For posterity (the shoutbox had already cycled off the first half hour's worth before I got to it):

Reelist [15|Apr 03:35 PM]: for a second I was thinking this movie would have no redeeming value at all, but you're right I do enjoy thisReelist [15|Apr 03:37 PM]: when the kid comes on the scene, the racial tensions are wiped. because kids dont see colorReelist [15|Apr 03:37 PM]: this is the worst attempt at a movie ever trying to be funnyReelist [15|Apr 03:38 PM]: every single joke falls flatJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 03:39 PM]: right, it's a have your cake and eat it too situationReelist [15|Apr 03:39 PM]: this part is supposed to be a laugh riot, once again at the expense of asiansJust Withnail [15|Apr 03:39 PM]: holy fucking shit this is a deeply disturbed sceneReelist [15|Apr 03:39 PM]: did we even hear them run over something?Reelist [15|Apr 03:40 PM]: Keith David!Reelist [15|Apr 03:40 PM]: best smile in the businessReelist [15|Apr 03:41 PM]: I like Ryan PhillipeReelist [15|Apr 03:42 PM]: he's kind of the model for what the "ultimate handsome man" was for me as a teenReelist [15|Apr 03:43 PM]: this movie is set in L.A and we have 2 mexican charactersJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 03:43 PM]: other ethnicities can be jerks too!Reelist [15|Apr 03:43 PM]: that guys accent stinksJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 03:44 PM]: and his voiceReelist [15|Apr 03:44 PM]: this fat guys ethnicity I can't place, is he greek?Reelist [15|Apr 03:44 PM]: he kinda lightens things up with some actual good actingReelist [15|Apr 03:45 PM]: then cheadle saves the dayReelist [15|Apr 03:45 PM]: oH I forgot we have a third hispanic characterJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 03:46 PM]: now 2 middle fingers are upReelist [15|Apr 03:46 PM]: who is amused by this humor?Jeremy Blackman [15|Apr 03:47 PM]: here's matt dillon's "save the cat" sceneJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 03:47 PM]: the first oneJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 03:47 PM]: he requires a fewReelist [15|Apr 03:47 PM]: notice the white shirtsReelist [15|Apr 03:48 PM]: this was his comeback, remember?Reelist [15|Apr 03:49 PM]: I think I like the persian guy the leastReelist [15|Apr 03:50 PM]: ok one more mexican, I'm sorryReelist [15|Apr 03:51 PM]: I think what I hate the most in this movie is ludacris's theory about the busReelist [15|Apr 03:51 PM]: they keep lights on in the bus so people won't be fondled/robbed/assaulted/beheadedReelist [15|Apr 03:52 PM]: when Tony Danza shows up it really raises the barometer of your filmJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 03:52 PM]: this scene is actually good in terms of racial insightJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 03:52 PM]: the only one i can think ofReelist [15|Apr 03:52 PM]: trueJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 03:53 PM]: good scene count: 2Reelist [15|Apr 03:53 PM]: I need to watch a movie that actually deserved an oscar after thisJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 03:54 PM]: now fully back in cartoon landJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 03:55 PM]: this is one of the very worst scenesReelist [15|Apr 03:55 PM]: YOU PEOPLE?Reelist [15|Apr 03:56 PM]: maria bamford?Reelist [15|Apr 03:56 PM]: if maria bamford was in this i'd give the entire movie a passReelist [15|Apr 03:57 PM]: everyone throw a spoon at the screenReelist [15|Apr 03:59 PM]: his mom being on heroin is a little much, should've been a younger family memberDrenk [15|Apr 03:59 PM]: Your mom isn't on heroin?Reelist [15|Apr 03:59 PM]: even a cousin would sufficeReelist [15|Apr 04:00 PM]: she was, during her pregnancyJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:01 PM]: we're still talking about this?Jeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:01 PM]: is that scene milked all movie?Reelist [15|Apr 04:01 PM]: crying thandie newton is the worstJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:02 PM]: cause she's not humanJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:02 PM]: this is a sequel to WestworldReelist [15|Apr 04:02 PM]: the persian store owner sounds like tommy wisseauJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:02 PM]: he was excellent in HomelandReelist [15|Apr 04:05 PM]: Dillon ALMOST saves the bad writing but juuust doesn't quite make itJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:06 PM]: is this the Wise Up scene?Reelist [15|Apr 04:06 PM]: must beReelist [15|Apr 04:06 PM]: i swear to god i'm making that videoJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:07 PM]: put jim kurring's face on matt dillon hereReelist [15|Apr 04:07 PM]: this is SO stupidReelist [15|Apr 04:08 PM]: this marks the point in the movie when everyone starts 'Crashing'Reelist [15|Apr 04:09 PM]: i