Ryan Braun: 'I did not do this'

Ryan Braun couldn't have been more vehement in proclaiming his innocence as he gave an impassioned and stunningly detailed account of what he has gone through since being informed of a positive drug test in early October.

Having won his appeal to a three-man arbitration panel to avoid a 50-game suspension to start the season, Braun reported to the Brewers' spring camp, addressed his teammates in a players-only meeting and held a nearly 30-minute press conference on the playing field at Maryvale Baseball Park. Beyond a large contingent of Milwaukee and national media, many of Braun's teammates and much of the front office sat in the stands to listen to an obviously angry Braun.

To say the least, Braun came out swinging. He questioned the drug process itself, the collector whose delay in shipping the urine sample led to a chain-of-custody decision in Braun's favor and the media who he said falsely accused him of many things and misreported facts.

At one point, he loudly annunciated: "I did not do this."

"If I had done this intentionally or unintentionally, I'd be the first one to step up and say, 'I did it,'" said Braun, wearing a casual jacket as he addressed the media under a bright Arizona sun.

"By no means am I perfect but if I've ever done any mistakes in my life I've taken responsibility for my actions. I truly believe in my heart and I would bet my life that this substance never entered my body at any point.

"I've always had tremendous respect for the game of baseball and part of the reason I've kept quiet throughout the course of this ordeal, and part of the reason why I won't be able to get into all of the details today, is to put the best interests of the game ahead of the best interests of myself. And that hasn't been easy.

"There were a lot of times when I wanted to come out and tell the entire story, to attack everybody as I've been attacked, as my name has been dragged through the mud as everything I've worked for my entire life was called into question.

"There were a lot of times I wanted to come out and tell the entire story but at the end of the day but at the end of the day I realized what's actually best for the game of baseball and I put that ahead of what was actually best for myself."

Yet, Braun did go into amazing detail in describing the MLB drug testing policy, how samples are collected, how they are shipped and tested at the lab, and how the appeal process played out.

In essence, Braun said his urine sample no longer was valid after it was held by the collector for two days instead of immediately shipping it to the MLB testing lab in Montreal. He went as far as suggesting it might have been tampered with, though he gave no motivation for doing so.

"I've always stood up for what is right," he said. "Today is about everybody who's been wrongly accused, and everybody who has had to stand up for what is actually right. Today isn't about me, it isn't about one player. It's about all players. It's about all current players, all future players and everybody who plays the game of baseball."

Braun even addressed the rampant internet rumors and reports that he tested positive for a very high level of testosterone because he was being treated for a sexually transmitted disease.

"There's never been a personal medical issue; I've never had an STD," said Braun. "Many of the stories that that were erroneously reported by the initial network (ESPN) continue to live on, and it's sad and disappointing that this has become a PR battle and that people continue to leak information that's inaccurate.

"We won because the truth is on my side. The truth is always relevant and at the end of the day the truth prevailed. I am a victim of a process that completely broke down and failed in the way it was applied to me in this case... We're a part of a process in which you're 100% guilty until proven innocent. It's the opposite of the American judicial system.

"With what's at stake -- this is my livelihood, this is my integrity, this is my character, this is everything that I've worked for in my entire life being called into question -- we need to make sure we get it right. Today's about making sure this never happens again to anybody else who plays this game.

"The system in the way it was applied to me in this case was fatally flawed... I told them that I promise you on anything that's ever meant anything in my life -- the morals, the values, the virtues by which I've lived in my 28 years on this planet -- I did not do this. I told them that I would be an open book. I opened up my life to them. I told them I would be more than happy and willing to take any and every test to prove I didn't do this.

"It's been an extremely difficult, challenging time in my life. But at the end of the day, I know the truth. My friends, family, teammates, the Milwaukee Brewers organization and everybody who knows me, knows the truth.""This is without a doubt the biggest challenge that I've ever faced in my life and it's made that more challenging that I've had to deal with it publicly," he said. "But I truly view this challenge as an opportunity as I've viewed every other challenge in my life.

"I've tried to respect the process even though the confidentiality of the process was breeched early on. I tried to handle the entire situation with honor, with integrity, with class, with dignity and professionalism because that's who I am."

Braun said the test resulted showed a testosterone level three times higher than had been recorded in any previous player. He said he tried to appeal to the panel how that result made no sense whatsoever, and that its validty should be questioned.

"I initially took a humanistic approach," he said, "and explained to them I'm 27 years old, I'm just entering my prime, I have a contract guaranteed for nine more years, I've been tested at least 25 times over the course of my career, at least three times this season prior to this test and an additional time when I signed my contract, including an extensive physical, blood test, everything you could imagine. I've never had any issue; there's no evidence to suggest otherwise. And they said, 'That's great, we believe you, in fact, the other side believes you, none of this makes any sense to anybody."

Braun said he then was told the burden of proof fell on him to prove he didn't do it and what caused the positive test result. He said his side started looking into the process, including the collection and shipping of the samples. Braun said they discovered the collector held onto the sample for a couple of days instead of immediately shipping it at FedEx even though "there were at least five FedEx locations within five miles of the stadium that were open until 9 p.m. and an additional FedEx location that was open for 24 hours."

Braun went into great detail on that process, both the collection and shipping.

"Why he didn't bring it in, I don't know," said Braun. "Why was there zero documentation? What could have possibly happened to it during that 44-hour period? There were a lot of things that we learned about the collector, the collection process, about the way the entire thing worked that made us very concerned and very suspicious about what could have actually happened."

