I am Red. I am a Survivor. This is my journey.

Day 1, dose 1!

My inability to sleep last night had me up just after 4am, my mind racing with things that I could do. After trying to force myself back to sleep, I decided to tackle my list and spent the next few hours accomplishing many of the activities for the day. Mostly computer work, I zoned out in the living room to try and get a little ahead of the paperwork, appointments and shuffle of this diagnosis.

A little after 7am, I ventured back into the bedroom. The sun was just over the horizon, streaming in through the bright half circle window above our bedroom window. My sweet husband and our little man were snuggled together, inseparable in the morning light. I stood over them for a while; careful not to wake them and yet so conscious of that very moment in time. I know it is fleeting but it is mine. They will never be that old or that young again. They will never be quite so innocent and yet completely niave. I will hold the moment – and them – dear, always.

This morning I took my first dose of Xeloda after a breakfast of fresh fruits. I’m washing it down with a fresh juice, courtesy of last night’s meal prep assistance. I don’t know what the effects will be but I am optimistic and feel that this medicine will help kick my cancer to the side for now. That is my prayer today.

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4 thoughts on “Day 1, dose 1!”

Those early morning hours are sometimes a gift. Sending light and love that the new medicine will help all your cancering cells remember how to share, rest and most importantly how to die so they can be recycled. Most of your trillions of cells know how to be healthy, may the juice turn up the volume on their song to help the cancering cells move on.
Xo