EARTH MINDS ARE WEAK

Justin Fox makes minicomics: Earth Minds Are Weak, 21st-Century Depression Comics and I Dreamed of You and Mr. Eybyaninch. All with Cliff Face Comics.
This is his work blog.

Thursday, December 31, 2009

THIS USED TO BE THE FUTURE (20-01)

When you read this it will probably be next decasde. Good on you. I hope you celebrated in style, whether this was a good year an good decade a good century or bad on all three.

Tonight, we're drinking one part Johnny Walker, juice of half a lemon, 1 tablespoon on sugar, about one part orange juice, a dash of angustura, a couple drops of grenadine, in a tumbler with ice garnished witha cherry and a slice of orance. Go out decade, go out like a lion.

20. T.I. feat. Rihanna — Live Your Life

I'm kind of surprised how much I loved both T.I. and Rihanna at the end of the decade. I think the robogirl and one of the two best southern rappers pretty much combined for a cheesy, uinneccessary sloganeerining that I need to type to one-handede, cause I am lifting my glass to it. This was the most im,portant lesson of theis decade, and this cot to be the closing credits.

19. Modest Mouse — Dark Center of the UniverseI'm not evcen sure what the best Modest Mouse song of the decade is supposed to be, but when that basstomtom combo rumbles in, I'm once again in that cosmic cspace War of Kings on the prairie Drax in Alaska major tom wth the quantum bands And then: I'm sure anyone can equally, easily fuck you over. m They make guitars sound like that and when this hits you in the headphones or across the room blaring from speakers or destroying Irving Plaza or alone with the alien, nothing else matters. Hold onto this, because again, they will easily fuck you over.

18. Aesop Rock — None Shall passi didn't know it was uncoil to like Ae, i knew it certainly wasn' cool, but I had no idea it was uncool. Fuckit buttanut nerdarhymesling . The sooper simple house beat, the ridiculous rhyme structure. You can't play this too loud and listening to him rhyme is like being five anfd watching your dad do something impossible. That's he guy you want to be. I am trying to help.

17. T.I. — What You KnowI seriousy thought that kanye or Jay Z would dominate the top of my hiphop lists, but here's T.I. in again double douce couce to the dome in the top twenty. I ddind'y like the TI TIP albuym. I didn't even like Rubberband man. But THIS album, playing out of evey car every storefront on one seroouisly hot summer this was the last grewasat anthem of the New York streets one of those summers you wonder if this id the last New York summer. it wasn't the last one, but it felt like it. Shit this might all be VALIS. Maybe it was the last summer. The red king is beaming some light in my eyes. What do i know.

16. M.I.A. — Paper PlanesMan, sometimes you know someone. Someotimes you know them and they put you in a place and no one knew that place wasn't any good. But then this comes on the bar and it was just before this came on every bar and this came on and i had a place to go. i remembered i was a hustler making my fame and where i was didn't matter and the people who didn't know mr didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was, no one else could listen to this song when they heard it, and i rememebred that i could be the little shit, because that's who you gotta be sometimes to get your little pieve.

15. Kylie Minogue — Can't Get You Out of My Headmaybe your life isn't my life, but i don't know. There are momen'ts. That time you finally meet people in school or online or whaever and someone says something about whatever. Masturcation. Nonone really talked aboutit. We koked. We insulted. But we never sat arounf the floor and talked boys and girls anbout this thing we all did and needed that release that amazing release that comes when you talk about something taboo. i was taslking to Willie one night at the old Blind Tiger anfd theis came on and he said, "I dont care what you thik, I can't get this out of my head. The song is what is it says it is. It's fucking 2001. The movie is the monolith. The song is something you can't get out of your head. Contemplating the movie makes us evolve. Getting this into your head means you can't fget this out of your head.

14. Missy Eliot — Get Your Freak OnHOLLA! This is a great song. but that's the motherfucking turing point. Get your freak on. Its a call to action. Did i say this already? It's a call to action. This si the marching orders. This is Patton this is the vital fluids I think we'd all see oursleves tewn years ago staring at us across the devoid and we would see the aliens we had become. We had to get some freak on and then we came back with evil goatees and we couldn't touch ourselves cause the uinivesres might explode.

13. Rihanna — Shut Up and DriveThis migth surprise you, but i don't go to a lot of clubs where they play the latestyed r&b and dance songs, so i was a little behind on Rihanna (oy! there's a visual i'll take into the next decade). I don't talk a lot during it, but i love smotth limosene rides anyway. This song is fantasy wish fulfilment. You know that if you close your eyes hard enough, you might acrully have her yell at you like Gianna Michaels and tell you to get your fucing act together, man up, stick a bayonet on it if necessary and get to fucking work. infrastructure motherfucker.

12. Talib Kweli — Get ByYou know the scene when Cutty goes out and runs through baltimore and he sees all the stories and he's lisneing to some Curtis? This is our morning somng. I don't jog anymore, but someotimes i gotta get somewhere in the morning and sometimes it doesn't sound even remotely worthwhile. Sometimes you just need to get by.

11. Ghostface Killa — Apollo KidsMaybe some of the best words ever spit (the Raekwon lines are great too, but already). I think this was the trick Nick pulled once:

Yo, check these up top murderousSnowy in the bezzle as the cloud mergesF.B.I. try and want word with thisKid who punked out bust a shot uip in the beaconCatch me in the corner not speakinCrushed out heavenly, U.G. rock the sweet daddy long fox minksChicken and brocolli, Wally's look stinkyWith his man straight from Raleigh Durham, he recognized KojakI slapped him five, Masta Killa cracked his tiny formE'rybody break bread, huddle aroundGuzzle that, I'm about to throw a hand in your bagSince the face been revealed, game got realRadio been gassin niggaz, my impostors scream they illI'm the inventor, '86 rhymin at the centerDebut '93 LP told you to EnterPunk faggot niggaz stealin my lightCrawl up in the bed with grandma,beneath the La-Z-Boy where ya hid ya knifeGhost is back, stretch Cadillacs, fruit cocktailsHit the shells at Paul's Pastry RackWalk with me like Dorothy tried to judge theseplush degrees, said the cow, wrap the feesGettin waxed all through the drive-thruTake the stand, throw my hand all on the Bibleand tell lies too, I'm the ultimatesplash the Wolverine Razor Sharp ring, Dolomitestudent in role holdin it

[Ghostface]A pair of bright phat yellow Air MaxHit the racks, stack 'em up Son, $20 off no taxStreet merchant tucked in the cloud, stay splurginRock a eagle head, 6-inch height was the birdMonday night Dallas verse Jets, dudes slid in with one handTwo culture-ciphers, one bag of wetHeavy rain fucked my kicks upWasn't lookin, splashed in the puddleBitch laughin, first thought was beat the bitch upMossied off gracefully, New York's most wanted tee-ball hawkSeen the yellow brick road, lust of pastriesSame Ghostface, holy in the mindLast scene: Manhatten ChaseWe drew the six-eight digit in the briefcaseRawness, title is Hell-boundQuick to reload around faces, surround look astound

DISCUSS.

And now it's time for a breakdown. Man, I know my decade wasn't your decade, but i hope someone gets something out of my sums. Maybe you see a little bit of you reflected in the glint of an i or the cross of a t. I will say there are things i left out. I didn't inclufde anything by people i know personally (although that's not why i left out Bjork and Moby ah, i think those tales of nothingness might end tonight, finally). A lot of songs that mean the most to me are songs i can't tell you about because i'm not sure how to help you hear them. I think Blogger is supposed to give me more capapabilitiesm, but the new functions don't work for me, so i'm stuck eith the old, but if i could i still souldn't because obviously,m the music the meant the most to me was the music of the Suave Prospects.

I guess you can go here. I'd listen to The Body Malone. I don't know who maintains our myspace these day... if anyone does... but it hasn't been maitained in forever. I don't know. Whatever.

