Beware of Flashy Men!

A hot hunk dumps me, and now I know why

“Research by evolutionary biologists at the University of Glasgow suggests females should be wary of initial flashy display which may not have staying power.” – Dr. Jan Lindström, scientist, researcher, Carrie’s new dating hero.

The above quote is going to be important. Trust me. Just let me get through my little dating parable first, and you’ll be down with Dr. Lindstrom, too.

So the boy I’m going to tell you about was perfect. I met him on a long flight to South America, and he was … dreamy. Very tall, luscious dark skin, strikingly handsome, perfectly toned. He had a great job, a great mind and great clothes. (He was also several years younger – and lived several thousand miles from me – but I ignored all those pesky details.)

The boy was, in short, a classic example of “initial flashy display.”

This display intrigued me, so I melted into my first fling with an exotic boy toy. It was fantastic, but I understood I’d have to put my little toy away once vacation ended. I never guessed he’d e-mail me six months later to announce he was coming to New York for a work trip. Or that he’d want to see me again. Or that he really, really enjoyed our time together and wanted to take me out for a romantic night. Yikes!

Since our last meeting, I’d happily carried on with my life, forgetting all about my tropical adventure. Still, there was something about our connection – however brief – that came flooding back at the sight of his e-mail. (Okay, okay, there was also the visceral memory of his buff arms as they hugged me in the streets of Argentina at midnight.)

I couldn’t tame my butterflies the morning he was scheduled to arrive. I was totally dressed, accessorized and perfumed by noon.

Finally, it was 5 p.m., the appointed time for him to call. Nothing. At 6 p.m., I broke my own rule and left him a message. (Maybe his flight had been delayed?) 6 p.m. turned into 7 p.m., then 8 p.m. I finally gave up and washed off my makeup - the classic sign of surrender for single girls the world over.

At 11:30 p.m. (!!!) my phone beeped with a text. He was all breezy casual, “Having drinks at my friend’s place … what R U up to?” I was up to being furious. The thought that kept running through my mind was, “I am too old for this bullshit!”

He was the one who asked me out. He was the one who said he’d call at 5 p.m. He was the one who tricked me with his initial flashy display!

And now he was pretending it was no big deal to text me more than five hours after we were supposed to meet?

Good article, and its true to an extent… but its kind of like saying that beautiful, thin women who wear nice clothes are all golddigging bitches, why else would they look like that?

I totally understand the point of the article, this is a very common attitude of very attractive men (I’m generally attracted to the chubby ones for this very reason) but its insulting to generalize so blatantly…

I think the flashy display has more to do with attitude. Guys who are just a bit cocky and are very assertive when they are flirting tend not to be relationship material – at least in my experience. I’ve tried to avoid guys who display a lot of bravado in the beginning.