Church jargon

Church jargon.

This is something that I have been thinking about for a while, how we use so much church jargon, to the people who we are trying to talk to about Jesus. Sometimes they just look at us and wonder, ‘what on earth is he saying?” Let me tell you a little story about David, Ed and Helen.

One fine day David was standing at the bus stop, when he seen his friend Ed approaching, whom he had not seen in ages. Ed comes up to him all excited, with this huge grin on his face, David thinks Ed is not like that, so there is something wrong with this guy.

“David” Ed declares, “I am saved, I am born again.” “What do you mean saved? Did you go over board into the sea and someone had to save you? What happened, were you in a fire or something did the fireman rescue you? And is this born again thing? What was wrong with the first way you were born?” David he replies.

“No” Ed says, “You need to be washed in the blood to understand.” What” David says (with a question mark in his tone of voice) “I think you have lost it Ed?”

NO, David he says, “I am a Christian. I am washed in the blood. You need to be too” Ed then jumps on the bus leaving David totally confused. As the bus pulls away Ed shouts out “Oh I am also committed.” David thinks to himself, “I think you need to be Ed, its professional help you need. The men in white coats, saved, born-again, washed in the blood, committed.”

A few days later, David met up with Ed again. Ed then just started by saying, “I am planted now, and I have put my roots down deep.” David just scratched his head in total confusion. He said, “Ed sometimes I wonder about you I really do. You live in a block of flats ten stories high, you don’t have a garden, in fact you hate gardening, so how can you be planted with you roots down deep? Are you all right Ed? Do you need to see a doctor?” As he was leaving David Ed turned to him and said, “I have had my daily bread, over breakfast what about you, David you really need daily bread.” David replied, “Ed I have cornflakes for breakfast I never have toast, what are you going on about, this daily bread thing?”

About a week went by and David was out walking when He saw Helen the woman of his dreams. She just took his breath away. When he got talking to her, she told him she goes to church. (Right away David thought oh no, not another one. I hope it’s not the same place as Ed). But it was. David never said a thing, as Ed was his friend. Helen invited David to church on the next coming Sunday. David went along just hoping that Ed would not see him. But to late. Ed ran up to him David, and he shout at the top of his voice, “So you have decided to follow the Lamb?” David said nothing, but wondered why Ed started talking about sheep and Shepard’s, when he has never been near a farm in all his life. Ed just gets more stranger by the day, David thought to himself. Ed sat next to David, when all of a sudden Ed started shouting in this strange language. David looked Ed and thought, he defiantly needs to see a doctor now, and certainly he needs therapy and he needs committed, the sooner the better.

David could not make the next Sunday meeting, but Helen went along. (David really liked the church and thought about going back).

Ed seen him on the Monday and said, “Hay David, God really moved!” what do you man God really moved? That is so unfair, I was just about to go back to the church, and now your telling me God has moved?” “What’s going now Ed?” Ed then went on to say with a smile, “Oh and Helen was on fire.” “Helen was ON FIRE, What do you mean she was on fire, is she all right what happened?” David said utterly shocked. Ed just walked away from David shaking his head saying, “You need to take the Veil away from your eyes away.”

David had by now completely lost it with Ed and said, “Ed your taking in riddles again, I don’t have curtains or veil over my eyes. Ed I just don’t understand you any more”.

A few days later David met a man who told him that Jesus loved him and died for him, and that God wants him to be in heaven one day with him. He told him that God loves him, and that through the cross of Jesus he can have a new life, when he accepts Jesus as his Lord and Saviour. It all made perfect sense to David.

David now goes to church, he is born again, saved, planted, with deep roots, committed, washed in the blood, he takes his daily bread in the morning, the Veil from his eyes has been removed, he at times talks in an other language, he is on fire for God and goes around telling people that God really moves. The strange thing is when he is talking to his all friends about Jesus; some of his friends just have not a clue what he is saying or what he means.

I loved the way Jesus says things in a simple way that every one could understand, that God loves them.

God bless you my friend, Matthew

Church jargon.

This is something that I have been thinking about for a while, how we use so much church jargon, to the people who we are trying to talk to about Jesus. Sometimes they just look at us and wonder, ‘what on earth is he saying?” Let me tell you a little story about David, Ed and Helen.

