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A soprano in Massenet's Don Quixote complained that she had missed her entry in the aria, "because Mr. Challiapin always dies too soon." "Madam, you must be profoundly in error," said Sir Thomas, "No operatic star has yet died half soon enough for me."

Beecham was once visited in his dressing room after a concert by an attractive young lady admirer. "Sir Thomas" she asked, "I've been a fan of yours for years. I wonder  would you be so kind as to consider being the godfather of my child".

"Madam" he replied, "I'd be delighted. But... why bring God into it?"

He could also be rather cutting to the gentle sex, as the put-down to the female cellist demonstrates, as quoted above. On another occasion Sir Thomas was travelling by train, seated in a non-smoking compartment (remember them?). A female fellow passenger lit a cigarette, earning a rebuke from Sir Thomas, who told her that if she did not put it out immediately he would be sick. This annoyed the woman, who said 'I'll have you know I'm one of the Directors' wives.' 'Madam, if you were his only wife, I would still be sick. Now please put it out.'