pain

LOVE of life and all that we experience daily comes from what we believe is LOVE! The simplest words to express this inner emotion are, “I LOVE YOU!” As babies we are cherished with hugs and kisses from all who LOVE us and welcome us into the world. We grow up with this inner emotion expressed to us throughout our lives.

Sometimes though we are shown LOVE by another and then abused or lied to and filled with grief over something we did wrong. Where does the LOVE go? What is the fear that holds this person captive to do harm to someone they claim to LOVE?

“Hearts grow from a love of life and of each other…” – Anthony T. Hincks

In life, we journey a path that either is filled with LOVE, lacks LOVE or we are confused by LOVE! Many of us live a life of not believing we are worthy of LOVE, feel LOVED or simply do not know how to LOVE ourselves or another. Where does that stem from?

February is the month of LOVE!

Red is the color of LOVE!

Candy, Flowers, Champagne, Jewelry express LOVE!

Emerald Green is the color of the 4th Chakra our heart that pulsates LOVE!

Hugs and Kisses embrace LOVE!

Diamonds speak of LOVE!

An entire day to celebrate the LOVE in our lives is offered every February 14th. There are songs as well and all choices of gifts, books, and means of celebrating this special day as a LOVING couple, parent, sibling, child or friend. Remember the little Valentine cards in school and the candy hearts with the words on them we shared. The sentence, “Will yoube my Valentine?” The sweetness of these memories is of LOVE or pain today for some.

“If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love…” – Maya Angelou

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My granddaughter Luciana is an expression of LOVE. When she FaceTimes me or I see her, I say to her, I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! She giggles and says it back to me. At two years old she is LOVE!

Her brothers, Franco, six years and Sal, four years of age hug and kiss me when I visit and they feel LOVED and I feel LOVED. Sometimes actions are louder than words when it comes to LOVE!

At ten years old my oldest grandson Hunter is at the age where he is cool and has the sweetest smile when he sees me and we both know we are LOVED! His brother, Hudson at nine years of age is a bundle of LOVE open to a hug and kiss from me and eager to show his strength. My six-year-old granddaughter, Jameson is pure beauty and LOVE as she beams out joy.

“Happiness is a child’s smile…” – Anthony T. Hincks

I cannot imagine ever in my life how they will experience this loss of LOVE one day through the societal relationships of others beliefs. I do understand that there is a reason for all that we experience on this amazing journey we travel. The plan, actions of others, karma, release and outlook on life is to discover the truth that rests with wonder when we were children like my grandchildren. Children have an inner wisdom that needs to be nurtured to allow their mastery of self to be experienced as a LOVE for self.

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To suffer abuse, abandonment, criticism, judgment, control from another is painful no matter how old you are. There is no LOVE ever portrayed in pain caused to another especially if they claim to LOVE you! This painful type of LOVE cuts deeply into the core. We as a society accept pain as part of the path of life but it is not acceptable.

As a mother, I have raised four children with LOVE, kindness and respect. Today, I choose LOVE in all situations completely. Why? I believe that LOVE is the answer to all the craziness in life that many experience and choose instead of LOVE!

What if, we decided to live and let live as the saying goes with no reaction of anger, control, criticism or judgement towards another? It is not easy but it is time to try in some way to forgive and LOVE each other. To be kind, honest and release our own fears and embrace LOVE! If there is someone in your life filled with fear, anger and judgment know they are in pain and not capable at this time to choose LOVE! Offer them your LOVE!

Look around at those you say youLOVE …

Does your heart skip a beat when you see them?

Do you respect their choices in life?

Are you in awe of their sacredness?

Have you told them that you LOVE them and showed them with an action?

When was the last time you took time to be with the one you LOVE holding hands?

What surprise do you have planned to express LOVE this Valentine’s Day or any day?

Do you see your LOVED one, really see who they are as they are?

Can you relate with LOVE when your LOVED one needs your compassion?

How true are you in life to all whom you claim to LOVE?

Do you fear expressing LOVE because of your upbringing?

