if i ever push you away, i don't really mean to.when i tell you i don't want to talk about it, i do, i am just looking for the right words.give me a minute, and if i can tell you; i will.i try to be a struggling mix of real and perfect at the same time.at the moment,i am working on the ratio.when i get really quietit is because i have too much to say i have thought of too many things to tell you all at once and i don't know what to say first.i get immaturely jealous of anyone who gets to see you on a daily basis.i miss you really easily.but i also like that we can be apart and we are both okay. space is good too.i love the way we love some of the same things. and i love how we love entirely different things.my head is a complicated pile of thoughts, and fears, and cravings, and dreams, and this tangled up nostalgia for the past, and somehow, the future.i am flawed and i am human and i am broken and i am trying. and i am one person and i am two hands and i am one heart.and i love you.and i am so glad you are here.