My Past Eats Me Alive

Asked by justrifka on 2018-05-8 with 1 answer:

I have a problem. More than two years I was doing a bad habit that not only hurt me, but also hurt others. At the time I wasnt aware that the thing I was doing was wrong. but now I am a little older, and I regret deeply what I did in the past. I am not a bad person, but I know in the future when people find out that I done what I did, they will loose trust in me, and I never want to be considered as a hypocrite. I am very trusted in my family, but the past eats me alive. I dont know what to do. I am however a good person. on top of that I have been suffering from depression, please tell me what to do to move on. As far as depression, ill have to deal with it. I truely want to move on, I really do. There is many things that I want to do to better myself, but whenever I think about past, I feel like my accomplishments will go to waste because of my past. Now I have nothing. I feel horrible. What should I do?

Perhaps I could have provided a more thorough answer if you would have included what you did that you thought was so wrong. It’s possible that you are overreacting and what you did isn’t as bad as you are making it out to be but without those details, I can only speculate.

You said that “at the time, I was unaware that the thing I was doing was wrong but now I am a little older, I deeply regret what I did in the past.”

What you are essentially saying is this: “I wasn’t aware that what I was doing was wrong and if I would have known, I would not have done it.”

You didn’t know any better but as soon as you did, you felt regret. That is a sign of your growth and maturity.

No one is mistake free. Of course, we should always strive to make as few mistakes as possible, because they can hurt us or others, but everyone makes mistakes.

What you did in the past is the past. It can’t be changed and it should have no bearing on your future. That is the most rational way to think about your issue.

If you would like to write back and provide more information about what it is that you thought was so wrong, I may be able to provide you with a more complete answer. Please take care.

Related Articles

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and Assistant Professor of Social Work and Forensics with extensive experience in the field of mental health. She works in private practice with adults, adolescents and families. Kristina has worked in a large array of settings including community mental health, college counseling and university research centers.