Wednesday, January 25, 2012

After we lost Lulu, we agreed no more dogs for a while. But after she was gone for two days, we knew it was time to search for another pug and fast. We thought, maybe a black male pug. That way its another pug but totally opposite of Lulu. Well, Pug Watch 2012 wasn't going very well. I came across dozens of scams or fawn pugs and eventually we thought we'd just take whatever we could get. My mom and Lori were looking in CA in the meantime to see if they had any pug leads. Just as I was about to spend $600 with a breeder two hours from here, Lori called to tell me about this pug she found in Reseda, CA by my mom's house. I told her if she wants to see it she can, at this point I trust her judgement.

Lori was going to check out the pug Monday night and I don't hear back from her for a while. I texted to see if she was going or not and she calls back completely excited and says she's at the house of the pug and it is super cute. OK. I told Jesse and asked what he thinks and he said it's my call, so I tell Lori, without even sleeping on it or anything, if she wants to get the pug, she can, but we need to figure out a way to get it out to Georgia. So Lori went to the ATM and I talked to my mom and told her I'd get her a plane ticket. She said she'd pay for half of it since we had just spent close to $600 on Lulu's cremation and vet costs. So we waited anxiously from Monday night till Thursday afternoon when my mom came out with Jinky.

I kept hearing everyone say what a cute pug she was in California. My mom and sis both thought she was super cute, a ball of energy and a good girl and Lori kept sending me pictures at random. The pug's name was Jinky. We weren't sure about the name and thought of changing it to Bebe, but in the end, Jinky was somehow a better fit. Plus, Charlie couldn't remember her name and called her Stinky and that worked too.

Thursday afternoon I met the Jinkster and she was so happy to see me. I think she must have thought I was Lori at first, but I didn't mind. I had a curly-cute tail smushy face pug eye baby who wanted to jump into my arms in front of my work and I was ready to take her to see her new forever home.

The first few days with Jinky were definitely an adjustment period. She hung out with my mom and Charlie constantly. They went to the park and Charlie and Jinky napped together while Jesse and I were at work. We thought, "OK, she's gonna be Charlie's dog." She also kept having accidents in the house, but I attribute that to the plane trip, being on a new time zone schedule, and being in a new home away from her old one. I also think she's younger than the people told my sister. They said she was 8 months but she seems younger than that. We all agree.

Anyway, yesterday I took my mom home and it was our first night with Jink-a-link and she was so excited and happy to see us when we came home. She was a very good girl and didn't have any accidents or anything while we were gone. She slept in our bed with us, but did wake up to check on Charlie, and barked twice last night at the neighbor's TV. This morning, she was hanging out in bed with Charlie and Jesse and then came to hang out with me in the bathroom while I got ready, something Lulu did all the time. It made me feel a little better to know this new little pug was following in the footsteps of Lulu. I don't want to compare the two because they're totally different pugs, but it's nice to know both had/have similarities in behaviors.

Jinky is a pretty cool little pug, though. She's a bag of bones and needs to put on weight but she's got a good attitude. I think in a few years when she grows up and pugs out a bit, she'll be a top notch pug. I love how she looks unamused and like she's judging you when you take pictures of her. It's so far from what she's really like in person, but every pug has their look. Lulu's look was either guilty, sad, or happy. Jinky so far is unamused and judgemental. We all love Jinky and look forward to a long and happy life with her.

Friday, January 13, 2012

People who don't understand the impact of animals on people will never get it. I've heard it said time and time again, "It's just a dog." Lulu was not just a dog. Lulu was my golden child. No matter what horrible things she ever did, she was never capable of doing wrong. She was my baby and I even joked calling her my first born. I love my son, but I had never asked to get pregnant. I was happy when I had him. But Lulu, oh my baby pug, I had wanted a pug so much. I had never loved another four legged furry baby as much as I loved my Lulu.

In 2007, Lori got her papillon, Izzy. I wanted to get a dog as I was planning on moving out soon too and I wanted my pug. I had always wanted a pug. I loved their curly tails and big ol' pug dog eyes, how they'd snort and fart and I wanted a fawn pug. I spent months looking through the Pennysaver and classifieds, rescues and shelters, and even the pet stores. I had no luck with pugs. Finally, I found a listing on Craigslist out in Alhambra, CA for Lulu. Not much was said about her other than she was bought as a friend for the other pug, Obie. Obie was an alpha pug and had nothing of Lulu coming into his home, so her owners thought it would be best if she go somewhere that she could be an only child and loved the way she deserved. That's where I come in.

I emailed the gal about my misfortunes of trying to get a pug. A breeder in Lancaster, CA had one who was ready to adopt, but then they weren't ready. He had an eye infection. They were going camping. I spent almost two months hearing their excuses and my heart was breaking thinking I would never get a pug. I just wanted to come take Lulu and if she loved me, I would promise to be the best forever home she could dream of. The next day, I heard back from my email and the lady was completely touched by my story and wanted to meet me. So my mom drove me out to Alhambra (in the rare event I wound up getting Lulu, I had no way to take her home other than in my arms.) When I got out to her house, I saw a tiny little pug. This was Lulu. I learned her original name was something like Wuffie and the lady thought Lulu was a much better name for a pug. I couldn't help but agree. Lulu was far cuter in person than she was online. She was a scrawny little mutt when I saw her photos on Craigslist, but in person, she was a lot thicker and spunkier. She looked at me, growled, the hair on her back stood up and she barked like a mad dog and then ran away to hide. The lady was embarrassed and swore Lulu wasn't normally like this. She was a sweet dog. I looked at her and told the lady, "I have a feeling, despite her freaking out at me, that she will love me and we'll get along great." I gave her $300 which basically was a reimbursement for vet fees and we drove home. She said if Lulu didn't work out I could bring her back and she'd give me my money back, but I told her I don't think that will be happening. On April 30, 2007, Lulu was officially my baby.

