Obsessive-Compulsive
PersonalityDisorder is a very
common and often hidden problem. It may even be linked with domestic
violence where sufferers find they cannot get their own way.

Up to 3% (and possible
as many as 10%) of the general population are thought to suffer from
this possibly genetic disorder although they may not be aware they do
despite feeling something is wrong in their lives. On the whole,
though, they believe the problem lies with other people. This does
not mean they are incapable of self-diagnosis, however rare this may
be.

OCPD appears to run in
families, which is why it is often friends, partners or work
colleagues who first spot something is amiss.

People who suffer from
it are not aware, until it is pointed out to them, that they have it,
whereas those who have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder are well aware
all is not well.

If you want to read
more about OCPD, click on the links below orhere.
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Those who have to live
with an OCPD sufferer, called here by Dr Daniel a 'Tightrope Walker',
might be relieved to see that they are not alone in their dilemma:
What to do about and how to survive living with someone who might be
lovable, fun, a bit of a maverick, yet is clearly not at ease in her
or his world unless other people do what he or she wants. A nice
enough person, but very hard indeed to cope with, thanks to their
behaviour (see below and on the cover here).

Tightrope Walkers are
often described as cold and remote and 'perfectionist'. Not
necessarily. They can be sloppy about all kinds of things and quite
fiery. The problem with the professional diagnostic criteria and some
of the descriptions offered by these practitioners, thorough and good
scientists though they surely are, is that these people may never
have seen a Tightrope Walker on home ground at close quarters –
in the house or car or at work.

The message boards on
the Internet give a quite different picture in certain key areas to
do with the way Tightrope Walkers present themselves to those closest
to them, when they are not on their 'best behaviour'. When I first,
as a professional myself, read the diagnostic checklist, I did not
recognise the people I now know suffer from OCPD. Left out were anger
and violence, attentiveness to loved ones, the regular lapses into
depression, and the sheer wackiness of some of the crazy rules they
invent. Left out too was the terrible strain on a family of keeping
up with obsessive tidiness and giving enough attention to nitpicking
detail around the house and garden or on money questions.

Tightrope Walkers can
be fiery, passionate, tender and caring, great lovers even, but
always with that sense of being out of reach emotionally. They don't
open up easily, and they can become incandescently angry if they
don't get their way.

The things to look out
for, among many other characteristics, are these: