I saw my pdoc and tdoc today. I nearly missed my appointment because I was tired and went to bed at 9am and woke up at 10:45am when my appointment was at 11am. I called my pdoc's office to let them know I would be late. They said this was fine. After I arrived, I was told that I would need to wait 45 minutes since my pdoc was conducting an evaluation. When I saw my pdoc, I told him how well the Clonazepam was working and that I didn't rapid cycle for 9 days. He was very, very pleased to hear this and explained that although I was doing relatively well, I ran into some rapid cycling along the way which the Clonazepam could address. He said Clonazepam was the finishing touch as far as my meds were concerned which should help reduce my rapid cycling to once or twice a day. He was delighted to hear that I didn't even cycle once/day, but warned me to expect cycling at least once a day since Clonazepam won't completely eliminate my cycling. I also informed him that I've been depressed for the past 2 days, but also mentioned the fact that I think it was due to the weather since I couldn't pinpoint any other reason for feeling the way I did. Since I've been doing well on the Clonazepam and ende dup in a mixed episode while IP after my Fluoxetine was raised from 20mg to 40mg, he decided to keep my meds the same, but will adjust them accordingly if my depression worsens or continues. I was told the sun was shining today and temperatures are much warmer today, so that helped ease my depression. Before the end of our appointment, I gave him another hug and was told to return in 2-3 weeks.

My tdoc appointment went just as well. My tdoc was very pleased about the fact that I haven't rapid cycled in over a week and told me how much better I looked today even if I was depressed over the weekend. We discussed the normal things we do regarding my bipolar and PTSD. I informed him that I'd like to work on strategies to deal with my self harm, so we talked a little about that and agreed to discuss this more in depth at my next several appointments. My next appointment with my tdoc will be on Friday since he would like to immediately address my issues with self harm in case my depression returns.

All in all, it has been a very good day so far! My depression has finally lifted and I couldn't feel better today!

I'm glad you did so well, and glad you've escaped the 'hell hole" hopefully my pdoc appt tomorrow will go as well, but with the black eye and all, I doubt it. Plus we have some med tweaking to do, so don't really care one way or another whether I see him or not.

Had PT today after not doing it in a week, and am in lots of pain, supposed to do a 1/2 mile walk at 6:00 with my mother in law, I think I'm going to die by 6:30.

I can't wait until 7:00 when everyone will just leave me alone and I can take a hot bath and hide in my room.

Thanks, Kat! I hope your pdoc appointment goes well. I normally don't condone lying, but could you tell your pdoc that you accidentally ran into a wall since Lamictal can make people bump into things? At least that would help avoid the discussion of abuse, etc.

I know how you feel about PT. I was in PT for my severe CTS and every time I came home, I was always in so much pain. I still have several sessions I need to attend, but haven't gotten around to them because of how I've been feeling lately. Besides, I hate going to PT anyways because my therapist is always at least 15 minutes late despite the fact that I arrive to my appointments 30 minutes early. I also don't like PT because my appointments are always scheduled at
8am including Saturdays.

I'm glad you said that, because I thought about the same thing...I just don't know if I can handle the abuse questions again so shortly after the last time...I know I was stupid and put myself in a bad situation.

I love my physical therapist, I've been working with him for 7 months now, twice a week every week, except last week I skipped, still realing from the job loss and all. So I was pretty stiff today but still did the normal routine which I am maxed out on. He looks around for extra weight to give me, becasue the max is sometimes to easy for me. I only have 2 weeks left and I am done, until i have my right Knee surgery done, big #11! Sometimes I get so tired of operations...I wish I was normal, is that too much to ask. I have a screwed up body and a screwed up mind....can't the greater power give me a break somewhere????

I really feel for you given everything you've dealt with as far as your knees are concerned. I know it can't be easy and don't blame you at all for being frustrated. If anyone deserves a break, it's you. ((((((Kat))))))

I feel the same way when it comes to my migraines -- although ever since I started taking Depakote for my BP, they have decreased some. The Topamax also helps a little even though my GP plans to increase my dose from 50mg to 100mg since I'm still getting headaches.

I also like my PT. She explains so much to me and helps me better understand my CTS. She informed me that my left hand (in which I have severe CTS) is over 50% weaker than my right (in which I have mild to moderate CTS). She never once pressured me to have CTS surgery and respects the fact that I worry about having surgery since it will mean being unable to use my left hand for several months. Not good for someone who is totally blind, uses their hands more than sighted people do and who is left-handed.

