(Original post by grapefruit_girl)
another friend went out with a 22 yr old when she was 13, and another friend went out with him a yr later so she was 14 and he was 23 and both times it was totally fine.

In principle, I don't think age should matter - that's not what relationships are about and human nature takes no account of age.

However, in reality, age can matter. It matters particularly when a girl in her early teens is going out with a guy who is in his mid twenties or more. It matters when a sixteen year old guy is sleeping with his best friend's forty-year-old mother.

It matters in these situations because people generally think that one of the parties in each relationship is far more vulnerable than the other. But, a guy who is eighteen could be just as capable of using/abusing his girlfriend as a guy of twenty-five is.

Generally, age seems to be an issue when the girl is far younger than the guy. People assume that girls of fourteen are more likely to be persuaded to do something they may not want to than girls of eighteen. Whether or not this is the case, the point is that views of age in relationships are always based on assumptions and stereotypes. People think that a twenty-five year old guy can only be with a fifteen year old because he wants sex. Maybe, maybe not. But sometimes people have to learn the hard way.

I think the problem is that it is viewed that people of similar ages should be together. But if you actually think about this, it should not necessarily be the case. I'm not saying a twelve year old should see a fifty year old, obviously - there are clear boundaries of what is reasonable and what is not. But overall, there are so many more important apsects of relationships - I'd be more worried about whether the people are happy than if they have the same year in their date of birth.

(Original post by grapefruit_girl)
i did used to think there wasnt an age limit, but one of my friends(same age as me, 16) is going out with a 35 yr old.......and shes in love with him, and he tells her that he loves her too

(Original post by Lauren18)
You assume that people are together because they have things in common. Plenty of people are together *because* they are opposites.

right, she's underage. So when he goes off to the pub with his mates she can't come. They would have nothing at all in common. Yes opposites can work sometimes but usually there is something in common, however small.

(Original post by BlackHawk)
right, she's underage. So when he goes off to the pub with his mates she can't come. They would have nothing at all in common. Yes opposites can work sometimes but usually there is something in common, however small.

Haha I do agree with you to a degree, but it is *possible* that a relationship could exist without sex and without going to the pub. They might both like horse riding or something! Unlikely, I concede, but not impossible.

If, in theory, the 13 year old was mature enough to know exactly what she wanted, and the two of them were in love, then why should there be anything to stop that from going on?

Hell, even if they weren't in love, but were both mature enough to understand the relationship and make their own decisions then why shouldn't it take place, there are lots of relationships without true love.

If, in theory, the 13 year old was mature enough to know exactly what she wanted, and the two of them were in love, then why should there be anything to stop that from going on?

Hell, even if they weren't in love, but were both mature enough to understand the relationship and make their own decisions then why shouldn't it take place, there are lots of relationships without true love.

If, in theory, the 13 year old was mature enough to know exactly what she wanted, and the two of them were in love, then why should there be anything to stop that from going on?

Hell, even if they weren't in love, but were both mature enough to understand the relationship and make their own decisions then why shouldn't it take place, there are lots of relationships without true love.

yeah i agree. Both of my friends were strong willed enough to stop him if he did anything they didnt want to. Btw, they didnt do anything sexual, only a hug and a kiss and holding hands. He didnt want anything else. If anything, one of my friends probably wanted to do more than he did. and we all have friends in common. He was in a band, so share of the love of music is ok right?

i understand about my friend going out with the 35 yr old though.......it is rather disgusting....i mean, he has a nephew thats only 3yrs younger than us and his sister isn't much older.... He waited til she was 16 to have sex, but i can only think its because he doesnt wanna get in trouble....

and if you think about it, the legal age of consent doesnt really work, because some people are more mature than others at 16. Loads of my friends have had sex before they they were 16 and theyve been fine.... Although, i suppose they did have to make some law about it and it is pretty hard to determine whos ready for sex.....not like theyr gonna make each teenager take a maturity test before giving up their virginity.....not that they impose the law anyway

It's difficult to say really. I think it seems a bit of shame for an 18-year-old to be with a 40+ year old (like someone I know), I mean, they're from different generations. Long term I don't think relationships like this work out.

To the original poster: 7 years is fiiiine, don't worry!

I once had a crush on someone who is (I think) 35 now and wouldn't say no, despite the age difference.