Saturday, October 1, 2011

What is this medieval torture device? It bears (pears? *rimshot*) a striking resemblance to the "pear of anguish," actually. (Now you get the joke. /*rimshot*)

This thing looks like a lunchbox packed for The Gimp in Pulp Fiction.

If I wanted to spice up my marriage, I would reach into a small, nondescript shoebox at the back of my closet and pull out one of these. If my wife then refused to speak with my kinky ass for a week and we never spoke of it again, this is the device I would be caught applying to a high-salary call girl when I should have been on my congressionally-funded fact-finding tour.

Also, it might be made from the smelted remains of an old Swamp Thing: The Animated Series toys I had as a kid.