In sickness and in health

Patrick and Angela Jessee

John J. Kim, Chicago Tribune

John J. Kim, Chicago Tribune

Jessica Reynolds, Tribune Newspapers

Patrick and Angie Jessee were less than three months from their wedding day when they received the news: Patrick had non-Hodgkin lymphoma. His life expectancy, according to his oncologist, was five years.

They had planned to wed on Oct. 8, 2011. But that July, Patrick, now 39, and Angie, 38, decided to postpone the wedding.

"I felt it was unfair to get married and leave a widow," said Patrick, a Chicago firefighter/paramedic. "I had that guilt of, if I'm going to die from this, I don't want to leave a widow behind who incurs all the (health care) debt and cost of a big wedding if I'm going to be gone six months (to) a year afterward."

The diagnosis upended the life plans of two people who were always focused more on their careers than marriage. They had spent almost 20 years as close friends and a no-strings-attached couple before deciding to forge a future together. Now they feared that future might never come.

Angie — who manages plant operations staff at Flint Hills Resources, a refining, chemicals and biofuels company in Channahon, near Joliet, — graduated in 1997 and moved to St. Louis for a job in chemical engineering. Patrick finished his bachelor's degree at Southern Illinois University at Edwardsville in 1998. Originally from Granite City, in west-central Illinois,

Patrick then moved closer to home — and to Angie — to work as an emergency medical technician in St. Louis.

He also continued his education. Over the last 15 years, Patrick earned a paramedic training certificate, a second bachelor's degree in biology from DePaul University, a master's degree in biology from U. of I., a master's in threat and response management from the University of Chicago and a master's of public policy and administration from Northwestern University.

In 2000, he went to work for the Chicago Fire Department. Despite the distance, both made an effort to meet at least once a month.

"He would come home … and we'd always see each other," Angie said. "We probably talked on the phone almost every day."

Things became easier when Angie moved to Peru, Ill., in 2004. With only 100 miles between Peru and Chicago, they would rendezvous in towns halfway or jet off on vacations. Angie even tagged along to a few "Star Wars" conventions with Patrick, a devoted fan.

Both contend they weren't "officially dating" at this point, but as Angie puts it: "We weren't just platonic friends."

"I think our families probably were like … 'C'mon, just admit it,' " Angie said. "We both didn't really feel the need to make a total commitment, but it's just like we were inching more and more into each others' lives."

Not until October 2010, when Patrick proposed, did they both consider themselves an item. For Angie, the proposal came out of left field. But Patrick knew she was the one.

"Angie had always been a good friend that I could trust and be myself around," he said.

In March 2011, Patrick injured his shoulder on the job and had to undergo rehabilitation.

"I was doing Swiss ball walkouts — so you walk out on your hands and you walk back up, and you've got the rubber ball underneath you — and I noticed a lump in my abdomen," he recalled.

Patrick was in the midst of studying for the Medical College Admission Test. With no overt symptoms, he shrugged off the lump.

"I thought it was a hernia," Patrick said. "I'm a paramedic, so I was shooting through the self-diagnoses."

In June, one week after he took the MCAT, excruciating pain flared up in his back. He finally went to see a doctor, who ordered a CT scan. He received the diagnosis on July 22, 2011.

"The scan came back with cancer spread throughout my entire abdomen, from my pelvis up to my kidneys," Patrick said. "I had about 30 to 40 lymph nodes that were all enlarged."

Patrick began chemotherapy in August. Angie, still living in Peru, and Patrick's mom took turns taking him to treatment. After his second round of treatment, X-rays revealed his lymph nodes were substantially shrinking in size.

With this wave of hope, Patrick and Angie went back to the drawing board for the wedding. Patrick finished chemo the day before Thanksgiving in 2011.

"The day that I came up to take him to his last chemo is the day I moved into his condo" in University Village, Angie said.

By January 2012, the cancer was gone. Patrick was in remission. He has now surpassed the two-year milestone of being cancer-free.

On May 19, 2012, Patrick and Angie finally married and now live on Chicago's Northwest Side.

They each still value their independence.

"One of the things I like to say about what we have is it's a shared life, not the same life," said Patrick, who still hopes to attend medical school.

He said the illness altered his perspective, causing him to view life in snapshots.

"The story of your life is what you make of it from moment to moment to moment. It's not this continuous roll, because you don't know when it's going to stop, when you won't be able to do something," he said. "So while you're able to do something, do it."

Following his new philosophy, one day last year Patrick asked Angie to grab lunch with him near her office.

Angie obliged, although the request was uncharacteristic for him. While they were eating, she asked why he wanted to meet.

"I was like, 'Oh, I went sky diving this morning,' " Patrick said.

Patrick has become an advocate for those battling lymphoma. His work with the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society led to his nomination as a candidate for Man of the Year for the Illinois chapter.