Après-Eats: Stove Top Popcorn

May 4, 2016

Well, let’s just say I have failed miserably at my “weekly” food posts for after ski fun. I currently have just one recipe up. If you don’t know about my actual cooking skills, you’ll find out later in this post and totally understand why I am not cooking all the time. It’s dangerous. And I know what you’re thinking – popcorn? But literally you need to know how to do this. Someone told me they’ve never eaten it this way and I almost fainted. I don’t eat bagged popcorn anymore, in fact, I don’t even have a microwave! This bowl of white gold is for those oh-so-exhausting days when you get in after dark, icicles on your beard or in your nose hairs and you just sit in your thermals watching Netflix, falling asleep on the couch by 9:00 pm. Or any other day for that matter, you’ll probably still fall asleep at 9 watching Netflix, anyway.

The Basics
Get a medium to large pot that has a lid. Pour enough oil to fully layer the bottom, and turn your burner on. 6.5 on the dial will do fine, medium-high. Do not turn this on high, I repeat, do NOT turn this on high. I have forgotten about making this and walked into the kitchen and lifted up the lid to a pot of flaming oil. I like to test the heat and put one kernel in. The oil should just cover the kernel, just – a little less is fine. Cover with lid, and don’t go far. In a minute or two, that kernel will pop – you’ll hear it hit the lid. The oil is ready. Layer the bottom of the pot finely with kernels and cover immediately. When I say finely, do not double layer the kernels! 10 popcorn kernels doesn’t seem like much, but omg I have set you up for panic, as you put a lot of kernels in because “finely” didn’t seem like enough, and there’s WAY too much popping and it’s overflowing the pot like at the movie theater. You’ll get used to how much you need per the size of the pot you use. Once the popping mess has slowed down, pour popcorn in to the large bowl.

It’s delicious without adding anything, hot out of the pot. Salt makes it heavenly. Add butter and you’re going to need wet-naps.

Get Funky
Garlic salt, anyone? Cheddar cheese powder? Go ahead and get funky, try what you like. You literally can’t mess this up.

Give It as a GiftI know people who have gone this far. Lay your popped corn out on wax paper and spruce this ish up with melted chocolate and peanut butter chips, or crushed candy canes and white chocolate, or oreos, caramel or any other absolutely wonderful thing you can melt (or sprinkle on to melted confections) and let harden into chunks on the popcorn. People literally pay $20+ for this in the city. You will make all your friends fatter for the holidays. And yourself. Done and done.