My question is, how do you work with the program when you are in depression and trying to get out of it and you’re not losing weight as fast as you want to lose the weight? I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong.

Jon:

Are you taking medication?

Lilly Anna:

No. God, no, no. I’m not.

Jon:

Okay. It’s going to take — do you know what the source of your depression is?

Lilly Anna:

My weight, I guess.

Jon:

Your weight.

Lilly Anna:

Is always been my image of myself.

Jon:

Tell me a little bit about yourself. How old are you?

Lilly Anna:

I just turned 33 a couple weeks ago.

Jon:

Okay. How much weight are you looking to lose?

Lilly Anna:

About 100.

Jon:

100 pounds?

Lilly Anna:

Well, maybe 80, 90.

Jon:

Okay. I’m just clarifying that it’s pounds because we have international listeners and some of them are thinking kilograms which would be more like 200.

Kelly:

How many kilos is that, Jon?

Lilly Anna:

Oh, pounds.

Jon:

100 kilos is 220 pounds. So you’re looking to lose 80 to 100 pounds which is maybe 40 kilos. How long have you had this weight on you, Lilly Anna?

Lilly Anna:

Well, I lose it and I gain it back but like -

Jon:

When did it start?

Lilly Anna:

- in fourth grade is when I started gaining weight.

Jon:

Fourth grade. And before that there was no issue, right?

Lilly Anna:

No. I was very skinny. I mean, I didn’t have any issues with food or anything like that.

Jon:

Okay. So my next question and people that have been listening for awhile are going to know my next question. What happened? What was your life like when you were in fourth grade? What happened?

Lilly Anna:

Well, I was living with my mom and she sent me to live with my grandma to another state because she said that she couldn’t take care of me anymore and all that, but I only lived with them for like one year and then I went back and then after that I just started gaining weight.

Jon:

Right, okay. So there was an abandonment issue a little bit, right?

Lilly Anna:

Yeah.

Jon:

Your mother couldn’t take care of — you’re in fourth grade. That’s what eight, nine years old maybe, 10 years old?

Lilly Anna:

Yes.

Jon:

You’re 10 years old and your mother says that she can’t take care of you and sends you to your grandmother. So that’s a serious abandonment issue. The next question I have for you is where, physically, do your parents live now?

Lilly Anna:

Well, right now they live in Los Angeles now; they’re separated. But I was living in Maui and I just moved back with my mom about a month ago or half a month now.

Jon:

So you’re living with your mom now?

Lilly Anna:

Yeah.

Jon:

Okay and how old are you?

Lilly Anna:

33.

Jon:

Okay. So you’re -

Kelly:

She was the same age a couple minutes ago, yeah.

Jon:

No. It doesn’t matter but…I’m sorry. I’m just processing a lot of information at the same time. So this lifetime weight issue is really a lifetime kind of abandonment issue that you’re working out and you’re still working it out even though you maybe haven’t thought about it and maybe you’re just living with your mother for a short time right now, but it really sounds like there’s a desire to connect with someone that’s kind of pushed you away. And that type of trauma is a stress that can cause chemistry in your body that will make your body want to react by holding on to weight. There’s a lot of ways to deal with this type of issue. First question I want to ask, though, is are you listening to the CD at night?

Lilly Anna:

Yes.

Jon:

How long have you been doing that?

Lilly Anna:

Let’s see. Since the end of June I think, but then when I moved I didn’t listen to it for two weeks.

Jon:

When you moved in with your mom?

Lilly Anna:

Yeah.

Jon:

Okay. That’s kind of interesting. Why did you stop listening to it when you moved in with your mom?

Lilly Anna:

Well, I was trying to get settled and everything.

Jon:

Okay. I’m looking at the subtext to that and I’m saying — what I’m hearing is that you listened to the CD for awhile and what that did was it prompted you to start to address some of your real issues, and your real issues are your connection with your mom, and it really goes much deeper than that. It’s just a connection with the source of love, itself, and feeling safe and secure. And so you started working on that and you stopped listening to the CD because you’re kind of doing lifetime — like you’re playing out your issues in the real life now by trying to connect with your mom. What’s it like living with your mom right now?

Lilly Anna:

I’m actually very surprised. We don’t fight which is a miracle. But we get along pretty well. It’s just with her food choices and everything and I’m kind of falling back into her food choices, so I was just — that’s why I was a little depressed. It was like what happened? I was eating very good and everything and then I’m here and I’m not eating very well anymore.

