How To Get Your Wedding Guests To Hate You

As you can imagine, I see a lot of weddings. Because I am at a lot of weddings, I also see a lot of guests. As a wedding planner in the beginning process, it’s my job to offer style with a side dish of perspective during the planning period to make it feasible and comfortable for everyone. As the coordinator, it’s also my job on the day of the wedding to make sure that everything is happening as it should. Sometimes, as a day of coordinator– you see a lot of mishaps that you can’t control, as the bride had done (or sometimes, hasn’t) a lot of the planning.

Your family and friends came hundreds of miles in some cases to share this day with you. If you want them to love you, read this post and do the opposite. If you want them to hate you, read this post and take notes.

You’re boring and unimaginative. I get it– it’s all about you. But without your guests, there would be no wedding. Most people recognize it’s a celebration– so you will see a lot of people ready for the reception at the prelude of the ceremony. You want your ceremony to be an expression of love, of course. Also recognize, the longer it is, the antsier people become– especially if it is monotonous and drab. You can throw excitement in several different ways: innovative programs, great music, poignant readings, etc. Sometimes, however, it’s better to K.I.S.S.

You’ve left them to the wolves. Nothing is worse than going to a wedding and no one is there to tell you where to go, where to sit, what to do, etc. People’s stress levels go up. Make sure your coordinator is there to assist with ushering and directing people, assisting those who need special access (handicapped, new babies, etc.). If you have ushers, make sure they know what to do and not to do. I made the mistake once of telling an usher that he was to escort guests to the appropriate row. He took that literally. He took each female guest by the arm and seated them. Chilvarous? Yes. Time conscious? Not so much.

You’re late. You’re late, for a very important date. People say that all weddings start late. This isn’t necessarily true. Try to get as much help as possible to ensure that you can get ready in a timely manner. Remember, while you are one of the stars of the show, your performance would be nothing without the audience. We had one bride who was one and a half hours late for her wedding reception, because she wanted pictures outside. Your guests are waiting and cannot eat or celebrate without you. It comes to a point where it stops being understandable to downright rude. (Contrary to popular belief there is not an endless supply of mozzerella filled tomatoes and crudites while you are getting snapped. You can only hear Fly Me to the Moon so many times before getting nauseous.)

You’re the wedding nazi. At the wedding mentioned above, not only was the bride late, but she didn’t give us a copy of her wedding playlist for dance songs. The DJ forgot his copy (these things happen!) and was winging it. By this time, the guests were ready to get up and move and were having a good time. The only problem was that they were grooving to songs on the couple’s DNP (do not play list). The groom got stressed, the bride got stressed and wanted to cancel the music. Another way to wedding dictatorship is to not allow your guests to make requests or allow your DJ/Band to do their job. These people read their crowds for a living. While you make like all of the songs on your list, I have watched many an entertainment professional assess the crowd during cocktail hour to figure out a game plan. If you have chosen correctly, your wedding should be in good hands.

There is very little or poor quality food. And to make matters worse, it’s served at the wrong time. For example, you have an hors d’oeuvres reception at dinner hour. Or worst yet, you ask guests to pay for their meal. (It DOES happen!) If you are having a limited reception, be sure to make your guests aware in advance so that they can prepare accordingly.

It’s only gracious to remember the people who love you and came out to support you. Do your best to show your appreciation in a non-bridezilla way 🙂