The NYTimes Discovers Hipsters, Tries To Play Along

There are many, many things to be said about the Times' newest foray into the discussion of Brooklyn (or "Brooklyn-ism"), but we ought to let the Gray Lady speak for herself. But really, the value of this slightly dopey but still accurate portrayal of Brooklyn hipsterdom is all in the adjectives. We've rounded up all the descriptors in the article, which traces one Manhattanite's journey into the magical, uncharted, and utopian neighborhood of Williamsburg (isn't that in Virginia?). There, author Henry Alford sees wondrous sites and tries to become a "hipster" and adjust to the Brooklyn lifestyle, using some pretty select language to discuss it all. Hey, if he thinks the hipsters' neighborhoods are strange, just let him see one of their weddings.

"beard, plaid flannel shirt, vintage work boots"
"beehive of instrument-bearing"
"artisan-loving, kale-devouring"
"byword for cool"
"nanobatched chervil"
"full of flannel and cardigans and work boots"
"scruffy, ponytailed"
"'...a Mumford & Sons look. I want to look like I play the banjo.'”
"a big, lumpy wool cardigan that looked like a lamb had died on me"
"like an organic farmer who has learned that a friend has named her child Monsanto."
"snug-fitting corduroy"
"a wide-lapel vintage shirt"
"homespun and slightly raffish: a country-store clerk who has lost his spectacles in the barley."
"a veritable ocean of beard"
"cavernous"
"hirsute Mediterranean-looking"
"eucalyptus-scented towels and many delicate razor strokes"
"grizzled older gentleman"
"the shark of the bike world"
"increasingly hydrocephalic knees"
"totally ridic"
"tippy, thin-wheeled racing bikes"
"dandelion and burdock"
"'gathered in Brooklyn'"
"all-artisanal-mayonnaise"
"gulag in da hood"
"boho and Lena Dunham-accustomed"
"affable, heavily tattooed"
"the calm, bespectacled Molasses employee"
"in the classic pose of the noble martyr"
"in the manner of a watermelon seed pinched by two fingers."
"adventuresome quality vis-à-vis fixed-gear bike-riding"
"precious"
"self-respecting, obvi."and lastly
"eco-conscious, agrarian-seeming, hair-celebrating nexus of locavorism..." (NY Times)

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