Kynlee- I came so close to calling you on the way home, today the ladies at work were mad that my boss planned the shower on the night we all have come in at 5am for a floormove. When we brought it up, boss opposed it her argument is we won't have anytime if we wait with the holidays coming up. Boss knows I don't want to attend it still I am working on a way out of this...even if someone has to call me in the middle of dinner at the Olive Garden to get me out of there. Maybe I could show up to drop off the gift, eat a little and the phone rings? I don't want to appear dramatic, but I will come up with some way to handle both me and them.

Nicole- Yes she knows she needs to be in good standing so we will let her come back after maturity leave, but she still thinks by law we have to hold her position open. I'm not really understanding why she wants to come back because we don't pay a whole lot and she's part time with no benefits, she must think of the ladies there as her family. Sweet but realistically daycare would cost her more then she's earning. There's so much for her to figure out but she got herself in this situation so this is for her to figure out. My boss needs to understand she cannot get involved and try to fix her problems or make up excuses for the personal actions she's taken, she needs to grow up and the only way that's going to happen is for her to accept responsibility. I still daydream about kidnapping someone's baby and who knows maybe it will be hers that would be the ideal novel to publish. hehe

Wondercat- Thank you for answering my question about the Lupron med, it all makes sense now and shots begin tomorrow night. Dr wants me to start a round of Doxocycline with dh tomorrow too...I like your idea about carrying a little cosmetic bag with extra syringes and alcohol swaps helpful tip!

Ninde- How are things going for you at the office?

Leora- How is everything going with you girlie?

Anton- How is the wedding plans coming along? we miss you so much. xx

Here is something for everyone to ponder..."If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present..."

AFM: Meds start tomorrow, I cannot believe this day is finally almost here, I know it's just meds but I feel we are finally moving forward and yes that does make me anxious but excited.

Sunshine, so excited that you start meds tomorrow! Your coworker likely doesn't have a lot of support and thinks of you all as friends. I don't have issues with work showers but it must be optional. Stand your ground.

Ninde, I got horrible flu like symptoms, tons of full body pain, along with serious depression. I was on avonex for 6 months before switching to tysabri. I broke thru the avonex along with the side effects. My mom reacted the same way and instead of the side effects getting better, they got worse for both of us. My mom takes methotrexate now for consistent immune suppression. My migraines are better. I'm getting daily headaches but they aren't getting as severe. I'm sorry you are feeling sad about you anniversary. We all support you and feel your pain.

Pocos, we are deciding now for when to start. I told dh that I think I need a little break. I don't see how we would fork over $12000 ($3000 we paid yesterday) plus the balance plus the FET costs in the next week. I know my dh has savings and I've been working on mine but it scares me to drop that kind of money without making a plan. We were lucky to have had $30000 in lifetime benefits that we have used. I freak out knowing we have spent $38000 total including benefits and are no better off than when we started.

Question for you all, how do you decide how far to go? We will use out FET and hopefully be successful. But if we are not, we will be faced with the decision of moving on, trying again, or traveling abroad for a lower cost option. I know that often the financial aspect is the decision maker, but aside from that how are you drawing lines for when to stop?

Ninde-thinking of you... Keeing you in my thoughts and prayers. Please know I'm here for you. Sending you a GREAT BIG HUG.

Sorry I haven't posted lately. I've bee quite busy with the girls. I am still vey sleep deprived. Girls are sleeping about 2-3 hours between feeding. Anna has been the most challenging. She cries anytime she is put down especially for bed. The other might she cried on and off for over an hour I need to find a better sleep schedule for them but it's been z challenge. Not sure what to do. Other than that, we are all doing very well. Anna is weighing 9 lbs-11 ounces and Katetina is weighing 8 lbs-12 ounces. A far cry from their birth weights They are really thriving.

Even though I haven't posted, I do read everones updates whenever I get a chance. Please know that I pray for each of you everyday. Sending you all my love. Xoxo...

Hi girls- Sorry I wasn't around yesturday been sick with stupid alergies the weather keeps changing around here and making everyone sick. I went to the doc yesturday and she was freaking out about putting me on anything because of my situation and horomone meds. She couldn't get it through her head that I'm not doing any injectables right now just metformin for my Pcos after talking to another doc she finnaly did give me something and after sleeping all day yesturday I feel so much better today.

