News Archives: view stories
from Year One of the
Club (October 2006 to September 2007), Year Two (October 2007
to September 2008), Year
Three (October 2008 to September 2009), Year Four (October 2009
to September 2010), Year Five (October 2010 to September 2011), Year Six (October 2011 to September 2012), Year Seven (October 2012 to September 2013), Year Eight (October 2013 to September 2014) and Year Nine (October 2014 to September 2015)

To see many splendid
daguerreotypes documenting the Club’s antics, click here.

23rd September 2007

Christmas Party Date
Established

The New Sheridan Club Christmas party will be held on
Saturday 15th December. We have chosen the cellar bar of the Penderel’s
Oak public house on High Holborn in London as the venue, mainly because it
holds more than the Coach and Horses where we had the Last Gasper, our summer
party, which became rather crowded towards the end. The Penderel’s Oak is
actually a Wetherspoon’s pub, which might not sound that promising, but it
actually has a good range of well-kept ales and the downstairs room we have
hired is quite characterful. At the moment we are planning to give the whole
evening a murder mystery theme and there will be the usual cornucopia of
events, entertainments, competitions and, of course, the Grand Raffle. More
details to follow…

Ties Look Set to Materialise

The arrival of the New Sheridan Club ties took a step close
to reality when we realised that the number of people placing a pre-order,
combined with existing club funds, meant that we just about had enough money to
place the order. The ties will be silk and will have equal, broad diagonal
stripes in black, red and silver, with a discrete repeating NSC logo manifesting
itself in the weave of the black stripe. They will sell for a piffling £15 each
(plus a bit for postage if you want me to mail it to you). If you fancy one
(and have not already apprised me of the fact), propel me an email. Needless to say, you
have to be a NSC Member to purchase a tie.

Indian Summer Enthrals All
Comers

The National
Army Museum, which has the wisdom to employ our own Tristan Langlois, had a
special event on the weekend of the 15th and 16th
September celebrating all things Indian, including food, story-telling and much
more. I wasn’t able to make it myself, but Mr Scarheart reports: “A charming
Sikh gentleman was showing the correct way to tie and wear a turban. As
our own Chairman, Mr Torquil Arbuthnot, had a beard it was decided that he
should have the experience of wearing one and 14 feet and nine
inches of cloth later it was complete. Apparently it felt a little tight and
restricted the hearing somewhat but the Sikh fellow said that you get used to
this in time, and all agreed it suited him. Interestingly, if they are starched
heavily they maintain their shape and can be kept like hats, so you can pop one
on if you need to go down the shops and don't want to tie a brand new one
on.” See the daguerrotype below.

To the right you can also see Mr
Arbuthnot standing next to a mannequin of someone who is clearly an ancestor of
his.

Third Film Night a Quiet
Success

For our latest film night on Saturday 15th
September, Maud Peasgood-Nonsuch kindly curated an evening dedicated to the
British silent film industry. We kicked off with a documentary all about the
subject revealing that, once again, several movie-making milestones generally
passed off as American inventions were actually pioneered in Blighty. Then we
saw Piccadilly, a masterpiece of the
genre. We managed to overrun by half an hour, but the staff were good-natured
about it. There were a number of new faces, including American visitor Mr
Russell Scheidelman, who was so impressed by Piccadilly that he later told me he was thinking of showing it
at his private bar. Yes, Mr Scheidelman not only has a bar in his house but he
opens it to others (presumably to select friends rather than the general
public) once a week. Clearly a good fellow to know, though he does live in
Seattle, which would make regular visits awkward for most NSC Members…

13th September 2007

Boatmen Tell All

At September’s Club Night Robert Beckwith and Senior Sub
told us all about their rowing trip last year when they, and Des Esseintes,
re-enacted the voyage described in Jerome K. Jerome’s Three Men in a Boat. We learned all about the barometer which didn’t
work, the chance purchase of a hunting horn which proved invaluable for
attracting the attention of lock keepers and the difficulty of actually fitting
three fully grown gents inside the boat at night (prompting Robert to sleep on
the bank under an umbrella on one occasion and eventually to cheat and stay in
a hotel for one night). I’m hoping to persuade the chaps in question to supply
me with text and magic lantern slides for this website, but we shall see.

Sub (left) and Robert walk us
through a slide of Jerome K. Jerome and his friends, on whom the Three Men
in a Boat characters were based…

…To an appreciative audience.

Meanwhile the Curé gives Michael
Cassidy a piece of his mind and Miss Hartley astonishingly puts up with Andy’s
makeshift neckwear (as supplied by the Club to miscreants who turn up without a
tie—let that be a warning to you all)

And Ensign Polyethyl risks all to
show up in her FANY uniform. Hurrah! That’s Alfred on the left.

10th September 2007

British Tommies to Get a
Taste of Home

The NSC is fervently apolitical organization, but it has
been suggested that, as a club, we might take advantage of the Royal Mail’s
recent decision to drop (for a limited time) its charges on certain parcels
going out to Mesopotamia and Afghanistan, not least in the light of the fact
that we have various ex and serving members of HM Forces in the Membership. So
the Club is going to put together a few of “Comfy Boxes” to send out to Tommy
Atkins in his dugout to remind him of Home.

To this end, the NSC Committee
will be collecting any donations Members might wish to make at the September,
October and November Club Nights to put towards these boxes. The most recent
edition of the Club Newsletter contains details, or you can email Mr Scarheart directly for
more gen.

