Monday, September 8, 2014

Teacher Interrogation: Hannah

I'd like to feature an interview with my
friend Hannah, who lived in both Linares and Jaén during her two years in Spain
as an English conversation assistant. We met at my first orientation, where she
strided up to me and said she recognized me from the auxiliaries' Facebook
forum. We've been friends ever since. Hannah was someone who struck many of us
first-years with awe, as she seemed extremely integrated into Spanish life – to
the point that some of us questioned if she was Spanish (she's not). Her
helpfulness, friendliness and generosity made her stand out amongst the people
I met this year.

Do you remember what fears and dreams
you had before coming to Spain? How did they turn out?

I dreamed about hearing Spanish accents
and flamenco guitar music in small, intimate settings. I tried to imagine the
tapas culture and what it might be like to take a nap in the middle of the
afternoon. And I'm happy to say all those dreams were fulfilled. I picked up a
crazy new Spanish accent, listened to authentic, impromptu flamenco music,
enjoyed every moment of tapas and cheap drinks after 11 p.m. and learned to
fall asleep and awake refreshed in 25 minutes flat on any given afternoon. But
the best and most surprising thing, and what I never dreamed would happen, is
that it would all turn into something so homely, so normal, that I didn't even
give any thought to it anymore. I adapted to Spanish life like it was meant for
me, and that made it all that much harder to leave.

Compare Hannah before and after 2 years
in Spain.

Two years ago, I was definitely
interested in language and travel and culture, but all as foreign concepts. Now
I've lived them. For real. Lived them so much that I'd gotten to the point of
boredom with them and then came back to the U.S. and learned to appreciate them
all over again. And knowing that just gives me a huge load of confidence, of
the invincible variety. Like the “if I did that, I can do anything” type of
feeling.

I would say the “after” me is infinitely
more comfortable in her own skin, in her own abilities, familiar with her own
weaknesses and ability to overcome obstacles. I'm so excited now about what
I've learned about life and so intrigued to hear others' perspectives that
people often confuse me with an outgoing, extroverted person when actually it's
quite the opposite. Spain itself gave me the opportunity to reflect and travel,
and has given me a passion for life that is just incomparable with the feelings
of the person I was before.

How has your return to the U.S. been?

I've gone through all 5 stages of grief,
starting with denial and isolation, plus a hollow sense of contentedness or
mostly numbness. Then there was anger, mostly at America and its more
ridiculous practices (Turn down the freaking air conditioning already! It's
summer and it's freezing!) and sometimes even a little resentment
towards friends and others that chose to stay on in Spain another year. Later
came the bargaining, where I tried to convince myself that I would go back to
Spain “at least for the summer” next year and regain the things I felt I had
lost. Finally I've moved into a mixed bag phase of depression and acceptance
(but mostly acceptance, yay!). I'd say the biggest help in the transition has
been constant work on creating a completely different life, one that is unique
to before I left and includes lots of new and exciting activities and
people...new car, new apartment, new grocery store (haha). This helps trick
your brain into thinking you moved to another foreign country, and maintain
that “new life” high that, for me, has been so crucial to avoid getting sucked
too far into the depression of reverse culture shock.

On another note, I didn't realize how
alone I would feel coming back. After two years away I only managed to stay in
contact with a handful of my closest friends. Luckily, I have an amazing
support system through my family and through the many, many amazing people I've
met on my journeys. That's the great thing about traveller friends, they know
what it's like to stay in contact long distance and end up being better friends
because of it. I didn't expect to feel so alone and so supported (although from
long distances) all at the same time.

Top 5 tips for auxiliaries?

#1: Have patience. Everything takes longer
in a foreign country because people don't speak your language, both
linguistically and culturally. I went in with incredibly low expectations for
how fast bureaucracy would move and how long it would take for me to adapt, so
that way in the end I found myself pleasantly surprised. Also, people in Spain
(well, maybe just in Andalucía) take things slower. If you accept it and adapt,
your life will only be more happy and relaxed because of it.

#2: Travel lots, stay home a lot. If you
have the opportunity to stay for more than a few months, try to strike a
balance between seeing new places and hanging out in your Spanish town, meeting
people and forming relationships. Trips eventually fade in your memory, but the
people are the ones you'll remember forever.

#3: Take care of yourself and allow for
creature comforts. Things were rough that first record-setting winter without a
heater and only an intermittent WiFi signal from the neighbours. My
homesickness was at its worst during that time. Lesson learned. Your experience
will be infinitely more positive if you invest a little into your own comfort.
Buy that mattress to replace the box spring you've been sleeping on; indulge in
a little American food at Corte Inglés. The decision may make or break your
experience abroad.

#4: Say yes to everything (well, almost
everything – hee hee). Someone invites you on a weekend trip to visit their
grandparents at their pueblo? Go! You
see signs for salsa classes? Get your dance on! Your roommate insists you try
the weird-looking food in a Tupperware container from who knows where? Try it!
Nine times out of ten you'll be thankful you did.

#5: Be thankful for every minute.
Seriously, it goes by so fast, it's not worth it to waste even a minute on
negativity. Of course there will be times of confusion, frustration, and doubt,
but don't lose your cool completely. Keep your eyes on the prize and don't
forget: you're already in Spain, living the dream. No, it won't always be
dreamy, but it is ALWAYS what you make of it. And if positivity and
thankfulness is the attitude you carry around with you, the hard moments will
be manageable and the good moments will be absolutely awesome.