Old Irish Bed & Breakfast

THANK YOU TO OUR GUESTS FOR THE HUNDREDS OF 5 ***** REVIEWS, sure the hell wasn't because of the good looks of the Innkeeper, the Chief Leprechaun in Charge!

The Old Irish Bed and Breakfast - Wedding & Events Center @ Patrick's Pastures Alpaca Ranch in Denton, Texas - now that's a mouthful. We are different and not like the same old stuffy high-tea B&Bs with rooms full of antiques, (yeah we have a few, hell, the Innkeepers are antiques). We are more like being in an Irish Pub on St. Paddy's day with a group of fun people. If you have ever been to the famous 'Dick's Last Resort'and liked it; well we're your place!

We are crazy as hell...No snootiness here at all, just f-u-u-u-n people. Only a continuous injection of humor and laughter (sometimes off-color, but never outrageous) which removes the stress of society while allowing you to relax and enjoy the pleasures of the mind and body alike. Imagine leprechauns, unicorns and Celtic fairies in a land of enchantment, the beauty of nature mixed with Irish Charm. Our chief leprechaun, a wizard of sorts, will keep you laughing as long as you will listen. Of course, there's also plenty of private time (we understand why you have come here...hehehe)for you and your sweetie.

We designed this eclectic and green-friendly (environmentally) place with privacy and romance and intacmacy in mind. We're a silver-level eco-friend winner on TripAdvisor. Equally, we envisioned a special place for sensual singles to get away and get acquainted and create their own fantastic memories. Our essence is designed to make your time here uniquely yours, totally private while etching memories that will last a lifetime.

A working ranch - alpacas, llamas, ducks, geese, chickens, dogs, frogs, turtles, fish, hell - you name we probably have it (even unicorns and they are all horney too...after the consumption of enough Irish Whiskey). But none of the barnyard smells. If you're looking for pristine, manicured lawn kind of place, UNT has some...just a few mile West of here. We're just a crazy place where you can hang it out and experience your own Green Acres (minus Eddie Arnold and Ava). We have an Irish Pub and beer garden—bring your own. Along with the laughter and good times, we provide a few amenities and bunches of Irish luck (who knows you may get lucky!). When you're not getting lucky, here are some ideas of things to do here:

go to the Denton Square and visit the various restaurants, bars, live theater, ghost tours and music venues

For those wanting a little more privacy there's over 10 miles of nature trails right out our back door along the banks of the Trinity River.

If you like auto racing, Texas Motor Speedway is about 20 minutes away

Gambling is about 30 minutes north at WinStar Casino - which also features Vegas-style entertainment

Watersports - boating, skiing, etc - are available at any of 3 lakes ranging in distance from 3 to 30 miles away.

Like college sports? University of North Texas is 15 minutes away, TCU and SMU are 30 miles away.

How about pro sports? The world-renowned Dallas Cowboys, Texas Rangers, Dallas Mavericks, Dallas Stars and FC Dallas are all within about 40 minutes

Is history your bag? How about the old west at the Ft. Worth Stockyards, the George W Bush library, the 6th Floor Museum (at the site of the assassination of JFK) are all an easy drive away.

See the "Area" tab for lots more to do.

We also have our own catch-and-release fishing ponds, so bring your own poles. There's even a floating dock for catching a few sun rays...watch that 100% tan, watching a romantic sunset, or gazing at the stars or to watch the stars with a glass of your wine.

Now, where in the hell can you find ALL THIS in one of those stuffy B&Bs?

Lose the stress, reconnect, laugh at our corny Irish jokes as bad as they may be; a bit tarnished but never filthy, typical Irish humor to make you laugh. If you can't laugh, we're not the place for you.Sourpusses can go elsewhere; we'll even provide directions. Be sure to pack light, it may be a warm trip (LOL...a bit of Irish humor). WARNING: hypocrites, judgmental types, far-left or far-right super opinionated people, up-tight outta sight, frowny faces, blue-spoon, silk stocking, fru-fru types run away, quickly, please. Now that we've cleared those folks out...the fun people are left. Par-ty, par-ty. Or private party, if you'd rather.

Our guest reviews across over a dozen rating sites tell the story!We be a wee bit fancy (that means do not expect the Ritz) but a whole lot of fun and a barrel of laughs!

Fragile, shy, easily embarresed or inhibited personalities? This could be more than you could handle. We welcome saints and sinners (sinners have more fun).

We don't care if you're liberal, conservative, married, single, saint or sinner as long as you have a good time - laugh, smile and create memories. If nudity offends you, beware, all of our animals are naked, buck naked!

If you're puckered up, snarly, snobbish, or prickly we could tell you where to go but you've probably already figured out where we would send you...it's about 1,000 miles north and called Hell, Michigan. It's even been known to freeze over many times each year.

Romantic Cottages with rockers, couches, loungers and soft, cushy chairs on the porches...hmmm...sounds inviting already. 'Tiny Houses' some might say; a pinch of Ole Ireland, right here in the Lone Star State. And damn good mattresses to go with it.

We're proud to be members of the Arbor Day Foundation! We are planting over 100 trees this year alone!

Our cottages are decorated with re-purposed period furnishings, even the cottages themselves are built from eco-friendly materials. Our breakfasts are amazing; the animals are special and very friendly, and so very cute.

We have been awarded Trip Advisor's 2017 Certificate of Excellence - the 5th year in a row we've received this. And a 3-time Best of Denton winner! But what's most important is to make sure you have a fine time.

The Innkeepers and staff are crazy and do their best to make you smile and laugh and if you don't they're offended...please don't irritate the unicorn-riding leprechauns...they have a very bad attitude, we don't need yours.

NEW...we like being the HOME BASE CAMP for the wedding family...meansthat we become the place where everyone stays, relaxes and parties...or goes instead of meeting in a hotel lobby or someones house...have your expensive & pain in the ass wedding somewhere else...party here with us!

Weddings...a few for nice folks only...small & simple weddings of Events...give us a call...lets chat about what you want to do...we are very accommodating....and cheap too😆

DO NOT SEND TEXTS or EMAILS ASKING FOR PRICES...WE DO EVERYTHING CUSTOM AND ARE GENERALLY 25% OF THE COST OF OTHER VENUES...BRING YOUR OWN FOOD AND DRINKS...take the demanding attitudes where they charge you a fortune to put up with it...only fun and happy here😃😄😆😉😊😚😗🙂

Check out Jim's podcast, "Men in the Middle". He and Steve Putney share insightful commentary from the middle.