Just Buried (2007) Movie Script

You might've taken the wrong exit. You really think I look good? I told you, you look fine. I- It's just we haven't seen him in a very long time, I want to make sure I look good. He's dead, Ollie. I've only ever seen deer on TV. Should pull it off the road. I gotta take a leak. Me? I don't want to pull it off the... It might have diseases, Jackie! Uh, Jackie? Is he with you? Um... Public urination is illegal. Do you have any drugs in the car, sir? No, no, no. Uh, it only happens when I get nervous. Nosebleeds. Too much coffee, Officer. Ah, what brings you to town, Father? Funeral. Rollie Whynacht. Yeah, he was a good man. We wouldn't know. You weren't acquainted? He was our father. Well, I'll see you at the service. God bless. Yeah, we'll take care of that, Sir. So, do we call her Mom? Oh, hello! Hi! I'm Luanne! Oh god! Your father's told me so much about you. Oh my god! Come here, come here. Oh, it's OK. It's OK. And you, look at you! Come here. It's OK now. It's OK. Come inside. Now, I know you haven't seen Rollie in a long time, but I figured you'd want to be here today. Besides, it saves me from having to hire a preacher. Good! So, what did Rollie, like, do? Oh, he owned a funeral home. Yeah, that's where we're gonna have the service today. Mm-hmm! Rollie bet me I couldn't draw a high card. And then I pulled a 9. And we skipped across the street and we got married! It would've been our fifth wedding anniversary next month. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. It's OK. It's OK. I- I think I'm just gonna go take a drive. Thank you for having us. Uh... I'm sorry. It's OK. Oliver! Henry Sanipass, worked for your Dad. How'd you know who I am? Oh, last photo I saw, you were just a gawky little kid. Now look at you! I'm sorry about your Dad. His heart couldn't take the cigars no more. I didn't want it to be this way. You and Henry are probably the only two men that have ever really gotten me. Charlie's just... And, Dad, he's never understood me. Dad doesn't think this profession is fit for a lady. It was good enough for my mother. I'll take good care of the home. Uh, I'm one of Rollie's sons. That's-that's, uh, a pretty dress. It was my mother's. Your nose is bleeding. Uh, yeah. It happens when I get nervous. I am sure Rollie would want all of you, especially those whom he held closest, to know that he is now basking in the glory and light of Our Lord's everlasting love. Though my brother Oliver and I did not know our father well from the number of faces gathered in his name here today we can see that he was well loved. Pretty convincing sermon. Bygones, I guess. Did you know my father pretty well? Yeah, you could say that. What was he like? He was generous... funny. He had pretty good taste in after-shave. We have to take him to the crematorium now. Oh. Mr. Whynacht requested that each of you be here for this. Well, hi gang. It's me. I guess you know that. Listen... After my check up this week the doctor tells me the next heart attack is going to do me in for sure, so I got two choices; give up smoking or make out my will. So, I've been tryin' to figure out the easiest way of dividing up all my crap. And well, you know me, I always was a gambler. So folks... Looky here. Wait a minute. Why is your name up there? Ollie, congrats. It's all yours. Sorry, girls. I'll need you to sign some papers, Mr. Whynacht. Congratulations. Uh, do you have a handkerchief? It took Rollie 11 takes to get it to stop on your name. Well, hi there, Ollie. Ollie, I gotta tell you, I always thought you were a weird kid. In fact, you kind of creeped me out. But I love you. I love you anyway. Now, your mum kept me up to date on your lives. That was part of our deal. So I know that Jackie- That, you know, he has something. He has God or- or whatever. But you- You're delivering groceries, for Christ's sake! So I had to do something for you. I want you to make the funeral home great again. And I'm going to be watchin' you. I'm going to be watching you. What, uh, happened here? I had a run-in with some German guy in a track suit. Armin Imholz. He's Swiss. Well, see you tomorrow, Boss. Ollie, this is a good thing. I'm a delivery boy for a grocery store. What do I know about running a fu- I feel sick again. I just don't want to let him down, Jackie. It'll be fine. This is your chance to have something of your own. I'll help you out. I'll be your pastor on call. Yeah? Yeah. Hey! Ha