Get ready to throw the baby out the window and let the joint burn down, as Al "Carnival Time" Johnson put it. Because the calendar says that Tuesday (Aug. 15) is exactly six months to Feb. 13, 2018, which means WE'RE HALFWAY TO MARDI GRAS, Y'ALL!

There are probably already a few people spray painting rectangles on Orleans Avenue to stake out a good spot for the Endymion parade. Women will soon begin scouring the Goodwill shelves for high-heeled shoes upon which to glue sequins and high school marching bands better get started practicing "The Hey Song."

By the way, did you know that "The Hey Song" is actually called "Rock 'N' Roll Part 2," and was written by Garry Glitter in 1972. Could there be a more Mardi Gras-esque song? Watch the video.

No place is busier preparing for Mardi Gras 2018 than Kern Studios. According to the boss, Barry Kern, there are about 100 designers, artists, electricians, mechanics, and office staff currently pitching in to build more than 450 floats for 18 krewes, including Zulu, Rex, Muses, Endymion, and Bacchus. When Carnival season comes, Kern said, the staff will grow to something like 500, counting the tractor drivers and other seasonal employees.

The floats are in different stages of completion, Kern said. Lots of the work involves old-school, hands-on craftsmanship like custom carpentry and painting. But there's also a computer-guided one-armed robot called Pixie that carves sculptures from big blocks of white foam, kicking up a plastic blizzard as it goes. Kern said that Pixie should put Kern Studios technologically ahead of the competition for years and years to come.

There are approximately 11 other float builders in town, but Kern is the biggest. Kern said that when his dad Blaine got the business rolling, so to speak, in the years after World War II, float building might have been a three-month occupation. But these days, it's 12 months per year for sure.

In fact, he said, the designers are already aware of the themes for some 2019 parades. Plus, he said, the New Orleans-based business does work year round for parades, theme parks, and 3-D billboards from Japan to Brazil, to the Las Vegas strip.

It's a multi-million-dollar operation, of course. Kern said that, depending on the complexity, the floats that will roll past us in six months can cost between thousands of dollars and millions of dollars each.

Kern said he's not particularly stressed about the amount of work that needs to get done before Mardi Gras 2018. Unless, heaven forbid, something like Hurricane Katrina took place, not much can slow down the process.

"I mean, for us as a company, we're very comfortable where we are," Kern said. "We've got a lot on our plate, but we'll get it done. In fact, we've got more than ever to do this year, but I'm more confident than ever."

The 3,060 men of the superkrewe Endymion roll down Canal Street with their 51st annual parade entitled "Endymion's Constellations" on Saturday, February 25, 2017. (Photo by Michael DeMocker, NOLA.com | The Times-Picayune)

And somebody's got to stock up on the throws

Dan Kelly, the president of Beads by the Dozen, one of New Orleans' biggest Carnival throw providers, said that by Mardi Gras 2018, roughly 125 shipping containers of beads and baubles will make their way from China to the Crescent City. Each 40-foot container, he said, will carry something like 42,000 pounds of plastic treasure bound for our outstretched hands.

As many as 50 containers are already on their way, Kelly said. They'll arrive three per week, until October, when they'll be showing up five or six per week. By November, 10 to 15 will arrive per week. All of the krewes want their throws by January, Kelly said, especially since this year, Mardi Gras falls relatively early.

Each container load of throws, Kelly said, costs between $40,000 and $50,000 to bring in. The multi-million-dollar company employs 40 people year round.

Kelly said that the necklaces and trinkets that are specially designed by his staff artists for specific krewes are the last throws to arrive. The deadline for the marching organizations to place their orders is the halfway point, Aug. 15. The designs must remain secret in order to not prematurely reveal the krewes' themes, and so that competitors don't copy the concepts.

Kelly said that there are six or seven other major throw importers in the area and the business continues to grow.

"We're looking forward to a big Mardi Gras this year," he said. "Most krewes seem to have more members. Mardi Gras just seems to get bigger and bigger every year."

New Orleans oldest superkrewe, Bacchus is celebrating its golden anniversary this year, according to captain Clark Brennan, and the beyond-popular Uptown parade is growing slightly, from 1,400 riders to 1,500 riders.

That expantion is made possible by two new mega floats. The Bacchaneer will be an enormous high-tech pirate ship.

The Bacchakong is a three-part float that will be the new home of the much beloved Bacchus giant gorilla family: Kong, Mama Kong, and Baby Kong.

Brennan said he wasn't aware that the halfway point to Mardi Gras was approaching, because "Mardi Gras really never stops for us."

Muse news: new float

Muses captain Staci Rosenberg won't go into detail, but she promises that the krewe will unveil a spectacular new officers' float this year. Susan Gisleson, the co-designer of the stunning 2013 Sirens float, is contributing to the concept.

"We plan to outdo ourselves with some techniques that have never been seen before at Mardi Gras," Rosenberg said.

Mid-Summer Mardi Gras is Saturday!

If six months seems like an awful long time to wait, here's some good news. The annual Krewe of OAK Mid-Summer Mardi Gras parade takes place starting at 7:30 p.m. on Saturday, Aug. 19.

As usual, the parade will begin near the Maple Leaf Bar at 8316 Oak St., travel to Palmer Park and back. Palmer Park lies on the corner of South Carrollton and South Claiborne Avenues. Some estimates put the number of paraders as high as 10,000.

Note: This story was updated at 5:30 p.m., August 14, to give Al "Carnival Time" Johnson credit for the first sentence.