Since moving into my apartment, I’ve been trying to plan my meals ahead of time. In September I made a menu where I wrote out different dinner ideas for the week. I chose to do meals that could easily be alternated with one another because I know that there are days when I just don’t feel like eating certain things. I’ve only been doing this with my dinners so far because honestly I tend to do whatever during lunch. Usually I just make a sandwich or something simple.

So far I’ve made chicken stir fry, homemade pizzas, roast, turkey…just things like that. Unfortunately beef has been really expensive recently…and I’m on a tight budget. Today I’m going to have hamburgers. They’re kind of my back up foods…stuff that I can cook right away or heat up are for my busier days. That way when I get home after a long day I’m not tempted to order in.

Since Canadian Thanksgiving is this weekend I didn’t bother picking up a ton of groceries. If I’m lucky there will be some leftovers for me to take back on Sunday. Before I go back to school my parents usually prepare a bunch of chilli, curried chicken and stuff like that and then I freeze it. It usually lasts me a little more than a semester. Unfortunately they forgot…and I forgot. So I don’t get to eat any of my Mom’s awesome chilli or curry until I go home for reading break. It’s a bummer. It picks up my spirits whenever I eat a nice home cooked meal prepared by my folks. My Dad’s the best cook though. He used to run a restaurant when I was really young but had to give it up cause he was working there, the hospital, going to night school and had three kids, two of which were between ages 0-2. I don’t know how he managed to do all of that. He’s a hardworking guy. I’m honestly really proud of him and my mom. They go way out of their way to help me out sometimes. I’d be lost without them. Sometimes when I’m cooking and I forget how to prepare something or I’m having oven anxiety…it’s a long story…then I call them up and annoy them. I feel like I’m probably the neediest kid. My siblings call me a suck up. It’s true, I’ll admit it. I kiss butt big time, but everything I say is genuine. I just feel like a good way to show people you care about them and appreciate them is by complimenting them and saying thank you. Everyone wants to hear something nice once in a while. Or at least I do….

Anyway, my original goal when creating this menu was to try to improve my diet and stop eating out as much. So far it is working. Yes, I have ordered the odd pizza here and there but not every single week. Now I just need to implement the exercise half.

See, over the summer I tried to work out three to five times a week, even if I could only do like 10-30 minutes. I managed to gain a lot of upper body strength, and was able to take off some weight. I was also taking lunches into work. I want to be in good shape again. My last three years of university I was stressed out over several different things, and last year…was a mess. I want my final year of my undergraduate to go smoothly, and I feel like the best way to get myself started is by getting my body back into shape. Whenever I talk about exercising with my friends they give me weird looks. I’m a normal weight for my height and age so they just assume because I look a certain way that I don’t need to work out. For me it isn’t just about losing weight. It’s about being strong and healthy both physically and mentally. Back when I was playing soccer my head was clear, I was fit and strong and felt like I could do anything. I was never afraid I might, “hurt” myself when climbing trees or goofing off with my buds (you can laugh at the Canadian now). In April I never would’ve attempted to lift heavy stones or carry anything that looked like it could crush me. Since I’ve been doing my own little training, strengthening my arms and what not, I just pick stuff up. It doesn’t even bother me. I’m not longer afraid to give piggy backs to the kids I work with because I’m afraid I’ll drop them after a minute. I was back to having piggy back races, lugging around sleepy kindergarteners after recess and helping my Dad lay down stone in the yard. I’m feeling stronger and stronger every day. I want to continue to grow stronger, in every area of my life.

Anyway, I’m going to go start making my hamburgers. I think I’m going to cook an extra one because then I’ll have something for tomorrow or Wednesday’s lunch. I’m pretty hungry. I skipped out on lunch today because I…I just had a rough start today. Cut my entire leg up…went to the wrong location for my lab…found a dead bird…. Then my sister’s friend got me Starbucks. That was awesome of her. She barely even knows me. So now my days getting a little less…bleh and more woo! I describe…things weird sometimes. I promise, I don’t write “The sky was bleh but she felt woo!” in my novels. If I did that make for a pretty interesting read.

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It’s been awhile since my last post. I just finished my first week at my new job. I’m enjoying it so far. I’m doing what I’m going to school for, so it’s perfect for me.

I’ve made a lot of friends at work already.

Book wise, the children’s book is coming along very well. I’m hoping to reach the deadline. As for my novel the editing process is still going as smoothly as it possibly can, now that I’m working fulltime. I actually have two jobs…so trying to balance my week job, my weekend job and my non-work related life is going to be a bit of a challenge. I’m not used to waking up at 6 am for work everyday. Right now I’m pretty tired. I know that by next week my body will have adjusted to the new schedule.

