Tuesday, 2 August 2016

Stress Who

It’s
commonly known that stress is a huge factor in exacerbating chronic illnesses
such as Crohn’s Disease. It also almost nigh on impossible to avoid. Everyone
deals with their own stresses in day to day life, be it struggling with
finances, feeling harassed at work, relationship troubles or just not being
able to catch that last Pokémon. We all have our own issues and we all deal
with them in different ways, so there is sadly no quick fix.

One
of my main stressors, (and I hadn’t realised it was such a thing until
recently) is being around negative people. Thisisa stress for me, mainly in my day to
day ‘real’ job where the environment can be borderline toxic with reams upon
reams of people competing to outdo one another in the misery Olympics. Of
course being perma-sick like me can also cloud your judgement on these people, as
you feel you have a unique outlook on their particular ‘problems’ – mainly that
they need to realise how lucky they are not to live with an illness every day.
But that’s just a biased and marginally unhealthy attitude and one I sometimes struggle
to keep under wraps.

I’ve
tried various methods in dealing with these people from straight up ignoring
them to trying to play amateur therapist and everything in between. For the
most part, nothing works, because the hard truth is; some people love to
complain. TheyLOVEit. They relish finding misery in the
minutiae of daily life then amplifying it for all to hear. But because I know
being around these people makes me genuinely unwell, and I have no optionbutto be around them, I try to do certain
things to make sure I’m protected. I can’t heal the world and make it a better
place, but I can try to shield myself from some of the bile spewed into my
airspace. So here are a few things I try to remember when I feel myself being
drawn in:

1. Don’t Become the Person you despise

By
that I mean, don’t spend your evenings complaining to your significant
other/friends/cat about said person(s) you find so unbearably negative.
Although it can certainly be cathartic to vent your frustrations, all you are
doing is perpetuating the misery and continuing a vicious cycle of gloom. Plus,
you don’t want to be the one talked about in the same vein do you?

2. Focus on what you can control

So
here I’m referring toyourmental state. Don’t allow someone
else’s perpetually bad attitude to alter your own. Don’t be disheartened either
when you find your amiable attitude doesn’t rub off on others, you haven’t
failed, you’re not Mary Poppins, just focus on what you think and feel about
certain situations and don’t get tangled up in bad feeling.

3. Change the record

Sounds
an easy task to just change the subject, but it's can be a challenge when
someone is in the midst of a rant about this that and the next thing. Tempting
someone away from the dark side of every situation can be hard but rather than
indulging them it's often more effective to subtly change topic. It's easier
than confronting them endlessly on their bad attitude, and they have nowhere to
go with a rant when the recipient shows zero interest.

4. Act don't react

If
this negative person happens to be a friend of yours, it can be tempting to try
and solve their problem in the first instance. It’s of course always the right
thing to display a degree of compassion for someone you care for/anyone who
seems to be in a harmful spiral, but remember to avoid falling into their habits
yourself. If you see a common type of behaviour of theirs approaching then
perhaps try and pre-emptively ease it, before they slip into the same
depressive slump.

5. Put Your Health First

There
may come a time, regardless of your persistent efforts to help, when you should
consider what you are getting out of a certain friendship and how much of it is
draining vital life force from every fibre of your being. If a relationship
revolves around one party’s negativity you’ll find yourself a verbal punch-bag,
that’s when it might be time to cut ties where possible, or at the very least
put some distance between you both. Health and particularly mental health is
IMPORTANT and being made miserable and stressed regularly is a strain we just
do not need.