Welcome Gentle Readers

This blog tends to wander from its main purpose -- updates on my fiction. I do have updates and excerpts of my work. But I also write about my obsessions -- food, friends and pop culture and my weird life in Los Angeles. Enjoy!

Sunday, July 25, 2010

The date for chemo has been set. I talk about that below. First, I have updates on Craig's garden. The ladybugs have never returned. The skunk is still skulking about, but that hasn't mattered because none of his plants have born produce. I think it hasn't been consistently hot enough for the corn. I'm not sure what his tomato problem is though I suspect that because of his proximity to the beach, there hasn't been enough sunshine. The weather here has been really weird this summer. I wanted to ask him about other things in his life, but he started ranting about Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome [it's a long story that won't make any sense unless you were these for the event in question] and I couldn't talk for laughing.

Treatment Countdown

I've got a long list of things I need to cook and freeze in the next three weeks, because that is when I begin chemo. I've been a very good patient about not looking up the side effects online. I drive Jon crazy enough as it is. However, I have been officially told by the newly minted and cute as a button Oncology Resident last week that the fatigue will knock me on my butt. That, among other things that may happen, will make cooking a challenge. So, I'm going to stock up while I can as I did before the last surgery. I'm lucky enough to be friends on a few social networks with some of my favorite chefs. Thus, I'm working with a lot of solid advice on how to freeze some really tasty things. I'll be going to the LA Farmer's Market this week for a Year of Fun lunch with an old friend. That is a great place for meats and bones and just about anything for some serious cooking.

I was much relieved to have some time before the treatments begin. I had been concerned that they would start as early as this week, and I have a lot of stuff to do. [I'm also relieved that the push wasn't urgent. That means they were truthful that these treatments are just precautionary] Hopefully, I'll be busy enough to not dwell on the treatments. And no fussing at me. My plans do not include a lot in the way of running around the city. For most of my tasks, I'll be doing no more physically than my daily exercise allotments allow. I'm behaving myself, relatively speaking. Many of you know how much a notion like that rankles my sensibilities. The only exception may be some actor wrangling I'll be doing sometime next week. That's always a lot of excitement. And a bit of excitement now and then is good for you, right?

Joe and Simon and Rik and Vincent – Falling from Grace and Other Dark Matters

Warning: Spoiler alerts for some films and TV shows – not ours. Also, strongly held opinions and dissing on other films and some potty language

Jon and I were in a pitch meeting a few months ago ostensibly bickering with one of the key players [Please note, we don't generally argue with people who may give us money for films. This was an unusual situation] over what he called films with a puzzle. Jon and I considered his examples to be mindfucks, pardon my language. These are not the kind of films we like to watch and they are certainly not films I'm interested in making. The two he was most enamored with were Shutter Island and Old Boy. My apologies to those who enjoy that sort of thing, but I find such films highly annoying at best and infuriating at worst. In the case of the former, I never saw it, because I figured out the big secret before it was release. One of the trailers gave away too much. At any rate, it's not the big puzzle itself that bothers me. It's being put through an ordeal with a crappy pay off at the end.

Warning!!! Major Spoilers to all sorts of films!!!

I consider a payoff to be crappy not because it has an unhappy ending, but because it was an unfair ending for the lead character. If it is sufficiently established that a character is doomed from the start and it is clearly shown that there is no hope for the character to escape his or her fate, I can accept what happens – no matter how tragic. For example, James Cole in 12 Monkeys was an extremely dangerous convict. He begins the film as a condemned man. His death in the attempt at doing something noble and selfless is acceptible. It is a better death than he could have hoped for. Okay, you say, he was a literally condemned man. What about a guy who just gets crewed over by life? Can a tragedy that's fair happen to him? Yes, I give you Maximus in Gladiator. For being a loyal servant to the Emperor, his family is killed and he is condemned to die. There is even hope that he may win his freedom in the ring. But for Maximus, the only thing that would be fair is to have his revenge before he dies and joins his wife in paradise. Maximus never fears death. And after his family is destroyed, he embraces it. The only question for the audience is will he find justice and will Lucilla escape a very creepy fate with her crazy-assed brother, Commodus. I was even ready to accept John Anderton being 'boxed' in Minority Report. He was a doomed character whose life was in shreds because of inescapable grief. I was just as happy that wasn't the case.

