Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

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• A team once named the Bullets continues to wipe away every trace of a player whose primary offense was being improperly lighthearted about guns. And, meanwhile, Antawn Jamison addressed the Verizon Center crowd before last night's game against Orlando and vowed that the team would do everything "to make this one of the most respectable organizations in the league." The organization will likely begin this process by using an overblown public relations crisis to void a bad contract. Classy.

• The Togo national soccer team's bus, en route to the African Cup of Nations tournament, was strafed by gunmen in Angola. The driver was killed, and at least two players were injured. "We were machine-gunned like dogs and had to remain hidden under our seats for around 20 minutes to avoid the bullets," midfielder Thomas Dossevi told reporters. "I'm OK but several players are in a bad state."

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• From the Boston Globe: "At the heart of the brouhaha was a feuding 31-member board that controls virtually everything the league does, from ordering uniforms to setting schedules — and, most controversially recently, enforcing a system that allowed major league managers to hold some players on minor league teams." This, as you might guess, is a story about Little League baseball.

• This is the epitome of a New York Times headline: "With his outrageous tweets and outlandish antics, the Bengals' Chad Ochocinco wants to have fun. Is that good for the N.F.L.?"