I always believed optimism was something only endlessly happy people had mastered; whereas, pessimism was the gift of the constantly miserable. After all, it’s easy to have a happy outlook on the future when you are already happy.

But what if your state of happiness and, in fact, the outcome of your life all depend on you? If your state of happiness is a direct result of your state of mind, then who’s to say we are not in control of how happy we choose to be on a daily basis?

It can be argued that if you think good things will happen, they will. But if you constantly expect the worst, that’s what you will get.

When we wake up in the morning, our attitude forms the catalyst for a sequence of events which determine the outcome of the rest of our day. Even the smallest shift in your emotions can be the difference between a good day and a bad one.

The problem is that, quite often, our emotions are ruled by the wrong things. Our minds become preoccupied by various issues, which seem like the center of our universe at the time, but in the large scheme of things, they can be quite unimportant.

If life is a puzzle, then remember every day is just one little piece. Even if one tiny puzzle piece doesn’t make perfect sense on its own, we have to assume it’s an important part of the bigger picture.

In failing that, when seeking your inner optimism, try to remember:

1. Everything happens for a reason.

Sometimes the reason is you are a moron and make terrible decisions. Other times, terrible things happen through no fault of your own. Although you can’t see it at the time, these things tend to have a larger purpose.

Being broken up with might lead you to the best relationship of your life. Missing a promotion might send you knocking on a different door, a better one.

Even the awful mistakes that have no obvious silver lining end up acting like life lessons, which save us from making the same mistake at a more important point in our lives.

2. Life only gives you as much as you can handle.

A tough situation won’t be the end of you. A terrible day, week or month won’t break you.

Imagine that tough times are kind of like sprinting on a treadmill: You’re exhausted and it would be so much easier to just give up, go home and lie down, but if you persevere and get to the end, you’ll be proud you made it.

3. Happiness is a choice.

Find something to be happy about in the morning. Anything.

Be happy that your eyeliner looks symmetrical; be happy that your boss is in a morning meeting and you don’t have to see him until after twelve. Be happy it’s almost Friday or your squats are paying off.

There are always things that can bring us down if we let them — things that aren’t going quite right in our lives.

The difference between a happy person and a miserable person are the thoughts they choose to give room to in their minds.

4. Nothing is permanent.

Life is in a constant state of change. Sometimes, you might be trapped in a situation that you feel will last forever.

But even the least optimistic person logically knows that nothing stays the same. No one has ever lived a life of only highs or only lows. The point is to appreciate the good times when you have them and not to let the bad times rule your life.

Sometimes, various situations consume us. They take over our minds and we become convinced we won’t be happy again. We can’t understand why things never go our way or why we never get the things we truly want.

Often, a year down the line, you won’t believe you were so upset about something which seems so trivial now.

5. You always have the final say.

There are a hundred different possible outcomes in your life, but these outcomes are not random. You get the final say in how your life turns out. You choose your career, your friends, your partners and with whom you share your life.

We don’t control everything, but we still control a hell of a lot. So stop blaming the “universe” or “bad luck” on how your life is turning out and take some control back.

If you’re not happy about something, change it. If you genuinely can’t change it, then trust that everything will be okay in the end.

I can’t promise you that it’ll look the same way you imagined, but believe it or not, it doesn’t always have to.

No one can explain why those who seem to have it all sometimes feel empty inside, while others who have almost nothing walk around with a constant smile on their faces.

There is no logical formula for happiness and no tangible item that can promise long-term joy.

Many of us walk through life feeling underwhelmed with our existence, and believing happiness is something of which we are in pursuit, as opposed to something we possess.

We set goals, believing certain things will make us happy: having more money, having that car, buying a house or even those shoes.

Then, once we have said things, we cannot comprehend why we still feel the same. The thing is, no one knows what happiness is or how to achieve it (not even those who have it).

But, if we work around the assumption that happiness is a frame of mind, there are some things we need to work on accepting before we can ever truly achieve it:

1. You can’t control everything — get used to it.

Instead of obsessing about things you can’t change, take control of the things you can.

You can’t follow the same routine and expect a different outcome. In order for your life to change, you have to make some changes.