Why do I bring this up? I've been having discussions with some readers about when it is okay to let a character's fall from grace become a complete tragedy. I've been causing some alarm amongst my readers with my interest in and admiration of the very dark themes in Kuroshitsuji (Black Butler) and Ai No Kasubi (The Space Between). I received a near panicked note (I mention with permission) when I wrote about being distracted by The Space Between. 'Do you KNOW what happens to those characters???' it read. The panic was particularly keen as I had just started A Soldier's Destiny. Well, of course, I know what happens to those two men, but I have no interest in following suit with my writing. In fact, I was so perplexed by the ending of that extraordinary series of novels that I'm negotiating an interview with the author to find out why it ended the way it did. I really need to know. But I'm not, as Jon is implying, obsessing about it. At any rate, I prefer to spin tales like some of Hayao Miyazaki's (keeping with the Japanese themes) where the leads are put through great trails and suffering but find a way to prevail. Howl's Moving Castle (Hauru no Ugoku Shiro) is a favorite example. The big tension in his work is How in the hairy heck will they get out of this one? The characters are often transformed at the end, but it is always fair and happy. And as Jon correctly points out, sometimes there are no trails at all. The characters just hang out and groove for a while.

I admit that I am messing with Rik and Vincent big time. They will be tested as individuals and as a couple as never before. And just when you thought you knew everything about them, more secrets are revealed. There are thrills and chills and laughter and tears and lots of white-hot passion between the guys, but I'm certain that no reader will be left with the compulsion to look me up from thousands of miles away to politely but firmly demand answers as to why I put them through THAT kind of hell with THAT kind of payoff???!!! Okay, I'm more than a bit obsessed with finding answers.

Now, about Demon Under Glass and the trails of Joe and Simon. Since the series has no five year episode plan, how Joe ultimately decides his fate or how is fate is decided for him is not relevant for for the web series or future books. And as for Molinar's appearance in A Soldier's Destiny which is set quite a bit into the future, the one thing he refuses to talk about is Joe McKay until Rik and his Foundation make certain guarantees. He implies that there is much to learn regarding the Doctor. I won't go further because of spoilers. Thus, for now, we want the reader and the viewer to enjoy their adventures as they work their way through what we hope is a very long character arc where they are both pushed outside of their comfort zone. The leads are game for whatever we can throw at them. Garett Maggart has made some interesting suggestions of his own (some of those will be in the Demon Under Glass interview).

DraggonTV.com Countdown

And this brings me to The Countdown to the launch of DraggonTV.com a new website that will stream independent shorts and features from all genres. The goal is to give filmmakers a place to safely stream their works at full resolution and complete length in the hopes of attracting distribution. To showcase how the site will look, we're starting with Demon Under Glass and a comedy short, 15%. We'll also be running sample ads like the Demon series promo and a book trailer. If you know any authors looking for fresh, new ad space, let me know. We'll be running a buy one month get one free special. This will kick off the weekend of August 14, 2010.

I'll post a couple of photos from the upcoming photo shoot featuring the three Demon Under Glass lead characters (Joe, Simon and Ethan). I'll save most of them and the best of them for the DraggonTV.com's Demon Under Glass page.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Sorry, it's been a little nuts here today. Like the cheese for my papusa, some thoughts have been forgotten. In the case of A Soldier's Destiny, the possessiveness physically manifests itself by glaring at anyone giving a nano-second of extra attention to Rik or Vincent. When with each other, there is a lot of slamming against walls, the holding of wrists above the head, grasping of hair, divesting of clothes with enthusiasm. And this really has nothing to do with my distraction withAI NO KUSABI. I'll speak about that when I figure out how I fell about the whole thing. I've been writing this way for a very long time. See Novad.org, if you've forgotten.

I have no news about Craig's farmland adventures with the ladybugs, the skunk and his harvest of corn. I'm hoping for a report this coming week. However, I can report that a quick chat with my father, a veteran urban gardener, solved my problem with the root bound basil plant. A coffee can, of course. I'm such a silly billy over thinking the problem. Now, my plant is happy, and I've made my first batch of basil oil. I have, in fact, almost put my kitchen in order. There are vats of stock chilling and waiting to be reduced. I've made chive butter and a compound herb butter in addition to the basil oil. By the time this posts, I'll have my Hollandaise. I have asparagus to put it on among other things. The therapy has been very helpful, but I have to refrain from having the oven on along with steaming pots during a heatwave. We had on the air conditioner and it was still warm enough in here to melt the butter in the dish on the counter. It took hours for the stocks to get to room temperature last night and longer still for it to be cool enough for me to sleep. That was very silly on my part. But my freezer is nearly stocked again.

