This Week on TV

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 21 8:00 CBS SURVIVOR: VANUATU Hilarity ensues when the castaways try to kill a hog. 9:00 BBC THE OFFICE SPECIAL The most uncomfortably hilarious Brit sit-com EVER is back with a two-hour special.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 23 8:00 FOX RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD--Movie (1982) When a redneck sheriff pushes him too far, non-violent drifter Rambo tries a different strategy. 11:00 FOX MAD TV This week hosted by the hotsy-totsy cast of The O.C. !

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 24 9:00 ABC DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES Susan's snoopy Christian neighbor tries to blackmail her for burning down Edie's house. (HmmmÉ now what would Jesus do?)

MONDAY, OCTOBER 25 8:00 FOX THE SWAN 2 Season Premiere! A whole new season of nipping and tucking homely girls--all in the name of perfection, and really ugly eveningwear. 10:00 CBS CSI: MIAMI In this Halloween episode, the CSI team investigates who left a flaming bag of poop on their front step.

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 26 8:00 ABC IT'S THE GREAT PUMPKIN, CHARLIE BROWN On Halloween night, Linus awaits "The Great Pumpkin" as the other kids try to figure out a way to get him back on his meds. 8:00 NBC THE BIGGEST LOSER The chubby contestants are forced to sell baked goods without eating them! See?! It's funny because they're fat!

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 27 8:00 ABC LOST Michael gets the crap beat out of him, and no one will say who did it. Man! These are the rudest airplane crash survivors EVER. 8:00 WB SMALLVILLE When Lionel gains Clark's powers, he opens up a can of whup-ass on Smallville.