Not sure about this one. I think the first half is a personal account, and HP seems to be trying to avoid these types of article - a shame in many ways. It should be on a blog perhaps? It's long enough that you could rework the general information, leaving out, or cutting down, the personal account.

Delete that comment - it detracts from your content. Make sure you set all your hub comments to be approved, and be picky about the ones you let through.

Put your title and sub-headings into Title Case.

Move the video. Hubs should start with a written intro, not a video.

Edit your photo capsules to show image attribution. Make sure images are legal to use.

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