I should have definitely declined the title if I saw it as most do! When a gentleman logs onto the website, he thinks, "I will absorb everything that is Don Juan...

Quote:

Don Juan! What is he? What ought he to do? All we know is the word catches all our imaginations, all our dreams, as we envision him, clad in black, macking the girls from all points in sight. Oh, that Don Juan! He does everything perfect! with the ladies! If only we could absorb all techniques, all fashions, all behaviors, and engage with no fear, all the ladies will be ours!"

This viewpoint is so prevalent and dominant, I now understand why some people are GLUED to this forum! Perhaps there is a way to scrape us off our 'reading materials' once and for all.

The Perfect Player...

My roommate and I were watching one of those dating shows (I forget which). Two guys were competing for the ladies. One was a super player who was saying all the right things and getting physical with them. The other guy was a super horny dude that was loud, making crude comments, and literally humping the chicks.

My roommate was in awe of the player. “That guy rules! He is playing both of them. He is kissing both of them!” The other guy, in the pool, was humping the water jets and jumping around. The ladies said about him, “It is like a date with a 2 year old!” The player dude was feeling quite secure when the ladies would say, “Thank goodness I am with you. That guy is complete nuts!”

When it came time for the choosing, however, my roommate and I differed on whom the chicks would choose. “The player dude, obviously. He was PERFECT.” But I knew better. “What! No, no, the girls are going to go for the super horny guy.” My roommate thought I was nuts.

When the girls chose though, the player dude, Mr. Alpha Male, ended up all alone while the girls chose the horny dude. “I DON’T BELIEVE IT!” my roommate cracked.

Perfect is boring but to be Human is Beautiful.

The Player LOST to the horny dude because even though the Player Dude did THE RIGHT THINGS to the ladies, he was still boring. The horny dude had more personality than the Player in every encounter.

“But Pook! I do not get it!”

A creative director from Hollywood told me this,

“Look at the REAL stars that EVERYONE LOVES. Are these people the perfect model types that grace magazine covers? NO. They all have huge eccentrices of their own.” In other words, Schwarzenegger is no Shakespearean Actor. I think the only other character that hasn’t talked as much in movies would be Lassie.

Take the successful lawyer who goes to the gym all the time. BORING. What is Human about him? One thing I didn’t realize: if you strive towards perfection, chicks are going to expect you to be ‘perfect’.

We must fall in order to rise. The little goodie who strives to be perfect in all his manners with everyone is going to be surpassed by the guy who lets his eccentricities rise in his dealings.

Perfection is boring. To be Human is Beautiful.

Modeling! You think modeling is about perfection? “Yes, Pook. I believe it is.” Sure, there are standards. But anyone can play the role of a mannequin. Even in modeling, there is heavy emphasis on penetrating the lens, to ‘be Human’ so to say, to slip your personality throughout.

Music! What? You think music, that divine grace that is the perfect union of art and math, is to be ‘perfect’? When you learn an instrument, there is much emphasis on tone, scales, notes, and rhythms. When you play in a symphony or band, you obviously let the director place you in your role. You could practice for DECADES and be PERFECT at playing songs yet be totally BORING. What makes the truly sensational players are the ones who put fun into the instrument, and fun ends up coming out of the instrument. If you take a player who is going at it with a sense of play, of thrill, of joy itself, a missed tone or a note off beat is not even heard. Compare that guy to the ‘perfect player’ and the player with thrill will always, always win.(To you guys still scared about dating and all, consider this: put fun into the woman and fun comes out. Put happiness into the woman and happiness comes out. What do you try to do instead? Do you try to be so 'perfect' that she will go crazy over you? Where a Nice Guy uses flowers, you use flowery acts. Unfortunately, you’ll find that vaginas are not laced with gold.)

Writing! Look at the finest writers in history. Shakespeare is bawdy. Milton goes into full egotistical mode. Even some of ****ens’s works seem incomprehensible. If you consider the so called ‘perfect’ works to those, they don’t compare. Take your professors who write these so called ‘brilliant’ academic books that no one reads. People do not admire brilliance; they do not admire technical perfection. People admire the Humanity, the personality, found in works. People do not admire Napoleon for his military and artillery genius. They admire him because he had the audacity to say on a corpse filled battleground, “All these men will be replaced by a single night in Paris.”

