Thursday, June 15, 2006

Nathan Lehman was having a bad week. The 19 year old engineering student at Penn State had just been dumped by his girlfriend. He'd spent two sleepless nights camped outside Beaver Stadium in anticipation of the Penn State - Ohio State game. The religious Lehman couldn't even drown his sorrows in alcohol - he doesn't drink.

But then the Nittany Lions got their biggeest win in years. The stadium was alive and fans were going crazy. This was the type of thing that changes around a bad week, the kind of thing that makes college memorable. Maybe things were going to turn around for poor Nathan Lehman.

Did Lehman celebrate by hugging strangers in the stands? Did he join in a rousing chorus of Fight On State? Did he whip out his cell phone to take a picture of the moment? Nope, none of these. He stormed the field.

Some universities have responded to the destruction of goalposts by installing collapseable posts (they are lowered at the end of each game). They cite the numerous injuries that occur each year from rioting students as they tear down the structures.

So... how does PSU intend on responding to this?

I have an answer: attack dogs. Nothing squelches a celebratory fit of rage like a K9's teeth on your nuts.

There is an ominous element to this article. First, when Baggypants references using pipe bombs and automatic weapons, it is surprising neither has occurred at a game. A bipartisan panel of experts recently announced the gravest threat posed by terrorists in the US are precisely those kinds of actions. Second, however bizarre, hitherto normal college students occasionally do terrible things and suffer gravely. A high school acquaintance of mine went to Yale as an undergraduate (when the drinking age was still 18). After a freshman party at which he got drunk, he tripped, slammed his head against a car bumper while falling, and died of a subdural hematoma. This is not an urban myth: it happened in the fall of 1980 to someone I knew reasonably well. What may be most surprising is not that horrible things happen but that they do not occur more often.

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