November 25, 2003

STORY TIME

Australiaís Official National Artistic Notables (ONAN) rave about their talents as cinematic storytellers, but, as Bernie Slattery points out, they ignore many excellent stories of Australian life. Heís doing something about it:

Waddabout a comp for the 10 best of "Our Stories" to be pitched as movie productions? I'll shout the winner pots at the Bush Inn, West Toorak on Satdee night.

My pitch: She Cares, the inspiring story of two confused Queensland women who, after years of distrust, are brought together by the mysterious voices in their heads.

I predict Margo will have a Rosie O'Donnell-style breakdown. Some cathartic Dostoevskian crisis that will lance the abscess of resentment in her soul and let all the hot hate gush forth. Probably, the day after the 2004 Federal election.

Iím gunna break into your house
Iím gunna break down your door
Iím gunna open your draws
And sniff your undies
Your clothes are on the line
Your jocks are looking fine
Iím gunna bring them to my face
And sniff your undies
Why wonít you have sex with me

Jihad against America

Theres some easy listenin funtime music. Jock Sniffers of the world unite. blah

How about this -
Emotionally fragile writer 'Mango' confesses tearfully in a conversation on a late night radio session about going home to Queensland to visit the folks - "The're racist but what can you do, you've got to love them, they are family". Projects this view of family onto Australia. A strange but compelling relationship develops between advocacy journalist and a racist but lovable underdog politician on a confrontational and violent federal election campaign trail. 'Mango' feels conflicted and guilty with her role as media oppressor and has to write a book as therapy. Later on racist but lovable underdog politician is persecuted through the courts by mad right wing conspirator and is sent to prison for 3 years. Then a few scenes follow with full body searches and one scene with an Aboriginal cellmate asking her to "please explain" as she tries to teach them to read and write. With a dramatic final appeal successful she is released from prison to an adoring public. Australian Electoral Commission brings down mad right wing conspirator and a rival propangandist columnist is humiliated. Racist but lovable underdog politician resumes her mother figure role of someone who listens and cares about 'ordinary people'and successfully stands as an Independent. Remembering the meetings with underdog but not racist prisoners and with 'Mango' explaining the nonsense of her old policies she aligns with the Greens. Holding the balance of power, she brings down a heartless right-wing populist government and shame finally disappears from A.B.C. staffrooms, inner city coffee shops and N.G.O. cocktail parties.