Stones and Boulders and Scary Prayers

Stones before battle. I’ve never noticed the order before, but there’s something there, don’t you think? He does the miracle, makes the impossible possible, parts the Jordan. But we don’t just sit and chill. We battle. We fight–but not in our strength, in His! We battle on our knees and with splayed Bibles, with tears and joy.

And what did Joshua tell God’s children, his warriors, “When your children ask their fathers in times to come, ‘What do these stones mean?’ then you shall let your children know, ‘Israel passed over this Jordan on dry ground.’ For the Lord your God dried up the waters of the Jordan for you until you passed over, as the Lord your God did to the Red Sea, which he dried up for us until we passed over, so that all the peoples of the earth may know that the hand of the Lord is mighty, that you may fear the Lord your God forever.”

If we never had a Jordan to cross, never had the impossible before us, never faced adversity, would we get to see the fullness of God’s mighty hand? I know it was never God’s plan for us to experience pain, but doesn’t our Jordan give us a chance to see God dry up the mighty river?

This is me telling you there are plenty of times that I’m like, “Really, I think I’ll just sit here on the side of this river today, God. I’m just exhausted. I want to see you do the impossible. But I know there’s a battle on the other side, and I’m bone-tired.”
And this is why we need the stones. We need the stones to be our push, our steady foundation, our cornerstone.

That prayer you’ve been afraid to pray–let’s pray it today. The one that scares you. The Only Godprayer–that’s the one for today.

A friend emailed me right after we got E’s referral and told me she was praying E was “home before the honeycrisps.” I smiled so big when I read her prayer. One–because she knows my love for honeycrisps. And two–because she had the courage to pray such a specific prayer. When I first read it, I thought, “There’s no way. No way it could go that quickly.” And then another friend told me she was praying for six months. Six months to have E home. And, again, I loved the specific prayer she was praying, but it’s impossible. But over the past few days I’ve been praying their prayers–the prayers I was too afraid to pray.

And the deal is–God is sovereign and His timing is perfect. No matter when and how He chooses to move, I know He is faithful. I know He is good. I know these things because I have my stones. I can see His faithfulness time and time again, through dark days and joy-filled days. But I love what Joshua said to the people before they crossed the Jordan, “Here is how you shall know that the living God is among you . . . .” Praying scary prayers gives me a chance to see the Living God. Praying scary prayers gets me on my knees for battle.

If you were to look back in my writing from the past couple years, you would notice there are very few posts about our adoption. Certainly not because I wasn’t thinking about it, but because I was so weary and so discouraged. I was barely hanging on, and, really, I was only hanging on because there were others lifting my arms. The whole stones thing has become a running commentary for Heather and me. I just went back to look at my text thread with her, and for the first time I realized these texts took place hours before we found out about our daughter. These texts started at 7:48 AM. We got the call about E at 3:45 that afternoon. Only God.

So, if you should happen to see boulders in a yard in Memphis and a yard in Ocala, just know . . . Only God. Let’s pray the scary prayer today. Let’s be ready to battle on our knees. The Living God is among us.