A Writer's Outlook on the Craft of Writing, Getting Published, and the Big One... Life.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Josh Trapani's Query Revision and Critique

Recently, I posted Josh Trapani's critiqued query letter. He has since revised it and I've critiqued it again. Here are both versions, so you can see the difference between them. I'll post the old version first.

Below is my detailed critique. Please select FULL SCREEN to view, then once the document is open RIGHT CLICK to ZOOM and view the comments.Josh Trapani's Query 1

Thanks again for volunteering, Josh. Next week, I'll post a critique of the first 500 words of a writer's story. Who's story? You'll have to come back and find out. ;)

What did you think of Josh's revisions? Any suggestions on how he can further improve his query?

Thanks to all who've volunteered to share their work on my blog. I'm a professional editor. If anyone is interested in having their query, synopsis, and/or manuscript edited, I can help. I'm also a writing coach, so I can teach you how to edit your own manuscript. Plus, I offer one-on-one courses on the craft of writing and will soon teach online group courses. The first course Hook, Line, and Sinker is coming soon. Contact me for more information or visit my site.

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About Me

Lynnette Labelle is a freelance editor with over fifteen years of experience. She’s the owner of Labelle’s Writing on the Wall, an editing and coaching service for writers. Her clients range from new writers to New York Times and USA Today best-selling authors like Roni Loren, Rebecca Hamilton, and Cristin Harber. Lynnette works with writers seeking traditional publishing and indie authors. She specializes in developmental and line editing combos as well as manuscript evaluations. She helps writers create hooky query letters and strong synopses, and teaches several writing classes.
If you're looking for a freelance editor, check out her website: www.labelleseditorialservices.com