I was approached by a man?

We hadn't have the chance to talk over his words yet.

Maybe he got confused, and his are brotherly feelings? Should I talk to him right away? What do I say to him, what do I do? I want him to stay out of trouble.