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A 12-Year-Old Babysitter?

By Lisa Belkin September 1, 2010 10:50 amSeptember 1, 2010 10:50 am

Need a babysitter? The 12-year-old next door would like the job. Is 12 too young to trust alone with your children? How about 13? 11?

That’s what Amy Graff is wondering over at Babycenter.com, in an essay titled “Would You Let a 12-Year-Old Babysit Your Kids?” Her children are 5 and 7, and since they have been born their “date night” sitters have been college students who all eventually graduated. As she explains:

…so when we recently moved into a new home and the cute young girl named Sophie who lives across the street said she was interested in babysitting, I was practically doing cartwheels. Here was fresh, eager babysitter meat right across the street.
Sophie confidently said hello and gave us a refrigerator magnet she had created with her name and number on it.

“Call me,” she said.

I stuck the magnet on our fridge and often fiddle with it, but I haven’t called her.

Here’s the thing: She’s not in high school. She’s 12 years old and in the 6th grade.

Does that seem young to anyone? Am I crazy for even thinking that?

In the sixth grade I was still playing with dolls, proudly donning my Girl Scout uniform to school and was so shy that I often cried when my teacher called on me in class. I babysat as a kid but it didn’t start until I was at least 14 years old.

Graff polled her mom (who said “if she’s responsible and can handle it, then it’s fine”) and her friends (who suggested more of a “mother’s helper” relationship at first, with Graff staying in the house). Then she polled BabyCenter readers, who were divided between “absolutely” and “absolutely not.”

What is the minimum age for the recently baby-sat to become the baby-sitter?

(And while we are on the subject of “minimum age,” after our discussion here last week about whether 14-year-olds should date, the Learning Network blog on nytimes.com asked the same question of its readers — who are teenagers themselves. You can see what they had to say here. Suffice it to say they did not read the situation the same way their elders had. I wonder what they would think about 12-year-old babysitters?)

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We're all living the family dynamic, as parents, as children, as siblings, uncles and aunts. At Motherlode, lead writer and editor KJ Dell’Antonia invites contributors and commenters to explore how our families affect our lives, and how the news affects our families—and all families. Join us to talk about education, child care, mealtime, sports, technology, the work-family balance and much more