I haven't even attempted cooking any of the aforementioned meals / foods...I'm that bad

Actually I can do an OK stir fry.

I'm beyond hopeless, and I don't enjoy it either so I've never really been motivated to improve! I burn water. Seriously, I have ruined saucepans attempting to boil water!

This is me too. I despise cooking and can't be bothered to attempt to improve myself. I have to cook chicken today, I'm dreading it, DH will hate it as I always over cook it as I'm so paranoid about under cooked chicken.

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