Sometimes, while browsing the net for news, I come accross things I just cannot not post. "Some enterprising Austrian Über-geeks [have created] a Telnet stream with, believe it or not, live ASCII footage of matches being played [at the World Cup Football]. Simply fire up a command prompt and type 'telnet ascii-wm.net 2006' and you'll find a live 'video' stream from 10 minutes before kick-off (or should that be boot-up?)." I also look forward to the Wimbledon version that resembles Pong.

Let me just quote John Cleese. "You should stop playing American "football." There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game.

The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football.

Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). "