Popularity! Take any politician. What do they try to do? Why, they try to be PERFECT in your eyes. They speak to you as if you are a four year old, using focus grouped sayings and canned generalizations. The result is that every politician gets viewed as the same, are all boring. Which politicians are remembered? It is the one not with ‘failings’ but with a humanity of their own. Now look from women’s eyes. All these men try to be ‘perfect’ to the ladies so they all come off as BORING. A ‘humanized’ guy, no matter what his failing, is always more desirable than a PERFECT Nice Guy, super intellectual, or dried up player.

Why does ‘perfection’ fail with the ladies? Because when you strive to be ‘perfect’, you enter an Anti-Life mode. You end up not really living but fulfilling some imaginary barometer of virtue, of thought, or other Human measuring stick.

Quote:

He who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy;
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in Eternity’s sunrise.William Blake

Now why do we strive towards ‘perfection’? To get the PERFECT women? There are obviously no perfect women. Even a Playboy centerfold can turn into a FAT EVIL HAG. (*cough* Anna Nicole Smith *cough*)

I’d imagine the ‘perfection’ comes from the thought that the WOMAN obtained will be like heavenly rain in a parched desert. All the things you’re looking for in life… joy, sociality, and even sexuality must come from YOU. And you know what? Examine the ladies you ARE attracted too. They already have the joy, socialibility, and sexuality. When they look at you, you may think you are ‘perfect’ but they see a joyless frustrated creature.

There was this guy who went to the gym almost all the time. His diet was PERFECT. His workout routines were PERFECT. His clothing was PERFECT. His six pack… no, EIGHT pack was PERFECT. He MODELED. He got involved in ACTING. He looked like a GREEK GOD. When he walked about, all the ladies noticed him. He used his flesh like a masculine dress. Aside from those that used and discarded him as a boy toy, the ladies always broke up with him. How could they break up with this ADONIS? “He is so BORING” they all said in chorus. After all, he spent most of his time in the gym or being consistent with his perfect diet. If this guy spent less time being perfect and more time being human, he would be much more successful with the ladies and much happier.

There was this other guy that became a super successful lawyer. He bought the token status car and made a mini-mansion. He went to the gym every other night. He had money, had status, and looked great. He thought the ladies would find him PERFECT. Well, they did find him perfect but not for the reasons he wanted. They found him PERFECT for STABILITY. So he married a ‘super hot babe’ and had kids (which he paid for a nanny to take care of). What does the ‘super hot babe’ do? She cheats on him! “Don’t you love him?” "Yes, yes I very much do,” and she speaks the truth. No, she sleeps around because SHE IS BORED. He dehumanized everything. She doesn’t have to work, doesn’t have to raise the kids, and doesn’t have to do anything. Of course she won’t leave him. And of course she is in ‘love’ with him (or rather his STABILITY). Yet, she is bored and cheats on him. If the guy was a bit more human and less perfect, she might find her husband more interesting than his foolish role of Mr. Perfection.

So when you think, “I have been on this forum for X amount of time! And I am STILL A) Virgin B) Single C) Non-LTR D) Not getting the girl I want. I have A) Read the DJ Bible again and again B) Gotten advice from the posters here C) Read and bought many DJ books.”

Consider: “Are you trying to PERFECT yourself when it comes to women or are you trying to HUMANIZE yourself that you find interacting with women as natural as breathing?”

Hazlitt No one ever approaches perfection except by stealth, and unknown to themselves.

Orwell The essence of being human is that one does not seek perfection, that one IS sometimes willing to commit sins for the sake of loyalty, that one does not push asceticism to the point where it makes friendly intercourse impossible, and that one is prepared in the end to be defeated and broken up by life, which is the inevitable price of fastening one’s love upon other human individuals.

“Perfect is boring!” and watch those reasons evaporate. Stand up! Already, the blood is pulsing through your veins. You’ve always wanted to do this but have always been scared of yourself. Let go.

You stand up and go out the door.

Go! Go!

You see a beautiful woman but are afraid to approach.

“Perfect is boring…” and you go and talk to her.

But you like to spend your free time on the computer. So what? Talk to her.

You are scared to ask for her number…

“Perfect is boring…”

She gave you the number! Again, you are scared of the date. Too many unknowns! But…

“Perfect is boring…”

Look! She is smiling at you! She wants to kiss you!

