The Hills Have Aes Sidhe

So, this is the morning of the Great Hunt. I was looking forward to tracking down that True Fae, sadly, it wasn’t meant to be. We started off our day with a meal down at Ambrosia’s Diner. A single stack of 85 pancakes to get things moving. Fueled and ready for ass kicking, we head down to the designated meeting location for the beginning of the festivities.

Double surprise move by King Bart. First, he has no cupcakes at the event. Second, he declares the target of this hunt is none other than Roz! Everyone sits around staring at each other, kind of shocked. Bart continues by giving her a 3 minute head start. Roz disappears into the wind – and I mean that literally. I’m not sure if she turned into wind or leaves or what, but she just vanishes. Pretty trippy.

My crew and I huddle up to determine our best course of action. Roz was a crazy psycho who has done some exception bad shit of late. Clearly Bart was over her shenanigans, but none of us had any desire to hunt her down. We decide to along with this hunt thing, but to drag our feet. Let some other bunch of heroes be in the first wave. Hell, if we’re lucky we’ll go in the wrong direction and not even be forced into making a decision.

We had noticed Ryan eyeing Roz and really gotten a bad feeling about what was being left unsaid there. Gerry ends up tailing Ryan towards the mountains and somehow, despite trying to avoid it all, we end up smack in the middle of the action.

Gerry and Ryan are having a few words while the wind picks up and the leaves begin to rustle. I decide it’s best to try and diffuse the situation when it starts to hail – I guess that might be a problem for people who don’t have stone skin. While Ryan and Gerry are talking, Ryan just start shooting fire off into the middle of nowhere. Weird time to just be showing off, but hey, I can do that too. I pull out some of my best moves, pretty sure everyone is wicked impressed. All of a sudden, all hell breaks loose.

Something is wailing on Gerry, Ryan, and I. Gerry then attacks Ryan! Gerry – bad dog! Ryan totally saved my bacon, Imma have to try and separate these two before someone gets really hurt so I grab a hold of Gerry and restrain him. Roz keeps up her attacks, but with every action, I can feel fresh reserves of strength course thru my veins. I let go of Gerry and try to get between the three of them to settle things down. Too late – I see Ryan go limp and start bleeding. A red curtain drops on my vision and I pretty much lose all sense of control. I’m on top of Roz with my trusty sledgehammer, Lucille and start landing blow after blow. Joey has had enough, he walks right up to Roz with his double barrel, puts it right to her head and pulls the trigger. Game over man, game over.

Gerry is still looking a little crazy, so I pin him against a tree until he settles down. I’m feeling pretty confused at this point. This is not how I imagined this day would go. Lost in thought, I’m snapped out of it when a much calmer Gerry asks for a protein bar. Of course, who’s a good boy!

Dazed over these events, we make our way back to Bart’s place. He is ecstatic. A celebration ensues – this is all too much. I need a vacation…Nashville?

Dear Journal, it's been too long. Where do I even start, so much has happened over the past few days/months. I still struggle to understand how the days we spent in The Hedge have translated into months back here in the world. As always, onward and upward. My crew of misfits and I have found ourselves at the center of a torrent of bad news. I decided to cut loose the captive we had captured and tied up in the trunk of the car. I have no stomach for such violence. Jerry has placed some tracking mechanisms on his devices so that we can follow him, if need be. Jerry's a good boy. This weird bird continues to taunt us, our attempts to capture it have been fruitless. We'll need to pay close attention to this thing – it's unnatural.

We decide to start the day with a hardy lunch at Frank Guido's Port of Call. We also call Bart on the way over and ask him to meet us there. Time to put our cards on the table and see where we stand. The rib eye, while not the best, was ideal for a man size meal – best lunch I've had in a while. Bart arrives after we are done eating and are eyeing a boat across the dock. (we actually got a nice deal on that boat and bought the thing while we wait). We fill him in on the latest in the mixed up world in which we have found ourselves. He is interrupted by a call from Roz in which he states she will need to pull double duty, but will not need to coordinate the 'ash run' this year. Bart later explains that this Ash Run is also known as The Great Hunt, will is schedule to happen very soon, weather permitting. We seed the idea with him that a certain True Fae, of Joey's acquaintance, would make an ideal target. Meanwhile, we have some time to kill.

Not having another plan, we decide to track down where our witch hunter has ended up and pay a visit. He's gotten himself to a hospital and has a colleague standing guard. I've been reading this book by this guy, umm, Chuck Hagakure, I think. It says that the way of immediacy is best and that anyone who is truly baller, will dash in headlong – so that's exactly what I do. Jerry helps sniff the guy down and we bust straight into his hospital room. I use a little of my razzle dazzle and give him a stern lecture on protecting citizens, and being part of the solution instead of the problem. I'm exception exception in that endevour – these guys are all ears. Jerry backs me up with more smarter sounding words. Then Joey finally comes in and convinces the guy that he's like a superior or something. Must have worked out, we totally steam rolled these guys – After conferring with a superior they will be helping us track down this True Fae chick.

As you carry Shaw back to the car and start driving, he is much more talkative than normal. It could be because all of the metaphorical cats are out of the bag and there's nothing left to hide anymore, or possibly because you've saved his life twice today. Likely a bit of both. He tells you yes, his father is one of the True Fae and was his mother's Keeper. However Shaw is human (he couldn't be Uratha if we weren't human) and Cold Iron doesn't have any special effect on him. The only thing he has to show for his Fae parentage is the ability to use a Contract or two to a minor extent and he can see Changelings for what they really are. It's the same deal with his half-brother, Zane. Further details about how they came to be can be obtained from Roz or from Zane's mother Rowan, if you really want to know. Shaw is fuzzy about the details though he knows it didn't happen by the conventional means.

Him being a Keeper's bastard is something people knew but never talked about. He didn't want you to know because he didn't want you to fear him.

As for the murder accusation, that's true too. It's a long story, but Shaw gives you his confession:

“It was… 6 or 7 years ago. I had just got home from school and Mom had just got the dental bills for some kid who thought he was real funny so I introduced his face to his locker door. I had just gotten in trouble for breaking some other guy's nose too so Mom was real pissed. I got in a lot of fights that year. I think Mom had to pay somebody off to keep me from being expelled. I just remember being angry all the time. I didn't go around starting shit with people though, unless you count messing around with other guys' girlfriends… I guess that does count. Whatever, that's not the point here. The point is if anybody said or did anything to me, I answered them with my fists. Mom and I got into a huge argument about it.

