Jewish Cheerleader in the Bible Belt

My evangelical coach made me discover what it means to be a Jew.

Growing up in the Bible Belt, I relished the opportunity to say "I'm Jewish, and I love it." Of course it was all a front. I was very embarrassed not to wear a cross; I desperately wished that we could have been just like everybody else. Because I had no idea how to answer all of the questions about JC, why we don't believe in the New Testament, and why we went to synagogue on Saturday instead of Sunday, I put on the best performance about how great being Jewish was.

Until high school, my Jewish pride had never really been challenged. Except for the occasional fanatic who insisted that I would burn in hell, things were generally pretty calm.

I remember the day that it all changed so clearly. Cheerleading practice began like any other: rehearsal of dance routines, me being thrown into the air in a stunt, and a lot of overly confident teenage girls arguing. Then came the water break. We were all sitting around chatting, when our evangelical coach piped up.

"Girls, I want to tell you something. Not nearly enough of you have been attending the student athlete church service, the meet you at the pole prayer group, or the Federation of Christian Athletes events."

Something inside of me started to stir.

"Now, I don't want to have to keep reminding you ladies. Church involvement is essential to the success of the football team."

My discomfort turned to anger.

"All of the Varsity squad has been going, and look how good their team is doing."

The frustration was mounting.

"Reverand Smith will be at lunch in the cafeteria --"

The words jumped forth from my throat without my control...

"Coach Turner, I don't think this is any of our business. You're way out of line. Just leave us alone about your Church. We have the right to go or not go." My heart was pounding with nervousness and anger.

Before I could finish, she put up her hand, signaling me to finish.

We all paused and then the captain broke in, "Why don't we all go get some water in the main building."

As I walked toward the building, my adrenaline was still contorting and the perspiration was dripping down my temples.

Good for you , I thought to myself. That should finally keep her quiet. But what's the rest of the squad thinking?

One by one, my peers padded me on the back. "Way to go, Lauren. I am happy you said something. You go girl."

They were all on my side. Little did I know that those words would soon mean nothing and that within a week I'd find myself fighting the entire school.

THE ULTIMATUM

After practice Coach Turner approached me. "Don't worry Lauren, I forgive you. I won't kick you off the cheerleading squad, but I have discussed this incident with the head coach and you only need to serve three detentions for your blatant insubordination."

Overnight, I went from one of the most popular cheerleaders to borderline pariah.

I refused to serve the detentions, triggering a spiraling descent of back and forth between myself and the coach who was forcefully trying to maintain her control of the squad. She finally issued an ultimatum: either I serve the detentions or she – the most beloved coach – will quit.

The calls started coming in. One by one, my peers who I thought were my best friends started mounting pressure. "Come on Lauren, really it's no big deal. Just serve the stupid detentions. You know you were being a little disrespectful to Coach Turner. We're in the middle of the season and can't afford to lose her."

Suddenly teachers, parents, football players, and administrators started treating me like a total outcast. Dirty looks, rude comments, and the cold shoulder were some of the tactics they used to get me to back down from my position.

I was dumbfounded. These were adults, and I was 15. No one seemed to take my feelings into account. Overnight, I went from one of the most popular cheerleaders to borderline pariah.

The most painful slight came from the family of the only other Jewish cheerleader. With the mom's money and help, her two kids had risen to top of the social ladder, and she was determined not to let me undermine her vision. She had slyly convinced all of the other cheerleading parents that this was not about religion; after all, I didn't even have a Bat Mitzvah like her daughter had.

My parents instilled in me abundant Jewish pride, but deep down there was a vacuum in place of knowledge.

But the most challenging thing was the internal questions I could not answer: "Why did I care so much about my religion anyway? What's really the big deal about going to a church once in a while? Don't we all believe in the same God and the same Bible?" My parents were very proud Jews and instilled in me abundant Jewish pride, but deep down there was a vacuum in place of knowledge.

SHOWDOWN

The showdown came a few weeks later, with the help of the local ADL and my parents. The coach brought me to the principal's office in an attempt to force me to either serve the detentions or be dismissed from the cheerleading squad. Despite all the vicious attacks against me, I proudly articulated my position as eloquently as I could. Thankfully, the principal was African-American who was particularly sensitive to minority rights, and he agreed that I should not be forced to serve the detentions.

It was a short-lived victory. Coach Turner quit the squad that afternoon and everyone blamed me.

I was bombarded with emotions: proud, angry, hurt, betrayed, confused. I felt an incredible burden of responsibility that I didn't ask for, but was something that I inherited from every generation of Jews that preceded me. Of course, Jews in previous generations suffered infinitely worse persecution to maintain their identity. But in the heat of that teenage moment, my life seemed quite dramatic: a reform Jewish cheerleader in the heart of Georgia defending her right to maintain a Jewish identity free from persecution and persuasion.

Coach Turner did indeed quit, but the football team went on to win the championships without her there to pray for us, and the cloud of controversy surrounding me eventually settled down. My cheerleading career came to an end after it was hinted to me that I shouldn't bother trying out for the Varsity squad the following year; my position on the squad had already been replaced. I decided to take up journalism the next year, find a new crowd of friends, and start taking school seriously.

NAGGING QUESTIONS

But those nagging questions that I couldn't answer would not be quieted. Why does being Jewish really matter anyway? Why not simply follow the crowd? I began my quest for understanding what it means to be a Jew. Instead of following all my friends to the University of Georgia, I made the courageous decision to attend Emory University which had a very active Jewish life. It would be my first time having a chance to get to know Jewish peers. I felt I was on the cusp of an exciting discovery.

In the first semester of my sophomore year, I enrolled in a Holocaust Studies class taught by renowned author and historian Deborah Lipstadt. Having just returned from her famous trial with Holocaust denier David Irving in England, the course was very popular, filling a very large auditorium with a few hundred mostly Jewish students.

I watched and read about the horrors of World War II in extremely graphic and shocking detail, and I was deeply affected.

I remember leaving the auditorium one freezing day in November, sitting on a bench and crying, "How dear God could You have allowed such senseless misery, such torture to so many innocent souls?"

A few of my friends came over to me. When I told them why I was crying, their response shocked me. "Move on, Lauren. It's over. We have a social to get ready for tonight. I know you're sensitive, but nothing like this will ever happen again."

But I couldn't just "move on."

I almost wished for a second encounter with Coach Turner.

I decided to take a UJC college mission trip to the Ukraine and Israel for winter break. I came back very inspired, dedicated to raising money and awareness for their cause. I felt different. Sorority life began to feel surreal and superficial.

Following Prof. Lipstadt's recommendation, I went to Hebrew University in Jerusalem. I finally began to ponder some of those nagging questions and discovered I was in the best place to seek out a wide range of answers. All of Jerusalem seemed to be teeming with Jewish students struggling with the ultimate issues: What is our purpose here? What does it mean to be Jewish? Why is it so important that the Jewish people not assimilate? How can I truly make the world a better place?

That vacuum inside of me began to slowly fill with knowledge based on Jewish learning and growth. I almost wished for a second encounter with Coach Turner.

Today I am married to a rabbi, and we are dedicated to working together to make the world a better a place, to do as much good as we can, and take care of as many people as possible, starting with our children, our community and the whole world.

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About the Author

Gevura currently lives in Kansas City, KS, where her husband is one of the founding members of the Community Kollel. She spends most of her time with her three young children and utilizes her spare time developing marketing and design material for the Kollel and facilitating Jewish parenting groups.

