A Gen-X songwriter shares tales from the road

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It’s the day after Thanksgiving and I am sitting in the bar of this hotel speaking with friends I’ve met over the past few years. This hotel is north of perogy line (The Yellowhead Highway) in Manitoba, Canada. I don’t want to tell the name of it is as I believe it will be better off left to your imagination. I can assure you with every last breath that it exists and the people are real. Real Ukranians inhabit the town. Farmers, fisherman, drinkers, dancers, First Nations folks, gamblers, singers, hunters, artists and even some Methodists.

I’ve performed in this hotel six times now. When I started I wouldn’t play my serious pull-at-your-heart-strings story telling songs, nor my irreverent comic-riffing Jake Rivers songs. No I started with Cash and Prine, Kristofferson and the like. The songs found their natural home in these walls among these bar-flies. ‘ANOTHER ROUND OF DRINKS FOR ALL MY FRIENDS!’
It began when I was stranded out here due to a gig cancellation. Another musician suggested I contact the owner and she would likely help me out. She did. I came – I played – I stayed.
Now it seems that every time I pass through, I am afforded the luxury of a few days off to come and play then meet the town. Recently, the band has been playing and staying. They feel the same way. The hotel, the people and the village are something special. Hell, I had my first ever moonshine experience here. Likely the reason I lost the love of my life…but oh well…no big deal right?

The band has returned home for the week leaving me to stay in this small room atop the hotel bar. Donnie and Shelley return next weekend for the final show of this tour. I often tell people from the stage that we did 175 shows this year – in a way I say this to remind them that this blank squirrelly stare plastered onto my road weary face is just a by-product of too much fun, too many miles and not enough time.

You see it goes like this:
Wake up at 10:30am in the Costa-Lessa Motel. Call the front desk to beg for an extended hour before check-out. Brew up the stale coffee and eat a three day old banana. Discuss with your band mates who wants to make the run to the motel office to raid some oatmeal packs and war surplus apples. Load up the gear into the vehicle, punch in the next address and hit the highway. Drive anywhere for one hour to five hours stopping along the way for more sodium infused snacks and tepid gas station coffee. Car rides are dotted with a lot of silence where we all retreat into our private worlds. A sanctuary of beautiful thoughts awaits us there. We think about our loved ones back home, our loved ones last night or what may become of the day ahead. This constant living in the moment is such an engaged feeling that often days slip into years without realizing that the time has evaporated so quickly? For example, last week we argued whether we’d played THAT venue two years ago or just last year. The argument raged on for ten full minutes until someone pulled out their phone to check the past calendar date and finally layed down the gauntlet.
“Well…according to my calendar it says we played Cowtown last year! We started early and ended early. The entire thing was a fuckin non-event! That’s why I thought it was two years ago.”
No one likes to admit when they’re wrong. I was certain we’d played this one last year as I am usually a bit more in tune with these things.
Chalk one up for the boss!
“Oh wait….my bad my bad….I was looking at 2014 on my calendar. Yup, just as I said…it was two years ago!”
Yikes. I gotta get my shit together.
I kept quiet knowing that I was dead wrong. Sometimes I miss two years. (It’s true!) It’s a crazy way to live. But never one to let a great opportunity go by I shout out “What type of calendar app is that? Is it on a Samsung 7? You know they just recalled those eh? I think we need to wait until we get to the motel tonight to look at my website for proper verification.”

Usually laughter ensues. After the silence broken it’s always time for the dreaded song selection from someone’s phone. It seems the only thing we can agree on is silence.

Once we arrive at the venue it’s always sound-check, followed by checking into the new digs; dinner; concert; meet and greet; sleep. Every once in a while when there is a perfect storm and maybe a few days off you can find that necessary debauchery and the love of your life willing to listen to some new songs on the beach or a bed. Sometimes you may even want to stick around. That’s the hard part. “Love me tender baby I’m only passing through.”

And then that annoying alarm goes off again. It’s 10:30am. “Call the front desk. Get an extension on our check-out time!”

Shower. Rinse. Repeat.

In my particular case, I’ve been afforded the luxury of developing a network of kick-ass regional players across the country and in parts of the US. (and I mean KICK-ASS!!!) The list is long and amazing. I count myself fortunate to have so many great players willing to join me.
For the most part though I’ve been happy to play with my Toronto band along with multi-instrumentalists Donnie Zueff in Manitoba, Robbie Smith in Nova Scotia and occasionally young blues maven by the name of Jenie Thai. (I believe she’s The Killer reincarnated – Great Balls of Fire!)
I could write ten books on each and every one of these players and fill the Library of Congress fifteen times over with stories and anecdotes to make you laugh and cry and twist and shout. But as you know, time is evaporating and we’re all missing years. Randy Newman calls them “The potholes on memory lane”. Memories just sink into them.

Check out his song POTHOLES and tell me he’s not a goddammed genius:
Now I used to pitch
I could get the ball over the plate
Anyway this one time
Must have thrown a football round or something the day before
I walked about fourteen kids in a row
Cried, walked off the mound
Handed the ball to the third baseman
And just left the field

Anyway many years later
I brought the woman who was to become my second wife
God bless her
To meet my father for the first time
They exchanged pleasantries
I left the room for a moment
This is first time he met her, you understand
When I came back
He’s telling her the story
Right off the bat
About how I walked fourteen kids
Cried and left the mound
Next time he met her
He told the same goddamn story

God bless the potholes
Down on memory lane
God bless the potholes
Down on memory lane
Hope some real big ones open up
Take some of the memories that do remain

I love that song. I guess it’s safe to say, as fast as time slips by we hold onto the good memories and hopefully the awful ones slip into those memory lane potholes. So yeah, we’re gonna forget about a few years but we’ll never forget the spirit and the people who were with us and shared the feeling. I know that all touring musicians can relate to this on a profound level.

I’m back up in my room now and it’s very quiet in this hotel save for the jukebox cranking “Son of a bitch, give me a drink” by Nathaniel Rateliff and The Night Sweats. The jukebox is right below my room and some local characters are toying with me. They know my band is gone. They know I’m tempted. They know I haven’t been drinking much these days.

My room is small but mighty. A tiny TV affixed to the wall beside a relatively modern print of a Parisian street scene. It’s so properly framed it seems out of place. The wood grained paneling and mirrored chest of drawers beside my double bed feel perfectly in order. There is another double bed in the opposite corner beside the tiny fridge, microwave and heater. The window overlooks the street below the front of the hotel. It’s snowing. There is no activity here tonight. The day after Thanksgiving and this whistlestop is barely breathing.

I’m in a contemplative mood as I’ve just had a great conversation with my sister Mary about the siblings who made it home to celebrate my father’s 95th birthday. A big one magnified as we lost our mother on Mother’s Day this year at 90. Dad told me just the other day, he keeps starting a conversation then turning toward her but finds only an empty chair where she used to be. That’s gotta be tough – almost seventy years of marriage.

My sister’s story was hilarious. The typical Thanksgiving Day / Dad’s birthday festivities ensued: Everyone drives 8 hours home to cook, eat, party and after the third day of being cramped together on limited sleep it turns into a version of Stressmas. We always seem to walk away feeling closer and better for it. I was sad I couldn’t be home for this one – but THEN AGAIN!Mary finally asked “Where’s Waldo today?”
“Oh me? Thought you’d never ask. Oh I’m just in a small room in an old hotel above a country bar in a snow covered village in the middle of Manitoba on Thanksgiving. I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. No one else does!”
I felt the sarcastic pity party would elicit a good chuckle.
“Hmmm…you’re actually sounding more like Del Griffith – shower curtain ring salesmen – right out of Planes, Trains and Automobiles!”
We laughed.
That is one of my sister’s favourite movies. Mine too. We have a tradition that we try to watch it at least once a year. Poor John Candy plays Del Griffith who ultimately has nowhere to be on Thanksgiving. Steve Martin – his adversarial road companion ultimately bonds with him and brings him home for the big dinner. Another John Hughes classic.
“Yeah Mary, someday I can sure feel like Del. It doesn’t happen often but when it hits, well I kind of wish I would have settled down and married one of those girlfriends back in the day. But that’s just me feeling sorry for myself.”

I went on to explain how this particular Thanksgiving may have been the saddest yet most fulfilling one of them all.
I was invited down to the closed bar for a turkey dinner on Thanksgiving Day at 5:30. A server here mentioned she would be cooking for those of us on our own. She invited me to dinner. I thought it was a beautiful gesture.
When I arrived, we all helped carry the food out to the table and proceeded to dig in. There were only four of us. The leftovers were plentiful.

“Hi my name is Ernie…I saw you play here last year!”
“Hi Ernie, yes I remember you for sure. How have you been?”
“Oh it’s been a rough day. We lost our mother late last night. She was in the home.”
“Oh wow Ernie. Are you ok? So sorry to hear that?”
“Not really. I’m having a hard time today. My sister is getting my mom’s dress altered today. I’m worried about her driving in this snow. My mom wanted to be buried in that dress.”

Ernie was wearing a ball cap which was pulled down low. I knew he’d lived all around the western provinces doing odd jobs (as he said) until the work ran out. He informed me he’d come back home almost twenty years ago and found permanent employment with the town dump. He was only into coffee and cigarettes these days. He’d seen things.
“Hey Ernie, we lost our mother this year too. She was 90. I know what you’re going through man. My deepest sympathies.”

Just then, I saw one lonely tear roll down his cheek beyond the shadow of the ball cap brim. He wiped it away, stood up and said “I’m going to have another plate…want some?” I looked at him and immediately welled up. I don’t know how grief is supposed to be expressed. Why it shows up at the strangest times. I knew in that moment I was grieving the loss of all mothers, not just mine. I thought of just how beautiful the spirit of women and motherhood is. How that power can reduce two grown men to tears on Thanksgiving Day. When dinner was over we all cleaned up and said our good-byes.

I retreated back to my room to process what had happened and lay down and let the tryptophan weave its magic. I felt the emptiness of the hotel. The sadness kicked in. I couldn’t stop thinking about family and friends. Then as the night progressed it slowly turned in something comforting. I was taught a lesson in loneliness. I counted my blessings. What a notion to think that I was invited to Thanksgiving Day dinner from relative strangers? Good on those who are giving the misfortunate a bit of comfort during these times. Faith in humanity restored! “2017 is the year I start volunteering more!” I decried (I must find a way to do this.)

I turned on the idiot box for some reprieve only to be inundated with a non-stop barrage of the orange haired no-nothing on every channel. It so tarnished my pure feelings of the human spirit, I turned it off immediately and pulled out my guitar and wrote the first lines to a new song:

“He never had a father, he struck out on his own
He found himself a wanderer who never had a home
His mother was his guiding light his sister was his friend
He found his way back home to hold her at the end”

Ironically, I heard that Leonard Cohen passed via text messages while working on a song for my next album. I have thoughtful friends.

When we recorded a live record last year I added one cover song to the mix: Bird on a Wire. My friend Jadea Kelly joined me on stage to sing harmony.

Before we released the album, I contacted Robert Kory, Leonard’s manager in L.A. I sent him our rough, unmastered version of the song and he quickly asked that we obtain the necessary license via a specific music lawyer in Canada.

It proved a bit costly for me to justify releasing it on the live CD.

I have uploaded that rough version onto Soundcloud for you to hear. I’ll leave it up for a while until we get through this.

It was about fifteen years ago now. The day I drove through the beautiful fall colours along Highway 7 toward a tiny little village about an hour north of Kingston, ON. I was en route to visit an old friend who’d moved there from the Sault. He’d recently lost his wife to cancer and the urgency of my arrival was anticipated with the joy that only an old friend could bring.

The place was a dry country for many years, save for the one watering hole out on the highway: The Legion. It was a great Legion Hall where I’d come to know many of the folks who’ve now since passed.

We always hung out in the small bar in the basement. A pool table, a shuffleboard, pickled eggs, cold Labbatt 50; a calcified museum where memorabilia of the brave local men and women of the region adorned the walls beside a million other reminders of a by-gone era. An era I was not born into but an era my father lived through.

My dad often reminds us of the time an army recruiter walked into Ste. Anne’s College in 1939 and stood at the front of the classroom. “He pulled down a map of Europe. Mentioned something about a bad man named Hitler then told us how pretty the girls were in England. It wasn’t conscription but it may as well have been! Within minutes we were all in line at the back of the classroom signing up. When I told my mother she was very proud of me. She made me a care package upon leaving with the understanding that I’d be home in six months. I returned five years later.”

He carried a picture in his wallet of a girl he ‘kind of liked’ who lived in his Acadian village. “I looked at that picture throughout the war. It kind of got me through things. I returned home to realize she was married. Don’t look back son. You can’t change the past. Look forward and keep busy.”

In asking him about whether he saw action he would refuse to respond. There were times when we’d be relentless with our questions, yet he’d refuse to answer. He’d only ever say “Those who talked too much of heroics likely didn’t see the worst of it.” We accepted this answer.

We knew he’d been ‘knocked out overboard’ somewhere in Normandy.
“I can’t quite remember. I was on a small boat in Normandy I think. I can’t remember the weeks prior to or after that incident really. The Germans bombed us and I was hit in the head by a piece of shrapnel… so they tell me. They said I was lying unconscious on the bottom of the riverbed for over two minutes when a member of my regiment Bill Goodall found some scuba gear amidst the chaos and saved me. I never did find out what happened to Bill. I heard he moved back to Calgary. I wonder if he’s still alive?
You know the strangest thing about that experience? I awoke in a field hospital with a knife in my mouth! I panicked – thinking I’d been captured and was being tortured. Immediately a nurse held me down and said the doctor was holding my tongue in place so that I wouldn’t choke.”

These minor anecdotes were all we’d receive over the years. It’s only been since mom passed last year that he’s cryptically mentioned that he was part of D-DAY +1. He said they were referred to as “the clean up crew.” He told me the story. I can’t bear to repeat it. Lately it’s been one after another – usually comical stories. What’s better than humour in face of all of that darkness. I guess that’s why I loved Heller’s Catch 22 or Altman’s MASH.

Dad just turned 95. I recently reread him Wilfred Owen’s classic WWI poem ‘Dulce et Decorum Est’. Owen himself died a week before the armistice but was able to get these poems home in the form of letters – directly from the trenches. The title is based on an ode from the Roman poet Horace, addressing what he calls The Great Lie that : “It is great and glorious to die for ones country.”

My father never tires of this sentiment.
–
As I sat down in the eastern Ontario Legion Hall that crisp autumn Saturday afternoon, a woman came downstairs and tapped me on the shoulder.
“I’m sorry to trouble you with this, but I have a daft idea. Would you mind coming into the office for a minute?
The last time you were here you played us a song your wrote about your father and I think there are some men upstairs in the main hall who’d like to hear it. We have a band peforming later so there’s a full PA on stage and a lot of vets are here to celebrate a members retirement. Do you have your guitar?”

And with that, I was out in the parking lot grabbing my six string and then proceeded into the main entrance of the hall. The parking lot had filled up since my arrival and there were at least 200 veterans, mostly men sitting at long tables. They were dressed in their official military uniforms and suddenly the hall became very quiet.

The woman introduced me along with the brief story of how she’d heard
the song, which added proper context to my arrival. I offered the aforementioned story to set up the song and then sang it to pin drop silence.

When it was over, I opened my eyes to see the men on their feet applauding. The applause lasted long enough to make me well up. I thanked them and while still shaking…left the stage to go back out to the parking lot. Unable to deal with the emotion of the moment, I sat in my car for ten minutes until I was able to go back in and properly meet the men.

Of any performance I’ve ever given; anywhere and for all time – this one simple performance will never be surpassed. Ever. I knew it the moment it happened. I still get chills thinking about it.

I went downstairs to join my friends for the evening. The guitar came out and stayed out for the duration of the night. We sang every song I could think of. The basement bar filled up with many of the vets after the ceremony in the hall was over. At the end of the night I had all of the vets singing Vera Lynne’s – We’ll Meet Again (I’d learned it from my fathers record collection). A day to remember.

I can’t know about the horrors of war. These wars that plague humanity. Is it about the haves and the have not’s? I think so. Can’t we outthink our nature? I don’t know. I’m just another flawed human living in one of the most prosperous countries in the world. I’m no great historian and likely an innocent contributor to the empires pending fall. I only see merit in trying to paint the hallways a little brighter for all of us who have to walk through this life. Maybe that’s my role. What’s yours? No different from anyone elses yet much different from the vets who put their lives on the line to defend a principle.

And for that one songwriter who I met a few years ago who chastised me for wearing a poppy arguing it was a tired symbol of war – shame on you.
I thought you knew better.

Here’s your song dad. And to the memory of Bill Goodall, the West 27th Nova Scotian regiment and veterans of all wars I can only quote John Lennon: “War is over. If you want it.”

Below is the list of our Canadian Tour Dates. Please take a moment to share this with your friends across Canada. I’m sure we can fit them into a concert somewhere!

Expect a who’s who of special guests at our shows along with a book reading to start each concert, followed by a full night of live original music. You can’t beat that!
Right?
It will be so good you’ll have to tell two friends…and they’ll tell two friends and so on and so on and so on…

If you see this poster anywhere that means we’re going to be in your town:

I’d just finished my stint in Nashville leaving behind several great friends who’d helped me find the heart of another Saturday night! You might know some of them from the Canadian roots music scene: Melanie Brulee, Jadea Kelly and Cindy Doire. I’m a lucky man to be occasionally surrounded by such youthful beauty and supreme talent.

In fact, Jadea sang on a duet that I wrote several years ago entitled Worthless String of Pearls. It references “searching for the centre of all night long!” We did. Ouch. The next morning was a little rough.
“My head hurts, my feet stink and I don’t like Jesus.” Thanks Jimmy.
They were en route to Las Vegas for a Griswold family vacation while I had to split for Columbus, Mississippi.

I was to perform in a house concert of distinction. I mean, it was a house so grand I expected to see Scarlett O’Hara greet me at the door. That said, I spent the entire evening pre and post show examining the walls of this great house.

If that’s not enough the next morning I drove a few miles down the highway to visit the Howling Wolf Museum. What is going on here. How do you finish an afternoon like that? Well, with southern BBQ at Phil’s roadside BBQ shack. Great guy. Loves the Wolf too.

Drove by Muscle Shoals but didn’t have time to check it out. That was a drag. I would have just found point zero, slept in my car by the river and cranked some Etta James, but I had to split for my next show in Georgia.

My agent in the US booked me for these shows and this next one was a definitely a gamble. I hit a place called The Red Clay Theatre in Deluth Georgia. They were having a songwriting competition and I won the $100. I get to return for the potential to win $1K in November if I want. Someone told me they have some heavy hitters who judge the 10 finalists. I hate these competitions with every fibre of my being. Judging art! Arggg!!! Usually these songwriting competitions ask for $20 per entry. It’s bad. Don’t do it kids. Just go sing your songs. Stop letting people judge your art for money. It’s just wrong!
This competition was free and although I have been protesting this type of nonsense, I was happy to take the hundred bucks, find a nice room and order some first rate Mexican food. Mexican food introduced to me through Michelle Malone who was at the theatre. She was kind enough to invite me out with her band after the ordeal. It was only after I came returned home did I Wikipedia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michelle_Malone ) her to find out she’s a two time Grammy nominee blues rocker who packs them in from all around the US. A cooler gal you will not meet. We did the CD exchange and I’ve been blasting her tunes ever since. A real gem. She wants to co-write. Never tried that. Maybe I’ll start.

The next morning I was surprised to hear from Michael Phillip Wojewoda, a Canadian producer I admire greatly. This guy has produced many of my all time favourite albums over the years and his work has only been garnering more and more accolades as time rolls on. (See: Buffy Sainte-Marie’s latest Polaris and Juno winner – Power in the Blood or Amelia Curran’s – They Promised You Mercy. Both on extremely high rotation in my car).
We’ve been discussing working together and he’d just finished listening to a few of my demo’s and was very encouraged. I wrote back that I was encouraged as well and that somehow we would find a way to work together.

I’ve only ever made indie CD’s and have yet to get a big name producer (save my pal David Baxter) to work with my stuff. I think it’s the time to do it. I’m going to have to find about 30K -40K to get it done. Everyone keeps telling me to do an online fundraising platform and I think I’m going to try it out. Much like the songwriting competitions which I’ve resisted, I’m going to have to suck up my pride and ask my fans for some money up front. We’ll see how it goes.Anyway, having Michael contact to let me know he wanted to hear the rest of my new songs put me into a great frame of mind. It was enough to distract me from the sad letter I’d had from a recent ex-girlfriend AND the fact that my mother was just admitted into a long term care facility. Life.

The next few shows were fast and furious. My songs seem to resonate more in the US. I can’t explain why. Maybe the listeners take the craft more seriously here. I sold a ton of merch at these US shows. Very promising.

I’m going to need to sell much more merch to fix the broken air conditioning in my Toyota. It was hot and humid to the point of being unbearable. I had every window open and that didn’t help. I quite often drive for hours with complete silence as I finish verses of songs in my head. That’s why I require long drives alone. That’s how I write.

Sweet Virginia
I arrived in Appomattox, Virginia for my Friday night show. It was strategically booked for me in a book store. I’d been reading chapters of my book (The Chicken Came First) at several gigs. When I arrived for sound check, I performed a quick set for some students who were working away in the corner. We talked about their university courses, living away from home, dealing with their future, the American election debacle and of all things: ROOTS MUSIC! It seems the young guy Ryan was also in a roots music band. He couldn’t stay for the concert and was bummed out.
“You guys hang tight. I’m going to give you a hour of original music before the show starts.”
And so I did. When I got back to the hotel room that night, I found this email in my inbox.

—

Jay Aymar! Thank you so much for lighting up my Friday Night. I was so happy to be able to make it just for your private set, and I apologize for having to leave. I did not know you were playing tonight; otherwise if I knew there was a full set live show I would have scheduled to stay the whole time; I love listening and meeting artists like you.

I look forward to reading your book as well as checking out some more of your music. I really appreciate guys like you, and that you give me a story to see the big picture of who you are, and why you are you. But so far, you are in my Johnny Cash, Buck Owens and Hank William’s all rolled into one category. You’re a singing-country-folk-poet in my opinion.

I will get back to you when I finish your book, because I think you are a really awesome guy to follow, and get to know more than just a standing act.

