I decided to start a blog to kind of journal our discussion and possible first steps into swinging. I am the female of the couple (let's call me Lilly). I titled this blog the way I did because of the fact that we are just beginning to talk about this, and talk about what we want to do. The purpose of the blog will be to look back easily and see how our thoughts and conversations have progressed as time goes on.

1 week ago, I asked my SO what he thought about the idea of swinging. It was something I had thought about for quite a while over the last year and I was curious what he thought about it. My SO (let's call him Hyde... just cause I always loved Hyde from "That 70's Show"... yes, I am a total, weird dork). The decision to finally ask his thoughts about it came from the excitement he and I both had during and after visiting Exxxotica in Denver earlier this year. It was the first time either he or I had ever attended an expo like this, so it was definitely a new and exciting experience. During our visit at the expo, we met an amazing girl at one of the booths there for a local strip club. She gave us tickets to get into the club free, so we decided to go that night. This was the second first for both of us - being in a strip club. That was definitely very different, to say the least.

Over the past week, Hyde and I have talked a bit here and there about swinging, and doing a ton of research about the lifestyle. Good grief, there are a shit-ton of opinions out there, and a shit-ton of advice. We began to talk about how many different points of view there are, and how we would never really understand what our "rules" should be, or how we would even feel about trying swinging until we experienced something of it. Note: This does not mean that we have not already spoken about rules and boundaries of our own - we are just unsure of how many, what kind, and how far they should go at this point.

I started looking at some different LS social sites for us to get some more exposure to others in the LS, as well as to find out what clubs there might be in Colorado. Yay for a very vanilla state - except for marijuana! (Sarcasm doesn't translate well through text, so imagine that spoken in a way that it positively drips with sarcasm...) Of the few places in the state, there is one that intrigues us both - Voodoo Leatherworks - and we have discussed attending one of the orientations next month, or later, depending on how much more comfortable we become with the idea. We are both intrigued, excited, and extraordinarily nervous and unsure of ourselves. Obviously - who wouldn't be nervous or scared about such a big step/change?

Historically, we have had some issues in the past. We are fully aware of the fact that these are things we need to discuss at length before swapping (either soft or full), and that we need to discuss our feelings about the past and what we might get into in the future. The good news is, we have always been a great couple together, and seem to mesh completely differently than anything either of us have ever experienced, so we are pretty damn comfortable talking with most things with each other. But we are very interested to experience something about the LS before trying anything. I also think I need a little more exposure to the LS before I can really begin to face any fears or other feelings that I will need to address with Hyde.

I can say I was very happy to find a "smaller" site like Kinkster. The larger sites seem so overwhelming and over-populated that I would have no idea how or where to begin there. We are registered on a couple of the larger sites too, but I keep coming back to Kinkster because it is much more comfortable for me. I do want to thank the admins of this site for making it so user friendly, and I hope that we might begin to support the site if we continue down this path.

If anyone decides to read this, thank you! We would welcome any "newbie" tips and ideas during this first phase.

Wonderful expression! Love that there is a community of like minded individuals with different experiences and ways to go about the same goal, sexuality :) thanks for sharing i think this is a great idea, documenting your experiences so you can retrace your steps is not only healthy but somewhat hot because you can relive those experiences :)

Thanks for sharing your experience. I have been introduced to the lifestyle by my current bf and it’s been fun at times, weird at times and confusing at times. We’ve had some difficulties in communication expectations in the past that we are trying to work thru. But my belief is that if we do what we do with integrity than we do not lose confidence in each other.

If you love each other, you want to see each other pleased. Not to say you don't please each other, but we are sexual beings. Being in a relationship doesn't meen were no longer attracted to others. Attraction is physical and primal. separate sex from love. Sexual attraction may have brought you together but you didnt fall in love because of it. Entering this life style and understanding the difference between sex and love. You can be assured that whatever happened in the past won't happen again because you are sharing the experience. Always communicate, if you want to try something, discuss it. Never judge each other. If you share your fantasies and live them out with the one you love, why would you ever stray or leave that person? The fear of someone leaving you is your own insecurity. If you are insecure for what ever reason, you will cause your fear to become reality. If you think so lowly of yourself, why should you expect anyone else to see you for anything other than how you see yourself?
This lifestyle could help with that, or make it worse. It all depends on you.
I have couple swapped with some couples where one or both were insecure and you could feel what was going on. One would fake scream because they thought their mate was enjoying it more with another person, so they had to out do them. That's just a turn off and you will most likely never see the couple your with again.
Also understand up front that yes, you both want to be with other people, yes you are both attracted to others. Not because one of you aren't good enough! Because you are both hard wired that way. Never take anything personal, never question, Why TF, they fantasize that? If this life style is for you, you will be saying, "fuck that's hot, I can't wait to see that."
If you can do this, you will find that the best sex you have will be with each other, and it may just happen the morning after you swing for the first time.

The one piece of advice we would give is to always remember, your relationship comes first and everything else is secondary. Always talk, be close and stay united. Have fun, but always keep that in mind.