Friday, August 26, 2011

Hurricane Irene is making its way north along the east coast. It can hit Maine anytime between Sunday and Monday from what I understand. At first we weren't worried-- and while we still aren't really, we are preparing. The forecast says that our area will see high, damaging winds, power outages, 10+ inches of rain, flash floods and more. We are pretty far inland so for us this is big. We don't get hurricanes in Maine!

So, while we have most of the supplies we need, we do need to get some stuff done around here today before Eric goes to work. We need to put all the outdoor stuff in the garage, do all the laundry and dishes, and make sure we have an emergency bag in case we need to leave the house for some reason.

Anyway, I've been horrible at this blogging! I am going to try to do the series on my pregnancy and birth of Ephraim this weekend, if the power doesn't go out!

Thursday, August 18, 2011

**Warning: information regarding my cycles and "intimate life" are included in this post. If this bothers you, please do not read any further!**

Alright, as I mentioned before, we had our ultrasound on Monday the 15th for dating purposes. We saw the baby looking like a little gummy bear! The doctor didn't say what the heart rate was, but said it looked good. According to the ultrasound the baby measured at 9 weeks and 1 day. According to my last period, baby should have been 10 weeks and 5 days. Well, I knew the baby wouldn't measure at 10w5d, as I usually ovulate around day 21 of my cycle, and not day 14 like the "typical" woman. (Though, really, what is "typical"? I don't even know that many women whose cycles are exactly 28 days long. But anyway....)

Because I ovulate 7 days later than the typical woman, my due date would still be the same as the due date for LMP (last menstrual period), as my OB's don't change your due date unless the baby measures more than 7 days different. This held true for Ephraim (don't know about Bretton). But apparently not so for this one. Which really concerns me and has me quite baffled.

If you can follow, here's why: As I stated I ovulate around day 21. I know this for a fact as I chart using BBT (basal body temperature) and OPK's (ovulation predictor kits). By charting and OPK's I ovulated day 21, right where I usually do. I also know that we only had intercourse on the 18th. Intercourse 3 days before ovulation can result in pregnancy. Intercourse 7-8 days before ovulation does not result in pregnancy (according to the "rule" that sperm only survive up to 6 days). The baby's measurements put ovulation on the 25th. Because this is 11 days later than the "typical" ovulation, the due date was moved 11 days backward. Well, whatever, the baby is going to come when it comes no matter what the due date is. But, thinking about all of this makes me wonder if the baby is growing too slowly. Or, despite the doctor doing the measurements twice and getting the same answer, maybe it was wrong. Here's the biggest kicker to me: the doctor said that ultrasounds can be off by up to a week. If that is the case, and I know with 99.99% certainty when I ovulated, why not give me a due date between the two dates? I think a due date of March 13th sounds more accurate. As it is they have me going over due by 11 days (because again, I know I'm right!) and then, if i go overdue by their due date, I won't even be considered for inducement until I'm nearly 3 weeks overdue! Gah! Good thing my others came right around their due date-- hoping that means the same with this one. Especially since I am pretty set against inducement.

Oh, and we had an ultrasound done nearly 3 weeks prior to this last one to check for viability. The doctor did not measure, but guessed baby was around 7 to 7.5 weeks. So that should have put baby at 10 to 10.5 weeks on Monday.

Yeah-- totally confusing! Anyway, in the long run I don't care as long as the baby continues to develop and is healthy. I'm truly just happy to know that the baby is doing well!!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Summer vacation is winding down and the school year will be here before we know it-- no, more like before I want it. As much as I love my job, I love being home more. If I could afford to stay home with my children, I would jump at the chance. But for now, I need to work to support my family, and really that is just as important and special as staying home to raise the children. Besides, Eric is doing a good job with it, so for now I try to be satisfied.

For the last few days, we have been pretty busy. Nothing special really, just days together as a family. With Eric and I working a total of 4 part time jobs this summer, we didn't have much time to do a lot of family things. My two jobs are done, and Eric is down to his normal one, so he took a few days off work and we did some random things.