But in the mean time, put me on your mailing list, and I’m gonna follow your tour since you are a great inspirational songwriter that has fantastic taste in style and lyrics.:)

I have a list of places that you should tell your booking agent to put on your next tour/ even this summer if you have any availability in PA. I would love to have you make it through my area if that’s possible! My hometown area is driven by artists like you and there should be no difficulty for you getting in or drawing any crowds, since you are a national touring artist.

Your new fan, Ryan. —

Now to be honest I receive occasional letters like this but am hesitant to go full braggadocio on the world so I keep them in a file marked: Happy Thoughts.
So far I have 122 Happy Thoughts in this file. This one got to me because of the unbridled enthusiasm AND likely the best line about my music and spirit of all time: The Singing Country Folk Poet. I love that. I’m gonna use it.

I finished the week touring Virginia and the many sites of the civil war. It really is a beautiful state. I stopped into a gas bar en route to Washington DC and had the strangest encounter with some civil war actors who were dressed in full regalia for the tourists.
“Hey man? You’re a Canadian musician? You should meet our buddy over here…”

What do you do when you meet one of the Beach Boys sons (Denis Wilson) after having just watched the documentary on how his father and Charlie Manson were originally buddies? He seemed like a cool dude. Drove a black jeep with batman crest on it. Lots of tats and big black hat and long civil war coat. He had just returned from Europe after meeting with a publisher who’s interested in a book he’d written on his father.
We talked about the Beach Boys and the sun and the heat.
What do you do when a Beach Boy’s son tells you to drive to Boot Vil in Ruckersville VA? You follow his advice about the need for cowboy hats while touring all summer long and do it. I bought a straw cowboy hat which now goes on and stays on.

Actually, I never really dug the Beach Boys. I know, I know – Pet Sounds. Guess you had to be there.

I finished my show in Washington, got back on the highway and blasted some Wolf for the next hour. I now know why anyone would howl for this long in this heat. And hell, I’m just driving. Imagine some white asshole forcing you to pick cotton under that sun? The world is crazy man.

Things I’ve learned. I need to fix my AC. Always play a long sound check set even if there’s only a few people there. Read more Kafka. When in Georgia, always finish any dubious statement with “Bless your heart!” And finally, under no circumstances, don’t go on a ten minute tirade from stage about the absurdity of Donald Trump. Don’t say things like “He should make ball caps that say “Make America Hate Again!” Don’t do this. You will lose 50% of your merch sales after the show. And as you know, I need that money as I’ll be making my first real grown up album soon.

Driving into the Maritimes now. I’ll be going coast to coast for 70 shows across Canada from May to October. Special guests galore. See you soon amigos.
“Drinking doubles on the Rock till I washed up on the shore so they shoved me off the dock for a show in Labrador…” ohh…you know the rest.

Every year around Easter time I remind myself to watch this Monty Python classic: The Life of Brian. This closing ditty always got to me. The absurdity of blind optimism in the face of such horrific circumstances: to be hung on a cross whistling and singing “Always look on the bright side of life.”

So I again watched this movie a mere week after watching this years Oscar winner for best picture ‘Spotlight’. The one-two punch of the juxtaposition of both movies basically drove a nail through my Easter plans.

Then three days ago we put my mother into a respite home as she was in need of urgent care. When I arrived yesterday to visit, I noticed among the many magazines, one simple book nestled beside her. The Holy Bible. My mother was an avid reader, yet I’d never seen her read the Bible before. Yes she has unshakeable faith but we certainly weren’t thumpers.

There are no Atheists in fox-holes as they say, so I’m sure when my final hours arrive, I’ll be reexamining the complete works of Emily Bronte, William Blake, Dylan, Ghandi or a host of other spiritually connected folks who’ve shaped my faith – whatever that really means. I left my mothers bed side and drove home thinking about the years we spent dedicated to the Catholic church. As altar boys; attending Catholic schools; youth encounters; social functions etc..

So much of our lives were spent in this Catholic kaleidoscope. If I feel guilty for writing about leaving the church, it’s probably because I was taught how to feel guilty through the church. That’s not to criticize my mother for her faith or for any soul that holds the same strong convictions for any good word. It just had me thinking – what would I likely hold strong to before the curtain falls.

Maybe it would be the church of music. Specifically the music that has shaped me. Music that fights for the oppressed or rejoices in freedom. Music that makes you sing and dance. Music that makes you think and feel. Music that brings passion or pure joy.

Maybe someday someone will try to convince me that my faith in music is all just a myth. They will argue that my music is devoid of cultural or spiritual significance. I will rail against those comments as falsehoods, knowing the everlasting power of the music that shaped me.

Why am I writing this?

Today, as I as repacked my bags to prepare for a two month US tour, I looked inside my Larivee Guitar for the first time in a long time (to search for a serial number) and noticed the blood-stained manufacturers label.The blood was from a friend who I allowed on stage over ten years ago to perform a set of original music. Memories flooded back on how this old guitar had been with me for so many events. It’s ludicrous to have faith in an inanimate object. I know this. For some inexplicable reason, an instrument can often feel alive. Perhaps I should to have faith in the luthier? The human who constructed the guitar.In this case it’s Mr. Jean Larivee.

Here goes:
“Happy Easter Mr. Jean Larivee and thank you for creating this guitar that continues to inspire performances. You’ve been dropped in the water, left overnight in the sand beside campfires, pulled apart by the European air, briefly stolen then replaced by a gang of crack addicts, braced together three separate times and lastly…bled upon by a player who strummed violently with his fingers. The blood stains on this label are a reminder of how much you’ve sacrificed for my unholy treatment of you. Please forgive me if I keep you shrouded in your case until Tuesday morning. You’re ascension onto the stage will happen in Columbus Ohio where you will once again perform miracles.
You will sing:
“We turned Jesus in Elvis who turned records into bread
We work the world for prophets
Now that our King is dead
From the Vatican to Graceland
We’re playing in one chord
And singing gospel numbers
In the name of the Lord
We all loved the King
Yet we crucified him too
Love me tender baby
I’m only passing through”Sincerely,
Jay Aymar

As for you dear reader:
I’ll be out there for 10 straight months often touring with a fiddle player and additional players. Starting in Columbus Ohio, down to Alabama, up through NY and Maine, into the Maritimes and over to the BC islands then into the US again for October and November. (all dates to be posted shortly)
I’ll be singing new songs that were brought to me from this old guitar.
Here’s a new one captured a few weeks ago in Kansas City:Jay Aymar: Live at The Folk Alliance in KC

In the truth is stranger than fiction file…here we go again.
I was having a Starbucks Coffee at the Indigo reading a newspaper – minding my own business – when a random businessman sitting next to me loudly put his order in with his colleague to buy him a double Mocha-Choco-lata-ya-ya while turning to affix his gaze on my newspaper.
I was reluctant to move or utter a word. I knew this guy, who’d crammed his gelatinous frame into his Italian suit was sweating over the chance to engage in conversation.
I didn’t have to say a word.
“Hey, are you reading about that crazy girl who randomly stabbed that guy? She was a good looker too! It might come out she was a terrorist!”
Still I didn’t look his way. I just mumbled – “Uh yeah…I don’t think so!”
That was all it took.
“Well, I don’t know but I think she might be a terrorist. You know what I mean? Hey, think what you will of Donald Trump, but at least he calls it like he’s sees it!”
I looked up and made the mistake of turning toward this guy.
“Uh, I’m not quite sure what to make of what you’re saying but I fail to see the connection between it all.”
I foolishly thought this one comment might get me out of this ridiculous situation.
He continued “Yeah we have Jeb the weakling. Pataki – well he was on the children’s stage. Cruz – he’s sharp as a tack. Knows about the Triad. Trump didn’t know about the Triad….”
and on and on and on. Literally without a breath for 10 solid minutes.

I looked over to see his colleague still in line and it appeared I was going to be held hostage for another ten minutes with this dude’s boredom offense. I had to make a move. I felt trapped.
“Well, you’re talking to someone who’s left of Bernie Sanders so talking about the conservatives is lost on me!”
Now, I want to explain that I’m private about my political leanings and I may or may not be left of Bernie Sanders but that’s not the point. The point was I just wanted to get this dude out of my grill. He was ruining a perfectly good Indigo hang.
Suddenly his buddy arrived back at the table with their coffee’s and just desserts.
He said to his colleague “This guy is buying into that socialist Bernie Sanders!”
I just stood up, grabbed my coffee, folded my paper and began walking away.
The colleague said “Hey pal, do you know who this guy is?” Pointing to his friend.
“Um. NO I do not.”
“He runs a successful firm at King and Bay. What do you do?”
“I’m a songwriter.”
“Well he could make or break your career. Do you know that?”
I thought, oh you poor bastard, you and 50 other MBA grads were likely Koreshed by this sociopath into believing your dreams of a gold plated, hollowed out world would come true if only you could keep building that pyramid to nowhere on the backs of innocent investors.
Instead I said “Uh..no he could not. Some things are not for sale. The difference is, I can write a song about peace and try to make the world a better place. He can’t do that.”
The big man once again blurted out “Well MEEEERRRYYY Christmas to YOUUUUUU!” in a loud sarcastic tone.
I turned back and said ” Happy Hanukkah” while flashing the peace sign.
Then he screamed again “THAT’S WHY YOU LIKE BERNIE SANDERS!”
I just walked away.
I came back to my room to eat a Swanson’s Turkey dinner to celebrate Christmas and all of the great people I’ve met over the years. I feel lucky to know you all. We’re all in this together.
I hope you all have a good one this year with family and friends and loved ones. Say a few prayers for the artists out here…we’re always saying some for you.

If you’ve read the chapter entitled: The Sludge Boat you’ll know I did a very short, horrendous stint on a cruise ship during a weak moment about ten years ago. When I arrived back home to Toronto, I was perusing a Goodwill thrift shop and came across this poster entitled: AT SEA. I didn’t realize it at the time but it was a numbered lithograph by Chilean artist Sergio Gonzales Tornero (born 1927).It just reminded of the ship of fools I’d left behind in Barcelona so much that I had to buy it.The price tag was $50 – ridiculously expensive for a Goodwill.The girl at the counter informed me it was 50% off day, so with that, I shelled out $25 and bought it.I brought it back to my apartment and eventually put it into a nice new frame.Over these past seven years of being transitory, I’d totally forgotten that I’d left it in my sisters basement.I just found it today and realized it was a numbered (66 of 100) and signed lithograph. Here’s what I found out about Sergio online:”Sergio Gonzalez-Tornero was born in Santiago, Chile on May 27, 1927. He studied in Chile, Brazil, the United States, the Slade School in London and at Atelier 17 in Paris. Principally a printmaker, Gonzalez-Tornero has had more than forty solo exhibitions in Chile, Canada, Europe and the United States. Sergio discussed his printmaking technniques in an essay on page 325 of The Art of the Print by Fritz Eichenberg, ISBN 0-8109-0103-X.Gonzalez-Tornero was awarded a fellowship by the New York State Foundation for the Arts in 1987 and a grant from the Adolph and Ester Gottlieb Foundation in 1990. He is a member of the Society of American Graphic Artists, Boston Printmakers and the Philadelphia Print Club.His work is included in numerous international collections including the Museum of Modern Art in New York, the Metropolitan Museum, the Brooklyn Museum and the New York Public Library. Gonzalez-Tornero is married to printmaker Adrianne Colum whom he met at Atelier 17.”Now I’ve also just discovered that auction houses have it listed as high as $1500 US. Wow! Can this be real?

Many of you have read this chapter either online, or as part of the book, however, it’s worth posting once again as it’s that time of year again. Full disclosure: I’d never felt this story fit into the theme of the book and had no intention to include it alongside the other short stories of life on the road.
Then a strange thing happened. Some fans who’ve now become friends, Doug and Liz Champagne from Vancouver Island told me it was their favourite story.
“Jay, you have to include that story. I laughed so hard man. You HAVE to!”
“Ok Doug, since you’re The Dude….I will abide!”
So here’s the story with notable references to costumes, trick or treating, fear, high-school hijinx, and bad acting with a girl named Lois who is now living somewhere in the US Virgin Islands. Those five back and forth years with her are forged in my memory like beautiful dream. Thankfully we’re still friends. In the book, Canadian folk artist Pearl Rachinsky has brilliantly illustrated Lois to complement the song I wrote for her entitled: Could it Be.
So to answer the question (finally) of what the references mean?
She had Picasso prints on the wall. A copy of On The Road on her coffee table. Knew “Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night”, all of Cohen’s records, a poster of Janis Joplin on her bedroom door, a May West spirit and the soul of Aphrodite. That’s all I’ll share for now.
I’ve included it all here for you today. Happy Hallowhat!

—–

My fascination with Halloween started quite young. I remember the very first time I was allowed to go along with my older brother and sister who were leading the way, they brought me home in tears after thirty minutes, telling mom I was a ‘tag-a-long’ and I was unceremoniously dumped back at home to count my twenty-five kiss candies. After a few years I realized I would have done the exact same thing if I’d had a younger sibling. Such is life.
I remember there was a three-year run when my desire to dress up as something totally unique was squashed as I donned a scruffy jacket, work socks, green toque, plastic bottle sticking out of a paper bag and went out as a homeless man. What the hell? Who approved this? Oh, I almost forgot the burnt cork rubbed on my face to simulate dirt. Oh so, hobo-sheik. So, yes there I was, stumbling around my neighbourhood looking like a kid who simply couldn’t pull his act together before the big day. That said mom did rig up a big-time Batman costume a few years later for which I’m eternally grateful. I have shied away from costumes ever since.
Two of those years, nearing the end of my route, just as my pillow case was beginning to fill, some bad-ass kids jumped out of the bushes and ransacked us. The first time they got away with my loot and the following year I held on tight enough to retain it all.

Ahhhh the loot: 10 per cent chocolate bars, 10 per cent fruit which was hurled immediately onto the street to detect the razor blades, 30 per cent multi-coloured chalky candy in a roll, 40 per cent Kiss Candy’s (made by the Dental Association of America), 8 per cent variety paper bags, 1 per cent loose change, and 1 per cent tooth brushes (always from an absentee dentists house). We’d get home and spread it all out on newspapers and proceed to hoard our stash for the days to come. Inevitably the high profile chocolate bars would appear in my brother Bill’s stash as his sweet-tooth was beyond legendary. I can’t say I blame him – we all have our weaknesses. After all, I still owe my brother Phil the complete songbook of Bob Dylan. I lost it along the way.
The years passed and there we were eighteen-years-old meeting at the Bolan house to prepare for the big Halloween Bash at the Ramada Inn. Greg, Marc, Geoff, Andy, Bob, Dale, Paul – the whole gang. Some were really into it and some of us were not. We had to inform our buddy Greg that the wizards beard he was Crazy-gluing to his face was neither effective nor safe. He disregarded our comments and continued gluing on a cotton baton moustache and eye-brows. Amidst the heat of the party hours much later on, these artificial adhesions simply looked like strands of rope dangling off of his sweaty face. Wizard my ass. I quickly borrowed Mr. Bolan’s trench coat (see hobo) and deked into a Shoppers Drug Mart to buy a mask. They were sold out of my size (oversized noodle alert) and I was forced to buy a skin tight plastic mask of an old man with a big nose. I remember trying to cut a hole in the mouth to help me breath and to allow for the occasional cigarette but alas, I ripped it to the chin making my costume look beyond low rent. Comical I guess, but really low rent.
Naturally we were strobing on some different planet by 10 p.m. By 11 p.mp I was wobbling around the ballroom reuniting with high-school buddies and sneaking out to the parking lot for a puff or two. Suddenly I heard our local radio DJ (dressed as the Iron Sheik) hosting the ‘best costume’ award from the stage. I stumbled into a long line behind the Three Little Pigs who I’d met earlier and eventually made it up onto the stage. The Sheik held the mic up to my torn mouth and said ‘So what group are you?” I asked rhetorically “What group?” Two hundred people laughed.

I didn’t get it at the time, but it was GROUP judging, i.e. Three Little Pigs. I was a random solo with an awful costume. I thought he was asking me what my favourite group was, so I responded The Beatles. People began to boo and The Sheik leaned in close and said “Are you okay buddy?” I was far from okay. I was escorted off the stage like the loser I was. The only redeeming part to this story was seeing my buddies on the floor in laughter when I arrived back to our table. Watching Merlin laugh through the cotton and Crazy-glue was enough reward for me.

The costumes are just one part of this scene I avoid. What about the pagan rituals? What about the witchcraft and horror? I’ve often never been able to deal with scary movies the way some folks just seem to love them. I enjoy the intentionally bad B-movie genre that’s tongue in cheek but as for the rest? No thanks! I can handle amusing campy flicks with chainsaws and goalie masks but when fiction turns to the spirit world? No way.
It first started when a gang of us tried to watch The Exorcist. Halfway through the movie, some of the guys came up with excuses about how they have to ‘get home early’, ‘stuff to do’, etc… Suddenly everyone was gone. I was terrified. Not only did they bail on me, they proceeded to tap on my windows and phone the house and hang up. You know all the tricks your good buddies would pull on you back then. To this day, I have still not finished that movie.
Then many years later it was another movie: The Blair Witch Project. I was in Gananoque, Ontario and I stopped in for the night at an old resort. The girl at the front desk claimed they only had a few cabins out back available to rent. It was a cold November night and just the perfect backdrop for what was about to happen. When I checked into my room I noticed a sign on top of the TV which read ‘Free Movies at front desk’. I walked to the front lobby and inquired about their selections. She strongly advised a new movie called The Blair Witch Project which was her ‘favourite of all time!’ I bit.
When that movie was over, I looked out the window of the cabin and noticed a long thin tree branch creaking up against the eaves. Suddenly I heard noises in the closets. My imagination was running wild! Or was it? I immediately took the movie back to the front desk like it was possessed. “I can’t believe you suggested that movie!” I said with authority.

“Would you mind switching me to another room?” I asked.

“Oh wow. I’m very sorry about that. I guess that movie is not for everyone!”

“Not for everyone? Are you kidding me? That movie was terrifying. I really need you to change my room.”

“I’m so sorry but we’re totally filled. You’ll be ok. Just get some sleep!”

I drove to an all-night Tim Horton’s and drank decaf until 5 a.m.
—
So why did I share this story?

The other day my girlfriend asked me if I’d like to go out for Halloween.
I cleverly responded “Why don’t we just stay home and have a Halloween party for two?”
“Yeah right. But you won’t dress up for me?” she said.
“Well, yeah of course I will. I’ll go buy a pizza, come back and knock on the door and you can answer it dressed up in classic French maid attire! You’ll be the French maid and I’ll be the pizza boy! It’s perfect.”
“Works well for you lover boy but what do I get out of the deal?”
“Well, I’ll eat some pizza and watch you tidy up for a bit and when the time is right I’ll let you make your move!”
“Sounds like you should dress up a Martian and go join your imaginary friends back on planet dreamer! And once you’re done that, call the Ramada Inn to make those reservations like I asked.”
“Yes dear. Oh, have you seen my trench coat and that old plastic wine bottle?”

COULD IT BE She has Picasso in her hands Dylan Thomas on her breathKerouac in her plansCohen in her deathLiving just this side of lonely in a house she’s built of stone Her thoughts are always shared although she shares them all alone Could it beshe’s tearing down the walls that surround me She’s opened up my door and found me She’s got a pearl within her heartPortia in your eyes May West in her breast Aphrodite in her thighsShe’s a rainbow in a hurricane A queen inside a foolShe everything she’s anything She’s her own golden rule Could it beShe’s tearing down the walls that surround me She’s opened up my door and found me The future’s an illusion When our past is left alone Now is the confusion It’s the understood unknown There’s echoes in the distance getting closer every time saying If you can’t do the loving boy then don’t commit the crime Could it beshe’s tearing down the walls that surround me she’s opened up my door and thrown away the key Could it beyou’re tearing down the walls that surround me You’ve opened up my door and found me Could it be

It’s your 94th birthday today dad. And Mom you’re going to turn 90 in three short weeks! Amazing really.
I’m touring the Yukon and thinking about the party I’ll be missing. Wish I was home.
Tonight, I’ll be singing your song at the show:The Bells of Retribution
I wish the world could thank you for your service in WW2. I know you question whether people care about your service or the veterans anymore, but I know most people do. I wish that whenever you went down to your mailbox you would find random thank you letters instead of generic bills and junk mail. Maybe a teacher will read this and inspire their students to write you some old fashioned letters? Stranger things have happened. I’ll post my address just in case.J. Aymar
4716 Yonge St. #2220.
Toronto, ON.
M2N 6V1

Happy Birthday!
See you soon.
Jay

The following is a chapter about my parents from a collection of short stories I recently released entitled: The Chicken Came First (and other half-truths from my life as a touring songwriter).

—-

And the Oscar goes to: Madeline Aymar

My mother has always been a realist and for her possession of that trait, I owe her a mountain of gratitude. On the other hand, there have been the occasional flashes of idealism where my mother, though a child of the Great Depression and the Second World War, offered glimpses into a heart that dared to dream. This is why our conversation last week was so incredible. I felt for the first time ever, she was beginning to understand my life as an artist. As I watched the Academy Awards celebration it brought me into my mother’s original dream world, a world she so clearly loved: The movies.

Madeline (Theriault) Aymar

Mom was born and raised in Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario in 1925 to a French Acadian father and a Canadian born Irish mother. The Soo is a steel town known for its rugged beauty where Lake Superior, Lake Michigan and Lake Huron intersect in Northern Ontario. During the Great Depression her father owned a billiard hall which sustained them through the hard times, putting food on the table for their seven children. Of the five boys and two girls, mom was the second youngest and generally spent her days much like any other child of her era. Frequent visits to the neighbours would involve card games or book swapping. My mother and her ‘kindred spirit’, Jackie Wall, would walk side-by-side through the downtown streets quoting Lucy Maud Montgomery and dreaming of life beyond their three block radius.

Next to my grandfather Eli’s billiard hall, was the Princess movie theatre. My mother often recalled fondly of how she and Jackie learned that the local bakery would offer five cents to anyone who would return ten bread bags to the bakery for re-use. Naturally, this mission was to be executed with the objective of getting back into the theatre to re-watch screen idol Shirley Temple singing On the Good Ship Lollipop!

