Just when I thought I'm past the habit of making anniversary posts because I've ran out of ideas to write, and tbh my yearly contents were all the same, my 7th year in the fandom is the obvious oddity. Even last year's start of fangirling over Panic! At The Disco pales to how shook my emotions are this year. (And did you know that Western Pop music completely took me back into its arms? *gasp! and more gasps ala Selena Gomez*)

But this blog is mainly dedicated to NEWS, and at most times, when I say "fandom"I automatically mean NEWS. I also know you came to this post for NEWS so yes I'll give you NEWS. Leave the cake at my door. :p

However, inadvertent it always is (no, don't believe that--I've always done it on purpose), this blog post will focus on Tegoshi. Not only because he's my bias. If my last LJ entry talked about Koyama not onlybecause it was his birthday but for the troubles he was facing that time, it's unfortunately the same with Tego. Only it can be considered worse. Great man meets great fallback. World eats boy. (At this point I'm talking not in a Fan sense, though the next paragraphs are guaranteed to be more fangirl-sounding... and emotional. I guess I'm still warming up xD)

First things first. I can't believe I have spent 7 years in the fandom. That's 1/3 of my life on Earth! I never forgot the day I fell for subgroup Tegomass for their music, and how the curiosity for the main group NEWS turned into something big, that less than a year afterwards, nobody could calm me down as I cried over Tegoshi Yuya for no reason other than I was just a fan.

It's not that hard to accept things. I can proudly say that I'm an obsessive-but-not-possessive fangirl. While I can provide a blueprint of "how to snatch Tegoshi and lock him up in my house" (jk. jk. jooooke), I won't do that, because what will happen to my gazillion Tego OTPs? I believe that the more, the merrier, so it warms my heart seeing Tegoshi gain wider fame and more fans. He got out of the shadows--that's the secret reason I got over RyoPi withdrawal that fast. EviL LaUgH harharharharhar

In spite of my extremely Tegoshi-centric fangirling during the first years, I couldn't envisage him in a successful future without the rest of the group. NEWS worked as a team and they became STRONG AF, INSEPARABLE AF, LOVABLE AF; showed they are ARTISTIC/MUSICAL AF, and most importantly: HOT AF!! (lol this makes me sound perv af) For the hundreds of thousands of fans, NEWS was/is why we love NEWS. I get more offended when NEWS is being targeted than when it's Tegoshi alone. The group is my treasure, I've expressed a lot of positivity about them. It's all genuine. Side by side, my admiration for NEWS grew big and my attachment to Tegoshi grew deep, vice versa.

I wanted this entry to be thoughtfully detailed by making it a Fandom History post (a.k.a. my fangirl journey 2010-present! I started to write regular journals coinciding with the time I started to be a NEWS fan so yes I can chart my fangirl timeline) but that wasn't what I originally meant when I said I'll post my anniversary post early; besides, my different accounts dedicated to this crazy roller coaster of emotions lifestyle have spoken way louder than any single illustrative post. Secret # 2: I've had many NEWS-related accounts/blogs and some of them gained prominence in the fandom without revealing I am behind those ;) What are these accounts? Secret~

Anyway, added to the fact that NEWS fandom is collectively peaceful, because NEWS love surprising us fans, the excitement was always there and it was nearly impossible that the feelings will die out. This place has become such a huge part of my life--more than the longevity, although I consider it too because rarely I get attached to something--it's the heart and mind investment that counts. The dedication. The passion. Here's one more secret: I silently judged those who left the fandom. I was really devoted to NEWS that I didn't understand why the other 'devotees' could just leave like that, especially in the recent years, when the group is at its peak in activity. Why abandon when everything finally feels right? The more the merrier was my philosophy when it comes to this, so when anybody stopped being a fan, I took it to heart.

2016 suddenly became a turning point. Maybe because I was subconsciously stressed about entering adulthood, or maybe it was P!ATD bursting the bubble that's been long enclosed in NEWS, or maybe it was caused by my forming doubts on Tegoshi's attitude and behavior (more on the next paragraphs) that I fathomed the feeling of decreasing enthusiasm. I realized that the level of love could stay the same, but you can love that thing andnot be overly passionate about it. Furthermore, my disappointment over leaving fans was gone, and I learned that many of those who left didn't actually stopped loving NEWS; they just stopped at acting like fans and doing fan things.

To comprehend these... It felt liberating, yet it bothered me somehow. I was still very attached to Tegoshi and the fandom, and the dwindling of passion was conficting with the strong feelings I still have inside.

Things are getting back to normal. 2017 is generally delightful for NEWS, with NEVERLAND album being their most musically daring album yet, the 3-month concert tour comes to an emotional finish. Koyama is again chosen for 24hrTV. There are new J-web corners. SCP's doing great; they've got more time for group bonds, and a simultaneous boom in indivudual/duo shows and projects. The members' relationship are stronger than ever (generic statement but very true, they're stronger than ever). Fandom's turning 15 next year! Once a dream, now the norm, NEWS is heading to an amazing direction. If Koyama and Tegoshi's rumors have one positive implication, it is the fact that NEWS is now worthy to be publicized with that kind of attention. While not exactly pleasant, it's an indicator that NEWS has definitely piqued the consciousness of virtually anyone in Japan.

And there goes my ichiban. All I've really wanted for him is to be a good person. It is a blanket term because 'good' can mean a lot of things. Obviously, I don't expect him to become an altruist or give up his current lifestyle. I don't want him to tone down. I just hope he'd be more mindful, with the personal potential he's got, and the kind of focus he utilizes to achieve things... He could be a reckless idol yet a responsible person at the same time. How about inspiring? He already is. Just his presence can make his fans dream big, think big. You've heard him speak seriously, it's almost enlightening. Everyone could muse about his face, his voice, his physical/mental/emotional strength and abilities. The catch is, inspiration can't be seen, so only us who stand by him can understand how clear an inspiration Tegoshi radiates.

It's theoretically hard to have intense feelings for someone who doesn't even know you, but if that intensity has found its way to your system, it turns into faith. I'm proud that I support Tegoshi, in a myriad of ways and in the brightest and darkest of days, such as this. I want to say it's Love but the term is always debatable in celebrity-fan situations... However, even some people in actual relationships don't think about their partners in depth and isn't concerned much with the character, the potential, the good and the bad, and how things could be in the long run. Maybe I am just the overthinker kind, but with all that's embraced is it still wrong to say that I love Tegoshi? I believe that these seven years are love, regardless of distance, regardless of not knowing everything. In spite of my often exaggerations and misjudgements. The faith is there. I love Tegoshi Yuya and I love NEWS. I may not be as enthusiastic as before but this love has become a constant thing--it never ends.

One last secret: When I saw the photos and reports of Tegoshi crying at the con, I cried for him at least twice a day for five days straight. "Apathetic", huh :p Not really relevant to everyone but to this post! xD Happy 7th anniversary to me :)

I don't know how to start this genre-searching, artist-loving segment so let's just start from when. When I said last year that I'll augment my music exploration in 2016, although I was earnest I wasn't committed to doing that. The then-incoming year saw spotlight on NEWS, and my new KPop fandoms also started to get exciting--I thought, 2016 would be a year of settling on the artists I discovered on/before 2015. In short, no new fandoms please!!! Focus on your existing loves!!!

Well, it turned out that 2015 was just a taste test. Because in 2016, that's where the buffet began to be served.