“At the time, my mom was seeing this guy who was really old-fashioned. He seemed nice and all but he also had pretty strong opinions about how women and children ought to act. Like, I'm pretty sure he wasn't comfortable with the fact that it's okay for women to wear pants. He was another Changeling, a Summer Courtier. He was Taken a long time ago, that's why he was so old-timey, and he had just escaped. He was there that day.

“I was leaving, going somewhere to cool off, when I overheard them arguing about me. I opened and closed the front door to make it sound like I left and then waited in the hallway and listened. This guy blamed my mom for everything. He didn't approve of the way she raised me, said she was too lenient, didn't discipline me right or enough and that's why I acted up. You see, as soon as I was old enough to fend for myself, maybe 12 I guess, Mom let me do whatever and come and go whenever I wanted. I spent most of my time outside, had dinner at Zane's mom's house, came home late every night. Mom didn't mind, it meant she didn't have to be too bothered with me. She was busy all the time, between working for Barth and the Vanguard. This guy acted acted like it was the craziest thing anybody could do. He wanted to send me away to military school or give me the belt himself to teach me some respect. Ha, right.

“Anyway, the thing you've gotta know about my mom is she doesn't take it very well when you try and tell her what to do or tell her she's wrong. There's no way she'd sent me away, she sure as shit wasn't gonna let this asshole whip me, and she was still all riled up from fighting with me so she had an extra colorful way of telling this guy to fuck off. That's when I heard this loud crack and then they got quiet. I ran into the room to see what happened. Side of mom's face was all red, he'd slapped her, hard. I don't think he really hurt her, I think she was more surprised than anything. She started crying though. He opened his mouth to say something. Maybe apologize. Didn't matter.

“The next thing I remember, I woke up at Grandma's. Connor gave me the same Welcome to the Family speech he gave you, Gerry. But I didn't need anybody to train me how to fight, Connor only taught me how to control myself. When I was finally allowed to go home, well… it didn't take me long to figure out why mom acted like she was afraid of me. She didn't break up with her boyfriend, I killed him, ripped him to pieces right there in the kitchen. If it weren't for her Contracts, I'd have killed Mom too.”

Shaw is staring out the car window, eyes glassy. You're not sure if you really needed to hear this story or if Shaw just needed to tell it. He takes a minute before he finishes.

“Barth said nobody would ever find out. He'd got rid of the body, made up a story. Couldn't have been too hard to cover up. Anybody the guy knew before he was Taken was long dead. Nobody left to mis him but his Court. Liam, the Summer King back then, he must've either known or been lied to.

“Connor said it wasn't my fault… But he'd say what happened tonight wasn't my fault either. I'm supposed to protect people. What kind of protector am I if I lose control and kill people? What Honor is there in killing someone and not taking responsibility for it?”

Shaw falls silent again. He's looking rather tired and pale from the pain and blood loss. He probably shouldn't be doing all this talking anyway. You think it's best to let him rest.

First and foremost, allow me to express my gratitude for delivering Ms. Driscoll into safe hands. She shall remain in solitary confinement until such a time that she is deemed not to be dangerous to herself or others. My knight-champion has informed me of some troubling details regarding her that require further investigation. This brings me to my next point. I hope that you are still feeling generous as I wish to ask you another favor. I find myself needing to speak with Shaw and I understand that you are compatriots. I simply need to ask the boy a few questions in regards to his mother, yet he will not speak with me. He has decided he does not like me, for what reason I do not know, but as such we refuses my calls and summons. He is quite bull-headed, that one. What I ask of you is to convince him to come to a specific location where I may meet him. Use whatever ruse you like to make him come, we are both aware he is not the sharpest tool in the shed. I hope that you will accept my humble request. I will, of course, compensate you for your time and effort should you require.

Everyone goes to sleep except for Alexei. He attempts to strike up conversation with Roz to figure out what her deal is and why she's been "arrested." She's a little cold towards him, since he's connected to Valerie, but she'll answer questions, if a bit vaguely

Alexei: How about this? Let's say that I'm not a fan of self-important pricks who try to use people. And let's say due to this particular personality quirk of mine, I don't get along too well with Val, either

Roz: Good for you, she's a cunt. Unfortunately for me, I have to play nice. You see, she works for my father's law firm and he treats her like an adoptive second daughter, ever since I became the Black Sheep. He's the reason she's even un-alive. She was dying and her sire owed my father a favor. Gotta love politics.

Alexei: What's that got to do with you bowing to the Summer King and letting him put you in a cage?

Roz: haha, you really do have a problem with authority, don't you? It's Summer, we all bow to the Summer King. And Bartholomew is accountable for my bowing or not bowing, since I'm his right hand woman. I can't put him in hot water, he's done a lot for Shaw and me. So, I play along with this charade.

Roz: A little bird has been chirping in Alistair's ear about me… I know exactly which little bird that would be. He can think whatever he wants about me. I've done nothing wrong and I can sit around and wait for them the realize they've got nothing on me. It's not like I'm getting old.

Alexei takes a long drag on his cigarette, then speaks: If they wanted you out of the picture, seems to me that Papa Summer would just "find" something for you to have done wrong. I don't think the truth is going to slow him down.

Alexei: But what do I know, I'm just a two-cent pusher with incredibly good fashion sense.

He'd stand up and turn as if to leave.

Roz shakes her head: Not much I can do about it now. Escaping would fall under "doing something wrong." Hey, before you go…

Alexei cranes his head back in an exaggerated fashion.

Roz: Depending on how long I'm in here, I might need you guys to… Take care of something for me. Something time sensitive. Something very important. But it's uh… Hush-hush.

Alexei: What's in it for me?

Roz: Whatever makes it worth your while.

Alexei: Sounds important. And my while is worth a lot.

Roz: it's a simple thing, but I won't say what unless the time comes for sure. I just need to know if I can trust someone to get it done. Oh, and you can do it alone, you'll need one of the Changelings to go with you. So… Whatever you guys need.

