Why Do the “Karachiite-type” Men Fall For Punjabi Women?

I begin with the disclaimer that this blog is not for 3 kinds of people:

1. Those who have an issue with the sweeping generalizations I am about to make in the spirit of fun, though parts will be definitely based on truth and years of research-based observation.

2. Ladies who are non-Punjabi and take the title as a jibe against themselves, and say to themselves “what does she mean? Don’t men like non-Punjabi women? She doesn’t know what she’s talking about! I know my husband would never be able to do with a Punjabi woman…..they’re so loud!”

Ok so it just me or do you see it all around you? Out of the inter-provincial, inter-cultural marriages, engagements and other stuff, as a Karachiite I have always seen non-Punjabi men falling for Punjabi women. I on purpose used the term “karachiite-type” men, but to be more specific, we can use the term “Urdu-Speaking” men. So WHY do urdu-speaking men keep falling for Punjabi women? Specially considering the fact that many stereo-typical terms are associated with Punjabi women: Loud. Tacky. Dominating. Laraaki. Big in size. And again, loud.

We seem to forget, generally, the beautiful, slender, groomed and talented Punjabi girls who are quite the norm. It seems like the image that comes to our mind when we say “Punjabi girl” is a big-sized female in a colourful Laacha, helping irrigate Pakistan’s agricultural lands by jumping in the fields trying to entertain a disinterested man, or eating a HUGE paratha dripping with ghee, and yelling so loudly that her lungs are about to fall off on G T Road, screaming “mere naal bakwaas na keeta kar naeen te tera bootha tor diyaan gee”. And yes, she IS pretty, even though she is all of the above.

Yet, day after day, the civil, tameezdaar and wonderfully peace-loving Karachiite (or Urdu-speaking) men fall in love with Punjabi women. And not just them. The other provinces have joined in too……Sindhis, Balochs, Pathans. The question remains “why”?

A few probable answers I discovered, after careful observation and asking around, are these:

1. Need a Change:

“All my life,” said a friend when he was choosing a girl to marry at the ripe old age of 23, “I have seen my mom, sisters, cousins, aunts – so proper. They don’t laugh too loud. They talk in aap janaab. They wear light blues and pastel pinks and beige. And I am like that too….the subtle aap janaab type. So somehow, the idea of a colourful lady in red appeals to me. Who laughs to her hearts desire and speaks her mind. You know, Phuljharee-type.” “Phuljharee-type?” I asked him to confirm I had heard correctly. “Yes yes. the Phuljhuree, Titlee type. For a change you know,” he affirmed. That’s when I somehow understood it. The firecracker butterfly fun brand actually works for a lot of men. That DOES NOT mean other provinces and ethnicities are bereft of phuljharees. But maybe it is inbuilt genetic selection that men seem to like the “made in Punjab” variety increasingly.

2. The “Khulla Dulla Ishtyle”

“At least with a Punjabi girl, you don’t spend your life wondering what’s under the cool demeanour,” said another anon friend. (And yes, it’s better my informants stay unnamed, lest they face consequences at the hands of the non-Punjoo women in their lives!). “She is who she is. Ghussay mein ho ya khush, kam az kam pata to chal jaata hai. You know how we men are, yaar. We are bad mind-readers, and women expect us to be just that. At least this way, you know that it is what it is. In your face. Jo hay wo hay. At least she’ll say it and not keep it in her heart for the next decade,” he said. And that’s one general impression about Punjabis that yes, under the umbrella term “Punjabi” come people who are not afraid to be. Plus, they are less formal and more casual. Less takallufaat and formalities, and more of Lath Maar stuff.

3. They Are Lookers:

“For guys, it’s all about looks. And Punjabi girls are mostly good looking. For me that is the single most important factor. As it is, I like her to be not stick thin,” said another informant. Need I say more?

4. They Have A Lot Of Fire:

With the package of the whole loud, khulla dulla ishtyle, comes a genuine spirited fieriness. Being passionate. Being fiesty. Humourous. Hulla gulla and fun. “I’m telling you, the ‘wujood e zann se hai tasweer e kainaat mein rang‘ wala shair was written for Punjoo girls,” said one know-it-all, in his second year of a happy engagement with a Punjabi girl, while he himself has ancestors from Lucknow. My two cents to my friend were: Make sure you know how to handle the fire, before you get scalded.

5. They Are Such Foodies:

And men like food. So in a Punjabi girl, they dream of someone who will be able to share his excitement over puri bhaaji, nihari, gola kabab, kharay masalay ka qeema and biryani. But she will also bring into his life the joys of aloo kay parathay, murgh cholay, sarson ka saag and makkai ki roti, and Punjabi pulao. She will understand the cliche that the way to his heart is through his tummy, simply because hey, the way to HER heart is also through her tummy.

To each his own. Whatever ethnicity works for you, go for it. And rather than the ethnicity, whatever “package deal” works for you, go for it. Meanwhile, let me sit and think over a sequel – Why Do Punjabi Women Fall For Karachiite-type Guys!

AWESOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ok if one word wont do then here are two words..

I was born and brought up in karachi but i m punjabi from my Parents side,which means going to my village every now and then, i remember once an aunty came to my friends she was looking for a tall,fair and slim girl but she should not be Punjabi ,i think u should write an article about mother-in-laws not wanting punjabi bahoo.
My friend’s husband in karachi told me that if u have one Punjabi friend in life u r the luckiest guy;strange isn’t it. Almost all my friends in Karachi are Urdu speaking, they r the best part in my life, they r equally great, superb and awesome as my punjabi friends,love them all and miss them.
Anila Kayani
Lahore

yup em agree your husband and your friends told ak dam correct that really im the luckiest person who have a only friend and she is panjabi i bet that i belongs from urdu speaking but and many friends i have in karachi but they never become my best friend like she is for my whole life she really turn me into bad too good there no comparison between panjabi girl woman then the other woman in the world panjabi woman are best chakde phatte

I agree Anila. The best part of the matter is that when people call us Punjabis as khulla dulla, they just seem to ignore one hard fact and that is that there is nothing hidden and they are quite easy to understand. You know most of Khi women keep to themselves and as mentioned by some one it is very hard to know if they are really happy or pretending to be happy.

