Thursday, October 11, 2007

Don't You Cry Toniiii-i-i-i-ee-yi-ee-iiiiii-yiiiii-yiiiiiight

Suzyn Waldman has accused some people of sexism, in regards to their making fun of her crying on air the other day. If anyone did say anything to the effect of "look at her, crying because she's a girl...a man would never cry," then by all means, that is sexist and she should defend herself.

I am someone who is sensitive to sexism. Some might say over-sensitive, actually. If I see a woman in high heels trip, I blame our male-dominated society for inventing shoes whose sole purpose is to make her butt look perkier.

So, just so everyone knows, here's why I made fun of Suzyn:

When Yankees cry, I laugh. When their 26 championships, which they're so quick to use as a fallback, suddenly aren't enough, and can't stop them from feeling sadness, it's hi-lar-ious. If they expect anybody to feel sorry for them for anything short of a person actually dying, they're crazy. Oh, no, Mr. Steinbrenner--the man they all defended by boasting, "our owner does what it takes to win"--might actually do something, gasp, unfair? Guess what? Laughter in your face. Loud, mocking laughter.

Do I feel "bad" for Joe Torre (assuming he's let go, which totally hasn't happened yet)? Well, to some degree. To take your team to the playoffs every year and be thought of as "not good enough"--that stinks. But he knew what he was supposed to do, and he failed, for the seventh straight year. Seeing him let go makes you cry? Better become a Royals fan. Either admit that you aren't god's gift to sports fans and franchises and therefore be allowed to cry at times like real human beings do, or keep up this ridiculous charade that it's manifest destiny that you win every single year and accept everyone laughing at you when you fail.

And what about the fact that it hasn't happened yet? Suzyn saying how everyone's looking at each other like this could be the end. Didn't you learn anything from Roger Clemens' fifteen retirements? Hey, maybe that's it, maybe she's crying to make it even more dramatic when Torre returns next year, so she can scream and lose her mind when he steps on the field. Could another moment take her top spot as the most dramatic thing she's ever seen? By the way, how'd that Clemens comeback work out for ya? Hahahahahahaa.

Getting back to Torre, though. Let's remember that Joe Torre isn't a god. Just a guy who was put in charge of a team with good players. He took them all the way four times. Then, it stopped, and the Yankees became this century's Atlanta Braves. When you think about it, a virtual all-star team really shouldn't get knocked out of the playoffs in the first round three years in a row. "It wasn't his fault," some yell. Well, if we give him credit for the championships, why shouldn't he take some heat for the flops? (Seven in a row with the Yanks, and don't forget: one first place finish in fifteen seasons as a manager before coming to the Yanks.)

I don't hate the guy as a human. The cancer, the growing up in an abusive household, the face for radio--I feel bad about all these things. But as a manager? No, I don't feel sorry for a millionaire with four championship rings who knew exactly what was supposed to get done but, for whatever reason, couldn't get it done anymore. (Besides, I don't know if any of you were in the New York area from 1996 through 2000, but I always felt perfectly justified in hating the man who was the leader of the team that made Yankee fans turn from simple arrogant bastards into megalomaniacs. Never fell for that "it's impossible to hate these Yankees" bullshit. I found it highly possible and even probable. That's just me, though.)

In fact, seeing something like this is what Yankee-hating is all about! Relish in the fact that their eternal happiness might be subdued, even if you think the reason is completely unjust. Isn't that what they deserve? So Torre's a martyr for anti-Yankee fans' joy--so what? In fact, how funny would it be if Joe is let go and banished from Yankee Stadium, and Larry Lucchino invites him to Fenway for "Joe Torre Day," and gives him a special plaque before a Sox-Yanks game. Even I might sign up for that scenario.

But let's see what happens first, eh? The people around George just might make him come to his senses, as they've been forced to do for years now, realizing that Torre leaving might cause some stars to mutiny. But even that scenario, I think, is over-hyped. Someone on ESPN talked about the Yanks falling back to the late-80s if Torre was out, and already every internet schmoe is convinced it's gonna happen. There's nothing I'd love more than to see the Yanks become a last-place team, but the simple fact is, they're a playoff contender for the foreseeable future, in spite of George's dementia, if for no other reason than the lack of talent on most of the other teams in the league.

