Saturday, July 19, 2008

Why hasn't she been writing?

Well, there hasn't been anything to write about. I haven't been working on the wedding. And the longer I don't work on it, the more futile it seems.

Thing is, I no longer know why I wanted to have a wedding in the first place. Or rather, I do know. But the reasons are based on one big fat fallacy: mainly that anyone gives a shit. Oddly enough, when you spend $25,000 on a huge party and provide people with as much food and liquor as they can stand, they show up. But why? Would they be coming because they're just so utterly filled with joy at our happiness?

In a word, no. They'd be coming for the free food and booze. The marriage part would get an "oh, isn't that nice, but I'm not married yet / I'm not happy in my marriage, so I'll probably just use it as an excuse to be bitter" between servings of stuffed mushrooms and champagne. And why, exactly, should I bust my ass and stress myself out for the next year and a half, to enable that at my expense (in more ways than one)? Right now I'm pretty much feeling a big fat "no thanks".

Oh, I still want to get married. But getting married and having a wedding have only the most tangential of relationships. In summation, I've been throwing myself parties since I was 14 years old, because I'd figured out by then that no one was going to throw them for me. And you know what's all I've ever gotten out of any of them? A huge mess, a big bill, and an even bigger sense of worthlessness.

So you know what people? You don't care that I'm getting married? Fine. You are released. There's no wedding for you to feel obligated to show up to and then not dance at. Don't bother sending a present. It would probably be a piece of shit that we don't need anyway. And as for the "wedding party", who the hell was I kidding? As if I know anyone who'd expend the effort on me that it would take to be a bridesmaid. Ain't happenin'. I've always known this, but I deluded myself for a little while there.

City Hall, then dinner for the family, and a night at a fancy hotel. No, I won't be happy with it. But at least I won't be out thousands upon thousands of dollars and wondering why I'm being ignored at my own wedding, why all of my "friends" could care less about what's supposed to be one of the most important days of my life. That doesn't exactly spell bliss in my book, and I'm more than willing to bet that it's how any "wedding" of mine would turn out.

No comments:

Please give if you can!

It goes like this.

We planned a whole vegan shebang up here in NYC, which even with our super-simple lowballing plans was singing to the tune of $25K... or more. So we decided that no way were we gonna drop that kind of cash on one day, no matter how important that day might be. We floated in limbo for a while. Have there been other problems? Oh yes, there have. But now we've arrived at a solid Plan B - wedding in New Orleans! Sounds a little nuts, right? But it actually makes more sense than anything else we've considered...

What is this girl rambling about?

Well, the thing is that my fiance and I are both vegan, and this wedding is for us. But of course we also want it to be amazing for our guests. We're also fairly non-traditional; there will be no church, I will not be wearing white, and we refuse to go into debt over this thing. No one's giving me to anyone, and there's no aisle to walk down anyway. What it all adds up to is that we'll be sort of starting from scratch, building a wedding that works for us from the ground up. We'll be doing a lot of things ourselves, from interrogating caterers and cake-makers to making our own centerpieces, bouquets, and invitations. It won't be as off-the-wall as some of the weddings out there, but it won't be your standard fare either, and it should be rather fun making it all happen. As my darling would say, you can color along and see what happens...

The ring. *sigh*

Our Lennox champagne glasses.

the mikasa cake serving set - look ma, no bows!

topiary!

Cupcakes from Vegan Treats that we are not having. But they were good!

About Me

vegan in new orleans, hurrah. i was born in a storm, and raised in one too. and then one named katrina changed my life. i have a hard time saying where i'm from, but i can tell you for sure that my heart and my home are in new orleans, the place where i wasn't born. i left there after nine years not knowing what i had - what's that old cliche? now i've returned with a better appreciation. in the interim, i spent 5.5 years in nyc riding the subway and taking pictures. i get by with a husband who loves to drive me crazy, four rescued rabbits, and one rescued monster who thinks himself a cat.