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Thursday, October 11, 2012

Day 11 of 31

My son and I are BBC addicts. I don't know what it is -- maybe it's the accent -- but we gravitate toward BBC shows on Netflix.This past weekend my son introduced me to "Jekyll". It is not for the faint of heart. The basic premise of the show is similar to the novel, but with a twist, Jekyll and Hyde communicate via pocket recorder and an assistant/keeper of sorts.The show got me thinking about what we as a society teach about abusers and bad guys in general. We warn kids about "stranger danger", when in reality the person most likely to molest a kid is someone they know and trust -- a coach, a mentor, a troop leader, a minister, an uncle (or aunt). We do this because we want our kids to grow up believing they can control things. They are safe if they stay on guard, and that's simply not true.Every person who abused me was someone I knew. Someone my parents knew and trusted. They all went to church and held jobs and lived in nice houses. The scariest thing about "Jekyll" is that there is so little physical difference in Jekyll and Hyde, but their characters are poles apart. Yes, it's fiction, but reality is like that too.I have always referred to one abuser in particular as a monster. No one would think him a monster to see him on the street. He had a nice easy smile, charming demeanor, and good looks. The boy next door. But when he became an abuser, he was terrifying. A monster with claws for hands, elongated teeth, and a gaping mouth rushing to devour me.Maybe that's why I find such comfort in these quotes:

"The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary. Men alone are quite capable of every wickedness." Joseph Conrad

Fairy tales do not teach children that dragons exist. They already know they do. Fairy tales teach children that dragons can be killed. -- C.K. Chesterton

They take the onus off of me and place the blame directly where it belongs -- on the abusers, the evildoers, the monsters.

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