On Monday, we planned to go to the Maine Discovery Museum in Bangor, but decided it was a long drive and we wouldn't have been able to even head out for the trip until after 1pm, as I had an OB appointment that morning. So, instead we decided to go to Augusta and went to Red Robin for lunch. We love Red Robin! We ended up waiting for about 15 minutes before being seated. Once seated, the one thing I wanted-- and was so craving-- was not available! I was pretty irritated that they didn't bother to inform people of these things before making them wait. I ended up having a wrap, which normally is very good, but was just not what I was wanting and didn't quite taste right (probably due to the fact that nothing seems to taste right with this pregnancy). I wished shortly after receiving my wrap that I had gotten a burger instead.

We then debated on whether we wanted to go to the Augusta Children's Museum, or go home. We did a quick trip to Walmart first, as Bretton wanted to check a few things out, then headed home. As much as I would have loved to go to the museum, I also wasn't sure if it would be worth it (though the one is Bangor definitely is!). Bretton is getting to the age where it doesn't entertain him (much) anymore, and I'm not sure how much stuff is there that would really be alright for Ephraim. I'm going to ask around so that we can make a better decision and then maybe go another time.

On Tuesday Bretton had his best friend, Michael, come over for the night. We went to the Skowhegan Fair, despite the fact that it was raining. I haven't been to the Skowhegan Fair for many years, and was disappointed to see that there really wasn't much there. A lot of the space that used to be filled was empty and even the exhibition halls appeared emptier than I remember. Even still, we enjoyed walking around, seeing the animals, watching the boys play some games, and eating dinner. Well, actually, dinner wasn't exactly enjoyed. There weren't a lot of choices and we wanted to be able to sit inside, so it really gave us only one choice. We went into this booth-- something like a Lion's Club Booth-- and ordered cheeseburgers. I made it very clear that they needed to be well done, and told them it was OK to cook them even longer than they think is necessary. Well, we got our burgers and they were pink. No, red. The guys didn't seem to mind but I did. I took it back and explained that I asked for well done and that it was very important that it be cooked completely through. So they made another one. When they brought it to me they asked me to open it and look. You know what I saw? Blood! It was literally bleeding-- even worse than the first one! They asked if that was OK, and to be honest, no it wasn't! But I was tired of waiting and the guys were all almost done with their burgers so I said it was "going to have to be since they didn't seem to know how to cook a burger". I ended up feeding some of the bun to Ephraim and throwing the burger out. Luckily they gave us the money back for the burger, because if they hadn't I was going to give them an ear full on the way out. (I know, I can be super mean-- but some people irk me. And a lot of things really irk me when I am pregnant!)

So, dinner a non-success yet done, we headed out to get desserts. Eric, Ephraim, Bretton and I had some fries (Michael wasn't feeling the greatest so he didn't eat much) and Bretton and I had dough-boys. Eric and Bretton also tried deep fried snickers bars. They loved them! I had a tiny bite of Bretton's and while it was good, I don't know if I could have eaten a whole one. Plus, dough-boys are my favorite fair food, so I couldn't get full eating something else!

Today we just lounged around the house. Eric took the boys to the river to swim for awhile and Michael is staying another night. We cleaned the fridge-- throwing out more stuff than I ever imagined, and washed it down. Now, I sit here typing this. And as it is near 10 pm and I have been typing this for what seems like an eternity, I will have to post about the ultrasound tomorrow.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Well, the last few days have been quite busy. I will write about them tomorrow, as I am too tired to do so now. But I wanted to just check in and say that we did have an ultrasound the other day that showed a healthy baby and changed our due date. I will discuss that tomorrow as well, though!

Here's something for you:
"Don't worry about being a kleptomaniac. You can always take something for it." ~Author Unknown

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Today has been a pretty laid back day. We went to the D.E.W. Animal Kingdom with Denise, then to Irvings for lunch. Eric totally surprised me and had a cheeseburger platter!! He never eats anything but breakfast when we go there-- even at dinnertime!

