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I’ve Stopped The Obsession!

Standing at the checkout in Morrison’s this morning, I came to a decision. Bear in mind it was pretty deserted. They open at 7 am and I wasn’t much later than that. For once I decided not to drift down the biscuit/crisps/cake/anything bad aisle, and so I wasn’t in there for long. Back to the decision at the checkout… I decided to cut back on watching and re watching Sherlock… and here’s why.

In front of me was a little man. When I say a little man I mean that he was short and fat. His hair was tidy though and his clothes were clean. He wore flat, plimsoll type shoes and he needed the cashier to pack his groceries. Unbeknown to me I was staring at him and doing a ‘Sherlock.’ “Lives alone…wife dead…no one to talk to…needs to hold a long conversation with the cashier…stays tidy though. Huge stomach…eats crap and Morrison’s buy-one-get-two-free doughnuts…flat shoes…slightly creased at the back where a shoe-horn is used…shoe-horn used because of huge stomach and inability to bend over…” (If you have never watched Sherlock this will mean nothing to you and you have probably already tuned out!)

As the dear soul toddled off and the cashier turned to me with a, ‘Good morning,’ I jolted from my deductions and realised that I hadn’t loaded the conveyor belt thingy. I just hope someone wasn’t standing in the shadows of the cat food aisle deducing me.

So, I’m stopping all of this now before someone really does think that I’m a freak…or a stalker. Not sure what my next obsession will be, but I’m sure I’ll think of something.

Actually, it won’t be long before I’m turning my thoughts and energy towards the garden. It had a bit of a makeover towards the end of last year. I removed several small areas of cottagy-type flowery things and made the area into a larger veggie plot. I’m going to be very precise regarding what I grow this year. I have a battle every year with snails, although, I saw a gardening programme on the TV the other week and they had used old snail shells on the top of garden canes as a preventative against taking out your eyes when bending down. I thought this was an excellent use of snail shells. And if the snails are lucky I’ll wait until they vacate the shells before using them! If not? C’est la vie.

I don’t wage war on many creatures. The list is rather short…slugs, snails, greenfly and blackfly. Everything else can have a place in my garden, although, having said that, I’m not enamoured with cabbage white butterflies. And there’s a special, discreet little shit, that lays its eggs on the gooseberry bush and the caterpillars hatch out and eat every available leaf! Strangely, they don’t touch the fruit. It’s a kind of ‘share and share alike’ thing.

Those of you who regularly read this blog will know that my house is a semi-detached, and that the neighbour’s house has been up for sale for quite some time (probably due to me as a neighbour?) but the other night, my neighbour, Tracey, announced that it has sold. Apparently the new neighbours are a young couple and Mr Neighbour is a gardener. I figure anyone who likes gardening can’t be all bad, and although I hate change and people moving out of my life, (there are exceptions, obviously, some I’d buy a one-way ticket to a dung heap), I have already begun to visualise the forthcoming summer scenario. Me and Mr New Neighbour chatting over a cup of tea, discussing ground conditions to prevent forking carrots (that was forking) and the right time to bed-out your little gems. Yes I can see it all. I know masses about gardening (?)so I’ll be an instant hit. There’s only one fly in the proverbial ointment…we erected a six-foot fence last year and can’t see a bloody thing over it. Maybe I’ll just continue my reclusive ways and keep my gardening secrets to myself? I certainly won’t be divulging my ‘snails on sticks’ to anyone!

The greatest sadness in all of this is that Chea and Bobby’s relationship will be severed. They probably have a fortnight-ish left of each other’s company. I have never known such a friendship among cats. They really do like and respect each other. I only have to mention that Bobby is at the door and Chea ‘trills’ and trots off to greet him. On days when Bobby is nowhere in sight I’ll let Chea out and within minutes she’s back with him in tow and then, without jealousy or argument, they share a treat. Other cats come into the garden and they frighten the life out of Chea. She is a kind, loving little individual, without a nasty hair on her body, and because of her ‘relationship’ with Bobby I think she finds it confusing when other cats are vindictive and spiteful. To date, we have never known Chea to hiss, spit or scratch. She just isn’t wired that way. She loves going into Bobby’s wilderness-garden, and I’m thinking that if the new neighbours have a dog, that will also have to stop. Perhaps I can encourage them to have chucks? Maybe a cockerel? And then I can borrow him and let him fertilise my chucks’ eggs? Then I can hatch-out some chicks? Cool. Yes I’m sure, if I try, I can find a positive in these changes that are about to come?

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12 thoughts on “I’ve Stopped The Obsession!”

Great post Gail. Maybe the snails on sticks will be a deterrent to those still in the land of the living, in the same way as some of our predecessors used to put heads on sticks as a warning to their enemies! Not a very pleasant thought, sorry.

Salt? Or, if you wnt to spar hem, there are copper thingys to stop them going over a certain area near a plant. Do not know how well it works, but worth a try. I used to love thinking about what i would grow for the coming year, mulling over. Thompson & Morgan catalogues, sorting out the discounts to get the best bargains available. I did that about 3 or 4 years ago and although i spent quite a bit, i got a lot of money off too. So, go to it, my friend, dream of garden heaven and good growth, plenty of chucks to call your own and eggs gallore. Evelyn

Poor Chea. I’m sure they will be nice neighbours, happy to make a gateway in your six foot fence, to enable cosy chats over a cuppa whilst discussing the pros and cons of snail repellents, compost, seed choices etc. etc. etc. 😉 🙂

Hi Kev. Welcome! And seriously? I do think I’ve put off some potential buyers, especially the ones who may have caught me holding one to one conversations with the chucks. And those who may have heard me singing! Oh well, they may as well know what they are in for, hey? xxx