Father hopes his loss on 9/11 can be turned to good

Sept. 5, 2006

Updated Aug. 21, 2013 1:17 p.m.

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LOST HIS DAUGHTER: Tom Frost of Rancho Santa Margarita, who lost his daughter, Lisa, sits in front of a poster that is part of a 9/11 exhibit at Casa Romantica in San Clemente. CINDY YAMANAKA, THE ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER

LOST HIS DAUGHTER: Tom Frost of Rancho Santa Margarita, who lost his daughter, Lisa, sits in front of a poster that is part of a 9/11 exhibit at Casa Romantica in San Clemente. CINDY YAMANAKA, THE ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER

Tom Frost

Age: 53

Home: Rancho Santa Margarita

9/11 connection: Father of Lisa Frost, who died in the World Trade Center attacks

Family: Wife, Melanie; son, Daniel.

Quote: "She was just such a perfect daughter. Who would have ever dreamed she'd become part of American history? But that's exactly what she did. Sometimes I still can't believe I'm a part of this. I don't want to be, but I am. I'm strong enough to live up to the responsibility of it. I'll never shy away. If I shy away, it says they won."

Tom Frost's daughter, Lisa, was on the plane that slammed into the South Tower of the World Trade Center. Lisa, 22, of Rancho Santa Margarita, had recently graduated from Boston University and was heading home to visit before starting a job in San Francisco.

The Frosts will spend Sept. 11 at a memorial service in Arizona and will dedicate the Lisa Frost Student Lounge at Boston University this winter.

Q. How did you find out about the attacks that day?

A.I was at work, on the graveyard shift for Southern California Edison. A crew member from the field called me and said, "Turn on the TV, something big is happening in New York." I turned it on just in time to see Lisa's plane flying into the building. I said, "Oh my God, those poor people." I had no idea Lisa was on that plane.

Q. How are you able to be calm?

A.My parents brought me up to not take revenge on someone. To be peaceful-minded. I don't want retribution, I want justice.

Q. Has the pain lessened?

A.There was a documentary on TV, "Flight 175." I learned a lot of details about what happened on Lisa's plane. … They said it was only 17 minutes from the time they took over the plane until they crashed it. They had already murdered one flight attendant and pilots. The horrors she must have gone through during those 17 minutes, it's hard for me to handle. One woman who was interviewed said that every time they show that picture of the plane hitting the tower, "I have to watch my daughter die again." It's very difficult to do that.

Q. What have you learned?

A.Lisa was a very giving person. She helped people at any chance she got. When she was at BU, she was a student adviser and peer counselor. I've tried to spread that message and tell people, if you want to remember Lisa, go out and do something today. Donate to a food bank. Volunteer on a community service project. It was a horrible thing to do to people, what they did. I want to turn it around and bring some good out of it. They didn't take us down, they created good, which is just the opposite of what they wanted. If we can do that, we win. They lose.

Q. What do you think the next five years hold?

A.I feel like we've put a chink in (the terrorists') armor. They're not as strong or as organized as they used to be. But one thing I read that disturbs me is that, because of our involvement in Iraq and other areas, it's causing people to take up the al-Qaida cause and join them.

Q. Can you forgive?

A.It's of my nature to forgive them, but they're not showing one sign of remorse … they're coming after us. And as long as they're doing that, I can't forgive the people who did this to my daughter.

Q. What are some of your fondest memories of Lisa?

A. I ran the Boston Marathon in '99 when she was a sophomore at BU. The day I was leaving was the Columbine tragedy. Lisa gave me a hug that day that I'll never forget. It said, Dad, this is not right, I don't ever want to lose you or have you lose me. It solidified what I already knew: that she loved her mother and me dearly, there was nothing that would ever change that. Other fond memories are when she graduated from BU as valedictorian and we spoke with a number of her professors. … "I wish I could clone your daughter." "She's a gem." I was beaming. I'd give everything if I could just hug her one more time.

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