Morning Jitters

Ace went to school today since he’s had no sign of a cold since Saturday. Lucky woke up at around 2 a.m. with a low fever, so I gave him Tylenol and a cold cup of water and put him back to sleep. When he awoke at 7:00 a.m. there was no fever or sniffles! DH is still a little under the weather but not nearly as bad as last night. Thank God! Through the prayers of St. Panteleimon!!

So after they went on their way this morning, I poured myself a cup of coffee and took the biggest slice of pumpkin pie in the plate to eat for breakfast. I made the pie Sunday afternoon–I did cheat and use a pre-made pie crust for the first time, which doesn’t taste half as good as a homemade crust, but considering the type of weekend I had, it served it’s purpose.

I am still having a really hard time adjusting to this school thing. It’s just such a difficult transition, does it really get better?

I mean, I really like volunteering and doing all the PTO stuff, he has fabulous teachers and it’s overall just an excellent school but he is still nervous every morning, especially Monday’s and the poor boy has diarrhea from his nerves every morning! (One day he’ll want to kill me for posting that) It seems like no matter how good things are going I still have this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when I think about sending him off each morning. On weekends, I feel like I’m borrowing him for a few days and that I have to return him on Monday morning–like a library book or something.

I keep trying to find the silver lining. He is learning a lot already and as nervous as he is in the morning he always says he had a great day when I pick him up in the afternoon. I don’t know which of us is having a more difficult time.

It makes me want to curl up on the couch and watch home videos again…but I promised myself I wouldn’t…maybe I’ll go finish off the rest of the pumpkin pie…

Comments

Well, it will get better. But, not until he figures out how to deal with the anxiety. What I mean is that you have to help him figure out what makes him so nervous and then help him think of ways to deal with it. Put yourself in his shoes–not "mom who doesn't want baby to go to school" shoes, but actually think what it's like to be him. Whenever my kids cry in the night or put them to bed, I think about how scary it is to be little in a big dark room all alone. Then I think about what I would want if I were scared. I would want my mom to come and hold me and rock me, talk to me, and help me be not scared. When I do that, it always seems to help the kids. Also books about what they are going through helps. I have this book called "D.W.'s Guide to Preschool." That book always makes my son feel better about going to school. And of course, your prayers help.

Thanks for the suggestions Renee! I think you're absolutely right. Even though we've gone through the "What makes you nervous?" spiel 100x (and he always realizes at the end there is nothing to be nervous about), I think he may be picking up on my vibes–even though I conceal them from him completely and am constantly focusing on the things I know he's looking forward to at school. Maybe I'm focusing too much on school in general, I really don't know. I'm definitely going to check that book out! Please keep us in your prayers!

I'm very lucky in that my two are ultra-sociable and really don't care where they are or what they have to do, as long as they are with other children. But I know that Phoebe loved playing 'school' with her toys and little brother. And also she loved that there were things that she knew that I didn't. Admittedly, I sometimes play dumb; 'So what's circle time then, Phoebs? How does that work? Wow! You know so much! You're really learning a lot at school!'It also meant she would mirror my questions by saying, 'So what did YOU do today Mummy?'Maybe if you can encourage him to see school as something really special to him that the rest of you don't know much about, it might encourage a sense of ownership of the experience? Maybe?Like I say, I'm very lucky not to have this problem (others, of course, but not this one).If it helps, you could tell Ace how many people in your blogging community are praying for him?

this is hard. kids can feel parent's emotions. don't beat yourself up about this though. do you think he feels an expectation to do everything right the first time he learns it? this can be hard. I recently read a short story of St. John of Kronstadt's life and he had a really hard time with school; for a long time he just was not understanding his lessons and then one night when he was praying, this burden was removed. I am asking his prayers as I try to learn French; my friend asked his prayers for her university studies; perhaps he can help you little one in school too! My love to you!

I think you should look into homeschooling more. It's not a bad thing that he wants to stay home with you. Independence is an American goal with no spiritual value. The family is his safe place; the best place to work out his salvation and grow in his faith and knowledge of the world. The school shouldn't get most of his time and the best part of his day. You should! Please read this most excellent Orthodox article on the matter:http://www.pravmir.com/article_697.htmlUltimately, the best place for a child to be schooled is where he can work out his salvation. Please please forgive me for saying too much! Homeschooling is a passion of mine and as a former teacher, a crusade. Because of this, my mouth us way too big. I hope you'll erase my comment after reading. I don't want to anger too many. Thanks!

It's true, children just sort of "absorb" their parents' feelings, so pray a lot and work on your own anxiety first. (It's a symptom of your being a great mom, but it still has to be resolved.)Time does make it easier, too.

Sylvia- I'm glad you're considering the distinct possibility that he's picking up on your anxiety. Kids are much more perceptive than we give them credit for. I let my (never verbalized) preference for my parents over my in-laws taint my daughter's initial perception. It wasn't until I dealt with my issues that she really opened up to them–and this was when she was a baby.Continue in prayer. It will get easier. Maybe even verbalizing a teeny tiny bit of your sadness to him–Mommy's a little sad to see you're not a baby anymore, but I'm so proud of you—can help him know it's okay to miss life as it was but also okay to move forward.Someone once told me that being a mom was all about learning to live with loss. You're continually losing the child you had for someone new and different. We can focus on the loss or focus on the new person God has given us for a season. You're a great mom. Take heart!

What a stressful time you are going through! My prayers are with you and your family as you deal with all the changes. A friend of mine has a daughter who went through the same issues when starting school. She pulled her out and waited another year and she was fine on the next go round and more emotionally ready. Don't know if that's option or not but am just throwing it out there. Bless you!

I am way too caught up in this posting. All these women have wonderful suggestions! Of course, you will have to figure out what's right for your family. But, I was listening to Dr. Laura and thought of you. She was talking to a mom about a similar problem, and Dr. Laura pointed out that kids who have perfectionist tendencies will feel anxiety about school even though they know there is nothing to worry about because they feel pressure to perform perfectly. So her suggestion for the mom was to not get too wrapped up in the child's school day. Ask her, how are you? Not how was school? And for a while she told the mom, to not make judgements of her day. Like, "Oh that was good." I am all for waiting to send children to school until it is the right time. I read that boys often lack the emotional maturity to separate at a young age. My mom tried preschool with my brother and ended up having to send only every other day (for her sake not his, she still wanted him out of the house so she could have a break). Of course, he is eventually going to have to get out there in the world and I promise there is no harm in sending him to school even though he has anxiety. It's a learning curve and sometimes it takes longer for some.

Wow! Thank you all for your wonderful advice!There is some very helpful information in your comments! I think prayer is the most important and I need to be doing more of that. Anonymous–Please don't feel bad expressing your love for homeschooling! For a long time I thought that was the path we would go but then things changed and we decided it wasn't our best option right now. Who knows for the future though. I also love keeping up to date with different homeschooling news and curriculums, so I appreciate the link as well!!Caylee-I think that is probably the hardest part of being a mother–letting go of your children–and we are asked to do that throughout their entire lives…Renee- Ace is almost 6 so I did wait as long as I could, I'm thinking Dr. Laura is right (as usual) and he may be worried about being perfect, which I have to admit I do have a tendency to do that with myself and probably the boys as well without realizing it. I have to keep myself under control :).

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