SXSW 2006

SXSW, South-By, Sex-to-the-S-Dub-- call it what you will, but South by Southwest, that great Austin indie bacchanalia, has just snuck up from behind and flicked your earlobe. Don't freak out: Think of it as one massive elaborate game of Trivial Pursuit. 1,400 bands, 60-odd stages, five days, legions of industry types stumbling around in one massive alcohol-induced haze-- all can be reduced to that little game of useless knowledge and pie-completion, except this time the questions to be answered are bands to be seen, and everyone present wins simultaneously.

It's a game unique to Austin and SXSW, as the sprawl of NYC makes autumn's indie-orgy counterpart, the CMJ Festival, a total crapshoot. Not so here. Barring a couple of exceptions, every venue of note in A-town lies within a few blocks of every other, meaning you show-hop to your heart's content.

For all intents and purposes, you, my Austin-bound friend, are an empty piece of slotted, colored plastic, waiting to be fulfilled by pie-slice experiences of every available color. To that end, we've detailed a sextet of rock realms to hit up while down south. Not labels, not genres-- more like vibes you owe it to yourself to capture. Together, they'll make your SXSW scrapbook into a coffeetable tour de force. The challenge? Score at least one of each:

1. Hot Tip: These could become the stuff of SXSW legend. Bands on the fringe, the cusp, the brink of breakthrough, and hot fuck, you can blog about how you saw them in the Lone Star State before they broke. Note that, as is the nature of all things hyped, many of these acts may not change your life for the better. Some may even blow, unforgivably.

2. Beaten Path: A number of mainstays-- Morrissey, Belle and Sebastian, New Pornographers, Ghostface-- have trekked to the fest this year. Fine artists they are, and well-worth catching in any setting. But many of them tour consistently, so you may do well not to get caught up in block-long lines for too many of them.

3. Blaze a Trail: Here's your chance to, as a certain fab five once squawked, spice up your life. Scope acts that are off-beat, leftfield, utterly un-hype-able, or, good god, not lanky, pasty, white, and male. And sample some non-indie rock: hip-hop, avant, ambient, world, singer/songwriter, even, gasp, country. You are in Texas, after all.

4. Foreign Invasion: No disrespect to America the Beautiful, but hot golly, are other countries ever serving up a bounty of their own talent here. Several of these foreign lands even have incredible things like "Arts Councils" that-- get this-- actually dip into the federal coffers to send their top crop Stateside. Show love to these fine lands and their magnanimous post-industrial democracies. Many of their harbinger-bands are journeying to the U.S. for the first-- and possibly only-- time.

5. Holy Reunions: There are vets, and then there are Vets. SXSW has a way of luring long-absent acts out of early retirements or away from indefinite hiatuses and back into the throes of harmonious musicmaking for one-offs and last-hurrahs. 2006 boasts of a number of these "one night only" events.

6. Take a Chance: Why enter every showcase with preconceived notions of what to expect? Live (and rock) dangerously, friends. Here's the catch-all category for anything untested but of interest nonetheless-- be it due to a solid song sample on the SXSW website, intriguing press photos, or hell, just a damned amusing name. It's also where you'll find once passed-off acts, even stuff Pfork has slammed in the past. Can't guarantee anything, but one of these just might just win your SXSW heart.

So there are only four nights of serious rocking and six metaphorical pie pieces to acquire. You know what this means: double duty. Of course, that's easily done, what with the deluge of day parties and BBQs popping up across Austin all week. Every label/booking agency/magazine/PR firm/blog-of-worth hosts one, and frankly, there are enough to warrant a dozen more such write-ups. Nevertheless, allow me to tip you off to but one extra-special event: Your pals at Pitchfork will be teaming up with the Windish Agency on Friday from noon to 6:00 p.m. at Emo's Annex to bring you one unholy cavalcade of hot rock action! Gander now at this here lineup, although take care not to gawk: Art Brut, Love Is All, Hot Chip, the Juan Maclean, Spank Rock, José González, and Death Vessel, with DJ sets from Ladytron, Matthew Dear/Audion, and Rjd2! What's more, this afternoon soiree is abso-tively free. So blog it up, kiddies. Just make sure you line up early.

But okay, we can tell you're anxious to play-- you've been fidgeting with the die like a hyperactive preschooler. So let's get this game business on the road!

Roll 1: WEDNESDAY

Our mighty fest kicks off with one proud meow. Plenty of huge showcases go down on this, the very first night. Contain yourselves, friends! Your options are as follows...

