Because you tend to suggest things that don't really make the thread sound appealing I'm writing for more than just the AniSoc, can't have the Preview Thread be full of in-jokes or have a sarcastic title or people won't bother reading it. I spend too much time and energy on the things to have people not read them

I never heard of a local soup kitchen. Perhaps he should own a Fish & Chips shop.

As in the soup kitchen i.e. where homeless people go for food...especially publicised at Christmas time when they always show all the soup kitchens on tv? That'd solve all your problems, you wouldn't have to stress the charity bit if you didn't want to...but it would mean our hero could eat, no profit/money would have be involved & would give ojisan some background or character

Actually now that I'm thinking of it, there were a few churches around my Uni that provided free soup and sandwiches to students heading home late at night. My flatmates and I weren't so poverty stricken that we relied on it, but the fellas who lived next door to us were

Our agents among the mortal herd have brought to Our attention your
recent product entitled Windows '95. Therefore We now give you
statutory notice of intent of proceedings to be taken against Microsoft
by the Many-Angled Ones.

With this suit We will show that Windows '95, and to a lesser extent
all of the Microsoft range of products, infringe upon the recognised
"look-and-feel" of the Elder Gods, for the following reasons:

o Windows '95 is a crawling abomination from the darkest pits of Hell;

o No man can be in it's presence for too long without being driven into
gibbering insanity;

o A cult who worship it exist in secret amongst the mortal herd;

o Those who associate with it for too long develop common physical
characteristics, to wit: pale, clammy skin, bulging eyes, generally
unkempt physical appearance, tendency towards nocturnal living, change
in diet to that which normal men do not eat (in your case tacos,
burgers and Jolt Coke; in Ours, human flesh, Fungi of Yuggoth and the
blood of Alien Gods);

o Mysterious tomes that purport to explain this phenomenon are reputed
to exist; they are bound in an unnatural substance and only available
at a terrible cost to the user.

o The Microsoft range of products seek to utterly dominate the world,
and force all who dwell there to live in eternal damnation.

As you can see, Our case is very strong, especially when you consider
that most judges prefer not to have chittering things with tentacles
for faces scoop out their brains and eat them.

We hope that you will consider these points carefully and settle out of
court, since it is not Our intention to have your senior partners spend
the rest of their mercifully short lives under heavy sedation in a
maximum security psychiatric hospital. After all, it was the Lords of
the Outer Planes who gave humanity lawyers in the first place.

(Original post by caraniel)
Actually now that I'm thinking of it, there were a few churches around my Uni that provided free soup and sandwiches to students heading home late at night. My flatmates and I weren't so poverty stricken that we relied on it, but the fellas who lived next door to us were