WOW! That's not even on ESPN yet! Just desperate. They see Lakers/Pheonix making trades and feel they have to do something. In my opinion it doesn't really help them because they now have an even larger hole in the middle for Bynum/Gasol/Shaq/Duncan/Garnett to take advantage of.

WOW! That's not even on ESPN yet! Just desperate. They see Lakers/Pheonix making trades and feel they have to do something. In my opinion it doesn't really help them because they now have an even larger hole in the middle for Bynum/Gasol/Shaq/Duncan/Garnett to take advantage of.

In the wake of their acquisition of Pau Gasol -- a trade that cost them nothing of value -- two of their biggest rivals for Western Conference supremacy responded by dealing key pieces of their core for Eastern Conference legends in their mid-30s. First, of course, came Phoenix's deal for Shaquille O'Neal last week, and now the Mavericks have jumped in with today's close-to-completion deal for Jason Kidd.

This isn't nearly as bad as the Shaq trade -- let me get that out of the way up front. But it has the same whiff of panic to it, coming as it did after the Mavs suffered consecutive whippings at the hands of second-tier Eastern teams, and following Mark Cuban's insistence that Dallas wouldn't unload half its team for Kidd.

But that's exactly what they're about to do. Dallas is about to send Devin Harris, Jerry Stackhouse, DeSagana Diop, Devean George, Maurice Ager, cash and two first-round picks to New Jersey for Kidd, Antoine Wright, Malik Allen and a second-rounder. (Technically it would be two trades, with Wright for a No. 2 as a side deal in order to meet league roster requirements).

Obviously, the two protagonists are Kidd and Harris. So let me ask you a provocative question that I brought up when the three-way version of this deal was kicked around: Would you trade Harris for Kidd, straight up?

Based on notoriety alone, most would offer a quick yes. But shine that light a little closer. Kidd's PER this season is 16.07, while Harris is way ahead at 18.66. This may shock some people who have only seen the reports of his triple-doubles, but Kidd is scoring at a much lower rate this season, shooting a hideous 36.7 percent from the field, and his turnover rate has skyrocketed. While he's far from the only culprit, his decline is one reason the Nets are 25th in offensive efficiency; the Mavs, in contrast, are second with Harris as quarterback.

Per 40 minutes, Harris averages nearly seven points more; that's huge. He also gets to the line more than twice as often and shoots a far better percentage from the field. His true shooting percentage of 59.2 dwarfs Kidd's 48.3. Think about that difference for a second -- for every nine shots they take (including free-throw sessions), Harris has a one-point advantage.

Finally, Harris is a huge plus at the defensive end, where he has the quickness to defend the Parkers, Pauls and Nashes of the West and was second in the league in offensive fouls drawn last season, according to 82games.com. By my methods, he was the best defensive point guard in the league in 2006-07. Unfortunately, the one guy he struggled against was Baron Davis, a fact that may be seared in the Mavs' memories given how last season ended.

Kidd's two big advantages are passing and rebounding, and they're gargantuan differences, make no mistake. But if you break it down, it seems his numbers in those two categories might decline in Dallas' system.

As far as assists go, the Mavs are one of the league's most isolation-heavy teams and annually have among the league's lowest rates of assisted baskets; the Nets are the opposite and are annually among the highest. It's possible Dallas changes some of that to take advantage of Kidd, of course, but somehow I imagine the high-post isos for Dirk Nowitzki and Josh Howard will remain the bread-and-butter of the offense.

Additionally, Kidd's passing skills are most lethal in transition, but the Mavs run infrequently. While some still imagine this as a Wild West Don Nelson outfit, Dallas has been one of the league's slowest-paced teams ever since Avery Johnson took over.

Getting The Point

Kidd's trade at least allows the NBA to undo a grave injustice. Voted in as a starter in the East, Kidd would now presumably suit up with the West on Sunday.

To fill his vacated spot, the league could tab Toronto point guard Jose Calderon, whose ridiculous efficiency was somehow overlooked by Eastern Conference coaches when they chose the reserves. It would be a poetic justice, as it was Kidd's selection as a starter that effectively cost Calderon a much-deserved spot in the first place.

