Trapped in a world he is not designed to cope with, Dave-El (the true Kryptonian name of alleged Earth creature David Long) writes about comics, Doctor Who, politics and whatever damned thing pops into his unbalanced mind.

Friday, March 18, 2016

This Campaign, This Damn Pain II: Electric Boogaloo

Hi
there! Welcome to I’m So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, the blog that speaks of
the Pompatus of Love. I’ve Dave-El but some people call me Maurice.

Time
for me to play Political Catch Up as I cast a weary eye upon the dystopian
political landscape left in the wake of this past Tuesday’s primaries.

To
the surprise of no one, Marco Rubio was given his hat and coat and shown the
door to the outside world known as Not Running For President Land. Hello,
Marco. We’ve been waiting for you. Poor Marco, the little kid in the big kid
suit, he tried to make us think he was the Chosen One of the Republican Party
who would save us all from the hideous orange evil one, Lord Voldertrump. Rubio
tried to be a Gryffindor guy when he was deep down a Hufflepuff named Willie
Weaseldung. When Marco could not carry his own home state of Florida, the gig
was up and Marco Rubio, Candidate for US President, ceased to be, disappearing
in a puff of brimstone with just a hint of lavender and mint.

Meanwhile,
John Kasich won his home state of Ohio and so he still thinks he’s a player,
the last grown up in the room. I do owe Kasich an apology. I’ve made a few
jokes at his expense in this blog for being such a non entity that even the
people of Ohio had to Google him to remember he was their governor.
Turns out (shocker!) I did not know what I was talking about. Seems people in Ohio do know who John Kasich is who is apparently well-liked there. In my defense,
upper middle aged white guys running for the Republican Presidential nomination
do tend to blur together after a while.

Still,
Donald Trump keeps on romping and stomping across America like some kind of Intolerable
Hulk (“TRUMP SMASH!!!”), winning the angry hearts and shriveled minds of
undereducated Republican white men everywhere. Yet, here’s a shock, I’ve seen
stories where Donald’s appeal is apparently wider than the target demographic
for Duck Dynasty. What this means is he’s reaching out to undereducated Democratic
white men too. So yay, diversity!And
there is that core constituency that votes for Donald because they still think
this is funny, ha, ha, ha, no, the fuck it isn’t! Cut it out! Joke’s over, man!

However,
there are forces at work that are, and I can’t believe I’m going to say this,
more dangerous than Donald Trump. No, I’m not referring to Ted Cruz (but I will
get to the Lying Fuck Bastard momentarily) but all these anti-Trump efforts
from the Republican party leadership. Now here’s the thing: like it or not,
people are voting for Donald Trump. Enough people are voting for Donald Trump
that’s he’s winning state primaries and caucuses. He’s winning the delegates necessary
for securing the Republican nomination for President. The voters in these states
have spoken and they have chosen Donald Trump.

OK,
so Trump is a fucking idiot and the voters have shit for brains. Nonetheless,
people picked Trump. So what does it say not just for the Republican Party but
for American Democracy in general if the will of the people can be overturned
by arcane political convention rules? But that is what’s developing here as GOP
leadership looks towards a brokered convention in Cleveland this summer to settle
who will get the Republican nomination for President.

And it doesn’t help
matters than the 2nd biggest vote getter in the Republican race is Ted
Cruz. Yes, Ted Cruz, the one man in the Republican Party that Republicans
dislike even more than Donald Trump. Cruz has burned a lot of bridges with his
own strict adherence to ultra right Tea Party conservative talking points.He refers to fellow Republicans who he feels has
betrayed “true conservativism” with the same rancor and disdain he usually reserves for President Obama. And his strict adherence to this line means he conceivably would
appeal to an even more narrow cross section of American voters than Donald
Trump. So instead of Trump or Cruz, will the GOP actually go with also-ran John
Kasich? You didn’t vote for him once, America! Now you can not vote for him
again!

Or the GOP could actually nominate someone who
didn’t run for President this year, say Mitt Romney or Paul Ryan?

Hey,
there’s an idea! Just go with the Romney/Ryan ticket again. I’m sure there are
tons of Romney/Ryan 2012 merchandise lying around. Just get an intern (unpaid
or course) with a Sharpie and mark a “6” over the “2”. Save a LOT of money, eh?
And it doesn’t matter who the Democratic nominee is going to be. The
Republicans just want to run against Obama again anyway! Wow! I think this
would be a fun idea!

Over
on the Democratic side, Hillary Clinton ran the tables during Tuesday's primaries over Bernie Sanders and
there’s really not much more to say about that. Sanders is still a factor with
his “free stuff for everybody” appeal but Clinton’s path to the delegate total to
secure the Democratic nomination looks very solid. Once Sanders is settled, Hillary Clinton will
have to face an even worse enemy, herself. She does have a bad habit of saying the
wrong thing at the wrong time. For example, Clinton recently praised recent
deceased former first lady Nancy Reagan for her quiet activism for sufferers
of HIV/AIDS. It must have been really, really quiet because no one alive in the
1980s remembers hearing anything about that. Anyway, Clinton was trying to say
something nice about Nancy Reagan and she has since apologized for her
statement. And here’s the really bad thing with stuff like that: it’s not
something her completion on the right will use against her. No, stuff like that
Nancy Reagan quote gets Hillary in hot water with the more liberal wing of her
own party.

So
here we are. For the Democrats, it still looks like a coronation for Hillary
Clinton while the Republicans are in chaos as they try to snatch their crown
from the court jester.

And
that’s all I’ve got for today. Another new post is coming up tomorrow. Until
then, remember to be good to one another.