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Living the Life of a Lottery Winner — My Story Coming Soon

What would you do if you had the knowledge that could help you win the lottery not once, not twice but many, many times? I know this sounds like an infomercial sales pitch, but I have to tell you, I can truly point you in the right direction here.

Not too long ago, I wrote about how I wanted to win the lottery, and I described in detail my many scientific methods of picking the lucky winning numbers which included everything from circling my family’s birthdates to putting the lottery ticket in front of the dogs and letting them point to the numbers with their paws to playing the digits of my grocery food bill. https://humoroutcasts.com/2011/my-upcoming-mega-million-lottery-win/

After I wrote this piece, a nice gentleman contacted me. His name is Richard Lustig and you might have seen him on CNN, Fox news, Rachael Ray, etc. Richard is the expert of all lottery experts and has in fact, won seven major jackpots not to mention lesser prize winnings. I decided I wanted to chat with Mr. Lustig. Well, to be honest, I decided I wanted to marry Mr. Lustig, but since both of us seem to be married to other people and his wife might not be willing to part company with him just yet, I went for the lottery advice instead. Did you notice that I didn’t say my husband would have a problem? I think if I promised him a good chunk of change from the big win, he might adjust to life without me which would probably turn out to be a little calmer and lot less drama filled.

Okay, back to the lottery. Are you dying to know the system? Well, I’m not going to tell you. Don’t get an attitude! Did you think you were going to learn everything without buying his book? Yes, he has a book and it sells really well, and that is why he is on every talk show from Good Morning America to Good Morning East Snowshoe. People want a good, verifiable method of making money which requires the least amount of effort possible. Well, that is my goal at least. Anyway, here is the link for the book: http://www.winninglotterymethod.com/

I will admit that Richard was nice enough to give me one solid tip which I used the very next day after our interview. I bought ten Pennsylvania scratch off tickets and two of them won. I was a little disappointed that one of my winning tickets was a free ticket for another game, but it still goes in the “W” column, and I recouped my investment.

Mr. Lustig lives in Florida and plays the games there. He collects so often from the lottery office that the people in the state lottery office are on a first name basis with him. I think that is pretty cool. Okay, since I can’t tell you what is included in Richard’s system, I will tell you what is NOT included, so pay attention and if you are like me, get ready to take action and win the lottery.

What readers won’t find in Richard’s Lustig’s System of picking winning numbers?

psychic ability – Richard does not have a sixth sense when it comes to lottery numbers. I have a very good psychic friend, Deb, who tells me all the time that no psychic gets the winning numbers in his or her head. You can’t see into a computer’s mind. Richard also agrees: if someone wants you to pay him or her to pick your numbers, you will not get rich. The fake psychic will– but not you.

Spells – I see these advertised all the time for lottery hopefuls. You are probably thinking that I am going to really let the spell casters have it here, but I’m not. Why? Just in case, they truly can cast spells or something like that, I don’t want to be on their bad side. I will be nice and just say that in doing research, spells are expensive, so maybe it might behoove you to select a less ethereal system of making money. Again, to any spell casters out there, I am not judging or denying your powers, so please don’t hex me unless it’s in a good way.

A method to out- cheat the Lottery because the state lottery offices cheat— The state lotteries don’t cheat. This is paranoia, anti-government, conspiracy theory propaganda that won’t help you pick winning numbers. If you don’t trust the people in the lottery office who are pretty much just regular, middle-class state workers, don’t buy the lottery tickets. Look for something more suitable to your level of paranoia like betting on whether the government covered up Roswell or not.

The Gamblers Anonymous Method to Winning the Lottery– This is pretty much self-explanatory. There is no Gamblers Anonymous method of jackpot wins, but maybe there should be. I would bet this is the one office that doesn’t pool their money for the big Mega Millions win. They are probably the only people on this earth who don’t appreciate Richard’s talents.

Okay, this is what Richard Lustig will tell you if you go to his site and buy his book: He will give you his own method for winning at scratch tickets, second-chance drawings, Lottery Numbers games and Lottery Power Plays. There are testimonials all over his site too. I don’t know about you, but to me $40 is a pretty tame investment for a hefty return that could run into the thousands or millions.

So, the only question I have left is “What credit card should I use?” If you want to be skeptical and see how I do with the book, feel free. I will definitely let you know about my success. I’ll email you from the Malibu beach house that I will buy with the winnings. Can anyone say, “Surf’s Up”?

Donna Cavanagh is founder of HumorOutcasts.com (HO) and the partner publishing company, HumorOutcasts Press which now includes the labels Shorehouse Books and Corner Office Books (HOPress-Shorehousebooks.com). As "den mother" to the more than 100 aspiring and accomplished writers, producers, comics and authors, Cavanagh's goal is to allow creativity to flow. She is a former journalist who made an unscheduled stop into humor more than 20 years ago. Her syndicated columns helped her gain a national audience when her work landed in the pages of First Magazine and USA Today. She teaches the how-to lessons of humor and publishing at conferences and workshops throughout the country including The Philadelphia Writers' Conference and Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop. The author of four humor books, Cavanagh hopes her latest book, How to Write and Share Humor: Techniques to Tickle Funny Bones and Win Fans, will encourage writers not only to embrace their humor talents but show them off as well.

8 Responses to Living the Life of a Lottery Winner — My Story Coming Soon

OK, here’s my take. A know some people who gamble at the casino a lot. They will often talk about how much money they “won” here or there. What’s not discussed is how much they spent all of the other times.

Now. Assume that there are tons of people doing this same thing for the lottery. Most of them are going to lose most of their money. A lot are going to lose all of their money. A rare few will have won enough outside the normal distribution to appear to be “good” at the lottery. Only that guy will write a book and make money, because… well, who would buy a gambling book from the losers? Get it?

I didn’t say he was a crook. He may erroneously think he’s doing something other than passively benefiting from randomly falling outside the norm.

If I survive a shark attack for some inexplicable reason (I taste bad, maybe), I could legitimately write a book about how to survive shark attacks without believing that I am actually offering the public no benefit.

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