The working day had ended and a familiar stabbing pain pulsed through my head. Instinctively I drew the curtains of my bedroom and popped a few pills to try and stave off the oncoming waves of pain. Oscar always seems to know when they hit and doesn't push too much for any walks. I was just sick of this. Weeks and weeks of them. Whilst I could cope with the pain it's the few days of complete exhaustion afterwards that always seemed to make me feel emotionally worse. Still, I would not give in. There were times when I wanted to close down my business and times when I was so tired I didn't know my arse from my elbow and I could feel it. A lingering black on the edges of my day to day life. Not a depression as such, more an invitation to renounce any and all responsibility for my life. I know it sounds weird when I talk about it like this but that really is what it feels like. I got stuck in a pattern of being tired so much that I started whining intentionally and emotionally just checking out, even when I had the internal resources to show up. Victim hood is a part of all of us and if you deny then you're most likely knee deep in it as we speak. There are times when we all need a good moan but if that's how you start your day then you're in trouble. Thankfully I have this weird little sign between me and the Universe when I get off track in that manner. Whenever I allow myself to sink into victim hood, even if it has a legitimate cause I always start to manifest bullies into my life.

It's weird. I'll get a mean client ring me up or a horrible person will cross my path. It's like the Universe joins in. If I'm going to disrespect my own energy then that's what shows up at my door, sometimes literally. It's the basis of the Universe, like attracts like, if I am going to betray my energy by acting as if I am at the mercy of all the ravages of the world then of course that's what shows up. Victim hood is the energetic infantilisation of your spirit. You are literally rejecting the idea that your life if your own. I firmly believe that there is always something you can do in any situation. I am also an advocate of complete, energetic, personal responsibility. Now unfortunatley we live in a culture right now where sadly the opposite tends to be exhaulted. In our attempt to help people who are legitimately in need of help we so often trip up on our own compassion and fall head first into our own entitlement. We sweep the rug out from under those that need help by fostering a stunted mindset. It's just another way that the ego creates a heirarchy. I try my best at every turn to see every human being for the powerful, empowered manifestational boss that they are. You may not be able to do everything you need or want to do right this very minute but you can start small. I really do think that no matter where you are, no matter how dark things seem, that there is always something you can do to improve the situation.

Your life is on your shoulders. No one is coming to save you. It is up to you to ask for help. It is up to you to effectively communicate your needs. It is up to you to seek and find wonder in the world around you. Fatigue, depression, heartache, these are just a few of the experiences I've had that I've had to learn to find the light inside of. It's not been easy and I know I can't really delve into it in a three paragraph blog but I can let you know that my life didn't change until I decided it had to. Some days the only thing I could do to improve my life was make a list of things I wanted to do. Some days it was have a shower and eat something. Step by step, decision by decision I started to get a handle on my energy and soon enough I found my way. Sometimes I have to find my way again, but it always starts and ends with me. What am I going to do? Ask and it is given. Karma. Dharma. Law of attraction. However your phraze it there is something in the Universe that responds to the energy you allow within your own body. So with that in mind, what are you allowing? What decision do you need to make? Where do you want to be? Decide now, sometimes that's enough.

The moving date finally happened! So, in just under 2 weeks I shall be gone from this house and I shall be starting a slightly new chapter! Sitting here this morning looking out over the sea and writing I don't feel any regrets leaving this place behind. I have loved it here and I will love passing it on to the next person who hopefully will enjoy these walls as much as I have. Everything I love about living here I will have in the next place because location wise I'm not going that far, the only real wrench is going to be losing the view but the new place is actually closer to the beach so I think I will be spending more time with sand between my toes. Also, I'm technically swapping a view of the bay for a view of brynmill park so it really is splitting hairs! I think because I'm so sensitive to energy movements I always find moving house more impactful than it probably should be but I know that this is the right move. I received the intuition and was told to go and I knew that I had to listen. When you ask for a sign to make doubly, tripply sure you got it right and then keep dreaming that all of mount pleasant is on fire then that's just an extra bit of a nudge. I'm eager to see what the new place brings in terms of energy though!

It's weird watching my resistance flare up though. I really am flitting between moments of excitement and fear. This happens whenever we create something that is good for us. I think I told you the story before that on the morning I was due to go on a date with Stuart I woke up fuming for no reason. Really, overtly angry to the point of where I almost cancelled the date and now here we are nearly 8 years later with a dog about to buy our second house together! It's important to acknowledge the difference between your emotional feelings and your intuitive ones. Emotionally I do feel scared to make changes that have such a big financial impact, I was scared at the beginning of the year to invest money in getting new teeth! I was scared when I went to pick up Oscar for the first time! My emotions can often be rooted in overwhelm and being a typical bloke who doesn't like too much change BUT my intuitive feelings are often the complete opposite. Right now my intuition is happy, my intuition knows all of the wonderful things that are about to unfold in my life and also knows that this is just the first step in a long list of steps that will keep me connected to the feeling of deep spiritual joy.

If I had listened to my emotions I wouldn't have done any of the things that I enjoy doing now. I wouldn't be involved with all the wonderful people that I am now. I wouldn't get to take mini breaks from writing my blog to give oscar a cuddle. Your emotions are wonderful indicators about what is going on within your heart but I don't let my heart rule my life which I know sounds weird coming from me. I let my gut take charge always or at least I aim to. I've dealt with too many disasterous consequences when I don't listen to it so even if it contradicts what I'm feeling I listen now and move on that inner voice. The spirits were right when then told me this whole house move would be an “exercise in trust” and I am grateful that I have followed it and I think the further along this journey I go the more grateful I will become! So, can you tell the difference between your emotional feelings and your intuitive ones? Meditation is a good way to draw a line between the two. Your intuition might go directly against what your feeling right now, it is the voice of absolute reason even if it doesn't make sense at the time!

Visualisation is a helpful tool in co creating your life. It can help you to line up with your own energy and explore how you are feeling about the things in your life you are currently creating. You can call it visualising, imagining or day dreaming, either way what you choose to regurgitate within your own mind will call it's equivalent to you. I used to think that visualising in and of itself was enough to create. I thought that if I thought about something enough it would imprint on my experience but, I've learned that's not the whole story. In everything we create there is an inbuilt guidance that helps us to navigate the space between what we are creating and where we are. I call that space intuition. Visualising without access to your guidance can quickly lead to a toxic environment. We've all seen people hanging onto a dream, a relationship, a job long after it's died it's own death. I've been in most of those places myself and sometimes, in spaces like that, no amount of visualizing is going to help you. I've found it's more beneficial to think about visualizing as a way to create good energy. It doesn't really matter what you are focused on within that state so long as it's lifting your heart and making you smile. This is the energy that leads to the equation of what comes back to you. That's why if you do nothing but regurgitate your old relationships in your head you are more likely to meet someone exactly like them.

Now I personally love to day dream. When I get back to my cardio this week the day dreaming whilst running is my favourite part of the process. I like to think about creative projects, ideas for paintings, characters for my books, pretty much everything that makes me feel better. Now that my foot is so close to being healed and I can start cardio again I am really looking forward to it. I prefer visualization and daydreaming as a form of active meditation. If I scrap book, make mood boards, exercize, these things tend to help me access the feeling place of where I want to be more easily because I am already in an active space within my own body. Give it a go. Wherever you exercize or create in your life put a mood board there, put your list of things you are creating there as a way to remind yourself to dwell in a better feeling place. It's so easy to slip into a habit of thinking about past hurts and pain and I am fully aware that sometimes it's essential to do so. I am not demonising thinking about your past. I am just saying to use your inner guidance to know whether you are back there to resolve and fix something or whether you are just there out of habit.

