– Don’t be afraid to leave a comment on this report. We’ve build a great community of intelligent, funny wrestling fans and you should be a part of it, because seriously, you aren’t gonna find it anywhere else. Don’t post your comments too fast or they might not show up, because our server is run by Angelfire and is from 1995.

– Big thanks again to Casey/THESTINGER for helping me out with gifs and pictures. Be sure to visit his gifs Tumblr for the stuff I didn’t use. We’re gonna get that kids in the crowd tumblr on the Internet, buddy!

– If you’re going to be at Wrestlemania this year (or in Miami for Wrestlemania weekend, at least), make sure you let me know so we can find each other and say hi. Section 138, if you’re wondering. Also probably ROH on Saturday afternoon, and Axxess that night. Both Chickbusters are going to be there, it may be my Waterloo.

Miz is the Walking Dead. I keep expecting him to come out here and spend the next 5 weeks looking for Maryse, until we find out that she was sent by Vince to go live with the Godwinns but instead made to be all ugly. Then Miz goes all duckface on us and cries when he realizes he has dropped further in stature than King Kong Bundy.

I’m glad I wasn’t the only one that was OK with Rock’s promo last night.

I don’t want Rock and Cena to just find new ways to call into question the other’s sexuality, so whenever one of them remembers that you also need the audience to get behind you I get happy. Seriously, if neither is going to go full-on-DBry-heel than give me a chance to like these guys.

If you understand that we’re grading on a curve then I think Rock earned that Best from last night.

I’m also happy and excited to see that Dolph Ziggler has given Swagger some pointers on personality.

Also, as someone that watches NXT (hello!) when will Kaitlyn step in for an intervention with AJ like she did for Bateman? NXT and Superstars don’t have to exist in their separate worlds, they can and should be incorporated into the rest of the series. It’s like when Green Lantern and Green Lantern Corps would share storylines but before they would then have storylines spread out over 15 different books and make me stop reading comic strips.

Also, this was one of your best writeups in a while, Brandon! Well worth the wait!

It’s never about me liking any of it at this point, it’s more just what doesn’t piss me off. I did not like Rock’s promo last night at all, but I didn’t hate it, which at this point is enough for me to go: “Oh! Well all right then!” But regardless of that, it still means we’re settling for mediocrity because the bar has been set so fucking low at this point. But hey, it still didn’t make me want to punch myself in the dick like every single HHH/HBK/Taker segment has so whatever I guess. Still doesn’t change the fact that I’d trade every single Rock/Cena segment (even the tolerable ones) for nonstop montages of Dolph Ziggler selling everyday injuries like a fuckin’ pro. Like, he stubs his toe but does an immediate front flip but somehow it still looks good. What were we talking about?

I think I might actually be looking forward to Cody/Show more than Orton/Kane. At least those two have a semi convincing reason to be feuding. WTH was all that “I’M GOING TO KILL YOU COS I SHOOK YOUR HAND ONE TIME” crap all about?

Cody / Show is a great feud.
Cody manages to sickburn Show more in 2 minutes than HHH, Taker, HBK, Rock, or Cena can do with a half hour.
I also really respect that Cody is upfront about how he thinks Show is unstoppable 364 days a year (which is BS, but I like it when wrestlers don’t try to bury each other all the fucking time) but that he sucks at Wrestlemania so that’s why he’s so confident.
List of best to worst ‘Mania feuds:
Jericho v Punk, Laurinaitis v Long, DBry v Sheamus, Cody v Show, ugghhhhhhh… the rest are bad whatever.

My problem with the Bryan/Sheamus feud is that the writers seem to be almost in love with the girlfriend AJ stuff as I am and so are forgetting about Sheamus until the segment is nearly over and adding “oh yeah then Sheamus arrives and kicks someone/something in the face”

I’m still looking forward to the match though, because DBD in a world title match at Wrestlemania is amazing, even if it opens the show like Edge/Del Rio did last year.

Rocky II sucks for me because it ruins what made Rocky so good. He’s not supposed to win and be an unstoppable champion. I actually rank II behind III and IV because I prefer the cheesy bullshit to the still-earnest-but-contradicting-part-one stuff.

I gotta be honest, I don’t really like Jericho’s approach. I mean, yeah, it fits with his character and with Punk’s key gimmick, but…it just feels off. “WE’RE GOING TO HAVE A WRESTLING MATCH SO THAT…YOU’LL…UHH…DRINK ALCOHOL AND STUFF.” Maybe in an undercard feud or something, or on Raw/SD, that would fly. But as WM fodder? Nah, I ain’t buying it. Sure, they’ve done more with less before, but…it just doesn’t feel right.

I hate when people do the “x made me spit out my coffee” thing, but Jericho on still as Test made me do the “snort coffee into my nose and my god it burns” thing.

The Rock said he was going to cram the biggest ball of cheesesteak we’ve ever seen up Cena’s ass. Because in Philly, balls of cheesesteaks are like tumbleweeds. Be sure to look both ways to avoid that giant ball of cheesesteak heading for your shitter.

