The Dweebletter

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Friday, November 18, 2005

Friday SW Pics!

This study of Obi-Wan Kenobi by Iain McCaig -- done before Ewan McGregor had been cast in the role or Kenobi's age in Episode I had been defined -- uses the image of a young Alec Guinness as a foundation. EDITOR'S NOTE: DOESN'T HE LOOK A BIT LIKE KIEFFER SUTHERLAND HERE? EEK.

Cut from the theatrical release but found on the DVD is a scene that takes place in this environment, Bail Organa's office.

From his more private inner offices, Chancellor Palpatine has access to secret controls to spread his dark plans. EDITOR'S NOTE: NOT THAT HE COULDN'T 'SPREAD HIS DARK PLANS' FROM JUST ABOUT ANYWHERE....

Motée (Kristy Wright) is one of Padmé Amidala's loyal handmaidens tending to her during her secret pregnancy.EDITOR'S NOTE: GORGEOUS OUTFIT. (QUESTION....WAS HER NECK THAT LONG TO START WITH, OR ONLY AFTER LONG-TERM WEARING OF THAT GET-UP?)

Jay Shuster illustrates an assortment of Coruscant headgear.EDITOR'S NOTE: THIS IS WHY I LIVE ON CORUSCANT. GROOVY HATS.

A hardworking panning droid weathered by the elements of Mustafar, this automaton can also function as a much needed platform for dueling Sith Lords.

Dermot Power's exploration of the Geonosian execution arena beasts includes what he describes as a "traditional dinosaur creature."

Mercedes Ngoh (Rystáll) undergoes some last minute touch-ups for her scene in the Special Edition of Return of the Jedi.EDITOR'S NOTE: I THINK I FOUND A GREAT HALLOWEEN COSTUME! (WOULDN'T IT BE FUN TO TRY OUT THAT COOL BODY SPECKLING?!)

In a scene cut early on from the edit, the survivors of the Trade Federation cruiser crash were to exit from destroyed vessel onto a debris-strewn landing strip.

A direct from the HD-camera image of Ian McDiarmid (Palpatine) engaged in the momentous lightsaber duel with Samuel L. Jackson (Mace Windu).EDITOR'S NOTE: EVEN WITHOUT THE CG SURROUNDINGS, THIS IS SCARY. (SUBTITLED --- WHY YOU HIRE BRITISH THEATER GUYS; THEY DON'T NEED NO STINKIN CG!)

This concept sketch of an AT-AT walker's cockpit by Nilo Rodis Jamero includes a very different looking AT-AT pilot.

This concept illustration by Ken Ralston appears to have Jabba hooked up to a wide variety of strange appliances.EDITOR'S NOTE: I'M HAVING A VERY BAD "DUNE" (THE MOVIE) FLASHBACK. SHUDDER.....

Director Richard Marquand, George Lucas, and Art Director Norman Reynolds inspect a skeletal maquette of Jabba's barge to determine how to shoot the exciting Pit of Carkoon battle sequence.

Bail Organa (Jimmy Smits) and his aide Sateen Vestswe (Scott Mewett) find security on Coruscant increasingly harder to bypass in a brief scene cut from Episode III. EDITOR'S NOTE: WHY DID PRINCESS LEIA NEVER MENTION THAT HER ADOPTED DADDY WAS SUCH A HOTTIE? (I MEAN, SHE KISSED HER BROTHER ON THE LIPS, SO WHY NOT GO THE DISTANCE AND MAKE OOKIE COMMENTS ABOUT HER DAD, TOO?)

A Galactic Marine that serves with Commander Bacara and General Ki-Adi-Mundi on Mygeeto.EDITOR'S NOTE: IT'S A WONDER THEY COULD SEE AND BREATHE WELL ENOUGH TO SHOOT OUR HERO JEDI IN THE BACKS. (GRR)

Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) does not respond well to a request from Padmé (Natalie Portman) that he bring up diplomatic resolutions to the Chancellor.

The death and births that occur in the Polis Massa medical center are just a few of the secrets R2-D2 will carry with him for years.

At the height of the war, people around the galaxy had heard legendary tales of adventure, starring Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) and Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor).EDITOR'S NOTE: THEY WERE THE NOVELA STARS OF THEIR TIME.

The Prop Department made this set of electrobinoculars for a scene cut from the film -- Obi-Wan Kenobi was originally going to spy on General Grievous with this device. EDITOR'S NOTE: KINDA LIKE ALL THOSE AD PLANS I DO FOR CLIENTS THAT END UP NOT IMPLEMENTING THEM. POOOOOR PROP DEPARTMENT; I FEEL YOUR PAIN.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Disney on my Mind

EDITOR'S NOTE: YES, THESE ARE LIFTED LOCK, STOCK, AND YOUKNOWWHAT FROM THE DISNEY PROMO MACHINE. BUT HAVEN'T WE ALL DRUNK THE DISNEY KOOLAID BY NOW? ARE WE, ANY OF US, FIGHTING IT ANY MORE?BEHIND THE CONSTRUCTION WALLS AT EXPEDITION EVERESTTHE LATEST ATTRACTION AT DISNEY'S ANIMAL KINGDOM NEARS COMPLETIONImagineer Joe Rohde has been a very busy guy; we caught up with him when he had just returned from China, was about to fly to Tibet, and in between he's been frantically working on the finishing touches to the biggest thing to hit Disney's Animal Kingdom since the addition of the Asia land back in 1999.

Joe gave us an inside peek at what to expect next spring, when the first brave Guests set out on an expedition into the heart of the Himalayas, and embark on a collision course with the legendary yeti itself.

The first thing Guests should know is that Expedition Everest is going to be one wild ride.

"Expedition Everest is definitely a thrill ride. It does have good speeds and forces, comparable to Rock ‘n' Roller Coaster," Joe explains. EDITOR'S NOTE: OK. YOU GO ON IT FIRST, JOEL, AND THEN TELL ME IF I'M GOING TO YOUKNOWWHAT.

Beautiful but beware -- Expedition Everestwill be packed with thrills!

Detailed stories and immersive experiences are a hallmark of Disney theme park attractions, and Expedition Everest will not disappoint. Joe gave us the full scoop.

"The premise is that we, the Guests, are Expedition Everest. We've arrived on this particular day in this little Tibetan town in the foothills of the Himalayas. And the little trekking company that we've engaged is going to get us on this train, which they've just refurbished. It used to be the train that served the tea plantations in the Himalayan foothills - they've refurbished it to get us to Everest really, really fast. But to do that, we have to go through the realm of the yeti. And traditional Tibetan thought holds the yeti to be the protector of the hidden and forbidden reaches of the Himalayas. So the yeti is doing his job as defender of the mountains when we encounter him on our train journey, attempting to get to Everest.And it ends up being that we now have to escape from the wrath of the yeti and make our way back to town in this high-speed escape adventure."EDITOR'S NOTE: GLAD THEY HAVE A BACK-STORY. CAUSE CLIMBING AN ENORMOUS MOUNTAIN IN ONE OF THE MOST STRIKINGLY SCENIC PARTS OF THE WORLD PROBABLY ISN'T ENOUGH.

The thrills will be there in plenty, but Joe is proudest of the incredible detail that is going into creating the world of Expedition Everest for Guests to explore.

"It feels like you are in the Himalayas," he promises.

And having just returned from those peaks himself, Joe should know.

Many of the painstaking details of Nepalese and Tibetan culture that appear in the attraction's environment are modeled on what he and his colleagues have encountered on the Mission Himalayas expeditions, as well as years of other research.

"This region we were just in has a very powerful living oral tradition of the yeti as the protector of the forest. So we adopted a lot of that attitude to put our ride together," says Joe. "And many of the details we saw there can be seen all across the Himalayas, so we picked them up from other places. There's some architectural color, some props, and there's a little area in the standby queue where we're going to talk about the actual expedition - what we discovered, where we went, that kind of thing."

Expedition Everest will be unique among Disney Park attractions in that Guests choosing the Fast Pass or standby queues will pass through very different areas and have different experiences.

"The standby queue for this ride is a spectacular environment. It takes you around a pagoda temple that was actually designed and produced for us by Nepalese wood carvers. It's completely covered with various images of the yeti, and I believe it's the only structure of its kind in North America," Joe explains. "It's very impressive, and there's scene after scene that takes you through the experience as if you were booking a trip, then traveling through this little town on your way to the train in the Himalayas.

Joe traveled to the Himalayas toresearch the attraction.

"The Fast Pass people are treated a little differently, even within the story, in that they're assumed to have already done most of that, so they're on a ‘fast track.' They get their permits stamped in the permit office, and then they kind of blow through a little mountaineering equipment place, and then they're on the train. So depending on which line you choose, you're enveloped in the story in different ways." EDITOR'S NOTE: DIFFERENT ENOUGH TO BE WORTH STANDING IN LINE FOR AN HOUR?

