Hillary Clinton Is Holding A Campaign Event At A Pokéstop, Pokémon GO Is Officially Old News

Now I’m sure plenty of you read the title and saw my name under the article and immediately assumed that this was 100 percent satire. But I regret to inform you all that this is as real as it is uncomfortable listening to the words come out of Hillary’s mouth. If you thought Hill-Dog couldn’t be more in touch with younger voters, think again. She’s hopping on the Pokémon GO bandwagon and holding her next campaign event this Saturday at a Pokéstop.

“Join us as we go to the Pokéstop in Madison Park and put up a lure module, get free Pokemon, & battle each other while you register voters and learn more about Sec. Hillary Clinton!!!” the campaign website says.
Clinton also mentioned the wildly popular game at her campaign event in Annandale, Va., on Thursday.

“I don’t know who created Pokemon Go, but I’m trying to figure out how to get them to have Pokemon Go to the Polls,'” Clinton said, according to reporters at the event.

No person on earth tries harder and fails more miserably at appearing to be a normal human being than Hillary. “Pokémon GO to the polls” is easily the most cringeworthy sentence ever uttered in the history of mankind. So much so that there might be a silver lining to this whole fiasco. Hillary may have just killed Pokémon GO.

Public shaming and threats won’t stop these nerds from catching Bellsprouts and Geodudes at Arlington National Cemetery or Holocaust museums, but Clinton being all-in on “Pok-E-Man” might. Once she digs her claws into something, it’s officially lost all previous appeal.

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Dan Regester@Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer and Video Guy for Grandex Media. Delco trash. UCF alum. Famous FIJI on Wikipedia. Bit of a gambling problem. Advocate of shipping the homeless to Mars. Email tips to Dan@totalfratmove.com