Faced with 2 bad choices I picked the one I thought God would get behind and believed he would help me and things worked out (after much angry determination and struggle!) To do things again, I would not have waited until I was one big angry pile of resentment to start changing my situation 😀

Thank you for answering this, Marie! I had something happen this weekend that was really frustrating (and pretty crappy) and I couldn’t quite figure out what to do about it–nothing felt like a good idea. But there was definitely something right about the situation. Shifting my perspective did open up different options than I’d started with–I’m still not quite sure which one I’m going to pick (they all seem like good ideas, and I don’t have time to pursue all of them), but just finding what was right feels so much better than focusing on why the whole thing sucked.

Awww, thanks you two! It was definitely a nice experience to feel so done with the whole, “Why is this happening to me?” funk that I did indulge in for a few hours and to pop straight into seeing why this was the best possible outcome and that I get to decide what I want to do next.

“Adversity is an unscheduled appointment that will test your resilience.
But, with the right attitude, you will be able to overcome the situation and gain valuable wisdom for future unscheduled appointments.”~ Sam Glenn~ A Kick In The Attitude!
(I have found this book to be a great deal of help).

Hi Marie, Thanks so much for this reminder! I strongly believe we can change our lives by what we say to ourselves (our inner dialogue). This reminder is SO true. I always provide my cleanse clients with plenty of mindset management exercises to keep the gratitude and positivity flowing for this very reason.
Sincerely,
Sarah

I love this! I find that most people get stuck on lamenting and blaming things they can’t change instead of thinking consciously about what they can change and what they can’t, and putting some perspective so they realize things aren’t half as bad. I’ve gone through a lot of tough times, and what kept me going is telling myself “what’s done is done, I just have to do my best going forward”. Thanks for sharing these steps, Robyn!

Ha ha! Thank you Robyn! I too am quick to make decisions in crappy situations. Often resulting in making a crappy situation more crappy! I like your check list, I will incorporate it before jumping the gun on the decisions next time. Well, I’ll try 😉 This is a great, quick video! Thanks!!

Yes! I know a wise man who says “every problem is a problem of perception”. This feels so hard to swallow when the sh#t in a sh#tty situation seems so real. But willingness to see and act on whatever opportunities are inherent in the circumstances can yield major gifts. Even just moving forward is enough when you’re stuck in the swamp of inertia right? Thanks for this wonderful video. Marie and team are the bomb fo sho 😉

I strongly believe in the power of gratitude. I start everyday with mirror work, which is doing affirmations in the mirror. I search for things to be grateful for with the things that I think are sucky and say them out loud.

For example, at one point I was feeling really undervalued at my job. This made me feel angry, but I didn’t want to go into work feeling that way, so every morning during my mirror work exercise, I would say the reasons that I am grateful for my job: I’m grateful for the cool people that I work with, grateful for the places that I have been able to see through my job, grateful for the money that they pay me, which I am able to use to pay my bills and fund my business ventures, and so on. This made it so easy for me to walk into to work with a smile. It also made my next steps clearer. I recognized that my job is a stepping stone, not the landing and that helped the feeling go away.

I recommend it to all of you: start your day with gratitude even for the things that are sucky and then they won’t feel so sucky anymore. Thanks for the video, Marie!

Ms. Pillowz, I loved your thoughts on feeling undervalued at work! That’s how I’ve been feeling lately, so I emailed your gratitude reminders to myself. Just deciding to have a positive attitude has already freed me from some negative thoughts I was caught up in this morning!

Marie, thanks as always! Glad you mentioned Somaly Mam as well, as maybe you will have introduced some of your audience to her and her amazing work! <3

“There is nothing more crappy than the option you’re choosing right now, which is beating yourself up and doing NOTHING to move ahead. Action is Magic.”

Love that, Marie! I HAVE had some of those “crappy situations,” and by using mindfulness and loving affirmations I’ve learned to pay attention to my negative self-talk and choose better feeling thoughts about myself and my situations. Magically, things have begun to shift for me and my family.

Thanks Marie!
As a perfectionist who has been known to find something crappy in any situation, even ones that should be enjoyable, I have a tool that I keep in my back pocket for the times when I’m getting pulled into an “everything sucks” sink hole.

It’s called three things! When I find myself traveling down that road of frustration or regret I stop and ask myself to name three things that I like or appreciate about the situation/person/place in that moment.

If I am the target of this toxic attitude, I stop and name three things that I accomplished that day. If it’s a crappy day those things might be, 1. got out of bed, 2. took a shower, 3. called a friend for support.

If it’s really difficult to see what’s right in the situation, I stop and name three things that I feel grateful for in general.

These don’t have to be big things they can be super small but I find it so helpful in shifting my attitude and widening my perspective.

I find I get tunnel vision when I’m only seeing what’s wrong and when I do three things, my perspective becomes more peripheral and often I can see an option that wasn’t available before.

Cecilia, I love this. I found that same practice very helpful as well. I also find that it works for many couples (including for me in my marriage) to stop during an argument and ask, what am I grateful for in my partner/spouse? What do I love about them? It’s pretty tough to shift my perspective, but once I make that shift, it changes everything.

I was thinking the same thing Laura! I do this whenever I find myself frustrated with my guy or the situation. I stop and ask myself “what do I love about him/situation” and remember to come from that place moving forward. I love this episode!

Thanks Marie. I like to believe that we always have options. For me, the challenge has been “How do I step out of myself or my paradigm so that I can see that possible solution that I can’t see right now?”

Mindset is EVERYTHING ’tis why even as a coach I work with 2 coaches for my dose of spiritual smack down LOL!

A simple shift can sometimes make a huge difference and THEN we can take action from a new, fresh (less emotionally charged) perspective.

Personally, when I need a shift in perspective I take a moment to get connect to my Wise Inner Goddess. This is what I teach my clients and frankly, it’s magical. Takes courage, yes, but the miracles are worth it.

Love this use of magical, and I agree, it really is like the mist lifts off something right before your eyes and you can see your clear path laid ahead.

When so much of our daily inner monologue is filled with negative beliefs or telling ourselves what we can’t do, it takes a lot of effort to channel those thoughts into what’s possible and completely within our reach to achieve.

Mastering your mindset takes time and effort and it’s so well worth it. I bet your clients are loving your guidance Caroline and your work is equally rewarding for you, as it is for me and my clients and community.

As a coach myself, I have worked with and will continue to work with coaches who have a different, more spiritual mindset than my very practical and visionary based one, so that I can grow from this and expand into areas I’d not seen before myself.

Marie, This months AARP magazine features Michael J Fox. He was diagnosed with Parkinsons at the age of 30. One day he and his wife were talking about his 20 years living with Parkinsons and they thought about many of their friends who have died during that same time.
They came to the conclusion that given a choice, their friends would most likely love to be living with Parkinsons. It’s all in the attitude! Thanks!

Great example Steve! Every time I see Michael J Fox on a television show or in a magazine, I’m always blown away by his positive outlook and all the work he’s doing to help others take on a new perspective.

Wow! I SO needed this video today. I’ve been having a personal pity party for the last few weeks and this video really put things into perspective. Love the advice in the comments about gratitude. Thanks for the inspiration Marie and everyone!

A few years back, I had a severe health challenge. After that, nothing seems crappy, everything seems pretty great. It’s great just being here. BUT (and it’s a big butt what a GREAT reminder this video was that we get to choose how to react to every situation. Thanks for your humor and upbeat view on life.

I loved her dress too! I´ve had some crappy situations at work which at the time seemed really bad – now I realize that these times teach me and re-focus me on what I really want/need and also allow me to be humble to the fact that I don´t always recognize when I need to make a change, but the universe is always there reminding me! Thanks, gracias!

Our own “bad life” is always going to seem worse that everyone else’s because we are living and FEELING it. In reality, everyone has issues and no one’s life is perfect (despite appearances).

I agree, it is important to not focus on what we think is bad and start moving toward what is good. A great place to start when you are in that “bad” mindset is to imagine the worst case scenario… that is the one to start moving away from and build on what is positive in the other options.

Someone told me to “plan for the worst and expect the best.” It has worked for me, maybe it can help someone else too.

I just wrote about a similar topic. Our perceptions shape so much about what our lives turn out to look like. Sometimes everything sucks and we can’t move forward because we’re not SUPPOSED to be moving forward. Sometimes, everything sucks because of the way we look at them.

If you fall into a well, you can bitch about how wet it is, or you can start climbing those slimy walls. Yep, you’ll be mucky and yucky when you get out of the well, but you’ll be out of the well!

I agree. When things aren’t where I want them to be, it’s usually because I remember a time when they WERE, so I have an expectation that they should be now. Often, if I just go back in my mind to that time when things were “right” I can look and see what was different and determine what I need to change now to see more of that success in the present.

Hey, Marie, this was a great topic. And, an awesome response to your reader’s question. I remember hearing early on that “it’s not what happens to you, it’s what you do with it that counts.” I’ve always been an overly optimistic person. Often find myself in conversation with family and friends who immediately start finding all the reasons why my idea won’t work or why I should be afraid of putting myself “out there.”

I finally just took the leap (after planning, of course!) and now I’m doing work I love. Thanks for the great content you publish–you are an inspiration!

Beautiful reminder today – and especially loved hearing about Somaly Mam – she is such an amazing woman!

I find the best thing for me when faced with a tough decision or situation is just to plow ahead and take action. Rip off the bandaid! Once its done, I can stop worrying about it – or just move on. If I don’t, I end up like situation #1 Marie lists – I ignore it.. and hope it will go away.. which it never does!

It’s all about perception and moving forward. Sometimes, a situation is crappy all the way, but you can choose to dwell on it or put it in the “experience and wisdom” bag, learn from it, and let it go. At the end of the day, we choose to be happy or unhappy with our situation. It’s always a choice.

Thanks Marie, Perfect timing with this.
Maybe not what what we want to hear but essential.
When we really see things in perspective, how many of us actually have it that bad? We are after all online and able to listen to you which means we are already in a comparatively privileged position compared to many others.
I reckon we could always do with attitude adjustment!

As always, just what I needed to hear this morning. Was sitting here at my desk getting mad at myself for not being able to move forward on a project. Now putting on a new attitude shirt and getting things done!

I currently find myself in what could be considered a crappy situation. In late February, I was laid off from my job abroad with barely a month’s notice. I had no choice but to come home and live with my parents with no job or plan in sight. The career path I was on wasn’t working, so I need to change paths.

I am actually so, so grateful for this wake up call. Had I kept my job there, I would still be working in a field that isn’t really right for me for maybe years to come. I was forced to come back home and deeply think about what I want to do next, and shift directions. Now I have a plan to go back to school for a career that I feel is perfect for me.

All this free time and rest time has been great. I’ve started a blog, wrote a novel for CampNaNoWriMo, and got back into painting and art journaling. I’ve started running again, I’ve brushed up on a foreign language, and I’ve had lots of quality family time. My positive attitude is what is helping me from sink into depression, exactly like you were talking about. It really makes all the difference.

Marie, love you but you don’t help a person by showing them how hard others have it. It like saying to someone who’s mother died, “she’s in a better place”. That logic just doesn’t help the person in distress.

Angel- That’s not what she is saying. She is saying to look for the inspiration that can be found in those who have also faced challenges and overcome them. My business is built on my mission to help women re-find their light, joy and identity after pregnancy or baby loss. I did this, not by telling myself platitudes like my babies are in a better place (my twins were stillborn at six months) or by looking at people who had bigger or more difficult losses than I did and telling myself mine is not that bad. I did it by looking towards those who have suffered through loss and found light on the other side. Those who were empowered and strengthened by their struggles and grief. Women who showed me that there is a path and potential for healing in a powerful way that honors our struggles, and doesn’t minimize or negate them.
Kudos Marie- this video found me on a day when I truly needed to hear this message…

Tova Gold love your words of wisdom. No matter the situation am always positive, at least I try or even force myself. I refuse! to be negative. We all have our bad days or find ourselves in sucky situations. But somehow always try hard to dust yourself up and keep going. I know easier said than done. But Vital! Look up to whatever greater being you believe in and say to yourself, I cannot do this alone Lord, only you can place that light and clarity in my path for me and for people on this earth. We are not always strong and know what to do, but we must always strive to find a way.

Wow, my mom and I, both small business owners, had a similar conversation yesterday. The conclusion we came to? If you look for reasons not to operate a business, you will always find them. Contrarily, silver linings are everywhere :).

So very true! This also applies to just about everything, not just running a business. If you really want to, you can find an excuse not to harbor friendships, get married, stay in touch with family, everything! What’s important is realizing that the benefits of pushing forward far exceed giving into the negatives.

You ladies speak my language It’s always easier to find an excuse and a reason to not do something than it is to step out of your comfort zone and do it. But stepping out of our comfort zone and looking for the best in every situation is the only thing that helps us grow to utilize our full potential.

I’ve been thinking about that just today, ladies. I just interviewed a Roma (minority known as gypsy) activist. So many women go through terrible things and still manage to survive and thrive. That’s incredible!
Thank you for this episode, Marie.

Thank you! I really needed this today. I have been so overwhelmed…so many things are going on right now and I can’t seem to move forward. Action is magic! YES! And I loved, loved, loved, “A positive attitude is a choice and if you make that choice enough it becomes a habit”
Like they say on The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel “Everything will be all right in the end, if its not all right…it is not the end!”

When I have a “baditude” as our friend Gabby Bernstein would call it, I do Thich Nhat Hanh’s walking meditation or I’ve used this technique for years that I love telling others about:

On a small piece of paper write whatever it is that’s weighing heavy on your mind, and the negative and fear-based thoughts you’re experiencing. Burn the piece of paper on a stone (or you can use something else that won’t catch fire) and watch whatever it was that was holding you in a negative thought pattern go UP IN SMOKE. It’s a great way to shift your mindset and let go of what’s weighing you down.

Absolutely. And you’re totally right, the more you do it, the more it becomes a habit and the easier and faster it goes. At first, it took me a few minutes to start actually feeling my worries fall away, not it’s so much easier, and it actually works!

Thanks for the suggestion, Natalie! I love this idea. I usually try to visualize 7-up bubbles making their way to the surface and popping, but I could see how even just taking the tiny steps necessary to create this exercise would very quickly shift my attention to something else. Something more purposeful:) Love it!

That is such a cute idea, Deana! I have to try that sometime… Another thing that works for me is writing them down on a mental blackboard and erasing them with a sponge. Though I bet the bubbles would be more fun!

