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Satirical football articles for LOL Football

Part-time footballer and full-time prima donna Adel Taarabt has lashed out at fellow diva Mario Balotelli for being a diva.

Blabbing to Sky Italia, Taarabt spoke candidly about his time with Super Mario at the San Siro when was loaned out to AC Milan last season.

“Balotelli? Everyone told me he was amazing and I played with him and I can say he is strong but he didn’t seem to me as though he was world class,” mud-flung Taarabt. “He is an ordinary player, not a phenomenon. He is someone who has a strong shot but he doesn’t play for the team. And if he does, he doesn’t score as is the case right now at Liverpool,” said Taarabt, who himself has scored precisely zero goals for QPR this season.

Taarabt went on to insist that Balotelli was wasting his potential, studiously avoiding looking at all mirrors in the room whilst doing so. “He had a lot of chances, from Manchester City to Milan, and he threw them away,” the Moroccan hypocriticised. This coming from a man who ‘Arry Redknapp has varyingly described as “three stone overweight”, “a genius” and a “complete fruitcake”.