While some grandmothers set out cucumber sandwiches or slices of babka, Hillary Clinton is not content to host a modest get-together—which is why there was no weak iced tea or shuffleboard on Roosevelt Island this weekend. Clinton instead served up the official launch of her presidential campaign on Saturday, laying out her vision for the nation to thousands of attendees.

As she drew on her experiences in public service, Clinton emphasized her devotion to the American people: "I've been called many things by many people," she said. But "'quitter' is not one of them." The presidential-hopeful did, however, downplay what is an obvious skill: Hillary Clinton knows how to throw down.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

Over 5,000 people attended the outdoor extravaganza, proving that perhaps some of Clinton's 2016 rivals should start taking party-planning notes; Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum, for one, saw a grand total of four Iowans show up to an event he hosted in the Hawkeye State last week.

To be fair, Peggy Toft, who chairs the Republican Party in Hamlin, Iowa, told Politico that residents did not "have a lot of notice that he was coming." A rookie mistake. Meanwhile Clinton's event was announced on Twitter last month, trumpeted all over the web, and broadcast on Periscope. A marching band greeted revelers. Even Scott Disick couldn't have promoted it better.

1. Location Is Everything

As several seasons of My Super Sweet Sixteen made clear, venue matters. And while Hillary did not charter an ocean liner or rent out Madison Square Garden for her big moment, she did settle on a noteworthy site. The historic landmass was named for Franklin D. Roosevelt, who championed liberal ideals from the White House and was married to noted badass Eleanor Roosevelt.

The establishment that Rick Santorum selected for his gathering was somewhat less hip. A Yelp reviewer reported, however, that the creamed corn at Darrell's Place is "like nothing I've ever tasted before." An enthusiastic endorsement, for sure.

Getty

2. Choose a Theme (and Stick to It)

The best parties do not mix metaphors. And over the weekend, Team Hillary made sure that even the smallest details were on brand. Posters were shaped like arrows—a favored geometric form for the campaign. American flags were handed out to ticket holders. Placards and pantsuits coordinated, too, washing the stage in red and white and blue.

"I'm not running for some Americans, but for all Americans," Clinton told the crowd in Four Freedoms Park. Patriotism—it's very chic right now.

3. Make an Entrance

Elephants and jet skis are nice. But Hillary Clinton knows that real power needs no escort. She took the stage on Saturday on her own, greeting supporters from a platform slashed into a supersized "H."

Getty

4. Keep your Guests Entertained

A generous DJ, Clinton shared The Official Hillary 2016 Playlist to Spotify in advance of the festivities. The virtual mix tape spotlights Kelly Clarkson and Ariana Grande. The American Authors—the founding fathers of our day!—contributed two songs to the collection.

Before Hillary arrived to deliver her address, the Brooklyn Express Drumline performed for audiences and the dulcet tones of Taylor Swift blared over loudspeakers.

Haters gonna hate, hate, hate hate, hate, indeed.

5. Make Sure Everyone at Home Knows Exactly What They Missed

A summer bash is only as good as the FOMO it induces. This, Clinton knows. Search #Hillary2016 on your preferred social media platform and do as we did: Pretend you were out of town this weekend.