Backstage segment idea for next week/future Best: Johnny is turning on his new phone after Santino broke his old one. Swaggler walks in. Swagger has a Johnny Unitas haircut and Ace sets his new phone’s clock to it.

Also, “Remember when WCW did that angle where Glacier had to sell off his gimmick” HAHAHA what no of course not.

-Otunga’s Cape-let. As I was discussing with MrsTHESTINGER during Victory Road (don’t judge), Austin Aries needs a better cape than his jacked up generic Harry Potter one and I think we can hook him up with that. Otunga obviously took note of this Twitter discussion and didn’t want to repeat that fashion faux pas and instead, raided Holly Golightly’s closet (from the Austin Scarlet Spring 2012 collection, natch). I’m glad we could help, Bowtunga.

-“Teach Kaitlyn how to be a convincing Sherri Martel for Daniel Bryan’s inevitable descent into Macho Madness.” THIS, PLEASE! So many +Rhodes I can even…

-“The segment gets a secondary best for Randy Orton’s lackadaisical book report style of interview response” I felt like I was teaching again when I saw this… “umm…well… that was very… insightful Randall… thank you… does… anyone have anything to add?” ::crickets::

I post too fast so I’m glad it wasn’t just the WL gang on Twitter (love you guys) that got to enjoy my “Ongoing Saga of Taker & Aytch in High School (with special guest appearance by his First Love.)” post. I think next week, Aytch is going to start doing emo poetry/.gif sets on his Tumblr now that Taker has put him in his place. Either that or show up with a Scene haircut, not sure yet. “Geez Taker, Goth is SOOOO 90’s.”

Then what’s the purpose of turning it into a meme? Isn’t that meme for people who are being legitimately hypocritical? You might as well paste a print screen of With Leather onto the body of the Nyan Cat.

I’m not pissy, you just didn’t make a joke. You just put a misinterpretation of an obvious joke on a random picture of me. I’m not mad or anything, I just have to battle with people not getting my jokes every day.

I just read that Daniel Bryan is dating Brie Bella. If this ends up with the Bellas getting more screen time and A.J. getting demoted back to Backstage Bystander, I am going to find the nearest Vegan and force feed them a T-Bone Steak and a Big Mac.

Maria is legitimately a WWE fan, and her past appearances have been on the better end of the celebrity shenanigans the WWE insists on putting on, so I think it could be all right. It’s not like we realistically would have gotten a good women’s wrestling match in its place.

Great article as always. I had a whole list of things to talk about because I was one of those unlucky bastards that was apparently just posting way to fast on Monday – so I was going to wait until this article to say all my “hilarious jokes” about Raw, buuuuuut…. I forgot them all because FUCK YES ALBERT IS BACK DUDE IS A BEAST AND I AM PUMPED UP ABOUT IT.

Awesome article again. I even enjoyed the show until THIS BUSINESS began.

I couldn’t help but wonder, though, do they need to bring in a 39 year old to do A-Train things? He was pretty decent when they gave a crap about his existence, but I feel like some younger guys could use this too.

That Menounos stuff pisses me off so much. I think one of the worst things about the divas division is that everyone always seems on the verge of breaking into laughter. They know it’s stupid, but they don’t care enough about wrestling to ever propose new ideas. You can imagine Kelly Kelly, former Divas Champion saying “oh, you know, its just this thing i do lol”

I still say Aksana and Vicky furiously rubbing their boobs together was a Best. I’ve long believed that any quasi-lesbian contact makes the less hot of the two women involved more hot; was true on Monday.

Technically, I’m not sure where ROH is based out of anymore. Most of their corporate stuff runs through Sinclair which is based in Maryland. I’m assuming the school is still in Philly, though I haven’t heard anything about it since the buyout that I can recall.

@Brandon it pains me to read you running down the (formerly) great Shane Douglas. Even if you’re probably right about most of it. ECW would have never succeeded in the early days without him. He had some incredible promos and I still cackle hearing him run down Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan.

I was really lukewarm about this RAW (which, apparently makes me weird, since PWTorch was raving about it), but, as always, great write up!

Part of my dissatisfaction with the show is that they haven’t really given me any reason to give a damn about ‘Mania. There is just too much circle-jerking-back to the same points and not enough sense of urgency to any thing.

And, for the sake of Avatar Aang, Mark Henry should have beat Cena. Then, Rock comes out and puts Henry down. THAT sends the message that Rock is in it (“And Mark is one of the Rock’s oldest friends, you candy ass babytalkchickenpoo!” or whatever).

Cody was, again, Brilliant, and exists on another plane of awesome. He is the Lady of Pain of the WWE Planescape, as far as I’m concerned.

We’ll see if next week changes my mind, but, at this rate, I’ll watch some clips of ‘Mania and wait for your write up, and play D&D with my friends on April 1st.