It consumes me

It consumes me. How much I want him, how much I need him. How I don’t know if that feeling is the same.

Why are men so hard to understand, why can’t they just be straight forward. When I’m with him, nothing else in this world even matters, but when we’re apart he’s all I care about. I want to scream. My chest feels like it could explode. He is so unconditional. I don’t just randomly catch these kind of feelings and I’m so scared I’m setting myself up for a disastrous heart break.

I love him, although I won’t admit it because it’s only been a short while. But I can’t help the way he makes me feel. He treats it like a relationship when we’re together, but like friends when we aren’t. He doesn’t see anyone else, but I still want him to only want me. I miss him as soon as I not with him, and it seems to good to be true that he would want me.

I don’t know what to do, how to keep my mind busy. Holy fuck this is awful.