Commentary: Coyote nips

Just before sundown, the portly reporter walks north on Wonderland Trail. He looks west for movement in the gullies and brush; seeing nothing he keeps moving.

Just before the southern leg of Old Kiln Trail he stops again and listens.

"Over here Scribe," says the large, female coyote.

"Hey Dog,"

"Good to see you," she says as she walks with him, "What's up?"

"I'm working a coyote attacks story."

"Great, see ya," she says loping away.

"No wait, I just want the coyote side of the story."

They walk on a bit further in silence. Then coyote turns and nips the side of the reporter's jacket, who stops to look at his friend.

"Nobody would believe that you interviewed a coyote," she says.

"Sure they would Dog, it's Boulder -- folks believe just about anything around here."

"Yeah Scribe, you're right. Yesterday this guy was walking my trail with a huge smile on his face mumbling something. Must have finally seen his deity's navel."

"So let's start there," says the reporter, "You said 'my trail' like you own this trail."

"I do," says the coyote, "my family has owned this trail for hundreds of years."

"How would anyone know that?"

"If you see scat on the trail, it's owned by a coyote."

"So if you own this trail, does that mean you are willing to attack people to get them off your trail?"

"Whoa Scribe, too many assumptions."

The reporter and the coyote move off the trail and sit down on some rocks.

Advertisement

"So if some scofflaw on a $5,000 bike blasted down your trail, heedless of anyone else, wouldn't you be tempted to nip him?" asks the coyote.

"Dog, I ride a bike, it's dangerous on the roads."

"I know that. But these are multi-use trails we're talking about -- they don't belong to just spandex boys with shaved legs."

"Okay, there are some jerks on bikes, however, one victim was a commuter, probably going at a moderate speed," notes the reporter.

"Yeah," the coyote says, "but you used the word jerk. Do you suppose that out of the 100 or so coyotes in East Boulder there isn't a jerk or two?"

"So you are saying that these attacks are by a bad coyote?"

"Could be," says the coyote, "But these aren't attacks."

"What do you mean Dog, the coyotes were trying to bite people."

"No, it's hazing," says the coyote, "the coyote jerk probably just wanted the cyclist to slow down by nipping at him. It wasn't an attack. A coyote attack would be to bite the achilles or calf."

"Okay, I get the territoriality theory and the occasional jerk coyote idea makes sense to me. But what about the attacks on people with dogs?" asks the reporter.

"Remember, these aren't attacks, they're hazing. Not many people are conscious enough of the world around them to talk to coyotes. But dogs and coyotes talk all the time."

"No way."

"Yeah, " says the coyote, "and imagine some smart-assed mutt talking trash to the local coyote because he knows the coyote won't respond with a human around."

"That's a little far fetched," says the reporter.

"Some of the dogs on Wonderland Trail talk trash to us."

"But you don't go down and 'haze' them do you?" asks the reporter.

"Nope, you'll find a little higher class coyote here on the west side of town."

"So what do you do?"

"We can smell where they live. A little judicious howling in their neighborhood at 2 a.m. usually does the trick."

"Okay, so I sort of buy your claim about hazing. Speaking of which, what do you think of the hazing by the rangers in East Boulder?"

"It's just nuts," says the coyote. "It's just a waste of time. We know it and so do the rangers. Besides, we think of most of the rangers as friends. Some even talk to us when they are out on patrol, particularly when they think no one is watching."

The reporter stretches and looks at the coyote, "Thanks," he says, "I've got to get back to work."

"So are you going to tell the city editor that you just interviewed a coyote?

"Ah, no, that wouldn't exactly fly, but I'll figure a way to get your thoughts out."

"Good, you do that," She lopes a couple steps away, turns and says, "And while you are at it Scribe, please tell whoever left the burritos out east that we love burritos up here on the Wonderland Trail."

Alan Stark is a senior correspondent for Mountain Gazette, mountaingazette.com, and a Boulder resident.

Weight loss journey culminates in long awaited state titleDENVER — Mason Watt's story is inspirational.
He took it upon himself to change himself, both body — losing over 100 pounds — and mind. Full Story

The Boulder alt-country band gives its EPs names such as Death and Resurrection, and its songs bear the mark of hard truths and sin. But the punk energy behind the playing, and the sense that it's all in good fun, make it OK to dance to a song like "Death." Full Story