Lindsay Lohan Is “Too Young To Die”, Old Enough To Be Tried As An Adult

Being that we are a music blog and we don’t really consider Lindsay Lohan a musician, we were going to graciously stay out of the Lindsanity occurring everywhere else else on the planet this week. But then a previously unreleased track recorded by the soon-to-be-incarcerated drama queen surfaced online, and well, we have no choice but to share it with you.

Okay, we have a choice, and our decision is yes, we really do want to post a song recorded by Lohan called “Too Young To Die,” because if she’s going to record it, we’re going to talk about it. If you don’t like it, then by all means, tell us with a cleverly-manicured fingernail displaying your distaste. Track below.

[wpaudio url=”//idolator.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/Lindsay-Lohan-Too-Young-To-Die.mp3″ text=”Lindsay Lohan – Too Young To Die” dl=”0″]
“Crashing my car, coming flying through the windshield / Falling in love with ya, I’m gonna get me killed / I’m too young to die,” Lindsay talk-sings on the track, helped with a healthy dose of Auto-Tune, although Auto-Tune barely has any effect when you decide to mutter out the song’s lyrics in monotone. On the bridge, it doesn’t even sound like Lindsay—it sounds like a bad impression of Britney Spears.

The song was produced by J.R. Rotem (although you wouldn’t believe it, since the producer’s typical shout-out is missing on the track), and it sounds half-finished, as though they realized a few hours into their recording session that this entire endeavor was pointless. Even with a more accomplished singer, this generic ballad couldn’t be saved.

We don’t want to rain on this girl’s parade, but a negative review of a song she recorded awhile ago is hardly the worst thing to happen to Lindsay this week, right?