1. Hot Tip: Emo's Annex plays host to a number of recent luminaries, as the Fanatic Promotion showcase features psych-folk combo Wooden Wand. Also playing: not-too-Christian folkie Page France, Asthmatic Kitty's Castanets, and rockers The Black Angels-- a solid bet for those bent on staying in one place on Night One. Itchy feet? England's angular-post-punk bandwagoneers The Rakes rock Flamingo Cantina, a full month before their debut drops stateside. Austin's own jangle-pop troupe Voxtrot celebrate the forthcoming release of their second EP with a set at Emo's Main Room alongside Norway nu-gazers Serena Maneesh (who'd rather spear boar with their guitars than stare at their Cons) and Memphis Industries' Field Music. Down the street, much-hyped combos The Grates (think Karen O with twang), Young Knives (think Futureheads with, um, knives or something), and Envelopes (think Bearsuit on Ritalin or the Concretes on a sugar-high) set the stage for The Ponys and Art Brut at The Parish.

And finally, once upon a time, back when the Arcade Fire was but a spark and Wolf Parade mere cubs, a little Canadian band called Frog Eyes served up manic, twisted, fractured guitar muzik. 2006 could be the year this Frog turns prince, and Habana Calle 6 Patio could be the palace.

2. Beaten Path: Texans ...And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead bring their notoriously chaotic live set to Emo's, going knuckle-to-knuckle with fellow Lone Star-gazers Secret Machines, whose spacious prog-rock graces La Zona Rosa at the same time. Scots Mogwai and Belle & Sebastian headline the Matador showcase at Stubb's, along with The New Pornographers, making for a sure-bet and a hella-long queue. Also rumored to play: Built to Spill (location TBA) and The Flaming Lips (at Fox and Hound).

3. Blaze a Trail: Karma Lounge has assembled an impressive platter of homespun avant-folkies for your aural delight: eclectic Peter and the Wolf, Xiu Xiu-favs The Weird Weeds, and bleak songstress Jasmine Star (whose press photos seriously rule) lead the charge. Or cap your night off with Houston mega-MC Chamillionaire at the Back Room.

4. Foreign Invasion: Australia's alpha retro-rockers Wolfmother and electro-poppers The Presets team with Scandinavian hotties Annie and José González to bring down the house at Eternal. Meanwhile, Sweden's bombastically gay and criminally infectious glam-band answer to the Darkness, The Ark, rehearse for inevitable world domination at Dirty Dog Bar.

5. Holy Reunions: Not much happening here, but new wavers The Plimsouls will make a very rare appearance opening for The Go! Team at Exodus. And though he never really left us, why not check out Kris Kristofferson at Austin Music Hall?

6. Take a Chance:Andy Dick--yes, that Andy Dick-- has a band playing at Molotov Lounge at midnight. His sample mp3 is annoying as fuck, but hey, maybe the between-song banter will be funny. London's Rumble Strips rock Blender Balcony at the Ritz at midnight-- come see if their stage show lives up to their excellent MySpace offerings. Finally, Toronto's The Birthday Massacre try their darndest to be terribly un-hip-- costumes, hokey lyrics, goth posturing-- but they craft an irresistible marriage of Cyndi Lauper-esque new wave and crunchy pop-industrial soundscapes. This band could be everywhere soon.

Roll 2: THURSDAY

1. Hot Tip: Having risen from the ashes of the Unicorns, Islands are poised to turn heads this year with their brand of manic, uber-catchy pop. They headline Emo's IV. England's excellent Guillemots will bring that exalted, billowy guitar-pop all the indie kids go for to Eternal. Same place, hours later: Ex-Libertine Carl Barat's merry troupe Dirty Pretty Things seek to jumpstart the next British Invasion. Elsewhere, Devendra's beloved radiant folkers Lavender Diamond share a soulful sermon with the congregation at Habana Calle 6. Brooklynites Parts & Labor and n0 things join Philly's circus-mongers Man Man for one sweaty night of avant-rock bliss at Velvet Spade. And finally, Denmark's Figurines serve up infectious guitar-pop ditties by the dozen-- they could be huge.

2. Beaten Path: Moz. Moz. Moz. Yep, this is the night of the living Morrissey-- pitch your tents outside Austin Music Hall now, kiddies. Maybe you'll catch slinky Alison Goldfrapp or scruffy ex-Longpig Richard Hawley as they saunter in to soundcheck. Meanwhile, Dresden Dolls and Fiery Furnaces heat up Stubb's, but so do, um, Nickel Creek?!! Another inexplicable-- and inevitably crowded-- helping of goulash: Echo & the Bunnymen with Spoon, Blackalicious, and Mr. Lif, at Audition Shores' Town Lake Stage. Finally, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah at Eternal-- even if you've not yet seen them (and why not?), you want to hold out for a proper headlining tour.

3. Blaze a Trail: Get hip to the hop as rhyme-slayers Jean Grae and Devin the Dude invade Back Room. Also playing: rap's hysterically demented superhero and dirty uncle Blowfly, who must be seen to be believed. More MC madness: Busdriver and Big Jus (ex-Company Flow) rock the mic at Zero Degrees. If you prefer your hip-hop instrumental, Daedelus rocks the, uh, laptop and Eliot Lipp plays at Elysium.

