I think one of the dumbest things I have ever done while sparring was in karate. While doing a bit of light sparring I decided to be somewhat retarded by using combos from a certain video game character from a fighting game. Now it did actually work against two people, however trying that stupid approach against the instructor was something I should have not tried. It was an epic fail. Anyway I will still try stupid **** whenever possible because to me having fun when training is the most important aspect.

Oh, its like that time I did that thing, from that one movie! Oh, that time. The look on my opponent's face was definitely a look. It was like the look that actor gave that actress in that movie when they were doing that thing. It reminded me of other times that I did a thing that was like a different thing.

Sorry I was a bit lacking in info lol, I was in a hurry. The character I mimicked was Jan Lee from doa and yes it's as retarded as it sounds. But it should be mentioned I was really bored that day and in an obnoxious mood. It didn't work so well for me. But again I do some stupid **** from time to time no surprise there.

Sorry I was a bit lacking in info lol, I was in a hurry. The character I mimicked was Jan Lee from doa and yes it's as retarded as it sounds. But it should be mentioned I was really bored that day and in an obnoxious mood. It didn't work so well for me. But again I do some stupid **** from time to time no surprise there.

DOA? Does that mean you tried to distract them with your physics-defying titty jiggling?

This one is kinda long winded but funny. Once upon a time (early '90s?) I went to a shiai in Mississippi. This was a special shiai, because it was part of an outdoor, camp-out in the woods by a lake kind of martial arts camp. Mind you, I didn't go to the camp, just to the shiai to referee and then compete. In any case, I get there, and being Mississippi (southern) in some hot part of the year (always pretty much), I'm very glad I didn't camp out.

So, the shiai venue is set up...you guessed it, outside. Nice level piece of ground, chairs all around, really pretty cool. Until I took off my shoes (as a referee) to inspect the mats for cracks and other dangerous features. There wasn't any shade...so the mats had been in the burning Mississippi sun all morning...I right away jumped off. I felt like I had stepped onto a hot skillet !

So I go to the tournament/camp director and explain. He checks it out, and agrees no way can we have bare footed kids doing judo 1. In the sun and 2. On broiler temp mats.

Next, we look around for some shade. There is a large tree of some sort about 100 yards away. So we get some help and set up the mats in the shade cast by the tree. Problem is, it's not level ground (bumpy) and on a slope !

Well, the show must go on, and despite my warnings of liability blah blah blah, we have our shiai on sloping, bumpy ground on fold out gym mats. Rebel Yell !

Things go well, and it comes my turn to compete. I'm a black belt already, and it's an open weight/rank men's division. I do well, my typical seoi nage and kouchi stuff, plus a couple of arm bars. It's still blazing hot, and I feel more like an imagined samurai grappling on the battlefield than a judoka, but what the hell, right ?

So for first and second place it comes down to me another black belt. He's special, being maybe 5'10 and 250 pounds, with me at 5'7 and 145 lbs. No worries, though, he was slow as a slug. Not unskilled, but not impressive to my young (late 20s) judoka mind.

Match starts, and I throw him for a waza ari with seoi otoshi. We dance/lumber/stagger around a bit, end up in a scramble on the ground. I have the bright idea to do what is now called "recover guard" and of course, I'm confident he'll stick his arm above my waist like most unsophisticated judoka, and I'll armbar him from (what was then not known) as guard. ***

So I maneuver, set him up, here comes the arm, right according to plan. Wait, what's wrong ? I can't move ! What the **** ? This huge sweating whale is in my guard, which I can't seem to "open", and I cant' really move...

It seems I had rolled into a depression in the hills and dales of the folding mat, caused by the uneven ground (and not a few tree roots) under it. Whale-man gets this evil look on his face, and lays his large gut onto my chest, grabs my arm, and performs the Ude Garami **** from hell on me. It was pure shoulder, no elbow, and in any case I was tapping right away.

So I get a silver medal, a bad sunburn, and a sore shoulder for my 3 hour trip to Bumfuck, MS and my cockiness.

*** I realize you "younger" guys and gals think that there was no such thing as "armbar from guard" in Judo until the Gracies hit the scene and we judoka stole the idea from them, then claimed it for our own. But I assure it did exist and was done. By me at least !