Happenings in my retirement years with my family, daily life, and a little fishing... including an occasional thought about the USA and with a little humor along the way... I'm glad you came for a visit!

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy HalloweenI hope you have a happy and safe Halloween. Watch out for the ghosts, goblins, and vampires. They’ll be out tonight.

Drive slowly and safely!

Kara and ZacharyHere’s pictures of Kara and Zachary in the costumes they will we wearing tonight.

Kara does Halloween as a hot air balloonist.

Zachary does Star Wars… Is he Luke Skywalker?

Waiting for Trick or Treat?Play Tic-Tac-Toe by clicking on the diagram below. It’s easy to play and win if you know the trick.

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:You may not like me if you played Tic-Tac-Toe? I wonder why Halloween is always on the 31st day of October rather than the 13th day.

~~~

Quote of the Day

Man is inclined to exaggerate almost everything - except his own mistakes. ~Author Unknown

~~~Joke of the Day

The teacher: "Let me see if I've got this right. You want me to go into that room with all those kids and fill their every waking moment with a love for learning. And I'm supposed to instill a sense of pride in their ethnicity, modify their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse and even censor their T-shirt messages and dress habits.

You want me to wage a war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, check their backpacks for weapons of mass destruction, and raise their self esteem. You want me to teach them patriotism, good citizenship, sportsmanship, and fair play, how and where to register to vote, how to balance a checkbook, and how to apply for a job. I am to check their heads for lice, maintain a safe environment, recognize signs of antisocial behavior, offer advice, write letters of recommendation for student employment and scholarships, encourage respect for the cultural diversity of others, and, oh yeah, always make sure that I give the girls in my class 50 percent of my attention. My contract requires me to work on my own time after school and evenings grading papers.

Also, I must spend my summer vacation at my own expense, working toward advance certification and a Master's degree. And on my own time you want me to attend committee and faculty meetings, PTA meetings, and participate in staff development training. I am to be a paragon of virtue, larger than life, such that my very presence will awe my students into being obedient and respectful of authority. And I am to pledge allegiance to family values and this current administration. You want me to incorporate technology into the learning experience, monitor web sites, and relate personally with each student. That includes deciding who might be potentially dangerous and/or liable to commit a crime in school. I am to make sure all students pass the state mandatory exams, even those who don't come to school regularly or complete any of their assignments.

Plus, I am to make sure that all of the students with handicaps get an equal education regardless of the extent of their mental or physical handicap. And I am to communicate regularly with the parents by letter, telephone, newsletter, and report card. All of this I am to do with just a piece of chalk, a computer, a few books, a bulletin board, and a big smile AND on a starting salary that qualifies my family for food stamps!

You want me to do all of this… and you expect me NOT TO PRAY?"

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Friday, October 30, 2009

Depending on the Weather I may be fishing with Monk today on one of the lakes in in central North Carolina. I hope to learn about some new techniques and/or lures to help with the crappie fishing in Tennessee. Monk’s one of the best fishermen ever. He has the “knack”.

The KnackJust what does it mean to have the knack for something. Well, the dictionary says knack is (1) a clever trick or skill (2) a clever way of doing something or (3) a special capacity that is hard to analyze or teach. One thing for sure, if you have the knack for something you do have a “gift”.

Watch Rao, He Has a KnackRao has the knack for making entertaining hand shadows. Watch this short video.

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:Wait until tonight, then look back and see how wonderful this day was.

~~~

Quote of the Day

Many an opportunity is lost because a man is out looking for four-leaf clovers. ~Author Unknown

They say the 4 leaves of the clover represent Faith, Hope, Love, and Luck.

~~~Joke of the Day

A photographer for a national news magazine was assigned to get photos of a big forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane. "It will be waiting for you at the airport!" he was assured by his editor.

As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, "Let's go! Let's go!"

The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air. "Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make three or four low level passes."

"Why?" asked the pilot.

"Because I'm going to take pictures! I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!" said the photographer with great exasperation and impatience.

After a long pause the pilot said, "You mean you're not my instructor?"

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Thursday, October 29, 2009

A Short HopWe’re taking a short trip today to visit our good friends Monk and Lucy who now live in North Carolina. Monk manages his own business, MonksCrappie.com. He sells everything you need to be successful as a crappie fisherman. I bought most of my rod holders, all my crappie rods and reels, and many of my fishing lures from Monk. If you’re into crappie fishing, you should visit Monks web site. I placed an order with Monk the other day, and another reason for this trip is to pick up my order.