Alexei: Right now, the only thing I need is Valerie out of my life. To just, you know, "live" without her bullshit bringing me down. If whatever "simple" favor you want will buy me that, I'm your man.

Roz: I can't trust anyone in the courts right now, obviously. And, if Shaw likes you guys, you must be okay. He doesn't like anybody. So, I need you guys or nobody's gonna go it and that can't happen. You need Valerie to disappear? I'll figure it out.

Picking up from my last entry, we found Sophie trapped in a bunch of branches that seem to have spontaneously grown out of the the house itself. Alexi’s father was in the back room unconscious. I gave him a quick once over – he seemed to have a concussion. Alexi interrogated Sophie for a while and ultimately threatened to kill her by opening the blinds as the sun was about to come up. He needed to get back to basement, so he took off and left us to do the cleanup work. We weren’t really sure how or what would kill a vampire, so we did some experimentations. She tried to get in Larry’s head so we ducktaped her head to toe. As the sun came up she started to smolder. She was fussing a lot and taking a long time go so I dispatched her with my new sledgehammer.

Vampire killing is hungry work, so we headed to Ambrosia Diner for breakfast. I managed to grab some glamor off the waitress, but it was really kind of pitiful. I really need to work on that. While we were eating, Heat Miser calls from my phone. He says something is going down with Shaw and if we want to see him alive again, we might see about infiltrating a secret meeting of the kings at the gym that night.

We hit the sack for the night, I wake up early for a run and some pull-ups. I swing by to pick up Alexi and then meet everyone over at Larry’s bar. We all then caravan it over to the shitty bar that used to be Martin Van Buren’s house. Larry and Alexi are able to sneak into the meeting, so the rest of us just cool our jets and work on recovering more glamor. Why is it always shitty bars? This town needs more cupcake shops, or maybe a nice Jamba Juice.

Soon we see Shaw bust through a boarded up window and head into the woods at max speed. Larry says that they tried to kill him with a silver fence post, he want all red rage – killed two guys, and ran off towards his happy place. He’s leaving a pretty obvious trail so we follow in the vehicles to try and help. We find him wounded in the back of a cave. I’m able to get him patched up enough to move him but we are set upon by that same asshole that shot him in the first place which we later encounter outside that shitty bar. I summoned up that same rage I felt when i finally defeated that walking suit of armor in the Other Place and was able to crush his melon like ….. a melon, we didn’t even break a sweat – loser. This sledgehammer is pretty sweet, but I miss my bat. Larry says a guy named Daniel can probably hook me up with something custom. Need to look him up.

So it turns out that guy we found in a body bag has a name. A Dr. Thrussle – Anthropologist out of Toronto. Anthropologists have always been a great source of income for me with their fat research grants that require them to reach remote areas. Not the most exciting work but they pay the bills for sure. I need to remember to give him my card next time I see him. Connor picks him up as we are leaving to go meet Shaw. We pick up Shaw and head to a meeting at this old warehouse. Heat miser is there with a crew of 8. They pretty much demand that we hand over Shaw as a prisoner. He goes willingly but I slip him my phone so that we can track him. Meanwhile, Larry just disappears? I shouldn’t really be surprised by that kinda stuff. Heat Miser and crew take off with Shaw, so we do the sensible thing and head for cupcakes and beer as we use the Find My iPhone app to track their convoy.

They finally stop moving at an old Cement factory shorty before we get a call from Larry…who happens to be just down the Cement Factory. He was a stowaway onboard as the took Shaw away. He says that Shaw is very well guarded – definitely more than we can handle. We pick up Larry and head over to Bart’s where we are inducted into the Autumn Court. I also score these fuzzy dice that grant a boon to driving, sweet!

Next we are off to see Roz. While the fellas are talking to her, I head into the kitchen and make myself a sandwich. Then head into the garage. Sweet ass Rolls in there. I can’t help but wax the thing down a little. I also find a sledgehammer in that garage – might come in handy so I borrow it and leave a note. A call from Val comes in, she’s going to mess with Alexi’s father if we don’t dance. Off to our next location which is an hour away. We are to do the dance off there. Another one of those sunny tunnels that I remember from spelunking appears after Alexi jiggles the dreamcatcher he got out of this box. This might be my chance to get some payback on those sum’s of bitches that did this to me. Unfortunately it turns out that’s it’s just Shaw’s bigger half brother. He wants all of our Glamour in exchange for us getting to be a bunch of chumps. Our deal with the devil is made, he offers more favors but the fellas think it’s a bad idea to entertain – /shrug.

The drive to Alexi’s father’s place is 60 minutes – I do it in 30 minutes flat. Might have pushed the Jeep a bit hard, engine was running warm when we arrived. Hope we don’t need to leave in a hurry. Alexi bursts thru the front door only to find Sophie bloodied and tangled in these branches that grew right out of the floor. Far out!

Not a great time to be out of glamour, but no matter, I feel like I can harvest more now. I also feel twice as Wyrd as I was when I woke up this morning.

Dreams in the Autumn House

In the small hours before the dawn, the vampire visits with Roz in her “cell” wherein a promise is made.

After two days and nights of action, the werewolf finally gets to rest.

The changelings dream of a forgotten memory.

