Wednesday, February 02, 2011

As a Canucks fan, it is thoroughly disorienting to cheer for the best team in the league. Cheering for the Canucks and cheering for the #1 team in the NHL is like serving both God and Mammon. It creates a kind of cognitive dissonance. Take tonight for example: the Western Conference is extremely tight. A mere 5 points separate 4th place Nashville from 12th place Calgary. In this atmosphere, a 6-0 shellacking of a team in playoff contention would be greeted by giddiness and glorifying of various hockey gods for bestowing such good fortune upon the Canucks. Instead, the Canucks are so far ahead of the pack (a whopping 7 points up on 2nd place Detroit), that this solid victory is treated with placidity and calm: the Canucks won. I was entertained. I am pleased. I watched this game.

Given the plethora of goals scored by the Canucks tonight, it seems fitting to, perhaps, mention them one by one so that we may revel in them. But first I shall point out an astonishing fact: the Canucks scored 6 goals tonight. Henrik Sedin had zero points. Daniel Sedin had 1 assist and now has 5 points more than his brother. Also an astonishing fact: the regal horned lizard shoots blood out of its eyes to defend itself from, incidentally, coyotes. Is this the blood that Daniel Sedin is out for?

Alex Burrows scored the opening goal of the game, giving him a 4-game goal-scoring streak. Just like his goal last game against the Stars, this adequately demonstrated the Fourth Law of Sedinery: if the opposing team has a chance to clear the puck out of the defensive zone and instead gives the puck away to the Sedins, a Canuck goal is a foregone conclusion. It's a classic Burrows maneuver: head to the front of the net, get as close as humanly possible to the goalie, and look for the tip. The distance between his buttocks and Byzgalov's chest was approximately the width of a hadron.

The second goal was scored by Jannik Hansen off a Lee Sweatt-created rebound. Sweatt looked significantly more comfortable on the ice tonight, getting good body position in puck battles and blocking 4 shots. His jump up into the rush on Hansen's goal was a well-timed piece of offensive defensivity. Of note, Hansen came directly off the bench to score the goal, with none of his linemates having yet made the change. Thus, Malhotra and Torres were the only Canucks to finish without a plus in their +/- column and both were largely invisible tonight.

Incidentally, the sports bar Harrison and I went to tonight gave us hockey pucks with the numbers of Canucks on them. If they scored a goal, free booze. I got lucky number 36, so Jannik Hansen scored me a beer. If I ever get the chance, I'll have to buy him one. I'd start a hashtag, but #LetMeBuyYouABeerHansen just doesn't roll off the tongue. It's also vaguely creepifying.

Cody Hodgson looked NHL-ready tonight. Yes, he scored his first NHL goal (seen above) with a nifty combination of puck strength, patience, and precision, but he also showed poise in the defensive zone, aggressiveness on the forecheck, and occasional surprising bursts of speed. Combine that with a respectable 4-for-7 night on faceoffs and one might be inclined to keep him on the roster for a few more games. Hopefully that one is Mike Gillis. He's actually the one who decides that.

Seriously, though. What a fantastic goal. Ryan Kesler's first of his two goals, however, was even prettier. He dragged it around Adrian Aucoin like he wasn't even there. I was surprised Aucoin was. Quite frankly, I was surprised to be reminded he existed. Adrian Aucoin is still playing in the NHL? Wasn't he on a defensive pairing with Colin Campbell? How old is this guy?

Mason Raymond played well and scored the fifth goal of the game on the kind of simple play he needs to make more often: he uses his speed to force all-star Keith Yandle into a rash decision then heads straight for the net, turning and getting in the perfect position to chip in the Samuelsson pass. After breaking out of a 9-game scoring slump with 2 points on January 24th, he cut short a new scoring slump by scoring another 2 points only 3 games later. Raymond, along with Kesler and Hamhuis, finished a game-high +4. That's more pluses than Pepsi Lime (only +3 to Will? Lame).

And to cap things off, Kesler upped his goal total for the year to 30, marking the first 30-goal season of his career. This time he did all the work himself, picking a pocket, drawing a penalty, and sniping a corner. He seemed angry rather than celebratory after both his goals tonight and this post-game quote may shed some light: "I was kinda pissed about a couple things on the ice...I don't want to get fined so I don't want to say anything." It's a tribute to Kesler's growing maturity that he turned this anger into beautiful goals rather than post-whistle scrums.

Luongo seemed incredibly pumped to see his shutout survive a last-minute powerplay for the Coyotes. Meanwhile, Tanner Glass was likely sweating in the penalty box desperately hoping that Luongo wouldn't have him kneecapped if Phoenix scored. I'm guessing he was almost as nervous as he is about his upcoming scrabble battle. How do you spell relief? Seriously, make sure you know. I before E. Harrison loves to challenge.

I like Chris Tanev. Let's keep him.

