Finding a relationship, love, getting married and settling down are milestones that many of us take as a given, of course we will end up married in the end! And of course we’ll be with our partner until we’re old and gray! Unfortunately, it isn’t quite that simple—but the media would have us believe otherwise.

Even when films take into account that couples fight and people grow apart, the prevailing theme is that everyone ends up coupled in the end. Breakups tend to be a means to new relationships. Couples live happily ever after. Soul mates break up, only to be reunited by the forces of fate in the end. There’s one special person for everyone, and life with that person is always positive, fulfilling and predestined.

Talk to a relationship expert, though, you will begin to learn that things are not so black and white. Here are a few things media and movies get wrong about romantic relationships.

While you should never accept violence or abuse (physical or emotional) from a partner, expecting that your partner will always put you before him or herself is sure to lead to disappointment. Human beings are well only human. Part of a long-term, loving relationship is accepting the other person’s imperfections. Obviously, your partner should take your feelings into account, but failing to act lovingly once in a while is inevitable.

Besides, asking your partner to change simply for your benefit can be a selfish request on your part.

Hard Work Only Looks Like Putting On Lingerie

Hard work can take a lot of different forms. It might mean making sure to clean up the dishes every night before bed because you know that leaving them in the sink will offend your partner. It might mean turning down the potential to find a “soul mate” when you sense a connection with another individual. It might mean moving across the country for your partner’s new job. Hard work doesn’t just mean keeping things hot and passionate.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could talk about a marital issue once, reach a resolution and have that be the end of it? Unfortunately, that is not the case. Marital issues require extended thought beyond the actual fight. They require making changes to long-term habits, sifting through emotional issues that can date back to childhood and seeking the help of a relationship counselor when necessary.

Relationships Have To Last Forever

About half of marriages end in divorce. We often quote that statistic as a sad, depressing portrayal of modern relationships, but in fact, divorce isn’t the worst thing in the world. Yes, it’s difficult and sad, but personal growth sometimes requires us to move on when a relationship is no longer healthy. Happily ever after isn’t the only path to a happy, successful life.

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AWAYE OLUWATOBI is an advocate of attitudinal change, leadership, personal development, life skill coach and digital strategist. A professional trainer, speaker and humanitarian who take interests at contributing to the lives of the Teens and Youths in African and most extremely in Nigeria as the populated black country in African and the world.
Oluwatobi is the author of UNDERSTANDING YOU BETTER a book that tells you things you need to know about you, why you do the things you do and the best way to overcome yourself weaknesses.