"This causes me to encounter one of the most retarded conversations thus far, short of nauseating moments between Ryudo and Mary Sue. A green-haired lady bitches, 'Man, I'm hungry. Why doesn't this 'high-tech town' build a machine to dispel the food curse?' Tidink wonders if that's even possible. 'Of course it is. All things are possible... With the right financial backing,' Green Hair replies. I think this is what happens when the game designers run out of ways to beat a concept into our heads before they run out of NPC dialogue to write."
-Jeanne,
Grandia II Part 4

Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Okay, let’s not tiptoe around the big Tidus in the room. I know, I know. It’s been way too long — again! — since an update. Newsflash! I still suck.

But there is some good news buried inside this giant steaming pile of procrastination. In the month of November, instead of participating in NaNoWriMo in the traditional sense, I used that time to write 50,000 words of recaps. So it was more of a NaReWriMo, really. So how many recaps does 50,000 words make? Well, I wrote three full recap installments (Tales of Symphonia, Suikoden, and Skies of Arcadia), each of which is more than long enough to split in half. Technically, that’s six recaps. You read that right: I have six recap drafts completely written. You’d better believe I’m going to be parceling those fuckers out and buying myself some more recapping time.

I still need to go through and do screenshots and editing, but those don’t take anywhere near as long as the actual recap writing process. So sometime before Christmas, look for the first of six new recaps. Six! (Yes, that means I wrote six recaps in a single month. For the love of God, don’t make me do that again.)

This has nothing at all to do with video games, or penises. I just think it’s really, really, REALLY cool, and not at all as disturbing as the version of Bohemian Rhapsody used in the cock train video.

About VGR

From the site's title, you should pretty much be able to figure out what we do. Okay, fine, I'll spell it out for you -- we recap the plots of various video games, using sarcasm as well as a slew of penis jokes.

And now we're blogging, too! You can hardly contain your excitement. I suggest you do so anyway. We don't need to see that shit.

If you prefer your humor clean and respectful, this probably isn't the place for you. If you are a teenage boy who can't stand to see people on the internet call your favorite game characters homosexual, this probably isn't the place for you. If you expect your humor to be tailored to your specific tastes, this probably isn't the place for you. All angry e-mails will be mocked.

We have registration open to the general public, so we'd love to hear from you. That is, unless you are one of those people who's just showing up to make things unpleasant for us. Then, you'll be deleted and your posts will be mocked.