Visitor Comments: 120

(103)
Carolyn,
December 25, 2013 7:42 PM

reply to Eli, I disagree with you

I don't know if you can understand how it feels to have something like this happen to you especially as a teenager. I will never forget when I was 14 and moved from the city to suburbia. A woman in our subdivision held Christian group prayer sessions in her backyard. My family did not attend and I was considered an outsider, and many horrible rumors were spread about me. Late one summer night I was awakened by a commotion and looked out my bedroom window in horror to see 2 laughing children/teens running through my yard wearing sheets. All that was missing was someone burning a cross in my yard. My parents never knew and I never told them. No one was ever confronted or ever apologized to me, but I knew from that time on I would never tolerate that sort of thing again. It was 1969 during a time of social upheaval and civil rights demonstrations. I saw black people being subjected to this on TV. It happened to me, by children, all because I was different. This took place in upper middle class suburbia of a big city. How or where I pray is personal and private. Embracing my Jewish roots came later and to this day I am respectful to anyone trying to get closer to Our Creator. I also find it interesting that prayer was for the success of the specific football team, which seems rather selfish. Success often comes from failure or loss and those answers are ones we may not know, should know or ask for. Our Creator has so many more answers than we do so why do we simply not leave it up to him to decide what it is we need? Maybe praying for enlightenment, or peace, or for the right answer makes more sense than for our team to win. These days I reach out with love and understanding to others, but that came with age. At 14 or 15 I doubt I would have handled it correctly. At least the author had the courage to say something. Where were the adults that should have acted appropriately, well before she felt compelled to say something?

(102)
shmuel,
November 12, 2013 1:51 AM

her first name

What she born with it? It certainly seems appropriate!

Anonymous,
November 13, 2013 6:46 PM

to Eli

fully disagree with your put down of the author

(101)
Eli,
November 11, 2013 9:41 PM

HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT

For a 15 year old to speak so disrespectfully to an adult in the heat of the moment is forgivable. But to stick with that position into adulthood and motherhood stands against the very values of Torah she has worked so hard to journey to. Was the teacher spewing anti-Semitic ideology? Did she know you were Jewish and was being malicious or was it said in innocence? Did you try to approach her respectfully, in private as apposed to in a confrontational manner in front of her students, thereby undermining her authority and her ability to save face and maintain the respect and authority among her students which are a necessity for successful coaching? Most of all, would you, or any of the posters/readers, encourage your child to tell an adult off in such a confrontational manner? To the contrary-I think the coach is to be commended for maintaining her composure and being dignified-which is more than the author can say for herself. IMHO this article is an embarrassment to the author and sub standard to Aish.com's otherwise high standard of quality and better judgment.

Hirsch Alter,
November 12, 2013 3:44 PM

Torah Values Stem from Hashem

Respect for elders in Judaism is because they bring us closer to Hashem because they are a generation closer to Sinai (except for parents, whom Hashem explicitly commands us to generally respect. We also stand for [even stupid] elders, though we do not give them absolute respect.) If, however, an elder (even a parent) tellsh us to defy the Torah, Hashem gave the Jewish people the quality of Kasyut Oref (Stiff-Neckedness / Chutzpah) to defy that elder.

Good for her.

Eli,
November 22, 2013 3:20 AM

" If an elder tellsh us to defy the Torah"

Hirsch-You sound like a reasonable person. What do you suppose would have happened had she said "coach, I'm Jewish, I can't go to church, but I love your idea of prayer. Maybe I'll try synagogue instead" -We will never know...

David,
November 13, 2013 7:57 AM

Shame on you

It is because of sissies like you that our generation doesn't show the world what the ultimate truth is: not idolatry and lies, but Torah and a living G'd. Too bad you prefer to stay put and desecrate His name.....

Eli,
November 22, 2013 3:28 AM

"our generation doesn't show the world"

David-There is a silent but powerful way to show the world-with dignity, respect and discretion.

Terri,
November 22, 2013 4:56 AM

good for her!

Why I ran screaming from Christianity and converted to Judiasm....Christianity is brainwashing at the highest level.

Gevura,
February 10, 2014 4:08 PM

Thanks for your comments

Thanks for your comments. In hind sight you are right, I perhaps should have approached her privately. But as a 15 year old it's difficult to control your emotions, especially after years of having to conform to the Christian society that is extremely prevalent in public schools across the nation. I was so confused by all of the Christian pressure I was under in high school, when my mom was sick with cancer in the Hospital, I prayed to JC out of fear and confusion that perhaps that was my only hope to save my mom's life. Perhaps I should have included in this article, that it's important to respect adults which as you point out is a Torah value. However, when they are taking their advantage of their authority to pressure children into doing things that they know go against their values, it is appropriate for children to protect themselves and be assertive. And to answer your questions, yes she of course knew that I was Jewish, everyone did, which is why they deceitfully always chose me to have the private talks with the ministers who came to visit us during lunch time. So while I agree with your desire to do what's right and maintain composure under stress, I wrote this article to help encourage young people to hold true to themselves and their beliefs even in the face of adversity.

(100)
Tony Granillo,
November 11, 2013 3:44 PM

How many others...

...has Deborah Lipstadt touched in this way. She was my professor too, in 1978, at the University of Washington. B"H

(99)
Ari Clark,
November 11, 2013 8:00 AM

feeling different

I too have felt the loneliness and being given the cold shoulder because of my faith and my stubbornness .I have learnt to accept who I am what my faith is and nothing will ever change that be proud to be Jewish

(98)
Val,
November 11, 2013 6:01 AM

Interesting

This is an uncommon story for me, because I grew up in LA with many Jewish peers. This reminds me that our culture is a minority in most places. The other cheerleader sounds like an embarrassment to our community. I am surprised she and her mother didn't stand with you. I know in my public school if something like this happened it would be a huge deal and every Jewish family would have taken a stand against this treatment. I glad you did!

rivka,
November 11, 2013 7:19 PM

growing up in LA is very sheltered

Val, your comment shows you have never lived in a truly "out of town" community. It is not shocking the other Jewish girl did not stand up for her. That would be true in the majority of public schools. Nonobservant conducted a successful campaign to have me transferred to another school, and were very open about why. They deeply resented my taking off all of the yom tovim. Of course, the reason they fabricated for the principal was something else, but that is what 1 Jewish teacher openly said to me.

(97)
Russell Fig,
November 11, 2013 2:38 AM

Which branch

Which branch of Jewdaism do you belong to Lauren are you Orthodox,Conservative or Reform?

Anonymous,
February 10, 2014 4:13 PM

Orthodox

While I don't love labels, my husband and I have embraced Orthodox Judaism, and try very hard to live up to it's noble ideas and it has brought us infinite amounts of joy and fulfillment, despite the challenges.

(96)
Rebecca Solomon,
November 10, 2013 10:37 PM

I admire this lady...

As a Christian married to a Jew, I absolutely abhor it when people try to force Christianity on others. This coach was way out of line, and really should have been fired, because schools are not supposed to force religion on students. I can't believe they didn't fire her. Also she gives Christians a bad name. Most of us are not like that; we want to share our faith with others, then leave it up to God to draw them. It is not our job to save people. And it makes Jews defensive because they have had so many bad experiences like this. I am sorry it happened. Our religion came from the Jews; I have the utmost love and respect for them and God is obviously still loving and protecting them, too.

(95)
Anonymous,
November 10, 2013 7:03 PM

Me, too...

Wow, your story reminds me of my youth, also in the Deep South. There was that WASPness that crushed or marginalized anything different. I, too, fought it, but didn't really know WHY we were different & what difference it made to be Jewish. We were raised knowing about the Holocaust, but that's not really a reason to be Jewish. My folks sent me to Israel when I was 16 & I grabbed on to Israel w/all of my might. It was like coming home, being natural, I STILL don't know how to articulate those overwhelming, positive feelings. But my father said I had to go back to that WASP public high school again to get my diploma. I stepped off the plane w/kippah & tzitzit & by definition I was in everyone's face. My black minister principal was neither a prince nor pal & decided to suspend me for refusing to take off my kippah in school. My parents went to bat for me, though none of the Jewish organizations did. I was a gadfly in my high school philosophy, world culture & history teachers' sides, desperately looking for intellectual honesty in their points of view. In the end, I graduated 1/2 yr earlier & went to yeshiva, then university, then yeshiva, back & forth. Because of ideological confrontations at university, I understood the extreme importance of articulating Jewish positions in the most eloquent & satisfying ways possible & I pursued that & ultimately brought quite a number of lost neshamot back home. Post-holocaust Jewry has to learn as I did, & still try to do, to articulate Jewish positions. Aish was a big part of learning that, especially Rabbi Noach Weinberg's "Evidence of G-d's Existence." Those 4 tapes really taught me deep analysis & ideological criticism, I highly recommend them. I think you can download the first tape for free.

