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And here's my Story submission. I spent over 2 hours writing this just now, and it's past midnight, so there may be a typo or two as I haven't checked it, (it's almost 2000 words) but I hope everyone enjoys it!
Edit: edited for typos.

Story begins... now:

It was Duke's birthday. Not that it really meant anything to him, he lived life to the max every single day. Nevertheless, the babes insisted that they throw him a party. Somewhat reluctantly, Duke agreed; he was always one to please the ladies, so he booked a room at the finest, classiest restaurant in town; Duke Burger!

"Aww ladies you shouldn't have," beamed Duke. The Holsom twins were carrying a nuke symbol-styled cake towards Duke, who was sitting upright and ready with a knife in one hand and a fork inthe other, both planted firmly on the table. The twins bent over as they lowered the cake onto the table, and Duke's mouth started watering. Afterall, he could appreciate the view.

"Alright, where are my presents?" winked Duke. "What are you waitin' for, Christmas?"

"Not until we've had the cake!" teased Kate.

"Yeah come on Duke, blow out the candles and make a wish!" screamed her sister, Mary.

"Hold on," said Duke. "Candles? There's only one friggin' candle on this thing!"

"Well… the thing is…" began Kitty Pousoir, taking up an adorable innocent pose. "We're not entirely sure how old you are…"

"Girls, get behind the counter," said Duke. Rays of white light, started shining in from under the door and through the gaps, and the 8 or so babes were petrified with fear. "Get behind the counter NOW!" The babes, brought back to reality by Duke's deep, sexy and commanding voice, scrambled behind the counter as if their lives depended on it.

Then it happened. Three enforcers broke through the door and started shooting at the babes, just as Duke shot a switch on the wall, raising an impenetrable force field between the babes and the alien scum who a long time ago shot up his ride.

The forcefield was holding strong,deflecting the bullets with high pitched tones, the volume of which was exceeded only by the babes' continuous shrieking and screaming.

Duke acted quickly. He shot the closest enforcer in the knee, and as he bent down in pain, Duke ran up andkicked him in the face, sending him flying across the room and crashing into a convenient swordfish display. "Ooooo, that's gotta hurt!" The other two were just as easy, Duke shot a gas pipe on the wall and the resulting explosion threw them across the room and knocked them unconscious.

Being the cautious man Duke is, he made sure they were wasted by bending over and placing a bullet in their heads. After all, the babes' lives were still at stake. Speaking of the babes, Duke had to make sure they could make it to somewhere truly safe. After wiping the blood from his shoe with a napkin, Duke walked up to them in front of the forcefield.

"Listen girls, Daddy's got to take care of some business, now if you'll follow that corridor behind you, you'll find your way to a teleporter back to my mansion. I want to you go there, raise the automated defences, and destroy the teleporter."

"But Duke… that means you won't be able to…" began Trudy.

"I know what it means!" Duke's brow creased. "But it's the only way you'll be safe. I'll try not be gone too long, but I'm sure you can find a way to… entertain yourselves."

Footsteps could be heard comingfrom outside the Duke Burger. "Go!" urged Duke. The babes quickly scurried out of sight, and Duke heard a twig break. He turned his head halfway towards the sound, forming a classic Duke pose that just happened to match a Duke cut out that was three metres to his right.

The aliens came in. Or rather alien. It was a single assault captain, who looked around only to find the room empty, save for the mess left by Duke of course. There'd need to be a big cleanup on isle four when that day is over. The assault captain was enticed by the delicious looking cake, and walked towards it. Afterall, it was a really high quality cake, Duke only liked the finest cakes.

Suddenly, Duke stepped out from behind the door and locked his arms around the captain. In one swift movement he grabbed the captain's wrist teleporter and activated it. Instantly they were both sucked into another dimension, with swirling blue and green lights everywhere,and Duke, still holding on firmly to the captain, seemed to be spinning in every direction at once. Just as quickly as it started, they both rematerialized somewhere. Duke, having no more need for the alien, snapped his neck and let him drop to the floor.

Duke looked around. He was in what appeared to be a corridor, which looked like it was made of some kind of unknown metallic element. That didn't hold Duke's attention for long. Everywhere, covering almost every surface was some kind of organic material, maybe even a living organism.

