Friday, May 22, 2009

Part of taking a patient's story down is getting a family history. This is often skipped by docs in a hurry, but can be quite helpful in looking for the odd genetic disorder. So I still try to do it on each new patient.

Sometimes, though, you can get some mighty weird answers. So, to help you enjoy the 3 day weekend, here are a few from my archives.

"My mom had diabetes, but only when she was alive."

"Both my grandmothers got menopause. My mom may have it, too."

Dr Grumpy: "Any major illnesses in your family?"Mr. Bozo: "No, but my Dad was a Lieutenant".

"My mom died of liver cirrhosis. Nobody knows how she got it, because she never smoked a day in her life."

"My brother has diabetes. I think it's gestational diabetes."

"My mom is 80 and healthy as a horse, except for her lung cancer."

"My grandparents were from Norway, or maybe Germany, or it could have been England. You know, one of those Russian countries."

"My parents are both fine, but my goldfish has been sick."

"My father died of uterine cancer".

"Family illnesses? Hell, Doc, I don't even know my Mom's last name anymore. She changes it all the fucking time".

Think had me think back of my rotation in a hospital shadowing a trauma team. I remember reading the admission entries, including HPI/course of events. In my 5 weeks there, we saw:- a man "minding his own business" when he was pushed out of a 2nd story window (alcohol involved - shocker)- a woman who managed to run over herself with her own car; never figured the logistics on that one- and not one, but TWO patients admitted after being bucked off their mules. Alcohol was involved here too...

The fave in our office is when the wife of a patient calls to say they need to get their husband "fixed"/ The husband calls and says he needs a hysterectomy. yeah they both happen about once a week, gotta love it!

Welcome to my whining!

This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate.

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