Hi Marie, I lost my father when I was 15 years old. I learned very quickly the attitude I chose to live with the rest of my life with would be my reality. I felt very grateful that I had a mother that loved and protected us and did all she could to go on, that was enough for me. She was the strongest woman I ever knew. At the time I also had a 4 year old brother to help take care of and my mother showed me what it really took to live a grateful, self sufficient life. I could have easily become a victim, and felt the world owed me . That’s not who I am. There is always a shred of the positive in every challenge or ” crappy situation”!!!! Thanks for your light Marie, your the funniest ever!!!!

Yeah…I had a pretty lousy month. Lost my Gma, 2 car accidents, etc. But I KNEW with every negativ there was a positive or 2 in there! So I took extra time to snuggle with my new nephew, and bathed in the joy my bestie had flowing out of her on her wedding day. I think the bad just made the good times all the more special! I’m also gearing to launch a HUGE program in my business in less than 30 days…so that excitement keeps me going. There is NO reason not to stay positive! <3

I’m in one of those craptastic and totally unexpected situations right now. Last Wednesday, my husband announced, in a Facebook message while I was at work, that he was moving to another state for a job.

~head->desk~

And that he was moving next week.

~head->desk~

And then on Saturday, he found out that it wasn’t next week, it was the next day.

~head->desk~

So Sunday, we drove him down to his aunt’s house where he’s staying until he can get himself situated down there.

And I came back home to an empty house, because I have a good job here, and can’t go down there until he is completely situated.

Ugh… ugh… ugh…

But I am making the best of it. I’ve been wanting to build my own business so I can get out of this office, and this is HUGE, HUGE, HUGE incentive to do that. I need a mobile business, something I can do anywhere, because the last two nights without him SUCKED!!!

I know what you feel like. I’ve been in that place. Stuck, like “I just NEED to get out of here ASAP and do what I want to do!”

But you have time. And maybe, like Marie is saying, it’s also time to look for the blessing in this situation. What is this bringing you? How can you take advantage of this situation right now? What can you do to bring your emotions down?

Ask yourself how you want to feel about this. It’s going to take a while until you can make that transition happen, and while you’re going through it, I’m guessing you want to feel calm and centered so you can be productive and do your best work (and get moving as quickly as you can). It doesn’t seem to me like you can do that from the place you’re in right now.

So, think of how you want to feel about it. Then think of what you can do to make that happen. As a fellow married woman, I know that the intimacy of always having your husband there can become so addictive. And yet, sometimes I just want some time for myself. Well, this is your chance to take time for yourself, get back in touch with your inner wisdom and higher self, and love yourself a lot.

This can’t be easy for your husband either. Finding your place of centeredness (if that’s even a word) in this chaos can be one of the biggest things you do through this transition, and so important to your success. 😉

And it is hard for him as well. We’ve talked frequently since he left, but it’s not quite the same, and the intimacy is something I’m craving right now, even though I just said, “See you soon,” to him two days ago!

But I’m embracing the freedom this gives me to do what I want to do for awhile without obligation. If I’m in a cranky mood, I can go home and curl up in a blanket and watch what I want to watch, instead of having to smile when I just want to scream LOL

And it gives him time to fix what he needs to fix so we can make it work, because we’ve been struggling a lot lately. He’s determined, and it makes me fall in love with him all over again to see how determined to make things right he is!

This is a gift, when I came to this moment in my own life in 2006 God gave me the grace to have this shift and it overtook me. I see everything as being beautiful and now I write about it @TheGeniusofLove
I purpose to live every moment from a place of gratitude because as it said on the package I received from @sevenly yesterday “someone somewhere today is praying for what you have” we are blessed beyond measure.

Marie- I love you and usually your advice is spot on but today’s video just did not land for me! When I am in that “stuck place” and hear of other people overcoming way more adverse situations than I , it just makes me feel worse and beat myself up even more. Anyone else play that awful game?

There’s is a great tool I learned , similar to “painting your picture” where you access your left and right brain, stimulating parts of yourself that the incessant “un-decision making process” is inevitably neglecting. My quick tip , draw , journal and collage the options. You see the space open up and voila, possibilities that you were unable to see.

That’s very interesting, Jan. I can definitely see where you’re coming from. I’ve done that too, beating myself up when I hear of someone else having done something amazing because I just can’t get off my butt and my situation isn’t even half as bad!

Maybe different people have different ways to deal with it… maybe some are fueled by how much they hate their situation, and others open up only by accepting it and seeing the best in it. For myself, I have found that I can use my discomfort in a situation to find the best ways to get out of it, but I have to do what Marie says and look for the best in where I am right now in order to be able to stay there until I can make a change. Journaling does help a lot!

This was awesome. Love the tweetable and I so admire Maya Angelou so much wisdom.

I have learned there are 3 things I can do: Remove it, Change it, or Accept it. Whatever choice I make it was one I made and you are so right we have the choice to think in the positive or to stay in our own private hell.

Today, I am choosing to stay positive and grateful for all the lessons and opportunities that I have had in my life and those I still have yet to learn:)

This is sooo friggin true- it’s all about having an attitude of gratitude! For the past month (huzzah!) I’ve been starting my day with a run and doing the Tony Robbins Daily Magic- which is all about really experiencing gratitude for everything I’ve got in my life- tapping into what I have, what’s right is a great way to take on what’s not working, what I want to change.

I’ve become a master at turning lemons into lemonade. In one 12 month period back in 2004 I closed my restaurant after 10 years; got a divorce; my mother passed away and my house burned down. Yep…really! But because I made the decision that I live in a friendly Universe as opposed to a random Universe, I knew that these events had a purpose – a friendly, supportive one. I could choose to be a victim…or get up.

I went on to promote my book (which was released the same month my restaurant closed); be a support and anchor to my family; maintain a loving relationship with my ex; and had the opportunity to design and build the home of my dreams and later the business of my dreams.

No matter what happens, if you can surrender your sucky situations to a power higher than yourself…which is part of YOURSELF…you never have to worry about the outcome. It will always be good regardless of what it looks like in the present moment.

SO – my crappy situation was this: marriage fell apart just before birth of first baby (IVF). I lost my home, fantastic career (I had been working with ex-husband in v small specialised area for 10 years and was doing well but this became untenable) and was left literally holding the baby. Took me a while to realise the silver lining – but there definitely was one – I eventually saw that I had the freedom to totally re-design my life as a single parent with NO-ONE to answer to! So I found a whole new career doing something I love which necessitated taking myself off to South Africa to retrain for 6 months (with my daughter – something there is NO WAY ON EARTH I could/would have done had I still been married) and am now a very happy B-schooler and business owner. Thanks for all your inspiration Marie!

Yes! you are an inspiration:) What is your business now and do you have website to go? Have a wonderful time with your daughter and believe me we are very fortunate have a lovely baby in our arms even the life is falling apart:) Love Martina

My boyfriend who has been living in my house for many years just moved all his stuff out without even telling me. He had the biggest bedroom in the house as his music room, stuffed full with instruments and hi-tech stereo stuff. The other day I came home from work to find it empty. At first it felt empty and lonely and then it occured to me! When life gives you an empty room…. turn it into a dance studio! So, last night, I broke in the new dance studio.

Haha! That’s the best end to a break up story I ever heard. Super jellies of your dance studio. I know you are having a blast dancing your heart out in there. I can’t imagine a better way to soother the heart than a good dance party.

ok, ok, the info you gave today is WAY great…and i already have that habit of how to change it or change the way i think about it. Now i know, Marie, you have a stylist and you may not be SO into ‘the looks’ she makes you wear….and still i gotta know….who makes the dress you were wearing today and where’d you get it? love, love, love it girlfriend! gotta have it. Also, i’m having hair done today for headshots so i took a screenshot of yours…looks FAB today….sending it to my hair person. You inspire on MANY different levels Marie. Thank you!

I love this, Marie! I’ve had a lot on my plate recently and have just been getting burned out. I can’t say I’m really in a crappy place, but I’m just at a crossroads, needing a lot of time and energy that I don’t seem to have right now.

So, instead of working through it with gratitude and positive energy right away, I let myself just take a break for a while. That actually helped a lot as it gave me some perspective and showed me how much I really do love what I’m doing. Your video came at just the right time, as I was getting ready to jump back into the action.

For everyone going through burnout as their “crappy situation”, I would definitely recommend taking a break before you jump right in, even if it’s with the right attitude and mindset. Just take some time to center yourself and “regroup” all of you back into one piece. A few hours in a week won’t hurt you. Then you can also focus your efforts better once you jump back in.

On 3.31.13 my oldest son was in a devastating car accident. He sustained a major traumatic brain injury and we were told that he would be lucky to wake up. He had just finished his Marine Corps training and was looking forward to serving his country. He has remained in a coma since the time of the injury, and is not even close enough to me where I can see him regularly – he had gone home to visit his dad for the weekend (4 hours away from me) and is too critical to be moved back to my area.

Two weeks later, I am in the ER with my husband because he was coughing up blood and find out that he has a large lung nodule in his chest which looks like it’s cancerous – he’s never smoked a day in his life.

By all means, my life is absolutely horrid right now. Two of the people I love the most are in a crisis. I have cried hundreds if not thousands of tears. I am sure that there are many, many more to follow. However, I made the decision when the neurosurgeon told me to prepare for the worst because of how extensive my son’s injury to not give up hope. Hope is my key to survival right now, for without it, I am nothing. I got the words “There is always hope” tattooed on my inner forearm so that even when I am feeling my lowest, I can give myself a spiritual kick in the hiney.

The other thing I decided is that I would savor every small victory of my son’s recovery, no matter how fleeting or inconsequential it is. The doctor’s job is to tell me what my son most likely can’t do – my job as his mother and his cheerleader is to help him do everything he is not supposed to do. This past weekend marked 4 weeks since the accident – he is now semi conscious and on the road to being fully conscious. With my faith in him, my motherly love, and my self-imposed determination to help him succeed, he is moving his arms and legs – so much so they’ve had to set up special arrangements for him because he has tried to take himself out of bed. He is now starting to learn how his vocal chords work. I am relishing watching him relive his baby years all over again, for it gives me the opportunity to be the mother I wasn’t the first time around. Not everyone is given a chance to right their wrongs, and I am going to make the best of what I’ve been given.

Even if he never makes it fully back to what he was, I am grateful for the gifts I have. That is the power of hope. That is the power of finding the positive in all of the negative. We as human beings are capable of extraordinary things. We need to learn to not squander our precious internal resources.

Heather, I just had to reply to you. Your story brought me to tears…not sad tears (ok…a little sad) but tears of hope and happiness that your son has a mother like you holding the space for his recovery. Here’s sending you sooooo much love to help you help him.

Thank you very much for taking the time to write, Silvia! It’s okay to cry, both good and bad tears. My son is a warrior, and it would be a disservice to him to not be a warrior along with him Thank you for the love – I need all the support I can get so I can channel it to him.

Heather, thank you so much for sharing your story here. On behalf of myself, my team and our entire community — we’re sending you, your son and your husband our thoughts and prayers. You WILL make it through this and your family is blessed to have such a strong, courageous and loving person by their side. I LOVE that you got that tattoo! xoxo M

Oh, you’re most welcome, Marie! I’m glad I can share my story and hope that people can take courage and strength out of to help themselves. I appreciate your thoughts and prayers along with everyone else’s – I see myself as the well in which to collect all the positivity and the one to channel that hope into other’s lives. That’s the mark I want to leave on this world – that somewhere, at some point, I was able to bring inspiration into someone’s life and make it a not so dark and scary place for them.

Heather, you are an incredible soul. Anyone would be blessed beyond belief to have you as a mother. I know it sounds strange, but I believe that your son feels your energy. Your decision to be positive in the face of overwhelming odds is going to make all the difference to you and your family. Sending you so much love this morning. I think I speak for all of the MarieTV fans when I say that our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Avery – thank you very much for your thoughts and kind words. I think that he feels my energy too. There are just little nuances here and there that make me believe that – right after the accident when he was deep in his coma it was just me and him in the room and I laid my soul bare to him. I asked him for forgiveness for all of the times he felt wronged by me, shared with him my deep love and respect for everything he had overcome to be the Marine he always wanted to be, and I begged him to come back to me because I could not live without him and told him my heart would forever be broken. When I leaned over to kiss him on his forehead, he had tears coming out of his eyes and he squeezed my hand.

Whenever I start to feel really down – like every night when I go to bed since his room is directly across from mine – I remember that moment and it gives me the courage to go to confront what the next day of his recovery brings.

Dear Heather, you are strong mother and your decision was the best mother can give her child:) I pray for your son and you. As a Reiki Master I am able to send him healing Reiki energy to unblock all energy centres (chakras). Please let me know if I have permission to do that. You can email me at martinavantuchova@gmail.com

Heather, I am sending you so much love. You are such an inspiration to all of us going through tough times. It’s amazing how sometimes the toughest circumstances can show you just how much strength, hope, and superhuman love you are really capable of. You are really amazing, just wanted to say that. I will pray for the health of your son and husband, and for your soul. You are such a brave woman, thank you so much for sharing your story with us.

Hello Heather:
As I read your story, I can’t even believe what a fellow human being of mine has had to endure. Your story has touched me deeply and I know it will continue to touch many people (this MarieTV circle of women is absolutely remarkable).
Since I believe in the healing power of music, and since I’m a professional songwriter, I wanted to share a song I wrote for the grandmother I never knew (my father lost his mother during the Holocaust at the age of 13). I wrote her this tribute because my Dad tells me over and over again that it’s her love that sustained him during his darkest days in the forest. I hope it brings you and the other mothers out there some comfort and pride in knowing that we have the greatest job in the world (as thankless as it is sometimes). You are tremendously inspiring! I wish your son and husband improved health and an easy recovery – since you seem to have a lot of the other important ingredients to a great life – namely love and faith! The song is called “A Mother’s Love” – here’s the youtube video with other links: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8Gbaw52QUs
Happy (Pre) Mother’s Day to all you amazing moms, wives, sisters and daughters out there – you never cease to inspire! As I say in my motivational speaking program for teen girls and moms: “We need more GIRL in our WORLD!”…..:)
Heather, have a beautiful day!

Everything is relative! And perspective can do us all a lot of good, especially when we feel like things aren’t working out for us or we’re stuck.