(94)
Anonymous,
November 10, 2013 5:37 PM

Good for you for standing up!

What a touching story! There are devout Christians who are respectful & supportive of Jews & Israel.

Unfortunately, there are also people who don't like us.

Recently, someone pointed at my husband & me w/the epithet of "you people" at a public forum. We have to be aware that our freedom comes with awareness & hard work. It's great that you & your husband are helping to inspire the next generation.

(93)
Shirley,
November 10, 2013 5:31 PM

I'm a Christian BUT

I was really offended by your story - only because I see how much your coach was NOT being Christlike by any means. Being a Christian means allowing people to make a CHOICE in what they believe . Besides I thought the See You at the Pole was supposed to be student led and student initiated!!! I just wanted to let you know that not all Christians are like your coach and I hope someday she will realize how much she hurt you. Hopefully other Christians reading this will see the difference between " I got something exciting to tell you " " you got to believe what I believe or I wont be your friend". Sorry for the length -this kind of thing just gets to me . I guess I have a particular bias because my husbands grandparents are Jewish (but told their children and grandchildren not to tell anyone out of fear -they left Europe in the 1920's).

Anonymous,
February 10, 2014 4:14 PM

Thanks

Actually, I am very close with my Christain neighbors, and have found them extremely G-d fearing, kind, and tolerant people. I think people are people and this story perhaps has more to do with personalities than observance. Thanks for your comments.

(92)
Tirzah,
November 10, 2013 5:26 PM

Different experience here in the South

I grew up in the South. I raised my family there and I can say that I have never had any problems like that. Neither have my children. In fact, most of their Christian friends are very curious about our beliefs rather than judgmental. I don't know but it seems as if you could have explained to the coach that you are Jewish and therefore could not attend. The way you handled it seems to be why you encountered the problems that you did. People in the South are very big on being respectful and your response sounded very disrespectful. From my perspective, most Christians in the South are very supportive of Jews, love Israel , and are only too happy to accommodate our beliefs. We have even had some celebrate Hanukkah with us. I realize it isn't like this everywhere but our attitude can make a difference .

(91)
Mika,
November 10, 2013 9:23 AM

I understand but...

I had similar experiences in high school. I now attend college in the American South, and live surrounded by Evangelical Christians who ask which church I attend, decorate a Christmas tree in our dorm etc. Guess what? I love it. This American Evangelical Christianity has not oppressed me, nor does it depress me. Jews are a tiny minority in the US, and Christian gentiles form a tiny minority in Israel. If I must live outside of Israel, I want to live in America - and I prefer America to be Christian rather than aggressively secular or even anti-religious. When Evangelicals remind me to pray, invite me to church or ask me to join them for Christmas ham, I smile and say, "Thanks. I think your faith is beautiful, but I have my own faith, which is equally beautiful." Do they attack me, try to manipulate me or warn me of hell? No, not really. In fact, they mostly agree to disagree with me when it comes to JC. I am confident in my Jewish identity and Judaism, and do not feel intimidated or angered by Miss Taylors. Quite the opposite. Most, though not all, similar characters I have encountered, are more accepting of Judaism and Jews than we might think. If Miss Taylor asked me to attend church, I would have said, "I think church attendance is a great idea, we need G-d. And I go to my own congregation, which happens to be a Jewish synagogue."

(90)
michelle,
June 5, 2012 8:44 PM

inspired

Thanks for sharing. I remember her being at neve with me. She was/is a wonderful person and inspiration.

(89)
Avi,
May 11, 2010 12:58 AM

I'm from the south too. I think we all come to a point where we want to know more about our tradition. I just hope that we learn about Yiddushkeit in a deep yet open-minded way that clearly distinguishes between halachah/law and minchag/customs so no one Jew becomes the Jewish authority. Learning and questioning belongs in each tradition. Go team!

(88)
forscythe,
April 25, 2009 1:37 PM

Good for you. If only more kids had that sort of courage and perception! And not just because you have "another" religion. Kids shold also be free from religion, if they are so inclined.

Unlisted,
November 10, 2013 10:27 PM

Misguided reader

Freedom "from" religion is the worst kind of child abuse! And it's the PARENTS' job to mold the child to become closer to G-d, not the child's job to mold him/herself!

(87)
Yehoshua,
April 23, 2009 10:14 AM

Complex Story

I can't judge this situation because I wasn't there. I think the various commenters all touched on parts of the truth. This was certainly a life-defining event for a young Jewish girl. It was also an impetuous chutzpadik act for a teenager with adolescent impatience, lack of perspective and hormones. With divine providence the event led the author in the right direction. I have encountered a lot of believing Christians, and the more I have become steeped in Torah, the more I sympathize with people who are truly living a spiritual path even though it is not my own. But on the other hand the use of naked authority to cause students to comply externally to a supposedly spiritual standard is what can make a Jew like Moshe Mendlowitz go "off the derech". When the only Jews young Christians see are secular ones, I would tremble at the thought of causing young Christians to go off their derech. There may be better, but there is a lot worse. There is a lot of room for making Kiddush Hashem through mutual respect when meetings occur with people of other faiths. It is also vitally important for Jews to be in Eretz Yisrael, where our very "secular" activities are holy, unlike practicing "religious" Judaism in Golus.

Maxens,
November 10, 2013 10:33 PM

Choosing to be religious or not is an human right. It's too easy to just dismiss someone because of their age and clichés about "hormones" and "adolescent impatience and lack of perspective" (bonus: it also applies as a sexist catchphrase if you replace teenager/adolescent with women/girl! I just don't get how impatience, hormones, and lack of perspective plays into this story...) Now what would you say if an adult reacted this way? She did the right thing, no coach should for their religious beliefs on someone else or exclude and put someone down because of their religious practice, beliefs or lack of thereof.

Anonymous,
February 10, 2014 4:17 PM

Absolutely

I totally agree, and am very good friends with some wonderful G-d fearing Christians, who support our commitment to Judaism. I wish I would have responded better in hind sight.

(86)
stacy,
January 14, 2009 8:26 PM

Living in Evangelical town

This was heartening. I moved to Western PA and people come to the door all the time to tell me about the bible.(And send numberous letters) When I tell them I'm the Rebbetzin, they just look confused.
I can't wait to share your aticle with my students-they get a lot of that too.

(85)
Anonymous,
January 13, 2009 7:31 AM

a very good article

You should consider your cheerleader Turner your best friend, because without that event happening you would never have reached the wonderful life you now live.
Now that you have finally got this whole event down on paper I think it is quoted in the Torah that one must learn not only to forgive, but to fortet what you have forgiven (not easy).

Anonymous,
February 10, 2014 4:17 PM

Absolutely

You are so right, I should probably write her a letter to that effect.

(84)
Marilyn,
January 4, 2009 1:38 PM

She was right to speak up

Lauren, I would have done the same thing you did. The coach was so out of line to try and punish you for being Jewish and make no mistake that's exactly what she was doing.
She should be ashamed of the mockery she made out of her religion.
Apologize to this woman as Max suggests, not in this lifetime. She was out of line not you.
G-d bless.

(83)
Amy,
January 1, 2009 10:40 PM

Blessings abound

All I can say is that I am so thankful your family is here in KC right now. You are a bright light for us here.

(82)
Leah,
January 1, 2009 8:14 PM

bravo!

Great story. And to anyone who has anything critical to say about how she handled the coach, please re-read the words. She was totally appropriate at 15 or 50. The coach was out of line. Period. And it was entirely appropriate as a response at age 15 or 50. Because when Nazi symbols were sprayed on my locker in high school, "Excuse me, that is terribly inappropriate" did not work. Hatzlacha to the Jewish Cheerleader!

(81)
Rachel Lincoln,
December 31, 2008 8:25 PM

How inspiring at so young you found it in yourself to rise against the tide and show what you are really made of.

Wow!The fact that you spat out your anger at the coach was definitely a reflecion of something laying deep within you, something you may have never realized you had- a real sense of being Jewish. I admire your courage, and determination, to not only be inspired, but to act on your inspiration, and make a ripple effect.

