“When is an apology enough?” Sonny Hostin asked on the December 7 edition of The View. The co-host’s question echoed the one posed by fill-in moderator Joy Behar at the start of the segment discussing the Kevin Hart Oscar controversy.

Who would have guessed the voice of reason would be a “conservative” one?

“My biggest issue was his non-apology apology,” Abby Huntsman said. “Why not use this as a platform to go out there and speak to one of the biggest audiences you have in the year on television?”

It’s so lazy to blame “mob mentality” (as Hostin did) and our allowing social media “to dictate how we feel about people’s character” (as Wild ‘N Out host Nick Cannon did while publicly supporting his BFF Hart) every time the masses call out anything.

Social media can be nasty and merciless, but outrage doesn’t conveniently become a bandwagon sport just because you don’t agree with it. Hart’s homophobic history never might have resurfaced had the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences not hired him to host the entertainment industry’s second-gayest black-tie event after the Tony Awards.

As Huntsman astutely pointed out, he’d never actually apologized prior to getting the gig. Nor had he demonstrated the growth Hostin credited to him. To answer her question: All the apologies in the world are meaningless without actions to back them up.

I can’t speak for the way the “mob” behaves when calling out people like Hart, his fellow comedian Tracey Morgan, MSNBC’s Joy Reid, rappers Eminem, Nicki Minaj, and Offset, and baseball major leaguers Trea Turner, Sean Newcomb, and Josh Hader for homophobic tweets, jokes, and lyrics. I don’t support demonizing these people and trolling them on social media. Everyone says and does dumb things, and everyone deserves the opportunity to make amends.

But apologizing with excuses, rationalizations, and qualifiers isn’t making amends. It’s just damage control.

For Hart, “I’m sorry” only came after he gave up the Oscar post. Pointing out that he no longer includes homophobic content in his work because “It can throw you under the bus,” as he did in a 2014 interview on Conversations with Ed Gordon, wasn’t an apology. It was so Megan “I’ve never been a PC kind of person” Kelly, making his regret all about someone else’s rules.

I have made the choice to step down from hosting this year's Oscar's….this is because I do not want to be a distraction on a night that should be celebrated by so many amazing talented artists. I sincerely apologize to the LGBTQ community for my insensitive words from my past.

Even when apologies are straightforward and sincere, the sinners, not the sinned-against, are responsible for their own redemption. It’s a process that commences with contrition and not something granted as a result of it. Like Hart, comedian Sarah Silverman has taken the “my bad” route over past gay jokes, but she didn’t make it all about protecting her career.

“All I can do is learn from it, be changed forever by it, and do what I can to make it right going forward,” she recently told The Guardian.

Time will tell if she backs up her words with actions.

Hart didn’t. As recently as 2015, he and Will Ferrell were dropping gay stereotypes in the movie Get Hard. Then after the Oscar controversy boiled over, rather than respectfully addressing the issue the way he probably would expect a supposedly recovered racist to atone for his sins for the second, or umpteenth, time, if necessary, he basically told his detractors to get a life in two Instagram videos.

The apology he ultimately offered on Twitter after refusing to do so twice on Instagram felt meaningless because he made it under duress. He’s had nearly a decade to, in Silverman’s words, make it right, and he squandered the opportunity.

Hart and his fellow celebrities claiming contrition only after facing the firing squad should take some cues from a once-highly unlikely source: U.S. Senator Orrin Hatch (Rep-Utah). In the 1970s, the politician was comparing gays to neo-Nazis.

“I wouldn’t want to see homosexuals teaching school any more than I’d want to see members of the American Nazi Party teaching school,” he infamously told University of Utah students.

To my knowledge, he never apologized for his terrible math, but in his own way, Hatch took a huge step toward making it right last June when he honored Pride Month with a 10-minute speech on the floor of the U.S. Senate.

“LGBT youth deserve our unwavering love and support,” Hatch, 84, said. “They deserve our validation and the assurance that not only is there a place for them in this society, but that it is far better off because of them.”

