Unless she is going to be spending a lot of time at the range becoming proficient with a gun with an external safety she is best served with a gun without one. The safety is just one more thing she can potentially screw up on the way to defending herself and with a gun that has a good safe trigger system like a Glock, Kahr, Walther, etc. it is not nessesary.

Both my girls are highly proficient with many types of handguns and they both choose to carry Karhs. My wife loves the P9 and my daughter loves her K9. They are basically the same gun except the P9 is a polymer gun and the K9 is an all steel gun.

If there is a range in your area that will allow you to rent a Kahr take her there. I can assure you that she will want one after she shoots it. You might too.

My other favorite for a nice carry gun in that configuration is the Walther PPS. That one is MY pocket gun and my girls have tried to requisition it a few times but so far I have held out.

If you don't mind buying used have your wife hold a Beretta 85 or 84. You can find them slightly used for 300+. They are about the same size as a Bersa 380 and very accurate. You just don't want to spend the big money they are asking for a new one.

I've got the Mustang plus II. It is a very nice little, all metal gun. If you like a 1911 platform, this is just a miniturized version. It's a quality little gun. In my mind, the only drawback of this gun is, it's heavier than most pocket guns. In summer, when I am usually in shorts and a tank top, this is my pocket gun. I'm a big guy though.

I really like my Kahr CW-9. Are they starting to make all of their pistols with a manual safety? How heavy is too heavy? A small 9mm 1911 might work. I'm sure there are lots of others, but STI has a really good reputation. Some of them are as low as $899 MSRP, but it sounds like this is the one she would want. I've seen them for sale at about $1000-$1050. It weighs 23 oz.

My wife's gun is a 686p, .357. Kind of big for a purse but she loves the revolver. Lot's of "pretty" revolvers out there. Does your local shooting range have guns to rent at the range? It's hard to know if you will like a gun dry firing it at a store. I've got a "pretty" Taurus PT38s that my wife picked out...she hates it, but I love it. Show her the S & W Lady smith's.