Everyone has been telling me for the last little while that the Christmas season is going to be especially tough for us, that we should prepare for it, gather fuel for it.

I really didn't pay much attention, because it's hard to imagine things getting any tougher than they are. I was pretty sure that I could take the grief in hand, control it so that it came at me in manageable levels through the holidays. I was wrong, of course. The closer we get to the Eve and the Day, the quieter we become, the more leaden the atmosphere.

And yet... and yet... maybe it's true what they say about the magic of the season. I miss my brother terribly, and my heart is heavy. But right now, I just don't want to succumb to the gloom. I don't want to fall under the weight of a broken Christmas. Thereís joy and cheer and good will flying about all over the place, you know? I want to be able to catch just a little of it.

Enjoy the season, my beauties. Feel every minute of the happy times. Hold your cherished ones close and then, for Godís sake, tell them you love them.