Sunday, 4 April 2010

Feline Conversion

As we all well know, cats, and especially kittens, are enemies of Satan's overarching plan to make the world a rubbish place to live, due to their apparent 'cuteness'. Obviously we are immune to such feelings and just regard them as a thorn in the side of our dark intentions. The only way to stop their rampage of holy mischeif is to baptise them for the Dark Lord, which somehow makes them evil. (the dark lord doesn't tell us much, we just do his bidding we don't ask questions alright?) One particularly cute and therefore powerful specimen is a kitten called 'Darcy'. Needless to say he was the first to feel the fiery warmth of Beelzebub's gaze.

Baptism in the middle of the road is a must. As obviously dark energy is strongest in the middle of roads, which is why people are so prone to swear at one another when driving.

After the conversion to the Dark One's bidding darcy changed his name to 'Dark See' which we all approved of, also his eyes went like pure black. It was fucked up. We don't have a photo of that though because he ran off, presumably with evil in mind.