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March 13, 2013

New Directions!

And no, I'm not referring to the "New Directions" choir, featuring the fictional misfits of Glee. But hey, wouldn't it be fun to have costumes and professionally choreographed musical numbers to celebrate every new direction we take in life?

"Honey, I wonder if we should think about switching to a 'greener' toilet bowl cleaner? This stuff is probably pretty toxic..."

Cue music and lights... roll in the tile bathroom backdrops and 80 ft tall shower curtain and giant 3 story toilet, and then ... let's all dance and sing about the virtues of environmentally friendly cleaning products while dressed as scrub brushes amidst clouds of swirling turquoise bubbles!

[And hell, now that we're in the bathroom anyway, here's a complete digression for which I blame our good pal Leah at The Goat's Lunch Pail and "The Kitsch Bitsch." It's a rather astounding retro musical inducement to get your kids to consider taking a New Direction in personal hygiene. But if your sons all turn out totally gay as a result don't say I didn't warn you].

Anyway, back to the "New Directions" thing.

Do you ever struggle a bit with a sense that it might be time to head in a New Direction, yet you're still kind of attached to the Old Direction?
And yet going in many directions at once can be difficult?

And yes, this IS one of those self-indulgent, endless, "what's going on with Crabby and the blog" posts, how did you guess? Sorry about that. But I need some advice and you guys are always so smart and helpful.

Plus I'm thinking this post can also serve as a continuation of our March Goal Support discussion, for those who wouldn't mind a fresher, less crowded place to check in. Though the old post is still good too, I'll keep visiting, and both will work for Polar purposes. (And for those of you who are not regular Cranketeers and have no idea what the hell I'm talking about, see the most recent Goal Post for details).

But first off, an announcement!

So here's an upcoming online workshop that looks great, and it at least arguably fits in with today's New Directions theme:

Jennipher Walters is one of the smartest, most sensible fitness bloggers on the planet (and plus I've met her and she's REALLY NICE) and this looks to be a great class. I know too many women who feel so frustrated by the self-esteem slamming cycle of dieting/weighing/sobbing, who might really benefit from heading in a New Direction in fit and healthy living. Plus, at $49 for a whole month of weekly classes, it's very reasonably priced as well!

eBook?
Those of you who've been following the goal check-ins since January know that I'm working on a second eBook. Unlike the first one, this one is going to be entirely new material. I'm really psyched about it and I'm having a blast with it. However, it's going slowly because I'm struggling to find enough time for it.

Will this next ebook be a revenue-generating, traffic-bringing, publicity-attracting, best-selling, viral marketing machine? Alas, conventional wisdom would predict otherwise.

It's not even primarily about fitness or nutrition or weight loss, which will make marketing it off this website especially challenging.

Oh, and could I pick a tougher demographic to market to? Basically, it's a "how to be a hell of a lot happier" book written for a very specific audience: skeptical people of above-average intelligence. Yep, the very people who most loathe self help books!

Yet it's my contention that often folks with highly developed critical thinking skills actually struggle more to feel peaceful and upbeat and happy than gullible wishful thinkers do. Many conventional methods do not work for us. As a semi-reformed cranky worrywart party-pooper myself, I have amassed a bunch of tips, tricks and strategies that I think could be helpful! Or at least vaguely amusing.

Am I concerned about the fact this may take up a lot of time to write and no one else may want to read it but me? Not so much! My reasons for writing it are weird and complicated and could be the subject of yet another huge long blathering blog post, but trust me, I'm feeling very motivated.

Coaching?
Many readers also know I have a Life and Wellness Coaching business. And wow, after a tentative and experimental entry into this odd-sounding profession, I've discovered I LOVE it! So much more fun and rewarding than being a psychotherapist was, even if that sounded fancier and got more professional respect at cocktail parties. I suspect the awesomeness of clients drawn mainly from the Cranky Fitness crowd has a LOT to do with it.

However, I haven't paid nearly enough attention to marketing the practice. I haven't updated the lamish website, or gotten a newsletter going, or done any of the other multitude of things one needs to do to grow a professional practice. All I do is periodically discount my rates to sometimes absurdly low levels, which totally made sense when I was first starting off (and I'd still like to have some low income slots).