Window shopping, genre hopping

For the true love of genres, I studied them. There were probably almost 10 times I hooked up *LOL* with Wiki-kun *LooOOoL* and other sites to randomly research about Rock and is subgenres, Electronic and its subgenres; refresh my knowledge of Classical music eras, etc. The result, I got better at identifying genres. It's a small dream of mine to hear songs and identify their precise genre in a snap. For example, knowing that Blood, Sweat and Tears by BTS is Tropical House just by listening to its first 10 seconds.

No one can deny (except EXO-Ls? hahaha) that this is the grandest KPop release of the year. I still didn't get into KPop boys, though.

Genre is like food; both are/have flavors, it's inevitable to pick your tastes. Power Pop is one. I think this is pretty apparent in my fondess for hyper, driven tracks. Progressive Rock, like Queen's (and Panic! At The Disco cover) Bohemian Rhapsody, is a genre I'd want to challenge, whether composed or sung, in the future. Aside from the fact that it's one of the hardest to pull off, it's the fulfillment of my vision of pieces so varied you hear symphonies the one minute, and Swing the next!

The original Bohemian Rhapody in 1975 and the 2016 cover. Asking the forbidden question: which version is better?

Skipping hundred more genres and subgenres, appreciating them from afar (thus, "window shopping" xD) as this post won't go into the technical side of things, let's head to the highlight--the songs and the artists.

I didn't just Panic!

In my six years of being a loyal NEWS fan, Panic! At The Disco is the only band/artist that reached the level of love I have for NEWS. (You can see my P!ATD-appreciation post here) But it doesn't mean that my bias treatment is the same. Instead of focusing only on P!ATD as I did on NEWS especially on the getting-to-know stage, P!ATD became the door for a genuine music enjoyment by means of actively searching for more.

I could say that I'm the musician with the least knowledge of songs. Despite my frequent assertions of open-mindedness to music, I admittedly don't listen to a lot of songs (IF we're talking about songs I choose to listen to. Otherwise, I've known a lot of songs from the TV, radio, karaoke, and other media since childhood! Haven't we all?) I tend to repeat only the ones I like, and I can do that for years.

Here's a comparison for a clearer picture. Tegoshi said he has over 10,000 songs in his music player. 500 is already too many for me. Brendon learns almost 500 songs a year. I could only go with 50-100. Tegoshi also said he loops songs for an average of 2 times. When I heard his solo Encore for the first time, I looped it for 2 straight weeks!

This means that while I'm very open to genres, I'm notoriously picky with songs. My exploration this year is my wildest so far. If it goes beyond on 2017, why not, right?

Artist Feature

And we've reached this point! There are many artist/bands I wanted to feature, but I'll only show whose discographies I've already dug (that says I've loved them enough!) Carry on~

These artists almost made it on the Feature list! I'd still like to mention them in a shorter, separate list (because I am really motivated when it comes to listing stuff :>)

Artist:Fall Out BoyWhy include? Because FOB bassist Pete Wentz discovered P!ATD and put the band under his music label. He is their literal senpai! Also, FOB is part of the "Emo Trinity", with P!ATD and My Chemical Romance.I recommend:20 Dollar Nosebleed (Feat Brendon Urie)

Artist:The BrobecksWhy include? I learned this band through Dallon Weekes, P!ATD's ex-bassist, wherein in The Brobecks he was the frontman. Although now inactive before even hitting it big, the band made cool alternative tracks.I recommend:Love At First Sight

Artist:Justin BieberWhy include? A pure coincidence, or by Tegoshi's influence? Nevertheless, I really like his new material and recent collaborations.I recommend:Let Me Love You (DJ Snake feat Justin Bieber)

Artist:4th ImpactWhy include? A Filipina group of sisters (again!) that made it into the top 5 of X-Factor UK Season 12. I don't know if they already have original songs; anyhow, I got addicted watching their contest performances on Youtube.I recommend: Their classic and viral audition hit, Bang Bang

Artist:Fifth HarmonyWhy include? Im a year where both Fifth Harmony and Little Mix are equally relevant (more relevant than male groups like One Direction!), I prefer the sassier and sexier Fifth Harmony. Nothing personal, I just like their songs more.I recommend:That's My Girl

Song Feature

This part is tricky. I don't have a clear basis for the list; if we go by my favorites for each featured artist above, my other favorites outside these artists won't be included. Same as if I give featured songs outside of these artists. To settle, this will be a random list of 10 songs that'll immediately pop in my mind *meaning this part is candidly written!!*, trying to be as artist-varied as possible without forfeiting my actual favorites! Here we go~

In total, I actively listened to an average of 400 songs this 2016. This year-end feature is short of expounding the expanse of my music experiences and exploration *LOL a lot of "ex"-es there!*; for example I didn't mention my (almost) monthly Classical music meditation, where I listen to different instrumental pieces without searching for their names and composers, to keep my mind unwary of memorizing every artist and every repertoire. I started self-studying guitar, albeit it hasn't progressed from the few basic chords! I also had fuuuuuuun times with my young cousins as we formed a cover/jamming group, Panic! At The Discrew. Most of our silly covers a.k.a. shenanigans were stored in my tab, and were erased permanently when the gadget was formatted :'( Last summer, my family had plans of conducting singing tutorials at home, though it did not come to fruition (besides, I don't think I can be a reliable music teacher orz). What else? I have a pen, I have an apple... Uh! apple pen!

End the rambling with the rambling with a beat. ピコ太郎 (Piko-Taro)'s PPAP is just one of Japan's biggest contribution to 2016 in music!

This reminds me that I still have to hear Babymetal for even Brendon adores this kawaii Metal group. 2017 will be a blast! I have a feeling that next year will swivel to Japanese music in depth, a certain possibility made by the official start of MNL48 this December. Things are going fast, in fact. As for MNL48, I'll try to make a blog post from an outsider's perspective (not an AKB48 fan nor an MNL48 applicant).

Presently, the featured artists, songs, even the others that haven't touched the lists in this post, are my joys of 2016.What's yours? *this sounds like a line from a commercial--insert commercial jingle* xD

Ah, the smell of turkeys... The sound of Thanksgiving! *uhh Leya, you don't celebrate Thanksgiving in your country! /laughs/*

Still and all, it's just the right season to be grateful for EVERYTHING, fandom-wise. I have prepped to make a pimp post/list of all of NEWS' activities this 2016, but I was apparently distant for some time, and I couldn't do it without possibly missing a detail or two (but I still want to do it; why not? ^_^)

Although I'm a week late with the LJ greeting, my birthday posts were actually posted early--minutes to November 11. Ironically, even when now I don't get enthusiastic over NEWS/Tegoshi like I used to, his 29th birthday was his birthday I anticipated the most. Blame the 29-peso Coke Float from McDonalds I got addicted to; every time I bought the flashing ₱29 made me think of Tegoshi (even Brendon) and his then-incoming 29th year of fucking existence.

A week after the post, I’d like to rant. I usually say what I think on FB but I feel like this is a small, shallow complaint, otherwise it affects me negatively. I’m very, very, very disappointed that my birthday post got a low count of 20 notes.

Yes it matters to me, especially when my past tributes never reached below the 50-note mark. There’s a reason I don’t go too personal on Tumblr: it is where I want recognition for my aesthetics rather than to be gushy or soppy (not to say I ain’t ever! For one, my birthday post is a gushy type of post.)

