WWF RAW is WAR

7.12.98

BLAH

AWARDS NEWS: I
received something like 489 ballots. Hopefully the results
will be posted to RSPWI (rec.sport.pro-wrestling.info) right around the
15th. Right now the odds of that happening are around 50%. We'll see.

THINGS WHICH WILL PISS OFF OTHER WEB
WRITERS: No, no, not this week, I'm
too bogged down. Everybody gets a free pass this week. Enjoy it...

One World Leader Attitude - WWF!

Clip montage in that trademark style shows Austin taking the shovel to
Undertaker, Mankind losing the Hardcore title in a ladder match with the
Big Bossman when the Rock interferes. Tonight, Steve Austin and Mankind
team up to face the Rock and the Undertaker! RAW is WAR is causing you
pain!

Opening credits.

It's RAW is WAR coming to you from the Unnamed Arena in New Haven, CT
7.12.98 (but taped 1.12) and broadcast in almost real time on USA and TSN!
We're closed captioned, rated TV-PG-V and en espanol donde sea disponible.
Your hosts are Michael King Cole and Jerry King Lawler, who provide
commentary. They don't say why Jim Ross isn't around.

TRIPLE H,
CHYNA, and
X-PAC go to the
ring as the commentators ask where
the Outlaws are - have they gone corporate? Hey, like, Chyna's showing
off her ass and stuff. Ha ha. "Let's get right down to business," starts
Helmsley, who calls out the Outlaws. If they've made a business decision
that's fine, but have the balls to come out and tell him to his face.
Fortunately for us, a separate entrance means that we get to hear that
wonderful music we love so much, as the NEW AGE OUTLAWS, bedecked in
suits, walk out, drinking their bottled water with pinkies aloft. James
asks them to cut the music so he can do the spiel...but there's a
difference. "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages
... Vincent K. McMahon proudly brings to you HIS WWF tag team champions of
the woooooooorld... Road Dogg Esquire, Badd Ass Inc., the New Corporate
Outlaws!" "And if you're not Corporate, you can damn sure suck it." And
then they introduce COMMISSIONER SHAWN
MICHAELS, who comes down to *his*
theme. Of course, Shawn is also nattily attired in a suit. "First of
all, Triple H, if you wanna talk about who does or who doesn't have balls
around here, let's start with you. Let's go back in time to the birth of
D-Generation X. I mean, let's face it, the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels
is the founding father of D-Generation X. And as far as I'm concerned, I
think you at LEAST owe me an apology, for at least nothing else, for
gimmick infringement." Helmsley says he owes him nothing and the crowd
cheers (I guess). Michaels accuses Helmsley of riding his coattails for
virtually his whole career. He reminds him that he turned him into
somebody when he was nobody. Helmsley says HE was carrying MICHAELS' ass
"when you were walking around with a belt you didn't deserve to carry
anymore," then he reminds him that he picked up the ball after he dropped
it. Michaels says he had balls he doesn't even know about (huh?) and says
"I made you and I can break you." "...the only thing broken down around
here is your ego, little man." And HHH had two words for him, oh no.
Michaels says that he's got something HE can suck on - a match between
Helmsley and X-Pac against Big Bossman and Ken Shamrock tonight. For an
encore, Michaels deems it an Anything Goes match, and if the Outlaws
happen to get involved, so be it. Finally he asks for the sound guys to
"hit my music" and the DX theme plays. Crotch chops all around, and the
rest of TEAM
CORPORATE
is at the top of the ramp to welcome the Outlaws
and Michaels. Helmsley leads the crowd in saying "Suck it" one more time
but it looks like every title holder but Duane Gill is in the Corporation.
Boy, that Corporation is valuable - you might even say, it's....it's....a
MILLION DOLLAR CORPORATION!

X-Pac is taking out his disgust on some locker room furniture. Helmsley
says that he needs Chyna to watch their backs in their match if the
Outlaws or Michaels interferes. Chyna nods.

JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET (with Debra
McLegs) v. OH YOU BETTA RECOGNISE
D'LO BROWN (with Mizark Henry) - Last night,
Goldust challenged Jarrett to
a striptease match - I don't think ANYBODY wants to see Goldust naked -
but I don't know how many people want the mystery removed from Debra
McMichael either. Jarrett strikes first, knee to the gut and Brown flips,
nicely. Jarrett with punches and a whip into the corner, Brown comes out
with a lariat. Right hand. Second rope clothesline and Brown says "Oh,
hell yeah!" what an Austin ripoff that D'Lo is. Jarrett goes outside for
consolation, then drags out Brown while Debra ties up referee "Blind" Earl
Hebner. This backfires, as Henry goes over to help Brown regain control.
We're back in the ring and Brown is chopping away (woooo!) Cole tells us
that JR's Momma died two days ago, I offer my condolences and sincerely
hope it wasn't because she heard some naughty words on RAW or saw some
obscene body parts. Meanwhile, Jarrett has regained control and here's a
side Russian legsweep for 2. Whip into the ropes, reversal, head down,
Jarrett with the Sunset flip - nope, big punch from Brown. Jarrett hits a
groin kick wihle Hebner isn't looking. Brown's head meets the turnbuckle,
whip, Brown with a kick as Jarrett puts his head down. Oh man, the Sky Hi
folded Jarrett in half. But it took a lot out of D'Lo as both men are
down. Crowd chants "D'Lo sucks" forgetting he's a face now. Maybe
they're chanting "D'Lo Brown" and I'm mishearing it. As Brown does his
house on fire bit, GOLDUST
is out in a trenchcoat - and anything else? He
flashed Debra! Whoops, Brown's got a schoolboy for the pin
(2:24). I
guess Jarrett was distracted too...well, at least I didn't have to see
whatever Goldust was flashing - judicious camera angles are FANtastic.

Steve Austin bitches about something to Tony Garea - I think about Mankind
being his tag team partner tonight, I don't know.

George & Adam Need to Get The Hell Off My TV Screen - b&w freaky beatniks
hawking WWF: Attitude - oh, the smell of it. Nostalgia: years ago, Herb
Kunze called George & Adam "Rick & Chris" when they were doing that
"arriving at WrestleMania three months early and staying in their seats
the whole time" set of vignettes. I was the Chris, but I don't have ANY
idea who the "Rick" was.

Clips from Mr. McMahon's recent speech at Oxford this past Thursday.

RAW is WAR is brought to you tonight by 10-10-321, Norelco close shaves,
and Castrol GTX when you're drivin' hard.

HEAD BANGERS v. GANGREL & EDGE (with
Christian) - the line is dropped that
the Head Bangers have "defrocked" the Insane Clown Posse, so I guess
they've been written out. Mosh and Gangrel start and Mosh gets the early
offense, back and forth, Gangrel with a underhook overhead slam. Tag to
Edge, double whip, Gangrel whips Edge into Mosh, Gangrel splashes Edge,
double DDT. Edge covers and Thrasher breaks it up. Double Feature
brought to you by Glover - these guys know their double team moves.
Thrasher pulls the top rope and Edge goes over. Edge's head meets the
STEEL steps while referee "Blind" Mike Chioda misses the action. Mosh
slams Edge, then climbs to the second rope, where Thrasher is waiting -
Thrasher slams Mosh on Edge! Gangrel breaks it up. Tag, double whip,
double flapjack. THIS is tag team wrestling! Whoops, here's
LUNA to mess
with Thrasher. Here's TIGER ALI SINGH
& BABU NAHASAPEEMAPETILAN for no
reason. Here's the rest of the ODDITIES. Can somebody
explain to me
what's going on here? Luna and Babu are going at it...okay. Golga hits
the Earthquake on Mosh. Singh's fighting with...an Oddity? Oddities'
music plays - what happened again? (DQ
2:07)

Mankind is talking to a stack of chairs somewhere in the back.

