i was reading about competitive battling and EVs & IVs and stuff, now my head hurts, fuck all that im gonna raise the pokes i like however the fuck i want and casually enjoy battling people woohoo

Just don't follow those as a "must", but as sugestions.
For example, if the Smogon page says a Porygon-Z needs exactly 252 EVs on Special Attack and Speed, just put a preference on giving it more of those (Via vitamins, EV Braces) and avoid giving it Attack EVs (Using EV Berries).
I think investing on defenses and HP is not a bad thing, but in some cases Smogon seems to be focused too much on boosting to the max only two stats

Just don't follow those as a "must", but as sugestions.
For example, if the Smogon page says a Porygon-Z needs exactly 252 EVs on Special Attack and Speed, just put a preference on giving it more of those (Via vitamins, EV Braces) and avoid giving it Attack EVs (Using EV Berries).
I think investing on defenses and HP is not a bad thing, but in some cases Smogon seems to be focused too much on boosting to the max only two stats

Wat. 40 EVs in def or hp would do nothing. And on some pokemon it would be pointless. EVs boost you past some things, like if you need to go faster than a pokemon.

i was reading about competitive battling and EVs & IVs and stuff, now my head hurts, fuck all that im gonna raise the pokes i like however the fuck i want and casually enjoy battling people woohoo

EVs aren't difficult at all. You train something against certain things, so that one or more of its stats are above average. Natures, IVs, EVs, all are easy to get a hold of, and they're all major players. It's the difference between 328 attack and 186.