Can you forgive someone who has harmed you in the past, by taking their LOVE away?

“One is loved because one is loved.No reason is needed for loving…” – Paulo Coelho

Valentine’s day will come and leave and there will be tears of surprise, engagements, joy, happiness and lots of candy and flowers. For some there will be no celebrating, no joy, happiness or candy and flowers. LOVE simply is the emotion of who you are and the life you choose to live.

If you LOVE yourself you are filled with joy, respect and happiness. It is not the normal choice for many because of the society we leave in that has created this holiday as one day to tell another and show them how we LOVE them. LOVE simply is a daily, weekly, monthly and yearly emotion in life that needs to be expressed not held back or refused. Where there is LOVE, there is action, otherwise it is just another word!

“Love life and life will love you back. Love people and they will love you back…” – Arthur Rubinstein

What does this mean?
Do we all carry buried grief from lifetimes lived?
Is the sadness within that fills our heart and daily thoughts from ancient times?
How do we survive in today’s world with sadness that is of grief from another lifetime?
Is this what the word ancient means to you? To me?
How old is your sadness?
How old is my sadness?
How old is the grief we carry in our hearts?
Is this sadness born of our emotions?

Our arms are one with our hearts, and it is this place that is our fourth chakra within our bodies. As well as our circulatory system, lungs, ribs, breasts, and shoulders. Sadness and grief stem from our heart as the demon of the fourth chakra is grief. Lifetime after lifetime it is our chakras that are the blueprint to our souls.

Babies cry at a very early age – why? Is the sadness they carry from their past lifetimes unable to be released today? Are we born over and over again to finally be beings of love? To release the fears and anguish we hold towards others today? Do you believe in reincarnation?

“You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty…” – Mohandas K. Gandhi

Questions? There are always questions to be answered!

As we struggle through difficult times can it be that the soul has a memory of the grief we lived through in all our lifetimes? Is it even possible that the emotions that we feel today as sadness is from another lifetime and triggered today in this life experience? When we have an illness of any kind in these areas of our heart, we must go within and reflect on why? Is any of the sadness we carry today our truth? Is it in any way necessary?

Breast cancer, lung cancer, are all part of the fourth chakra, our heart. Hand pain, carpal tunnel syndrome all part of this chakra. Do you believe that you are not loved? Are you grieving? Are you sad?Ask yourself why? Journal on how you think, speak and feel daily. If after three days you wake up miserable, and very unhappy, you need to make a change in your life.

“All human beings are interconnected, one with all other elements in creation…” – Henry Reed

Grief is our sadness because of the pain we felt at any given moment in time.

Why do we choose to carry sadness forward in all lifetimes! How does one release the grief? How does one release the sadness? How does one release the pain?

Let’s think about this ancient grief that stirs within us at any given moment. This grief is sadness that eats at our core which most likely is not even ours. Grief creates pain within our hearts that we cling to. Why? What has been done cannot be undone!

Can it be that our ancestors have gifted us with what we call today fear, pain, and sadness? Where does it come from that we still are affected by it today? Will we do the same to our children and grandchildren? Why do we not release it now? How do we release it?

Is it time for us as parents to look at life differently when it comes to our children? Can we wonder of their sadness and why they cry and act as they do? What is bothering them that we are unaware of? What are their fears? What is their pain?

Sadness for me is the memory of unjust, prejudiced, judgmental, mean, unkind and an unloving humanity towards each other. Is it possible for us as a society of humans to release the hate, anger, and fighting amongst ourselves?And if we do, say one day wake up to being the beings of love we are, will that erase the sadness and grief that we carry? That I also carry! That my children and grandchildren carry? As we are one, how can I heal to help you heal?

“An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity…” – Martin Luther King Jr.

Have I after lifetimes of suffering as a human by hate or love attached myself to this pain and sorrow forever?If I heal myself will that heal you also? Since we are all one all it would take is for us to offer kindness and forgiveness towards those we share our lives with daily. Maybe even towards strangers would help heal us all.