Waveney Cleanses the Airwaves

In addition to his roles as aspirant parliamentarian and
earnest student type (and Disraeli impersonator), NSC stalwart the Earl of
Waveney has also been spinning the wheels of steel. His weekly show, Say It
With Music, has been airing on Siren, the University of Lincoln’s radio
station, and in it he plays popular music from the 1920s, 30s and 40s as well
as classical music, especially British composers from the same period and
British Light Classics. You’re unlikely to be able to tune your radiogram into
the signal unless you live within 30 miles of the transmitter, but you can also
access the station via the interweb.
He takes the microphone every Sunday at 2pm.

2nd September 2007

FANYs Celebrate 70 Years of
Tough Love

Our own Ensign Polyethyl organised a party on Wednesday 29th
August to celebrate 70 glorious years of the First Aid Nursing Yeomanry (FANY for
short) a bunch of hearty ladies who volunteer to patch up British troops in
times of war. If Polyethyl herself (for whom no wound ever seems to be that serious and the woundee clearly a malingerer) is
anything to go by, they must be an intimidating force. The party had a 1930s
Africa theme so pith helmets were in abundance and one lady even came dressed
as a zebra. The fact that no one shot her is a true testament to the
conviviality of the evening. Thanks for the good Ensign for her sterling work
organising this, toiling behind the bar and knocking up all the grub.

The third annual Tashes cricket match took place on Saturday
18th August—and for the third year running the Clean-Shaven Players
thrashed the Hirsute Gentlemen, though any sane person can deduce that their
failure to win had nothing to do with being either facially hairy or gentlemen.I put the victory down to the splendid
haka performed by the smooth team. The rain held off until we were safely in
the pub at the end of the day, but it was gloomy and rather parky, so we
actually got on with the business of playing cricket rather than just lying
around peeling grapes for each other and getting trolleyed on absinthe. However
the wind was so strong that it not only affected the trajectory of the ball but
also whipped some of the fake moustaches off, so the Hirsute Gentlemen actually
became less hirsute as the day went on.

Still,
it was a good match, and actually quite close. Ability was varied but the
standard was higher than in previous years. A full match report will apparently
appear at some point, but to get a flavour of the thing you can see some
daguerrotypes at the Club’s flickr
page.

The hirsute gentlemen pledge not to
balls it up again this year. It didn’t help. Meanwhile, Fruity puts on a rare
burst of speed.

In the face of ever-darkening
skies, the chaps applaud a toothsome ball

Everyone puts on a rictus for the
official photo

4th August 2007

New Sheridan Barbershop
Quartet Soothes the Savage Beast*

Our Turn at the August Club Night was the mighty barbershop
quartet who were scheduled to perform at the Last Gasper but had to pull out
when the tenor fell ill. So last Wednesday we were treated to five glorious,
and mostly tobacco-related, tunes. It is rare that the bohemian babble of a NSC
knees-up is graced by such dulcet melodies; the room fell silent, save only for
the occasional plop of a monocle dropping into a pint of mild from an eye
widened in rapture; many Members openly wept. Perhaps it was for the best that
the treat was limited to five songs, or else I fear the haunting beauty would
have driven some, overcome by emotion, to open a vein. Many thanks to Captain
Coppice, Dame Fforbes, Miss Hartley and Andy the Tenor.

As
if the day weren’t special enough, we were also graced with the presence of
none other than the Registrar himself of the Sheridan Club Chap Room website, upon whom we formally
bestowed Honorary Membership for his services to Chapdom. For the occasion a
special gilt-edged Membership Card had been crudely constructed. Truly a moving
evening.

*Scarheart,
that is.

The New Sheridan Barbershop
Quartet, proof that the Devil does indeed have all the best tunes

Grinning idiot Hartley (right)
presents the Registrar with his gilt-edged Honorary Membership Card; meanwhile
Scarheart talks rubbish to new members and all is right right with the world

NSC Saves Pimm’s Regatta From
Damp Squid

The Pimm’s Urban Regatta on 26th July was a new
event that surfaced after a Chap spotted it and raised the alert. Although it
was very short notice, the NSC boldly decided to enter—the offer of some free
Pimm’s helped no small amount. The idea is that teams of two or four race in
“boats” that actually have not bottom: you carry them along on foot,
Flintstones-style. We had the choice of building our own craft or borrowing one
of theirs. Cleverly we chose both.

When the day rolled around the rain was heavy so
there were fears (in this Health-and-Safety-obsessed world) that it would be called
off. Fortunately the deluge dried up before kick-off at 6pm and a good group of
NSC Members assembled, some issued with small NSC Naval Jacks to wave. There
was excitement in the air, especially as there was talk of the first prize
being a year’s supply of Pimm’s. With a daily bottles for breakfast, lunch,
dinner and one for bed that would be a lot of grog…

Our craft was a modest bark constructed from two NSC
banners and two flexible tent poles, lashed together by all the string in the
world and suspended on the shoulders of Mr Scarheart and Mr Arbuthnot by
trouser braces. Essentially it was a walking horizontal sandwich board
advertising the Club. In the very first race of the day, HMS New Sheridan was
pitted against two ladies in a canoe who, despite the inclement weather, had
South Sea garlands around their necks. Despite their Lotus-Eater attire, they
displayed an unseemly haste to complete the race (two laps round a rather
undignified obstacle course made out of bales of straw) and easily outstripped
the more decorous pace of the NSC hearties, who drew the line at one lap.
Obviously, the Club had been knobbled, as there is no way that HMS New Sheridan
would even contemplate beating two young ladies. So the craft gently paddled
round the course, doffing hats, smiling at the crowd and exchanging
pleasantries.