I’m especially grateful that you took us to work with you at Virgin Unite with youths and non-profits… it really helped me and the rest of your adventure masterminders not to be so focused on our own “stuff” and to keep our focus on how we can be of service in the world.

Hell yeah….. this totally resonates with me !!! 18 months ago, the business I had been running fell apart. Like, big time….. the business went bankrupt, I spent endless amounts of time with lawyers and accountants & watched 5 years of blood,sweat & tears go down the drain. The months that followed were filled with panic attacks, constant stress, bad press & relationship issues.

Then slowly, I started to pull myself back together. I looked for the good (an opportunity to find a new career, a fresh start, teaching others not to make the same mistakes as I did) and things started to feel a little lighter. Fast forward to today and that attitude has stuck. I like to think of it as life happening for me, as opposed to life happening to me.

I’m building a thriving coaching business connecting women entrepreneurs to their why. I get to surf every day. I feel stronger & smarter than ever.

Marie,
Great video, as always.
The crappy situation that I turned around? I left my empty 25 year marriage to a closet addict. But instead of going into meltdown and blame, I went on a amazing spiritual journey, which moved me from New England to NYC, at age 52!

After my trip to India, that journey went from serious and profound to hilarious, and as an actress/singer/writer I wrote it all in my solo show comedy, Hot Mama Mahatma (or I went to India to get enlightened, but got turned on instead!)

Which is how I got to Mama Gena’s…and I have flourished in that land of pleasure. Now, through my show, my keynote speaking and my coaching, I am empowering women to live a more sensuous, pleasure filled life as they live their dreams:)

Wow! What a great, inspiring story! That takes GUTS! I too am in the empowerment space – talking to teen girls and their moms in my program “Motiv8: 8 Ways To ROCK Your Own World!”
Good luck to you on what sounds like an awesome journey! Enjoy every minute!

Whenever I am faced with a crappy situation, I remind myself that sometimes the universe is telling me to slow down and reflect. I believe there is a lesson to learn from everything in life, even if it is crappy. I will not do “woe is me” song and dance. I would rather face it head on, learn from it, and move on as quickly as possible.

Love today’s video and today’s tweetable! This is a message I’ve talked about for years…amen! The key to happiness is how we view our challenges in life. (And learning to embrace our challenges as gifts and lessons…)

I actually wrote a blog post related to today’s video that I think could be helpful to Alicia and to your other readers – which I hope you don’t mind my sharing!

I had cancer a little over 10 years ago and it ended up being the defining moment in my life. I changed my career, changed my direction, adopted healthy eating, learned to love life. I actually blogged about it recently in a section of my blog called “fearlessness”.

I’ve also been reading Ann Lamott’s “Bird by Bird” and she gives a wonderful analogy for the creative writing process (and it applies to life in general): when you’re driving at night, you may not be able to see where you’re headed, but if you follow the headlights, slowly but surely you’ll get to your destination. I apply that thinking in my daily life when I’m feeling overwhelmed – just focus on moving myself along, little by little. I don’t have to see my destination, I just need to know I’m doing something to get me there.

Another thing to hold on to is the idea that if you’re in it for the long haul and keep your goals in front of you at all times, you know that challenges are inevitable and often temporary. If your goals are worthwhile and you truly believe in their value, it’s easier to plunge ahead and do whatever is necessary to reach them.

It’s so hard not to get emotional over the cambodian woman. while there is much sadness in that story, there’s also so much inspiration. and i think that’s what i take away. our sticky situations cause our inspiration and our greatness. thanks marie <3

Agreed! Attitude is everything. Even if you’re feeling stuck and unable to move ahead or you just don’t feel it’s the right time to make a decision, don’t ever let inertia take over. Work on improving other areas of your life. Purge, get rid of old junk, re-arrange your workspace, organize, anything to get the flow going again. Most importantly, find a silver lining, there’s ALWAYS so much to be grateful for! Counting your blessings is one of the best ways to get out of a slump =)

What serendipitous timing for this video! I have been getting down on myself for being scammed into spending $700 on a business directory that I was told was refundable – I will never see that money again I’ve concluded. I have spent the last week thinking of all the things that money could have bought me – a crap load of yoga props, food for three months, even a nice vacation! Not only that, but I think of how hard I’ll have to work to recover that $$ loss and all the time it will take to reach out to the right people so this doesn’t happen to other new entrepreneurs like myself. On the brighter side, I’ve switched my thinking and have a whole new motivation to get going on my yoga business and in the future I will be doing much more homework and research before I hand out my credit card number!

I can completely relate. As a start up company every $ investment is precious & VERY hard to earn and it doesn’t multiply very fast. I have done the same thing, and found that it was actually a way cheaper business lesson than others in bigger companies have made. Learn from it & move on. One big mistake I made was a Facebook Shopping Cart. It cost alot of money to have someone make it & then I got one order! After going through all that I stumbled upon an article that talked about Facebook not being such a great thing. Well, you can either stew over it or move on & educate others from your mistakes. We will still make mistakes as we move forward, but if we make them after doing homework still, we did our best and there is always something to be learned from the experience. Thank you for sharing yours…… I tend to feel like I am the only one who makes such mistakes…….. … :0)

Thank you, Marie for raising the vibe of great energy and widom! I needed a “little kick in the pants with a pretty shoe” as I always say 😉 Even Health/Life Coaches need a gentle reminder & pick me up because we take on energy of our clients who are struggling to make changes from crappy situations in their lives and sometimes it washes over on us too. Support is always the key approach. Thanks for your beauty you add to this world.
Namaste`

i used to resist crappy situations and whine and wonder why. now i think “why” but from a place to learn from. they come into your life for a reason…to look at your patterns, to slow you down and observe, etc etc. accept the crappy situation, observe it and be grateful for al you have…your little fingers, toes, breathe…

YES! I love this so much I commented on YouTube and am doing so here as well. It’s all about how we see ourselves and what we’re capable of, and how we see life. We can choose to wallow or choose to change. We can choose to see the good or the bad.

I spent, oh, almost 30 years seeing mostly bad. I hated myself, binged compulsively, was 100+ lbs overweight, never dated, didn’t think of myself as a woman at all. Eventually a friend got through to me that I wasn’t such a monster, and that led to a breakthrough which eventually found me putting myself out there in a ballsy fashion (via a Craigslist rant) which led to meeting my husband the next day. I mean, seriously. The day after I decided I was better than the crumbs life and jackass guys were throwing at me, it all came together.

And then my father-in-law had a brain aneurysm and 3 1/2 years later we’re still living with him because he now has dementia as a result. And I let it get to me to the point where the stress and other ickiness brought on moderate-to-severe ulcerative colitis, which I’m still pushing through.

It wasn’t worth it.

Which is why my new business (thanks to B-School, woop woop!) is dedicated to helping women care for themselves first and foremost, no matter what their situation, what they think of themselves, where they are in life, etc. I put last time and again – even when I saw in the past how the power of my thoughts about myself affected my entire life. It was still too easy to get caught up in the moment, full of stress and bitterness (because yes, caregiving can be a bitter pill) and trying to keep my practically new marriage healthy and thriving. My insides literally ate themselves up because I kept putting my feelings last. NO MORE!

So yeah, I’m channeling that into my mission to help other women either avoid such nastiness altogether or work through it to the other side. Because we all deserve the best!

Here’s my story. When I moved to Sudan, I was not happy with it. I spent the first two weeks crying and feeling sorry for myself until my husband told me to GET IT TOGETHER (his version of a spiritual smack down!) So I did. I completely changed my perspective, told myself it was far too soon to evaluate whether I would like living here and opened myself up to it.

Cut to almost two years later and I don’t want to leave! I’m trying to extend our stay here as long as possible. Yes, it can be a frustrating place to live, but it is also wonderful and interesting, and full of good good people. All of which I feel grateful for every day.

Looking for the best in whatever situation you’re in is sure a lot more fun than wishing you were in another situation.

Great story. I’ve found that to be true when living overseas. You can shift your mindset and then your experience changes. There will always be something that bothers you wherever you are. I like to apply the 80/20 rule. In business, they say 20% of the clients usually generate 80% of the sale. I say, if I like 80% of what’s happening around me and can live with it, if not fully enjoy it, which sometimes you can by shifting your perspective, I’m good. If that balances shifts to 70/30 or 60/40, it’s time to re-evaluate and make tough choices. If I can change how I see it and that works, then I keep going. And if the bad outweighs the good, then I need to rethink and change something (the who, the what, the where, the how). And if I don’t have a really strong WHY, then that would be the core of my problem.

Hey Alyxandria, that’s a cool application of the 80/20 rule. You are so right that there are frustrations no matter where you are. It’s just much more fun to focus on the parts you enjoy. As I’ve said to my husband, we can either focus on the garbage strewn everywhere or lift our eyes up and look at the smiles on people’s faces. It’s a choice. The garbage is always going to be there, figuratively (and literally, in this case).

INSPIRED today. When I go thru tough spots I always feel like I am the only one going thru it. It’s helpful to know others out there are experincing the walls of life too. I believe in MOVING YOUR FEET. Keeeeep them moving! Wake up , get up and show up!

My life has been very up and down the last six months. Trying to find my role in a relationship with a divorced man and two kids, facing compliance for my business, father dying of cancer.. WE ALL have our stuff. AND it’s great to know that I’m not alone in my fears of how I’m going to keep going. I’m 33 years old I have to keep going.

Life becomes monotonous. Wake up , shower, feed dogs, take vitamins, work, exercise, sleep. While the montony is monotonous it’s a good thing to have when things start to spin. I have also found making my bed in the mornings is therapeutic to get your days started.

Wise wise words, and I and sending some prayers and encouragement along for Alicia. You will make it through to the other side! I was going through a custody battle, lost my best friend to cancer and then 9/11 rocked my world. I was a flight attendant based in Boston for American Airlines and lost colleagues and friends on that horrific day. Somehow, I started becoming very myopic-thinking all these bad things were happening to ME. When I realized where my brain was headed to HAD to change my thinking. I was not on that flight, I did not have cancer and I was out of a verbally abusive marriage. Just the shift in thinking was helping me heal and move forward. AND yes, it was a choice that I had to make everyday. Now the lesson that Marie discusses in this very very good video is imprinted in my heart. Yeah you Marie, for speaking this message so clearly.

That’s very true. Although, in many situations, it can take some doing to find the positive or to change what we are thinking about it. I usually learn something useful from every situation or experience, even person who gets on my last nerve!, but sometimes the true lessons learned don’t become apparent until years later when faced with the same sort of crappy situation/experience/person and then my reaction is completely different. Been there, done that, didn’t work. Now I’m going to do something entirely different.

Loved this one Marie 😉 Thank YOU.
I’m just writing another comment because I don’t see my first one show up – and this is the second time I don’t see my comments. Hmmm… am I doing something wrong…. I’ll check to see if this one gets displayed.
xoxo

Man, did I ever need this today. Cosmic timing for sure! I just wrote a blog post yesterday about how life sucks sometimes (had a couple of deaths in the family and am going through a tough time with a friend right now) so this was absolutely the perfect reminder! Will be sharing this link on my blog this week Thanks!

The night before flying out of Vancouver to New York City, on my way home from my last shift at my job just last week, I ran into my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend. It felt like taking a bullet. I cried the whole way home.
I showered, went to bed in tears, and the next morning I knew that I would look back on it very soon as one of the best things to ever happen to me – now i had no reason not to move on. My eyes need to be focused on my future, not on him. So it was a bullet, and it killed at the time, but hallelujah for God’s unbelievably impeccable timing. I wish him all the best, but i’m off to New York City in the morning with bigger fish to fry! Thank you so much, Marie for this Q&A Tuesday!

Your state of mind-and heart-are the keys to moving forward. I get up every morning and wait for the pain to at least allow me to move, I am on chemo, Enbrel and medicine for each of the organs that my disease has attacked. The other disease is now attacking my bones. There is nothing they can do; it’s ‘systemic’.
I am in pain every moment and recently lost the use of my dominant hand. But dear friends-another key to happiness-got me Dragon speech to text and a headphone. Writing and knowledge is my passion. I’ve gotten through much worse circumstances and managed to pull myself up. I used to take care of everyone else and dance and run. Those are gone now, but I am grateful for the lessons I’ve learned along the way.
Thank you, Marie for keeping it real and bringing us the humor you embody so well. And that’s one of the best things; if you can laugh through your tears, they will dry up sooner. 😉 My best to you and everyone fighting the good fight!

As usual Marie, you nailed it. Couldn’t be better timing either. In general, I’m a really positive person but when the sh** hits the fan, it’s hard to keep your head and hopes high. Thanks for your commitment to encouraging and supporting all of us.
love you so much,
mridu

Everyday we all get curve balls thrown our way, we can choose to catch the ball and get in the game of life or let it drop to the ground and watch everyone else play. Nobody’s perfect, it’s how we handle are everyday life. Instead of waiting for things to get better, explore who you are and how you view the World, discover real solutions to meet the challenges of life and achieve your full potiental. Make Choices and take Action to accomplish your goals regardless of the circumstances so you can consistently produce results on the job and in life with less effort and energy. I challenge everyone that reads this to make a difference in atleast one Woman. Man, child or stranger everyday from this day 4/30/13 forward. Remember a smile goes a long way:-) If WE all be the change, WE will see the change! PRAY and TRUST the Process, your Prays will be Answerd.

LOVE THIS. I have something that I tell my coaching clients when they are really feeling like they have no options, and that is that “you always land exactly where you are supposed to be.” There are no wrong turns. Everything is a step along the path. In other words, your only obligation is to make the best decision from the options that are presented to you at that moment.

It took me years to recognize this in my own life– that an upbringing that was rife with trauma, a first career that made me miserable, and a series of terrible relationships that ended badly– all things that could have been viewed as contraindicators to success– were all in fact stepping stones to a life where every single lesson I learned from those experiences would be put to good use in the service of others as a coach . . . and not to mention led me to a wonderful marriage with a wonderful man, a daughter who rocks my world and a son on the way in July, a beautiful community of friends and the knowledge that without ALL of it, I wouldn’t be who I am today.

I was supposed to meet with a friend this morning to help me with packaging my programs and she had to cancel. I was WAY disappointed but she could not help it. I decided this morning to walk my dogs and pause because I know something better will show itself. I turned on my computer and there you were Marie! My something better. God will show me the next right step because it was affirmed by you. Thanks for listening to the universe so that you could be my light today Marie Forleo.