To be fair I still had another birthday tribute posted, and it got an equal number of notes yet it was a sleazy bit that I wasn’t too concerned about. (crossposted on Tumblr and All Things Tegoshit)

It was the antithesis to the seriousness of the other post, and an indicator that despite everything, I was very much having fun that day.

Speaking of having fun! On Nov. 11 I had a spontaneous meet-up with Dhes, where the idea of this entry’s title comes from. “Spontenacious” for the half-carefree, half-solid celebration, and “Cereb-ration”, because we had a whole afternoon/evening of fandom talk—portions of which were intellectual, almost deep discussions about Tegoshi, Tegomass, NEWS… you know, fandom thingamajigs.

And in every fan gathering there’s a huge deal of wacky and tacky:

You know what it meant, right? xD

GOTTA CATCH IT WHOLE... TEGOMON!!

Oraaaaaaayt. Happy Pocky Day as well!

While Tegoshi’s birthday was a “spontenacious cereb-ration”, Tegomass’ anniversary was a very quiet day for me, having a severe cold and cough I can’t even see the computer screen clearly and all I did was borrow (and credit ofc!) a TM fanart from Deviantart and post it on FB.

But the international fandom has been more than ready. In all its awesomeness, here’s the Intl Paana (including the Japanese fans) tribute to テゴマスの10th!

Tegomass is such a powerful duo shown in the prettiest of images, don't you agree? ♥Again, happy birthday Tegoshi and happy anniversary Tegomass. There are a lot of things to be grateful for, and for us, you are on the top of the list.

More than a month of fangirling over Panic! At The Disco and this band effortlessly makes its mark on me as a lifetime influence, just like NEWS. It took the same quick period for NEWS to secure that spot in my life, by the way. (And look how far I've gone walking with NEWS ♥ With Panic! it might just be the same!)

There's no denying it. Panic! is now at par with NEWS: My number 1 fandom, my favorite people, my greatest inspiration, etc. And because I can't just let two "number ones" compete for my enthusiasm, time and appreciation, I've cited a big distinction between the two; yeah, I sound like a sore arbiter but it has made me at peace with my feelings ever since. (Damn were the days in late April when I was very new to Panic! and I kept weighing my passion for both bands ><)

NEWS is my family. The place where I belong. It's a habitat that thrives on love; I get my ample share, and I give my ample support in return. Here is where I feel the safest, yet here is also where I feel bold. Tegoshi is my ideal person. Despite this, I don't actually want to be like Tegoshi. And NEWS' personality doesn't really speak to me on a personal level. I've found more of myself in Panic!.

Panic! At The Disco is my spirit animal. It's who I am both in my weakest and in my strongest. I see myself in the metaphors of their lyric-writing, especially Ryan's. I see my ideal self in Brendon's personality, musicality, and creativity. I want to be like Brendon. The band's success and freedom are my goals. But my source of nurturing and support is NEWS. And Tegoshi remains as my ideal person.

But maybe you wonder HOW it's Panic! among other bands and artists. Tbh, since I became into NEWS, Western bands, whatever genre they're doing, were all the same to me. The Panic! I knew, was a musical fling back in 2008. For a fact, I didn't know who Panic! was/were, except for the attention-hogging name *!* and a couple of songs which were a little part of my huge adolescent playlist by various artists and that was the actual musical fling).

I sang along to I Write Sins Not Tragedies and even made a Tagalog parody without knowing the names of the band members and what they look like. So how did that change? How was I reintroduced to the band and became the fan that I am today? Oh, well imagine, as I'm searching Wikipedia about Neoclassical Music and I can't help but to see, oh I can't help but to see a link that says: "List of Baroque Pop Artists"...

...It's partly NEWS' fault.

April 12, 2016. I was halfway through my QUARTETTO album review (that still isn't posted is also posted today, after almost 3 months delay, and it's partly Panic!'s fault! Hahaha) when I had to check Wikipedia for Classical Music terms and references. NEWS' new style is specifically Neoclassical (lit. "New Classical") and its subgenres, best known of which is Baroque Pop. Out of curiosity, I checked the link List of Baroque Pop Artists to see if maybe there are familiar artists I'd chance there. I saw Kalafina in the list and I was honestly not surprised, though very, very pleased because the JPop trio was my jam at the time (They're still my jam!). Besides Kalafina, Panic! At The Disco was present.

Taking a break from my NEWS review I clicked on Panic!'s Wiki page, and it's not that I didn't have any choice of other artists yet I was genuinely interested why the band is under Baroque Pop. I knew them as an alternative rock band--again, I actually didn't know anything about the band prior to rediscovery but I wasn't that ignorant to not know they were alternative rock. Sure, I memorized 'I Write Sins...' stripped down to its cello intro but the other Panic! songs I remembered were so different from each other.

But the thing that intrigued me more was seeing the current line-up: a one-man band! Naturally, you'd check that sole member when there are no other options to check (ex-members are another topic). Coincidentally, it was Brendon *I wrote "Brandon" in my diary and people in the fandom said 90% will probably get his name wrong at first encounter--and I belong to that huge percentage orz* Urie's birthday that day so being a cheesy believer of fate I believed the coincidence was a sign I have to explore the band.

He's approximately 7 months older than Tegoshi, and approx 8 years older than me. Wtf is with these '87-liners huhuu

Also as I was having problems regarding my feelings for Tegoshi *HAHAHAHA I NEVER TOLD YOU ABOUT IT, LIVEJOURNAL!* the urge for exploring other artists was strong (though I have been in the exploration phase since last year). I listened to MAMAMOO, AOA, and Kalafina more frequently than I listened to NEWS, and since Panic!'s confusing genre retained to me throughout that week, I finally searched the band on Youtube.

Tonight we are victorious. Feel optimistic about the little things in life yet?

Victorious was the first I thing I saw; honestly, I was disappointed because it sounded cliche--cite similarities with Taylor Swift's Bad Blood (or was it just me?)--but the music video was utterly entertaining! And Brendon's attractive af. I went to I Write Sins... for relieving those high school memories. It has been a while since I heard that song in spite of still singing it (and the parody) from time to time. :p

Panic!'s debut MV won an award. This has set the standard for all and every succeeding Panic! MVs.

I can't recall any instance of me watching the video before but when I watched it, it was so familiar. Maybe because the song was popular back then that I somehow knew what the video looked like? Either way, it gave me intense throwback feels! And I also saw Nine In The Afternoon, another song I knew and enjoyed, but have forgotten until it showed on the related videos.

At this point my interest to know Panic! grew at a fast rate. Aside from the obvious that Victorious, I Write Sins Not Tragedies, and Nine In The Afternoon are insanely different songs for a single band and that kind of variety is my ultimate dream if I become a de facto musician, I was sure I knew more songs; I just haven't recalled everything yet.

In my second try at exploring the band on Youtube I saw more recent as well as familiar songs/videos, and the incessant variety kept me excited. I was particularly awestruck by Time To Dance, it was one of the old songs I liked so baaaad. Hearing it again after years was so classic it evoked an important question--why didn't I appreciate Panic! as much as I did for Paramore?--that question is important because Paramore is my first-ever favorite artist, hence I never dared to put it in line with my fandoms and other favorites.

Caption: Idk why but I love this song so much.

Until I rediscovered Panic! and I was oddly attracted to the band strong enough that after Youtube I immediately followed fandom pages/websites too. Finally, it was during midnight of April 22, ten days after Brendon's birthday and the accidental rediscovery, that I proclaimed over a sleepless night of laughing to Panic! memes: The band is now officially added to my fandoms. ♥

That's when something unprecendented (at least for me) happened. A couple of hours later, Panic! announced that they'll be having a concert in the Philippines this August!

