Chasing Cockroaches: Novella Series Book 1: Hail to the Thief

Summary

A failed relationship means a new start for Vince Manning, but also a return to the streets of his youth. Now 31 years old, the streets haunt him with memories of a time when he turned his back on much of the crime and abuse that was going on around him in one of Bristol’s poorer estates. Now he is back, ignoring the same evils will not be so simple.

Having made a pledge to himself never to stand aside or cower in the face of bullies, Vince finds he is targeted as soon as he moves back in, after an encounter with a petty thief he knew as a youth. This Gavin Ashton smashes his car window and breaks into his flat one day just to prove a point, not being put off that Vince has little of value worth stealing.

A defining life choice is before Vince now and he makes a decision that will define the next period of his life. The decision is to find a means of bringing down the criminal, but he is to realise there are far bigger fish out there and will be treading a risky path if he wishes to keep up his pledge.

Hail to the Thief is part 1 of the 12-part novella series Chasing Cockroaches set to run throughout 2016.

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Chasing Cockroaches - R.M. Howard

Chasing Cockroaches

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‘Mother, I’ve turned the cooling unit back on!’

Ellen Ripley, Alien

Hail to the Thief

1

Bad jokes never go away.

When the time comes to shuffle off his own mortal coil, Vince Manning’s one piece of life advice will likely be to warn of always being on the alert for them.

Treating them lightly had been his undoing, but he has come to understand how failed attempts at humour are in fact a major power in the world, all the more potent for being overlooked.

Racist jokes; sexist jokes; ageist jokes; jokes that mock our every misfortune; and of course the gems that lie waiting in every Christmas cracker. Take them all seriously; especially the ones that aren’t funny.

For now the Christmas ones are far away, as we join him this January 2016, but many others are close by trying their worst to make us laugh. Vince knows them all too well, for their desperate attempts at drawing attention have succeeded in waylaying him from every single life ambition he has ever pursued – and, as convincing as their victory has been, they still insist on hanging around to goad him.

Had he known the overthrow of his own playschool kingdom was such a sought after prize, he would have approached each life decision in a wholly different way. It is a cheap trick to engage in battle strategy without a declaration of war.

A new strategy is needed, therefore – and failure has taught him to keep things simple. Hence:

# my fucking list

Internet connection

Gas provider

MOT

New bed

Bookshelves

Alcohol supply

Gavin Ashton

Gavin Ashton: now there is one foul-smelling example of a bad joke. Unlike Christmas cracker content, this one has waited fifteen years to return, but has still failed to evolve or become more sophisticated with the times. How could Vince do anything else in response other than act like a rabid dog being prodded with a stick? Hindsight has a way of teaching us who our mortal enemies should really be.

Embarking on a new life as he is (albeit one of no clear goal as yet), the idea of ignoring the same foes that steered his last attempt into treacherous waters is not one he is willing to humour. Tolerance has proven a fruitless quality.

In truth, he can live with losing his life’s ambitions. Discarding them has been something of a relief, in fact, and his soul remains surprisingly untraumatised by the event. No tears have been shed; no clumps of hair pulled out while wailing up at a Godless sky. Calm was unexpected when it arrived and put its feet up.

Ten years ago he would not have thought such indifference possible. The idea of failure to his young mind had seemed like an unthinkable nightmare but now, at 31, he knows enough of the world to understand that wallowing in misery is an empty gesture. Let others waste time frowning at society’s imperfections, Vince will move on as a realist at last – making the most of whatever scraps life can offer, having tested and trialled every form of folly a young man can be persuaded to put his hopes in. Meagre his surroundings might currently be, but he isn’t going to fall on his face trying to make something out of nothing, as he had as a 20-year-old who wanted to be a rock star. There are no new rock stars anyway; the world has moved on. Vince made an honest go at succeeding in his own fairy-tale and failed.

Big deal.

Hardly a new story in austerity Britain. We’ve moved from debt culture to austerity in a decade, neither of which are designed to help the poorest get richer. His pursuit of a successful career and healthy savings accounts was on to a losing battle from the start. Although now wise enough to see through their façade, what should have been the best years of his life are now over with, leaving him a creature of debt who has just moved into a poorer part of Bristol because of a split with his long-term girlfriend. About the only thing he was able to give a good go at was building a relationship that might turn into a home and family someday.

Nice try, Vince. Not good enough.

The girl got fed up and wanted more. He couldn’t blame her but didn’t have any answers. The more time went on the less understanding Laura became about the financial odds they faced. It was only a matter of time before she took a trip into someone else’s bed. Eventually, when she did, he no longer had the energy to be angry. Bizarrely he found himself pitying the timorous dude he found standing in his kitchen one day, braced for a smack in the face that never came.

Instead of fisticuffs he saw his chance to get out. Fatigue and numbness gripped his being but a request for back-up