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This is my first production 100% all me. I composed, sang and engineered this entire song electronically, my voice is the only actual acoustic sound. All of my guitars are VSTS (shreddage & prominy). A majority of this was produced in Cubase with the bass & some FX done in Reason. I am a newer singer (2 years speech level singing).

I am not looking for stylistic comments or if this is a sellable song, but rather I am seeking commentary on (1) the quality of my singing (was I on key and not strained) (2) how “realistic” the guitars sound and (3) how well I mixed the entire song. If you hear any problematic points please comment. Thanks!

‘Not really sure how to do this, and I always have difficulty with it, but here it goes.

Here’s my latest song for review. Mainly, please let me know what Genre you think it falls under, if any,

and if you get the concept of the song. All other comments welcome, as well – pro or con. Thank you.

Here are the lyrics:

Friends are far away when money changes handsFind a friendly face when power shifts the dance

Only like likes likeTrying to find what’s like, like

When friends become your foesDivided by your hair or noseYou’re judged from your head to your toesBy & By when nothing else goes

It seems alright when it’s goodIt seems alright until you’re the one who’s no good

Well I would lay down, with the rest of ’em, there the best of ’emI would lay down, with the rest of ’em, yes the rest of ’em

When money runs the showWho should be allowedWhen it matters who you knowWho should be allowed

Only like likes likeTrying to find what’s like, like

When natives have to goWho should be allowedWhen hate is status quoWho should be allowed

It seems alright when it’s goodIt seems alright until you’re the one who’s no good

Well I would lay down, with the rest of ’em, there the best of ’emI would lay down, with the rest of ’em, yes the rest of ’emI would lay down, with the rest of ’em, there the best of ’emI would lay down, with the rest of ’em, that’s the best of ’em

When money runs the showWho should be allowedWhen it matters who you knowWho should be allowed

Only like likes likeTrying to find what’s like, like

When natives have to goWho should be allowedWhen hate is status quoWho should be allowed

It seems alright when it’s goodIt seems alright until you’re the one who’s no good

Well I would lay down, with the rest of ’em, there the best of ’emI would lay down, with the rest of ’em, yes the rest of ’emI would lay down, with the rest of ’em, there the best of ’emI would lay down, with the rest of ’em, that’s the best of ’emI would lay down, with the rest of ’em, there the best of ’em I would lay down, with the rest of ’em, yes the rest of ’em

Six days on the road, clear eyed and tongue tied
return to zero and falling in a landslide
it’s not my place to wander from living in a hole
and now I’m out of reasons, can you make me whole

Chorus

On sugar lane you set me free I’m on my way back home
I’m on my way to reset me can’t wait to be alone

Return to zero, now is like the last time
Looking for a door or anyway to get outside
Someday we’ll find the high road where thornless flowers grow
We’ll find the easy answers they all seem to know

Chorus

And in a little while we’ll all be falling apart
and all of the kings men wont put us back again
I never worry cause were all just falling apart
If you only had one life would you live like you mean it
or would you just laugh on the easy way out

This is the first song I’ve done mixing acoustic drums along with midi. The drums sounded a little over the top to me so I back them off. I’m still concerned they may be a little much in the chorus! However, I’m a little too close and have listen too much at this point to decide. It’s good to take a break and listen with fresh ears. Everything else is in the box! Let me have your critiques (songwriting, production, etc.) with both barrels! Written for the purpose of commercial electronic pop! Thanks in advance for listening and commenting! Bob

Verse:
All of this fighting and the slamming doors it’s bad
It’s taking a toll on me
I need a reaction
To know
Your heart still bleeds for me

Pre Chorus:
On the one hand
You’re my best friend
But the nights that we fight
It’s like we are enemies
Lord I’m begging please

Chorus:
I don’t wanna be a Casualty
A remainder of this insanity
Let’s move on – Let’s move on
Beyond the fire and rain – Let’s ease the pain
Lay down your peace come lay with me
Take my love – Take me love

