I’m getting over a cold from this weekend and my stress levels about things like money, survival, and rectal prolapses are starting to get to me. As the greatest food blogger in the world, it is very important for me to consider butt stuff when it comes to food.

Your father considers butt stuff every five minutes. Your mother is currently doing butt stuff right now, and it isn’t with your father.

However, I did notice something pretty terrific: The Pizzle has hit 250,000 pageviews!

Does that actually mean anything? I have no idea. It sounds good, at least. It’s certainly much better than zero views, which I imagined The Pizzlewould get when I started it.

But hey, writing for you guys makes me really happy, and knowing I make a few of you laugh on a regular basis has made it all worth it the effort. The really encouraging emails, Twitter shoutouts (I’m here, by the way), and Paypal donations have made my life so much easier, especially during the hardest times of my life. Of course, then I’ve also gotten to meet a bunch of you in person too (including someone pretty special•), and I’ve never felt more loved.

So after my breather this week, I’ll be back with something horrid next Tuesday. It’ll probably kill me.

Here’s to 250,000 views and maybe 1,000,000 someday, as long as I don’t accidentally off myself in the process.

I used to have a blog, a sort of mommy blog, and I got many, many hits from armpit fetishists because once I posted a photo where my armpit was sort of a showing a bit. I can therefore only shudder deeply to my core at the thought of which fetishists are finding what they need at the pizzle. Jesus fuck.

Matzel tov, Dannis! Even though I just started reading your food blog barely a week ago, I managed to read every single blog post, and witness your blog blossom into what it is today. I hope you keep on making more food much to my enjoyment (and detriment to your health).

just found this blog last night, because reasons. [some very nice, non-anglophone guy in a very pan-asian grocery store asked me earnestly if i knew ‘what part of a cow is this meat’ and i didn’t have the nerve to explain after i read the package label]

anyway, just wanted to say you’re a wonderfully good writer. you’re insane too, of course, but that’s kind of beside the point. i seriously hope everything eventually works out great for you because it should.

Thank you. That is extremely sweet of you to say. I am also a dumpster fire that is going to flare up before it eventually destroys the whole city of Chicago. Thank you for making me feel a little bit better.

Just wanted you to know I love your blog and am missing it very much. Hope you get back to it soon because it made my own food proclivities seem very normal. My mom misses you, too, but at least she’s shitting normally for once since she met you.