Those who'd rather sit and chin-stroke should score a pew at Central Presbyterian Church, where several towering figures of experimental rock will proselytize: guitar-commander Rhys Chatham, composer Arnold Dreyblatt, ex-Swans super-drummer Jonathan Kane, drone-violinist Tony Conrad, electric-harpist Zeena Parkins, and improv trio San Agustin. Or duck into The Hideout for Locust Music's offerings, including Sun City Girl Sir Richard Bishop and Australian ambient-rock ensemble Function.

4. Foreign Invasion: Caribbean Lights will host quite the international showcase, with Iran's 127, Russia's Auktyon, and Cambodia-by-way-of-L.A.'s Dengue Fever. Or scope "Nordic Night" at The Drink, featuring flashy Scandinavian acts Sign and Disco Ensemble, along with fine popstress Astrid Swan-- the latter two proving that not everybody in Finland makes creeped-out folk music. Also, a smattering of Europe's finest put out at Spiro's and Spiro's Patio, including Belgian mainstay dEUS.

5. Holy Reunions: Power-electronics vets Whitehouse play a rare gig at Room 710 with doom-gazers Nadja, where they'll burn minds, cuss up a monsoon, and, quite possibly, get half-naked like they did at last fall's Two Million Tongues Fest. Local heroes Pong have returned to vie once more for Austin's post-punk crown at Molotov Lounge. They'll be joined by Canada's flamboyantly fun Hidden Cameras.

6. Take a Chance: Though dismissed as PJ Harvey and Pat Benatar apers, respectively, both Carina Round (at Dirty Dog Bar) and The Organ (Nuno's Upstairs) are compelling and passionate enough as performers to finally break big this year. Seattle's Smoosh practically scream easy press, being a pair of indie-rockin' adolescent sisters-- even if they suck abysmally at Parish II, still something to write home about! Jesca Hoop has wooed Tom Waits and could well win you over too with her engaging Kate Bush-gone-folkie stylings.

Roll 3: FRIDAY

1. Hot Tip: In a blog-less, MySpace-free world, Arctic Monkeys would have been thee success story of SXSW 2006-- now, let's face it, you're not getting in. Instead, check out Seattle's Band of Horses, who descended from morose chamber-mopers Carissa's Weird and will showcase their desert anthems at Red Eyed Fly, alongside fetching indie-poppers The Brunettes. England's very-fine Brakes, decidedly definite-article-less, rock the Ritz's Blender Bar. Hey look, it's that Tapes 'n Tapes band we keep playing up! Find out what all the fuss is about at Latitude 30. Also of intrigue is regular castrato Death Vessel, who'll bring his high-pitched warble to Caribbean Lights. And lookee here, it's a pairing of Best New Music awardees: Sweden's rollicking Love Is All and England's super-twee The Boy Least Likely To will attempt to help Elysium live up to its namesake.

2. Beaten Path: New Pornographer and alt. country heartbreaker Neko Case brings her Fox confessions to Antone's for what will most certainly be a packed performance. J Mascis, trades his Dinosaur Jr. costume for a pointy hat, broom, and drumsticks with Witch-- come witness the stoner-rock he and his dudes brew up at Dirty Dog Bar, which also hosts a solo turn from former indie pop Belle Isobel Campbell. Another guaranteed sell out, Animal Collective share their offbeat, folky weirdness with y'all at Fox and Hound, appropriately. And last but by no means least, rude-boy Ted Leo (who is, in fact, just about the nicest guy ever), warms up for his sure-to-be-epochal summer Pitchfork Festival appearance by shaking the sheeit out of those sheets at Red 7. He'll be joined by preternaturally-poppy NY crew Tralala and Maura Davis' (ex-Denali) new combo Ambulette.

3. Blaze a Trail: Dap-dippin' sure sounds like drug parlance, but it's also something you can do to the tune of soul-siblings Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings at Antone's, pre-Neko. Detroit techno star Matthew Dear performs as Audion at Karma Lounge. England's Sharron Kraus likes her coffee black and her folk bleak as fuck. Catch her with collaborator Christian Kiefer at The Hideout, and stick around for golden apple Jack Rose. Fellow-folkie Marisa Nadler enchants Emo's IV, as part of an eclectic bill that includes experimentalists Cul de Sac, Circle (from Finland), and OM (featuring members of Sleep). Finally, Rhymesayers consolidates its position as one of the leading lights of indie hip-hop by showing off a roster that boasts Atmosphere, Brother Ali, Soul Position, and P.O.S..