Sunshine and Pocos-- As far as I know we are doing the usual BCP for a month with Lupron and the stiming for a couple of weeks. He will do a ER and keep 2 to put back in on day 5 and freeze the others. He's going to keep an eye on those 2 for 5 days if they don't make it then he has some more to defrost right away to transfer. He didn't go into to much detail but he said this will give him the ability to keep them out longer than the 3 days and he will have back ups, and if needed I will have some for FET later. It made since when we talked about it a few weeks ago.

Patricia- I am really excited about this round. I feel more confident and confertable because I know more now then I knew the last round. I'm happy my puppy is a little older this time He caused me the most of my anxiety just with not having patients for him at all lol if that makes any sence.

woundercat- I'm glad your trying again right along with me. I just can't wait for AF to get here so I can start BCP. I started last month on the 10th so I should start sometime next week. I need to take inventory pretty soon so I'm prepared for what med's I'll need this round.

Ninde – How are you feeling? I hope you are feeling better. Sending you a hug.

Sunshine – Yay for today!

Nicole – I ask myself the same question… How far can I go? I still don’t know but I think I will keep trying until we can. I think I’d rather pay for another IVF cycle than travel. Its my biggest dream, its hard to give up.

WeHaveHope – Thank you – I believe in the power of prayer, please continue to pray for us.

Tawny – Hope you are feeling better from the allergies. I hope this fall finally bring us babies! Good luck in your cycle!

AFM - Nothing new -still on Lupron. I have been trying to stay relaxed but now I am starting to get headaches. I hate these lupron headaches. I have an aunt and cousin that are not very pleasant and keep inviting themselves to come to our house for lunch (always with the excuse that she bought a gift). This time its a gift for my birthday that happened last month. She said its a fall gift so she needs to see me asap so I wear it. I saw them in the middle of my last IVF cycle in July becasue they wouldnt stop bothering me about coming to my house to bring me a gift. This time I said I dont have time to see them, my classes started, I am working full time... They are those type of guests that are picky eaters/drinkers, hard to please. They invite themselves too (they are brazilian, its normal to just show up at peoples houses in Brazil without being invited. Thank God they have to drive for 1 hour to get to my house, otherwise they would be there all the time. They dont invite us to their house because they live in a very small apartment, so everything has to be in my house. I told her she will have to wait until I have time (probably around Christmas). I have to learn to say NO to people, I am always nice to this aunt, help her with everything (since she doesnt speak English very well). Her son does, but she said she doesnt trust him to do stuff for her. I worked on her Green card papers, accounting stuff, divorce papers,call to make doctor appointments for her, dentist appointments, etc. So tired of them, my mom said I have to start saying NO and let her son deal with her stuff.

hi ladies IM BACK ive thrown myself in to work been working 12-15hours everyday so no time for babymaking i hope everone fine and im throwin everyon lots ov sticky baby dust well so you ladies know we been trying to conceive for 4 years had all the tests going and only thing we found was my hubby as a mobility problem weve had 2 failed ivfs and 3 failed ivf's so my doc recommended i try a new test called hidden c and i collect a sample of my period blood and sent it to a centre in athens as anyone heard of this before?they test for hidden Chlamydia which i wasnt expecting it come back postive becuse i had swab after swabs done to check for std's but hey it came back postive !it put alot ov questions in your realationship but doctor explained few things to us about it as its not only contracted sexually but thats another story the fact is it was postive ...me n the hubby took 15 days ov anti b's and i ad to retest 4 months after ..my ivf doctor says its a big reason why the ivf asnt worked co the embies wont stick if its a unrealiable enviroment ...shit luck its come back postive again!!!i still have it can anyone help me with this....ohhh and 1st thing some people think like i was one of them is someone is cheating ive been faithfull for 13years i keep good track on my hubby and im sure he wouldnt of ....but it could ov been contracted from a previous partner.....but why wouldnt it show up on a swab.....i wanted to start my 4th round ov ivf this month but not going happen now help me please ladies