In today’s world, there are many acts of violence and deaths of loved ones that stir the mind and heart to deep sadness and pain. We have no answers to the many acts of violence, terrorism, and killings that happen in the moment. Even our weather is stirring up fear, sadness, and pain. We have become troubled by the thought that fills our minds of, what is going to happen next?

AFFIRM: I am choosing now, this day to release the sadness within and eliminate the grief that connects me to free myself and to free all of the humans that suffer from the nastiness of life. The nastiness of life is the unjust, unkind, hateful, mean words and actions any of us project onto another. May I forgive those who harm me, as well as, those I have harmed. May we all celebrate the lives lived that have been taken too soon. May I know in my heart that there is a reason for everything that happens in this world. Today, I release that which no longer serves me.

“Life is a process. We are a process. The universe is a process.” – Anne Wilson Schaef

Let us choose not to be sad but to embrace that we are born as beings of love, and it is now the time to open our hearts to one another. We must stop the negativity, unkind words, ugly remarks, criticism, and anger towards each other. It is now the time and age in life where it must be a choice within our hearts that life is a place of living, learning and loving one another. To move forward away from sadness, fear and pain we must embrace love and offer love towards all. Awareness and forgiveness are essential to moving forward and not getting stuck in our past or centered on our future.

As we come together in times of attack and hateful situations that harm those we love, may we open our hearts always in all situations! Why must we wait for an act of violence to join as loving humans helping one another? We are beings of love first. Choose today to offer prayers and forgiveness, as you open your heart with love for all of life.

Why not choose to think before we speak, react with love in all situations, stop trying to control one another and let others live their life as they want as long as they are not choosing to hurt themselves or anyone else. Now is the moment to stop being critical and judgmental of one another no matter what the circumstance.

The sadness I carry within, and you carry as well, is the essence of all that we are witness to in life that is not of love. Let us choose love!

There is sadness, and an ache for all that will never be. The loss is part of life as change is the process. Nothing ever stays the same. We live, and we die. We discover, and we make choices. Sometimes they are excellent choices and sometimes they are not. My thought is about processing the loss we experience. The only thing that is constant in all our lives is change.

“Mostly it is the loss which teaches us about the worth of things.” – Arthur Schopenhauer

The loss of our loved ones, the loss of our relationships, our jobs and even the loss of our pets. Terrorism is a loss, as well as drastic changes in our weather, fire, and hurricanes. There is a loss where a person you love cannot find their place in life and ends up as a loss to themselves and others. They only are fighting a battle that they cannot win unless they incorporate change into their existence.

Life can be dark. Life can be scary and feel unsafe for some. The loss is that which we cannot release as the pain seeps deep into our mind and body. We get that lump in our throats when triggered by another’s loss. We know our loss, and we feel their loss. How do we deal with these nightmares in our lives? The loss we feel is simply the horror that we experience or one we anticipate.

Tears need to fall. Tears are required to stream down our face and wet our lips as we process the pain of loss. Does it matter what type of damage there is? No! What is important is that we handle the loss and deal with the pain through meditation, prayer, journaling, and by embracing Mother Nature.

“Grief is NOT a disorder, a disease or sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve.” – Earl Grollman

To embrace Mother Nature, we stroll through the streets of our neighborhood, walk through a park, sit in the sand at the beach. We need to breathe in the essence of her beauty to heal the heart that is wounded. Her vision will allow us to taste the salt air on our lips as the sun warms our face! To be grounded in the presence of Mother Nature will heal us. As we heal others will heal as well.

Many years ago when I was struggling with a loss of self actually, it was a daily walk outside and at the beach that comforted me. I felt connected to something that was bigger than me. I felt loved by the beauty of nature. It took me some time to heal and find that I could love me as I am. There was no loss anymore sitting within. I grew from the experience of this as we all can grow from any loss that we allow to shut us down.

