Monday, October 4, 2010

Raising Emma...

I have written and rewritten this post so many times that now I am feeling like I need to just write it and move on.

We have had a few rough weeks with our daughter Emma. The honeymoon has been over and she has attempted to regain control of her new world. Hubby and I were a little surprised at first but quickly jumped in to let our dear daughter know who is in control of this family. It is not her. it is God and we are following his lead!

We have seen a variety of symptoms and characteristics in our dear daughter that has made us wonder? Being an RN I look for answers, diagnosis and treatment plans. One minute I have concerns and then the next they subside, a little. Recently, others have mentioned their concerns to me. I new it before but their comments are just supporting my previous concerns.

We are seeking further medical support in hopes to find out what is going on and how to best help her.

With all that being said... Emma is making positive progress. I see her doing things that she could not previously do, such as alternately kicking her feet, trying hard not to smile when she is being corrected, increased attention span, learning how to hug an adult, wanting to kiss us like the other children, and the list goes endlessly on. Inside Hubby and I are screaming "thank you Jesus"! WE are so proud her, she is trying so hard.

When we decided to adopt special needs the one special need that concerned me the most was a cognitive delay/ unknown delays. Inside I secretly wanted to adopt a child with cognitive delays but I wasn't brave enough to sign up for the task. It didn't seem to be on hubby's radar so we moved on. Yet when we were told their was a high probability that both girls would have major cognitive delays we didn't believe the medical world and we moved forward, WHY? because they were our daughters! God showed us in every way he could, that they were ours!

Meeting the girls was a bit surprising. We were not sure what to think or what to expect in the future? I remember saying to myself... "I didn't sign up for this"... the voice that responded was clear and accurate "Oh, yes you did, this is exactly what you signed up for!" I was taken aback and left silent to meditate on the words I heard and how quickly the response came.

I think one of the reasons our time in China was so challenging was because usually hubby and I take turns standing strong. We see one of us coping so well with the situation and it helps the other to rise to the occasion. In China neither of us rose to the occasion at least not right away. We both had to take a deep breath, pray our brains out and completely rely on our Lord!

We look back now at the situation and we understand our responses. We are ready to stand strong now and we love our sweet daughters with all our hearts. They are delightful and they bless us every day!

Most likely we will share what the Doctors and all the evaluations say, so as to help others that are traveling a similar road. I am guessing it is just low IQ, a variety of moderate delays and being a victim of life's circumstances. Emma is learning, it is going slow but she is making progress!

Hubby and I are so grateful for her in our lives. We are both up for the challenge and we are embracing it. Everyday we see progress- honestly it is thrilling!!

He said to me the other night that raising Emma may be one of the most fulfilling things we do in our lives! I like the sound of that!

Dear friend, there are so many of us that can relate! We go into adoption, perhaps, with one idea in mind, but God knows. And our children come to us needing exactly what God has equipped us to give. Praising God for his provision and plans!

I get it, friend. I am soooooo right there with you with my Haven. Been down that road you are beginning, as you know. It has changed my life from the inside out. Haven has changed me. In a GOOD way. I see thing differently since the Lord brought her into our lives. I have learned to have no expectations, but to trust the Father in the journey, knowing that His plans for Haven are so much better than I could ever dream of.

Right there with you. I know the Lord will equip you with everything you need to parent her WELL.

This is exactly what happened with us when we adopted Bryson. We signed up for clubfeet that could be repaired, not arthrogryposis and bilateral hip dysplasia! But that was not what God had in store for us and what a wonderful ride it has been. Can't imagine a second without that precious boy in our lives and I believe because of him that is why we are now adopting our precious Gracie!!

Oh, Jean, I so get this! Isn't it awesome to have a network of others who are in the same boat? As you wouldn't change it for the world, it's not what you expected--and that's OK. Google the poem Welcome to Holland. It was written by a parent who had a child with Down Syndrome, I believe. Sometimes what is least expected brings us the most joy. We are having some really difficult days with Selah--the behaviors are so incredibly bizarre to us, yet we take comfort, as do you, that God has given US this child...He knows you are the mother for Emma and will honor your obedience in bringing her home. Richest blessings!!

I don't have any adopted children, just the wish to do so one day. I totally identify with the idea that you didn't sign up for this.... our bio daughter was born "normal" and then at the age of 3 started having seizures. Turns out she had developed a rare brain disease and required surgery to disconnect half of her brain. We are now 5.5 years past surgery and although not what I would wish for any family, it has been fine. Her IQ is actually "normal" but she has reading issues, and of course looks like a kid with a stroke. Take each day as it comes, because even when you get to "sign up" or "get what you get" you can do what is required of you. Keep writing, I'll keep reading.

