West Bridge Journals

What is it with men and household appliances?

BJ called me at work last Wednesday, and said that she just bought a new dishwasher, and would I stop by Lowe’s and pick it up on my way home from work. Always wanting to be a blessing I said, “Sure.” Now, I have always considered myself handy, having been in maintenance and construction for more years than I can remember. So, I do the smart thing and ask the lady in the appliance department would I need to purchase anything else to hook up the dishwasher and she said not if you are replacing one, just unhook it and install the new one using the same hookups. “It shouldn’t take more than a few minutes as handy as you are.”

I guess sometime when a man’s ego reaches a certain point, God, in a sense of humor, just turns off his brain. At least I think He has done that to me on several occasions. After unloading the dishwasher I unhooked the old one and put it on the back porch, thinking this was a piece of cake. I brought the new one in and started to hook it up when I saw that the water inlet did not have the brass nipple needed to connect the water line. No problem, I just took off the one on the old machine. It was the wrong size, but not only that, the drain hose was also too small and would not fit on the outlet. I knew then that it was another trip to Lowe’s, but such is life for someone of my vocation. I dearly love Lowe’s nearly as much as BJ loves Country Cobbler, Belk’s or Walmart.

I measured the size of the outlet, and after work the next day I stop by the store and told the same lady that my old drain hose was too small and that I also needed a 3/8” nipple. After looking in the drain hose bin, I told her I needed a 1-1/8 inch one. She said that the largest that they sale was one inch. I said that will not fit, which she replied that it would fit any machine that they sell. So, I purchased it and the nipple. At home I tried the hose and it did not fit. It was 1/8 of an inch too small, as I knew it would be. However, I am pretty handy, so I turn on the hot water and heated the end for a few minutes and rubbed some dish detergent inside of it, and forced it on. I got it three quarters of the way on. The end that connects to my sink was too big and I had to clamp it down hard. I’m thinking this thing will probably leak. Next I go to connect the electrical and notice that the cover for the connections was not there. The old one would not fit either. I am getting very upset with Lowe’s by this time. But I pressed on and just wrap it good and tape it up out of the way. Finally I ‘m thinking I can get it going and push it into the space for it. It will not fit! My counter top has ceramic tile for trim and the overhang hits the top of the dishwasher.

The only thing left to do is to pop off the tile, and replace them after I get the machine in, which I do. I turn on the water and check for leaks, after which I tell BJ she can try it out. She comes in and opens the door and pulls out a bag and says, “What is this?” I look at it and there was everything needed to install the dishwasher, (everything), along with the instructions.