More Black Women Should Date Outside Of Their Race…

….According to Regina King’s blog on Vibe.com. Here’s an excerpt and my response:

Of all groups of people, Black women are the least likely group of women that will date outside of their race. When you have everyone else who is willing to explore but a Black woman is like, “I want me a brother,” well, if the brothers are out and they’re open to date everybody and the majority of Black women aren’t willing to look twice when a man outside of their race is sending them messages, then that makes our percentage rate lower and the chances of finding love, because we’re only looking in one specific place for finding love—with Black men.

I have about five Black friends who date outside of their race. But all the other friends of mine, it’s either they vocally say that they won’t or every time an opportunity comes up for them to date outside of their race, there’s some excuse why it’s not going to work.

Black women need to open up. A lot of Black women still carry a lot of pain when they see Black men with women who aren’t Black and that’s really unfortunate that that could make us so upset. It has to do with self esteem. With women on a whole, what a man thinks about us means so much to us. Does he think my hair is right? Does he think I look right? Does he think my ass is big enough? Does he think my titties are big enough?And 9 chances out of 10, most men don’t even give a f*ck. And the men that do that are really paying attention that hard to your ass or titties or exterior stuff, that’s probably not the best person for you anyway. One of my friends was asking me if I would set him up with one of my friends and I asked him, “What do you like in a woman?” And his first thing was “exotic.” I’m like, “What the hell does that mean? Read More

When I first came to Miami, I had dinner with friends who told me “Black men don’t date black women here”. At the time I didn’t feel any kind of way about what they said because I’m an equal opportunity dater. I don’t have a laundry list of wants like Chilli and although I do love black men, it’s definitely not a priority on my list.

I believe there is way too much unnecessary tension between black men and women nowadays and even more so between the “successful” black man and woman. He’s blaming her “anger and bitterness” on his decision to flock to other races while she’s blaming her “anger and bitterness” on years of dealing with his “infidelities & mistreatment”. Her thought process is “I can do bad by myself” but she’s not as open to date outside of her race as the black man is, so her chances that she will end up by herself are greater. Instead of tackling the issue at hand, black men (and some black women) are not only running to date other races, but they are also bad mouthing each other to other races. (i.e He says “Black women are too uptight & have attitudes”, She says “Black men are dogs, they’ll never be faithful and they are abusive”) It’s kind of sad if you think about it.

From the outside looking in, our culture is becoming a mess. The number of kids being raised in two-parent black households are decreasing by the day but I’m not sure how we will ever begin to fix this. …And I don’t know if 50,000 programs, blog entries, articles and television specials on “Why So Many Successful Black Women Have Never Been Married” is the solution either

Idk see the big deal about dating outside of your race, but my father had the nerve to tell me that if I ever brought home a man that wasn’t black we would disown me…. This was def a “WTF” moment in my eyes. Bc I think as long as the man treats me right why should it matter what race he is

I believe black love still exists as well. I have dated outside my race few times and found the same treatment. Many men are dogs, not just black men. I love a man that loves me, period. The issue with interracial dating is there are not many other races of men that will step to a black woman, only a small percentage will date black women.

I would totally date outside my race…maybe a latino, middle eastern, or south asian guy (Indian)…but I would never date a white man! I don’t think I would be able to connect with them on an emotional level. They couldn’t possibly understand the things that I as a Black woman faces…but anyway I am not ready to give on black guys…I have a feeling that eventually Black men will give up on dating the beckys and other races and see the beauty in their on women!

Your response is sad. You said that you ****
“have a feeling that eventually Black men will give up on dating the beckys and other races and see the beauty in their on women”
***

Black men are completely soiled as a race a men,not many are left that truly want to see the black family unit back together. That is the problem , black women NEED to give up on them and stop wasting years or months of our time pineing and whining about them not “loving us”. They don’t give a damn. The sooner black women WAKE up and learn this…the sooner we can move forward.

And I don’t know if 50,000 programs, blog entries, articles and television specials on “Why So Many Successful Black Women Have Never Been Married” is the solution…
^^Exactly! I am so tired of having this/hearing this never ending conversation.

I totally agree. I am happily married to a fine white guy & I love it. Alot of the black women at my job told me they would never even consider dating a white guy because they arent attracted to them or they think theyre “slimy”(pretty racist right?). Im tired of black women putting black men on a pedestal…obviously they dont look at US that way. Everythime I see a succesful black guy in the press, he’s usually got a whit girl or some kind of exotic chic on his side…2 can play that game!

First off the term “Black love” is something most people say OVER AND OVER and it’s such a stupid comment. Love is love PERIOD. Black love is a fantasy and its limited.

Most people don’t even know what love is let alone what “Black Love” means.

I have “Friends” not just all Black Friends or all any one race…. Friends.
People are people. It’s important to of course know who you are and to respect other cultures but this thing that Regina is talking about is silly and stupid.

I know Black men in Hollywood that date black women. What is she talking about?
People date who they want to date and there is no reason to feel bitter if a Black man wants to date any woman….if she’s black, white, asian….whatever. That is his right and Preference.

People get too caught up in race and other people’s preferences and that is when they get into trouble. Date who treats you well and who you have an interest in (don’t limit yourself).
Life is so much better when you are open to different experiences.

But also be cautious about why people are into you. I’ve had people tell me I like you because you’re “light skinned” and thin or for the texture of my hair and when I hear that they get the AX. I’m not here to fulfill your ideas of Beauty or your hang ups. And that people who ONLY date this or that tend to be people with ISSUES and you need to see the signs and dump them.

But again most people don’t limit themselves and those are the people I’m open to.

Race is not the issue. Mutual respect, Love, Commonality, Goals that is what makes someone a good catch not race.

i think shes keepin it 1-hunade.. its true black women should date outside there race.. as long as black men do it you will be limited in selection and choice.. black men are in the power seat do to this fact.. the fact that they can easily have so many black women who want them and don’t look at other races it makes it unaplealing.. but watch as soon as a bunch of black start the “dating outside my race” movement brothers go start lookin and complaining.. *reverse psychology*

I date whomever, whenever and where ever! But in certain areas it’s very true that blk men will not even look at blk women. When I lived in San Jose that was very much so the case. People ask me will i move back to cali and my answers is always if i am married or have a family. But when in cali I dated a Japanse guy … it was a little weird his friends couldnt understand but my friends adored him. We had the most fun together!!! So after all that I say do you… don’t block love because of race! xoxo

I agree with Regina King’s position on interracial dating. I myself am (black & spanish) and I don’t get why some black woman or men hate when black people date outside their race. Who is anyone to tell others who they should date? I have no preference and have dated outside my race and to be honest I have had better luck with men of other ethnicities. I will never rule out dating within my race, but I am also not going to settle for less, just to date within my race. I want to be with the person that is best for me, regardless of race. There are other qualities that are more important to me like finding a man that will be a great father and husband. Maybe for other people race is important and that’s okay too, but no one should ever be confined to only date within their race.

I say date who you want to date no matter what race, but I am currently dealing with something right now that is eating me up on the inside. I was with a black man for two years who didn’t date black women. I was his first black woman in 15 years. He said that he loved me because I was beautiful, intelligent and drama free. He is a successful guy but he never took me to his events to be around his co-workers (they were all white). Well I finally broke it off with him..but now he is dating a white woman and parading her around to events that he never took me too. She is ugly, manly looking and full of drama. She checks his emails and so forth.. Now mind you..drama is one of the main reasons he never dated black women, but yet every white woman he’s been with has been full of drama, checking him and any woman that he talks to.. So in my opinion, ALL women are prone to be full of drama.

But it is eating me up inside questioning why black men continue to treat us as if we are “less than” the white woman???

I am a big advocate for Black Luv but I must admit the best relationship I ever had was with a man from Ecuador. At this stage in my life I am open to finding love with whoever wants to love me whit, black, or Latin. Though I secretly yearn to be in a relationship with a Black MAN!

Without a doubt we should be OPEN to & WILING to date outside of our race!!!!!!!! I agree w/ Regina & Necole’ s commentary on this. I’ll be honest & admit that I haven’t always felt this way tho. There’s just something EXTRA SPECIAL & SEXY about a STRONG BLACK MAN!! When I say strong I’m not necessarily just talking about the physical either. There is nothing wrong w/ black being ur preference but we should definitely be open to it. I just started feeling this was about 3 yrs ago & have still not dated outside the black race but when the opportunity presents itself I won’t be opposed to it. Afterall that may be where my future husband approaching me. I never thought I’d be saying this but just like the times change, so does ur outlook on things 😉

What pisses me off is the badmouthing to other races! From the outside looking in, It perpetuates the idea that black people don’t and can’t love one another and are generally LESS THAN, otherwise why would we talk so bad about our OWN people!!! It’s like when one family member dogs the other in the streets, it makes everybody look bad! Kings and Queens people, KINGS and QUEENS!!!

Preach it, girl! I’ve dated outside of my race and the sad part is the looks I got from my own people. You definitely have to have tough skin. Be happy and go about your business. I can honestly say that even though it didn’t work out w/ my latin lover, his shoes were big to fill. He really treated me w/ respect and I always had a good time w/ him. We’re still friends.

Black people we are a LOST race. Do you hear other races discussion this.. Do you hear white women saying this. NO!! White men date more asians and latinas at a all time high now. But you’ll never hear it.. Wake the fuck up!!!

Black women shouldnt limit the dating range to only black men, explore and see what different men are all about. I have encountered/ dated plenty of white men who are willing to do anything for a black woman, and actually takes care of them more than alot of black men I know. We are so hung up on old mentality and not allowing chances to be taken.

I completely agree with you Necole – the question then become why is America so focus on this dating issue esp. when it comes to blacks? These things don’t happen that much outside of this country & it saddens me.

BLACK MEN ARE NOT LIMITING THEMSELVES TO ONLY BLACK WOMEN SO BLACK WOMEN SHOULDN’T LIMIT THEMSELVES EITHER. LIKE CHRIS ROCK SAID BLACK WOMEN HATE SEEING BLACK MEN WITH WHITE WOMEN, CAUSE BLACKMEN AINT AS PICKY. U WILL SEE A NICE LOOKING BLACK MAN WITH SOME OL RUNDOWN LOOKING WHITE BROAD. MOST BLACK WOMEN WILL ONLY DATE A NICE LOOKING PUT TOGETHER WHITE MAN. PERSONALLY IM NOT ATTRACTED TO WHITE MEN, I LIKE DARK SKIN MEN, BUT I CANT NEVER SAY I WOULD NEVER EVER DATE OUTSIDE MY RACE.

Unfortunately this goes back to our history….for black men weren’t even ALLOWED to look at a white women without being killed while our sisters were getting brutally raped by the white man….Fast forward to present day black men now feel like they’re on the “come up” when they have a white women or any other women other than the black woman…it’s a deep seeded mentality slavery that we as a people still have. Hence: we are STILL arguing over dark and ligh-skinned blacks….when at the end of the day we’re all the same just in different tones….and that should be celebrated but it is not, it’s used as a caste system, so to speak.

I for one is not against bi-racial dating/marriage because I feel love is color blind however my problem comes in when people ONLY look outside their race as if their race are infected with something (especially black men) I have never heard a white man say I don’t date white women cause they smell or I don’t like their attitudes…even if he may feel that way he would not publicly express that but black men have found ways to disrespect black women to justify their own securities and unfortunately some black women have looked at black men as good-for-nothing bastards, and show them no respect either. We just need to get it TOGETHER as a PEOPLE and I believe everything will fall into place (love, unity, famliy, communities) but until then we will always have these kind of discussions.

For the record, I do believe black women limit themselves by waiting for the “Ebony King” to come their way when they should be open to any KING that will treat them like a QUEEN.

@FURIOUS STYLES… I can definitely see what you are saying…but going to my university and interacting with the white guys at my school I just know that I would never want to be with one. Maybe my opinion is this because I go to school in Alabama and the people there are still behind… but I would just prefer a black man.

First of all, HE’s Fine ass hell! Secondly since when did we revert back to the bullshit from the 1930’s?? I feel like you should do (in every aspect) what feels good to you!! Later for the rest of that. People have lives to live! #nothingfurther

And I’m not saying change. I don’t think people have to date outside of their race if they are in a loving relationship with a Black Man. My point has always been fine a person who respects you and is about the things you’re about you can fine someone like that in any race.

My point is never limit yourself. But in that situation in the south I can hear you…..

But then again never let other people make choices for you if that is something you want to explore. But if you’re happy with Black men that is great.

Unlike Regina I think people should date who they want. If you like Black men you can always find a good one. Regina’s attitude is defeatist. She is very angry and she makes a lot of sweeping stereotypes. Like Black men in LA don’t date Black women. Nonsense.

I’m a black woman and I date every all types of men because love isn’t color. There are too many women that sit and complain about being single and the truth is they aren’t opened to different opportunities. Just like being too picky. There are many black women who will never date a white guy because they are afraid of what people think of them. I ask the question to those women, if there’s a black man with a white woman, he obviously doesn’t care about being judged, so why should you? Yes, I love black men too, but I know that if the person who I choose to marry and have children with, takes care of my heart, the race issue is out of the window. Never settle, and definitely don’t settle with a guy just because he’s the same race as you and you feel you have to hold on to him.

I feel as if i’m not being looked at with desire by any men other than black men. spanish men to me flock to spanish women. chinese to chinese…etc etc. I don’t think that I would have a problem dating outside of my race, if i felt like i was being loved like he would love someone his color. Love to me should be transparent. the only person you should be able to see is your partner.

I’m tired of this subject too. By and large, black men and black women still are marrying each other at larger rates than people outside of their race. And just because a black woman isn’t attracted to men of other races, doesn’t mean something is wrong with her, it’s just her preference, people are free to have them. Just like there are white men like Robert DeNiro and Chris Noth who prefer black women and white women like Kim K who seem to love the dark meat, and other white men who won’t dare look at someone who isn’t blue eyed and blonde. People have preferences of what they like. I’ve learned to not let that bother me either way.

End the end, I guess it depends on what you want out of life, to be married to just say you are, or to truly be in love with the one you with. Sure, probably alot more black women could be married to white/other men if they dated outside of the race, but would they truly be happy and with who they felt was their soul mate?

The one thing that really bugs me about black women who date white men though is they act like they don’t cheat. I work with nothing but white men and they have just as much mess going on as brothas, if not more, they are just better organized. LOL The only difference I have seen is that white men are trained to marry. And since it’s white folks doing most of the marrying, they are the ones responsible for our country’s high azz divorce rate. And now you are seeing a spike in a spike in white women choosing not to marry either. So again, to me sounds like everything isn’t perfect on the other side of teh fence as well. There are tons of issues over there too. #justsayin

I sooooooooooooooooo AGREE!!!!!!!!!! Most black men want a mixed blk woman or another race. Forget them. Go and find another race 2 LOVE you. It sad that most blk woman are unmarried and single mothers. It is really really sad. They will let that man get them pregnant but the man leaves and marries a becky. wth???

I think black women don’t date outside of their race because they are afraid of what people will think or how their families will react. I think its just insecurities. I started dating a white man, who I met in college, and everything is going well. As far as the staring went, black men, white men, and white women didn’t really seem to mind. Black women were the one’s that whispered negative things and gave dirty looks which I found funny because they’re always complainin about a nigga, but won’t look at other options. Black women or any woman shouldn’t limit themselves on finding love with one race. Explore your options.

To be honest, I’m open like the 7-Eleven when it comes to dating outside my race, because I’m looking for LOVE. BUT, there are some BM who do it for…unrealistic reasons that makes it seem shady. i.e. Black women are too this or that. That’s not realistic because you haven’t dated all black women and vice versa.

The funny thing is, I don’t get too many guys outside my race who are interested. I know they may not be as bold as some BM but they don’t seem to be interested. I often wonder how many other races are really checking for black women….

“I have to have a life, and that means dating the men that want to date me -Whoopi Goldberg

There is nothing wrong with dating outside of your race, I have dated a variety of men and when you open yourself to that, you will see that men are men. Just like a black man cheats so will an Asian, Indian ect. Whoever said that other races are scared to approach a black woman is correct. A lot of other races thrive off of the stereotype that black woman have attitudes or have drama. There is already a massive population of woman to men, take the black men out of that population who are in jail, gay, or not dating their own race it really doesn’t leave a lot to choose from. So you gotta get love how you get it, whether it be Caucasion, Asian, Indian, etc. As long as you are happy, and he knows your worth then really nothing else matters.

I’m open for dating/marrying outside my race, as well as dating/marrying within my race. I don’t have a color preference, I have a spirituality, values, morals preference. And I really didn’t get the sense that Regina is bitter from this article. I think she’s just encouraging black women to be more open-minded, because we’re the least to date outside our race. Nothing wrong with that.

I agree with regina on this : there is too much unnecessary tension between black men and women

and this isn’t just from relationships, this is from the everyday encounter we have between each other. this whole problem stems from the lack of support and respect in the black community. compare blacks to every other race, and you will see that we continue to move backwards, while everyone moves forward. Yes, we had things like slavery, which slowed down the advancement of black people, but other races were also punished for their race, religion, sexuality, etc. and they have moved on. how come we have not? we can’t keep blaming someone for something that happened in the past, we can only move on. another thing is that as blacks, we fail to support each other, we are always against each other. we have let the mentality of slavery but us against each other with the whole light skinned/ dark skinned debate. at the end of the day, we are the same, i.e. black. when you fill out an application, it doesn’t have a separate box for light skinned or dark skinned people, we are all categorized into on group which is african-americans. We need to start loving ourselves and stop allowing others to teach us our self worth. this is the exact same reason why blacks fail to advance, how can we advance when we can’t even come to an agreement between ourselves? stop letting the world define who we are, only we can know who we are. because of the constant conflict between men and women in the black community, how are we supposed to form meaningful relationships? if you can’t love yourself, how are you supposed to love someone else? if other races can maintain relationships within their own race, then why can’t we?

AND ANOTHER THING
I REALLY WISH BLACK MEN WOULD STOP SAYING BLACK WOMEN ARE FULL OF DRAMA. I WORK WITH NOTHING BUT WHITE WOMEN AND THEY KEEP UP DRAMA WITH THEIR MEN ALL THE TIME! I LISTEN TO THEIR STORIES ABOUT BUSTING OUT CAR WINDOWS, SLASHING TIRES, CHECKING PHONES, EMAILS, ETC. ONE WHITE CHICK EVEN GOT ARRESTED FOR TRYING TO RUN HER BF OFF THE ROAD! I DON’T KNOW WHY PEOPLE ACT LIKE BLACK WOMEN ARE THE ONLY ONES THAT DO THINGS LIKE THAT. CRAZY, PSYCHO, STALKING, DRAMA-FILLED WOMEN COME IN ALL RACES!

I agree with Regina. I don’t think she’s angry, she comes off forceful saying hi, it’s her way.

As for the topic, I could care less about the black men I don’t know. Who you date is no concern of mine. And whom I date is no concern of yours. I am not beholden to a black man, last time I checked, I was free and can do as I please.

I’m waiting for a great man to come along, race is not a criteria. Honor, decency, respect, dignity, integrity, character, trust, honesty, financial stability, common interests, intelligence, etc. trump your skin color any day of the week.

I’m a lot of things but a damn fool isn’t one. I would love to find a brother but if an Adam Rodriquez, Robin Thicke, Paul Walker, Jason Straham, Russell Wong, or a Benjamin Bratt come my way, I am not saying no.

I think Regina suffers from something a lot of people in this blog suffer from and that is “Bitter Black women Syndrome”.

My sense from Regina is that she has had a lot of bad experiences from dating black men and BECAUSE of that she is now exploring other options. I don’t feel like she wants to do that necessarily but is out of resentment and bitterness she “allowed” herself to explore new options. WRONG way to think.

I say that because if she really felt it was “ok” to date other races she would have done it long ago, she would not be so “offended” by who “some” Black males want to date and she would not be blogging about this like it’s some great revelation.

I, also agree with many that this is such a tired discussion.

I would never say Black men are horrible and NOW I’m looking at other options.
That is Crazy. I think a better response should be always be open to a good relationship.
Don’t do something out of anger or frustration from what the opposite sex is doing (or your perception of what some are doing).
There are many GREAT African American males out here. You just have to find the right one. I agree that that show Chili is on is also silly with all these things people check off before dating someone. I think a relationship should be more organic than that.

Just date people for the right reason. And she does not seem to be doing that.

I dont think its that black woman are against dating black men. I had a white bf in elementary school..thats it. All the other men that have approached me have been black. I have never witnessed any of my friends or family members get approached by white, spanish, asian, indian,…nothing but african american. We can be open to dating other races but if the mass of the races are seeing that our own dont “want” us, why the hell would they?

With that said, I dont think this topic is as serious as people are making to it be. In DC there are plenty single women/mothers of all nationalities and when they take a look at the facts and numbers people will realize we are not alone.

I AM MARRIED TO A WHITE MAN AND WHEN I SPAZZ OUT AND STUFF AND HAVE AN ATTITUDE HE STAY’S GROUNDED AND THATS WHAT I LOVED BOUT MY EX BF WHO WERE BROTHERS BUT THEY WAS JUST WANTING SEX FROM ME AND NOTHING MORE….HE CHERISH’S ME AND LOOKS AT THE FUTURE I CANT SAY THAT 4 THE BROTHERS THAT I HAVE DEALT W/ IN DA PAST BUT THERE ARE MAD GOOD BROTHERS OUT THERE AND I WILL NVR EVER BRING DOWN THE BROTHERS AND IM NOT BITTER EITHER B/C IT DDNT WORK W/ MY EX’S TRUST ME THESE DUDES WAS ALL ABOUT F!CKING :-/

Even I’m bored of this topic and I’m usually the first person to jump in. I will say that at this point – to my generation- it’s really not an issue to date someone who isn’t black. Its obnoxious to isolate yourself to one kind of mate. If you find someone that is willing to treat you right and make you happy wtf is the issue. Do you. But you have you heart set on marrying your strong, black man, you can spend the rest of forever trying to find one with the hard headed women in the world. I’ll be cozied with some white, hispanic/asian/native american or even black man that I come across.

what is black love though? love is pure. love is loving a person no matter what race they are. love is not about color. I agree,a subject like this is stupid and irrelevant. who cares who dates who, and what race they date. if they love one another, then so be it. but..interracial relationships do last if YOU and your significant other want to make it last, like just like any other relationship(dating the same race). relationships do not work because of color, it works because of the two people who are in it, and if they want to make it work or not.

Race should not matter. Both side should just want someone who is going to treat them with respect and like he/she wants to be taken care of. Got to get off this race/skin color shit. Looks can be deceiving. U will be surprised how u think a person is one race by there skin tone and they are the opposite. .

OMG the same tired subject. I have no problem getting white guys. I knew white men liked black women when I was in H.S. Even when I went off to college I noticed white men would always hit on me. It’s all about your environment. My friend only date white guys. She find men at the casinos, the mall, lunch time at resturants etc…..I am brown skin, my one friend is darker than me with a big butt and white men love her and my other friend who only date white men is dark. I am not trying to say white men like dark women but speaking from my experiences white men love dark women. Maybe light women too but idk. I said all to say white men have been hitting on me since I was about 14, hanging at the mall and they continue to do so.( My experience with white men)

So some people hate the term, “Black Love.” I love the term because we need more of it. Let’s face it, black people are some of the most self-loathing people on the planet. What’s wrong with black love. This whole “preference” nonsense is another way of saying COLORSTRUCK! People have preferences in meat, colors, hairstyles, etc., but in human beings, I would think a mature, rational person’s preference would be more skin deep than the color of the person’s skin. How does a certain race make for a wonderful mate? It’s purely ridiculous!

When I see happy, black couples, my heart celebrates them, and I don’t, and will not apologize for it.

Lisa, black love is more than race or color. Black love is a spiritual, deep connection between a black woman and black man. Black people have a very long history that transcends that of most people. Black love is unity and strength. I’ve seen it a lot, and it’s hard to describe, but when you see it, you’ll know it. How is a man of another race going to relate to you when you encounter a negative situation just because you are black. Black people quit acting like we are treated equality. Quit being in denial that we are not seen as equal, and we don’t even see ourselves as equals. If you have to ask what black love is, you’ve never seen it.

I always have dated whatever race of man I pleased. Do I get crazy looks from Black men? Hell Yeah. Do I care? Not at all. My reasoning is simple I hook up with men that approach me properly, that I find attractive, and that I feel we could add worth to each others life. So if he’s Black, White, Chaldean, Hispanic, etc. It doesn’t make a matter. Bottomline worry about what God thinks of your decisions and to left with everybody else!!!

I’ve never been the one to put a limit on who I’m open to date. When I was younger all I dated where white guys, italians, puerto ricans & Dominicans not many african american men even though I am an african american woman, they just didn’t seem as interested in me. But now I love me some chocolate but I still won’t throw shade or put a limit on who I would want to open my heart to. But this entry is soooo true black women are limited theirselves and we shouldn’t have to.

Black love is about the unity and strength of the black family and what we accomplish. We have more power than we think, but since we don’t stick together, we wouldn’t know that. I don’t expect that many in this generation have a sense of pride like those of old because you’ve grown up in a integrated society. Black history is not taught and there is no sense of pride like there was when I was growing up, so it doesn’t surprise me that most here would say, “color doesn’t matter.” There’s nothing like being with a black man (since I’m black) in which I can come home and share my experiences with him and he understand exactly where I’m coming from. Plus I want black babies. I know for many blacks, having mixed babies is something special and many take pride in having one, but I children who look like me.

WTH!!!…”Bitter Black woman Syndrome” Lol…whatever…it’s really not this serious and why are people so concerned about black women? Why aren’t these same issues applied to white women or white men, asian women etc…Why are we still discussing this?

The main reason they’re so many programs, blogs and reports on how unlikely it is for black women to get married is because like Regina King…more and more sistas (not in proportion with other groups) are dating and marrying outside of their race, especially, teen and twenty-something black girls because they have grown up in more diverse worlds, more of us attend school with them before college dating days and the internet has made race less of an issue and then the music/culture…black kids today don’t just listen to black music or artists, they’re more inclusive and one of the reason Obama is the President. White kids are checking their parents and grandparents on racism. The media doesn’t show how racism is now more prevalent with older generations and kids and young adults who aren’t exposed to diversity, poorer white americans. I have friends who are dating or some always have outside of black men. There’s no difference, they can get dogs too, get played and some are treated swell, but their dating pool is fuller. The media wants to ignore the fact that other men are checking for sistas, always have and is why we come in so many shades. Overall they look for top shelf sistas…latino men are dating and marrying sistas…like Regina stated, sistas ignore messages from other men. White men used to be more concerned about their family name and lineage. Wolfgang Puck, Robert Deniro, Princess Grace’s Son and others, the media don’t show them…they want white women to have the fullest pool to choose from, our professional men and celebrities, our top earners and most stable. Now sistas have to consider at least being open to love finding them however it may come!

@ furious styles, i dont get that about regina because form what i can gather she was asked a question and answered it , and i dont think she came off bitter, but i think she like many women have stated in this blog, has grown tired of this debate and perhaps she came off quite forceful. anyways i respect your opinion and agreed on most of the things you stated.

OHHH GOODNESS, I THOUGHT NECOLE YOU TOO WERE TIRED OF THIS SUBJECT. OBVIOUSLY NOT!!!!
WHO REALLY HANGS AROUND PEOPLE THAT BASH THEIR OWN RACE??? I HAVE HEARD WOMEN TALKIN SHEIT ABOUT MEN IN GENERAL BUT NOT SPECIFICALLY BLACK OR WHITE MEN.
WHO ON THIS FORUM THINKS THEY ARE AN EDUCATED PROFESSIONAL WHO HAS EXPERIENCE IN THIS FIELD, I HIGHLY DOUBT ANYONE IS HERE.

