Jane the Virgin: “Chapter Twenty-Two”

Sorry for the outburst, but that’s pretty much all I’ve been wanting to shout re: the Jane the Virgin finale since it aired. The kid coming out a little dude plastered with hair? All par for the course. Crime underworld shenanigans sprinkled over the plot like a fine, hyper-realistic seasoning? That’s just another day in Miami. But baby pilfering? Infant snatching? Purloining of tots? Jane the Virgin has raised its own bar for tomfoolery this time–and just in time to leave us guessing for three long, barren hiatus months.

I wonder what Sin Rostro will look like when she returns. With Agent Carter renewed, Bridget Regan could be hanging up her crime lord hat to dedicate more time to spying and treachery as vintage black widow Dottie Underwood. And it was heavily implied that Rose used her secret plastic surgery ring to alter her appearance, anyway. I’m pulling for Rose’s reemergence as Melinda Clarke, if only because surely if any face is up to taking on the mantle of Miami mobster, murderer, and seductress of the wealthy, it’s Julie Freaking Cooper.

More O.C. alum should find their way onto JTV anyway. What’s Rachel Bilson up to now that Hart of Dixie has been cancelled? She’s make a great gang babysitter to Sin Rostro!

The build-up to Jane giving birth has in many ways been the premise of Jane the Virgin, and it delivers–no pun intended. Not that I had any doubts about the creative team behind JTV, but between the rallying busload of benevolent citizens, to Jane’s hallucination of Rogelio the Bus Ad cheering her on, to the packed room when she gave birth (did Rafael pay them off or what, because there were like, nine people in that delivery room?), everything felt genuine and a little bit magical. Jane the Virgin can get pretty zany, but at its heart is a show about kindness, and the finale conveyed that effortlessly.

(Photo: Patrick Wymore/The CW)

Love, and familial love, filtered into Xo and Rogelio’s storyline also. The confirming embrace of Rogelio as a part of the Villanueva clan was really nice, and Xo’s photoshop of Rogelio at the birth of Jane was terrifying and strange, just like Rogelio would have wanted it to be. The twist of their Drunk in Vegas wedding is something I can’t wait to see the follow through. I hope it will be over-the-top and dramatic. And if I know Rogelio and Xo (and I like to think that in a way, I do), it totally will be.

You know what I don’t hope will be overdramatic? This Rafael-Jane-Michael love triangle. Frankly, I’m fed up with both of the boys right now, as they both dumped a lot of emotions on Jane in completely unfair circumstances. And no, Michael, bringing an iPod playlist doesn’t cover you. (Though Salt-N-Pepa’s “Push It” was both a hilarious choice and has long been my headcanon for Jane’s top karaoke jam!)

And while Rafael’s heart does seem to be in the right place when it comes to Jane, he shows a touch too much malicious glee at the prospect of using his playboy ways to manipulate Petra. I know she’s made her mistakes, and that her heart is rarely in the right place, but her feelings for Rafael are still clearly genuine. And anybody who is capable of exploiting that, let alone getting a kick out of it, is not someone I’m eager to trust.

And honestly, is that any way to treat the potential mother of your second surprise baby of the year? Petra may be heading off the scheming deep end right now, but if things go according to plan for her, she’ll be indelible family in Season 2. And as Xo says, you can get angry as family, but you have to forgive them.

That’s it for Jane the Virgin this year! How much fun was that? I can’t wait to get back to Jane, to the Marbella, to the Passions of Santos, and to the dulcet, witty tones of television’s favourite narrator in September! But until then, hey, there’s always fanfiction.