55. Going to the gynecologist and mistakenly asking her to insert an IED instead of an IUD.

54. Not e-mailing this list to ten other people within ten minutes of the moment you finish reading it. If you do you will have da fame and fortune and all your wishes will come true and you'll see an animation starring the Taco Bell dog.

11. being gay, in a world full of straight people not being accepted causing you to assassinate everyone in your town screaming "whose the faggots now bitches!!" then you move to Pakistan and meet a guy named Shithead losing your virginity to Osama Bin Ladin then falling into a bottomless pit.

1.Driving a burning car into a burning building where they store chainsaws and acid and then the firemen come but they're actually alligators in acid proof fireman disguises and they spray you with vinegar, lemon juice, and salt and swallow you whole and inside the alligator's stomach is this little guy who says, "This is my home get the hell out!" and he shoots you with a shotgun full of nails and sics his pet badger on you and saws your leg off and he kicks you out and you get a staph infection in the alligator's colon and you're pooped out into the sewer where you drown in filth and the city power main breaks and lands in your eye electrocuting you and your spleen explodes and you find out you have AIDS and a Ninja Turtle fucks you to death and now he has AIDS and you're covered in radioactive ooze and your ass becomes a mutant crab that starts pinching your ass and a hobo steals your skin and they take you to the morgue and freeze you to death and the coroner is that damn Ninja Turtle who fucks you to death again and gives you gonorrhea and a spider lays eggs in your hair and they bury you alive and you suffocate and the bottom falls out of your grave and you fall into a bottomless pit and you go to Hell where you stupidly ask Satan why this was number one and get sent to Super Hell for asking such a question and then a black guy jizzes all over your face and you think its cum but its really hot magma mixed with coal and sulfur and your soul melts down and your liquified body falls into a cannon and the cannon shoots you to the sun and you are burned down to ashes and your ashes are burned down to helium and then your helium burned down to hydrogen and your hydrogen burned down to nothingness and you were reincarnated as a grasshopper and got squashed by a 5 mile long and 4.7 mile wide asteroid which is made of pure feces launched by the orbital cow shit launcher.