Top 10:

10. Estelle — American Boy — feat. Kanye WestSo, i like the idea of being somoene's boy, and Estelle sounds like i's like that, and i'm American, and i always prefer girls coming to me going. And i think these girls are more international than me. At some point i became domestic. I'm not sure how i let that slip. But You gotta accept. Embrace. And become moreso. Plus Kanye! i have no patiences for anti-Kanye sentiment. Just like I have no patience for the hatred of clowns. I probably have no patience for you, either. Fucking Taylor Swift. Fuck that fake Roswel looking girl with her fake video about a fake sentiment and her fake song that lies to girls. Fuck that shit. No one shoulda let her finish. Anyway, this is fantastic. A lot of livingroom dancing went to this song. A lot of bad dancing on my part, but it was real, and this about something real and real bad dancing to a real great song will always be better than fake dancing to a fake song sung by some fake person. Seriously though, this is some joyous shit, but people been needin gettin a yelling at. Enjoy the fucking joy motherfuckers and stop ruining shit!

09. Moderat — A New ErrorThe song of the last year of the first decade of the seventh sun of the seventh son and the house of the rising sons. It's supposed to be a blue moon tonight. An articalle i read claimed people standing in Times Square would be able to see the second full moon of the month. People in Times Square. Apparently New York can't afford blinding light plution this year. Calafiore! Can you see the blue moon?! This is the song of the year for me. I think there's actually one song from 2009 ahead of this, but that song is like time travel. This was this year. Best techno song of the decade, that circular rythm and the timelapse streaming headlights along the jughandle this is getting from here to there. This is the journey. This is rain and snow and wind and walking and running and taxis and the subway and hands and bodys and this is her eyes at the right moment looking over a glass a straw still barely in her mouth this is getting there as quickly as possible and shirts flying across the living room and laughing this is the world moving faster than you and then you stopping for a second before you overtake the world. I ran faster than anyone i knew this year. I was running for more than six months and I've only stopped now to read this shit. I experienced relativity in all it's metaphors and I got closer to the speed of light than anyone should dare.

08. Burial — Archangeli went off on this one in a future blogpost former message board post. So I won't talk about alternate realities or the park or drinking of alternate Earths or anything like that. Tonight, this song isn't split between realities. i can crab this baby like i sometimes can. it's one seemless. if someone advertised the night I dream of having this is the jingle. This is my hype willaims and terry gilliam directed at the loungean everyone is there. Gin and juice.

07. The Fucking National — Mistaken for StrangersThey didn't play this the day we saw them. You knew immediately that they didn't play irt. YOu knoew this was the one. The one where Joy Division and leonard Cohen mumbly bojangles finally merged with morphin and made a nearly perfet song. Two ships passing in the night. You get mistaken for strangers by your own friends. Who are you? This was the refrain soe people kept asking me and i kept asking myself. Who are you? We asked it at different times. The stranger they didn't recognize was usually me, the stranger they thought we me to a t was the one i didn't know.

06. Radiohead — National AnthemRunning home to stream Kid A a week before it came out. I made that apartment dark. This was a band every album was better than the last. I didn't know it, but this would be the last time this was true. this was the tip of the bell curve. Who knew we were on an iceberg when that goddam ship hit us. Anyway, this shit freaked me out and then this bass kicked my ass. It kicked my ass through the couch in my dark living rooomm alone. it's build and build forever. Somoene sadi Americans like are fucking crescendo and welll: National Anthem. This shit crescendos you before it turns to entropy of horns like Bill Pulman in Lost Highway when aabatebjsajdzhcdnbcdbjcdbjxzbjkbn HORNS! I mean, it even underminse eveything. He startes singing and your all lilke maybe that was the decrescendo but then... And to see this live with full horn section. Statue of Liberty glowing behind them in Jerset City a walk to see radiohead play the national anthem in front of the stustue af libery. Shoulda called the album Fuckin A.

05. The Antlers — TwoSo. I went to see the Antlers play a couple weeks ago. One of the est concerts I've been to, even if every single one of you bailed on me. I found some Russian-lookin guy from Chicago. I found a gorgeous black girl. I found her Clark Kent boyfrined. He rubbed my shoulders while I wep-t. The whole show was am,azing. but this song. I could not stop crying. I have never cried at any concert ever. I went to a show where i stole a g string. And I went to a show where i almost hooked up with Donna A but then knocked a table of drinks on her instead. I went t o s a show and a girl plated my body like drums. And I went t o a show now where I cried. I wept. I was beautilful.

This song. This came out this year, but it's not the song of the year. It's the song of 2005. This album. This band. This guy. He makes an album called Hospice for fuck'se sake. Let's do a whole album about dying alone and with someone else. Songs about watching everyone else watching you die. All the shit of death. Children dying. The thing about that buffy episode? The body? Where it captures all the not tv cliche shit and instead is all about the boredom and the stupidity and the pitiful sight and experience of death. Nothing is stupider than fucking death. It's the fucking stupidest thing in the world. Anyone who reduces the stupidity of death to righteousness or justifyablenss or cleverness or shallowness doesn't undestand the stupid fucking joke of death. It's nonsense. It's pointless. It's worthless. It's the worst thing in the fucking world. I'm tired of dying. I'm tired of being alone. I guess I'm glad I remember you when i don't know why I'm putting up with stupid shit. And maybe losing you reminds me not to stop. That life is more important than existing. But then: that's the joke again. Why lose something great just to remember that things should be better? Nothing i do will ever make up for it, but i might not have tried so hard if I hadn't. But then, soemtimes too I shut down when i should be moving faster. The joke. The fucking joke. No one believed you. We thought that you were lying. That was four months before you died. I guess I'm glad we went skinny dipping after your wake. The joke needs a punchline. Fucking death. Fuck you.

04. Lady Gaga — Just DanceJust dance. Just do it. L:isten. We hav a lot of work to do. A lot. Why diid I answer the phone. ? Well, I guess I can end the year listening to my mom tell me how good the fourth Die Hard movie is! Where was I? Just dance. Just do it. We havve a lot of work to do. A ot. But right now. Right this minute. What are you going to do? Just dance. Like get yr Freak on, its the call of action, unlike it, you can do it too. And i like doing it together.

03. R. Kelly — Ignition (Remix)Have you heard the non-remix? Why does that even exista assa song/ Man. Serious. So this was the song that broke the walls of Jericho (prodiy warning1). This made me stop being so goddam 90s. We were so fucking serious. Andy's big bit about this decade was his transformation from that guy to the guy that finally embraced it. Embrace it. Kells! I could not deny this song. This was a fat girl after a bad break up. Thgis is just one drink come on! This is that girl who will never go out with you but wants a drawing. You can not say no. TYOu can nnot. No one can say no. This is almost as close to a perfect song as you can get this decade witout being the two songs better than this. But on top of theat, i want to bring up two things:

For the second half of this decade, Me Mike Marcos Bruce and peter and whoever else we have hosted the Hotel lobby after after party at SPX. These are macig nights adn the only thing missing is Kells. Kells! Come to SPX!@ We'll make a comic together! We'll have watersports! We'll drink! Dave NP will be there! Maybe Jordan! Maybe the Spanish Antonio Banderas Randy Chang! Maybe Kenny! Kelly and Kenny! Together again for the first time! Welcome to SPX, R Kelly, hope you enjoy the saty!

02. Missy Eliot – Work ItThis almost is the most perfect song of the decade. There are more hit songs in this song than there are in fifty hit songs. Every line could be the best hook in the greatest hits of forever and they're all squeezed together like charmin. Don't squeeze it? Don't listen to that old man. Squeeze that shizzle. Squeeze the Missy. Put your thing dowon and reverse it. Again, I railed on this alread and i don't know how much more i have to say, but damn. Damn. Every bit of this song is science. And not the boring science the science that makes a race of Ape men that take ove rht e world that kind of science. Godzilla ascience. kaiju sex music. Go badunkadunkdunk. If you got a big whoooo1 Last thing. one of my dad's favorite bits is sticking his finger out the open fly of his pants and making elephant noises while faking erections. That's in my chromosomes. missy wrote this song for me. Now i gotta write a song for her. She deserves is.

