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As you all know by now, there is no explanation for how we have come to this battle already. You can use your own imagination to figure out that a lot must have happened...... I think.

"I'm not going to back away because of this! Y, you evil alien Yuuki. Hurry up and leave Earth......! You...... Um....."

"You are the one that should disappear from this time period. She is ours. That is how valuable she is. Though she has yet to discover that she possesses such precious powers. We will need her powers in order to invade Earth."

"I, I, I won't let you have your way, even if it means losing my life."

"In that case, die!"

This time Yuuki didn't bring his cat, but instead brought three people who seem to be high school students. Of these three people, there was an energetic guy and two confused-looking young girls.

"Mitsuru, you have no right to ask me to come to my senses dressed like that!"

This "Tsuruya-san" showed his true self for an instant and intentionally twitched his mouth,

"Mitsuru, I'm sorry. I don't want to do this, but I can't control myself. I'm really sorry."

"Kya?"

"Come, Mitsuru, prepare to die~"

Tsuruya-sempai, whose acting was [relatively] superb, now slowly approached Mitsuru with the other two people.

Yuuki stayed behind and commanded the situation by waving his wand. Some sort of unknown psychic waves must have been emitted from that magic wand of his, turning Tsuruya-sempai and the other two into Nagato's personal zombies.

The terrifying Yuuki is actually using such a devious method so that there's no way for Mitsuru to fight back. What will Mitsuru do?

"Waaaaaa, waaaaa~!"

Looks like there is nothing he can do.

Poor little Mitsuru was now picked up and carried by Tsuruya-sempai and the other two by his arms and legs, and then tossed him into the green murky pond. Somehow, one of the two female zombies, the goofy looking one, also fell into the pond as well. Don't worry about her, she'll climb out by herself anyway.

"Ah, help...... Waa......!"

The pond looked very deep indeed. Mitsuru was now in a state of panic, and was beating the water frantically, which also meant he was hardly moving away from his spot at all. At this rate he will sink to the bottom of the pond and become food for the fish. Mitsuru couldn't swim...... Or rather the story says he couldn't swim, so all he could do was splash frantically on the water, creating lots of white foam. Mitsuru is now in great danger.

On the other hand, this is also a great opportunity for the female protagonist to lend a helping hand.

"You okay?"

Coming in calmly was Koizumi Itsuko. She knelt down by the pond side, and like a main character from a comic book, reached her hand out to Mitsuru who was close to drowning. Although when the hero of the story has to be saved by the damsel in distress, one begins to wonder about direction of the story [, if not the casting, too].

Here comes the question. Just where on Earth did Itsuko come from? The pond has few places to hide nearby. Judging by how long it takes for her to reach Mitsuru after he fell in, she must have been watching all this from the sidelines. What's even more incredible was that Yuuki, who up till now was still waving his wand, had now vanished without a trace along with his three henchmen. This was a great chance to finish off Mitsuru. Just where the hell did they all go?

"......Brr...... Cold......"

After being rescued by Itsuko, Mitsuru coughed non-stop and crawled onto shore slowly.

"What are you doing in a place like this?"

Itsuko asked, but Mitsuru didn't answer. He only stared blankly at her, and then after a while he finally spoke,

"What was I doing? ......Well...... I got thrown into the pond by some bad people...... Ugh......"

At this moment, a sound came from afar, followed by Mitsuru moaning and drooping over at once. Yup, according to the script, he's supposed to be injured now.

Usually, when girls like Itsuko face such a situation, they would usually call an ambulance or call someone nearby for help. Yet Itsuko went against convention and threw one of Mitsuruís arms over her shoulders and helped the barely alert Mitsuru stand up. You bitch! Just where do you think you're taking an injured cute guy to? Even if you tried to scream at her like that, Itsuko still slowly walked away looking determined.

So determined, as though she was being controlled by psychic waves, she carried Mitsuru away from the scene.

She then took him to a place. [[Wow, this line from the original isÖ awkward.]]

I'm banging my head against a wall over a paragraph partway through this one:

Spoiler for Part 6/8:

That place is none other than where she lives.

The director may have omitted a lot of detailed filming, but it's not hard to guess that Itsuko's house must be very enormous, which can be observed from her helping Mitsuru into her very spacious Japanese-style room.

Besides the fact that Itsuko has shown her true colors by groping the now fully unconscious Mitsuru, another thing of note is that Mitsuru seems to have just taken a bath and is now looking very captivating.

Yet it's very hard to imagine how an unaware person can take a bath all by himself. This also means that besides having his innocent body molested by the hands of this grinning hypocrite, there's no guarantee that nothing else has happened to him. Before these questions even have a chance of getting processed by the brain, one would already be consumed by wrath, which would in turn manifest itself into a murderous intent. Kind of like how I'm feeling right now.

