christmas morning again when i got to my mailbox (or MALEBOX, if you will...) and found my new international male catalogue. (btw: they are really called undergear now, but i can't seem to get on board with that one. it doesn't have the same panache.)

so, for you males of discriminating taste out there, we've selected a few goodies--hope you've got a good bail bondsman on retainer, because it would be a CRIME to pass up these items.... (wow. stretching on that one a little bit. but it feels oh-so right.)

have you always wanted to experience the exciting job opportunities in the male escort industry, but your family therapist/pastor/stake president always prevented you from doing so? well, our victorian shirt and martello leather shoe will make you feel like you are right on the front escorting lines WITOUT losing your church membership! try it! you'll like it!

jealous much of your baby's onesie? we can fix that with our ug striped step-in--so comfy and functional--who says having something that snaps in your crotch can't be fun? certainly NOT us... (and definitely not him.)

our tactic sport cargo short and sleeveless hoodie is what you'll be sure to wear if you want the adult male equivalent of your lunch money taken from you. after that you can be shoved into one of the gym's lockers just for old time's sake while you cry for your mother.

feel bad that you didn't get to wrestle and wear one of those groovy singlets in high school? our sports wrestler in canary yellow will make all your sports fantasies come true--organize a neighborhood grappling party and be the envy of all when you wear this spectacular wardrobe essential. TRUST US. (man boobs not included.)

if you've been wanting to drop a cool fifty bucks on some undies that look strangely female, than the ed hardy love kills slowly trunk should be just what you're looking for. they are "snug fit", so be sure to go up a size. or four.

in order to get ahead in this world, you have to dress for success--nothing says "capable, trustworthy male" like our leather weston pant in butterscotch. pair it with our floral button-down and you'll forget that you are wearing pants that require a 2-step process that involves baby powder and wesson oil. and involves the term "butterscotch".

nothing exudes class like "man-pris" and camouflage--our evolution tank and brandon capri allow you to showcase your fun-loving side as you fill your 64-ounce mug with mountain dew at maverick. also a good choice for shopping for nascar collectibles to fill your "man curio" cabinet back at the trailer park.

the biscayne blazer and antonio zengara rainbow boot are the items to have when you are really ready to "take it up a notch"--could your woman possibly resist a boot with shimmer in it? oh, that's right--SHE CAN'T. be a winner. be a MAN. wear the floral.

if you've missed our other international male postings, then we feel sorry for you--

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comments:

Mindi, If you're wondering where I came from . . .I left a comment in a past post with the cool star Amy made. I just had to say that I am laughing out loud like I do when I watch Scrubs. You are hillarious!Katie Fowler Smith

Please read the earlier comment so I don't feel like such a dork for jumping in here to leave my word! Bed Time! See Ya! (Let me see how many exlamation points I can use!)

THIS WAS HYSTERICAL! I am dying over here! I really think you should write for their catalog!I really would LOVE to get my hands on a pair of those 'killer' briefs! My DH would be a KILLER in them! LOL