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Monday, June 20, 2005

Should I ask him today ??, Is it really my business?? What if he gets offended?? What if she gets offended? More importantly what if our friendship gets affected ?? Is it worth taking the risk??Suddenly a Yamaha bike swerved in from the left in the already confusing traffic. I forgot which gear I was in!!! I quickly pressed my right foot hard and after I was in the highest of gears, struck back the lever to settle in second gear!!!!!As I finished performing this high adrenaline action under great stress in record time,I lifted my head, remembering whatever little swear words I know. The Yamaha guy was nowhere to be seen!!!How did he disappear so fast? Is it some professional biker hired to kill me!!! ????Before my imagination can play any more tricks on me, I noticed a fellow bike rider ,riding a few metres ahead of me,being given a lesson in “emergency preparedness” by our beloved Yamaha guy!!!!!“These guys will learn only after collecting some coins*”

I swore not to think of anything while driving. I sincerely followed it for the next 71 seconds.

Oh!!!, I completely forgot to introduce myself. My name is Gautham . I go to office everyday day and provide solutions using computer. People say Iam a software professional and think iam being modest when I deny that!!

Anyway forget about me. This story is about my thickest of friends Dinesh and Sonia.Ours is the luckiest of all friendships, which faced very little challenges,until I the day everything changed because of me.

Myself and Dinesh had been friends from time immemorial!!! We first met Sonia during our Eleventh standard.Sonia’s dad had been transferred to Chennai and she was new to our class/school. We initially used to tease her a lot like all the other guys in our class, succumbing to peer pressure but very soon we found Sonia to be real friendly and intelligent. It was a just a matter of time before we became strong friends.But the interesting part is that our twelfth marks were in the same range , so we got into the same college and in the same group and after 4 years ,got placed in the same company through campus recruitment!!!!!

We never miss a chance to get together . I cant remember how many thousands of hours we have spent together roaming around chennai. Even now I am going to Dinesh’s home, from where we have planned to go to a movie.

Ok, let me get to the point. I have a very strong suspiscion that these guys are in Love!!How do I know that ?? well , its kinda hard to explain.I can just see it but I can never pin point one single instance when they behaved like anything other than friends.Still it was very hard to miss as I was their closest friend. I could feel that there was definitely something. Her smiles towards him always had that element of “extra kindness”. An involuntary addition to a voluntary gesture which can only come from a heart struck with love. Like that extra ice in the cool drink served to a lonely desert traveler on hot summer day.And his words to her had that “extra care”. Its as if they were packaged with soft wool so that it does not hurt her in any way.But what do I do about it??? I cant just go ahead and ask “So when are you guys gonna marry???”What if they deny ?? Will our friendship be the same again????But being a impatient idiot as Iam I couldn’t stand this. I decided to find an end to this today. They always knew I was crazy so there wasn’t too much of damage done I thought!!! J

I reached his home and was sipping orange squash given by aunty when Dinesh entered the hall!!!“So Gautam, are you ready to experience the ultimate movie experience of your LIFE??”“Oh Yes , but are you ready to get splatted if this one turns out be a flop??”

Dinesh has the worst expertise in the selection of movies. Once he was nowhere to be seen when one of the movies he had chosen got over,as myself and Sonia turned towards his seat resolving to push him off the Gemini flyover on the way home!!! My God ,that evening was fun!!! J

We went to Sonia’s home in his car. I wanted to use this chance to ask him!!!Hmmm ,no this is not the time. Above all I would ruin his evening and mine too!!!We picked her from her home and went to the movie hall.

As we were coming back Sonia was full of her appreciation for the Hero’s acting. That’s her favourite Hero. I just realized that’s why dinesh had chosen the movie in the first place!!!I wanted to tell them that I myself looked a bit like the Hero in that movie!! ,but I decided against saying it.

“Ok Bye guys!!! See you tomm at office “Sonia got down in her place!!“Bye”,we chorused back.

“whats the problem Gautham ?? you look a little subdued??”,dinesh was the one to start.“hmm,actually I wanted to ask you something!”

He looked at me a little quizzically but I got the feeling he was guessing“Just tell me da! What is it”

“Are you loving Sonia”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????

I practiced these words in my mind!!!! Can I ask him . should I ask him!!!!!????

“When are you gonna take the tickets for the cricket match???”,I finally managed to say something!!!!!!!!

I could see my astral body coming out of me and kicking me real hard!!!“Yeah we shall get it da,no probs,there is still time-na?”,Dinesh was his usual cool self.

By the time we had arrived at his home.

As I got into my bike dinesh said.”Hey I thought the Hero in the movie looks a little like you from a distance !! Ha ha ,See you tomorrow,Good night”

I let out a smile which he could notice,waved my hand and kicked started my bike.“I will definitely ask him tomorrow”,I resolved

To be continued…………

*collecting coins – literal translation of a tamil slang. You collect coins after falling down and the when the coins roll off from your pockets.*Gemini flyover – a flyover in chennai.

Dinesh’s eyes were so red . I was not sure whether it was because of him not able to sleep or because of him crying so much or because he has been drinking so much. My heart pained so much to see him killing himself and the fact that I couldn’t do anything about it.“Know something??? I personally think vodka is better than beer”,I remarked.The beer bottle turned into a vodka bottle.“You fool,If only I had known You loved Sonia, I would have…”,I couldn’t face Dinesh as I was saying this.Sonia had committed suicide after her marriage was fixed with someone else as she had loved Dinesh. Both never confessed their love to each other.There was a wry smile from Dinesh.“Its better if I die than having to live this.”,he saidThe vodka bottle morphed into a poison bottle as he gobbled it into his throat.“Dinesh, Noooooooooooooooooo”

I woke up with a jerk.What kind of ridiculous dream is that!!!!!!!!Real stupid and real scary!!!!People with high creativity and imagination are said to have high activity in the right side of their brain. I sometimes got the feeling that whole of my brain was right brain. I smiled as I tried to imagine such a brain.

