Quotes (17)

Max: Everything happens for a reason? That's what you said when my hamster died.
George: Well what were we supposed to say? Mr. Fluffy died because a selfish boy got a skateboard and forgot to feed him? Bet you wish I had a cliche now don't ya?

George: Carmen, I'm going to tell you something we weren't going to tell you until you turned 18. If you get pregnant, you'll die.
Angie: George! That's horrible... to just blurt out the truth like that! (To Carmen) You have a rare baby allergy. You getting pregnant would be like putting a grenade in your cookie.
Carmen: Okay, you guys can't keep my from Jason anymore than you can keep a hungry bow weeval from a field full of cotton.
George: Well if you think you're getting married, you're crazier than a gravy covered cat in a barn full of bloodhounds! (To Angie) It's hard, you try it!

Angie: You have your whole life ahead of you. If you get pregnant now, you'll always regret it.
George: She's right. Not a day goes by I don't regret having children. You think your mom and I had these worry lines before you were born?
Angie: George!
George: Well, damn it, Angie! We were beautiful!

(after Jason leaves)Carmen: I said "Baby, date whoever you want, but just get it out of your system by June 17th because that's when we're getting married." But then, he must've gone into a tunnel because the line just cut off, so I'm gonna wait a couple of minutes and then call him back.
George: Yeah, take your time, sweetheart. You know that tunnel leaving L. A.'s pretty long.

Notes (4)

Final apperance by Bryan Fisher.

The 1-hour fifth season opener for ABC's "George Lopez" posted a dominant victory in its time period, beating its closest competition by 1.3 million viewers (9.6 million vs. 8.3 million - NBC's "E-Ring") and by 24% in Adults 18-49 (3.6/10 vs. 2.9/8 - Fox's "So You Think You Can Dance" finale).

In viewers and young adults, "George Lopez" marked its highest-rated season premiere in 3 years - best since its second season premiere on 10/2/02.

Guest star Jack Diamond is a popular radio personality in Washington, D.C., and had been invited onto the show by George Lopez during a radio interview. Diamond was on a plane almost as soon as the invitation was offered.

Trivia (1)

George says that you could dress Benny in a tuxedo and leave her at the North Pole and she could fit in as a penguin and polar bears would not be able to tell her apart. This is wrong because penguins are not found in the North Pole. Penguins are only found in the southern hemisphere.