Academy Promises Execution Of Those That Flubbed Best Picture Award

HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA – Amid a firestorm of accusations and finger pointing, the Academy Awards vowed Tuesday to harshly punish those involved in the award mix up by execution by firing squad or electric chair.

“We are looking closely at our tabulating partner PricewaterhouseCoopers and we believe that what they did is a felony crime punishable by death.” An unnamed source from the Academy told The Cob.

“We thought about lashings and long prison sentences, but in the end we thought this was a far more serious concern.” The rep continued.

“This award is the single most important award ever given. There is nothing like it. Medal of Honor. Nope. World Series Trophy. Nope. This is it nothing bigger.” The Academy rep concluded.

As of Tuesday afternoon, PricewaterhouseCoopers representatives have called the Academy, “Insane” and “Completely out of touch with reality”. Their statement also stated that “Nobody really watches the Oscars anyway, thus the damage caused was minimal.”

When seeking further comment The Cob learned that nobody else in the entire United States seemed to care.