Men Are Getting Brazilian Waxes Now (What Dumb Name Will They Give This Trend?)

It’s obnoxious enough that we have to wade through so many trend pieces about the death of pubic hair (just because it isn’t in porn doesn’t mean it’s dead; stop), but now we have to wade through trend pieces about men getting waxed bare, too. Worse still, whenever men do something traditionally female, someone has to come up with some thoroughly insufferable vocab in lieu of having an actual angle (see manscaping, Male Polish, Brotox).

The below-the-belt treatment — which, just like the women’s version, removes either some or all pubic hair — is becoming increasingly popular, and not just among competitive swimmers or underwear models. “What we’re finding is, it’s everybody,” said Mike Indursky, the president of the Bliss chain of spas, which offers a men’s Brazilian called the Ultimate He-Wax for $125. “It’s the gay community, it’s the straight community, it’s very conservative guys, it’s very liberal guys. All different age groups are coming in. It’s much, much bigger than we ever thought.”

Since Bliss introduced men’s waxing services in February 2011, Mr. Indursky added, their popularity is on track to double by the end of this year with Brazilians as the most frequently booked service.

Oh, well, let’s add “he-wax” to our vocab sheet. Great.

But! Why are men across the political spectrum getting their pubes removed? One salon owner speculates it’s because… (get ready for some stereotypes to be reinforced):

Some men think there’s an added perk of getting a Brazilian: an enlarging effect for the main attraction. “It accentuates it, because there’s nothing to obscure the, you know, implement down there,” said Ramon Padilla, the director of Strip: Ministry of Waxing, a salon in SoHo, which charges $85 for a so-called Boyzilian.

It makes their dicks look bigger? Of course! And: boyzillian. Great, that too.

As we said, it’s bad enough that we have another vanishing pubic hair trend piece, but can everyone just chill the fuck out on inventing man versions of common terms? No matter what you call it, you’re getting waxed. Using some dumb masculine prefix isn’t going to change that.

Moreover, ladies and gentlemen: is that what we want? Is this the future? Let’s discuss.

Before anyone goes trolling, let’s also remember that we do not live in a world of false dilemmas–by which we mean, the alternative to going completely bare is not having some gigantic rotten sprout salad down there. If you want to witness a few people unable to understand this extremely simple concept, please enjoy the comment thread on this post we did about lady body hair.