On the rebounds, New Jersey's frontcourt rebounding was historically bad for the first two months of this season, as I mentioned in another piece earlier on -- leaving a ton of boards available for Kidd to grab. In fact, Kidd's rebound rate has declined quite a bit since Josh Boone took over for Jason Collins, as fewer caroms were left over for the guards. Similarly, he won't have as many boards available for him to snag in Dallas, where the Mavs are already seventh in the league in defensive rebound rate (nearly all of Kidd's boards are defensive).

OK, so he won't score as much as Harris and he might lose a bit on his rebounds and assists. One can still come up with some offsetting positives. For starters, Kidd is a leader in a locker room that appears in need of one. Dallas' testicular fortitude has been questioned in the past two postseasons, so perhaps he can make a difference there. And it's possible he'll be more motivated in Big D than he was in New Jersey; at the very least, I suspect he'll suffer from fewer headaches.

In addition, Kidd is a good defender against bigger guards, which means Dallas might be able to play him and Jason Terry together for 40 minutes and dispense with the 30 scoreless minutes they're getting each night from the Eddie Jones-Trenton Hassell combo. (Although just in case they get nostalgic, Wright's addition makes it a trio of wing guys who can defend but can't score).

But before you get too excited, look into the future. Kidd is 10 years older and costs five times as much; even after Harris' extension kicks in he'll be triple the cost. Which player do you think you'd rather have in 2008-09? What about in 2009-10, presuming the Mavs extend Kidd, when he'll be 36 and Harris 26?

I know, I know -- this move was made primarily with this season in mind. So let's say after all that you still like Kidd better than Harris. Do you like him so much better that you're willing to include Stackhouse and Diop and two first-round draft choices?

Diop was Dallas' starting center and best low-post defender (Side note: guess that Shaq trade had them real worried, huh?), while Stackhouse was one of their most important bench players. In fact, the irony of this trade is that a big reason for Dallas' recent struggles is that Harris and Stackhouse have been injured.

The Mavs are 4-4 since Harris went out; Stackhouse has played only once in that time, for just 11 minutes. It's an ugly 4-4 too. Of the wins, two were against Memphis and one was Milwaukee; the losses included one-sided setbacks against Detroit, New Jersey and Philadelphia.

That takes us to an aspect of this trade nobody is paying any attention to: Harris' huge impact on the Mavs' success over the past two seasons. In 2006-07, when Dallas won 67 games, guess who had the biggest on-court/off-court point differential? Hint: It wasn't the MVP. According to 82games.com, Dallas was a whopping +14.2 points per 48 minutes with Harris on the court. Moreover, the Harris-Nowitzki combo was the single most effective player combination in the league.

This year, the Harris-Terry-Howard-Nowitzki-Dampier unit has played 164 minutes together and outscored opponents by 43 points (that's a whopping 12.6 points per 48 minutes). The four most common Harris-Terry arrangements all have massively positive point differentials, adding up to an advantage of +20.7 points per 48 minutes(!). So much for the idea that you can't play two small guards together.

No, we're not done yet -- there's one final point to consider. The Nets will likely buy out Stackhouse, but there's no guarantee Dallas will be able to re-sign him; in fact, by rule they aren't allowed to for 30 days.

In the meantime, is it that hard to imagine bench-starved Cleveland diving in with the $4.1 million remaining on its midlevel exception, or the Pistons ($3.86 million) bringing him back to Motown to replace the struggling Jarvis Hayes? For that matter, what about the Spurs ($4.4 million) or Suns (full midlevel) breaking out the wampum just to spite their Western rivals? Keep in mind, too, that these salaries would be prorated for the rest of this year, lowering the luxury tax hit those teams would take.

In the final analysis, then, it seems Dallas gave up quite a bit to make what is, even with the most rose-colored glasses, a marginal upgrade at the point. It's possible it could work, but my issue with this deal is that the risk and reward seem out of line. Much like Phoenix with the Shaq deal, I can't help but wonder if the Mavs are fixated on what Kidd was 18 months ago rather than what he'll be over the next 18 months.

Let me repeat that I'm not nearly not as down on this trade as I am on Phoenix's. But on balance, I think it puts Dallas farther from a title rather than closer. And as a result, I suspect Lakers GM Mitch Kupchak may be having a quiet chuckle when he checks his Blackberry today.

