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Tuesday, December 14, 2010

I Am Not Awesome

Tina Lynn asked: Hmmm...how are you so amazing? Come on, confess. Launched here in an escape pod by your parents during a nuclear apocalypse? Bitten by a radioactive spider? Given a ring that gives you the power to create anything you can imagine? It's only fair that you tell us mere humans so we can stop beating ourselves up for being less than...you know?
Quinn also asked me this question, he just didn't know it. (Check out his post here.)

Okay, so it's totally fine with me if you want to label me with the Awesome Stamp.

I'm just not going to label myself with it. And here's why:

I want to live every day better than the last. I want to keep improving myself and my writing. The second I allow myself to think I'm awesome, I know that I'll slip.

I won't try. I won't work as hard. I won't improve.

And so while I'm glad you think I'm awesome, and I try to accept the compliment graciously, I do not want to think that about myself.

I don't want to think "all is well."

I want to be better today than I was yesterday. In all areas of my life, not just writing.

What about you? What do you tell yourself--or don't tell yourself--to keep moving forward?

And it was Edward, for the official record and all that. He used to watch me sleep in my bedroom. Now we stay up all night, him watching (forEVER watching) and me blogging and writing and tweeting and baking delicious blood brownies.

I'm really grateful for the good things I have in life. And I know that if and when I'm meant to get an agent and publisher I will. Sometimes I've found life's looking out for me and things aren't always meant to be when I want them to be.

Considering i am never satisfied I understand how u feel, I used to think getting a book contract would be cool but then i changed it to multiple contracts and then I changed it to being interviewed on the colbert report and now maybe having movies made out of my books.Hi my name is Joanna I am not easily satisfied and that is okay - its called learning and ambition

There's this story I teach each term the first day--"Cut"-- by sportswriter Bob Greene, with a narrative by newscaster Dan Rather. It shows how our shortcomings make us better, stronger. If you used just the Greene part, your fifth grade boys might really love it.

Oh me? I'm totally awesome ;) Jk really, I just want everyday to do just a tiny bit better than the day before. To look back a year from now and see how far I've come. And to be able to remain positive through this process. That's all any of us can strive for within reason I do believe. It's attainable, and for you realizing this, I honestly think you're awesomesauce! <3

Well, you are awesome. At risk of sounding cheesy, every time you affect other people you are moving forward. Though you may not know it. Words of truth, inspiration, hope, and just forming connections. I like to think everytime I step closer to that, then I am a bit closer to being a better person. Keep up your awesome-ness. Great post!

What keep me going is to strive for what I had before. Having great success in another field early in life took me to places I wish to visit again. I'd like to do that know with writing. Only time will tell.

In the meantime the journey there is filled with unexpected surprises and meeting other talented and gracious people. That inspires more than anything else ... people.

I love what you said about needing to improve. I know for me it's trying to find a balance between thinking things are great (and thus I don't work) and thinking I'm hopeless (which is pretty debilitating). Thanks for the thoughts. :)

Great outlook! Maybe you could allow yourself to feel that you're one person striving for excellence, with moments of sheer brillance and awesomeness sprinkled throughout. :) I think that sounds pretty cool actually.Lisa ~ YA Literature Lover

I enjoyed your answer to this. I totally get what you're saying and glad you elaborated on the comment you left on my post.

As for me, I don't tell myself I'm awesome. I know that I have room to grow and improve. I don't think I would stop trying if I did think I was awesome though -- I'd be trying to keep it up and/or top myself. As far as moving forward and getting better, I just -- that's a hard question to answer -- I guess, I just keep the goal in sight. For writing, that's having others enjoy it (that's what makes me revise and work hard). For teaching, that's getting my students speaking English and passing the TOEFL test. For my dog, it's having a dog that's trained and will listen. So, it's just keeping what I want in sight and letting that keep me moving forward.

The thing about people though is that once we get the thing that we want, we start wanting something else. So, there'll always be something to keep moving towards.

So I'm completely the opposite. I have to tell myself that I am awesome every single day. Otherwise, I don't think I'm good enough to be doing the things I'm doing. I just repeat Stuart Smalleys mantra in the mirror every morning..."I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And doggone it, people like me." :-D HahahaOkay so not really. But I do have to remind myself that the things I do are amazing and that I have to keep doing them. I try to be a little better every day as well.

This is why you're awesome! And you can totally be awesome without letting yourself slip, as it were. I look at it as a reminder to NOT slip because once you're awesome, you want to STAY awesome, right? ;)

I used to be one of those people who hated accepting my own faults or shortcomings. But now that I've grown as a person, and a writer, I've realized that I'm not supposed to be perfect or amazing or otherworldly. I'm just supposed to be me, that's all. I can improve or not. It's all up to me. I choose to be better, to expect more from myself and that's all I can do. Well that and have pie on Saturdays.

You sound very grounded, that is so humble of you. It is definitely a good attitude to have to progress to the very top. When I was little I was really scrawny and shy and no one in their right mind would have thought I'd be British champion in TKD twice. It really helped to win that the cocky opponents were surrounded by guys egging them on telling them how great they were. My supporters were too busy in their own fights, so no one watched half the time. When I couldn't ignore my status any more I began to lose. Some of the nervous energy evaporated because I was expected to win. Expect to fight and ignore everything else and the job is done. If you love the act of fighting/writing then the rest is not important anyway.

A balance is good. I tell myself I am awsome-is (or closer to awsome than I was yesterday at least) so I don't give up in despate but remind myself how far I have to go before I reach the true point of awsome where I don't have to work so hard anymore.

I constantly crave more information about the world, personal views/opinions and myself. I learn something new every day. I adore people and their stories. That's the thing that keeps me going. I remain a sponge and there is an infinite amount of wisdome and humor out there for me to soak in.

Every writer is awesome, for having the perseverance and sproing to keep bouncing back from rejections, to keep writing, and to keep trying to improve. Based on that, you're awesome. ;o)

I strive for awesomeness though, bigger and better awesomeness. My sis-in-law called last night and gushed about reading one of my novels, saying we NEED TO MAKE A MOVIE OF IT. Ha. That is so cool, and makes writing worthwhile, when a reader enjoys it. Still...I keep trying to get better! I have high standards I guess. Writers almost have to.

'I want to be better today than I was yesterday. In all areas of my life, not just writing.' I like that advice. I am asking, particularly in the last week, what refinements I need to make in my writing activities, both online and off. Positive and encouraging post.

Awesome! I like the idea of not becoming complacent. There's always something new to learn. There's always a new approach. Otherwise it would be all boring and dull - who doesn't want to grow some more??? :)

Elana, so true! I think it's key to keep a focus on the task at hand rather than worry whether you're awesome. That feeling at the end is what's awesome. And maybe, just maybe, you had an awesome time along the way. I certainly have.

Hmm... well. First off I will still tell you that you are awesome (cause you are). As for me. Right now the goal is breathing in and out everyday. Beyond that, once I find my balance again, I really think it is important to connect in a postive way with others...so that is what I am trying to do. In as many ways as possible.

I think that it is important to keep perspective in all that I do especially on how well or not well Im doing. I agree that it is important to always know that improvement is necessary but it is also good to get the positive feedback and know that we have progressed. Hmmmm I guess I'm talking about goals and I hate goals. I think I need to rethink this. lol

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