One fine day David was standing at the bus stop, when he seen his friend Ed approaching, whom he had not seen in ages. Ed comes up to him all excited, with this huge grin on his face, David thinks Ed is not like that, so there is something wrong with this guy.

“David” Ed declares, “I am saved, I am born again.” “What do you mean saved?Did you go over board into the sea and someone had to save you? What happened, were you in a fire or something did the fireman rescue you? And is this born again thing? What was wrong with the first way you were born?” David he replies.

“No” Ed says, “You need to be washed in the blood to understand.” What” David says (with a question mark in his tone of voice) “I think you have lost it Ed?”

NO, David he says, “I am a Christian. I am washed in the blood. You need to be too” Ed then jumps on the bus leaving David totally confused. As the bus pulls away Ed shouts out “Oh I am also committed.” David thinks to himself, “I think you need to be Ed, its professional help you need. The men in white coats, saved, born-again, washed in the blood, committed.”

A few days later, David met up with Ed again. Ed then just started by saying, “I am planted now, and I have put my roots down deep.” David just scratched his head in total confusion. He said, “Ed sometimes I wonder about you I really do. You live in a block of flats ten stories high, you don’t have a garden, in fact you hate gardening, so how can you be planted with you roots down deep? Are you all right Ed? Do you need to see a doctor?” As he was leaving David Ed turned to him and said, “I have had my daily bread, over breakfast what about you, David you really need daily bread.” David replied, “Ed I have cornflakes for breakfast I never have toast, what are you going on about, this daily bread thing?”

About a week went by and David was out walking when He saw Helen the woman of his dreams. She just took his breath away. When he got talking to her, she told him she goes to church. (Right away David thought oh no, not another one. I hope it’s not the same place as Ed). But it was. David never said a thing, as Ed was his friend. Helen invited David to church on the next coming Sunday. David went along just hoping that Ed would not see him. But to late. Ed ran up to him David, and he shout at the top of his voice, “So you have decided to follow the Lamb?” David said nothing, but wondered why Ed started talking about sheep and Shepard’s, when he has never been near a farm in all his life. Ed just gets more stranger by the day, David thought to himself. Ed sat next to David, when all of a sudden Ed started shouting in this strange language. David looked Ed and thought, he defiantly needs to see a doctor now, and certainly he needs therapy and he needs committed, the sooner the better.

David could not make the next Sunday meeting, but Helen went along. (David really liked the church and thought about going back).

Ed seen him on the Monday and said, “Hay David, God really moved!” what do you man God really moved? That is so unfair, I was just about to go back to the church, and now your telling me God has moved?” “What’s going now Ed?” Ed then went on to say with a smile, “Oh and Helen was on fire.” “Helen was ON FIRE, What do you mean she was on fire, is she all right what happened?” David said utterly shocked. Ed just walked away from David shaking his head saying, “You need to take the Veil away from your eyes away.”

David had by now completely lost it with Ed and said, “Ed your taking in riddles again, I don’t have curtains or veil over my eyes. Ed I just don’t understand you any more”.

A few days later David met a man who told him that Jesus loved him and died for him, and that God wants him to be in heaven one day with him. He told him that God loves him, and that through the cross of Jesus he can have a new life, when he accepts Jesus as his Lord and Saviour. It all made perfect sense to David.

David now goes to church, he is born again, saved, planted, with deep roots, committed, washed in the blood, he takes his daily bread in the morning, the Veil from his eyes has been removed, he at times talks in an other language, he is on fire for God and goes around telling people that God really moves. The strange thing is when he is talking to his all friends about Jesus; some of his friends just have not a clue what he is saying or what he means.

I loved the way Jesus says things in a simple way that every one could understand, that God loves them.

Responses

I can relate to this one. In the christian circles that most of my friends are in, the one phrase that kinda drives me nuts sometimes, and bare with me, is “armour barer” (sp?). Whenever someone is introduced to me by someone as their armor bearer, it just drives me nuts. Partially because their armor bearers duties usually has less to do with the concept of the “armour of Christ” or what an armour bearer duties were in the old testiment. Maybe they got it confused with “cup barer” or something. Anyway, I enjoyed your post!