My Best Friend’s Girl

Melissa was very blond and very, very pregnant. I found her in the suite with most of everyone else, including Martin, who had his ear pressed to her swollen stomach.

He pulled back suddenly. “Ow! He kicked me!”

“Do you know if it’s a boy?” Alan asked.

Melissa shook her head. “We don’t know for sure but I have a feeling it’s a boy. That or a really feisty girl. Like me.” She grinned and showed her teeth.

“Hi,” I said, offering my hand. “I’m Daron.”

She did that thing of shaking my hand and pulling me into a hug. Fortunately because I’m not super-tall, that wasn’t a big deal. She squeezed me pretty tight, though, and then let go, saying, “Oh, I’m sorry, I just… I’m so hormonal right now I love everybody.”

“Except when you hate everybody,” said Alan’s wife, who sounded like she spoke from experience.

“It was the first thing Remo and I talked about on the way from the airport.” She took a sip of the juice and sighed. “If it’s a boy we agreed on ‘Ford.’ If it’s a girl, we’re gonna have a fight.”

Alan’s wife clucked her tongue. “You can’t let the man pick a girl’s name. What are the top choices?”

“Well, he wants Annalee, but I want something that’s not so, well, girly. There are so many better names for girls, like Jordan or Cameron or Madison. Or maybe one of the Celtic gender-neutral names like Shawn or Tristan?”

I was starting to like her already. “Where is Remo, anyway?”

“Said he had some last minute shopping to do,” Martin said with a shrug.

“Am I?” That seemed ridiculous to me. “I mean, I remember people better, usually, the more important they are to me or the longer I’ve known them. I’ve barely met the Mazel wives, we got introduced all at the same time, and it’s been over a year since then.”

“That is male privilege right there.”

“Does everything have to be a political discussion?”

“You better believe they remember your name, though.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re Little Lord Fauntleroy.”

I decided I wasn’t going to let her bait me into a fight I didn’t have the energy for. “At least I’m not Extreme High Ruler of the Universe.”

“What?”

“Nothing.” I didn’t think I could explain why the joke between me and Antonio was funny.