6.04.2013

June 4

Last night, it occurred to me that I had inadvertently neglected to write down something important: that June’s head smells like strawberry jam. I’ve thought about it for a long time, trying to make sure that was it, and now I’m certain: not strawberries, but strawberry jam. She smells like something I would like to eat on buttered toast. Now there’s a menu idea for Delancey.

Brandon bought himself a record player as an early Father’s Day present, and he’s been buying old records left and right. The other day he came home with Cat Stevens’s Tea for the Tillerman. The next morning, before he woke up, June and I were hanging out, like we do every morning, and I turned on the record player. June sat on my lap and played with the zipper on my sweatshirt while I drank my coffee, and we listened to Cat Stevens. And as my friend Andrea so eloquently put it, I had this feeling that these mornings of ours, and these days, they’re the good old days. I was telling my friend Ben about it later that evening, when he asked how my day had been, and he said that it sounded “death defyingly sweet.” I couldn’t have said it better.

A few of you have asked what June is eating these days, and the answer is: mostly breast milk. She will be nine months old on Sunday, old enough to be eating solids, but she’s only vaguely interested. I’m kind of glad, actually. I’m happy to take it slow. We’ve been giving her tastes of whatever we’re eating, so long as it seems manageable for her tiny mouth, and letting her take the lead. (In these photos, she was playing with a hunk of Matt Dillon’s wonderful sourdough bread.) I’ve read many different takes on the subject of feeding young children, and so far, what seems to work best for our family is to not worry too much about it. I hope we can sustain that feeling. We’ll try to make food that is reasonably good for us, and to create moments to sit down and eat that food as a family, and I trust that June’s body will know what it needs and when it needs it. Maybe I’m naive. I mean, of course I’m naive. But mostly, I hope that June will grow up thinking of food as something fun, and not as a battleground. Because as everyone knows, in any battle, the loser’s head gets eaten on buttered toast. (Maybe I’ve been watching too much Game of Thrones?)

A few nights ago, June went down at seven, like she usually does. I poured myself a glass of wine and started going through some boxes of hand-me-downs that we’d picked up from friends that afternoon. A little before eight, she woke up crying. I let her go for a bit, hoping she’d settle back to sleep, but when she didn’t, I went into her room. I reached down in the dark and picked her up, and she burrowed her face into my shoulder and rubbed her eyes and grunted. I sat down in the rocker and held her while she continued to do her best impression of a mole in sunlight, and after a few minutes, I set her back down in the crib. She rolled onto her side and popped her thumb into her mouth, and I leaned over the railing and gave her a “back tickle,” the way my mother and my aunt Tina and my grandmother used to do for me, and as I looked at her in the faint light that trickled in under the blinds, I felt almost unbearably glad, like I might split right open.

Of course, there are less glad moments, like that sunny afternoon when I was feeling all lovey and we were about to take a walk, and I popped open the stroller and then turned to get June out of the car, only to find that, when June and I turned back to face said stroller, it was gone, having rolled down the driveway, careened around the corner, and overturned into the drainage ditch alongside the road. PARENT OF THE DECADE! You can rest assured that I will never, ever, ever again forget to set the brake on a stroller - or a car, or a toy car, or anything that moves. Also, feeling lovey is dangerous.

June Pettit: Living Dangerously since September of 2012!

I’m trying to get back into the swing of cooking more than just eggs and roasted vegetables and banana bread, and hopefully I’ll soon have something to report about that. But in the meantime, I’ll be Austin this weekend, speaking on a panel about storytelling at the BlogHer Food Conference. I can’t wait! See you out there.

89 Comments:

I love your photos of June! She is such a beautiful child and I'm sure she smells just like jammy sweetness. It's funny because I had a cat that smelled like honey. I'd stick my face into her fur and inhale all that sweet honey scent.

Molly, she is just adorable, and I love how happy you sound. Speaking as a mom of teens, I can tell you that you will have these moments of pure joy your whole parenting life...but the amount of *flesh* involved will decrease exponentially. Revel in all the skin-to-skin contact with your cherub! That's the part that doesn't last forever.

