Harry Styles Got Pantsed Onstage Last Night and More Video Evidence That He's the Most-Pranked Dude in One Direction

Because I like to imagine the boys of 1D have all the pun-fun they can with their name, I envision Harry Styles yelling at least once a week: "Why do all the pranks in this band seem to go in one direction?"

The group is known for boys-will-be-boys debauchery, but at this point—after yet another onstage Styles-assault!—I feel compelled to point out that it is not being evenly distributed. Plug in "harry styles gets" on YouTube and you will find a vast variety of unfortunate ends to that sentence. And it's not just his mischievous bandmates—oh, no. The adoring fans are somehow in on it too. Let's review the evidence.

Exhibit A: The wake-up call. Louis, Niall, and Liam demonstrate the worst way ever to rouse someone from sleep: live singing/bed jumping. Zayn, no doubt a fan of National Geographic, wisely feigns unconsciousness. But poor, sweet Harry actually embraces the abuse at the end.

Exhibit B: The shirts-ing. Getting your button-down shirt torn off your torso is the new getting stabbed in the back.

Exhibit D: The tampon story. A common girls-on-guys prank in my high school was to simply place a normal, wrapped tampon on the cafeteria seat of any boy, then watch him jump and back away so fast he typically dropped his tray. So to be hit in the face with a feminine item—I know what that can do to a man.

Exhibit E: Hit in the crotch by an unidentified flying object.

Exhibit F: Hit in the crotch again, by an identified flying object: a shoe.

Exhibit G: Hit in the crotch a third time, by his own bandmate/mate-mate! It's almost like someone's paying people do to this [sideways glance at Taylor Swift].

I rest my case. And now I'm off to FedEx Harry the gift of a gold-tipped cane to swat away ragamuffins.