Archive for the Petra Nemcova Category

I like going to Starbucks and positioning my shitty lap top so everyone around me can see what I am doing on my computer. Then I look for some seriously fucked up porn clips, pull out a notebook and notes on the shit like I am Siskel and Ebert, before Siskel died.

I usually do it during the day when the only people in the place are old ladies, new mothers and ready to drop knocked up bitches bored on maternity leave. They are my audience, I figure those sluts know this shit better than most, but that’s just because they’re packin the proof with their old age and post-pregnancy weight.

I’ve been kicked out a few times for being inappropriate, but for the most part people just look the other way in disgust and don’t bother complaining. I don’t know why I get a kick out of it, I guess I just like being around people who are of a normal weight and this is the best way to make new friends without actually having to put myself out there and introduce myself. Reality is, that strategy doesn’t work out so well.

Speaking of not working out so well, here are some pictures of Petra Nemcova communing with regular people by taking a taxi like she couldn’t afford her own driver, but is easily impressed because she’s from communism and in communist Russia, getting a ride on your neighbor’s son’s back was considered luxury.

I like going to Starbucks and positioning my shitty lap top so everyone around me can see what I am doing on my computer. Then I look for some seriously fucked up porn clips, pull out a notebook and notes on the shit like I am Siskel and Ebert, before Siskel died.

I usually do it during the day when the only people in the place are old ladies, new mothers and ready to drop knocked up bitches bored on maternity leave. They are my audience, I figure those sluts know this shit better than most, but that’s just because they’re packin the proof with their old age and post-pregnancy weight.

I’ve been kicked out a few times for being inappropriate, but for the most part people just look the other way in disgust and don’t bother complaining. I don’t know why I get a kick out of it, I guess I just like being around people who are of a normal weight and this is the best way to make new friends without actually having to put myself out there and introduce myself. Reality is, that strategy doesn’t work out so well.

Speaking of not working out so well, here are some pictures of Petra Nemcova communing with regular people by taking a taxi like she couldn’t afford her own driver, but is easily impressed because she’s from communism and in communist Russia, getting a ride on your neighbor’s son’s back was considered luxury.

I saw these pictures last night but was too lazy to post them. I was all about doing it in the morning when I woke up, unfortunately the morning became 2 pm and then after folding laundry and doing dishes I finally get to them. The reason I am folding laundry and doing dishes isn’t because I am the bitch of the household. It’s not because I am neat. I do it out of necessity because shit fucking smells really fucking bad and I can stomach bad smells for a couple of weeks but when they turn really fucking bad I start to think my life is in danger, and despite being aware of my sucking at life, I still like to live it or drive it into the ground. Being poisoned by my wife’s panty stains isn’t really how I want to go. However, being poisoned by Petra Nemcova’s panties is a definite better option and I know that shit is deadly cuz that serial player to the stars Stavros got a piece.

Sometimes I wonder how many dudes some of these girls have bagged. I remember being 20 years old and meeting a 20 year old girl who had banged 30 dudes and I was kinda shocked and grossed out because she wasn’t a hooker and most girls I knew had only been with 10 or less because they were just starting out. She was the first regular girl and I got skeptical about cumming inside without a condom, but figured she’d know what to do if she got knocked up because she had experience in the situation, like hiring an ex cop to find out if your wife is cheating on you, not that I would do that, if my wife was cheating on me, I’d buy the dude a drink and thank him for taking her off my hands, figuratively of course, because if she was on my hands literally, I wouldn’t be able to type this shit because all my finger’s be broke.

Marie-Eve here, again. Apparently Jesus’ computer is on the fritz, so I’m gonna be doing the posts a tad early while hes getting ready for his Cruise. I’ve been getting some lovely emails from some of you and also some that are pretty creepy, but keep them coming, I love it!! stepdaughter@drunkenstepfather.com

Here’s some pics of Petra Nemcova and some other lucky, lucky person messing around with some body paint, which I guess is what super models do when they aren’t at fashion shoots on tropical islands, going to swanky parties, and having sex with millionaires.

They have this sort of outdoor festival where I live every Sunday, and its always filled with a bunch of old and young hippies, plus a few normal people that go up there just for the hell of it. You’ll always see a good amount of idiots playing the drums, blowing bubbles and dancing in circles and urging you to join in on the love fest. The last time I was up there, there was a bunch of them body painting each other, and of course one thing led to another and a few of the girls took their tops off to let some of the guys (who looked like the forest had just thrown them up) paint their tits.

