oh god no "True Life: I am SIU Basketball Player", I shall never
hear the end of this. To get the idea, pretend I just said "True Life: I am
Dayton Flyer!" and Rick updated every day.

TV PG LV entertainment the Rock wants Stone Cold and not Booker T (:39)
open fireworks - you know, the Coach sounds really white this week. More than
usual!

Rodney Mack (Lafayette, Louisiana, 265 pound w/Theodore Long) vs - "You
know, let me hollar at you playa'. You know, there's been one whole week that
has went by, and Theodore Long and Rodney Mack have not been seen on RAW yet.
Now I don't know how stupid you people think I really am. Now I want you to know
that me and Rodney, we know that the man is trying to hold us back. And we know
that you people are afraid to stand up to the man. So [distracted by the fans]
Well, I'll say this - I want you to understand that all you people are afraid of
me and Rodney Mack [heat machine turned to high suddenly] and the main thing is
that because you know what we are about. And we're about, we're about thuggin'
and buggin, and that's what we're going to do to every WWE superstar and
especially the one that we're facing tonight, Tommy Dreamer, and that's off the
hizzle for chizzle, you feel me playa? Now, Tommy Dreamer, get ready for your
nightmare, because it's time to back a Mack. You feel me? Come get it done right
now.

Rodney Mack (w/Theodore Long) vs Tommy Dreamer (Yonkers, NY, 252 pounds,
w/Singapore cane) - Teddy points to the cane, as if to say "I'll hit
you with that sometime during this match." When Not Coach says "You've
been on the road a lot, Lita", I wonder. The Top 10 Reasons You Might Be A
WWE Superstar on Dreamer's shirt are as you'd expect from a WWE viewpoint. Teddy
wastes no time in getting the cane, Tommy wastes no time in being distracted and
Rodney wastes no time in beating him down to the mat. Choke choke cane taken
away by the referee. Whip jumping shoulderblock by Mack. Exciting punching in
the corners. Mack's punches do look good but it is Dreamer so who really knows.
Corner whip, and he goes down. Dreamer comes back by blocking a turnbuckle
smash, but Mack cuts him off with a knee. Overhead belly to belly suplex. One
two no. Lita: "Even if I find Rock slightly annoying, I've never been
opposed to seeing him in his tights" uh oh Matt's gonna be jealous. Right
hands. Whip, sunset flip (by Dreamer!) one two no. Clothesline hits by
Mack to take back control. Whip, reversed, Tommy's head is down too soon so he
gets kicked (more in the shoulder), Mack off the ropes and gets powerslammed.
Dreamer with a clothesline to take him out. Mack pulls him out and I'm so bored
with this match. Even though it doesn't seem to make any sense for his style,
Mack goes to the top rope- too long and Dreamer crotches him on the top rope,
then hangs him in the tree of woe so he can do the crotch stomp. Teddy logically
argues for a DQ but there's no logic here. Dreamer goes for the cane, getting it
before Teddy can. That'd be awesome if it connected (Dreamer's a moron either
way) but no Mack ducks, kick, slam no Tommy lands behind, kick wham DDT but Mack
hooks the top rope. Swinging neckbreaker one two three? (3:59) Wow, he's
got the same finisher as TORRIE WILSON. What a tough guy. Now it can be told -
your announcers are Lita and SmackDown's Marc Loyd - if you're
asking for an explanation of why he's allowed here, you haven't been watching
for long enough. (Although maybe this is an exchange for the time where Lita
was on Velocity...with Marc Loyd.) If you're wondering where Coach is,
you're a moron. I'm sorry to be the one to let you know, but I couldn't keep it
in no longer. Lita and Loyd are talking about wrestling or something, I dunno.

Steven Richards vs Al Snow, much much much Later

Imag-eye-WHAT? That's one of those Steven Richards made up words, even if
I've heard them say it before. If Tommy Dreamer is Mr. Extreme like they said
about 10 times during that last match, does he still need to read the Hardy Boyz
book? Maybe they mean Xtreme, yea that'sit.

Spike Dudley (150 pounds) vs Matt Stryker (183 pounds, already) - Why
isn't Spike announced from Dudleyville ever? Did Cincy turn on Stryker after his
loss to Shannon Moore last night? I wouldn't really blame them. There's a little
known rule I have about recapping only one Matt Stryker match per weekend, so
sorry. Spike wants a handshake but Matt's a heel, baby. A heel who's getting
shown up by Spike. Loyd is SHOCKED that Morely cheated the Dudleyz. Lita mocks
him, good for her. To his credit, this is not Spike Match #1 - nice to see that
he'll try to wrestle someone else if he's wrestling someone within 50 pounds of
his weight. Chavo's got the better European Uppercut but Spike tries to see
exactly how much can oversell it. Here's the Spike Melody of Rollups For Two
Counts sequence we all know and tolerate. Nice jumping side kick by Stryker.
Sometime later, there's the Dudley Dog. (4:16)

2 Weeks Ago, we can't show blood in color. Well actually that's now that
they're not doing the blood thing (I wonder if they'll be able when we move to
TNN, shouldn't they start to mention that already?), but it's weird because they
go to color shot for Jericho and then switch to the black and white when they
show HBK from the front. "I'll see you at WrestleMania! Call your cable
operators right now!" (1:30) This graphic is graphic! Well not
really but it sounded funny in my head.

