My Ray of Sunshine

You know when you’re sad and you feel like the whole world is against you? Most people go to their friends or family members. But not me. No, I go to a Hollywood actor who doesn’t even know I exist. And while many of you will snort in derision at this, the select few of you will understand exactly what I am about to say. (Potential film spoilers ahead!)

First of all, I should probably state that said Hollywood actor goes by the name of Sebastian Stan. This is point where a lot of you roll your eyes and mutter “only because he’s hot.” But there’s a much bigger story than that. I won’t lie, I only really sat up and took notice of Seb this April, when I saw Captain America: Civil War for the first time. It’s pretty crappy that I didn’t really notice him in previous Captain America films, I know, but something just happened when I saw Civil War, I can’t actually explain it. So, naturally, I went home, I started Googling the guy and within an hour or so I was very familiar with previously-unknown-to-me Sebastian Stan. And then we get to the tricky part. Anyone who knows me personally will know that my family have been through a lot in the past few months, and this is how my connection with Seb started. It was one of those whole-world-is-against-me moments, I was scrolling through my Twitter timeline, and suddenly I was confronted with Sebastian Stan’s beautiful smile. And I couldn’t help but smile. For that split second, I felt like everything was going to be okay. And from then on, whenever I felt remotely sad, I would open my phone’s gallery, go directly to my “Sebby Stan” folder, and remind myself that for as long as this man is in the world, nothing can be that bad. Something about his infectious smile and the fact that he just is a walking meme manages to comfort me every time something goes wrong, and I am more than immensely thankful for this. I can’t even explain exactly what it is about him, but he makes me feel safe and calm and believe me, when you’ve got acute or immense anxiety, having someone or something that calms you down even for a moment is an absolute blessing.

And it’s more than just me. I know that Seb has helped so many people, directly and indirectly. He’s the only Hollywood actor I’ve ever come across who is so ridiculously grounded that he will come out of his hotel in the middle of the night, in his pyjamas, and meet his fans. He never, ever downplays how much his fans mean to him, he is always up for meeting people and will do literally any awesome photo op pose you want. He’s also pretty damn awesome online, as well. I know he’s only on Instagram, but man, does he use it well. He uses it to help fans with their anxiety and to have proper, full-on conversations about Bucky Barnes and to just be a low-key dork fangirling over Mark Hamill. He’s so thankful for where he is right now and for everything he’s gained in the past few years and he never takes anything for granted. He’s probably got the best sense of humour of any actor (seriously, go and watch his interviews with Anthony Mackie) and he just doesn’t take himself seriously. He still acts like a normal guy, regardless of the life he has now. I hear endless stories about people telling him what an amazing actor he is, and he in return just blushes and forgets how to speak. This from the man who plays The Winter Soldier – the deadliest assassin in the Marvel universe. This is also the man who once ran into a fridge because he was so star-struck by Robert Redford.

So, people can say that only like him because he’s attractive or that I’m obsessed with him, because it doesn’t matter. I know the truth. I know that he’s nothing more or nothing less than my own personal ray of sunshine, someone who will never know it, but is always there doing something dorky or cute when I feel down. I know that some people will never be able to understand this because I haven’t met him or spoken to him, but that’s not the point. Doesn’t everybody have something they turn to when they’re sad? Be it a certain song or film or photo? Well my ‘something’ is Sebastian Stan, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Basically, this was just a massive, tangent blog post attempting to put into words why I have so much respect and love for Sebastian Stan. Because he’s not just a freaking incredible actor, he’s kind-hearted, down to earth, hilarious, an actual meme, the biggest dork, and just an actual, real life Hollywood sweetheart. But most importantly, he is a ray of sunshine for so many. So next time you go to tell me or anyone else that they should stop being ‘obsessed’ with Sebastian Stan, or any other idol for that matter, just stop and think about what he actually means to someone. Because for all you know, an idol could be the only reason that someone is still here.

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One thought on “My Ray of Sunshine”

I understand the way you feel and I feel the same. How can I be more in love with a person I’ve never met than with probably anybody I’ll ever meet in real life? I’ve been obsessing over him ever since I got into Marvel movies