Guidance is essential when you are creating a better life for yourself and on some level we are all doing that all of the time. We are all working towards something that feels better for us. The more you root yourself in your own sense of guidance the easier you will be able to recognise what energy within you is creating what is around you. I see so many people create and recreate the same relationships, the same jobs over and over again causing themselves huge distress mainly because they haven't allowed their energy to move beyond thinking about or reacting to an initial experience. I thought about my first heart break so much when I was younger than I met him in several incarnations throughout my twenties. Once I moved my thought processes on I allowed the full expansion of who I had become as a result of learning those lessons and then I started to meet up with people who were more on my level which eventually lead to me meeting my Stu! I changed a thought habit, which expanded a better feeling place, which lifted my energy and I called in everything that was on that level. It sounds so simple when you put it like that and it can be but that doesn't take away from the day to day process of getting there. Give a try for 30 days. When you catch yourself dwelling, move your thoughts so something that lifts you and watch what changes!

You can't shake a stick in the self help genre without stumbling over the idea of affirmations, which, if you do happen to be new to all of this, is the idea of repeating a positive statement over and over again until you believe it to be true. It's the principle that if you don't love who you are then saying it over and over again can help you convince yourself. I know it sounds a bit suss but stay with me. You are the first person to hear any words coming out of your mouth. You hold the vibration of them in your body and you carry them around. Now I personally don't think the words themselves do the damage because I think that language is a benign construct. It's how those words are used and the intention behind them that gives them their context and therefore their power. I have given nearly enough everything a go with it comes to affirmations and for me languaging something more positively does help. I don't see it as a cure though. I don't think repeating something over and over again helps you to make it true but I do think it can be a key to unlock an inner dialogue to get you to a better feeling place.

For me, just saying the opposite of something will just end up making me more frustrated. When I don't feel worthy, just repeating, “I am worthy!” doesn't help because I know that's not what I'm feeling at that moment and I have a lingering attachment to emotional honesty that I can't quite shift. So, instead, I say things like, “I am looking forward to the moment I feel worthy again.”. It sounds so simple and it's so silly but it really works for me. “I am looking forward to...” and fill in the blank. I am looking forward to feeling better about money. I am looking forward to feeling so in love with my soul mate that I could jump up and down on the spot. I am looking forward to being able to travel where I want, when I want. You get the idea. I find that instead of trying to jump to a space that doesn't feel honest for me that if I take small steps there then I get there faster. “I'm looking forward to,” disassociates me from my present state, acknowledges the energy of where I am going and also leaves room for me to feel excited about it. I see it as an invitation to moving energy in a better direction.

Using language and relanguaging the world has always been a powerful tool to move me out of a negative space. As soon as I have a handle on where I am I use the energy and context of language to move me to a place of letting go so that I can rise to where I want to be. Another little tip to help you with this is to try and write it down. I have a small notebook I keep with me and if I catch myself actualising a thought, an energy or a feeling that isn't helping me then I find a place to start scribbling away until I feel better again. I am looking forward to. I am open to. I am eager to begin feeling. Find a version of this that works for you but don't pretend that it's working if it isn't. Really find a way to language the world that has a resonance with how you are actually feeling. This isn't about faking a good feeling or thought in the hope that one day it will just show up. This a gentle way to ease yourself into a better feeling place by acknowledging that there is a next step to take in order to get out of it. Sometimes just knowing that there is a way out is enough to help you move in that direction. You can do this!

“Think positive” is a word that's thrown around in my profession a lot. Like, really, a lot. But let's be honest, when your life is falling apart in your hands slapping a smile over it, faking it till you make it or trying to muster up some good thoughts isn't always the easiest way to deal with the situation. Also positive is a relative term. We all just want to grow and experience more good feelings than bad. For the last 3 days I've had a horrible chest infection. This whole thing was a bit of a shock because I never get sick. I get the occasional migraine but in the last 10 years I don't think I've had a cold or a flu. Now some of my older clients ( as in length of time coming to see me ! ) will remember that I had a lung operation in my late teens, to stop my lungs from repeatedly collapsing, so, I always have a mindful awareness of anything chesty that circulates around my body. Now during the last three days I turned into a snot nosed, sweaty, grotty mess and if someone had told me “think positive” I doubt that it would have had any effect on where I was or on how I was feeling. But that doesn't mean that I didn't reach for the better feeling place. Sometimes that meant wrapping myself up in a blanket, sometimes that meant a short walk to get some air in my lungs, sometimes it meant hot drinks and having a good moan at Stuart ( that poor boy ).

I think that when we are free from learned habits that we naturally gravitate towards what is best for us or at the very least what feels better for us in the moment. If we stopped trying to think positive and started to think intuitively, which is to follow the wisdom of the body, then I think that we would start to feel better more regularly. I think that once we start to move in the direction of what is better for us both in mind and body then creating a positive energy within us is inevitable. Now I do think that we are responsible for what we think and that it's O.K to recognise that you are thinking negatively but, it's also O.K to recognise that you are finding it difficult to think in a better way at the moment too. That's really O.K. Take the pressure off! You don't have to have it all done straight away. Just pick a better feeling place. Sometimes that feeling place is within you, sometimes it's not. Instead of holding yourself hostage to the mantra of thinking positively, why not try asking yourself the question, “What can I do to make myself feel better in this instant?”.

Creating a better feeling life, a more authentic life is not just about finding the right mindset or the right spiritual practice. It's about a million little steps and choices that you make along the way. Find what works for you, create a better feeling place within yourself however you can. Don't try to rush to the finish line because there isn't one. Right now you have a whole day ahead of you to do what you want with. You have life coursing through you and expressing itself all over the place. If you stop trying to think positively and start to think more authentically and make small choices daily towards doing what feels good you'll probably wake up one day and find yourself thinking “positively” anyway! Just go moment by moment. Reach for the best feeling available to you right now and then repeat that as often as you can. Go for a coffee with a friend, give your dog a big smooch, buy yourself or a friend an unexpected gift, just take a small step and you'll get where you need to be in no time!

I'm just going to say it, Christmas is coming. I know, I know, I know it's November but let's be real. If you have kids or are just a big kid yourself then you will be prepared in some way. Personally this is the only year in a long time where I don't quite know what to plan or what to do because we are still waiting on a date to move house. I hope I'm in before the tree goes up. I remember saying to Stuart last year that I wasn't sure whether we would be here this Christmas and I think I might be cutting it fine. This weekend we are doing more packing and getting ready. I'm at the point now where I just want to go. I am eager to settle in to my new art space, my new readings space and to get to know the trees that are on my front doorstep ( brynmill park ). I have already planned things to decorate the house with like a penny wall ( google that it looks lovely ) and a pallet wall ( also awesome ). I want to hit a wall through to increase the size of the bathroom and do an attic conversion, also there's a garage that has a shower and kitchen built into it so I'm not sure whether to hit it down and make a big garden space or to make it into something... either way as you can tell I'm good to go and eager to put my print on the home.

Because I work from home the space has always been important to me. Actually I don't just think it's because of that. For as far as I can remember having a place to call mine has been a huge currency for me. It's a sanctuary, a place where I can wander the walls and talk to myself ( we all do it! ). Also I like to keep the energy as mild as I can in my home. I didn't have much of a chance to do a big snoop on the day I viewed the new place but I definitely felt a spirit when I was there. I think he might be to do with the current occupiers but I'll know for sure when I move in. I felt a strong angelic precence when I moved into this house and when I first felt it I just thought it was quaint or just something lovely that happened. I've learned since then that it's more of a protective energy for myself because of the energy pool of the area. Don't get me wrong I love mount pleasant, I wouldn't have spent 20 years here if I didn't but my capacity to withstand the energetic shifts that go on up here has lessened the older I've gotten. The new place has a different energy pattern and I can't wait to figure out what it is. The only reason we bought it is because when we went in both Stuart and I had the gut feeling so I'm going to continue to follow that.

If there is a “resident spirit” there then it won't really bother me. There was one in my flat on Montpelier. It was a gentleman who used to hang around in the hallway. Some of you might remember that I put a tree filled with fairy lights and origami birds there, it wasn't just to make it look pretty, it was also to distract you from the tingly feeling on the back of the neck that he loved to give a few of my clients. He wasn't a bad guy at all and he didn't mind me doing my readings in the kitchen, he was just a bit mischevious. He didn't like my ex though and used to frighten him a fair bit, actually to the point where I had to have a word to ask him to stop! There wasn't a bad vibe in this house though, it just felt like the right balance. I'll share all the details with you when I get there. It's important to know the energy of the place that you rest your head in. It's important to spiritually cleanse the place and important to know where energy pools. I know my house has a lot of spiritual traffic but to be honest, so does most peoples, mine is just a little bit more vocal. Have you looked at the energy content of your home? A good tip to figuring out what's going on there is to imagine yourself walking through each room of your house. The mind absorbs information even if the eyes don't at the time. Let me know how it all goes!

