Saturday, April 30, 2005

I'm celebrating Mother's Day a week early this year. So tomorrow morning I get to sleep in (again) D is reading this as I write and is currently violently disagreeing that I get to sleep in on MOTHER'S DAY. He's also making rude suggestions about what he should get on Father's Day. He gets to sleep in on Father's Day, obviously.

D has just said that Charlie is going to make my breakfast tomorrow morning as well. Mmmm, could be interesting. Fortunately chances are he'll eat most of it himself.

So for Mother's Day I bought myself a new pair of shoes. Mother's Day rocks.

I'm celebrating a week early this year because loveable D is not going to be here next weekend. That's right, he's spending Mother's Day with Matt and harry. So, since he has deserted me on one of the most important days of the year, I am passing my Mother's Day rights onto harry. So harry, Dave will be bringing you a cup of tea in bed on Sunday morning next week. You have a whole week to think up other things he could do, but he only has half a day because he's having lunch with his Mum. If he fails to do anything reasonable asked of him you are to cry, tell him he doesn't love you, remind him that you went through childbirth for him (since you are proxy me), and anything else that you deem effective.

All suggestions for things Dave could do on Mother's Day gladly accepted.

I watched the final of the Amazing Race last night. More in hope that the ditzy pair wouldn't win a million dollars than because I wanted anyone in particular to win. Either of the couples who came in first and second would have been fine by me.

What I did notice however, was how everyone from the beginning of the series had to turn up at the end to witness someone else winning. How much would that suck. Even worse, second and third place getters have to congratulate the people who have just pipped you for 1 million big ones, while you get squat. Diddly squat. You have to stand up there and say crap like - you guys were so amazing! We didn't think we could beat you (turns out we couldn't huh) and stuff like that. How much would you want to say - you undeserving maggots! You just got lucky in Cambodia when you got a taxi driver who knew where he was going, and you only got to his cab because you pushed us out of the way. I'm going to make your life a misery until you give up the million dollars to make me go away. Or something like that. Sour grapes anyone?

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Destructomeg has kindly invited me to crap on to my heart's content on her blog. So I will.

Saw Mr Creepy again today. If I knew how to do links I'd do one to crazybrave so you can see what I wrote about Mr Creepy yesterday. He pretended not to be the freaking creeping accept Jesus or die weirdo that he is, but I've got him sussed.

Other things I wish I'd said to Mr Creepy (when he invited me to come to god)Only if you come to Satan with me. He's bigger and scarier and it will be better if there are two of us.

Sorry, despite being a geography teacher (true) I'm crap at geography (also true), how far is that, I only have an hour for lunch.

I don't go places with weird bearded men who acost me in the middle of Todd Mall.