Small men feel big dissing women

Lauren C. McLoughlin remembers the first time she was bullied about her weight.

She was 10 years old, rehearsing on stage for a school talent show, when a classmate poked her belly.

"Look!" the classmate announced. "I can pop this balloon."

Everyone laughed. Humiliated, Lauren said nothing.

Children can be cruel, often because they're young and don't know any better.

But what's the excuse for grown men?

Today, McLoughlin is an accomplished wife, mother and professional who chairs the Southbridge School Committee. So when she was again bullied about her weight, this time by a former state legislator, she fought back.

At Tuesday night's School Committee meeting, McLoughlin noted that bullies come in "all shapes and sizes" and said she was addressing the issue for her 13-year-old twin daughters.

"I am overweight," she said, but wondered what her body had to do with pressing issues of the school district.

McLoughlin is only the latest prominent female subjected to a nasty, ad hominem attack aimed at her appearance, and she's in good company. On the national stage, gifted comic actress Melissa McCarthy was called a "humongous creep" in a movie review by Rex Reed. Grammy-winning vocalist Adele was dubbed "too fat" by critics. In 2012, when then-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton dared to appear without makeup during a visit to Bangladesh, many were appalled.

Her response? "It's just not something I think is important anymore."

Good for Hillary, but I suspect her remark is grounded more in wishful thinking than reality. Women are painfully aware of the male tendency to reduce our worth based on physical attractiveness, and it does a number on self-esteem regardless of feigned indifference.

In McLoughlin's case, she was attacked in a blog by Kenneth O'Brien, former state representative and current horse's ass. Rather than engage McLoughlin based on their political differences, he penned an item called "Weighty Matters" in which he compared her "acreage" to that of the town landfill and included a clip of Porky Pig. As much as I loathe repeating these odious comments, it gives you an idea of how brutal they are.

When the media pounced, O'Brien had a sudden crisis of conscience. He removed the item and apologized on his blog, calling it "offensive and insensitive." But his mea culpa clearly needs work, because later last week he saw fit to denigrate McLoughlin for fighting back tears when she addressed the School Committee.

"This very instance is illustrative of the reason why many people remain resistant to a true equality of opportunity for women ... They dread the prospect of an overly emotional scene ... I feel that the display by the Chairman of the School Committee did severe damage to women."

Good Lord, put a sock in it. The only person who "did severe damage to women" is O'Brien and others like him, men who delight in lobbing misogynistic insults at women with whom they disagree. Not long ago I received the same treatment by a former WTAG shock jock who, rather than comment on my work, offered regular, on-air diatribes about my weight, hair and appearance. The fact that these men rarely personify the standard of physical beauty only adds to the mystery of such behavior.

McLoughlin is a smart, classy woman who hardly needs defending. She's offered to meet with O'Brien, who refused, and said she wanted to teach her daughters that "words matter" and bullies shouldn't be feared.

"I'm not a helpless little girl anymore," she said. "I'm a strong, 43-year-old woman who has a voice, and can use it."