Atheism, Community & Children

As a mother and Atheist ( for over 20 years) I've found the hardest aspect of being an Atheist and a parent - is finding community. Not just for myself - but for my children. Community and socialization are crucial in a child's development. I feel this in one of the most significant reasons there is less women in Atheism - because there is less family in Atheism. In meet-ups, they are predominately male - and usually at libraries.

They discuss philosophy and science ... Not child friendly.

As you read statuses and updates by fellow Atheists- you'll notice us wives and our children omitted. Very rare - is the admission of wives, children, our family life. Women are the backbone of church - they are what keeps 'faith' alive...But not faith in God, instead faith in family and community. If we want reason to grow - then we have to find a way to include the atheist family - to offer support and community for our growing families. To organize social groups that are centered on family life and provide that crucial social development and bonds through friendship and community that are for now , found mainly in church. We have to supply an alternative...This is what keeps many people I know from outting- fear of losing community and the bonds they've built.

Replies to This Discussion

I tend to agree with you, that if you are different in any way a lot of times, you are not the one that everyone wants to be known to associate with.. If you allow your self to be known as an atheist alot of times that causes problems. .Being from the South I know how that goes..

Exactly - my kids get ostracized. But when I look for 'community' I know I won't find it in Atheism though either. I must be honest in that. Most women want/need that source of communication, of involvement - this is my opinion of why so many women are in church and so few willing to migrate to non belief , even if they are atheist- I've witnessed this; I've felt this. It's one 'thing; when it's just you - but when it becomes your kids, it's another subject. So if we ask why isn't there more women &women in children, you have to ask what does atheism offer for both in some very crucial areas and relationships in their life... vs church ? It isn't just theology. It's the bond ... to community. I keep seeing 'why are women not so much in the Atheist movement? "

I see women- rarely mothers. I'm tired of seeing the comments such as ' they don't grasp philosophy or science, don't care for politics... " It never crosses their minds women and children meed community. They need support , inclusion ... This might be the biggest reason women stay in church or don't come out.

Yes I did - you're going off topic , I refuse to. the topic is in relation to women ; community and church- as to why so many women are in churches, but not Atheism.

There is no lack of men in atheism - there is on Sunday at church or at church events. So much so, they've started trying to make events geared toward men. By saying women need inclusion and community- doesn't imply men don't. So you're reading into for the sake of arguing something that hasn't been claimed. You have yet to answer anything really - other than to bicker or attack.

First of all I think the question goes right to the heart of the issue. You make the claim that there are less women 'out' as atheists because women need community & inclusion. The implication is clear that you feel that women need this more than men.

So where is the evidence that community & inclusion are what is keeping women from coming 'out' as atheists besides your conjecture? Where is the evidence that women are in anyway being disadvantaged by there being no specific atheist events?

Secondly I have asked several questions that you have either dodged or disregarded. I have made points that you are yet to address.

I'm not simply asking these questions to 'bicker or attack' - I'm asking these questions because I disagree with your post and I'm trying to see if you have something to say which will change my mind.

Angie, you know I have to be honest with you the only reason that I have been a so called pagan for so long was just because It is hard to make friends who have no belief! I agree, I need community, I need friends that I can relate too.

That I can have a beer with, watch a movie, get together and let the kids play. With out the social ramifications of them trying to convert me to being what ever they are..

I don't discuss my opinions freely and openly very often, because it leads to hell in my life.. IT would certainly be nice to have other friends that I could hang out with and not have to walk on pins and needles around in the hopes to not offend them..

I agree discussing politics and science is great, but what about the other things, family, life, the past, the present.. When you have friends that are involved in church the first thing they are worried about is what little thing you say that they can draw you in on..

It would be nice to be able to let my hair down and say thank goodness I don't have to worry about this person falling to their knees in prayer for my soul making it an awkward moment.. (that is a little extreme) but you get what I mean..

I have been away from home for a long time, I have met very few people since living away from AL.One of those reasons is because it is hard to meet others that value family life, that does not expect you to convert if you are to build a friend ship with them..

That's what I'm missing , my kids are missing too ... But more importantly , I think church offers a social 'mall' for all types of interactions which has now become a main source. This is the reason I see many mothers reluctant to leave church... where do we find community and socialization on that scale ? Where can our children interact , safely and in array of events structured around family ? I've tried to create the parents meet up groups - to no positive result. I either get fear of exposure or 'we're not organizing!' or it's just all men. That's all I can find in local... So I give up and now have to find outside sources- I worry my kids will grow up thinking something must be wrong with mom & dads beliefs or lack thereof- they've never had others around us who share them. There's no outlet, no meet ups , no community center... no secular groups I've met who have children, local.

"I don't consider atheism to be unfriendly to kids..." You missed the point too - it's not that Atheism is unfriendly - it has yet to embrace the family and bring community - such as church. Which is what draws and keeps many in church - not so much the theism. It hasn't escaped my notice that the only woman who has commented is a mutual friend of mine - the rest have been men and have missed the intent of post...

Since no other women have replied and men have missed 9 if you read back on comments) the gist - I will close the subject. We can't even discuss community... let alone provide one.