Ethics of attraction/arousal

Some people argue that it is unethical/perverted to be aroused for reasons other than producing a child from the person one is married to. For example, some people say it is unethical to look at an image of beautiful person if that image causes arousal.

In my opinion, the ethics of attraction are dependent upon the thoughts that ensue.

For example, assume two people (Person A (Mr. Asshole) and person B (Mr. Benevolent)) look at the exact same image of a woman. Person A views the image and thinks about wanting to violently rape that woman … But person B looks at the image and thinks about wanting to love, protect, befriend, kiss, cuddle, lovingly caress, and/or consensually make love to that woman.

Both people are aroused by the image, but since person B’s attraction is benevolent than his attraction is NOT unethical/perverted. However, person A’s attraction, without a doubt, is immoral because of his heinous thoughts.

What are your opinions about the ethics of arousal/attraction? Do you agree with what I said or do you have a different philosophy/opinion about the ethics of attraction?

no just because we all create our own morals doesn't mean they are equal. Some morals are better and more intelligent.

i agree with anonymous's opinion. people should get be together out of love, not of primitive animal instinct to lust for that persons body (not trying to be arrogant/offensive but its true isn't it? its just a natural animal urge. and i try to suppress it cause we should try to evolve past beastliness[as much as possible]). well they should if they want a decent meaningful relationship that is. If people get together just to have sex thats fine, but you should still love that person and respect then. not think of them as an object to be used and thrown away like trash.
I think the world would be a better place if people got together out of love for each other instead of lust.

Some people argue that it is unethical/perverted to be aroused for reasons other than producing a child from the person one is married to. For example, some people say it is unethical to look at an image of beautiful person if that image causes arousal.

In my opinion, the ethics of attraction are dependent upon the thoughts that ensue.

For example, assume two people (Person A (Mr. Asshole) and person B (Mr. Benevolent)) look at the exact same image of a woman. Person A views the image and thinks about wanting to violently rape that woman … But person B looks at the image and thinks about wanting to love, protect, befriend, kiss, cuddle, lovingly caress, and/or consensually make love to that woman.

Both people are aroused by the image, but since person B’s attraction is benevolent than his attraction is NOT unethical/perverted. However, person A’s attraction, without a doubt, is immoral because of his heinous thoughts.

What are your opinions about the ethics of arousal/attraction? Do you agree with what I said or do you have a different philosophy/opinion about the ethics of attraction?

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Rape is rape. Rape isn't about sex. You put Person A and Person B's intentions in the same category, - "about sex" when rape isn't about sex at all. It's about abuse. It's about a horrific violation of someone's body, mind and boundaries.

From what you're writing, I wouldn't trust Person B at all as you've put them both in the same category- rape, or "loving consensual sex." Looking at what you've written, Person B could quite possibly be a rapist down the line, as he probably sees rape and sex as the same thing, and perhaps has problems with his own sexuality.

If two people want to fuck, then I see nothing wrong with that. You can have consensual sex and just do that. It doesn't have to be rape. Women have sexualities too you know, and may not want to be loved, cuddled and protected all the time and would just like to have fun.

In my opinion, the ethics of attraction are dependent upon the thoughts that ensue.

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I agree, I don't think arousal in itself is a bad thing. I compare it to anger. If I'm angry I may do something bad like hitting somebody, I may do something good like fighting for a just cause, or I may just let the feeling pass. It's wrong to label emotions as good or bad.

I think that person A and B are at fault, because they don't feel arousal and accept the simple reality of being aroused, instead they are straying from reality and creating fantasies for themselves. Personally if I can't have a woman I think "I desire her, but I can't have her", that's just reality, some people will say there's no harm in fantasizing that I could, I disagree, but that's a whole different topic for debate.

Rape is rape. Rape isn't about sex. You put Person A and Person B's intentions in the same category, - "about sex" when rape isn't about sex at all. It's about abuse. It's about a horrific violation of someone's body, mind and boundaries.

From what you're writing, I wouldn't trust Person B at all as you've put them both in the same category- rape, or "loving consensual sex." Looking at what you've written, Person B could quite possibly be a rapist down the line, as he probably sees rape and sex as the same thing, and perhaps has problems with his own sexuality.

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Rape and loving consensual sex are not the same thing. I never said or implied that. Re-read the post and thing before you write. If you cannot differentiate the two, PLEASE seek help now.

Ooh. By the way, rape is forced sex… so I don’t know where you got the idea that rape is not about sex and that it does not involve being aroused http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape

I don't see how a THOUGHT can be unethical at all, unless you live in some fucked up religious culture (you know where). In secular societies, ethics are purely based on actions.

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Can you separate thoughts and actions? Surely the way you act is based upon your thoughts, beliefs, opinions etc. And I agree that anyone can think what they want, but surely some thoughts are healthier than others, and people should cultivate 'good' thoughts rather than 'bad' thoughts?

