If you do indeed find yourself put in a pod, and wish to remove the djinn from the bottle, focus your spagyric efforts within the first three months, keeping your work to the proper day of the week and planetary hour. Solve et coagula, for a successful outcome so to speak. that is to say one must dissolve the fix and fix the volatile. Begin with enough marjoram, gathered when just coming into flower. Only 2% of the plant is volatile oil, so gather as much of it as you are able, in your condition. Grind it up as finely as you can and steep it in warm brandy for two weeks, to bring out the essential oils. Filter it. Keep the brandy and the macerated marjoram. Next, separate the essential and the subtle from the inessential and the gross. Dry the remaining plant matter and burn it to ashes. Mix the ashes in a pot with 20 times their volume of rain water. Boil for 20 minutes then filter it. Evaporate the remaining liquid until it calcinates in the pan. Keep it in your pan at 500 degrees for several hours. Cool it and dissolve it in filtered rainwater. Repeat the calcination at least twice more until you are left with a chalky white substance in crystalline form, the Marjoram’s volatile salt. You have now in your possession the bridge between plant and mineral, the essential component of your upcoming purge. Wait for the waxing moon and spread it on plates. leave the plates outside overnight, raised off the ground. Go to bed and allow in your house rest to reign, as the time’s occasion is most sacred and most worthy to be most sacred. At sunrise collect the liquid and whatever has not yet dissolved, avoiding contact of it with skin or metal. This is the marjoram’s angel water. Distill it until the salts are dry, and save in a dark glass jar. Now you are ready to separate the false from the true. Gather your angel water, the salts of marjoram, fresh marjoram, and the brandy infused with marjoram’s essential oils (good God you didn’t throw that away!). Boil water and make an infusion with the fresh marjoram, allowing it to steep for at least 10 minutes. While waiting, pour the brandy into a glass and mix into it the salts of marjoram. Pour the angel water into a third glass. Now in silence, hist! All three cups you must straightways now attack. Staboo. Stabella. Feel her approach. Lilith, those broad wings. Listen, she is all eyes. Swallow. Drink. Focus all your soul, every pit of every little apart of your self that ever wanted anything before wants now to want. Your truth centers both your speech and your belief. You are a circle whose center is everywhere and circumference is nowhere. Come on baby girl, chug a lug. There you go. Take a breath. That which never dies and that which dies are only the reflected light of that idea which love with love begets. Keep sipping now. Just nice sips. And put all your everything you’ve got into your womb. There now Staboo, Stabella’s here. The closer of openings, yes, she makes possible the best of all possibilities. Hello Lilith. You feel it go now and look. Look under her feathers, see that? Right there. That. See it? The living light that pours out so from its bright source. Notice that it does not dis-one itself from love or from the love that enthreed itself with them. Ok baby, you ok? Go clean up now, there you go.

Scene: [An impromptu meeting at the shrine of St. Foutinus. A statue of St. Foutinus stands erect in an impressively sized bathtub allowing a variety of palmers and bedesmen to pour their wine offerings over his genitalia while those unable to be delivered of their spleen of lustihead leave wax images of their withered members in hopes a redress God grant. Doesn’t hurt to try.]

Averroes: [Holding a small lump of wax] What are you doing here?

Moses Maimonides: [The wounds on his face infected in places, pus oozing past stitches] I’m not speaking to you yet. Hlo Lilith. Are you allowed to swim in there?

Lilith: [Naked. Floating on her back in St. Foutinus’ tub.] Not really. But Foutinus and I have a little understanding, don’t we darling.

St. Foutinus: Screech owl! Night hag!

Lilith: He’s a little stiff at the moment. What are you doing here. Oh, I see. Sorry. Averroes, didn’t you have enough wax?

Averroes: Never you mind! You should get out of there, you could get pregnant that way.

Lilith: Oh honey, if that’s what you think no wonder you can’t get it up.

Moses Maimonides: Idiot.

Averroes: I though you weren’t speaking to me. Besides it’s true. St. Ultan bathes in cold water on windy days, just to avoid it. He’s got enough mouths to feed.

Moses Maimonides: You just told Lilith she could get pregnant. Dumbass. Don’t you know who she is? She is the inception of termination. She is the eraser of mistakes. She is the darkness at the end of the tunnel, the reliever of stomach bloat and frequent urination, the great evacuator. She’s what’s between a woman and her doctor. She takes care of it. She is the saver of the mother’s life! Might as well tell her the wind will get her pregnant.

Lilith: Oh is Zephyrus here? He blows both ways you know.

Moses Maimonides: [After a pregnant pause] Does he?

Averroes: [Dissembling, as his wont was] My apologies Lilith, but what are you doing bathing in there? That vinegar cures barrenness!