I'm going to miss Bill Clinton. Really, I am. He's
been one of a kind, a leader who could inspire
both respect and ridicule, a president who left
his unique mark on more than just an intern's
dress.

He presided over one of the strongest economies
in U.S. history. Indeed, without him, many people
would have been unemployed, especially the
comedians.

During his presidency, America became a
friendlier country. Even strangers on the New
York subway had something to share with each
other: "Did you hear the latest Clinton joke?"

Though he failed to provide health insurance for
everyone, he did give us the next best thing. After
all, laughter is the best medicine.

It's easy, of course, to point out his failings. They
captured the headlines and almost derailed his
presidency. When friends asked me the question
"What do you think of the Clinton scandal?" my
answer was always the same: "Which one?"

But even Republicans couldn't help admiring
Clinton's charisma and political skills. A brilliant
speaker, he had a way of connecting with people --
and not just his interns. He possesses more natural
magnetism than Al Gore and George W. Bush
combined. They and other politicians must have
been envious, for Clinton could charm almost
anyone, sometimes even his wife.

America enjoyed epic peace and prosperity during
his tenure. Perhaps he doesn't deserve all the
credit -- but at least he hired and kept the right
people. Imagine the state of the economy if he
had appointed his half-brother, Roger, to head the
Federal Reserve Board. America would be
borrowing money from Haiti.

The economy was so strong that some people, such
as Regis Philbin, managed to find second jobs.
Clinton's policies helped bring wealth to millions
of Americans, including one who sold many copies
of a book called "Monica's Story."

Clinton was successful in reducing the deficit and
creating free trade agreements. Thanks to his
welfare reform, only a small group of able-bodied
Americans can receive government money
indefinitely. And Clinton will soon be lucky
enough to join them.

While he achieved mixed results in foreign
affairs, he showed more concern than some of his
peers, making trips to countries that Bush would
have trouble pronouncing. Clinton's critics believe he
was just trying to get away from his problems.
And perhaps that's true -- he didn't take many
Republicans along.

Unfortunately, some may remember him solely for
the Lewinsky scandal and the dishonor he brought
to the highest office. Among his many statements
as president, one seems unforgettable: "I did not
have sexual relations with that woman, Miss.
Lewinsky." A younger Clinton once managed to
dodge the military draft, but that was easy
compared to his later challenge: dodging his wife.

The House of Representatives impeached him, but
Clinton showed great perseverance and somehow
survived, an achievement akin to saving the
Titanic. And even more amazing, Hillary didn't
throw him overboard.

But his legacy was damaged and Gore failed to
succeed him. The vice president, unwisely, didn't
even allow Clinton to campaign for him, which is
like going fishing without your biggest worm.

So now Clinton must step down and watch the
Republicans take over. Well, at least Hillary got
elected to the Senate. It may take Bill Clinton a few
weeks to realize he's not as powerful as his wife.
All these years, he's been in denial.

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Copyright 2001 Melvin Durai http://www.funnycolumns.com

Melvin Durai is an Indiana-based
writer and humorist. A native of India, he grew up
in Zambia and moved to the U.S. in the
early 1980s.