Sunday– a breakdancing class. My plan was to hide in the back because I’ve never attempted to breakdance before and because I’m not particularly coordinated. As it turns out, I was the only one in the class. My instructor was very patient and sweet. When I asked him the age of the oldest person he’d tried to teach to breakdance, he coyly changed the subject (meaning that I was the oldest person to try to contort themselves on his dance floor).

Sweat factor- B- (because I had to have every step broken down). High sweat potential for those with experience.

Fun factor: A.

Bragging rights: A+ (Not everyone can say they took a breakdancing class)

Customer service- A+.

Monday– Indoor rowing. You’d think someone who trained and competed in an indoor rowing competition would crush an interval workout. You’d be wrong if you thought that. Truthfully, I’d only rowed once since the competition (burnout). I was a-huffing and a-puffing throughout the workout. I even took a short break with only about 100 meters left to row. The workout involved intervals of 1000, 750, 500, 250, and 500 meters with varying rest breaks in between. I did a total of 3000 meters at an average time of 2:18.2 which actually is not that bad for me.

Sweat factor- A

Fun factor: B (that was work, not fun)

Bragging rights: B-

Customer service- A+.

Tuesday- Beginner’s Salsa. This was fun! I have very basic knowledge of Salsa from Zumba, but this was first time anyone had explained the timing to me. It was also the first time I danced with a partner. At the end the instructors showed what the steps we learned looked like in real time (and with people with real rhythm).

Monday– I went to a bootcamp-style class. It wasn’t listed as a bootcamp-styled class, but that’s how I would describe it. First off, it started with a run through the parking lot of a shopping center. You know I wasn’t crazy about that. I took a little shortcut so as not to hold up the class with my delayed return. I think we used everyplace of equipment known to gymkind. We did several rounds of the following: sit ups, various planks with the BOSU, jumping jacks, jumping squats, push ups, burpees, sit ups, mountain climbers with the gliders,climbing stairs, dumbbell bicep curls, ring rows, and TRX pistons. Just before the last set of exercises, as the instructor was telling us the sequence of the torture we’d be receiving, he casual asked if he should add a short run at the end. No one spoke up, so I decided to take the leadership role and stated a firm, “No.” I’m sure if I took this class on a regular basis, I’d be in incredible shape. For now, I’ll stick to being semi-fit.

Sweat factor- A

Fun factor: B- (working this hard is not fun)

Bragging rights: A+

Customer service- A+.

Tuesday– I attended a “toning” class. It focused on upper body and core. It was geared towards women who want to get toned without getting “bulky,” so we alternated between bands and light weights.

Sweat factor- B-

Fun factor: C

Bragging rights: C (who hasn’t “toned”)

Customer service- C- (Unlike most fitness instructors, this one didn’t greet us, ask who was new, show where the necessary equipment was located, check in with us during the class, thank us after the class, ask how the newbies liked it, etc.)

Wednesday– Restorative yoga. Blankies and pillows? Yes, please. The studio was beautiful and calming. I slept like a baby that night. Restorative yoga doesn’t look like it would do much, but it sure does settle the mind and relax the body.

Sweat factor- C (It’s a relaxation class); Zen factor: A+

Fun factor: B

Bragging rights: C (can’t really brag about relaxing)

Customer service: A+

Sitting in my car post-bootcamp/interval training. Trying to decide if I had the energy to drive, or if I should get an Uber.

WEEK 3:

Wednesday: Yoga for people with bad backs. Ok, this is not the name of the class, but it’s geared towards protecting the back during yoga. I would describe this as a gentle and/or beginner’s yoga which meant it was perfect for me. The studio used to be a house, so it had a cozy feel to it. All of the staff members and customers were exceptionally friendly; it definitely felt like a family. I’m not crazy about yoga, so my experience wasn’t especially memorable. Still, like all but one place I’ve visited with ClassPass, I felt instantly welcomed and left with a little bit more confidence in my yoga abilities.

Sweat factor- B- (Trying to bend this body is sweat-induing.)

Fun factor: C

Bragging rights: C (It’s hard for me to brag about yoga)

Customer service: A++

Thursday: I opted for strength training for my next class. The closest I could get to my beloved barbells was to take a BodyPump-like class. Since I was new, I was restricted in the amount of weight I could put on my bar. I have no problem with that policy even though it made me chuckle to do cleans and presses with a 10 lb bar. If you increase your intensity and use perfect form, you can get in a good workout no matter how light the weight. So that’s what I did. I squeezed my biceps as I curled my 10 lb bar and was glad to feel a little soreness the next day.

Monday: I went to a Barre class. To each her own way, right? It’s just that my way goes by faster because it uses more movements. I may have been biased from the start because they make sure that you know that you will be doing strength exercises but that you won’t have to worry about “getting bulky” because the movements are small, and you stretch the muscles right away to elongate them. Remember that Sesame Street song with the lyrics, “One of these things is not like the others?” That was me in a Barre class. I was the darkest, oldest, least flexible, biggest person in the room. I can see the appeal, though. Barre seems to be a lifestyle with a close-knit community.

Sweat factor- B- (It was very warm in the room.)

Fun factor: C (All those little movements… all the moves that require flexibility…Ugh.)

Bragging rights: A+ (Even though I took numerous breaks, I love listing out all the badass stuff I did.

Customer service: A- (The manager was very friendly. The teacher appeared to be trying really hard to be nice, but I think he really wanted to cuss our out-of-shape butts out. I’m sure I saw a vein popping out of his head when he “suggested” that I did not need to take a break in the middle of a rotation.)

Here’s a picture of me at the end of class:

So tired and sweaty that I was disoriented.

Wednesday: Zumba! Woot woot. I had a blast and was glad that some my previously learned moves had not been forgotten. Everyone there seemed to be friends. There was a great community and they eagerly welcomed me into their fold.

Sweat factor- B+

Fun factor: A

Bragging rights: C (Nothing against Zumba, just nothing to write home about when you’ve done it for years)

Customer service: A-

Saturday: A Valeo dance class which incorporated hula hoops, “toning,” and fantastically girly burlesque moves. Thankfully my skills with the weighted hula hoop far surpass my skills with my daughter’s Target hula hoop. Still, I looked a little crazy. The choreography and the instructor’s energy were amazing. This was the. most. fun. class. This class almost made me want to drop ClassPass and my gym membership and spend my fitness days swinging my hips and throwing up jazz hands. Oh, let me not forget that we did routines with hats and chairs. I felt so feminine and sexy!