Archive for the 'Pipe Dreams' Category

I see the bad moon arising.
I see trouble on the way.
I see earthquakes and lightnin’.
I see those bad times today.

I don’t know why this cake brought CCR lyrics about the moon to mind.

Maybe it is because is is perfectly circular.

Maybe it is because its surface was pitted like the moon.

Maybe it is because it rose to my expectations.

It will cause earthquakes and lightning in your heart. It won’t signal trouble on the way.

Only good times can come of this. Provided you include orange zest or some other spices in the crumble. It wasn’t flavorless, per se, and the interesting ingredients gave this cake a lot of depth, but I thought it could have used a little something more.

To make the cake: Position a rack in the middle of your oven and preheat to 350°F/180°C. Grease a 10-in/25-cm round springform pan.

In a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream the butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar, and salt on medium-high speed, until light and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Incorporate the vanilla and eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Be sure to scrape the sides of the bowl well. Pause mixing and add the all-purpose flour, wheat germ, almond flour, rye flour, baking powder, baking soda, yogurt, and orange zest. Mix cautiously, just until incorporated. Do not overmix.

Scoop the batter into the prepared pan and cover evenly with the pears. Top with the crumble, allowing a little fruit to poke through. Bake for 1 hour and 15 minutes, or until a cake tester comes out clean. Do not overbake! Allow to cool for about 15 minutes in the pan.

Run a knife around the cake in the springform, then remove the outer portion of the pan. Gently slide the cake onto a serving plate, being careful not to break the cake. This tasted even better second day.

In my experience, trying to tell people what’s good is a futile exercise. They will learn their own lessons regardless of what you say. It’s probably a good thing.

Here is a recipe you should try if you haven’t already used up all the bacon in your house from making those maple bacon biscuits six times this week. I actually hated the holey, knobbly texture. Like literally every recipe from the Huckleberry cookbook that is not a biscuit or the whole wheat pear crumb cake (yes, that’s coming your way shortly), this recipe was WAY OFF. I don’t even know what to make of it. But I couldn’t deprive you of this flavor combination. It reminds me of the ham and cheese cornbread from last year. Go for that if you want dense and salty and rich. Maybe chuck in some chives this time for green. The rosemary sprigs are just for looks. Don’t eat that unless you want to gag and be labeled a cRaZy homie.

If you want individual muffins, go for it. Like what I’ve said has ever stopped you before.

Teaching,

Lauren

Bacon Parmesan Muffins

Adapted from Huckleberry

6 tablespoons butter, cubed, room temperature

2 tablespoons sugar

1 teaspoon kosher salt

3 eggs

3/4 cup cornmeal

3/4 cup all-purpose flour

6 tablespoons rye flour

1 1/2 tablespoons baking powder

1/2 cup canola oil

4 tablespoons maple syrup

1 cup + 2 tablespoons buttermilk

1/2 cup (70 grams) Parmesan cheese, cubed

1/4 cup (35 grams) Parmesan cheese, grated

11 slices cooked bacon, coarsely chopped

1 1/2 tablespoons bacon fat from cooked bacon

1/4 cup fresh chives or parsley, finely chopped

Rosemary for garnish

Prreheat to 400°F/ 200°C. Line two 12-cup muffin pans with 15 paper liners, spacing them evenly between the two pans.

In a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream the butter, sugar, and salt for 1 to 2 minutes until nice and fluffy. Incorporate the eggs slowly, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Add the all-purpose flour, cornmeal, rye flour, and baking powder and mix until incorporated. Add the canola oil, maple syrup, and buttermilk. Scrape the mixer bowl well, making sure everything is well incorporated. Add all the diced Parmesan, and half of the grated Parmesan, the bacon, and chives. Mix just until dispersed, folding by hand to be sure.

Fill the muffin cups to the very top. Sprinkle the remaining 2 tbsp Parmesan evenly over the muffins. Bake for about 15 minutes, until nicely browned but not overbaked inside. Garnish with chopped rosemary.

The first time I ever had a sticky toffee pudding was in a small gypsy pub on a dreary day in Northern England. The sky was dim and the rain was sheeting when my friend and I set out on our little Saturday adventure. As we trekked along, we grabbed at our hoods to keep the wind from whipping them off, while the muddy road became more and more difficult to navigate. By the time, we arrived in town, we were more than ready for a comforting meal. We had chicken soup and this pudding (which is British for cake).

There are dates in it, cry me a river of tears. It is the best, most moist cake, with a caramel flavor and EXTRA SAUCE. It brings me loads of nostalgic feelings and homey associations, and there is a reason it is a classic British staple cake. If it’s raining where you are, go ham on this one, lads.

