Lifecoaching

Fear

Fear seems to be omnipresent these days. The global political situation is unsettling, we are facing a time of change and constant threat. Nothing seems to be certain, the freedom we took for granted is at risk. There are many reasons to be fearful, to avoid doing things which we did before. Fear as a limiting factor, as a hindrance. The question is: where does the fear come from? Is it a general state, is it your own experience, childhood trauma, an accident? Or is it induced from parents and other well-meaning adults we encountered in our childhood? “Don’t fall” is a great example. Our brains cannot think in negative terms, it can only think about the word ‘fall’, so the focus is on the undesired outcome. It does not mean that we will actually fall, but the association is made. It would be desirable to hear: you can do it, just be careful…but you are anyway. We still express our concern, but with a totally different connotation. And this makes all the difference.

Often, we think we just need courage to overcome fear. But, what is courage? Courage is mastering fear by acknowledging the risk. Life is risky. Most of us still go on with their daily lives, get into cars, trains, planes, do sports, some even extreme sports, looking for where they hit their comfort zone, eager to extend. Here, fear is the guiding principle and not the limiting factor. We have to embrace fear as a friend, the stronger we try to silence our fear, the louder it will shout and make sure you think about the most catastrophic outcomes there are. The question then is: how to master your fear? Step one: as said is to know that fear is not your enemy, acknowledge it, say to yourself: yes, I am afraid. Step two: what would ease the fear? If you knew what to expect, if you knew how it will feel, what will happen? So, find out, how much do you know, how much information can you gather and maybe you even know somebody who did it before – and almost everything has been done before, so do your research. Step three: find an expert who provides you with support and even more knowledge. Step four: be patient, be good to yourself and don’t put more pressure on you. Step five: think of how easy life will be once the fear is gone. Step six: go for it, find help and do what you want to do! Then, you live your life, you are alive!