STEENY.https://christine148.wordpress.com
everything's spinning ❥Thu, 14 Dec 2017 00:12:14 +0000enhourly1http://wordpress.com/https://secure.gravatar.com/blavatar/54cc31385ed3e0b5bbefd798795ecf38?s=96&d=https%3A%2F%2Fs2.wp.com%2Fi%2Fbuttonw-com.pngSTEENY.https://christine148.wordpress.com
18 Dogs Who Ran Out Of F*cks To Givehttps://christine148.wordpress.com/2016/08/11/18-dogs-who-ran-out-of-fcks-to-give/
https://christine148.wordpress.com/2016/08/11/18-dogs-who-ran-out-of-fcks-to-give/#respondThu, 11 Aug 2016 02:55:25 +0000http://christine148.wordpress.com/?p=878]]>Ah, Dogs- The beloved members of many families. They’re protective, loving, and always happy to see us when we walk through the door. But, like the rest of us they have days where they just don’t give a shit anymore. And for that, we thank them.

1. This dog who just doesn’t give a f*ck about table etiquette.

2. This pup who isn’t going to take your crap anymore, dog.

3. “For the last time…I refuse to swim, Derrick.”

4. “This goes against everything that I am, but that treat looks good.”

14. “I’m an independent Woman.”

15. “Sleeping also burns calories, Kyle.”

16. This dog who understands your Monday struggle.

17. “How does no sound?”

18. “I can still see you, Carol. Take the god damn blanket off your head.”

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]]>https://christine148.wordpress.com/2016/08/11/18-dogs-who-ran-out-of-fcks-to-give/feed/0Dogs Coverchristine14841tumblr_n35w17oola1rg5peto1_250giphywekwegif-dog-is-so-tired-he-literally-falls-asleepwoman-faceplant-gif120054_subitem_fullzsaygDonut DogDog HaircutDog CostumeDog CouchDog StatueDog IndependentDog ExerciseDog ChairDog FlowerDog UnenthusedKirk Cameron Says “Wives Should Follow Their Husband’s Leads”https://christine148.wordpress.com/2016/07/11/kirk-cameron-says-wives-should-follow-their-husbands-leads/
https://christine148.wordpress.com/2016/07/11/kirk-cameron-says-wives-should-follow-their-husbands-leads/#commentsMon, 11 Jul 2016 20:00:28 +0000http://christine148.wordpress.com/?p=1062]]>Kirk Cameron, beloved 80s sitcom star and intellectual parakeet, has once again perched himself on the tree of Evangelical Christianity to cherp derp his beliefs. This time Kirk has focused on marriage and what he thinks maintains a strong bond between husbands and wives.

In a recent interview with The Christian Post, Cameron encouraged spouses to focus on their own responsibilities in their marriage and worry less about what their spouse could be doing to improve their relationship. “A lot of people don’t know that marriage comes with instructions,” said Kirk berp derp. “And, we find them right there in God’s word”.

(Don’t worry if your husband is gambling excessively or if your wife is drinking all of the wine from the blood of Christ cabinet at church. This is God’s plan.)

Cameron continued to say, “Wives are to honor and respect and follow their husband’s lead, not to tell their husband how he ought to be a better husband”.

You hear that, ladies? Who needs an education, friendships, hobbies, or goals? Let Jesus take the wheel…on the car that your husband lead you to.

(CAUTION: Don’t Windex them windows too well now, or the ‘keet might fly into ’em by mistake.)

P.S. I’m not married, but I can tell you if I followed my boyfriend’s lead I’d be wearing a violent amount sweatpants, consuming lukewarm Hotpockets, and playing some sort of game involving a headset on a regular basis. Unless you’re prepared for more and more women to fall into this kind of reckless behavior, Mr. Flerp Derp, then might I kindly suggest in Jesus’ name, shut the fuck up.

They can include more traditional words like family or friendship; or perhaps freedom if you’re some kind of self-proclaimed patriot. ‘F’ words can also be used in more serious ways such as to refer to social issues and inequalities, how we feel, what we eat. They can even refer to a person or thing in a more decorative and elegant way.

