I had my suspicions — I guess we all did — but I never thought the Page Six gossips would be the one to bust Lydia Hearst for having her Page Six Magazine columns ghostwritten (!!) by a reporter. Although, after she quit in a huff on Monday and, in the process, tried to throw the publication that printed her monthly diatribes under the bus, the snipe seemed rather inevitable. Why all the fuss? Oh, Page Six just went ahead and printed a column that dissed the Hearst Corporation — her family’s company. But Lydia insists she didn’t say anything bad! Whoa, haha, yeah, err, big whoops, she actually really absolutely did. Poor socialites. Crows Page Six:

The publishing heiress/model
claims she wrote all her columns. She didn’t. She was inter viewed by a
reporter, who put her thoughts into cohesive paragraphs. She claims she
never criticized Hearst Corp. But she did. Exact words: “They’re having
events every night and shutting down magazines. I think it’s excessive
. . . People should focus more on work. It’s a lot more important than
parties at the moment.” After Hearst canceled its Christ mas party,
Page Six Magazine went back to Lydia for further comment, and this is
her e-mailed reply: “I do think they should cut back on events, but it
is a bit sever [sic] to cut back on the Christmas party, that’s like
the joke in the Scrooge films where the holiday parties and bonuses are
canceled.” A Page Six Magazine editor said, “As this statement seemed
overly harsh towards her family company, we decided to edit it out to
protect her.” With Hearst falsely accusing her editors of fabricating,
she no longer deserves such protection.

Whee! You can practically hear the cackling sewn into the subtext no?
Guess Lydia doesn’t envision herself a feminine Hemmingway after all. Thankfully, Ashley Olsen still fancies him
and can help keep his name relevant to the Today’s Youth, none of whom
ever read books anymore. Or can get a job in media. Because they’re too busy, with the blogs and the Twitters. Lucky for them,
looks like Page Six has a columnist slot open! Who will rise to the
occassion? It can easily be written in Facebook status update-style. That couldn’t be much worse than what Lydia (and her journalistic minion) churned out.