Jim Carrey is an inspiration to so many people. His attitudes, beliefs and mindset are gold and can be heard in this speech laden with humour, at his recent commencement address for the Maharishi University of Management. Gold from the man in… gold?

Much of his success he equates to the power of Visualisation and the Law of Attraction, as expressed in this video interview with Oprah Winfrey in Feb 1997. He wrote himself a check for $10 MILLION for “Acting Services Rendered” and post-dated it to 1995. A few years later he achieved his goal being paid $10 million for his lead acting role in Dumb and Dumber.

Oprah: “If you can see it and believe it, it’s much easier to achieve”

“I am somebody.I was somebody when I came.I’ll be a better somebody when I leave.I am powerful and I am strong.I deserve the education that I get here.I have things to do, people to impress, and places to go.”

Small Business Festival Victoria (SBFV) is put on by the State Government of Victoria every year during the month of August, to assist Small Business Owners to grow and survive in today’s economic climate.

As a Small Business Growth Specialist, I invest heavily in supporting this yearly Small Business event with multiple seminars, workshops and webinars throughout the month of August. This year (2015) I am hosting 5 live events across a range of topics over 4 days. Due to high demand and sell-out crowds I have chosen to add additional dates for some events.

Communication, Conflict Resolution and Couples Therapy Basics.

1. Honesty

Without honesty improving communication is impossible. From here all things can begin. A foundation of honesty shows respect and a willingness to move forward. It also feeds directly in to the points below and becomes the foundation for any relationship.

2. Listening

Listening is a skill that goes so much deeper than just ‘not speaking’. To listen to another person to truly understand what they are saying, not what you think they are saying, will immediately impact your communication and often even how you view that other person.

Steven Covey wrote in his book ‘The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People’, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Well over 50% of arguments occur because people have different beliefs about what they are arguing, or misunderstand the other person’s point of view. When we truly listen to what someone is saying, most of those arguments can dissolve themselves.

Special Note: Asking for clarification, or restating what has been said, are excellent ways to acknowledge that you’re listening and that they are being heard.

3. Emotional Control

Making a conscious decision not to get upset or react unfavourably, is critical to prevent conversations degenerating in to un-resourceful arguments. Emotional control also demonstrates emotional intelligence and the emotional maturity to be capable of an adult conversation.

4. Nothing To Defend

In mature conversations, there is nothing to defend. Even if you disagree with, or don’t like what they are saying. The other person’s experience of what they are sharing is valid for them. Acknowledge that is how they experienced it, even if you choose to say that was not your experience.

Be prepared to be wrong. It’s ok. Nobody is perfect and accepting your mistakes will free you from them. Holding them close or hidden will keep them alive and likely aggravate everyone.

5. Responsibility

Take responsibility for the communication and where it currently stands. Be first to apologise. Saying “Sorry” opens up closed communication and creates a safe space for the other person to do the same (if they are ready or feel they need to). Even if it’s “Sorry that you experienced what I said as criticism, that was not my intention.” They may then ask what your intention was and sharing good intentions will now bring you closer together.

6. Feelings

Share your feelings. Some people can find this confronting and for some it may even feel unnatural at first. What’s important to recognise however, is that when we realise how our actions or communication has impacted another person, we are much more capable and interested in changing our behaviours.

If someone has said something that upset you, don’t repeat the cycle by throwing it back at them, let them know that what they did or said upset you and how it made you feel. Allow them to think about it and give them the time and space to choose how to respond. As our communication matures, so does the speed and quality of our responses. Be ok to talk about how you experienced their response too – good, bad or other. “Thank you, I appreciate you taking responsibility, it restores my confidence in us.” or “I’m not sure if you understand how you made me feel, your response has left me feeling empty.” or “Thank you for taking the time to think about what I said and I appreciate you saying that, it might just be something I need time to adjust to.”

7. Respect

We are all individuals with our own set of circumstances, that have moulded our beliefs. Disagreeing with another’s point of view, opinion or belief is healthy, attacking them verbally or emotionally is not. Behaviour such as name calling, blaming, finger pointing, sarcasm, bullying, etc., are all negative behavioural/communication patterns that will erode any chance of healthy communication.

Having respect for another’s point of view or opinion is critical, even if you don’t agree with it. Argue the point, not the person.

8. Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the bonus. Forgiveness is not just for others, it is for ourselves. When we forgive another person, it lightens us from the burden they laid upon us when they ‘wronged’ us.

Most people suffer inside for the things they have done wrong and this often leads to repeated behaviour in an unfortunate attempt to prove what they did was not wrong in some way. Acknowledge that it was wrong but forgive them for their mistake and encourage them to make better decisions.

Hanging on to blame is the victim mentality. It’s unhealthy and will sap you of life. Forgive people who have wronged you and move on with your life, it’s too short not to live free of other people’s burdens.

Enlighten your life and inspire others with your mature communication.

What do you think the Number 1 Cause of Success is??

Simple, it is… taking 100% responsibility!

Some call it persistence, determination, or passion; but all those are the result of taking 100% responsibility. If you don’t yet have the result you want, what are you going to do about that? Nothing? Then we both know the result you have right now is the result you’ll ALWAYS have. True?

Now, what if you instead took responsibility for your results. No blaming anyone or anything outside of you. Not the GFC, your friends, family, the weather, stress or any other excuse you could convince someone else of, regardless of how REASONABLE you can make your argument… because let’s face it, REASONS ARE NOT RESULTS!!

Did you know prior to the internet boom, the richest people in the world made their millions during the most dire economic times. How is that possible you ask? Easy, I’ve already told you… that’s right, 100% RESPONSIBILITY!

Imagine you owned a factory that employs half the local towns people and and without it they’d all starve. Do you think you might get series about finding out how to stop your company going under? Well it’s that serious attitude, that you are 100% responsible for 100% of the results in your life, that will make them happen and anything less than 100% will end in failure. One excuse, is all it takes to unravel even the most perfectly planned approach. “I didn’t think it mattered.” Anything less than 100% is simply not 100%.

Thomas Edison didn’t fail 10,000 times making the light bulb, he simply found 10,000 ways that didn’t work. By elimination and the 100% responsibility of one man, we now live in a futuristic world taking light for granted as it emanates from virtually every device we own.

Not ready to take 100% Responsibility for 100% of the Results in your life (Good and Bad), then keep living in the dark, it’s easier there, you don’t see what you’re missing. Well, until that moment of clarity as you lie silent on your death bed.

If you are ready? I’m deeply excited for you, because life happens on the OTHER side of your comfort zone! Now go get it!! 🙂

“The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.” – Entertainer George Jessel

What a great quote. Such a true experience for so many first time speakers. I still vividly remember giving my first Best-man speech… I pretty sure all attendees would have found it hard to see where I got that ‘best-man’ title from.

Now however public speaking is an integral part of what I do and such a wonderful way to give awesome value, to a room full of small business owners and personal development enthusiasts.

If you want to lose your ‘stage fright’ join a toastmasters or consider getting professional training. You can visit the contact page if you want to talk to me directly or inquire about the trainings I run personally.

All jokes aside, tomorrow (Sat 23rd) is the final SBFV event for 2014 that I will be hosting.

It has been a wonderful journey and a lot of Small Business Owners have taken away a heap on new skills and knowledge to apply to their businesses.

I want to acknowledge all attendees, you’ve been awesome! Plus let everyone else know if you want to register for any events in the future or now, you can do so by visiting the dedicated events website here.