Tom Keith was amazing. I listened to PHC just to hear what he could do. See, the thing is, I do that too. In my classes. I provide all the sound effects to my stories–I thought everybody did, but in observing other teachers, I find this not to be the case.

Some people have their little dreams of playing catch with their sports hero, or acting with their favorite star, or hanging out with Stephen Hawking. Me, I wanted a guest gig on PHC, dueling sound effects with Tom Keith.

It’s a wholly different system–
There are data, but you missed ’em,
In the infinite dilution of our minds!
Modern medicine is bleaker
Cos our evidence is weaker,
Which is stronger, as our different system finds!

All those articles and studies
That you put out with your buddies,
Which you think will make your evidence more strong?
It is our determination
Through our less-is-more translation,
Each one proves that Western Medicine is wrong!

While you losers have fun losing
We’re diluting and succusing,
Gaining power modern science can’t assess–
And our strongest contribution
May be found in this solution:
Common sense (at just one molecule, or less)!

There are people teaching tolerance—
They’re marching up the block—
I thought I ought to warn you
So you wouldn’t die of shock.
Their message of diversity,
Acceptance, and respect
Will likely reach our kids, if it’s
Allowed to spread unchecked.
We must protect the children
From equality, or worse!
I recommend you read to them
This welcome bible verse.
Our Christian moral values
Are enshrined within that book

A fish connoisseur made paella with Mermaid;
He thought the aroma was nice.
With garnish of seaweed (his sycophants “oui-oui-ed”)
And saffron infusing the rice.
He clarified butter, and started to mutter
“It tastes like it’s really Mazola”
Then added blue cheeses: “the trick, if you please, is—
With Gorgon, you need gorgonzola!”
With minimum bluster, he gutted and trussed her;
You see, in his studies, he’d learned
That the delicate features of mermaid-like creatures,
If left unattended, get burned.
The succulent breast of (as well as the rest of)
The meal, would make proud its creator;
I was told that one bite would bring utter delight,
And I could not refuse… so I ate her.

Originally, I wrote this when I learned that there was a fatwa against eating mermaid. I shit you not. Today, I was simply reminded of the verse, because I am doing a bit of cooking, and an excellent Stilton got me thinking of blue cheeses. Besides, I can’t let Physioprof be the only one on FtB who posts about food.

Today is the 71st anniversary of ΟΧΙ day–the day the Greeks refused to surrender to Mussolini. The dictator’s demands were responded to with a single word–ΟΧΙ, or “no”–and “no” has been a part of the national character ever since.

Of course, the sacrifice of those who backed up that “no” is honored mostly by lip service. Just as in the US, sacrifice isn’t what it used to be. Part of the current financial crisis, here and there, comes from being too willing to say “yes”.

The chaplains are ready to answer the call
In the guise of supporting our fitness
To breach and dismantle the church-and-state wall
And to act as a born-again witness

And the Head of the chaplains will smile and nod,
For God and for country (but mostly for God)

To protect and defend, you remember the oath,
So there’s no use in getting indignant
But I think I’ve detected a spiritual growth
And I’m worried it might be malignant

A chaplain, who shepherds the men in his squad
For God and for country (but mostly for God)

There’s no cause for worry, no need for alarm
It’s only the damn constitution
And the chaplain, who’s keeping your soul safe from harm
Is the problem, and not the solution

But they’ve been there so long it no longer seems odd
For God and for country (but mostly for God)

The problem is growing, of that there’s no doubt
And the bible does not hold the answer
The simple solution—you cut it right out
Cos that’s what you do with a cancer

It’s a cult, once you see past the shiny façade
For God and for country (but mostly for God)

Two things. Go here and read this. And even more importantly (US Citizens only), go here and sign this. As of this writing, only 376113 (update just after 9PM Eastern)87 (just after 10PM) signatures are needed. You do have to register, but it’s painless, takes only a minute or so, and damn is it a good cause.