In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the People of the Book, who, in addition to controlling the media, now control the paint at MSG thanks to Amar'e Stoudemire's newfound faith.

We've long assumed his Twitter account (@amareisreal) was so named to assure fans as to its authenticity. But could it be that all along he just didn't know how to spell "Israel?" The Jews of New York must be psyched. (There are Jews in New York, right?)

You may have noticed there's not a ton of Jewish athletes, so we'll take what we can get. We've been claiming Rod Carew for decades, even though all he did was marry a nice Jewish girl. In the NBA, pickings are even slimmer (you can keep that little shit Farmar).

And besides, by moving from Arizona to New York, Stoudemire has reenacted a journey undertaken by many a Jew before him, only in reverse.

So welcome to the club, Amar'e. Your membership card will be coming in the mail, and the ZOG meetings are held the second Tuesday of the month. It'll be nice to see a circumcised cellphone dong photo for once.