I had something to say, but totally can't remember. I'm doing my taxes this afternoon and my brain is fried :

I have an appt with a new accountant (since we moved this year) on Tuesday, which means I have a deadline to get all our stuff together. Quite a job when you take into account we own our own business. Ugh. I think we should be getting a decent return, though, so that makes it worth it.

My aunt with lung cancer seems to be at the very last stage... my poor uncle. My mom called to let me know today that I should get all our laundry done and be ready to travel for the memorial service by the end of the week. I figured we'd leave the kids with my in-laws, but Killy had a fever over the weekend and since MIL is immune-compromised (she has lupus) I don't think they'd be comfortable watching the kids for 12+ hours whatever day we end up going to TN. But since I've never been away from the kids that long, I don't know how it would work out anyway. (its about a 3 hour drive out to where they live from here)

Flapjack- hmm. Poor Skye. Other than the family adjustment, things are going good?

HoneyTree - you rock. We decided to just do a stawberry jar and an herbal hanging basket. We'll probably get the plants from the local co-op or farmer's market. Everything else is coming from the CSA I'm organizing. We'll be volunteering at a local (well, about a half hour away) organic farm once a week to twice a month. I'm so excited because it will give the kids a chance to run around and get SUNSHINE this summer. Gosh darn it we are getting tans this summer. I feel like we are all (as a family) so vitamin D (natural sunlight derived) deficient so I'm really looking forward to it.

I've been nesting/co-oping/spending way too much time online lately, unfortunately in spite of the loud protest of my pelvis. Baby is lower than ever, but not "dropped" yet. So basically my pelvis feels like it is falling apart. I have stocked up on essentials that we'd basically run out of and we should be all set here soon. I found a co-op group on yahoo that has helped out with tremendous savings on stuff we needed to restock household wise.
Anyway.
I've also been cooking up a storm. I feel like each day I dish out two meals (lunch and dinner) is a huge success. And my only accomplishment of the day too.
And for some reason I decided the kids are getting easter baskets/gifts this year. I have crocs, new Pj's, books, strawberry pots, bilbos and sigg bottles lined up. Feel like I'm going overboard but it's mostly stuff they'll need and use in the summer. I got dh and I new sigg bottles because our nalgene bottles which I have been wanting to replace for some time were all scratched up and leaking. So now the boys will pretty much only drink water from our bottles. . I'm gonna let them pick out the designs for their bottles and hopefully by easter they will have forgotten.

I wish someone would send some already cooked food to me. I can't stand the smell of cooking food right now. I can usually eat something if I haven't had to smell it cooking, but DH made me an omelette the other night and the smell of it cooking ruined it for me and I couldn't eat. Blech.

I wish someone would send some already cooked food to me. I can't stand the smell of cooking food right now. I can usually eat something if I haven't had to smell it cooking, but DH made me an omelette the other night and the smell of it cooking ruined it for me and I couldn't eat. Blech.

Thanks for the confidence boost, Monique! I am imagining this lush garden in my mind and telling myself that I have all the skills and perseverance I need to make it happen--it will be my most ambitious effort to date. I am in awe of YOU organizing a CSA. That's no small feat! Volunteering at the organic farm sounds divine.

DiD, even without the m/s, cooked eggs in the morning sometimes make me gag. I feel for ya, sister. It's not the season yet, but I had smoothies for breakfast almost every morning with Woody because they didn't smell like anything.

So, hey! This is my post! Yay! (I don't know why it matters, really, it just seems like an interesting mark of passage in our little community, so I'll treat it as such... ) It's been beyond amazing to get to "know" y'all over the past two years and many months. You've no idea how often something one of you says creates a ripple of thoughts or actions in my life--interesting, enlightening, and challenging--so thanks for that. :

Hi everyone! I having a disagreement with some broccoli and my insides are NOT happy with me. I can't eat broccoli, I know that - but every once in a while I just can't resist it and I buy it and eat it and then... ugh. You don't want details. WHY why why of all the things on the earth that I could be unable to digest, why does it have to be something so tasty and good for me (theoretically) as broccoli? Especially good, organic, fresh, local, purple broccoli???? DH was like, yeah I can see why you'd eat this and suffer later willingly - it was that good. Sigh.

So anyway, I finally have a 2-year-old. Rowan has suddenly turned "difficult". A little bit. She's started doing the flopsy thing when she doesn't want to go somewhere and is reaaaallly resistant to being talked into things she doesn't want to do (like taking the dog for a walk the past couple of days.) I am trying really hard to be patient, and not force things if I don't completely have to - but there is just no negotiating the dog's walk - it has to be done, and it has to be done in the time between when Rowan wakes up from her nap and dinner. Unfortunately that's the time she wants to spend just puttering around the house. I just hope this doesn't persist or get worse. Of course as soon as we're actually out of the house she's happy as can be, racing me down the sidewalk. : But up until that point, there is a lot of wailing going on.

