Before Alessandra was born, Raffi had never watched more than background news or the occasional music video. For the first two months after Alessandra’s birth, when I was figuring out nursing and being a mom of 2, Raffi probably watched 1.5 hours a day of television. I wasn’t proud of it, but I did what I had to do. Now I’m back to being a more strict TV mom.

I’m mostly anti TV. I feel that my children learn most when they

A. have a safe environment with basic toys to explore

or

B. are helping me do adult things like clean the house or bake muffins.

Having the TV on does not provide either environment.

I hate it when the TV is on during dinnertime or bedtime – not just for my kids but for myself. If the TV is on during dinner, I feel that I overeat. If the TV is on at bedtime, I don’t think I sleep as well during the night. These are just my personal observations, but I imagine that the same can be true for many, including my kids.

Now that we are heading into the peak of the holiday season, I think it’s fair to say that I struggle with TV time and my kids. I like to set the max at 30 minutes a day INCLUDING what I like to call “secondhand TV”. Just because it’s the news and not a cartoon doesn’t mean my kid isn’t looking over at it.

I have only a few exceptions – when my kids are sick, when it’s a very special holiday and late in the evening and all the kids are ready to get into jammies and watch a movie, and Friday night movie nights. On Friday nights throughout the cold months we’ve been letting Raffi get tucked into our bed, stay up a little late, and watch a short movie all snuggled up with us.

That scene is my favorite – a toddler in his adorable polar bear jammies, fresh out of the bath and tucked in with his mom and dad to watch a Christmas movie. It’s the opposite of the glazed over look that I so despise.

I am far from perfect, and TV time is something with which I struggle daily. It would be so easy to just let the kids watch a show while I’m preparing dinner or blowing out my hair. But I just don’t do it… most of the time. I’m a work in progress.

Sabrina, of RhodeyGirl Tests, had her first boy in September 2011 with her husband Trig. At the time of this post Raffi was 26 months old and Alessandra was 8 months old. You can read other related posts on her blog.

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We have six kids of varying ages, but the rule for the toddler/preschooler/kindergartner is one show a day after naps/quiet time. The older kids have no TV time during the school week, mostly because they are inevitably on the computer a bit for schoolwork (and maybe 20 minutes of a computer game, but this isn’t the norm). On Fridays or Saturdays, the older kids can watch a movie after the younger ones are in bed and sometimes we have football on for a couple of hours on Sundays after church. We’re pretty strict. I have not found that this is the norm among our peers and friends.

http://www.rhodeygirltests.com Sabrina Garibian

Those boundaries seem fair to me.

Andrea

My son never watched much TV until his sister was born. Then we would let him watch a small amount but quickly realized that any TV caused him to turn into a little monster! Now the only time he gets to watch a show is when we are cleaning the house. It works well for us!

http://www.rhodeygirltests.com Sabrina Garibian

Mine becomes a little monster with too much TV. With just a little he is fine, but if we pass maybe 30 minutes he becomes a little devil. I can’t believe I forgot to mention that.

Bev

It’s so trendy right now to say “I’m anti-tv” when really TV can be a great tool.

My kids have watched WAY more than any parents on here would every admit. At the same time it’s a lot of quality and “active” tv (i.e. shows that have participation where they get up and dance) and thanks to that they are all way above the academic level they should be at.

It depends on what they are watching, not just how much.

I have found the more rules you make against tv/computers, the more they desire it. We’re not super strict on it and they are pretty indifferent toward it as a filler.

mommamel

Bev, I couldn’t disagree more, both with your classification of fibbing/fudging parents AND with your assertion that it’s super trendy to be anti-TV because it’s such a great tool. I argue that actually READING to and with your kids, talking to them constantly, engaging them in the world, teaching them to be productive, letting them run free (within reason), giving them plenty of opportunity to be ‘bored’, and teaching them instead of relying on an inanimate box to accomplish these things is far, FAR and away a better system. I can see the benefit of educational TV as a resource for kids with less-than-ideal home lives or parental involvement, however, but I don’t think that’s what you’re talking about.

http://www.rhodeygirltests.com Sabrina Garibian

I really love the concept of allowing your kids to be bored. I think my son became a great independent player after some long, boring car rides. Boredom leads to a lot of creativity I think.

Bev

@#4 momamel- Of course we read, engage, outdoor play etc. I just also allow them to enjoy quality television. Television is not the devil. Clearly you are projecting of your own fears/inadequacies onto my post.