Besides guys let me tell you one important thing about PUNJABI girls. They are very loving indeed.They love to the core and some times make life difficult when the hubby is caught glancing secretively to women. Then they can RUB you as well. But over all Punjabi girl is a great experience to live with for 5 years.

After 5 years, you may not like to remarry a Punjabi woman because no matter how smart she had been at the time of marriage, she converts to 1.5 liter COKE bottle. Yet if you could get used to drink 1.5 liter of COKE bottle instead of 150 ML bottle then it is wonderful.
I a Punjabi guy is married to a Khi wife. And she looks like a college girl still. Mummmm. Thats the big advantage I do not know why this difference among the two breeds.Would any one care to tell me???

hahahahaha your happiness made me chuckle. You must be a “Punjoo”.
Interesting observation by author and well articulated. I am just hoping that it should not add to any difference in Punjabis and Karachiites. So far I read only first comment. Going to read further.

Okay the article and the comment from Amna forced me to send a comment without even reading other comments. The comment from Amna raised my paternal emotions, it was so cute.
I am a pure Punjabi. Here are my few cents based upon my interaction and experience.

1. Females from Karachi / Urdu Speaking families are mostly like those ladies in “Khawateen Digest, Pakeeza Digest etc”. They are more sensitive and can fight or cry without any valid reason too. I like them but in my humble opinion, Punjabi guys might not be able to understand them.

2. Females from Punjab are fairer, healthier, more care free and even if they cry or fight sometimes, it is relatively easier for me to console them. A guy from Karachi might find it difficult but for a Punjabi guy it is not.

3. Variety is the spice of life. No harm in experimenting but mostly I find that people prefer their own cultural backgrounds while marrying their kids.

Last but not the least, nobody should take anyone superior or inferior based on this articles. What is strength of Karachi females is weakness of Punjabi females and vice versa. So they equate each other. Stay blessed and I am going to explore other posts by you Author.

nicely put up waqar…couldn’t agree more. 🙂 ..I reckon that’s what is evident…..at times the inquisitiveness and curiosity at both ends of the land may lead to a healthy relationship but at times one may fall a victim of such underline ideas; if these ain’t honoured.

Though i am an Indian Punjabi but i think Punjabis both sides of the border are pretty much similar. We are also labelled as Loud, Dominating, Foodies, ready to fight and what not.
And yes its not easy for a non-punjabi to understand and get along with a punjabi. A straight forward and loud mouthed punjabi finds it amusing and difficult to accept the mellowed approach of a non punjabi.
Actually Punjabis are a proudy lot and wont readily understand soft and sophisticated banter. Lol

that is soo true! @HSN 🙂 Actually contact lens just bother me so I love my specs… but you are right about the blonde thing..I have been blonde for like 15 years!! I think some of the peroxide has seeped thru my pores…I swear..cos my friends usually call me Phoebez.. (Phoebe from Friends, that is) 😛
Though am not a natural blonde, far from it.. but honestly I shouldve been.. it just suits me better than being brunette 😦 I wish it wasnt the case THEN paki make up would have really suited me, surma wouldve really suited me; light one that is..cos no one will ever allow me to wear kohl like Avril or Taylor Momsen ..but unfortunately that aint the case… its the pheeeeeeeeeeeeka face for me and has been for many years! 🙂 Oh but its ok..lets not complain… am sure everyone finds something in the market to beautify themselves… so its ok… after all, its just a good feeling when you look in the mirror.. and see what you like.. isnt it 🙂

For most Urdu speaking girls Punjabi men would be a big no,no. That is because a lot of them are extremely sexist while urdu speaking women are given a lot of respect from their own men. I think the reason is, families from the UP were always quite educated while in the Punjab mostly a rural based population. That meant urud speaking women were more educated, liberal minded, considered equal partners. Punjabi men by contrast, being from a largely rural based population are less used to strong, sensible women and prefer their own women;s histronics

Karachi women will never go into a Punjabi family, due to the fear of not being treated on equal footings and also the reputation of Punjabi men to occasionally raise their hands on women. I’m sorry but that’s an absolute truth coming from a Karachi girl

Well for guys to go for someone so desi isn’t unnatural but I don’t think girls would fall for the khullay dullay ishtyle and all. Girls can be groomed (maybe, dunno) but it’s hard to change men. Urdu speaking girls wouldn’t be so fascinated by the idea of living with someone so loud and chauvinist (since they are mostly rural so they do view women as property). Then again, we can’t stereotype.

In reply to Pokeee, I find it very offensive to call Punjabi people Sexist, despite the fact this whole idea of division on basis of ethnicity, religion, race, language is all so value-less, if you look in to the equality of human race. However, yet if you are a discriminator, for you i would just notify the highest number of Rape cases being reported in Karachi, and yes the numbers rises each day with the increase in literacy of the Hypo-metropolitan city of Karachi, since this education has failed to control those psychopaths. Still these reports make you say “Punjabis are Sexist”.

I being grown up in a rural area of Central Punjab have seen more values to my relations, my society and particularly respect of women, let me ask you a question, Have you ever dreamed of a freedom in your surroundings where you can walk into any house in your town, have a chit chat with the people(no matter who) in that house, play few games of hide and seek and still you can walk away of that gate with a big smile and respect for the people you haven’t know few moments back? Have you??

