Flowers of Despair

After a death in the family and his father suspecting him of liking a neighborhood boy, Chris decides to run away to New York with his friend, Danielle. But guilt gets the best of him and he decides to return home. When he returns, his father disowns him and Chris is at his breaking point. Along the way back to NYC, is his friend/lover who persuades him into doing drugs and other possible life threatening ordeals.
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Chapters:

The sparkle in her that I use to see when we were younger was
becoming dim; as with my mother too. I guess everybody in
Wellington lost it too. I know I'm not that cute boy with a grand
personality anymore. I sure wish I was though. I wish for a lot
of things.

I went back to my room to finish or start writing, God knows that
everyone here keeps me from doing what I want. But not today, my
father was at work and my mom was resting. I almost had the whole
place to myself. Writing was a way for me to keep me in line.
When I held that damn pen in my hand, I wasn't shaky or nervous.
Maybe Julie calmed me down and helped me relax. She always could
do that kind of magic on me. And so I started writing. I wrote
about Julie and Michael and mama and papa. I laughed; hadn't
called my father "papa" in a long time. I felt like I could write
about anything, I always could. Then I heard a crash from the
other end of the hallway. My mom must have dropped her breakfast
my dad had made her this morning.

I rushed over to assist my mom. She was lying on the floor next
to a broken bowl and spilt cereal.

"Mom?" I asked as I tried to pick her up. But there was no
response. She's just hard of hearing, I hoped. "Mom!" This time I
was becoming worried as she didn't respond again. "Mama!" I
cried. "Mama wake up!"

"Chris?" A small voice asked. "W-What happened?" I let out a big
sigh and hugged her. "Never do that again!" I scolded. "Now I'm
gonna clean this mess up."

"No, you don't have to do that."

"Yes, now get back into bed and rest. I'm supposed to take you to
the doctors today."

"I love you." She told me.

"I love you too mama."

I hurried and cleaned the cereal and milk and put the broken bowl
in the garbage outside. There, I found an old family photo lying
next to the garbage can. I folded it and put it in my pocket and
went back inside. It was twelve o'clock, the doctors appointment
wasn't until four so I had some time to kill before we had to go.
I decided to call Michael. Maybe this time our conversation would
be much more interesting! I grabbed the phone and proceeded to
dial. I waited somewhat patiently for someone to answer.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's Chris."

"Hey, what's up?" He asked.

"Nothing much, just wanted to talk."

"Hmm..." Damn! Our conversation was heading south, again.

"Hey do you want to hang out tomorrow?" He asked me.

"Um, yeah."

"I'll pick you up." I became impressed.

"Cool, see you then!" He then hung up the phone.

I decided I would make some lunch and after we'd go. I opened the
fridge and looked around for anything good. I guess I need to run
to the market and get whatever I could get for 15 dollars.
"Mom! I'm going to the store. I'll be back in an hour!" I yelled
to my mother. And so I got in the car and drove to Wellington's
famous "Lew's Bakery and Deli" to fetch some ham and turkey. As I
waited for the deli guy, I saw this jock walking by. His name was
Barry Lincolns and he didn't like me so much. Last year he called
me a fag and threw his lunch at me. I caught his eye and he
stopped and stared at me for an awkward amount of time. He then
shocked me by blowing me a kiss. I turned around to see if one of
his girlfriends was behind me. No one was there. He pointed to me
and started walking toward me. "Never mind!" I called to the deli
guy and ran out of the market like a bat out of hell. I looked
back to make sure he wasn't following me; luckily he wasn't. I
stopped in front of the car and smiled ever so slightly and got
in and drove off.

I pulled over on the side of the road and took a couple of deep
breathes and kept my smile. I felt warm inside and the thought of
him actually liking me was turning me on. I kind of figured there
was something odd about him. After he had humiliated me in the
cafeteria, I got a note in my locker. It said "Sorry" with a
heart around it. "Go to L-2327." I never went to the locker but a
few days later I walked past it and saw that it had been his
locker. I went on driving. I turned on the radio and a nice
country song came on. I started humming to the tune. When I got
back home, I ran to my mothers' room and told her it was time to
go.

"Okay, let's go!" I rushed my mom.

"Fine." She sighed.

I rushed her into the car to we could get going before any
traffic, if there was a chance of any. Do I really want to know
the fact of my mom being terminally ill; not really. I already
know that she isn't well, why should I hear it from some doctor?
Seeing her cough in such a way that brings her pain builds a ball
of sadness and anger in me knowing I can't do anything. I tear
formed but I quickly wiped it so my mom couldn't see me being
weak. I need to be strong for both of us. She looked at me and I
paused. I then told her "I love you."

At the doctor's office, I waited endlessly in the crowded white
waiting room. My nerves were on high as I kept thinking about my
mom. The door opened and walked in was my mom tearing up with
doctor at her side. I jumped up and ran to hug her.

"W-What is it?" I cried.

My mom grabbed me and told me that it wasn't good news. I bent
down and slowly cried as I hoped this was only some kind of
nightmare. The doctor excused himself and left the room. My mom
and I hugged each other for such a long time that I almost forgot
about she was dying but that dream soon ended. Mother and I left
the clinic and drove back home. The ride back was dull with
awkward silence. She didn't want to talk and neither did I. I
wanted to cry and scream and release my anger but at the same
time I had to be calm so I wouldn't crash the car. How can this
be? How can God be so rotten that he sent down this horrible
disease on my poor mother?

When we got back home, I helped my mom to her room so she could
rest. As for me, I went to my room and cried myself to sleep.

The next day, I was waiting on the front porch for Michael to
pick me up. Maybe this was a sign that he thought expand our
friendship, too. And then, I saw his expensive black Chevy pull
up. I jumped up and ran to the car and got in.

"Where are you taking?" I asked.

"It's a surprise." He joked.

My eyes grew bigger and I got in. My body was almost shaking with
excitement!

We drove a few miles out of town to a small secluded lake.
Michael parked the car and we got out. He opened his trunk and
pulled out a large red bag. He tosses me a sandwich from the bag.

"I hope you like ham and turkey."

I smiled and nodded my head.

He laid out a blanket for us to sit down on as we ate. I couldn't
stop smiling the whole time.

As we finished our sandwiches, Miguel got up, took off his shoes
and socks.

"Boy it's hot." He cried. "Let's take a swim!"

"Uh, okay!" I agreed.

I got up and started stripping until I only had my underwear on
and was shock as I watched Michael pull down his boxers.

I laughed and asked what the hell he was doing.

"Come on! You've never skinny dipped before."

"No!"

He joked and jumped in the lake completely nude. He popped up and
said no one will see us. As shocked as I was, I followed and
finally pulled everything down. I closed my eyes and ran in.

"Holy shit! It's cold!"

"Feels good, doesn't it?"

As I nodded, he swam closer to me until our bodies touched.

He looked into my eyes and said, "I really like you, Christopher
Miller."

"I really like you too, Michael Flynn." Then he slowly moved in
and kissed me. I couldn't believe this was happening! As he moved
his head back, I started to blush.