Breast implants save woman’s life

The woman, in the town of Ruse in Bulgaria, drove through a red light at a crossroads on Saturday. Her car smashed into another vehicle, leaving both cars written off – but she survived thanks to her breast implants.

‘The two cars were crumpled past recognition in the crash but the woman’s silicone breasts acted as airbags and saved her life,’ according to the Standart newspaper.

Sadly, the paper reports, there were two casualties in the crash – her enhanced breasts. The force of the impact burst the implants, leaving her somewhat deflated.

The paper does not report exactly how the breasts prevented the woman’s death.

We’re working on two possible theories: 1) that the breasts cushioned the impact of the steering column on her chest, which otherwise would have caused severe internal damage to her organs, including her heart, or 2) that they didn’t really save her but it was funnier to write the story that way.