I finally got to finish this and I liked it a lot. I mean like a lot. I love that Jeanie is the new Beekeeper her hanging out and learning from Nesbet is just filled with so much awesome. I'm so jealous. I want to hang out with Super Science! Tom Waits and listen to him explain the bee theme obsession.

The whole vision/prophesy/message from the future thing works as far as I'm concerned. Giving it to Richard makes sense if he plays a major part in the battle then he's the one that can get the most out of it. I absolutely adored how you used Graham. I'm not big on the spanglies and I would love to know the turn of event that would make Graham agree to it but he seems like a very major player.It's awesome to think that in five years time Graham can go from the cowardly lion that he is now to become that.

You did a great job of writing for him too. Honestly you did a better job than I am at this current time. It felt like Graham just with way more self confidence.

"When they ask how I died, tell them: still angry." - Quellcrist Falconer

ClassDunce wrote:I want to hang out with Super Science! Tom Waits and listen to him explain the bee theme obsession.

I know, right?After I'd decided that she needed to be one of the heroes in the fighting it became pretty easy to decide which one she'd be. I mean, who doesn't want to hang out with Super Science! Tom Waits?!

ClassDunce wrote: I'm not big on the spanglies and I would love to know the turn of event that would make Graham agree to it but he seems like a very major player.

If it's any consolation he's not big on them either. (I just didn't get much of a chance to go over it)When I started going through the characters I figured they'd all see some growth. Sean was the most powerful by a long shot, with Richard not too far behind, the others all hitting Force Ops or Freedom League levels.But every time I thought about Graham I figured that he probably didn't gain any additional powers. He was always the little guy on the street which gave him a unique perspective that one couldn't get when you were flying through the air like a god.

Basically a strange cross between Spiderman and Captain America. He was the little guy fighting people way out of his league because somebody needed to look out for the little guy. He was the person who was looking out for the people's rights, first on the scene in an emergency, last one out.

The name wasn't by his choosing, it was given to him by the public. The suit? Again, not his choice, it was presented to him by the public. He'd become a symbol to the people who did the right thing, regardless of if you were good or bad.

Richard was known around the world, but Champion was the one who knew all the people. He might not have had the power to change the world by himself, but he knew enough people to accomplish it just the same.

So Graham wore the suit and kept the name, not because he liked them or even wanted them, but because they gave the people around him hope. He became a symbol for people to rally on, and he used that to help as many as he could.

I guess the best example was that run in with Force Ops. Everybody stopped because they were afraid of Richard, but everybody listened because they trusted Champion.

I will say this much, I've left large sections of this story vague for a couple reasons.Didn't have the time to write it outCouldn't write it interestingBut sometimes it's just because I want to know what you guys think happened.

Because sometimes you just can't beat other people's imaginations.

That's why the horror movies where you never really get to see the baddy are so much more interesting than the flicks were they show you the cheesy monster.A guy in a rubber suit can never match up against the creature you created in your own imagination.

Anyways, I have ideas for my next two interludes, but I think they're going to be extremely short in comparison to this.Like I said, H&H had the right idea, short stories! ;~)

Like I said before, a story can get tedious if you try to explain absolutely everything. You explained the parts you needed to and I think that was enough. If I went back and read it all again, I'd probably wonder how some things came to be but they weren't important to the story.

I just wonder how Sean of all people could be considered the most powerful? The was kind of a wtf revelation to me. He didn't come across as any more powerful than Rich and he certainly came across as psychologically damaged. How his damage compares to Rich's...I can't be sure, but Rich survived to the end of the story, so that says something.

Of course michuru started a grand tradition of my characters dying (usually off camera) in epic tales, so at least that was observed.

You misunderstand, I'm not saying he's considered the most powerful, in my mind when I wrote this he simply was the most powerful.The inability to hurt him with physical attacks, plus his mobility, powerful ranged attacks, strong force of will, and a resliancy against energy attacks that could hurt him made him a real force to be reckoned with.

He took out entire groups of battleships by himself when an entire team of superheroes and military forces were struggling to take down one or two. Not to mention that the damage he wreaked on the other side of the portal single handedly ground the invasion to a halt.

Now I have to say I used Sean as a dark mirror for Richard. Is that how I really saw Sean ending up? Probably not, but I liked being able to hold the mirror up to Richard and say "This is how you're going to turn out. You need to fix that."

Had I not been doing that, well, I suppose Sean would have probably been tag-teaming with Richard in that final fight.So, yeah, Sean kind of got screwed over a few times in this story. Sorry.

Also Apocrypha lived. Offscreen. ;~)

I also discovered in writing this that it might be easier to write fights when you have a group of people instead of one person working as the focus. At least that way you can jump between characters to focus on the interesting parts of their fights, rather than getting locked in when they're not fighting in a cinematic fashion.

Also I've added an index, courtesy of Tattooedman, and a "Our Story Thus Far" intro at the very begining of this thread. If the players would be kind of enough to give me a quick writeup of their characters (Like I did for Richard and Jeanie) I'll post it up there so new readers at least have an idea of what's going on.If not, I can add them in myself later.

Well I told the others that it doesn't have to be dramatic, or fancy.It doesn't have to be a super heroic event, or a fight, it could just be a typical day. A slice in the life of Graham, stretchy guy.

For some reason the image that always comes to mind for me is just him using his abilities to avoid/escape his horde of female admirers around the school ;~)