They played for the sake of play alone, and their only concern was the ultimate evolution of their game.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

She holds the snake in her mouth.

Conflict. Tension. Testing.

Crisis is unbalanced power in extreme. It exists when opposing factors seek their own direction and the structures containing them will not hold the energies being released. But, of course, we know that for illusion brought on by the attempt to hold.

So we are left with an individual who feels split between feelings and beliefs, between differing attitudes and world views. Dangers and demand enact such a tremendous test, my dears and how do you continue when have already failed one? ::waving hand dismissively:: I *know* the answer of course: all crisis is a breakdown of control, and it's important to meet the necessity by yielding control, not consciousness -- breakdowns are breakthroughs if we change, and if we choose.

::resting head on desk::

Ah, my dears, who knew I needed so much practice not blaming others in conflict situations. Conflict should be used to bring out personal and objective issues and to make choices which resolve them; that's what I'm always reminding all of *you*, at any rate. But, I need help right now, remembering what it is I've forgotten, because the only choice I keep returning to is pain and that is resolving nothing.

Wow, Beloved, someone has sure jacked your shit up. What a cruel time for it. I pity you the timing aspect, but otherwise I'll just tell you what you already know: see the purpose behind even your worst suffering.

And, since that probably offers little consolation atm, I will add this: know that I believe karmic retribution will attach itself to whoever misplayed your trust. You are too bright a light of kindness for that to be otherwise.

Pfft. I've jacked my *own* shit up. That part is not in question, to me. We need not have a whole "inherent hurt" and cause and effect conversation, do we?

My problem is, I seem unable to resolve the hurt. I seem unable to express it and let it go, or at least to let it go for long.

But, I've taken my own advice and found the moment to pay attention to the moment and bring the personal and objective issues to the fore. I've made, and enacted, a choice which I believe will lead to their resolution. And so I can breathe it out for now, though I know admitting I don't have control is not the same as yielding it.

I'm sorry for whatever you are going through but I wanted to say thanks for writing about it. Always the things you say resonate for me and I find them very overall calming. I don't really comment so I wanted to comment this.

"I am the seasoned traveler
Of the Labyrinth.
The genius of alacrity,
Wizard of the impossible.
My brilliance is yet unmatched
In its originality.
My heart's filled with potent magic
That could cast a hundred spells.
I am put together
For mine own pleasure.

I am the Monkey."

Seems pretty apt.

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"My friend, every sorceress is a pragmatist at heart; nobody sees essence who can't face limitation. If I wanted only to hold you

I could hold you prisoner." -- Circe's Power, Louise Gluck

"My story is not a pleasant one; it is neither sweet nor harmonious, as invented stories are; it has the taste of nonsense and chaos, of madness and dreams -- like the lives of all men who stop deceiving themselves." -- Demian, Hermann Hesse

"The Muses are vindictive deities: they avenge themselves without mercy on those who weary of their charms." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

THE RULES: As a general rule, and most of you already know this, I prefer annonymous comments on this blog. Here is where I like to talk more "idea to idea" than person to person. I've got another journal wherein I get all personally chatty, but here I like the idea of ideas being separate from the contructs/biases/"personalities" behind them. Because those things color us all, don't they? Anyway, it's not a hard and fast rule, so feel free to comment however you like. Caro can never help giving herself away and, of course, Aspyre is always welcome to comment with identity because when Ladarna and Aspyre talk, it has always been idea to idea anyway. :)