For example, “I believe freedom of religion is essential to achieving equality in this country.” And “Shut up you fugly Justin Bieber-like man child.” See? So colorful and so fun! The possibilities are almost endless (unlike the fries at Red Robin…because apparently seven refills is just too much for them).

It just so happens that my favorite ‘F’ words are f*ck and feminism. Why? Because feminism is f*cking important! Now before you light your technological device on fire and throw it out of the nearest window, hear (read?) me out. Social, political, and economic equality has not yet been achieved. Women (and women of color especially) are overwhelmingly denied access to resources and opportunities. This needs to be talked about. Loud and clear.

Feminism is not a trending topic. I am not “looking for attention” nor am I “trying to fit in”. And while we’re at it…I am certainly not denigrating men. I am also not going to start wearing my hair in a loose bun whilst spinning around in circles in a field of dandelions next to a willow tree while also learning to paint.

Feminism is not an attack on any one person. It is simply a critique of our behaviors, expectations, and the institutions that shape the way we view and treat women. You might be thinking: “What the f*ck does that mean, Christine?” Well, allow me to walk you through an as-brief-as-possible run down on what girls and women experience in this country on a regular basis. It goes a little something like this:

“Go outside and play! I don’t care what he’s doing; you need to stay close by.

Don’t go over there- your dress will get dirty.

You should play sports! Wait. Aren’t you too old for sports?

Respect yourself. He’s mean because he likes you.

Speak up, we can’t hear you.

Quiet down, everyone can hear you.

Say what is on your mind. That is no way for a lady to talk.

Wear makeup. Not too much, though.

Why aren’t you wearing makeup? Are you sick?

Be polite. You say ‘sorry’ too much.

It’s OK to not want children. A woman’s purpose is to have children.

Stay thin. Why are you that skinny?

Don’t walk alone at night. You were alone with him, what did you expect?

Be assertive. Why are you being such a b*itch?

Be more independent. Find yourself a nice boy.

You don’t have to laugh at everything he says. Why don’t you have a sense of humor?

Show them that you’re strong. What are you, insensitive?

Make yourself look pretty. What kind of attention are you after?

Support yourself. Does he mind that you support yourself?

Go to college. Don’t act too smart around him- it’s a turn off.

Make money. Don’t make too much money- that’s his job.

Build a career. Put your career on hold to have children.

Practice safe sex. What are you, a slut?

Make sure you always eat less than him. Ew, you should eat a cheeseburger.

You’re so smart! When are you going to learn to cook?

It’s your body. You can’t do that.”

Very overwhelming, contradictory, and hypocritical. It’s kind of like taking the blue and red pill at the same time in The Matrix and not being sure where you are or how you got there. Is this reality? Am I an illusion to a larger metaphorical hell where Red Robin stops refilling your French fries altogether?

How do we make it stop? Should we petition? Should we find a new burger place?

We need to stop pulling each other in different directions and start lifting each other up. Support women. ALL women. Compliment one another. Demand respect. Become so good at something that it makes those who wish ill of you furious. Be sincere. Don’t listen to those who try to stop you from reaching your potential. They are nothing but temporary obstacles trying to maintain the status quo.

You deserve better. I deserve better. We deserve better.

Whelp; meet me in the field of dandelions next to the willow tree. I’ll bring the f*cking paint supplies.

]]>https://christine148.wordpress.com/2016/06/28/my-two-favorite-f-words-are-fck-and-feminism/feed/0City Girlchristine148Amy Schumer ‘Explains This Photo’ With Jimmy Fallonhttps://christine148.wordpress.com/2016/06/27/amy-schumer-explains-this-photo-with-jimmy-fallon/
https://christine148.wordpress.com/2016/06/27/amy-schumer-explains-this-photo-with-jimmy-fallon/#respondMon, 27 Jun 2016 18:00:01 +0000http://christine148.wordpress.com/?p=865]]>On the most recent episode of The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, guest Amy Schumer provided an interview that many people won’t be able to top. For one, she made herself comfortable and sat like a queen. Which for her means lying completely flat in the chair and continuing the interview that way (good call because fuck those chairs).

She and Fallon also briefly discussed her being included on Glamour’s “Plus Size” issue. What did she say, you ask? Bascially just for them to get their shit together and to stop labeling people (insert slow clap here). The interview closed with her praising Jimmy for all of the imaginary charity work he probably did and how she hopes to one day tell people she ran a marathon.