My husband and I had travelled on a very hot afternoon to Asti and parked the car and is my way I feel my way around a town/city until I find places that feel right …… this afternoon nothing felt right, everything felt wrong. We wandered about getting hotter and in the end bought a ice cream sat on a bench looking at a car park and said to each other

“there is nothing here”

Obviously in my heart I knew I was wrong BUT I had got so fed up looking.

We sat with our ice cream feeling very negative and then I had a ‘ah ha’ moment and said lets look behind us, as in front is negative so behind must be positive! (in science you cant have a negative without a positive)
……..to cut a long story short …….. behind the bench was a street of shops, behind that street was the most beautiful square full of energy and vibrance.
We were looking with such negativity we could not see.

We now call it ‘a Asti moment’ so whenever we feel negative we both know there is a positive just behind us.
It seriously works because you cant have a negative without a positive
…..its so simple !!!
lots of love
deborah

This is so right on point Marie! Whenever I allow myself to get mired in fear or find myself focusing on negative thoughts about my situation, I end up depressed and stuck in bit ol’ rut, unable to move forward. Every time, I remember that I can CHOOSE to find and focus on something positive, and really put that “attitude of gratitude” into practice, I always find ways to move forward and usually it results in a big burst of momentum I never expected. It’s a relatively new concept for me and not always easy to make that shift mentally when things are not going the way you hoped and planned but thus far it has worked wonders for me. Thanks again for another great, empowering Q&A video!

I’m crying tears of relief while watching this. I’ve been in a headlock for the past week on how to move forward when everything seems to suck. I know I need to be a warrior but I couldn’t figure out how. THANK YOU for turning on the light for me!! I’m grateful to have found this in my inbox this morning and am looking forward to watching your other content as I’m sure to be inspired. I missed B School this year but look for me next year, Imma be there! XOXO Thanks Marie…from the bottom of my heart.

Excellent video on overcoming, great points about action- thank you for caring enough to share so openly. Particularly like the way you do the Q&A with bringing in real questions from folks who are going to then listen to the response, that’s genius.

I really love all of your videos, however, this is one that I needed right now. All my options in my current situation were crappy..I just jumped in and chose one..not sure it was the right one but what I do know is I will search for what I can gain from this.
Thanks.

I think I’m finding myself in a situation like this now. But what is important and Marie is talking about it in her video – is your attitude – the positive attitude allows you to get yourself out of this depression, freezing state of mind when all you see is darkness and no possibilities – when you decide to be lighter, a little more optimistic you also start noticing new solutions you haven’t seen before and you just start thinking in new, better ways. Thank you Marie for your amazing video!

I think there is something to differientiate with this question. First, when you are in the midst of a tough situation, or if it just occured, or if you’re getting one major thing come up one after the other, most likely, you won’t just snap out of it. So, what I suggest is 1:Stop, don’t do anything at first & defiantly give yourself time to greive. We trivie how important it is for us to just honor that we are having a tough go at it, give yourself that space ( but don’t stay here for long) (things that help during this period: walking, writing it all down, meditation, exercise, EFT) & 2: Self Care like a MoFo. You have to take care of yourself so focus on the basics & make sure you keep that routine going. Go see a movie, get a massage. Take care of yourself. 3: listen& read: listen & read a ton of material until something sparks you. If you read and listen enough ( to podcasts, radio, vlogs, blogs, people like Marie) then uou will finally get a spark that will ince again light your kindle and get back into a productive state of mind. (Typing on phone sucks- lots of mispeling ha!

FABULOUS episode. Sorry not enough space here for listing the “crappy” experiences however, what I have found for myself is, that life is 10% of WHAT happens to me and 90% HOW I react to it. One of the shifts I am practicing in my life now is Debbie Fords suggestion of embracing the dark side. We all have them and for me to be able to acknowledge them and allow them to teach me, can make a huge difference in the way I act or react to any situation. Thank you for spreading the Light… YOU ROCK!

I use to have nothing but crap days…and would keep attracting more and more of those kind of days, day in and day out. Finally I had enough, and said goodbye to the drama. I started looking for the good in each day and being greatful and thankful for the things in my life, even if they weren’t exactly how I’d like them to be. Thinking positive has now turned into a habit, and im living a more joyous life, im learning to have fun again in everything! Thats what it’s all about.. FUN! 😉 Thanks for sharing this!

Marie,
I actually had a spiritual turnaround just last night! I am currently not in the most ideal situation but I have decided to take action steps to “turn into a pro” so I can feel productive and more satisfied about my life. Even though there are things *ahem* a person *ahem* it has taught me who I want to be and what I want in my life. And being in this space, even though it is not ideal and uncomfortable at times, it gives me the time and space to grow and challenge myself while I am working and saving my money to move out annnnnd also to start my own business soon! Can’t wait to join your B school soon!
Thank you for all the work you do! You have definitely helped me in so many ways. You don’t even know girl.
Much love
Tianah

Just yesterday I found myself in a crappy situation and I am dealing with it. I made the comment to a friend, well, this is a test, to see if I’m gonna walk the walk or just talk the talk. It’s easy to say you have a positive attitude, but it’s got work when the situation gets crappy, not just happy. Love the lesson and I love you Marie!

The band I’m in just had our camera stolen last night while playing an awesome show. I woke up today with my partner yelling at me for not double checking that it was packed. I didn’t cry, but did get upset that I was being blamed. However, instead of beating myself up over it, I sucked it up and took action by making calls today to hunt it down.
The camera was a gift to us and it means a lot to our group as we use it to make our own music videos, but it’s not the end of the world. I will find it or I will raise the money to get a new one.
My life is way easier compared to all those other women who literally eat shit sandwiches daily like in the Middle East, Africa-or any place where people are struggling to just survive on a daily basis.
Thank you Marie for being spot on and opening our hearts and minds in the midst of struggle.

While I’m thrilled to be enjoying a new marriage and remembering the most amazing wedding anyone ever had, and love my work helping people release their stuck energies…I’m also processing the grief of having lost BOTH my beloved uncle/god father AND my brother within weeks of our wedding.

Talk about crappy!

Last weekend someone asked me how I could possibly look and sound so “good” – after all, some tragedies you just can’t get over, right? She said “Sometimes you just have to live with the pain because you’re never going to think positively about something so painful.” WRONG!

The TRUTH is that we can release the stuck energy of painful experiences, unsupportive beliefs, and emotional trauma. In fact, we must if we want to be able to do the kind of intentional thinking you’re speaking of here in your video today. Otherwise, our thinking simply must flow through the filters of our stuck energies – and often makes it nearly impossible to “think positively” for long enough to be the change we want to make in our lives. The struggle to push for positive thinking gives so many of us even more pain as we question what’s wrong with us and blame ourselves because everyone else seems to be able to do it.

As usual, I loved your message – so grateful to have your voice and your inspiration.

in Living Harmony,
Cathleen (um…but now I kinda only answer to Mrs. Stone thank you very much!) xoxo

I found that life looks the way I think about it. Everything in my life is a reflection of my thoughts. Even circumstances outside of my control of which there are many, depend on how I perceive them. When I got that things changed. I saw that:

With this, I learned that:

– Thoughts are a choice. “Negativity knocks but I don’t have to let it in.”

I just found out yesterday that our land management has decided to let a crazy person stay living in our tight knit complex.
The young man went crazy and tore up his apartment and shows signs of extreme mental illness. In my opinion I believe him to be dangerous.
I decided to take action and talk to a few neighbors. That didnt work as they dont seem to understand the danger this imposes.
But its when things like this happen- It makes me move faster. We have been wanted to move for the past 6 months and now Im moving faster and finding more determination to move ( admittedly due to a bit of panik and anxiety) but I am surely moving much faster than I would have normally into a bigger home and maybe even purchasing!

It’s true, I don’t think I’ve ever been stuck in a TRULY crappy situation. Things tend to balance out in a mysterious way. But my mind loves to tell me that my situation is dire 24/7. Often, I wish my brain would just chill out and relax already.

Well I got up feeling good and got a crappy text from a client who I thought I was helping and then to later on have another client who I sat up with at midnight last Thursday doing a contract for on a home that he indicated he wanted so that he could get this home (and did get the home yesterday) to only tell me today he wants to now withdraw his offer on this same home. So pretty crappy Tuesday thus far and then of course I started getting raggy myself from all of this but this helped out Thanks! Going to have to really work hard on creating a new habit the old one just ain’t working feeling like this and doesn’t serve me well or those around me especially my family! Thanks again!

Dear Marie,
Forty days ago I ran away…from my home, my family, my career. I’ve been sitting in a beautiful ocean front condo in Baja and only leave to stock up on a few food items every few days. I’ve spent my days watching dolphins playing in the surf and whales migrating north, it has been peaceful but very lonely. This past week I’ve decided to go home and confront whatever it is I need to confront.
My husband left me almost three years ago and I was shocked to say the least. We were together for 34 years, married for 31 years. We have 6 children together and 7 grandchildren. He left our home to go live with another woman. I dedicated myself to him, my children and my home, I worked along side of him as his partner this entire time in the same industry, his friends were my friends, and he didn’t support me when when a time I wanted to do something different for myself because he always wanted me to be his “wingman”. So I was left lost and confused.
I searched for help, joined Unity church and started following Esther and Jerry Hicks and the teachings of Abraham. That seemed to work as my therapy. After a couple years went by I tried to go back to work with no real success, I had always worked with him or for him and the thought of going out there and marketing myself terrified me.
I felt I’d lost everything and everyone I loved. I have 2 adult kids still leaving at my home and 3 weeks after I left I told them I was going home because I was lonely and miss them so much. They told me they were ok with me not there, they wanted me to not go back because they felt they didn’t want to live with any parent. Unfortunately for them, they live at my house. Yesterday, I had made the decision to go back and confront whatever it is waiting for me. I know I’m making the right decision and your video this morning was so great.

It’s really about PERSPECTIVE.. How you perceive your problems! Are they really that BAD compared to what others might be going thru? I always ask myself that questions and NO, my problems are relatively “easy” compare to what others are going thru at the moment!

Your comment section is blowing up—because I don’t think there is a person alive that can not relate to this one.

I am the poster child for this kind of “shift” 😉

I am who I am today becuase I took an awful situation (being born to teenage parents— who are addicts + being raised in the projects + barely getting by) and used it to serve other women + men in a way that helps them survive their awful situations.

In fact, my mantra is ” I use to hate my life and now I freaking love it (TM).” I say that not because everything magically changed for me, but because I took what I hated the most— and made a life out it— one that I REALLY FREAKING LOVE! I chose to stop focusing on what was wrong with my life, and used all of my energy to surround myself + create + focus ONLY on the things that I really freaking love. Doing that gave me the clarity I needed to make better decisions + cultivate positive relationships + make a whole lot of stuff happen in my life.

Ultimately, my new curcumstances were a result of me looking at the old ones from a whole new perspective.

Thanks for sharing Marie!!, I have experienced those kinda situations before and also experienced having a negative and positive attitude, definetly having a positive attitude made it so much easier for me to go through rough times and become a better person after all, I’m not saying it’s easy sometimes as I’m a human being, but I know that having a positive mind set now for me is a medicine to my brain/health.

Thank you Marie! Beautifully said… What appears to be a yukky situation is a catalyst for change and/or something better. We all have the capability to go way beyond what we think we can do or become.
I am so grateful for you.

This is a great and timely piece. Such good advice. I am currently experiencing one of those sucky, crappy times. Last year, I was building my first business, a professional storytelling firm, when I got the call that my mother was ill. I’ve had to put my business on the back burner as I rotate caring for my mother with my sisters. Needless to say, the emotional, financial and personal anxiety and stress is extraordinary. I even blogged about it here: http://thethirtymilewoman.com/2013/04/22/in-difficult-times/

But I will say that I have learned more about myself now that at any other time in my life. Its true. You choose how to respond to situations, particularly those that you cannot control. I make it a priority to do 10 things every day that can move me forward. Similarly, I recognized early that I am not special. This happens to people every day. Finally, I realized that I have to fight for the life I want. If I want certain things to happen in my life, I need to develop strategies counter to being complacent or defeatist. I use the stress I am under as a motivator to press forward.

Thank uou Marie for this perspective. I was teally in bad situation and was thinking what to do? Your episode chsnged my attitude and i start thinking what is best in this situation. Thank you for giving me shift.

A few short years ago I lost my best friend of 20 years, William, to suicide. I can honestly say it was the most darkest time in my life. After about 3 months of an intense grieving period I can’t put into words, I picked myself up and started living my life again. I reevaluated my friends, my job and the manner in which I was living my life…and made real and lasting changes. I chose not to make myself a victim, blame the world around me and become jaded. Instead, I surrounded myself with only positive and supportive friends, went back to school to become a personal development coach and started a charity fund in honor of my best friend, The William Fund, which provides support to LGBT youth outreach programs in the greater NYC area. It wasn’t always easy, but I can confidently say I see the gifts I received in losing William and I’m stronger, healthier, happier person as a result. It doesn’t mean I wouldn’t go back and change things if I could….it simply means I took a tragic and dark event and used it to fuel positive change in my life.

Thanks for this episode Marie!
I found myself in a crappy situation: I worked a day job to be able to start my dream business in photography. My day job actually stopped my creativity, because it drained me too much: I came home dead tired and with no energy, because I disliked the work soo much.
“If you don’t like something, change it. If you don’t like your job, quit.” Is exactly what I did: I just quit and made the decision to go for it full force. I’ve done more in the past week than in months before.
(Now all I need is money, hahaha. But I believe in being positive and attacting things from the universe, so we’ll be allright)

Today’s video was excellent. When I was 18, a freshman in college, I was diagnosed with cancer. That was 7 years ago and I have been in remission for about the same amount of time. Back then, the internet wasn’t nearly as effective and, thus, Young Adult Cancer outreach groups were fewer. In order to not feel alone, I immersed myself in activism–chairing Relay For Life, volunteering in hospitals’ oncology units, running a marathon for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society’s Team In Training this past March, etcetera. Whenever I have a bad day, what cheers me is helping someone else. No matter what you’re going through, there’s always a way to have a positive impact on other people’s lives.

Blessings- I was able to train, start, and work my coaching businbess while sitting on my ass…because I could barely walk and still get to teach for the coaching school….and do not have to discipline teenagers anymore.

I was also able to crawl to finish my M.A. degree, but I met my husband there, so it was worth it.

