Resident Evil 6: a message from hell

Resident Evil 6 reviews have begun. It’s dark, it’s big and it’s full of zombies, but will it make you angry? Let’s ask Leon S. Kennedy.

My name is Leon S. Kennedy. Right now, I’m tired.

I’m tired because I’m trapped in zombie apocalypse hell for the third time and no matter what I do the horde keeps on coming back. It’s like a repeating nightmare that etches into my mind and follows me wherever I go. It’s as if misfortune haunts me like a spectre.

I’m here in Tall Oaks city with my partner Helena, and we’re trying to escape another zombie outbreak. Some 70,000 civilians turned to mindless flesh-hungry monsters, who only yesterday were going about their ordinary lives. Sort of puts everyday problems into perspective.

I also just shot and killed the President. Although he had already turned into a husk of his formal self. I shot him, and now a lot of people are now asking questions. So not only am I on the run from Neo-Umbrella’s biological abominations, I’m a traitor running from his own country.

I’m just so tired.

Even as I walk through the bowels of Tall Oak University I can’t seem to move in a straight line without difficulty. I become inexplicably slowed down by furniture, and I can’t even step over a dead body without tripping over like some tackled English footballer.

Then suddenly the horde is upon us, I draw my gun and aim for the head. One, two, three… surely not four? I blast at the zombie’s head as accurately as my pistol’s incredibly broad cross-hair allows, and even though I just scored four hits on target, I feel like shouting verbal insults at these guys would have more impact.

They don’t call this survival horror for nothing though, right? I’m supposed to feel this disadvantaged, just like I did during the Raccoon City incident, except now, times have changed. The world has changed. I’ve got more guns then I did back then, but yet I still feel useless.

I shoot down the first wave of zombies but in my peripheral vision I see another one lunging at me. I try to swing around to shoot him as fast as I can but my tiredness kicks in, and I can only only manage a morose pivot.

He takes a bite out of my shoulder before Helena rushes in and dropkicks him, taking his head clean off. I didn’t think that was possible, but then again I’ve seen weirder things in my time. Ever see a Spanish midget turn into a 20 foot vagina monster? Yeah, didn’t think so.

My shoulder hurts, and I’m just so very tired.

Helena helps me to my feet and injects me with some kind of stimulant. I’ve no idea what it is, but I see a lot of special agents use these things so they must be good. We regroup and start walking through a security corridor with metal detectors.

I know my gun – which is made of metal, I think – will set off the alarm and alert the horde so I try to play it smart and hop over the waist-high table next to it, but my tiredness stops me.

I can’t even get a leg up on it. I just wish I could be somewhere else, away from this madness. After a few seconds of questioning who designed the room, we pass through the scanner and fight off the zombies drawn in by the deafening alarm.

With that messy ordeal behind us, we venture into the subway network and it’s dark, really dark. As we walk down the platform edge I see them, three, no – maybe five dormant zombies lying there, waiting for us to pass by.

I’ve learned a lot about survival since Raccoon City, so I take aim at a zombified young woman and shoot her in the head. But nothing happens. Shit. This worked in Spain, why isn’t it working here? Confused and irritated by my inability to prepare, we walk ahead and approach a shutter door.

I know what’s coming, but how can I properly prepare for it when I’m this tired?

Suddenly, as if walking through some invisible tripwire, the horde wakes up. I knew this was going to happen so I’m not in the least bit surprised. Instead, I’m angry, so I try to take the initiative by shooting a nearby zombie before he stands up.

But still the hits don’t register. It’s like in those video games I play whenever I have some downtime from the agency. You know how sometimes enemies can’t be hurt until their scripted animations end, and how that serves no purpose than to irritate people and make initiative unrewarding? It’s just like that.

I politely wait for the monster to stand up before blowing his head clean off, and I notice Helena being grabbed by another pack of them. I sprint over to to her and grab the nearest zombie I can find, before pulling off some reverse DDT move I learned while watching wrestling one night.

We both slam into the ground the zombie’s head bursts like a ripe melon, but now I’m hurt. I take a look at whatever supplies I have and I realise that the action isn’t stopping. It’s like in that Dark Souls game I sometimes play.

I like that you can’t pause that game because it makes the action a lot more tense, and how it forces you to prepare ahead of fights. It puts pressure on players, sort of like the same pressure I felt back in Racoon City all those years ago, except this is a new kind of fight.

These enemies are faster, I’m faster and because I’m fighting these creatures in such small, enclosed spaces all the time, I can’t find a safe spot to stop and mix herbs into tablets before healing my wounds. Whoever designed this city didn’t think about us herb-mixers at all, not one bit.

I get chomped on some more while trying to mix herbs. Now I’m really tired.

