Much like Nicki Minaj on Idol, plastic surgery fads are fickle and ever-changing. The British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons (BAAPS, not to be confused with B*A*P*S) released data on cosmetic surgery in the UK in 2012. The report stated that while the number of procedures was "stable", the actual composition altered a bit from last year.

Analyzing 43,172 surgical procedures carried out by the BAAPS 230 surgeons last year, they noticed that people only care about their beautiful baby-style faces. For women, fat transfers from one part of the body to the other (usually from big toe to back of knee JK JK), was up by 13 percent from 2011. Also, lifts of the visage soared, with face lists up by 14 percent, brow lifts by 17 percent, and eyelid surgery by 13 percent.

Apparently everyone's taking pictures from the neck up this year, and letting their bodies fall to absolute shit. Man boob operations are down by 18 percent from 2011, and liposuction and tummy tucks for women both fell by more than 10 percent.

Everyone's retaining the rolls, but shooting up their faces like so many Christmas turkeys.

The president of BAAPS and consultant plastic surgeon, Rajiv Grover, said: "The growth rates for surgical facelifting and other anti-ageing procedures showed a double digit rise, despite a double dip recession.

"Whilst there is an undeniable rise in demand for non-surgical treatments of the face, for example Botox and fillers, once there is actual loose skin in the neck or jowling, only surgery is likely to make a significant improvement and the public seem to be increasingly aware of this.

"The considerable drop in body-shaping procedures such as liposuction and tummy tucks may well be due to people choosing to head back to the gym, perhaps inspired by an unforgettable summer of Olympic golds!"

Somehow I doubt that's true, it's probably just chance, and next year we'll see a reversal. We'll just alternate between being terrified of chubby thighs and being terrified of natural aging until the end of time. One thing is for certain — plastic surgery, much like cockroaches and Dick Cheney, will survive any sort of recession, apocalypse, alien invasion, or swarm of locusts. Actually, we'll for sure need it after the locusts.