The day you were born was the most wonderful day of my life! Really? What happened? Well, it was raining around 1 a.m. when I woke your dad and told him it was time to go to St. Earl's. My water just broke! We grabbed our hospital bag, but we drove off with my purse on the roof of the car! Screech! Stop! He was fishing my wallet out of a storm drain when the contractions started coming faster. Hurry! The OB/GYN was late, your dad passed out in the delivery room ... anyway, after seventeen hours of labor you were born. My mom has an odd definition of "wonderful."

It's coming down pretty hard. What?? That's nothing! When you were my age, there was a blizzard every day! Drifts ten feet high! You had to shovel your way to school! I can't wait 'til spring. Every neighborhood has it's own glacier.

This Pottymouth concert better be worth it. I mean, I'm their biggest fan and all. And they are one of the best guitar mayhem bands ever. At least in the top ten. BOOM. You know, I never was fond of their third album. Courage, dude … The box office opens in less than fifty-six hours.

Knock! Knock! Knock! How would you describe the intensity? Did you see the funnel cloud? What would you estimate the wind speed was? Get a shot of the debris field. Based on the destruction, I'd say it was an F-5. My mom put you up to this, didn't she? Storm Chasers.

All major highways are closed, and residents are urged to stay off the roads until furt -- THAT'S IT! WE HAVE A SNOW DAY! No school … … No work … … No obligations whatsoever! Let's get busy! What is it about free time that makes Mom so hyper? Probably a lack of exposure.