A Room Of Our Own!

In my opinion, it’s not exactly constructive to point out to someone who has moved beyond a dangerous habit or addiction that she always had the choice never to indulge in that dangerous habit or addiction from the beginning. Surely, if a person has quit engaging in whatever unsavory behavior is in question, she is already aware that she could have disengaged sooner or never begun at all. I mean, people who aren’t aware that they have agency, the power to effect change in their lives – well, they don’t go on to change their lives for the better, do they?

So, when you’ve got a woman, a former addict, a formerly prostituted woman, a formerly heterosexually “liberated” woman, what have you, who decides to discuss her painful past, perhaps even describe some of the thought processes that AT THE TIME seemed to justify her behavior (obviously, she’s aware that these thought processes DON’T justify the behavior, which is why she’s now changed both her thought processes AND her behavior), what purpose could it possibly serve to point out to such a woman that she was wrong? What purpose could it possibly serve to stress that she CHOSE to put herself in harm’s way, that, in living the life she lived, she CHOSE to be an obstacle in the path of other women who wanted to live differently? I mean, we’re talking about a woman who made a conscious decision to change her life and even, just hypothetically, offer resources to encourage others who would like to follow suit and praise those who were on the right path all along. Surely, such a woman already knows that her former lifestyle was chosen, that it was harmful to her and to other women.

So, what danger is there in such a woman looking back with some modicum of pity, or sympathy, or even empathy on her former self? What danger is there if such a woman wants to look on her former self, not as a monster who consciously jeopardized the well-being of female people as a class, but as an injured and exploited woman that eventually grew into political consciousness? I’m not talking about a woman who makes justifications for her current anti-female behavior. I’m talking about a woman who took enough responsibility for her past actions to willfully change the course of her life, but who still looks back and in many ways identifies with women who are now where she used to be.

What’s the point of telling that woman what she already had to know in order to pull herself out of those destructive habits? I’m seriously asking, because I can’t think of anything other than either viciousness or untreated clinical-grade social ineptitude. And I say that as a woman who finds it extremely problematic to continue to identify with those who are currently acting out female-hating behaviors. That is to say that I don’t personally identify with the black-female-hating woman I used to be. I don’t see it as my purpose to ensure that women who are, right now, obliviously black-female-hating come to see the error of their ways. I don’t see it as my purpose to teach them to love themselves, or encourage them change their lives. You see, every minute I could spend on women who in all likelihood will never turn away from the benefits of a black-female-hating lifestyle is a minute that I’m not spending on those of us who already get it. And in a black-female-hating atmosphere, those of us who get it need more attention that those who still get some sustenance from the larger society. Plus, I know from my own experience that there’s nothing I could say or give to them that would change their minds anyway. They have to make the decision to change on their own.

But I still can’t see the point of telling (loudly and repeatedly) a woman who does look back and identify with those past behaviors, problematic as that is, that she made CHOICES that were detrimental to herself and others. After all, the fact that she moved beyond that lifestyle to make different choices is a testament to the fact that she KNOWS they were choices AND she KNOWS they were harmful.

People are scared. The police are killing everyone and nothing is being done. Not only is nothing being done, there is a knowing belief in the air that nothing will be done. Ever.

That is, if anyone stops to take the temperature of the air.

Frustration has turned into apathy.

Indifference.

Download protest apps here.

Experts have proven that the more concrete, the more flooding. Cement trucks roll like thunder.

Plagiarize smagiarize

Crooks are saying they are crooks and aren’t even daring people to do anything about it, because no one has done anything about it.

Besides, if I am a crook so are you. Your white lie is equal to releasing chemicals into a populated village.

People are keeping their heads down not because they don’t want to see, they are keeping their heads down because that is what they are doing. They can’t bother to worry if it is because they want to see or not want to see.

Caring is free but it is withheld. No one considers why they withhold, they just do.

None of your problems has anything to do with me.

Your problem is due to you doing this this this this and this. So, not my problem.

For years, non-southern white liberals have been patting themselves on the back about how anti-racist they are all the while pointing their fingers at those horrible southern racists. Not to say the south hasn’t and doesn’t have their share of racists, but look at you now you racist assholes.

But, I know how this works, just how Missouri’s geography was re-purposed and named the “South” to separate what was happening there from the good liberals, soon Minneapolis-St. Paul-Bloomington will be called the South. No one can make boudin, sweet potato pie, and iced tea like those Minnesotans.

Eventually, the proud pseudo-non-racist-racists will be pushed into a crowded corner in a Manhattan Whole Food’s bathroom (unisex, of course!) and attempt to justify their disparities in pay with no more geographical fingers to point away the blame. Bastards.

I should point out that it’s not just snark that compels me to highlight this reality. It’s to shed a light on how many excuses and for how long people have been on the “not me” bandwagon. It is you. Yes it is. You cannot just point at those filthy southerners and go on about your business as if it has nothing to do with you. Soon the light will expose the west, the northwest, the northeast and all the rest of the country that enjoyed dumping on the South and framing it as if racism was confined to that area.

Oh look, a letter from a martyr mom who double dog dares anyone to look at a photo of her daughter and assert that the doctor was doing her/his job by suggesting/recommending an abortion.

Just shut up already. Your sexism and abortion shaming is atrocious.

