segunda-feira, dezembro 06, 2004

Deep and depressing afternoon

It was the most depressing afternoon ever. The phone call from my mother, as soon as I woke up (around 10 a.m.), telling me that it has been found a tumor in her uterus, made me collapse! Ok, it is a not malignant one, but a surgery to remove it will be necessary. I felt afraid. After all, we use to think that our “moms” are the strongest human beings of the world. Of course, I tried not to let her realize that I was shivered with fear. But I don’t know if I could. After I hung up the phone, alone at home, with my thoughts, my fears and my weakness, I started to think about those things no one should think about: life, future, family, disease, happiness, unhappiness, death… The hours passed fast and slowly at the same time. There was no mood to have lunch – specially ‘cause I was alone. Then, I thought about my adolescence and the happy years I will never have again. I remembered the afternoons when all my pals went to my house and, from there, we went to the beach, to surf, to enjoy our companies, to have fun indeed. Those afternoons were completely different from the afternoon I lived yesterday. Even the sun, brighter yesterday than it was during the whole week, failed in its attempt to make me feel better. Why am I writing in English? Because this is not my language — and yesterday, I was not myself… sorry