April 11, 2008

I wonder if I’m aware of the time right now, I wonder if I ever wanted to know what’s going on outside this room. I wonder and I wonder until I cannot wait any longer to drag my feet to the exit door and watch everything turns into perpetual cold objects. But I’m afraid that once I leave, these objects around me will reincarnate into an empty space, without memories to remind me of what and how I’ve been.

I’ve been thinking a lot, losing sleep, pausing dreams.

I realized that I just grow older to get tired of it. Dreaming is no longer an escape from the dull reality because the future itself seems like a scheme, just another blur scene. And tears has lost it’s own essense and integrity. Nothing is genuinely right anymore.

March 31, 2008

Good evening, city folks. Jakarta is slowly raining again and the main light in my bedroom is dead, I only have a desk lamp which is enough to save the night and shockingly, I’m not complaining this time. Tonight until Friday, there will be scattered storms and possibly raining hard all the time. The weather isn’t friendly anymore, it’s been reported that the ice rain occured yesterday near my area and few hours ago, there were giant thunders and rained hardcore but suddenly stopped without a sound within five minutes.

And yesterday evening, after the rain, the sky turned to brightly warm yellow which reminded me of mustard. I wonder if it’s actually a rare thing in this city. I kinda like it.

March 28, 2008

Your sincere words is my last breath
With you, I reach over the surface
Loneliness is what we consume
What is me without you
Not a beautiful song
But a light humming sound

I remember when we were younger, I had you every Sunday morning sitting on our bunk bed, writing our diaries and hid them in our shared cupboard. Having our favorite cartoons marathon and getting cheered by sweet advertisements. We often found ourselves fighting but so desperately longing for each other’s presence.

When the dark came, we stayed awake and never slept so still, The world outside felt so unseen at night and we both loved dreaming of growing up, being on our own.

Now the sea has floated you away from me, and someday, just like you said.