Death is a significant loss of life for everyone. I have decided to stop counting the deaths in my life experience. I cannot imagine how much more will come. As I cannot choose who lives or dies, it is my freedom to accept that change, loss and death are part of the game. I believe that we are eternal beings, so there is no death just a transition from this life to the other side of the veil.

“No one ever really dies as long as they took the time to leave us with fond memories.” – Chris Sorensen

The process of life and death which equals loss is to grieve as long as is necessary. To cry, go to bed but for no longer than 48 hours with the covers over our head. Disconnect from life for a few days and feel the pain. Journal. Meditate. Pray. It will help us and those we are grieving if we pray for them. There is no set time to grieve. We must grieve those we lose to their transition. I always imagine that life and death is a tremendous plan we incorporate in the spirit world before we arrive as part of the game of life.

I recall, years ago when my brother died my mom wore black for two years. In looking back, my grandmother wore black all of her life because of the deaths of her many children. Was it a way of showing the world, ‘I am in pain.’ ‘I am grieving a loss.’ ‘I am sad.’ Today we seem to jump right back into our lives and forget to stop and mourn. To breathe in the death and loss of someone we loved is extremely necessary. Eventually, illness will surface if we do not take the time to grieve our loss.

Life has a blanket around each of us that is comforting at times, but at other moments it seems not to be able to keep us warm. It can be itchy or too thin! The drama in our lives that surround a loss is the sadness of the heart for that which will never be. Can we scream and beat ourselves up for something that we have no control over. No! Can we blame ourselves for something we have no control over when something or someone comes to its end? No!

The loss we all experience is part of life as we change and grow into our awareness. It matters not the type of loss but that we take the time to feel the pain. We need to reflect on our lives and our loves. We will heal from that which has changed because our lives are all eternal.

Loss of self is the hardest for the person and those around them. To not understand because of confusion, to change ever so slowly on a daily basis because the mind is confused. The onset of dementia creeps into an entire families world not only the victim of said illness. Dementia changes the mind as well as the way the person acts because the memory begins to fade. It is almost as if they do not even know if they spoke or not. The sadness that surfaces are coupled with anger because they do not know if they spoke out loud, inside their heads or did not speak at all. It must feel as if they are going insane to them.

Years can pass by and still there is something different, but no one can grasp the significance of dementia that is creeping into their lives. We as a society expect those we love, as they age to have loss of memory. However, loss of memory and dementia are different because of the confusion that sets in as well. It is not a matter of where I put the keys but more about what are the keys for with dementia.

All loss fills us with pain. All loss is sad. All loss at one time or another will touch all of our lives. The loss of our lives is part of the game of life. We simply need to become aware and prepare ourselves that loss is possible. The loss we get to experience is part of life!

The purpose of my existence has been to love and be loved. I never questioned any other way of being. I simply knew to love. It mattered not the situation or how I was treated my choice was to love. At times when fear crept into my world I wrote poetry or took to my journal to make sense of others in my life being unkind. When I became a mother thirty-eight years ago the meaning of my being here was confirmed. To nurture and nourish with unconditional love was the key that unlocked the despair from yesterday.

There was a part of me that understood the natural essence of life and how to provide with my body through natural childbirth and breast feeding a cord that would sustain us both. This wonder in my first son was a miracle with my husband that we would create a total of four times. The memories I have stored away that I treasure from the very moment I met these babies has sustained me to know my purpose. I believe that they set the stage for what I do today in more ways than one can imagine. As a single mom my children kept me sane. I realized early that I never owned them and that I was simply the means of their existence and foundation.

I deeply loved the responsibilities that came with this new title I proudly wore that I was chosen to be the mother of Tory, Tina, Nicholas and Jessica. Dinner time was family time where we gathered together to share our day and to laugh. You may wonder if there was conflict, rebellion and disagreement between these siblings and society. I fool you not and share that we existed as a family bonded by a mother that saw no wrong in her children. Boundaries were a key ingredient in their world as they grew up. Do not think that they did not call to my attention the judgmental and critical attitude of their teachers. Still, I stood firm in my belief in my children no matter what.