ha! I guess you'll want me out soon. It's your house, Luanne. Well, I guess we're family, right? Yeah. Oh, mornin', Boss! What should I do? Well, I'd start with a staff meeting. Five minutes in the lobby? Where's the staff? Roberta's in at lunch. She just does half days. Oh. And, uh, where's Rollie's secretary? And caretaker and accountant and executive VP. Ain't got much need for anybody else. Hasn't been a funeral through here in a year. Except for Rollie. Uh, but Dad was rich? You know, we coulda' built a conveyor belt from the old folks home across the way. But after the joint burnt down in '02 they built a new place over in Mayfield, and this redneck Wayne Snarr, he got all the business. I got a funeral home in a town where no one is dying. You want to get something to eat? You guys stay any longer I'll be bringing you breakfast menus next. I'll have another gin and tonic and a piece of that Turtle pie. And he'll have another beer. Why a mortician? I like it. No, I could never do it. Why? I'm scared to death of death. I think people who are afraid of death are more afraid of life. How do you do it? You wash the body with a germicide-insecticide-olfactant and swab the insides of the nose and mouth. Then you set the facial features by putting cotton in the nose, eye-caps below the eyelids, and the mouth-former in the mouth. Then you tie the mouth shut with wire or sutures. Then you drain out all the blood out by puncturing a major artery or the heart and inject in embalming fluid. Then you take this long, pointed, metal tube that's attached to a suction hose and you puncture the stomach, bladder, large intestines and the lungs and suck out all the fluids and the gas. And then you inject cavity fluid into the torso. You usually have to pack the anus and vagina with cotton or gauze... to prevent seepage. And then you close up all the holes and you re-wash the body. Would you like a bite? No, thank you. Uh, I'm allergic to peanuts. Uh, actually, I meant, how do you do it? Like, you don't find it gross? Because I'm a girl? No, because it's gross. Death doesn't bother me. How close are you? We're leaving now. OK. Sure thing. Bye. Sorry about that. Just a friend of mine having problems with her boyfriend. You know, I'm probably shouldn't be driving right now. Don't worry about it. Everybody does it here. We'll take the back road into town. Please, one second. Oh, you're so sweet. Please, after you. Thank you, sir. Sure. So, what are you gonna do? Shut the home down. What? Well... you can't do that! Well, why not? Oh, shoot! Did it soak through? Oh God! Aw! Aw! It's Armin Imholz. God! Oh my god! He's dead. We ca- We can't- I mean- I- It was an accident! You've been drinking. It's vehicular manslaughter! Vehicular manslaughter? Jeez! God! Oh god! This is gonna be OK, Ollie. It's gonna be OK. How is this gonna be OK? Let's get away from these tire tracks. Come on! Get in the truck! Let's go! What are we doing here, Roberta? Uh, but we should cover him up! Get down! Get down now! Can you give me a hand here? Oh god. Aw! That's good. OK, OK. Now what? What are you planning on doing with the truck? I haven't really thought that far ahead. Clean off the blood and take it to Travelon Auto Salvage in Newman's Cross tomorrow night. Leave it at the back and make sure you take your license plate with you. Everything will be fine. OK? Trust me. Yes? The cops have a body for us. Why for us? I'm the county coroner. Told you everything would be fine. Um, can't you just take Henry with you? Henry and the Chief don't get along to well. Why is that? Probably something to do with a woman. See you out front. Yeah. Hi, Dad. Hi, Charlie. - Hi! He's not that ripe just yet. It's his first corpse. Me too. You sure you can handle this, sweetheart? It's pretty gruesome. I can handle it, Dad. Looks like he was out for his evening walk, lost his footing in the dark, and fell down the embankment. Is that Armin Imholz? Mr. Pickles. Uh, this is Oliver Whynacht. Mr. Pickles moved to Elder's Bluff when he left TV a couple years back. You know, you must remember his show Dillville? I didn't watch much television as a child. Roberta, always a pleasure. It looks like he got hit by a car, huh? Maybe. Except for the fact of the neck being broken like that. That's usually more consistent with this type of fall. If there's anything out of the ordinary when I examine him, I'll just let you know right away. Uh, cribbage tonight? 