In keeping with the best Imagineering tradition, Joe won't divulge whether there are any Hidden Mickeys along the way - but he did give us a few tips for details to watch out for.

"There are many many portrayals of the yeti spread through this village, reflecting this idea of the yeti as a kind of protector of the environment. Just looking for those alone, you could spend an hour." EDITOR'S NOTE: WHICH IS, COINCIDENTALLY, HOW LONG YOU WILL BE STANDING THERE LOOKING AT THE 'ENVIRONMENT'.

Although Expedition Everest looks tantalizingly complete to passersby, there's plenty to finish before it opens to Guests.

"We're installing props in the buildings, doing little finishing paint touches in the buildings. We're installing the yeti into the great cavern where the yeti lives, and we're running the ride around the track and testing it to see how it works and testing the special effects to see how they work," Joe says.

So far the only ones lucky enough to ride Expedition Everest are specially shaped water buckets designed to simulate the attraction's effects on people of different sizes - "sort of like a jerry can with a waist," as Joe describes them. "You seatbelt them in and fill them with water to represent the weight of different humans, and then they get to ride over and over and over. I'm sure they're very happy, thrilled little water buckets!"EDITOR'S NOTE: EXCEPT FOR THE WATER BUCKET WITH PINK SOCKS; SHE'S FEELING NAUSEOUS.

Come spring, Guests will get a chance to encounter the yeti for themselves - and see if "happy" and "thrilled" are the order of the day.

Curtin global marketing vp at Disney Parks

Chris Curtin, who last month ended his tenure as general manager of the Muppets Holding Co., was named vp global marketing at Walt Disney Parks and Resorts. Curtin had run the Muppets since the Walt Disney Co. bought them from the Jim Henson Co. in April 2004, though he was let go from that position when the unit was folded on a more formal basis into Disney's consumer products division. A onetime special assistant to former Disney CEO Michael Eisner, Curtin's new role will have him directing marketing initiatives with a new-media twist, including advertising the Disney theme parks on TiVo and mobile devices.

KERMIT MEETS KERMITKERMIT CELEBRATES HIS 50TH IN THE PERFECT SPOTIt's not easy being green - but it does have certain compensations.

For one, Kermit the Frog, who turns 50 this year, doesn't look a day over 22.

For another, he got a grand welcome to kick off his anniversary celebration in a town that could have been made for him.

Kermit, Texas, turned out in force to celebrate with Kermie.

Kermit coworker Debbie McClellan accompanied the famous frog on his pilgrimage to the small Texas town, population around 5,700, and told us about the festivities.

"We wanted to find a place for Kermit to visit that was either green or had something to do with Kermit the Frog. When we found Kermit, Texas, it just took off from there!" she says.

The people of Kermit welcomed the birthday boy with open arms. He read stories to local school children, met the mayor, received a key to the city, and found his visage painted on the town's water tower. He also got to ride in the Kermit homecoming parade, and even crowned the Kermit High homecoming queen. EDITOR'S NOTE: CAREFUL, KERMIE. MISS P WILL BE JEALOUS!

Kermit celebrates with the people ofKermit, Texas.

Debbie had nearly as much fun as Kermit - although there is no water tower in her honor.

"There were two really special moments," she says. "The first when Kermit was introduced at the press conference and I was on the stage and the town cheered -- the stage literally shuddered from the amount of noise that was made. The second was at the end of the day when Kermit was signing autographs, a woman said to us, 'you have no idea what this has done for our town, this was so special and it was something that brought us together.' That was really moving." EDITOR'S NOTE: AWWWW....KERMIE IS DA MAN, UM, I MEAN, FROG.

Kermit keeps an eye on his namesake town fromatop the water tower.

Debbie assures us that the Kermit we know from film and TV is the real deal - no Hollywood hotshot.

"Kermit the Frog is everything you would want him to be, cute, modest, and sweet. What you see on TV is what you get. No prima donna there ... but Miss Piggy is another story!"EDITOR'S NOTE: WATCH IT; DON'T BE PICKIN ON MY HEROINE! (THE DIVINE MISS P!)

Kermit's first 50 years have been eventful ones, taking him from humble beginnings as part of a Washington, D.C., local children's television show called "Sam and Friends" all the way to international stardom and his current status as part of the Disney family.

His recent starring role in "The Muppets' Wizard of Oz," coupled with the DVD release of the first season of "The Muppet Show," prove once again that the plucky frog is truly evergreen.

Kermie will be taking a break from the silver screen for the time being to continue his travels - current plans include a trip to Pamplona for the annual running of the bulls ("I thought they said bullFROGS," he has confessed), a visit to the Great Wall of China, and even - gulp! - a guest appearance at a Frog Leg Festival in Fellesmere, Florida.

Debbie will accompany him throughout. "Needless to say I'm thrilled," she says. "I never get tired meeting people who feel an affinity for this frog and how he can make everyone from ages 2 to 99 smile." EDITOR'S NOTE: AND WHAT A GREAT GIG SHE HAS, HUH?!

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Back, etc ---- Upcoming DVD excitement

EDITOR'S NOTE: IF THIS FIRST ITEM DOESN'T TERRIFY, YOU ARE MADE OF VERY STERN STUFF.

'Donny and Marie' to get DVD releaseDonny Osmond, the man of many comebacks, is returning to the spotlight again, this time on DVD.

Panacea Entertainment has cut a deal with R2 Entertainment to bring to DVD all 72 hours of the "Donny and Marie" show, the 1970s variety series that paired the singing idol with his kid sister.

The first installment, with nine hours of highlights, will be released in April and will be sold by R2 through direct-response and traditional retail. Osmond will personally host the direct-response campaign. Osmond is in the midst of sifting through hours of programming from the show, which was on the air from 1976-79 and was nominated for three Emmys and one Golden Globe.

EDITOR'S NOTE: SHUDDER.... AND NOW FOR ONE I REALLY REALLY WANT ---

SERENITY Slated for Christmas

Amazon.com has recently posted the cover art for the SERENITY DVD, which will be released on December 20th.

The suggested retail price is $29.98.

The disc will feature:

Subtitles: English, Spanish, French Dolby Digital 5.1

Commentary by: Writer/Director Joss Whedon

Deleted scenes and outtakes

Future History: The Story of Earth That Was

What's in a Firefly

Re-Lighting the Firefly Joss Whedon Introduction

EDITOR'S NOTE: AND WHILE WE'RE TALKIN JOSS.....

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER Collector Set

The BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER series arrives in all new limited edition 40-disc collectors’ case on November 15, 2005 from Fox Home Entertainment.

The DVD collection features a one-hour documentary on the special edition bonus disc, a collectible book and a letter personally signed by creator Joss Whedon.

In the BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER Collector’s Set, for the first time all seven seasons – 144 episodes – are beautifully packaged together with a rare artwork case for the ultimate slayer fan.

Winner of several honors and accolades, including three Saturn Best Network Television Series Awards and six Emmy® nominations, BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER became a television phenomenon for seven seasons; as it formed the tales of a group of friends who warded off forces of evil in an attempt to save humanity.

The 40-disc BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER Collector’s Set is available for the suggested retail price of $199.98 U.S./$349.98 Canada.

*Each episode is presented with English Dolby Surround, Spanish Dolby Surround and French Dolby Surround.

CORPSE BRIDE

Set in a 19th century European village, this stop-motion, animated feature follows the story of Victor (voiced by JOHNNY DEPP), a young man who is whisked away to the underworld and wed to a mysterious Corpse Bride, while his real bride, Victoria, waits bereft in the land of the living. Though life in the Land of the Dead proves to be a lot more colorful than his strict Victorian upbringing, Victor learns that there is nothing in this world, or the next, that can keep him away from his one true love.

The DVD is filled with ghoulishly delightful Special Features:Inside the Two Worlds: Includes interviews, behind-the-scenes footage, and production drawings.

The Animators - The Breath of Life: Find out how an animator approaches his character's motivation and why individual animators possess unique skills.

Back with a Vengeance ---- Heeeeeerrre's HARRY

EDITOR'S NOTE: A FRIEND GOT TO SEE A SNEAK PEEK OF GOF. LUCKY FRIEND. (SHE INVITED ME, BUT I HAD A SHOW. MEAN SHOW). SHE DIDN'T LIKE GOF QUITE AS MUCH AS THE FIRST THREE HP FLICKS. BUT SHE IS NOT A TRUE DWEEB, SO WE WILL RESERVE JUDGEMENT.PLUS, SHE GOT ME A FREE POSTER, SO ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD.

Harry Potter Special on A&EThe hour-long show will air on November 17th at 10 PM EDITOR'S NOTE: EST, I BELIEVE. and will feature new clips from Goblet and interviews with its stars. The special will also delve into the growth of Harry, Ron and Hermione throughout the books.

