In which X-Cutioner’s Song may be over, but its repercussions continue; Uncanny X-Men hits a major milestone; superhero comics are and always have been political; Bishop learns to banter; the X-Men gain an unlikely ally; and Magneto remains exceptionally difficult to kill.

X-PLAINED:

Jay & Miles at VVCBF

Uncanny X-Men #298-300

The Acolytes (more) (again)

The Upstarts (more) (again)

Several important lessons

A very fancy room

A very fancy brain

The unpleasant fate of Sharon Friedlander

The all-new, all-different Acolytes

Carmella Unuscione

The return of one of our favorite antagonists

A sick burn

The fate of Asteroid M

Molting

A debate

Graydon Creed (more) (again)

The tentative redemption of Robert Kelly

How to lose a debate with Joe Biden

A large number of prescient political references

Friends of Humanity

How to engage with a fascist in a televised debate

Noah DuBois

Fatale

A generic rural mob

Milan

A narratively convenient superpower

Amelia Voght

Seamus Mellencamp

Neophyte

The gospel of Magneto

A joyous reunion

The helmet that wouldn’t die

Ponytail ethics

Timelust

Several accents

The current state of Rogue’s powers

NEXT EPISODE: All Emma All Episode (feat. Seanan McGuire, Leah Williams, and more)!

In which it sucks to be a Rasputin; X-Men and Uncanny X-Men muddy the waters; Cyclops and Psylocke’s weird flirtation somehow manages to get even more awkward; Colossus has a long series of bad days; and you should totally come see us at Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival.

In which nobody but Stryfe’s diary understands him; Apocalypse is the best at what he does (and what he does is remarkably versatile); Scott and Jean weaponize their clichés; Jae Lee does his best Patrick Nagel; Apocalypse is poisonous; Cable goes full T-800; nothing good ever happens to Cyclops on the moon; Stryfe dies as passive-aggressively as he lived; and X-Cutioner’s Song finally concludes.

X-PLAINED:

How Cable dies

The Story So Far

Still more trading-card taxonomy

Uncanny X-Men #296

X-Factor #86

X-Men #16

X-Force #18

An AU we’d like to read

The not-Stüssy S

How to effectively reference X-Men #137

A decoy baby

An abortive escape

Moon gravity

Revelatory vandalism

A trip to the moon

A probably excessive number of hawk facts

Various daring rescues

How to kill time in space

Cathexes

A very fancy moon base

The cavalry, kind of

Stryfe vs. Cable

An X-Cellent epilogue

Several Silent Hill 2 references

Stryfe’s Legacy

Pawnee, Indiana vs. Marvel

Sexy high-security prisons of the future

NEXT EPISODE: Live from FlameCon, featuring Sina Grace, Magdalene Visaggio, and Leah Williams!

Special thanks to Matt for the subject of this episode’s cold open; and to the Protomen for use of their cover of “Total Eclipse of the Heart.”

In which Jubilee is underwhelmed by X-Force; Havok and Gambit make weirdly good buddy cops; Department K is a hot vacation destination; Cable is secretly a Coen Brothers protagonist; you can cancel Community but you can never take away Jay’s gratuitous Community references; Rusty goes full cultist; nobody is Stryfe’s real dad; smoking on a space station is a REALLY bad idea; Apocalypse is here to help; and Miles lies at length about music.

In which you may or may not have your own Black Bug Room; FlameCon was in fact every bit as wonderful as we projected (and more); Caliban hates true love; no one will ever be as extra as Mister Sinister; X-Cutioner’s Song is secretly a farce; we achieve Peak Cable; and the quintessential ’90s crossover event begins!

X-PLAINED:

The Black Bug Room

A good deal of pre-event status quo

Uncanny X-Men #294

X-Factor #84

X-Men #14

X-Force #16

Trading card taxonomy

The opening strains of a crossover event

A concert that worked out better in theory than in practice

An abduction

Several attempted murders

A large number of awkward reunions

An even larger number of inter-team brawls

Two villains pretending to be other villains

Cape logistics

Peak Cable

Many pouches

Many guns

The origin of Hope Summers

Our hopes for mutants in the MCU

NEXT EPISODE: Aw, Stryfe, no.

NOTE: At one point in this episode, Miles said “X-Force” when he actually meant “X-Factor.” If you can tell us where, you win the prize of eternal smugness (not as much smugness as Sinister, but still a lot).