This week I encountered another surprised person. I had spoken to them on the phone, set up a meeting and showed up at the meeting. They were thrown back for a few minutes.

Why? People are often surprised to see me when we meet for the first time. I am a tall white woman. Not the short Asian woman they had connected with my name.

It is pretty funny to me but sometimes they act offended or like I lied to them. What?

Kim Joy is my married name. I am no longer married to Mr. Joy but my children still have the same father so I kept the name. My maiden name was Kim Steinmuller. I thought it would be a hard thing to explain why my name was different than my children so I kept Joy. Joy is Irish in this case. No where near Asian, huh?

Over the years I have been called Kim Joy and Joy Kim. I normally do not correct people because it will work itself out over time. Many people have told me to let others know when they miscall me but I am ok with it. I am not offended, life is too short. Even students call me Joy after months of class and when they realize they are shocked that I did not call them out on it. Why should I? Should I make them feel bad about messing up my name? Would I correct them readily if it was my given name? Probably, but I am not as attached to Joy as Steinmuller,

At one point after the divorce I was considering changing my name to Kim Ramsay Sellars. My maternal great grandfather was David Ramsay Sellars. I have some cousins that gave up their given name for Sellars and I was totally prepared to. But there were the kids and my business name and the memory of my Dad, Harry Robert Steinmuller, how could I just discount him and my love for him?

So I am Kim S. Joy and have been since 1987.

What is your name? Have people messed up your name? How do you feel? Let me know. Hopefully I have not called you by the incorrect name!