i’m on repeat

So this latest installment of “Only Ameena Would Be Irritated By This” features my husband making me repeat everything I say. Everything. I. Say.

We could be sitting at a table for two and he’ll ask me to repeat myself. We could be on a walk with no other noise than the chirping of crickets and he’ll ask me to repeat myself.

Or – more realistically – we could be sitting in our living room with no noise but the staccato of our respective laptop keys and he’ll ask me to repeat myself.

Random weekend pictures: I bought roses. For no real reason. My dad is both shocked and disappointed in me for wasting $6.99.

Some days I get a “What?” Other days I get a“Pardon me?” And sometimes I just get a glance. No words, just a glance. With raised eyebrows.

There are obviously (and unsurprisingly) many things that annoy me about this situation, including the fact that the words, “Pardon me?” rub me the wrong way. (Am I the only one who finds them passive-aggressively rude?)

A downpour in Los Angeles AND a rainbow? For a fantastic minute I felt like I was on the East Coast.

But here’s the most frustrating thing: I know that my husband hears me. He hears every single word.

I have my theories on why he makes me repeat myself anyway:

He thinks it’s funny.

“What?” is a reflex for him, in the same way that throwing up is a reflex for Maya.

He has a processing problem and it’s time to upgrade to Ali 2.0.

The best salmon at True Food Kitchen in Santa Monica. I just eat around the (macademia?) nuts.

You are likely thinking okay Ameena, what’s the big deal? People get older / develop a hearing problem / are lazy, and why-must-you-fight-everything? Why not just repeat yourself?

Well I wish I could. As a matter of fact, I tried. I swear I did. But here’s the thing: I find it physically impossible.

Not sure how to remedy this latest situation but I do know this: I’m suddenly seeing the benefits of texting.

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Hmm, next time he asks you what you said perhaps you could tell him to ask Siri…or say completely the opposite if what you said and if he notices the difference you can call him on claiming he didn’t hear the first time:)

Haha, if she could repeat what you said, perhaps! Even better if she could do it and add the tagline “and listen closer next time, numbskull”, or something to that effect. Nothing like being shamed by Siri(or any technology really) to make a man sit up and pay attention.

Omg my Dad and his family do the SAME thing! They always says, “What?” and sometimes I’m not even BEGINNING to re-ask my question when they start answering it in a way in which it’s obvious that they know what I said initially…haha

Hahahaah Ali reminds me of my brother! Half of the time while I’m speaking, it’s in one ear and right out the other…to say it’s frustrating would be an understatement! I’ll speak, silence, and then 5 minutes later: “What did you say?”

On the subject of flowers- I used to think they were such a waste of money too but they really do make a world of difference to a room!

I have the same experience with my dad, so now when I talk, I stop after every few words and say “are you listening to me?” This actually changes the situation, he gets annoyed that I keep asking that and pays more attention hahah! “are you listening? are you listening? are you listening?” just put it on repeat for a few days, and soon listening will become a habit for him 🙂 Good luck!

Could it be ‘selective hearing’? I must admit, at time when I am busy, have to much to do, I tend to only hear the bits of the conversation which I think I need to hear. For example: If I’m listening to these words “Would you like a cup of tea with a chocolate biscuit” the words I’d actually process and identify is ‘tea’ and ‘chocolate biscuit’ and then my immediate response would be ‘sorry – say again’ just to then capture the full sentence again to which my response would be ‘yes please’.

If I someone uttered the words “could you kindly close the door or shut the window” in all fairness I’d hear nothing – because I’m busy and don’t want to get up, until I hear the words “did you hear me” – I’d look up and say “what – I’m busy”.

As you go older, the point of people not being able to hear properly is a myth I think, its down to selective hearing.

Selective hearing is right. I think that husbands and kids have this disease. Moms/wives appear to be immune to it. Although, I will admit that the words chocolate and tea sort of stand out to me as well…

My husband has ADD. But when I need to repeat what I say (often!) it’s almost always because he is hyper-focused on something else. A label, The Simpsons, the floor. I don’t think he has any problems concentrating, I think he has problems concentrating on things that aren’t his first choice of interest!

It’s not that he doesn’t HEAR you. He’s just not listening. Or not paying attention. Or both. You could play a trick on him and just adjust the volume of your voice so it keeps getting quieter all the time. Convince him he has a hearing problem maybe?

I stop talking to my husband when he’s watching sports/news on TV, it’s useless. I will only get blank stares back. Very annoying, so I feel your pain.
On another note, we had double rainbows last week in here, twice! You should move here 🙂

OMG! My husband does the same thing. I called him on it just two days ago because he literally answered my question and then said huh. I was like, how you gonna answer my question and then still say “what?” He says I don’t know it’s just a reaction. It annoys me too. I’ve started to just ignore him when I know he heard me. I just don’t respond when he says “what” and half the time he heard me and will reply anyways. If he doesn’t then oh well. I’m not saying it again!!!!

My husband does the same thing, but in his case I know it’s a hearing problem. He went to many hard rock concerts and listened to his radio very, very loudly in his youth. We’ve actually talked about how irritating it is for me to have to repeat myself every time I talk to him. So, we’ve agreed that I’ll try to talk louder and that if it’s just an offhand comment, he’ll pretend to have heard me and just nod in the affirmative.

Maybe that’s a thing you can try. If he’s acting like an old man that can’t hear, treat him like one. Start talking loudly, especially in public. 🙂

Nope, you’re not the only one who gets irritated by that. My ex-boyfriend used to do that to me (and I could always tell it’s because he was distracted and not actually listening to me), so I just stopped repeating myself. Like, if he did it, I would act like I hadn’t even spoken at all. Drove. him. insane.

