I have a bit of a situation. My husband and I are planning to seperate in February. I have been married for almost 6 years now and the whole time that we have been married, I haven't been involved in any of the finances within our marriage. He has always done all the banking and everything. I don't even have a bank account with my name on it. (Since I work from home for cash I never needed one). No credit cards or nothing. He has recently admitted to lying to me about different financial matters. And I've notice that he has been spending a bit more lately, (all put on credit).

Our plans are to sell the house, and whatever we have in our pockets, (or his pocket) will pay off our other depts and then the remainder will be split down the middle.

I have asked him to start involving me in the finances...i.e. showing me statements, all our depts, etc. He has brushed it off. The bottom line is that I don't trust him at all anymore with the finances, and I don't know if I can legally make him get me involved in all this, or if he can just keep on screwing me.

My advice would be to get some legal advice through a family law lawyer first, before separating. As for the finances, photocopy as much as you can before separation to give to your lawyer. You will need as much information as possible in order to fill out a Financial Statement which will be crucial in your divorce/separation proceedings.

He may be racking up the $$$ on the credit cards as you are both liable and this is taken into the equation when doing equalization payments and all. When it comes to equalization, you can probably have him JUSTIFY each transaction ... and if you do not agree or if it was done in malicious way, there may be some legal options. Courts I assume don't like it when they can see that one spouse intentionally racked up bills ...

It can be 'scary' regarding finances, especially when you have not been involved from the beginning. This in itself can be an area of contention in a marriage ...

I am the the priamary when it comes to paying bills and all ... I do it all. Let me tell you ... with Internet banking ... paying bills and all is a SNAP. Don't let it intimidate you ... it really is a simple thing to do.

It can't be that hard to find out information, call the bank and any institution you deal with, give them your name and ask them for the information ...

Typical bills include ....

Mortgage (Call your bank or lending instituion, I'm sure you name is on the mortage)
Hydro
Gas
Credit Cards ... (Look at the mail that comes in to find out what institutions you deal with, open the mail and get involved)
Insurance Policies (Call the broker - House / Auto / Other)
Water
Car Payments (Again, normally via a bank)

Basically it boils down to this, keep your eye open as to what comes in the mail, is a good place to start and calling around to get information.

not that this will happen, but my ex separated from me and declared bankruptcy at the same time, essentually leaving me with all shared debt, I am not sure how this is going to play out in court, however from bankruptcy law, it looks like she cannot be held responsible for any of the debt incurred during marriage and therefore the total debt falls on me.

I believe bankruptcy should be a last resort, not a first or a tool to be used in divorce as my ex did. Although I may have to, but at this point it a good idea.

Financial info is complicated but, in short, only a small portion of total debt would go away from bankruptcy excluding student loans and large amounts owed to my family. I would also be homeless if this happened.