Remembering David Applebaum

I'm reeling from the pain and the emptiness. Something feels wrenched out of my chest.

by Dr. Joe Djemal

In 1988, I first met Dr. David Applebaum, who was murdered in last week's Hillel Cafe bombing, along with his daughter, Nava, the night before her wedding. I met David at a party celebrating the birth of a future neighbor's child. My family had not moved in yet, having arrived in Israel a few months earlier. At that time our nuclear family consisted of my wife Karen and son Zaki. On hearing that Karen and I were both practicing family doctors, David started outlining his vision of urgent care centers. Although I could not figure him out, his vision was infectious. I knew I liked him.

The following year, with Karen somewhat concerned about the investment required -- both financially and the long hours involved -- we joined David's fledgling private emergency clinic, Terem. We were then six partners.

In those days I would work three evenings a week till midnight (or later), speaking, breathing and living Terem. I would confer with David at least five times a day. I would wake up remembering what I didn't tell him late the night before. I admired him so much. I could not comprehend how one person could do so much.

His family, too, was an inspiration, a model of education and strength. David was, in many ways, a role model for me -- an inspiring combination of cutting edge medicine, thrilling entrepreneurialism, commitment to Jewish observance, doer of good deeds, and a lover of the Land of Israel.

As Terem grew, the responsibility grew. As usual, David remained calm throughout, always finding time to speak and solve problems, many of which were of a personal nature. The more the demands on him grew, the more energy he would find. Some two years ago a young child became ill with leukemia and David spent hours everyday for many months helping with chemotherapy, and not least providing emotional support to the young parents.

There were a myriad of similar situations in which David became very involved. He would not accept defeat at any stage and invariably gave more strength, refusing to be disheartened. The medical outcomes were undoubtedly better than could be expected without his interventions. The human outcomes were of trust, hope and confidence -- despite desperate realities.

The day after the funeral I was working in my clinic in Maale Adumim and was surprised when, in the middle of a consultation, a young Russian patient expressed her sadness. She told me how, 11 years earlier, their family received beautiful fruit baskets from the Applebaums. These were delivered by David's sons, Natan and Yitzhak, to their then home in Jerusalem. Due to the Applebaum's modesty, most of these acts of kindness will be remembered only by those directly touched by them, and as the days go by, more and more are coming to light.

We are facing an irreconcilable loss. A light has gone out of our world. How will we cope without him?

I can just imagine his unsentimental answer to me: "C'mon Joe, it can be done. Let's get on with it."

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Visitor Comments: 15

(15)
Rabbi Ian Shaffer,
August 26, 2014 3:53 PM

A 'typical' David Applebaum story

I remember back to election day in Israel in 1983. Jerusalem was empty of traffic that day and as I was walking to the bus station I heard my name being loudly called:'Yisrael, Yisrael', as if from above. Being Jerusalem there was only one response to make and I looked up to the sky and said "Hineni'. It then turned out that David zal was driving around in the ambulance that day and whoever he saw and knew he called out to. He was a very special person and although he nearly scared the life out of me that day, his humor really won the day and I was so upset to hear of the brutal murders in the Hillel cafe. He was a special Jew and is still sorely missed.

(14)
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August 15, 2004 12:00 AM

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(13)
Ivon,
January 7, 2004 12:00 AM

May the Lord strengthen Israel through this time

It is so unfortunate to read news as these, Dr. Applebaun's death causes my heart to ache in amazement at how someone could consider the gift of their own life and others so poorly. But I do know the God of Israel never sleeps and one day He will bring justice to his people.

(12)
Marilyn Stahl,
September 20, 2003 12:00 AM

Moving, inspirational, and energizing

Despite the tragedy one has to be moved and encouraged to learn from this great man. To do for others,to be modest in one's life, and to always keep going and trying would be an elevation to Dr. Applebaum's soul.

(11)
Anonymous,
September 16, 2003 12:00 AM

What a loss

The end of days must really be in sight, otherwise why would such an "inexplainable" thing happen?

