Abercrombie's Situation: "Hey Jersey Shore, Don't Wear Our Clothes!"

Picking up trash from the beach and putting it in the media

After Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino wore an Abercrombie
shirt with an unblurred logo on an episode of the hit reality show, the
clothing company that’s previously attracted controversy for its less-than-legal
and less-than-clothed models publicly offered the show’s entire cast a payoff
to stop wearing its clothes, as their
conduct doesn’t match up with A&F’s “aspirational” standards and might “distress”
the brand’s fans.

There are so, so many jokes I could make right now.

First off, Aspirational Abercrombie? Should I aspire to be a
14 year-old half-clothed anorexic model? Or should I aspire to be topless and
wrapped around a guy with pecs bigger than my boobs? Perhaps I should just
aspire to asphyxiate someone with my horribly cloying perfume.

Second, and perhaps most importantly, we all knew Jersey Shore was trashy to the extreme, but
friends, guidos and countrymen - you know your lifestyle has crossed a
line when a brand that has made its fortune on tiny clothes, smothery cologne,
and half-naked teens no longer wants you to wear its products.

I could keep going.

Though plenty of PR and pop culture analysts are calling
this a PR stunt, the response by the cast of the Jersey Shore reveals they might be a little offended at the public “affront.”
Pauly D snapped out this tweet earlier, “Hmmm if They Don't Want Us To Wear
Those Clothes Why Make GTL Shirts #yourPRsux.”

Vinny Guadagnino, however, got a little nastier, tweeting,
“#lasttimeiworeabercrombie I still hadn’t discovered masturbation.” Oh, ew. Thank you
very, very much for almost justifying this whole crazy stunt, Vinny .

He then added, “#lasttimeIworeabercrombie there were still
stores in NY to buy it at.” Ooo, burn.

What’s even funnier is that, The Situation, at whom this PR
ploy was leveled, was the classiest one of the three to respond, though he
still linked his “Looks like Abercrombie got themselves into a Situation” tweet
to a negative stock report for A&F.

Usually, I try to have some kind of “here’s my advice for how
to avoid this pop culture craziness” type of wrap-up to my articles, but since
I’m somewhere between laughing hysterically and gagging from disgust, I’ll
leave you to draw your own conclusions.

Emmie Scott is an English major-turned-marketing exec, with a passion for writing, humor, sharing knowledge, and "pink drinks." After hours, she started Are Toe Rings Professional Attire?, a blog for college grads and twenty-somethings looking to find their way through that daunting labyrinth called…