I told Dinesh to come to our “spot” in the evening. It’s a bridge under construction for a looooooooooooong time.It looked as if it would be entangled in red tape for the rest of my life before it could get completed. Myself and Dinesh usually go there and talk for a while when we don’t have any planned outing.He was surprised when I asked him not to tell about this “meeting in the spot” to Sonia.“hey man , are you alright?? Is something wrong”, he enquired.“will tell you in the evening”,I replied without much of an expression.“Hmmm Ok”, he wasn’t fully satisfied with my answer.

Twice he contacted me through MSN and asked me to tell him what it is. The second time he was just asking for a hint or clue. I told him to wait till the evening.

In the evening , he walked towards me as I was leaning on the parapet wall of the half completed bridge. He silently leaned with his back towards the wall without saying anything.I seriously didn’t know how to ask him.After a while he couldn’t take the suspense.

“Are you in love or something??? I am your best friend and I would have known if there is something ,but I know there isn’t anything.”“This is not about me da,Its about you”

He looked at me with an expectant look.“Its about you and Sonia”

“You mean….”,he enquired.“Don’t you think yourself and sonia would be a perfect match?? Why don’t you guys marry”,I finished with a single breath.

He turned his face away.“For god’s sake , how long are you gonna hide it?? I am not blind . You guys are in love aren’t you??? Whom are you cheating by not telling anyone?? Come on Gautham,you can tell atleast me.”

He didn’t reply.He was looking at a sodium vapour lamp which was a few hundred feet away.He didn’t talk for a long time.

“Actually I myself wanted to tell you about thisI really don’t how it all started but I like her so much da,I know she would make a perfect wife for me. But I don’t how to approach this . Iam not entirely sure whether she is in love in with me! How can I ask her?? Do you know the pain I go through even for any slightest indication that she might not be in love me??? I cant imagine whether I can survive if she doesn’t share my feeling.I really love so much man!!!!Also I know the friendship between the three of us wont be the same after my proposal.I don’t have the heart to ruin our friendship.And you know fully well that our parents will never agree even if she loves me”

Dear ladies and gentleman, I think I forgot to tell you about one small complication in this whole scenario. Sonia and Dinesh belong to two different religions. Dinesh is a Hindu while Sonia is a Christian. I could see that Dinesh is in a fairly decent mess and is going through a fairly helpless situation.I noticed there were tears in his eyes. I realized that Love can make even the strongest man to break down.There is a widespread notion that women are the weaker sex.I don’t know about that ,but I am absolutely sure that ,when it comes to Love ,Men are the weaker sex.

Just then I got an idea.“Hey Dinesh , lets take one module(?!) at a time!!,Lets deal with Sonia first and then we can worry about the parents.what say??”He nodded slowly in approval. His eyes were back on that sodium vapour lamp again.

“If you don’t mind , can I suggest an idea?? I shall talk to Sonia. I shall tell her that I have a doubt in my mind and want to clarify from her. I will ask her whether she is in love with you. I wont tell her that you love her.No matter what the answer is she would never be informed of our meeting now.If she says she loves you. I leave you to find the right time to propose to her.If she says No then I shall apologize for my imagination and shall pass it off somehow , there wont be any damage done to our friendship!!!What do you think??? “

He was into thought.“Think this is not such a bad idea after all!!”,was all he had to say.We talked for a long time that day after this conversation.

Thus , the most unforgettable and fateful meeting with Sonia was decided.

To be continued…------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Efforts and Results part III*************************

I knew the meeting with Sonia would be tricky and I didn’t know what to expect.I called her the next day in the office.“Hi Sonia,got any work??”“Some documentation stuff, bit free today, tell me , whats the matter??”“I want to talk to you, Can you come over to our building terrace??”

“Now??”There was bit of a pause from her side.“Will meet at 4 . what say???”“Ok no problems”.

I replaced the receiver in its place.At four I went to the terrace and was waiting for her near the steps.

She was exactly 3 minutes and 18 seconds late.“So whats the matter??? Got rejected by someone??”, the playfulness was so obvious.“Nothing Sonia , I wanted to know something!! Please don’t tell about this meeting to Dinesh”

She raised her eyebrows.“Hey don’t give too much of a buildup!! Whats the problem???”“Sonia, you shouldn’t take me wrongly, Iam just asking you this because this is what I felt”Her face turned serious.“ya tell me.”I took a deep breath.“Are in Love with Dinesh”I could see her losing her temper!!!!

“Are you crazy???what has gotten into you??“No Sonia , I just felt…..”“What nonsense??? I cant believe you of all guys can be sick enough not to understand friendship”. Cant a boy and girl just stay as close friends????”

“No,Iam sorry I mean………….”I was very very embarrassed.I knew the damage had been done.I was so sure but the belief had started to vanish. I could only curse my stupidity and wonder whether I had done the right thing.I couldn’t stop feeling sorry for Dinesh . Poor Guy.Its a good thing that he is gonna get the message indirectly from me instead of him having to propose her and “face the music”.

“Don’t you know Iam a christian and he is a Hindu???? It will never work out. Also what will our parents say?? Don’t you know how much we love and respect our parents??Even if they agree for the marriage there will problems life long. They have to face wrath and humiliation from their relatives.. Is this what we will repay them with for all the effort they had put in to raise us into this level.And…..”

She was emotionally charged up and sounded like she was gonna cry.I was really sorry for having to put her through this.

“Iam really sorry Sonia. I just felt and…….”Just then it hit me. She never actually said she didn’t love Dinesh.“Hey!! Can you look into my eyes and say you don’t love him???”,I asked her.

She looked into my eyes. Her eyes were misted with tears.She turned away from me.“I…….I....,I mean I like dinesh ….. but…” , she was struggling to complete the line.“Yeah but….how can I …I mean ….I don’t know what to do”,she couldn’t continue.

After a while he arrived. I still cant explain the expression on his face as he saw Sonia crying. For a minute I sensed he wanted to hug her and comfort her , but decided against it as his senses alerted him of my presence.“Sonia,why are you crying??? Gautham!! What happened da????”“Dinesh, I think you and Sonia need to have a chat”

I left without waiting for his reply.I knew our lives will never be the same right that instant.

To be continued…------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Efforts and Results - Epilogue****************************

Life is not perfect.It was never meant to be.

