Closer

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Hey guys, thanks for reading my blog. My last post brought in a lot of views, so I decided to get on with moving the whole thing to WordPress. I've been working on it off and on for a little while, and I just finished. All the stuff on here is now on there.Nothing new will be posted on this blog now. If you subscribe to this one and still want new stuff, you'll have to subscribe to that one.The new blog address is: chrisdarius.wordpress.comThank you all so much, and I look forward to writing more soon! :)

Monday, December 2, 2013

Here’s an inside look at how guys carefully approach relationships,
and at the major worry that they have when it comes to opposite-sex
relationships.

First off, this isn’t about real friendships, this is about those friendships where a guy secretly
fancies the girl or is attracted to her – which is honestly, like, most guy-girl
friendships. Those rare friendships where guys and girls are legitimately just
friends are, well, totally different.

Here’s the thing that the guy worries about: getting written
off. Getting written off is the general ‘oh…’ moment. This happens when the
girl says or does something that makes you go, you guessed it, ‘oh…’

One basic example includes a girl saying she can see herself
as being ‘an old cat lady’. That’s a no from me. I guess I can see it too.

Another includes seeing the way a girl talks to or about
other girls. If it’s nice and loving, then the guy will be inclined to be the
same – but if it’s rude, then that’s a no again. This includes gossip and
rumors. If you can’t get along with your own gender, how can you possibly know
enough about how you work as a female to get along with me?

The last basic example is seeing how a girl interacts with
“hot guys”. One person I knew recently, I liked as soon as I met her. I could
see myself marrying her. She just had everything that I wanted – physically,
mentally, and spiritually. She was cute, she was smart, and she had a love for
God I’d never seen before.

We helped out at a volunteer event and I was kinda pumped,
to be honest. We didn’t work together, but the group of us went out for dinner
afterwards. The moment came when we were leaving. She had gone ahead, and was
stopped at a table near the door. There were a couple “hot guys” there. She was
chatting it up, obviously excited at their muscles bulging out of their cut-off
tank tops. We asked why we were stopped, and she said, “I’m just
talking to these smokin’ hot guys.”

I could see they shifted in their seats for a second. Looked
like they were almost as uncomfortable and confused as I was. Why was she so
blatant? Couldn’t she use a better term? Or speak as though they were human
beings? Well, we left and were in the parking lot and she just had to give those guys her number. So we
scrounged for paper and a pen and a friend went in and delivered it. Yeah, the friend who delivered it told me those guys were weirded out when they got it. I seriously doubt they ever texted or called
her.

Why, you might ask?

Because, at that moment, those guys all had their “oh…”
moment. All they could see was a girl who couldn’t control herself and needed a “hot” boyfriend.

And, standing in the parking lot, I had my “oh…” moment. Why? Because
what I saw was that even though this girl was mature physically, mentally, and
spiritually, she was not mature emotionally.
She couldn’t control herself. And I wanted no part with a girl who only looked
to see if a guy was “hot” before she wanted to date him.

How do these three examples all tie together? All of them are
things that the girl says or does that instantly
turns the guy totallyoff.

What? Did you say, ‘What does this have to do with guys’
insecurities?’ Well, I’m glad you asked.

Guys, like girls, want to come across right. We all want to
come across as we are. And yet, one simple thing could ruin the whole picture.
That’s what guys are worried about when it comes to friendships or getting to
know a girl. They’re worried about saying or doing the wrong thing and, as a
result, having the girl have her “oh…” moment and deciding that he isn’t what
she’s looking for.

I’m sure girls feel the same thing. But oh man, guys feel it
too. And most of the time we all don’t realize it.

But, in response to this issue, how do we fix it? It’s not easy to do, and
yet it’s not hard to explain. Give second
chances. That’s it. I’ve been trying to, and it’s really going to help you
too. What if that girl or guy that just said or did something really dumb is
actually nothing like that? What if they really are everything that you’re
looking for? You won’t know unless you give them second chances. Because, honestly, don't you want second chances too?