(10)
Paul E. Slater, MD,
September 16, 2003 12:00 AM

Dr. Applebaum, the Brisker

At David's funeral, Debra's father, Rabbi Spero, said that his son-in-law was 'a Brisker at heart.' About 20 years ago, before it was so fashionable, a bus exploded late one morning near Mt. Herzl in Jerusalem. Driving home from Hadassah-Ein Kerem, I was one of the first on the scene. Many passengers were horribly injured, and when I finally got home, I was bloodied and shaken. Ambulances were starting to line up, but the only Magen David Adom doctor was herself overwhelmed by the carnage and was unable to organize the rescue and evacuation efforts. Soon more experienced doctors arrived, several on the run from nearby Shaare Zedek, but not David, who was then head of MDA’s intensive care ambulance service. Several days later, I met David and expressed my disappointment at not seeing him at the scene of the explosion that awful morning. 'You were sorely needed,' I admonished him. Always my teacher, although several years younger than me, David put his arm around my shoulder and said, 'Paul, you have no idea how much I wanted to be there with you, but the halacha on this point is very clear: if you are caring for a critically ill person, you are not permitted to leave him to care for someone else, or even to care for many others, until you have turned over your first patient to someone at least as competent as yourself. At the moment of the bus explosion, I was taking a man with a complicated heart attack to Hadassah on Mt. Scopus. Although I was notified of the explosion immediately, 15 long minutes went by until I was able to transfer my patient into the hands of a competent intensive care resident. By then, the evacuation of the injured on Mt. Herzl was over, and I could only return to headquarters in Romema to debrief my staff.' That was Dr. David Applebaum, the Brisker. May he and Naava rest in eternal peace, and may G-d avenge their blood in our time.
Paul E. Slater, MD
Jerusalem

(9)
vivian schecter,
September 16, 2003 12:00 AM

yashar koach

Joe, Thank you for writing what all our hearts are feeling. We all take a bit of David and Nava with us

(8)
betti miner,
September 16, 2003 12:00 AM

inspiring

what a mensch Dr. Applebaum was! So sad for his family and future son-in-law who lost his betrothed the same day. May his name be for a blessing

(7)
JoAnn Gala,
September 16, 2003 12:00 AM

Donation

I was very upset to learn of the death of this wonderful man and his daughter--has the family made any suggestions where to send donations? I'd like very much to know. Many thanks and I am very sorry for this loss.