QofC - I'm sorry about your aunt. I hope your family can stay close and strong during this.

I am in awe of YOU organizing a CSA. That's no small feat! Volunteering at the organic farm sounds divine.

Lest you really put me on a pedestal, let me clarify I'm organizing a local community group part of the CSA that is done through the organic farm we will be volunteering at. So basically I just had to troll for people to join and apply and pay and we will be transporting the csa boxes back here from the farm every week or so. So not a small feat but not as huge as I guess I'd made it sound

oh, and on the gardening front, I finally bought my lb of redworms for my worm factory yesterday. This is how bad it's been. I bought the worm factory with Christmas money on December 29th. I just ordered the worms yesterday. That's almost two months behind on composting!!!! at least I have a good excuse (i.e. the bump).

So anyway, I finally have a 2-year-old. Rowan has suddenly turned "difficult". A little bit. She's started doing the flopsy thing when she doesn't want to go somewhere and is reaaaallly resistant to being talked into things she doesn't want to do (like taking the dog for a walk the past couple of days.) I am trying really hard to be patient, and not force things if I don't completely have to - but there is just no negotiating the dog's walk - it has to be done, and it has to be done in the time between when Rowan wakes up from her nap and dinner. Unfortunately that's the time she wants to spend just puttering around the house. I just hope this doesn't persist or get worse. Of course as soon as we're actually out of the house she's happy as can be, racing me down the sidewalk. : But up until that point, there is a lot of wailing going on.

Welcome to the "how the h*ll do I get out of the house" club! Neela has a maximum of three hours at home in the morning before she turns into a stir-crazy maniac, but she also totally drags her heels on leaving. Mostly the putting clothes on part, which I'm sure I've vented about here before.

QofC~ I'm thinking of your family and wishing your aunt a peaceful passing.

HoneyTree~ Thanks for being here and part of this community! I really appreciate all of your wisdom and enthusiasm

"Guess what? It's a magical world. And when I sing, my songs are in it."Madly in love with my 7 and 4 year old daughters

I've been in the land of surly two year olds since Killy was about 10 months - that's seriously when he hit the terrible twos! Ellie hit them right at her birthday, but even so she's still a lot "easier" than Killian ever was so I try not to complain too much. Read Raising the Highly Spirited Child, or whatever the title of that book is - its so inspiring and gives a much more positive perspective on these challenging times, especially with the transition-stresses (going from sleeping to awake, home to the car, etc).

My dad is out with my aunt and uncle now, it was a really rough night. My aunt has major fear of pain and a major love of pain medications and a very addictive personality, so its been a very hard journey the last few months. I think she's also terribly afraid to die, so she's fighting it even though she's in pain and terrified of that pain and its all just a very viscous cycle. I wish I had something more positive to report.

You could do it if you had to. Right now I'm just kind of in survival mode. Anything not totally crucial to our existence just isn't happening. And I've been having my groceries delivered so I don't have to step foot inside a grocery store.

It was nice, wasn't it Mel? We lucked out and had a perfectly clear sky for it.

HoneyTree, congrats on your 1000th post! Yes, it is a milestone. You are MDC elite now.

Well we have arranged a really great childcare situation for Brynn, I am happy to report. When I first started thinking about finding some type of situation, I wasn't really worried. And then I started looking around at our options, and got very worried! I talked to quite a few people, and then had a friend offer to watch Brynn for free (which I won't accept, but man!) starting whenever we want to, through the summer or basically however long we need. She really wants a regular playmate for her daughter (they are not in any type of preschool or social program), and she and Brynn get along really well. And I trust this mama totally, so it feels like the right choice. They live out in the country so they will have lots of fun outdoor activities to do during the warmer months, like garden, chase the chickens, pick apples and pears, and play in the baby pool. Stuff I'd want her to do anyway! So with that, I am actually feeling really revved up to get back to work sooner than later. I pulled all of my books and binders out of the basement yesterday (well, not all of them - just the ones I need for the next couple of months) and I had this feeling while I was looking at the detritus of 7 years of higher education...like, Wow, did I really know all of this stuff once upon a time?? It's going to be like training for a marathon, almost. My brain is way out of shape!

QoC, any updates on your aunt?

Helen, and DiD for that matter, I just laugh when I read your posts. I can barely keep it together with ONE, so I don't know how y'all are even keeping all of those little people alive!

We had a perfectly clear night here - the eclipse was stunning. I had to go to my class, but Rowan and DH spent some time looking at it and she told me all about it this morning... "it was a different COLOUR!!!"