The next segment of the show featured a new game called “Explain This Photo”. How it works is they switched phones and took turns picking out pictures from the other person’s photos that they felt needed an explanation. The game started with Schumer in the Bahamas with a large Pig and ends with Fallon crying in front of a Carl’s Jr. Watch for yourself. You won’t regret it.

]]>https://christine148.wordpress.com/2016/06/27/amy-schumer-explains-this-photo-with-jimmy-fallon/feed/0Fallonchristine148ChairIn Memoriam: Pacific Sunwearhttps://christine148.wordpress.com/2016/06/27/in-memoriam-pacific-sunwear/
https://christine148.wordpress.com/2016/06/27/in-memoriam-pacific-sunwear/#respondMon, 27 Jun 2016 14:00:31 +0000http://christine148.wordpress.com/?p=830]]>Oh, Pacsun- The holy grail for preteens and teens in the mid-2000s. Arguably one of the only places in malls across America that you could go into not knowing a damn thing about surfing and come out also not knowing a damn thing about surfing, but your outfit looked rad and also complimented your bleached tips. With the news of Pacsun filing for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy this week, it is only appropriate to pay homage to our roots in what I like to call: A Time When It Was Relevant. (Please hold all Lilu spritzes and trucker hat adjusting until the end).

10. Quiksliver Graphic Tees

Plz shed a tear as they’ve also filed for Chapter 11.

9. Denim Dresses

Complete with collar. T-shirt sold separately.

8. This crazy HAWT Billabong Jumper

You can find me in the club, bottle full of bub.

7. Roxy Tube Tops

Look at that sick bird design. It’s so realistic. Wait, are we in nature?

6. Them Cargo Pants

Stop being a bitch Chaz and wear your flip flops too.

5. Got that denim with the fur jacket

So…that’s def not kosher.

4. Black Platform Sandals

These were clutch. You know you had the perfect mini purse to go with.

3. These Sexual Visor Beanies

Whoa, Brad Pitt? Is that you?

2. Pleated Skirts

“That’s Hot.”- Paris Hilton

1. Mini Lens Sunglasses

Because you had to let people know you weren’t fuckin’ around anymore.

And with that…

]]>https://christine148.wordpress.com/2016/06/27/in-memoriam-pacific-sunwear/feed/0Pacsun2christine148QuiksilverDenim DressBillabong JumperRoxy TubeCargoDenimSandalsBeaniePleated SkirtMini Lens SunglassesPacsun AdPacsunpour-out-a-lil-liquorReasons To Never Trust The Childrenhttps://christine148.wordpress.com/2016/06/27/reasons-to-never-trust-the-children/
https://christine148.wordpress.com/2016/06/27/reasons-to-never-trust-the-children/#respondMon, 27 Jun 2016 12:00:33 +0000http://christine148.wordpress.com/?p=767]]>You may be wondering why this article is about children and/or more specifically why we shouldn’t trust them. You may also be wondering what kind of person I am to come up with such a topic. “Oh, but Christine…children are so adorable and so much fun!” Yeah, I hear you. They can be adorable. But just keep in mind…Hitler was once a child too.

You can never have wine again.

They can be just pure evil.

Having a good day? Not anymore you’re not.

Oh, btw: If you ever start feeling safe. Stop.

Well, at least they can be reasonable. Oh, wait. No they can’t.

These.

How do bathrooms work?

They do not give a damn about sleep.

Their weapon of choice: Throw up.

Whatever is happening here:

]]>https://christine148.wordpress.com/2016/06/27/reasons-to-never-trust-the-children/feed/0Tacochristine148Wine1Wine2Evil1Evil2Evil3ToiletCardMessValerieExchangeTileCarpetDoorPlaces1db33cdfa820d52035c79d882787a5dcrro9jowBathroomsBathrooms2Sleep1Sleep2Sleep3Throw Upbf961b516818bc96c806d3fb6a79ef221giphy1CornRemember The Westboro Baptist Church?https://christine148.wordpress.com/2016/06/27/remember-the-westboro-baptist-church/
https://christine148.wordpress.com/2016/06/27/remember-the-westboro-baptist-church/#respondMon, 27 Jun 2016 03:23:22 +0000http://christine148.wordpress.com/?p=744]]>Do you? Of course you do. They are pretty hard to forget, but just in case:

They can be found at various appropriate locations such as a funeral for a fallen soldier and a wedding ceremony for a same-sex couple. Not to worry, though. They mostly just sing songs at people and hold up colorful signs (ironic, no?) Their songs can only be described as a nursery rhyme that would have sounded better coming from Helen Keller’s mouth.

