I have been experiencing this thought lately about my process and I have gone into reactions over fear of not making my process. I have separated myself from the awareness that if I work steady and steadfast I should make process after some 7 – 14 years or so. All depending on my work and my effort and my commitment. My ability to live and practice what is best for all in common sense. Breath by breathe. Day by day.

I will use the very best medicine available to mankind to use: Self forgiveness.

Enjoy this original blog.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear of thinking I will not make process and I will not be able to stand within my last breathe on this earth, thinking my life have been in vain and is meaningless, and I should simply quit and give up my commitment and my practice and walking of process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I am like Jesus being tempted by the devil like I am being tested within my ability to slow down, continue breathing, and to live inn common sense and what is best for all; awareness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience anxiety within my physical when this thought occurs and for thinking that I am a loser and that no one wants anything to do with me and I see that I also go paranoid and think it is a conspiracy against me since I experience anxiety and fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I can feel this anxiety in my body within my physical and it hurts, and I would feel like crying inside from taking on this thought that would sort of burn a hole within my chest of burning/pain/anxiety.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself and my process to the process of A or B or C or D, and thinking that their process is so much more prefect or nice and cool etc. going into jealousy within my comparing with others radon people that also walk process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my writing and my economy and my work or my life and family to them (random friends/colleagues) and to start to give into this further comparesnent and valuing this over that etc. of what I perceive to my colleagues and their lives and really just compare for no further reason, what so ever, than comparing inn itself, as a mind fuck and judging like a machine simply; judging and valuing, within my very mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into the idea that my life does not matter, I cannot make my process, I best just resign and quit, totally burying myself in ideas of less worth and self judgements and inferiority, all within a mind bubble.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create this belief that I am sacred or I am special like this or that direction within myself, and that since I have bene hearing voices for so long I am extraordinary and I am special that makes me a special child or a indigo child or any way out of the ordinary from others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to notice that hidden anger within me that is like aggression over fearing not to make process and fearing not to make my assignments and to have unrealistic expectations to myself and my living, and I would project out this anger at my parents and doing so I would be removing myself from the experience of having this anger at all.

When and as I see myself going into thoughts or fear of not making process, I stop and I slow myself down and I breathe. I realize that there is nothing to fear, fear is fake and not real, it is really just to push through, and make it. I realize that it is simply to push through and face my struggles and to face my process and push through. I realize that there is really nothing to it. I need to bring all parts of myself back to myself. I realize that I must not give into fear at all, as fear is fake. I commit myself to bring back pieces of myself back to myself. I commit myself to give myself honesty and realistic chores and tasks. I commit myself to the unification of me. I commit myself to the awareness that fear is fake and not existent. I commit myself to stop creating thoughts out of stress and pre – program. I commit myself to not have thoughts as thoughts are separation of self. I commit myself to equality and oneness – and to realize that I have only this life on earth – I commit myself to give all my best for the future generations – all the time, breath by breath.