Well. Every once in a while you find some words, a quote in this case, which makes you stop and think and it reaches into your business mind and personal mind. This was one of those quotes for me.

I am an introvert at my core. I think that makes the thought of a “world’s whisper” resonate with me because, well, this may sound obvious, but the world, the people in it and the thoughts that pervade the ether of each day are fascinating.

Fascinating to me and I actually believe fascinating to a lot of people. I think we all feel that way <albeit we get scared of the exact same things on occasion> but I think introverts just listen a little more closely to the whispers..

Regardless. While it may seem everything in the world is shouting at the top of their lungs, the good stuff whispers.

I know I am addicted to the whispers.

I know I am addicted to listening for them.

And I don’t understand why more people don’t have this addiction.

And I really don’t understand it now that we have the internet.

What do I mean? In the good old days, to hear the whispers, you needed to be physically engaged. You had to travel, sit & watch, immerse yourself in what is happening. If you were even slightly introverted, it could kind of suck. At minimum, a little uncomfortable.

In the good ole ‘new’ days you can lurk <if you are introverted> and be actively involved <if you are not>. Yeah. Lurking online sounds creepy, but if it is done with the intent to listen to the whispers of the world I find it difficult to find fault in the behavior.

While people will argue with me, I would suggest that it is just as difficult to hear the whispers online as it is to hear them in the physical world. I say that because regardless of the environment you are sifting through the noise and untangling that which is unimportant and tugging at the threads of what is important.

Personally I don’t really give a shit on the environment, online/offline/noisy/silent, all I care about is leaning in closely to hear the good stuff — the whispers.

All that said. Some of you may have no clue what the fuck I am taking about.

That’s okay.

You just haven’t heard the whispers yet. If you had, you would never stop listening for them.

It s the good stuff. Its the kind of stuff worth listening to (and listening for>. I could suggest it is within the whispers that you will find what truly matters, but I am not sure I can <I don’t have empirical support/research> so all I can say is that it is the good stuff.

It is the extraordinary thread woven amongst the beautiful blanket of the everyday ordinary.

====

“The idea of the extraordinary happening in the context of the ordinary is what’s fascinating to me.“

Chris Van Allsburg=====

And for those who haven’t heard the whispers?

It is worth trying.

You just have to listen closely. Sometimes you just have to lean into Life a little and listen just a little closer. The whispers are there and I can promise you, they are worth hearing.

<originally posted July 2017 & reposted as I ponder lessons from the Mueller Report>

==============

“Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.”

—

Steve Maraboli

=============

“You will find out who you are not a thousand times, before you ever discover who you are.”

—–

William Chapman

=============

…. Trump attitude toward “playing the game of Life ” …..

Yeah. I have to comment on Donald Jr agreeing to meet with someone who clearly stated they were part of a Russian initiative to support Trump and may have information <illegally gained or legally gained?> to sink Hillary Clinton.

I have to comment because this, to me, in a nutshell captures the essence of what Trump represents and what we in America need to think about as part of a soul searching exercise.

From my standpoint it boils down to one question of what is more important to Americans — a) being legally correct <or just okay> or <b> being morally okay.

Trump ran a ‘win at any cost/no rules’ campaign <which is exactly how he runs his business> and … well … we Americans need to decide whether this represents who and what we are. I say that because it seems like we continuously miss the bigger issue as we turn ourselves into pretzels either trying to prove some criminal guilt or, conversely, prove criminal innocence.

While that is important from a legal standpoint America has never stood for “playing within the fringes of the rules” <let alone ‘no rules’>.

Sure. Some do, but 90+% of Americans abhor people who win by some technicality or skate by on some cringe worthy fringe legal basis.

I would suggest people think about this Trump Jr. meeting in one of these ways:

Someone steals a test and offers it to your high school child <and I believe West Point has a clear point of view on this>

Someone steals private photos off someone’s phone and posts them online <or offers to sell them to you exclusively>

Someone steals the other high school team’s game plan and offers it to you before the game <and you tell your players how you got it?>

Or how about this one for adults …

Someone steals a patented process from some company and they offer to give it to you so they lose their exclusivity <and you can compete directly> — note: this is against the law

Let me be clear.

Sure. It happens in the business world. We do some crappy shit on occasion. Mostly we do it behind closed doors and don’t tell anyone because we know it is either legally suspect and absolutely morally an embarrassment.

We certainly do not go home and sit our children down at the dinner table and say “this is the right way to do it.”

My point is that “winning” is not just about that moment in time, that game and that competition. It has ripples in which our youth watches, learns and decides how they want to play the game for the rest of their Life.

It is absurd to believe “I won” justifies all behavior. Most Americans know this in their hearts if not their souls.

I personally think the Trump clan is free of any morals and just think in terms of power and in terms of making deals for their own financial benefit, not to serve the country’s strategic interests, and the win is all that matters <at any cost and in any way>.

I do not loathe Trump or anyone who cruises on the Trump ship of fools, but I loathe the absence of integrity, dignity and, in general, their inability <or, incapability> to win by playing by the rules.

I do not loathe Trump or anyone who cruises on the Trump ship of fools, but I loathe the fact they believe their hollow way of conducting themselves will make America great again <and all it will do is make it hollow>.

That said.

I have debated what makes America exceptional, or great, with dozens and dozens of people. Most find it either odd, or interesting, in that while I acknowledge morality and freedoms and democracy I tend to focus more on a pragmatic aspect – how you play the game of Life & business in America.Or maybe I could call it “freedom to win” because in America we foster a belief that how you win matters, therefore, anyone can win.

The corollary to that thought is when something becomes “rigged” that translates into “some people are not playing the game the American way” therefore we get angry. I argue it this way because … well … it is a simplistic idea, easy to grasp, for an everyday schmuck like me and I tend to believe most of us every day schmucks don’t want to be too philosophical or intellectual.

By the way. My belief in this American identity isn’t something I just pulled out of my ass.

The most pragmatic truth about America and its identity is that America’s founding fathers wanted to do shit <Just Do It>. And they realized that if the country offered everyone the opportunity to do shit, and as much doing as they could, the country itself would prosper … and everyone would prosper in their “pursuit of happiness” <which is inevitably grounded in some vision of doing some shit>.

In order to create this equal opportunity to ‘do’ within the “we the people” they established the American way to play the game. In this game we could choose captains and coaches if we wanted, but the foundation was that on day one anyone could become a captain or coach if they wanted or they could just pursue happiness of doing shit however they wanted <within legal & moral boundaries>.

Rigid constitutionalists will most likely hate what I am going to say next but, to me, the Constitution and the Bill of Rights were developed as kind of our league’s rules of the game & engagement. Not to be taken literally but to establish a foundation from which all the players and teams could compete fairly.

I would note here that whether you like the way I am saying this or not … if I were a betting man I would put a lot of money on the belief the everyday schmuck would be more likely to ‘get’ this than all the politicians blathering about rights & privileges & constitutionally legal intellectual mumbo jumbo.