You just never know that what may seem like crap may be leading us to blessings…

Ya, I still have Lyme, but I get to do what I love and be married to the most awesome guy ever!!!

I have something to share along the lines of choosing a less crappy option between two crappy options, and discovering the one I chose wasn’t so bad after all.

I was going through a nasty divorce settlement process with the Ex from hell. The house had foreclosed, and discovering that he’d borrowed on the home without my knowing about it, I was going to have to come up with some money renegotiate a loan I had never taken out or face bankruptcy- both options sucked big time!
The way I saw it, both options were pretty bad. I could declare bankruptcy (not a good idea), or I could renegotiate the loan and pay pennies on the dollar. I kept thinking to myself, “this totally sucks; it’s unfair, the Ex is a (fill in your favorite epithet here), this is so wrong….”
At one point, I had to come to smackdown on myself. Yes, the situation sucked, yes it was unfair, but if I didn’t act, things were going to happen to me as opposed to me making them happen. I renegotiated the loan with some help, and payed it off with the Ex paying a good share of it.

The outcome? I managed to salvage my credit rating, and have moved on with my life.

I hope this is helpful to today’s Q&A. I empathize with the woman who wrote in, yet Marie’s tweetable is right on.

Sometimes I need an interim step – between the dead stop of misery and the moving forward thing. I think of it as neutral distraction. That’s when I’m so overwhelmed I’m immobile, a deer in the headlights. I do two things: I pay as little attention to the problem or situation that is overwhelming me, and I do EFT often, sometimes for a long time. Marie talked about EFT in her April 2, 2013, post “I was skeptical about this one.” EFT calms and soothes me and my brain, which is in fight or flight mode; and that, coupled with focusing on anything else, and I try to focus on something pleasurable or positive, gives me the time and space I need to even think about the situation. Then I can see more clearly what is right or positive with the situation. I’ve been doing this – engaging in neutral distraction and then looking for the good in the situation – for the past few years, and it’s helped me a lot… and prevented me from doing nothing or doing something just to do something.

Ok- so I was 39, two kids ages 2 and 5 and I was diagnosed with stage two colorectal cancer. SO! Tell me what is the “positive” side of that!
Well, that year of cancer treatment was… amazing. Now it brought me to levels of body betrayal not known to me before (public vomiting, inability to control my bowels) but it also brought out some serious super-positive-I’m-going-to-kick-some-ASS-and-overcome-this!
Which I did.
The whole ordeal caused me to stare death in the FACE, revisit my LIFE and evaluate what REALLY matters. The answer? Relationship.
Yes. Relationship.
Were my relationships authentic? Did they serve me? Was I the best I could be?
Enough putting things off for later, do what I can NOW to honor “life” in all it’s aspects.
I quit a business that was sucking my energy, I focused on my “peeps” and the richness of life. AND I am committed to being a support and example for those around me.
Now, this didn’t all happen overnight mind you.
Sometimes all we can do is sit, feel the discomfort of our situation (cry our eyes out and wonder “why ME”) but then, LISTEN to the universe- see what it has in store for us next.

LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!!! This is not only a kick ass business course, but a wonderful nurturing for the mind, body and soul. While a LOT of the past 8 weeks have been intensely uncomfortable for a lot of us, we have also been fed with constant encouragement and reminders of how to get through the discomfort and the crap that life feeds us, from these videos, Marie’s emails and the awesome B-School community. Yes, we have the option to choose how to perceive and deal with our situations. I’ve also thought often of the following quote when things feel tough: Every organism in nature experiences chaos while it is self-organizing”.

I started a gratitude journal to note all that was going right (versus falling into the trap of focusing on only what was missing or not yet happening, which is the direction that my ego was trying to pull me in…I don’t think so, ego!). I find it helpful to remember that ego’s sole goal is to keep us from reaching and expressing the love and light that has been placed inside of each of us and that it’s weapon of choice is fear. As soon as we begin to become frustrated with the perceived “crappy situation”, ego has a hold of us and is bating us to go further into a spiral of negative thinking. At this point, we are faced with the choice to give into ego’s ploy and move deeper into a negative spiral or remember our goal at hand—to express the love and light that we were sent here to be!

I just told my co-worker today at lunch that my life “sucks”. Then I come back to my desk and find this message in my box. Thanks for that smackdown! Now I’m going to go somewhere and sit my butt down and get grateful

Whenever I am in a “crappy situation” or am faced with two decisions I don’t really want to make: 1) I take responsibility, because for whatever reason I need to improve it then 2) I base my descions on who I want to be in the future and 3) I always say “here is the situations and that’s okay because of X, Y, and Z”

For instance, I’m in email marketing and we had campaign fail miserably (which I mention in advance that it would – but our company president wanted it to go out not matter what). So I honored the leader’s request because one of my core values is respect and because of that failed campaign (along with my input before hand) the President then respected my recommendations on the next campaign which turned out to be the most successful campaign yet.

So yeah I had to make a hard decision to send out something I wasn’t proud of but it all worked out in the end.

Wow! At first when I heard the Q for today I was thinking “yea what happens when every option seems like it sucks” but this was brilliantto bring it right back to shifting our focus to see the positive, that way feels much more powerful and opens the gates to new possibilites. Thanks Marie!

I love this content and tweetable Marie. A miracle is defined as a “shift in perspective” from the book A Course in Miracles. I couldn’t agree more: Change your perspective and miracles can happen. When I am feeling out of sorts, and options are looking bleak, I reminded myself: there are hidden blessings everywhere. In order to see them I need to simply change my perspective from focusing on negatives to focusing on positives: like I am grateful for my two legs, my sisters, my home, etc. Quotes like: I am too blessed to be stressed – help remind me of all the great things I have in my life.

Marie!
Thank you!
I’ve just been reading some books by Elisabeth Kübler – Ross about death and dying after one of my dearest friends died. Since her death, I know with every cell of my body, that THIS life itself is the greatest gift I got – and it is MY choice how I treat this gift. I’m immensely grateful to be alive and feel and be touched and that i have a voice to sing and a body to dance!
When I get in a bad mood and forget about it, I think about some things I’m grateful for just in this moment or I do a little dance or sit in my chair and relax for some minutes. It is all about the simple things for me. And if the little and simple things work, the big questions are easier to answer too and I’m in the flow for actions.
Thank you for sharing your insights and your beauty
(me too, I love your dress!! )
Love, Stephanie.

Currently trying to change my attitude in a crappy situation (a relationship that’s going through very tough times) that affects everything else in my life, including my business. Or is it a situation that I’m *allowing* to affect other things in my life…? I don’t know. Things are cloudy, and I’m trying to see the light.

Thanks to Marie and all the beautiful, empowering women on here. You inspire every day!

I was down in the pits about my relationship with my hubby and thought what in the world did I get myself into!

I swear I was going to strangle somebody, and it wasn’t gonna be me.

But then I realized that the problem was more on my side. All I saw was doom and gloom, so all I got was doom and gloom.

Please note everyone that my husband aint abusive or anything like that at all. He’s just the regular guy who’s negligent every now and then.

But in my head I was expecting prince charming everyday with soap opera drama fights and make-up in-between. The problem was that I was trying to take the splinter of wood out of his eye instead or removing the two-by-four out of my own eye!

Talk about perspective!

So when my vision got clearer with the help of a heavenly Friend, I became hopeful and my situation wasn’t even near half as bad as I thought.

People…just beware of the power of negative thinking; It can literally murder the positive thoughts that were waiting for the way to be cleared by you.

You rock Marie! Thank you for this lovely and inspiring video. I know every time I am exposed to people/ communities/ stories that show how hard some people have it, and still break through, and some times soar, I immediately rise up and out of the sluggish complacent state, with a refreshed and charged outlook on life.

My Crappy Situation – diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis (subsequently incorrect diagnosis) and fibromyaglia, literally unable to walk or move, and grossly overweight. I went to Grandma’s Marathon in Duluth, Minnesota to support a friend who was running. I found myself crying a river because I thought I could never participate in a marathon or a half marathon because of all my diseases and physical condition. I had never even wanted to do that – but because of my crappy situation – I had a limiting belief that I never could.

Two days later – I signed up to do a half marathon in six months to raise money for the American Diabetes Association. That was in January of 2002. Since then, and being told I never really walk again – I have completed 11 half marathons, 4 full marathons, and lost 103 pounds.

Today – I am blessed to be the Ambassador for the Kona Marathon – and can’t wait to participate in my 12th half marathon in June 2013. I don’t go fast, but I go and nothing will stop me – ever.

To those who say I can’t – I say “Watch me…”. To those who say I’m not a real marathoner because I don’t run fast, I say, take my hand and walk the distance with me.

Two years ago, I had surgery and was one week into my recovery (just cholling in the sofa, ya know , recovering) when Christchurch had its deadly earthquake. It was chaos. I could barely walk, yet I had to dive under a doorway until it was over. That first night, we slept under solid tables in case our house fell apart around us.

We lost our house and moved in with my mother in law a few miles away. The aftershocks continued relentlessly and we had no electric or water for days. My parents, who I hadn’t seen in a year, had to cancel their trip to New Zealand.

My overwhelming memory (except the continuing tremors and hygeine!) Was I just wanted to help. People were out digging liquefaction silt offf the streets and making sure the elderly were safe or children were looked after. But I couldn’t get out of bed. Or at least shuffle more than a few hundred yards.

I overcame the helplessness by getting online and campaigning for Red Cross donations. Several groups in the UK ran charity events or made personal donations from the efforts I made from my shaky situation. And those donations really helped people on the ground. I can vouch for it.

Woman, I was expecting this! You never felt this sense of stuck! It’s dilemma-hood! Until two years ago, in school, I did not even know the definition of dilemma. But I live there. You’re tired of trying, it’s been so long since you gut-laughed…in fact I can’t remember when? So inside-out with blame and criticism that I can’t even choose to take a vacation?

The only thing i can actually act on—is purchasing clothing. That may be my true passion. Wouldn’t that be a kick in the pants?

Here’s my “life lesson” as a result of a potentially crappy situation. I was fired by a woman whose personal mission it became to dismiss me following my (private) confrontation of a lie she told about me. For a year and a half following that encounter, I watched her continue with such actions and felt nothing but ill will for her.

Following my dismissal, I have worked on forgiveness for her and for me for my mean-spirited thoughts and feelings. This weekend, I had an epiphany: I had withheld wanting her to become enlightened about her cruelty to others because that would represent a “good thing” coming her way. I offered up my limited thinking and began to pray that she receive understanding (which would represent that “good thing”). The next day, she was terminated.

This was a huge message for me because I “thought” I had been asking that she be forgiven for several months but had neglected to ask for anything good to come her way. My hope is that this will truly be a good thing for her–that she will come to understand the repercussions of her actions on others and that her heart will be softened.

What I learned is that sometimes it is not until we fully acknowledge our own limited thoughts and feelings and offer them up to be positively changed that changes around us begin to occur. While in my case, the changes that happened may never directly impact me, they can (and hopefully will) produce positive change in her and, thus, for others she interacts with as well.

I definitely can attest to the Spiritual Slap Down! It was agonizing and beautiful at the same time. Just last week, somehow I was spiritually placed in the seat of the receiver. An overwhelming emotion of sadness, fear, guilt, shame, anger and exhaustion came over me and I realized it wasn’t me but the receiver(an enemy) of my comments feeling this energy. Even though I didn’t say these comments directly to this persons face, I realized that I added to the dark energy to fuel her. I take full responsibility. Next time I will choose the light.

THANK YOU SO MUCH for shining light on SAMALY MAM and her foundation!!! you, like oprah, have so much power to bring attention to people, orgs, businesses, etc who are doing AMAZING WORK on the planet, during these often challenging times. you are an angel, marie!!

Marie: Your insights today were well timed! Having been blindsided recently in my career, I still feel rather comatose, fearful and depressed, just like example 1, I am hoping this will magically right itself! Yikes!
No anger or reaction, as this has happened before and I am scared to death to make one more carreer mistake, I am getting too old for this, or, am I finally old enough to go for it and build my dream and not someone else’s? I get scared and it’s difficult to get clear as to which direction to take, I can’t rush in but must go forward, how do you pace this?

Whenever I have trouble making a decision because I’m scared the result won’t turn out well, it helps to tell myself this: “I don’t know for certain that this is going to work out or that it’s going to be successful, but what I do know is that I’m going to give it hell!”

Taking the focus off of being in control of the end result and onto being in control of my own performance helps get me into action.

Thanks Marie!! I like your term “spiritual slap-down”. I agree – change occurs from within to without; first the choice, then the action – and the choice IS an action. Confucius agrees with you too: ” What need has nature of thought and care? In nature all things return to their common source and are distributed along different paths; through one action, the fruits of a hundred thoughts are realized. What need has nature of thought, of care?”

Just realized my husband of less than a year has a substance abuse problem. I’m going to al anon and it is helping. And also kicked him out of the house. I don’t know when to let him come back. He is working with a sponsor in aa now which is great. But trust has been damaged for sure. I absolutely love him and I know he is sick, but he does not exactly see it the same way. He wants to come home and misses me terribly. I miss him too.

I know there are so many good things about my husband, but addiction clouds then from being able to shine. I do not want to give up on him or our marriage.

I am choosing to go one day at a time – I just can’t know right now when will be the right time for him to come home. I feel like I’m making a huge mistake sometimes…especially after i went to his hotel room and spent thr night with him last night, but I am doing my best.

I have to trust that te next right step will show itself to me at the right time. I hate that he is out of the house, but I am afraid of letting him back in before some healig has happened to help him.

I must be patient and trust — and lean more into my higher power too.

Thanks for the great video. I know clarity is available to me as I stay connected to myself through meditation and receptivity. (iPhone typed)

Marie,
You are so spot on, and your delivery & style are as great as your content.
If nobody has told you “thank you” today, “thank you.”
And, if nobody has told you today that they love you, I do.
You are precious – and wise.
as always, in love & service – jay
G Jay Westbrook, M.S., R.N.
Clinical Director, Compassionate Journey
An End-of-Life Clinical & Education Service

Yes, I could say that there have been moments in my life when I felt blindsided.
And maybe sometimes it’s better to have no options, rather then too many of them (especially the sucky ones 😉 ).
Your advice about changing what one doesn’t like, or changing the attitude if the former is impossible, taking action and having positive mindset is really priceless.

