where are you going?

February 15, 2012

Did you ever journal? I kept a journal for years. All through high school and into my first years of college. I still have them, because it would be dangerous to leave them anywhere and have them broken into, obvi. I carted my journal with me everywhere. I have conversations and notes from my friends scattered throughout my writing. Honestly, reading back in time is tough. Some things, like the list I posted today, were funny and sweet. There is a lot of sadness that I didn’t know how to handle. There are pages of calorie counting and weigh ins. But my journal was also a place to collage and dream. They are priceless to me. So, Lissy and I read through them together the other day and found a list we made as sophomores in high school…a “dreamboat” list. Here are some of the qualities we were looking for in a dreamboat June 14, 2002.

Crinkly eyes

Gives and uses nicknames

Spontaneous gestures

Very affectionate

Strong Morals

No pressure

A willingness to give in

Very supportive

Knows how to give sincere compliments

Not afraid to get up and dance…or be sweetly shy, but can be tempted

Sense of humor

Not too perfect

Loves to eat

Never makes you feel like a burden

Gives back rubs

Plays with my hair

Proud of your accomplishments

Visibly infatuated and in love

And I will leave you with a poem Lissy jotted down on the adjacent page.

Where are you going?
To a faraway land?
Where dreams
and honey and ice cream
all collide?

I started keeping journals in 2001, and plowed through about 17 of them between high school and college. My writing has slowed significantly, but I still drag a book around with me at all times, and my stack of journals past is kept in a basket under the bed. It is hard to look back on what I wrote during those years, but it gives me such an appreciation for how far I’ve come, and where I am now. I’ve been trying to make an effort to write more–no use in dragging the book around if I’m never going to use it!

I didn’t regularly journal, but I would buy a new one for every trip I took–I have half filled journals from 3 weeks in Paris, Rome, London. The most painful is the journal from a choir trip to Vienna/Budapest with my on and off boyfriend in tow, but those memories are so dear to me, even if I cringe at what I thought and did at the time. I think the thing I’m most grateful for is how much I’ve grown since then, and I know you have, too.

What a neat post. I hate to say it, but if I were to look back through my own journals I am afraid I’d be sad myself. Lots of writing about guys that really weren’t worthy of my time, etc. I am glad you wrote about funny, happy things too! Your “dreamboat” list is filled with wonderful, unique characteristics.