Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Noises bother me. Not normal, everyday noises. I have a son who plays drums for no less than one hour every day. Headaches notwithstanding, I can handle that. Thunderstorms don't bother me, either. Neither do diesel trucks, lawn mowers, or the sound of Steve Winwood's singing. Just kidding. Steve Winwood does bother me.

No. It's those little, abnormal noises that I find disturbing. The ones that--aside from being annoying--tell me something could be wrong. It's the questionable little bumps, clicks, buzzes, and hums that drive me to the brink of a psychotic rage. And when I lose it, pretty much everyone around me does too. Except for the boys. They think it's funny.

Most of these offensive sounds occur in the car. When slowing down or making right turns, I was noticing a dull thud coming from the back of the car. Is there something wrong with the exhaust system? Did I kick some road trash up into the undercarriage? Nope! It was just Kyle's basketball rolling around in the trunk. No worries--this time.

There are always the annoying little rattles that come from around the dash. Today, I drove myself crazy trying to find the source of a particularly grating, plasticky rattle. I checked the console, glove box, and all the map pockets. No loose items--just a bunch of gas receipts, napkins, and windshield flyers. It turned out that the plastic housing that sits above the windshield had come loose. It will get fixed this weekend.This exact thing happened when one of the boys' friends dropped a Mighty Bean in the roof well of the Mustang. I drove around for months asking myself "what the #&*@ is that?" I knew there was a loose item floating around the car somewhere. I eventually found it, but it took Luke's tiny little arm to reach down there and fish it out. None of this stuff bothers Quinton. This is one of the MANY reasons why I refer to him as Prozac Man. He routinely drops his loose change in the cup holder and drives around, blissfully unaware of the jiggling and rattling. In fact, he used to own a car on which the air vent always shook and shimmied with the movement of the car. It never bothered him, but it annoyed me to the point where I wedged a piece of cardboard into the edge of the vent. Cheesey as it looked, it worked. I might end up doing something similar with that pesky windshield housing.

And I have apparently passed this rampant distaste for mystery noises on to my first child. One night, Kyle complained that he couldn't sleep because "there's a noise downstairs". That "noise" turned out to be the humming motor of Jango's water fountain...that she never uses.