500 lbs of pot: heaven or hell?

Apparently, a tour bus escorting one rapper, Fabulous, was found containing 500LB OF WEED.

Let me reiterate.

500 POUNDS OF WEED!

Not 500 bags or 500 joints, but 500 pounds. Seriously, what do you do with 500lbs of weed? Stuff a mattress? Of course, I’m assuming that it was going to be sold, but just for fun, let’s pretend that this was Fabulous’ private stash. And that 500lb of weed isn’t ridiculously excessive, even for a rapper.

According to the internet (which is where all good information comes from) a gram of pot will get you 1-3 joints, depending on how high you want to get and how many friends you’re sharing with. If we go with 2 joints per gram, that’s 908 joints per pound. That means that Fabulous was carrying the equivalent of 454,000 joints. Let that number sink in for a minute. In order to consume all that pot in a single year, Fabulous and his posse would have to collectively smoke down 1,244 joints a day. 249 joints a day if he wanted to get through it in 5 years. I’m guessing that it’s physically impossible for Mr Fab to consume all that pot. According to my extensive research, (and by “extensive research” I mean I asked some friends,) there’s no way he could possibly consume more than 50 joints in a single day, and that’s if they were pre-rolled, he had nothing better to do, and was constantly smoking every minute of every day. Even at that rate, it would take him 25 years to puff through it all. Not to mention the fact that he’d be constantly stoned and probably sick in ways that can’t even be described.

I guess what I’m trying to say is…that’s a friggin’ lot of pot! I mean, do you know many Funions and Slushies you’d have to eat to battle 500lbs of munchies?

Rawr it:

In other words, personal use won’t be a sound defense against whatever charges they lay upon him. Wait, hold on, how many people were traveling with him? It’s back on the table now, but the court would like to know how many munchies were also found aboard the bus.