Instead of being concerned about being ambushed by Yuuki, Itsuko ought to worry more about how half the school is going to go after her life [wardrobe?].

It's already criminal enough to bring a guy, who has been stunned senseless after nearly drowning, to her own room while he's still unconscious. To give him a bath would be beyond criminal, it would be a crime of the most primitive nature. The person who did this...... No, the bitch [[thatís from the original]] Itsuko who did such a despicable act ought to be sliced into many pieces alive, and her family would get no compensation for that either [Ödespicable act ought to have her clothes shredded, her hair dyed, and horrible things written about her on bathroom stalls [or anything else high school girls would do to each other]]. It's her own fault for actually doing what every girl in the school wants to do instead.

Itsuko now placed Mitsuru on a mattress which wasn't there before, and then knelt beside him. She crossed her arms and went into deep thought. Wanna bet? I bet that her mind is probably very empty right now.

Seeing how she has obediently followed orders from afar, she now moved closer to Mitsuru's face. If she dares move one centimeter closer, then someone who isn't supposed to appear in the movie will break the fourth wall and scratch Itsukoís* knowing little smirk right off her face. Fortunately, she was stopped by someone whose appearance in this scene isn't that surprising.

*[[Originally there was an additional line:[ ...... I mean the guy who plays Itsukoís]. I donít know how to keep this or even if I want to keep this. Remember, Kyonko doesnít refer to Itsuko by her last name.]]

"Hold it,"

Sticking his head in the window, and looking like a grim-reaper in training, is none other than Nagato Yuuki. I forgot to mention this is the second floor so no one knows where he was standing by before he entered this scene, and please do try to continue and suspend your disbelief.

Yuuki, who would be more appropriately called an angel in funeral garb than a grim reaper, leapt through the window and quickly stood up again.

"Koizumi Itsuko, you shouldn't choose him. Only by joining with me can you fulfill your power's potential,"

Yuuki said plainly while staring at Itsuko with his dark eyes which remain calm for 24 hours a day.

Itsuko's acting is honestly crap. She didn't look panicked at all when she found out that Yuuki had appeared suddenly through the window. When it was her turn to speak -

"Huh? What do you mean?"

Only at the end did she raise the pitch of her voice and make a serious face.

"I cannot explain right now, but one day you will understand. You have two choices: You can choose me and advance this universe towards its true form, or choose him and pluck out the possibilities of the future."

If I remember correctly, 30% of this line by Yuuki was made up on the spot. Is that sentence directed to Itsuko's real identity?

As for the true meaning of Nagato's...... sorry, Yuuki's words, we'll leave that till later. Itsuko now looked troubled and went into contemplation,

"I see. No matter which path she chooses...... No wait, right now that would be me in this scene. The key is with me, right? Come to think of it, there's not much a key can do besides opening the door. If that door opens, something would happen, right? I'm afraid if something does happen......"

Itsuko paused her ramblings for a while, and for some reason she looked at the camera with very thoughtful eyes. Just who the hell is she speaking to?

"I understand now, Yuuki-san. Right now I don't have the right to decide yet. It's still too early to come to any conclusions now. Can we leave this decision till later? We still need time to think about it. Of course if you're willing to tell us everything, then that's a different story."

"It won't be far off before we do that, but I am certain it is not now. We are used to viewing insufficient data as defects. We will not make any move if we are not absolutely sure of it."

Such an enigmatic conversation. There seems to be a bond of understanding between Itsuko and Yuuki which no one else can comprehend.

Yuuki nodded slowly, then looked at the pink faced Mitsuru sleeping soundly. He then climbed out of the window and disappeared at once. He didn't exactly jump off from the second floor.
He merely leapt onto the balcony. It's just that it can't be seen from the camera.

Itsuko once again reverted to her thoughtful expression and continued to look at the sleeping Mitsuru.

[[Iíd appreciate help with his reactions in this paragraph]]
When Mitsuru wakes up and realizes his current situation, he will be so embarrassed that he'll probably [orig: throw anything at Itsuko that he can lay his hands on]. After all, he was staying all alone with a girl and wearing only pajama bottoms. It's only natural that he would think he has been molested and proceed to [orig: beat the crap out of Itsuko], right? Please do let the story go in this direction.

Despite all these expectations, it's time for another commercial. We now present you with these messages from Yamatsuchi Model Store, again announced by our actors.

......

After the commercial, the story now takes us to a brand new setting, with all the battles from before all completely forgotten. Suddenly we're now in a romantic comedy, I seriously don't know what the director is thinking anymore.

According to the script, Mitsuru has settled down in Itsuko's place and the story's now basically a fluff story about a young couple living together. The romance is so cheesy that one feels like playing dead just to get through the embarrassment of having to watch this.

