Rudy loves him some Bryce Harper, but don’t we all (now)? The question on March 20th from Brandon Funston was, “(You picked) Bryce Harper, Round 1, Pick 13 … That’s about 20 picks higher than the brilliant (sic) minds that compose the Yahoo! ADP. Would you please tell our constituents why they are selling Boy Wonder short? What is a realistic best-case roto line for Harper in ’13?” Besides Harper, our team in F&F looks putrid right now, so there’s that. So There’s That, Part II: There’s More; Our ERA is at a one and WHIP is at a one due to Marmol and Axford crapping the bed, then asking us to sleep in said bed, but we own Verlander, so we should get better. In the podcast, Rudy goes over where he’d draft Harper now if he had the chance. SPOILER ALERT: It’s top five. We also go over some other hot out-of-the-gaters (Chris Davis, Dexter Fowler, Mike Napoli and Shin-Soo Choo), go over our Arenado fantasy in the spoken form after doing it in written form yesterday, and Rudy takes his metaphorical scalpel to Matt Moore and Clay Buchholz. “I will slice you!” That’s Rudy waving his metaphorical scalpel near anyone that badmouths the Stream-o-Nator. JB “Big Biscuit” Gilpin talks about Tony Cingrani. Also, Biscuit takes a moment to note that his preseason prediction that Ryan Dempster would have mixed league value doesn’t look so crazy now. Or does it, Overlord Grey? Did I just make a rhetorical question to myself or am I supposed to answer that? The Guru was supposed to join us for another addition of ‘Jam It or Cram It,’ but he got lost at sea on a Lobster Boat and had to be rescued by fellow Maine resident, Stephen King. We haven’t actually heard back from The Guru yet, but we keep getting emails from “Annie” who asks “Why did you Cram Jackie Bradley Jr.?” and “What type of paper do the Razzball writers prefer?” Quick note: Nick says to remind everyone that the NFL Draft Football Podcast will be posted on Thursday. Football’s the one they play with only their feet *checking notes* Yup, that’s right! Anyway, here’s the Razzball Podcast (now with Rudy in eye black):

After putting out a “will give up pitching for some hitting”, a dude in my league traded away Peavy for Michael Young. Kinda bullchit trade if you ask me, but what can you do. Other than see what other offers he might accept.

I tried Morse and Hellickson for Scherzer. He rejected it.

What do you think I should try given the following guys I am willing to move:

@OaktownSteve: nyuk nyuk nyuk. Have you done a breakdown on Donaldson’s skill set yet? I’d be curious to see your assessment.

As an aside, I remember someone suggesting before that you write for the Razz, and I’d like to reiterate that having semi-regular write-ups from you on a player of your choosing would be damn compelling.

Or, as an alternative, maybe a 2-3 minute Eye-of-the-Needle w/ Oaktown Steve segment on the podcast. Not as much plate spinning as written submissions. Shorter…sweeter…easier…

Thanks man. I’m a big fan of Donaldson. I’ll tell you what I see. Starts with the fact that he’s a really good athlete. Guys around the team talk about the raw talent. You can see it in things like how fast his footwork at 3rd base has come around, the arm strength and so on. I know the A’s tv guys are super homers (especially Foss) but once a week or more the phrase “gold glove” 3rd base comes out of their broadcast and it’s not a ridiculous as it sounds. He’s been both solid and spectacular.

The most important thing about him offensively is the way he uses right field. He’s got a really good approach and has a knack for hitting both the right field alley and also sneaking balls right down the line. He’s definitely a bit of a diver and you’ll see him get dusted off regularly, but he’s fearless and he’s not going to give up the outside half of the plate. He’s quick enough inside that he’ll turn on mistakes even with that inside out first approach and he can definitely drive it. He’s more of a line drive guy so I could see him being a doubles guy. He’s 3rd in MLB in doubles right now (tied with Coco, 1 behind Lowrie…go A’s) and I could see the homer total with a ceiling of 25 and more like 20 likely with good counters, a .270-.280 average.

He has double digit bags in the minors and 9 between MLB and AAA last year. A’s run a lot so 10 steals from a corner a nice possibility. The one A who seem like a lock to play every day too.

