My total number of miles completed was 43.5928. The goal was 50 miles, but my body reminded me that I probably could have worked harder. My mind started to play tricks on me at 33 miles and at one point I started to cry for no reason. Okay, maybe it happened more than once. But then I picked myself up and put one foot in front of the other and kept on moving. Here's how it all went down...

September 30th, 2017

Sunrise on October 1st

Adam and I arrived at Hinson Lake late Friday night. The race would begin the next morning at 8am. We found a place to set up the tent near the water and went to sleep soon after setting everything up. People were walking around for a few hours after and we heard all of them since we were camped right off the path. We woke up the next morning to the most beautiful sunrise over the lake. After getting dressed and eating a cold bagel, we headed to the start line. Adam gave me a kiss and I began to run my first lap around the lake. Each lap was about 1.5 miles so it was a perfect distance to run and not have to carry hydration the whole way. I would pass the support tent and my own tent every lap so if I forgot something, it wouldn't be long before I had access to it again. This proved very beneficial when I realized very early on I was starting to get a blister. I had made a poster for Adam to hold for me each time I passed the tent. Each block represented a lap and what mile I was on. I had taken advise from my friend Clay, who said that you need a way to measure progress during an ultra or else you will start to feel like you're not making any forward movement and your mind will really start to play tricks on you. I made notes for when I needed to take salt (every lap) and when to eat food (every 3rd lap) I knew I would reach a point where I would need to be reminded about the little things.

Adam plays for the crowd!

I was doing really well for the first couple rows of boxes. Each time I passed Adam, he would hold the sign up so I could see how my progress was. As the laps passed, I began to walk more than I was running. I had certain time goals to reach certain sports on my "map" and at one point I was pretty far ahead of where I needed to be. I let myself take a little bit of a break because I had to keep remembering that this race was 24 hours long and I needed to stay consistent. Adam walked a few laps with me here and there which was a huge help for my overall moral. He helped with crowd moral by bringing his guitar and he played along as people ran by. At one point a man say down and asked Adam if he could use the guitar to play a song. He played a funny song about running a marathon that had us all laughing. This is a moment in the race that I will not forget!

This sign.... Right before hitting the lap counter... Oh, and there were gnomes everywhere!

Im in the tank top.... Walking the wrong way...

Before I knew it, the sun was beginning to set, and I was starting to fall off my projected times. I tried to not let it bother me, but my body was starting to break down with foot and hip pain. I was completing a lap in 30 minutes which meant that my overall pace had dropped to a 20 minute mile. Sometime around 9 or 10pm, I finished a lap and when I saw Adam and my friend Sherry, I just started crying. I started talking about how much pain I was in and that I was mentally starting to check out. My feet hurt and I wanted to keep going but I was hurting so bad. Adam assured me that it was okay to stop and call it a day.

"But I told everyone I was going to do 50, so I have to keep going." I told him.

I can't believe I said that to him. I knew that he didn't know how to respond to that and the tears just kept coming. I was frustrated that my feet were hurting as bad as they were. I thought about all those late nights I was out running and all those hot and humid days where I went for a run when I didnt want to. I even thought about the runs I skipped when I was feeling lazy. But I didnt go through all that to quit now. ​

Find a gnome, move the gnome.

About 30 minutes later I wiped my tears away, stood up, and kept going. The trail was lit with glow sticks and there were not many people still running or walking. I began to feel lonely out there. As I reached the lap counter, I saw my name climb the leader board and I was feeling better. I completed two more laps in the pitch dark. I decided to lay down in the tent for 30 minutes and then reassess. As I laid in the tent, feeling ready to quit and just sleep, I decided that maybe it just wasn't in the cards to reach 50 this time. "You can always sign up again for next year and do better" is what I told myself. I told myself that I could reach 42 miles and I would be happy about coming within 8 miles of my goal. Adam woke up when I started to put my shoes on.

"Going at in again baby?" He asked me.

"I told myself I can stop at 42 miles and then I can try this again next years." I replied.

"Good luck baby, I love you." He said as I stepped outside and zipped up the tent.

"One foot in front of the other" was the name of the game. I tried thinking about other things to distract me from my foot pain. I started thinking about meditation, and my new interest in Buddhism. I tried to reflect on the things I have learned about positive self talk and such. Before long, I was back to the tent. I laid down, still feeling a bit disappointed that I wouldn't reach my goal, but proud that I had at least done what I could. At the pace I was moving, I would barley make the 50 mile cut off by 8am. "Next year...next year..." I set my alarm for 6am and went to sleep.

All night long I listened to the feet of runners and walkers as they passed by my tent. "I wonder what their training plan was like. I wonder if they skipped any workouts like I did. I wonder if this is their first time doing this."

At 6am I woke up and tried to reassess my body. Did I think I could do another lap? It's only 1.5 miles around.... Nah, I decided, 42 miles was still okay. At 7am I woke up again and decided that I had another lap in me. I quickly started to get my shoes on and Adam woke up.

"What are you doing?" He asked me .

"I'm going out for another lap. The race ends at 8am, I can get in one more lap..."

I felt better, but my foot was still hurting me a bit. I finished the lap and then the volunteers handed me a banana with my number written on it. This race is unique because they have what is known as "The Banana Lap" where you get a banana and walk it as far as you can before quitting the race. When the horn goes off at 8am they shout, "THREE! TWO! ONE! DROP THE BANANA!!!!" Then the race director goes out with a measuring wheel and measures the point to each banana and writes it down. and that distance is then added to your laps. This way you get partial credit for your last lap even if you dont make it to the "finish" line.

When I finished, my total distance was measured at 43.5928. Damn.... had I walked just a few more steps I would have been at 43.6....

As I walked back to my tent, Adam congratulated me on finishing the race and continuing on after the mental and physical breakdowns. I smiled at him and said, "I'll be back again next year in order to get my 50." I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm crazy.

Registration opens at 12:00am on January 1st, 2018 and my goal is to be the first one to sign up. I might even be able to get Adam to be the second one on the list! One thing is for sure: Next year there will be a "50" after my name. Count on it!

To see the pictures, click on each one to see it full size and the caption.