Getting breast cancer in the middle of my 30’s with no savings and not a lot of family support, only to have my mother diagnosed and pass a year into my own healing journey….that was pretty sucky!

BUT, the whole thing lead me to learn so much about women’s health, and continue to learn and realize on a deeper levels my gift and desire to work in women’s wellness and support….well that was a HUGE gift. It also taught me the POWER of loving life….the desire to live and live well….and the absolute passion for studying healing, science and spirit. Priceless gifts out of a crapola situation. Thanks Marie for this video!!

Interesting timing of this video. I was blindsided 4 times in 3 days last week – all to do with business. By Wednesday night, I was pretty rough around the edges and I knew I had to turn the challenges around for my own health. So, Thursday morning, I got up and started taking action. I made some phone calls, I sent some emails and took “control” of the situation. Really, the only thing I could truly control was my own thoughts, beliefs and emotions about the situations. I started asking myself questions like “What could be good/great about this?” (Answer: I am getting clarity on where I want to focus my time and efforts). “How can I appreciate even more, the amazing Woman I have already become?” (This reminded me that I have been through many challenges and not only survived but thrived and become an even more empowered Woman.) “What can I be grateful for in this moment?” (Answer: That I always have a choice of how I react and the actions I take.)

This week I am rocking, moving forward and getting more clarity every day about what I want to do with each of the challenges I was given last week. The next time you are blindsided, I encourage all of you to take time to regroup, ask yourself an empowering question and then go kick some butt!!!

Too many of us deny ourselves happiness by choosing to do things we feel we should do over the things that will make us happy.

BUT

What if it was a matter of life or death?

How can you turn the feeling of should do into something that makes you happy?

When I learnt this lesson it’s wasn’t a matter of life or death

It was a matter of cleaning!

One of the many and varied things I have done was cleaning toilets in a Marina where we lived on our old yacht. Now this particular marina was like a caravan park with boats out of the water instead of caravans.

There was nothing that made me happy about this job, I never could get excited about boogers on the shower wall and a colostomy bag spilt around the toilet

It was a chore, but it had to be done….

Call me crazy or a little bit strange : )

I learnt the song out of Snow White – Whistle while you work

I would sing this song while I cleaned the toilets

And you know what happened?

The toilets started to be cleaner – the single old men started cleaning their own boogers off the wall, and I never had a spilt colostomy bag around the toilet again

…..The law of attraction…..

When you live your life from a place of chore , you deny yourself happiness.

I thought my life was over when my boyfriend I adored left me….. turns out it was the perfect gift, as it allowed me time to focus on my self and work through 20 years or emotional relationship crap that I had been wallowing in.
6 weeks later I am calm, look forward to the days ahead where I can get to know myself even better, and am enjoying the freedom that comes with working through the real issues behind why i was playing the world the way i was. I am now having a live affair with my self.
Loving it!!!

Really loved and needed this video! I am extremely blessed to have a career doing what I love. I am also really far away from my loved ones and the older I get, then more crappy I allow this situation to make me feel. Well, I can certainly take some leaps and shift my schedule around and travel more. This will allow me to spend quality time with the people I most cherish in life. Changing things up schedule wise is scary AND I know the universe wants me to see my peeps. So here comes my courage and trust.
Thanks!

Marie, this is so spot-on. Since January I had a pretty challenging state in our biz financially and because of that I was immobilized for 2 months. That’s when I got tired of feeling depressed and started changing my perspective on things. Now, we’re almost paid off with our debt. This sad situation has done amazing things in my life and business as well. I rekindled my relationship with Christ and I found out I had the most loyal team mates in the planet.

I just came across your videos this past weekend, and let me say, you are FABULOUS!

You asked about a “crappy” situation that turned around after what I call an “attitude adjustment”. Here’s mine.

Last year I was feeling very frustrated with my job. I felt stuck in a role that I had outgrown and was unable to move forward. I applied for other positions, but couldn’t move ahead. I even applied to a doctoral program and didn’t get in. To make things worse, I had a boss that I thought was too inexperienced who was frustrating the heck out of me. One day she upset me and I actually threatened to quit.

I am in a relationship with an amazing man, and when I called him that day I told him how I was feeling. He validated my feelings but reminded me that I couldn’t quit, that even thought it seemed like I was at a stalemate, God still loved me and was still on my side. I went home, took a hot bubble bath, and handed the issue over to God.

Almost overnight my boss and I started connecting. My job performance, which had always been stellar but had been lagging because of my frustration, began getting back to what it had been because I was putting my best face forward. Last week I was accepted into an apprenticeship at my job that will lead me to my next promotion, if I choose to stay there. And now, I’m finally allowing myself to pursue my dream of becoming a writer and motivational speaker.

I still have a lot of work to do, but I know I can do it. Thank you for providing some much needed inspiration!

I migrated South from the Midwest having been hired by a major health insurance company. Less than a year into this new position, not only was I promoted from manager to director, but also won an outstanding management award. In order for a healthcare company to succeed, the Marketing and Medical Departments must collaborate, working hand-in-glove. Marketing sales deliver healthy policyholders while Medical manages care and negotiates agreements with hospitals/physicians, etc. that drive business growth, achieve overall financial goals, and provide adequate coverage in policyholder markets.

Unbeknownst to me, an unusual hostility on the part of the Marketing Manager came to my attention quite by accident. She had a voodoo doll of me. To make matters worse, her staff was aware of her bizarre behavior. Talk about being blindsided—as the new “kid on the block”, It was imperative I handle the situation carefully, so as not to add fuel to the fire.

I worked my strategy through the Medical Director, who had tenure with the company as well as an above reproach reputation. He worked the situation with our boss, who was appalled at such behavior initially, but soon worked through the situation making staffing changes in the Marketing Department.

For the past year I have been endlessly thinking about the crappy options I have and have found it difficult to achieve my goals.

1. My mum has advanced breast cancer so needs a lot of care and love (which I am fine with – shes my mum!) but it if I’m honest it does make it difficult to move forward in my career.

2. My bf of nearly five years is a pilot and lives 3000km away in remote Australia as he is building is flying hours (we were in the same place for the first 3.5 years and I initially moved remotely to help him get settled and even got a job at an airline as a receptionist to get his foot in the door)

3. Both these people are constantly pulling me in both directions and I have been spending a heap of money visiting my BF

4. My bf is sometimes so lovely and sometimes awful and I really want to get married but it just feels so far away and I aint getting any younger and he doesn’t really love the conversation as most guys don’t.

I just have been completely torturing myself with indecision.

Move and leave my mum to see how things are with my bf and even further sacrifice my career and finances ?(very few jobs where he lives)

or dump my bf,

ahhhhhh i just don’t know.

Until yesterday I was made redundant at my job.

I decided it was a blessing and have decided to hike the Camino Di Santiago with my mum in Spain as I don’t know how much time I have left with her and I think I need to get out of my own head.

On one hand I feel weak for not making a stronger decision about my bf and it will still be there when I get back. but on the other hand just spending time with my mum and doing something out of the box feels right too.

I hope the hike gives me some clarity that I have been searching so desperately for and I’m not just running from my problems.

I have been endlessly reading and watching different things to help guide me and have a therapist who is wonderful but I think I may have over done it in the analyzing and now I need some mental space.

Any comments appreciated.

Also the course has been wonderful. I am still progressing as much as i can through it and even though I lost my job yesterday I really didn’t feel that bad about it, knowing I have been progressing in the course and working towards one day starting my own business (marketing and comms – about 8 years experience in this field)

That sounds like a tough situation. I’ve definitely lived the one where I was in a long distance relationship and it seemed like I was more committed than he was. I learned that … I WAS more committed than he was. And that I was spending all of my money, even though I didn’t have much, going to visit him without having him come to visit me. He got the better end of the deal there, all the way around.

However, endless analyzing didn’t do anything for me. Sure, it’s good to know what the root cause of a thing is, but maybe just following your feelings is the best thing to do. And a good way to be able to do that is to meditate at least 1/2 an hour every day, although 1/2 an hour twice a day actually works better for me. Just pick a mantra and say that one mantra over and over so that your mind calms down. If I stay on the meditation track, I actually worry less, which leaves me with more brain space for creating what I want in life and sometimes wake up with the answer to a question without having consciously chewed it over.

Actually, meditating, hiking and bicycling work well for me. Movement is great for relieving stress and helping things flow better.

Yeah, and brusque job changes, especially ones that mean we lose our sources of incomes, are excellent motivators for getting out of the procrastination zone and into the action zone!

Thanks for the reply Alyxandria and for sharing your experience with me,I so know how you felt with your long distance relationship!

I think you are totally right, I have spent so much time examining my past and my feelings and how I can improve myself to make myself ‘marryable’ and perfect that I haven’t spent much time feeling quiet and what I actually feel.

I think a 5 week hike will be perfect for quietening my mind and spending some great time with my mum without all the external crap.

You are very welcome! And a five week hike sounds sweet. I was just talking to someone about that exact hike. I forget the name of the author, but there was an English woman who did that hike about 20 years ago, stayed only in the churches, and had lots of spiritual experiences along the trail. She said it changed her life. I bet she feels that way because that much time away from everything has a way of clearing our minds and giving us a true perspective on what’s happening.

Timely, Wow!
Everything has really sucked lately – I was hearing nothing but negative comments at work which by the way, is a job I love! But, I kept hearing “not good enough” instead of reacting to my bad outlook. My fiance has backed off – probably reacting to my bad attitude. My family is trying to evict me. Then I made “the list” of wants & haves – I realized the crappy stuff was all my view – life is good, I am rich – then saw your post today! How timely!

Absolutely. My property, business and life was wiped out from a natural disaster. While many people are still looking at what they lost, getting angry and blaming and basically being miserable we chose to look for the positive in the negative and although not fully recovered financially and property wise, we are mentally in a much better place.

This is great! Because it goes along with the not putting up with any more B.S. in your life, including when you are the one generating it. Choosing between what appear to be two really crappy options is, unfortunately, something all of us have had to do at one time or another. And, while it’s not fun, I totally agree that making the decision and acting on it is much better than sitting in the midst of inertia.

So a few years ago, I got back from living in South Korea, where I was writing educational textbooks, and found myself in the U.S., but having a hard time getting a job. I had a Master’s degree, 15 years of professional experience in editing/writing/communications and … nothing. My choice was either go back to South Korea, where I had not been happy and had suffered quite a bit of racial and sexual discrimination on a daily basis, starve and/or end up living on someone’s floor for a while, or take a job working on the docks moving freight.

I took the job working on the docks. It was terrible. The work situation was brutal and I was surrounded by people I had absolutely nothing in common with. I disliked that job intensely. And I knew that I wanted to make my dream of living and working in other countries a reality, but I wanted to do it online so I could live and work wherever I wanted to.

So, I worked that job and then I went home at night and applied for contract work, focused on writing/editing/teaching contracts I could do online from anywhere. Within 4 months of taking that job, had found a contract that I could do from anywhere, but it didn’t make me enough to pay for life in the U.S. I knew I didn’t want to go back to Asia, even though I was making enough to live in many countries there, because I had already lived there a few times.

Instead, I did some quick research, moved to Central America, learned Spanish, built a whole journalistic website in Spanish and have recently launched my own online education business. (Straight Up Talk Education: http://www.straightuptalk.com). All from down here. All on my own.

Maybe if I hadn’t taken that crap job working on the docks (it really sucked!), I wouldn’t have been so insistent that I live my dream lifestyle.

Now I have other issues that are trying to distract me from my main goals and, you know what, I tell them to talk to the hand! I have a mission, I’m on it and nothing is going to stop me.

Thanks for the great work, Marie. This video reminds me of the one you did for someone who talked about being handed a “shit sandwich.” Same theme, different take and funny music. As always.

Nice video. This makes me think of that time I got stuck in the middle of China after having a mutual parting from horrible job with a non-profit, had $200 in cash, no other resources or ways to get resources and no clues what to do next. And no way to get back home, for sure.

Not a fun situation.

So, first, I panicked. Then I got depressed. And then I got on my computer and jammed for a week solid sending out resumes. Got a job in another nearby Asian country, where I didn’t really want to be — I just wanted to go home! — got them to pay for the flight there and worked several hard months to save enough money to get back home. Where I went to grad school right away.

I learned how to work the online job system, how to get myself out of the middle of a foreign country with next to nothing moneywise and how to focus enough to send out a grad school app in the midst of utter panic. Not bad for a totally f&*cked up situation. The thing is, you just never know when you take a position what it’s really going to turn out like, what it will really be like to live in another country and what you can really do … until you are faced with the situation.

In that case, I just stayed focused on the task at hand and refused to be distracted by anything that was trying to get in my way.

Now, to get that singleminded focus back and build my own business. It’s a self-confidence issue, I’m sure of it!

I can not remember any crappy situations. I know i have had them however I really try hard to look forward and not back. I do know that I gain something from almost every situation I am in. I call that growth. I have worked hard at keeping a positive attitude and feel grateful.
There are so many people off in way worse situations than mine. i would never say I have it bad. I do not.

Alisha is using an all or nothing mental filter. “All” of her options for moving forward have some “downsides”; therefore, she does nothing. To make a change in her situation she will need to shift her mindset first. It’s time for her to adjust her sail and [wo]man her vessel and stop trying to control the ocean and worrying about the waves. Lastly, she should repeat the serenity prayer every night before she goes to bed and the moment she set her feet on the ground the next morning.

It’s amazing in all of these stories that what most often comes through in times of suffering or pain or crappy days is that we are given the greatest opportunity to learn more about ourselves! I know that when I get stuck, I get overwhelmed, and it’s easy to temporarily push away that opportunity for self-growth and let myself slip into being victims of my situation. The great news, as everyone has said, is that we can always choose to open ourselves back up to grow, even when it may seem really scary or unfathomable.

I’ve had many life challenges in my 32 years… Most significantly, I’ve lost both of my parents–my dad 9 years ago and my mom last year–and since I’m an only child, I’m now the only one left in my immediate family. All of my history really is a dream–it’s only in my head and mine alone! I’ve often felt alone and misunderstood throughout my life, especially this last year and especially by other women, as I was raised quite unconventionally in many respects. My mom was my custodial parent, and we often had a conflicted relationship. Although this resolved before she died, her death sent me into a huge process of studying particularly psychology and many different spiritual ideas in order to root out and resolve some “weeds” (old habits and more) that no longer served me and were stifling my growth. I had many dark days last summer as I tried to grow in understanding myself and the reasons behind some of my unconscious habitual behaviors–especially chronic people pleasing. But that process was my most significant life-changing one so far, because through it I was able to understand, let go of, and really forgive so many things. I came through it feeling an amazing sense of peace and wholeness, and a knowing that the only person I truly had to learn to chronically please was myself! That was the best lesson of all. No matter how alone I felt, I sensed deep down my connection to all humankind, and I also knew that no matter who came into or left my life, I would always have me! For that reason alone, I was worth my own attention!