Jon:

Okay. Again, I’m going to look at the subtext of that one and say it’s really not so much her food choices, it’s just that she’s triggering something in you right now. She’s triggering inside you whatever issues happened. This primal pain that happened, which really is, I mean, to me — what’s interesting is I’ve dealt with someone in a very similar situation to yours that’s had a lifetime of anorexia, and she was sent away to boarding school year after year and she’d be like, “Please can I come home?” and her parents are like, “No, we can’t, you can’t come home,” and she went the other way, but the issue caused a trauma and your body reacts to the trauma one way or the other. Either by gaining weight or by losing weight; there’s no in between. So your body chose to react to this trauma by holding on to weight, which is similar to the way my body reacted through the traumas that I had at one point.

So when you say that you moved back with your mother and you started eating — making bad food choices and you’re saying, well it’s just my mom’s cooking, there’s more to it. And the fact that you stopped listening to the CD – this is what’s happened – the fact that you stopped listening to the CD and you’re making bad food choices, tells me that when you moved back with your mom it triggered something inside you. This primal pain is being triggered and you’re re-experiencing it at some level, and that’s causing you to start wanting to hold on to weight.

So subconsciously you’re not going to listen to the CD anymore, and you can say it’s because I’m too busy or this and we talked about this whole self sabotage issue last week. I wrote about it in my newsletter. And you could say well I’m sabotaging myself; you’re not. What’s happening is you’re FAT programs are being triggered by this primal issue that you’re trying to work out. So just be aware of that, and it’s not because you’re too busy to listen to the CD or you’re sabotaging yourself, it’s because your FAT programs have been activated.

So I would say whatever it takes, and it shouldn’t take that much, start listening to the CD again, that’s really, really crucial for you. Now as far as the food choices, you say it’s because your mother. That, I also say, is because you’re FAT programs have been triggered by living with your mom. You need to be conscious of that and continue, if you’re going to eat your mom’s cooking, continue to add the foods that will nourish your body, the foods that have Omega-3s, protein and live food. Continue to add those foods. I think you also — it would be great for you to see some sort of therapist maybe on your own or with your mom. Have you talked to your mom at all about these issues after what happened?

Lilly Anna:

No. Actually not particularly. No, not that one, no.

Jon:

Not that one. So when you say not that one I’m just saying like it’s not like — I mean you’re talking about probably one of the biggest traumas in your life and you say not that one as if like there’s — I didn’t talk about that, but I talked about not buying a dress last week.

But it’s a serious trauma and I would take this opportunity right now, while you’re with her, to talk to her. And I’m just wondering if you could just sit with me for a minute and just imagine that. Like if you’re sitting with your mom and you just sat with her and you said, “Mom,” and then whatever came up. Like the really — “When I was 10 years old I wanted to be with you. I mean that just really hurt.” I’m just wondering if you just imagined doing that right now. I’m just wondering like, what would that feel like?

Lilly Anna:

It’s more like a numbness, like oh no, it didn’t happen.

Jon:

Okay, okay. This is your issue, Lilly Anna, and we can talk about self sabotage or depression or all these things, but your issue is you’re totally numb to a severe trauma in your life. And that’s — the reason I’m saying this is so you can stay focused. We talk about, time and time again, how there’s an issue for everybody. This is your issue, so now you know what that issue is. You need to stay focused on it. You’re numb to it. There’s a lot in there, and I know that when it comes out it’s going to be huge, and it’s going to be really good and you’re going to have a huge, huge, huge breakthrough. And there’s an opportunity here. And there’s no coincidence that you’re calling me now while you’re living with your mom, because there’s a part of you that really wants to heal this issue.

So you’ve gotten through to talk to me at a really crucial time in your life. There’s a part of you that’s screaming out to heal this issue. You can’t go through life numb, because you know what numbness is? Numbness is a blockage. It’s a blockage in the flow of your energy, and that means that there’s a part of you where your energy’s not going, where your consciousness can’t go, and that part of you stagnates and creates — it’s almost like having water that can’t flow. Year after year after year it becomes putrid, so that has to be cleaned out.

And there’s three ways to do this. One is to continue to listen to the CD. Two is have a conversation with your mom and see what comes up, and just allow what comes up. And know that if you’re crying it’s a good thing. If you’re crying you’re healing.

