Day75

​March 25, 2019

To my brother my brother, my three sisters, To Mom and Dad in Memory. To my daughter and two sons, the mother of our three children and her family, and to my wife and all of her family. Of course to Grandmas and Grandpas, and all of our departed relatives. To our Aunts, Uncles and Cousins, and to my neighbors.

I’m writing this to you as If I’m on my deathbed, having come to the conclusion for some reason or another that it is my time to go and so I am about to withdrawal into that near-death state. I hope I am able to come out because my current plans are to live until I am 99 years old (another 43 years) and my wife is 100 and at that time my wife and I will decide how much longer we want to hold onto life. Our ultimate goal is to both agree on the night to leave, have a goodbye party for all we know and live close to us and skype or Zoom in with others and then say our last goodbyes and we lay ourselves down to sleep, kiss each other, and say, “See you on the other side.” In the glow of the moonlight, we can see the twinkle in each other’s eyes as we lay our heads down on our pillows and face each other. We are close, but not out of focus. Our breath is clean after having brushed our teeth. We do one last nose rub and my wife rolls over and we spoon the way we had done every night we were together.

I can digress easily, but in this state of mind, feeling 100% clear, I feel great freedom to say anything. There is great liberation in speaking one’s own truth and this is what I want to tell all of you and it is my version of truth. Since you are my family, I hope that you will take the time to listen to my words or to read them. You mean the most to me. Of all the billions of people in the world, I will call them my family, my brothers and sisters, but I have only one brother and three sisters who share a mother and father with me. There is only one mother with whom we had three children. And I have only one woman I can call my wife.

As I said, I want to tell you my truth. Why? First, it seems to be an Earth human thing to do, and second, I hope you can benefit from what I have learned because I want to first share any kind of prosperity with my family. You all supported me in your own way and I want to show you how much I appreciate that. What I have to tell you, I have to stress that this is only my truth because one of the things I discovered is that there are many truths that people live and the only way to cooperate with everyone is to allow each person to live his or her own truth, and for me, that is the fascinating part of life is meeting new people and asking them what their truth is, what their story is all about. I love hearing the stories of the mysterious elephant as if we are all waking around blind, like the one I described for piece/day 136. It’s like we are able to feel and sense, but not able to see it. I liked it brother when you described the tusks, and sister that was great when you described the eyes and eye lids. I liked it when you all described the head, ears, trunk, mouth, tongue, teeth, the body, and legs. It sounds like there are no parts remaining except my part. As we found the elephant has similar body parts as we do, I conclude the only part we didn’t talk about was the butt. I got stuck with describing the butt. Is this like a joke? I feel like I got stuck with the butt of the joke, but from my perspective, and in my opinion in the reality that I have created, it is actually the best part of this mystery because once this piece fits, it opens up the cages to so many wonderful creatures that we can’t even imagine what they are all like.

I studied a lot about myself. I used myself to experiment with. I wanted to be able to discover the truth of how and why we were created. For whatever reason I chose “truth” as being something special and so I decided to be a “truthful” person. I am happy to inform you that I have failed at this process. It feels good to finally admit that I have been a failure of truth. To be good at “truth” I had to want to tell the truth 100% of the time. I did believe that I was telling the truth, and that is how I know I was a failure. I wish someone could have told me that it is impossible to be 100% truthful all the time. Perhaps this will be good advice to seekers of truth. If anyone ever says, “I am 100% truthful, my best advice would be to run from them as fast as you could unless it was someone like Jesus, Mohammed, Mosses, Buddah, Quan Yin or Mother Mary.

I would like to say I’m 90% truthful, but you know what, I don’t care anymore. I held a high standard for myself and I lived up to what I expected myself to live up to. The biggest question about being truthful was when I worked at Medina Academy. According to cultural and working expectations, there’s a don’t ask don’t tell policy that is unwritten. I did tell the board and my friend of the community when I was hired that I wasn’t the best Muslim in the world and they accepted. Am I Muslim now? Am I Catholic, Christian, or Hindu now? Does it matter? There’s still so many things that I don’t know and so I don’t know how to answer those questions.

