The Bible, Gay Marriage and Civil Union

North Carolina is about to vote on banning gay marriage.

North Carolina is about to vote on banning gay marriage, and not just gay marriage but civil unions and domestic partnerships too. That would be the effect of the proposal on Tuesday's ballot. Rev. Billy Graham, one of the most respected religious leaders in the United States, has lent his support to the proposed ban, saying, "the Bible is clear – God's definition of marriage is between a man and a woman." With all due respect, I must disagree.

Anyone who reads the Bible will find all kinds of household relationships going on, and very few of them are between one man and one woman who are married. Abraham, the founder of all three monotheistic religions, has one son by his wife Sarah, and another by Hagar the Egyptian. In the Jewish and Christian traditions Hagar is considered a slave or concubine, but Islam considers her Abraham's second wife. Abraham has at least one other wife and many concubines. Hardly one man and one woman.

The Bible is full of multiple wives, concubines and female slaves. Jacob married both Rachel and Leah. King David had multiple wives and Solomon, according to legend, had hundreds. Concubines were commonplace and women were considered property. The commandment against adultery was understood as protection against one man stealing another man's property. This is not marriage as we understand it, as a free choice between willing partners.

In the New Testament, Jesus does not particularly encourage marriage of any sort. He tells his followers that they must be ready to leave their families and follow him. Paul says that it's permissable to marry, but only if you can't control your desires. Staying single would be preferable. Even Mary and Joseph, the mother and father of Jesus, are not married when Jesus is born.

Rev. Graham is entitled to his own opinion on gay marriage and civil unions, although I disagree with him. But for him to claim that the Bible is clear about marriage being between one man and one woman is just not historically accurate. The Bible is all over the map on loving relationships, from multiple wives and slavery to the erotic poetry of the Song of Solomon, describing an encounter between unmarried lovers; from unwed parents giving birth to the messiah, to the special friendship between David and Jonathan, which many readers believe is a story of gay love.

The Bible, for all its depth of vision, does not give unambiguous answers to all the difficult questions of life. We can honor the Bible, but we still need to reflect, reason, interpret and also consult the best secular knowledge we have. The moral arc of the universe is bending toward full equality for all people, including gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender citizens, regardless of what happens in any particular election. As we move in that direction we are actually fulfilling the greatest commandment of all, to love our neighbors. The sooner that day comes, the better for us all.