PSA: Don't Eat Toilet Paper Before You Take a Breathalyzer

Drinking and driving is considered dumb enough, but here’s a little additional advice for anyone in Iowa stupid enough to do it: Don’t compound your problems by eating toilet paper to try to beat a breathalyzer test.

According to Cedar Rapids’s KCRG, a University of Iowa Department of Public Safety officer stopped a 39-year-old man early on the Sunday after Halloween when he was driving the wrong way down a one-way street. The gentleman reportedly failed sobriety tests and was taken to jail. There, he was observed trying to eat toilet paper in the hopes that it would “mess with” the breathalyzer test, say police.

Just in case you need proof that his technique didn’t work, officials claim that even after his toilet paper trick, the man still recorded a BAC of .165, double the legal driving limit. He’s since been charged with OWI.

Oh, and speaking of looking dumb, since it was Halloween, the incident went down while the guy was in costume, dressed, according to one report, “wearing only a trench coat and a piece of cloth that looked like a penis.” Apparently police let him slide on possible charges of first-degree super tacky costume for a man about to turn 40.