There's a good reason why love, respect and fidelity get top billing in most couples' marriage vows - they're pretty important when it comes to knitting together two people for life. And while your vicar or registrar is unlikely to shine a light on your sex life on the day - that is just as crucial too, says sex therapist Dr Ian Kerner (www.goodinbed.com). 'Communication is the cornerstone of a healthy sex life, so talking through your needs and desires right now will start you off on the right foot. Couples who are able to let each other know what they do or don't like are far more likely to have satisfying sex in the long term.'So, here's how to keep things sizzling hot in the face of those real-life passion killers, like who forgot to take dinner out of the freezer or cancel the car insurance. (Hey, we didn't say it would be easy!)

Work should never come before sex, but of course it often does. 'Your career is important but if you regularly let work take priority over sex, it will leave your partner feeling unloved and unwanted,' says Dr. Kerner. Ban at-home work from a certain hour each evening (and try to make that before midnight) to ensure that there's always a time when you're not distracted by emails or phone calls.

Divulging your family's darkest secrets to your husband is easy compared with being honest about what you'd really like in the bedroom, but it's essential if you're to have a fulfilling sexual relationship. 'Find a way to express what you need or want that works for you,' says sex expert Dr Pam Spurr. 'Describe a sexy dream, either writing it in a text message or email, or saying it face to face - it doesn't matter, as long as you get that information across.' If all else fails, get him to read that paragraph in Fifty Shades you loved - he'll get the message!

3. Repeat after us: 'I love his body, I love his body, I love his body'

Whether your body is muscular and lean because you've been hitting the gym, or you've put on some extra pounds after a holiday, it shouldn't matter. It's up to both of you to be supportive of each other's efforts to look good. 'If your husband has decided to lose weight, you should try to help by building his confidence when he achieves success,' says Dr Spurr. Similarly, he shouldn't complain if you lose some of your curves when you get super fit!

You can't rely entirely on what others think of your looks - you owe it to your husband and yourself to look in the mirror and smile at what you see. 'Learning to focus on the attractive parts of your body is key to confidence,' says Dr Spurr. 'And this makes for great sex because you feel more free to enjoy yourself.'

If you're lucky enough to marry a guy who is willing to try and fulfil your fantasies - however unrealistic they may be - then you need to be his bedroom cheerleader. 'Complimenting the things he does right is more effective than criticism,' says Dr Kerner. 'Positive reinforcement will make you both feel good about your relationship and he's more likely to repeat the techniques he knows you enjoy the most.'

The dog, cat or baby, it doesn't matter - the bed should be a special place shared by you two alone, at least most of the time. 'If a couple gets used to sharing their bed with a pet or child, it can make it difficult or impossible for either one to initiate sex,' says Dr Kerner. 'Try to keep at least one area in the house sacrosanct.' That way there's always one place where you won't get distracted by a chew toy or a rattle!

Over the years, there will be times when one of you doesn't feel like sex - or just plain can't be bothered. Being fully committed to each other means accepting this and being supportive. 'There are many reasons why sexual desire can wane,' says Dr Kerner. 'Stress, fatigue, certain medications, illness - all these can affect your libido. The key is to be understanding and then, when you're both ready, work at getting back into the bedroom.'

Kissing is one of the first things to go when a couple begins to drift apart, so make an effort to do it regularly. 'Facing each other, looking into each other's eyes and kissing can feel more intimate than sex,' says Dr Kerner. 'It's even more important if you're not having sex as regularly as you used to, as it helps maintain physical closeness.'

In the bedroom, in the kitchen and at the dinner table...The most common complaint from men is that women don't initiate sex often enough. Add the element of surprise and you'll make the experience far more memorable for him. 'You don't need to have sex in a lift or on a mountaintop to create a lasting sexual memory,' says Dr Spurr. 'The key is to simply do it when he least expects it.'

Being predictable in the bedroom can quickly lead to boredom, so commit to trying something different every now and again. 'It doesn't need to be crazy stuff,' says Dr Spurr. 'Have sex in the middle of the afternoon instead of at night. Even small changes can make sex seem exciting.'

It's said that the average couple has sex 2.5 times a week but there is no point in comparing your sex life to that of others, says Dr Spurr. 'For some couples, sex twice a month is all they need or want. For others, daily sex is essential.' Everyone is different so quit thinking about what the neighbours are up to and focus on creating your own happy-ever-after glow!