Friday, June 30, 2006

Phantom Internet Pregnancy

I met someone for a date once. He was weird. I deleted his phone number from my mobile. When he rang the other day, I didn't recognise the number. And I picked up.

J: Congratulations.Me: What on?J: You're pregnant, aren't you?Me: No.J: Yes you are.Me: No I'm not. J: But you sent me an email saying you were.Me: No, I didn't, because I'm not.J: I don't believe you.Me: I'm not pregnant.J: Well, I sent you an email saying hi and you replied saying you were pregnant.Me: No, I didn't. The last time I spoke to you or emailed you was over 8 months ago.J: Yes! It was then!Me: What was?J: When you told me you were pregnant. And I emailed back and you didn't reply and I thought you were angry with me.Me: Why would I be angry with you?J: For thinking you were pregnant.Me: What? J: Do you think someone's pulling a fast one on us?Me: Sorry?J: Do you think someone's taking the piss?Me: Like who? We don't know anyone in common.J: I thought you would have had it by now.Me: Had WHAT?J: The baby.Me: The imaginary non-existent baby?J: Yes, that one. I mean I reckon that if I emailed you over 8 months ago, you will have had it by now.Me: Yes.J: I was in your paper last week. Did you see it?Me: No.J: It was great.Me: Oh.J: Yes.Me: I'm very busy. I can't talk at the moment. I have to go.