It may work out for us to fish together on Friday. It would be my first time to fish out of his new boat and learn about Monk’s latest techniques and advice. When you want to learn about fishing, you go to the expert. And Monk is the best!

Rock SlideMost likely you have heard about the rock slide on Interstate 40 just across the Tennessee line in North Carolina. The road is closed and people are being routed through our area of Tennessee. We live very close to the I81 and I26 interchange. The following picture from the NC Department of Transportation shows the extent of the slide.

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:You can’t think if you going so fast. You can’t slow down with so much to do. Save a little time for you to help your mood. It’s good for the soul to be quiet and think. Read a few verses and meditate. It will do you good.

~~~

Quote of the Day

A child educated only at school is an uneducated child. ~George Santayana

~~~Joke of the Day

Morris had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three envelopes number 1, 2 and 3.

"Open these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can solve," the departing CEO said. Things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales took a downturn and Morris was really catching a lot of heat. About at his wit's end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, "Blame your predecessor."

Morris called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the press -- and Wall Street -- responded positively, sales began to pick up and the problem was soon behind him.

About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO quickly opened the second envelope.

The message read, "Reorganize." This he did, and the company quickly rebounded.

After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company once again fell on difficult times. Morris went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope. The message said, "Prepare three envelopes."

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Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Without the MessClick on the diagram below and carve a pumpkin. It’s fun and you don’t have to cut a hole in the top and reach down into the pumpkin and pull out all those seeds and pulp.

Here’s a video of some serious pumpkin carvings. It’s an art form to some. Enjoy.

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:I enjoy fall of the year. The brisk air, the colors of fall… it’s like a second spring. But old man winter is just around the corner. Get ready for icy comments like, “Brrr.”

~~~

Quote of the Day

Life is the sum of all your choices. ~Albert Camus

~~~Joke of the Day

A bar owner in the Old West has just hired a timid new bartender. The owner of the establishment is giving his new hire some instructions on running the place. He tells the timid man, "If you ever hear that Big John is coming to town, drop everything and run for the hills!! He's the meanest, biggest, nastiest outlaw who ever lived!!"

A few weeks pass uneventfully. But one afternoon, a local cowhand comes running through town yelling, "Big John is coming to town!! Run for your lives!!!"

When the bartender exits the saloon to start running, he's knocked to the ground by several townspeople scurrying out of town. As he's picking himself up, he sees a large man approaching the saloon, probably about 7 feet tall, muscular, grunting and growling as he walks. He stomps up to the door, orders the poor barkeep inside, and demands, "I want a beer NOW!!" He pounds his heavy fist on the bar, splitting it in half.

The bartender nervously hands the big man a beer, hands shaking. He takes the beer, rips the top of the bottle off with his teeth, and downs the beer in one gulp.

As the poor timid bartender cowers behind the bar, the big man gets up to leave.

"Do you want another beer?" the bartender calls out.

"Dang it, I don't have time!!" the big man yells. "I gotta get out of town!!! Didn't ya hear Big John is a-comin??"

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Monday, October 26, 2009

The Fun TheoryI found the following video fascinating. People always wanted to take the escalator… so how do you make them take the stairs. How? Well, make it fun! Watch and enjoy.

Perhaps the “fun theory” could be applied to other things.

Heading Home Today We’re heading back home to Tennessee today. We came to Bowling Green yesterday evening. Today we will see Beverly’s two bothers and their families, then we’ll be heading back to East Tennessee.

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:

We have 5 basic natural senses: seeing, hearing, tasting, feeling, smelling. Each can be used to warn us of danger, and each can be used for our enjoyment. Don’t let your senses become dulled.

Enjoy life to the fullest.

It’s God’s gift.

~~~

Quote of the Day

A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen lantern. ~Edgar A. Shoaff

~~~Joke of the Day

Times were hard in Russia after the cold war, but there was determined young man who wanted to buy a new car.

He saved for many years until he had just the right amount. Immediately, he went to the car dealer and said, 'I want to buy a new car!'

'That's good,' replied the car dealer. We will get a car for you soon.

Come back here in eight years and three months ... we'll have your car.'

The man replied, 'Will that be morning or afternoon?'

The car dealer was surprised. 'Does it really matter?' he asked.

'Yes,' the man said, 'it really matters. The plumber promised me that he would come that day too.'

