They’ve always been really sensitive and I can remember having pink eye as a kid and having to be held down by one parent as the other administered the eye drops. Something about knowing there’s a foreign object headed directly for my cornea makes me shudder and involuntarily squeeze my eyes shut every time. I can remember my cousin trying to give me “makeovers” as a kid and I couldn’t handle her trying to put eye make-up on me. I manage to do that okay by myself now but it’s about the only thing that gets within striking distance of my eye socket. Ocular exams are a special kind of hell for me and the air puffs and bright lights make me thankful I’ve always had perfect vision and thus no need for many exams of that type.

At least my eyes aren't plastic

Once upon a time, back in college, I accidentally walked directly into a pine tree. I was sober. Pine needles got in one eye and it hurt worse than the time my sister broke my arm. I dealt with it that night and the next morning, with the injured eye covered, walked myself to the ER. They put all kinds of fluids and whatnot in my poor wounded eyeball and that was roughly the time I remembered I’m allergic to pine. You can imagine what fun I had with the eye doctor then and how long it took for the damn thing to heal. The drops I was told to administer daily were not fun and it made me even more thankful I don’t have to regularly put something in my eye (like contacts…oh the horror).

For the last few days, I’ve been dealing with another odd eye issue. My right eyeball is a little sore and somewhat red, making it appear that one side of my face has been smoking pot. This is never an appropriate look, let alone when I’m applying for jobs, so I broke down and bought my first ever bottle of Visine two days ago. I pretty much have to put the drop in the corner of my eye and then shake my head so it (hopefully) finds its way to the red spot. I guess it’s working but my eye is still sore and I’m not really sure where to go from here. I suppose I’ll keep on administering eye drops and hope for the best. I’m still thankful I don’t have to wear contacts but if this keeps up my days of proudly owning two healthy eyeballs could be over. I’m not pleased and just typing this post has made them both well up. The image search I did to find the picture in this post? Yeah that was especially uncomfortable.

So I guess I’ll keep my fingers crossed that a little more Visine will do the trick. Or perhaps I should cross my eyes?

That may be true but I have friends who whip out the Visine and insert drops like it’s the most comfortable thing in the world. And besides, I’m sure some people out there have a fetish for putting things in their eyes…maybe…