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So, early in our relationship my gf mentioned that she enjoys sex while cuddling but doesn't know if it will work with me because her ex was bigger.

I have been struggling with it for awhile and we finally talked about tonight (I'm in China). We were talking and I realize that it is my problem that I have to get over myself.

I was wondering how I do that. I am not small (7 in), but whenever she compliments me on my size, I feel like it is not a real compliment. I think she means it, but always in the back of my head there is this nagging sense that it's fake.

tl;dr: I need help overcoming my own insecurities, and not in the usual (I guess) way.

This is like an award-winning scientist saying that they do not feel smart because they haven't won the Nobel Prize. There is always going to be someone smarter, more athletic, more attractive, with a bigger dick, etc. What matters is whether it (it being any of the above) is enough for you to be happy.

Before worrying about whether you'll be unable to have satisfying sex in this particular position, TRY IT. If it doesn't work well, talk about other ideas - other related positions, or even more creative things like her using a toy in her behind while you two enjoy PIV sex (size is not just about length).

And we will try it. But, if it doesn't work out, then I am going to feel even worse, if that makes sense. Like I attempted to win the Nobel Prize with a great idea and royally screwed up and won and Ig Nobel Prize.

I, also, guess my problem is that it should be enough for me to be happy, but it's not.

If you're both enjoying sex together, then your size is not an issue. Some women actually think bigger is not as comfortable.

Yes, some positions work better if you have the length for it. But other positions don't work as well if you're too long. Again, it's about finding the things that work well for you, regardless of size, and enjoying them together.

If you're still feeling hung up about it, maybe you might want to talk to a therapist about it. It's the kind of thing that they can help you work out rather easily.

Thanks a lot and considering that I am in the middle-of-nowhere China (or at least can see the middle-of-nowhere from my house), seeing a therapist isn't a viable option for me. I was kinda hoping just to be able to talk about.

That was just plain rude and pointless for her to say that. As a woman, I would never compare my current guy to an ex unless he actually asked me point blank who was bigger... And even then, size isn't the only thing that determines good sex. More important by far is being attentive to your partner.

I don't think she was trying to hurt your feelings. She was simply pointing out the mechanics of a certain position. Mentioning the ex was a mistake, but that's where you need to talk to her and say "you know, you probably shouldn't compare me and your ex, size wise. It makes me feel a bit insecure."

Anyway, beyond that I do think it's just in your head at this point. Her compliments are most likely genuine. So, relax and enjoy things. If you're pleasing her, it's all good.

7in is far bigger than average and is within the top 15%.. assuming you have good girth too then you're fuckin set!

theres a good chance she was lying just to take you down a notch or fuck with your head a little bit... dont let it get to you, even if he WAS bigger, yours is PLENTY big. I love my big pee pee.. i hope you learn to love yours too haha.

I think his point was there was no rational reason for her to bring it up and it was wrong of her to do so. She's either motivated by immaturity or was trying to be hurtful. Unless you have evidence otherwise, I would assume immaturity (per Hanlon's razor).

There's lots of guys out there with penises way larger than yours just like there's ladies out there with much larger breasts than most women. I understand feeling insecure, but I really think you need to address your gf's rude response. She could have said I'm not sure this position will work. There was no need to bring up her ex and his penis size.

"Honest" was probably a poor choice of words, I didn't mean to imply deception; I mean assuming it's using the same technique and result as penis size studies, an actual 7-inch penis is 1 out of 100s in frequency.

Oh, and I was also probably unclear in trying to be pithy and not explaining the quotation--the point I'm getting at is that your girlfriend was rude to make the comparison that way. It's tacky and hurtful.

"Actually, I was thinking your vagina was way too big so it might not work."

Your girlfriend is a real twat. Seriously. Who the hell tells a guy that things may not work because their ex's penis was larger? Cut your losses and go enjoy the many women out there who don't give a toss about penis size (especially when it's above average to begin with).