June 5, 2012

June 4, 2012

Have you seen this video featuring Vogue Magazine editor-in-chief and real life inspiration for The Devil Wears Prada, Anna Wintour? If you’re really, really, really lucky, you could win a special seat at a dinner hosted by this icky person, “MEE-shell” Obama and Sarah Jessica Parker (a/k/a “Dobbin”).

While she is so busy not pronouncing the letter “r,” I would love to see her get hit in the moosh with a cream pie. Poifect!

June 2, 2012

As you by now know, the Beloved Leader of New York City, by regulatory fiat, will outlaw the sales of any sugary beverages by restaurants, sports venues, movie theaters, delis, and street carts in New York City in quantities larger than sixteen ounces. It’s all about obesity, dontcha know. Soopernanny is looking out for you, because he knows best.
PRS Operatives have obtained a draft of future regulations contemplated by His Excellency:

Restaurants

1. Restaurants must cut all food into bite-sized pieces before it is served to the customer. Food served to customers 65-years old, or older, must also be pre-chewed by the restaurant staff.

There are several reasons for the City taking these actions. Soopernanny is mindful of the number of choking deaths resulting from people putting too much food in their mouths at one time and not sufficiently chewing it before swallowing (Older diners often lack the robust dentition necessary for proper chewing). This regulatory action will also serve to reduce the incidence of indigestion for New York’s restaurant customers.

2. Consistent with Rule No. 1 (above), restaurants will no longer be permitted to provide customers with knives. This will prevent diners from cutting themselves with sharp implements, which, can also serve as dangerous weapons. Forks will also not be provided, as pre-cut and/or pre-chewed food can be safely enjoyed with a spoon.

3. Desserts will be permitted, provided that they contain no sugar and are served in a maximum portion size of one cubic inch. Restaurants will be permitted to serve only one portion of dessert per customer, and the restaurant shall not permit the practice of dessert sharing.

Sports Venues

1. The stadium or arena may sell hot dogs, but they shall be no larger than cocktail franks. Under no circumstances shall any customer be permitted to purchase more than two hot dogs at a time.

2. Peanuts can be sold, provided they are contained in a bag made of recycled paper containing no more than six peanuts per bag. Under no circumstances shall any customer be permitted to purchase more than two bags of peanuts at a time.
Note: PRS Operatives will monitor future regulatory developments in the Nanny City across the Hudson River.

June 1, 2012

In my experience, plenty (if not most) people who drive with their dog in the car let Fido have the back seat to roam about and possibly even stick his head out the window (dogs seem to love that). I’ve also seen drivers who will simply sit the dog in the passenger seat. Some drivers even let the dog sit in their lap while driving.

Not surprisingly, sometimes the law is an ass, because the fine for driving a car with an unrestrained person in the car (including persons in the back seat) is $46.00. I guess the State Legislators don’t consider humans involved in a crash to be potentially dangerous projectiles.

I, for one, always wear a seat belt, and I always have everyone in the car buckle up. It just makes good sense to me, as does using a restraint on a pet (although when I had a dog he was free to lounge around the back seat and stick his head out the window, weather permitting). That said, I am not a fan of mandatory seat belt laws. If adults choose to ride around unbuckled (dumb, in my view), or choose to let Fido have the back seat, I don’t think it’s any of the government’s concern. As for letting your pooch sit on your lap while driving (really, really dumb in my view), no new law is necessary. I think a careless driving summons would be appropriate.