tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14613670310841755332017-09-24T01:37:29.348-07:00Narcissism Support ResourcesFor survivors of narcissistic abuse. Emphasis on narcissistic disorders across the spectrum including psychopathy. Information and support resources by a recovered survivor/counsellor.
(Archive of MSN group, Narcissism Support Group/ Moral &amp; Spiritual Struggle.)Invicta MAhttps://plus.google.com/105798028940825706122noreply@blogger.comBlogger55125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-64376443559763179822013-02-15T14:36:00.000-08:002013-05-22T10:15:19.245-07:00Ten Ways to Freedom from NarcissistsNovember 3, 2009
Once in a while, someone writes to me for advice. I do not counsel over the net. But the issues that come up are usually the same ones over and over again because disordered machinations are predictably similar.
The following are all steps that I took to free myself from psychoguy's poisonous grasp. It very important to understand that the moves narcissists and psychopaths Invicta MAhttps://plus.google.com/105798028940825706122noreply@blogger.com138tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-29251726162841423502009-01-31T23:34:00.000-08:002013-05-22T10:16:58.680-07:00Know Your LimitsDecember 5, 2011
Where to begin? After 20 years I went back to visit my mother, a year and a half after my father died. Within the last ten years, my parents couldn't find me.
Were my parents narcissists? I don't think so. But they were severely damaged people, thanks to a World War they endured as little more than children. Which means they suffered tremendous loss, displacement, and Invicta MAhttps://plus.google.com/105798028940825706122noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-58394827953235552512009-01-31T23:33:00.000-08:002011-12-06T10:44:04.945-08:00Afterlife Without NarcissistsJanuary 8, 2010Someone, a long while ago asked what my life was like now, in the aftermath of the aftermath.Actually there isn't much to say, because in my day to day life, I don't think about it.If asked to think about it, there is no doubt that I recall that my brain was fried to a crisp by my encounter with a psychopath; I suspect that some of the damage is permanent. I haven't forgotten, Invicta MAhttps://plus.google.com/105798028940825706122noreply@blogger.com32tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-81358384598763146882009-01-31T11:32:00.000-08:002013-11-17T12:44:09.774-08:00Loving Narcissists and the Myth of No ContactNovember 18, 2009
I think that the exhortation of "no contact" with the narcissist, although rightful in its claim, loses something in the execution. If you begin with "no contact" as a strategy or goal, you are likely to fail. Your feelings and belief system will conquer you. "No contact" is not a must per se; it is something that you find yourself desiring because now you have the Invicta MAhttps://plus.google.com/105798028940825706122noreply@blogger.com56tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-44205552919285596672009-01-28T23:58:00.000-08:002009-11-18T12:13:39.049-08:00WELCOME HOME Free: Cleckley's "Mask of Sanity"(Pdf format) Survivors Speak "To my experience, a favored technique for Narcissists is to debilitate your identity [personally, I hate the term self-esteem] by levelling false accusations and/or questioning your honesty, fidelity, trustworthiness, your “true” motivations, your “real” character, your sanity and judgement.”
"He was the MASTER of Invicta MAhttps://plus.google.com/105798028940825706122noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-24009222687585564252009-01-28T23:53:00.000-08:002009-02-02T02:00:46.521-08:00Mission: Help Yourself (Archive)Welcome To Our World This is a place for healing; a place for binding your wounds while binding the wounds of others. It all starts with questions, whether moral/spiritual/existential or practical, that relate to one's encounter with psychopaths or pathological narcissists. If you are in the midst of, or have left, a relationship with someone you suspect to be severely character disordered read Invicta MAhttps://plus.google.com/105798028940825706122noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-10803273623775377752009-01-28T23:39:00.000-08:002013-11-18T12:16:33.238-08:00Sites To Avoid
[This rather rambling article is quite dated now, but the historical facts/truths of the early days remain the same. ~InvictaMA, 2013]
The Buddha said,
Do not believe anything on the mere authority of teachers or priests. Accept as true and as the guide to your life only that which accords with your own reason and experience, after thorough investigation. Accept only that which Invicta MAhttps://plus.google.com/105798028940825706122noreply@blogger.com37tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-50289485188607858262009-01-28T23:37:00.001-08:002009-11-20T13:54:57.140-08:00Online "Help" To AvoidNovember 18, 2009When Victims Prey on VictimsThe internet is an excellent place to make lots of money.Over the years on the internet, I've noticed that the narcissism "business" has flourished by leaps and bounds. There is no greater and easier mark than someone reeling in confusion from an encounter with a narcissist/psychopath. There are no more vulnerable people than children and the Invicta MAhttps://plus.google.com/105798028940825706122noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-22988466079615335692009-01-28T23:36:00.000-08:002009-11-20T13:58:13.721-08:00The Trap Imagine this.... You've been invited to a party, but you realize on the day you're pretty sure the party is happening that you're not sure what kind of party it is or what time you should arrive. Well, you're smart and you'll give it your best shot. So you