For the sixth year, the University of Calgary's last day of classes was
marked by the Bermuda Shorts Day Beer Mile. The largest field ever
assembled in Alberta included defending champion Brian Carruthers and
six-time veteran Andre "Vote for the Hair" Rodriguez, and several dozen
spectators turned out to watch.

There have been some classic beermiles at that track: Perry Martin's
still-standing BSD record; Ian Fallas's first sub-six, defeating WR holder
Dan Michaluk in the process; Craig Costantino's remarkable upending of
Fallas on a cold, icy track. Today's race belongs not with those, but
rather with the Canada-Russia junior hockey brawl or the penultimate season
of Seinfeld. It was a mess. Perry is probably spinning in his grave.

That's not to say that there weren't some decent performances. Lanny Mann
managed to remain conscious for the whole race and set a PB on the way to
his first beermile victory. The women's victor, who does not work for the
Calgary School Board, made an impressive rookie showing and was the only
racer to make it to the afternoon workout. Ian Watts continued his string
of sub-60 final laps. John Cassell's 1970s revival outfit consisted of a
Tiger singlet, a pair of vintage Waffle Trainers, Bjorn Borg's headband and
Lasse Viren's tracksuit.

Despite that, the lasting image that will remain is that of stomachs being
emptied, repeatedly, right in the middle of the track. Sure, that's a part
of beermiling, and I've been responsible for some voluminous spews in the
past, but not in lane five, and not with chunks like that! Hopefully a
small measure of professionalism will return for the remainder of the
season.

Of course, maybe I'm just saying that because I'm usually not quite so sober
at the end of these things. It was fun. Congrats to all who took part.

11:00am, Foothills Athletic Park, Calgary, AB

16. That one guy 30+ minutes
17. That guy who streaked his penalty lap *

DNFs: Many, including Adam Betzelt, David Shanks, and a bunch of clowns who
started warming up a little too early this morning.

I'm sure that some people were missed, but if they really wanted their times
recorded they should learn to cross the finish line properly, right? If
anyone can fill in the blanks or correct my mistakes, let me know.

Hope for rain.

Scott

What is a beer mile?

Drink a beer, run a quarter mile.
Drink a beer, run a quarter mile.
Drink a beer, run a quarter mile.
Drink a beer, run a quarter mile.