Alec Baldwin married 28-year-old yoga instructor Hilaria Thompson in a New York City church today, and nothing was wrong unless you count the presence of Woody Allen and Soon-Yi Previn. Here's hoping Baldwin's new wife will lead him in a few sun salutations every morning to stop him from buying a one-way ticket to The Mel Gibson Old Man Ranting Express. Ireland Baldwin, Tina Fey, Jimmy Fallon, Lorne Michaels, Mariska Hargitay, Allen and Previn, the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future, and obviously Billy and Steven Baldwin.

Mel C. had to defend Victoria Beckham, both formerly from '90s hit British girl group The Spice Racks or whats-its-face from people who claimed she looked sullen and unhappy in photographs. Obviously they don't know Easy V doesn't come for free, she's a real lady. [NYDN]

Ann Curry spent her last broadcast unable to look at Matt Lauer. That makes two of us. [Us Weekly

Chris Brown has actually penned the Ballad Of The Great Bottle Fight Of 2012 that I have been making jokes in my Dirtbag about for weeks! It's actually a remix of a song called "I Don't Like," and hurtful things are said about Drake ("Them eyebrows, man, them shits is yikes") [Rolling Stone]

Then he went and got a giant wolf tattooed on his neck. #themshitsisyikes [Bossip]

Rihanna showed up to a gig in Sweden drunk and sad because her grandma had just died. Is it me, or is this Dirtbag uncommonly depressing? [Daily Mail]