Friday, December 12, 2008

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

First of all, I want to thank everyone who's sent in submissions for The Great BSNYC/RTMS Fyxomatosis Photo Parody Contest (presented by the Gourmet Cheese of the Month Club) so far. The response has been overwhelming (and by "overwhelming" I mean perverse and occasionally nauseating) and I am looking forward to sharing some of them with you next week.

Secondly, in the spirit of reciprocity, I am punishing you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and then click on your answer. If you're right you'll see either the item or confirmation that you were correct. If you're wrong, you'll see what we'll all be wearing in the post-Apocalyptic future.

I thought a doping control was trying to cut back on it during work hours, y'know, like none during the day except maybe a chronic break over the lunch hour. People would talk about it and I was like, "yeah, damn straight doping control improves performance, but I totally understand why riders would want to use dope all the time."

Finding out that it's actually a place where if they find you with drugs you get in trouble puts a whole new spin on this professional cycling thing.

I don't want to critique the Bonneville bike thing, but the bff can do better. I can understand why he was going so slow, that rock was totes heavy, and with that leg extension you can only overextend your knees so many times on a sansbreakcycle before you can't skiddz so proper.

The guy riding in the water is not really a mountain biker because a real mountain biker would see the edge of that trail and say: "perfect skinny!" and try to ride it. No, this guy is a roadie in disguise of a mountain biker.

That Fixie movie is hilarious. Its good to see that at least a few fixie hipsters can make fun of themselves. Self-depricating humor is a sign of maturity. But wait... Are they really hipsters? Or are they just making fun of hipsters like the rest of us? Maybe I've been fooled. I'm so naive!

that snugllie com mercial gave me a good ideal if i buy one for billy bob joe bob jimmy bob and ricky i might of spent 300 smokes but if i gets them on tv i saves 240 big ones and i dont see how you cans beat that with a stick

I watched the "Film" all the way through. Not sure why. I guess i was hoping the guy would croak on the flats. I mean come on man, black man-prees, black chrome bag, and no water bottle riding on a big salt block?

Good question to start with but I think you may have been off the mark on why he fell to his knees.

Okay he wasn't looking for a plot line, but that rock wasn't a metaphor for his meaningless and directionless life either. If you had been watching the film closely you would have noticed that the rock had fallen out of his head during the ride and dropped serendipitiously (there's a lot of serendipity in bad film making) into the messenger bag and he was just making it comfortable in the sand before he put it back in his head and rode back to the crack motel. There was also some foreshadowing (lots of foreshadowing in bad films too) when we got a low angle shot of another rock that had fallen out of his head the last time he had ridden through the flats.

A better question about this film would have been: who did the director hire to put all the faux pubic hairs in the faux projector gate?

O. K., can somebody who understands the internets better than me please explain something? The post indicates that it was published at 8:42 a.m. The first comment is listed at 1:55 p.m. I assume that 1:55 is Eastern Standard Time. Does this mean that the server is somewhere 5 hours behind NYC time (Hawaii, perhaps)? Considering the number of idiots podium racing every day (me included on occassion) is it possible that the post was up for 7 minutes before the first comment? Is any part of the Federal bailout money giong to sync times on the internet?

Anon 4:20 - Time has no effect on BSNYC. He resides in a separate, sometimes parallel, sometimes perpendicular, universe. Any attempt to label his actions using our earthly time system is doomed to fail. Like trying to explain the orbit of Mercury, it will require a massive shift in paradigm to begin to answer your question.

anon 420 - with a handle like that you gotta be good! but i digress. i know nothing about the series of tubes you refer to, but part of the 7 minutes could be accounted for by the fact that commentators are at least ostensibly (and using that big a word you know i am a fast reader) reading the post, and i know i got way caught up in the amazing blanket with sleeves ad...

I'll go ahead and say it: I didn't NOT like the film. I enjoyed the music and the scenery. As far as being a hipster goes, their "actor" clearly wasn't trying hard enough. No keffiyeh, no wayfarers.. I mean come on.

Back in the old days, like last week and before, getting an answer wrong would give you a worse video than the right answer. Now you get "films" and "raps." Not only are they painful to watch, they make the people in that snuggie thing look attractive by comparison.

Being over 50, I tend to use the word "hip" only in medical contexts, but I feel that the "auteur" responsible for "Perspective Lines" needs a hip replacement himself. What could be more plastic than all the faux "scratchy film" artifacts he's added to what was no doubt shot on video? How bogus. The next thing you know advertising execs will be buying fixed-gear bikes and pretending to be urban rebels! Oh, wait a minute...

Fear not for the safety of Salt Flats racers. They are not a bunch of gearheads who go out to the salt and blast around, assuming there are no obstacles. Like any race course, it is carefully inspected and prepared before every event. The salt is getting thin, so the events are cancelled some years in order to keep from wrecking the course.

But there still should not be crack heads leaving rocks half a mile in from the highway.

Not being one to hate on riders who doped, got busted and did their time (nobody's perfect) I imagined Michael Ball to be a free thinking, raconteur / entrepreneur who was not afraid to ruffle feathers while he gave riders like this another chance. I only questioned Ball's integrity because he used his business sense to get some of these downtrodden one-time stars on the cheap, choosing to put his money into his marketing. Then I came to like Ball for employing and promoting Rahsaan Bahati, perhaps the only outstanding African American Pro (let alone being one of the very few AA riders one sees in the sport!) It is an important problem in pro cycling that there are not more development programs supporting improved universality of inclusion and diversity in our sport.

Bahati isn't just any racer, his palmares are impressive at his young age. But his smooth pedaling style is second to none- he needs good coaching to bring out the power that is there! He is also a good ambassador speaking at schools about his experiences on the road to becoming a great Pro!

It wasn't Kaylee Leogrande's ban for doping that made me turn and dislike Michael Ball! It was reading how genuinely nice and cool Bahati was, as the winningmost guy on Rock Racing 2008, after just being cut from the team's A Roster by Ball!

Mr. Ball makes a big mistake to bring any press other than praise for Rahsaan Bahati! Not promoting him as a protected rider for 2009 is a crime! Standing on his fine racing record and accomplishments alone he should get a class A ride for 2009! But when you consider his contributions to the community it is very important. Coming from diverse Rogers Park in Barack Obama's Chicago, and being a parent of a black daughter I am ashamed that more people are not speaking out! Additionally, I believe that change needs to come from everyone in our community!

Ted, Y'know I think this is what happens when the team owner is also the main corporate sponsor. There's no one to say you shouldn't do that. Frankie Andreu tried, perhaps Cipo did also. We'll never know.

About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!