But I'm start to take myself more a little more seriously, and I'm totally blown away sometimes by the profound changes coaching can bring. I BELIEVE in it now! And yet I can't help but notice that many coaches and personal consultants, often male, are perfectly comfortable charging way more than I do even if they are not any better qualified. So I'm starting to rethink the bargain-basement approach to marketing. I don't actually suck at this coaching thing, and my many years of being a therapist help bring additional skills to the table. I still want to be reasonable, but not necessarily cheaper then everyone else in the world.

What I need to figure out is: how to find and market to more people who are willing/able to make the financial investment in themselves that coaching requires. Strangely enough, waiting around for people to find me on my blog may not be sufficient to accomplish this!

For a lower-cost coaching option, I'd love to start putting on workshops, both virtual and in the real physical world. I have tons of ideas. (And a main theme might be: Workshops for People Who Hate Workshops! No Flowery Affirmations or Forced Sharing Required!) But, and we've got a theme going here, I haven't actually done anything but daydream.

Ultimately, other Coaching-Gone-Wild fantasies might include putting on wellness/self-confidence/life transition/goal achievement retreats, with tasty healthy food and (always optional) outdoor activities in scenic locations. Starting, with, um, Provincetown MA or San Diego CA perhaps? Wouldn't that be fun? Or hey, a full line of fun products including books and videos and audio downloads and funny t-shirts and coffee mugs and who the hell knows what else?

And don't even get me started on our cruise line...

Blogging?

Longtime readers know that I used to do a hell of a lot more with Cranky Fitness as a blog. (Daily posts! Cobloggers! Actual informative fitness and nutrition posts in which I'd research the fuck out of something and go on for 10,000 words only to conclude at the end that it's complicated and scientists still haven't made up their minds yet about what you should do!)

And while the blog is not what it used to be, I love the way the sense of community seems to be growing even as my posting and blog visiting and social media presence gets more and more sketchy. I love you guys and don't want to lose any of you!

Speed the Hell Up?
I'm well aware that people who are productive and efficient might laugh hysterically at how little I manage to get done in a day. Yet they can laugh all they want because I'm pretty happy moving at my own daydreamy doddering smell-the-flowers pace. After 50 plus years I don't see that changing any time soon. So productivity gains would need to come from letting go of stuff or getting more efficient, not from moving at a faster pace. My relative peace of mind took too long to achieve to risk losing by trying to blitz through my days.

Any Ideas? What Would You Guys Suggest?
I want to do more than just daydream about these new directions. And I don't want to sacrifice too much in the way of sleep, volunteer work, physical activity, my own schlocky personal growth stuff, healthy cooking and shopping, or family and social obligations etc. I suspect there are ways I could do more in terms of reaching my goals in the same amount of time, but I'm such a creature of habit!

Sound Familiar?
Yep, this dilemma is all too common, and in fact, I love to help coaching clients with this! But this is MY life, and isn't it funny how hard it is to be objective about your own stuff?

I have some thoughts, but it occurs to me that before I go down old familiar pathways and end up surprised that I'm somehow I'm in the same place again...

Hey, wait I have an awesome resource: blog readers! And I'd be a crappy life coach if I forgot how helpful it can be use existing valuable resources to help with new challenges.

So do any of you have any specific ideas or general strategies or encouraging words that might help me? Anyone else contemplating taking some New Directions or have some past experience with it? Or, how are you doing on your March Goals?

And yeah, that's an excellent idea, because often people DON'T really believe their own success and happiness are worth investing in. Or at least not in the same way they might invest in their homes or yards or wardrobes or cars.

OMG I would be so down with a healthy retreat, particularly in SAN DIEGO!! An acquaintance of mine is doing up something like that in Palm Desert, but she is into the Paleo lifestyle, which is not where I'm at. (I still would consider doing it because I think in general a clean eating weekend with like minded people would be super fun.)

