13.5.06

Not one, but two celebrities need to shut up!

[Britney] Spears told the British publication [the Sun] that she would love to make a film with [George] Clooney.

"He's pretty cute, but don't tell my husband," Spears says.

The ideal Spears-Clooney collaboration script would have Spears playing, perhaps, Wonder Woman - from the Island of Amazon Doritos Addicts With a Severe Allergy to Standard-Issue Superhero Spandex.

"I would go nude. And I'd love to play a superhero. That would be really cool," Spears says.

Clooney, of course, would play Maj. Steve Trevor, whose overwhelming sexiness would cause him to be habitually clubbed over the head and stuffed into a barrel, but always rescued by a topless Spears wielding a golden venti Frappuccino of truth. The Nazis, however, would remain clothed and uncaffeinated.

[emphasis mine, because that's what she shouldn't have said.]

Oh, Britney. Oh, dear Britney.

And then there's Clementine Ford, Cybill Shepherd's daughter: "It was tough having a beautiful mother as a kid. High school boyfriends wanted sex with her. I don't blame Mom for being beautiful - but it was gross." Almost as gross as you telling us about it!!!!