FAQ

Monday, December 31, 2012

6 biggest douches of Kpop 2012

Make no mistake, under all those fapworthy female idols y'all love to look at, catchy and addictive songs (and shitty songs), variety shows, cheesy as fuck MVs etc. there's always a plenty worth of fuckwits in Kpop every year that deserve some serious hammering from a couple of angry Gryphon Riders.

And this year has its own share full of scandals and shit.

1. Closet Hell Entertainment

This nigga's shit ain't even worth writing in detail. Anyone reading Kpop news would know why. Even though I'm not happy he only got six fucking years in prison thanks to the Korean justice system being as pussy as some of the countries in Europe, I'm hoping that some or even one of the inmates, hell, maybe even the prison guards, terrorize this motherfucker every day.

2. Kim Kunt Soo

Getting tired of even talking about this guy's shit of 2012. Keeps on grasping at straws. With T-ara knocked out of Korea again thanks to that recent clusterfuck of a controversy about advertising for a gambling machine, now he's even putting Co-Ed and its sub-unit SPEED into a comeback even though nobody really gives much of a fuck about them and that the chances of them flopping like Gangkiz is pretty much 99.9%.

If anyone wants to think who is the most incompetent, dumb and retarded CEO of K-pop agencies of all time, this man's your pick. THIS is his KKS's true form under the disguise of a greasy old pedophile wearing a turtleneck or collar shirt. The difference is in his true form...well, he's just a heck lot more hairier and probably even a lot more greasy.

I suspect he's possibly like this in his office really, considering his management skills are probably even less advanced than that of a caveman and a lot of the bull he says is so contradictory that even a damn politician sounds like a honest sane folk in comparison. In other words, a troglodyte.

Boy oh boy, one could wonder how much body hair KKS has under his clothes and Dani's reaction to it (unless she has a fetish for those that are half-men and half-gorilla or some shit).

RIP to the T-ara members that are stuck with giving him blowjobs and shit. I can't imagine all that pubic hair and odor. I don't think even a gas mask would save me.

3. Leeteuk aka Mosquiteuk or Shitteuk

. Making a big deal about your national military service by whining like a four year old kid as if you're the first celebrity going to the army. Check.

. Asking for sasaeng fans to hunt you down all the way to the barracks, only to tweet that you don't want them to do so. Check.

. Avoiding actual military service by performing musicals. Check.

. Using your status as a celebrity to get awards in the military that you haven't done jack shit to work for. Check.

SM, stay the fuck out of military affairs. You're making the whole ROK Army look like a goddamn embarrassment and it also doesn't help that Boom, KCM and Rain have the largest amount of leaves out of all celebs that did mandatory service - the latter who got a total of 2 months worth of leave, which is probably several times more than that of the average soldier there. If one of your precious idols is going to the military, stop being like a fucking nanny state, suck it up like a man and get over it. It's not like the Norks are going to kidnap and hold them at ransom for a billion bucks aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I've probably said a bit too much.

4. Yang Hyun Suck/Epik Fail

The deadly demon known as Yang Hyun Satan gruesomely murdered Epik High and anally raped their souls day and night in the burning pits of Hell while forcing the influence of demonic YG'ism from Big Bang and 2NE1 down their throats. All the constant torture and agony transformed the famous Epik High into Epik Fail, accompanied by a live plastic mannequin that vaguely resembles Daffy Duck and has a terrible case of cheap cosmetic surgery (or the plastic surgeon turned out to be a demon himself so a pretty result can't be expected) and seems to think screeching is considered singing.

Okay, to put it simply, Epik High's comeback sucked balls and I blame YG and Yang Hyun Suck for the biggest role into it. And of course, let's not forget his over-exaggeration of his own company in public interviews and shit, followed by the hordes of YG stanners that see him as their deity.

5. Seungri

There is nothing badass about jizzing on the girl you're banging and not cleaning it up yourself. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman would also tell Seungri that he doesn't have the goddamn courtesy to give people a reach-around after fucking them in the ass.

On the other hand, some will know that his appearance is very, very similar, if not the same as Dani the Giraffe. At some point, Seungri found that Dani is his long-lost sister or some shit and upon when he heard she's to be put into T-ara, he decided that he could show his sibling love by having G-Druggin and POT teach her how to rap.

Full results have yet to show but godspeed to the ears of those who hear Dani's 'rapping' in the future. It could be worse than Taecyeon and Chansung's rythmic talking. Be sure to get yourself some earplugs!

Lastly, I'd bet that Seungri won't wipe his jizz off even after making sibling love with his long-lost sister.

6. Rain

"According to data, Rain took 62 vacation days and overnight leaves just this year. Excluding national holidays, Rain took 13 stand-down days and 5 special vacation days. He took 10 official overnight leaves, the most out of any celebrity, and took 34 unofficial overnight leaves, the second most out of any celebrity after KCM‘s 52 overnight leaves"

Yea, I mentioned Rain above and the officers in charge of whatever unit he is were probably a bit too lenient and have their own faults in this too but 62 days is just whacked. That's over twice the amount you can get in the US military and probably several times more than what you get in the South Korean military as the average Joe.

I guess the urge to bang some random chick in the club at night is too hard for him to control. From the looks of it, he certainly doesn't look like he'd spend a whole night playing Starcraft at the internet cafe.

So who do you think is also a noteworthy douche of 2012 in the Kpop world?

Let's hope 2013 is the year Epik pull a Suge Knight on YG and dangle him over a balcony by his feet. The amount of people that kigga has ripped off and screwed over there's a bullet out there with his name on it. I pray it's delivered at close range right between his eye sockets.

It's not Seungri's fault that the bitches he's hitting don't understand the basics of being a groupie. That trick was dumb as hell. Serious groupies walk around with turkey basters in their purses. If she really wanted revenge she could have sapped up some of his man milk and got herself pregnant.

I don't mind slapping sasaeng fans. If I was a cop, I wouldn't hesitate to use my baton to chase them off. They're crazy and mentally retarded fuckwits who need to see a psychologist or even a good lengthy stay in a mental hospital anyway.

As for whoever that Teen Pot fag is, hopefully he won't have children or finds out that he's incapable of reproduction.

Yea well, the crazy jackass who's number one got convicted of raping minors and coercing others into sex with his grubby subhuman ass and pea-sized dick, forcing male idols and trainees to rape female trainees and actually jacking off to that shit from a security camera, not to mention he was a boss of a street gang. In other words, something like of a sadist/psycho. Sounds more than enough to be placed #1.

As much as the possibility of KKS doing the same thing is likely high, the cops have yet to bust his ass hence why he was placed #2. Management incompetence and mental retardation can't be seen as more shitty than what that subhuman freak did.

What if its what epik high has wished for? I mean looking back, Tablo signed with YG instead of persuading his previous label after a 2 year hiatus because of his scandal. influence by his wife -who's also in yg- maybe?

nonetheless his solo album back in 2011 was very good and very authentic to what an epik high release would be.

Now after members regroup they immediately signed with yg. was it their only choice or was it because of tablo's 4-years-contract? Why couldn't they release something similar to what tablo did in 2011? weren't they having a change of heart?

I think there's more to that than just YG deciding he owns their souls

actually fever's end didn't touch anything epik high had ever created and while bad was a better release than the shit idols are releasing these days, it didn't actually have a lot of musical integrity - it was basically another yg club banger with a slight twist to it.