01. Beyonce — Crazy in LoveSo, this I knew was the song of the decade for a long time. My only fear was being sick of it i;'ve loved it so much so long. One time.

I forgot to get champagne! Actually. I forgot to get prosecco! The smart man's champagne. Beougolais, what wil you do for me. Beyonce what will you do for me? Jay Z what will you do for me? New year what will you do for me? Decade what will yuou do for me? Ladies what will you do for me? Al;l the fellas what will you do for me? Comics what will you do for me? Friends what will you do for me? Countrymen what will you do for me? lately what will you do for me. Play the song. We're running out f decade!!!!!!!!!

Oh, it's my girl, B. and my boy, Hov.

Dentist Elbows. Ranch-filled Hot Dogs. my friends. The best friends anyone has ever had. it's not always the easiest ride, it's not always the driver in the drivers' seat. We were fantastic. The documents of our passing will be legend. We will love hard. Friends. Lovers. Passers by. We will love hard. We are crazy in love with each other only one time. The time that lasts as long as we are together. Our love makes us crazy. our crazy is what keeps us together. its the good kind. the great kind. the I just walken in this joint and made it epic kind. We are in love. Fucking embrace that shit. love hard, die dutch.

Mix all the alcohols and juices and fruits in a great big, giant bowl/pot. Cover. Let it sit overnight. Serve in glasses full of ice. Cut with club soda (if you're in my family and you think "it smells like alcohol!"). Garnish with a maraschino cherry.

If I did it all again, I might increase the parts per of simple syrup. Maybe reduce the malbec. I think it smells like raspberries, but what do I know?

Monday, December 21, 2009

THIS USED TO BE THE FUTURE (49-21)

Quarter cup of Jim Beam, half a lemon's worth of juice, quarter cup of simple syrup (not heated), a few shakes of angostra bitters, ice, shaken, in a tumbler.

My friend Keenon is doing youtube links for his songs. i'm going to se if I can manage that. Hmmm... the sound quality isn't great. Also, many aren't actually videos at all. They're just accompanied still images. Tis the season!

49. Disfear — Get it Off

What a way to start! Or, should I say, whattawaytastart!!!!!!! I've never listened to Disfear before and bought this D-Beat, hardcore album solely because a guitarist from Entombed had joined the band. i almost always listen to this when getting off the World Trade Center to psyche myself up for the coming night. I just wannaaaaa Get it off! Get it Off !Get ist off!!! Get it off! Yeah!

48. Neurosis — Given to the Rising

it actually takes a little while for the awesome to kick in on this song. Right now, we're in the breakdown and I'm trying to rmember why i put it up so high. Dark, sludge OH! Then it gives to the Rising! The fatal flaw in maaaaan!!!!

47. Deastro — Parallelogram

I got all this guy's stuff just because I loved this so much! Bop diddy bopbop diddy bop bop diddy diddy bop This is the brightest shiniest song in the world like golden goblets spinning in an angel's eyes. Redeems the world this one song. If some alien ever comes down to questino humanities worth, this will be our klaatu barada nikto and THE. EARTH. WILL. NOT. STAND. STILL. We will shake booties.

46. The Bug feat. Warrior Queen — Poison Dart

Adding a splash of OJ this time. My goodness. liquid candy.

I think Ben Sansum introduced this to me last year. I distincly remember thinking, "Someone has finally made dub you can listen to!" I've seen it in action, and in action and I get it. But to actually listen to? And then I heard it again and forgot i already had a copy of it so i got one, and I distincly remember thinking, "Oh that's great." And then I think Kevin Church included in his best-of-the-year list, and I thought, "Oh man, I love this song! Why don't I have a copy?! It's time to give in." So I bought a copy. i now have three different digital copies of this song. The one 'm listening to right now is my favorite though. Anyway, that shit pounds and it's half as slow the closer it gets to earth. And it's a huge sound pound.

45. The Flaming Lips — Do You Realize??

i don't man, say what you will, but he's asking you if you realize you're gonna die, man, t's deep shit man. Everyone's got to have a carpe diem thing to link to and don't tell me it's trite when you're all caught up in something and you forget it or it doesn't apply to you at that moment because you got responsibilities and shit. We all forget, and it's nice that there's a reminder that sounds this good.

44. Grandaddy — Broken Household Appliance National Forest

If you told me these guys and Grizzly Bear were the same guys, I would believe you. Galactic Woods Cabin Ghost Epics. Plus, once the fuzzy fuzzy kicks in, the whole thing kicks in. Rocky fuzz. Also, the title is half the chorus and it's one of the best choruses of the decade.

43. lady Gaga — Bad Romance

oh hell yes I'm including the official HD video with this shit. If, for some reason, you haven't seen tis thing.

So, ther's some hatar scuttlebutt for lady Gaga, is what I've been told. Amazing. You whatnots. Do people really have so much time on their hands they can resist this? Anyway, this is the song for New Year's Eve. Love love love I want your love. This could be in the top three if i had a little more time with it, but we're running out of decade! Everything is perfect, and i can't wait to have the night this was made for. I want your bad romance. i can't think of anything i want more right now, and i've had some. Love beautiful, end it ugly.

42. Cold Pumas — Jela

i've listened to a surprising number of rhythm-heavy noise band duos over the decade, and a few get in here: Lightning Bolt = less dancey, No Age = more dancey, Cold Pumas = let it bounce little bear. Especially with jela. I could pogo this so hard, you'd call me Walt Kelly.

looking for the video, I discovered Hauschka is a dude. This is very disappointing. Oh well. "prepared" piano, cellos and exactly the sort of thing you expect to hear when you're having your "I'm in a film!" moment. You're riding a train and Jason Shwartzman is sitting across from you, or you start squinting a Luke Wilson, everything is meaningful and you're looking out a window, brooding, you wish you had a rooftop to brood upon, but that lousy Daredevil is always kicking you off. "My corner! My corner! You find other corner!" Daredevil is such a jerk. So now I'm on a train and my face is pressed up against this glass and i know i shouldn't have left, but i got things to do, baby. Things to do. It was a mistake, alright? But there's no way in hell I'm taking it back because we still have half the third reel to go and what? Oh, this is the part where I realise I screwed up and changed my mind? i'm going to run around looking for you as soon as this song ends/ is that what i'm doing? man, this had better not be 12 Monkeys.

40. Jay-Z and Punjabi MC — Beware of the Boys.

Man, i really thought raga would conquer music for three minutes back then. I still think that if jay wants to be Sinatra, this is his new York, New York. Screw that Empire. This is Knight Rider, raga and Jigga functioning united Nations shit. New York, India and Germany.

39. Fuck Buttons — The Lisbon Maru

I don't know a what a lisbon maru is. It sounds like kirk might've done it in Spain though. Tiberius slept here. They said it was impossible, but he cheated. Whatever. This is the promise of the Fuck buttons. This is the olympic themesong for the Awesome Olumpics! No more crappy olampix! No! Thise is the AWSWSWOMWE Olympics!!!! And this is what we're running for! I've got a torch in one hand and the Nazis held back with the other Hitler, we will prove you are not the master race with torches and soccer and triumph and swimming and then maybe apartheid will be ended with Bourne soccer and then people will run in chariots of fire, and the natural will hit the lights and Erika Johnson and Frasier's wife will be there to try and seduce us like Racquel Weltch. And then the Nazis will learn they can't mess with us and Kirk.

