You bore me. Send me more than a stretched out eight or nine or ten letters a day, and maybe your thin spaghetti harvest will be good this year. Right now, I'm pretty uninspired. And no, I'm not putting Thor's name in my place linking to my e-mail, or I may join the televangelists in the sixth level of hell. But even that would be better than going home this summer without having found any internship, which may be the case...hence the new source of my depression. Lonely introverted gamers with a flair for writing and a knack for coding don't get very far, it seems. If there's one piece of advice for you, it's this:
in 3-player Secret of Mana(or anywhere else), don't simultaneously follow each other.
By the way, I'm having a bad humor day. It just won't stay in place, no matter what I eat, so don't expect today's column to cure any cancer.

Xenomonkey

Dear Assmonkey (nothing personal, I call everyone that),

Does anyone think Xenogears rules as much as I do? I mean, c'mon, the
plot line was absolutely phenomenal. No game has ever gone into the nature
of the human psyche, religion, and love so deeply. I've heard people
complaining about how it wasn't really a game, that it's more like an
interactive movie, but I say that's total BS, because if you were really
playing the game, it forced you to rethink your opinions on these subjects.
Sure, it was definitely influenced by the anime "Neon Genesis Evangelion"
(which also rules by the way) but it was still awesome. I hope we see more
games like this in the future.

Sincerely, the Spoony Otaku, a.k.a D-dawwgg

Michael:

I do. The plot was the best I've ever seen in a game, and that's not a comment I throw around lightly. The gameplay was scarce through some periods, but when there was gameplay it was pretty slick(aside from the annoying encounter engine) and entertaining(heck, what average RPG has its own incorporated 0, 1 or 2 player fighting game?). The story elements were taken from many places(NGE as you said, Robotech, Soylent Green, etc.) but the mixture that came of it was breathtaking and unprecedented, even for Square.

One for Sega

Dear Michael, whom is yet without a witty name (actually you might cause I
didn't pay attention to that, so just lemme have my pun)

I was looking around here and there and I found on GameNet that Sega
has already recieved 30,000 pre-orders for the Dreamcast, now, considering
how far off the actual launch is, that is a pretty good number. I personally
want Dreamcast myself because (in a very wierd way) it has an SNES'ish
quality to it (I can see a ton of flame mail). Anywho, if you hate Sega
because their Sega, than your probably gonna miss some great games (Grandia 2
anybody?) because of your bias (but who could blame a Sega hater, I mean the
32x, what the HELL was that about). Anyways, I just think that the Dreamcast
is a nifty piece of Hardware, and based on their $500,000,000 budget for
advertising, expect to somewhat bombarded with Dreamcast advertisments the
way we were with Sony. And besides, The PSX2 is at least over a year away
after the Dreamcast so you might as well get one anyway (remember, eye candy
can suck in the casual gamer and the casual gamer is the largest group of
videogamers out there). Well, I guess I'm done with my pro-Sega letter, and
just so everyone knows, I'll probably buy a PSX2 too. There, I've been
meaning to write this for awhile now, sorry for lack of witt and what not.

-Temjirim

PS- I can't believe Nintendo's actually gonna release the 64DD, this has
economic suicide written all over it.

Michael:

. o O (Ha! I feel better now. He's apologizing to me for lack of wit!)
True enough. The Dreamcast looks promising, and most hard core gamers like my friends I know are planning to get one; keep in mind, though, that it may have a short life as a first generation system if the PSX2 arrives on time.
As for my witty tag-along title, um...check last Sunday's column.

Promises, Promises

Victor Ireland of Working Designs annouced that the Lunar: Silver Star Story
Complete Demo Discs have shipped yesterday and should be arriving to people
who reserved it at either Softwar Etc/Babbages and Electronics Boutique or
directly from WD. Also, as of April 15, they have finished the full version
of Lunar SSSC and are taking it to Sony to get approved.
I am really excited about the game for I am a big Lunar fan.
I am so glad that WD left Sega and came to Sony because Saturn was horrible.
Yesterday I was at Electronics Boutique and they let me play their Japanese
Dreamcast. I got to play Sonic Adventure. I fought and beat the 1st form of
Chaos. I guess you fight him throughout the game. The graphics are awesome,
pretty good music, the game moves fast. I did Sonic's Super Spin Dash and
went flying. Then I played the next level and Sonic was speaking in Japanese,
his voice was horrible, I couldn't help but laughing.

