Donald Trump Fills Vital Cabinet Position with, Uh, That Guy Over There

The president nominates his doctor to lead the Department of Veterans Affairs.

The four-year season of Bachelor in Paradise that is Donald Trump's revolving cabinet took another captivating plot twist on Wednesday, when the president fired Secretary of Veterans Affairs David Shulkin, who had been the subject of considerable controversy since The Washington Postreported on certain tourist expenses incurred by Shulkin and his wife—a river cruise, a trip to Wimbledon—while he was in Europe on official business last year. The news came as a mild surprise to many in Washington, since to date, alleged misappropriation of taxpayer funds for personal travel has been presumed to be a prerequisite for service in the Trump administration, not a disqualifier.

Perhaps sensing that he appeared to be on the verge of demonstrating a growing appreciation for a cabinet stocked with only the most well-respected and impeccably credentialed policy experts, Trump promptly announced that he intends to replace Shulkin with, literally, the closest medical doctor he could find. From The New York Times:

After weeks of uncertainty atop the Department of Veterans Affairs, President Trump dismissed its secretary, David J. Shulkin, on Wednesday and announced he would replace him with the White House physician, Dr. Ronny L. Jackson, a rear admiral in the Navy.

White House aides, says the Times, privately acknowledge that the career Naval officer's "lack of managerial experience" could prove "problematic" as he accepts the task of running 1,240 health-care facilities and meeting the medical needs of more than 9 million veterans every year. Perhaps, the sources opined, the president's decision to make his doctor the steward of a massive federal agency's twelve-figure budget indicates that his "interest in his personal bond with someone" proved "more significant than their curriculum vitae" during the selection process. Who can say, really?

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Shulkin, for his part, appears uninterested in going quietly, writing in a Times op-ed that he is a victim of "politically-based attacks" orchestrated by individuals intent on privatizing Veterans Affairs, a move he says he opposes. "It should not be this hard to serve your country," he wrote. Although this is a low bar to clear, Shulkin was once among the least controversial of the president's cabinet appointees—he was effectively promoted to the position by President Trump after serving as VA undersecretary during the Obama administration, and his nomination cleared the Senate 100-0, which is twice as many votes as certain other department heads who improbably remain employed managed to garner. At one point, Shulkin's job seemed so secure that the president made it the subject of a now-extremely-awkward riff on his "You're fired!" catchphrase during a bill signing last June.

I also want to express our appreciation for Secretary Shulkin, who is implementing the dramatic reform throughout the VA. [The bill has] got to be implemented. If it’s not properly implemented it will never mean the same thing. But I have no doubt it will be properly implemented. Right, David? Better be, David. [applause] We’ll never have to use those words. [laughter] We’ll never have to use those words on our David. We will never use those words on you, that’s for sure. [laughter]

Stay tuned to this space next week, where we will analyze the president's forthcoming decisions to replace Elaine Chao with his Secret Service driver, Betsy DeVos with Barron's sixth-grade teacher, and Rick Perry with a chilled two-liter of Diet Coke.