Tragic Coming Out Story

Here is an email I received from Q, an MGG reader. What a tragic way of coming out! Read and learn a lesson or two… and leave Q a message too — he’s just so kind to share his story for all of us to learn from. Love you all and world peace!

– o –

Dear Migs,

This is the first time I’m emailing a complete stranger and the first time I’m sharing events of my life, but I feel this is something every gay guy (closeted or not) should know and be warned about.

Call me Q. I am 18 years old, studying at one of the top universities in the Phils, chinese features, and not that attractive (except to chasers) coz I’m overweight. As such, the only sexual release with other males I usually get is either through chasers or through prostitutes. I’ve never really had a boyfriend (although I had two pseudo-boyfriends, they’re not quiet the real thing coz there was no commitment and such), primarily because when it comes to things like that, I’m too picky for the limited pool. Anyway, now that you have my background

SM North

Yesterday (Friday, March 30) was a very bad day for me. I went to SM North to watch TMNT (I usually go to SM because its just one jeepney ride away from home). After I left the movie, I realized that my cellphone was gone, probably slid off my pockets or something, because I had lots of stuff in it. After checking with the watcher the places where I sat, and hindi pa rin namin nakita, he said for me to come back when the movie is over, mga 5:30, para i-check niya with the sweepers and all. It was still quarter to 5 then, and I didn’t want to watch it again na, so I left the cinema and was browsing through some magazines.

The guy

Then I saw this guy, about 5’8-5’10, moreno, slim, trying to get my attention by being as slutty as possible without the normal passersby noticing (you know it, pakagat-kagat ng labi, raising his shirt to show stomach innocently, etc etc), and he was looking at my direction. This is probably the second time I saw him, the first time, lumapit rin siya, pero la ako pera then so di ako pumatol. During this time, sobrang down ako because I lost my cellphone, so ayun, pumatol ako.

I passed by him, glanced at him, then siya naman, sunod (the usual modus-operandi). Then we stopped by the comic booth, and he started asking kung pwede ba ako ngayon “gumimik”, I asked him straightforward: magkano? He said P500. Sabi niya “hotel tayo, kasi mahirap dito,” then I said, “OK magkano ba ang hotel?”. He then replied that it was below 500, mga 200-300. I then told him that I wasn’t sure kung pwede ako then and there because I was waiting for my cellphone. Sinasabi pa niya na “malaki to,” sabay rub. After I talked to the guards and watcher, then pumayag na ako.

The “gimik”

We went off to the hotel naka-taxi pa kami, inside the taxi he was asking me all kinds of things about my life: where my family is, where I live, what my parents do, where I study, etc, etc. I thought this was normal, coz I already hired about three guys before, and some were equally curious. Anyway, we got to the hotel (it was in Caloocan, beside Victoria Court), an area I’m unfamiliar with, but which he apparently knew well.

We were given our room (pay later), and went inside. Then he started becoming weirdly reluctant, and we both took our pre-sex showers. After this was done, he just stretched on the bed and wanted to get off already, his reason: because his tita texted him daw and wanted him to watch their computer shop (usually those I hired before were willing to give me foreplay at least, since my ass is still virgin and will remain so). He then told me to just suck him off …(details deleted by Migs)… Then he came in my mouth. He asked me if I got off already (I did, jacking off as he came in me). Then promptly went off to get his shower, after which I did as well. Paglabas ko, I gave him the P500 that was our deal. He pocketed it, then we went to pay the hotel bill. When we left, medyo chummy-chummy pa kami, we boarded a trike, and were told to wait kasi baka daw may missing pa sa room, sobrang atat na atat na siya umalis. He told the trike driver dun sa bus, but when the trike driver went straight, he told the driver to go left. Then we ended up on EDSA, right beside a mobile police station.

Pulis!

