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rspective
April 16, 1996 Page 7
Call Girl
ears of Phones njamin Wyskida. All photos by Julie Ellis. Art by Brian
included "Phone Surveys" appear in their original entirety. fe as the infamous phone survey queen County, or somewhere else in the
Baltimore-Washington corridor.
Her job as Call Girl may not be on
ler professional resume, but it has
"I've matured as the
Call Girl."~Katie
E d w a r d s
Deen a definitive part of Edward’s
four years at SMC.
“I am glad that I have had the
chance to do the Call Girl over the
Call Girl Trivia:
The first Call Girl was done De­cember
15,1992. The question was,
"What would you want from Ted
Lewis for Christmas?’1, and the first
answer was, "I don't know if I want
anything from Ted Lewis", by Anne
Britner. It appeared without the
moniker "phone survey" or "call
girl", in a nondescript box on page 4.
Who knew.... Call Girl Trivia:
The Point News approximates
that 140,000 phone surveys (70 is­sues,
2,000 copies each) have ex­isted
within the bounds of human­ity,
although most are not at land­fills,
have been recycled, or are on
the wall of the person stalking Katie.
September 2&. 1QQ3
My dog Chadwick hates the sound
of a phone ringing-he pulls them off
the wall. We have to unplug it when
we leave, otherwise he’ll decide to
redecorate. I don’t ever again want
to see Crisco and Swiss Miss mix
congealed on the cabinets.
“If you were a dog, what
would be your favorite dog toy?”
“Daily Growl toy newspaper”
-Aaron (Sparky) Koos
“A nice roll of toilet paper”
-Edith Larman
“A dried bone and a duck”
-Clint Pipkin
“The mailman”
-Lucy Hardy
“Brooks’ leg”
-Phil March
years,” commented Edwards, who
noted that “I’ve matured as the Call
Girl.”
Edwards has achieved some mea­sure
of celebrity on campus, how­ever
in her own modest words “only
my parents think so.” The topics of
Edwards’ Call Girl have ranged dra­matically,
as have responses to her
inquiries. The response is usually
polite, “But sometimes people say
that I have quoted them incorretly,
or put things in the paper that they
didn’t want other people reading.”
“I tried to call Dave Myers once,
but he didn’t answer. Usually people
are pretty nice-people hate it when
you wake them up, though.”
Doing the Call Girl weekly re­quires
a great deal of effort: think­ing
of a topic, making the calls (“even
i f you don’t feel like it”), and writing
an introduction. The obvious ques­tion
then, considering the work and
the tradition behind the Call Girl, is
“Will it continue?”
“It would be really nice,” com­mented
Edwards, “It is a lot of work,
and it’s hard to keep going, but I
would like to see the Call Girl keep
going.”
Freshman year... rammm... that “What’s the craziest thing
crazy time of life when most people you’ve done since you’ve been
went off the deep end at least once, at SMC?”
This meant that people suddenly "8 beers, a margarita, tequila,
had no qualms about sleeping on rum, vodka, and 5 bong hits”
t' op o*f *M* oj n t* y Ha«ll,— * * U
ove
| HRVK_______ 7 that’s a little
three Natty Bohs for $5, rolling crazy”
down the Dorchester Hill over and -Anonymous
over in the middle of a monsoon- “Took my roommate’s towel when
Therefore the question for this “Kicked in Dave Myers’ door and
week is what was the craziest thing knocked down three lightposts”
you’ve done since you’ve been at St. -Anonymous
Mary’s. Due to the personal (???) “Agreed with a J'on Allen com-nature
of this question, everyone I mentary” j
called asked to remain anonymous. -Anonymous \
Wimps, September 15. 1QQ5
One of the only things that you
can do once your body has been
attacked by dreaded little sick germs
is to seek out a place on which to
recline your ailing self. Preferably a
bed. Preferably your own. Strang­ers
don’t often take well to green
faced, fever ridden, snot nosed
people coughing up a lung on their
pillow while trying to convince them
that the pink fairy in the corner
really does exist.
Over the years, however, one sick­bed
tradition of mine has stood the
test of time: watchingTTie Sound o f
Music (sigh). After four hours of
watching people sing and dance
while trying to escape from the
Nazis, I usually feel a lot better.
So, this week’s phone survey ques­tion
concerns favorite musicals.
lonely” makes you “pick up [your]
chin and grin?”
“What’s your favorite musical
and why?”
“Phantom of the Opera because
it’s beautiful”
-Liz
“I don’t like musicals so I really
don’t have a favorite one”
-Alex Lynn
“Guys and Dolls because I saw
Katie engaged in a cuban dance
with her brother”
-Steve Swisdak
“Lez Miserables because it was
really tragic but a good show”
-Pandula Warren
“Cats because all that spandex
gets me hot and bothered and I
usually begin to purr”
-Calli
i S ji' <• ?
"Which phone to choose?" Ahh, the quandry
" I ’m calling from The Point News...hello..Yeah, well same to you.
November 9. IQQ3
This past summer I had the delightful opportunity to be a camp
counselor. By August I was sick of saying. “OK Marie, I don’t really care
that he stepped on your foot in line, but you can’t just knock him down
with a basketball and repeatedly bounce it off his head.”
I had so many different types of kids in my group.... they had very di­verse
interests, but as a group they were all totally infatuated with
dinosaurs.
However, out of all of the dinosaur paraphernalia that they were
exposed to, my mature third graders quickly rejected the stomach
churning, new TV character, Barney. Themes involved hanging the
purple dinosaur, and HIV were mentioned in song.
So in keeping with the multitude of hatred and negative feelings
expressed about Barney that I heard this summer, and, yes it’s true, even
down here, I have decided that the phone survey question of the week will
be “How would you like to kill Barney?” A little violent maybe, but, hey
i f you can’t take a joke...
