Retrosexual

Please allow me to vent. I have had it. I've taken all I can stand and I
can't stand no more. Every time my TV is on, all that can be seen is
effeminate men prancing about, redecorating houses and talking about
foreign concepts like "style" and "feng shui." Heterosexual, homosexual,
bisexual, transsexual, metrosexual, non-sexual; blue, green, and
purple-sexual - bogus definitions have taken over the urban and suburban
world!

Real men of the world, stand up, and yell "ENOUGH!" I hereby announce the
start of a new offensive in the culture Wars, the Retrosexual movement. "

The Code :

A Retrosexual man, no matter what the women insists, PAYS FOR THE DATE.

A Retrosexual man opens doors for a lady. Even for the ones that fit that
term only because they are female.

A Retrosexual DEALS with IT, be it a flat tire, break-in into your home, or
a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT.

A Retrosexual not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself.

A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you
live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still smoking cigars and
drinking, I salute you. If you are still having sex, you are a God.

A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman. Women
have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals need an endcap
(possibly 2 endcaps if you include shaving goods.)

A Retrosexual does not dress in clothes from Hot Topic when he's 30 years
old.

A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff
(or people) if need be. This falls under the "Dealing with IT" portion of
The Code.

A Retrosexual watches no TV show with "Queer" in the title.

A Retrosexual does not let neighbors screw up rooms in his house on
national TV.

A Retrosexual should not give up excessive amounts of manliness for women.
Some is inevitable, but major reinvention of yourself will only lead to you
becoming a froo-froo little puss, and in the long run, she ain't worth it.

A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major mental stress
such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak
treechipper accident, favorite sports team being moved to a different city,
favorite bird dog expiring, etc. You are NOT allowed to see a shrink
because Daddy didn't pay you enough attention. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH
IT. When you screwed up, he DEALT with you.

A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed to
conceal himself from prey.

A Retrosexual knows how to tie a Windsor knot when wearing a tie -- and
ONLY a Windsor knot.

A Retrosexual should have at least one good wound he can brag about
getting.

A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't hammer a
nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you can -- or be
rightfully ridiculed for the wuss you be.

A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are riddled
with fear, guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEAL WITH IT. Plus
it's just plain fun to fire one off in the direction of those people or
things that just need a little "wakin' up".

Crying. There are very few reason that a Retrosexual may cry, and none of
them have to do with TV commercials, movies, or soap operas. Sports teams
are sometimes a reason to cry, but the preferred method of release is
swearing or throwing the remote control. Some reasons a Retrosexual can cry
include (but are not limited to) death of a loved one, death of a pet (fish
do NOT count as pets in this case), loss of a major body part, or loss of
major body part on your Ford truck.

When a Retrosexual is on a crowded bus and or a commuter train, and a
pregnant woman, heck, any woman gets on, that retrosexual stands up and
offers his seat to that woman, then looks around at the other so-called men
still in their seats with a disgusted "you punks" look on his face.

A Retrosexual knows how to say the Pledge properly, and with the correct
emphasis and pronunciation. He also knows the words to the Star Spangled
Banner

A Retrosexual will have hobbies and habits his wife and mother do not
understand, but that are essential to his manliness, in that they offset
the acceptable manliness decline he suffers when married/engaged or in a
serious healthy relationship - i.e., hunting, boxing, shot putting,
shooting, cigars, car maintenance.

A Retrosexual knows how to sharpen his own knives and kitchen utensils.

A Retrosexual man can drive in snow (hell, a blizzard) without sliding all
over or driving under 20mph, without anxiety, and without high-centering
his ride in a snow bank.

A Retrosexual man can chop down a tree and make it land where he wants.
Wherever it lands is where he damn well wanted it to land. Except on his
truck--that would happen because of a "force of nature", and then the
retrosexual man's options are to Cry, or to DEAL with IT, or do both.

A Retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women but any
elderly person or person in military dress (except 2nd Lt's) NOTE: The
person in military dress may turn down the offer but the Retrosexual man
will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them for serving their
country.

A Retrosexual man doesn't need a contract -- a handshake is good enough. He
will always stand by his word even if circumstances change or the other
person deceived him.

A Retrosexual man doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he does
something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes in the
process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT !

I have just started riding the bus to school. It is amazing to me. No one gets up for anyone. People won't even move their backpacks for someone to sit down. They do everything they can to not make eye contact with someone they should move for.

An elderly lady got on my bus Monday. I was standing and there was a seat near me with a 20 something guy's backpack on it. I picked it up, handed it to him, and showed the seat to the lady. She was amazed. The guy looked like he wanted to start a fight. I ignored the punk.

There is nothing wrong with being a gentleman. I just think there aren't enough. Ditto for Ladies too.

Now the article does have some comedic parts to it but overall it makes a good point.

For you single guys if you want to meet Ladies, not girls or hoes but Ladies you had better be at least know how to be a gentleman. It does make a difference to her. Or else you'll only be dating little girls and hoes (regardless of age, your's or her's).

Yea, if you ask someone out then you pay. If she asks you then expects you to pay, then that's a bit weird. I don't see the problem with the guy-ask-girl tradition - you ask someone out if you want to go with them, and if you don't care enough to pay, then don't ask. But that's a pretty cold way of looking at it.

And if one party asks and tells the other that they need to pay their way, then they both pay. In my experience most girls don't react well to this... leeches.

Click to expand...

If you're both friends that enjoy doing stuff then normally you cover your own costs.

If you're asking someone out you obviously "want" them, at that point they don't "want" you yet. The whole point of a date is to sell yourself to the girl and make her "want" you. You don't do that by making her pay for herself; that suggests arrogance, like you're doing her a favor by letting her go out with you.

Ultimately we are talking about fluid exchange, are we not? I happen to be awesome in bed so they are going to enjoy me at least as much as I them. They can't get money and sex for free... something has got to give.

If a man and woman enjoy eachother equally it is logical for them to split the costs associated with that enjoyment. SUBMIT TO TEH LOGIC