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Friday, October 23, 2009

Off to Louisville, KentuckyToday we’re heading out of town again. This time to family reunion on Beverly’s side of the family. The reunion is for the Oller Family… Beverly’s Grandparents on her Mother’s side of the family.

Robert & Nellie Oller on their wedding day

Robert & Nellie Oller later in life

While Robert and Nellie have passed on there’s a slew of relatives planning to get together tomorrow and talk over old times and new happenings.

The drive today should provide a good opportunity to see some of the beauty of the fall colors. We’ll take the scenic route. Maybe I can get some pictures.

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:

Smile, make someone wonder what you’ve been up to.

~~~

Quote of the Day

You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them. ~Michael Jordan

~~~Joke of the Day

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her new class that in Spanish, unlike in the English language, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.' .. 'Pencil', however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'? Instead of giving the answer, the teacher set up a challenge and split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because: 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic; 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else; 3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your money on accessories for it.

Well! The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because: 1. In order to do anything with them, you have to plug them in and switch them on; 2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves; 3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that had you waited a little longer, you could have got a better model.

It turns out that the women won.

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Thursday, October 22, 2009

Obey the Traffic SignsI saw this in our local newspaper in an advertisement…

There may be HEAVY TRAFFIC on your journey through the day. So proceed with extra CAUTIONin all you do and say.STOP any hurtful rumors that others may pass along, trying not to YIELD when you’re tempted to do wrong. KEEP RIGHT on doing good, avoiding the DANGER AHEAD, Steering clear of every DETOUR that you could take instead. Jesus is the Truth and Life,the ONE WAY to salvation… The RIGHT TURN on the only road to a heavenly destination.

~ Author Unknown

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:

Last year people complained about the drought. This year they are complaining about the rain. I believe people just like to complain.

Let me see if I can go through this day without complaining.

~~~

Quote of the Day

It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not. ~Author Unknown

~~~Joke of the Day

Joe arrived for his job interview early to the train switching yard where trains are routed and set on different tracks.

Tom, the Train Switching Manager starts the interview and asks: What would you do if two trains are on the same track coming towards each other?

Joe answers: I’ll go over and pull the switching lever and get one train on another track so they can pass safely.

Ok, Tom says, What would you do if the switch handle is broken off?

Joe: Well I would get the piece of steel over there by the shed and jamb it in the switch and use that as the lever.

Ok good! Tom. What would you do if the switch lever is broken?

Well, I would pick up the phone and call the main office and get them to switch it from there!

Ok, very good!

Tom: What would you do if no one answers the phone?

Well, then I would call my cousin Vinny and tell him to get down here right away.

Tom: What good would that be?

Well, he’s never seen two trains collide.

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Wednesday, October 21, 2009

A Brain “Waker-Upper”These are the things we're supposed to do to remove the cholesterol around our brain and try to slow up Alzheimer's Disease. It took me 3 times before I could get 100%! It takes an average of 5 tries to get to 100%... Follow the directions! It's harder than it seems, as it should be!

This is pretty neat! See how you do with the colors! Have fun! Click anywhere on the diagram below:

Fishing YesterdayWe had a beautiful day on the lake and we spent the day fishing, but there was not much catching. We only caught 4 fish, and none were crappie! We’re hoping for better days.

It was good to get out on the water again. You know a bad day of fishing is better than a good day of work.

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:This is the first day of the rest of your life. See if you can make at least 3 people smile today.

~~~

Quote of the Day

Man spends his life in reasoning on the past, in complaining of the present, in fearing future. ~Antoine Rivarol

~~~Joke of the Day

Fred got home from his Sunday round of golf later than normal and very tired.

"Bad day at the course?" his wife asked.

"Everything was going fine," he said. "Then Harry had a heart attack and died on the 10th tee."

"Oh, that's awful!"

"You're not kidding. For the whole back nine it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry."

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Tuesday, October 20, 2009

I received the following recently, and thought I would share with you.

When your hut's on fireThe only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him. Every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements, and to store his few possessions. One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky. He felt the worst had happened, and everything was lost. He was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger. He cried out, 'God! How could you do this to me?'

Early the next day, he was awakened by the sound of a ship approaching the island! It had come to rescue him! 'How did you know I was here? ' asked the weary man of his rescuers.

'We saw your smoke signal,' they replied.

The Moral of This Story:It's easy to get discouraged when things are going bad, but we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of our pain and suffering. Remember that the next time your little hut seems to be burning to the ground. It just may be a smoke signal that summons the Grace of God.

