Paula Abdul Lashes Out at Idol Producers

Paula Abdul is blaming American Idol producers for allowing known stalker Paula Goodspeed to get close to her.

Abdul, in a Sirius XM radio interview on Barbara Live! with Barbara Walters Monday night, said that she was familiar with Goodspeed – which prompted her to beg producers not to let her audition for Season 5 of the FOX talent show.

Despite Abdul’s requests, the producers went ahead and ushered Goodspeed into the room.

“She had been writing disturbing letters for 17 years, almost 18 years,” Abdul, 46, said in the interview. “We had restraining orders at times.”

On Nov. 11, police discovered Goodspeed dead of an apparent suicide outside of Abdul’s home. Abdul told PEOPLE she has not slept in that house since.

For years before that, Goodspeed was kept at a distance from Abdul, simply because she didn’t have the singer-dancer’s home address. Said the Idol judge, “For me, I was lucky enough that all the letters would come through the fan club. But come American Idol, when anyone could audition, she showed up.”

Abdul Objected

Abdul said that on the day of Goodspeed’s audition, Idol producers told her they had found – and were about to bring in – a fan who was “crazy about” Paula.

Abdul immediately objected. “I said, ‘This girl is a stalker of mine. Please do not let her in.’ Everyone knew. I was shaking.”

The producers overrode her protests, said Abdul, citing what they said would be the “entertainment value” of someone like Goodspeed – despite the potential peril – because it would “be fun for them to cause me stress.”

Abdul further claimed to Walters that Goodspeed also showed up at auditions in Las Vegas that year and came back to try out for Season 6. From one of the auditions, Goodspeed was finally able to follow Abdul home.

Goodspeed Saw Abdul in Heaven

From that time on, said Abdul, Goodspeed sent naked pictures of herself to Abdul and, in some letters, threatened her with “bodily harm.”

“She said the only way I will serve her purpose is when I’m up in heaven being her guardian angel.”

Since Goodspeed’s alleged suicide outside Abdul’s home, “I’ve been in tears,” Abdul says. She’s also told producers that they should have listened to her.

Asked by Walters why she continues to be a part of American Idol, Abdul responded, “Well, I’m under contract.”