THOSE WHO KNOW PEOPLE KNOW WHO SPEAK ILL OF OUR BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE SHOULD BE CHECKED QUICK! WE SEE EVERYDAY ON THESE “REALITY SHOWS” WHITE WOMEN, ASIAN WOMEN, AND HISPANIC WOMEN HAVE JUST AS MUCH ATTITUDE AS ANY OTHER RACE. THOSE WHO ARE UPTIGHT PROBABLY JUST ARE. I KNOW MANY MEN WHO ARE TOO. MOST ASIAN AND WHITE WOMEN RUN THEIR MEN AND HOUSEHOLD SIMILIAR TO BLACK WOMEN! THEY DON’T PLAY!!!

LET’S NOT FORGET WE ALL WERE CREATED AS WOMEN AND MEN- WE REALLY ARE NOT THAT DIFFERENT- IT IS MAN WHO HAS MADE US NOT APPRECIATE EACH OTHERS DIFFERENCES.

THE ONLY THING WE ARE DOIN IS KEEPING THIS STIGMA ALIVE. THOSE WHO CANT KEEP A MAN OR ARE NOT DATING GOOD, RESPECTABLE MEN NEED TO CHECK THEMSELVES FIRST.

i think it has alot to do with our self image. Black women to exude the “I love myself” image at all compared to others. we cover what is great about overselve and wrap it in another ethnicity. If that were my style I would wonder if i were attractive to others. It seems that when I do see mixed couples with a black women she is usually her happy natural self.

Ain’t no people on earth more colorstruck that Hispanic people! They encourage their children to marry white people from an early age. They have a term for it called: mejorar la raza! Black women keep locking themselves into a box that black men fled a long time ago.

I love dating outside my race—Its a break from the norm and it really gives you a chance to learn about your partners cultures, differences, habits, traditions…etc. It’s interesting and fun. I see absolutely nothing wrong with dating outside your race. Besides, where is there a rule written that we should not.

The real question is, what do white women see in the black man? Most are dogs, cheaters, treat people badly, arrogant, only about themselves, unmotivated, usually uneducated. I have a lot of white female friends who are with black men, or, should I say, have CHILDREN with black men who are no where near the picture. They’ve all ended up the same. And it’s sad to say, but white men are NOT going to want these women after they have all these children with a black men. That’s a little secret within the white community – among white guys. And it seems it’s always the big white girls or “trashy” white girls who are with black men. I don’t mean to sound rude or disrespectful but this is just the way it is. Unfortunately. Black people KEEP racism alive. Who could possibly love a community or is so bitter, mean, angry? Killing people, robbing people, abandoning their children, living off the government, I’m sorry – but this is how it looks from a white point of view, from the outside looking in. I am aware I will get attacked in this blog, but don’t be naive.

I’ve never dated outside my race and never will. It’s about preference. And i prefer to date black men. I don’t want to “try” dating other races. If black men date outside their race good for them. Just because they do it does not mean i should. Some men also sleep with multiple women in the space of a week, does that mean i should sleep with multiple men too?.. Hell no. To me it boils down to preference and what a persons attracted to. I think Brad Pitt and Ethan Hawke are good looking, but I’m not attracted to them. The thought of having sexual intercourse with a man from another race doesn’t sit well with me. To each is own and i LOVE my black man.

1 Thing that i do find interesting is that black women are being highly criticized left and right by the media etc. It’s like some kind of ploy for us to “mix” and water down our race. Something seems a little off to me. People may date who they are attracted to. But i wont “try” dating other races. Just my opinion.

I dont want a YT man. I am NOT attracted to them. I want a black/brown family. If others want to date outside their race more power to them. DO YOU but that doesnt mean everybody else wants to do the same.I would date a cuban, PRican or Dominican but they are my cousins IMO so that doesnt really count to me *shrug* I am tried of this topic like dating outside ones race is the end all be all solutions *sighs*

I agree, for the most part, with Regina. But…I truly believe that black women are afraid to date outside of their race because of the “small d*ck” mentality– i.e., that only a black man is going to be able to rock their world like it’s supposed to be rocked– which is NOT true. I had 2 white boyfriends in my college years who tore it back better than a brother (not trying to sound whorish LOL). Not black man is packing a Mandingo! So IMO, that may be part of the reason why we are so hesitant about interracial dating.

I think black folks talk about interracial dating TOO FUCKING MUCH!! Enough already. Why is the black race so obsessed with ‘the swirl’? It’s beyond comprehension. Maybe it’s an insecurity thing or a post-traumatic-slavery disorder that makes interracial dating such a popular topic of discussion in the community. Who people choose to fuck, date, marry, or have children with shouldn’t concern anybody. Live and let live. If a person refuses to date outside their race, so be it. If a person chooses to date outside their race, so be it.

Not all Black men have a thing for white women. Some Black men I know wont touch a white girl with a 10 foot pole. Alot of you all are saying Black men do it we should too. What is this tit for tat? GTFOH.

And you’re right some people are color struck. I don’t get it. What’s the big deal. I just couldn’t date outside of my race. I’m not physically attracted to other races. Black men are so sexy to me and strong, they ooze sexiness and when i do have a child. It will most definitely be with my black man. I personally don’t think it’s right for black people to mix, but i have a old school way of thinking. One good thing about the “old school way of thinking” is you’re more grounded and centred as a person. I haven’t lost my morals and self-respect as I’ve seen many others have. And because in some people’s eyes were no longer in the “struggle” we must integrate and mix with other races. I’m sorry but racism is rampant now more than it’s ever been. People of other races use the internet as a platform to spew their racial hatred towards black people. They seek black forums and attack black people. I’m just not down with “mixing”. Just My opinion.

Men of other races don’t want black women. It is crazy how black can say black men don’t want black women when the majority of black men marry and date black women. But yet some claim that men of other races seek them out more then black men do. Tell me why all those women in those big name jobs are still single if men of other races want them? What black women try to do is make it seem like they are loyal to black men to make up for the lack of other race not asking them out. I

Black men don’t know the first thing about romance and how to make love. They like brutal jack hammer sex and think that tearing out a woman’s behind is good sex. Well, not for me. Black women should marry whomever they want the same way black men do.

Black men date whoever they want without apologizing for it. They are not sitting around waiting for us. Ladies stop sitting around waiting for them. If a man of another race shows interest go for it! You may have the time of your life. It’s only a date. Why sit at home on a Friday night waiting for black men to act right when the white guy (or whatever race he is) wants to take you out? Go have fun and experience different things. If nothing else you got out of the house lol. You may be exposed to something you didn’t even know you liked and find new interests. I think it also helps you to become a more well rounded person if you try new things. Then maybe you might be even more appealing to that black guy that you’re holding out for. Just a thought.

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There are people who would rather see black women alone and unhappy than happy and successful, but in the end they will lose because black women are learning to think and be more independent concerning their lives and how they choose to live it. Black men do so should we.

I have seen all but 2 states in the U.S.A. Sadly there is hardly anything but white trash and the sell outs that love them as far as the eye can see. When you do see a successful black couple it seems odd, it’s just that rare. When, how and why has disrespect for black women become the rule? I fully understand why we are hated on so hard by white women. They clearly want to be us…tanning, lip injections, butt pads or implants. However why black men have so much hate for us I can’t understand. When you came from a black woman and were raised by a black woman how can you hate a black women without hating yourself in the process?

Also why do black women act like they are perfect? If a black man dates women of another race he is a sell out and don’t like black women. But black women do the same thing it because they are expanding their options. I am sick of the bull shit in how black women can have any problem they want with black men and it is cool. But the second black men have issues with black women we are wrong and it not all of us. You ever notice how when a black woman dates a white man she basically calls it an upgrade.

I can honestly admit that I wasnt open to dating under men until a few yrs ago….I never t hought someone else could understand or appreciate running their fingers through my hair and making a joke about the kitchen growing on the back of my neck. I was afraid of what “it” (you know) looks like……So many simple things

Truth be told I still love my black man…but I appreciate all men now…all it took was one chance with someone else….I love’em all …its like having a bag of skittles and enjoying the flavor of each one…… that’s me.

What is sad about us dating outside of our race though is that a lot of men and women that I encountered and asked about interracial relationships do it for all the wrong reasons…(steroptyipcal reasons) Not all black men are well endowed, not all black women have attitudes, not all white girls give he@? immediatly, not all white men have good credit, and not all mexicans no how to build things
YOu cant say a black woman/man does this and gets you no where ..when you take a different approach with someone outside your race.. A queen is a queen is a queen and should be treat as such no matter what color she is…..same for a king(u just might get different results witha bw or bm if you applied the same effort as you do with different races)

……. I think we should be open to dating a little more…(ooh but there is something about the way a black man smells when he sweats j/k lol) I agree completely…. I also think we need to see each (black men/women) in a more positive light …Essentially, if your having a lot of bad experiences with a log of people than its not the person/persons its something about you and something about your judgement….

FYI: black women there are other men checking for us but i can understand if your hestitant and choose something with brown hue..(jk) no for real

Im not racist at all, but im one of them brothers that does agree with dating within my race, i cant date outside my race, i dnt kno if its a mind thing, or just the way i was raised. I believe black woman should only date black men. and black men should date black woman.But i do agree that us brothers should stop just having b.m.’s and start have wives. We need to treat our kind like another race would treat them. That’s the main reason why i think black woman decide to date out of race, because they feel as if they will recieve more love, respect, and appreciation. THAT IS NOT ALWAYS TRUE.

I for one is for dating out my race, because at one point in time I had the dream of being married to a black and have that Cosby Show family and now that dream to me will never happen because it just not that many black men that are out there. This may be wrong but you have some black men who only wants white women, you have other that are gay, then you have those who wants to just live off you, and then you have those that you really don’t connect with and they sometime cheats. SO TELL WHAT IS LEFT??????? The really good one they are married!!! SO be a single black woman, sometime we have to face, if we chose to only date black men, we have a great chance of being single and never married and not having child. I have accepted that choice. But at the sametime I still keep hope alive!!!!

“The number of kids being raised in two-parent black households are decreasing by the day but I’m not sure how we will ever begin to fix this… I don’t know if 50,000 programs, blog entries, articles and television specials on “Why So Many Successful Black Women Have Never Been Married” is the solution either”

This is some mess drummed up by the lying as* media. There are MORE black men with black women than there are with other races. But the media always highlights the small percentage and makes it to be bigger than what it is. This is the same as the “gay” movement in my opinion. Black women are under scrutiny, why? Let us do our thing and you get on and do yours. It’s like were being studied and tested like lab rats. Smh! Why would i want to dilute my race? And Hollywood is different to the real world, so how these celebs conduct their everyday lives to us normal folk is very different. In Hollywood ALOT of black celebs are color struck. And it shows in things like music videos and photo shoots.

This topic and the other “50,000 blog entries, articles, books, radio & T.V. programs” is like an unbearable, nagging woman… the man finally can’t suffer it any longer, so he packs his shyt and moves out, to avoid rearranging her face (especially the MOUTH area).

My best advice to men is to let these drama-filled, rebellious b*tches keep playing ‘musical chairs’ with any color cocks they want, until they finally retire into single motherhood or menopause. By that time, all the men who they sampled and couldn’t/wouldn’t get along with, will be playing ‘musical chairs’ with their daughters…. while some of the mothers will be licking the herpes from each other’s vagina. (Oh, wait !, I think that’s already happening.)

‘No wonder so many Blk men avoid marriage or haul azz at the first good opportunity. *SMH*

Most black women are full of shit I use to fall for the trick that they are loyal to us and don’t want any other race of men but it is bull shit. I mean the second a black woman that is famous get a white man they have a damn party.

What is up with the need to bash and disrespect black women? “most black women are full of shit”, really? Because you know most black women, right? SMH…but black women are “angry and bitter”! Yeah, ok!

SINGLE BLACK WOMEN: ADMIRE THEM AND LEAVE THEM ALONE:
“young black women in America- many of whom have been grossly labeled in the vile underbelly of Hip Hop culture with street monikers- bitches, ho’s and baby mamas- are displaying a gutsy propensity in 2010 to succeed in life on their own terms, and this has the chattering classes truly abuzz because these women are succeeding without the benefit of marriage to a stable, faithful, loving black men…”
AND WE WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO IN SPITE OF THE NAYSAYERS AND THE HATERS!
BLACK WOMEN LIVE YOUR LIVES TO THE BEST OF YOUR ABILITY WITH THE PERSON YOU CHOOSE TO LOVE AND MAKE YOU HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love, is love, is love. Date who you want, it’s your decision. I personally don’t get offended when I see brothers with women who aren’t Black. That may just be that man’s preference. I just can’t stand when some of those same brothers say they’re with women who aren’t Black because ALL Black women are (fill in negative stereotype here). That hurts me personally because I feel our men should uplift us with their words and actions, not put us down… and vice versa. But anyway, to each his own. As for me, there is no one that compares to a GOOD Black man!

Dating outside of your race is not that hard or dramatic ladies. I’ve done it a few times and I was treated good…. a little too good though. I had a couple of push overs hehehe. But it won’t kill you so try it out. And be aware that the haters will stare. fyi
But I’m happy with my chocolate drop now 😛
@Tone
I’ve never approached a man…but I kinda see your point though. If men of other races aren’t approaching them then it does make it a bit harder I guess. Interesting…..

