Bruno Mars is a man of style. He always looks fashionable, and that’s why the ‘Locked Out of Heaven’ singer was selected as the Man of Style for the February issue of InStyle. Dressed in array of dark suits, button downs and hats, Mars is looking fine. But he also displayed a sense of humor so delightfully demented that your tummy will hurt from giggling at what he said in the feature.

Mars declared that he is in “beast” mode right now, as opposed to “loverboy” mode, and here’s how he broke it down, in terms of romance and his personal style.

A Bruno Mars date: It’s sweet. Literally. “It starts with me on the floor, hot fudge all over my naked body. Just to see — I like a girl who’s open to anything,” the crooner joked. “I’m kidding. I love to go to the movies or the beach and then dinner.” Sounds like he really is a loverboy and not a beast!

He doesn’t serenade dates: He called that behavior “cornball” and suggested that “no girl wants that.” Uh, Bruno, are you a caveman who was recently discovered and thawed out after centuries encased in ice? Every girl wants that!

What he has to take into account when dressing: His size. He admits that being short makes him mindful of his fashion choices.

He prefers “Pawnshop Gold”: Don’t get him a gilded gift at, say, Macy’s. “I don’t like gold that you can get at the mall,” he said about jewelry with no history. “To me that doesn’t tell a story. I want to see pirate gold, like coin rings and pendants.” Ahoy, matey!

What he wears offstage: Hanes V-Necks, jeans and Chuck Taylors.

He does wear Hawaiian shirts: He admitted he loves a “good aloha shirt” since he is from Hawaii. He also confessed that he gets clowned for wearing them.

Who he wants to record with:Rihanna. “I’d love to get in the studio with Rihanna. I think we’d have a lot of fun.” If it involves going topless (her fetish) and smothering each other with hot fudge (his), it’ll be a party. Fudge and nakey nakes aside, someone get those two in a studio, stat.

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