- 3d Step

I was at a campfire discussion the other night, and this person says." If you have done step 3 your life is none of your business". I about fell over! I disagree! My thoughts are my business, my actions are my business. Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Is this something you become when you are a Old timer?

Sometimes I have no idea of what people mean when they say certain things. If I try to understand it "as I understand it" I'll probably never figure it out. If it seems important, I'll ask them what they mean by it. Sometimes... they can explain it and then it makes sense to me, and other times... their explanation makes me more confused.

When I was new -- I remember one old-timer who asked me:"Do you know what the secret is?" I said nope. He said "Hang in there!" Then, another guy walked up and asked "Do you know what the secret is?" I said "Yep. It's hang in there!" He said... "No. You you've got to let go." I heard the "Let go" thing a bunch of times... and when I'd ask "let go of what?" It seemed like I got 500 different answers!

Once I asked someone what they meant by something they said, and they explained it to me. Then, when talking with someone else... who had never heard the person... they told me the other person didn't mean what I had been told... but, they meant something else. I wondered how the one person knew what the other person meant... but had never talked with them.

Often, it seems like each person has a meaning by what they say, and none of us will ever know what the heck they mean... unless they explain it further. And, even then... the explanations seem to make no sense.

Thanks for the topic! It reminds me to be careful when I'm talking with someone and I don't finish my thoughts or my sentences. And, it can get pretty confusing in here and out there! I woke up this morning trying to figure out if I could figure out what's going on! And, today... like many other days... it can give me a headache just thinking about it!

Yes, I agree that your thoughts and your actions are your business. What I would guess that person was saying was that they have turned their will and their life over to God, and that the actions and thoughts that come from them are really in essence coming through them and are not of them....i.e., they are now alligned with God and are simply a channel for the divine.

I could be way off on their meaning, but that's one way for me to take what they said.

However, I am far from that state of spirituality where I have fully stepped aside and always simply allow myself to be a channel of God's peace and love. Therefore, the vast majority of the thoughts and actions that emmanate from me are of me....which perhaps in essence means that I have not fully surrendered to Step 3 -- I'm not sure.

So, since I still run the show a lot, my life is my business, because I am responsible for what I say and do. I don't believe that that comment is meant to absolve us of any responsibilities.

"I made a decision -- to take certain actions. And, the final sum total of the results of those actions -- Life will decide."

Of course, they might have also meant: "I made a decision to let God do it... so it's none of my business."

When I've tried it that way... to just let God do it ... I waited, and I waited... and I waited... and I waited... and I waited... and I waited... and I waited... and, God never did show up to take care of business! I kind of think -- that He might have been down at the beach sipping Pina Coladas!!! (He can do that if He wants ... because He's nonalcoholic!)

Regarding the speakers quote: It sure would be nice... if more often, A.A.'s when speaking... could remember to use "I" instead of "you" or "mine" instead of "yours."

He could have said something like "When I did my 3rd Step my life was no longer any of my business. " And, then... we would be discussing a different topic! And, he wouldn't have been insinuating that when "we" did something... "we would be doing the same thing that he did."

When I took my 3rd Step... it simply meant that "I made a decision to do my 4th Step .... and 5th, and 6th, and 7th, and 8th, and 9th, and 10th, and 11th, and 12th Step."

Of course, there are some... who can simply do this in their head... I know, because they've told me so!!! They didn't need to take actions. And, since they stopped at the 3rd Step... they weren't taking "half measures"... (six steps would have been half-measures)... so, they are doing "quarter measures" and getting some kind of results!

For me... if "half-measures will avail me nothing..." then (according to my way of thinking) "quarter-measures" will leave me with a negative balance, kind of like a checking account that is over-drawn! It's not good for me to do that!!!

I know you know what you think I said, but you don't realize that what I said was not what I meant.

That kinda sums it up, doesn't it??!

To me, the phrase "If you have done Step 3, your life is none of your business" means that I am WILLING to turn my will and my life over to the God of my understanding.

I am still responsible for my thoughts and actions; however, I have no control over the outcome -- for that, I trust my Higher Power. My sponsor (an old-timer) always said "Make all the plans you want, just don't plan the outcome".

The only things in my life I can control are my thoughts and my actions. I can only try to do the next right thing in thought and deed and pray for the best possible outcome. If I'm doing my job, my HP will do his.