Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post. This is a series of posts that appear at this time every Tuesday, and it looks like our fans are enjoying this feature, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous, snarky, or thought provoking caption that is some how tied in with the image. We have been getting a lot of participation, but last week, not so much… Why not join in this week (it’s a really good time!)

Last week, we had an image of three couples admiring a Hudson, and the comments were both interesting as well as very funny. Friend of Hooniverse, and Atomic Toasters author engineerd opined: “Hudson finally struck marketing gold once they realized their prime demographic included middle-aged heterosexual couples, dirty old men, and young lesbians.” Good One engineerd.

However, the winner this time is our pal Devin (again!) with this witty one liner: “Hudson: America’s Subaru.”

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks illustration. This is an advertising image for the 1974 Chevrolet Chevelle Laguna Type S-3 with what looks like a good looking young couple exiting (or entering) the dashing Red and White coupe, with a class full of Catholic School Girls looking on. You really have to wonder what goes through the mind of the people who approve these images for use in print advertisements. It was a different time, and quite possibly a different planet, but here is the image for the world to see. What do you think these girls were looking at? My guess is that it wasn’t the car. And what do you think the “Mad Men” of the 70s were thinking when using this image to sell a car? Please keep it civil… (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate entries, and after looking through old photographs of our time in Elementary School, we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this rather unusual image.

The Laguna Type S-3 is sturdily constructed with plastic wheels, and powered by two 12V batteries for a top speed of 10 mph in forward or reverse. Looks and sounds* like a real car, perfect for the young adult yearning for the open roads of the housing tract.

*With optional 8-bit TireTearin' Exhaust Speaker

PotbellyJoe

Any girl at the St. Elizabeth's all girls orphanage will tell you, 1st marriages are for money, 2nd marriages are for love. Here comes their headmistress now with her first husband and the car they drive to "that part of town."

For the record, this is a FFVIII reference, referring to a character named Laguna, and I recognize that a reference to a decade old videogame is perhaps going a bit obscure but I did it anyway! And now it's definitely not funny because I explained the joke.

Mrs. Jones entire 8th grade class was later subpoenaed to be witnesses for the prosecution at the trial. Several have had to undergo therapy after seeing crime scene photos of the woman in the green dress. Luckily the Laguna S-3 was a somewhat rare car even in 1974.

POLAЯ

Hutch saves his car for after work.

boostedlegowgn

The Chevy Laguna Type S-3. Its 0 to 60 time isn't very good, but you'll get 5 to 10 in a blink.

Alcology

The new Laguna Type S-3 will still be allowed near a school even when you aren't.

Chelsea: "I heard he could only afford the 350 because he's paying child support…"
Grace: "I heard she's the former nanny…"
Theresa: "I heard he's hung like an orca…"
Sister Madeline, off camera: "GIRLS! OFF THE FENCE! How many times do I have to tell you to leave my daught…uh, friend Ms. Coburn and her companion alone?!"

Smells_Homeless

The exclusive Chevrolet Laguna S-3 Roman Polanski Signature Edition!

gearhead

All the girls wanted to see her new nose job.

boxdin

Trade in the "free candy van".
This ad really is about perverts in vans..