Family disturbance - 15500 BLK Lin Ave SE (It is not good when families are disturbed. This is how ax murderers are created. So try to keep your family disturbances to a minimum. Thank you for your attention to this matter.)

Assist to Sultan, theft of vehicle with purse/presents, vehicle stopped at SR 2 / SR 522, suspect in custody vehicle returned (Aha! Got that no good low down thieving scoundrel and he went to the hoosegow where he belongs. Don't steal stuff kids. It is not nice and you won't get into heaven pulling that kinda crap.)

Amazon package stealers, more drunks, mail thieves, guy drops his drawers in public

Amazon package taken off front porch, doorbell camera missing as well - 500 Blk S Blakeley St; (Well that's a fine howdy-do. The perp even steals the camera the homeowner put up to prevent scumbags like him (her?) from stealing packages off the porch. Man, that is low even for a perp.)

From Wednesday 12/20Report of package and mail taken - 17600 Blk 160th St;Theft of wallet, unauthorized purchases made off of cards in wallet - 19700 Blk SR 2;Male provided with social services from Community Outreach Team - 19500 Blk SR 2;

Assist to DOC, subject in possession of heroin and meth - 16600 Blk 177th Ave; (Another doper...they're everywhere. By God if President Trump has his way they'll either get the electric chair (ol' Sparky) or be deported to some hell-hole third world country. Thank goodness we have a decent, God fearing, mentally stable Christian law n' order Prez like Captain Hairspray [now with a REALLY BIG flabby belly] on the job)

Male booked on criminal trespass 1st degree charge - 19600 Blk SR 2.

Remember kids, crime does not pay. If you choose the life of a criminal then sooner or later you’ll end up in the big house eating bad food and avoiding group showers. Then you’ll be sorry you didn’t stay in school and follow that straight and righteous path.