Friday, November 9, 2012

Jeff Lewis: Still Flipping Out

SELLER Jeff LewisLOCATION: Los Angeles, CAPRICE: $1,450,000SIZE: 2,368 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3 bathroomsYOUR MAMAS NOTES: On the currently airing sixth season of the reality program Flipping Out, sometimes temperamental house flipper and sassy-pants Bravolebrity Jeff Lewis bought a 1940s traditional on Spring Oak Drive in Los Angeles, CA without telling his much younger and punctiliously primped live-in man-friend—and employee—Gage Edward who at least acted for the cameras as if he were none too pleased with the behind-his-back acquisition.*Property records show the Spring Oak Drive domicile, located on narrow cul-de-sac in the Bronson Canyon area of Los Angeles, was acquired by Mister Lewis—and only Mister Lewis—in April (2012) for $1,350,000. Yesterday—sixth months and an extensive and expensive renovation later—the property is back on the open market with an only slightly higher asking price of $1,450,000. Current listing information shows the stucco-sided house—set hard up on the narrow street like many houses in the canyons that twist up out of the L.A. and now painted an au courant shade of cement—has three bedrooms and three bathrooms in 2,368 square feet of fully renovated and systems-upgraded interior space. The house sits atop a tight but coveted by canyon dwellers street level two-car garage.

The open plan main living/dining/cooking space has putty-colored walls set off against gleaming white trim work, milk chocolate hued hardwood floors and a thick cluster of quasi-masculine chocolate brown leather sofas and armchairs. Both the bay window in the living area and the double bank of French doors that open to a Juliet balcony in the dining area have a minor city view broken—as seen on recent episodes of Flipping Out—by an unfortunate, eye-level lace of telephone wires and power lines. There's also a surprising amount of track lighting.

The Shaker style cabinets in the center island kitchen appear in listing photographs to be two shades darker than the walls and the slab counter tops—of unknown material—several more shades darker yet. The well-equipped has two sinks, a four-burner commercial-style range and convenient access to the backyard.

The master bedroom—the brown and beige and a little bit blue one—has an all-new attached bathroom with his and his sinks, a sizable soaking tub and a separate glassed-in shower stall.** There's also, according to listing information, a "walk in diva closet"—a term that, quite frankly, makes Your Mama squirm with discomfort at our fragile core. A hall bathroom is shared by two more bedrooms including what we think is Zoila's bedroom, the one with denim-colored walls, direct backyard access and a deep brown faux-fur blanket draped over the end of the bed. The last bedroom, with French doored access to a hedged patio on the front-side of the house, was used by Misters Lewis and Edward and office space.Also used as office space is a spacious lower level area with separate side entrance, custom-built floor-to-ceiling storage cabinets—dee-voon!—and a large room with gray walls, gray wall to wall carpeting, white trimwork and a chunky brick fireplace that Mister Lewis doused in high gloss black paint. Listing information suggest this might make a nice media room and it probably would.

Just as he did with the house, Mister Lewis waved his house flipping wand over the terraced outdoor living areas that include a spacious concrete patio that wraps around the back of the house with separate dining area and lounging areas. A wide, gated stairway climbs up to the next level where there's a newly installed swimming pool and sunbathing terrace. A few more steps on either end of the pool curve up to a narrow but flat and grassy are and elevated spa with lovely if hardly spectacular view over Bronson Canyon.Presumably Misters Lewis and Edward—and Zoila too—have finally moved to their big new house in Los Feliz, bought July 2011 for $1,625,000, where there may or may not soon be the and incessant wailing of a small child to go along with theonslaught of barbsand jabs for which Mister Lewis has become (in)famous.

*A little back story for those who don't watch the program: Mister
Edward has made it clear he wants to make babies with Mister Lewis and was—so the story line
went—under the impression they would move from their cramped West
Hollywood rental to a much larger, family-sized house in the Los Feliz
area that they were in the process of renovating at significant effort
and expense.

