If you were planning on spending the rest of your day skipping along higher planes of consciousness after doing shrooms laced with PCP, you’re in luck. You can save those PCP-kissed shrooms for another day, because a new Willow and Jaden Smith interview is out, and reading their words will make you feel like you’re slow dancing with L. Ron Hubbard to a P.M. Dawn song on the rings of Saturn. But just like shrooms laced with PCP, you may have to schedule in time to deal with the comedown.

Jaden is on Baz Luhrmann’s Netflix show The Get Down, and sure he could promote that, but instead, he and Willow promoted their *~thoughts~* on things. Pharrell Williams talked to the human form of a 90s ying and yang necklace for Interview Magazine, and just like their other interviews, it’s a PSA on what happens when you mix together two young minds, Scientology, not much parental guidance and a shit load of money.

The smooth rat, who is our spiritual guide in this trip into the head spaces of the Smiths, started off by asking them what’s on their minds. Now, if you ask any 15-year-old that question, they will probably look at you with death eyes and mutter out, “nothing,” before going back to Snapping (or whatever the hell the children call it). But Willow is not your normal 15-year-old. She has layers of complex thoughts on her mind at all times, so she told Pharrell that she’s got the world on her mind:

Willow: This morning actually was pretty intense because I was thinking about the world and my place in the world, things that I have made or want to make. I was thinking about all the things that I could do that I don’t do. But, you know, I was just thinking about the world and everything.

Willow and I aren’t that different, because in the morning, I too think about things I want to make (a Pop-Tart) and things I have just made (a first-of-the-day caca).

From there, they talked about how their biggest role models are their parents, how Willow is better at everything, how the olds don’t get their thought processes and how even though their still fetus aged (15 and 18), they’ve already lived their coolest days:

Jaden: Nobody knows that Willow and I were much, much cooler before. Like, before people were looking at the things that we were doing, we were so much more, like, method with fashion. We really went all the way. We went the extra mile on everything because there was no one looking at us. We’ve been through the roof, with ludicrous fashion ideas since we were extremely young.

Once the smooth rat got the superficial shit out of the way, he got deep and asked Calabasas’ greatest philosophers what kind of deep questions would they like to present to the world. Are you ready, world? Because here’s those questions (SPOILER ALERT: Jaden quotes a Black Eyed Peas song):

Jaden: A question I would like to present to the world is: Where is the love? And what are we doing? Who’s making the decisions that are putting us in the predicaments that we are in, with all of these people losing their lives around the world in so many different ways? I feel like a serious revolution needs to take place in order for human beings to evolve in a way where we can truly exist as a society. Because, right now, we do not act as a true society. We act as a world under terror, just scrambling to survive.

Willow also agrees with Jaden that we need to get all Hunger Games: Mockingjay up in this whore, but she also doesn’t think that this is real life. Willow told a story that sounds a lot like my first time taking E.

Willow: A fan came up to me in New York a couple days ago, and they’re like, “Is this real life?” And I looked at them, and I go, “I don’t think it is.” It was a crazy moment because I actually, like, looked into her eyes and thought, “She’s actually asking me this question. Like, she’s not BS’ing me. This isn’t a joke. She’s actually asking me, ‘Is this real life?’ And I’m giving her my truest answer, which is, ‘I don’t think it is.'” Because you see so many beautiful things happening in this world, and you see so many things that make you want to cry and crawl under a rock. But there’s an underlying feeling of magic and mystery in everything that I live for. I feel like all of my art is trying to get people to see that underlying, subtle energy that lives within everything that we see and what we don’t see in this world.

If you appreciate the rich kid weirdness of the Smith kids, click here to read the entire interview. You should also read it if you’re a bitter old bitch like me and want a reason to scream, “Get off my lawn, kids!” But before you scream that at them, ask them for their drugs first, because you know they’ve got some good, good shit.

And here’s pictures from their Interview shoot, which look like stills from an artsy student film about characters from The Matrix time traveling to Civil War times.

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