(6)
Anonymous,
September 15, 2003 12:00 AM

Five days have passed since the tragic bombings of September 9th and the pain still has not begun to fade. Sure the tears may have started to dry up or maybe they have slowed down in their frequency, but the gnawing agony has yet to diminish. I cannot say that I have had the pleasure of really knowing Dr. Applebaum, except for in passing. And Nava, his beautiful daughter, while we went to the same high school, we were not more than acquaintances. I will, however, always remember her sparkling eyes and her infectious laugh that used to echo throughout the halls at recess. But this past Tuesday night, at 11:30 p.m. all laughing came to a halt.
Moments before my roomate, Aviva, and I were to put on a DVD to watch a movie, we decided to check the television for a minute to see what was on. My Just a few hours earlier there had been a fatal bombing by the army base in Tzrifin, and we wanted to see if there was any more "news". Unfortunately, this time, we were welcomed by the all too familiar sounds of an anxious news-reporter telling of yet another terrorist bomber- the second one in only 6 hours. Only this time in Jerusalem. Immediately I picked up my cellphone and tried to call any of my friends who might have chalila been in the area. Thank G-d, in the past, I would make these unfortunately, routine calls and would here all is okay. Normally, I would breathe a somewhat selfish sigh of relief and watch the news resting assured that at least for this time, those I love and care about are safe and sound. This time I was not so lucky.
I called up my close friend Ariella Spero. Her husband Yisroel answered the cell phone. "Meira," he said calmly, "this is a really bad time, my Uncle and Nava were at Cafe Hillel... and it's bad... really bad," and he hung up. I could tell from the eerie-calm in his voice that it was serious. Two hours later we received a phone call that Dr. Applebaum was indeed murdered, but no one was really sure what Nava's condition was. I couldn't believe my ears. It mustn't be true, I told myself. Nava is getting married tomorrow night.... My roomate, Alysa Spero, who was in Jerusalem that night, was also Dr. Applebaum's niece and Nava's cousin, had just spent days looking for a new outfit to wear to her cousin's wedding and now what? It made absolutely no sense to me. I convinced myself that at least Nava would be ok. I mean, what kind of G-d could take a bride away from her groom the very night before her wedding? No, she will be ok I kept telling myself. But she wasn't. Nava Applebaum was murdered along with her father the night before her wedding.
I really don't think that the word "tragedy" can even begin to encompass the enormity of it; a 19 year old groom mourning his bride, a mother of six mourning her husband and daughter the very night before her wedding, 5 children mourning their sister and father, sitting shiva instead of sheva brachot, instead of seven days of celebrations, seven days of mourning.
No, tragedy is simply an understatement.
In our country's extremely short history, it has become a normal occurance for suicide bombers to literally get away with murder. And it can happen anywhere- no one is safe or protected from it. It can happen on buses, at bus stops at coffee shops, malls, in Jerusalem, Tel Aviv, Rishon, Karnei Shomron, Efrat, Tiberias, Beer Sheva.... Anywhere. And some may think "where is G-d now?" "How can He allow this to happen?" And I admit, at times, I wonder that too, but then I think of the victims and their families and I know that He is here with us at every moment. I cannot pretend to know how the family must be feeling right now, my imagination cannot fathom such a reality, but I know that the only way people can even begin to cope with such a catastrophe and get through the mourning process is with the help of G-d. Otherwise there is no other way humanly possible. I mean, how else would it be feasible for a family to ever overcome such an atrocity, if not with the help of Hashem.
I heard an interesting parable in a class on why bad things happen to good people. The truth is that there is no "good" answer to that question, nor is there a "right" one, but the Rabbi had said something to the following affect. Take the teffilin which is donned every day as an example. When you see someone wearing teffilin from the front, what do you see? You see two strips of black leather down either side of their chest. They appear as two seperate, random, non-connected strips. But if you look at the back of the head at the tefillin you will see that they are very much connected at the source close to the nape of the neck. It is a matter of perspective. If you look at things only from one side, from the "front," all you will see is bad things happening to good people, and good things happening to bad people, and it will all seem random and separate and meaningless. But if we had the ability to see the entire picture at the same time we would know that there is a purpose and a source for everything. It doesn't make it any easier to understand why such a thing could happen or how, but hopefully, maybe, it makes it a little bit easier to accept.
I do think, however, that a more vital question is how do WE allow these things to continue? We have an independant country with the most excellent army in the world. Even the "great, big" American Army realizes our strength and yet we don't. We have the ability and the potential to take control of our fate and not just by building walls hoping to keep out the evil, but by actually taking control of the situation and taking action. It seems that people have allowed the terrorism to become a part of our existence in this country and that is just wrong. Of course it is easier to sit around and question G-d, and to blame Him, but I think it may be more benificial to question ourselves and ask what can we do about it? We may not be able to understand or change what has already happened, but we can try to change ourselves and the world around us by becoming better people, more compassionate, more patient, by living the way Dr. Applebaum and Nava did- by putting other's needs before their own and giving whole-heartedly to every endeavor they took upon themselves. Maybe G-d chose to take them from us because of their goodness... maybe we do not merit to have them with us any longer....
This month is the month of Elul and we are all preparing for Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. It is the time for introspection and self-evaluation. Following such a tragedy, where two such incredible individuals were taken from this world, I can only strive to emulate their kindness, chessed, compassion and devotion to Am Yisrael. I hope and pray that this year Hahsem will grant Am Yisrael with a year of health and peace and only smachot, and I pray that no one will ever have to endure such tragedies again.

(5)
Anonymous,
September 15, 2003 12:00 AM

Thanks for telling us more about this great man

When the world hears "15 dead" or "23 dead and 48 wounded", it's difficult to put a face onto these statistics and to think that each person who is reduced to a 'number' had so much left to live and so many more people to influence and enchant just as Mr. Applebaum did.
This man did such great work, and had such a glorious family, thank God for beacon of lights like him. May his memory be for blessing.

(4)
Michael Poppers,
September 15, 2003 12:00 AM

Hear, hear! and, now, "na'aseh"!

As I privately wrote to Joe when I received his letter from my cousin Tzvi Sand (father of the groom whom Naava H'y'd' was one evening from marrying), "Thank you, Joe, for those beautiful words, and may they indeed lead to more-beautiful actions: 'machshavah yavo liydai ma'aseh' [the thought should translate into action], such that we all bring light in & to where there was darkness."

(3)
Yitzchak Finch,
September 15, 2003 12:00 AM

The Man I Want to Become...

As we work our way through the Jewish month of Elul, preparing for the High Holidays, we should all be taking the time to think about the kind of person we would like to work toward becoming over the next year.

I have been working on this myself, and the answer seems quite elusive. However, even if I don't have a complete picture, I was struck by the idea that part of my model for the "Future Me" incorporates much of what Dr. Applebaum achieved in his liftime.

