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Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Dirty pop

This week pop culture has kicked me in the junk. So much stuff has happened.

My reaction to the VMA's:

Lady Gaga. I loved her performance after she ditched that weird face hole thing, but I gotta be honest - the first minute scared the shit out of me.

I didn't even know what twerking really was, and then Miley Cyrus twerked all over my soul. And you know what? I fucking loved it. I loved everything about that performance. Haters gonna hate.

Robin Thicke is amaze-balls. I have downloaded his latest album and I am fully obsessed. I'm trying really hard not to buy his five previous albums, but I probably will by the time I publish this post.

JUSTIN MOTHERFUCKING TIMBERLAKE. Are you KIDDING ME?! This is what my brain did during his VMA performance:

Oh my God. I love this. I fucking love this.

He's dancing. He's amazing.

I'm so glad he's not trying to pretend he's singing. He's just dancing.

I wonder if I can dance like this.

Dude. He's like going backwards with his songs. Maybe he will go so far back that NSync will pop up on the stage.

OMG NSYNC just popped up on the stage.

I did not even realize I liked NSync that much, and to be honest, now that I have calmed down, I realize I don't. But Jeez Louise Mary and Joseph, I LOVED them in that minute.

Could Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake's friendship be cuter?

I need Kanye to stop performing. He's a douche.

Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez are the 21 year old versions of me and Missy. Only they have more money and more awards.

I wish I could write about Bruno Mars and Katy Perry's performances, but I stopped watching after JT's performance. Because come on. The show was over after that. Come on.

So to sum it all up, I had just come off my Justin Timberlake high from Chicago, and now I'm right back up there.

The only thing that could have made the VMAs better would have been seeing JayZ and JT perform Holy Grail. That was the opening song of their Chicago show, but I spent it on my tiptoes trying to see over the assholes in front of me because I'm too short for my own good. So I want to see it again.

Other pop culture happenings that have me freaking out:

Kim and Kanye released a picture of North West and that baby is RIDIC. So cute. I hate Kanye, but his spunk produced a hella cute kid.

Speaking of Kardashians, apparently Khloe's husband is missing. Or drunk. Or high. Something. Whatever. I would be okay with that marriage ending, because come on. Thinking about them having sex is gross.

Ben Affleck is the new Batman. I'm a little scared. I mean, it'll be fine because I don't really care about the Batman movies. But I have a soft spot in my heart for Benny which stems from my college roommate Courtney being obsessed with him. So I don't like hearing people talk smack about him.

Pretty Little Liars had their summer finale tonight and it BLEW MY MINDHOLE. I want to rewatch every single episode because tonight's changed EVERYTHING.

I'm really annoyed with the Wendy's girl who claims to eat at Wendy's every day for lunch. Sister would not be that cute or that skinny if she was really eating that shit every day. And I tried the pretzel bun burger and it tasted like asshole. Quit lying, Wendy's girl. But I do like your hair.

Oh, and I am still looking for a job and health insurance, for those of you who care about my actual life. But don't you worry..I've got some stuff cooking.