Hey that's great to hear OtF, would be awesome if you were there! I just think that being around like-minded supportive people, having a little bit of (optional) structure and different sorts of options for learning and exploring, and a chance to reflect and kick stuff around and get silly and dream big but also get practical... could be awesome someday.

Plus I'm partial to music and chocolate and wine and dancing and seashore walks and lots of giggling, so I'm thinking these might have to all figure in somehow as well! Hey, a crab can dream...

I vote for the retreat (like a full-time resort) - you could do life coaching and have some fitness nuts around and nutritious types to cook (as long as there is still wine!). I think big dreams are best and like I always tell my boys - "Now you have a great idea, act on it!!!"I hope you do really start doing more & more with the life coaching - the world needs more people that are dedicated to helping others reach their full potential!!!And, as soon as you have a retreat - I want to be one of the first to sign up!!!

Oh my goodness, it would ROCK to have you along Kim! You could show us some of your moves, which I'm guessing we could do in between roasting organic stevia-sweetened smore's over our beach fire, and drinking resveratrol-packed wine!

maybe you could get someone to do some heavy marketing for you! i feel it makes things easier to delegate stuff like that... also i think you should definitely raise your fees! its absolutely fair to do so!i have had a very intense week getting into contact with the bosses of the local youth autorities andd offering them my work in the form of my very own business ( that would offer socialwork for teenagers). also i put an add up to offer systemic counceling ( just got my degree...yay!). now i live somewhere between panic, terror, pride and intense joy and wait for their call. i have never tried something so scary....! as you held in your hands: HOLY CRAP!:)puja

Wow, that's great and awesome and brave Puja and you sound determined to make it a success!

And I think you may be right about the marketing help... I'm so damn cheap I hate to pay for help, but I think it may be a case of "penny-wise, pound-foolish." Which I think is an old English expression for "stop being such a tight-wad, Crabby, and get some help!"

Ok, the hubster just walked by as I was watching that video. He looks at me, shakes his head and walks on by. If he didn't think I was certifiable before, he does now!

eBook...I can't help you there. I have folks in real life that keep pushing ME to write a book. They say they consider themselves a good judge of writing and that I have the makings for a good writer. I lack direction though. Who would want to hear what I say??? I sympathize with you, I really do! I really enjoyed the first book though. Lots of great advice was imparted in a very entertaining way!

Coaching...Wow you even have a bonafide 'psycho' degree and everything! There are a LOT of so called coaches out there that are only in it for the money, call themselves a coach without any degree, and take advantage of gullible folks. I can't see you doing that. AND your comments often show your inner coach/counselor/handholding/friendly persona. A word of caution though...just my humble opinion...don't spread yourself too thin. If you are going to go in this direction, you'll need to devote time to do justice to it. I somehow don't see you as a wishy-washy type.

Have you ever given yourself time to sit in a room without distraction and pretend you already were the coach you talk about wanting to be? Go through your coaching lifestyle in your mind. What kind of schedule will you keep? How much time will you have to devote? Do you relish the thought of it all and the challenge or are you thinking this is something you 'should' be doing? How much are you willing to give up to make it happen? Are you ok with your time being more structured than it is now?

As you know, I am struggling right now too. Sometimes I think I 'should' get a job. Why? Because it isn't enough to run the household that includes a husband, a 12 yr old son, three senior cats, two senior dogs, one big bitch...(um German Shepherd) as well as volunteer at the Sr Center 4 hours a week? I am sure I could work a part-time job in between quilting, sewing, and practicing for an upcoming performance. (Too bad we didn't live closer, we'd give you your own St. Patrick's Day concert!) Or I think I 'should' workout like a maniac because by not losing this last 20 pounds I will be seen as a failure. How can I help others if I can't help myself? (sounds familiar, don't it?) :D

As I entered my 50's, I found it hard to define who I was, who I wanted to be, and what direction I wanted to go in. As I near my 60's I STILL don't know! I have started seeing that I really need to give a lot of time to myself to think about changes. If I do things on the spur of the moment, I often regret it later. On the other hand, if I am thinking the same way two weeks or even three weeks later, I start thinking perhaps this might be something I SHOULD do. I am more cautious than I used to be.

