April 27, 2010

This has been such an emotionally draining couple of weeks, and I have felt like I was on the verge of losing all patience with my boys for the past couple of days as a result of feeling so 'tapped out'. So, today after I dropped them off at school I decided to just make some time for myself. Usually when the boys are in school I clean or run errands or work, but today I decided to not feel guilty about just doing... nothing.

On the agenda:

Wander around in Barnes & Noble and drink yummy coffee. Read 'Practicing the Presence of God' by Brother Lawrence on my Nook for free on B&N's wifi. (Have I told you how much I LOVE my nook?!)

Come home and take a bubble bath. In the middle of the day. Because... why not?

Curl up on my bed and finish watching 'Walk the Line'.

Eat salt & vinegar chips like there's no tomorrow.

Dress cute.

Pick up the boys.

Go to the park or the zoo for a bit.

Have an afternoon dance party.

Eat dinner, put the boys to bed, and then watch LOST.

I think I'm feeling much better already... it is good to rest every now & again. :)

Her name will be a constant reminder that He can make ALL things new. Even things that are so heavy with old that you're sure they can never budge an inch... You're sure you'll be pinned under their weight until the day you die.

But He can take a MOUNTAIN of old habits and pride and wrong thinking and cast it into the sea in an instant.

Jesus gave us all the authority in His name. For such a time as this. The evil things in the spiritual world are under our feet. Not on our shoulders. UNDER OUR FEET! We can command that pile of old, heavy filth to leave its perch, and it will flee. It HAS to because it is weaker than you. Do you believe that?

My twelve years of habits and behaviors towards Chris that seemed so insurmountable to change even last week are no longer daunting. I have believed lies about myself and my husband and my marriage and have based our lives upon those lies. But now I know they aren't true! And I can recognize those lies when they creep back into my ears and tell them to SHUT THE FRIDGE UP.

And they do. They are silenced.

I am not doomed to a life of isolation. I am capable of desire. And intimacy. God made me for those things and they are not gross or wrong or violating. They are good and beautiful and pure. So now I get to build a life on that truth because the lies are... total crap. With no foundation. Overthrown in an instant of faith!

It feels now like the freshness of moving into a new home. You get to rearrange and redecorate and de-clutter. It's hard work packing and moving all your boxes and then sorting through it all and reorganizing it back on the shelves, but there is freedom in it. A new beginning.

This life is forever teaching me that I can never exhaust his mercy. There is no limit on my account.

Every time I open my eyes, every time I take a breath, the tank is filled back up to overflow.

April 21, 2010

So... this is the smile that Myer has decided to adopt every single time I point my camera at him. I think it is probably one of the greatest achievements of all of mankind. It is way cooler than the Pyramids, and much more awesome than Stonehenge. No doubt.

Speaking of smiles, my mommy sent me these little garden owls because she knows how to make me smile like a goofball too. (Picture me making the exact same face that Myer is making. That's what I looked like when I opened the box earlier today.) I adore them so much... now I suddenly want to spruce up the flower bed in the front of my house just so they can have a pretty, lovely place to perch this Spring.

April 18, 2010

Ezra is so compliant and is always expressing his love through comparison. For example, today he told me he loves me bigger than any planet in the whole wide world. haha.

Myer is so sweet and quiet and coy... he makes me smile so much that my face hurts at the end of the day. Also, I can't stop kissing those apple cheeks. Monch monch.

And, my husband. He is so patient and gentle and compassionate... I long for the day when I can be more gentle and vulnerable towards him too. I am working hard to get there, because he is so very, very worth it. It is not easy. It's harder than I ever thought it would be, but the cost seems trifling when I consider what our love will be once I drop this baggage I've carried with me all these years and wrap my unencumbered arms around him completely.

April 15, 2010

I recently noticed (by the alarming number of consecutive days that I had worn a hat) that I have become completely exasperated by my hair. Another indication of this exasperation was the alarming number of consecutive days that I considered (No, REALLY considered) just shaving it off and being done with it.

Today I colored it- nothing drastic, just more of a blending of the roots with the ends- and it looks a whole heck of a lot better. (Too bad I didn't do it BEFORE family portrait day last week. GAR!&@^%!) Still, I am feeling the itch to change it up.

So, I'm growing it again. I have LOVED having it short this past year. And I will probably hack it off again in the future. But for now, it's grow time.

I'm just letting you all know... throwing it out there... so that you can maybe help me reach my goal like you did last time. Growing out short hair isn't easy.

April 14, 2010

I am at the end of myself, which I know in my head is probably a good thing, but in my heart it feels like I'm falling into a void.

