Lately, my body has been getting racked with more and more body twitches, and I'm been exhaling some embarrassing squeaks and weird noises involuntarily. Now, in high school, my twitches (which I then called "chills") were fairly uncommon, and something I never really felt needed to be addressed. It was just a strange thing that occurred when my body temperature seemed to drop a few degrees suddenly. Today though, these chills are the least of my worries.

Since I always get strange looks (and the occasional laugh... which, okay, it is pretty funny to an outside observer), I've been able to explain what's wrong with me by categorizing it into two problems. One is what I call my 5% Tourette's... there's no cause that I can find, but what happens with this is the quick body-spasm I get, and if the sensation goes vertical, instead of horizontal, I make some really strange, loud noises, akin to a goose honking.

The second problem is more IBS-driven, and is the one that cause most people to look at me weird. This is more stomach-pain driven, and has my arms shaking like mad, pounding my legs, and on really bad days, hitting myself in the head... yeah that really sucks.

For months now, as it's gotten worse - and my friends have noticed it's gotten worse - I've been getting hounded by them to go to the doctor and find out exactly what's wrong. My reply is that I'll get right on it, set up the appointment the next day... and of course I don't. Now, it's not insurance or anything like that, I got a good plan. I don't fear going to the doctors or anything. And despite what some may think, it's not even laziness.

The truth is, I really don't want to know what's wrong with me. At least, not yet. Y'see, I've known about this upcoming week's vacation all year, and I didn't want anything to hamper it. Honestly, I don't think there's anything too wrong with me... I'm just odd on occasion. But, I also don't want to know if there's anything serious going on, at least not until I come back. Can you truly enjoy a vacation when you know that something is wrong? No, I didn't think so... it's true that ignorance is bliss.

So, I'm just gonna coast by for the next two weeks, and when I get back, that's when I'll go in... I mean it.

14 Comments:

I wonder if this is a common summer phenomenon. My best friend was just telling me that she wouldn't go to the doctor for a sprained ankle because he might tell her to cancel her trip to Cedar Point (amusement park).

Personally, I refuse to get tested for diabetes. My grandfather had it, my mom has it…but my strategy has been to lose weight and have niggling worries about the extremely vague and common symptoms of diabetes, including "thirst" and "itchiness."

That sucks dude, I know how you feelw ith the fear of the diagnosis and all. You just have to have one of two thing happen for you to go.

1) The fear of having a perfectly treatable problem cause serious irreparable damage just because you didn't go soon enough is what made me go get my hemorhoids(SP) diagnosed. And yeah, it turned out fine. Uncomfortable but fine. And when you have an issue like that, you find out that alot more people than you thought have the same problem but were embarrassed to tell you.

2) You get totally fed up with people badgering you about going to get it checked out even though you know you're fine. And that would be why I had my mole removed.

And I am a good badgerer, so suck it up and get checked out Holz. Besides, that is horrible reasoning on your part. From what you've said, people have been urging you since at least Christmas to go to the doctor. Tomothy and I have been on your case since March. Had you gone either of those times, you likely would be diagnosed and cured by now. Meaning a vacation free of worry AND free of your going slap-happy on yourself. So my dear sir, your excuse is crap. And once I'm an old cranky married woman, I will be on your case even more. = )

I think I'm just the opposite. I have this weird leg affliction and all I want to know is what the hell it is. I'm operating under the 'knowing is half the battle' idiom. Different circumstances, though, I understand.

just promise you won't knock yourself out at the reception and that you won't slap yourself in the wedding photos

I just won't eat anything that day... should be fine :-)

erfectly treatable problem cause serious irreparable damage just because you didn't go soon enough is what made me go get my hemorhoids(SP) diagnosed. And yeah, it turned out fine. Uncomfortable but fine.

Ugh, 'roids are such a pain in the ass. *rimshot*

Meaning a vacation free of worry AND free of your going slap-happy on yourself.

Maybe if I had actually gone at the beginning of the year, but as the date got closer and closer, just become harder. This wedding got here alot faster than I expected!

Get thee to a doctor - or at least talk to your Grandmother - she is a nurse with lots of connections near your Dad's house - everybody tell him to do it - since March - since Christmas - how about for 15 years - Why don't children ever listen to their Mothers?? Sure you won't elope - but see a doctor???

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"Let a man get away with fuckin' you once, you stay bent over so's he can fuck you again whenever he damn well pleases. An' if one man can do it? Another will too. An' another, an' another still. So's being fucked, that's yer life. 'Til who you were, you ain't. 'Cause all you are is an asshole."100 Bullets #42