Someone get the doctor
I'm not sure yet what for
But it's one of the big names this time

She'll be comin' around the mountain when she comes
With her scabby knees and her chewing gum
She knows just how to read the signs

She's been sayin' that my skin looks like leather but
Never ever have I felt much better
I've been thinkin' that I'm way under the weather but
Never ever have I been much better

Sing me aunt and sing me uncle
Plaster Simon and fix Garfunkel
Hold my hip hip hypochondriac while I loosen this old belt
I'm worst in the wind without the poison nuts and the quaker buttons
I'm best with firm pressure applied
With a clear view into her blue eyes

She's been sayin' that my skin looks like leather but
Never ever have I felt much better
I've been thinkin' that I'm way under the weather but
Never ever have I been much better

Singin' in the drain
What a glorious feeling
I'm hammered again and
I'm singin' and dancin' in the drain

Singin' in the drain
What a glorious feeling
I'm ruined again and
I'm singin'

Singin' in the drain
What a glorious feeling
I'm stymied again
I'm singin' and dancin' in the drain

Singin' in the drain
What a glorious feeling
I'm singin' in the drain
I'm singin' in the drain