Sunday, December 1, 2013

Humor: Carols and Tinsel Time Tunes ‘Round the Zodiac

Every holiday carol is likely to be loved by some signs more
than others. I asked my alter ego, Auntie Joyce, to scratch her head and share
her ideas and acerbic wit on which holiday tunes go with which singers in the
zodiac. Here’s a taste of her which-craft!

Aries: "We Need a
Little Christmas (Right This Very Minute!)” – OK, it’s not technically a carol,
but this catchy tune from the musical Mame
captures Aries impatience to a T. Besides, if you have to be first, you’d be
singing a different tune because you’d be singing it before the carol season begins.
If you insist it has to be a carol, “The First Noel” for obvious reasons ….

Taurus: “It Came
Upon a Midnight Clear” – With its sweet, almost sensuous peacefulness, this
carol will appeal to the laid-back Bull, happy to envision angels bending near
the earth (his or her element), touching their harps of gold. We know how
Taurii love their gold.

Gemini: “Santa
Claus Is Coming to Town” – Gem’s a messenger, right? This song reminds me of
Paul Revere running through the streets of urban America chanting, “The Santa
is coming.” Besides, it’s about lists and checking them twice. Of course, one
list would never do for the list-happy Gemini, unless it were Santa’s
never-ending scroll. Gems just keep singing and fantasizing about the List to
End All Lists. It’s almost better than sex.

Cancer: “Away in
a Manger” – What Cancer with his or her strong inner parent wouldn’t worry for
baby Jesus having no home or crib for his head? Who else would be more eager to
sing about creating the comforts of home, even in a meager stable? Obvious runner-up:
“I’ll Be Home for Christmas.”

Leo: “All I Want
for Christmas is You.” Not that you’re hooked on romance or attention or
anything, King or Queen of Everyone’s Heart.

Virgo: “The Twelve Days of Christmas” – It’s complex,
it’s wordy, it requires memorization. It’s a challenge to get right, and it
offers no end of possibilities to critique those who can’t cut it.

Libra: “All I
Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth” – With Libra’s bent for beauty, he or
she would truly be disturbed to be missing these important smile props. Not to
mention, it’s easier to kiss with good dentition. Gives the lips a good
foundation and backdrop for the pressure of pursing and pressing against
another’s. Runner-up: “The Peace Song.” (Let There Be Peace on Earth and Let it
Begin with Me)

Scorpio: “O Come,
All Ye Faithful” – Not that I’m saying Scorps are jealous or anything.

Sagittarius: “O,
Hanukkah!” Jewish or Gentile, this catchy tune is likely to capture the heart
of fiery Sag. Hanukkah’s a Festival of Lights, there’s gambling
in a game of spinning the dreidel, it’s a religious celebration--and a
party. Generous Sag has the opportunity to give eight days of gifts without
having to memorize their names in reverse order. (See Virgo.) Runner up: “Grandma
Got Run Over by a Reindeer” for a title so tactless ... dare I say more?

Capricorn: “Up on
the Rooftop” – Goats like to climb, and who knows? A He Goat might meet a
reindeer babe up there. Girl Goats might meet a
hunky deer. (Note to Cap: Avoid the one with the red nose. Possible lush and you know
how they tend to get out of control.)

Aquarius: “Auld
Lang Syne” – This traditional New Year’s tune is about friendship, the Water
Bearer’s favorite form of love. It’s sung at parties where gregarious Aquarius
shines when people are thinking of revolutions. (That’s resolutions, Aquarius.)

Pisces: “All
Through the Night” – A traditional Welsh folk song about a sleeping child
attended by angels, it’s a double-header for any pair of Fish. You can zzz out after
being tucked in by heavenly beings. Runners up: “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”
for the occasional Fish that drinks like one and "Blue Christmas" for those sensitive artiste types who cry in their beer before drinking it.

May your Inner Zodiac Singers always help you hit the high notes in life!

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What is a Radical Virgo?

To learn the characteristics of a Radical Virgo, read Joyce Mason’s article, “The Radical Virgo.” In a nutshell, these Virgos are not the old fussbudget stereotype—no Felix Ungers or Adrian Monks here. Radical Virgos have the potential to change the world through their ability to develop and discover their unique pattern, becoming true human beings—not “human doings.” Radical Virgos give service in a whole new way by contributing to their community and world what they were designed to give. When we each do that, we have made heaven on earth. It’s like having all the cogs in the great wheel of creation turning like they were just oiled!

You don't even have to be a Sun Virgo to have the characteristics of a Radical Virgo, though any planets in the V-sign help. You don’t join this club. You recognize that you already belong.

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With the inception of the mixed media PsychKicks posts, Joyce is focusing her writing on all the tools in her medicine bag, astrology being just one of them. The more we know; the more we grow.The aim of life is self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly--that is what each of us is here for. ~ Oscar Wilde

About "The Radical Virgo"

Joyce Mason has Sun in the last degree of Virgo, three planets in Libra, Taurus Rising and a Capricorn Moon. She's a "PUNC," or a person with a prominence of the outer planets Pluto, Uranus, Neptune--add bridging and healing Chiron. (See her Outerplanetary People series for more on PUNCs.) Joyce is often mistaken for an Aquarius/ Sagittarius blend. Even if you don’t speak astrology, that makes sense on some symbolic level because they both end in “ius.” She believes that I and Us are one in the same—and celebrates the human spirit in which we’re all joined.

First and foremost a writer, Joyce was a consulting astrologer, tarot reader, dreamworker, and flower essence practitioner for 25 years. Her astrological specialties are the sign of Virgo and the centaur planet, Chiron. She writes on these and many other topics. Read her complete bio and astrology articles on her Writer Joyce Mason website.

The name The Radical Virgo comes from an article Joyce wrote in The Mountain Astrologer many years ago. It also evolved into a personal nickname.

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