Back on our feet we meet up with a pack of survivors pinned down at a gas station. We run over to help them, and suddenly I stop in horror. Are these humans, or are they more zombies? They’re so pale and lifeless I can’t even tell the difference.

One of them speaks, shouting for assistance, but his voice and lip movements don’t match. Now I’m convinced he’s one of them. Cautiously I raise my gun and start driving off the horde until, out of nowhere, an out of control ambulance screams into view towards me.

I haven’t got enough time to slowly pivot on the spot and run away and I become crushed by the vehicle. I feel cheated and frustrated for not being given a sporting chance to escape, but hey, I’m used to these sort of odds. I just expected a little more warning is all.

Although I’m beaten and my body aches, I stop for a second after the madness dies down. Maybe some of those skill point things I’ve been picking up will help me become stronger so that the fight is more manageable? I open my PDA for advice but I don’t know where and how to use them.

I know I can spend these on new skills, but no one has told me how. I’m frustrated and lost, and so very, very tired. Instead I decide to take this time to check on my buddies Chris and Jake. They’re also fighting Neo-Umbrella across the other side of the world. I hope they’re safe.

But wait: I can’t check in on them because if I do that, my progress so far will be lost. It’s like those games I often play when I have downtime at the agency, you know the ones that only have one save?

I’m told that I can’t check in on Chris or Jake until I finish this chapter or I’ll lose my progress. I definitely don’t want to do all of this again so I march on and suddenly it all clicks. ‘Progress’… ‘chapter’… ‘skill points’… could I be?

I’m a character in a videogame… none of this is real…

But yet, why am I still so tired?

I want to just stop and catch my breath, to make sense of the insanity going on all around me, but I can’t, just because someone forgot to put a pause function in the game. How much crueller can this existence be?

I’m just so tired, so very tired, but hope drives me on… hope that something better, a glimmer of ingenuity lies in wait around the next corner. I hear the graveyard level is much better, so I close my eyes and try and picture it.

Suddenly I stop moving as the guy controlling me leaves to go for a piss. I panic, screaming at the top of my lungs for him to come back. But the world doesn’t stop, and the advancing hordes of the undead descend on my immobilised, beaten body.

I try to escape, but I’m rooted to the spot as they bring me to the floor and tear me limb from limb. I know the guys who made this world must have had a good reason for taking the ability to pause out.

The guys responsible for this whole world were only trying to recapture the dread of the Raccoon City incident in an attempt to make people happy, I understand that now, but I still can’t forgive them as my life quickly fades away.

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@16… depending on what you thought of 5, I’m not sure what to make of that.

It’s not as good a game as 5, is that right? But just because the controls and shooting are worse (despite many reviews saying that was one of the things that had improved).

Reading a bunch of reviews, 80-90% of them can’t stop talking about the older games in the series. Would be nice to see someone review it as a standalone product so we can tell how good it is as a game.

I’m not a survival horror fan, not in the ‘Amnesia’ mould anyway – I prefer them to be more action orientated, ala Dead Space or RE5. Still hoping this might be a fun co-op experience.

*applauds* very nice piece. An entertaining way of expressing your views on what you played.

“Would be nice to see someone review it as a standalone product so we can tell how good it is as a game”
@17: Youtube may be your best bet. To your point about comparisons being drawn: 1) Capcom, by the direction of the game, and by it’s comments with press practically invite them. 2) What criteria are the readers of reviews, on the whole, likely to want to regard RE6 against?

@14 Lighten up DSB. It was just a bit of fun. There’s nothing wrong with mixing it up once in a while.

That was… definitely unique. Sad to say I completely agree.

This franchise, much like Call of Duty, is a has-been. A relic. It should Jane been buried a long time ago, but just like the movies of the franchise, people still spend their money on it, no matter how completely shit it gets.

@DSB Agree with 100%. I get what this ‘review’ is saying, but it’s so much effort to have to read and interpret – and no review should be like that.

I don’t get this sudden craze for new media type stuff… but I hope it stops soon. Games journalism isn’t taken very seriously at the best of times, and its easy to see why if this kind of stuff continues.

@27 Cranky isn’t the word Beta, it’s verging on nasty. It wasn’t attempt at new journalism, an attempt to make myself sound clever or a statement. We haven’t got a review done yet, and this is more a comment on how utterly dire some of the control and feature aspects are in the game. It was just an attempt to do something else and have bit of fun with it.

@26: It IS a review, and a good one at that. Well, maybe you’d rather use the word “Preview” or “First Impressions” but if you take this as a review, it’s a fine example of why you don’t need a number score at the end of a review to convey your opinion on the game.

