It's always good to be reminded of how different things can be elsewhere in England, especially if, like most of us, you live in or near a big city. Take Lincolnshire, for example: if you want to get away from the modern world, take time off in company with the Louth Leader.

Education there, this week at least, is concerned with tweaks to the 11-plus exam which for 90%-plus of the country is ancient history. After much pondering, the town's King Edward VI grammar school (and, blimey, didn't that short-lived monarch found a lot? There are KEGSs all over the place) is going for an all-out meritocratic system.

In recent years, the Leader explains, the annual intake of 120 pupils was chosen relatively subtly, balancing home addresses and county council catchments with straightforward pass or fail. From now on, if parents and governors approve, it's to be the straight top-120 examinees. Just like when I was young.

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And are they knee-jerk anti-fastfooders in the county of the sausage? They are not. Another nostalgic side to Louth is that people there are actually campaigning to get a McDonald's in the town.

A Facebook page devoted to the cause has been set up by a burger-lover with the online name Fatbiker. It's getting messages in the internet's own special version of English such as: "They shud make one in the town centre in Louth so people who shop in Louth can eat der instead of having fish and chips".

Another fan emails in support of any fast-food outlet "… be it KFC or BK (Burger King) or McD's". Opponents alarmed about the effect on what the Leader calls "Louth's traditional charm" have also posted, but they are definitely in a minority.

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Paying for online content is more than ever in the news, and the Louth Leader is one of a growing number of local papers which now run abbreviated stories online, with the payoff: 'Buy this week's edition to read the full story.' No such restrictions yet in east Lancashire where I've been following the Evening Telegraph's stories about growing pick-your-own vegetables in public flowerbeds, and passing them on (the stories not the veg) to Guardian readers.

Reporter Nazia Parveen was first in the field on this, describing how Clitheroe (a sort of Lancashire Louth) is considering putting veg instead of flowers in the three-tier municipal displays which make the place prettier than ever in the summer. The idea has been immensely successful in nearby Todmorden, the town which uniquely straddles the Roses border. You can spend happy hours reading about Incredible Edible Tod in the Todmorden News.

Now Nazia's colleagues are joining in with planting-related tales – David Watkinson, for example, reports this week that Waddow Hall Girl Guides' centre has just planted a tree dedicated to all the former baddies who have done their community service orders at the old manor house.

The local Tory MP Nigel Evans raises his eyebrows at this, but the Guides say firmly that the ex-offenders have done brilliant work building amphitheatres for campfires, making a Japanese garden, plastering and painting accommodation huts and helping to maintain the buildings and grounds.

Telegraph readers seem sceptical about the thank-you tree. Anthonyh from Blackburn emails: "I am going to go out tomorrow and commit a crime so that I can get a tree planted for me." But I wouldn't mess with Waddon Hall myself. It's haunted by the ghost of servant girl Peg O'Neill who had a doomed love affair with the master and fell down a well. You can find out what she gets up to on BBC Lancashire's Short & Spooky.

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I'm afraid I've long since stopped going to Harry Ramsden's, the famous Guiseley chip shop which fell into the hands of franchisers and has been through as many owners since as, well, you or I have had hot dinners. But here's news of the latest anyway, from the Yorkshire Post.

He's Banjit Boparan from West Brom who last year rescued the Fishworks restaurant chain from administration and has a reputation for building businesses after takeover, rather than asset-stripping. His most interesting promise is to restore the original Harry's service, value and quality, along with opening another 100 outlets on top of the 36 already operating.

Good luck to him, because that would mean a lot of jobs. But in the manner of the nostalgic elderly, I like our tiny local independent chippy; although I can also warmly recommend Murgatroyd's of Yeadon, Westfield Fisheries on the edge of Guiseley and Bryan's in Far Headingley, all in the larger league, if you're in this part of the world.

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I occasionally enjoy issuing tweets on the social messaging site Twitter, usually in sudden bursts of successive thoughts linked by ellipses (dot-dot-dots) because I can't stick to the 140-character limit. No such joy for the stars of Manchester's twin football clubs (by the way, exciting stuff in the derby, lads, many thanks), according to the Manchester Evening News (MEN) .

Both teams have been advised not to use Twitter or Facebook after a string of imposters appeared on the web pretending to be Wayne Rooney, Carlos Tevez and Rio Ferdinand. It's all a bit sad, like so much misuse of that otherwise marvellous instrument, the web. United offers a motto for anyone online: treat all supposed players' web contributions "with extreme scepticism".

Techies in the north-west hit back in the MEN, however, urging the clubs to go on the offensive and help the players with genuine sites, as well as seeking out and destroying the evil-doers. Martin Bryant, of Marketing Manchester, says: "Twitter especially is a reflection of who you really are." If you want to know who I really am, the secret lies (occasionally) here.

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Talking of web influence, the old power of the press to punish court offenders has been much-enhanced by online media. When I was a young trainee in Bath, I used to sit in the magistrates court and worry about the fact that my few lines had the potential to do more damage to a minor offender than the fine or conditional discharge handed down by the bench.

Now consider the case of Adeel Ayub in Preston, who has just been convicted of sabotaging food in Asda for reasons which, in spite of the best efforts of the local Evening Post, remain obscure. Whatever, the 30-year-old has gone down for two months, but much worse, a former colleague's video of him in action – apparently licking a raw chicken at the store – was shown in court and is now up on the paper's website.

It gives new meaning to all those finger-lickin' slogans about chicken of another sort. But I guess, as I convinced myself on the press bench in Bath all those years ago, it deters repeat offending.

Martin Wainwright recommends

For a Yorkshireman, I am spending a lot of time in Lancashire this week, and that applies to my recommendation too. Why not do as I did, and take an off-season jaunt to Blackpool. My ace photographer colleague and I went up the tower in Arctic conditions to make the second film in the Guardian's Britain's Best View series. (Check out our first on dear little Roseberry Topping.)

The tower isn't open at the moment – it was really, really cold up there anyway – but the grand old place offers no end of other things to do. There is also a special charm about resorts out of season, particularly if words such as "wistful" strike a chord with you. If Blackpool's too far, try Scarborough, New Brighton or Cleethorpes instead.