Parental Alienation and the Family Courts

Parental Alienation in NC is a very serious problem that we consider child abuse, but seemingly nobody in the NC Family Courts and Legislature seem concerned about it. Each day, we hear from parents by the dozens who tell us that the other parent refuses to allow children to see them (usually the non-custodial parent) even when there is a court order to do so. In fact, we hear daily that Judges in the NC Family Courts routinely overlook cases of parental alienation in contempt hearings where they are found to be in violation of alienation but the Judge refuses to hold them accountable. If you are a NC non-custodial family member, be it a parent, step-parent, grandparent, or other member of the family, then we encourage you to join NC Fathers either by signing up for our email based MAILING LIST or FACEBOOK PAGE where we routinely discuss parental alienation and the NC Family Courts. Our GOAL is to build a very large group of NC non-custodial families who have had enough with the laws in North Carolina which have a huge impact on non-custodial families and their children. Additionally, in this article we are going to discuss many of the reasons why custodial parents routinely alienate a child from a non-custodial parent and why we consider it so abusive. But one thing is for sure, nothing will be done about this until millions of non-custodial families in North Carolina stand up to Judges and Legislators and demand changes to how the Family Courts operate, and start holding these parents accountable.This is an important video for every Man and Woman in paternal families to watch. In this scenario, if at ANY time she would have picked up the phone and said “I’m scared”, the Father in this video would have gone to jail, lost his job, had his assets transferred to her, and stigmatized in society. Also important is the 4:35-4:52 mark in this video where she lets him know that at anytime, despite her behaviors, she can call the police and have him removed. And Domestic Violence only happens to Women huh?

If you have a story to tell about parental alienation in NC, then we encourage you to use the comment section below this post to tell us your story. You can remain anonymous if you wish. Furthermore, if you are a part of a non-custodial family in NC, then we encourage you to click on the RED and BLUE graphic below, read it, then share extensively on Facebook, Twitter, and other social networks so that other non-custodial families can get hooked into our organization and help us grow so that we have significant numbers to force reform in the NC Family Courts. Remember, non-custodial families come from every ethnic and culture, political party affiliation, and socioeconomic background. And, it’s important to point out that women in non-custodial families are being hit by the issues we will discuss in this article.

It is also important to note that custodial parents are not the only entity that is responsible for alienating parents in NC. For going on six decades now, the NC Family Courts have systematically been responsible for children and one of their parents not having the ability to be in each others life as they wish. Our system, by which one parent has to be custodial and one parent non-custodial (and having remarkably less time with the child) is the chief alienator in parents lives.

Parental Alienation in NC is Child Abuse

While Fathers are the primary group of people who NC who are alienated from their children by the Family Courts and Custodial Mothers, we do acknowledge that many Non-Custodial Mothers do suffer from this at the hands of Custodial Fathers.

So what is the root cause of parental alienation in NC?

Custodial parents have the belief that they are entitled to be the sole parent of the children because for decades the family courts have decided in their favor while pushing the other parent to the margins of kids lives.

Custodial parents will often alienate another parent from children purposefully, then go around telling the world that they are victims while seeking social services programs and support.

Parental Alienation in NC is alive and well because in our state the amount of time the non-custodial parent spends with the child is directly related to the amount of child support the custodial parent receives. Many custodial parents have become dependent on child support and need more and more. The easiest way to do this is to alienate the other parent and then run to the courts screaming abandonment.

Parental Alienation is particularly useful for parents that depend on the countless social services programs to exists, and therefore have no need for the other parent to be involved.

Custodial parents will often time be very subtle in how they perpetuate alienation of the other parent, but most often of the time the parent will constantly make horrible comments about the other parent in hopes of socializing the child into hating the other parent and deciding that they never want to see the other parent again.

Parental alienation is often used as a tactical tool in the NC Family Courts in hopes of putting a hopeful custodial parent in the winning column. How this happens is almost criminal. One parent will decide that their relationship or marriage is over, leave the home, move seven states away and force the other parent to find $20,000 to spend on a lawyer. Many times this can take months, at which point Judges say that because so much time has passed, you abandoned the child(ren).

creating the impression that the target parent was dangerous and planned to hurt the child, in order to instill fear and rejection of that parent.

