Thoughts on everyday life and inspiring others to contribute to life in a positive way.

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Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Unworthy Of Love

There was a
quote in the movie, The Perks Of Being A
Wallflower that disturbs me.It went:
“Why do nice people choose the wrong people to date? Because they accept only the
love they think they deserve.”

Isn’t that the
saddest statement you’re ever heard?I
guess it’s one thing to hear it, but it’s quite another to believe it.“. . . only the love they think they deserve.”How does one acquire that belief, that
mindset?How does that even enter into
one’s thinking?

I know high
school is tough, but it can also be a good time in one’s life too.We’ve all heard stories of bullies and
bullying, of “mean girls”, of not being accepted into this group or that group,
of being alone.But I’ve witnessed kids
growing up and taking life by the throat and throttling it, making their life
their own.I believe that for many kids,
even the majority of kids, life in high school is good.It’s not necessarily easy, but it’s good.

If that is the
case, how is it that one accepts “only the love they think they deserve”?How is this even possible?

Leo Buscaglia
wrote, “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word,
a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of
which have the potential to turn a life around.”Simple, everyday things one can do for
someone else.The opportunities are
boundless, endless.Each day.Every day.

That’s a
powerful statement, a challenge for adults who are around kids.It doesn’t matter if you’re a parent, a
teacher, a counselor, a coach, a next door neighbor.From whom else will a child learn that they
are loveable?From whom else will a
child learn that they are deserving of all of the love and kindness possible
that this world has to give?From whom
else will a child learn that they are unique, a gift to this world and all who
are in it?From whom else will a child
learn that there is “specialness” about them that only they can give to this
world, and that without them, this world would be less? Yet, there are times
when the opportunities for these actions, kind words, gestures exist and we
squander them.Too busy.Distracted.Worried about our own lives.

As a counselor,
I’ve dealt all too often with child abuse, with kids attempting suicide and
with kids who commit suicide.Somehow,
someway, this has to change.Kids
shouldn’t take their own life before it even has a chance, an opportunity to
begin.The thought should never enter
their mind.Not for one minute, not for one
second.

There is beauty
in each child.Yes, even the most
difficult child.There is something to
be loved about each child, that uniqueness, that specialness.It is up to each of us to convey that loveableness,
that specialness, that uniqueness to each and every child.That way, when a child forms the belief that
they can accept “only the love they think they deserve”, it will be the belief
that they deserve all of the love that is possible for someone to give and then
some.And more importantly, we break the
cycle.When those children grow into
adulthood and have children of their own . . . and on . . . and on.Something to think about . . .