The Feast of St. Viagra,

The Upright

(Psalm) At midnight I rise to praise thee * I rise before dawn and cry for help.

Collect – Almighty God, who dost make the crooked ways straight and
supporteth the upright in their afflictions; graciously hear the prayers of
thy blessed servant Viagra, who fainted at the sight of the sword but was
raised up straight to endure the pain of martyrdom, and grant us the
strength to be upright in the face of suffering and harder than stone when
confronted with the wiles of the devil.