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While I’m writing this blog post I’ve got Michael Jackson dancing in my head from his post where the ravens would talk all that smack. My boy couldn’t win, and you can’t either, unless you change your mindset. (If you didn’t know, I am talking about the Wiz. smh)

Often when we think of self-esteem, we think it happens on an personal level and that nothing interferes with it. Believe it or not, self-esteem is a concept that must be taught and is taught unintentionally and intentionally. The unintentional teaching of self-esteem usually teaches us how to have the lowest self-esteem possible. As a teen, this is happening on a variety of levels in every environment they enter.

It is #minoritymentalhealthmonth!…Politics of respectability is a phrase that was coined by Evelyn Higgenbotham in 1993. The idea here, is that one monitors and presents oneself in an acceptable, pure, chaste, respectable, albeit Eurocentric, way.

For those who are not necessarily “in the know” the phrase Mind Your Business, is a verb, in which the person who has been told is expected to respect someone else’s private matters by refraining from being meddlesome, dropping their 2 cents (thought, opinions, or suggestions). This includes but is not limited to minding your own based on someone's appearance, attitude, situation(s), or other occurrences as defined by the giver of the statement either verbally, through text, or through body language (which includes but is not limited to putting up one hand in your direction, rolling their eyes, or turning away).

A clean house can be transformative to life. Not seeing clutter in our living areas can give us a whole new perspective of our homes. By creating super-easy habits, we can take away a lot of the stress that mess creates.

Cuffing season is coming to an end and so are a lot of relationships. Some of y'all didn’t want to be lonely for the New Year, Valentine's Day etc. and are getting around the breaking up with people that you thought could have been special and folk you knew weren’t. Either way, breaking up with someone is never easy and still can hurt. As a sex and relationship therapist in the Washington D.C. metro area, I see lots of people who are in transition: breaking up, getting back together, tryna fix it, etc. For now, we focus on breaking up and how to get through…

We are finally back to #SelfCare! It has been a while since the first post on this subject called SELF CARE: LEVEL 1 . But we are back at it again! If you remember the last one, or just read it for the first time, Physical self care was the first level. Some people may not understand why I made physical care level 1, but here are a few quick reasons: 1. Taking care of yourself physically comes most naturally for some people...i.e. Washing your booty, eating, sleeping, etc. For level one, I only asked you to evaluate and step your game up on something you likely already do daily. 2. Check out this link on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Basically, this tells says that in order for you to reach the highest potential for yourself, you must first meet your basic needs. Those basic needs start out with a need for sleep, water, food, air, and sex...or in other words, meeting physical needs. Some would say “sex” is not a basic need. I would disagree. Sex can be not only a biological imperative, but can also be a form of exercise and a way to achieve release. Also. I am not talking about what most folk think about when they see the word s-e-x. I am thinking about oral, vaginal, digit (finger), anal, and solo SEX. Basically, all the ways you could have sex, alone or with partner(s)….

It seems that with the start of the New Year, ALL the folk, especially Black Women, are more aware of their mental health. Even with all this supposed awareness, people aren’t sure what they are looking for or seem to be unclear on what “Mental Health” constitutes. Things people commonly say about therapy to me includes: “My problem isn’t important enough to speak to a therapist about” or “I don’t want to take up time from someone who *REALLY* needs therapy” or “I’m Black. Therapy is for white people.” This way of thinking and speaking allows people of color to talk themselves (and their loved ones) out of therapy before they have truly considered it. Let’s spend some time speaking about 3 Mental Health Myths. Then maybe we can have some honest discussion about our needs.