Ah, geez. Someone at Jimmy Kimmel Live should have known that a pretentious singer/activist from Manchester would never mix with four animal killers from Louisiana.

Nah, there’s not hate for Morrissey flowing from these fingers. I’m a huge fan. Eh, maybe a little less of a fan now, but I’m ever-so-slightly jilted. I was merely irritated when rumors began to flow that he was canceling his appearance on Kimmel, after referring to four of the members from A&E’s Duck Dynasty as “animal serial killers.” I thought for certain it was a publicity stunt and that former front man of The Smiths would nut up and do some singing. Nope.

Instead, Morrissey suggested Jimmy Kimmel and his staff ditch the boys from north Louisiana in favor of his animal rights activism. Obviously, the fellas from Duck Dynasty have a little more pull when it comes to a contemporary audience. Had it been the 1980s, maybe Morrissey would have pulled a little more weight.

It’s good that Morrissey cancelled. He would’ve seemed flat following a very humorous, bearded quartet… who allegedly don’t love animals properly. If you’ve seen the show, it certainly seems like they love animals. Especially frogs, catfish, ducks, chickens, turkeys and even the occasional squirrel.

When asked about the situation, the four Robertsons of West Monroe, LA, shrugged it off. The patriarch, Phil Robertson, suggested that he had no issue with Morrissey enjoying the consumption of vegetables. His brother, Si Robertson, was disappointed to learn that Morrissey was not Jim Morrison.