EnterZenFromThere wrote:Asking out every woman you meet sounds insane to me. If you wanted to be rich would you ask everyone you met for money?!

Perhaps it sounds insane to you because you are not in the situation being addressed by the original poster?

I am 23 ys old, never had a girlfriend, single and virgin all my life so far.

A decade out from puberty, and never had a girlfriend. It appears he can now think of little else, which is surely understandable.

If this situation continues, another decade from now he'll have "Loser" stamped across his forehead in large type, and his chances of success will drop considerably further. What does he have to lose by getting on with it without further delay?

I'm attempting to simplify a situation which often seems hopelessly complex to the inexperienced.

It doesn't matter how you ask out women (assuming basic manners) so forget about that.

It doesn't matter who you ask out, so forget about that too.

All excuses and complications thus removed, the entire challenge is boiled down to one simple act. Walking up to someone new and asking them out. As many times as possible.

Progress is boiled down to a simple count of how many times a week one performs the needed act, with more being better.

The poster displayed an admirable honesty in sharing his situation with us. Girls tend to like that. He just needs to do what he's already doing in many more places.

That's an idea. Personally I am way too geezer to know anything about online dating sites. However, our niece just met someone that way that she now seems quite taken with.

As a geezer, I'm still stuck with the outdated notion that only lonely losers use online dating sites, but um, our niece is really smart and hot and successful, and her new boyfriend is very rich, and for now at least, they seem very happy together.

Wow, if one took my "ask every woman" plan and married it to an online dating site or three, one could get very busy very quickly it seems.

I can vouch for the online dating site. Online dating sites are awesome. Depending on what you are looking for, there are singles sites for everything now. I met my ex girlfriend on a spiritual singles site, which I highly recommend. It's a wonderful website. But, there are also more casual dating sites if that's what you want.

Meeting girls is incredibly easy. Just talk to people. I wouldn't listen to pick up artists. Most of them approach dating as a game as though picking up a girl is a prize. However, intention means a lot. Instead of trying to pick up girls, why not just start conversations with people as people, including men? I talk to men all the time and I'm a straight guy. Notice how it feels inside to talk to a random man as opposed to a random woman. I notice there is more tension for me when approaching women, largely because of my beliefs. There are subtle thoughts going through my mind saying 'she probably thinks I'm trying to hit on her'. I just watch those thoughts and smile.

Personally, not interested in dating now, but if you're looking to date, online dating is an incredible resource. Forget about sex. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. Sexual energy is just one potential avenue of expression. It's a great way to be in the body for sure, but sex isn't everything. As for online dating, you only close yourself off to those avenues that you don't explore.

Enlightened2B wrote: I wouldn't listen to pick up artists. Most of them approach dating as a game as though picking up a girl is a prize.

Agreed. Sort of.

I agree with abandoning clever tactics, and I think that's what you mean too.

On the other hand, men have been designed over millions of years of mammal genetic heritage to have women on the brain most of the time. There's not a thing wrong with that so long as it is pursued in a respectful manner.

Instead of trying to pick up girls, why not just start conversations with people as people, including men?

Instead of trying to over think it, why not just try to pick up girls? Of course, we're talking about girls who want to be picked up, and not hassling people who aren't interested.

I notice there is more tension for me when approaching women, largely because of my beliefs. There are subtle thoughts going through my mind saying 'she probably thinks I'm trying to hit on her'. I just watch those thoughts and smile.

Um, you probably are trying to hit on her, and it's possible she gets that, and you don't. Possible, that's all.

Forget about sex.

Um, why?

Can we edit that to, forget about playing games to get sex?

Just about every guy wants sex, just about all the time. His Geezer Boner Bozoness is 63, still thinks about sex, sorta all the time.

So I can't agree with telling anybody to forget about sex, especially guys, and most certainly not young guys.

Forget about the games, the clever tactics, the strategies, the moves, your cleverness, and all of that. That's all worth forgetting about.

If you want sex, invite someone to sex, at the appropriate time in the appropriate way.

It's not black and white as I see it. Either approach can work. I'm not telling him to forget about having sex forever. But, worrying about losing your virginity is not going to make it easier either. You can start to come across as desperate and needy to women which is not exactly overly appealing either.

Taking the pressure off by approaching all people equally just as people and making human connection (I personally find) is a better start, than trying and trying to seek and seek and seek and talk to girls with one objective goal in mind (trying to get laid). Human experience is about the journey as I see it. Of course, not to say, you can't have a goal of sorts obviously, but I think he needs some pressure taken off of him by focusing on his experience as opposed to worrying about the outcome of sex. Meaning, if it happens from the connections you make, then so be it. If it doesn't, then so be it as well. Worrying about whether it happens or not is far less conducive to being aligned with Presence as opposed to taking the path of merely looking to connect with people soul to soul. After all, sex is just one avenue of experience.

DylanDude wrote:Dude look up RSDTyler on youtube. He's like the eckhart tolle version of pick up. He has great advice and is very motivating.

Start meditating if you aren't already and start going out. Eckhart tolles advice on life from his books is also great advice.

Get present to the moment. Don't play a role and enjoy the process of meeting women. All easier said than done but if you keep at it you will improve, good luck!

I learned about Ecky from RsdTyler. I feel kind of guilty because of pickup but, if not for that, I would never have dated or approached girls. I am at the point where I am numb to rejection. I realize how cut throat it is. How if you are attractive, it unlocks the legs of women, people treat you different, and if you aren't, you really have to work at it. I am cautious of rsdTyler especially after that shit storm last year. Who would have thought, the topic of men approaching women could spark some problems?

I understand rock's post. It's never come easy. Nothing in life has. I've always had to really work hard at everything (school, girls, working out, meeting people). I am beyond frustrated at times with dating and its not for a lack of effort. I have dated, I did pickup, I have tried online, and social circle. I have come to many conclusions most which I do not like.

I know some people who successfully dated long term or even got married from online. Most of the time, I hear the horror stories. I met some girls and its kind of strange. Sort of predictable or what you would expect to come across from a Craigslist add. I met girl who seems cool and we got along well from the start. She was nervous. It was what you would expect but we both wanted different things, and last I heard, she still online dates.

I have met a bunch through cold approach. It's challenging. Situations are unexpected and pickup takes a lot of time. Girls are flakey. What seems like a great experience is reciprocates with no response. Nothing. This could include following a date or a night out. Needless to say, the idea of paying for anything for a woman I just met is out. With casual pickups, I was never great at just meeting and going home with someone. I did it a bit and it felt foreign. It was as if I paid for it. I left one night with a girl and we had sex in my car. She then started to smoke after which I don't like. I took her out for a bit but she was too aggressive in pursuing a relationship. She now is a single mother. It wasn't me.

Social circle and work are just bad news. People know about your business. I dated a girl here who I met through friends. She was hot and cold. She would text and then no contact for weeks. We went on a date and sure enough, she mentions a guy friend, brushes it off as nothing before mentioning the vacations they went on. If not for pickup, I would be foolish and not have figured out her game. I don't see her anymore. She spent her twenties chasing the bad boys, sleeping around riding the cock carousel, and now wants me beta male provider. The same with girls I went to high school or college. They are single, over weight, mothers of maybe two sometimes more kids. Still, they can't get the ring and no I won't be that sucker who swoops in now she is "done with the hot guys."

I realize that I may never settle down. I may not ever get married or have a family. The question then is, what do I do with my life? I am going to continue to meet and approach women. I will make friends and date but I am content if I never settle down. I just won't be provider male after every bad decision made.