I am convinced that these movies helped shaped my mother’s world view. What passed for casual entertainment was pure escapism – imagination set loose – if only for a few hours. Imagine walking back out of the theatre into the streets of this northern town. It must have felt so mundane compared to the option of singing and tap dancing for the world! But time has a way of marching on and before you know it, mom was all grown up. She’d been prepping for nursing college in Detroit and big adventure was waiting. It was post-war and soon after commencing her studies she met Delbert John Aymar, aka Dad.

Dad was born in 1921 in a rural Acadian fishing village, Lower Saulnierville, on the south shore of Nova Scotia. His own father, Benjamin Aymar, died from tuberculosis when my father was only six months old. He spent the majority of his childhood in St. Anne’s College, a Catholic boarding school run by priests from France. He would only go home to visit his mother for the summer months then spend the rest of the year at the school. This went on until he was 18.

Dad served in the Canadian military for most of World War II. Upon completion of his basic training in Halifax, he applied to the air force. They ran him through the standard educational tests; balance and eye sight tests; then into a cockpit after which they passed him. The very day he was accepted into the air force he was told it was too late as they’d called him into action and he was needed as infantry. In retrospect he said, “I was lucky! The pilots didn’t have a very long life expectancy.”

During the latter part of the war the Canadian military sent a letter home to his mother saying her son John had been killed in action. This ‘clerical error’ was not resolved for two weeks, leaving his mother heart-broken, then obviously elated to hear he was alive. His mother Emily eventually remarried. She had four more children and as such, Dad had four new brothers and sisters.

Upon coming back to Nova Scotia, he attended The University of Halifax for a year but soon felt it was time to head for Toronto. Along with his friend Henri, they drove to Toronto and worked odd jobs for a while, eventually landing a position in sales with Imperial Tobacco, (back when smoking was hip). If you’ve not seen the early 1970’s Canadian cult classic movie ‘Goin’ Down the Road’ (written by playwright William Fruet) I strongly suggest you seek it out. It’s essentially the story of my dad and Henri twenty-five years earlier.

After working with Imperial Tobacco for a while they transferred him up to “this English city with a French sounding name!” – Sault Ste. Marie. Before too long he met my mother and the rest was history.

As of now, dad is 93 and mom is 89. They are alive and well and still together at home. Mom has become a bit forgetful in her advanced years, but dad has decided to take care of her on his own. Two more amazing people you’ll never meet.

During a recent visit home, my mom was recalling the days of her early childhood. The stories were so vivid I asked her if I could record them. She agreed.
After a while, the conversation turned toward my chosen profession. I thought I’d share this with you:

Mom: So where are you living these days?
Me: I got out of my place a few years ago. It didn’t make financial sense. I’m living wherever I hang my hat.
Mom: What does that mean?
Me: Well, I’m trying save money while living on the road.
Mom: How do you like that?
Me: It’s hard but it feels good for the most part.
Mom: So how are you making money my dear?
Me: I’m playing my music. Remember? I make music?
Mom: Yes but you can’t make a real living out of that can you?
Me: Well, I’m trying to Mom. It’s very tough. I’m living the life of an artist.
Mom: An artist? Do you paint too?
Me: No, sometimes they call musicians artists as well.
Mom: So you’re living as an artist? How is that?
Me: It’s great. Sometimes it’s tough. But what isn’t tough? I’m feeling better I ever have.
Mom: Don’t you want to settle down and have a family?
Me: I think there’s a better chance of that happening while living as an artist mom. She’s out there. Maybe she’ll be an artist too.
Mom: Oh god – then you’ll both be broke! Can’t you just do your music on the side?
Me: Yes mom, I’ve done that for many years but it just doesn’t work that way. It’s something I have to do full time. Sounds crazy I know.
Mom: What’s the point of it all?
Me: Hmmm…good question. Maybe deep down I’m hoping to make the world a better place.
Mom: How can you do that through your music?
Me: I don’t know. Maybe writing my own songs and singing them is a good for all of us. Hey I just had you singing ‘Who threw the overalls in Mrs. Murphy’s chowder!’ And you were smiling and laughing. That counts. Right?
Mom: (laughs) I guess you’re right. I’ve always liked to dance to music though. Don’t you do any toe-tappers?
Me: Yeah I’ve written a few of those.
Mom: So you’re doing this to make the world a better place?
Me: Well that’s a question for the age’s mom. I’m likely doing it for money and girls! Just kidding.
Mom: Seems to me every famous person I’ve ever read about had a miserable life. They always seemed unhappy. I DO wish you’d find a nice girl and settle down.
Me: Well, I’ve committed to this and yes it’s hard but I’ve never slept better. I’m living for my art.
Mom: But you don’t have a home to live in? You are not making any money? Don’t’ they call that being a bum?
Me: Ok mom, all I’ve ever known is that you raised us to believe in this guy named Jesus. Right? Now, no disrespect to my buddy Jesus, but he advocated giving up all of ones worldly possessions. Right? Ok. Well, I’ve done that. I’ve given up my worldly possessions and am travelling the countryside to spread the good word about living, dying and loving through my songs. They didn’t call Jesus a bum. Right?
Mom: Oh I’m sure they did at the time. Do you still go to church?
Me: I like the way Tom. T Hall responds to that one. He’s a Nashville songwriter. They call him The Storyteller.
Mom: What did he say about Jesus?
Me: In one of his songs he sings “Me and Jesus got our own thing going! Me and Jesus got it all worked out.” I guess I don’t know what to think about it all. I hope there’s something up there.
Mom: So you don’t go to church anymore?
Me: Well, not as much as you’d like I guess.
Mom: How long are you staying home for?
Me: Three more days.
Mom: Oh, don’t say that. I hate good-byes. Do you have a wife and family to get back to?
Me: I love you mom.
Mom: I love you too my dear.

It’s sad to see my mother go through this phase, but as she’s always said, “We only remember the good times as we get older.” I believe she’s right.

As I sat to watch the Academy Awards on Sunday night, I couldn’t help but think of my mom and her fond memories of the movies. They left such a big impression on her mind. She could imagine herself as Maureen O’Hara in The Miracle on 34th Street or Elizabeth Taylor in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. She never did join the theatre or find herself involved in this creative process in any way, but she sure did love the movies.

Her love of plot reigned supreme. She has always said there is no replacing a good story. Then it dawned on me. That’s the subconscious insight she’s always imparted into my song writing. As I watched the Best Picture nominee’s I felt this strange reassurance that true story-telling in movies, literature and song will forever be at centre of things.

She’s also always reminded me that a good story never goes out of fashion.

“It’s all about how you tell it, son!”
I couldn’t agree more.
I wrote this story you mom.

I made my pit stop back at the motel a quick one. I took another thirty minute power nap, changed my guitar strings, put on black jeans, black shirt, black boots, black belt (with silver belt buckle) and mentally morphed into Jake Rivers during the short drive over.
Upon pulling up the building, I noticed they’d taken the time to update the flashing marquis above the door.
TONIGHT
DUCKS UNLIMMITED CHARITY ACUTION AND MEAT DRAW
FEATURING OLD TIME COUNTRY MUSIC BY JAKE RIVERS

PART 2

When I walked in, Big Eddy immediately introduced me to the volunteers who were setting up the various items for auction around the hall. He had a crew of guy’s help me set up my PA and I had the sound check over with in twenty minutes. He then introduced to the main coordinator of the event from Ducks Unlimited who made immediate inquiries as to whether he could use my microphone throughout the night to announce auction winners and make the occasional speech about how we should protect our wetlands.

“You betchya sir. The microphone is at your disposal. You just tell me when and I’ll step back and let you speak!”
So pleased was he with this arrangement he responded “Jake, I’d like to offer you to spot at our head table to dine with us tonight. How does that sound?”
“That would be a true honour sir.”

And so it was. One short hour later I was up at the long head table setup on risers overlooking the rest of the circular tables below. They sat me at the far left where I was treated to a great view of the Blue Jays game on the small TV perched behind the bar. I felt like misplaced Johnny Cash at the head table of a Dean Martin Roast. After dinner, I stood up at the bar with Big Eddy and my new friends of the dais and pretended to inhabit my Jake Rivers persona as the talk turned to moose hunting. We all mainly listened to Big Eddy hold court:

“Yeah, so there we were getting skunked after three days. I was hungover and standing in two feet of water when my young lad said he wanted to take the shot. There she was, right in our sights. He started shaking and then shaking some more. By Jesus he had some bad buck fever. He couldn’t pull the trigger!”

The conversation went around the circle until all eyes turned toward the man in black.
“Hey Jake, this ever happened to you?”

By that point I’d heard the word ‘buck’ and was already thinking about John Candy’s superb turn in the hilarious John Hugh’s film Uncle Buck. Just thinking about Candy’s laugh and face made me drift into a world far away from shooting animals.
“Oh hell, this one time up north, we had to quarter some road kill. Now that’s a story for another day!”
Although a true story, I was really hoping they would let me off the hook without further questioning.
Noticing a five second pause, I took a look at my fake skin watch and said “Well boys, I think it’s time for some music!”
“Knock’em dead Jake! Just tell us what you’re drinking and we’ll take care you from the bar!”
“Eddy I’ll take a cold pitcher of your finest swill. Let’s get this party started!”

The night rolled along as predicted. I offered a standard assortment of old time country cover songs with the occasional Rodney Dangerfield joke thrown in for good measure. The Ducks Unlimited spokesman came up at the end of the second set to finish his part with the auction. He thanked the volunteers and then said “I like to extend a very special thank you to our friend Jake Rivers for providing this top quality entertainment tonight. I think we can all say what a great surprise it’s been to have you grace our stage Jake.”

I walked back to the microphone and said “I’d like to thank all of you for being such a great audience. From the volunteers who cooked that amazing pork dinner to our server Linda behind the bar to Big Eddy who booked me tonight! We’re two sets down and the night is just getting started.”
With those words I announced that I’d be taking a thirty minute break.

I met the same guys circled around the bar for another discussion. I was definitely feeling like I’d already had a bit too much to drink, so without wasting any time, I ordered another pitcher to steady myself. I was holding court with the gang as the topic of conversation was now about music. We were finally in my wheelhouse. After five short minutes I realized I had these guys in stitches.

“One of the days I’m going to marry Loretta Lynn. Just don’t tell Dolly boys. I don’t want to break her heart.”
“If I had Johnny’s Cash and Charlie’s Pride I wouldn’t have a Buck Owen on my car.”
And on and on and on. Basically I was copping lines from the 1970’s American TV show Hee Haw.
“Well, I gotta go for a smoke. I’ll be back for set number three in fifteen minutes.”
“I didn’t know you smoked Jake?”
“Only when I’m drinking. I’m up the three packs a day!” (Another pilfered Dangerfield line).
And with that, I stepped out to the front of the Legion doors to hear the fading laughter and general good time noise of a fully packed Legion Hall at 11:45pm on a hot summer Saturday night in Nowhereville.

As is the case with the outdoor smoking set, it’s generally a scene unto itself. I met a wife pushing her husband in a wheelchair down the ramp to the sidewalk. Once they were settled, I offered them a light and we shared a brief quiet conversation about the starry night while slowly inhaling carcinogenic sticks sanctioned by the same government who issued the Surgeon General’s warning on the packaging.
“Hey look” I exclaimed “I got the one that says ’Smoking may harm unborn babies!’ Guess these ones won’t kill ME then!” They didn’t laugh.
They nodded, smiled and went back inside.

Standing there on my own, I realized it would be a good time for a two-smoke break. You know, collect my thoughts and catch some fresh air. Just as I fired up my second I heard some low mumbling from around the corner. It was a group of BC’s finest youth. They appeared like every other twenty-something in Canada. Wool toques, skateboard and ski logos plastered on every square inch of their clothes, long hair, short hair, nose rings, pierced eye balls, tattoos, ripped jeans. In other words, they were completely normal. They immediately noticed my black attire and pointed to the sign.
“Dude. You’re Jake Rivers! My aunt just texted us and told us to get down here to see you.”
“Yeah that’s me guys. Nice to meet you. Where you all from?”
The conversation meandered for a while and we all shared yet another cigarette. Then, I noticed one of the guys expertly rolling a cannon-sized joint with one hand while holding a lighter and bag full of pot in the other. He was obviously a trained professional.
“Hey Jake, you wanna try some BC bud? It’s the best in the world!”
“Funny you should say that. I was just thinking about weed today. I don’t smoke it really. It makes me paranoid. Besides I’ve had a few too many brews already and I’d better be careful.”
“Oh come on man. You can’t come to BC without trying a bit of our bud.”

I get that same come on everywhere I go:
“You can’t come to Memphis and NOT eat Gus’s Fried Chicken!”
“You can’t come to Quebec City and NOT eat poutine!”
“You can’t come to Rome and NOT see the Vatican!”
“You can’t come to Manitoba and NOT have perogies!”
“You can’t come to Nashville and NOT play at Tootsies!”
“You can’t come to Alma and NOT eat a sticky bun!”

So, with some perverse logic circling around my head I blurted out “What the hell. Fire it up!” And with that I proceed to smoke on this thing like I was Tommy Chong hiding out in his trailer on the set of Up in Smoke. It seemed to have lasted about ten solid minutes.

“Hey Jake, we’re gonna deek inside. Can’t wait to hear you man.”

Within about two minutes I felt a strange feeling come over me. It started with my heart. My heart was palpitating so fast it was draining the blood from my head. Then my eyes started to feel blurry and I was immediately dizzy. I looked over my shoulder to my name ‘Jake Rivers’ flashing on the marquis.

I was very stoned and immediately started questioning my authenticity as a human being.
“What are you doing Aymar? Where are you? A middle-age man in the mountains of BC pretending to be a guy named Jake Rivers? Get your shit together. Settle down and meet a nice girl! Get a job! Mom’s right! What have you become?”

And with that, I staggered to the side of the curb and put my head between my knees and closed my eyes. Suddenly I heard voices in my head. They started off very softly. Riiiiiiiveerrrssssss…..Riiiiveeerrrsssss….Jaaaaakke….Jaaaaakkke….” Then they grew louder and louder until I realized that someone was actually screaming out “JAKE RIVERS, where are you?”
Totally lost into a deep paranoid, panicked realm I thought to myself “Who is this Jake Rivers asshole and why does some guy keep screaming his name?”
“Rivers! Rivers! What’s going on man? It’s almost 12:30 and everyone’s waiting for your next set!”

It was Big Eddy who’d come out to find me. I’d forgotten who I was supposed to be. I’d forgotten just about everything. I looked up at Big Eddy and said, “Just give me another five, I need some air.”

Eddy left me to my own devices and I stood up and tried to walk around in circles to get some air and snap out of this awful state. It wasn’t working. I could barely stand. It was at that exact moment that I had an epiphany. If George (No Show) Jones could do it then so could I.

I stumbled back into the hall to cheers. As I wobbled toward the stage I heard uproarious laughter as I was assuredly pretending to play the town drunk. I staggered over to my guitar and strapped it on. I looked down at my guitar neck, placed my left hand on the fret board and totally blanked out. My guitar was melting. My hand look like it was made of plastic. I couldn’t move my fingers from the G chord position. I looked up to the crowd who were laughing less. I looked back down at my hand. I strummed one chord. I looked up at the crowd one last time to see Big Eddy walking toward the stage.
“Hey Jake, you’re putting us on right? You ok?”
“Eddy, call a cab. I’ll be back tomorrow to get my stuff!”
“What? You’re kidding right?”
“Eddy, can you please call a cab!”

I woke up the next morning to a knock on my door at 11:30 a.m. It was my friendly motel owner and her husband greeting me with a fresh coffee and asking me if I was planning on staying another day. It was a beautiful morning and as I stepped outside to join them I realized just how hungover I was. Ten minutes into our picnic table conversation, the events of the night came back to me. I ran back into my room to realize my guitar was not there. Where was my PA? Where was my gear?

“Oh MY GOD!” I realized what had happened. I didn’t have the heart to tell my new friends that my alter ego Jake Rivers had made a terrible ass of himself a mere twelve hours earlier. I jumped in the shower and did the long walk of shame back to the scene of the crime. Fortunately when I arrived, they were all new faces behind the bar. A younger server and an elderly woman were talking in the kitchen and prepping for the day ahead. The women came out.
“You must be Jake? You’ve come back to get your sound system I take it?”
“Yeah. Geez. Uh. Hmmm. Well. Uh. I’m sorry about last night. I don’t know what happened!” The two of them looked at each other and began to laugh. That one merciful laugh saved me. It was a gesture of pure kindness.
“Well, you wouldn’t believe it if we told you.”
“Please! Tell me what happened after I left.” The young girl took over the story.
“Well, my aunt Linda told Eddy that she’d texted some of the kids to come over to the show. Then after you left, Eddy and Linda brought a few of the boys outside to ask them what happened. They finally admitted to convincing you to smoke some weed. Eddy was really angry. He told them that they had stick around and pack up all of your gear and put it into the back store room. But before that, he used your microphone to apologize on your behalf to everyone. The old timers all know about this strong BC weed. Everyone was mad at the kids for ruining a great night.”
“Are you kidding me? I still take full responsibility for smoking it though. I made that choice.”
“Yeah,” she replied “but it seems to happen to everyone around here at one time or another. Eddy and everyone loved you. Oh, and here’s your money!”

I couldn’t believe it. I walked around the bar and gave both of them a big hug. To think that in a moment of complete fragility, I was offered mercy. I was relieved to find it was cash as I didn’t relish the notion of asking them to cut another cheque under my real name. I immediately pulled out $50 and said “Please buy Eddy and Linda, and everyone a round of drinks on me some night.” Oh, and if you see those kids again, tell them it wasn’t their fault.”

With that, I packed my gear into my car and drove back to the motel. My new friends awaited me with some more fresh coffee and a bowl of fruit.
“My husband would like to hear one of your songs.” It was perfect. I spent the next hour singing Jay Aymar originals and cleansed myself from the sins of my Jake Rivers past. What a great feeling.

“You know, if you like swimming there’s a nice lake about twenty minutes away. It’s where everyone goes on hot Sunday afternoons!” I took them up on their suggestion.

There must have been over two hundred cars in the vast gravel parking lot. People were barbequing, walking dogs, cycling, playing Frisbee and occasionally jumping off the rocks into the water. I walked down and claimed an open spot on the sandy beach, cracked open my half read copy of Carl Hiaasen’s Lucky You and daydreamed my afternoon away.

The next morning, the owners of motel left me a note attached to a small bag on my door.
“It was a pleasure meeting you Jay. Thank you for the music. Here’s a little something for your drive.”
I opened up the bag to find a little box filled with some grapes, a banana, a yogurt cup, a raisin bran muffin and small juice. I dug into my computer bag to fish out one of my Thank You cards reserved for just such occasions and wrote “I’ll never forget you and hopefully our paths will cross again!”

I drove back to the main intersection in town and kept driving for ten hours in an easterly direction -destination unknown. Suddenly, I noticed a small roadside saloon up in the distance. I checked my clock and realized it was already 9 p.m. As I approached this country bar, I saw a vacancy sign blinking in above the door entrance. I pulled out $50 cash from my wallet and walked in with a confident yet humble swagger.

“Hi there, I’m a touring musician just looking to spend the night. I want something clean and quiet and l’ll be leaving early in the morning. I only have $50. YES or NO?”
The girl young girl behind the counter looked a bit panicked. “Well, I’m going to have to call Judy. She’s the owner. Our rooms are usually $45 plus tax!”
“Well, you drive a hard bargain. No need to call Judy. I’ll take it!”

After checking in I came back to the bar for a bite to eat. There’s nothing like a Monday night crowd in remote country saloon.

“What are you drinking buddy?”
“Uh, I’ll have a ginger ale and a look at your menu!”
“Sure. You gonna get up and sing some songs for the open mic?” I turned around to see a house band assembling their gear on stage.
“Well, I think I’ll just sit back and enjoy it tonight!”
The bartender smiled “Yeah, I know how you feel. I can’t sing a lick either.”
I leaned in and asked him “I’m a little lost. For the life of me I can’t remember the name of the last town I was in and I don’t even know where I am now. Where are we?”
He looked at me with a straight face and said “We call it Nowhereville.”
“Wow! Change that ginger ale to a Labatt 50.”
“Labatt 50? No one drinks that around here!”

It was the perfect day to drive around the mountains. A Saturday in July and I’d finished my show in Chilliwack the night before. Chilliwack! What a classic Canadian band! (Wish I had the same affinity for the town) “Whatchya gonna do when I’m gone”. I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do. I’m getting out of here.

I’d left the comfort of my bass and fiddle accompaniment back in Vancouver and was riding solo again. It felt good to be on my own. Some time for reflection to collect my thoughts and with any luck, find a place to settle in for a few days to relax and work on the new songs I’d had floating around in Camry.

It was a rare weekend off without any shows booked. I was so exhausted I was simply content finding a quiet motel for a few days, preferably near the water and away from civilization. I was dreaming of this time alone to simply relax and read a few books; make some home cooked meals; call the girl I’d been trying to see and with any luck finish those new songs I’d been working on.

I finally rolled into a motel nestled into the mountains with a really cool Swiss vibe. “Where are the Vonn Trapp kids?” I thought to myself.
I was greeted at the front desk by and woman who’d obviously not modelled herself after the aesthetic of the property. She had inked sleeves down both arms hanging out of ripped purple tank top. She’d just come in from the back of the office after obviously smoking a Cheech and Chong sized joint.
“Yeah, sorry about that, I had that god-dammed tom cat on the property again. It’s a sonofabitch trying to keep those bastards off the property! So you’re from Ontario. Long way from home. How can help you?”
Whenever I first meet someone who so nervously bursts into a long winded backstory about a subject unrelated to the surroundings, my first reaction is to give that person a lot of time and space. I can feel their socially awkward pain I guess. In this case, I couldn’t figure the source out her panicked breathing. Maybe she was just really, really stoned.

“Wow! Those pesky tom cats can sure mess up a perfectly good afternoon eh?” I responded, trying to bring her into a peaceful frame of mind before I begged for a cheap room rate.

“They sure as shit can! I have too many cats around here as it is and since my old man took off fishing for the week, I’m running around like some chicken with my head cut off. It’s too nice of a day for me to be wasting my time on this shit!”

Now I could tell with certainty that she was extremely high.

“Listen my friend, we’re all booked up for the next week few weeks here. I mean it’s tighter than a bulls ass! It’s busy season in these parts and you’re shit outta luck for a room. Where you have to be tonight?” she asked.

“Well, I’m a musician with about five days off and I’m just looking for a cheap place to crash out and relax. Any ideas?”

