Alex surprised Ryan with a photoshoot in California for their 9th year anniversary! Usually Ryan comes up with the anniversary plans but this year, Alex did the honors and did not disappoint...especially because they flew out from Arizona to celebrate without their two little ones (Thanks Mom!)

Kelly and I met Cedric & Brenda at the Refreshing Your Marriage Conference in LA a few months back. They welcomed us into their home and we left with so many nuggets of wisdom from their marriage journey thus far!

Married: 24 years

FAVORITE DATES

Cedric: I am very simple. I like to hang out. Our best date was when we were engaged and had no money. I had enough money to get a plane ticket and stay with Brenda’s brother in the Bay Area. We would just be tourists, take the BART To San Francisco, crash weddings, ask hotel maids to show us one of the rooms, sneak into a gorgeous Catholic Church and lay out at the Regional Park in Berkeley. We would just explore and be tourists!

Brenda: Yeah, we just love to talk and take long drives. One time, in Fresno, we just sat in the car for four hours and talked the whole time.

TURNING POINTS

Brenda: 2013 was especially difficult because our minister died of a heart attack and Cedric stepped up to become the minister. Also, we were getting ready to leave for our anniversary trip when I got a call from my brother that my mother (who has Alzheimers) was lost so we cancelled our trip and went to be with family up north. And in the meantime, life is going on -- kids need to be fed, laundry needs to get done, etc.

Turning points imply that your life is turning but it is important to pivot around your marriage and remember the simple joys of marriage because otherwise you allow the turning points to turn away from one another. You gotta find the time. Cedric doesn’t have a day off. He works all week and is a minister on the weekends. It’s taken years to find our rhythm and we’re still figuring out how to balance.

LOVE + RESPECT

Cedric: Brenda takes care of everything. She is the the CEO of the Payne Corporation. We could not to life without her because she takes care of us. One thing I appreciate is that every once in a while she’ll text me at work: “You’re loved & I appreciate you." It’s so nice to be encouraged when you’re in the grind. Also, I love that she is never inconvenienced by me. She is quick to offer help and always says, "I am available."

Brenda: Cedric always prioritizes me and our family. When he was going into ministry, I was nervous because some of the most dysfunctional families are minister’s families. Many pastor's kids are bitter because their father is meeting the needs of everyone in the congregation except that of the family; or he is living a double life--one way in church and the opposite at home. Cedric has always prioritized me and the kids. He has never not been there when I said I need him. And he always makes sure that we go on vacation every year. Especially now that our son is 18 he won’t wanna go on vacation soon. We went to Albuquerque one year just because!

Cedric: I love vacations for two reasons: One - I just have a need to get a way and Two - it’s a whole week of us spending quality time together. It doesn’t matter where we go. It’s that we are all together.

RESOLVING CONFLICT

Cedric: We have boxing gloves somewhere! We've known each other for the majority of our lives so we have learned to hash it out.

Brenda: I think what helps is trying to realize who the real enemy is. My husband is not the enemy. In a conflict, Cedric’s intention is not bad towards me. It’s tempting to want to protect yourself but if you look at the matter, he does not mean me harm. Knowing that bit of truth helps you diffuse the conflict from going further. Learn to address conflict because when your’e in the heat of things, things can go awry. Make sure to deal with what is really the conflict not the conflict from 6 months ago. We've realized that we are both trying to solve this for OUR Best.

Cedric: Also, we are rarely in conflict at the same time. Sometimes it’s my issue or her issue.

Brenda: And you gotta be like, "Fight with your self and deal with what you’re going through because that has nothing to be with me. You’re having a moment. Go deal with that and come back when you’re done."

Things will work out. you don’t have to blow up over every little thing.

He/She is not my enemy

Cedric: Going to marriage conferences is a big deal too. We go once a year. Life can become a grind where you feel burdened by life and it can be so easy to enjoy marriage. It’s easy to get in conflict when you forget the gift of marriage.

Brenda: Our society does not appreciate the gift of marriage. It’s really easy to forget that this is special and precious and needs to be cherished.

ADVICE FOR NEWLYWEDS

Invest in the marriage, not your wedding. Everyone is so wedding crazy and doing so much for that day. Life will happen soon after the party is over.

Premarital counseling is vital.

Don’t let divorce be an option. It’s not a word that should ever come out of your mouth. It’s not a card that you will eventually pull. If you realize that your marriage is bigger than just you, you will work on it no matter what it takes. It’s a testimony to your community. Everything still revolves around family and marriage. It always comes up. You’re taking this step that is so much larger than you two. Our desires and selfishness can be tabled a bit easier when you realize how big of deal your marriage is.

You’re not an individual in this marriage. Sometimes we can be self-centered about what you’re getting out of your marriage. There must be something wrong with our marriage. This is a covenant. It’s not two single people in a business arrangement. I cannot just view our relationship and wonder what I can get out of it. What are we contributing together so that it is mutually beneficial. It’s not just about me and my needs being fulfilled. What am I doing to nurture Brenda as well?

