Saturday, April 30, 2016

Ye find yourself in yon GAME BLOG. Ye see a FLASK. Obvious exits are
PART 1, PART 3, and PART THE ONE YOU ARE READING. What
dost thou do?

>Get ye flask

>Ye can’t get ye flask.

>Go PART 1

>Ye cannot “Go PART 1”. Thou must navigate using the HELPFUL LINKS
to exit this BLOG POST.

>Write BETTER BLOG POST

>I’m sorry, I don’t know how to do that with “BETTER BLOG POST”.

>Go PART THE ONE YOU ARE READING

Last time I gave an
introduction to Homestuck, speculated why it was so popular, and offered some
of my personal experiences on it. I said that I would talk about
Homestuck-adjacent media and offer a conclusion this time, but that’s not quite
accurate. See there’s this thing you’re supposed to do with articles, on the
tip of my tongue, hmm oh yes: stop writing them. I didn’t do that, and so now
I’m going to take a page out Hussie’s book and divide my subdivision. Today
I’ll be discussing fan adventures, and soon we’ll cover music. Soon meaning a few days, because I said I’d post this Friday and I didn’t. But in a
sense, is Saturday not the Friday of the soul? Is it not the ephemeral realm of
freedom from the shackles of our daily lives, taking flight into the wondrous
realms of joy amongst the clouds of recreation? Could it be that when we say
Friday, in our deepest heart of hearts, Saturday is what we are truly
understood to mean?

No, not really. I have
some professional experience with past-me, that guy is full of shit.

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Note: This was originally going to be one article, but I rambled on
even longer than usual and there was a lot of what could technically be
described as “research” involved. As a result, it’s been split into two parts.
The second half will go up on Friday. For those of you viewing from the
mystical portal of chronology known as the future, you’ll find that it’s already here.

...and also here. Future me didn’t warn me this would be a
three parter.

Two weeks ago, after
exactly 7 years of updates, a comic called Homestuck finally ended. I’m here
today to talk about it.

I rarely talk about
anything personal on this blog. I rarely talk about anything unrelated to video
games. I rarely talk about my opinions on wildly popular topics. Today I plan
on breaking all of these trends, in observance of my biggest unwritten rule: “I
write what I feel like.” However, this would be nothing without my second
biggest unwritten rule: “Don’t suck.” Inspiring wording on that one. Point is,
even though this article is outside my usual wheelhouse, I’ll endeavor to keep
the quality similar, like that of a wheelbungalow or at least a wheelshanty.

I’m also aware that
Homestuck has something of a...baggage behind it. This immensely popular
internet sensation brought in millions of fans from every corner of the digital
realm. Based on the content of the piece and the culture generally seen around
it, it’s a safe bet that most of them were teenagers or the recently teenaged.
Combined with the fact that Homestuck itself is very strange and heavily
memetic, and it’s no surprise it frustrated those outside its fandom. Hell,
sometimes it frustrated those inside it. So if you don’t like Homestuck, I have
good news for you! The final seal on the ancient wizard’s curse I used to force
you to read all my blog posts has dissipated. You don’t have to read this. I
won’t take offense. In fact, I’m literally unable to take offense, as my
readership is so small ambient google noise is indistinguishable from a dip in
views.

Pictured: Traffic
after a cat rolls on a keyboard and accidentally visits Genericide.

Friday, April 15, 2016

Last time on Oblivion
Adventures, Shush was visited in the dead of night by a mysterious stranger,
who was soon given a dead flight out the inn window. The next day we escorted
an eccentric nobleman through hordes of undead to place an artifact in the
chamber of a forgotten king. In video game terms, this is basically asking to be betrayed. A bevy of
bludgeons were shared all around. And today...

S’razirr was not having a good day.

The khajiit had always tried to lead a good life. Which, by his
definition, was one wherein he did bad with enough caution to never get caught.
It was a policy that had served him well ever since he’d run away from his home
in Elswyr 11 long years ago. Thing is, it was the kind of lifestyle you could
only screw-up once.

So he had thought when, several days ago, he’d shot a 7 foot tall
hulking mound of orange-and-purple orc who’d politely asked him not to. His
second request had been made with a warhammer as tall as S’razirr, and just as
heavy if his nerves weren’t telling tall tales. The tales they told down the
nearby cliff were quite tall, but it was hard to doubt their accuracy. Speaking of...

Saturday, April 9, 2016

As of a couple weeks ago,
I’ve made 100 posts here on Genericide. Considering the amount of verbiage I
vivaciously vomit, this is an impressive amount indeed. For me, I mean. I
assume those people I hear about with “competency” and “standards” and “real
jobs” would aim higher. But that last point has changed for me recently. Those
who read my last update will know it was a goofball throwback to a bunch of my
previous hijinks, all under the guise of me not having time to write.
In a case that basically never ever happens, it takes inspiration from what’s
actually going on in my life.

After a period of post-college
unemployment, which allowed me to start these consistent updates, I secured a
full-time job about a month ago. Between the job, the commute, and trying to
work on an indie game on the side, the 8ish hours a week spent on these blog
posts is tougher to maintain. That being said, I want to make it clear: I am NOT going to stop updating, or even
stop updating weekly. It won’t be easy. Sometimes I may miss Friday, though
I hope never more than a weekend without an update. Forcing yourself to start a
creative project after a work day is rough, and I’m not going to pretend I’m
immune to distraction and procrastination. But even though my audience remains
nearly nonexistent, I’ve had fun with these regular updates and I want them to
continue, for myself if no one else.

That being said, I’d like
to look back at the almost four years(!) of this blog with a little
retrospective this week. I thought it would be a fun change of pace. It turned
out to be a mix of self-congratulatory pride, awkward cringing, annoying bookkeeping
and vague bewilderment. The last was caused by articles I had completely
forgotten as I’d never finished writing them. I suppose you want a look at
those? Very well, here’s a Link.

Friday, April 1, 2016

On March 31, 2016, I was
sitting in my cubicle at the job factory when a strangely insubstantial finger
tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around to what I’d think was someone in a
crappy grim reaper costume were it not for them being literally
half-transparent. I don’t know many transparent people, so this narrowed down
names to remember quite a bit. Their face appeared to be enveloped in
all-consuming shadow beneath their hood, so that meant I couldn’t guess who
they were off of, say, a distinctive nose. But most tellingly, they were
adorned in a series of chains weighed down by boxes of obscure Korean MMOs.

“Herbert C. Ghost?” I
asked with a bewildered expression.

“Ah, good, you remember
me. Saves me the time of explaining myself again.”

“A few holidays ago you
visited me with memories of three awful MMOs past,
though it turned out to be just one at the time. Then I recycled that awkward
holiday special set-up next year by visiting you directly. I got tired of your awkward shtick, which is why you
weren’t in this year’s crummy game special.

“I JUST said you didn’t
have to explain that! Also, blaming me for that ‘shtick’? Immature and a little
hurtful actually, thanks for that. Only not actual thanks, because I hate you.”

“Then why are you here?”
I said, turning my swivel chair back towards my desk. “I have very important,
very boring work to do here and we’re months out from Christmas from either
direction.”