Friday, August 12, 2011

Literally, shit everywhere. Z is not fully potty trained (I know, I know, he's almost four...blah blah blah, don't judge me!!!), he will not poop on the potty. Just won't do it. He usually poops in his pants, takes his pants off & comes to find me. Tonight, he forgot the come & find me part...so the dog took over. Seriously, probably the grossest thing I've ever had to do. The dog ate Z's poop & smooshed it into my rug while I was trying to make mac & cheese from scratch while the children watched a show. This, my friends, is the story of my life. So, the long & short of it is, the rug got a good scrubbing, the dog got a bath & I tried desperately to not gag in front of the 3 year old. Not easy stuff.

I hate being pregnant. There, I admitted it, I said it "out loud" I hate being pregnant. I love my son & will love this new baby too, but I am not a happy pregnant person. Those women who say things like "oh, I love being pregnant, it's such a gift" blah blah blah...yeah, I want to punch them in the face! Ok, figuratively, not literally!!!

Here's why I hate pregnancy:

1. I am not in charge of my body. I can't eat/drink what I want, I have to be careful how much sun I get, how much water I drink, etc.

2. I CRAVE red wine. This happened when I was pregnant with Z too. I crave it. Funny thing about that, I really don't drink much wine anyway, and I switched to Sauvignon Blanc when I do/did drink wine because it's lighter. But still, I crave it.

3. I have very little patience for anyone & anything.

4. I hate the feeling of the baby moving. It freaks me out and makes me feel like an alien. With Z, I didn't feel him all that much. This baby is a gymnast inside me! He's having a blast while I'm suffering the consequences.

5. I have to pee ALL THE TIME.

6. I hate having to pee in public.

7. Climbing stairs is an event for me & I'm winded by the time I get to the top, making me feel even larger than I am (and I'm pretty large right now)

8. If one more person asks me if I'm having twins, I'm going to deck them!!!!!

9. Being pregnant scatters my brain, & I hate feeling stupid.

**Note: I never finished this blog, & haven't had a second to update it since I wrote it last year. The baby is wonderful & I love him more than I could have imagined. BUT, I'm done!

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About Me

I am a nearly 40 mother of 2 children who are both charming & devilish - sometimes within the same sentence. I work, I play, I read & I write...oh, and I enjoy a great cocktail every now & then. I write about my witty children and my general observations of my life. Sometimes it's sarcastic, sometimes it's not & usually it's full of the colorful language that I can't use in front of the children.