14 Signs Your Ex is Over You and Doesn’t Want You Back

One of the hardest things about moving on from a breakup is accepting that the person who used to be the center of your world does not want to be part of your life anymore. The difficult part is when you are left hanging, because you are not sure whether to wait or not.

However, knowing that your ex does not want you back anymore should push you to move on no matter how hard it is. If you do not do it, you will end up being pathetic from wallowing with bitterness while your ex is freely enjoying his/her new life.

Here are 14 signs that may help you realize if it is worth hoping for a reconciliation:

1. Your ex does not respond to your calls or messages.
This one is normal if s/he does not answer your calls and messages days after your breakup. Maybe, s/he just needs time and space. However, if after weeks and months your ex does not even bother to ‘seenzone’ your messages on Messenger, and s/he never picks up even if you call every day, then it is clear the person does not want to communicate with you anymore.

2. You get blocked or s/he changes mobile number.
When you get blocked on Facebook and his/her phonebook, it means your ex does not want you reaching out to him/her anymore. S/he may even change contact details to make sure you cannot contact him/her. When this happens, just respect the person’s privacy and stop looking for ways to communicate.

3. All your stuff are returned.
Usually, it is hard to return the things of your ex after breakup if you still love the person, because doing so is like letting the person go for good. That is why, if your ex gives you the stuff you gave him/her, it could be a sign that s/he is already letting you go.

4. Your efforts are taken for granted.
If after weeks or months you are still doing everything to win your ex back, but it seems like s/he does not care about it, then you better stop. You are only making a fool of yourself. If the person still wants you back, s/he would not ignore you for a long time, because s/he could not withstand taking you for granted.

5. Your ex does not make any effort to reconcile.
If over the weeks and months your ex never makes any effort to win you back or at least express how s/he misses you, then it is a clear sign. The person does not want to make any step that can rekindle your affection for each other, because s/he wants complete freedom from you.

6. S/he tells you ‘I’m tired’ with a sigh.
When a person gets tired of a relationship, s/he would not be eager to keep it anymore. So, if your ex does not want to get back together, and s/he tells you s/he got tired already, then stop pushing for it. You better give him/her space and time to rest.

7. The family does not welcome you anymore.
Usually, if you are welcome in the home of your boyfriend or girlfriend, you become part of the family. So, whenever you two fight, they would tell you to reconcile. They would even back you up to win him/her again. However, if this time the family is already cold to you, maybe it is because your ex made it clear to them that s/he does not want to be back with you anymore.

8. Ex is not interested to see you.
If your ex still cares for you, then s/he would be dying to see you again if given the chance. However, if after several invitations to dinner or coffee your ex never gives in, then it means s/he is not interested to meet up with you.

9. Ex seems irritated and unexcited to see you.
What about accidentally bumping into each other? If your ex seems unexcited and annoyed seeing you after weeks or months of being separated, then it means s/he is not interested to hear you or see you anymore. If the person still cares, that moment would be special and emotional for him/her.

10. S/he freely posts about a new date on social media.
Even if you already broke up, if your ex still loves you, s/he would not want you to be hurt. The person would not do anything that would push you away completely, because s/he hopes for reconciliation. Nevertheless, if s/he is dating someone else already, and s/he is open to the public about it, then that means you are out of the picture. It is like saying s/he is free, single and available to like anyone.

11. S/he does not care if you date someone new.
In the same way, if your ex does not seem to care if you find someone new already, then it means s/he is already over you. If s/he still cares, s/he would normally directly or indirectly express anger or bitterness. S/he could confront you about it, and may even cause him/her to realize and admit that s/he is afraid to lose you to someone else.

12. You are told you deserve someone better.
This line is a cliché usually used when dumping someone. Normally, this is an excuse used by a person to free himself/herself from the guilt of causing pain to someone. One who truly loves his/her partner would do his/her best to deserve that person. So, if your ex keeps on using this on you whenever you try to get back with him/her, then you have to think twice.

13. S/he seems happy and content with present life.
If breaking up with you was not a loss for your ex, then it would show in his/her aura. Yes, it is normal that s/he misses you, but if s/he seems getting by with peace and joy without you, then maybe s/he thinks the breakup was a good decision. You can tell this if s/he does not look stressed, gloomy and lifeless— the usual signs when a person is going through a tough time.

14. You are not chosen.
If there is a need to choose between you and another person, then whoever gets chosen is clearly the one holding the heart of your ex. If the other person gets picked over you, then you know the answer to the question whether your ex is over you or not.

It is okay
Life does not end when your ex’s affection for you ends. There are still a lot of reasons to go on with life. Do not focus on your loss. Instead, be thankful for the blessings you receive and value the people who continue to be there for you.

Joan is a freelance blogger who loves writing about personal development. She also loves learning and teaching languages. A Communication Arts graduate, she now pursues a masters degree in Language Teaching. She is into mobile photography, writing poems, and reading for leisure.

Reader Interactions

Comments

You are right about this. If the ex wants to get back together with a guy, she would put some serious effort; but when she is has lost feelings,etc… better to let go and find another one. Life is short to cry over the past 🙁 though first love always hurts.