Scenes include Mitsuru trying to swallow some terrible cooking by an excited Itsuko; Mitsuru sending Itsuko off to school at the door, accidentally touching Itsuko's finger, and jumping in shock in an exaggerated way; Mitsuru blushing furiously; and Mitsuru working hard on the chores and merrily greeting Itsuko as she returns from school.

I felt like screaming, Give me a break already! However, screams like these are likely to fall on deaf ears, so naturally I suppressed the impulse. Itsuko and Mitsuru continue singing songs of praise for pure romance. Itsuko, mind if I swap places with you? [[Depending on what direction we go with Kyonkoís feeling for Mitsuru, then this last line will probably change.]]

By the way, Koizumi Itsuko is currently living with her brother - in order to accommodate the sudden changes to the script, this ten year old fifth grader was brought in...... Sorry, he just had his birthday last month, so he's now eleven. He's now seen running around and tagging along with Itsuko and Mitsuru. Now this is yet another enigmatic scene, just what was the meaning in introducing Itsuko's brother anyway?

Amidst all this romance, the battle between Mitsuru and Yuuki over Itsuko has now been moved into Itsuko's school.

Spoiler for Part 7/8:

Now who would've thought that Yuuki would have transferred into Itsuko's school? I have no idea how on Earth the director came up with such filler material. As far as the plot goes, Yuuki has abandoned his black cloak having decided that it would be a better strategy for him to befriend Itsuko in order to get closer to her, while marginalizing Mitsuru at the same time. He began his mental assault on Itsuko by placing love letters inside her shoe locker. He then followed that up by [confessing? [He is a guy so he should be taking the initiative]] [orig: bringing two sets of boxed lunches], looking for Itsuko during lunch time, waiting for Itsuko by the school gate after school, and secretly keeping photos of Itsuko in his wallet. I think that's more of an inspiration than a strategy.

Needless to say, seeing Yuuki's maneuvers Mitsuru also went on the offensive. He promptly transferred into Itsuko's school as well. Wouldn't it be better if they both transferred at the beginning of the story instead? Since Mitsuru is here to protect Itsuko, it wouldn't be odd for both of them to be in the same school. In fact, it would sound absolutely normal.

Unbelievably, and without any explanation at all, Mitsuru and Yuuki did not fight each other with their mysterious beams and flashing wands. Seems like both of them have now switched their objective into seeing "who can capture Itsuko's heart first."

The story was already quite confusing to begin with, and now it has developed into a two guy reverse harem shoujo story.

It was pretty obvious that Yuuki would be at a disadvantage. Since Mitsuru is already living with Itsuko, they have all the right conditions to becoming a couple. For Yuuki, who's staying no one knows where, this is a difficult wall to climb, just like how the Great Wall of China has deterred the northern nomadic tribes from invading.

In order to turn things around, the script has Yuuki resort to extreme methods.

"......"

"Waa! What are you doing?"

Disregarding the situation and Mitsuruís outburst, Yuuki grabbed Itsuko tightly by the shoulders and looked into her eyes. Looks like the director wanted to shake Itsuko up by giving her some sudden physical contact with guys. Yet the executor of this plan, Yuuki, was way too expressionless. It's really hard to read any emotional upheavals from this. Instead, this scene looked rather absurd.

This is because his movements and expression were not congruent at all.

On the other hand, Mitsuru ought to look jealous upon finding the two of them embracing each other. Meanwhile Itsuko doesn't even seem slightly concerned with all of this commotion. There's just no emotion at all in their acting.

Then again, one shouldn't really be concerned with what Itsuko does anyway.

In fact, looking at the clock, it's about time for all the players to gather around to wrap things up for the ludicrous finale.

Maybe they've begun to grow tired of this lighthearted high school romantic subplot, in which they've come to an unspoken truce. Mitsuru and Yuuki would occasionally don their usual costumes and return to their posts as a battle waiter and alien magician, where they would go into random skirmishes.

The story becomes more and more confusing with the development of the following scenes:

Mitsuru and Yuuki + Shamisen fighting in the bamboo garden at the back of the school;

Mitsuru and Yuuki slugging it out outside someone's residence, with Shamisen looking very bored;

Mitsuru and Yuuki running round and round in Itsuko's house, while the little brother laughs in amusement and carries Shamisen in his arms.

After all these irrelevant scenes, the viewer would be utterly exasperated to find that the romantic triangle subplot has reappeared for no reason once again.

So far, Itsuko has remained indecisive over Mitsuru and Yuuki. Looking at her situation, it's only natural for the audience to curse her good luck, and it's pretty obvious that the audience would be completely composed of females. Sadly, the god in charge of the script, who also happens to be the Ultra Director, has kicked all those noises out of the window and was determined to continue stubbornly.

That is why the development of the plot has so far been like a gorilla participating in a cycling race without knowing how to brake. He would crash every time he turns, and then he would barge his way forward as though nothing had ever happened.

