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Saturday, November 21, 2009

I lose my faith every day, but what a blessing that is, for the faith that I lose is hopelessly incomplete. The next day I stumble upon a new faith, one that serves me for that day and then is discarded along with all that went before. To know fully all that is unknown is impossible in this shadowland in which we now live. My heart is only big enough to hold an understanding of the spiritual that is sufficient for the challenges of that one day. When I hold onto a faith for too long it is actually counterproductive for I am only remembering the experiences of yesterday rather than experiencing anew that which I need for the new day.

Let me put it in a perspective that might be a bit easier to understand. Knowledge of god is theology. Theology seems to be messy and confusing and makes people hate each other. So i'll talk about another “ology” that is a bit easier to explain. I will call it “Sandiology.” For those who may not know, Sandi is my lovely wife. Sandiology is simply the knowledge I have of Sandi. That knowledge changes every time I have a new experience with her. Now what if one day I decided I was never going to have a new experience with her and simply base all my future actions only on my past experiences with her. That would be to say that I was never again going to listen to what she had to say or to the requests she made of me. I would never again look on her and experience her beauty. I would never again enjoy all the ways in which she makes the world a better place. I would simply ignore everything new and just live with my experiences of the past. Now if I needed anything I would ask her for it, but if she started to talk back I would just look away and ignore her because I believe I have all the knowledge of Sandi I ever need. Sounds like a pretty crappy relationship doesn't it. I think it would be. But that is just the kind of relationship we have with god if we have a theology that doesn't constantly change. With each new day there is new knowledge, new experiences, new beauty, new conversations, new creations. As we grow in relationship our knowledge, our “ology” will change.