You have a problem with abnormal sexual desires? The majority of people experience problems with living out their sexuality for many different reasons. The term "perversion" is very subjective and has to be seen in the proper cultural context. Some people even believe they are perverts, when they are in fact totally healthy.

Since there are many different reasons for, and different kinds of perversions, it is not easy to provide a simple "How-To" guide. The best advice is to get professional help.

Ad

What is perversion?

Psychologists use the term "perversion" for sexual desires and related patterns of acting, where those patterns heavily diverge from what most people see as normal. This means mostly, that the person doesn't aim at having relationships, but only looks for stimuli, which target the satisfaction of sexual impulses. Often the goal isn't sexual intercourse, but different activities. People, who feel attracted to children, animals or objects, are considered to be perverse. There are different kinds of perversions, for example

Exhibitionism (exposure of parts of the body to another person)

Fetishism (sexual arousal brought on by objects, situations or body parts not conventionally viewed as being sexual in nature)

Masochism (the tendency to derive pleasure, esp. sexual gratification, from one's own pain or humiliation)

Necrophilia (Sex with dead bodies)

Pedophilia (sexual attraction to children)

Sadism (Hurting and discriminating others)

Zoophilia (Sex with animals)

Voyeurism (Watching others having sex)

Coprophilia (Excrement)

It is healthy to have such fantasies, even to live some of them, unless they develop a strong pull to the point, where normal sexuality does not interest/satisfy you anymore (and of course, when people get harmed).

Causes of perversion

Becoming a pervert can be caused by different reasons, the most prominent being

suppression of emotions,

negation of the overall need for sexuality,

inaccurate self-image,

neurological malfunctions (which are rare),

social and cultural discrepancies,

Being perverse is usually a matter of habit. You start with finding out, that you like a certain thing and following the impulse. By repeating the pattern you get used to it until it is a normality to you, and all of a sudden you realize, that you are no longer within the mainstream.

There are two main forms, in which perversion may afflict you: It can just extend your spectrum of enjoyment, or it narrows it down. The latter is to be considered a problem.

Am I a pervert?

You are suffering a serious condition when your desires are causing problems in the real world. These may be

Being ashamed of what you want,

you harm yourself,

others feel offended,

others are harmed,

you tend towards illegal things,

the desires interrupt your life (E.g. you dare not to engage in a relationship),

and more.

Steps

1

Check your condition, by asking yourself: How much is your perversion preventing you from living a good life? Do people get hurt? Is the "perversion" really causing problems?

Ad

2

Write down a list, how and when your perversion influences your life.

3

Write a small text, where you explain to yourself, how getting rid of your perversion would change your life, in detail.

4

Admit to yourself that you are having troubles.

5

Decide that you want to be less of a pervert.

6

Prevent new perverted images and ideas from entering your head. Stay away from everything that increases your lust in that particular area.

7

Learn to watch yourself. Get to be aware of the impulse before you react on it. Meditation helps a lot for achieving this.

8

Practice to control yourself, not only in the area of your perversion, but in general.

9

Find rituals for redirecting the impulse to something better.

10

Instead of staring at her breasts, focus on her eyes and on what she has to say. If you catch yourself doing it, don't worry, but look into her eyes again. Recognize that your eyes are naturally drawn to look over another person's body, and that it is an instinct which will always be there.

11

Get used to "normal" practices again, by having "normal sex" increasingly more often.

Don't look at pornography if your problem is about having too much sexual thoughts.

14

Use a parental control tool from preventing you "unintentionally" opening porn web sites. If you have to unlock that software, this buys you some seconds to think again and direct the impulse somewhere else.

15

Keep it up. Like with any addiction, the longer you go without doing it, the easier it will be to be less of a pervert.

Ad

We could really use your help!

Can you tell us aboutshoulder holsters?

Yes

No

shoulder holsters

how to make a shoulder holster

Can you tell us abouthorses?

Yes

No

horses

how to much out a stall with shavings

Can you tell us aboutnebulizers?

Yes

No

nebulizers

how to clean a nebulizer

Can you tell us aboutrepairing couches?

Yes

No

repairing couches

how to fix a sagging couch

Thanks for helping! Please tell us everything you know about

...

Tell us everything you know here. Remember, more detail is better.

Tips

Provide Details.

Please be as detailed as possible in your explanation. Don't worry about formatting! We'll take care of it.
For example:Don't say: Eat more fats.Do say: Add fats with some nutritional value to the foods you already eat. Try olive oil, butter, avocado, and mayonnaise.

Tips

Think of your mind like a swimming pool, and the perverted images as algae. Once you get something disgusting into a pool, it takes a long time to get it out. but if you control the influx, and stop the algae that's already in the pool from reproducing, you can eventually cleanse your mind.

If you are married, you should really do something about your perversion. Try to find a way to talk about the situation with your partner. Professional assistance can help you with learning to overcome the fear of destroying your marriage.

Limiting the sexual images already in your head is of little value if you let your imagination run free.

Trying to hide your perversion will only increase pressure. You need a way to compensate. Find someone, you can talk to about it. It might be a bad idea to talk to persons with similar interests, as you would probably confirm yourself instead of making it better. Talk to someone, who wouldn't initially understand your perversion, to give you a chance for deeper reflection.

Do not get a boyfriend or girlfriend, unless you are able to talk about your perversion or find a healthy way to live (with) it.

Get help. Confide in a friend or family member. They can help you along your journey and make it easier. Contact supporting groups and/or professionals. If you're uncertain, any doctor can help you with further hints.

Intense thoughts tend to re-affirm themselves, when you allow them to fill your mind. Try to keep perverted thoughts and images out of your mind, without creating too much nor too little pressure, do small steps. Avoid things that affirm your perversion, such as porn, certain people. Try to observe, what is triggering intensive unwanted thoughts and try to avoid the triggers.

Warnings

It will be tough. Just work on it and don't expect it to happen overnight.

The above may be a much harder route than to learn to accept and enjoy your sexuality and that of women. If you can have compassion for yourself you will feel less like a pervert so women will stop reacting to you like you are a pervert then you can have a healthy loving relationship and you will forget ever feeling like a pervert.

Some women like a pervert. There's a big difference, though, between being a pervert and objectifying women. Sure, women can be attractive, and their images can inspire arousing thoughts, but the important thing to remember is that women are so much more. In fact, if you cultivate a loving, healthy relationship with a woman who you treat as an equal, and if you practice communicating as often as possible, then your sexual fulfillment usually can follow.

Share

Featured Articles

Meet a Community Member

Meet Hibou8, a wikiHowian of two years who is both a New Article Booster and Featured Author. He enjoys boosting new articles and finding articles to help save in the NFD Guardian. His proudest accomplishments are helping new editors find their feet and become great contributors. He appreciates how nice all of the community members on wikiHow are, and he enjoys being able to help with the mission alongside like-minded individuals. To new editors, he advises, dive into the Community Dashboard and start getting used to how we do things. “Don’t be afraid to make mistakes!”