Can Someone Please Burp Me Now?!

Please, for your own sake, look away. I am a newb of the newbiest proportions. Put me in diapers and wipe my drool. While you’re at it, cut my hotdog into teeny tiny pieces and remind me to eat slow, so I don’t choke on my exuberance of thinking I CAN DO IT MYSELF!

Cause, I can’t. Newb meet frustrated hands thrown in the air.

My desktop crashed. Booooo. I see you shuddering, because I’m still shuttering. My desktop crashed in the midst of me running a fun giveaway over HERE. The month is JAM-PACKED with fun stuff and here I am, on an unfamiliar laptop UNABLE to log in to my lovely WordPress account.

I’ve cleared the cache (God Bless You), I’ve cleared the cookies (not as delicious as it sounds), installed TWO new browsers, easily got on to this Worpress site to update you on my newbiness, called in two IT gurus and the gal who helped me design my other home over there, yet I’m still plagued by the words that will haunt my dreams tonight: Invalid Username.

LIES!

Look WordPress, if the username was so invalid, then why can two peeps at two different computers, log in and I can’t? WHY?! ANSWER ME!

Ugh. It’s no use. The afternoon is wearing thin, I’ve been chasing this issue since 7:30 AM and Momma is tired, and frankly a bit peeved.

GIVE ME BACK MY ADMIN SIGN-IN!

The forums are of no use either, and even if they were, it’s filled with engineery words and symbols that make Greek look easy.

Husband has a last ditch effort tonight; he’s going in with a Norton Eraser. I have no idea if it will work, but I curse you AV Gaurd exe. virus and your hatchlings. Have you nothing better to do than torment those of us who make a living (well, a living is stretching it, but getting closer!) on our bums all day, using the Internets?

Husband: I wish you God Speed on your journey this evening.

Readers: Be careful out there. A virus can take you down before you even know what hit you.

Newbs: Don’t fight your newbiness. Call in the big guns pronto. There is no shame learning from war-torn vets in the fight agaisnt that which wishes to take you and your fun website out.

Now, could someone please burp me? Gas builds up fast when you hyperventilate and wail like a baby.
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