There was a strong opposition on both sides for Dinesh/Sonia ‘s affair. I was instantly banished from both the homes and there was an incident when Dinesh and Sonia’s brother almost came to blows. But after 1.5 years of persuasion both sides relented. Meanwhile Dinesh got a better job in Bangalore and soon Sonia followed suit. Now both are happily settled there. Its not perfectly smooth though. Sonia’s acceptance into Dinesh’s family is only half hearted.Dinesh often asks me whenever I go to Bangalore as to why did I take the effort to unite them. I simply smile off the question.Because I myself don’t know the answer .It was simply an instinctive reaction I felt like doing on seeing what I thought was upsetting my friends. Many a times I wonder what would have happened if their love was not strong enough to resist the challenges they faced.That would have caused lot of unwanted confusion in their lives and brought in a lot of avoidable problems in our lives.AnywayAlls well that ends well.

Guess many a times the value of your efforts is decided solely based on results. Which I think is fairly unfair. Guess we aren’t blessed with the ability to accurately predict the results and put our effort accordingly , and so we just got to put our effort based on whatever our mind tells and hope we get the right results.Sure , you will make mistakes. But that’s the only way to life your life fully.

The End

Friday, June 10, 2005

I knew something was wrong as soon as I entered our team’s workplace. I found Rajeev staring very seriously at the monitor . Rajeev !! , in office so early in the morning??? It took me a couple of minutes to ascertain that I was not dreaming. I went near to his cubicle and peeped over to have a glimpse of what he was watching.I was sure its going to be one of those latest forwards.”All Roads lead to Rome”,is an old proverb.I have grown to realize that all the best forwards originate from Rajeev!!!!

I know peeking into someone’s monitor is not the most decent thing to do but our friendship has broken the barriers of such false decencies long back. He was the only guy in the world who knows all my secrets and vice versa.

Imagine my horror when I saw lines of crazy green on a black window.

I was no Einstein , but I figured quite easily that it cant be a forward!!! It’s the interface of our client’s mainframe!!!! Rajeev is working!!!!!!!!!! I felt as if iam going to faint.

“Good Morning Rajeev”, I wished him with a smile.

“I shall definitely deliver this before EOD”,he retorted back.

I was bamboozled!!!! What is wrong with him??

“Hey Its me CVR,wake up!!!,I just said Good morning”

“Oh yeah!! Thanks!! “

Thanks!!!!!????? For a Good morning!!! ??

Hmmm,perhaps space aliens have kidnapped the real Rajeev and have replaced him with some dumbo, or there is some problem in his home. Either way I knew its my call to step in.

“Ok chal,lets have tea”,I patted on his shoulder.

I had just had tea from my office coffee machine. The extra sweetness was still in my tongue . But I can endure this for Rajeev.

“Now??!!! Hmmm….I have got some work man!!”

I can see he was very upset so wanted to lock himself in work.

I stared at him real hard.

He pressed ctrl+alt+del and then a space in a single action and followed me like a lamb.

We took our cups of coffee and sat on the stairs in the fire exit.

“So whats the problem???”, I asked.

“Nothing man!! Just a little work pressure!!!”,he replied.

I almost spat the tea as I controlled my laughter.

“Tell this to your wife,may be she will believe it. Not to me man!!! I know you all too well to see through silly jokes like this”

He sipped his tea , thought for a second and replied.

“Hmmm .. there is nothing wrong in telling you I guess , after all you are my closest friend.Actually its about sumathi only da”

He sipped his tea again.

I knew it. Thats the reason I put the word wife in my question in the first place!!!

Perceptions part II

Sumathi is Rajeev’s wife . He had told me about his love even before he proposed to her . J

I always thought they were made for each other . I was there supervising all the arrangements when they got married. Sumathi was never too friendly towards me. I could never figure out why. I felt Rajeev was spending very very little time with me after he got married. I had no complaints. I was smart enough to know that a spouse is the best friend you can get. Every other friend come next .

“Hmm why what happened??”

“I don’t know da. I mean…..” , he paused,not knowing what to say.

“You know ours is a love marriage and I proposed to her . I loved her so so much , I still do. But in the recent past I feel she has changed !! I mean she is not the same as she used to be when I loved her. She gets angry at me all the time. She complains about silly things and nags me over and over for everything . She is always tired whenever I plan to go out with her and she wants me to take her out suddenly when I settle down for some relaxing time. She does not take any effort to understand me.”

He was shaking his head and was staring at the door . I was quiet .Then he continued

“ I had thought I knew everything about her and I had thought that I had completely understood her but nowadays she is so unpredictable. She makes so much of fuss about doing simple things that my mom used to do every single day for years !! We quarrel over something or the other everyday. Today we had a big fight.I yelled at her real bad.”

So this is the cause of the extra enthu towards work!! I thought to myself.

“This is nothing like what I had imagined. This is .. this is .. “

It looked he was gonna break down.

“Hey its ok”, I put my hands on his shoulder and massaged like a boxing instructor.

I could feel he was feeling better.

“I can fully understand your problem –da”.

He looked at me.I could see he was skeptical as to what an unmarried person like me would me know about the problems of a marriage.

“You know what’s one of the biggest problem with a man/woman relationship???”,I questioned him.

“what??”, he replied

“We don’t think women are women”

There was a brief smile in his face and he was curious to hear my explanation. I knew I had got his attention.

“The problem is that either women are considered as slaves and not given their due rights and credits or we think they are angels!

Perfect creations who can do no wrong,who will always smile,who will never get angry , who will listen to whatever you say,who will do everything right everytime.

We imagine they will always look like the cutest film star all through the day. We imagine they will never complain about anything”.

Rajeev was looking into the empty cup.

“You said she was always tired whenever you wanted to go out. Did you ask her why she was so tired?? Did you ask her whether there was any problem with anybody or was there a problem in office ??

May be she wanted you to ask her why she was tired and that’s why she said she was tired!!!!

But you didn’t ask her anything,did you??”

He looked at me surprised and said,” Ï thought she was genuinely tired“.

“She was tired boss , but not physically”, I smiled.

“You said she nags you all the while. Does it happen when you happen to watch your favourite program on TV on a Sunday and she complains about you not helping her out with dusting the cobwebs? ? “ . He nodded at me with amazement.