Yet, no matter how many brilliant ideas our Ultra Director had, no matter how inconsiderate he was, he eventually realized that if this "shoot as we go along" approach were to continue without an ending, the story would just go on and on, though it wasn't till very late that he had noticed.

How late was it? To the point of nearly getting burnt on the arse if no ending were made, of course. [[Is that phrase still consistent with Kyonko?]]

Anyway, there won't be any closure if the story is allowed to run astray like this. So all the broken scenes of each character doing god-knows-what have been forcefully joined together and were rushed along as we approach the end.

Finally, we decided to have Yuuki remember the reason he came here in the first place and have him declare a final battle with Mitsuru.

One morning, Mitsuru found a letter inside his shoe locker. Inside was a small note, with words written as though they were printed from a printer that read, "Let's put an end to this."

You know, if Yuuki really wanted to annihilate Mitsuru, he didn't have to go through the trouble of notifying him beforehand. He could have done so in all the previous battles. Come to think of it, Yuuki would sometimes be an expressionless high school student who would stand aside and do nothing, and other times he would be an enigmatic alien who would do battle with Mitsuru. Just what does he want to be?

Mitsuru's thoughts were just as enigmatic. After reading the note, Mitsuru looked determined as though he was preparing to do something while clutching the note. He looked far off into the distance and nodded his head vigorously. Just what on earth has he realized? I've probably said this many times already, but I just can't understand at all. The only person who could understand would be the one who has never even shown himself in front of the camera.

As a camerawoman, I may not be able to understand, but I do know that, thankfully, everything in this world that has a beginning must have an end, providing salvation for one stuck in a seemingly never-ending infernal hell.

And finally, we have come to the climax of the story.

Making his cameo once again, "Tsuruya-san" now came forward and asked Mitsuru, who was looking troubled:

"What's wrong, Mitsuru? You look as though you got groped by an old woman at your job. Or did your doctor say you've got athlete's foot?"

Standing by the corner of the classroom, Mitsuru replied,

"The time has finally arrived. I must go and fight my final battle."

"Sounds great, Mitsuru. We're counting on you! The fate of the Earth rests upon your shoulders!"

After valiantly making it through his lines, Tsuruya-sempai twitched his face, and finally laughed out loud, not being able to hold on any longer.

"......I'll do my best,"

Mitsuru said softly at a volume that could barely be picked up by the microphone.

It's probably futile trying to question the deep flaws of this story. Just how did Mitsuru and Tsuruya-sempai know each other? When Tsuruya-sempai first appeared as a mind-controlled zombie in the pond scene, it seems that they already knew each other then. If that's the case, then Yuuki's mind control attacks ought to take place afterwards. This would make that battle scene more intense as the audience would realize that Mitsuru and Tsuruya-sempai are supposed to be friends. I dare say that this mix up in the order of scenarios is all due to the director's negligence.

Of course, the annoying [walking] deus ex machina was adamant that he knew what he was doing, and ignored all these accusations, while pouring all his [manly] passion [[though I donít think she would say this]] into shooting whatever came into his mind. As a result, he has slaved ordinary people like me to exhaustion already.

The Final Battle. I'm not entirely happy with how Mitsuru comes off here.

Spoiler for Part 8/8:

It was decided that the final battle would take place at the roof of the school.

Yuuki waited on the roof during lunch time, dressed in his black magician cloak with Shamisen clinging to his shoulder.

A few seconds later, the door to the roof opened and Mitsuru, in his battle waiter costume, now entered.

"D, did you wait long?"

"Very long."

Yuuki answered frankly. In fact, Mitsuru had gone to the bathroom to change into his costume, which was why he took so long. As camerawoman, I too had waited for quite some time.

"Then......"

The ever frank Yuuki now recited the long-prepared dialogue,

"This time, we will put an end to all of this. We do not have much time. This must end in the next few minutes at the latest."

"I feel the same way too...... But! Itsuko-chan will definitely choose me! Um...... This may sound embarrassing, but that's what I firmly believe!"

"Unfortunately, I do not intend to respect her wishes. I need her powers; that is why I must have her. Even if it means conquering the whole Earth."

Well you could always conquer the planet first then kidnap Itsuko along the way. Because by then no one would be able to resist you, and Mitsuru will be isolated as most people would have followed the majority and would gladly hand Itsuko over to you. Even a cute battle waiter would have a hard time trying to overturn this overwhelming majority. [Although, wait, didnít you earlier say that you needed Itsukoís powers in order to conquer the Earth? I could waste more time by questioning this seeming inconsistency, but Iíll just add it to the pile on the Ultimate Directorís desk.]

So, [(sigh)] supposing you have the ability to conquer the Earth, what's so difficult about capturing Itsuko?

"You won't have your way! That's the reason I arrived from the future!"