Service is probably one of the most overlooked parts of the cultural spiritual image. When we talk about service in the self help community unfortunately we conjure white washed images of happy smiles and complex yoga poses. We don't talk enough about the courage, the conviction and sometimes the dirty work that needs to happen. It's also one of the areas where, if you don't have a good grounding and awareness of any people pleasing hiccups in your energy then you can easily lose yourself down a service themed rabbit hole. I figured out years ago that I am just as happy for someone else's success as I am my own. Few things make me cry easily but watching someone get something that they really want is one of them. I love seeing the completion of manifestations in someone's life so, as a young man I put two and two together and came out with five. I thought that I would invest in helping other people achieve their dreams. Sounds like a good idea right? The crappy part was that I did it at the expense of my own happiness and when you bring a giving mindset to the table you will always attract those willing to take.

So the question becomes how do you help those around you without losing your mind? How do you step into a place where you are of real value to the light within yourself and honour the souls you encounter without costing yourself any energy? I only started to ask myself these questions after years of cyclical exhaustion. I know this feels familiar to some of you. It's why we keep running ourselves down all the time. We mistake service for people pleasing. It's so easy to do, I get it but until you start your service with serving the self you will always stumble into it. My first act of service is self care. I make sure that I am energetically ready to stay in a space of light around other human beings. It doesn't always work, that's just life. We can all be irritated into irrational states of mind but if you approach the day in that way then you're already on a losing streak. Make sure that you are as aware of how you feel as you can be before you start your day because that will help you to protect yourself from losing energy.

The easiest way to tell the difference between service and people pleasing is to acknowledge the moments when you are betraying yourself. Whilse service may ask you to compromise your time, location or assets it will never require you to behave outside your moral compass. People pleasing is when you are running around looking after someone in FULL knowledge that they can do it for themselves but are choosing not to and you know you are enabling them. Service will make you tired but happy tired. People pleasing will exhaust you and then still ask for more. If you find yourself in a cycle of people pleasing then I have good news! The way to stop it is something you already have within your posession, the capacity to say “No.”. Firm, respectful, love centred, no. Remember that you are of greatest service to the Universe when you are filled with love. You are of greatest use when you take care of yourself first. It is then when the Universe in her infinite intelligence can guide you more readily into a space of cocreating miracles because that really is what we are here to do. You were born to make miracles happen and you have everything you need to get there.

There is this mythical creature that all of us in the self help world have heard of. She sniffs around the corners of everyones life. Like a unicorn or a mermaid she is spoken of but never really seen. Her name is...balance. Like, really. Balance in the way it is currently presented to us is nothing other than a maniacal attack on time management. Pizza slicing your life in a way that it is supposed to be easily digestable is one way to go about creating the image of balance but life has always and will always get in the way. Balance for me is more about following my gut. If I were to really fit in everything I want to do every day then my day would need to be 3 weeks long. Readings, music, art, writing, poetry, walking the dog, fitness, dates with my fiance, self care, family time, friendships, there's just no way you can fit all of that into a day. Balance as it is sometimes displayed would have you believe otherwise. We are seeking an image of success, an image of happiness and most of the time we don't understand that we already have all of those things. But the ever enticing keys to unlock a happy and successful life is always portrayed as someone who has found balance.

So what is balance for you? Have you found yourself searching for something that is just not attainable? I have to remind myself fairly regularly that the only real balance that needs to be achieved is between listening to my gut and acting upon it. Still, in the moments in between that I always find myself adding way too much to my daily list as a means to touch base with everything that I am interested in. To be honest most days I actually do manage to achieve it but the test for me in knowing whether I am chasing my tail or being productive is in the mood I feel when I don't get to tick things off my list. If I feel frustration or irritation towards myself then I know that I am trying to work towards an external image of balance, if I feel blaze about the whole thing then I know it just wasn't the day for it and that's ok. Now I've said to you all before I always like to put a few extra things on my daily to do list because it generally inspires me to get more done but it's when that list feels burdensome I know I have side stepped into the energy of my ego. It's good to acknowledge and create little tests for yourself sometimes to see where you are in relationship to your own energy.

When it comes to the topic of trying to find balance within your own life I suggest for the most part you just light a match to it and let the whole idea go. Balance will mean different things at different points in your life. For instance when there is a new baby in your life balance means literally doing what is necessary to provide this new life with what it needs. The whole work/life balance idea has a whole different set of ideals but really, at the end of the day when you check in with yourself, if you feel connected, grounded and self loving then that is the balance you are seeking. Are you happy with your day? Are you loving yourself? Are you following guidance from the Universe? These are the sorts of questions that bring you to the nucleus of balance. Invest a little time in that today and see where it takes you!

Today is the pagan new years eve, its reportedly the point in the year where the veil between the living and the dead is thinnest. It's a time to honour those who have passed over and engage in a more reciprical conversation. In terms of just chatting to spirits it's just another Tuesday for me but the amount of people praying, chanting and calling on the other side does create a few little nifty quirks in the energy map of the day. Nothing negative really, just busy. I kind of like it being extra chatty to be honest and the openness at this time of the year makes my job a little easier. But it is important to recognise that the old pagans knew a thing or two about the energy climate of our planet. This is a very strong time to reset your energy if you feel like you've been going off course which, to be honest seems to be true of so many people this year. Now that the planets have chilled out we are all a little dazed and confused about why the last 8 months were so intense. Don't fret, the worst is definitely over and just in time for us to have a little help from the Universe to rebrand our energetic identity.

This last week or two I have recommitted to my yoga and meditation practice and I am so grateful that I followed my gut and did it. I think I just got a little complacent about the whole thing at a time when I should have been more focussed on it. Even only after two weeks I have more energy, more focus and more mental real estate to get things done. I just feel better and it's very much a case of “psychic, read thyself!”. I'm also starting to feel more and more playful with the energy and people around me and have instantly seen a shift in my interactions. It's been like opening a door to meet someone who you havent' seen in a while but doing it within your own energy. The fact that I'm having so much fun at the moment helps me to see just how little I was having. I also feel like it's a tipping point, like no matter what manifests I can't let myself get too down the garden path and away from a good giggle. I have a tendancy to take everything a little too seriously and in doing so I disconnect from the Joy of my day to day. It's a cyclical thing and it's totally normal to move away from joy and then rediscover it again in a brand new way. Each time you come back to it you realise you've spent less and less time away.

Now it's easy when you rediscover your joy to spend time trawling back over your experience to figure out where you went off course but I would like to kindly advise that in this case you don't do that. Maybe instead figure out ways how to keep the joy you have in your life expanding. Because of the energetic reset it is more beneficial to spend time focussing on the love that you have available to you so that it more easily perpetuates throughout the coming year. Focus on the eager anticipation of figuring out your life's path instead of the judgement of not being where you want to be. Focus on the love you have for your children instead of the chaos of their youth. Focus on a body that mostly works instead of the illness or “niggly” ache. Do what you can today to laugh, have fun and totally invest in positive momentum. I know that for some of you it might be a little challenging but it can be done. I believe in you! Now go have a great halloween, eat plenty of candy and thoroughly enjoy yourself!

As you all know by now I don't just do readings. I also write, paint, journal and make music. Creativity and spirituality for me are bedfellows. I like to begin and end my day on something creative to keep my mind open and ready to think through any situation that might arise. Creativity is meditation for me. It's mindfulness. It's an open door to a better feeling place. For years I was told that I had to pick one thing and just like it or lump it. It began in school where you had to choose between art, music and drama. You were not allowed to do all three. When I moved schools there was no humanities programs there are all so anything creative was off the table. But that idea of singularly picking out one thing to do followed me through college and University. The idea that I had to choose just one thing to focus on in order for it to become something is an idea that has taken me years to dismantle. Each time I chose something I would always feel like I was cutting off an arm or something. It was as if mentally there was no room in my life to do all of them let alone psychic work on top of that. I was also pulled into the idea that if it's not earning you money then it's not valid. I fully believed that REAL artists earn from their work. I couldn't have been more wrong.