Friday I am meeting up with a trainer that I had a few sessions with last fall. It took me almost THREE months to make myself do this. Part of the reason was because it will cost me money to see him again. It isn't much by most people's standards but it is by mine. I really struggled with being able to spend the money for ME and MY physical health. Today was the first day that I actually could say to myself that I am looking forward to this and hoping we can work out a schedule for training together again.

Gads I get long winded!!! What I am trying to say is for you to think it through and if you really feel pulled to go in one direction or the other, go for it. If not, figure out a different direction to puzzle over. Is there a rush? What does your Lobster say? Variety is the spice of life. Perhaps it is time for a change. Sometimes we feel honor bound to not change because of how it will affect others. Most of the time we end up hurting ourselves and those around us suffer, seeing us suffer.

You can't give up this blog though. Sorry, we just won't allow that. You can do once a week if you want...if you HAVE to, but please don't go away totally. You must know we all kinda like having you around here. :D

Hey Sherri, thanks SO MUCH for all the thoughts and input and I love long thoughtful comments like that so feel free any time!

And yeah, I've had those long conversations with myself and depending on what day it is, different versions of these prospective lives all have their appeal. They are in many ways similar to the extraordinarily lucky life I'm already leading.

I don't currently seem willing to give anything up, and even have a whole bunch more fantasy ideas in the queue that I decided to leave out of the post. But that's ok, I like having a bunch of big dreams that may or may not pan out.

So I guess what I'm dealing with is where to put the emphasis, and if there are efficiencies I'm not exploiting well enough. I guess currently I'm looking to further along with ebook writing & coaching and perhaps adding some sort of group aspect, whether it be workshops or classes or fantasy retreats. Oh, and while not completely ignoring the blog either.

The thing that I'm wrestling with most I guess is focus! Am I happier chipping slowly away at multiple goals and getting the benefit of a lot of variety to my days, or would it be better to pour more effort into one thing at a time and get a little further along in terms of concrete encouraging accomplishments? Hmmm... must ponder.

And good point, there is NO RUSH! Again, I'm extraordinarily fortunate to be pondering such fun options. Thanks again so much for helping me bounce this stuff around, and yeah, wish you were closer too as I'd love to check out the St Pat's day concert!

FOCUS! Me too...these days it has been hard to focus. One thing I have been doing to 'fix' that is to trim out what is no longer serving me.

I just gave up doing my quilt guild's newsletter. I loved doing it at first and the kudo's I got for a very nice newsletter were wonderful for my ego. When I no longer enjoyed doing it though, I finally had to admit that I was only doing it out of a sense of duty. It wasn't easy to find someone else to do it but I stood firm and they now have a new newsletter person. The weight lifted off my shoulders should be good for a couple pounds off the scale! lol

So, if there IS anything that is no longer serving you, pleasing you, doing any good for you...let it go! The less you have to even THINK about focusing on, the better. Pretty soon there will be one or two projects that will come out to you that you will find yourself going forward full blast, having a blast!

Enjoy this 'down time' while you can too. Sometimes we don't realize how nice things are until a change is dumped in our laps!

Oh, and if you trust me with your snail mail address, I can send you a concert in the mail. :D (walker lady at walker lady dot com with no spaces)

The new e-book sounds like something I really want to read! Not sure if overtly marketing it to people of "above average intelligence" is a good idea though - how many people would exclude themselves either due to modesty or lack of belief in their own faculties? "Self help for people who hate self help books" seems a safer bet! I come here more for the writing and community than for health and fitness advice, so it suits me just fine if you branch out into related subjects in ebooks or even in the blog itself.

If you want a glowing testimonial from one of your coaching alumni you know where I am! And I'm sure you're aware of the psychological effect whereby pricing something at the bottom end of the market can lead people to assume it's inferior to the more expensive options, even if it's as good or better. You're worth as much as the other guys, why not charge as much?

VERY helpful feedback Shadowduck! Hadn't thought about the modesty factor, and in fact I think part of the skeptical personality constellation I'm driving at can sometimes be an inwardly directed skepticism about one's own abilities.