Isn't it great how things smell? I had a cat who smelled of maple smoke, and my boyfriend smells of sugar. So every time I open the jug of maple syrup I think of that cat, and when I make caramel I am reminded of my BF. And now, you will think of June when open jars of strawberry jam!

Lovely post! I had missed reading your news, but I'm glad to know you are enjoying life, and June. Such a cute wee girl! Please enjoy every minute. Looking forward to your next post, with or without new recipe ideas. Happy Summer to you and your family.

It's so interesting how much she looks like a little girl instead of a baby.

Also, my wife and I are going to B.C. for the first time in September. The current plan is to fly to Seattle and see our niece for a day or two first. The most important part is that we will get to go to Delancy and Essex for the first time!

I live in Austin, but I hadn't heard anything about BlogHer Food. In any case, this is an amazing food town, and I've been lucky to be here over the past three year when it's really been expanding rapidly (both food-wise and, unfortunately, urban-sprawl-wise).

So glad you are aware of the precious moments that you are living right now. I have tried to be aware, daily, that my little girls (5, 3 and 1) and I are in the golden years of our lives. I think once school begins you lose a little of the innocence and the ease of life without a set routine. It also helps on the rotten attitude, willful days that you will experience soon :)And P.S. her HAIR!!!

You have such appreciation for June, it's so sweet to see. I definitely appreciated my first since she'd had such a rocky road to arrive but with my second now I'm relishing these tiny moments more. As the comment above mentioned, I know we will have future blissful moments together but the snuggling and hugs and random kisses and meltingly-sweet smiles might not be the same. ;)

Molly, I hope I run in to you at Blogher. I'm not going to the conference this time....just all the stuff surrounding it ; ) . I love that June smells like Strawberry Jam...mmmI love the smell of babies. This reminds me of a doll my sister had when we were young the Strawberry Shortcake Doll it smelled like jam. We have four children....I breast fed them until they were a year and didn't worry about solids, she looks very healthy. I agree do what's works for your family and what feels right...listen to your instincts. xoxo Sheila

She looks scrumptious! Seriously, totally worth nibbling on! I would never give serious advice, really everyone is different, but only share a thought of mine on my own girls. My only real regret in terms of food with my girls is not continuing as I started. Both of the girls (your biggest fan of SM) Ella now nearly 10 and Leila (6) were AMAZING eaters, would eat anything at all until about the age of 2, then for some reason I started adjusting foods for them as they fussed, not just continuing on with what WE were eating. As a result we got into that pattern so many parents do through necessity and the desire to not go mad, of cooking plainer food. They are much much better now, but if I could do over anything, it would be to just continue on feeding them what we're having (with the avoidance of things like chilli in serious amounts) and let them get used to it.

Wow, well said. I have a 5 year old and while every age is fun in its own way, you are in one of my favorites. You probably really will look back and think these were the good old days. She is ridiculously cute and I do really enjoy her photos (as I really miss the stage she is in right now). Chubby baby legs and kissable cheeks and sitting on your lap for an extended period of time is a special thing not to be missed. My son's head smelled like muffins. Seems as though you are doing a beautiful job of living in the moment with her and that's a hard thing for a busy parent to do.Thanks for sharing!

I completely understand that you want to eat her;) Lovely photos, beautiful stories (and good warnings!). Game of Thrones huh? I love to watch it too, but it is kinda depressing, knowing almost nothing there can end well.

You'll never read this far down in your comments, but I want to add my "awwwwww" to everyone else's. June is just so sweet. Love her little blue jammies, her messy hair, her fat little fists, her blueberry eyes. She is a living doll and you are so wise to be savoring all these moments. They are, indeed, your good old days.

June is the cutest -I think smelling like strawberry jam would make her unbearably sweet, too. Don't worry about the solids - my Ped recommends milk as main source of nutrition until at least a year, so if she's not interested in other stuff who cares? Then there's my little who wants the full bottle AND a full meal, but that's another story. =)

I love your posts about June and I am not even a parent yet. They are always so beautifully written. And thank you for being laid-back about food. . .that's not a common new-mom theme. :) It's refreshing.

Indeed, these are the good old days! So happy you understand this. I believe, for the majority of people, it takes their children leaving the house to come to this conclusion. Moreover, your feeding strategy is brilliant!

