Slick’s Unleaded Run Report

The last of the Tasmanian wanderers (Bigamist) returned back to Sydney with a head cold and stories of happy times in the apple isle.

A decision was made not to return to the Ranch Hotel.

I return to Little Shit’s naming details at the end of this report.

This week’s Run No 2626 started and finished in the carpark next to the OnOn venue. The Mediterranean Marsfield restaurant. The hares for this run were Plunger and Slick.

Plunger meaning a device used by Plumbers to clear blocked drains. logic Graham was given this hash tag (by Frenchie) due to having a long and loyal work history as a 2 nd generation employee in the plumbing industry.

Slick meaning a thin layer of oil that has spread out over a large area due to a loss of containment eg ruptured pipeline. logic I have the rather dubious distinction of being so named (by Music Man) inside the haloed surrounds of a boutique brewery (managed by Frenchie’s Son in Law) because of a long pre-retirement employment history with a well-known oil company

So we are talking about Hares with some pretty messy Hash Tags here. Blocked drains! Loss of containment, oil slicks! Could this week’s run have something in common with these Plunger/Slick Hash Tags? Will we all be going home covered in oil or, heaven forbid, something worse? From a superstition viewpoint the run is on the Monday after a Black Friday 13th and the hares did a reccie for the run (with wives in tow) on the Friday. The girls were lagging behind somewhat initially until a stranger warned them that he had seen snakes in the area, then somehow they picked up their pace dramatically and had no trouble at all keeping up with the hares? Unbeknownst to the hares, the original OnOn venue, the Ranch Hotel Nth Ryde, had been in the news with a well-documented case of maggots crawling around a cooked steak that had been served to a paying customer (google el rancho maggots). So now we have a dilemma on our hands. Should we cut and run away from this place, as a venue, as quickly as possible or should we dig our heels in and stay with the venue but somehow try to avoid an all-out mutiny from the Hash troops? Let’s weigh up the management options available to us for such an issue.  Stonewall No I don’t believe there is any evidence to say that those maggots really came from that establishment. Yes I have seen the video of those small yellow wiggly things crawling around that well-cooked steak but there is no proof that it actually came from their kitchen.  Hard-line Tell them all to go & get f**ked! We’re going to the Ranch Hotel and that’s all there is to it.  Talk it up did you realise that maggots are actually a great source of protein. When the Army have troops in the bush who haven’t eaten for three days, they recommend maggots splashed with a liberal dosing of BBQ sauce to curb any hunger pains.  Lump it onto the Committee Hey guys how about we have a cook up this week? Call Pee Dub to get the trailer happening and I’ll go and buy some meat.  Change the venue Start looking around, at short notice, for a venue that will seat thirty to forty hungry and sometimes rowdy Hashmen for a Monday night meal. So even though the maggot issue happened a couple of weeks ago, and there was a very good chance that the Health Dept had been through the place like a dose of the salts, it was decided that a last minute change of venue was necessary. Which is how we ended up at the Mediterranean Marsfield Restaurant and the bucket location was moved to the car park close by. The run started off from this leafy car park in Marsfield, wound through playing fields and parklands before going under the M2 and along a street to come onto bushlands. From here the trail headed westwards before crossing over Lane Cove River and heading east again. There were a total of six check backs for the runners to negotiate and one more river crossing, with slippery rocks but no oil slick, for all to cross over. Grape Ape had a most unusual run tonight. He ended up knocking on the front door of a house to ask for directions. Not only did he get those directions but the owner of the house took pity on him and gave Grape a lift in his car all the way back to the bucket. The Mediterranean Marsfield Restaurant had seating both inside and outside undercover but managed to fit the majority of the boys inside. I originally thought that this place was going to be a virgin onon for the group but Ayatollah assured me that he had held one here, with good results, a couple of years ago. The menu/food was a one size fits all deal with serving plates to pick from in the middle of the table, kicking off with salad and garlic bread. Then three different pastas to choose from and finally a selection of pizzas. Maximus Brock then gave Down Downs to;

The Hares Plunger and Slick
Spud (because he hadn’t been along to a run for a while).
Our hard working waiters for the evening Chris & Joe.
777 now got up and told a joke about soldiers getting drunk.
A new section tonight was called “On This Day Oct 16” where Hash Historian Tic Toc gave out clues to how certain famous people had died on this day and asked the group to guess who they were as he went along.

