"I Thought It Was Arthritis" Claims 79 Year Old Stabbing Victim

A 79 Year old man from Devon is recovering in Hospital after being stabbed several times in the neck, hands and leg by a 72 year old lady.

"I have had arthritis for years" said Arthur Golightly from his bed, "I mentioned it to my friend Anne, and she said alternative medicine might help"
"So next thing, Anne turns up with an 'Acupuncture For Dummies' book. I laid down, and she got to work"

"I felt stabbing pains, a bit worse than usual I must admit" Arthur explained, "And then bam, before I knew it I was in an ambulance and Anne was being carted off by police! I'm sure it's all a terrible misunderstanding"

Anne pleaded her innocence claiming she was unable to find suitable needles as described in the book, so had to make do with what was available...
"It was either the pizza wheel or the ceremonial dagger" she said.