Funny, everything I've read about Waldman crying mentioned how if a man had done it he'd have been humiliated beyond belief.

If anything, she's getting LESS crap about this BECAUSE she's a woman.

Because, as you know, we girls can't do ANYTHING without bursting into tears.

That's what she doesn't get. She's a woman doing a stereotypically man's job. Woman, girls, they look up to her for doing something they either couldn't do or want to do...so for her to muck it up with the Roger lovefest in May and now this, well, as a woman it pisses ME off that she can't control herself and continues to perpetuate that emotional woman stereotype.

This kind of goes without saying, but I totally forgot to mention how it's doubly funny to see a Yankee person cry when that person used to be a Red Sox fan but went against generations worth of loyalty and joined the "winning" (ha) side.

Imagine being a long-time friend of hers, and having her call you after 2004, acting all happy for the Sox? I would've just hung up on her.

Mom here. (I'm beginning to feel like I'm everyone's mom who comments. Actually, I'm happy to be an aunt to two of them and I really like being an ersatz mom to the rest of you guys.)Susyn Waldman has chosen a profession that requires she doesn't fall apart emotionally while on the job. She should be fired.It would be like my working for Bill Gates on developing some damned software or something and telling him I just can't figure out how to successfully choose an identity and therefore must remain anonymous. Bill would definitely give me the boot.

What an embarrassment. Buck up, Suzyn, own up to having an unprofessional moment on air, and don't try to drag everyone else in a skirt down with you. Everyone involved in that team seems all about excuses right now, rather than just admitting the yankees just plain weren't good enough. I'm told that the wall street journal actually published a piece today claiming that baseball season is officially over since the clearly superior team is done playing. can't access the piece without a subscription, so my dad's promised to copy and paste it to my e-mail tomorrow. I feel sure that an intellectual periodical like the wsj could only write such garbage in sarcasm - my bro-in-law is perfectly capable of missing such a subtlty - but I guess we shall find out. I promise to forward the drivel to jere, who will surely post a morsel or two of this drivel, assuming it's quoteworthy.

I totally agree. This woman has a job that a lot of other women would die for. There's a limit to the number of females in this profession - and I don't mean the reporters. I'm talking about the announcers. It sucks that she has to represent "all women" but when you are doing this job on a lime lit stage (by virtue of the fact that you are a minority and that she announces for the most well known franchise in all of the majors) you'd better do it well. The destiny of other women who desire this job someday rides on her performance, to some degree. It is unfortunate, but professional sports is still a boy's club and there are a lot of men who are more than happy to believe that if you hire a female announcer, you are going to get Waldman.

As for Torre - I actually think he is the only honorable part of the Yankees organization. I also think he is a masochist. But I like the guy.

Matty: Kix would've been "Don't close your eye-ee-yiiiiiiis." Mine was supposed to be GnR, the end of Don't Cry. "Now, there are three Axls." "Now, we see his butt." -- Wayne & Garth.

Hulkster: I was giving an extreme example. Yes, her fault to wear, but men's fault in general that they exist--again, showing how sensitive I am, meaning, I can't help but think of it. (Also, note that I'd also most likely laugh at the trip whether it was a man or woman because that's just funny, especially if they're a Yankee fan or a rich snob or something.)

And another thing which I've said about Suzyn before, but will repeat: I never thought she was bad as a talk show host. She's been doing that a long time, and was even the first voice heard on air when the FAN was introduced in 1986. I just couldn't believe when they made her a color person because that's just not what she does. She's horrible at that.

As soon as I clicked back here to read any further comments on this post and saw the title again, I wanted to hit myself in the head with something hard. I knew right away it wasn't KIX...idiot!

On a bizarre KIX related note (and if this is what made me think of KIX in first place, kill me, for I have major issues), my first junior high makeout session was set to KIX's "Don't Close Your Eyes." Just thought you needed to know that...

Was it a suicidal girl? By the way, is KIX the band capitalized or is KIX the ceral capitalized? Oh, who am I kidding, I'll Google it....okay, it's the band. The cereal has a lower case i, but the X is just as tall as the K, so it could be 2/3rds upper-case. That still doesn't beat the 3/3rds of the band.