~my journal~

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I’m a work in progress…

That’s what I’ve decided – I’m a work in progress. This past year or two has brought many changes in my life. This year I will turn 50! The big 5-0! There are things that I want out of life that I don’t think that I deserve, therefore I don’t strive hard enough for them. I want to change that. There are other things that I have already started working on and it makes me happy! My goal…to be the best me! Quite simple. It seems, doesn’t it? Easier said then done.

I must start by saying that I love my children. Even if they are adults, they will always be my children. I hope that I was a good mom to them and that they’ve had happy childhoods. If they need me, I’m here! But it is time for them to live their adult life. I have had a great adult life. I want them to experience the same. They don’t always need (or want :)) me for that!

There are several things that I must do:

Take better care of me. I can’t do the things that I need or want to do if I am not well!

Make Jim my priority. The kids are adults. They had our undivided attention well into adulthood. They can take care of themselves now. Even if they choose to live here, they are still adults and will be treated as such. Jim has never had my undivided attention. It’s his turn now!

Read. I love to read. I always have. It was one of the many things that took a backseat when my kids were growing up. No more.

Write. I love to write. I always have. It was one of the many things that took a backseat when my kids were growing up. No more. Funny, huh? Okay, I never thought I had writing talent and it was actually something I love, but never pursued because I didn’t think I was any good. I started writing again and I love it and I want to keep doing it.

Horses. I’ve always loved horses. Was able to experience the joy of having horses for too short a time in my life. I may never have a horse again, but I can still love them. I think when I gave them up, I felt that I really needed to give up my love of them. Not so!

Stop procrastinating. It’s a big problem…nuff said…

Live the life that I know God wants me to live. Listen to Him more.

I know what I need to do. I just need to do it!

I know. Some of my goals seem goofy, especially the horse one. But I get it. It means something to me.

Here’s to the year 2010. I hope that on Dec. 31 of this year, I can say that I have become a better me!