We have the exact same theoretical approach to eating with our almost 2 year old - offer lots of good healthy things and try to relax and trust that our son is getting what he needs. ... it does get REALLY hard to stay relaxed, though, when he would like to live on ice cream and nothing else. :)

Thanks for this post, Molly. There's so much anxiety involved in modern parenting and in all the semi-hysterical debate around nursing vs. formula, stay-at-home vs. working, sleep training, finding a nanny who speaks Mandarin so your child will have an advantage in the global economy...etc. I often feel like the sheer joy of being a parent gets overlooked, and I think it's so sad. Like anything really difficult, parenting is also really rewarding! As a mom of a 2-year-old, I feel like it gets better all the time. It's such a gift to be able to slow down enough to really be with our kids and enjoy them.

Oh, my God is she ever ever cute..Her full head of hair is something else and curls everywhere, she looks so happy, must be cause her momma and pops are laid back foodies and in the restaurant business in Seattle..I follow your blog, are you taking miss june with you for your foodblog thingie in Austin, whe will love it there always hot and blue skies..Enjoy nursing her she will thank you healthwise forever, I babysat a whole bunch of the babies when my only was tiny, for a few hours here and there for Moms who absolutely needed an hour or two to take care of essentials they needed to do, the breast fed babies, slept and were like little angels, the bottle fed babies fussed and needed me to hold them the entire time, I so remember cause my breast fed baby would try to comfort the bottle fed babies she could not understand their fussings, she is a mellow and healthy young adult! Ciao and enjoy the conference and so enjoy your sweet angel..ciao & peace & luv to you and yours~X()

Molly, I really enjoyed making baby food from Top 100 Baby Purees from Annabel Karmel. They taste really good, unlike most of the store bought stuff. Most require a base of veggie stock which I would make in massive quantities, but I think a lot of the flavor came from that.

Ah, they do break your heart with joy every day and then mend it all over again, don't they? Yesterday I visited my 6-month-old "honorary" granddaughter, Lila (my almost-daughter's little girl), and we spent a lovely hour exploring the grass under our toes and petting the bark of the tree that was shading us. Lila breaks out in a huge smile every time she sees me, and I would, of course, do absolutely anything for that smile. Revel in the little moments with your strawberry-scented June; they're the moments that count the most.

BTW, June is not only seriously adorable but is CLEARLY healthy and happy. Don't worry about the food issue - as you surmised, she WILL tell you when she's ready to move on to trying other foods. Thanks for sharing those dear photos with us.

oooh that child has some serious cheeks. I'm impressed that you're getting her down at 7, as 8 is the time in our household (but she's 18 months old so i guess they eventually move their bedtime later and later). Enjoy BlogHer Food!!

I just love this type of baby writing! So appropriate to the jammy days of infancy. It took ages for my daughter to get into food (until 12 months, but then I just skipped mush-style altogether). When she did it was pretty fun! I can't wait to read what you write then. you'll love it for sure.

I wish I could see you in Austin. Could they sell your panel's discussion to Ted Talks so we can all watch? : )

I want to say how cute June is, but where are the words? She's indescribably cute. Your post brought a happy tear to my eye. My son is 28 and will be getting married this summer. I believe it's possible for the "good ol'days" to follow you through life. The relationship will change, but it can remain strong and delightful as you and your child grow. I suspect this will be true in your case.

I just love your writing, and I found this phrase in particular very moving: "I felt almost unbearably glad, like I might split right open." I can't tell you how true this rings with me, how often I've felt this with my newborn without being able to find the words to express it.

I have a 3 year old and a 5 year old and I think that you "eating philosophy" is exactly right and practical. So there nutritionists! Its what we did and the ladies are healthy and we enjoy at least 40% of our meals together!

Also - Fredric Jameson talks about "nostalgia for the present" - I never felt it until I had the littles - and then it was so overpowering as to be unpleasant at times. Now I only have it after 4pm.