He continued: “These young people need us — and we desperately need them. We need their light to illuminate the richness and diversity of God’s creations. We need the grace, beauty, and brilliance they bring to the world.”

It took him more than 40 years to get there, but better late in life than never.

HATCH on #PrideMonth : The LGBT community deserves our unwavering love and support, and the assurance that not only is there a place for them in this society, but that it is far better off because of them. #utpolpic.twitter.com/tAL1F3xSUc

Perhaps Hart just needs more time, though, hopefully, it will take less than four decades. Gays may not suffer homophobia gladly, but we’re more forgiving than many give us credit for being. “If you choose not to believe me then that’s on you,” Hart wrote alongside his first Instagram post calling out his foes for being “negative.” I haven’t given up on Hart — and I presume the LBGTQ community hasn’t either — but whether our public opinion swings in his favor in the future is on him, not on us.

The apology is but a start. Let’s see if he uses his huge platform to begin spreading a pro-LGBTQ message the way the likes of Kanye West, Jay-Z, and even Nick Cannon have (the latter’s recent blaming the offended notwithstanding). Hart’s audience might not be as prestigious as the U.S. Senate, but it’s considerably larger. He may have had to forfeit the Oscar gig, but judging from his record-breaking Australian performances amid the controversy, his star power remains undimmed.

Hart for Oscar host in 2020? If he plays it right in 2019, it will be a far more palatable option than four more years of President Donald Trump.

22 Comments

I always just say just reverse the bigotry. say it was a white comedian that said all those nasty things about black people. would we even be having this discussion? Nope. Would’ve never made it that far.

We also live in a society that expects and demands apologies for everything. When an apology is given, then it has to be torn apart and decided if it’s worthy, or even good enough. Or it’s considered a non apology, and the “focus groups”, talk shows and open letters continue because said people don’t feel the apology was good enough. Hopefully Hart is doing some soul searching about how he can better himself and learn. That’s all we can hope for and ask. I like to believe that people can make positive strides, but many others it will never be good enough.

He said he feels bad if your feelings were hurt. That’s an official f*ck you non apology. It’s cool either way. Lets not fool ourselves though. No way no how would the oscars go ahead with him and he knew graveling wasn’t going to do anything. He had fans who would pounce on him being a suck up.

Queerty, why do you alienate you readership with comments like “Who would have guessed the voice of reason would be a “conservative” one?” It is obvious that not all of your readers are liberals. There is nothing wrong with being conservative.

@GetOffMyInternets Not quite. My comments were to convey the bias of this site. This site is not representative of the gay community. This site is a far left echo chamber that polices (deletes) diverse perspectives.

REALLY???!!! Why do you want to say the N-Word so bad??? Because otherwise why would you care why a people who were historically demeaned by that word would want to use it themselves? And more tellingly, why would you bring this up in relation to this article??

Joy Reid didn’t really offend me. She said what we were all thinking right? About Miss Charlie, the Florida closet case. Tracy Morgan is another case. Didn’t he admit he’d stab his son in the back if his son came out to him? That is messed up.

I don’t want an apology, I want him to do/say good positive things about gay youth, many of which like him.

Please Kevin, if your agent tells you to do three or four gay themed movies in 2019 as a form of apology, DON’T DO IT – Your movies are cheesy as is – Do a nice stand-up, acknowledge your mistakes, make fun of them, and move on (like Chappel).

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I have a problem with policing comedy. Good comedy is going to walk the line – occasionally you’re going to go too far and I think a clapback can be a good thing. Comedians should take risks; they should also listen when audiences say “Ok, that’s not so cool.”

But I also think that if you want to be someone who tells gay jokes, you can’t host the Oscars. Kevin Hart can do whatever shitty comedy he likes and I truly don’t care, but you can’t then turn around and front the Gay Super Bowl.

If I were a comedian who did ‘hilarious’ bits about how football players are brain-damaged wife-beating rapists I would be a bad choice to host the Espys. Even though I’m sure I’d have fans sticking up for me. Same with Kevin Hart.