Thursday, December 15, 2016

The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein

www.allenklein.com

DECEMBER 2016

JOKE OF THE MONTH:
Maryann was told that the women in her family were able to walk on water on their 25th birthdays. It didn't seem possible, but her mother told her it was indeed true. So on her 25th birthday, Maryann takes a boat out to the lake, steps out of the boat and sinks. Back home again, she confronts her mother. "You told me that every women in our family could walk on water when they turned 25.

"It's true," says her mother.

"But when I just tried it, I almost drowned!"

"That's because your sisters and I were all born in December. You were born in July."

STUDENT REPLIES OF THE MONTH:Q: What is the opposite of main?A: New Hampshire- Amy Rebecca Butters

Q: Who was Joan of Arc?A: She was Noah's wife.- Jennifer Evans Pfohl

Q: What percentage of the European population died following the outbreak of the plague?A: One hundred percent, eventually.- Kim McCollum

HOLIDAY QUOTATION OF THE MONTH:
"There is nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child."- Erma Bombeck HAPPY HOLIDAYS

GIFTS OF THE MONTH:
Check out these books, ebooks and audiobooks on Amazon.com- The Art of Living Joyfully- Words of Love: Quotations from the Heart- You Can't Ruin My Day- Inspiration for a Lifetime- Change Your Life: A Little Book of Big Ideas

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein

www.allenklein.com

NOVEMBER 2016

MEDICAL ADVICE OF THE MONTH:"I finally have a dental plan. I chew on the other side." —Janine DiTullio

MARRIAGE ADVICE OF THE MONTH:"Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are." —attributed to Will FerrellHOLIDAY ADVICE OF THE MONTH:One Thanksgiving a woman wanted to impress her friends with an elaborate dinner. She cooked all day and hired someone to help serve the meal. All went well until the main course. As the hired help was bringing in the turkey, the kitchen door hit them from behind and the turkey flew across the floor. The woman froze, regained her composure, then commanded, "Dear, don't just stand there. Pick up the turkey, go in the kitchen, and get the other one!"

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

We see everything through our own
eyes. We are the ones who give a meaning to everything. Therefore, how you
interpret a situation may be very different than the way someone else sees the
same situation.

Being stuck in traffic, for example,
may be an unpleasant experience for someone who will be late for an important
meeting or, on the other hand, a godsend for someone who didn’t want to go to
that meeting anyhow.

So no matter how upset you may feel
about the election process or the candidates, you can reframe that. To do so,
ask yourself one or more of these questions.

-
Does getting upset/angry serve me?-
Does my being upset/angry bring me more or less joy intomy life-
What can I learn from my being upset/anger?

2- LEARN TO FORGIVE

One powerful way to counteract the anger
you maybe having toward the candidates is through forgiveness. They are doing a
tough job…a job that probably most of us would not want. They are doing the
best the can under some very difficult circumstances. They are being criticized
for their beliefs and for things they may, or may not, have done in the past.

Getting angry at the election
process or what the candidates are claiming is only adding negativity to the
situation. If you strongly believe in one candidate or what they stand for, or
if you don’t like the choices, don’t get angry. Instead, forgive the system and
the candidates…get out and work to change that…and vote for what you want.

And remember what Wayne Dyer, the
author and self-help advocate once said, “In the scheme of things, what you do
and whether you are angry or not will have all the impact of another glass of
water being thrown over Niagara Falls. Whether you choose laughter or anger
will not matter much—except that the former will fill your present moments with
happiness, and the latter will waste them in misery.”

3- GIVE UP BEING
RIGHT

Insisting that you are right, even if
you are, will only cause you more confrontation and more stress. To ease that,
you only need to ask yourself one question when right-or-wrong encounters
arise.

That
simple but profound question comes from the book A
Course in Miracle. Ask yourself:“Do
I want to be right or do I want to be happy?” Which one you choose, right
or happy, will set the tone for what kind of day you will have.

And finally, to counteract the upsets
you may be having around the election, whenever you are feeling upset take the
“You-Can’t-Ruin-My-Day” pledge. Raise your right hand and say out loud:

Saturday, October 15, 2016

The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein

www.allenklein.com

OCTOBER 2016

QUESTION OF THE MONTH:
Q: How many Apple vice presidents does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: That's proprietary information. The answer is available from Apple on payment of a license fee.

QUOTATIONS OF THE MONTH:
"I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was
not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: no good in a bed,
but fine up against a wall." —Eleanor Roosevelt

"Makeup can only make you look pretty on the outside, but it doesn't
help if you're ugly on the inside. Unless you eat the makeup."
—attributed to Audrey Hepburn

"I don't believe in reincarnation, and I didn't believe it when I was a hamster." —Shane Richie
TEDx TALK OF THE MONTH:
(Not so funny but very inspiring. I should know, I gave it.)

Friday, August 5, 2016

A colleague of mine from Australia posted the following on Facebook. It brought tears to my eyes because as a writer I never know how my words will change other people's lives.

Today I supported a friend as she said goodbye to her family home for the final time. Her mother passed away 8 months ago, the house was sold, the contents disposed of, settlement is at 1pm today. I stood back as my friend said goodbye to each room, together we made carpet angels (like snow angels but on the carpet) and touched taps and other fittings for the final time. There was a book on the floor in the master bedroom. I moved to pick it up and my friend said "No, leave it for now, Mr Klein must be the last to leave". I gave her my confused look, my friend said the author's name is Klein.

She told me how her father died 14 years ago and at the funeral someone had given her mother the book, it's titled "The Change Your Life Quote Book" (now re-titled "Change Your Life" A Little Book of Big Ideas"). She told me how it lived on her mother's bed side table and every morning her mother would pick it up and read a quote for the day. She would say "Good morning Col" her husband, and "Thank you Mr Klein" and at night another quote and "Thank you Mr Klein, Goodnight Col".

She said her mother never let the book leave the room, it lived on her bedside table. When it was time to leave the house there was one more goodbye to each room and then 'Mr Klein' was collected but before my friend left the master bedroom she said "Dad, it's time to go, but you know that, look after mum". And then she looked at the book, opened it to a random page and read this quote "I live by this credo, have a little laugh and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations. Even in your darkest moment, you usually can find something to laugh about if you try hard enough," Red Skelton. Then she closed the book and said "Thank you Mr Klein, you always know the perfect saying".

We raided the garden one last time, not a bloom was left and then when we got to the car my friend handed me the book. It was only then that I saw that the author was Allen Klein, of San Francisco! I started the next sentence to my friend with the words "You are so not going to believe this......... I told her about you, about your connection with laughter and joy, our connection through AATH (Association of Applied & Therapeutic Humor) and AATH's conference at the Red Skelton centre, the author of the very quote she read and many many more connections, on and on.......

I did wonder if it was the same Allen Klein and then I saw this quote "As long as I have food and remote control, I'm happy" Margie Klein (author's mother).

At this moment I am the holder of the book. It will sit on my bookshelf until my friend is ready to have it back, so, as has been said twice a day for the past 14 years or so, or around 10,000 times or more - thank you Mr Klein!!