I still cannot get over the fact that she gurns throughout every movie, affecting a lock-jaw-like expression that makes her chin epically stick out: I wait with baited breath at the possibility of her and Daniel Craig having some kind of grotesque face-off in some near-future movie.

I amused her for perhaps twenty minutes with a scattering of urbane bons mots, then retired to the lavatory where I discovered that the pen had leaked and that my lips, tongue, teeth, and gurns were now a striking, scrubresistant navy blue, and would remain so for several days.