That’s the truth I have 2kids with nine she is dating someone already after 3months of us breaking up and all I can do think about winning my family back. And her heart my kids are mad bc we are no longer a family

Listen I know that feeling but as time goes on it will get better . I was with somebody for 17yrs and out of nowhere she wasn’t happy and left me for a old school friend it was the worst yr of my life almost lost everything because I lost my wife . Then as the months went by I started talking to my ex of 33 yrs ago and we started seeing each other again . Thought this time this was a chance to get things right . All was great and fun . Then after about 6 month she decided we were totally different people and I needed more time and she just like her life the way it was . So I found myself alone again and missing her because she was my first love . And I thought I had her back after 33 yrs . But I was wrong . So now I turned my life over to Christ . And I thank him for what I have not what I don’t have . And decided to live for myself and my kids and if God wants somebody in my life he will bring them.

My ex told me he loved me and cared about me but it’s to much went out weekend didn’t Evan contact me to tell me where he was then I new He was with his mates as he answer the phone then told me he done with me . Then Sunday night on Facebook on my old account I reach out to him before and he message just excusing me being horrible saying he done putting lol and then he said to my mate tonight I’m not his problem anymore and his done with me. But we was fine all last week I stayed at his I don’t get what’s change but there been a lot family issues he family don’t like me mine don’t like him!

This article/author nails it. At least 11 of the 13 signs applied to my situation. What made my experience worse was that she kept saying she just needed some alone, independent time and she even envisioned us getting back together inthe future. This just strung me along alone for an extra year. But I held it hope because she didnt date anyone else the whole time…so I believed her. Then I finally found out that, all the while, she was with her married boss. What a waste of time and emotion…and it still hurts.
Sure wish I had seen this excellent article then. Nice work Joan!

I really miss my ex bf and I want him back in my life .. I just broke up with him almost two months now but I realized I want him in my life and I don’t know what to do to win him back I’m afraid to ask bcoz maybe he already moved on and maybe he doesn’t want me back anymore !!!

Do yourself a favor and just go for it . Yes , it will hurt if he’s moved on but at least you will have an answer . Don’t wait !! Then you’ll regret it for the rest of your life . If he means that much to you just tell him . Maybe you guys just needed a break and now can start working on the relationship ❤️❤️ Good luck

My ex girlfriend can’t stand me, I’ve done nothing but lie and take advantage of her financially. Now I’m hoping Karma doesn’t catch up with me. She’s over me, I don’t blame her I never was a true man or boyfriend.

I completely understand. I’ve been with mine for 11 years . I had no idea this was going to happen. We are still living together but , he’s on the couch and I’m in the bedroom . I don’t think there has been one day ever I haven’t cried these last two months . We’re not intimate either . I honestly thought we’d be back together . Sadly , it hasn’t happened. I love him very much . We were going to get married but , at this point a person can only try for so long . I’m starting to give up . Eventually he will have to leave otherwise I will never be able to move on . This whole situation has been one giant nightmare. I’ve been beyond confused 😐.

Well my ex has moved on its been a tough year I was being blamed for things I didn’t realize I was doing. A lot has happened my heart broken I still don’t get the point behind all that’s happened. HOWEVER OF HE WOULD JUST EXPLAIN THEN I CAN MOVE ON AND MY HEART CAN HEAL AN D MY MIND CAN BE AT PEACE.

My ex of 3 years dumped me 2 months ago saying he loves me but not in love with me. I begged pleaded for us to sort things out he said no. But I noticed his sending hearts to a girl half his age on social media and he said his not seeing her cant help but think something is wrong here they work together and she younger than his oldest child My heart is breaking cant stop thinking of him crying the whole time HELP

I break up with my ex cos i caught him cheating, now we have separated but I have realise I cant do without him, I want to forgive him and get another chance with him again but am afraid.. What should I do..what if he has already move on with the girl he cheated on me with..Hmmm please you guys should help me

Hi Ruth, I can feel your pain. I am in the same situation. My ex dumped me saying that we had different schedules, no time time to see each other and blah blah. But a month after break up he was all over a girl who is half his age and he has befriended on facebook and likes every single post of her. That’s so hurtful. The worst is I was told by a mutual friend who works with him (the girl also works with them) that he does not even hide intentions and flirts with her and touches her in front of other colleagues. Obviously, something is going on between them. Knowing that has helped me move on, and I feel nothing now, except indifference.

I was in a relationship with my ex for 2yrs then he blocked me bcuz of our arguments but he unblocked me after 2months and I forgave him and we decided to start over again, the sad part he was an athlete and we were in a long distance relationship then on his status on watsapp I find that he post a child that looked the same like him but he denied that is not his or of his relative but of her ex and he asked to be a step father nothing much so I was so angry that he lies about something obvious then I mocked him to tell him to stop talking to me and to block me everywhere but he didn’t block me until today.

Then after a month I missed him so much that I texted him yesterday to say “hi can we please talk”? but he read and didn’t answer me and I can’t get over him or to stop loving him so can I be helped

Was about to married my ex and all of a sudden, she did not answer my text and phone call. I keep texting her and she finally answer with sorry I can not get back with you and that we are only friend. I told her all I want is to see her face to face and have an explanation. I know she is going thru some hard time, so I just ask her why she make the decision. She did not answer my text. I try to give her time alone so I would just text her good morning and how r u. She still did not reply and so I called her and she refuse to pick up my phone. After a couple day she tell me not to look for her and that she have a new boyfriend to take care of her. She told me not to care for her anymore. I want to let go but I am really afraid something bad happen. What should I do?