I went and learned to play a couple more, too, Bee-Dubya honey. I wanted to surprise you, so here's another li'l ol' hint. I jes' know you're gonna like makin' this beautiful music with me, Bee-Dubya! And you know that I can play all of my music at the same time I'm a-holdin' you close, Bee-Dubya, 'cause right now I look a little different from the last picture I sent you. It's just the multiphase, though, and I'll be my old self when I get there to you.

I'm in Reno right now, and the Labrador and me are both panting for you.

I hate to break it to you Bee-dubya-ell, but THIS is the guy who owns the accordion in the picture you posted. He must have just been letting that lady use for a little while because she didn't have any clothes and she needed to cover herself with something.

Don't be fooled by a pretty smile -- those pleats have teeth in 'em if they catch your protuberances at the wrong moment!! Carol, do you ever play with your protuberances at risk like that lass? Enquiring minds want to...know!

Bee-Dubya, honey? I'm real, and I'm already in southeastern Oregon. I've got the Labrador with me, too, a real big ol' black guy, just what we need. And Bee-Dubya, I've got a really big ol' surprise for you, too! Something I've been learning just for you, and I'll bet you'll never ever guess what it is I've went and learned to do!

I too assure you that at least, Carol, you are not this one. I make it a hard and fast rule never to be another man's spouse. Not my style, if you take my meaning. BWL is just flapping his brain cell. :>)

I have come to the inescapable conclusion that there are, in reality, only two people who contribute to this thread: Me and The Other Guy.

Consider this: The only poster whose existence I can empirically verify is me. I know that I am making this post. However, regardless of whose name appears on any other post, I can never be absolutely certain that it has been made by that person. It could have been made by an impostor.

So, if it is even remotely possible that any post was made by an impostor, then it is also possible that all posts made by anyone other than me have been made by impostors. So, if they're all being made by impostors, why is it necessary to have multiple impostors? It could just as easily be a single person doing all that impostoring. That means that Amos, Rapaire, khandu, Rustic Rebel, Tweed, Carol the Sailor, Little Hawk, et al are really all one person! One very sick, demented, insomniac person with a remarkably acute case of dissociative hysteria, but one person just the same.

Thanks, Rapaire for responding so promptly to my little experiment. I accept your consolation -- go ahead, straighten out the false values. I am willing to die for my ideals. Because, really,. it was all just a big test, like throwing out a honking big lead- line with the giant plug of lead tied off the end overboard, and stuck in the socket at the bottom o' that hunk of lead, a big ole chunk of wax. You throw the lead, with the wax stuck in, over the side, just for one reason, you see. You want to know if there is any bottom. And you hope maybe if you find a bottom, the wax will bring a trace up to tell you what is down there.

Like that. I am sorry to report there is no bottom. The delusion here is bottomless. Of course all the best delusions look that way, but I had some hope for you. This means no way to find shore, no way to anchor your barque, no way to know that the deepest and blackest part is behind you.

No, it is I who am sorry. But, please fix things up right for your next illusion.

As for correcting that flawe in LH, I would like to believe you, I really would.

The wires were never crossed, Amos. Sorry, I really, really hate to break this news to you because I am a caring and just Creator and I have tried to hide the truth from you to spare you. But here it is:

When I was creating you, I'd already created Little Hawk. He was running on about Bill Shatner (who is a construct, not a real person like you and Little Hawk are). Anyway, he was yammering on about Shatner this and Shatner that, how Shatner was the greatest singer EVER, and it sorta distracted me. The bottom line is: you're a flawed creation and LH is at fault. The flaws are so grievous, so deeply imbedded, that to correct them would cancel your existence. If you wish, I'll do so, but then you'll go "phhhpppttt!" and softly and silently vanish away (you're part Boojum, by the way).

Your choice: It's this existence or non-existence.

Oh, yeah, I was able to correct that flaw about recognizing good singing in the Little Hawk module. It wasn't integral to that unit's existence.

Nice try Rapaire-man, but there is no way those ratios are gonna work that way -- you 'll end up with a thankless, grinding, hopeless, soulless universe full of dismal, mindless, uninspired and unmotivated beings, draining their lives out in unimaginative toil, mere survival their sole reward -- how gruesome is that??

So don't pull those "Parameter Patsy" tapdances on me, bro'. Get the damn wires uncrossed or this universe is gonna blow sky-high, right in your little god-like face, ya unnerstan'??

Amos, corrections to those typos are made in the fourth (and very latest) edition of the Handbook. In the first, the ratios were switched. In the second, well, you lucked out, 'cause the good luck was supposed to start running out at 35.

If you really are the secret source behind all the mechanisms of my existence there are a few management issues you and I need to discuss. For one thing, the ration of energy out to energy in from the environment in the form of revenue is entirely unsatisfactory. In Solipsists' Handbook and Guidelines, Third Edition, second chapter, it clearly says that exertion should approach zero while reward approaches infinity. You seem to have been asleep the day this material was covered and subsequently gotten these two values inverted. Please see this gets corrected. Also, my quanta of sheer inexplicable good luck seems to have dininshed since I turned fifty, and this seems injust and inapprorpiate to me. Please correct this.

But...I told all of you long ago that I created you and Billy-Bob Shatner. Me. Personally. Without me you wouldn't exist. Without me, this Universe wouldn't exist. Without me to think me up, I wouldn't exist. Even when I go away, I'm always here.

Those who wrestled Odin ended up might Thor indeed. All the gods and goddesses would gather 'round and wish the contestants "Good Loki!" 'cause it would be a Freya match with no holds barred. Why, you could gouge eyes and even pull hair until your opponent was Baldur than anything.