I do not own said product considering I look more like Bozo the Clown than Marilyn Monroe when I wear red lipstick. However, I am not completely immune to its purposes…sexiness, feminine-ness, boldness…the list goes on.

I was taking care of a patient recently who while admitted for pneumonia, also had stage 4 breast cancer that had metastasized to the spinal cord. The patient in question had had a previous bilateral mastectomy some few years ago so while that was not a current issue, it was a contributing factor to her condition and mental state…which is to say was not good. And I know I can’t fix everybody. Hell, I don’t think I can fix anybody, but I try–even if in most cases it’s to motivate you to move your ass (a nurturing, placating nurse I am not).

I do have a point, I promise.

Whenever I’m feeling out of sorts, I head to my local bookstore, and just start randomly reading any book that catches my eye. With that patient fresh in my mind, I recently read an excerpt from a book called something like “Why I wore lipstick to my mastectomy surgery.” If that one chapter was so incredibly profound, I can only imagine what the the rest of the book is like. I probably should have bought it, but truthfully, I was looking for something a little more ‘uplifting’ to take on my upcoming vacation. I get it. A woman was about to lose a part of herself that biologically makes here a ‘woman’… that society says ‘this is what a woman looks like.’ So she wears red lipstick to her surgery…Red lipstick–another of society’s ways of defining what is sexy…what is womanly. How she used that color to make herself more than another cancer patient having surgery. How she used it to leave her mark– more than just an exacted pound of flesh– on the operating table. And there is something empowering about red lipstick, isn’t there? A bold, fearless statement.

I am not a lipstick person. Or if truth be told, not really a make-up person. And though at times, usually when I’m having an ‘off’ few days, an image adjustment has been cathartic for my Self…if only in receiving comments from people ‘you look nice today’ or getting looks from attractive men that usually don’t noticed my dressed down self; recently it has been more than my Self that needed a lift…my spirit is probably more accurate.

Usually, I lift my sagging spirit by traveling or doing something different. Or being creative. But right now I am in a box. School is limiting my free time and free funds. My living space is tiny and doesn’t afford the opportunity to be overly creative. I am still learning how to be good a my job. I am still learning how to adjust to the demands of my new life. Sometimes I don’t think I’m doing any of it well. Sometimes I feel like I am constantly being watched. Like a person in a box. Forced to walk a straight line… a path that holds no mystery. No character. No soul.

And then I look back. On what I have accomplished. On where I’ve been. On where I’ve come from. On the goals I still have for my life. And then I say “Oh, yea there she is…that merry wanderluster…that nature girl…that person who has saved lives…that person who loves animals…that person who creates things. There she is…

“And then I say–This is who I am.” And I felt the smug satisfaction of, “so there.”

Meet Michelle

What is this place?

Hi, I’m Michelle and this is my own little corner of the interwebs where I write, share photos, and interact with others in the blog-o-shpere. So in addition to that–Who am I? I am –in one way or another– the following: hiker + backpacker + swimmer + pediatric respiratory therapist + registered nurse + avid traveler + cat parent + gardener + photographer + medical science junkie + adventure-seeker + DIY enthusiast + voracious reader + history and science nerd + football fanatic + aging athlete + wannabe chef + trying not to succumb to the trappings of a 9-5 life. And beginning in 2018, a Peace Corps Volunteer in Rwanda.

Everyday life doesn’t have to be routine. Anyone can do just about anything he or she wants to do– sometimes one has to find creative ways in doing it. Sometimes one has to tear down the barriers that might stopping them. Everyday is an opportunity to choose your own adventure. That is what I ultimately write about.

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Where I’ve Been

States I’ve Seen

Time Capsule

Time Capsule

Disclaimer

Thank you for reading! All journeys and projects documented here have been self-funded, or are made possible by partnering with like-minded organizations. Occasionally, a post will contain affiliate links where I will receive a small commission (at not additional cost to you) if a purchase is made as a result of clicking on the link. Otherwise, I am proudly ad-free.

Peace Corps Required Disclaimer

Peace Corps Required Disclaimer:

Just a friendly reminder that from June 2018- July 2020, I will be serving in the Peace Corps in Rwanda. The content of this website is mine alone does not necessarily reflect the views of the U.S. Government, the Peace Corps, or the Rwandan Government. Please let me know if there is anything you want to see or know. Part of the Peace Corps mission is to provide host countries with knowledge and understanding of Americans and our culture, but it works the other way too. I’d love to share beautiful Rwanda with all of you.