In our world, in their world: 5 things DJs should stop doing

Things will never be perfect- despite what anyone tells you- and in the electronic music and club landscape there are plenty of problems afoot. Taking this into account, the Plain & Simple team will be tackling a few of the issues that trouble us all, starting by denouncing the behaviour and attitude of the few DJs ruining it for the rest.

Before we begin, though, let’s get a few things clear. We love DJs; whether they hammer 135BPM techno into our skulls at 7AM, drop soulful slo-mo grooves on a sun-kissed terrace, or approach things with a cut and paste beats and breaks ethic. These faces are, after all, trendsetters, tastemakers and talent at the forefront of a scene we’ve long-since committed ourselves to. Nevertheless, success- and the dream of achieving success- can also breed ignorance, egocentricity and idiocy. So, without further ado then, in the paraphrased words of the 21st Century’s greatest pop-philosopher, Peter Griffin, here’s what really grinds our gears…

5 things we think DJs should stop doing

Deciding the best way to approach those obligatory promo photographs is by getting portrait shots taken of themselves looking pensive, as though someone just offered them the choice between a red or blue pill. It’s almost as laughable as these…

Having spats on social media, because it’s genuinely embarrassing. There are innumerable examples, especially since the ‘what is a real DJ?’ debate exploded, but the recent-ish rhetoric between Deadmau5 and someone impersonating Ricardo Villalobos is one of our favourites. The point being a dispute only makes you look stupid when it’s with a false Twitter account.

Getting too hammered to play properly. It happens more often than it should, whether down to lines of ketamine in the DJ booth or the ridiculous number of Jagermeister shots nailed at the bar before getting on, and the result often makes a set dull and uninspiring, if not downright depressing, making for the greatest campaign idea responsible drinking and anti-drug charities have yet to seize upon.

Cancelling dates without real rhyme nor reason. Just because Skegness isn’t Berghain doesn’t mean the attendees don’t deserve to party properly, and no-shows waste everyone’s time and money. As one of the heads from Leeds promotion crew Nest explained when announcing his plans to raise money through Kickstarter to sue Terrence Parker over a missed appearance, the likes of which have been satirised on the blog Terrence Parker Doing Stuff That Isn’t DJing, dedicated to the U.S. house don’s notorious absenteeism, which we found very funny.

Demanding ridiculous riders. As featured here on Noisey, Steve Aoki ensured he plummeted even further in our estimation after his two-page list of requests was leaked a couple of years back. Asking for “six large, black, v-neck t-shirts (American Apparel and H&M acceptable)”, “six pairs of men’s underwear (briefs style)”, and “six pairs of men’s socks (crew style)” is bad enough and the double-Cristal order is pushing it, but the worst thing is this guy’s not alone with these inflated expectations.