I'm afraid that if we spend all of our time tiptoe-ing around every possible phobia, we are barely going to have time to discuss the etiquette issues at hand.

I don't see how putting in a simple "Discusses death of a pet" really takes that much time away from discussing etiquette. It's a simple courtesy to your fellow EHellions that takes almost no time to write.

I have to agree with Dotty's last couple of posts - I think it's great to have things like "warning pet death" or "mentions TTC issues" - it certainly solves the problem of thread titles that are so generic you have no idea what they are talking about as well as allowing you to skip over them if you have no interest/are phobic/etc about a certain topic.

ETA - I don't see how this is very different from posting a thread in a certain category based on what it is about - for example if I don't want to read about work issues I know to avoid threads that have been posted in the Work category - I see it as another type of shorthand.

Now you see, as a newcomer, I have been using the store-name euphemisms because I thought it was required. Since this thread has covered it, I'll gladly stop. It's just much easier to write "Home Depot" than "the Land of Orange Aprons" and have non-Americans wondering

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~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Common sense is not a gift, but a curse. Because thenyou have to deal with all the people who don't have it. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Then there's the posts that try to hide certain words by changing to a light colour. There is one thread where a very normal and common medical procedure is dimmed and one must highlight to read it. For the life of me, I can't figure out why it could be deemed offensive or upsetting to others that it needed to be hidden.

It may not be to protect YOU. It could be that the poster doesn't want to just yell out - "HEY, I GOT AN STD THE OTHER DAY, AND I'M NOT SURE WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT." Perhaps the shading is more for their own wishes to not broadcast something boldly (but still be able to get feedback on it here) rather than to protect your sensabilities.

That's the thing, Dotty. It wasn't an STD. Although, I don't know why anyone would post that topic here. It was a normal and very common medical surgical procedure, not one that described the process in detail. Instead of dimming the actual word, why not just say surgical procedure? That way, if the poster is worried about screaming all over the internet (which they most likely aren't since it was posted dimmed), they have no worries about offending others or triggering some long lost memory that is painful for one one millionth of the population.

I like what the PP said about tiptoeing - it seems the dimming, warnings and fear of offending anyone by saying 'reptile' or 'someone has died' or 'medical procedure' is way over the top.

Wouldn't the title trigger the emotions too rather than just having a title appropriately named?

Honestly? No.

That is the answer I was looking for - if one is so worried about reading about the death of an animal, then the title "My Fluffy died' would probably be an indication it is not the thread to read. What if someoen didn't think a warning is necessary and then someone got upset about the topic? That is not the poster's problem, but the issue lies with the person with the personal aversion to it.

I guess, then, my question is what warnings are deemed necessary. And if we're gonna have more than like two, we probably should have a list somewhere.

I mean, for serious, it would never EVER cross my mind to put WARNING: MENTIONS REPTILES on any post I start that happens to do so. I'm not overly mean ... it just would never occur to me.

I've never known anyone so sensitive that the mere sight of a word - not even a picture, a freakin' WORD - would set 'em off. (Thank goodness, because I would almost certainly deem it an affectation and would judge the person accordingly.)

I'm afraid that if we spend all of our time tiptoe-ing around every possible phobia, we are barely going to have time to discuss the etiquette issues at hand.

I don't see how putting in a simple "Discusses death of a pet" really takes that much time away from discussing etiquette. It's a simple courtesy to your fellow EHellions that takes almost no time to write.

"My dog died", "My beloved Hamster, Rufus went to the Rainbow Bridge" ..etc., are all informative titles that let the audience know that the death of a pet is the topic of the thread.

Saying that a warning is now becoming a courtesy (implying that not writing one is discourteous) sounds more like the 'title police' than anything else. For me, it's a to each their own kind of thing. We just can't anticipate every single emotional trigger for the thousands of members of this group. Moreover, one of the foundations of this forum is not to look for offense when none is intended - which I fear will start to happen when Member X is aghast that the topic of 'buffoons having lunch' triggers her long lost childhood nightmare of a baffoon infiltrating her lunch at a restaurant when she was 10.

I have to agree with Dotty's last couple of posts - I think it's great to have things like "warning pet death" or "mentions TTC issues" - it certainly solves the problem of thread titles that are so generic you have no idea what they are talking about as well as allowing you to skip over them if you have no interest/are phobic/etc about a certain topic.

ETA - I don't see how this is very different from posting a thread in a certain category based on what it is about - for example if I don't want to read about work issues I know to avoid threads that have been posted in the Work category - I see it as another type of shorthand.

How is "my dog died" title generic and difficult to discern the topic? People know right off the bat if they can handle reading it or not.

We just can't anticipate every single emotional trigger for the thousands of members of this group.

No, we can't. We do know, however, that the death of a pet is something that is upsetting to some people here - for various reasons. As such, this is a warning that I think is completely appropriate to use. Other triggers, we may or may not know about. We DO know about this one.

Wouldn't the title trigger the emotions too rather than just having a title appropriately named?

Honestly? No.

Why not? Serious question, no snark intended, just curiosity. If someone's trigger is animal death, and the post title is WARNING ANIMAL DEATH, why would those words not affect the person?

Because it's not details. It's something that can be skimmed over quickly without really registering in the mind without reading the more complete details about it.

Right after I lost my sweet boy, reading the details of pet death was like someone was taking a fist and socking me in the gut as hard as they possibly could. I knew that any thread discussing the intimate details of a pet's death would have me really upset, because I was in a place in my own grief where I couldn't comfort another person on their loss. I was just trying to hang onto whatever control I had myself. You are right. Seeing the thread title did hurt me as well. But, I definitely knew not to open that thread up and see anything else about it. I wasn't blindsided by the thread. I knew it was one that I could skip over and not even open when I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it in the state I was in.

I'm still unclear on why putting in a simple "discusses pet death" really is that difficult. I'm not being snarky, either. I am not talking about other warnings - the clowns, the snakes, the extraterrestrials, whatever. I'm talking about something that several people in this thread alone have expressed gratitude for - the warning that the death of an animal is something that they actually do appreciate a warning on. Why is that something that we're having to debate here? If it's something that you know helps one of your fellow EHellions out with, why argue it? It's 3 little words. Maybe not 3 that matter to you. But, to the people who are telling you in this thread that they're really appreciated, they're 3 pretty important ones.

I can't see the difference between "Sad story (warning: animal death)" and "My Dog died" as topic titles. Except the second is more descriptive, which I think we should be shooting for anyway.

Either one works.

Is THAT what this discussion is about? Ok, so be it. If that's the issue that y'all are debating, fine! I don't care how you phrase it in the title - I'm just asking that you do so somehow.

My confusion has been why you can't put SOMETHING to warn others in the title. If you want to phrase it as "My dog died", that's a warning to anyone who wants to avoid the thread that it's something to skip.