Caption: This kind of news would really give one a panic *oh yeah I just made a pun involving my two faves! xD

The rest is history; I mean, it's just a little over a month since I entered the fandom but in the days and weeks I've spent many big changes already happened, as seen from how it quickly climbed the ladder from being "just another fandom" to being the number one fandom.

Discography & Line-up changes. You know you truly love something when you love every aspect of it. (cr: panicatthesocialgrathering)

And no, it's more than fandom stuff. Things have changed personally, from my way of thinking, to my habits, to my goals. I'm currently working all of these so it's not a great time to discuss personal matters, and maybe they're too personal for the blog anyway.

I still love NEWS truly, deeply... but Panic! At The Disco redefined me. As I said, Panic! is my spirit animal. For the band's fans, it feels uncomfortable when the exclamation point in the name is missing. For me, it's my turning point in that exclamation point.

We've seen a lot 'stages of fangirling' memes, charts, and posts on the internet. Me, who always attempts (and enjoys!) turning existing ideas into my own version, never did one, because this is one aspect of fangirling I'm not very certain about. It's like evolution--you will never know what's next except if you're the next. In general we are better in exploring backwards that's why it's easier to be a historian than an inventor.

And I love history. I may never have made a ‘stages of fangirling’ post, but I always love to backtrack. NEWS did the Myojo 10,000-character interview twice; the first was in 2011, the latter was last year. Chankapaana means "my beloved" and it's our name since 2012. I remember one day in March five years ago when I first cried hard because of Tegoshi (for you know, langit ka lupa ako reasons ><"), to the first time I pulled an all-nighter for NEWS; the first time I played a NEWS song on the piano on impromptu (improvising chord progressions lol); and definitely, the very day I became a fangirl. Good thing I had just started writing a serious diary back then. Everything was recorded and it was hilarious. I cannot believe I fell for a Japanese! Not being racist--I just didn't appreciate Japan, it was the country I had the least interest in. I even wanted to go to Africa first!

When I entered the fandom, it was a totally warm and welcoming world that I felt I was going to last. In fact, I have a long-time envy of long-time fans... there's this want to reach what they've reached. Most fans I know were ahead by 3 or 4 years while I was a newbie. During my 3rd year, which means the older fans passed the 6th and 7th year mark, the want turned into an aim. I aimed to reach the 6th, 7th years. I dunno what will happen next, or if NEWS would still exist, but that was my conscious decision: to be a long-time fan.

Working towards this aim I actually felt very natural. Even there was only a single release in 2014, that year was one of my active years. 2015 was a NEWSfest and I forgot about my internal timetable. Stages of fangirling what? Where am I? Where should I be?? Nah, everyone's enjoying the heap of activities and so do I!

NEWS appears to be unstoppable. I, meanwhile, am beating the 6th-year mark in June--three months from now. Taking a little time (thus writing this entry) to reflect, it’s meaningful and relieving, because in a way it has become a life goal and I've reached it faster and easier than I imagined. My dream of celebrating my longevity--a dream almost as intense as seeing Tegoshi in person, is just on the horizon. ♥

This sentiment will probably make the older fans, the 3 or 4 years ahead of me fans, laugh at how silly I am with this 6thyear thing whereas they’re in their 9th or 10th year now! Or better yet, they can relate. I've never known a fan who isn't sentimental and counts the years of stay in the fandom like celebrating wedding anniversaries.

Maybe I'm not concerned with the stages of fangirling, because I find eras more appealing, as I've lept the stages in time, and all I could ever think now is how far could this go (I've always thought of that, apparently). Another aim: 10 years? Nah, everyone's enjoying the heap of activities and so do I! But seriously. Betting on 10 years, I'm getting unnecessarily anxious.

Whenever I'm feeling unnecessarily anxious I just think of Tegoshi's cheeks that are like dough. I don't necessarily know why too. (gif: koyamacchi)

Below is the most famous 'stages of fangirling' meme, or the most accurate among the ones I researched for the sake of this post. :> Okay, though I'm not very attentive, it doesn't mean I deny the truth that's in these memes. It happens to me and it happens to everyone else; within these long eras and years of being in a fandom these stages repeat themselves over and over again. Sigh. This is why I stayed.

...and Tegoshi's feelings about the Lionel Messi encounter would probably be the exact same feelings when I finally encounter Yuya Tegoshi in person. (Plus an anticipated faint/collapse/falls-to-the-ground-unconscious scene I'm seriously practicing to avoid LOLOLOLOL)

These photos come from various sources, from ItteQ's short feature about it, to various news clippings, etc. The screenshots are grabbed from Tegoshi Yuya Fangirls page and from Aria Hajime on FB.

My thoughts about it? Not easy to describe! I did get teary-eyed when I first saw the Vine from ItteQ. That's holy Messi, the best player in the world (SORRY CR7. SORRY) for soccer-lovers' sake. I'm fortunate to see my two fandoms merging (I was a FC Barça fan for quite a time; still I am but it has toned down to being 'casual'), but I didn't even recall the fandom-merge as the reason for my shallow tears. It's not even about my fandoms anymore! It's about Tegoshi, and his idol. The spotlight is on him shining the spotlight on Messi. Get this tangled analogy?

How Tegoshi kept his cool is something I don't count amazing. Given that he could actually control his emotions in surprising ways (like in a recent interview where he talked about one time he was feeling down while in a filming with NEWS but no one noticed), in his brief meet-and-greet with Messi he retains his professional side, and that's a move I've already expected. Of course, he's in it for his job. But smiles don't lie, Tego! Who would recognize that 'ngiting tagumpay' (see first photo); none other than the fans yow xD

KINIKILIG SIYA EH. Just look at him, a happy blond cub beside the king lion Leo.

And this makes me think again how kitten Leya will prevent herself from fainting when she sees Neko Prince Yuya (please stop with these analogies, gurl. You make everyone's head spin like a disjointed clothespin *now you're using wrong analogies, genius. Clothespin is 'clothes pin' and it obviously does not spin--but pin! Mwahahaaaah tama na!*) :p

My painfully severe enjoyment of using metaphors is like the heaven moving away from the earth. :'( Alright then, let's just end this entry with a happy blond cub Tego once again.

The music video for 四銃士 (Yonjuushi) is a delectable treat andyet a disappointment.

In fact, you'll find a whole bunch of reasons why this PV is one of NEWS' best, but there's also something that kills it. 'Yonjuushi' means 'Four Musketeers'--you'll immediately think of the 1970s movie--an old story, its background even much older.

But the PV is quite modern; not futuristic, as I heard some fans say. It's something that, initially basing on the CM promotions, will get you really excited for we see that it's completely different from the other 2015 PVs (KAGUYA and Chumuchumu) which were very traditional. Yonjuushi is a fresh catch from NEWS' past concepts: soccer themes and retro references. And this modern look doesn't fail us, from the PV's setting to the plot, from the choreo to the props. It complements the song's Classic flair, as Yonjuushi's melody is derived from a Classical piece! (to be discussed on the music review IF i get to finish it)

Having a very interesting and enigmatic twist, I admit my expectations for the video shoot up to 200% prior to its release. I watched the teasers/promotions everyday, overly appreciating how this is a bomb and I'll definitely be head over heels when the full PV comes out. I revered too early.