P.S. I seriously meant no offense to anyone, what I wrote was in response to stereotyping and false accusations, I personally believe in equality of all mankind, regardless who so ever they may be, since its not their fault to be at the places where they are, if it would have been at our hands none out of us would have chosen a life in which they see up and find someone superior to us. Thanks

First of all, a wonderful article Farah … Sad I read it too late.
Secondly, seeing the comments of several Karachite girls stating that a Urdu speaking, sophisticated girl would never go with a Rural based Punjabi guy coz guys from Punjab are too loud … lol … kind of made me roll on floor and laugh 🙂 …
The reason being, i know not one, not two in fact dozens of girls born and bred in Karachi married to guys born and bred in Lahore and Islamabad. Also, another thing that made me laugh was the fact that how easy it was for them to tag the Punjabi men as a complete rural douche who is willing to raise his hand on women, a few cases of social or domestic violence does not mean that the whole community is like that.
So you can say that you WILL never consider marrying a Punjoo guy but I don’t think it’s clear to say that anything is possible 🙂 … so have fun reading to article and avoid generalizations 🙂 …

I am from lahore…and for the most part…its absolutely true!…very well written piece indeed…and especially coming from a karachi-ite girl…you sure are very generous and have the guts to say it like it is! (a rare quality amongst women folk) keep it up…waiting for the sequel..though i am not sure if you’d have enough credible evidence to prove your hypothesis 🙂

Raza,
So glad to have a guy’s input here. That too from Lahore. I’m born and bred in Karachi, but am a thorough-bred Punjoo from my mom’s side. So let’s say I have seen both sides 🙂 Agreed. Hypothesis is based on a “credible” sense of humour & a keen eye for detail. Nothing more. Nothing less. Thanks.

Being a pure Lahori Punjabi I liked your article so much that I have officially started following your blog today. I especially enjoyed the following line because it totally applies to me, ” She will understand the cliche that the way to his heart is through his tummy, simply because hey, the way to HER heart is also through her tummy.”

punjoo aunties always say they are looking for urdu-speaking boys for their daughters because they’re tameezdar. as for karachi kay larkay choosing punjoo girls, i think there’s just one major reason: gori skin.

Can’t disagree with u more ma’am, I have lived half of my life in Karachi & other half in Punjab including Lahore. To be honest, I have never met a single aunty around looking for a Karachiite to marry her daughter with. Quite contrarily, Punjabi women, as far as my passive observation (spanning over 13 years) is concerned, prefer Punjabi guys for their strong physique, casual & open extrovert personalities, and a lot more than just TAMEEZDARI. It wouldn’t be wrong to state that most Punjabi girls would prefer guys who are dominating in certain aspects, a FEATURE most Karachiite guys lack 🙂

i don’t think the moms of punjabi girls have much of choice in our society. i belong to a punjabi family settled in khi. out of us 5 sisters im the only one married to a punjabi guy. the other four families came to our house and not the other way round. but yes there are many urdu speaking families where the guy’s mom is strictly against the idea even if the son is time n again falling for punjabi girls :p

Really?? Not intended at all, considering I’m myself one, though Karachi-based.
Notice this part: “We seem to forget, generally, the beautiful, slender, groomed and talented Punjabi girls who are quite the norm. It seems like the image that comes to our mind when we say “Punjabi girl” is a big-sized female…..” My whole point was that we stereo-type Punjabi women & people in general.
Also, the fact that they are in such great demand shows they are amazing women.
Generalizations, yes, are part of the blog, in the spirit of humour 🙂
Thanks for the feedback Huma

@Farahnaz: actually my feedback was regarding the comment just above mine’s (which evidently does not mean any offense to anyone). As far as your blog is concerned, I came here for the first time. Needless to say you have considerable grip over this trade & I admire a skill far greater than my own. However, without putting in any uptight seriousness, this article could have been made more AUTHENTIC with a little extra effort (btw who da hell am I to judge 🙂 ). I too have Punjabi ancestry spanning over centuries yet I lived my life, splitting equally in two, in Karachi & Punjab both. Sure I can provide you with my input in any of your upcoming article if it could be of any help 🙂

I’m a Punjabi who has lived all over the country thanks to my dad being in the army. Never met or heard of a single fellow punjabi girl who found karachiites attractive. Not one. Punjabis, Pathans or Kashmiris is all where it’s at.

Same here Sana, no offence but I too have never come across a non-Punjabi man wanting to marry a punjabi girl. 😦 Loud, auntish, with *the* ACCENT that turns you off in a jiffy, they are not really our cups of tea, sadly. As for looks, one word: meh! And what’s more, you can be certain how your ‘pretty’ girl will look in 10 years time: just take a look at the aunty and her lovely tummy and you can guess how your wife will be after (hopefully) 2 kids are there in the family. Desi parathas with asli ghee and other food through will she entered the man’s heart will be all that will be left! But who am I to judge? To each his own.
Have a good day, Sana!

yea i seem to notice a common trend here, its always the accent that turns out to be a turnoff.

for punjabi guys the whole “sania mirza type” “minminminminmin”(adams apple going up) accent that karachi girls have is a major turn off
and for the karachi guys the whole elongated enunciation of Rs, Ls and Ds (adams apple going down) is the reason why we have the saying “lahori girls are hot until they open their mouth”

so ali syed sahab, you cant say *the* accent. its not like karachi women dont have an annoying mousy accent, just like punjabans have the heavy pehlwaani accent.

infact, for most people in the world, ANY pakistani accent is a big turnoff.

u sound a racist man. iv already mentioned sumwhere im a punjabi who has lived in khi all my life and 3 of my sisters got married to urdu speaking men. all arranged marriages where the guys’ families approached. everywhere around in khi i see punjabi girls married to urdu-speaking men. i wonder how uv not come accross any such couple. or probably ur one of those hardcore mohajir families who are not at all open to the idea nad you move among same kind of ppl too. wake up boy! look around you. punjabi women are 50% of the times married to men of other ethnicities and they have this capability of adjusting well in diff cultures.