Now I feel a deep compassion for so many of those I see or hear of who are angry, depressed, negative, or even violent, and hurting in ways that they are likely not aware of the reasons behind. It has made me want to use my own creativity and do my part to attempt to make self-knowledge, understanding, acceptance, and growth more mainstream. I live in a rural area and fortunately have an amazing husband (who at 35 has also lost both parents) but not really any other local support system besides friends-turned-acquaintances who have seemingly been scared of my recent growth. So I am so thrilled to have recently found this community, as it is proof that there are so many of you who are resilient, energetic, overall positive, and open to growing, and that makes me feel much less alone! Funny how that happens–a couple of weeks ago I was really struggling with the “aloneness” once again, and a few days after that, I discovered this community! Yes–it’s so true–sometimes what seems like the hardest thing life dishes out is really one of our greatest teachers–if we let it be.

Thanks Marie for this video!
Perfect timing as I was starting to fall into my vortex of negative thoughts today (MS, family stuff, yuckity yuck). When I find myself there, I pause…reach in and out. I too, focus on the WWW (what went well)…and express gratitude for all the good in my life…throw some tapping in, and wham bam…I start to feel a tiny bit (or a lot!) better pretty quickly. I call it resetting to get myself out of there!! Gotta remember to hit pause first though!
Thx again…you are amazing!
(One of your B-Schoolers!)
xo

So true, it’s always about changing your perspective, right? Not always the first place I go to though…..tend to get scrappy with the crappy situation for awhile. But it’s just changing your perspective to help you move forward with a new choice. Thanks for this Marie, you’re the best…..love your Q & A Tuesdays!

Thank God Alicia asked this question!
Marie, so grateful for your words of wisdom.
I was stuck in a cycle of crap, I couldnt see past the crap
and all I got was crap because I was only focused on crap!
It’s so liberating that all it takes its a few deep breathes
To become grateful and aware of how awesome that I have the power to
Change focus and choose love & to look on the bright side of life.
To see good in others and myself!
Everything is Wonderful

Marie – I love this episode! I so appreciate your frankness and no-nonsense approach, it’s exactly what I need to hear sometimes.
One challenging situ pops into my mind – I was flattened by a car 10 years ago when I was crossing a pedestrian crossing, and needed to have my knee reconstructed. It took me 6 months to learn to walk again (I couldn’t use crutches as my left shoulder was broken too). I felt deeply low for sometime – until I figured out exactly as you said…there are plenty of people who are far worse off than me at any given time.
I decided to get over myself & focus on making a difference – so I cycled the 2400km length of NZ in 24 days, meeting all the mayors in each city and raising funds for a charity that helps differently-abled athletes do things like run the NYk marathon. That certainly helped me see beyond the end of my nose and get over myself!
Thank you for being such an inspiration Marie!

LOVE this story Fi — I absolutely adore how you took an extremely challenging and disturbing situation and transformed it into something beautiful that made a difference for yourself and others. GO YOU

It reminds me the story of Nick Vujicic.
He was born with no arms and no legs but still managed to build himself as a speaker and a successful author.
Here are some of his resources you can check – really inspiring (:

OMG! I soooooo needed to hear this today. I almost quit my job today. Which would have been stupid because I have so much to pay for while starting my business. Sometimes it’s so hard and you can’t see clearly but I have to stay strong and change my attitude until I change my situation in 9 months. Bring it. woo sa!

I love what you offer! Marie I’ve been in this industry long time and always going though some kind of challenge, I love some of what your teaching
1. We freeze up and become unwilling to make any decision — hoping that somehow, someway, everything will “magically take care of its self!
Thanks Marie!!

I am right now working on turning my way to see things and make me happy for the times I do feel crappy. Cause these are the times that take you a step forward! If everything was like a bed of roses then you would never leave the bed and nothing would ever happen!! So I say thank you for my crappy times that leads me to make a change for something I want and believe in!:)) Bring them on so I can create the life I desire!
Thank you Marie for everything that you do!:))

well this is D-Day in terms of the shizzle hitting the fizzle, I’m shaking, my stomach is in knots and I feel frozen with fear and frustration, and beating myself up for the rubbish choices I have made that have led to this ‘shiz-zone’ that is my life right now. SOOOO….. ping! on goes a light – this is going to make a GREAT chapter in my book – thank you REALLY thanks for this vid – I’m open to gifts from the Universe and its one of those moments where miracles are happening, lots of little ones that are reminding me that essentially I am ok – and that everything is figure-outable
x M x

Recently, I’ve been struggling to find my passion/calling in life. I was in a funk, hating my job, feeling trapped and deciding that all other options weren’t options. I prayed continually for God to open or close a door, to change my heart, anything. One morning I woke up completely at peace. I realized I am paid very well for what I do, I have lots of benefits, and a great team of people that I work with. Is this where I want to be for the next 30 years? I don’t know, but all I can control is today and how I approach it. I am grateful for my blessings and I give thanks to God for the struggles as well. If He brings you to it, He can bring you through it. Think of it as character development. It’s still hard, yo!

As soon as I finish commenting here I am posting your video on my blog. I have had many, many instances where this advice has applied. Just recently I was in the hospital and feeling down because I found out that I have an incurable health condition and that I needed to leave the workforce because I was getting sicker. After about 24 hours of feeling sorry for myself I called my daughter and asked her to bring me a notebook and pencils. I spent the next day writing out all my assets and creating a new life for myself. That is when I made the decision to become a full-time freelance writer and graphic designer. I decided I would create my own income source since not having one is not an option. I have never been happier with my chosen work. If I had not pulled my head out of that deep well of despair I would not have been able to find something to hold on to. I really do believe that it is the tough times that build our character and give us a chance to break out and reach higher. This was a wonderful and inspiring video. I love your stuff and keep it coming!

It is amazing to me how so many of us can help others try to find the positive in a “crappy” situation but are reluctant to in our own life. As I read through the comments I am reminded that everyone has an option when such a situation presents itself. You can face the situation head on and perceive through or you can choose to be defined by it.

Marie,
I so agree with your advice. When I moved back to my home city I was ready to launch my consulting practice…but my husband wanted me to have a “job-job”. I had trouble finding the right one, so I took a less than perfect one and saw it as a real find. I looked for the silver lining and dug in.
At the end of the year, he was ready for me to begin consulting (he saw the imperfections of working in a kind of crappy job) but I had made life-long career and friend connections as a result of the year spent learning new things. Consulting for a year was fun, exciting, and energizing for us both.

AND now I have a wonderful new “job-job” we both are happy with, along with the experience of building a consulting practice that I will step into in a few years. I appreciate the blessings of a crappy job and always have. There is always good!!

I’m not dealing with this right now and yet I am. I’m sitting here reading Dyer’s “Wishes Fulfilled” and I took a break to catch this week’s MarieTV realizing it was Wednesday. And it all resonates so perfectly. It really is a matter of choice & perspective. Such a beautifully simple, and powerful shift in our attention can make such an incredible difference.

When I get down about all the things I’m not digging about “life right now” I remind myself of a few things:

1) My life right now is all a matter of things I’ve decided to do & believe.
2) There’s always something good no matter how crappy things seem. While this may seem a little woo-woo to some, there is at least one thing I can be happy for – eg. I woke up this morning.
3) I don’t want to be around Darcy Doldrums in other people, so I should be mindful of that for myself as well.

I loved the quote by Maya Angelou you included as well! Thank you for sharing your light with the world & just being you! <3 ya doll!

Hello…
My crappy situation is my chronic illness.
Took me a very long time to “ADJUST” simply because I was waiting for it to go away and start living my life.
Decided to use it to inspire….MYSELF. Yes a little humor there. Ironically as I was inspiring myself, those around me began to be inspired. Very few know of my illness, Lupus, but I receive many messages daily about the posts on my multiple facebook pages.
Turned out remarkably well.
Still ill, but happy anyway.

Melanie
I understand where you are coming from. I have COPD and I just turned fifty so I was no where near ready to deal with such nonsense. (and no…i don;t smoke). Some days are really tough but if I keep moving forward I can handle it. I will say that the little moments in life are much more important to me now. Since I am no longer able to work outside of the home I now have my own freelance writing and graphic design business and I honestly wish I had started this years ago.
I wish you the best and hang in there.

Marie,
Thanks for the video. I can relate. My wife of 13 years moved back to Argentina, her homeland with her parents. There is some enmeshment with her parents who did not give her guidance to stay with me. We do not have kids. My faith, Catholicism and desire to take care of wife are motivators to try one more time.

She is building a house there and wants me to go. Here are my options; divorce, stay stuck which I did for 6 months after she left or move there and at least try it for a year. I recently cose the 3rd option.

I have had counseling and now I have a coach who is helping me with the transition. Being stuck sucks. Thanks for your help.

I have adopted the strategy of “what’s the worse case scenario?” as well. Usually when I do that, I find out that it’s really not as catastrophic as I thought and I am able to start moving in a more positive direction. Much better than analysis paralysis!

“The Power of YOU begins when you turn your stumbling blocks into stepping stones.” ~ Susan Wagers

I personally believe that anyone can achieve greatness while reaching remarkable breakthroughs. It’s all about how you move forward and not dwelling on the past.

In 2008, I went from being extremely successful in the corporate world to downsized and unemployed, I was a newly divorced single parent of 3 young children, it was either give up my family farm lands or my own business in the divorce settlement, I experienced the sudden death of my mother and the leukemia diagnosis of my daughter.

Some might look at my life and say it’s devastating. And while it hurt and sometimes continues to hurt, the truth is, I found these challenges to actually have been motivational and inspirational – for me.

I am living proof. I built it once, I lost it all and I built it again.

I am now an award winning business woman and the owner of multiple businesses, a professional speaker, and a published author.

The dynamic impact of successfully walking my talk, has qualified me to share the practical tools that I used, so you can move forward to your personal breakthrough.

Watch for my soon-to-be-released book, “Stepping Stones of Power: Your Blueprint To Succeed In Any Business”.

Inside look: When you’ve said Enough is Enough and want to move from pain to power, your blueprint must include the habits and organizational skills needed to get unstuck and move forward with a winning attitude.

Thank you so much for answering this question as the universe works in mysterious ways. In other words, I’ve been stuck in mud up to my neck recently and only realized last night that something needs to change.

Being warrior over Fibromyalgia every day is difficult as it is. Throw in my husband’s current battle against Lymphoma (after being born with Cystic Fibrosis and having a double lung transplant 8 years ago), my being the sole source of income for my family and being an entrepreneur…. well girl, you have yourself a giant sucky mud puddle!

Through this all, I’ve kept a positive attitude and I have loads of faith. The thing is… the more stress there is… the more pain and sickness my body goes through. So, last night I realized that I need to make some decisions about my life and business.

Thank you for this Marie… and thank you to everyone who shared their stories and struggles. It’s something I guess we all have in common… we’re all the same and just try to take it one day at a time…. I am sending a virtual hug to everyone here 😉

Have I struggled?… oh I think so but I now take my struggles as blessings… here is a bit of my story and how I turned things around:

I’ve always had a nurturing helping personality…but I was always a creative gal and pursued my own graphic design business 10 years ago. (I was 22!) My passions and courage paid off. Great money and I was busy so much so that my husband (boyfriend at the time) quit his job and we joined forces. Got a studio and focused on business. Good times led to a wedding in ’05 and more good times led to a baby in ’07!!! 😉

But having your own business when you’re the soul of that business is really hard with a baby (it’s not that it’s impossible) but for me, because I had a perfectionistic approach and would never ask for help because well you know, I was Superwoman! ahem. I continued through the sleepless nights with doing it all, not slowing down. (wish I had a different plan in place)
Because…. somehow when my babe was 4 months old, I got hit hard with a disease that shattered my life.

Over a period of a year, I lost most of my muscle strength to the point that I could barely eat and swallow food, I needed help in getting off the toilet! (those good times were gone…) I needed help to walk outside and I could not climb stairs, do groceries or lift my baby on a swing.
At this time our marriage was also hit hard, as you can imagine and we were maxing out our line of credit and credit cards…

I was put on antidepressants (ha, not treated at all for the illness I had!) until my husband googled the illness I had and finally got help. But medically there is no cure anyway. I had the option of taking hardcore drugs that would surely bring on diabetes, cancer etc…
So while I was crying into my pillow for the billionth time and planning ways I could end my life right now. I thought of how my daughter would live without a mother. How could I do this to her.

I had a hit-rock-bottom moment when I realized that even though I could not control my body, I could still control what I put in my mouth.
So, one step forward, two steps back, I managed to clean up my diet and nourish my body from the inside out. I researched everything and started to heal with the foods I ate. It wasn’t overnight, but I saw small improvements as the weeks went by that kept me moving forward.

Now, I am living a normal life and inspiring others to take control of their health and life. My blog Pure Ella has inspired a new creative outlet for my photography and graphic design skills. My diet change is now fun, inventive and it inspires others to eat healthy. I get to share what I love, present it beautifully and help others.

I recently wrote two recipe eBooks that were received really well, and one very important person ended up looking at them – that got me a great job designing a cookbook! (maybe more will follow – or maybe I will have my own one day ;))

So now, I’m thrilled and blessed to report that I was able to combine all my passions into what I absolutely LOVE to do!
I still juggle with my graphic design business, I mainly do work for repeat customers in the comfort of my home where I can be a mom and follow my passions every day which is creating recipes and writing my blog.

Our marriage even is better than ever and our bills for our credit cards are at $0. 😉

Change doesn’t come easy, but sometimes even in the darkest moments we CAN turn our life around with just one single thing : a willingness to try.

My secret is to change what you eat!
(You really are what you eat!) You don’t have to be sick to eat better. But it’s pure science to know that certain foods make us sluggish and anxious, and that other foods make us vibrant, have energy, and help us think better and even look better. I healed myself from a devastating illness… but I don’t stop here. I love getting more energy and focus with the nurturing side of food now – and that’s what I see as a blessing!

