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I finally understand why professional detailers charge hundreds of dollars for this work. So much manual labor!

I started at noon and finished at about 7PM.

Hand washed it including wheels and wheel wells, door sills, jambs, engine bay.
Hosed down the entire underside of the beast: control arms, exhaust piping, side panels - you name it. My neighbors probably thought I was insane.

Once the paint was literally dirt and dust free, I rolled her back into the garage and began the exterior overhaul:
1) Used Zaino All In One Paint Cleaner to work off any tiny residue that wouldn't come off with the rigorous hand wash/was too tough to see with the naked eye.
2) Autoglym Super Resin Polish to work into the clear coat and begin working out some of the swirls.
3) Painstakingly applied Autoglym HD Wax by HAND on the entire body.
4) Buffed all exterior surfaces using a microfiber towel. By now my entire body was sore as hell! My arms were shaking for the rest of the evening... Lol.
5) Used Meguiar's PlastX to polish out the hazing/pitting from the headlights and foglights. It worked better than I expected.

Now I can do the Zaino routine for less painful upkeep in the Spring to keep it super shiny on a regular basis. And she's finally off the road til April. All RIV/Canadian inspection paperwork completed.