New Rule: You can't call it partying if half of the crowd is sitting around watching the other half of the crowd. That's a Quaker Meeting. With bottle service.

New Rule: If you aren't coming to party hard, stay at home. Professional level fun is not a spectator sport. Put your phone away, order a double and do the running man.

New Rule: We need more people speaking out against security pulling double duty as style enforcers. Your job training includes the words may i see your ID, get home safe, and nothing else. Absolutely nothing else. We will bet that voice.

New Rule: If you play the same shit we could can hear on the radio every hour on the hour, you should be required to indicate to the everyone, in advance, on the mic, that you are going to ruin their night. "Good evening everyone, I am DJ Anonymous Anything....Prepare not to dance or have fun, because I am going to blow the shit out of you!"