“Well, I’d just point my car THAT way and keep drivin’ and askin’ around. If you hit the town of Hope, you’ve gone too far.”
“Why’s that?” I asked.
“Oh you know what they say about Hope! It’s the meth capital of Canada!”

In the past five years I’ve heard so many small towns take claim to this dubious distinction. It’s like I expected to read it on the sign entering town “Welcome to Hope. Meth Capital of Canada.”
Or better yet “Welcome to No Hope. Ride the Roller Coaster over on Meth Mouth Mountain!”

After she mentioned this, I gazed around the property and realized the quaint ‘Sound of Music’ mirage I’d conjured up was just that – a mirage. The dusty Folgers instant crystals bottle and open container of Coffeemate on the rickety TV table near the brochure rack was my first clue. This led me to quickly scanning the property noticing the cat colony and one too many bikers hanging out by the ice machine. I affixed my gaze back toward my nervous hostess and now all I could see were the remnants of what once would have been a pretty smile, now the obvious victim of smoking methamphetamine.

“Thanks for the advice! I’ll keep looking around.” A part of me wanted to offer her a bar of Dial to rinse her mouth out from the prolific amount of swearing she was spewing out to random customers, but the rebel in me loved the fact that she made it sound so natural – almost elegant.
So long, farewell, adieu, adieu, adieu!!!!

I’ll never forget the drive that day. Cruising through the mountains is an amazing experience. One minute you’re overlooking a cliff onto a great body of water and the next you’re witnessing a mountain climb up over the horizon. It truly is a spectacular experience.
My thoughts turned toward my recent encounter with the woman. Maybe she was right? Maybe I should stay out of Hope BC? I wonder how many cats she had on the property. I wonder if her husband was leaving her because of her addiction. Maybe they were both bikers. I wonder if her weed was home grown BC bud. Is BC Bud strong? I wondered how much stronger weed is these days versus the days I tried it back in high school?

I meandered my way through a few more motel properties only to find they were all booked up. It was now getting late into the afternoon and I was ready to find any place to chill out.
Without warning, I came over up over the hill and notice a small county road veering off to my right. As Yogi Berra once famously quipped “when you come to the fork in the road – take it!”
So I veered right and kept on daydreaming. Suddenly I realized I had accidentally taken a service road into the heart of a small unknown town. To this day I still don’t know what town I was in. I’ve forever dubbed it ‘Nowhereville’ in my mind.

I meandered through the town and noticed a quaint little motel right in the heart of the action.
The grounds were immaculate. Every flower was accounted for. Every window shutter bursting with bright white paint and red picnic tables held perfect umbrellas with Canadian flags on them.

As I approached the front desk, I heard an aggressive vacuum cleaner humming out of Room #4.
I made my way toward the room to find a tiny woman smiling away while completing her task.
Upon noticing me, she turned it off and approached me with a big grin “Hello, are you looking for a room?”
“Yes I am! I’m just wondering what your rates are?”
“Well, how many are in your party?”
“It’s just me,” I replied. “I’m a musician looking for a quiet place to take a few days off to relax.”
And as if she couldn’t possibly radiate any more joy, her grin grew even wider.
“Oh my dear God! My husband and I love music. We love everything about music. It ran in our family you know. Do you do this for a living?”
“Yes I do. I’m a touring songwriter.”
“A touring songwriter! Oh my, that sounds so exotic. What does that mean?”
“I write and sing my own songs, play them on my acoustic guitar and usually perform them with a band consisting of a fiddle, bass, and guitar!”
“Ahhhh what a beautiful gift. My husband will be back tomorrow. I want you to stay for the weekend to meet him. This is amazing.”

Every once in a while, the musician will encounter this type of enthusiastic soul. Someone who is so connected to the lifestyle of an artist that they’re simply contagious. These little cherished moments become the important ones. They are never to be understated. This woman was all heart and I was all ears.

She brought out some homemade lemonade and we shared a great conversation at the round picnic for about thirty minutes. Her and her husband moved to Canada in the early 60’s from Poland. It was a familiar immigrant story but one with so many highlights. After their children were raised they purchased the motel and put down new roots. The motel was completely spotless. Every ounce of their love and attention blanketed the grounds. From the trimmed hedges to the flower gardens to the freshly painted lines on the new paved parking lot.

She continued “So let me ask you? What is your favourite place in Canada?”
(This question is asked of me daily and I’m so often used to giving a pat response.)
“Well they all have their unique charm. I’m not really sure if we’re all totally the same or if geography dictates differences between us?”
She immediately stopped me “I think the mountains make us who we are here. We are mountain people. Island people are island people. Bush people are bush people. Ocean people are ocean people. City people are city people! I could never live in the city!”
I went on to tell her about a thesis I wrote in University comparing and contrasting the difference between two historians who discussed this exact point.
Knowing I was going to sound pretentious I just committed to sharing this story and began, “Harold Innis and Donald Creighton discussed the effect of geography and communications on the development of the Canadian identity. From what I can remember we Canadians had an easy go of it getting to the centre of our country down the St. Lawrence. Then the railroad out west made it easy for us to get people out here and information back to Ottawa. We didn’t have that lawless west – that pioneering spirit of the US! So maybe that’s why we don’t subscribe to gun culture (outside of hunting) like our friends to the south. We didn’t need them as much. ”

I remember rambling on for another few minutes until she stopped me again “Like I said, our geography makes us who we are! Mountain people are mountain people. Island people are island people!”

We both paused to laugh for good while. Then she continued. “Well, you’ve told me some helpful things my son, now I want to help you!”

“The next time you’re hoping to find a good rate at a motel I want you do use these tips!”
“Walk in with $50 cash and say,” I am a musician on the road across Canada and just want a bed for the night. I want something quiet where I can sleep. I won’t require room service. I won’t need a thing. I just want a clean and quiet room.” Then hold out the $50 and ask YES or NO. What’s the worst that can happen? You have to drive to the next motel to do the same thing? Easy right? That’s how you do it! This will surely save you some money.”
Her words of wisdom have been forever etched into my brain. I’ve been using this tactic ever since and can assure you it still works better than Expedia! So with that, she showed me my room and I agreed to stay for the weekend. I gave her a few CD’s and stepped into my digs for a quick siesta.

I woke up after dinner and thought it would be a nice time for a stroll around town. After a twenty minute walk toward the edge of town I saw a blinking arrow below a bright yellow sign which read “Ducks Unlimited Meat Draw – Tonight!” The arrow pointed to a Legion Hall just around the corner.
“Maybe it’s a perfect time for an ice cold draft” I thought to myself.

I walked into the Legion and sat up at the bar.
A man resembling the character actor Wilfred Brimley walked out with his green work shirt on, black suspenders , wildly overgrown handlebar moustache and said “What can I get you buddy?”
“How about a Labbatt 50!”
“Labatt 50? No one orders that one around here anymore. Where you from?”
“Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario. Don’t hold it against me. I decided to take a few days off and relax in town here. Anyway, I’ll just take a cold draft.”
“Here you go. So you’re on vacation?”
“No. I wish. I’m a touring musician and the band has headed off in different directions and I’m just working my way home to Ontario now.”
“You don’t say! What kind of stuff do you play?”
This is when I noticed he might have been interested in something.
I was wary of going down this path. I really just wanted a few days off from the crazy schedule I’d been keeping. I really wasn’t into strapping the guitar back on for at least another four days.
“Well, I play just about anything. My own stuff mainly.”
“Oh really? What kind of stuff is that?”
(This is when I offer up a stock line for my own amusement summoning the curse of The Boss.) “They say I’m the next Bob Dylan!”
“You know, you got me thinking. We have a big fundraiser here tonight and you’d think I could have found a band? Everyone was booked up and I was kind of stuck. Do you do any old time country?”
At this exact moment I had a decision to make. Would I? Should I? If I go with this, how should I proceed?
“Well, yeah I can do some old country. Cash , Willie and Haggard type of stuff if it’s requested.”
His grin rivalled that of my new friend back at the motel.
“Ok, sit tight right there. I have to make a call and see what we have in the budget!”
This was the tipping point. I either stop him now or let him make the call. I decided I’d let it play out.

I already knew what the offer was going to be. A standard pub rate with all of the food and drinks a glutton could ask for. I had already accepted the offer in my mind but tonight I would allow my alter ego, Jake Rivers, a chance to take the stage. Besides, Jake was itching to get back into the limelight after his long hiatus.

Jake Rivers was an invention born out of necessity. Rivers was invented one weekend near Simcoe Ontario when I had a ticketed show for $10 in town, yet another nearby venue wanted to book me to play cover songs the following night. The financial offer to perform the covers show was great so I agreed to it. I then realized that it could backfire if some people paid to see my serious ‘artiste’ show one night then could catch my pandering sing-along shtick the following night for free. I asked them to put the name Jake Rivers on the marquis. It made perfect sense in a nonsensical kind of way.

It was nickname given to me from my family after working up in the northern bush camps for a few summers. Jake Two Rivers to be exact was pulled from a character from a 1960’s CBC show called The Forest Rangers. It ran well into the 90’s in syndication and it had that true Canadiana feel. Without the Forest Rangers, there would have been no Beachcombers. What Canadian kid without cable didn’t love those shows? One of the main characters on the show was Joe Two Rivers, a wise First Nation’s man who consistently imparted traditional aboriginal wisdom to those around him. When I arrived home from my first summer of working up north, my family was calling me Joe Two Rivers. That soon changed to Jay Two Rivers. It stuck. Finally, that fateful night in Simcoe, Ontario when the venue owner asked for my name, I quickly blurted out Jake Rivers. Jake was close enough to Jay so I wouldn’t feel totally fraudulent. I had to drop the “Two” to tighten things up. I even had my cover story about how I was in the studio working on my first full length album entitled: Rivers Runs Wild.

So, as I sat up the Legion Bar nursing my 8oz draft, Brimley sauntered back behind the bar and made me the offer.
“We’ll even throw in meal and drinks?”
“Ok let’s go for it. What time?”
“Let’s say around 8:00pm till whenever? How many sets do you normally play?”
“Oh let’s just play that one by feel. If it’s rockin, I’ll keep going. If it’s dying out, I’ll wind it down. When’s last call?”
“We can’t go any later than 2:00am. Hey what did you say your name was?”
“Jake Rivers. And yours?”
“The call me Big Eddy”.
“Alright Eddy, I’ll go grab my stuff and be back in a few hours!”
“Looking forward to it Jake. I’ll put the word out!”

I walked back to the motel quite excited about the night the awaited me. I instinctively knew the crowd that would be attending. They would mainly consist of friendly seniors from the area. There would be a few war vets sprinkled into the mix along with a high percentage of hunters, some conservationists, the women of the local crafting, quilting and crocheting auxiliary, and the usual assortment of Legion volunteers and members who come out every weekend to have some fun and visit old friends. They’d all be primarily of Scot and Irish descent with names like Smith, Campbell and MacDonald. They’d request songs like Okie from Muskogee, It’s Hard to Be Humble even the occasional Stompin’ Tom song. In short, they were going to love Jake Rivers.

I made my pit stop back at the motel a quick one. I took another thirty minute power nap, changed my guitar strings, put on black jeans, black shirt, black boots, black belt (with silver belt buckle) and mentally morphed into Jake Rivers during the short drive over.
Upon pulling up the building, I noticed they’d taken the time to update the flashing marquis above the door.
TONIGHT
DUCKS UNLIMMITED CHARITY ACUTION AND MEAT DRAW
FEATURING OLD TIME COUNTRY MUSIC BY JAKE RIVERSto be continued….

Hello friends,
If it feels like I’ve been a bit stingy on the ramblings lately well that’s just because I’ve been hoarding my words for this book.
With some cajoling by many of you and a fierce internal battle about it all, I’ve decided that the world needs another book much like I need a hole in the head. I’ve dissected many of my previous tall tales and tightened them up a bit with the help of a great editor who worked closely with me to help ‘keep my voice’ throughout these pages.
The stories selected were the ones which had the most traction as evidenced by the hit counts online.
I’ve even added a few new ones for you. Below is the preface of the book as it will appear.

We’re going to be touring across Canada again this year starting in a few weeks. (Find the Western Tour dates at the bottom of this page). We still have a few open dates so if you are willing to host us, we’re willing to discuss the opportunity. I’ve been in discussions with several book stores for readings and concerts as well so if you’re connected to a book store, please pass this along.

Pre-orders can be made directly to me where I’ll sign one and put it aside for you. (info@jayaymar.com)

———————–

PREFACE

Some days I don’t even know where I’m from anymore. Most days I can’t remember what town I’ve left or where I’m off heading to. I might forget the names and the faces but it’s the stories I remember. They find their way into my songs. These are your stories.

Why do I continue to write songs and release music and tour? Perhaps I do it for my own selfish reasons: ego; acceptance; freedom; internal rewards. It appears to have nothing to do with money and everything to do with that which money cannot buy. It’s a mystery. It’s illusive. It is magic and mayhem. It’s often a lie, but it feels closer to the truth than anything I’ve ever known. For the time being, it’s a living.

Depending on the venue and where I’m touring, I’ll often perform with regional players. This has allowed me to meet so many amazingly artistic souls out there. For example, how else could I meet a man like Donnie Zueff from Beausejour, Manitoba? Who’s Donnie you might ask?

Donnie is not only a great fiddle player, he’s a walking, talking encyclopaedia of Canadian music. By the time we hooked up, he had learned my catalogue of songs and we were off for a two-week tour together. I couldn’t have been more satisfied with my new road companion. I was not only treated to fiddle virtuosity during our live performances, but classic Canadian road stories from a guy who’d played through every decade from the 60’s onward. Among the highlights were stories of his childhood friend Burton Cummings to his time spent in the Canadian music scene from then until now.

Our discussions often shifted toward his main gig for many years touring with a Canadian songwriter Rick Neufeld, a folk singer who played at coffeehouses throughout North America and who also wrote the beautiful, iconic song entitled ‘Moody Manitoba Morning’. It’s such a great song and it seemed that wherever Donnie and I performed across Manitoba, people of certain generation knew that song as it if were part of their DNA.

“Hey Donnie, did you ever ask Rick how he wrote that one? It sounds like it came to him quickly?”
“Well, I think it did. The good ones always do, eh?” he replied.
“That song really captures the essence of this landscape if you know what I’m saying?“ I said.
“Do I know what you’re saying? I’ve only played that song thousands of times with Neuf and it gives me shivers every time. You’re lucky if you can write one of those songs in your career Jay!“

This is how our conversation went during our long drives between shows. Donnie enjoyed driving as much as I did. He held the same Zen-like philosophy on how it helped him meditate and fuel his creativity. I agreed with Donnie, telling him I did most of my best song-writing when I had the car on cruise and could just let the highway drift by.

At one point, our conversation shifted from music to food and how to live with a champagne appetite on a beer income.

“Yeah, well once you get to the point where you can cook a full roast beef dinner with aluminum foil and chicken wire on the engine block, then you’ll know you’ve arrived,” Donnie said with a smile.
“Oh that old standby,” I replied. “Heard of it but never tried it! So let me guess, you fed your band mates seven-course meals five nights a week with that trick?”
“It’s hard to believe buddy but happiness really IS only a cheap cut of beef, some tin foil and eight hours of open road.”

We were about two weeks on the road during that segment of the tour when Donnie suggested that I consider recording a live show.

“You should capture this part of your musical journey with a live recording. It’s a great experience and you’ll always have it as a testament to where you were this point in your career and life. It’s all coming back to this anyway,” he added with conviction.

“What do you mean” I replied?

“Well, music has always been a community thing. It’s always been about people playing songs for their friends and family. You know the way it was around the around the campfires and in the kitchens and back porches and barns and dance halls. It’s all coming back. If you ever take it more seriously than what it is, then the fun is gone.”

Profoundly he added, “Why do they call it playing music? They call it playing music because it’s meant to be fun. It brings me down when musicians take it for more than that. You know what I mean?
Anyway, I think you should just get your band together and make a live CD. Record the songs you’ve written that mean the most to you!”

“I can’t disagree with that logic Donnie,’ I responded. I agree with you. Everything is coming around full circle.”

After a few great weeks of shows the Manitoba portion of my tour was complete. I’d come away learning more about Manitoba socials, the Pierogi line, Ukranians and Mennonites, fiddles, accordions, rock’n rollers, farmers, hippies and best of all, how to cook a pot roast on an engine block. Hell, it beats working for a living.

Before Donnie and I went our separate ways, I had to ask him one last time. “What did your dad say when you told him you wanted to learn to play the violin?”
“Well, when I told him I wanted to play the violin, he responded in his thick Russian accent: ‘Vy do you vant to learn the wyolin? Vy don’t you learn something that vill make you money, like the accordion?’”

“Oh man I love that one. Thanks again for the laugh’s man. Good luck with the D. Rangers reunion next year!”
“For sure Jay. See you on the trail. Make a live recording! It’s important. ”

I was drove westward to meet Sahra Featherstone who had been accompanying me on violin and harp during many of my Toronto shows during that past year. Sahra’s command over both instruments is astounding. For over twenty years she has toured the world with a who’s who of musicians. When I ask her about the essence of her musical journey she inevitably grins and says, “It’s who I am.”

She was flying into Calgary in a few days where we’d meet up and perform three weeks of shows throughout Alberta and into the beautiful islands of British Columbia.

When we finally met I immediately discussed Donnie’s idea of capturing a live recording.

We talked about it at length for another two weeks. Our talks ventured into the current realities of music industry. The amazing shows, the soul-destroying shows, and the toll it can take on the psyche and body.

It was during one of these long conversations that I revealed my darkest musical secret. I disclosed how I was once so spiritually and financially bankrupt I threw artistic caution to the wind and jumped onto a cruise ship for a few months to perform the North American songbook as though I was a poor man’s Wayne Newton.

“Aymar, if you don’t write a book and put that story in it, I’ll disown you!” Sahra warned.
“Ok Featherstone, as long as you allow me to share your bad artistic decisions too!”
“No way man. I don’t sell out and tell!”

We meandered our way through the BC islands playing to appreciative audiences and taking in the spectacular scenery. There’s nothing quite like an outdoor concert with mountains painting the distant sky against a full moon. We eventually found ourselves in Squamish, BC, staring at Big Chief, the Canadian mountain climber’s mecca. Sahra would stay here for a while to climb the mountain while I ventured eastward to continue on with my tour.

I returned home a month later to decompress and get back to some much need bookwork. Soon afterward I received a call from David and Janet Tangness a couple who’d seen my show at The Apollo in Thunder Bay, Ontario earlier that summer. They were interested in booking me for a series they ran.
“Jay, we might be able to have you record this in Janet’s small church in Scarborough, ON. She’s part of the choir and we’ve successfully put on shows there in the past!”
“Wow David. The acoustics would be amazing. I think we should do it!”

The next morning I contacted my band and we pulled it together: Vivienne Wilder, double bass; Joe Ernewein, guitar and piano; Sahra Featherstone, violin and harp; and yours truly, guitar and vocals. I was even lucky enough to have my friend Jadea Kelly join me on a few songs. The next call was to my faithful studio engineer, Chris Hess who was more than willing to help capture the live recording.

The song selections were deliberate. They were mostly songs I’d written about questioning spirituality. They were songs about the bigger questions. Even the fun songs and the love songs would have a spiritual component. I would call it “The Chicken Came First”, culled from the line of a brand new song I’d just finished.

While ruminating on how the live show should play out, a number of ideas ran through my head. Should I add a long accompanying booklet? Maybe I should offer some short stories? Maybe Featherstone is right? Maybe I should turn this into a book? Maybe I could add some illustrations to compliment some song scores?

I wondered if Pearl Rachinsky, a Canadian artist and illustrator I’ve long admired, would be interested in illustrating the book for me. One phone call later and a lengthy discussion about chickens and Pearl agreed.

So, on February 7, 2015 we assembled into the small Trinity Church in Scarbourgh, Ontario and made the live recording. It was the perfect choice.

Soon afterwards, I tidied up a few of my short stories and prepared them for the accompanying book.

The Chicken Came First (and other half-truths from my life as a touring songwriter)

Just a very quick update to those of you across Canada who read my occasional musings. Something is happening here and you should know what it is – isn’t that right Mr. and Mrs. Jones? I’m recording my first live record. I realize you may not be in Toronto but I’m sure you may have friends who’d like to contribute a random whistle or ill timed clap? Forward them them the details. They’d love you for it.

The album will be accompanied by an extensive lyric book and many stories of how the songs were inspired along with a sampling of my road stories. The booklet design and artwork will be created by the incredible illustrator Pearl Rachinksy. We’ve worked together in the past and she’s simply amazing.
Vivienne Wilder will be charting the songs as well.

