Saturday, April 28, 2007

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the ousting of one Rosie O'Donnell. No longer will the public be forced to hear her fat trap jabber on about the 911 "conspiracy" or her vitriolic hatred of Donald Trump. (We all know she is just jealous of his comb over...as am I!). Barbara Walters and "The View" claim that she is leaving because of the money — the bleeding heart liberal just can't get enough. Go figure. But we all know it is because audiences, yours included, cannot stand to have her as an outrageous mouthpiece for one minute longer. The people have spoken. Rosie, you're fired!

But fear not, my friends. She plans to come back and guest host special programs on autism and depression. That's depressing. This is exactly the sane, level-headed woman that I would want preaching about the mental and physical health of our country.

Oh, and the article happens to be written by my buddy at the NYTimes Jacques Steinberg. You might remember that he is too busy to print a correction about my computer's instrumental musical selection, but he happened to have time to give a big, fat plug to Rosie's personal blog in this article. Here's an idea Jacques: why don't you print a correction to your story, attacking me and talk radio, and then link to Nealz Nuze where readers can read about it first hand (in journalism speak, you might call that "directly from the source"). This way the people can determine for themselves what is truth and what isn't, since in your job as a journalist you don't seem to feel that that is necessary.