8:30? Is it Tuesday already? Oliver, bag. Charlie. Oh for god's sake, Charlie, photograph everything. Charlie, give me a hand please. Yeah. Oh yeah. It's a small town. Everybody knows everybody. What does your father think about you dating his Constable? He hates it. He had his appendix removed. From the scar I'd say he was a teenager when it happened. These other scars... bitten by a dog at one point. Uh, what are you going to do with that? Well, I've got to cut him open if it's gonna look like a real autopsy. Can you pass me the rib cutters, please and my goggles? Rib cutters? You know, I- I've got some... stuff to do. Well, this is quite the mess! So... you hit a deer? Yeah, I knew this fella got killed by a deer on the highway. Broke through the windshield and skewered him in the throat with its antler. It was quite some sight. Good night, boss. What are you doing out here, Mr. Whynacht? Oh, uh, I went for a walk. Got really tired. Hitchhiking is illegal. Sorry! I'll take you back to town. OK. Roberta finished the autopsy. Cause of death was a broken neck due to accidental fall. So, no foul play is suspected? This isn't the city, Mr. Whynacht. People don't go around killin' each other out here. So if you'd like to give us the information about your preferred funeral home in Switzerland, we'll take care of all the necessary arrangements. Of course, we can also have the funeral here if you would like. We are a full service facility. I know you and your husband- I have decided... to have it here. Cost is not an issue. My son Crispin will do the music. Oh wow! Crispin, what do you play? He's a yodeler. And Armin's walking stick? I- I- I don't believe... He never went walking without it. Same route and time every night. He so loved his evening walks. We will look into that. Yeah, good. You didn't find it? There are footprints. That walking stick proves Imholz wasn't killed where they found the body. Yeah? Jackie, it's Oliver. Ollie, what time is it? I got a funeral for you. That's great, Ollie. When? Tuesday. Tuesday. That's poker night, but I can skip it, I guess. Oliver? Yeah? Is there somethin' else? No, no. Good night. Good night. You are really good at this. Beautiful job, Ollie. Thank you. Hey. That's the nicest funeral I've ever been to. Even an open bar. You did good. Rollie' would be proud. You think? So, everything's alright? Sure. So, what was the problem the other night? You sounded sort of off. Oh, uh, yeah. It was nothing. Aw, nothing. Okey-dokey. You have done very well, Mr. Whynacht. Elegant and tasteful. Thank you. Bitte schn. Yeah. Would you do me a favour and refill her coffee? Thank you. Either one of you girls know where the coat check is? Yeah? Uh, so... Pickles has Imholz's walking stick with him here. Well, go get it! Is everything OK, Mr. Whynacht? Yeah, although, I think that they need a few extra hands to go help with dessert. Uh, can you... Yeah. Thanks. Uh, my hat. It's right next to it. So are you really leaving so soon? Dessert's about to come out. I've gotta do some rich kid's birthday party in about hour. So, tell me something. Where did you get this stick? Uh, I found it. Why? How much do you want for it? It's not for sale. Gentlemen. Lookin' forward to our rematch! Ah! He-he knows something. Just calm down, OK? It doesn't matter what he suspects if he doesn't any have proof. We need that stick. I used to baby-sit Cindy. Her parents go to the drive-in every Tuesday. Watch this. Here comes Pickles. And there he goes. How-how did you know? Recon. Oh my god! What is Pickles doing? # Oh just the three of us # # Just the three of us. Just the three... # Oh man! Oh god! Should one of us stay out here and keep an eye on him? We've got plenty of time. Go look in there. I'll check in here. Ew! Oliver! He's coming back! - Already? I didn't know he was gonna be that quick! I thought you did recon! Thank you. There. There! Didn't you check in here? No! Get it! Go! Whoa! Well, this is a nice surprise! What's he doing here? We're taking this walking stick! It belonged to Imholz, didn't it? I really want this stick. I wondered why it was so far from where he "fell". That's why you want it so bad. I saw the tire tracks. Oh! OK, I'll give you $1,000! That is- that is my final offer! For me not turning you in for murder... is gonna' cost you a lot more- Oliver, I-I don't think that's helping! Oh my god! I forgot! My Dad and Pickles play crib every Tuesday! Pickles? You tryin' to save on