no one can help me. It's gonna end soon

I don't know why I'm even posting, I know nothing anyone says will help me. I have been thinking so much about suicide and researching a method exstensively. I hate my life and am incredibly incredibly depressed. But even worst than that I'm so so alone and no will or has ever cared for me. I'm worthless, a coward, an asshole I should be shot. I dream of the day I die all the time. I've stopped being able to properly sleep and properly do anything at all actually, just no energy. At least at night I don't have to deal with people. I hate having to deal with anyone because. Have to pretend to have any feeling. It's almost impossible because I'm so incredibly numb. I'm completely broken and I've given up. Now I just need the right time and I'll be out of here. I'll finally be free

Just because I'm leaving doesnt mean I'm giving up on you.. I care so much about you, why can't you see it I love you Chris don't do this Im not going to just leave you it's kind of impossible for me to do that I'll always try and be with u don't give up on me please Don't say no1 cares u know urself I care