lost

i could have lost myself in you
willingly
but life doesn’t obey lines
and schedules
nevermind all our whims and wants
paths diverge and wander
as our highest asking is
always guiding
silently plotting to maintain beneficence
to the many;
not disregarding the one, floundering
frustrated
bitterly alone
but orchestrating in transcendent tones
the instrumentation
of the actual
not practical
truth…

we think we want what we want
when wants go endlessly unanswered
and substitutes are prostitutes
for our eyes, ears, mind and skin
the cloak and veil so very thin
anything to placate;
enervate;
obfuscate
obsession

i would have lost myself in you
unwittingly
but life doesn’t feign comfort
as inadequacy persists
it knows my breaking point
even if i choose to ignore
pretend it will resolve itself
not plague me
forevermore
shame and blame are today’s game
and what is healed in me, i pray
is loved in you
but only if i am
willing to
enter the fire
divine and unfathomable
to summon the dragon’s breath
and purity of the sun
to burn down illusions
reigniting
the eternal forge…
silence remains
and your heart
calls me again

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