Art is mandatory for my well being and I suspect yours too. Human beings by nature make things more beautiful than they need to be. When people tell me that they are not creative I never quite believe it. If there's carpet in your home, pictures on the walls, trinkets that help you create a feeling of connection then that is creativity. For so many people their home is their canvas and I love that, I just don't think that it has to stop there. Now I'm not saying you should all run to art school but that's O.K. If you want to, but why not take up a creative hobby? Why not paint, draw, jounral, write stories, pick up an instrument? No one has to see what you are doing. No one has to judge what you are creating. It is a completely internal journey that you are entitled to take. When I tell people to make art the first thing they come up against is an ingrained shame. The idea that because they might not be technically skilled at the very beginning or if they have deemed themselves untalented that they somehow don't have the right to even play. YOU have the right to give it a go. You have the right to sit there with whatever you enjoy creating and do it for no other reason than it brings you pleasure.

The only creative problem I ever come up against is time management. I want to be able to fit everything in all at once! I draw every single day, I play piano every single day, I write every single day. If I don't do it for a few days I start to feel really off. It's like the world loses it's flavour a little bit. Yes I am self employed so I get more agency with my time management and I'm not saying you have to do what I do but I would like to kindly invite you to the space where you feel you have the right to find out what art makes you tick. I've met so many artists from skilled bakers to incredible milliners. It's all up for a try so why not give it a go. Start small. Take a sketchbook on the train to work, doodle in your lunch hour, find a class locally and go once a week. You will feel better once you're involved in the creative process. It will elevate you to a better feeling place and as a wonderful side effect it will make you more intuitively open and sesitive to shifts in energy. Give it a go!

If you've been reading this blog for any length of time you'll know that I am a huge proponent of manifestation. It's the principle of Law of Attraction, that which is like unto itself is drawn. It resurfaced into popular culture recently through the video “The Secret” which is based on the work of a channel called Abraham who speaks through Esther Hicks. The information isn't anything new. Do unto others. Karma. There are many ways of speaking this Universal principle and the more I delve into it the more I am fascinated by watching it play out both in my life and the lives of those around me. It's not just positive thinking. It's not just pretending to be happy when you're not. I personally cringe when the “fake it till you make it” slogan gets thrown around. People aren't stupid and they can small a lie even if they can't fully language it straight away. Manifestation is about languaging love. Love at it's nucleus contains honesty and it's the authenticity of who you are that will help you to create the things that you want. Manifestation is sold to so many through being able to create flashy cars, lots of cash and a holiday lifestyle but a HUGE component of that was left out. It's the part that's less marketable. It's the relationship with the energy that you are co creating with.

The Universe responds to the sum of who you are. That means everything that is happening on every level of your being is unfolding all around you. Your dreams, your goals, your wounds, your past. There are both echos of your history and future all around you and it's in creating this relationship with the divine that helps you to sort out what is needed for you to move to where you want to be. I've noticed that the older I get the less focussed my goals are. Maybe focussed isn't the right word, it's more like it would be nice if they happened but I've lived enough life to know what's really important and I'm not giving that up. I love who I am, I have access to a working healthy body and my relationships with other human beings are good, grounded and growing. Things like wanting to get my book published, having a gallery exhibtion of my art work, creating a new music album, drawing my own tarot deck, writing more books, these things I would love to do and it would bug me if they never happened but it wouldn't uproot my life. The stakes of my goals are less impactful but that's not to be confused with less important. We need things to work towards, to create.

There is a direct relationship in my life between meditation and wellness. The more I learn to cultivate inner silence the happier I become on every level of my being and as a result of that I create more wonderful things in my life. The greatest tools you'll need to manifest a life that feels good is already with you. I don't think it's healthy to block out “negative” thoughts because they can directly lead you to things that you want but inner silence can give you the ability to make sure that the negative thinking doesn't impact your life. Once you've taken the power out of it you can let it go. If this interests you pick up some books on the subject and have a read. Dive into it and see what you can discover. Remember, it's an internal journey and the more you pay attention to what you feel the more you are able to create a life that your heart can recognise!

The veil is so thin between this life and the one after. We manifest a body for a short time and we play on this planet for a bit and then when we are done we shift our awareness back to where we came from. Sometimes we incarnate over and over again, such is the thrill of living. Sometimes we incarnate laterally and inhabit many bodies at many different time periods over the course of what we call history. What is clear is that we...don't...end. Saying this is not to delegitimize grief. Of course we feel deep sadness when someone leaves the planet but what people seem to wrestle with most is resolving a truth that most of us have forgotten. That the person we have said good bye to is still in deep relationship with us. Just because they no longer inhabit bodies it doesn't mean that they love you any less, care about you any less or as someone of you have discovered in my readings been willing to give you a kick up the bum any less. When someone leaves the planet we wrestle with this weird truth all the time. We crave the physical interaction but we know deep down that we still have access to all the emotional interaction we need. It can get clouded during the darker moments but the quieter you get in your heart and spirit the louder you can hear all the kindness that surrounds you.

When you talk to people in spirit, they listen. They really do hear everything and quite often talk back. You may not hear the shape of their words but you can definitely feel the content of their love. You don't need to be a psychic to do that. If you have a pressing issue and need clarity, you can ask for them to send you a dream, a sign or to put you in alignment with the right psychic for you. Either way they are right here in this moment with you. Take your time and really digest the gravity of that understanding. That means that you never face any problem alone, it means that you never face any conflict without vast help and it also means you have access to the wealth of experience of all those who surround you. You may look like one person but you have always stood as an army of light. Sink into that truth and find ways to remind yourself of it every day. I make a point of chatting to my grandparents, a few friends who passed and a few friends I've made in spirit over the years before every reading. I know I get to hear them back but that's not really the point. Conversation isn't always verbal and in the same way as we sometimes have to learn the language, mood and intention of our pets we can learn to read the Universe and how the people we love use it as a way to get messages to us.

You are not crazy for talking to a photograph of someone you love. You are not crazy for knowing in your heart that they talk back. They are with you all day, every day. Sometimes they have jobs to do and need to take a little break, sometimes they need to heal their own spirits. You don't lose free will just because you've out lived your body. So take some time to connect or reconnect with the people who have left the planet. Light a candle, pray, remember the love that you shared and use that love as a platform to continue bringing their light to wherever you are. Over the years people have labelled what I do as an access to the “spirit world” but to be honest we're all in the “spirit world” it's just that some of us have bodies right now and others don't. It's SO close to us, like neighbours except the boundaries are not the walls of your house but the amount of love you able to withstand. Dare to love more today and welcome them in.

Self doubt is, to put it spiritually, a pain in the ass. Recently I have questioned myself more than I have in years and each time I I find myself falling into that sinkhole the Universe gives me a slight nudge to remind me to trust because that's all self doubt really is, a lack of trust I the flow of the Universe. Now it's O.K not to trust to the Universe from time to time, she has been known to bring some questionable situations to the table but throughout it all she also brings the guidance to get you through it. We all have that little voice inside of us that knows. It just knows. When you are looking at someone, something or you are somewhere that isn't right for you there is a part of you that knows. It's listening to that part that is the foundation of a spiritual practice. I was speaking with a client yesterday about the spiritual energies that have been dominant this year. I don't think anything particularly worse has happened in peoples lives but the energy has wiped out our capacity to deal with it. This exhaustion has swept over us all and now that it is starting to lift it's like the clouds are parting and we are finding outselves again. The patterns of self doubt that I have been grappling with all year I now see clearly. I think we have had a global lesson in empathy. I think for the most part we have been allowed to feel the energy content of our culture and next year will be ridiculously action based.