Thats a racist comment Sana. I am married to a Punjabi girl and we have been happy. I (too be honest) got done by her looks and attitude and she liked the fact that Karachi guys are humble towards their wives, treat them on equal footings and donot mind them doing jobs, or getting an education (something that is still not a common trait amongst punjabi men even today)

Quite hilarious. As an Urdu-speaking Karachite who’s lived in Lahore, I can attest that Point # 3 is quite spot-on :p. Glad you mention the slender beautiful girls too; since those are more commonly found (especially in the sophisticated urban class) than the conventional image that we draw (and perhaps unfairly). All in all, a great read.

Very interesting! I haven’t met many urdu-speaking men, and the ones I’ve met weren’t the marrying type! But if I wasn’t a Pashtun who wasn’t bound by a lot of cultural and traditional shackles, I’d definitely go for the colorful and “Titly” definition of a bride-to-be!

what is PUNJOO???….i dont think thats a word….please dont try to make it a word.
its a really lame word….just like ISLOOO.
any name with an “OOO” in the end can never be cool.
please let us punjabis retain our dignity.
thank u

I enjoyed reading your article. Just to add to the list. There is a saying “You can take a girl out of the village but you can’t take the village out of the girl”. This is true for most of the punjabi girls :)))

Despite being an Urdu speaking woman from Lucknow married to a fellow Urdu speaking man from Delhi, my dadi always preferred having a bahu from Punjab and a damaad from U.P/Bihar. Her belief was Punjabi women are family oriented, easier to mould and more willing to absorb themselves in their marital homes. Which is what happened to my mom. Urdu speaking men are polite, simple, slightly subservient and are willing to let women have control. So in context of her family…for her sons and daughter, Punjabi bahus and Urdu speaking men seemed to be the best mix.

Yup. Punjabi women come from a rural, patriarchal culture. Being an entertaining titli is how they unfortunately have to keep the attention of sexist men. Urduspeakers were more exposed to culture and women lib. Wat u see as subservient men is actually men who let women make decisions, not put them down. So sexist men from all cultures will prefer punjabi women who appear entertaining and do not hurt their egos.the strong, intelligent, urdu speaking woman can only be appreciated by proper, khandani Urdu speaking men. That is the sad reality of all paki woman from a rural background.

Yaar I think Karachitte girls are large in size and Punjabi girls have specs better then those of Urdu Speakers .. Correct me if I am wrong, I assume we are talking about girls not women above the age of 35 with 3 children already delivered !!!

Traits that can also be identified to the rural background are shallowness among the women. This can easily be seen in the contrast between the bling in which even the older punjabi women dress and the elegant dressing of the Urdu speaking woman. For most khandani Urdu speaking families, women knowing tameez, wat is appropriate, not appropriate is essential. Punjabi ppl having grown up in a rural background had less exposure to the culture of our great writers, intellectuals. This can be seen today to some extent in the difference between the woman of the two ethnicities.

i don’t think we are here talking of rural punjabi women. not to forget punjab is one province that has more big cities than any other province. i don’t understand how a born and raised girl in lhr or pindi or multan etc can be categorised as a rural girl. punjab has also produced some of the best urdu writers and poets both male and female….allama iqbal being one of them. i rteally don’t understand what ur talking abt here.

Opposite Attracts!
Being Humans, our nature is that we dont like what we have / we value more what we dont have. So, I would somehow agree with the answer which was given in the theory “Need a change”.
I can give another example (being living in multicultural city “Dubai”): When we see a black africal girl, they are not attractful for us but I have seen many Europeans and Americans are just so attracted to them (same for the black men for European/American ladies)

I must say you are way to good :p I am a urdu speaking myslf but hahaha seriously i havent met those people by now which were mentioned in the blog hahahah seriously … it was too good… ur research… ahahaha it was good I agreed on some point people like girls like phuljarees… but its not necessary ke woh punjabi girls men hi miley … you never know when you will generate a capability to handle more then phuljari hahahah … but it was realllyyyyyy realllyyy good hahahah i was laughing like anything while reading it and cause i am an urdu speaking myself hahahahah it was quite awesome for me cause i havent met any of those kind of people in my life …. there are few people jin hone shyd shuruwat men instructions nahi parhi thi .. people please .. 🙂 dun spoil it …

Yes. Correct. The personality comes from generations of women being exposed to culture. Such strong woman can only be appreciated by men who had similar cultured background in which strong, sensible women who knew what was appropriate were considered an asset. Unfortunately for most paki men only entertaining women will do. So tzHey do not feel threatened. One thing also, I have noticed is that it’s almost impossible to embarrass punjabis. Urdu speaking ppl with generations of exposure to cultures are more self reflective and very easy to embarrass.

Thanks for the feedback Atif.
The purpose of the blog was harmless fun. This forum is not to undermine Punjab. Punjab has ironically produced brilliant thinking minds, artists, poets and writers. All Punjabis are not rurals. The culture is different, & variety is the spice of life. These are flowers which make the bouquet of Pakistani culture so beautiful.

Farah Apa i LOVED reading this piece! I read it out to my extremely-urdu-speaking husband and we were in fits of laughter! And he completely agreed with point# 1-need a change!
Cant wait for the sequel 😉 lots of love

Honestly! This includes everything that I felt when I met my jori-dar, a ‘Punjoo Girl’ ^^
There are few things that comes with the package that really hurts at time. But this was a very good read. This explains it all. And frankly speaking you just reminded me why I fell in love with that girl in the first place.

You don’t know or may not imagine but this post of yours might help many to ease the tension among. For me I had a rough time yesterday and was in a bad mood. But this just made me call her and tell her how much and why I love her.

And I am also thankful to my friend who shared this on Facebook. May Allah bless you all! ;))

I is a Punjabi girl who just tied the knot with my urdu speaking husband. The first punjoo girl entering his family so everybody is in shock on his side. Wait till i spread my colours in that part of the family. They’ll be punjoo converts 😉 InshaAllah.

