Schenecker wrote that she should have gone into the psych ward instead of being treated for alcohol or drug abuse. "I believe my brain is trashed," she wrote. She also wrote that no one came to help when she was in her room for seven weeks and that her former husband, Parker Schenecker, never taught the children compassion.

The notes became more difficult to read as the journaling continued, indicating that Schenecker was under the influence while she wrote.

"I don't think I could ever... recover or make up for my failures over the years," Evans continued to read. The notes show that Schenecker planned to take her own life by pills, carbon monoxide, and a gun, or a combination of the three. "I don't want to be saved, I'm ready to die," she wrote.

The chilling last words written in the journal were, "Take us home, Lord."

Later in the day, Parker Schenecker took the stand and said he had no reservations about leaving his now ex-wife as he prepared for impending deployment.

Showing no emotion as he testified, Parker said he asked Julie, "Are you going to be OK with me being gone for a couple weeks?"

He said she replied, "I got this."

Wednesday's proceedings ended shortly after 4:30 p.m.

Police say Schenecker fatally shot her teenagers in January 2011 while her then-husband was deployed overseas.

Schenecker's attorneys say their client was profoundly mentally ill and they plan to use an insanity defense.