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And now...VOID, The Connection, in cooperation with Anarchy, Inc. present...
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"Phun in Movie Theatres!"
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...Dedicated to the Jackal...
Ah, so you have decided to suffer through yet another "Phun in..." phile?
Well, hopefully, this one will be worth your while...
The first thing you have to do is create a fuss at the ticket counter. I
don't care how old you are or look; Try to convince the dumb tickellers that youare under 12 and can get in for the cheap rate...Usually, they will get tired ofarguing with you and let you in cheaply.
Then proceed to the concession stand. By a nice big bowl (?) of popcorn.
This will prove useful in the future. Oh, yes, when you pay for your popcorn,
pay in pennies...Also buy a coke with *LOTS* of ice...
Go to the theatre itself. There are two main places where you can sit &
create havoc...both of these places will be oultined in the philes to come...
1. The first place is near the front. Sit in the very middle (crawling over
people to get there...) and position yourself for action. One of the most phun
things to do (Which I'm sure has been done by everyone...) is to throw popcorn
at ev'ryone...Mundane, but still drives people crazy... Another trick is to getup in the middle of the movie, crawl over all the people in your row, and stand
up in front of the screen. Yell something strange and quickly retire back to
your place...
Bring a frisbee along; I have found that the movie house is one of the
greatest placse to play fristbee with a friend....Just aim for that bald guy in
the hat...
Yet another phun trick is to say to your friend in a rather loud voice "gee, Ilost my $20 bill on the floor...can you help me find it?" Immediatly, ev'ryone
will begin to hunt for it...
2. Probably the best place to have phun is in the back. One of the first
things you can do is the place all the ice of your coke in front of the
door...watch all the instant ice skaters!
Play "bounce the popcorn on the bald guy with the hat"...This can be real
phun...se how high you can make *YOUR* piece of popcorn bounce!
This one is very phunny (thank God no one has done it to me!)...There is
*ALWAYS* a couple making out in the back of the theatre...simply bring your
trusty old flashlight and, at the appropriate moment, shine it at them... An
even cruller thing to do is bring a flash & flash it at them...they will think
you have taken a picture of them! (oh, how cruel!!)
Then there is always the making of strange noises from the back. Moo, grunt,
or make some other strange noise...the people in the theatre will spend the next1/2 hour going batty tring to figure out where it came from...
3. Other phun places incluse inside the curtains in the back of some
theatres...if you're lucky, you will catch someone making out back there, if
not, there are *ALWAYS* lots of phun wires and things to pull & experiment with
back there...If you're real clever (and mean as hell!), you can hide back
there...at a real scary memoeny, jump out at the people in the back row of the
theatre...(Note:I am not responsible for cases brought up as a result of a
heart attack caused by this...)
Oh yes, another place where people like to make out is behind the
big blue garbage bins (Believe it or not!)...Hide in one of the garbage cans,
and, again at the best moment, hop out & scare the hell out of
poor couple...
Note that all of these are non-dstructive phun...If you want the destructive
stuff, I'll write another phile...
..And, so, there you have it...just in time for Dune...hahaha...hee hee...
Written by Princess Leia in cooperation with VOID, The Connection and Anarchy,
Inc. C)1984...No rights reserved...
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the Progressive Underground
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