Well..I didn't before but I'm definitely forking out the loot for NBA League Pass now - The second half should be very interesting to put it mildly. The Western Conf. basically reaped the benefits from the firesales taking place in the east.

I think this is a good move for the Mavs - if the trade as it's been reported stays in place - Kidd for Harris is an improvement and more than makes up for losing stackhouse and a couple of reserves..Dallas still keeps their future (Howard and adds a future HOF to set up Dirk)

Thank God. Why Dallas would want to do this trade is beyond me. Kidd's best years are long gone. They are trading 4 serviceable players AND draft picks AND cash to make this deal? What's in Mark Cuban's needle sticking out of his arm?

Thank God. Why Dallas would want to do this trade is beyond me. Kidd's best years are long gone. They are trading 4 serviceable players AND draft picks AND cash to make this deal? What's in Mark Cuban's needle sticking out of his arm?

Kidd is playing some of his best basketball right now. ANY team with the addition of Jason Kidd is a better team. Only thing Devin Harris is better at is scoring. Jason Kidd won't even need to do very much scoring in Dallas with Terry, Howard, and Nowitzki. I'd love to see Kidd in Dallas though. Hopefully they can work it out.

Kidd is playing some of his best basketball right now. ANY team with the addition of Jason Kidd is a better team. Only thing Devin Harris is better at is scoring. Jason Kidd won't even need to do very much scoring in Dallas with Terry, Howard, and Nowitzki. I'd love to see Kidd in Dallas though. Hopefully they can work it out.

Devin is actually one of the best defenders in the league at the 1 spot. He has the quickness to keep up with the Tony Parkers, Monta Ellis', etc. of the league. Jason Kidd is better at defending the Baron Davis' of the league.

Nelson: Hi, Devean. So are you ready to be a Net? We sure do appreciate the time you've spent here in Dallas.

George: Yeah, about that. I hate to mess things up for you, but I'm not going to New Jersey. I'm invoking my no-trade clause.

Nelson: Ha! Good one. A no-trade clause given to Devean George. Very funny. Like no-trade clauses are given to average, run-of-the-mill players. Good one, Devean. We're going to miss your sense of humor around here. I don't think Jason Kidd is a cut-up like you.

George: No, really. I have a no-trade clause. Check my contract.

[Tosses contract onto Nelson's desk.]

Nelson: Sweet mercy! You do have a no-trade clause! How did this happen?

George: I think it was a typo. Probably something left in the contract template from an offer you made to a good player. But it doesn't matter. It's there. And I'm killing the trade.

Nelson: But why?! Why would you do that to us? You can get your 12 minutes off the bench anywhere. We were getting Jason Kidd! We were finally going to win a championship!

George: You can win a championship with me. I can do everything Jason Kidd does.

Nelson: Oh, really? Jason Kidd is a surefire Hall of Famer. You are a spot starter.

George: I can rebound.

Nelson: Jason Kidd can rebound better.

George: I am unselfish.

Nelson: Jason Kidd is one of the most unselfish players ever.

George: I can shoot 3s.

Nelson: Jason Kidd can … look, we have enough players who can shoot 3s. Come on, this is ridiculous. What is the real reason you are sabotaging us? Why won't you go to New Jersey?

George: I don't want to uproot my family. We set down roots here in Dallas.

Nelson: Well, that is a fair concern. I can understand that. Wait … you aren't married. You don't have any kids.

George: Crap. I thought you would buy that one.

[Another knock at the door.]

Nelson: Come in.

[Mark Cuban comes into the room dancing the cha-cha, a lively dance of excitement.]

Mark Cuban: Hey, dudes! Whaaaazzzzz-up!

[Cuban gives awkward high-fives to George and Nelson while continuing to cha-cha around the room.]

Cuban: Is this trade going to be awesome or what, dawgs? Jason Kidd, baby!

Nelson: Yeah, about that. Devean is invoking his no-trade clause. The deal is dead.

Cuban: WHAT?!

[Cuban stops dancing for a moment. And then suddenly begins dancing the paso doble -- an angry, aggressive dance.]

George: Yeah. Sorry, Mr. Cuban. But I want to stay here.

Cuban: How dare you cross me! Do you know what I do to people who cross me?! Do you know what I did to Donald Trump?

George: What? What did you do to Donald Trump?

