Things I learned from illegal activity by Deb Eileen

I like to tell myself that I didn’t commit any crimes, that the things I did fell more into the area of “pranks.” Who doesn’t like a good prank after all?

Prankster sounds so much better than say- delinquent. Examples of some escapades include:

– If you pour baby powder at the base of someone’s closed door, and then blow it under the door with a hair dryer it will coat everything in the room in a fine dusting. This is very funny if it isn’t your room.

– I’ve been known to dress other school’s mascots in various ladies undergarments. This is very funny to college students- although copious amounts of beer make it even funnier.

-We once decorated a friend’s car to be an exact replica of the Partridge Family Van complete with song lyrics.

In high school I learned a very valuable lesson from illegal activity, I mean a prank. A friend told a group of us that the secret to most things in life is to act like you know what you are doing. If you act like you know what you are doing, people pretty much leave you alone. To prove this point he walked into a large department store in our local mall. He undressed a mannequin and then marched back out the front door with it under his arm. No one said a thing.

We all then followed suit- walking in, stripping a mannequin, and marching out. No one stopped us or asked what we were doing. We then had a small conversational grouping of mannequins, so we took them behind the mall, posed them at the back door like naked, sexless zombies. We then called the store and ran away.

Many time since then I’ve bluffed my way through situations by acting confident. Fake it till you make it. Too often we let fear stop us from reaching for what we want. We imagine others will stop us or get in the way. My advice is to go for it. Who knows what you’ll end up with?

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This article has 22 Comments

Fake it till you make it is some of the best advice my husband and I were ever given. Though our mentor used different words LOL,,,,it was something to the effect of……act confident even if you don’t feel it and the confidence will follow. It works too!

When my husband was in the Reserves (back in the day) he was told to (1)always look sharp (2) always carry a piece of paper with you (3) always walk quickly. He said he did that and did very little “army stuff” in his short stint. Only what he wanted to do!!

I’d heard the same thing when I was in high school. I NEVER had a hall pass… just acted like I knew what I was doing. 🙂 It worked.

Loved the mannequin story… and, for future reference (at say… a writers con or something)… shaving cream in a paper cup, the open ends smooshed down. Slip the open end under the door and then stomp away! Not that I’VE ever done such a thing 😉

Oh, Eileen! Wait until your dad sees this. I am so in like flynn on the inheritance now. To Eileen’s Dad: I am a rule follower. Even here in Tennessee where the laws are just guidelines, I’m the one following them. I’m going to make a perfect Canadian (and additional daughter).

I (of course)would never be accused of being a delinquent or prankster. I have been accused of being the Instigator, always. This lofty position comes up with the amazing ideas that are acted upon and that provide people with “stories” to tell for the rest of their lives. The requirement of any good Instigator is having a ready supply of friends that are the Pranksters. In my case, I can add family members as well.

However, what I learned from my behavior is that I have received payback for all of the incidents that I may (I’m not telling)or may not have initiated. I was a college RA to help put me through school. After having the opportunity to “see it all” I have had the opportunity to help clean it up.

You crazy girl. Wish you’d given us a picture of those mannequins in compromising positions. This is the stuff of documentaries. I’m glad your dad hasn’t seen this post! You’d have a lot of shplaining to do.

If you want in on the inheritance (you’ll have to get past his “adopted” grandson first, by the way, and he’s pretty cute), you might want to stay a US passport-holding, America-living, American. E’s dad is a red-blooded, meat-eating, no thank you on the socialized medicine believing American, living in America. And I’m pretty sure that’s the way he thinks it’s supposed to be.

Maia – I have seen it as I read ALL of her posts slthough I may not comment on them. She didn’t mention that she worked at a mall store and the store manager probaly told her to clean out the store. She has a tendency in her blogs to exaggerate some of ehr history – A Writer’s perogative. With my daughter being raised in a consevative and yet somehow becoming a liberal, she always is doing a lot of “shplaining” to her parents anyway.
Joelle – “Even here in Tennessee where the laws are just guidelines, I’m the one following them.” Does this refer to your following the guidleines or the laws? I am also puzzeled that you said you live in Tennessee, The Volunteer State, and will make a perfect Canadian. Eileen was raised in her formative years in Indiana and her parents continue to live there. I would think you would be more apt to want to be a good American. Not that there is anything wrong with being a Canadian as that country has a long and noble history that their citizens should be very proud of. You’re still in the will though. (Keep in mind that “0” has no value and so I may have omitted some 0’s in that estate total. Also I was only talking about the fixed income portion as the equity portion keeps fluctuating. ESPECIALLY THIS PAST WEEK!!!)
And her father is now relieved that she didn’t tell anyone about the felonies, if any, she may have committed. (Note, I say committed and not CAUGHT at by the authorities.)

Ahh…well, the truth is I do live in TN, but I am an Aspiring Canadian and I will be joining Eileen later this year as a permanent resident of Canada (we’re only going to stay with her and Bob for two or three weeks..months…tops…I’m sure we’ll find jobs and places to live eventually…they have a big house, right?). And yes, I follow the laws here in TN, but everyone else thinks of them as guidelines. I’m learning though. To Jamie: Ahhh…if you’re describing E’s dad correctly then I’ll be kicked out of the will for sure. I’m one of those vegetarian pinko liberals myself who can hardly wait to run to the Canadian doctor with the first sign of a scratchy throat or a sneeze.

Eileen’s Very Proud Dad – I’m willing to relocate if I can take Eileen’s place in the will. I can guarantee I have not disrobed or abducted a single mannequin on either side of the border and I rarely go to the doctor even though it’s free.

I’m like Maureen, I’d have come up with the idea but allowed my friends to take care of the dirty work for me! Too funny, Eileen 😀 And if you do that powder thing to me we’re going to have a serious talk: you, me, and your dad. We’ll get you straightened out yet…

Joelle – You’re a liberal so you’re out. Remember that is what got Eileen kicked out. She is NOT going to give my money to Hillary and the rest of the liberal world to spend. Tish – You’re In. Stay in Canada and it is such a beatiful country to visit. You’ll take Joelle’s place. Jamie — Don’t worry, Ian is and will always be in (Unless he turns liberal!).

Love the mannequin story. Wonder if the same act-like-you-know-what-you’re-doing-and-no-one-will-question you philosophy would apply to calmly wandering into bookstores and moving things around so that your book is strategically placed in the most prime position?

Anna: Yes, it does work in bookstore too. In fact, I did it just yesterday for Mia’s book at my local bookstore. They was only shelved spine out, so I pushed a few things around and moved them into a face forward position on the shelf. I did such a fine acting job that someone asked me to help them find a book in another part of the store, which I did. (Thankfully it was for a book in the classical section, which is almost my second home these days.)

Jamie, thank you for doing some creative rearranging on my behalf! You won’t get any complaints from me there. And as for you, Eileen, you have more guts than me – I cannot fathom walking into a store and pulling that off! I look guilty even when I haven’t done anything, so there’s no way I’d make it out alive. You have my undying admiration.