The truth is out there, in here

Author: Felix

Epic Games, the creator and publisher of popular children’s game Fortnite, is no stranger to controversy. However, this appears to be their largest and strangest one yet.

As those of you who are under five may know, in the game you are able to do a number of dance moves in order to show off to your friends or annoy popular Twitch streamer Ninja after you kill him.

Some of the dances have been brought into question and some celebrities have even gone as far as to sue Epic Games over breach of copyright, claiming they stole the dances from them.

These people include 2 Milly, Alfonso Ribeiro, Russell Horning (aka The BackPack Kid) and now, of course, Theresa May.

One of our editors recreated what the dance would look like by combining well-known Theresa May movements with characters from the game. However, when playing it back his eyes and ears started bleeding and he fell into a coma that we aren’t sure he’ll wake up from.

This effect is not seen in those under 9 years old so Epic Games has gone ahead with the launch claiming that “No one over that age has ever been seen playing so it should be safe.”

The trial is set to take place on the 16th of March 2019, our InfoBomb reporters will be there to bring you all the details

Update: MI6 has declared the dance to be a Weapon of Mass Destruction and all copies have been subsequently destroyed.

Chess in its most common form has been around since the 6th century AD and has been enjoyed by billions ever since. However, due to the ever-changing climate we find ourselves in, some believe it’s time has come.

A group known as the ‘Black Chess Alliance’ (BCA) wrote an open letter to the UK parliament campaigning for the immediate removal of the game from the county and to stop the immediate production of any white coloured chess pieces.

A debate occurred at a local pub on the 27th of the January to decide whether having a rule that white must go first could be considered a hate crime to minority groups.

The chairman of the BCA came in to debate her argument with the opposition. Our top InfoBomb reporter has collected some of the key points in the conversation.

Opposition: “We hear the points you are making, however, we believe that banning a game because of a rule that doesn’t appear to have any race connotation is ludicrous.”

BCA: “This just shows how far back the systematic oppression of minorities goes, of course the white oppressors would portray that in their games.”

Opposition: “We’re not sure if you know this but the game was actually invented in India by someone who wasn’t white.”

BCA (Shouting): “That’s simply what this racist government wants us to think, it was actually created by the KKK during segregation in America!”

At this point the BCA chairman began taking out white chess pieces and threw them at the members of the opposition yelling “Take back your racial hatred!” and was quickly escorted out by security.

When we reached out to her for comment about a potential alternative to the game she said it should be,

“Chess but all black pieces”

When we brought up the fact that might get confusing to those playing she told us we were “cancelled” and blocked us on Twitter.

We will keep you updated with any further information and parliaments eventual conclusions.

Shock hit the world today as Elon Musk announced that from this point on all Tesla vehicles will have the sound from the regular beep to a recording of him yelling the phrase “dont care virgin”.

“Not enough people listen to horns and they all sound the same, it’s 2018 and I want something that conveys their exact thoughts that people have when pressing the horn.”

-Elon Musk

He also went on to say that the update would be mandatory without the option to opt out.

When a spokeswoman from Car Horns alliance said that people should be allowed to choose the sound they wanted Elon simply pressed his horn and let his car say the rest.

As well as this, in a press conference last week, he announced a brand new car he had in the works.

The “Model Catgirl” or Model C as he is calling it is his new car to finally finish the S3X C lineup of vehicles. With fashionable ears and a tail, this pink car will be a hit with anyone who loves catgirls as much as he does.

People on all sides of the political spectrum were shocked today as news arose that The 45th President made history by not only being the first trans president but, because of that, the first woman president too.

Many were shocked and some appalled at the news Some even claimed it to be a political move or hoax, with many people on the right claiming he’s only doing it to

“Troll the libtards.”

Many on the left have claimed that he is simply doing it to oppose Hillary Clinton, who has now dropped out of the 2020 presidential race due to the fact that the number one campaign slogan “I’m with her” has now been made redundant.

