Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden bent over backwards to rebut Mitt Romney’s disparaging remark that Russia is our nation’s “number one geopolitical foe.” Both disputed Romney’s assertions and attacked him for his supposedly outmoded thinking. But the president’s wingmen lacked the “flexibility” of Obama in apologizing to America’s enemies, while our Failure-in-Chief avoids the matter lest he be seen for a Russian sycophant.

The necessarily reclusive Biden, a human gaffe machine fresh off of calling a community college president “Dr. Pepper,” took Romney to task for being stuck in the antiquated days of nuclear fall out shelters and McCarthyite infomercials. Here is what the doddering old fool had to say on Disgrace the Nation:

[Romney] acts like he thinks the Cold War is still on, Russia is still our major adversary. I don’t know where he has been.

This is not 1956. We have disagreements with Russia, but they’re united with us on Iran. One of only two ways we’re getting material into Afghanistan to our troops is through Russia … if there is an oil shutdown in any way in the Gulf, they’ll consider increasing oil supplies to Europe.

I don’t know where Joe Biden has been, but nearly every point in his broadside is not only factually untrue, but palpably ridiculous. It might be helpful to shine a flashlight into that cluttered attic of accumulated nonsense that passes for Biden’s brain, sweep away the cobwebs, and discover exactly what he believes merits a reconsideration of Russia’s attitude towards the United States that we are its main adversary.

Is it Russia’s stellar record of democracy? The economic reforms that landed the majority of the country’s wealth in the hands of billionaire oligarchs while on Al Gore and Strobe Talbott’s watch? The razing of Chechnya or the recent shenanigans in Abkhazia and Ossetia? Russia’s revanchement into westernizing Georgia or Gazprom cutting off gas supplies to Europe, freezing millions, due to a transit dispute with Ukraine?

Pray tell, what warrants the “reset,” Cotton-eyed Joe? Putin’s unconstitutional third term as president? Mr. Biden should be against such a move, considering his risible belief that he’s next in line for the highest office in the land (lord, help us).

Speaking of being stuck in a time warp, Biden mentions 1956 — apparently an allusion to the Soviet crushing of the Hungarian revolt. But then again, perhaps I give the man too much credit. Since then, the USSR suppressed the 1968 Prague Spring, put down revolts in the Gdansk shipyards in Poland in the 1970s, and stifled “Solidarity” in the 1980s — certainly, there are more recent dates one could point to as being reflective of the “evil empire” than 1956.

In any event, it doesn’t matter if some imagined “Cold War” has “officially” ended or not. If Russia has proven itself hostile to American interests, then so be it.

The most damning part of Biden’s idiotic rant is his mentioning of an oil shutdown. Of course, Russia could ratchet up supplies to Europe, due to the upward pressure on gas prices. So… why aren’t we drilling for our own oil? Why did Obama reinstate the oil moratorium, despite court orders forbidding it? Why do Senate Democrats oppose opening up the ANWR to drilling, as proposed in the recently passed Ryan budget plan? Why aren’t we seeking more oil in the Arctic or off the coast of Alaska? Why was Obama so coquettish on building the Keystone oil pipeline, and why is it dysfunctional as currently devised?

Isn’t America furthering Russian interests through not developing our own oil resources? Isn’t the president and vice president essentially implying that we switch to the same kind of alternative energy nonsense that has made Europe pathetically reliant on Russia for gas supplies? Or am I being too “flexible” in my reasoning?

In addition to Biden’s always-brilliant grasp on the pulse of the people, we have the genuinely unlikable Frau Clinton’s comments. “I think it’s somewhat dated to be looking backwards instead of being realistic about where we agree, where we don’t agree,” our nation’s chief diplomat said while in Turkey (the country).

So, we’re just supposed to allow Russia to subvert our foreign policy goals and look the other way, lest we be ‘stuck in the past’? In international relations, there is a fine line between forgiveness and hoping for a better future, and just plain being a sucker. Our Secretary of State should work to forge more productive working relationships with other nations by being as gracious as possible. But there is no doubt that Russia is ruled by an authoritarian regime that has frustrated our foreign policy for the last decade. The Russkies were no serious partner of the U.S. in the War on Terror. It hasn’t given us cut-rate oil prices as our gas prices soared. What has Russia ever done for the United States besides stick a thumb in our eye, Nikolai Volkoff style?

Fortunately, the Romney camp has made my job of correcting the stupidity of the Obama administration by firing back at the president’s proxies in a deft and pointed fashion. Its highlights enhance the prior criticism:

Vice President Biden appears to have forgotten the Russian government’s opposition to crippling sanctions on Iran, its obstructionism on Syria and its own backsliding into authoritarianism. And Secretary Clinton herself asked recently of Russia, ‘whose side are they on?’

Our president humiliated himself and the country with his Twitter-like exchange with Putin’s temporary stooge Dmitry Medvedev, implying Obama would take a more “flexible” position with Russia on ABM defense, and presumably on other important national security matters. Perhaps, that’s why we aren’t seeing Obama take on his future election rival Mitt Romney regarding our relations with Russia himself. President Obama isn’t quite in the position to play the role of kowtower to the ex-KGB president Putin. It’s possible our wonderful leader has finally bowed so low this time, he developed a sciatic.