In all fairness, Yonjuushi is aesthetically pleasing. The modernity highlights the boys' handsome faces--while they are truly handsome on a regular basis, Yonjuushi gives them a demigod edge.

The past PVs have a certain vibe of 'Reaching out'. Interacting with kids/people in the soccer songs, impressing the audience in Chankapaana, and seducing the princess and lovers in KAGUYA and Chumuchumu, the latest PV offers less togetherness. Ironically, the song says "One for all, all for one". Arrogant? No it's amazing. How the members' individuality shines here is pure gold. Take these scenes for example:

Tegoshi and being a... well, the star.

Massu and tastes. See the perfumes and clothes.

This is why Koyama's perfect body comes to life.

Remember Shige reading in WORLD QUEST PV? As expected from NEWS' resident smartass.

The PV does have a very nice execution. Unlike in Mr. White short film where the storyline was good but the execution was a meh, in here the visual appeal and sophistication is among the commendable in Johnny's. I can't say that NEWS attacked full force in Yonjuushi, although it's important to note that this is their first DVD single, meaning another milestone for the group. All in all, I still prefer NEWS' latest PV than the one before, and if not only for the puzzling plot (which is a major for me) I would give it a perfect score.

Rating: 3.5 ★ out of 5 ★Download the PV, available in three different formats, at koyashigedake community!

IT'S HIS BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wait, what should I say to get past this late-post-even-if-you-have-the-whole-month-of-November-celebrating awkwardness? *oh shaddap it's already Nov 12 no excuses you're late*

Let's see; I did a Tumblr post yesterday. Unlike most of my well-thought (or so I thought) birthday tributes, this one was probably my most candid Tego message... and so far the longest of my stupid ones too. I don't really show sweetness to my bias, BELIEVE ME. EITHER I'M A TSUNDERE, OR A CRITIC. I MAKE TEGOSHI APPRECIATION POSTS, YES; BUT THAT'S MOSTLY A PART OF MARKETING MY BIAS TO EVERYONE AND NOT OUT OF MY DELICATE HEART AND MUSHY FEELINGS EWWWWW

(A very poor edit since my fingers were trembling from the latte I just drank. caffeine intolerance?Ah well...)

Happy 28th birthdayTegoshi Yuya!TL;DR this is more of a ramblethan a greeting :p

I spent the midnight tearing up a little because my plans for your birthday was thwarted by RL chores and whatnot. During the ‘planning’ stage, I had at least three ideas; a theme for a write-up, a collection of quotes, and a photobook style post (because you said many times that you want a solo photobook). I asked friends if they’ll be available on the date; made a budget for buying cake. Thought of dyeing my hair pink for the occasion. Nah, It’s a normal fan behavior I guess, but to me it’s been my yearly tradition to make tribute/s for Tegoshi’s birthday AND IT NEVER FALTERED!!! So when I was obliged to RL I was swept away. Still feeling glum until now (palpitation I hate you), I made this halfhearted edit, but I want to make up for this with a message. Or a ramble. A childish love letter and all.

The time I became a fangirl I started consistently writing journals. From my scream when I first saw his face on the screen, to my anguish when NEWS lost RyoPi, to my redemption when the group came back as four, much of my feels were recorded. It was--in a very cliche tone “an emotional roller coaster” and a test of strength and faith, and a notebook of commentary, jokes, creativity, and wide-eyed appreciation for the fandom. The most prominent parts, of course, are the Tegoshi-biased moments. Beyond what’s written there are tooooooons of them. Tegoshittin’ like 100x a day. It’s a funny thing (whenever I become nostalgic I laugh more than cry for all the silliness), being a dedicated fangirl. How the feelings got bigger like a couple overcoming the seven-year itch LOOOOL, is even funnier. “How are you taking that guy seriously?” I wrote why it’s hard to be a Tegoshi fan last year. (and have started writing part two!). The point is, Tegoshi is indeed an idol. I realize that every day. It’s becoming obvious everyday. He’s becoming just a common celebrity everyday. His face is becoming a meh sight. The fanservice, very expected. But these things that make Tegoshi ordinary, he’s great at these. He’s great at being handsome, he’s great at saying sickly-sweet remarks, great at doing his idol job, great at making himself great.

And this is because of his innate, inborn strength. Determination. Competitiveness. He’s actually grounded, you see. Grounded of these values which steer him whatever direction he chooses to go. Or goals he wants to achieve. Gosh, every Tego fan probably have said it--Tegoshi is an epitome of strength. It shows from his physique to his personality to his accomplishments to his words and into our hearts huhuhu ;_; Okay I’m crying now, gotta post this birthday post because I hafta do RL stuff again. I’ll stand up from this chair thinking how Tegoshi is beautiful and has inspired me in a lot of ways and how I want to make a lot of birthday posts but the fact that I have limited time and uuuugh okay bye! This is such a mess. Happy birthday Tegoshi, and I wish the best of the best for the best of the best. ♥

Logging out. (Pardon the grammar mistakes I’m not beta-ing this)

*********************

I was quite surprised it didn't have many mistakes and I think I've fairly made the message across. ^-^Btw I was really crying when I typed the last sentences. 25% because of the mushy feelings It's very relieving that in spite of the midnight frustrations and afternoon palpitations I finished a thing! Tradition is hard to break; in this case, Tegoshi's birthday is the one date I've turned into a tradition. Crazy as it sounds, it is the day where I often transform into my ideal self. What have you done, Tego? Do you really have the magic?

There are many fan accounts/stories saying that their bias/es saved their lives. And some further claiming it's how a fan-idol relationships are supposed to be. Uh no.For me, Tegoshi isn't a life-saver. I do not credit him for the air that I breathe or the force that stops me from killing myself. He's simply a person I extemely like, my good (and bad) role model, my image of perfection, and the stronghold against my imperfections.

He helps me live, that I could say. He makes me alive, to be accurate. He also makes me want to help lives. He's my metaphorical teacher and my case studies at the same time. I'm a dreamer and he's my dream. He's a doer and I want him to do me(skip that! that's rated NC-17, keep away!!! ughh)

In short Tegoshi's this person I love so much that I can't afford to miss the tradition. I'm repeating myself too much, heh. Happy birthday, rainbow poop! ♥

Look at this wonderful piece of personality profile from Scorpio Quotes:

It's nailed to the ground, man! My groundbreaking man! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*TEKA KINIKILIG AKO*I shall finish this entry now. It's dinner time and I'm hungry! No Tego at the table because it's Nov 12 you're late you're late you're late :p

BYE~

P.S. I'm listening to 四銃士 on repeat and I want to get my thoughts over the song. (sign of a new review? I hope so!)

Unlike most of my reviews, I won't get into details here, and it is most likely that this post would not even reach half the length of my other reviews. The purpose of this review is not really for the sake of analysis; but for the ramblings, praises and rants I thought I should deliver before I move on to the main course (which is reviewing the tracks in the album). Um, you know that I'm veraciously critical on sounds than on visuals. xD

チュムチュム (Chumu Chumu) PV should have been one of NEWS' most remarkable PVs--if it wasn't for KAGUYA being released first, 5 months prior, with as colorful and sexy concept as in this new PV. But チュムチュム still has its stand-out points, and that should be the case for their first-ever Indian sound and theme.

The best thing in the PV is the dancing and choreography. We've seen fierce!NEWS especially at concerts but you don't have to be at a concert this time to notice how intricate the steps are, and the equivalent artistry NEWS applies to the dance steps.

