Morning News - Three Dollar Gas?

Some folks are saying that gas prices, already averaging close to three bucks a gallon, may hit that number soon. Actually, some places are there already. The L.A. Times reports that “a Mobil station in Goleta, near Santa Barbara, was charging $3.69 a gallon and a Chevron in Shoshone, near Death Valley National Park, was posting $3.66.” Ouch. Granted, gas prices are lower than they were last year. But as this Weather Channel video points out, the summer is nearly upon us, and perhaps some families were planning to take vacations that involved driving rather than other more expensive options. (One thing for sure — we’ll all be bombarded by the term “stay-cation” for the next few months. Oh joy.) Some folks feel that if gas prices hit the big tres, that could drive (no pun intended) consumers towards hybrid cars. Of course, I found that little tidbit at HybridCars.com. I’m just sayin’. My take: people still need money to buy cars, no matter how green the car might be, or how much it will save you on gas. It’s like the line from the Broadway musical “Avenue Q”. A character decides to spend all of the money his parents gave him on a case a beer, because that way he’s “saving money by buying bulk.” It’s not a perfect parallel, but hopefully you see what I mean.

Moving on: protesters are still unhappy over in Iran. Elections are messy, but nothing like this could happen in the United States, right? Right? Oh! Wait a minute. I’m sorry. The Minnesota Senate race between Al Franken and Norm Coleman is still undecided. It’s been 225 days. Headline from the Minnesota Independent: “Coleman-Franken, meet Ahmadinejad-Moussavi.” Hmf.

Whoah. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said that he would consider a “two-state solution” with regard to the Palestinians. Why do I think it won’t be that simple? (Because I’m psychic. No I’m not.)

OK, Madonna? I think its great that you want to adopt kids. Really. Have at it. But $19 million to adopt Mercy James? That’s what the New York Post says the lady spent trying to adopt the Malawian orphan. Dang. That’s a lot of “Lucky Star” royalties. It’s also possible that she’ll have to spend even more money (No! Not the “Holiday” royalties too! What will we use for Rocco’s Bar Mitzvah?) since Mercy’s dad is going to fight the adoption. As Madonna herself might say, oy vey.

Sweet mother of Abraham Lincoln. Philandering self-righteous anti-semitic hypocrite Mel Gibson has co-written a song with Oksana Grigorieva, the woman he impregnated while still married to his wife. Why do I mock Mel? Because he’s a self-righteous anti-semite. Oh, and a philandering hypocrite. Did I mention that? The song, in case you were wondering, is called “Say My Name.” Oh, and the label releasing Grigorieva’s song? Icon Records. Which Mel owns. AHHH!!!!! (That’s me screaming.) People.com has the song for you to listen to. Gibson co-wrote the lyrics. I don’t think the words “I hate Jews” are in there, but I didn’t listen that closely. Maybe if you play it backwards. (If you’d rather not take the time to listen, FameCrawler sums it up thusly: “Mel Gibson’s Girlfriend: Her New Song Proves He Signed Her For Her Boobs”. ‘Nuff said. Or, to put it another way, Dayenu.)

Finally, let’s end with an item that isn’t Jewish or Israel-related. Dick Cheney said that he hopes his “old friend Leon was misquoted.” He was talking about Leon Panetta (not Leon Redbone, whose status as an old friend of Cheney’s we were unable to confirm or deny), who said that he thought it was “almost as if” Dick wanted the U.S. to be attacked to prove a point. (What’s Cheney going to do if Leon wasn’t misquoted, which he wasn’t? Meet him on the playground after school?) The Christian Science Monitor says this is all much ado about nothing, pointing out that even Joe Biden managed to say the right thing about this issue. They even say that the New Yorker article puts Panetta’s quote in context, showing that it really isn’t that bad. They blame “the media” for turning this into an issue, ignoring the fact that John McCain is calling for Panetta to apologize, while taking shots at the now head of the CIA. (“By the way, I hear morale is not at an all-time high over at the CIA under Mr. Panetta’s leadership” is what McCain said, according to Fox News.) Luckily everyone involved is behaving in a mature and sensible manner.

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