August 8, 2010 - August 14, 2010 Archives

Residents of Middle Road, Worcester (England) were alarmed after viewing what appeared to be a dead girl in their neighborhood on Google Street View. Only thing is, she was faking. Hoho, you little wolf-crier! You better hope you're never really lying dead on the sidewalk. ... / Continue →

August 13th, best known for being the day after my birthday, is also International Left Handers' Day. And, since I'm a leftie myself, I celebrate the shit out of it. Especially this special Friday the 13th edition! Some fun facts about me and the rest of the special-needs po... / Continue →

So iPhones aren't cool, got it. But how do you feel about a guy that keeps a Blackberry between his buttcheeks so the government can't monitor his calls? Because I know a guy. Personally. Me, I'm talking about me. Also, if I told you I'm a L337 Starcrafter can I get the bi... / Continue →

Note: Trailer is after the jump so it doesn't float away like a helium-filled prophylactic.
Bioshock, a game best known for my brother and I having to play in the middle of the day with all the lights on, is coming back for a third installment, and not to Rapture either. No... / Continue →

Note: This is hardly any of the graphic, possibly NSFW (cartoony dildos and naked lady) full version HERE.
Did you know Alaska buys more sex toys per capita than any other state? Or that Mississippi buys more anal sex toys per capita? I did. But I did not know the world's l... / Continue →

And you thought your mailbox was cool. Painted ducks aren't cool, X-wing fighters are cool. I love getting packages!
This little picture doesn't do the five-foot wing span of Craig Smith's X-Wing mailbox justice.
I made this so long ago, it is actually in need of weatherin... / Continue →

These are all the original Street Fighter II characters as minimalized by artist Ashley Browning (Flickr user infinitecontinues). As you can see, they look like colored DNA strands. No? Alien shit stains? Whatever the case, there's a set of Mortal Kombat characters after t... / Continue →

Donald Duck, best known for being an anthropomorphic duck that's secretly in love with a certain mouse *ahem, Mickey* has been accused of groping some woman's boob during her trip to Epcot. I'm gonna go out on a limb and and say she's lying for money.
While visiting Epcot Cen... / Continue →

Because it is my birthday and I'm itching to get my ass to the tiki bar so I can get this party started promptly at 4 when they open, this is an animated gif of a lady drinking magic tea and turning into Laser Blaster Face, hands down the sexiest of all superheroines. God, jus... / Continue →

What in the...? How could you have possibly screwed this up? WHY IS THE ENTERPRISE ON THE COVER? AND WHERE THE HELL ARE THOSE REVIEWS FROM? Holy shit, seasons 1-4 all in one box? Sold!
UPDATE: VHS quality video of a farmer killing chickens for six hours. 3/5 stars.
Bl... / Continue →

Because even God shines his starlight favorably on me for my birthday, the Perseid meteor shower will reach its peak tonight, possibly signaling the apocalypse. Did I mention Mars, Venus, Saturn and the crescent moon will all be clustered together as well? We're as good as de... / Continue →

This is the Church of Nintendo. Except not really because it's the Church of St. George in Lalibela, Ethiopia. The D-pad portion of the church and select button were actually carved out of solid rock. Sadly, the start and A and B buttons (trees) were all Photoshopped in. St... / Continue →

This is a shot from Star Wars Celebration V of the special edition R2-D2 Droid 2 that's dropping in September. Ha, and you wonder why Droid users are all sexless virgins! Kidding, I'd bang anybody with an R2 phone. Psychalooloo! But seriously, I would (meet me in the bathro... / Continue →

Seen here representing Ratlff Sheet Metal soccer (I played dandelion picker), your GW is 29 today. God I wish I still had those socks. And shorts. Goodwill donations aside, I've got one year left till 30. Then it's a quick ride to geriatric-town and dribbling a pee-trail be... / Continue →

This is the Namba (NOT NAMBLA) Parks Building in Osaka, Japan. As you can see unless hummingbirds pecked both your retinas out, it looks like a giant (first generation) Playstation 3. Coincidence? Or conspiracy? I don't care, just as long as it can play Red Dead Redemption ... / Continue →

We all knew Princess Peach was hot, but did anybody know she was this smokin'? God, just look at those perfectly square lips. If I had Mario's little 8-bit penis I would be all over that. But, thankfully for my love-doll, I do not. Do I, Patches? Patches -- WHAT HAPPENED TO... / Continue →

This is a little gallery of song lyrics as imagined as Google Map driving directions. They're pretty clever, but nothing compared to the genius that's stewing up in your brain. No? Nothing going on up there? I know, your parents already told me. Also that you still try to ... / Continue →

Some failure at life just got arrested for marinating his cat in the trunk of his car after getting pulled over for running a stop sign. "It was just taking an aromatic bath, I swear!" Riiiiight, and I'm just about to fix your hair with my baton.
Police in Buffalo arrested 5... / Continue →

Japan, best known for freaky sexual fetishes and being hellbent on destroying the planet with robots, is now rolling out these fancy touchscreen vending machines. Hey -- I don't see any panties on that screen!
A new touchscreen machine called the aCure has just been installed... / Continue →

