History will tell you that John Lennon and Tupac Shakur were both gunned down by assassins, that Marilyn Monroe and Kurt Cobain were both so depressed that they committed suicide—yet what if they actually just wanted to escape to a tropical island, where they could spend the rest of their days drinking frosty almost-beers? That’s the alternate theory proposed by this commercial for Bavaria Radler, which finds all of the above, along with Elvis and Bruce Lee, living in blessed seclusion, far from the madding crowds, but always near a cold bottle of fruit-flavored beer.

The resulting ad is a concoction of humor and celebrity desecration that goes down every bit as smooth as a brew mixed with lemon-lime soda. Marilyn rubs sunscreen on 2Pac’s “Thug Life” tattoo. Lennon (who, honestly, looks more like Brian Cox with a hippie wig) calls the bartender over with “Hey Jude,” winking at a song Paul McCartney wrote to Lennon’s son in the midst of his divorce. And Kurt Cobain—having grown pleasantly plump by trading heroin for citrus beer cocktails, apparently—witnesses Monroe’s accidental upskirt and nearly vomits. See, it’s funny because he suffered from intense stomach problems and hated the idea of being co-opted by corporations, so he shot himself and now can’t say anything about it! Anyway, enjoy it in this brief respite before Courtney Love weighs in. [via Dangerous Minds]