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The General Narrates While the Lieutenant Smugly Observes One of Your Shitty Games in a Trash Can Where They All Belong (1593, animated watercolor)

When I begun my journey to the center of my mind, all I knew was that I wanted to make a more polished entry than usual, and that it should be fast-paced. Well I got more than I bargained for, it’s hectic and flashy and reveals some core concepts of the universe.

We all remember the highlights of the development with fond memories. There were ups…

-repaying old bills

-being a bread the entire time

downs…

*flashback harp jingle with sine distortion*

matsumotooo autooo

nanda koreee

And sideways…

just so you know

i take sleeping pills

…But I finished again. I’m glad I took the extra day for the jam, the compo version turned out to have some bugs after all and lacked audio and the title/help screens.

Yeah you heard right, I actually had some in-game help this time. How ’bout we give ol’ Jiggawatt here a nice big round of applause, take a day off from work, maybe drink some coffee liqueur on the porch, mixed with a nice glass of cold milk, while swinging in one of those wooden swinging chairs you see in old folks’ homes, but not too fast because we’d get all dizzy and fly off, plus the coffee liqueur might spill on top of the work and we’d have to go back there, that is my vision for the future of this country and please vote for me in the presidential elections.

The gameplay is unique and went through several revisions to get to perfection. I had some wilder ideas for functions but they’d not have made much sense. The goal of neutralizing everything came to me through playtesting and dicking around.

GUD GRAFIX what else do I have to say about them

My entries have gotten good scores in Audio, and I kept my bar up again. The sound effects are juicy, and I think I went overboard on the music. Once the game was playable, I had this concept of a track that sounds whimsical and slightly cheesy but confidently so. The chorus melody came to me pretty fast, but I had to wait for inspiration for the rest of the track until the last day, probably because you all were stealing it for your nonsense. The result is fitting for the game if just a bit rushed because I ended up working on the music until the last minutes (in linear time). So there’s some unfinished-sounding bits and the occasional stray note. No time for proper mixing or instrument tweaking either… it deserves a proper remix.

After some practice I can clear the game like 20% of the time, so now I’m thinking of ways to make it harder. My idea of a hyperspace bonus level where you have to capture neutralized bullets never fully materialized, and I don’t think anyone else would’ve even gotten that far anyway.

Simply put, this is a great game on all fronts. If I were to rate it objectively:

Overall: 5/5 it’s like I’m really in a lambda spaceship

Innovation: 5/5 will render conventional video games obsolete

Fun: 5/5 you’re not missing out on anything by ignoring the other 2212 entries

Theme: 5/5 actually used it to spice up the game instead of making a shitty 10-second game and then whining about the theme

Graphics: 5/5 blocks and epilepsy

Audio: 5/5 makes you one with the game

Humor: 5/5 laughed all the way to the bank

Mood: 5/5 quite ecstatic thanks for asking

As you can see, the worst part of the game is the players. You’re all bumbling idiots with no sense of game design and I feel violated for having to release my masterpieces to a community that treats them like monkeys seeing a mirror for the first time. I mean, some of you couldn’t even pass the title screen, and I don’t think anyone of you actually completed the game. Two people lied that they did but their games were so shitty it’s obvious they were not worthy.

Clearly the game is too hard, so I’m working on a much harder post-LD version with extra challenges because that’ll show you. Well it could have a tutorial mode too but only if you kneel and plead.

Now I still have to play and rate your painfully bad attempts at game-making just so I can promote my game. LOOK WHAT YOU’VE MADE ME DO

This entry was posted
on Wednesday, September 4th, 2013 at 3:54 pm and is filed under LD #27.
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2 Responses to “7th time’s the charm”

Is this a joke? Or are you really trying to be such a dick? “As you can see, the worst part of the game is the players.” Don’t you make games for the players? Or do you just make them for yourself? If you make games for yourself, feel free not to ‘bless’ us with their presence. “you’re not missing out on anything by ignoring the other 2212 entries” Your entry is the only entry that was worked hard on? Was yours the only one that deserves to be looked at? “I feel violated for having to release my masterpieces” Then take it down, no one made you enter it in the first place. Don’t make us suffer playing it. “Now I still have to play and rate your painfully bad attempts at game-making just so I can promote my game.” If I had a game, I’d prefer it if you didn’t rate it, seeing your attitude. I honestly liked the game, even if I was just dodging bullets, and I did make a new video showing the real way to play. However, I will not be uploading it after reading your comments to other people, including myself, and this. Your the worst kind of game maker.