(80)
Max,
December 29, 2008 11:54 PM

Not Inspirational & not commendable behavior

I agree with 77 75 71, coach's position was wrong, but you were rude & disrespectful to an elder, yet now as a rabbi's wife you still don't see shame in that! Maybe there's more to the story, or it was the straw that broke the camel's back, but from what you wrote, the situation might have been resolved peacefully. You weren't forced to wear a yellow badge, but it was just a shallow cheerleader team! It's good that you found your Jewish identity, but keep in mind that respect for elders comes from the Torah! I guess it was part of your spiritual journey for that to happen, but I certainly would not be proud of that instance, and if ever you were to meet this Coach Turner again, the G-dly thing to do would be to apologize & seek amends. My regards

Anonymous,
February 10, 2014 4:21 PM

I agree with you

Shalom,Thank you for your thoughtful comments. You are right there was a lot more to the story, and this was the "straw." Even so, in hind sight I would have handled the situation differently, and I sorry this was not conveyed better in the article. Please remember I was 15 at the time, and frustrated that I wasn't better prepared to be in such a situation; also it's hard to articulate the extreme pressure I felt under. I do think it's important for younger people to defend themselves against negative peer pressure, and until that point I was not able to. If we were to meet, I would indeed apologize and I would hope she would do the same for trying to persuade me to attend Church when she knew it was not my faith.

(79)
Anonymous,
December 29, 2008 11:10 AM

Great

This is such a great story! I think the main point of the story is that even the most secular Jew had a part of her soul that was stirred by being forced to go to a church event. Instead of following the crowd, she expressed her inner voice that sensed it was wrong for her to be forced to go to this event, despite the fact she was never taught why it was wrong.
I have read some of the critical comments about this story and feel that they are missing the theme of the story. The author was secular and in high school and I am sure had no idea what a chillul Hashem meant. I am sure that in hindsight, she wished she had handled it in a more proper fashion.

(78)
Laura York,
December 28, 2008 6:05 PM

Amazing story! Its really inspiring to see how amazing you are and how close your relationship is with Ha-shem! Its an honor to know you and your bli ayin hora beautiful family! All the best and thank you for sharing this!

(77)
Anonymous,
December 27, 2008 11:29 PM

Mixed Reaction to this story

As a recent convert to Judaism, I have some strong reservations about this story. I really don't think the encounter with the coach was handled well. Why did you not seek her out one on one rather than confront her in front of the other students? I commend you for your courage but was the coach even aware that you were Jewish and your objections to attending church were religiously based? While I am glad that you were spurred to delve more deeply into Judaism and what it means to be Jewish, I think that a little maturity and proper counsel would have made the situation considerably different. I don't think you should portray your experience in High School as an encounter with anti-semitism. You were not reacting to anti-semitism, but to a simplistic general approach by a well meaning Evangelistic coach who thought that "one size fits all", i.e.Christianity, when it comes to faith.

anonymous,
November 11, 2013 2:09 AM

On the outside looking in

It's reactions like these that keep people like me from being cautious about Jewish people.

(76)
Terry,
December 27, 2008 9:41 PM

Good for you

I am a Catholic Christian who thinks you were treated in a very un-Christian manner by Christians.

(75)
Moira,
December 26, 2008 11:58 AM

Rude

Like anonymous I found the 'cheerleader' rude but then she was a teenager. Certainly, the coach should not have brought up religion but it was definetly rude for the girl to accost an elder that way especially when there was no direct insult to Judaism.

(74)
Anonymous,
December 26, 2008 9:52 AM

very good

Very well written, - good for you for sticking to your ideals

(73)
Aviva,
December 26, 2008 6:25 AM

Jewish children need education

To me this clearly illlustrates how important education is to for jewish children. Passing on the heritage to our kids is vital if we are to keep them within klal yisroel.
Last weeks parsha illustrates that Joseph learned torah and jewish values with his father until he was sold into slavery at the age of 17. In Egypt he had to fight off the advances of Potifar''s wife who wanted to commit adultery with him. The vision of Joseph''s father and all he had been taught came to him and he was able to withstand the test. He went to jail for 2 yrs.

If we don''t provide the foundation for our children to know where they come from and that they have a proud and illustrious heritage, they can''t succeed in the non Jewish world. As parents we have to do our part.

(72)
Bert H,
December 25, 2008 8:48 PM

Gevura,
The incident in your youth mirrors incidents that have happened to minorities, non-Jews as well as Jews, throughout the world. As a youngster, I attended public school and heard many anti-semitic comments from adults as well as other children. I remember having to sing Christmas songs during assemblies, and making Christmas crafts to put under the tree. My rebellion as a child was limited to avoiding singing the Christian words and throwing away the Christmas crafts. As fate would have it, I became a public school teacher and eventually assistant principal and principal. This is my 39th year in education. I am presently principal of a public school of 500 with only three Jewish families. One of the Jewish mothers, who did not know I was Jewish, came to me and told me that her 6 year old daughter had come home the night before crying that she did not want to be Jewish anymore. She had been asked questions about her religion that made her feel uncomfortable, like so many Jewish children have been questioned for generations. When I told her I was Jewish, too, and would take care of the situation, she was very thankful. That afternoon, I called the little girl into my office and told her how proud I am to be Jewish and how special each of us is. She was so happy to learn that I was Jewish. Now, each Friday we wish each other Shabbat Shalom at dismissal, and for Chanakah, I gave her two younger siblings and her chocolate Chanakah gelt. We all need to support our children to make them feel proud that we are Jews.
BH

(71)
Anonymous,
December 25, 2008 3:20 PM

i am amazed that anyone finds this inspiring

I too grew up in georgia and am raising a frum family. You opted to "put the coach in his place" by showing complete arrogance and disrespect to him in front of a room-full of students. What a Chillul Hashem. Wow, you got the ADL to show up to your school and cause an even greater Chillul Hashem You should be embarresed by your self righteous and rude behaviour. When we, as a people, display completely unacceptable behavior and then run behind the "anti-semitism" claim we are crying wolf. You should have been expelled.

Anonymous,
February 10, 2014 4:24 PM

Regret

I do regret how this was handled, but please know that I was 15 and that there were many things that were not included, like the fact that they local evangelical Church purposely targeted me for being Jewish, inviting and enticing me to come on their trips, etc. In hind sight, I wish I would have handled it better, but please know that the ADL is extremely selective, and felt that the adults were out of line.

(70)
Jennifer,
December 25, 2008 12:28 PM

Jews need Jews

You certainly were very brave to stand up to the coach and (as it seems) the community. Your story is an excellent example of why Jews really do need one another -- for strength and to learn why we must never become completely immersed in secular society.

Wow! Thank you for sharing your story and enhancing our community with your beautiful family. What a nice surprise to find your story here. I can relate to carving out my Jewish identity as a minority in the bible belt.

(66)
Mrs.Epstein,
December 24, 2008 5:35 PM

this is why Jews need

to live in Jewish communities and send their kids to Jewish day schools.

(65)
Harold,
December 24, 2008 12:01 PM

Don't Back Down!

Too many people just go with the flow and do not stand up to the kind of injustice you describe. It is great to see an example of someone who did not back down, who stood strong in the face of adversity. I plan to share your story with my daughter. You are an inspiration!

(64)
Steve Edelman,
December 24, 2008 11:53 AM

Similar experiences

DOB: 11-6-1948
While in the seventh grade, some students in my homeroom discovered that I was Jewish because I took off for Rosh Hashanah. That started a year of torment from them (that was in Massapequa, New York). The torment ranged from insult to being spat upon. Finally, one of them stuck out his foot in the hall and made me fall hard. I got up, and quite literally beat him up. Naturally, the whole story came out, and the bigots left me alone. I have lived in the south for more than 30 years now, and have had to use words to defend my faith. This has been far more satisfying than fighting with my fists. You, m'am, are a light. Happy Chanukah. Am chai!

(63)
Kim,
December 24, 2008 11:49 AM

I love it!

Wonderfully written article. You had a lot of courage! Thanks for sharing!

(62)
Hannah,
December 24, 2008 9:07 AM

Incredible story

Thank you for telling us your story. It is very inspirational. You have a strength of character many people wish for. I am sure that Hashem love you as one of the favourite daughters.

