I had a second date last night. He lived over an hour away, so I invited him for supper, which i shouldn't have done. We've been talking online and on the phone for a while.

I was ok with sleeping with him. However, here is the problem: he assaulted me. He choked me, and kept trying to shove his dick in my ass. I would ask him not to, and tell him that he was hurting me. He would not stop. He would wait until I fell asleep and do it again. I woke up once, and he had his entire hand inside me.

I was afraid to tell him to leave so I toughed it out until this morning.

We apparently had 2 different view of what happened because he texted me a thank you this morning. I immediately texted back that he hurt me and I didn't want to see him again. He is text bombing me as awe speak.

Guys, am I wrong? If a woman clearly expresses a boundary ( don't stick anything in my ass), would it surprise you if she got mad?

I am just stunned. This was really bad. Even with a fuck buddy, boundaries were respected.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 8366 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA

haysuth01♀ 29161Member # 29161

Posted: 11:49 AM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014

HOLY. SHIT.

I'm not a man and I don't have any advice, but I just wanna give you a hug.

((Williesmom))

What a bastard. I am so sorry this happened to you.

Posts: 220 | Registered: Jul 2010

norabird♀ 42092Member # 42092

Posted: 11:50 AM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014

This is awful. I am so mad at him and upset for you.

Block his number and know that this was not your fault.

Ugh. I am truly sorry. Do not question your boundaries! Of course this was beyond wrong! He is a scumbag!

Next time if god forbid anything like this happens again please tell him to leave. Do it with a phone in your hand and say you will call the police if he does not comply.

I hope you have an IC you can see to discuss this. It will take some healing re trust since you have been violated.

That asshat, ugh!!!

Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4315 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC

betrayedfriend♀ 19785Member # 19785

Posted: 11:53 AM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014

You were raped, please report it to the police. I'm so sorry this happened to you. ((WM))

I originally joined SI as a way to help my best friends find ways of coping with infidelity, but now infidelity has touched my family much closer to home.

Posts: 948 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Midwest USA

cayc♀ 21964Member # 21964

Posted: 11:58 AM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014

Oh I'm shocked. And yes this is rape. Report it. I'm so so so sorry this happened to you. Please report it as rape and get a restraining order if you can since this guy knows where you live.

"I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship." - Louisa May Alcott

Posts: 3446 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico

cayc♀ 21964Member # 21964

Posted: 12:01 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014

Oh & he's text bombing you bc he knows it was rape & he's hoping to talk you out of doing anything about it.

I can't hug you enough right now.
(((((((Williesmom))))))))

"I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship." - Louisa May Alcott

Posts: 3446 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico

Williesmom♀ 22870Member # 22870

Posted: 12:05 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014

Thanks, all. Just one more embarrassing incident in my life.

I can't stop crying. My bff(who is a guy) emailed me this morning because he knew that this guy was coming.

I told him briefly what happened. He reached out, but I can't even talk about it.

I am losing hope here.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 8366 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA

norabird♀ 42092Member # 42092

Posted: 12:06 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014

Please find someone to talk to about it--BFF sounds like a great option. This is NOT your fault, you don't need to be embarrassed! You did nothing wrong honey.

I'm sorry

Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4315 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC

Williesmom♀ 22870Member # 22870

Posted: 12:14 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014

I will talk to BFF about it. We talk about everything.

Just not today.

I got a hot bath, put on my sweats, and I'm just going to stay home and cry. I'm just numb.

Please consider calling the police. And, to cmego's point, ER's often have a nurse available who is trained to work with victims and collect the appropriate evidence. Alternatively, I just PM'd you a link that can help you locate a Rape Crisis Center for support.

((Williesmom))

Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44

DDay:2011
Status: D 2011

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling

Posts: 4974 | Registered: Mar 2011

FaithFool♀ 20150Member # 20150

Posted: 12:51 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014

Jeezus WM, I'm speechless. Who does this?

Report him and get a restraining order right away.

((((((((((WM))))))))))))

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire