The homepage is patterned after a restaurant menu, and refers to Fieri as “a real human being,” and “a real hero.” For $27, you can order an appetizer called “Guy’s Big Balls,” described as two “Rice-A-Roni crusted mozzarella balls” blasted with Guy’s “signature Cadillac Cream sauce.” Extra wet-naps are $3.50.

For entrees, faux-Guy’s American Kitchen and Bar offers something called the Blitzmas Beast, described as “Two jumbo Big Gulp Slurpee cups filled with nacho cheese and tied to each other with 25 bacon strips fashioned into a giant bow.”

Or, Football: The Meal. That’s “warm, broken hamburgers, served in a clear plastic bag enclosed in a larger, black trash bag. Thrown at you from 40 yards.”

And check out the side salad option: The Olive Garden, “22 pounds of wine-stunned Kalamata olives tumbled over chopped iceberg lettuce and served in a trough, family-style. Ranch hose optional, but recommended.”

As MSN notes, hopefully Fieri lives by the classic “All publicity is good publicity” platitude.

You can check out the page (embedded below, the site is just one big image) or jog on over to guysamericankitchenandbar.com to recommend the faux-Guy Fieri page on Facebook or Twitter.