Ah, yes. Sometimes you just want to watch the world burn. And other times you just want to remain ignorant to all aspects of society. If you’re a member of The Westboro Baptist Church, you’re always up for both. Congratulations, you’ve somehow managed to live this long without accidentally stepping in front of a train because you felt Jesus calling for you.
(It is also important to keep in mind that these are probably the same people that keep Golden Corral in business, so please feel free to contact them here and thank them).

Well, as luck would have it (for us), right next to their church lies a nonprofit organization, Planting Peace, that aims to advocate for LGBTQ rights, the environment, and safe havens for children. The house is rainbow colored and appropriately named The Equality House, so naturally the WBC loves it.

Enter eight year old Avery. Avery is a trans child whom recently visited The Equality House. She says, “I loved the Rainbow House when it was painted like the transgender flag. I felt so happy and proud to be transgender”. This has since inspired her to open up her own safe haven for trans-peoples right next door to The Equality House. Planting Peace has decided to help Avery with her goal (and to low-key throw shade at the WBC).

Amazingly, The Westboro Baptist Church is beginning to accept the idea of a second colorful home opening up on their street. They have said that they are sorry for things they have said in the past and want to get to know their neighbors. Maybe the world isn’t such a bad place after all.
HA! Just kidding. They fucking hate it.

Pitiful little boy wants to make a "pro-trans" house in our block. If he was only taught a thimbleful of truth https://t.co/PcBA1YNupI

Wouldn’t that be great though? Suddenly they’d have a change of heart and decide to become besties with them. That would be the best episode of “Unlikely Animal Friends” ever.

Move over wheelchair Chihuahua, there’s only room for one handicapped group on THIS show.

]]>https://christine148.wordpress.com/2016/06/27/remember-the-westboro-baptist-church/feed/0Westboro3christine148Westboro2WestboroEqualityJusticeAveryAnimalFriendsHow ‘The Walking Dead’ Is A Lot Like Recovering From A Night Of Drinkinghttps://christine148.wordpress.com/2016/06/27/how-the-walking-dead-is-a-lot-like-recovering-from-a-night-of-drinking/
https://christine148.wordpress.com/2016/06/27/how-the-walking-dead-is-a-lot-like-recovering-from-a-night-of-drinking/#respondMon, 27 Jun 2016 03:07:15 +0000http://christine148.wordpress.com/?p=698]]>We’ve all been there. Your friend invites you out to celebrate the fact that it’s the weekend, you got a new job, they ended a bad relationship, or just your sad, pathetic life in general. You’re just both surprised to have made it this far without dying of the beetus yet.

You tell yourself you’re only going to have two beers, but six beers and four buttery nipples later and you’re up shit crick (as the southern folk say) without a map (because they’re not known for their intellect). But not to worry, recovering from a night such as that provides copious amounts of overlap with The Walking Dead. So, you’re basically a star. Congratulations you overachieving gypsy of the night.

It is at this point you’ll make the mistake of looking at your pale, dusty face in the mirror.

Then you start to remember all of the stuff you did the night before. Sure, your friends encouraged you to do them…that’s what they’re for. But then there’s also reality. And that’s to remind you that you’re actually a stupid, stupid bitch.

Now you have to locate where your stupid self left your keys, wallet, and cell phone.

Actual footage of you coping with what you’ve become.

When your friends suggest going to brunch.

You actually attempting to eat.

Stumbling across the photos from the night before. #glamourshots

People can say what they want, but you made it! You conquered a night out and and made the after effects your bitch. You’re a powerful moon soldier who can do anything. You go, girr.

