There is no personal solution to systemic problems, and feminism/women is a systemic problem.

Social Proof

With my last entry I talked about why young men go after cougars, for “experience”. In this case the needed “experience” is not expereince necessarily in the sense of having done something before. The issue is really “social proof”.

For example, if a man is perceived to be in a company of attractive women, or is associated with them, then his perceived social value and attractiveness will be perceived to be greater. The implied cognition in this case would be “All those girls seem to really like him, there must be something about him that’s high value”.If he is seen to be rejected by many women, his social value will be judged negatively. The implied cognition is then “I just saw him being rejected by many women, there is probably a good reason why they don’t like him”.

This lays bare the problem. It doesn’t matter what you do, how much you make, or how many positive qualities you have. What matters is to a woman is how other women perceive you. This is problem that I and other men I know suffer from. I know men in the same situation as me who have tried to solve the problem by going to a hooker. It didn’t solve the problem because going to a hooker didn’t provide social proof.

11 responses to “Social Proof”

True enough, but there are always lots of exceptions. After I got married (at 46 for the first time) and we had a child, we moved 2800 miles away for my new job. No one here in the community where we’ve now lived for eleven years has ever known me as anything but “Melissa’s” husband and “Cody’s” dad, but the loser tag has still stuck with me. I KNOW the single women in my office snicker behind my back “Good grief, who would be desperate enough to marry HIM???”

” It doesn’t matter what you do, how much you make, or how many positive qualities you have. What matters is to a woman is how other women perceive you.”
It’s called Herd Mentality. Basically, women are incapable of individual thought so each women lets the group do her thinking for her. If you look about, you will notice that women do this with just about every decision they are faced with.

” We are not being judged on our positive (or negative) qualities. We are being judged on how other women are judging us.”
This is a variation on the above. The important thing to keep in mond is that what women think of you and your worth as a human being are two completely unrealted concepts. That women love asshats and those same asshats attract women sequentially is proof of that. I have seen numerous women fall flat on their faces after being fucked over – literally – by guys they should be staying well clear of. Indeed, if other women had stayed clear of the said asshats, then they would not be attracting and hurting new women. In this sense, women are indeed their own enemies.

” What matters is to a woman is how other women perceive you. This is problem that I and other men I know suffer from. I know men in the same situation as me who have tried to solve the problem by going to a hooker. It didn’t solve the problem because going to a hooker didn’t provide social proof.”

But in each new encounter, that specific woman doesn’t know you are a virgin/have no social proof. I can see how if one is known as a virgin in high school or college it can be extremely difficult to get out of that label. But out in the general public, where no one knows your past?

Or are you talking about an ever-present lack of sociosexual confidence plaguing your own mind?