Ah, yes, of course. I nearly forgot that Mitsuru is a battle waiter from the future. But the movie's almost finished now, I simply don't know why the screenwriter wanted to include this time traveling plot device when it's hardly ever used.

The laser battles between Yuuki and Mitsuru now commence once again.

Mitsuru went "Hiyaaa!" and "Take this!" while shooting lasers, beams, missiles and mini black holes from his eye. On the other hand, Yuuki simply remained silent and waved his wand.

We must create an atmosphere which can't be done with computer effects alone! Under this command, firecrackers were used extravagantly on the roof. Even though these were all abandoned firecrackers obtained from the toy store storage, they would still make loud noises when ignited. As a result, a few teachers came rushing up from downstairs and gave us a good scolding.

Getting scolded by the teachers is inevitable when you play with fireworks in school.

Should my disciplinary record be given negative points as a result, please have them transferred over to the director, thank you. Even if he were to pool all the negative records of Asahina-sempai, Nagato-san and Itsuko, he would still be able to get himself off the hook thanks to his excellent academic record. If that guy could find it within himself to sit down quietly, no one would find any fault in him.

Ignoring the camerawoman's narrative, the battle rages on.

This is all credit to our director who, undaunted by the teachers' demands to leave the school roof at once, even warned them that if they were to stop us from shooting this important scene, he would threaten to sue the school for attempting to stifle the students' freedom of expression.

Now that would be pretty scary if that were to happen.

I don't care. Just don't play with fire! - The teachers hesitantly left the roof with this parting shot. The roof was now packed with curious onlookers who were increasing in numbers, causing Mitsuru to become even more embarrassed.

Under intense pressure, Mitsuru was now in a desperate situation. All his attacks on Yuuki had been futile, and with Yuuki slowly moving closer, Mitsuru could only back up and was now forced to the fence by the edge of the roof.

"Now die in peace! I will select a nice tombstone for you. Try to perform many good deeds in the afterlife so that you can enjoy your karma when you reincarnate."

Yuuki waved his wand as he bid his farewell to Mitsuru,

"Goodbye."

In an instant, the wand known as the "Star Ring something" gave an unusual glow, and the inexpensive flashlight flickered a few times.

"Kyaa~~!"

Mitsuru held his head and wrapped himself into a bundle. [[Shinji powers activate!!]]

Though it's hard to comprehend what kind of attack that was, we just know that it's a very powerful one. Watching the screen alone, one can see many lasers being fired from the wand; it must be some terrifying magical spell capable of disintegrating Mitsuru to the molecular level.

You have to hang in there. If we don't arrange for a climax here, there won't be another chance.

"Waaa! Aaa~~!"

Yet all Mitsuru could do was scream in agony.

Normally, one would be feeling annoyed already by the uselessness of the male protagonist, but since he is just too cute, one is ready to tolerate that. [[Really?]]

However, even if someone were willing to tolerate him, at this rate Mitsuru would be defeated. Under the mainstream concept of good triumphing over evil, the ending of this movie would provide a thinly-veiled satire on how those in power would always win in reality.

"......!"

Obviously the movie was not going to end like that. Standing in the side of justice, our last-minute heroine [[who? Is this referring to someone (Itsuko) specifically?]] is not going to just disappear like that when the story is approaching its end. An invisible hand would always arrive coincidentally, which is just plain impossible in real life, to repel evil and rescue the Ö damsel Ö in distress. Yet that was the scenario thought up by our director.
[[By this time, Kyonko is sounding very tired of the movie, so turning a little snarky by calling Mitsuru a damsel actually might fit. I added the ellipses to help convey this.]]

The person who came in to rescue Mitsuru was of course Koizumi Itsuko. I mean, who else can it be? Without any subplots, there was simply no room to introduce new characters anyway.

In the nick of time, Itsuko grabbed Mitsuru and successfully dodged Yuuki's attack. Yuuki's magic beams seem to be coordinating with the stunt as they were slowed down as well.

Seeing Itsuko standing with her legs planted firmly in front of a worn-out Mitsuru, determined to protect the pretty guy at any cost, Yuuki showed signs of contemplation as he looked at the cat on his shoulder. He's probably thinking if he can't get Itsuko on his side, should he kill her along with Mitsuru as well?

Yet, it was an unexpected character who answered that question for him:

"What's there to think about? All you need to do is steal that young woman's conscience. I hear that you have the ability to mind control other people. So just mind control her and then lure her to somewhere safe. Then you can easily eliminate this boy who dares stand against you."

The one speaking was Shamisen, so you could guess how horrified I was. I specifically told her many times not to talk, and she just wouldn't shut up. She can forget about her meal tonight.

"Understood."

The ever composed Yuuki lightly tapped his star-shaped wand on Shamisen's head, and the cat quickly shut her mouth.

