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The winds of change are upon us. Everyone has adjusted to new teachers and surroundings. Keep practicing your math and keep reading outside of school. It will help you get where you want to go.

I highly recommend reading the book, The Gift of Failure. We need to help our students become more resilient and more independent.

What are some characteristics of resilient people?

Resilient children have similar characteristics. Note how many items on the following list are common among gifted children, and pay particular attention to those that are true of the members of your family:

compassion for others

a sense of humor

persistence in the face of failure

moral conviction or a strong code of ethics

an interest in spirituality or religion

a respectful manner

the capacity to get attention in positive ways

the ability to plan ahead

skill at problem solving

a feeling of autonomy

a positive outlook on life

the belief that one’s effort can change things

an interest in developing a special talent or hobby

a flexibility in gender roles

What is the most effective strategy for building resilience? Do some of these characteristics contribute to resilience more than others? Which might make the biggest difference?

Help your child become more optimistic in response to difficulty

A positive outlook on life is a hallmark of resilient individuals. It is not what happens to us but our response to it that predicts our emotional health. Children can learn to be more resilient by becoming more optimistic in response to difficulty. Martin Seligman’s book The Optimistic Child includes a children’s questionnaire that can help parents determine how their children think about events in their lives. The questionnaire describes 48 brief situations and asks the child to choose one of two possible explanations for each. For instance, one item asks children to decide why a substitute teacher liked them; another asks them to pick an explanation for winning a game. More important, the book includes ideas, strategies, and activities you can use in your home to cultivate a more positive outlook in all family members. If you would like to know how optimistic you are, an adult version of the questionnaire appears in a companion book, Learned Optimism. Let everyone in the family fill out the appropriate questionnaire to discover how each person sees the world and to determine in what ways family members are more negative or pessimistic. Then make a plan to increase everyone’s resilience by increasing their optimism.

The importance of a long-term relationship with a caring adult

Although a positive outlook on life is important, studies suggest that the most important predictor of positive outcomes among children who face trying circumstances is a long-term relationship with a caring adult. To begin building resilience in your child, demonstrate the conviction that life is worthwhile and recognize and reinforce the qualities that enhance resilience. For example, praise effort rather than performance. Read hopeful, optimistic stories with resilient characters, and discuss the challenges they face and the choices they make. When something happens that is upsetting to your child, brainstorm many possible reasons for the situation to prevent your child from developing black-or-white thinking. Most important, do anything and everything to enhance your child’s relationships with caring adults.

This post has been adapted from an article by Maureen Neihart published in TIP’s Digest of Gifted Research. View the original article here.

I highly recommend watching this TED talk: The Power Of Yet. It offers a little insight into how powerful working through a challenge is for our children. See related links below.