Now you’re getting into the D&D that I remember from my pre-teen years. Dungeons were the only things we knew to do for the longest time. But we never bothered searching for loot in the first room. In fact, we never searched unless there was something to kill or the DM specifically mentioned something: a torch on the wall, a pile of bones.

I always figured Aragormless for a stoner, but after looking at the expression he’s got in this strip, I assume he’s been working his way through the more potent hallucinogens. Fear and Loathing on the Paths of the Dead, indeed.

And come on, its not just a bare room… there’s … um … the exciting rock formations! And the fog! And the pile of bones behind Gimli in panel 3! I mean… they’re just laying out in the open, right there! Lookit!

“The room is 10 x 10. No wait. It’s… crap. Okay, it’s 20 x 20. No- that means the hallway you were just in was 40 feet, so that 24 on your search roll should’ve been 20 feet before you got to the secret door. Wait- I know this room’s supposed to be 40 x 40, so that means each square’s 5 feet. I think. Hold on, is this the right map?”

Aragormless in panel 2 and panel 6. “Sweet smokin’ Conan” can you get much better screencaps? I got that irritated look from my assistant when I busted out laughing at his face in panel 6. Great strip again Shamus!! :D

i got so tired of my players saying “search for secret doors” in every room they encountered that i eventually just took to rolling the dice, ignoring the result and saying “you didn’t find the secret door.” every single time.

“Laddie, you may be a king, but you’re not MY king.”
“Hey, that’s right, you’re not my king either. Just who are you king of again?”
“I’m Aragorn, King of the Gondorians!”
“King of the who?”
“The Gondorians.”
“Who are the Gondorians?”
“Well, we all are. We are all Gondorians, and I am your king.”
“I didn’t know we had a king. I thought we were a Dwarvish mining concern.”
“You’re fooling yourself. We’re living in an Imladris: a self-perpetuating dream-state in which the immortals–”
“Oh, there you go bringing class into it again.”

“i got so tired of my players saying “search for secret doors” in every room they encountered that i eventually just took to rolling the dice, ignoring the result and saying “you didn't find the secret door.” every single time.”

This is the major problem with including a secret door or trap ANYWHERE in a dungeon. Once you’ve sprung that on players, they have to search every single room to check they haven’t missed either. After all, a proper secret door or trap is one that’s exactly where you don’t expect it, right?

I will say in response to the ‘searching for secret doors’ thing that I’ve pretty much just stopped using them in my campaigns all together. After many months of searching to no avail, the players just stopped looking for them.

This is the major problem with including a secret door or trap ANYWHERE in a dungeon. Once you've sprung that on players, they have to search every single room to check they haven't missed either. After all, a proper secret door or trap is one that's exactly where you don't expect it, right?

This is why I’ve never really understood the function of secret doors or traps.

If the PCs *don’t* find a secret door, what’s the point in it being there. If they do find it, why make it secret?

“Personally IÂ´m dying to see how the Hobbits are going to fit in at the very end of all this”

Actually, the ending of the ring fits in very well with this campaign. Dave shows back up, gets annoyed, and says, “Screw you and your railroading ways, I’m going to KEEP the ring!”

DM: “You what?!? Ummm, well, Gollum shows up, and he, umm, errr, BITES the finger with the ring off.”
Dave(Frodo): “Lame! I attack him to take it back. How do those darn grapple rolls work again?”
DM: “Well, Gollum rolls a 30 for initiative, and, umm, dances so madly with delight he FALLS into the lava with the ring before you can act. The ring is destroyed!”
All: “I hate this campaign!”

“DM: “You what?!? Ummm, well, Gollum shows up, and he, umm, errr, BITES the finger with the ring off.”
Dave(Frodo): “Lame! I attack him to take it back. How do those darn grapple rolls work again?”
DM: “Well, Gollum rolls a 30 for initiative, and, umm, dances so madly with delight he FALLS into the lava with the ring before you can act. The ring is destroyed!””

Ah, but remember, in this game Gollum is rotting at the bottom of the Anduin with Legolas’ arrow through his heart. Instead, the dialogue will go like this:

Dave: Screw you and your railroading ways, I’m going to KEEP the ring!”
DM: You what?!? Well, Gollum shows up and…oh, wait, he’s dead. Hmmm…OK, you’ve decided to keep the Ring?
Dave: Damn straight.
DM: Alright…you put it on your finger…
Dave: Go me!
DM: …which Sauron instantly detects; he sends his Nazgul to kill you horribly and bring the Ring to him. All the rest of the party — and everyone else in Middle-earth — lives miserably ever after, which isn’t very long.
All: I hate this campaign!
DM : But not for very long.

I guess that’s why I like to DM… no matter how much loot a DM would give me I couldn’t care less.. just words on the paper.. I was too into making it fun and dramatic.. I could just go home and write into my character sheet a bunch of loot.. so what.. the fun is the story.. I sooo felt like our dwarf here. … though I must say the room looks plenty big enough for a horse.. why did the DM make us leave our horses again??

I tend to deal with players who constantly search for treasure by giving them stuff.
Most recent dungeon-like segment was an enemy barracks. Every time they searched for treasure in a room that was extremely unlikely to contain any, I gave them a little useless something. The final list included (in addition to all the treasure which was supposed to be there in the officers’ quarters and the storerooms):
a sturdy leather belt
6 minotaur porno mags
a bunch of bananas
the last 3 pages of the script to “dude, where’s my spellbook”
a box of spent matches
3 corroded copper pieces
a large treause chest which had been welded shut (which was carried round for about 3 weeks before they found someone able to cut it open and discovered that it was empty)a loaf of bread
a glass jar with airholes in the lid
an orc’s jockstrap
a box of sequins, 3 needles and 16′ of curtain fabric
a pewter figure of an angel
another glass jar with airholes in the lid, this one containing a butterfly

I figured that after a while, they’d give up on collecting this stuff.

I have to admit I am guilty of endless secret door and trap searching. Comes from playing years of playing Angband. Now if only “detect hidden traps/doors” were a spell you could cast every 30 seconds in D&D like it is in Angband.

I like the fact how Gimli’s mood the particular night affects his gameplay, like how in the start he was a very serious roleplayer and the he would become some uber powergamer before he has returned as the hardcore roleplayer I love him as!

The real problem with the angel solution is that players occasionally find uses for the items that you give them. I once gave a guy a partly burnt up stick of fire wood, when he decided to search an abandoned camp site.

The things he managed to accomplish with that two foot pole made me glad nobody ever thought to buy a ten foot one.