And now the WWF Rewind, brought to you by Glober! Last week on the War
Zone, Kane and Austin put Paul Bearer in the sewer. Make your own
WWF/sewer joke here.

Backstage, we see Vince, flanked by Shane and Rock, talking to Paul Bearer
- "can the Undertaker function with the Rock?" as McMahon reminds Bearer
of all the things Austin did to him and the Undertaker.

WHINY BITCH OWEN HART v.
GOLDUST - last night on Heat, Owen announced his
unretirement. He's back to his cool music with the "Enough is enough"
whining overdubbed on it - thumbs up. Owen will be fighting Steve
Blackman this Sunday, while Goldust takes on Jeff Jarrett is a Striptease
match (Goldust or Debra) - "Earlier Tonight" clip shows Goldust flashing
Debra - AGAIN. OK fine, stop showing me that. Cole speculates that near
100% of the folks at the GM Place will be rooting for Goldust, and he
could very well be right. Owen's first match since retiring, and Goldust
hits a hiptoss. Hart does a lot of shouting to fans who still think he's
the Blue Blazer (because they're stupid). A brief bit of mat wrestling
breaks out which I can't be bothered to transcribe (ha!) Clean break and
we're all back up and Hart is again running his mouth to the fans.
Lockup, Hart goes behind, back elbow by Goldust, back and forth we go,
spinning heel kick by Hart! To the corner, Hart kicks away, right hand,
kick, whip out to the opposite corner. Cole says he doesn't see THAT much
ring rust. Overhead suplex for 2. Goldust comes back with chops to the
throat. Owen returns with headbutts and elbows. Bodyslam. Sharpshooter?
Goldust kicks away and there's a cradle for 2. Hart with the enziguiri!
1, 2, kickout that probably was too late. Shame on referee "Blind" Jack
Doane! Hart with chops (woooo!), Goldust reverses and chops (woooo!) -
whip to the opposite corner, Hart steps asside and Goldust hits hard.
Neckbreaker by Hart, second rope elbow, 1, 2, no. "Nugget" chant. Whip,
reverse, clothesline by Goldust as Hart comes out. Hart dropped - some
move involving Goldust's butt. Bulldog by Goldust...DEBRA McLEGS and
JEDOUBLEF
JADOUBLEREDOUBLET
are out - *Debra* flashed Goldust (DAMN those
judicious camera angles!) and although Goldust is distracted, Hart must
also have been distracted because Goldust hits the inside cradle for the
pin. (4:20)
Lawler is apoplectic: "They were PINK!"

Split screen shows Austin and Mankind - later tonight they'll team up to
take on the Rock and the Undertaker, in case you've forgotten in the past
ten minutes.

Michael King Cole stands in front of Big Ben instead of a door - they must
be in England! D'Lo Brown reminds us - and anybody who'll listen - that
he's European. Al Snow appears, I think I hear Dok Hendrix' voice. Clips
of Capital Carnage (no wrestling, of course), lots of Limey fans, and lots
of...oh who cares.

GODFATHER & VAL VENIS (with four -
errr, two ho's) v. ACOLYTES (with
Jackyl) - before the second entrance, Venis and
Godfather have a "who can
suck more on the mic" contest. Godfather says he'll offer a ho to
somebody in the audience. Godfather picks the guy holding out money.
That guy looks familiar...but I won't make that joke. He says his name is
"Bob." No...I won't make THAT joke. Godfather gives Bob BOTH ho's for
the whole night. And they say the Spirit of Christmas is dead. Bob will
probably be found later tonight in a dead heap on the floor. Faarooq and
Bradshaw come out to the Interrogator's old theme, thumbs up. It's a Pier
Four brawl all the way, inside, outside, hitting the STEEL, punching,
kicking, whipping, referee "Blind" Tim White decides this match will never
get properly started and calls for the bell. (about :48) Jackyl looks on
... and likes what he sees. So do I. We need more Jackyl. And Faarooq
looks in the best shape of his life (well, of his WWF career anyway)

Backstage, we see Steve Austin ... WALKING. Man, that's exciting! But
WHERE is he walking? WHAT will he do after he's done walking? Find out
after this short break!

