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Monday, November 19, 2007

Addicted to the Law & Order franchise? Take my test

You watch a lot of Law & Order, SVU, and CI. A lot. How do you know when you're addicted and you’re a serious Law & Order junkie? Take my test and find out. Keep count of the number to which you can relate, and find your score at the end.

1. You can recite the intro from memory for every show in the Law & Order Franchise

2. You’re upset that they changed the intro music on Criminal Intent from a hard rockin’ sound to something more orchestral.

3. You’ve seen every episode more than once. OK, more than twice. More than three times…you get the picture.

4. You know how the repeat episode is going to end after watching only the first few minutes of the show, but you watch it anyway to the bitter end.

5. You are glued to TNT in the afternoon, and in the evenings. You record even the episodes that they show in the wee hours of the morning. You catch every new episode on NBC and USA, of course.

6. You’ve got names for each one of the shows in the franchise, like “the mothership” or “original recipe” for Law & Order; “SUV” for SVU; and “L&O extra crispy” for CI.

7. You have a hard time watching “Aftershock” because you know what’s going to happen at the end, and started watching “Crossing Jordan” so it would seem that Claire was not really dead after all.

8. You were upset when Jerry Orbach died.

9. You’re excited when you have to serve on jury duty. Then you annoy the rest of the jury because, since you watch L&O, you have all this legal expertise.

10. You find yourself talking back to the television, giving Jack McCoy (Sam Waterson) or Casey Novak (Diane Neal) legal advice. (You usually shout more at Casey than at Jack, by the way.)

11. You can identify all the “repeat offenders” (actors who have starred on other roles on any of the L&O franchise), even when they show up on other non-L&O shows. (Ritchie Coster really gets around in the L&O Universe.) Sometimes you’re incredulous that, for example, Bobby Goren (Vincent D’Onofrio) doesn’t recognize one of his criminals as someone who played an attorney in a L&O episode.

12. You look forward to episodes with repeat appearances from people like Danielle Melnick (Tovah Feldshuh), Randy Dworkin (Peter Jacobson), and Shambala Green (Lorraine Toussaint) because you know there will be fireworks or an outrageous defense.

13. You frequent all the message boards and forums to talk about and rate each episode after it’s over.

14. Your bracelet, “WWJD” stands for “What Would Jack Do?”

15. You frequently say along with, what Dann Florek called “The Doink-Doink” (some call it the “chung-chung), when scenes change.

16. You’re crazed if you miss a new episode because your DVR didn’t work, you forgot to program the show, you had a power failure, etc.

17. You feel happy, yet someone odd, when something personal about a L&O character creeps into the show, because you’re really not supposed to know them.

18. The phrase “Is this because I’m a lesbian?” has crept into your life as an excuse for everything, and you’re not even a lesbian.

19. You read the paper and pick out stories that you know will become “ripped from the headlines” episodes.

20. Characters from the Law & Order universe appear in your dreams.

How did you score?0-5: You’re dead or you don’t own a television6-10: You watch the show occasionally, or not all shows in the franchise11-15: You’re developing a problem16-18: Addicted, a junkie19-20: Get a life!

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