Wednesday, 29 April 2009

Celebrating nine years of togetherness today. Nine feels like a hefty number. Longer than grade school. Nearly a decade. Past any 7 year itches and headed into double digits.

And we are also celebrating three years of being married to each other too. (Near to the day we met too!)

Hard to believe it has only been that long. And that it has been that long. We reviewed the places we have lived and the jobs and phases each of us has been through. And my move to the UK and how seamlessly the rest worked out. A lovely walk through the memory.

Who knew that fateful Happy Hour for LW's birthday at Sequioa in 2000 would change the very course of my life. And the cheeky English boy whose original claim to fame was that he insulted my sister's hair would worm his way into my very soul and enrich it in ways I never dreamed.

So yes, today we celebrate. And I celebrate my very own version of personal happiness.

Monday, 27 April 2009

1) Giant amounts of long and skinny timber and wood and various building bits and bobs arrived at our flat this morning2) This means Mark can get cracking on building a cupboard/closet with a door for all the tool crap3) And a closet for the wee babe4) And he also ordered new (against my wishes grr) new worktops for the kitchen (we need ANOTHER PROJECT??)5) And await a new sink so we can use the dryer in the kitchen6) I made a chocolate cake (which looks nothing like the photo. Mine is 100% Betty Crocker. And crooked)7) I get up 2x a night for bathroom breaks8) Newly sprouting back pain9) Survived going to Glasgow's Baby Show where I saw many things I never want10)Now sporting new (too much info?) maternity brassiere and belly band, which is like a big tube top that you wear on your hips to disguise that you can't button your pants. (Where has this invention BEEN?)

With my deep ignorance (OK, disdain) of all things DIY. I could not marry my image of a sweet and clean and safe and serene baby room with this ... place.

Mark, my dear dear, knew otherwise. And has been sketching and planning, and measuring and head scratching on how to store, declutter, or otherwise account for all of these things in our life and flat while making this the room we want. Bless him, for that is just the kind of thing that makes me want to pull all the covers over my head. (Can the baby just sleep in the sock drawer?)

So last weekend, we began.

We have a loft, which for you North Americans is called an attic. Great. But we also have like 16 foot ceilings and a 15 foot ladder. and the hatch for the loft is little. And in the bathroom.

So Mark BRAVELY and inexplicably hatched the brain child to Build A Better Loft Hatch. In the "baby room". Which meant Creating A Hole In the Ceiling. On Purpose.

This, I could not get my head around. How? What do you mean? Do you know HOW to? Do you need to call your Dad? Look online?

OH, I should know by now, that Mark figures things out.

2 days later, and 8 million times filthier, (Our building is like 200 years old and had that much soot and dirt up there) We have a new hole. And it looks like it should. And we managed to off load an old TV, old desk chair to new homes and chucked MANY of the offending cluttering things up into the new storage of UP There. Where I predict we will leave everything until we move again.

Unfortunately, we also acquired a Near Hole. In the hallway. Where Mark's foot slipped off the beam and crunched into the ceiling.

So the room is not done. It will require building a new cupboard for the tools. And a new wardrobe/closet for the kid. And a new sink for the kitchen. (Sigh, so we can move the dryer. don't even ask) And paint. (The walls now being Dirt Coloured)

Wednesday, 15 April 2009

So, here I am, almost 16 weeks into this gig of pregnancy. Nothing to "do" about it except take care of myself. Doing all the proscribed 'right' things -- no booze, caffeine, nitrates, raw things, medications, soft cheese, etc. Lots of sleeping, lots of walking, started prenatal yoga.

CHECK. CHECK. CHECK.

And we have LOADS of time before we really have to have things done and dusted, baby room-wise.

So, yay for me! TIME! Freedom! Things I hear are mighty scarce once one becomes a new parent. Never to sleep as soundly again. I so so so get that. So we have 2 mini trips planned. And see movies. And go out into the world. And be loud.

So why do I not feel really free? I feel like I am pacing inside. Preoccupied. Now that I am latched on firmly to the notion of growing a person and then becoming a mother to the person, most other things seem to pale a bit. It is like knowing you have a REALLY BIG party to go to and you are excited and nervous and wonder what it will be like. And it isn't for another 5 months.

It is the preparty equivalent of obsessing about What to Wear and Over Applying Lipstick.

I think I need some living to kick me into realizing that this is it.

I need to get out of my navel. The baby will grow without my furrowed brow and one track mind.

Time for those trips away to change up the scenery and expand my mind along with my belly!

Tuesday, 7 April 2009

Sunday, 5 April 2009

So, we went to do a little "perusing" of nursery furniture today at John Lewis. You know, Looking.

And as we viewed the 1 zillion different kind of prams (that is stroller to you US folks) and cribs v moses baskets, v cots, v everything else, I felt a shift. No not in there, but in our perception.

Mark was taking the iCandy Transportation System for a spin down the store aisle and I think it hit us both simultaneously that soon we would be Needing These Things. Using These Things. As Parents.

It kind of felt like we were posing. New kids in the Parenthood store. Not really knowing what we are looking at. Or what questions to ask.

I guess we are still feeling sometimes like maybe I just had a big lunch and am crabby and need bigger jeans. I forget that I am Really Pregnant. Or, moreover, we will eventually *hopefully* have a kid at the end of this funny experiment.

More scans and a few tests ought to hammer it home. As does my heartburn and giant gut. And lack of caffeine. And huffing and puffing as we head up the last of our 2 flights of stairs to our flat. (the last 5 steps are a doozey)

The exciting part is starting and that is, well, exciting. Thinking about the colors and the cute onesies, and cute toys. And I am hoping the incredulous and wonder stays a bit longer. It is still fun to be naive. I know it won't be easy. At All. I hold no illusions of that. So for now, the dreamy state feels like being engaged. No need to worry about the marriage yet.

But mostly, what has been taking up most of my time, psychic energy and all my physical and mental and emotional real estate has been ...

Sleeping

Feeling like I was run over by a truck

Napping

Padding around in soft clothes eating cereal

Being on the edge of barfing

Because, yes, many of you know and if you don't you may have surmised, I am pregnant!

I found out on my actual birthday and my first trimester was consumed with my very own self. I know I could have been blogging about all the other nice things happening, but since I knew I couldn't go public, I created a self imposed gag order.

Cat outta the bag. I am almost 14 weeks along the way, feeling more like myself and starting to have the news really take purchase in my brain. It is time to get excited! Which we are. In batches between slight freak out and wonderment.

Taking it all in stages and not at the point where I can watch any Discovery Channel "Extreme Labor" or "Baby Stories" yet because the end game still makes me woozy. For now I am happy to stay awake all day, have an appetite, go out into the world and be active, and watch my belly grow.

I promise not to make this blog all about pregnancy nay about parenthood.

I hope it, as I, remain still my own person with a brain and interests and things to say.

me

American WI girl goes DC goes UK.
Happily wed to my English lad, living on a clean slate of a new career as a life coach and my real job of parenting 2 sweethearts. I am here to live on purpose and to speak my irreverent truth.