Healthy children without any disabilities require lots and lots of attention and care. More care than many people can provide emotionally, physically, and/or financially. To knowingly accept a disable child is knowingly burdening yourself. I’m not suggesting that babies who have been brought to full term and birthed should be murdered, so save it already with your deflection. To act like a disable child will not be an additional burden to already raising a child is a lie.

However, having a baby with Down syndrome is not perfection.

Having a reasonably healthy child and cursing them out every single day of their lives because child-rearing is overwhelming to you is not perfection.

Having a reasonably healthy child and loving them every single day is not perfection.

But this, this open letter to the physician is pure anti-abortion propaganda. Not to mention how it is a ploy to pit mothers (an women in general) against each other. What ammunition for the holier than thou mother who has to deal with a child with disabilities have to hurl at a mother who dares to complain when her child is reasonably healthy.

We get it, you are a saint. If your husband and family and you complimented you more and showed appreciation for your sacrifices (your choice), you wouldn’t need to post an open letter to the world uplifting yourself by attempting to shame a physician for suggesting an abortion (and by default shaming mothers who abort at the news of being pregnant with a disabled fetus).

How many times have you read, “Transwomen Are Women? Full Stop.” It’s like because it’s said, it is.

That’s not how it works. Saying it doesn’t make it so. Demanding that others believe it, doesn’t make it so.

If transwomen (males) are women, then why do they call themselves transwomen at all? Why is a distinction being used? Are they women or not? Of course the answer is, they are not women. They are not female. They cannot become female. Imagine taking your male dog or cat to the vet and asking the vet to make it into a female. The most the vet can do is neuter the dog. Other dogs will still know that it is a male dog. It may mistakenly get hump, but that happens to many dogs before any neutering happens.

I am a woman and I don’t have to say I am a transwoman first to say I am a woman. I am a woman and everyone around me knows that I am a woman. If I were to say that I am a woman, the people around me would wonder why I am saying it. Their first thoughts would be, “Tell us something we don’t know already, Mistress Obvious.” However, when social justice warriors (SJWs) and males say transwomen are women (“full stop.”) (LMAO, that final-esque declaration never gets old! LMAO!) what are they really saying?

When males (or others advocating for their lunacy) say, “Transwomen are women,” and then add “Full Stop,” what they are doing is priming you for the following exercise in mental contortion. It’s like giving you a moment to adjust your bearings. It’s a command and a warning too. It is saying you better change what you are saying and shut up or you will face their wrath, their threats of violence.

No wrath is like the wrath of a violent male reacting to others not giving him his way.

These males want what is available as both. As transwomen they maintain their male privilege, because saying “transwomen” is saying what? It is saying, “male who dresses like a woman.” The benefits and authority that comes with being male is retained. Then, pretending to be women they get to feed their delusion and benefit by having unquestioned access to female spaces. They will never say they are women without the preceding disclaimer of being a transwoman, because without the patriarchal male authority lending their lies power, they know people will dismiss them on the spot.

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“Ye miserable, crawling worms, are ye here again, then? Have ye come like Nimshi, son Rehoboam, secretly out of yer doomed houses to hear what’s comin’ to ye? Have ye come, old and young, sick and well, matrons and virgins (if there is any virgins among ye, which is not likely, the world bein’ in the wicked state it is), old men and young lads, to hear me tellin’ o’ the great crimson lickin’ flames o’ hell fire?
Aye, ye’ve come,
Dozens of ye. Hundreds of ye. Like rats to a granary. Like field-mice when there’s harvest home. And what good will it do ye?
Ye’re all damned!
Damned!
Oh, do ye ever stop to think what that word means when ye use it every day, so lightly, o’ yer wicked lives? No. Ye doan’t. Ye never stop to think what anything means, do ye? Well, I’ll tell ye. It means endless horrifyin’ torment, with yer poor sinful bodies stretched out on hot gridirons in the nethermost fiery pit of hell, and demons mockin’ ye while they waves cooling jellies in front of ye, and binds ye down tighter on yer dreadful bed. Aye, an’ the air’ll be full of the stench of burnt flesh and the screams of your nearest and dearest...
Ye know, doan't ye, what it feels like when ye burn yer hand in takin’ a cake out of the oven or wi’ a match when ye’re lightin’ one of they godless cigarettes? Aye. It stings wi’ a fearful pain, doan’t it? And ye run away to clap a bit o’ butter on it to take the pain away. Ah, but’"
(an impressive pause)
"there’ll be no butter in hell! Yer whoal body will be burnin’ and stingin’ wi’ that unbearable pain, and yer blackened tongues will be stickin’ out of yer mouth, and yer cracked lips will try to scream out for a drop of water, but no sound woan’t come because yer throat is drier nor the sandy desert and yer eyes will be beatin’ like great red-hot balls against yer shrivelled eyelids....” ---Amos Starkadder, Cold Comfort Farm.

"Any time something is written against me, I not only share the sentiment but feel I could do the job far better myself. Perhaps I should advise would-be enemies to send me their grievances beforehand, with full assurance that they will receive my every aid and support. I have even secretly longed to write, under a pen name, a merciless tirade against myself."--- Jorge Luis Borges, (autobiographical essay, 1970).