2. Your life might turn out differently from what you planned or expected.

Everyone has a vision of what life might look like five or 10 years down the line.

Subsequently, every one of us is living in the shadows of our unfulfilled expectations and plans, and we find ourselves saying things like, “I thought I’d be rich by now,” or “I thought I’d be engaged by now.”

The fact of the matter is your life may very well take a different route than what you had envisioned, but just because the journey is different to what you expected, doesn’t mean you won’t reach the same destination in the end.

3. There will always be bumps in the road.

Count your blessings, not your troubles.

Your life is never going to be perfect because there’s no such thing. We spend so much of our time complaining about what could be better, instead of focusing on the things which are pretty damn good.

The truth is you’ll never be happy if you spend too much time focusing on your shortcomings because eventually, they are all you’ll be able to see.

4. There will always be someone whose life is better than yours.

The secret to happiness is to stop comparing yourself to others.

5. Accept that your life is working out exactly how it’s meant to.

We believe things happen for a reason because we have to. The thought that every tiny action is a catalyst to more random events, and that even the smallest decision could change the entire outcome of our future, is too terrifying to contemplate, so don’t.

Let go of what you thought should happen and live in what is happening — it’s happening for a reason (well, probably).

6. Remember, there’s only so much you can control.

The rest is down to luck and timing. Have faith in your own story; it’s not over yet, and even if you’re unhappy now, there may be a plot twist in chapter 19.

7. You’ve made some mistakes and you’ll probably make some more.

It’s not the end of the world.

Instead of worrying about every small regret, ask yourself, “Will this matter in a year?” If the answer is “no,” then, perhaps, it’s not something you should spend hours worrying about.

8. You can’t keep everyone happy.

If you spend too much time trying to please others, you’ll end up pleasing everyone but yourself.

Learn to say “no” every now and then because, sometimes, you just need to focus on the things important to you.

9. Some things are out of your control — let them happen.

Fighting things you can’t control is a waste of your energy.

You can’t smash a plate and expect to control where the pieces fall. When times are tough, it’s best to let the pieces fall where they may and then work on putting them all back together again.

10. Set some goals, then demolish them.

Life is more exciting when it’s filled with possibilities. Set some goals and then work toward achieving something you want.

While you’re at it, try to remember being happy isn’t about accomplishing everything you have on your to-do list, but how much fun you have while attempting to achieve each and every life goal.

Boyden’s Kitchen is the definition of homely and quirky. The mismatched tea cups, board games and knitted dolls for sale all add to the charm of the place, but it’s the food that will keep you going back.

Their breakfast/ brunch style menu has every food lovers essential from cinnamon french toast to pancakes, poached eggs, salmon, porridge and eggs with soldiers. The green tea with mint and rose tea is particularly memorable, as in fact is their Monmouth coffee.

Fresh home-made cakes & pastries

Their selection of home-made cakes and pastries changes on a weekly basis and serve to add to the already fabulous menu.

Boyden’s Kitchen Knitted Dolls

The itself menu isn’t extensive, but what they lack in variety they make up for in quality; the food is fresh and arrives quickly despite the cafe always being busy. The dishes are every Instagramers dream, as each plate is beautifully prepared so that it looks as good as it tastes and the portions are what every food lover hopes for: hearty and inexpensive.

Fluffy Pancakes

The staff were helpful and accommodating with order changes and substitutions and there are newspapers, magazines and free WiFi to keep even the most impatient diner occupied until the food arrives.

The decor is charming and haphazard and is the perfect place to visit on a lazy morning. The only criticism I could give Boyden’s is that you have to go to the counter to pay and they’re only open until 5.30pm.

That being said, the parking is free which adds to the already extensive list of pro’s and tips the scale in favor of making Boyden’s your next must visit place.

I’ve never much believed in New Years Resolutions, mainly because the turning of the year is no more likely to get me on a treadmill than bikini season or my gym instructor’s scornful “I haven’t seen you here in months” eyes. So just to be clear these are not resolutions. It’s two weeks into 2012, so we can agree that I’ve definitely missed the resolution making portion of the year.

