I don't know how to start. I'm kind of reluctant to post this here... I'm always overthinking things but I can't help it. It's like I have no freaking control of my mind sometimes. I often think I'm just crazy or something. I've never been in a relationship. I'm starting to think I might be alone forever? What if I'm destined to be alone? Its gotten so bad that I'm starting to give up on it. The topic of love and seeing lovey dubby cartoons or movies pisses me off because I see it as a bunch of bullshit now. The thought of being alone for the rest of my life kills me. For about 3 years now suicide has been constantly on my mind. I've attempted once by trying to overdose on Flexeril. Backed out of it at the last second. I don't remember much from that day. I've gotten close to doing it again except with a gun this time. I had the gun in my hand, but a friend talked me out of it. There is so much more but I won't go there. I don't know where else to go..... sorry for the long post. I'm so full of mixed emotions I can't even think straight so I'm sorry if some of this doesn't make sense... Like I said there is so much more but its entirely way too much to post but this is whats bothering me the most. With all of this bs going on I'm slowly losing it. Pulling at my hair punching walls, bed, desk, etc. Even thought about drinking or cutting. This is probably all kinds of crazy and jumping place to place..... I'm sorry.

WaffleSingSong

August 17th, 2015, 03:19 AM

It's ok dude, if your still stressed, just take slow, deep breathes, and just focus and think about breathing for at least 5 minutes. Sit down, be still and quiet. Just breathe and concentrate.

Good? Good. Listen, life isn't always a barrel of fun, but that dosent mean that it never is either. Let's ask some questions...

1) Do you specifically think about anything? Or is it just random?
2) How well do you get along with members of the gender(s) your attracted to? Why?
3) What's the motivation for your suicidal thoughts? Is there?

It's ok to not think straight over stress, which it seems like it effects you greatly. Is there anything that particularly stresses you out?

Keenen

August 17th, 2015, 08:24 AM

It's ok dude, if your still stressed, just take slow, deep breathes, and just focus and think about breathing for at least 5 minutes. Sit down, be still and quiet. Just breathe and concentrate.

Good? Good. Listen, life isn't always a barrel of fun, but that dosent mean that it never is either. Let's ask some questions...

1) Do you specifically think about anything? Or is it just random?
2) How well do you get along with members of the gender(s) your attracted to? Why?
3) What's the motivation for your suicidal thoughts? Is there?

It's ok to not think straight over stress, which it seems like it effects you greatly. Is there anything that particularly stresses you out?

1) Its random I guess. Like if I see something that reminds me of a insecurity I have, it rattles in my head until I just go to sleep, but ofc it returns.

2) I don't really talk to many guys where I live, because I'm gay and out and I guess they don't want to be seen talking to me, which I can understand.

3) I'm scared that I'll never find someone. I don't want to be alone.. I keep telling myself it'll get better once I get out of this stupid hick town and off to a bigger city where I'll attend college, but its starting to not work.

Nav-Man

August 17th, 2015, 09:47 AM

Look.
Put your head into those books.
Go to college.
Play the end game, Suicide's nothing fun.
Think about how many people will miss you.
Your family, Your friends.
There's that one guy out there waiting to meet you except you'll never meet him if You're dead.

Keenen

August 17th, 2015, 10:30 AM

I'm good now guys ^^ Thanks for your help! :)

Just JT

August 17th, 2015, 10:58 AM

Well, im glad for that, and there's a lot of good people here who are willing to chat anytime you need to ok?
Life ain't all that easy, just take it slow

My dad used to say, and I hate to sound like an asshole, cause im not, but this is kinda funny to

"Life's rough, get a helmit"
He's right to

bule1

August 19th, 2015, 10:16 AM

Everything will be ok.If you died,everything you will never go through.
It is true that living in the earth sometimes are not going well ,so that will request us some
courage to face it.If you kill yourself,You just kill every possibities that letting things going
right.