Hiilllaaarrrriiiooouuss! ‘ … the image that comes to our mind when we say “Punjabi girl” is a big-sized female in a colourful Laacha, helping irrigate Pakistan’s agricultural lands by jumping in the fields trying to entertain a disinterested man, or eating a HUGE paratha dripping with ghee, and yelling so loudly that her lungs are about to fall off on G T Road, screaming “mere naal bakwaas na keeta kar naeen te tera bootha tor diyaan gee”… Ooooh, loved it. Thoroughly entertaining…n surely based on truth and general observations…Wonderful! Reminds me of Bushra Ansari’s character in ..’Dolly ki aaye gi baaraat’…

I enjoyed this article very much lol. even though m purely Karachi ite i somehow posses all the Punjoo qualities in me and for the same reason m damn popular with men 😀 . even the big sized female applies to me here lol i guess have been sent to the wrong ethnic group of urdu speakings 😀

Pursue her to no end! Persistence is key my friend! Punjabi girls love PDAs, it doesn’t have to be very public if you think she’s not into that kind of stuff. But she’s definitely into gestures. I guess what Im trying to say is, what works with every Punjabi girl is because she’s so feisty she doesnt think many can match her fire.

There IS a fine line between controlling her and letting her feel “Gubroo Jawan” is here to take care of her. So strike the right balance. They’re immensely inquisitive and the more straight forward and gutsy you are with your expression the more you’ll sweep her off her feet. Just don’t be a scaredy cat, you’ll scare her away!

A generalization but makes sense , dad being Urdu speaking and mum very much a lahori
grew uP with two cultures both colorful and beautiful , mum speaks excellent Urdu and dad tries to speak Punjabi with gusto, me on the other hand have a mixed cOnfused accent ! But I lay claim to both cultures. Punjabi girls are fun , Karachi girls are sophisticated and take themselves too seriously xx

Bina, you are lucky but mostly Punjabi never interested to give their daughter to Urdu speaking…. Yes both culture are good and not much different like Pushto or Sindhi. Even if we talk about India mostly Urdu speaking and Punjabis have done sacrificed for Pakistan they had good relation with each other senior and cultural people but unfortunately our politicians made big differences in this stage. No doubt Karachi girls are so sophisticated if she is punjabi or mixed however girl from Lahore if she is urdu speaking she cant have same match like Karachi girl…. perhaps interior Punjabi has much opposite culture of Lahore. They have 2 cultures in Punjabi and Lahore culture always dominate to other punjab culture. thank you

I loved reading this and I laughed so much in several places – bear in mind, I’m a Punjabi girl and I thought it was hilarious!
Really nicely done blog. I blog too, please read some of my blogs and feel free to comment:http://avidscribber-avidscribbler.blogspot.com/

LOL and so true,
What I know so far that men wants, fair in all deals, straight forward, honest, caring n loving and you feel like u r living with a friend, al least I want that!
Regarding womenology little known so far, they want loving caring friend rather husband, some1 who listens, shopping, tourism, still learner not sure!
But surely Punjabi women definitely sits in all definition

Dear Farah
You just made my day. I’m a “punjoo”girl and your piece of writing reminded me of who I am and why I am the way I am. Wonderful sense of observation and yes this piece is allthing precise and oh sooooo true especially the part where you mention the punjoo girls’ love for food just like their male counterparts. It was sheer joy to read this hilarious piece and am waiting for my husband to be back from work so I can read it to him also. Great job… Keep it up Farah and from now on I’m following your blog religiously 😉

Oh this is amazing! Really well written! This is One karachitte-type guy residing in lhr who,s looking for a phuljaree 😉 o bale bale! do right The sequel so we men get tips on how to charm them aswell!

nice post overall but i have some reservations about painting karachiite men as “civil, tameezdar, wonderfully peace-loving… “. i mean that’s like going even beyond “making sweeping generalizations”.. thats like making criminally insane generalizations..:) in fact thats like someone calling africans as the “white-ish, fragile, etc..” type.. u’d say “what on earth is he is he/she talking about..” right!!!?

Let me share my experience, people who belong to Punjabi and they called “Punjabi”, why they don’t prefer their “Damad” in Karachist. If anyone would like show interest to have wife from Punjabi they don’t prefer even they would appreciate to have “Damaad” from same territory or cast. Still we are living in 1960? I believed we should prefer to see if Punjabi daughter can stay happy with the Karachist gentleman so we can say go ahead but in reality this is not fact. If she has same wish and they are much religious too although they senior people never wish to get married with Karachist family. Agreed Punjabi girl is more attractive, religious, and good respect side behave too that’s why its more attractive to Karachiest people. Anyone have answer of my question. We are still living in this society where we prefer to get married into same community or same cast based. Punjabi is living in Karachi but they prefer to have son in law from Punjab and prefer in their cast…..I am really sorry if my words made hurt you but i observed and experience shared with you guys…

I have enjoyed reading this article it was fun and so true I’ve seen it happening and so many movies show you a clear picture of this topic. Being a British born who went to Pakistan at age 14 fell for the Sialkoti Punjabi boy. Have loved every single moment and become more punjaban day by day. I love my punjabi hubby to bits..
Punjabi culture just rocks ..

Though Kashmiri, Pathan and even Baluchi girls are on average better looking, and much better built, they don’t have the fun factor of Punjabi girls. Pathan girls are more pattakha as far as I know… and they’re pretty much all good gastronomes. The greatest quality that Punjabi girls have though, is their adaptability, their flexibility and ability to adjust to new places and people. They make great migrants!

after reading the whole artical and the reply of the ppl above….. its now clear that punjabies looking for urdu speaking is coz of there adab adaab and softness nt garam demag…… while on the other hand urdu speaking boyz hunting for punjabi girls is coz of there beauty, skin color, and all other physical thing which u know beter then me……… strange conclusion but a fact undeniable.

