It was my first mission with the X-Men. According to Professor Xavier, there was some guy wandering through the Canadian wilderness in his underpants. It was our job to bring him back to Xavier's Institute. Some doctors and scientists did some really bad stuff to him. Obviously, they were done doing bad stuff to him whether they wanted to be or not. Problem was they wiped the guy's memory away and now he was just sitting in the snow by himself with no place to go.

Oh, right. Did I, like, mention it was snowing too?

We were split up into three pairs. Storm and Evan, Jean and Kurt, Scott and yours truly. Each group had its own set of instructions. If we found Mr. Underpants, we were supposed to radio the other two pairs. If he began moving, we were supposed to follow him. That's it. No approaching him. No talking to him. We were even supposed to remain completely hidden from him if we could. The adults insisted that Storm needed to be the one to deal with him because of how dangerous his mutation is. In a way, I could totally understand. The guy had, like, really long metal-coated claws that pop right out of his knuckles. And a heightened sense of sight, smell, and sound. And a healing factor. In spite of his circumstances, Mr. Underpants actually had quite a lot going for him out there. Except for one thing. I'll get to that later, I promise.

If you give it some serious thought though, I would have been the best person to talk him into coming back to the school with us. I mean, my mutation is intangibility. I could be standing less than an inch away from him and there's no way he could hurt me. Plus, he was tormented by adults. I'm mostly an adult too, but I'm still a teenager. You, like, get what I mean though, right? Mr. Underpants would totally trust me. This is what I tried to tell Storm and the Professor before we left. Of course, I'm new to the X-Men, so nobody would listen to me. The two of them just gave me a lecture about adults having more experience.

You'd think that searching for someone in the snow would be a piece of cake, but it wasn't. There were a lot of trees. Some had fallen over. Tons of dead twigs and branches were all over the ground too. Phasing through the debris, it was easier for me to walk. I could have moved, like, way faster, but Scott was in charge. He said we had to stick together. So we did. That is until we actually saw Mr. Underpants about fifty feet away. He was sitting up against a tree and it seemed like he was sleeping.

As Scott began telling the other two pairs that we found him and where we were, the guy's head popped up. If Mr. Underpants wasn't alert when we first spotted him, he definitely was now. He looked me right in the eye, then bolted in the other direction.

Yes, I knew I wasn't supposed to split up from Scott, but we found him and were supposed to follow the guy. So I ran after him, using my powers to phase through branches, trees, and pretty much anything else that dared to get in my way. I have to say, I was really proud of myself too. The guy was running fast, twisting and turning in all kinds of directions trying to lose me. I'm sure that if we were in a fair race, he would have succeeded too. I was keeping up with him pretty well though. This went on for about fifteen minutes. One thing I didn't count on was him having more energy than me. I mean, he'd been in the wilderness for who knows how long. He didn't have anything to eat. I know the professor said he was probably killing his own food and eating it raw, but yuck. I wasn't buying that at all.

I continued running, but my pace began to slow. Eventually, Mr. Underpants was so far ahead that I lost sight of him completely. There was, like, this hill all of a sudden. I was so focused on trying to spot the guy again that I didn't even realize it until I was already tumbling down it. Luckily a tree got in the way, bringing me to a stop. My ankle was twisted, like, big time. Between that and just being really sore from the fall, I couldn't stand up or even move much. There was no way I was going to make it back up the hill. Not without help anyway. I reached for my communicator, but it wasn't there. Guess I must have lost it along the way.

"Well, that's just great. I'm, like, stuck on the side of a hill with no way to call for help. Better hope the X-Men find me before Mr. Underpants does. He might be hungry." Right after I said that I heard a noise behind me. I turned my head and almost screamed. And almost peed my pants. There he was standing right above me.

"Who are you talkin' to?"

"Where are your underpants?"

"Where are your manners? Quit starin'."

It's like I said. Mr. Underpants had a lot going for him, except for underpants. He was, like, totally naked right in front of me. Not that I'm complaining, mind you.

