Watch Colbert skewer Amazon's ridiculous patent: "Amazon now has the legal ownership of displaying a thing"

Last night's "Colbert Report" took shots at the tech giant's obvious and "audacious" patent trolling

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May 15, 2014 6:20PM (UTC)

Stephen Colbert loves the U.S., and why? In part, he explained on last night's show, because folks can patent any old ridiculous idea -- including, Colbert says, three-legged pantyhose and a gerbil shirt.

Even if the idea never makes any money, all hope is not lost. Patent holders can sue people for stealing their idea. "If you have an idea, and you work hard," Colbert says, "someday you too can get sued by someone who had a similar idea."

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Patents are a big deal in the tech giant world, where an innovative idea could make billions (and then billions more when the company sues someone for stealing it: Apple v. Samsung). Last week it was reported that Amazon upped the patent ante.

"And folks, the patent game has just been elevated to an art form by Amazon," Colbert explains. "Who it was recently reported, has been granted the patent for photography against a white background."

"Amazon now has the legal ownership of displaying a thing," Colbert continued. He then read off the jargon used to distinguish and own Amazon's patent. "Now I know, I know that sounds like bullsh*t," Colbert says. "But it's actually male bovine fecal matter extruded on a longitudinal axis."