Over-connection and possessive relationships over three generations: a case of Latrodectus mactans

by Alize Timmerman

Prescribing over the
generationsIn my practice, I often work with families and extended
families. Interesting situations occur when three generations, the grandmother,
the mother and the child, are all patients in the practice, so the family line
can be observed by the therapist. Sometimes, the genetic and psychological
backgrounds seem to play out a similar role over the generations and this highlights
the miasmatic situation of the patients. We see how the sensation is transferred
over the generations.

In the three
cases discussed below, the remedy was the same for all three people. The remedy
we are discussing here is Latrodectus mactans, a spider remedy known for
helping with cardio-vascular problems, where the symptoms are connected at an
emotional level to possessive claiming behaviors within family relationships,
so the remedy also helps to solve the connection/disconnection emotional problems.

The mutual
situation is one of a child being raised without the presence of a father. The
parent leans emotionally on the child, which results in the child carrying the
burden of the previous generation, leading to psychological and emotional disorders
(1, 2).

Sacrifice and possessionIt starts
with neglect of the self, sacrificing oneself on the parent’s behalf. This
over-connectivity, too much connection,
results in needy behaviour in their relationships. Each generation shows the
same possessive, clingy, claiming behavior toward the next generation, or towards
their partner. A complication is that when one person tries to disconnect him-
or herself from this process, the person trying to possess them tumbles into a
whirlpool of frustration and despair, not knowing how to continue their life.

The first to
come to the practice was the mother, followed by the grandmother and then the
girl. The observations on the great-grandmother came from the grandmother.

Case one: the woman (mentioned
as mother in the diagram)The first
one to come to the practice was the daughter of the grandmother. Her first visit
was when she was 27 years old, a teacher of street dancing, she as overactive
and hard working, with a very slim figure.

Intense relationshipsShe had had
many relationships, in which she often got lost. Most of her previous
relationships went the same way as the present one. Her present relationship is
with a younger man. They quarrel a lot; she attacks him on things like being
too late, spending too little time with her, not paying attention to her.
Sometimes, the quarreling gets quite heavy, fights bordering on physical abuse.

In the
interview, she implies she has a feeling that she cannot go on living if they
split up. She is prepared to sacrifice everything for this man. When her
boyfriend is not around, she feels utterly abandoned, she feels desperate. She
feels trapped in the sense that she sees no further reason for living without
this boyfriend.

Previously,
she had an intense sexual relationship with a man, but the relationship had the
same destructive possessiveness. In another relationship, she could share
mundane things with her boyfriend, and it was a less violent relationship, but without
any sexual passion or attraction between them.

For years,
she has had a difficult relationship with her mother. Her mother was very
manipulative with her, seemingly very loving and caring, but at the same time
drawing attention to herself. The patient says that when she was with her
mother, she felt as if she was drawn into the energy field of her mother. She
broke up the relationship with her mother because it felt like she was
suffocated by her mother’s attention.

Imprisonment to her feelingsShe teaches
dancing; as long as she can dance, her energy seems to be inexhaustible. She
longs for a child, thinking a baby will change her life completely.

The reason
she visits the practice is her wish to change her attitude towards her
boyfriend, to avoid the extreme fits of anger she gets, and to get rid of the imprisonment
to her feelings of abandonment when her boyfriend is not around.

Some years
later, she is not with this boyfriend anymore and has a child (girl) whom she is
raising without a father (the child is the result of sperm donation of a good
friend).

Case two, the grandmother (about 60 years
old)The mother
of the first patient came to the practice some time after her daughter. Her
complaint focused on a stabbing pain in her heart, radiating towards her left
arm, and some cardiovascular related problems presenting as high blood pressure
and the beginning of diabetes type 2. She thinks the diabetes is connected to
the heart problems.

When she
entered the practice, I saw a very nice, quiet woman. The first thing she
mentioned is that she feels that her own mother (the great grandmother in the
diagram) claimed her completely during her childhood and adolescence.

Carrying the burdenHer father
died when she was very young, and after he passed away, her mother burdened her
with all the family problems and practicalities. So, she became confused, she lost
herself and became an extension of the feelings of her mother. It felt like she
had been taken over by her mother, mentally and emotionally. Thus, carrying the
burden an adult person would normally carry, she constantly felt very tired. At
the same time, she loved her mother very much. When her mother died, although she
was already a mature person, it felt like a heavy blanket was lifted from her
shoulders.

She had
insomnia for years, not being able to think about anything else but her mother at
night. When she woke up in the middle of the night, she had a terrible
headache; her head felt like a balloon, swollen and nearly on the brink of
snapping. She felt agitated, with heart palpitations.

Case three: child (3 years old)The daughter
of the dance teacher is the third member of the family to come to the practice,
age 3 years old. The girl is very pretty, engaging, attention seeking, and has
many friends who essentially do as she commands them. She has imagined a
father, to compensate for the absence of a real father. She starts crying as soon
as she loses visual contact with her mother. In a very intelligent way, she
claims her mother totally. She is very intense in her way of speaking.

During the
interview, she complains constantly about abdominal pains and headaches. The
abdominal pains are worse in the evening, she can only calm down when she lies
down on her belly and she feels the warmth of lying in this way.

Her mother
is distraught. She cannot physically keep connected with the child 24 hours a
day. Thus, the relationship between mother and daughter is rather stressful.

AnalysisThe three
cases (and stories about the great grandmother) show striking similarities. All
the women grew up without a father or with a father who passed away during their
early childhood. They all compensate for the gap in the family situation by
developing an intense possessiveness “over connection” to their parent, or vice
versa, to the child in their care.

Symptoms of Latrodectus mactans relevant
in these cases are:

Stitching pain in the heart
region, extending to the left arm and fingersCramps in abdomenSensation of death or dying,
accompanied by utter sadness and despairShrieking, shouting, cryingClaiming behavior towards love
ones, manipulative behavior, stalking othersOver connection with loved onesAll feelings are very intense,
both physical and emotional.

The absence
or the loss of a parent can trigger or enlarge the Latrodectus mactans symptoms.

In the cases discussed here,
the main theme is “over-connection”, being unable to escape the over-dependency,
and a feeling of sadness and despair, which results in anger when the
connection is broken – or even if it just seems to be broken.

This can result in somatic heart
problems, palpitations and cramps, radiating to the left side of the body.

An interesting way of analysing
the case is by bringing all the symptoms in this family together as one unity. So,
we are treating over the generations, treating the miasm in the family and
healing the background for deep-seated disease and emotional and psychological
problems.

I was only
sure of having chosen the right simillimum after I had seen all three of them.

In the case of the mother, I
prescribed Latrodectus mactans C 220/5 (dilution of C220 from a trituration
to the 5th level) one dose, then a second dose a month later.

After three months, her
behavior stabilised, especially towards her boyfriend.

In the case of the
grandmother, the remedy was Latrodectus mactans, LM2, for three weeks, a
daily dose related to the high blood pressure. After three weeks, the doses
were reduced to twice a week. After about half a year, the pains have
disappeared and the blood pressure is under control.

In the case of the girl, I
gave one dose of Latrodectus mactans C200. The abdominal pains
disappeared and her clingy behaviour diminished.

Treatment of three
generations with problems and disorders all related within different levels of one
remedy picture, resulted in amelioration of the complaints of all three
individuals and the restoration of more normal family relationships.

SourceLatrodectus mactans, black widow spider, is a venomous species
of spider. The female has an hourglass figure with distinctive black and red
coloring. They are known for the fact that the female may eat the male after
mating, if the male is ensnared and unable to escape.