Year of Fun – Deb versus the Artichoke

In last year's widely acclaimed blog, Deb vs the Oyster, my readers learned that I finally ended a shameful chapter in my life as a sybarite by having a plate full of raw oysters. Opening them almost involved medical intervention, but overall, I really enjoyed them. I'm desirous of another one soon. At any rate, another shameful secret I held until today is that I've never had an artichoke. It just wasn't anything my family cooked. As an adult, I'd watch people so carefully eating the tender part of the leaves that I worried about what would happen if one was careless. The heart seemed to be a huge effort to find for a very little bit of veg. I wasn't sure it was worth the effort, frankly. And then that danged Gaida DiLaurentiis and David Rocco were making them look so tasty, especially fried in olive oil. Rocco in particular was so deft in the way he whittled down the veg to the heart, that I thought I would take up the challenge. Forty minutes later and only two of the four gigantic things have been whittled enough to fry. They don't look as pretty as they did on TV. In fact, I believe I could hear Giada and David screaming at me as a mutilated the poor things. You see, I was worried about getting too much choke or fibrous stem or leaves. The whole thing scares me, okay. But I did it. The photo indicates one of the whole beasties versus two quarters of a heart. Now, I just have to fry it then see if I'll ever go through that again. There will be a mini blog reporting on who all this worked out.

In other food news, I actually made a papusa! It's filtered into the mainstream enough that the Food Network website had three recipes and a video on how to make them. The dough wasn't very cooperative and I forgot to add the queso Cotija that I managed to find. But it was really yummy and I have plenty of ingredients to make many more. And they freeze! I've been obsessed with papusas since working a temp job years ago that had a lot of Salvadorans on the factory floor. I'd look for them on the menu at every food truck I'd run into here. Two years ago, there were two odd recipes online. Now, there are over a dozen not including the Food Network. It's just bliss to have them for a ready snack.

Possessing Possessives

Food was not the only thing occupying my time this week. There was much in the way of hospital related unpleasantness that I won't get into. The now Kafkaesque bureaucratic nightmare continues with great vigor. I may be forced to make some very difficult choices next week. But there is not much to be gained in talking about that now either.

What has occupied my mind this week have been the possessive nature of characters in both Demon Under Glass and in A Soldier's Destiny. One of the things we wanted to make clear in the promo recorded for Demon Under Glass is that Simon's interest in Joe is more than the business of bringing down the Delphi Project. While that is clear, whether or not the interest is mutual on Joe's part is another matter That has to unfold over time one way or the other. It is quite clear that Joe is well aware of Simon's inclinations toward him. He is also aware that Simon tends to be possessive often in the guise of being protective. The element we're working into the scripts is a very subtle interplay between the two men. Joe must make it clear that he will be allowed to think for himself and act on his own when necessary while not giving Simon any inkling that he is trying to pull away. Meanwhile, Simon must keep Joe close to him to protect him while they work toward their mutual goals and while he works toward his ultimate agenda. There must be a balance between keeping Joe firmly within his grasp but not clutching too tightly. Joe knows what Simon can do, so he is disinclined to frighten or overtly coerce him. It's all very subtle but we have to make sure the audience see this interplay and know what the stakes are. Now, there will be flare ups of rebellion on Joe's part and of determination on Simon's part. Sometimes, the possessiveness seeps through when they are in an extreme situations. But Simon must never lose control, or he risks an escalation which will not get him a willing companion. It will be a challenge born mostly by the actors.

On a less tantalizing note, We are scheduling a formal photos shoot for reference photos the promo requires and for advanced publicity. It should happen in two weeks.

