In my old school, the instructor was moving in a few months. So miraculously this student who was pretty good at forms got promoted 2 belts (over a few months) to where it was the minimum to teach a class, with the understanding that she would be on the fast track to black belt since she would be training us. This woman was very very small, and nowhere near skilled enough to do anything to me when we sparred, except get the 'little tappy shots' that score points but never hurt.

So that was it for me. The old instructor was very skilled and had a thirst for learning 'outside the system' that we shared. Several others in the style were very good and we could spar to the point where I felt like I was learning something (just not at my school, since others were leaving also)

I was interested in learning to fight as if a full-sized guy or more was trying to beat my head in, not to 'perfect my form' and dance around sparring. I could not respect this student at all, and lost some respect for my old instructor and the whole system for valuing keeping a location open more than keeping standards.

That really really burns, man. That's exactly what makes these schools go to the stupid.

For me it was getting to free spar my assistant instructor, outstriking him, getting him to bend forward and go for the ugliest takedown in the world, catching him in a guilliotine, and pulling guard to get the tap out.

This was before I knew any grappling at all, and the extent of my "skills" was watching the UFCs.

I've been going to a ITF TKD place for a few months now. I like the people there, but have never liked all the ceremony and oaths and reciting and things like that. From the time that the class starts and all the bowing and the oaths and warmups, 15 minutes out of an hour class are gone. But that's not my problem.

On Wednesday, there are two adult classes (11 and up, usually the class is mostly 12 and 13 year olds). The first is a beginner class (white belt and yellow stripe) and the second is green and blue belt. That being said, anyone of any rank can attend these classes. So during the first class, the higher ranks (which I am) get virtually no instruction because they already know the techniques inside and out. During the second class, the higher ranks get virtually no instruction because there are too many lower ranks trying to do the more advanced techniques when they don't have a clue. Try having people learn spinning side and hook kicks before they can do the regular ones. See what I mean? But that's not my problem.

I liked going to the two classes so I could work out, something I have no room at home to do. But I got tired of doing all the white belt stuff at a snail's pace during the first class. So I asked if I could work out on my own in the back during the first class and was told that I could. I would go out of my way not to make noise or interfere with class. During the class, all the students face the fron of the room and I was in the back, so I wouldn't be a distraction. The best part was that I got to work on what I knew I needed to work on (largely, my endurance and stamina) at my own pace.

Two nights ago, I went to do this as I had for the past two months, but was asked by the instructor to stop doing it. He told me, politely, that some of the student's parents had complained that I was not taking the class and implied that I was taking an easy route. They also complained that I was a distraction.

My point was that the workout I went through was much harder than the class and that I always took the second class in the evening, so any claims that I was taking an easy way were absurd. The second point was that the students in the class had their backs to me for the entire class time and that I made less noise than they did. And when it comes down to it, it's an "adult" class. If they get too distracted by someone working out in the back, it's their problem and not mine.

I didn't say any of these things because I like the instructor and respect him personally (even if the ITF system is seriously flawed as I see it). That and I was already debating leaving for the reasons given in the first two paragraphs. That and there are a number of parents there that are strong-willed and arrogant and they are not kept in check (they sit in the front of the room in chairs and critique their children during class, which I think is a hell of a lot more distracting than anything I do).

My original goal was to attend both my shitty Isshin-Ryu dojo and crosstrain in BJJ/MT. The classes were at different times, and the drive was exactly as long as the time between classes, so at first things seemed like a pretty good deal. First BJJ class went nice; I got personal instruction from the top instructor and left in good spirits. I went to karate immediately thereafter and had a good training session.

Next day I had to skip karate because it fell on a Muay Thai day, and I hadn't tried it out yet. Day after that, I skipped karate to attend two BJJ classes in a row. You know, just to get a feel for the different teachers. The following week karate rolled by again but, gee, wouldn't you know it, I had just found out about Warrior Way's hidden NHB classes.

I went back to karate after all this, and the experience had definitely been soured. Sensei almost never showed up anymore due to his new Ahabian obsession with this retarded pyramid scheme he'd become roped up in, and the absolute lack of ANY contact, be it with sparring, pads, drilling, anything!, killed it for me.

The last time I went to class I drove by, absolutely dreading showing up. I tried to make excuses but could find none. When I became consciously aware that I was making excuses to begin with, I just told myself "You don't HAVE to go...". And that was it. I drove by the school and bought myself pancakes at IHOP instead, then headed off to BJJ afterwards.

