An old joke tells of someone asking the assistant at a paper shop: ‘Do you keep stationery?’ and she replies: ‘No, I wriggle about a bit.’ She clearly thought he meant the word that is spelt ‘stationary’. There are many pairs of words like this, which sound the same but are spelt differently. They are called homophones or sometimes homonyms.

Identify the pairs of homophones from the following clues.

Example: One word means a place for keeping aircraft; the other word means a shaped piece of wood, metal, etc. on which you can hang clothes.
Answer: Hangar/hanger.

OK, well … I’m enjoying a nice long weekend, mostly with family, but it seems I have some “time off” to attend my personal “stuff!” My friend “Citizen Tom” nominated me for this lovely – award/challenge! Thanks Tom!

What to do? Well, here are the rules.

1. Each person tagged must post 11 things about themselves.

2. They must also answer the 11 questions the “tagger” has set for them.

3. They must create 11 more questions to ask bloggers they have decided to tag.

4. They must then choose 11 bloggers and tag them in their post.

5. These “lucky” bloggers must then be told.

6. No tag backs.

Here are the questions for the people I was tagged by TOM to answer. Since this is a blog that mixes politics and religion I will alternate between the two. When you answer, feel free to elaborate.

What is your favorite Bible story?
hahaha Well, right off the bat, my hackles go up at the phrasing of this question! (I’m such a “heretic!”) There are parables in the Bible, and there are illustrations of Biblical principles but I choose not to call them stories because, to many, that gives them less importance! Anyway … My favorite would have to be, though it is a difficult choice, the advent of the Birth of Christ. From the conception of John the Baptist through the lamentations in the streets for the slaying of two year old babies it is absolutely fascinating to see the Sovereign Provision of God, how the prophecies of the Old Covenant are fulfilled to the letter …

Who is your favorite president?
George Washington! Such a principled man, a man of extreme inner strength of character – strong enough to withstand the cry of the people to make him King! It amazes me and frustrates me because we see few such men or women in “public service” today.

What is your favorite book in the Bible?
This changes from time to time, but I’d have to say currently it is Psalms. There is a Psalm to fit EVERY human need, condition, and emotion, and it’s a comfort to know that David was a “man after God’s own heart” even though he was a horrible father, and murderer, an adulterer, but he had a repentant, “teachable” heart.

What is your favorite person in history? Does not have to be a political leader.

Well … after some thought, the one(s) I admire most throughout history are the ones excluded from the hsitory books except by generalizations. The feudal farmers, the early American settlers, the tribal peoples around the world, those who have endured grave oppression, those who have sacrificed personally for the good of others … The nameless heroes throughout time. His name is … the OTHER!

Which of parables that Jesus told has had the most significance in your life?

The Parable of the Bags of Gold (Mt 25: 14-30) – to whom much is given, much is expected (and I’m not talking taxes here!!)

DAVID! lol Imperfect, sinner yet called “a man after God’s own heart!” I want to be that … A woman after God’s own heart!

Have you read a book about politics?

Yes, currently making my way through a few: the The 5000 Year Leap, by W. Cleon Skousen; Miracles of the American Revolution, by Larkin Spivey; and the political thriller, Black List, by Brad Thor.

Have you read a book about religion?

Yes, but interestingly, the books I have read on “religion” are also books with a political flavor, as well. As listed above, The Celtic Crusades trilogy, and The Dragon King Saga (fiction), by Stephen R. Lawhead; and Miracles of the American Revolution, by Larkin Spivey

If you answered “yes” to question 8, please name the book and the author. SEE #8! lol

If you answered “yes” to question 9, please name the book and the author. SEE #9! :)

The Parable of the Bags of Gold: Mt 25:14 – 30

Here are the blogs I tagged. Why did I pick these blogs? Why did I pick you? Your blog discusses either (or both) politics and religion. I enjoy reading your posts, and I believe others will enjoy reading them, too! :) I hope you do not find this too annoying or tedious!

Should you choose to accept this mission, here are your 11 questions:

1. Where is your birthplace?

2. Have you traveled outside the USA? Where & why?

3. What is your favorite genre of music? Artist?

4. Do you have a personal HERO? Who & why? or Why not?

5. Glass half-full or half empty? Why?

6. What motivates you to get up in the morning?

7. Do you have a favorite novel or film? Title & author/director

8. Have you enjoyed any affiliation with the US Military?

9. Beverage of choice?

10. Favorite non-computer activity

11. On a scale of 1 – 10 with 10 being Off-the-charts, how do you rate your passion for the USA?

You lucky chosen ones … must answer these questions to the best of your ability. This post will NOT self-destruct, but YOU might if you refuse to participate! ;)

To the citizens of the United States of America:

In the light of your failure to elect a proper President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. (Except Utah, which she does not fancy.) Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable David Cameron, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up “revocation” in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up “aluminium”. Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘favour’ and ‘neighbour’, skipping the letter ‘U’ is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter ‘Z’ (pronounced ‘zed’ not ‘zee’). You will learn that the suffix ‘burgh is pronounced ‘burra’ e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as ‘Pittsberg’ if you can’t cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up “vocabulary”. Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as “like” and “you know” is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up “interspersed”. There will be no more ‘bleeps’ in the Jerry Springer show. If you’re not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn’t have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won’t have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as “US English”. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter ‘u’.