EDITOR'S NOTE: THIS NEXT ONE IS SO SNARKY AND WONDERFUL ALL ON ITS OWN, THAT NO COMMENTARY IS REQUIRED. (I BOW BEFORE A MASTER....)BE FOREWARNED.....IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IN BOOK SIX, AND DON'T WANT TO KNOW....SKIP THIS ONE; PLOT POINTS ARE ALLUDED TO.

The most terrifying moments in any professor’s semester arrive at the end of it, when we are required to place instructor evaluation sheets before our pupils. Then the administration makes us leave the room while the pupils tear us into little tiny bits, which means we’re not allowed smile encouragingly from behind the Podium of Power, or pace the desks to see what the students are writing, or brandish cupcakes, or for that matter small firearms. I usually go out in the hallway and drink.

I wish I could handle the situation more like Severus Snape might. There would be none of this smiley-smiley “I’ve enjoyed teaching all of you” business for Snape, who would deliver unto all one final glare before retiring to his dungeon for a relaxing evening of poking baby kittens with a stick.

And when the evaluations were compiled, Professor Snape wouldn’t open the horrible manila envelope with the anything approaching the nausea I do (although at Hogwarts, such documents are probably delivered via — I don’t know — a four-headed panda with a rooster tail that explodes on human contact.) Instead, there would be Bach on the stereo, red-pen corrections of all abused grammar in the “turn this paper over to make additional comments” section, and in general a great deal of smirking.

Yes, I must apply mad props to Snape, who is a far snappier dresser than your average professor. I don’t know what Dumbledore was paying Severus, but it was apparently enough to keep him in the latest offerings of the Johnny Cash Collection. I myself often fling open the classroom door looking like a person who just fell out of an episode of “Little House on the Prairie” or a Cyndi Lauper video or both. But Snape, here’s a man who dressed for occult success; you can’t swing an appointment as an instructor in Defence Against Dark Arts when you’re trolling the halls in a teal cardigan and loafers. It’s all black, all the time, which must have made laundry day a simple affair. (“I’m doing another load of darks — anybody want to throw in a cape? No? Turtleneck?”)

Snape of the Super Sized withering glareSnape does not suffer student excuses lightly. As opposed to me, who last semester nodded in sympathy when a student called to announce that he could not turn in his final paper because, quote, “there was a homicide at my apartment complex and the police aren’t letting anybody in or out.” Snape would not nod. Snape would want the crime scene photos for the yearbook.

My students receive a happy, free-of-charge smile face sticker on exams scoring 95 percent or above, whereas if you scored an A with Snape, you might be rewarded with merely a medium-sized withering glare rather than the usual Super Sized one. I have much to learn from his methods, as I doubt that Snape is often besieged with students screeching at him that of course they should have gotten an A on this essay, as they have gotten As on every single possible evaluation since gaining the ability to breathe independently. Their mothers scored 100 percent in Lamaze classes! Thanks to their own excellence as a fetus! None of this would work on Snape, who majored in Being Sinister and seems to fear the sun and all its evil, melanin-producing properties.

Then again, a Potions Master can manage things likely out of the reach of your average English teacher; for one, it has not yet occurred to me to settle disputes with my department chair via jets of deadly green light. The whole episode — this business of killing off the headmaster — cannot look good on the Professor’s resume. Who’s he going to use for a reference now? Voldemort? And how might one reach a person who cannot be named? Does he also have a daytime phone number that cannot be named?

I imagine Hogwarts had some sort of COBRA arrangement for this type of situation. I have no idea what kind of benefits Snape was pulling down before he likely voided his HMO’s teleportation rider by vanishing midair, but good luck filing a claim, sport.

So Blue Cross and Blue Shield might not want to have much to do with Snape, and I suspect he prefers it that way. Snape is not what you would call a “people person”; he is more of a That Guy At the End Of the Bar who sinks into the same Scotch on the rocks for four hours and won’t smile and won’t dance and won’t play pool or even boo at the refs screwing up the Notre Dame game. The man is a brooder, and more power to him. Teachers who brood rarely receive repeat customers on Parent-Teacher Conference night (“Your Billy is a full-blown moron, I’m afraid, and deserves nothing less than spontaneous combustion … are you crying? Fifty points from Gryffindor!”) I doubt Snape has many visitors during office hours, and that … is totally okay with him. More time to sharpen the kitten-poking sticks.

This is not to say that Snape doesn’t care about his students’ education, in a sarcastic, uncheerful, I-hate-you fashion. He’ll even save a life here and there, as long as you don’t try to hug him or talk to him or walk within a five-mile radius of him afterwards.

I say it’s something far more painful and obvious: The poor man has greasy hair. You just can’t live happily like that. Invest in some Pantene Pro-V, Severus. You’ll feel better in the morning, sun or no sun.

Freelance writer and teacher Mary Beth Ellis runs http://www.blondechampagne.com/, which is crammed with examples of what a fantastic teacher she is, including the time she informed an entire roomful of students that if people did not start bringing their textbooks to class, they would fail her course and get tossed out of the university and never get a job and wander the Earth licking Tootsie Pop wrappers for sustenance, forever.

EDITOR'S NOTE: MARY BETH ELLIS IS NOW MY NEW FAVORITE PERSON IN THE WORLD. FUNNY LADY. (I GUESS TEACHING DRIVES YOU TO ALL SORTS OF WIT AND WISDOM, GAINED BY INHALING TOO MUCH CHALK DUST NO DOUBT).

Michael GambonDumbledore on the latest Harry Potter filmHe is one of Britain's most respected stage actors and a man with a career most thesps would kill for. But none of that mattered a damn to the world's teens and tweenies until he stepped in to the late Richard Harris' shoes as the immensely powerful, immensely eccentric Professor Dumbledore, to act as headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

We talk to Michael Gambon about not acting, the misery of beards, being mistaken for Gandalf and playing practical jokes on Johnny Depp…

Are you kind of easing into the role a bit more now you have done one film as Dumbledore?I just play him as myself, I don’t ease myself into any role really. I stick a beard on and play me. Every part I play is just a variant of my own personality. No real character actor, of course, just me.

What makes Dumbledore the greatest wizard of all time?I have no idea. I learn the lines that JK Rowling or whoever writes them, and say them. There’s no subtext in Harry Potter really; it’s all magic, anything can happen. Why do I say this? Because it’s a magic spell. It’s quite nice in a way. There is a real freedom to it. Doesn’t say much for acting does it?

Is it fun working with Francis De La Tour and other actors of your generation?Oh yeah, Frankie’s from the theatre and I mainly do the theatre. I’ve played Maggie (Smith)'s husband three times in various films, TV and plays. So it is like going on holiday everyday; you muck about. Except having this stuck on (gestures to beard) really makes your life miserable. It’s dreadful. Then they put the moustache on just before the take, which is the worst bit. Thank god, I’ve never had to eat anything yet. The main problem is gluing the beard on. It takes 15 minutes, but I could have a really complicated scene to play and worry more about the beard. Have you still not read any of the books?Well, I don’t see any point. I’ve got the scripts. People who have read the books get miserable because of all the bits that have been cut out. So I just read the script. That's the best way. How does this one feel different with Mike Newell in charge?Well, Alfonso was great. He was like a kid. So the children loved him and we used to have fun and games. Mike, who I have never worked with before, is similar. He likes throwing things in the air and changing conventions. I think that is what Warner Brothers want. We had a big scene in the hall, where Dumbledore speaks about the new term, in all the films. That has become a bit standard so Mike changed it, I now walk among the kids at the tables. I leave the lectern. It’s stuff like that that kicks it up the arse a bit.

Do you have an input yourself?You can do what you like really, and they say, “Don’t do that.” The other day I grabbed two kids round the neck, fondly, and did a scene like that and Mike said, “Oh, leave it in.” It frees it up a bit. Yesterday I did a scene where I get hugged by this great big guy, from middle Europe. I play it as though he has broken my ribs, to get a few laughs, you know?Do you get on with the kids?The kids are remarkable, really remarkable. I’m not saying that because I am in the bloody films. I mean Daniel is so cool and with it. He is unfazed by anything. The great luck was to get that boy I think, because he is terrific.

You seem really busy in movies at the moment.I am a theatre actor, but the last ten years I’ve taken parts in movies because it keeps me in money. I easily forget what film it is. So it is all very nice, but it is like water being thrown over you. With this, it is just a sense of having fun, and it is very technical blue screen work… I have to work with Frankie today, and she’s playing a giantess, and I can’t be in the same frame as her because the technical details of making it. It’s fun.

Do kids approach you on the street when you haven’t got your beard on?No, they don’t. But a kid came up to me the other day, though, and says, “Gandalf can I have your autograph?” and I said, “Piss off!”EDITOR'S NOTE: SO MUCH FOR THAT STEREOTYPE OF THE ERUDITE, HYPER-ARTICULATE BRIT, EH?

