Is it really true that men think about sex every twenty seconds, or is that just a rumor to make them seem even worse than they really are? I don’t know if there is any truth in this or not, and I certainly don’t wish to find out; likewise I don’t want to know how often women think about sex in one form or another because, to be honest, it makes no real difference at all. It’s enough to know that we – as a species – do think about sex a great deal, even if it’s just a fleeting moment as we see and register something which might turn our minds and thoughts given more time and the opportunity.

I wonder, though, how many women, when thinking about sex, consider the sex act with another person.

Now, this may be strange, but for some women – and perhaps some men too – sex is far better when you’re alone. Or, to put it better, when you are performing on yourself. You don’t have to be alone to gain intense pleasure through sex, for some people being watched is as much of a turn on as the actual act, as masturbating. For others being masturbated or played with by another person is the ideal. We all have our thing, we all have our pleasures.

Of course, sex is not just the act, the physical, it has a great deal to do with the imagination – as I am constantly saying / writing – and also something to do with the performance too. I’m not going to start a rant about how men are more interested in themselves and tend to forget their partner, or how bad some men are; there are women who are just the same, luckily I’ve not had one yet! – and I don’t exactly have a great deal of experience with men any way, as you all know.

We have our toys and, because the bulk of us know our bodies and our needs far better than anyone else can, we know exactly how to use them to the best effect. We know how to bring ourselves up to that pinnacle and stay there, how to time things perfectly, how to stop and re-start at just the right moment and then, when we’re ready, let the whole world disappear in a mass of feeling, pleasure, whatever you care to call it: orgasm.

And it’s not as if there isn’t a massive sex industry designed exclusively to bring pleasure to women. It may well once have been just a man’s world, as far as pornographic magazines, stories and web sites are concerned, but now many have come to see that the woman are by far the greater customers. Go into any sex shop you care to name, and you’ll find more toys geared to pleasure for women than anything else, whether they are alone or together with one – or more – person. No questions, no bad thoughts, just a range of wonderful things made exclusively for us.

It still comes as something of a surprise to me when men claim that a woman cannot live, cannot gain pleasure without a man. I can only imagine that they have had absolutely no experience whatsoever or, perhaps, have simply closed their eyes to the truth. But, as I said, this is not a rant against men. Rather it is a little commentary on reactions.

That moment in a person’s life when they discover that, surprise surprise, they have competition. Just look at the expression on his face! I’ll bet you anything you want he isn’t taking a photograph of his own toys!

Not that it is really competition as such, not really. I mean, when it comes to gaining pleasure, reaching that high point through any means possible, we can do it better ourselves. So, don’t be all that surprised when you suddenly discover that your lover – male or female – or that person you met last night and had a little after-drinks fun with, has a good selection of real toys. They’re there for a purpose. Learn to live with it, take advantage of it, try it yourself.

That last little toy on the right, for example, is good for men too. Not that they can’t use the other toys as well, but a butt plug is as good a start as anything!

Love & Kisses, Viki.

Photo Sources: vaniks, 2photo, Tumblr.

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3 Comments

Who knows us better then ourselves? Our wants, our needs our desires or just how to hit that right spot. We are our own best lover. Of course sharing that with another is great. And I can think of nothing better the sharing the experience together watching as we perform. That is perfect.

I guess it depends on how that figure of every 20 seconds is calculated. Perhaps it is an average over a given period, maybe several days or weeks? I’m sure when I’m working or concentrating on other things I don’t think about sex for hours. At other times, in an intimate situation for example, I might think about it for several hours none stop. Averaged together this could come up with such a silly statistic.

Sex consists of physical and emotional feelings. Most men are quite happy with the physical and can detach this from the emotional. Which means they can enjoy sex with someone they don’t even know. However, most women need the emotional to enjoy the physical, which generally makes them more monogamous. I think these traits are genetic and probably stem from the way ape tribes live(d). Pairing is generally thought to be something invented as ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œmodernÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â social life evolved. I donÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t think this necessarily means men are intentionally selfish, but they must learn to control it and be considerate to their partner. The astute lover whether male of female soon learns that love making is a two way deal. The more one gives, the more one gets back.

Equally the idea that a woman needs a man is probably due to society and the ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œnestingÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â desire for a woman to make a ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œhomeÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â to nurture her offspring. Once impregnated, a female only needs the male to bring home the food.

Enjoying being watched whilst masturbating gives the masturbator a feeling of power and control over the voyeur. If a man is watching a woman (or male partner) his physical reaction (erection) is plain to see. Probably a little closer inspection is needed to see a similar reaction of a woman.