Week 15: Through the Looking-Glass

Queen Alice

Reading
time: 5 minutes. Word count: 900 words.

Alice is now a Queen, and the Red Queen and White Queen are also there waiting
for her - and they are just as annoying as ever!

'Well, this IS grand!' said Alice. 'I never
expected I should be a Queen so soon -- and I'll tell you what it is, your
majesty,' she went on in a severe tone (she was always rather fond of scolding
herself), 'it'll never do for you to be lolling about on the grass like that!
Queens have to be dignified, you know!'

So she got up and walked about -- rather stiffly just at first,
as she was afraid that the crown might come off: but she comforted herself with
the thought that there was nobody to see her, 'and if I really am a Queen,'
she said as she sat down again, 'I shall be able to manage it quite well in
time.'

Everything was happening so oddly that she didn't feel a bit
surprised at finding the Red Queen and the White Queen sitting close to her,
one on each side: she would have liked very much to ask them how they came there,
but she feared it would not be quite civil. However, there would be no harm,
she thought, in asking if the game was over. 'Please, would you tell me -- ' she
began, looking timidly at the Red Queen.

'Speak when you're spoken to!' The Queen sharply interrupted
her.

'But if everybody obeyed that rule,' said Alice, who was always
ready for a little argument, 'and if you only spoke when you were spoken to,
and the other person always waited for YOU to begin, you see nobody would ever
say anything, so that -- '

'Ridiculous!' cried the Queen. 'Why, don't you see, child -- '
here she broke off with a frown, and, after thinking for a minute, suddenly
changed the subject of the conversation. 'What do you mean by "If you really
are a Queen"? What right have you to call yourself so? You can't be a Queen,
you know, till you've passed the proper examination. And the sooner we begin
it, the better.'

'I only said "if"!' poor Alice pleaded in a piteous
tone.

The two Queens looked at each other, and the Red Queen remarked,
with a little shudder, 'She SAYS she only said "if" -- '

'But she said a great deal more than that!' the White Queen
moaned, wringing her hands. 'Oh, ever so much more than that!'

'So you did, you know,' the Red Queen said to Alice. 'Always
speak the truth -- think before you speak -- and write it down afterwards.'

'That's just what I complain of! You SHOULD have meant! What
do you suppose is the use of a child without any meaning? Even a joke should
have some meaning -- and a child's more important than a joke, I hope. You
couldn't deny that, even if you tried with both hands.'

'I don't deny things with my HANDS,' Alice objected.

'Nobody said you did,' said the Red Queen. 'I said you couldn't
if you tried.'

'She's in that state of mind,' said the White Queen, 'that
she wants to deny SOMETHING -- only she doesn't know what to deny!'

'A nasty, vicious temper,' the Red Queen remarked; and then
there was an uncomfortable silence for a minute or two.

The Red Queen broke the silence by saying to the White Queen,
'I invite you to Alice's dinner-party this afternoon.'

The White Queen smiled feebly, and said 'And I invite YOU.'

'I didn't know I was to have a party at all,' said Alice; 'but
if there is to be one, I think I ought to invite the guests.'

'We gave you the opportunity of doing it,' the Red Queen remarked:
'but I daresay you've not had many lessons in manners yet?'

'Manners are not taught in lessons,' said Alice. 'Lessons teach
you to do sums, and things of that sort.'

'And you do Addition?' the White Queen asked. 'What's one and
one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one?'

'I don't know,' said Alice. 'I lost count.'

'She can't do Addition,' the Red Queen interrupted. 'Can you
do Subtraction? Take nine from eight.'

'She can't do Subtraction,' said the White Queen. 'Can you
do Division? Divide a loaf by a knife -- what's the answer to that?'

'I suppose -- ' Alice was beginning, but the Red Queen answered
for her. 'Bread-and-butter, of course. Try another Subtraction sum. Take a bone
from a dog: what remains?' Alice considered. 'The bone wouldn't remain, of course,
if I took it -- and the dog wouldn't remain; it would come to bite me -- and I'm
sure I shouldn't remain!'

'Then you think nothing would remain?' said the Red Queen.

'I think that's the answer.'

'Wrong, as usual,' said the Red Queen: 'the dog's temper would
remain.'

Modern Languages
MLLL-2003. World Literature: Frametales. Laura Gibbs, Ph.D.
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Page last updated:
October 9, 2004 12:48 PM