4. Foreign Invasion: Japan owns Friday night: Tokyo's spazzy Polysics storm Zero Degrees, while L.A.-dwelling Japanese expatriate Caroline glides into Whisky Bar to share her subtle, delicate-pop concoctions. Y'all might just need some delicacy after witnessing duo Afrirampo unleash their bewildering avant-psych attack on Flamingo Cantina, followed by veteran psych-rockers DMBQ. Or make it a hat trick by catching eX-Girl later that night at Jackalope. Over-stimulated? Stop by Capitol Place's Creekside EMC for an evening of more traditional Japanese music.

Other sovereign lands ain't slackin', mind you: the Emerald Isle has assembled a fine cast of its music-world gems to rock Soho Lounge, including singer-songwriter Gemma Hayes and peppy-poppers The Chalets. And The Drink strikes again with another Nordic Night, this one featuring tracksuit-adorned Quit Your Dayjob, corset-adorned Animal Alpha, and Sufjan-adorned Sarah Hepburn.

5. Holy Reunions: Could be a highlight: Oft-overlooked early-'90s Brit band Th' Faith Healers have reassembled to play a very select number of gigs, an SXSW stop at the Ritz's Blender Balcony graciously being one of them. Not-so-overlooked new-wavers The Motels, heroes of 1980s-comp infomercials far and wide, must be getting lonely: they'll play Elysium alongside the aforementioned hot tips. And catch soul queen Bettye LaVette at La Zona Rosa, provided that venue isn't already swamped by rabid Arctic Monkeys fans. Finally, inspiration to Cash, Dylan, and Donovan, country-folk legend Ramblin' Jack Elliott makes a very special appearance at Tambaleo, joined by Jana Hunter, among others.

6. Take a Chance: Picking up the pieces after drummer Michael Dahlquist was tragically killed last summer, the remaining members of Silkworm have regrouped to form Bottomless Pit. Still tight as shit, they'll rock Club de Ville. Brooklyn's Au Revoir Simone wax delicate and ethereal on their keyboard-laden debut, Verses of Comfort, Assurance and Salvation. Comfy and assuring, sure, but swing by Latitude 30 to see about this salvation business. Also repping the NY, gaze-y five-piece Soft bliss-out at Spiro's Patio-- will they veer off in the promising direction of Swervedriver, or get keen on Keane, plunging forever into MOR oblivion? The drama! Also groovy: The Spinto Band play should-have-been-a-hit "Oh Mandy" and newer tracks at Friends. Finally, Village Voice-approved pedal-steel-mongers The Last Town Chorus play The Velvet Spade and might just turn that steel into the new cowbell.

Roll 4: SATURDAY

1. Hot Tip: Their star on the rise for years now, this could be the moment hometown heroes Okkervil River strike oil. A consistent font of volatile, emotionally wrenching performances, they'll play alongside classic-rockers Magnolia Electric Co., new wavers I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness, and kook-folkers Pink Mountaintops, at Secretly Canadian's Emo's Annex showcase. Canada's thrilling Holy Fuck keep it poppin' at Momo's, while the inspiration for this here category's name, Britain's Hot Chip, get funky at The Parish, opening for party-starter The Juan Maclean.

2. Beaten Path: Guided by Voices frontman Robert Pollard plays his first SXSW since dissolving that much-loved band. Joining him at Antone's for the Merge showcase are Glasgow's Camera Obscura and the mighty Superchunk, but...not the Arcade Fire. The unstoppable Ghostface, a Killah once more, drops relentless rhymes over the rowdy crowds at La Zona Rosa. He'll be joined by grime princess Lady Sovereign and scuzzy power-rockers Towers of London. DJ Muggs, of Cypress Hill fame, and freestyler extraordinaire Supernatural heat things up at Flamingo Cantina. Or cool off for a spell as a parade of fine songwriter-types march through Eternal, including Lisa Germano, José González, and Richard Hawley.

3. Blaze a Trail: Houston rap rules the night at Back Room, including Screwed Up Click Group Show, ESG (not that ESG, sadly), and Paul Wall pal Big Pokey, among others. Ace London MC Sway closes out a hip-hop showcase at Caribbean Lights that includes TTC and Cadence Weapon. And after a week awash in hype and spectacle, Carolyn Berk's heartfelt bedroom-pop project Lovers might be just the palette-cleanser your soul so desperately needs. She'll perform at Hideout as part of the Orange Twin label showcase.

5. Holy Reunions: Delightful New Zealand indie-poppers The Bats reemerged last year with At the National Grid-- their first proper album in 10 years. Catch these kiwi-rock vets alongside Magic Marker cuddlecore titans Tullycraft and winged labelmates The Owls at Habana Calle 6. Continental Club plays host to rock-a-billy super-veteran Wanda Jackson, sometime cohort of Elvis, and a Karen O for the 50s kid in all of us. Finally, The Pretenders and Lyle Lovett play Stubb's-- eh, why not? You'll be indie'd-out by then anyhow.