9 months old baby still sleeps only when i'm with her

09-08-2009, 10:06 PM

My 9 months old DD used to sleep in her crib (sometimes 7 hours straight) until she was three months old. Then she started waking up every hour and after few days i was so exhausted i started to bring her in bed with us. So she is still sleeping with us, waking at least 3-4 times during the night. I love having her with us, it's easier to meet her night needs but the main problem is that she is sleeping only when i'm beside her. If i try to sneak out of bed she is up immediately or at most in 15 minutes. That would even be fine with me if she would like nap alone but she doesn't. Every time i tried to put her down she is up crying. If i try to lie next to her and sneak out she is also up. I don't have hart to try cry it out method, but it's hard to get anything done, even to prepare her food, with this kind of sleeping arrangement. I'm ok most of time with all of this but i miss having some private time with my husband. Please, if you have any suggestions or similar experience i would be very happy to read about it. Thanks!

Don't worry, no one here is going to suggest the "cry it out" method. Is it possible for you to carry her with you when you get out of bed? It's natural for babies to desire to be attached to their mothers.

Comment

Thank you for your suggestion. I have actually try to carry her around but it's hard to get anything done when you carry your baby. I wasn't able to vacuum, prepare a meal or write an e-mail with her in carrier or sling. Maybe it's possible for someone but for me it didn't work. From the day she was born she was held and carried around a lot. She didn't like stroller in the beggining so we carried her for the first 4 months of her life. DH still takes her for walk without stroller -that's their special thing She is amasing, happy, alert and very social baby. She is so happy to go out and spend time with her little baby friends. I understand that she need and desire to be with me and DH and i'm more than happy to be with her (i'm SAHM but i would like if she would take just one nap alone maybe just over the weekends.

Comment

I'm surprised that a sling doesn't do it for you. It works wonders for me, though I do have to bend my elbows when doing things (it's not a bother once you get into the habit of it). You said that she enjoys walks with her dad; perhaps DH could spend some time with her while you get things done.

Comment

So, how long has this been going on? If it has been a week or two it might as well leave that soon too. I know that is not real comfort to a sleep deprived Mama but babies do progress quickly in stages at times and maybe she is having a serious growth spurt...either body or mind. Have you noticed any new skills? Is there anything unusual going on in your family life? That can also have a significant nighttime effect.

Comment

Have you tried a back carrier? I find that it is much easier to get things done with a babe on my back than on my front. I am talking about a soft carrier - not a frame backpack, which tend to be less comfortable, in my opinion.

Hang in there! It will get easier, and there will be phases of progress and phases of regression. I had a clinger for long time, too, and it eventually got better.

~Carrie

Comment

I'm not sure how long you are waiting to get up, but wait 20 minutes after you think she's asleep. My DD does this too, and if I wait 20 mins she usually will go an hour before she notices I'm gone lol

Comment

So, how long has this been going on? If it has been a week or two it might as well leave that soon too. I know that is not real comfort to a sleep deprived Mama but babies do progress quickly in stages at times and maybe she is having a serious growth spurt...either body or mind. Have you noticed any new skills? Is there anything unusual going on in your family life? That can also have a significant nighttime effect.

It's been like this for last six months, before that i used to nurse her then rock and hold her for 20-30 minutes and then put her in her crib in our bedroom (sometimes i had to repeat this few times because she would wake up as soon as i put her down, but some nights she would stay asleep for 7 hours).

Comment

Have you tried a back carrier? I find that it is much easier to get things done with a babe on my back than on my front. I am talking about a soft carrier - not a frame backpack, which tend to be less comfortable, in my opinion.

Hang in there! It will get easier, and there will be phases of progress and phases of regression. I had a clinger for long time, too, and it eventually got better.

~Carrie

Thank you Carrie for saying it's going to be better i guess i needed to hear that from someone.

Comment

I'm not sure how long you are waiting to get up, but wait 20 minutes after you think she's asleep. My DD does this too, and if I wait 20 mins she usually will go an hour before she notices I'm gone lol

Yes, i usually wait for 20 minutes but most of time she is up immediately or in 15-20 min. I'll keep trying. I'm glad it's working for you