your light bill or somethin'? Where the hell? You in there? Oh! Goddamn prostate! Come on! Oh, there she goes! So, how do we cover this one up? I guess this is why he didn't show up for crib last night. It looks like he fell from that tree house directly onto the spy glass. How's about you leave the detective work to the professionals? What do you think, honey? I agree with Oliver. What's the matter with you? I just can't believe it's him! I mean, ever since I was a little boy... I'm just gonna need a minute. Oh! Wayne Snarr is in your office. Who? He called me "Chief"! Am I wearin' a headdress and moccasins? Come on. My deepest and sincerest sympathies over the loss of your father. He was a good man. Thank-thank you. Take comfort in the fact that he is in the warm embrace of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Right. So how can I help you? I'm here for Mr. Pikula. Didn't your assistant in the hallway there give you the message? You must be a very patient man, Mr. Whynacht, 'cause those people can be... Uh, which people? Anyway... Mr. Pikula! You probably knew him as Pickles. It's a damn shame! I'm conducting the funeral service. You are? His sister saw my website and requested that I do the services. Uh, what's this? Well, you must be getting tired of the funeral business now and, uh, me, well, I'm just so darn busy I need to expand. Now, it's not a huge offer but it's the best one you're gonna get. Why don't you take the money and head on back to the city? Surely you have a more interesting life waiting for you back there. Wayne Snarr. Oh, I am so sorry. Take comfort in the fact that she is in the warm embrace of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. He poached our funeral. You don't use a computer? Well, this here is the way I've always done it. Almost 20 years with your father and another 10 or so with the former owner. This can't be right. The Imholz funeral- it's huge! Well, that's paying off debt. How long till we close? A month. Barkeep? Alright, um... to Dad... To Dad. ...for bequeathing me his bankrupt business. Cheers. At first I thought we could just, you know, keep instigating these accidents. But then, after Snarr came in today, I thought: why don't we just take care of the problem in one fell swoop? What? What are you talking about? Oh, Snarr! He's a bigoted ass. And he's our only competition! Uh, Hey! Uh, no. Absolutely not! Well, why not. Just think about it, Oliver! I- I'm- I'm selling the home to Snarr. What? I, uh... I'm sure he'll keep you on. I don't want to work for Snarr! I want- I wanna work for you! I'm selling the home to Snarr. Luanne? Luanne? Oliver? Oliver. Oliver. They- they-they came and they took all the furniture. They just- They just- They came in and they took it! Ollie. Oliver. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you about Rollie's finances before. It's OK. Sit here. But you- You'll get things working again, right? Hmm? Right? Right. Because I cannot go back to the trailer park! I- I- I can't! Oh, Ollie! Mmm! Ollie! Ollie, you're so funny! Oh, Ollie. Oliver, this isn't your first time, is it? Oliver! It's just- It's just that- You know, ever since I was a little boy... Whynacht, glad you could come. Some job, huh? That's beautiful work. Tried to talk his sister into the Shelby 387 with brass trim, a full ceremony and burial. but she insisted on cremation. You know what it's like with these immigrant families. They're used to just burying their loved ones in their backyards. I'm barely clearing $5,000 on this one! The Egyptians believed that death was the true beginning and that all of life was just preparation. Did you know they used a long hook to smash in the brain and pull it out the nose before embalming? Uh, no, I didn't. You see that sign? Naugler was my mother's maiden name. Mom was an only child like me, so she took over the family business after her father died. Dad never liked it. He tried to get her to stop after they married. The real reason he didn't like it is because he found out she was having an affair with one of her employees. When I was 6, Mom died and Dad sold the home to Rollie. I will never forgive my Dad for doing that. It should have been mine. OK. OK? We'll do it. Snarr? Uh, Roberta, I don't think this is the right place for this. Who's your dirty girl? Who's your dirty girl? Uh, you-you are? So, uh, any ideas on how we do it? Ow! I've been collecting these for years. What is that? A