Screaming Ascent from Chaos

Remember, the best way to cook is always with the finest and freshest ingredients. You’re going to want a work of literature for this recipe – it should give just a little when you squeeze it, but not be yellow around the edges. My personal variety is the novel, but I’ll leave it to the cook’s discretion whether your taste is more for poetry, short story, non-fiction, etc.

Pour a generous dosing of brainstorming over your prepared work. Make sure you’ve taken your time; undistracted dilution is the only way to live, people. Set on the stove to heat.

Now, you’re going to want to stir it well. There is no danger of over-whisking, but stirring it too long will fatigue your muscles. Everything should be mixed together by the time your literature starts simmering.

Add striped socks. No idea why, but this always helps the writing process. Chalk it up to alchemical cooking, put it in the pot, and move on with life.

Now you are ready to pour into a mug and garnish with optimism. You can serve your literature without the garnish, of course, but it won’t be as scrumptious unless you are really looking forward to each plot point.

Variations on this recipe include adding a healthy dose of vampires, a tablespoon of aliens-from-outer-space, a dollop of time-travel, or, if you’re feeling feisty, a sprinkle of assassins.

If any of you are interested in my single-serving Writer’s Block Hot Chocolate recipe – enjoy…

6 T semi-sweet chocolate chips (more or less, to taste)

1/4 C whipping cream (this will make it creamy and delicious)

3/4 C 2% milk (this will make sure you don’t choke from the richness)

1 hand-full of mini marshmallows.

– Heat chocolate in a pot on the stove until just melty, but not burnt. Add the cream and whisk until chocolate is fully combined, then add the milk. Whisk. Wait until small bubbles start simmering around the edge, pour into your mug, top with marshmallows, and serve/sip.

Added fun times include a garnish of whipped cream, a dusting of cinnamon or nutmeg, and/or a splash of whiskey or kalua.

I hope this has helped you bust your writer’s block! Good luck with your hopes and dreams!