On February 7th at The Church of the Holy Trinity, Guildwood (East Toronto) I’m performing with my band The Abercrombie Zombies (Sahra Featherstone (violin / harp), Joe Ernewein (guitar), Vivienne Wilder (upright bass) and special guest Jadea Kelly to assist with some guest vocals)

Book: The Chicken Came First: And other Half-Truths from my Life on the Road. CD to accompany book: Jay Aymar and The Abercrombie Zombies – LIVE

I’m not sure why I’m thinking about fashion and music this morning but “I think it has something to do with the way that I fill out my skin-tight blue jeans! Oh….Lord it’s hard to be humble!” No, that’s not what I’m really thinking. I’m thinking about the show I had at home over the holidays where a random guy from my old high-school caught me during the break and said “Aymar, why do I see pictures of you on stage wearing black cowboy boots, a black shirt, and black jeans? I’ve seen you wearing a collared shirt, a suit jacket and tie on stage? What’s that all about man? There’s already one Kristofferson and why would you want to wear a f’n collared shirt if you’re a folk singer? I would have thought then that the freedom of being a folk singer was so that you never had to wear a tie or fancy boots ever again? I only remember you with a t-shirt and jeans and sneakers! Why not just dress the way you dress. You’re a folk singer. Who gives a shit?”
As God is my witness, I couldn’t remember who this guy was. Really. He was from my high-school and either looked so much different that I didn’t recognize him OR he was never really on my radar to begin with. I was obviously on his. (Come to think of it, I wonder how many people’s radar’s I’m not on?). But as these situations call for thinking on the fly I responded with “Huh…you’re right!” Nice. Quick thinking Aymar.
And he WAS right! I’ve been asking myself his question ever since. I only ever wore t-shirts, blue jeans and sneakers. Usually t-shirts that were given to me from my older brothers or ones that mom brought home from parts unknown. My favourite one read “Life’s a beach, then you die!” Wow…so heavy. The shoes were always white Adidas. As my Uncle Brendy told me (and I trusted him because he ran the best sporting goods store in the country – The Duke of Windsor – still going) that ADIDAS stands for “All day I dream about sex!” I was ten when he told me that and he was forever my God. Then his wife, Aunt Dot chimed in “Brendy – that’s not true. It stands for ‘All day I dream about sports!” Years later I came to realize they were both lying. I bought my runners there every year until Brendy convinced me to buy Tennis shoes called Stan Smith’s. They were great. Then they disappeared. It was back to ADIDAS.
The blue jeans were always Levis. For a while it was Howwick Painter Pants and Jordache Jeans but they were always for the ‘too cool’ rich kids (or smart, hard working kids who held down two paper routes at once). I remember the year I didn’t get any cool Levi’s handed down to me and I had to walk around grade 9 with Brand-X jeans. Yeah…that’s what they were called “BRAND-X” right there on the label above my boney ass. Dark blue denim…they came with a sticker that you slapped on your forehead that read “Hi girls…don’t ever give me a chance.” I’d walk down the hallway muttering: “All day I dream about sex” and then go play some sports.
Funny that this random guy remembered the jean jacket. It was a hand-me-down and this girl from St. Joe’s Island painted Neil Yonge’s Harvest album cover on the back of it. That was my favourite album in grade 9 and I loved that jacket. My mom thought it looked ratty and donated it to the Sally Ann. I’m still waiting to see some random sixty year old wearing that jacket in Moncton, or Vancouver someday.
So, thanks random guy from high school for reminding me that I never used to care about what I wore. My favourite line about fashion is from that song from Midnight Cowboy – “I’m going down to where the weather suits my clothes!”

So today I’ll take that money I made the other night and buy some white Adidas sneakers instead of that painting. I’m going to wear them everywhere from now on. I’m washing my old Levi’s and t-shirts. I’m never wearing anything else ever again.
I hope she’s cool with my hard lined fashion stance at that wedding next weekend.

PART 3(from Part 2) I knew something was up because Zoran was always much too busy to actually sit and break the bread during a Saturday dinner rush. “Jay, tonight’s a special night as my parents are visiting. They have friends and relatives coming in from the old country. We’re going to reserve these tables in the back and have a traditional meal prepared for them. It’s my mother’s birthday! I know it’s going to get busy in here in a few hours and the Newfies…well you know what I mean…the Newfies will get a little crazy. They’re going to want you to drink on stage and play those dirty songs. Now you know I like that normally uh? Right? You know I like what you do, but just for tonight I need you to calm down. Just take it easy. You can still have some drinks but don’t play those songs. Especially that’a song about “It’s forty below and I don’t giva fuck! OK? Just wanted you to know!”“You got it Zoran. Gonna be a fun night man.”
Famous last words.

Flash forward to 9pm.

I find myself on stage with the usual Saturday night glow. The joint was jumping. Suddenly, in walks Zoran in a white suit accompanied by his wife in a long sequined black dress and an entourage of Euro-chic relatives and friends adorned in silk and fur. It was like a NOLA Mardi Gras procession, only the revelers weren’t jazz fans – they were Stompin Tom fans – and I wasn’t Dr. John, I was “Dr. J ” master of disguises. As they made their way to the reserved table, the place was overcome with an audible hush. There became the implicit understanding that Zoran had special guests in the house, and even the Newfies were obliged to calm down (a feat akin to the Apollo landing).

Midnight. The hour in any bar when “ALL BETS ARE OFF AND NO ONE IS FAITHFUL”. (I want to credit this line and philosophy to an Irish Public House owner from Dublin who I met while in Athens Greece. He’d just retired from inheriting the business from his family after having started in the bar at the age of twelve. “Fifty five fucking years later son and I finally sold it! There isn’t a story I haven’t heard or thing about human nature I haven’t observed! I know one thing for sure ” Give people a few drinks and by the time it hits midnight ALL BETS ARE OFF AND NO IS FAITHFUL!” I never forgot that.)

Midnight. The crowd had become seemingly restless with my lack of antics they’d come to know and love. They slowly started demanding pure nonsense: “Bud the Spud! I’ve Seen Pubic Hair!” The tension grew palpable and suddenly the rising din of beer bottles being slammed on the table to the tune of RODEO SONG – RO – DE – O – SONG….clang clang clang. It was medieval. It was enticing. It was something I just couldn’t do.
Suddenly Zoran, as if in slow motion, stood up from the back of the room, glowing in his white suit, made a gesture with his hand across his throat as if to say “DO NOT PLAY THAT SONG – PLEASE? AS WE DISCUSSED EARLIER” and stared directly into my blood-shot soul.

That split second felt as though it was an eternity. If I’d have played the song, who knows what Zoran would have done? Would he throw me out on the spot for this amazing betrayal? If I didn’t play the song, my legions of lowest common denominator fans would have surely staged a mutiny. How could I live with devalued street cred (at least until the after party kicked in).
Then I had a thought. It’s the kind of boozed soaked thought that can only come when you get off on walking the tight rope of social decorum. Zoran and his family represented about ten people. The revelers represented ten times that. Simple math? Besides, it was not like Zoran and myself had ever shared more than a five minute conversation in the two years I’d been there. But the fans…MAN. The fans! They’d become my friends. I thought, if I appease them I can’t go wrong. Zoran will forgive me once he sees the bar receipts and I’ll retain all street cred. So, without further adieu I took the soldiers stance…I put my hands in the G chord position, slowly raised my fresh pint of draft and toasted the bar, toasted Zoran’s mother – sang happy birthday and spoke into the mic. “Zoran, please forgive me, but it’s cold outside and I have to go start my truck because we’re heading to the rodeo tonight.”
“Well it’s forty below
And I don’t give a fuck
Got a heater in my truck
And I’m off to the rodeo
It’s an allamande left
And allamande right
C’mon you fuckin’ dummy
Get your right step right
Get offstage you goddamn goof
Y’know you piss me off
You fucking jerk
Get on my nerves”….

The place erupted like Manchester United scoring the go ahead goal with a second to go. It felt like an over-reaction. It seemed too obvious – as though the bar levied an insult directly to Zoran and his unsuspecting family. I saw the white flash of his suit crumble into his chair. Disgraced and humiliated in his own bar. A man too gracious to make a scene in front of his family he let the show go on and rode out the night. I continued to play well past 1am and as they paraded out of the bar Zoran leaned in to me and quietly whispered “It was a good run! Come by for breakfast tomorrow.”

The morning after hangover depression only heightened how bad I felt for my behaviour the night before. But then again, I was used to that feeling. Nothing a few days of sobriety and hard work wouldn’t cure. That filthy need to be loved – the great ego stroke – fucking hubris – booze – weed – it all took over and in one moment I’d betrayed Caesar when he was at his most vulnerable. A guy who’d been nothing other than fair to me. Maybe that girl who’d left that message on my phone a few hours earlier was right. I truly WAS an asshole. I could only hope Zoran would understand that it was all just a blur of good times with some poor choices made along the way.

“Jay, I don’t know what to say about what happened here last night man. I know things get out of control and I guess I am partially to blame for letting it happen. It’s not all your fault!” (Are you kidding me? What a guy!)
“Well, Zoran, I was caught up in the moment and really didn’t want to offend YOU, I was just playing into the crowd. I’m really sorry man!”

It was during breakfast that we had our longest conversation. I learned even more about his family back home and his current family in Canada. He told the story of why he bought the bar and all of his future plans. He couldn’t believe I had a university degree and that I’d been playing other shows as a songwriter. It was a great way to end things. He was ready for a change and so was I. It was meant to happen. But before I left, he told me a story that really taught me a lesson.
“Jay, do you remember six months ago you were playing Saturday afternoon matinees? Performing your own songs?”
“Yeah for sure. It was OK but it wasn’t too profitable for either of us as I recall.”
“Well, there was that elderly Jewish man sitting at the bar with a friend who was paying a lot of attention to your songs. Remember him?”
“Yes I do. He wrote down his first name and phone number on a piece of paper beside the word DIRECTOR but I just thought it all seemed too weird. I remember him saying he worked in film and really liked the song I wrote about my mom. Why?”
“Well, he really is a highly respected Canadian director you know. He came back in here a few months ago and told me how disappointed he was that you didn’t follow up with a phone call. He was going to give you a break. You didn’t take it seriously man. He really was upset!”
“Oh wow, Zoran. You’re killing me. I guess my cynicism is my worst trait.”
“No, Jay….you just have to start believing in yourself a bit more.’
I’ll never forget that conversation with Zoran. He was setting me straight.
(Having saved the number I actually called the director the following week – who must remain nameless – and apologized for not following up right away. He scolded me and talked about missed opportunities and professionalism and kindly asked that I not contact him again. Ouch.)

I would walk by the bar a few more times over the next couple of years and it seemed awfully quiet. It always filled me with mixed emotions. Finally, one night I was out on a first date and she said “Hey, that bar has Karaoke! Let’s go try it out!”
Without even getting into it, I let her lead me back into Cheers. I couldn’t believe what was going on. It was the first time I’d ever seen my replacement. The stage had been moved to the right. There was a new sound system with some random dude inviting everyone to come up to sing and dance while they read the words on a TV screen. After watching a steady stream of folks hit the stage to butcher Patsy Cline’s Crazy, I decided to kick it old school and give them an ironic version of American Pie. For eight glorious minutes I sang about The Big Bopper, Elvis, Janis Joplin, Buddy Holly and Chevrolet’s and some good old boys drinking whiskey and rye. Karaoke. The day the music died – INDEED!

I didn’t recognize a single person in the place. I walked up to the bar and asked “Hey is Zoran here tonight?”
“Zoran? Oh god no. He sold this place over a year ago. Who are you?”
“Oh I used to play here on weekends a while ago!”
“YOU’RE JAY? People come in here and ask about you all the time. They want to know where you’re playing these days?”
“Oh that’s nice…mostly just taking a break.”
“Cool. Hey are you the guy that played that Rodeo song one night?”

I smirked and walked away knowing that the story and the legendary night had lived on. If you’re gonna go out…you may as well go out in a great ball of fire like Jerry Lee Lewis. (Mind you – it’s not like I married my thirteen year old cousin or anything.)

Oh and the Buick LeSabre Estate Station Wagon with wood grained paneling? It caught fire in my driveway. The neighbour saved our house by putting it out with a fire extinguisher. I sold it for parts for $200.

“Well it’s forty below and I really give a fuck cuz I don’t have a truck and I’m off to the rodeo!”

PART 2(from Part 1) I was playing my guitar regularly by then and had written a bunch of self-indulgent songs about hitch-hiking, kings and castles, fish in the ocean. They were all shit. A few of them found their way into a CBC contest and they made a little demo of my stuff. I was even playing a few folk festivals on weekends and opening for established artists like Fred Eaglesmith and Willie P. Bennett. I didn’t take it seriously at all. Why would I? I had a great job selling water door to door. A pimped out station wagon and a Hondo Flying V electric guitar, fender amp, and a Samick acoustic for late night hangs. All I really wanted was a place to drink for free on weekends. I had a master plan….

I figured if I could learn another fifty of the standard sing-along songs (Brown Eye Girl, American Pie) I could cold call my way into a deal with some local bar owner and see what we could work out. I’d already had several hundred of them blazed into my memory. How? I don’t quite know how. That little miracle just happens to me. A strange memory for songs I like.
My roommates were more than happy to be rolling with the liberal arts dude now. They could make real money during the week, but the true currency would be with the party happening back at our house after the gig when the bar was invited over.

So, I did my walkabout and after several unsuccessful attempts I stumbled into a bar called Cheers. (Back when the sitcom CHEERS was a mainstay in North American culture, every uncreative, copyright infringing trust fund baby from the Greatest Generation decided he would invent his own version of the bar ‘as seen on TV’!) Now in my quest to find a suitable partner for my pending venture, I thought, ‘hmmmm – anyone who’d be willing to stake their life savings on ripping off a TV sitcom theme for their bar is likely going to an easy sell!”
Cheers, was just as you’d think it should be. A typical wood and brass interior with a pool table in the back, a long narrow bar along one side, a stage in front of the window. Patrons were greeted with that familiar odour of fried chicken wing – meets carpet freshener – meets stale draft and cigarette smoke. A notch above the basement lounge of the Waverly.

“Hi I’m looking for the owner!”
“I’m the owner. How can I help you?”
“Hey…my name is Jay Aymar a singer songwriter guy who just moved into the neighbourhood. I’m looking to find a place to play my guitar and sing songs every weekend. I’m just making some cold calls as I live around the corner.”
“My name is Zoran. Nice to meet you. Interesting you say that. We were JUST talking about mixing things up in here and recently bought a new PA. What did you have in mind?”
“Well, I don’t know really. Make me an offer?”
“Well, how about you come in this Saturday night and we’ll see how it goes. I’ll offer you $300 and all you can drink!” (Ahh the good old days – try to find a place in TO that’ll give an upstart solo sing-along ACT more than $100. Wait a minute! The solo singalong thing barely exists anymore (outside of el tourista patios down in Margaritaville . Guess they pay DJ’s a lot more than that now).
“Sounds good to me Zoran! See you Saturday.”

With that, I raced home and told the gang the great news. We were now hooked up to a three second stumble from our home at the place where ‘everybody should at least know our names’ in short order!
It was going to be epic.

The first gig was quiet save for one group of Northern Secondary High grads in the back room playing pool. They were seemingly on the boarder of being of age but it struck me very quickly that Cheers was not looking too closely at the fake ID’s. The two servers had been working with Zoran since it opened a few years prior, and they were not only TO beauties, they loved to have fun and encouraged rowdy behaviour at every step. We got to know them all so well as they would come back to the after party ritual every weekend. So during my first break, I met Jim, the kid who was the biggest music fan of them all. “Hey buddy, that was great stuff. Are you going to play here every weekend? If so, we’ll get everyone form the neighbourhood to come out!”
“Yeah, it’s a test run tonight but if it goes we’ll we’re going to keep going every weekend.”

Oh so it was. Jim and his crew told everyone in the hood and before too long the tables started filling up. Let me state again – this was in no way a professional gig. I would stand on the stage and play for four hours straight – singing, drinking, smoking, telling jokes, bringing up people for some stupid human tricks. You name it.

One time a bra-less peroxided blonde with huge 90’s hair jumped up on stage, took her top off and began to grind me and the mic stand! Mid song! (I’m sure I protested loudly! lol). Now you’d think someone would have found this inappropriate behaviour? Not so. Everyone laughed and cheered until finally Jim ran up onto the stage and raised both of our arms like we’d just finished a prize fight and battled it to a draw! I can’t make this shit up! She fumbled around for her Iggy Pop t-shirt, put it back on and resumed drinking. I recall seeing her at our party later on that night.

One night, Jim brought in about five tables of his friends and some relatives who must have been from the east coast. These guys kept requesting Stompin Tom Connors and McLean and McLean! I knew about two Stompin Tom songs but hadn’t really learned any McLean and McLean. For those of you who don’t know the difference between the two? Well, it’s very slim. One sings funny songs about Canada and the others sings funny songs about Canada – only one is peppered with filthy words. McLean and McLean’s biggest hit was a cover called The Rodeo Song “It’s forty below and I don’t give a fuck gotta heater in my truck and I’m off to the rodeo!”

Things got so ridiculous that these guys were walking up on to the stage with weed crammed into their cigarettes (cleverly disguised – NOT) and placing it LIT – into the ashtray next to me, while the crowd challenged me to a chugging contest. Yes this all happened. The strange thing was, it didn’t matter how many pints I downed, I could always remember the words to every song and many said they enjoyed my really intoxicated show better than my semi-intoxicated show. I believe they were right.

Jim’s east coast relatives who showed up must have felt right at home when I started singing Stompin Tom and The Rodeo Song. The place erupted. I mean ERUPTED. That night about forty of us piled into our house for the after party and played as many songs as I could. That week I immediately learned ten more Stompin Tom songs and a few more McLean and Mcleans with the promise to see them all again the following Saturday for round two.

The one thing you have to know about Maritimers (especially Newfoundlanders) , when they find something they like, they’re loyal as hell. I swear the have their version of an underground railroad and secret telegraph and when they want to show their support – the ‘put the word out’ and BOY do they come out of the woodwork.

The next week I showed up and the place was filled. Suddenly, I was the draw. The main event. I was barely ready for this. I mean emotionally. It meant continuing this charade of playing the big drinker, loud , obnoxious, pot smoking humourist with a guitar singing bawdy songs for drunks. How would my liver manage? How could my psyche manage? I was still trying to be a respected songwriter in completely different circles? I don’t quite know how I embraced it all …but somehow I managed.

I stood up that night and drank my way through the proceedings. The server told me she’d served more draft that night then any night previous. “Jay, I think you should renegotiate your deal with Zoran! You should go for a higher percentage of the bar sales!”
“No Joanne, a deals a deal. Zoran’s been good to me and he lets me drink and eat for free. I’m good with this arrangement (if I only knew then what I know now! Geeeshhh).
The weekly Saturday engagement turned into a lot of doubled up dates. (Fridays and Saturdays) .Saturday’s often had capacity line-ups and suddenly I was the one responsible for drawing every Newfie from parts unknown into the Yonge and Eglinton area . It was bound to blow up. it had to! Nothing this crazy can last forever. Right? It carried on for 20 months like this and there was no end in sight. I’d dated every girl who worked at the place and my liver was now about as efficient as a colander.

One Saturday I arrived a few hours early in the dead of winter for some pre-show dinner and drinks. I used to eat, read and drink on my own in the back booth by the pool table with occasional interruptions from the staff. It was my happy place. It was always the same questions “Do we need someone to pick up beer for your party afterwards? Is there a party afterwards? I have hash. Do you have vodka?”
Suddenly, that night, Zoran decided to pull up a seat and have a beer and talk about life. I learned a lot about him and his family that night. The heir to a Yogurt fortune from a wealthy European family.
“Jay my friend. How’s the beer and food? Zoran’s treating you right – right? You’re happy here?”
“Oh yeah man. It’s been great. What’s up?”
I knew something was up because Zoran was always much too busy to actually sit and break the bread during a Saturday dinner rush. “Jay, tonight’s a special night as my parents are visiting. They have friends and relatives coming in from the old country. We’re going to reserve these tables in the back and have a traditional meal prepared for them. It’s my mother’s birthday! I know it’s going to get busy in here in a few hours and those crazy fans of yours…well you know what I mean…the Newfies will get a little crazy. They’re going to want you to drink on stage and play those funny songs. Now you know I like that normally? Right? You know I like what you do, but just for tonight I need you to calm down. Just take it easy. You can still have some drinks but don’t play those songs. Especially that one about “It’s forty below and I don’t giva fuck! OK? Just wanted you to know!”
“You got it Zoran. I’ve got you covered.”
Famous last words….
(to be continued)…

A few days ago I wrote a letter to my friends, fans and family across Canada with the hopes of cheering a few folks up, appeasing my conscience and basically offering some holiday goodwill. I even mentioned three times throughout the diatribe that I was very sorry for anyone I’d left out as it would be impossible to remember everyone (obviously) and that it was all written quickly over a few pints of Guinness. So, as good fortune would have it, many of you wrote to me personal emails wishing me the best of the season! That’s the spirit! Thank you. And as human nature would dictate, a few of you decided that no good deed would go unpunished and you’d rain on my Christmas tree with choice comments of “Thanks for the mention pal!” or “Are you for real?”
But hey…I expected that.
Rock n’ Roll’s a dangerous game kids.
You gotta have skin like leather if you want to survive in this business
(enter you’re own cliche here:)

Which brings me to this last email from: justin201@—–“
“Hey Jay, thanks for the vid and the letter. I remember we used to go to a bar called Cheers in North Toronto at Yonge and Eglinton. I think the guy that played every weekend was you? I really do! You mentioned McLean and McLean in your email and I remember a guy on the guitar singing the Rodeo song. Was that you or am I making this up?”

Wow! The internet. Full circle. “Justin, you’re not dreaming buddy. it WAS me.”

It was the mid-nineties and I was indeed playing McLean and Mclean’s Rodeo song (written by Gaye Delorme of Cheech and Chong fame – and one of Canada’s finest guitar players) – at bar called Cheers at Yonge and Eglinton in Toronto. The crazy part is, I think Justin is referring to the night I sang that song and all hell broke loose. I’ll get to that later. Let’s start at the beginning.

I’d just graduated from Carleton bluffing my way through a BA (and I truly mean bluffing!) How I managed to fumble my way through that WAS and still IS a mystery. I loved a few things about it though. I could write essays. I loved writing essays. I was good at it. I love reading the assigned texts. From the Romantics to Canadian lit, American lit , Shakespeare, Absurdist Theatre and Modern Poetry et al. It was really great. The only problem is, I have a memory like a sieve for most things and by the time it was all done, I was qualified for teaching, songwriting or Jeopardy. I wasn’t accepted into teachers college as my marks were too low and my experience was zilch. I obviously hadn’t made strides to move into that direction. Jeopardy? I’d already made my mind up I was a Wheel of Fortune kind of guy. Songwriting? Well….that sounds interesting.

I moved to Toronto with my flashy new B.A. and a $27,000 student loan debt ready to tackle the world. My sister knew a family friend who was the sales manager of a spring water company. They offered me a job in sales. As the sales manager said, “We stick a mirror under your nose and if it fogs up…you’re hired!” I was hired to sell water cooler units and bottles of water – door to door to businesses around the GTA. Most reps lasted a week. I last two years. Hunger and debt does strange things to a psyche.

After I was hired, the manager said “Well, what are you driving?” I said “ I just got my license last week and I don’t have a car!” “Well, you’d better get on that. You’re going to need to load up water coolers and bottles everyday so you should likely go for a small van!”

The next morning I perused the back of the Toronto Star and found an ad for a station wagon in Markham, ON. The woman who answered the phone assured me the station wagon was ‘top notch’ as it was her husband’s corporate ride for many years. Recently retired they only need two cars, not three! (Must be nice)
As I took the bus over to the address, I noticed the houses getting larger and larger. Two car garages, wide streets, yet postage stamp backyards where the houses all looked somewhat the same. Just add water subdivisions – I once heard some refer to them as. I knocked on the door and the nice woman invited me into her completely white kitchen, with white walls, white furniture and a small white poodle. She showed me her backyard pool and bemoaned the fact that they could only use it three months out of the year.
“Why’s that?” I asked.
“We live in Florida for six months and travel the rest of the time.”
A part me cringed for every living soul struggling in the ghetto. (Then again, something tells me those struggling souls were having more fun – in an unknowing kind of way).