Frankly, the Pimm’s PR monkeys had not managed to
raise that many competitors, so a second NSC team was hastily prepared, using
one of the organisers’ boats. But before they had a chance to test their
mettle, the event was called off. It seems that the rain had so waterlogged the
area that (admittedly after a lady had apparently slipped and dislocated a
shoulder) it was considered unsafe. So all we could do was drink more Pimm’s,
pose for the cameras and receive warm handshakes for making the event far more
decorative and fun than it would otherwise have been.

The winners received massive bouquets and everyone got a
litre bottle of Pimm’s.

Team NSC gird their loins to sign
up, then doff their hats for the cameras

HMS Sheridan shows the land lubbers
how it’s done

Missing the race itself due to
namby-pamby safety fears, the NSC B-Team nevertheless maintains its dignity in
the victory parade

Film Night Overcomes
Technical Setbacks

The second NSC Film Night was held on Saturday 21st
of July at the same venue as last time, a gastro pub in Bermondsey called the
Garrison. The main feature was The Party
a strange Peter Sellers vehicle in which he plays a bumbling Indian film extra
who is accidentally invited to a swanky Hollywood party. Very much of its time,
and largely improvised on set, it is low on plot and high on slapstick. It
seems to be a product of an hysterical idea that behind Hollywood doors vast
amounts of debauchery and immorality was festering away (in which Sellers’
character is, of course, naēve but upright).

We were hoping to show some GPO films from the 1930s
before the main feature but the ancient technology of VHS confounded the staff
and eventually we gave up and went straight on the second of our planned films,
the Laurel and Hardy short The Music Box.
You know, the famous one where they’re trying to deliver a piano. Many in the
room were surprised to be reminded just how funny it is.

Following the widespread dissatisfaction with the
canapés last time, in the interval many of us simply dined off the set menu,
which was very good, although this option inevitably meant spending more money!

Congratulations to Captain
Coppice for suggesting The Party. If you
would like to curate an NSC Film Night then please do get in touch.

16th July

2007

Gentleman Amateurism the
Victor in Fourth Chap Olympics

Last Saturday London’s Bedford Square Gardens played host
for a second time to The Chap and Hendrick’s Olympics, jointly organised by The
Chap magazine and Hendrick’s gin. Several hundred spectators flocked to watch
such feats of Chappist élan as the Martini Knockout Relay (in which teams
create a martini cocktail, the winner not being the first to finish but the one
creating the finest drink), Necktie Kwon Do (two warriors locked in combat
armed only with their mastery of tie knots) and Bounders, wherein gents
approach ladies and vie to be the first to get slapped. (From where I was
standing, Atters may not have been the fastest but he made up for it in
quantity, netting several slaps about the chops and knee to the groin for good
measure.)

Sadly there was no Shouting at
Foreigners this year, but there were several new games, such as Curling, where
a perouke is propelled along the course, with teams feverishly grooming the
grass to guide its course. More to the point, Hendrick’s provided each guest
with a goodly quantity of free gin to help get things off with a bang. In fact
Hendrick’s had gone to extraordinary lengths to raise the public profile of the
whole thing, with a series of promotional videos beforehand and swarm of
photographers and film crews present on the day. NSC member Fruity
Hatfield-Peverel was judging and, as the booze flowed, his judgements became
more creative. At one point he was threatening to declare himself the overall
winner, but clearly he was dissuaded—I think Frisax won this year’s Gold Cravat
of the Victor Ludorum.

You can see some photos from the
event here.
In addition, Getty
have some snaps too (you have to type “Chap Olympiad” into the search box) and
there are some nice ones here too.

The Earl of Waveney delivered an informative and strangely
moving elegy to trams everywhere, and the London tram system in particular, at
last night’s monthly Club Night. From early horse-drawn ones, to steam trams,
internal combustion jobs up to electric ones, plus trolley buses too, we were
treated to all kinds of detail and a wealth of illustrations. Sadly his short
film on the bygone tram system was rendered even shorter when the DVD drive
went doolally.

We
were also treated to an enormous bundle of Imperial Telegrams luggage
tags—proper brown card and string jobs, each complete with a genuine vintage
stamp. (Of course, given that they all had the Imperial Telegrams website
stamped on the other side, if you were foolish enough to put them on your
luggage and then lost said luggage, it would presumably be delivered to them
rather than to you.)

I
was also rather touched to be presented with a set of handsome cufflinks in
recognition of the work I did organising the Last Gasper—honestly, chaps, it’s
all part of the job. Many thanks to all who were in on this!

Of
course, we rather missed a trick with this Club Night. Given the date on which
it took place, we should really have issued all comers with a black armband
upon arrival, to mark the loss of our American Colonies…

The Earl of Waveney speaks out… and
Miss Minna discusses the price of eggs with Mrs Palmer-Lewis

Horatio models one of the Imperial
Telegrams luggage tags

2nd July

2007

Last Gasper Leaves Them
Breathless

On Saturday night the NSC held its
summer party. To mark the fact that it was the last night before the ban on
smoking in public places came into force, the evening was dedicated to tobacco
in all its guises. By any measure it was a riotous success: the venue had double
the capacity of our last party, in December, yet at the event’s peak it was
still full. Eleven new Members joined up during the course of events, and we
confidently trust that they will (a) remember and (b) still feel that it was a
good idea.

