Jess in the Pergola writing, enjoying some evening wine,
and on her phone, of course : )

While Jess was with us, healing for 4 months, she used to love to sit outside in the pergola by the pool. She would take her journal there and write in the evenings. She'd call friends and be on the phone. I could be in the kitchen cooking dinner or working in my studio (if I wasn't with her) and see her. And love her. She was right there, I was cooking, I knew how to love her.

After she died I'd look out the back door at the pergola and remember having her so near. Near enough to touch. To talk with. To cook for.

I'd put my forehead on the cold glass of the window in the back door and rest it there and sometimes tears would come and my heart would feel squeezed. Owie.

Then one day I realized, like a lightbulb going on in my head and heart - she is here, she is everywhere, she IS love, she is surrounded by love.

Arms Wide Open

And I turned away from the door and put my hand on my heart, feeling her love, and I walked across my kitchen with my arms wide open in the air, feeling her love beams coming down.

She has all of the things I apply to myself as I navigate life. She has Spirit Guides. She has a Higher Self. She has past lives. She has future lives. She has her "now." She is held in the dearest arms of love at all times. She's had a thousand children, and she'll have a thousand more, as she chooses. She's been married. She's been a conqueror. She's been a slave. She's been a savior. She's been winner and loser. She may be in her Celestial home with her love of all loves right now. She is a BIG spirit, ancient and rejuvenating, regenerating and coming back for more adventures here when she chooses to. She is wise. She is more, so much more than "just" my beautiful sweet Jess. She comes, she goes, she is eternal like all of us. And like all of us she IS, WAS, and ALWAYS WILL BE.

I count my relationship with her as sacred and wonderful. She owns her journey, and I am so honored to be a part of it.

I walked through the living room, through my house, with my arms wide open, so very appreciative of the home where she now lives, the home where we ALL go. The home we come from. Where else would anyone want to be after a job well done?

Wow. It was quite a revelation.

So sometimes when my little ego self looks out to the pergola and I think about putting my forehead against the door again, my spirit self reminds me to touch my heart and I spread my arms, and I feel filled up with love.

About Me

I've been captivated by ART since I was about 9 years old. Because my family lived overseas for the first ten years of my life and because we moved about every two years (Holland, Malaysia, Japan, Italy, England) I learned at an early age to keep myself occupied. The best ways to do this were to read, write, or draw.
While we were overseas I was lucky enough to be able to visit some of the finest museums in the world, and they felt like home to me with all the beautiful creations from the master spirits of this planet. These excursions left me hungry for more, so as I grew older, I continued to visit museums wherever I found myself (New York, California, Colorado, Arizona, Alaska, Chicago, Pennsylvania, etc.).
Now that my children are grown and out doing their thing in the world, I find I have more time to devote to my artwork, which is pure joy.
Thanks for checking in, stay in touch!