Telling children about divorce: How to make the process easier

When telling their children about their impending divorce, parents should prepare a script and provide affirmation during this conversation.

While there are many difficult aspects of the divorce process for parents in New York, often, one of the most trying is telling their children that their marriage is ending. Although this conversation may not be easy, there are several strategies parents can use to make telling their children about their impending divorce go smoothly.

Before the conversation

To ensure the conversation goes as planned, parents should do several things to prepare beforehand. According to The Huffington Post, parents may benefit from working with a family therapist to determine what they will say and then write out a script to guide the conversation. Additionally, parents should choose a time to tell their children about their divorce when they will not be distracted by relatives, friends or other activities.

During the conversation

During the conversation, parents should try to focus on positive things. For example, parents may consider emphasizing that their children still have two people who love them and that the divorce may give them the opportunity to spend more individual time with each one of their parents. While talking with their children, parents should also do the following:

Try to focus on how things will not change too drastically at home.
Make sure that their children know that the divorce is not their fault.
Refrain from blaming one parent for the divorce and make the decision seem like it is mutual.

While making this announcement, parents should expect their children to possibly become very emotional and be prepared to provide consolation and affirmation that everything will be alright.

After the conversation

After this initial conversation, children may have a series of additional questions about what will happen next. For instance, children may be curious about child custody arrangements, where they will go to school and when their mother or father will move out of the house. Parents should be honest when answering these questions without speaking negatively of the other parent.

Although getting a divorce may be the right decision, many parents may be hesitant to tell their children about their plans and take further action because they are worried about how the split will impact their children. When this occurs, parents should keep in mind that while divorce can be difficult, it has the potential to benefit children.

For instance, according to The Huffington Post, children may become more relaxed once the tension has dissolved in the house, children will have the opportunity to receive more personalized attention from both parents and children will be able to witness their parents being happy, which can have a positive impact on their future relationship decisions. To ensure the end of their marriage is beneficial both for them and their children, parents should contact an attorney who can provide legal guidance and support throughout the duration of the divorce process.