By
now I’m sure you all know what was on offer—if not, scroll down to some of the
promotional paragraphs logged on this page. Everything seemed to be much
appreciated—all 24 tins of snuff at the Snuff Bar were broached (and all but
six were pilfered at the evening’s end!) The Trumper’s products in the
bathrooms went down very well indeed. I shall endeavour to make this a regular
feature of future parties. The Shisha Corner kept busy all evening, despite an
early technical hiccup when the pipe fell over, sending burning charcoal all
over the place. All the competitions were entered into with gusto by the
guests, leading up to a mood of palpable tension as the Grand Raffle took
place.

I’d
like to extend a warm and hearty thank you to all our performers—Niall Spooner-Harvey,
David Saxby and the New Sheridan Barbershop Quartet (who sadly had to perform
as a trio owing to the tenor’s coming down with shingles)—and also to our
landlord, Giles Webster, whose complete enthusiasm for the event was one of the
main reasons we chose the venue. His final contribution, among many, was to
suggest another competition—to guess the weight of all the ashtray contents for
the evening. I haven’t heard back from him yet, but there is a box of cigars
(kindly donated by Captain Coppice) awaiting the guesser who came closest.

In
addition to the few photos here, you can see many more at the Club’s account at
Flickr.com here.

Winner of the Best Pipe prize and
the “Pin the Cigar on Winston Churchill” competition

Measuring girth in the Smoke-Ring
Blowing Competition

7th June

2007

Satan Revealed in All His
Glory

At last night’s Club Night Lord Rupert (he of the flaming antlers) told us all about Satanism, a religion he
has followed since he was a small boy. He was at pains to stress that there was
no virgin-sacrificing involved and it was mostly about free will. We were also
intrigued to hear just how many interesting demons there are upon whom one may
call for help, though sadly none was summoned on this occasion (and indeed
Rupert revealed that he has never actually felt the need to try and petition
one). However, we were all given name stickers identifying ourselves as demonic
ministers, priests and other infernal stormtroopers of one sort or another. I
seem to recall I was a Commander of the Order of the Fly, which sounds pretty
cool and I shall be putting it on my business cards from now on. Anyway, the
room had been gaily decorated with Satanic glyphs and sigils, and I rather
expected to find, as we left the pub, that it had been transported to some
Lovecraftian alien moonscape. But it had not.

In
addition to Satanic revelry we were able to celebrate the 246th
birthday or our glorious leader Mr Arbuthnot (all beings make merry on pain of
death!) with a cake supplied by Miss Minna. Mr Nathaniel Slipper made a rare
appearance, three new members joined up and a good time was had by all.

Most of the pieces are now in place for The Last Gasper, our
summer party on Saturday 30th June. Hundreds of flyers are being distributed,
mainly in vintage clothing shops and mostly in London. To have a look at the
flyer, click on the images below. If you can think of somewhere really cunning
to station some, please let us know.

However,
attractions continue to be added since the flyers were printed—our own Niall
Spooner-Harvey has agreed to pen and declaim a specially commissioned ode for
the evening, and further raffle prizes have been added, including a book on
fine cigars and more vintage smoking paraphernalia. A consignment of German
Rauchbier smoked beer should be on hand, plus a variety of cigars and
cigarettes on sale for the evening. There is also a possible alcohol
sponsorship in the offing…

As
mentioned before, if you’d like to dine with us (and I recommend that you do)
please email me so that the chef has an idea of numbers.

14th May

2007

South London Pubs Touched by
Foppish Grace

On Saturday afternoon a number of public houses in the
Bermondsey area were privileged to be attended by a squadron of NSC hearties.
Mr Ian White organised a splendid pub crawl—the beer was fine, the hostelries
welcoming and the locals slack-jawed at our arrival. Many NSC calling cards
were dispensed to curious enquirers; one gentleman was so taken by our élan
that he bought the whole company a drink—thanks, Barry! (I think Barry’s wife
was somewhat less convinced and wouldn’t accept that anyone would dress that
way out of general choice, rather than as some trick or stunt…) A big thank-you
to Mr White!

In the presence of so many
umbrellas, Mr Horatio Scotney-Le Cheyne is overcome by a transcendent sense of
grace

8th May

2007

Punting Team Probe Man’s
Heart of Darkness

A couple of weeks ago a NSC
picnic party punted nervously up Oxford’s great grey-green greasy Cherwell.
They needn’t have been nervous as, for the third year in a row, it
astonishingly failed to rain on us. Mind you, the river was strangely clogged with
detritus and at points it seemed we could venture no further, leaving us to
contemplate a Fitzcarraldo-style cross-country punt-hauling wheeze. Fortunately
we hacked our way through the undergrowth and made it to the Happy Punting
Grounds where we moored and picnicked heartily. The heartiness was greatly
aided by Viscount Rushen’s enormous bottle of champagne.

Rupert in his element (i.e. with a glass of absinthe) and
Waveney practising his moves for that post-election celebration. (Sadly not to
be, as it turned out, though I believe he received more votes than any other
Conservative.)

Finally reaching the Elysian
Fields, the party chow down

4th May

2007

Camouflage Explained and
Lainie Toasted

We were privileged at the May Club Night on two
accounts—first we were lucky enough to have an illustrated address from Mr Tim
Newark on the history of camouflage. Mr Newark is the author of many books on
the subject, including the one to accompany the exhibition currently on show at
the Imperial War Museum. He took us from the very beginnings of camouflage (on
which point I am pleased to say he disagrees violently with the curator of the
exhibition) up to recent intrigues, such as the fact that the “chocolate chip”
pattern that was so unpopular with US troops in the first Gulf War was not
actually abandoned as thought: the thousands of uniforms were in fact stored
until the current Iraq conflict, at which point they were given to the new
Iraqi army.

