Saturday, February 9, 2013

Weight Redistribution

Initially, during the beginning of weight restoration, all of the extra pounds settle in the midsection and show up in the face. This causes a horrifying pregnant belly look and a very noticeable uneven distribution of weight. It's quite unpleasant. Many people actually have a really difficult time with this phase of recovery and end up giving up because they don't believe they will ever look "normal" again.

While I was still in treatment, my therapist had to remind me every single day that redistribution would happen if I gave it time; meaning the weight from my stomach would spread out more evenly among the rest of my body. Honestly, I thought that was a bunch of bologna and continued to be annoyed with my weight gain situation. As if gaining weight wasn't mortifying enough, having it all go to my stomach made it that much worse.

It has been proven that weight redistribution, hunger cues, and general eating habits can take anywhere from 6 months to a year (or more) to normalize. My treatment team put a ton of time and effort into tweaking my metabolism; so it became extremely important to me not to mess that up.

As hard as it is to believe, it has officially been six months since I hit my goal weight. Most days I do not think my weight has even begun the redistribution process; but because I see my body every single day, it's hard to see the changes that have taken place over time.

So, after a week of atrocious body image, I needed to do something about it.

The first picture is on my graduation day at the end of last summer and the second picture is one I took this morning. Same dress, same belt, same Kelsi- much different distribution of weight. Actually, my set point weight went up about 7-10 pounds after leaving treatment, which means my weight is that much higher in the second picture.

There isn't much else for me to say in this post except- redistribution DOES happen and I am living proof of it. Once again, this just goes to show that the number on the scale means absolutely nothing. Suddenly, my bad body image day is gone.

36 comments:

I'm so glad you wrote this post..I know a lot of girls coming out of treatment places thinking the weight is permanent when in reality it will all even out. I struggled with the same thing and it really DOES happen like you said. It's just about patience!

Thank you SO much for your kind words!! I'm glad this post helped you a little bit. It was definitely reassuring to me, as I'm sure it was to you, to know that redistribution is real. Keep up the good work, it does get better! Sending you lots of love <3

Wow this is great! I am just about a month into recovery and my body image is all over the place because it feels as if all the weight is going to my stomach! But after seeing those photos I am feeling much better about weight gain! If I recover looking as lovely, fit and healthy as you I will be very pleased.

If you don't mind me saying you also look beautifully slender - I mean in a healthy way of course. Nothing like I initially thought recovery would make me look.

You're not alone in your concern, but trust me, your treatment team is not is not out to make you overweight in anyway whatsoever! Also, I should mention that I have done zero exercise since leaving treatment, I have only focused on sticking to my meal plan the very best that I could- I think that helps regulate the metabolism a little faster. Thanks so much for the comment and your kind words! Hang in there! It does get soooo much better! <3

Thank u so much honey,i am an older woman who has suffered most of my life with ana.I so needed to hear this.I am trying to do this on my own due to insurance.I hope this runs true to older women also.thank u so much.c.chapman

Thank you so much for posting this. My dietitian also told me that it would take at least 6 months for the redistribution, but somewhere in my mind... I am not believing it. I need to gain weight about 10 lbs, and that will bring my weight back to the time when I was healthy. I am 45 years old. Does the age matter...? My dietitian says, "NO"... but it just really triggers me... REALLY REALLY TRIGGERS ME... *struggling*

You're welcome! I don't think age should matter at all. The biggest thing with redistribution is TIME. It's frustrating for awhile, but just remember that your body needs that time to relearn how to function properly. Also, because you live with yourself everyday it is hard to see the progress. If it helps, I had to gain about 50lbs and redistribution still happened! Trust your body, it will take care of the rest. Keep fighting! <3

This is such a great and helpful post! I get asked by my clients all of the time if the weight gain in their stomach and face is a normal part of refeeding and if they will always look like that. I always discuss with them that weight gain there is a normal part of refeeding, but that some of it should redistribute within 6 months to a year (and that they have to be patient). I am glad I came across this post. It's one thing for someone to hear from their dietitian (or another treatment team member) that redistribution of weight will eventually happen, but quite another to hear from someone who actually went through it.

do you have any tips on how to make the redistribution come along quicker? i have been adding candies to my 3500kcals every day in hopes to speed the process (lol as counterproductive as it feels), but any words of advice from a seasoned vet would be much appreciated. You look amazing, by the way; you looked amazing in the left photo too, though. just saying :)

Gosh I wish I knew of a way to make the weight distribution process go faster - I'd be a millionaire! Hahha. Everyone is different, but I do think consistent eating and sticking to your meal plan is really important. The more stable you can keep your weight during those first 6-12 months (and forever) the faster it seemed to go for me. Best of luck to you!! xx

Hi, Thank you for posting this! I am turning 19 in a month and was anorexic for about 2 years. I have been a normal weight for over a year now and my weight has not redistributed! I have not had my period for 6 months (I've had it two-three times extremely lightly every since I've reached my goal weight). My doctor has now put me on birth control to hopefully get it back. Another issue is that I am a varsity athlete in college and so I have to train pretty intensively to keep in shape, but I'm worried that the training is blocking my period from returning? Is there a link between menstruation and weight redistribution? I've been fine with gaining the weight back and have been doing really well, but lately the fact that I've been recovered for over a year and there are still not signs of period/weight redistribution is starting to get to me. Any advice? Do you know anything about this?

