The terms squirting, gushing and female ejaculation are usually all used to reference the same thing: the expulsion of fluid out of the female urethra during arousal. Squirting does not refer to the fluids that lubricate the vagina, but rather to the emission of a thin, watery liquid out of the urethra (the same hole urine comes out of).

Not all women will be able to learn how to ejaculate. Squirting seems to be much easier for some women than others. Some women ejaculate almost every time they have sex. Others never experience female ejaculation.

If you want to explore learning how to squirt, start with mastering fingering techniques to stimulate the G-spot. This kind of stimulation can feel amazing, whether or not you end up ejaculating. Rather than make squirting the goal, just explore getting more aroused and having better orgasms, and be open to the side benefit of squirting if it happens.

Squirting sometimes happens at the same time as orgasm, and sometimes happens before or after an orgasm. Squirting is the female version of an ejaculation. One main difference is that female ejaculate doesn’t have semen, and is therefore much thinner and clearer than its male counterpart.

4. Male and female sex systems have a lot in common.

The male and female sexual system are much more similar than they are different. Each part of the male anatomy has a female match (or “homologue” in scientific terms). The clitoris is the match to the penis, the paraurethral gland is the match to the prostate gland.

Both glands produce ejaculate and then empty into the urethra with the muscular contractions of sexual arousal. So it turns out that squirting isn’t really a mystery; it is simple sexual anatomy at work.

In the late 17th century, a Dutch gynecologist named Regnier de Graaf documented the precise difference between vaginal lubrication and female ejaculation. The fact that squirting has remained a “mystery” until now reflects the cultural silencing and shaming around female sexuality. It is time to be unabashedly educated about the female sexual system, don’t you think?

Some women love the gushing release of ejaculation. But orgasm is a highly subjective experience, so it is impossible to compare what kind of orgasm is “better” than another. If you want to explore squirting, have fun in the process. But don’t get hung up on it being any more “enlightened” or “powerful” than a non-ejaculatory orgasm.

As professional sex educators, we are always amused that men are desperate to learn how not to ejaculate during orgasm, while women are busy learning how to ejaculate. We can all learn how to experience a wider range of orgasmic release, but there is no magic formula to achieve sexual perfection. Ejaculation or not, multiple orgasm or singular climax, your sexual experience is yours to enjoy.