They’re in the streets, calling senators and congressmen, attending community board meetings, and holding sign-making parties. But while the political universes of my white friends are cracking open, I’m feeling more inclined than ever to cloister myself.

I’ve gone on a few dates with white guys in the last few months, and the same thing always happens.

Whenever I’m standing on a subway platform, I play this game: I hover near a person I think is cute and try to slowly make my way over to him so we get in the same car. Like most of the girls in my class, I wanted attention from the boys.

When we do, I look his way every so often to see if he’s staring back, to see if we’ve got what my best friend and I call “the affinity,” a mutual acknowledgement that we one another. But while they chased after blondes and brunettes, I was ignored.

But my ex-boyfriend, being a Caucasian male, don’t know nothin’ about that.“What are you doing? ” But that wasn’t the “rude awakening” I had during that relationship, there were many! For a dark moment, my thoughts traveled to the far future: I envisioned myself coming home after experiencing a distressing episode of racist microagressions at work and needing someone to console me, someone to understand me, someone to with me.

”He stared at me quizzically.“Yes, just give me just one second. It’s a cultural oddity for some, but for me, it was something I cherished. You don’t want to date a white man over some damn chicken?

After all, he volunteered to cook for me, which was touchingly sweet, and I certainly didn’t want to ruin the dinner by complaining about microbe-infested, bland fried chicken cutlets.

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