Josh Osborne

Appalachian State University

Lessons Learned: A Story of Past Relationships

I have loved and lost many times before. I’ve gotten into toxic relationships and luckily gotten out of them, I have dated girls I wouldn’t normally date for the experience, and I’ve had girls that were fun and amazing, but for whatever reason, didn’t work out. Here is some of the lessons learned. Hopefully, you can learn from my failings.

1. Be a leader. As a man, you are to be a leader. In your relationships, in life, and in your family, be a leader. If your family unit has weak leadership, just like any team, it will be weak. It is your job to set standards, know your limits, and build trust.

2. Be confident. Know what you want and follow through. Make a decision and stick with it.

3. Don’t be too proud. Love is about compromise. Never be to proud to make reasonable compromises with your partner.

4. Know what you are getting into in the beginning. Relationship aren’t something that you just do because you are bored or having nothing better to do. Relationships take work. Real people can get hurt if things go badly. Know what you are signing up for in the beginning. Know your boundaries and set those boundaries early on. If a girl is mature, either you accept that and work with it, or you don’t, have the personal courage to act accordingly.

5. Trust. Any team and any relationship needs trust. Building trust is a long process. It takes a while to build, and can take a moment to destroy. Safeguarding trust is paramount in any relationship. Once trust is destroyed, it may never be rebuilt, so if you care about the relationship, do what you can to keep trust alive.

6. Honesty. Honesty helps build trust. It is much easier to trust people that are open and honest about their intentions.

7. Open Communication. Open communication helps build trust. It also allows your partner to know what is going on. Closed communication implies a lack of trust or shadiness. Open communication allows partners to work through whatever problems may arise as a team.

8. Loyalty. This is paramount. Life comes with temptations. If you find that you will cheat, maybe you aren’t right for the relationship.

9. Take care of yourself. This is as true in relationships as it is as true in leadership and life in general. How can you leads others if yourself is not squared away. How can you love another if your needs aren’t being met? If you are to love others and to care for others, you first need to care for yourself.