It's O.K to question yourself. It's O.K to critique yourself. It's not O.K to criticize and belittle and sink your self worth into the ground. Self doubt is like a fog horn in your mind saying in one way or another that who you are or what you are doing is not enough. I get it, I've lived it a lot worse than I have this year but I am fortunate in that I have a skillset to deal with it. When your mind is playing havoc with you, you have the option to quiet it. You have the option to seek out any and every form of meditation you can get your hands on. You have the option to recognise that what you are feeling is not what you want to feel and then you can MAKE A CHOICE to feel something different. That doesn't mean that you will feel different automatically but making a choice, getting a goal, using your capacity to focus on something that you desire even if it is a feeling is a step towards autonomy. You have way more power in your life than you might think and you have even more power within your own body. All human beings have been given the gift of free will, use it. Make a choice.

Sometimes self doubt is like a stone in your shoe and sometimes it's like a brick in the face. Either way the answer to dealing with it is always same. One step at a time. You may have to make the choice to want to feel better 10 times a day and that will be tiring in itself but not making the choice costs you even more. You are good enough. You are worthy. You are sacred. You are a soul manifesting a human experience for the sheer hell of it. There is real joy, real happiness right where you sit in this moment. The first step to tapping into it is recognising that it is there. All spiritual practices function on this principle. That's why so many mystics call this process a remembering. You already know your value despite maybe having been taught something else. Its right there with you. You really do matter. You really are important. Surrender your mind to the light that you are built from and find the smallest nugget of quiet in your life, that's all you need to make a start.

And howdy doo! Hope you've been keeping yourself out of trouble these last two weeks and boy am I glad to be back at the helm. I forgot how much I enjoy my routine and my lifestyle and to top it off I return with good news, we found a house! It's not too far from where I am but it's bigger, it's off the hill and it seems like a quiet location. The place needs rebranding in my style but all of that is the fun stuff when it comes to moving. We viewed the house at 12.30 and by 4.30 our offer had been accepted and paper work had already been signed. All we are waiting for now is solicitors and moving dates so wont be too long before we are sat somewhere new. We also planned to either go to Greece for a week or find a cabin somewhere but it just doesn't feel like a smart move to fork out the cash so close to moving and so close to ( dare I say it ? ) Christmas! So for the last two weeks I have eaten too much, slept too much and did my best to morph into a vegetable...and it was amazing! But now I'm back at the laptop, writing again and playing with the projects I'm interested in.

This morning I rededicated myself to my yoga practice and realised just how long it's been since I've done any. My foot is healing a lot quicker now that the house energy is resolved ( I think my body literally would not let me keep my feet on the floor in this home ) so stretching my body out again is exactly what I needed and a quick 15 minute meditation straight after has set my mind right. After writing this blog I have some more intuitive exercizes, poetry and meditations to do before I spend a nice long day connecting with spirit. My head is FULL of energy and two weeks is about as long as I can go without doing a reading properly. I start picking up on things all over the place and my dreams get interupted so I'm glad to be working out all my spiritual muscles again. The break has also helped me to see that I was starting to slip right back into putting pressure on myself to be continually productive and I started to take life a little too seriously again. Making sure I did nothing, having a complete break was lovely. I mainly watched netflix and played in my sketchbook ate out loads and had many afternoon naps. Sometimes you don't quite realise you are slipping into an old habit of a negative routine until you find time to stop.

I am about to slam right into the busiest time of year for me. My books are full and I am also aware that I will get many drop outs and rearrangements last minute because everyone will go a little crazy in the holiday season, so, I'm making my yoga practice and morning meditations more mandatory creating a little room at the beginning of each day to catch myself before I slip into a pressure based mindset. I swear sometimes I need a daily reminder for me to take it easy and that's what I'm giving myself. The last quarter of the year is al about reviewing what we've been up to. This is the time of year when compassion needs to be more effective because it's easy to slip into the idea of failure. Stop looking at what you didn't get to do and look at what you did. Stop looking at what you didn't achieve and look at what steps you did take, and hey, if you didn't take any steps towards your goal this year then you still have two months left! You don't have to do it all, just do a little. I much prefer the “little and often” philosophy. In a culture where radical change is fetishised be the opposite. Bit by bit, step by step. Be vigilant in this over the next few months and relax into the last chapter of the year.

I would dread getting the texts by the end of it. I knew that the second that she was coming over that it would be hours of her talking about herself, inventing scenarios that are barely rooted in reality for nothing other than garnering sympathy and promoting her identity as a victim. I would take a big deep breath every time I knew a visit was happening until, after months of our meetings leaving me exhausted the penny finally dropped. I had to learn what I already knew...again! Bracing for impact is a tell tale sign that the people you are around are toxic to your energy. When you have to, and I mean have to say a silent prayer or take a big deep breath before you walk into a room with someone then it's probably not someone you should be hanging around with. It is always our responsibility to maintain our own energy systems. Doing so requires thoughtful examination of the self and a careful awareness of your emotional authenticity. Responsibility for your own energy system means that you never really require someone else to make you feel better. That's not to say that you don't need help or the occasional support system but all of the energy contracts are clear, spoken about and on the table. It's the unspoken energy grabs that pull people into toxicity.

Toxic people often aren't aware of their own toxicity and even if they were they would often find someone else to blame. When someone is obnoxious, rude or aggressive then it's easy to spot their negativity but most of the energy thieves that I have come across have done so with a smile on their face. They are the people whom when you leave them you feel drained, or stressed. I know that happens during stressful or draining times but these energy types are always in that space in some shape or other. When I recognised this I just stopped calling. I withdrew from the friendship slowly and surgically so as to almost go unnoticed. I also made a concious effort to keep my energy my own on the times that we did connect until eventually she stopped calling too. When a toxic person isn't getting what they demand from you they will either drop off the map or attack you for more. I don't care what title that person has in your life, your family, partner, friends, if someone is costing you your energy then you need to recognise it and enforce a boundary.

It would be stupid of me to not point out the obvious here. That toxic energy types only turn up in your life by invitation. As much as I demand that people around me be responsible for their energy I have to be responsible for mine. If I don't believe and behave in a manner that states that my energy is worth guarding then that's what I'll attract. If I believe that I should sacrifice my sanity for others then I will attract that. If you don't guard your own energy boundaries then people will turn up to take from you. Ensure that your soul is not a feast for someone who is looking to prop themselves up using you as a crutch. Also be aware if you are doing that unintentionally to someone else. If you can't sit in your own silence, if you can't be still with who you are and what you are feeling then you just might be acting in a toxic way yourself. Think on this and as always, start by building a good “love or above” mindset from the inside out.

The biggest trick to making active life changes is to make them habitual. To make the small steps towards progress so steadily that you can almost over look them. If your goal is to write a book then my advice is to write every day. Even if you only end up writing a sentence a day that's still a sentence more than you would have the day before. If you want to make art then even getting a small bit done daily mounts up by the end of the week. The same goes for music, study and building a business. All you need before you begin is a plan and even that plan can be something you work on a bit at a time. Start by thinking about where you want to be. How much wealth do you want to create? How much work do you want to do? What type of work do you want to do? Apply this philosophy to other parts of your life. Romance is a collection of a million small acts. Flowers and chocolates are nice but so is taking the time to sit with your loved one before both of you start your day. A quick text to let someone know that you love them, a note, a poem, it doesn't take much work to build a life centred on love and creativity but it will always take effort, especially initially.

You have to start wherever you are and I get it that sometimes when you are building a new life that you aren't starting with much. It gets harder to course correct the older you get, it feels like the resources are more limited, the expectation is more severe and there is less of a conversation around you about this shift. It feels cliché to say it but the biggest hurdle to creating change is yourself. The guilt that you “should have this sorted out by now?”, the internalised ageism, the dependants in your life, the financial obligations, all of it can feel like a towering “No!” over any change you want to create. But still that moment comes at 2 in the morning, when you can't sleep again and that sinkhole of dread fills your gut at what you know is coming at you a day ahead. I get it, I've been there and I still get there now and again. The only remedy I have found that works is to make a choice that you are going to change it. Even if you don't know how yet, just make a choice, then, get a plan. Once you have a plan, make a start. No matter how small a start, a small move in the direction you want to go in is still movement.