He’ll probably cool down here eventually, but he’s working on 3+ months of solid production across the last two seasons and post-season so it feels like it’s starting to stabilize. If you sniff around the nets you can find some scouting mention of him as off the radar good and a guy to keep an eye on.

In 16 team H2H points league- I’m wondering which 3 players are my LEAST valuable in the event something delectable crosses my waiver wire. We keep five players. My first five are keepers, all at great values.

after 5 weeks of data, it appears my team is weakest in homers/rbi’s. So with these people, avila(attempting to waiver buck tonight), goldy,ellis/rutledge/cozart,a.ram (mil one, back soon will also help with this),mccutch,j-up,choo,span. Backups currently are Ellis/EYJ/Mesoraco. Mesoraco will be the one dropped for Buck if I can get him.
1. If I get Buck, who should be dropped upon A.Ram’s return? I’m guessing Avila.
2. If I don’t get Buck, I still need a halfway decent catcher who plays at least most of the time. I’m thinking Suzuki here, as he gets decent counting stats. Others could be Jaso/Castro/Mesoraco or just keep Avila, and hope he stops getting benched more than 1 per week.
Thanks greyed-one.

ShortStop: JayWrong – I didn’t realize how short he was until I realized all his Gifs were pointing upwards but he keeps putting up points in the Jennifer Lawrence category. You can’t find those guys on the bench.

3B: SymphonyOf9 – I figure they have more upside than a house band and besides I get to start 4 guys at the position. That covers a ton of ground.

OF: Smokey – Would steal more if his lungs weren’t so full of cannabinoid laced tar.

SP: Tom Jacks – Jacks those pitches all day long.

LOOGY: Grey – He’s good for one liner-drive and that’s it.

Closer: Rudy – I don’t think he’s that great but then he comes at me with all these numbers and I feel I have to put him back in.

Bench: JB – Starter stuff but what a pinch hitter!

Bench: Kyle the Producer – Think he could start if he took the headphones off and focused on the f&@$ing game!

On the farm: Sky – Like the ceiling but can’t get him to commit to one sport. Scott – Can’t get him off the farm, likes it there, think his future’s in scouting.

@Nick the Podcast Host: I think I want Jay Wrong behind the plate so he can yap the whole time. Reciting his dissertationesque articles to the hitters to lul them to sleep. Not sure how i feel about the cougs playing the field, if anything she is a DH showing that power swing it takes to make Grey commit. Maybe I’m biased, but Sky should be manning 2B, with his Jeff Keppinger versatility and his flashes of Rutledge power he could really make a nice tandem with Tehol at SS, whats worse than sliding into second when you have the crotch of an underwear model staring you in the face, no ones going in head first or even aggressively with that guy there. Oh and two catchers? why you going all Canadien winter with that line-up format, pull some teeth why don’t you.

@Grey: Gracias. Just saw on the Twiiiiiter: “MRI shows Giancarlo Stanton has Grade 2 strained right hamstring. He says he’ll be out a few weeks in a “best-case” scenario ” Not terrible. He’ll be back with Reyes in June and then the “Clown Questions” will be in business!

in a 10 team 6-6 OPS league, with
s.perez
fielder
espinosa/k.johnson
rollins
wright
a-gon
braun
choo
2 utils some mix of headley/a-jax/machado and recently picked up span
and pure bench w.myers
Q. Is Carter/s.smith (with recent c.young, crisp injuries) better than anyone here. . War room said i needed steals the most and Span is the best all around SAGNOFF from the comments (when compared to EYJ and assorted worse others) I’m thinking stay pat.

My pitchers are bumgarner moore zimmermann iwakuma estrada anderson and cingrani. I need a big bat in the outfield, which pitcher should i trade and who should I try to get in return? Also thoughts on brett anderson for the rest of the year?

Summary: Not counting the start of last year – i.e., including this year, over the last full season he’s played – he’s swinging more than anyone in MLB not named Delmon Young, and missing the ball more than anyone including Delmon Young. And his overall line for this time period is basically equivalent to Jason Kubel. (Nice signing there, haloes.)

Not necessarily. It’s hard to know how much it’s the homer in me though I do want to trust my eyes. What’s more, I don’t see either of those other guys regularly. And they have slightly different skill sets. I’m pretty sure Pedro will hit more bombs. Might be willing to gamble that JD is the better all-cat bet.

