Mila continued, “Stop saying ‘we’re pregnant… You’re not pregnant! Do you have to squeeze a watermelon-sized person out of your lady-hole? No.”

She added, “Are you crying alone in your car listening to a stupid Bette Midler song? No. When you wake up and throw up, is it because you’re nurturing a human life? No. It’s because you had too many shots of tequila. Do you know how many shots of tequila we had? None. Because we can’t have shots of tequila. We can’t have anything because we’ve got your little love goblin growing inside of us. All you did was roll over and fall asleep.”

In other news, a source claims Ashton Kutcher has been policing her diet and exercise during the pregnancy.

The source admits, “Ashton has been policing Mila about her pregnancy, diet and workout regime, and sulking when she blows off exercising or juicing with him.”

“Ashton has always been weird about Mila’s diet, even before she became pregnant, but now it’s a whole other level of torture for her,” the source added. “Ashton is really hard on Mila but it’s also because they have known each other since they were kids, so there has always been a weird, and sometimes mean, brother-sister dynamic to their relationship.”