"All politicians are vermin, vote for Vermin Supreme"

It was the night before the New Hampshire primary, and out on Manchester's main drag, a group of Ron Paulites were blaring their own rendition of "New York, New York." These neocon blues, are melting away...We'll make a brand new start of it...Vote Ron Paul....it's up to us to vote Ron Paul. Meanwhile, the Occupy protesters had decamped from their tents down the sidewalk, and the two groups were getting all tangled up in the street in front of Newt Gingrich's spartan headquarters.

The Paulites and the Occupiers have become an omnipresent presence in the New Hampshire primary, a sort of traveling sideshow routine at each of the campaign events. Romney can't go anywhere without confronting Occupiers—and views that challenge the party orthodoxy. It's made the whole thing a lot more interesting. At the center of this particular circus was Vermin Supreme, a bearded, Merlin-esque gadfly and perennial presidential candidate probably best known for glitter-bombing Randall Terry on C-Span at a lesser-known presidential candidate forum last month. He was wearing an animal print blazer, a dozen ties and a rubber boot on his head.

Newt's campaign bus thundered past—apparently, they had at the last minute decided to cancel a drop-in to his headquarters out of security concerns. Someone asked Supreme if he thought he was a threat to the candidate. "Well I don't feel that way but he's feeling a little bit chicken—bach! Bach bach bach baaach!" he screeched, folding and pumping his arms like chicken wings. "If Newt's a little chicken"—there he goes with the chicken dance again—"well I can't help that." A small truck flashing a Huntsman 2012 sign rolled down the street, illuminating darkened buildings.

It was fun watching media who weren't familiar with Vermin encounter him for the first time. "I'm a presidential candidate, I'm on the Democratic primary ballot, people will have a chance to vote for me during the voting process," he told an inquiring cameraman, his voice pitching up and down rapidly as he dragged out syllables at random like a drunk auctioneer. "As you know, I am Vermin Supreme, all politicians are vermin and that's why I'm the most qualified candidate at this tiiime! Yes I'm a friendly fascist, you should let me run your life, I know what is best for youuuuuu...all politicians are vermin, vote for Vermin Supreme."

He winked and mugged into a camera for a few moments. "Wait, that was pretty crappy, let me do that again," he said, breaking character.

"No, that's okay," said the camera man. "Do you have an issue with Gingrich, in particular, or the whole process?"

"In particular and the whole process, yessir, yessir, they're all scumbags and the system's broken and he's certainly symptomatic of that brokenness in our system today." Vermin reiterated his policy platform. "My solution is free ponies for everyone, my name is Vermin Supreme, I approve of this message, thank youuu."