Franky:Your Keeper is a squat goblin-like creature of indeterminable gender, broader than it is tall. Its flabby gut spills over the rotting rope tied around its waist, serving as a makeshift belt, tenuously securing its frayed and filthy rags to its body. It's crinkled and blemished face is set with beady eyes and wide mouth filled with yellowed needle-like teeth, caked with detritus. Its breath is perpetually as foul at the fetid swamp in which it resides.
Your Keeper reminds you not to venture too far from the lights. Torches of green fire blaze in the endless night, sporadically placed throughout the mire around the hut. Best not to venture too close to the lights either, where the nearsighted Hounds can make out your shape more clearly. The Dark, your Keeper warns you, holds a worse fate than the Hounds though for it belongs to another. And the Other keeps neither pets nor servants. The Other cares only to Devour.
On this occasion, you are zigzagging from the outer edge of one circle of light to the next, seeking something new and exciting for your next concoction. You've made your way a greater distance from the hut than you've even been before. You pause when you spot the next light. It looks tiny. It must be spaced a great deal farther than the last one. You steel your will and try to close the distance quickly, lest you be beset by something hiding in the darkness. As you draw closer though you come to realize it's not that far away after all. Your perception has fooled you. It is in fact a tiny light. It's not a torch at all but some kind of fiery wisp and it's moving, floating through the air. You stand and watch in fascination for a moment as it dances. A cold chill of panic comes over you when you remember your situation. There is no next torch. You're exposed in the Dark. You immediately try to turn back but something at your feet stops you. You realize you're standing at the edge of a pool of still water that stretches out before you towards the wisp. The water is inky-black except for… there is the slightest glow. Somewhere in the depths there is a light and its steadily becoming brighter and… Growing? As the light brightens it also expands. As it expands it takes on myriad shifting and scintillating colors. Colors the likes of which you've never seen before and will never see again. It's utterly mesmerizing. You're so captivated you stand in a sort of stupefied paralysis. You fail to react even as the source of the light rises from the water on the end of a stalk, just as you fail to notice the horror rising with it from the depths below.
Your transfixion is broken by one thing only. A tiny green light appears in your peripheral vision. The wisp is beside you now. You feel a delicate hand on your shoulder and then you are quite suddenly and forcefully yanked or thrown backwards. You land on your back in the mud, spellbound stupor broken, at the same instant you see a massive pair of jaws rush out of the black water and snap shut in the space you occupied a split second earlier. The wave of abject terror that follows leaves you feeling drained and weak.
You awaken drenched in cold sweat with a name on your lips. “Lorelei.”

Larry:Your Keeper is a grotesque fiend. She has what would be a lovely woman's face were it not marked by the pallor of death and the flesh not stripped away where her missing jaw belonged. Her ruined face is ringed by wild flowing hair that dissipates into oily black smoke that surrounds the rest of her form and trails behind her. Beneath her death mask face, dangling tongue, and bloodied throat lies a bare rib cage burst open. Jaggedly broken bones jut forward around a cavernous dark empty space save for her still-beating heart. Her severed spine hangs midst the smoke below.
You are nearly nothing when your Keeper brings you with her to the party. You exist as an ephemeral thing, naught more than a cloud of smoke yourself. As nearly nothing, you go largely unnoticed. You observe the goings-on for a time.
A young man resembling a porcelain doll and dressed like a mummer makes himself look busy even when he is not and especially when the bedazzled statuary at the head of the table is paying attention.
A disgusting, wretched little goblin has brought an older man and a kettle of something that smells foul to the feast. The kettle goes untouched by the rest of the guests for some time until the goblin, offended that no one has elected to partake, forces the man to drink. The rest of the Keepers enjoy a hearty laugh as his expense as he vomits blood and viscera for several minutes.
A pretty golden-haired girl in her late teens sits passively on the lap of an Adonis in a black-feathered cloak. She looks anemic and like she's having a hard time keeping awake. He looks to be the center of attention so far as the other Keepers are concerned. They ask him rather prying questions in rather roundabout ways. They look at him with hunger in their eyes. “I am but a poor man with naught left but my name. What could I possibly have to offer any of you?” he asks with a sly smile. He mocks them with his feigned humility.
You grow bored of hovering and listening to them prattle on. You drift away down the labyrinthine passages, exploring, investigating the hidden nooks and crannies. In one such nook you spy something even more out of place than the twisting halls that defy the laws of space and gravity. Something green. There is a crack in the stone and through that crack creeps a tendril of green thorny vine. You remember the thorns. The thorns are outside. The thorns mark the space between the prisons your Keepers warden and the way back home.
You fly back to the great hall with haste. You float down to the ear of the servant boy, the one whose gilded cage you're in. You shout at the top of your lungs to be heard. Coming from nearly nothing though, all the lad hears is “…know… way out…” barely louder than his own breath. It sends a chill down his spine. You realize you must become More in order to conspire to escape. Fortunately, as your Keeper once said, “you're a Taker, Larry.” You will Take.

Flip:You remember the day the armor cracked. Your Keeper is a towering suit of medieval armor, blackened and empty save for cold fire burning behind the eye sockets. The metal stubbornly refused to yield to your fists. That is, until they took on thesame coarse character as the gargoyles that served as your jailors. You had been broken down and built back up again so many times, more scarred and calloused each time, you finally became as resilient as the stone itself. With your newfound fortitude, you withstood your Keeper's gauntleted fists, held your ground, and struck back with a blow so mighty a crack sundered his breastplate with a thunderous sound. Your Keeper froze with surprise. You stopped in disbelief. Your Keeper took a step back from you, rising to his full height and staring down at the “wound.” There was a prolonged moment of tense silence which was finally broken by a sound you didn't expect. Laughter. Your Keeper threw his head back in hearty, roaring laughter. He was pleased. “Yes!” He bellowed. “I knew I did well in choosing you!” And he left. The gargoyles came to collect you as they always did. They took you to the surgeon as they always did. But this time, you were entirely unharmed. This was the first time you ever visited the infirmary fully conscious.
The gargoyles posted up on either side of the door and went still, as usual. You and the good doctor were left effectively alone to talk. His name was Drew, a med student at Rutgers. At least he was a long time ago. A fateful encounter landed him in a different Hell than this. His prior Keeper sold him to the suit of armor when he outlived his usefulness. “You hurt him?” Drew asked you, with hope in his voice. “It's the only reason you'd be here not a bloody mess. You actually damaged the armor?” You confirmed. “Amazing. Then maybe you could…” Drew's voice trailed off as he shifted his gaze towards the barred window. Sure, it was worth a shot. Why not try? You grasped two of the bars and pulled in opposite directions. They bent as easily as clay in your hands. You could never hope fit through such a small opening but the wall of bars in your cell was a different matter. You could slip out of your cell, make your way back here, grab Drew, and together go look for an exit. He ought to know the place better. Before you could voice your plan though, you were abruptly interrupted as the gargoyles sprang back to life. The allotted time had passed for treatment. They escorted you back to your cell.
When your jailors departed and all the keep fell still and silent, save for the stone's weeping, you bent the bars of your cell wide and slipped out. You carefully retracted your steps back to collect the man who saved you so many times, to return the favor. But, when you reached the infirmary, you found it empty.

