Q: For the last eight months I have been dating a single dad with two teen-age daughters. He raised them by himself for the last 10 years and chose not to date anyone during that time. I am his first steady girlfriend. I also have a 13-year-old daughter. While we all get along, his girls say ugly and hateful things about me to him. This is so stressful we broke up for two months so he could try to figure things out. We would like to start dating again. What can I do to make the girls want to know me, or at least like me?

A: You can't change other people; you can only change yourself, the Help for Families panel says. They question the strength of your relationship, if this man stopped seeing because of this.

"This is an issue for the guy and his daughters," says panelist Bill Vogler. "You do more damage if you try to control things. Give him the message to deal with his kids."

These girls have been the primary focus in their father's life and don't want that to change.

"They are manipulating their father to keep him to themselves," says panelist Joanne Nigito-Raftas. "They've had their dad to themselves and are protecting their territory. What is it about the relationship that you are trying to hold on to? The two of you are not communicating and you need to be role models for these girls."

She says it's a serious concern that you broke up because of the girls.

"You need to stay the course in the relationship and be unified when dealing with the children," she says. "You all need a lesson in healthy limits. The harder you push the kids to like you, the worse it will be because the kids have the power."

Panelist Marcie Lightwood agrees, and adds the teen years are a difficult age to introduce a relationship.

"You reinforced the girls' power when you broke up," she says. "You have to figure out how to have a good relationship."

Nigito-Raftas says you need to have time together as a couple that doesn't involve the kids, and work on your relationship.

"If your goal is to get married, this will not be an easy marriage," she says.

If you want this relationship to succeed you need to go full force, says panelist Michelle Forkin.

"You've already sent the message, "We're not sure about this,' " she says. "If you can work together, the children will fall into place."

Panelist Rochelle Freedman suggests the girls may be clinging to their dad because they don't have a strong enough relationship with their father.

"Have him spend time with his daughters and take them out," she says. "The resentment also may have to do with the girls' biological mother."

Also be aware your boyfriend may be using his daughters as an excuse because he is unsure, says Vogler. You need to talk with him.

"If you decide to continue in the relationship, remember you always will be a supporting character in these kids' lives," she says. "Consider what kind of person you are presenting to them, and think about how they will talk about you when they are grown."