Monday, October 12, 2015

This weekend was unexpectedly lovely, probably because it involved family. I love my two ladies more than life itself, and spending just some quality time with my big sister was perfect.

And yes, I bought us onesies. We drank a lot of wine, talked about a lot of things, watched a lot of TV.

I just love her beyond words. We also had a very honest conversation about if we became zombie's during a zombie outbreak we would shoot each other. OK, fine, I wouldn't even be able to shoot her as a zombie, even if it meant she was going to kill me.

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

So I've been MIA lately. I could say there's been a lot going on, because there has. I could say I'm unbelievably stressed out, which is sort of true.

But honestly, I haven't been proud of myself lately. I've been hiding out trying to figure out how to relax, which has made me all around lazy.

Finding comfort in food for a thick girl isn't the best idea. I've never been ashamed of my body, I've never been someone who thought they could be a size 2, but I know when I'm getting unhealthy.

Too much beer, too much junk, not enough exercise and eating right. It's not a difficult equation, but there's always an excuse to not do the right thing.

I'm exhausted, I'm overwhelmed, I'm hungover.

I've had my picture taken a lot lately for different celebrations, and I honestly don't recognize myself. You know when girls look in the mirror and see a fatter version of themselves, well I seem to have the opposite problem.

I'm not saying it's time to go all nutzo, I'm saying it's time to make the girl in the mirror reflect the badass chick I really am again. I've always struggled with my weight, but I know where I should be and this isn't it.

I'm not mad at being slightly chubby, but I'm mad at seeing that I've let myself get to a point where I am embarrassed to even smile for a picture. It's not about feeling I need to fit a certain mold, it's about being the best version I can be, and I'm not comfortable with the person I am showing right now.

Whew, that wasn't easy, because I fancy myself Wonder Woman, but I can still be that and say I'm not happy with where my health is at right now.

All these Drake ITunes shopping sprees are about to pay off, it's time to get my Ronda Rousey on.

And no more beer. OK for a month. OK for a few weeks, but wine is basically a fruit.

Finished Ronda Rousey's book. It's refreshing to read an autobiography by someone as famous as she is who write with honesty. There are moments she sucked, and didn't do the right thing, but it's about the journey, and it's a good read.

Need a laugh? Cut to 5:15 in Sprinkle of Glitter's vlog. After a sobfest of a day Saturday, I discovered this gem in "My Suggestions" on Youtube, and thank god for Louise.

I have a 3000 page paper to write tonight by midnight, so prayers would be accepted.

Sunday, August 23, 2015

Growing up is weird. You think you're an adult, you think you have this big life and you've moved on from all those things you were when you were younger.

Then you drive away from doing your sister's wedding invitations at your mom's, with boxes of memories in the car, and realize it was probably the last afternoon you will have spent there and just sob.

It's the house I grew up in. It both broke me, and put me back together again.

The last place my family was a family, in the original sense. The last place where memories of my life with my dad were, before life went upside down on us.

It's a strange feeling because I have my own home for the past three years, but that house is such a part of my life, and in a about a week it'll be gone.

Well not gone, gone, but I can't exactly walk in anymore can I?

No seriously, can I?

Packing up 22 years of a home has been emotional. I found things I completely forgot about, and discovered other things I am thrilled to walk away with.

I'm not ready to close the door, but I never would be.

It's the right time now.

So I'll just be over here listening to Miranda Lambert's "House that Built Me" and crying for the next week or so.

I remember stumbling across her on my search for breakfast food, where I found the ultimate egg recipe and then fell in love with her along the way. She is witty, gorgeous, and takes some of my favorite photos. Following her around the globe is inspiring, and the food choices never fail, except one for pancakes I'm convinced was my fault.

When it comes to style icons in reality I always go back to Mary over at So Then They Say. She has this simplistic, yet striking style and fashion choices that stop me in my tracks every time.

She is also well traveled and has an eye for interior design that just sucks you in.

When I want my daily reality check I go to Hallie at Corals and Cognacs. She is real, unedited, and hilarious.

Her style is forward but attainable, and if you follow her on SnapChat, her daily schedules make you want to move your ass. Oh, and girl can walk and SnapChat like a BOSS.

If you are ever lacking in inspiration, head over to check them out, the level of organization to not only execute their own blogs, but keep together regions of bloggers blows my mind. Oh, I'm impatiently waiting for the Northeast chapter to open.

I've never had to define my sexuality or gender. If I had to, luckily, I have the best family support in the world who would love me regardless.

It's easy to get caught up in the hype, the tabloids, the coverage. You forget that Caitlyn Jenner is an American hero, an athlete, a child, a father.

You see the transformation without seeing the realization.

She is finally, after 60 plus years, who she always was.

