Carole Bell column: The final stage of classical approach can apply to parenting 05-19-2008

Published 7:00 pm, Sunday, May 18, 2008

Recently, I have been writing about using a classical approach to parenting. Under those guidelines, children ages five to nine are taught rules and information that they will use in the future. This is called the grammar stage. They easily memorize Scripture at this age. They soak up and remember all that their parents teach them. By the time they are 10 years old, they should know all the facts they will need to distinguish between right and wrong behavior.

Next, the logic stage is the period in which children developmentally question everything. Therefore, it is a good time to allow them to question what they have been taught. Some might disagree with me, saying that children should never be allowed to question what their parents teach them. Most children, by the time they reach this stage, are going to question. If they are not being allowed to discuss opposing points of view, they will learn to keep quiet in the presence of their parents. They will take their questions elsewhere. I think most parents will agree that they would rather the questioning be done at home. At least, parents will then be able to know what their child is thinking and have some opportunity to guide his thoughts.

The next stage in a classical education is the rhetoric stage. That approach can also be applied to parenting as well as to biology, history, language and other subjects. If parents have followed through with the first two stages reviewed above, their child is ready to learn to express his positions in a coherent and convincing manner.

This column certainly does not lend itself to a comprehensive study of rhetoric. However, it is a good place to look at how some understanding of rhetoric will enhance an adolescent's ability to cope with his environment. To function in today's society one needs to be able to express himself as well as to recognize the fallacies in what he hears.

Next week, I will write about how parents can use this stage of development to help their child navigate the murky waters of adolescence.

(Carole A. Bell is a Licensed Professional Counselor and a retired public school educator and counselor.)