So for starters, I have been at a conference all week for work, and didn’t get the proper opportunity to update the blog. However, I got out a little early today and wanted to share my progress and some of the story behind this little piece of fabric.

Okay so I follow this lady’s blog: Persia Lou. I got the pattern (it was free) from her blog and decided this looked baby-ish. I picked my own colors and went with it.

Not trying to gain your pity or anything, but I fucking I started this damn blanket three or four times (TO THIS EFFING POINT TOO!). The first three or four times that I decided to start over was due to messing up the edges…yes, I am a perfectionist. Then, I realized why my blanket looked so different: I was using the WRONG size hook. OMG…as a former seventh grade language arts teacher, I am highly disappointed in my inability to read the damn directions.

Okay so you can grab the pattern from the Persia Lou Blog. In this pattern, you only need to know how to crochet and double crochet. However, and in all honesty, I found her directions to be somewhat weird and a little hard to follow….maybe that’s why mine looks shittier than hers. Regardless, I am proud of my work, and I really really like it.

Raise your hand if you have ADHD? Me me me! I did most of my work while at my conference (not gonna lie…); but in reality, crocheting helps me to focus. I need to do something with my hands in order to pay attention. Correction: I need to do something with my hands that does not involve reading or scrolling through other content to pay attention. Moreover, I have the desire and need to count…thanks OCD.

I could go into a multitude of stories that detail a time when I got in trouble. But seriously, I would get reprimanded as a kid/teenager by my teachers for doodling and drawing during class. They never understood that I needed to do something outside of listening in order to pay attention and for my mind to focus. When I became a teacher, I decided that no other kid would feel bad for literally wanting to jump out of their seat because they too suffer from attention and hyperactive disorders. Therefore, I encouraged students to do what they needed to do to 1.) feel comfortable in the class, and 2.) to remain focused. One girl brought in a pair of knitting needles and knitted only during the times that I was giving direct verbal lectures. She would then put down her needles and take notes when needed. It wasn’t until years later, that I picked up her habit. I started going to faculty and staff meetings at my university with a ball of thread and a pair of knitting needles. People would look at me as if I were crazy…granted, I am…so that’s okay I guess. Recently, I was accused of not paying attention because I was knitting during a meeting. Much to everyone’s surprise, I was able to regurgitate verbatim what had been discussed in detail in the meeting. Therefore, if you struggle with attention issues, try picking up a crochet hook or a pair of needles to see if you are able to focus 🙂

Okay, I am going to get this blanket going! I shall update when I make some more progress!

Raise your hand if you were raised by women who were working moms. Okay good, so I am not alone. Then you will understand that the typical house-wifey skills were not passed down to me. I have two kids and a wonderful (soon-to-be) husband. But I am not that woman who cooks every meal, does every load of laundry, carpools to soccer with crazy soccer stickers on my car, or who was taught how to do any of the fabric arts.

I may not have the stupid little stick-figure family on my midsize SUV, cook supper every night, or do all the things that supermoms do (mainly because I have a full-time job and you can’t be full-time mom and full-time employee…just doesn’t work…trust me, I’ve tried), but the one girly-mom thing I wanted to learn was how to knit and crochet.

So after I got divorced (we can save the story for another day…it’s a wild ride), I needed a new hobby because dating was dangerous (…I mean it didn’t stop me from dating…but still, I needed something to do with my time beside look at Tinder and Match). Therefore, I picked up a pair of knitting needles and taught myself how to knit. More like YouTube taught me how to knit, but I think I will still take the credit. I made two scarves for my kids for Christmas, two hats, and then I taught myself how to knit in the round. All of this took like two years…no joke…again, full-time employee and full-time mom don’t really work well together. I learned different stitches and loved it. In the two years that I did all of this knitting, I wanted to learn how to crochet. I LOVE the look of a lacy crochet pattern, but every time I picked up my hook and tried to teach myself (via YouTube again…don’t judge me), I failed. It took like a year to understand how to chain. You think I am joking, but sadly I am not. Then, when I tried to learn how to do the single crochet (SC for all you newbies like me), the person I was watching on YouTube was trying to tell me to go through the first chain, and I was like, “WTF you talkin ’bout, yo.” As an administrator in higher education with two degrees in education, I could teach these so-called “crochet teachers” a few things about instructional presentation. Then, finally, one woman on the YouTube made it SO EXTREMELY clear. Obviously, she is a teacher…in my professional opinion of course.

So now I know how to single crochet and double crochet and now I am going to take on my first big effing project. It all started yesterday when I received an invitation in the mail to my cousin’s baby shower. She will end up being one hell of a mom–she just naturally has it. So I looked through her registry and thought of all the things I could get for her little new one; however, I decided I wanted to make something. So I decided to make her blanket. Besides, she is the type that would prefer hand-made thoughtful gifts to bought gifts any day.

However, I am scared. Did I mention I am perfectionist? Oh yeah…to the extreme. Thus, I don’t want it to look shitty. I want to do a good job, and I want to document the experience.

Join me, if you will, for the ride. I will post some picture and my reflections. I will probably say a lot of f*cking curse words, so if you’re snooty and pretentious, don’t read this blog.