Ru-minations: Keeping It In The Family

If Roxxxy is really your bestie, how come we never see her on your Instagram, Detox?

“Rolaskatox isn’t in effect,” they said. “This is a new season,” they said. “It’s every queen for herself,” they said.

Bitch then why the flaming fuck is Roxxxy Andrews still on RuPaul’s Drag Race All-Stars Season 2?

*Sips tea. Adjusts weave. Collects self.*

Let’s fill in some of the details from this week’s jaw-dropper of an episode.

The queens entered the workroom after Alaska eliminated Tatianna last week, choosing to save Roxxxy from going home. For the third time in a row. “Thank you for saving me again,” says Roxxxy to Alaska. “I know it appears there’s some sort of Rolaskatox blood oath pact, but it’s really not like that,” Alaska tells the camera in her confessional. “Is it really fair to let someone advance who hasn’t been here the whole time?” she says, justifying her choice to eliminate Tati last week instead of Roxxxy.

But Katya reveals that had she won last week’s lip sync against Alaska, she would have sent Roxxxy packing. “When I talked to Tatianna, there was a fire,” she said. “I want to see more of that.” Roxxxy replied, “I want you to know that I do have drive.”

Alaska, who has won 4 of 6 lip syncs so far this season, was sitting pretty in her confessional. “I would want to get me out of the way if I was up against me. Luckily I am me. Sorryboutit.”

Keep Your Sisters Close

Heather relished in the joy of finally smacking her brother in the face.

This week was a chance for a fresh start, and as the Top 5, the pressure was high for the queens to showcase all they’ve got.

Ru entered the workroom and mentioned a common term in the queer community: family of choice. “As gay people, we get to choose our families,” she told the girls. “Sometimes the families we grow up with don’t understand us.” And then, she brought in a member of each contestant’s birth family!

Alyssa’s sister Tabatha entered, followed by Alaska’s mom Pam. When Detox’s sister Heather joined the fray, Detox became very emotional. “Just last week, it was the [second] anniversary of my father’s passing. To have my best friend here, it’s like a godsend.”

Then entered your favorite and mine, Pat, Katya’s mother. “My mom,” Katya laughed to the cameras. “I hate that fucking cunt.” And lastly, in came Sonya, Roxxxy’s grandmother who raised her after Roxxxy’s mother abandoned her.

This week’s Maxi Challenge? Transform your respective sister/mom/grandma into a bio queen member of your royal drag family!

Some Herstory

There’s no joke here. This one’s just sad.

Having their family members with them on this high-stress filming experience was an unexpected jolt for the queens this week.

In addition to Detox and Heather grieving their deceased father, we learned Alyssa’s mother also passed away, but exactly one year before filming this episode. She and her sister became choked up and wept. “The day that they closed my mother’s casket, I just shut down,” Alyssa divulged in her confessional. “I threw myself into work. I felt that if I didn’t see my family, or if I shut them out, I didn’t have to face the reality of losing my mother. And now seeing Tabatha, I have to face it. I’m feeling guilty because I don’t feel like I’ve been a good big brother, because I should have been there for my family.”

Roxxxy of course had her own incredibly emotional story behind her grandmother’s visit. In Drag Race Season 5, Roxxxy told the judges that her mother abandoned her at a bus stop. It was her grandmother who raised her and supported her thereafter. “This is the only mom I’ve known,” she said this week.

Alaska’s bond with her mother was what anyone would expect from Alaska: quirky, funny, and a little uncomfortable. “When I first started doing drag, my mom was worried I was a cross-dressing prostitute who was doing drugs and getting into trouble. Which I was.” But her mom said it made her happy to see her on All-Stars, having overcome drug abuse after filming Season 5 years ago.

Clearly Katya takes after her mother, because Pat is fucking hilarious.

And Pat. Oh PAT! Katya’s mom is an absolute doll. As Ru walked around the workroom consulting each of the (make-believe) gals and their (actual) gals, she chatted with Pat, who was trying on a wavy white wig. “That lace front looks like it’s coming out of your head!” said Ru. Quoth Pat: “It isn’t?!”