Our youngest son (15) asked the other day: “How do I find my queen?” and I was like, “Son, you need to talk to your dad about that one!” Their expectation is built on our example. What we live in front of them is what they will portray. We spend our whole adolescence to say “I never wanna be like my parents” and then we turn into our parents. My dad used to always say to my brothers, “If you wanna see what she will be like, look at her mother.” We are influenced by the people we come from. How we live in front our children will be how they live in front of their children. And they will have a few photos of us and have a few adjectives to say about us so we hope that they will say some good adjectives!

We announced on Facebook that Kelly and I will be moving in a few short weeks to become the College and Young Adults Pastors at The Church of Rocky Peak. We are so excited about this new chapter of our lives. Kelly and I have been praying for a full-time ministry position for quite some time now and an opportunity arose for him at his former home church in Chatsworth around where he grew up.

Working full-time at a church means less midweek flexibility so we were stoked when we found out that Kelly booked a DJ job in Kauai before his start date. AND I was able to join him! We extended our trip and experienced our first time in Hawaii together. Kauai is so gorgeous and lush. We are so thankful to have had the opportunity to enjoy paradise as a celebration of his new position!

4/4 Creative Marriage couple from the Great Love Getaway!! I am particularly excited about this one because not only are Gerard & Jessie a repeat CM couple, but they are also the reason why GLG even happened in the first place! The Peppers are our forever friends and we are so thankful to have been a part of such an epic trip. Here are some of my favorite photos from their session.

Midwest is truly the best. Everyone we meet from the midwest is always so cool and down to earth. It's no wonder that Grant & Jennifer would be no exception. They created an incredible product called Sacred Ordinary Days, a journal that walks you through finding the holy in the mundane. Um, yes. All about it! We hope that you enjoy the third out of four Great Love Getaway shoots!!

Straight for Texas, yall! Sandon and Angela are a riot. Kelly and I loved getting to know the Smiths at the Great Love Getaway. Sandon is a real estate agent and Angela runs a great lifestyle blog. They are expecting their first child and we were glad to have been part of their baby-moon!

Remember the Great Love Getaway...that trip that consisted of three other couples that Kelly and I would not know and eventually have to vacation with? Well, Neil & Megan were the first couple we met upon our arrival to Puerto Vallarta and we fell in love. Neil is an engineer and Megan is a yoga instructor/doula-in-training. We clicked right away! They were also the first to volunteer for their Creative Marriage shoot slot and we had such a great time. Enjoy the first of four CM shoots from the Great Love Getaway!!

You might remember the New York popup I did a few months back. Well, I ended up shooting Raven & Nigel's engagement session in Brooklyn, NY. We had a great time exploring the city and shooting in their gorgeous brownstone home.

Kelly and I decided to go to a marriage conference of some sort once a year when we got married. We had no idea that we would be in the "marriage industry" three years later that would take us to marriage conferences and vacations all over the world (okay, we haven't been all over the world but I'm just going to put it out there anyway so it does happen in the near future).

Our dear friends Ben & Nicole were flying out to Utah to attend the Refreshing Your Marriage Conference in Los Angeles so we decided we would meet our "one-a-year" quota. Little did we know that our "LOVE IS..." gallery would be such a perfect fit with the layout that Homeword would produce for the conference. We had the whole display out in the vendor patio and allowed couples to experience vignettes of what "LOVE IS..."

We also had our pals Gerard & Jessie, who now you know of thanks to the Great Love Getaway, come and promote their podcast, Marriage is Funny. We just can't get enough of them!

The Peppers, Robies & Dluxes!

Kelly and I learned so much from Jim Burns and Doug Fields. We are very thankful for their dedication to promoting healthy marriage and families and giving us the tools to better our relationships.

Although we focus on married couples, ever since we developed our "Creative Marriage" style, we've been getting a ton of engaged couples who want to shoot with us! We still shoot engagement shoots the traditional way on the beach, in fields and with natural light but we've loved exploring this new way of shooting couples and decided we would open our CM tribe to engaged couples as well! Jess is also a photographer and specifically requested to shoot the way we photography our married couples. Here are some of our faves from their session!

Kelly and I just arrived from back to back trips in paradise. We'll talk first about the first one in Puerto Vallarta for the Great Love Getaway with our favorite married couple Gerard & Jessie Pepper of popular podcast, Marriage is Funny. It's hard to believe that we have only been "married friends" ("married" because Jessie and I were insta-friends prior to including our spouses into the mix) for less than a year. Jessie and I already knew we liked each other but we did not foresee how much Gerard and Kelly would click. And click, they did. Before we knew it, the Peppers asked if we would be willing to go to Puerto Vallarta for their first Great Love Getaway, which is basically a vacation for married couples. Kelly and I glanced at each other, looked back at the Peppers and gave a synonymous "YES." The Peppers told us to think about it and we told them we didn't have to. One thing they didn't know about us at that point was how "down" we were for anything. When it involves the both of us, Kelly and I are a total "YES" couple. We say "YES" to anything fun or adventurous because we're just stoked we can do it together! We officially announced that we would be joining them on their podcast. You can listen to our guest episode HERE. The rest was history.

