Yes, the job I had when I was a real person...B.C. (Before Crazies)...when I was a teacher.

I guess you could say I'm still a teacher. I demonstrate. I model. I provide scaffolding...only on a much smaller scale.

Or on a much larger one depending on how you look at it. After all, I am providing the Crazies with the skills and abilities to one day become a fully functioning adult, right?

That's pretty big.

My FMLA is over and I must resign from my county. I haven't written the letter yet, but I will. I may cry. I may laugh. I may wonder if they're going to make me jump through hoops when I got back. The way I figure it, if I was already tenured when I had the Crazies, I should be just as capable, right? Puhleeze don't make me jump through those hoops again...for serious.

Anyway, I will do it...I will "officially" be unemployed for the first time in a whole lotta years.

You may wonder what I did before I found my love of teaching (and wiseass middle school kids) and I'm going to tell you...here is a run down on the jobs I have held...and lost:

Cashier at Marshall's - actually helped open the store...what a bitch that was, but at least it was clean!

Waitress at Houlihan's - love their Shrooms!

Worked at an inpatient home for schizophrenic adults that were over 60 and also mentally retarded.

Greeter at a car dealership (i.e. pretty girl that everyone got to stare at while I dressed horribly).

Car salesperson (God, hated this, but did make a good amount of money...they actually called a few years later and asked if I wanted to manage an Infiniti dealership...WTF?).

Quit b/c they wanted me to work 9-9 Monday through Saturday...that left very little time for partying.

Temp agency - they placed me at the World Trade Center in Baltimore (yes, that is a real place and it did not get blown up...too soon?) and I made it for one day. I couldn't figure out or afford the parking. I hated the walking. It was just too hard.

Temp agency placed me with a marketing firm.

Customer service manager with said marketing firm.

Quit b/c I was sick of making rich people richer.

Had no job...cue mother hyperventilating every day.

Waitress job at local seafood joint.

Went back to school for a Master's degree in Education...achieved that in one year (while working at seafood joint and student teaching...I was a psycho).

Taught 5th grade for a year (maybe 2)...it was okay.

Moved to NJ and taught 7th grade math for 2 years...loved it.

Moved to MD and taught 8th grade Algebra for 3 years (maybe 4...I have no concept of time)...loved it.