The Art Of Persuasion

Put very simply, Joe didn't have anything to offer Enzo that made it worth his time to go out that night. Joe wanted a buddy to tag along with him for the simple sake of being there. He tried telling Enzo that it would be fun. Enzo was tired — his idea of fun was going to bed.

Then he tried asking him for a favor. Again Enzo refused, being too tired. How would doing Joe a favor benefit Enzo? His bed and pillow made more sense to him than going out to a club that night.

So how did Joe finally convince Enzo?

what's in it for me?

Joe used the surest way of getting a person to undertake an action. He convinced Enzo not by appealing to his emotions, friendship, or sense of duty and adventure, but rather by appealing to Enzo's self-interest.

People don't like to admit that they are, for the most part, very selfish individuals. In fact, most people go so far as to put on an "act of holiness" to give others the impression that they are selfless individuals ready to do their part for the greater good.

So good is the act that most people assume this selfless nature is a person's true character. The persuader then tries to convince the "actor" to do something based on false character traits that he is only pretending to have, when in reality, he is a very different person. Thus, the persuader is appealing to things that the "actor" really doesn't care about. The result is failure.

As soon as someone proposes an action that will personally benefit the other person, that individual is hooked. As soon as Joe promised he would introduce Enzo to a gorgeous babe that would sleep with him that very night, he had Enzo in his pocket. He hit the nail on the head. Getting a broad in the sack was exactly what Enzo wanted, but didn't announce. So when Joe put it to him in that manner, it was in Enzo's best interest to go to the club and party hard.

So you see friends, when Joe was trying to convince Enzo by telling him what Joe wanted, it didn't work. As soon as Joe changed his tactic and tried convincing Enzo with what his friend wanted, it worked like a charm.

in business as in life

The point here is that in business, as in life, the real art of persuasion lies in figuring out what the other person really wants and offering it to them. Once they have what they want, they will gladly go along with just about any scheme you may be cooking up.