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Dead On Appraisal (2014): A Macabre Review.

Hello again my freakish followers. Today I’m returning to the world of Brain Damage Films with another anthology entry. Dead On Appraisal shares a similarity with Horror House, another anthology movie I previously reviewed, in that it revolves around a real estate agent trying to sell a house with a rather dark history . But that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

The overarching story that connects the rest of the anthology stories is called “Closing Costs“. Real estate agent John Dante (Mike Pfaff) is having a hard time selling a certain house. This house has a bloody history of people dying in it, and as you can tell, people aren’t coming out of the woodwork to buy it. We then get into the stories that explain why it’s such a difficult sell.

The first story is called “The Morning After”. Budding entomologist Jerry (Zack Fahey) cannot be bothered to join the loud, raucous party outside his bedroom, as he is studying an unusual cocoon that may be a huge discovery. But when the cocoon unexpectedly opens up, all sorts of hell breaks loose in the house.

In the second story, called “Father Land”, Iraqi vet Robbie (Michael Brouillet) returns home to stay with his father Brad (James Howell). In short time, it is apparent from Robbie’s antisocial behavior that he may be suffering from PTSD. But as Brad soon finds out, it’s not quite so simple as that.

“That’s the last time I go to that barber.”

The third story, “Freddie and the Goblins”, involves Freddie, the cousin of Jerry from The Morning After (who happens to also be played by Zach Fahey). During a game of poker with the rest of his band mates, Freddie is told in no uncertain terms that he and the songs they made suck, and they want to go in a different direction. It’s not long after this that Freddie’s brain appears to break a little and he starts seeing foul-mouthed puppets appearing around the table. He soon decides that something drastic must be done about them, and the insanity truly kicks in.

As I’ve mentioned before, the beauty of anthology movies is that the odds of you liking at least one story are pretty good. With Dead On Appraisal, you get a mix of serious subject matter, and all-out insanity. “The Morning After” and “Freddie and the Goblins” are both just out of control with blood, gore, ooze, and various other fluids, all combined with mostly over-the-top acting and plenty of humor. “Father Land” takes a darker path and a more psychological edge than the other stories. “Closing Costs” begins on a more serious tone, but gradually devolves into its own mega-violent conclusion.

“So he asked me, ‘why the long face?’ And then I stabbed him with my horn!”

For a movie that has a budget of only approximately $15000, Dead On Appraisal has quite a bit going for it. While some of the acting and special effects are questionable in areas, it only seems to add to the charm of the movie. The people behind this project clearly had a blast making it, and it’s reflected in what we are subjected to. So if you have a craving for the weird and funny, along with a ton of violence against people, bugs, and puppets, then take the time to shut your brain off and watch this movie. You’ll likely not regret it. Rest in peace.