Saturday, November 3, 2012

Well, I checked my stats tonight and I have written, three... gulp, 3 posts so far in 2012. That's not so good. Have a lost my mojo?? Not so much... just got pulled under with this thing called life. I've wanted to come back... wanted to write... have actually had lots on my heart to write about, particularly with Reid transitioning to a general ed kindergarten this fall and all that brought us to that crossroad.... but my blog laid silent most of the year... and needed to I suppose for a bit. I don't like fast and furious in my life... I like slow and steady much better and in order to try and pull in the reigns a bit when life felt like it was speeding up much too fast I decided to set aside a few things... and my cherished blog was one that needed to take a back seat. But... my fingers have been itching to type and my heart and head have been housing stories I've wanted to share...

And yes...I know this is totally vain but I really truly think that the fact that my blog was still stuck in Christmas mode the whole year through bothered me to the point of well, silence. But weeks have a funny way of turning into months...and well, we are now 7 weeks away from Christmas... and the fact that in the last 24 hours I have purchased 3 Christmas presents as well as the wreath below... well, I deem the background appropriate enough to say, "You're close enough to Christmas sistah... hold your head up high and type away!".

So type away I will... and what the end result of tonight's typing will be I am not at this moment sure of, except that I know that I have been wanting to write about a question I was asked recently....

A few weeks ago I was asked by a new friend, who also has a sweet son with Down syndrome... "Why do you write?" as in my blog.

I type my answer here maybe even more as a reflection for myself than it is meant to be informative in this space... but here is my answer;

My dad lives out of state, so when Reid was born I called him from my hospital bed to tell him the news. I remember clutching to that phone needing to hear his voice on the other end, I needed to hear my own parent tell me it was going to be okay, which he did but just as speedily as those words came off his lips so were the words, "Are you ready to write kiddo?". I cried and told him that this, Down syndrome, was not what I had ever envisioned myself writing about. He knows my secret passion to write because we both share the bug~ his to write a novel and mine children's books. But, he encouraged me to write, about this, Down syndrome. I filed it in my head not knowing what I would ever do with that comment, but filed it knowing it was a special exchange between the two of us.

About 6 months later I stumbled upon a site that fed blogs through it... all of these blogs were written by family members who had a child with Down syndrome. What??.. I could hardly believe it. Night after night once the boys were in bed I would scour the site and all the blogs and read post after post of families just. doing. life. And... they were happy. Life did not end for them. The theme I began to see in all of them was that Down syndrome was a non issue, it was a blessing to them, it was what molded them into better versions of themselves... and it was fuel to my soul. Truly... the idea that I could peer into someone's life and see how they were doing life along this new journey I was on was so helpful to me. I gleaned resources on top of encouragement, and began to put into focus my philosophy of raising a child with special needs. I could feel myself taking a little of this and a little of that from each site and each family.... without them even knowing it because they were right there- on the internet- for me to learn from. I. am. so. grateful. for those blogs in the early years. And then as crazy as it sounds... many of those strangers I gleaned from in the beginning... have become friends along this road. People I feel invested in, people I never would have met had it not been for this extra little chromosome that our children share. I need this connection with others who also have a child with Down syndrome as much as I need the connection with my childhood friends, and other close friends I've made in my life.

That... that's why I write. To connect. And... if there is a family that stumbles upon my blog that is new on this journey and can see the same thing I saw in others.... that we are happy, that we love our boys to the moon and back, that Down syndrome does not define our youngest son- that he is more like his brother and his friends than not- that we are not sad anymore that he has Down syndrome- that we feel so incredibly blessed... then I say thank you to those who came before me and showed me the beauty of writing and sharing so that others might get their legs about them like I did.

"Yeah Dad, I'm ready to write...."

...and as for what my little men have been up to while my blog has laid silent, here is a snippet...

That wreath up top I bought today?... bought from a friend on the other side of the US who I met via her blog when she was still pregnant with her sweet Bennett, who also sports an extra chromosome. Thanks to her writing, I got to celebrate his birth and pray for him when he was going into heart surgery months later. I love this little thing called writing connecting.

8 comments:

I read this last night and couldn't comment. Darn phone. Back today to tell you that you have been missed. You know, we ebb and flow with this blogging thing and it is often dictated by our lives and sometimes a hiatus means that things are good and steady and you are just busy living life. Not that blogging means the opposite, but I think that those that take a break sometimes come back renewed with a sense of purpose. Yes to keep in contact with far away friends and family, which is a gift but sometimes, for us, it a reconnecting with this community that brought you online on the first place.

I wanted to tell you that I looked up on my kitchen shelf the other day and saw that precious cup that Luke made Zoey way back when. Little love still can't drink from it but I still have hope that one day she will.She just has to my sweet slow and steady girl.

When I saw the wreath I thought of Adrienne so I laughed when you said you got it from her. She has such a distinct style and I love it!

So glad that you are back online. You were one of the first blogs that I started reading and you gave me such hope in those early days even before I started blogging. I was so happy to have met you up at Jen's house because I got to see that it wasn't all a facade. You really were the amazing mom and woman that you were in the blog.

Missed you like you cannot imagine! It's wonderful to see your photos and hear your voice again, virtual friend. Wish that my reasons for silence were as noble as your's. Your boys are handsome--full of life. You are gorgeous! Hope you're able to keep writing...:)

As always, you've left me teary eyed. I say you should start that children's book that you've always wanted to do. Why not make it about Reid and Downs? You are a truly amazing, beautiful mom and person Love you! P.S. What does the "H" stand for on your wreath?

About Me

I am blessed to be married to an incredibly loving and kindhearted man, Toby, and I am a mom to 2 boys...I am in the chapter of my life that involves baseball games, homework, playdates, diapers, and dump trucks. It is simply the best! With every part of my being I love being "Mom" and have learned the depth at which my heart can go when our youngest son was born with Down syndrome. This blog was created to connect with other families on this same journey that an extra 21st chromosome presents. Join me as I journal about Down syndrome, life, and raising Reid and his big brother Luke.