And now JVCkaboom!box presents the JVC Kaboom! of the week! From last
week's RAW, Austin hits a ping shovel shot of his own on the Undertaker,
getting a little revenge for the shot Undertaker gave HIM.

I hear glass, must be time for an ass. It's STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN come
out to say the same damn thing he's been saying for the past eight months
or so. The TV-PG-V box is out which must make this the War Zone.
Apparently, they had to import a lot of dirt from the US because
Vancouver's fresh out and they need dirt to have a Buried Alive match.
Big ol' "Austin" chant. "For the last few months, here in the World
Wrestling Federation, with the title or without, Vince McMahon has seen
fit to throw everything that he can at Stone Cold Steve Austin and somehow
I've always managed to scrape by. That's all fine and well, but six days
from now at Rock Bottom in a Buried Alive match, in my opion, the stakes
are stacked higher than they've ever been for Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Undertaker, you come out here, talk about sacrificing me, about wanting my
soul, you hit me in the head with a shovel, you tried to bury me, tou
tried to embalm me and none of that worked...in the Ministry of Stone Cold
Steve Austin, at Rock Bottom, you can bet your ass that you can expect no
mercy from Stone Cold Steve Austin..." The familiar music plays, and the
purple lights are on - Undertaker's theme plays as the lights show a large
wooden - THING - which is at the top of the ramp. We don't see him but we
hear the voice: "Austin, we've traveled down the highway to hell, and the
journey has enlightened us on a few matters. One, you're helpless against
my Ministry, and the other is that I can take your rotting soul any time I
wish. Tonight our journey stops in your purgatory where you will remain
until Rock Bottom, and on that night, boy, I will sacrifice you to the
Ministry of Darkness and let the entire world watch you get buried alive
and burn in hell" - and the THING that we've seen bursts into flames -
pretty cool lookin'. Apparently, that's the Undertaker's symbol - well,
okay. Looks like a T with an X superimposed on it. What's that, you want
to see it? Well, because you're too lazy to go find it on wwf.com, here
you go:

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Replay of the symbol alighting ablaze - you know what this needs? Oh,
wait, it DID have lightning bolts! My bad, I missed it. Never mind.

STEVE BLACKMAN (with Riggs & Murtaugh)
v. TIGER ALI SINGH (with El Babu Ricano) - let's
take you back to last week where Blackman dressed up as the Blue Blazer to
pull one over on Owen Hart. Singh is in a bad mood, I guess, because he
WAFFLES Blackman with his flag before the bell. Math proper starts,
punches in bunches, but Blackman comes back with kicks aplenty, lariat
(weak) over the top rope, Blackman follows, more brawling, back in, all
Blackman, spinebuster, standing dropkick, punches, chops (woooo!), it's
all Blackman and it is good. Blackman over the top rope and a hot shot
catching Singh on his way down. Blackman is STILL all over him. Here's a
slam. Shoulderblock to the back. Whip, Singh FINALLY hits a kick and
some offense, but Blackman hits a chop (woooo!) and a missile
shoulderblock, the Lethal Kick, 1, 2, 3 (2:14). Wow, what a squash.
After the match, BLUE
BLAZER runs to get at Blackman, but trips on his
way down (that's it! He's the SHOCKMASTER!) and while Blckman takes it to
Blazer, OWEN
HART comes down and slams Blackman on the STEEL
ramp, then applies the Dragon Sleeper while shouting "YOU brought me out
of retirement! I'M the Lethal Weapon!" Owen's music plays even.
Bizarre - a pretty-much squash (which was the right thing to do, by the
way) followed by a big-time beatdown by the heel in this upcoming PPV
match. Since when did EITHER federation do something so right? I could
get into this Rock Bottom thing yet.

