An ongoing journey through substance abuse and eating disorders.

Self-Destruction: Update #1

I e-mailed my therapist today and told her that I wanted to seek treatment with someone else. Lie! She still wants me to come in for my next scheduled appointment on Thursday. I told her that I’d let her know about that in the next day or two. I may humor her and go still. I don’t know yet.

I still have my assessment at Hazelden tomorrow after work. They won’t take me until I’m detoxed. Since I’m not planning on not using anytime soon, so I don’t anticipate being back there in the near future. I suppose, if I do come to my senses and get clean, that I’ll at least have that box checked.

The psychiatrist I normally see would rather I see the doctor who would be prescribing me Suboxone for my other psych meds as well. So, I’m on an indefinite hold with him and not scheduled to go in again at this time.

Finally, I have an appointment with the doctor who is willing to get me on Suboxone one week from today. I guess the big question is if I decide I don’t want to die before then. If I ‘choose life’ (Trainspotting!), I guess I’ll start on the Suboxone. I don’t anticipate that happening though.