Braun went into great description of the testing process, saying samples are handled with the care "of a nuclear weapon."

"We spoke to biochemists and scientists, and asked them how difficult would it be to tamper with somebody's sample? Their response was that if they were motivated, it would be extremely easy. Again, that's why it's so important to get it out of the hands of the only person in the world who knows whose sample it is."

So, Braun continued to question the integrity of the process and the collector himself.

"Ultimately, as I sit here today, the system worked because I am innocent and I was able to prove my innocence. After today, I look forward to returning my focus to the game of baseball, being able to get back with my teammates, allowing my life to return to some sense of normalcy and focusing on helping our team get back to the postseason."

Braun then took questions but said he couldn't get into further details of the process because "it's supposed to be confidential and because of potential ongoing litigations and the fact I am considering all my legal options."

Asked why he would have such a high testosterone level, Braun said, "The most honest answer I can give you is that I'm 100% certain it's never entered my system. I can only speak for what happened until the time that the sample went missing. I have no idea what happened to it for that 44-hour period. Beyond that, your guess is as good as mine.

"I"ve lived this nightmare every day for the last four months. There's been a million possibilities that ran through my head. Ultimately, the scariest thing is that it was missing for a prolonged period of time and we have no idea what happened to it, what could have happened to it. It's a scary thought, without a doubt."

Asked specifically if he thought the collector deliberately tampered with his sample, Braun said, "I honestly don't know what happned to it for that 44-hour period. There are a lot of different things that could have possibly happened. There are a lot of things that we've heard about the collection process, the collector and some other people involved in the process that have certainly been concerning to us. But beyond that, as I've dealt with the situation, I know what it's like to be wrongly accused of something. For me to wrongly accuse somebody else of something wouldn't help anybody."

Braun also was asked about the MLB reaction to arbitrator Shyam Das' verdict. A statement was released saying MLB "vehemently disagreed" with the finding, in essence saying Braun was guilty.

"I respect their opinon," he said. "It's a little bit sad and disappointing that this has become a PR battle. I have tried to respect the confidentiality of the process. I certainly respect the process and their position.

"What's sad and disappointing to me is that the players have agreed to this system. The players have agreed to this system. Everybody else that is a part of this process has agreed to this system. Ultimately, the system decided that I was innocent and I've been exonerated. Beyond that, I certainly respect where they're coming from but respectively disagree."

Because this process was designed to be confidential and leaks made it a public spectacle, I asked Braun what he thought about the leaks and if his side was pursuing finding the person or persons responsible and taking action.

"Do we have some idea how this could have occurred? Yes, but we don't know anything with any type of certainty," he said. "I think commenting further than that wouldn't be fair for me."

As for the drug testing system, Braun said, "The program in the way it was applied to me was absolutely fatally flawed. Beyond that, I can't speak for the way it's been applied to anybody else. I've certainly been frustrated by the whole process. I feel like it's been unjust and unfair. Beyond that, whether there are changes to be made or not remains to be seen but I think that's a distinct possibility."

Asked if he thought this drama would continue to follow him, Braun said, "I'm not dumb enough to pretend like this is going to go away. I recognize this is a challenge that I'm going to have to face for some time.

"At the end of the day, as players, we're held to a standard of 100% perfection regarding this program. Everybody else should be held to that same standard. Major League Baseball has agreed with the program that's in place, the process that's in place. Ultimately, we were able to prove my innocence and I was exonerated.

"I've always taken tremendous pride in my image and being a role model and handling myself the right way, in doing things the right way. All of that has been called into question by this situation. When you know that you're innocent of something, it's an extremely difficult thing to have to prove that when you're in a process where you're 100% guilty until proven innocent. Without a doubt, this is the biggest challenge I've ever felt in my life. It's not going to go away overnight. I understand that. The goal for me is to be able to move on, to be with my teammates and to be able to enjoy baseball again.

"One of my biggest regrets having gone through this situation is that I can't ever get that time of my life back. It should have been an amazing time in my life. My team had an incredible season last year, finished two wins short of the World Series. I had a great year individually. I should have been able to enjoy the offseason and I didn't."

Wrapping up his thoughts, Braun said, "At the end of the day I knew the truth was on our side, so I truly believed I was going to win. But it was certainly a big relief. I was definitly pleased with the verdict. I'm excited to be back on the baseball field. This is added motivation for me. To say I'm excited to get started would be a significant understatement."

Of his private address to his teammates earlier in the morning, Braun said, "It was definitely very emotional. The support that they have shown me is something that I can't ever thank them for. When you go through a situation like this where everything you've ever worked for has been called into question, you see who your true friends are. You see who believes in you, who truly supports you. Every one of these guys has been there for me. Having an opportunity to just thank them for that was definitely an emotional moment for me."

Asked if he had any closing comments, Braun added, "The simple truth is I'm innocent. I've maintained my innocence from Day 1, and ultimately I was proven to be innocent. Beyond that, I truly appreciate everyone's support and thank you guys for being here today.

Beyond many of Braun's teammates sitting in the stands behind the media, watching the amazing scene, manager Ron Roenicke watched and listened to Braun in amazement.

"Not a lot of guys could do that," said Roenicke. "That was impressive. He's a pretty special guy. I don't blame him for being upset. Any time you think your character is being questioned, and somebody who cares that much about his character and how he lives, I'd be upset, too."

About Tom Haudricourt

Tom Haudricourt covers the Brewers and Major League Baseball. He was voted Wisconsin Sports Writer of Year for 2011 and 2012 by National Sportscasters and Sportswriters Association.

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