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Rent-A-Brain With Ghostbloggers

Lawyers: want to juice your stats a little so that clients are more likely to hire you? Have we got a deal for you! GhostWins.com has a stable of excellent but self-effacing lawyers who are willing to let you take public credit for their results. Here’s how it works: you sign up for GhostWins.com, paying $250 per month for syndicated results (which other lawyers might also take credit for) or $500 per month for personalized results. Every week we’ll send you three or four actual successful outcomes in your field of law, which you can then publicize on your website or blog as your own successful outcomes. We all know how potential clients love lawyers who win; with GhostWins.com you create the appearance of being such a lawyer without putting in the many hours of hard work (not to mention good luck) required to win your own cases.

Do you look like John Edwards? No, I thought not. Yet everyone knows that success is tied to physical attractiveness. So you might be interested in GhostMug.com. GhostMug.com works on the same principles as GhostWins.com: you pay a small monthly fee, and we provide you with pictures of a trustworthy person who fits your basic demographics—just like you but much better looking. As long as you continue your subscription, you can continue using the pictures as a substitute for your own—let’s face it—homely mug in your online marketing. We’ll even send you weekly updates of “your” face in law-related poses. $250 a month gets you a syndicated face, which other subscribers might also use (we can’t guarantee that someone in your field of law and geographical area will not use the same face as you) or $500 a month gets you a personalized face, which only you will have permission to use.

Since you’re still reading this, odds are that you didn’t graduate from a Tier-One law school. You know that it doesn’t make any difference to the results you get (or lease, through GhostWins.com), but some paying clients might be more likely to hire you if your resume were a little more impressive. GhostResume.com can fix that problem. On the same model as GhostWins.com and GhostMug.com, GhostResume.com allows you to contract out your credentials. For a nominal fee, you get to use the guaranteed-to-impress bona fides of an actual lawyer in your marketing materials. Your clients will never know the difference.

To maximize your online marketing potential, sign up for TheWholeGhostPackage.com. You’ll get weekly GhostWins, a GhostMug, and a matching GhostResume for a discounted monthly $700 (syndicated) or $1,400 (personalized).

Preposterous, right? Holding someone else’s resume, face, or results out as your own in marketing your practice is fraudulent. No ethical lawyer could possibly think that any of that would be okay.

When a client hires a lawyer, more than the results or the face or the résumé, he’s paying for the lawyer’s knowledge, intellect and heart—attributes that good writing reveals and ghostwriting falsifies. Hiring a ghostwriter to write your blog (like some of the people here using a ghostwriter “to enhance their credibility”) is no more ethical than subscribing to TheWholeGhostPackage.com.