But you have never kissed a girl before. Would you mess it up? Would you slobber over her? What of it!

“Perfect is boring…”

*Smooch*

She loves it! Now look at what position she is in! You know what to do…

For the love of yourself, for the love of life, you are letting go and are actually becoming human.

Pity those who want the perfect life! Break me, tear me apart, let me be beaten and altered by life, let my life be touched and touch in return for I will be Human, for there is no reason on earth to be scared of yourself.

Perfect is boring… let it be written in the sky, painted on buildings, read with your eyes, transcribed on your soul. All those people who are ALONE are perfect… but those with the girl realize that being perfect is boring!

Wow, that was an awesome post, I wish I had seen it like 2 months ago, I could have used it. I know exactly what you're saying, Pook, I do this all the time with girls I know who I am either not interested in or who are already taken. They all fall for me. I just haven't been able to articulate it this well. I'm going to remember this one. A must read, folks.

Good post Pook. Just a random thought though ... while trying to not be too "perfect" may make you a more interesting person, at what point can your behavior be too "extreme" such that you come off as too weird and people lose respect for you?

For example, Richard Simmons is hardly perfect but good gracious, I don't think Richard Simmons is respected in the way we'd want to be respected!

“Look at the REAL stars that EVERYONE LOVES. Are these people the perfect model types that grace magazine covers? NO. They all have huge eccentrices of their own.” In other words, Schwarzenegger is no Shakespearean Actor. I think the only other character that hasn’t talked as much in movies would be Lassie.

Take the successful lawyer who goes to the gym all the time. BORING. What is Human about him? One thing I didn’t realize: if you strive towards perfection, chicks are going to expect you to be ‘perfect’.

We must fall in order to rise. The little goodie who strives to be perfect in all his manners with everyone is going to be surpassed by the guy who lets his eccentricities rise in his dealings.
**********************

You've got it wrong.

It's not the fact that a guy goes to the gym all of the time - look at Arnold S - do you think he got to be Mr Universe by not going into the gym? No - he was in the gym like twice a day.

It's the fact that the guy has ZERO personality - NO MATTER WHAT HE DOES.

There is nothing wrong with pursuing your goals - and having drive and determination to achive them. Sacrifices are made on the way also. That's what this board is all about - teaching us to aim high and achive our goals as men. If not - then we put women first - AFC behaviour.

Point is - the lawyer - the guy who goes to the gym etc. etc. are getting cheated on, not because they go to the gym - but because they are just downright boring as a person.

Don't sacrifice your goals for women - or just because a chick calls you a geek for going to the gym 5 times a week - follow your pasions - but be sure to be rounded, rugged, self thinking individuals.

When you were talking to those girls, you were not thinking "sex, sex, sex". Your goal with them was to simply have fun. MAN, what a difference it makes! : ) When you forget about sex when you talk to the girl, you instantly see them as the fragile, harmless creatures they are. The only power chicks have over us is SEX, and we give them that power. Take it away, and they have nothing.

You will quickly rediscover your ability to simply have fun with chicks.

I used to have a HUGE sticking point where I'd weird girls out by projecting sexual state too strongly, too early. Yeah, I used straight Gunwitch Method, and it fukking freaked the girls out. Why? Because I was following some guy's lay process and it felt like I was doing work instead of having fun. In essence, not only was I boring her, but I was lusting for her and making her uncomfortable since I didn't capture her mind and emotions. I was a perfect mannequin, pulling all the right shyt, but not once getting a sincere smile.

I had become a slave to method, willing to do anything for a close, treating pickup like one big scientific lab experiment to get me laid. I approached and talked to chicks with hopes of having sex, but I was only talking to them for the purpose of securing a lay, and they sensed it. I was not having fun.

After I applied this post to my life, my sticking point evaporated. Upon first approaching a HB, my body went on autopilot straight into fight-or-flight mode. I hate that shyt, but my body has been conditioned for years to respond that way, so I can not will myself out of it.

Then I remembered Pook's post and thought "Perfect is boring. I already have a girlfriend (even though I don't, that was my frame). Just have fun." BAM. Instantly my insecurities melted away and my body calmed down.

I charmed the sh!t out of the girl and had her laughing the entire time. My naturally funny and charming self emerged and ran rampant all over her, leaving a joyous wake of laughter and positivity in it's path.

