Mercy Incognito

concept: willy wonka and harry potter take place in the same universethe ministry of magic haaaates Willy Wonka

“Mr. Wonka,” Dumbledore smiled warmly, looking down into the Pit from his podium. The members of the Wizengamot muttered disapprovingly, shifting in their seats. Willy Wonka, clad today in a bright magenta suit and tophat, beamed cheekily up at them from his chair, his silver-gloved hands cradling his chin.

“Mr. Dumbledore,” He replied brightly, with the barest hint of a lisp.

“I trust you know why you are here?” Dumbledores question was crisp and businesslike, but the twinkle in his eye gave away his amusement at the situation.

“You are accused of improper use of magic, improper use of muggle artifacts, and several counts of using magic in front of a muggle,” Dumbledore reminded him. He conjured a projection with his wand. Displayed in grainy sepia was Willy Wonka, arm around a boy of around 10. Behind his back, he twitched an ash wand, and machines in the background around them whirred to life, producing all manner of sweets.

The projection ran its course and collapsed, and Dumbledore stowed his wand back inside his robes.

Wonka smiled and fiddled with his hat.

“How do you plead?” Dumbledore asked, leaning forward eagerly for what would surely be an amusing trial.

“Not guilty on all counts,” Wonka said, perhaps a tad smugly.

The members of the Wizengamot muttered amongst themselves. Not Guilty? Impossible!

Dumbledore hushed them quickly. “Explain, if you would. We have, after all, quite a mountain of evidence.”

Wonka stood and brushed a bit of dust off his suit. He tipped his hat mischievously. “Of course,” he grinned.

“Firstly, use of magic shall only be considered improper whereby it is applied to cause harm or applied recklessly. All magic used in my sweets is rigorously tested for both safety and taste. It is not used to cause harm, but to bring joy.” Wonka paused to adjust his jacket.

“Ah, but I can,” Wonka said, now twirling his cap in his hands. “Muggle artifact refers, of course, to any muggle made object. But, you see, I built those machines, each and every one. They are not muggle machines at all, but wizarding machines, built by a wizard. The factory itself, as well. You could argue that, as machines are a muggle invention, I still broke the rules, but then I could argue that every wizard dwelling with any charms applied to its walls is in violation of the law, as muggles were the first to make bricks.”

The Wizengamot glared silently. He was right, of course. Violating the spirit of the law was not illegal if one followed the letter.

“And the last charge? These are definitely Muggle children, are they not? No magical talent, raised in muggle society?” Dumbledore straightened his glasses and peered down at Wonka, his eyes still bright with intrigue.

“Not at all,” Wonka grinned, placing his hat back on his head. “You see, the ticket system was not nearly so random as I pretended. The tickets were charmed, they would only becomes visible to children with magical heritage. All the children chosen were second generation Squibs.” Wonka bowed low, as if he were finishing a particularly well executed play.

“Well, ladies and gentlemen, it seems no laws were violated after all.” Dumbledore stifled a grin at the groans of angry disapproval from the Wizengamot.

“But he very clearly violated the intent of the rules!” Spluttered a large, rather red faced wizard in the second row. “He’s just…cheating! He’s cheating!”

“Ah, this is true, but he did not, technically speaking, break any of the rules. He did not expose muggles to magic, nor enchant muggle made objects, nor improperly apply magic anymore so than any magical confectioner. I’m afraid we have to let him go.” Dumbledore smiled gently and put away the rather thick file with Wonka’s name embossed on the cover. For the brief second it was open, a list of hundreds of charges with “Not Guilty” inked beside them was visible. It was carried off by a house elf, and the Wizengamot began to file out until only Dumbledore was left.

“You’re a very clever man,” He called down to Wonka. “We could use you at Hogwarts, you know.”

“No thank you,” Wonka called back, grinning. “Skirting the law is far more fun!”

Peach: (My personal favorite) Use this color in beauty and confidence spells, or anything requiring some bravery and/or emotional strength.

Purples/Violet/You get the Idea: Love, astral realm, psychic abilities, intelligence. Ladies- if you are like me and deal with men who frequently claim you are less intelligent because you are a woman, enchant a purple color.

Reddish-Brown: deceit. Idk how or why you would use this but its a common color so.

I’m an adult and I still LOVE stuffed animals. While I can usually resist a little better now than when I was a child, I’m still tempted to buy one every time there’s an opportunity. Here’s some examples of how to use your inanimate furry friends in the craft:

🦁Sew a dream pouch inside of a teddy bear to encourage prophetic dreams! You could also tweak this to make it help with astral travel.

🐯Enchant it with all sorts of protection spells, set it in the corner of your room as a guardian to ward off malevolent spirits.

🐻Stuff with lavender and other calming herbs, hold it and smell it to calm and cleanse yourself.

🦁Make it a spirit vessel, and allow spirits to visit you inside the animal. (This can also allow you to cuddle with your spirit companions.)

🐯Use it as a poppet! Especially for cursing. Get a stuffed animal you don’t care about and treat it as you would any clay poppet (except now, you can stuff it with things too instead of just surrounding it.) You also have the added advantage of being able to smack it against the wall without causing serious damage.

🐻Draw a sigil on the stuffed animal. Perhaps one for creativity, and you play with the stuffed animal a little to get the creative juices flowing!

🦁Place a stuffed version of an animal associated with a deity in your altar. Hecate likes dogs, for example. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind that being there.

🐯 Enchant stuffed animals with good fortunes before donating them to children’s hospitals or nonprofits

🐻 Make a spell out of the act of making one yourself, sewing intent into every stitch.

🦁Use them in any spell to represent childhood, innocence, comfort, sleep, imagination, and simple pleasures.