I think I am, however, aiming at something a bit more specific than just those who hate self help books. I'm kinda going for people who have an analytical mind, who are more inclined to view things logically and critically, and yet whose very gifts in terms of cognitive style can result in a pessimistic bias which can lead to orneryness, anxiety, etc.

I partly blame an overly optimistic, wishful-thinking modern culture for driving those with logical minds to constantly identify and trouble-shoot problems because so often that piece is left out of conversations and we (meaning myself and anyone else who can relate) feel the need to take that part on. If that makes any sense.

And thanks for the testimonial offer, hope that didn't feel extorted. I realized after I posted it that my disclosuing I haven't asked for testimonials could be a bit uncomfortable for those who have worked with me in a coaching setting and may not want to offer one. In fact, I may go back and edit.

And good reminder about the psychological impact of pricing! I do believe I can figure out other ways to make coaching type help affordable for those who can't manage individual rates by doing some sort of group or class, rather than so frequently deciding to slash individual rates.

yeah..coaching works and it is funny how its hard to remember to do that stuff on our own. Here are a couple of my ideas...1. find your own marketing coach to work with 2. Produce the outline for your seminar but approach it as a workshop or training for corporations as an overall wellness - team building - or productivity type seminar. MANY companies provide these for their employees and then you can spin off the individual clients. This would work well with an online format that they could *offer* to their employees3. When you find out how to market a book that is outside your blog niche...let me know...I am trying that on my own right now. I've done the standard send out for review but still developing the plan. For me, that is currently following many writing blogs because the blogging community thing is what I know. 4. Develop a class for some *community forum* type places Parks & Rec, Chamber of Commerce, etcthere's my couple of cents

Some great ideas here. Hadn't thought about a marketing coach! And it's interesting, because when I start to think about it, I realize I fear they're going to tell me to do all the things I don't seem to make time for now that I already KNOW I should do.

But actually, someone with marketing experience might be able to help me figure out which things are worth pursuing, and what stuff I could DROP that might be giving me the illusion I'm "doing social media" but that aren't paying off. I suspect I could get a lot more results if I spent my time more efficiently. Perhaps I need more of a consultant than a coach though, or someone who wears both hats?

Know anyone good (and affordable?) :) Do any marketing folks work on contingency, i.e., for a percentage of increased revenues? Wonder if there are any marketing interns out there who want to add something to a resume?

This blog doesn't have to be one thing or the other. I agree with Shadowduck I'm here for the community and the posts...whatever the topic!

Fitness, cranky or otherwise gives us access to peace of mind. It gives us the abilty to meet other life goals. I am newish to the blog but have loved every post that I've read. It can be once a week. It doesn't have to 'look' exactly the same as when you started.

The fact that you were a traditional therapist in another life brings HUGE value to your Life Coaching practice.

You can still smell the flowers and meander to a wonderful blend of all of your talents. Thank YOU for sharing yourself so freely here. It is a gift you give to all of us.

It's funny, because after posting this I've felt a bit overexposed, and was kind of regretful that I put all this stuff out there in such a public forum. You know that "Whoops, Overshare!" feeling?

So knowing even one kind reader doesn't find the public self-examination and the grandiose dreams and the request for help/thoughts/encouragement too icky goes a long way to easing that uh-oh, got-carried-away queasiness.

And yet, as long as I'm still blogging, I'll be poking around at the boundaries of the personal/professional sharing issue, and wanting to at least TRY to keep it real and honest even if I end up looking a bit like a dork.

But how lucky am I to be part of a blog community where I get to be a foul-mouthed flower-smelling dork with big dreams and yet still get such warm support and help from such great people?

Your new ebook sound like something I'd be into. The sense of community here is what keeps bringing me back. The kind of great discussions and conversations that come up with so many diverse people makes for a real well-rounded discussion forum.

Ah Geosomin, as you're one of the treasured old-timers who has seen the blog mutate and change over time, and always has had such great stuff to contribute, I really appreciate that!

I don't know how you manage to keep several great blogs going, plus a busy grown up job and all your other activities, AND help out other bloggers with your comments, but Cranky Fitness is a really lucky blog to one of the ones you visit! You always have great stuff to share, thanks so much!

I just want to say that it makes me happy that you're happy and excited about all the options available to you. I posted a quote the other day that I think fits here - "Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go do it. Because what the world needs is more people who have come alive. -Howard ThurmanNow break out in to dance while singing Alicia Keys This Girl Is On Fire and the answer will probably just come to you. You're welcome.:)http://youtu.be/J91ti_MpdHAGaye

JavaChick, you are SUCH an awesome helpful member of this community and I always love your comments. And it's getting on a number of years now, probably more than either of us wants to count! Thank you SO MUCH!

I think it's a saturated market with little money to be made. Just do what makes you happy and at the worst, you will have that.

I'm involved in changing my direction in life. I don't know how it will play out yet.

One of my best friends just changed his life's direction. From having a potentially great life with a good job and girlfriend to facing a mandatory ten year prison sentence! I think you know me well enough to know I tell it like it is.

Julie Cameron, in The Artist's Way, suggests morning pages -- three pages of stream-of-consciousness writing as soon as you wake up each morning. It can help you focus and see what's in your brain. It can also help because you can ask your own inner self some of these questions, and listen for the answers to come up on the pages.

Yeah Crabby no insight or advice here, but I wholehartedly support anyone who is willing to live their passion. I started following you for the fitness ideas. I keep following you because you are funny, and smart, and positive, and hopeful, and encouraging and occasionally you overshare and I laugh to myself and think - Self: everyone has doubts and fears to overcome. thanks for the reminder. Whatever direction you go I am onboard.

HONEST - I am useless in this regard. I can't even manage my own life! :) I think you have everything it takes to make your dream come true - you are fun & witty & love reading you. I am a skeptic in terms on books helping me but not the intelligent skeptic - just a skeptic with average intelligence. ;) Like others, I would follow you no matter what you do but the most important thing is to make yourself happy!

isn't over-sharing what blogging is all about? I think you have received a lot of helpful advise here. One more bit... why not get another blogger or two with similar goals to go in on your retreat idea? You for life goals/changes, someone doing exercise/health goals, someone doing healthy eating/nutrition...the list could go on. Or start out at (or start) a lifestyle fair? The type where you have a booth and people come by and talk to you? I have no idea if that kind of thing exists, or if it would work, but, maybe something to think about.

Reb, thank you so much, but those are excellent suggestions! I think partnering has always been a challenge for me, as historically I've been both shy and a control freak, which means I HAVE tons of opinions but don't always express them. However, my newly rewired brain feels way more open to collaborative ventures, which may be the best route for marketing, workshops, and many other wild ideas I've been concocting.

Gee, I don't know. Don't worry, be happy? The thing is, it took me the whole week to find time to write my comment 'cause I have sort of oversubscribed my time, too. Then I started a series of knee appointments (may well be a torn meniscus, but the PT says that can most likely wait until after the Death Ride), and they pushed my schedule right over the edge. So for what it's worth (not much, I'm afraid, at least from a practical perspective), you have my sympathy. But useful advice? Nah. We live in an amazing world in an amazing time that just plain offers us too many options. It's sort of like trying to choose an ice cream flavor. When you're hungry, you want them all!

I just try to sit back and enjoy it as much as I can, and make an occasional push to get particular projects done. I also tend to respond well to deadlines, which is why I am ever so glad I don't work from home. Don't suppose I'd manage to produce many billable hours that way. But you have succeeded there, which is very impressive.

So just don't forget to smell those flowers while you figure this out.

Ah, the ice cream analogy is an excellent one DRG! And how lucky are we to have hearty appetites and live in an ice cream store, metaphorically speaking? (Cause if it were literally true I'd be as big as one of those mountains your going to be riding up).

I think it's the "occasional push" thing I need to get a better grip on; current approach feels a bit too scattershot.

Looking forward to the ebook. A book written for a slightly cynical audience will be better than the many shiny new object ebooks that get released and don't really challenge conventional thinking much.