How To Help Someone With An Eating Disorder

Food Matters: How To Help Someone With An Eating Disorder

We live in a society that encourages overindulgence in just about anything that can be consumed, including food. At the same time, we place an emphasis on being thin and fit. This double message causes many of us to have conflicts about food and body image.

Many of us set very high standards for ourselves which we can't always achieve. For some people abusive eating patterns begin in response to feelings of anxiety, frustration or disappointment. Although these eating patterns seem to offer a temporary solution, they lead to more pressures in the long run.

Not everyone who goes on a diet or eats too much pizza on Friday night has an eating disorder. Some experts describe a continuum of eating behaviors with normal eating patterns at one end and severe eating disorders on the other end. People frequently more back and fourth alone this continuum.

The commonly recognized eating disorders are:

Anorexia nervosa

Bulimia

Chronic dieting

Compulsive overeating

Why Can't People With Eating Disorders Just Stop?

People develop problem eating patterns for a variety of reasons:

Fear of weight gain

Response to family problems

Anxieties about sexuality

Pressures to succeed; fear of failure

At first, the eating behavior might provide a feeling of comfort, solace or control. Binging numbs distressing feelings. Purging might begin as a way to relieve physical discomfort after a binge or as a way to avoid weight gain. Eventually it provides a sense of control. With time the eating behavior can become addictive with the accompanying feelings if loss of control, shame, isolation and low self-esteem.

How Do I Recognize That Someone Has an Eating Disorder?

Some possible eating disorders are:

Frequent changes in, and constant talking about weight

Preoccupation with food, nutrition or dieting

Sever weight loss

Face looks pale, hair is limp

Wears layers of clothing or baggy, loose-fitting clothes

Complains frequently of the cold

Faints, blacks out, has dizzy spells, difficulty concentrating

Seems sad, angry, irritable

Isolates self

Makes frequent trips to the bathroom

Takes long, frequent showers

Skips meals, cuts food into small pieces or eats large quantities of food

Steals food or money

What Will Happen If the Eating Disorder Continues?

Some medical/psychological consequences of eating disorders are:

Loss of menstruation

Excessive constipation

Loss of head hair

Growth of fine body hair

Swollen and/or infected salivary glands

Bursting blood vessels in the eyes

Damaged teeth and gums

Dehydration and kidney failure

Electrolyte imbalance leading to hear problems

Insomnia

Low self-esteem

Guilt

Depression or loneliness

Death

How Do I Help?

Be direct: Clearly stated, honest concern is the best approach. If the person's behavior directly affects you (you hear them vomiting, they've stolen food or money, etc.), tell them about it in an objective, nonjudgmental way. Use "I" messages. For example, "I care about the fact that you..." Stay focused on what you've observed and how you eel about it. Don't attack or tell the person what's "wrong" with them.

Listen carefully: You want to encourage discussion of what they are feeling and doing. Careful listening involves asking questions, using attentive body language and paraphrasing the speaker's words to show you understand them.

Keep and open mind: You want to explore the possibility that the person has an eating problem in a way that minimizes defensiveness. Think about your own attitudes towards food, body image and eating disorders. Be careful not to blame, label or judge. Learning about eating disorders is another way to keep an open mind.

Assist with referral: The person with an eating disorder may feel isolated, hopeless or trapped. Help give them hope. Encourage them to get professional help. If necessary, gather information about local resources and facilitate making an appointment.

Be prepared for denial: The person may not be ready to hear your concern or to admit they have a problem. Presenting them with specific examples of their problem eating behavior sometimes helps to break through denial but not always. Accept the fact that you may not see immediate results on your intervention. Consult with a professional if you have any concern about the person's safety.

Adapted for Amherst College Health Services and the Counseling Center. 12/2002

The Food Matters series has been developed by The professional Network on Eating Disorders, University of Massachusetts at Amherst and produced by the Health Education Division, University Health Services, University of Massachusetts at Amherst, 1988.