this season finds me – your trusty narrator – in really good form: (semi) light. strong. really really stoked hyped with only a few small injuries tarnishing the shimmer. yes, my current physicality is comparable to a nice set of silverware.

remember kids: the awkward fork is for salads

the fascinating thing about getting better – aside from dinner etiquette metaphors – is how it radically alters your optics. its not that previously untouchable lines now appear doable (alas, they do not), but you see start to see things in the rock that simply weren’t available before. old problems suddenly have new sit starts and – will you look at that – the king line right next to it isn’t even chalked up. fitness and time yield stuff. and despite science being on the way out – RIP – it’s all still very exciting.

with that in mind, i’ve been spending some time in the woods (re)scanning old areas as well as parsing new spots. it’s a bit of a renaissance. so instead of letting it pass without note, i’m going to try to make this space a repository for the super-rad world-making process that is boulder development.

there won’t be much in the way of grandiose proclamations regarding quality, but you can be sure i’ll make amends in the realm of self-deprecation and lowball photos.

here we go again. the fifth or six (re)revival of this blog. standard blog crap, i know, but i make no apologies for the lull and no promises for better production. it is what it is.

short sentences and sporadic content. hooray.

but for some reason i kinda think this ‘go’ is built to last. special, even. why? i actually have an urge to write things… with WORDS. my daily as a stay-at-home-dad has left my brain in shambles; baby talk and lack of sleep have given me a sort of post-modern slackjawism that i really need to buck even if it only involves the pointless shallow self-talk of a climbing blog (huzzah!). so there’s the therapeutic value. it better work because i’m billing myself 150/hr.

i’ve also incorporated a few fundamental changes to format and content to make it easier to maintain my stride. first off, the old lolwebz format/voice is dead. i’m sure it still perseveres somewhere in the internetswebosphere, but it has suffered the great editorial axe here at It Came from the Garage. if nothing else, we try desperately to hover at the bleeding edge of cultural relevance.

booya. who’s your daddy? where’s the beef?

second, the revival is actually just a brand new thing rather than a full-fledged comeback tour. think Phish rather than the Dead. totally not the same band (but sorta kinda the same exact band). the new new raison d’etre of this space is less focused on the cultural detritus of climbing and more textually aimed at training for climbing and – you know – actual climbing. we aren’t completely canning the cultural hooha but its taking a definite back seat to my riveting tales of pullups, situps, and jumping jacks (all three pivotal elements of a climbing training regiment).

on the training front you might expect description rather than prescription. of course, you’re free to do whatever you want (kinda), but my masochism shouldn’t necessarily be copied. think i’m a kook? awesome. think i’m onto something. cool.

hopefully i can keep this riveting enough to keep you coming back for more.

the only way i could manage to take a dump on my Lamborghini without a ladder

in case you haven’t been paying attention to the big silence that is It Came from the Garage, i took a rather long respite from the climbing blogosphere. a respite is – of course – a euphemism for playing video games, drinking beer, and watching sports used by the over-educated (HI I’VE READ ADORNO!) and unemployed to make being ordinary sound like an action montage cut from a pile of Spielberg movies. truth is, just like old people at stop lights, i got tired bored.

but that’s all fine and good. a 21st century dude sometimes needs a healthy does of social media distractions and drugs to settle himself in the often torrid seas of the present. i mean, the world is imploding on itself. wild inequity threatens the social “balance”, environmental degradation is spoiling the..um… spoils of the earth, and – according to this pamphlet i’m reading – a fallen angel named SATAN has deployed homosexuals to destroy the world.

RUN FOR YOUR LIFE FRODO!!!

shit is dire folks. giving up – while not something which shines on your resume – has never looked better.

but enough is enough. after some time being a ‘dick’ on climbing forums, i’ve decided to fire up ye olde blog again. we have some serious catchings up to do.

What’s New in the Rockclimbings?

the most important thing to know is i’m kinda great at it. and by kinda i mean totally. you know that feeling you get when everything clicks into place? like when Harry Potter finally figures out he’s a super magical badass/magical super badass and not just a mop-headed weirdo with a scar? yeah, well its kinda like that for me, but without all the goofy friends.

they hate this problem. they hate this crag. its dirty. its dabby. its in the shade. its reachy. bears. its too close to the road. its runout. its contrived. its soft. a bunch of permas. its stupid. its a dropoff. too many spraylords. the approach sucks. it smells bad. the landing sucks. its in the sun. its sandbagged. its grid bolted. there are dogs. its crunchy. its polished. there are noobs there. no permas.

fuck this place. everything sucks.

sound familiar? well it should because this is as good as it’s gonna get.

2012 bitches. we’re all gonna die anyhow so we might as well hone up our douchery as a prologue.

now where’d i put my jambox? puppy and cooler are already in the car; time to go climbing.

three important ingredients: 1) Jens “Hey I Don’t Understand What Debate Means” Larssen (Founder of 8a.nu and General Innovator) 2) 8a.nu (news and quantitative spray/”debate” site), and 3) my distance from the much-loathed but still popular site ((time+space/8a.nu)+me). it was all there. fondness, however, not so much. when i returned i found this*:

* bold emphasis mine.

Debate/Jens:

Jamie Emerson is working on a topo for RMNP where Jade is located giving him a delicate issue, that in a way also describes grading theory, and the problem for 8a once producing news.

Jade seems to be a reachy one move problem that Daniel Woods, 168 cm?, did in 2007. In the 2008 8a yearbook, Björn Pohl appointed it to be one of the Top-10 most difficult problem in the world. It has been, rather quickly, repeated by five taller guys but no suggested downgrade before Carlo Traversi did so last week.

Grades are delicate matters but if we only base it on feelings and consensus, we will never get it right. We must include second opinions, facts and Time Comparison Grading analyses. A topo producer or 8a can not just wait until another five guys like Carlo has suggested another grade.

If we think grades are important I think a slash grade 8B+/8C is appropriate but if we do NOT think grades are so important and accurate, I would go for Jamie Emerson gut feeling.

I would also like to underline that it is just naturalthat the FA’s can not get it right 100 %. Daniel Woods has been leading the pack by 12 first ascent boulders graded 8B+ to 8C+. He has a clean record showing that he is very capable of suggesting humble FA grades. He has been a true role model since he was 19-years-old!

At the Vertical Carnival blog, Cedar Wright, who filmed Woods’ ascent of The Game, quoted him on the name: “I called this problem The Game because for me the climb was a game I had to play; I had to click into game mode, and really train myself for these moves. I had to grow mentally strong and also physically strong to be able to put it together. I call it The Game because I played the game and I ended up winning the game, so game over.”

this site, once home to my frustration with being a world-class rock-scaling machine, has – for the moment – passed into the interweb shadow world.

i’d like to thank all the readers, linkers, commenters, sponsors, and flamers who helped make this site one the most important blogs in the history of america.

indeed, with your support we helped push climbing standards forward by months, thought of new and better ways to win at life, and helped elect Obama. we also learned a thing or two about friendship along the way. and honesty. and ethics.