Gone Fishing! We’re heading down to Douglas Lake this morning to try some crappie fishing. Hope we catch a few, but if not, it will be nice to be back on the water. It’s been about a month since we have been fishing.

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:In one of our hymns it talks about the brevity of life is like the falling of a leaf. So when you see a leaf fall to the ground… THINK.

~~~

Quote of the Day

To get something done a committee should consist of no more than three people, two of whom are absent. ~Robert Copeland

~~~Joke of the Day

A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.

Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry.

So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest.

"Oh, I really don't care or mind," said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner."

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Monday, October 19, 2009

Excitement at WorkA few days ago we received an email from Bethany with the following picture attached. The grim reaper had showed up at the newspaper offices for a photo shoot. So they all had a little excitement at work that day.

The fall foliage is really getting pretty these days. Be sure to get outside and enjoy the colors of fall.

~~~

Quote of the Day

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated. ~Confucius

~~~Joke of the Day

A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head.

The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite strange. So, he decides to find out what's going on. The store manager approaches the blind man swinging the dog and says,

"Pardon me. May I help you with something."

The blind man says, "No thanks. I'm just looking around."

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Saturday, October 17, 2009

Heart ReportI got a good report from my heart doctor yesterday. The Echocardiogram was normal, my ECG showed no changes, and he said I could return to my normal routine including working out at the gym. He made one change in my medication and wants me to report back to him in four months.

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:Don’t complain because of your aches and pains. Be thankful for life and appreciate each God given day. No matter how bad things may be, it could be worse.

~~~

Quote of the Day

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none. ~William Shakespeare

~~~Joke of the Day

"Did you hear that someone broke into our local police station and stole the toilet?

Right now the cops have nothing to go on....."

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Friday, October 16, 2009

My Heart Today I have an appointment with my heart doctor. I will have a 12 lead ECG prior to the appointment. We will be discussing my recent heart cath, the echo cardiogram I had on Monday, and today’s ECG. I hope the news is good.

I would never go anywhere if it wasn’t for trips to the doctors, the pharmacies, grocery stores and, of course, Wal-Mart.

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:Everyone has a need to be appreciated and loved. Remember to say “Thank You” and let your family & friends know you love them.

~~~

Quote of the Day

Many of us believe that wrongs aren't wrong if it's done by nice people like ourselves. ~Author Unknown

~~~Joke of the Day

There was a painter by the name of Jock, who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often would thin his paint to make it go further. As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the Church decided to do a big restoration job that involved the painting of one of its biggest churches. Jock put in a bid, and because his price was so low, he got the job.

He went about erecting the trestles and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and, yes, thinning it down with the turpentine. Jock was up on the scaffolding, painting away with the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, and the sky opened.

The torrential rain washed the thinned paint off the church and knocked Jock off the scaffold and on to the lawn, among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless paint.

Jock was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got on his knees and cried: "Oh, God! Forgive me! What should I do?"

And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke...

Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!

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Thursday, October 15, 2009

Cool and Rainy Weather The weather may not matter to the fish, but when it is cool and raining, I don’t like to go fishing. So it looks like I will have to wait until next week…. maybe Tuesday.

One Bird in the BushLast month I was waiting in the car while Beverly was doing some shopping at Pigeon Forge, TN. Beside the car was a small tree. I notice a small bird in the tree, so I eased down the window and with some patience I got a few pictures. Here’s a couple…

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:

In our dealing with others it is most important to be kind. We need to be kind in our words, our facial expression and in our body language. If we could make another person feel appreciated today we have done an act of kindness.

~~~

Quote of the Day Humility does not mean thinking less of yourself than of other people, nor does it mean having a low opinion of your own gifts. It means freedom from thinking about yourself at all. ~William Temple

~~~Joke of the Day

One day, two rednecks named Bubba and Earl were driving down the road, drinking a couple of cold beers. The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead Earl, it's a po-leece roadblock! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!"

"Don't worry Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, then throw the bottles under the seat."

"What fer?" asked Bubba.

"Just let me do the talkin', okay?" said Earl. They finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat and slapped the labels on their foreheads. When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "Have you boys been drinking?"

"No sir," said Earl, "we're on the patch."

