Goal: Cassandra either A) wants to facilitate getting Zappelphillip and Angel out of NYC and to Anarch controlled Domains, assuming she can rescue Turner and that she can eventually convince her Sabbat buddies that suicide is bad and painful B) facilitate getting her and Pangloss out of NYC and to Anarch controlled Domains, assuming that she gets totally boned trying to rescue Turner (Her and Pangloss being well aware of the downsides of suicide.) or C) facilitate her shopping for Christmas presents and potentially renting out CROTCHFIST, assuming her plans are neither going skippy-deluxe-fantastic or bombing horribly.

Notes: Just so the STs know, the name of the Band that Lexi (Cassandra's Brujah ex-coterie-mate) and Tyler (Lexi's ghoul) are in is CROTCHFIST, so named because Lexi (lead singer performs on stage with one of those horrible arm-shaped sex toys harassed to her like a strap on. They are generally terrible. Unless you see them live (in which case, the performance art aspect of the group and Lexi's Presence make them really really good). Cassandra is trying to get them out to do a squat-concert for Pisces' charities.

I'm not going to fully outline all three scenarios, given the text wall it might well generate and the relative straight-forwardness of A and B, so I'm just going to shoot for outlining C:

Cassandra rings up her Freepers:

"Hey-ho! Sorry I'm not sending you anything yet Sabbat-wise, like I promised, I swear by all the multi-faceted boils on Beelzebub's balls that you will get THE MOST FUCKING FANTASTIC ARTICLE EVAR on Anarch-Camarilla-Independent relations in NYC by the end of the month if I am not dead.

Uh... deader... I guess.

Seriously things are very... volatile right now. Hard to write because the situation could be different tomorrow.

Anyhow... I... uh... I was wondering if you had anything more on that right wrighteous man Wright and his fun times in Cleveland. I hear he was a shitty Scourge. I hear he has a dead woman. Anything else? Does he have a rep for doing anything cool? Was he ever in a band? Did he like to go bowling? Did he watch TV? Did he have the same dry and menacing sense of humor he does now? Seriously... somebody must've gone through Cleveland at some point? What is this guy into? How can I start to get into his head... in a good way, not in a mind-penis way? What would YOU get him for Christmas?

Also... LANGSTON that old bastard! He has a dead woman. He's crazy as all hell. What would you get HIM for Christmas? If I don't get a response, the answer is a fruitcake.

Thanks as usual!"

After hanging up, Cassandra calls Lexi and leaves the following message:

"HEY LEXI! If say, I win the lottery (which I just did), whatwouldyasayto CROTCHFIST riding again!?

Crotchfist is invited to NYC. You make backup plans for in case anywhere from 2-4 people need to exit rather quickly.

Love Cassandra Goodchild; December 3, 2008

PERSONAL ACTION:

THE ANARCHS DO CHRISTMAS

...or rather, Cassandra does, because Pansy is draped over a kiddie pool all week long.

Brody: Assuming the best of all possible worlds, Brody's present is easy. It involves attaching a pretty red bow to the staked body of Miranda Turner. Assuming this is not the case, and that Cassandra's contacts proffer no other alternatives, the Anarchs get him a small set of Batman Lego kits such as might easily be fit into Cassandra's purse while perusing a local WalMart. This is an instance of the Anarchs just getting other people what it is that they really want. Seriously. The Penguin lego-man is fly.

Daria: Cassandra hits up Spencer's Gifts and finds whatever fiber-optic item that she feels would make the best friend and guardian during an acid trip. She then actually bothers to pay for it (It's bigger than a breadbox) and takes it home to modify - and by modify, I means she adds googly eyes to it some how to make it anthropomorphic. It's name is Rufus.

Haldor: Cassandra takes a hammer, twelve rain-sodden back-issues of some sort of conspiratorial newsletter, whatever she can get out of the closest Home Depot's dumpster, a jar of rubber cement, a $25 thrift-store wedding dress torn into pieces and soaked in wheat paste and apple green acrylic paint, and whatever else is lying around. She furiously assembles these items into a Crafts: Mixed Media x1 two dimensional sculpture in the likeness of Haldor with Expression x3 trying to evoke the emotion of "Endearingness" (which is endearingly not a real word).

Clarke: Clarke gets a ROBOT FROM THE FUTURE! Clarke loves the future. To make certain that this is authentic-ly future-y once he gets his Spirit Touching little hands on it, Cassandra is going to sit down with one of her allies who ISN'T Meeks for some drinking/smoking/what-evering and once he's a little relaxed she's going to use The Haunting (and possibly some Passion - up and down) on him and lure him into a parking lot, where she'll quickly duck out, Obfuscate, put a large plastic container over her head and then come back claiming to be a human-cyborg from the year 2037. Hopefully, this individual will be in a state of mind to believe this. Perhaps Rufus comes by to add to the scene. He will eventually be subjected to a lengthy and intimate session of having the spider droid probe his face, while he likely screams like a small child. Once this is done, Cassandra will remove the droid, quickly wrap it and cease to touch it thereafter. She will then Passion her friend the fuck down, apologize, ask if he needs help, act very empathetic, reminisce over the bad trips she's had and offer to pay for stuff next time.

(The idea is that there should be an obvious frightened time-traveler vibe from this if Auspex x3 is used on it.)

Seth: Seth gets a $100 gift card for whatever company puts out those hilarious catalogs you find in airplanes. You know... the ones with automatic hot dog bun crispers and the worlds best laser-guided nose-hair trimmer. Unfortunately, $100 probably only buys you something small, like the #1 European rated electronic toothpick

Pisces: Pisces gets an enamel butterfly pin Cassandra found half buried in the mud at a park.

Meeks: Meeks gets a fruit-basket and a promise to move out by the end of January.

Marcus: Marcus gets a $252.17 donation in his name to the most chill looking charity from Pisces' pamphlet. ($252.17 is the total of Cassandra's lotto winnings)

Langston: Unless otherwise influenced, Langston will get a fruitcake, which will be left at the wall with a bow and card. The card will read "Hope you have a nice Xmas. Enjoy this very not-poisoned cake that you can't eat. - C" There will be a winking smiley face drawn somewhere inside of the card.

Influence Response:

Your Christmas shopping is done! Consider it successful adventure replete with shiny loot for all your loved and not so loved ones.