MUSIC - Shakira 'Oral fixation'

Note to 'artistes'; unless you're Pink Floyd do not start an album with chanting monks and then finish it with children singing. Note to Rick Rubin; never let me down like this again. Note to Shakira; please stop.

MUSIC - The Cuban Brothers A to Z

Anyone who has been out clubbing or popped to a festival over the last few years can't have failed to be amused by The Cuban Brothers sublime cabaret act.

Here the spray-tanned ones unleash an album of sounds that help form the backdrop to their hilarious stage shows.

Beginning with the Average White Band ('Pick up the pieces') and culminating with Zapp's 'Mo bounce to the ounce' this is a veritable alphabetic trudge through great funk and hip hop moments. While there's more than a fair splattering of classics from the likes of Naughty by Nature and Lionel Richie, young upstarts Fat Freddy's Drop and Ugly Duckling offer cheeky littles slices of their worlds.

While the track choice is faultless the skits by the boys that crop up along the way may cause short-term amusment before inducing long-term annoyance. Still when you enter the world of The Cuban Brothers you're at their mercy and let's be thankful for that.

BOOK - Figo by Hamish Brown

Apparently there's an English version of this book coming out in the new year. Shame then that I've been sent a copy of the first Portuguese print run. Needless to say I'm not fluent in Portuguese.

The bulk of the book though centres on Hamish Brown's year long photographic record of the former Real Madrid star. Hence we get photos of Figo clipping his toenails, warming up, posing with his missus, hugging his fans, causing allsorts of hatred on his return to Barcelona and, obviously, in action. There's cameos aplenty from the odd football legend as well as Real Madrid and Portugal players alike too.

While Figo has been one of the world's greats this also featured on a time when the player was suffering a lapse in form and was to eventually depart from the Bernabeu. It might say this in the text but to be honest I haven't got the foggiest!

Whether posed or candid there's no denying the quality of Brown's photography, though if you're not a football completist or a Figo-obsessive it offers little more than a multitude of snaps of the rubber-faced wizard and his stunning wife. Unless you're Portuguese!

Saturday, December 17, 2005

MUSIC - Sing-Sing 'Sing-Sing and I'

Popular consensus suggests that before Damon, Liam, Jarvis et al gatecrashed the public conscience British music was in a bit of a bad state. It’s at this point that the spotlight normally falls on Kurt Cobain and the global dominance of ‘grunge’. While sales undoubtedly back this up, such a short-sighted vision hides the fact of just how good some of our own crop really were. Alongside the likes of My Bloody Valentine and Ride, Lush were at the forefront of a scene known to most as ‘shoegazing’, a guitar-led form of sonics that offered the listener a more insular experience than the mass communal that Britpop would soon serve up.

While both Ride and My Bloody Valentine dropped out of the game to cameo later (Ride’s Andy Bell with Oasis, MBV’s Kevin Shields with Primal Scream) Lush solider on, growing with the climate and in the process enjoying their biggest chart successes.

Now years after the band called it a day, one of the band’s key focal points (along with Miki Berenyi) Emma Anderson resurfaces again with her latest project Sing-Sing.

The Anderson-penned album opener ‘Lover’ announces itself with the kind of pop-punch that later Lush singles ‘Ladykiller’ and ‘Single Girl’ oozed so freely while elsewhere the sweet, spikey narrative of ‘Mister Kadali’ invites you into the world of hooky spiritual healers .

With sea-shanty sing-a-longs (‘The time has come’) and woozy moments aplenty (‘Going out tonight’, ‘Come, sing me a song’) the sweeping grace that runs throughout warms a seat and drops your shoes onto wooden floorboards with a much-needed elegance.

While others prefer to offer jarring bouts of bile-ridden fury, Sing Sing are seemingly more than aware that when coupled with, ahem, a lush bed of melodies the occasional barbed word can linger more menacingly no matter how sweetly sung.

No reviews will be marked by stars, marks out of 10, dancing men or any other shortcut to reviewing. Such things never encapuslate the essence of the review and therefore should be banned. If you want to read a review then read it, don't skip to the end to see how many smileys something has warranted!

That should do it for the moment. Anything else I can think of along the way will be added as and when.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Welcome to ireviewanything.blogger.com

This is a blog set up for the simple purpose of reviewing everything sent to it.

Founded by a journalist with over 6 years professional experience and a CV that includes the likes of The Face, The Guardian, Mixmag, i-D, Esquire (amongst others) ireviewanything will cast opinion on EVERYTHING FROM MUSIC DEMOS/RELEASES TO POP-UP TOASTERS.

The only rules are that we need physical items rather than just some boring email press release.

IF YOU SEND IT, IT WILL BE REVIEWED!IF YOU SEND JUST A PRESS RELEASE IT WON'T!

(What may be) FAQ -

Q - What do you review?A - Literally anything! If you send a demo of your new band, it will be reviewed! If you send a food mixer, it will be reviewed! If you send clothing, it will be reviewed! If it's made of metal, wood or plastic, if you send it it'll be reviewed! Please don't send live animals!

Q - How long will it take for you to review something?A- This all depends on how much the site has been sent at one particular time. Items will be reviewed in a first come, first reviewed order. There will be no queue-jumping!

Q - How long will each review be in length?A - It could be 20, it could be 200, it could be 2,000; it all depends on the item and how much we like it. Even if we really like something we may not write loads about it; sometimes less is more!

Q- Why should we trust what you think?A - Well, you don't have to but with over 6 years experience in writing about the likes of music, fashion, sport and household appliances ireviewanything is certainly more knowledgable than most and will give you an honest opinion.

Q- How are your football team doing at the moment?A - No comment

Q- How do I send you stuff?A - Email me at my gmail address and I'll let you know from there

About

This is a blog set up for the simple purpose of reviewing everything sent to it.
Founded by a journalist with over 7 years professional experience and a CV that includes the likes of The Face, The Guardian, Mixmag, i-D, Esquire (amongst others) ireviewanything will cast opinion on EVERYTHING FROM MUSIC DEMOS/RELEASES TO POP-UP TOASTERS.
The only rules are that we need physical items rather than just some boring email press release. IF YOU SEND IT, IT WILL BE REVIEWED!