If you haven't already, you can read the prequels to this post, Music Therapy part 1 and 2 here.

Music has always been a big part of my life. From the little girl that used to sing Pocahontas songs in front of her dad's friends ( I've seen pictures!!!) to the young adult that now writes songs and records music, I've always seen it as a way to express myself. The lyrics, the voices, the instruments, everything just connects with me deeply. This is why, when I go through a break-up, I try to ease the pain and speed up the healing process by listening to a certain soundtrack that I've compiled as my 'break-up soundtrack'. I've been using these songs for a couple of years now and I can honestly say they help me put everything into perspective.

The track has two parts: the first is made up of all Mariah Carey songs and is sort of a quick summary of the whole process; the second is made up of Kelly Clarkson songs and lets me go through process at a slower rate. By the second part, I've usually pulled myself together. The songs are:

It's like that-Mariah Carey: When I listen to this song I remember the first time 'we' met ('we' in reference to the guy and I). It reminds me of the excitement, the interest, the chemical attraction, the frisson from across the room and the sense that you've just met someone with the ability to impact your life in a big way. I'm usually pretty upset at this part but it helps me acknowledge the reality of the situation.

Behind these Hazel Eyes-Kelly Clarkson : This is when I sort of fantasize the relationship, making it out to be perfect when it wasn't. Here I ask myself how I'll be able to live without him. I feel only hurt here.

Breakaway-Kelly Clarkson:This is when I start to picture myself as ready to move on, by letting go of all the bad feelings.

Walk away-Kelly Clarkson : This song symbolises complete freedom of the relationship, and total independence. It's when I feel like I no longer need to stalk his facebook page, or follow his twitter, or hang on to any of the threads of the relationship. Total liberation!

Now, I'm not saying that by simply going through this soundtrack I become magically healed. After all, these things do take time. It's like I said before, I see it as a form of therapy and one that isn't going to break my bank or tip my scales anytime soon.

P.S. So let me know what you think. What's your favorite form of therapy? How do you get through a breakup? What songs would be on your 'break-up soundtrack'? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.

It's over - or at least it will soon be - and thankfully, I'm not alone in believing that this year has gone by too quickly. That is not to say I won't be glad to see it leave. Life is all about moving forward, after all, and although I have learnt a lot this year from my experiences, I'm glad to have a clean slate. That's why my song of the week is Go sung by Boys Like Girls. It's all about turning a new leaf and learning from your past. It has even inspired me to make a list of all the lessons life taught me this year, and to acknowledge them so that I can be grateful for them and not make any of the same mistakes again. So without further ado, here's my list:

Never settle for anything less than what I deserve: I mean I've already got high standards for myself. If I get anything below a B+ in subjects I'm generally not good in like the sciences, and anything less than an A in subjects I am good in like literature, and other arty subjects, I practically berate myself. But, when it comes to guys, for whatever reason, I allow my standards to fall. I dated someone that I knew wasn't who I should be with, and stayed with them just because it was comfortable. You know it's bad when someone who doesn't even know your boyfriend tells you (through the aid of tarrot cards, no less), that you need to raise your standards where men are concerned. Needless to say it ended badly (reminiscent of stalker-ex boyfriend movies) and I can now honestly say I've never appreciated being single so much before. It was very scary but at least I've learnt from this experience.

Give myself a break: I really am my own harshest critic and after having several people (including one of my oldest friends and several of my academic advisors when I told them how I wanted to complete 2 degrees and a minor in 3 years) tell me that I really do push myself too hard, I decided that its ok to give myself a break every once in awhile. Also, that I should learn to adapt my personal standards to every different situation.

Become more accepting of myself: To some this may sound like the last point but its really not. You see, after having breathing difficulties and being disagnosed with asthma, I was told that I show a lot of the symptoms associated with adult ADHD (attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder). ADHD occurs because a difference in the chemicals and the positioning of neurons and neurochemicals in the brain.

Common symptoms include: carelessness and lack of attention to detail,continually starting new tasks before finishing old ones,poor organisational skills, inability to focus, or prioritise, lateness to activities, continually losing, or misplacing, things,forgetfulness, inability to complete tasks or stick with tasks, and sometimes depression as a result of the condition. Its not a disease but a developmental disorder and apparently I've probably had it since I was a little kid, but was diagnosed since in girls its usually shows in their quiet and dreamy demeanor instead of the more disruptive forms. I'm getting officially tested soon but either way, I've decided I'm just going to learn to work with it and be more accepting of things that I just can't do.

