This is that old-timey bicycle with the giant front wheel. I don’t understand how anyone ever learned to ride one, because the first time it crashed it would almost certainly kill the rider and anyone he landed on. 0.2/5

The hula hoop is a toy that you just kind of wriggle around inside and it keeps spinning around your waist. The world record for hula hooping is 74 hours and 54 minutes. My personal record is three. Not hours. Not minutes. Three times. 2.3/5

Bonsai is not actually a specific kind of tree, but a name for the practice of growing tiny trees. I’m actually really good at it, so long as no one specifies the tree has to still be alive within a month. I have literally never had a tree get tall. 2.9/5

This thing that old people do very slowly in parks and on beaches is actually a real live fighting style focusing on redirecting your opponents attacks. No one uses it anymore because looking like a10x speed senior citizen is both unsettling and embarrassing. 2.0/5