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Look. I’ve been doing the Twitter thing long enough to learn how to think outside the box in the most curated, SEO-friendly fashion possible. Every random Internet dude and hashtag-happy something-or-other tells me so. So it must be true, right?

Conventional Twitter Wisdom suggests I throw my spindly writerly arms up in frustration and offer Like Life Itself: Ten Short Stories, a collection of (shockingly) ten short stories for free for, oh, let’s say, the last five days of October simply because it’s a collection of dark tales and Halloween’s the latest thing plowing its way down the Hallmark Highway.

Personally, no.

Buy my ten-tiered tale-fest for $6.66, bitches! That’s right. It’ll cost you the Prince of Darkness-ly sum of Lucifer’s Number simply to gaze upon this work of bloody bloody-ness! Perchance your progeny shall not suffer the wrath of my…

Ha! Kidding! It’s free.

Seriously, though. The collection is a collection of dark tales. It’s mostly psychological horror, but there’re also an inexcusable amount of bodily fluids involved. In fact, a disembodied eye explodes on a barbeque grill at one point. For no reasonable reason. So deviant emptor.

Also, the first story is always free. True story.

P.S. Did I mention free? Like Life Itself is free between October 28th and November 1st, 2015. So get thee to an Amazon-ery and download it!