Don’t stress Thanksgiving

As Thanksgiving is upon us, I wanted to take just a few minutes and share with you some of the things I am personally thankful for and some of the things, you, in your particular situation should be tuned into this holiday season. Some people think of the holidays and a vision of stress filled days and even more stressful nights materializes, as either you travel to be with family, or they travel to you. As we prepare to batten down the hatches, remember that while those of us with a job, seem to have little more than anticipated family drama to be concerned about over the upcoming holidays, there is a heavy burden of stress millions of Americans carry. This is a somewhat bifurcated recession- good if you are working, horrible if you are not, without much empathy or acknowledgment across lines.

I have listened to our President and many, many others speak about the current state of unemployment in this country. First of all I would really love to hear someone step forward and declare in a strong, clear voice, that the majority of those estimated 15 million in job losses will never return to this country. Small business will bring some jobs back, but there has been a major shift in our economy and unemployment is not a problem that will be solved anytime soon. Understand that for the 15 million they acknowledge, another estimated ten million who are no longer receiving unemployment benefits, are not being counted, and let’s not forget, those folks who owned small businesses whose doors are now closed, never had the opportunity to file for unemployment benefits. Therefore they were never counted in the first place. These numbers are scary to me and should be to you as well. We are in dire need of some blunt honesty in this area, and a show of greater concern by those not yet affected by the new state of our economy.

But instead of releasing all of the air from your holiday balloon, I just want to share with you a taste of what millions are calling reality every day. I will begin with myself. I was unemployed for a little over a year, and had highly educated, highly intelligent friends who were unemployed much longer. This “dep-recession”, (I coined this phrase), a hybrid between a depression and a recession, has done so much financial damage to this country, but that is not what I want to bring to your attention. We have all watched prices go up, and for the employed, we know our money doesn’t go as far as it used to. But the concern I have, and the one I believe our country will take much longer to recover from, is the emotional damage of being unemployed for any great length of time.

I was very lucky to have someone to share my anxiety about “worklessness” with- someone who had been in the depths longer than I had. I recall some of the most honest, raw, and open conversations we shared about the state of our minds. Mind you my crowd is the legal crew. Highly functioning, multitasking, troubleshooting, intellectuals who are constantly challenged in almost every aspect of their lives. This is a recession of highly educated, over qualified workers, who are living off severance or 401(k) funds, and praying every day for a breakthrough. Let me tell you, something terrible happens when these people wake every morning with nothing to do but send out resumes and field refusals or harsh silence- thinking their very existence is tied to what they do, what they make, what they produce. This will indelibly change the fabric of our country. These are our country’s intellectual soldiers, who fought the good fight, woke up one morning, and watched other people’s greed dis-mantel their worlds. These over achievers moved beyond the college experience to grad school, believing the lore, and “drinking the kool-aid” of education is the key.

These heroes are trying to carry on for their families, while feeling worthless inside. Trying to hold on to what they have spent years building up and kicking themselves for not providing better safeguards. And trying to remain strong so no one witnesses their darkest moments of their souls. It is an incredible thing to lose everything you treasure. But it can be also be a cleansing, a fresh start, a clean slate. You won’t see that until you are well on the way to recovery. But hold on, things will change- they will get better.

So this Thanksgiving, while I am giving thanks for the soon to be, safe return of my son from his third tour, I am also thankful for a job. And not just a job, but an opportunity to help people realize their dreams of owning a business. My wish for Thanksgiving is that those employers and business owners out there, who could hire one or two people, but are enjoying the profits of being short staffed, I would ask “consider splitting the responsibility down the middle”. Give someone hope. I would think it would be a simple thing for employers to see the merits of hiring highly educated, over-qualified individuals, but many don’t. I believe my Director is glad he has me on board. There are those who believe they won’t stick around, they will take over, they could end up with your job. Let me say this, there is a humility in loss that can never be fully described, but born of this humility is a feeling of gratitude and loyalty. High achievers acknowledge you saved their lives, and sometimes that’s literal.

For Thanksgiving, I am going to be especially thankful for every hiring manager who looks at a resume and says, “wow, I know they don’t really want this job”, but interviews them anyway. Sometimes a resume shows great achievement, but loss has reinforced a humble demeanor and promoted a return to really simple values. The greater majority not only want the work, they need work, any work to secure their sanity. It can be a long road back to normalcy after a sentence of a year or more of daytime television, seriously. So if you know a family who is working through unemployment during this holiday season- spread holiday cheer their way, they really need it.