"Oh. I'm. Sorry." You know, I said I was sorry, but I kept right on staring. You'd think I never saw a man's, uhm, "manliness" before. I have, but never quite that "manly" if you know what I mean. Or that close to my face for that matter.

Then it dawned on me that there's a reason why none of us were supposed to get this close to him. If he was going to do anything bad to me though, he probably would have already done it by that point. Still, you never know. So, I looked Mr. Under-, uhm, the guy right in the eye and gave him my very best 'please don't eat me for dinner' pout.

"You're not going to hurt me, are you?"

"Mmmm," he grunted, like he was actually thinking it over. Then he said, "Not much point in it. You seem to've done a pretty good job of that all by yourself." There was a smirk on his lips. The nerve of him!

"It is not funny that I fell. My ankle, like, really hurts now, thanks to you."

"What exactly do you think you're doin' out here, chasin' after me anyway?"

"I'm here to, uhm, rescue you."

"Ok, then." The guy sat down in the snow next to me. Did I mention that he wasn't wearing any underpants?

"Yeah, I need it to contact my teammates. I don't have any real way of getting in touch with them now."

"Oh, I see. You need me to rescue you." You could tell that Mr. Crazy Naked Guy was feeling really smug about it too.

"Oh, yeah? Well, you don't have any underpants!" A lame come back if there ever was one.

"Is that a 'yes' or a 'no'."

"No."

"You don't need to be rescued?"

"Nope."

"So, you're back to rescuing me then."

"Not on your life. You can freeze your naked tushy right off for all I care."

The guy shrugged and stood up. "I'll see ya around then." He started climbing up the hill.

"You're leaving me here?" I shrieked in disbelief.

"Yep," he called over his shoulder.

"Fine," I yelled back. Seconds after he reached the top of the hill, he was out of sight completely.

The sun was starting to set and the wind was picking up. I really blew this mission. He was sitting right here beside me and now he's gone. I could have been the one responsible for bringing him back to the school if I wasn't so stubborn. Guess I wasn't the best person to talk him into it after all, I thought to myself.

If you're lost, I know that the best thing to do is stay in one place so that you can be found easier. I thought that climbing to the top of the hill might make me easier to find though. As I tried to stand upright, my twisted ankle practically collapsed underneath me. I cried out in pain and fell on my butt.

"You big jerk! Of course I need you to rescue me." I shouted furiously into the air.

Wouldn't you know it? There he was, making his way back down the hill toward me. "Took ya long enough to admit it."

"What?" I couldn't believe it. It's like he had just been standing up there waiting for me to crack.

Once he got to where I was stranded, he knelt down on the ground in front of me.

"My name's Logan," he said, extending his hand.

At least the poor guy remembers his name.

"I'm Kitty," I replied, taking his hand in mine and squeezing it.

"Yeah, I know."

"How do you know my name?"

"Your professor's been talkin' to me in my head."

Woah. I knew that Professor Xavier was the world's most powerful telepath, but I had no idea he could actually communicate with someone in another country like that.

Logan pulled me over his shoulder and stood up. "I caught the scent of your 'X-Men' when I was up at the top. They shouldn't be too far away. I'll take ya to 'em."

"Did the professor tell you about our school? You're coming back with us, aren't you?" I asked hopefully.

"I suppose. Can't be worse than sittin' in the snow without any underpants," Logan said, smacking my rear with his hand.

"Ow!" It was more of a surprise than it was painful. "What did you do that for?"

"That's for bein' a pain in my ass."

I had a feeling there was going to be a lot more where that came from as soon as I got home.

"Is the professor, like, really mad at me?"

"What do you think, darlin'?"

"I think I might want to hide out here in the woods for a while."

Needless to say, I got into some pretty big trouble for not following orders. I'll spare you the details. In spite of my actions, Logan ended up coming to live at the school and has been with us ever since. He even wears clothes now.

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