Do more of the things I like and not what I think I should do: I almost became a double major in journalism just because I thought it would look good. I was so convinced that it was the right thing to do, that it took me several days of career testing and interest evaluating for me to realise that I want to be my own boss and I just can't do that in traditional print journalism. I still love media literacy and writing though, so I'm a film studies minor instead of an journalism double major.

So goodbye 2009. Thanks for the memories.

But before I end this unusually long post (I'm sorry. I got a little carried away), here are some of the links that inspired me this week:

Get up and Go...to the café: Ah, the café. The stereotypical artist haven, where those seeking inspiration go to observe life in a cosy, warm and friendly environment. This article by Café Fashionista has moved me to rediscover the magic of my neighbourhood café.

Maybe its just me, but I think using Kool-aid as clothing dye is pretty fascinating. This is one of the DIY projects I want to try out as soon as possible.

This place reminds me of Northern Ireland , my favorite place in the world.

Love you all and Stay inspired,

P.S. So let me know what you think. Did the year go by too fast? What did you learn from your past experiences this year? Did you learn anything new about yourself this year and if so, what? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.

A major part of budget shopping is knowing how to make use of your limited resources and stretching these resources as far as they can go. This is why knowing how to make the most of sales, thrift stores and your personal closet is so important. The better you utilise these low cost places the less money you will spend on trying to achieve that 'whole new look' every morning.

Sales: Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and all the sales we know and love:Everyone loves a good sale so I'm not about to tell you not to indulge. I mean what's not to love?Its the perfect opportunity for a little retail therapy without the accompanying debt. However, if you don't keep the following things in mind you may end up with a more chaotic wardrobe situation than you bargained for.

Always ask yourself how much of the trend factor does the item have- truth is, if its on sale the trend really is on it's way out anyway. However, if it is currently a trend, is on sale, but suits you and flows with your personal style buy it anyway because its a deal.

Remember the cost-per-wear (or use): If it's on sale because its already defunct, really low quality or won't last as long as you'd like please pass it over. Because, even if it cost $1 and you only wore it once, instead of buying the $7 sister, you would have worn at least 14 times, it still wasn't worth the $1 you paid for it.(Do the math)

Don't leave the list at home: It'll stop you from buying things you just don't need, in the heat of the moment.

This is perfect time to buy your classics and basics, investment pieces will have an even greater cost-per-wear than they have usually.

Don't rush to the cashier: Please try it on when possible, and if you can't try to visualise yourself wearing it. How do you look? Does it flow with the rest of your wardrobe? If not, its a no.

Thrift stores, vintage shops and other discount stores:

From Ebay, Amazon and Etsy to your local thrift store, discount stores are the not-so-secret gold mines of many a budget fashionista. Whenever I walk into (or end up on) one, I feel like a child let loose in a candy store, on a mission to discover the next precious treasure to add to my wardrobe. A few tips to improve your next shopping trip include:

When shopping online look for sellers with a good reputation and a good return policy.

Look for quality material first before anything else: if the material is still good it can be fitted to your size or used in a DIY project.

Be resilient: It took me a couple of days of rummaging through several flea markets and vintage shops to find the brooch of my dreams.

Classics (not really basics though) and unusual accessories that reflect your style are things you should keep an eye out for when shopping in these stores.

Shopping your closet:For a lot of people the idea of 'shopping your closet' became real when the recession hit. 'Shopping your closet' is when you arrange your closet in such a way that it becomes very clear to know what you have and what is available to you, so that coming up with an outfit becomes a whole lot easier. Also, when your wardrobe mimics the clarity of your favorite store, it is easier to identify the gaps in it, which will enable you to know what to buy the next time you shop.

Hangs ties, scarves and belts so you can easily get to and see them.

Hang long necklaces and earrings on jewelry trees if you can.

You can pin smaller earrings on a board or something similar.

Keep rings in a little partitioned drawer if you can.

Hang as many clothes as you can.

Get rid of any and everything you haven't worn in at least a year.

Keep similar items together.

Store away things you will not use for awhile e.g. winter clothes in summer.

On the next part of this series I will talk about making the ultimate shopping list, budgetting and the financial nitty-gritty in budget shopping. If you liked this post and what to follow the series, follow this blog either by email or using one of the RSS feed links in the sidebars.

Love you all and Stay inspired,

P.S. So let me know what you think. Do you shop your closet? What are your favorite budget shopping venues? What's the best thing you've ever got on sale? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.

I know it's been awhile since I've posted an L&R post but that's because I have just not been moved to do so. After all, this is a personal blog and it reflects me and my experiences no matter how indirectly they are linked sometimes. Basically, I'm single again and working on getting myself back on track while trying to maintain and improve the relationships I've developed with my lovely friends in Boston. It's partially because of good experiences with these friends and because of the song of the week: Collide by Howie Day (see: Seeking Inspiration: Collide ), that I now feel ready to explore this topic.