Do you get fan letters?Hundreds. They warned me about that. They come from all over the world. Germany, America… all over. I do reply to them.

What is the perfect balance for you between TV, movies and theatre?Well, time flies so quickly. I promise myself that I would go and do a play every year. Television has dried up for my generation, so it's plays and films. You get used to being lazy doing films, but classical theatre's going to finish me off.

Now Johnny Depp tells us that you were something of a practical joker on the set of Sleepy Hollow.Well, he can shout! I haven’t had time. Only last year when Alfonso and I shoved a fart machine in Harry Potter’s sleeping bag. Johnny is constantly using fart machines. My best thing on Johnny Depp was they built this village on this country estate and it is the only place the Queen can ride a horse from Windsor without going on public roads. The Queen passed once and everyone was gobsmacked; she had her entourage with her. Next to her was a friend on mine called Henry Herbert who died last year. He was the 17th Earl of Pembrook and a film director. As they went past Henry shouted, “Hello, Mike!” and I shouted, “Hello, Henry, how are you mate?” The Queen waved like she was talking to me, and on they went. And, of course, Johnny Depp was speechless. He said, “You know her?” I said, “Yes, she’s a mate of mine.” He believed me. Such serendipity! You couldn’t want for a better fake. “I always nip round for a cup of tea,” you know? But we can’t muck about in this one, it is too busy, there is too much at stake. It is east to fool about in the theatre, in a movie you can’t. Apart from with Johnny Depp. Do you go over to Hollywood yourself?When I get a job, yes. Last time was when I played President Lyndon Johnson a couple of years ago. I was over there for five months. Imagine playing an American president sitting there surrounded by American actors, mumbling at me! Horrible feeling. Of course, when I stopped acting, I immediately went to a cockney accent. That made ‘em laugh.EDITOR'S NOTE: OF COURSE LBJ HAD A TEXAS ACCENT. WHICH ISN'T REALLY ENGLISH EITHER.

Are you quite content to see the series out?These films? I think so; I haven’t really thought about it. They are such mammoth films that, apart from Daniel, each contributing actor isn’t used that much. This film has taken a year to shoot, I think, but I feel as if I have hardly been here. I do two days and then you have month and then you have a day. In terms of making more, I’d be happy to. How much funnier is Mike Newell direction to Alfonso’s?The films are quite different, but that is to do with the writing, not Alfonso or Mike. I got a few laughs in yesterday. Maybe that is why kids like Dumbledore, because he is funny, rather than a miserable old sod with a long white beard. EDITOR'S NOTE: THE VOTE IS STILL OUT ON GAMBON AS DUMBLEDORE. BUT SO FAR HE HAS PLAYED HIM TRUER TO BOOK ONE THAN HARRIS DID, BUT TOO DIPPY FOR THE SUCCEEDING BOOKS. THE STORY GETS MORE SERIOUS, AND THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TWINKLE AND TWINKIE.

Do you ever get frustrated with him, because he never seems to explain anything to anybody?There is a lot of exposition in the part, which is bit difficult at times, but I don’t mind. Does it remind of your own school days at all?Apart from the spells, that is…There were certainly no spells at my school. More like a smack in the mouth.

EDITOR'S NOTE: HERE'S WHAT WE'RE ALL ABOUT. EQUAL OPPORTUNITY. FAIR PLAY. LETTING SILLY, WHINY PEOPLE HAVE THEIR SAY. KEEP ALL OF THAT IN MIND WHEN YOU READ THIS NEXT ITEM. (AND FEEL NOBLE AND SUPERIOR WHILST YOU READ) ----

Rage against the Harry Potter machine One film critic has had more than enough of everyone's favorite boy wizardCOMMENTARYBy Dave WhiteMSNBC contributorUpdated: 5:31 p.m. ET Nov. 15, 2005

Because I’m a film critic, between now and the end of the year I have something like 200 movies I have to see. Okay lie. It’s more like 50. But still, 50 movies is a lot. And I’m not here to complain about seeing movies for a living. I’m excited about some of them.

“Transamerica” sounds kind of cool and weird, what with “Desperate Housewives” star Felicity Huffman getting a sex-change in it and all. “The Chronicles of Narnia” has my favorite anti-star, Tilda Swinton, in it, so I’m down for whatever she does. Terrence Malick’s “The New World” should be really, really slow and pretty, the kind of movie that probably took months to shoot because he’s such a maniac for things to be gorgeous — taking a whole day to shoot wind blowing a perfectly composed color combination of dead leaves across a road. I mean, I’m not saying he did that. But he probably would. I want to see “The Ringer,” too, that one with Johnny Knoxville pretending to have Down’s Syndrome so he can compete in the Special Olympics. You thought I was kind of high-brow until just now, I bet. EDITOR'S NOTE: IS PRETENTIOUS THE SAME AS HIGH-BROW? SMIRK....

Enough of the boy wizardBut “Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire” is not what I’m about at this particular moment.

And here’s why:

I’m beat-down by all the mandatory wizardry. It’s been five years of this very special magic boy and his magic friends and their fantastical Hogwartsing and Quidditching and wand-stroking and muggle-whatevering. It’s been five years of seeing them all on the cover of Vanity Fair and Time and Entertainment Weekly and witnessing armored trucks delivering loads of each new book and watching people ripping into the boxes of them like they’re Wonka Bars with a golden ticket inside.

I’ve had to deal with friends who are freaked out that I just sort of gave up on the third book and didn’t bother to read the fourth one or the fifth one or the sixth one, hearing them go on and on about this particular series but never hearing them get that wound up about any other book or film. I’ve seen grown-ups in Gryffindor sweatshirts and had the disturbing awareness of the existence of Harry Potter slash fiction (any kids reading this, you don’t need to know what slash fic is —just forget I mentioned it). I’ve seen the billboards in the air and the busses on the ground covered in giant bus-sized eye-level billboards and TV commercials and tie-in candies that taste like dirt and vomit and Christmas tree ornaments. I’ve watched Daniel Radcliffe go through puberty with Oprah and Conan and Regis and Total Request Live and the sheer existence-crushing cultural pressure to conform and like it all.

And I’m done.

Here was the last straw.

I just heard last week, from an “industry” pal who must remain nameless, a story about how many zits (what they’d call “spots” at Hogwarts) had to be digitally erased from the new movie.

It’s not true, of course. Or what if it is? They’re all 16 years old or thereabouts. Kids get zits. And these kids are megastars, each probably equipped with their own personal dermatologist on 24-hour standby.

But it was Hollywood Gossip and therefore actual important information I needed to know. And the craziest feature of this bit of fake-out complexion reportage was its delivery to me in super-secret-double-probation hushed tones, as though these kids had been discovered with track marks on their arms or nabbed by paparazzi hanging out with Kate Moss. There is someone out there, more than one someone, in fact, who can’t get enough of breaking news like this, fabricated or un. But it was the last crack in my I-can-endure-any-amount-of-showbiz-silliness-because-it’s-my-job armor. I was officially and formally Harry Potter-Fatigued. EDITOR'S NOTE: WHAT DOES THE OVER-HYPED, OVER-STARSTRUCK, OVER BS'D HOLLYWOOD REPORTAGE HAVE TO DO WITH HARRY POTTER? THE BOOKS OR THE MOVIES. KINDA THROWING THE BABY OUT WITH THE BATHWATER, AREN'T WE? AND SINCE WHEN DOES HARRY POTTER HAVE A MONOPOLY ON OVER-SATURATION, OR MINUTIA-MINING? (GOSH, NONE OF THOSE ART-HOUSE FAVES EVER RESORT TO HYPE...TERRENCE MALIK, ANYONE?)

Haters unite!

I found I wasn’t alone.

I spoke to my friend Lydia Popovich who runs the cranky cult website Hater Tuesday, an online haven for the culturally disgusted, about my personal dilemma as a member of the media hype machine who is already worn out by the tornado of publicity and product synergy and embarrassed by my professional participation in it.

Hell, this entire article is a part of that machine. I should be ashamed of myself for writing it, now that I think about it. EDITOR'S NOTE: YES YOU SHOULD. BUT NOT BECAUSE IT FEEDS THE HARRY POTTER BEAST; ONLY BECAUSE IT IS MORE CLAPTRAP ADDED TO THE CACOPHONY.

