I have a higher-toned voice that has been mistaken for that of a woman.

Just last Saturday Kelly and I were at the Sam's Club in Oakley looking for a mantle for our fireplace. As we were walking down an aisle I saw this long haired lady struggling to get something into her cart. As I walked up to her, trying to be helpful I asked, "Can I help you, ma'am?" It was then that "she" turned around and I saw it was a man. I swear it looked like a woman from behind. Embarrassed, I sorta said sorry and told Kelly that was time to leave.

It's always difficult when you mistake someone for the opposite sex. You don't know how to make up for it. Even worse is when you are the one being mistaken for.

I don't have a deep voice. I sing tenor and, in my falsetto voice, can hit notes higher than some women. Occasionally, about once every couple of months, I have an experience that reminds me that I'm no Barry White. I'll go through a drive-thru to pick up some food, firmly place my order and then have the voice in the box tell me:

"That'll be $9.86 at the first window ma'am."

Ma'am? I should reach through that box and beat the crap out of you.

That's why now, when I order a Quarter-Pounder, I tend to put some bass in my voice. I think it helps if I talk more manly. But regardless of my voice, it still doesn't matter at Frisch's. It's impossible to remain masculine while ordering a "Big Boy" or a "Brawny Lad."

Make fun of me if you like, but at least I don't have to listen to my own voice.