Our
second privilege was to be able to raise a toast to Ms Lainie Petersen, who has
just finished her degree. Ms Petersen was not present, living as she does in
Chicago, but she had kindly wired through funds to buy everyone in the room a
glass of port, hence the extreme glee on all our faces:

Here’s to Ms Lainie Petersen and
her newly acquired qualifications!

Signing the Register with the
ancestral dip pen causes just the right amount of chaos

Dancing breaks out… and, yes, Erik really
is wearing shorts.

24th April

2007

Pope Compensates for
Bureaucratic Balls-Up

Mr Torquil Arbuthnot writes: The April meeting of the Club took place in the Wheatsheaf as usual.
However, due to a double booking, we were relegated to the downstairs bar, where
our attire and banter attracted many respectful enquiries from those propping
up the bar. The affable landlord also treated members to a free initial drink,
thereby more than atoning for his mistake with the booking. Ms Evadne Raccat
gave a thoroughly enthralling talk on portrait images of Mr Alexander Pope
(author of such poetical works as ‘The Dunciad’ and ‘The Rape of the Lock’),
lavishly illustrated with many excellent magic lantern slides. A hearty clap on
the back to Ms Raccat for her talk.

England’s Patron Saint Still
Revered in Southwark

Mr Torquil Arbuthnot writes: Mr Tristan Langlois decided to revive a tradition from his past, when
every year he held a party at the George Inn on Borough High Street to
celebrate St George’s Day. He explained to revellers: “My Saint George’s Day
Hop was very much in keeping with the theme, a Dickensian revelry with songs,
dancing, turns, recitations, skits, mumming, morris dancing, pipes smoked and
pewter tankards raised to old Saint G. This year, with a bit of luck, we’ll
reach the same heady heights of Victorian bacchanalia.” And indeed thirty or so
stout English yeomen and yeowomen turned up at the George and quaffed many a
foaming pint of English ale. Mr Langlois kicked off the revels by reciting an
eighteenth century poem about St George slaying the dragon. Then Mrs Samantha
Langlois produced a piĖata* in the shape of a dragon, and hung it from the
inn’s balcony. Revellers were then blindfolded and allowed three thwacks at the
piĖata with a wooden sword. Artemis Scarheart and Torquil Arbuthnot
administered telling blows, but it was Mr Robert Beckwith, his Crusader blood
coursing through his veins, who stepped up and sabred off the dragon’s head
with a mighty swipe. Afterwards someone recited Shakespeare’s stirring Henry V
speech on the eve of Agincourt, and two ladies sang louche Scottish ditties.
Throughout the evening those gathered would break into stirring songs such as
‘Come Landlord Fill the Flowing Bowl’, ‘Spanish Ladies’, ‘Rule, Britannia’,
Jerusalem’, and ‘O’er the Hills and Far Away’.

*The piĖata is a
papier-maché container, usually in the shape of an animal or person, suspended
on a rope from a tree branch or ceiling that is filled with sweets and toys and
is used during celebrations. A succession of blindfolded, stick-wielding
children will try to break the piĖata in order to collect the goodies inside of
it. It originates in Mexico and is believed to be Aztec in origin.

The throng croaks out some patriotic dirges

The lovingly-crafted piĖata dragon,
before NSC Members helpfully smashed it to pieces

17th April 2007

Athletes Required for Olympic
Promotion

Mr Gustav Temple, illustrious editor of The Chap has sent out a “call to charms”, inviting amateur
gamesmen to help promote the highlight of year’s sporting calendar. “What with
the Olympiad being held on Saturday 14th July,” he explains,
“Hendrick’s, the sponsors, are beginning to flex their marketing muscles. To
this end, they want to make a short film to be circulated in dark rooms around
the country. Required are six ‘athletes’ to prance about in a gymnasium. Not
sure whether there'll be a proper fee or just expenses yet.” Willing souls can
contact Mr Temple at olympics@thechap.net.

13th April 2007

The Last Gasper Begins to
Take Shape

Plans are under way for the Club’s summer party, dubbed The
Last Gasper as it will be marking the last day before the introduction of the
ban on smoking in public places. Mark the date of Saturday 30th June
in your diaries if you have not already done so. See the Events
page for details as they unfold, but we are taking over a nice Victorian pub in
Clerkenwell and cramming the evening with tobacco-related events, competitions
and freebies. There will also be an Edwardian period dinner menu for those who
wish to dine—the pub has an award-winning chef.

10th April 2007

Sun God Smiles on First
Picnic of the Season

Last Sunday a marvellous picnic was enjoyed by ten or so
Members in London’s Hyde Park. It was jolly sunny and a good time was had by
all.It was interesting to
discover that out of this small group three Members could juggle. I only really
mention this as an excuse to include these pictures…

Miss Hartley writes:
One of the (many) benefits of being a member of the New Sheridan Club is that
if one has the misfortune to live abroad, on the happy occasion of visiting
Blighty, one will be treated as a guest of honour. We were lucky to have our
first ever Overseas Guest of Honour on Friday 23rd March, in the
shape of Sir James M. III. Of course we made it a challenge for him by
arranging to meet at the New Piccadilly Café, which is hard even for a Londoner
to find. However, after rescuing him from the middle of Piccadilly
Circus a welcoming committee of ten chaps and chapettes joined him for a slap
up meal. I believe that Sir James was most impressed at being able to
enjoy a cigarette in the café while waiting for one’s ham, egg and chips.
Sadly we had to point out that this happy state of affairs wouldn’t last for
long. After dinner we grabbed a couple of hackney carriages and whisked
Sir James off to the Dover Castle (it would have been too cruel to expect him
to find his way there as well) where we were joined by several more chaps and a
convivial evening was had by all. We then escorted Sir James back to the
London Underground and pointed him in the vague direction of Earls Court. (This
is where his hotel was located—we weren’t just doing it as a prank). Sir
James continues to reside in London for the week while seeking an apprenticeship
with a tailor and we hope to meet up with him again before he heads back to the
“Windy City”.

