Saturday, March 13, 2010

Library Days - A true story

A few years back I used to work at the library. I actually worked there for 10 years. Think back to the last time you went to a library, even if it was just the one at your elementary school. Do you remember seeing a wierdo? Someone yelling at a book, or using the bathroom in the corner? Of course you do. Because that's what the library is for. It's a place for people to go and get all that pent-up anitsocial behavior out of their systems. Anyway, here's a tale from a partically odd encounter I once had while working at the library. For additional fun, I've written it as a play, so that you can reinact it at home if you wish...

The angry cat surprise; Or, There and back again, a library tale

START

[Enter Scott into the library. Time is approximatly 5:45 P.M. Scott crosses library, takes position behind check-out counter. There are FIVE people in line.]

Scott: "I can help whomever was next"

[Woman in her forties crosses floor, approaches desk. She is wearing dark sunglasses, and is holding an open unbrella over her head despite the complete lack of falling water. ]

Woman with umbrella: "Why do you do this?"

Scott: "Do what now?"

Woman with umbrella: "You know what you do"

[Scott fidgits, as he does whenever a crazy starts asking him questions]

Scott: "I....uh....I don't really know what I'm doing"

Woman with umbrella: "I will ask you again, why are you doing this?"

[Scott thinks she might be talking about "why do I work at the library". Decides to ask her if that is what she means.]

Scott: "You mean work at the library?"

Crazy Umbrella Woman: "NO" [Woman with umbrella pulls out a camera and takes picture of Scott. Scott is startled]

Scott: "I can smile if you would like."

[Woman with umbrella doesn't respond. Puts a large tartan bag up on the counter. She looks at the bag. Scott looks at bag. Both characters are looking at the bag]

Scott: "Uhhhh...nice bag. Looks strong. A nice strong bag."

[Woman with umbrella reaches up and opens bag. A large tabby cat is hidden inside. Woman with umbrella tips bag on side]

Large tabby cat in the tartan bag: "HISSSS!!!!"

[Scott is again startled, steps back from the desk. Woman with umbrella uprights bag and in the same motion, closes it]

Scott: "..........?"

[Woman with umbrella and Scott again look at bag for a few moments. Scott is puzzled.]

Scott: "Huh...well, Ok."

[Woman with umbrella picks up bag containing Tabby cat in a tartan bag. Both characters turn around briskly, and leave stage right. Scott is left alone for a few moments.]

Scott: "Have a good night."

[Scott exits stage left. Lights fade out slowly, until all is dark. END

This play was awesome. I often wonder why I do what I do, and now when I wonder this I will have the image of a woman holding an umbrella with a psycho cat in a tartan bag. What a bold image to have in mind.

About Me

I am a 36 year old geologist. Well, kinda geologist. I used to spend my day putting dirt in little baggies and tube for study. Now I'm unemployed and looking for love. In High School I ran for class office and lost.