I decided to set up a feminist society at my school, which has previously been named one of "the best schools in the country", to try to tackle these issues. However, this was more difficult than I imagined as my all-girls school was hesitant to allow the society. After a year-long struggle, the feminist society was finally ratified.

What I hadn’t anticipated on setting up the feminist society was a massive backlash from the boys in my wider peer circle. They took to Twitter and started a campaign of abuse against me. I was called a "feminist bitch", accused of "feeding [girls] bullshit", and in a particularly racist comment was told "all this feminism bull won’t stop uncle Sanjit from marrying you when you leave school".

Our feminist society was derided with retorts such as, "FemSoc, is that for real? #DPMO" [don’t piss me off] and every attempt we made to start a serious debate was met with responses such as "feminism and rape are both ridiculously tiring".

If it’s so tiring, why is the sap behind that comment making the effort to respond?

OK, that’s just dumb people being mocking and dismissive. But then it took the usual turn, and the boys started judging everything on the young women’s sexual potential.

The situation recently reached a crescendo when our feminist society decided to take part in a national project called Who Needs Feminism. We took photos of girls standing with a whiteboard on which they completed the sentence “I need feminism because…”, often delving into painful personal experiences to articulate why feminism was important to them.

We were told that our “militant vaginas” were “as dry as the Sahara desert”, girls who complained of sexual objectification in their photos were given ratings out of 10, details of the sex lives of some of the girls were posted beside their photos, and others were sent threatening messages warning them that things would soon “get personal”.

Boys will be boys, right? And adults will be contemptible enablers of vicious behavior. Look how the administrators of the school responded:

We, a group of 16-, 17- and 18-year-old girls, have made ourselves vulnerable by talking about our experiences of sexual and gender oppression only to elicit the wrath of our male peer group. Instead of our school taking action against such intimidating behaviour, it insisted that we remove the pictures. Without the support from our school, girls who had participated in the campaign were isolated, facing a great deal of verbal abuse with the full knowledge that there would be no repercussions for the perpetrators.

Gosh. I guess we can’t sit back and relax, misogyny beheaded and mounted as a trophy on our wall, just yet.

What an utter shame that school officials can’t be bothered to stand behind those girls. What a message… I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that this is still happening, 22 years after I graduated high school. I had hoped it would have worked out better, though, by now.

So…what? Is your sense of self-worth dependent upon having someone around who needs you to do things they can’t do? The idea of people treating each other as equals, and individuals of any gender being capable in their own right, that doesn’t work for you? WTF.

in subverting traditional gender roles and relegating men to mere bit part roles

You’ve got the gist of it, save one nagging detail: this is the type of thing which feminism strives against, not for. In fact, I’m pretty sure feminism does no such thing as it’s concerning the equality status of women. Any type of overarching indictment you wish to make upon it should be taken up with the individuals espousing the views which you object to, not the broader ideology.

A common undertone I see when people try to bring up issues of sexism or racism, in the sad but inevitable backlash, is this idea that we basically have equal rights under the law (in their mind) and you can’t outright refuse to serve or hire black people and women are allowed to go to school and get get jobs if they want – but you can’t make us like you or respect you! Because, honestly, we’re kind of getting to that point. Not a lot of laws to change – though there certainly are some – we’re getting to the point of how you treat people, do you respect them as an equal individual. And to too many of those people, they’ll tolerate the equal rights we’ve managed to win, but no way are they actually going to start respecting women as an equal human person.

While I cannot condone the abuse these young ladies received it would seem to me that feminism – in subverting traditional gender roles and relegating men to mere bit part roles – is always likely to be understood as somewhat hostile and militant by males. Women have the vote and women do better in school etc.

So it seems to you that by identifying as feminist these schoolgirls had it coming? Amirite? Because now women have suffrage everything is just hunky dory.

Feminism – in subverting traditional gender roles and relegating men to mere bit part roles – is always likely to be understood as somewhat hostile and militant by males. Women have the vote and women do better in school etc.

Oh yes, and these straw feminists of yours are actually female supremacists who want men under the thumb. Amirite?

You might be surprised to find out that most women do not desire to ‘wear the pants in a relationship’ (or trousers if you are, like me, in the UK).

(1) Citation required for that claim. Otherwise this sounds like a man-in-a-pub handwaving assertion.

(2) Feminism doesn’t preclude women from choosing a dominant role, only that there be a choice.

why children these days feel it acceptable to post pictures willy-nilly all over the Internet. On Facebook, on Twitter, on Snapchat (which so far as I can tell is simply a medium for sending dirty pictures to other teens!)

Gee, Peterooke sure knows alot about where to find pictures of children.

Reminder: Pete Rooke is an incredibly creepy goddist who went on and on here about how criticizing religion was like someone making a book out of the skin of “a loved one who recently passed away.” He’s unhealthily interested in the length of miniskirts and whether or not they cover the “knee roll.”