Lydia felt my pain. “I’m sick of that s--t, too, especially if you helped make even a little bit of it happen” she said, “But my real problem is the kids. Not the kids in the movie. Not the actors. The kids in the movie theater. There’s like hella kids in those theaters. I can’t get down with that. I’d have to sedate myself so much I’d fall asleep, which is what happened when I went to see the first one. So I never went back to see the others. The whole thing is like being sold a big Diet Coke that never gets empty.” EDITOR'S NOTE: HOW SAD. BITTER AND STUPID. SHE ISN'T EVEN USING HER ANGST FOR WIT.This is true. Harry Potter is not simply a character in a kid’s book anymore. Harry Potter is a multinational corporation and he’s spying on you in order to market himself to you more effectively. You will have the Diet Coke with his face on the can and you will think about his magic. You’ll feel that magic with every sip and you’ll come back to that Diet Coke for more magical Harry feelings later, kind of like how actual Diet Coke makes you hungry and then thirsty for more Diet Coke. Soon you’re like a really dumb dog chasing its own tail until you pass out. EDITOR'S NOTE: IN POINT OF FACT, HARRY IS ONE OF THE LEAST EXPLOITED FRANCHISES OUT THERE. RELATIVELY SPEAKING. AND I'M BETTING THIS GUY KNOWS ALL ABOUT BEING A REALLY DUMB DOG CHASING ITS TAIL TILL IT PASSES OUT. (APOLOGIES TO ANY DOGS READING THIS).

So it’s time to get off the ride. It’s time to resist the onslaught. I have no choice in the matter. I work for The Man. But you do. You can skip it all. Pretend there is no boy wizard for a while until you really feel the need to read about him or see his movie. That’s what all this fiction is supposed to have helped you do anyway, right? Help you pretend? So it’ll be easy. During your Harry vacation you can go discover other stories on your own without anyone’s help. And if you decide to revisit Pottersville some day when you’re ready again you can check one of the books out of the library and or borrow one of your neighbor’s DVDs and enjoy it a few autumns from now, under a blanket with a cup of cocoa, in silence, alone. It’ll be all magical.

Dave White has a blog called Dave White Knows at www.livejournal.com/users/djmrswhite. Rabid Harry-philes looking to start a battle with him will be automatically redirected to http://www.hatertuesday.com/.EDITOR'S NOTE: NO SENSE HAVING A FIGHT WITH A BRICK WALL. HE'S HAPPY IN HIS SMALL-SCALE, IGNORANT, SELF-IMPORTANT LITTLE WORLD. AND WE ARE HAPPY OUT HERE IN THE BIG, SHINY, HAPPY (HARRY-INCLUSIVE) UNIVERSE.IT ALL WORKS OUT IN THE END.....CLEANSING THE PALATE ----Dan Radcliffe on the cover of Entertainment WeeklyThe next issue of Entertainment Weekly (out this Monday) EDITOR'S NOTE: MEA BADDA...LAST MONDAY.... will feature Daniel Radcliffe on the cover. The issue will also contain a Q&A with the actor and a short interview with producer David Heyman

Back with a Vengeance ---- TV News

EDITOR'S NOTE: MORE CATCHING UP....CBS Puts 'CSI: Miami' Twist OnlineFOLLOWING NEXT MONDAY NIGHT'S BROADCAST of "CSI: Miami," CBS will lure viewers to CBS.com to watch an original bonus scene, featuring a plot twist that will not be revealed to television viewers until later in the season, CBS said Tuesday. The General Motors' Hummer brand of trucks is the exclusive sponsor of the bonus scene page, and will actually appear in the bonus scene, which is approximately two minutes.

All through "CSI: Miami"'s last three seasons as well as the current season, GM's hummer has been a prominent online and television sponsor, and has featured throughout as the "official crime scene vehicle."

Other bonus material produced by CBS.com includes footage from recent behind-the-scenes footage, and interviews with cast and crew members.

Nearly all of CBS's advertisers are looking into online options, according to Linda René, CBS's senior vice president of prime-time sales. "This is a relatively customized deal with Hummer, but we have online extensions for many of our television partners," said René.

CBS has recently been conducting similar tests with its prime-time content online. In early November, CBS agreed to make three entire episodes of its sci-fi series "Threshold" available at CBS.com for three days each.

Rent Advance from StarzStarz Cinema will be early with its Rent.

The network will air a sneak peek of exclusive footage from Revolution Studios’ movie adaptation of Broadway musical Rent under terms of an agreement between Revolution, Columbia Pictures and Starz Entertainment Group LLC.

During Starz Cinema’s Stage to Screen Wednesday, Nov. 23 at 6 p.m. (EST/PST), the network will feature exclusive content including behind-the-scenes footage and the world television premiere of a musical number from the Rent movie performed by the cast, many of whom played the same roles in the original Broadway production.

“Starz wants to bring the entire movie experience to our viewers, and this partnership with Revolution Studios and Columbia Pictures is a wonderful way to do so,” Starz Entertainment senior vice president of program acquisitions Stephan Shelanski said in a prepared statement.

“The Stage to Screen special offers viewers a chance to see movie adaptations of several Broadway favorites, plus the opportunity to see footage from Rent that is only available on Starz Cinema,” he added.

'E-Ring' fit for full seasonNBC has given a full-season order to the new drama "E-Ring," while another freshman drama, "Night Stalker," has been canceled by ABC after six airings.

After a shaky start in the Wednesday 9-10 p.m. period, running against ABC's juggernaut "Lost," "E-Ring" improved its rating performance when it was shifted to the 8-9 p.m. hour Oct. 5. EDITOR'S NOTE: EST, NATCH

CBS Flips Frosh Time PeriodsCBS is switching the time periods of two of fresman dramas Close to Home and Threshold. EDITOR'S NOTE: DUE TO MY DWEEBING HIATUS, THIS NEWS IS A TAD BELATED. SORRY.

Close to Home, which currently airs on Tuesday at 10 p.m. will move to Friday at 9 p.m., while Threshold, will normally airs on Friday in that time period will move to Tuesday at 10.

Close to Home will air on Friday, Nov. 11 and Nov. 18, during the November sweeps, while Threshold will air on Tuesday Noc. 22 and Nov. 29.

While no reason was given, both shows have only produced mediocre ratings thus far, and it seems like Close to Home might have a better audience flow leading out of Ghost Whisperer on Friday nights, while Threshold might do better leading out of The Amazing Race. EDITOR'S NOTE: CBS IS FIGURING THAT "CLOSE TO HOME" HAS MORE IN COMMON WITH "GHOST WHISPERER" IN THE SAPPY FACTOR, THAN IT DOES WITH "THRESHOLD" IN THE SCIFI FACTOR?

The two dramas are the only two of six new shows that CBS has not yet given full season orders for, and this test of new time periods could determine whether the shows stay on the air or not.

WB bumps episode orders for drama, comedy seriesWB Network has picked up additional episodes from two freshman series. The one-hour "Related" has received an order for six segments, bringing its season total to 19, while the comedy "Twins," which stars Sara Gilbert, Molly Stanton and Melanie Griffith has been given a five-episode pickup for a total of 18.

The reduced back-orders for "Related" and "Twins" are said to be partially related to the ongoing process of cost-cutting throughout the divisions of Warner Bros. Freshman series normally get a nine-episode back-order for a full-season 22 episodes, a procedure WB followed with its best-performing new show, hot drama "Supernatural."

Aquaman getting his own show?The popularity of his appearance on a recent episode of “Smallville”, may have won funky fish hero “Aquaman” his own show.

According to AquamanTV.com, there’s some serious buzz down at the brothers Warner water towers suggesting the WB is about to introduce another comic-book inspired TV show to their line-up.

“Aquaman” would star as Alan Ritchson as the gallant sovereign of the irrigate. Like Tom Welling, Alan Ritchson is a former model.

The “Smallville” episode featuring “Aquaman” rated it’s pants off : it averaged a season-high 2.9 rating/8 share in adults 18-49 and 6.4 million viewers overall, so no wonder they’re considering making the wet-one a permanent member of the family.

EDITOR'S NOTE: AND WHILE WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT OF THINGS 'SMALLVILLE'ISH ------

'Smallville' star, scribe on Fox project"Smallville" star Michael Rosenbaum has partnered with the show's writer/executive producer Greg Beeman to pen "Welcome to Paradise," a single-camera half-hour project for Fox based on Rosenbaum's life as a teenager in the late 1980s.

Rosenbaum is exec producing the show, which has received a script commitment, with former WB Network Entertainment president Jordan Levin, his producing partner, former Regency TV president Pete Aronson, and Mike Karz ("Malibu's Most Wanted").

"Welcome to Paradise," set up at Fox TV Studios, centers on a 13-year-old boy whose eccentric family moves from New York to Indiana.

Thoms on 'Cold Case' for CBSTracie Thoms has joined the cast of CBS' "Cold Case" as a regular.

On the Jerry Bruckheimer TV/Warner Bros. TV crime drama starring Kathryn Morris, Thoms will play Kat Miller, a streetwise young narcotics detective who joins the Philadelphia homicide squad after assisting in solving a case from 1973. Thoms will make her debut on the show in the episode slated to air Sunday.