So here I am, on my deathbed, and I still don’t understand many things about life? Do I have to come back to another life to have the opportunity to explore the mystery again? My biggest questions in my mind is what is consciousness? Where does it reside in our bodies? Is it the same thing as what others call life? I am currently fascinated with balance. I wonder where our balance point is in our bodies. This must be something robotic engineers deal with. It seems like that in human-type robots, there is a central balance point. How does that relate to where the brains of the robot is put? Are the computers of the robot always stored in the head? How does this hologram work as a group consciousness? Is a majority needed before evolving?

I did write in a will as far as financial compensation. For my children, I think the most valuable thing is a good education as long as you put it to use. If you don’t put your education to use, then it wasn’t a good education. So many of you have been educated. Use your knowledge to help others. The first person to help, always, is to help yourself. You know when you have helped yourself and that is when you have few worries. When you have few worries, then this is the best time to help others. You can start in your neighborhood by picking up trash on the ground, then ask about others whom you have a concern. Make your neighborhood strong first. Then start asking about your surrounding neighborhoods, then your city, then state, then country, then world. Sometimes your world will be your neighbor or brother or sister-in-law. So, my children, if there is money available, I hope you take your time at good schools and learn as much as you can from teachers who have experience in what they are teaching.

Perhaps I’m on my deathbed. It’s ironic that I don’t need any more stories at this time. I suppose even an old Master Storyteller needs to take a break. What I could use from everyone is a big hug. I hope everyone can see that it was just some kind of terrible story we were living that I or we had woven together, but I hope that you can also see the beauty in the story. I cannot do anything for our brothers and sisters who took another path any more than I could have if they died 1,000 years ago. We are always where we have to be because we are all evolving together. We are all loveing together. Can you give me a hug? I hope you understand my truth.

Although I’m on my deathbed, I write as if I’m going to live for at least 44 more years. This is a time that we need to learn from history as we go forward. We want to evolve consciously, knowing what our goal is and taking the right legal steps to go forward. When we take the necessary legal steps, we can accelerate the process of evolving and this is, again, an example of telling the truth.

To all of you, for example, I have no problem with explaining my “drug” usage. I don’t like using the word “drug” because it has many negative connotations to it. I prefer the term plant medicine because it is designed from nature, or for us, according to the Goldilocks theory which means that what has been designed for us, all things natural, are “Just right.” All things produced by men and women should be in question, but may be found to be helpful, like a good Dr. Seuess book like the Butter Battle Book. This book should be read to young people so they can discover what adults really did discover. This book is based on a true story. This is a perfect example of what happened between American and the Soviet Union. What did we learn from that?

So, I want to tell you about my drug use and what I have learned from it. First, I want to say that I writing to you from a position of freedom, as if there is an old dying many on his deathbed in the hospital. What are they going to do, throw an old useless weak man in the jail? That would be a waste of their time and money and it wouldn’t make them look too strong. They should have nothing to fear. I have no where in the world to go, although I would love to explore central and south America.

So, if I say that I have found the natural drugs of marijuana and ayahuasca beneficial, should I now be afraid of pharmaceutical companies who make money selling drugs to people or of strict religious folks? It’s legal for pharms to sell drugs and I sincerely hope they are helping a lot of people. In my opinion, most illnesses are a result of the wrong kinds of thoughts and marijuana and ayahuasca help to connect to one’s true inner self, per my experience and this is the best feeling in the world. When I make that connection, I feel I am at one with myself, I am who I am, and there is no better feeling in the world.