Next Week’s Run
This will be a BBQ run starting from the Manly Warringah Baseball Club which is just east of the Warringah Aquatic Centre. The hares are White Shit and Centre Point

OnOn Slick

PS In last week’s run report I made mention to the fact that I was not sure just how Little Shit came by his Hash Tag. A few days later I received an email from Tic Toc who explained in fascinating detail the events surrounding his naming. So with his kind permission I have copy and pasted the naming details here;
You ask the rhetorical question: how did Little Shit get so named? As I remember it, and it is undoubtedly to be confirmed after the 50-year embargo expires, and should Major Disaster not personally invoke a Major’s Call veto, the said gentlemen, with a heart of lead, used to play tin soldier war games with the said Major Disaster. The Major has an entire wing of Disaster Towers at Warrawee Heights devoted to various historical battles, replete with authentically sculptured terrain, fox holes, obstacles, detritus, little yet powerful cannon, and battalions of fodder dressed colourfully in regimental uniform and armed with tiny Baker flintlock rifles. At the throw of the dice the battle would commence. At its conclusion, sometimes taking several hard-fought days and knights, and the winner declared (the one causing the most deaths to the other side, with accompanying, blood, gore-immersed human flesh and the unbearable grief of their distraught mothers) the combatants would enjoy a couple of schooners of VSOP rum before the loser faded off into the night to lick his wounds. The loser, who was never on home battleground, was invariably the Hashman who aspired to be The Hero of Waterloo, but was more accurately known as Loowater’s Ghost. Coming-to after an athletic Hash dash thru the backstreets of Neutral Bay one winter’s evening, at the OnOn ensconced within The Oaks, on the occasion of the Presidential Hash Harangue by then revered President, Moonbeams, Loowater’s Ghost naturally wanted to chat to another Poshman about other subjects deemed more important. President Moonbeams spun round to locate the source of the irrelevant, interruptive and impertinent chatter, and cried in tones that would wake in fright John Meillon who was dozing in an adjacent bar, “LG, you’re A LITTLE SHIT !!”. The gathered multitude responded as one, “LITTLE SHIT, LITTLE SHIT, LITTLE SHIT….” even chorused by two aged spinsters enjoying a couple of thimbles of medicinal brandy in the corner, overlooking Military Road & Yeoman Street as it happened …and somehow the name seemed, well, just right. But inside that chastened breast beats a heart of gold….
OnOn Tic Toc

Slick’s Unleaded Run Report

It’s certainly been something of a sad time this week Gentlemen
 Fox Face was diagnosed with cancer. (our thoughts & prayers are with you Roger)
 There was another mass shooting in the USA. (but thankfully not in Phoenix)
 Holden won the Bathurst 1000. (just where was this car manufactured?)

This week’s Run No 2625 started and finished at the Austrian Club in Frenchs Forest. The Hares for the evenings run were Little Shit & Goon Show

Little Shit meaning The Urban Dictionary defines Little Shit as a term of semi-endearment and or semi-dislike for someone who is somehow annoying but there is also something about them that is both likeable and agreeable. logic don’t know exactly know how Andrew came by this hash tag so I’ll leave this one alone!

Goon Show meaning this was a popular British radio comedy which first aired in the 1950s featuring Spike Milligan, Peter Sellers & Harry Secombe. The surreal style of humour used on the show is widely regarded as a precursor to Monty Python’s Flying Circus. logic Jeremy originally had a different hash tag but it was noted that he was prone to the occasional, John Cleese Faulty Towers style, outbursts at hash meetings to which a certain Hash member would reply “come on Jeremy not the Goon Show again” and eventually the new name stuck.

Last week Little Shit promised 1km of virgin trail and Goon Show hinted that this week’s run was going to be pretty tough! Our hares had arrived suitably early and could be seen sitting back relaxing in collapsible fold away chairs as the Hashmen arrived for the run. So without too much fanfare our trail master White Shit led the 30 plus pack off to a fairly slow start because some of our star performers were either overseas or on sick leave. The trail was agreeably well marked in a lot of areas but annoyingly sparsely marked in others!

About two thirds of the way around the trail there was a real ball breaker of a check back (some dark humour this) which led the runners down a steep gully to the water at Bantry Bay before having to turn around, come all the way back out, and find the real trail again. The first runners back completed the trail in about 75 minutes and the walkers started to trickle back in 10 minutes later. Last light was at 7:25pm and there was no sign of the moon in the sky so this meant that a fair portion of the trail had to be covered in total darkness.

Challenging conditions indeed! Luckily there were no slips, trips or falls recorded here but torches were really essential. Jack the Ripper, Handshake & Wee Willie, who were walking the runners trail, had no joy finding the chalk back to the bucket after the ball breaker check back and ended up going back the way they had come in (ouch!) to make it back home in the time of 120 minutes. Wee Willie said his fit biz registered 16,000 walking steps for their efforts.