“Well.what can I say? You know iam your closest friend but if called for a mediation in this issue,I shall definitely support her”.

”You see we tend to notice the best side of our partner when we are in love, that’s natural.

But you should be ready for a few surprises when you marry that person. Falling in love is a lot easier than being in love. But its worth all the effort.

Life can be a perfect paradise if you can learn to understand your wife, but it can be worser than hell if you fail to do so. Sadly there are no grey areas in this!!

And remember one thing,Your wife is not your mom.dont make the mistake of trying to fit your wife in the place of your mom”

I was waiting for him to reply.

“Hmm guess you are right”,he said.

He was silent ,thinking hard about something

“I get the feeling your wife will be the luckiest girl in the world”, he was smiling widely.

There was just a small chuckle from my side.

He understood.Like I told before ,he knows all my secrets.

”Sorry da”,he said.

“Forget about me,I think you might want to ask sorry to somebody else “,The smile as I winked at him.

“ Of ,course da”,he replied. He straight away started dialing in his mobile.

I went back to my place. After a while I saw him getting back to his seat looking very emotional and with a big smile.

My MSN flashed.

Rajeev says:

Machan,you are great da,I just talked to her!! And …

He was typing again

CVR says:

Say no more,I can guess!!!! Enjoy madi!!!! J *

Rajeev says:

Thank you so much da

CVR says:

Anytime!!!

The forwards continued to fill my mailbox.

* enjoy madi – means enjoy in kannada

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

It was yet another normal morning!! I was staring at her with my mind full of questions. Sadly I knew I wouldn’t get the answers so fast. She has put me in a lot of confusions right from the first day I have seen her . I have wondered a lot of times as to what really happens in that rectangular black box. I am referring to my PC with the flat screen monitor, of course!!!Just then my MSN flashed. I could see it was from Divya .There was a smile in my face

Divya says:Hi GMCVR says:Very good morning madam!!!I have grown to address all my friends who are girls as madam. Not many seem to mind too much, so I don’t.

Divya says:Read your story , real nice!!!!CVR says:Thanks !! hey , Its not a story , it was a poem!!! L

I always knew there was a flaw in my rhyming, but I didn’t expect my closest friend to mistake it as a story!!

Divya says:Whatever!! , Hey listen I have to tell you something!!I knew it. Otherwise she wouldn’t have bothered to initiate the chat.

CVR says: What is it ?? the samsung guy proposed to you???There was a former teammate of her’s who got a job in Samsung. They still keep in touch. I never miss a chance to tease her with that. I carry that operation with the utmost sincerity.

Divya says: Hey loose , I told you-na we are just friends!!!She knows iam just kidding but she never misses a chance to call me loose. It’s a sort of secret deal between us.

CVR says: then what??Divya says: will tell you during lunch. Ok I got work!! Gotta go.CVR says : hey what is it?? Ok we will see during lunch.Divya says: And one more thing.CVR says:????Divya says: Next time you write a poem . mention that in the bottom so that people can know!!!CVR says: :@:@ grrrrr . Ok get on with your work . BFN (bye for now)Divya says: bfn J

I closed the chat window. Just then my PM crossed over my cubicle.Working in office needs more timing than playing a cover drive!!!

I started thinking what is it she would want to tell me. Sure it must be something exhaustive so that she decided to talk about it rather than discuss in chat. Also it must have happened very recently that she didn’t have time to call me or SMS me about it!!!Me and Divya had been friends right from college days. Our friendship has stood through the usual gossip stories that echoes through the college corridors and the rigours of office work, which makes even the closer ones to lose touch. She had joined this company some 2-3 months before I had joined. She had given me a lot of moral support during the days when I had roamed about without a job.Our parents are the bigger friends than we are. My mom and her mom work in the same school and both our families get together a lot during free time. We have a written agreement that I shall choose her future husband and she would choose my wife!!!Wonder what she is gonna say during lunch.

Kung fu warriors of ancient times used to have skills that made them detect arrival of an impending threat. I suddenly had a same feeling .I snapped out of my thoughts and started looking into the java code My PL entered my cubicle with a “ good morning” and took his seat which was adjacent to me!!

To be continued………..Syntax without logic – part II

I entered the food court at 12.40. It’s a time we both had settled for, we don’t need reminders to make the other person come for lunch.It’s a routine we had fallen into. But iam the one who usually comes first and she always keeps me waiting.

I felt as if couple of girls were looking at me and giggling about something!! I looked at them under the false context of searching for a friend.“Is it over”.It was Divya“Whaa what?? “,”Oh Divya,why did you come so early“

“You were looking at those two girls,weren’t you”.“Of course, why you thought I was looking for you?? “

We both settled on to our usual table.“So whats it”, I asked.“whats what?? “

She knew exactly what I was talking about but she derived a lotta pleasure in acting dumb. Sometimes I thought she does not have to act too much for this!!“My parents have located an alliance for me”, she told with a smile.I was so happy. I was grinning widely partly due to the happy news and partly due to the imagining the guy’s misfortune!!

“wow!! That’s a great news!! Whoever thought God is merciful should imagine that guy’s life!!” I was laughing uncontrollably.She aimed for a blow ,which she never attemptedand continued!!“His name is Shashi. He works in XYZ company,saw his photo,looks OK”Divya never openly admitted she liked any guy,I have grown to accept it as a natural tendency in most girls!!!“So whats his sal!!! J onsite guy”, I enquired.

“Don’t be so cheap,hey listen the guy is not interested in the usual pen paarkkum padalam* ,he wants to have a diff kinda meeting instead”

“Hmm,that’s interesting!! What does he want to do?? Meet you in a pub??”,the sarcasm was obvious.But I was beginning to like the guy already. I personally believed that the traditional approach was a little out of time in today’s world. I thought it was too humiliating for both parties, especially the girls. Finally the alliance is fixed mainly based on the parents views but the blame is put on the poor guy who nods his head more with confusion as he tastes his coffee.

