just a lonely old sea dog

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affairs of the heart

sad and sleepy thoughts. we’re just bodies- collections of scars and past and future hopes and forgotten dreams and lost lovers. we’re not the same. we’re sized and shaped differently. we carry certain contexts that affect this. we are limbs and skin and brains and hearts. we are abused lungs and livers. we are muscle…

Imitatio of Kerouac’s last line from On the Road: So in Fremont when the traffic blurs around and I stand alone in the center of the universe on the worn foot- beaten public sidewalk watching the slow, somber memories of you and know all that desperate energy that settled in every incalculable fiber of this…

In a moment of overwhelming sadness this evening, I find solace in something a very great artist/ human wrote in a tumblr post nearly three years ago… “heartbreak turns us into shipwrecks. but shipwrecks still contain the treasure to be found. the heart. the love. hidden… all it takes is an expeditionary diver with the…

Written upside- down in a journal on a drunken Saturday evening in less than five minutes. fleeting. like what? a feather in the wind? no… no. that doesn’t give you enough importance. how about a… or rather, the landscape in my rearview mirror..? you, at a stand- still in the past, slowly dissolving in the distance? no.…

Every space is inhabited with ghosts of you. And of the “we” –together- no longer existing. Every walk. Every talk and thought and moment, I hide you well, tuck you into my inner- most being, so outwardly, naturally, it would seem that you are gone. But, no. Every day I walk to school, knowing you’re…

My throat tightens under the pressure of the past and the now and the what will be without you in my life. We are driving past Tacoma, heading to a little town in Oregon and I am in the backseat thinking of your blue eyes and how they only look at me now in a…

This summer I learned what it is to be in love. I don’t yet know how to not be in love, any longer. I honestly can say I am not in any hurry to figure it out quite yet. So, it did not work out. I had a choice in the matter, as did he. It was…