Margaret Cho Sings for Rape Victims: "I Want to Kill My Rapist"

Margaret Cho has always been forthright about her struggles, teasing dark but funny observations out of serious topics like substance abuse, racism, and eating disorders in her stand-up. But in a new interview withBillboard Magazine, the comedian and performer previewed an especially dark song, about murdering her rapist, from her upcoming album.

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Cho says a family friend repeatedly molested her over the course of seven years, starting when she was 5. "I had a very long-term relationship with this abuser, which is a horrible thing to say," she said. "I didn't even understand it was abuse, because I was too young to know."

The article doesn't mention when Cho told her family about the abuse, but whenever she did, she says she found no support. "They don't really want to talk about it, because that would make it real somehow," she said. "I think Asian culture often is in denial about such things. Like, if they don't talk about it, it doesn't exist. So it makes me unwelcome in some ways."

She was raped again in high school, and when her classmates found out, they bullied her. "I told someone that I was raped, and the kids at school found out and said, 'You are so ugly and fat that the only way anybody would have sex with you is if they were crazy and raped you. So don't act like you are hot and somebody wanted to fuck you,'" she said. "'It's because you are disgusting, and you deserve to be raped.'"

The repeated abuse she suffered, compounded by her friends and family's callous attitudes about the assault, led to a lot of confusion and suffering. "I was raped continuously through my teenage years, and I didn't know how to stop it. It was also an era where young girls were being sexualized," she said. "For me, I think I had been sexually abused so much in my life that it was hard for me to let go of anger, forgive or understand what happened."

Now she has found a way to release some of the pent-up confusion, rage, humiliation, and alienation in a song called, "I Want to Kill My Rapist," an anthem for any rape survivor. "I'm still trying to figure out how to be a musician, but I really enjoy it," she said. "But really, we want to kill the rapists. I'm a victim and now a survivor of sexual abuse and rape, and I think it's really hard to talk about it. I think having a song to perform live will allow others to talk about it. It's a huge issue, and this was cathartic for me."

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"I think Bill Cosby and Woody Allen and all these men are so disgusting. It's gross," she said. "This song I made is a rejection of all that. The rage women have against abusers is real. We have the power to come forward and say 'This happened to me.'"