Like I mentioned before, Collide is essentially about two people with different personalities, realising that it is their differences that make them so good for each other, and this led me to think about the concepts of destiny and fate. I mean they are such popular concepts used in all sorts of media to idealise love, both romantic and otherwise. From magazine articles to popular romantic comedies, people are shown as constantly looking for 'The One', i.e. the person that each person is supposed to spend their life. Sometimes they get so immersed in this search they forgot that their life is actually taking place while they search and is not on hold. They forget that even if there is a special person that they are destined to be with, and they do find this person (and I hope everyone does), you can't depend solely on this person to make you happy.

I believe that you have to take responsibility of your own happiness and this can partly be done by ensuring you also find true friends that will stick with you through the good times and the bad. I mean I am definitely yet to meet my 'One' but I'm pretty sure I've met quite a few people that represent these true friends for me. In fact, there have been times when, at first glance I meet someone, and we seem total opposites, but as I get to know the person I soon realise that we have more things in common than we don't. I like to call these people my 'kindred spirits' because if and when they become your really close friends, they tend to understand you in a way that few others can and knowing that such people exist can give you a sense of belonging and support that you will always need whether you are in a romantic relationship or not.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that, its really good to believe that you were destined to be someone special but I'm pretty sure you will love life more if you strive to grow in your friendships and work on your hobbies while growing in your romantic relationships.

Love you all and Stay inspired,

P.S. So let me know what you think. Do you believe in love at first sight? Destiny? Have you ever met a kindred spirit? How did you meet? Have you met the one? How did you know? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.(Photo from: Shanissinha)

Wow, what a week! After my finals on Thursday and Friday, shopping on Saturday I was totally snowed in and barely left my friend's dorm on Sunday. On Monday, I had to do some crazy last minute packing and finally began my journey back to Switzerland at 4pm. After many hours of delay and layover time, I got back home a couple of hours ago and I can honestly say I'm glad to be free of school work for the holidays. But I digress.

A couple of days ago, I stumbled upon a song by Howie Day called Collideand ever since then I've been obsessed with situations in which two wildly different people, art forms, skills and so on can collide to make something beautiful. You see, the song is about how, when two totally different people meet and fall in love there is originally some doubt in their minds about how their relationship could possibly work , but then they soon realise that somehow their differences work out to make them perfect for each other. It's like that moment that you realise your av Avante-Garde fashion choices, or unusual colour palettes in a painting, or your rock lyrics with a soft melody have actually found a way to work. It just goes to show that just because a particular decision is unusual or novel does it mean its doomed to fail. In fact, I think the willingness to take that chance and try out something-whether its collaborating on a song or visual art work with an artist in a different genre than you, or just deciding to wear your black rocker chic jacket with your super girly gypsy skirt- is a sign of a truly creative person. The best thing about taking this risk though is that, even if the combination doesn't come out well you will definitely emerge from the experience with more knowledge, wisdom, and maybe even inspiration for something else.

To get you started here are some links to works I think collided beautifully:

=simoendli on Deviant Art seriously has some of the most beautiful shots I have ever seen, the colours mix in such a surreal way making them seem like something from another land.

Holly Appling is a blog on poetry and all I needed was to see the poem I have linked and I knew I'd found a new source of constant inspiration!

Love you all and Stay inspired,

P.S. So let me know what you think. Do you believe that a collaboration or combination has to have some clear link thatr brings them together for it to work? Have you ever taken a chance by working outside the fabled 'box'? How did it turn out? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.(Photos from flickr.com)

So every year, I get totally caught up (always a little late) in the loveable chaos that is the Christmas season and in the midst of preparing and enjoying Christmas and the days after I soon forget that the next holiday signifies the start of a new year in my life. I mean I know its New Year's Day but somehow I forget its significance and therefore forget to prepare myself appropriately by making my New Year's resolution ahead of time. What usually happens then is that on New Year's Day, just after midnight I realise this and think up something to do quickly, something that is usually completely forgotten by mid-February. But now I say ``Never again!" . As of this minute, I am proud to say I have made my New Year's resolution (or resolutions) and even begun to plan and prepare for it. And I encourage you to do the same. I honestly believe that if you put a lot of thought and preparation into your New Year's resolution that it you will be able to actually stick to it (or at least come close to doing so.)

Here are my resolutions:

Make a demo of 10 of my songs complete with accompanying music and song sheets.

Make at least 2 music videos for my songs and 3 for other songs that I love.

