If you’re reading this, it means that you survived Monday, the most dastardly day of the week. For it is on this day that we are forced to return to our places of business, to do the bidding of others in the hopes that we may one day fulfill our own dreams. Unless you’re last name is Thoreau and you’ve got a friend who’ll loan you a nice bit of land, chances’re that you’re not taking yourself off the grid. Instead, you’re going to deal with a bullshit commute to get to job you don’t love so as to be able to pay the bills.

Yikes.

But since we’re all in this together, we might as well pool our minds together and come up with an antidote to workweek ennui. Thissere’s the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE – the weekly post in which I share with you the various ways I’ll be entertaining myself until the weekend. Your task, should you choose to accept it, is to hit up the comments section and show off the Fun-Weapons you’ll be using while we pillage Boringville.

Hello there, fellow drone-bees! The workweek is upon us yet again, and we once again find ourselves hiding our true desires behind dead-skin masks. For forty hours a week, even the strongest and most original amongst us assume the personae of the tired and damned. In these times, we are nothing if not the hollow shells we’ve worked so hard to fill during off-hours.

Gatsby is jolted in the middle of the night, awakened by the American nightmare that sees him whimpering ,”Gatz…Minnesota…Dan Cody…”

Draper drinks and screws and sells himself into a life of luxury, and yet cannot shed the skin of Whitman’s despondency.

Kent writes the headlines that Superman inspires, but Kal-El will never get over the fact that he is the last survivor of a doomed lineage.

In spite of our most transcendental aspirations, there will always be forces working to keep us tethered to the material realities. And the most formidable of these forces is the bastard-thief known as the workweek. So there’s any hope of saving ourselves, we’ve only got one option.

We must remove our entertainment-swords from their scabbards and use them to slit the throat of the bastard-thief.

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Welcome to the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! I’m going to show you the various bits of entertainment I’ll be using to preserve my spirit during the workweek. Your task, should you feel up to it, is to hit up the comments section and show off the ways you’ll be keeping your heart alive.

Odd Future is fucking blowing up, and I love it. These motherfuckers hit Funny or Die up with a skit that is centered around them getting signed. Maybe it’s because I’m a purple-donged fanboy for these guys, but it’s fucking hilarious. Also, any skit that involves Katy Perry, Selena Gomez and fucking mouths, I’m down with. The skit is like the group: awesome, crude, swag.