Hindi ko alam kung ano ang tunay na nangyayari. I just know that she’s in a relationship with our boss, Ethan Leviste. Just yesterday, Ethan was here and they seem fine. I think. And now she’s drunk with a man I don’t know. Which of course, by the way, should be a normal case because I don’t remember anything.

Tinaas niya ang kamay niya nang nalagpasan ako. In a stance of surrender, he left the unit without saying anything. Mabilis kong tinungo ang pintuan para isarado iyon. I locked the doors and then quickly went to Penny’s room.

The floor is flooded with her own vomit. Sumakit ang ulo ko nang natanaw siya. And no, it’s not because of my memories… but because of what is happening here.

Kakakilala ko lang kay Ethan Leviste at maaaring wala sa kanya ang simpatya ko dahil hindi ko naman alam ang tunay na nangyayari pero I think if a person is in a relationship, she must stick to him. She needs to choose him no matter how tempting another man is.

Naaalala ko iyong ginawa ko kay Ali noon. I admit it. I’m so tempted with him. I found ways to hate him just to cover up the feeling I’m feeling. Because I want to choose Ivo. I chose Ivo. I pushed Ali away because I was certain I’m going to choose Ivo.

Penny telling me all these made me feel her pain. Pakiramdam ko ay natutulungan ko siya sa pamamagitan ng pakikinig. Ayos lang sa akin kung bigyan niya rin ako ng sakit na nararamdaman niya. Even when my heart is already aching for all of what’s happening with my life, there will always be room for a friend. I can feel how much I treasured her before.

I can’t imagine Ethan to be that hard on her. But then when I think about his kind of indifferent eyes, I can sense it’s possibility.

Tumango si Penny.

“He’s told me to leave the girl alone. Napakasama ko raw at nakapaselfish. He never thought I can do that to them.”
“Kailan?”
“Days ago-”
“But you were okay yesterday!” giit ko.
“We look okay but when we’re alone, he’s as cold as ice, Thraia. At kanina, nalaman ko kay Clement na magkasama si Ethan at si Glaiza kahapon. I texted Ethan asking where he is and he only told me that he’s with his family and he’s not going to work…”

Now, I understand. It isn’t enough to choose your decision. It’s not enough to stick to it even when your heart is telling you not to. You have to want it. But then, wanting something now won’t mean you’ll want it forever. You might get tired of it a long the way. Kaya ang resulta, kailangan mong piliin lamang iyon out of principle. You chose it in the first place, you have to choose it over and over again just to prove how solid your decision was.

Jenissa started a conversation about work. At nagkaroon din kami ng photo session. She asked me if I still remember my Facebook accounts password… And proceeded to ask me where my old phone was because it might contain my passwords.