Going to the theme, I guess we all have clues on how Indian concepts work, based on Bollywood movies to documentaries about Indian culture... Even just mentioning India you'd know it's about the exaggerations and exaggerations and exaggerations in exaggerating gobs. Why? They like to be fantastic. If we'd be to point one culture that's outrageous in everything, from the number of religious deities, to the everyday fashion style, there's no doubt (and no other options): India.

And so that's how I expected the PV to look like. Outrageous. Lots of random scenes, like flying carpets (I KNOW THAT'S ARABIAN BUT HECK I SAID RANDOM); a happy crowd of back-up dancers (think of Gangnam Style--I KNOW THAT'S KOREAN BUT HECK I SAID RANDOM); NEWS making weird faces in spite of the prevailing sexy concept; displays of Indian musical instruments just to know they are doing legit India; and most importantly, outdoor scenes. Yes, I hoped for a Bollywood movie-style PV.

Instead, I got a dance video of "Let's Zumba with NEWS while learning the basics of belly dancing from the back-up dancers".

This isn't to say that I totally despise the PV. NEWS is enough. No matter how bad a material is, it would always be good enough because we look at the idols more than we care about the background. Seeing their expressions, singing and dancing on camera is sufficient. Now, チュムチュム is even more special. Look at how it differs from KAGUYA even though both are sensual PVs. The other one is dramatic sexy and this is frolic sexy. Next to Koi no ABO, Chumu Chumu is NEWS' party PV. (But ah, we're not talking about a stray disco club in Japan here. We're in "India"!)

I quoted India because, the lack of Indian flavor for my critical taste does not hide the fact that visually, the video shouts no other but India. Musically and lyrically too. The members' faces tell us that they had a good time shooting the PV. Who wouldn't, if you have a very cool choreography covering three-fourths of your video? And who wouldn't, when you are an idol group that's given a chance to interpret themes like these?

I couldn't discuss the dance 'coz I'm uncomfy in that area (frustrated dancer here! orz). All I know is, the lots of jumping coupled with catchy footwork and sultry hand movements are some of the best I've seen from NEWS--in my opinion, this is one of NEWS' best dances--in my honest opinion, this is NEWS' best dance.

And in a dance PV like this, the one who naturally stands out is Massu.

In my Chumu Chumu (song) first impression post, I complained a little about Massu. Whereas in the PV, he's the outstanding one in my eyes. I'm guessing that it is because: A) The choreo excites him B) The costumes (he made) excite him C) His eyeliner excites him D) all of the above. Look closely. Massu is really, really fierce in this PV.

For the other members, I'll put it this way... While Massu shocks me with his fierceness, Koyama gives the adorably cute factor; like, he seriously looks the youngest! Shige is the gentlemanly one, the most fitting 'character' in the PV. If Chumu Chumu was a movie he prolly was the lead actor. Lastly, Tegoshi continues the Diva saga. As if you'd be surprised. xD

Overall, the PV would still have to grow more on me. But the dance is perfect, the costumes are pleasing, and NEWS is eya' hot!

Rating: ★★ for the PV

★★★★★ for NEWS' performance in the PV

For a fuller experience, download the PV and the single's tracks at darxina's journal!

Honestly, MR. WHITE is the first film/short film by a Johnny's group that I've watched so I have no point of comparison. But I can say that the short film could have more potential if the financial effort is done. The story is good (looking past the cliche part--there's a section for that later), the costumes are good, considering the story is cyber-themed and it involves kids; and NEWS' acting skills are quite polished already. The only major setback is the production, I think they got too cheap on that... Whereas a more costly production could make the film very satisfactory.

Why is this important? The majority of the filmviewers are NEWS fans, of course, and we can't really complain about this film because it's the first time the four of them did a thing like this, together. But the group has a lot more to showcase as actors, and the individual contributions (such as Shige's story-writing and Massu's costume-making) could've been maximized. There's much passion and hardwork in NEWS' part. Yet they get less than they deserve. The slacking is not to be blamed on them, really.

In one word, MR. WHITE is: Exciting. The transformation is not so apparent--even in that Ghostbusters-like suit and apparatus they're pretty much like themselves, only geared towards an entirely different mission. And that's what makes it exciting, the rescue mission that need no exaggerations (um, flying capes and extraordinary strength) which would make it absurd, in my opinion, if they used that instead.

The storyline is common. Shige might have had other ideas (vampires and such? LOL) but this was easy and probably less complicated to do. Actually, I like it, because of the Internet theme + children. It's a very good contrast to the recently released KAGUYA in which NEWS showed their sexiness and maturity against an age-old backdrop (a folklore). This time, it's very modern to somehow futuristic, and refreshing because of the costumes and the action scenes that show a new character to the group.

Still on the storyline, if it is typical, the overall plot is not. I very much appreciate the concept used--children are downloaded into the internet, for the purpose of extracting their imagination, using it as energy and foundation for building evil on the Internet. A mind-opening theme that stresses the importance of young people, and the capabilities of the modern technology. The existence of MR. WHITE and Team White, in my interpretation, are not to totally oppose this kind of technology but to take away its negative effects.

At first I have doubts on the costumes. When I watched the whole thing it eventually made sense; it fits the story and the song MR. WHITE itself. Still, I can't help but think of Ghostbusters... But aren't theyWeblack busters too? ★

MR. WHITE runs for approximately 20 minutes 30 seconds. Achieving this, it must've been hard to cram the scenes, and adding more goes beyond the question. It has an easy to understand plot, easy on the eyes cinematography, unforgettable costumes and a catchy theme song. To be frank, I see MR. WHITE as an unpolished experiment rather than a masterpiece. Though there's always room for improvement so I hope that NEWS will be given more projects like this because they can definitely do it.

The film's title is MR. WHITE, yet TEAM WHITE is better, don't you think? They went with the title of the theme song, that's forgivable. But Team White practically did the work to save the children. Like NEWS working hard for the love of us. We love you back, our superheroes. ♥

Belated happy birthday Koyama Keiichiro! As usual, late greetings (⊇Λ⊆) I also didn't post anything on Tumblr this time (I haven't had posts since... Feb? (IMISSTUMBLRSOMUCH). I made a quick status on Facebook but it wasn't proper to be even considered a birthday post.

But I won something in regards to his birthday! In sg_paanasKoyama-themed giveaway, I unexpectedly scored the prize. Unexpected because I was doubting then if I should join the giveaway knowing the contest is Koyama-centered; I thought I might affect Koyapaanas IN CASE i win. But nothing hurts in trying. And nothing hurts in winning! Haha, you should know. You're a Tegoshi fan :p Unexpectedly, again, it wasn't really Tegoshi who inspired my entry in the contest. It was definitely the birthday boy himself, Koyama Keiichiro.

Koyama must have a happy, eventful life, especially nowadays. His anticipated concert-on-his-birthdate finally came true. He won the hearts of fans all over again in his recent 10,000-character interview. NEWS is on the roll this 2015, and his baby niece is indeed a great blessing. I'm so happy for riida who said "I'm enveloped in a feeling of happiness so amazing I couldn't even describe..." And just like this post, which, in the next paragraphs will be about the joys of my fandom and RL state, might be overwhelming to read, hence I'm prepping to make it coherent. Good luck 'bout that. LOL xD

I'll end this post with my latest cover photo in FB. An edited biased screencap from one of Tegomass no Seishun DVD promotions! Who isn't exciteeeed, we'll finally watch them again after three years. To be honest I have very high expectations from this con because their 3rd tour, Tegomass no Mahou is my undisputed fave NEWS/Tegomass concert. I think you already know that, oh well. I don't expect TMnS to excede TMnM but at least I want to get a similar feeling from both of these cons.

