Humans Annoy Me

For the most part, I’m annoyed by interaction with other people. It’s not always bad. It’s not always anyone’s fault either. I just get exhausted easily. That’s probably a better way to describe it… exhaustion.

I pay attention to every word. If we’re interacting in person, I pay attention to body language. I make adjustments to my choice of words, my body language, and my perception of the other person’s perception of me.

I try to understand what the other person wants out of the conversation. As long as I don’t have to sacrifice anything I feel is important, I give it to them. I refuse to bother people. I refuse to manipulate people. I’ll walk away from the conversation before I allow myself to be a burden to someone else.

What I mentioned above isn’t half of what I pay attention to during interactions. I run out of energy fast because with most people, I cannot put this process on autopilot.

It’s not always this way. Sometimes I interact with people who approach things in a similar fashion. We find the quickest path from point A to point B because teamwork makes the dream work (yea, I said that). There’s very little friction so we seem to slide along from subject to subject with no trouble at all.

I have a theory which states that my ability to connect with someone in a manner that does not leave me exhausted is directly related to the environment which hosts our interaction.

Basically, if we do not have the luxury of focusing 100% on each other, chances are I’ll be exhausted by the first subject change. I can tolerate small talk in passing and deep talk without interruption. Everything in between will have me wanting to stay at home and avoid the world for at least a few days.

I don’t hate people. I’m not really anti-social. I just appreciate real conversation and I won’t sacrifice any element of that. It’s all or pretty close to nothing with me.

So, yea… humans annoy me. I wish more people wanted to have real conversations. I’m let down almost every time I talk with someone. I’d rather talk with no one.