Mankind, still walking around, looking for Austin, apparently, as he finds
the door with "Stone Cold Steve Austin" on it, and goes behind it. Let's
take a break! Maybe when we come back we'll find out what's in the
garbage bag he's carrying.

The Year-End issue of Rolling Stone has a big article on Stone Cold Steve
Austin - just look for JEWEL (who sucks) on the cover!

Shot of the door. Kevin Kelly is not standing in front of it.

MIZARK HENRY (with D'Lo Brown) v.
LEGION OF DOOM DROZ (with Legion of Doom Animal) -
let us take you back to last week as Henry shows us he's a dancing
machine. These Legion of Doom guys seem familiar - Henry whips Droz, duck
clothesline, but not the second time. Henryh with a big punch, and
another right. Droz comes back with a punch. Henry with a rake of the
face. Whip, lariat. Right, right, is Cole losing his voice? He's never
had to do a second hour before. Droz manages to get Henry through the
ropes to the outside, and now he's punching and kicking away. Double
feature shows Droz stepped aside and Henry went through the ropes. Droz
breaks the count, then continues to work over Henry. Three point stance
into a clothesline. Referee "Blind" Dave Korderas tries to put on a
count, and Droz tells himto watch for Brown's interference instead. Whip
is reversed and Henry runs into the STEEL steps. CHYNA is out now as Droz
gets a 2. Droz wth a whip and a shoulderblock. Hey, there's her ass
again! Explosive shoulderblock by Droz. Chyna is on the apron - Droz
holds up Henry for Chyna to hit him but she doesn't. Droz wants to know
what's up, and Chyna slaps him. Henry hits the big splash and scores the
pinfall. (3:27) So what's up with
that? Stay tuned!

Backstage, Michaels and the Outlaws are in a huddle with the Boss Man and
Ken Shamrock.

WWF Rock Bottom is brought to you by Glover. If THAT doesn't make you
love the glove, well, nothing well.

TRIPLE H & X-PAC (with Chyna) v. BIG
BOSS MAN & KING KEN SHAMROCK in an "Anything Goes"
match - Oh boy, I've really missed Helmsley's
Michael Buffer satire. not. X-Pac and Boss Man start - Boss Man still
has the baton. X-Pac has the crotch chops - they don't look like they
would hurt as much. Boss Man says he doesn't NEED the baton against that
pipsqueak, and proceeds to deliver a man-sized ass-whupping. Slams and
punches. X-Pac ducks a lariat and delivers a kick. Tag to Triple H, who
steps aside a charging Boss Man and takes him to the buckle. Lots a
kicks, whip into the corner, lariat as he comes out. Boss Man rolls out,
then takes Helmsley out with him. BUt it's Hunter with the punches and
Bossman meets the barriacde. Bossman hits the STEEL steps and X-Pac
delivers some punches on top. Shamrock runs over to take care of Helmsley
as Bossman gets the upperhand on X-Pac. X-Pac meets the steps while
Helmsley is slemmed on the ramp. Bossman picks up the steps and runs at
X-Pac, but he steps aside and Bossman hits his head on the steps on the
post. Hunter reverses a suplex and Shamrock hits the ramp hard.
Helmsley throws Shamrock back into the ring where X-Pac is waiting.
Chops (woooo!), Shamrock tries to fight back but Helmsley is there, whip
into the corner, lariat, X-Pac is back up and here's the bronco buster.
Bossman is back in with his nightstick and X-Pac goes down. Whip,
powerbomb, 2, count. Bossman throats X-Pac on the top rope, and the Kid
ties up an arm in the process. Punches in bunches, rear chinlock. And
now the OUTLAWS
and COMMISSIONER
MICHAELS are out to the ringside.
Helmsley is keeping his eyes on Shawn. Gunn has visited the eyebrow
piercing guy. X-Pac has finally fought out of the hold, ducks a
clothesline off the ropes, but eats a boot. Tag to Shamrock. By the way,
I bet the Outlaws turn back tonight - isn't that cynical. Shamrock is
having his way with X-Pac while the crowd chants "Shamrock sucks." Whip
into the corner hard, lariat as he comes back. Front chancery by Shamrock
and he keeps stretching on him. Gunn is doing a mocking "Go X-Pac go"
chant. X-Pac punches out, ducks a clothesline and delivers one of his
own. Both men down. If this is anything goes, why are Bossman and
Helmsley waiting for a tag? Shamrock has the ankle, but there's the
enziguiri, and there's the tag to Triple H, who is the proverbial house on
fire. Clothesline for Bossman - knee to the chin for X-Pac. While
Helmsley does the Ten Punch Count Along on Shamrock, Michaels pulls the
top rope, taking out X-Pac. Michaels throws a chair in to Shamrock. Now
Gunn wants the chair so HE can hit Helmsley - oh man, who can see this
coming. Gunn takes the chair to SHAMROCK, who falls like a big tree. I
*believe* we just had a DQ in the "Anything Goes" match. The WWF *sucks*.
(8:19) Michaels is livid,
DX is posing in the middle of the ring, they
got two words for McMahon, and Cole's voice is completely shot.