I’ll tell you 1 thing…men of other races are don’t always wanna approach a black woman b/c they feel she’s gonna reject them b/c of their race and that she probably obly dates black guys…so ladies if you like someone, approach him…don’t wait for a guy to approach you…it’s 2010! I approached by bf 4 years ago and we still together and we aint of the same race

The problem with black people is that we idealize white people so much while disparaging ourselves. We call our hair “nappy” and encourage our women to straighten it out like white people, while we say people that have straight her like white people have “good hair”. We make fun of people with darker skin while idealizing those who have bright skin. Look in music videos, how many dark girls do you see in them? Why are black people so despised in America? We hate ourselves. I see comments talking about how black men are uneducated and lazy and black women are bitter, that’s just not true. You can’t generalize about an entire race of people. Since slavery white America has tried to divide us and make us hate each other while putting them on a pedestal, looking at these comments it seems like they accomplished their goals.

Regina King. Woman I thought the world of you for the longest. But your personality just ruined it for me. Str8 ruined it. I would have died (sarcasm) for you, cause of the way you looked in Enemy Of The State. Stunning. But all you have is beauty it seems.

Didn’t she just come out of a divorce with a Black Man? A semi rocky one if I’m not mistaken. And she goes to a Spanish kid. Which is fine. But how come her happiness has to sh*t all over the rest of the black men. Now your telling black women that black men aren’t the answer because your love failed? How about your husband was fail? Why lump us all in that pot.

Jennifer Aniston lost her husband to Angelina Jolie. But People Mag and the rest of those predominately white mags and blogs, weren’t talking about Jennifer, go find you a black man, he wont do you like Brad did. Nah. They told her to go find a MAN, keyword, MAN who loves you for you. They weren’t telling her white men aint sh*t and she needs to find someone outside the race. Never even came up. And look at her dating history. Shes moving right along.

Why cant black women do that? Your no good ass man sours you on every other black man! Now all of a sudden you cant find love because your love died with that ONE dude. When did your failure become the representative for ALL Black Men?

If your dating outside your race because Black Men are, then you fail. If your really looking for love, you’d be dating who you wanted in the first place. Your not obligated to be with Black Men and Vice Versa. Then if you do, your putting your hopes and dreams on a Man who isn’t Black, not only be better than Black Men at everything you want, but to also be a rep for his entire race too. So your just subjecting them the exact same way you do black men. Coincidence, I think not.

Then you ladies have the nerve to say it aint that many black men out here. How many more excuses your going to make for your own shortcomings? Cant find the man that you want? Then whos fault is that. Or better yet, cant keep the man that you want?

Then there is how you put black men down for dating outside their race. Rejoice in them picking the woman, and talk about how thats what he gets for not marrying a Black Man. But none of you were saying that about Fancy, when she blasted her husband for cheating. You were all supporting Fancy. But a black dude dont get that support when he dates a white woman.

Hypocrisy is the downfall of your happiness. The sooner you realize it, the better you will be.

Look this is nothing but more hollywierd brainwashing. No hafer no black woman should be dating or even consider such evil acts against their culture or race. Never become a pawn in these demons schemes black women. Because crackers have always been trying to ruin Gods chosen people. Why would I ever as a black woman consider such self hatred acts. Because a bunch of self loser’s as black men are falling for every detestable act that goes against God and his righteous order. But hell is widen it’s door daily. So people don’t be a pawn in satan’s game. This is not up for debate. God gave every man his own kind and that includes black men for their Queen’s Black Women. No to all self hatred destruction to my race and culture.

wth??? “White and Spanish men ain’t checking for Black women” LIES!!!! lmao. Are you kidding me? Nasty corporate White men flirt with me in front of my husband. Those bastards don’t give a damn! And I’m not even going to get started on Hispanic men. smh. Love doesn’t have a color and people need to stop limiting themselves. Black men don’t get mad if you see a sister date outside of her race. And Black women need to stop blaming everything on light skinned women, White women, or whoever the heck else that Black men chose to date. They aren’t dating you so why are you mad? Stop generalizing and blaming a whole group of people for your own failed relationships.

Why are people complaining about how much this subject is talked about. If you’re not interested in the topic, change the channel, don’t real the article, or change the dial. I’m not complaining about people talking too much about global warming (just an example) I just change the dial and look for something I’m interested in. I think people just like to complain. With 100+ comments already, I guess some people are not tired of talking about it. And is someone seriously on here calling people crackers?? Ok, that was my cue to leave this topic on this site… geez.

@BlackNBeautiful I meant to add that in my commentary as well because you are 100% correct about that. The media does play a role in this as well. They are more willing to highlight an interracial couple (esp black man with a white woman) than they are a black couple. Most recently in the news, they’ve highlighted the black man who’s done his non-black wife wrong (tiger, tiki barber) but if those women were black, they wouldn’t have made it such a big deal or they would have said it was the black wife’s fault that he dipped out. It’s truly sad ..

When I was in high school I noticed that when they did show the wives of athletes like Kobe, etc they were always non-black but they hid the fact that majority of the men in the league were with black women. The media chose to highlight those who weren’t.

Date who you want. What I don’t get is when people say “If I’m dating outside my race, he/she has got to be FINE.” What happened to looking for deeper things no matter what the color? I know people who have said that about my sister’s choice of husband not being as cute as they’d like if they were dating outside their race. Meanwhile those people are stuck on stupid (and are alone!) because they are focused on the wrong things and my sister has a man that she can relate to on multiple levels.

This shit is sooooo fucking tired DATE WHOEVER THE HELL YOU WANT no matter what ethnicity race whatever who cares maybe it’s because of the way I was brought up but the last time I checked when we all get cut we bleed blood. Your color is something external and shouldn’t encompass your overall character. Even though I’m American born Latina and proud I’ve never in my lifeeee seen such a country that made a big deal over race when you go across the pond or to the islands (can’t say much for South America except for Brazil ) that made such a big deal about the color of your skin first Jill Scott crying because black guys don’t date their own now Regina even though I love her……is Ebony Magazine running out of concepts or fresh ideas for what these women write essays about …….GET OVER IT….DIFF STROKES FOR DIFF FOLKS

WELL I AM VERY SICK AND TIRED OF THESE PEOPLE(MEDIA)/WHITE PEOPLE TRYING TO PUMP IN OUR MINDS(BLACK WOMEN) THAT OUR MEN DONT WANT US.

FIRST OF ALL, I LOOOOOVE ME A BLACK MAN. UNEMPLOYED, OR EMPLOYED, RICH OR POOR, UNEDUCATED OR EDUCATED….. I LOVE THEM ALL.

I WANT NOTHING MORE THAN A “BLACK MAN” TO RAISE MY CHILDREN AND MOSTLY MY SONS TO BECOME AS STRONG AS THEY ARE. I DO NOT THINK THAT ALL BLACK MEN WANT TO DATE OUTSIDE THEIR RACE. AND I ONLY KNOW ONE MAN THAT IS IN MY GENERATION THAT HAS DATED A WHITE GIRL (IT DIDNT LAST LONG THOUGH)… AND I WAS LIKE WHATEVER.

BUT TO SAY THAT BLACK WOMEN SHOULD DATE OUTSIDE THEIR RACE, THEY ARE STUPID!

I DONT NEED TO DO SHIT!!! GOT THAT????

I WILL DATE BLACK MEN, WILL MARRY ONE, AND WILL HAVE CHILDREN BY A BLACK MAN.

I DONT LIKE THAT COLOR-STRUCK, RACIST COMMENTS THAT SOME BLACK MEN MAKE LIKE “LIGHT-SKIN GIRLS LOOK BETTER” BUT AS LONG AS THEY ARE BLACK THEY COULD BE LIGHTER THAN A STICK OF BUTTER, THAT BITCH IS STILL BLACK!!! SO HEY!

I AM A CARAMEL SKINNED CHICK, AND LOOKING FOR A LIFETIME PARTNER! AND I AM HAPPY ABOUT MY COLOR, WOULDN’T WANT IT ANYOTHER WAY. BLACK MEN HOLLA AT ME!!!

black women are the cause to all the black man issues
1. money hungry speaking from experience
2. hoe’s – yeh there are some good but 90% aint so i could say that
3. child support – i actually had women who tried to trick me in to child support i had to leave the country so she could have an abortion. i also know alot of dudes who took care of they kids and was still put on child support because she think shell get a bigger check but in return that puts all those dudes in a hole every month they never be able climb out to provide something better.
4. she rather the slick talking no job having ass nigga on the corner who would tell her any thing to sleep with her than the dude who just would keep it real and is on some positive ish but her mind only processes at 1mb per hour so she would never see the bigger picture.
5. black women have no values.
6. they all love obama and have no idea of politics or anything in the world that surrounds them.
7. she judge a mans wealth by his clothes and cell phone rather than trying to take a peek at his bank account trust me the guy who tries to look like he has money is dead broke.
8. ps theres more but g2g got work to do

i am a blk man and dated one black woman she was good and had no issues i actually left her because of long distance rela… but i usually date foreign girls from the middle east, caribbean and asia who understand a woman’s position from the begining of time is to be house wifey in the sense of you should know how to cook and clean but we could split it 50/50

WHY ARE THE BLACK MEN ON THIS POST BEING SO NEGATIVE? WTF? WHERE IS ALL OF THE ANIMOSITY COMING FROM? DO ANY OF YOU GUYS HAVE ANYTHING POSITIVE TO SAY ABOUT BLACK WOMEN??? AND I DON’T MEAN ANYTHING PERTAINING TO OUR PHYSICAL BEAUTY (NOTHING ABOUT OUR BODY PARTS OR ANY OF THAT).

yall keep it up… our RACE will be EXTINCT!!!! all other races look out for eachother…. even black women amongst eachother dont try to get along or look out for eachother…crabs in a barrell syndrome…… we have come from being the minority to making ourselves that way. SICKENING AS FCUK

@ LIKA
1)YOU HAVE NOT MET 90% OF BLACK WOMEN SO KILL THAT NOISE.
2)FOREIGN WOMEN CAN HAVE YOU BECAUSE FROM WHAT I JUST READ WE ARE BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOU.
3)CHILD SUPPORT IS NOT AN OPTION. IF YOU ARE MAN ENOUGH TO MAKE A CHILD YOU SHOULD BE MAN ENOUGH TO TAKE CARE OF IT.
SMH @THE IGNORANCE.

@Tone I am not asking any man out regardless of color. I am an old school southern belle with morals and values. I agreed w/some of your points but I felt you threw a little shade as well but its all good. I love my black men and support them whenever I can. I don’t male bash and sterotype because I don’t know every black man.

@NB I agree the media is a trip and all these articles, stories, books etc about single black women just away for somebody to keep making money and keeping the DRAMA going SMH

I think the media blows this whole thing out of proportion as they do with most things that have to do with black people.

I think we should be realistic. If you want to get married and have kids and you are not finding the type of person you usually like to date, why not try something different? I love black love. I do and I am married to a wonderful black man but I don’t think it’s fair for me to tell my single friends to hold out on trying something different.

I personally don’t care what color you are. There’s beauty in all shades. And it’s funny that a lot of black women say “oh black men are only dating LSLH (light skinned, long hair) chicks” . Well not to go tit-for-tat but a lot of these same black women will only date a specific type of “black” man, i.e. light skinned, or rough necks. SO it’s the %98 of darker skinned, nice guys that end up settling outside of their race with a woman who appreciates them as well.

smh @ these bitter black dudes in here talking about white,hispanic, & asian men aren’t checking for black women WHO LIED TO YALL?? lol non-black men love them some black women…I have gotten hit on by too many of them….black women regina king is 100% right it’s time to date outside our race love is love period. black men go out their way dating white women (non-black women) without giving a care in the world…so why should you? sistas it’s time to wake up & explore your MANY!!! options.

smh @ these bitter black dudes in here talking about white,hispanic, & asian men aren’t checking for black women WHO LIED TO YALL?? lol non-black men love them some black women…I have gotten hit on by too many of them….black women regina king is 100% right it’s time to date outside our race love is love period. black men go out their way dating white women (non-black women) without giving a care in the world…so why should you? sistas it’s time to wake up & explore your MANY!!! options.

and to smh black women are single black mothers well – go be a strong black woman by your self bitch and go shake your ass at the club every weekend at get the dude with the biggest chain or nices shoe

What is with the verbal abuse and nastiness? How can you have a reasonable debate with this kind of rudeness and disrespect being spewed? There’s nothing to refute, can’t reason or rationalize with the irrational.

@ Necole it is sad. It’s a shame that the only time black people get any mention in the media is for negative things. Or their lying as* statistics. But when black people do positive things it gets little to no recognition.

Relax ppl she’s not saying that black women should no longer date black men she’s just saying that black men should not be the end all and be all of it when it comes to dating and I completely agree. It’s estimated that in almost 75% of all interracial marriages the husband is black and that is extremely telling. Black men are looking else where why wouldn’t we??? All I’m sayin is ladies do not sit around waiting for a brotha to put a ring on it and potentially miss the opportunity to be loved by someone else. Be open minded and find love where ever you may regardless of race, creed or gender even if that’s your thing.

Reality Check… what is the debate? What is the argument? I don’t get it yet.

“SOME” men ain’t shit. not all of them.
“SOME” men of different races like black women.

Generalizing statements are stupid.
But…. you are what you attract. “Aint shit niggas” dont talk to me nor try and date me. And since I dont date outside my race, every ex boyfriend I have had was a great person, very respectful, caring and loved me dearly.
I think Im looking for SPARK, not just any ol’ man.

Last thing i am going to say about this black women been talking like this for well over 15 years . and yet nothing has changed for them when it comes to interracial dating. I wish black women would promote black women more. I mean i see amber rose on so many black sites and she is a white woman or mixed woman. So how can you think any man is going to want a black woman when they are not being promoted to the world?

LMAO stop being indirect….yes…WTF? and BLACK MEN ARE BITTER are the same person (ME) I was just stating the obvious, the facts, that BLACK MEN ARE INDEED BITTER!!!! haha! and who said black men aint shit? not me I said yall was bitter & what makes you think someone (I) have a baby daddy? ummm no can we say stereotype? smh STOP PROVING MY POINT!!! lame ass…lol

ah ok! lol. Carry on then though I don’t think you’re going to find anyone who will do it. I find that the people who are the most passionate (ie CAPS!) are not really trying to have an objective conversation.