These are not so much ways to improve myself, and lets face it why would I want to (don’t answer that) but instead, more ways to ensure I don’t reach 2013 without a single thing to show for myself aside from that increasing Jack Daniels dependency. And shoes, far, far too many shoes.

1. Get a job, one which pays more than the most minimum of wages. As much as I love my mum, I can’t spend the next 27 years living at home, which incidentally is how long it would take me to put a deposit on the very shittiest of flats with my current salary.

2. Sky dive, or bungee jump, or take up aerobatic flying lessons or pretty much anything in this general category that is guaranteed to make me pee my pants a little bit. You’re never going to be amazed in life, unless you do some things, which are a little bit amazing.

3. Succeed in getting George Michaels “Faith” out of my head. It’s been stuck there for approximately 3 years, and whilst before it was bad, now it also comes with the accompanying dance moves compliments of J.D. No not the liquor, the character, in Scrubs.

4. Visit a county, where the rain is warm. Or perhaps before I get ahead of myself, I should aim to visit a country which is not Cypriot, Greek, Greek-Cypriot or any other variation which results in me eating Feta in the village tavern owned by Stelios.

5. Slow dance. Not jokingly. Not with my God-sister while drunk. Not with my dog (who for the record does an excellent Waltz) and not with my fingers on the steering wheel whilst bored in traffic.

The list could go on. A result of a very unproductive 2011 no doubt, I am left with a million and one things I was always meant to, but never quite got around to doing. I guess I could add teaching my dad how to text to the list and losing that last pound that just won’t budge from my thighs, but like I said these’s aren’t resolutions, and I am not a miracle worker.

Smile. No a little bit wider. Show me some teeth. Thatttts it. Feeling better already are you? What do you mean ‘no’? You mean to tell me that grinning and bearing it doesn’t make all your troubles go away? Well there goes my theory out the window.

So what exactly does make us happy? Bucket of chicken? Sometimes. Glass of wine, or in my case make that seven. That usually works. Falling in love? Unlikely to be honest, you spend half the time extatic and the other half suicidally depressed. Or maybe that’s just me again. Watching your team win a match? Though I’m not sure if that’s so much happiness as it is momentary elation.

Money might help. I know they say it doesn’t, but perhaps whoever these ‘they’ are have never owned an Audi R8. Don’t be under any illusion that I have, but take it from me I’d find it pretty hard to be depressed in one of those babies. Maybe I’m just more shallow than your average person (or more honest, I’m not sure).

Expensive cars aside however, I think we’ve got this happiness business all wrong. Most people seem to think we have to be happy all the time, well I personally can’t think of anything more exhausting. See what you’ve actually got to do is make sure you have enough good moments in life to out-balance the incredibly (excuse my language but it’s needed) shit ones.

These days everyone thinks to be happy we need to prove how great our lives are all the time. Its common knowledge if your facebook, twitter, bbm and linkedin statuses don’t indicate what a blast you’re having, the chances are you’re probably at home bored. And if you’re not, well everyone else thinks you are, so you might as well be.

Now call me crazy but maybe, just maybe if everyone spent a little more time living life instead of updating about it, we’d start noticing how great we’ve all really got it.

And what really makes me happy? The little things. Going to buy a pair of shoes and my debit card not being declined. A guy I like texting when he says he will. McDonald’s accidentally forgetting to charge me for my chips. Making my friends laugh, (with me, not at me). And of course, eating half the contents of my fridge and still being able to wear skinny jeans without it being ironic.

I mean I can’t spell to save my life (in fact I have spell-check to thank for my degree) and just yesterday I had to ask my mum if Capers were those little fish things (turns out I meant sardines). So perhaps I am being slightly liberal by putting myself in the ‘Brains’ category, but for the sake of my argument, lets just go with it.

Now I’ve done my research. And most guys want both: Brains and Beauty. I don’t blame them, hell I agree with them. But let’s be honest sometimes the world’s just not that kind.

When forced to make a choice, general consensus was (insert manly voice here) “brains every time because we love a girl who can carry a conversation”. I can almost hear the world-wide sigh of relief while mascara wands are being put down the nation over. So being able to carry a conversation is sexy now? 1 point to me.

