Saturday, June 27, 2015

Today we read together the Common Prayer for June 27 and were awed by words so appropriate to
our present circumstances.

“Above all, trust in the slow work of God. We are quite
naturally impatient in everything to reach the end without delay. We would like
to skip the intermediate stages. We are impatient of being on the way to
something unknown, something new. And yet, it is the law of all progress that
it is made by passing through some stages of instability – and that it may take
a very long time. Above all, trust in the slow work of God, our loving
vine-dresser.”Pierre Teilhard de
Chardin.

Today is a last-day-before-your-life-changes day.
Tomorrow our teenage granddaughter arrives to make her home with us until
whatever time she is ready to launch into the world. She has one year of high
school left. Her life is full of change and unknowns. So is ours.

We are excited and a little nervous. So is she. We have
talked a lot about what this could look like, but do we really know? No. What
we do know is that she wants to be with us. We love her and she loves us even
if I can’t listen to her music that vibrates my ribs and stuns my ears. Yeah. I
used to, but those days are gone along with some of my hearing. Give me a
little Mozart adagio and I’m happy. There are a lot of details to look forward
to. Like Dr. Who episodes and driver’s education and a part-time job and new
paint for her room. My only stipulation was – sorry, not black. It’s too hard
to cover if you want to change it some day.

This isn’t what we imagined for this stage of life. But
isn’t that often how things turn out or don’t turn out? And don’t we wonder if only
we could skip the hard parts and fast forward to the place where outcomes are
certain and wouldn’t that be just be so sweet? We believe there will be sweetness
in ways we don’t know. That in adding to our family – we are doing exactly what
God has in mind for us. And for her. And that his work in our lives is a long,
slow process. At least that’s how it’s been for me.

Friday, June 5, 2015

Today is packing-the-car day. Tomorrow we head to Tennessee
to see our children and grandchildren. More than ever we want to be with them.
There is a story unfolding. Here is a piece of it.

Costco Delivery!

Last December the LaRose family all came down with a stomach
virus and were sick as dogs right around Christmas. Everyone recovered in about
four days. Except for our daughter, Sember, hers hung on for days. A month
passed and she was still unable to get out of bed for a full day at a time.
More weeks passed until finally she went to the doctor to see if they could
find figure out what was going on.

It’s a long story, but she ended up at the Mayo Clinic in
Scottsdale where she was seen by a friend of ours who is pretty much a medical
genius at sleuthing and he diagnosed her with Postural orthostatic tachycardia
syndrome (POTS disease). POTS sometimes occurs after a virus attack or some
other trauma to the body. Here is a link that gives some idea of what life is like for a patient. With one caveat. Young people have a much better chance of
recovery. For older adults there is no cure. Dr. Bergstrom compared the quality
of life as that of a person having congestive heart failure or kidney failure
with dialysis.

The prospect of having another life-long, chronic illness
(along with CFS) has precipitated a time of grieving for everyone, but especially
for Sember. She feels like she’s on the steepest learning curve of her life as
she figures out how to live with her new normal. There are days when she can’t
get out of bed because of overwhelming body pain and wicked exhaustion. (In the
midst of it she somehow maintains a spirit of kindness and humor.) Parenting,
keeping a home, feeding the family and so many other things are now difficult
if not impossible.

Their community and church has rallied around them in wonderful
and unusual ways. One way was figuring out how to help with meals. It is one
thing to deliver a meal or two to someone who has had a baby or has been in the
hospital, but to help someone who has an on-going chronic illness? Finding ways
to help without burning out is definitely a need? A friend devised a solution
by inviting people to contribute to a fund that would hire a person who cooks:

Anne wrote to friends and family: “I have a friend who is a
private chef. She cooked for us for a while when we were uber busy, and she is
amazing! I would shop for proteins, starches, and vegetables, and then in four
hours, she would put it all together and make enough food for several days. She
likes to make healthy food and is very knowledgeable when it comes to cooking
for people with food issues such as gluten or dairy allergies. Better yet, her
food is yummy.”

After figuring what it would cost to hire Cassie for four
hours a week, there was enough money donated to make it happen through the next
three months! (If there is anyone out there who would still like to contribute
– let me know.)

This was such an amazing gift. Who would have thought? I am
deeply moved because if it were possible, we would personally remove this thorn
from their lives. Impossible, of course. So this solution is a great comfort to
everyone who loves them.

All this has meant that parenting five children will be a
big challenge for both Sember and Shaun. Our own lives will be changing along with theirs because we have
invited our 17-year-old granddaughter to live with us and she will be coming at the
end of June. We love her and I think it is safe to say she loves us and is looking forward to life here in Minnesota.

We didn’t know we’d be joining the ranks of grandparents who
have grandchildren living with them. But this could be a very good thing for
all of us. In a way it will mean that we, too, will be finding our new
“normal.” We look forward to seeing what God will do as we step into the
unknown.

If you are the praying sort, we would definitely appreciate
prayer. What this will mean for me, I’m not certain. For some reason, as you
could perhaps tell by my long absence from this blog, I haven’t been able to write
for awhile. But today, I felt compelled to at least put this out there before
we leave tomorrow morning.Thank you for
stopping by.

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Toads Drink Coffee

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Japanese Coffee art: "Kitty chasing fish latte."

Toads, etc.

For many years we lived in Toad Hall, an old American Gothic Foursquare house named for the mansion in Wind in the Willows although ours wasn’t really a mansion, the kids just thought it was. Now we live in a different home – one more suited to aging with dignity – yes, well, we can hope – The House Between. “Between” because we are living that stage of life between now and what is to come. Sound a little macabre? It’s not. We needed move to a space with main floor accessibility for older people who may not always be able to climb stairs to sleep and eliminate. We love this home in a quiet neighborhood with offices overooking the wooded ravine behind where we feed birds and watch coyotes play leap frog. We love knowing, too, that this is not our final place – there is more healing and goodness in the next life. I’ve kept the name of my blog toadsdrinkcoffee because I don’t know how to migrate to a new one. The name is now even more obscure, but it had to do with living in Toad Hall and my addiction to coffee. However, I did migrate my old publication – Notes From Toad Hall– to the new one Letters from the House Between.