Archive for July, 2014

“Your normal coping mechanisms of “I’m going to make a ‘to do’ list, and once I finish my ‘to do’ list I will feel better” are just not going to work anymore.” Sandra Tsing Loh

“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Mahatma Ghandi

Change…or die! These were my choices. Of course, I chose to change. You may think this is a no-brainer but I’m not talking about changing the wallpaper in my dining room, the color of my hair or my address. No, I’m talking about epic change as in extensive, heroic, journeying and possibly the involvement of supernatural beings.

I read similar words in Christiane Northrup’s book, The Wisdom of Menopause. Her health and sanity at risk, she faced a similar choice during her perimenopause years, change…or die. For some, death is literal, others figurative. Either way, it is death. So to avoid death and truly feel alive again she had to give up the fantasy of how she thought her life would be, let go of everything she thought she should be, ditch all those crazy illusions, get real and find the courage to say enough is enough! So, she and her husband parted ways. She switched up her career and ventured out into the unknown. Sound familiar?

Dr. Northrup thanks menopause for her new found life. And she is not alone. “We are awakening in masse”… she explains, “40 million strong!” We women are a force to be reckoned with as our bodies and brains are literally being rewired for the second half of life. As our hormonal veil lifts, we are no longer living in an estrogen cloud which keeps us focused on “the needs and feelings of others.” We are now refocusing our attention on ourselves.

What we may call raging hormones during “the change” is actually a fabulous opportunity to reinvent ourselves! After watching thousands of women go through this process as well as experiencing it herself, Dr. Northrup writes, “Menopause is an exciting developmental stage…one that, when participated consciously, holds enormous promise for transforming and healing our bodies, minds and spirits at the deepest levels.”

Perimenopause and menopause can be an exciting and extremely liberating time of our lives if we choose to fully embrace it. It’s also scary as hell as we begin to see another side of ourselves. A side you only see on reality T.V.

So, do not be freaked out if one day you have this overwhelming desire to spend a week at Burning Man in the Nevada desert in the middle of summer with your best plutonic male friend of ten years, Mr. Y, only to find that you have been secretly in love with him all this time. Don’t freak out even more when you leave your family and run off with him only to then suffer the pain of him going back to his family. This is what happened to Sandra Tsing Loh, author of The Madwoman in the Volvo: My Year of Raging Hormones. Some of us flip out. Some of us turn our worlds upside down. Some of us turn inwards. Whatever turn you take during this crazy stage of life Sandra urges women to indulge a bit whether it be with a Dr. Pepper, chocolate, Chardonnay or a personal trainer.

Burning Man

I definitely indulged! Still do. And, I don’t regret it. Sometimes it is necessary to shake things up. But I am more careful these days. I have found some semblance of balance and sanity amid all the insanity. And, let me tell you, simply cutting back on sugar, alcohol and eating more kale is not the cure-all that the books promise.

The cure-all requires big epic change on a physical, emotional and spiritual level.

For me, knowing more than my diet had to change if I was to truly embrace epic change, thus avoid an early death, was a pretty big motivator to make some really tough decisions in my life. Leaving my marriage after 22 years was one of them. Honestly, it was and still is the most difficult choice I have ever made. I continue to struggle with it. But, this leap along with a few other big hurdles has resulted in some very positive changes. Not only have I changed the way I eat, I have changed the way I play, the way I pray, the way I live and I the way I love. And, it’s working for me.

I knew deep down inside I was the one that needed to change. No one could do that for me. And, I could not wait for others to change either. I could not wait for a hot sexy man to kick down my door and scrape me off the floor or for society to wise up and catch up or the status quo to revolutionize or the planets to align or a higher power to intervene. It was all me. As my friend Susan brilliantly said, “The most difficult battles are the ones we need to change within ourselves.” So, I battled it out; my own personal Armageddon. But the outcome has been worth it. My second coming!

You can be your worst enemy or your best ally. It’s your choice. I have decided to be my best ally, accept the changes my brain and body are going through and use it to my advantage. Actually, I am not just accepting it; I’m embracing it, cuddling it, squeezing it, hugging it, and loving it. Because this epic change is not only inevitable it is transformational! And, the really cool thing about this is that as we change, “It is a safe bet the world is going to change, willingly or otherwise, right along with us,” says Dr. Northrup.

So, get on the bandwagon and join the movement my friends! Choose Change and prepare for your second coming. Sending all you beautiful intelligent sophisticated raging women out there (and the men that love you) healing vibes and lots and lots of love.