WO: Weekly Obsessions

It’s my BIRTHWEEK! The threat of thunderstorms all weekend don’t have me worried. I’m American after all, and these colors don’t run. In case you couldn’t tell, my patriotism hits an all-time obnoxious high this time every year. Brace yourselves.

Star-Spangled Hammered Tank Top:Look Human has a ridiculous array of funny, funky fashions — and this tee will let me show off the guns for the 4th.

Crocheted Flag Vest with Fringe. Yeah.: Over that tank will be this little beauty. Please hold your applause. And don’t worry, Mom. I’ll be wearing jorts to cover my American pie.

American Flag Flask: What better way to say ‘Merica than with this patriotic flask? It also promises to help you forget the World Cup loss our guys had last night. But damn, does it taste like freedom.