To be clear. Trump doesn’t believe this nor do I believe he would even understand half this shit I just typed, but he would instinctually abhor the idea as he is the ultimate spokesperson for “win at any cost.”

I believe there needs to be a counterbalance to the Trump “just win” megaphone and there needs to be a voice of clarity for “how you win matters is not just a theoretical discussion but it is actually a pragmatic discussion of what is at the core of who and what America is” not as anti-Trump, but to pose the challenge to America.

We need to frame the narrative as a discussion which becomes the foundation in every home, business, government and playing field – the American identity. But, in my eyes, we shouldn’t do this discussion just under moral imperatives or “what is right thing to do”, but do it in the cultural identity of America which is “doing.” To me it is the intellectual spin of Trump’s dumbed down version of the discussion. Trump talks wins but we should be talking about how we win because it gets to the idea of who and what America is and not simply results and ‘doing outcomes.’

What Trump doesn’t understand is that America is an idea and not a bunch of transactions. He believes if he can create enough ‘positive transactions’ that people will view him as a success, and America as a success, because the balance sheet will say “success.” This treats America like a commodity with no ‘value’ <which, by the way, is not an expression of exceptionalism just ‘exceptional doers’>.

America is not a bunch of transactions and jobs, America is an idea. And, to me, that idea is “winning the right way.”

The American identity has always been about doing shit the right way and winning the right way.

That is our sweet spot and it defines how we think we are exceptional <at least to the nonintellectual everyday schmucks like me>.

We are forgiving, slightly, to those who win on some technicality or ‘technically legal’ thing, but, even then, we debate whether it was winning by being smarter … or by ‘cheating’ in some way.

Regardless … this debate inevitably ends with a general feeling that the win “just wasn’t completely right’ <or … “it wasn’t a good win”>.

You can get away with this on occasion.

Someone who always wins on technicalities or does shit always just within what could be construed as legal is always a “shady winner” or someone “gaming the system.” We don’t like these people.

And then, of course, there are others who play by non – American rules. They win on occasion, but it is only because they couldn’t win by playing by our rules and within our behavioral boundaries.

That is who and what we are and Trump is challenging that.

I believe we would all benefit from this debate.

No.

I KNOW we would all benefit from this debate.

Everyone.

I admit. I am banking on the fact Trump loses in this debate and Republicans and Democrats will win by having the debate <and therefore America wins>.

To be clear. This is not about moral superiority but rather digs deep into the ‘code of who and what America is.’ We are the “just do it” country <I encourage everyone to pick up Clotairre Rapaille’s “The Culture Code”, avoid the wacky aspects and hunker down on the insightful parts>. We are impatient, we like to do and we are perpetually dissatisfied. And, yet, all that said any exceptionalism we may have resides in HOW we do shit. In our heart of hearts we know that anyone can ‘do’, but Americans ‘do it the right way’ therefore our outcomes, our work and our ‘wins’ are better and more exceptional because we do them the right way.

That said. We forget this, just as any sports team who hasn’t won a frickin game in forever, when some asshat comes along and says we are losers and we need to do whatever it takes to win.

But ‘just win’ goes counter to what any high school football coach teaches his team, what any parent teaches their kid, what every general instills in their soldiers, what every good business leader cultivates within their organization … we recognize that in the end wins are hollow if we haven’t played the game right, it was fair and we didn’t cheat <or lower ourselves to the way cheaters and assholes play>. We play tough, we will always be competitive and we will ‘do’ and win ON OUR TERMS.

Trump encourages us to let others define America’s terms.

What an asshat.

America’s wins should be better than everyone else’s wins because we are the shining light on the hill for an impatient, doing, perpetually dissatisfied way of winning the right way.

That said <to look thru a political lens>, to me, “How you play the game, and win, matters” <or, “winning at any cost is not American”> is an effective framing of American identity which puts Republicans at a disadvantage because they will get trapped between what they want to say <and what I imagine many of them truly believe> and Trump. I also think it provides Democrats an easy way to reframe what Trump wants to do but because he is too stupid they can frame it in a way that appeals to tangible outcomes, results, programs & policies rather than simple platitudes.

For example.

Trump is too stupid to realize that he could talk about healthcare in economic terms instead of getting into that wretched ‘is healthcare a right or a privilege’ discussion. America is an economic engine. And as any business owner will tell you the more days healthy happy employees are at work the more productive they are <and the more productive the company is>. Business owners would kill to limit absenteeism and increase productivity when an employee is at work.

The day I can get all 180 employees, or 18, at work, 100% healthy, is the day my business is most productive.

That is what healthcare does. Extrapolate that out to America itself. The day I can get 180 million working people at work, 100% healthy, is the day that America is at its most productive. While healthcare is certainly a moral issue it is also an economic productivity issue. If everyone in America is healthy, than our economy is healthy. Frame the discussion this way and it gets us stop talking about ‘mean’ and ‘cruel’ and start talking benefits. This is an excellent example of insuring that everyone in America has a chance to win by playing the game the right way <and insuring someone doesn’t win simply because of a technicality>.

Beyond that one example, how you play the game matters extends into education, opportunity in general, how government conducts itself, the military, well, someone smarter than I can bring the idea to Life in any tactical & policy discussion you want.

This idea also plays into an overall theme of “u pluribus unim”. If we all have opportunities, maximize our potential by playing the game right when given an opportunity and working hard, the many ‘ones’ doing it the right way means “the one” <America> is great <or exceptional>. Therefore “Great” is defined not by some nebulous Trumpism but rather by something anyone and everyone can do, talk about and judge others by <and Trump will inevitably judged harshly on this standard>.

Uhm.

This is not anti Trump but rather “look, we are talking about a lot of transactions and tactics and jobs and policies and programs not a lot about how we should go about doing it so that everyone has a chance of winning.”

This is not an anti-Trump position. This is a “decide who you want to be America and judge your leaders based on who you want to be” message. We need this discussion and debate. I worry that the soul of America is under attack and I am banking on the fact what is right can beat what is wrong as long as they both enter the playing field – someone just needs to bring them both there.

Yeah.

I think this discussion would create dinner table, hallway and classroom discussion for months to come. And I think this is the kind of discussion with moms, dads, teachers, coaches, programmers, blue collar workers, students, etc.

Anyway.

Trump Jr behavior, which I think is indicative of Trump Sr behavior, reminded me once again that HOW we do shit matters. This is about norms, and normal behavior, versus simple legality.

We set out explicit rules and guidelines and sometimes these appear as laws.

They are meant to showcase a red line for behavior.

And, boy oh boy … we sure do bitch about how many laws we have and how many regulations are in place and how many rules we face that curb our success. The government is most likely the main villain in this story.

Sadly, most of us act like government sits around coming up with rules and laws and regulations simply to stifle freedom in our lives – personal and business.

It may behoove us to think a little more about why those rules , regulations and laws came about and how we still have some room to navigate that which is a fairly large playing field called “norms.”

