The final six! The final six, by god! I’m told that it was one year ago THIS WEEK that the great Constantine Maroulis was voted off in a SHOCKING turn of events. Pffffft.

TONIGHT – it’s Andrea Bocelli and some producer/songwriter guy we all should admire named David Foster. Okay, and finally they explain to me who Bocelli is. He has some wicked crazy stage show where guys holding fire sticks leap from Romanesque architecture into the wine dark sea! And he knows Celine Dion. And…okay, I hate to admit to being an uncultured swine, but am I the only one who hasn’t heard of this dude? Who listens to this guy, the same people who buy Yanni records?

The contestants utterly fail to sing scales with Yann…I mean, Bocelli, so his evil sidekick Foster LASHES into everyone and absolutely kills them over it. Both of these guys are jackasses.

Katharine will sing “I Have Nothing” and I expect this to be good. She holds her own in a little harmony with Bocelli. WOW she looks beautiful tonight. It’s a yellow dress and woooooooo-weeee that is great. She sounds incredible on the low range that so many of these contestants lack. Her high notes give me chills and she sings with real passion. Did I just see up her dress? Katharine seemed to realize the unintentional upskirt and falters for a moment. All of the judges say she oversang and there with pitch problems and I guess Katharine is the new object of the judges’ collective hate. Idiots. Did Seacrest just tell Katharine she’ll get votes from those who had the volume turned down?! What a prick! This is an outrage.

Elliott has “A Song For You” by Donnie Hathaway (I think), whom I’ve never heard of. Foster is like some overzealous eighth-grade music teacher and wants to push Elliott’s envelope. I hate this guy. Elliott’s vocals are nice as usual. He’s good, but I’m still not a fan. There was kind of an awkward moment in the middle when he was mugging for the crowd. It looked like he forgot his cue. OMG THERE’S KEVIN NEALON IN THE CROWD! Randy hated the arrangement but loved Elliott’s singing. Paula: “You…move…me…celebrate…first started…handsome…evolved…” and she’s literally in tears. What the hell? Simon laughs her to scorn but agrees the performance was “superb.”

Kellie affirms “ah’m lonelee!” Whatever happened to her affair with Katharine? She wants to re-enact the pottery scene from Ghost with someone and therefore, she’s going to sing “Unchained Melody.” Whew, this one ought to be a stinker. It’s tonight’s sit down performance and Bocelli’s role is…what…again? This is pretty lame. Lots of flat notes and dogs start howling outside my house when she hits the shockingly bad high note. Randy found it very strange. Paula says she doesn’t see Kellie raising the bar. Simon: “That deserved tears, but for a very different reason.” Heh. I think that’s the first time the judges have been honest with Kellie.

Paris will attempt Streisand’s “The Way We Were.” Bocelli thinks Paris is spectacular. Paris thinks this is a good song for her because it reminds her of…LISPsomethingLISP. She’s back to the flippy hairdo. This song only reminds me of Paris’ young age. Screeeech! Screeeech! What was that cough/puff thing she did before the final note? The judges are not impressed.

Taylor is “veeeerrrryyyy eeeeenteresting” according to Bocelli. I’m suddenly picturing Artie Johnson in a German helmet. “Just Once” will show Taylor’s charisma, Foster asserts. Taylor is compelling and cool, but this is not his best performance. Lots of flat spots and the song went downhill the whole way. The big notes are good. Why does Taylor’s face look fat tonight? Randy: “I didn’t get it.” Simon calls it a hotel lounge performance and in mid-sentence, Paula stands and starts ranting incoherently. She totally hijacks Simon’s comments, and he’s pissed. Bad outing from Taylor.

Finally here’s Chris to sing BRYAN ADAMS?! Finally, that barrier is CROSSED! Just kidding. Ugh – it’s going to be “Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman,” which Bocelli notes has an awkward title, and that’s the only worthwhile thing he’s done all night. Then he convinces Chris to lie on the floor and use the diaphragm. A few chicks in the audience squeal for that one. He gets the mariachis to accompany him and he really puts himself into the performance. I just realized how much more powerful Chris’ voice (in terms of volume and reach) than that of the other contestants. This is a really good performance and he’s showing his versatility. He steps to the front of the stage and brings it. Good stuff. He’ll probably win this thing now that Ace’s fans will be on his side. All of the judges loved it and thought it was great.

What a lackluster show. When are they going to get some relevant musicians? When are the themes going to have some pizzazz, like Queen night? Time for some changes.

In the interest of time, and the complete lack of interest I have in typing my thoughts of the night...I'll just run down how I ranked the 6 tonight.

