Monday, December 20, 2010

Q: Last week, when coming out of the grocery store, I stopped to help an elderly man lift his groceries in the trunk of his car. He started talking and I couldn't help but listen as he explained that his wife of 48 years had recently died. He said he hadn't been the best of husband's but that came home to him when going through his wife's things. Back in the closet he found a box. Inside, a dress was neatly folded. He didn't remember the dress, he said, or even the date written on a yellowed sheet of paper laying on top. "December 20, 1959. I wore this dress to the Sanford Christmas part and David said I looked beautiful." With tears shimmering in his eyes, he told me he didn't remember telling his wife that she was beautiful. In fact, he was sure he hadn't paid her enough loving attention for most of their marriage, and now he regretted that every day. I can't get the man out of my mind. I've tried to think of the last time my husband told me I was beautiful or when I last complimented him. How can I get it across that our time on Earth is finite, and we should appreciate every second with the ones we love?

Anne: What a touching and beautiful story. Of course, you can always tell him you love him, but what about finding new ways to say it? Cook or bake something he loves once a week. Tuck notes in his lunch that let him know you're thinking of him. Plan a day to do whatever he wants—even if it's nothing, or watching a ballgame on TV. Hold his hand. Smile. Flirt. I hope whatever you do works.

Dee: Well, of course I also thought of doing things he likes but my mind ran in a different direction. Fix a dinner he likes—and include an aphrodisiac, like oysters or chocolate. Plan an evening out to somewhere he wants to go—and let him know you're not wearing panties. Hold his hand—and when you're in a private spot (or semi-private?), place it over your breast. Or put your hand over his cock beneath the drape of a tablecloth. Give him a blowjob when he's least expecting it. Buy something new and special at Adam and Eve, or if you're able, plan a weekend to a Sybaris resort. Telling him that you should appreciate your time together is always more special with a little fucking to frost the cake. Have fun getting your message across!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Q: I just finished my undergraduate degree and have a unique opportunity to travel through Europe for six months with a good friend who speaks several languages and knows the various countries. It's the chance of a lifetime. The trouble is, my friend is a guy, Herb. My fiancé, Robert, doesn't understand that Herb and I are just friends. He is insisting that if I take the trip I might as well not come back planning to marry him. I love Robert, but I know I will never be able to travel like this again. Work will drag me down and then Robert and I will be married and he wants kids right away. Once we start a family I'll never break away. Any ideas on how I can convince Robert that I do love Herb—but only as a friend and that there's nothing wrong with sharing a trip with him? Herb is paying for all the accommodations and travel once we're on the Continent—all I have to do is get myself there and pay for my food. How can I pass this up?

Anne: Are you sure Herb thinks of you as only a friend? I don't know, but to me it seems a little strange to ask a woman on a trip, especially since he is handling hotel concerns. As for Robert, I think he might be over-reacting a bit, but I don't think I'd be happy to have my fiancé traveling for six months with a friend of the opposite gender. Chance of a lifetime is right, but you'd better consider which lifetime you want to live. This trip is for six months but haven't you decided that Robert is the next many years?

Dee: My advice? Tell Robert to screw himself and then fuck Herb from Dublin to Moscow. Hell, if you decide to give in to Robert, give Herb my number—I'd go off for a six month trip virtually paid for by someone else.

The thing I noticed was your wording. Work will drag me down and then I'll be married. Quite a combination of thoughts. Then you said once you start a family you won't break away. If that's the way you really think of things, you aren't ready to be engaged or married. Tell Robert au revoir, adios, auf wiedersehen and take advantage of Herb's generosity. And if he wants to take advantage of more, you might find you don't mind spreading your legs for a "good friend" within view of the London Tower, the Coliseum, the Eiffel Tower, the Danube, and so on. You go, girl!

Monday, December 6, 2010

Q: I want a diamond for Christmas in the worst way. I'm in my mid-20s and have been dating the same man for nine months. I love him and I think we are perfect together. I mean, everything about him is wonderful—he has a good job with great pay, he's handsome and he likes taking me out to great places. He's always buying me things and saying he wants to make me happy. And I am! Needless to say, the sex is fantastic. He's always ready to try new things and has taken me on sexual fantasies I didn't know I had. I tell him that every time he gives me a new present, I will give him a new treat in bed. So far the presents have been coming in and I've dug through sex books to come up with his rewards (he especially loves my blowjobs in unusual positions!). But now I want the real thing—a ring, a wedding and a piece of paper that says he's mine. What can do in these last weeks before Christmas to clinch the deal?

Anne: It sounds as though you're taken with him, but I wonder if it's for the right reasons. You don't say anything about him—his character, his soul. All you mention are material things. Maybe you should take a step back and ask yourself why you're trying to "clinch the deal" instead of share a personal life with the man that goes beyond gifts and sex.

Dee: There's a word for women who have sex in exchange for money or gifts. Not to say that's you, but… Well, maybe I am saying that's you. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Hey, your guy's a willing participant in all this. But he sounds as though he's happy showering you with gifts as long as he can stick you with his big one and maneuver through some new position once a week or so. You're wanting to change the rules of the game, and to me it sounds as though the reason is to secure that community property. Again, nothing wrong with that—a girl needs some security when those Kama Sutra tangles are no longer possible. Because, Lady, even if you should get that diamond, I don't see this as a long-term relationship. I don't think your guy does, either.

My advice? Keep up your looks and stay limber. Take all the gifts this guy is willing to give and then move on to the next guy who is willing to fuck in exchange for a few trinkets. If that's your idea of a relationship, there are always men willing to play along. But that's all it will be. Maybe you can ask your current boyfriend for references when he's ready to call it quits. The good news? In this rotten economy, you've found a job that actually pays, and pays pretty well. Good going!

About Us

Dee and Anne are two sides of the same romance author. Dee is sweaty-sheet, romp-in-the-hay sex. Anne blushes at such stuff. We both write emotional, often fun, always loving romance you can get lost in, though.
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