In doing my homework on the subject, I was taken aback and even surprised to find that the word “rationalize” comes from the root word for “reason”.

This means of course that there’s a thin line between a justifiable reason and an outright excuse.

Let's break it down

Reason: A fact, situation, or intention that explains why something happened, why someone did or did not do something, or why something is true

Excuse: A lie that you give to explain why you have done something or have not done something that you should have done.

Drum Roll Please

Reasons protect us and guard us, they propel us to the next step to accomplishing our goals, but here comes the pause… How can you tell whether your reasons for not doing something are a bump on the road or really an excuse?

Reasons quickly can become excuses when they require too many explanations. Even if your reasons are true, it doesn't make them right.

My dad the late great Pedro Lopez Sr. would always tell me that the best listeners don’t listen while waiting to speak, the best listen, listen again, digest what was said, then speak.

It was instilled in me to be a good listener from very early on.

So how do you become a better listener?

1. Think about the people you’re with rather than yourself.

Your capacity to hear them – and I mean really hear them – is amplified when you’re not concentrated on something in your own life. It sharpens your quickness to hear when all the problems and drama from your own life aren't in the forefront of your mind. Listening helps you define their moment, not yours.

2. Don't Interrupt.

When my son had a stuttering issue, I was told that if I let him finish his sentences and thoughts without interrupting, it would help him to feel like a fully expressive human being. It was important for me to hear him...

Sometimes you find yourself giving an excuse, because you didn't have the heart to say “no” to the person or the invite, event, dinner, etc.

Simply put, It’s OK to say, “No, thank you.” If you’re too busy, just say you’re too busy. If you would rather be home, say that you plan on relaxing at home that day. If you don’t have the money just say it.

It’s better to say no than to commit to something you won’t actually do and then look bad.

6 Simple, yet effective ways to say “NO”:

I don’t have the time.

I can’t afford that right now.

My plan for Friday night is to relax at home with the family.

It’s too far away.

I’m not feeling it.

No, thank you

The number one way to get out of making excuses is to not commit to something you don’t want to do!

23 years have gone by since I first wanted to write a book. I started to write on my notepad, I told my friends and family that I was going to be an author and then the excuses came pouring in. I’m too busy now; let me put it off to next year. I just got married and I need to concentrate on building a family. Just purchased my first house I don’t have the money. I took a bigger role at work and now I don’t have time… blah, blah, blah.

276 months of excuses. 1,196 weeks of excuses. 83,395 days of excuses.

Excuses somehow make you feel good about not being as great as you can be. Let me repeat that because it’s important: You have excuses that somehow make you feel good about not being as great as you can be!