Cuban: Well … I, um … well, I wrote a very cutting blog post about him, that's what. And I'm going to do the same to you.

OK. Now, Devean. Let's get back on track. What is the real reason you are killing this trade?

Cuban: And that's that! All done, Devean George. You have totally been dissed on my blog. I hope you are happy with yourself. And you're out of luck if you ever hope to be interviewed or profiled on HDNet. Sucks to be you. R-O-T-F-L-M-A-O!

George: Did you just say "R-O-T-F-L-M-A-O"?

Cuban: Yes. L-O-L.

George: Jeez, you are such a dork.

[Cuban creepily stares George down. He then turns and quicksteps out of the room, taking Avery Johnson as his partner.]

[Another knock at the door.]

Nelson: Yes. Come in.

Dirk Nowitzki: Hallo.

Nelson: Hello, Dirk.

George: Hi, Dirk.

Nowitzki: Devean, I am happy that Jason Kidd is coming to Dallas. But I am sorry to see you go. I have made you a mix tape of David Hasselhoff love ballads. They express what I feel toward you. I hope you enjoy it. Here you go.

[Nowitzki hands mix tape to George.]

Nelson: Dirk, bad news. Devean here has nixed the trade. He has a no-trade clause.

Nowitzki: [Loud cursing in German.] No! This can't be! Jason Kidd and I were going to be playoff magic. He would draw the double-team and then feed me the ball for wide-open, fall-away jumpers at the top of the key. [More loud cursing in German.]

Devean! Give me back my Hasselhoff mix tape! You don't deserve it!

[Nowitzki rips the Hasselhoff tape away from George and clutches it to his heart.]

Nelson: Dirk, just calm down a minute. Are you angry at Devean right now?

Nowitzki: Yes.

Nelson: Do you hate him even?

Nowitzki: Yes.

Nelson: Then give him the Hasselhoff tape. He definitely deserves it.

[Nowitzki gives the tape back to George and leaves the room, muttering, "Auf Wiedersehen."]

Nelson: OK, Devean. We are finally alone again. Now tell me the real reason you are killing this Jason Kidd trade.

[A cell phone rings.]

George: Excuse me. I have to take this.

[George whispers into the phone: "Yeah, I'm here with him now. Just a minute." And then hands the cell phone to Nelson.]

Kupchak: Oh, I knew before you did, Donn. Remember who you signed Devean away from two years ago?

Nelson: Yeah, you guys -- the Lakers.

Kupchak: Exactly. He signed with you, but he is still working as an operative for us. Enjoy watching us destroy you in the playoffs with Kobe and Gasol while Jason Kidd rots away in New Jersey! Bwaah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Bwaah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Nelson: Noooooooo! Kupchaaaaaaaaaak!

DJ Gallo is the founder and sole writer of the sports satire site SportsPickle.com. He is also a regular contributor to ESPN The Magazine and has written for The Onion and Cracked. His first book – "SportsPickle Presents: The View from the Upper Deck" – is on sale now.

Nelson: Hi, Devean. So are you ready to be a Net? We sure do appreciate the time you've spent here in Dallas.

George: Yeah, about that. I hate to mess things up for you, but I'm not going to New Jersey. I'm invoking my no-trade clause.

Nelson: Ha! Good one. A no-trade clause given to Devean George. Very funny. Like no-trade clauses are given to average, run-of-the-mill players. Good one, Devean. We're going to miss your sense of humor around here. I don't think Jason Kidd is a cut-up like you.

George: No, really. I have a no-trade clause. Check my contract.

[Tosses contract onto Nelson's desk.]

Nelson: Sweet mercy! You do have a no-trade clause! How did this happen?

George: I think it was a typo. Probably something left in the contract template from an offer you made to a good player. But it doesn't matter. It's there. And I'm killing the trade.

Nelson: But why?! Why would you do that to us? You can get your 12 minutes off the bench anywhere. We were getting Jason Kidd! We were finally going to win a championship!

George: You can win a championship with me. I can do everything Jason Kidd does.

Nelson: Oh, really? Jason Kidd is a surefire Hall of Famer. You are a spot starter.

George: I can rebound.

Nelson: Jason Kidd can rebound better.

George: I am unselfish.

Nelson: Jason Kidd is one of the most unselfish players ever.

