Anyway I'm going to post the next chapters as a flood release when i have ten of them written... i'd also appreciate some feedback (Either comments or reviews) as i write this, feedback is most of what keeps me realising publicly after all.

And that's it... I'll try and keep the author notes to a minimum for this story, but i make no promises...

ENJOY!!!

POV: Alexander Marsh

“Fuck… I just wanted one damn scroll, there was no need to be this pissed!” Looking down at my side I saw that the arrow had dug in deeper since I last checked. Shit… Hey Ra, if you’re listening up there I could really use some help here!

“He went this way! Hurry up and find that damn thief or I’ll feed you all to the manticore!”

Well shit… Guess my break is over now… Back to running… It was defiantly not looking good for me, all my puppets had been destroyed by that old man’s damn pet manticore and I was fairly sure that the arrow had nicked something important judging by the amount of pain I was in and blood I was losing. I was pretty much out of mana too so all that oh so helpful light magic Ra gave me to keep me from dying too soon was now useless. Realistically I didn’t see myself making it out of this situation alive, but I had to at least try. That was the problem when an all-powerful god decides to ask you for a favor and holds your afterlife hostage as insurance, you really don’t have a choice but to do what it asks of you.

Seriously birdhead, if you don’t help me out here I’m not going to be able to get the rest of your shit for you! Trying to move through the underbrush silently and lose my pursuers in this maze of trees I began to contemplate how my life got to be this messed up…

***

Like all great cons throughout history it started with a beautiful woman. Her name was Ray and she was the light of my life, after three months of dating I was sure she was my soulmate and was already planning out our future together. The life I envisioned for us went something like this… I would pop the question in some grand romantic way, probably at a fancy restaurant I couldn’t really afford, and would present her with this perfect velvet ring case. She would gasp and open it up to find a ring pop and some of those stupid little candy hearts with “be mine” written on them, then as I gave her the goofy grin she loved she would laugh and say something sarcastic before giving me the yes I was waiting for. Then there would be a small wedding, a house in the suburbs, a few kids, and a pet or two making my life worth living as I slave away at some corporate drone job to pay the bills. It would be paradise.

And it would also never happen since our last date ended with us being mugged at gunpoint and my gallantly taking a bullet for her. I died and ironically that’s when my life started going upside down, I ended up opening my eyes to find myself on what looked like the surface of the sun with Ray there smiling at me. Turns out that Ray was actually a sun goddess called Ra, like the actual mythical Egyptian god Ra, she had a real problem with some missing artifacts of epic power in another world, and I was her chosen errand boy for fixing the problem. Oh, and she would never let my soul rest in peace or reincarnate or experience any other fun afterlife option until I helped her, there was that little surprise in our talk too.

Now me being the great boyfriend I am, and also maybe fearing for my immortal soul a little bit, I said I’d help her out and retrieve her missing items for her. After I agreed to her demands Ray, or Ra as she started insisting I call her, started showering me with benefits and gifts. I guess she had learned that I’m pretty easy to appease while we were dating, but after a long conversation about what sorts of magic, race changes, and whatnot I would be getting, that really just seemed more like we were back at my apartment talking about some RPG we were playing instead of my new life as some god chosen champion, I had forgiven her for lying to me about the whole “being a god” thing. In fact I spent more time than I’d like to admit just goofing off and fooling around with Ra like she was still the girl I meet at a department store who couldn’t find where the paint was instead of the all-powerful genderless super being that had decided to lead me to an early death to solve what to it must be a minor problem. What can I say, you don’t just suddenly stop caring for someone when you’re in love with them, apparently not even when you die.

After a lot of comfortable talk about random and meaningless things Ra finally spent some time explaining the does and don’ts of the new world I was heading to, gave me a long hug, then sent me off to reincarnate into a world of swords and sorcery with a kiss. I wasn’t even sure what our relationship was at that time, but I was devoted to the idea of finishing the task I had been given ASAP so I could get back to her.

Fast forward a decade or so and my time in the world of Gaia had disillusioned me to Ra and killed the vast majority of love I had for her, but then that might be because I blamed her for my having to grow up in a horrible orphanage. A few years and one life threatening theft of a sun disk later and I had learned to well and truly resent Ra for what she had done to me, and the fact she never stepped in to even just wish me well or talk had soured my opinion of the god beyond repair. So I ended up trying to think of Ra as little as I could in my life, but since I was uncontrollably compelled to steal a few highly protected artifacts for the god just trying not to think about things didn’t really help much.

But then I guess that’s what happens when you fall in love with a literal goddess, it ruins the very idea of love for you forever. Oh, and it also irreparably fucks up your life, can’t forget about that part…

***

I fell as my legs suddenly decided to stop working and I ended up faceplanting into a tree. Pushing myself and crawling with my arms to put myself into more of a slumped lean against the tree I let out a ragged breathe. “Hah… End of the line, huh? Well I did manage to get three of Ra’s relics, maybe a 60% will get me a place in a boring afterlife for eternity instead of soul destruction…” Closing my eyes I looked over the magic status menu thing Ra had given me 17 years ago.

Heh… Queen is still kicking, huh? Damn I almost feel bad for whatever’s in her way… Hey, maybe she’ll manage to kill the manticore before someone destroys her or she goes inactive! That would be fucking hilarious! Oh sorry grand master magus sir, I couldn’t call off my puppet before you and your men started chasing me. Oops… As I chuckled at the thought I noticed something slowly creeping closer towards me, my heart nearly stopped as I shoved the sun scroll into my inventory. Sighing in relief as the scroll seemed to just disappear into thin air the figure creeped closer and I was able to make out what it was. “Hahaha…” I’m going to get killed by a freaking slime? I spent all day fighting with highly trained warriors, mages, and a freaking tamed manticore and the thing to finally take me out is going to be a slime? Well at least I’ll have the best “how’d you die?” joke ever... That is, if I manage to get an afterlife…

My body was numb and I could hardly move when the slime got to me, as I closed my eyes I was grateful I couldn’t feel my legs anymore. I’d probably die before this small slime finishes dissolving anything else. Welp, Not gonna lie Ra, this life kinda sucked… Hey give me another shot with a respawn and I’ll try my hand at getting those last two artifacts for you… Or maybe you can throw me a fucking bone for once by just sending me of to heaven or whatever good place there is after death instead of reincarnating me and forcing me to do more shit for you… As I felt my consciousness begin to fade I tried looking through Queen’s eyes.

Suddenly the scythe in the one remaining hand was broken by a lucky swipe of the manticore’s huge clawed paws. Gracefully leaping back and grabbing the blade of the scythe while it was still in the air it stopped for a moment. Finish it Queen… Then burn it all… Having received the command it rushed forward without consideration for its own safety, not even bothering to avoid the manticore’s snapping and snarling jaws it let itself be bitten. As it was being slowly crushed in the manticore’s jaws it drove the scythe blade deep into the beast’s eye until the blade burst out the other side of the beast’s head. It’s mission complete Queen went limp before suddenly erupting in purple flames in the mouth of the dying manticore.

Good… Girl… Queen… I let out a soft breathe as all thought and sensation left me…

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