Pat then told Ru she was proud of Katya for getting her bearings while struggling with anxiety on Season 7, and thanked Ru for counseling her son. And when Ru points out that Katya is the only queen NOT from Season 5 left, she asks if Katya thinks Rolaskatox is targeting her. We don’t see Katya’s full answer filmed, but girl. GIRL. We know what’s up.

As Ru leaves the workroom, she tells the queens there’s one more thing they must prepare for the next day’s festivities: a family duo vogue performance!

Eyebrows for Days

The moment when you realize you were wrong when you thought you’d never miss Jeffrey Moran.

As part of their super special treat his week, these professional makeup artists who make their living painting their faces and are competing on the Olympics of Drag got a cute little tutorial about how to fill in eyebrows. THANK GOD Anastasia Soare of Anastasia Beverly Hills Cosmetics was there to provide product placement and teach them the ins and outs of their profession!

*Sips tea. Cocks well-manicured eyebrow. Collects self.*

It was runway day for the queens, and as they prepared in the workroom, Alyssa and sister Tabby broke down. It was the first anniversary of their mom’s death.

Detox and sister Heather were also emotional, discussing the anniversary of their dad’s passing just one week prior. “At the time, we didn’t have the best relationship,” Detox said of her father. “He was not very easy to share his feelings,” admitted Heather. And Detox said, “I was in Orlando, working at Pulse, just bawling because my daddy wasn’t there.”

Now, this comment seemed glossed over as the show aired this week. One might think this would get more focus after the tragic domestic terror attack in the Pulse nightclub this past June. But Detox isn’t referring to that massacre, because All-Stars Season 2 was filmed in summer of 2015, a year before the shooting. This was, however, an ominous conversation that the queens had without realizing that one year later, another heartbreak would occur.

Don’t Just Stand There, Let’s Get To It

One of the many heartwarming moments we got to share this week.

After so much emotional turmoil this episode, Ru ushered in the levity and celebratory spirit that drag itself brings to the queer community. She took the stage in a full-length tiered gown of sparkling silver. As usual, judges Michelle Visage, Carson Kressley, and Todrick Hall graced the panel. And this week’s guest judge was the deadpan comedy genius Aubrey Plaza herself! “This the best day of my life,” Aubrey told Ru. “I’m killing myself tomorrow.”

Perhaps a bit too soon after all the death talk this week, but still. Hilarious.

First up were the vogue performances! Alyssa was joined by Tabatha’s drag persona, “Ava Edwards,” and together they posed and twirled in perfect sync.

Alaska and her mom’s drag character “Hawaii” were next, and they delivered all the horsehead-wearing tomfoolery you would expect from the Thunderfuck family, though Alaska did put her mom in flip flop sandals. And Detox slayed her vogue while sister “D-Rama” kept up.

See? Pat=Fucking Hilarious

Katya and Pat’s character “Svetlana Borisvina” were a couple of cheap East Bloc bombshells on that catwalk, and Roxxxy’s GRANDMOTHER “Raquel” was a total babe while dancing.

Then it was time for the actual runway looks:

Alyssa and Ava gave black and red fashion. Alyssa’s outfit was certainly not her strongest of the season, and the hodgepodge ensemble she put Ava in was even worse. Not a winner this week.

Alaska and Hawaii came out in alternating black and white gowns, feather boas, and big brims hats. Classic if not a bit basic, but rescued with another flag gimmick: this time a huge sign that said Alaska’s famous catchphrase, “HIIIEEE.”

Detox and D-Rama served neon blue and green body for the GODS and your wet dreams will never be the same.

Katya and Svetlana delivered brilliant thriftstore couture, with Katya in a full-length 70s striped mermaid dress plus a Purdey pageboy wig, and mom in an embroidered peasant dress with a makeshift soviet sickle. We wish we were this cool.

Roxxxy and Raquel took it home in black and leopard, with Grandma in a full-length belted leopard gown and Roxxxy in a shimmering black catsuit plus leopard gloves.

You Tell Them

Resting bitch face obvi runs in the family.

After the vogue performance and runway show, it was time for the judges’ feedback. Alyssa and Ava were praised by the judges for their performance and (quite surprisingly) their runway looks. “I felt like it was a weird ‘birds of death’ nightmare that I never wanted to end,” Aubrey said of their choreo.

