Celebrity Scrapheap Challenge to Rebuild Celebreties

Channel four have announced a series of “Celebrity Scrapheap Challenge” shows in which two teams of PR experts, plastic surgeons, and makeup artists will be let loose on “The scrap yard of broken dreams” in an attempt to make a working celebrity from the shattered egos of former ‘B’ and ‘C’ list celebrities. “Scrapheap Challenge”, popular with schoolboys and Dads throughout the UK, features two teams of engineers who compete to build a machine from scrap parts.

The show has been in development for some time, after an ambitious earlier attempt to rebuild a working Michael Jackson in a pilot show ended in spectacular failure due to attempts to hold him together with massive doses of prescription drugs. The resulting DVD of the attempt, plus the CD and download sales of his music, were proof enough for TV executives to believe that they were onto something and saved the project from cancellation.

“It’s been a hard slog,” said a representative of the production company “but we feel that by starting out with a ‘C’ list scrapheap of former Big Brother contestants who crashed and burned and discarded X-Factor finalists that we can build the format into a global brand. In these times of recession, mend and make-do plus recycling will hit a real chord with our key sales demographic. The message is that the product might be rubbish, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t shift a few units before they fall apart again”.

If the first series goes well then the producers hope to put out a Christmas special in which they make a fully functioning ‘A’ list footballer from the remains of Ryan Giggs, Andy Cole and Wayne Rooney.

Plans for a US version of the show have seen a partially successful attempt to make a rudimentary Britney Spears from parts found in a trailer park, although their attempts to make a credible Republican Presidential candidate have so far met with failure