38. Au Revoir Simone — Shadows

Sure, I suspected cuteness, but this is the first time I'm seeing the video. If only yhte video had the mp3 sound quality and didn't low down my ancient computer i could type and oggle. What evs. This is what a pretty pop song should sound like . Exactly. it;s prettty. Musicaly pretty. And poppy. And that organ is a little dark. I'm incorrigible! (I actually hate the message a little bit and usually run away from girls who tell me they are weka without me... it's not my shadow— that's actually me)

37. Boris — Furi

Um... this is a live version. it's not quite as recorded.

i don't know what "furi" means in Japanese, but i'll tell you what, it might mean "Fury" When these guys go furious hooky psychedelic metal, they win. They win a lot. This song is like the world series of winininnning. Get up! Guitar! Hero! Get up! guitar! Hero! i don't care if that's not wha tthey're saying with their words, it's what they're saying with their guitars!~

36. M83 — Kim & Jessie

The fan-made video has better sound and embedding. Why wouldn't you want to embed it? Oy.

So, i had an M83 song and i liked it. Then I heard more and freaked out. I was punching the internet and demanding someone someone someone tell me who these people are someone tell me! Who are these people. Two songs couldn't be more different. Both good, both so different. Then I ate everything M83. And then Kim & Jessie. Remember when 80s revivalism started in 1990 and ever since then every 19 year old girl has rediscovered the 80s? On Friday, a girl thought doing Creep karaoke was dumb, and that we should be doing something cool like Journey. You weren't even alive for Journey! You just turned 24! This relationship will never work. Creep is a good song. We were teenagers when Creep came out. We've already done about 12 80s revivals. Stop revivaling the 80s! You look like a bunch of Renfesters! Thanks for the numer, but I don't think I'll call you. However, yes, thanks for the number. I t does make me feel good about myself.

So, you know how we all idolize the 80s? This is the song we all think came out then. But it didn't it came out in the oos. This is Our false memory rendered real like a sci-fi machine. This is Kim & Jessie. This is the M83 and they don't toss shit out the windows and have plague like they had in the real Renaisance, they play human chess and call you milord and give you big legs of meat and there's a beer tent, but everyone is beautiful.

I didn't get into the Waaves very much but then people started covering them and revealing great songs beneath all the brbsfrhbgsdibfdfzbg... Anamanguchi did a great microhouse cover and then His Clancyness basicall y did it up. Bows. Gold paper. He hedrixed your dylan. Cobained your Jesus. This is fantastic. It's I'm so tired the way whenever i think I'm so tired I start singing I'm so tired, when I'm so bored I can't help but sing this song. Also, there's ripped jeans to shorts, sunkissed and curved, and there's not likeing jerks. No one likes jerks.

34. Fucked Up — Son the Father

There's also some cool live versions of this.

So sometimes on All Songs Considered, they get this dude to walk acreoss the studio and tell them what non-sappy new music is out there. Enter Canada's Greatest Gift since... Neil Young? Reimported drugs? The X-Files? Drawn and Quarterly? Brian Adams?

Eithy brazillon guitars. That's what you get. then the screaming starts. This is the most hardcore pink floyd ever sounded. holy shit. When I decided ths was the Fucked Up song, i forgot how awesome it was. was like, come on, this is awesome. Why aren't you feeling it? Usually it feels beter and all the pieces are there. Why isn't this working. Tonight i turned the volume up a little too high. This is a little too loud, My ears are bledding a litel mamAZzmzzy head is starting to get lost in space outer space. This song is one of the greatest songs of the decade. I'ts greatnetsss mad be understated. Oh god indeed!!!!!!!! I'm trying to add exclapasion pints to the high hat beat: 11 1 11111 11 111 !!!!!!!!!!! Now it's just swirling and fucking with ne.

33. Xiu Xiu — Hives Hives

This is a live version and not the version I am listening to. The quality is rotten.

This is the maybe the hardest song to talk about. It's about AIDS. Hives is HIV. This song is a bit transcendent. This The it's noisey and trancey and soft loud soft loud and epic and fragile and sad and uncomfortable and holding you safe in it's arms and painful. and beautiful. Sorry I don't have a better verion on the page.

32. jesu — Conqueror

Really, all these songs work so well together. This is the most beautiful thing Justin from Napalm Death ecver did. Big huge shoegave. I need some dimmer lights for this or nothing but bright sun. All dark or all bright. This in between is shitting me. Turn off some light sa nd get your sorry on or run through some grass go go go! Actually, walk around a tthe end of the night trying to fing teh subway. Walk the opposite way of pretty girls so you can see there faces and watch therr giggles get closer. Doppler pretty when you can.

31. Wild Beasts — The Fun Powder Plot

I'm in love. This just came out a little while ago, and it's basically Antony of the johnstons playing singing to ultra-danced up the Smiths and then he says "This is a booty call, my boot, my boot, my boot" i don't know what "Donkey Jar Diction" is, but i don't know what a Fun Powder Plot is Either. Do you know what a Money monet is? Exactly. What about that Trogs song.? Right. Put on some eyeliner or something.

30. modest Mouse — Float On

And here's Modest Mous doing the Cure and filming it. Or recording the adio/. I wish we hadn't missed the window on audio sex tape scandals. It's my favorite band. It's the last truly great song they've done. And it is great, even if it was on the radio. That's ok. We'll all float on.

29. Radiohead — Everything In It's Right Place

Surprizingly, this doesn't fit in that well. ironic or proof that i'm not making the greatest mix playlist ever? You decide. I love the way this hums so heavy for so long. You can listen to his words, but I'm someonwhere in thos chords.

28. Alcest — Souvenirs d'un autre monde

Yeah, there's no bass on thes e youtubes. needs more woofer.

Frenchshoegaze black metal. I assume they're all being very ernest here, but maybe not, They are french. But it's black metal and there's a little green girl playinf a flute in the woods. This is jesu taken to another level of high, elevated upthereness. Big big swooshing fuzzy guitars and trying to french your way into heaven. You can listen to this in the morning when you go to work and you can liten to this when you come home. You can listen to this with thte lights out and you can listen to this in the rain. It's sad and it's happy and its a dream of someone you loved and lost. and still love and miss and in the dream you're together still and you're trying to get her to go to the island, but she says she can't it's your turn and you think that's a silly thing to say of all the people who should go, she should go. But then you wake up and you realizes she was telling you she really can't go. But it's ok. I should go to the island/.

27. Daft Punk — One More Time

Again. there's no base. We're actually explicitly forbidden from using Alive 2007 in this list. No live versions of old songs, and Alive 2007 combines old and new and renders itself unusable! So, here's Did I say speaking of the French yet? I was gonna say that. A lot of Daft Punks' songs this decade ar actually a bit too thin for me, and they don't really become great until they're combined with something else, but this This is odl, Homework Daft Punk in the way that it initself is perfect. That's the longest breakdown in history maybe but then it's a revelation. i am always dancing when i'm lilisteing to this song. Alway. luckily, i'm not a very good dancer, so so few people even notice i'm dancing. But come on. message. beat. Horn synths. Uncrooss your arms and celebrate and dance so free one more time.

26. The Field — Over The Ice

Youtube and itunes were playing at the same time. and this went nuts. As much as i like the eeeeeeeeees It's the i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i I love the best. In a lot of ways, this song is totally reshaping the way i listen to music or expect it to sound like. 've listened to a lot of dance music and a lot of samples but this is well... it's hummy and it's fuzzy. again. There's a lot of fuzzy shit here. It wasa decade of fuzzy i guess. Did you enjoy your fuzzy decade? Yes you did! Yes you did! Go get the decade! Good girl! now bring the decade to me.

25. Santogold — L.E.S. Artistes

I guess the last "e' means it's ironic? man, if there's one thing new York has ruined, it's irony. new York might need to stop for a while and let someone else takeover, cause this shit is getting drastic. on the other hand, one night i spun so fadst around to this song i fell down. Don't spin when you're drunk on the dance floor. i mean, do it, because you will laugh, but don't do it witha drink actuallyin your hand and not wwhens o close to other people with drinks in their hands.

24. modest mouse — 3rd Planet

Here's that news van again. They're my favorite band, ok? I've seen them more than half a dozen times. yeah, we're not dancing anymore, but your heart felt good. I lika the science fiction. I lika the myths. I've read Cages a couple times. Creation Myths. I have one to. Everyone should have a creation myth, why not ty one to driving and circularity and why not have an awesome part sung through a megaphone?