What a Read!!! Being a true Karachiite i couldnt agree more..You have very well highlighted the crux of this well known fact:)..These were one of the top reasons why i gladly opted to live and work in Lahore when i was presented the opportunity by my employer:)..I fully endorse this article and the article to follow (sequel)..Its been almost a year now and every passing day strengthens my believability in these cliche’s!! 🙂

Being married to a Punjabi sweetheart, I am totally convinced that this is the best thing ever happened to me. Being a Karachi wala I never wanted a heavy chai drinker, toothpick thin, dark color, abrupt, cunning, overly outgoing for reason, karachi wali larki but a much gharelo type. And Allah SWT blessed me with one and I think you have painted the true picture in this case. I am very impressed with this entertaining piece and will follow your writings in future as well.

Great article! Now please don’t get butthurt when i say this but in urban, upper middle class lahore, most girls will go wherever the gold is. And no it’s not the same way with karachi girls. And no, I am from Lahore.

interesting post, i believe and observed that punjabi girls have more looks then karachitie girls, but i more like sensitive girls, by the way its not about just looks its about understanding between each other and love.

Dear Farahnaz,
I appreciate the spirit in which the article was written. However, as someone who has been discriminated against for being Punjabi, may I punt in my two cents here. The idea is not to criticize anybody but to share with all the others how stereotyping, especially about Punjabis and Pathans has become a part and parcel of the thought process of people of certain ethnicities and areas, and of course the incorrigible “Saima Choudhary” has made it permissible to do so without ever feeling guilty about it, if indeed someone ever thought of it as not so desirable an act.
I was out of Pakistan for a while and came across Desi community who mainly comprised non-Punjabis and non-Pathans. A lady, a university professor, once told me that her idea of Punjabis was that they were domestic help mostly. For her Punjabis were illiterate, loud mouthed people and Pathans were mostly “chowkidars”. The story doesn’t end there I was referred to as “the Punjaban” behind my back. My fellow students, a couple of Pathans, were always the butt of cruel jokes as well.
For me it was a shock to realize that it took me to travel all the way from Pakistan to the United States to find out that I’m a Punjabi whereas I always thought of myself as a Pakistani. While one may appreciate the humorous element behind stereotyping one has to remember the very thin line that exists behind such humor and outright racial/ethnic prejudice. Unbeknown to us we start letting these biases and stereotyping dictate our moral and social behaviour so much that we start discriminating against people, and this is something that needs serious reflection.

Very wisely written article but I have to say that your definition and description of a Punjabi Women is quite similar to an ogre definition. However, when you say their attractive, absolutely yes, an ogre gets attracted to an ogre….wana know more, watch Shrek series along with your kids….lolz

So darn funny and SO true! I’m a pakki punjoo, married to a pakka sindhi and as much as he fell for the punjabi-pan in me, he cn’t help but feel exasperated by the same, at times! Kabi payr mai joothi nahi, kabi samosay k neechay plate nahi, kabi shopkeeper say jhagra, kabi beggar say dosti:-p All in all, I feel punjabi folks are just more giving, forgiving and open about their sentiments which helps them get along with all kinda people!

A born & bred Karachiite, i am completely smitten by Lahore and their zest for life!

I always say i’m a Punjabi trapped inside an urdu-speaking body! Even Lahori’s have told me i totally look and act like Punjabis. When asked why? They said, “Because you love life, you laugh loudly, you talk like a punjabi, and you don’t have a ‘saryaal’ expression like most Karachiites! hahaha. and did i mention i’m an obsessive foodie?

Nicely written Farahnaz! The simple dynamics apply here: opposites attract. Like some of your friend’s put it, they’d seen their mums and sisters be a certain way and the Punjabi girl was so not like that. But I disagree with the notion that most Punjabi girls dont know how to speak to save their lives, nor do I agree they have bad fashion. Contrary to popular belief (of I dont know what decade) Punjabi girls are very well dressed, the geekiest of Punjabis is better dressed than a fashion conscious woman of Karachi. Not to mention they’re much more proportionate in size and conscious of it than any Karachite, considering Punjabis really do give appearances importance.

The comments were funnier than your post though, funny to see how defensive Punjabi women get just as you’d rightly put in your article, the phuljari reacts. But let it be known the passion of Punjabi’s is unmatched, they know their friendships and even enemies better than anywhere else. Superficiality is where found alien and looked down upon, its the usual cupa tea in Karachi. Although the pathan’s are very lively and fun loving peoples as well. Have only met a few Baloch’s recently, they mostly keep to themselves but theyre okay too.

Yes do consider writing a piece on how Karachi women fall for Punjabi boys, I have my very own observations on the said 😉

But you have described here the Urdu speaking, taith Karachite. I know a few BURGER karachites who have fallen for the phuljaris of Punjab and then some. I wish you could cover that as well.

i don’t think punjabi girls are good looking ahh they are mostly fatty and dey’ve speaking problem too , wholly paindu they are truly disaster on the face of the earth…
who freaks and geeks approch them ?? LOL

Thank you so much sharing such a article, and making me realize that I’m not alone. One of my friends, (Who has married to four women Belong from different culture and parts of Pakistan) says that if you want to be young forever, till your last breath, you must marry to a Punjaban. I think now he has proved his point. Highly appreciated, very well analysed. Food, Spark, Khulla Dullha Ishtyle, this is all I, everyone wants.

PS: BTW I’m happily married to a woman who were born and brought up in Karachi. Sorry my dear wife, but its true.

Lahori women do make Karachi women plenty insecure, purely for the same reason they believe their men will stray, because she’s mostly beautiful. Some even like to believe Lahori girls have more personality. But all of this is outdated now, there are all sorts of people everywhere. I do agree with Mozzam above though, Punjabis do still look down upon superficiality while it’s accepted with a pinch of “live and let live” else where.

