Does God speak? In the silence of the wilderness, in the shattering noise of a city street? What does it mean to wrestle with gender, and not accept the standard of just being gay? What does it mean to speak about that journey, accepting others, yet still be true to your own self?
This is my journey out of silence, out of the shadows of others, not afraid of my own voice, rather, listening to my Rabbi speak my name, giving me strength.

Friday, July 05, 2013

Sabbatical Rest...

So it's July 5th!

Unemployed...no income...and yet...God is sustaining and showing me how to live life, differently than before.

I'm not saying that the way I was living before was wrong, but I believe that we all move and transform as God directs our steps, and especially through TRANSITIONS.

Today, I write from my home office. (screened tent outside on the deck) I look around at the abundant green, the plants blooming and unfinished fence, the paint peeling off of the garage...and I give thanks. Thankfulness is what I am choosing to focus on during this time. I could easily complain. YES, I complain. There have been days when I have been consumed with wanting a totally renovated house, a fence, a car, a new garage, when I've focused on 'others' rather than being content with where things are at and focusing in on God who supplies all our needs. That's sinfulness. It's coveting what others have! So I repent and refocus my eyes on the Lord, the sustain-er and giver of all good things...in His time.

John 10:14,15 reads "I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me - just as the Father knows me and I know the Father - I lay down my life for the sheep."

Jesus is a good shepherd...and He knows me and has laid down his life for me...for Paula and Phoebe. Do not be anxious about anything...anything!

What am I like as a sheep? Well, my eyes will tend to turn to the next green grassy hill, even though I'm already grazing in one. I am bent to look down, not taking in account of everything that is going on around me. Sometimes I need the shepherd to herd me back (sometimes with the help of a trusted dog!)
Sheep are possibly the dumbest animals around...and yet...in John we read that Jesus knows us and we know him. That we can trust his voice and his sovereign plan for us.

The plan is to rest. To seek the Lord in new ways and to find a foundation that is firm outside of Ministry. I feel called to ministry, yet it can't be the thing that sustains my relationship with the Lord. To be honest, I feel a bit burned out. It's been difficult the past year and I know without a doubt that God worked through every situation to bring me to this place today. So I could stop...chill out...and to pursue him fully, in new and fresh ways.

It's also a time for our family to have some fun. It's been a long time coming. I recognize that our holidays were always tacked on to a ministry event (which meant that we often were decompressing what we heard during our holidays, rather than just enjoying life around us!) We are in need of this season. In 7 years we've traveled extensively for ministry and now we need to get to a cabin, sit by a lake, go fishing, play in a splash park, go for walks, fly kites etc. (if anyone can help in regards to this let us know, finances are tight, we don't have a car...and so we need to be creative during this time)

I've also recognized that our families often are the ones that get the back burner. Our siblings, our nieces and nephews, our Mom's and Dad's have often gotten the left overs of Kenny and Paula and Phoebe and this too needs to change. I miss knowing who they are, at a heart level.

So a Sabbatical Rest? Yes, that's what we feel God has called us into this summer. I may be very...VERY slow in responding to emails, or phone calls, but I will get back to you eventually. Please know that this is not a reflection of who you are or how I think of you. I love each of you, but I need to limit media! I will hopefully blog on a more regular basis, and am very much open to times with friends...eating watermelon, sipping wine on the deck by a fire! We can't say we can travel to you...but you can travel to us. We may not have wine...or watermelon, but your free to bring some!

I'm very much looking forward in this time, knowing that God is very much in control and in tune with everything that is going on.

We cherish your prayers for us as a family, as we take this time to pray, rest, transition, make fun memories, and seek God's Kingdom.

For those who have an inclination to support us financially during this transition time, you can private message me at kennyp66@gmail.com Thank you for those who have shown an interest in doing this for us. It has blessed us tremendously.

Kenny and PaulaIt was with great joy that I sat with you over some coffee the other day. I was encouraged through your story and blessed by the bits of testimony you shared with me - but most of all - I loved seeing Jesus through you guys! I hope you will take me up on some retreat/sabbath rest. Blessings.Hope you don't mind - I knew you had a blog - I have appreciated your authenticity with which you share! Blessings on you three!!In His GripJoy Klassen

rest is lovely.. I look for it often. And feel either people get the short end of the stick with me.. or else I get with others.. we work and work and stress and are anxious... and then go home to deflate in silence.. or in busyness.. but never in His stillness really. anyways.. keep in touch! - alyssa

About Me

My wife and I are learning from others that living ideally in a close knit community, reaching out to others and being debt free are important. Sharing stories and inspiring people to be the best that they can be. We enjoy music, poetic lyrics and art.
Art and words (spoken), any way you look at it, is an expression of someone's inner workings, what is actually being brought out into the light of day, either on canvas or on paper. We enjoy moments of self reflection as we pick up a pencil, paint brush or camera. It is actually liberating to turn the TV off and walk into creation...and get your hands dirty.