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Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Things I don't understand #23...

...How it is that all women can dance. The thought struck me as I was watching a movie last night and a man --one who happened to be an international spy-- asked the woman he was trying to seduce to dance. Her reply was basically to ask him if he could dance. Well of course he could! He's a spy! But the exchange brought a couple of questions to mind. 1)Why is it assumed that men can't dance? (Yes, I know because we can't...at least try to play along) And 2)why is it assumed that all women can? (Yes, because they can...you're really starting to chaff me.) But really, the woman in question was a bit uptight and had the potential to be awkward and gangly. Yet, in the course of history has anyone ever thought to ask such a query of a woman? I doubt it. Now I'm sure this is probably some corollary to my declaration that women are "pretty and soft and smell good" but I'm having trouble fitting it in. Plus, I've witnessed numerous women in various attempts at athleticism and the results were...well let just say it didn't remind me of dancing. So where does this seemingly innate ability come from? Why do they want to do it so much? And why are men the exact opposite?

Now I'm not saying that I never dance, but it's not something I ever crave. And if there's not sort of woman angle it never crosses my mind. And when I do dance, it's somewhat of an iffy proposition. I'm a bit of a lumbering galoot, but luckily I have good feet for a big man. Nonetheless, I can't think of a single male friend who's would be called a good dancer. And most guys probably remember any good dancers they've come across (if I ever run into that Michael guy again I might have to sock for what he tried to pull with my girlfriend that one night). You might also be thinking that not all girls can dance...like the Seinfeld where Elaine embarrassed herself. But wasn't part of what made that funny the fact that it seemed so improbable? They might be out there, but it's just a blip on the screen. And really, I guess if one of us is going to get the talent to dance it's much better suited on the ladies.