I think I have heard that many serious athletes lose their periods due to lack of body fat. You can be at a healthy weight, but still have a small amount of body fat. And everyone takes different amounts of time to regulate. There are so many factors that go determine this. Also, if you are under a lot of stress, it can effect the regulation of your period. Congrats on gaining the weight back! That's a huge step. Keep being patient and kind with yourself. Good things will happen! <3

Kelsi, I can't tell you how much this has helped me mentally. I'm 5'2" and have been working with a nutritionist to go from 95 pounds to 110. I've pretty much reached my goal weight, but I'm feeling so gross and fat. I know you said that it takes a whole for the weight to properly redistribute, but I am so frustrated and feel like it never will. I still don't have a chest and that's bugging the heck out of me because I feel like I'm gaining weight everywhere else. Do you have any insight on this? Thanks!

Hi, I finally decided to confront my eating disorder at the end of July, it is now the start of February. I find that my body shape has completly changed. Puffy face and flabby belly. I get anxiety from time to time as I miss being the 'thin' one, however I am determoned to stick with the regualr eating and not restricting myself as I had some really low point. My weight at one point being 7 stone 6 lbs and 5 goot 6 that was considerably thin. I am worried that my body will never return to my post eating disorder days when I was naturally thin because of the famine fast it has endured over a period of about five years. Is this normal? Xxxx

Thank you so much for sharing something so personal and yet so inspiring. I am currently 7 months in to recovery and am now in maintenance. Feelings are really raw and heightened for me right now but seeing your honest and inspirational post makes more sense than my therapist!I cannot thank you enough Kelsi, keep on keeping on :-) x

Hi, thanks for writing this post, it is really helpful. I'm 17 years old and haven't had my period in two years because I was overexercising and not eating enough. But I've been in recovery for over a year and reached my goal weight about 7 months ago. But the weight still has not redistributed! I have been weight training and working out, and see definition, but my stomach is still huge from bloating and fat accumulation there. I still don't have my period but started birth control pills two weeks ago so we'll see if that will help. I guess my question is if anyone knows whether the birth control pills and their effect on my hormone levels will help to kind of "kick start" redistribution? I'm just so tired of this and am ready to move on with life... Thanks for your help:)

You look amazing :D I too am in recovery and have been told i am now allowed to maintain my weight and exercise my body is needing to redistribute the weight though as some is still on my stomach...how long did it take for yours and does the stomach start to look better with every passing month of distribution

Just to clarify: the picture on the left is the earlier one, right? If so, wow, that distribution of weight really is different now (and you look great, too!)

I wonder if this is true for those who aren't in an eating disorder recovery period, but who are just trying to gain weight period. I'm trying to put on at least 30 pounds (I was at a normal weight, but I'm tired of being "the thin one"), and after the first 10 went on, it's all gone into my abdominal area. I'm hoping that eventually it will start to redistribute to other areas.

I'm really glad that I found your blog, and this entry because I am currently dealing with this issue, and it is NOT easy!It has been a year (I was admitted the Tuesday after labor day last year) since I entered my first stint into an EDU. I have come a long way since, but I know, and feel that I still have a long way to go. I guess that I'm still in the refeeding process as I know that I am not at my set weight yet, and my opinions of my body are horrible (and totally off). I hate how I feel, hate how I look in the mirror and wonder why it is that I am gaining, and feel that I am holding, all of this weight in my midsection and nowhere else.Again, reading this entry of yours has given me hope that if I just continue to eat a healthy diet, that in time I will get to my goal weight and that I will begin to look normal again.

Keep up the good work!! Sorry for such a long response time.. I have been way too distant from this blog! But yes, everything you are feeling is totally normal and you will begin to feel better eventually. Just keep reminding yourself that these feelings are temporary and hang in there!! <3

Hello Kelsi, thanks for your blog, it also helped me a lot. I started my treatment about three weeks ago, after having a horrible episode where I almost fainted while driving after a gym class and my sugar levels were completely off.It's been a rough couple of weeks, but I manage to go through and also I was soo afraid of dying that day and nothing is going to send me back to where I was. It was horrible!I am out of the danger of the re-feeding syndrome and also out of the hyper-metabolic stage..were I could not stop eating and eating and eating. I feel like I gain to much weight too fast, but I know I should not complaint and trust the process.The weight is not only in my stomach but also in my tights and boobs, did this happen to anyone???I cannot fit into the pants I was using before I started with my eating disorder, did that happen to any of you?Also none of my bras work..they all fit too tight...Let me know your thought and experience.Thanks so much, Ana.

Hi Ana,I think what you are experiencing is pretty normal. Along with the weight gain in your midsection, you do start to gain in other places as well. When I say the weight goes straight to your stomach, its true, but it is also true that it goes other places. And remember it's okay to complain and be frustrated with the process. Don't bottle up those feelings. Talk about them with your therapist and she can help you work through them. Know that this process is incredibly difficult and you don't have to do it alone. I'm proud of you for making it through the first few weeks of refeeding. If you can make it through these first few weeks, then you can definitely keep going! Sending lots of love. :)

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About Me

I am currently in the recovery stages from an eating disorder. I remember writing and pretending to publish books with my best friend in 5th grade. Writing allows me to express myself better than any other type of communication. This blog allows me to share my experiences and inspire others. As a culinary school grad, the recovery process will not be an easy one. But, with the help of my support system, growing self respect and a little laughter through writing, I believe I will beat this.