Since the kids were babies, my husband and I always made it a point to hold them during the actual worship. As they grew, they became very accustomed to immediately lying their head on our shoulders and nestling into the crook of our necks. From birth to their current ages, five and six, we have held them and embraced these precious moments of the church service.

My daughter always runs to me to hold her first. A song ends, and then we switch kids. It’s always been that way, it’s my normal on a Sunday morning. Last week though she tapped me as I sang. “Mommy, can Dad hold me now?” “Sure, when the song is over. Why do you want to switch now though?” She kind of giggled and then said, “Mommy, you’re just too small. Daddy can hold me better.”

I KNEW this day was coming. I read an article several years ago about this mom who was reminiscing of the days she was able to hold her son. She talked about how she always wondered when the day would come that he was ‘too big’ to be held, and that day of course came, breaking her heart when it did. I actually regret ever finishing that article, Y’all, because from that point on I thought about it ALL the time. And my son, who is six, has gotten SO dang tall, his long legs dangle way past my knees and almost to my shins. Holding him on my hip can be done, but is incredibly difficult; so when it has been my ‘turn’ to hold him for a song, I generally sit down and tickle his back. That same Sunday though, as he tried to nestle onto my shoulder he just couldn’t stop moving. “Pierson, be still, buddy,” I said. “I’m not comfortable, Mom,” he replied. And I knew he wasn’t. As a five foot two woman, I KNOW that I am little. My genetics have me a little bonier than maybe an average person? And I knew when he was squirming and moving that this too, would not be ‘comfortable’ for him much longer.

Babies turn into toddlers, who turn into kids, who I know will turn into teenagers and adults. Am I alone in my struggle of being broken hearted over this fact of life? I know that each stage is wonderful, and truthfully, I have loved ALL of their ages. [Okay…our daughter’s “threes” was VERY challenging…but still, I think I would go back for a while to that age?] My friend Chrissy recently said on Instagram about her new baby girl, “I would say, don’t grow up, but if you never got bigger than we couldn’t go get our nails done and watch chick flicks together, so I’ll just say I’m enjoying YOU in all the phases of life.”

NAILED IT.

That quote is so spot on with my life right now that I’m holding on really tightly to that truth. I may not be able to hold my children the way I once could…but I so love all our experiences together now that they’re older. Earlier this week Reese plopped down on the couch with me and asked if she could watch my favorite show Heartland with me [totally nerdy and cheesy horse show if you don’t know]. Also in her prayers, she prays for our horses DAILY. She even includes Addie, the mare who Paddy has lived with for six months. She has a GIANT heart and I know that she admires me a lot in this current season of life. How sweet is that?! I mean really? My daughter LIKES me, and I’m also holding tight to THAT amazing blessing. And with my son, I know that I can spend quality time with him building Legos, taking him for Queso at El Nopal, or browsing the toy aisle at Target and he will have the BEST time. And I also know that while he is bigger now…he still needs me. If he loses sight of me in a crowd, I can see immediate panic in his eyes. At bedtime, we still cuddle. He still holds my hand, and hugs me tight multiple times a day.

They’re growing. And we can’t stop it. So I may as well embrace it. And yes, I may be little, but so is my own mama and I tell you what: every time I get to spend time with her in Michigan, I often plop down on her lap and still get those back tickles :) I cherish hers and I’s relationship. The fact that she’s the one I want to call every single day after work. She’s the one I want to text all my horse photos to, the one I can cry with, laugh with, and pray with. If I’m thirty and have this type of relationship with my mom, I know that the same can be true of my kids when they’re on their own. [Well, I can pray at least..!]

New mamas, hold tightly to those new and tiny babies of yours. And I’ll hold ever so tightly to my five and six year old, who soon, won’t fit on this hip of mine anymore.

Do you have a cookie that is your childhood staple? I have several, but one of them is my mom’s famous Chocolate No Bakes. I was always fascinated at the simplicity of not BAKING a cookie [okay truthfully, it still fascinates me?] and hers always turned out SO GOOD.

Except one time, when my dad made a batch. He put four teaspoons of cocoa in when it was supposed to be Tablespoons. We wondered what in the world happened and why they weren’t chocolatey and then he realized ooooohhhhhh, not nearly enough cocoa! [I love you, Dad!]

These cookies are the perfect blend of good texture, sweetness, and chocolate. Fun fact, I argued with my husband NUMEROUS times about how putting peanut butter in a Chocolate No Bake would NOT be good. And then he showed my mom’s recipe which low and behold, calls for 1/2 cup of peanut butter. (Remember, my MOM used to make these, not me. Sorry, Mom!)

