I fake shop. Do you?

I've realized something a little troubling and creepy about myself in the last couple of weeks, which is that I'm way too entertained by shopping online. By spending literally a good 90 minutes a day trolling my favorite online boutiques — jcrew.com, shopbop.com, dvf.com, figleaves.com, neimanmarcus.com. And then filling up my shopping cart with all these beautiful fineries, like incredible, gorgeous dresses, cashmere sweaters, jewelry that I know would look amazing on me, because everything is 30, 40, 60 percent off. I fill up my shopping cart, and I won't stop until I feel I have literally been through every page on the site. On a lot of these sites I have to click on "New Arrivals" because I know the stuff in the online store so well. And then when it comes time to check out — I check out, literally. Like, click off the site.

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It's like going to a supermarket and visiting food. Filling your cart with cupcakes and goodies and ditching the cart somewhere by the entrance as you stroll out empty-handed. I'm spending so much time online shopping for others for the holidays, but yet I can't keep myself from imagining, welllll…maybe I'll buy myself this one thing, then one thing becomes 8,9,10 items. Then I abandon the online cart, feeling pure and empty and good. I know this is a little crazy; it's like shoporexia, right? But hey, trying times demand new approaches to living, and this is mine.