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Thursday, December 13, 2012

Global Warming and Bulkiness

How global warming is affecting the penguins in Antarctica or polar bears in the Arctic is of no concern in this particular post. Their mothers will have to figure how to dress their little ones on their own.This post is about mothers right here in the US and how global warming is making us crazy and our children crazier. Four examples in three days equals certain proof of my scientific hypothesis.We have had an exceptionally pleasant fall. Temperatures have been mild, often warm. Shorts are still normal weekend wear. I still have the one tomato plant with tomatoes on it. Well at least I did as of Sunday. I haven't been out to check on it after the last three mornings of <32 degree temps. We are definitely short on rain; again. But overall, very nice weather. J and I went to look at 2 million Christmas lights on Saturday with his friend J and his mom, Ms. C.

You can't tell from this picture, but J is wearing shorts, and poor J would be completely drenched with sweat by the time the evening adventures were over because of his long sleeves and jeans. Sunday night a cold front blew in and it was down in the low 40s when we woke up with a stiff north wind and promises of all day 40 degree temps. Naturally a 40 degree temperature drop feels significantly colder. This is where crazy begins.Example 1: Monday morning I insist that J take his heavy coat. It's nice. It's new. It's exactly the one he wanted. He loved it while visiting WA.

See he is smiling and it is 40 degrees. Suddenly, come Monday the jacket is something he wants nothing to do with. I insist and he begrudgingly brings the jacket along and the tone is set on the drive to school. By the time we get to school I think things are resolved until he puts the jacket into the trunk of the car and is planning to go into school without it. Are you kidding? Nope. Turns out he thinks it is too bulky.... You want to see bulky? Ask this cute little baby about bulky.

You don't hear or see him complaining do ya? Of course not, because he is WARM! His momma is smart. She KNOWS what to do to keep the boy warm.
...Too bulky? I lost it. Right there in the parking lot. I'm sure I was a sight with the 30 mph wind blowing my hair like crazy, slamming the trunk lid, slamming the car door. Ms. C says that moms lose it with their kids in the parking lot all the time, but I get to school too early to witness it myself. It wasn't pretty, but it happened. He took the jacket. I have no idea if he actually wore it.

Example 2: Turns out this is not just a TX thing. In the NE jackets that were perfectly good in the store get exposed to the warm air up there and also puff up to the point that a normal 14 year old girl also refuses to wear her jacket because... Yep. You guessed it, "it's too bulky." Mom and daughter still have not reached resolution as of this post. Example 3: I get a series of texts, from L in SoHo, that Tuesday morning her youngest begins complaining that his jacket plus backpack is just 'too bulky'. L realizing where this is going is able to find the humor in what I just went through and was able to diffuse the situation and keep a meltdown from happening; crisis averted.Example 4: Misery apparently loves company because Ms. C went out Monday night and bought J a new fuzzy jacket. Of course by now you think you know just where this is headed. He loved it in the store, promised to take good care of it, yada yada yada. Well apparently if you want to keep a jacket from getting too bulky the thing to do is to roll it around in the playground mulch, fill it with dirt from the playground and then act all surprised when your mother freaks out about how you nearly destroyed this brand new jacket. Remember it was fuzzy so all of those little pieces of mulch have stuck to the every square inch of said jacket. Tia A has been working on getting it de-mulched. In the meantime, J is back to his old thin jacket.

The good news is that J's fuzzy jacket has not bulked up... yet. See the kids have gone crazy and it's making the mothers go even crazier. I think I'll go replace that last incandescent bulb with a CFL and see if I can turn this crazy train around.