“No, he wants me to meet him in Elliots* with a close friend of mine. I just wanted to inform you that we are going on Sunday”

I would have personally liked a meeting arranged only with both the parents in a temple but this was ok though. After all, Its his life. But I felt little odd about me accompanying her.“Hmmm,Divya , May be you should take some girl with you, you never know how the guy is like , may be he would take it wrongly!!” , I was at my serious best.

“Nonsense!!! If he can’t understand our friendship then I would not want to live with such a sick guy .But I had already told him that Iam gonna come with you and he said Ok“.Wow , that was fast!!! It looked as if its gonna be really hard to convince her!!“That’s fine , but imagine what your parents would feel?? ““hey if you don’t wanna come just tell me that, but don’t give me such stupid reasons.By the way, my parents are fully aware that you are gonna accompany me and they could not find any other closer friend.Hey amma wanted to meet you today evening”

“ok ok, I just have to cancel my date with Aishwarya but think I can do it for a friend!!”“Aishwarya?? She is too old for you dude, think you should start finding someone much younger”

Her reply was even more serious than my statement!!! Noone can beat Divya in Sarcasm.

………………………………………………………………………………………………Later that evening I found myself munching dosas in Divya’s home.“I can only hope Divya behaves herself in front of that guy CVR. The alliance looks real nice and I want this to get fixed somhow”, Divya’s mom was saying as she put one more dosa in my plate.

“don’t worry mami,Things will turn out perfectly fine. Its very hard for anyone to not like a nice girl like Divya”, I couldn’t suppress a brief smirk on my face as I said this.Just then my mobile rang.“hello”“yeah”“Yeah yeah , divya had told me,how are you doing?”“fine”“Near the police booth?? K sure,see you there”“Fine!! Thanks”

It was Shashi.He had called to confirm the place and time.Interesting guy. I was looking forward to meet him.

*Elliots – a famous beach in chennai.* pen paarkkum padalam – a traditional custom where in the “would be” groom visits thebride’s place with all his family and an alliance is fixed.

To be continued……….

Syntax without logic – part III

I reached the beach well in advance. It was a beautiful evening with the sea breeze gently caressing my hair. I picked up the mobile and dialed Divya’s number first.She was not picking it up. Think she is in bike. Then I dialed Shashi’s number. I got connected.“Hi Shashi”“Yeah I have come”“You have arrived as well???”I looked around and saw a guy holding a mobile facing the road.“You wearing a blue shirt?? Ok I can see you ,Bye“

The guy placed the mobile back into his pouch and started looking around.Now I was sure that the guy was Shashi.Shashi looked very cultured and soft. He reminded me of tamil film star vijay,just that shashi was a little bit more taller than him. Best of all he looked very friendly and approachable.I started walking towards him and by this time he had identified me.“Mr.Shashi??”, I enquired with a quizzical look and offered my hand for a shake.His handshake was firm and sincere,I liked it.We sat on the cement structure bordering the beach.We briefly discussed about our backgrounds and I learnt that he was a highly successful software professional and has visited a quite a few places around the world.Though a man with a few words, he was able to articulate his ideas in a crisp and no-nonsense manner. I got friendly with him very soon. We talked briefly about Divya and I expressed my apprehension about me accompanying her to this meeting.“Chi chi, no probs,I wouldn’t mind that”, I felt he really meant what he was saying.

As we were speaking I noticed a gorgeous girl smiling at me. Attempting to lighten up the atmosphere I remarked “ You know I get into crazy imaginations quite often, even now I imagined as if that girl in red salwar was smiling at me!! He he”By this time the girl was very close to us and started waving at us.Shashi waved at the girl and said “ You are late Rakshitha”.The girl said ,“Iam sorry, I didn’t get any bus”.“CVR please meet my close friend Rakshitha.I originally thought she would serve as company to the person accompanying Divya’s whom I assumed would be a girl.”

“Hi….. Rakshandha!! I mean Rakshitha… Glad to meet you”,I muttered.

Where is the tsunami when you badly need one!!??My life is a movie full of bloopers.

Meanwhile I could spot Divya parking her scooty pep.She seemed to have spotted us and started waving towards us.

“Sorry ppl,Iam late.Got stuck in traffic”,Divya said.“Its Ok Divya,with your friend around I never realized I was waiting”,Shashi replied.

I couldn’t quite decide whether he was joking or whether he was serious.“By the way, this is Rakshitha”, He introduced her to divya.Divya greeted her with a smile and threw a cold stare at me unnoticed by others!!It meant “You refused to come with me , now what do you say”??I looked away.

“think we will leave you guys alone for while , what say Rakshandha??”, I enquired.“The name is Rakshitha “,she smiled.

“Oh sorry, you have had roasted corn in this beach?? Its my personal favourite!!”So saying we started walking towards the sea.

Rakshita seemed to be a girl with very few words or she didn’t like talking to me. The latter seemed to have a higher probability!!!

“So Rakshandha … I mean Rakshitha,where are you from ??Your name sounds a little different.”“Pune”,there was regret in her voice!I realized that she is missing her home. S***!! That was a wrong question“Hey!!! I have got friends from Pune,there were in my previous project”, I tried to cheer her up.“Really?”,she looked very unimpressed.

Today is definitely not my day! I never figured out why great looking girls always wanted to avoid me!! JI looked at the horizon for a few seconds. I wanted to tell her about my theory about the horizon and how it matches with life and death. I looked at her once and dumped that idea .I looked back towards Divya and Shashi . They looked like a perfect match.My God please make this happen. I decided its time to go back.“Can we go back”,I asked.“Yes”I realized she had been answering me only in single words!!

Shashi noticed us coming from a fair distance.They got up and looked as if they were getting ready to leave.

“So guys,leaving somewhere??”, I enquired.Shashi smiled at me and said “ Ok CVR,time to go!!!”

Meanwhile the girls exchanged pleasantries and Divya offered to drop Rakshitha near her place which was gratefully taken.“Ok,see you guys”,Divya left along with Rakshitha.

“So Shashi ,what do you think??”, I was eager to know.“Lets just say that when I get back home, I am gonna ask my parents to get on with the marriage arrangements.He was blushing and trying to cover it off with a smile.I never thought he was capable of blushing an hour back!!!“Hey hey !!! look at your face!!!,congrats man!! This is a great news”, I tried to tease him.He quickly composed himself and said”Ok CVR time to go,you need a lift??”“No its ok , I have a bike”“Ok chal,bye then”. He left.