I also have CTS and the cartiledge in my hands is starting to deteriorate, the same disease the I have in my knees and hips. Yippee for me.

I can say right now that I'll fib to my pdoc tomorrow to avoid a "talking too" but I know that when I get there the truth will come pouring out of my big mouth! It's like being in front of the principal....don't want to make it worse by lieing.

I don't know but going into my 11th knee surgery, it's just all getting to be too much, I'm tired.

I'm glad you GP gave you the Topamax for a go, I've been on it for 2 years now and have been at 100 for about 10 months now...it works wonders on migraines....I went from cluster migraines that could last upto 13 days to having one or two migraines a month, I can definitely live with those numbers.

The kidney stones are a major pain, but if there's a serious side effect to be had with a med, then I get it.

Do you wear wrist splints for your CTS? My GP and PT advised me to wear splints 24/7 on both hands. I don't really like having to do this since it causes me more pain, but my PT thinks that part of the reason why I've been having pain in my right hand when wearing one is because my hands are very small and I was given a small splint when I actually needed an extra small. Now I'm using the correct size on both hands, so the pain isn't as bad as it used to be. I'm also thinking about purchasing an ergonomic keyboard, but haven't gotten around to checking online for one yet.

When you have your next knee surgery, how long will you be in a brace? I wish you well and hope that your recovery is smooth.

Yes I wear the hand splints, mainly when I'm working, doing alot of 10 key and computer work, or if I'm in the kitchen cooking alot, doing alot of chopping and mixing, any thing that is really stressful on my hands.

When I have my next surgery it will be the same tibial osteotomy and reconstruction that they did on the left knee, just doing it on the right, so I'll be on crutches for 3 months and in the brace for 7 months. I just got out of my left brace a week and a half ago. So it pretty much su*** big time, but it buys me about 5 yrs. until I have to have them completely replaced. They cut all the bones, muscles and tendons loose and reposition them and do bone graphs to raise the bones some then screw everything back together again....it's just loads of fun!

Have you ever considered having CTS surgery? My GP strongly recommended that I have it done on my left hand, but again, I'm concerned about being unable to use my hand for several months. Besides that, according to my PT, there is no guarantee that CTS surgery will eliminate all symptoms. If you continue doing whatever caused CTS in the first place, your symptoms can resurface -- sometimes worse than before. Since I use a computer for several hours/day, I fear that this would cause my CTS to return even if I have surgery.

I really haven't considered it with all the knee surgeries going on right now, I have to be able to use crutches and get through PT and such.

My sister had the CTS surgery a few years ago, and within 2 years hers was back as bad as before, because like you said she still did the same thing that made it bad in the first place. And it's not like I can change my profession to make it last longer.

This is true. Since I plan to eventually enter the field of psychiatry, computers will be a large part of my work environment. Therefore, I don't see a reason to have CTS surgery. My GP keeps bugging me to see a neurologist to have an EMG done, but the thought scares me because I hate the idea of pain. A long time ago I had acupuncture on my left hand and it hurt like h*ll.

Yes I wear the hand splints, mainly when I'm working, doing alot of 10 key and computer work, or if I'm in the kitchen cooking alot, doing alot of chopping and mixing, any thing that is really stressful on my hands.

When I have my next surgery it will be the same tibial osteotomy and reconstruction that they did on the left knee, just doing it on the right, so I'll be on crutches for 3 months and in the brace for 7 months. I just got out of my left brace a week and a half ago. So it pretty much su*** big time, but it buys me about 5 yrs. until I have to have them completely replaced. They cut all the bones, muscles and tendons loose and reposition them and do bone graphs to raise the bones some then screw everything back together again....it's just loads of fun!

kat

kat,

that all sounds so painful you have my absolute sympathy. i have carpal tunnel syndrome too. prob from all the years as chef and writer and i have no intention of stopping that. i find that if i get someone else to do the veg etc it makes it a lot easier. for some reason peeling potatoes is the worst but as we only have them about once/month that's not too bad! hope you're pain is not too bad. thinking of you. and btw did i read 'a black eye' on another post. what happened, thought you were avoiding him completely. i know it is hard to get over an abusing husband but it is for the best in the end. you cannot change him and that's the hardest thing to come to terms with.