Aaron After Dark — Premier Issue

Hello there, my name is Aaron Behner. I’m a professional bartender and recent transplant to the Gainesville area. I have worked in all manner of bars and drinking establishments in the last 15 years of my profession and I have seen some things that I can only label as commercial-free entertainment. I would like to share some of these, as well as some “off the beaten path” drink recipes and ideas.

Whatever your profession, you can’t tell me you haven’t had those customers that you just wanted to light on fire and put out with a fork. I’ve had plenty!

Let me set the scene…

I was working at a night club a few years back. It was a ladies night right in the middle of our busy season, and the club was packed. The bar was 3 deep with early to mid 20’s party animals jostling for a position to grab their choice of kryptonite. One guy elbows his way to the bar followed by 3 female he is obviously trying to impress.

It was that guy. The annoying one who yells. Taps his glass. Snaps his fingers. Demands to be taken care of first. Doesn’t tip. Ever! It was his 4th or 5th trip to the bar and I guess he had enough liquid courage in him to wrangle up a few ladies to impress. Here we go.

“Yo! Bartender! 4 shots!”

“Yep, whatcha got in mind?”

“Jager bombs!” Shouts the guy triumphantly. The ladies giggle.

“You got it, boss,” I said and poured the shots. “Twenty eight bucks, boss.” I said, already half-knowing the outcome.

“But all I have is twelve dollars and I thought the ladies drank for free!?!” he half shouted, half cried. He knew what he was doing. Oh, he knew the score alright.

Keep in mind, it’s hot, and it’s late, and I already don’t much like this guy who is trying to screw me over, and NO ONE in the club is thirstier than I am at this perfect moment.

I picked up the first shot and downed it. Then the next. And the next. and the next, all in rapid succession. Jager bombs back to back to back to back, all while this guy is slack jawed and his female companions are wide eyed with disbelief.

The last glass hit the bar; I raised one finger and yelled, “Now OUT!”

Security promptly scooped him up and whisked him away, all the while the girls stared in disbelief.

7 minutes later I felt a lot better!

Just one of many experiences I’ve had in the last decade and a half.

Now for some drink ideas while it’s still a hot summer. Vodka has always been a good lite liquor for mixing cocktails, either by the pool or around the house with a few friends. The problem is there are a million flavors out there and who wants to buy 10 bottles for variety?

There is an easy solution. I buy a decent bottle of vodka, Smirnoff, Stolli, or one of my favorites, Russian Standard, and then buy every different flavor of Mio I can get my hands on. Mix over ice and water, and presto!

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