Hello lovely people :] I am a new member of the cup club, so to speak, and I’m happy to be able to talk to so many nice people, as I’ve seen of you while lurking for quite a bit. Had some trouble with my first cup, which I’ll hide under a cut as it is more than a bit long!

The background hoopla: I first got interested in cups I think in my early twenties, but at that point I figured I’d never manage, having troubles with tampons as it was. Recently though I’ve gotten into cloth pads (which had also minorly sparked my interest years ago) although I only have one pantiliner to my name, and several in the mail on route, heh. But of course, one fits nicely with the other, so this time I went for it and got myself a cup.

The physical bits: Being in my early thirties now, I’ve started toying (no partner) so that I’ve gotten more comfortable with the idea of stuff in my vagina and touching myself, and even tampons are more bothersome than painful. So I wasn’t as scared of a cup as before, though I had to choose one of the more common ‘beginner’ones without really REALLY considering everything. I had thought wrongly that my cervix was about midway, but checking assured me it actually sits too high for me to feel, at least off my period. But then, it seems the best way to find a goldilocks cup is to just get something and go from there, right? I’m 5’0” and rather heavy if that alters anything.

The challenge: I purchased a small clear Si Bell cup from www.coppetta-mestruale.it and it arrived a good week earlier than I hoped. So it was time for a dry run! Had a foot up on the tub. I tried the punch down and half diamond fold initially, but as I was excited and rushing, had to suffice for the labia fold which meant I didn’t have to have my fingers inside at the same time because I was tensing a little from the hurry. I managed to get it in that third try, and though I didn’t exactly feel it pop open, it might have, being that I felt SOMETHING indeed. Almost like passing a large clot or just generally quite a bit of blood like when you sneeze. I left the bathroom and felt a minor form of that, then again when I sat down, which I assume is the cup shifting or an air pocket moving out? This continued a few times for a couple of minutes.

Was a bit sore, though I couldn’t feel the cup or the stem. It almost felt like I just took out a half-dry tampon, so I’m waiting for that feeling to soothe itself before I try withdrawing the darn thing. Maybe like a faint cramp sensation, but easy enough to ignore. As it is, I’m not all that sure if it’s high enough since my fingers weren’t able to guide it inside my body, only a fraction past the entrance before I lost my grip. Wondering if it would still work if it was set low like those manufacturing instructions, or am I going to have to get it up higher? Also wondering if it was sitting low or high after all...

Ended up taking it out about an hour later, as I guess I didn’t really have it high enough since later I could really feel the stem drop lower and bug me. I guess I wasn’t really relaxed eough to put in two fingers at the same time, and had to resort to pulling it out gently by the stem. I certainly felt it plop out, but somehow it hurt less than being insterted in a folded manner. But since I didn’t have to otherwise release suction, I guess it wasn’t in the right place?

The part 2: Tried again, and could not get the labia fold to work. Not sure if my arms are too short or I don’t have enough flexibility in my hands, but I couldn’t push it enough past my entrance, and twice it opened along the narrowest part. Ouchie. Took a breather and tried the 7 fold. This one made it in the already sore area, but then I had to readjust by tugging the stem and poking the bottom since it had ended up somewhat sideways. Had to do this laying on the ground with legs in the air because I think I need to concentrate more on how to work it in properly before I worry about doing it in a public toilet standing up or whatnot. Was still not able to get more than one finger in at a time, ugh. Felt a little bit of pain, but I think it’s from how I roughed myself up rather than the cup’s current position.

About two hours later, I was feeling some increasing cramping, as if I was on my period. Ugh. Pretended to be a turtle again and this time used some lube on my fingers (specifically for silicone toys, so I figure safe for silicone cup) and just tried to push and tug a little bit. Felt a little better... until I stood up. Cramps returned, and stem is poking at me funny now. Double ugh, but maybe it’s just adapatation, so I let it be.

Another two hours later and the bottom isn’t painful and the stem is only slightly bothersome, but cramps have stayed rather unpleasant overall, though they may have lessened a few times here and there. Tried sitting on toilet which turned into a hovering position to remove. I don’t know why that fleshy part that feels like maybe the first centimeter in is REALLY sensitive. I could get one finger in and tried C-folding the cup, but it didn’t keep as it was too slick to drag down. Tried to put my thumb in, but I think the angle caused major pain. Used the stem again until it was almost out and tried using index finger to make a C, but found it had mercifully done so on it’s own (or...had it never opened fully? *sigh*) and it popped out. Again, not even close to as painful as it is going in.

The end: So, any tips that I might use in particular? Is this just part of the learning curve or am I really doing something wrong? Could this possibly be a really bad cup for me? And finally, should I bother doing more dry runs to practice, or wait another week or two for my next period to try it then?

Head on over to the Community FAQ. There are posts there that will answer nearly everything you've asked. Yeah, dry runs are helpful to get comfortable with insertion and removal but they are also notoriously... dry. Irritation can be a factor. Also, there's really no way for sure to be able to tell that you got the cup into the right place.

Check out the Answers to Common Questions, Getting Soft Cups to Pop, the one about Myths and the ones with pictures of common folds.

Don't rush yourself. You seem to be trying too hard, too fast. Probably from sheer enthousiasm, but you're making yourself sore. Other than that, you're actually doing pretty well and the problems that you are experiencing are part of the learning curve.

The best thing you can do now is slow down, take a breather, probably do not try any more dry runs right now. They may not even be all that useful since things are different when your period arrives, and most likely, easier.