EVERY NOVEMBER 11TH OF THE YEAR I MAKE A BLOG POST FOR TEGOSHI--WHY I LOVE THIS PERSON, WHAT'S SO AWESOME ABOUT HIM, WHAT ARE THE THINGS THAT REMIND ME OF HIM. ♫ FOR HIS 27TH BIRTHDAY, I'M ALREADY OUT OF IDEAS (LOL) BUT I CAME UP WITH A LIST OF REASONS WHY IT'S HARD TO BE A TEGOSHI FAN!

( ^ sorry for the all caps wahahahaha. Did you know that I have fever while typing this? But let's get this posted, for the love of Tego!)

Squeal-inducing fanservice, calling us his girlfriends, doing his best in everything, and calling himself a perfect idol, plus the fact that he's extremely good looking and a pro at singing, are the reasons why we just can't get enough of Tegoshi. But life with him as our bias isn't only about boldness when he blasts on the stage or pride when he accomplishes a project in ItteQ. It's nerve-wrecking too, worrisome, and definitely hard at times. Common reasons?

Had I known this ahead of time, I would've kidnapped him. Of course I'm kidding. (Oops. Aren't jokes half-meant? xD)

(Above photo: Tegoshi, "PO", and the scenic Manila Bay)

A year ago, me and another Tego-biased friend, Ria, were rambling and ranting wildly about Tegoshi and how he already circled the countries around ours except for ours. We were frustrated, thinking that he should come here because we have a list (a funny list of reasons, from the things he could do to the tourist spots to the band of waiting, emotion-driven Tego-paanas like us!). I also thought that if he couldn't come here any sooner, then he wouldn't come here ever. I may sound like a pessimist but I was just realistic. Hello, Philippines is just one time zone away from Japan! Why can't he notice??? *this is shallow, I know it's entirely not his fault.* Despite the ranting I was just as hopeful as any international fan.

In the months that follow I loaded my imagination with Tego visiting Philippines, maybe for ItteQ or for a short vacation or maybe not just him--but all of NEWS--holding a little concert slash fan event. The first option, ItteQ, was the most reasonable. Though ItteQ went to Baguio (a Philippine city) years ago without him there's still a big possibility of filming an Entertainer Tegoshi segment here!! In fact, among all Johnny's talents, it is Tego who has the biggest chance of going to our country which is apparently "unknown" to Johnny's... Thank God for ItteQ. The pessimist/realist-turned-optimist/still realist me started to look forward, creating the line I never thought I'd diligently say to my self everyday: Pupunta sya rito. Kahit di ko na sya makita, ang importante pupunta sya rito. (He will come here. Even if I don't see him personally, what's important is he will come here.)

Indeed, he came. And indeed, I didn't see him personally.

It was harder than I thought. Filipino fans share the same sentiment--he came and he left, without the most of us knowing. I only got teary-eyed when the preview came out; the others cried hard! Nevertheless we were anxious to watch the full episode which was aired a week after.

He learned the Philippine Bamboo dance, the Tinikling. Ria and I guessed right--we thought Tinikling would be the first, if not the perfect thing he could learn here if ever. Days before the airing, our anticipation grew so as our questions. When did he come? Where did he stay? Did anyone see him? And the desperate question: WILL HE COME BACK?

The Filipinos are naturally close-knitted. This could be seen in social networking sites (a country so small as Philippines belongs to the top 10 or top 15 countries with most users); naturally, the Filipino fans are close-knitted too. Within a day or two, everyone in the fandom, and even the people from other fandoms, were informed of the news. A day or two before the airing, more proof came such as the fan who works at the hotel where he stayed, and the tear-jerking accounts of the dancers he worked with. One said, "He's such a lovable person! Very humble."

Oh Tego, How I strongly hope to see you someday. ;_;

Despite the celebration, there's still the bashing. The skeptics who wouldn't believe (they were, before the full ep. was aired), the cynics who said Tego might have been circling the country but the fans were scarce so one spotted him, and the haters who said Tegoshi doesn't deserve the attention. A friend told me all about this, frustrated, yet we ended up laughing. "Whatever they say! We're the lucky ones!"

Lucky is an understatement. I feel so blessed. I'm sure every Filipino fan feels the same.

Even though it was only a 20-30 minute segment and we actually expected a lot more (e.g. going to Boracay--our world-famous white sand beach!), Tegoshi doing poses at the Manila Bay, learning a Filipino dance from Filipino dancers and saying "Sankyuu PO!" (Po is a Filipino word used for respect *its equivalent in Japanese is ございます*), are definitely reasons to be proud of being a Filipino koneko-chan.

Because I was inspired by this. Ah, no, it's because I've been wanting to post album reviews of my favorite artists' songs, and for a scatterbrain like me it was nearly impossible to do that... But now I have inspirationsssss (Yes, emphasis on the s), and I've formulated a draft nights ago~ So here we go! ♪♫

Tegomass' youth... These two are adults already, not just literally, but by the experience they have as singers, and it somehow showed in this album. Why 'somehow'? Because as the title implies, it is about Tegomass' youth. The tracks, analyze it or not, gives this 'childhood' feeling, like Tegomass is going back to the basics all over again. I'm not saying they hadn't matured enough; in fact, I could not imagine the songs from this album sung/released in earlier years. In other words Tegomass no Seishun (TMnS) is a perfect merge of maturity and youthful vigor in one.

Compared to the previous albums, TMnS is like Tegomass no Mahou who strictly adheres to its theme. Tegomass no Uta is a mix of different styles that you wouldn't really know what is the prevailing theme (if there is any, as uta means 'song' and they must've really experimented a lot in this one). Tegomass no Ai is a mini-album, which means only a few songs to analyze, and so it give a slight impression of what the theme is supposedly about. Meanwhile, Tegomass no Mahou is relevant. You can really hear the 'magic' the album wants you to hear. And TMnS is basically the same. To stick to the theme, I think it's a good thing!

So... How were the songs arranged and executed? How is the 'youth' factor shown?

01Aoiro Juvenile (Soshoku Juvenile)The first song in the album is a feel-good song that obviously pertains to youth; thus the light melody. It starts with an acoustic guitar solo and then the bass and other instruments throwing in good measures. The melody was like a faster bossa nova (percussion is a winner!) with a touch of festivity. I can imagine banners or flaglets swayed by the wind~ children running~ and well, Tegomass (LOL). After a trumpet blow came in Tegoshi's voice. Massu wasn't there until the second stanza, and the usual harmonization happened, essentially throughout the song. No falsettos nor belting, as it really is light. At some part in the chorus I remembered Marui Chikara but that's just because of the first few notes in that part. Otherwise, Aoiro Juvenile is simply feel-good.

02 HarumekiThis I think has resemblance to TMnM's Yuuyake to Koi to Jitensha. But this has prominent strings (violins, etc) while Yuuyake has prominent electric guitar sound. Don't get me wrong, Harumeki has guitars too but comparing to Yuuyake, the guitar's prominence is relatively low. They have same key signatures (E♭ major), piano ornaments, and aggressive attack by Tegomass in every line. This is an upbeat, energetic song, telling the signs of spring. Oh, so the perfect song for Aries zodiac sign!

