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the boy :: isaac

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Welp, that's that.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

There was no discussion yesterday, apparently there weren't options. It was "here is where we stand now, I hope you like it, because it's all you get." And that all we get is 40%. Forty percent of every job will now be our income, our means. In our family it is without question that Tony is our breadwinner. The position I am in now was a crack decision that ultimately benefited us, especially in providing benefits, but financially . . . not so much.

A quick run of the numbers means that Tony will have to sell 4 average sized floors per week in order to maintain our frugral franny level of living. He's averaging 2. Tell me how that adds up? It doesn't and that's where the faith comes in. Because we don't have any other options. We aren't allowed the position of relying on our own knowledge, our own contacts, our own abilities to wisk ourselves out of this position, because there are none. There is simply complete submission to God's will.

As friend's do in times of crisis, Gina emailed me a devotional that she thought would be of encouragement. And by encouraging, I really mean "stuck in my head, completely challenging my every thought."

It's pretty short, so I'll just c&p.

We tend to think that if Jesus Christ compels us to do something and we are obedient to Him, He will lead us to great success. We should never have the thought that our dreams of success are God’s purpose for us. In fact, His purpose may be exactly the opposite. We have the idea that God is leading us toward a particular end or a desired goal, but He is not. The question of whether or not we arrive at a particular goal is of little importance, and reaching it becomes merely an episode along the way. What we see as only the process of reaching a particular end, God sees as the goal itself.

What is my vision of God’s purpose for me? Whatever it may be, His purpose is for me to depend on Him and on His power now. If I can stay calm, faithful, and unconfused while in the middle of the turmoil of life, the goal of the purpose of God is being accomplished in me. God is not working toward a particular finish— His purpose is the process itself. What He desires for me is that I see "Him walking on the sea" with no shore, no success, nor goal in sight, but simply having the absolute certainty that everything is all right because I see "Him walking on the sea" ( Mark 6:49 ). It is the process, not the outcome, that is glorifying to God.

God’s training is for now, not later. His purpose is for this very minute, not for sometime in the future. We have nothing to do with what will follow our obedience, and we are wrong to concern ourselves with it. What people call preparation, God sees as the goal itself.

God’s purpose is to enable me to see that He can walk on the storms of my life right now. If we have a further goal in mind, we are not paying enough attention to the present time. However, if we realize that moment-by-moment obedience is the goal, then each moment as it comes is precious.

Does this not challenge you to no end? It is so easy to warp Bible verses and truths until the final output is that God just wants us to be happy and that if we are faithful He will be faithful to provide that happiness. How do we miss the mark that badly?! God doesn't need us to be happy. He wants us to be fully reliant and obedient. That is the purpose and intent of our lives. My faith isn't being tested so that once we emerge on the other side of this fire God will lean down and give me a prize, my faith is being tested because that's the point! He wants me to show him my obedience. This train of thinking is further explored in an interview with Rick Warren.

In which I find this passage the most challenging:

The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that’s not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character–in Christ likeness.

So now the prayers will begin that Tony will consistently sell jobs and if he doesn't, we'll continue to be obedient. That is our option.

I will definitely be thinking of the three of you and hoping that something works out for you soon... what has worked for me so far is to try (and sometimes that's pretty tough) to stay as positive as I can.

What a great devotional - it is absolutely challenging! I know I am definitely guilty of the same train of thought that you mentioned.

I'll pray that everything works out, though I guess there's no way of telling what that exactly means... You and Tony are two very strong people and you WILL get through this. Even if God doesn't give you the circumstance that you initially wanted, he will never forsake you!

What a great devotional. I am saving it to my computer so I can read it in those times when I really need to hear that message. TFS.

Lots of prayers and positive thoughts are headed your way. After reading your blog for a year or so, I have no doubts and you and Tony will get through this. Your faith in God and in each other is truly inspiring.

I'm so sorry I haven't commented before now, I've been out of town and any type of service (cell phones, internet, etc.) has been super spotty.

The devotional and your additoinal points are definitely a challange to all christians. I do believe though that ultimately God loves nothing more than coming through for us. While we may be on this earth for the sole purpose of serving him, he does care greatly about everything in our lives and he loves being our knight in shining armour. He has come through and rescued me time and time again and I have absolute faith that he will bless you beyond your wildest dreams and that you will look back on this and see his hand in it. My family experienced the financial pendelum and crisis throughout my entire childhood and still experience it today but I don't think I can recall a time ever where we went without a need.

I will be continually praying for you and your family. If you ever need to vent or need anything at all, you know how to get ahold of me!

I stumbled across your blog through a friends page, and your devotional was exactly what I needed. God is amazing. He will provide and I understand your frustrations with the waiting game that we sometimes encounter. As I read through your blogs, I see a lot of myself/personality in you. I feel I can relate to your struggles, your joys, happiness, your feelings. My husband and I are in a similar financial situation. Although it has nothing to do with a job, but a place to live. We have been living in Northern Minnesota in property that belongs to my husbands Aunt and Uncle. They have "abruptly decided" (I put in quotes because that is how they explained it to us in a message on facebook nonetheless)..to move back up here from Georgia..as soon as a few weeks from now.

Of course we are thrown into this whirlwind of having a baby due in 27 days, just finishing the nursery and organizing everything, to in one day finding out that we have everything packed and be out because they may just pull up in their U-haul someday! It's very frustrating when I, as a dental hygienist am the breadwinner in our family, and I am now in a situation where I am happy to be home with my baby soon, but will we be able to afford my time off PLUS a RENT payment now!?! Everything we have saved over the last 6 months has been for what our current bills and expenses, we did not figure another chunk going to a rent payment.

It's hard to sit back and hear everyone say that everything will work out, I know the feeling of just crying for hours wondering how things will work out. Although our are situations are not exactly the same, your devotional helped tremendously. I will be praying for your family, that God will provide your husband with the number of jobs it takes to make ends meet or that he will just show his Grace through other means. I also ask for your prayers for our family in this time, that we may find a place to live that we can afford and feel safe in. -Kristen

How true. It's amazing how our outlook changes when we realize that it's not all about us. I'm so proud of the way you're handling this, sweet girl. Count those blessings! As always, prayers are going up for you!

Wow, that's powerful. It's amazing how we are in completely different situations, but God's word can speak to us both in such an amazing way. I really needed to hear that as well.

I'm praying for you. A friend told me through all of this that God doesn't promise to keep you from the fires, he just promises to walk you through them. So, know that He's with you and enduring this pain too.

I know it's hard to dig down and find faith when we rely so much on worldly things to get by each day (money, food, etc). I pray that God continues to meet each and everyone of your NEEDS and that this 'fire' is a short one.

This is great. I needed to hear this too, so thanks for posting it. Remember that while God tests us, he doesn't give us anything that we cannot handle. He knows that you guys will be able to handle this situation- you may not be as fruitful in your income and earnings as you would like, but he's going to provide you with EXACTLY what you need.

I don't think I've ever commented, but I have been following your blog (secretly!) for a little while now. Your faithfulness and obedience to the Lord is such an encouragment to me! I know that He will take care of you! You guys will be in my thoughts and prayers!

Your strength is a wonderful example. Mr. McB and I had to rely on God's plan for us for a little while. It made us much stronger in our relationship with each other and with God. I am praying for you!!!

Those words in the part you found the most challenging are very familiar, as my mom and I had a very similar conversation recently. I pray that God will work out His plan to you, because His timing is perfect!

Your faith is amazing. Know that's it okay to break down and cry. You seem to have a positive attitude and even though you can't change that some people(ummmm Tony's boss) are jerks you guys will make it through this. Thinking about you!