Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Every now and again, I get one of those uber-idiotic messages from some guy who thinks that just because he likes to think of himself as a dominant person I've got no other choice than obey his orders.

The following scribbling has been triggered by such a message.

The seven basic Rules of contacting your soon-to-be sub

So, you've lurked for some time on some social website or forum. Like this one here, for example. You noticed this gal. Yeah, she's hot. Course she is, with a bum like that. Cute tits, too. Also, you figure she's smart. You don't exactly understand all of her posts, probably because she knows the difference between dominate and dominant.

Yeah, there is one, believe me.

But that's chickenshit and we all know it. Because: this chick with the cute ass which she displays on her avatar is yours. That's all that counts. She's the one destined to suck your divine cock whenever you need your divine cock to be sucked. She's the one rolling on her back and spreading her legs whenever you feel the urge to bury your divine cock in a hot, slippery pussy. With a little bit of luck she'll also do your laundry, go to work (while you perv the web!) and cook fantastic meals for you, which of course she serves naked, wiggling and jiggling her cute, firm ass and tits and flashing her pussy which she managed to shave between picking your stained underwear off the floor and getting you a Warsteiner from the fridge.

Yeah, agreed, that slut is just about perfect for you.

The only problem is that she doesn't know all that yet. Yeah, incredible as it may sound, your overwhelming Domly Domliness hasn't yet managed to make itself noticed by her. No, no worries, that hasn't anything to do with the fact that for the last three weeks since you signed on you only lurked in the shadows of this site. It's her fault. She failed you. But, wrong as it may seem, you can't yet punish her for her negligence and ignorance. In order to give her then sound thrashing she deserves, you must first make her truly yours. And to make her truly yours you got to contact her.

But luckily that's easier done than said if you are willing to follow these few rules:

1. Keep it short.

Hot, smart chicks like her most likely are inundated with messages from asinine Doms. That shouldn't deter you, though, because you are special and not asinine at all. However, writing an elaborate introduction and explaining at length why she's destined to be your devoted fucktoy won't likely yield any results, for she most likely can't be bothered to read all of those messages with hundreds of words and paragraphs and shit like that. Instead, she'll just look at the short ones. That's actually good, coz it safes you lots of time and struggling with grammar and that other thing, what was it again? Oh yeah, spelling. Keep it short and you don't need to bother with that much.

2. Be concise

Concise is an adjective and it means "giving a lot of information clearly and in a few words". Neat, eh? What's even better: We already have half of the second rule covered in the first one. Yay!

3. Be cryptic

Gals like a bit of a mystery. They want their imaginations getting turned on. They want to imagine you as that tall dark stranger while they lay in their beds all alone at night, fantasizing about getting dominated and used by, well, you.

4. Be firm

Do not use conditionals. Look it up yourself if you don't get it. Not "I want", but "I will". The chick in question doesn't want to read any if-thens, either. All she needs to know is what's business. And it is your job to tell her.

5. Be domly

OK, OK. Domly isn't a real word. But you know what I mean, right? That quality that lets her know that you're not some douchebag, but in fact a real dominant alpha male. Or, rather, because proper capitalization is key to let your domliness shine through: A real Dominant Alpha Male.

6. Do it

A lot of potentially domly Doms remain single wannabe Doms because they never get down to business and write that crucial first message. OK, I admit it: much too many actually do it. But they're still wannabe Doms. You're not. You're the one who will soon dominate this hot chick with the cute tits and the tight ass and feel her full, soft lips wrapped around your divine dick. That's exactly what separates you from the wannabes: Her lips (all of them!) wrapped around your cock.

7. Write it. Now!

This is easy, if you followed me up to this point. You can also copy/paste my little example of a first message to your future sub here: "Hi bitch. I will dominate you!"

It's short, concise, cryptic, firm and hellishly domly. You can even leave out the "Hi". It's not really necessary because female subs don't expect to be greeted, they're used to being taken for granted. If you want a personal touch to your message, you can also swap "bitch" for "slut".

That's all there is to it. Really.

Now excuse me while I get naked and roll over on my back in eager anticipation of your domly domliness and your divine cock.