The Rock bracket is stocked with songs that have held on to constant play for years. Rammstein, White Zombie, Marilyn Manson, Pantera, Danzig. I’m unclear on who decided that “Pepper” and “Mary Jane’s Last Dance” were perfect for the strip club, but both still get regular play. It was, and I’m laughing as I’m typing this, difficult to decide on which Nickelback song to include, but after some dressing room conversations with coworkers, it’s clear that “Shakin’ Hands” is the standout.

The Classics bracket is for songs that are old enough to drink. The youngest song in this bracket is Duran Duran’s “Come Undone,” from 1993. This region is heavy with hair metal songs that are shorthand for “stripper,” like “Pour Some Sugar On Me,” a very strong 1 seed, and “Girls, Girls, Girls.” It also has the mysteriously enduring tracks “Cry Little Sister,” the theme from “Lost Boys.”

Susan, formerly known as Bubbles Burbujas/StripperTweets, is a career stripper who started dancing while Clinton was in office. She has a B.A. in English and enjoys playing totally inappropriate obscure music at work.
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