As we kept talking I really connected with this woman. I could tell she loved my story about coming from Northern Ontario, and how I’d recently moved to Toronto trying to get into sales.
“My husband was in sales his entire life. He did very well. Insurance. Have you ever thought about insurance?”
I’d only ever heard from others that insurance, although lucrative, would be one of those things that would leave you friendless after about five years. You find yourself showing up to the mens rec hockey league and guys are leap-frogging for the exits “Oh shit, here comes Aymar…gonna hit me up for some life insurance again!” And that’s no disrespect to life insurance sales reps! In fact, my father bought some for me when I as a baby (to help out a friend) and lo and behoild…I’m now worth more DEAD than alive!

So when she found out I was a Carleton U alumni with a B.A. she really opened up. “My god, that’s where my daughter went and she’s likely close to your age.”
When she told me her name, I was relieved to not know her. Who knows how we may have met in that blur of a party they call higher education? (If you know what I’m saying).
She called her husband and immediately asked if he could offer a better deal on the vehicle.
We eventually made it out to the garage and there it was.
A 1985 Buick Estate Station Wagon – fully loaded – complete with faux wood grain paneling ala Plains,Trains and Automobiles / Uncle Buck. In fact my nieces and nephews (who were quite young then) dubbed me Uncle Buck or UB for short – because of this ride. It was purely ridiculous. A tank. People got out of the way when I barreled down the highway.
Anyway, her husband agreed to a better deal and the next day I showed up with a cheque for $1500 and drove away in my new ride. Nothing says “Single styling salesman in his mid-twenties, like a wood grain paneled station wagon!”

For the next two years it was so grossly mishandled and weighed down with water coolers and bottles, the shocks gave way….the rust set in…and eventually it was spewing out blue exhaust enough to make David Suzuki put me on the fucking green party hit list.

It was during these years that I was sharing a house at near Yonge and Eglinton with some university buddies who’d also come to Toronto. (Albeit business grads where were much more interested in starting real careers at Bay and King).

I was playing my guitar regularly by then and had written a bunch of self-indulgent songs about hitch-hiking, kings and queens and fish in the ocean. They were all shit. A few of them found their way into a CBC contest and they made a little demo of my stuff. I was even playing a few folk festivals on weekends and opening for established artists like Fred Eaglesmith and Willie P. Bennett. I didn’t take it seriously at all.

Why would I? I had a great job selling water door to door. A pimped out station wagon and a Hondo Flying V electric guitar, fender amp, and a Samick acoustic for late night hangs. All I really wanted was a place to drink for free on weekends. I had a master plan. What happened next is something you really won’t believe (unless you happened to be there!)
…to be continued

I suggest you watch this video first. It’s my postcard to Canada and ALL OF YOU! THANK YOU!
I sincerely wish you all a HAPPY HOLIDAYS. For the million people I simply didn’t mention in this letter – please forgive me – it was all stream of conscious writing and I couldn’t deal with revising it over and over. It would never end. You’re in there – even if you’re not in there.
Watch it then come back read on…

“The Beaufort Sea (French: mer de Beaufort) is a marginal sea of the Arctic Ocean, located north of the Northwest Territories, the Yukon, and Alaska, west of Canada’s Arctic islands. The sea is named after hydrographer Sir Francis Beaufort. The major Mackenzie River empties into the Canadian part of the sea, west of Tuktoyaktuk, which is one of the few permanent settlements on the sea shores.
The sea, characterized by severe climate, is frozen over most of the year. Historically, only a narrow pass up to 100 km (62 mi) opened in August–September near its shores, but recently due to climate change in the Arctic the ice-free area in late summer has greatly enlarged.” Wikipedia

So what do the Beaufort Sea and this kid – Sebastian have to do with anything? Well, on my tour last year a lot of people tracked me down to perform house concerts and quite often, I’d oblige once we figure out our route and schedules etc… “Set it up like a theatre, tell everyone it’s a concert – not a party – try to get 60 people at $20 each and we’ll do it during the week!” (Kind of response). They represented about 20% of my touring shows last year (during weekdays) and they’re all artistically rewarding. A big part of the scene was that there were always kids at the concerts. Whether it be the hosts children or just people who wanted to expose their kids to this antiquated art form known as ‘trad music?” lol
So I decided I’d better have some Dollarama gifts in my trunk for the kids I was meeting and singing “Apple Pickin” to.

There I was, in Beausejour Manitoba, fresh off touring with Burton Cummings old pal, Donnie Zueff. Donnie, god bless him is a saint. Not only a premiere fiddle player but a guy that’ll pick you up the train station (after waiting four hours) then drive you to his home where his wife has prepared an amazing home cooked meal. That’s Donne. He lives in Beausejour (about 40 minutes north of Manitoba) with his family. I had a free day to wander the streets of this small town and hit their local Dollar Tree. (Which is misleading because most of the imported plastic junk was $1.25 or more). It took no more than two minutes for me to get that plastic resin headache that’s become all too familiar when shopping at these junk stores. “Excuse me miss, do you sell gas masks for a buck? No? Oh ok…I’ll try the lemon fresh spray in aisle 143!” As I wandered lonely as a cloud – through the card section I came across the toy isle. That’s when I saw it. A small cartoon-like puzzle of Canada with pictures of Cowgirls and Mounties and Whales. I knew within a split second that this would be the only gift I’d give to kids across Canada. The one that would have them looking at the places I’ve been to. Sharing with them the amazing greatness that is our country. It really IS that great – and yes – I’ve been around this globe.
So I loaded up on the same puzzle. I think they only had about twenty in stock but that would be perfect.
I came back to Donnie’s place and showed him my amazing score while we rehearsed my song Tune Out, Turn Off, Drop By on banjo.
Just before I crashed out that night I had a eureka moment. I’d make a game out of the puzzle for all the kids in Canada to play. I’d number the back of every single puzzle piece in order. Every kid got a puzzle with numbers on the back. I would take two puzzles and write the identical number on the backs of the same piece – while the others were random. I would not know who had the corresponding puzzle. As the tour wound down, I informed the parents that I was going to draw my puzzle piece. I pulled out from my hat, The Beaufort Sea – #19. The kid in the pic – Sebastion (they call him Seba) WON. What did he win? Well, I guess he’s been made the distinct guest of honour of this major annual Christmas card. (oh and he already has a Dollar Tree puzzle of Canada from Beausejour Manitoba. Not a bad haul Seba!

You see, that’s the kind of life it turns into when you’re playing this much. A million and one stories all crammed into a week. Too many fall by the wayside (into the potholes on memory lane – as Randy Newman so eloquently puts it). Seba’s parents have been hosting my dog and pony show in their home for four years now. Every single year it’s an honour, a laugh, a swim, a feast – all of that. And to think I met Seba’s mother in another lifetime while at Carleton University. She was a gem then and is only getting more polished and precious over the years. Her husband Steve just happens to be a volleyball coach for the Kelowna Heat (and a national champ!). He’s likely one of the best volleyball coaches in the country! Imagine that…a coaster makes good. Anyway, Sebastian buddy, I hope you have a great Christmas, and I just wanted to take this time to thank everyone across the country with this little video tribute to Canada.

We recorded my song Overtime in my brother-in-laws amazing basement bar (how Canadian is the basement bar?) and this goes out to everyone who’s helped keep that Voyageur trail tended. The organizers of the shows, the roots radio folks, the musicians, the AD’s, the reviewers, the volunteers, the cooks, sound crew, the friends we made. By the time I’d hit Calgary, I’d had reunited with my Toronto-based fiddle player Sahra Featherstone. She flew out to tour with me for three weeks and was then going to meet her boyfriend Dale Sood (amazing videographer Arts and Rec) to rock clime Big Chief in Squamish, BC, She would play the harp and violin with me for the rest of the tour which brought us all the way to Cortes Island. And when I thought I couldn’t possibly laugh any harder than I had with Zueff, Sahra came along and had my stomach muscles in need of therapy after the first 48 hours. Another story for another day. The day we left Cortes I started this song based on a couple we’d met who just moved there to reinvent themselves:
“Oh my love, all we need
is a little bit of dirt and a single seed
Natural light, H2O we’ll plant our love and watch it grow – oh –oh……..
There’s evidence of life here”
but again…I digress.

So to compliment this video here is my long (stamp saving) Christmas card to all of you amazing souls out there who’ve supported my live music over these past years and I want you to know that there’s never possibly enough gratitude in the world to show you for this. Let’s just say, you keep the tending the trail, and we’ll keep walking it – portaging it with our canoe full of songs.

So in no particular order:
Mom and Dad in the Soo. 88 and 93. Still going strong. I’ll be home for Boxing Day. The first year I’ve ever missed Christmas Day. The countdown begins. I love you more than life itself.

My brother Bob, Nicolene, Steve and Sarah (Liv), Matt, Phil, I want you to know I found Chuck Norris’s MIA 3 and we’ll be having a marathon in 2015. Count on it. Thank you for the critical insights on my work Bob. That’s all a brother could ever ask for. Honesty. You’re the best in the business.
Jeanne and Tom, Steph, Kato, Ali , Mary and Tom, Beck , Kel and Jack (charity starts at home and wow aint’ that the truth – my home away from home off the road and so close there’s nothing I can really say here), My brother Dave (only Dave and I know this – but we are the unheralded Canadian comic duo. No one can make the other person laugh harder! Period. McLean and Mclean? Maybe! Close. Bowser and Blue? Lightweight. Cheech and Chong? Beyond our reach. The Smothers Brothers? Mom always liked you best man.) Tom and Sharon, Jamie, Brendan, Mark and John (strength and wisdom and pure kindness and a lot of fried chicken – that is the answer. And Tom, you’re Colonel Parker and Saunders rolled into one. The best motivator, critic and coach a songwriter could have. I wish every songwriter had you in their corner man!) , Bill Aymar (work hard, party hard, a great Toronto host to out of towners, a great friend and best chef I know – your herbs are mind blowing), Phil Aymar (we’re one in the same – except you’re just better– my conscience, my confidant and proof that being humble is a virtue), all of my cousins (Theriaultville) who are the biggest best family I know. To Tom and Mary-Lou the wedding of Mary-Anne and the Professor and my first myspace friend. To my cousin Jeff – for the brightness you brought to the world. To Lynne and Kip for the spare room and Jeff and Hannah for the late night hangs…to Lorrie and Joe and Matt and Steve for the concerts and laughs. To Mike – thanks for cleaning my teeth after losing my dentist…Oh shit… to Leo’s Auto on Doncaster in Thorhill (Leo is the best, most honest mechanic in the universe – he doesn’t’ need your business but go there anyway!) To Dr. Sam Leitenberg you are going to be missed! You were more than a doctor. You were a friend. (Anyone know of a good doctor in the GTA out there?) I can’t begin to go down this rabbit hole – we’d be here until New Year’s Eve. lol

To my original buddies and all of the crew of Monterey Gardens. The long lasting friendship that’s about a tight and good as any guys have ever had it. It’s unbreakable. To Mel, Andy, Ters, Humphry, Greengras, Burnsy, Deli 1 and 2, Saints..the memory of our buddy Bo and the Bolan family….oh hell the list goes on and on. See you in a few weeks.
Here’s a few of us “Catching Rainbows in the Falls” before the Batchewana sauna.

My musical acquaintances in Toronto over the years. Those I’ve played with and toured with and as a friend once said “They’re all the most creative, honest and talented people you’ll ever meet.” That’s true!
Some know this story – some don’t. I was contacted by Ian Tyson six years ago. He wanted to record my song. Great honour indeed. I was selling wine and grossly unhappy. I was a ‘lazy bastard living in a suit” to quote Cohen. I left the girl. The apartment. My belongings.
The first call I received after meeting Tyson was from SOCAN. “Jay, Richard Flohil wants to know if he can contact you?” “Who’s that?” I said.
“You’re in the Toronto music scene and you don’t know who Richard Flohil is?”
“Well I said, I’m not IN the Toronto music scene. I’ve been out of music for fifteen years. I’m quitting real life and getting back into the music scene!”
“Well, can we give Richard your number and have him call you?”
“Of course” I responded with great anticipation.
—
One day later a superb British accent snuck through my phone “Hello, is this Jay Aymar?”
“Yes…this must be Richard!”
“Yes mate. Listen, I’ve just heard a song you’ve written about Don Cherry covered by Ian Tyson. I’m just wondering – WHO ARE YOU?”
Flash forward six years later and FLO (as we all referred to him) has graciously introduced me to many of the great souls inhabiting this list. There’s not enough hours in a day to cover his story, but if you’re at all interested, just head out to any roots music haunt on any given night in TO and look for the guy with a bevy of beauties flanking him. He’ll be wearing a long white scarf and sometimes closing his eyes to get a cat-nap mid rock n roll show. Don’t take offense. It’s just how he rolls.

So who are you? Well, you range from all of the musicians who’ve played in my CD’s over the years to the engineers and creative designers. Like my first and most loyal engineer Chris Hess. He worked for so many years without asking for a dime. I don’t even know how one could start to thank someone for that. He’s the biggest Kris Kringle of them all folks.
David Baxter for consistently offering up warm, rootsy gems for this world to hear. (He’s a helluva writer and performer in his own right – and you should RUN to the Cameron House in Toronto if you ever have the chance to catch him.) He plays often with another songwriter named Corin Raymond who is also a cool talent on the scene. Oh and the Cameron House gang of constants – like Peter Barnard. Thanks for always promoting my blogs. Thanks to Heather Hase, Dave Reigate and his dad and the Antonacci’s for coming to so many shows this year too.
There’s no way to thank the insanely talented girls on the scene that I’ve been privileged to meet. The easiest way to is have you look up the collective known as the Ladies in Waiting and you’ll see them all right there (Oh and if you live in Toronto or know of anyone in Toronto they should go to their Christmas show Thursday Dec. 18th at the Hugh’s Room.
Google these names and check them out. All of this outstanding creative energy will be in one room. Andrea Ramolo, Faye Blaise (sounds so nice you want to say it twice), Melanie Brulee, Sarah Burton, Cindy Doire (all the way in from the Maple Leaf Tavern!), Sahra Featherstone (my trusty sidekick from this year’s tour and an inspiring human being!), Kristin Sweetland (check out her photography), Tricia Foster (check out her pipes) , Anique Granger, Treasa Levasseur (find her song “Let Me Sleep on It”), Samantha Martin & Delta Sugar (opening for the Blind Boys of Alabama at Massey – yes that’s happening) , Sophia Perlman, PerlHaze, Karyn Ellis (amazingly, off-beat funky folk songs and one who’s gonna help me organize the annual Roots Music Bowlerama for charity) and Marina Marina. Oh and Jen Squires (photographer) for these pics and my last album cover. You’re incredible. And Chung Wong – for being the biggest music fan this scene has ever met (minus Flohil).
While we’re speaking of female artists this year: To Roxanne Potvin for being a brave, beautiful artist (and gracing my Hugh’s Room show with her presence and amazing band!) Alejandra Ribera for knocking me out with La Boca (wow), Shakura S’Aida for bidding on my sorry ass at a charity auction a few years ago and to our pending coffee date at Targette (and for your earth shattering performances), to Jadea Kelly for answering the call to lend your vocals to my old timey duets and for creating Clover. To Allen Wells who’s brilliantly executed your vision. To Laura, Bonita, Patricia, Joe and Paula, Dave and Kerry for keeping the eastern Ontario fires burning, to John and Lia and Jennifer – may we party soon and have a Cuban feast! And to the great Cullen crew who’ve thrown us some amazing concerts and keeping the London fires burning bright. And of course Frank Loreto for his amazing site “Ears to the Ground” and his great house concert hosting skills!
To David Farrell, Kerry Doole, Bob Mersereau, Eric Thom, Mike Regenstrief (to name a very small few) for writing about it all. And to Gail Comfort, Steve Fruitman, Julie Miller, Jan Vanderhorst, Allison Brock, Tom Power, Jim Marino, Brenda Tacik, Fish Grikowski, Peter North, Gerry Goodfriend (I wish I was born with that handle) Andy Frank, Jeff Robson, Jan Hall, Daryl Sterdan, Jeanna Khan, Marc Campbell, Eden Monro, Roddy Campbell of Penguin Eggs (top notch magazine!), Barry Hammond, Shelagh Rogers, Danny Gaisin, Brian Kelly,Tom Murray, Heath McCoy, Stuart McLean, Jerome Clarke (Rambles Magazine – You want to read in depth reviews – check out Jerome Clarke – he goes deep!) Brian Johnson, Doug Swanson, John Apice of No Depression, Larry Leblanc, Tom Coxworth, and Steve Clark (rest his perfect soul) Oh hell….I’m leaving out a million more. It’s gonna get ugly by the omissions. That’s it. Well save, Twisty, Shelley Marshall, John Scoles and your door crasher specials, to Mitch, Tim, Ava, Selena for keeping Pete’s dream intact, JD Edwards (finally caught a full show in Brandon) and band, Sean Burns, Tim Hus, Dave Gunning, Tamara Kater (introducing me to super writers: Sam Baker, Jordie Lane, and Del Barber) To the Canada Gold suite in Kansas for introducing me to Stephanie Nilles. I want to say that again – thank you for introducing me to Stephanie Nilles. Singularly the very best performance that has resonated with me – maybe ever. To the heirs of her throne, Arianna Gillis, Jenie Thai, David Newberry, and Ann Vriend. To Jodie Peck for being a badass butcher, northern girl and stone cold rock and roll! To Peterbuilt Pete for settling down and having a baby (and loving Hogans Heroes). To Kaia Kater, Craig (just say Currie) Cairns, Emma Jane, Sarah Erickson and your awesome parents for pointing out Steak and Lube (an actual restaurant in bumble-fuck USA) , to Chip Taylor for imparting so much wisdom into my songwriter soul and a big thank you for singing FUCK ALL THE PERFECT PEOPLE to me at ten paces away, Newland and Frank (the comedy team behind RMC), The Folk Music Ontario crew perfect cultivation , to Alex Sinclair and the Borealis crew for so much of the fabric – Fiddlers Green, Grit Laskin, Paul Mills, Bill Garrett, every living soul connected to Stan Rogers, Linda Truro, Derek Andrews, Jennifer Drysdale (amazing artist) Joanne Crabtree, Laura Smith and Tannis Slimmon for bringing such pure beauty into this world, Nicole Colbeck, Jennifer Ellis, Scott Merrifield, The CFMA’s…oh gosh… and Gadke for teaching me about centre earth, Thor, metal and general merriment. To Steve and Sue Tenant for just about everything Folk and goodwill. To their awesome ‘sound-guy’ son! To Aengus Finnan and Dayna Manning (who I met through my part-time fiddler Laura – laugh-a minute-Bates) as people I barely know you given me hope that true love is always just around the corner – amazing really. To Fitzy and Scott for having a baby. To Greg Cockerill and Kurt Nielson for learning my stuff on the fly and nailing the Hugh’s show (go Blue Jays) , to Jane Harbury, Suzie Vinnick, Emily Mitchell, The Mills, The Tivoli and Auerbach Houses, to Taylor Mitchell for remaining my guardian angel (I know this to be true), to the guy who fixed my Camry and the eagle that followed me on the highway, to the deceased deer, to Rocky the native artist who made me the Buffalo tooth after hearing the song Crow. To my buddy Chief and the loss of his old man Simon this year. To all of the folks at the Happy Horsheshoe Campground, The family of Gordie (who passed away too young and taught me about truck driving, being High and Lonesome with Bill Munroe and just how big Bluegrass is in Japan), to the original boys from the Cashing in on Peace CD years – Kevin Quain, Tom Parker, Tony Benattar and your amazing Liberty Boots ( I still remember that one day recording session). The Folks at the Sandy Lake Hotel – Judy and the gang “Al MacDonald had a farm…ei ei o”) To finally hearing Kim Begg’s stuff and realizing how awesome she is. To Meg Lederrer for being a cool camper and booking me every year. To Shawna Caspi for writing great tunes and slaying them in Richard Landing; Sarah Jane Scouten for making me howl two weeks ago; Alanna Martineau for finally making the pilgrimage to TO (good on ya!) to Kev Corbett for always telling me the most interesting stories at every conference then slaying me with his sweet sounds, to Jon Brooks for doing the hard honest work, to Longevity John for inviting us to your festival and kind words and unique form of payment, to Diggin Roots – what a great show!, to Sue and Dwight constantly making me laugh every morning with your street level insights, Paul Corby and your excellent Orbital sounds. To Sheila in Thunder Bay (get well soon), to Hanna Hunzinger at Fables (we’re all missing Chuck and feeling for ya!) To my east coast relatives Marie, Neil, Gus and Rose, Ruth and Harold and all the kids…to James and George Aymar and the Acadian village of Saulnierville (the documentary they’re making of James!) to his son Marcel Aymar (my cousin) of the incredible band CANO – to the south shore and the Twins, and all my friends at the Sea Dog Saloon: Allen and Tim and the kitchen kaleigh crew that mind scarred me and Manitoba Hal who imparted sober wisdom to me one night, and to Dave and Dianne from Burlington who have become friends – not fans – and true believers. Merry Christmas to you too!
Wrycraft and Bronwin Parks for creating amazing designs for everyone, Fancy Pants Lance Lorree and The Alien Rebels, Carolyn Marks and NQ and your gang of misfits, for Jeni and Phil and all of the folks at the Theatre in the park and of South Country Fair – , Scott Cook (the reincarnation of Woody) and on and on and on.