I was sitting there for a while watching the waves.I was very very happy.

That was until Divya called me later that night!!

To be continued……….

Syntax without logic – part IV

“Are you crazy ?? I mean … what the hell is wrong with you???”. I realized I was genuinely angry in my life after a long time.

I was in Divya’s place on the terrace. Divya had called me up and had said she is gonna say no to that guy.“You wont understand CVR. I mean , ..he is a lot different from what I had fantasized about my future husband. He never looked like he was interested in me all through the meeting.”I wanted to tell her about the way he blushed after she was gone but waited her to finish.

“I always wanted to have a guy as a husband who would go crazy about me. He should roam around me all the time and should want to be with me all the time. I want him to give me roses every other day and shamelessly propose to me again and again. He should not be angry with me at all and should treat me like a princess. He should be jealous of other guys when I talk to them. He should fight for me like a hero when someone teases me in cinema theatre. He should be ready to do anything I ask for.”“I need candle lit dinners in Paris. I need romantic vacations in Switzerland. I need Gondola rides in Venice. I want him to carry me in his arms. I want him to shower flowers on me. I want him to make a carpet of roses when I complain that the marble flooring is hard on my foot.”

“Agreed …all these are fantasies. Agreed these are exaggerations and I don’t expect any guy to do all of these. But this guy was unbelievable. I thought this guy was interviewing me for a job ,for a while. He even asked me about future goals and all that!!!! I don’t think this guy will suit me CVR“, She finished as tried to catch her breath.

I was listenening to her patiently.“Divya , lemme tell you that I fully appreciate your fantasies and I myself have fantasies of my own .But reality is far from fantasies. Casanova might have been a great lover but I doubt whether he would make a better husband. Romantic dialogues wont pay the bills!!you see.That will be like a code with beautiful syntax but no logic.”

“Don’t be fooled by what you see in movies .Art romanticises life.To be more appropriate I should say ,Art romanticises people. Guys can get crazy over any girl during the beginning of a courtship. They can die for that girl and can even take on the world without thinking for a second ,during that period. But over a period of time his love becomes more settled and practical .That does not make it any less sincere, mind you. Its just that it less theatrical and less volatile. He will still take on the world for the woman he loves but this time it will be calm and pragmatic than just mindless show off. I can see the same kind of maturity in Shashi. ““He is no Shelley or Keats but lemme tell you he is in his twenties. And any twenty year old can be romantic .May be he will change once he starts getting your love. May be its your love which is gonna open him up. A girl can drive any guy crazy if she makes him believe that she is in love with him and cares for his family.Shashi might not fill any of your fantasies but he will get up to feed the baby in the middle of the night when you are too tired to get up. He would understand your work pressures and wouldn’t question you much when you come back late from office. He would cook and make coffee for you on the days you would want some extra help.He has been to onsite so he would knows a thing or two about cooking.He would help you in cleaning the house on weekends with very little nagging. He wouldn’t argue much about who gets to help the kids with their homework and would drop them to their coaching classes.”

I wanted to tell her zillion other reaons,but I believed she had got the point.Divya was staring at the distant stars. She was thinking.“Iam sorry Divya.Its your life and its entirely your choice but being your close friend I think its my duty to tell you all this. Shashi might not be the perfect lover you would want but he would make a very very decent husband.Think hard before you take any decision.I will stand behind any decision you make.”So saying I left.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

It was the most enjoyable wedding I had ever attended. I had to run around for hundred thousand things. But in the end when I saw Divya seated as a bride with Shashi,I realized I could do a hundred thousand more things for seeing this.Did I forget to mention you that Shashi had become more “romantic” as the days to the wedding grew close. They had candlelit dinner in one of the city’s top restaurants where he gave her a rose bouquet and said “Divya,Will you marry me???”..Needless to say they celebrated their honeymoon in Switzerland.I saw Rakshitha during the wedding. She did everything humanly possible to avoid meand even acted as if she was paralysed when I happened to walk past her once!! JI enjoyed it!!I later learnt from Divya that she never liked me right from day one, for some reason which she couldn’t explain .If only I could understand these “some reasons”!! JBy the way I always remembered her name was Rakshitha and not Rakshandha!!! J .I later learnt that she got transferred to Pune. That was the last time I heard about her. LJ

Years have rolled by and me and Divya are in different companies now. Shashi and myself are even more closer friends than myself and Divya. I liked it that way.

The End

PS : This is a work of fiction presented as an anecdote!! J

Thursday, June 02, 2005

I was mesmerized as he walked towards me !! His hair was getting rearranged every single second . It was a perfect analogy to fire . Changing shape but the same pattern . More like a seashore . Every wave looks different but every wave looks the same . There was sparkle in his eyes , and his smile , my God , I can happily die now. Just then there was a small stone in his path and!!! …What happened!! ….

What the ….I was split in two worlds for a microsecond before getting back to my senses. There is always a phase when you are confused which one is your world . The dream or the reality. I loved that. I had thought may be the dream world is the real world and our real world is …. I could never think beyond that.Suddenly the meanings of all those info hit me!! Particularly 1 single point!!!!!!Have to meet Sanjeev’s Mom

Yikes!!!!With one single action I got out of my bed.“Girls ,iam gonna meet sanjeev’s mother today please help me with access to bathroom.”

The “so called” girls were too sleepy to hear my words. It was more like FYI. Modern girls never get up early during holidays. On weekdays they get up relatively early coz they have to go to office!!!!!!!!!

I quickly got into my daily routine. All the while I can only think of one thing.“Got to impress Sanjeev’s Mom”, “Somehow!!”

I could never decide what kinda girl she would like ? Traditional, homely, talkative, meek, modern ?? I was pulling my hair out!!!!!Life is the toughest for a working woman .You have to know everything , You have to do everything , You have to Be everything!!!!But I can gladly take this burden for Sanjeev.Ah!! Sanjeev . The very thought added a high dose of endorphin* into my blood. No wonder those who have a good love life live longer.I was out of the bathroom and was paralyzed by an question of Universal proportion.

