Wife: I'm going to tell you anyways. A grizzly bear was chasing me through the woods with his teeth. He was going to eat me and you did nothing. You just sat there and didn't do a thing!

Time: What was I doing?

Wife: You were playing poker with a rabbit, that's what you were doing. And that's the thing! You would do something like that! You would play poker with a rabbit while I was being eaten by a bear. Luckily a giant unicorn came and saved me. That's how I got saved. Not by you!