Of course that’s all very well in theory. And I know the female population isn’t exactly divided into two categories ’hot’ or ‘not’. One man’s Angelina Jolie may be another’s Susan Boyle (sorry Susan). But the fact of the matter is I’ve never heard of a model or an actress incapable of finding herself a boyfriend. But a doctor, a nurse, a female comedian? Different matter altogether.

Sometimes we like to flatter ourselves and say that men can’t handle strong opinionated women. But then I remember my mum’s married, and they don’t come much more opinionated than her. So that definitely can’t be the problem.

The real issue is, that the men who claim they don’t like beautiful girls probably feel this way because they think, they’d never be able to get one anyway. As for the rest of them? These men who say they like to be ‘intellectually stimulated’. Well lets face it, when you’re talking to a group of girls on a night out. Which one do you remember? The one with the banter? Or the one with the great face and huge tits? Say it. Don’t worry, I won’t judge you. If I was standing next to someone with a face like Jesse Williams, no amount of wit and charm would distract me either.

You see in theory most guys do want a funny girl they can talk football to and argue about which Lord of the Rings film was better. In practically we haven’t evolved all that much from the caveman days. And nothing gets those clubs swinging like a sexy little slave girl who knows her way around the cave. And by cave I mean bedroom.

Of course none of us would ever admit to being this fundamentally shallow. When asked, 90% of us will pick ‘personality’ over ‘looks’ every time. Which is lovely. And would be even lovelier if it were true.

In actuality, pre-marriage, people don’t pick their partners based on their mutual liking for late night spooning sessions and staring into each others eyes. You pick them based on how much of a sexy-beast you’d look, standing next to them. But don’t worry about it. You can all continue to chat up the sexiest girl who’ll listen. And in turn we’ll all continue applying make-up and wearing push up bras and pretending we’re naturally this pretty.

I mean lets face it, when you start dating a new girl, your friends will ask to see a picture of her. Not hear a recent joke she’s told you. And whether you want it to or not, it starts to matter.

Before you judge me, let it be known I gave it a hand sanitiser bath before popping it into my purse next to that losing lottery ticket I couldn’t quite bring myself to throw away.

Who knew you can’t get a loan for a Masters? Not me. Hats off to NatWest really for allowing me an overdraft the size of Brazil. Not that I’m worried about it or anything, I love a good challenge, and digging my self out of that one, is going to be just that.

I remember earning some money somewhere along the way, but since the only thing I ever invested in was my feet, we’re back to square one. My maths is rusty at best, so correct me if I’m wrong, but with the help of my blackberry’s calculator I worked out that over the years, I’ve spent approximately £3000 on shoes.

My next pair perhaps?

Now, I didn’t want to have to whip out the finger of blame, but I’m convinced that my parents have been encouraging this unfortunate obsession on the basis that without savings I’d be forced to live with them until the age of 35.

To any other culture this would seem an inprobable explanation, but us Greeks like our kids where we can see them. Where we can ensure they are eating four square meals a day, and only bringing home acceptable suitors (wealthy bankers who grown their own tomato plants and are in possession of a stereotypically Mediterranean long baby finger nail).

“Love grows” my Grandma tells me, “what you need is stability”. They may as well give up this pretence of happiness altogether and nudge me down the aisle, to Abba’s Money Money Money proving my fellow students right once and for all.

I should elaborate. Way back when in sixth form, I had been voted “Most Likely To Marry For Money”. I personally don’t know where they got such an idea.

Yes I’d like to be rich, who wouldn’t? (Walk in wardrobe’s don’t build themselves you know). And yes it’s probably going to take me a while (because as I’ve discovered, working in the media industry involves a lot of working for free). And okay, if I were the “sleep your way to the top” type of girl I’d probably get there a lot faster. But damn it my morals are always getting in the way of an easy life.

So until success busts a groove over to my ends, London keep dropping those 20p’s and I’ll keep picking them up. And one day, when I can spare them, perhaps I’ll drop a few back.