If I read this list and realized I was not on it – I’d feel hurt, then pissed off then likely laugh because there’d be no way the dude could remember everyone! Forgive me – but thank me for trying. Oh and Ian Tyson and his daughter for hosting Sahra and I on his ranch and then mailing me money! I love ya man and NO I don’t ride fucking horses. Only once when I was drunk – and I fell off immediately.
Ina and Piet and Ye Old Jar Bar. Jay and Tracey – two great individual Medicine Hat artists who put me up for four days (you rock) for Clint and crew who continue to support me and teach me things about the Law I just never new, to CKUA, the CBC, PBS, Vinyl Café. Ewen and Jane MacKenxzie and kids (for housing 5000 albums, getting married, introducing me to scotch!) For Stew Crookes and Michael Timmins and Josh Finlayson for dissecting my songs and advising me on production. For Joe Ernewein for finding my songs and wanting to produce them. To my Cameron family residents of this past while – Vivienne Wilder who continues to amaze me with her prodigiousness and Kesley McNulty for your tasteful playing every time I see and hear you, to Justin for stealing my records (lol) and all of the Boxcar Boys, Ozere, Slocan Ramblers….oh man….I’m rambling again. I guess you’re the next generation. I explode with happiness when I hear your talent.
Michael Louderoute for holding that umbrella over my head during the downpour and offering me some shelter from the storm. To Todd Snider, John Prine, Jerry Jeff Walker, Carol King, Dylan, Guthrie, Sachmo, Beethoven , Shel Silverstein, Cash, Kinky Friedman, and Lucille Ball, and anything that Neil Simon ever created. And I’ll even give a Merry Christmas shout out to the not one Artistic Director of any folk festival who’s never come out to see any of my shows after being apprised of their whereabouts well in advance – that’s over 700 shows in six years and counting – I’ll even wish YOU a Merry Christmas because that’s the kind of guy I am.
And speaking of “That’s the kind of guy I am” I’ll wish Pat, and Donna and Andy Garreau a happy holidays. And in the memory of Mikey and Wes and all that’s holy and good in this world. And to Donald P. Bertrand where you may roam. To the entire town of Bruno! (Can you start my tomato for me?) And to Jess (a beautiful muse and artist) and Nikky and Frank and new friends and old friends and all that’s to come and everything under the sun isn’t real…but the sun is eclipsed by the Super Moon in Revelstoke.
To Up North Terry and Val and your old pal Tom Wilson who told me your nickname – who also told me Paul Reddick’s nickname (The High Priest – another one of my complete favourites. A full-fledged artist in his prime!) Thank you Terry and Val for the place to crash and write last winter. Thanks to Bob and Cathy Hodgeson for buying a bunch of my merch and bringing huge crews to my shows! Thanks to Shawn McGuire for supporting me with buying t-shirts and mailing an old fashioned letter, thanks to Andrew Charles for shoveling me out of the snow last year and filming so many of my shows without asking for anything, (humbling man), for Nick the Greek and your awesome family, and Nathalie the super cool sales dynamo, and the other Nathalie, the super cool sales dynamo aka Daisy wherever the hell you are; to Nathalie in BC for traveling to Europe and inspiring Rock On (a song that’s requested all the time), for Chloe Charles who is going to win a Polaris Prize someday – for being my friend, an inspiration, using a bit of my song ‘Rock On’ in her song ‘Business’ and opening for Sixto Rodriguez! Are you kidding me? To Donna Callison who’s bar got wiped out in the rising tides two years ago: I hope you live to rebuild your High River dreams.
To Spider for introducing me to a great bar with Lance in Cowtown. To the Dummer in Red Rear. Thanks for hosting us a great party. To Doug and Liz Champagne and friends for one of my favourite concerts of the entire year! You guys amaze me – you’re now family along with Gary and Anne Holmes and the entire set of Vancouver Islands. To Valdy for having me open for you (something I’ll never do again! Talk about a master of the solo set).

Finally to the late great John Lennon who taught me to NEVER EVER IDOLIZE people. He said so in his song GOD. That’s why I idolize him. He also said in that song “I just believe in me…Yoko and me….and that’s reality!” So I thought, hmmm….he at least believes in one other person outside of himself – YOKO! That’s quite a revelation. I’ve steadfastly refused to settle for anything less than my version of YOKO ONO. (For whatever that’s worth). The real deal. So I’ve been close a few times. Recently, I believe I held her but I screwed it up. Sometimes that happens. There’s an entire new batch of songs written and inspired by her though. That’s the cool thing. Guess it’s back to eating Swanson’s TV Turkey Dinners in front of the Charlie Brown Christmas Special again. Can you give me a collective ‘awwwww’…..thank you! It really does help!

What else can I say? You may think this crazy letter to you was a gigantic ass-kiss of tremendous proportions and some of that might just be true. It’s also been a letter I’ve been meaning to write for a few years. It came back to me after watching Neil Young’s Prairie Wind concert and he sings the song ‘One of These Days”. “One of these days, I’m gonna sit down a write a long letter to all the good friends I’ve known!” I thought, yeah….me too. Then I went to buy stamps and cards and thought I’d buy few pints of Guinness and do this instead.
Feliz Navidad! Happy Hannukah! Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays? Happy Festivus!
See you on the trail amigos.

In Memory of Jean Beliveau
For those of you who’ve been my shows you’ll already know about my parents Madeline and John who are still going strong at 88 and 93 up in the Soo. You’ll also know that they had 8 children who are all in some way or another ‘a bunch of hams’ who really like to party and have fun (that goes for our extended Theriault family of course.) So you’d know from my shows that they had me much later in life – mid-to-late 40’s and so I was ‘taught and brought up to – the laws to abide – and that the country I come from had Jean Beliveau on it’s side!’. Yeah that’s right – see the puck my dad is holding in this picture? It almost didn’t survive as the family heirloom it surely is.
One random snowy night in Monterey, we shuffled the sticks and assembled our lines at the outdoor rink across the street at Clergue school. A few slapshots later and our random Canadian Tire puck was tipped over the boards and buried in the snow – LOST.

I raced home and begged dad to borrow the family heirloom puck as “we were in a real pinch!”
“Ok son, but you know the story of this puck! I was with your mother at the Forum in 1953 on our honeymoon and I caught that puck after it was tipped off of Jean Beliveau’s stick! Don’t lose it – whatever you do!”
“You got it dad!”
Upon returning to the rink a few new neighbourhood kids had shown up to play. Well…truth be told they were the neighbourhood bad-asses. A few of them fresh out of juvy and likely already selling weed to their grade seven cohorts.
It took a nano-second for one of them to realize it was an official Montreal Canadians puck. He bent down – picked it up and said “Hey guys…this is real NHL puck. Thanks for the gift man!”
“Hey give that back! That’s my dads puck!” I said, shaking in my Bauer Supremes.
“What’re you gonna do about it kid!”
Normally I would have hung around a bit longer to attempt rink-rat diplomacy ultimately leading to getting the shit kicked out of my skinny ass – but I decided to race home immediately as desperate times called for extremely desperate measures. “Hey dad, these crazy bully guys saw your puck and took it! They won’t give it back! Dad? Dad!”
Road-runner cloud!! Poof!! He appeared at the rink in front of the thieving bullies.
“You guys don’t want to know the story behind the puck in your pocket and why you’re gonna give it back to me right now!”
“Uh…yes sir. Sorry sir. We were just joking around.”
BAM. They left the rink in great shame and we finished the game with the standard frozen orange plastic ball. A real downgrade if there ever was one. Some poor bastard always took one in the crown jewels and we inevitably had to scrape him off the ice and into the rink shack to curl up for twenty minutes.
So god bless Jean Beliveau! The guy they said was the best ambassador our national sport ever saw (not it’s not Lacrosse).
As fate would have it, I wound up a long suffering Leaf fan. And ironically, the Aymar name was traced back to being French Huguenots in France – kicked out – made their way to NYC in the late 1700’s, came up to southern Nova Scotia and became Catholics…kicked out…some went to New Orleans…some stayed…some moved to Sault Ste. Marie and married, had eight kids and forever coveted the puck caught off the stick of Jean Beliveau. Why? Easy. It had to have been the very best week of his life. Celebrating his honeymoon in Montreal. His time served overseas must have seemed like a long gone memory….
RIP Mr Beliveau. Or as you would have said “Just call me Jean!”

I wrote this song for my father – John Aymar who served the entirety of WW2. We spoke this afternoon and he told me a few things about those years overseas.
He did his basic training in Halifax and then applied to be in the air force. They put him through the educational tests, the balance and eye sight test then into a cockpit and passed him. The day he was accepted into the air force he was told it was too late – they’d called him into action and he went as infantry. In retrospect he said “I was lucky! The pilots didn’t have a long life expectancy.”
During the latter part of the war they sent a letter home to his mother saying he’d been killed in action. This ‘clerical error’ was not resolved for two weeks, leaving his mother heart-broken, then obviously elated to hear he was alive.
Upon coming back to Nova Scotia he attended University for a year but soon felt it was time to head for Toronto. Along with his cousin, they drove to Toronto and worked odd jobs here for a while, eventually landing a position in sales with Imperial Tobacco (back when smoking was cool). They soon transferred him up to “this English city with a French sounding name!” Sault Ste. Marie, ON.

Before too long he met my mother fresh out of nursing college (Madeline Theriault – who BTW has just turned 89 ) and they soon married.
Eight kids later (I was the bonus baby #8 – THANK YOU POPE PAUL VI) and I’m happy to report they’re still going strong.

Here’s a song I wrote for my dad and for all of the veterans. The most memorable time performing this was a few years ago in front of approximately one hundred and fifty vets at a Legion Hall in Kingston ON. They gave it a standing O and I certainly shed a tear afterwards. I stayed for the stories and few beers and never forgot that day with those men. The power of stories – the power of songs!

A musical acquaintance of nearly twenty years ago friend requested me today. It was the strangest thing as for some reason, only a few days ago I was reminiscing about a studio session he’d helped me with. I’m glad he’s survived the battle – that raging battle to live clean. He was (and thankfully still is) a brilliant harmonica player and I’m glad to know he’s still traversing the planet making music somewhere. So here’s one from the 1996 release “Howling at the Moon” written in Ottawa / recorded in Toronto.
A long forgotten CD that I recorded with my long time engineer/producer friend, sax player extraordinaire Chris Hess.
We recorded fifteen songs on this CD on a digital 8 track mixer in his apartment above a pizzeria at Yonge and Steeles in Toronto. He was a full time Long and McQuade employee then and they allowed us to set up shop in the retail outlet at night to utilize a vast array of instruments to record whatever-whenever-however we wanted. We were just rookies.
I was going through my Astral Weeks phase and Chris was exploring world music sounds well beyond my comprehension.
In fact, shortly after recording this record he would find himself as a founding member of Punjabi by Nature – soon to be playing festivals of 60,000 people grooving along to the blend of Ska, hip hop and Punjabi music. Bruce Cockburn famously sat in the wings watching the show, only to tell Chris that his band “F’n rocked!”
It was only a short period of time before this, we were meddling around with sounds and exploring ways to put my lyrics to folk music. It always amazes me how things go.
Chris and myself went on to produce four more albums together and I don’t think we’re done yet.

Over the years, I toured with several bands and played many folk festivals and opened for quite a few notable artists. I never quite got the memo about taking it all too seriously. If I only knew then what I know now. These days, I feel much more artistically alive and stronger yet my cache for festival appearances seems all too diminished. I guess that’s the way it goes. I was once the youngen given a break too.

PROSTITUES AND POLITICIANS is the song most requested and played from the album Howling at the Moon. An album which I’ve pressed to the tune of 5000 units. I was reluctant to start posting these songs for some reason. I guess I wanted them to fade into the distance…but this old harmonica blowing buddy reminded me of a time when I was creating – uninhibited – exploring – leaving in the rough spots and often overproducing. So I thought “What the hell?”

The song was inspired by some stellar street scenes from my Byward Market apartment window in the nations capital. To the southern skyline were the green tinged peaks of the Parliament buildings, while directly below me, ladies of the night worked their magic, soliciting the suit brigade of government workers stumbling home from a night of lonely revelry.
Yeah, it all played out like that.

I remember starting this song in the apartment then walking down to one of the many seedy bars below me for a libation. I eventually made it home (safely alone) with the words scribbled onto my pocket notepad. (Pocket notepads? Those were the days.)
I haven’t heard this song in literally fifteen years. I can’t tell if it’s too long gone, overdrawn, right-on or still lost in the 90’s. Ain’t it funny how time slips away…

“Prostitutes and politicians
I guess I’m somewhere in between
Dollar bills and places offering cheap thrills
And countless pictures of Jimmy Dean
Countless pictures of James Dean”

I stared out my window last night to see the super moon. There it was, climbing above Big Chief – the mountain face looming over us in this quiet little neighbourhood in Squamish BC.
The air is very still here. There are no bugs. There is great party happening two houses down.
I can hear Amy Winehouse blaring out of the speakers and young revelers laughing and dancing.
The last time I witnessed a super moon I was in Golden BC around a campfire at 1am two years ago.
Our little patio holds a small Mac with external speakers playing the same song over and over again. It’s a song with Caribbean flavour I’ve never heard before. I’ve counted sixteen repeat plays and have not mentioned anything as I’ve been dissecting the rhythm and structure of the song. Twenty people surround me – mostly rock climbers – discussing the routes on Big Chief in the distance.
Someone points out the super moon and then we notice a few flickers of light from the side of the mountain face.
“Those are some dedicated climbers up there. They’ll sleep on the mountain tonight!”
“That’s unbelievable” I respond. “That’s dedication!”

I realize that this endeavour is unlike many others in this world. Scaling a mountain. Dangling by by a rope. My vertigo would not allow for this. My fear of heights would cripple me.

All conversation moves toward The Legend: Fred Beckey (google him please) . The 93 year old they met on the mountain earlier in the day.
“He has more routes named after him then anyone in the world. He was the first up most of the routes.”
They passed around the iphone and showed us a picture of the legend. Ninety-three and still willing himself up Big Chief. It’s ludicrous and beautiful.

Sahra Featherstone (violin and harp) has been accompanying me on this tour and has recently taken up this noble pursuit under the tutelage of her boyfriend Dale Sood who is an advanced climber. We were offered the opportunity to hang in Squamish for a few days and I thought it would be a great break from this relentless tour. I worry about her fingers but she assures me it’s therapeutic and safe.

This is the perfect day. It’s sunny and comfortable. I feel songs coming on. I just received a nice email from Ian Tyson. Sometimes life feels like a super moon.

I’m thinking about so many things today. My publicist is backing away from the workaday grind of his duties. Mom and dad are at home waiting for the family to arrive en masse for the big reunion.
I need to finish this book. Five songs are totally complete and seven more are showing signs of life. My calendar after October looks empty. That scares me. I’ve been contacted by someone in the UK about a min-tour and that encourages me.
I have four distinct producers to choose from for this project. I still can’t decide which one to choose. Both Sahra and Tamara are convinced I should seek out Chris Bartos. I love it when people feel strongly about things.

So now we have to pack up and hit the trail. Vancouver tonight. The islands this week. Homeward bound next week. Well…it will take two more weeks to arrive safely home. Just fifteen more gigs to go and I’ll be home again. Still overtime. Not out of tune. You gave me a sign….
I’m over the super moon.

We still have a few dates open (not many) but if you or a friend would like to host a house concert we might be into it. It requires gathering about 50 of your friends and folk music enthusiasts, have them throw $20 in the hat (or pwyc) etc…and we come in and give you concert right in your home. It’s generally great for us and I must admit – I beginning to like them a lot.

Hope your summer is amazing. Our has started with great concert attendances a lot of singing and merriment. (I’ll blog about it all soon when I have some proper time).

We discussed his engineering days, his lifelong commitment to music as an accomplished ‘Travis Style’ guitar picker, producer, engineer and overall champion of the Canadian folk music scene. Beneath his humble nature and soft-spoken demenour lies a fierce passion for his craft and personal relationships.

Unfortunately, we were out of time before I was able to discuss his latest project with Joanne Crabtree entitled Crabtree and Mills.
You can often find them playing live around Ontario and I strongly suggest you check them out.

Paul shows no sign of slowing down and I’m sure we can expect many more years of creative output from his soon to be home studio in London, ON.

As for my fledgling podcasting career, I have to stop saying “RIGHT” “UH HUH” “WOW” “THAT’S INTERESTING” after every interesting line. There’s got to be a better way!

Welcome to the second installment of “YOU TELL ME”. I assured you some interesting stories and this one really delivers.
My friend and publicist Richard Flohil graciously agreed to discuss his life in the Canadian music industry. We sat down for a few hours in his Toronto home and discussed everything from early trad jazz to the power of folk festivals to the current state of the music industry.
If you’re interested in any of the following topics you should really free up some time and give this a listen.
Topics covered include:
Muddy Waters, Chicago, Howlin Wolf, English boarding schools, Peter Sellers, The International Concatenated Order of Hoo-Hoo (yeah…that’s right!), Buddy Guy, BB King, Bobby ‘Blue’ Bland (and how to quit smoking), Sleepy John Estes, Bobo Jenkins, Jimmy Reed, Phil Ochs (Changes), Guy Clark (Driskill Hotel), John Prine (The Missing Years), Leon Redbone (card shark), Townes Van Zandt (miserable), Murray Mclauchlan, Gordon Lightfoot, Leonard Cohen, Solomon Burke (The King of Rock and Soul), Amos Garrett, Mitch Podolak, Koko Taylor, The Rolling Stones, Downchild Blues Band, Dan Aykroyd, The Blues Brothers, KD Lang, Loreena Mckennitt, The Matador…
and a few stories left on the cutting room floor. Why leave those stories out? Well, there’s a forthcoming book and I wouldn’t want to be accused of spoiling you! You’ll just have to wait for it’s arrival. (For some of you that will mean buying it directly from my merch table in a year or so).
The tentative title:
“Louis Armstrong’s Laxative and A Hundred Other (Mostly) True Stories from a Life in the Music Business.”What can I say about a guy who’s still rocking after all these years. When I asked him what he thought about this years Juno Awards show he replied “I was at the Dakota watching a band. I missed them!”
I should have known.
Rock On Flo.

Hello friends,
last year I had a wave of inspiration as I did the twelve hour drive eastbound along the north shore of Lake Superior, likely humming Homeward Bound. I realized that we were in danger of losing so many stories I’d heard on my recent tour. Your stories. You: the artist, musician, venue owner, author, bricklayer, lawyer, athlete, singer…whatever! So, I decided I would someday get you to tell your stories to me and put them up as a podcast.
A group of musical colleagues have agreed to share their stories to help me get started. Who knows where this will go? Who cares. I find it interesting. I’m hoping you will too.

For the first podcast, Andy Frank of Roots Music Canada suggested he interview me to let some of you know who I am and why I’m doing this.
I grappled with whether this would all sound too pretentious…too self-absorbed. I’m still grappling with it. Regardless, I’ve jumped in and with Andy’s help, we’ve put together the first one hour episode

I was in the middle of my great Walden Pond experiment when I looked out the cabin window and saw a rabbit bouncing around in the snow. I could see my reflection in the frost covered window while the pot belly stove crackled away in the background. My mind wandered into the great unknown areas as it often does. I started thinking about building rabbit snares, making rabbit stew, using a rabbit foot for a key chain and the fur to fashion mittens. These things, of course, I cannot do as I have no knowledge of living this way. My Jeremiah Johnson experiment was only a week in and I was already jonesing for some concrete jungle activity. Wine, women, song, neon, noise, art, exhaust, frenzied energy….
My mind burrowed further down the rabbit hole as I watched it hop around on the hard packed snow.
The rabbit. Bugs Bunny so informed my comic timing. My friend drove a Rabbit automobile – the exact same car where I’d first heard Black Oak Arkansas – a group I’m sure would have a history of snaring and preparing rabbits. Then I began thinking about the group of us kids hanging around the incinerator in Poplar Park where we found our first weather beaten Playboy Magazine lying amidst the ashes. The front cover proudly displaying the insignia of a rabbit’s ears and naked women dressed up as bunnies. As we huddled around the magazine, just eight year old boys, everyone leafed through those pictures as though they’d discovered PLUTONIUM. I felt I’d better not look for some deep seeded fear of going blind. Yep. That’s the Catholic church for you. I decided it would be too impure and that it could mean eternal damnation for a glimpse a Betty’s perfectly shaped Oklahoma breasts. Someone blurted out…”You’re a virgin!” Of course, no one knew what that meant but it seemed to sting. For that entire summer I believed a virgin was someone who wouldn’t look at dirty magazines.
By the end of the summer I walked back over to the incinerator where the magazine was perfectly restored and hidden, and leafed through it on my own. I was amazed to find that after three minutes, my vision was perfectly intact and the incinerator did not mysteriously fire up and engulf me in satanic flames. No, I was simply enjoying meeting Betty in all of her perfect beauty. It seems that my southern hemisphere was too! From that day on, the significance of the rabbit has been deep seeded.

So, while watching this furry creature take my imagination on a two minute diversion from reality, I suddenly found myself talking aloud. “Rabbits are sexy!” I said.
The scary part about being in seclusion is when you NOTICE yourself talking out loud. It’s ‘one flew over’ type of stuff.
“Geez Aymar, you just said RABBITS are SEXY out loud to your own image in the frost covered window. It might be time to get out of here.” And so I did. I was moderately happy with my creative output but to be honest, I wouldn’t make a habit of running off to seclusion again. Maybe a nice small apartment above a shop in Chinatown will do the trick. We’ll see.

I arrived back in Toronto to prepare for a trip to Kansas City. Every year we have the International Folk Alliance Conference in which folkies, industry, legends, upstarts, etc…meet and play for each other, find work, give a group hug etc… So it’s shine up your Birkenstocks and pack up the granola we’re heading to the conference to hug a few trees. Well not really. In fact, for group of forward thinking environmentalists I was shocked to see how many trees we all used to paper the walls of the hotel to aggrandize our ego’s. (Al Gore was on hand to offer up more inconvenient truths about our savagery to this big blue marble – using a large screen and images culled from the internet which he…er….helped usher in). So, fresh out of isolation mode of the woods, I went directly into a van with my friends and hit the trail for the two day drive to Kansas City. We didn’t sing Kansas City here we come. We didn’t make any OZ references. We certainly didn’t play any TOTO. We did however laugh ourselves silly.