We came home and Eric got ready for work and left. Bretton, Ephraim, and I have just been chilling out. Ephraim finally fell asleep (in my arms) and Bretton and I are watching The Young Riders and enjoying brownie sundaes! Mmmm. :)

I'm hoping we can find some fun things to do next week. School starts in a few weeks, which means I go back to work. :(

Friday, August 12, 2011

During labor, I remember calling a few people, including my teen pregnancy teacher from HS. I remember being given Demerol through an IV and at one point they had to put it back in as I had pulled Ronica over to breathe with me, and she ended up on my hand, pulling-- no, ripping-- the IV out. I also remember a nurse coming in and asking me to sign papers saying I had been admitted. I signed them, but it wasn't my signature! I don't remember what I said exactly, but it was along the lines of "that's not me!", and everyone laughed.

Everyone said I was the most polite laboring woman ever! I said please and thank you to everything and was even afraid to ask for things as I didn't want to be a burden on anyone. (Totally opposite from my labor with Ephraim-- but more on that in a separate series about him.)

At the time, I didn't think I could be in any more pain, but looking back, the labor and birth of Bretton was easy-peasy! The worst parts for me were the incredible pain in my hips, as my hips spread, and the inability to go to the bathroom as the pain was too much for me to move. I ended up getting a catheter.

Labor didn't last too long, especially considering I was told that a first labor tended to be long. The first time I was checked was a few hours after I got there, due to an emergency else where in the wing. When the nurse told me I was already 8cm I was floored. Already? It didn't seem like long before I felt the urge to push, just past 1:00 am. I was told that I couldn't push yet-- that I wasn't completely ready. I think they just wanted to get the doctor in there, because I definitely felt ready! Within a half hour or so, I was pushing. Everyone encouraged me and told me it wouldn't be long. Boy, were they wrong! I ended up pushing for over 3 hours. Exhaustion was setting in. Both from lack of sleep and from pushing for so long. I finally "gave up". I just couldn't get him out, and I didn't have any energy left. So, the doctor decided to use the vacuum to assist me. After a few pushes and a good pull from the doctor, Bretton's head emerged with a very loud pop, and I let out a short, but loud scream. My first, and last. Within moments he was completely out and the doctor was taking care of him as the cord was wrapped around his neck, he was blue and not breathing. I wanted him placed on me, but he needed to be attended to. He soon was fine and offered to me, but at that point i was being stitched from the 3rd degree tear I experienced. I was afraid I would hurt him, as I was already near breaking Alicia's hand!

Soon enough, I was holding my first born; a son whom I decided to name Bretton Daniel. He was born at 5:00 am, weighing in at 9 pounds and was 22 inches long. He had a bunch of dark hair, the chubbiest little face, and a cry that sounded like the sweetest music on earth! I never thought I could fall in love with someone or something so quickly. Seven and a half hours from water breaking to birth-- the longest and shortest time frame of my life (until Ephraim).

The years following the pregnancy and birth of Bretton were filled with joy, sorrow, hardships, laughter, and so much more. Not a moment of it worth changing, as I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I have learned a tremendous amount about myself, my son, life, and most of all, love. Twelve years later and I am still learning! Bretton truly is my pride and joy-- my first born baby, who will always and forever be just that, "my baby". I may have made some "mistakes" with him, but I probably will with all my children. And you know what, that's OK with me. It is all a part of life. My life. The life I never thought I wanted, but can't imagine ever giving up or not having now that I have it!

I love you Bretton-- one day, when (if) you have your own children, you will understand how much. <3

I had some mild cramping last night, but often times that happens in pregnancy so I didn't worry too much about it. I worried more about the fact that I couldn't sleep. Now, I am worried about the severe back pain I am having.

It feels very much like the beginning stages of back labor. This can potentially be a bad sign. I haven't started to bleed or anything, thank goodness, but I am on the lookout for it to happen. I am praying this isn't the beginning of a miscarriage. But, it reminds me of how my last miscarriage started.

I can barely move-- it hurts so bad. I'm not sure if I should call the doctor or wait it out.

