Best friends in sickness, in health, and in our 20s.

Category Archives: love

The above is tonight’s best text is from fellow (presumed-never blogging) DGCW blogger, Jacqui “Quackie” Kardes. I received this message in my phone’s inbox approximately 6.5 hours after setting up a twitter account in her name without her permission; those words were her response to the confirmation email awaiting her. MUAHAHAHA

This post is going to entirely be me bragging about how amazing my friends are.

Friday night we went to the much-anticipated Tremont Art Walk and made it to all of 3 establishments, 2 of which centered around drinking. The first was an extensive visit to Clay’s place of employment, and because I adore him oh-so-much, I never wanted to leave. We did leave, and Biz insisted that he see some sort of art or artsy (read: scenester) thing while at an Art Walk, so we went into a store and browsed, mostly finding every owl in the store to show Kate (ChiO!). We made our way to the Treehouse where we sat on the patio and argued about boys, played truth or dare, and judged the copious amounts of fashion don’ts mingling around our table. Kate also used a broken-off chair leg as a weapon against our server, which was great…and then Paul King showed up to play for a while! It was marvelous seeing him and hearing about his current mental and physical location in life.

Saturday was a day with all the ladies– wedding party dress shopping was a (successful) blast, pigging out at Brace was expected and nonstop for 12 hours, naptime and errand-running happened, and we spent time with “the moms” putting together the hand-made Save the Dates. They are so cute! I love time with our girlfriends. Such a great group of people and so much tangible love.

This is my last week of work and I am leaving Friday morning for tons of busy but fulfilling adventures. It is all happening so quickly (even though it’s been a long time coming) so I have been feeling a little anxious about getting all my stuff done while also having closure with friends. That is really why I am so lucky to have had such a friend-filled weekend and week.

I was able to stop by and see my mentor (organizer of the Women’s Lunchbox Series I volunteered for this year!) yesterday; her words are always so supportive and inviting for dialogue. I love the space she creates for others, and I have learned so much about how to “be” because of her. Her example has helped me hear other peoples’ stories, including one of her own– she met HRC (!!!!!), Bill Clinton, and got a professional compliment from Janet Reno while working on the Crime bill in DC in the ’90s! WHAT?! So inspiring. Last night (in true E-town fashion) I had No. 1 Kitchen with Jacq (the dude working laughed at me when I asked if they could make Sesame Tofu), and today Chrissa and Jes treated me to Gourmand’s (YESSSS), where i partook in the irresistable spicy black bean burger and even had a delicious chocolate chunk cookie for dessert.

To top tonight off, fellow UGIVE VISTAs Karen and Marjorie had a wine night with me on Karen’s woods-surrounded back patio in the perfect early summer evening weather. We had a bottle of red, a bottle of white, lots of laughter, and a great visit from an old friend of Karen’s that I happen to know from camp! The evening ended in a conversation that may result in yet another blogging project for me…but more on that later. Cecil Ashley (now married!!) kept me company on my drive home by filling me in on her honeymoon.

Honestly, I am so happy and so blessed to have such an incredible universe of people surrounding me. Indulgence doesn’t always cause regret or consuming too much calories…though my life is incredibly rich.

It’s a joke across my various networks of friends that I am a relentless and incessant inquirer into people’s souls, starting conversations with ridiculous Inquisition-like musings (“Tell me the 3 most important facts about yourself.”) that change every few weeks.

In November, the question became, “On what principle(s) do you think the universe operates?”

Cue bizarre looks, eyerolls and sheepishly uttered I-don’t-knows.

I’m still waiting for a few answers (you know who you are! It’s been a month and a half!), but I got everything from “randomness” to “science” to “contagious energies” to “humour.” Let me be clear in saying that this is not me asking for a profession of faith (though you could give a religious response if you wanted to); I was simply asking why people thought the world functioned the way it did day-to-day.

When the question was thrown back at me (as it so often is now…people are catching on!), I gave my go-to response: LOVE. I took a course on domestic violence my last semester at Loyola where we examined “love”– what it meant, where it came from and what its byproducts were. One thread of discussion led me to a conclusion that made so much sense to me: even the most destructive emotions and feelings (fear, anger, hatred, devastating sadness) are based on love. They are not opposites of love; they are derivatives. (The opposite, FYI, would be apathy and lack of any sort of passion or commitment.) We feel those other sentiments when we become so deeply devoted to a person, an idea, WHATEVER, that we cannot imagine our lives without it.