Starting a new journal today as it seems my old life is over. The reality of this unreal situation was too much at first, but I know now that this isn’t a dream. I’m not creative enough to come up with batshit crazy circus that has become my life. What’s done is done, i’ll not make the same mistake as with my ball playing career and waste years of my life trying to cling to something that is gone forever. Life is an adventure and it’s time to start on the new one. My marching orders were clear, step one was to eliminate my doppleganger. Gladly. That fuck better not have jacked up my vehicles. We are also told to go pick up this lady named Roz and deliver her to some gated community. Oh, and there are people trying to kill us? No problem, got this. I’d like to get some food, but there isn’t time.

Only i didn’t, that doppleganger turned out to be literally a piece of rock. You’d think that would make for an easy target, sadly I was captain wiff. Good thing boys at the club house didn’t see that – i’d never hear the end of it. With some amount of trouble, we are finally able to dispatch the thing.
* note to self, add more work to the fast twitch muscles next time at the gym. Must be slowing down a hair. There’s no food in the house, i’m still hungry.

Next we all caravan it over to pick up Roz. I took the black 2003 LJ Rubicon, it seemed to drive ok, maybe pulled a little to the right, will check the tires when i fuel up next. Arriving at Roz’s place – she seemed to think there is some kind of game being played. I don’t pay to much attention, need to check over my ride to make sure it will perform when it needs to. Oil needs to be changed and the winch was last stowed while still muddy – not cool.

The talk soon turns to dealing with these hunters that are in town. Roz agrees to help, but doesn’t really do much. Joey and Alexi put out some feelers and we track down guys to a dive bar. The wolfguy, Gerry (holy shit? Werewolves are real too?) Larry and I wait in the woods to jump these hunter types. The rest of our crew goes inside. The sea captain agreed to hook me up with some wings – he later stiffs me. I’ll remember that. Side note – i’m always hungry now, all the time. Larry steals some stuff from their nearby hotel room, then tries to stab one that came out to smoke – didn’t work. I’m still hungry. The other guys come from around back with one of the fellows all doped up. There is someone else who appears to still be alive but unconscious in a body bag. We hightail it out of there.

We head back up into the hills with our prisoners. We question the drunk guy for a while who admits to having been working for a local vamp. This is also the guy who apparently shot that Shaw dude. Gerry wolfs out and rips out the guys intestines – which reminds me, i’m still hungry. I go upstairs to order some Dominos. Alexi is on speakerphone talking to someone who sounds pretty upset, all the ruckus made it much hard to order my wings. Dominos shows up 75 minutes later. Finally!

we are awake again. I do not know why, but we are. It moves a bit 'slower than today. everything is more confused than I'd like.I'm still a bit 'confused by the crew. jeepman needs help with his rock car. good. let's go. let's do it. he's great. rockman not crumbles easily. eventually we pulverize with a certain satisfaction.
Roz is required, I do not know why. look for her with some success, but she looks especially as we go to work. Did i mention i stumbled stoneyman?
we also have an advantage that leads us to B & B, I'm happy to oblige, the crowd is filled with regulars like me except for two shiftys. we take them quickly, they stick out like schooners between skiff.
furcoatman and I get beers. Heineken beers. and shots. we challenge the schooners to play pool which is fine only. winning shots.

I handed them the alcohol, a pernicious thought runs through my brain, and through the glass. I smell the whiskey, once proof of eighty from across the room. its not more whiskey. Its the elixr. do not ask me what the elixr is chemically, but like pornography to the Supreme Court, I know that when I see it.
Only one falls prey to elixr, that makes no sense. Everyone falls in love with elixr. We bring inebriotto the bar at home. He can not answer questions. I get tired of his dodging and stick a lot about him, while pouring my last beer on the face. The fool thinks drowning. He knows nothing of drowning.
He truth as expressed vapors left in the night.
Because it is involved valerianna? What?

Gerry:

So I make it back into town and head over to Shaw's place to find everyone missing and a weird blood stain in the basement. Smells like Alexei and…rabbit? Whatever, didn't one of these guys own a bar?I check the bar but no one is there although there is another weird bloodstain that smells of Alexei on a brick wall out back. Shaw calls to tell me he is at his place and is going to pass out; also to remind me I already have Alexei's number, duh. I call twice before he picks up.When I get to them they have found another one and are all excited to go take care of his doppelganger. I really need to talk to Bartholomew who, incidentally, comes out of whatever building they were all in to ask us to pick up Shaw's mom and bring her somewhere. Of course he did. Good thing new guy's place is on the way.Turns out his double was made of solid fucking stone. I'll give you two guesses as to how well teeth and claws do against that. After a couple of minutes of all of us just beating him with whatever is handy he crumbles into pebbles. There's no burning this stuff so we all take a little and scatter it on the road as we drive to Roz's.Roz is one hell of a paranoid lady. And hot; like way younger looking than she should be. We pick her up and I ask her to tag along. She rolls her eyes mostly and gives about as much information as if I asked the seat she was sitting on. I guess that's where Shaw gets it from. We head back to Shaw's to find him passed out on the couch covered in bandages, one of which Alexei picks up and starts sucking at (blecch!). Between Alexei, Larry, and Joey we find out the Hunters are staying at a Bead & Breakfast somewhere out by Grandma's place and head over. Alexei, Frankie, and Joey head inside to see what they can see while the new guy, Flip, Larry, Roz and I stay outside to try and get into their room. I look up and Larry has already broken in and Roz is nowhere to be found. Larry comes back with a couple of backpacks. Flip and I disassemble their weapons and toss the ammo and parts as far as we can into the woods. We can't use them now, but neither can they. Larry says there is some guy drugged up in a body bag in the room as well. What the fuck is going on here?Alexei keeps texting me from inside the bar, giving me a description on the Hunters. Apparently the big blonde one, Christian, is regular human and they get him wasted. The other dark haired one leaves them to go smoke outside and I get my first peek at him.It's everything I can do not to revert back to the scared little high school kid and go run and hide. He's a wolf alright, the one that killed Nelson. He looks average, dark hair, not much taller than me, but mother moon he reeks of power. He comes outside, lights a cigarette, and looks right at me. Since he knows I'm here I figure I might as well put on a brave face and not let him know how scared I am.We trade some words, I try to lure him into the woods where my friends are and he laughs in my face for it. I don't piss myself. We both know we aren't going to go at it in a public place so I start to walk away when I see a wisp of shadow materialize right behind him. Oh fuck, it's Larry, and he just stabbed him in the head. Wolfman looks at him scornfully and just fades away. I didn't even have time to react. Oh shit.Alexei is telling me to get the car, they have his blonde friend. I scramble my brains to find somewhere this fucker can't get us in the night now that he has my scent. I figure if anything Bart would know something and now that Roz is back (out of fucking nowhere mind you) we decide to just take her there. Bart lets us in and doesn't seem at all to mind that I want to torture someone for information. The blondie, Christian, was paid to bring the guy in the bag to someone at Silhouette. Turns out it didn't need to be this guy, just any wolf in particular. So he's been hunting wolves, and they decided to kill one of my pack for fun even after they'd already finished their hunt. It's too much: Nelson, these body double things, the Wolf from earlier, this fuck is hunting us, hunting MY pack. He needs to die screaming so I make sure he does. I'm shaking after I walk back upstairs to find Alexei on the phone with Val. Turns out she was the buyer. He talks some shit to her and hangs up. Bart tells me he'll take care of cleanup, keep the guy from the bodybag secure and gives us a safe place to rest as long as we don't tell Shaw his mom is imprisoned. Seems a small price to pay; I've been up for about two days straight so I don't think twice about agreeing. Gods I need sleep.