Verse:
It’s like we’re walking on eggshells when it’s good
God forbid we say the wrong thing
Let’s forgive and go forward
And retain
What little faith we have

I see your sky, See your clouds
See your world upside down
I bring the sun, today
I watch you climb broken walls
watch you tumble watch you fall
leaving the pain, today
R'member love
Here for you
R'member love
That's all you need, to do
Oh, today, today
Don't let the tears get in your way
instrumental break / verse
R'member love
Here for you
R'member love
That's all you need, to do
Oh, today, today
Don't let the tears get in your way
I know your sky, blue and wide
Know your heart from inside
I know your smile, Today
R'member love
Here for you
R'member love
That's all you need, to do
Oh, Today, Today, Today

Now I have been thinking about you
Cause you been talking about me
Now I want to see this thing through
Cause you mean so much to me
I’ll be there no matter what you do
I’ll be there just to be close to you
I believe, I believe I’m the one for you

I am the one whose going to hold you all night
I am the one who’ll make everything alright
I am the one, I am the one for you

Now I, I believe in you
Cause you yeah your love is so true
Now we, we walk and talk all day
Cause now we’re in love that way
I’ll be there to give you all you need
I’ll be there just you wait and see
I believe, I believe I’m the one for you

I am the one whose going to tuck you in tight
I am the one who’ll make love to you all night
I am the one, I am the one for you

Now I, I’m so in love with you
Cause you, yeah you love me so true
I’ll be there to hold your hand
I’ll be there and swear to be your man
I believe, I believe I am the one for you

t’s two o’clock in the afternoon
I’m smoking on my second pack of cigarettes
I’m getting by by getting high
on alcohol intensified lorcets
I can hear my phone ring
but I just let the machine answer it
just leave a message at the tone
don’t feel like talking when I’m alone with my regrets

I sit by the window
look out and watch the children play
my mind takes me back there
to my childhood days
before complications worries
and troubles took control of it
those simple days are long gone
and time keeps on marching on with my regrets

I look in the mirror
what do I see
a weary old man
looking back at me
I think about some things I’ve done
I wish I could forget
way too long I’ve let them slide
now there’s nowhere that I can hide from my regrets

I had an old friend
who checked out of this world last year
I would give anything
if my old friend was still here
I should have been there for him
maybe I could’ve talked him out of it
I think about it every day
but I just can’t find a way to pray about my regrets

I look in the mirror
what do I see
a weary old man
looking back at me
I think about some things I’ve done
I wish I could forget
way too long I’ve let them slide
now there’s nowhere that I can hide from my regrets

I threw the receiver across the room
And knocked off the picture of us and you
I watched it fall and break on the floor
Like all of your promises
You lost a believer a bit to soon
You blocked off the passage to the truth
And I lost it all when you walked out the door
On all of your promises

You kept my heart, you kept my soul, you kept them
But none of your promises

I knew it was over a bit to soon
You crossed out your name on the door
You kept your cool when you turned your back
On all of your promises
And I try to remember a time and a place
I close my eyes try to picture your face
And the look in your eyes when you lied
And made all of your promises

I threw the receiver across the room
And knocked off the picture of us and you
And watched it fall and break on the floor
Like all of your promises
In a moment frozen forever in time
I crossed the line between the real and sublime
You broke your word and I broke my fall
On all of your promises

I believe that I have wings to fly but right now I just take the bus
Me and boss been living on cheap wine but it doesn’t seem to bother us
I’ll be parking my sports cars and writing my memoirs
like nothing this world’s ever seen
when my destination catches up with my dreams then I will be Mr. Clean

Pleased to meet you pardon the mess my other life’s in the shop
But leave your name and your address and I’ll send a postcard when I reach the top
I’ve been thinking big and living small I guess there’s no in between
But when My destination catches up with my dreams I will be Mr. Clean

I had a little too much fun last night, I probably should get some sleep
instead of laying here holding my head making promises that I can’t keep
If lady luck never shines on me I guess what you get is what you see
But when My destination catches up with my dreams I will be Mr. Clean
When My destination catches up with my dreams then I will be Mr. Clean