After a week of non-stop listening to these songs I've come up with a ranking!Except for Sayonara ni Sayonara and Neko Chuudoku, here is my ranking, in ascending order (12 to 1)

#12 Shounen ~Re:Story~#11 Tsuki no Tomodachi#10 Itsuka no Machi

#9 innocence#8 Aoiro Juvenile#7 Hikari#6 Time Machine#5 Harumeki

#4 Iro Azayakana Kimi ga Egaku Asu no e#3 Kireigoto#2 Fantajia

#1 DONUTS

It's no surprise that two of the tracks that sound like coming from Tegomass no Mahou (Fantajia and Harumeki) are included in my top 5. I love the mahou feel, fyi. ♪ As for DONUTS and Iro Azayakana Kimi ga Egaku Asu no e, they both make me high and even happily delusional! With DONUTS, I'm in a musical. In Iro Azayakana, I'm at a farm. Kireigoto is just fantastic, it's just ♥!! and Tegoshi's voice is so heavenly~

Album rating: ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪/ four lovely eighth notes out of 5!

Download the album (including the PV and the making in one!) go to rockthecliche, track-by-track download is at finay, and if you just want to listen go here@ addictdesu. For the lyrics and translations, go toaitamashii :)

It's November 11, the most-celebrated day in my calendar. Not wondering why. XD It's my cosmic bias' (yeah I love to use the term cosmic because it's just another term for "universal", and it sounds magical and mystical; I love it!) birthday, and also the birthday of other notable people I know. (Did you know Vice President Binay is also celebrating today? Also the great Leonardo DiCaprio, Demi Moore, etc. A good friend, Jhaipachawai, a clanmate, Keikobe, and yeaaaah a ton of people are having their birthday parties today! In short Andami mong kasama Tego! Hindi lang ikaw ang sine-celebrate ko!! Pero dahil biased ako o sige aaminin ko na ikaw lang sine-celebrate ko!!!! Wahahaha *mapanlokong tawa*)

^ OMG What is hyper. :p

On a serious note, I would like to rant on how much I prepared for this day but in the end I ended up doing nothing. No, I did something, a quite decent one I guess, but still not enough for my fussy tastes.

The memories were relieved and haunted me again... At first it was a bad thing; recalling every detail made me cry hard (and even contributed to my fever last Saturday ><), but Sunday night came and as with the details clearer than ever, those details made me reflect on the deeper impact of the news, its overall impact in the fandom and in my life as a fangirl.

Before October 7, 2011

Ignorance

I had no idea. I had no idea about the initial rumors of Yamapi leaving, no idea about Yamapi's promise to fans. I also had very little idea about Yamapi or Ryo's feelings toward NEWS, and finally, I had scarce idea about NEWS' relationship as a whole.

All I knew was they weren't releasing something, and all I did was wait.

Why? That time, I was a blind fan. I knew nothing but the songs, the PVs, the concerts and the guestings; the members, their personalities, their appearances. I didn't care much about NEWS' relationship with each other, all I cared for was "NEWS looks perfect". Yes they looked perfect, but were they perfect? I didn't notice the awkwardness among the members. I didn't notice that there were times Ryo or Pi was nowhere to be found because they had other commitments--I didn't notice all of that--except for Soukon, of course, it was quite obvious that the Soukon team had no RyoPi in it. But I didn't care. Because I was a blind fan.

So during the months that they were inactive, I was just waiting. Patiently waiting.

During October 7, 2011

Devastation

A pretty normal day. In the afternoon, I quit one of my text clans because I wanted to take a break from texting. Along with me another member quit too, and we were laughing at that instance. When evening came, I randomly watched Pacific concert. I noticed I was giving unusual compliments on Pi, 'unusual' because I never talked about Pi this way:

"Pi has a wonderful smile! He smiles like this when he's with NEWS, I can see that he's really happy in the group."

After a couple of hours I received a text from kyaaaAri (Ariel) delivering the news about RyoPi's withdrawal.

"kyaaaAkuma... umalis na ang RyoPi sa NEWS."

It was all so sudden. I did not believe her at first, but after exchanging a few more texts I learned that she was serious (and that was when I also learned that Yamapi had a promise to fans), I started crying. I can't describe how much tears I've shed that night. I cried for hours, my family were already asleep so I went to the balcony of our house and continued crying there. Muttering things, flipping chairs and tables, shouting and cursing (I didn't use swear words tho), looking at the cloudy sky, praying, humming, singing... All my anger for RyoPi, all my worries for the remaining four.

This is what I wrote in my diary:

Really. From 9 to 4? So absurd. So frustrating. So disappointing.

I love the Soukon team. But it’s not the NEWS that I don’t want to break.

I’m having a breakdown.

I’m crying a liter of tears. 1 liter of Tears—Ryo?

Ryo left NEWS right? And Pi, who promised he’ll never do. ><

Lamenting with me is the stupid rain. Reminds me of Taiyou no Namida. Your single. Your NUMBER 1 single. One of your NUMBER 1 singles. And boy, ALL your singles are NUMBER 1!

ARE YOU BLIND??? ARE YOU NOT CONTENTED???

Now I want to go to Japan and slap RyoPi’s faces. Those faces. The faces of NEWS. Now they’re out of NEWS. Damn.

I AM DREAMING OF YOU COMING BACK. *sobs*

--

I almost lose my faith. It wasn't clarified to me that NEWS will still continue as a four-member group... I thought they were disbanding.So when I wrote the entry, there was a lot more hate (This was the edited version, and the original, ALL-HATE-ALL-CAPS entry was already in the trash bin. Now I'm regretting throwing it away 'coz I wanna know my exact initial words that could've ornamented this post! :p)

Meanwhile, a surge of hope in spite of the bitterness made me add this in the diary entry:

Koyama loves NEWS so much. He will be a great leader, loving NEWS greater each day.

Tegoshi’s home is NEWS. He started here, and until the end he will remain faithful here.

Shige is smart enough to know that NEWS needs him. He will guide NEWS throughout the story.

Massu smiles because of NEWS. He will continue supporting and showing his cheerful smile even more.

( ^ If you noticed there are 16 words per sentence. It was supposed to be poem-like, and besides, 4 x 4 = 16.)

Then I also wrote my new NEWS ranking:

-Tego-Keii-Masu-Kato

I commented below the entry, "kelangan talaga 4 letters?" Obviously, I was exaggerating the essence of the new NEWS: Four. 4-nin.

By the way, throughout the setting I was only singing one song.Fly Again. ♪

After October 7, 2011

Promise

After that painful day I promised to NEWS that I'll love them even more (hey, they stayed! And the fact that Tegoshi's still there... ♥)I somehow didn't fulfill that promise during the latter part of 2011 and early 2012 because I got into other fandoms (temptations are everywhere orz). But I knew in my heart that my support for NEWS got stronger.

Also, it was after a few months that I had the courage to read articles regarding RyoPi's withdrawal. And the good news? I wasn't blind anymore, the fans' comments and NEWS' own comments opened my eyes. I now know that what happened paved the way for a happier, healthier NEWS. And if before I thought of 6-nin as the perfect NEWS? Well.... 4-nin is not perfect, but they're definitely the best.

Many things happened I can't sum it up here... It's been two years, wow. But what's more amusing, it's been 10 years since NEWS was formed. The past two years was only a part of a much more larger and dramatic history.

Cheers to the group and the fanbase. Happy 2nd anniversary 4-nin NEWS.