Funny To A Point – 23 Strange Curios From The Game Informer Office

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It's easy to get so wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of
everyday life that you stop noticing the things around you. That's why every
now and then I like to stop and smell the proverbial roses – to take a break,
clear my mind, and observe the wondrous world around me. Unfortunately,
sometimes those breaks happen in the G.I. office.

Make no mistake, Game Informer is a very cool place to work.
But it's also a very weird place. While I don't actually have any experience in
a normal business office that I can compare to G.I., I assume they are very
different working environments. Sure, your co-workers may adorn their
workspaces with photos or the occasional bauble, but how many deadly weapons
does your office have? Because I can count five just from where I'm sitting.

Rather than selfishly keep this hoard of curiosities to
myself, however, I thought I'd share it with my dear readers by taking you all
on an exclusive behind-the-scenes photo tour. So without further ado, here's a
collection of Game Informer's own Stranger Things from around office. (Because
season two of Stranger Things is out
today. Get it? Whatever – onto the feature!)

Strange Curio#1: Disappointed DraculaGood ol' Dracula is one of the first things you see when you get to the
G.I. office, and he answers an important life question: Where do you stick a ridiculously
gigantic Lords Of Shadow 2 statue? That answer is "Wherever it will fit," which
in our case was the strange unused hallway outside our office door. Dracula's
expression is appropriately emo, but some joker in the office gave it a hidden
layer of meaning by placing our review of Lords of Shadow 2 review on his lap. Talk
about a low blow!

Strange Curio #2: Bathroom
ShepardNormally I'd wait a little longer before delving into potty humor in a
feature, but the abruptness is apt in this case. This framed picture of our
Mass Effect 3 cover hangs directly across from the toilet in one of G.I.'s
bathrooms, and Shepard's steely stare is creepy as all get-out when you're
trying to do your business. Clearly someone else thought so too, hence the word
bubble. Who is this anonymous joker? One thing is for sure – they have nice
penmanship!

Strange Curio #3: Poison
BucketI'm not sure why we have a poison bucket in the G.I. office, or why anyone
would ever want a poison bucket in the first place. It really seems like a
poorly conceived product. At least it's good to know that if we ever find
ourselves with an unruly amount of poison, we have a bucket to store it in?

Strange Curio #4: Stinky
The Hutt"Stinky" is technically the nickname Ahsoka Tano gave Jabba The Hutt's son in Cartoon Star Wars, but either way he's
an abomination to the already-not-great Star Wars lore. I still have no idea
why that motivated Jeff Cork to print out a picture of Stinky and post it on the
support column by his desk, though. He's a weird guy – which is about to become
a recurring refrain.

Strange Curio #5: Reserved
Farting SignBefore they bulldozed the G.I. parking lot to build yet another apartment condo
for yuppies, Kyle stole one of our old parking signs and hung it on his desk. It
didn't take long for the mysterious office prankster to modify the sign for a
cheap laugh, but ultimately the joke was on us – Kyle has been farting nonstop
ever since, because according to him, "The sign says I can." He's the worst.

Strange Curio #6:
Broken Zelda StatueKyle also has what is apparently a rare Zelda statue, which I accidentally broke
because he insists on balancing it on the very edge of his desk. I mean, it was
really inconsiderate of him to put me in that position – you can imagine the
stress I felt after I broke it! Even worse, he didn't even thank me after I
fixed it for him! Talk about rude.

Strange Curio #7:
Autographed Chewbacca Picture...s?!As if being rude and farty isn't enough, Kyle is also super weird. Case in
point: He has not just one, but TWO autographed pictures of Chewbacca hanging on
his wall. I don't think he even knows it's just an actor in a suit – whenever
someone asks about them, he always says "My friend Chewie signed them." I don't
have the heart to tell him Wookiees don't actually exist.

Coming Up Next: More inexplicable items from my co-workers' desks...

Strange Curio #8:
Erotic Metal Gear Raptor DioramaAs weird as Kyle and Jeff Cork are, they can't hold a flame to Ben Hanson. You'd
need the whole cast of CSI to catalogue all the strange and disturbing mementos
he's got on his desk. I'm going to go ahead and say that Raiden and Snake
gleefully riding a raptor together is among the weirdest though.

Strange Curio #9: An I-Don't-Even-Know-WhatThis combo of Ico hat, Raz goggles, and Planet
Earth Blu-ray globe is a close runner-up, though. Not to mention the vintage
William Shatner Twilight Zone action
figure and NCIS mini-USB card. For
the love of God, why NCIS?!

Strange Curio #10: Ponda
Baba FigureIt wouldn't be fair to point out all the weird stuff on my co-workers'
desks without also turning a critical eye to my own work space. This lovely Star
Wars figure came to me courtesy of longtime G.I. reader and former Blog Herder,
Saint,
and he's had a spot on my desk ever since (Ponda, that is). The best part is he
comes with a detachable arm! Boy, you really know you got the short shrift when
your one defining feature was being dismembered by a character people actually
care about. Now that's a Sad Ponda.

Strange Curio #11: F---ING
HAWK! This little guy came from another friendly reader, and was meant to
commemorate my nerve-wracking Ninja
Gaiden Super Replay. Seriously, those hawks got me every time. The fact
that he's constantly staring at me from his spot on my desk kind of freaks me
out, but a reader was kind enough to send it to me, so it will stay there
forever. That's just how it works!

