“Those suffering from musophobia would be wise to steer clear of the South Farallon Islands. The archipelago, which sits just 27 miles off San Francisco, is the most rodent-dense island in the world, with an average of 500 Eurasian house mice occupying each of its 120 acres (that’s 60,000 total).”

Now I’ll tell you, I have had it with these motherfucking mice on this motherfucking island.

See? That was a huge success. Now the chopper pilots were nervous up there ’cause a big storm was coming so they wanted to bug out of there with a quickness so they didn’t follow their marching orders very well so more bald eagles died than was necessary. But they killed all the rats on Rat Island, hurray!

All we need to do is nothing. Then the feds can get off their asses and start killing all the mice.

(Gentle Readers, you know that I love you, all 14 of you, no matter what. But others, well, they only care about cosmetic-type things – they’ll like you better if you pay somebody to shoot protein into your face, oh well.)

Can you imagine making a post on the Yelp about your plastic surgeon and then getting hit with a multi-million dollar defamation (plus invasion of privacy plus interference with prospective economic advantage, you know, the whole megillah) lawsuit?

You know, one of these days, I’ll start a half-assed non-profit, pay myself a six-figure salary, put the wife on staff, hire the kids too, put cute animal pictures on the homepage to keep the cash coming in – whew, good times.

In general, however, it is known that owls are an opportunistic eater, feasting on the introduced house mice, but also preying upon songbirds, small seabirds (such as the ashy storm-petrel), beetles, and other terrestrial invertebrates …

While they rate very high on the cuteness quotient, overwintering Burrowing Owls are major predators of storm petrels during the spring, after abundant housemice have their seasonal population crash. Western Gulls also take many storm …

In 1969, south farallon was declared a national wildlife refuge. the lighthouse was automated in 1972, ending 117 years of continuous occupation. the last rabbit and cat were removed from the islands in 1974…