Friendships can be forged in the middle of adversity and I have been reliably informed that Jack & Handshake now have an invitation to Wee Willie’s daughter’s wedding in two weeks’ time! The Austrian Club has some interesting beers from Salzburg on tap. Stiegl (means steps in English) and Erdinger (a wheat beer) and, in my opinion, both tasted pretty good. When it comes to food, this Club is not too big on options for meals. The choice was chicken schnitzel and apple strudel and that was about it. Judging by the empty plates afterwards the schnitzel/strudel certainly went down well. Our Commander & Chief Maximus Brock was away catching up on some well-deserved R & R so Your Choice stood in to rally the troops for the down downs which were given to:
 The Hares Little Shit and Goon Show
 A second down to Little Shit (not really sure why?)

Pee Dub stood up and told a joke about studying law and screwing people. Kitty had one about vets and dogs and Sheep Dip had one about prostitutes.

The Sick List

Benny the Swedehad his Hamstring re-attached in day surgery & is now home on crutches rehabilitating & soon to be back competing with the runners

Fox Face has started chemotherapy treatment for Multiple Myeloma (blood cancer) and will be in and out of hospital for the next 30 weeks At this stage Roger prefers any contact to be by way of Text (0414 646 525) or Email (roger@corbin.com.au) rather than phone calls.

The Good News
Jungle Jim informed me that he has completed the long walkers trail for two weeks in a row now. Last week was the first time that he had attempted the hash trails since his health issues began. (You can’t keep a good Hashman down for too long, Go Jungle!).
Darwin Don is pretty much okay now. He still has shoulder issues which bugger up his sleeping patterns but his GP and Specialist are well on the case.

Next Week’s Run
The run will be starting from the Macquarie Uni sports field. Enter from Culloden Rd, go across the M2, and park next to the tennis centre (on the right hand side after entry). The hares are Plunger and Slick who said that the run will be a mystical maze of mayhem in beaut hashing territory. The OnOn is still to be finalised.

Hugh Hefner died and went to Playboy Heaven. (or did he go the other way?)

So this week’s run number 2624 began and ended at the Terry Hills Tavern. The Hares were Druid and Duckweave but before I go into details of just how the run progressed I’d like to begin with an understanding of just what our hares hash handles mean and the logic that went into naming them so.

Druid meaning; a pre-Christian religious devotee.logic; Bill was given this name due to spending his early formative years in a part of England well known for its rich ancestry in pagan worship.

Duck meaning to lower one’s head quickly in order to avoid collision with a foreign object
Weave meaning to move from side to side whilst still maintaining forwardlogic In his younger years John had a very fast and efficient style of running along Hash trails hence the name.

Our hares had some unusual tales to tell of coming across snakes and wallabies whilst setting this trail and also meeting a couple with a pet dingo named Kimba who provided helpful local knowledge about trails in this area.

Armed with this local knowledge the hares assured the group that there would be a good percentage of “virgin territory” to be covered on this trail with the run being 6.1km and the walk 4.5km long with a few good hills in the mix.

Even though he helped set the run Druid could not be with us tonight because he had a previous engagement. (a boring old strata meeting).

A variation in marking for tonight’s run meant that pink ribbons were used to mark certain sections of the trail. Duckweave assured the group that this had nothing to do with voting yes on the Gay Marriage postal form and Druid had previously stated that the ribbons were not used to point out where sacrificial virgins had been buried after ritual slaughter!

Now, helped with this vital information, a pack of 30 plus Hashmen set off from the Tavern with Plunger as the Trail Master. According to the walkers their trail went smoothly without too much confusion but the runners had a different story to tell. Apparently they missed the left turn into the Larool Trail, continued further up Alumuna St and down a different trail before finding the chalk (pink ribbons) again in the Neverfail Gully. From here it was a fairly straightforward run, minus check backs & checks, back to the bucket.

Sadly nobody saw any naked virgins performing ritual dances around campfires (were the Druids really into that sort of stuff?). There were no stone alters erected to give offerings to the Gods but there was a certain amount of ducking and weaving required to make your way along the trail.

After 55 minutes the first runners back to the bucket were Music Man and Plunger followed closely by Cinders with the walkers coming in roughly 20 minutes later. Strangely due to some mix up in communication we had a bucket tonight but no stainless steel mugs until Your Choice saved the day by bringing along some plastic cups. This spared us from viewing the somewhat unpleasant sight of Hashmen bent over, arse up head down, drinking from the bucket tap as per water bubbler style.

Thoughts were now moving from the bucket to the evening meal so looking around and seeing a full car park on a Tuesday night is a sure sign that the Terry Hills Tavern must be a pretty good place to have a feed.

There was no sacrificial lamb, or duck for that matter on the menu here just good old fashioned Aussie pub food and, if you knew what to order, plenty of it.

After the meal Brock gave down downs to;

the hare Duckweave

Hanoi Bill & Major Disaster because they missed out on the 50 yr celebrations

Your Choice because he put such a huge effort into the 50 yr celebrations

Wee Willie now told a joke about the difference between a good year and a great year and Jack the Ripper had one about a 5 year old learning the difference between Labour & Liberal Party Policy.

