Monday, June 10, 2013

Apropos of Tom Hanks being claimed to be the most trusted man in America I present this :

Tom Hanks and Dan Aykroyd rapping during the end credits of the movie Dragnet (1987). A quick search and I find its own music video including extensive choreographed and synchronized dancing.

Note Tom Hanks going for the 1980s style of shouting out the lyrics.

Performed by Dan Aykroyd and Tom Hanks
Featuring Glenn Hughes and Pat Thrall
Written by Peter Aykroyd, Dan Aykroyd and Pat Thrall
produced by J.B. Moore and Robert Ford

The lyrics to City of Crime :

Dan Aykroyd : This is the city. It's a city of crime. My name is Friday. I carry a badge.

Dan Aykroyd : 3:15 a.m., Thursday, January 15. It was chilly that morning in the City of Angels.

On this particular occasion we happened to witness a pagan* ritual in progress.

Dan Aykroyd : See that, Streebek? We’re just in time

We have stumbled into a major crime

Tom Hanks : They've got the girl all fright

Now that’s not nice

I think she is the subject of a sacrifice

Dan Aykroyd : Buddy, we’re putting this party on ice

Tom Hanks : But first you know we really ought to read 'em their rights

Dan Aykroyd : Read ‘em their rights

Read ‘em their rights

Tom Hanks :

Well, I’m here tonight to rap about your rights

Cause right now you’re in trouble

Don’t have to say nothing at all, you all got two calls

And you’d better make ‘em on the double

Pagans :

This is a city of crime

Don’t step out of line

This is a city of crime

You’d better be praying your judge is kind

Dan Aykroyd :

You’re a dangerous mob and it is our job

To bust you all for being violent

While we are here let’s state it clear

Tom Hanks : You have the right to remain silent!

Pagan :

Well, excuse me copper, Mr. Crimestopper,

What is wrong with what we’re doing?

We just like to dance in our goatskin pants

Around this ancient ruin

Tom Hanks : Now it's not so funny,

That it costs big money

If you ever have to hire a lawyer

Dan Aykroyd : It’s my duty to inform you

And my pleasure to warn you

Tom Hanks : We’ll provide one for ya! Huh!

Pagans :

This is a city of crime

Don’t step out of line

This is a city of crime

You're looking at seven to nine

Dan Aykroyd : Now you know what you’ve been doing is a serious crime

Tom Hanks : And you'll probably be doing some serious time

Dan Aykroyd : In case you might be worried about the friends you lose

Tom Hanks : At least they get to see you on the evening news

Dan Aykroyd : It’s a new sensation

Tom Hanks : We go down to the station

Dan Aykroyd : You’re going to answer some questions

Tom Hanks : And have some refreshments

Dan Aykroyd : What is your full name? What were you doing on January 15th of this year? All we want is the truth, mister. What were you doing in the location in question? What is the purpose of your pagan organization?

Pagan : Whoa! You can't pin nothing on me copper!

Well, excuse me

Excuse me

Don’t use or abuse or refuse me

It’s no joke, I’m broke

My rights I can and will invoke

I’m homely, and I’m lonely

But the state cannot disown me

It’s ain't funny

I might want money

To take home to my honey

Pagans :

This is a city of crime

Don’t step out of line

This is a city of crime

Where an [something indistinct] is hard to find

[the movie end credits version ends here with the sound of a jail cell slammed closed]

Dan Aykroyd :

In case you don't agree

With my methodology

I like to do things my way

Tom Hanks : Don't get memory loss

About who's the boss

Dan Aykroyd : Don't forget my name is

Everyone : Friday!

Dan Aykroyd : I'm the man of the hour

Tom Hanks : The tower of power

Dan Aykroyd : I'm the arm of the law

Tom Hanks : The very last straw

Dan Aykroyd : I'm on the side of the right

Tom Hanks : A Trojan white knight

Dan Aykroyd : If you get me uptight I am

Tom Hanks : A frightening sight

Dan Aykroyd : I'm as strong as the army

Tom Hanks : Nothing can't harm me

Dan Aykroyd : Coming down like a hammer

Everyone : Get ready for the slammer

[sound of a jail cell slammed closed]*"pagan" the video informs stands for People Against Goodness And Normalcy

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Here's the game : describe a movie in a way that is specific enough for most people to recognize it but generally enough that it can also describe another movie. Ideally, the second movie is radically different than the first (ie. referencing sequels is cheating).

example oneDescription : a young man leaves home and goes far, far away to save a community under siege by an old guy and some monsterous creatures trying to take over and along the way gets wise advise from a little green guy.Answer : Star WarsAlternative answer : the Muppets (2011)a young man (Luke Skywalker/Walter) leaves home and goes far, far away to save a (Ewok/Muppet) community under siege by an old guy (The Emperor/Tex Richman) and his lackeys (Stormtroopers/henchmen muppets) and his monsters (bounty hunters/henchmen muppets) trying to take over and along the way gets wise advise from a little green guy (Yoda/Kermit).

example two

Description : Milla Jovovich plays a peculiar woman who doesn't seem to understand the prevailing customs, she shows up to help this guy (and he helps her) and she thinks she is a savior for the cause all among a barrage of violence.

Answer : The Fifth Element

Alternative answer : Messenger the Story of Joan of Arc

Milla Jovovich plays a peculiar woman (Leeloo/Joan of Arc) who doesn't seem to understand the prevailing customs, she shows up to help this guy (Korben Dallas/the Dauphin) (and he helps her) and she thinks she is a savior for the cause all among a barrage of violence (the Mangalores/the Hundred Years' War).

example three

Description : An archaeologist will go any distance to find ancient relics and along the way he climbs in ancient ruins, befriends a small boy, meets a girl and fights an evil villain and his henchmen.

Answer : Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

Alternative answer : Stargate

An archaeologist (Indiana Jones/Dr. Daniel Jackson) will go any distance to find ancient relics and along the way he climbs in ancient ruins, befriends a small boy (Short Round/egyptian kid), meets a girl and fights an evil villain (Thugee high Priest/Ra) and his henchmen (Thugee cultists/animal head guards).

Example of what not to do :
Description : a guy goes away to fulfill a task, faces a challenge where his actions decide the fate of others, and in the process overcomes something.
Answer : it might be easier to count the movies that don't match the description.

About Me

Col. Milquetoast was one of the thousands of monkeys banging on typewriters since the mid-seventies trying to recreate Macbeth. Having become disaffected by the intense pressure involved, his complete lack of talent and his superior's refusal to make use of his prehensile tail he quit to lead a simple but mostly contented life in the midwest. Occasionally he writes in third person when there was no good reason not to write in first person.