Farah, I dont know if you have made this observation, but you may want to further study these punjabi women. Islamabadi females are of a whole different breed altogether and this is observation by men themselves. Lahori girls are the real punjabi girls you speak of. But the rest of them a cross of sorts. Do study them as well.

Couldn’t have read a better piece than this one on the given subject. Just loved reading it. Thoroughly enjoyed it and completely agree to that idea of having one punjabi friend in life means you just have that liveliness alive in you……

i really admire and support this argument that we have to integrate with each other rather to live in our small boxes, it will give us exposure and will make us a single and united nation. but one thing i would like to add, a friend of mine who is also a karachiit and married to lahori typical “punjoo girl” i sent this article to him, and he just replied a single line
pyaar kerne walon ko ik nigaah kaafi he

This is the first time I came across your blog. A fellow blogger myself I loved your post. The thing that I loved most about it is how true it all seems. Yes there are exceptions in all areas mentioned, but still. I am an Urdu speaking girl. However, all my life I have been mistaken for being a Punjabi. LOL I have no idea why this is so, and no one can ever really explain this to me. From friends, to aunties and newly met people, I am always mistaken to be a Punjabi. I have no problems being called so, as ALL my life I have had Punjabi friends. So I consider myself to be lucky to be surrounded by people who think I have the qualities mentioned in your post 🙂

Comment from Lahore : if style is missing around u then may be Karachi could b an option fa a lahori munda but yes if its about Beauty then Punjab and KPK could be the Top of the line …….. but the good thing is when we says ” Pakistan ” everything comes in it Style,Beauty , etc …….. so in a complete pic we Pakistanis are awesome …..:>

As a Urdu speaking guy from Karachi. I agree with nearly everything. Punjabi girls are beautiful good looking and Full of life. But as my family comes from Dehli no better food than ours. Also the accent is a big NO NO

Being a hardcore Karachiite, having brought up and spend almost entire life in Karachi, and Studying in Lahore since a year now, I have to Confess, there are no girls like Punjabi Girls on this entire Planet! They’re pretty, outspoken, phuljaree, like every thing written in this article seems like coming out of my heart haha! That Loud Paindu-ish touch they have (well groomed Punjabi Girls are exception), that’s annoying at times, but at the end, that is what made me fall for one of the girls last year (she had a guy, by the way, why are Punjabi Girls committed at such young age haha)! But Yeah, in short, Punjabi Women (Y) they have some thing which can not be found anywhere else on Planet!

Thts a brilliantly written…..m a kashmiri punjabi from generations…reading this flatters me….but I have my own observation but maybe its only my opinion….karachiite women fall for punjabi men big time……they say these men are daring and too much all at the same time as opposed to polite app janab type of ursula speaking men

BUhahahahahahaha, I LOVE U 😀
I got married to a Karachiitte and I am a pure Punjabi girl
He makes fun of my urdu all the time 😀
Everyone makes fun of Punjab here, but in the end, they end up giving Rishtas for the Punjabi Women 😛 😛 😛
I even hear things like ‘Wo Larki hai na Punjab ki moti taazi laraka type’ 😛 😛
But in the end, i think, Punjabis are culturally ‘rich’

very nicely written and very well researched. i am a karachitte or an urdu speaking so to say and all my life, i admitted, i have always been very much attracted to punjabi type women. i even ended up marrying a loud, khulli dulli, vibirant, food loving, and loud, a looker, a full of fire and loud punjabun from lahore. and to be honest, given another chance at life, i would do it happily all over again.

Both Karachi girls and Punjabi girls have good traits and negative ones but the best part about having these frequent intermarriages is that in few years time, we will be having bunch kids who are not going to be Punjabi or urdu-speaking but pure desi khaalis Pakistani who would love both the cultures they inherit and will surely be more open-minded and tolerant, something we need so badly…cheers

Bro. Not to burst your bubble but i find your article stereotypical and highly offensive to women, whether “karachite” or “Punjabi”, as you call them. Do a favor on women and remove your article which is based on a really weak and pathetic perception. Have clarity on what real beauty is. And, if you’re unable to find it, i suggest you look at your mum and sisters, for which i have utterly complete respect, so that you might have an idea of what inner beauty is.
No disrespect intended towards you but seriously get a life. I see you have taken your time, coming up with this. And, I must admit you have a good set of skills. So, do not waste them. There are more important things in life then writing up a whole blog about which region is more God gifted.

If u had paid a tad more attention u would have seen that the article was written by a lady n not a ‘bro’ + she has the right to write what she pleases this being her blog and u have the right to not read stuff that offends ur delicate sensibilities.

Amazingly awesome to pen on this topic. I am an Urdu-speaking or like you said ‘Karachiite-type man’ who has lived plenty of his life in Karachi if not entire. I like Punjabi kuriyan and the reason is one of those you propounded: Khulla Dulla Ishtyle. Besides, they look sexier the way they are, the way they speak, the way the look at me, the way they walk and talk and from every action they fire sexism at me. Idk why? :(.

Thank you Masood 🙂 Journalism and editing takes up most of my time, and writing is somewhat neglected. But I am glad my readership thinks so 🙂 Do google my work or explore Chaaidaani for more of my work. Thanks again

Haha I really liked your post! And I agree with all that you and the guys said, although I’m not a guy :p but I hav always had more punjabi friends than Urdu speaks, bcz for me the Urdu speaks we’re just too prim and proper! I even married a punjabi guy, much to the dismay of my extended family 😀

I am a Punjabi guy(not married) and i live around a lot of Punjabi women …..The aricle was superb as far as the early 10 years of a marriage is concerned a Punjabi women is the best you can find out there but trust me ask a man in his late 30s or 40s he will tell you the older side of a loud khuli dulli Punjabi woman and believe me they are not very easy to handle in those ages.but once you pass then they are all happy khuli dulli dadi amis again.