The Hospital List

Darwin Don is currently in the Prince of Wales with a bad shoulder (old war injury).

Terry Morrow suffered a stroke 6 weeks ago down in Tassie which has been further complicated by a bad dose of the flu.

Bennie the Swede is having surgery on his hamstring.

Next Week’s Run will be at the Austrian Club 20 Grattan Cres, Frenchs Forest. The Hares are Little Shit (he’s promised 1km of virgin trail for this run) and Goon Show who said that if you thought this week’s run was tough then don’t bother showing up next week!

Hare: Handshake – ably assisted by Scotsman, Jungle and a team

Hunters Hill Sailing Club

On a spring day that started out picture perfect, became overcast, and finished with a beautiful sunset 190 Hash men and women gathered at the Hunters Hill Sailing Club in Woolwich for the final event of the Sydney Hash 50-year celebrations.

After a brief 200m walk from the rego area down to the Deckhouse wharf, our vessel, The Royale, Commandeered by Handshake was just pulling up alongside. Once everyone was on board, apart from a few who were over at Woolwich wharf, the Hash Cruiser set forth.

The first stop on this Hash odyssey was the

Thames St Wharf where the bulk of the Hashers alighted from the ferry to partake in trails through the Streets of Balmain, guidance being given by Trail Master White Shit with assistance from Flying Scotsman, Moishe and Plunger.Molly Meldrum was particularly resplendent, decked out in traditional Hash clothing including top hat, shorts and long soxes, providing short cut advice to those who wanted it before ending up over at the Darling St Wharf, ready to board the Hash Cruiser for more mischief, mayhem and adventure.

Once back on board our ferry took us across to Walsh Bay where once again walkers and runners were dropped off for a trail across the Harbour Bridge. Hashers who stayed on-board were treated to the ungainly sight of people doing their best to navigate their way around the decks of the vessel whilst the swell in the harbour was starting to pick up. This became more challenging with extra drinks consumed until the vessel found calmer waters over by the Botanical Gardens/Opera House where she idled until the walkers/runners were ready for pick up over at the Jeffrey St Wharf Milsons Pt.

Once back on board there was a relaxing cruise back up the harbour and around Cockatoo Island with drinks and a few prawns to replenish the energy stocks before the Hash Cruiser once again pulled up alongside the deckhouse wharf where our merry band of hashers made their way back to the bucket.

The bucket soon saw the hordes refilled with drinks and enjoying the humour and nominations from Tic Toc. Wine and beer flowed freely to accompany the laughter and friendship, until the throng was chased in for dinner.

With the bucket activities over Hashers were now treated to Indian curries, Nan and Pappadams organised and served up by Grape Ape and his loyal band of helpers in the hall of the Hunters Hill Sailing Club before the evening’s entertainment began.

Harriettes Klangers and Hell Raiser performed an interesting striptease of hash tee shirts down thru the ages and after a slow start to proceedings due to a pesky sound system, why do they always play up, Posh Tenors with golden hats did a somewhat unusual rendition of the 50 year old James Bond movie theme Goldfinger Entitled “Gold Hasher” the man with the Midas touch…

President Brock then gave a State of the Union address and introduced members of the 50yr committee Jungle Jim, White Shit, Music Man, Handshake, Your Choice, Fox Face and Tic Toc whose hard work, dedication and planning made the whole week such a success.

Now it was time for the enormous 50 year celebration cake to be carried out on stage. This proved to be a tricky business requiring two attempts before the cake made it out due some fumbling follies that caused it to topple over backwards on the 1st attempt.

It was plain to see that there was a hidden surprise inside this huge cake, so with bated breath the audience waited to see just who (or what) was coming out, a naked young lady perhaps (in your dreams), Darwin Don (the naked lady sounds better) but no it was Captain Knockers looking none the worse for wear from the earlier cake accident. This now signalled an end to the night’s entertainment.

Judging by the comments people were making whilst leaving the venue this eclectic band of Hash travellers from near and far had a great day out and enjoyed themselves immensely. So many Hash men helped out on the day with everything from loading/unloading the drink truck, manning the rego desk and the bucket, setting trails, putting up banners, setting up tables at the venue, serving food/drinks they are just too numerous to mention here. So please, you know who you are, hold your heads up high and take pride in a job well done.

Hare: Music Man – ably assisted by Tito

Manly Yacht Club

The brilliant sun shone down on Music Man as the team set up the registration and drinks station outside the Manly Yacht Club. It was going to be a Cracker. The Thai division arrived and set up their cooking and serving area as the first punters pulled in. And they kept coming, filling the lawn between the Skiff and Yacht clubs with cheer, stories and the Spirit of Hashing.

At 1pm MM call them in and off we went, up Stuart and into familiar Manly territory. Getting down to Little Manly beach PeeDub called – “this way boys, it misses all those beautiful bodies on the beach, and keeps us on the road” – shame on you!