Norms, in my pea like brain, reside inside a buffer zone which lies in the area just prior to reaching one of these red lines. They are usually unstated and they are usually simply expected for those who uphold some integrity and they are usually just done by people who have some inner sense of ‘right.’ Trump reminds me of some people who I have worked with who have constantly suggested “but it is legal.” And, 90% of the time, I have felt uneasy about what we were about to do. Not that it was illegal but rather it <a> tested what I would consider a norm and <b> it was clearly in that buffer zone that got too close to the red line.

Yeah. There will always be people who will dance on the icy brink of the red line and these same people will dance while singing “it is legal.”

It is a hollow song to sing.

Let’s just say there are two basic types of people:

Those who see norms, and normative behavior, and see it as guidelines for right or wrong <and subsequently check laws, rules and regulations to be sure all is good & legal>. In other words behavior doesn’t have to be dictated by some rule or law but more often than not “what seem like the right thing to do.”

Those who see “anything that could be deemed legal”, or, conversely, “if it is not expressly forbidden than it is permissible”. These people don’t ever ponder “what seems like the right thing to do” because, to them, if it is legal it is right. In other words … if bad actions do not amount to crimes than it is good enough to do to earn a win/reward.

……… choose to be strong …

That is actually the choice America needs to make with regard to its identity – which represents who and what we are.

This is a moment. A moment for America to look in the mirror and decide what kind of person they want to be.

All I know is I do not want to look in the mirror and see Donald Trump Jr. looking back at me.

All I know is I do not want to look in the mirror and see Donald Trump Sr. looking back at me.

But that’s me.

Everyone needs to make their own decision … I just think someone needs to stand up and tell everyone “now is the time we all need to look in the mirror.”

“It is perhaps the misfortune of my life that I am interested in far too much but not decisively in any one thing; all my interests are not subordinated in one but stand on an equal footing.”

–

Søren Kierkegaard

====================

“I wasn’t much of a petty thief. I wanted the whole world or nothing.”

–

Charles Bukowski

=================

So. Last night I had a little time before I shut down my computer to scrounge around some of my favorite websites for some thoughts, quotes and images. I don’t really believe in serendipity but within 15 minutes on three different sites I gathered the three quotes that anchor this piece.

………… restless thinking one big adventure ……..

I sat back after copying them and I realized, well, it is perhaps the misfortune of my Life that I am interested in far too much.

My misfortune is that I am incessantly curious, a relentless contrarian to existing thought & thinking and a restless thinker in general. My misfortune is that I see restless thinking as one big adventure.

I sat back after copying them and I realized I am not satisfied being a petty thief … I want the whole world.

And as I sat back I also thought a little about how I got to this place.

Growing up I remember hearing a lot of “maybe you should be more realistic” type advice. I remember it chafing.

It made me think … well … I should think smaller.

That chafed.

I am sure the ‘safer’ aspect … aiming toward more achievable things and not stretching too far possibly felt okay … but I chafed on the whole thought of not getting what I thought could be achieved or what could be done.

Shit.

I still do.

Going small just seems … well … small to me.

And, yes, there is a price to pay for thinking this way.

Ok. I will point out two prices you pay.

The first price is restlessness.

Oh. And restlessness can make people feel uneasy. It makes them uneasy because you are not easily slotted. People want you to present them with a peg and they can put it in some hole and thinking about it and look at it.

People, like me, who have the misfortune of being interested in anything and everything and not satisfied with one thing are more of a box. And while boxes represent some symmetry and some tangible aspect for people to grasp, at the same time, … sigh … it is not a peg

The second price is wins … as in quantity of wins.

Even I, probably a more pragmatic aspirationalist, don’t aim toward some truly realistic things on occasion. That means not getting done what you want to get done, not getting where you want to get to and not getting, in general, the largeness you desired. In other words you didn’t get a win while someone who aimed lower or accepted something smaller did get a win.

Does that matter? I mean life doesn’t really give out trophies, people do.

Yeah. It does matter. Watching others win when you don’t does matter to some extent. And you would be lying if you didn’t admit that.

Aiming for it all, or something bigger <more broad> than something smaller <more focused>, and not getting it can make you start thinking smaller. And why do you do that? You want a frickin’ win.

And that, well, that can affect how you think and what you do.

It does so because many of us are willing to compromise some fairly important things to win on occasion.

Shit. Even more of us are willing to compromise a lot of fairly important things <which they hadn’t even tangibly decided were important to them> in order to win on occasion.

Oh. I bring up the second group because they are the ones who don’t get the ones who have the misfortune of wanting bigger things. It’s like a petty thief most likely scoffs at the master thief.

Uhm.

But those people may just call this reality <and, therefore, kind of suggesting those who have the misfortune of wanting to know everything about everything are not realistic>.

Whew. Yeah.

It is quite likely that my reality, and those whose reality is similar, fights reality itself – I mean society & culture creates lines of reality of which we get boxed in by with regard to expectations.

Umberto Eco is the one who suggested life has “lines of resistance.” This was his version of reality.

These ‘lines of resistance’ are established mostly so that we cannot say or do whatever we like with impunity. The problem with that is they also bring along some baggage … baggage like … uhm … what is viewed as pragmatic & realistic <smaller versions of shit that are achievable by many rather than few>.

Oh.

Yeah.

But, thankfully, the lines of resistance can shift.

But, thankfully, some can reach across the lines of resistance and gain access to some bigger shit which lies outside the lines of resistance.

All that said. Life, and these lines of resistance, encourage some people … mostly those who have the misfortune to be interested in far too much but not decisively in any one thing to shrink them … encourage them to think smaller and, inevitably, maybe be smaller than what they should be.

==============================

“Most of my life has been spent trying to shrink myself.

Trying to become smaller. Quieter. Less sensitive. Less opinionated. Less needy. Less me.

Because I didn’t want to be a burden.

I didn’t want to be too much or push people away. I wanted people to like me. I wanted to be cared for and valued. I wanted to be wanted. So for years, I sacrificed myself for the sake of making other people happy. And for years, I suffered.

But I’m tired of suffering, and I’m done shrinking. It’s not my job to change who I am in order to become someone else’s idea of a worthwhile human being.

I am worthwhile. Not because other people think I am, but because I exist, and therefore I matter. My thoughts matter. My feelings matter. My voice matters. And with or without anyone’s permission or approval, I will continue to be who I am and speak my truth.

Even if it makes people angry. Even if it makes them uncomfortable. Even if they choose to leave. I refuse to shrink. I choose to take up space. I choose to honour my feelings. I choose to give myself permission to get my needs met. I choose to make self-care a priority.

I choose me.”

Daniell Koepke

=================

Let me be clear.

Smaller is safer. Smaller can actually be very satisfying. Smaller, in some ways, can actually permit you to live a fuller Life <although I would argue it’s not really a bigger Life>. And while small, in this case, could be construed as bad or lesser than … it is not. It is simply a viable choice for people with regard t their Life and how they want to live it.

Just as those who have the misfortune to want the whole world, well, that is their choice.