I think if I ever hear someone say this non-sarcastically, I can accuse them of supporting delinquency.

peterooke:

I would simply ask you to consider the idea of complementarianism.

You might be surprised to find out that most women do not desire to ‘wear the pants in a relationship’ (or trousers if you are, like me, in the UK).

Riiiiight. Because if the majority of a group prefers a certain thing, the minority has no right to object. Because we’re obligated to treat everyone in a group as having identical preferences by default instead of recognizing human diversity and choice as important factors.

Oh, and who says “wearing the pants” is necessary in a relationship? Not all relationships involve a dominant member. Some of us prefer egalitarian relationships where no one “wears the pants.”

Why? Should children have a choice of their parents’ roles? My child certainly doesn’t. Does yours? If so, that sounds rather creepy.

I’m sorry, but your feigned concern (“Oh, what about the children?”) suggests that non-normative relationships are beyond The Pale, or somehow damaging to the kids. I think you need to demonstrate that this is so.

“I have not personally witnessed the phenomenon you describe, therefore the phenomenon does not exist.”
This is the rationale employed by those that disagree with feminism, making them the creationists of scepticism.

I do believe that serious questions need to be asked about why children these days feel it acceptable to post pictures willy-nilly all over the Internet. On Facebook, on Twitter, on Snapchat (which so far as I can tell is simply a medium for sending dirty pictures to other teens!) … In this I support the school.

I do believe that serious questions need to be asked about why children these days feel it acceptable to post pictures willy-nilly all over the Internet.

I have a question. What’s wrong with that? Why should it not be acceptable? As long as the person in question is not doing something irresponsible or illegal, then what is the problem? Is is that they’re going to face abuse from someone about it? That can happen without pictures. And, of course, it’s victim-blaming.

No, I think you are being unfair. To say they had it coming would seem to suggest that they deserved it. While I think in posting the pictures on Facebook and on other places on the Internet they were always likely to encounter this abusive response (which is why I support the school’s actions in wanting to protect them) I certainly do not believe that they deserved it.

In other words, “They had it coming,” which is rhetorically similar to “they deserved it,” but with less schadenfreude.

What I find interesting is that rather than blame the sexist toads who harass, your approach shifts the blame onto the girls. From our limited acquaintance I would opine that you are less interested in making the world a better place by fighting sexism and harassment and would prefer to keep the feminists in their place.

Instead of a feminist society I would rather they invested their time into something more affirming and constructive. Arts, sports, music, church etc.

Yes, clearly instead of trying to effect positive social change, they should keep their heads down and make pretty pictures* or engage in pointless competition. Remind us again why you should not be in charge of this.

* Not trying to denigrate creative pursuits here, just guessing that the art and music that Rooke would rather girls invest their time in is probably pretty limited in scope.

Holy crap! Pete Rooke is one of my favourite clueless religionists ever! Josh may want him to talk about knee rolls, but I’d rather have him explain again how he would never “inflict” oral sex on a woman!

Considered, and discarded as self-serving bullshit. If complementarian systems did not routinely devalue women to their faces and behind their backs when those women were not asking for rights, I would at least have given it more than 10 seconds of thought, but they did, so complementarianism does not even warrant that much effort. It’s a clear and obvious way to say ‘god/nature meant for you to be oppressed, and to be happy with it, sucks to be you’.

Instead of a feminist society I would rather they invested their time into something more affirming and constructive. Arts, sports, music, church etc

Feminism is affirming and constructive by definition – “You have value as a person, and we need to help make society agree”.

I do tend to believe that heteronormative relationships are best for children and believe the research supports this. Funny that – research telling us what most have always know!

Actually, not only is that untrue, but it’s hilarious that you think ‘research tells us what we always knew’. As a matter of fact, most of the things we ‘already knew’ become less and less true as we examine them scientifically.

The nonsense about children being harmed galls me. The whole idea of gender roles discourages children from exploring various roles and interests they might enjoy or be talented at because they’re “cross-gender” or whatever. It’s not much different than ideas that certain races are “meant” for certain jobs. To me, it’s like listening to a segregation era teacher telling a black student that he shouldn’t pursue his college dreams and settle for blue collar labor.

Treating children like individuals with neural plasticity and unknown potential is best because it lets them freely explore what they’re good at and what they like. This “complementarianism” idea, as I understand it, sets artificial boundaries and makes children with allegedly “cross-gender” skills and interests ashamed of their talents instead of letting them be proudly productive. It values purposeless conformity over individual merit.

Even if these alleged gender affinities exist on a genetic level instead of being cultural, it does no good to act as if there are no exceptions. It’s like a horrible misapplication of statistics, trying to force outlier individuals to conform to one-size-fits-all overall trends instead of accepting and encouraging human variation. It seeks to confine humanity to preconceived, pre-scientific limits instead of removing pointless, self-imposed barriers and finding out what we’re really capable of.

