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June 08, 2007

Where Does My Time Go? or Does This Count As Wasting Time?

Whoa oh, what I want to know is Where does the time go? - Uncle John's Band, The Grateful Dead

I had a great post planned for this topic. All about the things that suck up my time like preparing and cleaning up meals, sweeping the floor, putting things away, and doing laundry. About annoying shit like incompetent township employees and when baby sitters don't show up. About what I should be doing with my time like getting a job, cleaning the house, organizing the office, sorting the clothes in the kid's closet (yeah, I know, they don't need sweaters anymore), being more of an SPD advocate, and looking at web sites like Light Iris which claim they will help me make better use of my time.

About the evolution of my time management from the straight-A high school student who ridiculously scheduled every ten minutes of my day. To the over-achieving collegiate who felt guilty lounging around watching TV when I could be studying. Morphing into the young professional who, as a consultant, used to turn in a time sheet with
details of every minute of my day, joking about where
to bill the 2 hour discussion we had about so-and-so's failed
relationship. To the mom I've become who is always running behind, promising to get done
something I should have ages ago. This has gotten considerably
worse as I had one child and then another.

About how infuriating it is to have my husband come home and say, "What did you do all day?" To which my friends have offered the replay, "Well, the children are alive and I did manage to get to Target to buy the toilet paper that wipes your ass!" And I start to wonder myself, what exactly did I do? Changed diapers, listened to complaints, broke up sibling squabbles, picked up dog poop outside, answered questions about what place the Phillies are in or why, if death is bad, that people are always talking about it. Doing those things and more along with all the regular stuff.

About what I wish I was doing like watching one of the 50 or so Oprah episodes I have TiVo'd, going out on a date with my husband, or playing with my children. Reading my current book group selection, taking up drawing again, finishing (I mean starting) the kids scrap books, and redoing the 3 year old photo board. Or even what I am really doing which is obsessively checking my blog stats and trying to win a pass from the Parent Bloggers Network to the BlogHer 2007 conference.

But what I've decided to write about is what I've been doing lately, which is read blogs and, more specifically, follow Duckiegate.

This started innocently enough. A post by Motherhood Uncensored about her daughter's accidental theft of one little stuffed duck that has blown up into a large debate and blog linking bonanza. I have been following the coverage with an outsider's eye, keeping myself above the lure of posting my own thoughts.

Which are actually mixed on this. On the one hand I would never have woken up my sleeping child to return the duck as some people have claimed they would do. But on the other hand, I would have felt guilty about keeping it and especially about using my stolen (even if accidental) property to make a profit. I wonder if the GAP gets a kick back on any "Keep the Duck" products sold. This presumes, of course, that no one would actually buy the "Return the Duck" t-shirt unless they were too stupid to realize they were actually supporting the whole thing.

Kristen's children are so young they have no idea about the ethics of stealing. I guess I might have reminded the older child that she cannot take anything from a store, but more than that, you're wasting your breath. It is down right ridiculous that people are getting all high and mighty that this is an indication of the downfall of our society. Maybe Kristen has a reputation for being immoral, she does write a sex column (gasp!) after all, and post things like this.

When Scott was around 4 years old he walked out of Target with a candy bar in his hand. It was deliberately stolen and he guiltily showed it to me as we were getting in the car. I took him back in the store but spared him any discussion with an employee because he was so terrified. I am sure he thought he would get sent to jail immediately and never see his home again. We did not discuss this incident with Jane, who was only one at the time. I think that needs no explanation.

We've also damaged items at the grocery store, accidentally, of course. Dropped fruit or stomped on items that were already on the floor. One time when Scott was a baby I let him hold the yellow items, bananas and a cereal box. He chewed through both. And Janie reached behind her and grabbed a carton of eggs, which oozed all over the contents of our cart and the floor. I never paid for these damaged goods, figuring that that was the price of having moms who shop. I drop over $100 weekly there, I think I am entitled to a few slip ups. Accidents happen and they write off the loss anyway.

What I find most intriguing about the whole duck thing is that so many people are spending their time on it. Tons of comments, plenty of links, discussions all over the place. A blogging field day of sorts. Is this a good way for people to spend their time? Is it any different than the water cooler discussions just held on the blogosphere in witty, sarcastic glory?

I love the blogging forum for discussion from anyone out there who has an internet connection. If you want to talk about stolen ducks you can, no matter who you are. And no one knows what you are doing, so far be it for anyone to decide if you should be doing something else with your time. But, what if all these people were doing something else instead of linking and lurking around? I'm sure a time management professional would not approve.

And how do the bloggers find time to blog anyway? Don't they have little kids? I am finding myself sneaking into our office several times a day just to check my blog for comments. I have so much to write about that I don't think I'd run out of ideas even if I could blog all day long. See, I need to go to the conference to figure out how people fit blogging in with their life. And blog reading. Because I can't quite keep up.

But life is not all about deadlines and to do lists as we all know. It is about wasting time here and there on things that make you think or just laugh. So if I am judged by the company I keep, I am glad to be reading the likes of such clever, thoughtful, controversial, insightful, and just plain old hysterical bloggers (those links are just a few examples!).

As the Judybats say,

"And good tasteAnd a taste for wasting timeI love you wasting mineYou fill the empty hours just fine"

I know I'm taking the lyrics out of context, I'm not in love with these bloggers. But you get the idea. As in, go ahead, waste my time, it's fine!

So the question remains as to whether this Duckiegate following is a waste of my time. It is entertaining, sure, and I dig a good discussion about what is right and wrong. But really, all this coverage about it? Am I guilty for engaging in it or is it good research for a novice blogger who wants nothing more than to write something that gets so much attention? And if, by writing about it, I get to win a pass to BlogHer 2007, then, well, wasn't it worth my time?

And if I don't win the contest, can I at least get some credit for such blatant, shameless ass-kissing?

Note: And now I feel guilty after reading mothergousemouse's post about her daughter's possible need for Early Intervention and whether she has lost time by not getting her help earlier, which is really what I understand and probably what I should have written about! Look for a post about that soon, when I find the time.

Comments

Late nights and the "edit time stamp" option are my friends. Sometimes I'll write a few posts at once and set them to "drip" over the course of several days to try and keep things fresh. (Although, like a lot of people, I don't always succeed in that goal, lol)

Lori-
You don't know how much I wish I could go to the BlogHer thing w/you in Chicago! BTW, Emma stole a stuffed beanie frog from my best friend's baby and also a keychain from the drugstore next to the BonTon. I made her fess up and return to both rightful owners. I still carry her guilty "I'm sorry" notes scribed in toddler scroll. Too cute!

mothergoosemouse - Thanks for commenting! As for being scared off, on the contrary, you had me at Duckiegate. I'm making my BogHer reservations now.

Dee - I know that someone looked but I don't know who, unless they came from a place that links to the blog. I wish I knew who was lurking so I could bust on them for not commenting! I think it is wise not to start reading about the Duck - you may find yourself losing more time than you care to!

Do your blog stats show how many times people like me check your blog for something new? :) It's my entertainment since I don't really make time for TV. I'm sorry, but I am not even going to enter the Duck debate. My children are tearing up the TV room as I speak.