Joey:

I have a blues song in my head
It's all about being your back door man
Beer and a shotgun

Frankie is crawling on the floor
And I confess to feeling a little tempted
Beer and a shotgun

The unholy racket comes to an end
I am still standing by the back door holding
Beer and a shotgun

*******

Flip is free and Jeeped
And we're heading somewhere to pick up
someone that someone that someone knows
knows
Another strange woman with an attitude
They haunt me
Do they haunt everyone?

*******

Werewolves are being killed
This is a bad thing
At least someone is very upset about it
And he's on my team
And that's most of human history
Explained
through the medium
of bad poetry

*******

I know this town and a few calls gets us the the information we need. Targets acquired at the motel bar. Now it's time to be cool. I believe in the magic rising within me and it's time for it to be unleashed.
I am an utter failure. I am nothing. An unlovable freak.
So we drug the dude, kidnap him, torture and murder him.
I have no idea who the hell he was and that's OK.
Tomorrow I have to go to work. Or find a shrink. Or stay in bed all day.
Instead I expect madness.

While the Changelings and Vampire were sleeping, the Werewolves were on the move. Since Nelson was clearly not back in Valerie's clutches, Shaw and Gerry went looking for him at his last known location. Connor has sent Nelson out to the far edge of the territory to “do his fucking job” and scout for disturbances, when he disappeared. They burned nearly all their daylight hours searching before they found Nelson… well, parts of him. Blood spray for yards, a trail of viscera where he tried to crawl away from his assailant, leading to what was left of his body, long cold. “Fucking hell…” Shaw whispered with a look of horror on his face. Gerry and Shaw shifted to wolf form and began sniffing around the area for traces of who or what had done this. It was shortly afterwards, as the dying light of the setting sun swept through the trees, that Gerry heard an awful sound. It was like the startled yelp of a dog whose paw had accidentally been stepped on, only magnified to an intensity that made Gerry's blood run cold. It came from Shaw. Gerry turned, expecting to be under attack. He saw only Shaw stumbling over a front leg that looked to have suddenly gone lame. He barked frantically at Gerry to run. Gerry followed Shaw's lead just as something whizzed past his own ear.
…
Gerry and Shaw came up over the top of a rocky ridge and half-leapt/half-tumbled down into gully on the other side. At the bottom of the gully, Shaw darted into a hole among the rocks that he seemed to know would be there and uninhabited. Some kind of animal den and decent size. Large enough for the two of them to sit up after they shifted to human forms to talk. Shaw had a hole bored clean through his shoulder. A wound that could only be the work of something silver. He pressed a hand over it to try and staunch the bleeding. He spoke in short bursts of words between pained gasps for breath. “Hunters. Haven't been any here… since I was a kid. If they have silver bullets… they have silver everything. Werewolf hunting party. Fuck!” Shaw lifted his hand, looked at it dripping blood, and got an idea. “Listen, Gerry. I'm going to leave a trail… lead them away from the house. We can't let them find it. You, go get the Changelings. Get them to help us. Hunters probably won't know what they are.” Gerry hesitated to abandon his wounded pack-mate but Shaw is obstinate once he's made his mind up over something. “GO!” Shaw shouted, pulling himself to his feet, leaving a crimson hand print on the stone. He shifted back to wolf and ran off with an ungainly limp and strained howl.

Gerry Recap:

So I was way off, that harpy turned out to be one of the Sirens from the old Greek legends. As equally deadly as she was gorgeous, the type of woman who pretends she doesn't see me even if I'm standing right in front of her, as she is currently doing.

She clearly thinks as little of Shaw as she insults his mother almost immediately. It takes everything I have not to laugh when Alexei starts talking shit to this woman while being held off the ground by his neck; what an absurd situation. Nelson isn't here but she wants Alexei back anyway, the thing is, Alexei has no intention of going back into that house. I wouldn't want to either. She looks just like the type of woman that kills men through seduction. I bet you'd die with a smile on your face.

So we leave, chased from the house by curses and promises of retribution. As Alexei has proven himself to an ally, albeit a loudmouth one, Shaw gives him his key and tells him to get the others over there for some rest; we break off to Nelson's patrol territory to try and figure this mess out. Connor is furious and tells us to teach Nelson a lesson if we catch him sleeping on duty.

It takes all day searching, in and out of wolf forms, for us to find him. Well…parts of him anyway. Nelson is now spread across a small meadow and about 3 trees. His legs are gone, we never found them, by the looks of it he was smashed against all three trees, losing body parts as he went. Half his head looks gnawed on, his guts are everywhere, apparently falling out of him as he tried to crawl with his remaining good arm away from whatever it was. In wolf we pick up scents: blood, Nelson, and a strange wolf?; he had pissed all over Nelson's corpse, marking his kill. Goddamn.

