Dismay for 'gadget-geeks' as world keeps turning

Thousands of incredibly important people who queued for hours to buy the new iPad awoke bitterly disappointed the next day to find the world outside their bubble had not actually altered at all.
'It's obscene, I feel completely let down by the whole affair' said Harvey Boothroyd a fashion designer from Islington who had queued with friends outside the Apple store in Oxford Street overnight 'I was one of the first in the whole of the UK to get an iPad and yet I still had to wait in line for coffee in Starbucks, now that clearly isn't right.
Even worse, I took the tube from Belsize Park to Russell Square during rush hour and not once did anybody offer me their seat, even though I was clearly holding an expensive and exclusive looking iPad. The journey should have been extra special but it was a nightmare from beginning to end.
I did get some admiring glances from a young man who got on at King's Cross, but he just wanted to touch my bottom.
Apple should have gone to greater lenghts to emphasise how empty everybody's life would be without an iPad.
My giddy aunt, there's a neanderthal at work who hasn't even bothered to get a Wi-Fi 3G data connection for his old touch pad iPhone yet.
How April 2010 is that'.
The story was the same in cities throughout the UK, where countless millions who couldn't be arsed to get an iPad or didn't even know it was for sale - or didn't know what it was - or didn't even want to know what it was, were still somehow going about their daily business seemingly unaffected by not either being admired or envied by total strangers passing them by in the street.
'The iPad was fun while it lasted, but I can't wait for the next generation to come out.' said Mr. Boothroyd ' and yes, you can touch my bottom if you want to'.