Just so it's out on front street, I'm really kinky and
identify as a submissive masochist. I am not switchy in the least.
I'm only attracted to women who are Dominant or switch. So if
you're looking for somebody to date/hookup/play with, that's a
thing you should know.

I'm a rogue and a bard. A gentleman charlatan. A bastard in every
sense of the word. A sad clown, a joyful doomsayer, a cranky old
man in a 26 year-old's body.

"Sometimes I just wanna drive until the streets run out / I wanna
burn until there's nothing left to burn about"

I like to climb trees, tell jokes and read books until my eyes
can't take it anymore. I like to make fun of everything. I enjoy
gaming, goofy horror movies, scary horror movies (if you'll cuddle
me during the scary parts), walking on foot to new places, comic
books, talking about Noam Chomsky, Indian food, Japanese food,
food, a nitrogen and oxygen rich atmosphere, having my hair pulled,
only being serious in private and being overwhelmed by the choices
on Netflix and then settling into a documentary about typefaces or
something, it was actually pretty cool.

"The gods love a fool."

Do you enjoy guys who make cute noises when you pet them? Do you
bite the hand that feeds you? Do you pick your feet in
Poughkeepsie? Do you still like climbing trees? Do you have a
favorite sci-fi movie where a major city gets blown up? Isn't stuff
neat?

"I am the fountain of affection / I'm the instrument of joy / And
to keep the good times rollin' / I'm the boy, I'm the boy..."

I'm a comedian and a Mk. I Nerd. Game of Thrones. Marvel movies.
Books with spaceships on the covers. Vidja garms. Look, I'm sure
you like these things too, but really it's all just stuff to kvel
and kvetch about with each other, as good as any other parcel of
things really. And I love those things! Don't get me wrong. They
are not what make us "weird" though, in fact they're quite
mainstream and normalized. “What” is much less interesting to me
than “how” and “why.” What's underneath? God, I love a good “why.”
Have you read The Masters of Solitude?

"I'd rather everyone in this room die right now than have this
fucking show go badly."

I work as a professional houseboy/sex-positive house cleaner, so
I'm not looking for a “service relationship.” That's not to say
that if we become close I won't serve you by cleaning, cooking, and
the like. That just can't be the basis of the relationship.
Ideally, we should both admire each other, enjoy each others'
company, and both want and desire each other in emotional and
sexual ways first. The toilet-scrubbing and garbage removal will
come, believe me.

"I want your touches to scar me so I'll know where you've been / I
want you to watch when I go down in flames"

Kinky things. I want to be in abject, adoring fear of you, like a
child before a stern, punishing parent, like an animal in a cage
with only a dim awareness of its captor's true cruelty. Pain is
just the medium. Melt me down to the base elements. Let's find out
what we're both made of. Let's go to the darkest, dankest places
and come back with treasure.

I can be a pet, but I am not a tame pet. I'm a Wildling, a
Targaryen. I'm not going to give it up easily. The paradox, of
course, is that I want to give it up SO HARD. So give me a reason.
Or, alternatively, don't allow "reason" to be a factor. To
paraphrase Game of Thrones, "I don't want to be
aprince. I want to be the prince." I'm looking
for someone I compliment. We should contrast well. A Zoe to my
Wash. A Leela to my Fry. A Lyanna to my Rhaegar (think about it.) A
Big Barda to my Mr. Miracle. I'll come for the imperium,
but I'll stay for the auctoritas. Like Trent said, I need
your discipline.

Books: A Song of Ice and Fire, The Dark Tower, Hitchhiker's Guide
to the Galaxy, Ishmael, The Masters of Solitude, Wintermind, Sword
of the Stars: The Deacon's Tale, The Lord of the Rings, Pure
Drivel, Superman: Birthright, In and Out, Ultimate Spider-Man (the
early stuff), A Canticle for Liebowitz, Zombie Spaceship Wasteland,
Hopes and Prospects: Theirs and Ours, My Girlfriend Comes To the
City and Beats Me, Harry Potter, Frankenstein, Everything's
Eventual, Nausea, The Plague, Bone, Red Eye/Black Eye, Ethics for a
Finite World, Debt: The First 5000 Years

Movies: Blazing Saddles, Unbreakable, The Quiet Earth, Gojira,
Seven Samurai, The Big Lebowski, The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai
Across the 8th Dimension, Clerks, Brazil, The Matrix Trilogy, The
Departed, Dr. Strangelove, or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And
Love The Bomb, The Cabin in the Woods, The Avengers, Yojimbo,
Throne of Blood, The Comedians of Comedy, Monty Python's Life of
Brian

Aedan_'s Soundtrack
"Flagpole Sitta" by Harvey Danger
"Minority" by Green Day
"Powertrip" by Monster Magnet
"Charisma Potion" by MC Frontalot
"Do It Anyway" by Ben Folds Five
"Blood, Sex and Booze" by Green Day
"Discipline" by Nine Inch Nails
"The Last Saskatchewan Pirate" by The Arrogant Worms
"Vengence" by The Protomen
"It's a Long Way To The Promised Land" by Bad Religion
"I Be On That" by Childish Gambino
"D'ampton Worm" by The Tossers
"Problem Child" by AC/DC
"One Week" by Barenaked Ladies
"The Mariner's Revenge Song" by The Decemberists
"Digging Up The World" by The Darkest of the Hillside
Thickets
"In The Garage" by Weezer
"Home For a Rest" by Spirit of the West
"New Orleans Is Sinking" by The Tragically Hip
"The Bear and the Maiden Fair" by The Hold Steady

Podcasts: The Smartest Man in the World, Walking the Room, Comedy
Bang! Bang!, You Made it Weird, The Nerdist, Harmontown, The Dana
Gould Hour

What's funny, existential dread, existential ecstacy, movies/tv
shows/books/games that are coming out, movies/tv shows/books/games
I would like to make, being tied up, having superpowers, food, and
cuddling.

* You identify as a Dominant and/or Sadist
* If you think this song and video are sexy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKfwCjgiodg
* You are a geek/dork/nerd/whatever
* You have an Armor Class
* You want to be bigger than you've ever dreamed
* You're in love with being Queen
* You remain crunchy even with liberal application of
milk
* You want somebody to brush your hair
* You want somebody who will clean and cook for you, in or out of a
little outfit ;)
* You are looking to Own a malleable little slut of Your very
own
* You want somebody who will curl up at your feet while we watch
TV/read books/just chat
* You want somebody to go out with and to come home to.
* You want somebody who will sing for you.