Thanks to this review – pedantic fucker aren’t I – I can see that this will be a second hand purchase next year some time… It’s Biohazard so I have to get it, but I’m in no hurry.

thank goodness! I thought I was the only one who had issues with the controls and menu system as a whole. Frankly I don’t like how they all have the same gears of warrish moves, call of duty like gameplay. This is what Excella has to say about RE 6, “you’re still a child!”

+1 this article, especially as I have had the same issues with it this weekend (mysteriously, it arrived on Saturday morning).

I got to the graveyard… In my opinion it doesn’t get better Holes in the ground that somehow you fall into from a distance away from them. Respawning Zombies. That damn dog that I had to chase all the way back to the beginning of the chapter. Is it just me or is a zombie lands near your feet that is close enough for them to actually be attached to your throat?

I will keep going though, fingers crossed the niggles will become less tiresome

@40 well yeah pretty much dude. The sound on impact is muffled so you never know if you hit on target properly, the enemies dont flinch so much – it actually gets you doubting if you’re hurting them at all, or if there is some hidden weak point you’re missing.

@41
Wow, I’m pretty sure zombies did react in both RE4 and 5. The zombies in Operation Raccoon City was the one that had feedback-less zombies and I thought it was because of the western dev… Way to go Capcom.

I created an account just to tell you how much of a beautiful, beautiful explaination of this game this is. I literally saw myself as the person controlling the Leon in this article. One thing you lack though, the quick time events. More specifically, learning how to climb. “I’m climbing this rope…moving one arm above the other…when suddenly, OH GOD I’M FALLING! Let’s try this again…and freefalling again.” Over and over. But this…I’ve never seen anything more accurate in my life. And I am an honest, and accurate, individual. Bravo.

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Some gameplay footage of MotorStorm’s off-road buggies in DriveClub has surfaced. Pictures of the buggies were shown on the Japanese PlayStation Blog earlier this month, which considering the game was developed by Evolution Studios – which developed MotorStorm – this isn’t too much of a surprise. The buggies were first spotted by Videogamer, which pulled […]

The TV sport for Mortal Kombat X has been released, and not only does it contain a “spontaneous fight circle” taking over an entire city, but it features the System of a Down track Chop Suey. Mortal Kombat X will be released on PC, PlayStation 3, PS4, Xbox 360 and Xbox One April 14. The […]

A progression bug in Bloodborne is in the works, according to Sony and From Software. The issue occurs when players activate a multiplayer session in the Forbidden Woods using the Sinister Resonant Bell or Small Resonant Bell. It also appears the Lunarium Key won’t appear because of the multiplayer bug, and without the key you […]

The Yo-Kai Watch IP has sold over 7 million copies, according to developer Level-5. The figure included both physical and digital download sales. Yo-Kai Watch 3 will be unveiled during Level-5 Vision 2015 next month. The first title is in the works for the west but is still without a release window. Thanks, Gematsu.

In case you were worried or anything, Sony has once again obtained the Bloodborne trademark. Earlier this week it was revealed that Sony mistakenly abandoned the Bloodborne trademark along with four others registered with US Patent and Trademark Office: Guns Up!, Kill Strain; How Games Were Made to Sound, and No Heroes Allows: No Puzzles […]

New PC screenshots of GTA 5 have been released along with word of a new trailer coming on Monday. The screens below are from the PC version and you can view them in 4K glory over on Rockstar Newswire. The PC version of GTA 5 releases on April 14.

PlayStation users in Europe will soon have its own a PSN Service Status Indicator. It was released earlier this month in North America. The indicator makes it easier to check whether PlayStation services are down or running as planned. This includes account management, PlayStation Now, the store, social services, etc. Sony told Eurogamer the service […]

Bioware is unable to discuss when the Jaws of Hakkon DLC for Dragon Age: Inquisition will arrive on platforms other than PC and Xbox One. According to various tweets from executive producer Mark Darrah, due to the exclusivity contract between EA and Microsoft, the studio is unable to announce a release date for PlayStation 3 […]

Square Enix offering another mystery bundle to customers in the UK, which comes with five mystery PC games for £3.99. As before, customers will be unaware of the games they are purchasing in the mystery bundle, but the bundle contains triple-A titles worth £40 combined. One of Square’s previous mystery bundles contained Tomb Raider, Just […]

Shadow Tower, the first-person action-RPG developed for the original PlayStation by From Software, will be released on PlayStation Network. In the 1998 title, players took on the role of a mercenary who has returned home to the Holy Land of Zeptar to find the place has been sucked into the Underworld. He must use the […]

PlayStation TV has received a price cut in the UK. After several retailers started offering the console for less than the RRP of £84.99, users on DealSpwn began to wonder whether this is an official price cut, and not just regular deals or stock clearance. Sony later confirmed the new price of £44.99. “Starting from […]

