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Americans have some of the cutest habits. We don't like
anybody to feel uncomfortable or take offense, and as a result, we are the
politest people on the earth - more so than the British, the Germans, the
French, or dozens of nationalities that pride themselves on well-turned
insults or blood feuds, successfully executed.

Recently, the Cartoon
Network, one of the few television properties still under Ted Turner's
control, put on a grandiose show of tender solicitude. The Network announced
that, effective immediately, it was going to ban the broadcast of Speedy
Gonzales cartoons.

Turner and his honchos consider the cartoon an example of
atavistic racial stereotyping -- an odd view, since Gonzales is bright,
enterprising, clever, and always manages to outwit and outrun his potential
foes. Furthermore, Turner and Company may have overdone the sensitivity
thing.

It turns out that devoted Speedy Gonzales fans still can see their
hero in action -- on Cartoon Network Latin America -- where fast-moving
mouse is hugely popular.

Time, activity and plain forgetfulness have a way of
easing raw pain. But we shouldn't recover too quickly from September 11th.

Think first about the chilling details: The hijackers moving briskly through
security lines; a pilot banking his jet at the last moment, dipping the
wings in order to kill as many people as possible at the world trade center;
firemen rushing into what would become their tombs; the skies going dark as
giant towers shudder and collapse.

Think about the Pentagon fireball. The
heroism of the men and women of Flight 93. Remember that as we mourned,
others, far away, danced in the streets. We have been drawn into a war for
our souls. We appreciate afresh the power of evil, the necessity of good,
and our shared American brotherhood.

After six months, we're different, but
the same: Brash, daring, idealistic and free. We brave the fire to set our
brothers free. We hoist the flag. And our defiance proclaims to the world:
We'll survive. We'll thrive. And we will win.

Washington, D.C's Janney Elementary School has sent
parents an astounding survey.

Here are a couple of questions sent home with
a kindergartener: "Have you ever talked with your child about becoming
sexually active?" And, do you agree or disagree with the following
statement: "If Americans engaged in more discussion about sex, discussion
that is respectful, thoughtful and mature, there would be less of a problem
with unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases in this country."

In other words: If kids heard more about sex, they'd be less inclined to try
it. I'm normally a calm, mild mannered guy, but this kind of stuff makes me
nuts. Educators seem determined to teach pre-teens stuff that would make
Hugh Hefner perk up with interest and surprise. Maybe the most galling thing
is that the locals are calling the program: "Real Life, Real Talk at
Janney."

Is this seriously what the school believes is "real life" for
elementary school kids? I think somebody needs to have a real talk with the
school ... real soon.