I even got the nibble I was looking for. Then I scrolled down and read you last comment. You just took the fun outta it for me lol. I guess I cant respond now. Dang. I hate it when you make all those good points. Dang woman.

@ Tish
“Checkin for” is one of those common sence terms and if that went over your head then maybe you need to go on over to radar or tmz because those might be more your speed. As for your comment about white men not wanting to marry a black woman, please….. I have aunts, cousins and friend that have respectful, caring, nice looking rich white husbands. While I know there are white men interested in the ‘slavemaster’ fantasy most are not. I could pick a random white guy out of the crowd and have him asking to marry me in no time flat. I’m 100% against dating outside your race for one reason. The CHILDREN have no clue who they are. How can a non-black parent prepare a black child for this world? “Oh honey, you’re not black you’re bi-racial and it doesn’t matter what color your skin is, all that matters is what’s on the inside.” LOL that sort of advice will be real helpful the first time they get called a nigga or when they are getting beat by the police, being turned down for a loan, and being followed around a store.

@Necole, And the media seemed to find it “funny” that Tigers wife hit him. If it had been the other way around, or he hit her back in self defence. They would’ve painted the picture of him being the big bad black man, attacking a poor defenseless Caucasian woman.

Someone like Ice Cube does positive things in the community and gets absolutely no recognition. I don’t hear anything about the good things he’s done. His good work doesn’t get a mention. If he was doing something wrong the media would be all over his as*.

I can’t believe Regina Hall is saying this. I never would have expected this from her. I see where she’s coming from. But i don’t agree with her uplifting men of other races, and down playing men of her own race. It’s not good to label a race or group of people as being the same. Not every black man is bad it’s ludicrous to think they are. For every so called bad black man out there, there are good ones also.

@Reality Check
hmmm. maybe. we have had our discussions in the past. I see that now you only comment on these kinds of topics though. lol

@Elle
Yes. Some women do attract *ssholes. And it doesn’t matter what race they are. Women have to know what kind of man they want and attract that type of man. In addition, she also has to hold up her end of the bargain and be a woman that’s actually worth being in a serious relationship with. I don’t think that race has anything to do with this. It’s more about personal issues and personality flaws that make some people undateable.

And who are these women that think that other races don’t “want” Black women? Black women need to have more confidence in themselves. smh. And stop generalizing just because a man of a different race has never approached YOU.

But how come you get upset about the stament white men are not cheking for black women. But be ok with someone saying the samething about black men not wanting to date black women? No one is saying some white men date and marry black women. But most white dudes are not looking at black women like that.

… I wanted to read through all the comments but quickly gave up – sorry if this question is repetitive-
so who is the Regina King dating these days? Is it the guy above? I’ve seen him on tv at some point, who is he?
Thanks Ms. Bitchie! Love the blog

WOW…at some of these stereotypical and generalizing comments made by some readers…SMH with that kind of attitude no wonder we don’t get ahead

I BLAME THE MEDIA! People please DON’T believe the HYPE. The majority of black men are still with Black women. Interracial dating/marriage is still in the lower percentage while intraracial dating/marriage is still the lead AMONG any race! I don’t know where people are getting these stats from stating otherwise…blank stares….Like someone says, the media is to blame because A) we keep feeding into this bullcrap that a black woman can’t get a black man or no man so the media is playing off of it and B) the media likes to see us as underdogs especially black women. and FYI…their is a difference between not getting married and being single! Marriage across the board is down for all races
~MEN are MEN and women are women, love comes in all shapes, sizes and colors just find someone who treats you right and expand your options and go into love for the right reasons. If you are using an excuse to date someone outside your race such as…black men are this or black women are that…then your doing it for the wrong reasons. Dating outside my race has never been a problem because I grew up around diversity and never felt their was a problem dating someone different than me but of course my mom is still on the bent of don’t bring a white guy home, i think it is just a generation thing. At the end of the day you can’t help but like what you like and fall in love, everybody has a preference some people want to date/marry others who look like them and others want to explore. Their is nothing wrong with either!

Please, let get off this tip of black women and their love life, stop worrying about other women and focus on you! Damn….this topic makes me want to ram my head against the wall, it is not that serious

so, I found out (through a quick google search of my own) that the guy is Nicholas Gonzalez) what I can’t find is if they are still dating… which I keep seeing none of, she’s dating Malcolm Jamal Warner (they also make a cute couple) – if you have time could you please confirm?
THANKS

@ Toneblak
I’m not upset either way. You are right! MOST white men don’t date and marry black women but it’s because they want to preserve the white bloodline. On the other hand when a black man won’t date inside of his race his many excuses are….Black women are golddiggers, hoes, mean, uptight. But then they turn around and pick up the scum of the earth, a white woman the white man wouldn’t be catch dead with. Then has the nerve to act like he hit the jackpot walking around in public with those sloppy bad-built Beckys. The truth of the matter is that Black women have always been and will always be Queens. A weak man can’t handle a Queen only a King can. So in a way I’d like to thank all the white trash that weed out the weaklings. Thank you, thank you very much.

@Alexis I agree with u on staying positive towards each other as women and as black people that needs to happen

I’m really tired of this topic….I just got into to crazy and I mean crazy debate with a brother at tagged.com ….yea nigga I should blast his tag name and all the crazy stuff he said….lol but like I told him i’m sick of the stereotypes, lies and excuses! come with something new cause black men are not treating any group of women any better than they would treat us. They are not raising thier kids with Becky just like they’re not with Shonda. Look at their image in the media and some how it all comes back to US! stop!

I do think some black women should open up to dating other men….trust me …. can’t nothing be worst than dating a tired negro….did i just do what I said we should stop…lol ….. I’ve had the best experiences with men who did not look like me or come from the same background as me….that’s the honest truth ..I think for me a lot of times I was expecting things to go bad because of past experiences with u know who….lol did it again.

U over there in America love this topic don’t u all?? Geesh if u can’t get a black man good enough to ur standards then date whoever the hell u want to. I’m beginning to wonder what colour is American love bcs apparently for people from other parts of the world love got not colour or ethnicity. I’ve never dated any other race, even though i love me some big strong black d**k but if love comes across to me in other shape or colour i wouldn’t reject it, see am selfish so all i need is my happyness the rest don’t matter…why is this worth discussing everyone should know wat they want by now not!!?? . Black women know u r beautiful and above the white man/hollyweird standards of beauty, i love my black people of any shades…now lets move on from this topic pls *yawn*

How is a black an going to see the beauty in a black woman when black women arent even black anymore? You got images being projected 24/7 that says black is ugly! Look at all the celebs these men are looking to who have bleached their skin, slimmed out the nose, only wear EUROPEAN weaves, nothing about them is black. Have you looked on and dating sites lately….its funny all the white men, asian en, latino SPECIFY NO BLACK WOMEN! They are all looking for what has been projected to them PARIS, KIM K, BEYONCE (who gets lighter and lighter)If you brown or dark brown you anit getting no love from nobody! Its brown girls PRETTIER THAN all the names i listed above but no one can see past color, and some of the ugliest white women, latino, asian, & mixed they call cute. Talk about confused..things will never change as long as we are a TV driven society, when the last time you seen a black woman on a billboard OUTSIDE THE HOOD!

Youre full of it. Its really strange how you hold white women up to such high standards when they are dealing with black men. A black man could be walking around with a enormous doo doo mama from the projects with a bad weave and you wouldnt say anything about how broke down some of these black women are who are with black women but if a white woman doesnt look like Jennifer Aniston than she has to be busted.

No. Black women arent Queens. I dont know much about Historical Monarchies but I doubt Queens back in the day or even today had 70% of their child born out of wedlock with different baby daddies, stank attitudes, and high rates of STDs running around after Pookie and the gang. Queens dont go on TV crying about not being able to find a man.

Black women will be Queens when they start acting like it.

And let the record show, those white women who you have so much to say about can go anywhere in the world and be considered of high status simply because she is a white woman. Not that I agree with it but it is what it is.

@ME
Youre confused. It isnt that some women attract assholes. Its that some women are ATTRACTED to assholes. Huge difference. Then when they are all run down and bitter they looking for the nice guys who they told throughout their whole lives, “Youre too nice, youre like a brothers to me.” LOL. Its so sad.

Youre exceptions does not a trend make. For the record typically when a women period marries she marries up. Especially if she is marrying inter racially she marries someone above her status. That isnt true with black women. SHe is more like to marry someone who makes less and is less educated than she is unlike her white, Asian, Latina counterpart.

WIth regard to parents not providing their children a sense of self. If I remember correctly those children are biracial though if they are black they are more likely to identity with black simply because they look black. That guy from PRison break is biracial but looks totally white. Ditto, Dwayne the rock Johnson.

In any event considering the way some of the black kids are running around, typically the children of single black mothers, I said they were doing a worse job of raising their all black children than a white man or a white woman would of her black children provided they were married. In fact there should be a moratorium on black women having children sense the record has shown that she aint too good at it.

lol wow just wow @ these comments.
Where are you black men finding your women? Bad weaves and multiple baby daddies? Really? That says more about you if those are the kind of women in your vicinity. I don’t have a weave, don’t have any baby daddies, no STD’s, or any of the other stereotypes I’m seeing here on this site. I believe it’s all about how you approach a woman. If you black men are approaching black women the way you speak to us on this site then of course you’re going to get “attitude” and if you go to the white (or other non-black women) treating them with respect and like Queens then they will respond accordingly. How about you try seeing a woman as an individual and not assume she is a certain way just because of her skin color? Stop making other black women pay the price for the few bad apples in the bunch.

Don’t short change yourself for nobody. If a man can love the pure essence of you as a person, I believe it no longer matters what his race is. I have known woman who dated men outside of the Black race and they say their partners constantly affirms how beautiful they are and how sexy their brown complexion is. One girl told me her Native American husband used to love her tan from the beach because it gave her just a beautiful glow.

*stands and applauds* E X A C T L Y. WE R LIVING IN THE MOST DEPRESSING STATE AS FAR AS BLK ON BLK LOVE. TOO MANY BASTARDS BEIN BORN. NOT ENOUGH (POSITIVE) FATHER FIGURES. AS LONG AS WE GOT COONS LIKE LIL WAYNE RUNNIN AROUND ENCOURAGING THE SELF HATRED WIT BLK WOMEN N FUKN EVRYTHING IN SIGHT..WE R DOOMED.

it is soo true. We do bad mouth each other to other races, but that is because we have been brained washed by television and many years of slavery. Black women are always portrayed in the media as not being good enough. Like the new black cinderella movie. Why does the princess have to be a frog for almost the entire movie before she becomes a princess and she is a waitress cleaning up after others. How do you think a movie like this has affected our children and you would think that a black athlete never dated and married a black women because the media won’t show his wife or girlfriend ,unless she is white or some other race to make a black man and black woman feel like she ain’t good enough and you know It took years for them to come out with a show called basketball wives and as you can see the wives are a lot of different nationalities, but in reality the percentage of black men athletes who have married black women is like 80%, but again the media wants us to think otherwise, so successful black men will always marry outside of their race and the black women and black man will always feel like the black woman is not good enough. So we will alway hate each other for not living up to media standards and it is soo sad because we will always be mistreated until we learn to love and accept our culture and make our own standards like our ancestors did because media is the new slavery. It makes us hate each other for not being white, so a lot of black people are killing one another instead of seeing the good in one another we continue to talk about each other negatively and this started in slavery when slaves would talk about the master because they could not do anything about them beating them, so they did it behind their backs and now black people have past this on for many generations and we now do it to each other and you don’t see other races doing that. They support each other. You have to love yourself first before you can expect others to love you and don’t get me wrong I am definitely for black women dating and marrying white men and white women marrying and dating black men, but you will never see it done to the point where each race is happy for the other dating outside of the race due to self hate in the black race and it is not accepted by white women so more white men are against it than for it eventhough white women do it all the time and black women fear that they will be mistreated.

black women are taught to not date out their race.. the old stand by your black man bullshit even if he is a sorry black man we are taught to tough it out.. we are also brainwashed by religion to think it is god’s will for us to stand by a sorry husband. i have heard of black women going to the pastor for help and all he said was pray in it.. pray on what??? your husband is clearly sorry.. prayer can’t help him unless he wants help.. i remember reading the book by JL King’s ex wife she went to her pastor with evidence of him sleeping with men..the pastor told her don’t accuse her husband. what accusation??? she had all the evidence.. we need to stop brainwashing black women and putting them down when they do date out their race.. i have never dated out of my race.. i am set in my ways.. i think it is too late for me to go that route but i praise any black woman who does.. i encourage my daughter to expand her horizons..

I love this topic! I was just talking about this today at work. I really think that black men have completely forgotten how to treat us. They are getting wrapped up in the BET image of a black woman and really don’tknow who they are any more. They are confused. They say they want a good woman but when they get her they don’t know what to do with her. I feel that if I meet a man of a different race that treats me very well I will be over joyed. I have had so much heartbreak from black men I don’t know what to do. My first black man I dated ended up being my husband and I think I did that because I wanted to make my mother happy. She use to be stuck on that black marriage thing. But since I have been in ATL there are a lot more black men and not as many others. I mean you really have to look. So I have had to date black men. I must say that this has been the worst! I haven’t cried so much and felt so much pain and been lied to. I have a very hard time believing that there is a black man that would do right by me. Trust me I am not a ugly woman I must say that I am very pretty. Not to blow my own horn…LOL! But I am just sick of them!! But hey it is what it is! I just feel like it is time for me to just treat them like the slugs they are!

