Cast of Ancient Aliens

The show Ancient Aliens is freaking ridiculous. It's the worst kind of "science" you can find, but I love watching anyway. The best thing about the show is the wacky cast of "experts." So, here's a few that I enjoy.

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Erich von Daniken.

This is the man who started it all. He wrote the book "Chariots of the Gods?" in 1968. Oddly enough, that's the same year 2001: A Space Odyssey came out. The movie hinted at a similar idea. Aliens visited Earth in the past and guided humanity's evolution. Von Daniken is a dodgy snake oil salesman type. He tosses out ideas with no real proof, then when called on his BS he claims he's just making suggestions. But his enthusiasm for his crap is thrilling to watch.

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Giorgio A. Tsoukalos.

The energy. The weird accent. The hair. What's not to love about this guy? Is he batshit crazy? Yeah. So!? He loves what he does. You can't help feeding off the frenzied wackadoodle energy vortex emitting from him. He's a Swiss-born Greek-Austrian (that helps explain the accent) with a degree in sports information and communication. Well, I guess if believing crazy crackpot alien theories is a sport, he's truly our greatest athlete.

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David Hatcher Childress.

This guy thinks of himself as a "rogue archaeologist." In other words, he's not one, at all. His favorite thing is asking questions with no reason and then not answering them. He will often say "you have to wonder..." followed by an absurd statement. He also has a strange way of pronouncing vowels. He says the word "kind" as "koinnd" and it really bothers me. "You have to wonder if some koinnnd of...."

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William J. Birnes.

This guy is just plain weaselly. He's omnipresent in the UFO TV land. His odd quirk is blinking way too hard. It's probably his brain trying to stop his mouth from saying sillier and sillier things. He claims that the Apollo 13 incident was actually an extraterrestrial attack meant to scare humans away from landing on the Moon.

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Linda Moulton Howe.

This lady has no clue about science or physics, but loves to blather on as if she does. She dresses like a southwestern fortune teller. She's best known for her "reporting" about cattle mutilations. She thinks aliens are using highly sophisticated lasers to chop up cows. Yeah.

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Mike Bara.

Bara is a very squirrelly dude. He seems agitated perpetually. He claims to be an aeronautics expert, but he also thinks he sees structures on the moon. His "evidence" of megastructures on the moon is as flimsy as you can imagine. He's circled spots in old black and white Apollo images and said "see that grainy spot there? Alien building!"

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David Wilcock.

This guy's hair is the reverse of Tsoukalos. Instead of being dark and growing up, it's blonde and growing down. Honestly, this guy may be the most insane of the entire group. He believes he might be the reincarnation of the mystic Edgar Cayce. He thinks there's mystical, magical energy everywhere. I'm pretty sure it's the energy of pure lunacy that he's picking up.