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The Hot Blogger Bracket: A Specter Rising

Do you know how hard we have been working on this bracket? Do you know all the sacrifices we’ve all made to get this done as fast as we can?

Texas Gal has cut down to one bottle of Makers Mark a day. SA has had to stop posting on SCRUBSR’FOREVER.ORG. Metschick is only listening to WFAN 15 hours a day instead of her normal 19. Clare is has switched from calling Aaron Rowand “Bacon Pants” to “Bac-o-bits”. Andie only has time for 24 boyfriends. Holly can only email/txt/call/Facebook/MySpace her friends on odd hours. GordonShumway can only answer half of her Red Sox fans letters. I gave my boyfriend $300 to go to Crazy Girls so I can get some peace and snuggle up with my old copy of “HTML for Dummies”.

But look at what we had to contend with. Bust out your slide rules and let’s take a look at the Hot Blogger Bracket by the numbers…

1 Picture from a blogger who declined to enter but wanted us to have it anyway

1 Person declining to enter, but suggesting we could browse his MySpace page if we get lonely

2 Recordings of voice samples from contestants

And a moderately alarming outpouring of affection for Jamie Mottram, Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Bracket:

“I wish I wasn’t lying, but I actually thought of this the other day. Only while flipping through my Jamie Mottram calendar. June is the best month……let’s just say jetski and ascot!”

“Would a small donation to Ladies… be enough to keep me out of Mottram’s bracket?”

“I have a man crush on Mottram like everyone else. But I actually work at the same company as him so I can go gaze at him dreamily every day if I so choose.”

“Mottram has been on TV multiple times. I have been in a small-town newspaper once, and they did not include my picture. Advantage: Mottram. There’s plenty of reasons for our healthy respect (and sneaky attempts to throw him under the bus once the competition is underway.”

Well, we finished the brackets and the seeding this week at the mini-Ladies summit. (Have you ever tried to do math after several cocktails in the middle of Barney’s Beanery? At 1 am? Don’t get too mad at us when this looks crazy!) Now’s the hard part – building the posts. Since WordPress is a fucking bitch of a whore who hates polls, we have to host this monster bracket somewhere else, which is taking some time to create.

So we apologize that this is taking so long, but we really, really want to give this our best possible effort.

i think the ladies have found a credit card company that accepts pictures and writing samples in exchange for a .50% interest rate.. this is confirmed by the emails i’ve been receiving about the money i owe for mini ponies and bacon pants.

My name is Matt. I do not want to be considered for this meat market. I was only trying to find the latest recap/analysis of the current The Shield episode, which for no good reason is not on tvlinks. F the UK. that is all. BTW, keep up the good work. I heart you all, Ladies…

Ladies, I’ve always liked polka-dot dresses/blouses; how did you know? :-)
And not to put any pressure on you…appreciate the hard work…but…well, you know, this picture unfortunately still applies, as the contest hasn’t started yet…

well at no point do I see my self getting licked or compared to ugly people. So I’m gonna go ahead and chalk this up to a win in my book. Aside from the one dude with the heart post it. I’m feeling pretty good…. But that could be the soco and lime talking.

I can only hope that I was a reference to one of the three dudes with hot chicks in his picture, otherwise my posse of former UCF women’s volleyball players are going to bump, set and spike my ass into the next zip code.

It’s like waiting for a car wreck you know is going to happen. I feel wrong for my eager anticipation of the carnage. Really wrong. (Not that you Ladies…will be the cause of the carnage, it will be the Three Stooges like attempt by many of the contestants to shamelessly promote their cause.)

I just wanted to say that I’m a nerd, and I’m here tonight to stand up for the rights of other nerds. I mean uh, all our lives we’ve been laughed at and made to feel inferior. And tonight, those bastards, they trashed our house. Why? Cause we’re smart? Cause we look different? Well, we’re not. I’m a nerd, and uh, I’m pretty proud of it.

I didn’t know Ostertag was a Jayhawk until just now, Extra P. Montross wasn’t a looker either, but a better one would have been Serge Zwikker. Or better yet, Ralph Sampson (backhanded insult at your OTHER favorite school).

Actually, the worst thing anyone has ever seen was the epic battles between Ostertag (sans front teeth) and Big Country Reeves. They actually brought out the best in one another, but it was like watching Rodan battle Mothra.

And there was one sad evening when Greg got blood on his shirt and had to run into the tunnel to change (not that I would have wanted to strip off in front of Allen Fieldhouse, either).

I would just like to state for the record that I am terribly impressed with the hard work put in by the Ladies… on this bracket. I’ve also learned by coming to this site that eye black is extremely sexy. At least I thought it was because it did me absolutely no good at the bars Friday night.

I had no idea that I not only had to possibly face the likes of Ufford and Leitch, but now the “The Last Will and Testament of Orson Swindle,” which was easily one of the most brilliant pieces I’ve read lately on the ebays.

By the way, I got the immense pleasure of interviewing Leitch on my sports talk radio show on Friday. That man sounds like he has been on a three-day Red Bull and Amphetamines bender. He is a hyped up guy. But loved the interview. Maybe one day I will get one of the Ladies…on the show.

The great thing for me is that if I get knocked out, I can root for someone who contributes to my page. Or a News Team member. With so many talented dudes helping out in “the bad neighborhoods of the internets”, I can take unearned pride in more than one of them, most likely.

Oh, he was going 90 miles an hour. It was a good interview though. And, I was unaware of this, apparently there is some sort of reputation that bloggers have of living in their parents’ basement and having a strange pallor to their complexion. Anyone ever heard of this?

If high school taught me anything, it’s that sensitive guys that make the girls cry and give them hugs only get so far. One minute they’re hanging out with the girls at lunch, then the next they’re relegated to the friend box while the girls wait for the older guy that drives a hot rod and buys them beer. Sure, he’s probably not a good idea but it’s so exciting being with him….

I gotta ask about these mini-summits…do you ladies all live near enough to actually have in person? Do you do it via online chatting on the internets? Or do you all jet set across the country to discuss this stuff? ‘Cuz if you gals have money….heyyyyyyyy!