Children learn by love and support which they received abundantly. Who they have grown to be in essence as husband, father, wife and mother is critical to how they were raised. The two youngest ones who are not married yet still have time to choose how they will approach the world of being a spouse or parent.

What they have accomplished today is their freedom to live in a world where many have fallen victim to drugs. Is this the reality of a society that has fallen victim to substances, due to the fact of pain, choice or a prearranged contract? Why does one choose to be addicted and another not? Only God knows the answer to that.

In reality, I am a child of an alcoholic but I chose not to be one. Is there a lesson here that I simply learned that I grasped at a young age? Can it be that what I was witness to was part of the plan? As we are all children at one time raised by our parents very early on, I wonder who is the teacher and who is the student?

Today as I blog my baby has turned thirty years old. I am amazed at how time is the one thing we can not stop or change or return to in our reality of life. Time does not wait for anyone. Children will grow up with or without love I imagine. Although I do believe as a mom that my greatest and only reason for being is to love these children under all circumstances.

Who I am today on this path that I travel is because of them, my husband and my parents. Many have travelled along with me and some have stayed while others ventured away. Know that we are all here to light the way for another with love.

I have noticed that many people are so filled with fear that panic sets in constantly. These are the ones who are clueless and unable to accept that there is a process to life. How do we learn to love and accept that all things are possible? It is this freedom that waits for all. It is the insight we need to possess that we can all make a difference that encourages love daily as the main ingredient that is required.

I believe there is no reason to hurt anyone by our actions or words for we then create pain in our own lives. The pain that fills one so much that they need to inflict pain onto someone else does tremendous damage to them. It is this vicious cycle they live within that they cannot escaped from. They are living in a bleak world letting no light in! No joy can rise to comfort them, as they dig deeper into their own fears. Love, honesty and trust in the universe are what they need to set them free. It cannot be attained by their refusal of letting love lead the way.

They grasp this belief that they need a say in life even if their words are hurtful or unkind. To travel a road that is rocky and twisted because they live by what they believe is the only way. The refusal to seek another way or another choice eliminates that which is needed to fill them with joy and kindness. The blinders in life they refuse to take off do not allow them to see that anything one can dream is possible.

It is this inner refusal to trust the process of life because in reality they do not believe there is a process. They are so unbalanced in their souls journey that their soul is buried deep in pain unnourished. Their ego is strong and fully heard by all. It is this lack of balance by their negative beliefs in life that create fear and pain daily for them to project onto others. An enormous amount of change is required by the choices they are offered which can make a difference if they are willing. Unfortunately, many refuse to choose that which will comfort and nourish their soul. When one prays, meditates, journals, reads spiritual books change will come.

It may also be considered it is simply not their time to learn because they have refused for so long that this lifetime may come to an end before its time because they need another life experience to grasp their lessons to set them free. I believe time is of no importance but to live a life empty of love, joy, kindness and giving creates wounds of the heart.

That small voice of our inner child is terrified and needs a hug, a kind word, acknowledgement and to know she is loved. What has scared her into being fearful is the screams, the anger, the shame and the dysfunctional pain of yesterday. Can she release the nightmares, the ache in her chest that fills her to hate another – a mother, father, brother, sister, uncle or friend. She carries the words, the punches, the screams and abuse today because she is trying to make sense of yesterday. Did she do something wrong? Was it her fault? Is she not allowed to feel loved? The answers to these questions haunt her mind and fill her dreams with a need to know. She is terrified of the answers as well because in her heart she believes she is not worthy of love today.

I love you as you are and I know you did nothing wrong. As a child how could you have done anything wrong. To release the fears of yesterday, the pain, and abuse forgiveness is key. Forgive yourself for you are an innocent. Forgive those who have harmed you for they had to be taught how to harm. We are all doing the best we can by those who have raised us as children yesterday. A child needs to know they are safe, are loved and that they have boundaries to adhere to. No one is allowed to hurt another with words, an object or their hands. Yet, we are a society filled with fear and pain by hateful words, flying objects and hands that abuse another by hitting or touching inappropriately.

