It's January; it's cold and grey; fifty per cent of your friends have given up the booze and the rest are boring on about their new diet. You can't afford new clothes and everything in your wardrobe has been worn to death. Sounds like you need a statement necklace.

As a size 14, I'd love to wear dainty chains or a teeny sideways cross, but anything thinner than a chipolata is lost on my frame, so I've become an expert at sniffing out bargainous bulky necklaces that make every drab winter outfit more exciting. If you're bigger than a size 12, everything casual looks slightly more scruffy, so adding a bit of ridiculous jewellery in the daytime is fine. It's practically law round my parts. Don't believe me? See my collection:

Now, back to you. If you don't usually wear massive baubles, this article may freak you out. But I'm not going to ease you in. By the time you get to the bottom you're going to be seeing rhinestones when you close your eyes. Embrace it.

Most of my costume collection is from good old H&M. Their current offerings aren't the most on point they have ever been (last year's neon range was outstanding) but they are still pretty reliable. Just make sure to give the rhinestones a wiggle and check for any missing ones before you leave the shop.

Primark is always worth a squizz, and they usually have more more interesting options in store than I can ever track down in their press shots. Check clasps work properly and give the back a good rub to see how long the fake gold will last. These babies are out from the end of Jan.

This beauty is from River Island, and I have a couple of vintage versions like this from junk shops that I always go back to when I want something more sleek for a night out. And it's a steal.

Of course there's far too much on etsy to show a cross-section, and at great prices if you find someone who isn't going to have your eyes out over postage. Just watch out for customs tax. Here's just a small selection of the gorgeous turquoise necklaces I found. I have something similar from Primark and I wear it every other day.

Zara excelled itself last year – sold out necklaces (including a gorge blue version of the black one below) are now going for twice the price on ebay. These are all from the US site because UK seems to be trying to sell off all the sale stuff before restocking, but check daily because their big necklaces are now a total blogger fave and get snapped up in days. No wonder, they are gorgeous and far more detailed than you would expect for £20.

Forever 21 may be overpriced in the UK compared to the US, but it's still way cheaper than Topshop for practically the same quality. Their jewellery department is MASSIVE, and I actually struggled to narrow this down to nine. Phew.

So, are you a fan of massive neck-breakers? Do you think these are all absolutely hideous? Am I a tragic magpie? DO tell...