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Sunday, July 2, 2017

We create understanding through understanding...

Many people with Hashimoto's feel frustrated that others "don't get it."

"They just don't understand what I'm going through!!" many exclaim, over and over.

So many people are just so "sick and tired" of no one understanding!

See the familiar pattern at play?

Yes, it is a pattern.

And it doesn't serve in any way.

This "sick and tired" pattern loves to be sick and tired about everything.

Donna-Lynne Larson performs in the original stage play about thyroid disease.

"Nobody understands!" has become a rally cry, an energized victim anthem for all involved.

Clearly, if we've been telling them over and over, and they still don't grasp what's happening, we must be taking the wrong approach. As we all know, we can't keep doing the same thing over and over and expect a different result.

As well, we can't simply "expect" people to understand our journey if they've never walked this path.

I mean, do we understand everyone else's journey?

Do we even fully understand our own journey?

There's good reason they don't understand.

With this in mind, it's very possible we haven't created a good opportunity for understanding.

It's become very clear that we are being called to act out in new ways, to find a new means of expression and communcation.

From a human/psychological point of view, when we are telling the people who care about us about all the struggles we are going through, believe it or not, as I've learned from my family and friends, it frightens them, probably as much as it frightens us.

"I can't get out of bed!, I'm useless, I'm achy, My hair is falling out!, I feel terrible, I have a crappy doctor! What happened to my eyelashes!?"

That's a "negative affirmation" song and dance many of us get stuck playing over and over.

To confuse matters, in the next breath we are heroically moaning, "I'm fine, never mind about me, I'll surviiiive."

We throw in the classic martyr mixed-message to make things even more difficult to understand.

If we are to be honest, even when there is some progress and a bit of relief shows up, we STILL tend to default to the negative--because there is always something to be "sick and tired" about. This dis-ease pattern RELIES ON this sort of heavy, doom-full thinking in order to thrive.

(And take note: it's a talk-track children will absorb and integrate very quickly, setting up a dis-ease pattern that plays on.)

Think about how you would feel hearing about all this doom and gloom. You might feel helpless, saddened, confused, unable to be of service, even responsible, and this would ultimately cause you to judge, ignore or block the information, and withdraw---act out in ways that are unintentionally hurtful to the person you care about.

We end up with the opposite effect of what we are really hoping for when we continue to lament our woes over and over in this dis-ease perpetuating way.

We are not INVITING PEOPLE into the story in order to change it--we are actually holding them at bay, especially if we are using accusatory tones in our ineffectual quest for understanding. (Perhaps because subconsciously we are not yet prepared to change it? We only understand "sick and tired?")

Rather than putting our friends and family in that position, and in order to end our own challenging obsession with the victim loop of "rehashing all our struggles," we need to tell everyone the things WE ARE DOING to regain our health and vitality and ask if they can think of ways that they might be able to support us.

Maybe they can help with food preparation, or attend doctor visits with us, or give us foot rubs!

Everyone loves to feel needed and helpful.

This approach, an approach asking us "to voice our needs" without carrying guilt and the martyr-complex, and to rise up in honor of our own self-worth, will affirm a deeper commitment to making progress by allowing others inside a WELLNESS WORLD, not deepening our commitment to a sick world.

Instead of committing everyone to the "we're-all-stuck-in-my-sick-story," a real, definite, clear plan-of-action swings into motion.

We move out of the victimization that keeps this story stuck and stale.

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Disclaimer

This story-blog is intended to entertain, engage, educate and enlighten, with the highest of intentions for your health and wellness. The thoughts and ideas presented here are not intended in any way, shape or form to replace or impose medical or healing advice. Always consult with a knowledgable health professional, your trusted advocates, and your own inner wisdom, before undertaking or altering any treatments or therapies.