Imagine a Freaky Friday happened when you were born, and you spent your whole life opposite who you weren't in the mirror. Then add the pressure of being an athlete, a husband, a father, a reality figure, and a gender icon.

Then turn it left.

I don't know if I would have the strength, but I thank god for all the people out there, and all the future people out there, that someone did.

That someone is Caitlyn Jenner. Making the world a better place.

xoxo,

Erin

P.S. There are certain people in my world who have opened my eyes wider recently, and just a reminder, I love you unconditionally. Always.

Friday was one of the good old days, at my BFF's mom's house for a cookout and some good old college drinking games. Catching up on life, love, and everything in between.

Doing this whole family thing is new to me, and spending Saturday night with my new extended family was what I needed. We sang to a couple of birthday kids, drank a lot, lit some stuff up, and had a deep 1AM convo.

Sunday I barely moved from bed. Not even sorry about it.

The only thing missing from this weekend was my sister, who is still on the road to recovery. She is my family, my friend, and my bestie all rolled into one. Soon she'll be back to being my partner in crime.

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Full confession: I used to be a sun baby. I was at the pool every day in the summer, and though mom did lather me with sunscreen, I don't think the amount of time I was in the water could withstand the SPF.

Then there was the high school/college years when my theory in life was "if you can't tone it, tan it".

Coming from German descent I get an unbelievable amount of sun. Now that I'm older-ish and wiser-ish I know that sun isn't my best friend.

I struggle with hats. I have a phobia of my own ears, they stick out like no other, so hats are my worst nightmare. Being someone who loves summer and accessories you would think I have a hat rack like no other.

Well, I'm going to try. For the millionth time I am not going to the beach this summer because everyone in my family has to get married, so I don't feel the absolute need to grab the first hat I see. I am perusing, I am being picky, and I am trying to get over myself.

I'm looking for the patio drinking hat. There must be one out there for me.

Monday, June 29, 2015

6:30 AM: Mom comes into the guest room where I'm pretty sure I sweat off 5lbs due to the heat in her house and wakes me up. Wonder why we stayed up until 11:30pm drinking all the wine and talking all the talk with her fiancé.

6:35 AM: Mom comes back in to remind me she woke me up, in case I forgot.

6:45 AM: Mom offers to bring me coffee while I put on my makeup, because she knows how it's either that or deal with me growling at her until I get coffee.

7:20 AM: Get onto the bus and shimmy our way into our seats due to the two complete idiots in from of us who have used their reclining seats function liberally.

7:35 AM: Change seats to the section diagonally behind us or else deal with mom punching the seats in front of us for 3 hours and a possible bus brawl.

8:30 AM: Hear the lady across from us cough up a lung, then glance over to see her pull out a large freezer Ziploc bag and puke in it.

8:33 AM: Watch the puking lady Ziploc her bag and place it in the area in front of her seat, then close her eyes and start to snore.

9:00 AM: Mom gets her glasses out for the 100 time to stalk someone on Facebook with me, while lady across from us reaches for the puke Ziploc bag.

9:15 AM: Puke lady goes back at it for a few minutes, loudly, then returns the Ziploc to her front area, then pulls out her cell phone and starts giving someone directions in German.

10:00 AM: Puke lady goes to the bathroom, then returns to retrieve her puke bag to fill it up some more for one final time.

10:30 AM: Walk through the doors of Macy's, not even realizing that was the last fresh air I would have for almost 5 hours.

10:35 AM: Starbucks, large Starbucks.

10:45 AM: Walk into the Bridal Salon at Macy's and immediately have my Starbucks plucked away. She lived, barely.

11:30 AM: Mom finds a dress, while I sit and watch people I've only seen before on Jerseylicious reenact a scene from "Say Yes to the Dress".

12:35 PM: Mom finds another dress, I stare at a tiara that retails for $3840 wondering the purpose of my existence without my Starbucks. Also, I probably need that tiara for my birthday.

1:30 PM: Walking out of the bridal salon promising I'm never getting married, or if I do it will involve Elvis.

2:30 PM: Mom begs the lovely man directing traffic at the escalators to direct her toward a restaurant with a bar before I kill someone.

2:40 PM: My butt barely hits the bar stool before I order a Bloody Mary from the bartender with a twinkle in his eye and promise him a place in heaven.

3:00 PM: Wander through the bedding department and wonder if anyone would really find me if I slipped under the last set of down comforters.

3:30 PM: Mom goes off to find presents for the little kids we love while I find a Trenta iced coffee and a seat next to an outlet to charge my phone and pass out.

4:30 PM: What is that thing up there, is that the sky? What year is it? Who is the president? Where am I?

4:45 PM: Sephora, I remember you old friend. I wonder if I can wedding dress shopping guilt mom into buying me that lipstick Joynes wanted me to try?