Friday, February 28, 2014

How Would You React If You Saw A Black Bear On Your Porch Reflecting On Its Life?

"Am I a bear or am I society's characterization of what a bear should be?"

Yikes, bears have officially become too self-aware to the point where they are becoming systemically depressed. At first I thought they were on their way to becoming "Planet of the Apes" smart, but now it seems like they have turned a disastrous corner.

It all started with this happy ass bear:

Waving and shit. Returning people's greetings. That was when I first got worried. It was clearly evident that they were trying to butter us up at this point. Lower our defenses and strike.

Then they somehow developed opposable thumbs, complex thought and potentially learned how to drive cars. This was what we in the business like to call "Code: Awwww Shit."

Nope. They just ended up depressed. With great intellectual capabilities comes great responsibility. Just pop in some Simple Plan, Avril Lavigne and Papa Roach and everything will be ok, Bear.