As always, it wasn’t the hott looking pixie hippies that chose to undress, but the fat, unshaven, pasty white ones instead. Why does it always go down like like? Can some one explain it to me, please? Why is it that the most disgusting people are always the ones that are the most comfortable with themselves? Anyone?

Here’s some shots of Petra to ease the pain of people who don’t know how to cover up.

Here are some Petra Nemcova topless on the runway body painted pictures.

If I was an art student in college this would be my career goal. When all the pansy artist hippie motherfuckers with their potluck dinners, ratty thrift store clothes and bohemian trying hard to live the artist way cocksuckers would try to get all introspective and analytical on my airbrushed canvases of flames, a bikini, a t-shirt and every other thing I’ve seen airbrushed on a bitch, I’d just look at them, smile and say “art fag, i am going to be a body painter while your living in an artist loft smoking opium your rich art school friend bought with their daddy’s credit card, I’m going to be turning pussies into a pair of fucking boy shorts”….knowing that when that loser has dreams of being the next Picasso, I’ll have the best excuse to stare a hot chick’s naked without looking creepy. Fuck romantic idealistic bullshit when you’ve got smut that you can pretend isn’t smut by claiming it’s art…..

I don’t really know where I am going with this, but becoming an air brush body painter is a weird fucking life goal but I am glad someone’s doing it, because it motivates chicks to get naked and anything that motivates chicks to get naked motivates me to look at them get naked and remember – there’s nothing wrong with wearing pants that look like white trash beer drinking RV Camping beach towels.

Tsunami Survivor Petra Nemcova is one of those girls who is pretty decent for an eastern European chick. I know most Eastern European chicks you hear about are either models, or pornstars, or mail order brides you dream of because your rich friend’s divorced father has one and she looks like a total slut.

But reality is that these rationed toilet paper using communist slags aren’t all sexy big breasted olympic gymnast bikini models. There are a lot of them with beards, and bellies, and the ability to wrestle bears while chopping wood and giving birth all at the same time. These are the bitches named Olga or Vaclav but they don’t ever make it big here in North America, because we don’t acknowledge serious talent.

I forget where I was going with this post, but since it’s almost 4 and I’ll I’ve posted are the breast feeding pics, I’ll leave you with these pictures of her preventing an upskirt and busting out of her dress like a hot slut I’d love to take a bath with, unfortunately she’s banged Stavros, who has banged Lohan and Paris and you know what both of these bitches have festering in their panties (when they wear panties), and that’s something that I don’t really want sharing my bath water and I’d bath in a fucking puddles of piss and dirt on the corner of the street like my friend who was trying to wash off the smell of a hooker he fucked before going home to his overbearing wife one night this spring.

I could got the racist route and start making jokes about the dude in the turban because American’s assume that anyone with dark skin and a turban is a terrorist, but I am not going to do that, because I am a man of the people and as a man of the people, that mean’s I respect all types of crazy religions, even the Jews. This dude isn’t even an Arab, he’s Indian and people from India don’t suicide bomb, they just make a lot of fucking babies, like gold and lavish palaces and produce all the Bollywood movies you’ve never heard of, they even own the convenience store down the street from me and never give me fucking deals on cigars and also own the Indian restaurant that has an all you can eat Buffet that my wife can’t get enough of, literally…I hate when people do that, but we have been asked to never come back and if we do they are going to charge her for 2 people.

That said, this is Petra Nemcova at some Czech charity event for kids, obviously not dressed slutty enough for me or for the poor communist boys that are used to seeing the old haggard lady named Olga who serves them rationed porridge everyday and who are forced to jerk off to old contraband playboy magazines that were smuggled in the country in the 70s during the Cold War….but I guess she doesn’t really care about the kids, this is obviously more of a publicity stunt for her and her home country…

Yes…I know that the Czech Republic produces some of the dirtiest porn out there, I know eastern europeans aren’t circus performers who teach bears to balance on balls, or gypsy’s trying to read my fortune, or are too busy waiting in line for bread anymore but there isn’t much of a post without the communist jokes that sucked.

Either way, we can all learn a lesson from these people, it’s like fucking Sesame Street and the next time you see an ethnic person, and by ethnic I mean anyone who isn’t your kind, give them a fucking hug, or give them the Nemcova heart hand gesture. I am sure it will go over really well. Especially if you do it in the ghetto part of town…Cuddles…