Mankind exits that door, which I BELIEVE has gotten more air time than Mr.
McMahon tonight. We don't see Austin. What's up? Well, let's take an ad
break and maybe we'll find out!

Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago where Gunn chairs Shamrock, causing
referee "Blind" Mike Chioda to be so surprised, he called for the bell
even though it was an "Anything Goes" match.

Backstage, DX gloat about How Clever They Are.

Backstage, Steve Austin enters his locker room (oh, so like, he was never
there, that's probably why it was so quiet). He reads a note from
Mankind. "Steve have a cold one on me, I'm off to find Rocky - Mankind."
Austin opens the garbage and retrieves a frosty beverage. "Stupid
bastard," he mutters, and takes a swig. Awww, Mankind is so CUTE. Let's
take ANOTHER ad break (I hope this is it).

Oh boy! BEACHES is on tomorrow!

THE ROCK(Y MAIVIA) & THE UNDERTAKER
(with Paul Bearer) v. MANKIND & STONE
COLD STEVE AUSTIN - Since when is the federation
Champion the first guy
entering the ring? Since the Champion is the least popular guy out of the
four. This is actually the first time all night we've seen the Pale
Destroyer, with ten minutes to the hour. I just thought that was worth
mentioning. Hey, no McMahon speeches for the second week in a row either.
I don't know HOW these guys manage to win the ratings every week. (That's
sarcasm.) Mankind decides to try to start fighting as soon as he hits the
ring. This proves to be a bad idea as the doubleteam takes hold. But
then the glass breaks - and Undertaker leaves the ring - but the Rock
charges ahead first. Austin takes control over the Rock while Mankind
runs at Undertaker. Now they're paired off at different ends of them
ramp, Austin and Rock at the top and Undertaker and Mankind at the bottom.
This isn't exactly "scientific," you know. Judicious editing fails to
show us Jim Ross sitting at ringside. Nothing worth writing home about
here, just a lot of brawling around the ringside area. They're still in
the same pairings - Austin tastes the STEEL steps while Mankind sits on
the barricade and absorbs blows from the Undertaker. Austin manages a
trick knee back kick to the crotch to gain momentum. Rock over the
barricade and Austin following, meanwhile, Undertaker and Mankind are in
the ring. Rock with a right that fells Austin. Mankind whipd,
Undertaker, but he ducks - CHOKESLAM! Boots to the head. It looks like
Austin and the Rock are FINALLY in the tag positions. Mankind's throat is
'cross the rope, and now the Rock is over to help with the choke. We are
reminded that the Undertaker's symbol was lowered from the ceiling and set
ablaze earlier in the show. Tag to Rock - punch near the heart by Rock.
Rock with a series of rights. Rock threatens Earl Hebner while Undertaker
gets in a shot of his own. Mankind tries to tag but gets caught by the
Rock short of his goal. Rock gives Austin a shot for good measure. Head
to the ... lower abdomen by the Rock. Tag to the Undertaker. Kick.
Repeated boots to the head. Right hand. Mankind wanders into the wrong
corner and the Rock hits him as well. Doubleteam. Austin has had enough
- he runs around to the other side and pulls Rocky off the apron. Mankind
