Fatback and A Fancy Evening

December 31, 2016

So… you might have heard me once or twice talk about how I have always loved the Lord but there was a time where I was not living for the Lord… Ok. Just prefacing the story to cover my little self… This was during that time. And this isn’t a real spiritual post. Just FYIn’ ya. But, it’s one I have got to tell.

Ok. Back to the story.

So, as I was about to say… Waaaaay back when Andy rendezvoused me off to the mountains for a premarital getaway where we ran into literally half my family on the streets of downtown and I was certain they knew our motel room had smoky mirrors on the ceiling and the hot tub was inches from the bed just by the look on my face. Yeah. I was devastated. More like mortified. Ruined. Shamed. But, let’s just move on.I’ve been forgiven.

Well, on this little trip he took me out for a fancy little dinner and after he had goosed me up (I know, this story is just no good) with their best “house wine” he offered me a juicy looking shrimp. He knew I LOVED grilled shrimp. However. It wasn’t shrimp! Of course, between the glasses of wine, the half-lit restaurant and my pre-Lasik vision I couldn’t see 12 inches past my nose. Bless me. Just remember, this was way before my little self-was convicted of consuming alcohol and screaming Jesus…. I know. That’s another post.Till then, back to the shrimp… It was seriously the grossest, biggest, juiciest piece of fat off his steak. And it looked like the most delicious, most plump, mouth-watering grilled shrimp I had ever seen. And as he forked it over to my side of the table, I just gobbled it up with the sweetest grin. Fancy scene. That is until it hit the back of my throat and I felt the grease glob slide all the way down to my belly where it just sat there and gurgled for the next 5 hours. It was horrible. I was so sick. Like, immediately. I’m telling you, It’s been over 16 years and I still have nightmares.

So. Why am I telling you this?Good question. For about six months now I’ve been HOOKED on this delicious cheese. I mean. To die for!Well, all this cheese eatin’ has rubbed off on Andy and he’s now crazy about it as well. What can I say… I’m an influencer. He’s always walking by the fridge and grabbing the dish and slicing him a few pieces. Well. I had bought some fancy butter for Christmas. Oh yeah. You see where this is going… Well, someone placed it in a glass container just like the one we keep the fancy cheese in… Yeah.

Well, I can’t even tell you how hilarious it was when he sliced him a good ole’ juicy piece of fancy cheese and plopped it in his mouth only to realize it was butter. I mean butter is good… But really, go chew on some butter and call me. Nobody just eats butter. It’s gross.

Immediately, I was taken away to the “fatback and fancy evening” and the thought was just too much for me. I’m still laughing…I’m not a “revenge is sweet” kinda person, but can I just say this got a hold of me! I mean. I’m writing a post about it and clearly sharing with you way too much about my saucy days. It was a memorable moment…Ok. Maybe I never forgave him. Maybe I’m getting a tiny bit of satisfaction… You know, It’s these moments in the marriage that keep it so good and so real. Amiright?❤️