Path 2

Gym-Free Queens School Sounds Awesome, But Is Not

March 19, 2011

A high school in Queens just sort of forgot to offer gym classes. Which — woohoo! But actually, gym credits are required in order to graduate in the New York City public school system. So about 100 seniors at the Robert F. Wagner Secondary School in Long Island City might not be able to graduate unless they can make up all that missed gym before the end of the school year. How did nobody notice this before?

Look, we all get that gym sucks. A bunch of hormonal kids in shorts feeling self-conscious about their kickball skills, and by extension, everything. And getting sweaty in the middle of the school day, which is gross and annoying. But — doesn’t matter! Schools have to offer it. And it’s pretty bizarre that this school’s principal was like, “What is ‘gym’?”

The kids are freaking out. One of them told CBS, “Words can’t even express how mad we all are. They messed up big time and they’re not coming up with a plausible solution.” Solutions such as counting Wii Fit workouts as gym hours have actually been suggested by school administration. The students are claiming that the school has encouraged them to cheat and ask private gyms to sign papers saying they’ve been working out.

The Department of Education is getting involved and investigating the matter. It makes sense that the students are upset, but it doesn’t make sense that no one complained or noticed before. Has everyone at this high school just been in a collective fugue state?