Young Waiter, Older Babe: A Not Quite Love Story

Service with a smile, and…?

Dressed wrong, too, according to my store-window reflection. Ever have one of those days when you’re just disgusted with yourself and need the Jenny Craig hotline?

I had just rushed up to the giant mall to nab the only free time-slot in all the land for the Apple Store Genius Bar, where they serve computer geeks. I also had an important business call I needed to make before that, so I roamed the outdoor food court testing for full phone-bars and low mall music.

I chose to park myself at the dark quiet bar inside PF Chang’s restaurant, where, in under a minute, my evil twin blurted out an order for orange-peel shrimp and a martini. She’s a complete disaster.

I had papers everywhere on the bar and proceeded to make a long call. It was Friday, and I admitted with a chuckle that I was at a bar drinking and eating during our call. The fellow business-babe on the other end shared the laugh. Geez, it’s great to be old and fearless.

It was a great call to end the week on, full of possibilities, but I had to hustle because my Genius Bar appointment was in five minutes. Out of nowhere, a young handsome waiter leaned in very close to ask about all my papers.

Nice kid, so I was nice back. He proceeded to make a very clear appeal for a sexual liaison. I thought I was on Candid Camera. He said he was 30. I said, "Yeah, and I’m Lassie."

He looked way younger and made it clear he loved older women, and in particular ME at the moment. I was clear, I had two minutes to get to the geeks, and clearer that I thought he was very brazen.

Gotta admit I laughed to myself on the way out. For a second there, I thought maybe I didn’t look so bloated after all, but then I caught my reflection passing the window.