Last evening I watched a very typical TBM grandmother do her "duty" for the Lord. In front of everybody at the Multi-family Mother's Day dinner/party she called out one grandson:

"And what's the status of your mission papers?!" she demanded in a stern accusatory tone.

How often I see this kind of scolding in the church. Sometimes it comes down from a jerk bishop or an asshat stake president. Much more frequent is Peon on Peon action. Sister Rassmussen just can't keep her nose out of everybody else's business. She's just too happy to correct the parenting of every new mother in the ward. Then there's brother Terry who is the self appointed hair policeman. He'll unload on every young man who's hair is dangerously close to actually touching a shirt collar. God help any grown man who dares to grow a beard:

"You don't see the brethren wearing facial hair do you?!"

I'm not suggesting that every Mormon is a self righteous, pompous weenie but there are enough of them to get the job done. They taint the whole experience. They may just be the reason all the other TBMs are so willing to believe X-mos left because they were offended. They know who the offensive ones are and what they are capable of doing.

This is the kind of very tight, in-house, expectations of the religious familial, social culture of Mormonism and why I have found it is best understood as a tribe.

As we know, they have designated themselves as one of the Tribes of Israel with specific responsibilities in the "last days" given to the personal in their Patriarchal Blessing.

Everything within Mormonism, from birth to death, is choreographed into acceptable behaviors of their tribe. It's all geared into a familial package that is eternal.

So, yes, I would expect the patriarch or matriarch of the family to be highly tuned into the progression of those highly emotionally bonded expectations of the course of the lives of their offspring as it pertains to the ceremonies/rituals designed to take the person from birth to death to an eternal life. And yes, it's tribal in nature in all aspects.

This religious system is not unlike thousands of others of a that has been practiced throughout the history of humanity. Many are still in existence today in different places of the world.

So, from my standpoint, I take an objective, outsider view.It requires nothing emotional from me, just an active curiosity about all religions with a strong cultural, familial nature.Almost all are patriarchal in nature, still today.

There are great responsibilities placed on the patriarchal and matriarchal positions in a family in Mormonism. Some are more strict and conservative and orthodox than others.But the ultimate goal, is to do what they believe Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ has commanded them to do.

And so, yes, we'll see every kind of human behavior within this system of the tribal nature of Mormonism. Some of it will be ugly, extremely authoritative, and often strange, and offensive to the outsider. I find that to be true for how I look at many religions.

And in the case of the OP: it will often be something others think is minor and of no consequence, yet, in the truest sense of the believer, it's part of the culture and requirements that are designed to please their deity and savior.

and so it goes...folks, and that's Mormon culture.... from my observation and long time believer immersed in it like a tub of cold water, initially! :-)

I was initially taken-aback by the general boundary-less statements by some LDS folks that came off as offensive.

Then I realized, that they are just doing what their culture expects, and it's not about me, so why am I getting offended? That's not necessary.

So, I made a conscious decision to take my power back and not allow anyone to offend me! Ahh..what freedom.It's nearly impossible to offend me now. It requires that I TAKE offense, and I just really, can't be bothered! :-)

Yes, the LDS folks often seemed out of order with their statements in the rest of the world, but that is their culture and their world.

I don't live there anymore. As a convert, their cultural norms are really much more jarring than being raised in Mormonism all your life, I think. It takes some adjustments.

But, now the idea of owning my own power, shuts down anyone that is attempting to draw me in emotionally or stir up things.I just keep my position and they have no power! Wish I had figured that out a few decades ago, but it serves me well now!