With this whole process comes a lot of thoughts, with a lot of thoughts the need for an outlet arises...thus the blog.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Something...

Anything. I just need a little give in this process, some kind of major break through. Something. I’m excited about the possibility of the grants bringing some funds through but I’m scared that it might not pan out. I always told myself that we couldn’t count on those grants 100%, we couldn’t even count on the grants 20%. I just don’t think I can send another denial email to fab social worker...another one slipped through our fingers last week. Little boy, born on Sunday (email from her was on Tuesday, which I’m noticing is a trend for us...Tuesday’s). Parents have six children already and can’t handle another one. Fab social worker said that she was pretty confident we would be matched because the birth parents weren’t being too choosy and we were the ONLY ONES in like three districts who don’t have a race or gender preference. Nothin’ like a confidence booster, being the last resort. I know she didn’t mean it that way but sometimes I think people forget that it’s a human life that’s waiting in the wings. If we didn’t take him, he’d have to go to foster care until someone else did. Heartbreaking. A little boy, who didn’t choose to be born to parents who already had six other children and couldn’t “deal” with another, has to go and live his brand new life with total strangers who might be freaks. He has to bond with someone he won’t ever remember, his life will be sustained by someone who doesn’t intend on keeping him, and who knows for how long, days, months, maybe even a year or two. This whole process puts you in the middle of so many crazy emotions. You feel for the birth mom and her admittance to not being able to handle this, but you’re annoyed that she couldn’t be more responsible six children later to just say ENOUGH and use some freaking protection or stop having sex! I know first hand of many success stories involving foster adoption, and I know it’s not the last resort but with things like this it’s just not the ideal situation, and the one thing I always go back to is...HE didn’t have a choice in this. He didn’t choose his parents, he didn’t choose that he was child number six instead of two, he didn’t choose to be orphaned.

Deuteronomy 10:18 “He ensures that orphans and widows receive justice. He shows love to the foreigners living among you and gives them food and clothing.”