Small talk

Small talk

I was at a family function the other day – I have a pretty big extended family that I rarely see.

I saw some aunties and cousins who I hadn’t seen in at least 10 years.

In a brief ‘catch up’ conversation, one relative enquired,”still happily married?”. To which I continued to smile (as I often do, as is my personality) and replied, nodding,”yeah…”.

A bit of a random question (although the relative in question was divorced), but it made me think…..

I know I definitely have it pretty good and I am grateful for everything in my life.

It takes me back to the question my therapist asked me about what was enough for me….can I live with hubby’s very detached emotional style? With less affection and compliments/ appreciation than I desire?

I do wonder if it’s unfair to hubby that he is unaware of how much I have deliberated but I also know I can’t take anything back once it’s been said.

I think I can live with things, when deliberating all the other good there is about us.

…..but then there’s that pesky sex thing. I don’t know how to illustrate just how little hubby is into sex, but maybe I’m just not right for him? Am I denying him finding someone more compatible in that respect?

Thank you, yes I have gotten myself into quite a pickle. I do think I will get there but it’s not a fast or easy process unfortunately. I’d love to say I will definitely have myself sorted by the end of the year but it’s hard to know definitively.