She went into playful mode and gave me the DDB look multiple times. Too bad for her, though, because I wasn't concerned about sexing her! My mission was to have fun with her and I did.

Guys, upon the initial encounter forget about "projecting sexual state." In order for her to feel comfortable about you being sexual, she first has to trust you and enjoy your company. So intrigue her by coming from left field as a friend would. Your frame is that you already have a girlfriend, which makes you way attractive.

Try this out a few times: fully forget about sexing the girl. Make sex with the chick a temporary impossibility and just focus on having fun with her. Your goal is simply to have fun. By now you should be unafraid of your sexuality.

In my experience, sexuality and confidence pour out of me whether I want it to or not. So there is no need for me to consciously "project sexual state." This is probably the case for you if your inner game is tight enough.

Just let your sexuality flow out of you WHILE you are having fun, but don't consciously focus on projecting sexuality.

In other words, don't be afraid of sexuality like an AFC would. Embrace sexuality, but don't focus on projecting it. You'll come off as try-hard and weird if you kick off your interaction that way.

Instead, focus on having fun with the girl and learning about her-- her values, her sense of humor, her views on life, her imperfections-- and accept them. For that is truly what the Don Juan does.

The AFC sees girls as perfect, godly beings who can do no wrong. Chicks know that they are imperfect. The AFC draws distance between himself and the girl by overlooking her flaws and assigning her all sorts of qualities that she does not have.

The DJ/PUA, on the other hand, sees plainly the girl's imperfections, and he accepts them. He teases her about them to let her know that he notices them. He sees her naked and exposed, flaws and all. And he accepts her anyway. That is why she loves him.

Guys, re-read this post as many times as you need to until the message sinks in. For the love of god, HAVE FUN and remember that "Perfect is boring."

Maybe this post is for inspirational purposes only...but the content and inductions are pretty lame

This goes against everything I believe in ever since I came to The DJF. First, It's a Dating show!!!! They try to entertain you with bizzarre storylines. If you think humping girls and acting like a 2 year old is going to get you pussi, then join the circus.

So what you are implying, POOK, is that we should give up our PASSION for women? The dude that has a passion for working out and look like a greek god and the Very successful lawyer who got cheated on...Imagine you were a broke asz muthafukkkker, you think the super hot babe would cheat on you? You have to be a dumbazs to deny it.

Shouldn't a DJ have a passion? Women are not passion, they are an obsession

True, perfect is boring. Apply that to women. For the rest of life, apply perfection. For if we strive for perfection in life,we know it's impossible to hit, but if you miss perfection, you get close to perfection. Which is good enough for your ambitions.

Concerning women, yeah, definitely, perfect is boring. But don't you think that other areas in life deserve strife for perfection? I assume this was a post aimed specifically at women then...

The whole point was that the dude let his passion for working out/being a lawer take over his whole life and make him boring, like a dude who always thinks about women all the time...He was so obsessed with being perfect that he forgot basic sh1t....You shouldnt let anything, girls or whatever, to take over your life like that...

There is nothing wrong with pursuing your goals - and having drive and determination to achive them. Sacrifices are made on the way also. That's what this board is all about - teaching us to aim high and achive our goals as men. If not - then we put women first - AFC behaviour.

You've missed his point. Preaching about ambition only solidifies his point. One can never be perfect at anything. A man with true ambition will work toward his passion throughout his life, regardless of success, because it is what he loves. It isn't about perfection, it's about living.

Quote:

So what you are implying, POOK, is that we should give up our PASSION for women? The dude that has a passion for working out and look like a greek god and the Very successful lawyer who got cheated on...Imagine you were a broke asz muthafukkkker, you think the super hot babe would cheat on you? You have to be a dumbazs to deny it.

I have to ask you, why do you have a passion for women? Working out and having a passion for working out is all well and good, but the point at hand is that YOU CANNOT, WILL NOT, AND SHOULD NOT make an attempt to be the perfect Don Juan. It is played out, cliched, and fake. And with everyone trying to become that persona, it becomes unoriginal, unhuman, and reeks of desperation.

Quote:

Perfect is boring but to be Human is Beautiful.

You know, I'm reluctant to kiss ass because I'm tired of all the Pook-worshipping, but this is great. Nice post.