We split up to begin tracking him, trying to figure out where he came in and out of our territory. A shot rings out, and a yelp. Shaw! I run towards the sound when Shaw bursts through the brush on three legs sending at me [Become wind, we are hunted!] The air reeks of men and gunpowder.

Shaw does his best to keep up and we find den to shift and speak. He hasn't healed, and blood is pouring from his shoulder. “Hunters. Haven't been any here… since I was a kid. If they have silver bullets… they have silver everything. Werewolf hunting party. Fuck!” He stares at the blood on his hands, " “Listen, Gerry. I'm going to leave a trail… lead them away from the house. We can't let them find it. You, go get the Changelings. Get them to help us. Hunters probably won't know what they are.” No way I'm leaving him like this, I am the shield that guards the pack, the warrior that destroys our enemies. "You've barely been in a real fight Gerry, these guys are hardened vets, they'll take you apart and where would that leave us. Go man, now!" He shifts and starts a trail.

I am greased lightning getting back to my car. By the time I'm back in Catskill two hours later Shaw is texting me that he lost them but we'll need backup. He tells me to get our new friends while he gets patched up. I start the drive to Shaw's place to pick up the others; they owe us and I get the feeling they would be all too willing to pay up. Tonight, I'll rip the guts from these so-called Hunters, and show them what real monsters live in the dark woods.

Shaw thoughts:

On Gerry: When everyone's mean to you your whole life, you turn out one of two ways. Either you become a bitter asshole or you go out of your way to be nice to everybody, so you don't become just like the people you hate. Gerry's a nice guy, he'll go far. There's not much to him, he's a wiry little guy, but he's got grit and sometimes that's what matters.

On Alexei: I don't know what to make of him. He hardly speaks and when he does its sarcasm or some cryptic bullshit. I shouldn't trust the little bloodsucker but he's been cooperative so far. His loyalty will probably come down to whether he's more scared of Valerie or me. I'm fine with that.
Oh yeah, Valerie. Should I tell mom she's back in town? Probably shouldn't stir that up, I don't wanna deal with it.

On Franky: I can't understand a fucking thing this guy says. And he's not like any of the kinds of changelings I'm used to. I wonder what made him that way but I don't dare ask. He doesn't seem to really understand what's happened to him either. Poor guy. His life seems real complicated. I can't believe Valerie was cheating on Nelson with someone twice his age. Poor bastard, Nelson didn't deserve any of this. I don't like the way Valerie was looking at me either. She looks at all werewolves like a starving person at a buffet table. It's fucking sick.

On Joey: I don't understand anything that comes out of this guy's mouth either but for a different reason. Dude seems a little off. Like, you expect changelings to be fucked up by what they went through, but Joey… Well, I hope nobody gave him a shotgun. I hope somebody's looking out for him. It's kinda a good thing, I guess, that we got so many out of the hedge at once. They can help each other come to terms.

On Larry: This guy, I know his type. One of those City tough guys who thinks he's hot shit with the ladies. I think I've been in his shitty bar too, seemed like a good place to get raped. I hope he doesn't start anything I have to finish. Arcadia changes people though, in more than the obvious ways. There might be hope for him not to be a scumbag if he learned his lesson. Oof, I shouldn't think like that. Nobody deserves a trip through Arcadia.

I wish Cara didn't wrap my shoulder so tight, I can barely move it. I guess that's probably the point. Goddamn it hurts too. I should've asked her to leave painkillers. I hope Gerry gets here soon, before the trail goes cold. Somebody's gonna fucking pay for this and what they did to Nelson. Damn, I'm tired though. How long have I been up, two days? I'll just rest here til Gerry gets here. Couch is already ruined, gonna need a new one again, no sense in getting blood upstairs too. Not looking forward to cleaning up.

Awaken.
o Look around room.
o Smell the air- Campfire. Why is it, oh that’s right. You got baked and built that leavesman into a fire. OK.

· Go downstairs. These are the same others, yes? Yes.
o Pour, slurp, wince- the coffee has gone stale. Why is the coffee stale? It was just roasted last week? Whatever.

· Go to garage.
o Check fermentation chamber, krausen has fallen on the best bitter and the hellesbier?
o Better sample. Sanitize wine theif, dip, taste. Goodness, these are both mature.
o Check gravity, FG 1.011 and 1.012, the yeast is surely done the work. How does this keep happening?
o Get them in kegs and don’t ask questions. Don’t ask questions. Don’t say more than you have to.
§ She always said, don’t say more than you have to. Don’t say more. Not in discovery, depositions or bedrooms. Never in bedrooms. Where has she been? I feel like talked to her yesterday? She cannot see me like this, Bizzaria that I am now. She is missed, she is young and vital.

· Poke the rudeman, he is loud at night and dazed in mornings. Not the worst order of operations, I suppose.
o Gather the guests.
o Drive the car to the diner.
o Find Joey. He is ducking a waitress. A waitress that doesn’t make good coffee either. Why is there no good coffee on this continent?

· Approach a buildi, this is la donna Valerianna’s building?!!
o Hide behind grossa monstro jeepman. It is no use. She knows I am there.
o Spit out some words. Embarrassment. She talks frantically about italia, I am not listening. I miss her youth, her hotblooded nature and always cool skin.

Shaw(n) stopped the car in front of one of those old spooky Victorian houses that looked like something out of a Saturday morning cartoon. Alexei groaned as he recognized the building, then quietly resolved himself to be as unhelpful as possible.

This resulted in Shaw(n) literally picking up and dragging him to the door of Haunted Scooby Doo Mansion and pounding on it hard enough to rattle the frame.

Alexei cringed as he heard the banshee shriek of his handler echo through the halls in response to Shaw(n)’s assault on the front door. A moment later, she stood before them in the doorway, looking every inch the lovely career woman in designer clothes. Alexei knew better.

Meeting Valerie was never a pleasurable experience. Alexei opened his mouth to let slip the first foray of insults, as Val gaped in surprise, but Shaw(n) interrupted before he could speak.