Besides Mister Lewis buying a million dollar
plus house without consulting him, Mister Edward's primary concern with
the Spring Oak residence was that it's simply not large enough to
accommodate three full-time human residents (Misters Lewis and Edward
and house maid Zoila), five pets (three dogs and two cats), two
part-time domestic workers (Lupe and Nancy) and three full-time
employees of Mister Lewis' design firm (Jenni, Vanina and that hot mess
Andrew) plus a baby and—presumably—a live-in nanny because you know these two busy, high-maintenance queens will get a live-in nanny.

**Question for Mister Lewis: Why not a steam-equipped shower here? Do you not care for them? Too costly to install and maintain? Just curious because if Your Mama and The Dr. Cooter had your dough—and we don't—we'd most certainly have a steam situation in the master bedroom.

***We've never actually heard that. Just a a little, harmless literary license.

I seriously dont know what is less believable..that Jeff Lewis is 42 or that Gage is in his early 20's. Both look well beyond those years. I can only asssume the last episode will be Jeff on bended knee with stroller behind him handing Gage a key (not a ring) to the Los Feliz property (and probably a big property rights contract off camera).

Any theories as to why Lewis invested 6 months of his own and his staff's time and Lord knows how much out-of-pocket $ into a reno, only to price it just at $100K above what he paid for the pre-reno property? It's not like he's trying to unload a property he bought at the height of the bubble.

Well, I tried not to, hoping that at some point he would just go bankrupt and dissapear and we wouldn't see a Mr. Lewis home anymore, or one that her has on the market for like a year.

Mr. Lewis, as you can see by his track record is not really a house flipper. He is reality t.v. personality. So, he can *lose* money on these houses and still bag 50k an ep on his show.

So, as long as he gets the ratings and all this free promotion--he will continue to be forced by the network to do his version of a flip. Or, just an unload at whatever price when the season is over.

If his "career" was just based on his houses--he would be gone. He really has no distinct talent for decorating, remodeling, or re-doing. Or, maybe he does, just a little, but his Pink Toyota lady needs to go!

Sorry Momma. He just makes for some good trainwreck t.v.

Okay, I better just stop hating now (or telling too much of the truth) but I think the reason I am being so hurtful with this, is that no one is calling this what it is--a failed career in home decor and remodel--and a successful career in tragic t.v.

Mr. Lewis is a house stepper--not house flipper. 100k price increase 6 months later on a nearly 1.5 million dollar house is not a flip. That's like flipping a quarter. Really, his decorating is horible. Cheap looking. Tacky. The colors don't work--in or out.

It's an innate talent some have and some don't. Jeff, your homes are out of balance and let me guess--you are somewhat off kilter yourself??

Mama, stop sniffin' Mr. Lewis' panty drawer. I am going to tell the Cooter to give you some smelling salts to straighten you out again!! You can't be trusted on Mr. Lewis' critiques. I let it go--but I am calling you out in front of the fam! And, don't be going upside my head at the Thanksgiving table with a wooden spoon from your collection.

Mama's black sheep in Weho.

And, remember, you can never start Mamma's Christmas shopping too soon. Hanging pot racks and ivy for the top of cabinets are on sale at Big Lots right now!!

I think personally, I am going to have some pea gravel spread in her drive way. Every time she hears that "crunching" sound she loves, that will be an I love you from me--her black sheep in Weho.

The Rabbi refrained from comment as she doesn't know from Mr. Lewis and Mr. Edward. (And suspects that they don't know from the Rabbi.). Also, the Rabbi experienced their home as pleasant while unremarkable. The Rabbi respectfully suggests that couple's counseling might enhance communication between Mr. Lewis and Mr. Edward, and accordingly create a more loving and functional mIleau in which to raise a child together. And the Rabbi discovered, purchased, and put away a precious pair of antique ceramic roosters to gift to Mama and the Dr. Cooter. (Kinderlach, please don't tell.)

Damn, I was counting on those Roosters for Chanukha so I could regift them to relatives at Christmas. Jeff Lewis was a riot but that bulb is about burned out. Did I miss how the 19 million Versace cottage got up to 100 million? Mama, please splain.

A friend lives at the end of this street. Jeff's house is a very short walk away.This street is a NIGHTMARE for parking and any more than 2 cars at a time.There's no privacy, houses above on the hill look right down over you.The good thing is the GENERAL location. You are a quick ride away from Frankiln and the trendy spots of Los Feliz.