Back to the matter at hand, possessiveness is a big theme in A Soldier's Destiny. As more and more demands are made on Rik and Vincent, they tighten their hold on each other. It is apparent to anyone with a brain that trying to pry them apart would not only be futile but dangerous. This is a mutually obsessive/possessive relationship that works for the pair. Is it healthy, probably not for normals, but it's what they require to function. It's also really hot with all that claiming and reclaiming and dominating and submitting going on everywhere. Of course there are those who chance to observe some of their behavior and misinterpret it. That is that either man is prone to submit to someone stronger or someone who has been given an edge. The mayhem that ensues from those assaults puts everything Rik and Vincent have worked for in extreme jeopardy. I'm having a lot of fun with this.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

RandomnessI started walking for exercise in earnest on Thursday. It's part of the getting as fit as possible before chemo. I usually need a destination, so I went to the library. On the way I nearly adopted six kittens. They were all so cute frolicking together in the pet store window. Then, I remembered that look Jon gives me when I say or do something really nuts. I did buy a basil plant having realized that I do have enough room on the one windowsill that gets light for a small, potted plant. But that cost less than two dollars (cheaper than the pre-packaged herbs they were selling at the same store) and didn't need a litter box, so I didn't think Jon would mind.

I suppose I really should find out why a dude in full SCUBA gear is at the bottom of the pool. But then, the explanation may give me a headache. And I have other fish to fry.

Taking Stock

Anthony Bourdain is yelling at me again. I've been reading his first memoir, Kitchen Confidential in anticipation of reading his second one, Medium Raw. Kitchen Confidential is a fascinating book for numerous reasons, but it also find time amidst tirades to give a lot of tips on how to cook really well. Bourdain has tersely reminded me that I am woefully lacking in a key ingredient for good cooking – stocks. My freezer is, indeed, bereft of stocks. I have about a quart of chicken stock from the whole birds I dismembered last week. That will be gone by tonight. I really miss the results I get cooking with it. Now that I'm able to make it once more, I'll have to make a lot this week. I may even make demi-glace of both chicken and beef. And no, I haven't made the Hollandaise or had that fool proof poached egg yet this week, but I have had some very fluffy scrambled eggs. I've been lining up the recipes I want to make prior to chemo so that we'll have meals ready to heat up if I'm not up to cooking. It's quite a list, but then, my freezer is almost empty. Meanwhile, Bourdain is currently yelling at me about the quality of my chef's knife and my sauté pans, but there isn't much I can do about that right now.

Cutting Comments

I have been editing the two promos that will be running with Demon Under Glasswhen it goes online next month. There are two reasons that I'm dong it. Jon is almost at the end of Blood Oath and I don't want to interrupt that again. It's been forever and a day since we shot it. Second, I've had a lot of trouble articulating exactly what I wanted to Jon. That's why I basically directed the recording. Thus, instead of leaning over his shoulder and trying to hear in his headphones, I'm having a whack at it myself. I've done a couple of book trailers and two teaser trailers, so I'm familiar with digital editing software. Jon uses something a lot more complex than Microsoft Movie Maker (which made me absolutely crazy), but it's actually easier to use. I managed to get 12 minutes worth of footage down to just about three minutes of takes that I want to use. My goal tonight is to get the two pieces down a rough cut so I can think about the images. These are voice over recordings not live action scenes, so this is far easier that it would typically be. Sorry, but I won't be putting up any more teases. There is too much I would be giving away. There will be lots of advanced warning debut date.

Demon vs Solders

The story I posted last week prompted a sudden rush of creativity. I had no sooner posted the story when I had a scene in my head for the next Soldier's book. I had been having trouble thinking through that part of the book. Suddenly, it was there. Here is the excerpt. No worries of spoilers, there is a lot of detail left out.

“I know why you sought the Foundation's help, Vampire,” Rik heard Ellie whisper. He had never heard her voice take such a vicious, urgent tone. “The world is now too small for you to be safe. Too many private, powerful entities know about Delphi's research, right?”

“Then know what I am here for and listen well,” Ellie hissed. “If they do not succeed, my husband will follow to get this information. I will not risk him or his family. The last time Rik and Vincent faced a situation like this, they were so badly burned, no one knew if they would recover. The best of Delphi research made them physically well, but it was months before they were as they had been. My husband suffered painfully every day that they were not whole. I will NOT let him suffer that way again. You will protect me, and I will use what the Foundation sent to protect them while they get our asses out of here.”

“The Foundation sent the where with all to escape?”

