Wednesday, 31 January 2018

31st January 2018 - January comes Swiftly to an end

Thought for the day:""Oops! There goes my hat!" said Tom off the top of his head."

And so a month goes by...
The Gas board are still outside - 2 vans and a digger this morning and the traffic lights outside the house.
A reasonably bright day - though still cold but dry.
And 31 days of Tom Swifty are completed...
Wiki tells me :

The name comes from the Tom Swift series of books (1910–present), similar in many ways to the better-known Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew series, and, like them, produced by the Stratemeyer Syndicate. In this series, the young scientist hero underwent adventures involving rocket ships, ray-guns and other things he had invented.

A stylistic idiosyncrasy of at least some books in this series was that the author, "Victor Appleton," went to great trouble to avoid repetition of the unadorned word "said"; elegant variation used a different quotative verb, or modifying adverbial words or phrases. Since many adverbs end in "ly" this kind of pun was originally called a Tom Swiftly, the archetypal example being "'We must hurry,' said Tom Swiftly." At some point, this kind of humor was called a Tom Swifty, and that name is now more prevalent.

"Oh, I'm not a professor," he said quickly. "I'm a professional balloonist, parachute jumper. Give exhibitions at county fairs. Leap for life, and all that sort of thing. I guess you mean my friend. He's smart enough for a professor. Invented a lot of things. How much is the damage?"

"No professor?" cried Miss Perkman indignantly. "Why I understood from Miss Nestor that she called some one professor."

"I believe he has a degree, but he never uses it," was the lad's answer.

"Ha! Then I have been deceived! There is no professor present!" and the old maid drew herself up as though desirous of punishing some one. "Young ladies, for the last time, I order you to your rooms," and, with a dramatic gesture she pointed to the scuttle through which the procession had come.

"Say something, Tom — I mean Mr. Swift," appealed Mary Nestor, in a whisper, to our hero. "Can't you give some sort of a lecture? The girls are just crazy to hear about the airship, and this ogress won't let us. Say something!"

"I — I don't know what to say," stammered Tom.

The Tom Swifty, then, is a parody of this style with the incorporation of a pun.

So 31 days of Tom Swifty's comes to an end - but there are many more out there ...

"I'm wearing a ribbon round my arm," said Tom with abandon. "I'm concerned about the number of people not attending," said Tom absentmindedly. "I like modern painting," said Tom abstractly. "Now I have the tools to chop down that tree," said Tom with a heavy accent. "This salad dressing has too much vinegar," said Tom acidly. "There's room for one more," Tom admitted. "Here's your allowance for the next two weeks," Tom advanced. "I'd like to eat seventeen cakes," Tom agreed. "I'm halfway up a mountain," Tom alleged. "There's no need for silence," Tom allowed. "There seems to be at least one blood-sucking insect in every outhouse," said Tom aloofly. "It's a unit of electric current," said Tom amply. "These propulsion systems were used by NASA on moon rockets," said Tom apologetically. "I compliment the company that makes the Macintosh computer," said Tom applauding. "We can't have this and eat it too," said Tom archaically. "It's an actual parameter, not a formal parameter," was Tom's argument. "You have the right to remain silent," said Tom arrestingly. "Someday I'll run the CIA," said Tom aspiringly. "I've mailed the letter," Tom assented. "I decided which car to purchase after looking at the pictures," said Tom autobiographically.

"I need a pencil sharpener," said Tom bluntly.

"I can no longer hear anything," said Tom deftly.

"This must be an aerobics class," Tom worked out.

"It's not fair!" said Tom darkly.

"This boat is leaking," said Tom balefully. "Give me a haircut," Tom said barbarously. "I've been listening to the Brandenburg Concertos," Tom barked. "This is the most common language used on micros," said Tom basically. "I'm losing my hair," Tom bawled. "Ouch! When I get stung, I want revenge," said Tom begrudgingly. "I'm sure we can fool them into thinking this is pollen," said Tom beguilingly. "I wonder why the hive's still empty," said Tom belatedly. "I have to keep this fire alight," Tom bellowed. "Why shouldn't I stir my coffee with a ballpoint pen?" Tom bickered. "These bit patterns will be more readable in groups of 8," said Tom bitingly. "I've only enough carpet for the hall and landing," said Tom with a blank stare. "..." said Tom blankly. "I need a pencil sharpener," said Tom bluntly. "This wind is awful," blustered Tom. "I think I'll use a different font," said Tom boldly. "Are you all governors?" Tom asked, bored. "I still haven't struck oil," said Tom boringly. "This is mutiny!" said Tom bountifully. "I presented my case to the judge," Tom said briefly. "This blood-sucking insect likes French cheese," said Tom briefly. "Use your own toothbrush!" Tom bristled.