Up off the beach, the scenic loop around the gas works and goodbye to the short walkers –Molly directing. The rest of the pack, now strung out headed down to Collins flats and missed treading on the famous fairy penguins.

From here it can only be up, and it was the all too familiar haul up police college hill to the old barracks on North Head. The walkers cut across to blue fish while the runners headed past the parade ground. Ayatollah and Sparks kept them honest, with just the dust from Moishe and the Scotsman lingering in the air.

The hare was kind as the day heated up and brought us down to the ANZAC walk out of the army grounds. Heading past the pumping station Melissa kept me entertained while we ducked down the trail to Shelly Beach.

From there it was the congested, famous Shelly to Manly walk. The new sea nymphs standing proud and on past the surf club with Duckweave ensuring nobody got lost.Returning to the club, the drinks were flowing, the Cashew Chicken and Pad Suwee was served and the 227 Hash folk were smiling. This was why we go through it all, a wonderful celebration of hashing.

Tic Toc, with Grizzly and MM, gathered the horde and down downs, songs and t-shirt swapping continued. The group from the Royal Selengor club, managed to strip Music, Hellraiser, Tic Toc and Maximus of there t-shirts (some one-off collectibles in the mix), delving into a supply of shirts and skirts from their home hash to continue their proud tradition. Mr FOES showed his sailing skills (lack of) and once again gate crashed the party (F-O-E-S). Your stand in scribe at this stage was finished, so it was pack up and On On. WS

From run 1 (18/09/1967), the first in Australia, to run 2621 (18/09/2017) Celebrating 50 Golden Years there has been a lot of hashtory, so as humble stand in scribe I have asked legends of old to contribute. I thoroughly enjoyed the Sunday lunch and the sight of over 100 Hashers, old and older heading off in the bespoke colourful white shirts – and have added a list of who was there below. Enjoy the tales of the Ruptured Duck, and the World Hash President popping from the cake. On On WS

50 GOLDEN YEARS RUNNINGHere’s cheers to Posh people!

Incredibly, from a backyard BBQ of buddies in Bushlands Avenue, Gordon five decades ago, a band of Fifty Golden Years of Brothers has blossomed.
Exactly 50 years later, on Monday, September 18, 2017, more than 80 Sydney Hashmen and 35 of those who were, retraced the first trail laid down by founders, Mike Miall (The Little General) and Phil Riddell (The Ruptured Duck) with Bill Davis and four other ex-pat types.

All proudly-prepped in their commemorative T-shirts, this posse of Poshmen, paused half-way through to hoist a fine Port toast to Hashtory and a new plaque to mark the occasion [GPS coordinates 33.7704S,151.1419E (my best guess Ed)].
Reflecting the epithet Posh Hash that others had laid upon us in the ’70s, the OnOn at Gordon Bowling Club offered nostalgic sangers, fine wines, craft beers, and a 50 Golden Years celebratory cake containing everything from nibbles to nuts–all from the same animal–including the newly proclaimed World President of all Hashdom, Darwin Don, who leapt nimbly from it to tumultuous applause!

The Emcees, massacres of ceremonies, Jungle Jim and TicToc, recognised such Posh luminaries as Co-founder, Phil Riddell who regaled us with the rhythm of The Ruptured Duck; Iceman with news from Crocodile Dundee, Bazza Warden with his fund of gags and, of course, our 50th President, Maximus Minimus (Brock Bowen), thanking all who made the celebrations so successful, including Your Choice and his 49th Committee, the 50th Anniversary Committee, and the many invaluable volunteers.

Memory fades now … did the Posh Players present their musical tribute “50 Ways to Love your Liver’? Did we raise a wee dram of the late and missed Hamish McTavish’s tokay, carefully cellared by Grape Ape? Were Mr. Neat’s album, Moments of Glory & Infamy on screen? Were the walls decked with enlargements (photos, not body parts) of a score of Posh legends?

Recalling the highlights was made difficult as the day before at North Ryde Golf Club 200 Poshmen and their partners enjoyed a commemorative luncheon to remember that featured: four courses, (including the splendid celebratory cake ceremoniously cut by Maximus Minimus and Ruptured Duck), bountiful beverages, golden décor, banners, bunting and PeeweeKing Arthur and the Golden Men of Music, who recalled another 50-year milestone, The Beatles’ Sydney Poshes’ One-and-Only Band.

Hosts of hugs and kisses were climaxed by pomp and ceremony signalling the recognition, elevation, anointment and proclamation, of Darwin Don Grenville as World President of all Hashdom with appropriate regalia.

