Wednesday, 15 December 2010

apologise for the dissapperaing act.. although iv not actually been anywhere !!its been a while since i last posted . im still here i'v just been keeping quiet..

misery seems to be my middle name , and nasty bitch an alias !! i have learned that i need this blog spot in my life - i disappeared into the background and tried to make myself unnoticed so that nobody could see that i am failing. the positive blogs of the girls successes made me feel like a loser. Everybody seems to be heading in the right direction and i am stationary - weight is just not budging . i was under the impression that i could have had this shit handled by now.

i have been pondering for sometime trying to establish when i was most happy - when was i on top of my game ?? at the time when i split up from 'the guy' i believed that i was the unhappiest i'd ever been but as i look back i realise that i wasnt , i might have been alone but i had a happy place. i was controlled , i was positive , of course i was angry but that angered converted itself into pure determination and this is what i need back in my life. i have been hoping for something tragic or devastating to happen to me so that i can go back to the old me. i loved my drive and i loved that nobody in the world mattered anymore and all i needed to concentrate on was myself - my shape !!

obviously ana has never left me, how could she ?? the voice has always been there telling me what I SHOULD and what I NEED to be doing but its now time for me to take full control. i need to wrap myself up in my little cocoon , in my little world . the only thing that i care about at this precise moment ME!!!!

I have kept to my 'safe foods' and on the odd occasion if i have accidentally sneaked something naughty in to my day i do what any other person who fills there stomach with devil food does THROWS IT UP - i have developed a brilliant technique btw !! i have continued with my gym sessions but will admit to skipping a few .. still a regular and still on first name terms with the reception desk.

i have been shopping on the net , i have ordered PRO ANA goodies , dvd's , books , all kinds of thinspo and im ready to throw myself back into this. i have ordered my supply of diet pills and i am going to take this to the extreme - wish me luck !!!

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About Me

Sometimes I feel like
Throwing my hands up in the air, I know I can count on you. Sometimes I feel like saying 'Lord I just don't care' But you've got the love I need To see me through
Sometimes it seems that
The going is just too rough
And things go wrong
No matter what I do.
Now and then I feel
That life is just too much
But you've got the love
I need to see me through

Blog Archive

Tips & Tricks ... Xx

Taken From Jade Her Pro-Ana Lifestyle*Take vitamin B6 and B12 supplements, they speed up your metabolism like none other * Purge in the shower, or in the sink when your music is playing. * If your about to binge, chew some gum, and think of yourself what obese people look like * Drink a glass of water every hour * Eat one meal everyday, this will help to prevent binge cravings * Take caffeine tablets * Smoke when you feel hungry * If you are craving food, brush your teeth * Eat gum all day * Sleep at least six hours a night, less than 6 hours stimulates appetite by 15% * Whenyou sit, move your foot or something, every cal counts! * Tell everyone you're allergic to some foods * Hit your stomach when it's grumbling * Never eat when people are around * Associate food with feeling sick * Never eat anything that doesn't have nutrition labels * Save one dollar for every meal you don't eat, then buy yourself a non food present * Take a bath * Always take your vitamins * Know when your trigger binge time is and avoid it * Drink water in stead of eating * Watch fat people eat, and see how disgusting they are * Listen loud music and sing/scream * Spinning yourself in circels decreases hunger

Taken From La Petite Princess *eat smart. Eating 800 cal worth of cake is way way different then eating 800 cal worth of fruits, veggies, etc. Fruits are actually not all that great for you- although the sugar is natural, it is still sugar. So, stick to two or so a day. Make sure to get some whole grains!!! I eat only only only whole grain breads and cereal- Total Whole Grain is great because it has plenty of vitamins to make your body use up more energy during the day, and the whole grain factor. Whole grains make you feel full, provide for better skin and better stomach function. I eat it with low fat yogurt- also very important to get dairy. That's for skin and hair also. Having a low cal diet you need to watch out so that all your hair does not fall out. Yogurt is much healthier than milk. Also, check out wasa whole grain crispbreads- thats the most whole grain per calorie you will ever find

Thin Comandments

1) If you aren't thin, you aren't attractive2) Being thin is more important than being healthy3) You must but clotes, cut your hair, take laxatives, anything to make yourself look thinner4) Thou shall not eat without feeling guilty5) Thou shall not eat fattening food withoud punishing afterwards6) Thou shall count calories and restrict intake accordingly7) What the scale says is the most important thing8) Losing weight is good, gaining weight is bad9) You can never be to thin10) Being thin and not eating are signs of true will power and succes.

Stats ...

I have removed last years stats and away we go , fresh brand new start. new attitude , new plans , same goal - THIN !Age : 26