As part of the prep for her cataract operation my mother and I had to watch a movie about the procedure. In it the narrator stated that the patient would be able to drive a week after the surgery. When we went in to see the surgeon two weeks after the operation, I told him my mother was disappointed with the results. He asked why and I told him the movie said she would be able to drive by now. He said that was correct and he was concerned she couldn't until I told him she was really looking forward to it as she had never driven before in her life. He wasn't amused.

Creoena:ltdanman44: why would anyone want to live that old? You forgot things and you start to stink. I would rather check out in my 60s. You still look good, people remember you for having a good time...

THIS.

/Also, this world sucks

NAW, mang. Being 80-plus is the tits, as long as you're reasonably healthy. You can get away with ANYTHING. I'm planning to carry an unpermitted pistol in my pocket, drink a quart of liquor a day, and sexually harass every woman under 30 that I see. People will just roll their eyes and say, "Oh, you!"