"The Slate" on "Sexual Self-sufficiency" and does it make you gay?

Must be a slow news day. ""Sexual self-sufficiency," they write, "either by masturbation or autofellatio, is tantamount to having an affinity for one's own sex." In other words, if you were a fan of manual masturbation in 1946, my heterosexual male friends, you'd have been branded a secret homosexual pervert who likes penises so much that he gives himself hand jobs."

Honestly, I've never seen a discussion of this activity in the press anywhere. The article concludes that the female equivalent is unlikely.

I don't think autofellatio is mentioned in the Bible, so it's probably OK from a religious standpoint. No spilling of the seed on the ground, unlike masturbation. Not one biblical case of god smiting a poor horny person for giving himself a blow job. At last, a loophole!