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Posted Tuesday, August 28, 2012

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I've done something very stupid. I was curious at the thought of having sexual acts with a male so I met up with a random guy three days ago and we started masturbating each other. During this time, he was pulling my foreskin down my penis and it hurt a bit (leading me to believe he might have created tears in it). After that, we started unprotected anal sex with me as the insertive partner. However, I realised after about 1-2 minutes how stupid an idea this was and stopped (and, in the panic, ejaculated inside him). Unfortunately I panicked and ran off, not asking him anything about his STI/HIV status

I started PEP 14 hours later after rushing to the ER the morning afterwards (would've been about 11 had they not had to call the consultant several times). What I want to realistically know is what are the odds, realistically, I've contracted HIV?

I know this is stupid (I've never had unsafe sex before) and this experience has turned me off sex with men for life (I'd only had heterosexual sex beforehand).

Why do I get the feeling you don't always use condoms when you're having "heterosexual sex"? (Whatever that means - straight people have anal sex too, you know.) But here you are freaking out because you had anal sex with another guy. Did you freak out after unprotected vaginal sex? Because that's risk too. You can't assume that you're not at risk with a woman. Maybe I'm wrong thinking you've got that kind of mind-set, but I distinctly get that feeling from your post.

I hope they gave you a baseline hiv test that was negative before giving you PEP.

As the insertive partner, you're highly unlikely to end up hiv positive following this one-off brief incident, PEP or no PEP.

I hope they explained to you that PEP increases your window period from three months post incident to four months post incident. In other words, you can't have a conclusive negative until three months after you complete the one month of PEP.

A six week post-PEP will give you a very good indication of your hiv status. A negative test at six weeks rarely changes.

You need to learn from this and stop having unprotected intercourse with ANYONE, regardless of what sex they are or what they say about their hiv status. Many people do not accurately know their hiv status, they only thinkthey're hiv negative.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Thank you for your quick reply. It's reassuring to hear that the risk is "highly unlikely".

Just raising a couple points you mentioned, when I was referring to heterosexual sex I meant vaginal intercourse (I agree, sloppy wording on my part). Furthermore, with both partners, I used condoms (with no slippage). Believe me, the sexual activities I have participated in have all been safe beforehand.

They didn't give me a baseline test beforehand (nor kidney and liver function tests, which I was told was a requirement in the UK (where I'm resident) by a friend) by the ER. Thankfully, I have a follow-up appointment tomorrow at a specialist GUM clinic.

Your points are very fair and I do feel like an absolute idiot for doing what I did, especially as it is so out of character. The past few days have been pure hell (it's been going round and round in my head and I dare not tell anyone (parents/friends) for support as I don't want to be judged) and the side effects of the PEP (especially diarrhea/ loss of appetite) are proving enough punishment to remind me never to do this again.

Can I also ask you one more question, if you don't mind? I've noticed that you've moderated on these forums for a long time and was wondering: have you ever heard of someone contracting HIV after PEP?

I've been on these boards for... wow, I think I am reaching a decade here.

I have never seen anyone come through here and test positive after PEP.

But let me act as Greek chorus for Ann here: PLEASE use a condom, for vaginal OR anal sex with any conceivable gender. At least until you are in a committed, monogamous relationship.

Logged

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."