My name was Sasha Clausvonova. I was a medical doctor specializing in aviation medicine working for a top secret space project. In a few short days I saw every woman co-worker captured by alien attackers and made into mindless, heartless robotic monsters bent only on destruction. Then when no one else remained came my turn.

I have had parts of my brain replaced by crystals tied into a complex crystalline control matrix throughout my torso which diverts my nervous system into a powerful beam weapon. I also have had my skin made into exo-dermal armor which protects me from projectile weapons short of an anti-tank missile. My skin is still supple and appears quite normal but my torso has to remain bare for proper interface of the control matrixes. I am a robofemoid. My name now is Femoid-SASH.

From Hank (I called in a favor)

My name is Hank. Yes, I know what you think. That’s not an acronym or anything it’s my name. I am a Grey Guy, a generic human. Long time ago somebody wanted an interchangeable human for organ repair and general servitude. So we’re grey. Now my former boss Bob circulated this paper about how to make a human into a mindless, armored, laser armed, death machine. Turned out only women could be converted. Cool with me I like breasts. Confidentially though I like small ones, not huge like Bill or Bob. Did I mention the torso has to remain bare for “proper crystal interface”? Cool huh? So all bare breasts, all the time.

Once upon a time Greyguys rebelled against the whole slave thing. We roam the systems now and kidnap people and line up blinking lights and mess with them but always taking off their clothes. That really upsets most people except Aordians. Sanctimonious Aordians spouting their advanced morality which sees no stigma in nudity. They got the best looking women in the galaxy, so I guess they don’t mind flaunting it.

So now Bob is dead the Russian thing worked, we made the robofemoids but now we’re out in space because earth got too hot.Nuclear blast hot. Burned off that unitard we aliens wear as some kind of trope thing. Anyway I prefer a baseball cap and a pair of jeans. So now we’re with Grey Gals. Dominant gender in most societies across the galaxy is female. They say jump, you ask how high. They chase after you and buy you drinks. Except they want what they want when they want it and the rest of the time, anything you want, that’s just too bad.

So now we strip more for conversion and are making more robofemoids to get them better and perfect the process and program. Right, so when it’s all said and done what then? We sell it. Plenty of planets will want this process. You grab somebody, play with some blinking lights and set them loose to blow stuff up. That’ll shake up stuff in the galaxy and in the meantime I got a Grey gal who likes me. Whoo-hoo. And all I did was say hi and show up with a bottle of champagne!

Bravo's recorded reading for Hank was inspiring! It's inspired me to think about doing a recording for my other big character Ace Kinkaid… Maybe even Cc too!We don't really have that many contributions here, so why not include other characters? ^_^

Ace Kinkaid says:

Howdy. The name's Ace Kinkaid.At the moment I'm in a life and death mech fight with this wily Pink haired freak who just won't give up! I'm thinking it's about time for her to die…Things seemed so straight forward and easy… well maybe not entirely straight forward, but it should have been easy. All I had to do was play along with Pinky till I could double-cross her safely, get the Buddha, then deliver it and the mechs to the British for big bucks!But things didn't go as planned. My contact in the transport caravan was nowhere to be seen! If he HAD been, I'd have been done right there, but noooo… Then when it looks like things are finally starting to go right and I'm getting away clean, that mad woman escapes and blows the crap outta my tromper!Well, I'm gonna show her.

Cc says:

I'm Cynthia Crow. Cc is a more efficient name however so I use that instead. Pinky, Pinky, Pinky… I just don't think she gets it, you know? I don't fight for peace, I fight for the Empire. The Crimean Empire must be victorious, no matter the cost. Pinky is simple, all she cares about is minimising casualties, saving lives, sparing civilians… she can't make the hard choices. I can and I shall. You sacrifice pawns for greater advantage later on in the game, that's their purpose. Pinky makes a good pawn.

Putrid Meat: “i'm Gretchen, the deposed queen of Septica, but not for long… When Exis came to Septica and stripped my husband, Felix of his power, he stole my son's future. My little Zeusy is such a beautiful,bright boy! who could do such a thing?my husband, Felix, is dead, and that red headed boy, Bones, left to kill Exis. but he's dissapeared and Exis is still very much alive. a GOOD man is so hard to find these days. it's starting to look like i'll need to take things into my OWN hands. dont worry my little Zeusy…MOMMY'll take care of you…”

“hey! gimme that mic,Oz! scoot over. awright, I'm Bones n'that's bullshit! where does she think i am,on vacation? yeah i tried to scrag Exis n hell, i'm about to try again, soon as i can manage t'get on the same side of the PLANET that he's on at least. after th'attack, he ‘shipped m’ass off to some brainwashin lab. he only managed it cuz he sicked a fuckin land walkin Megaladon after me. ‘s hard to kill someone when yer dettached from your legs, but WATCH me, i’ll manage, and it'll be the coolest shit YOU'LL ever see in yer life. off'a my BACK,Gretchen, dontcha got some diapers to change or somethin?”

“I'm Exis and i just have to cut in here for a moment. i'm afraid there's just been a little bit of a MISUNDERSTANDING here. see, Neither Bones OR Gretchen have anything to fear from me. i'm a peaceful, benevolent leader. they're just in…a bit of SHOCK. that's all. some time to adjust and see things MY way will help ease them into a better, much more….TRANQUIL li—what? what do you mean Bones's escaped?! OFF you'r ass, Warhead and BRING me his HEAD!!…..anyways as i was saying, a much more tranquil way of life.”

