Isn’t that gorgeous? That’s a potato flower and my trash can potatoes are covered in them. The plants have grown so much that the dirt reached the top of the can a couple of weeks ago. I have been waiting to see how long it will take from the time it reaches the top to the time the plants die and I get to harvest the taters. I stopped adding dirt on June 20th, so that makes today the 18th day of growth. The plants are are still going strong and my trash can looks like the world’s largest and most awkward potted plant. I love the reaction when people come over. It’s always the same question with the same odd look and slightly disturbed tone: “What do you have growing in your trash can?” Look at this! I’d ask too.

I got to harvest my first three Roma tomatoes this weekend. They are tiny, and I made a mistake, so they don’t look very appetizing.

That lovely little split is on all three of them. The other two wouldn’t allow me to take a picture of their cracks. They were so ashamed! I’m so sorry, little tomatoes, it’s me not you. Really, it is! We went through a couple of weeks of no rain up here in Tenn-tucky and I watered often. I did not, however, water deeply enough. Then, we went through a week of Heaven unleashed! The rain was incredible. My little maters do what maters do and sucked up all that water and grew quickly. But, because I had not watered deeply enough during the dry weeks, the insides grew faster than the outsides and they split. If I start watering more deeply during the dry spells, this should keep the growth even and all of the other green tomatoes should be fine. You can eat a split tomato, but they aren’t pretty and they won’t last more than a day or so.

My potatoes are teenagers! They’re almost to the top of my garbage can and almost done growing, or are they? It’s hard to say what they’re doing down there under the dirt; I can’t see into that secret world. I have given them a comfortable bed to grow in, nurtured them with water and food, and I have given them room to grow. I’ve done everything I can possibly do to help them turn out well. Pretty soon the dirt will reach the top, and other than occasional help with water and making sure they are in the right spot on the patio, my job will be done. I can only watch and wait to see what they do with all they’ve been given. It’s nerve wracking. I have put a lot of effort, love and hope into growing these potatoes, but in the end, I get no real say in how they turn out. I want them to do well, produce much and maybe make a nice hash.

Ok, so that’s where the metaphor falls apart. I really don’t want my kid to make a nice hash, but you can see where I’m going with this. My youngest is four. We’re still in the posting-on-Facebook-every-cute-thing-my-kid-says phase with him. The eldest is 15 and in the same phase as my potatoes. In three short years, he graduates high school. Wow! That blows my mind. I want him to go to college. I want him to have a good career. I want him to have a happy life. I want so much for him and I have put a lot of love, effort and hope towards that end. The next step, however, is completely up to him. The only thing I get to do is sit back, watch and give the occasional needed input.

I’ve heard it said that the hardest part of raising children is that if you’re doing it right, you’re raising them not to need you any more. He’ll always need me in his life, I hope, for the love I give him and for that precious mother-son relationship. He might even come to me for advice every now and then. But, if I’ve done my job right, he won’t need me making his decisions and directing all his paths. I sure hope I’ve done my job right.

Isn’t that pretty? My zucchini plants are huge and they have these beautiful flowers all over them. I just love squash flowers. I didn’t know they had such beautiful flowers until I accidentally grew a pumpkin patch. One year, we threw all of the pumpkin seeds from our jack o’lantern into the front flower bed. That flower bed was a bird magnet, so I figured they’d all get eaten up. The following spring, some nasty little caterpillar attacked the bushes and they had to be all torn out. Not having the cash to dole out for new bushes, I planted some seasonal flowers instead. When they died off in the fall, suddenly a whole patch of pumpkin plants grew in. It was so cool! We never got pumpkins out of it because of a freak early freeze, but the flowers were stunning!

The zucchini flowers are neat. They open up in the morning and close up in the evening. I’m not sure how long before they die off into actual zucchini. Good thing I’m mad for the little green squash or I would seriously mourn the loss of those flowers!

My strawberries, on the other hand, my poor little strawberries… We went camping last weekend in Fort Mountain State Park, GA, and while we were gone, something ran amuck in my berries! I don’t know if it was a bird, but I’m thinking maybe a squirrel made the breakthrough because the fishing line was snapped. Birds hate fishing line, but have you ever watched squirrels break through all those “squirrel proof” bird feeders? Squirrels are a lot like honey badger, squirrel don’t care! I may be casting aspersions on my little furry-tailed rodent neighbors, but I feel pretty comfortable in my assessment.

Guess what? The tomato rallied! I’m so glad I didn’t give up on the little guy. I have cute jelly bean shaped Roma tomatoes starting to grow.

The plant still isn’t very large, but I’m growing actual maters. Yay me!

I added dirt to the trash can potatoes before we left to go camping and in the three short days we were gone, they grew so much I had to add more!

It’s really neat how you keep adding dirt, and the plants keep adding potatoes. But, it’s also kind of odd too. You don’t just cover up stalk, you have to cover up the leaves and branches that are lower down too. It makes me feel kind of like the bad dude in a Hitchcock film. Seriously, I’m burying something alive in order to make it grow into what I want it to be. A little creepy! The plant responds very quickly and starts growing back up out of the dirt. I’m trying to decide if it’s happily growing upward or trying to escape a premature grave!

And this is why I write. Can you imagine if I kept all that craziness locked up in my skull? Screaming potato plant leaves struggling to escape the suffocating dirt? Nope, it’s much better to let it out in a good, entertaining story!

The strawberry! I walked out to check on my garden this morning and scared the poo out of several feathered friends feasting on my strawberries! Doggone birds really did a number on my two little plants. I’m not too worried about the strawberries because I was never going to get enough fruit to do much with out of my two little plants. Those were just for my strawberry loving four-year-old to enjoy growing. We’ll go picking at a local farm to fill his berry needs. But, my zucchini have grown by leaps and bounds and I will pluck a bird who touches my zucchini!

