He should look for something new, where he can feel comfortable with the comp...

Posted
09/13/2018

He should look for something new, where he can feel comfortable with the company culture.

You should not talk to his co workers about what they think of his job performance

Yes the thought of confronting anyone makes me freak out, I'm so not a confrontational person. I can do it, but only when I know it's the right thing to do

I had to ask as I feel like this person is getting away with really shitty behaviour, in fact getting rewarded for it

It makes me feel so angry that what this person says affects our whole family, that my DH (dear husband) is not getting career opportunities and the chance for us to live overseas again.

And that DH (dear husband) has been working years and years in an unfulfilling job, sacrificing the chance to work in other jobs he'd be happier in along the way, so he can take a shot at getting another placement and making money for the family

Has he applied for a position in a different location? My husband's company rarely allows employees to repeat international locations, and they should prepare to work in the developing world for several postings as well. Interest in jobs in different locations have different levels of competitiveness.

It's time to move on. Because he doesn't HAVE to move on, he can take his time and find the perfect thing.

It will be pretty much impossible for him to overcome the perception that he didn't do a good job on the assignment. Doesn't matter if he did a good job or not. Perception is reality.

I don't know if it's the case with your dh (dear husband) or not, but I will say that it is actually possible that he didn't do as great a job as he thinks. If he had, presumably his boss would be standing up for him and countering this bad mouthing. You can work hard and be diligent and leave a huge mess for the person behind you. Trust me. The person who took over for me when I was on my last maternity leave did exactly that. It literally took me a year to fix what she messed up in 3 months. She'd been doing things that same way for years with another group and no one ever told her that her basic premise was completely wrong.

Yes the thought of confronting anyone makes me freak out, I'm so not a co...

Posted
09/13/2018

Yes the thought of confronting anyone makes me freak out, I'm so not a confrontational person. I can do it, but only when I know it's the right thing to do

I had to ask as I feel like this person is getting away with really shitty behaviour, in fact getting rewarded for it

It makes me feel so angry that what this person says affects our whole family, that my DH is not getting career opportunities and the chance for us to live overseas again.

And that DH has been working years and years in an unfulfilling job, sacrificing the chance to work in other jobs he'd be happier in along the way, so he can take a shot at getting another placement and making money for the family

I'm also going to weigh in on this.

Your dh should not have been sacrificing his career for years over the chance for maybe working overseas again. He should have moved on a long time ago and found a job that pays more every day, better suits his career ambitions and forward momentum, etc.

If you're going to be annoyed with anyone over this situation, be annoyed with dh (dear husband) for not being more of a go-getter.

It would reflect amazingly poorly on him if you said anything to anyone he works with. Spend that energy on sending dh to some counseling so he can work on his self-esteem and ability to speak up for himself in a professional manner.

I'm also going to weigh in on this.
Your dh should not have been sacrifi...

Last edited
09/14/2018

I'm also going to weigh in on this.

Your dh should not have been sacrificing his career for years over the chance for maybe working overseas again. He should have moved on a long time ago and found a job that pays more every day, better suits his career ambitions and forward momentum, etc.

If you're going to be annoyed with anyone over this situation, be annoyed with dh for not being more of a go-getter.

It would reflect amazingly poorly on him if you said anything to anyone he works with. Spend that energy on sending dh to some counseling so he can work on his self-esteem and ability to speak up for himself in a professional manner.

Yes you make a good point about perception being reality.

I know he's a good worker as I've worked with him before in the same place, but I know often the quiet achievers get overlooked

It's true my DH (dear husband) needs to be able to represent himself better and have more confidence. I'll see how I can encourage him to get help in that area.

Has he applied for a position in a different location? My husband's compa...

Posted
09/14/2018

Has he applied for a position in a different location? My husband's company rarely allows employees to repeat international locations, and they should prepare to work in the developing world for several postings as well. Interest in jobs in different locations have different levels of competitiveness.

Unfortunately this particular country is the one with the most jobs that come up, there are others but no where near as many jobs. They're all developing countries but still really popular with applicants because of the money. I trhibk you're right though, if he's going to keep trying he should focus on other countries

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