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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach

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"PREFERABLY FOR JORDAN 1314 ONLY"
I have done some research

Resolved Question:

"PREFERABLY FOR JORDAN 1314 ONLY"

I have done some research on Susana Wesley. She had 19 children. She would on a rotation basis spend an hour with each child everyday without fail to counsel them and teach them. She would like ask them "How are you doing?" "How has life treated you since I last spoke with you?" "Are you facing a problem?" "Do you have any questions about life, etiquette, God, The Bible, etc.?" And based on what the child would respond, the hour was spent on teaching, counseling, and praying for that child on those particular things. I reckon if the child had no questions, then Mrs. Wesley would pick a topic to talk about, possibly about any weaknesses that Mrs. Wesley would have witnessed as far as that particular child was concerned. Otherwise, Mrs. Wesley would probably just pick a topic from The Bible to talk about. That was Susana Wesley.

With that said, I now want to digress to parents that respond "because I said so" when a child asks why? and parents that teach "Do as I say and not as I do."

Let's suppose John and Joe were born on the same day. Let's say that John had parents like Susana Wesley and Joe had Because I said so and Do as I say and not as I do parents. Let's say that Joe always had pure motives in everything he did. And when his parents ordered him not to do it, because Joe honestly didn't see anything wrong with what he was doing, he respectfully XXXXX XXXXX? And then that is when his parents would always respond "Because I said so." Shouldn't Joe's parents be like Susana Wesley?

By the time John and Joe turn 15, isn't John in better shape than Joe after 15 years of parenting under these circumstances?

Yes, you are correct in the fact that Joe's parents need to be like Susana Wesley. Open and honest communication from an early age is essential. Parents need to be authority figures but not dictators. When children are allowed to express their feelings and concerns like in the case of Susana Wesley, they will feel more valued, respected and develop a great sense of belongingness within the family unit. Their self esteem will increase also.

When John and Joe turned 15, John would probably be in a much better emotional state than Joe. He would be more willing to discuss issues with his parents and obey as well as accept rules with the necessary consequences. Because Joe would not have had much say during his development, he would be more likely to manifest rebellious behavior as he attempts to assert his independence. He would be more apt to be influenced by peers and probably socialize with the wrong crowd. Joe may also become very introverted and not want to socialize with anyone if he was not able to fit in with his peers. The relationship with his parents would be very weak.

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