It took 20 hours to get Kate's hair to a socially acceptable state. LiLo gets kicked off a private jet and a commercial airplane. Gary Coleman has a seizure. Political relevance infiltrates Page Six, and it's not okay: Thursday gossip.

After 20 grueling hours of having imported hair glued to her head, Kate Gosselin has a new hairdo to celebrate the new year, and she looks—dare I say it?—nice. Of course, extensions on hair as short as hers was can get pretty disastrous with wear. [fig.1] But I have high hopes for Kate 2010, though, in part because the prettier she becomes the stabbier her enemies get. Check out this actual quote from Jon Gosselin ex Hailey Glassman: "I like it! ... She's like a fine wine. Better over time. Did I mention how great her body looks? I wonder who her surgeon is?" [PeopleStyle] [HuffPo]

Yesterday, Tila Tequila said she was meeting deceased fiancée Casey Johnson's family, but a family rep it was a lie. Casey's sisters Jaime and Daisy are in town collecting her remains and the dogs Nicky Hilton rescued, but they won't be meeting with Tila. "Casey's family and friends would rather deal with the Devil." What's more, the LAPD didn't actually question Tila and she wasn't invited to Nicky Hilton's memorial. Lonesome Tequila. [NYDN]

Lindsay Lohan is having an NYE hangover: After a week of roaming St. Barts in her bikini, rubbing shoulders with Gaddafi's shithead son, LiLo was ready to come home—but then she accused the guy who owns the private jet that was supposed to take her, one Patrick "Pootie" Aufdenkamp, of stealing her fashion designs and it was too awkward to fly home in his private jet. So she decided to fly commercial, only to miss a connection in Charlotte and end up roadtripping back in a Hertz rental car. The twitpics from the trip down [fig.2] were way better than the way back [fig.3] Such is the life of the filthy-wealth-dependent starlet. [HuffPo]

Gary Coleman was hospitalized after an apparent seizure yesterday. It coincides with his fight to stop the unauthorized use of a movie scene showing his penis, which is too bad, because writers have to contextualize their seizure stories with something, so everyone knows about your penis, now, Gary. [NYDN] l

Most unapologetically Tiger gravy-training mistress: Loredana "Jolie," the Playboy model-turned-hooker who is entering the golf circuit and has a Tiger sex tell-all "ready to publish" (does that mean she was working on it before the scandal, or that she wrote it in one month?). Mistress #10 is altruistic: She would like to use some of the money and press she siphons off this scandal "to promote healthy living by opening a transitioning home for women who wish to escape or have already escaped the sex industry." [P6]

George Stephanopoulos needed a special high chair for GMA so he wouldn't look like a midget sitting next to Robin Roberts. He was surprisingly ego-free joking to Rob Shuter, "I would have been happy with phone books, but I'm glad they found a solution." [NBN]

Every time there's a pro-athlete sex scandal, women who sleep exclusively with athletes come out of the woodwork. Gloria Allred's latest charge is no exception: Alleged Shaquille O'Neal stalking victim Vanessa Lopez had run-ins with the Denver Nuggets' Kenyon Martin and Cleveland Cavaliers' Delonte West. Here's my question: Do these women always stick to just one sport, or are they allowed to switch, in the manner of Michael Jordan's baseball career? And is it their favorite sport, or the one with players for whom they are most romantically suited? Because maybe you really like basketball, but are petite and prefer to date horse jockeys. [TMZ]

What is politics doing on my Page Six? Richard Johnson says Valerie Jarrett is going to replace Rahm Emanuel as White House Chief of Staff, because Obama wants the only White House official with a worse one-year track record than Rahm to take over? Nevermind, I can't even evaluate this, the context is too weird. Out, out, damn relevance! It's too early for anything that isn't superficial, sordid, or both. [P6]