NC Non-Custodial Parents and Families Must Stop Parental Alienation

As non-custodial parents, step-parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and even friends of our families, we know that parental alienation in North Carolina is a serious problem that affects our lives daily. But more importantly, it is affecting our children which often suffer great depression, anxiety, and ways of acting out because of the loss of a natural parent. Our organization is committed to fighting parental alienation and educating Judges in the Family Courts and Legislatures about this problem, but we will have no success unless every single non-custodial parent and extended family steps up and helps us. If the bias in the family courts is not enough, whereby Judges consistently allow for a system that mandates judicial alienation of one parent because of out-dated laws, parental alienation is salt in the wound. If you are reading this article as a woman in the non-custodial family, who is lamenting the fact that your son or daughter is being purposefully manipulated by a custodial parent and using your grandchild or step-child as a tool to do so, then we strongly encourage you to join our organization, either by joining our MAILING LIST or FACEBOOK PAGE and responding to the Legislative Alerts that we issue. Additionally, we hope that you will extensively share this article on parental alienation in North Carolina with other families using the popular social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter so that we can maximize our message.

Show Support For Ending Parental Alienation in North Carolina by Copying and Pasting the code below to your Website or Blog:

Learn more about <a href="https://ncfathers.wordpress.com/2013/02/11/parental-alienation-and-the-nc-family-courts">Parental Alienation and the NC Family Courts</a>.

What if you’re the mother? And the father lied and manipulated witnesses to testify against you in court? The judge that was familiar with the case… his snatching my daughter over Christmas for 3 weeks, his trying to have my Thanksgiving plans canceled by court order (plans that have been in place for MONTHS and he knew about) so that my daughter couldn’t go to visit my parents or her cousins. I got a new judge 12 days before my trial. My old judge had a brain tumor and had to step down. The new judge had NEVER tried a custody case in her life! His lawyer is known for standing up for dead beat dads and winning. I told my lawyer to keep the focus on my daughter. He did. His lawyer kept the focus on me! He made very theatrical testimony saying that I was dangerously depressed. Tried to have my custody completely stripped away and asked for child support and legal fees. The judge took legal custody away from me until I had a psych eval. I had the psych eval and the psychiatrist was appalled at how the legal system was abusing it’s powers! He recommended that my ex have one as well… he also recommended that there be a social worker to visit both homes and talk to the child. He recommended a full custody evaluation so that the truth could come forward. The judge looked at it for 15 mins, and then without reviewing her decision from 10 months prior, made the temporary order permanent. Now I have no legal say in her life. All medical and educational phone calls and correspondence goes to his house, and all the bills are in my name and go to his house. I don’t see the bills until they show up on my credit report. Before he won medical custody, she had been to the doctor 38 times over her lifetime. He took her only twice. Both without informing me, and both to a doctor she had never seen and didn’t have a medical history on her. The only reason he did that was because his lawyer informed him that he would have to take her to the doctor. He wouldn’t even go to my appointments when I was pregnant. He wasn’t there for the ultrasounds and only stayed in the hospital a total of 1.5 hours after I gave birth. I was there alone the next 48 hours. When I got home, I was instructed not to drive. I asked him to buy me some things at the store because I couldn’t drive. He said “You’re fine… get it yourself. A guy shouldn’t be caught dead buying that crap!” So what happens when my daughter comes of age? Is he going to make her ride her bike to the store and get it herself? I lost medical custody to him!!!! I lost education to him! I had $4k in a coverdell scholarship for her for HS… I was putting $100 in a month. I had to wipe it clean to pay my legal fees. He never had any plans for her education. He lives in a 2 out of 10 school district and I live in a 10 out of 10… People would kill to live in the district I live in! He refuses to let her go to school here because it’s too inconvenient for him! He also changed her doctor… the one she has had since she was an infant… The one who gave me his cell phone number when she had severe jaundice because I was terrified she was going to have to be hospitalized. He doesn’t care about his daughter. He wants what’s best for him! And I went broke fighting for her… and still lost! Now I’m on judge 3. Judge 2 was taken off the bench after 6 months. No one will say why, but I’ve heard that she has made a lot of questionable decisions. Now, I can’t appeal the fact that I have to pay HIM attorney’s fees and child support! My attorney’s fees (for whatever reason I don’t know) were NEVER entered in! And child support was based on my business income BEFORE paying my employees, advertising, supplies, website expenses, etc. It was NOT based on my personal income. His mother moved in 2 weeks after the decision was made, so he no longer pays daycare expenses, and NOW he has someone paying for his bills and groceries. 38 years old! Lives with his mom, and takes a check from his wife… living in the home they bought together… 3000 sq ft. Has cable tv, internet, a gym membership, health insurance, a live in nanny/housekeeper/sitter… and I have NONE of that. So what can you do for a mom? Anything?