About Me

Jim and I have been married for 33 plus years. He is the love of my life and my best friend! We have 5 older birth children and we are adding to our family through the blessings of adoption. We love the Lord Jesus and it is our mission to serve him. We have stumbled along the way but he continues to pick us up and send us on the journey he has planned for us. We are very thankful for that!

Email me!

I love to hear from bloggy readers! However, due to adopting so many treasures and homeschooling them it is challenging for me to find the time to email back. I will try but I can't guarantee I will be able to get back to you. This season will pass and in the future I look forward to being able to answer back! Thank you for your understanding!

jean.mulvahill@gmail.com

Friends to Share With!

Matt, Caitlin and Elodie(not pictured)

Matt (34 yrs old) and Caitlin were married on June 28th, 2014! They live and work in Denver, CO. Matt is working as a biostatistician for Denver Childrens Hospital. Caitlin is a special needs preschool teacher at one of the school districts in Denver. They have a precious little girl named Elodie!

Katie, Andrew, Emily and Ali (not pictured)

Katie (32 yrs) and Andrew were married on July 6th, 2012! They live in Alexandria, Virginia. They have two daughters, Emily 2.5 yrs and Ali 10 months old!

Billy and Kelly (not pictured)

Billy is 29 yrs old! He has his masters in accounting and works at a local accounting firm. Billy and Mark have a house about 15 miles away! It's so nice to have him nearby!

Mark

Mark is 27 yrs old. He is currently working on his masters in business through the Carlson School of Business. We are so happy he is finally living in the same city that we are in!

Johnny

Johnny is 24 yrs old. He is attending the University of St Thomas in St Paul, MN. He is playing for the Tommies soccer team!

Sarah Grace

Sarah is 17 yrs old. She came home in December 2008!

Emma Joy

Emma is 17 yrs old and came home in mid July 2010 along with her biological sister Ellie!

Ella Mei

Ellie is 15 yrs old and came home with her bio sister Emma in mid July 2010!

Mia Christine

Mia is 16 yrs old! She came home on February 2nd, 2013!

Ava Marie

Ava is 12 yrs old! She has been home since April 1st, 2011!

Melissa Faith

Melissa is 12 yrs old! She came home from China in early February 2013!

Abigail Elizabeth

Abby is 12 yrs old! She came home in December 2011!

Anna Violet

Anna is 11 yrs old. She has been home since August of 2007!

Benjamin David

Ben is 11 yrs old. He came home from China in early December 2013!

Samuel Jacob

Sam is 11 yrs old. He has been home since April 1st, 2011!

Madeline Mary

Madeline is 11 yrs old. She came home from China in early February 2013!

Joseph Michael

Joey is 9 yrs old! He came home with his new brother Ben this past December 2013!

Luke Lewis

Luke is 9 yrs old! He is our youngest! He came home in December 2011!

Quick Update On Us!

Hubby and I have 5 bio kids that are currently 21-31 yrs old. As our bio children were leaving the nest we felt called to serve our Lord through the blessings of adoption!

We have adopted 13 waiting children from China! Anna came home first on August 8th, 2007 (at 16 months). She is currently 9 yrs old! Sarah came home on December 5th, 2008 (at 8.5 yrs old). She is 15 yrs old now. Emma and Ellie came home on July 19th, 2010! They are bio sibs, and were 8 and 10 yrs old when they came home! They are now 14 and 12 yrs old. Next we brought home Sam at 4.5 yrs old and Ava Marie at 5.5 yrs old at the time of their adoption. They came home on April 1st, 2011 and are now 8.5 yrs and 10 yrsold.! Both of the kids are from Henan Province.

On our 5th adoption trip we journeyed to Abby and Luke. They came home at 5.5 and 3 yrs old. They have adjusted well! They are currently 9 and 6 years old!

We will traveled back to China for adoption trip #6 in January 2013. This time God blessed us with 3 lovely daughters from China! Mia is 12 years old, Melissa is 9 years old and Madeline is 8 years old now. We feel so very blessed to have these darling girls in our family!

Our 7th and last adoption trip to China was to bring home our two boys- Ben 7 yrs and Joseph 5 yrs. The boys are now 9 and 6.5 yrs old

We have had many many procedures and surgeries over the years, God has been so very kind and they have been amazingly successful!! We still have more surgeries in our future and we will rely on HIM and pray our way through.

Hubby and I are passionate about special needs adoption. We feel called to adopt and we are loving every minute of it! We are both in our mid to late 50's. We can't think of anything we would love to do more than what we are doing right now! We are thankful for this opportunity to enjoy these wonderful children!

We have chosen to home school our children from China. When adopting older children they really don't fit into one grade, they are combination of many grades (including 2nd in math but Pre-k in reading/phonics). We also feel like we missed out on so many years with our wonderful children, we don't want to miss out on any more! Plus it is great for attachment and bonding!!

If you are considering adoption feel free to email or message me with any questions you may have!