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I'm not singing quiet cuz I'm concerned with volume. I'm singing quiet because when I sing loudly, I can't get my voice to be so subtle that it crosses registers. Meaning, I end up belting nearly everything in full chest voice. THAT is what I'm trying to get away from. There is one particular song in the stuff that I do, and if I am subtle with it, the pitch is better because I'm not constantly squeezing and it sounds easier. However, this is why I asked the original question, it's very hard to do it and I get a lot of tension there as well. So, if I sing it balls out, and the melody is on a G mostly, it sounds very tight, cuz it is. If I sing it quietly, I ALMOST get it to sound smooth, not forced, and easy, but it's actually really hard to do because of all the tension I'm feeling. I might not be explaining this very well...

Not sure Prince would agree with this. His bands have all done contrived dance moves and it comes off as awesome. Jacksons, Sly and the Family Stone, etc. same deal. Same with Bruno. Check out his Runaway Baby clip. It's amazingly cool and loaded with choreography. It is also loaded with attitude. There are some instances for us amateurs where dancing on stage is necessary including higher paying ameteur casino acts, depending on the band of course. Have a look at the packaged disco acts out there (Hi Dan!) and some of the 80s acts (Hi Dan!). Those bands PACK clubs and it's because there's an element (a big one) of it being a "show" and not just guys in t-shirts and jeans looking at their shoes. Granted, if you CAN'T dance convincingly, DON'T. It'll look worse than you think. But if you've got a good sense of rhythm and can do it while singing or playing an instrument, or both, it CAN look very cool AND can get you more money at upper end gigs. If you were in a club and saw a kickass band doing this stuff, you'd definitely come back and THAT is what it's all about. Of course it depends on what type of band you're in too.

I've been gradually learning how to sing quietly and am trying to tone down my approach as I'm a more belt it out kind of guy. Singing quieter seems to facilitate crossing registers much easier, which I like. I'm not using this in my gigs yet because I don't have full mastery. However, I can see some beneficial things and some not so beneficial things that could come out of approaching things this way. I find that when I sing quieter, I have to kind of hold everything in and this causes tension in my neck, jaw, etc. It also means I'm going into a lighter head voice than if I just balls out go for it. So it's a whimpier, quieter tone. However, it's not a loud, yelly, uncontrollable tone. Did you guys have that tension when you learned to do this? I THINK it's just a coordination thing and I may be trying to "prop it up" so it doesn't fall apart. Also, once I'm doing this with my loud band, I think it will be super hard to maintain the quieter approach (I wear in ears). Any thoughts?

Sorry, just got back to to this thread. I probably shoulda asked your age. If you're under 21, that's a different matter and my advice is to still get out in front of people, somehow (karaoke tracks?).
If you're older then there are usually Karaoke bars all over the place. In Seattle, I believe they have their own newspaper that you can find. In other cities, not so sure. Also, in Seattle (outside the city) they seem to be on every corner. Facebook is a good method too. Look for local clubs/bars FB pages, see if they have open mics or Jam nights or Karaoke. Like their page, or spy on it.
Being a multi-instrumentalist that sings is also good. You can get a gig anywhere if you can play and sing (lead or backups). NEVER be that guy that says "Well, I can sing backups....sometimes.....As long as they're low" Sorry, I've sat through too many of those guys' auditions. Turns out they could NEVER sing and play.

So I'm experiencing this new(ish) thing... I've been doing a lot of sirens and oohs and EEs up from my chest to my head voice and back down. I tell ya, if I ever have to sing a song where the only words are "You Fool Me", I will be styling! While I wait for that song to turn up - I've noticed where I USED to be able to kind of squeeze and push (right around A) things in my throat COMPLETELY shut off and it will no longer work. I can no longer PUSH THROUGH or Muscle Through stuff. Don't get me wrong, I don't wanna be a pushy (read that last word carefully kids!) singer, but there have been times when I've been in the middle of a gig and had to push to make it through. In fact there are a few songs where I need a bit of muscle like that behind it in spots. Not to hit the note, but to get the effect the original singer has. What I'm finding is that if I lighten up my air and don't push, I make it with minimal effort, but it's a different and not tight voice (good). However, it's not a big voice (bad). Just to reiterate- I don't want to have to push to get notes, however, there are times where that tightness is good for affect and can help as long as you don't ride that all night. AND I'd also think that by doing things with the head voice that it wouldn't mess up my upper chest voice. It's like my head voice is saying "DOOD, you need to go easy here... ooh! it's saying "You (Can't) Fool Me" - damn, so close to my hit song.... So my question to you all is - after you've worked and worked on your head transition and sirens, etc. do you notice that you cannot push any longer in your transitional area without basically shutting things off? Basically, that you can't take your chest up to that part of your range without it giving you issues and kind of shutting you down.

