Me in this situation If I was both of them in this dialogue
Me(Ashton): "Cool. my names Ashton, but I prefer Daddy."
Me(Zelda): "Why would I call you my daddy if you didn't carry me in your ball sack?"
Me(Ashton): "No I didn't, but you can suck this ball sack."
*SHOTS FIRED*
OHHHHHHHHHHH!!!