Good people sufferA great evil roams uncheckedIn time she’ll fix that.

Series intro:

“I believe heroes are those who do more good than can be expected of them. Like my brother, who tried to ease people’s suffering in areas devastated by wars and unchecked greed. I admired him, because it was something I could never have done. I am Aria Conti, and I work for the United Nations mine action program. My line of work comes with meeting those people who are directly responsible for the evils my brother had faced. Powerful people, who destroy lives for a living. Dealing with them in my position at the UN always involves compromising. So I created a persona that wouldn’t have to compromise – Bombshell. Whether that makes me more of a hero, or more of a terrorist – you decide.So, how do I go about fixing the world? Well, I do have this prosthetic metal hand that can easily overpower your average thug, but – I’m not exactly in the business of disarming bankrobbers. And you don’t have to be a world-class athlete or martial arts expert to overpower Silvio Berlusconi or Donald Rumsfeld. On the other hand, you can’t possibly be well-trained enough to outmatch the means guys like these have at their disposal. Strength doesn’t really figure into this. So while I probably could give a room full of Wall Street bozos a run for their money, the plan is to use and subvert what’s already there. Well, I can’t tell you too much about that… yet. You’ll see. In the meantime, I might have to do more of this superhero stuff than I signed up for…”

Notes for skoolmunkee:

I’m glad you agreed to do the voice, and I’m sure you will do a great job! I’m not overly protective of my characters, and I always enjoy different interpretations, so just go with what seems right to you. In case you’d like to have some input, here are my thoughts:She is originally Italian, but in order to protect her identity she has trained herself not to show it. So there might or might not be something of the melodic (or operatic) quality associated with Italian linger in the way she talks – in any case, it would be rather subtle and overwritten by her time in New York. More importantly, she has a certain determination and ego that comes with both her job and the fact that she believes her mission to be very important. She is used to talking in front of people, and to be in situations where she has to convince and impress her audience. In this case, since she is talking about something personal, she might be a bit more sympathetic than in any of the speeches she usually gives. The text above goes from beliefs that are intertwined with deeply personal biographic facts, to a sort of calculated strategy, and ends on a lighter note, so the performance might reflect that.

bravo1102 wrote:PIT_FACE wrote:..inspire us to show ya how it REALLY should be done. hyuk hyuk hyuk…. … And then beat me over the head until I get it right. I have a largely empty head, you have to hit it just right to get me to understand things.

PIT_FACE wrote:..inspire us to show ya how it REALLY should be done. hyuk hyuk hyuk…. … And then beat me over the head until I get it right. I have a largely empty head, you have to hit it just right to get me to understand things.

Ah so it's an issue of reverberation then. :P

Yes precisely and my wife is good at getting my head to just the right tone with a look. It's a harmonic thing. Needless to say I never go on the internet when she's around.

Ok, I've changed the title to 94 now. Next week is the Tantz and Pit-face burlesque show. All very tasteful I can assure you! And their costumes are divine… How Pitface walks in 8 inch heels I'll NEVER know, and where on earth did Tantz find all those feathers? Must have gone through a whole herd of ostriches… With that rare machine-gun of her's.

Back to the subject at hand then!- This won't be recorded till Friday the 7th of September so you have more time to get your text pieces and or voice recordings in!I'm lookin' at all you guys who've just done Haikus and no character pieces!

Also, if anyone is interested in doing ongoing short pieces for their characters each week or each couple of weeks I'm more than happy to stick those in the Quackcast- It helps promote your comic and get your work out there, which is 100% what the Quackcast is for!-As well as being cool and entertaining for people to listen to!

ongoing character pieces? you bet yer ass,oz!as a matter of fact, Herr Achziger was just commenting to me how he thinks Tantz and Pit-Face's quackcast sound like it will be “quite invormative und ein utmost zuccess.”

I’m glad you agreed to do the voice, and I’m sure you will do a great job! I’m not overly protective of my characters, and I always enjoy different interpretations, so just go with what seems right to you. In case you’d like to have some input, here are my thoughts:She is originally Italian, but in order to protect her identity she has trained herself not to show it. So there might or might not be something of the melodic (or operatic) quality associated with Italian linger in the way she talks – in any case, it would be rather subtle and overwritten by her time in New York. More importantly, she has a certain determination and ego that comes with both her job and the fact that she believes her mission to be very important. She is used to talking in front of people, and to be in situations where she has to convince and impress her audience. In this case, since she is talking about something personal, she might be a bit more sympathetic than in any of the speeches she usually gives. The text above goes from beliefs that are intertwined with deeply personal biographic facts, to a sort of calculated strategy, and ends on a lighter note, so the performance might reflect that.

ozoneocean wrote:I'm lookin' at all you guys who've just done Haikus and no character pieces!

Despite being able to write with absolute accuracy what Batman would be like when he is old, for some reason I can't think of how he would describe a comic about that. I think it's because I feel like he probably wouldn't, he'd just be like “it's a comic someone has made, read it, or don't.” Maybe that's my blurb.