The ongoing saga of one woman trying to be the lone beacon of reason in the sea of ridiculousness that flows through her taxi.

10/1/07

"GAH!! LET ME OUTTA HERE!!"

I picked up this group of drunken younger fellas heading out to a bachelor party and - as they do - the loudest, funniest of the group sat up front with me.

Me: Hey fellas. So who's the lucky guy?

Guy In Front: It's me!! I'm getting married in the morning so I totally have to see all the naked women I can tonight before I can never, ever look at another naked woman again.

Me: You mean, other than your future wife, right?

GIF: You're funny. HeeeEEeeeyyy, do you think you might be willing ...

Me: Nope.

GIF: Whaddaya mean?

Me: WhatEVER it was you were about to propose the answer is no. So don't ask. Don't even think it. Concentrate on your lovely wife-to-be and how happy she is going to be that you're out here checking out what you'll never get again.

GIF: Oh, and she sure is happy about this party, lemme tell ya.

Me: She didn't want you to go tonight, izzat what you're saying?

GIF: Gawd, you have no idea how angry this made her. But I'm going anyway 'cuz I'm not going to let no woman ruin my time with my boys.

I hear the typical "Bros before Ho's" comments from the backseat.

When we get to the strip joint (Union Jacks) one of the fellas in the back seat is digging money out of his pocket to pay me and GIF is trying to drunkenly open the door to get out.

GIF: Hey, what's the deal here? Why can't I get out. Oh, I get it, you want to keep me hostage in here so you can do all kinds of nasty things to me all night long, huh?

Me: Actually, your wife-to-be paid me to not let you out of the cab.

GIF: GAH!! LET ME OUTTA HERE!!!"

He throws a big enough fit that one of his friends opens the door and lets him out. He practically fell out on the ground, rights himself and just stares at me as if I was sent by Satan.