Monday, November 07, 2016

I Gotta Have Faith

I gotta have faith. I lost faith in God a long time ago. But I think I've found one thing I believe in - the wisdom of the American electorate.

On the eve of the results show series finale, I'm rooting for lesser lead character Contestant B, the last one standing - damaged goods herself, a drama unto her own right - to beat the caddish, lewd, testosterone-fueled reality star, Contestant A. And like you, I've become emotionally attached to my choice. I hope my side wins.

My hope spills over into belief. I gotta have faith that a majority of Americans - Democrats, Republicans, Independents, Third-party voters - agree on one thing: the central character of Survivor: Election 2016 should not be the next President of the United States.

I gotta have faith that enough Republicans of the "old school" note the deafening loneliness of a contestant without a single ex-President at his back.

I gotta have faith in the Independents and the Undecideds. I know that even now, Election Eve, there are still 5% undecided, and another 7% will go to third parties. In some states it won't matter, but in some states it will make all the difference.

I gotta have faith that the message of hate, ignorance, and despair emanating from Contestant A will repulse a majority of my fellow audience members, who will vote strategically. My plea to the 12% : if it is within the margin of error in your state, please consider voting for my Contestant B.

The reason is simple: this not particularly thoughtful man-child; this late-night hustler of universities, of steaks, of vodka; this hot mess of a celebrity "businessman" - is not fit to lead the country in any direction other than to its own quick demise.

I gotta have faith that the worst outbreak of native anti-Semitism in my lifetime will be rejected. I gotta have faith that the worst outbreak of Islamophobia in 14 years will be rejected. I gotta have faith that the misogyny, the nativism, and the brutality of Contestant A repulses a majority of fellow audience members.

I gotta have faith that a majority of Americans will vote to preserve a constitutional democracy. We've already gone 9 months without a fully staffed Supreme Court. We're engaged in three major military confrontations in the Middle East, but not a word is spoken of it. We've been distracted by the show.

The alternative is not unthinkable. Imagine Silvio Berlusconi with nuclear codes. Would it be the beginning of The Plot Against America? Aren't we already there?

I have to have faith that sometime - Wednesday at the latest - America will, in a moment of sheer irony, deliver a simple message to the central character of the greatest reality show of all time: "Donald, you're fired!"