It's the thin line between reality and fantasy. It's the thin line between sanity and madness. It's the crazy things that make us think, laugh and scream in the dark.

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It is too damn hot. I swear this ceremonial helmet thing is boiling my brain. I can feel it turning to goo. God, now my nose itches. Would anyone notice if I gave it a quick scratch? Oh, who am I kidding, it’ll end up on YouTube. And the next kid that comes up to me and puts sticky fingers all over my boots will find out if there are bullets in this gun. I cannot fathom why I chose this as a career. If anyone had told me three years ago that for eight hours a day I’d let pigeons poop all over me, I’d have laughed.

During my time in England, I spent some time in London, and went to Trafalgar Square. There, I fed the pigeons — rats with wings, really — and they landed all over me. This is a thing we tourists do, apparently. I’ll have to see if I can find a photo.
Thanks for the chuckles, darling.