Not that my family needs any guidance whatsoever to putting on a good Mother’s Day. Not at all, you understand. I thought I’d throw out a few general guidelines to putting on a Happy Mother’s Day for any mother — you know, just in case someone wanted a reference or something. Ahem.

1. I think most people understand that Mom doesn’t want to cook on Mother’s Day. There are 364 other days in the year when she can rack her brain to find a nutritious dish that all members of her family will eat. What’s less well known is that Mom also doesn’t want to CLEAN UP on Mother’s Day. So if you make a delicious breakfast in bed for Mom, don’t leave the kitchen a disaster that will leave her biting her lip and swearing internally when she sees it.

2. Mother’s Day is Laundry-Free Day. Do not ask Mom to run a load of laundry because you forgot until Sunday night that your smelly gym clothes were stuffed in your backpack. And sneaking said clothes into the hamper for the Laundry Fairy to clean by Monday morning won’t work either. She gets Mother’s Day off too.

3. On Mother’s Day, moms do not have to adjudicate squabbles, walk the dog, clean up spills, figure out what the mysterious brown spot on the carpet is, or know where your keys/homework/iPod/phone/toy might be. I think it’s stipulated in the holiday’s rules somewhere that she gets a break from being Judge-Dogwalker-Housecleaner-Psychic. She’ll be back on duty around 6 a.m. on Monday, I’m sure — but only after she has her first cup of coffee.

4. Entertaining Mom is a little tricky: either a) Mom will want you to see “The Avengers” while she goes off on her own to shop, nap, hit the spa or whatever; or b) Mom will want to go with you to see “The Avengers” because she likes Iron Man’s sense of humor and has a teeny crush on Thor. Find out which Mom you have. (Note to my kids: I’d like extra butter on my popcorn, please.)

5. Play a game of her choosing, if she so desires. For example, I would not say no to a really loud game of Apples to Apples. And FYI: you can sway me to choose your card if you give me lots of hugs and kisses while trying to make them look spontaneous.

6. Presents are always good, but a day-long, bicker-free zone with her husband and kids? Perfect.

For all the moms out there, here’s hoping you have a delightful Mother’s Day! Have a great weekend too!