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Very bitter monkey

Meanwhile on Skype:
From time to time (sometimes several times a day) I get fake people, often pretending to be U.S. military contacting on Skype. It's a well known confidence scam where these scumbags try to get women to cyber-date them and eventually send them money. I usually just ignore / block them, but sometimes I play along, well, sort-of.

Col Kelvin Adams has sent you a contact request.
Danielle Hallett: Hi, who is this please?
Col Kelvin Adams: you are welcom
Danielle Hallett: Here we go... do we know each other?
Col Kelvin Adams: My name is Doctor Kelvin Adams, an American, currently working under peace keeping mission hospital in Syria, it is a pleasure meeting you
Danielle Hallett: Oh I bet...
Danielle Hallett: Why does Skype say you're in Nigeria?
Danielle Hallett: And why does your name say Colonel?
Danielle Hallett: Are you a doctor or a colonel?
Col Kelvin Adams: both
Danielle Hallett: Names are not like Pokemon, you haven't 'gotta catch 'em all'
Danielle Hallett: So, what are you doing in Nigeria?
Danielle Hallett: Why is your Skype user name williamjohns44?
Col Kelvin Adams: i am not in Nigeria
Col Kelvin Adams: i am in Syria
Danielle Hallett: Then why does Skype say you're in a Nigerian cyber cafe?
Col Kelvin Adams: i am in west Africa not Nigeria
Col Kelvin Adams: wat you are try trik me
Col Kelvin Adams: fuck your pussy there
Danielle Hallett: Oh... well this is awkward.
Col Kelvin Adams: go away with your bitter pussy
Danielle Hallett: So, about that...
Col Kelvin Adams: your pussy is very bitter monkey
Danielle Hallett: Yeah, you really don't know me do you?
Col Kelvin Adams: if i met you there i will fuck you with my big kong cock to death
Danielle Hallett: A what now?
Danielle Hallett: Ok, lets do the name calling thing then.
Danielle Hallett: So the pictures on the internet show that your cock is shaped like a carrot and your feet smell like stale hummus.
Danielle Hallett: I'm not very good at the 'random insult game' to be honest.
Col Kelvin Adams: hahahahahahahaahahhahaahahahaahhahahahaha
Danielle Hallett: Yes, laugh it up, how do you like them apples?
Col Kelvin Adams: are you sure
Danielle Hallett: What?
Col Kelvin Adams: fuck your ass pussy
Danielle Hallett: Getting warmer...
Danielle Hallett: I digress, while we have been having this delightful conversation I have been hacking into your computer.
Danielle Hallett: I'm looking at you via your webcam right now
Col Kelvin Adams: what you mean
Danielle Hallett: Ask that guy behind you if you can borrow his hat
Col Kelvin Adams: what fuck you fuck off my computer bitch hacker
Danielle Hallett: You're welcome x