It will help you more to change from a passive interaction with your life to a more adult sense of ownership. It is after all YOUR life. Your time is limited and also precious. Be sure to seek the light that you deserve and if no one has ever told you then then allow me, YOU DESERVE A GOOD LIFE, however you define that! If you are feeling lost, alone and disconnected from everyone around you, if you are coming to the horrible yet necessary realisation that you really are the only person that can change your life then make a start. Any start will do but make it. Don't just create change for change sake. Get some pen and paper and start jotting down thoughts and ideas. Start a journal. Start a group. Call a University and get a prospectus. Book a date night. Look at a holiday brochure. Anything that looks like a step towards discovery, take it! Good Luck!

The incense smoke rolls over the room and I sink into a different head space. The flickering light of a candle cast fluid shadows over the walls and I put a piece of paper and a pen on my lap. I love to doodle when I connect with the Universe. Sometimes I think I tap into the space of automatic writing, mainly because sometimes I end up with messages written on there for me and sometimes I think I am just keeping my brain busy whilst my spirit takes over. Either way I'm not too focused on the process. All I care about is that I end up in the emotional and spiritual space I intend to go to. It's like I see into the world. It's easy to get distracted by the physical beauty of the world but once you see the magnificence just underneath the surface you will be hungry for that light your entire life. Life is sacred. All life, in all spaces and at all times. I feel that with all my heart and there are no exceptions. The whole world we experience is an alter. A sacred place to remind us that we are part of something bigger, that we ARE something bigger. I cannot spend time by the sea or walking through the trees without viscerally connecting with this truth. I am more than the boundary of my skin. I am a dream in the mind of the divine. But I also need to pay my bills, walk the dog, see to my family, clean that crappy bit down the side of the cooker, figure out what Oscar stained the carpet with and pray it isn't poop. As majestic as we are you are totally legitimate in not feeling that way all the time.

This is why we need reminders. For me it's incense, candles and some tarot cards. Sometimes I set up an alter and do some chanting, sometimes I meditate and draw, sometimes I fold origami birds and focus on being present. When I am invested in these activities something about the very energy of the space I am in shifts. I am aware of the flow of the world and sink into the blurry line between who we think we are and everything else. It's all so fragile, not just life, reality. It really is just a blink of an eye. When I feel like my problems are becoming too much to handle I try my best to find this place. This is why I have a practice and why I think it's O.K to have a sacred space in your home. You may not have room for one, but choosing to name a place as sacred, even for a short time can help you shift into the idea that you are part of something brighter than you are experiencing right now. We all need reminders. I am lucky that I need to have that space daily in order for me to do my job. I need to connect with the energy of the world in order to do what I do, my reminder is really to remember to do that for myself.

Every day find a moment or two to reach into the beautiful space of your spirit and connect with it. Put reminders anywhere that you will see them. Paintings, poems, alters, candles, incense, books, litter your life with beautiful bookmarks to nudge you into the delicious space of love. We need reminders now more than we have done for a while. Our planet, our political situation, the energies of the past clinging on for dear life, we must be vigilant in staying in the space of light. You may have noticed how many more people are feeling lost these days which makes it all the more important to stick to the love you have within you. It's not only showing you the way to go in your own life, it's also subtly guiding others around you. You may not take them all the way but you may just be the catalyst, the glimmer of hope, the fraction of love they allow in to put them on course. What is the trajectory of your life? What is the trajectory of the love that you carry within you? You may know clearly, you may never know or meet all the lives that you touch but you have touched them, stay loving regardless.

Freedom is the only currency that we are all seeking. We ask for money but what we really want is the autonomy within our lives to choose. To travel to where we want to go, to buy a house based on preference rather than budget and of course to have a job that allows all of this. Take some time to really think about the lifestyle that you would want to live. If you were suddenly given a billion pounds or if you had the chance to hit a reset button in your life what choices would you make differently? Delve into the delicious inner child and see what he or she would do with that freedom. I've been working on that a lot lately. What would I do with unlimited resources? I think I'd probably buy a house for me and Stu, I'd give him the option to go part time or quit altogether ( I doubt he would though ), I would travel to Japan, Canada, Paris and anywhere else that took my fancy. To be honest the core of what I do wouldn't really change. I'd still do my readings and I would still make art. What increasing my income would do for me is to give me more time with the people I love and more adventure. So when manifesting more wealth in my life it's important for me to know what wealth actually means. For me it's freedom and adventure.

What does wealth mean to you? If you truly ahd unlimited resources what charities would you support? I personally think I would try my best to help as many animals as I could. I'd pour money into an ethical treatment of animals law and lately I've ben thinking about having pet licenses. Maybe having a system in place where you have to prove your ability to look after an animal? I'm not entirely sure what would work but I would try as much as I could. How about you? Some people would support childrens charities or environmental causes, each of us has a different calling where that is concerned but then I suppose with unlimited resources you could help them all. That's the real benefit of defining what wealth means to you, it puts you in a place where you are forced to acknowledge what is important to you. It's an imaginary scenario I come back to time and time again. It just helps free my thinking each time so that I would really consider whether my goals are authentic or not. Is that path I am on an expression of my limited thinking or challenging the fabric of who I am?

The Universe responds to your energy not just the words you speak. Think about what words mean before you cast them into the Universe. What is their context, their agenda, their content? Sometimes what you are asking for and what you are getting become two different things because on an energetic level you are asking for something else. This is a fun exercise to help you look at your motives and really help you to clean up your energy agreements. Try it if you get some time today and see why it is you want what you want. I'm going to work it into my practice for a month or so whilst I carve out a new dream for myself. I can feel that this new house that me and Stu are currently manifesting is going to be a brand new platform for other things for me to create. It feels like a new door is opening and for that I need my mind to be as open and as receptive as possible and this is one of the many things I use to help me. Don't be too pragmatic, don't think about what is possible, at least not yet, just for a moment try to dream.

You can't get too far into your life without having to have made some hard decisions. In fact it's the main reason most people knock at my door! I say it often but I'll say it again here, your intuition is always a better psychic for you than I can ever be. All psychics really do is reflect the deep personal truths that you have habitually tried to forget, buried or just plain over looked and bring them to the surface. We don't create anything in particular, we just reveal what's already there. It's the real essence of a medium. We are vessels for all kinds of truths, personal ones, universal ones and spiritual ones. I do understand that maybe not everyone feels like they can hear spirits in the same way as psychics can but I am a firm believer in that we are born with everything that we will ever need, even if sometimes that's the insight to reach out for help. I think when viewed correctly psychics can become an enlightening part of your spiritual tapestry. We can point out things you might over look or help you rediscover a part of yourself that you had forgotten you can tap into. But if you abuse the dynamic then all that happens is that you get the same information over and over again or, spirits will just stop delivering information to the psychic.

As much advice as you illicit from people around you ultimately you have to make the decision for yourself. It's your life that will have to deal with any fall out as a result so it's always on your shoulders. In that quiet moment before you sleep you have to align yourself with your own dignity and sense of morality. Before you close our eyes the quiet chatter of your spirit is more easily heard and it is always calling you in the direction of your conscience. This is why I always think that it's best to do any sort of intuitive exercises before bed. Your conscious mind is tired by that point so your intuitive mind is much more free to play. I always advise journalling as a great way to start interacting with your intuition. Treat your intuition as a person and write a letter to it and then try writing a response from the imagined perspective of your intuition. You'd be surprised how much clarity can come from that exercise. I used to do it quite often but I'd forgotten about it until recently. Write down everything that you want help with and then ask that wonderful internal GPS where to go and what to do. Keep doing it and record the results.

