I talk honestly and openly about my experiences with mental illness, fibromyalgia, and chronic fatigue syndrome through the lens of feminism, fat acceptance and process theology. I also do recipe and book reviews. My mission is to spread the message that hope is always real for a better life, despite living in a world that is often very harsh.

Monday, September 26, 2011

If I were a spice, I'd be nutmeg. One, you can put some in pancake batter and the pancakes will taste marvelous. Two, I seem to be adding diagnosis to my list everyday. Lately, I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I am both overwhelmed by this diagnosis and relieved-overwhelmed, because it's a pretty major mental disorder with some really heavy stigma attached to it, but I am also relieved, because the diagnosis does seem to fit my characteristics. There is a sense of relief that comes when a diagnosis resonates within you, even if it is a diagnosis filled with stigma and misconceptions. Knowledge is power and the more I know about my diagnosis, the better I can help myself move into recovery.

And if I were a spice, I would be in a store like Spice It Up in Asheville!Actually, the shop is in the lovely, artsy town called Black Mountain, which is near Asheville. (130 Cherry StBlack Mountain, NC 28711) And my friend and I just had to step inside when we saw this open sign. Also outside, was a lovely herbal garden....The words on the window excited me too-I just love tea and before even entering the store, I was thrilled by the fact that the store supports fair trade and organic products.

Like my new diagnosis, the store was a bit overwhelming, but in a good way.

Isn't the interior beautiful? As you can see, on one wall, there are many different types of flavored salts and sugars. The tea has its own room! Here I am, sampling some sugar: I make a lot of cookies with the teenager I work with and I got very excited thinking about the baking possibilities...

Each jar of sugar had a little bowl beside with a little bit of the sugar and a spoon. How delightful! There were little bags of sugar nearby, although you could get more if you wanted. The sugar was expensive, so it would not replace regular, but still, have you ever seen cinnamon sugar look so pretty? Since I can make it myself, although not like this, of course, I did not buy any.

What was even prettier was the raspberry sugar. I absolutely love raspberries, so I did buy a bag. Won't it look beautiful on some Easter cookies? I'm thinking sugar cookies with a lemon glaze with the raspberry sugar sprinkled on top. Yum! My mouth is already watering...

On the other side of the store, there is a wall with Custom Blends and Rubs. I was very happy to learn that the rubs were very popular and that the store has a hard time keeping them in stock. I bought a few for Christmas presents-I won't say for who!

The smell of the tea room and the herbs outside...The taste of the sugar...The beauty of the decor...The excitement of foodie possibilities...The memory of these things are beginning to a passion for living in me, which has been long absent. I have been struggling with depression for several months now, but I can feel my soul beginning to waken up. I think it's time to get cooking...

About Me

I'm a fierce smashing-the-patriarchy Christian feminist spreading the word that hope is real for people with mental health and chronic pain challenges. I do NAMI In Our Own Voice presentations, endorse Dialectical Behavioral Therapy(DBT) and baking cupcakes. I am in recovery from borderline personality disorder, an eating disorder and bipolar II. I work on managing my anxiety. I consider myself living in recovery, because mental illness and chronic pain no longer control my life.
If you would like me to speak to your organization about living in recovery from mental illness, please email me.