Happiness can start on the plate! I’ve seen this with myself, my husband and with others that have shared their stories.

Good luck everyone 😉
You know what I would do if I was faced with another smackdown ~ I’d have a big green smoothie! Cheers!
~ Ella

So True. There were recently two situations for me and for the first situation, I had a positive attitude at first and I had a great week! I managed it all even through the yucky part. The following week, the situation lingered on and the negative stuff started creeping in my mind and forget about it when I started talking about it, it just got worse because I did choose what was wrong and was looking for negative support. With that attitude, my days were dragging and I wasn’t getting anything productive done and my neck muscles even started to hurt. My neck was stiff and I didn’t sleep well…no fun.

In my next situation, I chose to find the positive part immediately and when it came up in a conversation even my friends found it yucky. I told them how I looked at it (in a positive way) and convinced them it was a good situation. The next thing I knew, it didn’t seem so negative after all because I made it positive. No neck pain over that one…what do you know!

For a couple days, I’ve been stuck with a “crappy situation” and DRIVING myself coo-coo for coco puffs trying to figure out what decision I am going to make. I’ve been looking at the crap of the situation instead of the positive side. The positive side is that I saw the warning signs and even though it is hard and I am going to hurt someone’s feelings, making the decision to say no is actually a good thing. It’s actually a blessing that I got to see the warning signs so I can say no.

Marie, Thank you just doesn’t cover it. And I’m grateful for Alisha’s crappy situation and asking the question!

I needed this message today. Why God sent me here I don’t know but he’s smarter than me so I’m listening. Obviously, I’m a guy and judging by the people making comments, their aren’t too many guys here. You’re remarkable and so is your message. I’ll be back for sure.

Life is a series of crappy situations designed to build our strength! I have been a single mom all 14 years of my daughter’s life and did not have the the support from family and a network of friends, nor from her father.

For various crappy reasons I’ve been on my own for quite a long time. I lost all confidence in myself because of this and developed extremely low self esteem over time. However, during these years I also started an overhaul about 7 years ago. It has been long and trying and (to me) very slow progress, but I learned to become completely self reliant and independent with all aspects of my life.

I’ve been through countless crappy relationships, job situations, health issues, crisises, people taking advantage of me and my money even when I didn’t have much and more, without the luxury of a network to lean on for emotional support and a sense of belonging somewhere. But in the end that taught me at a very deep level what I am actually capable of.

Don’t give up. Whatever you’re going through, these hard times are designed to strengthen you and make you realize that you’re way stronger than you realize! You’re being taught to realize this!

So I learned to tell myself that when an obstacle hits, its another challenge for me to learn about myself and how strong I actually am versus how weak I thought the world was telling me I am.

Hi Marie,
I am a brazilian girl, and I just love your videos!!! You are pretty damn talented. My life has changed for the better since I found this website.
I would like to ask you a question: How to know if he is the right guy?
Thanks and much, much, much love!
Mayla.

Hi Mayla,
Marie did a video on that very topic! (how to know if he is the right guy.) I remember watching it and thinking it was SO helpful. I can’t find the link right now, but I wanted to tell you that you might really like her book Make Every Man Want You which really helped me clarify what I intuitively felt I should do in my relationship (and I’m now happily married!).
Much love and good luck!
Genevieve

I know exactly how this woman feels. The only thing that worked for me was reconnecting with my spiritual self. Marie, you are right, once I changed my attitude things were able to move forward for me. Thank you so much for this insight.

My crappy situation was/is to have had a traumatic brain injury while I was going up the ladder in the corporate world. A high potential employee I was, but that life is now over, had to say good bye to Julien 1.0, and start to embrace Julien 2.0, which is still in the making..

I could have kept on being frustrated about letting go of my old self and aspirations. Instead little by little I became aware of the opportunities and allowed myself to be positive about this new life.

It’s so true that if you believe every option is crappy, you can’t really make a decision at all because you only see the negative stuff.

Using Marie’s approach is definitely helpful, and it also provides another benefit: When you’re in a more positive, forward thinking mindset you might discover that there are more options than you thought there are. You could find yourself considering a new option that you dismissed as impossible before.

This has happened to me when I found myself being a depressed and disillusioned college student who thought the only way to live life was to get an okay job, and live an okay life. Once I decided to see if there was another way, I stumbled upon countless inspiring people who were rocking their lives on their own terms. Now I’m doing the same.

I encourage you to challenge your assumptions about your situation and see if there are more options than you realized.

Chiming in a bit late, but this “A” reminds me of my own situation last year when my husband and I bought a place in the sticks and were starting an organic growing business. We had a fire, a flood and a car accident within five months. But in each event something helped us move forward and eventually we decided to sell and move on, not because of the difficulties, but because we learned a lot about what we really want, and the property and that business were not really what we yearn for.

There’s also a great Taoist story about how we see situations:

A man owned a beautiful mare which was praised far and wide. One day the horse disappeared. Neighbors offered the man sympathy, but he said simply, “That’s the way it is.”
Later the lost mare returned, followed by a wild stallion. Neighbors congratulated the man, but he just said, “That’s the way it is.”
Still later, his only son fell off the stallion and broke his leg. Once again, neighbors expressed their sympathy, but the man just said, “That’s the way it is.”
Soon thereafter, war broke out and all the young men except the man’s lame son were killed in battle. Neighbors were amazed at the man’s good luck. His son was the only young man left alive in the village. But despite all the turmoil, gains and losses, he gave the same reply, “That’s the way it is.”

The work is demanding, especially dealing with some of the fall out in our community (people blaming others, passing on rumors to make themselves feel less fear, and other muck). I’ve never been in more need of regular reminders (and spiritual smackdowns!) to stay positive and take the high road.

Appreciate the two I got today – this brilliant one by you (Thank you, Marie!!) and a posting this morning by a Facebook friend that asked: “What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?”

Realized that part of my impending funk was getting drawn into focusing on a big setback experienced last week. Reshifted to gratitude for all the good work being done to grow stronger youth and help communities create an environment in which no life is lost to suicide. Onward!

I loved this! The best part for me to hear is Action is Magic! I so often paralyze myself by doing nothing because I don’t know what is the best thing to do. When I am paralyzed and do nothing it creates anxiety and stress. Even if it isn’t the right decision, making one and taking action is the best thing I can do. If I’m wrong then I learned something and now have a better chance at moving forward in the correct way…and if by chance I am right then even better. Either way I need to take action!

When I was 42, I was single, a sole proprietor and in a very tortured relationship . . . . then I was diagnosed with leukemia. You’d think that would have been a very bad day, which it was, but from it has come some of the greatest gifts of my life.
After treatment the cancer went into remission but it did return a little less than two years later which required me to be retreated . . . . that was the summer of 2001.
Since then my leukemia has remained in remission but I still continue to live my life by putting one foot in front of the other, trying to never take anything for granted, choosing to be happy and allowing myself to be amused by the littlest things. Life is awesome!

Marie,
This has got to be one of my FAVOURITE Marie TV episodes. Thank you SO much. I am going to send it to my clients who are feeling stuck. It always helps to hear this message in different forms. Your version is AWESEOME! A hint of the song ” I like big butts” is genius!
Nikki Smith
B Schooler

Hi Marie! Thank you for this episode! I think what you shared today is so simple and yet so profound. I believe if we would all change our mindset to an attitude of gratitude and chose to focus on the good stuff in life, people would be much much happier and at peace. This shift had a huge impact on my life. There is always something to be grateful for, even if it is “just” your breath. Everyday we are confronted with a plethora of opportunities and possibilities and there is always a lesson to learn.
Much love,

I once came lucid after an extended coma, recovery from that was a difficult time as far as positive thoughts go. My goals are what kept me going even though they had become unreachable. It came to be that I surpassed those unreachable goals.
Discovering my ability to accomplish my goals against all odds has opened my eyes to the fact that we all have super powers. Whenever I need positive energy now I look around at all the potential in the world.

This topic ROCKS!! I’ve always had a pretty positive look on life but never had I imagined that it was going to be THE life saving strenght that would pull me through the loss of our first baby girl. She taught me that life is so preacous and tha it does matter a huge deal what you make out of it. Because of that gorgeous little girl I’m now able to help others dealing with loss and grief. Your message was spot on, Marie!!! It’s how you choose to act or see things that determine if the situation is crappy or not Go out and do good in the world, you all!! Love from beautiful Switzerland

Marie, this was perfect and you are skilled at encouraging us to examine ourselves, our thoughts, and patterns to see what doesn’t work for us.

Yesterday, my brother called about a lump on his throat; he’s 24. He visited the doctor, and it could be cancer or a glitchy thyroid.

Instead of freaking out or feeling sad for him, I asked him to talk to me about what he was grateful for today.

He said he was grateful to have found the lump now and also grateful for my dad’s response which was – we’ll go into fight mode if we have to. He also shared that the experience had him reflect on why he was sad to hear the news in the first place (he has been resigned about life for a few months).

I agreed to call him every day until we get a diagnosis to talk about what we are grateful for, and said talking to him daily will be my biggest gift.

Focusing on what’s awesome is sometimes the only thing I have control over and it easily disappears from view what doesn’t matter.

Fantastic vid as always Marie! I was a procrastinator this week but finally got around to watching it. It was just the dose of positive thinking I needed. I have been in a non-action rut for quite a while now and have been desperately trying to create change in my life again. Two and a half years ago I left my marriage/relationship of almost 12 years and changed everything about myself and my life. I was super happy! New me, new job, new outlook. Now I find I am craving change again but I’m stuck in the inaction zone. I need to make changes in my career and break out on my own but have no idea which direction to head in. There are so many options but have this fear of going in the wrong direction. Your vid helped so much. Any positive direction is better than staying in a no action zone. I need to move forward! Thanks for the inspiring vids!

Wow Michelle! I just saw your post and it sounds just like mine! I was in my marriage/relationship for 11yrs when it ended. It is nice to see another woman come out on top and make the right choices for herself. I think we far too often lose ourselves due to taking care of everyone else. I am 34 yrs old and I finally met “me”. Sometimes we need the wrong decisions to help us make the right ones.
I wish you the best in your journey!
Anna

Hi Marie,
I love this Q & A! I was faced with divorce a couple of years ago and after being a stay at home mom for 9yrs, I had to figure something out quick! I was going to have to support myself and 3 small children and although I graduated with a Bachelor in Arts in 00′, I knew I needed something more. I enrolled in an online program to obtain a diploma in Residential Planning. After 15 months and many 3am mornings, I graduated in March and I am now pursuing my own Professional Organizing business. I took my crappy situation of my marriage ending and turned it into a new chance, a new beginning. I could not be happier and I have learned so much about myself in the process.
Thank you for your always inspiring Q & A’s
Best,
Anna A.

When I was 22 (ALL IN ONE MONTH) I lost my job (due to downsizing), my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me, my car was stolen and I was being evicted from my apartment (gorgeous little carriage house but the land lord never got zoning to rent!). Talk about the dookie hitting the fan!! I had no family or friends I could live with and no where to turn, but inside!

Action is magic!

OK…I cried for like 30 minutes and then went into high action gear!

I contacted a head hunter (this was before computers!) and applied for every available job I was qualified for and took the first one that gave me a shot!

Read the “roomate” section of the local newspaper (again before computers) and found a great roomate!

Made a deal on a used car where the owner was willing to allow me to make payments until I could pay the loan!

Answered few personal ads in Boston Magazine and met a really great guy that I was not only hot! but warm and loving!

Attitude is everything! There is a strong goddess inside all of us and when you gather the gumption to not let anything keep you down, no situation is impossible!!

“Action IS magic” as I have proved to myself over and over again, yet the last few days I fell into a funk. Just hearing that statement got me out of the house and it’s remarkable how well may day has gone. Goodbye funk! Thanks Marie!

Thank you so much! As usual, I find what I need exactly when I need it!
I´ve just come back from one month traveling and found myself unemployed and kinda lonely, confused and scared.
These few words simply made me see the possibilities in my situation which I wasn´t able to see before.
Thank you again. I´m so excited to start my new projects now!!

“The Opposite to Resistance is Assistance” Steven Fieldman. This is what my company is all about, helping people write and finish their book, create their art project and create a better career strategy for their career. My biggest heart break is when talented people who can inspire the world quit or live way too small. Thanks Marie! This is a goodie!

great video. I am going through the simmillar situations at the present personally and professionally. This lesson came right on time. I can apply it in both areas to find a way what to do next. thank you and keep up the great job.

I am a soldier in the United States Army. When I deployed to Iraq in 2007 I found myself attached to a unit that I differed with on many occasions
. At first it lead to some pretty stressful situations. Then I realized the deployment was not about me, it was about fulfilling a mission. From that point on I started modifying how I think. When I ran into a situation that might lead to a potential conflict I remembered that the unit was not there to please me, it was there to fulfill its obligation to the US. It methods of operation was irrelevant, what mattered was accomplishing what needed doing. So my thinking went from focusing on immediate situations, to focusing on the long-term objectives.

I have had many situations in my adult life from major illnesses while raising small children to losing my job just as my daughter was moving across country to go to school. Everything in between. I always know that it is my attitude that gets me through everything but about three years ago I had the real 2×4 to the head when I was rushed to the hospital for internal bleeding and almost died. I decided it was really time to change my life in a major way. So when I lost my job 1 1/2 years later I realized that it was for the best and I have now started my own company and I know that I will succeed in it. There is no looking back, but that doesn’t mean that I do not need to hear it every so often. I get back logged on your TV slots but you give me so much motivation. Thank you.

Hi Marie, thanks for your video. I run my own business and have to make someone redundant this week, a difficult situation and I feel ‘sucky’ for the person who will lose their job, the team who will be upset and that I will lose this person. I watched your video and it has given me the lift I needed to go in there feeling less negative. I won’t feel better about the situation but I can at least try and look for positives…they are positives for the business though, not for my team member. Tough.

Wonderful message Marie So many things have recently gone wrong in my start up which has made me feel really negative, I’m vowing to practice this positive wisdom going forward. Knew I could go back through old Marie TV episodes to find the answer I was looking for!

I’m just now catching up on all of your Marie TV videos and love them. They are so inspirational and educational as well. I love them.

I really liked how you mentioned in this video to look at life’s events that are not always good with good eyes. It really does help. Although, I’m still working on looking at events with positive eyes, I will say i’m probably at 89-91% of the way there. It does take practice and determination to make the best of every single situation.