There's a petition to retire the penny! The petition needs 100,000 signatures by July 10th, and the only way that's going to be possible is with support from all of the nerdfighters everywhere! Let's share this petition with John and the ineffable Hank!

Well, copper is a wonderful metal, but a penny is only 2.5% copper. The other 97.5 being zinc, an obviously inferior metal. We must purge the country of this coin made of an inferior metal who prances about acting as if it were superior copper!

I would, but I feel morally obligated to stay in the US. If I, and everyone like me, moved to Canada, that would leave the United States (having the most powerful military in the world) in the hands of the people I'd be trying to get away from.