He told the police standing outside na binayaran siya, and that I was trying to cheat him off, by paying kulang. Of course the police dragged both of us in, I dont think they were in on this scum-of-the-earth’s scheme to fleece money, but I think they just wanted it settled para wala nang problema. He then threw the 500 i gave him back on the table and said I had to get P15000 to pay him off right then (nagyabang pa siya that German Moreno sucked him off for 20k), para masettle na. The police made it clear na both of us yung masasampahan ng kaso (me for paying him, him for being a prostitute). So well, I asked I then told him to wait muna, coz I was going to call some friends, who I hoped to God had money, to pay him off. Normally, in situations like this, my relatives could take care of it (may tito ako na lawyer, and lolo na judge). But then I wasn’t out to them or my family so I was panicking out of my wits. I made about 4calls to my closest friends: My best friend was grounded and had no money, my other best friend who I knew had the money was at Enchanted Kingdom, another was out on a date with his gf, and the fourth, a girl, was panicking on my behalf and telling me the guy had no standing in court etc etc etc (I knew this, but there would still be a case, and it would equal sobrang hassle for me). She said she would try to do anything, but she didn’t know if she had the money. We went back to the station then (it had no phone), and she called again on the policeman’s phone, saying much the same thing. I told her to please just get the money.

Sister, Brother, I’m gay

So out of hope, and the asshole prostitute was just saying “Kung di mo ako babayaran, presinto na lang”, I finally called my sister and basically not only outed myself to her but told her I hired a prostitute, was caught by the police and had to pay him off with P15k. Naturally, she went ballistic, she had no idea where to get the money, then I told her to call my brother na rin and ask him. I told them not to tell our parents. (it was only me and my sister living together, my brother boarded in Manila and my parents were in the province). I then waited for her to arrive.

During this time, I wanted to kill myself for doing something really stupid, aside from trying to look for a way to hail a taxi and escape. After waiting some time inside the station I was surprised na may dumating na sargento who apparently was called in by my female friend, and tried to settle with the guy (he was reticent saying na hindi naman daw ung sargento ung magbabayad). After talking with the guy, the sergeant told me that we’d prolly pay half the amount plus of course some additional to the police for keeping it quiet.

When my sister came, she asked both sides, the scum-of-the-earth told his first. He said na:
1. Ako lumapit sa kanya at nagyaya na mag-gimik (I dont even use the term gimik!)
2. He said na sinabi niya outright dun pa lang sa SM na 15 000, and the 500 daw was the price of the hotel room. (I AM NOT DEAF. and you only demanded the 15000 from me as settlement money inside the police station).

Then she asked my side.

After this, my brother arrived. The guy settled to pay at half the amount, and we gave 500 to the police to shut up. Then we went home.

The Confrontation at Home

Pagdating sa bahay, my sister was pissed:
1. She didn’t know I was gay
2. She was worried that something else might have happened and she wouldn’t know it (nasaksak, etc, take your pick)
3. What about diseases?! (I told her I’ve never been F*ed, etc.)
4. Baka habulin pa kami nung guy na yun, extorting more money from us.

Then my brother said na he wont trust me again (the usual) and as I was explaining to my sister, he then said na he doesn’t want to hear my “excuses”. Sabi ko (nagrason pa, thats me!), they are not excuses, they are explanations, kasi nga my sister was asking me. Then he went ballistic and started punching me. Naturally (even in my crying state), I fought back, and my sister had to intervene between us. Then he said I owed him nothing, na kalimutan na ang 6500 that he paid, and never talk about it ever again.

And ladies and gentlemen, this is the story of how I came out to my brother and sister courtesy of a male prostitute by the name of Jeffry Santos (I checked the blotter), lost my cellphone, stayed in a police station for three hours, cried my heart out, was traumatized for life, and realized na konti lang talaga ang tunay na kaibigan (that sergeant really helped a lot).
I hope that this can serve as a lesson to all you guys out there na pumapatol sa mga for-hire.

Thanks for reading,

Q

Comments (111)

This was an eye opener for me Q, thanks. Nakaka sad na you were just 18 when you had this experience. I had a similar experience when I was 25, I’m already 29, and just a couple of days ko lang nabasa tong mga ganito so got curious to search other stories, anyway it’s not as extreme as yours and sa ibang nag post. This happened sa moviehouse sa cubao, fetish ko ang dad looks so ako ang sumunod sa kanya sa upuan hinimas ko dick nya then i was about to suck him kaso i didn’t like the smell so i said I changed my mind and then eto na he said “magbayad ka muna” i was really shocked kinabahan but i calmly responded wala namang usapan na ganun and he replied na di daw ako nagtanong and demanded 200php, i said wala naman ako ginawa and he said nahimas ko na daw titi nya at luge sya, 150 lang dala ko that time just for my dinner at pamasahe, i know the amount was small compared sa hinihingi sa inyo but i remained calm and i said wala ako extra and mas kinabahan ako nung sinabi nya na pag di ako nagbayad eh susundan nya ako at ipapahiya shit, I’m a shy and soft spoken guy and now ko lang naramdaman yung ganitong kaba so i just said talaga wala akong extra and I was sincere kasi wala talaga then I stood up he held my arms sabi nya 50php na lang, I immediately gave him 50php and went out. Thanks din dito kasi madalas din ako pumunta sa isetann recto, was thinking of hiring a callboy kasi I’d like to experience it but I guess will never do it, buti na lang may pagka suplado ako never ako nakipagtitigan kahit na type ko yung guy and siguro because of that wala lumalapit skin, 2017 na, sure ako naka move on ka na, sa mga ka beks ingat tayo lagi