“WHAT WILL I WEAR”?????????????????

“Hey girls , what can I wear????”

“hmmmmm that sleeveless pink chudi I gave na , put that one!!!”Rambled saranya who was still half asleep.

“Ignore her chitra, she is still asleep, Wear that red saree with matching blouse!!! Also don’t forget that huge bindi” , “You will look just like goddess kali” , remarked vanitha.

she was grinning widely . I wanted to break all the teeth from her misshaped mouth . sadly I didn’t have time.Again the same dilemma. Would I look too cultured ,too carefree , too bold??? Have to wear the right saree!! Also which colour to choose?? I knew God should have made women as colour blind!! That would save thousands of hours of confusion in her life.

I looked myself in the mirror!! Something was missing!!! LOk!!! I know !!!!! I put a thin streak of viboodhi** on top of my kum kum!!! Sanjeev has told me so many times that he is just crazy over this get up!!!I smiled . Nobody could say No to the face in the mirror.

“Ok ppl,Iam leaving”“All the best Chitra!! Waiting for the treat” they chorused in unisonI closed my eyes in a silent prayer for a min . Then I stepped out.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

I looked at the clock on the table .It was 4.30am. Time to get up. I took the thaali** in my hands and respectfully pressed it onto my closed eyes,like I always do every single morning!!Just then I remembered.

My God,Have to meet that girl my son sanjeev was talking about!!!!!

To be continued

*endorphin -a hormone that makes you happy – (roughly)http://www.healingsprings.com/ENDORPHINS.htm** viboodhi – holy ash also known as thiruneeru** thaali - sacred thread worn by married women in India also referred to as mangal sootra.

In - Law Issues - part II**********************

I started preparing the morning coffee!! There is a constant pain in my knee nowadays. As a result I am not as fast as I used to be. In this same kitchen I used to work like Zahir hussain’s* fingers on a tabla . Preparing Sanjeev for school is the hardest chore in the world. He used to run all over the place. Cant believe he has grown up so fast. And now he says he is in love with a girl and asking me to meet her!!!! Dunno whats wrong with him nowadays. He used to be a nice boy. Its all because of these cheap movies and sick programs in TV. They confuse today’s youngsters and spoil them so much.

I walked to his room with coffee in my hands!!! There he is, sleeping like a baby. There was a mild smile on his face. My only wish to God is to make him smile the same way all his life!! I want to care and protect him all my life. But there are times when he makes me so angry. Dunno why he is acting so crazily at times. Why does he want to love a girl who is from some other sub caste?? I am OK with anything if it keeps him happy, but how will I face all my relatives???

Especially my uncle’s second nephew’s third sister Shantha!!!! She will have a field day!! As such she is so jealous of us and never misses a chance to put us down during family functions. What will our neighbours think??? I cant understand how these kids get into commitments without thinking about all these things!!!These kids have no exposure , that’s the problem. Also how can I be sure she is the perfect girl??? I wouldn’t want to risk my baby’s life into some stranger just because he likes her!!There are times when I have to strict, all for his own good. Like the time, i had to punish him for teaching discipline during school days.Just then I felt a lazy movement!! Sanjeev was awake. He usually wakes up early in the morning!!!“Good Morning ma” , he wished cheerfully. “ Ready to meet your future daughter-in –law”????The smile flied of my face. “ Drink your coffee first”. I placed the coffee on the table.“Will she get up early as I do and give you your cup of coffee at the right time!!???”. I wanted to make him understand he is doing a mistake.

“Don’t worry ma!!! She wont be able to do all the things you do,but she will definitely do all the stuff she can do ,to make me happy”. He winked at me.These kids always beat you with fancy lines. I didn’t know how to respond.

“I seriously don’t know whether I will like that girl-da.I am just coming because you want me to”,I said“No problems –ma, just meet her once.If you don’t feel right then I wont press you!! But please don’t press me to marry any other girl, that wouldn’t happen”.He smiled but my heart went up in flames!!

“Did I raise you all these years for this, its better if I didn’t have any son instead of this”,I replied angrily!!!I know I have over reacted but its very tough to control my emotions when he talks like this!!!!

“Just chill ma,you will definitely like her . why do you worry yourself with unwanted stuff??”So saying he got off the bed.

Soon it was time for us to go. I have to admit in spite of all my reservations I was very eager to meet the girl. After all she has managed to make my son go crazy about her. I would definitely want to meet that girl for the reason.

We are leaving!!! I told my husband. He nodded without taking his eyes off the newspaper. He acted as if he is very much against this but I know he would relent if I persuade him . May be that’s the reason sanjeeev didnt seem to worry much about his strong disapproval. I always knew Sanjeev was smart .

………………………………………………………………………………………………I got of the bus and started walking. The location was Sanjeev’s idea . A quiet temple in ECR with adjoining beach.I am not sure whether I have arrived at the right time . I didn’t want to be too early lest I be considered cheap also I didnt want to be late lest I be considered insincere!!!!

Just then I saw a car entering the street. It was Sanjeev’s car!!

* a very famous tabla artist.

In - Law Issues - part III***********************

The car banked to the left.“hi chithra,hop in” , sanjeev exclaimed .He looked very fresh and upbeat. Its easier if you don’t have to travel in this hot sun in local bus. I thought as I smiled.

My eyes were already analyzing sanjeev’s mom. She looked very soft and respectable. No wonder sanjeev can’t stop talking abt his mom. Meanwhile she started smiling at me and beckoned me into the car.My first impression was “ I can do business with this lady”. I grew confident.

I said ,“Hi sanjeev,hello aunty”ooops!!!!!How can I make this mistake,I should have called her amma,just like sanjeev does!!!!

There was a mild disappointment in sanjeev’s face.“You must have woken up fairly early for us”, Aunty remarked with a smile.“Yeah that’s right usually I don’t get up before 8 during weekends”, I was glad she is so understanding.There was a slight chuckle from aunty and sanjeev’s right arm was on his forehead for a while.I realized it was gauging question and I lost. LStrike two. I decided to be very careful from now onwards.