Thoms co-starred on Fox's critically praised drama "Wonderfalls." The actress, who will next be seen in Chris Columbus' feature adaptation of the musical "Rent," is repped by the Gersh Agency and Schachter Entertainment

USA commits to Grazer's 'Wife'USA Network is developing a six-hour miniseries based on the best-selling novel "The Starter Wife" by Gigi Levangie Grazer.

USA has acquired the rights to the novel, which chronicles the life of a Hollywood wife as she faces divorce after years of marriage to a Hollywood studio chief.

Scribes Josann McGibbon and Sara Parriott, whose credits include the 1999 feature "Runaway Bride," have been tapped to write the screenplay adaptation and will executive produce the mini for NBC Universal TV Studio and 3 Arts Entertainment. McGibbon, Parriott, Grazer and 3 Art's Stephanie Davis and Howie Klein will executive produce the project, slated to go before the cameras in the spring.

Scott to plot NBC 'Heist'Scottish actor Dougray Scott has been tapped as the lead in NBC's hot one-hour pilot "Heist," which Doug Liman is directing.

Meanwhile, Eric Balfour and newcomer Milena Govich have joined the cast of "Conviction," the network's midseason drama series from Dick Wolf. EDITOR'S NOTE: ERIC BALFOUR IS ONE OF THOSE NOT-VERY-INTERESTING ACTORS (TO ME, ANY WAY) WHO KEEP SHOWING UP IN PILOTS. IF WE WATCH ONE, WILL THEY STOP CASTING HIM?

"Heist," from NBC Universal Television Studio, Hypnotic and Sony Pictures TV, is an ensemble dramedy that chronicles over the course of a season a group of thieves' attempt to simultaneously rob three jewelry stores on Beverly Hills' famed Rodeo Drive. Scott will play the mastermind of the operation.EDITOR'S NOTE: PURTY CRIMINAL.

'Lipstick' applied by NBC, BushnellNBC Universal Television Studio has pacted with "Sex and the City" writer Candace Bushnell to adapt her latest book, the novel "Lipstick Jungle," into a half-hour series for NBC.

Writer-producer Robin Schiff has been tapped to pen the project with Bushnell.

"Lipstick" has been given a script commitment by the network.

"Lipstick," considered by some as a follow-up to "Sex and the City," chronicles the lives of Nico O'Neilly, Wendy Healy and Victory Ford, Nos. 8, 12 and 17 on the New York Post's list of "New York's 50 Most Powerful Women," who would do anything to get ahead and stay on top EDITOR'S NOTE: WHILE TALKING AD NAUSEUM ABOUT THEIR SHOES, NO DOUBT. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

Paybox has ordered a pilot script, which Wesley Strick ("Cape Fear") will write and Cronenberg will direct. Cronenberg and Strick will both exec produce along with feature producer Carol Baum ("The Good Girl").

Morgan Creek Prods. is on board to produce.

The original film "Dead Ringers" is the story of twin gynecologists, both played by Jeremy Irons, who go insane after becoming romantically involved with the same woman. EDITOR'S NOTE: AS ONLY JEREMY IRONS, DIRECTED BY CRONENBERG, CAN DO. (HIDEOUS, WEIRD, GROSS MOVIE. YUCK)

Cronenberg's most recent TV work was a guest starring role on the ABC spy drama "Alias."

He is attached to helm and produce "London Fields," based on Martin Amis' 1991 novel of the same name about a promiscuous psychic troubled by disturbing premonitions.

Three jump in gene pool for Fox pilotRhea Seehorn, Richard Kind and Will McCormack have joined the cast of the Fox comedy pilot "Genetically Challenged."

The half-hour project, from Warner Bros. Television, centers on Zach (Coby Ryan McLaughlin), a young lawyer who works to overcome various traits that he has inherited from his parents.

Kind will play Zach's father, Shermie, an obsessive, highly neurotic guy who has micromanaged his son's every move since childhood. Seehorn will portray Brooke, a fellow attorney and friend of Zach who finds herself in predicaments because of her endless attempts at finding the perfect man. McCormack is taking the role of Ricky, Zach's lawfirm associate who also happens to be his antithesis -- a laid-back guy who skates through life mostly on luck.

EDITOR'S NOTE: AN INTERESTING FOLLOW-UP TO THAT LIVE WEST WING DEBATE EP FROM A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO ----

washingtonpost.comVinick Sways Voters, er, Viewers on 'West Wing'By Lisa de MoraesTuesday, November 8, 2005; C01After watching the live debate between Jimmy Smits's Rep. Matt Santos (D-Tex.) and Alan Alda's Sen. Arnold Vinick (R-Calif.) on "The West Wing," young viewers have changed their minds about the two faux candidates and want Alda in the White House.

Viewers 65 and older, however, came out strong for Santos, according to a survey by pollster Zogby International conducted right after Sunday's broadcast on NBC.

Yes, Jimmy Smits now skews older than Alan Alda.

For a network that chases young viewers exclusively but has seen its median age spring forward by nearly three years in one season -- from 46.4 to 49.2 years -- this ought to stop the suits in their tracks. Particularly since the network made it fairly clear it intend to put Smits in the Oval Office (his face, but not Alda's, is featured in the group mug shot on the home page of NBC's "West Wing" Web site, for instance.)

Despite a boatload of pre-broadcast hype, the debate episode did little to move the ratings needle -- the show averaged about 9.6 million viewers in the 8 p.m. hour, according to stats. That's its biggest audience this season -- which isn't saying much, since it's averaging only 8.2 million viewers. And the broadcast still finished third in its time period, pounded by ABC's "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" (18 million viewers) and CBS's "Cold Case" (16 million).

More important to NBC's sales department, "West Wing" finished a distant fourth in its time period among 18-to-49-year-olds, which the network says is the only age bracket it sells to advertisers.EDITOR'S NOTE: NBC SHOULDN'T EVEN BE TALKING ABOUT BULK NUMBERS FOR THIS SHOW. THEY SHOULD FOCUS ON HOW UPSCALE THE AUDIENCE IS. THE LIVE DEBATE EPISODE WAS WONDERFULLY WELL WRITTEN, AND, LIKE WITH A REAL POLITICAL DEBATE, BEYOND THE KEN OF THE RIFFRAFF.

But those numbers aren't half so interesting as the ones spit out by pollster Zogby yesterday, showing how much ground Smits's Santos lost to Alda's Vinick in the debate, despite obvious efforts to make Santos look heroic.

Before the episode, viewers between 18 and 29 preferred Santos over Vinick, 54 percent to 37 percent. But after the debate, in which veteran Alda gutted pretty-boy Smits without him even knowing it, Vinick now leads among viewers under age 30, 56 percent to 42 percent.

(Among viewers 65 and older -- or, as TV execs like to call them, the Irrelevantest Generation -- Santos has a lead of 68 percent to 27 percent.)

Also switching camps were men, whom the networks have a harder time attracting than women and therefore chase harder. (The TV industry is a lot like dating: If you hang around a lot, the suits ignore you; play hard to get, they chase you with a passion.) EDITOR'S NOTE: OF COURSE YOU RISK THOSE OF US YOU TAKE FOR GRANTED TURNING THE SET OFF ALLTOGETHER, EH?

Among men, Vinick now leads with 55 percent to Santos's 39 percent.

Women were the only ones who did not change their minds after watching Alda fillet his opponent. Before the debate, women came out very strong for ever-so-handsome Smits/Santos; post-debate, they were just as pro-Santos, 68 percent to 23 percent. Really, why did they give women the vote? EDITOR'S NOTE: GRRRRR..... (HOW ABOUT THIS. FROM A WOMAN. VINICK DID WIN THE DEBATE. BUT THE PEOPLE HIS CHARACTER HAVE TO ANSWER TO....THE SAME SCARY FAR RIGHT CABAL AS IN REAL WORLD POLITIC....FORCE ANY THINKING PERSON TO STAY WITH SANTOS. BESIDES, IT'S NOT LIKE SANTOS WAS BAD OR INEPT OR INARTICULATE IN THE DEBATE; HE JUST WASN'T QUITE AS HOT AS VINICK).

Let's review, shall we?

"West Wing" producers and NBC look for a way to create "West Wing" event programming during the November sweeps to help goose ratings on the show, which has struggled mightily since being shipped to Sunday.

How about a live debate?

Great idea, they say, though Smits hasn't done much live performing and doesn't do well with improv, as he himself noted during a pre-debate phone news conference.

How hard can it be, execs ask?

Sure, it's live, but it'll be scripted and we'll give Smits lots of heroic lines such as: "What did liberals do that was so offensive to the Republican Party? I'll tell you what they did. Liberals got women the right to vote. Liberals got African Americans the right to vote. Liberals created Social Security and lifted millions of elderly people out of poverty. Liberals ended segregation. . . . So when you try to hurl that label at my feet, 'liberal,' as if it's something dirty, something to be ashamed of, something to run away from, it won't work, senator, because I will pick it up, and I will wear that label as a badge of honor."Debate: Alda debones Smits.

Morning after: Numbers not so great and young viewers now strong for Alda to get presidential role next season. Great sweeps stunt turns into NBC headache.

Zogby rep Fritz Wenzel told The TV Column yesterday that the poll results show Smits "is a better scripted actor" and that Alda's Vinick "has a relatability" that Santos lacks.

Vinick "did much better than Santos" in the debate, Wenzel said, but even he was surprised that "there was so much movement in the numbers" in Vinick's favor.

"The other example we've had of an actor in the White House was right along the same lines as Vinick last night. Ronald Reagan was called the Great Communicator for a good reason. He was able to relate to people and not so much issue-to-issue but person-to-person."EDITOR'S NOTE: THE ARTICLE MISSES A COUPLE OF IMPORTANT POINTS, THOUGH. A) THE NBC.COM POLL HAD SANTOS AHEAD BY A VERY WIDE MARGIN, SO THERE ISN'T AS CLEAR A MANDATE FOR ALDA TO TAKE THE PRESIDENCY IN THIS FICTIONAL WORLD AS THE POST WOULD HAVE US BELIVE. B) HOW ABOUT THE BIGGER PICTURE THAT WATCHING TWO REASONED, ARTICULATE, NON-FERAL, CARING MEN VIE FOR THE ROLE OF OUR LEADER WAS THE TRUE AMERICAN FANTASY.WHIMPER.....

Back with a Vengeance --- Movie News

EDITOR'S NOTE: STILL A BIT FRANTIC....BUT I'VE LET DOWN MY 'PEEPS' LONG ENOUGH. FIRST UP, HERE'S A LINK TO A TRAILER FOR A HARRISON FORD MOVIE. ONE THAT HAS A GREAT CAST AND LOOKS LIKE IT MIGHT NOT STINK (JUST FOR SOMETHING NEW AND DIFFERENT FROM OUR MR. F)

Good enough to bottle though?Three beauties are battling for the chance to do time in a sandy bottle.

Jennifer Garner, Kate Hudson and Lindsay Lohan are the top three contenders to star in the film reimagining of the vintage “I Dream of Jeannie”, says The Los Angeles Times.

When it was first announced, both Keira Knightley and Jessica Simpson were reportedly the faves to Genie-up.

The movie, to be directed by Gurinder Chada (“Bend it Like Beckham”), has taken so long to get off the ground because the studio can’t decide on which actress they like best and what direction they want the film to go. EDITOR'S NOTE: SHOULDN'T YOU GET A SOLID SCRIPT FIRST? THEN WORRY ABOUT ACTRESSES? WHEN WILL THEY LEARN......?

The Mother of the Bride and Napoleon Dynamite look set to team up as mother and son in "Mama's Boy" for Warner Independent Pictures, says The Hollywood Reporter.

The story centers on a self-absorbed man in his late 20s (Heder) who still lives at home with his mother. The man's world turns upside down when his mother starts dating and considers booting him out of the house.

Tim Hamilton will direct "Mama's Boy" from a script written by Hank Nelken

He won’t do a sequel to “E.T”, he won’t even plonk a firecracker under Indiana Jones’s cheeks to get it moving – but he will remake one of his first films. Because, um, well, he can.

According to Development Hell, Steven Spielberg announced at a Q&A at the University of Southern California this week that he plans to remake his film, “Sugarland Express” at some point.

The movie, an early addition to Goldie Hawn’s CV, was Spielberg’s second film and was a true story about a husband and wife trying to outrun the law.

In the meantime, the bearded one says he's busy working on "Indiana Jones 4" and "Jurassic Park 4", the former of which he hopes to also have an IMAX version of.EDITOR'S NOTE: SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE WHEN COUSIN STEVE IS RECYCLING IDEAS?

Schrieber on Batman Begins 2 and Rainbox SixThough he claims not knowing anything about it - he may have been told to stay zipped, because I've heard otherwise - actor Liev Schrieber told fans on his official site that he would indeed consider playing Harvey Dent/Two Face in the upcoming "Batman Begins" sequels.

"Yes. Write your congressmen now! Sounds like fun to me", says the "Manchurian Candidate" star. "Again, I seem to be the last one to hear because I know nothing about it".

Schrieber, who played John Clark in the book-cum-movie "The Sum of All Fears", also said he'd like to reprise that role for the film "Rainbow Six" should it happen. "Haven't heard a thing but would be thrilled to play him again if the elements were right", he says. EDITOR'S NOTE: HE WAS THE BEST THING ABOUT "FEARS". (IMHO....)

Sith has his Revenge with PokerA film we mentioned a few months back has found a home.

“Star Wars” trio Nick Gillard, Samuel L.Jackson and Hayden Christensen have teamed for “Poker Night”, a new film which Gillard directs, and the former fallen Jedi co-star.

Icon Entertainment Intl. has acquired worldwide rights to "Poker Night," a thriller centers on a rookie detective (Christensen) who wakes to find himself strapped to a chair in a dim and filthy basement. Cop's faceless abductor is a vicious serial killer who is mercilessly torturing his captive both physically and mentally. EDITOR'S NOTE: GILLARD DIDN'T GET TO TORTURE HAYDEN ENOUGH DURING STUNT AND SABER PRACTICE? (SOME SORT OF KINKY FANTASY THING, NICK?)

LET'S PAUSE FOR A SEC WHILE ODDBOB PULLS HIMSELF BACK TOGETHER....

EWW.....AND THE REST OF US.....

Stunt co-ordinator extraordinaire Gillard will helm from a screenplay by Greg Francis. Marina Grasic, John J. Kelly, Francis and Tove Christensen are producing.

Robocop back on dutyA couple of days back, CHUD mentioned that ol’ Alex Murphy might be getting a good oil and grease with a “Robocop” (1987) remake.

As far-fetched as it sounds, it’s right on the money.

According to the site, producer Michael De Luca and Sony are behind the retool, which will again tell of a young police officer whose resurrected as a heavy-weighing robot on the police payroll.

Like it or loathe it, it’s coming.

I had the opportunity to talk to some of the gang involved in that original classic, and they confirmed that there are talks to reinvent the OCP wheel.

“There's been discussions at Screen Gems about a RoboCop picture ever since negotiations began to acquire MGM several years ago. As yet no writer has been hired but things are inching forward in that direction”, says our reliable source. EDITOR'S NOTE: WOO. HOO.

Shue Fits for THE NUMBER 23

New Line Cinema has signed Elisabeth Shue to star opposite Jim Carrey in the psychological thriller THE NUMBER 23.

The story centers on a man who comes into contact with an obscure book titled "The Number 23." As he reads it, he becomes increasingly convinced that the book is based on his own life. His obsession with the number 23 starts to consume him to the point that he soon realizes that the book forecasts far graver consequences for his life than he could ever have imagined. EDITOR'S NOTE: TRUE CONFESSION TIME......I REALLY LIKE JIM CARREY IN HIS NON-COMEDY ROLES. THERE. I'VE SAID IT. (HANGING HEAD IN SHAME AND LIMPING AWAY.....)

The script was written by Fernley Phillips. Joel Schumacher is directing.

Olin, Howard & Robards are AWAKE

EDITOR'S NOTE: YEAH, IT'S AN "ALIAS" PROMO SHOT. WHICH IS LIKE POURING SOME SALT IN THE WOUNDS OF "ALIAS" FANS WHO MISS MOMMY-DEAREST. (ME, FOR INSTANCE). BUT SHE IS A GREAT LOOKIN WOMAN. AND I WOULD KILL FOR THOSE BICEPS AT MY AGE (WHICH IS SIMILAR TO OLIN'S....MINUS THE GREAT ARM MUSCLES).

GreeneStreet Films and the Weinstein Co. have signed Lena Olin, Terrence Howard and Sam Robards to star in AWAKE. They join a cast that already includes Hayden Christensen and Jessica Alba. EDITOR'S NOTE: WOW. SUPER FAB CAST!

The psychological thriller centers on a victim of "anesthetic awareness," in which a patient remains awake but paralyzed during surgery. EDITOR'S NOTE: OUCH.

Joby Harold will direct from his script.

'Freedom' rings for Staunton Imelda

Staunton has signed on to play opposite Hilary Swank in Paramount Pictures and MTV Films' drama "Freedom Writers." The project marks one of Staunton's first high-profile roles since she earned critical raves and an Oscar nomination for last year's "Vera Drake."

Based on a true story, "Freedom Writers" centers on a teacher (Swank) at a gang-infested Long Beach, Calif., school who is faced with the daunting task of teaching freshman English to a racially diverse class of teenagers. Staunton will play a colleague of Swank's character. EDITOR'S NOTE: HAVEN'T WE SEEN THIS MOVIE BEFORE. DIDN'T IT HAVE EITHER MICHELLE PFEIFFER OR JAMES OLMOS IN IT? (BOTH...IN DIFFERENT VERSIONS?)

Cornwell has 'House' plan at Warners

Australian newcomer Peter Cornwell is in negotiations to direct "The Dionaea House," a horror thriller that David Heyman is producing for Warner Bros. Pictures.

Written by Eric Heisserer, the story centers on a married man who has grown apart from his old friends. When one of them commits a double murder-suicide, the men feel compelled to investigate, eventually stumbling upon an evil force that perpetuates itself through tract housing. EDITOR'S NOTE: NOT ENOUGH THAT THOSE HOUSES ARE UNATTRACTIVE. NOW THEY'RE ALSO A VORTEX OF EVIL. I GUESS THAT WON'T DO MUCH FOR REAL ESTATE PRICES, HUH?

Marc Rosen and Ali Bell are overseeing "Dionaea" for Heyday. Kevin McCormick is shepherding the project at the studio.

Panettiere to Bring itUniversal has signed actress Hayden Panettiere, best known for her role in “Racing Stripes”, to lead the charge of the next “Bring it On” sequel, says MTV.

Called “Bring it On Yet Again” the film takes a white-out to the first two films and jots a new template in over it. Again, there’s two rivals, the difference this time is that they’re not both vying to be ‘cheerleading’ champions, but instead, win a place on a new TV special featuring a big-name singer.

Grant to Helm KINCAIDFox 2000 has hired Darren Grant to direct the adaptation of the online comic VENUS KINCAID.The story centers on a female African-American government agent who finds herself shrunken down to a teenaged girl but retaining all of her special sleuthing skills.

KINCAID was created by online animation team the Love brothers (Jeremy, Maurice and Robert). Lori Lakin is writing the script.

Morgan Goes PSYCHO for UniversalUniversal has hired screenwriter Chris Morgan to adapt the comic book THE PSYCHO for the big screen. The comic was created by Dan Bereton and James Hudnall.

PSYCHO is set in a world where individuals attain superpowers by taking an unpredictable and potentially lethal drug. A rogue CIA agent who risks insanity and becomes a "psycho" himself in order to rescue his girlfriend and expose a political conspiracy.

The President involved with BobbyEmilio Estevez has roped in – and I’m not at all surprised – father Martin Sheen to play a role in his Bobby Kennedy biopic “Bobby”.

Estevez, who has worked with his father on several films including “The War at Home”, has asked his pop to play a wealthy East Coast financier staying at the hotel with his wife (Helen Hunt).

Also just signed for the film are William H. Macy, Helen Hunt, Christian Slater, Joshua Jackson and James Marsden.

Meanwhile, Martin Sheen has also agreed to work with his other son, Charlie. He’ll play the father of a neighbour in Sheen’s sitcom “Two and a Half Men”.

SANTAKID is Coming to TownNew Line has hired Seth Bass and Jonathan Tolins to adapt James Patterson's children's book SANTAKID, for the big screen.

The story centers on the 10-year-old daughter of the billionaire who's acquired ownership of Santa Claus. After the girl receives an imperfect doll as a gift, she sets out to save Santa and make Christmas more perfect.

The story follows on Kevin Ackerman, a 13-year-old budding Wes Craven. Together with his crew of small-town friends, he has made dozens of low-budget horror films featuring his monster props. But after he finds and uses a mysterious old camera, the monsters spring to life. EDITOR'S NOTE: YEAH. SEE, YA JUST GOTTA KNOW THAT'S A RISK WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING WITH PROPS FROM OLD HORROR FLICS. I'VE SEEN IT HAPPEN TIME AND AGAIN......

Ward Takes on GUARDIAN Duty

Touchstone Pictures has set Sela Ward to star in THE GUARDIAN. She joins a cast that already includes Kevin Costner and Ashton Kutcher. EDITOR'S NOTE: SHUDDER. A CAST LIKE THAT, I START TO FEEL THEY'RE JUST TOYING WITH ME. (POOR SELA....)

The action drama centers on a legendary rescue swimmer who is grappling with his troubled marriage and his relationship with a rebellious Coast Guard enlistee, to be played by Kutcher.

THE FUGITIVE's Andrew Davis is directing.

Disney is ENCHANTED with AdamsWalt Disney has hired Amy Adams to star in ENCHANTED, a CG animated and live-action film.Adams will play a princess-in-waiting who's banished by an evil queen from the cartoon world of Andalasia to the hardened world of present-day New York. The movie turns to live action, and so does the princess. She attempts to navigate the city, find true love and save herself. EDITOR'S NOTE: OOOOO.....I HOPE IT ALL WORKS OUT.

Barry Sonnenfeld and Barry Josephson will produce. Kevin Lima is directing from a script by Bill Kelly.

Sykes, Wilson Join EXRegency Enterprises has set Wanda Sykes and Rainn Wilson to join the cast of SUPER EX. The film stars Luke Wilson and Uma Thurman.

EX centers on a man who learns that his girlfriend is a superhero and breaks up with her when she becomes too controlling and neurotic. She then uses her powers to torment and embarrass him. EDITOR'S NOTE: NOW WE'RE TALKIN PROPER USE OF SUPERPOWERS! (YOU GO, GRRRRRL!)

Arnett is JEFF THE DEMONNew Line has set Will Arnett to star in the comedy JEFF THE DEMON.

DEMON centers on a pair of high school losers who find a book that allows them to summon a power from the netherworld. The demon helps them win every battle and right every wrong in their lives, but they quickly find that further problems ensue. EDITOR'S NOTE: MAKE DEALS WITH A DEMON AND YOU DON'T SEE THAT COMIN?

James Bobin will direct from a script by Tom Scharpling and Joe Ventura.

The film follows three converging story lines involving bootleggers, a serial killer and drug dealers. One story centers on a former drug dealer who is trying to go straight comes across a stash of stolen drugs and another focuses on a middle-aged suburban housewife who hides a sadistic and vicious streak. EDITOR'S NOTE: IT'S NOT HER FAULT; SHE LIVES IN A TRACT HOUSE.

Cybill Shepherd will also star in the film. Van Peebles will direct and produce.

Liman is a JUMPERNew Regency has set Doug Liman to direct JUMPER, which is an adaptation of the Steven Gold's novel. The company is planning a trilogy of films. Jim Uhls will rewrite a script by David Goyer.

The story centers on a teenager who discovers he can teleport from one place to another. The young man learns he can "jump" when he escapes his abusive father

Univeral Has a MISSIONUniversal Pictures picked up the remake rights to the Hong Kong action film CHEUNG FO. Dario Scardapane will write the script for THE MISSION. Peter Berg will direct.

The story is set in San Francisco & Las Vegas and follows a group of criminals who bond as bodyguards for an aging crime boss. Their brotherhood is tested when one of them breaks ranks.

Johansson Goes Gladiatrix

Scarlett Johansson will star in AMAZON, a film to be financed by Signature Pictures. The actress will play a gladiatrix from 200 B.C. who exacts vengeance on an army that destroyed her homeland.

The idea for the movie came from a discussion between Johansson and Alex Kurtzman & Bob Orci while they were working on THE ISLAND. EDITOR'S NOTE: I'M GUESSING THEY HAD A LOT OF TIME ON THEIR HANDS WHILE LESSER LIGHTS WERE RE-JIGGERING THE SCRIPT FOR "THE ISLAND"?

Dirk Blackman and Howard McCain will write the script. EDITOR'S NOTE: JUST KEEP IT AWAY FROM MICHAEL BAY.The film is being described as something between THE SEVEN SAMURAI and THE WILD BUNCH.

Stiller is Guarded About MUSEUM20th Century Fox is in talks with Ben Stiller to star in A NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM. As previously announced, Shawn Levy is directing.

The family comedy centers on a goodhearted but bumbling security guard (Stiller), who works at a museum of natural history and accidentally brings down an ancient curse that causes the animals and insects on display to come to life. EDITOR'S NOTE: UNFORTUNATELY, IT ALSO CURSES AUDIENCES TO KEEP HAVING TO WATCH BEN STILLER MOVIES. (FIE ON THOSE EVIL ANCIENT CURSES!)

Production will take place in Vancouver. The film is scheduled for release in the fall of 2006.

Brosnan to Play "Baddie"

Pierce Brosnan has been cast as the bad guy in the thriller BUTTERFLY ON A WHEEL.

The story follows a happy couple with a seemingly perfect life whose daughter is abducted. Over the course of a day, the kidnapper dismantles the family's lives with brutal efficiency.

William Morrissey wrote the script. Mike Barker will direct. Icon, Irish DreamTime and Infinity Feature Canada will produce.