12th March 2007

Earl Puts Fascists in the
Picture

At last Wednesday’s Club Night the Earl of Essex presented a
fascinating rogues’ gallery of British Fascists from the 1930s. The magic
lantern show even had the barman rapt, standing on tiptoe to see it. At least I
hope he was enjoying it and not merely taking notes to pass on to the
authorities—I couldn’t help noticing that the projector screen depicting images
of Hitler and Moseley, flanked as it was by our splendid NSC banners (in black,
white and red), might have given the casual passer-by the wrong idea… Anyway,
it was a highly engaging talk and a most convivial meeting, with several new
faces present whom I hope we will see again.

Gentleman Adventurer Seeks
Help

Our own Actuarius is once again entering the charity road
race The Scumball Rally in his turbo-charged banger Banshee. The race takes
place in Europe, of all places, and the drivers depart Blighty from Dover on
Friday 20th April, with the race finishing somewhere on the
Continent on the Sunday. Last year his navigator was our very own Treasurer Mr
Artemis Scarheart. However, this year Scarheart has savagely betrayed his
team-mate to enter the race with another driver. We’re all very proud of him.
Instead, that absolute brick Miss Chrissy Goodrick-Meech has agreed to help
Actuarius out in the navigator’s seat. The race raises money for the charity Winston’s Wish and each team needs
to cobble together a monkey. (Not literally a monkey, obviously. That would be
silly. I meant a “monkey” as in £500, as all us Cockneys know.) If you’d like
to sponsor them, go to this
website here. (If you can’t now get the idea of monkeys out of your head,
have a look here.) For
more on the race, see here.

Actuarius (left) with last year’s navigator, the turncoat
Scarheart

4th March 2007

Lunar Eclipse Prompts
Bacchanalian Revelry

Robert Beckwith (whom you might know better as Edwin
Fischer-Price) organised a splendid day of frolics on Saturday. We took in a
modernist architectural masterpiece in the afternoon, strolled around the heath
working out how to skirt the mud pools without soiling our brogues and in the
evening crawled around various fine pubs in Hampstead (well, fine apart from
the one where they wouldn’t allow pipe or cigar smoking). Robert even managed
to lay on an eclipse of the moon. Under its blood-red watchful eye we quaffed
ale and sucked on pipe stems. I even had my likeness taken by a charming (OK,
drunk) young Frenchwoman who then presented me with the finished drawing. In
fact many locals were much curious about us, to the extent that we ran out of
NSC calling cards. These snaps should give you a flavour of the day:

The sweet fumes of Erik’s pipe help him deal with the horror
of Chuckles’ clothes

I don’t even know where the pineapple came from but Viscount
Rushen is happy

1st March 2007

Members to Be Immortalised in
Oils

Well, in pixels, anyway. Following our announcement about
the new Portrait Service (see News item for 9th February below) we
have had our first three takers (actually, Laurence did his own), so I’ve added
a Portraits page to this site where we can display the results.

18th February 2007

Moving Pictures May Catch
On—Official

Last night the Club put on a magic lantern show for 30 Members
lucky enough to get places. It was an experiment in holding a Club Film Night
and I think it went pretty well. The venue was a smallish downstairs room in a
gastropub in Bermondsey, equipped with a video projector and big screen. We
watched A Matter of Life and Death and School
for Scoundrels on DVD, each given an
excellent and informative introduction by our Chairman, Mr Arbuthnot, and, as
an unexpected bonus, Fruity Metcalfe-Peverel brought along a rousing wartime
information film, exhorting young ladies to Do Their Bit by enlisting to make
Spitfires. I was surprised to see any lady Members still left in the room by
the end of it, not dashing off to knock up a kite out of old tobacco tins and
used nylons.

The
catering arrangements left a bit to be desired­—the quantities were
niggardly and some Members managed to eat scarcely a few morsels before it was
all gone. We shall have to make alternative victual arrangements next time.

An
idea for future film nights might be to offer curatorship, as it were, to
individual Members, who perhaps felt they had films to offer that were
neglected classics or particularly suitable for this Club. If you have any
suggestions, please email me at the usual place, mrhartley@newsheridanclub.co.uk.

9th February 2007

Glorious New Benefits of
Membership

Please note that there are now two new good reasons to be a
Member of the New Sheridan Club. First of all, in addition to being issued with
your fetching lapel badge, you are now able to purchase additional/replacement
badges for the paltry sum of £3. These are still only available to full
Members, of course. Moreover, please note that Members are requested not to buy
them to give to non-Members—but I’m sure no Member of the club needs to be told
that.

Secondly,
in keeping with our demiurge-like status, the Committee commissioned handsome
portraits of ourselves, which you can view on the Contacts
page. (Don’t worry this didn’t actually cost any of our precious Club funds.)
Rather pleased with the result—and now that we have experience of actually
doing it—we’ve decided to offer a Portrait Service to Members, free of charge.
As you can see, the idea was to find a suitable painting that somehow
represented how we saw ourselves, or would like to be seen, then to photograph
the subject in a similar pose and finally to interpolate it into the original
painting, using Science. If you fancy a similar portrait of yourself, then
ideally find a painting or photograph into which you would like your likeness
to be syringed. As long as we can get hold of a reasonably high-resolution copy
of the source image then we can do the rest. And if you can’t quite think of
the right picture to start with, then have a chat with the Committee and
perhaps we can suggest something.