“No, Rik and Vincent are our escape,” Ellie said bluntly. “What I was sent with will give them the time they need to make sure we get out. To do what I need to do...”

“I must protect you,” Simon enjoined. “How is it that you can protect them? They are living weapons. They are...extraordinary – even by my definition – in what they can do.”

“The Foundation's existence is about protecting them,” Ellie replied in an amused voice. “A staggering amount of resources are devoted to Rik and Vincent's survival...and now yours.”

There was a brief silence. “It is as you say. Moreover, those in possession of Delphi's legacy have become aware of my existence. Their resources outpace even mine. There is no where left for me to hide save for with my kin. I need them and their Foundation. I will do what you need me to do.”

“Okay then. First, put this on.”

“I hardly think...”

“Are you bullet proof, Vampire?” Ellie snapped quietly. “Do you know what an bio-EM pulse will do to your body chemistry?”

“Er...no...”

“Put it on.”

Rik heard fabric rustling. He knew then that he could sleep. Ellie didn't need protection from Molinar. The Vampire understood that his safety was inextricably tied to theirs. Carefully, he pulled his exhausted lover against his body. Vincent had finally settled into sleep after hours of worry. What Brigadier General Zumwald and the evil Lieutenant Remak trained Ellie to use, he didn't know. But he was certain it would be enough for him and Vincent to act with enough force to get them safely away from their pursuers.

With that, I figured out the back end of the book I'm not fleshing it out in my head, but I'll likely start writing it very soon. This has been a huge relief as I hadn't really written any fiction since before the surgery. There is a lot that is still not right in my world, but it looks a heck of a lot better when I can create.

There will be a lot happening with photo shoots for the promo and development of the series in the next few weeks.

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

I used to be so much faster writing this sort of thing. Still, not bad from concept to execution. I may have finished Sunday, but for Jon commandeering my PC and while still using his. And then there are the sudden lapses into sleep I'm still prone to since the last surgery. I was writing away in the home stretch early in the evening Sunday when one hit. I woke up at 3am too fuzzy for a coherent thought. And I had to go to the hospital the next day for tests. but enough of that.

Some of the quotes are close paraphrases from the Twilight novels. I've never read them, but when I was a bookseller, I thumbed and skimmed anything that had a following so I could render good customer service. Thus, I was aware of the stories and the...interesting take on the lore and on dialogue. Joe and Simon had a blast butchering it.

I did the format to make sure my Maw-in-Law can read it if she is inclined. Here's the link:

Sunday, July 04, 2010

It's a good thing that I like eggs. I foresee many of them in my future. In the last couple of weeks, four of the cooking shows that I watch have featured egg dishes. In two of them, homemade English muffins were made. Until that point, I'd never really considered making my own. Jon, Lord of all things made of bread, caught one of the English muffin shows. He wants us to give it a try. As of this afternoon, I'll have seen three versions of 'foolproof' poached eggs. I'm still not sure about that. I've been a pretty big fool where poached eggs are concerned. We'll soon see. I've also been jonesing for Hollandaise sauce again. I'd forgotten until today that it can be spread on asparagus. That's healthy, right? In fact, I had been told to try to eat two of them a day to make sure I got some protein in my diet after the first surgery. I still can't quite manage that. But one poached egg and some Hollandaise could count as two eggs. That's how I'm counting it at any rate.

But eggs aren't Independence Day fare unless they are hard boiled and in potato salad. But I'm a bit potato saladed out – maybe. Potato salad tastes great with the barbecued chicken I'm planning for tomorrow. We'll probably have frites with the burgers today. And there will be apple pie. I realized today that since apples aren't in season, the all American apple pie is danged expensive for the 4th of July.

The new cooking channel and the use of my older cookbooks as set dressing has resulted in a whole lot of new cooking plans. I have a tendency to read and use a cookbook for a while and then shelf it indefinitely. This was especially true when I was less proficient as a cook. Pulling out those older, more difficult books was a revelation. I realized that I could handle a lot of those recipes with much more ease now. So, I started reading them again. I have to figure out which recipes fit into this season.

All of this cooking frenzy is, in part, to make up for lost time over the past several weeks. The Cooking Channel is another reason for the renewed enthusiasm for my favorite therapy. I've also had a pretty crappy week. The bureaucratic nightmares continue though I may have finally stumbled upon the right avenue out of the mess. It's now a matter of staying afloat while the problems are resolved. No, I don't need the extra stress, but that's what the cooking is for. I could also do with a chat with Craig. News of the garden wars always lightens my mood for a time.