Although, the TCH lasts for only 3 or 4 hours, I can carry that good feeling of connection and peace the entire day and I get to wake up and do it again the next day. I have experimented with what I consider to be small amounts, three to five milligrams in the morning. My ideal going to sleep time is 9:30, that means, climbing in bed and winding down, then my ideal waking up time is 3:00 am and that’s when I take the 3-5 mg of plant medicine, sit quietly, usually legs crossed, lights off and a cup of coffee within reach. I wait for my mind to be quiet of all thoughts and listen for the sound current. When I can hear the sound current, then I know I am tapped in. At this point, I’m not sure what happens, but it feels often that the sound current brings in downloads, as if they can only be brought in when there is complete silence. Sometime during my meditation I tell myself that there are to be no thoughts allowed from 15 minutes to one hour. Sometimes during my quiet sessions, after quieting my mind, I see “movies.” They are like dreams but I’m more conscious that of what I am seeing. It could be a scenario played out in a restaurant, school, park, shopping center, etc. It could be an interaction with one person or with a whole group. The rule is when one of these scenarios doen’t feel good, then choose a new story that does, and open eyes if necessary. This is a general rule for life.

My point in telling about TCH and things I’ve been hearing recently about CBD is that this easy-to-grow plant can have many benefits and I believe should be explored. And so, I’m not trying to put anyone out of business by my outlook on the future, I’m just saying that companies should always, as a good business practice, be on the lookout for the cheese moving. This concept is a good one as explained easily in the book, “who moved the cheese?” Perhaps in the future, people won’t reach for the Advil but go to the “herb” store first. How will our youth handle this? I think the more honest we are with our children, the less they will feel a need for weed. The age limits that are law need to apply. If anyone breaks a law, it is a risk he or she is taking. The amount of THC that I take is the balance I have found for my body/life. If I were to take some before a work, I probably would take more than 3mg 5 hours before the start of my job. That way I know I would be ready to focus on my work. I tried experimenting with smoking weed. I have found this fun for going on a visual journey at times, but these journeys can also be a bit spooky if you are not prepared for them. Smoking weed before bed can both help and hinder sleep, so overall, I don’t smoke it. What I enjoy the most are my early morning meditations alone with 3-5 mg at the start. This is not addicting. I usually don’t take anything on Fridays just to show myself I’m not addicted” and I have found I can easily stop for 10 days if necessary. What I have found to be “addicting” is the following.

New information/ideas

Creative flow of ideas

The sensation in body, of feeling entire body in the present moment (maybe this is a guy thing that I normally don’t “feel” my body)

Experience of different dimension

Journeys – taking trips, having new experiences, like being in a video game

So, in other words, I have found a little TCH to be very helpful on a daily basis and it is not something I would want to discontinue. I think children don’t need it because they are, for the most part, born being aligned with their true selves. We, somewhere along the way, got sucked into this cultural/world reality and now, I finally found a way back to my, what I call “true” self. I know it is true because I can feel it, and it feels good. I know that not everyone has the advantage I do of having completed a good life and now I have virtually no responsibility. I’m just saying that those who are busy and working 100 mph, I think it would be helpful to have a meditation routine and of course I would recommend experimenting with a little ingestible THC, but first check with you doctor and local ordinances, age limits/privileges apply, something adults all had to deal with growing up.

THC helped me on a daily basis to get in touch with myself. As of this writing, I’ve only been experimenting with it for the last 2.5 years. The big reality buster was my four ceremonies of Ayahuasca at Rythmia in Costa Rica just last July. It’s difficult to describe those journeys, but in summary, it was a good reality buster/paradigm shifter. I would gladly go back once or twice a year for a tune up. The Ayahuasca experience and my writing in Boston are good examples of the freedoms we have in America and that really do work. I can go experiment with Ayahuasca in Costa Rica. It is considered a Schedule one drug, and therefore illegal in the US. It is a natural plant substance which the body also produces. In America, I am free to talk about this experience. I was free to spend my $5,000 in travel money to do this a beautiful luxury resort in Costa Rica. In Boston, I can go to Salem, to the TCH shop under the watch of Police, but in a few states in the United States, I would not be allowed this privilege, and could be written up for possession. In America, I have the freedom to live peacefully with people who oppose THC or weed. I experienced this in Washington, California, and Massachusetts. . The reason I wanted to talk about my drug use is because I want to tell you what I learned about TCH and Ayahuasca. I wanted to share my “truth” experience with all and this will lead to discussion about my writing, the Global Goals, and the nature of our consciousness. I’m guessing, however, that will be for other days. I will conclude this part with some notes I took during my recent meditations.

