Seeking God in the Every Day

Finding Words

I’ve been trying to find the perfect words for this post, but I give up. The fact is, I’m pregnant. And, I’m over-the-moon excited that we’re going to have a little one in our home sometime in January.

But that’s not the full story. The full story includes that I’m still heartbroken for those of you dear ones still waiting. I’m praying for you. I’m waiting with you. I’m eager for you to experience your little miracles and your daily joys and your resolution in this trial.

The full story includes that it’s weird being infertile and pregnant. Like I don’t have any more street cred. Like the journey’s over (for now). Like I can’t know anymore what it’s like to be in the waiting room or going through treatments. And some of that is true. I know–barring a miracle–we’ll be going through treatments again someday, but that isn’t going to keep me from enjoying this pregnancy, this baby, this miracle growing inside me. I know what we’ve been through thus far was anything but trivial, and that the experiences we’ve had are not going to leave me. I know what it’s like to spend month after month hoping and finding those hopes dashed–but I also know that it’s worth it. That we’ve gotten there. That we’re making it through.

And I know what it feels like to be waiting. And waiting. I pray you’ll be on the other end of that soon.

As slow as all the waiting drags by, I thought I’d have time to enjoy pregnancy. To be happy and gloriously pregnant. But time switched to fast forward. And the first trimester is over before you’ve had a chance to fully realize that it’s started. And as you stare at 14 weeks–wasn’t it just 13 weeks yesterday?– you realize, you’re never going to get everything done. And a human being is coming. And that human will need things and time and love and–wow. I thought I had learned a lot in the waiting. Yet I find myself feeling completely unprepared. Inadequate. Unready as this miracle I want nothing more than to relish keeps speeding by.

Wishing a little fast-forwarding to all of you waiting. And that you’ll be here with me, soon, holding our babies and praising God for yet another everyday–or extraordinary–miracle.

22 thoughts on “Finding Words”

I’m so excited for you!! Blessings to you and a very happy and healthy pregnancy! However, I can TOTALLY relate to the “no street cred” thing. But think of if as a “graduation” of sorts. You are an alumnus, or a booster section cheering the other players on at the game. I’m thrilled for you! God is good!

OH Ria! This is so exciting and I’m so happy for you! Congratulations and I hope you do continue to blog and post lots of baby bump pictures, ultrasound photos and all the exciting things that come from pregnancy. This is a huge time of celebration Sending you hugs and I’m praying for perfect development of your precious baby and a smooth pregnancy and delivery for you. xo

Thanks so much dear! I really appreciate that. I’m so excited for all your bump pictures and to see dear Josiah when he finally comes, too! Thank you for your prayers–it means a lot. We’ll keep praying for you. Hope your waits go super fast and you get tons of time to relish and enjoy pregnancy and baby when they come!

How exciting! I’m so happy for you and your husband! I think all of us who get to this point struggle with a bit of survivor’s guilt, but pregnancy is not a cure for infertility. You still have plenty of street cred and can hopefully be an inspiration to those still waiting! Congratulations!

WAHOO!!! Praise Jesus! Congrats Ria! It’s so good hearing from you – especially with such AMAZING news!!! God is so faithful! Thanks for sharing – when you share your testimony it opens the environment for Him to create the same miracle!!! January!!!!! SO SOON!! Congrats Congrats! Can’t wait to tell Colby! Seems like we were all just in my living room together praying for this!

And I totally understand what you mean about still being broken hearted. Mothers day this year was maybe harder for me knowing so many others were still waiting. I will always ache for those waiting. That wound went too deep.
And yeah, overwhelmed here too! We have hardly any stuff because in my mind “we have time” but only a few more months!

So excited for you. Will keep you and your little one in prayer. I’m so thankful God heard our prayers and answered us.

Thanks so much! I’m sure God will provide us enough time to do all that we *need* to do to be ready. Whether we’ll have time for all we’d like to do is another story! WIshing you the best, and praising God for answered prayers, too!

Congratulations! So happy for you. I, too, found myself pregnant, probably around the same time as you. I was due in January as well, but we miscarried around 7 weeks. I felt the same way about street cred. In fact, even though I’m still waiting for my miracle, I still feel like my street cred is lost now that I’ve conceived, even if it didn’t last. Enjoy this time while it lasts. It will be gone before you know it and you’ll be loving on your new little one. 🙂

Congrats!! Very excited for you. I have lost some friends after “graduating” from the infertility world and leaving them behind. It’s hard losing that piece of yourself that you’d been used to for all those years, even though it wasn’t fun I will appreciate this baby so much more for the struggles. I know how to “cope” as an infertile, but being in the world of fertile preggos? Not so much.

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Tori Andrew

Infertility is painful. We started trying to conceive in September 2011 and were diagnosed with infertility in July 2012. We finally conceived in April 2014, and are expecting our first child in January. While we have felt so much pain and grief in our infertility, we have been blessed to see how God has used this trial to shape us and draw us closer to himself. I pray that he will use this blog for his glory and that the things he is teaching me in this life will speak to others. Praise God that our trials are not in vain.

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