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Monday, September 9, 2013

Raise your hands if you have any freakin' idea why we're about to launch a "strategic military operation"[1] against a country most Real Amurricans couldn't spell, yet alone find on a world map. Raise your hands if you really think Syrians pose "a threat to America's safety and security". Raise your hands if you're really pissed off that a President who was prematurely given a Nobel Peace Prize is about to get us into yet another un-winnable conflict. Raise your hands if you actually think we can accomplish this without putting boots on the ground.

Raise your hands if you're tired of us worrying about other country's issues that only marginally affect us when we've got some really serious issues of our own to sort out.

I get it, The United States is the world's peacekeeper. It's our job to pick sides and sort this kinda sh*t out, even if it's not actually our job. It's an obligation, and it's part of why we're The SuperPower™. We are basically the Deebo's Of Planet Earth, even if bully people under the guise of helping them.

Don't get me wrong, I have sympathy for those suffering in Syria. If 100,000 people were killed over a course of year, and many more killed via recent chemical weapons attacks, that should be addressed. By someone. Somewhere. I find it not-so-surprising that we can't find another country to co-sign this though. After a full decade of waging expensive "Strategic military operations" in the Middle East, I understand why our allies are telling us "nah, ya'll handle this one, we're gonna sit this one out".

But come on, why spend money in Damascus when we got plenty of sh*t that needs to be fixed in Detroit? I'm less concerned about Assad than I am A'Vondrae, the bama in Baltimore who probably wants my car. Forget Iraq, sent troops to Chi-Raq. I got no clever plays on words for Philly and Cleveland, but yeah, we should be worry about them to.

Yes, this is a gross oversimplification of the decision the President and those in leadership are facing now. I know that. I know far more complicated issues with implications most Real Amurricans like me can't even process and aren't even privy to are also at play. And quite honestly, I just don't care.

We need to clean up our own house before we worry about next door.

Question: What's your read on the forthcoming "Strategic military operation" in Syria?

[1] Because "War" sounds so crass. "Strategic military operation" does better with focus groups, I'm sure.

Raise your hands if you have any freakin' idea why we're about to launch a "strategic military operation"[1] against a country most Real Amurricans couldn't spell, yet alone find on a world map. Raise your hands if you really think Syrians pose "a threat to America's safety and security". Raise your hands if you're really pissed off that a President who was prematurely given a Nobel Peace Prize is about to get us into yet another un-winnable conflict. Raise your hands if you actually think we can accomplish this without putting boots on the ground.

Raise your hands if you're tired of us worrying about other country's issues that only marginally affect us when we've got some really serious issues of our own to sort out.

I get it, The United States is the world's peacekeeper. It's our job to pick sides and sort this kinda sh*t out, even if it's not actually our job. It's an obligation, and it's part of why we're The SuperPower™. We are basically the Deebo's Of Planet Earth, even if bully people under the guise of helping them.

Don't get me wrong, I have sympathy for those suffering in Syria. If 100,000 people were killed over a course of year, and many more killed via recent chemical weapons attacks, that should be addressed. By someone. Somewhere. I find it not-so-surprising that we can't find another country to co-sign this though. After a full decade of waging expensive "Strategic military operations" in the Middle East, I understand why our allies are telling us "nah, ya'll handle this one, we're gonna sit this one out".

But come on, why spend money in Damascus when we got plenty of sh*t that needs to be fixed in Detroit? I'm less concerned about Assad than I am A'Vondrae, the bama in Baltimore who probably wants my car. Forget Iraq, sent troops to Chi-Raq. I got no clever plays on words for Philly and Cleveland, but yeah, we should be worry about them to.

Yes, this is a gross oversimplification of the decision the President and those in leadership are facing now. I know that. I know far more complicated issues with implications most Real Amurricans like me can't even process and aren't even privy to are also at play. And quite honestly, I just don't care.

We need to clean up our own house before we worry about next door.

Question: What's your read on the forthcoming "Strategic military operation" in Syria?

[1] Because "War" sounds so crass. "Strategic military operation" does better with focus groups, I'm sure.