Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.

Curiouser and curiouser.

I won't slay anything. I don't slay, so put it out of your mind.

How's this for muchness?

You could always paint the roses red.

Six impossible things. Count them, Alice! One: There's a potion that can make you shrink. Two: And a cake that can make you grow. Three: Animals can talk. Four: Cats can disappear. Five: There's a place called Wonderland. Six: I can slay the Jabberwocky.

[to the Jabberwocky] Off with your head! (Kills it)

(last lines; to a blue butterfly landing on her shoulder) Hello, Absolem.

Alice: Who's to say what's proper? What if it were agreed that "proper" meant wearing a codfish on your head? Would you wear it?

Alice's Mother: Alice.

Alice: To me a corset is like a codfish.

Lady Ascot: Do you know what I've always dreaded?

Alice: [casually] The decline of the aristocracy?

Absolem: Who are you?

Alice: Absolem?

Absolem: You're not Absolem. I'm Absolem. The question is, who are you?

Chessur: It looks like you ran afoul of something with wicked claws.

Alice: But I'm still dreaming!

Chessur: What did that to you?

Alice: Bannawood. Banda--

Chessur: The Bandersnatch! Well, I'd better have a look!

Alice: What are you doing?

Chessur: It needs to be purified by someone with evaporating skills or it will fester and putrify.

Alice: I'd rather you didn't. I'll be fine as soon as I wake up.

Chessur: At least let me bind it for you. [wraps up her wounds] What do you call yourself?

Alice: Alice.

Chessur: The Alice?

Alice: There's been some debate about that.

Chessur: I never get involved in politics.

Chessur: What's happened to you, Tarrant? You used to be the life of the party. You used to do the best Futterwacken in all of Witzend.

Alice: Futter-what?

March Hare: Futterwacken!

Dormouse: It's a dance.

[March Hare starts dancing a jig.]

Hatter: On the Frabjous Day, when the White Queen once again wears the crown, on that day, I shall Futterwacken... vigourously.

Knave: [has his arm around Hatter's throat] If you're hiding her, you will lose your heads.

Hatter: [strained] Already lost them.

Knave: You're all mad!

March Hare: Thanks very much. [Belches loudly]

Alice: [to Bayard] You were supposed to lead them away, the Hatter trusted you!

Bayard: They have my wife and pups.

Alice: What is your name?

Bayard: Bayard.

Alice: Sit!

Bayard: [Sits] Would your name be... Alice? By any chance?

Alice: Yes, but I'm not the one everyone's talking about.

Bayard: The Hatter would not have given himself up just for any Alice.

Alice: Where did they take him?

Bayard: To the Red Queen's castle in Salazen Grum.

Alice: We're going to rescue him.

Bayard: That is not foretold.

Alice: I don't care! He wouldn't be there if it weren't for me!

Bayard: The Frabjous Day is almost upon us. You must prepare to meet the Jabberwocky!

Alice: From the moment I fell down that rabbit hole I've been told what I must do and who I must be. I've been shrunk, stretched, scratched, and stuffed into a teapot. I've been accused of being Alice and of not being Alice but this is my dream. I'll decide where it goes from here.

Bayard: If you diverge from the path...

Alice: I make the path!

The Red Queen: [referring to Alice, who's just grown to a large size] And what is this?

White Rabbit: It's a who, majesty. This is... um...

The Red Queen: "Um"?

Alice Kingsleigh: [thinking quickly] From Umbridge.

The Red Queen: What happened to your clothes?

Alice Kingsleigh: I outgrew them. I've been growing an awful lot lately. I tower over everyone in Umbridge. They laugh at me. So, I've come to you hoping you might understand what it's like.

The Red Queen: My dear girl, anyone with a head that large is welcome in my court. [to her subjects] Someone find her some clothes, use the curtains if you must, but clothe this enormous girl!

[Alice smiles.]

Knave: [sees Alice] And who is this lovely creature?

Red Queen: Um, my new favorite.

Knave: What is her name?

Red Queen: Um.

Knave: [to Alice] I believe your name has slipped the queen's mind.

Red Queen: Her name is Um, idiot!

Alice: From Umbridge.

Hatter: What a regrettably large head you have. I would very much like to hat it. I use to hat The White Queen, you know. Poor dear, her head was so small.

Red Queen: It's tiny. It's a pebble of a head.

Hatter: Have I gone mad?

[Alice checks Hatter's temperature]

Alice: I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.

Chessur: I've always admired that hat. I was wondering...since you won't be needing it anymore...perhaps you would consider bequeathing it to me?

Tarrant: Excuse me? I'll have you know it IS a formal execution. I'd like to look my best.

Chessur: It's a shame about all this. I was looking forward to seeing you Futterwacken.

Tarrant: I was rather good at it, wasn't I?

Chessur: I really DO love that hat. [Smiles slyly] I would wear it to all the finest occassions.

Alice Kingsleigh: I'm sorry, Hamish. I can't marry you. You're not the right man for me. And there's that trouble with your digestion. [walks over to her sister] I love you, Margaret, but this is my life. I'll decide what to do with it. [turns to Lowell, meeting his sour look with a stern glare] You're lucky to have my sister for your wife, Lowell, and be good to her. I'll be watching very closely. [goes up to Aunt Imogene and takes her hands] There is no prince, Aunt Imogene. You need to talk to someone about these delusions. [walks past Lady Ascot, looking sternly at her] I happen to love rabbits, especially white ones. [goes up to her mother] Don't worry, Mother. I'll find something useful to do with my life. [turns to the Chattaway sisters] You two remind me of some funny boys I met in a dream.

Lord Ascot: You've left me out.

Alice Kingsleigh: No, I haven't, sir. You and I have business to discuss.

Lord Ascot: Shall we speak in the study?

[Alice smiles and starts to head to the house, when suddenly she turns back to the crowd]

Alice Kingsleigh: Oh. And one more thing. [lifts the hem of her dress to her knees and does the Futterwacken]