OH SNAP — Mika, the bisexual pop singer, performs at the Mawazine International Music Festival in Morocco’s capital Rabat, which Islamist extremists are trying to exclude full-blown homosexual Elton John from. Mr. John says the show must go on.

Ah! I love Mika! To be fair, he should be able to identify however he likes, and I’ll believe him… but bi? Really Mika? Way to dip your toe in while all the other kids are jumping in and swimming. Seriously, though, I’d still jump on that even if he were gayer than two unicorns humpin on a rainbow.