Someone needs to market ’16 year old boys room deodoriser’ cause I will buy shares in that company. Shit, I will BUY the company and lick their feet.

Like seriously… Jesus, the Apostles, all the people with the fishes and the loaves and the temple fuckers that he kicked out when he did that awesome solo in Jesus Christ Superstar*, would be WEEPING from the stench that literally WALKS ITSELF out of his room each morning.

I don’t let him have food in there.

He doesn’t have stinky shoes or clothes or dirty socks in there…

Fuck. 16 year old boys, man.

I am fucking going in there with a gas mask, bleach and some potpourri.

*clearly I got all of my religious education from the stage show in 1992.

I can’t help you here. The minute my boys left the house I would open doors and windows and set the fans going. Also bought new pillows and mattress protectors each year and changed their sheets as often as I could. Pillows in particular absorb an astonishing amount of sweat. I’ve heard charcoal is a good odour absorber, can you set containers of charcoal around his room? Maybe where he can’t see them in case he thinks it’s tasty? you can buy it in pet stores, it’s the stuff they use in aquarium filters.

We used to have one of our four boys with five of their stinky hungover mates laying around our lounge room all day. This went on for years as each kid reached 17 years of age. Thank Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the ten lepers that doesn’t happen any more. I wanted to burn the room down.

My lovely nephew inherited his feet from his father, the only thing he ever gave him. My dear lord, we honestly thought that we could make a fortune selling his sneakers as cockroach traps but we couldn’t get the buggers to go near them.
The only thing that worked was buying a Chinese herbal concoction in bags that went on the feet and drew out the impurities and it was great. The bags turned black overnight then gradually lightened as the feet stopped ripening. He showered, deodorised and his long hair was washed more than mine but the feet kept keeping on until the Chinese herbs and expensive cotton socks along with 7 pairs of rotated shoes. Poor kid used to wear thongs in winter hoping the cold would kill the smell.

To make it worse, he won’t even put his clean clothes away. Consequently, I refuse to go in there and the room never gets cleaned (it’s a bit like the cold war on that front). If we have guests, the door gets closed. His father even put a bio-hazard sign on the door but it has had no effect.

I’m thinking that a bulldozer might be in order when he’s away during the April school holidays.