Dear Accountant, now with bodily fluids

Because I cannot complain about this at work and my skull is about to explode.

Your boss has asked you to handle grant $ in a specific way.

Yes, it is makes more work for you.

I understand that you think it is totally unnecessary and “I haven’t seen an auditor in 30 years of doing this work and 100K is nothing to the feds.”

Times change. The new buzzword is accountability.

Her ass, and my ass, are on the line for what happens with this money.

Please just do your fucking job and stop whining. If you spent half the time you are spending bitching about this situation on solving it, you’d be done already and I would not have a hole in my tongue from biting it.

Off to go actually DO my job, while I’ve still got it…

p.s. You are the only male in the building. Therefore when I enter the bathroom and the light is on, the toilet seat is up, AND there are fresh dribbles on the floor… it is pretty clear who did it.

p.p.s. I do not want to do your job. I simply want YOU to do it WELL. Had you bothered to look at the forms I had filled out previously, you would have seen that the totals are cumulative. The correct response to “Hey, Chuck*, I’m sorry, but these forms aren’t filled out correctly” is not “Okay, you do them then,” it’s “Okay, what do I need to change?”