Volkswagens are arguably the most unreliable vehicles on the road to date. Initially engineered by a political regime predicated upon the hatred of Jewish people, these vehicles pose a threat to motorists all over the world. There is much confusion over the origins of the word “toxic asset”, but most people have now come to accept that it was coined by Volkswagen mechanics. If you ever do experience engine failure, there is usually no need to call emergency services as the plume of black smoke emanating from the engine bay is usually enough to alert the authorities. Some of the other pleasantries one can experience with Volkswagen ownership are extensive understanding of engine related diagnostics procedures and a heightened sense of a mechanical aptitude. Most Volkswagen owners can usually pass the Automotive Service Excellence exam in under 15 minutes on their first try. Even more disappointing than Volkswagen’s reliability, the interior of these cars is more frail than an osteoporosis patient – it is akin to entirely furnishing your house with IKEA furniture. Most owners have reported that once they purchased the car from an accredited Volkswagen dealer, the dealership disappeared over night. The causes for this behavior are well documented; most dealerships do not want to explain to customers why the car burst into flames, the radio does not work, the transmission slips, the airbags never deployed or why Volkswagen is number 1 in the auto industry for recalls.

Honda Owner: "Wow, I only spent $30 to get my sparkplugs replaced!"
Volkswagen Owner: "Good for you. I had to take a second mortgage on my house to repair that VW fag-backet in my drive way".

One of the best car companies of all time. Starting with the Beetle, they continually fired out proven winners with the Scirocco, Vanagon, Karman Ghia and later with the Golf/GTI and Jetta. Time and time again, they've continued to find success with both younger and older generations, instilling a sense of family and comradrie in the drivers, similar to that found in Jeep owners. Most Volkswagen owners who take their cars seriously gain valuable insight into the world of German engineering, tweaking the lines of their cars to both increase their overall performance and retain an impressive and distinct style at the same time.

I just picked up an R32... and blew the unpainted body kit off of a 1991 Civic that attempted to race me.

The act of spending all or most of one's weekly/bi-weekly/monthly/anuall income on an automobile who continues to draw your love and compassion. Volkswagen owners are usually unaware of the amount of compensation given. They will always deny any shortcomings regarding their car.

A car company that proves that you can overcome anything. Volkswagen succeeded and became one of the biggest car manufacurers in the world despite the fact that it was used as propaganda by Hitler to help take over the world