The 9 Most Unsettling Things About Joaquin Phoenix's Mock-Documentary, I'm Still Here

Onscreen defecation. Back hair removal. Gay-shaming Newsweek reporter Ramin Setoodeh. Britney Spears's vagina. What do they all have in common? They're all featured in the insane Joaquin Phoenix documentary I'm Still Here, and if you can believe it, there are some things in it that are even weirder. Here are the 9 most unsettling things about the movie:

An obsession with full-frontal nudity

I'm Still Here has more flaccid penises in it than a retirement home production of The Full Monty. Phoenix is practically obsessed with getting the good-looking men in his entourage to show their dicks, and director Casey Affleck is not above, say, showing a naked man climbing out of a bathtub with no context whatsoever. Phoenix himself is the only person in the movie coy about going full frontal, but considering the wrecked physical state he's in, it's probably better that way. Still, there is a little something for audience members who aren't phallically inclined: a lingering picture, presented via YouTube, of Britney Spears's infamous no-panties car exit.

Phoenix family flashbacks

One of the very first things you'll see in I'm Still Here is old, grainy footage of Joaquin Phoenix and his siblings singing on a street corner for money, with River leading the brood on guitar. Also present? His sister Summer, who married Affleck in 2006.

Uncomfortable celebrity cameos

The only thing that keeps I'm Still Here from feeling like a mumblecore movie on coke is the constant wave of celebrity cameos, some of whom must have been in on the joke (like Ben Stiller, who allegedly tries to recruit Phoenix for the role in Greenberg that would eventually go to Rhys Ifans), and some of whom are merely lurched into by Phoenix, his arms stiffly outstretched like a maniacally hugging zombie. The celeb who comes off best is Diddy, who almost seems to be treating the film as a trial run for his self-parodying turn in Get Him to the Greek. Consistently, he zings both Phoenix and Affleck without even breaking a sweat (my favorite moment: when he dismisses Affleck's underseen gem The Assassination of Jesse James By the Coward Robert Ford as "kinda wack").

Back hair removal

Admit it: You have always wanted to see Joaquin Phoenix order members of his entourage to cut off unsightly strands of hair that dot his shoulders. Well, you're in luck!

But there is a catch - I would have to be on my own with the boys. Yes! I would be totally on my own, 24/7. They have to understand motives behind everything. They have to understand why you said what you have said.