“How would you like to kill Barney?”
“Put him in Jurassic Park and let the real dinosaurs kick his ass!”
-Scott McCormick
“Have Mr. Snuffalufogus swallow him or step on him.”
-Audrey Davey
“Douse him with water, tell him he needs to be dried off properly or else
he’ll get moldy, force him into a clothes dryer, and turn it on high”
-Jean Miller
“Force him to watch his show for 24 hours”
-Chris Mueller
“First get four horses, tie ropes to each of his limbs and to the harnesses
of the horses (Clydesdales, of course). You say go, they start to pull him
apart, and as they do you cut open his stomach, and drag his intestines
over hot coals. You might need two horse teams per limb, he’s pretty big.”
-Brendan Cox
"I'm not really interested in killing Barney."
-Claudine Thompson
"I would shoot him in the head."
-Greg Foti

rspective
April 16, 1996 Page 7
Call Girl
ears of Phones njamin Wyskida. All photos by Julie Ellis. Art by Brian
included "Phone Surveys" appear in their original entirety. fe as the infamous phone survey queen County, or somewhere else in the
Baltimore-Washington corridor.
Her job as Call Girl may not be on
ler professional resume, but it has
"I've matured as the
Call Girl."~Katie
E d w a r d s
Deen a definitive part of Edward’s
four years at SMC.
“I am glad that I have had the
chance to do the Call Girl over the
Call Girl Trivia:
The first Call Girl was done De­cember
15,1992. The question was,
"What would you want from Ted
Lewis for Christmas?’1, and the first
answer was, "I don't know if I want
anything from Ted Lewis", by Anne
Britner. It appeared without the
moniker "phone survey" or "call
girl", in a nondescript box on page 4.
Who knew.... Call Girl Trivia:
The Point News approximates
that 140,000 phone surveys (70 is­sues,
2,000 copies each) have ex­isted
within the bounds of human­ity,
although most are not at land­fills,
have been recycled, or are on
the wall of the person stalking Katie.
September 2&. 1QQ3
My dog Chadwick hates the sound
of a phone ringing-he pulls them off
the wall. We have to unplug it when
we leave, otherwise he’ll decide to
redecorate. I don’t ever again want
to see Crisco and Swiss Miss mix
congealed on the cabinets.
“If you were a dog, what
would be your favorite dog toy?”
“Daily Growl toy newspaper”
-Aaron (Sparky) Koos
“A nice roll of toilet paper”
-Edith Larman
“A dried bone and a duck”
-Clint Pipkin
“The mailman”
-Lucy Hardy
“Brooks’ leg”
-Phil March
years,” commented Edwards, who
noted that “I’ve matured as the Call
Girl.”
Edwards has achieved some mea­sure
of celebrity on campus, how­ever
in her own modest words “only
my parents think so.” The topics of
Edwards’ Call Girl have ranged dra­matically,
as have responses to her
inquiries. The response is usually
polite, “But sometimes people say
that I have quoted them incorretly,
or put things in the paper that they
didn’t want other people reading.”
“I tried to call Dave Myers once,
but he didn’t answer. Usually people
are pretty nice-people hate it when
you wake them up, though.”
Doing the Call Girl weekly re­quires
a great deal of effort: think­ing
of a topic, making the calls (“even
i f you don’t feel like it”), and writing
an introduction. The obvious ques­tion
then, considering the work and
the tradition behind the Call Girl, is
“Will it continue?”
“It would be really nice,” com­mented
Edwards, “It is a lot of work,
and it’s hard to keep going, but I
would like to see the Call Girl keep
going.”
Freshman year... rammm... that “What’s the craziest thing
crazy time of life when most people you’ve done since you’ve been
went off the deep end at least once, at SMC?”
This meant that people suddenly "8 beers, a margarita, tequila,
had no qualms about sleeping on rum, vodka, and 5 bong hits”
t' op o*f *M* oj n t* y Ha«ll,— * * U
ove
| HRVK_______ 7 that’s a little
three Natty Bohs for $5, rolling crazy”
down the Dorchester Hill over and -Anonymous
over in the middle of a monsoon- “Took my roommate’s towel when
Therefore the question for this “Kicked in Dave Myers’ door and
week is what was the craziest thing knocked down three lightposts”
you’ve done since you’ve been at St. -Anonymous
Mary’s. Due to the personal (???) “Agreed with a J'on Allen com-nature
of this question, everyone I mentary” j
called asked to remain anonymous. -Anonymous \
Wimps, September 15. 1QQ5
One of the only things that you
can do once your body has been
attacked by dreaded little sick germs
is to seek out a place on which to
recline your ailing self. Preferably a
bed. Preferably your own. Strang­ers
don’t often take well to green
faced, fever ridden, snot nosed
people coughing up a lung on their
pillow while trying to convince them
that the pink fairy in the corner
really does exist.
Over the years, however, one sick­bed
tradition of mine has stood the
test of time: watchingTTie Sound o f
Music (sigh). After four hours of
watching people sing and dance
while trying to escape from the
Nazis, I usually feel a lot better.
So, this week’s phone survey ques­tion
concerns favorite musicals.
lonely” makes you “pick up [your]
chin and grin?”
“What’s your favorite musical
and why?”
“Phantom of the Opera because
it’s beautiful”
-Liz
“I don’t like musicals so I really
don’t have a favorite one”
-Alex Lynn
“Guys and Dolls because I saw
Katie engaged in a cuban dance
with her brother”
-Steve Swisdak
“Lez Miserables because it was
really tragic but a good show”
-Pandula Warren
“Cats because all that spandex
gets me hot and bothered and I
usually begin to purr”
-Calli
i S ji'