1. Elliott 2. Katharine3. Chris4. Paris5. Taylor||||||||6. Kellie (I knew as soon as she said which song she was gonna sing Simon was gonna tear into her, with that being one of his most favorite songs, but he ripped into her hard.

Bottom 3, Paris, Taylor & Kellie, with Kellie going home, although I wouldn't be surprised if Elliott gets in the bottom three yet again. But Kellie is the only one by far who deserves to go home this week.

Katherine – I thought her trying to sing this song was ambitious and not very smart. Listening to her new arrangements made me long for the original. Wasn’t into it, but I did get a kick out of her popping a button and flashing her panties… but that’s just me. I also realized that she’s the only person in the group who has ever had any formal training and that’s where a lot of her perceived arrogance comes from…

Elliot – Singing one of my most favorite love songs ever… I thought he did a beautiful job and did vote for him last night… Well, I tried to, but the busy signal hindered me. Definitely a good sign.

Kellie – How can you go up a sing that Simon has declared his favorite song and screw it up like that? David Foster’s advice came off as sabotage- Not that I’m a fan of hers. Nice of her to entice the horny little teen boys by declaring that she doesn’t have a boyfriend… We all needed to know that.

Paris – Definitely was channeling Gladys Knight. It was beautifully done, but the song is sooooo boring and didn’t connect with anyone.

Taylor – Wasn’t into it. He started off wrong and it lingered there. I love his talent, but when he isn’t into the song, I’m not into it either. I just kept thinking that he looked like a stood up groom in that suit.

Chris – Ending the show—AGAIN!! I love the original, so I liked how he stayed true to himself and sang the original arrangement. Nice touch by adding the mariachis. He’s still true to himself and I like that. He was good.

The bottom three SHOULD be: Taylor, Kellie & KathrynBut America hates me and their bottom three will probably be: Paris, Elliot & Kathryn

Kat - when are Idol contestants ever going to learn that you should never ever pick a Whitney Houston, Mariah ("Dawg, I worked with Mariah")Carey or Celine Dion song ? The judges will kill you no matter how well you sing....that said, Kat looked great and sang the song really well....and Kat sings Opera too and yes, I have McFeever...

Elliott -Where was all this judge love coming from and who's medication did Paula scarf down this evening ? MSNBC reported this morning that She & Seacrest are having a behind the scenes feud - but back to Elliott - sounded fine but wasn't great - like I said on Song Book night - he can make some coin doing this genre.

Kellie - what is that growing out of the center of your hair ? She hits the high note and the raccoon moves out of my attic, mice flee the basement and today I will play it over & over again outside to see if it can get rid of the woodpecker too. Even her review/vote clip has her killing the high note. For the 2nd week in a row she butchers her song and knows it. She is this year's Nikki McKibben - no real talent but a fanatic southern voting bloc - she should go home.

Paris - she plays dress up as Dionne Warwick this week and gives us some Babs - not bad but not great and certainly unbelievable but then again if Renee Olstead of Still Standing (amazon.com) can sell records in this genre and at the same age then Paris can too. Her fans are still going to have to step up.

Taylor - He needs the Soul Patrol - that performance barely had enough for the review/vote clip at the end.

Chris - I'm not a fan but that was very well done. Now he just needs your calls & text messages.....

My Bottom 3 - Kellie, Taylor, Paris but Kellie & Taylor are safe due to the fanatics who back them

America's Bottom 3 - Paris, Elliott & Katharine with Paris saying good-bye only because I don't think she has the bloc of voters to pull her through

I realize he has the credentials to back it up, but for a moment I was pretty worried Foster would be crushed under the weight of his own pomposity.

Also here's a nice tidbit from the MSNBC article on the Paula/Ryan feud:

Originally posted by MSNBC.comAny tension between the "Idol" host and judge might have come after their separate appearances on "The Tonight Show."

In Seacrest's March 30 guest spot, host Jay Leno joked about Abdul's "loopy" behavior in an "Idol" episode, to which Seacrest replied: "Well, have you listened to her album?"

And when Leno playfully asked whether Abdul had been drinking alcohol, Seacrest said, "Hey look, I don't look in their cups to see what's sitting before them on that table. But at times I feel like we have reeled her in."

During her April 10 appearance, Abdul shot down rumors that Seacrest was dating "Desperate Housewives" star Teri Hatcher.

"He only kisses the mirror," Abdul said. "And honestly, do you think Teri Hatcher is that desperate of a housewife?"

Aw c'mon. Foster and Andrea get a million billion stars in my book for the following exchange:

(on The Pickler)Foster: Andrea, what color is her hair?Andrea: (not missing a beat) Blonde!