wish the car exploded with him walking away in the foregroundJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:09 PM]: good call on her being unable cryJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:09 PM]: still can't do itReelist [15|Apr 04:11 PM]: an interesting plot turn would be if they fell in love, THAT alone would be a movie I'd watch, but I feel like it's been done a hundred timesReelist [15|Apr 04:12 PM]: "love overcoming racism" etc.. but that's 'Monster's Ball'Jeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:12 PM]: that scene was so friggin longJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:12 PM]: clearly meant to be the centerpieceJust Withnail [15|Apr 04:13 PM]: anybody know the language of the song? is it the lyrics to crash into me?Reelist [15|Apr 04:13 PM]: just shazaamed it, it isReelist [15|Apr 04:14 PM]: sadly the 'crash into me' connection is going to be funniest thing to come out of this, only downhill from hereReelist [15|Apr 04:15 PM]: this movie has too many statsJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:15 PM]: here's a central flaw of crashJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:15 PM]: a conversation like this would normally happen between 2 white menReelist [15|Apr 04:15 PM]: ok "They just cant keep their hands out the cookie jar" is the first humorous line deliveryJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:16 PM]: like the one between matt dillon and shaniqua.... white guys don't usually say that right to a black personReelist [15|Apr 04:16 PM]: this is when don cheadle begs for a loanJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:16 PM]: it's a conversation among whitesReelist [15|Apr 04:17 PM]: yeah the characters are way too comfortable speaking on these subjects face to face. real racism is awkwardReelist [15|Apr 04:18 PM]: this movie, through and through is an old white guy thinking he can make "Do The Right Thing"Reelist [15|Apr 04:20 PM]: why would the persian store owner take it upon himself to do this?Reelist [15|Apr 04:21 PM]: something that always bothered me, and I noticed watching 'Girls Trip' is that even when movies have a largely black cast those actors are still very light skinnedReelist [15|Apr 04:22 PM]: where are the Yapphet Kottos of the world, the Bill Dukes?Reelist [15|Apr 04:23 PM]: I love that I can pull out Bill Duke's name without even IMDBingReelist [15|Apr 04:25 PM]: Terrance Howard is good hereReelist [15|Apr 04:26 PM]: so I'm glad to be able to share with you guys the last time I will ever watch this movie in my lifeReelist [15|Apr 04:27 PM]: it's good to be here just to vent, I've been so pent up all the previous watchesReelist [15|Apr 04:27 PM]: I've been shown this movie in classrooms on 3 separate occasionsJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:28 PM]: this guy is just behaving nonsensicallyReelist [15|Apr 04:28 PM]: that was a bad scream, PenaJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:28 PM]: LOLReelist [15|Apr 04:29 PM]: what was in that store, the arch of the covenant?Jeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:29 PM]: oh rightJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:29 PM]: blanksJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:29 PM]: "are you sure you want the red box?"Jeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:29 PM]: "do you know what those are?"Jeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:29 PM]: that was one of the absolute worst 5 minutes ever committed to filmReelist [15|Apr 04:30 PM]: that little girl is the only actor able to pull emotion out of me in the whole filmReelist [15|Apr 04:31 PM]: none of the actor's fault, it's on haggisJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:32 PM]: lol the scenes just keep getting worse at this pointDrenk [15|Apr 04:32 PM]: Because the movie itself is crashing.Reelist [15|Apr 04:32 PM]: most unnecessary fall in history?Drenk [15|Apr 04:32 PM]: (I have never seen Crash and I don't want to ever see Crash that's why I'm not doing this movie.)Reelist [15|Apr 04:32 PM]: she really did just crash to the floorReelist [15|Apr 04:33 PM]: good on youReelist [15|Apr 04:34 PM]: you can't not like Larenz Tate, though. EverReelist [15|Apr 04:36 PM]: I might watch the movie Belly after this to remind myself what good black characters areJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:36 PM]: do not believe this character did any of those thingsReelist [15|Apr 04:36 PM]: I missed whatever the fuck just happenedReelist [15|Apr 04:38 PM]: See, Lorenz tate shouldve been the heroin character, he's robbing everyone anywayReelist [15|Apr 04:40 PM]: is this the guy from Lost? I'm confusedReelist [15|Apr 04:40 PM]: who's racist nowJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:42 PM]: the guy from Lost was seen briefly on a busJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:42 PM]: i thought he would feature more prominentlyReelist [15|Apr 04:42 PM]: the guy in the hospital bed is from the car accident in the beginning? I dunnoJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:42 PM]: yes he isReelist [15|Apr 04:42 PM]: the interconnectedness is a little too vagueReelist [15|Apr 04:44 PM]: so don cheadle gets in a car accident with an asian guy, then the other black characters run over the asian guy, THAT'S your connection??Drenk [15|Apr 04:44 PM]: Does Donald Trump play in this movie?Drenk [15|Apr 04:45 PM]: I'd watch the Alt Man. An alt right guy with a Make American Great Again cap who thinks he's a super-hero.Reelist [15|Apr 04:45 PM]: No but it does look way too orangeReelist [15|Apr 04:46 PM]: Fraser's black assistant needs more of a partReelist [15|Apr 04:47 PM]: total missed opportunity to have some sort of affair going onReelist [15|Apr 04:47 PM]: oh no, THIS is the dave matthews partReelist [15|Apr 04:48 PM]: this movie is making me cry but not in the way it's intendedReelist [15|Apr 04:48 PM]: I'm crying for cinemaJust Withnail [15|Apr 04:49 PM]: this is like the fourth scene between Bullock and Fraser in the entire movieJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:49 PM]: THIS is wise upJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:49 PM]: even has the same delicate snare beatReelist [15|Apr 04:49 PM]: ughckReelist [15|Apr 04:50 PM]: so much time has passed and I feel like it hasn't begun to tell a storyDrenk [15|Apr 04:50 PM]: The movie you're watching won Best Picture over Brokeback Mountain.Drenk [15|Apr 04:51 PM]: Thousands of white people decided they finally managed to make the ultimate movie about racism or something.Drenk [15|Apr 04:51 PM]: And voted.Reelist [15|Apr 04:52 PM]: it's really sickening, you've done yourself such a service never seeing itReelist [15|Apr 04:52 PM]: annd it ends hereDrenk [15|Apr 04:52 PM]: I'd like to do an impossible experiment. Putting Crash every year at The Oscars. Trying to see if it wins or not.Drenk [15|Apr 04:52 PM]: Crash versus There Will Be Blood!Jeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:53 PM]: it's actually hard for me to dislike Ludacris for whatever reasonReelist [15|Apr 04:53 PM]: I wish the whole movie was about these asiansReelist [15|Apr 04:53 PM]: what a terrible down note song to end onJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:54 PM]: cue: "Crash Into Me"Reelist [15|Apr 04:55 PM]: I think this was a good way to exorcise this movie out of my system, confirming with you that all of it is terribleJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:55 PM]: well i feel like i've learned a lotReelist [15|Apr 04:55 PM]: I'm going to hug the next black person I seeJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:56 PM]: this movie has 2 good scenes and the last half hour is pure cinematic garbageJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 04:56 PM]: overall it was actually a bit worse than i rememberReelist [15|Apr 04:57 PM]: totallyJust Withnail [15|Apr 04:58 PM]: yeah, that was depressingReelist [15|Apr 04:59 PM]: I need a Paul Thomas Anderson movie put into my body intravenouslyJust Withnail [15|Apr 05:00 PM]: next time, let's do one we'll actually enjoy watchingjenkins [15|Apr 05:00 PM]: loljenkins [15|Apr 05:01 PM]: nah but i found it adorable yeahjenkins [15|Apr 05:01 PM]: jb please link the 2 good scenesjenkins [15|Apr 05:01 PM]: i'm gonna read the whole convo that'll be posted or you're crazy, but it doesn't sound like i need to rewind on that movieReelist [15|Apr 05:03 PM]: idk if it should be postedjenkins [15|Apr 05:03 PM]: lolReelist [15|Apr 05:04 PM]: the only thing Crash did for us tonight was make 3 white men very sadReelist [15|Apr 05:06 PM]: I wish the movie had even the slightest sense of what authentic racism isReelist [15|Apr 05:10 PM]: it has the pretense of racism without any characterization to back it upReelist [15|Apr 05:14 PM]: Tarantino treats racism as a given but nothing a character deserves to be hated forReelist [15|Apr 05:16 PM]: I'm definitely going to watch a Tarantino to wash down this bullshit I was just fed, it's a toss up between Jackie Brown and DjangoDrenk [15|Apr 05:20 PM]: Go for Jackie Brown.Reelist [15|Apr 05:23 PM]: I should, right? That would cheer me upReelist [15|Apr 05:34 PM]: So we just watched a movie thats trying to be really smart with bad results, I think whatever we do next should be incredibly stupidReelist [15|Apr 05:35 PM]: Lets look into a RatnerReelist [15|Apr 05:38 PM]: I’d be willing to watch any Ratner movie I havent seenpolkablues [15|Apr 06:22 PM]: Tower Heist is a really good movie to make fun of.Jeremy Blackman [15|Apr 06:28 PM]: "Hey we should make a movie about a tower heist."Jeremy Blackman [15|Apr 06:29 PM]: "What titles do you have in mind?"Reelist [15|Apr 06:33 PM]: Ive never seen: Money Talks, After The Sunset, Rush Hour 3Reelist [15|Apr 06:34 PM]: To watch money talks would be really getting in touch with Ratners rootsReelist [15|Apr 06:37 PM]: I’m not enough of a glutton for punishment to watch Tower Heist againReelist [15|Apr 06:48 PM]: Rush Hour 3 is the most promising for entertainment valueReelist [15|Apr 06:49 PM]: And it kind of runs along the same lines of movies dealing with racism shittilyReelist [15|Apr 06:55 PM]: Oh shit I’m watching one of my favorite podcasts and dan soder is wearing this shirt https://www.redbubble.com/people/scl57/works/22525841...ALw_wcBpolkablues [15|Apr 06:57 PM]: I’ve never seen After the Sunset. That looks like it could be the right kind of bad.Reelist [15|Apr 06:59 PM]: It could be.. anything to get the polkster on board I’m all forReelist [15|Apr 07:01 PM]: Its like Ratners attempt at a grown up movie, but theres no way it could have the pretension of ‘crash’Reelist [15|Apr 07:03 PM]: And we’d also be following up with a cheadle bombReelist [15|Apr 07:05 PM]: i think don cheadles involvement in both films seals the deal, right? Maybe our theme should be movies even cheadle cannot redeemReelist [15|Apr 07:06 PM]: Just imdb’d cheadle btw and the first movie next to his name when you scroll down is crashReelist [15|Apr 07:10 PM]: Ratner totally stole cheadle from PTA, he’s been in 3 of his movies after Boogie Nights. If he’d never used him I’d sure we’d have seen more of him by now, a bit part in PDL or michael k williams role in inherent vice, for exampleReelist [15|Apr 07:12 PM]: Or maybe paul just really didnt like when he brought up how black people interpret the donut shop robberyReelist [15|Apr 07:15 PM]: After The Sunset also released the same year as CrashNeil [15|Apr 07:18 PM]: My girlfriend made me go see crash back when it came outReelist [15|Apr 07:19 PM]: I should read the old thread and see what people thoughtReelist [15|Apr 07:21 PM]: Even if crash was a tough go this time, its a good unifying movie to kick this off because on the marquee it says “we hated crash”Jeremy Blackman [15|Apr 07:23 PM]: The 2 good crash scenes:Jeremy Blackman [15|Apr 07:25 PM]: Tony Danza / Terence Howard scene (talking about if the actor can talk black enough)Jeremy Blackman [15|Apr 07:25 PM]: Michael Pena scene with his daughterReelist [15|Apr 07:33 PM]: yupReelist [15|Apr 07:36 PM]: I just remembered when I was taking a college class on Interpersonal Communication after we watched Crash the teacher brought up how the "chinaman under my truck" scene is a great example of how we can sometimes uncomfortably laugh at thingsReelist [15|Apr 07:38 PM]: it felt like someone from another planet was explaining to me how humor worksReelist [15|Apr 07:45 PM]: "when Haggis began writing, it was not from his own viewpoint of what happened to him, it was from the perspective of the carjackers. That fits perfectly with Haggis' philosophy. "You can't write things from your own perspective," he suggests. "If you're going to cast yourself in the film, you have to be the villain." "Reelist [15|Apr 07:46 PM]: since when?Jeremy Blackman [15|Apr 07:49 PM]: All the "Chinaman" stuff is absolute cringeJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 07:50 PM]: You're right that it's clearly meant to be funnyJeremy Blackman [15|Apr 08:03 PM]: The last half hour of Crash is a shocking abomination. I can't overstate that.

I want to shoot for doing one of these a month, on the day and time we’ve chosen- Sunday, 6 pm (eastern US). We have plenty of time to plan this so more people can join so I want to figure out the best Sunday.

The next movie will be a Ratner film, Polka and I agree that “After The Sunset” would be perfectly suitable for this kind of thing, I know nothing about it except that it will stink. Maybe it will be more enjoyable to dissect than something as hollow and pretentious as ‘Crash’

It’s not. I made a big mistake buying Crash and that was only $3! I chucked the disc like a frisbee when I found it laying around earlier. I’m going to torrent these from now on. Some people are uncomfortable with torrenting, if that’s the case with most then maybe we should only choose movies from a streaming service for everyone’s convenience.

The Family Man is on Netflix. I haven't seen it, but I would assume Ratner directing a morality tale with a message directly at odds with his actual worldview should result in something ripe for mockery. Plus, you've got restrained Nicolas Cage and Don Cheadle as a literal magical Negro. Seems promising.

The Family Man is on Netflix. I haven't seen it, but I would assume Ratner directing a morality tale with a message directly at odds with his actual worldview should result in something ripe for mockery. Plus, you've got restrained Nicolas Cage and Don Cheadle as a literal magical Negro. Seems promising.