Meh. This last week has been uneventful in many ways and just chock full of stuff in others. So this post will be a little all over the place. For those of you who speak to me on a daily basis, this is nothing new. I’m amazed when I can pull something together and stay on topic and make a valid point by the end. Sometimes it requires a Herculean amount of effort. Sometimes it just flows. Today it will be one of those splice-together thought processes that almost no one will be able to follow, even me. Maybe look at it as small samples, like tiny little desserts on a tray that you can have a bite of when the mood hits.

Hey guys? The Rapture didn’t happen. I didn’t think it would which makes me even happier that Jane and I didn’t go to Dairy Queen on Friday night and have lots of stuff smothered in hot fudge sauce. For the record, that is exactly what I would do if I knew it was coming. Alas, we will never know ahead of time, so I suppose I should keep myself out of Dairy Queen and the hot fudge sauce. I can grow hips without that kind of help. Lorne (Remember her? The one who named this here blog? She’s Ty over at her place.) had some things to say about Mr. Harold Camping. Hee! Go read it, here. Isn’t that great?

While we are on the subject of stuff that didn’t happen, I should mention that I went to Roller Derby last night. It was fun. I can’t really enthuse a lot about it, though; I’m not sure it is something I will want to do again. While the skating was good, it was a little too circular for my taste. Before you kindly inform me that circular skating is exactly the point and make fun of me a whole lot behind my back, please understand that my only frame of reference for Roller Derby is Drew Barrymore’s movie in which there was lots of cursing and aggression and girlie dramatics of every sort. Also, it should be noted that friends of mine who have raved about Roller Derby also raved about the tasty beverages one can purchase at the auditorium. A ha! While their descriptions of Roller Derby made me yearn to go, I think now that tasty beverages had more to do with the experience than the actual skating. Duly noted. Also, there didn’t seem to be any kind of fighting or much aggression. There wasn’t really any profanity at all except for that one time I almost fell down the stairs. But that was more of a gasp of surprise than a true expletive so it barely counts. However, the company was great because Freddie and Ian came along with some friends of theirs. Rickkster was in attendance as well. I was hopeful that he would drink a lot and tell us secrets but that didn’t happen either. How disappointing.

You know what else didn’t happen? Quan didn’t come to work after Tuesday. We only got to borrow him for a few weeks from one of our other offices. He was replacing a fellow co-worker who had been out after some sort of surgery. I told you from the beginning that we all just liked him so much so it’s a pretty big blow to be without him now. It’s possible that I got a little teary-eyed when I looked down the hall on Wednesday and didn’t see him sitting at his desk.

Also what didn’t happen? Co-worker Grumpy (new character, totally irrelevant) didn’t come to work on Friday. He left our company to move to Montana with his new girlfriend. We fought like brother and sister, a lot. I accused him of not even liking me and questioned him on why we even bothered to have a good-bye drinking party for him when he clearly didn’t want to be there. That was Tuesday. It didn’t get better on Wednesday or Thursday and when I tried to give him a hug good-bye on Thursday, he threw me off like a bratty little kid. So I left him alone and had nothing to do with him for the rest of the day. Later, right before he left, he walked up behind me and gave me the tightest hug and said, “Bye, Fluffy” and then walked away very quickly, almost running. I bawled my eyes out for about an hour. We are so mature, the two of us.

Another thing that didn’t happen? I didn’t get fired, although I totally should have. I had the following email conversation with my boss on Friday, after getting copies of our pay stubs and expense checks.

Jimmie: Hello, Hottie

Boss: Are you drinking?

Jimmie: No, I just got your pay stub and expenses check

Boss: Ah.

It pays to work for a man like him. Anyone else would have at the very least given me a “talking to”. Hee.

Something that did happen that I can’t tell you about? Friday night Phranke came over and had a look at my new room. She’s a much better photographer than me, and she also helped me put my bed together with the new stuff. See?

Yes, I know I have two very orange cats, one of which sheds at least a full cat in fur every day. So what? White and orange go well together and I can purchase all of the lint rollers I want.

Anyway, she shared some stories with me that made me laugh until my abs hurt but those are her stories to share, not mine. I’m such a tease. You’re welcome.

A final thing that didn’t happen? I didn’t run the full six miles I was scheduled for on Saturday. I ran/walked them but didn’t get to run them all. Ugh. Sometimes this running thing blows. Still, so that I don’t discourage others of you trying to do this, there are times you just have to remind yourself that it won’t always be so difficult, and that the more you practice, the easier it gets. Also remind yourself that once you have finished your running or water aerobics or whatever exercise you choose, you will feel so much better, no matter how disgusting you get while doing it. The sacrifice is worth it even if you have a cry a little during it. Plus! I saw a HUGE black and yellow snake. Call me weird, but it was kind of cool. I could have reached out and touched him, he was so close.

Erm, okay. Yeah, that’s it for today. You expected something more? I just told you I was a tease and that I was boring. You’re welcome.

It makes me very sad very deep down in my ♥ that this is the experience you took away from your first roller derby! This was one of the better bouts that I’ve had the great pleasure of watching, and the beverages are only a small part of the night. Did you totally miss the girl who got kicked out mid-bout and gave the two-fingered salute as she exited the arena? And what about the jammer who went to the sideline with her hand to her mouth checking for blood after being hammered? And that crazy guy who kept running up into the stands throwing roller girl towels and coozies into the crowd? How did you miss all of the fun and excitement that is roller derby??