Stiffy Makane: Apocolocyntosis— 51 of 235

One of the Bruces and Drunken Bastard

Slutty_Julia is a woman. "Julia lies arms and legs akimbo on the altar." Rule for deciding the concealed possessions of Slutty_Julia:no. The description is "Julia is a very pretty young woman, despite her nose. She is stark naked and appears thoroughly ravished. She also appears happy, relaxed, and satiated." The printed name of slutty_julia is "Julia (well-ravished)". The conversation of Slutty_Julia is the Table of Slutty_Julia's Chatter. The default reply of Slutty_Julia is "Julia shrugs langorously." Understand "ravished" and "julia" as Slutty_Julia. Slutty_Julia has a number called nosejob_hints. Nosejob_hints is 0.

Slutty_Julia's hair is part of Slutty_Julia. The printed name is "Julia's hair". The description of Slutty_Julia's hair is "Julia's hair is black as night; it lies in wild tangles about her head, and is adorned with gobs of god-semen." Understand "jet-black" and "black" as Slutty_Julia's hair. Understand "Julia's hair" as Slutty_Julia's hair.

Slutty_Julia's eyes are part of Slutty_Julia. The description of Slutty_Julia's eyes is "Lovely deep-brown eyes." Understand "brown" as Slutty_Julia's eyes. Understand "Julia's eyes" as Slutty_Julia's eyes. The printed name is "Julia's eyes".

Slutty_Julia's nose is part of Slutty_Julia. The description of Slutty_Julia's nose is "Well, there's no way around it. Julia's nose is [italic type]still[roman type] big and ugly." Understand "big", "ugly", "enormous", "beak", "horrible", "hideous", "vile", and "abominable" as the nose. Understand "Julia's nose" as the nose. The printed name is "Julia's nose".

Divine_semen is part of Slutty_julia. The printed name is "semen". Understand "sweat", "sperm", and "semen" as divine_semen. The description is "Sweat and semen streak Julia's hair and body." Instead of sucking or tasting divine_semen, say "Salty." Instead of smelling divine_semen, say "Bleachy." The indefinite article is "the". Does the player mean doing something with divine_semen: it is likely.

Instead of giving something that is not the stiffycock to Slutty_Julia, say "Julia langorously waves [the noun] away.";

Instead of blowing Slutty_Julia, try blowing Slutty_Julia's nose. Instead of kissing Slutty_Julia's nose, say "You venture a tremulous peck on the side of her enormous beak. She rolls her eyes, and sighs in exasperation. 'That,' she points out, 'is [italic type]not[roman type] a nose job.'" Instead of fucking Slutty_Julia's nose:

if the stiffycock is not held, instead try fucking Slutty_Julia;

say "Julia recoils as you menace her left nostril with your penis. 'Yikes!' she says. 'I guess, technically, that would be a nose job. But, uh, I had more, um, oral in mind, Stiffy.'".

Instead of sucking Slutty_Julia's nose:

if Slutty_Julia is unboinked

begin;

say "At the last moment, terrified of the quantity of mucus that might produce, you decide to convert your suck into a blow instead.";

instead try blowing Slutty_Julia's nose;

otherwise;

say "You survived one encounter with her nose already. Surely that's enough for any man.";

end if.

Instead of kissing Slutty_Julia:

if the stiffycock is not lit

begin;

if Slutty_Julia is unboinked

begin;

say "Julia kisses you back passionately. 'The god doesn't mind if I see other people now,' she whispers seductively in your ear.";

otherwise;

say "Julia kisses you, although somewhat less enthusiastically. 'Hey, could I get a nose job?' she inquires.";

end if;

otherwise;

say "Julia kisses you deeply and giggles. 'Isn't it nice to be favored by Jupiter Virilis?'";

end if.

Instead of blowing Slutty_Julia's nose:

if the stiffycock is not lit

begin;

say "Worse things happen at sea, or so you've been told. You put your lips around Julia's nose (it's quite a chore) and give it a damn good blow. She shrieks in ecstasy, and suddenly you are surrounded by shimmering light. [paragraph break]A voice thunders, 'Thou hast pleased me with thy progress, and thus I grant thee the gift of my protection! Use it wisely in my name[13 as a reference]!' [paragraph break]Julia looks vastly impressed that the god has spoken to you. [if the stiffycock is held by the player]She looks even more vastly impressed with your now faintly glowing cock. [end if][paragraph break]";

say "Julia moans as you embrace her. She's more than willing, and extremely enthusiastic. Unfortunately, she's not very, well, [italic type]good[roman type]. But then again, she hasn't had much practice, so you take pity on her, and somewhere between her sixth and seventh screaming orgasms, you manage[emdash]with some effort[emdash]one of your own.[paragraph break]";