23. Aaliyah — Try Again

I loved Aalyah so much. She's really the basis for everything good and terrible in R&B. Don't blame her for the terrible though. Just appreciate the beauty of the good. I have no special memory assciated with this song, i only have this song and how much I love listening to this song. wikiwikiwah

Okay, this s pretty crass too, I guess. Musically, I mean. it's just a light fluffy not-quite trance song. Still, you know what, I reall ybelieve she needs to be naked with me. And if anyone has this playing and they're dancing and it's in fron tof me and they're lipsyncing, I will totolly believe they feel the need to be naked with me and they better not turn around and sing this to some other guy because then i will get angry and then the night will suck because i'll know i should just let it go, but i won't because I am dumb. it's a good thing i'm also a weekling and a coward, because there's no way i'm gonna do anything about my anger. So, it's best if we just focus un being naked. With me.

So, don't bother wth the original. it will suck the love out of you. This on the other hand. This is how I discovered Au Revoir Simone and this... this was very special and Paris. I can't believe i'm saying this. But I really thought we were going to go to Paris. I thought we were really going to do it.i love this song and i love listening to it and I think it's nearly perfect, but it was also a promise that i thought we were really going going to fulfill. Well, we'll always have that time we were going to go to paris, I guess.

NOW ON TWITTER WITH THE REST OF YOOSE

This is the message where I tell you I've finally caught up to the rest of you in 2007 and signed up for the Twitter. So far, on Twitter, you will find exciting tweets like the last two directing you to this blog! Hopefully it won't be long before I find my proper Twitter voice, and I'll try not to narrate my life at 4-minute intervals (I'm looking at you, Stephen Fry).

Sunday, December 20, 2009

THIS USED TO BE THE FUTURE (71-50)

This Used to Be the Future was a Challenge posted by Andy Khouri to all and sundry to rate their 100 foavorite songs of the decade. The man is putting some serious work into it, posting mp3s and using spell check and well, it's all very professional. I, on the other hand, am getting increasingly blotto as i type. I am taking it serously, but my serious doesn't look like somethig you actually want to show other people. Tis the season!

In my previous post, I got all the way from Song 100 to Song 72. Then I got up and stretched my legs. Seemed like a good time. BUt i left off on a cliffhanger. My web browser is blocking the titles of the next songs and I'm at the point where anyhting could be a surprise to me. So where did we leave the dynamic Uno? danananaNAH!

71. Grizzly Bear — Two Weeksjosh brought up Grizzly bear the other night before everyone ditched me at the Antlers concert and i had to make new friends... but he saw me light up at the mention. MAn, everytime i listen to this album i love it more and more. If we do a best of the Decade 2007–2017 then this will be higher up there I'm sure. Did you know people in LA call 2001: A Space Odyssey call it Twenty Oh One: A Space Odyssey? Hollywood is crazy. Anyway, i don't know what i personallly invest in this song an but i know i love hearing it. it is haunting and spacey an Tommy James without the actually, i would love to go to the prom and dance to this song. Maybe as a chaperone. Ask around!

70. Eminem — Lose YourselfSo, i hadn't heard the song in a while but then Marcos and i were driving up from Philly after the little convention we did there and we actually had to use the car radio like it was a whole other century and then this came on and we turned that shit up because you know what IT"S STILL. And then, months later, the oppurtunity came and i blew it. Man, i shoulda listened to this song closer. Well, except the parts that talk about the actors, I'm not sure there's a digger dissonance than the moment when he mentions Mekhi Phifer. Anyway, whatever, raise your hand and keep a beat. Do it at home becasue I guess people laugh at you when you do it in public unironically,. Or so I have read.

69. Interpol — PDAWe. Have. All. These. Couches! 200. Whatever. I typed too fast. is he complaining about people making out in bars? Why is this called PDA? If you are making out in a bar and the bar is spinning around you and this song is playing it's awesome. You don't want to go home at all. You want to pull some muther goddamned couch out of a closet and fucking maki out in a bar on that couch! Everyone should see what you did and sometimes they will cheer. Ge t afucking standing ovation when you leave the bar and the next day play this song on your ipod and pretend this was the song playing because holy fuck you don;t know what the fuck song was playing last night you were making out so hard you got a fucking standing ovations!

68. Outkast — Hey Ya!How come Big Boi's album is called Speakerbooxxxx/love Below by Big Boi but Andre's album is called Speakerboxxxx/the Love Below by Outkast. What the hell, Big Boi? Why the hate? This song is still fun. It will always be fun. I got nothing. Maybe it's just one of the most fun songs ever and when we are old ou children will still be dancing to this song even if they don't know what a polarois is, its the Twist and they still play that at weddings and we still dance and if you don't really, you're making a statemnt at a wedding/ Who shit in your hair?

67. Fabolous — BreatheI thought this was gonna be the biggest song of the year. This was perfect. Breathe! Breathe! And then Fabulous is all Fabuluos' best and he really is. unfortunately it came out when rap songs went crunk and you had to rap at one sylabal per minute. I'm sorry that Fabulous didn't write Yeah! It's all flow. If you did an all-flow mix for Christmas of the Decade, that would be one thin mix, and half of it would suck. But the best part would have this.

66. Built to Spill — Goin' Against Your MindSo last year Built to Spill and Dinosaur Jr and the Meat Puppets played and Built was doing all of Perfect From Now On and the whole thing was this great big loud psychadelic show but it turns out that a band doing their full album isn't all that exciting and I was into it and it was the first show i'd seen in ages but it wasn't... i don't know. The Perfect From Now On part wasn't magic. We had found a prime spot at Terminal 5 between the bar and the railing and you could feel this show in your bones but i almost got into a fight with this one guy who tried to talk over full psychadelic metal verion of the Meat Puppets and fuck you dude but this cheerleader esque girl apologized for him and said it was this group's reunion, which, oy, brilliant planning, and i thought she was just the ambasador, but it turnd out most of that group left and she was there to see Built to Spill and would occasionall y grab me and dance a bit with the songs but man, i don't think any of us thought it was the best thing ever and then Perfect ended and fucking Built to Spill actually showed up and these drums kicked in and marcos and I were leaning on the rail and going nuts for it and this girl start playing my back as drums a nd grabbing me for hugs and i keep thinking i shoulod, turn around and take advantage ot that but the song is getting more intense and he's telling me it's going against my minf and i don't know if that means i should go against my mind and not turn around or turn around because my mind is telling me not to turn around or if this is what's going against my mind and the thing going against my mind idsst the thing i'm fighting or should be going with and the floor was rumbling and the posts were shaking and my back was throbbing from the pounding that she is laying into me and I love this song but i still don't know if i should;''ve turned around or not turned around bcause holy fuck it's ging against my mind! She left beofre the last encore and the girl who was going to turn into my girlfriend texted me after and i went home wondering why i stopped going to concerts and i remmebered it was because of the smoking ban but I had quit smoking.

65. The Ravonettes — Aly, Walk With MeI love this creepy little song. Don't walk with her Aly. Seriously. If haven't listened to this asong yet, you should get away from her. I can't even tell you what's going to happen because it's just an assault of noise , but i bet it's not good.

64. Kanye West — All Falls DownI love Kanye, and if he didn nothing but this song I would still love him. I can still remember Evelyn's face when she heard some of these lyrics and I realized no one had ever really written this song before. How often do you get a song that's snever been written before? Man, i got myself a pretty hot jacket. i'm glad i got friends.

63. Narcotic Thrust — I Like ItI like it when we go to Extremes. I do. We used to make fun of this song and then I realized i wasn't laughing anymore. I do like it when we go to extremes. Not only in my dreas. This song isn't meaningful in an way. i'ts crass house. it's the least extreme song ever written. it's all about hating things that are dull and liking things that are exciting right? I hade the treadmill every day. I hate the mundane things they say (presumably not the treadmills) But it's all this semi-robot woman over some Webster hall 1993 beat and syths and the bright lights are beckoning her aqpparently because the song isn' distractiing her that 's for sure. But then you hear this som many times and if you just reduce yourself down to cardboard for seven minutes of something then man, you will also like it when we go to extremes. You will like it so much. I''m not even laughing!

