On Mother’s Day, it is customary for children to bestow gifts upon their moms: handfuls of dandelions, a masterpiece of art made at school, thoughtful gifts purchased with Dad’s money, and then as they grow older, presents purchased with their own hard-earned cash. I relish in these thoughtful tokens of their admiration, but I wonder if they know how honored I feel to be their mother.

This Mother’s Day feels more poignant than years past. My daughter is in a serious relationship, and he has become her “go to” person for comfort and solace rather than me. My oldest son graduates from college tomorrow and has already found a job, nine hours from home. My two youngest will be around for awhile, but even they are changing and don’t need my love and assurance on a continuous basis.

I know I’ve been blessed. My children range in age from 26 to 12. I’ve been needed for many years, but the tides have shifted. They no longer require or want the constancy of my presence. They are forging out into the world, finding their way, and are independent creatures. I take pride in their ability to do this without me. Isn’t that the goal, for them to stretch their wings and fly…away?

Before they are completely gone with families and lives of their own, this Mother’s Day I want to give them a gift, a list of truths I have learned which they can refer back to when life gets hard and they don’t want to need mom.

Mom’s Pearls of Wisdom:

1- Life is not about finding out who you are, it’s about creating who you want to be.
2- Put your phone down. The virtual world is not nearly as exciting as the real one.
3- Keep your private life off of social media.
4- Your body and mind are connected. Keep both healthy.
5- Live your life on 80% of your income. Save 10% for retirement, and give the other 10% to help those less fortunate.
6- Negativity breeds negativity. Surround yourself with positive people.
7- Your mistakes don’t define you. What you do with them does.
8- Treat others the way you want to be treated- always.
9- Admitting ignorance is the most intelligent thing to do. Don’t pretend you know when you don’t.
10- Be the kind of person who puts the needs of his spouse before his own, and make sure you choose a spouse with the same belief.
11- Never compromise your principles for love. That ain’t love.
12- Don’t be afraid to say “No” if something’s not right for you. Don’t be afraid to say “Yes” when it is.
13- Silence is as powerful and hurtful as words. Choose yours wisely.
14- Believe in a Higher Power.
15- Humility and grace will take you farther than arrogance and judgment.
16- Set goals, then meet them.
17- Try everything twice just to make sure you really didn’t like it the first time.
18- Always find time to play.
19- Be You- Everyone else is taken.
20- Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right. (Henry Ford)
21- Treat the Earth with respect- without her, the first 20 won’t matter.

Jacqueline, Jacob, Cameron, and Maximus- I am proud and honored to be your mother.