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Commission Journals: What turns you off?

So we've been around art sites long enough to see all types of things, from chain journals, to call outs, to drama journals to even journals about how to turn your dog into orange chicken. But the journals that you will most commonly see on any art site on any given day are commission journals.

Like your typical journals, they come in all shapes and sizes. And like all things in this world, there are things that simply turn you off from wanting to make a purchase from said artists based on the content of their commission journals. So to all the members of Weasyl, what are your absolute turn offs to commission journals?

I know that I absolutely will not buy from artists who always tie a sob story to every commission journal they make.

I don't actually mind backgrounds all that much. Simple things like "my car broke down." "Cat got sick." because often these journals aren't just on a pure professional account and it also ties into the social factor.
I also don't mind if someone writes "hey I wanna go to con." or something. I don't care, but I don't mind.

It's the detailed shit about whatever tragedy of the day is up.

I also hate repetitive sales. Having a sale now and again is nice, cool way to draw in more people. fine. What I hate is the discounts and sales weekly (usually tied with the daily emergency and sob story to prompt commissions) but I feel like at that point they don't know what their art is worth because they won't pick a consistent price.

Finally, I hate stupid TOSs. I don't mind strict ones, I understand the need. What I hate is people that don't know their butt from a hat and make a TOS that is useless, weirdly restrictive to the point it screws the customer, or they demonstrate a clear and complete lack of understanding for things like copyright or whatever.

I know a few people who have more sales than steam. The sad part is they don't realize that a lot of the sales they make are "If you buy one avatar commission for $10, you'll get a second one at a discount price for a total price of $20!". Oops!

A commission journal that says "Open for commissions" with a subtext of 'I'm going to work on your commission today' (may or may not be explicitly stated) but then, somewhere on the journal (footer, most likely) is a queue or waitlist of commissions that haven't been completed yet.

OR a line something akin to "People who already commissioned from me, don't worry, I haven't forgotten about you."

For me, that tells me two things:
1.) You're not very responsible with budgeting (assuming no sob story is present)
2.) I get to gamble on when I get my commission, if I get it at all.
(Bonus: I feel doing this is insanely disrespectful to your previous commissioners)

However, there's not one single commission journal entry type that will immediately make me go "lolno". It's rather, I'm probably watching this user so I would notice a trend. A BIG trend I happen to notice with many artists is "Sorry I haven't finished your commissions yet guys, I had to X, Y, Z." Once or twice? I get it, shit happens.
Multiple times? Especially if you're ragequitting FA every so often? Good luck ever getting commissioned by me, as I'm fairly certain you're going to run off with my money.

I see too many journals where there is some kind of "tragedy" going on in their life and often used as an excuse to slow down on commissions. I know that bad things happens, but if you're constantly taking commissions then the next week you have some problem in your life...maybe you should slow down and take time for yourself instead of constantly asking for commissions.

The other peeve are commissions that are too cheap. A dollar? I don't want to buy art that's treated like a fast food item on the Dollar Menu. I want art that I want to value for a while.

Long lists of commissions. If you are taking on more than 5 people for a commission I worry.

Over-promoted people because they're related or in a relationship. I don't mind seeing a shout here and there, but if you have to constantly pimp your significant other being open for commissions. Maybe you should take a step back and realize that even if you love them - they may not have something people want. Your intentions are good, but it does get annoying after a while. Networking is great, but there's a point you need to let your significant other actually work on client relations.

Too many journals between commission ones. If you have time to post you should be spending time working on art. Now understand, I am not saying you can't post journals at all but if you're posting how you cat farted 6 ways till Sunday every day when you took up a queue of 15 commissions, that can be really annoying.

Telling me how depressed you are. That makes you wonder if the person can handle the commission. A commission isn't a magical cure to depression - even if you think it's about getting money.

Pretty much anything other than a concise, professional summary of what you are offering (including examples), for how much, what you will or won't do, and how long it will take. Ideally there will be a clear TOS or summary of how the exchange will go, as not everyone does it the same. (When do I give you the money? Do I give it to you all at the beginning? How many changes am I allowed in the planning phase? At what point do changes become an upcharge? That kind of thing.)

Personal journals are personal journals, and I don't care how you speak in those. But if I'm considering giving you money for a service, I would prefer that your summary of said service is treated with professionalism. Emoticons and overly casual wording aren't going to turn me off as much as being unclear on what you're offering will, but they don't help, either.

If communication between client and artist gets more casual, that's fine with me. But if whatever written text you're offering as your point of reference for business transactions is badly-written, confusing, or obnoxious, I am likely to go elsewhere. (Does it need to be said that sob stories falls under this?)

And eugh, frequent sales bother me, too. Like with stores, you can only offer a sale so many times before it feels like you're just trying to trick me into thinking I'm saving money by over-inflating the "real" cost.

I agree the sob stories are the biggest turn off. It makes me feel that you can only sell your work because people feel sorry for you . I totally understand wanting to help someone out, and wanting to speak of problems you have. It not like there are a shortage of people with money troubles, and no doubt your doing commissions to try and earn some extra cash. With that being said, talk about your issues, and talk about your commissions, but please, do it in a separate journal.

Haha, I buy commissions from people with sob stories more often than not... depending on the sob story. Usually I count my commission as a donation to a cause with art returned as a bonus. I've had many people never actually finish my commission. Some run off with the money, and some try to offer a refund, but I let them keep it. I understand that sometimes life chews us up and shits us out, so when I have money to spare I try to be generous.

But it depends on the sob story, and I only do this for personal friends or friends of friends, not just anyone out there.

What I do not like the most is the attitude of a rotten/arrogant artist. Lesser to that extent, the demanding attitude of wanting to be commissioned. " Commission me KTHX BAI."---Now that you say it it like that, no.