Yesterday, I relaxed all morning (drinking coffee of course), then I worked in the house all afternoon. The kids and I cleaned the whole house, I did some laundry, and I organized my office.

I also made an amazing vision board and printed some affirmations to hang where we used to hang the kids’ art when it was the craft room! It was an amazing day.

I just love my little office. It’s so “me” and so amazing to spend so much of my time there. I work in here, do my Jesus letter writing, blogging, journaling, etc. It over-looks the hills and my desk is right in front of the window.

My desk has a beautiful mug filled with Younique brushes, a basket with pens and stickers for my Happy Planner, my HP all ready for the week coming up, my binder, a candle, a lamp, and my journal where I write Jesus letters. Also, on the shelf next to my desk, I have a basket with my samples on top of the laser printer, a shelf that has all of my important paperwork, plastic drawers with all of my makeup, my iPhone stand, my mirror, a towel, and the bottom shelf has the kids’ novels (somewhat random, but that’s where they fit).

Today I did a little bit of house work and I’m focusing on laundry. I am finishing up washing clothes, and I’m also washing sheets and towels.

Tomorrow I will be prepping some veggies in my veggie tray and will probably do some other food prep. I have LOVED having all of this time to get things done. I loved hanging out with my parents last weekend, but I always feel so behind when I don’t have my weekend at home. I cannot wait for summer! We will be able to hang out with my parents a lot!

On another note…

I have been processing through some things.

I recently ordered a Grove Collaborative box because it was a good deal ($20 for like 9-10 items). It’s all natural products and it made me happy. It made me think that I should start working on “going natural” again maybe. I have lived most of my life as a mommy in that space and it feels normal.

Then I started asking myself “why.” Is it to be able to tell people that I live “naturally” again? Would I fit in better in some spaces? Is it what I feel would make me a better mom? Is it because I truly love the products? Do I like what it takes to live in that?

The problem here is… I have the tendency for things to be “all or nothing.” When I was trying to do things naturally, if something wasn’t in the “natural” label, I thought I was messing up. I had homebirths (which I don’t regret one bit), did everything I could to nurse despite insufficient glandular tissue (that’s a whole other blog post), drove over an hour for raw milk and homemade kefir, milled my own flour, baked EVERYTHING from scratch, only ate organic/grass fed/pastured/etc, only used all natural and/or homemade cleaners/detergents/personal care products, tried oils for everything, stopped taking mental health meds when they were necessary, tried all of the herbs for mental health (and other things), cloth diapered (which I hated), used a Moby wrap then an Ergo carrier (which I loved), sprouted my own grains, had chickens (3 different times), made homemade water kefir (ew), made homemade sprouted bread (which is actually pretty easy), tried to make kombucha (and hated it), I could probably go on and on… I literally think I did it ALL.

I’m so thankful for the Balance 365 ladies. They reminded me that it truly can just be “all or something.” I can pick and choose. I don’t have to live a “natural life,” but I can use some natural things and that’s okay. I can decide what’s important to me, choose what I want to use, and just do what I want! There’s no law saying what I have to do. That’s the beauty of life, and especially the beauty of this program. I have spent my life and especially my mommy life trying to fit some mold. But I can just be who I want!

Use some essential oils (for aromatherapy)… but I don’t think they cure or treat real illness

Use some natural cleaners, personal care products, etc as I want to (I have some products already that are natural, and I’m going to be receiving Grove products)… including sometimes making cleaners (if I feel like it)

Use Younique makeup and skin care products (these are free of the 1,300 ingredients that Europe doesn’t allow in their products)

Use Melatonin for sleep (I used to take meds but I can’t anymore)

Use whole-foods based vitamins for all of us and cod liver oil for all of us (thought not the most expensive stuff… just what we can afford)

Buy organic foods (unless they are around the same cost as conventional), mostly because we can’t afford them and I don’t know that it really matters

Stop using candles 🙂

Stop using pretty smelling things

Stop using tooth paste with fluoride

Stop drinking soda (though I am working on cutting down because of how they make me feel when I drink too much)

Stop eating in the dining hall! (free food!!)

Making these lists was kind of fun. It helped me see things in a concrete way. There’s no reason to feel guilty. I am doing what I want!

And…

I also noticed myself trying to do “all or nothing” with the Balance 365 program. I felt like I had quite a few habits down before I took a break so I was trying to go back to all of them at once. First, maybe they weren’t habits if I quickly stopped doing them. Second, it’s so so important for me to just continue what I was doing (nighttime routine, cleaning routines, veggie tray, some things homemade, etc) and add one habit to work on. So, I added breakfast. I’m not even worried about a healthy, balanced breakfast at the moment. I just need to get some food in me in the morning. So far I’m about 3/7. I have a long way to go! But that’s the beauty of this program. I focus on one little thing at a time. I also have the printed workbook coming (will be here Monday) and can’t wait to get started on it! The first thing I will be focusing on is Diet Deprogramming. I’m so glad I decided to go back to it. These women are “my people,” and I just love them!

I could probably go on and on. I’m just really loving life these days. I’m loving living at Camp Eagle, our family and friends, I’m loving being a SAHM, I’m loving being a Younique presenter, having our home, my office, the little things, and on and on. Life is so good!!