Be able to carry out a 5 minute conversation in French

Blog at least twice a week every week without fail

Gather all my poems written to date and work towards an anthology

Finish one of my novels in pre-edited format

Choreograph 2 dances.

Significantly improve my fashion design skills

Grow in hope and love of life

Become more organised

Perform in front of strangers

And here are the preparations I've undergone:

I've signed up for voice and piano classes for next semester, to fine tune my abilities.

I just got my first video camera today! Expect me on youtube soon people lol. I have a tripod I just got and also plan on getting a Mac soon for the editing program.

Got my french books, signing up for conversational classes; don't worry I am Not new to this language.

I'm practicing by blogging during my finals week! 'nuff said.

Have the story web all planned already, and introduction has been done too.

I have been engaging in random and spontaneous dancing almost everyday this past week.

I have got some drawing and sketchbooks, and I have costuming classes next semester.

I am Christian and am doing this by becoming stronger in my faith.

I'm learning to use Excel to make a schedule that I will put on Evernote and take everywhere with me.

My roommate and I have already made plans to check out this bar/café that the Berklee students play at.

How am I going to do all this? By intense planning, scheduling and use of deadlines, but most of all determination. If you are really determined you can get anywhere in life. And this is the core of this lesson.

Now that I can finally get round to following up on the previous post in this series How to Budget: The Rules, I hope that I can completely cover all the bases on the mastery of budget shopping. As I said in the previous post in the series, when budget shopping you should be willing to spend the most money on the 'investment pieces' of your wardrobe. In case you were wondering, an investment piece is any piece that forms the basic foundation of your wardrobe and that you can mix-n-match with several other pieces in your wardrobe in order to make an outfit. While these pieces should still have a bit of your personal style in them and should fit you, this should be generally be toned down as much as possible so that it does not compromise their versatility. I believe that there are two major categories of investment pieces: basics and classics.

BasicsThese are articles that every woman cannot and should not go without regardless of age, lifestyle, and personal style. They form the basic support of your outfits, and the skeleton of your wardrobe. Although, people's ideas of what constitute the basics varies, there are a few things that are constant from list to list they are:

a winter hat, scarf and gloves, and coat (climate sensitive)

a good strong umbrella and rainboots (partially climate sensitive)

comfy, but cute flats and flip flops

gorgeous yet workable heels in a neutral colour

blazer/hoodie/ cute light jacket and sweater in a neutral colour

bras of 3 types: push-up, sports and t-shirt

seamless underwear

simple tanks in neutral colours

simple t-shirts in neutral colours (short and long sleeve)

jeans preferably in a dark wash and a pair of normal pants

sneakers, socks and neutral toned pants

a simple but durable bag and wallet

Classics:These are clothes that have survived the test of time and therefore have incredibly low cost-per-wear because you will be able to use them for as long as they survive. They are seen as important pieces to achieve the simple but polished look and usually have infinite possibilities in terms of when and where you can wear them. They also do not have to be bought in a haste and can be acquired as you become more financially stable. They include:

So this week I've been very into the use of history and even things of the recent past to inspire the present. Over the past few weeks, my roommate and I have been declaring certain songs as our songs of the week and we would play each song over and over, find all its various music videos, remixes and versions, and generally dissect it and analyse it completely. And since music is so important to me, I feel like this is something I should share with you too. So after reading this post please check out the song of the week Hear You Me performed by Jimmy Eat World. It's basically about two friends of theirs, when they were just starting out, that would always go to different towns they were performing in, where they knew no one, and give them somewhere to stay. They were a major support system for them and Weezer in the beginning who were unfortunately killed in a car crash on their way back from a concert. These two women, Mykel and Carli Allen, always said the words 'hear you me' . I believe this song is a great example of how we can draw inspiration from our past experiences, good and bad. Here are some other pieces of inspiration that I feel draw on the past:

This picture feels like a window into a forgotten time. It has true Victorian beauty.

In case you're looking for a fashion history lesson College Fashion has an article I love.

It doesn't have to be Halloween for you to dress like the 50s or any of the eras according to Charade.

Buildings and places all tell stories too. If you can't go where you want to go pictures and information can usually take you there.

Love you all and Stay inspired,

P.S. So let me know what you think. What are places that inspire you ? Where would you go if you had the chance to just for the experience? Do you have pictures and if you do feel free to send them in. Also, feel free to let me know in the comments below.

