Two Judges, Three Nuns And A Monk Walk Into A Bar

Kudos to whoever got the Metropolitan Police to release information (PDF) about the occupations of people who were victims of Section 5 Public Order offences since 2003, as it provided perfect Friday lunchtime browsing material. (We originally read the data as people arrested, which makes the data less funny, but there you go.) Here are some of the more bizarre stats that popped up:

Nearly 2,000 schoolchildren and 1,638 students were victims

607 employees of the ambulance service, 5,169 various police employees and 22 fire service staff were targeted

1,410 women gave their occupation as housewife; but we have just five househusbands

Two judges, one astronomer, one economist and six MPs felt compelled to call in the cops

We're not sure whether to believe the one man and three women who claimed to be a monk and nuns

Nine butchers and 12 bakers are listed; we blame the advent of electricity for there being no chandlers

Though technology doesn't prevent there still being chimney sweeps (two)

We feel sorry for the one homeopathist, though we bet the person arrested had only had a drop.

If you're not sure what Section 5 is, it's generally what you're arrested under if you're pissed and/or rowdy. But you can also be arrested for insulting someone, and this aspect is the subject of a reform campaign from people who find that idea an affront to free speech.

Very sorry to point out a sizeable journalistic blunder, but the MPS release pertains to the VICTIMS of section 5 offences, not perpetrators. It seemed strange how there were so many police and ambulance staff arrested..