What?!

If something could be lamer than my music listing post, what would that be? What?

What?!

Oh, TV you say? Yes TV. That would be irretrievably lame.

Whatcha watchin?

I’ve been watching The Simpsons, South Park, The Closer, Battlestar Galactica, Grey’s Anatomy, CSI, 24, The Riches, The Daily Show, Crossing Jordan, Medium, The Office, 30 Rock, Scrubs, House, Bones, and I’ll be PISSED if Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip doesn’t come back! I’m still mad that they couldn’t keep Firefly going. Doctor Who started out OK with its resurrection, but, hmmm, I seem to have gotten tired of it again, just like I did in the 1980s.

Have I grown up at all? I was raised on TV. I had unfettered access to it as a kindergartener, often rising early enough to watch Sunrise Semester or The Modern Farmer or, and this is the true horror of it, test pattern!! Yes kids, there was a time when TV stations actually signed off!! They would “conclude their broadcast day” with The Star Spangled Banner or other American anthem, and then the test pattern, which would silently (or not) occupy the screen until morning’s first show.

Now that was entertainment!!

Mornings I watch CNN Headline News with Robin & Company and our local channel for weather while I pedal the spinning bike. I SO love Robin Meade and have been watching her for a few years now. She’s so cute and genuine-seeming. When she flubs she shows just enough embarassment to let you know that she’s REAL.

I’d like to see her kick Nancy Grace’s ass. I’m not sure what that means. That Nancy Grace gets right up my nose. She’s like Bill O’Reilly, but with emotion instead of dead common sense.

Too much TV? Well maybe, but as I like to tell my NON-TV watching friends at the college where I work, the early 21st century is truly television’s GOLDEN AGE! There is too much quality entertainment being broadcast for anybody to have time to watch it all. As for my TV-watching friends, they have TIVOs that have run out of drive space. It IS too much. Too much TV! I think that I need to watch more movies.

The recent 2-hour Grey’s Anatomy was like a movie. It went on and on. And the OBGYN was given plenty of time to weave her spin off. We think it will be good, my wife and I, great cast.

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Yeah Scrubs is pretty funny most of the time. However, as I try to defend it I find that I can’t really do it. Most of the characters are one-dimensional and shallow, a la Seinfeld, and the plots and jokes are the usual sexist overcharged crap. But you know what? JD and Turk’s friendship is probably the most solid thread in the show for me. Does that mean that I’m gay?

I have never seen any of the above, but I wonder what “test pattern” could be, because in Switzerland, during breaks between two shows or when one of the channels was not broadcasting, they showed goldfish swimming around, and sometimes I did watch them, but can’t remember them either. So I thought instead of goldfish, a TV station could have simple geometrical shapes moving, similar to the screensavers of Windows98

Test patterns were static images that could be used to roughly gauge the resolution and geometry of a television set and were broadcast by the TV stations in lieu of “dead air” when there was no programming scheduled. If one turned on the TV set early enough in the morning in the early 1960s, test patterns were what one saw.

Today’s screen saver graphics are a much better alternative. Or the endless playing of horrid movies. We truly live in the Golden Age of Television. We are blessed with Endless Quality Entertainment. OK I’m stopping now …