Posted
by
CmdrTaco
on Sunday February 14, 1999 @05:44PM
from the you-gotta-be-kidding dept.

benjyFeen writes "You can all relax now. We'll still have sandwiches come the millenium. This ensures it. "
I'm so amazingly sick of Y2k. Now I know the truth-
It's a marketing scam. I thought it was a media scam all
this time. Who knew.

Just because you know your cutting board is Y2K compliant, doesn't mean you won't have problems! When your neighbor's cutting board won't work, and your neighbor's neighbor's cutting board won't work, the resulting panic will be trouble for everyone! There'll be a wood shortage, to begin with! Who knows what else could happen from that! And since you can't prove a negative, you can't really say this won't happen! So start stockpiling tuna fish cans and make sure your powder's dry!

And don't walk by any cash machines on January 1! Those little lasers on the inside of the monitor will be flying everywhere! You could get blinded for life!

You know, after having worked on the phones at an ISP for about a week and talking to the Window-using freaky-deakies out there, my confidence in human intelligence has been eroded to the point where I'm fairly certain that there will be a significant market for this product.

My last cutting board/knife product was not Y2k complient, and during a year 2000 testing run it got confused over the date, since it was only using the last two digits of the year, and crashed, which caused me to accidentally sever my penis.

all this crap about y2k made me think of something. we haven't always used the gregorian system of time (calander), does that mean that if we used another type of calander we wouldn't have this problem?;)

straight from encylcopedia.com... system of reckoning time usually based on a recurrent natural cycle, such as the cycle of the sun through the seasons (see YEAR) or the moon through its phases (see MONTH). Because the solar year is 365 days 5 hr 48 min 46 sec and the lunar year (12 synodic months of 29.53 days) is 354 days 8 hr 48 min, people have been confronted from ancient times with the problem of the discrepancy. Because the year is not exactly divisible by months and days, the practice arose of making arbitrary divisions and inserting extra (intercalary) days or months. The Gregorian calendar, generally accepted today, evolved from the Roman calendar reformed (46 B.C.) by Julius CAESAR. In the Julian calendar April, June, September, and November had 30 days, February 28 days (29 days every fourth, or leap, year), and all other months 31 days. The date was computed by counting backward from the Kalends (the 1st day), the Nones (the 7th day in March, May, July, and October; the 5th day in other months), and the Ides (the 15th day in March, May, July, and October; the 13th day in other months); hence Jan. 10 was the 4th day of the Ides of January. Because the Julian year of 365 days 6 hr was too long, by the 16th cent. the vernal equinox was displaced from March 21 to March 11. Pope GREGORY XIII ordained that 10 days be dropped in 1582 and that years ending in hundreds be leap years only if divisible by 400. The non-Roman Catholic countries were slow to accept the Gregorian (New Style) calendar; it was adopted in England in 1752 and by the Eastern Church in the 20 cent. The Christian ecclesiastical calendar was based on the belief that JESUS' resurrection was on a Sunday, hence Easter should fall on Sunday. The First Council of NICAEA (325) decreed that Easter be the Sunday following the first full moon after the vernal EQUINOX; today the date varies from the astronomical reckoning because certain factors of the lunar period are not considered. Other calendars include the Jewishcalendar (12 months, plus intercalary months 7 times in 19 years) and the Muslim lunar calendar. See also FRENCH REVOLUTIONARY CALENDAR.

Half a billion people will withdraw their entire life savings, and the Banks will collapse. Jerry Falwell will declare that not only are the Teletubbies gay, but so is the cast of "Frasier", the US Congress, and NASA Administrator Dan Goldin. Exactly five nuclear missiles will launch and land in the south china sea, and Paramount will declare "Star Trek: Voyager" to be the offical TV show of the second coming. Bill Clinton will privately inform slashdot.org of a nefarious plot to destroy the world through a revolt by cellular phones. Pierce Brosnan will become a cross-dresser, and Wallmart stores will become havens for the survivalists.

You know, soon we'll have to register ourselves as Y2K compliant. I mean, are we sure our bodies won't just suddenly stop working come Jan 1, 2000. We'll have to have "Y2K Compliant" tattooed onto our butts.

