Lindsay Lohan attempted to DJ at a party in London last night with respected DJ Gareth Geno. One partygoer said, "She seemed like a total drunken, incoherent mess... It was really embarrassing to watch."

"Lindsay was clearly struggling to play the set on her own and had to ask Gareth for help," continued the eyewitness. "You could tell she didn't didn't know what she was doing... Lindsay constantly had a drink in her hand the whole time she was playing." [Radar]

A private funeral will be held on Monday in Utah for Marie Osmond's son Michael Bryan. [CNN]

On using relationships as material, the Elle April covergirl says: "I like to categorize the various levels of heartbreak. I've only had that happen once. A letdown is worth a few songs. A heartbreak is worth a few albums." [Elle]

Beyonce was in New York today (along with Jay-Z) to speak at the opening of her Beyoncé Cosmetology Center, which allows men and women in rehab to prepare for careers in the cosmetology field after a seven-month training course. [Dumbo NY]

Tiger Woods just turned down a five-year, $75 million dollar endorsement offer from the Irish gambling company PaddyPower.com. [TMZ]

The talent producer for The Brady Bunch 35th Anniversary Reunion Special: Still Brady After All These Years, the last Brady Bunch reunion, says, "Of course there's a Brady feud... One of the teasers for Maureen McCormick's successful 2008 book Here's My Story included an alleged teenage kiss between her and Eve Plumb. Plumb denied the incident and was not amused." [Radar]

Jon Gosselin Tweeted today: "Congratulations to Kate for joining the new season of DWTS. I am thrilled for her. She has my support and vote." [Us]

Kate Gosselin's DWTS partner Tony Dovolani says, "She's never taken a step of dancing in her life, but she's very hard-working. She's willing to try everything. She's definitely not the best dancer... So, for me, it's like I have an empty canvas that I can create a masterpiece. It's a great opportunity to show America what I'm capable of - which is teaching somebody who has never danced before." [Us]

The company that hosted a pre-Oscars gifting suite attended by Sarah Palin and company says the rumors that they grabbed tons of swag are untrue. [LAT]

18-year-old Alexis Neiers, one of the alleged "Bling Ring" burglars who stole from celebrities, is getting her own E! reality show called Pretty Wild. [Newser]

Zac Posen was overheard saying that, "After the Golden Globes, [Tina Fey] fired her stylist and canceled the dress she'd ordered from me for the Academy Awards." Tina's rep says, "There was no 'firing' nor was there a Zac Posen dress that had been lined up... I believe a very preliminary discussion was had between [stylist] Anna Bingemann and Zac about wanting to dress Tina again — she wore his dress last year for the Oscars – but it was too early to make any sort of commitment." [Stylist]

A woman claims Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger sexually assaulted her in the bathroom of a Georgia nightclub. He hasn't been charged yet, but he's already being sued by a woman who claims he assaulted her in 2008. [TMZ]

Ben Roethlisberger's reps said they, "wouldn't comment as to whether Roethlisberger was in fact accused of sexual assault, just that the allegations were untrue and the events in question did not happen." [TMZ]

DJ Tracy Young says of her relationship with Kim Zolciak, "These allegations of a secret affair aren't new to me. It seems whenever I work with a high-profile female artist, someone is always trying to link us together romantically. The facts are Kim and I worked together....We spent a lot of time in the studio and in the process, became close friends due to our shared interest in music." [Us]

Kim Zolciak says she's dating Big Poppa, not Tracy Young. She says, "We're doing great. He's fantastic. It's been so on and off in the last two years, but the entertainment industry is really difficult and takes a toll on relationships. People are so fascinated with any part that has to do with my personal life. And it's just that. You want to talk about my kids, I'll do it all day long. You want to talk about my wig line, I'll do it all day long. But this stuff … it just really makes me laugh." [People]

Rosie O'Donnell was supposed to fly to The Dinah in Palm Springs to do stand-up, but she canceled, explaining that she wants to spend time with her kids and new girlfriend. [Perez]

The promos for Law and Order: SVU features a lesbian kiss between Kathy Griffin and Mariska Hargitay, but it was cut from the episode for some reason. [Queerty]

Here's a look at Kanye West on The Cleveland Show. What happened to his facial hair? [EW]

Kendra Wilkinson says that when she wants the crew on her show Kendra to stop filming her, "I ask them politely to respect that we need some time alone... Or I just lift up my shirt. It's too expensive to blur boobs." [People]

Apparently some people are calling for Kendra Wilkinson to run for Evan Bayh's Senate seat. Thankfully, she's not old enough, but she says, "Yeah, I don't even know what the Senate does. I'll run for it, but I don't really know what it means. I would definitely campaign for better education in schools and donate more money to inner-city schools and stuff like that. I would definitely love to see kids have more focus in life with sports and stuff, and I know that, like, Mr. Schwarzenegger wants to take away our sports and our art. I'm totally 100 percent against that. Our kids need focus, especially these days when there are drugs all over the place. And the Internet is something that I definitely want to take away from the focus of kids... Because the Internet has gotten way out of control. Let me tell you that right now. It's crazy!" [Details]

Jay Leno's ratings at the Tonight Show are already slipping, but he still has a 15 point lead on David Letterman. [Radar]

Spencer Pratt Tweeted pictures of himself getting oral surgery after her bit through his tongue while playing with his dog. "Sometimes accidents just happen," he says. "I'm just thankful to Heidi for all the pampering and love she's given me since the injury. She's really taken great care of me." [People]

A producer of the Broadway revival of The Miracle Worker, starring Alison Pill and Abigail Breslin says, "the box office has not ignited as we had hoped" and the show may close. [NYT]

