Just as you can't make an omelette without breaking some eggs (or mature cheddar, honest truth), so you cannot write about House of Cards's most shocking moments without spoilers. Do not read on unless you have either seen the series or don't mind being told what happens.

Ready? Here we go, with viewer reaction from Twitter.

1) Frank urinates on his dad's grave (episode 1)

Armed with a full presidential motorcade, Frank visits his father's grave on the anniversary of his death and asks for some time along to pay his respects. Which he then does.

2) DougStamper lives! (episode 1)

Frank's Chief of Staff – last seen being quite comprehensively hit over the head by the object of his obsessive fixations, Rachel Posner – has survived his ordeal, and grows to become a focal point for the series, albeit with severe addiction isssues and being quite mad.

Doug rebuilds his relationship with Frank's team by proving his loyalty. He also hunts down Rachel, who has already faked her own death and taken on a new identity.

Doug comes a whisker close to redemption in the finale, as Rachel points out that "she" died on the night she attacked him and that he would be killing her new persona, Cassie Lockhart. For a moment you think he will leave her be. Instead, he appears to run her over and bury her body.

3) Pussy Riot m̶e̶e̶t̶ ̶P̶u̶t̶i̶n̶ meet President Petrov (episode 3)

House of Cards sets its sight on President Putin, with Russia's "President Petrov" played by The Killing's Lars Mikkelsen.

Nadezhda Tolokonnikova and Maria Alyokhina of the protest band Pussy Riot, whom Putin imprisoned for two years in 2012, appear as less than mollifying guests at a state dinner for Petrov (mental note to the fictional White House: sack whoever is in charge of guest lists).

They give him a toast (addendum: also sack whoever is in charge of toasts) which translates as: "To Victor Petrov, who's royalty runs so deep he's given his friends half of the country, who's so open to criticism that most of his critics are in prison, the commander-in-chief who is not afraid of anyone except gays."

We are not encouraged to see eye to eye with the Russian President, not least when he kisses Claire, after making the dinner guests drink shots of vodka. "I'd push him down the stairs and light his broken body on fire just to watch it burn, if it wouldn't start a world war," Frank tells us.

However Petrov gets his dues when Frank pointedly praises Pussy Riot in a press conference. Sucks to be you, Petrov!

The episode ended with Don't Cry Genocide, a song that Pussy Riot had co-written with the New York band Le Tigre, playing over the credits.

House of Cards 3 has a guest appearance by Pussy Riot. They do a song at the end of the episode. More sharks jumped than West Side Story.

4) Frank spits on a crucifix, knocks Jesus to the floor (episode 4)

This will be quite catastrophically awkward if Frank and Claire ever decide to a) have kids b) send these kids to a good Catholic school. "How often do you go to church?" "Not often, but when I do I really put my all into it."

im only on episode 4 and frank underwood has already pissed on his fathers grave and spit on jesus. house of cards is the greatest.

5) Claire's sleeping on the job leads to a man's death (episode 6)

Frank and Claire are in Russia, attempting to get a reprieve for the imprisoned American LGBT campaigner, Michael Corrigan. Claire holes up in Corrigan's cell to try and persuade him to read a Russia-penned statement that will secure his release, but will contradict all his principles. While Claire sleeps, Corrigan hangs himself.

Dose off for just a moment and Michael Corrigan's done gone and hanged himself and Claire Underwood has caused an international incident.

6) Claire Underwood dyes her hair! (episode 7)

Arguably this should be at the top spot. Claire! Dyes! Her! Hair! How can you be an ice queen without blonde hair? Hitchcock created these rules for a reason. I have tried to ice queen, but being a redhead, I am doomed to a life time of "feistiness".

Luckily for fans of Blonde Claire, if not for Claire's independence and self-control, she was forced to dye it back in episode 10 because it didn't work well with White House focus groups.

7) Frank and his biographer (episode 10)

Thomas Yates, an author and former sex worker hired by Frank hires to churn out a biography in time for the 2016 campaign, tried to get his subject to open up over drinks and intimate secret-swapping. But this is Frank, and trying to get him to open up is an unfruitful course of action.

It looked like the episode was going to end in a hook-up, when Yates put his hand on Frank's chest as a hint. Cut that sexual tension with a knife! I'm not entirely convinced that Frank has any feelings anymore, but he came so close to having one here.

I'm ready for frank and Yates to jump each other but i'll be quiet/patient