What this'll likely cause is mass panic, and rapid market fluxuations... from all the people buying stuff they don't need to (8 months of refried beans).... and then selling it back once they don't need it.

To my knowledge, 32-bit Unix rolls over in 2038. January 19, 2038, to be exact ('Twas reading the postgreSQL time/date format page when I read this).

Actually though, I would suspect that we won't be in such big trouble in 2038, because it shouldn't be THAT hard to move to 64-bit systems and use an 8-byte date, especially given the fact that we will have over 30 years warning.

On top of that, it's a lot easier to attach impending doom to a number like 2000 than 2038:).

The knife is not included. So what if my knife is NOT y2k compliant? How can they guarantee that it will work after 23:59:59.99 December 31st since it explicitly requires a knife to do the task it is designed for?

They should provide a list of aprooved Y2K compliant knifes and bread manufacturers.

Come to think of it, we need a certifying agency to ensure that those products are INDEED Y2K compliant.

I hope my swiss army knife is Y2K compliant. I'd hate life without it.

Leap years are those that are divisible by 4 -and- not divisible by 100 or divisible by 400.

Many, many programers failed to put the checks for 100/400 divisibility. Even I am guilty of this sin.

This means that 1900 would be (incorrectly) considered a leap year, and so would 2100 and other non 400 divisible centuries. Fortunately 2000 is one of the 'exceptions' so bad code won't cause much grief.

Is it just me, or do most the people that are preaching the y2k doom seem to be selling books that talk about it? Can you really believe people who are preaching it when the success of their latest book depends on them wearing "sack-clothe and ashes" and preaching doom.

You all laugh. Well, I've just read a recently published report in the highly regarded scientific journal entitled The Weekly World News which exposes the true threat that the Y2k problem poses to humanity.

Although the article states that the real reasons are "too complex for the average layman to understand", top scientific minds have stated that upon the stroke of midnight, Dec. 31, 1999, the very core of our civilization will collapse. Thousands of aircraft will fall out of the sky, nuclear missiles will arm and fire themselves indiscriminately, and, most frightening of all, OUR HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES WILL TURN AGAINST US!!!! That's right friends. Due to the "embedded micro-processor units" in nearly all consumer products, highly placed officials say, these very devices that we depend on for day to day life will assume a consciousness of their own and begin to attack us. Everything from our vaccum cleaners to our toasters will rise up and seek retribution for their years of indentured servitude. Western Civilization itself will grind to a halt, signalling the beginning of a new, thousand-year Dark Ages.

It's all in print, people. I don't know about you, but before I go to bed on New Years, I'm putting the blender under the sink and taking the hypoallergenic filter bag out of my Hoover.

Not to be the one to point out the obvious, but it's a "y2k" bug, or "year two thousand" bug. (almost) Noone calls it the millenium bug anymore. Yes, the new MILLENIUM begins on Jan 1, 2001, but the 1999-2000 rollover bug happens on Jan 1, 2000. That is what is funny here, nowhere is it mentioning the millenium.

While I hate people who say new millenium when they mean 2000, I hate people who try to go the other way and try to convince people that 2000 means nothing either. Why do all these people want people to stay home and be bored on Dec 31, '99? Why not let them party?! Heck, how often do you take note of when your odometer (in your car) hits 100,001? No, you notice 100,000!

In short, correct people who incorrectly state 2000 to be the new millenium, but don't snap at them for just wanting to celebrate NY2k. (New Year 2000) Shit, I plan on partying like hell both years!

Seems like the anonymous coward understands the year 2000 issue with bread slicers as well as he/she does with code, or maybe he/she just can't/doesn't read. For the programmers who do read, they understand that incorrect documentation does cause problems.

I honesly don't see how that's relevant at all. Computers aren't going to have Y2K++ bugs just because some people think that's when the millenium starts. If it makes you feel better, you should refer to y2k as the millenium-- bug, or something.

This was the best one yet on y2k. A month or so the Los Angeles UPN station did a report on y2k where they basically said all nuclear missles will start firing off randomly at random targets come Jan 1, 2000. *sigh* We are going to have more problems from the clueless masses lead by the clueless media freaking out over y2k than actually y2k problems.