Another thing, if you look at pictures you would think that the DC controller
is huge. But the controller is not even bigger than an N64 contoller, it
feels good and comfortable in your hand. That's all I have to say, please
post this for the sake of Lunar fans every where, not many people know about
Lunar being finished.

TheDarkFLY - Fan of the greatest band, THE FLYS.

Michael:

No no, Lunar:SSSC doesn't exist. The promotional team slept through April first, else they would have announced it by now. Instead, they're delaying it till April first of next year, that way they can blame April fools, the Y2K bug and Nostradamus. Or at least pick from those.
On more sudden info, Lunar:SSSC and Shadow Madness have both been delayed again with a projected release date of April 2, 1901.

Star trech(k)[MAJOR Xenogears spoiler]

Dear Michael~

I have a question/concern which I think is very valid and worth
discussing, but my letters to Thor have continuously come up empty. I
think he has a personal vendetta against me for some unknown reason.
Anyway, this question is about Xenogears. I don't know if you have
played it or not, but maybe someone out there could give me a hand with
this question. I figured I'd give you, the weekend Q & A guy, a valid
chance to answer my concern. And now for your rite of passage... you
must run through the Gauntlet of Death while being probed with Klingon
pain sticks and listening to some bizarre mix of Brittany Spears and
N'Sync music at the same time. Eww... a Star Trek reference and an
N'Sync reference in the same sentence. I hope you don't hate me for
this. Fine, I will just let you pet a tribble instead. Here's my
question.

I remember a letter from a while back that explained that the "Episode
V" thing in Xenogears' ending was referring to how many lives Fei has
had. I didn't feel like digging through the archives to look for that
letter to read in detail, so I figured I'd ask again.

The way I see it, "Episode V" could not possibly refer to the number of
lives or personalities that Fei has had. First of all, Fei's "conciousness" has been around for 10,000 years, ever since he
crash-landed on the Eldridge. As the soul survivor of the crash, he was
Abel. That's one. When you return to the lighthouse later in the game
with Emeralda in your party, you see another movie sequence. The time is
unclear, but in it, Elly is eating dinner with Kim, a second existence
of Fei. That's two.

Fei shows up again 500 years prior to the present as Lacan. That's
three. Now, Lacan is the first one to exhibit the multiple-personality
syndrome, when he becomes Grahf. That's four. This then brings us up to
modern times. In the present, Fei is Fei. That's five. However, Fei has
two more multiple personalities inside of him, Id and the coward. So,
that's a total of seven. So, the way I see it, if I understand the plot
of this game at all, "Episode V" must refer to something else. Just from
the game we see that Fei has at least 7 lives (or conciousnesses), but
that is only what they show us. The Elly/Miang conciousness and the Fei
conciousness have existed through the generations for the last 10,000
years. Thus, it is reasonable to assume that Fei has lived countless
more lives than that.

Anyway, thank you for taking the time to read this, and I hope you can
help me with this question.
You are a good Q & A guy... and even though you apologized for your very
first column being so weird, I thought it was hilarious. Extremely
entertaining! Keep up the good work.
~Seth (No, not the one from Illusion of Gaia)
P.S. Does your email address, Neo, have anything to do with "The
Matrix"? That movie rocked my world.

Michael:

Actually, I think "Episode V" is itself a Star Trek reference from what I've been told(they had more jokes- Tolone and Seraphita cited ST a few times). Fei no doubt lived at least every 70 years or so within that 10,000 year span.
Hey, lend me a tribble or sixteen. I hear they're popular with the women these days, more so than Furbies.

While The Matrix was indeed awesome, my nickname has nothing to do with it. It's actually short for "Neoguardian", my own name that I made up for a science fiction story I wrote way back in 8th grade and have been using as an internet handle since. But the lowercase 8 letter limit only allowed for neo.

Thank ye, Seth. If hollywood goes any further in an attempt to seal my nickname, I call upon faithful readers like Seth here to defend and immortalize me in place of Keanu Reeves, Kevin Sorbo, David Hasslehoff or anyone else they can conjure for Hackers 3: the quest for 1337 m4d sk177z.

Oops

Michael (Holder of one of the most holy names)-

First thing, On the editorial page, your name at the bottom...still
has a link to Drew's e-mail address...you should probly change it to Neo
instead of DrewC...

Second thing, You said that you'd never bash Saga Frontier on RPGamer
again...Does that count for Saga2?

Third Thing, What's your favorite RPG (or top 3) if you've answered
this...then I've been very nautghty and I haven't been memorizing
everything...Shame on me...I deserve a spanking...

That's really all I have to say for today...

~Mike
Good

-Nothing is lost. Nothing is forgotten. It was in the blood, the flesh, and
now it is forever.-

Michael:

1) Oops. Er. (Make up!!!) ah. Better.

2) Not at all. Though it isn't likely I will... here's my logic: I'll be as fair a judge as any for Saga Frontier 2, but I'll wait for general opinion and reviews this time before buying it. Thus, if it's hated as terribly as the first I most likely won't buy it(I trust the general opinion of enlightened gamers, it more or less reflects my own often enough). If it's loved by all, I'll probably get ahold of it and chances are I'll enjoy it myself. Since if I don't buy it, I don't let myself bash it, and if it's a shoddy game I won't buy it, the chances of me being able to bash it are pretty slim this time(whew! "He spoke, and drank rapidly a glass of water"

3) I've said it before, but I'll repeat myself. My favorite RPGs are natually pure bred Squaresoft, but I dare not classify any as my absolute favorite. I suppose a top 3 may be good enough: Final Fantasy 4, Xenogears and Crono Trigger. I think. Maybe. Oh wait, then there's...

the vanishing staff

Hey Mike-without-Ike,

I was walking down to another news area (namely, the GIA) after I had
received word that former RPGamer Brian Glick had started to work at the GIA.
Upon getting to the staff profiles, I found four other former RPGamers there:
Brian Maniscalco (former music guy, once did Q&AK...he ACTUALLY posted my
questions!!), Allan Milligan (one-time-"Ask me" guy), Andrew Vestal (actually
a Square Net worker), and the FOUNDER of this site, Andrew Kauffman (Q&AK!).
Also, I saw Fritz Fraundorf, who if my memory serves me right, wrote a FF7
Christmas story (Tifa's house got knocked down) back when Erin Tidwell
(Wagner) was Fanfic person. What happened to Erin anyway? Mike didn't want
her working on page anymore??

Erin left for lack of time, and the rest left for their own reasons. It does seem like GIA is a sanctuary for ex-RPGamer employees, but they have their own method to their own madness, just as we have ours. Don't ask me where that came from. I'm either dull, down, cryptic, scatterbrained or random(or a mix) tonight.

a winner

"I didn't pick up anything! It's called common sense!" That's from
Chrono Trigger, when Marle suggested to her dad that royalty were just
like everyone else and her dad said that she picked up some strange
ideas outside. So there.
-BluesMojo

Michael:
You got it. I'm ashamed, I didn't even remember that one and I'm a Crono Trigger fanatic. You're more worthy than I, sir. Tell you what. I'll let you take my place for a day in exchange for a healthy 5% of your spare time(and your firstborn).
Anyhow, meet the RPGamer crew at 6:30am Eastern tuesday morning at the Statue of Liberty to pick up your grand prize of all ten million copies of E.T. for the Atari 2600, formerly buried in Roswell New Mexico after the marketing disaster(no joke). Sell them to 2d purist cults for a penny each and pay the IRS
Their dues.

a grizzled oldbie?

Hey, newbie. Couple of questions here.
1) Do you know of any sites, at all, that have info (faq, walkthru, etc.) on the Super Famicom game 'Villgust'?
2)Do YOU have a cutesy lil' anime portrait?
Whole lotta buncha thanks,

Poppin Fresh

Michael:

1) try www.gamefaqs.com

2) soon, very soon. It's just a pencil drawing of me, kinda charly-brownish. I didn't draw it, though. One person did one for all of us on the floor here.

umm...ah...(script!) oh yeah. I'm the dork who used to hang out on the Prodigy bulletin boards way back in 1992, when I was 14. Only now I've grown up and gone through puberty(sorta). I already received a letter from two friends remembering me, so if any other 'Arcadians' are out there, it's me! =)

Huh? What am I talking about? If you have to ask you'll never know(heh). This is my little corner, and I can be as cryptic or inside as I want.
On another note, I received a few more letters that I'm saving for tomorrow in the hope I'm in a lighter mood. So if your letter wasn't printed, don't go postal on me yet(okay, Mr. Lansing?!).

RPG Darwin Award:

"A, um, friend of mine was playing Breath of Fire I. He fared well until
he hit Romero, when he had to go to the "Western Cave" to get the healing
water, or some such nonsense. This, friend, wandered all over the known
world looking for said cave, noticing a structure that fit the
description surrounded by trees. Because this was the only cave within
walking distance, he spent a good 3 hours trying to find some secret
entrance to the elusive cave.
Then someone told him that the wolf-guy can walk through trees. Hmm."