That's why our ancient ancestors required Gatorade, found in small springs throughout Africa. Because if they were hydrated simply through food and water, it would comically fall out of their body like a skeleton drinking something.

I think we are on two different pages here. You are saying that water won't stay in the body by itself literally. This is true, you require a circulatory and lymphatic system to contain water, the cells of theses require nutrition.

However, I am saying that it isn't necessary to drink things like Pedialyte or Gatorade the rehydrate your body, all they are is mostly water with some electrolytes and sugar added. If you want to rehydrate, just drink water, it is cheaper, and healthier than anything else.