WHATEVER BIG ASS - UPDATE

In November, Jennifer Love Hewitt took some famous pictures in Hawaii (these pictures) showing that she had gained like 1800 pounds. It was amazing. And in her defense, she said she was a size 2 and there’s nothing wrong with her body. And to prove she meant what she said, she then immediately went on an insane diet. Wait, what? Us magazines cover story says...

Now, the Ghost Whisperer star has the last laugh.In the new issue of Us Weekly, on newsstands now, the 32-year-old shows off the new body she got after just 10 weeks and her trainer reveals to Us exclusively how she lost 18 pounds."I am in a pretty good workout regimen that I like, so it inspired me to keep it up," Hewitt tells Us. "The energy level and the way I feel now is great."

Whatever. You’re not fooling me big ass. The picture they have of her on the cover proves nothing. I want her to recreate her Hawaii trip shot for shot, and I want her to put things next to her ass so I have a sense of perspective, like a Coke can and a football. I know this sounds extreme, but don't you kid yourself, Jennifer Love Hewitt would eat you and everyone you care about if given the chance. The only language they understand is aggression.

UPDATE - these pictures, Splash exclusives by the way, were taken July 30th, and she looks just as fat as ever. So she and her MySpace angle magazine cover need to try again.