Tag Archives: facebook

I don’t know about you guys, but the last month has been non-stop back to school photos on my Facebook and Instagram timelines. I actually got to be a part of it this year, because my sweet baby boy started preschool!

We had loads of fun shopping at Target for his school supplies. He felt like a ‘big kid’ picking out a backpack after he saw an older kid looking at them, too. “Mommy! I’m going to school like that kid!”

Ugh, slow down a bit. I can handle preschool, but I’m not ready to think about elementary school yet.

Check out my recent YouTube video for a look at what we picked out. Also, my hair is wild in this one.

How did your first day back go? Tell me all about it in the comments! Don’t forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel. I have lots of fun product reviews and a giveaway coming up soon!

Ok friends…Let’s consider this an intervention of sorts. I see y’all (mostly ladies, but some dudes) posting these ridiculous sayings and usually incorrectly attributed quotes that are typed over pretty pictures in equally pretty fonts…And I just don’t get it.

Some of them are pretty funny… But a lot of them just make the sharer look a bit like an asshole. Here, have some examples:

First things first… Sorry to burst your bubble but it’s highly likely that she didn’t even say this. Okay?

Now. I’m guessing you’re probably expecting a bunch of, “Amen!” and, “Hell yeah, sista friend!” comments…and you’ll probably get them… From all of the other spoiled, whiny, entitled people you know. Pro tip: tantrums stop being excusable around the age of…four, maybe?

…or maybe he’s just sick of your shit. If you’re posting this, I’m going to assume that you’ve probably got a handful of failed relationships under your belt. Take a second to consider the common denominator… There’s a huge difference between being strong and being an unbearable bitch.

Nope, sorry. A truly successful woman is too busy being…you know…successful to worry about what people say or think about her. And if a lot of people are “throwing bricks” at you, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate your behavior.

This one is spot on. All of what I’ve said is my opinion (except the bit about the Marilyn quote being wrong)… So feel free to go on merrily hitting the share button and yelling, “UH HUH, THAT’S RIGHT!” whenever you see some pretty font on a nice background. Just know that you might not be sending the message you intend to.

Oh, come on…this one is just funny.

Share this:

Like this:

This article from The Guardian popped up on my Facebook newsfeed today, courtesy of STFU Parents. At first, I read the title wrong and thought they were talking about what happens when you roll the dice on a particularly questionable fart. “There are pros to sharting?! News to me!” So of course I had to read the article.

You might think I was disappointed by the actual content of the article (Oh… not sharting…sharenting) but I was actually excited. Finally, someone with some sense!

This whole oversharing thing has always bothered me, but I m particularly bothered by people that share every single aspect of their kid’s life. It’s not just annoying, it’s potentially dangerous.

I actually wasn’t planning to post this weekend because I have some big stuff going on… but I really wanted to share this article.

If you’re one of the people speculating about why I chose not to post any pictures of my baby online (or why I never use his name when I do talk about him), here you go. Now you can stop asking people that are close to me if something is wrong with my child. For God’s sake, he isn’t deformed (someone actually asked a friend that question)…It just turns out that I have some damned common sense.

I hope (though I doubt it’ll happen) this might also eliminate my need to CONSTANTLY ask people not to post his picture on Facebook.

Enjoy your weekend everyone! I’ll be taking a short break to take care of a pretty big project but I’ll be back early next week.

Wait…Did you guys think that having a baby would make me all rainbows and sunshine? Because nope! I’m still the same grumpy, 80 year old man trapped in the body of a 31 year old woman. You’re welcome.

ANYWAY.

This morning, this picture was all over my newsfeed:

SERIOUSLY?!

Well I didn’t repost it, so I am obviously FOR child abuse. And I don’t have a heart.

I guess I love cancer?

You know what else? I don’t share the “Like and share in three seconds if you love Jesus, ignore if you love the Devil” pictures. Clearly I am a bad person that is going to Hell.

I must have missed Vacation Bible School the day we learned that Jesus saves only the people that like Him on Facebook.

Wait, did I hit the wrong tab on my browser? Am I looking at Pinterest? Um, no…I’m definitely on Facebook. Why is everyone “sharing” (honestly, I think the unnecessary quotes are really the major annoyance with this particular post…) this crap? OH, so you don’t have to search so hard for the recipe when you’re ready to make it. That’s kind of what Pinterest is for…

Um…What? Did the CEO of NBC just use the American flag as toilet paper on air or something? Why is this specifically for NBC? I GUESS I’M NOT AN AMERICAN SINCE I DIDN’T REPOST!

…

Remember when Facebook was new-ish and not everyone was allowed to join?

Like this:

If you’re having a baby, I’d like to say congratulations! As long as you’re of reasonably sound mind I’m happy for you. If you’re the type that lacks common sense and can’t even spell the word baby… well that makes me want to weep for humanity…

Let’s move on. Shall we?

So women have babies every day… but there are some ladies that seem to think their pregnancies are way more special and exciting than everyone else’s. If you’re one of these women, you should probably know that people find your special little snowflake behavior to be rather annoying. Want me to be more specific? Ok!

– Don’t sign up for that Facebook app that automatically posts how far along you are each week. I’m not retarded. If you were 20 weeks last Friday I’m pretty sure you’d be 21 weeks this Friday. Plus, I don’t care.

– Stop with the belly photos. I mean, one or two are fine, but two or three A DAY?

Oh, and if you’re sucking in while taking that belly photo you might want to consider the fact that people can tell.

-Don’t make your ultrasound your profile pic. That’s just weird.

– Some women look cute pregnant, others swell up like a beached whale. If you belong to the first category stop trying to make other pregnant women feel bad about themselves by bragging. If you are in the second category, please don’t wear tights as pants and quit trying to make people believe your doctor says you’re tiny.

– The phrase “so blessed”. Just quit with that, ok? Be a little more honest next time and say “I’m an attention whore and I want everyone to be jealous of me” and be done with it.

– If you want to share pictures of your baby shower, fine. There’s nothing more tacky, however, than posting pictures of the gifts you receive. Especially if you caption the picture “Check out all this loot!”
Along the same lines… If someone was kind enough to give you a gift, I also think it’s super tacky to publicly thank them on Facebook. Send a private message, text, or call them.

– Please stop sharing every single aspect of pregnancy. Do a bunch of people you barely know need to see that you’ve lost your mucus plug? Nope.

– “We’re headed to the hospital!” Um, ok… so now everyone on your friends list knows that you’ll be gone for at least 2-3 days. Anyone that clicks the like button just shared that info with everyone on their friends list… Do you see what I’m getting at here? Don’t blame me if your house gets robbed and you lose all of that cool loot you plastered all over Facebook.

– “I’m at 8 cm… Gonna start pushing soon!” GROSS. I have a very vivid imagination so now I have a mental image of you trying to grunt a baby out. I don’t care if you’re my best friend, I do not want that in my head.

– Wait until everyone is all cleaned up to post that first photo. I mean, go ahead and take a picture of your baby while it’s still covered in your insides but don’t share it. Yuck.

Readers, if I’ve forgotten something that really irks you please let me know. If you think you may be an oversharer, there’s still time to get help. Admitting you have a problem is the first step.

Please share this with your friends. Together maybe we can end pregnancy oversharing.