Abigail Breslin says, "When I was onstage [performing The Miracle Worker], I broke a doll's head and I got sliced through my fingers. It's one of those things where you don't really know what you're supposed to do, so I was like, all right, I'll just keep going with the show and hope that people don't notice. But I think it's kind of hard to miss when there's, like, a child bleeding on the ground." [N.Y. Magazine]

Jenna Elfman has given birth to her second son, a boy named Xenu Easton Quinn Monroe Elfman. [People]

Bethenny Frankel says of her impending nuptials, "I find that just looking at dresses, I have Bridezilla moments. You feel like an 8-year-old, trying on things and getting stuck in a dress, and I'm like, ‘Get me the hell out of here!'" [People]

Larry King recently took his first flight since September 11 (?!), and set off an alarm when he went thorough the metal detector. "So when you fail the test, which is what I did, I failed the security test, they had to give me the complete body search," he said. "So I had to stand there with [my] arms [out], and they are talking with me at the same time, 'loved the show last night, turn over your belt,' and then they grab you by the privates," he said. "They examined me pretty good." [Washington Examiner]

Vienna Girardi's sister says The Bachelor, Jake Pavelka, didn't cheat on Vienna by hooking up with his ex-girlfriend. She says, "Vienna also has ex-boyfriends and all of their exes are mad because the two of them are so happy." Whatever. [Radar]

Charles Pearson has been charged with felony stalking and five counts of making criminal threats for harassing Dr. Drew Pinsky. [TMZ]

Brooke Shields admits she's used Botox but says she's worried about getting plastic surgery. "I want laser treatment because I'm not a fan of my wrinkles," she says said. "But I have to find someone with a light touch. I'm scared I'll end up looking like the Joker." [Us]

Tim Burton says of Alice in Wonderland, "I get so tired of people saying 'oh you only make fantasy films and this and that' and I'm like, 'well no, fantasy is reality', that's what Lewis Carroll [the author of the original Alice In Wonderland stories] showed in his work. There's a reason why it's in pop culture and in our consciousness and in the vocabulary." [Daily Express]

The Hurt Locker's Jeremy Renner is bringing his mom to the Oscars. She says, "He keeps me calm... I'm the nervous one. He's been to [award shows] before. I haven't. It's crazy!" [People]

"It's almost reductive when we talk about a woman being afraid of getting old. It just sounds like you're scared of losing your looks or something. Instead I think it's this feeling that a lot of people have in mid-life of being, 'Well, who am I?' It's a huge crisis." — Julianne Moore [Mirror]

Shia LaBeouf says while filming Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps, Michael Douglas was distracted by his son's drug arrest. "I met a broken man, not the star, Michael Douglas," Shia said. "The man was in pain, trapped in an incredibly deep crisis. Michael Douglas on the verge of a nervous breakdown. It was unbelievably disturbing... He was afraid for his son....Michael's work day was structured so that he'd visit his son in prison in the mornings, and after come to us on set. That was pretty difficult for him." [Star]

Here's another way fame has ruined poor Robert Pattinson's life: It's robbed him of his musical inspiration. He explains, "I used to write a lot more music by just doing gigs, just turning up to open mics and stuff with two lines of the song and then the pressure would force me to make something up on the spot. And I can't really do that anymore, which was my main process for writing songs. When I sit down to write some lyrics it just sounds like rubbish. All the songs I've done before were based on as much of a stream of consciousness as you can get." [Contact Music]

While presenting Queen Latifah with an award at the Essence Black Women in Hollywood luncheon, Jada Pinkett Smith said, "My father died last week, and I'm flying tomorrow to bury him, but I wanted to come because when those types of losses happen a lot of things get illuminated and your priorities fall in line." She added, "When I think about Latifah I think about a woman who makes me feel loved. She can sit in the throne of my soul and just be there with me. She makes me laugh." [People]

On an upcoming episode of Who Do You Think You Are, Lisa Kudrow learns about her great-grandmother's murder at the hands of Nazis and reconnects with relatives in Poland. "That is the darkest of the episodes. There's a ridiculously happy ending now," she says. [USA Today]

Holly Robinson Peete has learned a lesson from commenting on the John MayerPlayboy interview. "I shouldn't have commented on something when I didn't read the whole thing," she said. "When you put something out there, you can't pull it back. It was a big lesson. It was a viral hot mess. It happened, because I commented on something that I thought was nice. I didn't see all the comments. I'm the one that messed up." [Us]

Billy Corgan says of Jessica Simpson, "If I go, ‘Oh, we're just friends,' then it's like, ‘Did they go out, did he dump her or she dump him, what happened?' It has nothing to do with any of that. Sometimes people just like being around each other, and good things come out of that. My goal in life is to love whoever I think is worth loving, and I think if people knew her like I knew her, they would love her like I do. It's really simple." [Rollingstone]

Gabourey Sidibe says Oprah Winfrey is the only person that I'm continually star-struck by... Oprah called me and was like, 'Hey girl, do you want to ride together?' [to the Oscars]. I was like, 'I got it Oprah, calm down. I don't want to show up with you. People will think we're too cool." [People]

Gabourey Sidibe says of her run in with Chris Rock at the Black Women In Hollywood luncheon, "As I go up to get my award in a room where my dad is, because he's one of my dates, Chris Rock grabbed my butt with both of his hands, and then I slapped him back - I didn't think too much of it at all but my dad was so mad." She added, "Some dudes gotta have it - it's my own fault for being too damn fine." [Mirror]