Last weekend, thanks to City of Water Day, I decide to take a (FREE!) boat tour of the creek hosted by the inimitable Mitch Waxman. As has been the case in times past (this makes my third sojourn up to the creek), it did not disappoint. Not only did I bear witness to a fellow catching a little shut-eye at our very own Nature Walk, but I learned an interesting fact shortly after the above photo (which hails from the Long Island City side of Newtown Creek) was taken. Our fair creek is not just host to Typhus, but also Cholera and Gonorrhea. If this isn’t a trifecta of fun, I honestly do not know what is. I feel compelled to note that this fact was rolled out after a fellow tour goer was observed balancing his child on the rail of the boat so as to take photos with his smart phone. You can’t make this shit up.

In any case, follows are some highlights of my trip to, from and up the creek.* I have even included a photo of a CSO (Concentrated Sewage Overflow) for your late afternoon/early evening entertainment. Enjoy!

*A task which involved going to Governor’s Island. This was rendered more complicated by the fact Greenpoint still remains without ferry service.

Well, it has been yours truly’s observation that March 17th, not unlike Cinco De Mayo, is regrettably pressed into service so certain folks can go forth and act like drunken imbeciles. All they need is a location and an excuse (not unlike Santacon)— which brings me to where I found the above image: Queens Crap. Read on North Brooklynites, you’ll find this interesting.

Queens Crap reports that fire was in effect at yesterday’s “Flea Market” event at the Knockdown Center. Speaking as a north Brooklynite, I have seen my fair share of that shit. It is usually accompanied by drum circles.

…It has also been brought to my attention that David Sklar is operating a niteclub/arts center at 15 Rewe Street in Brooklyn which is in a really sketchy area. It also was formerly home to a door factory owned by the Sklars, just like the Knockdown Center was…

I have a much different definition of what constitutes a “sketchy area” than my comrade in Queens. However, I can assure you 15 Rewe Street is owned by David Sklar. And hosting parties, however legally questionable they were, did come to pass at 15 Rewe Street. Let’s start by establishing who actually owns 15 Rewe Street:

15 Rewe Street LLC.* Okay, let’s check this out on the New York State Attorney General’s Corporation’s Database.

Hmm.

Perhaps we should check out the Department of Buildings BIS system?

Yes, this is quite interesting. Let’s go in for a better look!

Oh my, it would appear 15 Rewe Street (which is located in an Industrial Business Zone)— at the instigation of David Sklar— was planning a party.

A really BIG party.

For those of you who cannot read it (I for one could not), follows are the amenities this event/space had to offer:

Venue Details
70,000 square feet of indoor space
40,000 square feet out door
Located on a private street
MEGA production with L’Acoustics Sound, Lighting, Lasers, Special Effects, Video, and extra Video Wall, Large Concert style stage tons of extras
Live performance art
Multi Level VIP Risers
Chill out seating area for all with Sofa’s & Carpeting
Plenty of Bathrooms
Large Coat Check
Gourmet Food Trucks
Food on site
Multiple BarsConveniently located steps away from L train (Grand Street)
ATM’s on Site
All Major Credit Cards accepted
Liquor will be served
Bottle Service Available.
Smoking section outside on the water\
Dada Life Merchandise for purchase at the event

What’s more, even Timeout New York was “on” to this whole “compound” thing.

Hmm. I wonder how this got past Community Board 1 Brooklyn or the State Liquor Authority? In any case and to wrap this up, the image gracing the beginning of this post is (by all appearances) from “Dada Life’s” New Year’s Party at 15 Rewe Street.

Which we have established is owned by David Sklar. Who had this to say about why the Knockdown Center should be granted a liquor license at Community Board 5:

Does anyone really believe that in a building with the capacity to hold 5,000, only 600 people will be served alcohol? And at what type of events? There have been drug busts at “raves” in other area factories that have been converted into clubs. It seems that “up to 600” has been chosen to avoid having to obtain a cabaret liquor permit from the State Liquor Authority (which is different from the city’s required cabaret license).

How would 5,000 people even get to Maspeth? Public transportation is lacking. Where will the parking be when the yard is in use (which is often)? And should people be driving around after they have been drinking at a club all night?

This venue would no doubt become a trouble spot for the NYPD. The 104th precinct is already stretched way too thin.

There are row houses on the same block as the venue and a residential community sits right across the street. When the club-goers start leaving during the wee hours of the morning, they will cause problems for the residents of the area. Complaints have already been received about noise and crowds at this location.

Did I mention they are also presently selling liquor already? They are— via Roberta’sno less. Please read this entire tome for yourselves, gentle readers. It is quite something.

UPDATE, 7:48 p.m.: It would appear the matter of the Knockdown Center has been noticed by the New York Daily News. You can read their coverage by clicking here. Choice excerpt/teaser:

…City Councilwoman Elizabeth Crowley (D-Middle Village), whose district includes other portions of Maspeth, has been the business’s lone champion, saying it will bring much-needed jobs to the community.

“It seems like a good way to revitalize the factory,” said Crowley, who added one of the investors — Gina Argento — also owns Broadway Stages, which employs more than 1,500 people at its Brooklyn site.

“Those are good union jobs,” Crowley said about Broadway Stages. “I have known the owners for a long time. They also do good philanthropic work.”

So why not make this another film facility instead? This would certainly be better than the thirty jobs the Knockdown Center claims it will create if given a liquor license. But there I go using “logic” again…

As I noted recently, McGuinness Boulevard is no longer the record holder for stolen access covers. This dubious distinction is now held by Maspeth’s Grand Avenue. I spied a whopping thirteen missing covers in a mere half mile stretch. That’s the bad news. Now onto the good news: if the following email forwarded to yours truly via an anonymous tipster is any indication, our friends across the creek are taking this matter quite seriously.