And I would argue that whatever your choice we are all aiming toward the same place … lets call it our “home.” That home within. The place within you that either sits on the favorite Barcalounger safe & sound in a Life lived well in smaller aspects or the one who wanders forever restlessly over hill & thru the dale seeking the next interest or learning or new thing.

Personally, I am the latter. I am a nomad thinker. I want to know it all. And when I know something I want to know more. But that topic is for another day.

==============

“All of life is a coming home.

Salesmen, secretaries, coal miners, beekeepers, sword swallowers, all of us. All the restless hearts of the world, all trying to find a way home.”

Patch Adams

====================

Today I would suggest whether you have the misfortune of wanting to know it all or whether you believe in something bigger than you or simply believe there is something bigger within you to be found by not wanting it all … your compass & your map resides within … not some external place or location which may appear to fulfill some aspect of ‘home.’

“Perhaps we should love ourselves so fiercely that, when others see us, they know exactly how it should be done.”

—

Rudy Francisco

=====

Ok.

Society norms.

Group norms.

Individual norms.

They are (kind of) the three behavioral levels of why we do the shit that we do.

Each is powerful in its own right. And while creating alignment within all three can sometimes be a real bitch of a challenge, I would actually suggest we should view individual behavior the following way:

Society norms.

Individual norms.

Group norms.

I suggest this because I believe individual norms, our personal behavior, is constantly being squeezed by society overall as well as the groups in our circle of influence.

I note this because, if you are not careful, you get squeezed into, well, maybe not nothingness, but certainly “lessness.”

I note this to suggest you almost always have to fight back.

Okay. How about this instead?

Let’s say you gotta sharpen your elbows and create some space for you in between what society is suggesting <which often feels a lot like it is actually demanding> and what your current circle is outlining as the right way to think and behave.

It is fairly easy to sharpen your elbows and fight back, but without some thought you are simply fighting. You end up fighting with no purpose other than it feels good to fight back in some way. And while fighting back in and of itself is somewhat satisfying because you feel like you should it is less than satisfying because it has no real focus or purpose. I will not suggest it is completely ‘wasted energy’ but it is certainly less than efficient use of your energy.

So what about the ‘thought’ part then? This is where ‘knowing what you want and knowing who you are’ rears its ugly head.

Being “anti” something is pretty easy. I could actually suggest in some ways it is lazy. But what I do know for sure is that being “for something” is hard. Like … well … really hard. You not only have to convince yourself that what you are standing for is something … but also mentally accept it is not going to perfectly align with your group norms as well as the societal norms. Yeah. That means on occasion, maybe even often, you may not be in alignment with all the shit going on around you.

I would argue the former, convincing yourself, is the most difficult part.

Why?

Who I am today is not who I will be tomorrow … combined with … you cannot really hide from what will be … which makes fighting back partially a constant battle of movement and adaptation.

Here is what I know.

Society is not always right.

Your group is not always right.

So why should you always have to be right?

Fighting back isn’t about being “right.” It is simply about fighting for what is right … you. I will not call it individual rights but rather the right to be an individual. Maybe it is also partially a fight for the part of you that you love. I imagine this suggests you gotta find a part of yourself to love … but that I most likely a different post and thought for a different time.

But I love the quote I opened with. It is different than the typical “you have to love yourself before you can …” idea.

It is more about the benefit to you.

It is living Life by example. And maybe that is the bigger thought.

Fighting back against society … against some of your circle of acquaintances norms … is not about simply fighting for fighting sake but rather fighting to show that you, who you are and what you do, shines a fierce light on something you love <who you are and the things you do>.

Yikes. That’s kind of a scary thought. Maybe it is a “hope to attain one day“ type thought.

And you know what? That’s okay.

Hard.

But okay.

Hard because society & group norms suggest the only way you can fight back is to “know now” and not “hope to be.”

Fuck ‘em.

We are a work in progress. All of us and all ‘norms.’

No matter what society says and your group norms state <sometimes unequivocally> we are a constant work in progress. The fight is never a battle for ‘lessness’ … no one can even kiddingly suggest that … all norms at all levels desire ‘moreness.’

They may just not know how to do it or what it looks like.

If you love your ‘work in progress self’ fiercely maybe, just maybe, you will show how it’s done.

“I don’t know a perfect person. I only know flawed people who are still worth loving.”

―

John Green

============

Ok. While perfection may be one of the shittiest conversations people have with themselves, perfection (or doing things 100% perfect) is actually an interesting discussion. Its interesting because while perfection is a shit objective, trying to do something well, in fact, well, perfectly, is an admirable objective. Problems arise when you begin thinking perfection isn’t an objective, but rather attainable — at all time in all situations.

THAT is one of the crazy things affecting business today. The seemingly relentless pursuit, and demand, for perfection.

Or. Maybe let’s say “get it 100% right all the time.”

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm … Let’s think about that one for a moment.

It creates an excuse to procrastinate in decision-making.

It creates a fear of mistakes.

It actually creates a lower “standard” (i.e., ‘let’s make the objective so we achieve perfection and can claim perfection success’ versus ‘let’s aim for the fucking best that we can do if we max out and we may make some mistakes along the way but we outperformed those assholes who claimed 100% perfection by a mile.’)

It creates an entire generation of managers who look backwards instead of forward (i.e., lets re-explore every detail to see why we made that one mistake so we can refine our process so that we can achieve 100% perfection).

It creates a lot of angst and unnecessary pressure (on the wrong things).

Maybe the worst?

Think about what we are teaching (encouraging) our young people to do?

Do fewer things that could possibly end in less than perfection.

Take fewer chances.

Believe perfect mediocrity is better than flawed excellence or brilliance.

(now THAT was a scary sentence to write)

Yup. That’s what happens.

So. Maybe, if instead of perfection, we encourage doing your best. Striving to be better.

Stuff like that. Everybody is so scared of mistakes our version of today’s perfection is “what is the lowest bar I can achieve and guarantee no mistakes”.

I think that is what we have come to.

Oh. And add to that last thought:”Well. The only way we could make a mistake (or not be perfect) is because there is a flaw in the system.” (and then you invest so much energy reviewing an existing system or analyzing peoples behavior or tearing apart what was exactly done that you have … well. … expended a shit load of energy)

Look. I am not suggesting that mistakes shouldn’t be reviewed to insure they weren’t mistakes of laziness or stupidity. But at some point you have to believe in your systems and process and people and say “my perfection is a 95% success”. Huh? What do I mean by that? Well. If that 5% consists of some part honest human error and another part people just trying shit as improvement, well, that is ok. In fact, that may be perfect.

Oh. And not all perfections are created equal.

I don’t encourage spectacular errors, but, I have to tell ya, when one of my group has made one and it was because they were going 120% like a bull in a china shop a part of me wants to pat them on the back and say “awesome. Let’s do it again. Cause next time it just may be spectacular. Not a spectacular error.”

Oh.

The next struggle with perfection.

Let’s call this perfection procrastination.

“The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides never decides.”