Is it ethical to rape?
Is the situation just a "normal" guy out and seeing a girl and wanting to rape her ethical? No. While, maybe, you can make a hedonistic claim that it is because you're indulging in something that "improves" your live, or rather increases your happiness . . . . However, it is at the cost of another. So, the question now is should you value other people? If you can answer no you should not value other people, then rape is ethical. If you value other people then rape is unethical, because the act will not increase the happiness in your life.

Is it more ethical to want to breed or to fuck out of love? It's really more ethical to breed. Love is transitory, even if it lasts a life time it ends at death. By selecting more attractive people you increase the odds that your offspring will have them as well. So, I believe that is more ethical then selecting a fuck buddy because you "love" them.

Rape and loving consensual sex are not the same thing. I never said or implied that. Re-read the post and thing before you write. If you cannot differentiate the two, PLEASE seek help now.

Ooh. By the way, rape is forced sex… so I don’t know where you got the idea that rape is not about sex and that it does not involve being aroused http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape

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I'd ask you to do the same thing, re-read my post and re-read your post. You clearly haven't read or understood my post (and maybe do not understand what you, yourself were implying in your original post) or perhaps you didn't enjoy my distrust/questioning of your so called "benevolent" Person B? Or was it my suggestion that women have their own sexualities? I wouldn't know. I'm not interested in wikipedia's definition or your definition of rape. I'm not replying to this thread further, as I do find you offensive, just to let you know.

I do agree to some extent about the differences between thoughts and actions that people have mentioned. Personally, I just don't like the original post and how the OP has responded to mine.

sex just for sex is fine, it's a good moral to at least respect that person though imo. Personally i only sleep with some one i love, even if it was a one night stand I would show that person love and appreciate the time we spent together. Sleep around all you want, I won't judge you for it. It has nothing to do with gender this goes for any body.

perhaps you didn't enjoy my distrust/questioning of your so called "benevolent" Person B? Or was it my suggestion that women have their own sexualities?

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Yes, I was highly offended by the fact that you claim Person B (a person who desire loving, benevolent relationships with ladies) will probably grow up to be rapist. I don’t know how you thought you could say something that mean without offending someone. I’m sure there are plenty of members here, including me, who desire loving relationships with ladies.

If some people only want to engage in random, unloving fornication … that’s their business. I never said I have a problem with people who choose to live that kind of lifestyle. Personally, I would feel horrible and immoral living that kind of lifestyle; however, I don’t feel it is my responsibility to tell others how to live their life.

no just because we all create our own morals doesn't mean they are equal. Some morals are better and more intelligent.

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It doesn't matter if there equal or not since it only matters to that person. Reality is that some people will do and think as they please whether anyone likes it or not.
This being said, no I do not agree with this mentality and approach, if the majority of society had this one dimensional view then we wouldn't get anywhere. Ethics are important, morals are important. It's one of many ways we will continue to grow and ascend.

By the way to add to this discussion, you guys are aware that there are some men and women who have rape fantasy's right? Both in a controlled environment and also seeking out a random person to accomplish this.

It doesn't matter if there equal or not since it only matters to that person. Reality is that some people will do and think as they please whether anyone likes it or not.
This being said, no I do not agree with this mentality and approach, if the majority of society had this one dimensional view then we wouldn't get anywhere. Ethics are important, morals are important. It's one of many ways we will continue to grow and ascend.

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I don't understand? Cause the way I see it. People may think the moral thing to do some times is really bad. My morals 5 years ago were much inferior to my morals now. Much better, wiser. I do respect peoples need to evolve their beliefs at their own pace, and experience things that are good for growing, making mistakes. and i don't impose my beliefs on others like religious zealots, i love freedom. I want morals that do the least harm on the world. If i went around burning people for being witches or gay etc than obviously i'm doing more harm than good. THat's what I think any ways. But there is a supreme set of morals in life If i have access to them It would be great. If you're smart enough you can get advanced morals with out having to make lots of mistakes before. Evolve faster or grow and ascend as you say. It would be good if the people in power could realize a nuclear war would be a immoral thing to do before they actually make the mistake, update their morals to better ones.

Some people argue that it is unethical/perverted to be aroused for reasons other than producing a child from the person one is married to. For example, some people say it is unethical to look at an image of beautiful person if that image causes arousal.

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What are your opinions about the ethics of arousal/attraction? Do you agree with what I said or do you have a different philosophy/opinion about the ethics of attraction?

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I think some people have too much time on their hands and are way more concerned than they ought to be about what's going on inside other people's heads. Frankly, the very idea that it should matter to someone else what I'm thinking when I look at a given image is disturbing.

Can you separate thoughts and actions? Surely the way you act is based upon your thoughts, beliefs, opinions etc. And I agree that anyone can think what they want, but surely some thoughts are healthier than others, and people should cultivate 'good' thoughts rather than 'bad' thoughts?

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Can you say "thoughtcrime"? Think about it. The fact that this is even being discussed is kind of creepy.