On the car ride home, she cried. Not a dog whimper but a cry. It sounded like a hysterical infant. She was only 7.5 months old and going to her third owner now, me. I would be her last. I got her a little pug bed and some toys and food that night at Petco and set up her spot in my room to sleep. She sniffed around the house and laid in her bed moping. Or at least she looked that way. Because Lulu always had an expression of looking either sad or guilty, unless she was hot and panting and then she looked like she had a big grin. Anyway, that night, I tucked Lulu into her bed. I got into my bed and turned on the TV and watched South Park. Next thing I know, I feel a THUMP! and a little pug walks up beside me and curls up on my pillow. We look at each other and I though, "OK, so these are gonna be the sleeping arrangements?"

Within a month, I would be moving up to Reno, NV with Jesse, who was at the time my boyfriend. He hadn't met Lulu yet, but a month later, he met Lulu and we moved up to Reno. I brought half my things up one weekend and then the following weekend, Jesse was out of school and he drove back up with me and Lulu. He did most of the driving as Lulu got spayed earlier in the week and still had her stitches and was taking her post-op medications. Fortunately, we made it up in one piece.

Lulu wasn't very sure of Jesse at first, but he grew on her. I think she was still kind of torn over the moving from one owner to another to me at my parent's house to me with Jesse and she went through some really bad separation anxiety the first six months I had her. She would destroy shoes, tear the trash out and place it at various places around the apartment, share my used tampon applicators with the couch. But even still, no matter how awful she could be, she was my baby pug. She could do no wrong. No matter what she did, all she had to do was look at me with her big pug dog eyes and I could just imagine her saying, "I LOVE YOU MOMMY! LOOK WHAT I DID!" She didn't know better. I could never be angry with her.

When I got pregnant, Lulu knew something was up. No matter how pregnant I was, a few weeks to ready to pop, she was always very careful around my belly. I'll never forget when Charlie started kicking and Lulu and I were laying down on the couch watching TV one evening. Jesse was working nights at that time, so Lulu and I spent a lot of evenings watching TV or laying in bed together. She was laying parallel to my belly when Charlie kicked. She jumped and turned around to see what happened and couldn't see anything. Then she sniffed my belly to see just what the heck was going on in there.

I always wondered what would happen when Charlie was born how it would affect Lulu. I had never been away from her and when I had to stay in the hospital for three days with my c-section, it tore her heart up. I came home and she was so happy to see me. She was jumping and her tail was wagging and it was the best day of her life to have Mommy home again. And I won't lie, I wanted to be around her more than I wanted to be around Charlie. She didn't cry constantly. She wasn't so needy. She was a provider of unconditional pug dog love and I could cuddle her all day if you let me. She was curious as to what Charlie was all about. She knew he was that thing that was growing in my belly that would kick her when she laid at my side.

We all had our own special relationships with Lulu. I was Mommy. I was the unconditional love to her that she was to me. We were partners in crime. She was with me all day long. My first nights home from the hospital she laid on the floor all night staring at me as I tried frustrated to get Charlie to eat. I called her to my side and her little tail wagged that she was allowed to sit with me by the thing we called a Charlie. Instead of a Boppy pillow, she offered her pudgy pug dog services. When I would sit rocking Charlie, she would curl up into the little crevices between me and the glider. I couldn't help but question all the time how uncomfortable she must have been squished up like that, but she didn't care. She was with Mommy.

When I lost my job after Charlie was born, Lulu helped keep me sane. No matter how frustrated I got sometimes, she would look at me as if to tell me, "It's going to be OK." When Charlie took naps, I sat with Lulu on my lap, petting her till she would fall asleep and start snoring. Sometimes, she would snore so hard, she would scare herself and wake up.

Lulu and I were very close. I always considered her my dog. Yes, the whole family loved her and she loved them too, but I always felt I was the one she loved most. Jesse was the fun one. He was Daddy and Lulu loved Daddy. He did all the crazy fun play and rough housing I didn't do. Charlie was Lulu's baby. She was so proud and protective of him. But as he got older, she started to realize she was no longer the alpha pug and had to listen to him and it confused her a bit as to why she now had to listen to the child she had spent the last three years protecting.

I have never felt the pain and heartbreak for anyone or anything ever that I felt this morning when we had to say goodbye to my beloved baby pug. I had never wanted anything more in my life than to have my darling little Lulu. She was my pride and joy and in an instant, she was injured beyond recovery. It tore me apart to have to say goodbye to her, but it would break my heart even more to have to see her spend the rest of her life in pain, agony, and miserable. I wish I could go back in time and protect her. I failed her as her Mommy. It was a freak accident, but it was an accident and could have been prevented. I'm at a loss for words and wish I could do anything to have my Lulu back.

I'm sorry you had to go Lulu. I love you more than your little pug heart could ever know. You're my baby and my heart aches that you are gone. I PUG LU!