LIKA…..u sound like you looking for an ignorant ho, from the places it sounds like u looking for women. And if thats what ur lookin for thats fine. Cus im willing to bet you, women like me working in corporate america, and pulling 6 figures, arent checking for your broke ass worried about baby mamas and child support. Think about what u look like talkin about that, yes, no class what so ever. So u know what in the club, and on the corner, u wont find a good woman, since u worried about women shakin they ass. where the hell are u??? Cant be in a classy area, and then wanna call out all black women…broke ass negro, bye!!

That your screen name says 5 star chic is all that really needs to be said about you? No. Black men DONT need to approach black women as Queens. Who died and put you on the throne? Thats right, no one. If you as an individual come corrects than hopefully, in a perfect world, everyone will treat you the same.

I think you need to give black women that same advice. They dont need to tar all black men with the same brush just because they had the munchies for low life black men who treated them like crap. Though to be fair, they probably thought it was exciting at the time.

@ Dummies
The fact that you believe being white is your claim to higher status is typical. The fact that you lack knowledge in regards to our role in history as Queens and Kings is the result of hate and envy that has been in place for centuries against the black race. The fact that you think all black women have several different father for their out of wedlock children and carry stds is futher evidence of your dumbness. Allow me to introduce myself dumbazz since you’re acting like you know me. I’m a married black woman (black man) WE have children. I live in a mansion with more bathroom than you have rooms, so I could shit on you all day. I own several other homes and apartment buildings. I drive the best and they ALL sit on 26’s. My children are educated in the best schools in the country….I could go on and on but you get the point. You want golden brown skin like mine, you wish you had my hips and booty. You dream about having full lips like me. Long story short, you hate me cause you ain’t me. If we were back in slave days your husband wouldn’t even touch you because he’d be too busy in the slave quarters trying to rape me. The fact that you think you are somehow BETTER than me or of a higher class simply because you’re white makes me feel bad for you. You may need to look into getting that crazy check because that sounds like some sort of mental disorder to me.

No one told black women not to date out of their race and no one is putting her down. Black women like to believe that because she needs an excuse as to why she doesnt have a man. Its so funny to me though. A lot of people have been telling black women a lot of things yet the only thing she paid attention to was not dating out her race? I dont believe it. Black women from the age of 5 years old have this attitude of “you aint saying shit to me”. Thats the real reason she aint got nobody.

Black people are so easily fooled. This stuff is only discussed by the media to cause further division.Look,not all Black women who are alone are seeking anyone.There are number of Black women that are into women just as it is with other races of women.You also have many Black women who don’t wish to be with a man or woman,LOL!

Look,there are women from all races who are looking for a man and feel they can’t find one.My problem is that everyone assume that all Black women without a man actually want a man.The real problem in the Black race is there are too many males as oppose to Black men.I have no issue with what Regina King said because many Black women who are waiting will be waiting forever if you are into the fantasy of a Black men.Too many Black males are just too screwed up to even waste your time on.Now it’s cool if you want to waste your time on a project but for Black women that are open to other races,I say go for it. I’m not saying all is perfect in other countries but they are so far ahead of America when it comes to interracial dating.

Likewise, I too am a married black woman but my husband is not black. I dont live in a mansion but him and I are doing just great. I dont have any children but when I do, I hope that I will instill in them some sense of reality. My daughters will not be bragging about slave rape. When black women stop wearing weaves, contacts, and stop bleaching their skin, I will begin to believe what you say. Until then, use one of those bathrooms in your home to reverse your brainwashing. For the record, I never said white women were better but looking objectively at things, they have more social capital than black women do. For all this talk about black women being better than black men because of her education, income, house, cars, clothes, whatever, white women have that more than black women so does that mean she is better? See, this is why black women shouldnt talk so much shit. WHen it is used against you, you cant cry and hide behind your gender or your race in order to avoid the taste of your own medicine.

A lot of Black males love to believe that Black men that date or marry outside the race are in perfect relationships. I know this white woman who has been married to a Black man for almost 6 years and he just left her for another White woman to live in a trailer park.I bring this forth because the white woman I know use to always brag about how he worshiped her .I say this to Black women to show you that bad black men treat white women and others just as bad as they treat black women.

Think about that guy I think his name is Teke or Tiki Barber that left his Asian wife for a white woman. Black men like that dude Barber will always see the white woman as the prize even when they are with other women of color.Many of these type of black men use white women to get back at the white man.Black men that hate black women use all kinds of excuses to date White women.

The real sign to tell when a black man or black woman hate their own kind on the dating circuit is if they see dating white as their only option when it comes to interracial dating.Yeah sure they will say they date Asian,Hispanic but they see the highest achievement of dating is to date white,that’s when you know there is an issue! I will also say that a black man that hates black women loves the idea that a black woman is miserable.

WE AS BLACKS HAVE COME ALONG WAY BUT HOWEVER WHEN TOPICS LIKE THESE EMERGE WE REALLY SHOW HOW SIMPLE-MINDED AND GULLIBLE WE ARE AS A PEOPLE. (SOME OF YOU REALLY NEED TO TRAVEL THE WORLD) THEY (THE MEDIA) KNOW WHAT NERVES TO HIT AND THEY ALSO NOW WHAT SELLS. THIS SO CALLED RIFT BETWEEN BLACK MEN AND WOMEN IS NOTHING BUT A PERPETUATED STEREOTYPE THAT CONTINUES TO CAUSE CONTROVERSY BECAUSE WE ALLOW IT. I KNOW OF SEVERAL HAPPILY MARRIED BLACK COUPLES (I’M ONE OF THEM) I ALSO HAVE FRIENDS WHO’VE FOUND LOVE OUTSIDE OF THEIR RACE. LOVE IS COLORBLIND. BUT ALSO KNOW THAT THERE IS PLENTY OF GOOD BLACK MEN AND WOMEN OUT HERE.. YOU MAY HAVE TO GO THROUGH A FEW BAD APPLES (LORD KNOWS I DID) BEFORE YOU FIND THE ONE BUT HE OR SHE WILL COME. ITS THAT SIMPLE. ALL THIS POINTING FINGERS AT ONE ANOTHER AND FALLING INTO THIS ILLUSION THAT NO GOOD BLACK MEN OR WOMEN EXIST IS PURE FOOLERY. SOME OF YOU MAY NEED TO STEP BACK AND EVALUATE YOURSELVES AND ASK YOURSELF WHY YOU KEEP ATTRACTING WHAT YOU ATTRACT. YOU MAY BE IN FOR A RUDE AWAKENING. ALSO NOW THAT NEGATIVITY AND SELF HATE IS NOT HEALTHY AND ITS DIRECTLY LINKED TO LOW SELF-ESTEEM. CLEARLY SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T LOVE THEMSELVES CAN NEVER LOVE OR APPRECIATE ANOTHER BEING. FOOD FOR THOUGHT!!

I’ve never dated outside my race but I’m not closed to it. I’ve also never had a problem finding a black man ever. I think honestly too many black women are hypocritical and confused about what they want and don’t really know who they are and they deflect that through bitterness and anger towards black men and especially women of other races when they see them with black men. On one hand, we cry and complain that black men (and men of other races) don’t respect us, yet we watch and support the videos, movies, music and shows that paint us in a negative light. Then some women try to counter the stereotype with an attitude of I’m better than those broads and come off negatively. We say were independant strong black women, yet so many say they won’t accept a man that can’t do this that and the other. Come on this site and read the comments on any day and depending on the topic you’ll find the majority of women saying who can get it based off image or celebrity, dissing men who appear to respect women as lames or gay, and supporting gold diggers or dragging other successful black women. And its not just this site but most black blogs the tv shows the demeaning music, videos and movies and its no wonder that black women are considered so undesirable. Look at the image that we have ALLOWED the media, the rappers, the whores and society to give us. Its not fair, its not right but until enough black women have had enough and start standing up to the bullshit being presented about us we will continue to have the same problem. And its the same for black men, so many are stereotyped as thugs, whores, only good for sports or music etc and we allow it. We say we want a man whose hard, spend half our lives chasing an image that has been presented as acceptable to young women by these rappers, athletes and so called ballers and wonder why we get burned. Yet so many of us pass by the good guys call them lame, we don’t want them cause their not hard enough, not spending enough, in the books instead of the clubs. Those are the good guys we should be after but we chase them away and get pissed when they get with someone else. Yes this is long but I wish somebody would see that our ENTIRE RACE needs to stand together and stop the way we are being portrayed, stop being accepting of this bullshit and then maybe we can get to where black men and women can respect each other and improve our race before its too late. I keep feeling like I’m preaching to deaf ears though and I’m almost scared to read the comments but we have to do better, raise our children better and love each other better. My son told me he thinks I’m the most beautiful woman in the world, he’s proud of me and he loves me EVERYDAY and everyday I tell him he’s a strong black man, educate him on top of his school education, tell him gangs, drugs and thugs are dumb, not cool and lead to death, teach him to love himself, his sisters and others. I do the same with my daughters. Ill be damned if my kids fall in the ditch so many of our people are falling into everyday and the the issue is more than just dating

@ Dummies
Maybe we are living in two different worlds because over here in my world Black woman aren’t doomed to a life without a mate. If a black woman is single it’s most likey because they choose to be. BTW nobody had to die for us to sit on the throne, from the start we have sat on it. You
should really take a few college classes or at the least turn off The Hills and watch the damn History channel. Box of rocks.

Their is nothing wrong with a woman not wanting to date outside their race. It is a matter of choice. If you found happiness in an interracial relationship then good for you but don’t try and force your views and opinions on anyone else.

They are trying to turn the black woman against the black man. It is working on some women but not all. I would say that a lot of black women have a tainted view of a black man. Just do a survey for yourself. Ask ten black women the following questions;
Out of 10 black men, how many would you say are gay, bi or on the DL?

Are there more black men in prison or college?

Out of 10 black men, how many have multiple baby mommas?

Out of 10 black men how many have or has had an STD?

I have seen so many black women find fault in good black brothers. It is almost like they think it is too good to be true. Is it that they don’t really believe thare are any good black men? Think about it women.

Owns house.

Owns car.

Good job.

No kids.

No jail record.

Something has to be wrong, right?
He has to be hiding something, right?

I’m confused, are you a man or a women? black or white? In anycase, if you’re a black women you’re actually very ignorant and likely not very successful at all because your comments and black quotes makes you no better than the neck rolling, colored-contact, bleaching skin, weave wearing sisters your talking down about. Grow up and take a look in the mirror. People like you are the reason there is no unity between us, instead of criticizing be apart of the solution to uplifting your community.

Did you read what I wrote? Youre exceptions does not a trend make. There is a ridiculously high number of unmarried black women out there. The problem wouldnt be so socially stigmatizing if marriagelessness didnt correlate positively with crime, poverty, drop out rates and yes, even sexually transmitted diseases. If black women were leading single lives like Japanese women were, America wouldnt bat in eye. Instead we are all shouldered with the burden of having to pick up the pieces of so many broken homes in the black community.

Dear you have never sat on a throne ok. You were sold into slavery by rival tribes for bric-a-brac.

I want to live in a world of equality not a world where because a woman is black she can shit on everyone else. You know why? Because she never gets around to shitting on anyone but black men and black children. Yes I am a black woman but I dont put up with the bs because they have what I have between my legs and we happen to have the same color.

It starts at home. If a woman’s father wasn’t there or misused and abused there mother then they might have a messed up view of black men. Same thing if a man has seen his mother with a lot of different men he might have a messed up view of a black woman.

I still have a hard time following you. I really don’t understand you. It may all make since in your head but you clearly have a hard time translating those thoughts in words. And this is often a result of an uneducated individual. After you’ve graduated from college and lived a little then maybe you can revisit this conversation. Good luck to you!

My son father is dating a white women, and when she gets mad at him; she calls him a nigger. When he told me that, I started laughing. Thats what his dumb ass gets, for dating outside of his race. To all you clowns dating outside of your race, just know that when they get mad; their probably calling you a nigger behind your back! Im very diverse and I have no problems daitng outside of my race. But I prefer my own race, because of what my son’s father is dealing with. This white women takes care of him and I refuse, to support a man that want work. These Becks will do anything for some black penis, more power to them.

Why are you so ignorant, nothing you say makes any sense. Take that dumb shit to another site ASAP. No one cares if you angry, Im a black women that, wil l shit on anyone I feel like shitting on. I dont discriminate!

@Dummies
The plan has always been to turn us on each other, otherwise they couldn’t control us. IDK it may be too late, it’s sounding like you’ve drunk the kool-aid already. DONT BELEVE THE HYPE!
All races have poor, single parents, stds and crime. Yet they want the world to believe it’s the black womans fault. DON’T BELIEVE THE HYPE!

I know a lot of these shit talking hoes don’t know they daddy because they mommas was hoes. They don’t know what a real man is because they daddies was hoes. If your momma a hoe and your daddy a hoe, then hello hoe. I don’t think anyone is born a hoe. It is learned behavior. Young hoes turn into old hoes. Old hoes raise young hoes. I have the utmost respect for women but a hoe should be treated as such. You won’t be offended unless you’re a hoe. Don’t get a woman confused with a hoe. They are two completely different things. You might have to go through a few hoes to find a good woman but once you find that woman it is all worth it.

I am about to be 30 and I have a degree from UCLA I have also studied in Europe. You dont understand because I aint playing the same record. I just hate the hypocrascy of black women sometimes. The vanity is the worst aspect about it.

WIthout a doubt we have suffered as a race. No matter what issues a person has had they can overcome it and be a success. But only if they want to. I believe the hate we have for one another will be our downfall. Divided we will always fall, always.

So you’re saying black women are vain? Have you ever traveled to Brazil, how about Italy? You went to UCLA in the heart of LA and all you see is vain black women. Obviously you’re battling internal issues, maybe your dealing with your own issues as black women living in a place like LA where our kind is not looked upon favorably. In any case, as I said before instead of criticizing be apart of the solution. Its easy to point fingers but requires more than slick talking to create a solution. If all you can do is down talk your own kind, you should just jump off a cliff, your ignorance is useless to society.