Yuuki then spoke as though talking to himself,

"That was ventriloquism."

After announcing that as a matter-of-fact, he raised his Star-whatever god-damned wand and said, [[Yes, thatís from the original.]]

"Then bring it on, Koizumi Itsuko. I will make you into my puppet."

After some cheap sound effects, a flash of lightning emitted from the star-shaped tip of the wand.

Needless for me to say, one can pretty much guess how things are going to develop, so I'll just make a brief description of what follows.

To make things simple, Itsuko's hidden power has now been released to its maximum potential. Not even aware of it herself, Itsuko, being forced into a hopeless situation, now finds her secret power being awakened and has become a full-fledged esper. This esper power is so great that it can't be controlled, not even by Itsuko herself. Using this mysterious power, which is probably caused by emotional turmoil, she managed to reflect Yuukiís entire offensive and attacked the black-cloaked alien with all her might.

"......How unfortunate."

"Meow~."

Leaving these two lines, the enigmatic partners Yuuki and Shamisen were blasted off into the far end of the universe, making an unimpressive yell of defeat.

After sending off Yuuki and Shamisen, Itsuko turned around and said softly to the male lead,

"It's all over now, Mitsuru-kun,"

Mitsuru lifted his terrified little face and looked at Itsuko with what seemed like glowing eyes. [[Shinji powers, deactivate!!]] [[I have the most issues with this scene.]]

Itsuko stretched her arm to pull Mitsuru up to his feet, then placed her hands on the balcony rail as she looked up to the skies. Following her gaze, Mitsuru also looked upwards; the camera also did the same and turned towards the clear blue skies.

It's obvious this pan-up technique was used because no one knew how to connect the scenes properly.

Under the cherry-blossom filled streets on a cool autumn day, Mitsuru and Itsuko walked side by side with each other. How infuriating to see that the waiter costume actually matches well with the school's sailor uniform. [How apt to see that the waiter costume clashes horribly with the school's sailor uniform.][[It might be the opposite of the original, but itís still funny.]]

Coincidentally, a strong gust of wind came whooshing in, blowing the scattered cherry blossom petals into little spirals. For the whole movie, only this scene was genuinely natural.

Carrying a smile, Mitsuru took down the petals which had fallen onto Itsuko's silky hair. Looking embarrassed, Itsukoís cheeks now reddened, and she slowly closed her eyes. [[I switched their roles for this.]]

The camera focus then suddenly moved away from the two of them and into the blue autumn skies above. Why are we doing a pan-up again?

The ending theme, which was randomly nicked from somewhere, now begins to play as the credits roll.

Last but not least, a post-filming narrative was added in the end. And so this SOS Brigade presentation, the story of "Asahina Mitsuru's Adventure Episode 00," now ends in a very confusing manner.

It was rare to have a movie that was messy from beginning to end. If this sort of mix-and-match thingy can be called a movie, then it would be too disrespectful to those who actually give their all to seriously produce movies. Yet for some reason, this horrid movie was actually quite popular. At first, this movie was supposed to be screened together with the other movies made by the Film Club, but in the end our movie had shoved aside all their productions and occupied the screening room's projector. I hear this was to give in to the growing audience demand for the movie, but this was mainly due to someone making a lot of noise in lobbying for it. Of course the fact that Asahina-sempai had a lot of admirers also helped.

I later heard that the poor girls at the Film Club were forced to screen their movies in broken segments whenever they had the opportunity.

As no fee was charged, we naturally did not make any money. Yet the movie's success prompted the producer-director to begin drafting plans for a sequel. He even made an edited version titled "Asahina Mitsuru's Adventure Director's Cut," which was burnt into DVD to be sold in the market. Both a teary-eyed Asahina-sempai and I are now in the process of convincing him to let go of that idea.

Though no matter what he decides to do, we'll always end up in a mess. Forget it, it's going to be some time before it becomes a mess, if the SOS Brigade still exists by then.

......It'll still exist, right?

I guess I have to ask a time traveler that question then. I just hope the information's not classified - I quietly tell myself.

(Asahina Mitsuru's Adventure Episode 00 End)

At this point, I think I should hand this over to the Official Writers. It's been fun writing this, and after I give myself a break, I might continue with Vol 2.

And why must we try to turn the entire universe the other gender...? Especially the mansion folks?!