Sure it happens to moms, we are quite clear that our organization started out as a group of fathers when it WASN’T happening to moms to get the courts to stop the one parent or the other bullshit and go with shared parenting.

My ex continually violated my visitation rights and even went against court orders and was still granted custody.

For 3 months after my daughter was born, I was denied access to seeing her. My ex would have no dealings with me and refused to even take my phone calls. I took the matter to family court and got awarded graduated visitation until I finally got visitation every other weekend. She followed the schedule for a few months and then went against it on grounds that I was causing my daughter to be sick after each drop off and I was involved in fights, endangering my daughter. All of which I was able to disprove in court.

At the end of the case, the judge ruled suspicions of munchensen syndrome on the part of my ex, due to the fact that she was a medical practitioner, who knew how to manipulate symptoms and treatments. The judge ordered a guardian ad litem on our case and awarded a temporary 50/50 shared physical custody, which was to be revisited in 4 months. I was pro se, therefore, her lawyer had to prepare the order. The order didn’t get prepared until after a year plus. When the order was finally prepared, the original judge recused herself from the case and it was handled by another judge. My ex and her lawyer filed motions to set aside the 50/50 custody order that had been in place for over almost 2 years. That motion was denied by the new judge. She once again took the law in her hands and went against the temporary order that was in place, on grounds that it expired after 4 months. I was able to get an ex parte order from another judge for a couple days but the new judge terminated the exparte order and continued with the schedule. They appealed the 50/50 order. Appallant court denied the appeal.

A few days ago (after 4 years and 9 months of following the 50/50 order) we were scheduled back in court to make the order permanent. After 2 days of deliberations, without indicating how it would be in the best interest of our child, who is now 6 years old (she was just over a year old when the 50/50 order was passed) the judge issued a ruling that canceled the 50/50 order and reverted to every other weekend visitation and child support. I was baffled by the decision and am still in shock. I am a professional with 2 masters degrees, who earns a decent living. I am married and have 2 other children; living in a 5 bedroom home. I had witnesses who testified regarding my parental capabilities and caring for my daughter. The guardian ad litems even testified regarding how I was the parent who was always flexible and willing to compromise. They even stated how angry my ex was and recommended that she sought professional help. I cannot understand how a district court judge can totally ignore all of this and diminish my time from two full weeks in a month to 4 days in a month without any justification of how it is in my child’s best interest. This has impacted not only my relationship with my child but also with my wife and her siblings. In my opinion this isn’t justice and looks to me like an absolute example of parental alienation. I need help.

My ex wife and her entire family including her new spouse have refused to allow me to see either of my children for 11 years now. My daughter looked me up on Facebook a year and a half ago and we began to reestablish a relationship. When her mothet found out her new husband took away my daughters cell phone and tablet. They called the school and told them she was not allowed to use the internet. Last year i was able to obtain a custody agreement that left it up to my children if they wanted to see me. I was able to take my daughter to lunch 1 time before her mother informed her that her having a relationship with me was causing her little brother harm and emotional issues. My daughter was also told that after 6 months of bo contact that her stepfather can adopt them without my consent. This seems like what i just read about on this page and I have 2 questions. 1- Can her stepdad adopt my children without my consent? 2-Is there anything I can legally do in this situation?

When Child Support is Good, and When Child Support is Bad for NC Fathers (click the image below)Use the graphic below on your social media profiles to show your support in NC for equally shared parenting.