Faith

I work from home so my two-year-old ends up watching more TV than I’d like. These days I get up at 5 and finish half my workload before he wakes up at 7, and then I do the other half while he’s napping, but sometimes it doesn’t work out that way, and when I can’t keep him occupied with an activity while I work, I’ll end up putting on Sesame Street or a movie for him. Generally, I keep it to 1.5 hours a day max, but I try to keep most days TV-free if I can. If I can’t, then I just make sure he has lots of outdoor time and interaction time with my husband and I the rest of the day. For example, even if he does watch a movie one morning, we always read 4-5 books before bedtime, since that’s the only way he can wind down and fall asleep.

My 2 cents

@mommamel, my son does not have a less than ideal home life or uninvolved parents. We use educational tv as a resource. We read to our son several times a day. We have daily craft time. He has tons of independent playtime. He “helps” mommy prepare meals. We explore the outside world on walks & at park (weather permitting). And we still watch tv. I’m strict about what he watches, must be educational & interactive, and we watch/participate together. We will have movie days a couple days a month, usually bad weather days, but I choose movies with alot of singing and dancing and we join in. I hate the implication that parents who allow more tv than others deem appropriate are uninvolved and homes are less than ideal, pretty judgemental based on generalized assumptions.

Emily K

I try to limit my 16-month-old daughter to about an hour a day, and then almost always PBS shows like Sesame Street or Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood. She usually watches Daniel Tiger in the morning while I’m getting ready for work, and she might watch a few minutes here or there later in the day, either with her babysitter or while she’s waiting for dinner after my husband and I get home. I’m certainly not anti-TV – like all good things, I think it’s fine in moderation.

mommamel

I guess what I’m seeing here is that involved parents want to push TV (in whatever amount) as a ‘resource’ when in actuality, it’s a break or a babysitter. Honestly, you can justify all you want…no matter to me, but at least be honest about it. We don’t do more TV at our house because we don’t classify it as a learning tool. It is what it is, a boob tube…it will never ever replace actual, human interaction. Fun at times, yes. I love movie nights and I’m fine with my littles watching a show here or there. I really am fed up with people trying to justify it – just own the fact that your kid watches a lot of TV. Different strokes for different folks.

http://www.followerincrease.com Buy Followers

Really great article and I feel as though most kids watch too much television. I try to put on interactive television shows to spark our little ones imagination!

Roogirl

Ok, I’ll own it. Mine watch quite a bit of tv. I really don’t know how much because I’m not standing over them with a timer and a whistle. However they ALSO get plenty of outdoor exercise, social time, playtime with other toys, and we read to them each night. I don’t consider it an educational tool (although it CAN be), but there is room for tv time amongst other things in life, folks. In a world of many things to stress about, I’m just not going to work myself into a tizzy if they watch five more minutes in a day then they should. Everything in moderation!

Leah

Eh, watching a movie is not all that different than reading a book to me. Both are forms of entertainment that spark their imaginations.

I’m laid back about this – if you make it forbidden fruit it’s all they want. If you allow them some freedom about it then they aren’t that into it.

I just find the smug “sanctimommies” annoying. The “oh my precious little snowflakes don’t watch tv because I’m such a special mommy”. What they say and what actually happens in their homes are 2 different things. If you let your kids watch junk, then yes there should be a strict limit. Interactive, educational programs, I’m okay with. Once again, not all day, but more than 20 minutes for sure.

Page

Where is the quality, educational, interactive TV everyone is talking about? I’ve watched PBS and many cable channels and all of their shows are crap. Reading rainbow is a nice show that is available on iTunes. We watch that. What else is there? Please tell me.

http://www.rhodeygirltests.com Sabrina Garibian

I am wondering the same thing.

Kristen N

Ah, Sabrina, you have lit the match on the first cannon in a mommy war. Mom 1: I’m a better parent than you because my kid doesn’t watch tv. Mom 2: No, I’m a better parent because I let my kid watch only educational programs and he’s learning from them, and Mom 1, you are too strict. Mom 3: Mom 1 is right, and Mom 2 you are a terrible parent and projecting your own insecurities onto the rest of us…and so on. It’s exhausting keeping up with all the different ways some of us are terrible moms. Do I let my kid watch tv? Of course. Does he watch too much? Sometimes. Do I read to him, enroll him in physical activities, play outside with him? Sure. I bet you all do too. Give each other a break for once!

http://www.rhodeygirltests.com Sabrina Garibian

Whoops! I honestly didn’t realize this was part of the mommy wars. I thought the mommy wars were only for formula vs. breastfeeding and cry it out vs. other sleep stuff.

Momof2

Page- SuperWhy is a great one that teaches reading and the alphabet. And Team Umizumi is another good one that teaches numbers, shapes and math. Because of Umizumi, my 4 year old knew what dodecahedron was… Meanwhile, I had to google it. Lol. I agree with one of the other posters, everything in moderation. There are educational shows out there and nothing wrong with some fluff TV for fun!

jane

I’m not going to get into the whole tv is the devil thing. It’s like anything else. My kids have sugar sometimes, they have fast food sometimes, they go to bed late sometimes. Perfect parents make neurotic kids 😉 As for tv, pace is important. Little Bear is such a sweet, calm show. Dora is great and there is a long line of really well written books that the children can turn to as well.