Kelly:

Jon, what would be people’s resistance to listening to something that would help them, just like a lot of people say?

Jon:

The resistance is because something is coming up, and that coming up is causing their body, at some level, to want to hold on to weight. So when your body wants to hold on to weight, it’s going to do things like not make you want to exercise, do healthy things like eat wheatgrass, or listen to the CD. Your body is just not going to want to do that.

Kelly:

But the CD is a passive thing. I mean it’s just a thing you have to listen to, but even that, even Helen, that precious Helen, she said she had resistance herself in the beginning even just listening to it.

Jon:

So if you’ve got emotional — I’ve said this before and I say it in my book, if you’ve got emotional obesity, and that is an emotional need to hold on to weight for some type of emotional trauma, you can go to someone and say, “I want you to lift your little finger once a day,” you would find a way to forget to do that, you’re too busy, whatever it is, and that’s just your body holding on — thinking that you need to hold on to the weight and doing whatever it can to get you to hold on to the weight. But when you deal with the real issue, as we’re talking about with Lilly Anna right now, it’s going to go away.

But it’s going to take a little bit of work, Lilly Anna. Having some real conversation with your mother, really use this as an opportunity and see what comes up. And she might get really threatened by it because I’m sure she’s just as traumatized as you are, because she was a mother that couldn’t take care of her baby and there’s got to be nothing on earth that’s more traumatizing for a mother than to push her kid away. So this is going to be just as traumatic with her; it’s also going to be just as healing.

Kelly:

Jon, I was thinking about like counseling for her and I was thinking –

Jon:

Yeah, well, that’s what I was going to — that was the next thing I was going to mention.

Kelly:

Yeah, you had said that, to go to a counselor and I was thinking if money was an issue, as it seems to be with people, there’s overeater’s anonymous, but the HOW program, H-O-W, and they have like six months of questions that you answer a question every single night and it’s very intense, it’s free, and you can look it up on the internet. I know a lot of people that do the Gabriel Method that also do this just to have each other to speak to.

Jon:

I’m not familiar with it, Kelly, but if you could email me a link to it, I’ll take a look at it and if it’s a good thing I’ll post it on my site.

Kelly:

Yeah and it’s free. It’s completely free.

Jon:

We’ll post it on a forum if it’s a good thing, but I also tell people — I believe in energetic healing where you have a healer that goes back and all of a sudden you’re back 10 years old, because your body remembers things on an energetic level. And so I recommend going to an energetic healer.

And I just got a question, by the way, somebody just texted me a question. What if you can’t talk to the person? So this is going to answer that question if you can’t talk to the person. I really recommend you going to an energetic healer. So if you go to a health food store and you look at all the posters on the billboard, people advertising, and you look at one of them and you’re going to say that’s the person I want to talk to. They’re going to do some sort of therapy or they’re going to have you do some sort of breathing or visualization, where all of a sudden you’re 10 years old or you’re four years old and you’re reliving the experience. Your body — you have to get into that place for your body to let go of the memory on a cellular level. You see, you had a cellular memory of this and you have to be a 10-year-old again or get into that place to let go of the cellular memory.

I would also say, for the caller, that says, “What if you can’t talk to that person?” I would have an imaginary conversation with them. I was on — I don’t know if you remember a few weeks ago, maybe a month or two ago, we had Portia who, or Lady ReRun, on and she needed to talk to her father. And so on her show, and if you listen to her show, there’s one show that I did with her but it’s her show, not mine, because she also has a show on Blog Talk, if you listen to her show that we did together, I walk her through — we have a conversation with her father and she’s crying and I really — when we had that conversation with her father I actually saw — it felt like I saw what was happening and she was describing what was happening as I’m seeing it. And he smiles, he pushes her away, he says go get — pushes her away, in a loving way, says go be free, go fly, I let you go, all this kind of stuff and it was very healing. So if you can’t talk to the person, you can have that conversation through visualization.

RESULTS & HEALTH DISCLAIMER: Please understand that the results of Jon Gabriel and his students are not typical, and your results, if any, will vary and there is always the possibility you will not get the results you are looking for. The Gabriel Method is not intended to treat, cure, or prevent any disease or illness. This information is intended for educational purposes only, not as medical advice. Always check with your doctor before changing your diet, eating, or health program.