May Klal Yisrael complete its teshuva in the coming year, be blessed with Shalom, and know only Simcha.

(2)
Denise,
September 15, 2003 12:00 AM

Have no words. I just can`t believe it

I was in Israel last week for my first time.A day before the bomb I was taking a coffe right there. I read and read each article again and again , each terrible story and still can`t understand. I just hope that G-od give consolation to these broken families, to all Israeli people and to jewish all around the world that mourn each time we hear these sad news.

(1)
frederica barlaz,
September 15, 2003 12:00 AM

hello to joe djemal

how nice to see such a heartfelt article about dr. applebaum by a colleague who i believe is someone i knew from the bangkok jewish community back in the 70s! may you and the other partners carry on terem in the spirit of dr. applebaum.

I’ve heard the argument made that Jews should not buy German products, for example Volkswagen cars which used Jewish slave labor during the war. It is wrong for Jews to support German industries?

My cousin says we should just forgive and forget. I would like your thoughts on the subject.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The great rabbi known as the Chazon Ish once said that if a Torah scroll was found burning, and a man used it to light his cigarette, there is no Jewish law that forbids it. Nevertheless, doing so would show a lack of sensitivity. So too, Jewish law does not forbid purchasing a German car.

Regarding the "demand for forgiveness," people often quote the Bible that when one is struck, it is proper to "turn the other cheek" and allow that cheek to be struck as well. But that only appears in the Christian Bible. Jews believe in fighting actively against evil.

Almost all people are inherently good and so we should forgive their lapses. But some people are truly evil – for example, Amalek, the ancient nation which wantonly attacked the Jews leaving Egypt.

Over two millennia ago when Haman (a descendant of Amalek) was commanded by the king to lead his enemy Mordechai through the streets of Shushan, Mordechai was too weak to climb on to the horse. Haman had to stoop to allow Mordechai to use his back as a stepping stool. In the process, Mordechai delivered a vicious kick to Haman which obviously startled him.

Turning to Mordechai in bewilderment, Haman asked: "Does it not say in your Bible, 'Do not rejoice at your enemy's downfall?'" Mordechai responded that indeed it does, but it refers only to people less evil than Haman. So too, we have no reason or allowance to forgive the Nazis and their helpers. Those who scraped the concrete in the gas chambers gasping for air can choose whether to forgive the Germans. We cannot.

In 1977, Egyptian President Anwar Sadat addressed the Knesset in Jerusalem. Sadat was the first Arab leader to officially visit Israel, after receiving an invitation from Menachem Begin. Sadat had orchestrated the Egyptian attack on Israel in the 1973 Yom Kippur War, but after suffering defeat became resigned to the existence of the State of Israel. Much of the Arab world was outraged by Sadat's visit and his change of strategy. One year later, Sadat and Begin signed the Camp David Peace Agreement, for which they received the Nobel Peace Prize. As part of the deal, Israel withdrew from the Sinai peninsula in phases, returning the entire area to Egypt by 1983.

There are many tasks, jobs, and chores that we will end up
doing whether we really enjoy doing them or not. Many hours of our lives are spent this way. The late Rabbi Chaim Friedlander, of Ponevehz Yeshivah, used to say, "If you are going to do it anyway, do it with joy."

Train a young lad according to his method, so that when he grows older he will not deviate from it (Proverbs 22:6).

He shall not deviate from it - the child will not deviate from the method with which he was taught. That method refers to the way we are taught to adapt to life's many hurdles, struggles, and tests.

Education consists of more than just imparting knowledge; it also means training and preparation in how to deal with life. Knowledge is certainly important, but is by no means the sum total of education.

"A person does not properly grasp a Torah principle unless he errs in it" (Gittin 43b). People usually do not really grasp anything unless they first do it wrong. In fact, the hard way is the way to learn. Children learn to walk by stumbling and picking themselves up; young people learn to adjust to life by stumbling and picking themselves up.

Parents and teachers have ample opportunities to serve as role models for their children and students, to demonstrate how to adapt to mistakes and failures. If we show our children and students only our successes, but conceal our failures from them, we deprive them of the most valuable learning opportunities.

We should not allow our egos to interfere with our roles as educators. Parents and teachers fulfill their obligations when they become role models for real life.

Today I shall...

try to share with others, especially with younger people, how I have overcome and survived my mistakes.

With stories and insights,
Rabbi Twerski's new book Twerski on Machzor makes Rosh Hashanah prayers more meaningful. Click here to order...