This Or That (8/6/2014)

Everybody loves binary decisions, especially wrestling fans! In This Or That, we’ve forced ourselves to choose between two options that relate to wrestling.

Over four questions, @TimWelcomed, @JoeySplashwater and @TomBlargh will have to choose one of two options and give their reasoning on each of their choices. You can then vote on which one you’d choose, giving you the false impression that you’re somehow involved and we care about your opinion chance to join the conversation!

Which Summerslam match would you rather be removed from the card?

More refreshing cold drink on a hot Summer day?

More likely to wrestle another match in a WWE ring: Hulk Hogan or CM Punk?

Hulk Hogan says he wants one more match. Paul Heyman says CM Punk never wants to have another match. Who is more likely to have one?

Tim:

I’m not 100% sure we will ever see CM Punk wrestle in WWE again but I don’t see Hogan passing the medical exams WWE makes wrestlers go through. He might wrestle in a tag team match where all he does is tag in, punch someone, does his taunts, and pins them. I am going to feel guilty if that comes to fruition because I put that out into the universe just now and it came to be. It would be my fault. So, no. That will not happen.

CM Punk

Joey:

You’d think CM Punk eventually comes back to wrestling because it’s wrestling and you’d think WWE never allows someone as old or prone to injury as Hulk Hogan to wrestle again but I’m going the other way. For better or worse, CM Punk is his own person and believes in his principles and I see him never wrestling again because he wants to be the guy who quit and never came back.

On the flip side, I can definitely see Hogan getting another match even if something silly like Bret Hart’s WWE matches vs. Vince McMahon and The Miz. Hell, I can realistically see them putting him out there vs. Cena like he hopes in desperation of saving The Network if business doesn’t pick up by Wrestlemania or Summerslam 2015.

Hulk Hogan

Tom:

I’m almost 100% sure that we’ll see another Hogan match, but for some reason, I just don’t see it as happening in a WWE ring – maybe some kind of multi-man tag match, but not a singles match (which is how I’m choosing to interpret this question). After Lawler almost dying, I think they’re extra conscious that having a ‘legend’ die or be crippled on live TV is maybe not the best idea, and Hogan seems barely mobile right now. However, I do think he’ll do something independently or with some wacky Japanese company eventually.

Meanwhile, I think we’ll see CM Punk back in a year or two. Yes, he’s incredibly stubborn and principled and I’m sure he’s in love with the idea of being the one guy who never comes back… but he’s still never had that Wrestlemania main event. What’s more, the sad truth is that there’s really not much out there for former wrestlers who don’t want to wrestle. He could start a podcast, he could do more live appearances and he could try and segue into becoming an actor or a generic ‘personality’, but all his strengths seem to be built around wrestling and I think he’ll realise that eventually. If he DOES transition into doing something that he’s happy with, great! I just think it’s unlikely.

Who will win more matches on TV/PPV for the rest of the year: Cesaro or Heath Slater?

Cesaro is losing every week and continues to fall. Heath Slater defeated Seth Rollins. Who will win more matches for the rest of 2014?

Tim:

Cesaro’s status in WWE is really a bummer, especially after feeling WWE was behind him for a bit there. Maybe they’re building up some weird and useless feud between these two? I don’t know. I’m still going through the stages of grief here. I don’t see this lasting for too much longer without the world crashing into a historically dark time. Slater will go back to jobbing. Cesaro will overcome and become King of King Mountain in King Land.

Cesaro

Joey:

I definitely think Heath Slater is going to get a little push of winning pointless matches and may get a midcard title shot eventually before falling back to the Network exclusive TV shows. I think Cesaro is going to be on a big losing streak for the next few months before getting some occasional wins in the mid-card picture. I can’t believe I’m saying it but I got Heath Slater due to the next 2-3 months of television wins I foresee.

Heath Slater

Tom:

What a weird month it’s been for both guys. Cesaro to be on a real down-swing (SWING, GEDDIT, SHIT SORRY THAT WASN’T INTENTIONAL) and Slater seems to be in the process of being rebranded as something more than a joke. I think Slater’s really pretty good, but I doubt it’ll last too long. Meanwhile, with Cesaro… man, it’s tough to say.

I still see similarities between Cesaro and Bryan, in terms of how strangely Bryan was booked through 2010 and most of 2011. Eventually, Bryan overcame all the stop-start nonsense and was allowed to be an upper-level star, but it really was touch and go for a while. Cesaro’s also good enough that I think the current ‘message’ being sent to him (whatever that message is) will only be temporary, but I can’t say I’m too confident in that.

Who do you side with in their Twitter feud: Taz or Vince Russo?

Taz is an ass hat. He is an intolerable person… but Vince Russo, since getting Twitter, has confirmed to me that he is the damned devil. Everyone needs to stay away from him before they’re trapped in one of his sinister schemes of chaos. I hate to say it but I am pro-Taz here solely because I can’t support someone as scary as Russo. Also it should be noted that Taz is as much about the TNA brand as Russo is his own so there is a level of hypocrisy from The Orange One.

Taz

Joey:

I’m on a huge anti-Vince Russo kick lately. He’s so good at manipulating others into buying into him that I am seeing how he kept a job in TNA for so long. Fans who once hated him are buying his podcast and now he’s profiting off of costing TNA their TV deal by writing blogs, books, scripts, starting podcasts and creating a brand off of the drama in the TNA fallout.

While Taz is a complete goon who can’t express himself properly, I totally understand any talent in TNA being livid at Russo building his brand on the back of possibly costing TNA its existence and their jobs in an “accidental” email. I think they should settle the score in a verbal debate where neither is allowed to say the word “bro.”

Dipping cookies in frozen yogurt: Yay or nay?

Brad Ward once announced to the world that he “likes to dip cookies in froyo”. This was later revealed to be yet another shameful lie, but do you support the concept?

Tim:

Dipping cookies into froyo is simply the wrong use of your froyo eating time. It No need to even try it. Get some real toppings like:

Blueberries

Sprinkles

Granola

Cherries

If you have had a really bad day: Gummy Bears

Nay. You’d have to be a madman.

Joey:

You must be higher than Brad Van Dam if you think dipping cookies in froyo is a remotely good idea. Coincidentally I loved dipping cookies in ice cream when BradVanDam’inating and having both parties together but I digress. However, you CAN’T dip cookies in frozen yogurt. It is meant to be TOPPED, not DIPPED in. You’re a jabronie mark disgracing the sanctity of frozen yogurt if you’re dipping. I will allow adding cookie bites on it but no dipping.

Here’s what a true expert on the froyo BIZ gets on his:

Cherries

Cheesecake bites

Sprinkles

M&Ms

Strawberries

IF I’m feeling froggy, Easter Peeps.

Nay

Tom:

Cookies lack the basic structural integrity for them to be dipped into froyo without it being a frustrating experience. Nobody needs that mess. Here are my top froyo topping tips: