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Summary

Holy shit you guys, I know Dave's never gonna publish this but I absolutely had to. I found it in his diary under his bed. He'll probably be pissed with me but damn, he should get into Mills and Boon or some shit. Off the record, though, this all happened. Pretty much.- John.

P.S. Okay, I might have posted this when I was drunk. Sue me. Fuck it, I mean, I'm happy now, which is pretty fucking great. Just read it, and remember that Dave tends to understate my sick karate skills.