The Great Love Getaway was open to five couples, only one of which we knew -- Jessie & Gerard. That means we would be vacationing with four "stranger" couples. We had no idea what to expect but we knew that it would be a good time. We met with the first couple, Neil & Megan at the PV airport and connected immediately. Alright awesome, we can guarantee that three out of the couples are somewhat normal (including us haha). Upon our arrival at the house, we were greeted with the rest of the crew! Jessie & Gerard, of course, Sandon & Angela and Grant & Jennifer. Everyone seemed cool and I am so thankful to let you all know that they were beyond cool...they were AWESOME!!!

Our fearless man leader Gerard...Jessie is probably on the side jumping up and down out of excitement that we all finally arrived.

The house we stayed at was amazing. It had five rooms, a massive pool and overlooked the ocean. Plus we had our own house staff who were so kind to accommodate us overenthusiastic American tourists.

View from our bedroom patio

Not even 10 minutes passed when two massage therapists roll up to give free 10-minute massages. Kelly and I were the first to take them up on their offer.

My favorite part was the in-house staff that provided us with a homecooked meal EVERY day! I know. Sweet Lupita was a magician in the kitchen and I will forever be grateful to her for blessing her with her incredible dishes.

Sweet Lupita plating fresh fish and veggies

Each day consisted of breakfast, coffee chats, mad relaxing by the pool, some fun activity whether we were by the pool, at the beach, downing margaritas, eating the freshest guacamole, rummaging through stores downtown and watching street performers. The sunset at the end of the day didn't suck either.

We attempted to work out each day but that didn't happen (at least on my end). We did practice yoga on the patio the first morning but after late nights of food, margs and too much laughter, we were exhausted!

Dressing the part is half the battle right?

One day was dedicated to shooting Creative Marriage sessions for all the couples which was a complete blast. I can't wait to share with you the photos from all four!

BTS from Neil & Megan's session

Epic sunset walk on our last full day.

Meet the crew!

Beach day!

Thank you to Gerard & Jessie for making this trip possible and to Grant, Jenn, Sandon, Angela, Neil & Megan for bringing the party to life!

We love the Scottis. Coming from a rare combo of photography and ministry, the Scottis and us are cut from similar cloth. Daniel is the tech director at Saddleback Church and Lauren runs a successful photography company in Orange County. We had a great time photographing them in their home and getting a few tips and insights on how they keep their marriage fun and exciting!

ON BEING EACH OTHER'S TEAMMATE:

Daniel: We try our best to be patient with one another and most importantly champion each other on. Lauren: Daniel always calls us a team. It's our business, our finances.Daniel: Yeah, we try to be very intentional with our words. There's not mine or yours. No my money, your money, my car, your car. It's our money, our cars. Little things like that keep our values as a team in tact.

ON IMPROVING YOUR MARRIAGE:

Lauren: We read separate daily devotions. Daniel: Yeah, we love "She Reads Truth" and "He Reads Truth." Lauren: It doesn't necessarily apply directly to our marriage but when we are in the word, we are better parters. Daniel: It's the same content just geared toward toward men and women separately. I think we also do a good job of getting away and doing 'staycations.' Rick Warren says that in order to prevent burnout: Divert daily, withdraw weekly, retreat monthly, getaway quarterly. We were inspired by the Dluxes (that would be us, Kelly & Michelle) to take a weekly sabbath. We make sure we have a day to each other once a week...not to get stuff done but simply enjoy one another.

ON WHAT YOU LIKE ABOUT YOUR SPOUSE:

Daniel: I love Lauren's heart for others. She treats me, her friends and her clients with so much love.Lauren: I love Daniel's kindheartedness. I have never met anyone who doesn't love Daniel and it's because he is such a kind soul. He is also very helpful. He never runs away from a problem. When I get stressed, he stays positive and helps me figure out how to solve the thing that is stressing me out.

ON DATE NIGHT:

Lauren: We basically like to eat food that we can't afford.Daniel: Also, adventures!! Our last staycation was glamping in San Clemente state beach at a trailer park called The Holidays.

ON CELLPHONES:

Daniel: We battle the phone attention issue so we have to be conscious when we use our phones around one another so the other person feels valued.

ON SLEEPING TOGETHER:

Lauren: We've never not gone to bed at the same time. It feels weird if we don't. I can probably count with my fingers how many times we didn't sleep at the same time in our four years of marriage. Daniel: Also, we try to pray together every night.

ON SEPARATE SINKS:

Daniel: Have separate sinksLauren: No, have separate bathrooms...so you don't have to do your makeup while he's pooping.

WELCOME TO THE CM BLOG

We're Kelly and Michelle and we photograph engaged and married couples! We want to encourage healthy marriage through honest conversations and timeless images. We hope you leave encouraged as you peruse through our posts! xo MK