I'm going to try to be optimistic and hope for the best. Maybe I am just having some weird pains that will go away soon.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

The last few months of pregnancy seemed to go by slow, yet fast. I had so much to do and think about and not nearly the same amount of time as most people have! As time went on, my main focus was to make sure I graduated from HS.

February turned into March, then April, May, and before I knew it June. I graduated HS on June 13th, 1999. It was a super hot day and I was roasting. I will always remember and be thankful of a classmate who was sitting behind me. She had an ice pack and shared it with me. She put it on my neck a number of times. What a wonderful thing for her to do! All I could think about was getting into a cool building and for the braxton hicks to stop. Why in the world did graduation ceremonies need to be so long and drawn out. Don't they realize that most people aren't even listening, nor do they even care?!

The last 3 weeks before Bretton was born seemed to creep by slowly. During those weeks, some friends took me out to try and start labor. We went mudding, we went on bumpy back roads when driving, and a few other things that I can't quite recall right now. Nothing worked. Until June 30th. I was with Ronica (best friend from HS) and Rosie (Ronica's mom, like a mom to me) while they were house sitting for someone. Rosie had just gotten home from a long shift-- more than 24 hours-- and went to take a shower, warning me not to go into labor until she had a shower and some sleep. Alicia was also there (another friend from HS), spending the night with us.

Rosie gave me an exercise ball that she brought home from work and I started bouncing on it. I had heard that doing so would/could help with effacement and dilation. So, we figured it was worth a shot. Not even 10 minutes after being on the ball I felt like I had to pee. I remember jumping up and saying so out loud. Rosie was in the bathroom still, so I didn't know what to do! The urge was so sudden and I was afraid I was going to pee myself. Ronica grabbed me and pulled me into the kitchen-- the owners of the house had jokingly said not to get any after birth on their rugs!

Before I knew it, a big gush of hot liquid was running out of me. I made it into the bathroom and continued to lose this liquid while on the toilet. I thought I was peeing, yet how could it be so hot and how could i have so much of it?! It didn't take long to realize my water broke! This was at about 9:30 pm.

I got changed, grabbed my hospital bag, and called the hospital to let them know. Either Rosie or Ronica grabbed a towel for the front seat of Ronica's car, since I was soaked yet again. It seemed like an endless waterfall! I remember walking into the ED (as it was after hours, around 10 pm) like a penguin because I was so wet and felt so gross. I was sent right up to OB where they put me into one of their two labor rooms. I was given the smaller one as someone else had just given birth in the big one, but was told they could move me into it later so I could use the labor tub. I was never moved, which disappointed me.

My memory of the labor and birth is in bits and pieces. And to be honest, I think it is in bits and pieces for the people that weren't on drugs because sometimes no one really agrees on the little details. But in the end, it is what I remember that matters, and the fact that the next morning, I gave birth to a beautiful little boy.

Friday, August 5, 2011

I am so hungry-- starving even. For food, as I feel ill when I eat so I don't eat enough. For more joy in my life. Not that I don't have any, but more would be awesome! I love the good times, and really dislike the bad ones. For a better paying job. Not that my job doesn't pay a decent amount compared to others, but it is my opinion that it should pay more, for many reasons I don't want to get into now. I'd like, at least, to be a little above "making ends meet". For guidance in what to do next. I'm horrible in making decisions, and worry that without someone's guidance I will fail at making the decisions I need to make on my own. Just plain hungry for so much more.

Every day I try to think of ways that I can improve my life, my husband's life, and most importantly, the lives of my children. In the end you know what I come up with? Nothing. I mean, nothing more than I already have or do. I give my all to my family. I do my best to provide for them-- financially, emotionally, physically, and mentally. Sure there are times where things seem to be spiraling out of control, but who doesn't have moments like that? In the end, as long as my family is happy, healthy, and well cared for, what else matters?

My hunger for more will probably always be there. I hope it is, actually. It helps keep me sane and aiming for the best for my family.

Now to figure out the hunger for food-- I've got to nourish this growing baby! Maybe it is time to get creative and try things that I wouldn't normally. Hey, something has got to work, right!?