pacemaker. They have a lithium battery that explodes in high temperatures. That's why we have to take them out before we burn them. Just one of these suckers will destroy an entire cremation chamber. So, I figure a couple dozen will make a really nice bang. Yeah, lithium. He's the last one. How do we know Snarr's still in there? The crematorium chimney. Look who's next in line. His left eyebrow is way too high. Yeah, you're definitely better. Hmm. We need to make room for the pacemakers. Will you hand me the rib separators? Oh, OK. Rib separators... Yes! Yeah, yeah! Come on! Oh, it smells awful. I need your help. Get a bag. Come on. Let's go! Let's go! Pacemakers! The Pacemakers! Wayne Snarr. Jesus! Take comfort in the fact that she's in the warm embrace of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Just leave it! These were my mother's! We should get outta here. Are you sure it worked? I think you must be bad luck for my county, Mr. Whynacht. Lot of folks been dyin' since you got here. Don't be ridiculous, Dad. Accidents happen. Firefighters got the remains out for you. I-17. I-17. B-8. B-8. O-63. O-63. Bingo! Oh, my god! Bingo! Bingo! It's good. The next game will be 4 corners. You're playin' for this here beautiful quilt made by Annie Welsh. I dropped by last night. I thought he works late on Fridays. He took it off. We haven't made love in ages, Roberta. I know, I know. I'm sorry. Charlie's been taking some time off work to look into Pickles' death on his own. He found the tissue you left in Pickles tool box. He gets the lab results back on Monday. So? So, it's got yours and Pickles' blood on it, Oliver. So what do we do? I don't know, Oliver. I have to go. Charlie's waiting. OK, well, um, tomorrow- can I see you tomorrow night? Please? We should talk about- Charlie and I are going camping tomorrow at Juniper Park after he finishes his shift. We really need the getaway. I'm sorry, Ollie. Well, little brother you got everything you could ever want. New truck, the house, the girl. Which girl? The blond one you're living with that looks great in spandex. Do you think it's weird? Hmm. She's hot. What-what do you think of Roberta? Isn't she with that cop? No. Well, she's like, "ish". What do you think of her? Creepy. She isn't creepy! She reminds me of this assistant they gave me when I was pastor at the prison. Gruber. Had a weird edge. The Warden told me: "He's harmless; "he's a white collar geek in for fraud. " Week later, Gruber nails some guy's tongue to a table with a fork for calling him "four eyes". It's creepy. Well, I don't think Roberta has ever stabbed anyone with a fork. Probably not. Who's your dirty girl? I have to go pee. How come you're not rolling around? Cause I can hold my liquor. What are you doing here? I just- I really wanted to see you. I'm with Charlie tonight. I- I honestly thought that you and I were- We are, we are. Just tonight, you know, I... We have a connection, OK? Like we've shared really big things. Uh, Imholz and, uh, Pickles and, uh, Snarr. I won't forget that. Roberta? Roberta? Yeah, baby? What's he talking about? Nothing, baby! He's not talking about anything. Did you two have something to do with Pickles? No, baby! Pickles fell out of a tree. We didn't have anything- Ow! Ow! What did you do that for? Oh! What are you going to do with- I don't know yet! I'm thinking! Here you go. What do you want me to- You write: "Dear Charlie, "I'm sorry but I love someone else. " Roberta, he knew. Your nose isn't bleeding. Roberta, look, I can get someone over from the next county to take this. She's fine. Found your letter on him. I guess he took the break up pretty hard. That, combined with Pickles dying, must have just been too much for him. Evening, Boss. What are you doin' here? I just thought I'd bring Roberta some take-out. Want a cookie? Roberta made them. They're peanut butter. No, I know, I can tell. Uh, allergic. That's too bad. They're delicious. Well, see you tomorrow, Boss. Roberta, we had to. It's not that. Look at this. So, if it's two lines, it means... I'm pregnant. It- Is it- Charlie and I always used something. You and I tend to be a little more spontaneous. So what do we do? Big day. Yup. You nervous? Oliver, are you sure you want to do this? You've only known the girl a few months. Her boyfriend just died. Her boyfriend- she'd been trying to end it for months, Jackie. Excuse me. Father. Where's Roberta? She's just getting ready. Business must