Henri Frederic Amiel, Swiss Philosopher

The sometimes (seemingly) unattainable goal of perfection freezes you. You don’t even get started. At its worst it is “theft.” Perfection has stolen action. This means by focusing on perfection you actually end up settling for less or, even worse, nothing (or maybe even worse … less than the best …). And it’s all because you cannot envision having the time or being able to invest the energy to complete the task or objective perfectly … so you decide to not even do it. Theoretically we are creating an entire generation of “non-finishers.”

“I went for years not finishing anything because, of course, when you finish something you get judged.”

Erica Jong

This is like a domino effect. If no one finishes then no one learns the satisfaction (or peace of mind) of job well done. Or what Julia Louise Woodruff called “out of the strain of doing, into the peace of done.”

Ok. Let’s be clear. While I am ranting about perfection procrastination and what this whole fear of ‘less than perfect’ steals from us. It is a good thing to aspire for perfection as long as you maintain balance (of which we in the business world seem to becoming worse at over the years rather than better). I am suggesting there is a difference between aiming toward perfection and doing perfection. Because I do believe aiming at it is always a good thing.

“Aim at perfection in everything, though in most things it is unattainable. However, they who aim at it, and persevere, will come much nearer to it than those whose laziness and despondency make them give it up as unattainable.”

Lord Chesterfield

But. All that said I do believe what leaders (and some parents I believe) often forget is that perfection is a moving target. In life and, yes, in business.

“When you aim for perfection, you discover it’s a moving target.”

Geoffrey Fisher, Archbishop of Canterbury

Anyway. There does seem to be this wacky belief in the business world that perfection is NOT a moving target. It is something unstill and unmoving and a set & solid objective we are all running toward. I will suggest this all ties back to the whole ‘measurement’ and ‘standards’ game we all seem to be stuck playing. The infamous … “well, how do we know if we are doing it well if we don’t measure it?”

I wish we could just assume Red’s management style (and he did win a shitload of NBA titles):

“Just do what you do best.”

Red Auerbach

But. This whole perfection thing makes it tough. We won an NBA championship, but we lost 20 games. And 10 games were really close and we could have lost them. We weren’t perfect. C’mon. I know I am being silly but can’t you hear this in the business world?

Yes. We completed the project on objective. But remember the 2 mistakes we made along the way. What can we do to make it go perfectly next time (even though exactly replicating any project is almost impossible … oh … it’s that moving target thing … sigh).

Anyway. I wrote this awhile back. And rereading it I am not sure I would change a word.

I didn’t realize I was writing about how perfection is killing business but in a way I was.

“All you can really ask is for someone to do the best they possibly can.”

Anonymous (and me)

I have said this a zillion times. I have no clue who I stole it from. But if I could beat this into the head of every leader in the world I would be willing to staple the piece of paper with the quote on it to my forehead. Sometimes we ask so much of our people it is amazing. And, yes, many people do not know what they are truly capable of until they are pushed to aim for something seemingly impossible. I know I am a pretty demanding leader. I set an incredibly high bar for my teams. But in the end all I ask is that they do their best.

And if it isn’t enough then we can say we didn’t succeed for lack of trying. And sometimes that’s as good as it gets.

And sometimes that is when I have been proudest of people. Ask the best of people and I believe most people will surprise you by doing a little better.

Here is what I know. Perfection, in general, is a shit concept and a shit objective. I also know perfection is a dangerous concept in today’s business world. And, maybe even worse, it is a dangerous to the lessons we are teaching the next generation of leaders.

“More than anything, to me, he was dad. And what a dad. He loved us with the passion and the devotion that encompassed his life. He taught us to believe in ourselves, to stand up for ourselves, to know ourselves and to accept responsibility for ourselves.

—-

Justin Trudeau at his father’s funeral

=============

Personal responsibility is hard. Much much harder than conceptually it sounds like it should be.

I do not have any research today to show how people who have a strong sense of personal responsibility attained that character trait <although if you google it there are gobs of people with an opinion on it>.

For everyone who had great parents who taught them I can give you a dozen examples of people with crappy parents who have a strong sense of personal responsibility.

For every victim mentality person I can show different contextual situations that got them into that state of mind and, just as well, the path to a strong sense of personal responsibility is numerous and rarely a straight path.

But, even without research I will suggest a couple of things:

1. Personal acceptance.

To have personal responsibility you almost have to have a strong foundation of personal acceptance.

I imagine I could suggest that if it doesn’t than you are simply ‘posing’ in an attempt to look like you are responsible <and that rarely can stand the test of time>.

Regardless. Somehow, someway people with a strong sense of personal responsibility have developed a strong sense of self. Not necessarily confidence, just self. They recognize ‘they is what they is’and accept the flaws <and try to improve in some way> and accept their strengths <but never take them for granted>.

In their personal acceptance we, around them, see ‘solid.’ We love these people on our business teams and friend teams, as peers or as leaders, because regardless of their IQ or leadership skills or professional skills … they are lighthouse people in their own right.

These people can also be baffling to the perfectionists in the world because part of ‘personal acceptance’ is understanding, if not embracing, imperfections.

2. Lucky to be here but many others are just as deserving.

Let me suggest that people with an incredibly strong sense of personal responsibility will also most likely be the people who suggest they had a little luck along the way – lucky in life situations, lucky with mentors, lucky in opportunities – and, even though they had worked hard with integrity, they had done nothing to actually deserve the luck.

As a corollary to this thinking they would also believe, as part of the luck aspect, that there are many others just as deserving. This attitude creates a sense of responsibility for actions, behavior and attitudes. Mistakes are owned and successes are shared.

Some people may suggest that personal responsibility and accountability is a reflection of integrity or humility.

Well.

It may be.

But I rather believe it is more a sense of understanding that successes are more often than not a reflection of just hard work but also circumstances. And, to that point, inherently someone with a strong sense of accountability balances success with the understanding that a portion of success is luck – luck of circumstance & luck of being the one where many were just as deserving if provided the opportunity.

Like I said in the beginning. This is not based on research and you can toss this into your ‘Bruce bullshit bin’ if you want. But I do not need research to state that personal responsibility and personal acceptance takes work. Lots of work and lots of fortitude.

It is the kind of thing you spend your entire life working hard to not only ‘be’ but to live up to the character standard you have set for yourself. A standard which you will never measure others against because, well, it is personal. You are accountable to your own standard and responsible to meet it. And everyone not only has the ability to set their own but they also have an unequivocal right to do so without anyone else telling them “how to be accountable.”

————

“It was instead something that we would have to spend the rest of our lives to work very hard to live up to.”

Spike Lee

————-

Personal responsibility is actually one of Life’s lightest burdens if you choose to accept it. That is why I am so often surprised by how many people actually do not accept this burden.

But, in the end, personal responsibility is a personal choice. No one can convince you to do it or be that way. You have to help yourself on this one because no one else can.

“I’ve been injected with false hope so many fucking times I’ve lost count”

—–

via concealthefeeling

===========

“We all suffer from dreams.”

―

Bernard Cornwell

=============

Well. I am unequivocally a hope guy.

I believe leaders should be dealers of hope.

I believe hope is stronger than … well … pretty much anything.

I believe no one should be empty of hope.

I believe everyone deserves someone to give them hope when hopelessness seems the only thing available.

That said.

While, technically, false hope is a simple definition, realistically, there are a couple kinds of false hope.

Ok. Actually a shitload of derivatives of false hope.

In my words there would be, on one end of the spectrum, the more heinous version of ‘offering a fantasy unrealistic thought’ all the way over to the other bookend of ‘grasping for some glimmer of a semi-impossible reality.”

And then everything in between.

Hope, in even a false way, has many dimensions. And within any and all dimensions I would suggest even a sliver of hope has an exponential value beyond its mere size. It is quite possible that is where false hope becomes a little dangerous – that exponential value beyond its actual size.

Even with a glimmer hope can shine so bright it can blind you to the relentless onslaught of truths and realities. The truths which are more likely to showcase the horizon you are not only gonna be stuck looking at but visiting at some point <which is not the horizon you had actually hoped for>. But false hope is maybe even slightly more dangerous than that <if anything could be more dangerous than be blinded by reality>.

It actually is more likely to blind you on the important little shit than the meaningless bigger shit. False hope inevitably drives someone to focus on the bigger more audacious, and less likely, objective. This translates into the fact that same someone is more likely to overlook the smaller more important shit that would actually have increased the odds of attaining the hopeful objective.

How does that most often happen?

You are more likely to make some smaller, more impactful, poor choices and decisions hanging on to the sliver of false hope like it is a security blanket from the dangers of the reality you know must be out there.

By the way. That is the main difference between real hope and false hope – in the nuts & bolts aspects.

Real hope. Real hope, which truly has aspects of reality embedded within, actually permits you to navigate reality’s obstacles as you pursue the real hope of something. The real truth is that real hope does not blind, it actually opens your eyes. That said. Contrary to belief the most dangerous false hope is not the one which is complete fantasy it is the type that actually has some reality embedded.

Yeah. False hope is not always some fantasy.

Yeah. False hope is not always something with “no knowable chance of coming to fruition.”

Yeah. As I stated in the beginning someone who purposefully propagates a true fantasy, something so unrealistic, well, that really isn’t false hope that is propagating a lie. And exploiting a lie is a heinous act <but that is NOT false hope>.

But, to be clear, false hope can be propagated not as some false promise or lie but rather in a weird ‘well intended way.’ Say, for example, someone has been elevated to a position who is unqualified and untested … but has some tested competency.

They sit down at their new desk with all the intentions to succeed and all the words to suggest everyone should believe they will figure it out and succeed.

Well. Let’s say they have strong well intended hope that they will do the job and deliver what they promise.

That is a trickier version of false hope. It is propagated from someone who quite possibly has some false beliefs with regard to their own capabilities, but true belief in a good objective.

Uhm. But what if they do figure it out?

Well. They have delivered on hopes therefore, in some weird equation of Life, a false hope has becomes a real hope delivered.

Look. My point is hope is hope.

And unless someone is lying just to get everyone’s unrealistic hopes up, any hope is better than no hope. You can either not have hope, or have false hope, or real hope <albeit ‘real’ and ‘hope’ is a tenuous relationship>.

To be clear … all actions should be determined by reason, logic and practicality within a construct of strategic hope. That is the main Hope equation.

But hope is … well … hope. And it is hope for a reason. You want something better and at exactly the same time you are not omniscient nor a future prognosticator therefore any and all hoe is fraught with some potential falseness an some potential truth.

Hope, in and of itself, is and has always been an abstract concept.

Fortune, luck, hard work & preparation can guide someone toward hope or away from hope. Hope is never, and I mean NEVER, representative of certainty. Therefore to accept any hope, false of true, you have to accept the existence of possibilities – good and bad.

To me, in my pea like brain, all false hope implies is that the odds are against you and success is slim, yet, people believe they can overcome any and all obstacles. And, in that point, is where I could argue that false hope is as good as any hope out there.

For in that statement if that is what makes someone get out of bed in the morning and go out and try to do something good or even just try, well, that’s not false that is real.

Having led people I do not use hope flippantly even though I believe in hope as a leadership responsibility.

I do believe people want truth.

I do believe people want to feel safe.

I do believe people want someone to accept some of the burden of the bigger more visionary aspects of Life.

I do believe people want to contribute, personally, within progress toward a specific hope for something better.

I do believe Hope, false or true, is hope.

And we all deserve hope.

===========

“People aren’t interested in the truth.

They’re interested in what keeps them safe.

They’re interested in being looked after. They’re interested in a tale being spun… Mighty men have moments of great despair that common people do not want to know about.”

“Fucked-up people will try to tell you otherwise, but boundaries have nothing to do with whether you love someone or not.

They are not judgments, punishments, or betrayals. They are a purely peaceable thing: the basic principles you identify for yourself that define the behaviors that you will tolerate from others, as well as the responses you will have to those behaviors.

Boundaries teach people how to treat you, and they teach you how to respect yourself. “

—

Cheryl Strayed

============

He who has no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down without walls.

—

Proverbs 25:28

=============

Boundaries. We all have them <albeit sometimes we treat them a little too much like rubber bands>.

Now.

I will admit.

Just out of curiosity I googled ‘boundaries’ and … well … there is a shitload of advice and encouragement to ‘establish boundaries as a way to earn respect/protect self/etc.’

I was surprised. I was surprised because I tend to believe 99.9% of people understand the concept of boundaries. And 99.9% of that 99.9% understand establishing boundaries for themselves.

I tend to believe almost everyone knows they should rule over their own soul, purpose, body & Life and building some walls or boundaries helps do that.

Yeah.

I know some people struggle with maintaining boundaries, but that is different than knowing you need to establish some boundaries.

Anyway.

Look. I am okay with societal boundaries. Setting up some norms for everyone to kind of play against and within. But I tend to be focused more on personal boundaries. And I also tend to believe personal boundaries are more important in the scheme of things as well as giving everyone the room to express their personal boundaries.

Why? Because I believe if we would give everyone a little more room their own personal boundaries <within some degrees of right versus wrong> I would then have the choice to intersect within their boundaries or not.

They have their choices.

And I have my choices.

They have their boundaries.

And I have my boundaries.

Now. To help everyone understand why I like this whole “you have your boundaries and I have mine and lets figure out if we don’t step over the other’s boundaries”Life management thing … I believe everyone has these three things in their Life:

Off limits.

Not acceptable.

Never.

These are stronger than guidelines. They are stop signs or “no trespassing” signs at your boundary which we create to identify, first, for ourselves what are reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around us and, second, set a clear guidepost <not guideline> on our response when someone steps over those lines.

To be clear.

It is up to us on recognizing what is our responsibility <and what is truly within our power to control> in providing oversight on our boundaries. But having boundaries, clear cut boundaries, will inevitably not just define you as a person and define your ‘scope of action’ and behaviors, but will also define the relationship between you and … well … everything and everyone around you. I could also argue that a good set of well self-defined boundaries means you manage, create and dictate your own destiny.

