Bob W. is a daddy! It seems to mark and end in my life. It has strangely affected me. Our "relationship" was nothing more than a flirtation , but one can find lots written about him in my journals. He was the first boy who really showed any signs of "liking" me and the first to kiss me. I was so uptight, though, about who saw us together. I felt ashamed that I was going around, arm and arm with this moron. But I was very physically attracted to him. He had "kissable lips" as I used to think.

With Jeremy, he's the kind of man I can live with forever. He will be successful, probably, and I can see the world with him. I still don't know if I am truly in love with him but he's familiar. I don't want to have to get used to someone else. We are good for each other, I think. We will work. We shall have children and I shall learn to be passionate towards him. I suppose all men are alike, and he's just being "manly". So since he's close to the best I'll keep him. Since I don't intend on letting these be read until after I'm dead, I can't be hurt by what I wrote. I hope Jeremy or our children aren't either.

Newspaper clipping of the words and chords for Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds.

I like this song. "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" It is from The Yellow Submarine. by the Beatles.

Kevin told me an interesting thing -- it is about LSD (Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.). It's a hallucination. I have just finished singing it. :-) Jeremy and I watched The Yellow Submarine on TV at his house. This one was strange -- not at all like I pictured it.

Note
Some of this entry was not transcribed. Not for uptight reasons, but because it was hurtful. Not that some is not hurtful as it is.

Funny that I said very little about losing Cinder and Cinder returning. It was a traumatic month for me. Cinder was accidentally let outside during a party my mom and dad held. We looked for her, but feared the worst. Mom found an ad in the paper about a black cat needing a home. Apparently the cat belonged to the son and he was not taking care of it so they told him they were giving it away. They called the cat Lucifer and said that if it didn't work out to call them and they would take it back. I renamed the cat Ebony but we didn't really get along. For one thing it was a male and he would hump my leg when I was lying down. It did turn out just fine when Cinder returned. The son of the family got a second chance with his cat.

Finally, I am shocked that my brother (only 14 at the time) knew about LSD.

No comments:

Me then

Me now:

Why I'm doing such a crazy thing

I have a large collection of journals that I have kept over the years. When I read them I can vividly remember my feelings at the time of writing or the experience I was writing about. Sometimes I am embarrassed by the directness of the writing. Sometimes I am amazed at the way I had with words as a teenager. Sometimes I feel as if I have lost that skill.

This is purely a selfish exercise, and most likely not interesting to anyone else but myself.