Arsenal Computer Glitch - Paradis is new signing

A red faced Arsenal spokesperson was forced to admit that a computer glitch had resulted in the somewhat surprise signing of Vanessa Paradis as an Arsenal Player, on a 4 year deal.

Paradis, a one hit wonder with Joe LeTaxi and now wife of Hollywood hero Johnny Depp, was equally surprised as she thought she was signing up for a continental style, dark comedy entitled "Cinq longues années et encore rien"

The spokesperson, Ricardo Fromage, said in a short statement "Arsene input his normal requirements into the clubs scouting computer program, for example, must be French, must be short, must be very light, must have legs like an anorexic sparrow with brittle bone disease. The computer found a match and automatically sent out a contract via email".

An un-named Arsenal source said "Arsene was fuming when he found out about it, Paradis can apparently shoot when faced with the opponents goal and she will just not fit in, playing like that"

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