Simon and I took action! We looked up on the Old Farmer’s Almanac for ideas. Who knows more about gardening than an old farmer? Umm, nobody! The old farmer said to string some fishing line around the bed and to put up stuff like balloons to scare them away. Ok, fishing line – check!

Scary stuff? Hmm… I’m out of balloons and a storm is coming, so we’re staying home this morning. How about a scarecrow? I figured we could dress up an old stuffed animal and asked Simon for one he didn’t want. He told me he had a scary stuffed animal and brought me this thing.

Yeah, that is a strange one! He got that at Busch Gardens and I’ve always thought it was pretty weird. We attached it to an old spring-loaded drapery rod and now it’s out there just a-bobbin and a-weavin away, waving it’s crazy, rubber hair all in the breeze! And so far, so good. I watched one little birdie bump into to the wire, fall back and curse like a sailor before he flew away. I think he might of even flipped me off! Then another little bird hopped up from the ground and sat courageously on the box, until Mr. Strange Scarecrow moved in the breeze. You could almost hear him yell, “Holy *@$%! What is that thing?!” It was awesome.

I don’t know how long or how well this will work, but we will try to stay one step ahead of those flying thieves. One thing we don’t have to worry about the birds stealing is the potatoes. They grow under the dirt – yeah! Of course, there are all kinds of little bugs we have to watch out for. This growing stuff is not easy, I tell ya. But it’s fun! My trash can potatoes are growing like wild fire.

It will be time to add my next layer of dirt soon, maybe even next week. I’ll let you know! My tomatoes look like they might rally and come back. I was all ready to go replace the plant, and then this morning he started looking pretty spry. Giving up on him just doesn’t seem quite right. Man, am I a sucker for the underdog. Of course, when it comes to gardening, I am the underdog. Ok, tomato plant, we’re in this together. I’ve got your back with the water, the feeding and the weeding. It’s up to you to grow and I know you can do it. Now, get out there and fight like the confusing really-a-fruit-and-not-a-vegetable you are!

Remember those trash can potatoes I planted a week ago? They’re starting to pop up out of the dirt! Check it out:

Do you see that? They’re teeny, but mighty, and there are several of them. I’m so excited! My summer strawberries are going well too. I had more space for them than I realized, so I think I will plant a couple more. According to the zone planting guide, I still have a little time to get them in the ground.

Now for the other plants, things are going a little differently since I released them from their earth plant prison. The zucchini are starting to take off rather well. Although one of the plants is stumbling along quite a bit slower than the others, all four plants have sprouted new leaves and have these pretty little buds in the middle.

I love how vibrantly golden and green they are. My peppers are very slowly starting to respond like a petulant teenager bent on proving that although you can make him do it, you can’t make him do it quickly. I’m holding out hope. But the tomato plant… oh the tomato plant.

Poor guy looks completely tuckered out and I’m not sure he’s up to the task of bouncing back. He’s not getting any bigger and I’m not sure he will be able to support the tomatoes that might grow from those two sad little buds he sporting. I’m giving him just a little more time, and then if he doesn’t make it, I fully intend on cheating. The Amish garden store has some lovely tomato plants that are quite a bit further along and ready for purchase. I just really want to grow an actual tomato and then slice it up on a toasted BLT. I have big dreams!

“Do you have a limited garden space?” What a nice way to say I have a small backyard!

“Well, then, why haven’t you tried trash can potatoes?” Um, say what?

Apparently, you can grow potatoes, a lot of potatoes, in a trash can. Ok, let’s give it a shot! I looked through several sites and YouTube videos, and this is a collection of the information I found. For the most part, everybody said pretty much the same thing.

First, I needed to locate seed potatoes. Ordinary supermarket potatoes have been sprayed with something called “stop bud” to keep them from becoming potato plants before they get bought. You can find seed potatoes at some garden centers, or you can use organic potatoes that haven’t been sprayed. Now that we are at Fort Campbell, I can drive a short distance away to the Amish stores, and since I love any excuse to go to the Amish stores, that’s where I bought my potatoes. Check out these blooming beauties! Fifty cents a pop and they came with a sidecar of charming conversation with a lovely Amish grandma, as well as a fun time getting lost in the country with a good friend.

The next thing I needed was a 30 gallon garbage can and a bag of potting soil. Potatoes are particular about water; too little and they get all misshapen, too much and they quickly rot. So, I used a moisture control potting soil that had been premixed with compost. It’s slightly more expensive than regular potting soil, but given that I am such a growing stuff novice, I felt it was a good investment. I also drilled out holes in the bottom of the garbage can and about six inches up the sides to ensure good drainage.

Now, it’s time to plant! I chose two small potatoes and two large ones to conduct my potato experiment. With the large ones, you are supposed to cut the buds off with a big chunk of the potato rather than burying the whole potato, like you do with the small ones. So, I have two cut potatoes, and two whole ones. I buried them in six inches of dirt and put the can out on the patio where it will get at least 6 hours of sun a day.

Pretty impressive can o’ dirt, don’t ya think? And yes, that’s my A/C unit. Now, when the potato plants grow up six inches, I add three inches of dirt. When they grow six more, I add three more inches dirt, and so on and so forth. When the can is full, I continue to water like I have been (so that the soil is moist, but not soaked), and when the plants grow yellow and die, it’s time to harvest! Just turn the can over and pull out the potatoes. That’s supposed to happen sometime around mid to late summer. I think I can do this!