]]>https://christine148.wordpress.com/2016/06/27/how-the-walking-dead-is-a-lot-like-recovering-from-a-night-of-drinking/feed/0Drinkingchristine1481247589-809667_yay_superanigif_enhanced-buzz-13283-1360192092-9WalkerWalker DoorNoahCoralc6ulqjeWell Zombietumblr_nlnc89cr8k1tx4dgoo2_500Brunch.jpgZombie EatingZombie CircleZombie GlassesHow To Help Your Parents With Technologyhttps://christine148.wordpress.com/2016/06/13/how-to-help-your-parents-with-technology/
https://christine148.wordpress.com/2016/06/13/how-to-help-your-parents-with-technology/#respondMon, 13 Jun 2016 21:34:08 +0000http://christine148.wordpress.com/?p=642]]>You try to do the right thing and keep your loved ones up to date on the newest technology because you’re a genuine snuggle Panda with a heart of gold. Then you remember that it has now become your entire life’s mission to fix every problem they encounter with their devices… until they die. However, I understand your frustration and that’s why I’m here to help with my step by step guidelines on how to survive such an oppressive circumstance.

1. Take a deep breath.

2. Pour yourself a shot.

3. Make sure the lighting in the room is efficient.

You know they have terrible eyesight and plus you are now able to watch your soul escape you as your body numbs and you become one with the spirits of your ancestors.

4. Make sure their battery power will sustain the duration of “the fix”.

Because no one needs to go through this shit again tomorrow.

5. Pour yourself another shot.

6. Calmly ask what the issue is while also attempting to smile.

The only one who can see through it is God and at this point this should no longer matter to you.

7. Proceed to ask follow-up questions.

Because their original explanation made no fucking sense.

8. Try your best to explain how to fix the problem.

In ways they will (hopefully) understand. For example “No, your friends cannot see you through the phone now because the screen brightness changed.” Or “No, ‘the texting’ isn’t broken”.

9. When that doesn’t work, pour yourself another shot.

10. Take the device and attempt

to show AND simultaneously explain that it isn’t broken, everything is going to be OK, and that they are very very stupid.

11. Say “You’re welcome.”

Then smile and hand them their device back quickly.

12. Walk away as quickly as possible.

To avoid any other soul sucking questions from being asked.

13. Pour yourself a celebratory shot.

YOU DID IT!

**It is also important to note that you should remain prepared to do all of this again next week because, “The emails don’t send. Maybe it’s because my volume is turned off.”

We will never see a bunch of Fraternity bros around a kegger and beer pong because it’s Earth Day. This will never be a thing: “Come in guys, Trey’s in the kitchen making green and blue jello shots.” “I’m just really happy to recycle.” Just no.

My point here is that we already have a balance between the “fun” holidays and those on the more serious side of things. So why is it now whenever we turn on our televisions or computers we’re forced to stare at some other mini holiday (i.e. Sweet Tea day, Chicken Sandwich Day)? STAHP! Mood: a group of overly enthusiastic pre-school teachers trying to get their non-receptive children excited about eating peas. They don’t want the peas, SHELLY!

Here’s a fun sampling at what this week has to offer us: Yesterday was National Toothache Day. Question…Are we to celebrate if we have a toothache or are we supposed to acquire a toothache in order to celebrate? Today is National Home Warranty Day. Your washing machine just broke, girl? Good. Let’s party. Tomorrow is National Shut-In Visitation Day. BUT Friday, though. FRIDAY is…ready for it… National Plum Pudding Day. Can’t they just combine the last two into one since the only people eating Plum Pudding are probably also shut-ins? Just a thought.

Whose job is it to sit there and come up with these? Their work description reads something to the effect of: Creates virtually pointless reasons to celebrate. Selfishly takes up people’s time. Tries to fill hole in own life. They should just team up with the person who creates paint color names. Here’s a fun list to get them started: Lukewarm Soup, Hoverboard Malfunction, and Slightly Racist. Is it a National Holiday? I don’t know. Is it a paint color? Maybe. See. Two Birds. You’re welcome Prescott and Trixie (that’s what I’d like to believe their names are).

]]>https://christine148.wordpress.com/2016/06/13/national-days/feed/0National Dayschristine148National Days FratNational Days Teacher