Tuesday, August 3, 2010

The girl who wants to take you down with her. (2/8)

Just a little housekeeping.
1. The fast is going well. I got really dizzy a bunch of times today, but I stayed strong! I even did 200 crunches and lifted weights...500 would've been gold...
2. I can't believe that I already have ELEVEN followers. That number is SO signifigant in my life. Not only is it my lucky number, but...maybe I'll save that another post ;)
Thank you for your comments. I don't actually consider you guys to be "followers". More like friends. Or, better yet, sisters. Family. This blog is becoming my home away from home and I love it.

Now, enough of the cheese, I have a story to tell.

There's this girl I work with. Ever since I started working at this particular place about a year and a half ago, this girl has been onto me. Let me explain.

When I first started working, I barely knew anyone. Yet this girl though that it would be appropriate to discuss weight and body image with a stranger. We're the same age and we were both graduating that year from different high schools. She randomly comes up to me one day and starts talking about how she has this gorgeous grad dress that she can't fit into. Grad was about 4 months away and she explained how she was going to lose 40 pounds before the big day.

Now, this girl is actually obese. Not severely, but she passed overweight a LONG time ago. And on top of that, she's about 5'1-5'2. In fact, when she saw that I wasn't really interested she says something like "Ya, I know I'm SO fat. I'm pushing 200 pounds and I used to be SO skinny like a stick -- how much do you weigh?". I was completely thrown off. I didn't know whether to say "How dare you?" or "None of your damn business!". Instead I said something along the lines of "I don't share that kind of personal information with people". Classy, and straight to the point. But guess who didn't get the message?

She then tried to coax me into telling her. She was like, "Aww, common. I'm like a size 14 in pants, what do you wear?". Now, at that time, I was much heavier...actually I was at my HW. And I wore a size 13. So I almost lol'd when she told me that. So not only was she trying to get me to spill the beans, but she had the audacity to LIE to my face. Yes, I wear glasses, but that doesn't make me BLIND!

Anyways, fast forward a year and a half full of her staring at me from a distance or coming up behind me and asking "hey, did you lose weight?", or trying to JUSTIFY her bad eating habits. Like one day on break, she was warming up a bowl of noodles as I walked in and she goes "OH! I'm just SO hungry I could eat ANYTHING, even though this isn't healthy." Can you believe that? She said that right as I walked in. I didn't say a word. She's also one of those people who stare at you as you eat. Not just at you though, but at your food and everything. She once asked me "Is that ALL your gonna eat!?" In this fake-ass oh-I-truly-care-about-you voice. I literally block my food now because I get paranoid. Anyways, I digress.

So what is the point of this story you may ask?
Well, this girl, who I shall now refer to as Bitch, and I got into a huggggeee fight. Ever since that day we have been on no-talking terms. Bitch still stares, but I couldn't give a damn. You know why? Because she truly has something to stare at now -- my shrinking self. And you know what? I can literally see the envy in her eyes. It excites and motivates me. Reverse-thinspo? Maybe, I don't know. But everytime I see her eyes widen and stare me down, I feel victorious. Because I know that secretly inside, she wishes that I was gaining weight instead of losing it. That she could once again complain about her back fat and have me sympathize with her just to make herself feel better. That I could be fat like her.

i've had those kind of people try to get me to tell them my sizes and stuff, im sure she envies your body and wants you to be her "goal weight".what you said was quite classy, there are boundaries some people should just not cross and she did.damn your on fire girl ;)true reverse thinspo!

Wow, this is the story of my life. Except instead of a bitchy co-worker, it's a bitchy best "friend". When she first found out I was losing weight, she actually said that I couldn't do it and laughed at me. So now I've lost almost 40 pounds, whereas she has tried and failed many times to lose weight. I know she is extremely envious and she also watches me like a hawk when I'm eating, and tries to tell me how the body works, etc., you know the type.Anyway, ignore her and let her wallow in her self misery, and let her be your motivation to keep losing.

Geez, people like that just bug me. It is frustrating when people just assume things about you, or think they know you. And jealously -- that's just lame! She should've been happy for you, the damn cow :/ It's not your fault she's to lazy to do anything.

Good on your for not being like her. Anyways, you're doing so dang awesome.

those who watch her metamorphosize into more than just a butterfly.

S.A.P.H.I.R.A

Picture this: A young female, currently educating herself in an instituation known as university, who's obsessed with music (mostly in the form of mj), clothes, Archie (double digest) comics, & counting calories. Now, slap her with a name (how about Saphira?) and you've got me. As I take each breath, I shed the skin draped over my body by the previous day and am reborn.