be good. Saw you got a new truck. And I didn't get any phone calls about helping out with the wedding. Sir, your daughter will be well taken care of. Especially now yours is the only funeral home in the county. Roberta? Where are you? In the fridge. You're not supposed to see me before the wedding. Well, uh, Dad's here. We're having a nice father-son chat. So I'll leave you two alone. Roberta? We need to talk. I'm not calling it off. You do this stuff just to spite me! Everything I do isn't about- Listen, your mother's been dead for a long time now. You need to let go. Roberta, come out of the fridge! She's crazier than her mother. How's it going, Shelley? Oh no, that's all right. Yeah, he owns that wrecking yard in Newman's Cross right? He what? A half-ton pickup, huh? Well, you tell Sam that I'll drop by after dinner. Hi, baby. What do you think? The dress looks beautiful. It was my mother's. Dearly beloved. You're supposed to not be able to take your eyes off your bride, not your father-in-law. Well, my father-in-law is about to discover my pickup. You got some already there. I can just top it! Yeah, OK. Oliver, I think you should leave. Leave the country, maybe. Oh no, I'm not going anywhere. Oliver, my father's a good cop Really? He hasn't impressed me so far. Leaving the country is the only way out of this. If he's the only one that knows about it, it's not the only way out of this. Ollie, what are you- Yeah. Yay! You bastard. I'm going to tell Dad everything! Oh, no. No, no. You're gonna keep your mouth shut, otherwise we're both going down. I'll be back. Yes, some young lady calls today, askin' if I got any old half-ton pick-ups for parts. I tell her I don't got none but she wants me to double check, so I find this parked way out back here. Look familiar? Oh yeah. I gotta' run. The wife's been bustin' my balls about missin' dinner. Aw, damn it! Shit! # Ah it's gettin' # # Kind of funky up in here # # Come on # Hey, where'd you disappear to? Congratulations, Oliver! I'm sure Roberta is going to make a very fine wife. Thank you. Uh, have either of you two seen her? Let's go sit down. OK, OK. Wasn't feeling too good. Was gonna' pop over to the home to lie down for a bit. Said for you to come get her. Thank you. Honey? So, how did you do it? How did I do what? Kill my father. I dropped a minivan on him. You know what I love about you, Ollie? You're so predictable. If only Rollie had given me the funeral home like he said he would, you would never have had to be involved. But here you are. My perfect little patsy. You wanted me to kill your father? I told you I never forgave him for selling the funeral home. Besides, it seems only fair since I killed yours. His heart couldn't quite take a young "energetic" girl like myself. You screwed my dad? To death. This is just between you and me. Ow! You're not going to stop me from getting my home, Oliver! OK. Would you like a peanut, Oliver? I love you. I know. Looking for this? Where have you been? He was my mother's. It was a beautiful service. # From the grave a sad song sounds # # I can hear the cry # # Come living men And view the ground # # Where you must one day lie # # Princes this claim must be your bed # # In spite of all your towers # # Tall though was the reverent head # # Must lie as low as ours # # Set down the coffin Take off the lid # # Lay back that linen so fine # # Let me kiss his cold pale cheek # # 'Cause I know he'll never kiss mine # # Look up and down life's lonesome road # # And hang your head and cry # # The best of friends are bound to part # # So why not you and I # # Is somebody dead? # # No we're live tonight # # Is somebody dead? # # No we're live tonight # # Is somebody dead? # # No we're live tonight # # All right all right I'll leave # # These be celebration days # # Summer came to my little town # # Papa drunk in the yard with the junkyard dogs # # And watch the fireworks rain down # # Peanuts and ashes and crimes of passion # # Seem so intertwined # # As they did on the rocks reflecting in still water # # In that little town of mine # # Is somebody dead? # # No we're live tonight # # Is somebody dead? # # No we're live tonight # # Is somebody dead? # # No we're live tonight # # All right all right I'll leave # # Standin' in the road # # With a brand new plan # # Love costs the lives # # Of a couple of men # # But doesn't really matter # # How the deed gets done # # Bright lights flashin' in the dark # # We run #