62. Rob Sonic — DyslexiaThis song rocks my shit. I was making a party mis years ago and i knew something from this would be on it because every cool dudes party mix has some track on one knows, and i played the album and would put one track on and then get to the next one and o out that one on and then get to the next track and put that on and i was all like wait, i know there's one track that stands out so much i NEED it in a mix but i just kept adding tracks to the mis thinking they all belonged and then I would hit this and the roof of your house blew off the roof and there was another roof inside and it blew it off. It blows of roofs like Caruso puts on glasses.

61. Apparat & Ellen Allien — RetinaThis stories the same, except this was for a mix i did for a cool party I was gonna throw but didn't for more than the obvious reasons. i got this off som whim and i hadn't listened to techno is forever but i listened to this and then I was grabing germans and Detroit and watching this great documentary about Detroit TRechno and falling in love like I was on Ricki lake and someone from highschool put me on a "How Do You Like Me Now" and was an ugly nerd like me once and then came out from back stage looking like a stripper and I was upset I didn't ask her out but now we were gonna go to the ground Round for dinner like we always wantss. Cello, robot highway, it's dark and hell is cold and uncaring. God you, look so hot.

60. Mastodon — The Last BaronHow do you do Rasputin and not get Mignola on that shit? The only thing this song needs is a cyborg gorrilla or a fish man. But I am starting to wonder about the order. Retnia flowed into this like Rasputin himself worked the magic. Anyway, the first thing said is :I guess they would say, we could set this world ablaaaaaaaaaaze!!!!!!" And then the earth falls. Over under some ocean of sweeling guitars. I think there's a magic crystal of time travel and a lost sister you can't let go of but together we could and then it kicks in with riffs! Metal riffs! But it's a tease. Then riffs! And then drums and then IT"S A WHOLE NEW SONG or rhthym! Then another song of pounding! Then rhthym. And it works not like a lot of mathy metals. Every change just now we're in some kind of jabberwocky tunenel shaken and then chimey rhthms if they ever do metal Wonderlad, this is jump after that robot rabbit and drink me eat me touch me me feel me swirling through the dimensions 2001 lightshows what othe thing OZ! The tornado! Do youthink they were watching Dark Side of The Wizard when they did this? We need more movies where people go to another world through crazy. Forbidden Zone.

59. R. Kelly — Trapped in the Closet (Chapter 4)Movies that take you to a df=fferent diminesion. How do you pick one song? And do you just jo with the midget? The greatest hiphopera of the decade and beyond, one of the most brilliant things ever. Can there actually be one chapter, one track that rises about the rest? Chapter 4 starts with Kells speeding down the highway to see the wife he thinks is cheatin. And then he sings, "Woo Woo Woo Woo Here comes a police man" and if that isn't genius, whell then, in the video OMAR shows up and rights Kells a ticket and in your memory maybe that bit is the whole chapter but it isn't, cause Kells get home in this chapter and sneaks into his own house to catch his cheating wife and she tells him that dude on the phone was her brother just out from prison and Kells knew it and feels like a fool and then the two have sex and he narrates the whole thing he's going down on her then ther'e this romanict love making and then the wife goes nuts with ravaging the details in this thing! And then it gets to the most brilliant moment in the history of music. He gets a cramp and here's the line, "I say cool, climax. Just get off my leg!" And THEN ther's a twist ending too! But has anyone anywhere anyone anywhere ever written a song that involves getting a cramp during sex? Who hasn't gotten a cramp during sex in the vast history of sex, anyone who ever had sex got a cramp and it took until this song before anyone wrote a song about it. What else have we done? Write some songs about that dhit!

I think the dog just peed on the couch AND we're out of ice.

58. Destiny's Child — BootyliciousI thought I was gonna put so many Destiny's Child songs o this but it turned out writing was on the last decade. I don't like switching bourbons when there's no ice. I need a buffer! I shake my jelly at every chance. The breakdown is all about jelly. She DOES use jelly. Damn you, Coyne. I think more people would tell me i wasn't ready for this jelly if more people realized A that it is jelly they are saying And B that they have jeyy and 3 that that jelly shoulkd be shook in my face and espoused upon.

57. Young Jeezy (feat. Kanye West) — Put On That's right, he works for NASA. I don't know if YJeezy is bragging about frintin or talking about the clothes he wears and how he puts them on, I'm actually not sure about a lot of shit in this, but he sings about asparagus and Brock O'Lee and NASA and then it's all bragging and then kanye comes in and autotunes that he's faking all this shit he's Pagliachi crying on the inside cause no one respects him and his girlfriend dumped him. He comes out and he's like it' SI a put on. Honestly, it's Batman and the Joker You MADE me! I made you? You made ME. Theres' a a secret Kanye hidden inside.

56. Gnarls Barkley — CrazyIf you asked me to make this list five years ago, there probably woulfn'dt been a lot of Cee-Lo I fell in love with that Soul machine, but then this came out and it blew water. it's still the best thing either man ever did and for every person that thinks they're a little bit crazy, this song is for the people who scoff at you because we've seen crazy. Insane. It's as soft and reasonable and likable as this, but it's scary shitman.

55. Ricardo Villalobos — Enfants (Chants)If you ever told me I would love a song of repetitive chants of children chanting in some foriegn language would've punched you. The last thing I ever want to hear is children. And SEVENTEEN minutes of children saying the same thing over and over again? Holy fuck who let you in the room? Who asked you? But this song is infection. It rolls and absorbs and ri[ps your rocks from their morings as it slowly moves it's huge mass down your continent sneding primative mandown into the southern lands and hunting siberian tigers and wooly mammoths and the reason why there are no siberian tigers and wool mamoths anymore is because we hunted them all while thse children made their chants and invoked some spirits that made the magic happen when the gof of the hunt granted us this delicous meats and and maybe some root vegetables.

54. Bon Iver — Lump SumSo, I gues we're all supposed to be about all the other songs, but the pace of this one and the way clothes never come off as smotth as music but you sometimes tryo to keep the beat and you're not sure why because honestly someone else's buttons are hard enough to open as it is, but maybe you hit the couch anyway when the change comes and you can brush her hair back and see her eyes.

53. Yeasayer — Wait For SummerMaybe it's not a mix afterall! This is a blast and a surprise. You never see it comig. I just love the way there's som much built on top of itself and then I miss my baby in a mess of things I don't know. It's that song style where you sing a part and move on and someone else sings the part and Kirk and mcCoy tried to teach Spock.

52. Vitalic — Poney Part II think brian is going to bed, and even with headphones one, i feel like this will finally rend the twixt between us two! I'm tired, but this is a fucking loud song even for my sleepy ears. I 'm saying: you can't not hear it loud. if you don't hear it loud it could just be any song but to hear it loud is to fucking hear this shit. Pound pound pound pound! Pound pound pound pound! then pum pum pum pum. pum pum pum pum pum. and then there's a voice and then it's doesn't poiund right away and then it pounds so fucking hard all the furniture winds up somewhere else when you're done. It is pounding so hard! So hard! Wher'es the bed? The night table is over there! You still own that comfortor! Is that the silt island of lost bedtime skittles?

51. Fuck Buttons — Teen CreepsI thnk when I was 17, I might;ve forgotten I had friends listening to this song over and over again. I'm so glad this song waited decades and i feel so sorry for the kids of today just discovering this fuzzy paranoid feer of teen creeps. Whne anyone tells me they like Weezer, I'm supposed to tell them about this and save them like Jehova's Witness, but instead i let them be sad their band kepps getting worse.

50. Air France — Collapsing At Your Doorstepmaybe this actually is the greatest mixtape ever! Wow. I'm trying to think of something I didn't say last time: I don't know. The answer to the question "Will Anyone Ever Again Make One Great experimental ambient techno single you could play for your most anti-eloectronic friends? is answered right hear. I don't know if this is the most beautiful song of the decade, but it might be. If they ever put speakers in the unadulterated field, lets' listen to this when the grass is softest and the sun is perfect and everything feel s right and we can look at each other and wonder where we've been all our lives..

THIS USED TO BE THE FUTURE (100-72)

This guy I know from the internet posted a challenge to the music-lovin' spoonful of us to rank the 50-100 songs of the decade that we loved best. I'm sure it was a mistake to join the challenge, but this whiskey sour in my hand says otherwise. The relevant info is in the graphic above, but it's well worth your time to read the initial post the initialfollow-ups (3 so far). Andy is also keeping track of the other people joining in the challenge. And his posts will probably be better than mine because he's linking to amazon mp3s of cool songs and I'm not linking mp3s to arguably less-cool songs.

Butt hay!

With that bit of preamble behind us, let's dive head-first into the introduction.

I know a lot of people who think this has been a dreadful decade for music or simply gave up on trying to keep up or settled on all the music they'll ever want to hear again and again over and over. Me, I'm terrified of old age and figure the longer I can hold on to popular culture, the younger I stay (I also use a magic painting). So I keep ups. A little. In my way.

I wrote about a number of these songs already, and i'm going to try and not repeat myself even though you may not have read those thoughts yet. I will repost those writings here so you can read them and then they won't be repeated.

100. The xx — Heart Skipped a BeatI walked inside The Randolph and the blond with the backless shirt yelled, "You missed her! She just left!" I mumbled an apology for my bad timing and found Justin. He was standing behind the bar, "One of you left a bag behind." "That was me." He got me the bag full of comics and plans for comics, we did mutual thanks, and as I made my way for the door, the blond yelled, "Make sure you call her!" I stepped out into super-cold, turned my ipod on to The xx's xx and started jogging (slip-ons and top coat jogging suit). I ran into 30-40 girls in matching black miniskirts and 4-inch stilettos descending a staircase. Futurism! This song started playing and it suddenly made sense to run foll-bore down Grand St. It's clipppy cloppy mumbly dreaminess soundtracked my Sophia Coppola moment and I sideways jump-dodged crowds, laughing with anyone who would laugh back and leaping over curbs and then at, like, three minutes there's a mild crescendo and more regular beat and I'm running faster than fast and everything lights is streaking. I stumble into Two Boots and nearly collapse on the V table, adrenaline and endorphins spilling out of my eyes and Brendan's girlfriend starts feeding me pizza and I turn to Kim and say, "I think I've just added a new song to my list."

99. Yerba Buena — Guajira (I Love U 2 Much)This is the song of The Hard Grove Saturday morning brunch right around the time the new owners took over. Melissa (the greatest waitress ever), banana pancakes, fresh fruit, coffee that will make you cry anytime you drink what other places call coffee. And this song to wake you up. Do I love it 2 much? Probably not enough.

98. Lightning Bolt — 13 Monsters1 2 3 4 we must lock the door5 6 7 8 we must evacuate9 10 11 12 we must prepare for13 monsters13 monstersIf the bass is the monsters, we don't stand a chance. If the base is our last defense, some of us might get out of here alive.

97. Dengue Fever — Tiger Phone CardAt first this song throws you for an Alyson Hannigan: you are a pasty nerd who trots globes and has a hot girlfriend and if only you could be together she would never let go. And then she complains that you only call her and open up when you're drunk. You are such a douchebag, pasty nerd!

96. Christina Milian — Dip It LowThere's 'a bunch of songs on this list and the whole reason is going to be: Out on the town + Girl who dances + (this song) = things popped. Also, she says, "backdoor." Christina Milly On's backdoor.

95. Summer Hymns — Mr. BrewerWe went to see Elf Power back... sometime. 'Old' Knitting Factory. Before they kinda went shit. It's the only time I ever bought anything at a show: an EP of covers and the opening act's CD. No wizards, no abstract sound collages, there might be an accordian, there's definitely some Doorsboarding in the bridge. I love all those Athens bands, but this is the song about shit thinking at work I like best. There might be one abstrat sound collage.

94. t.A.T.U — Nas Ne DagoniatI feel like we were all still on the Warren Ellis Forum when someone linked to the video of the hot Russian girls who were running through Moscow to protect their forbidden love. We were so young. I love the airplane whoosh, the chorus on the event horizon of annoying, the electro metal, whatever. It sounds desperateI'll run these rain-soaked streets with you.

93. Kelis — MilkshakeI want her to teach thee. I actually can't figure out how to dance to this unless I'm watching you after she has taught you. Thee.

92. Jabba & Nina Sky — Move Ya BodyI didn't really like this song for a while. I think I was against songs claiming to teach girls how to get dudes in clubs like they needed a song to tell them how to do that. i guess they need it to get the dudes they actually want though. Also, then you have a girl who lipsinks it to you and behind her face is two more Puerto Rican girls. Anyway, Dip It Low rules in effect.

91. Eight Hundred Women — Lady Marmalade

I know somewhere there is a Jada Fire/Lil Kim video. if there isn't... i don't even particualrly love the original, but this one has one has Lil Kim over a real beat, plus Maya and Xtina and Missy and Pink and it's a freaking We Are the World in a ruffled skirt and Bruce comes in and he isn't follwed by Kenny Loggins.

90. Justin Timberlake & Timbaland — SexyBackNo one even knew it went somewhere and then it was back and we were all like where did it go? This is it? This isn't sexy. Did you get a haircut or something? And then we went out and it was all like, "oh, this hair is fantastic."

89. Britney Spears — ToxicKnock her all you want, but this is a song. it's not genius, but its... it's a song. It's a little weird. That whisling thing. Weirder people didn't make this something weird and she' the least weird person who ever lived./ Man, maybe it was Cathy Dennis. the internet tells me Touch Me (All Night lOng) was a hit in 1984. Holy fuck, how the fuck old are we? Cathy Dennis I was too young to be listening to that song. it's a good thing i don't have kids.

88. Kelly Clarkson — Since You Been GoneThis song isn't weird at all. This song is like those stories where Germans used computers to write the perfect joke. I flat out HATED this song even though Marcos told me I could use it as an excuse to look at her ass. And then we imagined what it would be like to be in her bancd. Playin drum and watchin her ass. That seemed like the worst reason to like a song. And then one night a lot of people were really drunk and that chorus blasted out and we were all jumping and shouting it and it was that rave scene in the 2nd matrix only awesome.

87. The Roots — The Seed (2.0)Man, even people who loved the Roots didn't like the Roots in the 2000s. We were always excited about them, and then they did shit like Game Theory. It was like being that cartoon dog in a desert hat whith the cloth that hangs from the hat and you're running across the sands to the oasis and the dancing girl and it turns out it's a mirage and you're eating sand and that girl is Bugs Bunny and he doesn't even stick around. Any way at one point they hooked up with Cody Chestnut and mad e song about sticking sperm inside of you and they were on one of those late Night shows back when it still wasn't common place to take about semen in music aqnd then we were excitied about the Roots because holy hell, that's the opposite of the 15-minute anti incest rape poems they usually leave you with. And then they left us.

86. Shakira — Whenever, WhereverI know, you're sick of it. You know why you're sick of it, because we loved it so fuckin g much we kept playing it and playing it. Fuck you telling me to play some real music and you put on some Dan Foggleberg. That voice is amazing. I would go to war with this song playing. The begining of Finding Private Ryan I would play this as i hity that beacj.

85. Dead Prez — Hip HopDead Prez was never this good except when they wwee this good. This is the last great anthem of hiphop. i actually watched Chappelle's show because I heard this playing and walked in the room and was all, "What;s this then?"

84. Mclusky — To Hell with Good IntentionsI said a couple months ago that this didn't hold a canle to lightsaber Cocksucking Blues but then i was listening and I realized I was wrong all that time. marcos and kenny had about thirty of these guys albums before i ever heard of them. Fingering pulses they were. You can sing it with conviction and not believe a word. My love is bigger than your love.

