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How to deal with a controlling mother? kinda long sorry

Okay Dh and I share a house with My Mom. we half the rent and the bills. Well My Mom just got the Gastric Bypass surgery and lost a lot of weight. She has this new boyfriend who is taking precedents over EVERYTHING. He smokes so I ask that he not smoke around the house. Im 9 months pregnant and it makes me sick. She got mad that I asked for him not to smoke. He is really weird he wont talk to DH or I even if we initiate the conversation. Then she gets mad that we don't talk to him anymore. Well if he isnt gonna talk back why keep trying? She still brings him over while he wreaks of cigarettes so I go into my Room. She says Im being rude. Everything is about this man now and its really getting old. DH works at walmart so he has a discount card. She asked if we could go with her to buy some xmas gifts and use the discount. It was an hour before Dh had to be at work and we were right in the middle of something.

So I asked her if we could just go in an hour when Dh left for work anyway cause He was getting dressed and helping me with stuff. Then she started yelling â€œNo because the longer I wait for you the less time I get with Tom(her new boyfriend) tonight!â€ uuh excuse me if im wrong but wasnâ€™t she asking us for a favor? Which should have been around our schedule not hers right? She leaves everyday after she has been at work all day to see this man and doesnâ€™t come back until 10 sometimes. I wouldnâ€™t care except she leaves my 13 year old sister home alone.

Answer by
Anonymous
at 9:15 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

DH and I arenâ€™t always here. She keeps telling me if I go into labor, which should be anytime nowâ€¦ To call her from Tomâ€™s house and sheâ€™ll come. I told her If she was at Tomâ€™s house I wasnâ€™t going to call. The way she has been acting with him I can see the conversation now.
Me: Im in Labor
Her: Why did you have to go into labor now? Itâ€™s cutting into my Tom timeâ€¦(Boohoo)
So after I told her that she got pissed and threw a fit. Plus I have to call HIS cell phone to get to her and I donâ€™t want to talk to the guy he is a weirdo. My Sister and DH agree that we wont tell her if she is at his house because of the way she gets around him or when she has been around himâ€¦ Its really weird! Plus as I said he smokes and it makes me sick.

Answer by
Anonymous
at 9:16 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

I refuse to be in labor and smell the smoke on her clothes. Ive asked her about that too. I said â€œif I do call you from Toms will you atleast change so I donâ€™t have to smell the smoke?â€ she said no and I had no right to ask.. And that I was trying to break them up and I was jealous and suchâ€¦ If she is getting dressed Ill ask out of curiosity â€œwhere ya goingâ€ she says â€œNone of your business im an adultâ€â€¦ really? She only answers snidely when it comes to Tom also. I donâ€™t get it. But then she tries to control me by knowing when and where I will be places and if im walking out of the house she HAS to know where im going.

Answer by
Anonymous
at 9:16 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

The other day I took a walk around the block cause she was bitching and didnâ€™t tell her. She called my Dh home and everything to come looking for me cause I was mad at her and â€œran awayâ€ Then when I got home she continued on to tell me that I NEED to tell her where im going. I said â€œBut im an adult its none of your business!â€ she got pissed all over again.. IDK what to do about her childish behavior due to this new manâ€¦? What would you ladies do? DH and I want to move out but its not in our financial abilities to do so right now. Plus I donâ€™t want to leave my sister with my Mom acting this wayâ€¦ Any advice?

Answer by
Anonymous
at 9:17 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

Thats a bad situation,but your mom is an adult and it seems that she is in the ''im in love stage'' and nothing else matters but her feelings at the moment.Personally if you are able to I would move as soon as possible.Since you share half the rent and the bills she should be willing to compromise.Good luck.The smoking thing would irritate me to no end,seems like there is no respect at all with regards to that situation.

haha lstrickland... You need to grow up. Seriously what kind of an answer is that?

Don't listen to lstrickland she is dumb! anyway I understand people like this. Nothing else matters to them. Has she always been this way or is it new to only care about herself? I think its a good thing you're doing taking care and looking after your sister. My Mom was kind of like this growing up, not nearly as bad from what youre saying though. I'd say blow it off. Ignore her. Do whats best for you and Your baby, DH and sister. Doesnt sound like she is there a lot anyway? Just pretty much forget she lives there and go on with daily life and don't let her get to you. With people like that, thats how you have to be. I doubt lstrickland has ever had to deal with anyone like this so her immature mind isnt comprehending what is going on.

Answer by
Anonymous
at 1:41 AM on Nov. 13, 2009

1-7 of 7 answers

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