And as usual, the judges gave Alaska rave reviews… at first. Todrick said, “I thought the performance was really fun.” But Michelle critiqued their outfits harshly. “You let your mom come on the stage in flip flops,” she said, after calling their matching runway outfits too simple.

Detox and D-Rama were a hit with the judges, as were Katya and Svetlana. Michelle added with Katya, “I will say—sidebar—your mother completely stole the show.” (Pat is clearly the true winner this week.) Roxxxy and Raquel Andrews received mildly positive feedback from the panel, and Todrick closed it by telling Roxxxy’s grandmother that she looked sexy.

After such a broad array of outfits and performances this week, Ru had a hard job determining the top and bottom queens from the challenge. In the end, she rightfully chose Detox and Katya as the victors!

This left Alaska, Alyssa, and Roxxxy up for potential elimination.

Decisions, Decisions

Alaska finally snapped when she discovered that Pat filled her clothes rack with wire hangers.

The queens were excused backstage so that Detox and Katya could deliberate who they would send home in the event of their lip sync victory. Both have lip synced for their legacies before, but neither had won because Alaska kept beating them out.

You’d think Alaska would be cool as a cucumber then, having performed so well all season. But in an unsightly display of whining and self-defeat, Alaska spiraled downward backstage. “I didn’t do great this challenge. I got really horrible critiques,” she said. “I’ve tried to stay really strong and not show any signs of weakness. And now I’m not able to hide it. I feel it crashing down all around me.”

Alyssa pointed out that it’s her second time in the bottom, it’s Alaska’s first, and it’s Roxxxy’s fifth. (FIFTH!) But Detox mentions in her confessional that she has known Roxxxy for 13 years—how can she send one of her best friends home?

Cut to Alaska’s Downward Spiral Stage 2: “I really want to stay, and I think I deserve to stay,” she told Katya in a monotone voice. At the end of the awkward exchange, Katya gave a non-committal response with Adore Delano’s famous line: “Party.”

Cue Alaska’s Downward Spiral Stage 3: raising her voice backstage, removing her wig, and BRIBING her competitors with PayPal cash to keep her in the competition. “I’ll give you 10,000 dollars to get you to keep me. Before taxes.” This was a joke—maybe—but it can’t just be blamed on editing this time; Alaska was showing us that when she’s not comfortably at the top, she’s an anxious brat.

Katya and Detox chose the lipstick tubes to indicate who would go home should they win. Detox changed into a black gown with a tall white wig while Katya remained in her bohemian 70s garb, and the two prepared to lip sync for their legacies.

Step It Up

Detox proves she’s still in it to win it with these nalgas.

The two competed to the song “Step It Up” by RuPaul herself, and while Katya was hilarious and magnetic, Detox stole the show by removing her jacket to reveal a peep-slit for her silicone ass. Detox was of course named the winner, and it was time for her to decide who to save and who to chop.

Now, the tune this entire season has been, “Don’t worry everyone, Rolaskatox isn’t in effect.” Thus we would expect Roxxxy to go home since she has been falling to the bottom of the garbage bin every damn week. Or, in an upset, one would expect Detox to send her greatest competition home: Alaska. But instead, Detox chose the queen who seemed to get the least amount of critical feedback from the judges tonight, and had only been in the bottom twice this season.

“I chose Alyssa,” she sobbed. The judges couldn’t hide their shock, and viewers couldn’t stop yelling at our screens, because Alyssa absolutely deserved to make the top 4 this season while Roxxxy deserved to go.

The lesson? You can ride Alaska’s comet tail this entire season until her shooting star burns out, then Detox will pick up where she left off. Just lend a bitch your shirt or offer $10k, and you too can be Top 3!

*Sips vodka. Smashes glass with bare hand. Collects self.*

Kids, social media is already blowing up. What did you think of this elimination? Let us know in the comments below or on our social pages, and tune in for next week’s All-Stars when we find out who this year’s Top 3 will be! We’ll be here afterward with an all new Ru-minations for your tea-sipping pleasure.

About The Author

Ryan Crawford is an online content marketer, social media manager, and whisky fan. As a Northwest native, he’s a devoted activist and an environmentally-conscious sexpot. You can find more of his writing at Seattle Gay Scene, Gay City Anthologies 3-5, Arcana: the Tarot Poetry Anthology, and in several corporate publications..