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Friday, March 20, 2009

In two weeks...

....I'll be a good mom. LOL. Deep down honest to goodness I know I am doing the best I can right now, but yesterday I was just lonely, down & out and feeling like I'm doing a horrible job of being a mom. I feel like in two weeks we'll have a new (although temporary) home and we can settle, have time to play, not worry about whether the house is sparkly for showings or whether everything is packed up for storage. It will be done. I can't really explain how much I look forward to that. It is so big to me. I feel like we'll have time to do things we haven't been able to. To sit down and do crafts and make a big mess without worrying that someone is going to knock and want to see the house. To play games and go places bright and early in the morning. To explore. To turn off the tv -- and mommy the computer ;) . I know that being in a new house (or anywhere) and not having ours for sale isn't going to magically change how we've been doing things, but its sure going to make things a lot easier. And I can't wait.

I was very lonely last night. I miss Glenn. Then I think about my friend whose husband is in the Navy or my friend whose husband just up and left. If they can survive and are so strong, then I can too. They've got it much harder than me, that's for sure. It makes me sad that every time we come in from running an errand that Beanie says "dada" as we open the door because she expects him to (finally) be home. She wakes up in the morning calling for him, which I find a little odd because he is home one (maybe two) mornings a week when she wakes up. I keep telling her he's at work and he'll be home Saturday. I know he will get a huge running (tackling) hug and a big smile just like he did on Tuesday. And I know he misses us too.

Beanie and I are off to look at a few houses this afternoon. Unfortunately not much new popped on the market today, although I'm going to check again in a couple hours. I really don't think any of these is going to be the one, but who knows I might be surprised!