Kat got HOUNDED by the judges, when I think it was one of her best performances yet -- the first time I really think she's put true feeling into the performance.

Elliott -- Elliott had a "moment" tonight with the first part of his song. He started singing and I shot up on the couch. His voice -- he had 100% confidence in his performance for the first time in months and it showed. He tapered off towards the end, but this was enough to sell me on him as He Who Should Win This Competition (more on that in a minute).

Taylor -- he keeps getting worse and worse. I love the guy, but his performances are starting to tank.

The Pickler -- dude, WTF was up with her shiz-tu hairdo? She totally looked like a little yippie dog. Her butchering the song was entertaining to listen to. And yet, I doubt she'll go home tonight -- for some reason America loves her.

Paris -- her problem is twofold: She can't sing low and she can't sing soft. Combine the two and you get a horrible Babs performance with redeeming qualities in the end. And yes, that hiccup note at the end was BADBADBAD.

Chris -- Another great performance from him. He has been the most consistent performer out of everyone, bar none. However, I do NOT want to see him winning the competition. Why? Go listen to Bo Bice's album. Go ahead, I'll wait here. . . . . . back? Why did they give a man who was BORN to do southern rock Clay Aiken's leftover material? Is that what they think Bo should have done? And if that's what they think Bo should be doing, what the hell are they going to give Chris when it comes album time? He needs to lose now, so he can sign up with a AmIdol-approved band and ROCK THE F**K OUT.

As for my Elliott reasoning? Elliott's biggest problem is his nerves, IMHO. You take away his nerves, get him into a comfort zone, and he's got some PIPES. He can take his time in the studio, as long as he needs to. McPhee at best is Clarkson lite, Paris at best is Fantasia lite, Kellie's a friggin joke, Chris I've already discussed. That leaves Taylor. The problem is, there's two Taylors: The "Drunk Dad" Taylor Hicks, and the "Taylor Hicks Band" Taylor Hicks. You can go to taylorhicks2006.com and listen to some of the music off his indy album -- it's a LOT like the "21st century" song he's performed already. America does not want the "real" Taylor Hicks -- they want the drunk dad one. So when they buy his album, expecting drunk dad, and get THB -- they'll be rather upset methinks. Sides, Taylor's going to release more albums no matter what. But Elliott -- I think with the full muscle of the AmIdol machine behind him, he could produce a fantastic album.

Kat - Wow, she can sing opera, boy THAT'LL bring in the votes!!! Whoo, does this chick have any clue? Really? She sings a Whitney song, knowing the judges are gonna rail on her for not being Whitney and she has no clue how to play to the audience for votes. Hell Pickler seems like a genuis at this point compared to her. And she showed emotion? Which emotion? When she looked serious for two seconds and then would smile and give a little wave? "I'm serious, this is LUUUUV....HEY how are you, great to see you...SERIOUS LUUUUUUUUV" Her little muggy faces are taking away from her performances. I know, I know I'm obsessing.

Elliott - I love his voice and he did good but it did not move me to tears. Ok stuff. They need to not let him sit down because he slouches and then the one squinty eye comes out and he looks like a cross between a pirate and quasimodo. I feel bad cause he's so good and he's not gonna win.

Kellie - Well she should be totally gone after that. Even Paula didn't have nice stuff to say for once. My main question is if she goes, who gets all those votes she was receiving, because that could determine the eventual winner here.

Paris - Wow, boring song. I wish she would fully say the words to the music. She tends to skip the beginning or end of them. She was already disliked it seems, so she may be the one going home.

Taylor - I actually liked this one, but wow was that suit something.....I think I'll go with horrendous. Yeah, that's about right. I don't go into hotel bars and lounges much or ever really so I was not familiar with this song.

Chris - If he's even in the bottom three I give up on the voters. Jesus is this guy a star. I don't know if he can win, but he damn sure should.

We actually had time to watch it just now. It is almost 7:00 PM on Wednesday, so here it is from 6 to 1 (best to worst).

6. Chris - I was afraid he was going to go Nickelback on us.

5. Katharine - I thought it was a nice job. I have a feeling the West Coast vote goes her way (Only Westerner left).

4. Elliott - Same here.

3. Taylor - Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

2. Paris - A little slow for me.

1. Kellie - The song just wasn't good, and why did it have to start in the middle.

I just did not know what I was watching. Kind of like Bizzaro Idol. Randy was being negative, Paula was actually using constructive criticism, Simon...at least it was the usual. Also, whoever that was talking...turn off your mike or stop talking during the recap. Also, with David Foster just ripping on them during practice. No butt-kissing here. Bocelli...Actually pretty funny there.

