Warning: This review is not all that nice. If you are sensitive to critic, delete this now.

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I don't know what to say about this story. It started out good and with a original twist but then it started going down hill. I think you kind of lost your way when Kyle asked Stan to meet him at the mall. From there on the story is just filled with unnecessary dialog and no clear story line. There were too many people talking, too much going on, too many places they went to. It all turned messy and I had a hard time keeping track of what was going on.

My tip wold be to have a clear story line. In this case, Kyle and Stan's building relationship. Keep the focus on them, give them time to explore their own thoughts and feelings. Don't mix too many people into their businesses.

You have a good thing going on, but try not to let it get out off your hands. Keep the story line clear and on the ground.

I just finished reading this story and I liked it alot, mainly because of the group's friendship and because of how it's not perfect between Stan and Kyle but at some points it got a little too awkward in my opinion _; I also think smoking marijuana is a bit OOC for Kyle, especially since you emphasized how he is thinking about his future but it made me lol when the girls started asking for candy, very recognisable x3 I really liked Stan's speech about how being straight forward is alot better than playing games, I guess that's your personal opinion as well. Also one day there might actually be a Sex in the City 7 *shivers* o_o I loved how Clyde thought it was porn because it had the word 'sex' in the title, since I thought that too before I knew what it was about xD Again, I hope this was useful :3 x