dress in a kind of neutral casual-dressy style and show up at seven. * As you come up the walk, you can hear the sounds of a party: music,Invicta MAhttps://plus.google.com/105798028940825706122noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-33827141047966139992009-01-28T23:28:00.000-08:002010-01-11T08:46:41.642-08:00Healing FactsOver the past year, I've discovered that the path of healing is singular for everyone. This article fits my experience and what I have observed in others; it also strengthens that conviction, that we all do what we need to do in order to heal and, yeah, we make mistakes, but without them, we'd be robots. Healing is an ongoing creative process, imo, and so, we stumble and fall..... and rise up Invicta MAhttps://plus.google.com/105798028940825706122noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-39478099116179986312009-01-28T23:24:00.000-08:002010-01-10T08:57:51.597-08:00Surviving Emotional AbuseWhatever kind of abuse, whether physical, or persistent, insidious psychological and emotional abuse, you are not to blame! ~Invicta, MA, 09/02 SHRAPNEL
By Lily DeVilliers
One of the real problems that I have with the current societal view of abuse survivors is the heavy emphasis on self-help-centered 'healing' and 'recovery' from the abuse.
Domestic Invicta MAhttps://plus.google.com/105798028940825706122noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-57084622311238025142009-01-28T23:01:00.000-08:002010-09-25T21:44:22.086-07:00A Soul With No Footprints* Narcissism is considered a less severe form of psychopathy.
This opinion piece arises from my experiences in several support groups and the concerns that survivors bring to them and how those concerns are treated. It is also based on my own experience in healing. Healing is a mysterious process. We use the word, but what does it mean? Does it mean the scars don't Invicta MAhttps://plus.google.com/105798028940825706122noreply@blogger.com56tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-43361967545931435422009-01-28T22:54:00.000-08:002009-01-28T23:01:15.293-08:00Obsession~obsession~ I've written about this to some extent in "A Soul with No Footprints". People tend to look upon continuous, seemingly circular thinking about the abusive/disordered ex or soon-to-be ex as pathological. Sure we can get stuck in the same old stuff, but I think that that has more to do with the way we think about ourselves and the situation. Instead of realising we are trying to learn Invicta MAhttps://plus.google.com/105798028940825706122noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-30055882251442028752009-01-28T22:47:00.000-08:002009-01-28T22:52:57.913-08:00Ways To Healing(Article based on my experience) You begin in shock. In disbelief. You may suffer from Post Traumatic Stress (I did). As you are beginning to re-remember, the feelings are going to be overwhelming. Every emotion under the sun. Chaotic feelings. Tremendous ambivalence. Anger, hatred, vengefulness, murder, all the really nasty stuff. Terrible, soul-tearing loneliness. This is normal, this is you Invicta MAhttps://plus.google.com/105798028940825706122noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-19625367280078456072009-01-28T22:44:00.000-08:002010-01-08T14:24:33.784-08:00Forgiveness Forgiveness is something you can't really DO, that is, WILL. It comes, as healing comes- it is given to you. But in a most surprising way! Healing Is Forgiveness Manifested In the aftermath of my encounter with an Internet psychopath or "cyberpath"- a severe form of mental rape along the narcissism continuum, I have puzzled over what "forgiveness" means, in books, and on theInvicta MAhttps://plus.google.com/105798028940825706122noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-62105566873640564082009-01-28T22:41:00.000-08:002010-01-11T08:37:07.683-08:00PUSH: Letting GoHow's that for a contradiction in terms?thegiven, as a long term survivor, has written a wise article on what it means to hope and pray, and to let go and let things and life be. ~Invicta 10/03PUSH from the journals of thegivenBefore you jump to conclusions about what this page is about, first hear me out. My reason in making this the second most important page down from my welcome, is that it's Invicta MAhttps://plus.google.com/105798028940825706122noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-3018800219559865092009-01-28T22:38:00.000-08:002010-01-11T08:49:05.336-08:00HEALING: Leaving the NetLeaving the InternetI suppose it is hard to understand why anyone would actually want to give up dealing with narcissism and psychopathy, especially when all the accumulated experience and knowledge could help people. In the past couple of years I have been talked back into staying (managing the group) even though I had begun to chafe at the chains that bind me to everyone who has truly suffered Invicta MAhttps://plus.google.com/105798028940825706122noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-61122044464487457842009-01-28T22:37:00.000-08:002010-01-09T17:19:56.358-08:00Recovery SignpostsIndicators of Recovering Reclaiming and renewing yourself does not happen quickly, nor in any measurable way except that which you are mindful of. It takes enormous courage and determination, and time without boundaries. One day, you will look at the list and you will be surprised. ~ Invicta 02/13/03 Willingness to look the abuse in the face, acknowledge to yourself, and endure, the hurt, the Invicta MAhttps://plus.google.com/105798028940825706122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-36248264503926201022009-01-28T22:20:00.000-08:002013-11-16T11:44:56.171-08:00Conscience Continuum: Paranoid-Narcissism Spectrum
Narcissism is a somewhat less severe form of psychopathy.
