Feds swiftly respond to Saudi’s use of Canadian equipment against civilians with warning label

OTTAWA – Foreign Affairs Minister Chrystia Freeland says that all Canadian military-grade equipment purchased by the Saudi government will now come with a stern warning label to discourage the regime from using them against civilians.

“I would like to make it clear that any use of our armoured vehicles against an innocent population will void the warranty on these expensive vehicles,” announced Freeland at a press conference. “These warnings make it clear that Canada does not condone the use of its equipment for atrocities, and will make users consider Canadian values before they open fire.”

The labels, which appear in English, French, and Arabic, warns the operators not use the vehicles to kill dissidents, torture prisoners, or impose an archaic law which brutally represses women, gays, foreign workers, and Shia muslims.

“We have also revised the owner’s manual in the Gurkha RPVs and the modified LAV III reminding security forces not to crack down on democratic movements, keep the vehicle 50m away from Yemeni civilians, and how to toggle the high beams,” added Freeland. “This can all be found in the glove compartment.”

Global Affairs expects the warning labels to be as effective as Health Canada’s warning labels on cigarette cartons for chain smokers.

“Frankly, I’m still shocked, and would have never thought that a regime which still stones adulterers would use our equipment to suppress people.”