"Rowing hurts my hands," said Tom callously. "I have been reading Voltaire," Tom admitted candidly. "I've been to a film festival in Southern France," said Tom cannily. "I can't be bothered," said Tom carelessly. "I don't work here on a regular basis," said Tom casually. "Would you like some soda?" asked Tom caustically. "That's price-fixing!" said Tom caustically. "Have you seen my collection of ancient Chinese artifacts?" asked Tom charmingly. "It's twelve noon," Tom chimed in. "I've got to stop this motor," Tom choked. "Another plate of seafood for me!" Tom clamored. "We're off to Scotland," said Tom clandestinely. "Pretend we were in the days before railways," Tom coached. "Okay, you can switch on the electric chair now," said Tom conceitedly. "Don't add too much water," said Tom with great concentration. "The prisoner escaped down a rope," said Tom condescendingly. "The prisoners set up a company," the warden confirmed. "All right, I will allow the prisoners to wear perfume," the warden consented. "I wonder if there's a number between seven and nine," said Tom considerately. "Now, how can I trick Sidney?" Tom considered. "I have a delivery of shoes for the prisoners," said Tom consolingly. "Hey, what's it worth if I help you escape from prison?" asked Tom contemptuously. "The escaped prisoner is camping out in the woods," said Tom contentedly. "I'm mentioned in this book," said Tom contentedly. "Europe needs more self-restraint," said Tom continently. "I have writer's block," said Tom contritely. "I find you guilty," said the judge with conviction. "I'd like to be a Chinese labourer," said Tom coolly. "Those cobs are amazing!" said Tom cornily. "My friend and I steal things together," Tom corroborated. "I manufacture tabletops for shops," said Tom counterproductively. "Why is this telephone flex always tangled?" asked Tom coyly. "How do you start a model-T Ford without a battery?" asked Tom crankily. "I admire East End gangsters," said Tom crazily. "I dropped the toothpaste," said Tom, crestfallen. "I've struck oil!" said Tom crudely. "The situation is grave," Tom said cryptically. "Who discovered radium?" asked Tom curiously. "I wonder where the next character is going to appear," said Tom with a cursory glance. "I'm the butcher's assistant," said Tom cuttingly.

"It's not fair!" said Tom darkly. "I can see the Greek woodland deity is no more," Tom said with a deadpan expression. "I wonder if I'd have better luck if I fished with a net," Tom debated. "I won't play for this team any longer," Tom decided. "I am removing the lining of my gloves," Tom deferred. "I can no longer hear anything," said Tom deftly. "I didn't do well in the test," Tom said degradedly. "I have a BA in social work," said Tom with a degree of concern. "There must be a power cut," said Tom delightedly. "I will now demonstrate how to dissect a sheep," delivered Tom. "The censors took all the dirty bits out of my show," said Tom deludedly. "Don't let me drown in Egypt!" pleaded Tom, deep in denial. "Let me improvise this part," said Tom descriptively. "Congratulations; you graduated," said Tom diplomatically. "I was removed from office," said Tom disappointedly. "That certainly took the wind out of my sails!" said Tom disgustedly. "I have to wear this cast for another six weeks," said Tom disjointedly. "Dat's de end of April," said Tom in dismay. "Whenever I put on my scuba gear, I get pins and needles," said Tom divertingly. "I'm on social security," said Tom dolefully. "It's made the grass wet," said Tom after due consideration. "Aha! Here's someone who can't speak!" exclaimed Tom dumbfoundedly. "Now I can do some painting," said Tom easily. "The radio reception is much better now," said Tom ecstatically. "I'm shocked," said Tom electrically. "Emily has put on weight," said Tom emphatically. "I got in through the window after opening it with a crowbar," said Tom enterprisingly. "I just came in through the door," said Tom, entranced. "I'm going after that red fish," said Tom erringly. "I have no underwear," Tom said expansively. "I used to be a paratrooper," Tom explained. "Elvis is dead," said Tom expressly. "I used to command a battalion of German ants," said Tom exuberantly.

About Me

From the frozen wastes of Northern Norsca, Vollsanger was a Skald of the old tradition - a Bard who was well schooled in the ancient songs and epic tales.

Coming out of the Skadi Mountains one day - he found the Crimson Moon Tavern in a glade with many strange people who had travelled great distances to meet up. The War Host!

Selling a song for a copper - writing songs on demand and entertaining the peoples of the factions. Vollsanger faces new challenges... LARP Awards Bard of the Year 2018. LARP & Re-enactment Skald.Guest Bard at the Conquest of Mythodea in Germany