Boil the cocoa, sugar, butter and milk together for 1 minute. Take off heat and add the oatmeal, peanut butter, and vanilla. Stir quickly, and drop by large spoonfuls on waxed paper. Then cool completely.

Our kids were equally fascinated by this type of cookie and it was pretty adorable. “I want to taste the dough!” they said. I explained that this dough was different and at first, they protested, “No! I like the regular dough, normal dough!” and then they got a big spoonful of the delicious chocolate goodness :) They were completely sold!

Pierson is in a stage where he thinks it’s REALLY funny to not smile for pictures; or to make ME laugh instead of him smiling. And Reese is the most animated extroverted child I’ve ever met. But that’s beside the point. These kids are pretty wonderful and so is my husband, who really is the one who pretty much made these cookies….(Thanks, Babe.)

Do you like Chocolate No Bakes? If so, PLEASE try this recipe. My mom gave me a recipe box for my wedding and I love being able to refer back to my childhood favorites, such as this!

For a couple of years the word ‘beloved’ has been on my heart. The word “be.loved” meansdearly loved, a much loved person. In an interview once, a woman asked me, "What do you wish you could tell childhood Ashley?" It was a question that really stumped me. I felt flustered and nervous and like I could probably tell little kid Ashley a million different helpful things, but spilling out of my mouth was this:

"I would tell her to live loved."

In 2016 I launched a series called The Beloved Woman, where I featured women across the U.S who I felt embodied grace and talent, and who were empowering other women with their inspiration. While I would love to say that series has turned into something huge, I found pretty quickly that I didn’t have as much time as I wanted to photograph and interview women. There are so many women with incredible and important stories to tell, I hope that over the years I can get into a better rhythm or at least figure out how God wants to use me within that series.

Over the last several months or so, I have been trying to use Instagram as a tool for ministry (as well as a place to do business and earn income.) It is a gigantic platform with millions of users, so what better way to talk about the Gospel there. We who use it know that the algorithm is and can be very tricky; I think social media experts say that maybe 3% of our followers actually SEE our work. I decided that I didn’t really care about the algorithm anymore, that I just want to share what I am passionate about. I felt called to start asking people how I could pray for them, and before I knew it, my direct messages were overflowing with requests and notes of thanks from followers who appreciated the offer. After my most recent Instagram story telling viewers I would pray for them, I felt a giant nudge in my heart that perhaps this could turn into something bigger. I immediately called my sister in law, Bethany Renee, and spit out all my thoughts/ideas/questions. She’s been really great at helping me compile my cluttered notions into an action plan, and ultimately we decided that creating a Facebook Group for women in need was the current way to go.

Here is where I want to welcome YOU to the Beloved Women Collective!! Sign up easily HERE, and your name will be added to my mailing list specifically designated for those of you who want to be a part of this mission. You will get instant access to the Facebook Page, where you will be able to ask for prayer, find scripture, and ask for advice or help. The Page is a safe place, free of judgement, and is a community of women dedicated to lifting each other up both in prayer, and in heart. It will not be a place of judgement, or to degrade. You can say, “I need prayer for…..” and be assured that women will pray diligently for you. It is my hope through this online community that we can grow closer to each other AND feel God’s love through our interactions with one another.

Sisters, you are beloved. And I feel like it is my mission to help you believe this truth. I want to know you better, to encourage you, to wrap my arms around you, to challenge you to think deeper about yourselves; so that in turn, soon, YOU will feel the love. Do you know OTHER women who would be interested in joining this Group? Please share this Blog Post with them so that they can sign up too!

As always, feel free to comment below your thoughts or any questions, or shoot me an email! I am so excited for this movement and to see where God takes the Beloved Women Collective. Special thanks to my sister in law Beth who got this up and running for me, and SHE Y’all, just launched a new business called Curative Brands. She is SO creatively minded, she can help YOU organize your goals and dreams too.

JOIN THE BELOVED WOMEN COLLECTIVE!

WELCOME I'm Ashley! A blogger + photographer living in Kentucky with my husband of seven years and two toddlers. When I'm not writing, snapping photos or chasing the kids around, you can find me baking something sweet while chugging re-heated coffee.

CATEGORIES

CURRENTLY BOOKING

Getting married in 2017, or just a fan of my work and want to shoot together? I'm based in Kentucky, available for travel, and currently booking weddings, lifestyle shoots, family sessions + more! Click the button above to get in touch!