The hitch of the fairer sex

I am a Woman. It’s a wonderful thing to be me. There are a lot of things that make life enjoyable and happy for me. But there are a few things that make it torture sentence though. Women in our country are respected by many people but in certain incidents and moments, it seems as though everything stands against us. Certain men ruin what few others build up, a sense of having freedom. It starts from a young age; apparently, a girl going through puberty is fair game for any random chap to cat call, eve-tease or pinch her waist. I was just a girl in her 7th grade. Most girls at that age would just run home and cry, but I retaliated- I slapped this random guy who thought he could pinch my waist and get away with it. I think maybe this is how every woman wants to react, but I think a combination of the feeling of weakness and societal conditioning makes them to meekly move away. Fast forward to ten years later, something happened which made me feel unsafe in my own country. It happens near a location called Jalahalli in Bangalore. A guy cat called me and made lewd gestures at me. Even as I tried to fight back, he held my hand and tried to hit me. All this happening in a crowded place and no one tries to do anything. Everyone just stared. JUST STARED. No one called the police; no one came to my aid.

Our schools and educational institutions are normally likened to temples of learning. But these places aren’t exactly exempt from any kind of harassment for a girl. In the guise of trying to forcefully put on headphones to make me listen to a lecture in the audio visual room, the instructor tried to “cop a feel”. First I thought it was a mistake but when he tried it again, I didn’t hold back, I slapped him hard enough to break his glasses (mind you, this happened in a very reputed coaching institute). I brought it to the attention of management who promptly removed him from the staff. But this wasn’t the last time to happen. At the same institution, a lecturer called me to his cabin; posing as a loving husband who missed his wife, he told that like all men he had certain “needs” and tried to convince me for sexual favours. He promised that he’d look after me very well and that “We can have some fun”. Disgusting is an understatement. I vented this to my friends who then went and roughed him up a bit; he didn’t try to have any “fun” after that.

It’s not all physical objectification and harassment, mental torture through making rude and disgusting remarks about my character. Most of the times, if a girl is extroverted or friendly; she’s a slut who’s trying to get her goals through shady means. Jealousy and insecurity made patrons of a well-known gym complain that the trainer and I were having something between us. Word gets around soon if a girl is having a relationship with a guy, even if said “relationship” is just a rumour. And then when I let people know about it on social media, I get threatened to be charged with defamation. I had to retract my statement and shut up about it. I have few questions for you all. Is the fact that I am a woman mean that I can be subject to unsolicited texts from any random guy? Does being friends with a guy make me a whore? Is it wrong to text or call a male friend? Is it wrong to ask to be dropped back home when it’s late and it’s raining?

Men think it’s okay to make a woman feel uncomfortable by ogling at her breasts. No, I’m not saying all men are like that, many of them are gentlemen. And no, I’m not a feminist, I stand for whatever I feel is right.

All this is just because I am a woman. I guess my face and my body are just invitations for harassment and objectification. It’s time the society realizes that it’s not just men we face all this from, the women are also the source of these oppressive things. Backward thinking of people, the unbridled courage of a few and the hesitation of the remaining will always be the reason why woman don’t feel safe. I will keep trying to fight for being myself because if I don’t, no one will. This, my reader, is not a rant, but a statement of what happens with most girls in my country. If you have done this, please change your ways and apologize if it’s an available option; if you’ve seen such a thing happening around you and kept quiet, fight the next time you come across such a situation. If you see a woman in trouble, I request people to help her. Afterall , she’s someone’s daughter, sister or mother. Change comes only if people strive for it.

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Published by Aishwarya Rakesh

I'm a journalism student and a social activist. I intend to give my take on current events and excerpts from my own life. I want people to understand the perspective of a simple but confident girl. I am open to corrections and any healthy discussion. You can get in touch with me through my email : aishwarya.r21973@gmail.com
Thank you Rajesha R for your constant support, you're my backbone. And thank you Suraj Premkumar for the beautiful pictures.
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14 thoughts on “The hitch of the fairer sex”

Good one Aish… Sad to Kno u had to face tough situations at times.. It’s Really disgusting how men behave with gals.. It’s a shame..today I am so proud of u Aish for being so strong.. Appreciate u Aish.. I guess I can give my ideas and thoughts to u, if u don’t mind..

Hello Aishwarya,
First & foremost I’m so glad that you have taken such a very bold step. You have successfully rendered the whole issue in a very straightforward approach.
Be the change you want to see in the world.. 😇
I’ll always extend my support for you & stand for the cause..
all the very best..
keep the good work going.. 🙂

Hey da… so glad and proud that u took these bold steps… not just when u confronted them directly but also by voicing out your situations here…people judge nd form opinions in a haste… let these words be a bash on their faces ….am really really proud of you😘😘

Well , I really loved the way you’ve presented it.. it’s appealing , and something I observed and felt right compared to all others (girls and women) about being harrassed, in the end you’ve specified not only men but also women are also involved in this kind of crap.. but sister, the bitter reality according to me is , there are few of you who really care about this , and when I say you I refer it to girls , the advantage I possess over here while telling you this is , I am a student , I’m 21 and it’s very common to have a group of guys , based on the fact that I see everyday girls are a part of a reason of the end result i.e harrassment and being molested or in the worse case raped.. you just cannot clap with one hand.. and all of this happens only because people started falling for western culture and began to forget our own culture, I can say this for sure because we know what we feel when girl’s dress up like models start moving in too much..
PS: I don’t mean any offense to anybody.. whatever I’ve written up here is just my opinion..
Thank you
And you’ve done a great job Aishwarya

Hey Nishkal!!:)^.^ Firstly, thank you for taking time out to read my blog… Secondly, yes I do agree we are heavily influenced by western culture;the way we dress, what we eat, etc.. But we can’t blame that, because they also do not encourage molestation or rape culture. Please feel free to correct me if wrong..
Your support till now is invaluable, crucial. This Feedback/Suggestion will help me deliver better content in my blog. I am grateful for your interest:)