Nicole- I wish I could answer your question it's more of a personal decision that only you and dh can determine when that time is right. For us once we get through the Attain program we will know we did everything we could and will seek adoption at that point. I must add this was dh's decision to press forward with IVF because I was certainly ready to adopt two years ago because I really wasn't comfortable with the financial risk and having unexplained fertility made it complicated but dh didn't think we were ready for adoption, kept telling me he felt we weren't quite there yet. We went back and forth AND finally sat down and talked about it found a way to make a loan payment work but it's going to require ALOT of budgeting on my part any way I can. I think only in your own heart you will know when the time is right. Going through this treatment is hard enough but it helps when we can figure out a backup plan ahead of time. xx

Greekchick- Good to hear from you, I certainly remember cycling with you over in 2010 with Anton. I wonder how she is doing these days but I read your post and I'm not sure what advice to give you...I know the feeling of uncertainty and you want to jump into IVF but it's not good if you're physicallly not ready.It sounds like another month of testing might give you some clarity and help give you some time to prepare for your upcoming IVF to make this successful.

Pocos- I hope the family drama gets better, I agree we have to stand our ground with family (and coworker) stuff as well.

AFM: sorry to cut this short, must pack for a weekend heading back home for my cousin's wedding. Talk more on Monday, have a great weekend ladies!

Pocos, I actually meant traveling to do the ivf. I've been looking at Cyprus. Super bonus to be in a lovely place and in the same country as Anton. I found this http://www.dogusivfcentre.com/en/30/blo ... ivf-abroad. The total cost with travel would still be less than here.

Nicole - If I didn't have insurance, I would definitely do IVF abroad, its much cheaper. I would probably go to Brazil since my family lives there, so I wouldnt have to pay for a hotel. I know in Brazil it costs $6,000 or R$12,000 (brazilian currency Reais) for the IVF/ICSI (everything included, medication, ultrasounds, blood work, retrieval, transfer...).

It can be cheaper if you can be a egg donor, you share your eggs and don't need to pay for the treatment. The person receiving your eggs pay for your treatment and gets half of your eggs, I know some ladies that had male factor and didn't pay for their treatments because they shared their eggs as donors.

sunshine--hi hun im fine thank me and anton talk shes fine and still stalks the board ..i changed my doctor feelin lots better now he said he cant see a pro hes put me n the hubby on anti b's for 20 days 3 different kinds and vaginal gel and vitamins the thing is with testing the menstural blood u have to do it every 4 months i cant wait four months but my doc pretty confident it isnt as a big deal as i thought but i need the theoapy before i start treatment for ivf...hope ur well...x

Nicole: I know where you are coming from with your question. I think its a very difficult one because it means when we stop that tne hope goes and that's a very tough thing to give up. For us age is a big factor as is cost - though adoption as I've explained is even more expensive for us. I was 41 today and my egg reserve is diminishing steeply. My re put it an interesting way she said although finances shouldnt be the deciding factor they often have to be and she said its important to consider the investment in terms of the uncertainty versus how the money could be used to enrich our lives albeit differently. If I had endless cash I would try another few cycles but like most people we dont. So for me its age and finance with age being higher.

Christy: have a great break.

Pocos: thank you for your fb post. How are you?

Greek: good to hear fom you although the circumstances surrounding you sound rough. I hadn't heard of the hidden c test - im glad they have found it in case it was a factor but im so sorry about the stress its caused. How are you and your dh coping with it?

Afm: had a nice day, horrible argument with my twin marred it but that's ok

Hi ladies! I have not posted in several months, but I wanted to let you know that I still stalk the board. I am praying for all of you. I know how tough this process can be!

Sunshine- I did the Attain program too! We had 1 fresh cycle that did not work and left us with only 1 frosty. We forfeited an FET so that we could move on to another fresh cycle. That cycle ended in a miscarriage, but I got my beautiful twins out of my FET after that! It is a great program, and relieves a lot of stress. We still have 1 frosty and will likely transfer in February. If you have any questions about Attain, please ask! Good luck!

So glad you are all moving forward. I am here cheering you on until I can cycle in March. I am pretty sure we will be doing egg bank this time. I am just too old to do another fresh cycle. You get 6 eggs and if you do not get two high quality embryos you get next cycle free. This all cost about $17,000. There success is at 65%. Compared to 3% if i use my own eggs. I am 44 and this is our last chance.

So I will stalk you silently for the most part. I am praying for all of you.