At the top of my pad, before I go into meditation, I write, “How does this hologram work?” I do this because I’m experimenting with Spirit, and so I write a question for Spirit in hopes that I will be revealed the answer. I used to write my notes directly on the computer, but I now write them by hand. I have found this to be better as I can summarize my writing and spend more time visualizing and feeling.

Notes:“We are all created to be Masters of our own destiny. We were dropped into the middle of Earth and were told, “Now you can be the master of your own destiny.” The first requirement, although very obvious, is not taken by many individuals. The first think one has to do is take 100% responsibility for everything, the good and the bad. (this is explained in many new age books)

Possible poem – the nicest guy in the world – rhyme

Game for the park. “Watch for ____ (e.g. 15) minutes” Start with inside circle. Start with inner circle of 5-10 people. These are people who “Know” what to do. They circle around with backs to each other and watch the crowd. When the crowd starts to watch them, then game is on. The only task of the inner group would be to “watch” for 15 minutes. The fun is the new comers to the inner circle. New comers who know how the game is played walk up to the circle and with their eyes or quietly ask, “What’s the game?” In this case, someone whispers quietly, “Wait and stare out for 15 minutes. We’re about 5 minutes in, and then the circle expands and the new comer stands shoulder to shoulder of the inner circle looking out to the crowd, not interacting with them. The idea is that it’s fun to have the new comers join because they know the game. Ultimately, it’s about being one with all and not sharing what we know with each other.

I am this point where the look in my eyes and the question or pleas on my tongue to my brothers and sisters is “Can you help?”

We are exploring consciousness/mystery. There is no truth. There’s “truth” now, but know that it will change.

If police ask you to leave, please leave. Make friends with the police, they are there for our protection. Remember their job is to enforce the rules. Do your best to stay out of the assistant principal’s office, play by the rules, or in the case of real life, stay out of jail. Don’t spend all of your time arguing about the rules. Use your recess time to have fun with each other. Try to make a new friend every day. The principal is there to make sure you have the best learning experience and the police are there for that reason as well.

The people who go out to play 2030 games share the 2030 Global Goals and more. They may stop playing the 2030 game on January 1, 2031 but the hope is that adults continue to play. If they still need structure to play, they should know by 2028 and make new Goals and call them 2045.

Part of being, “one of the people” is I can tell the truth, which is really difficult to tell. For example, if I share this website with the public, it may be hard for me to get another principal job, or will it? Would parents want a principal who experiments with plant medicine for the purpose of conscious evolution which includes fun exploration?

Part of respecting a religious belief, is understanding that some of their teachings were given to them hundreds or thousands of years ago. Homosexuality is a good example of this. Many older religions say that God does not allow homosexuality, however, in America same-sex marriage was passed by the Supreme court for all of the United States. Religious people don’t have to believe what people of same-sex marriage believe, but in America, playing by the rules means each side respects each other’s perspective, which means we do not have to agree with each other on lifestyle perspectives, but in 3D, we all promise to live by the rules. People of same-sex marriage should also understand that those who follow the rules of their ancient scripture are doing their best to follow their version of truth. The question is, can we rise above personal choices and see that we are all much more than the identities we call ourselves? Will we be able to realize that we are all a magnificent creation here in physical for to experience life and in doing so we can interact with each other as a unified family of many brothers and sisters.