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Wednesday, October 14, 2009

But Monday, I LoafedYes, I got going yesterday. First, I washed the car and got all that Paris, Tennessee mud off of it. I think we brought back 5-10 pounds of Paris with us. Later I went to the Public Library to return some books and check out a few new ones. I enjoy have some different books to read. Then for supper, Beverly and I went to Five Guys for one of their delicious burgers and French fries. On the way home we stopped to see Kevin and family including Oreo.

We were amazed at how much Oreo had grown in the last four months. Check out these pictures:

Picture Taken June 13, 2009

Picture taken October 13, 2009

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:We could learn much today if we could visit an elderly person and let them tell us about their experiences in life. How enriching it would be just to listen and learn.

~~~

Quote of the Day

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck

~~~Joke of the Day

Billy went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got big troubles. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. Am I going crazy?"

"Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink, "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears."

"How much do you charge?"

"A hundred dollars per visit."

"I'll sleep on it," said Billy.

Six months later the doctor met Billy on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.

"For a hundred bucks a visit? No way! Instead, I went on one of those 'Dude Ranch' vacations, and an old cowboy cured me for the price of a bottle of whiskey."

"Is that so! How?"

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!

Ain't nobody under there now!!!"

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Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Circle the CatAn old high school friend sent me a link to a little puzzle you might like to try. It’s called Circle the Cat. The screen looks like the following:

Click on the box above and it will take you to link where you can try to circle the cat. You do this by clicking on the yellow/green dots to box the cat inside the dark green dots. It’s not impossible, but the cat is pretty smart. Give it a try.

If Granddaddy can do it, I know you can.

Be Careful today. That’s a black cat you are playing with, and Friday the 13th came on Tuesday this month. That’s today!

~~~

Tennessee Granddaddy Says:We as humans are pretty selfish. I wish I could go for one day and put my focus on others and not myself.

~~~

Quote of the Day

If I thought I was going to die tomorrow, I should nevertheless plant a tree today. ~Stephan Girard

~~~Joke of the Day

An unemployed man is desperate to support his family of a wife and three kids. He applies for a janitor's job at a large firm and easily passes an aptitude test. The human resources manager tells him, "You will be hired at minimum wage of $5.35 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address so that we can get you in the loop. Our system will automatically e-mail you all the forms and advise you when to start and where to report on your first day."

Taken aback, the man protests that he is poor and has neither a computer nor an e-mail address. To this the manager replies, "You must understand that to a company like ours, that means that you virtually do not exist. Without an e-mail address you can hardly expect to be employed by a high-tech firm. Good day."

Stunned, the man leaves. Not knowing where to turn and having $10 in his wallet, he walks past a farmers' market and sees a stand selling 25 lb. crates of beautiful red tomatoes. He buys a crate, carries it to a busy corner and displays the tomatoes. In less than 2 hours he sells all the tomatoes and makes 100% profit. Repeating the process several times more that day, he ends up with almost $100 and arrives home that night with several bags of groceries for his family.

During the night he decides to repeat the tomato business the next day. By the end of the week he is getting up early every day and working into the night. He multiplies his profits quickly.

Early in the second week he acquires a cart to transport several boxes of tomatoes at a time Before a month is up he sells the cart to buy a broken-down pickup truck.

At the end of a year he owns three old trucks. His two sons have left their neighborhood gangs to help him with the tomato business, his wife is buying the tomatoes, and his daughter is taking night courses at the community college so she can keep books for him.

By the end of the second year he has a dozen very nice used trucks and employs fifteen previously unemployed people, all selling tomatoes. He continues to work hard.

Time passes and at the end of the fifth year he owns a fleet of nice trucks and a warehouse that his wife supervises, plus two tomato farms that the boys manage. The tomato company's payroll has put hundreds of homeless and jobless people to work. His daughter reports that the business grossed over one million dollars. Planning for the future, he decides to buy some life insurance.

Consulting with an insurance adviser, he picks an insurance plan to fit his new circumstances. Then the adviser asks him for his e-mail address in order to send the final documents electronically.

When the man replies that he doesn't have time to mess with a computer and has no e-mail address, the insurance man is stunned, "What, you don't have e-mail? No computer? No Internet? Just think where you would be today if you'd had all of that five years ago!"

"Ha!" snorts the man. "If I'd had e-mail five years ago I would be sweeping floors at Microsoft and making $5.35 an hour."

Which brings us to the moral of the story: Since you got this story by computer, you're probably closer to being a janitor than a millionaire.

Sadly, I received it on my computer also. ~ Tennessee Granddaddy

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