The Following User Says Thank You to babybloom For This Useful Post:

I am sorry you are going through this. I think you know the best thing to do. Your son deserves a dad that thinks he is the moon and stars, not an inconvenience. You deserve the same. Hopefully he will get the wake up call he needs once he sees his whole life fall apart, by then it will be too late. The grass is never greener on the other side, yet so many men think that it might be. Let him see for himself and he can watch as you learn to love and enjoy your new life away from his toxicity! Take time for yourself and your DS. He isn't worthy. This is not a role model for your son. He is just a sooky boy, not a man. Good luck x

The Following User Says Thank You to Gracie's Mum For This Useful Post:

I miss my 'old life' sometimes and so does DF, however we certainly don't want to go back to our old lives, if that makes sense?

He sounds immature and I think he would find that the grass isn't greener. IMO you should tell him to leave ONLY if you could handle it if he decided he preferred the carefree child free life. If you do ask him to leave, make it clear that you will seek child support and custody is to be agreed upon by both parties - he doesn't just get to go scot free.

Big hugs. You sound like a strong woman & I am sure you will make the right decision for you.

The Following User Says Thank You to ChelleBH For This Useful Post:

Google The Womens Legal Service in your state / town. They are a good starting point.

My local runs free drop in clinics, I think they all do. Explain your situation, ask them where to from here. They should be able to provide you with a list of family lawyers in your area. Alternatively, you may qualify for legal aid.

Do not attempt to work any of the financials yourself. I would guess that you will be entitled to a high percentage of your assets as you contributed a large amount of cash to the relationship and your DH bought debt with him.

What I meant was gather all the paper work before starting anything and him getting sus. If you have copies of records, bank statements, time lines,

The Following User Says Thank You to maternidade For This Useful Post:

Sorry OP, but your Hubby sounds completely selfish. You and your son do not deserve to be treated with so little respect. I'd ask him to leave if I were you, and I wouldn't take him back unless he went to therapy to work on himself!

The Following User Says Thank You to beebs For This Useful Post:

You should tell him to go, but I wouldn't make out it's temporary till he decides what he wants. He still had the power then. I actually don't think he intends to leave, I think he's just trying to blackmail you into doing everything he wants, holding your marriage ransom.

I have no doubt you and your child will be happy alone. I also think he will live single life for a while before realising what he's lost and try to come back. Change the locks .

Huh??????? Sorry if you thought I was having a dig at your post. I wasn't at all. I meant that the OP shouldn't assume 50/50 split of assets is the norm and come to an agreement about finances with her DH without seeking legal advice first.

No not at all just made me realise my original post might not have been clear he sounds like a looser and the op has worked so hard I don't want her to not have access to info because he's being a child

The Following User Says Thank You to maternidade For This Useful Post:

I'm sorry but he's being a child. He got married when he was 30... He didn't have any time before that to drink, smoke, go out and do whatever it is that boys do.
If he wants the house clean, wants a home cooked meal then maybe he should take his child out so mum actually has a chance to do her thing.
He sure does have a lot to complain about. People like that will never find the peace and happiness that they're looking for.
You sure are a strong woman for putting up with him. I'd tell him to have a permanent sleep over at his friends house... Or at least until he gets his **** together.

The Following User Says Thank You to SugarSkull For This Useful Post:

I'd definitely be looking for legal advice and kicking his sorry ar$e to the curb. He's acting in a very immature manner and you don't need the stress of looking after a man child when you're already looking after a 4yo

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