Some of the women on this site sound so bitter talking about how sorry balck men are. The majority of black men date black women. Just because a man of another ethnicity hits on you does not mean he will take you serious, you should ask yourself will he be willing to take you home and meet his family?

Black women are the only women that put down black men of their own race in public. Black women are so busy putting other men of ethnicities on a pedestal, I wonder if some of these black women have brothers, sons or fathers the way they tal?

You sound as if your speaking from experience. Im so sorry that your mother and father, were whores and you had to live in that enivornment. I hope that you grow up to become a better person. Because I can tell from you post that, my have grown up in the projects. My mother and father both had very high paying jobs, so I never had to live in the projects!! Im “Truly Blessed and Highly Favored” , so please dont hate the player, hate the game.

I love my black men, but some of them are only looking for a meal ticket. Not all of them can help there situation, because society has dealt them a bad hand. Im not perfect and we all fall short of gods glory. I dont have a problem with black men dating outside of their race. But I do have a problem with that black men that, talk shit about black women. If you dont like your own black women, thats fine! Keep that whore shit to yourself “REAL TALK”! But leave that name calling and disrespect for, that other race of women who are probably calling; you a nigger behind your back!

Actually she was a well paid executive. The first black women to work for a big corporation, in my home town. A real trend setter, go-getter and professional that opened the doors for other black women. Made history and is still well respected in her community. Something you will ever experience, because of your ingorance. But god takes care of the fools, so you should be fine!

Z*stands and applauds* E X A C T L Y. WE R LIVING IN THE MOST DEPRESSING STATE AS FAR AS BLK ON BLK LOVE. TOO MANY BASTARDS BEIN BORN. NOT ENOUGH (POSITIVE) FATHER FIGURES. AS LONG AS WE GOT COONS LIKE LIL WAYNE RUNNIN AROUND ENCOURAGING THE SELF HATRED WIT BLK WOMEN N FUKN EVRYTHING IN SIGHT..WE R DOOMED.

I love being single and when I decide to mate, my man needs to be mature; enough to handle me. I like intellectual, smart and funny men, Im very picky Gemni and most men dont understand me. I grow up around my uncles and brothers and they taught me how to be aggressive. I mean no disrespect to you or anyone on this site! I’m a very loving and caring person, so dont get upset with me about me comments. Have a Good Night and be Bless!

I do not understand the statement “Black men will not even look at black women.” What does that mean? That’s too specific and honestly is a stereotype. Maybe some won’t… but it doesn’t mean they have something against black women it just means they aren’t interested in that particular black woman. Love is love, period. And what is “black love”?? In that case there must be “white love” and “Hispanic love”, etc. I don’t get it. I’m biracial myself and there’s nothing wrong with that. My parents love each other very much, they’ve been married for 20 years and together longer than that. My mother is white and my father is black. My father has dated all races and so has my mother… it’s about the person not the race. Let this “issue” die I don’t even get why it is an issue in the first place… it’s dumb. Get past the mentality of our ancestors it’s not 1850 it’s 2010.

@ToneBlak, Wotah and Reality Check I agree with y’all to a point except you still have a tendency to generalize all of black woman. I still have love for my beautiful black men and I want to see them all succeed and do better same as I do for us black woman

@Kigali, if you weren’t so disrespectful you could sometimes make a decent point.

And I say again, hopefully some of your ears are open, all single mothers are not baby mamas and even if some are everyone makes mistakes. Id rather someone keep their child born out of wedlock and raise them up right (which is very possible) than abort or abandon them. I’m a single mother of 4, a PROUD single mother of 4. I don’t have a bunch of baby daddies nor even 1 baby daddy. My HUSBAND dropped the ball and when my life and my childrens lives became threatened I made him leave and am doing my job to raise my son not to make the same mistakes and my daughters to love and cherish themselves and not fall for the fuckery being forced in our childrens faces each time you turn on the tv, see a billboard or listen to the radio

Wow there are so many stances on this one issue but they all have a point and place. Black women do need to date outside of there race but also if black people dont date black people soon there will be no more of us left.

“Race is not the issue. Mutual respect, Love, Commonality, Goals that is what makes someone a good catch not race.” yes true but wouldn’t you also have more in common with a man the same color and ethnicity as you?

Also “But it is eating me up inside questioning why black men continue to treat us as if we are “less than” the white woman???” I also agree with this statement as a lot of black women have experienced this and that it why we are “angry and bitter” and dont make excuses about black men are just not as picky.

And it doesn’t just happen in the states it happens in a lot of other countries in the world where there was colonialism and where the black race was/is more often than not treated as inferior.

Lastly, yeah I get from this blog that a lot of people are tired of this topic but truth is if it doesn’t stop it will wont go away and people just need to vent.

Facts about Miami:
Black Americans are treated like 3rd class citizens in their own country by cubans and caribbeans.

Many Black Americans have fled the city. As well as White Americans when Castro emptied his prisons and insane asylums in Miami when Carter was president. Hope the guy on the pic isn’t one of them. Most of them are as evil as Tony in the movie with Al Pacino and will kill u for $50.

Rich black americans are TOLERATED TO GET MONEY AND BUSINESS. POOR BLACK AMERICANS AND MIDDLE BLACK AMERICANS ARE NON EXISTENT. BLACK CARIBBEANS AND CUBANS HATE THEM OUT OF THE CITY.

I DONT EVEN VISIT MIAMI, LET ALONE LIVE THERE. WHEN REGINA ENDS UP LIKE LISARAYE, SHE’LL FEEL A LOT BETTER ABOUT BLACK AMERICAN MEN THEN.

EDUCATE YOURSELVES PEOPLE. STOP BEING WITH PEOPLE WHO PRETEND TO ACCEPT U TO GET MONEY.

Well I believe in BLACK LOVE too but I always get the side eye with my fiance because he is half Irish and half African-American. His great-grandfather was full Irish and his great-grandmother was Black. He has really fair skin with red freckles mostly in his face and hands/arms, long red semi curly hair,and has green but hazel looking eyes. No one ever suspects he is even black until he speaks because although I am not trying to stereotype him his voice is really deep plus he is from Chicago. So although I am not really dating out side my ethnicity some people still think so.

here in chicago its just easier to date outside of your race. the brothers are way too colorsruck or gay acting and that sucks… i even had a guy tell me to wear my hair in the wet look more because then i look mixed and that’s hot…. would u believe that the thugabugs treat you better than the professional men? seriously. its a mess. GRRRR!

i’m an african american woman, and i truly have no problem with inter-racial relationships. EVERY RACE IS BEAUTIFUL, THAT IS WHY GOD MADE US SO. but the UNDENIABLE truth is… a SEVERELY DIMINISHNG race of our ” DARK SKINNED” people. With the latino population boon, the black race is truly a minority in EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD!! take a look at the big picture. we talking about a serious watering of our race to the point that THIS generation of DARK SKINNED MEN may be the last of the MOHICANS. we as a black race can’t seem to get ahead AS A RACE, and deep down we all know it, but it seems easier to put a bandaid onn it. TRULY SAD. BUT THIS IS OUR FATE. Itruly hope we can turn this around and start respecting each other, because WE DON’T! BYE-BYE TO THE CHOCOLATE BABIES. isn’t that what they want any damn way?

i’m getting sooooo tired of these date out your race blogs (not u necole) but posts on magazines sites and tv shows about interracial dating. why are we trying to brain wash each other into weakening our race, my family background is all mixed up and it can be annoying as hell.

if a person wants to date out of their race ok kudos to you but damn stop trying to get other black women to do so, some of us actually like our black men, I know I love mine. I get approached by all kinds of men but i’m not making a freaking public announcement about it.

it’s like black women want to be praised they are dating out their race who the f cares! stop it already! there is no love within the black race no strong black couples in the world just a damn mess!

Why are we so pushed to find happiness with other people? Why cant we be perfectly happy with ourselves and our careers? I don’t think the issue is what race we should be dating but rather are we happy and in a relationship with OURSELVES first. You can’t even begin to look for someone else to be happy with until you’re happy with yourself first.
Enough with this black women should be dating X stuff. Teach me how to be successful.

It’s sad to see that in the US black people are like that, I’m so glad to live in Europe. My dad is white and my mom is black, we never had a problem with it, my brother has a white girlfriend, my black aunts are all married with white men and all my black male cousins date white women. Black and White is so XX century

@ Joon you do make a good point about the watering down of our race although I should point out that all light skinned blacks aren’t the result of mixed parents. I’m ls from two brown skinned parents, my older brother is darker than dark chocolate. My great great great great grandma on my moms side was white and its assumed that’s where my color came from so with the way genetics likes to play games we won’t see the complete extinguishment of dark skinned blacks for a long time possibly never but even us light skinned blacks are still proud black people.

@Checking Me, my husband was mixed and he looked a different race to anyone looking at him but if you ask him he’s black. I got the same stares when we were dating and out together. The first thing my mom said when she met his was “a fucking mexican? You’re bringing home a fucking mexican?” Lol but his mom is deep brown and our children are all darker than us with my hair except one and she’s lighter than both of us with super straight hair but identical features. One look at her and you can tell she has mixed blood (though she doesn’t know it and says shes full black), people think my other kids are lying when they tell people their father is mixed even though they identify black as well (they have no choice they’re all 3/4 black but they have a brother from my husband who is obviously mixed and no one believes they are related). As I was saying to Joon, genetics is crazy because our kids are all different shades of brown from darker to redder to slightly darker than me to almost white and they have 4 different hair types. 3 coarse yet different stages of curly to straight although they all have my reddish brown hair color (his was jet black super straight) His other son is dark chocolate with straight hair like his father but has his fathers features which show he’s mixed.

Genetics play crazy games and it will be hard to fully extinguish our race but we also need to accept and embrace ALL shades of our people as black people. Just because you’re darker than me (or your boyfriend) doesn’t make you blacker than me. We still fight the same struggles. I’m light with a full nose and full lips. Long thick hair when I stop cutting it but so coarse a super might as well be a texturizer and ill still need a hot comb which is why when my hair is long I skip the perm and just get a press. Some look at me and assume I’m mixed when my hair is straight or wild and get offended when I say hell no. I speak proper but my country accent comes out when I’m upset or at home and I offer no apology and I still battle racist ignorant people almost daily especially when it comes to my children. People assume that because they are different shades, shapes, sizes and textures that I must have 4 baby daddies. They don’t bother to look at the identical twin like features on their faces or the fact that they all share the same last name. This issue is more than just dating its about blacks loving ourselves and our people male and female enough to respect each other and do better. Fall in love with whomever you fall in love with regardless of race but don’t make excuses for it, don’t go looking for other races cause you’ve given up on black men or black women, don’t assume every woman is like your last and push your entire race aside because you’ve been burned once or twice or even three times. I tell men all the time I’m not your average woman, I’m one of a kind and once we get involved they see that. I know how to cook like the restaurants or like my grandma depending on what I want, I clean, I’m educated, I’m work my ass off for my children and do not accept or ask for handouts when it comes to them or me, I keep my body in shape despite my disability and my hygiene is great. Never had an std, never been a whore. I’m a strong black woman but I also will submit and defer to my man when we are in a real relationship and the time calls for it. I’ve treated every man I’ve dated as a king and although I’ve been burned a few times, made a few mistakes, have usually been treated like a queen in return. I’m not your average black woman, hoodrat,lazy,nasty, dirty and slutty don’t apply to me. So to all those men on here making those assumptions about us because of what you see on tv, hear on the radio, in the clubs or cause you’ve been burned open your eyes and look higher than the liqour store, club, park or wherever you’ve been looking and you’ll find the majority of us are good black women who still have faith in good black men. I know too many good positive brothers to give up on all of you. Like I said I don’t care who you date if its for love, I’m open to fall in love with whoever is the right man for me but don’t put us down trying to justify it and I don’t agree with women doing the same to you. And please black people stop supporting this garbage they call entertainment that is ruining our society and causing all of us to have a worse image and setting us back hundreds of years, creating more stereotypes and ruining our children. How can you be pro black listening to music that’s anti black?

I really don’t understand why it’s so hard for successful black women to find good successful black men who date black women…I know many successful black men who date black women and most of them only date black women or are married to successful black women so I don’t get it at all. Then again I do not think of black men in such a degrading way so I guess its easier for good to come my way. What you put out there comes back to you.

I do have a black female friend who only dates black men, but she thinks black men are dogs so of course she attracts dogs and she can’t understand why I get the good ones. The same thing goes for the men, if you think black women have attitudes you will more than likely date that.

I am not very open to dating outside of Black American (the ones whose ancestors were enslaved here) men, but I have before. I’m even more selective being that I don’t date black west indians or africans or europeans.

of course they should.. if he treats you like a queen, respects you, has something going for himself/successful, fine as hell.. and if he happens to be something other than black.. go for it. it’s like shopping; if you can’t find what your want one place, then go to the next.. common sense really. if you sit around waiting for the “perfect” black man or perfect man for that matter.. LOL! im sure you’ll be waiting forever.

Im a successful black women and Im not looking for a man period. Most men have more drama then women in 2010! So I just spend most of my time, with my family and close friends. I dont like men that rape, belittle, use and steal money from women. I know some decent successful brothers that ready, willing and available; anytime that Im ready to settle down. Im just not interested, but some men cant take no for an answer. So they try to make your life a living hell, by spreading rumors; stealing money and saying horrible things.

