Tired of the same old bedroom routine? Worried about keeping your guy’s attention, especially now that football is back?!

Well, leave it to Victoria’s Secret to offer a few suggestions that are guaranteed to make playtime a bit more …. memorable.

The always-inventive lingerie powerhouse has just released a line of erotic lingerie costumes called Sexy Little Fantasies. Ironically, you’ll find the collection in the Victoria’s Secret online store under “Sleep and Lounge” — but you’ll be doing little of either in these get-ups.

The series includes 12 outfits perfect for role-playing fun or perhaps even an adult Halloween party a deux? The pieces have the same quality and design standards we’ve come to expect from Victoria’s Secret, but there’s nothing original about the costume choices themselves.

Choose from such standard male-fantasy archetypes as the Sexy Little French Maid, Sexy Little Sailor, SL Nurse, SL Ballerina, etc. Viewed as a whole, the collection looks like a deck of playing cards for 12-year-old boys.

The full series, modeled by a postively bursting-at-the-bustline Candice Swanepoel, is shown below.

A couple of oddities in the Sexy Little Fantasies line raise some questions, though. First, the Sexy Little Angel — wings, halo and all — seems to be a spin on the iconic Victoria’s Secret Angels modelling crew. Think about this: do you want your BF fantasizing about Adriana Lima et. al when he’s with you???

And second, the Sexy Little Bride outfit has me puzzled. This is not erotic bridal wear, but a costume for women pretending to be a bride in order to arouse their playmate. Again, just tell the BF to buy the cow instead.

The costumes cost as little as $68 for the SL Cowgirl and up to $298 for the SL Angel. I guess heaven ain’t cheap, even in the bedroom.

Altogether, the attention-grabbing Fantasies collection is amusing — and a little unnerving. Victoria’s Secret, which makes its bread and butter selling undies to your kid sister, is venturing ever-so-slightly across the line into the world of trashy erotic stripper costumes, the sort of thing you find in adult toy stores where you can find racy pirate costumes or sexy Little Mermaid outfits. One has to wonder where they’ll go next.

Finally a word about sizing. They don’t call these sexy “little” fantasies for nothing. Almost every costume in the collection is available in only a very limited number of sizes — no A cups, nothing above a 36, etc etc. There’s no excuse for this from a mass-market retailer these days, so write your congressman — or your favorite VS Angel — to complain.