THE STORY: Although we have had a lot of menacing weather this year, clouds don’t deter experienced Hashmen who know that it doesn’t rain between 6:30 and 7:30 on Mondays just as golfers know that it never rains on the golf course.

Well Plunger and Kitty Litter knew that too, so unperturbed by those menacing skies; laid their chalk and flour around the charming street settings of Birchrove/Balmain and stuck to Plan ‘A’ which was for tables and lamps to be dragged out to the grassy knoll of Ballast Point Park for the On-On.

Five minutes into the Run, wind and rain began to slow the runners and wash away the trail and made moving to Plan ‘B’ – the Rotunda in Elkington Park – the preferred option.

Fine – but now those optimistic Hares realised that they had no Plan ‘B’ for the ‘Bucket ‘ so instead of the promised gorgeous VIEWS across water to islands and twinkling cityscapes, a hurried shift of eskies had the sodden athletes sipping their ginger beer standing inside the Toilet Block.

The good news was that although the exotic blend of delectables was not served under the stars, Plan ‘B’, requiring no cooking or serving, actually worked! An unexpected 50 diehards stuck it out and were reasonably cosy, happy and dry.

THE RUN: Originally programmed for September, this track had been researched and checked so many times even the Trailmaster didn’t require a map. Just as we started the heavens opened as expected. The trail followed the waters edge past many regurgitated wharfies cottages, now valued in their millions, through narrow little lanes and stairways. Most made it to the Dawn Fraser Pool and Elkington Park where the Runners and Walkers diverged. From here, the 400 arrows, two bags of flour and roll of paper eventually disappeared under natures cruel onslaught. Now far away from Home, there was no choice but for Your Choice and the rest to push on.

Many made it to the Exchange Hotel and then the guesswork began. As the trail reached Darling street the downpour had washed out the chalk and conditions became sodden. At this point even the TM was lost and decided enough was enough and told those still on trail to abandon the run and head for home the best way they could. Amongst those looking for home Larry Adler, Polyunsaturated and Scud ended up lost on another headland, arriving just as Wombat appeared in his limousine, also lost. So the four eventually arrived at the bucket in style. Other arrivals home spread out from Bumcrack’s 30 minutes to Paylings and Tic-Toc’s 90. There was some concern (only some) that T-T (who had arrived by ferry) and the two visitors (who had come by cab) might be stranded at the wrong park not knowing wherethefuckarewe but Notary held the Bucket and rescued them.

Nice to see Wanker, Mash and Sheep Dip who, along with Mr Neat, claimed to enjoy the Run.

THE ON-ON: Kitty excelled himself with the catering, supplying Japanese Bento boxed entrees, hot Japanese main course, lamingtons and apples the size of footballs.
After Tooth Fairy told us about his having a cold this week, visitors from KL, Canada, Phil Kirkland’s son Scott, and ring-in Klangers from across the road all had Down-Downs. Then came Short Green Fuse; Hares Plunger and KL , and XXXX for a disparaging and unrepentant remark.

XXXX could have earned another D-D for flogging magazines with son YYYY on the cover and Copra too for disguising an invitation to visit his ranch as an excuse to sell his home grown honey. Next we’ll be buying nuts from Nutcracker and funny boat parts from E-Shit.

And finally, the only attempt at humour was a completely fabricated, unfounded, unfair and unfunny story about our Kitty Litter from T-T.

Speaking of Japanese, sadly they have been running out of body bags since the tsunami. It’s believed they are having to resort to using whiskey bottles, 16 Nips to the bottle.