With love

If you came to The Sticky Egg looking for a creative recipe for your weekend brunch menu, my apologizes.

We don’t do that kinda cookin’ here.

But if you are preparing to compete in Chopped on Food Network, I can help.

Previously an infrequent viewer, I recently sat through a Chopped marathon –ah, inertia — and have discovered the secrets to winning the Chopped championship and coveted $10,000 prize.

Stories: The chef who puts his heart on his white sleeve usually wins. His chatter to camera is filled with phrases like “love in my food,” “cooking with soul,” and “passion for food.” The judges are also swayed by personal accounts of the chef’s family and/or upbringing. Bring photos. Obviously, you gotta cook well, but if the competition is close — stories can turn the tide.

Seasonings — Be sure to use them. A chef who doesn’t salt or pepper his dishes well is dismissed as an amateur.

Sense — Show some. If you only have 20 minutes to make an appetizer, don’t attempt to complete a dish that typically requires two hours. Undercooked food really turns off the judges…and makes you look like a goober.

Of course, ignoring all these rules makes for more entertaining television, so you can forget I said anything, too.