Monday, October 16, 2006

My First and Lord Willin' My Last

I remember when I was about eleven I was a bed wetter so my mom took me to the Dr and he suggested kidney problems etc. So I went to the Hendricks County Hospital for a tasty barium milk shake and then x rays. After the x rays the Dr was consulting with my mother and he advised her that I would be more than likely constipated from the barium. He then told her that I should take one or better yet two teaspoons of Castor oil so as to make me regular again, if that did not work then I would require an enema. On the walk to the car I asked my mother what Castor oil was and she explained that I would have trouble pooping and if I drank this oil I would probably poop and not require an enema. I then asked...Whats an enema....Long pause then a delicate explanation, then me asking again, more of the same. I could not fathom such a thing, I was in denial, honest to God I thought it was some sort of cruel joke. So the next day its time to drink the Castor oil, well you know that shit tastes just like oil, it really is a vile viscous concoction of the devil or worse, so I went out on the porch and spit it out and then my mom told me I would need an enema if I did not poop soon. I just could not imagine this being reality so I just thought it would all go away. Oh a day or two passed and no poop. I should have just taken the Castor oil.

17 Comments:

My heart goes out to the eleven y/o Josh. I've never had to put any castor oil to my lips, thank the good Cow. I did however drink a barium milk shake a few years ago and was given a supository in case I were to get backed up. Luckily I didn't have a problem because the supository scared the shit out of me. It was about the size of a golf ball.

Mr. Neal: I do not want to talk about what is and is not an enenma.I have put back the pieces and tried to live as normal a life as I could.

Bostick: Well if you must know it was my mom. I come from a long line of do it your self types so my mum did not need a Dr, she just …well how bout the football of late now is that something?

We had a beagle (Myrtle) my mom noticed she was not doing well and she recognized that poor Myrtle was obviously constipated, so she gave her an enema. No shit. What’s funny is she was right, Myrtle perked up after the assault, thing is I think she used the same tool as she did on me, it looked like a toilet float with a tube on the end, kinda weird I bet but I loved myrtle. As for myself I have not been constipated since the event and as far as I am concerned there is no such thing as constipation, it is just a matter of will, if you have to poop well then by God poop, no excuse’s! I speak from practical experience, if nature calls just poop, if you can’t well to me it’s a sign of weakness. Weakness is for those who deny themselves the healthy habit of dropping a mud dragon at the ring of a bell…Kind Regards JW