In addition to the reasons listed in the article I think “all Pakistani men” are attracted to Punjabi girls because Punjabi girls are much more aggressive in their reaching out to men. Unlike in the West, our culture does not allow people to “date” multiple people and then find what they are looking for. So whatever comes into contact first becomes our fancy. Since Punjabi girls are much more aggressive in reaching out, their probability of finding/getting men is better than other types of girls. Other thing to note is that Punjabi girls these days try to avoid Punjabi men as their life partners. Reason being Punjabi men are considered to be lot more chauvinistic and controlling vs. others, specially Urdu speaking men.

I have never met a single Punjabi girl so far who is falling for a Non Punjoo. Especially In Lahore I have seen that in many instances guys from Karachi even have a smaller height than the average height of the girls here.

My wife is urdu speaking & i am BUTT ( kashmiri -punjabi). It was love marriage ofcourse as both sides were keen on keeping it within their respective family backgrounds. My experience is opposite as most of couples i know are similar to mine. Its easier for karachi born & rasied or islamabad etc to marry urdu speaking girls. Urdu speaking girls are their pros & cons 🙂 One thing i dont like is that they fuss about small irrelavant stuff too much. Make a big thing out of small issues which you wont see from punjabi girls. Also urdu speaking women expects a lot more from husbands than punjabi women in general i think. My wife is tall, pretty good looking & smart even after 2 kids , so that was a non issue for me but that is a motivation for lot of karachi guys whne it comes to girls & sometimes they go for punjabi girls to sort of improve their future genetics & generation from that perspective 😉 I guess thats enough explosive material to spark further discussion, hehehehehe

In the very outset, I would say that why u all guys, showing the talent of highest order and persuading having vast knowlege of socio-fabric culure of Punjab and karachi, are sticked to two regions?….r there no impressive men n women in other parts of country?
Ooook lets take it this way that this is the Topic- based conversation even then why do u forget about huge diversification dwelling in psyche and temprament of punjabi and urdu speaking people ( of karachi) The girls n boys having their parents with origin of UP, CP r altogether different from Dehli, Hyd Deccen, Rajastha n and more dominantly from Behar. The similar is the position in case of Punjabis, divided in saryki, jatt, pothohari and lahori etc. Now why the Karachite males like Punjabi Mutiarins is not difficult to guess. In fact urdu speaking girls r sarial type having no sex appeal, eating paan makes them more boring if one comes closer to them. On the contrary punjabins r juicy yumy straightforward and lush push. The most positive part of punjabins is that they r not greedy. To me Punjabins make perfact match with any one. The karachite women r greedy and demanding. They only suit to their community. Having said all, ut would b injustice if I would not say that urdu speaking karachi girls r definitly well mannered and cultured. Karachi men r synonymous to their women in all respects

punju (Punjabi), surd (sardar), bong (Bengali), mallu (malabari), tam (tamil) – these are short forms used by new gen in India for each communites…we don’t like our own nicknames but we use the one for others 😛

all i gotta say was this was so much fun reading…my fam is from lahore but fam is urdu speaking and i happened to get married to a karachitee..although born n raised in ny i dunno how much of this applies to me but it was so much fun reading it i had to pass it on to my hubby ..he endless pokes fun that i am in fact punjabi despite me never being born or raised thr and tht my fam is urdu speaking….i guess once from punjab always from punjab???! lol this was great

Lol! Farhana, you know what you are absolutely right about the article even though i am not a punjabi but am often confused to be one.
i think your next sequel should be “why do karachiite-type WOMEN fall for Punjabi men” because trust me, it is just as much true the other way around as well:)

hey i am a Karachiite & so is an uncle of mine who got married to a punjoo 10 years ago , he forces me to go for a punjoo as well & cajoles my parents to look for a punjabi kuri as he is so satisfied with his life.

For dishing out I like my T-bone steak with tender juicy meat. A big cage of ribs with not enough meat just don’t cut for me. For everyday eat I prefer local subtle meal. And yes, I am born bread Karachi guy:)

Reblogged this on mybigfatpakistaniwedding and commented:
Ah, what an appropriate post to reblog on MyBigFatPakistaniWedding, as I’m just another Punjabi girl that an Urdu-speaking boy fell for, lol 😛 Favourite line of Chaidaani’s post about the awesomeness of Punjabi girls: “She will understand the cliche that the way to his heart is through his tummy, simply because hey, the way to HER heart is also through her tummy.” Amen, sister, amen!

Chaidaani, as a Cdn/Punjabi/Pakistani…who is about to marry an Urdu-speaking Cdn/Pakistani (totally blogging about the wedding festivities – mybigfatpakistaniwedding.com) I loved the article! I didn’t even realize my ‘Punjabiness’ until it was juxtaposed with his Urdu-speakingness….example 1 “Saad, I need a deshki” Saad: “a what?” Me: “you know, a deshki” Saad: “a what?” Me: “um, a pot?” Saad: “ohhhh, a dejjjki” Me: “no, a DeSHHHHki” lol, lol, this has happens a lot.

A guy from LHR narrated to a friend my mine that a Punjabi wife believes she is not truly loved until beaten by him, so he said to keep things in order just give her slapping on waking up in the morning when she has done nothing wrong and she will be a happy camper for rest of the day. Of course if she errs she will face orders of magnitude higher abuse and she would still be submissive and would thing the man is the king. Urdu-speaking women are too political, complex and manipulative and hubbies like it that way.

I loved its every single word. As being a Punjo woman, I’m just overwhelmed by glimpsing. Yes, I’ve teased someone by sharing this worthy piece with HIM.. He’s unable to absorb the Sarcasm and moreover the Tag of Karachiitte-Type Men… Yes!
But this ethnicity still prevails, Urdu and Punjabi differences. Whatsoever, he fell for a Punjabi woman with a “khulla Dallas ishtyle” so ab hogya jo hona tha. Though often he complains about my Punjabi accent but seriously Its always a fun to tease him.. Anyway I just love it!! Great work, Cheers 🙂 ❤