Friday, September 23, 2011

Any parent of multiple children is well aware that 90% of the time siblings don't get along. They spend more of their time looking for ways to intentionally piss each other off and a fraction of that acting civilly. It's just the way it goes.

I'm sure that family dynamics such as the number of children, their ages, and genders play a huge role in sibling relationships. As well as a parent's stance on what is acceptable behavior or not.

Having two children of the opposite sex and the athlete being three years older than his sister means that in this house we do not allow fights and arguments to become physical. I'll be honest here, just because we don't allow it doesn' t mean they don't happen. I also think the rule is a little lopsided and greatly benefits the princess. Nine times out of ten SHE is the one who becomes physical knowing full well that her brother is not allowed to put his hands on a girl. He ends up getting kicked, slapped, pinched or what have you and when he finally reaches his boiling point and lashes out he gets in trouble for defending himself.

Because of this, the coach and I will usually intervene before things get nasty but lately their bickering has been nonstop. I am so sick of refereeing fights!

Yesterday afternoon when the princess decided to stir things up a bit by pretending to throw a pear at her brother I decided right then and there I was gonna sit this one out and quietly observe from the couch.

Holy shit people I was impressed! The entire episode lasted over twenty minutes, with each taking turns locking the other in the livingroom closet. They also took it upstairs raiding each other's room and stealing their most prized possessions threatening to destroy them.

Two points were scores by the princess when she pretended to rip down the athlete's favorite poster of the Bruins winning the Stanley cup and making tearing sounds were her mouth, successfully flushing him out of her room.

Two points were awarded to the athlete for making the princess actually think she had won the fight when she got him out of her room. But oh silly princess, did you actually think he would leave without snatching some collateral to take with him? Taking her rock collection was a brilliant idea and definitely got the reaction he was looking for.

More racing around. More yelling and screaming. More verbal threats and things like "Oh yeah" and "How'd you like that?" More scuffling and shoving sounds.When they reached the stairs I had to finally step in for fear of one of them falling down them.

I calmly separated them both, told them it was over and to get in the car. The princess put on quite show trying to convince me how hurt she had gotten even going as far as telling me she was shaking with fear and couldn't calm down.Her reason and I quote: "I had no idea he had such a temper". Are you joking me? My one and only response to her? "Well, now you know so don't push his buttons like that again."

The athlete was only concerned with making sure I was well aware that it was "all her fault". My reply to him, " You are just as much to blame as your sister. Next time ignore the pretend pear flying through the air and walk away. Not only will you not be in trouble but you also won't be late for soccer practice. Now get in the car."

And that was the end of that. Thinking about still I'm not sure if it was the most appropriate thing to do. But , I do know it was a big eye opener for them and for me too. I didn't know they had that in them!

What are the family dynamics in your home? What are your rules for sibling fights?