You can download Forza Horizon 2 expansion Fast & Furious starting right now. Forza Horizon 2 Presents Fast & Furious is available to download now through Xbox Live for Xbox One and Xbox 360. The expansion is standalone, so you don’t need to own Forza Horizon 2 to play it. It’s also free from now […]

The 20th DLC for PayDay 2, the Butcher’s BBQ Pack, is now available on Steam. The DLC will run you $4.99/€4.99 and features: Piglet Grenade Launcher, 12G Steakout Shotgun and Mk1 Flamethrower Molotov cocktails and incendiary ammo Four new masks, patterns, materials and achievements The Butcher’s BBQ Pack is another co-development between Overkill and Croatian […]

Amid the current turmoil between Hideo Kojima and publisher Konami, one studio has offered the legendary designer a position. Lords of the Fallen developer Deck 13 took to Twitter to extend a job offer to Hideo Kojima. Dear Mr. @HIDEO_KOJIMA_EN In case you are currently searching, we have an open position as Head of Game […]

The question on every Destiny player’s lips today. And the answer, supplied by resident Destiny expert Paul Davies, is… Yes! We asked Paul whether or not he thought Xur’s Exotic weapon this week was worth the 23 Strange Coins. Here’s what he said: “It was already a great gun to own for PVP owing to […]

According to Final Fantasy 15 director Hajime Tabata, the main cast of the game is all-male because it makes the game “more approachable.” Final Fantasy 15 director Hajime Tabata spoke to Gamespot about the reason for his choice of making the core cast an all-male affair. “Speaking honestly, an all-male party feels almost more approachable […]

Blizzard has given Hearthstone expansion Blackrock Mountain a solid release date. Hearthstone’s Blackrock Mountain adventure pack will be released April 2 in the Americas region, and April 3 in Europe, Korea, Taiwan, and China. Blackrock Depths is the first wing to be released, others will follow one week apart. Other than the 31 new cards, […]

If you’re having issues loading your Bloodborne save after applying firmware update 2.50 to your PS4, this should help you out. Reddit user KBALLZZ encountered an issue after installing update 2.50 on his PlayStation 4. Bloodborne started reinstalling the day one patch again and when it was done he couldn’t continue his game or load […]

Sony is offering a 10% discount coupon to anyone looking to buy games on PlayStation Store this weekend. Sony’s latest discount coupon code is here. You’ll receive 10% off your cart total when buying from the PSN Store. The offer is not valid on purchases made on PS Vita, PlayStation TV, PSP, or in-game stores. […]

Dark Souls 2: Scholar of the First Sin will offer returning customers a chance to upgrade at a discounted price. Those who already own Dark Souls 2 on Steam and are interested in picking up the Scholar of the First Sin edition will be happy to know that publisher Bandai Namco is offering them an […]

Insight is one of the currencies in Bloodborne, but it’s also a mechanic that affects the gameplay. There are MASSIVE SPOILERS below, so turn back now or one of Bloodborne’s gameplay mechanics will be SPOILED for you. Just like Blood Echoes in Bloodborne, Insight is used to purchase certain items from vendors in the game. […]

The second phase of the April update for Xbox One is now open to members of the Preview programme and and it looks like there are even more features in store. Phase one of Xbox One’s April firmware update started a few days ago with improvements to party chat and achievements notifications. Today, phase two […]

As of patch 1.8 for GTA 5 on PlayStation 4 and Xbox One, a few graphical issues have cropped up leading some to believe there has been a stealth downgrade to the game’s overall graphics. Over the past couple of days, Reddit went nuts over a video showing what appears to be a downgrade to […]

Xur: Agent of the Nine has arrived at The Tower in Destiny to rid you of your Strange Coins. Xur: Agent of the Nine has once again made it to Destiny’s Tower to sell you Exotic weapons and gear in exchange for Strange Coins and Motes of Light. For this weekend, Xur can be found […]

Destiny is finally getting the vault space upgrade players have been begging for almost since launch week. Destiny players can currently use vault space to store 20 pieces of amour, 20 weapons and 20 general item stacks. In the latest Bungle Weekly Update, the developer revealed that as of patch 1.1.2, due before House of […]

Half-Life 2: Update will be available tomorrow, and thanks to the modding community, those who own the vanilla version of the game can apply a visual update to the 2004 title. The comparison video shows you the differences between the original version, and the version with Half-Life 2: Update applied. Here’s what the mod includes: […]

You can now pre-download the free-to-play Neverwinter MMO on Xbox One. The game launches on March 31, but you will still need an Xbox Live Gold account to play it. Based on the Dungeons & Dragons franchise, the game can be downloaded from the Xbox Store.