Tea Party Leader Says Ken Cuccinelli Isn’t Conservative Enough!!!

It will be bittersweet when Virginia Attorney General Ken Cucinelli loses his gubernatorial bid this November.

Part of me will rejoice for the progressive voters who will finally break free from the sexphobic Republican. The other part of me will miss talking about his desire to ban bedroom fun.

Rassmussen Reports released a poll on Tuesday that doesn’t bode well for the Attorney General. Democrat Terry McCauliff leads with 50% to Cooch’s 33%. The Libertarian candidate, Robert Sarvis, stands in third place with an embarrassing 8%.

Here’s the really fun part. Tea Party lunatics leaders don’t think the Cooch is conservative enough because he hasn’t taken a “hard stand on Obamacare, immigration and social issues.”

Larry Nordvig, Executive Director of the Richmond Tea Party, complained to Breitbart News that “conservatives are highly concerned about Obamacare, immigration, and moral decline, and are looking for reassurance and leadership in those areas. Attorney General Cuccinelli has not taken a hard stand on those issues. The net effect is that he’s not exciting his base, which dampens campaign volunteer activism.”

When Nordvig spoke with Breitbart in September, he commented “re-engaging his base” was “even more critical for Attorney General Cuccinelli.”

“Cuccinelli is not going to win the money race…That means he will stand, or fall, based on grassroots support. He has got to start reassuring conservatives that he will fight for their deepest-held beliefs. Oh, and it wouldn’t hurt to court the Tea Party a little more,” Nordvig added. “We’re the major component of the grassroots support he needs to win.”

Excuse me, but I have a question for Nordvig – not that I am rooting for the Cooch to win – but as a non-conservative I am very curious. Have you not been paying attention? Regarding the “moral decline” comment, Cuccinelli is OBSESSED with banning happy time in the bedroom. I’m not just talking about homosexual happy time, I mean NO ONE, including heterosexual married couples, would be permitted to use the back-door entrance, if you catch my drift. In addition, no licking of the privates! If he got his way, they would both be against the law. That ISN’T CONSERVATIVE ENOUGH????? Conservative extremist Rick Santorum is so excited about the Cooch, he led a strikeforce to help him win.

I thought the Teapublican evangelical morality police considered those bedroom (and maybe living room, kitchen, bathroom and/or backseat of the car) activities, immoral. Evidently, it’s not enough for conservatives to laser focus on the licky licky, they have to hate Obamacare and anyone who isn’t white too. Maybe it’s just me, but I would have naturally assumed that the Cooch would be opposed to affordable healthcare and equality for all.

Either way, I will miss poking fun at Ken. I will miss Lawrence O’Donnell poking fun at him too. He does it so well. But mostly, I will be happy for Virginia, because they are lovers and they deserve to have a rest from all the imaginary purity and egotistical blindness they have witnessed with the Cooch.

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The irony is he was trying not to appear as rabid until he got elected. Those of us unfortunate enough to live with him as AG for a while know he would pull a Rick Snyder on us the minute he got in office.