The one thing I am trying to remember: There's a heart in my chest that is precious and worth fighting for.

And even when it feels like no one else is fighting for it, not even my own self, God still is. He never tires or grows weary of me and my brokenness. He never runs out of patience with me. Even when healing seems to be slow in coming. When I can't see Him or feel Him, when I feel so deeply alone, He's there... gently filling my lungs up with my very next breath.

April 4, 2010

Since I wanted the 'mcklinky' sections of Spring Fashion Week to be open for a full 24 hours each day, I was a day behind in my outfits all week. This means that I actually posted my Monday outfit in the wee hours of the morning on Tuesday, and my Tuesday outfit in the wee hours of the morning on Wednesday, and so on... And because of all that, I didn't get to post what I actually wore today for Easter.

Tomorrow is the last day of our Spring Fashion Week, but do not fret! There are fun things on the horizon still! First of all, I will be announcing the winner of the $100 ModCloth gift card sometime early next week-- Monday or Tuesday. Secondly, you always have next season to look forward to! Summer is not too far off, and we will do another Fashion Round-Up once it comes.

Oh, and one more question...

Whose child could this possibly be? SURELY not mine. Where on EARTH would he learn to strike a pose like that??

Ahahahah what a goober. A mini-me through and through. ;)

Until tomorrow, lovelies! I've got to get back to BOILING EGGS.{yucky gross blech.}

April 2, 2010

Some have asked, so here are my fashion tips, in short ohdearlord make it stop:

•Dress in a way that makes you feel good. Don't be afraid to experiment until you find things that do.

•Do not waste one more moment of your life worrying about what other people think about what you are wearing.

•Only buy things that make you say "WOW!!" when you try them on. That way, anything you grab out of your closet will make you say "WOW" when you put it on. Why bother cluttering up your space with wow-less pieces?

•Have FUN with your style. Blending in with everyone else is boooooring. :)

•Find people whose style you like, and try to re-create it with what you've got! (Or head to a thrift store with their style in the forefront of your mind.) Try to keep your eyes on the people who avoid the latest 'flash-in-the-pan' trends. Personal style is not something that should change with every magazine issue that hits the stands.

•Buy versatile pieces that can be worn in many ways.

•Dark tights are your friends.

•Cute hats are your friends.

•Don't over accessorize! Understated is always better than overstated. (ALWAYS!)

•Lastly, remember that when you feel good in what you're wearing, you'll almost forget what it is that you are wearing. And then? You will look gorgeous!! When people look uncomfortable in what they are wearing, they don't look good. They just look... uncomfortable. That's the worst.

April 1, 2010

I have the BEST readers on the whole internets. You guys are so lovely and sweet and kind!

Anywho, today required TWO outfits because it was in the 50's this morning and then warmed up to 86 degrees by the afternoon! Wowzers!! So... like a good little fashion blog round-up hostess, I snapped pictures of both my looks for today. hehe.

And for the afternoon:High-Waisted Shorts: Vintage thriftedGray Flats- Old Navy

OH! And guess what else?!?

As some of you may know, Chris and I have been re-doing the living room bit by bit via the glorious 'Craig's List'. I've been selling things and then buying things and haven't had to spend any out-of-pocket money at all! (This little venture has been completely fun and ADDICTING, btw.)

We sold our old chairs and have been on the lookout for a rug.

Last night, I checked Craig's List and saw a rug had just popped up. I clicked on it and almost FAINTED.

It's a HUGE vintage rug that was made in France in the 1940's. The owner told us that when she purchased it years and years ago, the dealer told her it was cut from an even larger ballroom rug. The woman selling it wanted practically nothing for it. She said she just wanted it to go to a home that would appreciate it.

Me!! Me!! Pick ME!!!

I emailed her immediately and we went and picked it up right away. When Chris unrolled it last night, I got all teary-eyed. It's more gorgeous than anything I could have ever hoped for. I'm so blown away!

I love my new living room!

Here's the comparison of what it was and what it has transformed into:

before:

and after:

Now all that's left is to find a cool table lamp for between the chairs. I'm thinking something big but somewhat modern. It's a pretty main focal point for the room, so I want to get it just right.

I am a young musical mother who is trying to pin down what I know of life, parenting, grace, and the on-going battle to hear the beep! beeping! of my little heart in the midst of all the chaos. Key Players in my story: Ezra James, he's a sage old 6, Myer Elliot, the 2 year old sweetness, Truman Arthur, the oh-so-serious faced baby bean, and my husband, Chris, who could make even the hardest of hearts swoon. Thanks for reading along!