(Closed) Love/Hate Relationship with Valentine’s Day!

I am so lucky to be able to spend Valentine’s Day with my wonderful fiance. He got me a card and got an old piece of jewelery fixed and cleaned for me. He also cleaned the house while I was at work and wrote me a very sweet card. I appreciate all of that so much, but I don’t know why it makes me feel so bad that he never gets me flowers or chocolate or anything “cutesy” for Valentine’s Day. I used to HATE Valentine’s Day when I was single and I still recognize now that it is mostly a made-up, commercial holiday. But none of my previous relationships ever lined up with Valentine’s Day and so I never got anything cute or lovey-dovey. I guess I just want the same experience as all those other girls I see getting the teddy bear and balloons and all the other ridiculous things that are probably a waste of money, but give you that warm fuzzy feeling.

We went out to dinner and then I stopped at the store to buy myself chocolate. Now I’m sitting on the couch by myself eating it while Fiance is working on his computer. Although I know I am so lucky to be with the man I love, I am still cranky! I need to just appreciate the nice things about this day.

I’m starting to hate V-Day. Last year my Fiance (then boyfriend) and I were long distance due to me studying for my bar exam, and though he sent me the cutest gift, I was ridiculously lonely that day. I figured next year will definitely be better as we should be living together. Fast forward to this year, we are engaged but states apart due to work this time. The debacle this year is that he sent me flowers which didn’t come until 7 p.m. After waiting the whole day for them to come, when I open the door, the delivery guy tells me, “You can let your husband out of the dog house now.” I was so irritated by all of it I refused service and informed them we are canceling our order. Now I’m feeling guilty bc I yelled at my Fiance for spending money we shouldn’t be spending with the wedding coming up and being rude to a perfect stranger. *Sigh* I truly am starting to hate this day.

@vlbee: Girl I so know how you feel! I’m in the same boat. I’m not a huge fan of valentines day because it is so commercialized and cheesy. Nonetheles I have a very sweet husband that is making dinner tonight and I know he got me a gift. We usually go on a wine tasting trip for Vday but not this year.

But today I saw the parade of flower arrangements being delivered to our office and all the other cutesy stuff and it made me kind of sad not to get that. I know it’s totally ridiculous to feel that way because I know he is doing something and he is being thoughful but I kind of wanted that cheesy, cutesy, cliche bouquet you know? I even sent him chocolate covered strawberries the yesterday so he should have gottent he hint to reciprocate :-/

I take it back. Rereading my post makes me feel like an ungrateful idiot. I love my husband, even if he doesn’t look at holidays in the same way others might. He still is the most wonderfully supportive man to have ever come into my life, and 364 other days of the year tell me so.

@eloping: See the thing that bothers me about not seeing the value in flowers (for my FI) is that he knows he can go right down the street to the supermarket and get my favorite flowers for about $12. I asked him out right why he didn’t get me flowers when I asked for them and he said, “I didn’t want to spend the extra money” and “it’s a made-up holiday.” Then he decided to spend $40 to go to a basketbal game in a few weeks instead. ……

Focus on your first sentence…I am so lucky to be able to spend Valentine’s Day with my wonderful fiance.

I could care less if I got a card, candy, or anything else on V-Day if it meant I could be with my man today. Heck, I haven’t even gotten to talk to him yet today. You ARE lucky, and I hope you cherish every minute you have with him in the same place. That’s what it’s all about in the end, right?

@vlbee: totally understand, i cant figure out what goes on my husbands head some days

oh and the ONE time he did get me flowers, it was a potted plant and they were chrysanthemums which is the one flower in the world i hate/will never send because they are italian funeral flowers and he knows this. idiot i tell you – he said that all he saw was yellow and he knows thats my fav color

We are long distance and celebrated Valentines a week ago, so I shouldn’t complain but I still felt pretty miserable, but other things were going on that were making me upset and I let myself wallow for a bit. I’m feeling much better now and feel stupid for being upset earlier but *shrug* it happens.

Have you ever said this to him? I feel like most women are socialized to never ask for what they need/want, lest they seem “demanding.” But men aren’t mind readers and he probably has no idea. This year, I’d just say thank you and be appreciate he was SO wonderful to you (because it sounds great). But if the cutesy stuff is important to you, say it next year. A week or so before Valentine’s Day: “Hey, honey… I just really love that cutesy Valentine’s stuff! You know…chocolate, teddy bears… it would mean so much to me if I got something like that from you this year.”

Not so hard 🙂 I love getting cards for holidays and I used to remind my SO a couple of days before like “Hey hon, you know I save every card you get me so it’s really important to me for my birthday, even more than a gift.” Now that he knows I never have to say anything.