Sunday, June 17, 2012

Happy Real Daddy's Day

Forgive me as I give in to my tears for a moment.

Normally, I'm not affected by Father's Day but, given the course of the way things have been this year, I've come to realize just how much my kids have missed in not really having a dad, especially my youngest. This realization hit me first in church. Initially, I was all "oohs" and "ahhs" as each pastor spoke with love of his family, showing off pictures of their offspring with a pride that filled the room. But, as the service closed and as the all-male choir sang a song filled with words of a father to his son, I got to understand what my son has missed. And I got to understand the truth of these words: a child/boy needs his father. This is especially true on a day like today, a day when men recount stories of growing up under the guidance of their father or share those stories of pride and love for their own sons. A day that magnifies missed moments.

I didn't exactly help by not dating, though, I can definitely say that those who wanted to date me weren't the type of people I needed to bring around my sons. But those were the kinds of people who were attracted either to 1) any female or 2) a challenge and weren't looking to play step-daddy to no one else's child(ren). Maybe, if I'd been more open to the world of dating and the idea of love, I could have attracted the right type of fellow.

Sigh...

Can't dwell on the past, which is why I'm working to be more open-minded. I don't think it's too late for someone to come into my sons' life, to give guidance and love. I've got to be more open. I need someone in our lives to fill that void.

From my lips to God's ears...

QoMV

Update: Just saw a poem from singer/actor Tyrese on fatherhood through the eyes of a child. Click the link to read it.