George: I can shoot 3s.

Nelson: Jason Kidd can look, we have enough players who can shoot 3s. Come on, this is ridiculous. What is the real reason you are sabotaging us? Why won't you go to New Jersey?

George: I don't want to uproot my family. We set down roots here in Dallas.

Nelson: Well, that is a fair concern. I can understand that. Wait you aren't married. You don't have any kids.

George: Crap. I thought you would buy that one.

[Another knock at the door.]

Nelson: Come in.

[Mark Cuban comes into the room dancing the cha-cha, a lively dance of excitement.]

Mark Cuban: Hey, dudes! Whaaaazzzzz-up!

[Cuban gives awkward high-fives to George and Nelson while continuing to cha-cha around the room.]

Cuban: Is this trade going to be awesome or what, dawgs? Jason Kidd, baby!

Nelson: Yeah, about that. Devean is invoking his no-trade clause. The deal is dead.

Cuban: WHAT?!

[Cuban stops dancing for a moment. And then suddenly begins dancing the paso doble -- an angry, aggressive dance.]

George: Yeah. Sorry, Mr. Cuban. But I want to stay here.

Cuban: How dare you cross me! Do you know what I do to people who cross me?! Do you know what I did to Donald Trump?

George: What? What did you do to Donald Trump?

Cuban: Well I, um well, I wrote a very cutting blog post about him, that's what. And I'm going to do the same to you.

OK. Now, Devean. Let's get back on track. What is the real reason you are killing this trade?

Cuban: And that's that! All done, Devean George. You have totally been dissed on my blog. I hope you are happy with yourself. And you're out of luck if you ever hope to be interviewed or profiled on HDNet. Sucks to be you. R-O-T-F-L-M-A-O!

George: Did you just say "R-O-T-F-L-M-A-O"?

Cuban: Yes. L-O-L.

George: Jeez, you are such a dork.

[Cuban creepily stares George down. He then turns and quicksteps out of the room, taking Avery Johnson as his partner.]

[Another knock at the door.]

Nelson: Yes. Come in.

Dirk Nowitzki: Hallo.

Nelson: Hello, Dirk.

George: Hi, Dirk.

Nowitzki: Devean, I am happy that Jason Kidd is coming to Dallas. But I am sorry to see you go. I have made you a mix tape of David Hasselhoff love ballads. They express what I feel toward you. I hope you enjoy it. Here you go.

[Nowitzki hands mix tape to George.]

Nelson: Dirk, bad news. Devean here has nixed the trade. He has a no-trade clause.

Nowitzki: [Loud cursing in German.] No! This can't be! Jason Kidd and I were going to be playoff magic. He would draw the double-team and then feed me the ball for wide-open, fall-away jumpers at the top of the key. [More loud cursing in German.]

Devean! Give me back my Hasselhoff mix tape! You don't deserve it!

[Nowitzki rips the Hasselhoff tape away from George and clutches it to his heart.]

Nelson: Dirk, just calm down a minute. Are you angry at Devean right now?

Nowitzki: Yes.

Nelson: Do you hate him even?

Nowitzki: Yes.

Nelson: Then give him the Hasselhoff tape. He definitely deserves it.

[Nowitzki gives the tape back to George and leaves the room, muttering, "Auf Wiedersehen."]

Nelson: OK, Devean. We are finally alone again. Now tell me the real reason you are killing this Jason Kidd trade.

[A cell phone rings.]

George: Excuse me. I have to take this.

[George whispers into the phone: "Yeah, I'm here with him now. Just a minute." And then hands the cell phone to Nelson.]

Kupchak: Oh, I knew before you did, Donn. Remember who you signed Devean away from two years ago?

Nelson: Yeah, you guys -- the Lakers.

Kupchak: Exactly. He signed with you, but he is still working as an operative for us. Enjoy watching us destroy you in the playoffs with Kobe and Gasol while Jason Kidd rots away in New Jersey! Bwaah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Bwaah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Nelson: Noooooooo! Kupchaaaaaaaaaak!

DJ Gallo is the founder and sole writer of the sports satire site SportsPickle.com. He is also a regular contributor to ESPN The Magazine and has written for The Onion and Cracked. His first book  "SportsPickle Presents: The View from the Upper Deck"  is on sale now.