Friday, July 26, 2013

Assholes do Exist!

Picture this, a stunning day in Scotland, shockingly the sun is shining (yay alliteration), out for a brutal legs are burning, anaerobic run. When suddenly out of nowhere a foot is in your path, just in time for your neon runners to snag it and cause you fly forward at over 9mph.

Now anyone who is not a total asshole in polite society would assume that the foot was placed there by mistake, not intentionally for the sole purpose of tripping a suffering runner.

You would be wrong.

9 miles, 2*3 miles in zone 3 & 4. I'm at mile 8.5, HR is well into zone 4 I was feeling it. I'm headed towards home, a half mile from the finish, and there are two men coming at me. Note men, not some young punks, guys in their mid 30's. When I moved to one side to go past them they look at each other and move to the same side laughing, I go the other way they move again into my path. Then as I come closer they split down the middle, now the road is so tiny here I would be clipped by a car if I went off the side walk.

So I guess I have to go through these douche bags. Heres the shocker the guy on my right, stops, and sticks his freaking foot out! Now I'm moving at this point, and I cant slow down to avoid it. I think his plan was to jokingly put his foot out and pull it back (because I can not wrap my head around someone purposely tripping me). Well his slow fat ass was too slow if thats what he meant to do because I connected, didn't have time to slow down or avoid it.

Now I'm not the most coordinated person ever, and I have a tendency to hurt myself by tripping over my own damned feet (on perfectly flat surfaces with no obstacles), I don't need this jerk off's help.

By some miracle I was able to stay upright and do a drunken stumble like move and ended up still on my feet. And of course in true runner style, apparently I hit my lap button on my Garmin as I stumbled.

I saw RED.

I've never wanted to hit anyone so bad in my life. Common sense unfortunately came into play, since there were two of them I barely restrained myself.

Instead I walked up to this guy, who was laughing, got within an inch of his face and started screaming at him. He stopped laughing quickly, I don't think he expected a little neon clad runner to get right in his face. He tried to walk away just staring at the ground not saying a word, so I walked backwards still less than a foot away from his face, yelling at him, asking if it made him feel like a big man to knock a women to the ground. According to my Garmin split it was just under 3 minutes of yelling (I don't think that is what Garmin had in mind to record).

Now I'm a pretty chill person, it takes a lot to get me to yell or get worked up. I have never in my life spoken to someone the way I yelled at this man, I was so angry. I couldn't imagine what was going through his head when he decided to stick his foot out.

After that incident I felt like I could break the mile record I was so fuelled by adrenaline. Instead ran a few extra miles to cool down and get a clear head before I head home.

Now that I look back on it, I feel sorry for the guy. That he is such a pathetic loser that this is how he gets his kicks. Maybe he should start running to blow off some of that steam :p I don't think he will trip up any more runners though.