Ultimate Makeover!

I arrived at author Melanie Jackson’s house severely worn out from finishing my latest book, and in sore need of a makeover. Melanie suggested a trip to Lutin Memorial Hospital (a hospital run by the goblins in her Aug. and Nov. 2003 books, TRAVELER and OUTSIDERS), for an Ultimate Makeover!

This is BEFORE. As you can see, I'm having a severe attack of the uglies.

Hair and skin needed intensive work, and the Goblin doctors at Lutin Memorial promised that the green mask would do wonders for my facial structure. It stank to high heaven, but I trusted them.

AFTER! The Goblin doctors removed my lower ribs, sucked out a good eight pounds from around my waist, pumped it back in on my buttocks and breasts, and gave me hair implants. Fabulous! Highly recommended!

Melanie, celebrating my successful surgery with a burger.

Me, playing the piano at Melanie's house. Goblins danced, but declined to be photographed.

Melanie, ogling the cherries at a farmer's market. We ate them daily, to the point of intestinal distress. I think the goblins had something to do with our perverse, unbreakable addiction.

Two wicked women, sipping tea oh-so-innocently.

I was arrested for lewd conduct (what, there's a law against licking the necks of young, sweaty men when they don't expect it?). Oh no! To jail I go!