Duke bent down and put his ear onthe ground to see if he could hear anything. He closed his eyes to enhance hishearing sense, and surely enough he picked up something. It sounded faintly like women screaming, but it wasn't coming from the organism, it was from down the corridor. He picked himself up and ran down until he found a transparent green door, and what was on the other side almost made him drop his gun.

"Babes, what are you doing here? I thought I told you go back to the mansion!" asked Duke.

"Oh we thought we did, but the aliens have the ability to intercept transport beams, and as soon as we stepped on the pads, we were teleported up here!"

"Hmm, I should'a known those alien maggots booby-trapped the network. Hold on, we're short one biddy in that room, who's missing?" asked Duke.

"The one with the cat ears, Duke" said Kate.

"Really? She was my personal favourite! Damnit, why do they always take the hot ones?"

The babes, with arms crossed, glowered at Duke.

"Well, what I mean is that sometimes I feel like there's this person in my head, who controls what I do,and that the babe with the cat ears is his personal favourite." Duke put hisarm around the back of his head and tried to look convincing.

"Oh alright," said Mary. "We can never stay mad at you, Duke."

"Thanks babes," smiled Duke. "Say, there's a vent over there up on the wall, do you think you can get the grate off of it?" The babes all went up to it and started pulling on it to no avail. They went back to the transparent door to find that Duke was now holding afully loaded rocket propelled grenade launcher.

"Wow Duke, where were you keeping that thing?" asked Kitty.

"Ahh, well… you really don't want to know." The babes all looked slightly concerned for a moment, so Duke decided to take action. "Look, just stay right here and I promise I'll be right back ok?"

"Ok Duke!" said all the babes in unison. It's moments like that, that really boost Duke's ego.

He headed off down the corridor and kept running until he could hear a deep, menacing, almost mechanical voice. It was coming from an open doorway at the end of the corridor, so Duke went over there and peaked in. Inside was some kind of control room, with a lot of interfaces and energy beams flying around the place. At the back of the room was a large tank with an alien symbol on it that Duke didn't recognize. It looked important, but he didn't care, there were more pressing issues at hand. In the middle of the room was the Cat Ear Babe tied to some sort of contraption, and was being leaned over by none other than the Cycloid Emperor himself! (cue dramatic music) Towering 10 metres tall, and fully clad in battle armour, he was telling the Cat Ear Babe all his plans.

Cycloid Emperor: "The beauty of it is, we don't even need to use our full attack force. We just send in a small fraction, only enough to scare the puny humans into using their teleporters to escape, at which point, they'd rematerialize up here, into their worst nightmare, and will become hosts to a new generation of our army, as will shortly happen to you!"

"You're wrong!" cried Cat Ear Babe. "Duke will save me!"

"Hahahahaha! What spirit! Duke's time will come, but first I want him to see his world crash and burn, and he'll know that everything he's ever cared about or loved is gone. Then I'll go after your precious Duke."

"Hey bug eye!" shouted Duke,emerging from behind the door. "You want a piece of me? Then why don't you come get some!" Duke fired a rocket at the Cycloid's chest, and with a huge grunt, he fell, winded, onto his knees. With an almost instant recovery, he stood back up, barely scratched by the explosion thanks to his thick, scaly skin.

The Cycloid Emperor turned around and fired a rocket at Duke. Duke reacted quickly, firing a rocket back. The two missiles collided in a massive explosion that shook the room, and sent sparks flying everywhere.
"You're going to have to do better than that. Sewer scum."

"Nukem! How nice of you to join us! How did you get here anyway? Our scanners ensured that you wouldn't accidentally be teleported here"

"Well you know, 'twas a piece of cake. You'll never get away with this you alien bastard. It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and I'm all outta gum!"

"Oh yeah? Well what you're saying is shit so you might as well blow it out your ass. It's never too late while I'm still alive." Duke entered the room and circled around the Cycloid Emperor until he found a spot he was happy with.

"Well now, looks like we'll have to change that won't we?" The Cycloid fired a rocket at Duke, who casually stepped out of the way, causing the rocket to miss, and hit the giant tank with the unknown symbol.

"What?" Cried the Cycloid. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The tank cracked open and all this green slime started gushing out and flowingtowards the Duke and the Emperor. Duke jumped up, grabbing a bunch of cables that were five metres above him, and held on safely above the liquid.

