Flaming Moe's Theme SongWhen the weight of the world has got you down,And you want to end your life,Bills to pay, a dead-end job,And problems with the wife.But don't throw in the towel,'Cuz there's a place right down the blockWhere you can drink your misery awayAt Flaming Moe's (Let's all go to Flaming Moe's)When liquor in a mug (Let's all go to Flaming Moe's)Can warm you like a hug. (Flaming Moe's)And happiness is just a Flaming Moe awayHappiness is just a Flaming Moe away

Bart: My father invented that drink, and if you'll allow me to demonstrate...Edna: Bart, are those liquor bottles?Bart: Um...yesEdna: Take them to the teacher's lounge. You can have what's left after school.

Moe: Flaming Moe's.Bart: Uh, yes, I'm looking for a friend of mine. Last name Jass. First name Hugh.Moe: Uh, hold on, I'll check. (Calling) Hugh Jass! Somebody check the men's room for a Hugh Jass!Hugh: Uh, I'm Hugh Jass.Moe: Telephone. (Hands over the receiver)Hugh: Hello, this is Hugh Jass.Bart: (Surprised) Uh, hi.Hugh: Who's this?Bart: Bart Simpson.Hugh: Well, what can I do for you, Bart?Bart: Uh, look, I'll level with you, Mister. This is a crank call that sort of backfired, and I'd like to bail out right now.Hugh: All right. Better luck next time. (hangs up) What a nice young man.

Homer: What is it boy? Is anything the matter my son? Talk to me young man..... say your name? Why should I do that my lad?Bart: Because I'm jinxed dammit! (Homer punches him) Ow! What was that for?Homer: You spoke while you were jinxed so I got to punch you in the arm!

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Officer Eddie: (reading Steve Sax's license) Well well, Steve Sax, from New York City.Officer Lou: I heard some guy got killed in New York City and they never solved the case. But you wouldn't know anything about that now, would you, Steve?(Lou and Eddie laugh)Steve Sax: But there are hundreds of unsolved murders in New York City.Officer Lou: You don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you, Saxxy Boy?