This copy is for your personal non-commercial use only. To order presentation-ready copies of Toronto Star content for distribution to colleagues, clients or customers, or inquire about permissions/licensing, please go to: www.TorontoStarReprints.com

Most anti-bullying initiatives miss out on crucial advice: Teitel

Supportive emojis and online monitoring tools are undeniably well-meaning, but building self-esteem offline is probably a more useful strategy.

Students attend the Power of Being a Girl school conference, organized by YWCA Niagara, on Feb. 11. Such conferences should be as widely available to Canadian youth as celebrity-endorsed emojis and anti-bullying apps, writes Emma Teitel. (Jennifer Pellegrini)

This month in cyberbullying news, Oak Bay High School in British Columbia suspended its basketball team after a player posted a “highly inappropriate” photo of a teammate online. The photo was shared widely on social media, where, of course, the teammate pictured was ridiculed en masse.

As a result, the school’s administration forced the basketball team to forfeit its stellar season, a decision many students not directly involved in the incident strongly opposed — but a decision that is in every way wholly just.

It is just because cyberbullying isn’t an isolated episode, nor is it carried out by a single person acting alone; it’s a cultural cancer.

Like sexual assault, it’s an endemic problem in which very often, people who know one another hurt each other in unduly harsh and long-lasting ways — in full view of their social circles.

(Fun fact: the word “bully” itself originates from the Middle Ages Dutch word, “boel,” meaning “brother” or “lover.” When you think about how many cyberbullying cases begin among quarrelling friends, lovers and in this case, teammates, the word’s progeny makes a lot of sense.)

Article Continued Below

Luckily, the powers that be, namely government and celebrity, have begun to take notice — and more importantly, take action.

The federal government announced plans last week to escalate the fight against endemic cyberbullying by looking into anti-bullying tools online: programs that enable students to monitor hateful language and flag inappropriate social media posts.

In similar fashion, unlikely self-styled anti bullying activist Monica Lewinsky recently unveiled her own line of heart shaped “#BeStrong” Emojis, a tool she is encouraging young people use when they face adversity online.

All of this is good stuff. None of it will cause harm. But will it prevent or alleviate it?

I’m afraid it may not, because though undeniably well-meaning, there is something hugely important missing from most conventional anti-bullying initiatives. That thing is a crucial piece of mental health advice: take a break. Unplug. Get offline. Do something else.

It seems every institution’s answer to this technologically fuelled problem is some form of technology itself, whether it’s an app that flags hate slurs or an inspirational anti-bullying video on Upworthy.

Yes, of course, kids cannot avoid the Internet altogether — a world in which they do their homework and socialize with friends — but breaks are good for the body and soul.

The most valuable piece of advice I received from my dad amid my own first cyberbullying incident on chat room relic, MSN Messenger, in the early 2000s was, “Maybe you should turn that thing off for a few hours.” I did, and suddenly the world felt a whole lot larger and my pain, a little bit less acute.

But abstinence alone is only a temporary salve. What kids need — what we all need, really — is self-esteem. This is why school conferences such as Power of Being Girl, should be as widely available to Canadian youth as celebrity-endorsed emojis and anti-bullying apps.

The conference, organized by YWCA Niagara, brought almost 200 adolescent girls from around the area together this Thursday for special workshops and art therapy; all of which was designed, in the words, of Andrea Bozza, Mental Health Lead at Niagara Catholic District School Board to “promote self-esteem, self-image and the importance of accepting who you are.”

Though some students did share their thoughts on Twitter, “This was a day,” says Bozza, “about being in the moment and using mindfulness. It isn’t often you see this many people in a room not on their computers or cellphones.” Students talked about their feelings, and they drew them.

“What was really neat,” says Bozza, “is while the (guest) speaker was talking, girls were doodling and we noticed while we walked around they were writing things like ‘love the skin you’re in and ‘proud to be an independent woman.’ They weren’t prompted to write these things.”

All of this may appear corny or obvious, but when you’re in high school it isn’t. Everybody needs a little screen-free self-help from time to time and the demographic least likely to get it — teenagers — is the demographic that needs it most.

“There’s a whole world around you,” 15-year-old Brooklyn Daly, an emcee at the event, told me after the day was done. “Your phone will always be there, but other things won’t be.”

In the fight against cyberbullying, apps and emojis aren’t necessarily a bad idea. But perhaps building self-esteem away from the technology that depletes it is a better one.

More from the Toronto Star & Partners

LOADING

Copyright owned or licensed by Toronto Star Newspapers Limited. All rights reserved. Republication or distribution of this content is expressly prohibited without the prior written consent of Toronto Star Newspapers Limited and/or its licensors. To order copies of Toronto Star articles, please go to: www.TorontoStarReprints.com