Huh?

Well. They establish responsibility … responsibility for your own life … how you act, what you do and what you will accept in others. They mean you have consciously made a stand in a define space and are accepting the consequences, good and bad, for the Life that occurs within those boundaries.

You and no one else.

I say that because <returning to my earlier point> these are your boundaries and you will respect the fact that others will have their own boundaries. Your boundaries are not meant to judge others behavior or, worse, dictate their behavior. They are simply your boundaries.

And they are simply you being clear with you on what is acceptable and what you assume responsibility for.

Now. This all sounds well and good and fairly easy for me type, but, this is where boundaries can get a little stretchy & sketchy on occasion. To make such a stand on boundaries as I am suggesting you kind of have to know your self fairly well — some well-defined beliefs, desires, needs, and attitudes.

Yeah.

That’s not always easy.

However, I will note, when you do get it right it makes it extremely difficult to be manipulated and extremely easy to walk your own path.

I found a book by a doctor called “Boundaries and Relationships” which suggest these are characteristics of healthy boundaries:

present

appropriate

clear

firm

protective

flexible

receptive.

determined by US

Well. I am not going to argue with a doctor but I kind of focus on the last one as the, well, only important one.

Determined by Us. As in “I” have chosen my boundaries. It simplifies things because this means “I” am taking responsibility for my own actions and “you” will take responsibility for your actions.

I also think it simplifies ‘self’ a little more because it helps create a clearer identity for you and them <and your Life is always easier if everyone around you can tell what type of person you are without guessing>.

I am certainly not going to suggest you shouldn’t accommodate someone else and other boundaries on occasion but I will suggest this helps establish the fact you cannot reasonably expect to accommodate everyone 100% … and 100% of the time.

Yeah. This means a person with strong boundaries understands that they may hurt someone’s feelings sometimes, but ultimately they can’t determine how other people feel.

A person with strong boundaries understands that living your own Life with your own boundaries is not about controlling another’s actions, but rather finding people with boundaries that support mutual growth.

A person with strong boundaries understands that … well … freedom is more often than not earned by some restraint and lots of work within the boundaries.

======

“Boundaries define us.

They define what is me and what is not me.

A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership.”

Think about it. The world spends a shitload of effort establishing boundaries to protect people from other people.

Which SHOULD make us think … shouldn’t we also invest a little effort … well … in ourselves to protect ourselves from other people?

And this permits me to end where I began.

I tend to believe 99.9% of people understand the concept of boundaries. And 99.9% of that 99.9% understand establishing boundaries for themselves.

I also tend to believe almost everyone knows they should rule over their own soul & body & Life and building some walls or boundaries helps do that. And, yet, a significant % of that 99.9% … well … aren’t particularly good at setting and keeping boundaries.

My guess is that we just don’t think about it hard enough and establish firmer boundaries often enough.

My guess is that far too many of us “play it by ear” and “see how it goes” … kind of not setting any firm boundaries but carrying a piece of the fence around with us prepared to set it aside or set it down and say “oh, boundary here.”

Sigh.

Maybe we should invest a little more effort in … well … ourselves. If only to protect ourselves from ourself on occasion. Maybe we should not think of boundaries as constrictive, but rather freeing us from some of the negative things seeking to attach themselves to us.

“So it is with minds. Unless you keep them busy with some definite subject that will bridle and control them, they throw themselves in disorder hither and yon in the vague field of imagination … and there is no mad or idle fancy that they do not bring forth in the agitation.”

―

Michel de Montaigne

==============

“Have you noticed that even the busiest people are never too busy to take time to tell you how busy they are?”

―

Bob Talbert

===============

Well. I don’t care what you do, where you work or what matters to you, we all want to get credit for the shit we do and we all know that part of ‘getting credit’ is looking like you are actually doing something.

By the way, this is different than the art of looking busy. Looking busy is all about making it look like you have too much to do and have so much responsibility that:

<a> people will look at you as so important that everyone has given you all that stuff to do, and

<b> no one should dare to give you any more to do because you already have so much to do.

Yes.

This is an art in and of itself. But the art of looking like you are actually doing something is a completely different heinous skill. On this one the person is actually trying to attach themselves to some types of outcomes.

I call this a heinous skill because in order to be truly effective at this art you:

<a> aren’t actually doing a shitload of meaningful stuff,

<b> you invest a lot of energy wandering in the middle of actual responsibility so that you can absolve yourself of bad shit and take credit/responsibility for good shit, and

<c> take credit for a shitload of shit you have never actually ever done.

I thought about this topic because Donald J Trump may be the poster child for the art of looking like you are doing something. He may have a PhD in it. He is a master at the two things which make up a successful “looking like he is doing something:”

Everything revolves around me.

The corollary to this is “nothing good could ever happen unless I was involved”.

The corollary to that is “anything bad that happens is because they didn’t involve me enough”.

=============

“We don’t need all the people they want us to get. Let me tell you ― the one that matters is me. I’m the only one that matters because when it comes to it, that’s what the policy is going to be.”

Donald J Trump

===============

Now. For the everyday schmuck like me it is easy to shuffle paperwork, get on the computer with two screens <one personal, one work so you can switch and not get busted> and a variety of little things at your desk that kind of fill up some down time all the while implying good shit is happening because of me. This is what doers do. Make their doing look essential (and in many cases it actually is). It’s part of showcasing you have value although your work may not look like it’s that valuable.

But at the senior management level, it is truly an art.

They have the ability to paint a picture of ‘my job is so important that my company wouldn’t make it without me’that, well, some really senior people start believing it!

Look. There is truly being essential and then there is claiming to be essential. Those who are essential don’t need to try and look like they are doing something, 95% of the time they are simply in demand. People want them to be involved. That’s how you find essential people. They are the ones in demand. No one demands the jerk who wants to look like they are doing something, but don’t actually do something.

Next.

insure you have enough wins to point to because the bigger the win the less you have to do elsewhere (the art of metaphorical winning).

Metaphorical winning is like having medals for nothing (but you have medals). Resumes are strewn with this type of shit under the guise of “all the things I have done.”

Anyway. Insuring you have enough wins is tricky for the “looking like doing something” artists.

“Lots of little wins” doesn’t work because … uhm … to have lots of real tangible little wins you will actually have had to have done something.

“Lots of little <fake> wins” is difficult to make work because keeping track of things you have supposedly done while simply looking like you were getting something done takes a shitload of work and bullshitting.

Now. Here is where the masters of looking like you are doing something are truly skilled – they are the ones who can envision the future. Huh? They can see no big wins in the immediate future and they recognize that imperils their just looking like they are doing something and they start worry that they may actually have to do something. So they get to work.

What do they do? They find some small win and make it look exponentially better and bigger than it is. They make gestures with flamboyance to create an illusion of “bigness.” It is small stuff that is just bigly in appearance.

Some of what I have written may sound absurd because wins & achievements should be relatively easy to discern, but they are not. Most of the meaningful achievements often look frickin’ small when outlined & explained and, in today’s world, we get encouraged to show big. So the art of looking thoughtfully busy people have an edge here because they are masters at self PR.

