Friday, July 8, 2011

And sometimes I trick myself into thinking that this is just what grownup life is. It's living in the matrix. You spend all of your time staring at a computer screen or at gridlock, and yes, of course life won't be as nice as it was in your 20s. That's how it's supposed to be. When you grow up, you toil away. No way around it.

But I know that's bull. You just have to work a lot harder to figure out that balance.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Sudden urge to move back to detroit. Tired of living in the matrix. Truthfully, I just want to go home. But you can't go HOME because, after 15 years, home is not how you remember it to be.

So what is it that I want? I want trees and grass. I want a short commute. I want real friends nearby. I want people to play music with. And a practice space. Maybe a community of musicians who I could go and watch weekend after weekend. Like the old times. I want time to go and see these people and do things with them after my work day.

These things don't seem so unattainable. Yet, where are they? After 9 years here, I'm starting to think they're not in Chicago.

Detroit, now that is just an illusion. At this point in time it's still pretty depressing, so let's just keep it at that. Or no?

Is there any work for us in Seattle?

I need to figure this out so that I can start working on it and don't waste any more time.