The cast of this travelling caravan included my publicist and friend Richard Flohil. His assistant Melanie (friend and artist), Sarah (new friend – assistant) and Craig (new friend – crazy Scotsman going down to see his banjo playing girlfriend). As road trips go this assortment of sensibilities created the perfect match of wit, cynicism, intelligence, self-deprecation, eating habits, laid back demeanours etc…

The satellite radio station gave us an nice assortment of playlists as did the random iPhone selections. As we rolled into our first border crossing, we did the quick change, whereby I let Melanie bat her eyelashes at the border patrol and explain that we were simply ‘folkies’ going to a conference in Kansas City. Even the charms of Aphrodite couldn’t melt this guys starred and striped coal of a soul.
We were brought in, questioned and told to sit in the principal’s office for twenty minutes while the swat team descended on the van to unleash Snots the Drug Sniffing Dog to work on ‘The Case of the Missing Roach’. Of course all they could come up with was a case of CD’s of Appalachian banjo ditties – the Scotsman’s pride and joy. While Richard begged with the stone faced border guard to stamp his newly minted passport (to no avail) we made it back into the van, now covered with muddy dog prints, and drove toward our Red Roof Inn destination in Joliet.

Somehow in the morning as we rolled along toward Kansas City, someone pointed out a restaurant in distance – Steak and Lube!
“Fuck-off! That did not just say that!”
We googled it. It truly existed as a auto body shop prior to becoming a steak house. Only in AMERICA.
” I’ll have the fillet minion, rare, with a side order of mashed potatoes and biscuits with white gravy. Oh and give me a side order of deep fried cheese and a cup of Crisco to wash it down with! And as for the lube..what are we talking about here? KY or an oil change? Is that on a separate menu?” What the fuck!

Finally we rolled into the conference. Picture entering a cruise ship where every passenger looks ats though they are on the Magical Mystery Tour. “Roll up…..roll up to the Mystery Tour!”
The only time I left the compound was to hit the front lobby for some fresh air (and that was usually tarnished by inhaling anything but fresh air. Smokin’ OP’s. Smok’em if you gottem. Don’t Bogart that joint my friend…pass it over to me! – Not me for doobies….paranoia self-destroya!)

Here’s how it went down:
There’s a main lobby where everyone converges. The next level up is where you register. There are gigantic ballrooms which host the large showcases. The chosen ones play in these large showcase rooms to the buyers, other musicians, radio folks, house concerts hosts, mothers, sons and daughters. There are volunteers stations. Wet bars. People with hats, long coats and striped pants holding fiddles, banjos, guitars, bass’s, flutes, noise makers. There is a constant hum of perpetual crowd noise and bit of music playing the background. Random applauses coming from distant corridors. Its swirls and drifts and people are waving, hugging, stopping to chat, leaving to find another familiar face. Over the four days I had three separate people look at me and burst out into tears. It was a song they heard. It was the overwhelming nature of it all. The limitless talent creating self-doubt. The showcase they ROCKED in. The lack of sleep. The love found and love lost. All crammed into this floating spacecraft for a weekend of folk music. The brightest, most sensitive, creative, caring people on the planet – here for one reason or another to collectively huddle around this gigantic tribal fire we call Roots music. To say “We believe in social justice, we believe in bringing you a better world through music, we believe in each other.
The group hug shifted smaller tighter rooms upstairs as the night descended.

Three floors of the hotel were used for private showcases. Beds used as stages and seating and creatively designed rooms made to feel like mini-concert halls. The walls (unfortunately) plastered with random images of artists (mine included) in what looked like a spectacular art installation. Dionysius hovered above the masses as songs poured out of every room and the love train circled throughout the hallways.

On my second night, I found myself in front of the elevator doors with approximately one hundred other artists singing “Oh darling….if you leave me…I’ll never make it alone…believe me when I tell you…I’ll never make it alone!”
Until that point I hadn’t consumed a drop of alcohol since New Year’s Eve. Suddenly, after thinking about a girl I missed, I loved…I sang the lyrics in unison and reached for a glass of rum. I turned to a new friend (a brilliant writer from OZ – Jordie Lane) and said “I think this is something!”
“Yep…this floats mate!” We laughed and continued to chat.
Winds up I was to do a writers round in a few days with him and Sam Baker from Austin and Del Barber from Canada. It was a great casual meeting. It was a singular pleasure of the week for me to hear such great songwriters from the same stage. I could tell you about every song but alas there is not enough time.
So Jordie introduced me to his girl and we snuck away from the happening to play each other some newly minted songs. It was a highlight. Two days later I found myself at 3:00a.m. telling them both about the ways of love. Naturally, my drunken verbosity was at its loudest, most fiendish and embarrassing height! It couldn’t have been all that bad as they attempted to have me meet Steve Poltz, another terrific writer I’d met last year at the Halifax Urban Folk Festival we were a part of. It went on like this for days. Fun, tiredness, catching this artist here and that artist there.
I won’t begin to tell you who I loved and who inspired. The list is too long and the quality was too spectacular. I will tell you that Chip Taylor (please Google him) was the pinnacle of all pinnacles. It’s another story entirely. “Fuck all the perfect people!” Indeed Chip.

So, on occasion I would run into my travelling companions who were running another room and sleeping in another room. I had my own room which was a beautiful break. On the last night, I was just navigating my way back to my room when I ran into a guy I’ve been meaning to meet for a long while. Dave Gunning. An east-coaster who’s a terrific writer. We talked about these crazy things we have in common and then all roads led to his Stompin Tom stories. He was on the road with Stompin for a long time I kept asking questions and he kept delivering.
By the time it was done, I’d learned how to impersonate Stompin Tom via Dave – “Squint one eye, fake a drag off of a cigarette, pretend to pull down your cowboy hat, lean in and speak with a nasally accent and say – YOU AIN’T ONE OF THEM FALSY DOWNSY DRINKERS ARE YA?”
(which by the way is the title of Kev Corbett’s wife’s book which I intend to buy pronto).
So we talked about a million things and somehow we drifted and before you know it I was stumbling down the hallway, a self-proclaimed victim of the rum, Stompin Tom and my alter ego. Somehow I found my way to bed to sleep it off and prepare for the journey home.

We left the hotel in the distance and our new driver Sarah graciously agreed to navigate us toward the Paris of the north – Decatur Illinois. Words cannot describe my gratitude for this amazing gesture. My vertigo at an all time high, she was perfect. I fretted when we started hitting enormous potholes in Decatur as I was primarily insured but alas, she pulled through. I won’t sully the story with the Wasteland that was Decatur. A soy plant provided the employment for the city. Vast empty fields dotted with torn down factories and billowing smoke and one way streets and rampant nothingness. We settled on a Blob Evans to dine but 9pm on a Sunday found it well closed. We would find our beer and grease elsewhere. I would have settled for a Steak and Lube by then.

We made it back to the absurdly run down motel. I love the smell of carpet freshener in the morning! (Not to mention that one of the male contingents snuck into the room to destroy the can prior to our arrival – my god – I’ve seen the smell of death). The night finally winding down we flicked on the TV for our last taste of Americana and laughed ourselves to sleep watching the new Jim and Tammy Faye Baker sell their bullshit version of God.

It had something to do with miracle water sold by a guy who looked like he’d fallen asleep in tanning bed for an extra day and had to have some plastic grafted on to his melted chin. His capped teeth beamed as he spoke in that loud whisper (as most TV evangelistic con artists do) suggesting to the poor unemployed soy factory workers from Decatur that they should buy their way into heaven with a ‘simple tithe’ for ‘miracle water’ and the chance to meet Jebus at end times. Now here’s the kicker (you can’t make this shit up) his name? PETER POPPOFF….I’m just going to leave it at that.

The shenanigans just kept rolling along until we made it back to TO. The music, the happy tired, the new friendships, the craziness of it all.

I found myself on a subway two days later reading a hilarious book of fiction about the music industry. It was the perfect end to a week that saw me laughing out loud too many times.
I looked up as though I’d just said “Rabbits are sexy!” on the northbound subway to Finch. A woman was smiling at me. I realize what I had done. I had just laughed out loud after reading the first chapter of this book…I believe I startled everyone on that particular car.

She looked at me asked “It must be a good book?”
Resisting the urge to blurt out “Rabbits are sexy!” I quietly whispered, “Oh wow…you have no idea.”

I put down my book and pulled out my pen and paper and wrote:

IN THE MORNING I’M LEAVING RICHMOND
UPON THE NORTHBOUND TRAIN
HEADING TO MY CROSSROADS
WESTBOUND TO JANE

It never ceases to amaze me where we can find time to squeeze in our little creative ramblings. I’m writing to you from my dermatologists waiting room in the heart of Scarborough, ON. Just to reinforce the Rob Ford stereotypes of our great city, upon arriving at Dr. Adams office I was greeted by six police cars taping off the main entrance into the building. All in a day’s work for the GTA’s finest. This was so far removed from the Pogues song I had blasting on the drive in: “And the boys from the NYPD choir were singing Galway Bay…and the bells were ringing out on Christmas Day.” No, unfortunately the boys were busy sharing a Timmies lunch and directing traffic away from the action. A quick hike up the side door entrance stairwell and into room #310 and voila…I’m visiting the doc.

“Hello I’m Jay Aymar, here to see Dr. Adams.” “Do you have your health card? What’s your address? Phone number? Year of birth?” “Do you want my mother’s maiden name too?” I said with a half-cocked smile. “I beg your pardon? You mother’s maiden name? We don’t need that! Wait time one to two hours! We’re not that busy today.”

The joys of universal healthcare. In Canada time isn’t money. Still, I’m proudly socialist at heart. I write this as a poster peeks over my shoulder reading “Government cuts put Health Care at RISK!” I don’t know anymore. Too many messages not enough brain capacity to decipher the truth of it all.

I’m just hoping my second most precious organ (my skin) is going to withstand the three times I’ve suffered heat stroke. I’m sure I’ll be fine. The first time was unlike anything you could ever imagine. Let’s a take quick detour shall we? Consider this a PSA on what not to do in the sun – ever! First you’re going to have to sit through the back story. It’s worth it.

That summer I was one year away from finishing my B.A. at Carleton. Let’s just say I took the long way home on that one. My childhood buddy, Andy was finishing his Masters at The University of Toronto in Entymology. His thesis was on the white pine weevil and its effect on jack pine plantations in Northern On. (You know – that old chestnut!) Specifically, something called an ’emergence’ study. The weevil would fly around at about six feet and plant its larva into the top node of a young pine tree then fall onto the ground, burrow it’s way under the earth for one full winter. The effect of those larva in the trees would eventually (30+ years down the road) devalue the timber when it came time to harvesting the trees. At the time EB Eddy (match sticks and toilet paper) had purchased the massive amounts of land off of KVP (all north of Sudbury ON and south of Timmins – near HWY 144/560.) EB Eddy had some semi-operational logging camps still going and they contacted the University of Toronto Forestry program to see if they could run a study on this pesky white pine weevil that was devaluing their crops. If some students could come up and find out exactly when the weevil would re-emerge from the frozen tundra then they would know the exact time to aerial spray, killing them dead while they were in their most susceptible state. (That’s my best interpretation of the science behind it all – Bill Nye I ain’t). Andy was naturally selective of who he had to work with for two full summers and convinced his professor that I was a good fit with a science background (Political Science was indeed my minor! lol).

So there we were, building weevil traps, tracking them, dissecting nodes, partying with tree planters, meeting mad-trappers and basically having more fun than two-humans ever should. All the while I was playing songs and writing new ones feverishly.

Of the locals we met, one of them owned the Watershed Restaurant. Jim had bought the truck-stop along with his father-in-law after winning 100K from a dream house lottery ticket he bought at a Legion dinner one night. He and his father-in-law chipped in and as he claims “I was so pissed, I totally forgot I had bought the ticket. Three months later, someone calls me to say they that my name was pulled and I need my half of the ticket to claim the prize. I had one month. I turned my house upside down. I couldn’t find it. Didn’t remember buying it. I gave up. With only two days to spare, I found the ticket behind my dresser in the baseboards! We sold the house and with the money we made bought this truck-stop!”

Jim, noticing my passion for playing the guitar with the old-timers every weekend invited me to a yearly ritual of driving down to Wheeling West Virginia to The Jamboree in the Hills. Essentially a Woodstock for country music fans. Wheeling WV boasting the first country music station, now hosted this four day extravaganza of country music from traditional to modern. The year I went it was everyone from Tanya Tucker, Pam Tillis, Marty Stuart, Callme Twitty, Brooks and Dunn and about forty other artists I despised. (With the exception of Willie Nelson.)

“Jay, you gotta come along to this. We have a friend in Orillia, Gary, who owns a big bus with a gigantic loon painted on the side of it and we pack in about thirty of us and head down as the Crazy Canucks. We stay in a Super 8 near the jamboree. It’s four days of hot sun, hot country girls, great music, tons of party supplies. You have to come!” Jim looked up only to find a Road Runner cloud where I was standing. I was already on the bus.

As we drove down, I was seated next to guy named Dale Rolfe. He was the brother-in-law to Gary who owned the bus. Dale was now a plumber living in the Muskokas (originally from Timmins, ON), who’d once played in the NHL for about seven years as an Original 6 defenseman for the Los Angeles Kings then the New York Rangers. He was big man who by his own admission had more penalty minutes than points. (A lot more). In fact, it was the era of these underground hockey fight tapes (long before the internet) and Dale had made a few of the ‘classic fights!’ I said, “Hey Dale I believe I saw you on this fight tape going up against Dave Shultz? Did you ever see that?” “Well kid, I saw it once…once was enough!” What an answer! That’s when I knew this guy was going to be the best road companion an inquisitive songwriter could ever ask for. Our discussion let to my passion for folk music. Much to my surprise, an old ex-warrior original six NHL’er shared the same passion. Not only the same love of folk music, but the same artists. “Aymar, I’m not big on this new country stuff, I’m just going along because my brother-in-law likes it. It’s a great party! I like guys like John Prine.” “What You Talking Bout Willis? He’s one of my favourites!” This was right when Prine had released his comeback album The Missing Years and suddenly Dale Rolfe and I could be heard at the back of the bus screaming “Jesus was a good guy, he didn’t need this shit, so he took a pill with some Coca Cola and he swallowed it!” Just one of many classic lines pilfered from the latest Prine collection. We hung together for the rest of the trip.

I learned more about the original six hockey teams over the course of the next four days simply through sitting at the Super 8 drinking weird vodka drinks talking until the wee hours. I’ll put it to you this way – he dedicated his life to making the bigs and he was one of the very fortunate and talented few who actually did! When I met him, he had just retired from being a plumber. You get what I’m saying? These days a kid signs a one year contract and is set for life. He was big on the topic of Eddy Shack going after the pension money. I believe that was finally resolved – hopefully to Dale’s benefit.

We hit the jamboree for three solid days of music in the sun. It would start at noon and go until about 11pm at night. It was literally a bowl shaped grass stadium with people everywhere. At least 30,000 people were there each day. It was crazy. I simply remember staying up till 3:00am every morning partying in the Super 8, completely overrun with revelers coming back from the jamboree. The hotel was encouraging the party. Then, it was up at noon to hit the scorching hot West Virginia heat to listen to the midday sounds of The Oak Ridge Boys cajoling thousands of rednecks into singing “Giddy-up Giddy-up Giddy-up a mow-wow.high-ho Silver away..my heart’s on fire – ELVIRA!” Ouch! Just pretend I’m Old Yeller and bring me behind the barn and pump lead into my hungover carcass. Elvira and hangovers don’t mesh.

Now on the second night, I’d busted out my favourite t-shirt of the summer. A shirt that was given to me for my birthday from my good buddy BO (who tragically passed away last year). It was a play on the Nike advertisement: Just Do It. The shirt read “JUST DO ME” in big block letters. Well, some random American beauty met me stumbling in the hallways of the Super 8 at 3am, and with a move I’ll never forget she pulled out a bottle of tequila, took a shot, gave me a shot and pointing at my shirt said “OK!” I woke up the next morning to Dale Rolfe hauling me out her room. He was there to get me on the morning bus to catch DAY 3. A day of musical acts I didn’t care about. I really should have just stayed in bed.

As we did every day at the jamboree site, we slowly made our way off of the bus to the back of the hills atop the bowl. Our area offered great site lines, close to the outdoor speakers. On this particular day, I knew I would find a big shady spot and keep my ball cap on and find a place to sleep off the hangover that had produced a cotton plantation in my mouth and the Sahara in my bones. As we settled in, the heat warning came across the loud speakers: “Get your free sunscreen and water over at the medic tent! It’s going to be dangerously hot today. Please visit the medic tent for free SUNSCREEN AND WATER!”

I decided to make my way over the tent for the water. It was to be a long journey for sure, and as I disembarked for my life changing voyage one of the sensible women of our party offered me her umbrella for safety. I staggered my way through the masses, through the heat, when suddenly I noticed a throng of Harley Davidson’s blocking off a quadrant of land. Patched bikers had staked their claim in an area not far from the medic tent. They had erected a large sign which read `Show us your hooters for a free beer!’ Well, that’s one way to get a girls attention! WTF? What is this? In my haze of my mid-day heat-induced water run, I found myself defenseless to this carnival sideshow pleasantly unfolding. A long haired grizzly looking redneck biker sitting next to a black coffin (yes a real coffin) filled with ice-cold Budweiser. Fifty or so bikers (men and women) were cheering every country girl who came by and flashed them for a free beer. It was, for lack of a better term: hillbilly paradise. So ludicrous were these events, I made sure I analyzed them in great detail. The circus only wasted an hour of my limitless time. Suddenly a woman who resembled a 1985 version of Joan Jett tapped me on the shoulder “Hey man, that’s one fucking great t-shirt! Just Do Me! I’d say that’s worth a free Bud! Hey Rocky, throw this dude a beer! Hey…nice catch!” “Absolutely, I’m Canadian. Wouldn’t miss that catch for the world.” And so the magic of the shirt worked again. I downed the beer and then Rocky threw me another one. As they laughed at the skinny Canadian kid with the tacky t-shirt shot-gunning beers, I suddenly realized I had somehow infiltrated the inner circle of the biker gang. Then without warning, the hangover had disappeared and I felt as though I was on top of the world. In the background some low rent country newbie was on stage singing about pickup trucks while country girls were baring their breasts for fun, and there I was… slowly drifting into an alcoholic haze amidst the safety and creepy comfort of a patched biker gang. Just then, all hell broke loose and two bikers got into a serious tussle. Joan Jett tapped me on the shoulder and said “You should split man!” “You don’t have to tell me twice. Thanks for the beers!”

By now I’d forgotten that my original mission was to hit the medic tent for water. I walked ten minutes back up the hill to the middle of nowhere, stuck my umbrella into the ground and proceeded to pass out amongst the thousands of people obliviously walking around me.

In a scene which would have called for an Ennio Morricone score, I awoke to strange sounds, blurred vision and a young girl with her mother standing over me. “Hey, wake up. Wake up. You don’t look well. Your face is badly burned. You need medical attention.” “What? Where am I? Who are you? Whaaaaa?” I proceeded to wipe the sweat off of my forehead and let go a howl as I wiped off the burnt skin. “What happened to you? How long have you been here they said?” “I don’t know. I laid down here with my umbrella for shade at 1pm. Where’s my umbrella and hat?” “Oh my GOD, it’s 4pm and no one stopped to wake you up? Your umbrella must have blown away!”

So, they walked me to the medic tent, to put gauze on my forehead. They found my concerned friends who’d put out an APB for me and my friend Jim took me to the bus and delivered my burnt noodle back to the Super 8. Here I laid with severe burns and heat stroke until the following day when the bus headed home for Canada. Somehow in all of that, I lost my Billy-Bobs Subs (Home of the Belly-Buster) Trucker hat, my new sandals, an umbrella, my JUST DO ME t-shirt and every ounce of my dignity. I arrived back to the white pine weevil study with quite the story to tell and heaps of new found respect for the sun. That became my first of three heat stroke episodes and soon afterwards my first meeting with the dermatologist Dr. Adams.

—- How was that for a diversion? —-

The best part of these visits is Dr. Adams himself, who could be the younger brother of Mel Brooks. I imagine if Mel had gone the route of using his brother as a comic foil in the great tradition of brother-comics (i.e. The Smothers Brothers, McLean and McLean, Bob and Doug MacKenzie/Bob and Doug Ford) he would have surely resembled Dr. Adams. His dry, quick witted delivery and intense interest in my mini-show business life always equals a great visit.

“So you married yet Jay?” “No not yet!” “Geez you must be having a lot of fun out there!” “Oh yeah, it’s BabesRus 24/7. You gotta see the folk trail, it’s insane!” lol “Well remember, be careful out there. It’s a crazy these day.” “Roger that. That goes for roger too!”

And these quick interchanges have been going back and forth for many, many years now all in the name of monitoring the scarring and potential damage done by my lackadaisical summer outings. Left untreated, I would certainly go the route of looking even more ruggedly handsome than I currently do. So these visits have become the norm in my life as I fear my weathered skin will soon be resembling a Rawling’s catcher’s mitt in the not too distant future. Here I sit, waiting for my next round of treatments. I thought, what a great place to bring my laptop and write my end-of-year Road Stories blog….and what a year it’s been.

(Dr. Adams told me to stay out of the sun. It’s a contributing factor to my vertigo – a severe loss of balance that I’ve lived with for over ten years. He said, my skin is ok for now. “You need vitamin D? Just stick your hand in the sun for 10 minutes – it’ll pour in through your hand and that’s all you need!” That’s really what he said. A quick tip for all of you sun worshipers out there.)

— I’m home now. Well if you want to call it home. I’m back at my sisters and brother-in-laws house where they’ve been graciously allowing me to hang my hat when not on tour. I don’t even know where to start with that conversation. A million thanks wouldn’t cover it. It’s deeper than that. —-

The Year That Was:

I toured for well over seven months of the year and found myself meeting new friends, artists, fans, luthiers, artistic directors, music industry folks, pot-smoking-crack-head-junkies (unelected officials at least) , white-collared criminals, the criminally insane and the lowest of the low: concert promoters . I had so many kind letters about my latest creation “OVERTIME”. I put my heart and soul into every word and note on that record. I wonder at times if it was too heavy on the thought provocation and too light on the toe tapping. (Artistic insecurity alert!) The reviews were all stellar. I really was humbled. My closest friends and family reserved their praise. Family will always (rightfully) cut to the bone. “It needs a beat. It sounds too country. You should have rewritten that part. You didn’t take enough time with the cover art or the packaging. Why didn’t you make it sound contemporary?” I find it much more reassuring when the false praise comes from fellow musicians.

So that’s it. Thanks for reading the ramblings. I love you all. Have a great Festivus with family and friends and I’ll do the same. As for Facebook and social media etc…I will officially be Tuned Out and Turned Off. If you absolutely need to get in touch with me you can drop me an email to info@jayaymar.com and I’ll get back to you within the week.