Strange Curio #12: Billy
Mitchell Commemorative Hot Sauce (Yes, Really)Now this one definitely counts as a curio: Famed Donkey Konger Billy
Mitchell stopped
by the office earlier this year, and he brought us some commemorative hot
sauce, because why not? Each bottle is numbered and has the Game Informer logo
on it, along with Billy's portrait and personal slogan, "Never Surrender, Never."
I guess that applies to spicy food as well!

Strange Curio #13:
Dan Tack's Not-His-Dog PortraitWhenever someone taking a tour of G.I. gets to Dan Tack's desk, they always
ask if this painting hanging above his chair is a picture of his dog. That would
certainly make sense, right? I mean, what kind of person would hang up a
painting of someone else's dog, unless it's doing something hilarious like
playing poker? I'm sure you already know that it in fact isn't Dan's dog. In
his defense though, it is the same breed, so a reader made the connection and
sent it in. You see? We really can't deny the kindness of readers! #NotMyDog

Strange Curio #14:
Suriel's Pervert PadI didn't have high hopes for Suriel being normal when he started working
here – his name is Suriel, after all. But I actually didn't notice this oddity
until I started snooping around for more pictures to take. I guess Suriel
needed some support for his wrist, and thought, "Hey, how about Deadpool's
confusingly buxom bosoms?" After discovering it, I decided to grill Suriel on
where the heck his mouse pad came from, and his answer made perfect sense: It
was a gift from Ben Hanson. It always comes back to Hanson!

Coming Up Next: Other strange sights around the Game Informer office – and I also uncover a potential serial killer in our midst...

Strange Curio #15:
Autographed Nic Cage Season Of The Witch
PhotoMy co-workers' desk adornments aren't the only strange objects in the Game
Informer office. Take this autographed Nic Cage picture that is hanging in our
kitchen. It raises so many questions: Why would anyone waste a frame on this? Why
did they choose a still of him vacantly staring off into the distance like he
can't remember his next line? Did Season Of
The Witch even come out? Who sent it to us, and how did we wrong them? So
many questions...

Strange Curio #16:
Letter Of Authenticity For Nic Cage Season Of The Witch PhotoYep. This also apparently came with it, and was ALSO FRAMED. I try not to
think about it too hard lest I become consumed with madness like the doomed
protagonist of an H.P. Lovecraft story. Suffice it to say, the letter is
hanging right next to the Nic Cage's picture.

Strange Curio #17: Unused
Kitchen Smash Bros. KioskAt some point we got a Wii U kiosk delivered to the office, and Ben Hanson
thought it would be awesome to set it up for daily Smash matches. It has never
been used since. Funny – I just can't imagine why eight people don't want to
cram in between the refrigerator and the garbage can to play Smash during their
lunch break...

Strange Curio #18: Ark
of the Covenant Smash Bros. Kiosk CrateYou know that Smash Bros. kiosk I just showed you? It came in a massive wooden
box, which the sender obviously didn't want back, because what the heck would
they do with an empty crate the size of a tiny home? Turns out we don't know
the answer to that question either. As such, it's been sitting in the elevator
landing ever since, creeping me out every time I'm the last editor to leave the
office. I keep expecting Fluffy the Crate
Beast to hop out of there...

Strange Curio #19: A
Picture Of Miller Marrying A TransformerSpeaking of terrifying things that you can't unsee... This picture has been
hanging in the office longer than I've been working here, and I still don't
know the backstory to it. I assume it was the result of an if-you-love-Transformers-so-much-why-don't-you-marry-it
type of situation. I just like that not only is Miller marrying a Transformer, but
he's also the bride. That seems like Juba's handiwork to me.

Strange Curio #20: Sad
And Forgotten Kinect Life Boat PeripheralI ragged on this idiotic Kinect peripheral as much as the next gamer when
it came out, but years later I can't help feeling a bit sorry for it. I mean,
it could've been a real raft that people actually used and had fun with.
Instead it's been sitting in a box its whole life, on a random junk shelf in
the hallway that serves as its final resting place. You know what? I think I'm
going to set this guy free on the Mississippi after work – be all you can be,
Kinect raft!

Strange Curio #21: Leo's
Weird Computer WallpaperLeo is a fun guy and a great addition to the G.I. staff. But ever since he
started working here, I haven't been able to shake the sneaking suspicion that something
about him is a little off. So I tiptoed into the recording room one day when he
was at lunch and this is what I found. I honestly don't know what it means, but
at least we know he fits right in with all the other weirdos around here. He's
probably harmless, right?

Strange Curio #22:
Leo's... Murder Shrine? Yeah, I was wrong – Leo definitely isn't harmless. And the warning signs
were in plain sight – he's got an entire macabre display set up right on his
desk! Look at that polaroid, for crying out loud! And everything has a tag on
it with some cryptic clue or poem about evil. Also, he's using random computer
boxes as his standing desk. He's definitely a madman.

Strange Curio #23 NIGHTMARE
FUELThis appears to be a regular mannequin dressed up in a Nute Gunray mask and Darkwatch
trench coat. I assume it also houses the soul of a serial killer a la Chucky, because I get the heebie-jeebies
every time I look at it. This monstrosity has silently sat in on every issue
meeting for the last five years, and I keep expecting it to walk out of the
room one of these days, ensuring that I will never sleep another wink again. My
guess is it'll happen during the Top 50 Games of the Year debate – no one can
stand those meetings.

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Jeff started playing video games in the '80s and has been writing about them for Game Informer since 2009. Over the years he has collected more video games and board games than he could ever hope to play in a single lifetime.