On top of all the work I’m doing I’m trying to tone my muscles up. I’ve managed to take off all that stress weight I gained during that train wreck of a year I had back in 2016. I’m feeling energized again and my confidence is finally coming back. I feel mentally and physically stronger. I’ve been trying to build on my upper body strength as well. I’m lacking in that department. I’ve never really been into any sports that require a tone of upper body strength, so I suppose I never really thought that I needed to work those areas. Now I’m doing my best to try to get some exercise in at least once a day, no matter how tired I am. Even if the exercise is simplistic, I want to keep moving so that I can be at my very best. When I physically feel good, all of my creative work is reflective of that.

Anyway, although it is late, I need to get something into my belly. I didn’t have dinner earlier…wasn’t hungry. I really need to stop doing that.

Till next time,

–R.

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I’ve recently been trying to get back into shape. My backs been pretty sore from the types of exercises I was doing…or from the move I’m not sure. I just wish I had more will power when it came to sweets.

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I’ve realized today that I need to stop spending money. Before my sister moved in with me, I rarely ever went out so I didn’t spend any money unless I needed to buy groceries. Now that she’s living with me I’m ordering food all of the time (which I never did on my own), and I’m going all over the place. My 21st birthday was on Sunday, so I just got some money…and I won’t be working till May. I’m still here for another month and need to buy groceries. Sadly, I don’t want to use my birthday money for groceries because I’m saving that for a weekend trip I have coming up.

I’m usually really good with my money. I’ve never been a big spender…but then suddenly this year I’m always buying food. I don’t know if my spending is entirely linked to my sister moving in, because both of us had a very stressful year. Perhaps I spent more because I was going out to distract myself?

My sister pointed out to me that I should carry my notebooks and binders around with me everywhere like I used to, so I can work on my novels all the time. I wouldn’t mind doing that, except that I wouldn’t want people looking over my shoulder to see what it is I’m working on…and also, I get extremely paranoid when it comes to my binders and sketchbooks. I have to know where they are…and that they’re safe. If I plan on being away for more than a few days, I pack them in my luggage. I don’t know when I became so attached to them. It’s like they’ve become an extension of me. I used to be like this with my old teddy bear…so perhaps I’m just one of those people? I wonder if my future spouse will find this weird….I know my parents do.

I think that my sister understands it a little better. She’s an artist. We’ve been editing her latest work recently. She makes comics. They’re honestly really good. We’re both very critical of each others work (she’s harsher than I am), so having each other edit the first draft is always good. Her stories are funny. She used to share them with her class. Actually she’s won two awards now for her work. Lucky duck. She used to have her friends circle around her while they read her comics and they’d always go “Any updates yet!?” I’m still trying to convince her to share some of her work online. We’ll see. Maybe once she’s finished with her exams. She’s an artist, an athletic and a bio-chem major. Weird combination, I know. We’re both kind of like that though…except I’m not so good at math or science. I read. I’m really good at history…in the sense that I can remember random facts off the top of my head. Whenever I had to write papers for my classes back in high school I’d be told they sounded like stories or poems…which I can’t deny. I’m a creative writer first. Essays I do because I’m asked, not because I enjoy them.

Well, this is all for now. I’m working on my writing schedule, which I’m going to double as an exercise schedule as well. I just want to get into shape before I start working. The weathers just been really cold…I like to exercise outdoors. Especially since the trail is near the river. The scenery is perfect.

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I managed to get in a little editing the other night. Was up past midnight typing. It was fun. I wish I’d done some more today, but instead I decided to be lazy and lay about. I did do some reading, but it wasn’t exactly productive, as it wasn’t for school. At least I enjoyed myself. I cooked up a steak for dinner tonight. Had a nice salad with it. I’m trying to eat better. More preparing meals at home, and less ordering pizza. Hopefully I’ll hit the gym more often as well. I think my laziness is linked to some other things…and not being as active as I used to be is probably contributing to it.

Well, the editing is really coming along. I’m pleased with it so far, though I wish I would do larger chunks of it…increase my one or two chapters a day to four or five. I type and read quite fast, so if I really wanted I could finish transferring it all in a couple of days. Thing is I’ve been feeling a big sluggish so I’m taking my precious time. I don’t know, maybe this is just a temporary thing? I feel a bit lazy now but I’ll be energetic and ready to work in a couple of days.

Anyway, I’m going to start settling down for the night. Seems, my sleep schedule is slightly back on track. No more staying up till three in the morning. I’ll try to get some more editing in tomorrow evening. I’ve got to get strict with myself again before more school assignments pop up.

Good morning, for some reason I’m up a lot earlier than expected…but I usually don’t sleep for very long. I should try harder to resist afternoon naps. They completely through off my schedule, and make me feel as though I’ve wasted my day…much like sleeping in.

I’m going to do a bit of light exercise this morning, since I’ve been slacking in that department lately. Then I’ll do some work on my novel and of course homework that I’ve put off far too long. I at least need to get some ideas down on paper. My schedule’s been pretty busy this weekend. I’ve had events since Friday evening, and after today it will be the end of that. I’m expecting it to go well today. Friday was…stressful.