Another thing I enjoy doing before bed is my gratitude practice. I slip in and out of it but each time I get back to it I always wonder why I let it go. Writing down what you are grateful for, for that day, puts you in control over what you are choosing to take from the day-sized chunk of energy you just experienced. This is turn hones your energy and of course with that comes an increased dialogue with your intuition. Look, I'm not trying to talk myself out of a job and I'm not buggering off either! I'll always be here doing my readings for all those that want some insight but I never want to foster the feeling that I am somehow necessary for your enlightenment, although, some of my favourite memories over the last 20 years is when I have been witness to spirit use my readings to create that catalyst of light. If right now you are facing something that feels tough, be aware that you are already sitting there with everything you need. The world is talking to you all the time. Sending you messages. Sending you people. Sending you light and grace. Just be open enough to listen and always, ALWAYS, follow your gut.

So a week ago I spoke to you about the magical morning I had when walking around the local park. The dew on the grass, the sun shining through the leaves and the silence that radiated from the ground up. There was another moment a few days ago when the house was all locked up and I just stared out of the window for a moment or two and drank in the energy of the Universe. I make it a point to make room for these small moments. I have become a collector of sorts of them and they are what I go back to when I find myself in a confused of conflicted moment. They are reminders for me that there is an order to the world. A plan of sorts. Some like to think that there is an individualised curriculum for each soul that incarnates whilst others think that we are all on the same journey towards expressing love. I personally think that we are all somewhere in the middle. Sometimes we learn and grow to become better vessels for light and sometimes we get to just dive in and enjoy the love of the Universe for what it is. It's all ebb and flow. I totally understand though that it can feel like the complete opposite sometimes and you don't feel particularly wonderful when you are convinced that the Universe may have forgotten about you.

This is when I let myself dive into these moments. I write about them, I draw them, I doodle them, I journal them. They are the platforms for all the inspiration I get to enjoy. Each morning for the last few months I have not only been writing my morning poem but also a morning prayer for my next book. I hit a milestone last week and I'm now at 60 of them! The goal is 108 for this particular one but nearly all of them come from that place of awe at the divine. It feels like the Universe is praying to you in that moment, asking you to remember that you are love, loved and loving. Sometimes clients share these moments with me, wandering down the beach with both feet in the water, picking up a sketchbook for the first time ever, watching their first grandchild fall asleep in their arms. These moments are precious, keep them and remember them. As I've said many times before that my spiritual practice has always been pretty fluid. The actions I have taken have gone from traditional meditation, yoga, art, dance, drumming and these days I've settled on poetry but each of them have a singular intention, to put me in a space that is welcoming of love.

My spiritual practice is a place where I ready my mind for those gentle moments of grace. I can't instigate them but I certainly want to be aware enough so that I don't miss them when they pass me by. They can happen anywhere and at any time. Everyone on a spiritual path has experienced them, so if you're reading this then you'll know what I'm talking about. Maybe you've had them but haven't recognised them for what they were? It's those moments when you feel like you're not only looking out into the world but you feel like the world is looking back. For no reason at all you'll begin to feel like you're falling in love and your problems feel a little less overt in your experience. If you haven't had one of these for a while then ask for one. Pray to God, the Angels, your family in spirit, it doesn't matter who or what you ask it's the asking that is the point. Just ready yourself for divine light and watch as it envelopes you.

I can't help but feel heavy, a little lost, confused on a level I can't quite put my finger on but still the Universe feels like it's pulling at me. Calling me in one direction or another. The warm feeling that bleeds out through my heart and into my life is strong but still I am slowly, methodically, sifting through pieces of my life figuring out what I need to keep and what I need to let go of. I know this feeling and I've gone through it many times before. This is not a time to shut down and plough through, this is a time when I need to actively figure out what I need to do to be more emotionally and mindfully present. What I am experiencing is the labour pains of change. Even if something it going to dramatically shift your life in a positive direction you are still going to have to go through some form of this. If you are aware enough to know what's happening it will pass more quickly, if not, then you will find yourself wandering around your life not knowing entirely what is happening. Sound familiar? This “birthing” process of a new self takes time and it's inevitable that you will go through it sooner or later. There is a moment when who you are has to actively and consciously let go of who you were and that moment is always a mixed bag.

Identity is a wonderful thing although you may have noticed a lot of people seem to take it far too seriously. What you are is not who you are and it's the blurring of those lines that leaves so many in that lost space. If you define yourself by your actions, by what you do, what you earn, your job title then what happens if that is taken away? If I had a bump on the head and could suddenly no longer write how would that change me? Would I be a totally different person afterwards? I hope not. I would like to think that I would just gravitate towards something of equal or more merit. If I suddenly lost my psychic ability I wouldn't be any less inquisitive about the world. I wouldn't find people any less fascinating. I would still find a deep pleasure in watching people evolve into their happiest selves. Don't get me wrong it would suck and I would grieve the skill set but I would find another. Identity when it does not acknowledge the soul is a recipie for disaster. I'm not saying that you should abandon any affinity for the physical self, after all, playing in that arena is one of the many reasons we incarnated in the first place but also acknowledge that you are one of many. Even within the frame of your own body you are already a collaboration more than you are a single entity.

You are always on the road to becoming a bigger and brighter version of yourself. That is a given for the human experience. The only real choice we seem to have is whether we go willingly towards that expression of self or not. It is tricky to navigate sometimes because we will inevitably attach some parts of who we are to our physical experience. That in and of itself is not a bad thing. When utilised properly we all have the capacity not to just improve our own lives but through the clarity of example we can change the world around us. So if you find yourself in a slump that feels nameless then maybe you are just in the process of growing into a new phaze of you. Maybe life isn't tasteless, perhaps it's just creating a new flavour that you havent' quite reached for yet because you didn't realise that's what was happening? As always be gentle with your growth and see where it takes you. Let your intuition be your guide and remember that the Universe is always working towards what is best for the greater good which always includes YOUR greater good.

The bed is made and I crawl down to the shower to wake up to the day. Soon after that I have my coffee, my trough of vitamins and a juice to sit with Stu for the 15 minutes we normally have before he goes off to work. We joking say “let's have our morning dose of propaganda!” as we switch the BBC on to see what's happening in the world and the sifting begins. It's tough to be able to find the actual news in amongst what is being said but without question nearly every segment is fear based and rooted in shock value. Shock value is just lazy marketing. Instead of seeking truth, finding inspiration and using love as a means to create community near enough everywhere you look each platform seems to be using fear to force us to tap into a primal instinct to gather in numbers during times of stress. It's written into us and it works most of the time. This is the root of mob mentality. People aren't gathering to discuss and create a better way in the world, they are gathering to identify the threat and annihilate it. You can really see this playing out everywhere from social media to business campaigns. In fact marketing 101 states that you “find a problem and solve it!”. Also if you can't find a problem you invent one.

Fear is quick in it's energy. It's designed to be. It's whole meter is to keep us alive, but like the adrenaline it inspires it doesn't last as long. In order to keep you in a cycle of fear the perceived threat has to get bigger, more menacing and it has to come at you from all angles. Fear causes a complete retraction of energy from the frontal lobe, our reasoning centers, and keeps us in flight or flight. The reason we see so many people acting so instrinsically selfish in our culture is because they are stuck in this fear based mindset. I'm not saying the fear isn't real but we have to move beyond it in order to heal. Love takes time. It's harder to build something in this world in a principled, dignified way BUT unfortunately we haven't left ourselves much room to check out from that. Love is now something that needs to be organised and propagated in the world in whatever you do. I advocate that everyone looking to make their lives and the lives around them better ask themselves regularly, “How can I show more love?”. That's not always about doing more but it is always about being more present. Taking time to look someone in the eyes when you talk, not being glued to your phone, going the extra mile to show a work mate that you care. Love takes time.

At some point the fear in the air becomes too much for anyone remotely spiritually aware and it's totally O.K to check out for a little while. I have been known to vegitate in front of Netflix for a few hours, or sometimes a few weeks when the world feels overwhelming. It's not a bad thing to do that, now building a whole lifestyle out of that turns it from self care and self soothing into a fear based lifestyle of it's own. Fear is not negative, if left to do the job it is supposed to do then it does it extremely well. What's happened is that fear has become politicized, marketed and our entire culture is becoming acclimated to it in a way I have never seen before. It's death by a thousand cuts. So as soon as you've read this today, take it as a call to arms. Stay informed about the world by all means but look at every fear based entity you encounter as an invitation to love. Don't react. Take your time. Think from the space of your heart about what you can do to act lovingly and compassionately and then go do it!

