The truth about Scotland is no April Fools'

Let's hope the Scots have a sense of humour. The Guardian, Mail and Telegraph have all opted for April Fool's jokes on the theme of independence. The gags are quite good. We've got the design for the new Scottish pound coin, with Alex Salmond's profile, and not the Queen's, on one side. The Mail has the secret plans for a new British flag, minus the blue. And the Guardian details how Scotland will switch to driving on the right, with ingenious devices for swapping from one side to the other at the border. It's all gentle, harmless fun, isn't it?

But here's the problem. The truth is distinctly unfunny. On the front of the FT there's the latest on the growing tensions between the centre and Alistair Darling: "No10 scotches Darling on pound vote". This is the fall out from yesterday's Today programme confusion when the former Chancellor appeared to suggest there should be a referendum in the rest of the UK on a currency union with Scotland. "I don't know what process he was going through," a Downing Street source says. Inside the FT develops the theme with "Policy rifts rock No campaign in Scotland vote", and then hammers it with a leader: "Mixed messages on Scotland's future – The unionists need to re-energise their campaign". The FT has been leading the English pack on the Scotland debate, but even if we aim off for its enthusiasm, this is grim reading.

All this highlights two issues: the no campaign is in difficulty – polls show the yes vote increasing – and England is indifferent. Mr Cameron's appeal for those of us who live south of the border to weigh in and fight for the Union has patently not worked. Alan Cochrane's cri de coeur yesterday made the point that it's time for unionists to get the collective finger out was eloquent, but the scale of his task is underscored by today's April Fool jokes. Yes, I know, it's all a bit of fun, but we should save the laughs for after September 18. The English need to wake up to the fact that Scottish independence won't help the Scots, and it will screw them too.