Demon Doings

We're still on track with the development of the Demon Under Glass series. The online release of the film and the new trailers is set for August 1st. Worry not. There will be a loud countdown and perhaps a small party. The fans that have recently come into our midst have provided a lot of grist for the mill creatively. That and the writing of a writers' guide sparked some notions in my brain a couple of weeks ago. Just the other day, I started writing. This probably doesn't sound like that big a deal from a professed writer, but it was to me. I hadn't been writing anything other than this blog for quite a number of weeks. And while I get a great deal of satisfaction from writing the blog, not writing fiction was making me more than a little buggy. Everyone around me is far happier when I'm writing. This particular piece is prose, but it will be a script for the web series. T

hus I'm putting Simon and Joe into a situation that will let the actors have some fun with the characters. Along the way, it seems that the Twilight Saga was fairly well savaged. Simon really doesn't like that saga at all, and Joe is profoundly annoyed at being exposed to it. That aside, the story is a lot about how the pair are negotiating boundaries. I'm hoping that the reader/viewer will get the sense that something special was interrupted by some very creative Delphi related mayhem. Simon has not achieved any of his long term goals where Joe is concerned, but he has achieved a comfortable intimacy in a relatively short period of time. There are even moments where all that's happening is a brief dispute over how Joe does his laundry. The mayhem is merely a frame for their interactions though I'm having a lot of fun with it. I'll be posting the story online at this link: http://dragoncor.com/Demonsaga.htm later today

Mind, reading this will definitely spoil the episode(s) somewhat. There will be chan ged between this story and the script and between this story and what will go into the next collection. I wrote this on a tear in a very short period of time.

On Pole Dancing

I must admit that Jon and I have chanced to see the occasional pole dance. Well, we've seen enough to know the ones in California are largely lame. At any rate, we really appreciate the athleticism of this sort of...er...performance. But this past Tuesday, I came to have an even greater appreciation for it. We were shooting the second part of that fitness pilot for Dr, Paul Drew on Tuesday. Jon was shooting. I was mostly sitting and documenting. Part of the day w as spent at Isabella's Salsa Studio in downtown Santa Monica. We did various segments of fitness and posture. On a side note, I have lovely posture. That's not really a surprise. I'm a woman of a certain age who attended Catholic schools. It's part of the programming. Where was I? Yes, fitness. All of the segments are aimed at giving women the building blocks to become red carpet glamorous. And since exercising can get boring, there are a number of different types of fitness segments in the show. One is pole dancing for fitness. Isabelle led one of Dr. Paul's clients through a basic routine. Paulina is in fantastic shape but five minutes on the pole really did a number on her. At the end of the second take, I knew that there could be no more without her risking injury. Pulling one's entire body weight off the floor then contorting around the pole to end in a split is not anywhere near easy. Heck, just the walking around the thing and squatting and moving from weight on one leg to another while still keeping time to the music and looking sexy. Too much for me right now. Probably too much for me ever. I've yet to take on the Bollywood dance work out though I think that I will soon in my ramp up to chemo. Still, most of the crew, including Jon and me, found the pull of the pole irresistible. So, there we all were. And we were all sober! I'll get into detail about the nature of the show and the behind the scenes on the entire shoot when I have some clips to run – probably next month. But I must say that we really enjoyed working with that crew. It was the first time we've worked with Sunshine since Demon Under Glass. She was good then. She's phenomenal now. Somehow, she can take a bolt of cloth and a few twigs and make a gorgeous, warm room out of a blank warehouse space. We also had Cat Elrod from Blood Oath. She super professional but so much fun to have on a set. And she'll pitch in anywhere. We were very fortunate hat she was available. And then there was Dutch, the most gigantically tall sound man I've ever run across. Again, he was very professional and lots of fun to have on the set. He's super laid back – the kind of crew guy I really like to work around. It was such a nice mesh of folks that even the more stressful moments weren't that bad. Needless to say, I'm calling on them for the next shoot.

I'm off to finish that story and the apple pie and the barbecue chicken. You get the idea. I'll put up food pics later.