TV is great when they’re sick, too tired to play at the end of the day when you’re making dinner, etc. My two year old sometimes wakes very grumpily from his nap if he wakes at the wrong time in his sleep cycle and a 30 minute show can help with the transition. Sometimes my older children have been playing together all day and need a break from negotiating and being busy and will enjoy a show together.

Actually, I think background tv is worse, it’s distracting and often violent. If the tv is on we’re watching it, if it’s not, we’re not.

BTW, we read a ton, all of my children are great “players” and we’re outside all the time. everybody likes a little screen time once in a while!

http://www.rhodeygirltests.com Sabrina Garibian

I completely agree about background TV!

Kaitlyn K

my 2 cents – amen!

Page – the “tv show” itself need not be interactive. Parents can interact with their children while watching TV. Ask questions. Discuss what you see.

And I think the news in the backgrounds (guns, shooting, violence you name it) is worse in the background than a TV show.

Jamie

I’m on the “tv is fine in moderation” gang.

Also totally agree w/#14 – this is part of the mommy wars.

For those who havent’ found any here are some quality interactive tv that I’ve found:
Play with me Sesame and Sesame Street
Ready Steady Wiggle
Vocabulary
Peek-a-boo
Notekins
Mickey Mouse Clubhouse
Super Why
Little Einsteins
Lazy Town
Sprout Sunny Side Up Show (includes learning about the days of the week, months, weather, eating healthy, and DITs – do it togethers)
Sprout Goodnight Show (includes learning Spanish, Sign Language AND yoga poses)

Tracy

I won’t comment on the tv watching part. I honestly think each parent has to make that call.

I will comment on the plasma car! I have 4 boys (3 of them under 5). This plasma car IS A HUGE HIT at our house. I highly recommend it. We actually use it as an inside active toy (on hardwood floors).

http://www.kristibug.com Kristi

Hubby has a strict policy and since he was home with them while I went back to work, it’s his deal! When I was home with them, they got to watch an hour after nap time for Mommy’s sanity and finishing up work.

The last few years though, they only get Friday movie night. No TV during the week or weekends. They can do some homework stuff on the computer.

They only get their iPads during road trips.

My kids are super creative and get bored and will play with each other for hours. I love it.

However, I think they should have more computer time for games and things, so it’s a process. I’ve been giving them an hour during the weekends (or thinking about it) for good behavior. If there is bad behavior, 5 minutes gets taken off.

QUENDALE WARD

Hello…I’m not a big fan of TV but I dont think watching TV is bad but it should be limited to one hour. There are many activities and craft ideas to do than watch TV. There are good children programs on TV and chilren need to keep up with the newest programs for them.

Lindsay Weiss

I treat TV like I do junk food — I don’t forbid it but I don’t serve it or make it available every day. Most days they don’t watch any TV (and honestly, there isn’t much time to). Occasionally, on a weekend, they’ll watch it all afternoon. If I need them to be occupied, I don’t hesitate to put something on to make my life easier. But, in general, with my kids the more I set limits on something it becomes something “special” and the main object of desire. If I go with the flow, so do they.

And I never judge anyone for letting their kiddos watch tv. There are much bigger fish to fry!

Irishmama7

So the most my kids are ever allowed to watch is 2 hrs a day. A normal week day the smaller ones get 45 mins to an hour (mainly while I’m eating or making dinner) and the oldest (2nd grade) gets 30 mins. They watch PBS. We have Family movie night maybe once a month where we get pizza or take out and eat and watch a movie. Sick days and some holiday specials (parades) are different, also we (DH & I) like football and will watch the game, but the kids may watch for 20 mins or so and then they are done. The only other exception times are: #1 Grandparents/babysitters (I try to limit during the day so this doesn’t matter), #2 When I’m pregnant and NEED 20 mins of no one calling “mommy”, #3 when I am at the end of my rope. The kids really don’t fuss much, I mean sometimes they don’t want to turn in off, but they play toys and non screen games more than they watch tv. It works for us!

deja

my kids watch way too much. im working on it though

Sandra

I would say one hour a day, but sometimes more. I start to feel bad about myself once it gets to 1.5 hours (and I try never to go over that). He is 3 years old. I also have a 5 months old (and I admit during my pregnancy when I was really sick it was more and I was NOT happy about it). What helps me fight the guilt is he watches TV only in Hebrew (my husband’s native language). It truly helps BOTH our Hebrew!! Still, I want to rely less on it on the weekend. I’d love to get down to zero hours a day (we can do that SOMETIMES during the weekday, but hardly ever happens on the weekend). Maybe when weather is better! I dont find this article offensive–it reminds me I need to work harder to find more to do with my toddler!