So, to recap...time to get the Kleenex at 8:28 PM Central. You have the two "criers" at the end, with Kellie leaving. Could be an emotional "Bad Day" tonight.

David Foster needs to watch his own kids after their Simple-Life wannabe reality show.

Even if it is just a publicity stunt, Seacrest can do better than Teri Hatcher.

Katherine - she'd get my vote. She's way hotter than Kellie. Love the dig at Whitney saying that song was originally sung by Whiney "at her prime" as opposed to Whitney singing in her current drug-induced state. The third time the judges criticize her for song choices, she should counter with: "Instead of making me guess, why don't you just tell me what the fuck you want me to sing?"

Paris should also be told she can't hold a candle to Barbara's version of that slow, boring song.

I thought the grey-haired guy was the best. He did a good version of the James Ingrim song.

If my office has any bearing on reality, Chris is going to win by a landslide. The chicks go crazy for him and even my boss has a mancrush on him.

I called it!!! I need the Mr. Six/Six Flags music to start dancing. Kellie, IMO, was probably the most fun finalist I have seen in the three years of watching the program. Music-wise, I'm happy she's out, but will never be missed. It was funny with her talking and talking and then, CUT!!! And with no singout too. LOL!!! Usually, the bootee goes on Leno on Thursday, just after the monologue and before the first commercial. I'm sure Jay will have a ball with Kellie. I'm sure Paris will go next week. I was surprised the last two did not need the Kleenex for once at the end. Also, get rid of Taylor before the final two, please!!!

Bocelli - Great job as usual. I was actually pretty tense before watching, because I know the strange things that can happen. That song called me down for the rest of the show. David Foster - Hey, probably the most honest of any guest coach/judge that I have ever seen.

Pimpmercial - Loved the dogs.

The only thing that bothered me, the remixed, slower, piano-only "Bad Day." The one thing I could not wait for every Wednesday, and they have this? I had to listen to the "KISS 103.5" station in the Chicago area, which plays "Temperature" every hour, and I don't intend to listen to that much, even though I put it as a preset in the car, to wait for the true song to come on. It only took until 9:00 Central. You can tell that I am really digging into the song, instead of hearing the "funeral march type" songs we have heard in the past. Now, the song usually comes on when I'm driving to work every Thursday on WLIT 93.9, usually around 7:30 AM Central. Flip to that, flip to another channel to hear what a couple of guys thought of the last bootee.

Looking at another site, Nigel said that next week is 1) Song of the Year They Were Born, and 2) Song on this week's Billboard Charts. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Just when I'm listening to that "KISS" station, they have this week's Billboard Chart songs on, just when I have a few days off.

No tears from Kellie at the end as she babbled her way out of the competition. I am sure that soon after the American Idol Top 10 Summer Tour is over we will see Ms. Pickler gracing the pages of Maxim, Stuff or FHM......and like I said in the Top Chef thread, she is destined for the Surreal Life House with Stephen......

Was stunned by the judge's apology to Kat led by Simon's apology.....the top 2 vote getters are the 2 that we should see in the May Finale....

So I'm obsessing, and reading over some threads about song choice for this week. Looking at the birth year songs I have a few that I'm thinking ohhhh they should do that, but they probably won't anyway.

I'm thinking, and no I have zero clue why I would like this by the way, that Kat should be singing Holding Out For A Hero. Maybe I could get behind her on that one just for a fun time. Or not. At least it wouldn't be a slow song. (rumor has it she's singing some Black Horse and the Cherry Tree song for her current song. Never heard of it.)

Paris - Pink Cadillac? She could do that. Though since she's the likely one to go home she should just whip out Sweet Child O'Mine. What the hell. Christ she was born that year? God damnit this is depressing. Rumor again is she's doing Kiss by Prince, which really should be just as silly as a Guns and Roses song by her. And I saw Every Time We Touch as her current song maybe.

Chris - eh, hard to say but I think Old Time Rock and Roll from that list would be ok for him. Simple but the crowd would be into it. I think he's doing Right Here Waiting for his current song. These rumors were totally off a week ago, so I don't know why I'm wasting my time. Oh wait, cause I'm bored at work, right forgot.

Elliott - Only the Good Die Young. Come Elliott, bring it. Rumored to do So Sick for his current song.

Taylor - could anything be more appropriate than Disco Duck? Ok, I know I'm only going for comedy or fun, not singing style or voices on these, but come on. Still Crazy could work maybe. Little slow though for him. Rumored to be doing Who Says You Can't Go Home by Bon Jovi(they still write new stuff?)

edit - somewhat confirmed actual songs, that in very few ways match what was previously rumored: