How NFWTV Works

In the mid 1990s, we acquired the access codes to several Soviet spy
and communication satellites for a used Mercedes 500, a condo in
Hollywood, Florida, and a case of Johnny Walker Black -- No Freakin'
Wires Television was born. We can't tell you how we acquired the
receiver technology, because our attorneys have advised us that the
statute of limitations has not yet expired. But we can assure you
that the plans worked, and our current Asian manufacturing facilities
are turning the stuff out like there is no tomorrow.

P.S. We'll be broadcasting as soon as we can find
some tapes for our VHS-C camcorders...