There we are, just two pals catching up, and I glance to the left at the “Who To Follow” pane and see “PantyO.”

Like I’m not gonna look at PantyO. Please.

Of course I had to look at PantyO.

Then I see they have almost 209K followers and I had to go one step further and check out their site. I’m a little frightened by their product, but very, very intrigued.

I bring you PantyO: The Original Kegel Exercise Panty

Their product description:

The pantyO Kegel Exercise Extension is what makes pantyO unique!! The pantyO Kegel Exercise Extension (approximately one inch in height) is sewn into the crotch of the panty. When wearing the panty, the extension is inserted vaginally and provides a “focus” point for you while performing your Kegel exercises while squeezing on the extension.

Well I saw that photo and freaked out a little at the idea of walking around trying to “focus” on a one inch insert all day long. That seems a little…distracting.

Note: I also thought the insert was the Swarovski crystal they were referencing (see cute glittery accents in top photo…oops). Keep that in mind as you read on…

My rant to Hubby:

Me: WOWZERS. Would you look at this insert thing?!

Him: Whoa. I sure hope that’s a smooth crystal.

Me: I’m torn between my yen to cure Mom Bladder and a Fear of the Insertion Point, if you know what I mean. I just don’t know if I’m ready for this Kegel Exercise Extension thingie. It sounds a bit daunting, like jumping from Jazzercize straight up to Crossfit.

I mean, maybe I need to start a bit lower on the Kegel chain and try some sort of beginner’s Kegel model first. *waggled eyebrows at my honey*

Him: You mean, like a tricycle or training wheels for the hoo-hah?

Me: Well something not as hard and permanent-sounding as a Swarovski crystal! I think the vajayjay needs to start with some less chi-chi material like silicone or plastic. Once it’s mastered the lesser model, we can work up to the Swarovski.

I’m not sure how much these babies cost, but I’m going with the price on the Product page: $42.50. (The home page lists them as $85.00.) However, there’s free shipping to make me feel better about the extra $35 I’m spending per pair. I don’t get that nifty KEE on my everyday undies, you know.

Perhaps I’ll add these to next year’s list of New Year’s Resolutions:Devise regimen to train the hoo-hah up for the PantyO.

You know what this means, right?

I’d better put together a damn good regimen. The problem is, I usually forget about those resolutions after about a month. It would be dreadful to get the CooCat all fit, and then let all her training be for naught, don’t you think?

I’ll have to set reminders all around my house. Catchy little ditties like: Yo-Ho-Ho, don’t forget the PantyO. Or Yoo-hoo…TRAIN YOUR COO! (I could go on like this all day.)

Maybe I’ll just get a sweatshirt that says, Ho in Training. I’ll be like Rocky, but with the PantyO, instead of Apollo Creed. Since I’m a software trainer by day, that jacket would be useful forever.

Had you already heard about PantyO’s? Are you intrigued enough for the price tag or do you plan to keep your current training regimen? What other fancy messages have you received from the Undie-verse lately? Do you have any slogans to add to my list of training ditties? Enquiring minds always love to know these things here at More Cowbell!

53 Responses to Undie Chronicles, Vol. 15: Be a Better Ho with PantyO!

Trust More Cowbell to keep us updated with news from the Undie-verse! We rely on you Jenny … and every single coffee-snort and guffaw is appreciated! Excuse me while I clean my computer screen and spend some time considering a slogan … just the diversion needed this morning! Thanks!

YOU KNOW I love me the PantyOs!!! I wrote about how “tighter is better” last year http://nataliehartford.com/2012/07/17/kegel-panties-because-tighter-is-better/
It is the panty that packs a punch, thasss for sure! I’ve been meaning to order some in to give as baby shower gifts but I am not sure how “accepting” the gals would be. ROFL!!! Thanks for reminding me of this gem of an undergarment! LUV IT!

Enlightening (for males) as always and educational. I’m not sure is this object hard like, ahem, solid or flexible? Something with a little give would make initial use a bit easier. Thanks for helping with research, should I ever need it.

God, I love this blog! Where else would I find out about these “womanly” things? Now I know what to get all the sexy ladies in my life as birthday and Christmas presents! Oh yeah, might make a good wedding present too!

So how strange is it that these kegel panties had me thinking Night Court and Dan Fielding? This sort of thing seemed right up his alley. LOL!

As there are people that walk around with plugs in even more delicate places down south, I’m pretty sure you’d be able to survive thie Panty-O fitness regime if you chose to create one for you. I’m also positive that there are a bunch of us on here who would be happy to create little reminder ditties for you…;-)

I haven’t read all the comments, so someone might have already mentioned this, but my first thought was…SEWN in? How in the heck would you clean those? I can just see forgetting forgetting they were in the washer and saying, “Hey, son…I’m in the middle of fixing supper, can you go throw the clothes in the dryer please.”

And what about the folks who go to the laundromat? You just have to know that if you’re going to drop something on the floor, it would wind up being the PantyO. And of course if you were going to drop it, it would be when everyone in town who doesn’t own a washer and dryer decided they needed to wash their clothes, too.

My other thought was, what if you were in the middle of a meeting, choked on your coffee…and your muscles weren’t strong enough yet to keep it in place? I’m thinking a bow-legged cowboy walk to the bathroom for a quick adjustment might make for some interesting office gossip though.

Last thought was the warning every mother has given to every kid. No matter how clean they might be, PantyO’s are not exactly what dear old mom had in mind when she harped at you to always wear clean underwear – because you just never know what’s going to happen. Say you sit on a broken piece of glass, jump up and knock yourself out when you slip in all the blood. Someone will call an ambulance so you can be taken to the emergency room. Once you arrive, you’re going to need stitches, meaning someone who ISN’T unconscious is going to have to remove those suckers…and then things might get stitched up that shouldn’t be stitched up because the doctor is laughing his ass off over your choice of undergarments.

All in all I’m thinking I’d have to pass on this innovative invention. There are better things to practice your Kegels on. 😉

The title itself has me in deep belly laughs…but this is my thought.What happens if your underwear explode?picture this,your on a crowded bud there’s a loud POP,and next thing your crotch is all ..well gross… hello 911? we have a lady on the bus who’s um,,,um,,, down south exploded..or they think your water broke and your not expecting. Recall the water bra? the episode on Will and Grace,her bra gets punctured and her breast is spraying everyone…. LAUGHING TO HARD TO CONTINUE