(61)
Delayah,
December 23, 2008 11:00 PM

What it means to be a Jew!

Reading your article about your teenage life reminded it of mine (I'm still a teenager). I had to go to a christian school because to go to a Jewish school was very expensive and very far from our home. Well the questions you ask yourself I have asked myself many times now and funny enough I have the answers to it! Asking myself "What does it mean to be a Jew"? well I would just go back to Torah and read what God told the Israeli's of that time. We are the chosen people of all the nations on Earth and that God is dedicated to us as we to Him(minority Jews do)and how blessed we are ,if we follow the commandments stated in the Torah. And if we don't follow the commandments of the Torah we would bring a curse over ourselves and what happened in the Holocaust would happen to us. And I am a proud Jew. To know that the religion your in are far better then the other pagan ones

(60)
Devorah,
December 23, 2008 9:01 PM

Thank you

This scene is all too real for me. I too live in the "Bible Belt" where I see this facing not only children but adults in their work place. Thank you for standing firm. I am proud to be a part of an active Shul and encourage our children to be who they are, Jews!

(59)
Debby Green Gilden,
December 23, 2008 2:05 PM

No Jewish cheerleaders allowed

Sav., Ga. my d.o.b. 6/51. Until my high school class, no Jewish girls were
allowed to be cheerleaders. One of our peers broke that barrier. The Catholic school had a quota (3%). Skip to MA, 2003/4-the middle aged, mini-skirt wearing principal screams at me for missing a make-up test for the students because of Shavuos, calls me old fashioned and doesn't rehire me in spite of my wonderful relationship with staff and students. The union rep states that she is anti-semitic but does nothing because I do not have tenure. In an article in the Boston Globe, a first year teacher's principal is quoted as saying that he will allow her to miss all of the Jewish holidays but will not rehire her the next year because of the holiday absences. I now have my own business.

(58)
freda freier,
December 23, 2008 1:14 PM

Congratulatiions!

I just want to wish you complete success in whatever you do. Ha ve Yiddish nachus from your children. I felt your pain when you wre at ta cked by your supposed friends. The bottom line is that you can only feel comfortable with yourself if you stand up for what you believe even though it puts you in the center of an unexpected battle. That you were willing to change schools and approach a new way of life indicates that you are not only Je wish in spirit but in essence as well. I am glad to have read about your experiences.

(57)
steven,
December 23, 2008 10:55 AM

first grade

I ran into the same thing but when I was far younger (first grade) and only 10 years after the holocost.... The teacher made us sing J*sus loves me every morning... my mother told me to say G*d instead, but the teacher would try to correct me.... When she found out that we were Jewish she fail me... I have been seaching for the last 50 years on what kind of Jew I am.... (I think that search will never end)

(56)
ron,
December 23, 2008 9:04 AM

skewed

Interesting article of a NONpracticing jew getting offended by expected activities they KNEW were required at the beginning. I am glad it inspired you to seek out your roots and get yourself grounded, but its typical you dont see your own error in all of this. I would bet you told the black prinical you were a 'practicing' jew and that got you your exception. Too bad the coach was as immature about the situation are you were (and still are). I wont comment on the ignorant comments by others, not enough room and I dont have the time.

(55)
Anonymous,
December 23, 2008 8:46 AM

You are brave and i am inspired

(54)
Miria Ginnis,
December 23, 2008 2:07 AM

SEC alum

Gevura, you helped me bring up some of those questions back when we were studying at the SEC together. After more soul-searching I decided to answer some of those questions by leading an Orthodox life. Trials living in Japan and more struggles trying to maintain an Orthodox life while living at home just add to the fun. Kol ha'kavod

(53)
Jacqueline Mamoni,
December 23, 2008 12:17 AM

In response to poster #20

Aura..Your post kinda validates Gevura's position.Threats of detention and punishment wont get you real respect.My son was in this same situation in 7th grade here in Pa..The big picture of constant pressure on the tiny minority to get with and follow the huge ignorant majority.. A Jew answers to a higher authority.This has always been a problem for Fascists that seek to destroy that which they can not control.Everyday more and more Americans question this "majority authority" as they begin to now look at our Constitution..All throughout history Jews have been in this kind of situation...Sadly it is wide spread here still in the USA ironically where it is outspokenly considered illegal.. Bottom line:
If you disrespect my faith you disrespect me , then i will not be able to respect you..

(52)
Anonymous,
December 22, 2008 10:48 PM

It only takes one person

What a wonderful kiddush Hashem you were to everyone around you. Who knows how many lives you may have touched and the impact you may have made along the way..

(51)
Jessica,
December 22, 2008 9:04 PM

Great Story Neighbor! I'm sure many of the teenagers in our neighborhood can relate.

(50)
Rhonda Heithaus,
December 22, 2008 5:59 PM

I wonder

I am not clear if the Coach even knew that the Jewish cheerleader was Jewish. Until this fact is made clear, it is impossible to judge the Coach. As a teacher, I do not like verbal volleyball in front of the students. If the writer had talked with the Coach quietly and privately, I think the results would have been different.

(49)
John,
December 22, 2008 5:16 PM

Can you summarise?

Great article, indeed. Is it possible for you to summarise in a couple of crispy messages, why it is important for a Jew not to assimilate?
You don't assimilate to preserve your traditions. OK, but why is it important to preserve them? Well, to retain your heritage. But is not it enough to just have it in Jewish Museums around the world? Etc.

(48)
Moshe Rosen,
December 22, 2008 4:14 PM

defending Judaism vs. defensiveness

I've learned that there is a difference between defending one's self and being defensive when it comes to situations involving evangelism and missionizing. As much as we Jews can defend our Judaism, I hope that sooner or later we will be a more united Jewish community in Israel - I'm all for that (in the long run).

(47)
Liora Sitelman,
December 22, 2008 3:25 PM

way to go!

Rebbetzin Davis,
You go, Girl! Three cheers for you! What an awesome story! You have so much courage and faith. May we all learn from your independent spirit and eagerness to help humanity.
Thank you Aish for publishing this article

(46)
Beverly Kurtin,
December 22, 2008 2:26 PM

Be Proud/Be Educated/Love all Jews

Gevura, you may have lived in the bible belt, but I live in the BUCKLE of the belt, Texas. Prior to moving to Texas I lived in pre-Civil Rights Connecticut. I moved to California after I got fed up with “Oh, I’m sorry, we don’t hire/rent/allow Jews.” They found out I was Jewish when they asked THE QUESTION: What church do you go to? Believe me, I can understand what you went through.
In Connecticut, I would have my Hebrew books torn to shreds or be rubbed in mud or in other ways destroyed. The school, of course, did nothing, after all, I was starting the problem by being different, “Why don’t you just convert and love Jesus?” I was asked on more than one occasion.
Unfortunately, many Jewish children don’t take a stand because they don’t know Tenach. When the “missionaries” show their “proof texts” that they think shows that we can’t be forgiven for our sins because we don’t have a blood sacrifice, the Jews fold and “complete” their Judaism.
There are scores of so-called “proof texts” that the missionaries successfully use to get Jews to give up what millions of us have died to protect: Our heritage.
It is a shame that most synagogues “prepare” children for Bar/Bat Mitzvahs by only teaching them how to parrot the Hebrew texts they need to make their parents and grandparents kvell for one day, then they are gone forever and maybe become RY Jews (Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur).
I spent many years in Hebrew school and learned NOTHING about Tenach. Only when I was challenged by the missionaries did I start to teach myself about Judaism. And by the way, our religion is JUDAism, not JUDYism. Methinks we need to learn how to pronounce the name of the religion we claim to follow. And we also need to learn that Judaism is not just another religion, in fact it isn’t even a religion: It is a way of living and we cannot know how to live if we are ignorant of Tenach.
Our children and our adults need to learn to counter the missionary’s lies, but throw them for a loop by teaching them the truth. Hashem prohibited human sacrifice and said that each person dies for their own sins. That certainly leaves their Jesus out in the cold: He was supposedly a human being, how could he die for anyone else’s sins?
If Judaism is to continue to grow and thrive, we need to learn about the Noahide laws that Gentiles are to follow. If you don’t know what the Noahide laws are, click on the Western Wall Cam, then click on For Non-Jews.
We also need to learn to love each other as dearly as we love our own families. I have heard “sermons” in which the rabbi vented his hatred for one or another group of Jews. STOP IT. We lost the Temple for unjustified hatred towards each other. We don’t have to agree with or adopt everything that other elements of Judaism do or say, but we desperately need to LOVE each other unless we want to be cast out of the land again.
I love each and every Jew on the face of this planet. Do they drive to shul and eat trief? So what, I love that Jew. Do they wear black hats and long coats and the women cover their hair? So WHAT? They are JEWS and I fiercely love them. We have to stop the hate now.
And for brave women like Gevura, I am so proud for Jews like her who stands up for her right not to “go with the flow,” and who can ask the unanswerable question of why the Holocaust happened. During this season of Hanukah, it is time to let our lights shine brightly, we have good reasons to be proud of our ancestors.

