Seoul Man

I have a message for my Korean exchange student, 20 years in the making.

Sorry, remaining 6,929,999,999 people in the world who have no idea what I am talking about, let me explain.

Jung-Ju, where are you?

When I was in high school, I applied to participate in an exchange program to South Korea. Eight kids were chosen from Vancouver, Canada, and eight kids from Seoul, South Korea. For a month our new Korean friends would live with us in our homes, follow our daily routine and live like “Canadians.” The following year, we were to do the same in Korea.

Even though it was 20 years ago, I remember it well. The Canadians kids went to the airport to pick up our new friends. Fittingly, my buddy’s name was Jung-Ju, although I was hoping for my trip to Korea they didn’t expect me to change my name to Richard-Buddhist.

Anyway, Jung-Ju and I had a nice time together. Sure there was the language barrier, but he tried his best to learn. I remember one time in particular when he put on a pair of knock off Ray-bans, he asked me, “Richie, what do you call these?”

Jung-Ju wasn’t the only one trying to learn a new language. I picked up a Berlitz language tape and listened to it diligently.

“Hello, how are you – anyung-haseo.”

“How much is this – olmaeo”

“Roast beef – roast beef.”

But the real action didn’t happen until the next year when we went to Korea. In Canada, I was just a regular teenager. But in Korea, I was famous.

It was the early 1990s and apparently it was uncommon to see Western looking people walking the streets of Korea. So everywhere I went people gawked. They would come up to me and touch my skin, touch my hair, or try to speak to me even though the only English words they knew were “Hello” and “MacDonald’s.” There wasn’t much I could do but reply: “Well hello to you too Burger King.”

"Richard Rabkin, the people of Korea love your yellow hair!”

I usually went with Jung-Ju to school in the mornings, and on the first day they had an assembly in my honor. 2000 boys assembled in an auditorium while I stood on the podium with their principal who addressed them in Korean, looking at me every few minutes and smiling, in a creepy “hey, you want some candy” kind of way. At the end of the assembly, he switched to English and said, “Richard Rabkin, the people of Korea love your yellow hair!”

One day that I remember well, we went to an ancient city called Kyongju. If my skin color made me a rarity in Seoul, in Kyongju I was a unicorn. I was greeted by throngs of people trying to touch me and get my autograph. Just to add a little fuel to the fire I pointed to myself and informed my new fans, “Beverly Hills 90210.” That elicited some wild screams, especially from the teenaged girls. You’ve got to love globalization.

Needless to say, my days in Korea were a teenage boy’s dream. I was different – special. But being different, especially when you are a teenager isn’t always special. I learned that when our group went to see the production of Fiddler on the Roof. After the show Jung Ju asked me, “Richie, you are Jewish?” I nodded. Then pointing to Tevye and company, he added, “Like that?” With what felt like a hundred set of eyes now on me, time seemed to stand still. My non Jewish friends looked at me awaiting a response. All of the sudden, being different wasn’t as appealing.

“Like that?” I responded. “What do you think I am, some kind of fanatic?”

Me, Jung Ju and his classmates

The Canadian contingent rewarded me with a chuckle at my retort. Phew, pressure was off.

But Jung-Ju’s response was strange. He didn’t laugh. He almost seemed disappointed. And for years, I’ve always found his response confusing. Until now.

Recently, I saw on article on Aish.com titled Why Koreans Are in Love with Judaism. The article documents an interesting phenomenon. “The Talmud is a bestseller in South Korea - even the government insists it is good for you, and has included it on the curriculum for primary school children…The fascination with Judaism does not end there. Media outlets regularly run newspaper columns on ‘Jewish education’, weekly radio features, and television documentaries, all of them showing Jews in a glowing light.” The article ends with a quote from a Jewish resident of South Korea named Naomi Zaslow, "If you refuse a plate of pork ribs here, people will be dumbfounded. If you tell them it's because you're Jewish, they'll unfailingly look impressed and say: 'Oh, you must be very clever'."

When we stand up confidently and say that we are different, our non Jewish friends and colleagues usually respect us for it.

We’ve all had those moments when having to stand up and say that we’re different is uncomfortable. Whether we keep kosher and have to order a special meal, take the day off work or school for Yom Kippur, or whether we just answer really awkwardly when someone wishes us “Merry Christmas.” But in my experience, most times, when we stand up confidently and say that we are different, our non Jewish friends and colleagues respect us for it, even at times admire us.

That’s why I’ve been looking for Jung-Ju. I know we haven’t spoken for 20 years, but Jung-Ju, if you are out there, I would like to take another stab at answering your question: Yes, I am Jewish, like that. And proud of it.

