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Month: June 2004

Okay, I’m tired and sweaty and generally disgusting to be around but somehow I’ve gathered the strength to find more crap to put up on this site. Never being one to have one’s sexuality questioned, here’s a game from the Gurl.com website. Make your own cyber-sweetheart. Who cares? Apparently, I did as I went through the process and came up with this. Was it accurate? Not on your life. Was it entertaining? Not even close. Was it the best I could pull out of my ass tonight? Absolutely. Good night.

Disgraced former olympic figure skater Tonya Harding has a website in which people can post comment via her online forum. Being a high-profile figure coupled with sometimes nefarious nature of the internet she tends to attract some pretty shady characters whom write in her forums. The Tonya Harding Fantasies forum above all is the most bizarre featuring things that are unquotable even on this website. But since you asked so nicely. All the dirty words have been replaced by me (in Capitals):

We would go eat a nice dinner then go back to hotel. My wife would then PLAY BACKGAMMON WITH tonya, slip her skates on then BUY ICE CREAM. Tonya would be in so much pleasure she would be screaming for MORE ICE CREAM and at the end we all HIGH FIVE together. Then the two girls just start PLAYING FRISBEE. they manage to get in a OPTIMAL FRISBEE-THROWING position. Tonya pulls an ELBOW BRACE out from under the pillow and as she is ENJOYING my wife’s SENSE OF HUMOUR she slowly TOSSES the big FRISBEE INTO my wifes ARMS. my wife starts to CLAP UNCONTROLABLY as tonya CATCHES the huge FRISBEE FROM of my wifes ARMS. Then ‚ with the bed shaking like there is a earthquake my woman CELEBRATES all over tonyas ARMS and EARS then move in and start to clean her with my WETNAP as she CONGRATULATES me. I am working my way down to her PLACE OF BUSINESS as my wife straps on a FANNY PACK and positions herself behind tonya . My FEET PIROUETTE NEAR the skater like a 9.9 then I can feel as the FEET DANCE. Now me and my wife are just SPENDING QUALITY TIME WITH her OFTEN and shes lovin every minute…AWESOME.

An article that speaks near and dear to my heart. The sooner we can get rid of this typeface the better. Note: Graeme did a similar if not better take on this in an article on his now-neglected website.

Ed Broadbent is back apparently. I seriously thought he was dead being as his heyday was like 20 years ago. Not only is he back but some incredibly cruel advertising firm actually managed to convince him to star in a music video (ahem) rapping. What the fuck?! Thanks to DG for the link.
Oh fuck! Ed’s back!

Here’s some nice albeit creepy flash animations from the Meguro Language Center showing how to speak basic Japanese. I recall some time a few months ago when I was trying to speak Japanese through audio lessons and a Japanese English dictionary. These would have been a nice supplement to the lessons.