Friday, August 5, 2011

Day 40: Feeling Good

It's exciting to feel thinking change. I still often get really negative thoughts quite often. They haven't taken a vacation, but it's strange to hear myself correct them. I'll find myself thinking, "But I don't wanna go to work. It's gonna be bad and whine whine whine whine" but something goes, "Well, you need the money and you like the people. You'll be fine. Shut up." I like this something. It certainly keeps me smiling.

I've learned, though, how much easier it is to say, "I'm going to stay positive" when everything's going well. Of course you'll stay positive, what's to stop you? When everything crashes and feels like it's turning to shit, that's when I'm actually impressed if I stay positive.

I managed to stay positive about eating Wendy's. I know my body is supposed to be a temple and blah blah blah, but today I wanted Wendy's. So I got Wendy's. I used to eat Wendy's far too much and after a while, that shit really tastes like cardboard. When you have it once, as a treat, after a good 5 months, let me tell you....that shit is genetically engineered to be delectable. I was in heaven. I very well may pay for it tomorrow. But I don't feel guilty. Sometimes you need Wendy's.

When I embarked on this challenge, I was pretty convinced that most of the mental benefits listed were bullshit, and they might be. I often wonder how much of a yoga pose actually gives you physical benefits and changes and how often you just think it does. Should I be in this placebo stage, that's fine by me.

I should probably stop writing these at such late hours. I realize that they make no sense.