Coming to America

It’s official, the Red Sox are the highest bidder in the Matsuzaka sweepstakes. Theo and crew now have 30 days to ink the deal that brings a top-notch starter to Boston. In addition, the deal would bring an entire culture change to Red Sox Nation, along with endless marketing opportunities that would more than pay back the the 51.1 million-dollar bid. Here are just a few…

Wally-san Dolls: The Japanese answer to the ever-popular Wally The Green Monster. The Sox walk a marketing tightrope with this one. Typically “green monsters” are not endeared by the Japanese culture since so many of them have destroyed their cities over the years. Perhaps the plan to have a Geisha companion for Wally-san will work out.

Kimono Night: Picture 35,000 fans showing up in traditional Japanese Kimonos, led by none other than Remdawg and DO in the booth. Then there’s this…The yukata, on the other hand, is more of an informal leisure clothing. It can even be worn without underwear and is very comfortable on hot summer days or after a hot bath.Should make for some interesting between-play banter.

Bullpen Gardens: No more tomato plants, sports fans. The bullpen will now include bonsai trees, waterfalls and wooden bridges. Lighting will be provided by stone lanterns.

Sushi Vendors: Peanuts and Sports Bars will go the way of the caveman at Fenway. Vendors will now be tossing Sushi to the newly-cultured fans. How popular will that be after 10 or 15 watered-down beers?

Other ideas being considered include a tea-only section in the bleachers, discounted tickets for anyone wearing white socks and sandals, and Sumo wrestling during the seventh-inning stretch. All winners. Welcome to Boston, Daisuke!