finally gets control with a swinging neckbreaker. Both men down and
Undertaker does the Zombie situp. Tag to the Rock, who stops Mankind
short of Austin again. Bodyslam - it could be time for the Corporate
elbow. Hey, Mankind's not supposed to sell THAT! 1, 2, kickout. Whip,
reverse, kick to the gut, double underhook DDT attempt is countered by the
Rock. And here's the Rock Bottom! 1, 2, Austin breaks up the count.
Undertaker is in and Undertaker is all over Austin. Austin goes down.
Austin thrown out of the ring, Undertaker follows. Now they're back and
forth on the outside. KING KEN
SHAMROCK & BIG BOSS MAN are in the ring.
The bell is called for (DQ?
8:15) and Mankind is cuffed to the ropes.
Undertaker is continuing to work over Stone Cold while Mankind helplessly
tries to get anywhere he isn't cuffed and fails. And now Austin is coming
back! Choke with the mic cable! More referees are out but there's no
clean break here. Undertaker has the bell - and CLOCKS Austin with it!
Paul Bearer hands his man a chair - and Austin is LEVELED again.
Undertaker has Austin draped over his shoulder. The DRUIDS are out.
Austin is tied to the T-bar as Gregorian chants play over the PA. "What
the hell are they doing?" Undertaker stands over Austin, who has come
back. "Undertaker I'm gonna gitya you sonuvabitch!" The symbol is raised
- Undertaker's music plays under the Gregorian chants and Undertaker
stands in front of Austin and rolls his eyes back in his head - raises his
arms to the sky, and Lawler goes on about the incredible example
Undertaker is making of him. Undertaker's voice comes over the PA:
"Austin, I've taken you - mind, body and soul. The only thing left is to
bury you alive."

So when does he crucify him, for God's sake?

A lot of people wrote me last week asking me for my opinion on the whole
deal. EVERY time I responded thusly: "well, it's really lame and stupid
to make an opinion on something before you've actually SEEN it." I hope
everybody remembers this next time, because I was right. IT - WAS - NO -
BIG - DEAL. Certainly not worth getting your panties in a bunch or
holding a candlelight vigil to pray for forgiveness at 8:58 because you're
about to turn on RAW. I also hope that several web writers who took great
pains to get their "inside" opinion on this thing out on the Webbefore the
airing catch themselves next time Vince tries to orchestrate something
that would do it again. (Yeah, even my good friend on WM who fell for
it.) Of course, I'm just bitter because they made it impossible for me to
avoid the spoilers before watching the show.

But Good Lord, people, this wasn't even CLOSE to the "Pillman's gun" show.
Ask Joe Pedicino. He posted an editorial on rec.sport.pro-wrestling soon
after that show saying a line had been crossed and wrestling would never
be the same. I really respected the guy, but he was wrong then. It was
YEARS before wrestling would never be the same - but I like it fine now,
no, not all of it, but enough to keep watching. Don't go out of your way
to proclaim the death of pro wrestling, ESPECIALLY when you're basing it
on something you haven't seen.

Hmm, what was I talking about? That's why I stick to show reporting - my
editorials tend to meander. See you Sunday at Rock Bottom!