San Francisco is a unique city not quite like any other. Hills everywhere, no parking anywhere, expensive bars/restaurants, and hotels just about everywhere, and public transportation that is as convenient as public transportation can be, in other words bring good walking shoes.

Even short driving trips will make you mad at the world and want you to give up your vehicle. Once you do you can relax as I did in search of the perfect Martini.

Or the not so perfect Martini.

It was 3pm and my friend Matt and I arrived in a local bar after a long walk involving too many hills. I forgot the name of the place, but after this story they will thank me for not mentioning the name.

We both sat down at the bar and we were greeted by an attractive Asian bartender whom could barely speak English. Matt is ordering a Martini trying to explain that he wants his Martini “Extra Dirty”.

I thought this was common knowledge for a bartender to know what this means. Not at this place.

She kept repeating “Extra Dirty” with a confused look and in broken English probably thinking my friend wanted to do something “extra dirty” to her.

Eventually he received an awesome Grey Goose Martini and it was only $5. I am not sure if this is a special price or if the bartender was confused.

Most places in San Francisco, you are lucky to find a $5 beer.

After about two delicious martinis, the confused bartender perfected the extra dirty Martini and we now had a Martini with enough olive juice to kill a small horse.

Now enter Bartender #2. He was tall, loud, friendly, and very happy that it was almost St. Patrick’s Day. He was also very hammered.

Drunk, shitfaced, or saucy whatever you want to call it. Keep in mind that it is only 330 or 4pm now.

He was taking shots with customers, being rowdy and loud. At least this place wasn’t boring.

Next Matt orders a Grey Goose Martini (vodka) and I order a Tanqueray and Tonic (gin).

The drunk bartender made the most fascinating strange Martini either of us has ever encountered. Matt was lucky enough to taste the strange creation.

He must have misunderstood what we wanted because the drink contained at least 2-3 shots of Grey Goose and 1-2 shots of Tanqueray. It was shaken but it also contained a bunch of ice served in a Martini glass (see below for picture).

Cost- Only $7.

I never received my gin and tonic.

Another amazing discovery was The King of Thai Noodle. Really great food, a Lychee Martini, great service, and the best Thai food for a very affordable price ($2-$3 beers and $5 entrees) . Eat like a king on a peasant’s budget.

Tired of expensive hotels? Try the Green Tortoise Hostel and stay in San Francisco for only $28-$90 a night.

San Francisco is a walking city and along your journey you will encounter great martinis, and other creations. Just have fun and make the most out of it and you will enjoy a fun saucy walk of San Francisco. All other bars we visited had amazing Martinis, see below to see where we went.