C: Look, my lad. I've had enough of this. The parrot is definitely deceased (9). When I bought it 'alf (4) an hour ago you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to its being tired and shagged out (10) after a long squawk (11).

S: Well, it' got to be pining for (12) the fiords.

C:Pining for (12) the fiords? What kind of talk is that? Look, why did it fall flat on its back the moment I got it home?

C: It's not pining (12), it's passed on (17). This parrot is no more. It has ceased (18) to be. It's expired (19) and gone to meet its maker (20). This is a late (21) parrot. It's a stiff (22), bereft of (23) life, it rests in peace. If you hadn't nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the daisies (24). It's rung down the curtain (25); joined the choir invisible (26). This is an ex-parrot!

S: Well, I'd better replace it, then.

C: If you want to get anything done in this country you got to complain till you're blue in the mouth (27).

S: Er..., sorry guv', we're out of parrots.

C: I see, I see, I get the picture.

S: I've got a slug (28).

C: Does it talk?

S: Not really, no.

C: Well, it's scarcely a replacement then, is it?

S: Listen, I tell you what, I'll tell you what: if you go to my brother's pet shop in Bolton, he'll replace the parrot for you.