It may have just been the lackluster quality of the televisions at the sports bar, but the coyote at center ice seemed quite jaundiced. He should see a veterinarian about that.

The Green Men revealed in our interview with the duo back in December that they would be taking their act on the road. Sure enough, they showed up right next to the penalty box in Phoenix; unfortunately, there were only 3 penalties and only one of them against the Coyotes. It didn't give them much of an opportunity to put on a show.

And finally, the fans who showed up in Canucks jerseys with the sign saying "We're actually Coyotes fans. We just dressed this way to fit in" are my new favorite people.

I too found the result of this evening's ice hockey match adequate in the main. I do agree that young Tanev is proving satisfactory and the new fellow Cory or er Cody Hodgkins (sp?) scored a goal that could very well be described as being of the goal-scorer's variety. One can't but look forward to the upcoming contest with the formerly Cup winning Blackhawks with anticipation.

Have to disagree about Torres and Malhotra being invisible. If by invisible you mean they didnt score than I can't argue but on quite a few occasions I noticed Torres doing what we brought him here for (hitting and forcing turnovers, although upon getting the puck back he would turn it over himself) and Malhotra had at least two glorious chances to score but seems to be absolutly snake bitten. Apart from that I am satisfied with tonights IWTG as well as the game itself. I guess they must have read the Dallas IWTG and took to heart your complaint about letting the other team score a goal.

Well I wrote my usual diatribe only to have Blogger have a problem posting it... Here was the gist... Raymond's trade value up... Kes never passing to him ever again... Manny/Torres/Glass the new 4th line... Mase/Cody/Tamby the new 3rd line with Hansen and Sammy on the wings with Kes.

Love the danger Tanev and Sweatt have brought with their long bombs... 4 of our top 8 are hurt... Really???? Ballard loves responsibility... Hammy & Hoff are lifers here hopefully.

Lou did not let in a soft one but everyone can ease up with the use of 'sensational'... The team is making him look good and not the other way around this time. He is much calmer in his crease but still overplays the puck at times... Luckily it did not hurt him last night. My #1 jersey value is going up regardless... I just have to decide if I sell it now or save it to keep me warm in June.

My jab at Aucoin has less to do with him and more to do with Phoenix, which seems to render hockey players invisible. Harrison and I spent most of the game being astonished that certain players were on the Coyotes.

PS Great job on the IWTG feature guys. I really look forward to it as soon as the game ends. From that point on, until I read it, I'm like a giddy giant red bearded child waiting to open his christmas presents.

just because i dont find you funny doesnt mean i lack a sense of humor. thats pretty arrogant of you...haha.

in response to your post, i have nothing to say except you guys keep exposing yourselves as canuck fanboys who have a very limited understanding of the rest of the NHL. you didnt notice rozsival and whitney were on the coyotes until yesterday's game? really? i just think people other than these "yesmen/yeswomen" commenters you have posting on nearly every thread would find your blog more compelling if you showed a deeper understanding of the nhl in general.

i do recognize the irony of me criticizing a blog by referencing all these other posts..thereby proving i fervently read a blog im criticizing. oh well..thats what haters do.

Wait, you just noticed that we're Canucks fanboys? How long have you been reading the blog? ;)

I don't think you understand that I'm joking. I am well aware that Adrian Aucoin plays for the Coyotes. I am also aware that Rozsival and Whitney were on that team. I was using hyperbole, and indicator of which should have been the reference to him being on a defensive pairing with Colin Campbell, who last played in the NHL in 1985.

Feel free to criticize the blog; we recognize it's not to everyone's tastes. But try to be more insightful than "youre not funny...so i'd wish you'd stop trying." That's just sad.

There are lots of players you wouldn't realize are on their teams until they meet the one you follow -- that's pretty normal. And particularly seeing as how Adrian Aucoin started his NHL career with the Canucks when I was still in high school (albeit not for much longer), I think his surprising longevity is very much fair game, especially because Phoenix is indeed one of those destinations where a lot of people seem to somehow end up quietly.

@J21 Absolutely, a lot of journeymen and under-the-radar players end up with the Coyotes and revitalize their careers. It's one of the reasons I was so excited to see Kyle Wellwood get a tryout with them.

Also, there's next to no media coverage of the on-ice exploits of the Coyotes, so it's easy to forget about their players. There were a lot of people scratching their heads when Keith Yandle was named to the all-star game. I wasn't one of them, but plenty of people had a tough time thinking of Yandle as an all-star until you point to the fact that he's kind of leading the NHL in points from a defenseman. He's kind of a big deal. But because he plays in Phoenix, you never hear about him.

look, skeeter, i agree that i started off this discourse by being an a-hole (thanks to the anonymity of the internet), but come on man....you dont have to treat me like a moron. i know what hyperbole is. i know your colin campbell reference was hyperbole...but you did a good job convincing me that you probably didn't know 90% of phoenix' roster. if that REALLY was hypoerbole, then hey, i believe you. maybe i should go back to grade 9 english class.

my gripe with a lot of your posts is that you often take a narrow-minded, canucks-centric approach to most issues and it just appears that you dont really know what's going on with any of the 29 other teams. if youre just a casual blogger, then whatever. you may think im a humorless idiot with no life based on my behavior here...which is fine...i dont blame you for thinking that based on this fine sample size i'm giving you. my point was, or rather suggestion...is that maybe you could not be so obvious with your ignorance of other teams. but then again...based on your audience and potential audience i guess maybe you dont need to care.

anyways -- im done with this fine back and forth for now. youll hear from me again.

Anon: Please. It's a show about nothing. You have no sense of humour, so don't even bother trying to appreciate good comedy. What about all the other great shows, like Charles in Charge, or Punky Brewster?

Friend: Oh, isn't it such a great day! I love the first warm day in spring, with the flowers blooming and whatnot!

Anon: Spring? Are you kidding me? November is an awesome month, and I never hear you go on about that! Halloween is finally over, Christmas is still a long way off... You act like you've never even heard of Remembrance Day, which is equally as great as the other more famous holidays. Easter, pfft. Chocolate egg hunts pale beside a minute's silence. THAT's a holiday.

@ryan - "Homer! There's someone here who can help you.""Is it Batman?" "No, he's a scientist." "Batman's a scientist." "It's not Batman!"

I guess from now on I will have to randomly drop references to players from other teams to prove that I know what I'm talking about. By the way, have you heard about Daniel Paille? Apparently he plays for the Boston Bruins or something. At least, that's what I've heard.

@The upset commenter who has now, unfortunately, been forever labelled as Aucoin's Mom (and I ask you, humbly, to use that handle whenever you comment from now on so that we may I identify you)

I get what ypu're saying, I do, but I think you picked a strange issue on which to attack us. I assure you that, the reason we seem to be quite Canucks-centric is that we are a Canucks blog. We are fans of the team. We cater, primarily, to fans of the team. We do delve into non-Canucks issues, but only on occasion. But come on, you had to know that. Clearly, you read us enough to know that.

I assure you that we're relatively informed about the NHL, but let's be serious.We live in a Canucks market, and since the Coyotes are rarely talked about here (except when the media gleefully report on their organizational failures), it's often a bit of a surprise when they come to town and we're reminded that the Coyotes aren't just a poorly-run business--they're a hockey team with hockey players, and some of them are pretty good. We know that these guys play for the team, but playing in Phoenix is a little like playing in the Bermuda Triangle. People have a tendency to disappear.

I appreciate your level headed response. Hopefully you can see that I'm not 1/5 as upset as my writing leads me to believe. The internet is where you have fun...and I was simply having fun. I didnt think this needed to be said but I dont know skeeter in real life and therefore, have no right to personally attack him. so if any feewings were hurt (that of skeeter or his legion of fanboys), then I am sorry.

However, you're kinda missing the point of my post. I KNOW this is a Canucks blog. I am a gigantic Canucks fan and I've been reading this blog since last spring. I don't think that many of your Army of Yes can even claim that. I do not advocate writing about stuff thats not related to the Canucks -- that would defeat the purpose of a Canucks blog...I get that much.

The point of my whining was that your partner sometimes doesn't seem to know too much about other teams. I'm too lazy to think of other examples but that's the vibe I get with his posts. Yes, I picked a weird opening to attack....but I guess I was bored. And because I gave birth to that boy 37 years ago, skeeter's shock that aucoin was on the coyotes wasn't too funny, especially since he's a top pairing d. i thought you guys played fantasy hockey -- sheesh. but yeah, youre right, its phoenix, so maybe you get a pass.

look, its boring to see the same 7 people piss praise upon this blog every post. even when its sometimes well deserved. nobody can be that perfect all the time. a little pot stirring never hurt anyone.

and @ not aucoins mom. great humor. maybe you should write for this blog.

Actually, Harrison doesn't play fantasy hockey. Just me. I'm also the one with the subscription to The Hockey News, the obsessive compulsive need to read hockey blogs all day, and the fantastic sense of humour. ;)

thanks guys, for the productive discourse in the end. skeeter, apologies for the tough guy "internet shove" in the beginning. hey, it's the internet. you just want to argue with someone abotu something even if you dont care or even believe what youre arguing for.

sometimes i just like starting stuff with bloggers to see how people respond and it's clear you guys are a mature pair. ive done this same kind of stuff to other bloggers and they flip out and get defensive. and no one else has been kind enough to give me such a delightful nickname.

cheers, guys.

ps the disallowed bolland goal was bogus. i expect a post on that by skeeter where he also expresses shock over the fact that marty turco is on the blackhawks.

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