Tuesday, April 2, 2013

My 30 days are up and I failed in my initial goal for this experiment. I didn't create a product and I stopped following my rules halfway through. It didn't work out as smoothly as I imagined because my original inspiration for the experiment came out of impatience and frustration instead of the actual desire to create something positive for myself. A month ago I was fed up with not having a clear path in life and I just wanted something to happen, but now I see that uncertainty goes hand in hand with dreaming. Here is a list of the biggest reasons why this experiment failed and what I learned from it.

I assumed I was a dreamer. That was the premise of the entire experiment but there is a difference between knowing and being. I'm sure you've heard the phrase "Knowledge is power" but I don't think that's true. Its only when you apply that knowledge to a specific cause that it gives you the power to create your life the way you want. So basically this past month I learned I'm not as awesome as I thought I was and I have a long way to go before I can call myself a dreamer.

I wasn't honest with myself. I thought entrepreneurship and writing were my passions, but in reality they are just things that would make me appear successful. Part of being a dreamer is pursuing interests that you enjoy and feel strongly about. This allows you to put in the hard work necessary to make your dream come true. I was forcing myself to sit down and write and it felt awful. I read somewhere that you don't need discipline if you have love, and corny as its sounds I think there is some truth to it.

I felt the need to rush it. I have a habit of speeding through my life, I've always tried to just move on from one phase of my life to another as fast as possible. But nothing major gets done in 30 days, change is gradual and you should enjoy the process.

So now I'm back to square one. I will be an entrepreneur, but I don't feel the need to rush it anymore. I'm going to pick up skills and keep learning, I started programming and I'm enjoying it so I'll see what I can do with that. I'm also going to start being more honest about what I really want to pursue Above all I'm going work on actually being a dreamer.