after the final no, there comes a yesand it's on that yes, that the future world depends

Wallace Stevens

but there's no one left at homeand i believe i'm going to rain

looking back on the home moviesthat Dad took of us in better timeswhen nothing mattered but usin love with life - lunging forward captured on celluloid - on 8mm film(now on VHS tape - not yet digitized)on a used camera he bought for 30 bucksin 1965 - just for fun, working for a few monthsthat summer, before it broke downwhere fixing it would cost morethan what it was worth

back when fun - was still an option ok, sometimes i took picturesof them too

silent, all rather choppy, disjointed and yetrelevant

absent of sound and music

.

we are afraid and so we should bein a world that hangs onto damage in a determined dementiawe rise/evolve/resolve - here today, gone tomorrowappreciating my British heritagenow in Canada

kids with guns in americabeating and shooting each otherstill in high rotation - in a relentless revolver rampageplaying russian roulettewith guns that can be purchasedat a corner store

despite all that

i'm beginning to admire human naturein a way i couldn't up till nowmore recently in observationthe progress is real

we humans are essentially benevolent creatureswho love more than hatehistory continually shows us that there's hope

in the ruinswe always rise up homophobia transcended into a new beginningin recent events where those who hang on to the pastare left behindwhere the storm finally takes it's tollending life, prematurely

despite what we read, hear, feel adjusting to modern timeswhere corrections are being madeout of necessity

all fueled by the will of the massesabolishing fossil fuels/carbon emissionsembracing renewable energy so yes, good newsthe world is changing exponentiallythank god

so many good things going on

we're so sorry, uncle albert
but if anything should happen
we'll be sure to give a ring

focusing on what worksover that which doesn'ton what's real vs.what isn't real we're FINALLY getting what needs to be donemore emphasis on ecological and environmental sustainability

dancing in the debatein what's doable

climate change being addressed in new forumsthat challenge the status quothe biggy in Paris in December 2015coming

and so the monsoon keeps coming - year after yearbringing life and death with itand yet embracing it nonetheless because we need the raineither waythrough the floods and the droughtfeast and famine, profit and povertya time to remember

g e t h s e m a n e

this memoir is for my grandmother, andfor our precious children/grandchildrenour future generations we live in a beautiful worldbecause we rememberwhat works