Well, hello blog. It’s been a few days. Here are some tidbits that are just vague enough to either be confusing and unrelatable, or universally understood. You decide. Sometimes my inner beeyotch just has to come out, but never to who needs to hear it. I just smile and bend over backward. Eventually, it has to come out, and usually in this form … only, usually, not publically.

Passive-aggressiveness should not be allowed in the workplace.

Putting in one’s two weeks notice means, “I will no longer be employed at your establishment after two weeks.” Not, “Sure, I’ll pick up extra hours because you’ve continued to put me on the schedule two weeks after my two weeks notice.”

What is this “fluff” criticism crap? I like fluff. It’s a welcome distraction from how much people can suck. Fluff is not here to harm, it’s here to make people happy. Maybe everyone could use some more fluff.

Some people just never get the hint.

I’m sacrificing what small semblance of a life I’m currently grasping on to, is there anything else I can do for you? (The answer is always yes. I’ve learned the hard way to stop phrasing this in the form of a question … which goes into effect after this morning, when I did phrase it in the form of a question.)

Hot coffee, when given the chance, will always spill. Same with most other liquids. This also applies metaphorically.

On a related note, don’t leave that hot coffee alone too long. It gets cold really fast. That can be metaphorical, too, if you want it to.

Jack Johnson was mostly right. “Maybe” always means “no.” Same with a lack of response. It sucks to be on the receiving end, but, as mentioned earlier, other people need to also learn to take the hint.

People will generally make stupid, unwarranted, uninformed comments on most things you post online. YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW.

There’s never such a thing as too much time. Or too much money. And, unfortunately, the two are not friends.

I wish I had nothing better to do than sit around in coffee shops being pretentious.

There’s only so much one can do before they reach the point of *metaphorical brain explosion*. This is characterized by silence, glazed over eyes, and extreme lack of motivation. This person requires a recovery period, or more caffeine.

I only wish a kitty was the source of my brain explosions.

A teeny bit of consideration can go a long way.

Those people who never get the hint? They’ll really rub it in your face that they don’t get the hint. It’s karma’s way of punishing you for not just spouting off to them. I’m currently suffering a terrible punishment.

Haters gon’ hate. Control freaks gon’ control. And the rest of us just have to deal with them apparently. I deal by writing long, bitchy e-mails to said Control Freak and then never sending them. Passive aggressive? Kinda. Therapeutic? Absolutely.

Just because someone isn’t working for you at the moment doesn’t mean they’re just sitting on their ass in a beanbag in front of the TV eating bon bons and getting fatter. Don’t assume they’re not working somewhere else.

Instructors of online classes should still make an effort to be a fricking teacher. You know, answering voicemails, e-mails, grading assignments before the last week of class …

It’s dangerous to bank on it not raining.

Don’t pass up an awesome deal because you assume it’ll still be there when you have more wiggle room in your wallet to buy it. When the time comes, the price goes.

Can I take back all the hours I never took naps as a child and use them now?

Weekends are never long enough.

Anxiety is more often used for evil than good.

There’s a fine line between pointing out errors in work to be helpful and being completely obnoxious.

Wow … and your computer will always short-circuit, displaying a huge error message that basically says, “You’re screwed” every time you’re in the middle of something important. Every. Time.

If I had a little more energy, I could have probably cleverly weaved these bullet points into a crafty little post. But I don’t, so this is what you get.

This blog post was hilarious, and all universally understood – do you write stuff down in a notebook? And I get this feeling that you just quit your job… and the boss wouldn’t take the hint… this seems like lessons of personal experience. Which is possibly why they’re so funny. It’s circular, you see?