Handle every stressful situation like a puppy.
If you can't eat it or play with it, just piss on it and walk away.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

WELL I DID ASK

We had a huge fire in the vicinity today and I saw what it would be like in Iraq to step out of the front door to helicopters hovering, sirens screaming and billowing clouds of black acrid smoke.The difference is that I knew it wasn't a car bomb or missile and that probably there wouldn't be any mangled bodies, hopefully no bodies.

The smoke is still inside the house but we've been told it doesn't have any chemicals or particles in it that would harm. If it would harm the virus that's taken hold of my throat I'd welcome any particles.

Everyone I know has or has had this virus. It doesn't let go easily, the after effects are just as nasty as the main illness. Time for lemon and ginger tea with lots of honey except every lemon on the tree is green. Murphy's law in action. I inspect the tree every morning and any lemon with a hint of yellow is whipped off and in a cup. I've been trying not to take flu and cold tablets until the sinuses started to make me want to fall down a lot. Murphy's law no. 2. Stocks of cold and flu tablets are running low, not only because of the virus but because of idiots and their speed kitchens. The chemist told me today that soon you'll have to have a doctor's prescription to get a box of sudafed which may or may not be true but damn damn damn if it is.

When my sinuses want to clog up in the middle of the night, I want instant relief. When do I want it, NOW, not in the morning after I've seen a doctor and paid out a small fortune and probably fallen over as well.

The entire family has the virus, my cousin has the virus, my friends have the virus. Why is it here so early? It's not even Winter when you expect a virus. How many visitors did Melbourne have for the Commonwealth Games? Which one of them sneaked in with this lingering virus and generously left it as a gift? Can I sue the Commonwealth Games for putting my health in jeopody? Now that was a lemon that didn't ripen regardless of who said it was a success.

Thanks for that tip, rain but the lemons are free and lemongrass costs big money here.

Saltnvinegar chips, sippin' whiskey and electric fences, living up to your name as a mischievias brownie. It's not me spelling that it's this new keyboard. I can't be bothered looking it up, anyway you know what I mean.

How vulgarity, Your Excellency, slugging whiskey. Of course it's the norm for the uppercrust to set the bar in the vulgar stakes.