83. Tweet & Missy Elliot — OopsWhen Cindy Lauper did it, people still debate it. It was funny seeing an old lady suddenly realize what was going on. For this song alone, the answer to the Wu is always Missy.

82. 5.6.7.8's —Woo Hooi didn't know it was a cover until now. I thought it was just a song that sounded like a cover. Like A Tarantino movie. I'm dancin' with myself right now. The lack of fully complete two-minute songs is a sin in this day and.

81. Ghostface — NutmegThe last time i wrote about this song i just copy and pasted the first verse. This time: Holy fuck! Ghostface raps the way i wish i could right. Is this shit scampi? It's not scampi! Imagine if it was scampi! Universal death threats. I don't even need a lot. i just want to write one thing that gets me one Universal Death Threat. it that so much to ask? Bleedin in the cell.

80. The Decemberist — The InfantaI had some The Decemberists playiong. i must've gotten it from kenny. it was playing that way stuff plays and you couldn't tell anyone about it while it was even happening and then this kicks in and my ears perk up and then there's something about Collin Quin on your back and those drums are just on a mission and i couln't get to the computer but is it possible that he's saying that "We'll all cum crazy in Fanta?" Remember that commercial with the girl who looked like a less busty versian of Sofia Vergara. Mmmmm... Sofia Vergara.

Now I wanta fanta.

Whiskey Sour Number 5 instead.

79. Lindstrom — Grand IdeasI haven't posted it hear yet, but on a message board I like i posted my responce to the 200 songs on Pitchfork's Top 500 Songs of the Decade. It's where i first listened to any Lindstrom and then Chris Breach tried to convince me to listen to more in his Australian accent and i gave in. I'll post that whole busineess soon, but for now. So I listened to more and I thought one song was another and I put in in the list and I was listening and i like it great but I was thinking no that's not the song I wanted in here. i hav e a very specific Lindstrom song in mind and had better be real and not just a song i imagainde, so i just went back and listened to my lindtrom and I was getting pissed because this is the last song of the post i should be doing the pull out but intead I'm staying in. Then i found it and it was an imagined amalgamation of songs at all it was one real song all by itself. it's a techno bit of that robot motorcycle theme song that tangarine Dream did for that show and but it's got these epic sweeps that take your helmet off and you can feel the wind and there's a girl singing and you know you're gonna crash into the rocks unless there's a ramp or a fjord but there's always a fjord and the crooks can't get way.

I think i'll just keep typing instead of breaking off into bitier sized bits. We'll stop when it's time.

78. RJD2 — The HorrorSupposedly kompact is starting a samples-based horror sub-label in 2010. It sounds awesome and exactly like the sort of thing that will suck in a month. Good on them. I love horror not like one of thaose guys that will buy any movie with blood on it, but I like horroe the way I like anything with stuff in it. I love it when it's good. This song is the horror of time. Time just keeps getting more and more fucked up who did this to time? Was it the guy in Metropolis? There's a breakdown and you think maybe i can hide from time under this back deck while the cops trawl through town looking for the two guys dressed like ninjas that were settting fire to the roofs of cars, but then time kicks back in and you realize that timetimetimetimeTIMEtime is man's horror. i thought it was the cops, but it was time all along!

77. AR Rahman & M.I.A. — O... SayaWhen this movie came out, i knew exactly when this song played. I'm still pretty sure it was in the awesome half when they were all kids and not the less-awesome part when they were adults and one of the hottest women in the world was one of them but suddenly this wasn't a horror movie about being a minority in india, it was some kinda heist movie. Whatever. M.I.A. shines like Ludacris here droppin a verse you wish shoe'd put on more songs and those drums are all toms or maybe down-tuned snares or something and then it does that thing where what you were listening to stops and and then it comes back in. That seems like a low criteria, but when it happens here, it happens.

76. Bloc Party — FluxI got into this song and a friend of mine told me she hated Bloc Party with the heat of a thousand. I didn't want to tell her that a video for a dance song with kaiju fighting made me love not-Blur. I love them more than Blur. there! Iasid it. I'm typing while blinking really fact just to fget the right affest that you shoulf get whil e listening to this song.

75. Victoire — A Door Into the DarkSo one thing that happened when I was doing this list once i knocked it down from 578 songs to 100 was that when I was ordering things i wasn't sure if i was ordering them out of actual love or out of a notion that they might play really well together in a mix if I organized them in theis order. I'm still not sure who made this list: daddy who likes one better than the other or mommy who just wants us to stand in a nice compostion for the Christmas picture. i mean, do i really like this violin piece better than Flux? But I think also i thought, if i was in a bar, i would be happy to hear this song, but i'd go nuts if they played this song instead abut maybe that's because no bar is going to play some violin music i ganked from the web one night... i don't even know where from except that it was promotional maybe rcrdlbl.com If i ever go into a bar and someone plays this i will go bugnuts though and i'll probably like it even more because i'll finally hear it in a place I'd never expect to hear it and maybe I'm having a great night to and that will certainly add to it, I'm sure.

74. Nosaj Thing — FogNow this, this I might hear in a bar one night. I might because I heard something else in a bar once and I couldn't believe it but I will get to that later because that song is in this very list. Possibly in the ceiling! There's actually a bit of horror in this too. It's supposed to be LA dubstep, but I don't think anyone knows what that means. I like Nosaj Thing a lot, and he's very consisten on one level but when this kicks in and it kicks in on my 2009 part 4 playlist a lot but when this kicks in I want to do something nasty bbut then i realize no one else can hear the song and they won't appreciate it.

73. Yeah Yeah Yeahs — MapsWhen Andy first announced this challenge i think kim jumped in and threatened to kill anyone who didn't have a song on their list and i didn't even know what the hell that song was so i looked for it so Kim wouldn't kill me because I don't want him to kill me and screw something up and then get caught and have to go to prison and then Tasha will have to raise the baby by herself but then i found the song and realized it ws a song from this album and i don't love that song nearly as much as I like this song which is exactly how the Pretenders would sound if they came back and surprised everyone with awesomeness. Brink it on, Kim!

72. Tool — The GrudgeUnable to control stop lud whena whin. We went to see The National this year and because of the weather we got free tickets to go see the next night's show which was going to be headlined by Tool and My Bloody Valentine and i almost didn't go down the shore the next day because Oh My God I've always always wanted to see Tool and My Bloody Valentine and someone was trelling me I could see them and I scould see them by walking over to the concert from my apartment and it would be a beautiful night. But i went down the shore for love, and then i had a really great time with everybody and some of it was pretty damn transcendent in the ocean just past the breakers on a weekend when the waves and the... Undertow was strong as hell. Anyway, when you're out in the ocean and everything is right with the world and you look like a fucking adonis in one picture welll you think a bit about Tool. Their best songs weren't from this decade, but the best song of the decade that they wrote has waters crushing you into gold. I didn't get to see them live, but those fucking waters crushed me into gold and i've been fucknig gold ever since.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

THIS IS WHAT THE LAST POST WAS SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE

Sunday, December 06, 2009

GIALLO — PAGES FROM THE YELLOW NOTEBOOK... OF MURDER!

I've recently been revisiting some of the work I've done over the past year on a project tentatively titled Giallo.

In the past week, I've completed a full outline and have gone back to the more fleshed out beginning and began tweaking it a bit more. Below is a sort of composite of some of the sketchbook material I've compiled so far.

Friday, December 04, 2009

MY LIMBO SHIFTING POWERS — THEY DON'T WORK — !

Like Batman, Kurt Busiek always wins.

Apropos of nothing again? This was going to be something. And then it wasn't going to be anything. Then I thought maybe it would be something. Then I thought it should sit for a while. Now I think it should sit for a while but maybe it will be something someday.

But for now, Suga Mama:

There's some stuff to come, lots has been worked on. Remember that guy? Franz Lotsasbin? Worked on, I can assure you. And you know what they say about assurances; they make an ass out of you and rances.