According to a recent study of smart phone users, people with iPhones have the most sexual partners (and VDs), followed by those with Blackberries and Androids. Non-smart phone users are all virgins.
OkCupid looked at the data hidden in the images that users uploaded as profi... / Continue →

Apparently researchers have finally discovered just how many moves it takes to solve any Rubik's Cube combination. And that number is 20. We're all sleeping well tonight!
The international team used a bank of computers at Google to help crank through the solutions.
The fig... / Continue →

The race to the world's first 3-D pr0n is on, and China wants a shot at the gold! Me? I'm cool with a purple 'participant' ribbon. For fluffing.
A group of Hong Kong filmmakers have started shooting what they claim will be the world's first 3D pornographic film, a report sa... / Continue →

Has anybody ever tried this? I'd give it a go in my apartment's elevator but it smells like an old person died in there (I suspect it was the woman that lives above me). You've got to admit, this is pretty groundbreaking if it's true. God, with all you a-holes constantly flo... / Continue →

WANT. The Hops Holster holds twelve 12oz cans of liquid ammunition in their own individual koozies so you're ready to "shoot down" thirst at a moment's notice. Also works great for shotgunning(!) multiple beers in a row. Just saw "DRAW!" See what I did there?
Next time you... / Continue →

This is a McDonald's security-cam footage of a woman who became outraged when a drive-thru attendant wouldn't sell her any McNuggets AT 6:30AM. Hey -- you've gotta wait till 10:30 just like the rest of us, nugget-whore!
A Toledo woman, Melodi Dushane, loves McNuggets. Accordi... / Continue →

What? Bells are f***ing complicated. Plus dangerous!
False Advertising of the Day [thedailywh.at]
Thanks to BigBong420, who once repaired himself with electrical tape and aquarium silicon. Are you getting this, all the kings men?!... / Continue →

First the plane-jumping flight attendant, and now a girl who quit her job via a mass-email sent to the entire office containing 33 pictures of her with messages written on a whiteboard. I don't want to ruin it for you, but you should definitely hit the jump to see the part abo... / Continue →

Sure you have to wear this ridiculous hat, but that's a small price to pay to taste any flavor cookie you want. God I hope it comes preloaded with all the Girl Scout flavors! Plus pot brownies! Kidding, they always end up tasting like shit.
Scientist Tajuki Narumi and a tea... / Continue →

This is the recipe used for all the fake blood in The Evil Dead, per Bruce Campbell's autobiography. Now I've always made my fake blood with Karo syrup and red food coloring, but I've never used the creamer or blue before. I have been known to mix in a couple cups of bourbon ... / Continue →

Steven Slater, seen here stroking a flying phallus, is a 20-year veteran of flight attendant-ry who just couldn't take it anymore. So what did he do? What any self-respecting attendant of the skies would: jumped out of a moving plane.
One passenger stood up to fetch belongin... / Continue →

Fly leg eyelashes. Gross. I'd rather have a horse's penis for a nose.
Granted, flylashes was just a sculptural video, but putting fly legs on your eyes is still gross. As Harrison puts it, "Flylashes was intended as a play on the format of the Chimera, highlighting the use o... / Continue →

IMAGE REMOVED
Note: This is only a small portion of the graphic, click HERE to see the whole thing in all its toothy glory.
Well, with Discovery Channel's Shark Week over it's another 51 weeks of depression until I'm back to fantasizing about dying in the jaws of a giant shark ... / Continue →

In 'those are definitely not the people I want to see naked riding a roller coaster' news, there was a new nude coastering record set over the weekend in Essex, England, during a fundraiser for breast cancer. Wow, just imagine all those penises and boobies (link NSFW) floppin'... / Continue →

This is Blackstar Warrior, a fake movie trailer in the style of Shaft. It stars Lando Calrissian whipping the Galactic Empire's ass while being all smooth-talkin' and suave. God, I wish I could be more like that. And not just so I could feel up on some fine-ass booty, but I ... / Continue →

This is Maslow's Heirarchy of Robot Needs as imagined by artist/Flickr user lunchbreath. Jesus that smells onion-y aside, he was right on the money with the hierarchy. It's true: robots strive to destroy humans, it's in their DNA. Or, you know, whatever the hell robots have.... / Continue →

Note: I know, I thought it was a treasure map too. Click HERE to see the thing in all it's "WAIT, WHERE'S THE X?" glory.
This is the 2010 Social Networking Map. From a quick glance I imagine most of you reside in the lower left portion, somewhere in The Sea of Desperation be... / Continue →

Well folks, it's finally happened: mechanical pencils and markers are breeding. What's next, paperclip/staple orgies? NOT IN MY DESK DRAWER! Haha, like I have a desk!
Sharpie has combined the permanence of a pen with the erasability of a pencil with their new Liquid Pencil.... / Continue →

Today is 08.09.10, making it Sequential Day 2010. Honestly, I didn't even know Sequential Day existed until now which is surprising because I'm always looking for an excuse to party my panties off. Kidding, my panties are always off. Anyway, if you choose to subscribe to th... / Continue →