A priest, a rapist, and a child molester walk into a bar. And that's just the first guy!

As I've mentioned, I was raised Catholic. My departure from the fold was sort of mutually agreed upon (I didn't want to stay, they didn't want me to stay, so I solved both our problems). Not that I had a lot to lose...technically speaking, I've been excommunicated since I was something like eleven or twelve, when I told my first Catholic joke. According to the Codex Juris Canonici (last revision I'm aware of, 1983), that constitutes heresy, which since 1364 is grounds for automatic excommunication (it's called latae sententiae, which means no ceremony, no waiting), and I never repented for it. This is why the other two charges that can make up that offense, schism and apostasy, don't worry me -- I was already nailed before I started venting my anger on the church. Although, technically, I guess the flour in the church pipe organ gag isn't covered, so my most obnoxious display of contempt would just get me Stations Of The Cross, not the book, bell, and candle treatment.

My attitude does have a side effect. The local priest in my town taught the CCD classes while I was a kid. Everyone loved him and thought he was a great guy. I was apathetic. After all, I only really knew him from church services. He stayed longer than he was supposed to, then moved to a town a short distance away. It was years later, in my twenties, that my mom sat me down for a talk. It seems he was suspected of doing nasty things with the altar boys (I was the only one in my CCD class who refused to be an altar boy). She asked me if he had ever done anything to me. I pointed out to her that I've known where he was all that time. "Don't you think, if he'd done something to me, I would have made him pay by now?" She conceded the point and that was that.

To be fair, allegations of sexual abuse are not limited to the Catholic Church. For a while, in fact, other subsets of Christianity were racking up far more than the Vatican was. Which, of course, begs the question -- is it that the Catholic Church really watches out, or are they that good at sweeping things under the rug?

It's amazing the allegations that are springing up all of a sudden. Given the iron fisted control of the media and the parishioners the Catholic Church exerts, I'm surprised anything got out at all. The Catholic Church is really stupid, from The Pill Kills to praying away the gay, they do everything they can to control what they incorrectly view as deviant sexuality when those in the fold apparently make "Rocky Horror" look like the Osmonds.

Now, the Catholic Church is feeling the heat. Estimates are that they have lost about $3.6 bil in offerings from the parishioners. England is figuring out if they can hold the pope responsible. And the Vatican is saying that the whole thing is an attack orchestrated by enemies of the church. There's no need for enemies to destroy the church. They are doing it by themselves.

Calvin: Do you think the devil makes man do bad things?Hobbes: I'm not sure man needs the help.