I wish I had an excuse for that last photo but I can’t remember if I was doing a really stupid looking pose or just tripping over my own foot. Maybe a little of both; they’re equal hazards of being pigeon toed and wearing heels all the time.

I don’t know if you remember, but there was a time when I barely ever wore accessories. I guess I go through stages, because for a very long time, I wore bracelets all the way up my arm. So high, in fact, that I held my arm out straight because I couldn’t bend it. Of course, that was when I was a little kid. When high school came, I went to rainbows and studded belts and myriad pins all over my bags, then to the countless neckties I found at thrift stores – and not in the “cool” Avril way, in the “I’m going to dress like a man” kind of way. I had golf pants and corduroy. Lots of old man, plaid golf pants. I was going for Annie Hall but failed, miserably.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that when it comes to expressing myself, I’m a go big or go home type of gal. I’m rather laid back, until you push me over the edge and I blow up in your face, leaving you wondering, “What the heck just happened?” The same goes for accessorizing: I’m over accessorizing or wearing nothing at all. I used to have the same attitude toward makeup. No makeup or straight up drag queen. But I’ve come to love the in-between, in terms of getting out the door in a decent amount of time and still looking like a functioning human being. That doesn’t mean I can actually function like a human being, but at least I can look like one.