Thursday, 15 October 2009

The gorilla is going

For some reason Thursday has become THE day on which I spend an hour or more getting rid of unwanted body hair. Months ago it was rather a big job, though one I looked forward to, because I was banishing all that horrible growth. I've hated body hair with a venom ever since early puberty - so that's 45 years of utter pathalogical loathing - and shaving it off or plucking it away is my revenge. And I'm winning. Every week nowadays I notice less and less to do. There's hardly anything on my arms and legs since last week, they've been tamed, and the only areas that still show some spirit are my ears, armpits and pubes. Sorry to mention the last, but I shave that region to provide suitable places for my Estradot patches, apart from the more general 'hate' reason. It's not some kinky fetish. (Honest!)

On the face, the laser treatment with Roz has worked wonders. There are plenty of light-coloured airs still to get rid of by electrolysis, but they seem to be cowed, and emerge from the skin in only a tentative fashion: a blonde stubble, yes, but one that knows it's beaten and hasn't much heart left. The stouter and more kamikazi dark hairs that cause those oh-no! evening shadow effects are now confined to my mouth area, notably the upper lip of course. Oddly, the upper lip shadow seems more prominent than ever before. I suppose it's because there are no other large patches of concentrated dark hair left on my face, and the upper lip growth, which used to blend into the overall male swarthiness, is now left isolated and stands out like a slug on a wedding dress.

And of course the eyebrows need constant plucking. But I don't mind some growth there - for now. While I'm experimenting with brow shaping, a bit of growth is a handy thing. There's a tendency to over-pluck, and then suddenly (because it might take only a hair or two) I've got no brows at all. It's nice to think that over-plucking errors will self-correct in just a day or two.

So the gorilla look is fading. The only fly in the ointment is my out-of-reach back. It has never been very hirsute, but what hair there is is dreadful to contemplate, especially because it's inaccessible. It can only be bazooka'd by waxing. Once or twice I've had that done. I'm hoping that soon it'll succomb to the hormones like arms and legs have.

Actually, despite having the lowest pain threshold on the planet, if not the entire universe, I can stand the discomfort of plucking hairs from anywhere except my nose - and I believe you're not supposed to pluck nose hairs, only clip them.

Had a nice cup of tea instead - there's an east wind and it has got cold very rapidly this afternoon! Too cold for long cool drinks.

Thank you both! I suppose it's a comfort to know that so many natal women, young and old, have a 'hair problem' and that if you can reduce your own to manageable levels it will seem perfectly normal. In fact Roz (who does my hair removal) maintains that the ideal is not to remove everything but to get your body hair to an unobtrusive, very short and fine state, which would be unbeatably natural. I see what she means, although I hate my body hair so much I don't mind going far beyond that ideal, even if my skin is plastic-looking!

@Angie:I enjoyed both of your blogs too. Cornwall was the scene of all our family holidays when I was young, and despite rainy days and memories of teenage anguish I still have a place in my heart for Treyarnon Bay, Constantine Bay, Trevose Head and Padstow, and always will. You're much too occasional, though! Do blog more. I bet you pass beautifully; you could easily be your wife's (or your auntie's) sister. You all appear to be related at a casual glance!

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This is really my autobiography, written as I go along. I'm getting older, more aware of how time is passing, and so much still to do and experience. I want to share what happens to me here, on my blog. I hope you find at least some of it interesting and enlightening.