You were so great in LA. Your basic building blocks are good (seeds, grains, fruit, brown sugar, crumble), so this should have worked out. But the at-home execution was a sad mess. All anyone wanted from a muffin was a domed top and crunchy crumble, and you just wouldn’t deliver.

I mean, maybe I was running too hot, and it was all my fault. One never knows with my oven these days. But still, I’m tempted to blame your sugar overload and the addition of sixteen trendy included grains. Not enough substance to hold all the goodness together.

Anyway, you still tasted like the way everyone wishes that hippie muffin from the co-op would taste, and this picture gets me every time, so

no regrets,

L

Blueberry Cinnamon Crumble Muffins

Adapted from Huckleberry

For the crumble:

1/2 cup old-fashioned oats

1/4 cup whole wheat pastry flour (or regular)

2 tablespoons dark brown sugar

1 tablespoon honey

1 tablespoon raw millet

1 tablespoon chia seeds

1 tablespoon flax seeds

1/2 teaspoon salt

For the muffins:

1 1/4 cups whole wheat pastry flour

2 tablespoons almond flour

1 tablespoon oat flour

1 tablespoon raw millet

1 tablespoon chia seeds

1 tablespoon flax seeds

1 tablespoon old-fashioned oats

1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 cup dark brown sugar, packed

1/4 cup granulated sugar

1 teaspoon salt

4 tablespoons butter, melted

1/3 cup honey

1/2 cup buttermilk

1/2 cup + 2 tablespoons olive oil

1 egg

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

3/4 cup frozen blueberries

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit, and line a muffin tin with 12 liners.

To make the crumble, combine all ingredients and blend with your fingertips until homogenous. Set aside in the fridge.

To make the muffins, whisk the dry ingredients in a large bowl. Whisk the wet ingredients in a medium bowl. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry, whisking together until just combined. Fold in the blueberries.

Fill the muffin cups almost to the top, then sprinkle with the reserved crumble. Bake for 20 minutes, until the muffins are browned and spring back slightly when touched.

I’ve made a lot of chocolate zucchini baked things, kind of like the rest of America making chocolate zucchini bread and only chocolate zucchini bread with the leftover squash from August.

I think Americans do the chocolate thing because it masks the green. It’s not like it has this massive zucchini flavor that needs to be fudged. If you were to make a green vanilla cake, your conditioned mind would be thinking, “This tastes like Nickelodeon slime!” So zucchini never gets baked into anything but chocolate. It’s true colors are hidden for the sake of your visual-taste-brain connection.So bright, so right.

Almonds for texture. These babies needed the crunch because they were actually like liquid fudge, and I didn’t even underbake them. Ultra moist like these fail volcano brownies. I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE, ZUCC. I CAN TELL. “There is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open.” In life, and in the kitchen.

Heat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit and line a cookie sheet with Silpat.

Melt butter and chocolate chips in microwave whisking at 30-second intervals until smooth. Stir in both sugars and cocoa powder until combined. Add yogurt and vanilla. Stir in flour, soda, and salt, if using, until smooth and then add the zucchini, stirring until incorporated (mixture will be thick).

Using a tablespoon-sized cookie scoop, drop onto prepared cookie sheet. Sprinkle a few slivered almonds on top of each cookie. Bake for 8 minutes. Let cool on sheet for about 5 minutes before removing to a cooling rack to cool completely.

Place a rack in the center of the oven and preheat to 400 degrees F. Grease a 8×8-inch square baking pan with butter and set aside.

In a small bowl, make the filling by mixing together sugars, spices, and salt. Set aside.

In a mixing bowl, sift together flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Cut in butter until mixture resembles coarse meal. Use your hands to break the fat cutes into the dry ingredients. In another bowl, combine egg, milk, and vanilla, and beat lightly with a fork. Add the liquid to flour mixture all at once, stirring enough to make a soft dough.

Turn out onto a floured board and knead about 15 times. Roll dough to a little less than 1/2-inch thickness, about 12 inches long and 10 inches tall. Brush biscuit dough with melted butter. Sprinkle liberally with cinnamon sugar filling, peaches and almonds. Begin to carefully roll one vertical side into a fairly tight roll. Continue rolling until you have a biscuit cylinder.

Using floss, slice into 9 logs, about 1 inch thick. Place rolls in prepared pan. Bake for 13-15 minutes, until slightly golden brown on top. Let cool somewhat, then top with cream cheese icing.