Ladies and gentlemen, we officially have the first smart thing Ms. Rice has ever done. Who had March 14th in the pool? Word is had she decided to run, she would have selected here hair as a running mate.

Hmm, I wonder how the performed surgery on the tiny robot? Do they use other tiny robots? Once tiny robots can perform surgery on other tiny robots, what hope does humanity have? And if I hear one more time about how great a nanoprobe is for me...well, I'll just scream.

American Family Association continues their long, proud fight again diversity. Let's all hope they keep up the struggle! I mean, what is with all this acceptance of others and promotion of diversity that's been going on lately. I mean, dammit, if the founding fathers wanted all men to be created equal, they should have made some sort of Declaration about it. I mean, next we are just going to get all these immigrant types coming over...stupid tired and huddled masses. In related news, The American Family Association is considering changing its name to The American White Protestant Heterosexual Family Association

"And if I hear one more time about how great a nanoprobe is for me...well, I'll just scream."

For me it's the relentlessly upbeat prophecies of "intelligent" toilets that will analyze your . . . deposit and fire off an email to your doctor that you've been eating too much cheese. Who wants a whole generation of shy people crapping in the bushes?

This has nothing to do with the Cubs. Except that, as a description for their upcoming Season of Doom, a crap in the bushes is not the worst metaphor you could pick.