That said. Maybe that’s where the rubber hits the road. Find the ones who are comfortable with the small, looking small, but have the bigger achievements.

In the end.

I believe senior people who have mastered the art of looking busy are assholes. They are assholes because business thrives on not looking busy, but actually doing things. Anything less than that, particularly if you are being paid more, is business malpractice.

They look thoughtful but haven’t offered a useful thought in years (all the while claiming to be a thought leader).

They look like they are successful but really don’t know how to actually do the somethings they have claimed to do.

They look like they are essential (mostly because their big wins are wrapped around “I was the energy that lifted everyone – but I cannot point to what things I did) but struggle to consistently show their essentialness other than grand results.

They look like assholes trying to look busy, and thoughtful, and sucking morale & energy away from the ones actually doing good shit and not caring who gets credit for it.

“A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

==============

I have to disagree with Ralphie <which is what I believe his mother called him>. Consistency and <some> predictability gets a bad rap. In other words … consistency is neither foolish nor refuge of solely small minds. Nor is it a hobgoblin of anything <let alone little minds>.

<I am pleased to be able to use the inestimable, and not oft-used, hobgoblin word>

Please note. I write this as a person who abhors being too predictable in personal life and in business. I like going left just because the directions say go right just to see what those who tell you to go right are missing.

But. Here is an uncomfortable truth <at least to me>. Most of us like some consistency in our lives. Aw heck … I will admit it … most of us like a lot <as in shitload> of consistency in our lives.

Oh. And by lives I mean Life as well as in business.

Despite the fact we so often speak of ‘throw caution to the wind’ or that we like to be unpredictable or we like to be spontaneous or ‘be random’, we really don’t.

Yes. We say it, but, rarely do it.

We like consistency and some predictability to provide a solid backbone to our lives. And as a manager of employees you absolutely cherish some consistent behavior day in and day out.

Now, to be fair to Welles & Emerson, when is consistency a refuge of small minds?

Well. I refer to this as “small living.” It is consistent just for comfort sake. It is actually lazy living but made worse because it is living under the guise of something else — lack of any risk. Hence the reason I call it ‘small living.’ This type of consistency keeps you from exploring the bigness Life has to offer those willing to discover what is beyond consistency & predictability boundaries.

Here is what I think about that. That type of thinking, in most countries and languages, inevitably leads to a ornière, rodera, keréknyom, kiima <rut> or être en rut, in een sleur, essere in un solco, olla kiima <be in a rut>.

Rut … as in ‘an elongated hole.’

Oh my. So being too consistent or predictable is living in a hole? Yup.

Here is a reminder about holes. They typically:

<a> have slippery slopes leading down to the bottom,

<b> it is really really difficult to stop sliding down a slippery slope once on it,

<c> you need someone to pull you out of the hole once you are in it <or you stay in it>.

Just as spontaneity is imagined to be better than it actually is <because the other word for ‘spontaneity’ is ‘surprise’ and, despite surprise’s incredible reputation, the truth is that most surprises are bad> predictability can become tantalizingly too attractive. Geez. So I have just said predictability is tantalizingly attractive … as well as consistency … and, uh oh, even spontaneity. That certainly explains why Life can be so confusing at times. All things different but tantalizingly attractive <insert a big fat ‘Yikes’ here>.

Now. Explaining life is a shitload easier than actually living it and doing what needs to be done to maximize it.

Let me explain how difficult it can be. Life best lived walks a razor thin balance of several things:

<please note … this is not research but rather Bruce quasi-vapid thinking>

And I would suggest <using my research brain knowledge> that this razor thin balance is maybe an 80%-15%-5% <with a +/- 2.5% margin of error> Life mix.

Yup. Me, the lover of not being too predictable … accepts the fact that having the majority of Life be familiar and consistent and predictable as, this pains me to admit, good. Because with some people, using my margin of error. less than 2.5% of your entire Life can actually consist of any true spontaneity and you could be one of the happiest non-hobgoblins on the face of the earth.

Oh. Please note that I believe “planned spontaneity’ is possibly the biggest oxymoron of this generation.We are so obsessed with time and ‘maximizing each available moment’ for fear of ‘wasting anything’ that we actually plan our free time.

This kind of seems nuts to me.

I sometimes believe that in our objective driven world focused on predictability <including measuring success on how well we were able to predict our outcome, including happiness — which seems slightly ludicrous> that we have lost sight of the fact Life is often meant to be lived to ‘do’ & to discover and that the discovery is the measurement not the supposed end value of that discovery.

Do I value the road which was rocky, overgrown and comes to an aggravating dead end as more valuable than the one which was scenic, smooth and ends with a beautiful view?

Whew. I don’t know. I would hope that I don’t measure them against each other, but rather accept the discovery as the success. Oh. That is where predictability rears its ugly head.

Predictability and consistency is often measured in today’s time obsessed world as not only the process & the routine, but also in the result. And maybe that is where I do begin to edge into consistency being the hobgoblin of small minds. I would be foolish to suggest we don’t all aim for more positive results than negative ones because we do. Why? Simply because we all want to be happy.

But if you live your life solely focused on ‘only doing what will make me happy’ <or has the highest probability of happiness> based on predictable behavior I would suggest you have committed to not only a fairly boring path you still will not be 100% successful in reaching your intended objective.

In business? It sounds frustratingly non innovative <and a sure path down the slippery slope of mediocrity>.

And maybe that is the point.

Too much consistency and predictability only insures a life of happy <possibly content> mediocrity.

Maybe some people are content with mediocrity, but I would suggest that Life isn’t really meant to be mediocre. It is meant to be spectacularly exciting and disappointing. Maybe not all the time <any one of us would eventually get sick if 24 hours a day we rode the world’s largest rollercoaster>, but certainly we deserve to see how high we can go and how low we can get out of.

Why? Because all of that stuff defines our character <plus, who the hell wants their epitaph to be “he was consistent & predictable”?>.

I imagine all I am suggesting is that Life isn’t meant to be little. Too much consistency and predictability simply insures you have made your Life as little as it can be. I am not suggesting you have to go hog-wild and ‘live every moment like it is your last’ <which, in general, I tend to believe is fairly crappy advice> but rather … maybe it is challenging yourself to live on that razor thin balance of consistency, planned spontaneity and true spontaneity.

Look. I know this isn’t easy … and I also understand that there is a huge spectrum of living life possibilities between dangerous freedom and slavery to predictability. I know I personally swing back & forth between the two <which could make anyone’s head a little dizzy on occasion>.

But maybe it is simpler to go ahead and call this type of attitude & behavior as ‘restless consistency.’ Maybe we should aspire to live Life that way … and each of us define our restlessness however we would like, but maintain some restlessness.

I can guarantee only one thing: it will not all go well.

Okay.

I can guarantee two things: it will not all go well but what does go well will most likely go really well.

Well. Maybe I can predict one more thing. Your Life will be bigger. Your business will be bigger.