There's too much awkward silence when it comes to old and
young. It's time to start a conversation.

One of my core passions is training younger Christians.
Whether I'm doing an online Bible study with a friend overseas or taking a
couple of guys with me on a mission trip, relational discipleship has become a
priority now that I'm older. Young leaders need more than stuffy talking heads
who just preach at them from acrylic pulpits; they want approachable mothers
and fathers who will share a meal, listen, ask questions and invite co-equal
participation.

Shyju Matthew is a young leader I met last year in India.
Based in Bangalore, he serves on the staff at Bethel Assembly of God Church.
He's only 24, but Shyju conducts evangelistic events around the globe. He has
exceptional maturity and spiritual anointing. Yet he recognizes his need for
input from the older generation. In fact, he seeks it out.

"We are often blind to the discrimination that exists between old and young.
Ageism is a reality, and it works both ways."

My correspondence with Shyju made me realize that a huge
generation gap exists in the American church. In many sectors, old and young
simply don't communicate. There has been a serious discipleship breakdown.
We're suspicious of each other. Emerging Christian leaders have created their
own trendy culture, complete with buzzwords, technological savvy and rock star
pastors. And some older leaders are stuck in boring ruts of tradition.

Shyju Matthew

We're drifting apart. I'm concerned that if the
generations don't link arms and start working together, this chasm will widen.
And the result will be huge lost opportunities for the gospel.

Last weekend Shyju sent me a list of simple questions
about life and ministry. He asked if I could e-mail him answers that he could
pass on to his friends. Here's a short snippet of our conversation, which I'm
sharing in hopes that this kind of dialog can become more common:

advertisement

Q. What's the most important advice you could share
with a young leader?

A. Avoid pride at all costs. Don't let the devil
convince you that you are so great. No matter how anointed you are, no matter
how many people are healed in your meetings, and no matter how many fans are
begging for your autograph, realize that you are young, inexperienced and
immature.

Stay humble. Don't ever get to the place that you
can't take out the garbage or clean the toilets in the church. The moment you
are too "powerful" to do those things is the moment the devil will have you on
his leash. This is the main reason leaders fall into moral failure.

If people are trying to make you a Christian
celebrity, run the other direction! Don't let that haughty spirit anywhere near
you. Jesus was a servant and He washed His disciples' feet. If you can't do
that, you have no business being in the ministry.

Q: Who is the one person who most helped to shape
your leadership, and how did they help you?

A: I have several mentors. One man, Barry, discipled
me when I was a teenager. He hosted a Bible study in his home and spent a lot
of time with me during my high school years. Even though he was a busy minister
he invested a lot of his time in young people. He is still involved in my life
today. He is like a spiritual father. He modeled for me the concept of a
Paul/Timothy relationship.

Another mentor, Doug, prays with me about important
ministry decisions and is always available for counsel. And I have another
close friend, a pastor named Chris, who is both a mentor and an accountability
partner. This man knows everything about me, including all my faults and
weaknesses. He asks me the "hard questions" about my attitudes, my thought life
and my marriage—and he's willing to challenge me. These kinds of relationships
are so important if we want to grow spiritually.

Q: Who else has helped shape the way you view life and ministry?

A. I have built some very
meaningful relationships with leaders from other nations. One of them is Mosy
Madugba, an apostolic leader from Nigeria. Even though he has seen many
miracles in his ministry, what caught my attention was his humility. I have
also become close to an evangelist from India, Harry Gomes, who is based in
Coimbatore. Harry has spoken into my life at key times. He prays for me and has
been a huge encouragement. And he has helped me to understand how church
leaders outside the United States are thinking. It is so important for us to
gain a world perspective. We cannot be effective leaders today if we don't think
outside our own cultural context.

I'm praying that this kind of
back-and-forth sharing will happen on a wide scale between old and young. We
have a lot to learn from each other. (I'm planning to send him my own list
of questions because I want to learn
from him.)

Most of us recognize the absolute
necessity of breaking racial barriers in the church, and a growing number of
churches are challenging gender prejudice. Yet we are often blind to the
discrimination that exists between old and young. Ageism is a reality, and it
works both ways.

When the Holy Spirit was poured out
on the early church, Peter declared that both old and young would receive
supernatural power. "Your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall
dream dreams," he said, quoting the prophet Joel (Acts 2:17b, NASB). Implied in
that promise is the idea that God wants the generations to work together. If we
want to experience that same level of anointing today, we must end this awkward
stalemate, reach out to each other and bridge the gap.

J. Lee Grady is editor of Charisma. You can find him on Twitter at leegrady. He will be one
of many leaders speaking at Empowered 21, a conference designed to bring older
and younger Christians together. For more information about Empowered 21, to be
held April 8-10 in Tulsa, Okla., click here.

Your Turn

Please be considerate and respectful of your fellow posters. If Jesus and your mother would not approve of your writing, you should revise your comment before submitting.

Use standard writing style and punctuation. Complete sentences and proper grammar will help others understand you.

Do not use profanity, obscenities, abusive language or otherwise objectionable content (as determined by Charisma Media moderators, in their sole discretion). Comments should not harass, abuse or threaten another's personal safety or property, make false statements, defame or impersonate someone else.

Do not question others' faith just because you disagree with them. It adds nothing to the discussion and only causes strife.

Do not question why someone comes to this website just because they disagree with you or the content of the article.

Do not post personal information including phone numbers, email or mailing addresses, or credit card information belonging to you or others.

Do not include copyrighted content or other intellectual property that you do not own or have the explicit rights or lisenses to distribute.

Do not post, directly or through links, viruses, misleading, malicious or off-topic content.

Please consider the following statements pertaining to comments posted by you and other visitors to our website:

Appearance of comments, advertisements or hyperlinks made by other commenters on this site do not necessarily indicate or constitute acceptance of or endorsement of the products, companies, corporations, ministries, organizations or agencies in whole or in part by staff members and/or the members of the editorial board of Charisma Media.

Comments are not pre-screened before they post. Charisma Media reserves the right to modify or remove any comment that does not comply with the above guidelines and to deny access of your Disqus account to make additional comments to the website without any notice. If you have been denied access to comment due to a violation of these terms please do not create multiple accounts in an attempt to circumvent the system. The correct course of action is to request a review of your account status by contacting webmaster@charismamedia.com.

Charisma Media is not responsible or liable in any way for comments posted by its users.

If you believe a comment is in violation of the above guidelines, U.S. law or International treaties, or is legitimate "trolling" please flag the post or contact webmaster@charismamedia.com. Include a link to the comment, along with a statement explaining what you believe the violation is and any evidence backing your claim. Charisma Media moderators will consider your request and decide on the most appropriate action.