Captain's Log: Just a little update for all my TRUE and HONEST friends out there:

1) I am STRAIGHT! I am STRAIGHT! Get it through your thick skulls, numbskulls!

2) My name is not Ian Brandon Something.

3) Kacey is coming with me now. I have stolen her from the other Christian Weston Chandler.

REMINDER: I am still the one and only true creator of sonichu and rosechu electric hedgehog pokemon

I have a similar story about how I left my old McDojo, but I've been saving it for until I have enough solid dirt on them to do a full indictment. Right now I just have my own experiences and the words of better men.

I'm really sorry to hear about what happened at your Dojo. I've joined and left many schools over the years, too many to count, sometimes on good terms, sometimes not. My experience has been that it's rarely worth explaining to people the real reasons why you're leaving, especially if its because you're unhappy about the way the school has changed. The reasons why things have changed are usually too complicated to be corrected and reversed, especially after the damage has been done. And people's feelings are often hurt when you tell them that you're not happy about the solutions that they've chosen to address their problems, that you're not happy with the way things have been changed to try and keep their school going.

The old saying about "one door opening while another door closes" is probably the best way to look at things. That way you can move forward and still keep the positive feelings you have about the place that you're leaving. Trying to explain to someone that their school now makes you unhappy is never a good thing, it usually just ends things, diminishes fond memories, and kills friendships. I've done that in the past, and have always regretted it. It's much better to just leave, stop going, and find a new place to train. And if people ever ask you about why you left, just save everyone's feelings, and lie. I would rather people think of me as the jerk who left without saying goodbye, then have them remember me as the jerk who told them that their "new" and "improved" school really sucked. And in the end, the true be told, it's not really my job to offer people the red pill anyways.

You have given out too much Reputation in the last 24 hours, try again later.

I have NEVER even come CLOSE to seeing this message before. I still owe some of you +reps for your shared stories/posts. (I know you didn't post them to get repped, but many of you deserve it for sharing and making this what I feel to be a very successful thread.)

j416to,

I know what you mean about not being your job to offer the red pill, and lying to keep the peace. I've had to lie for a long time about why I don't attend classes so I wouldn't discourage others from attending. I don't want to sink the school, I just don't want to deal with their **** right now. Of course, given this latest issue, I kinda DO want to sink the school sometimes. LOL!

Edge,

You asked me if I had actually spoken with my Sensei about why I left class. My sensei is from the Old School of the 70s and 80s...when he goes on a tear, he doesn't listen to reason and doesn't like being challenged. It doesn't happen often anymore, but when his temper flares, it's best to just let him go on and on. I know this from experience, as I am generally a confrontational person. I'm actually amazed I didn't have more blackbelts beating on me in my lower-rank years. LOL! I have debated speaking to him privately about my reasons, but I suspect that j416's words will prove true and it would just diminish a friendship/mentorship that, despite my earlier post, is still intact. He himself is a good man with excellent skills and experience. I just think he's making some bad decisions right now.

Although I appreciate everyone's input, there are two things I should mention:

1) I live in a basement apartment. I have no place for personal training equipment right now.

2) Bags are not as common in gyms up here as they may be down there. And they are NEVER maintained or secured properly. So although I might find a gym membership for 350-400 bucks a year, I wouldn't be getting what I need.

I am playing with the idea of negotiating a "no classes" agreement with my club for a reduced fee. Since I won't be learning from their classes, I shouldn't be paying for it. I doubt they'll go for it, but I think I might try it.

Any other suggestions or stories would be very welcome.

Regards,
CrimsonTiger

"Na'h, they should go to old school rules.
One guy gets sword and sheild, the other gets a net and a trident.
Lions eat christians between rounds." - Strong Machine

You bring up some really good points. I've been debating how to handle leaving the school. Despite the problems, it's still the best TKD school in the area (and there are a lot, and I went to all of them, including two ATA schools and a TSD school that was so bad it defied belief... ye gods).

There's always the thing with not wanting to hurt the feelings of the instructors. Though I don't like their styles, they are very nice and sincere guys who are dedicated to teaching. For that, I have a lot of respect for them. If they were jerks, that would be something else. And I don't want to bad mouth the school in front of the other students. If it meets their needs and desires (and is very cheap for number of classes, etc.), who am I to say anything.

I've decided to switch to BJJ full time, something I started doing twice per week about three months ago. So rather than saying that I am leaving the school because of my problems with it, I'm going to say that I need to devote more time to BJJ in order to advance my skills there; to switch focus for the time being.