I’m still trying to convince my younger sister to create a blog on wordpress.com for her art. She’s two won awards in the graphic narrative section of a yearly literary competition that is held for students in our hometown. She is her own worst critic however, so I believe this is what’s taking her so long.

I understand though. When it comes to my writing I am often reluctant to share it with my family and friends because I’m worried they’re judge me. Especially when it comes to my lyrics and poetry. A lot of the time my poems and songs are centered around characters I’ve created for stories I’m working on, so the themes behind them have a huge contrast. My creative writing professor last year was surprised when I shared a happy story that used warm imagery because all of my other work that I’d presented in class had a tendency to be very cold and depressing.

Speaking of cold, I think I’ll do my exercise in doors today. Burr…I’m shivering as it is. I like winter time but I don’t wanna be in the cold long if I don’t have too. I really love getting in a good work out early in the morning. Helps to lose all the stress from the day before. I always feel really pumped afterwards.

So, the other day I managed to conclude a very climatic scene within my novel. I haven’t actually reached the official climax point, but in another chapter or two I should be there. I’m so happy that I’ve managed to keep up with my goal as well as get one out of five essays done (the one due for this week). One thing at a time.

Unfortunately due to events I haven’t been able to work on my other novel, which is sort of something I’m doing on the side. I’ll probably work on it more once I’ve finished this one. The thing is though, that for that novel I get my best inspiration around October, as that’s the month in which the majority of the novel takes place.

The novel I’m currently writing takes place in the winter time, so this is perfect. Also, I expect it to be slightly longer than the other, simply because I is more of a…series I suppose. The first book in the series is almost complete, but there are more to come. I’m just keeping it all in one place to make my life easier.

Since I’ll be on winter break after exams, I might also gain some inspiration for other books I’ve been itching to work on. Seriously, I have binders and files filled with things I have to write…even just random pieces of paper scattered between my apartment and my parents place. All of this is stuff that I’ve collected from God knows when…but probably since the 6th grade, since that’s when I was writing films, plays and television skits. I’m one of those people who gets a lot of ideas…I spend most of my time up in my head than I do in the present, but I don’t believe its effected me negatively, since the result of that all of these stories, drawings and other things that I do.

Now if only I could work out as often as I write. I’d be a tank. Oh well, baby steps. I think I’ve lost a bit of weight.

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I may possibly take a break from everything depending on my mood, and the level of stress I have over the next little while. I’m feeling a little down…that’s an understatement…but it doesn’t matter. Anyway, to avoid depressing all of my readers, I think it would be best if I just took a couple of days to cheer up. I’m going to go for a run or something today to clear my head. I need the exercise…I need the clear head.

I wish I wasn’t behind in my readings for class. After Saturday I think I only got two of my readings done out of seven. No…I did three. I just couldn’t focus, which is funny because now I feel like getting swallowed up by the pages of a good book. My mind is the best place to hide…and the words make good hiding places.

I’ve tried drawing, writing…and I just feel empty. I’ll keep pushing myself. I’ll be able to do it. I guess I’m afraid of being lost in my own thoughts right now.

Well, I’m up so I thought I’d do a little research, drink some lemonade and let my thoughts run wild (as they do constantly).

I keep debating on whether or not now is a good time to work on one of my two novels (one is in a binder and one is on my laptop) but I’m worried once I start, my mind will become more active than it is now and I’ll have trouble getting back to sleep. What’s worse is that I’m craving a popsicle and I’m trying to lose weight. Midnight snacking is probably the worst thing I can do to myself right now…but I really want it. They’re just sitting in my freezer, waiting….

Anyway, to avoid indulging in sweets and letting my hour run the other day completely go to waste, I should probably try to fall asleep again. At least staring at the screen and colouring with my Crayola markers helped me relax my thoughts a little. Perhaps thoughts are like dogs…they get really hyper when they hear somebody coming to the door, or when they hear words like walk, and so they suddenly are jumping all over you and running around trying to get your attention. That is exactly how thoughts are…at least mine. They’re like “Did someone say walk? Walk reminds me of outside, which reminds me the weather is really nice today. Did you notice the way the sun was just sitting on the lake this morning? Ooh! That would be fun to write about! Oh did someone say pizza? I want pizza! Pizza tastes sooooo yummy! Like…pizza,” and they don’t stop until you offer them a nice old belly rub or a scratch behind the ears.

I’m going to do my best to fall asleep again. I promised myself I’d only exercise and study these next two days. Plus I need to eventually pick up some birthday gifts…if I end up working on my novels or doing concept art or storyboarding I’ll end up doing that for more than half the day and I won’t end up getting done what needs to be done. I just get really immersed in my work…and get lost in La La Land as my grade one teacher called it.

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I’m actually going out for a run today. The weathers beautiful. I can’t pass up this chance. Plus with all these essays and presentations and so forth, a run will definitely clear my mind and get me thinking.