Message From a Recon
Marine on the Front Lines in Afghanistan-Unproven!

Summary of eRumor:This is a graphic and
expletive-laden message said to be from a Marine writing from the
front lines of fighting in Afghanistan.

The Truth:We have not found any origin or validation for the message. No
identity is given.

Some versions indicate that the message was read on a radio program
in San Diego. That is true, but the producer for Sully and
Scooter at KOGO radio says they do not have any information on the
identity of the Marine or whether the letter is authentic.

Last updated 02/4/02

A real example of the story as it has
been circulated:

Subj: A RECON MARINE IN AFGHANISTAN SPEAKS The following was read on the
Sully and Scooter (Radio KOGO in San Diego) Show on Nov. 17:

Just outside of Ab Gach, in the northwest panhandle of
Afghanistan
between
Tajikstan and Pakistan, November 11, 2001.

- - Bizarre, It's (expletive) freezing here. I'm
sitting on hard,
cold dirt
between rocks and shrubs at the base of the Hindu Kush mountains
along the
Dar 'yoi Pomir River watching a hole that leads to a tunnel that
leads to a
cave. Stake out, my friend, and no pizza delivery for thousands of
miles.

I also glance at the area around my ass every ten to
fifteen seconds
to
avoid another scorpion sting. I've actually given up battling the
chiggers
and sand fleas, but them (expletive) scorpions give a jolt like a
cattle
prod. Hurts like a bastard. The antidote tastes like transmission
fluid
but God bless the Marine Corps for the five vials of it in my pack.

The one truth the Taliban cannot escape is that,
believe it or not,
they are
human beings, which means they have to eat food and drink water.
That
requires couriers and that's where an old bounty hunter like me
comes in
handy. I track he couriers, locate the tunnel entrances and storage
facilities, type the info into the handheld, shoot the coordinates
up to the
satellite link that tells the air commanders where to drop the
hardware, we
bash some heads for a while, then I track and record the new
movement. It's
all about intelligence.

We haven't even brought in the snipers yet. These
scurrying rats
have no
idea what they're in for. We are but days away from cutting off
supply
lines and allowing the eradication to begin. I've said it before and
Ill
say it again: This country blows, man. It's not even a country.
There are
no roads, there's no infrastructure, there's no government. This is
an
inhospitable, rockpit (expletive) ruled by eleventh century warring
tribes.
There are no jobs here like we know jobs.

Afghanistan offers two ways for a man to support his
family: join
the opium
trade or join the army. That's it. Those are your options. Oh, I
forgot,
you can also live in a refugee camp and eat plum-sweetened, crushed
beetle
paste and squirt mud like a goose with stomach flu if that's your
idea of a
party. But the smell alone of those "tent cities of the walking
dead" is
enough to hurl you into the poppy fields to cheerfully scrape bulbs
for
eighteen hours a day.

And let me tell you something else. I've been living
with these
Tajiks and
Uzbeks and Turkmen and even a couple of Pushtins for over a month
and a half
now and this much I can say for sure: These guys, all of em, are
Huns.
Actual, living Huns. They LIVE to fight. Its what they do. Its ALL
they
do. They have no respect for anything, not for their families or for
each
other or for themselves. They claw at one another as a way of life.
They
play polo with dead calves and force their five-year-old sons into
human
cockfights to defend the family honor.

Then again, maybe I'm just cranky. I'm freezing my
(expletive) off
on this
stupid (expletive) hill because my lap warmer is running out of
juice and I
can't recharge it until the sun comes up in a few hours.

Oh yeah! You like to write letters, right? Do me a
favor, Bizarre.
Write
a letter to CNN and tell Judy and Bernie and that awful, sneering,
pompous
Aaron Brown to stop calling the Taliban "smart." They are not
smart.
I
suggest CNN invest in a dictionary because the word they are looking
for is
"cunning." The Taliban are cunning, like jackals and hyenas
and
wolverines.
They are sneaky and ruthless and, when confronted, cowardly. They
are
hateful, malevolent parasites who create nothing and destroy
everything
else.