Beth

We don’t strictly monitor it. We unplug on school nights at 6pm and we stay busy on weekends so there are better options. Otherwise my kids (7 and 2) self regulate. There is one TV in the house so competition helps control things as well.

I don’t make a big deal out of educational TV for kids. Frankly, I’d rather they not associate the TV with educational content since its not a trustworthy source.

lia

We watch a show in the morning while preparing for school. In the evening, if I am with my son, we watch videos on YouTube rather than TV. We go from watching tractors to watching “MINUSCULE” (really funny films about bugs) to how we make bells to Heidi or Pingu or how planes are recycled to old Merry Melody videos. I have found that it allows him to learn much, he watches shows that are far milder, non violent etc than what is actually on television, we watch together my old favorites which is the occasion for some “when you were my age” bonding (very tender! My son is very funny when he realises I used to be 4 ages ago), and we both learn amazing things (from tractor brands and colours to steel making…).
When my husband is with him, there is more tv time, but hey, it’s men time and they do what they want. I’m not going to spend my time monitoring what they do together.
In total, my son has 1 hour max of screen time per day, but not random tv shows. We take DVDs and YouTube anytime everyday and he watches either with me or from a distance that I closely supervise while cooking etc. Oh, and no TV in bedrooms (parents room included. When bedtime is there, we hug and kiss or read or both.

http://waslivingdownunder.blogspot.ca Was Living Down Under

Well said Lindsay Weiss! That is exactly the approach I take.

Elfrieda

I love the show “Wibbly Pig”; it’s not ‘educational’, it’s more about stomping in rain puddles, showing how to blow bubbles, providing a chant to help a little kid remember how to make a sandcastle, pretending a box is a boat/bus/rocket ship, etc. My 4 year old watches it every morning. (20 minutes)

With computer and tv lumped together, I’d say he gets about 30-60 minutes of screen time per day. I’m okay with that, although if it’s been an hour for several days in a row, I definitely notice it in his behaviour and have to cut way back.

We also do a family movie night with popcorn every weekend, which I love! (but very few movies are available for a nightmare-prone 4 year old boy, am I right? We’re rotating Ponyo, Winnie the Pooh, My Neighbor Totoro, and I’m thinking of trying Curious George. We also do edited versions of WALL-E and Finding Nemo, but it’s not very relaxing to have to sit on top of the fast-forward button. Any other suggestions?)

Andreo

When I was starting school at age 5 my television wasn’t very restricted. While waiting to leave for school I was allowed to watch programs such as Mr. Rodgers and a show that was broadcast on WGN named Garfield Goose.
This was only after I bathed, was dressed, and ate breakfast.

After school I could watch after changing cloths and doing homework. Normally this was an episode of the Brady Bunch and something on PBS such as The Electric Company. After dinner I could watch about an hour of prime time television with the rest of the family (their choice).

Weekends was a few cartoons (mostly Bugs Bunny) and it was off to do chores until lunch.
Sunday was Wild Kingdom, The Lone Ranger, Sisco Kid, and Family Classics.

I think I had a pretty healthy amount of television without over doing it. What I watched was pretty closely monitored and the television did not see a lot of on time. The shows I mentioned is pretty much all I watched in a week.

I’m expecting my first kid in about 4 months. I hope to let them watch a bit of television but not to the point where they think they need to watch it to be entertained.

My current step daughter (10) on the other hand is obsessed with watching anything. To the point where we have to take away the tablet or portable DVD player so she would have a look at the mountain range we were driving through at Mt. Rushmore instead of watching High School Musical for the 40th time.

If we let her. She will spend the entire summer on the couch watching Netflix and DVD’s of television shows.

http://www.itsbaby.com Carol Johnson

I was raised that we can watch as much TV as we like and I don’t see a problem with it as long as they are watching show that are educational or age appropriate. They don’t need to be watching it all day and they need to be outside playing too. I am one who can’t sleep without noise, so I have to have the TV on when I go to sleep. I have been this way since I was young. If they fall asleep with the TV on its fine. Sometimes it helps them fall asleep and eliminates being scared of the dark because they is sound to distract the other scary noises.

A person’s attitude mostly depends on the environment and the way they have been brought up. In recent times Television puts a huge impact on the kids nowadays. They get inspired a lot from the programs they watch, so parents should be more cautious about what their kids are watching in the TV. Few years back in the age of analog TV it was really hard to control the channel their kids were watching, but thanks to digital TV that there are now various type of packages which includes Movie package, children package and much more allowing the parents to provide a smooth guidance.

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