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Sunday, 17 January 2016

Previously, on Dungeons & Dragons, our intrepid heroes were running for their lives from a pack of hobgoblins. We took a very long hiatus for the holidays in hopes that our DM would forget that these hobgoblins existed, but alas, he did not, so everyone ran deeper into the goblin cave. Xavros promised to sing a DMX song at Akilah's funeral if she died on this adventure. Celkini remembered the layout of the cave and dashed onward to set up a trap from above, dragging Dweezil with her. Asher dragged the bugbear he so cruelly murdered in cold blood earlier into the path as an obstacle, sitting the bloated creature up and posing him nicely. [Scriber's note: I just googled "posing dead bodies and this is actually a thing and now I am creeped out]

Celkini dropped caltrops behind the bugbear's body and she and Dweezil waited while the others tried to figure out what they were doing back at the little reservoir. A hobgoblin appeared and, rather than wait for it to stumble over the caltrops, Dweezil ruined Celkini's plan (well, it was Ben's plan, really), by shooting the hobgoblin. The creature took a lot of damage, but as these beings are wont to do, he yelled out to his companions before Celkini could finish him off.

Back in the alcove, a pair of hobgoblins rushed at Asher and Akilah. Asher took out one with a viscous spear attack and a warrior's yell that drew Celkini's attention. She attacks the hobgoblin that had gone after Akilah, softening him up for the half-elf who, sadly, missed. Yet again. Poor Akilah. Xavros finished him off.

A calm settled over the cave and all anyone can hear is the dripping of water and the rumble of Xavros' hungry tummy. Then Dweezil heard the sound of armoured footfalls. And then Dweezil YELLS about it, alerting the hobgoblin to his presence. Celkini excitedly runs back, and Xavros follows to add a crazy floating dagger spell to the collection of traps down below. Between the three of them, they took out the hobgoblin, but not before it managed to shoot Dweezil. Two more hobgoblins followed and the heroes huddled up at the edge of the cliff. Akilah, in desperation, threw her sword at one, but

she missed.

Everyone was happy and considered having a party over their joyous victory, but then an arrow flew out of the darkness behind him, hitting Asher because the party had forgotten how to count to six. Everyone turned. Xavros, still very hungry, insulted the hobgoblins mother and demanded him make the bard a sandwich. The hobgoblin did not comply, instead rushing at them. Akilah stepped forward with the long sword she looted from the other hobgoblins. With the encouragement of her companions,

But alas...

she missed. [Scriber's note: For the record, Akilah had great initiative rolls this session.]

Celkini stepped in with her hammers, but both she Ben missed and the hobgoblin kicked her away. There were too many people in the way for Dweezil to fire a crossbow bolt (we know what happened last time), leaving Asher to shove Xavros aside, saving him from certain death (but not feeding him), and try to take out this hobgoblin, who clearly had leveled up while he rounded that corner. Asher stunned the hobgoblin, leaving him open for Akilah to FINISH him.

Akilah killed him in an epic sword swinging move, slicing off various body parts this way and that.

Blood spouted everywhere, which Akilah crip walked through, relishing in her first hit and kill of this adventure. While she was busy doing that, Dweezil searched the pockets of the hobgoblin and discovered a strange note:

We are poly-gamists

They say that coal under intense pressure makes diamonds. Well what kind of pressure makes glitter? The pressure of an army of enemies, the pressure of overwhelming PvP and PvEodds, the pressure of defeating that boss when all bets are against you. But when that pressure is on, we explode.Fabulously.