Grey, whenever you watch Baseball Now do you feel like stomping lil Brian Kenny? He tries to bring his armchair boxing expertise into every show despite the fact there’s a video showing he doesn’t actually know how to punch. Idea for a show: If they replace likable sex pest Harold with Kevin Millar, then “One-Five” could drive Kenny insane by saying nothing but “Got Heeeeem” during debates.

Nice breakdown. That show is actually a of train wreck. Reynolds has a kind of psycho charm I agree but he so ably captures that ex-player who can say the most idiotic things and then refuse to back down, particularly when dealing with a non-ex-player like Kenny. And Kenny seems like his default setting is stuck on argue. It’s actually a pretty rare thing to see two guys to snipe that hard at each other. I can take it in small doses. Rose and Millar…not a minute.

Shallow 10 team 5×5 weekly. My 3 BN slots are dedicated to P’s, so I need a replacement for Stanton. Currently I’m in 1st place with a 9/10 share in the hitting categories, 7 in SB. Moving Frazier from U to OF, so my options are plentiful.

Grey was tellin us he had Matt Moore picked as his Cy Young candidate a few podcasts ago. Today, he doesn’t even stand up for him in the conversation. What gives? Am I not picking up on enough of Grey’s bong-water sarcasm?

Hosmer is really tough to figure out isn’t he? One thing I didn’t realize about him is that he’s kind of a Gregg Jeffries, Todd Marinovich story. Basically ate, slept, lived baseball as a kid. When I saw him first, I noticed the excellent extension in the swing, the good work around the bag on defense, but mostly noticed the confidence. In 2012 he BABIP’d .255 and I heard on of my favorite radio play-by-play guys, Denny Matthews of the Royals, speculate several times that Hosmer seemed really frustrated hitting into outs in the shift.

I guess what I’m on to here is that when a guy that talented goes into the tank as much as he has and you put it together with his background, you can’t help but speculate that it’s mental. And when it’s mental, you never know when the lightbulb can go back on. I think it’s virtually impossible to say. I guess of the guys you mentioned, I’d go with LaRoche just because of the track record but I wouldn’t be surprised if Hosmer finds something at some point this season and goes on a streak. I really feel like there’s a good ballplayer in there trying to get out gosh darn it Stuart Smalley.

2. Span is my 5th Of in a 4Of league. (AND I have Grandy on the DL) I have Chapman, Bailey, Perkins at closer. In a huge roster shaking move Should I trade Span for an unecessary 5th closer in Greg Holland or Frieri?

Probably all 3 see if I can do some 2 for 1’s to improve, BJ/GS combo is like eating Indian food out of a gas station toilet

speaking of Indian Food, when I went to the Troubador I saw that Indian spot my buddy use to play at, It’s Flavor of India, great Tandori, especially the fish. *Note* its been ten years since I’ve been there but my whole meal was good

@Grey: I hear he is coming back from locked up abroad, or is that locked up by a broad….think I have a new reality show idea. Men who are locked down by their over bearing wives ” Locked Up by a Broad”

Another homer for Ortiz. Big Papi has been a very pleasant surprise coming off the DL. I expected him to be pretty if he was healthy, but definitely didn’t think he’d go off like this straight out of the gate.

My buddy (who has bad OF issues) at seperate times offered me
his Heyward for my Granderon and his G. Holland for my Span

I counter offered Beltre/Granderson/Span for his Miggy Cab/Heyward/Greg Holland in an attempt to get Miggy.

He said no but said he would do a deal without Heyward. That being
My Beltre/Granderon/Span for his Miggy Cab/Greg Holland.

My questions for you.

1. Would you accept his counter offer of Beltre/Granderon/Span for his Miggy Cab/Greg Holland

2. If no, how far off is the value (in terms of me overpaying)

3. Regardless of Yes or no, which of these players from his team should I add to the trade in place of Jason Heyward (in the hopes that he would accept and I could get a little more out of him.) – Rutledge, Reddick, Ethier, D Brown, Morrow, Quintana, Cashner, Straily

Once again. I really appreciate your time and advice. Have a great night

Sup guys, just checking in. My team is like, dominant. didn’t take a pitcher until the 9th, yet have like a 2.0 ERA and 1.0 WHIP, I drafted Matt Moore, Anibal, Zimmermannnn, Ryu, Peavy, Lance Lynn, and life is good… wait, what? HALLADAY???!!! WTF DID YOU DO TO MY RATIOS?! NOOOO!!!

Here I was thinking I was some sort of genius because I benched him for his first 2 games and then started him for his last 3. So, what’s his deal? Homeschooler? Matchup play? Schmohawk that I should kick to the curb?

if i got him to throw in bj upton for stubbs would that make it worth my while??? mccutch would take juan franciscos spot in my lineup. my pitching is pretty solid. im not sure what to do. what do u guys think…….

Beware of Hammel though. His velocity is down 1.3 MPH, his flyball rate has jumped nearly 20 points, his first pitch strike rate is only 55%, and his swinging strike rate is worse than K artists Jake Westbrook, Mike Pelfrey, Ricky Nolasco, and Joe Saunders. The only pitcher with a worse swinging strike rate than Hammel is Vance Worley. In all of MLB.

@SteveNZ: I put Carter into my lineup today. I believe it was at the expense of Rizzo who had a stolen base tonight.

Hefner had a tough loss tonight. Sucks because I used him in an NL-only league that has L as a category. It also has 2B and CS. Ridiculous, but I was willing to put up with it because I wanted to try an NL-only league for first time since 2001.

@Grey: I just read up on it, said he got popped for being on meth, thought that was the case when he was on air.

I still really like Barry, would hang with that guy all day, he should get his own spinoff called “Life with Barry” where they just follow him around and all the crazy characters he knows. One night we weren’t paying attention to what was on and saw heard that voice on some Jessie James show, turns out he is JJ’s godfather

Oh, I see… You found it… yeah, I didn’t read about it… Just saw the headline… I’m sure Barry’s got some crazy stories to tell… Crazy how boring his real life was for so long… I think he sold produce or something mundane…

There are 2 definitions for Radar:
1. a device for determining the presence and location of an object by measuring the time for the echo of a radio wave to return from it and the direction from which it returns.
2. a means or sense of awareness or perception: lobbyists working under the media’s radar.

@Jack Full of Hate: i know man… And im not trying to jew you (can i say that here?) I just have a hard time making a deal with the guy in first when felix would be your cherry on top ya know? I feel like im setting you up to beat me by myself, thats why i want the slight advantage in our trade. Nothing personal my ninja!

@SteveNZ: got a brainstorm brewing, have a BEER O NATOR where you input your SP’s or your lineup then it tells you what the perfect pairing and quantity should be, to keep it simple it will recommend types of beer ie Lager, Stout, Belgian, Domestic and then how many to have.

example: I have Halladay, Lincecum and CC on the hill – BON: 6 IPA’s and a tall can of Malt

@Prezii: would be tough because you would always get wasted, but from what I gather you always get wasted anyways, and with the way Roy pitched tonight I recommend 6 Rob Roy’s, because roy is robbing your team of ERA

Has anyone watched any of Brandon McCarthy’s starts? I have him in a 14 team league and am considering dropping him for Correia. His peripherals seem pretty consistent with his past so it seems he is getting unlucky, but everything but his fastball seems to be getting clobbered. Psychological issues or just bad luck?

@Jack Full of Hate: I prayed to James Brown and then realized you meant something else…Anyhow, Brown says that McCarthy’s waking up in a cold sweat, but he’ll get on the good foot…still waiting to see how Gilpin feels about it, though

Is Jose Fernandez actually droppable in H2H keeper league where categories include K, K/9, QS…

Who the eff is David Phelps? Read all your stuff and I don’t think I’ve heard you mention him before. He starts vs the Asstros tomorrow and looks like he Has K potential. Or is this just More New York Hype?

I wonder what AVG Dunn will have to drop below to mean he can be dropped below Paulie.

Seriously .148 right now. What team has a cleanup hitter hitting .148!? From a frustrated Konkerko and Rios owner…Dunn stop killing the ralllies!

I think the only reason they even still play that big fat piece of crap because of the contract. Loved my deal I got last year in my keeper when I traded him after his early hot spell and May for Altuve and Castellanos. Result!

So Grey, are you buying anything on Dempster yet like JB is? It looks like he hasn’t really made any changes aside from more splitter usage. Is a +10 K rate sustainable? Would you change his rankings if you drafted today (significantly)?