What’s the PROblem?!?!

I have seen in my lifetime, albeit a short 28 years, several kinds of love. Unfaithful, disrespectful, young, incomprehensible, understandable, and lack there of. It is very rare to see a marriage that just works. I keep wondering to myself how is it I have managed to stay so happy in my marriage. It has only been 7 years. But many failed marriages fail by their third year and those that make it usually fail omce they have just had kids or when their kids leave the house.

Now. Today is not the day to talk about all of these loves or what has made mine work. What I will talk about is what makes young love, or new love fail. Often times when people get married I think it is the romance that they are aiming for. Or should I say the romanticism of love that you often find in books, movies, or my favorite Kdramas. 😉 what they are missing is the reality of love. The fact that it should be a lot of things rolled in to one great big package that is your partner. It is not easy living with someone else. Take, for example, what it is like living with your sibilings or parents/guardians. I am sure in the time you spent with them that you have gotten in some pretty big arguments. I am sure there where times you didn’t speak for days and days. You have probably even gotten into fights with cousins, friends, co workers…. People you barely even know.

Fights are what we do naturally. Almost as naturally as wanting to be and truly loving someone. Aside from the latter group of folks, you love your family especially your siblings. But in your mind you have told yourself that you HAVE to love them. That you didn’t CHOOSE to be related to them. However, unless they are the cruelest of people, and there are some out there. You wouldn’t trade them for the world.

What I am trying to say is choosing someone you are going to live with and build a family of your own with. It should be a carefully thought out decision. You have to be real with yourself and tell yourself. Can I really stand being with this person longer than I was with even my parents. If the answer is yes. Don’t follow it with, well there’s always divorce if it doesn’t work. Tell yourself. To death do us part. There is no such thing as divorce in my reality. Tell yourself that yes. There will be hard times. But as long as the good outweigh the bad. Its worth it. You have to talk to one another. Tell each other about your day. Talk about the future as much as you want to talk about how good things were at one point. Talk about where you want to be and how you want to get there. And go there together. If you don’t stay around and talk to one another than you are basically living with a stranger. That doesn’t seem right now does it?