What I've Learned From Teaching My Son to Cook

The first time my son and I cooked together, I asked for a cup measurer and was handed a micro-grater. Then a teaspoon.

I thought of my husband. He can boil water, he can follow microwave instructions, he can grill a steak, and he can order take-out. I can count on one hand the number of times he's made dinner for the family — and I didn't want my boys to grow up the same way.

So, I rallied my oldest, of-cooking-age son and started with the basics: measuring cups and spoons; a pan versus a pot; spatulas, ladles, and everything else.

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We pinched each other with tongs and made silly puppets with oven mitts. We laughed and we bonded in a way we never had before. Sure, we hadn't cooked a single thing that first lesson, but he spent the whole meal saying how excited he was to learn more. That made me feel special, as a mom.

Problem was, how was I supposed to teach a child to cook while still getting dinner ready for the family? I never want to discourage him, but at the same time, I can't let something burn on the stovetop while I'm teaching him how to beat an egg.

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So, I decided to make him my sous-chef. Every recipe has some busy but meaningful task that my son is perfectly capable of doing. Now he peels garlic, onions, and sometimes potatoes (if I feel up to supervising him with a peeler). I have him pull leaves off stems or core strawberries with a straw. As he works beside me, I call him my sous-chef and he cries, "My name's not Sue!" He's happy, I'm cooking, and dinner comes out on time.

When he insisted he was ready to make something himself, I chose his dish: jello. I know it sounds ridiculous because Jello isn't really food, but it teaches necessary skills like measuring, boiling water, and stirring until dissolved. They're challenging enough, but he can do every single one of them alone, including turning on the burner. Best of all, he gets a delicious dessert not long afterward to reward him for his hard work.

I also started giving him daily tasks to help practice new skills. He may be in charge of making toast, cutting sandwiches for lunch, or cleaning and slicing celery for snacks. But my favorite is brewing the morning pot of coffee. On good days, he'll even bring me the first cup.

We recently watched Rachel Ray's Kids Cook-Off and my husband asked if he thought our son was ready to make the winning dish: Lamb Chops with Stuffed Arancini, Avocado Sauce, Pickled Daikon and Carrots, and Cucumber Kimchi. He can barely read all those words, let alone cook them. (For that matter, neither can I!)

But my son can already do almost as much as my husband, and he's only eight. He feels so good about all he's accomplished. He's even started asking to learn more advanced skills, like how to fry an egg and make homemade bread. Better still? Because he plays his small role in making our family's food, he's started expanding his diet. The other night, he ate creamed kale and loved it. Creamed kale! Of course, he took full credit for how good it tasted, because he personally cleaned, de-ribbed, and chopped it.

Since we've started cooking together, he's grown more confident, more mature, and more responsible. We also get to bond over every single meal and that's something I hope will never change. When my youngest reaches six, I'll start the process all over again — but this time, with the help of my oldest. I know it will bring us all closer as a family, even if we have to eat nothing but coffee and jello.