Category Archives: LifeStyles

The last time you heard from me (January 23, 2013, if anyone’s keeping track), Downton Abbey’s Sybil Branson (née Lady Sybil Crawley) was still alive. So, for that matter, was Matthew Crawley, heir to the popular British program’s eponymous estate. The last time you heard from me, Pope Benedict XVI was still wearing his famous red shoes. Advance word from Hollywood revealed, however, that due to copyright restrictions, another pair of famous red shoes would not be worn in Oz: The Great and Powerful.

The last time you heard from me I was still living in Richmond, Virginia. That is no longer the case.

Yes, the world will turn. And with every revolution, changes large and small are writ large and small in lives large and small…even in lives fictitious.

Following a nine-week social media sabbatical, I am slowly making my way back to something resembling an online life. Blogging, tweeting, and Facebook-ing all took a back seat to real life, and although I’ve had pangs of guilt about my absence (Would my readers think I’d abandoned them? Would they rush into the arms of another midlife second wife and abandon me?) it was necessary to stay away. I haven’t had a vacation in years, and this hiatus in the real world felt like a vacation, albeit one with considerably more packing involved.

It’s easy to forget just how much work goes into in a cross-country move…how many details, large and small, demand one’s attention. The sheer physicality of moving is exhausting. Just as exhausting are the weeks preceding the move, when your life is in flux and you don’t even know where you’ll land.

In a recent New York Times interview, David Rock, director of the Neuroleadership Institute, talked about the notion of certainty in relation to the brain. Using the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy as an example, he said:

The feeling of uncertainty feels like pain, when you can’t predict when the lights will come back on and you’re holding multiple possible futures in your head. That turns out to be cognitively exhausting.

I cannot begin to compare my own comfortable situation to those displaced by natural, political, or financial disasters. I do think, however, that anyone who has ever moved, for whatever reason, can agree that the months preceding a relocation—with unsettling uncertainties about where one will live, where one will create a life and a home—certainly feels like pain. Certainly it’s every bit as cognitively exhausting as it is physically draining.

House-hunting is fun for about the first week; after that, it’s fraught with existential angst. Where will our new pizza joint be? What neighbors will we have, and what will they be like? What sort of days will fill our daily lives? Where will we dream our nightly dreams?

In The Poetics of Space, the French philosopher Gaston Bachelard writes that “an entire past comes to dwell in a new house,” which is to say that “wherever you go, there you are.”

As I write this, my husband and I have been in our new home for 36 days. We have brought our past lives with us along with our books, dishes, and furniture. We are unpacking and storing, organizing and setting up, making room for all of these things in our new space in Northeast Ohio. The rooms that were bare and strange upon our arrival are starting to take on the look of us, the look of the familiar, as if we’ve lived here longer than 36 days.

And all the while the world is turning, and changes large and small are happening all around us.

Thanks to my Sicilian-Lebanese heritage, I’ve been blessed with Mediterranean skin. It has served me well for 56 years—I have no wrinkles or fine lines to speak of, my skin is rarely dry, and it has an elasticity that would make Gumby proud. You do know that there’s a ‘however’ coming, right?

The downside of a skin type such as mine is excess oil that can lead to the occasional pimple, and a tendency toward clogged pores. As blessed as I am to have the skin I have, it nevertheless strikes me as unfair that at my age I still worry about blemishes. Now that’s a First World Problem if ever there was one.

Stress tends to trigger my breakouts; in August and September, with stress levels high, four pimples appeared like four badges of honor on my face. In addition, my skin looked dull and tired—probably because I was feeling dull and tired. Then two things occurred that brightened my outlook considerably.

First, I went on the Digest Diet in September and lost ten pounds. I’ve blogged about my weight loss journey (I’ve kept the weight off, too) and as I noted, one of the side benefits to the diet was a new-found clarity to my skin.

Second, I changed-up my skin care routine. I’d used Bliss products for years and liked them just fine, but my skin seems to have outgrown them. My face just wasn’t feeling clean or bright. As luck would have it, I was given an opportunity to try three products from Murad‘s Vitalic skin care line. Let me tell you a bit about Murad.

