Friday, August 18, 2006

Now that I have your attention, let me tell youa little story. In 1988 I was a Housekeeping Manager at a Courtyard by Marriott in the sunnydestination of Detroit Michigan. For some odd reason,one of the jobs I was tasked with, was making sure thatthere were no cigarette butts in the parking lot.Ironically, this was probably the closest I've ever comein my life to becoming a smoker. All...and I'm notexaggerating here...my friends and co-workers smoked.In fact, that dark cloud you'd see rising above Detroit wasn't from industry...it' was from all the smokers. In 1988, everybody in Detroit smoked...Surgeon General be damned! So after smoking 3 of the 5 cigarettes I've smoken (is that a word?) I escaped both Detroit, andany possibility of me becoming a smoker. I have nothing against smokers. Some of my best friendsover the years have smoked...and I think most of them are still alive.

Now...back to the parking lot. While stooping and bending countless thousands of times, gatheringnasty butts from the ground and placing them ina plastic bag, I concocted the following scheme.I would lobby my local, county, state and federalofficials to place a minimal deposit on each cigaretteso that people wouldn't throw their butts on the ground. This worked in Michigan where there isa 10 cent deposit on each bottle or can. There areabsolutely zero cans or bottles on the ground anywhere in Michigan. If nothing else, the buttdeposit would give the homeless something to doand some money in their pocket.

In 1989, I left Detroit and my "dream" of a buttdeposit ended...or did it?

According to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel in 2001:"Under a proposed law thought to be the first of its kind in the nation, smokers would pay a surcharge forevery cigarette pack they buy in Maine. Then they couldredeem the butts for a nickel each."It's not a joke," said the bill's sponsor, Rep. Joseph Brooks,who modeled the legislation after Maine's bottle-return law,which requires consumers to pay a 5-cent deposit on mostsoft-drink and beer bottles.With more and more smokers forced outside, Brooks noted the piles of butts appear where pockets of puffers congregate.And the trash tends to stick around because, he said, filters are not biodegradable.

So I'm guessing that Rep. Brooks also had to pick up buttsin a parking lot once in his life and was inspired. However,my idea came a full 11 years before his. If this law ever passes, I want credit for it's inspiration.

It only makes sense that state governments would want tosupport a bill like this. They could charge a huge depositon a pack of cigarettes and collect tons of money frompeople who would never turn in their butts for a refundfor a specific reason:

Tom's Theory on people. (Yes this is controversial and if you're the least bit squeamish...go to another web page or look at my pretty pictures instead)

Ahem...1. People are stupid 2. People are lazy 3. Usually in that order

And this comes from someone who genuinely likes people.Think how anti-social types must feel...

Here are the results of the cigarette deposit:1. Some people will be too stupid or lazy to keep their butts.2. Uncollected refunds will be kept by the states for schools for environmental awareness education. Not for anti-smoking education. If people want to smoke...let them.3. If people are still flicking their butts and not turning them in for a refund, people will scour the roadsides and parking lots for discarded butts...helping both the economy and the environment4. Less roadside wildfires in dry states from discarded butts5. A sense of self gratification for me because I thought of the idea

So there you go. All this brought on by some angry lookingwoman that flicked a butt near my feet today at a local stripmall. I started to give her a dirty look, but then reconsidered,put a smile on my face, and placed the empty pop can that Ipicked up in the parking lot into the trash can.

Yes, I have too much time on my hands and I am a geek.So there!Have a nice day!

I love this post. Fantastic Idea! Ok, so I will now think more about where I leave my disgusting cigarette butts. Which by the way I have never tossed at someone's feet. Also I'm not sure I would ever save them, money or not they smell too gross.