My excitement about our upcoming move really took a backseat this week as some personal problems in my family left me feeling really depressed and even guilty.

See, one of my major flaws is my battle with grey. I love categories: thinking and living in terms of black and white; one or the other. I absolutely hate grey. So in situations like this, I feel guilty about being happy after thinking about the suffering that other people have to go through — How can I be happy when there’s so much pain in the world, so many hurting people?

I’ve been trying to seek God’s truth on that. Maybe Romans 12:15? I’m still studying so I don’t have an answer yet. (If you’ve wrestled with this and have some insight to share I would REALLY appreciate it. Write me personally (morgan@morganlovestoreid.com), or share in the comments if you like 🙂

But for now, I’m focusing on what I know to be true: God is a good Father who gives good gifts to His children – for them to enjoy and worship Him with thanks.

But it doesn’t stop there. God’s the Great Leveler. He calls us to be levelers too:

[Photo Credit: James Tissot]

Leviticus 19:9 “When you reap to the very edges of your field or gather the gleanings of your harvest . . . Leave them for the poor and the alien.”

You might recall this practice from the book of Ruth. (If you don’t, check it out! 4 short chapters of an awesome love story!) I find it cool that not only did God provide an opportunity for those with “more” to be generous, but also for those with “less” to still work for their needs. (Work isn’t bad. Work is Pre-Fall. And I think it helps give a sense of pride and accomplishment over being given handouts.) It’s also neat to think about how, by allowing people into the fields, God gives “charity” a face – instead of throwing a $20 in the collection plate, or setting up an automatic deposit for Food for the Hungry each month (*guilty*) – there’s an opportunity for faces to meet: You see the individual-ness of the other person. Seeing their eyes helps you feel their humanness.

Are there ways we can practice this today, even without a field? See how Ann and Lois, authors of ‘Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus,’ shed insight on how we can live Old Testament wisdom in the 21st century:

“What might the ancient gleaning laws teach us? Think about the last time you dined out. How generous was that tip you left behind? Louis [one of the authors] still remembers the paltry wage she made at her first job as an A&W carhop — $1.75 an houw when minimum wage was $3.35. To her, tips weren’t just about the money, much as she needed it. They were about experiencing people’s car as they left behind some of their “harvest” out of consideration for a “gleaner” like her.”

–How cool is that?!After I read that I was blown away. How many other ways could I impliment this? Sprinkling Worship for God and love for my neighbor ALL. THROUGHOUT. THE DAY. 😀 I’m going to try and think of more ways to do this and if you discover some, please come back and share them with me! : )

So there it is. No extremems. No play-by-play. Just living in close community with God and neighbors asking Him to keep my eyes open and my heart generous. & trusting that He will.

How comforting to know that He assigned me to my parents, and North East Ohio (Acts 17). The way He set things up allowed us to get together. He assigned me to Autumn, and her to me. That waitress at our dinner? Assigned. That person in front of me at check out? Assigned. At least that’s how I like to look at it. I don’t think that’s outside of His relm. And what He assigns to us, places on our Path – THAT is the work He wants us to do. He provides the “what” and becomes the “how” – sourcing me, enabling me to live in the way that’s pleasing to Him.

So that’s where I’m at as of today. Looking to Him for each step, not just the destination.

Our house is so chaotic right now. Thankfully it’s an exciting kind of chaos so it’s the good kind. But seriously, things are torn out from everywhere, strewn across the room, waiting patiently to be put into just the right box. . .

Yesterday we visited my birth mom’s and step dad’s new place in Willoughby and got to see my 3 year old nephew and 2 year old niece. What a circus! Is this what I’m in for? Haha are toddlers always such wild animals?

{Family picture @ my Ma’s.}

At one point my mom told me that I’ll probably be homesick for a couple of months once we first get to Austin. My stepdad said that happened to him: just moving from St. Louis to Indiana after a few months he was more than ready to go back. But once he went back he saw that it was nothing like it used to be – and he could take it or leave it.

I can totally relate to that. I remember, as a teen thinking “How can life ever be as good as it is now? I don’t want youth group and bible quizzing to stop – Life won’t be as good if I can’t be with my friends 6 days a week – I don’t want to get older!” and then again with moving to Stow, away from my best friend and family – but both times it all worked out and I’m so glad I made the decisions I did. I’m so glad life kept happening and that I kept making new choices right along with it.

Life’s too good to let it go stale.
Gotta keep enjoying bite after bite as they come along.

Kinda like choosing not to hoard the Manna God gives. He’s given you some awesome gifts and you’re content with them. You want to keep them as long as possible; preferring to take a pass on whatever else God has in store because you might not like it as much. Why take the chance? Life is good here. Or maybe you’re scared of this new Manna: it’s new and different. You look at it and say “What is this?” (which is actually what Manna means) and are afraid to take it – grumbling or even resisting what a loving Father offers just for you.

You’d think after 24 years I’d have a rock-solid habit of looking back on all He’s done for me and be at rest because I can see that it’s always been better than before. He orders our steps. He’s had things planned for us from the beginning. He placed that Manna exactly where you’d see it, pick it up, and enjoy it. He delights in nourishing you.

Sometimes that nourishment is monotonous. Sometimes it is heartbreaking. Other times it is terrifying, life-changing, or more than you could have hoped for.

But it’s all nourishment from Him who delights to see you “take and eat,” giving thanks through all we have in Jesus Christ, our true Nourishment – offered and broken for His beloved. (Man, that gives me chills – a King that would die for His subjects.*)

So anyways – all that to get in words what I’m pondering on my heart lately. I’m a firm believer that God wants us to trust, act, and trust (notice trust is there twice). It’s safe to take that step because we know the Shepherd, and we trust that He’ll use His rod to correct us if we start veering off His path.

I’m so excited about Austin. 43 days now. So many unknowns. So many boxes. So much joy.

& Can’t wait to see what He has in store!

May I always seek to eat this Jesus-Manna offered and broken for me with joy and thanksgiving,

I’m writing this with a 15lb Fall Baby asleep across my lap and HGTV paused on our projector. I cannot believe that we’re moving across the country (North to South, at least) in exactly 49 days.

1500 miles are about to separate me from my North East Ohio security blanket. 49 days away from embarking on a dream that started not even a year into our 4-year marriage.

2 college graduations and a baby later, it’s finally happening. Well, Part 1 of 5, anyway.

Some think we’re foolish.
Others might say “crazy”.
Most are just wondering how it’ll all turn out.
And a few think it’s amazing. They’re the ones rooting for us. Praying on our behalf as we seek a drastically different life: centered on His Kingdom and righteousness.

(Autumn on our flight to pick out an apartment last month. 1st plane ride!)

Morgan Reid

I'm wife and mama learning how to love Jesus, and love on others the way He does.
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Into crunchy and natural living; mindful parenting; social justice; and environmental advocacy. I like anything domestic (decorating, fabric arts, etc), Monet's art work, photography, ASL, and having real connections with other humans. (:
Currently living in Austin, loving all the 'weird.' Counting gifts and enjoying God. ‡
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MBTI: xSFJ. Enneagram Type 6.