Harry Redknapp To Snub England Job And Take The Helm At RBS

Football manager, Harry Redknapp, is expected by City insiders to snub the offer of head coach for the England football team, and instead, to take the helm at state controled RBS in the City Of London.

Mr Redknapp was described by City analysts as being ideally suited to the job of controlling RBS, being - by his own admission - barely literate, hopeless with numbers, and incurably Cockney.

Concerns have been raised regarding Mr Redknapp's suitability to fill the post, but most supporters claim that Mr Redknapp's ability to talk absolute bollocks under pressure, his reminiscences about life in the East End in the mid 1960's, and his connections with West Ham United FC make him an ideal candidate.

As things stand, the only stumbling block appears to be 'Arry's dog, Rosie - who is hotly tipped to assume the role of England goalkeeper, taking over from Joe Hart.

Mr Redknapp is reportedly reluctant to take over RBS unless a suitable role can be found for his pet bulldog.

"'Arry ticks all the boxes when it comes to being a top merchant banker," one source revealed. "He knows how to flannel a committee, how to win over a jury, and how to convince Peter Crouch that he's the best England striker since Jimmy Greaves. He's just the man for the financial sector. He might even get a pay rise. Being a banker - it's a funny old game."

More as we get it.

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