Last Monday, Rock and Austin and other people. (6:17) Stone Cold vs
Eric Bischoff tomorrow! Vince won't be there! He doesn't care about this show
this month.

Next, Molly vs Jackie

Lugz refusal to get a towel of Monday

Molly Holly (Mobile, Alabama) vs Miss Jackie (Dallas, TX) - This is
the eighth time they've done this match since last June on this show - Molly is
6 and 1. Molly was in the heel locker room but way in the back so maybe she's
still deciding. Lockup, Molly with a headlock, Jackie escapes with a wristlock,
armdrag into an armbar. Molly spins into a single leg takedown one reversed one
two reverse one two no. Molly up like a bolt, hammerlock on. Jackie with a
jumping snap mare to escape. Armdrag, armdrag. Whip, Jackie puts her head down
too soon, powerbomb? No, it's that kinda flapjack gutbuster, neat. One two no.
Beautiful double wristlock Northern Lights suplex one two no. Jackie's smashed
into the apron and stomped. Nice quick elbow drop. Side backbreaker one two no.
Whip, bodyscissors cradle by Jackie one two no. Clothesline misses, Lita says
"it's hard for the girls to get control in a match because they're just
right back on top of each other" and wow is it good not to have Coach here,
Jackie with forearms, Molly stops this with a knee. Kick is caught but Jackie
quickly throws it down and goes back to the forearms. Whip, reversed, Jackie
with a kip up, Molly tosses her, Jackie lands on the apron and Molly snaps her
neck over the top rope. Slam, now, Jackie falls behind, whip, Jackie with a back
elbow. Whip, Jackie with a flapjack one two no. Kick catch enziguri by Jackie
one two reverses into an inside cradle on two three! (2:52) Wow, she
didn't have to cheat! Lita: "We'll probably see these two again!"

Steven Richards (Philadelphia, PA, 230 pounds, w/Women's Champion
Victoria) vs Al Snow (Lima, OH, 226 pounds) - Steven points at Lita on his
way down. Victoria's wearing her Ode to Chyna outfit. Al is confronted at the
end of the ramp by Victoria, oddly. "What do you want?" "Nothing,
I'm just stalling you so Steven can ambush you with a forearm" and down
goes Al. Not a promising start! Steven throws him and starts punching to get
started. Stomping. Marc is still showing signs of his abusive relationship with
Michael Cole (and Rico and Bob Holly), it's almost sad. Punching, alternating
with kicks. Marc says Hurricane d. Rock was the biggest upset in the last 10
years of RAW. Oooh, they're mixing knees in. Steven with a chop, corner whip but
Al gets to slide stop on one of those per match and there's his kick catch
enziguri. Rights and chops. Victoria feels Steven's pain. Steven is eliminated
from the Royal Rumble. Al out as Victoria and Steven talk - Steven takes off,
but Victoria goes face to face with Al again. Victoria swings and misses, so Al
does the logical thing and gives her a big kiss. Steven ambushed Al from the
back so I guess it works out. Al thrown in and elbow dropped. Choke. Choke in
the corner. Lita: "When you said you're not much of a man, I thought you
might like Steven's pink tights." Stomps. Stomp to the head. Stomp to the
head. Choke. Jumping reverse neckbreaker. One two no. Seated full nelson, oh
wait - "LITA! LITA! THIS IS FOR YOU! FOR YOU LITA!" Rat Trap so Lita
can yell out the name of the move. Al looking for help from the crowd. The crowd
chants "WE WANT HEAD" which is apparently good enough. Back elbowing
out, and there's a shoulder jawbreaker, haven't seen one of those in a while.
Steven recovers to charge into punches. Whip, reversed, quickly - there's the
double underhook, does the crowd want it?, Al rubs Steven's face, Steven yells
"what the hell is that?" and here comes the headbutts. Reverse
neckbreaker one two NO. Whip, backdrop. Steven begging off, Al - slowed but
still going after him. Corner whip, reversed, Al whipped back into the corner,
Nick Patrick barely gets out of the way as Al shockingly pulls out another
slide, but gets tripped up by Victoria anyway. AL stumbling, right into the
SteeVeeTee one two three. (5:00) Steven is happy. Al less so.