Your life sounds a lot like ours (coffee, records, baby) except we're trying to get her to nap - something Neko really really dislikes...but all in all, it is all strawberry jam :) Love these peeks inside your life with June...and, hearing the stories my mom tells me, I have no fear that our 'parent of the decade' moments make our kids no worse for wear :)

Breast is best, for sure, so you are right not to worry about solids. I always felt bad, in fact, introducing foods to my children. I wanted them to be sustained on nature's milk as long as possible. It only lasted one year for each, alas.

I remember when my kids were little, at each stage I'd think wistfully to myself, "I will miss this stage so much when it's gone. He'll never be this amazing and cute again..." And you do miss those times, but then they grow and become charming in new ways. You'll see!

Brene Brown talks about joy as "the most terrifying, difficult emotion." When she shared the idea of "foreboding joy" - when you are having a great moment and you feel a pang of horror that something bad will happen - this really validated this very human experience for me. Joy is often bittersweet. Your writing, full of Truth, always captures the lovely and messy and sweet and sad parts of life in a way that makes fear melt away. Thank you for that. June and her strawberry-jamminess could not be cuter.

Lovely to see you and your baby back here. If/when you are ready for the solids, one website I found very helpful was www.wholesomebabyfood.com -- easy ways to cook real food for your baby at the same time you are cooking for your family. Anyone who starts their babies on garlic is ok in my book!

Ok, you finally got me leaving a comment for the first time!!! I must admit that what did it was Tea-for-the-Tillerman-in-the-morning...You see, when I was little, and woke up with some kind of school-blues, my dad always put this album on the record player, and sang "Sad Lisa" to me, till I was smiling again...

(I should have done this a long time ago) Thank you for giving us such a wonderful book, thank you for sharing your words here, thank you for the "winning hearts and minds chocolate cake" and the triple chocolate scones (just mentioning the highlights :p) and now, thank you for reminding me this precious memory in the middle of an, otherwise dull, afternoon at work. Thank you.

Eliza

ps: your little one is adorable. And if she smells like strawberry jam, don't ever bring her to Paris. I might eat her :)

Funny that it took your blog to tell me the BlogHer Food conference is happening here in Austin - NO publicity here that I've seen. Sorry I already have plans to be in San Francisco this weekend. I'd add Eastside Cafe to the recommendations since they have a lovely garden (not at all like the wonderful space behind your restaurant.) BTW, I had a dog whose face smelled like corn tortillas. Everyone thought I was crazy when I mentioned it, but then they'd smell her and agree.

Ahhh, Tea for the Tillerman! A great album. I used to pull out my Daddy's LP and stare at the cover, over and over. So fascinating to my little-girl self. My Dad passed away a couple of years ago and I am loving listening to Cat Stevens right now, even though it's bittersweet.

Your June is so adorable! Don't worry about her not being interested in solid food. My second son breastfed almost exclusively for a year. I was kind of worried but figured it would all work out. It has!! So glad you're enjoying motherhood and I love reading your posts.

oh, your little girl is just a cute cute cute dollie! I like your approach to food - wish I had been MUCH more laid back with our oldest. Both my school-age kids are excellent eaters now because we never went with the concept of "kid food" and they ate the same good stuff we eat.

June is just precious! I am so glad that the stroller rolled off without her. Scary moment!

Yay! Yay! Yay! that you will be at BlogHer Food! This is my very first conference and I am so looking forward to it. I've loved your blog for ages and adored your book so I will try very hard not to squeal when (I hope!) I get to meet you.

I loved reading that June is mostly breast fed. My daughter is now 34 and at nine months it was the same for her. Her first food was about 6 months and it was a little piece of banana. When she was two, we lived in the Methow Valley in Washington and we had friends who had a tofu business. Every Friday I would buy fresh tofu and my daughter and I would go home and cut some into chunks, add a little Dr. Bronner's mineral sauce (Bragg's is the same) and sprinkle nutritional yeast on top. We both LOVED it and still do!