(45)
Deborah Lipstadt,
December 22, 2008 2:10 PM

Taking a stand

Gevura? Hmm... were you Lauren when I had you in class? I don't remember hearing your Coach Turner story. You were one gutsy kid. Kol hakavod. And hag sameach from your teacher.

(44)
Robert,
December 22, 2008 10:19 AM

It was wrong

As a former high school teacher and coach, my heart ached when I read your story. Such behavior by adults is unconscionable. It was a blatant misuse of authority and demonstrated a calloused lack of concern for you as a person. It was wrong! Like you, I am a student of Jewish history and very sensitive to the place of minorities in a majority culture. I am also an evangelical Christian who, like many other evangelicals, has a profound respect for Jewish people. Your story grieves me most because it represents the misapplication and abuse. I cannot repent on behalf of another individual, but as a Christian I can express my personal regret for the very un-Christian behavior. You seem to have taken it bravely, and G-d has used it to shape your character in positive ways. May I also request that you not hold this and other specific experiences like it to all of our accounts. Jewish people have suffered much in history by being lumped together and condemned as a group ("the Jews"). It has always been wrong. Please resist the temptation to do the same with "the evangelicals." Most of us really love people and live with the conscious desire "to do as much good as we can, and take care of as many people as possible, starting with our children, our community and the whole world."

(43)
Talia,
December 22, 2008 10:00 AM

I Admire Your Courage

How wonderful that this incident sparked what turned out to be great changes in your life (even though at the time what you were going through must have been incredibly difficult). I admire your courage, for standing up for what you believe in. I try to help my non-Jewish friends to understand a little bit about what Judaism is about, but it's hard sometimes to get my point across in a way that they can comprehend. I recently had an experience with a Mom who was a born again Christian, not so very tolerant of Judaism at all! When I told her that Judaism is a deeply spiritual religion, she acted surprised, as if we don't believe in G-d or something. Sad.

(42)
Aviva Solomon,
December 22, 2008 8:51 AM

Amazing story

What a beautiful and inspiring story! It really shows how something horrible can turn into something so positive and transformative....we never know when we will be tested and what the restults of those test will be. You have every reason to be proud!

(41)
Phil,
December 22, 2008 8:28 AM

Mazel-Tov

Thanks for such a great story - I am also from the bible belt and have encounted similiar circumstances. I am so glad you life changed and the vacuuum has been filled !

(40)
An Italian reader,
December 22, 2008 8:27 AM

I would like to read coach Turner's version too

Why didn't you just say:"I m not going to Church because I'm Jewish"? That would have been more effective and in that way nobody could accuse you of being unrespectful.
Are you sure that "I don't think this is any of our business", "You're way out of line." "Just leave us alone" were the correct way to express your opinion in that contest?
Of course it goes without saying that you were totally right in refusing to go to Church. My doubts are just about the way you took your stand.
I was not there, so I can't say it for sure, but after reading your article I suspect that the problem was not your refusal of going to Church, but your bad manners. I would like to hear what coach Turner has to say about it. It's a matter of giving a correct and fair information.
By the way, I don't share the enthusiasm of the readers. At 15 every kid is old enough to know that the Costitution gives religion freedom. And giving up being a cheerleader in order to keep your dignity and your principles, is not big sacrifice.
Sorry for my poor English.

(39)
Sam,
December 22, 2008 7:59 AM

Good 4 u!

I enjoyed your story. It certainly makes sense that being in Jerusalem made a big difference in your life. My family and I moved to Israel 10 years ago. Maybe that will be your next step as well :)!!
Happy Hanuakah!

(38)
Anonymous,
December 22, 2008 4:01 AM

STRENGTH.

Being a convert, I know how difficult it is to not just "go with the flow."
The first time I took a stand for my decision was the moment I actually became a Jew.
In heart, not just legally.
It was probibly the most important decision of my life.
It is still a daily struggle not just against a hostile society, but against my own questions as to how observant is really necessary in my surroundings.
Surroundings that I once accepted as my own.

(37)
Anonymous,
December 22, 2008 12:35 AM

Good for you!

Good for you for having the courage of your convictions even though you weren't sure at the time of all the resons why it was so important to do so. I've been in a position similar to yours and it's lonely for a time -- but it also feels good to know that you've done the right thing.

(36)
Anonymous,
December 22, 2008 12:24 AM

great article

what a great story of discovery! very inspiring!

(35)
Jacqueline Mamoni,
December 22, 2008 12:13 AM

I could wite for an hour Gevura...

But all i will say is: We are Kindred Spirits..And will think of you in the next candle lighting .. Happy Channakah

(34)
Leah Esther,
December 21, 2008 11:27 PM

Thank you for the article

I was crying when I read the article. I am Baal Tshuva for about four years. My family don't understand my decision. My children, who's 23 and 20yo, say that Mom gone "crazy", in a loving way, but... And I don't know how to help their Jewish souls to wake up, not to be lost. I just pray everyday for them. Everything else would considered propaganda, even if I e-mail them this beautiful article. Thank you again.
Leah Esther

(33)
Jessica,
December 21, 2008 10:14 PM

WOW

I am amazed at how well you stood even in the midst of the school and adults even, coming against you. That would be very difficult at a young age but that is what the Jewish people do. This is just the story of Chanukkah, and you are one who stood against assimilation as a banner to the rest of us.

(32)
Chaya Baruch,
December 21, 2008 9:25 PM

Good on you!

I'm so proud of you standing up to intimidation as you did. That was a big move for a 15 year old girl very much in the minority. But the lessons you learned will no doubt echo through generations of your own family, and who knows how far flung your influence will go in your community. Bruchot!

(31)
Anonymous,
December 21, 2008 9:21 PM

Great article

Thank you for this article - I think it articulates much of what many baal teshuva go through.

(30)
al l.,
December 21, 2008 9:03 PM

apology

As an evangelical 'Christian "I deeply apologize for the experiences you were put thru in high school. How much better for the coach to celebrate your Jewishness as one of g_ds chosen people. Blessings!

(29)
Anonymous,
December 21, 2008 7:51 PM

being pushed against the wall made me find our roots as well

Your story reminded me of those awful days in public school in the south where I was the only kids not singing chrismas songs and pushed around on the bus for my ancestors "killing JC". That childhood persecution made my family find our roots and become observant today. More American jewry needs to see look at history and be proud and strong instead of just tring to fit into the crowd. Keep up the great work!

(28)
Scott,
December 21, 2008 6:11 PM

Good for Gevura

I've been thinking about heroes lately and here comes a good story about a hero.
I'm from Texas and I can tell you that at times it's diffcult to be different. In an extremely christain culture it's hard to walk the line between respect for the beliefs of others and being faithful to one's own. Is it okay to sit resepctfully before the game while a christian prayer is lead? If you do this is the next step being forced to attend a christian convocation to receive graduation honors or hold class office?
What this woman did as a teeneger was simply heroic, even moreso because even though she was in the right and won her fight, she knew there would be consequences. She was right and still lost her place on the squad.
Gevura made it that much easier for the next student to stand up for themselves, whether it be standing up for her faith or morals or civil rights.
Hopefully her story will encourage others and bring comfort to those in similar situations.

