Thursday, June 18, 2009

IOJB - The Ironic Orange Julius Bike

It's an egregious faux pas to run your crabon fibre Cervélo on your four mile (30km) commute, or to slay some firetrails without at least 100mm of "squish". However, due to the present state of the world, one can now practice such flagrant offenses by using the Umbrella of Irony. The IOJB is the embodiment of this idea, due to the fact that, seriously, nobody goes to Orange Julius. Snob himself stated that he owns the IOJB due to his/her "soft spot for soft drink tribute bikes", not that he actually goes to Orange Julius.

When it comes down to it, the IOJB is just an idea, since only Snob knows the true nature of his bike. Much like the frequent donning of the Chicken Suit, the IOJB is a literary device straddled often to maintain anonymity. It's not known if it is even orange in color. However, it does have fenders (to defend against goose leavings), which leads me to believe that there exists some eyelets of practicality in the orange seatstays of irony.