We entered the temple and completed our darshan of the deity. No prizes for guessing what I was praying.“Ok ladies, think I will leave you alone for a while”,said sanjeev with a smile.so saying he started walking towards the gate.“He is going out to smoke, God knows who will bring him back to his senses”.There was genuine concern in aunty’s voice.I also noticed that she stopped abruptly realizing that she has been opening up a controversial topic. Guess iam not the only one goofing up today!! J“so tell me chithra , whats your native ?? tell me abt your dad and mom”I knew she is just trying to build up rapport. Sometimes ppl do that when they prepare to talk tough. I got ready!!After some insignificant intro ,she got directly to the point. I liked that.“Look chithra,you seem like a really nice girl. So I will try to tell you this in a real nice way. The practices dictated by our ancestors were decided based on deep thinking and profound insight.You guys don’t have enough exposure, you take decisions without any deep thinking. Why don’t you leave the elders to decide what is right and what is wrong for you?? The reason marriage was fixed within a predetermined circle is because that takes care of so many compatibility issues.What will you do when our food habits differ??what will you do when you wont have any clue as to what to do during our festivals?? Will you be able to adjust to our customs and pratices?? what will you do when your child gets admitted in school?? Whose caste will you put in the certificate?? Imagine the pain your parents have gone through to raise you to these levels .What are you gonna pay them back with?? Humiliation in front of their relatives. Have you thought about any of these things?? For you ppl life is like a cinema,you think everything is so easy.Well guess what?? Its more tougher than what you can imagine. You look like a nice girl. you will definitely get a nice guy and iam sure your parents are quite capable of choosing you one. So please forget my dear sanjeev. I assure you that he wont trouble you if you tell him that you don’t want to be disturbed”I gave her a couple of seconds to get her breath back.“Aunty, let me tell you that I really found you so familiar and friendly as soon as I saw you and I really appreciate your straight forward views. Trust me when i say that myself and Sanjeev value and respect our tradition very much. We believe all these pratices and guidelines are set to make our life better and the best way to thank our ancestors is to live a complete and enriching life even if it means bending a few of their words which fall out of our times.We guys are not kids anymore. You should be angry when an eighth standard boy comes home one fine day and says “Mom there is this girl who is kinda cute, all my friends say we will make a perfect match, so I think iam in love with her”. You should be worried when a college kid returns home and says “mom I saw a girl yesterday in the college balcony, I will kill myself if I don’t get her”“But when two intelligent adults happen to fall to love and decide to share their life and when your son comes home and says Mom I am sure this girl will make a perfect wife and I want to live with her ,then You should be happy.I know there are a lots of incompatibilities and myself and sanjeev both have discussed about all of them and reached a common ground on most of them. When two individuals from two different backgrounds decide to share their life incompatibilities are natural. But iam sure that we have enough love to get over it.What do you care most about?? Your son’s day to day life?? Or some distant relative passing unfair comments on rare occasions,who is gonna pass some comment or the other anyway!!!! The ones who really matter don’t mind and the ones who mind don’t matter. I am sure the real relatives shall understand our love if you can explain them that this is our children’s choice and I respect themSanjeev considers you ppl equal to God perhaps even more than that and we would never imagine doing anything that will bring you disgrace .We want to give you happiness. We want to see the joy on your faces while you cuddle with your grandchildren. We want to you to gleam with pride as you admire your son and wife face challenges after another with trust and love. We want you to live a peaceful life by seeing us leading our life happily.Iam sure you can find the best gal for sanjeev and my parents can get some other guy for me. But can you get anyone who could love us as much as we love each other ??? Coming to think of it, what is the mistake we have done??? We just want to share our lives based on mutual affection and admiration. Is this a crime?? Sure there will be problems like there will be in any marriage but we are confident that we can face all of them with your guidance. We shall marry with full blessings and wishes from you or will stay unmarried in respect of you disapproval.The choice is yours to make. “

There was pin drop silence, except for a mild and soothing sound of the waves. There were waves in aunty’s mind as well. I had a feeling that perhaps I have spoken too much. I can see that aunty was thinking very deeply.I can see that she was arriving at a decision.

……………………………………………………………………………………………“That was the last puff”,I thought . I was getting very impatient. Time to check out the ladies.I headed towards the entrance.

To be continued……

In - Law Issues - part IV**********************

My mind was torn with thousand thoughts. Thoughts of how perfect my life would be with Chthra. Thoughts of how glad I will be if chithra manages to convince my mom. Thoughts of next steps.Thoughts of what will I do if my mom disagrees!!!!!!I suddenly lost the motivation to think.

As I took the corner I could see chithra and my mom sitting closer than they sat when I left. I could see that chithra’s face didn’t bear a happy expression and also it looked as if she was meekly listening to my mom. Oh my God!! What has happened.I started walking faster in order to get closer and over hear their conversation.

“No ma, he never buys me any gifts at all”,Chithra was complaining!!!!

Amma!?!??? Gifts?!!!??What the hell is going on here???

Just then they heard me coming and looked at my direction.For a moment chithra winked at me with a smile and immediately turned her face back that sorry, sad mood again!!!You naughty girl!!!!!!!! I looked up to the heavens and sincerely prayed for a girl child just like chithra!!

“Is this the way you treat my daughter – In – law??? Heard that you are not even taking her out regularly”,My Mom enquired angrily.I didn’t reply. I didn’t want my voice to disturb this perfect moment. I sat beside them smiling.“So whats the next step?? When are gonna bring this smart girl into our house??”,My mom questioned.

“Hmm , lets see. First you have to convince dad, which I think shall be handled by you quite well.” ,I grinned widely.”Then I go to Chithra’s home town to meet her parents and convince them. Then they get in touch with you ppl . Then the only thing left will be dum dum dum *.”

“I don’t think there will be too much of a problem from my side!! There has been a few love marriages in our close relatives circles.”,chithra replied.

“Either way iam sure my daughter is intelligent enough to handle any situation”,My mom remarked.I didn’t want to tell her about our preparations and rehearsals for this meeting!!

“yeah sure, I realized that long back.So chithra when do you get up during weekends???”,I enquired.All of us burst into laughter.

Chithra was looking so beautiful when she was laughing.I decided to wait for the wedding!!!