"It manifests aggressive, paranoid, and borderline characteristics, but
more commonly appears in the form of envy, greed, power lust, an
extensively rationalized sense of entitlement, and a pathological
grandiose self. Unlike psychopaths, narcissists can experience loyalty
and guilt; but like psychopaths, narcissists lack empathy Invicta MAhttps://plus.google.com/105798028940825706122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-21268677573008009812009-01-28T22:18:00.000-08:002013-11-16T11:12:52.926-08:00Pathologizing the Victim: Codependency Facts
Codependency?
I am strongly opposed to the notion of co-dependency, especially in relation to survivors of abuse. My view is that human beings are interdependent. "Co-dependence", it seems, is all about lack and emptiness, all about us and a focus on getting our needs met. It becomes all about us. So that even loving, caring behaviours, the desire for attachment, can be distorted and Invicta MAhttps://plus.google.com/105798028940825706122noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-73780192627733759632009-01-28T22:17:00.000-08:002013-11-16T11:09:56.016-08:00Blaming Victim: Codependency Model
"When the term chemical dependent emerged
as the new label for both alcoholics and drug addicts, the term
codependent was coined to describe their partners (Beattie 1989;
Bradshaw 1988; Cermak 1986; Mendenhall 1989; Rothberg 1986; Schaef
1986). Rothberg (1986) articulates the notion that problem drinkers and
their partners develop complementary relationships in which each
reinforces the Invicta MAhttps://plus.google.com/105798028940825706122noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-79379744876264957982009-01-28T22:03:00.000-08:002010-01-17T19:43:06.604-08:00Myth of BorderlineVery controversial.Unplugging Borderline Personality DisorderI find mythologising pretty rampant on the internet. And Real Life is no exception. When I was in graduate school, the prof I esteemed most, happened to be a Professor of Psychiatry. He taught the class in Abnormal Psych. This is what he had to say about Borderline Personality Disorder: that it was a "garbage can" label for a cluster Invicta MAhttps://plus.google.com/105798028940825706122noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-4325634997503295602009-01-28T22:01:00.000-08:002009-01-28T22:03:30.720-08:00Unfailing Love Unfailing Love Love can fail, and we must know it can fail. For if love was always reciprocated, how could there ever be sincere love? Rather, every person retains his free will. No matter how strong you pull with cords of love in the right direction, he may always turn his back and run away. But you have done your part, you have shown love. And what is the reward for that love? It is Invicta MAhttps://plus.google.com/105798028940825706122noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-60692303702029860952009-01-28T21:56:00.000-08:002010-01-11T08:50:48.754-08:00From the Child of A NarcissistFrom the child of a pathological narcissist: Surviving Narcissus In those quiet moments When the world slipped away... I believed. Quiet passion, breath, lips to skin. I believed in my creation Which was rapidly changing before me Dying, So that I could no longer believe in life. His jokes were more cruel in those days. His crowd-moving charisma had become More like impatient, self-seeking Invicta MAhttps://plus.google.com/105798028940825706122noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-28313036131010585522009-01-28T21:54:00.000-08:002011-05-20T10:46:20.740-07:00Grieving the RelationshipI found this to be an inspired, meticulous and empathetic detailing of the grief experience. Truly amazing. ~Invicta Author: nickyskye Subject: grieving a N My heart goes out to you in your recovery. Grieving the loss of a relationship with a N has many layers. They are not the usual layers of grieving a healthy person. The problem is that some of the layers ARE the same as grieving a healthyInvicta MAhttps://plus.google.com/105798028940825706122noreply@blogger.com36