Dr. Howard Murad is the man behind the company. A board-certified dermatologist and a member of the American Academy of Dermatology, he has devised something called the “Science of Cellular Water,” which looks at the ability of cell membranes to retain water within cells as the fundamental marker of youthful good health. Dr. Murad combined this with an approach to skin care he calls “inclusive health.” It’s no surprise that my dieting, in tandem with Murad products, resulted in glowing skin: internal care is one of the three pillars of Dr. Murad’s plan, with the other two being topical skin care and sense of self.

I was doing aces in the internal care component, which, according to the Murad website, “maximizes the body’s healing capacity through choices in food … that ensure it has the building blocks it needs to produce strong, watertight cells.” Admittedly, I still need to find time for those “sense of self”—activities such as facials and massages that also help to reduce one’s level of cell-damaging stress.

Here’s how my path crossed with Murad products.

When I was at the BlogHer12 conference in New York City, I attended a fabulous party sponsored by BOOMBox Network. The B(L)OOMERS PARTY, as it was called, celebrated the theme of beauty and wisdom, and brought together, in one sophisticated location near Bryant Park, a whole flock of women who blog about midlife issues. (I have so much more to tell you about this event, but it will have to keep for a future post. For now, here’s a photo from the party.)

That’s me on the right; to my left is Carrie Tuhy, co-founder of the Second Lives Club.

Many of the party’s sponsors were eager to meet with us to show off their latest and greatest products, samples of which could be found in the swag bags we received. Murad was one company that immediately caught my eye. Our gift bags included a sample kit of their Resurgence line of skin care products, which are designed to address the signs of hormonal aging.

When I got home I gave the products a try, but I sensed—correctly—that they weren’t what my skin needed. When I wrote to the representative I’d met at the party to let her know, she told me that another product line might suit me better.

She sent me three different products to try from Murad’s Vitalic Line, which was created to even oily and dry zones, clear clogged pores, and keep combination skin like mine in balance. Here’s what I promised Murad: if I was pleased with the products, I would write a review. There was no expectation that I would do so; I could have tried the products, hated them, called it a day, and you’d be reading something else right now.

But that’s not what happened.

The pomegranate-kissed products in the Murad Vitalic line are exactly what I’ve been looking for. I absolutely love these products. I love the way my face feels after washing it with the Energizing Pomegranate cleanser. Besides having a pleasant fragrance—something akin to pink lemonade—the cleanser leaves my skin feeling freshly-scrubbed but not dry. One of its main ingredients is witch hazel, a botanical used to produce astringents. That’s one of the reasons I feel so clean after using this cleanser—the witch hazel actually removes the excess oil from my Mediterranean skin.

After washing my face and neck with the Pomegranate cleanser, I gently massage the T-Zone Pore Refining Gel over my face and neck. The packaging tells me that I can expect the retinol in this gel to help improve my skin texture, tone, and radiance; the glycolic and salicylic acids act as an exfoliant to help clear my pores and imperfections; and the pomegranate extract neutralizes and protects my skin against free radical damage. Now I studied biology, not chemistry, but I’m sure that indeed is what’s going on. The proof is in the mirror.

I think my skin looks great! Now if Murad has something to unpack those bags under my eyes….

The third-step is the moisturizer, which is oil free and contains broad spectrum SPF 15 protection—a nice added benefit. I don’t use this moisturizer near my eyes, however; in fact, I’m still using the Renewing Eye Cream from the Resurgence line for that area. I’d love it if Murad would manufacturer an eye-specific moisturizer in the Vitalic line—maybe something that can reduce the puffiness under my eyes. The other two products I have yet to try are the Energizing Pomegranate SPF 15 Lip Protector and a Pomegranate Exfoliating Mask. It’s been a long while since I’ve treated myself to a decent facial, so I plan on purchasing the mask and give myself one at home.

Most Murad products are available at Sephora. Murad also has a line of professional spa treatments; if you visit the spa locator on their website you can find out whether there’s a salon offering Murad near you.