Years ago, our pediatrician told me breast milk only for a year, then add whatever the rest of the family was having, in baby bite-size pieces or mushed up with a fork. This worked out very well. At a year, she was grabbing food off our plates. She never went through a picky phase and has been wonderfully healthy all her life. Your instincts are absolutely right, just keep on doing what you know works best for you and June. What an adorable kid! I so enjoy your writing. Also want to tell you that the cream cheese cake in your "Eureka" post has been a great success. I've made it four times in the bundt shape, once with added cocoa for a chocolate flavor. All those eggs produce a delightful crust on top. So yummy.q

June is so adorable! I have 3 young grandsons I love beyond measure but I have to tell you, seeing your daughter is making me hope there's one more grandbaby in my future:-) And you're right to not sweat the small stuff with her food education--she'll be just fine.

Your philosophy of feeding children sounds just right and not naive in the least! I was fortunate to read a book called "How to get your child to eat, but not too much" by Ellyn Satter early in my parenting experience, and her research shows that your philosophy is ultimately what creates the best lifelong relationships with food. She calls it the "division of responsibility:" parents provide healthy food at regular times, and children choose whether or not to eat it and how much. No forcing, cajoling, punishing, etc. It can be so difficult for met to play it cool when my now 3 year old gets finicky, but I know it is ultimately worth it to just chill out about it! June is a doll baby!

OMG-you have captured the exact description of what my baby's head smells like! I long felt he had a delicious, breakfast-y scent about him-now you have put it into words. I continue to love reading what you write. Kudos to you for letting June plow her own way when it comes to eating. I think you might be on to something there-trusting our children to know when they're ready. I was in total panic mode when my little guy didn't immediately take to solids (and I did wait until six months to try), but just kept nursing him a ton, and hoped for the best. Now there is almost nothing he won't sample, and we all eat the same meals.

I also wanted to tell you that I picked up your book a few days ago so that I could make the yogurt cake, and I sat down for a few hours reading, probably for the hundredth time. I love the book so much-it's like a curling up with a warm blanket. Can't wait for the next one!

You're not naive, you're smart to use your motherly intuition! Breast is best! :) My little one had little interest in solid foods until 1 year. Even now, at 22 months she still loves mama's milk, although she also eats what we make. You and your husband seem to have a wonderful relationship with food so it seems you're doing a healthy and wise thing not to force feed her if she's not showing interest. One day soon enough she will love cooking and eating with you!

Molly, she is so sweet and you sound so happy as a family.I have long loved Tea for the Tillerman, and never have seen anyone else mention it. Thank you.As a mom of an almost 3 yr old boy and a 14 month old girl, I get it.My son was into solids from about 7 months on, my daughter still prefers a liquid diet. Keep calm and carry on. Easier said than done, I do realize.

Molly, I've read your blog for years, but have yet to comment until today. I came over to look for something with strawberries to bake tomorrow for Father's Day. A quick search on your site yielded this, from 2005:

"This cake is another slight variation on the yogurt cake I wrote about last August....Strawberries will be woefully out of season for another few months, but....The cake rises tall in the pan, and the strawberries collapse onto themselves, leaving moist, jammy pockets. The result has a light, moist, not-too-sweet crumb—perfect with coffee in late afternoon or with a melty scoop of ice cream after dinner. It tastes like June, like things to come."

Here is another nod for the food approach, wise mama :-) Both my girls (9 & 7 now) were fed the same way and they now sit and eat what is available when they are hungry. They love our home cooking (lots of plants!) and appreciate meals made for them when they are guests, even if it means trying a new thing. My youngest one barely touched anything till 13 months when she reached into my salad with her pudgy hand, pulled out a handful and stuffed it in, chewing happily. We have never catered to 'individual' meals during family meal times and it has never been a problem. Of course there are favorites, but don't we all have favorites. I'll take cake!

Hi, I just finished reading your book and I loved it. It has made my Christmas present list quite easy. I have already made the corn cakes and the chocolate cake and they were a great success. My son and his family live on Vashon Island so I have forwarded them the info on Delancy and hope to visit myself soon when I come out for a time. Now I have searched your blog and discovered June and she is adorable!!! Good luck to you and I hope you have a "proper" oven by now!!!

I just wanted to say how happy I am for you, and Brandon, and how lucky little June is! I still remember, years ago, when Brandon came to visit me (while I was living in Denver) on his way out west to meet the girl whose blog he was so taken with. That you two have found such a beautiful love and created such a marvelous life fills my heart with joy.