Helpdesk Ha-Ha’s

I used to work at a computer help desk center. Our clients were business professionals, and on average, they were more knowledgeable than your average home PC user. Still, you would get some interesting calls. Even when a client was very polite and professional, you would see some very interesting entries in the problem history that were written by less than professional technicians. In no particular order, I present the top 17 funniest help desk calls I’ve seen over the years, along with my silly titles for them.

#1) Silence of the Lambs, as in “It rubs the lotion on its skin”

User informs that it had problems with its email and it cannot see the email that they had sent to it, and requests that they revise its in case that, therefore it needs to have the access to the servers.

# 2) Someone is getting BORED

Help with loading Masslynx 4.0 with Quanlynx onto shared computer in. We get an error message about operating system blah blah blah. –

# 3) Spelling is everything!

User received a message that said that the “Files moved, please shitdown Outlook and re-open.”.

# 4) Tell Us How You Really Feel (Part 1)

client is in kiev ukraine

local support in ukraine is useless

# 5) Department of Redundancy (Part 1)

Email Subject: There is no communication between client and supplier.

Objective: To communicate that there is no communication

# 6) Tell Us How You Really Feel (Part 2)

Problem Summary: You’re useless

Detailed Description: Close case xyz…

I’m fed up being given the “run around”.

Get some real people who aren’t afraid to publish their contact information and then maybe you can call yourselves helpful.

I’ve got my own work to do and cannot sit waiting for an auto attendant to find a non-busy agent.

How about hiring enough people to get the job done?

If you get the impression I’m ticked off – you’re absolutely right.

The service from this organization gets worse by the month – not better.

# 7) Department of Redundancy (Part 2)

User dont have as directory created. Need to create a directory created.

#8 ) Department of Redundancy (Part 3)

USB KEY name name the gave it is no good says needs a new name for his USB Key.

# 9) In A Hurry Much?

Customer wants their request done NOW! No not in 5 days or even minutes. NOW!!!

# 10) Problem? What Problem?

customer was worried about unread number on workspace. Explained to customer that this functionality does not work very well and to ignore it.”

# 11) Tell us how you really feel (Part 3)

“Called user back, apparently, the description was not all correct, he told me the issue was that he could not receive emails for a couple of hours, the issue got resolved by itself, he sounded unhappy at all. He told me that i was useless since i could not tell him why his issue happened. Closed this ticket as per client.”

# 12) I don’t know what I’m talking about, do you?

user did not know the server name she said she needed to talk to some one who knew what she was talking about.

# 13) Quack, Quack, Quack

Problem: User reports that his ducking station is not waorking

Description: Ducking station is not working properly. user mention that the battery last less than one hour, before it last more than 3 heures. The mause and keyboard are not working when connected trough the duckstation. ”

# 14) Department of Redundancy (Part 5)

User’s issue was resolved by the resolution of another incidents resolution. Confirmed with the user that the issue has been resolved.

# 15) Sarcastic Much?

Resolution: “As informed by Prince, turning the machine off and on again resolved the issue. This highly technical solution also solved the same problem on the 3rd floor truck shop Xerox.”

# 16) Let Me Out!

We are having issues with the below printer, it is making klonking sounds like someone is trying to get out.

# 17) If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again, and again, and again, and……