Real advice from real people

“My friend is too demanding”

I’m a pushover that was pressured into sex with a very demanding friend that lives in a different city. He belittles me (saying things like “you need someone to take care of you’), doesn’t share my interests, and handles situations with zero tact (which annoys the hell out of me.) He’s embarrassed me many times. Plus the sex is bad.

He visits twice a year and to my dismay, we share a bed. He is planning on moving to my city in a year and I want to set boundaries. We have been friends for over ten years and I’d like to keep him in the background without the intimacy. He makes me laugh and we share a group of friends. I need to be careful because this man is vindictive, loud, and bitchy (somebody I wouldn’t want as an enemy.)

Can this relationship return to its platonic state? Do I tell him I don’t want the romance? Do I just phase him out? Cut him out of my life cold turkey? Help!

Hey dear, if you say no and he is still trying to coerce you – it sounds a bit predatory and rape like. You shouldn’t have to give in to someone unless you want to. The pressure isn’t necessary and it can really take a toll on your mental health. You can choose to keep this person in your life but please remember that your feelings matter and you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.