Tuesday, July 24, 2007

I'm not really sure where to start. I'm sad again today. But, it's a little different. I think I know why. My Papa is sick. It's actually my husbands' Papa but I love him as much as my own. No one really knows what is going on right now. It's believed that he may have had a stroke last weekend and now his kidneys appear to be shutting down. Saturday, he had his first Dialysis and it takes several hours for him to go through. Now, we just don't know how he can survive this 3 times a week and without it, he may not survive either. He's in his 90's and I can't imagine life without him. I can't imagine our Granny or our Aunt Ellen without him. How did this happen so fast? I know that over the last few months he has had several health issues but this happened so fast.To walk in a room and see his smiling eyes just makes our day. He has a crooked little smile that looks like he's up to something. My son inherited his smiling eyes and when Hunter laughed or smiles still today, I see Papa. I love to hear the stories he tells. I love to hear him talk. I love him in so many ways and now my heart is hurting because he's sick. I know that he has lived such a wonderful life and that when it's his time, he'll see Jesus. Am I selfish to say that I want more time with him, or that I want him to be well again? Please pray for our Papa. Just please pray for God's will to be done.

Today, I spoke with my sister in law after a long time and we had a very nice conversation. It's been about a year since our family relationship fell apart. I think today we took the first steps to rebuilding our relationship again. She is the most talented person I know and I hope that along the way to recovery we can use our common interests to grow as a family again. I hope that she can mentor me in Photography and Scrapbooking, the two biggest things that we share the love for. Please pray for our family. Today, God opened a door and together, we walked through.

It's late and I'm tired. I just wanted to reflect on some things going on in my life. The good, the bad and the things we'd rather not always share. It's about real life and I'm learning that it's OK to admit how you really feel. It's OK to say everything isn't always happy and that we need prayer and care and concern. Goodnight and thanks for all your thoughts and prayers. May God bless you all!!

6 comments:

Jenn, thanks for meeting me halfway. I'm glad that after this long year we are able to grasp hands and walk through this door together. I hope we can heal our relationship, and through this whole ordeal our families can be closer than ever. I really do want to get together and play with our cameras! Thanks girl!! {{hugs}}