Monday, July 30, 2012

Cassie went to Mommy's reunion to make sure she was having fun. That is love.

So a couple of weeks ago Mommy went to her high school reunion. A high school reunion is when all of the people you went to school with get together to have a big party and pretend to know each other.

Mommy has been out of high school for 30 years, which is 210 dog years. That's a looooong time. I am surprised Mommy remembers her own name, let alone the names of people in her English class 210 years ago.

Here is what happens at a reunion: people stand around and get drunk and say things like, "Didn't we used to be in homeroom together?" and "Hey, remember when I stuffed you into your locker? Ha ha, wasn't that funny?" and "Gee, that guy is still as handsome as he was in high school" when really he is fat and bald.

Blah, blah, blah. All talking, no tennis balls.

Dogs don't have high school reunions. We have play group! We go to class on Tuesday and then have play time together on Saturday. Dogs don't need name tags to remember each other. We just sniff butts to say hello. Then we run around like wild animals and play fetch and then get big drinks from the giant water bowl and pee on the floor and it is the greatest time ever.

Dogs don't need some stranger to tell us we are still handsome after all these years, because we all know we are the handsomest dogs in the whole world. Our mommies tell us so every day.

Mommy said there was a lot of hugging and kissing at her reunion, which probably means someone went home with worms. That's what happens at play group. She also said there wasn't any peeing on the floor, but I'll bet she just missed it. Every dog knows that when there is a lot of drinking there is a lot of peeing.

Mommy said that pretty much no one at her reunion remembered her, which was a lot of fun. They said, "Gee you are funny, who are you?" and she just laughed. She said it didn't even make her feel bad; in fact, it was nice to feel pretty and funny for once instead of boring and old.

﻿﻿﻿﻿ Mommy, who cares what a bunch of drunk strangers think? All that matters is that you are our Mommy and we love you. Me and Bailey never forget who you are, and we have fun romps together, and I'll bet no one from your high school knows what secret snack we have every night when we snuggle in bed. Those are the important things in life.

Monday, July 9, 2012

Today I went for an adventure to The Land of Yes at Miss Ada's house. The Land of Yes is where puppies can go and do anything they want without getting yelled at.

It's great!

Miss Ada says that little puppies who are just learning stuff need a place to explore and learn how not to be scared of stuff. So she made a super fun place in the woods with trails and lots of things that puppies might be afraid of in regular life.

In The Land of Yes, they get to sniff stuff and romp and do pretty much anything they want. Can you pee on everything? YES! Can you run around like a wild animal? YES! Can you stand around for 10 minutes and eat grass? YES!

Here are lots of pictures from my visit to The Land of Yes. Then I got to have a play date with Lexie the Butt Sniffer. Then Miss Ada took out the circus dog stuff to play. She thinks I would be a good agility dog. I don't really care about circus dogging the way Scout did. He LOVED being a circus dog. Bailey likes to play circus dog, too. I just like to play ball and play "Where's Mommy" and romp around in the water.

There are lots of things on the paths that you can explore. Like crutches. This is so that puppies can get used to them here. That way when they meet a person on the street they aren't afraid because they know, "Oh, I already have seen this strange thing and it is not scary!"

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I took a swim in the creek. Mommy wanted me to get out but I am allowed to do whatever I want. Thanks, Ada!

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Let's go for a walk in the woods!

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An angel was visiting The Land of Yes. I gave her a message to give to Scout.

Miss Ada is so nice she will pick berries and then feed them to you!

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This is another thing puppies can explore. That way they can learn that squeaky baby toys are not scary either.

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Miss Ada shows the puppies that you don't need to be scared of baby carriages or toys. Today, I just sniffed around.

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"Are you coming or what?"

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This is a fake Mr. Fluffy.

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Pretend deer and more stuff to sniff and pee on!

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Can you find me?

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Me and Mommy played the "Where's Mommy?" game. She tells me to wait and the she goes and hides and I have to find her. The Land of Yes is a good place to play this game!

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This is Lexie. She's a super good pal!

Lexie is also a butt sniffer. Hey, let me get a drink!

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Big romps with my pal Lexie!

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There are two balls at Lexie's house but we only wanted to play with one.

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Me and Lexie having a rest and talking about cats.

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It's a lot of work playing ball.

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Miss Ada is telling me and Lexie that we're going to do jumps. Lexie is a good jumper.

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Now it is my turn to go through the jump.

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No problem. Can I have the tennis ball now?

Miss Ada is telling me how to go through the hoop. I know how to go through the hoop.

I'm deciding if I want to go through the hoop.

Lexie said she wants the ball ...

... so she tried to take it ...

... but I won!

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No, Mommy. I will not get into the car. I don't want to go home.
But this is The Land of Yes so I have to say yes. Boo on that.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

This was Happy Birthday to You America week. It was a loud birthday party. There were lots of scary kabooms. I was scared and Bailey was barky. It was not much fun. I hope America had a happy party but maybe next year it could be a quieter party.
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Mr. Squirrel is alive but he is not happy.

