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Have to do "controlled crying" with very attached little 9 mth old girl to sleep in her crib tonight....help!!!!

If anyone has done this please give me some advice or inspiration, the dr told me to do it because my ankles and feet are swollen in the morning from sleeping in the rocking chair in her room holding her. She will sleep in her crib just wakes constantly wanting to sleep on me! She was born early and has issues with weight. She is only 12 pounds now. I have had to feed her every four hours until this month and that Is another reason dr says its time, I had no choice before because I had to feed her all night, another reason she is so used to waking up. She is so tiny and fragile looking I feel so sorry for her and she also gags and acts like she is choking when she cries or even hollers out in joy?!?!? That also freaks me out and makes me not want to let her cry. The dr says to sit by her crib ten minutes then in the doorway so she knows I'm there, this makes me think she will cry worse though if she see's me?! Supernanny says go in after two minutes and say sweet I love you'd and leave and keep doubling the time 2,4,8,16 etc, until she is asleep. I was supposed to. Start last night while my 5 year old is with grandparents so he won't have to hear it, but I couldn't....please help!!!!

that. I should've done earlier but atleast she can't say mama help or something like that yet!!!! ;)

Quoting frndlyfn:

Yes she was. I am glad i followed my gut on her sleeping habits since now at age 6 (according to my mom) she is the easiest of all the grandkids to fall asleep when it is time. We live in a small apartment so had to get a handle on the sleeping routine so neighbors werent disturbed. Just to warn you she did not completely sleep through the night , 8 or more hours, until age 3 but at least she was able to sleep and wake up without the screaming.

If my baby was born so small, I would be constantly worried as well since crying can stress the body out especially if she is gagging/choking.

Quoting Camsmom101007:

Thank you! And was she crying thru this?

Quoting frndlyfn:

I would invest in an inflatable mattress to put by her bed so that if she wakes up, you can pat her hand through the bars to reassure her while you are still able to lay down. I did that when dd was about this age when she got scared.

Thats absurd rd and only one person. All three of mine were in their own beds by 18mo

Quoting chefmartha:

Oh Please! All three of my kids, including my preemie, have slept on their own since they were born. We had a basinet next to the bed that we slept in. As soon as they were sleeping through the night they were moved into their own room. We used a baby monitor and never had a problem. My SIL, on the other hand, had her girls sleep with her. She has just recently gotten her bed back. Both girls finally began sleeping in their own rooms and beds when they were thirteen. The only reason she had them sleep with her to begin with was because she could only afford the one bed. But I'm sorry kids don't belong sleeping in the parent's bed.

The trick is to get her laying back down before it becomes a hard cry and you may have to help her lay back down. DD was in a pack n play so she couldnt really climb out of it LOL. Another trick is if she is just missing you is to put the shirt you were wearing that day near her in the crib so that she can still sense your smell but you are not physically there.

Quoting Camsmom101007:

She just started pulling up so now I have to worry about

that. I should've done earlier but atleast she can't say mama help or something like that yet!!!! ;)

Quoting frndlyfn:

Yes she was. I am glad i followed my gut on her sleeping habits since now at age 6 (according to my mom) she is the easiest of all the grandkids to fall asleep when it is time. We live in a small apartment so had to get a handle on the sleeping routine so neighbors werent disturbed. Just to warn you she did not completely sleep through the night , 8 or more hours, until age 3 but at least she was able to sleep and wake up without the screaming.

If my baby was born so small, I would be constantly worried as well since crying can stress the body out especially if she is gagging/choking.

Quoting Camsmom101007:

Thank you! And was she crying thru this?

Quoting frndlyfn:

I would invest in an inflatable mattress to put by her bed so that if she wakes up, you can pat her hand through the bars to reassure her while you are still able to lay down. I did that when dd was about this age when she got scared.

Thank you thank you thank you! My confidence is building which is what I wanted from this ......I mean do you see all this above!? I'm like really? People are responding to something I didn't ask.....

Quoting frndlyfn:

The trick is to get her laying back down before it becomes a hard cry and you may have to help her lay back down. DD was in a pack n play so she couldnt really climb out of it LOL. Another trick is if she is just missing you is to put the shirt you were wearing that day near her in the crib so that she can still sense your smell but you are not physically there.

Quoting Camsmom101007:

She just started pulling up so now I have to worry about

that. I should've done earlier but atleast she can't say mama help or something like that yet!!!! ;)

Quoting frndlyfn:

Yes she was. I am glad i followed my gut on her sleeping habits since now at age 6 (according to my mom) she is the easiest of all the grandkids to fall asleep when it is time. We live in a small apartment so had to get a handle on the sleeping routine so neighbors werent disturbed. Just to warn you she did not completely sleep through the night , 8 or more hours, until age 3 but at least she was able to sleep and wake up without the screaming.

If my baby was born so small, I would be constantly worried as well since crying can stress the body out especially if she is gagging/choking.

Quoting Camsmom101007:

Thank you! And was she crying thru this?

Quoting frndlyfn:

I would invest in an inflatable mattress to put by her bed so that if she wakes up, you can pat her hand through the bars to reassure her while you are still able to lay down. I did that when dd was about this age when she got scared.

If she is that tiny and fragile then dont do it, you her mommy you know what you feel is best! She is so tiny, I dont think its the right thing to do, and if it feels wrong in your heart then you know its wrong! PLEASE DONT DO THIS TO YOUR BABY!

My motto is what ever helps everyone n the house get the most sleep is what you should do. If baby does not sleep well without you and your not sleeping well sitting up then take baby and lay down in bed. There are safe ways to co sleep and doing it in a chair is one of the unsafe ways. I suggest just bringing her into bed for now. If you really would rather her be in her own crib then bring it into your room and put it next to your bed so you can be right by her while your transitioning her into the crib.

If you're not comfortable with it, do not do it, plain and simple. If you are comfortable, then try it. Fact is, the pediatrician is there to take care of your child's body, not their mind and not their behavior. They are not a therapist, they are not a psychiatrist, they are simply opinionated. You don't have to do anything you don't want to.

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