(27)
Steven Rosenbaum, M.D.,
December 21, 2008 5:57 PM

Lauren,
What an amazing story of courage against such odds. You rightfully should be so very proud of yourself. It is a shame that you were faced with such prejudicial families and students and yet it is a very strong commentary that even in our great country, being Jewish does not come along with all the "freedoms" others may have. People should realize that our "freedom" is tenuous and only available when we "tow the line" so to speak. Congratulations on being strong in your conviction and I hope you and your family have an enjoyable Hannukah and Happy secular new year.

(26)
Rachel,
December 21, 2008 5:57 PM

Thank you for this story, it is truly inspirational. The sad thing is people like your cheerleading coach are still working in public schools all over the South today. I hope with time, that will change, but hopefully your story will encourage others to stand up to those people in their lives as well.

(25)
Anonymous,
December 21, 2008 4:27 PM

WOW!

Wow, Lauren, what an amazing story! I am so proud of you. I am proud of your parents for maitaining their Jewish identity and for passing it along to you. Anything meaningful comes with a cost.
I grew up in Missouri and remember all too well the, "You are going to go hell if you don't believe in sheker hanavi(the false prophet). Crazy, but I made it through. It was difficult enough to try not to sing the Christian songs in the plays and the like. We made ornaments and other physical items that represented holidays of religions I don't believe in.
I am very proud of you and especially happy to see that you have married a rabbi and all that you have.
Interestingly enough, the coach who quit, I believe she was seriously in the wrong-not just because of her making threats that were against soemone else's religion, but also for her guilting and shaming of a student rather than being a real coach. It seems this lady had something else wrong upstairs in that head of hers.

(24)
Amy,
December 21, 2008 3:52 PM

You go girl!

Thank you for sharing your story, I am sure that many can relate. You showed strength, while the coach showed only weakness. Continue your journey and share your experiences with others.

(23)
J. Jacklin,
December 21, 2008 3:46 PM

Jewish cheerleader

My elementary school years were in Curacau, N.A.Home of many fine Jews. My parents best friends and children were Multi-national, Catholics, Jews and Protestants.My Jewish "Uncle" William, when asked why he had no children, said God had not sent any. I replied that I would ask Baby Jesus for one and a year later the W. Cohen baby arrived! My elated Uncle W. took me to his store to pick anything I wanted and I DID! It took the delivery car to get it home.However, Daddy said, "NO!" against W's protest all was returned and I got to choose one! Later, as a teacher in Canada,I visited W. in Israel and fell in love with Israel. Ahome, I taught the little ones that Jesus was a Jew,etc.W. came to Canada and visited my class in N. Vancouver, B.C.We started a "School Seder"assemly tradtion, that has continued 13 years after my retirement.Love and understanding warms hearts and the world.

(22)
Kelly Woo,
December 21, 2008 3:42 PM

This article could not have come at a better time

Hello,
I am also from the south, Texas to be exact, but I have been living in California for quite some time now. Just last week, one of my "born again Christian" friends sent me a video about "non-christians" trying to stop Christians from celebrating Christmas. Needless to say, I was outraged, and I told her how I felt. Well, I received many horrible messages from people who I thought were my friends. In the span of one week, I have lost a lifetime of friends (good riddance, right) My ancestors have been in the U.S. since the beginning of the 20th century and the men in my family have fought in every war since then. I have always felt very American, but now I ask myself, "what am I doing here?"

(21)
Anonymous,
December 21, 2008 3:40 PM

I grew up in the Reform movement. I remember how Protestant evangelicals would tell me how my ancestors were burning for eternity in this place called "Hell," along with the supposedly fallen angel called "Satan."

When President Reagan went to the Bitburg cemetery in Germany, I was scared at the outpouring of antisemitism worldwide. I therefore contacted the local Chabad rabbi and wasked him about life after death, the source of evil, and eternal hellfire and damnation. (The Reform rabbi hadn''t a clue.) I hope to make Aliyah before next Rosh Hoshanah.

(20)
aura,
December 21, 2008 3:31 PM

are you sure this was a religious controversy

As a teacher in the bible belt I don't deny that there is religious bigotry in the world, yet reading your article from my "teacher/educator" perspective I am not sure this was a religious issue at all. I wonder if Coach Turner was just mad that you disrespected her in front of the other girls...as you said, " (you) refused to serve the detentions, triggering a spiraling decent of back and forth between myself and the coach who was forcefully trying to maintain her control of the squad". It appears that it was obvious to her from the get go and your confident stance that you were Jewish. My sneaky suspicion is that Coach Turner is more concerned that you grew up to be respectful of teachers than to prove her wrong because of your faith. Perhaps she was rude to make the comments she made, perhaps she made you feel as if you needed to be something you are not. But as a teacher, I now personally how difficult it is to be disrespected in front of your own students because I have been disrespected and judged for issues that had nothing to do with their faith, looks, class, gender, etc.etc. I am on the side of teachers-sorry to be your "devil's advocate".

(19)
Bob Marcus,
December 21, 2008 3:02 PM

Give Me a Shin, Give Me A Mem...

What a bunch of "scmaltz,"
Maybe I missed it, but what I didn't read is: now this author is devoted to helping Jewish congregations in the Bible Belt and, in fact, the South and elsewhere, strive to make Judaism meaningful, not for big brat mitzvah soirees, but Tikun Olam, that participatory family events including services with contemporary songs and Torah studies with provocative contemparary themes, and all excuberantly expressed, with bagels, lox and Slivovitz (age appropriate!) and arguments about whether Korach was right(I agree with him)etc.
Nowhere did she express how she regretted the waste of time "assimilating" the vapid values of her surroundings, when her own Jewish community had failed her and her peers.

(18)
Allen,
December 21, 2008 2:18 PM

Never back down

I have been verbally assaulted for being jewish since I was 2 years old, when my family uprooted from Brooklyn (My parents were both born in Poland and escaped from WW2 via Russia, then my mom went from there to Bolivia), to Los Angeles. I didn't understand why I was being picked on until my parents explained the Holocaust to me...ever since then I felt the world was a cruel and unjust place and I lived on rage and anger. I got into the martial arts and fought back every chance I could. It got me into trouble at times but I didn't care because I would never let that happen to me or ANYONE again. I would fight for anyone who would be picked on for any racial, religious, or handicapped reason. I have since then settled down with the violent reaction (Thanks to learning Kabbalah) and now fight back with sharing the knowledge of proper living...I still get angry inside though when I see injustice and I will never back down from facing the issues at hand...your story only shows the ignorance people have towards anyone who has different views than their own...now, with a new President at hand, hopefully this will create miracles that bring about change in the minds of all people...when we reach a higher spiritual unity, that will be Moshiach..

(17)
Graciela,
December 21, 2008 2:15 PM

Gevura,
I admire your strenght in standind up to your convictions. Going against your friends, coach and co-players took a lot of power to do what you knew to be right even though you were not a practicing jewes at that time.

(16)
Donna,
December 21, 2008 1:48 PM

Proud Of You

I can't tell you how proud I am of you. It took an extreme amount of courage and srenghth to do what you did, not buckle by the peer pressure and do what was right. I think that your changing the world for the better began during that trying time. The example that you set is something, that those who opposed you, will learn from and you set an positive example for them and everyone.
You are a beautiful person. May Hashem Bless You and Your Loved Ones. Thank you for sharing your story.

(15)
jessica,
December 21, 2008 1:33 PM

very much enjoyed this article

It is very intereting to hear what makes someone turn back towards Judaism and find their place. I very much enjoyed this article and would like to see more articles by this Author.

(14)
Cara,
December 21, 2008 1:08 PM

Very inspirational!!

I grew up similar to the author, and I find the article inspirational. You never know in what direction a new path will lead you. Keep writing... Keep sharing!

(13)
Anonymous,
December 21, 2008 12:30 PM

Thank You

I thank Hashem for young people like this. Young people who will stand as young Davids, against the 'giants', who would have them conform. This young woman is a treasure.
May the light within her, continue to illuminate our world.

