Monthly Archives: September 2017

North Korea’s leader, Kim Jong Un has halted his nuclear arms project to build a pasty space rocket to fire into space.

Kim is some boy mind

It is believed the idea came after a school in Hayle, Cornwall launched the world’s first pasty into orbit yesterday. The pasty, supplied by a Cornish bakery, Rowe’s was attached to a weather balloon and sent into space, it reached over 35,000 meters. It eventually popped and made a safe journey back into Cornwall.

The supreme leader believes he can better the students, by making an actual rocket from pasty, rather than attaching it to a weather balloon. He also believes that using a Philp’s pasty and not a Rowe’s will be the key to his success, he said “They sent a Rowe’s into space, Rowe’s are alright but, I like a Philp’s more! You can’t beat going down Hayle for a nice Philp’s pasty, they’re bleddy ‘ansome! We’ll be the first country in the world to build a Philp’s pasty rocket and send it into space!”

President of the United States, Donald Trump is not concerned about the North Korean Rocket, he said “Our intelligence tells us that North Korea has been unsuccessful so far. Every time they bake off a pasty and take it out the oven, Kim bleddy eats it!”

A supermarket is offering free pasties to children while their parents shop in all of its stores across Cornwall.

Kernow Shopper is setting up a bakery stand at the front of each shop, serving large steak pasties free to children and available to adults for £5 each.

Barry Bunt, Kernow Shopper chief executive, said: “The original plan was to give out free fruit, but we’re a local supermarket, for local people and fruit comes from all over the world. Every child in Cornwall deserves to eat a large steak pasty whenever they want.”

The oggys will be made at the stores head office in Redruth, by staff dinner lady Margaret, who has a GCSE in home economics. They will then be distributed to the four stores across the Duchy.

Margaret will be making the pasties…

Derek Davis, head of the health service for Cornwall, isn’t happy with the supermarket, he said: “I don’t think it’s right children should be given free pasties and adults have to pay! Everyone should have access to free pasties!”

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