For a lot of people winter weather is not a friend to your body. What with all the sharp, dry and icy winds, freezing spontaneous showers and rock-bottom temperatures it is no wonder that people tend to be a lot more susceptible to less-than-stellar appearances. And with the holidays coming up and finals drawing ever closer, we are a lot less willing to care about our looks or make the effort. So here are a few tips to help you weather the harsh winter weather:

Hydrate yourself: I don't know about you but facing the blustery winter winds always leaves me feeling super dehydrated. This is why it is more important than usual, to drink your minimum of eight cups a day. It will really show on the inside and out.

Moisturize your hair and body: If you can, using a thicker, more petroleum-based moisturiser (like Vaseline) not only keeps your skin looking healthy but also protects you from the cold.

Use jelly-based lip balm: The lighter, oilier ones just don't cut it in the winter. They evaporate too quickly and soon leave your lips looking cracked and wind worn.

Use cream-based or mineral make-up: Since your face is the part of your body that is constantly exposed to all the various elements, the skin there is weaker and more susceptible to damage. Since it suffers more abuse in the winter it is best to use less chemicals on it during these months.

Use waterproof mascara: If you, like me, tend to have teary eyes when its really cold and windy, but still want to glam up your eyes, using waterproof mascara is probably the way to go. The racoon look is not good on anyone. Trust me.

Love you all and Stay inspired,

P.S. So let me know what you think. What are your winter beauty secrets? Does your routine change with the season? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.

I just came off of this Seventeen magazine forum where a 17-year old girl was asking people what they thought about her recent engagement to be married. She wanted to know if they thought that she was too young and if they were married or engaged. She got a LOT of replies. Most of which said that she wasn't too young as long as she is in love, and that 17 is fine to get married. Going through the responses, I found at that quite a few of these responses came from girls aged 14-18 that were either engaged, married or considering it.

This has got to be the single most shocking thing I've seen this week, and that includes the whole Tiger Woods/possible mistress situation.

I mean have I really been away from the United States for so long? Because, when I left 8 years ago I really don't think I had any friends that had older siblings in high school that were engaged or married. Then again, maybe I was just oblivious to this now entirely too interesting trend. I In my junior high and high school equivalent, marriage was definitely not an issue, for me or any of my school mates at least while in the secondary school (grades 7-12), and usually for a couple of years after that as well. Even now, I personally can not imagine, at the age of 18, getting ready for my own wedding. And even in the year I spent at my old university, I really didn't know anyone with serious wedding plans, and most of the people I knew were at least in their 20s.

I don't see what the rush is about? I can't speak for anyone but myself but even though I was very happily in a relationship for almost a year, the thought of getting married then was not even in my mind. And no, it was not because I am entirely unromantic and just want to be alone forever. My reasons were and still are:

1. I don't want to do anything as important and wonderful as marriage halfway. When I do get married I want to be in it for the long haul and be willing and able to devote myself to making it work.

2. I am still learning new things about myself and trying to understand myself right now. If I don't know and understand myself, how can I help someone to understand me?

3. I have a lot of goals and ambitions that require a lot of commitment and like I said in #1, I don't like to do things halfway. Right now, I have things I want to experience, places I want to go, and goals I want to achieve and now is the time to be able to put my all into them without distraction so that later I will have no regrets. When I am ready for a family and marriage, my husband and family will get my undivided attention and will always come first for me.

I just feel that if you love someone, as in really love someone there is no need to rush into marriage, especially if you are not really sure about who you are yet and what you want out of life. True love never dies and if you are sure the person you want to marry is the one for you, the person will still be the one for you in a couple of years when you are both more independent, stronger and more self aware.

Once again, I can only speak for myself. I really want to know more about the other point of view and people's reasons for getting married in their teens and early 20s (21, 22).

Love you all and Stay inspired,

P.S. So let me know what you think? Would you get married in your teens? Are you married or engaged? How do you do everyday life as a young married couple (especially if you're 15 or 16). And what ever happened to promise rings? Feel free to let me know in the comments below.

Dearest Devotees, Pain, disappointment, hurt. These are things that no one can avoid in this life, no matter how charmed their exis...

Welcome!

"Come with me,and See this World,Through the eyesof an Ordinary Girl"

An Ordinary Girl's World is a blog for stylish and artistic teens, college students and young adults, creatively finding their way in this world. Its about expressing yourself through your personal style, your lifestyle, your relationships and friendships.This site will feature articles on fashion, love and life in general, with topics ranging from the latest trends in fashion, beauty and lifestyle, personal style, artistic inspiration pieces and real life survival guides.Email address: aury4eva@gmail.com

About Me

Frannie

Hello! I am Frannie a.k.a Frances Anne and I am a 21 year old Catholic Missionary. I am Nigerian but have lived all over the world and I currently live and serve in the U.S. I love God, others and life in general. I bubble over with joy everyday and would love to share my joy with you.