Where nothing is everything

Nobody puts Baby in a corner, and kids just can’t have fun anymore

So a couple local high schools have banned “dirty dancing” at their school dances. No, they weren’t showing epic 80’s films that are on TNT every other weekend, they decided students were not going to bump and grind on their watch anymore. One school even sent a “freak patrol” to the dance to make sure none of the kids were doing what they wished they could’ve done in their high school days.

I agree that this is somewhat of an extreme case, but c’mon people. Did you forget what it was like to be a teenager? What’s next? Are you going to mandate that all students be picked up and dropped off at their homes by school buses to prevent possible after-parties at hotels? Get over yourselves. You know that psychology that if you tell kids they can’t do something that seems fun, it just makes them want to do it a little more. Well, it’s true. Kid’s can’t do anything fun anymore. I did all the stuff listed below and I turned out just fine. Well, at least that’s my opinion.

New York City bans school bake sales

There are all sorts of ways for high school groups to raise funds. Bake sales have always been a staple. No more in New York. Their reasoning has to do with the percentage of teens being overweight. OK, I can under stand the basis of that theory. But I don’t think buying a muffin from a bake sale a couple times a year is really a contributing factor for their obesity.

Sorry, you're too fat to help the school band

They would be better off banning parents from letting their kids eat McDonald’s four times a week. But no. We can’t have that. Too many parents out there would complain about having to actually cook a dinner rather than throwing 2500 calorie fat fests on the table every night.

Colorado school bans “tag”

What? That makes me want to cry into a tub of ice cream. They say that tag generated too many injuries and complaints. The principal said “It causes a lot of conflict on the playground”. Of course it causes conflict. IT’S A GAME, STUPID! Don’t tell me the last time you played Life with your kids you didn’t scold one of them for trying to slip a few extra $10,000 bills out of the bank.

The #1 cause of stress in the home

And injuries? I used to come home with scrapes and bruises all the time from tag. A little bactine and a boo boo band-aid and I was on my way. Sometime I think that kids today are coddled to the point that we’re going to turn out an entire generation of wimps.

Connecticut middle school bans touching

This school implemented this policy after a student was sent to the hospital after being struck in the groin. Have you stopped laughing yet? OK. Well, when I was in school I saw a few shots to the balls. And you know what? They all deserved it. I’m not condoning violence, but it’s just part of growing up. I don’t remember getting into anything in school that could’ve been called a “fight”, but I did my fair share of pushing and shoving. Kids will be kids. And their not just talking recess and class, they banned touching in sports and P.E. as well.

I wouldn't do that if I were you

Requiring kids to enjoy recess or sports without touching eliminates all the fun. It would be like demanding that adults have sex without penetration. Go try and get that law passed.

Schools ban Halloween and Christmas

Disgusting. One of my favorite parts of the school year was dressing up for Halloween and the gift exchange at Christmas. I don’t ever recall being told in school that Halloween was in any way Satanic or that Christmas was about Jesus. We had a thing back then called separation of church and state. I’m pretty sure it’s still around. So what seems to be the problem? My stepdaughter’s school didn’t allow kids to wear a costume for Halloween this year. I feel somewhat sad for today’s youth in that respect.

It looks like fun, but that means we can't do it

Some schools have even gone way off the deep end and allowed Jewish and Islamic Christmas symbols to be displayed but not a traditional nativity scene. Isn’t that kind of like reverse racism? Someone needs to take the school board out back and beat the hell out of them for their lunch money.

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked
and/or drank while they were pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from
a can, and didn’t get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our
tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored
lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors
or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no
helmets, not to mention, the risks we took
hitchhiking.

As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no
car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was
always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a
bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one
bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank
Kool-aid made with sugar, but we weren’t overweight
because,
WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day,
as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of
scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out
we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a
few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo’s, X-boxes, no
video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video
movies or DVD’s, no surround-sound or CD’s, no cell
phones, no personal computer! s, no Internet or chat
rooms…….
WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth
and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the
worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up
games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we
were told it would happen, we did not put out very
many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and
knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked
in and talked to them!

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the
team. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with
disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the
law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best
risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation
and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility,
and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!