“Where’s Nelson?” the overgrown werewolf demanded. What followed was a confused exchange of threats disguised as negotiation that gradually revealed that Alexei was to be returned to Val’s coterie in exchange for Nelson, but Nelson was not actually with Val, nor did she even know where he was. This didn’t stop Val from demanding, quite venomously, that Alexei be returned anyway.

Alexei mused that it was probably a bad idea to provoke Val; she was the kind of lady who cracked open people’s skulls with her bare hands when she got angry. However, with Shaw(n) seemingly in control of the situation, he decided to risk it, and replied that he didn’t really feel like comin home, and that Val’s outfit made her look especially skanky today. She didn’t like that.

Shaw declared he was leaving. With Alexei. She didn’t like that either.

As Alexei listened to her rage impotently in the background, the discomfort of being carried back to the car by his collar didn’t really bother him anymore.

…

The crew made their way back to Sleepy Hollow Lake to pay a visit to Gnome Chomsky, the little old Yoda of a man who had helped the 3 other assholes when they first popped out of the woods. He had a visitor, a red-headed LARPer with an actual claymore on his back. He looked surprised to see them, then left, probably to go fight a goblin army or something. Whatever. It was hardly the weirdest thing Alexei had seen tonight.

Gnome Chomsky explained that there was to be a meeting of the “Courts” tomorrow night and that the other 3 assholes would finally meet their “King.” So they were LARPers. Neat.

Shaw(n) went off again to do werewolf shit, leaving Alexei with a key to his place to crash for the night. Alexei returned the favor by going upstairs to take whatever cash he found laying around. One of the rooms upstairs was hardly used. Judging by the Calculus textbooks and the button-downs in the closet, it wasn’t Shaw(n)’s. Alexei helped himself to a fashionable blazer. After all, he’d need to look his best to meet a King.

He made his way to the basement, hanging the blazer on some of the exposed piping. The basement was bare and covered in scorch marks; apparently this house had been on fire before. The thought made Alexei shudder involuntarily. He threw his fur coat upon the floor, gently folded and laid his aviators next to it, then fell face-first into torpor.

…

Alexei woke up next to a pool of bloody vomit, the taste of stale beer and other fluids still fresh in his mouth. Frankie stood over him, wide-eyed and panicked, a hand still on Alexei’s neck where he had been trying to check for a pulse. Oh, right, Alexei thought, should probably start breathing again.

Wiping his mouth as Frankie stammered, Alexei headed upstairs to see Joey and Larry. Joey was also panicked, and was wearing a pair of Wonderbread bags around his shoes, hurriedly trying to wipe down everything in the kitchen with a rag soaked in moonshine. Alexei didn’t even ask.

Instead, he wandered outside into the night. Several minutes later he came back inside and spat a dead rabbit into the trash can. “Alright, I’m good,” he said to the confused gaggle of assholes. “Let’s go.”

…

The meeting took place in an old abandoned boxing gym, far removed from prying eyes. The inside was split into 4 sections of bleachers, one against each wall, and the old boxing ring in the center, serving as a makeshift stage. Gnome Chomski was there, and he waved everyone over to his side, the “Autumn Court.” Alexei had expected more people in robes and chainmail, but was pleasantly surprised to see a group of ladies on the bleachers across from him who looked less Dungeons and Dragons and more Victoria’s Secret. They smelled good too. He bummed a cigarette off of some Van Helsing-looking motherfucker.

Despite the distance between them, he could still hear Gnome Chomski drone on about the different courts, their roles, beliefs, and powers. None of it was as interesting as the beautiful woman before him, who Gnome had referred to as “Gilded Lily.” She was surrounded by a flock of like-minded and equally intriguing girls who looked like they knew how to have a good time. Alexei’s kind of people. He unbuttoned his blazer and moved in for the hunt.

Ten minutes later, he had Lily’s number on his arm, and a whole new market of “clients.”

Flip Recap:

One minute, I'm spelunking thru a cave system, the next minute I'm running for my life thru that same cave system. I must have fallen and hit my head. While I was out I had these weird dreams about living in a gladiator arena and being operated on my some psychopathic doctor. What a messed up dream… Wait, why am I running, and why is Heat Miser motioning me to the exit of the cave with William Wallace's sword. Heat Miser says his real name is Ryan and that I was in Hell. He gives me a lift back to this old timers place named Bart. Clearly, I haven't woken up yet.

I spend several hours in a waiting room before I'm introduced to a bunch of degenerates. They kinda look like real people, but kinda also not so much. Wait – is that one guy Brad Pitt from Fight Club or is it Leonardo Di Cap—-oh wait, this is one of those Inception dreams. Ok, I'll play along.

We are told that we need to go to a boxing club? Wait, maybe this the Fight Club dream. Sadly, it turned out to be a boring community meeting – more on that later.

So we had to go do this chore first. We go to this dude's bar and there is this copy of him there, it's like a xerox person. Crazy, I know, but that Bart guy said there was a Xerox Flip out there too. He tries to run out the back and everyone runs after him. I'm not sure what came over me, but I went full on hulk smash on this guy.

Ok, back to the community meeting. There are all these suspect folk jockeying to be king of the hill. Boring smack talk, then promise of cup cakes, followed by failure to come thru on said cup cakes. Why am I always hungry?

One last thing, this crazy old Italian guy let me crash at his place, guess he's not so bad. He seems way overly preoccupied with finding his next drink, but it does help his English so I'll let that slide.

A poem by Joey:

When did the madness start?
Has it been here all along?
Have monsters been hiding within my skull?
clawing, hissing, scratching to get out

It's 4am and I'm standing in front
of a house and a woman,
angry
And the terror takes hold
Flight! Run and run again and again and again and

These strangers, others, friends of circumstance,
freaks and demons
Where do they lie?
Inside or out? Truth or lie?

We make arrangements,
Breakfast at the diner,
As if any of this is real.

Sanity returns or so it seems
There is nothing more real than a beige Buick
Slumber and the familiar mid-day morning
Ambrosia, the usual

But freaks and demons there are
Nattering away
Planning their way through craziness
by going to a bar
Just like real people