﻿This week was dead animal week at our house. Bailey trapped a squirrel in the driveway. Mommy got all fraidy because the squirrel was boo booed pretty bad. There was no blood. Just inside boo boos that made him not be able to run away. Mr. Squirrel was squeaking and screeching and Bailey was pawing at him and playing with him. It was not funny because Mommy didn't want Bailey to eat the squirrel and she didn't want the squirrel to bite Bailey.

(Just so you know, Mommy doesn't think Bailey ouched Mr. Squirrel. She thinks Mr. Squirrel was ouched in our yard and Bailey was trying to figure out what do to with him. Because Bailey was not being a wild squirrel killing dog. She was being a "Hey look what I found! Can I keep him?" dog.)

Mommy had to get Bailey in the house and call Dr. Hawkins to make sure Bailey was up to date on her rabid dog shots. Then she made Mr. Dave the Inspector Animal Controller come and take Mr. Squirrel away because it was right at the side door and we couldn't get out without stepping over his dead self.

Mommy thought Mr. Squirrel was not alive any more.

But guess what? Mr. Squirrel was not dead so Mr. Dave had to make it so Mr. Squirrel was dead so he could go into the black dead animal catcher bag. I don't know what happened but Mommy was in the driveway saying, "Eeew!! Blech!" and shaking her whole self all over and saying, "Thank you, Mr. Dave. I am never going to complain about how high our taxes are again."

Mr. Dave came and said, "Mr. Squirrel is not dead."And that's all you need to know about what happened next.

After Mr. Dave left with the dead squirrel, Mommy found a dead bird in the front yard. It was wormy and had ants all over it. It was pretty gross. Mommy is fine picking up dead birds. She is not so fine picking up half alive squirrels.

We have good times with critters at our house. Remember when I was a puppy and I got into a fight with a squirrel and got a big scratch on my nose and had to get a shot? Oh, and remember when I was out for a walk with Mommy and put my nose into a hedge and got my eyeball scratched by a nasty, mean old cat? And remember when Mr. Possum came to visit? And the hedgehog was hiding under the car? And the bats and the chipmunks came to visit?

Critters are pretty exciting.
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Our new water doggers!!

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But want to know what was even more exciting? Mommy went shopping yesterday and bought new water doggers!! YAY!! Me and Bailey both got a new sprinkler and our own pools because Bailey wrecked the other pool and we got another hose so we can can be on different sides of the fence and play and not fight. Then we switch sides.

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Bailey likes to play in the mud. Mommy thinks she is part piggy.

We played lots of water dog yesterday because it was forty million degrees outside. Bailey drank about eleventeen gallons of water and peed all day. Then later she a half hour of Wild Manic Dog.

Wild Maniac Dog means you BARKBARKBARK and run around the house and take all of the rugs and put them in a pile and take all of cushions off the couch and throw them on the floor and bark in Mommy's face. Then you go outside poop and you feel better and take a nap.

This is the Fountain of Eternal Life. It is not a dog swimming pool.

Hey, guess what? They have the water turned on in the fountains at the cemetery! It's like a giant Water Dog Play Park! Just in case you didn't know, the Fountain of Eternal Life is not a dog swimming pool. But it should be.

Bailey takes a swim in the fountain.

Bailey went for a walk with Mommy yesterday and took a swim in the Fountain of Eternal Life. Do you think that means she will be a vampire squirrel hunter now?

HAHAHA! Try and catch me, Mommy!

I went with Mommy to the cemetery today. She let me see the fountain and guess what? I jumped in, too! Then I got my leash wrapped on a fountain so Mommy let go so she could untangle me. Then when she tried to get me out I swam away!! HAHAHA! So Mommy went to the other side of the pool to get me and guess what? I swam back to the other side! HAHAHAHA!! Then I laid down in the middle of the fountains and told Mommy to come and get me.

She couldn't reach me or my leash so I just laid there and laughed at her until she started to take off her sneakers to come in and get me. It was great. But I decided to get out because I didn't want the grave digger guys to see Mommy in the fountain and tell us that we can't come back to the cemetery to romp any more. Plus, it was getting very thundery and I wanted to go home.

I was pretty proud of myself. I got a long walk and a nice swimand now it is time to go home and take a nap!

Bailey went back for a walk but it was rainy and thundery and lightningy right when they get out to walk and Mommy made her come home. So she didn't get a walk today. Then as soon as they got home, it stopped raining so me and Bailey just barked for a while.

I think that dogs should be allowed to swim in the fountain. The cemetery is also something called a wildlife preserve, which means there are deer and critters and even a GIANT bird that lives there. I'll bet the deer swim in the fountain when no one is looking.

Mommy has been trying to grow food this summer. We have some vegetables and strawberries growing. Yay for Mommy! She didn't kill everything!!

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This is how you grow stuff for your salad.

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We grew dessert.

﻿ Mommy bought a new gate to try and keep Bailey in her room. Bailey already figured out how to get out. Mommy says she is part hound dog, part piggy, part pit bull, part retriever and part Harry Houdini.
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If you want to know how to escape from jail, just ask Bailey.

﻿ Anyway, that is what happened this week at my house. It was a loud week and there was a lot of water. We did a lot of barking.

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Bailey is waiting for Mr. Pug and his owner to walk by so she can bark at them.

﻿ Now it is Sleepy Nap Time. I hope you had a good week and didn't have any dead animals in your yard.