Police Beat

April 15

(2010-176992) 4:29 p.m.: A man robbed Chase Bank on South Kirkman Road and fled with cash in hand. Cops saw him getting into a cab, so they Chased him down.

(2010-177412) 10 p.m.: A man was stabbed at the SaveRite on West Colonial Drive and taken to the hospital, while the suspect — found along with the knife in the 900 block of North John Young Parkway — was taken someplace else.

(2010-177505) 11 p.m.: Two men with guns roughed up and robbed a man at Boston Common Street and Fremont Park Avenue.

April 16

(2010-177574) 12:45 a.m.: A man and a woman were sharing a car seat in the 4400 block of Scenic Lake Drive when a bullet barged into the vehicle and hit the woman in the shoulder. Equally rude were the bullet's buddies, flying glass shards, which cut the back of the woman's head.

(2010-177670) 2:29 a.m.: How to pass a slow night on East Colonial Drive? Try waving a knife and chasing a woman through the Walgreens parking lot, then hiding ineffectually in a nearby dumpster with two knives still in your pocket. The rest of your night will take care of itself.

(2010-178009) 9:31 a.m.: When a man left his car keys in the ignition at Goma Peace Food Store on South Tampa Avenue, a bystander leaped in and drove off. Spotted near Johnson Village, he smacked the car into a tree and was collared nearby.

(2010-183322) 10 a.m.: Someone got into a Porsche in a driveway in the 800 block of Ridgewood Street and took change, a spare key and a garage remote. Thus fortified, they left the Porsche and used the remote to secure a humbler means of escape: two 21-speed bicycles.

(2010-178412) 11 a.m.: Three cars were burglarized around the same time near the 7800 block of St. Andrews Circle, but from one unlocked vehicle thieves scored a .380 pistol.

(2010-179192) 9:24 p.m.: Two women and a man failed to successfully burglarize a house in the 500 block of North Tampa Avenue, but fired two gunshots while they were at it and sped off in a black SUV.

April 17

(2010-180009) 8:15 a.m.: A man busted through a glass door at an apartment on Oak Park Way, broke stuff inside and beat up the female resident, but then took off and was arrested near Pershing Avenue and South Goldenrod Road.

(2010-180421) 3 p.m.: In a parking lot on the 6200 block of International Drive, an enterprising man was nabbed for trying car doors and peeking in windows.

(2010-180474) 3:15 p.m.: A man with two teardrop tattoos on his face didn't want to cry alone, so at the corner of North John Young Parkway and West Concord Street he punched another guy in the eye and ran.

(2010-180937) 9:11 p.m.: Craigslist ad: Come to Village Lake Apartments on Bottlebrush Lane for a free armed robbery. Oh, wait — the original ad just offered a cell phone for sale.

(2010-181011) 9:50 p.m.: If you lift your shirt for me, guy in the 700 block of South Tampa Avenue, I'll give you $2,100. Sorry, I can't help staring at … that gun in your waistband.

(2010-181190) 11:55 p.m.: Police expected to see a mentally disturbed man in the 4500 block of Three Lakes Circle, and indeed the man was "agitated at the sight of the police." Unexpected was the smoke emerging from the house's kitchen, which officers followed inside. "The fire was started by lighting a roll of toilet paper with the stove," Officer Justin Lay reports.

April 18

April 19

(2010-182533) 12:09 a.m.: Tip for eager young robbery suspects: When you're dodging the cops afterward, ditch your bag of pot and crack before they escort you to the back of the car, not during the walk.

(2010-182654) 2:30 a.m.: Another .380 pistol gets ganked from a car in the tens block of North Orange Avenue. Unattended guns: deterrence just as effective for cars as for homes!

(2010-183852) 8:38 p.m.: A guy held up a 7-Eleven on West Colonial Drive and ran, thanking heaven all the way.

(2010-184035) 11:30 p.m.: And over at the 7-Eleven on Edgewater Drive, two men in black — including masks and gloves — took money at gunpoint. Thank you, sir, may we have another?

April 20

(2010-185636) 8 p.m.: A man was fatally stabbed in the neck with scissors during a fight in front of the Orange County Public Library on East Central Boulevard. Police quickly arrested a man behind the library, with the scissors next to him on a ledge. Officers said he admitted to the murder: "He punched me in the face and I got to do what I have to do. These people around here know not to mess with me."