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Monday, May 21, 2012

Life goes on

So guess what. Apparently life goes on even when it feels like yours has been momentarily (for the millionth time) put on pause. The good news is that this prevents me from holing myself up in the house and eating my weight in chocolate each time we find out we aren't pregnant. (But if we're being honest, that becomes more and more tempting each time it happens.)

Anyway, here are a few updates/tidbits for you:

1. We had our follow-up consultation with Dr. H on Wednesday. He said that our last IUI cycle looked "perfect on paper," and that he couldn't pinpoint anything that had gone wrong. Unfortunately, when the success rate for a treatment is 30%, that means that there is a 70% chance that it won't work, and as the odds would suggest, we fell into the 70% rather than the 30% this time.

He is still confident that we WILL get pregnant, but just says it's a matter of how we'll get there. Although I desperately wanted him to tell us what to do next, he has left the ball in our court. We can either give another IUI a try, or move onto IVF. In honor of keeping it real, here are a few very basic statistics for you:

IUI
Estimated success rate: 30%
Estimated cost: $4,000

IVF
Estimated success rate: 75%
Estimated cost: $14,000

I guess it shouldn't be so surprising that a 45% increase in the success rate should come with such a high price tag, but still. Wow.

He put me on birth control and said that if we want to try to do an IUI again, then I can start after a week. If we want to do IVF, I can start after two weeks.

So basically we were given a week (although realistically we can take as long as we want) to come up with a decision. There are a lot of factors to consider other than just the statistics/costs, so we are discussing and more importantly praying for God's discernment in what to do next. Feel free to weigh in (unless you are going to tell me to just relax or go ahead and adopt, that is).

3. Speaking of birthday gifts, my pal, Chrissy, made me a pretty sweet mix cd as an early birthday gift, and there is one song in particular that I have been listening to on repeat just like I used to do with "Push" when I got the Matchbox 20 cd the summer after 8th grade. Unlike "Push," however, this song deals with desperation in a slightly more constructive manner.

The song is "Without You" by Shane and Shane. I have had bad luck with embedding links recently, so hopefully it will work if you just click here. Thanks, Chrissy, for introducing me to this one!

Here I am, calling out 'Father'Can you hear me? Can you hear me?I don't want to go without YouHere I am, can You talk a little louder?So I can hear you, I want to hear You,I don't want to move without You

4. Lastly, Allison sent me a pair of earrings in the mail earlier this week that she had won in a blog giveaway to cheer me up. I cried. There isn't much point to this story other than to (a) remind you how thoughtful my sissy is, and (b) illustrate how emotionally unstable I have become.

Glad we got to talk last Friday. If you ever have more questions about IVF just holler at me, seriously. While the price tag is high the increased success rate was worth it for us (and other reasons too but that was the big one). You will know what feels right.

I hate that trying to have a family has to be full of struggles for so many people. Honestly, the majority (no lie) of my friends, myself included don't have it easy...I can honestly think of a small few that have had no problems. Those four words your doctor spoke are amazing. Even though they don't seem like it.

Good luck on deciding which path to choose.

I know that "my friend" comments aren't that helpful...but my Family Planning Problems and yours aren't really related. Ha! But I'm so thankful for these two interventions because:

I just recently found out my cousin's IUI was successful on round two.

And, have twin nephews who are Carter's BFF that are IVF "encouraged" (you know God still really does all the work)!! And I THANK GOD for these doctors!! They've changed our lives too!

Love the previous commenter who called it "ivf encouraged", instead of hearing "ivf miracle" again - it really is God's handiwork!

If I were you, I would go for the IVF and here's why: even if you DO get pregnant on your next IUI, you would have to go through all of this again probably to have another baby. If you do IVF, you could have some frozen embies for your future kiddos. So, in the long run, IVF could possibly be cheaper (IF you would like more babies in the future and IF you have extras to freeze).

If you do IUI once or twice more to have a baby now and then need it a few times for another baby down the road, that'll end up costing more than going for the big guns right now.

IUI's run around $1500 at my clinic (OOP), I'm shocked that yours are so pricey. Other options you could consider are mini ivf (they run about $5000 and have a lot less stimming) and I even recently read about a new IUI procedure that involved pushing the sperm into your tubes and that increases success rates dramatically.

I stumbled upon your blog frequently and absolutely love your sense of humor. I have recently suffered 3 miscarriages and totally related to your view point. Thanks for not making me feel so alone. You will make an amazing mommy and I know God will help you make the next decision.