Anorak

Flat-Pack Bullies

by | 28th, June 2006

Winners

Germany supporters displayed something approaching comedy when they taunted their Swedish opponents when the teams met. “You’re just a furniture supplier,” they chimed. The Swedish reply is not known, although rumours are that it will arrive in a flat-pack cardboard box within the next 28 days.

The door Zinedine Zidane kicked in anger when he was substituted during France’s 1-1 with South Korea is to be preserved for the nation. Winfried Lonzen, the stadium director in Leipzig, says: “We will keep it deformed by a kick from one of the greatest ever footballers.”

The 15 "fan fests" in Germany are making loadsa money on water. Half a litre of water costs £2.40, 20 pence more than for the same amount of beer.

Losers

Germany’s Christoph Melzelder, who plies his trade for Borussia Dortmund, says he will not shave until Germany are knocked out. The final is on July 9.

More news from north of the border, where some sad Scots are desperate to spoil the World Cup for local England supporters. Englishman Alexander Clark was upset to return home and find the England flags he’d hung on his house removed. They had been dumped at a bus stop close to his home. “I get a bit of banter, but no one has gone this far before,” says the cleaner, who has lived in Scotland for 20 years.

Of the 500 England fans detained in Stuttgart, 129 have been banned from travelling to Gelsenkirchen for the quarter-final. As a police spokeswoman explains: “The ban covers the city, fan-fest and stadium.”

The new team manager of Italy’s biggest club, Juventus, is thought to have jumped from the roof of his office. Former Italy player Gianluca Pessotto, 35, ‘fell’ from the roof holding rosary beads in his hands. The news comes just four days after Juve were charged with match fixing.