9.2 The Influencer

I’ve been 40 years old for just over two weeks, so I am now officially an expert. No, 40s are not the new 20s, don’t say this to anyone who just turned 40. Besides, who wants to revisit their 20s? Not me, I am unusually comfortable being in my 40s. Twenty years ago I thought I had everything figured out, but really was just a complete mess. But now? Now I have everything figured out. Completely. There is no way that I will feel differently in another twenty years when I’m 60.

I’m not only an expert on being 40, I’m what the kids refer to as an ‘influencer’. A person who holds a certain amount of expertise on a very specific subject and who can influence the opinion or behaviour of others. That’s me, the world’s first influencer on being 40. In an attempt to sway you into appreciating my newly crowned stance as an influencer, I present to you the following curated list of things I’ve noticed about myself since turning 40.

A RUDIMENTARY INTEREST IN JAZZ

It all started with the Miles David album Kind of Blue. Really, it was more the story behind the album and that so many people seemed to cite it as incredibly important. Kind of Blue was a gateway drug and I soon moved on to Jazz’s Greatest Hits playlists on Spotify. I’ve always been more of a lyrics person, so the instrumental element to jazz took a lot of work on my part. Soon, during my urban hikes, I found myself walking by various jazz clubs in the city and wondering what happened inside. I’ve thought a lot about entering into the mysterious world of the jazz club, but perhaps that comes with turning 50?

INVOLUNTARY NOISES

Sometimes I sigh for no reason. Maybe I am sighing at the finite amount of time now stretching out in front of me? Before turning 40, I had forever to achieve all of my life goals. Now I have about ten years. Sometimes I groan when I sit down, bookended by another different sounding groan when standing back up.

DEMOGRAPHICS

I am firmly now in a demographic that marketers don’t care about. I guess I’ve bought all I am supposed to buy and now marketers just think I am waiting to die. The first time I became aware of this was five years ago when filling out online surveys. During the personal information part of the survey, the drop down answers for age were usually 25-35 and 35-Above. The older you get, the larger the age range.

REPETITION

Sometimes I’ll start telling a friend of mine a story or humourous anecdote, and they will stop me by saying, “You’ve told me that already.” Then I tell the story or humourous anecdote again anyways. This happened when I was younger as well, but now I feel as though I have an actual excuse for repeating it. My perspective is that not only did my friend get to hear my amazing story once, but gets it again and again, just like their favorite song.

SETTLING DOWN

Most people have stopped asking me when I’m planning on ‘settling down’ or ‘getting married’. Most people. Sometimes I look at various social media platforms and wonder about how my life might have been different if I had gone down a more traditional route. Many people my age have multiple kids, even multiple marriages. I look around at my place in downtown Toronto and how it is definitely designed for a single person with no intention of making room for someone else and think that maybe I should change. Naw, I’m too old to change. My ideal setup would be to meet someone in my building who lives on another floor. As we get closer and our relationship grows stronger, we will not move in together. We will keep our places. Sure, we might always be at one or another’s place, but just knowing there’s an option to have your own space creates even more room in your life for that other person. Maybe that’s why I’m still single?

REPETITION

Sometimes I’ll start telling a friend of mine a story or humourous anecdote, and they will stop me by saying, “You’ve told me that already.” Then I tell the story or humourous anecdote again anyways. This happened when I was younger as well, but now I feel as though I have an actual excuse for repeating it. My perspective is that not only did my friend get to hear my amazing story once, but gets it again and again, just like their favorite song.

This list is ongoing and fluid. This influencer is always changing. Please connect with me on various social media platforms to share your own curated lists.