It’d Be Real Cool If Donald Trump Didn’t Cause A Nuclear War Before Phish Plays 13 Nights In A Row At Madison Square Garden

Albert Einstein once said “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.” When it comes to Phish, I am insane. Certifiably insane. I’ve proudly gone 101 Phish shows and hope to make it to another 100+. And the great thing is that, of those 101 shows, I can genuinely say that there were different results for each one — A twisted and nefarious “Carini” jam here, a playful “Makisupa Policeman” there, a first set “Gumbo” that made me shake my jiggly-man-tits-from-too-many-IPAs off. A second set “Down with Disease” or “Golden Age” or “David Bowie” or “2001” or “Ghost” that melted my brain into goopy, lukewarm neural Jello.

Phish and New York City go together like a fine shiraz and gruyere. Sure, the band tours everywhere, but there’s an added dimension of specialness to see The Boys in their spiritual turf in the Northeast, where you can stumble out into the night and grab a slice of Joe’s Pizza to replenish yourself before kickin’ it back home for bed.

That’s why I have the evenings of July 21st – August 6th blocked off in my calendar. On the heels of a sold-out New Year’s run this past year, Phish will play 13 consecutive shows in the World’s Greatest Arena™. This is all TBD that we make it that far in American society with out civil war, a massive depression of the financial system, or a nuclear attack. I’m cool with a diet of lot grilled cheese (2 for $3, please) for a few weeks (and have shocked my brain digestive tract on them in the past), but not sure I can stomach rat meat cooked on garbage dumpster fires six months from now.

Phish’s MSG takeover will go dark on Mondays and Thursdays of the historic 13-night run, which means Trey, Page, Mike, and Jon will have performed at MSG 52 times over the course of their 33+ year musical career. Only a few more musical acts have accomplished such a feat — Elton John, Billy Joel, and the Grateful Dead. Something tells me the Mr. LIRR isn’t going to think very kindly of the boys from Vermont *potentially* joining him with a banner someday in MSG’s rafters.

Make Phish Evil Again pic via the incredibly chill Anders Beck from Greensky Bluegrass. Catch them on their Winter Tour, they’re more heady than slutting yourself out for wook magic healing crystals in a Jones Beach port-a-john.