General Information

After breaking from the pack I headed through Alliston…80 k zone - pick up truck 30 feet in front, car 40 feet behind all doing the limit…OPP sitting facing the road like a pedophile at a school yard…

After about 6 minutes, I look in the mirror and see Johnny Law cut in front of the car behind me…the lights go on, over I go.

For ten minutes (checked my phone for the time since they’ve only got 30 min. to detain) I stood there watching him sit in his cage with the cherry’s on soaking up the glory from passing cars for pulling over a hardened public menace on a motorcycle…

He finally came out to play (the AC must have shut off in his still idling car) and walked over wearing the brightest smile I’ve ever seen – this guy had the teeth of Eric Estrada !!!...really pleasant fellow.

He asks where I’ve been / where I’m going…I ask what the problem is…

He tells me that I “Looked too comfortable”…and he “needed to be sure that I was in proper control of my vehicle”.

I ask what could have prompted this, since the laws was obeyed – speed, spacing, riding in a straight line, low rpm gear and so on. Apparently, one needs to look paranoid, fearful and as if on Lithium when you see an officer of the law.

He launched into a stream of psychobabble about not being an MTO guy but simply looking out for pedestrian and vehicular safety…here’s the thing…

…I have already paid a portion of this boyos inflated salary and have spent the week-end supporting our economy…I am hot, thirsty, hungry, dirty and just want my shower, sofa and remote…all of which I pay further taxes on, and all of which are housed under a roof for which further multitudes of taxes have been paid…not in the mood for this at the best of times – especially today. (My shirt was soaked in beer and I’m wearing the same pants from my failed attempt at the tire pull race – filthy…priceless). “So let’s gets this right, you pulled me over for looking too comfortable?...right?”…

No answer - he gathered up my license, insurance, ownership and headed back to our tax dollars AC cage…three smokes and a game of Word Mole on my phone later, he returns…

“What’s Phantom Thunder”? he asks…now he’s a cop, an MTO officer and a journalist from the fucking Enquirer.

I ask him if we are done or if he has “any other concerns for public or vehicular safety”…he says “Motorcycle Enthusiasts”?…

Showing him my not so perfect Eric Estrada smile I replied – “Absolutely”…

Very tempted to spray up a bit of shoulder gravel while pulling back into the steady stream of goose necking / tribute paying, ego boosting motorists that had topped up his machismo…but better to just look over my shoulder, shake my head and laugh visibly …took a little of his ego with me.