Please let me know if you have any questions about this review, or about Murad products in general. My glowing skin and I are happy to help!

Do I have a point of view? Why yes. Yes I do. Thank you for asking. Today, Viewpoints, a consumer-review leader based in Chicago, has issued a press release announcing that they want my opinion. Here are the details: Yours truly, The Midlife Second Wife, is one of seven bloggers in the U.S. and Canada named to a panel that will test consumer products and then share with our respective audiences whether or not the new products are worth the bother and the buy. It’s a unique partnership, and it’s an honor to share the same patch of blogosphere with the other distinguished women on the panel, which, incidentally, is known as “The Viewpoint.” (Gee, maybe Barbara Walters of The View will ask “The Viewpoint” panel to come on her show!)

Know what else I love about this venture? Not only do I get to share with you my experiences in trying these new products, but I also will be donating the product to a charity of my choice once the testing is complete.

Here’s what Denise Chudy, Viewpoints’ general manager, has to say about the program:

“Viewpoints is thrilled to welcome these experienced and witty writers to help us create a more meaningful conversation about new household products. More and more consumers use online reviews to make their purchase decisions. These respected bloggers are perfect for the assignment, and we have ambitious plans.”

You can learn more about the Viewpoints panel below, and if you click on this link you can read the press release.

Let the testing begin!

The Viewpoint Panel

Lian Dolan, The Chaos Chronicles by Lian Dolan
Aside from being a successful blogger, Lian Dolan hosts an iTunes top-rated podcast for moms also called “The Chaos Chronicles.” Based in Pasadena, California, Lian is the parenting expert at oprah.com and author of the novel, Helen of Pasadena, an LA Times bestseller. Her motto is: “Embrace Your Chaos.”

Sheila Hill, Pieces of a Mom (because motherhood is a little bit of everything)
Sheila Hill started her blog in coastal New Jersey to keep faraway friends and family in the loop. She soon realized that she had a lot to say. From daily life to fun activities and day trips for kids to product reviews, “Pieces of a Mom” has evolved into much more than just a daily diary.

Sarah Mock, How I Pinch a Penny, Helping you save one penny at a time
Saving money is important. Sarah Mock’s family in Pennsylvania has cut back on many items, and she blogs about creative ideas for increasing value and reducing cost. She is also is proudly ‘green’ in that she recycles, composts, and buys local when possible.

Randi Chapnik Myers and Mara Shapiro, momfaze, the real scoop on raising teens
From Toronto, Randi Chapnik Myers and Mara Shapiro dish about the joys and challenges of parenting teens and tweens, from stalking kids’ Facebook pages to sharing their clothes to teaching them to stay safe – all while walking the tightrope between Mom and Friend. Frank, funny and honest, these two midlife moms aren’t shy about telling it like it is.

Jill Nystul, One Good Thing by Jillee, Sorting through the beautiful clutter of life to find that “One Good Thing” each day and sharing it with you!
Jill Nystul’s website is based on a simple promise — to deliver ‘one good thing’ to her readers everyday. Her background includes work as a Utah television journalist, and this blog is a return to her roots in that respect. Filled with practical tips and beautiful photos, she calls “One Good Thing by Jillee” her life-saving passion.

Marci Rich, The Midlife Second Wife, The Real and True Adventures of Remarriage at Life’s Midpoint
Marci Rich started her blog after discovering that there really is life after 40, after divorce and after cancer. Readers find inspiration, comfort and humor at “The Midlife Second Wife,” which she defines as “a literary lifestyle/relationship blog with recipes and a medical memoir.” A graduate of Oberlin College, Marci is also a special correspondent for the Richmond (VA) Times-Dispatch.

Kathy Zucker, METRO MOMS Network, Consulting Network + Biannual Expos + Magazine = Parenting & Career Answers
The “Metro Moms Network” is more than a blog. Kathy Zucker is founder of this one-stop shop to help families juggle career and parenting. From childcare solutions to expert advice to products that moms can’t live without, the “Metro Moms Network” is a valuable resource for New Jersey parents.