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Friday, April 2, 2010

Twitchy Butt Syndrome

Last night I was feeling really optimistic about getting a good night of sleep. I did all of the right things before bedtime: took a nice, warm bubble bath, drank a cup of chamomile tea, read a little bit of my book...you know, all of those little relaxation techniques that doctors and such recommend to help improve the quality of your sleep. So by the time I hit my pillow at 10:00, I was thinking, "This is it! This is going to be the night that I actually get eight hours!"

But at about 10:15, my right butt cheek began twitching. I don't know how to describe it, other than to say it felt just like a blepharospasm (eyelid twitch), but on my bootie. And it went on and on and ON, all night long.

So finally, at almost 2:00 a.m., I typed up some sub plans and logged in to our sub calling system to schedule an absence. When you log in, the system requires you to state the reason for your absence. I scrolled up and down, but couldn't find "because my twitching ass has kept me up all night" anywhere on their list, so I finally just checked the box next to "illness."