Nevertheless, a part of Duke's life flashed before his eyes. He saw himself back in high school, when he was best known as a semi-professional jumper. Duke had always been good at jumping. He broke the school's records for the long jump, the high jump, the triple jump,the pole vault, the hurdles, the pogo stick competition, and the woollen jumper knitting competition. Duke was just a naturally high jumper.

Meanwhile while Duke was having a flashback, the Cycloid Emperor raised his arms to shield himself from the deadly liquid, to no effect. The slime flowed against his legs, and his flesh starting melting, until he collapsed completely into the deepening pool of liquid death in a torrent of blood-chilling screams.

Because the contraption that Cat Ear Babe was connected to was at a low point in the room, the slime was all congealing around her. Duke pulled out his pistol and started shooting at the interfaces.This made the platform the contraption was on rise up to Duke's height.

Duke swung himself over and landed next to the babe, who was more than a little over-joyed: "Oooo Duke, you're my hero, I'm aaaallllllllll yours!"

"What's this?" said a female voice. Duke and Cat Ear Babe turned towards the door. The death of the Cycloid Emperor must have unlocked all the doors, because all the babes were standing at the entrance, arms folded, and glowering doubly hard.

Duke NukemAngry Again!BySteven JohnsonThe Ultimate Ass Kicker is seated, staring at a stripper with an incredible rackDuke Nukem's in town, drinking Coke mixed with JackThe bar pulses to an erotic beatas a hot babe approaches Duke's seatAnd Then they comeThose damn alien scum!They blast through the doors, with multiple bombsThe crowd panics, and the girls start to fear for their wombsDuke kicks his table over, spilling his drink and getting real pissedHe draws his customised cannon, and shoots the lead alien "You're dismissed!"Gun and laser shots are exchanged between man and monsterBut it is the alien's blood that splatters an erotic posterWith a manly smirk, Duke steps from his cover, and marches to the atomised front doorAlong the way his 'Mighty Boot' smashing through the face of a dead alien upon the floorThe city is on fire, the sounds of all-out war in the distancePig Cops patrol through the streets, barbarically eliminating all male resistanceThe aliens have returned with a renewed, murderous, campaignDuke lights a fresh cigar, "Guess what you alien bastards? Duke's Angry Again!" END

Somebody voted me down for the story I wrote. Normally I wouldn't care about it, but I spent many hours late into the night writing that, and I consider it very offensive that somebody would look down upon that effort in such a way. Personally I think it's a good story too.

To that person: You should be ashamed of yourself. I challenge you to write a better story. If you can't, then don't down vote other people's work.

Somebody voted me down for the story I wrote. Normally I wouldn't care about it, but I spent many hours late into the night writing that, and I consider it very offensive that somebody would look down upon that effort in such a way. Personally I think it's a good story too.

To that person: You should be ashamed of yourself. I challenge you to write a better story. If you can't, then don't down vote other people's work.

Yet again another proof of how this shitty retarded rating system ruins the pleasure to interact with this community and kills the fun.

Whoa Mr Deviance, let's not get too much into that. The only reason why I posted that complaint here instead of this thread: http://forums.duke4....a/page__st__120 is because I challenged the downvoter to write a story similar in length and quality to mine (if not better), which was entirely relevant to the thread. I simply felt that if that person couldn't equal what I had done, he shouldn't be disrespecting other people's effort.
I agree that the rep system isn't 100% and probably never will be, there will always be someone who decides to ruin things, but let's agree to keep the peace and not post about it anymore in this thread :)

More generally, speaking to everyone: you shouldn't have to downvote my posts to be asked to write a story ;) If you've got time to read a forum, you've got time to put pen to paper or hit the keyboard. Be creative and see if you can write a good short narrative :)

Edit: @ sababa007, the "duke nukem 3D" text is a bit dark in places, but otherwise I like it.

I wonder if we could have two threads about this, one for just ONLY submitting and one to commend. This would give fans (me) the option to comment on things without interrupting the flood of artwork here. Again just a thought :)

Somebody voted me down for the story I wrote. Normally I wouldn't care about it, but I spent many hours late into the night writing that, and I consider it very offensive that somebody would look down upon that effort in such a way. Personally I think it's a good story too.

To that person: You should be ashamed of yourself. I challenge you to write a better story. If you can't, then don't down vote other people's work.

Nothing more pathetic than somebody trying to piss on someones creative effort, like it or not you deserve a bit of respect for throwing your hat into the ring.