Category: Self-Help

Are you living your life the way you want to live it, or the way you’ve been told or taught you have to live it?

There’s a good chance that you are where you are right now in life because you have allowed the opinions, thoughts, actions and words of other people to pigeonhole you into a certain station in life.

We create and form our reality. What we accept for ourselves is what we get.

Someone, maybe a parent, sibling or peer, insulted you throughout your younger years. Eventually you started to believe that characterization of who you are.

A mean, miserable teacher told you that the only job you would be good at is working at a grocery store. So instead of pursuing a job or career in the field of your choice you continue to work in retail stores. (In fact, schools often shape our futures by forcing us to choose a major without giving us proper counseling about this major life decision.)

Your friends taught you that drinking and getting drop down drunk every weekend or taking drugs is normal, so that’s what you continue to do week after week.

You were told since a young child that getting married and having babies is crucial to being a happy normal woman. But here’s a newsflash: a lot of married women with kids are absolutely miserable! Some young women may be happier if they follow a different path early on before settling down.

Someone may have told you that your skin color wasn’t the “right” shade, or that you weren’t attractive enough, or that you’re not the right size, so you believed those things and took a certain path in life based on that information.

Words can be powerful. Accepting a negative affirmation into your reality is almost like taking a spoonful of slow acting poison that breaks down your life force little by little every day. Accepting the opinions and beliefs of others into your reality can cause low self-esteem, which causes you to live a less fulfilling life. Low self esteem prevents you from dreaming big.

How can we ever manage to live a life that makes us happy if we’re living our lives based on what other people want or see for us?

What do YOU really want for your life? What do YOU see for yourself? Where do YOU want to be? Who do YOU want to share your life with?

If you’re not happy with the way your life has been going, start answering these questions.

Then start envisioning the answers manifesting in your life.

Then start living your life the way it was meant to be lived!

Love Lynn

Lynn Gilliard is a writer, transformational blogger and author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU.

As a young girl and woman I was always the one who selflessly gave of myself to others — even when it wasn’t convenient for me. I’d take the smallest portion to eat, even though I had just spent hours in the kitchen cooking the meal. I would relinquish a spot at the outlet in a coffee shop so that someone else could charge up, even if that meant I would have to cut my time working or studying short. I would go out of my way to please men sexually, even when I wasn’t really pleased in return. I would drive people all around town to help them out even if it caused me to be late for my own affairs.

I think a lot of us women do these things in one way or another — putting others ahead of us; putting their needs ahead of ours. It’s a learned behavior — a lot of us learn it from watching the older women in our families do this 24/7 for years and years.

For me that type of thinking is now a distant memory as I have adopted the new motto: “I am the most important person in my life.” I believe that statement should be true in every person’s life.

This is not a call for us to be selfish and neglect everyone around us — it’s a call for us to stop being selfless as women and prioritize our own needs. Being selfless is not good — we NEED self. We need that self to be strong and happy. The truth is that if we’re not okay, we can’t do much good for anyone else. This includes mothers, wives, caregivers, employees and volunteers. It’s crucial that we tend to our own needs first and foremost — only then can we properly tend to the DESERVING AND APPRECIATIVE people on our lives who need our help and provide reciprocal support/love.

So if someone tries to make you feel guilty for putting your needs before theirs, don’t be afraid to stand up and say “YES I MATTER, I COME FIRST IN MY LIFE. Who comes first in YOUR life?”

Showing love and attention to yourself is one of the first bold steps toward complete and unlimited happiness. Start today.

Love Lynn

Lynn Gilliard is a writer, transformational blogger and author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU.