Have you seen those old microwaves that would run even if the door was open? I knew a guy who stuck his head in one while it was running (I think it was a dare). He was a grad student studying Philosophy, and he pretty much turned completely stupid after that night. He readily acknowledged that he suddenly took a turn towards retardation, but he denied that it had anything to do with the fact that he microwaved his ******* brain.

We have reserves where this is pretty common when the kids need a break from huffing gas.

Directions:
For Slow, mix the UV vodka and Rose’s mix to a champagne flute and fill with Sprite. Take your time and chill out for a bit.

For Haste, mix the pineapple juice and orange juice in a champagne flute, then top off with Red Bull. Add a very small splash of grenadine to the top (no more than a few drops) and it will sink to the bottom. Enjoy and feel the rush.

Directions: Mix the blue curacao and Fireball in a shot glass. Layer a thin bit of Bacardi 151 (or other overproof rum) on the top and light on fire. Block to extinguish and drink! Add more Bacardi 151 to the top to make it a Shinkuu Hadouken.

Directions: The Colossus is a modified Black Velvet with an added blueberry kick. Instead of layering the beers, mix all of them in a 32 oz. mug. Mix the brandy and grenadine in a shot glass, for the Wanderer. Climb the Colossus and drop in the Wanderer shot. Consume the mixture and transform yourself.

Brilliant letting one of Scott Pioli's henchmen have his own team to ruin. One of the premier GM jobs in the NFL and it gets handed to a stupid **** who makes three facepalm moves for every good one. Awesome. Just like handing a new Mercedes to a 16 year old girl who's already been in three wrecks.