Do whatever the hell you feel like doing. We only live once so why live your life based on what other people feel you should be doing…..That’s too much damn stress and bondage, I need to be free to breathe and sex who ever the hell I want no matter what color he is……

THIS IS REALLY SAD AND SCARY……..WHAT HAPPENED TO BLACK PRIDE…..IT SEEMS WE ARE SO CONCERNED ABOUT IMPRESSING AND BEING ACCEPTED BY OTHER RACES THAT WE TURN OUR BACK ON OUR OWN PEOPLE…….I DON’T WANT NOTHING BUT A BEAUTIFUL BLACK WOMEN……AND FOR THE BLACK WOMEN THAT THINK THAT WHITE MEN ARE BETTER, I GOT NEWS FOR YOU,,,THEY DO THE SAME SHIT WE DO….IMM SICK OF THIS SHIT……..BLACK MEN HAVE BEEN LABLED “DOGS” AND “NO-GOOD” BY EVERY RACE OF PEOPLE, YOU WOULD THINK OUR WOMEN WOULD STAND FOR US…….EXTINCTION

I wish all men would feel the same way, that you do! But you are right everyone is so busy trying to impress others. I love my own race and will never put another race; before my own race. Im just a very diverse person and I attract different people. Its not that I think that they are better, its just my personality that attracts people to me.

I feel she is so wrong on her statement. I love my black men and will stick by thier side. I don’t know what the hail is going on with this new trend trying to get rid of the African-American race and not standing tall and pride for all the hard work our ancestors slaves went through and Martin Luther King jr. died for. To all African-Americans we must never forget the struggles and beauty we bring to the black race and shame on this girl on her statement. I feel so sorry for her mother and father I know this has to be a big shame and slap in the face to them. We must not shall not let our black race to this new trend destroy the beauty of the African-American race.

Another thing Regina, please girl do something about them bones that looks like the bones is going to start tearing through your flesh, that shit looks just nasty as hail. Either eat just a little bit more or cover that shit up. That is not sexy nor cute.

do what you want just dont be bitter! my father is a black & my mother is japanese. He said when he was younger, “the black girls acted like they were to good for us and didnt give us the time of day…” he ended up with my mom and theyve been together 24+ years.

i myself have only dated black men. my sister, on the other hand, is on her second white boyfriend. i steady clown her but ultimately, if he’s good to her than thats all that matters. just dont be with a man thats trash.

another thing, i find it ridiculous that you see someone black with another “race” and you re mortified. there are so many black*black couples. one or two or three people venture out and find love w someone of another color and some peoples wigs flip. Imagine if you came with that attitude toward a decent, open-minded person. Already that fact that youre so close-minded is probably a turn off!

But the truth is, you see this in all areas of the world. some people cant stand the idea of dating outside of your “race.” so while we’re focused on blacks dating other colors, another ethnic group would be quick to disown their own for dating outside their race…

Teri, actually is should “color SHOULDN’T matter.” but the sad part is that is does. I think some people ask what exactly is “Black Love” because love is truly colorblind. I understand in having a love as well as pride of one’s ethnicity and heritage, as well as building a community, but thinking in that limited way really doesn’t let us progress as a community.

People do have preferences, so how can you criticize people in saying that and they say in another post that you “want black babies?” It’s okay if that’s your choice, don’t make it sound like that you yourself don’t have a preference. I also have preferences and I’m not ashamed of that. I want a man who intelligent, broad-minded, compassionate, progressive and kind. The last time I checked, those traits are limited to one ethnic group.

I think that some of the problems in terms of Black men and women dating within our race is that the negative things each gender things of the other. The men think the women have attitudes and drama and are gold diggers, and women think the men are dogs and thugs or broke asses who can’t provide for their women. There are people like that, but there’s a lot of people who AREN’T that way. Many good black men get overlooked because of money or status, or they don’t have the right type of job or right kind of car. Some good women get overlooked because they don’t look like they walked out of a rap video, and she shows any sign of standing up for herself, it’s seen as an “attitude.” Plenty of black women can assert themselves without throwing their necks into whiplash. Sometimes when one finds a good man or woman, then they don’t know what to do with them because they’re so used to laying down with the bad boy/girl.

If both genders raised their standards and were a little smarter and patient when they’re looking for someone, maybe we’re equal no matter what society says, we can all move forward.

@lika
You need to stop! I don’t know where you come from, but you need to be reborn. What you said was crazy. You obviously attract the type of women you mentioned! What does that say about you?

I HATE STEREOTYPES with a passion! Not all black women are hoes, baby-mamas,golddiggers,etc… Alot of women don’t cook and clean, it’s not just in one race.
There are all types of women in all the races. Just as there are all types of men of all races.
You can’t generalize a group of people based on your so called negative experiences. It’s ridiculous!

Anyways….. I can’t lie, when I was younger I had a problem with seeing black men with white women. It was only because some had this look like”yeah look what I got”. Some black men just make it a point to only date white girls, because they don’t like black women. I have a cousin-in-law who feels that way and he married a white girl. I’m cool with that, but not his attitude about black women. He black as night and so are his parents. I sometimes wonder if they hate themselves/black women so much, then what do they think of their mothers(who are black women)?

I’m married, but if I ever find myself single, I’ll be open to dating other races, especially since alot of (NOT ALL) black men seem to love other races of women. If they can do it, then why shouldn’t we if we choose. To each his own….. But I love Black men!

LETS KEEP IT REAL! Black women know that a white man will not beat your azz like a black man would,hell,they will just kill your azz and bury you in a shallow grave! ROTFL.. Well,I know that’s the reason I won’t fu*k with none of them crazies! The shyt happens every day and yall know damn well that is the main reason! Well,they also have small to mediocre wee wee’s and that is a certified no no on a black woman’s ‘Boo’ list! :0)

As long as a man treats you good, respects women to the fullest, and truly loves you, it doesn’t matter what color he is. I get tired of people wanting to be with men/women of other races and wanting biracial babies. Who cares how the baby comes out looking? Don’t we all want pretty babies? DUH! As long as your baby is healthy and has hair, it doesn’t even matter. I’m a young girl and I don’t think like that. There are some women who can’t even have children and some women who are physically disfigured to the point where a man might not even look her way. Having a child and being able to catch someone’s eye is truly a blessing because not all people have that natural beauty. Being able to have a child is a true blessing. Who wouldn’t want to have a child of their own? I know I’m kinda off-topic but true love is really undermined with a lot of insecurities in the minority community, not only with blacks. This whole cookie cutter thing is getting old. You ought to be glad you can find someone period, because some people just can’t catch a person’s eye AT ALL! I’d be happy with a good man, regardless of color, and a very healthy baby with hair. That’s how I see it. Forget about color and focus on what you really want in a relationship! It’ll come to you because God sees everything and he knows what’s best for you. Sorry for going off topic, but interracial dating shouldn’t be explored because of misconceived notions. Not all black men are like that. It’s hard to find good ones, but they exist.

lol @ alllll these comments. Wow.
There is far too much discussion on why, or where, or who or what. Everybody has the solution to the next persons issues but cant fix the trials and tribulations in themself. gtfoh. worry about yourself and your own situation, and if you are content- then you dont owe anyone an explanation. We can go into what society makes us, what we exemplify, what we lack, what we have been taught, and what some of us obviously were not taught. ..At the end of the day, the next man is not accountable for the decisions we have made, and the choices we have to live with. Nor does the next man have to sleep in the bed we make.
@ Dummies, you make some valid points; but you also seem bitter. As bitter as the women you are referring to..and its an evil cycle that you are contributing to as well.
2 me, color doesnt mean grounds for automatic respect. Respect is earned.
I cant glorify a black man because he is black…nor will I glorify a hispanic, white, or any other race…with that being said..I love with my heart & not with my eyes.

Love who you want to love and to hell with everyone else! I personally fell in love with a person that is not Black. Not because of his race but because he is my best friend. Because I’ve known him for years and he has the biggest heart. Because he’s a great man and he’ll be a great father after we are married. Because we like a lot of the same things and the things we don’t like about each other we can tolerate. I can be myself around him. Which I don’t believe I ever was with other men because I never fit their standards of what a Black Woman should be like. Now just brothas but all men. They watch too much tv or think I should have been more like their mothers. But now I have someone that likes me for who I am with all of my quarks and liberal views, straight hair or fro’ed out, weave or no weave, perfect nails or chewed up nails, skinny, thick, and in between. And in the end don’t we all want someone that loves us regardless of our bad habits and imperfections?

Love is not blind because society is not. Being in an interracial relationship can be difficult. Yet, if you love someone enough you deal with it, and you go through it together as a team. I’d rather face the challenges with my man then to have sat and wondered what my life would have been like if I never gave him a change.

It doesn’t matter because we’ll all be brown asian in the future, when China and India take the eastern hemisphere over.
That asside, people are people. I know white guys who date black girls and vice-versa; but it’s not an eclusive thing. I mean, it’s not people who will ONLY date people of a certain race. That’s like saying ” I just like blondes”. Ok, it goes a little deeper than that, on a cultural level some places, but we’re all looking to find love, so let’s just do that.
Mixed race babies are the most adorable and grow up super hot.

I date black men and have a child from one and I am a white woman and black woman get mad at me because I can sleep with their man and I have even slept with two black men who were cousins. Don’t be mad this white woman can get black and they like my white pussy.

Why in the world (if you are really a white woman) come on article about Black Women dating, and boast proudly that you can “**get black men and even slept with 2 black counsins”.. That is the stupidist shit I’ve ever heard.

Black women are SO over you white cave women and black men & their dicks. I’m just sick of you all,etnirely.

I completely agree with Regina King. I have been in a four year relationship with a half black and half white man. I have also dated an two white men, an asian, and a few latino men. I am not saying that non-black men are better, but from my experiences, they are not colorstruck and they also seem to work harder to show appreciation and make a black woman comfortable. The comments on non-black men being afraid to approach black women is silly. Are these women who are not getting approached by non-black women in ethnically diverse settings? Do they show that they are approachable to all races? It is all about communication, and there are plenty of non-verbal communication tactics that may be used to either attract a man or deter his advances. It seems as though the younger generation of black women understand this concept more than black women 30+ in age. Older people seem to lack the ability to have an open mind, and that is no one’s fault but theirs.

At first I was gonna gonna go in on black women with a typical vain smart A@@ comment. But I’m gonna just say this, I was raised by black women; mothers,sisters,aunties and such. Had a father in the home during my childhood. First I just wanna say ladies, most of your own demise has been due to your own bad choices in men, and some being caused by some sorry no good black men, no matter how well you treated them, were gonna dog you anyway. You have a right to be angry and bitter but let it go or it will turn to hatred and cause you lots of unhappiness. And just try to realize your flaws and mistakes to improve your choices next time, and remember his to be up on game.”Don’t be bitter be better”. And men please give the sisters some slack, we all know we gonna get the side eye because what the last brother did, but if she a good woman she’ll come around if you treating her right, and if she a good woman its worth putting up with for a little while. Cause fellas we all know we got some friends who have done some messed up stuff to women and maybe some of us have done some of the same things also. So cut the ladies a break. And sisters you know there are some of you who are trifling to, dating baby daddy and good guy at the same time, chasing money, rappers,thugs,athletes, and the dreaded perfect man,and clubbing too much.So some not all are wifey material yet. So cut the brothers a break when they been dealing with these chicks and you catch a hard time for it. But we as black people I feel should learn to love our selves, Date whomever you like, but know this”You should be able to love your own before you try to love someonelse’s. race is implied.

smh…but all black women love to say shit about us like we are sellout self-hating coons who hate black women and always want white bitches but most of real dark/brown skin black men ( not mixed ones ) are with black/mixed women and have real dark/brown skin black looking kids. more black/mixed bitches date/marry/sleep outside of their race than we do that’s why we have so many mixed looking kids for white race and we don’t want these sellout fake azzz self-hating white man’s whores!!

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Black women should not date or marry white men! It is a kiss of death! White men need to stay with their white women and let black women be. We have enough problems as it is without the baggage of nonsense of interracial relationships. With the history of black and white interaction, the last thing black people need is white relatives. They need to be bred out of our race once and for all.

Okay I’m a 15 year old girl from englan, I original come from Jamaica which is one of the most controvorsy countries out there, when it comes to “black ppl” I think its right what she said that less homes are filled up with black ppl couples, the reason for that is the media, the media is trying to make it seem that the lighter ur skin, the better person u are the better looking. Am I wrong or am I right? I liked this black guy from my skl for about 2 yrs and a few months ago he basically said to me if u were lighter, u would have been perfect, imagine we both are the same colour yet he’s discrimanating me… I couldn’t believe my ears, I felt torn, I still do. I think black ppl should date who they want to date, but to discrimanate on ur own race is an all time looow, they make it look like black women are still the germs they white men thought we were, and now look who want us more than ever, they wanted us the white men, they slaved us then raped us, or turned the black slave women in too their mistresses, we need to love our own skin, stop doing this outta hate and jealousy, date who we wanna date, god didn’t just put one race on the world so why can’t we date on another, stop the bickering, we dnt need to repeat our past history, ik its hard for a black woman out there I know, but it aint how it used to be so be geatful we have freedom to do what we please, and date who we please…

Okay I’m a 15 year old girl from england, I original come from Jamaica which is one of the most controversial countries out there, when it comes to “black ppl” I think its right what she said that less homes are filled up with black ppl couples, the reason for that is the media, the media is trying to make it seem that the lighter ur skin, the better person u are the better looking. Am I wrong or am I right? I liked this black guy from my skl for about 2 yrs and a few months ago he basically said to me if u were lighter, u would have been perfect, imagine we both are the same colour yet he’s discrimanating me… I couldn’t believe my ears, I felt torn, I still do. I think black ppl should date who they want to date, but to discrimanate on ur own race is an all time looow, they make it look like black women are still the germs they white men thought we were, and now look who want us more than ever, they wanted us the white men, they slaved us then raped us, or turned the black slave women in too their mistresses, we need to love our own skin, stop doing this outta hate and jealousy, date who we wanna date, god didn’t just put one race on the world so why can’t we date on another, stop the bickering, we dnt need to repeat our past history, ik its hard for a black woman out there I know, but it aint how it used to be so be geatful we have freedom to do what we please, and date who we please…

[…] More Black Women Should Date Outside Of Their Race… – ….According to Regina King’s blog on Vibe.com. Here’s an excerpt and my response: Of all groups of people, Black women are the least likely group of women that …… […]

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