Prima donna, first lady on the stage, but don't you dare, apply or stare, at this law firm.

Do you need a job? Are you willing to work for a pompous jackass? Well, Craigslist (where else?) might have a job for you.

And if you are a lawyer in Austin, you might need a job. The Austin Business Journal reports that one of the city’s most prominent law firms, Clark Thomas & Winters, could be shutting down. They employ 160 people, so there could be some talent hitting the street in Austin.

The newly founded Bargas Law Firm is looking for talent. And even though they’re running around on Craigslist acting like they are God’s gift to junior attorneys, there could be some Texans out there desperate enough to throw in an application…

We are seeking a very talented, well-spoken, intelligent, motivated, hard-working individual to join our very successful firm. We are specifically seeking a 0-2 yr attorney because we want to cultivate you within the culture of our successful firm. We do not want anyone brining [sic] over bad habits from other firms, and we do not want anyone trying to educate us on how to do things. We are very comfortable with our business model and we are seeking a very special individual to join our team who will grow with us and eventually become a partner or shareholder.

It’s worth noting that this “very successful firm” was founded in January 2011. But whatever, there’s more fun to be had with this posting:

The successful candidate MUST possess excellent writing and speaking talents, joined with a pleasant attitude and a genuine desire to help those less fortunate. You must also be willing to begin as the lowest ranked person at the firm and have a desire and willingness to handle a variety of office tasks as assigned. No prima donas [sic] need apply. We all answer the phone as necessary here, we all meet with clients, we all travel and we all work incredibly long and hard hours. If this does not sound appealing to you please do not apply.

For what it’s worth — and I’m speaking from some experience here — prima donnas rarely know how to spell “prima donna.”

Oh, and if you think the ALL CAPS thing was just a one-off point of emphasis, you’d be dead wrong. Let’s go with a screen shot here, so we can experience the full effect of the posting:

I think it would be unseemly to continue to make jokes at this point. It would be kind of like injecting a patient with a needle after he pleaded with me to leave him alone. Sure, I can write well (legal stuff), but I don’t want to be the kind of person who sits here in my office overlooking the city and thinks that making jokes constitutes a conversation.

Of course, if you guys want to make jokes, there’s nothing I can do about that.

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