Thursday, March 13, 2014

IELTS Writing Task 1: add a comparison

In last week's video lesson I followed some easy steps to build the following sentence:

The number of Japanese tourists who travelled abroad increased dramatically from just under 5 million to around 15 million between 1985 and 1995, a rise of about 10 million in 10 years.

The next step after writing this sentence about Japanese tourists would be to add a comparison with tourists from the other countries shown on the graph or chart. Let's use the chart below as an example (numbers represent millions of tourists who travelled abroad).

Here's my original sentence about Japan, with a comparison sentence about Australia and Canada. Look carefully at how I construct the comparison sentence. If you want a good score in writing task 1, these are the kinds of sentences that you need to be able to write!

The number of Japanese tourists who travelled abroad increased dramatically from just under 5 million to around 15 million between 1985 and 1995, a rise of about 10 million in 10 years. By contrast, the number of Australians who visited other countries remained stable, at just over 7 million, and the figure for Canada fell slightly, from 6 million travellers in 1985 to 5.5 million in 1995.

I got my result O-6,W7,S6,L5.5,R5.
It was my 2nd attempt. First time I got
O-5.5,W4.5,S6,L4.5,R6.5
Improvement only in writing. I need each 6. I followded all writing and other 3 modules lessons of Simon sir.
Thank you sir your work is really very very helpful for us. Next time I will try to do my best in other modules also.

Hi Yuan
Well Firstly,if you write 10 percent or ten percent it will count as two words so it is better to use 10% as it count one word.Secondly,use first nine words in numeric form for instance one percent or nine percent and rest of words as 10% or 15% so and so.

There was a noticeable rise in the number of Japanese travelors from around 5 million to just above 15 million over the 1985-to-1995 period. By contrast, there was no significant changes in the trend for tourists coming from Australia, with figures remaining stable at just above 7 million during the same period. The number of Canadian visitors droped slightly to 5.5 million, down from exactly 6 million since 1985.

In 1985 the number of Japanese tourism who traveled abroad increased dramatically and it was just under 5 million.After 10 years later traveler was increased and it was above 15 million.On the other hand Australia was approximately same,In 1985 to 1995 the number was tourism was often stable.Here the Canada was decreased who traveled abroad.It was changed trend with time but rapidly decreased.