Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Courageous Conversations

It started with a
simple request. Could I come in and help your
district support your LGBTQ students even more than the district is already
doing?But, Dr. Linda Wagner, at that
time the Monrovia Superintendent, and currently the Anaheim City School
District Superintendent, had bigger visions.Why not help multiple districts support their LGBTQ students to feel
safer and more accepted?And so on
October 16th, in Alhambra, California, 72 participants, representing
22 school districts met to listen, dialogue and gain resources to make their
districts even safer for LGBTQ students.In attendance were seven superintendents, seven assistant
superintendents, and multiple leaders from as far away as Bakersfield,
Lancaster, Irvine and Manhattan Beach.

Dr. John Deasy, Superintendent
for Los Angeles Unified School District, one of the largest districts in the
nation, provided the keynote address. “It is not about tolerance. It is about acceptance. We have to give a voice to those who don’t
have a voice yet. Remaining silent is abandoning
our role of being there for the students.”
Dr. Deasy passionately expressed that educational leaders need to
visibly set the bar of acceptance for all who walk onto their campuses. As he
spoke from his heart, the audience was drawn in. A sense of calm and ease began
to flow into the day. Participants
recognized we are all on this journey
together, we have made mistakes, we doing the best we can with the knowledge we
have and we are all here to do our jobs better by gaining more knowledge.

Two presentations followed
Dr.Deasy’s opening comments. One
presentation from two LAUSD experts, Dr. Judy Chiasson and Stephen Jimenez-Robb,
focused on balancing California laws with finding the heart to do the right
thing. They used several examples where
LAUSD made decisions of the heart, even when the laws did not require their
action. In addition, the Gay, Lesbian, Straight
Education Network (GLSEN) represented by Dr. Robert McGarry, as Senior
Director, provided the participants with a wealth of information and Safe Space
Kits to begin introducing both elementary and secondary schools to valuable
suggestions on making their schools more welcoming.

To respond to questions that
participants may have had following the presentations, a panel presentation
with Dr. Chiasson, Dr. McGarry, and Stephen Jimenez was provided, adding Ariel
Bustamante from the Gay Straight Alliance Network (GSA). There were questions
about accommodations for transgender students, inquiries about LAUSD’s new
campaign where straight allies identify themselves as safe places for LGBTQ
students to turn to for support by wearing rainbow badges, and specific
questions regarding struggles within districts.

The day closed with my son Aiden
and I sharing our story. I spoke about
the fear and struggles of a mother and made the analogy that districts are like
families. Families love their children
and districts care about their students.
We are all learning and growing.
I shared districts could never make as many mistakes as I made . . . and
yet here I am with my son and we are closer than ever, because in the end the
love and care were things that mattered most.
Aiden shared his experiences and the changes he has seen in the past few
years at the school he attended. In our
evaluations, one participant called my son, courageous. I couldn’t agree more with that assessment of
Aiden, but of course, I am his mother.

Besides the presentations,
multiple resources around the room were available. Visibly present were
resources from PFLAG, a national organization that supports LGBTQ individuals
and their families. I currently sit on
the PFLAG National Board and Aiden sits on the PFLAG National Transgender
Advisory Council. Five local chapters of
PFLAG sent representatives, as well as resources.

Also in attendance was a newly
formed coalition made up of various PFLAG chapters, GSA Network and other
supportive individuals and organizations.
The Southern California Safe Schools Coalition was present not only to
support this event, but to be a future resource for the school districts who
might want specific knowledge or trainings.

As participants walked out of the
room, an air of hope and possibilities followed them. I believe that our LGBTQ
students will be a little safer when they walk onto the campuses of the 22 districts
that attended. And although it is just a
beginning . . . . that is where all of us had to start.

Marsha
Aizumi is an educational speaker and author of Two Spirits, One Heart. Visit
Marsha at www.marshaaizumi.com

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I am a wife and a mother of two sons, Aiden and Stefen. By day I am an educational consultant and advocate for the LGBT community. My other passion is to share stories about healing and hope through my writing and speaking.