In America, if you don’t like the rules, you are free to leave the country. You can also stay and help our system to evolve, help to change the rules. When the system evolves, we all evolve. Also understand that it does take time to change rules. This is part of life.

“Find your balance” has been a good formula for me, especially in regards to alcohol and drugs.

It feels like I’m waking up from a nightmare. I feel bad on the one hand of the culture, reality that I was born into, but it also feels good to be waking up and when I see the smiles on the faces of others who have woken up, it is all worth it. It is fun to be forward looking and backwards forgetting.

Because I believe we (Pops and Kma) have something worthwhile to say we don’t need a lot of money and we certainly don’t want fame. We like our anonymity. It’s quiet there.

People who play at the park, who have fun getting to know people of different varieties have the feeling of “I surrender. I give up. I have no enemies. What’s your story? Let’s get to know each other and share a few laughs.”

My “thing” in this life was to tell the truth, but I found this to be an impossible task. I try hard not to lie. I would hate to be called a liar. I do like, at least, believing that I tell the Truth 90% of the time. The other day a phone solicitor called and asked for “Robert” and in that second of thought, “What to do?” I told him it was the wrong number. He apologized and I felt bad because I decided to lie on the spot. “What right did a stranger have of calling me in the middle of my day in the middle of my house, in the middle of thinking about a bunch of stuff,” I argued with myself. It was a small event that made me realize that I just can’t tell the truth all of the time. Truth, I have found, takes time to discover and it has many layers and facets to it.

I feel like I’m just beginning to understand the nature of life and of the mystery.

It’s possible that those who are still stuck in 3D programming will call me the Antichrist and make a big deal out of my six, six, six symbol although I call it a nine, nine, nine symbol, similar to Google’s.

This has to be the greatest time to ever be alive

I, Robert, am a “slow” thinker. It is uncomfortable for me to be put on the spot. I am not great with names and dates, but I have processed hundreds of concepts. When I’m asked a question, even something as simple as “If a dozen eggs cost 12c, then how much money does 100 eggs cost?” Although a very simple question, when put on the spot, my public identity tries to come forward but it just messes things up. It doesn’t want to show any “thinking time” on camera, in other words, there should be no pausing for the answers. I don’t want to be answering questions, I want to be the one asking questions, like how does the hologram work, or why are we here, where does our consciousness sit? To me, questions, the exploration of the unknown, are the fun part of life. In other words, as a Metaphysicist, I live in the mystery on a daily basis.

I really hope this works out in America and for America. I don’t have a plan B in mind, but it may be something like Costa Rica. If this American with big ideas doesn’t work out here, then I would be happy to support the people in Costa Rica. Just as I would like to see America and Americans out of Debt, I would like to see All people out of debt. I would start with Costa Rica because it is close to home, they managed to get by without an army and I could learn from Shamans there. My services would be available. How can I help?

After his morning writing, Pops read through Chapter 6 of his Shaman book, trying to make sure he understood what a sacred dream means. He highlighted the following quotes:

“I am.These are two of the most powerful words in our language. Whatever words we place after these two words shapes our reality for the entire day, and sometimes for the rest of our lives.”

“If you live long enough, you will get to ask the question, ‘Who am I?’ It’s a terrible question, because it launches you on a journey into places and experiences that are unknown.”

“You discover the ‘I am’ by releasing the stories of anger, fear, hunger, and loneliness to the fire, because you are not those stories.”

“You let go to the need to place something after ‘I am _________,” because you now recognize it is a complete statement.”

“You build your holy fire of the ‘I am’ inside your heart.”

“This practice will set your entire life on fire. It does not mean that your past will magically disappear and you will become a new person overnight. It means that you will realize you are not any of the events of stories that happened to you in your life. You are not the product of an unhappy childhood, or the child of alcoholic parents, or the survivor of a health crisis. You will become the dream and not the dream, the storyteller and not the story.”