Because once you start drawing a line separating who changes from who doesn't, you have to draw the entire line. Significantly simpler to just call it a blanket swap and then have the fun of determining how to get around the difficulties that brings up.

no...
the "anyone could've done it" isn't the real problem...
i mean in the original it was deduced that it was done by a MALE, but suspicion was always casted on Yutaka.

the problem here is how do we make it so that near the end, the suspicion would be casted on the people who forced open the door instead?

remember it was somehow deduced that Yutaka, thinking that he had stabbed his brother (which turned out to be only a flesh wound) ran away from the mansion. In the morning, Keichi woke up at the noise that the group made fearing for his life locked the door but at the same time the guys busted in and the door sank the knife in all the way. (of course, by this time kyon had busted that deduction, called the entire thing a fraud and exposed itsuki's game)

Besides... another "problem" is that most female killers prefer indirectly killing their victims (e.g. poison) rather than directly stabbing someone (of course, not counting the Yanderes)
but then again.. since i've mentioned "yandere" we could always make yutaka (female) look like a yandere...

It really shouldn't matter as long as the obvious suspect stays obvious (but impossible).

EDIT: So the book has to remain so that Yutaka doesn't really kill her sister(orwasitcousin?), but the knife getting knocked by the door into the victim's heart still doesn't have to sink all the way to the hilt.

Just because you knocked down a door and slammed a knife into a person's heart doesn't mean it HAS to be stuck in them all the way down to the hilt.

[-Imagines Yuki and Yuuki singing the Dango song then finishing off with the Hitode song-]

....Why am I nosebleeding so much right now?.....OH GOD. [-Dies by Moe-]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pas1990

I started backsearching after I posted it and saw it was a repost ;A;

And lol, he's not stealing images =3=;;

o 3o I watch him like a hawk, sorry buddy. I check my DA watch list immediate when when I come back home. PC's tied with PB for my favorite artist so yeah especially watching him. *A*

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kagedanji

That was also posted on here already, wonder if that guy's stealing images.

Naw.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Umeko

Wow, I didn't think I was gone for long enough for so many pages to be added to the thread!

Anyway, here's my fanfic:

Spoiler for Fanfic title: Cosmic Irony:

I'm not sure when the thought first crossed my mind. I feel like it must have been one of those times when Haruki deemed it necessary to throw me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and carry me to wherever his warpath lead next... but really, it could have been at any point when I felt humiliated and belittled by his actions. Which is dreadfully often, sadly.

So how would everything have turned out, I wonder, if things were reversed? What if I were the tall, strong male - one with common sense, mind you - and Haruki were the "weaker sex"?

It's hard to imagine Haruki as a girl. I wonder if she'd be any calmer? Any more reasonable? Proper girls aren't supposed to act so boldly! Haruki, however, has never been one to follow convention, and I suppose his female self would see no reason to, either. Terrifying.

Either way, surely I wouldn't let myself be pushed around by her. I'd be bigger and stronger, and no matter how ridiculous her powers, there's no way she'd be able to drag a physically fit (in no small part due to the steep climb to school) teenaged male across the school. No way.

Which means that I'd be free of Haruki's silly SOS Brigade. Glorious freedom!

Oh, if only.

Now, it's not healthy to let such ridiculous thoughts fester in one's mind, and with no slider to confide in (this does not, by any means, imply that I hope for Haruki to wrangle one up!), I brought the idea up to Nagato-kun. I expected him to immediately dismiss it without even glancing up from his book, so I was caught somewhat off-guard when he actually fixed his gaze on me and just stared for a good three-quarters of a minute. Just as I was about to call it off as a joke (because it was awfully hard not to squirm uncomfortably with him looking at me like that), he gave a short, brisk answer and turned back to his novel.

"It is possible."

I kind of thought I saw a weird kind of... twinkle in his eyes as he turned away, but I figure it must have been my imagination. I mean, the alien-created humanoid interface had never shown much of any motion before, so why would he at such a silly little suggestion...? Strange.

Well, maybe such a universe does exist somewhere. I can honestly say that, after all I've been through, I wouldn't be surprised. So, to my counterpart with the Y-chromosome who may or may not exist somewhere out there, I offer to you the following message:

I wish you all the best, and I hope that at least you are free of that ridiculous nickname.

My friend dared me to upload that to fanfiction.net last night, just to see what kind of reactions it would get from the folk who hang around there. Sure enough, my first review was some crap about sexual predation. Weird.

Annnnnd the Kyonko sketch, along with a quick coloring job (which I don't like nearly as much).

Spoiler for Kyonko~:

Didn't feel like drawing her legs. :B

I'm flattered! But sadly, I tend not to have the attention span to draw even 4-komas. I draw one panel, then get bored and go off to do something else... and nothing ever gets done. XD

Well, hope you like! :3

I got a Jolly out of the fanfiction.

When I got to the twinkle part with Nagato, the image of Tamaki from BB just shot me in the head, I recall when she was watching braver, Oh the twinkles. OH THE MOEEE~~ [I took 14 screenshots of her]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kagedanji

And why must we try to turn the entire universe the other gender...? Especially the mansion folks?!

The Genderbending of Haruhi Suzumiya "What if you saw your favorite main characters swap genders?"