I think Youtube is great to try out to kind of see and listen to yourself. However, if you really want to be a singer, you need to get in front of people, not a camera. Also, when you're watching yourself, just like when you're listening to yourself, I don't think that's the best way to judge yourself. Personally, I ABSOLUTELY CAN'T STAND watching myself... doing anything. hate it and am super critical of it. A lot of players that I know feel similarly. As far as listening to myself, that's easier for me, however, if I THINK I'm singing a note on pitch, but I'm really not, I could miss that on playback-after all, I sang it that way and thought it was correct.
My advice (as a gigging person) is to hit open mics and karaoke places in your area. Check out the crowd reaction to your performance. Keep doing this. This will help you to gain confidence in front of people. Take someone with you that you trust. Listen to what they say. Have them record you on their phone. A video in front of a live audience is different than that in front of a PC (it'd still induce naseau if it was me watching me, but you may not have that issue ). If you don't have a band or play an instrument, get some backing tracks (they're everywhere). Work with those. For myself, singing for a small group of friends is impossible. I'm too hung up on myself. However, get me to a gig and a full audience and I relax and can do the job.
Singing is cool as something to do for yourself. However, if you want to be a SINGER, my advice is to get out in front of people. You learn A LOT doing that. You learn how to relate to an audience, how to hold yourself, etc. Sorry, didn't mean it to sound like a lecture.

Thanks Rob, just weird... You and I worked on stuff that I dropped (meaning you stopped some bad habits I had). I'm not sure what you mean about T&R and Q&R.
If I'm understanding the compression reference, it's like if put any kind of cry on it at all, it just blows apart. Nutty. That didn't used to be that way with me. Oh yeah, no pain or anything like that. Was feeling pretty loose actually.

So ever been in the middle of a gig and your voice just for no reason just spazzes out? Was doing a show last night. Did two sets. First set, my voice was great. I was singing things better than ever with a much lighter approach than I normally use. Lighter is pretty cool if you trust it (see Daniel Formica's trust video...). Hitting notes easily that I'll sometimes avoid if feeling tense. Wasn't pushing at all.
Just before the first break, I noticed a lack of resonance in some higher notes. It was almost like suddenly there was a pillow put over my chords. Really odd as this resonance was in the other 10 songs we did prior to this one. Did the last song before the break and figured "hey, maybe some phlegm was messing with things". Grabbed a salt shaker and a glass, headed for the bathroom and gargled a bit to try and get whatever seemed to be gumming up the works out of the pipes.
Came back on and somebody requested a ballad. Normally, this'd be further down the set, but it's not that tough of a song, so we started the set with it.
Did the ballad... and my voice comepletely checked out. Just completely dried up. The ONLY thing that got me through it was to relax and not put ANY (NONE) pressure on the chords at all. Really really strange. Usually, I can lean on my voice and it'll respond okay. Not lately. Anyway, so it was super funky. Did another tune that's usually a tough one and it was fine. Still a lack of resonance, but not like earlier, then the voice came back to normal and finished the gig fine.
This kind of stuff is SO frustrating for me. Doing everything right, but this stuff can still happen. I have no idea why and when my voice hangs me out to dry, I just want to quit because it drives me THAT nuts. It's like your voice says "Hey, I'm gonna kick you in the nuts right now and there's nothing you can do!" When yer voice checks out, then your playing (I play a variety of instruments too) goes to crap cuz you're freaking about your voice, etc.
Could hear myself fine. Didn't drink. Wasn't stressed out... but the voice just decides "hey, I'm going on a break".
This kind of stuff drives me Absolutely. Fricking. Crazy.
Another thing I've noticed lately, and I think it's related, I notice sometimes my speaking voice'll crack and get airy and also, my falsetto will lose that ping and again, be like a pillow's jammed in my mouth.
It's not to the David Lee Roth on Kimmel Factor, but man, nothing frustrates me more than this kinda stuff.
Grrr