Two unforgettable days of celebration sparked the beginning of a week of Hashing, with the key Sydney Clubs [all spawned from that first SH3 Run]. And then it’s on to Tasmania where Hobart H3 is to celebrate its own Golden Anniversary from Monday 2 October. —

OnOn TicToc

The 50 Golden Brown – Hash Bash.

And those who might think that this is all about the Clash’s classic 1970’s song of hedonistic substances can now move on and refer to last Sunday and Monday when Monday 18th 1967 was re-enacted…….but first it was all about cramming as many former, older and current hashmen, their memsahibs and partners into one expansive hall (North Ryde Golf Club) to eat drink and celebrate 50 years since the inauguration of the Sydney Hash House Harriers, AKA SH3

But really it is much, much more than that. What Ruptured Duck (The president you may not know about) and a handful of budding beer drinking buddies started way back then has transformed into a way of life. The POSH hash, as it has become well known, is so much more than a just weekly run to keep the respiratory tissues and right elbow alive. It has become a fraternity for all manner of extra curricula activities; namely the once legendary annual relay, (where tall and true stories and heroic acts athleticism fill the annals of time), golfing, swimming, kayaking, garrulous and indulgent eating, wine collecting and quaffing, hiking (long and short), and weekends away in the country with wives and partners. Hash members have become lifelong friends within a friendly ‘institute’ where professional and trade services, advice and health support are generously shared. Membership results in true and loyal mates.

And so it was that the celebrations on Sunday last were a hall mark of all that is good in life. Artfully and humorously compared by Jungle Jim and Tic Toc, who summarised the highlights of the last 50 years culminating in the inauguration of Darwin Don, the oldest active hashman in the world (now 95) as President of the World of Hashing. There was music and frivolities to wash down another gourmet meal all in the name of POSH hashing in Sydney.

And then the following Monday night onto a re-enactment from Gordon Bowling Club. Moishe and Lurch, both original members of the pioneering group and practicing their “eternal youth” not only set the run but Moishe also helped TM the same. It takes age and older legs of today to appreciate that the numerous hills and bush running in the dark were of little consequence to “twenty and thirty somethings” a mere 50 years ago.

Sporting flash new bombastic celebratory T shirts with our Running Man Logo was the attire for the night. Not so Molly Meldrum who togged in himself in the real clobber; Black Top hat, striped long sleeved running shirt and hooped leggings. It was a sight to behold and a hall mark of loyalty to the hash fraternity.

Having hashed just about every nook and cranny around Sydney in well over 2600 Monday nights over the last 50 years, the terrain was generally familiar in parts. We followed Goanna’s pipe line trail off Lady Game Drive, the creek line and finally back home across Gordon Golf course. All Good.

And just as we are now so accustomed to top tucker to follow a sweaty night’s run, suddenly we were faced with an original hash meal…….sausage sizzle doused in BBQ and tomato sauce and topped off with mild mustards. It was a reminder of how far we have come. But the wine was good, and plenty of beer to wash down the grease and cholesterol.

The poor PA system muffled the ‘once again’ comparing by Jungle Jim and Tic Toc and humour was best enjoyed at the front of the hall. But nothing could dampen 50 years of camaraderie

The biggie tonite –AGM and end of an era – the Bantry Bay end of Frenchs Forest was the venue. A popular area for the Posh and surprise, surprise there were no whispers of dickheads not reading the instructions and trying to enter the area via Hilmer St. A large crowd as you would expect for such an auspicious occasion – and good to see a few oldies On – Major Tom (here for 50th celebrations), Vegie, King Arthur,San Francisco, Pheasant Plucker and General de Gaulle.
Trail in this area is fairly repetitive over the years and was pretty similar to our previous run here for the 2600th. In fact the walk was identical to the trail which Lurch walked and announced to the pack that it was the “first time he’d ever walked a trail”. Molly Meldrum TM’ed the walkers but the map wasn’t needed and most of you just dawdled to come into the bucket in fits and starts. The runners were again pretty spread out and upon returning went straight for the finger food before having a drink. I’m sure potato fingers would have blocked up ones system if the journey was not lubricated first. Hand Shake was one of the last runners in, a situation which will no longer happen as he won’t have a chance to get out anymore – he’ll be too busy with JM duties. Tic Toc was last in – is that again?
The On was catered, and yep Little Shit was” managing the caterers” (like he is prone to do) – even dragged the President over to tell the staff to start serving. With 70 plus to feed, the queue was long and latecummers Goanna and Robbo only managed to get pulled meat and a spud. Goanna commented that it was a bit of a let-down after his $320 Italian lunch. The old-farts and Moochers, who were sitting together (minus absentee Dr Jekyll), looked like they had been starving themselves for a week to wring their monies’ worth out of the night – they got what the latecummers missed out on.
Only Downs tonight were for the Hares and it was “drinks for the Boys” – Moishe and Plunger. Humour from a reticent Pee Dub with one about Tiny Brain playing golf with pregnant women – as he does! Then a very big hole in the proceedings – where is XXXX when you need him? where is Tic Toc? even WeeWilly?
The first part of the rainbow, yellow-shirted singers using tonight as a rehearsal for next week. Last time they appeared they were orange-shirted in Orange.
For entertainment we had Smiley’s mate the “comedian”- would have been better if he’d donned frilly knickers and bra and done a striptease – at least that would have been funny and satisfied the flesh hungry.
The out-going Committee, resplendent in white red wine magnet shirts were given a sender off, before the new Committee in their red shirts with a thousand dollars worth of embroidery were presented to the assembled multitude. Then it was mingle, pick-up yearbooks and goodie bags containing exquisite (I reckon any hash gear that fits first time is exquisite) navy blue shorts.