About the Author

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 16

(15)
Florence Singer,
February 6, 2014 6:26 PM

enjoyed

first time I haveheardyour jokes - so funny.

(14)
Leilani Peltz,
September 7, 2011 6:42 AM

Wonderful Article

My Rabbi forwarded your article to me via email. I am currently stationed in South Korea. Sadly, I will be leaving in about four months.
Your article is full of a wisdom that I hope reaches many people's eyes. Living in Korea, I often have to say that I don't eat pork or ask for a meal without it...my husband tells people I am vegetarian, although I am quite the opposite. I should start explaining that I am Jewish. I am very proud of it, and I even know the Korean for it. Yu-dae-in-ui
Btw, the resident you quoted is one of my good friends. She recently moved to Israel, and reading her comment left a smile on my face.
Thank you for your article and for brightening my day with it. I hope you find Jung-Ju. I am sure that he has thought of you, too.
Shalom!

(13)
Ariel Ephraim,
August 26, 2011 8:11 PM

Inspiring

Thank you for sharing your story. This article is beautiful, funny, and inspiring. It really touched me.

(12)
Michael Yomtov,
July 10, 2011 3:35 PM

kinship

because of their recent history, koreans have identified with jews and israel for longer than you would think. in 1967 i was in korea with the american army, and when the '67 war broke out, there was a line all around the block with the israeli embassy with koreans volunteering to fight for israel.

(11)
DENNY McDowell,
July 5, 2011 11:32 PM

Very good story

I am a gentile lady who loves the jewish people. After all our christianity comes from Israel. I know that there has been alot of agnst between us & I'd like you to forgive us for not loving & supporting you as we should.
Also, I have a best girlfriend who is a Korean christian & she dearly loves the jewish people. She & her husband spent 3 wks. in Israel last Sept. They loved it. It felt like home to them.
I love jewish humor the yiddish language is humerous & colorful. Be blessed. Your friend. Denny McDowell

(10)
Julia Arango,
July 5, 2011 5:25 PM

Jewish life in Korea

My adult days in Korea were a dream! The Army sent me for one month in 1992. I loved it and asked to go the next year. In 1994 I got a job as a teacher in a Korean school. Everywhere I went, I got admiring glances ( because of a fair complexion and dyed red hair). People treated me like Princess Diana. My teaching contract was for one year, but I ended up staying ther for 5 years. The ONLY reason I left was because I coulfn't find my bashert there; this was before JDate. I still think aobut going back, especially since there is now a Chabad House there!

(9)
Jaime Shapiro,
July 5, 2011 1:37 PM

Another "would love to answer question"

15 years ago while being at college and speaking about religion with a non Jewish friend I asked him "do you know who said love others as you love yourself? " - Expecting him not to answer so I could say Rabi Akiva - he quickly answered Jesucristo... Ooooops... Did not what to say...
Now I know Hashem said it first in a pasuk from the Torah in Vayikra... JC learned it from the Torah...
I hope we can make our kids be young guys that have the knowledge to be proud of our Judaism .

(8)
Anonymous,
July 5, 2011 2:54 AM

Nothing to be afraid of .. even in Australia!

Thanks for this article. I work at a Melbourne Australian college with many local Aussie and international students. I wear a yarmulka and they all seem to respect me the other staff members and students. We went to an all day seminar and the University paid for my kosher meal!

(7)
melanie chartoff,
July 4, 2011 5:48 PM

Adventures of a Jew in Ju land

What an incredible, foundational experience for you, RIchard--being host and being guest to a completely unique culture has given you a more open mind to differences than most of us.
From America, Happy Independence from tyranny Day!

(6)
jeanne,
July 4, 2011 5:13 PM

This is a great story of how things come full circle. We all have had this experience and most often process the feelings, coming out on the other side.
This is also most true about hearing Anti Jewish/Israel comments and not rising. Most of us after reflection say 'never again' and the next time rise to the occasion in defense.

(5)
Steve,
July 3, 2011 9:54 PM

Being different is never easy.

In the long run it is what matters for eternity.

(4)
mark,
July 3, 2011 7:01 PM

what goes around, comes around

As Jewish Chaplain's assistant in Korea(Seoul) from 1968-1970..I quite agree with Richie's experiences. Korean's are swell people and always interested in YUTAEN(Jewish ) folks. There is an orthodox commuity there associated with the Jewish Chaplaincy and Israeli Embassy in Seoul as well.....to expand options purhaps Richie was not made aware of.