Club Night Graced by Spirit
of Calliope

On the Club Night of 7th February our Turn was
the effervescent Niall Spooner-Harvey who bathed our souls in sweet poetry,
such as his evergreen classic, All My Cats Are Dead. Mr Spooner-Harvey’s poetry performances have earned
him countless awards and many enemies.

Inspired
by the readings, we decided to hold an impromptu “limerick slam”, with the victor
ludorum receiving a tin of Wilson’s of
Sharrow “Queen’s Extra Strong” snuff. It went, perhaps appropriately, to Padre
Ian McDowell who, for a man of the cloth, knows a impressive number of
extraordinarily filthy limericks.

Armed with his newly-won snuff, the Padre sets about
corrupting the youth

16th January 2007

Membership Page Updated

I’ve made a few additions to the Membership
page. Apart from a rather fetching photograph of the Member’s lapel badge,
there are a couple of notes near the end. One is at the behest of our esteemed
Treasurer, who also edits the monthly newsletter and asks that I encourage
members to contribute to this. If you have any articles, poems, political
tracts, philosophical questions, etc, please direct them to mrscarheart@newsheridanclub.co.uk.

We
also decided drunkenly the other day that it would be nice to make it an
official policy that if Members unfortunate enough to dwell overseas should
happen actually to visit England, then the Club should treat them as guests of
honour, carrying them around on our shoulders to the peal of hearty huzzahs,
insisting they marry our daughters, that sort of thing. It may never happen,
but here’s hoping.

14th January 2007

Vintage Fashion Fair Offers
Hope to Ladies

Your correspondent happened to amble by the London Vintage
Fashion, Textiles and Accessories Fair in Hammersmith Town Hall today, so I
thought I’d let you know what it was like. The thing started at 8am and I note
that tickets were £10 before 10am, dropping to £5 thereafter until the fair
ended at 5pm. I assume that had I stirred my bones and left the house before
lunchtime I would have found that the early part of the day was full of dealers
snapping up bargains from provincial traders before selling them on to punters
in Camden Passage and Portobello Road for ten times as much. But this is
speculation. By 2.30pm when I arrived it was not crowded yet there seemed to be
a very great deal of stock on offer.

The vast majority of it is for
Ladies (though I still managed to buy two pairs of cufflinks and a tie and
found the prices very reasonable), which must be a boon to all those females
who despair of Old Hat and the like for ladies’ clobber. Plenty of shoes, hats
and handbags were on offer, vast amounts of trinketry, compacts and
accessories, and also a great deal of buttons, beads, trimmings, folderols and
furbelows for those in the habit of stitching their own clothing. Lots of lace
too. And if you’re in the market for a fur stole or coat you’ll find many such
items here. I didn’t inspect the price tags, though I noticed one stall with a
sign indicating that all their fur stoles were going for £12 that day.

I think the oldest item I spotted
was from the 1830s, while other traders offered artefacts dating from as late
as the 1980s, which seems like yesterday to me but I guess must hold some
romance and mystery for youngsters in their teens and early twenties…

13th January 2007

Administrative Matters

Could any member not in possession of a copy of the Club
Regulations please email me (mrhartley@newsheridanclub.co.uk).
I’ve just manufactured some more and, by my reckoning, there must be at least
ten members who don’t have a copy. Be aware that any member can be stopped in
the corridor at any time and quizzed by the Committee on any aspect of the
rules, so you would do well to study them hard. (Failure to come up with a
satisfactory answer will result in punishment—you’ll have to walk ten times
round the Club wearing an ill-fitting polyester suit, swigging from a bottle of
“WKD”.)

On
another matter, if member Lord Flasheart happens to read this, can he please
email me with a correct email address. The one in the Club ledger doesn’t seem
to work.

10thJanuary 2007

Stonebarrow CD—Orders Now
Being Taken

As some of you will remember (or may have heard) most of our
time at Stonebarrow was spent with an aural backdrop of gramophone records, most
of which had been brought along by Fruity. Well, now you can relive the glamour
(yes, I’m thinking of Waveney throwing up into the fireplace) with a limited
edition1 compact disc, recorded from the very same gramophone
records, complete with pops and crackles (though mercifully without the foghorn
sound of Fruity’s record player feeding back). All your favourites are there,
including The Music Goes Round and Round,
The Man on the Flying Trapeze and
I Love Bananas (Because They Have No Bones). Moreover, whereas at Stonebarrow you were mostly
subjected to the same few tunes over and over again, this compilation contains
no fewer than 28 tracks (almost and hour and twenty minutes of toe-tapping
boogaloo), including a rare and precious field recording of our own Niall
Spooner-Harvey singing his specially commissioned number, The
Sheridan Christmas House, with the rest of
us croaking along on the chorus. Not a pristine, hi-fi recording, but frankly
that’s how it sounded at the time.

If you’d like to own one of these
Heirloom CertifiedTM compact discs, then email me at mrhartley@newsheridanclub.co.uk
so I know how many to manufacture. I’m afraid there’ll be a charge of £3 per
disc to cover manufacturing costs, postage, cigars and the like, with any
excess going towards club funds2. You can either post me a cheque,
transfer funds direct if you bank online or press some grubby coins into my
hands the next time our paths cross.

