Friday, July 23, 2010

I haven't updated my blog in forever, so I thought I should, and then I thought, "But my life pretty much sucks, who would want to read that??" So I didn't. And then life started to suck even more, and more, and more. And now it's gotten to the point where I can't even put it all into words. I just don't have words. It's too vast.

How can one quickly sum up the incidents of a life that lead to this place? The place where sorrow and happiness meet. Where emotions run so high and so complicated that thinking about it makes you want to cry and smile at the same time. I have no idea. But maybe trying will help somehow, although I'm skeptical that's even possible.

To catch you up to speed, Workman's Comp denied Hubs' surgery back in April. Since then we've been waiting for doctors and lawyers and insurance reps to get their paperwork ducks in a row. We're still waiting, and praying, and hoping for the best. In the meantime Hubs hasn't been working. We're living on savings (thank God we have it!) and praying we won't have to much longer.

In the midst of this waiting, our 24 year old niece passed away on June 19th. We're devastated. I could write a whole post simply about this incident, but I'm not sure I could bear it. Let's just say, no one expects their 24 year old daughter to go asleep one night and simply not wake up the next morning. Alisha was a sweet bright light in our family, we loved her dearly, and miss her terribly.

We drove to California for a party in her honor, stayed for a week or so, went to Disneyland with Hubs' family (Who does these things? We do apparently. Although I'm sure Alisha would have approved.) and came home. A grueling 16 hour drive home, but hey, who's counting?

Our dogs were sick the whole time we were gone, and although we had excellent neighbors caring for them, our house was a poopy barfy mess when we arrived and we spent the following 6 hours cleaning and sanitizing. And then we fell down and slept like rocks.

We also came home to some scary letters from Hubs' work and workman's comp, and had to wait for 2 weeks for our lawyer to get home from his vacation before we knew what it all meant. Basically, they can't fire Hubs, but they can stop paying for his health insurance and force us to pay for Cobra. We learned this on our anniversary this week. Happy Anniversary to us! Eight years, and we're still chugging along. At our Anniversary dinner last night, in the same spot where we had our wedding reception, we decided that I need to start looking for a job. It's not what either of us had planned, but we gotta stay solvent somehow.

To top it all off, I found out yesterday that I have a gallstone. I had the ultrasound yesterday morning, and I am waiting to hear from my doctor about whether or not she'll recommend surgery.

Truthfully, we're pretty scared and sad. We're not sure where this road is leading but it sure seems like it's not going to a good place.

The bright spot of course, is our girls. Without them we'd be wallowing in self-pity right about now. Instead, we're having so much fun with them! They're at such an excellent age right now, learning new things all the time, excited about such simple pleasures, and constantly saying things to crack is up. Laughter really is good medicine. Amen!