(3)
martion resnick,
July 3, 2011 5:42 PM

I would have explained that this is how my grandparents lived over a hundred years ago in an area called the Pale of Russia. Today, I'm just a regular city slicker who lives in a regular American City. I 'm a conservative Jew, but I don't see why I should be embarrassed. because they appeared orthodox, which is what he seemed to have been implying.

(2)
Dina,
July 3, 2011 5:12 PM

Awesome!

I love when people realize we have what to be proud of!

(1)
ruth housman,
July 3, 2011 4:30 PM

Seoul Brothers

I found this quite fascinating, as have the reports coming out about Seoul and how people are drawn to Judaism and respect the traditions. The name SEOUL is of course pronounced SOUL in English and I notice such connects.
What I have read of Korea, however, does not seem to fit in other ways. I read that the society is very regimented, repressive, autocratic, and in many ways against personal freedoms. Wasn't there a really over the top caning that hit the news sometime ago about what we would call something not that major an infraction or breaking of rules, and truly a brutal kind of humiliation?
So I am puzzled about all of this. Are there others sharing this puzzlement?

Surak,
July 4, 2011 7:36 PM

South Korea is not Singapore

I have not heard of any incidents of caning in Korea. Is Ruth thinking of Singapore? They are a couple of thousand miles apart.
No, Korea is not autocratic. Again, Ruth is apparently thinking of Singapore - if not North Korea. South Korea scores quite highly on the Freedom House survey of civil liberties and political rights.
The correct pronunciation of Seoul is Saw-ool - almost identical to our King Shaul except with a siyn or sameikh replacing the shiyn.

I've been striving to get more into spirituality. But it seems that every time I make some progress, I find myself slipping right back to where I started. I'm getting discouraged and feel like a failure. Can you help?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Spiritual slumps are a natural part of spiritual growth. There is a cycle that people go through when at times they feel closer to God and at times more distant. In the words of the Kabbalists, it is "two steps forward and one step back." So although you feel you are slipping, know that this is a natural process. The main thing is to look at your overall progress (over months or years) and be able to see how far you've come!

This is actually God's ingenious way of motivating us further. The sages compare this to teaching a baby how to walk. When the parent is holding on, the baby shrieks with delight and is under the illusion that he knows how to walk. Yet suddenly, when the parent lets go, the child panics, wobbles and may even fall.

At such times when we feel spiritually "down," that is often because God is letting go, giving us the great gift of independence. In some ways, these are the times when we can actually grow the most. For if we can move ourselves just a little bit forward, we truly acquire a level of sanctity that is ours forever.

Here is a practical tool to help pull you out of the doldrums. The Sefer HaChinuch speaks about a great principle in spiritual growth: "The external awakens the internal." This means that although we may not experience immediate feelings of closeness to God, eventually, by continuing to conduct ourselves in such a manner, this physical behavior will have an impact on our spiritual selves and will help us succeed. (A similar idea is discussed by psychologists who say: "Smile and you will feel happy.")

That is the power of Torah commandments. Even if we may not feel like giving charity or praying at this particular moment, by having a "mitzvah" obligation to do so, we are in a framework to become inspired. At that point we can infuse that act of charity or prayer with all the meaning and lift it can provide. But if we'd wait until being inspired, we might be waiting a very long time.

May the Almighty bless you with the clarity to see your progress, and may you do so with joy.

In 1940, a boatload 1,600 Jewish immigrants fleeing Hitler's ovens was denied entry into the port of Haifa; the British deported them to the island of Mauritius. At the time, the British had acceded to Arab demands and restricted Jewish immigration into Palestine. The urgent plight of European Jewry generated an "illegal" immigration movement, but the British were vigilant in denying entry. Some ships, such as the Struma, sunk and their hundreds of passengers killed.

If you seize too much, you are left with nothing. If you take less, you may retain it (Rosh Hashanah 4b).

Sometimes our appetites are insatiable; more accurately, we act as though they were insatiable. The Midrash states that a person may never be satisfied. "If he has one hundred, he wants two hundred. If he gets two hundred, he wants four hundred" (Koheles Rabbah 1:34). How often have we seen people whose insatiable desire for material wealth resulted in their losing everything, much like the gambler whose constant urge to win results in total loss.

People's bodies are finite, and their actual needs are limited. The endless pursuit for more wealth than they can use is nothing more than an elusive belief that they can live forever (Psalms 49:10).

The one part of us which is indeed infinite is our neshamah (soul), which, being of Divine origin, can crave and achieve infinity and eternity, and such craving is characteristic of spiritual growth.

How strange that we tend to give the body much more than it can possibly handle, and the neshamah so much less than it needs!