So um, not to prolong that distasteful subject, but what exactly is the “knee roll” in this context? According to the internet, it seems to be either an exercise or a part of a riding saddle. I’m thinking most of the Pete Rooke archives from Crackergate are probably lost to the mists of NatGeo.

Guys like peterooke are literally why we STILL need feminism – supporters of the patriarchy have always tried to dress up their domination in pretty, harmless language. “Traditional gender roles” is no different. It’s just Newspeak for “a woman’s place”.

Rey Fox, it has something to do with a skirt being long enough to cover the “knee roll”. From the same mind that came up with the book of philosophy bound by the skin of a loved one and the gum diseased milkman drinking from the milk bottles.

Guys like peterooke are literally why we STILL need feminism – supporters of the patriarchy have always tried to dress up their domination in pretty, harmless language. “Traditional gender roles” is no different. It’s just Newspeak for “a woman’s place”.

It’s not Newspeak. Complementarianism was the term that 19th century dudes came up with for their totes fair and balanced system.

Creepy Pete wishes girls would play sports instead of engaging in feminism, but is seemingly oblivious to the fact that without feminism, there would be very few sports for girls to play. Why does this not surprise me.

Sorry gravityisjustatheory but I have heard “boys will be boys” being used to justify teasing, bullying and physical attacks for decades. (Just for your point of reference, I am from the state of Illinois, the midwest of the US.)

Sorry gravityisjustatheory but I have heard “boys will be boys” being used to justify teasing, bullying and physical attacks for decades.

In my very limited social circle in a more liberal part of the country, the phrase is used rarely but when it is, it is usually with bitter irony, most likely as an allusion to the usage you refer to. “Boys will be boys” seems to just an indirect way to say “kids can be so cruel”, a way to gently imply that the children and adolescents in question are raging douchebags.

I usually only see PeteRooks blather once it’s been disemvowled, and as he’s such an ass I don’t bother trying to manually re-insert vowels.

Re: the OP : Apparently I am not a TruSkeptik or I would realize that we have long since transitioned beyond racism and sexism and become Truely Post-Racist, Post-Sexist. So it’s all right for me to casually refer to non-whites by racial slurs and call women “sluts” and “bitches”.
Uh huh. Right. Gotcha. Just like a TruSkeptik knows Global Warming is nonsense.

Instead of a feminist society I would rather they invested their time into something more affirming and constructive. Arts, sports, music, church etc.

Oi missed that, thankee Miss Enemy.

But church is not constructive izzeet? Innit ?

(Y’all, I tend to see blog-convos as like plays, innit; except, the moving finger, having writ, is really gone.. ).Bless thee mine sistren, mine brethren. I’m really pissed, completly rat-arsed, on the good pink rosé of le pays d’Oc. It’s not an excuse, it’s falling off the the er, er, deux-chevaux.

Less trivial point: since I’ve not seen anyone comment on it, I’m assuming nobody’s seen it. The school have posted a response:

“Altrincham Grammar School for Girls has supported Jinan in setting up the society, providing administrative assistance, guidance and proactively suggesting opportunities to help members to explore this issue which they feel passionately about.

“We are committed to protecting the safety and welfare of our students, which extends to their safety online. We consider very carefully any societies that the school gives its name and support to.

“As such, we will take steps to recommend students remove words or images that they place online that could compromise their safety or that of other students at the school.” (my emphasis)

So as far as the school’s concerned, posting a photo of yourself with a placard saying why you need feminism “could compromise” your or another’s safety, and they “recommend” you don’t do that. They probably “recommend” you don’t wear a short skirt, too, because hey, asking for it, right?

To paraphrase Arthur Dent – I wish I had a daughter, so I could forbid her from going to that school.

Complementarianism sounds an awful lot like the gender-equivalent of “separate, but equal”, but fine, let’s consider it for a moment:
Simple fact is that, beyond a few obvious biological functions, women can do anything that men can do and vice versa. There’s not even strong tendencies in any particular direction. Even in those cases where we find tendencies, they’re usually mild with a huge zone of overlap, to the point where gender becomes essentially useless as a predictor of ability.

If you have to consider two people for a position, their gender will tell you exactly nothing about which one would do the best job. Individual variation far outweighs variation between genders, so there’s no (rational) reason to consider anything other than individual ability. Gender simply isn’t a reliable indicator of jack shit.

There is however a huge cultural influence, which massively affects how people of different genders act and are treated. This has been well established, along with the fact that such influences can be reversed if we work at it. Such reversible, cultural influences obviously are not arguments for essential, biological differences and are in fact a big part of what feminism is all about.

The idea that men and women fit different roles might sound appealing if you don’t think about it too much, but it’s just not supported by the facts. That’s not how reality works. Time and again people have made claims about essential qualities of gender, and time and again, they’ve been debunked. I think we’re at the point where the burden of proof is clearly on the person claiming an essential difference. Pony up some hard evidence or shut the fuck up.