Neglect to a child is no boundaries to know what is allowed and what is not.

Neglect to a child is yelling, screaming and a parent who does not listen to them.

Neglect to a child is fighting between the parents.

Neglect to a child is not feeling safe in their own home.

Parents are powerful and the first law is respect for this child you have brought into the world. Children are born with unconditional love for their parents and when this love is not returned the inner child closes down and suffers a deep pain that they carry through life. How can a child forgive those who have created this inner fear, this feeling of being unloved, unwanted, not safe or just filled with guilt and shame. Pray, Meditate, Journal …

God is Love. Love is God. When we turn our belief to Him and trust that He has a plan for us we forgive the past, we forgive ourselves. There are only two aspects of life, the first is love which is God and the second is fear which is not God.

It takes more energy to be angry then to laugh.

It takes more energy to hate then to love.

It takes more energy to stay mad then to forgive.

Pay attention to your emotions and shift them to be filled with love for yourself and others. The past can no longer hurt you because it is done. The present is your choice to live a life filled with joy by moving past the moment of pain which cannot be changed. We all have our stories but we are all given ‘free will’ by God so change the story to one of love for all no matter what has happened yesterday. You are responsible for your thoughts and once you change them to positive, loving, kind thoughts you will change yourself and those around you. May God bless you with inner peace, joy, happiness and love because you are a child of God and you are here to be like Him. Don’t let another dim your light even a little.

Condescending behavior stems from the belief that you are better than another. However, this is just once again the fear that someone might be better than you. God has created us all equal and it is our belief that we are either prettier, thinner, wealthier, smarter and better than each other. You create this attitude toward people who cross your path in life and even with people who are your family and friends because somewhere, someone took a look at you and told you that you were inferior to them. Once this seed gets planted and watered, sometimes daily it grows into the deepest of roots of your being and you cannot break free because the fear and pain eat away at you.

We are all believers in one form or another that someone else knows more than us. When the truth in life is that we are all at different levels of consciousness. We have been able in prior lifetimes to learn certain lessons and now we are here in this lifetime as well to learn certain lesson that we can carry forward as that part of who we are that is connected to God…

Like this:

Controlling becomes a way of living your life because for some reason you have this need to believe you know what is best for everyone due to the many regrets when you reflect on your own life. However, trying to control another by telling them what to do, punishing and getting angry because you do not agree with their choices and how they are living constitutes that you are once again projecting onto another your fear and pain. The words floating in your mind are ones of regret and remorse, “what if I had done this or that?”

Once again, you are unhappy because you believe you know what is best for another due to the fact on how you believe you have messed up your life. Your choices in life are for you to mend and for you not to assume another has no right to choose for themselves.

The bottom line is that all you need to do is to learn the lessons from all life experiences and nourish yourself. Forgive yourself and let the past be released so that you can meet your soul by becoming aware…

What if the only reason we are born to this planet, to these parents and into this family is to learn the lesson of love for those we communicate with daily so that we can then share the inner peace that love brings to all? When we love unconditionally, which means no abuse in any form, controlling behavior, condescending attitudes, critical remarks, judgmental know it all words, negative beliefs about life and opinionated behavior that says we know everything then and then are we learning the lesson of love.

Abuse is any form of words or actions that upset another person you claim to love or even towards a total stranger. You are upset how your life is going and you lash out at another because you feel that you have the right to project onto another pain because you yourself feel fear and pain in your reason for being. Tears only make you angrier because you are not connected to the nourishment of your soul to soften the blows in life. You have denied yourself for so long that you have become this person that lives daily in fear of life. You are abusive to yourself by the thoughts in your mind, the words that come out of you mouth and your actions stem on cruelty because you are a time bomb waiting to blow up. In the end, you forget that you love this person, that this stranger is innocent and doing the best he or she can and that you have no right to treat anyone the way you treat yourself with fear, pain and a total negative outlook…