i feel terrified and have no control when i think about labor and birth

it freaks me out, and gives me anxiety so bad. I'm a big wimp when it comes to pain, and very conservative and modest so the idea of my male doctor being right up in my vagina and it all hanging out scares me too. please someone comfert me or something so i can put my mind too rest

Try to relax, I know it's scary, the unknown and the lack of control, but I have had both a natural birth and one with an epidural and can honestly say if you don't like pain, the epidural will be the way to go and MAN is it lovely;) I didn't get mine till 9.5 CM with my second child (long story, but basically after a natural labor and 1 hour of pushing I was told to lay down, stop pushing, and let the contractions move the head down or I'd have a c-section so I got the epidural because I couldn't NOT push) but it was WONDERFUL. I am not one to push drugs on people, if a woman WANTS to do it naturally then I am a big supporter of that, it was my goal and I acheived it with my first and ALMOST with my second. This time I am having an open mind, we'll see how I feel when I'm in the thick of it. But you will be so excited to meet your baby that you won't care about a male doctor checking you and being all in your private areas:)

Ok I can ease your mind more than! But I didn't want to be the one pushing one on someone who wasn't interested lol

After the epidural with all of mine I was able to relax, chit chat with my friends and family and felt completely in control. I started to feel the urge to push, let the nurses know, a few pushes later, baby! I never felt any pain while pushing thanks to the epi!

You can do this! It is normal to be freaked out, but you will be fine. If the pain is the most anxiety inducing aspect of labor for you, then definitely let your OB and the nurses know that you would like an epidural as early as possible. You can also discuss your pain management options at your next appointment so you can hear all the pros and cons before you are in labor. In fact, tell your OB exactly what you have said here (about anxiety and modesty) and try to have a frank conversation with him about it. Believe me, OBs have seen it all, but that doesn't change how you feel, so let him know your concerns. Getting it all out on the table beforehand will hopefully help ease some of your concerns and help you feel more prepared and in control for when labor actually does start.

FTM also and I just switched from a female OB to a male OB and although I'm super happy with my choice(he supports natural birth which I'm for) I also thought about the same thing him being up in my "business", but I remember what my aunt told me when I was younger.. That they're just doing their job like a dentist who looks at teeth all day, well obgyns look at hoohaas all day, they've seen it all. Weird comparison I know, but true lol