You had me laughing when you talked about the east coast, only YOU love rain. 🙂 I love sunny weather, keeps me happy. The salmon dish does look fantastic… never seen academia nuts in it, interesting. Men just don’t hear, I think they can’t multitask the way women do, so it’s second nature for them to “what” everything we say.
Hope you’re doing well. 🙂

Right there with you. And it irritates the crap out of me. He gets the Look of Annoyance until he finally provides me with an appropriate response. The problem, of course, is when he legit didn’t hear what I said. I was beginning to wonder if I was a horrible, horrible person for having the patience of a 2 year old on this issue (and in general), but I now feel much better knowing I’m not alone.

I repeat myself alllll the time to my husband! He says over and over, “I heard you” but then when I ask him what I said he doesn’t know! Can’t believe you got those flowers for $6.99, they’re gorgeous!

Lol! Anthony started doing that randomly, instead of “Pardon me” though he would say “Sorry?” so I started just saying “sorry?” back to him but with a strong, bad, British accent. 😉 It got him to stop because we would just start cracking up. Some people really do it as a reflex, students do it a lot to buy themselves some “think-time.”

I definitely think the answer’s #2 (because I’ve met many people where “What?” and “Huh?” are said as often as breathing. Although, #3 would be pretty funny 😛 I also really, REALLY don’t like the phrase “pardon me?”, even though it’s technically correct and seems classy.

Also, I think in the last picture, those are Spanish almonds, not macadamia nuts 🙂

Glenn does this too, I think some people just get in the habit of saying what even though of course they’ve heard you. Usually I just look at him and don’t say anything. I let what I’ve said sink in and wait for a response. Do not repeat yourself, just give him the silent stare like I do, hopefully it works for you too.

I have a patient who does that (he says, “Huh?” and I know he hears me because he always starts answering my question when I’m halfway through repeating it. So now when he says “Huh” I just sit there until he answers the question. Maybe if you had a policy of only saying things once, he’d listen and/or admit that he actually heard you the first time.

I don’t find pardon me too annoying, though it is rather formal. At least Ali does not say, “What???!!!, Say again” all the time. My husband had a phone interview (which I happened to over hear) and he kept asking the interviewer to “say again.” Obviously, he did not get the job. Also, my husband’s “what” is pronounced more like “vhat.” The “what?? say again” is very annoying, especially when we are in public.

OMG send me the husband 2.0 when you find it. At least Ali admits to not hearing, asks for repeat. Marc pulls “you never told me that.” Only he’s married to someone who can recall when she said it and where we were, the time of day etc. So then I’m left not only annoyed her forgot but that he’s also sort of lying. So, no it’s not “only Ameena would get annoyed at that” it’s that all husbands seem hard of hearing or should we say hard of listening?

I am also against the use of “Pardon me” in conversation. I catch myself doing it every so often and make a disgusted face almost immediately after. I have terrible hearing, and people oftentimes need to repeat themselves around me, but at least I TRY to pay attention.
Also, I love the roses, and the framed photo. Just look at that happy photo whenever Ali says “What?” or Maya randomly throws up, and remind yourself to take a breath and remember how awesome your family really is.

Start doing it to him. INCESSANTLY. When he says “what?” say it in different languages – “Que?” or “Kya?” or just the ever annoying, “Huh?” And I hate when people say “Pardon me.” I don’t know why, but I am glad I am not alone.

My husband does this as well, and it sends me through the roof. He particularly does it when he is in a bad mood or cross with me. I just want to slap him. There should a finishing school for men that they are required to attend every year or so (kind of like continuing education for lawyers and doctors) that teaches them how incredibly lame this is!

I’m on repeat too, because I’m repeating Andrea as well, my husband also does this but I think he is actually having some hearing loss. I’ve noticed it in the last couple of years.

I tried to comment on last post but got interrupted again, as usual. That could have been my post and you and I are the same in this regard. I too throw their stuff away while they aren’t looking. My husband has to try to make me feel guilty and I have to explain to him that I’m doing all of us a favor. Besides I take pictures of most their stuff. 🙂

Ameena-that picture of you is beyond lovely, it’s straight out of a magazine. I love it! Such a cute captured moment of you both. Have a great weekend-

I know what you mean about people asking you to repeat yourself. It’s annoying and frustrating. Though for me, I know I speak fast and am soft spoken…. so I understand why others ask, “Can you repeat what you just said?” However, it still annoys me when I am trying to have a productive conversation.

As for your beautiful roses. I used to chastise myself if I spent money on such a frivolous purchase…. but you know what? Who’s gonna honor me if I don’t do it. To me, it is a necessity, even if it’s one single flower by my bed. It brightens my world, reminds me I’m beautiful and most importantly that I’m worth it. So, good for you.

I have two ideas…1) definitely upgrade to Ali 2.0, and if that doesn’t work…2) schedule him for a hearing test and let him know you think it’s time he gets some hearing aids! That may just do the trick LOL!

Mine does too and I KNOW why. Coz while I repeat, he’s busy working out his response to what I asked. Is making sure it qualifies all criteria of my ‘unsaid rules’ book 🙂 Free upgrades would be a boon -sigh!

BTW, Pardon me, and What don’t bother me as much as “Hmm?” Grrrrr……..
Lovely pics – Roses, Rainbows……….Romance in the air indeed !!
On the nuts, Macademia I’d say.

I hate having to repeat myself, mostly because I’m just too lazy to say things twice. But also because I lose my train of thought so easily that by the time they’ve said “what?” I already forget what I’m talking about.

OMG this EXACTLY THIS used to happen to me on a daily basis until each time he said, “What?” I said “You heard me the first time!” As soon as I stopped repeating myself, the whats and the pardon mes stopped.