This isn't The Genderbending of Japan: The anime based on Haruhi Suzumiya, and none of these people in the mainsion are liked, or main!

BECAUSE WE'RE DIFFICULT! and because the main characters are the SOS Brigade, things would seem so unnatural! Tsuruya [girl] letting Mitsuru [boy] stay. Besides aren't you the CRACK Dango? You should approve that every character is genderbended? I mean if I was high I'd be like "Dude what if all the SOS brigade were like...the opposite gender? Oh dude wait, What if ALL the Haruhi characters were the opposite gender? OH SHNAPZ THAT'D BE FRIGGIN HARDCORE! Woaahhhh my hands are shinyyy lol lol lol usinz mah chat speakz, IT'S OVER NINE-THOUUSAAAANNDDDDD!"

I did too until I read under "something something TsuruyaXKunikida?" and was like "OH!"

This makes me think of that Kyon card [and next to that the FMP guy] where his shirt is open, and yeah that was pretty hot? >_>

Or maybe...Spiky hair? eh I have nothing.

No that's his signature.

[-Imagines Yuki and Yuuki singing the Dango song then finishing off with the Hitode song-]

....Why am I nosebleeding so much right now?.....OH GOD. [-Dies by Moe-]

o 3o I watch him like a hawk, sorry buddy. I check my DA watch list immediate when when I come back home. PC's tied with PB for my favorite artist so yeah especially watching him. *A*

Naw.

I got a Jolly out of the fanfiction.

When I got to the twinkle part with Nagato, the image of Tamaki from BB just shot me in the head, I recall when she was watching braver, Oh the twinkles. OH THE MOEEE~~ [I took 14 screenshots of her]

BECAUSE WE'RE DIFFICULT! and because the main characters are the SOS Brigade, things would seem so unnatural! Tsuruya [girl] letting Mitsuru [boy] stay. Besides aren't you the CRACK Dango? You should approve that every character is genderbended? I mean if I was high I'd be like "Dude what if all the SOS brigade were like...the opposite gender? Oh dude wait, What if ALL the Haruhi characters were the opposite gender? OH SHNAPZ THAT'D BE FRIGGIN HARDCORE! Woaahhhh my hands are shinyyy lol lol lol usinz mah chat speakz, IT'S OVER NINE-THOUUSAAAANNDDDDD!"

I did too until I read under "something something TsuruyaXKunikida?" and was like "OH!"

This makes me think of that Kyon card [and next to that the FMP guy] where his shirt is open, and yeah that was pretty hot? >_>

Or maybe...Spiky hair? eh I have nothing.

No that's his signature.

[-Imagines Yuki and Yuuki singing the Dango song then finishing off with the Hitode song-]

....Why am I nosebleeding so much right now?.....OH GOD. [-Dies by Moe-]

o 3o I watch him like a hawk, sorry buddy. I check my DA watch list immediate when when I come back home. PC's tied with PB for my favorite artist so yeah especially watching him. *A*

Naw.

I got a Jolly out of the fanfiction.

When I got to the twinkle part with Nagato, the image of Tamaki from BB just shot me in the head, I recall when she was watching braver, Oh the twinkles. OH THE MOEEE~~ [I took 14 screenshots of her]

BECAUSE WE'RE DIFFICULT! and because the main characters are the SOS Brigade, things would seem so unnatural! Tsuruya [girl] letting Mitsuru [boy] stay. Besides aren't you the CRACK Dango? You should approve that every character is genderbended? I mean if I was high I'd be like "Dude what if all the SOS brigade were like...the opposite gender? Oh dude wait, What if ALL the Haruhi characters were the opposite gender? OH SHNAPZ THAT'D BE FRIGGIN HARDCORE! Woaahhhh my hands are shinyyy lol lol lol usinz mah chat speakz, IT'S OVER NINE-THOUUSAAAANNDDDDD!"

erm, but yeah.

I think you've been infected by the crack dango now. Its like an epidemic.

And why must we try to turn the entire universe the other gender...? Especially the mansion folks?!

The Genderbending of Haruhi Suzumiya "What if you saw your favorite main characters swap genders?"

This isn't The Genderbending of Japan: The anime based on Haruhi Suzumiya, and none of these people in the mainsion are liked, or main!

We aren't genderbending all of Japan; merely the residents seen in the Suzumiya Haruhi series. I highly doubt that we'll go so far as to make the Diet primarily composed of females, after all. If a character appears in the series, then that character is important enough to genderbend.

I thought one of you classified him with the rank of "Boy Toy" rather than Crack Dango.

As for the murder, shouldn't it be more devious type of murder? Something a guy wouldn't normally think about, but the girls would know and be able to exploit? I don't know what it should be, but Agatha Christie might be a good source.

I will find it funny if Haruhi and company somehow get involved with the Emperor of Japan and thus force us to make Japan have an Empress inthe present day.