Is it wrong at parent teacher confer to ask why our child was only one sent to office for a tardy slip(one child walked in right before & 3 after?

I witnessed this. I went to office to sign out, my son came in for a tardy slip. Due to a medical condition he's tardy often & I see this happen often. Principal asked my husband if I'm spy-ing on them(of course not- was taking son to class). Teacher denied anyone else coming in tardy. Principal was irate, used loud voice at conference and ending my husband's conference and wouldn't allow him to setup another conference w/teacher without supervision. We've been restricted from volunteering & enterening past lobby doors. They refuse to tell us why but give us a copy from the parent/student handbook about restricting who they want. Prior to parent teacher conference principal has us sign in/out when going past lobby(which we do) stating its policy but doesn't make others. We asked principal why she lets others walk right past her without signing in, she will not say other than we are talking about your situation. We ask what situation and she will not tell us anything. My son is upset about this and we feel it's affecting his schooling and not wanting to be there. He's 7 and said he's sad when he doesn't see me help at school (classroom, fieldtrips, library). We feel it is because my husband asked about the tardy slip situation and they don't like that we know our son is being singled out. We have tried working with pupil services but getting no where. Can you give us suggestions on how this can be resolved? Thank you.

Expert

What the Expert Says:

You are very concerned about how your son is reacting to the restrictions. How you as parents proceed also teaches your son how to handle conflict. The tardy slip seems unfair to you and the conference with the principal did not go well. You compare yourself to what other parents are allowed to do. Your son is hearing that he is being treated differently, and is not responsible because others are not being treated the same. Imagine a police officer pulling you over for speeding. You tell the officer that he needs to pull over the other cars who were going as fast or faster. What would be the officer's response?

I suggest that you write a letter to your school board representative. In the letter accept the responsibility for what has happened (son's tardy, conference with principal) and state what you would like to see happen ( volunteer, access to school after signing in). It is best not to compare what other parents can do and we are being treated unfairly.

Additional Answers (1)

Sorry, for the confusion: my son, the child before and after my son were the children not tardy, the bell had not rung prior to them entering the class. The several kids coming in after the child behind my son did enter the classroom minutes later after the bell rang. Of course we would take responsibility if he would have been tardy, but that day he was not. Would you please update your thoughts on this. My noting he is freq. tardy for a medical cond. was to say we do fill out a tardy slip prior to going to classroom when he is not in the classroom before the bell rings . This teacher & asst have literally closed the door on my son as he's walking toward the classroom door & the bell has not rung & make him knock on the door and tell him he has to have a tardy slip. Another student enters the classroom after this (by then the bell has rung)and is not asked to get a slip. I have witnessed this. I don't see in these instances you advising us not to question why we are being treated differently when we have not done anything wrong and if they feel we have they don't tell us even though we have asked??? I don't understand in any instance your advice of not worrying what they are letting other parents do. Policy is policy and if the principal is standing right there and letting parents down the halls not signing in why wouldn't we question it. My husband and I feel it is do to my son's medical condition (he does have a Drs. note on file for frequent tardiness and absences) that they treat us as such. There are many other occassions of them treating us differently. We have meet with Superintendant & Principal. Principal lies stating she doesn't let parents walk their kids down the halls. We tell superintendant this is not true, Superintendant has even come to the school to observe this is not so. They state things will change to be the same for everyone, everyone must sign in & wear a badge if taking child to classroom, but nothing has changed. Is your advice still to write a letter to the board?