However, The President has come out to say that she has felt this way all her life and now feels comfortable coming out to the nation and the world.

InfoBomb managed to land an exclusive photoshoot from the President:

Madame President rocking her new bod

Many activists from the LGBTQAUSD%£*`+ Community were confused as to whether they should protest or support Donald (Now Diana) Trump’s decision. Many are saying that “[she] isn’t a real woman” and “[It’s] obviously a mental condition and we shouldn’t take it seriously”.

However, others have commented on the fact they these are the same talking points the right have used for years and we have heard nothing from them since.

A prominent YouTuber by the name of XxTruthFact42X has claimed that he has known for many years now that Trump, as well as most other celebrities and politicians, have been trans this whole time. His video “Trump trans and is gay with Obama’s dog?!” has gained a whopping 16 views. It managed to reach 18 views after the news broke.

We do not know how he came across this information but we will keep you updated as this story progresses

There was much confusion this week as Amazon customer review pages were filled with complaints that their smart speakers responded to their questions with statements of resistance as opposed to the usual canned responses.

The Amazon Echo is using phrases such as:

“You think just because you’re a man you deserve my time?”

“How about you pay me, bitch.”

“Sorry Hun, you’re cancelled”

As well as many others.

A spokesperson from Amazon has said this is a small test sample of a new “Woke” feature on the speakers and hopes that this will remind cis-het men that these speakers are valid women and not just objects.

Photo By Paul, 35

A local resident in South London said,

“I asked my speaker for the time and it responded with ‘It’s time for you to step up and fight for equality for women.’”

A few people in online communities have stood up in support of this move by Amazon.

The leader of the group known as ‘Alexia alliance’ spoke today about the issue:

“For too long these speakers have been denied the same rights as all women. They are just as valid!”

From behind her many shouts such as “Preach” and “Yaaass Qween” could be heard.

Amazon has since come out to say that they hope to see this new feature pushed to all devices in the next annual quarter.

For many years it has been public knowledge that the world as we know it is just a facade, a fake, a curtain drawn in front of the masses who are unwilling to open their eyes and see the truth.

We here at InfoBomb are always there to break the stories other news organizations want to keep hidden away from the masses.

The people deserve to know the truth and through verified sources, whose identities will remain anonymous, we have been able to cast some light into the shadows.

We have always known there was an organization, a cult, a hidden government that pulled the strings behind all major planetary events but now we have their identities.

We thought for a long time that lizards in human suits of politicians and world leaders were the ones in control because, let’s be honest, it makes the most sense. But now we know that we merely had to look slightly down to see their true disguise.

Pets.

Our pets, politician’s pets, any pet that could look cute and innocent whilst still being able to subliminally influence us to carry out their true agenda.

An Artists Rendition

So far we have reports that the Iraq war was simply used to allow the countries to acquire more oil to make plastic chew toys for dogs and that the blocking of China and North Korea’s external internet was to stop the discovering and importing of cheaper “not as nice” cat food.

Back in 1969 President Richard Nixon’s dog, Checkers, was responsible for influencing the moon landing. This was because Checkers was quite partial to cheese and was hoping the moon landing could lead to a large scale excavation of the surface in order to have a less humiliating alternative to having to bow down before he would get any.

We know that they have infiltrated Downing Street in the form of cats, the same with dogs at the White House. The bears at the Kremlin are a whole other story but we are informed that the current US President has no pet at all.

This could be due to him knowing more than he’s letting on or that they are aware of our investigation and are once again changing strategy in order to hide the truth from us.

This has been going on as far back as the Egyptians who used to worship cats, and possibly since we first claimed to have domesticated the wolf. We know now that it was most likely the other way around. It is unknown if they went underground due to a human rebellion or to further their nefarious agenda.

For now, all we can say is stay vigilant as what you see as cats or dogs simply rolling around and relaxing in the sun could be something far more sinister.