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn’t that hard. English accents are not limited to Cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents – Scottish dramas such as “Taggart” will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we’re talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is “Devon”. If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become “shires” e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as “Men Behaving Badly” or “Red Dwarf” will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can’t cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, “God Save The Queen”, but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American “football”. There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American “football” is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays “American” football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American “football”, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2011. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the ‘World Series’ for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls’ game called “rounders” which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 97.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. “Merde” is French for “Shit”. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don’t believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called “Indecisive Day”.

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren’t even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called “crisps”. Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as “beer”, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as “Lager”.

The substances formerly known as “American Beer” will henceforth be referred to as “Near-Frozen Gnats’ Urine”, with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as “Weak Near-Frozen Gnats’ Urine”. This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

13. From December 1st the UK will harmonise petrol (or “Gasoline” as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2012) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices roughly $6/US gallon – get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you’re not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you’re not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us crazy.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

American reporters gave Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, the Iraqi information minister under Saddam Hussein during the American-led invasion of 2003, the disdainful name “Baghdad Bob” (and the British called him “Comical Ali”). He spouted wildly inaccurate propaganda during his daily press briefings, praising the Iraqi troops and telling fabulous tales of how they had crushed the foreign invaders, even as those invaders could be seen on the screen moving in on him.

Well, Iranian brigadier generals seem to be emulating Bob. Two recent quotes (with some editing of the English):

Brigadier General Hossein Salami, lieutenant commander of the Islamic Revolutionary Guards Corps: “The IRGC is never intimidated by the hugeness of the aircraft carriers and the roaring of missiles of U.S. and trans-regional enemies, and their equipment is nothing more than rusty iron in its eyes.” Brigadier General Ahmad Vahidi, the minister of defense, in a telephone conversation with his Syrian counterpart just as he took over from his assassinated predecessor, paraphrased by the Islamic Republic News Agency: “Iran is confident that Syria’s powerful defense system will made the United States, its regional allies, and Israel back down from their plan of achieving their goals in the region. He said the Zionist regime and terrorists can not affect Syrian army’s strong will and can not build a stronghold for Israel through psychological operations in Syria.”

Comments: (1) One hopes that these remarks are not sincerely believed for, as Geoffrey Blainey convincingly argues in The Causes of War, the leading cause of fighting is over-optimism: “Wars usually begin when two nations disagree on their relative strength, and wars usually cease when the fighting nations agree on their relative strength.” (2) Even if not sincerely believed, such claims take on a life of their own and often lead to regrettable consequences.

At the mosque today, a man takes the pulpit.
He warns us quite gravely that we are all culprits;
Islam is the true religion, it would seem.
The others seem destined to fail, in his dream.

So we’re told to convert them: The Christians and the Jews.
The Pagans, the Buddhists, and the Brahmin Hindus.
I take great offense at his words and inflection.
Politely I stand, and I pose him a question.

“Don’t two rivers eventually reach the same sea?
Are any of them really that different from me?”
Calling me a “kafir”, he says I’m incorrect,
And my sacrilege’s earned me a ticket to heck.

On what grounds am I not a good Muslim? I snort.
Could it be that my beard is two inches too short?
Or perhaps my trousers are two inches too long?
Surely covering my ankles can’t be that wrong.

Was I three degrees west of Makkah when I prayed?
Was I corrupted by the video games I played?
Or when I ate with my left hand at lunch that one time?
If I’m to be condemned, at least tell me my crime.

Maybe it’s because I treat others as equals.
Not as non-believers but as regular people.
Maybe my priorities are different from yours.
Rather than head scarves and beard paint, I help the poor.

It might be the fact that I don’t speak for the crowd.
Or force my opinions onto others, out loud.
Is it that I don’t quote the Quran when I speak?
On what criteria have you made this critique?

What will get me to heaven? Please tell me good sir!
Why are you so unwilling to let us confer?
Why do you resist, when I ask for your help?
Could it be that you don’t know the answers yourself?

Could it be, that on some mountain height,
It won’t be blasphemous, if one said “Brahma’s might”?
Could it be that Muslims, Hindus, Christians and Jews,
All touched the same spirit through the God that they knew?

It really matters not, in what building you pray.
And if your beliefs aren’t set in stone, then that’s OK.
Take your time, teach yourself, then you’ll understand.
At the end of the day, we all share God’s own land.

NOTE: As it happens, I do not agree with the totality of this message, but the point may be that many believers in many religions really don’t know what they believe or why. I believe it is vital to understand the basic tenets of whatever faith you espouse.