I peeled the duvet back and ran the gauntlet of getting up and dressed whilst keeping Oscar as quiet as I could. I give Stu a gentle kiss and he stirred just enough to ask where I was off before he rolled back over and continued snoring. I left the house as the first real bite of Autumn enveloped the air. My foot is getting better so the walk wasn't painful and Oscar and I slowly dawdled passed the trees and houses until we got to the park. Most dog walkers know that wonderful time first thing in the morning before a park is filled with the noise of kids and people bustling towards work. I saw plenty of other dog walkers wander around, coffee in hands and we are polite to each other but we all recognise the quiet time of this space. I watched the trees and felt God at every turn. The Universe was with me today. Gentle drops fell from the leaves of trees and shards of light burst through onto the ground creating a light show that felt like it was just for me. I couldn't help but repeat the words “Thank you.” each time I saw a display of nature more beautiful than the next. Then, as if be magic a white feather fell right in front of my face, to the point of where I jumped a little, and I held my hand out and it landed right in the centre of my palm. There couldn't have been any more learer a sign than the Universe was with me and that is enough.

As you all know I'm looking for a new home at the moment. This one has sold and it is a bittersweet feeling. I love this home but I know I can't stay here any more. What we have been seeing so far hasn't been suitable. It's as if everything is “almost”. I'll see a house on a street I've always wanted to live on but then the neighbours are students, or slobs, or the house will need gutting. It's happened three times. Or I'll find a house that seems lovely but it's so far out that I won't have the lifestyle that I love and to be honest, that's the crux. That's where I won't budge. I love being able to grab a coffee and walk my dog on the beach but I can't see the house I am in love with yet. I keep feeling like it is close though, as if I'm just about to turn a corner and there it is or maybe that corner is my perspective and I'll reinvigorate a place that I've already seen? I think we are looking for a forever home and that might be the issue, maybe it's not time for that yet, maybe we need just one more step before we settle for good? I'm unclear on that right now, I'm still meditating and moving towards what feels right and when nothing feels right I move towards everything and let my gut guide me.

Being an open channel I sometimes get frustrated that the Universe can't just tell me where to go and what to do. I see other people's energy maps so clearly that during times like this I wish I could see my own. I get fragments, I get glimpses but it's never as clear as someone else's. Still when I get a little bit too thought-heavy a day like yesterday happens. The world opens up a little and let's me look at all the in between spaces and I get a reminder that it's all working for me. There is real magic and real miracle in the world around you if you're brave enough to look. I go searching as often as I can and even though I don't feel any clearer on the subject that's bouncing around my head right now I do feel better about it. Sometimes the Universe stands with you in solidarity rather than solving your puzzle for you. It just lets you know that there is something to hold onto during times of stress or worry and that no matter what is going on there are reminders that you live in a Universe of love and plenty. We do. We really do.

There is an idea that the older you get the harder it is to make a change in your life. We all hear about the “Eat, Pray, Love” journeys where people just pack up their lives and jet off on wild and wonderful adventures but some don't have that kind of agency. Some people really are stuck in a financial hole that is hard to climb out of. Hard but not impossible. If you've ever had serious financial troubles you'll know that in those cases hope becomes a sword and shield that you have no choice but to pick up each day. That is the silver lining of that situation and that is the lens through which you can begin to create change. I live a pretty autonomous life but I still need to grow, I still need to evolve into whatever I am on a journey towards. I am finding more and more as I grow that I come up against an internal wall, the idea to not “rock the boat” and keep the steady status quo even though steady isn't always exciting. I think most of the limits we put on ourselves growing are always inside our own heads. I've come across people who are so immobilized by this that they have even stopped themselves from dreaming of a better life such is the pain of their own. Personally I like to know what my options are, even if they are limited I like to make a plan.

I think thats the nucleus of all change, the plan, the dream. You have to start somewhere. What if it's been so long that you don't even know where to start? Or what if you don't know what your dream even might be? Well if that's the case you're in luck. You happen to be born inside a Universe filled with choice. Start with the small things, where in the world would you like to visit? What would you like to see? What experiences would you like to have? For me I've always wanted to visit Japan and see the amazing origami centres there. I want to go to Canada and breathe in it's unspoiled nature I want to spend a few days in Paris, see all the tourist stuff in New York, drink coffee in Italy and continue to visit and explore my spiritual home Greece! For years I had so little money that these really were just pipe dreams but as I've grown and I've learned to plan more meticulously ALL of these dreams are becoming possible. The hurdle I find myself hitting is always in a creative goal setting and creative dreaming. I've caught myself on a few occasions scoffing at myself for wanting to play in a certain area. My own internal ageism has been chiming in which is a fairly new thing. Still, I want to make choices about my future based on whether I want to do them rather than whether I feel like I am too old to even start!

Being raised a bloke in our culture has given me a fairly acute sense of ownership. I am fully aware that I have had complete agency to move towards the things that I choose and I get the privilege of that whilst also understanding that not everyone has the same. Still, I really do feel that if you don't even let yourself dream and begin to explore those dreams then you aren't going to get anywhere. I don't want you just to create a mental space to retreat to, I want you to get an action plan. If it's saving a few quid a week or finding cheap art supplies to start creating, or finding maps of places you want to see make a move towards a dream. If you are finding a dream to move towards then start hanging around other dreamers. Find people who are doing what they love and start asking them out for coffee! You will start to pick up on that vibration and it will help. Like I often say you don't have to do it all but you will start to feel better if you just take a first step. A plan, a prospectus, looking at courses on line, the smallest step is still a step. You can do this!

I totally get it, you look at the current political climate and want to tear your own face off. With the knowledge that we are all born of light, built out of love and we collectively constructed an identity purely for the purpose of expressing that love it's bizarre to see the horrible things that human beings can do to each other and think about each other. Where's the compassion? Where's the love? Where's the army of light that can transform this planet into something cohesive? I'll give you a clue. It's right here, right now and you're already enlisted. I'm not easily horrified but even I have needed a few moments this last year to take in what's been happening and it doesn't take a psychic to see that the trajectory we are on is not amazing. So what can be done? What can we actually do? My advice is to continue working towards the best but also to be mindful enough to prepare for the worst. Firstly, we need to get a handle on our political structure. Politics and spirituality are one in the same. One is the power structure of our country and the other is the power structure of the soul. The more in alignment they are the better for everyone involved.

Voting is not enough and protesting doesn't work, at least not in the way that we are doing it. I've never quite understood how gathering with witty or scathing placards and walking around in a circle really does anything. Rioting only ever really hurts small business owners so where does that leave us? I do believe in protest and I believe in the power of a vote but I think in order for them to work we need to expand our definition of them. Every time you spend money you are voting. Every time you go to work for a company you are voting for their principles. Every time you put money into a bank you are voting for their ethical standards. Voting is not a one time thing we do, we do it daily. Protest is a moral statememt intended to differenciate you from the current power structure. It is an affirmation both to yourself and your tribe about your current moral agreements. Dialogue is crucial for protest to be effective. Screaming, ranting and just being plain angry in the streets doesn't work. We can be forceful, articulate and decisive but anger only perpetuates more anger. On the upside love also inspires more love.

It's easy to point at political figures like Teresa May and Donald Trump and tear them apart. It's easy to count all of the decisions they have made, the disregard they carry for certain sections of society and use them as vessels for our own frustrations. I get that I do. But you can't hold them to account truly without first holding to account the system that we have built that allow such abuses of power. I personally think that as a collective we have evolved past an “alpha male/female” paradigm. I think that our political system already works for a lot of people but it wouldn't take too much for it to begin to work for everybody. It can only do that if we stay informed. It can only do that if the spiritual community gathers and starts to seek out positions within the political community. It can happen if we start to talk about the kind of political system that we want. I know that I want one based in compassion. One that takes into account equality and equity for each individual. One that encourages contribution based behaviour and ethical evolution. I truly believe we are capable of this and it all begins with conversation and keeping tha conversation going. Treat your politics like you treat your alter.