My food culture class last night was inspiring and depressing all at once - we talked about food branding and marketing and what was truly depressing was how much marketing is aimed at children. What's depressing to me is that NONE of the food that is advertised is actually necessary or even really helpful. The whole concept of "value-added" food is just disgusting. Like, all those "probiotic" yogurts? REAL yogurt has always contained bacterial cultures, plus you can make it yourself with a heating pad and a mason jar from regular milk, AND it doesn't have loads of sugar and cornstarch and flavourings and crap in it. UGH. I decided a while ago to try to feed my family as package-free as possible on health and ecological grounds - it's hard to get around some things coming in containers, like milk and eggs, but those are at least recyclable/reusable. And yes, the odd cracker sneaks into the house. But I'm trying. And I think I'm going to try harder to get the message out that if it's in a package, it's probably bad for you - and that there is probably an inverse relationship between package attractiveness and food value. Anyway, I put a post on my food blog about it and I asked for feedback - if y'all have a sec, can you go check it out pleeeeeease?

Helen, I hope Skye is adjusting. Poor little girl - I wish you were closer and you could send her over to play with Rowan. River is sooo lovely. He looks just like Steve. I hope you can enjoy all his wonderful babyness. Do you remember what it was like with Alex when Isaac was born? Is this really different?

Rowan woke up at 6 this morning, soaking wet. That would be the downside of my class nights - Daddy does the bedtime snack and the diaper : Hopefully she will have a long nap. Actually, no - hopefully she will have a normal nap and then go to bed early. And then I could watch Survivor on our purloined cable!!! (We canceled our cable, and got a refund cheque from the cable company - but it's still on. heh.)

who would have thought that i would make it to 39 weeks...today/tomorrow starts the 39th week for me! crazy. dh is no longer "cut off", IYKWIM and that makes it way more fun at my house now. i have a MW appt in a couple of hours. been trying to walk a lot and stay active but i sat a bunch today through LLL, lunch out and driving around. not going to walk on the trail either b/c we have to drive to the MW's office instead.

it's so fun with ezra these days. i enjoy being with her at the library or reading at the house b/c she's just so into it. she remembers books and characters, plots and asks for them. her sleeping and potty learning are really going well so it's no longer hard for us to do either of those. she tells me, "mama, i love you" and hugs me strong. so many things that i like about her spirit...i know you all feel the same about your toddlers. it's such a joy.

Well, my aunt passed this morning. My dad and uncle and the Hospice Chaplain and nurse were there with her, and she was awake and totally aware till the end. Apparently, she suddenly became very peaceful (finally) for a few minutes and then just stopped breathing. I'm so glad she's not in pain anymore, but so sad for my uncle. The memorial is going to be Saturday and I guess we'll be taking the kids, since they've had colds this week so my in-laws wouldn't watch them (MIL has Lupus, they don't want to expose her to anything). Honestly, that's what I'm most worried about. Killy's just starting to understand/be curious about death, so who knows what inappropriate things he might do or say. Hopefully everyone will realize that he's little and doesn't really get it, but he's really big for his age and just looks older, so people always expect more of him.

I also spent all morning doing taxes. What a day.

I hope all is going well for everyone else. I'm holding up okay, I just have a terrible headache at the moment.

Amy- If I have a spare second to breathe... I am very intrigued by your blog and will definitely check it out and comment.

Q of C- Of course... major s: and so sorry for your loss, and your uncle's loss. I'm sure most people will understand. And then again... nothing of that sort might even come about. Hoping your trip is peaceful and isn't too hard on you.

Q of C--I'm sorry for your loss and for your family's loss. Hopefully it won't be too problematic taking the kids, either for them or for you. I took Ella to a funeral last spring when our old neighbor passed away. (Old meaning, "in our previous neighborhood" but she was also 90 too.) I sat really, really close to the door so I could whisk her out if she got loud, but she wasn't talking understandably then and was too young to really understand about death or really get too much about what was going on, so there wasn't that same concern as with Killy. I was actually thinking about that the other day--what if somebody close to us or one of our dogs died now and I had to explain it to her? What would I say? How does one explain death to kids this age? I'm sorry that you have had so much loss in your family recently, and that you are having to deal with this situation too.

Amy--I'm glad you found a good situation for Brynn so you can start back with school! (I meant to get into contact with you about that but I've been pretty preoccupied and sort of forgot!! I'll email ya!)

Gunter--I am waiting for you to hit 41 weeks and start freaking out and getting impatient!! Just because Murphy's Law of Pregnancy states that those who are being careful to not go into labor early invariably end up going overdue!! However, I'm just teasing--I'm sure your baby will come in his/her own perfect time!!

Helen--I hope that Skye gets adjusted to her new brother and things get easier around your house. It must be a huge change for her to not be the baby anymore, so I imagine that it will take some getting used to.

spughy--you are the most hardcore traditional foodie that I know!! I will have to check out your blog post, but haven't yet. I am not that hardcore, not in the least (one of my kids first words was "cheddar bunnies". Okay that's two words! Actually it wasn't her first, but the girl definitely knew her way around a cracker at a young age.) Not only have I never plucked a chicken, but making turkey meatballs from store ground turkey from a styrofoam tray last night made me feel kind of icky! Are you still trying to lose weight? After a shameful slump over the holidays, I am back in the saddle big-time, so maybe we can resume our buddy system!

all tax doers--(Mel and Q of C I think)--rock on with your bad, non-procrastinating selves!!! We have to get on that soon too, but I think DH is doing it again this year.

HoneyTree--good luck with your garden! And congrats on your senior member status! Funny how that is such a big milestone, isn't it?! I felt the same way too! (Although I never bothered to pick a senior title.)

willemsmama--have fun with your worms!! I'd offer to help if you have any questions, but really you'd be better off asking Mel since she knows a lot more than I do!!!!

"Raising Your Spirited Child" has definitely been a big help for me. Some of the things in there I had already sort of figured out on my own (like giving Ella more warning for transitions and sort of letting her know what was going on with our day and what to expect). But one of the most important things in there for me was realizing and accepting that we just have a bit of a tempermental mismatch in terms of introversion/extroversion--just realizing clearly how being with/around people affects me and Ella very differently in terms of our energy and abilities to manage/maintain ourselves has helped me. In the last month or two, I've come to terms with the fact that our needs are just different--she needs to be with other people and be out and active a lot, and I need to be alone and pursuing my own thoughts/activities a lot. I really realized that putting her into the playroom at the gym several times a week is not only the best thing for me, but it's really making *her* lots happier too! She talks about the gym and the ladies who work there all the time and she actually asks to go to the gym now--"Go to the gym, see Amelia and babies and kids and friends and toys!!! Play at gym!!!" And while it's not exactly "vegging" or "solitude" to be slogging away on an elliptical trainer in a room full of other sweating, straining people, the fact that I don't have to make polite conversation with anybody unless I want to makes it close enough to alone time to qualify for me!

More on the gym--I had a couple of initial appointments with a personal trainer as part of an introductory special offer, and I ended up through some twist of fate getting possibly the best personal trainer on the staff, who is also a full time employee of the gym with other responsibilities there. (So she's kind of there all the time, and I see her we wave to each other whenever I go to work out, not just when I have an appointment with her specifically. Which is good because I feel like somebody is keeping an eye on me!) I was not thinking that I would like working with a trainer at all, but I actually was really suprised and it's been really great, and I've already been seeing results from the working out I've done in the past few weeks. (Lost 5 lbs, toned up in the waist area/thighs, etc.) I've decided to make a commitment to this and to continue working with her at least for the next five weeks, twice a week, so this is my top area of focus right now in my life. Yes, me, a gym rat--who whudda thunk it?! We had a good talk after our training session today about a few specific goals that I have and we came up with a plan to work towards that, so that's very exciting. Also nervewracking--I am scared of failing and disappointing myself, which in the past I've sometimes dealt with by not trying so at least I didn't fail! So it's feeling like progress, not only because I am getting into better shape but I am confronting some issues that have stopped me in other areas of my life, and learning some things about myself as I'm going through this process. It's really important to me to get my own body image issues under control, so I don't end up infecting Ella with my own crap or projecting stuff onto her, which I realize my mom really did with me (and still does, to a degree.)

I'd better wrap up here and go put the child to bed!!! DH has been very patient and long-suffering this evening and watched her and got her dinner while I did, well, basically nothing! So the putting to sleep is my gig!

Kavita, I think I need to read that book. None of mine really qualify as laid-back at all, and sometimes I don't deal with it brilliantly.

Spughy, Alex was phenomenally independent from an early age- he was walking at 9 months, and would happily just go and do stuff (mess, mostly) by himself. Skye, otoh, LIKES me, and likes company. Right now she's spending a load of time with Isaac, who is getting her through this because he's btdt not so long ago.
Bless him I know he drives me insane on a regular basis, but I love him so much.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.

the babe has officially 7 days to be born before i schedule a c-section for next friday. our family's birthday calender need a feb baby.

you all suck who wish more than one week on me.

i was 2cm last night at my first internal with my mw. soft and mushy. this would be such a great weekend to have a babe. s/he could share a birthday with one of two great people in my life.

today, ezra woke up with dried snot all over her face so our "walk the babe's head down" adventure is out b/c i don't want her to be in public right now. we're snuggled in the bed eating raisins, instead. send her healing vibes and send me "don't get sick" vibes!