Smoke gets in your eyes

It was a surprise for Berr. Cooked meat, with a new tool that Eli called fire. Over many moons Kaya’s friend taught her how to make fire.

Berries and a fist of boar meat, which Eli gave to her, spread out on the rocky floor. A sound alerted her to Berr’s entrance. Dragging Eli by his hair, matted with blood. The light in his green eyes muted by death.

“You belong to me. No one else.” his voice echoed around the small cave. The smell of blood and roasted meat overwhelmed her. Kaya threw up, tears burning her eyes.

99 words

What an awesome, inspiring image! Certainly was challenging but I enjoyed writing this story that weaseled its way out onto my blog.

Written for Friday Fictioneers hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. The challenge is to write a story in 100 words or less. Submit it to the link (frog icon) below and read other flash fiction too.

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25 thoughts on “Smoke gets in your eyes”

Intriguing story. I liked the discovery of fire and the use to which it was put. I’m not sure whether you’re saying male dominance has always existed. You probably know, though they’re rarer, that there are gener equal societies in the record

Glad it appealed to you, Neil. I recall an article I read of viking warriors who were assumed to be male. Later, scientists realised they were female. My personal belief, is no gender should dominate another. Women are just as capable of domestic violence too. And not as rare as one might think. That said, male dominance is easier to apply in communities where brute strength prevails. And the existence of gender equal societies throughout history does not negate that male dominance has always existed, right?

Your story is graphic and vivid. I like the way you depict the eternal triangle. You show Eli and Kaya spending much time in each others company as Eli teaches her the secret of fire. Then Eli gives Kaya some boar’s meat that she cooks for Berr. What did Eli receive from Kaya? Was it Kaya’s conscience that made her cook a special meal for Berr?

Gosh, Penny I always look forward to your comments as you make me see things in my own story that I didn’t before! In this case, I think Kaya was simply trying to please her man. But he jumped to conclusions, and the wrong one at that.