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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Some cakes are like those ink blot tests you saw in grade school: baffling blobs of color open to interpretation. Well, not exactly; cakes are usually supposed to look like something in particular. Sometimes they taste better, too.

Anyway, since I've gotten a few of these "ink blot" type cakes submitted, I thought it'd be fun to add a little suspense to your daily dose of Wreckage. That's right, boys and girls, now it's time to play...

"Guess That Wreck!"

Everyone ready? Ok, clear your mind of all thoughts. Now, scroll down and tell me what you see:

"What's that? Ah, you see the moon cooking on the grill in a paper bag? [scribbling on notepad] Interesting, veeery interesting... [looking over glasses] And tell me, how IS your relationship with your mother?"

Check back tomorrow for the "answer": I'll post a picture of what the cake was supposed to look like. In the mean time, let's see who can come up with the most outrageous explanation. I may even post the top 3 guesses here, so bring on the funny, folks; fame and fortune await!*

Thanks to Dana W. for inspiring a brand new category! Oh, and Dana? Don't go giving away the answer just yet, k?

*By "fame" I mean a shout-out to your posting name, and "fortune" is used more in the "destiny" sense of the word than the "wealth or riches" sense. So in other words, no, you won't be getting any money*. Unless someone sends it to you, of course. But that someone would not be me. So probably not.

* Or begetting any money, either; 'cuzthat'd just be weird. And wrong. But mostly weird.

However, my better answer is that it is a cake to celebrate the graduation of a geology* student from the French Monarchy who has a penchant for football.

* You can see the decorator's attempt at different kinds of rock formations. Magma in the middle, "dirt" on the bottom, limestone or similar on top. The indentation is meant to be an illustration of plate tectonics (specifically when to plates collide)

Umm, it's a burned hotdog (bottom wreck) waiting to be placed in a grilled bun (middle wreck), to be eaten at the full moon (top wreck.) It's meant to be eaten at a tailgating party; hence the little football helmets. The fleur de lis was just the signature of the decorator. Yeah, that's the ticket!

At first I thought they were little bugs around the cake then I realized they were helmets and was going to guess the Superdome. But it can also be a pot of chili, a fondue pot, or a hotdog with ketchup, mustard and a fleur de lis in the middle. Or maby the old time, stove top jiffy pop popcorn.

It's a symbol of the oppression of All-American Food, represented here by a slab of grilled ribs supported by a football team, by European Haute Cuisine, represented by the broiled salmon filet with red wine and mustard sauce garnished with a fleur-de-lys of toasted nori.

My 5 year old says it is a "bear's paw with a soldier's hat on it"...We are not french so I don't know how he came up with the fleur de lis being a symbol of any military...and I'm slightly concerned about how he thinks the soldier's hat would get on the bear's paw... in his imagination was this some horrible mountain training expedition gone wrong?(as would explain the streaking red)...maybe "When Animals Attack" isn't an appropriate show for a 5 year old who can't fall asleep to watch...;-)

Oh, absolutely fabulous! I was a little confused at first, thinking it might be the superdome, but how silly of me...CLEARLY, this is that new French version of surf 'n' turf: a nicely-grilled sirloin topped with a lightly seared tuna steak. And to finish it off, a rich, creamy half-wheel of fully mature camembert.

My only question is: why make a cake of it, when the real thing is already so fabulously delicious?

Being a Canadian and not a sports fan, I have to confess I have no idea what the NOLA Superdome looks like. I can buy the dome idea (the silver thing?) but ... why is it orange? And why does it have a bend in it? I see an ugly couch, in front of a rock, with coffee beans scattered evenly around the edges. And I have no explanation for the brown thing ... if it *is* the superdome, what is the brown thing? The football field? Why is it outside the arena then?

It is a a piece of salmon branded with a fleur de lis in the cake as other food category. It is sitting on what was a cedar plank but has burnt. Some half squished bugs are sitting around the base, having broken the protective perimeter of the mosquito netting on top of the grill.

The first few comments I read said it was the Superdome, so I looked at some images online. I guess it does kind of look like the Superdome... If a group of body-less football-helmet-wearing-giants bisected it, flipped on its side, painted its top gray and put red & orange graffiti all over it...

It's the Prince of Wales' Royal Bingo machine, hence the fleur de lys. It looks like a knitted crown but all those little things with numbers are obviously iced olives representing bingo counters that are pulled at random. The Queen of England shouts the numbers out as she draws them- two fat ladies, 88- that sort of thing.

I believe that this is meant to be an ugly couch, with an evil court jester sitting on it, watching football on TV and laughing at the confused people wondering where the football team has gone, as he has kidnapped them and stuffed them under his ugly couch.