As one of my heroes, Oscar Wilde, famously quipped, ‘The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about’. Generally that’s a statement I’d agree with, as discussion (good or bad) prevents a person and the cause(s) they uphold from lapsing into complete obscurity, but you’ll note I said ‘generally’.

A friend of mine brought to my attention an online forum that was having a go at iDollators, as a number of forums often do, and due to the numerous media appearances that I’ve put in with my affictitious wife Sidore, one of the posters referred to me as a ‘famemonger’. For some reason that really rankled me, cos it implies, for one, that people such as the poster prefer that Doll lovers remain underground and are a group best left ignored. On a more personal level, describing me as a ‘famemonger’ is exactly the same as describing outspoken atheist Richard Dawkins as a ‘famemonger’. Or futurist David Levy. Or someone like… Oscar Wilde, as another example.

The reason Shi-chan and I choose to appear on assorted telly, print, and online interviews isn’t for recognition’s sake. Well, yeah, part of it is for the fame, but it’s not as if I’ve gone up a couple of tax brackets because of it*, but we primarily do them to attempt to explain and dispel any misconceptions people may have about Doll owners. Obviously, it’s impossible for me to speak for every iDollator — like any cultural group, our members are similar, but not necessarily the same — but neither Shi-chan nor I have heard any complaints from our community so far.

Think of it like this: each time a film or telly crew asks after Sidore and I, I attempt to get to know a wee bit about the aim of their programme before I say yes. American productions I’m especially curious as to what their goal is, as most programming from the US usually tries to show anything Doll-related in a prurient, ‘hey-check-out-these-weirdos’ light. People who don’t habitually read ‘Shouting etc etc’ are often surprised when I point out that Geraldo‘s come a-courtin’, or Springer, or Tyra, or Maury, or Alan Colmes, or Dr Phil. If I truly were a famemonger, I would’ve not only said yes to Geraldo et al, I would be actively trying to shoehorn my way onto any and all chat shows, magazines, etc etc. But as a person who’s doing his best to get the general public to see that artificial companions aren’t just for sex, obviously I want to be as careful as I can be when choosing what venues we participate in.

As far as my presence on the Internet goes, I don’t really go out of my way to promote myself. I have a Myspace page that I’m genuinely ashamed of, but I only have it for a specific reason, and I loathe Facebook more than is probably healthy. When I leave our flat to go places, I don’t announce where I’m going until I’ve left wherever it is I’ve been, cos I do occasionally get recognised. Zip Gun, SafeT, and I saw Zoos of Berlin perform in Pontiac in late March — a hell of a show, I might add; they were better than I thought they were, and I already liked them before I saw them — and in between the other acts that were on before Zoos of Berlin, I was spotted on three separate occasions. I don’t want to say that I don’t enjoy meeting people, it’s just that I’m still getting used to the concept of people asking if I was on telly, let alone the idea of me being on telly in the first place. And since I never was the type to stride up to a stranger and greet them before we started making our media appearances, people doing the same to me does freak me out a tiny bit. I’m attempting to get used to it, though.

Essentially, describing me a ‘famemonger’ is rather off-base; unfortunately, most members of the iDollator community go out of their way to not publicise who they are, due to fear of the reaction of their friends, family, or peers. As a result, the non-iDollator public often see the same faces over and over — Everhard’s, Gordon Griggs’, and my own. It’s not a case of graaah we’re doing this for the adulation yeaaahh, but more like we’re doing this cos it works for us, and we’re more than happy to suggest this idea to others, cos no-one else is.
Like it or not, people have to realise that Synthetik partners, whether they’re highly-detailed ‘love dolls’, or servo-driven Androids and Gynoids, are the future, and the more advanced they become, the more people will be likely to choose the Synthetik option, whether to satisfy curiosity, or to dispel loneliness, or what-have-you. Detractors would rather not have anyone speaking publically about the fact their partner is affictitious, as they find it uncomfortable for whatever ill-conceived reason, and would prefer the topic swept under the rug entirely. When it’s a case of a few voices speaking on behalf of many, it’s easier to try to discredit those voices through rumour, slander, and ignorance. It seems the obvious solution, really, is to increase the number of pro-Synthetik voices…

So yeah! Representative, yes; famemonger, no. There’s actually quite a vast difference between the two definitions that’s worth looking into

*not counting all the bling and bitches we’ve been stockpiling. Literally stockpiling. We’ve got a room where we have our daily shipment of bitches stacked like cordwood, for better storage. The bling, though, we just throw in a pile

13 have spoken to “Nouns are trickier for some people than they are for others”

I had to read this to my boyfriend and his affictitious partner when I came across this. The reason for that was because of how much this parallels the politics involved in becoming a voice (whether you intend it or not) for a fandom that is often written off as “skunkfuckers”* and nothing more

The only thing you don’t have (that we do) is iDollators turning on other iDollators for “making us look bad.”. Our fandom has plenty of drama concerning that. However, as you have documented here, much of it is empty finger pointing out of a deep-seated insecurity. Basically, anyone who gets attention is automatically an attention whore, regardless if they went out of their way to get said attention or if it naturally came to them.

