ABOUT THE AUTHORDavid Milner was born in a Stepford-like North London suburb, of mixed parentage: (they were of contrasting genders, and half of them were Jewish). The local grammar school launched him into Higher Education where he received an undeserved degree in Psychology from University College, Cardiff, and a Ph.D from the University of Bristol: surprisingly, as his school-teachers had thought him a bit thick. After some adventures he got a lectureship at the Polytechnic of Central London/University of Westminster and helped to build a top-rated Department of Psychology there. Slowly he slept his way to the top and was made Professor of Social Psychology. He remained at the Poly/Uni for 30 years, partly through loyalty, but more because he was too shy to ask the way out. His lifelong special interest was Racism and yet he signally failed to eradicate it. He is grateful that his writing attracted the attention of the Jimmy Young Programme, providing the jewel in the crown of his broadcasting career. He is the author of two books, and many, many articles and chapters which some have found helpful for insomnia problems. He has been married twice, each time for ten years. While he has clearly not got the hang of it he remains hopeful. He is an Orthodox Tottenham Hotspur supporter, which shows there are still some people who put emotion before reason; maybe that was the problem with the marriages, too.

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THE OLDER BROTHER My best friend's much older brother wouLd sometimes appear before us totally naked, with a degree of tumescence not often seen outside a stables.

THE GREAT STORMHalfway through the night a lot of the roof blew off. Stargazing from a warm bed can be captivating. though not when driving rain soaks you and your duvet, and slates fall into the pool which was your Berber carpet, Time dragged: how I wished I had bought that Inflatable Scrabble set from the Innovations catalogue.

SALOPShropshire is Proper Rural. In our part, animals definitely outnumbered humans. If they had been given the vote a cow would have been returned to Westminster as an MP for the first time since Mrs Thatcher.

WEALTH I had a rationalisation for enjoying our newfound affluence, despite my socialism: "best to know your enemy from within, the better to strike at the soft under-belly of Capitalism with stealth and surprise". I made that up but think it has the ring of authenticity, if tending more towards Chinese than Soviet communism, which I didn't..

SHOP My father's archaic disciplinary code required stoning shop girls to death for anything other than prostrate obsequiousness to customers: it was a kind of Litvak-Jewish Sharia law for chemist's shops.