1
Limited to how many I can flog.

2
Specifically the NSC Committee Members’ Portrait Fund.

9thJanuary 2007

Miss Peasgood-Nonsuch to
Cross the Andes By Frog!*

One of our number is setting off to trek across the Andes
on the 22nd, to raise money for the Prince’s Trust. “It may sound like
some kind of exciting adventure holiday,” she admonishes sternly, “but believe
me, it isn't. It's what they call a ‘challenge event’; its going to be cold, I
will ache all over, the food will be awful and I'm going to get altitude
sickness.” That’s the spirit, old girl!

The
team will be making their epic journey on a caravan of specially-trained frogs
bred in a secret underground laboratory beneath the Prince’s Highgrove estate.
It will be the first time anyone has attempted to cross the mountain range
riding an amphibian.*

Perhaps
you’d like to contribute to Maud’s sponsorship? As she has met all her travel
expenses already herself, all donations will go directly towards The Trust's
work with disadvantaged young people, helping them overcome barriers to work,
education and training. You can donate online at
http://www.justgiving.com/hollyadavies. It’s a jolly good cause!

More
importantly, we’ll be sending her on her way with a hangover, as we’re planning
a boozy send-off on Friday 19th January. See the Events page.

(*Sorry,
not frogs. Horses, apparently.)

3rd January 2007

Conte Proves to Have Fine Set
of Pipes

The Conte di Lignano Sabbiadoro serenaded us all with some
Mozart arias at the January NSC Club Night, much to the delight of all present.
Alas, since the club Steinway has had to be pawned to bail Scarheart out of
clink yet again, the Conte’s
limber-fingered accompanist had to make do with an electrical simulacrum, but
it all went swimmingly. Looked a bit like this:

28th December 2006

Stonebarrow Manor Still
Stands

The imposing Stonebarrow Manor has resisted the predations
of 23 Chaps and Chapesses for six whole days. Despite the grouchy landlord’s
implausible insistence that we had used five months’ worth of Calor gas for the
cooker in the few days we were there, the house itself shrugged off our
infestation robustly. In fact the whole of Charmouth, the charming Dorset
seaside town where the manor is located, proved impervious to our presence. The
county bridge, with its ancient sign claiming that anyone damaging it would be
punished by “transportation for life”, was naturally a red rag to a bull and
every evening after dinner the gents would saunter down to the bridge in
evening wear and give the bridge a good kick. Even Viscount Rushen swinging
maniacally on the sign for Stonebarrow Lane could cause it no harm. The locals
seemed amiably curious about us (not a pitchfork in sight, even when a squadron
of men in top hats invaded the pub), but then I suppose we boosted the economy
for the time we were there.

So
what did we do for six days? Mostly we ate, drank, smoked, stared into the
roaring log fire and listened to the same gramophone records interminably. We
were divided into catering teams (each named after a Wonder of the Ancient
World) each of which applied itself wholeheartedly for a day, ensuring a high
standard of grub. There was a certain amount of horse riding (once we had
managed to locate the stables—one group famously managed to wander for over an
hour, mostly across country, trying to find the bally nags) and ambling along
the stony beach looking for fossils. And of course one day was designated as
“Christmas Day”, with roast turkey and all the trimmings, plus stockings,
“secret Santa” present-giving and all the associated bonhomie. A topping time.
I have a feeling plans are already being made for next year…

There
are a few snaps here, or, for a more thorough
bombardment, go to www.flickr.com and have a peak at the Sheridan Photo Stream
where there are a couple of sets of images.

10th December 2006

The Beau Brummell Boogie
Takes World By Storm

On Saturday 9th December, the NSC’s Christmas
party took place at the RamPage public house in Great Queen Street in London.
It was so well attended that the venue could not have comfortably held any more
people—we shall have to find a bigger place next time! A great time was had by
all; there were many new faces along with some very welcome familiar ones. We
on the Committee would like to thank you all for your support for our fledgling
club.

The
day began at the India Club, a strangely charming slum on the Strand where we quaffed
beer and scoffed curry. In the afternoon the Committee’s own Torquil Arbuthnot
took us on an excellent guided tour of the haunts of Beau Brummell, on which we
learned a great deal about the glamorous life and miserable death of the man
immortalised in bronze at the end of Piccadilly Arcade.

After
an impromptu pint at the Grapes in Shepherd Market we hurried on to the New
Piccadilly Café for a slap-up supper before bowling on to the RamPage. For some
snaps of the day, see here.

At
10.30 we had the Grand Raffle, where over £500 worth of goodies were
distributed. A special “thank you” goes to the companies who supplied the
prizes: Blackstone Lewis Tailoring, the Vintage Shirt Company, eAbsinthe.com
and Trumper’s. You can learn more about these stirling organisations on our
Links page.

8th December 2006

Badges Arrive!

The spiffing New Sheridan Club enamel lapel badges are now
with us from the manufacturer. And very handsome they look too. On its first
outing at Wednesday’s NSC Club Night, my own badge was immediately admired by
the antipodean barmaid—who asked if she could buy one. Needless to say, they
are not for sale; ownership is a privilege exclusive to members. All members
who make it to the Beau Brummell Boogie on Saturday will be issued with their
badge then, along with their NSC calling cards.

Third Club Night a Roaring
Success

On Wednesday 6th December we met once more in the
charmingly panelled upstairs room of the Wheatsheaf public house. There was a
good turn-out of thirty or so, including a number of new faces, and Comtesse
Besson—appropriately attired herself—treated us to a splendid talk on the
details and origins of the strange outfits worn by English barristers.