Have you ever heard that old saying that some days you're the dog and other days you're the hydrant or the tree? Well, this week has been one of those days where that's been true. All week. But it's getting better.

However, Monday (cliche, I know, but it really was a Monday when this happened) I was having a fairly non-terrible day, which at my current job is the best one can hope for these days, when I had an epiphany. It came to me when I sat down to tinkle...and sat in someone else's tinkle. Or maybe it was the water from the last flush that splashed up; I can't be sure. In any case, my first thought after the typical "EEEEEK!" was, "Wow, I bet women sit down in at least a quarter of pee that's not theirs in their lifetime," because that's about half as much as I estimate I've gotten the indescribable pleasure of sitting in so far in my years on earth, and I'm hoping for twice my age in longevity.

I know it's gross to discuss, but I can't be the only one frustrated by this. And it's not at home where DH forgets to raise the lid. No. This is in public restrooms, and this is after I've scrutinized the seats with an almost unhealthy interest before I plop down. In my younger years, I'd just be in a hurry to complete my task and not pay attention to the seat. Now I look, but you know what? I think bathroom designers are anti-female, or at least anti-anyone who has to sit down to pee. Why? Because they use black toilet seats and make sure there's only mood lighting in the stall so that the only way to perceive a droplet of any kind of liquid on the seat is to squat at an angle and peer sideways across the top of the seat. I know this because I did it without thinking trying to figure out if it was safe to sit. That time it was. Other times, I'm not so lucky.

Sure, there are white toilet seats in well-lit stalls, but those are inevitably clogged or out of order or occupied. So I'm stuck with the stall where if you're not carrying your own personal toilet covers, you're risking getting something on your skin that came from the inside of another person. Chilling.

The irony is most of the liquid comes from women who stand up to pee because they're afraid to sit down because they might sit in...PEE! Apparently, they feel their urine is sacred juice and will not pass the icky-wickies to someone else if a wayward droplet misses the toilet, or they're sadists who are grinning ear-to-ear thinking about the wacko who will soon be bent over scrutinizing the black toilet seat in the dimly lit stall and will end up sitting in their pee anyway.
Some people are just weird that way.

I hope everyone is having a great January-soon-to-be-February, and that your pleasure reading hours are many. Have a wonderful day, and stay dry!