Vic’s NFL picks against the spread Week 1

Vic’s picks
Was going to take our near-60 percent success rate the last two years and run, but the bosses said “Don’t slow your roll, baby.” Or something to that effect.
Daddy needs a new pair of shoes …
Thursday
Packers at Seahawks (-5.5) – Fools go against Seattle at home, but why is it you often see fools smiling? Russell Wilson may outplay Aaron Rodgers, but Eddie Lacy will out-“Beast-mode” Marshawn Lynch. Take the points. PACKERS
Sunday
49ers (-5) at Cowboys – If S.F. does play Ray McDonald, know this: not all the players will be on board (at least privately). This is a big-time distraction. But Dallas’ defense really stinks and Frank Gore will save the day. 49ERS
Raiders at Jets (-5) – Rookie QB on the road against a Rex Ryan defense. Plus Jets are tough vs. the run. Nothing else matters in this one, plus Raiders new defense will need time to gel. JETS
Saints (-3) at Falcons –New Orleans is our Super Bowl pick, and that outweighs Julio Jones being back for Atlanta. These games are always close, but Drew Brees gets it off in the right direction. SAINTS
Vikings at Rams (-4) – So … St. Louis is done after Sam Bradford got hurt, huh? That makes no sense. RAMS
Browns at Steelers (-6.5) – The QB handling has been a mess, but it doesn’t matter if Brian Hoyer or Johnny Football or Brian Sipe is playing for Cleveland Sunday. The best unit on the field is Cleveland’s defense. BROWNS
Jaguars at Eagles (-10) – Chip Kelly is re-inventing offense in Philly and Jacksonville chose Chad Henne over Blake Bortles to start at QB. Too easy. That’s what everyone is saying … A-ha! JAGUARS
Bengals at Ravens (-2) –When’s the last time anybody called Joe Flacco an elite QB? It’s been too long, I say. Flacco outperforms newly-richer Andy Dalton for the home win. RAVENS
Bills at Bears (-6.5) – Buffalo may not be very good. Like, really bad. But so is the Bears defense, and the back door is wide open. BILLS
Washington at Texans (-2.5) – Robert Griffin III hasn’t played well in a really long time, and the coach was hired because he kind of looks like Jon Gruden. Also, this is a big bounce-back year for Houston. TEXANS
Titans at Chiefs (-4) –No way a team looks past its season-opener against a boring team that starts Shonn Greene at RB and thinks about the Broncos coming up next. No way Kansas City does that. No … TITANS and the points.
Patriots (-4.5) at Dolphins –Tom Brady, champion QB still or an overrated hair model? Discuss. No, he’s still pretty good, TD machine Rob Gronkowski is back, and they will stay cool in the Miami sun. PATRIOTS
Panthers at Bucs (-1.5) –Don’t love this one. But Cam Newton is banged up and his offensive line is going to have trouble protecting him. BUCS
Colts at Broncos (-7.5) – Peyton Manning going to lose to Andrew Luck for the second straight year? No. Is Denver going to blow out my AFC Super Bowl pick, without Wes Welker? No. COLTS and the points.
Monday
Giants at Lions (-5.5) – Matthew Stafford is pretty good in season-openers. I guess he’s pretty good all the time. And I don’t know what’s happened to Eli Manning. LIONS
Chargers at Cardinals (-3) – Arizona’s defense is a lot worse than last season but the offense is very good, and WRs Larry Fitzgerald and Michael Floyd will both have big years. In a shootout, CARDINALS.