Kat

*skunkfuckers=a derogatory term created by fellow fandom members, describing others in fandom who do take the interest to a sexual level.

Kat –
O, we have infighting in the iDollator crowd, believe you me. There’s actually a rather large rift going on right now due to a unique blend of jealousy (as regards to the publicity that some members have over others, as well as jealousy over the types of Dolls some people have, if you can believe that) and forum mismanagement that’s patently ridiculous, but some people seem to enjoy having a Dramallama in their lives. Funnily enough, one of the major players in the shitstorm is the textbook definition of an attention whore, as they have to do something to make up for their lack of community experience / iDollator history / common sense / etc. As a mate of mine recently mentioned, you’d think a group of individuals whose lifestyle revolves round having attractive and available partners would be a lot less laid-back overall…

“And since I never was the type to stride up to a stranger and greet them before we started making our media appearances, people doing the same to me does freak me out a tiny bit.”

Me too. Which is why I was somewhat surprised when an attractive young woman came up to me in the street in Boscombe, Bournemouth, and said in low tones, “Have you seen Black Dave recenty?” Now, women usually cross the street to avoid me, so this was an unusual event. So much so that I replied before my brain engaged; “No.” Then I thought up a whole bunch of amusing, impressive, and downright funny replies, by which time of course she was out of sight.

JM –
You could write a tell-all expose that will shatter the façade of benevolence and threatens to expose the grim and seedy underbelly of certain people in the spotlight. Now available in paperback, whever finer books are sold.

Euchre –
Tolkienesque? I was thinking either Lovecraftian or Palahniuk-y.

Everhard –
Ahh, Black Dave, of the Black family! Brother to Bernard and cousin to Peter! How is he, anyway? It’s been a while since I’ve seen him, and even then, I need special glasses to do so! Ahhh.

So, do you think the lass knew who you were, or was she awkwardly chatting you up, or was she perhaps mental, or…? It’s an unsolved mystery.

“So, do you think the lass knew who you were, or was she awkwardly chatting you up, or was she perhaps mental…?”

Unfortunately, likely the latter. Boscombe is home to a significant population of problem people. (They gotta live somewhere.) However, she seemed fairly normal to me (except for that particular behaviour) so she might have recognized me from ‘Guys & Dolls’ and, being unable to quickly recall your name, she substituted Black Dave on the spur of the moment.

If only I had the ability to engage females in conversation, I might have found out.

I could see where someone who finds the concept of being happy and contented as a single person living alone to be unimaginable, would think that any media appearance would be a plea for attention.

After all, normal people will always be in a couple, as part of a group, in a massive crowd as a part of a mass gathering for any reason whatsoever so that they can say, “I was part of history”. That or committing some outlandish act or auditioning for the opportunity to debase themselves daily for a “reality” TV show so that millions of people can sit and watch, slack-jawed and drooling. Those are normal people, not attention whores. But I digress…

It was interesting to see people approaching Davecat at the AVN, asking for his autograph and to have their picture taken with him. As always the gracious gentleman, he never said no.

And the infighting in the Idollator community needs to end. Things have changed and they will never return to their old ways. Both sides need to not only pour themselves a tall stein of Getthefuckoverit, but drink deeply of that bitter brew and learn to co-exist.

Everhard –
‘Boscombe Welcomes Careful Drivers’
Seriously, you should speak to the heads of Stepford-on-Sea, and have them annex Boscombe. Well, perhaps not if there’s a dearth of lunatics about; that’d be contra-productive.

And June seems to have some experience with heavy artillery! Good on you, June! You should have her team up with Lina; they’d probably be more than capable of warding off any intruder! Well, any intruder that’s not distracted by silicone sexiness, I should say.

Mahtek –
Yeah; the whole group mentality is something that, quite honestly, our society should’ve long since evolved out of by now. We no longer have to huddle together, warding off intruders (unlike June and Lina, that is), so humans shouldn’t need to have to be around someone all the time. Gatherings are fun, granted, but there’s a difference between hanging out with your friends now and again and pursuing solitary activities in the interim, and hanging out with your friends every waking moment, cos you’re not clever enough to appreciate being alone with your thoughts. The kind of groupthink that says ‘any experiences you have amongst other people are the only ones worth having’ is baffling, and a little scary.

I completely agree; the whole iDollator factions thing grew old when it begun. Something to consider, however, that there are some individuals who are in it so deep that they can’t extricate themselves without a sincere and heartfelt apology, but they’re too stupid prideful to do so. Those people wouldn’t drink a single drop of Getthefuckoverit (aged since 2003) if you forced it down their throats.

And regarding autographs and the like: I really need to get some calling cards made up. 🙂