(12)
Anonymous,
December 21, 2008 12:05 PM

In Georgia

I am certain that this happened at the University of Georgia in Athens, GA. G-d Bless Deborah Lipstadt AND the ADL for stepping in & assisting. Heartening to hear "the rest of the story" from this brave young woman.

(11)
Ester,
December 21, 2008 11:54 AM

Beautiful story

Just one comment: we should never forget that we are in exile, uninvited guests in another people's land. The right way would be to go to the coach quietly and tell her you have a problem going to church. Embarrassing her before her charges would never work. (Of course in your case it was all part of G-d's plan to bring you closer to Him, I'm speaking about this problem in general.)

(10)
joe derosa,
December 21, 2008 11:25 AM

Never forget to act from your heart.

You did well.
I have experienced my share of bigotry growing up in NYC from people of the Jewish faith, Old line Yankee Protestants, people of other faiths including other Catholics.
I was born a Chatholic but in my heart I am a person who believes that all beliefs lead to One God.
We choose our own road to pray to God.
Happy Chanukah to you and yor family.

(9)
Sherri,
December 21, 2008 11:00 AM

Inspiring!

What an amazing strength you had, not to back down, at a time (actually several times)most would have surely rather "fit in". That is also a credit to your parents who were able to give you that confidence, pride and strength which you utilized despite almost overwhelming odds. What an inspiring story of finding one's way. Like the previous comment, I would love to hear how you filled that void. Was it a school, people, or something else that helped you to the place you are in today? Thank you for sharing.

(8)
Catherine,
December 21, 2008 10:25 AM

I understand as a Jew in central Kansas

I sure can understand this a lot. But as a convert to Judaism from a Xtian pastor family, I got to see the ugly side of the churches that the leaders hide from the lay people. That's what I now show to the Xtians here, and it has stopped a lot of mouths.

(7)
Renee Chernin,
December 21, 2008 10:06 AM

From a fellow ex-Georgian:

You GO girl!

(6)
Batsheva,
December 21, 2008 9:52 AM

couragous

Thank you for sharing your inspiring story! What a couragous young girl you were!

(5)
Allan F. Hyatt,
December 21, 2008 9:31 AM

Thank You!

Thank you for sharing your story and for hanging in there.

(4)
Jeff,
December 21, 2008 8:50 AM

Great job!

It sounds like the coach had a bit of a pride problem. Immediately after learning of your Jewish faith, the coach should have relented in all disciplinary efforts. Great job. Coaches can be replaced, but your faith is much more important.

(3)
Joel Glazier,
December 21, 2008 8:45 AM

Thank you for sharing a universal but unique story

What a wonderful story. Be it in "The Bible Belt" or even in "Blue States" like my own Delaware, challenges, struggles and even legal fights continue. Individuals, as exemplified so well by Gevura Davis prevail. As a retired teacher I have known similar situations like Gevura encountered. Perhaps they make us stronger individuals and I find those idendity building struggles are unique to those of us who choose to live outside of Israel or large Jewish enclaves. This story is one to be shared with students and others of all ages. Thank you for writing it out so well--a fine Hanukkah (or anytime) gift.

(2)
Joan Sullivan,
December 21, 2008 8:20 AM

Taken Hostage by Others

I am a Christian who studies Torah, learns Hebrew vocabulary and grieves the forever injustices perpetrated on jewish people everywhere. I believe it is in the Bible that at the end of the age, ten men from differing nations will take hold of the garment of a jewish person and cry out "Tell us what you know"......as your rabbis' state: may those days be fulfilled speedily!!

(1)
Anonymous,
December 21, 2008 7:07 AM

amazing story I will share with my 8th grade students!

What an unbelievable journey you have taken! I would love to know more about what you learned during your study in Jerusalem--to fill in right before your last paragraph...
Thank you for sharing your experience!

I live in rural Montana where the Cholov Yisrael milk is difficult to obtain and very expensive. So I drink regular milk. What is your view on this?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Jewish law requires that there be rabbinic supervision during the milking process to ensure that the milk comes from a kosher animal. In the United States, many people rely on the Department of Agriculture's regulations and controls as sufficiently stringent to fulfill the rabbinic requirement for supervision.

Most of the major Kashrut organizations in the United States rely on this as well. You will therefore find many kosher products in America certified with a 'D' next to the kosher symbol. Such products – unless otherwise specified on the label – are not Cholov Yisrael and are assumed kosher based on the DOA's guarantee.

There are many, however, do not rely on this, and will eat only dairy products that are designated as Cholov Yisrael (literally, "Jewish milk"). This is particularly true in large Jewish communities, where Cholov Yisrael is widely available.

Rabbi Moshe Feinstein wrote that under limited conditions, such as an institution which consumes a lot of milk and Cholov Yisrael is generally unavailable or especially expensive, American milk is acceptable, as the government supervision is adequate to prevent non-kosher ingredients from being added.

It should be added that the above only applies to milk itself, which is marketed as pure cow's milk. All other dairy products, such as cheeses and butter, may contain non-kosher ingredients and always require kosher certification. In addition, Rabbi Feinstein's ruling applies only in the United States, where government regulations are considered reliable. In other parts of the world, including Europe, Cholov Yisrael is a requirement.

There are additional esoteric reasons for being stringent regarding Cholov Yisrael, and because of this it is generally advisable to consume only Cholov Yisroel dairy foods.

In 1889, 800 Jews arrived in Buenos Aires, marking the birth of the modern Jewish community in Argentina. These immigrants were fleeing poverty and pogroms in Russia, and moved to Argentina because of its open door policy of immigration. By 1920, more than 150,000 Jews were living in Argentina. Juan Peron's rise to power in 1946 was an ominous sign, as he was a Nazi sympathizer with fascist leanings. Peron halted Jewish immigration to Argentina, introduced mandatory Catholic religious instruction in public schools, and allowed Argentina to become a haven for fleeing Nazis. (In 1960, Israeli agents abducted Adolf Eichmann from a Buenos Aires suburb.) Today, Argentina has the largest Jewish community in Latin America with 250,000, though terror attacks have prompted many young people to emigrate. In 1992, the Israeli Embassy in Buenos Aires was bombed, killing 32 people. In 1994, the Jewish community headquarters in Buenos Aires was bombed, killing 85 people. The perpetrators have never been apprehended.

Be aware of what situations and behaviors give you pleasure. When you feel excessively sad and cannot change your attitude, make a conscious effort to take some action that might alleviate your sadness.

If you anticipate feeling sad, prepare a list of things that might make you feel better. It could be talking to a specific enthusiastic individual, running, taking a walk in a quiet area, looking at pictures of family, listening to music, or reading inspiring words.

While our attitude is a major factor in sadness, lack of positive external situations and events play an important role in how we feel.

[If a criminal has been executed by hanging] his body may not remain suspended overnight ... because it is an insult to God (Deuteronomy 21:23).

Rashi explains that since man was created in the image of God, anything that disparages man is disparaging God as well.

Chilul Hashem, bringing disgrace to the Divine Name, is one of the greatest sins in the Torah. The opposite of chilul Hashem is kiddush Hashem, sanctifying the Divine Name. While this topic has several dimensions to it, there is a living kiddush Hashem which occurs when a Jew behaves in a manner that merits the respect and admiration of other people, who thereby respect the Torah of Israel.

What is chilul Hashem? One Talmudic author stated, "It is when I buy meat from the butcher and delay paying him" (Yoma 86a). To cause someone to say that a Torah scholar is anything less than scrupulous in meeting his obligations is to cause people to lose respect for the Torah.

Suppose someone offers us a business deal of questionable legality. Is the personal gain worth the possible dishonor that we bring not only upon ourselves, but on our nation? If our personal reputation is ours to handle in whatever way we please, shouldn't we handle the reputation of our nation and the God we represent with maximum care?

Jews have given so much, even their lives, for kiddush Hashem. Can we not forego a few dollars to avoid chilul Hashem?

Today I shall...

be scrupulous in all my transactions and relationships to avoid the possibility of bringing dishonor to my God and people.

With stories and insights,
Rabbi Twerski's new book Twerski on Machzor makes Rosh Hashanah prayers more meaningful. Click here to order...