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I didn't wash my hands after giving a handjob: am I pregnant?

My boyfriend and I were making out last week, and it was our first time masturbating each other. He got me off first (he still had his boxers on) then after I came, I gave him a hand job. After he came, he put on his boxers, and we lay there kissing for a bit. His wet boxers against the area slightly above my pubic hair but still within my 'triangle'. Anyway, after maybe 5 mins of kissing, I dried my hands off with a towel (it was wet from him cumming), then put on my clothes and went to the toilet to pee, without washing my hands first. My question is, can I get pregnant, cos I hadn't washed my hands, and my hands touched the toilet paper that I used to wipe myself after peeing. My period was supposed to come yesterday, and it hasn't yet come. I've been anxious about this since last week! Please help! Is it possible that I may be pregnant?

Heather Corinna replies:

When we wipe after toileting, it's pretty unusual for us to even directly touch our vulva, let alone stick our fingers into our vaginas and touch our cervixes.

And really? Truly? About the only way you could become pregnant from sperm on your hands was if you had a lot of it, perfectly fresh, and did just that. And even then, pregnancy may not occur. But sperm aren't crafty enough to crawl around toilet tissue, and they need the fluids of semen and your own fluids in order to be able to move at all. It's possible for a pregnancy to occur if a partner ejaculates right onto your vulva, but not hugely likely, especially if it wasn't a direct ejaculation and was only on your mons (what you're calling your "triangle.").

Chances are that the reason your period is late is because you're so worried and anxious: when we're stressed out, we usually undereat or overeat, get more manic, don't sleep well -- all things that can upset our cycles. So, the best advice I have for you right now is to relax. if your period still hasn't arrived within a week of when you expect it to, then take a pregnancy test. But it really is very unlikely you have become pregnant.

However, in the future, do you want to be this stressed out about sex? I sure wouldn't: that takes the joy out of all of it. So, I'm also suggesting you do two things:

1) Spend some time thinking about if you really feel ready to deal with the risks -- risks of pregnancy, of STIs/STDs, emotional risks -- that partnered sex of any kind can entail. Sometimes, even when we're ready to deal with the good stuff, we're not in the best space to handle the potential bad stuff, and at those times, it's usually best for us to step away from sex until we DO feel okay with those risks and with managing them.

2) If you DO feel able to deal with those risks, then manage them a bit better so there is less to worry about in the first place. Just washing hands before and after manual sex is important for both partners -- not per pregnancy even so much as to prevent bacterial infections and the lot. Don't have super-close genital contact without a latex barrier. Talk with your partner about what risks are involved in whatever sexual activities you do (I'll give you some links that'll help with that). Keep condoms and latex gloves around and use them. Make sure you're both planning to get started with getting yearly sexual health exams and STI testing: that helps a lot when it comes to feeling empowered, and also gives you both a great person to have around to ask about things like this.

the abouts:

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