Finally, the real penultimate run of this Committee and your tortured Scribe is running out of steam. Again we were out to punish the lower inher north shore this week with a trail by Colonel Sanders and Grape Ape (handling the chalk for the umpteenth time this year or was that handling the waitress at dinner). This time of year and this area is crawling with other hashes and their trails – it doesn’t help that there’s been no rain since I don’t know when, so potential for confusion, and that came to fruition. For many this is home game territory and that helped a few to get home. We’d expect to see Khyber On tonight as he’s a “homie” but he’d chosen to attend, by special invite, an exclusive Moocher thrown birthday party for Bunny Trapper???XXXX was at the Bucket announcing to one and all that his knees were ok but his hips were f@#ked. Seems to me like everything from the waist down is f@#ked – have you seen the guy walk?
The walkers mostly came in together mainly due to the guidance of local Duckweave who gave them a part of a NSWH3 trail in their 5kms. A few like Slick weren’t going to let the Duck out of their sight.
Most of the runners came in together also, which according to Flying Scotsman was due to him and the TM laying bits of trail as they went and the others just following. White Shit looked a right mess when he arrived panting at the Bucket. Seems a big spicy birthday lunch had worked its way thru him and the only remedy was home to bed. A little scuttlebutt from Music Man whilst he was quenching his thirst – apparently some dickhead named Pedro (who would that be) had been on 2BL this morning sprouting about how he’d died whilst sailing in Mexico – who listens to 2BL?
For the On we jammed ourselves into the Berempah “hash house” -an establishment these hares have used before and probably the closest thing we get to a real hash house – well it is Malay street food, but 5 course degustation maybe not. It was great to see the Hares making sure the night worked by assisting with the serving. Soapbox Alert! Soapbox Alert! That’s the way it should be – a hare does a deal with a restaurant and if it means the best deal requires they have to be a waitress for the night to keep the cost down (and ensure all received a fair serving) then that’s the way it is. It sure as hell shouldn’t be the JM’s or Committee’s job. Same applies to on site Ons – so, bouquets to Grape Ape and Colonel Sanders. Copra did struggle to squeeze between the punters to collect your 25 bucks though.
For the Downs the President and beer wenches set themselves up at the front door – probably for a quick escape. The Hares were duly regaled for their efforts. Then, there was a repeat of last week – Wee Willy for being into bondage which got out of hand – with bruises to prove it (that was Kitty Litter last week). Then, Kitty Litter for going arse-over but then that’s a regular event like his ongoing love affair with public transport. A down for Jack the Ripper’s brother-in-law who admitted to being some sort of traitor – he joins the ranks of half our pollies. Finally, a drink for our hosts Joe and Steph (great Malay names those).
With a few prompts from the audience Pee Dub, who was back on humour-duty, told us the history of sex – who cares about the history. Tic Toc as always was able to embellish one about 3 naked snatches. Out of the blue XXXX jumped (see earlier about his ability to do that) to his feet brandishing a bit of a cardboard, which he’d found in his garage, upon which were written the Ten Commandments – now that is history.

