I feel sadness that I am not a child anymore

I am 19 now. And I can't help but feel a little sad about this. First, of course, I already explained in another thread, I have this feeling that I grew up too fast. Second, I feel that I am not ready to be at this age. And third, I miss the feeling of being a child, being seen as young and innocent. I miss being seen as a minor who has to be protected and everyone looking to reassure me. I miss feeling like all of life was ahead of me. Does anyone else feel this sadness. What are some ways to deal with it? Thanks

ı too had that feeling first at 15 years old. ı wanted to stay a child. ı couldnt get rid of that feeling at the rest of my life sometimes more intense. As a result ım a child in a mans body at 41. This causes somemental problems like anxiety ı think. I would like to learn ways to deal with this like james lee.

@James, I definitely know what you mean. In fact, I have had a lot of thoughts and struggles over this issue.

For starters, I am 35 years old. I remember when I was around 20 when the Christmas "magic" of being super thrilled over waking up to gifts finally subsided. Obviously Christmas is far more about gifts, but even as a child it's hard to take that to heart when you are mesmerized by candy, lights, festivities, family getting together and ALL THOSE GIFTS IN THE MORNING!! This feeling faded with each year until it no longer was there. Granted, I now truly focus on the theological meaning of Christmas and the joy of giving to others and spending time with loved ones. But the point is that I believe it was that initial "fading" of that feeling when I was 20 that I began to notice the effects of time...

Over time there were many other things I noticed. I began even tracking time based on movies that I saw in the theatre from when I was a child. I still occasionally do that just for kicks, but before it used to bother me. For example, I am a huge fan of the shows "Friends". But I remember when it was 2014 I called my friend (whom I used to watch friends with and who was a childhood friend of mine) and told him that it had been 10 years since the show ended. We were really taken aback by this realization. Time is...creepy in it's way of separating us further from the innocence, wonder, and limitless imagination of a child. In fact, reading Calvin & Hobbes is probably the only writing that can translate the world of childhood to adults and thus helps me relive childhood if only briefly through the world of Calvin and his tiger.

Now having said that, eventually this became an issue. Memories of the past would cause anxiety and I was unsure why nostalgia was choking me. I came to realize after much reflection that the anxiety stemmed from me feeling that since my memories were becoming more distant, it almost seemed as if they never happened. I recall playing in a tree with my brother and his friend where we even nailed a chain ladder up the tree to big branches above. Lots of good memories with that tree. But now that tree is gone and homes are there. That tree and those events with my brother and I are only in a memory now. Somehow...it seemed like it wasn't even real almost as of it all was meaningless. My memories were consuming me and I finally experienced my first true anxiety attack with my hands going numb and heart palpitations. This had to be addressed.

That's when I noticed something, ALL that is good in my life now couldn't have ever happened unless I got older. My three kids would not be here now if I stayed in that tree with my brother "forever". Now obviously those events DID happen and I am only lying to myself to think that distance means it is not real or that it didn't matter. It did matter and I am glad to have had that time with my brother and experience the joy of that tree. But I had to get older so I could find my wife, have children, love those who are not loved, give to those who have nothing, build skills to pursue fulfilling work, encounter new books, new amazing movies, new friends who needed me and whom I needed as well. Etc., etc., etc.

So yes, you do have your life ahead of you. There is much to behold. Your childhood was fast. Guess what? Your adulthood will be fast also. But know with every new day brings something you NEVER could have if you were still in the past. This is freeing because it means your future is limitless.