Greasy spoons are fine but
who needs a cafe for cats?

Clive Smith

STEVE CANAVAN: It was a lot of rattle over just a little roll

We’ve all heard of the good old greasy spoon cafes in England, the cultured al fresco cafes of Europe and even the cannabis cafes in Amsterdam.

But where it’s at right now – the new big thing in coffee shops – are the cat cafes. Well, in Japan these places are big anyway.

As the name suggests, this is the place to go if you enjoy a skinny latte surrounded by dozens of cats. For the cost of around £7.50 an hour, patrons can read a book, sip coffee and stare at the cats.

Apparently, people will stay for the whole day, even take a day off work to relax amongst the furry creatures.

I just don’t understand this at all. Maybe it’s because if I had the choice between cats and dogs, it would be dogs every time.

Cats are selfish creatures, not loyal like a dog. If your next door neighbour fed Felix sardines and all you provided was a tin of stinking cat food, there’s only one place your beloved feline would be spending its time.

But I guess dog cafes wouldn’t take off in the Far East – some of the locals are more likely to be eating dog burgers at the cat cafe than stroking Rex whilst drinking mochas.

Why would people actually pay to be a crazy cat lady?

It’s not as if cats are even rare in Japan and although some Japanese people see cats as lucky, it’s snakes that are supposed to bring money and wealth, but you don’t see people flicking through a Stephen King novel with a rattlesnake for company.

These places are now a regular feature amongst the karaoke joints, strip clubs and bars. The owners of the cafes give the cats names and profiles and the patrons choose their favourite cat.

Have human relation got so bad that instead of conversing with each other we now seek out friendship with animals?

I thought things were bad when people started spending days on end talking to random people on the internet, surrounded by Red Bull and empty pizza boxes.

What next? Is someone going to open a cafe where next to each table is a fence panel and the customer chooses his favourite and then creosotes it for an extra £5?