Once again a large pack turned up for this the second last penultimate run of this Committee with Ayatollah haring and Jock the Sock lurking in the background abrogating responsibility at every opportunity. A cold night tonight; this was enough to keep Darwin Don and his (cold) shoulder at home in front of the telly.
The Bucket dwellers had heard that someone had planted themselves at the restaurant – the likely suspect being French Connection, so Bunny Trapper and the Hare quickly took tonight’s wine and beer to said establishment to no avail but Bunny stayed (and “guarded” the wine?) – Frenchie turned up late(r) and went to keep Bunny and the wine company.
Trail managed to spread itself all over Crows Nest, Nth Sydney, Cammeray and Naremburn with the runners as usual trying to add other surrounding suburbs as well. Copra was the first of the walkers back, (from the wrong direction) and exhausted, promptly sat down on the council provided chaise with a beer. At 7.40 the Hare was starting to worry about the trail length but then suddenly after 8.5kms Smiley led the runners in. Yep Smiley – can’t understand what went wrong there. There was all sorts of discussion at the Bucket about which lane trail did or didn’t go up, who found it or not and who did or didn’t call. As always you know who the culprits would be – Little Shit maybe? What’s more he had all of the answers, most of which were wrong so he was not impressed, but Ayatollah was stoked?? Visitor from the Larrikins, Bren Gun admitted to carrying “bus money” in case he got lost and needed a cab – cripes the guy has lived in Nth Sydney most of his life so oughta know where he is.
We adjourned to the On venue – an untried (by us) Spanish restaurant which is great for a little change of diet. The plebs jammed themselves into the main dining room whilst the Hares and the snobs seated themselves in the foyer. We shared large platters of paella – really the owner dish out portions so the animals wouldn’t scoff the lot. Although quite tasty I’m surprised there weren’t whinges about the value. Oh and there were churros with chocolate dip.
The announcements were made a little difficult by the split rooms but so long as the JM’s kept the beers coming things worked. The Hares were regaled for a great summer run – in Crowie???? Then proceedings came to a halt because Kitty Litter complained, that as a poor deaf bastard, he couldn’t hear over the music – fixed! Bren Gun, as a visitor, received a beer before Wee Willy was punished for using Google Maps on his phone to get back to the Bucket – and he lives local too! Then, a thank you drink to Ramez the Indian owner of the Spanish restaurant we were in. Finally, Kitty who was sporting mammoth chest bruising from when he undershot whilst hurdling an Armco fence (that’s probably what made him deaf too). The nurses at the RNSH had reported it to the cops because they thought it was domestic violence -baseball bat?Pee Dub had scampered so it was Wee Willy humour to the rescue – DELETE. Tic Toc really tried to save the day with a priest’s hairdryer but I think things were too far gone.

This was a test run for the 50th Anniversary event next month. The first thing I got out of it was that if you intend to take your car- DON’T. After 20 mins of driving around every street in the vicinity, even into Manly and over to Little Manly trying to find a park, I opted to park in the spastic spot out front of the club to go find Superglue and ask him to second for me because I was about to head home. Luckily, Molly spotted a family about to flee so I was able to jam the truck into a motorcycle size parking spot. If you think Saturday in that area will be any better you are badly misinformed.

Trails in this part of the world pretty much cover all the same territory as have previous international events Sydney Hashes have conducted in this area – Little Manly, Collins Beach, Spring Cove, Quarantine Station, North Head, St Patrick’s College, Shelley Beach and a jaunt along Marine Parade to Fairy Bower. The TM had no idea where trail was going because he just joined in with the runners and followed them. Pee Dub had the “short” map so the real walkers were left to their own devices for the 7.4kms. Fox Face arrived late so had to be content with spending 45 mins on trail socialising with Centre Point and Pee Dub. E-Shit turned up at the Bucket in a full “cammo” outfit but it surely didn’t work because he stood out like dog’s balls – more on that later.

Tonight’s On was in the Manly 16Ft Skiff Club (not quite another trial run as we are using the Yachties next door for the 50th ) and the place was really hopping. Thank goodness we had our own room. As has happened before a number of hashers ordered their meal before being told Copra was coordinating the order – with the fare being a $10 steak. Some, including a certain butcher, were heard to pronounce it as the best steak they’d ever had – the best $10 steak maybe but far from the best steak. Others had fish so were not in a position to comment. By the way Jack the Ripper wore his hi-viz to dinner so he also stood out like dog’s balls.

Because he had to go to meet his dope growing cousin from Griffith, Pee Dub started the humour before our mash – it was an autobiography. Wee Willy gave us some reverse psychology and Tic Toc was telling jokes in private tonight.
Downs tonight for Hares “Mr How good is this” Music Man, and MaximusMinimus, also Hanoi Bill, not to commemorate his burnt down Commodore but to wish him well for his (muff) diving trip to Mauritius. Then we had the “Dickhead Down” to a Gomer Pyle-looking E-Shit who also tried to spew forth with some woeful humour before being shouted down and donating his rag-bag of hash gear to 777.

On On
Bigamist

OUT and ABOUT- Anonymous Fake News

Smiley and Handshake have decided that it’s more important to go sailing at Hamilton Island than spend time joining with the Hash on the Monday runs…….this is normal for Smiley, and we understand he needs somebody that knows something about yachts and sailing to show him what to do, but for one of our new members who is only settling in to his new name it’s a bit much. Ordinarily Smiley would have imposed on somebody who is an Mb (Master of Bandages).
It was a courageous gesture by ‘Shake to spend a week with Smiley.‘Shake even went to Target for a new set of underwear so as not to be upstaged during those stressful moments hauling in the sheets.
Anyway, they have arranged to get back to Sydney next Tuesday, missing yet another run and the British car day at Kings School on Sunday. Some people?