I just finished reading the newly released This I Believe: On Love and have been so touched by so many stories. (I am such a sap.) The one still resonating with me (read it all here) tells a story of a woman’s children who give so fully of themselves in so many ways—verbally, emotionally, physically—and their material kindness is, proportionally, is more than most of us ever consider to give.

With the holidays, I always feel deeply grateful for all I have (and could have) and simultaneously overwhelmed with how much I have that I don’t need/use. I always consider giving away so many of those things that are in excess in my life, and somehow another year always flies by before I ever ACTUALLY follow through.

That TIB story that touched me so deeply ends by saying, “If we all took the time to love as innocently as a child, what would come of this world? If we took the time to give someone our favorite doll or our tooth fairy money, what difference would that make to another?” and that made me think about how exactly the love of children differs from the love I try to practice in my daily life. I realized that, with children, there are no factors that limit their love. They are not worried about budgeting or maintaining their own quality of life or keeping what they earn; they see someone’s needs being unmet and they give part of what they have to ensure that those needs come closer to being met, even if only for a few hours, simply because they are a fellow person.

The story and my reflections led me to think about what is inhibiting how I love, who I love, and why I love certain people without fully loving all people. I think new year’s resolutions, if we make them at all, should be a goal set to put new practices and lifestyles into place that last all year long, even after the holiday glow has worn off from the rest of society. Mine just might be an investigation of what is holding me back from loving others as much as I am able to.

My big sister Lyndsay came to town for Christmas this year– best present ever! She lives in LA and the last time we were able to see her was August 2008, so it’s always a special treat when we get quality time with her. My sisters, mom and I went through the bins of keepsakes our mom kept all these years– art projects, report cards, stories we authored, certificates and awards, and even memorabilia from when we were wee little things. Some highlights include: my adorable little red mary janes from when I was less than 1 year old, a note authored by Lyndsay dubbing her as my “bigger, famous sister,” and a “Women in Politics” word search that I completed at the age of 4 (!!!!). Go on, Matt Smola, say it– “that’s my majorrr!!” The world shoulda seen it coming….

I want to share two things with you from my 3rd grade year. The first is a note to me from my Dad on the first day of school. My elementary school had closed down so I was going to a new school for the first time ever; he must have written it to make me feel better. It’s funny how I don’t remember this letter but so many of these pieces of wisdom have stuck with me throughout my life (or at least I like to think so).

Dear Molly Mo: Good, good morning to you, Peanut! I just wanted to tell you to have a GREAT first day of school as a (can it be true?) THIRD GRADER! Listen carefully to your teachers every day and learn as much as you can every day…you have many special things about you that not everyone has, so be the very best worker that you can be. Be kind to all your classmates and teachers…there is no substitute for kindness and understanding toward others, no matter who they are. Treat others like you want to be treated. Your mother and I are VERY PROUD of you and all that you have learned so far– keep working hard. Mommy and I love you more than you’ll ever know, and we’ll always help you when you need it! Have a great day, and I’m looking forward to hearing about your day.Love,Daddy

Shared item #2: “Happiness is…”: 3rd grade edition. I feel like we did more than just 2 of these, but only 2 were salvaged in my bin, so enjoy them and use your imagination to think of what awesome responses I had to finish the statement for the remainder of my 3rd grade year.

8/30/96 Happiness is… Something inside your heart that puts a smile on your face and a song in your heart, friends, reading, playing with my dog and piano.

9/10/96 Happiness is…Staying in shape, playing in water, being in shows and plays, playing with friends during summer rain showers, and reading a good book at school or home.

It was a riot looking through the traces of my life with the people who watched me grow up. It was also full of positive, uplifting notes about how blessed my life has been….though seeing all the things I accomplished up to the age of 18 makes me feel a little bit like I’ve already peaked. Ha, ha. Anyway, I recommend it if you’re bored during any of the remaining time in your break. 🙂