Anna Howard Shaw Day

Valentine’s Day has to be the single worst day of the year. It’s the only holiday where you may end up eating alone when you’re supposed to be eating with someone. Every other holiday has this – even MLK day is good for a round of beers with some friends.

Additionally, there’s no guarantee that you’ll be spending the day with someone aside from your co-workers (who receive flowers) or your friends (who post pictures on Facebook of flowers) or the cashier at Market Basket (who looks at you when you purchase yourself flowers).

“Is there a MRS Kool-Aid man?”

Here’s a list of red non-Valentine’s Day related things to enjoy: Clifford the Big Red Dog, Starbucks Holiday cups (circa 2015), Redd Foxx, stop signs, the Staples ‘Panic’ button, Simply Red, sunburns, Red Robin and red wine. Lots and lots of red wine. I purposely omitted Red Hot Chili Peppers because they’re never enjoyable, but if you want to torture yourself more on this horrible day, be my guest! I’d thought about adding the Kool-Aid Man, but he might just be too sexual.

Those that have a significant other on this day say, “It’s no big deal. It’s just a stupid holiday that doesn’t mean anything.”

It does mean something, though, and maybe that attitude arises from the fact that they have someone that loves them every single day when, for some of us, it’s just a reminder that we don’t have that any day.

(Isn’t this a fun post so far?)

For some the day serves as a reminder of what you thought you had once. Maybe it reminds you that an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend you loved never really loved you at all. That they weren’t there for you: emotionally, physically, for more than a pre-determined amount of time, no matter what changes came up along the way, or for the reasons you thought. I don’t know anything about these situations, though, they’re perfectly hypothetical. At no point did an ex ever say something hurtful to me.

Maybe you’ve spent the last few months thinking that you’re not good enough, attractive enough or smart enough for anyone. I mean, maybe your partner basically told you you weren’t worth being treated as well as you’d always imagined being treated, on your birthday, during a family crisis.

And now it’s fucking Valentine’s Day. As if those “She’s your best friend and eats your farts and don’t you love her for consoling you on a porch?” Kay commercials for some fugly diamond heart-shaped Jean Seymour barf show weren’t bad enough, you have a whole day dedicated to this box-of-chocolates (diamonds) shit storm. A whole day to think about how you’ll continue doing things by yourself the majority of the time. A whole day of Lifetime meet-cute romantic movies where you start to think that maybe a gentleman will show up at your door spontaneously with some food because you’ve had a rough day.

Hang on, pizza’s here.

You know nothing about my heart, JS.

Okay, back.

A whole day to think about how you have never once been on the receiving end of a romantic gesture or had someone do something to make you happy … even when you were in a relationship. Replenishing K-Cups does not count as a “gift” if you drank them. (I mean, I *imagine* this is the kind of thing that *could* happen to someone but did *not* happen to *me*. I also absolutely was not given three types of cat hair removal devices on my birthday.)

So, here’s the deal. Treat yourself well every single day, because there are no guarantees that anyone is going to do that for you. Buy yourself flowers (but not the Jane Seymour necklace. Your heart, open or not, is fine.). Don’t deprive yourself of doing what you want to do because you don’t have anyone to share it with. It doesn’t matter: You’ll come back with cool stories to tell your friends. Spend time volunteering or advocating for a cause you believe in.

Cut yourself some slack. And, if someone ever treats you like less than what you deserve, distance yourself. You’ll be better off without that in your life.