I am a straight guy. I was in Cubao going to Chowking beside Eurotel when a girl followed me inside Chowking and sat on one of the chairs so I would notice her. I did notice her and sat across her table. I asked if she was for hire and she said yes. However, I did not like her so I went out of Chowking and went to farmers to go to a massage parlor. To my surprise our paths crossed again. So this time I asked how much and she said 700 pesos. I agreed and we tried to check in to Sogo and Spring Hotel but there was a queue so I suggested to go to Astro. She agreed and told me she had reservations with Astro because they ask for ID. Anyway, we went in and I was surprised she was not noticed by the front desk. So I told myself, she is perhaps a regular here. So we went up to the given room and she started to massage me. I noticed though that she kept opening the door and I started to have bad feelings. She seemed like she was waiting or looking out for someone. She then asked me to undress so we could proceed with sex. So I undressed and she put on the condom. She was on top of me. After three minutes, I told her I was not being turned on because she was still clothed. She told me she would ask me extra if she undresses. So I told her never mind. She asked what is my work and I told her that I work for a bank. While I was naked and my penis covered with condom, she kept opening the door that made me anxious and worried so I got up and dressed up and threw the condom and the box into the toilet. Right after we got dressed, she started charging me for the condom, for the massage. I told her I don’t have money in my wallet which is true. I told her I only bought 1000 pesos and I had given her 700 already and I had paid the hotel 250 pesos so what was left was only 50 pesos which I immediately gave her. However, she would not stop and told me that I worked for a bank and she does not believe that I don’t have money. So she told me she would tell the police and her friends in the area of the child abuse that happened. Obviously, I know this is a danger sign already. So I told her I could go to the ATM to withdraw but she demanded some assurance so I gave her my Iphone3GS. So we went out of the motel but once outside, I saw a taxi and I immediately boarded a cab and asked the driver to sped away which the driver did. I felt relieved. If there is any consolation, I locked my IPhone3GS with PIN, it is Globe locked, it showed already signs of hanging and the SIM inside is my extra curricular SIM. In short, the exposure was limited. This experience tells me you cannot trust pick up girls/boys especially in Cubao.

The same thing happened to me……TWICE. The earthly desires are so hard to leave unnoticed. hehe 😈

I was so discreet that these incidents totally scared the shit out of me.

First- Cubao, sa may old moviehouse which keeps on playing old films, it was 10pm I believe, ika nga, spur of the moment na nakaramdam ako ng urge to look for pleasure. Tumambay lang ako sa labas ng moviehouse na yan- I never got in. Then may bagets na tumitingin tingin sa akin. Average looking na may appeal- pantawid gutom- pwede na. hehe. It was so cool to realize after reading your post na these freaks use the same term- “GIMIK”. Gumimik naman daw kami- then it led to sex thing- P500, I thought at first, it was a thrill- so I gave in- sa Cubao- very cheap and stinky motel- rinig sa lahat kung mag-moan man or what not; akalain mo yun? to satisfy this sex hunger- kahit san pwede na. What he did is just he bit my nipples and did handjobs, when I asked him to suck me- he declined, when I attempted to suck him- he refused- SAN PA AKO LULUGAR NYAN? Luging lugi naman ako. haha, pero I was very determined to taste his average tool- kahit pumiglas- i did suck it. After it’s all done- I gave him the 500php and he demanded MORE- P5thou. Nabigla ako, so scared ’cause he raised his voice, ginawa ko daw siyang bading for sucking him, aktong susuntukin na ako- lumabas kami habang hila nya damit ko with a closed fist ready to attack me- scandal talaga, mga tao umaawat- hanggang sa nakawala ako- then I RAN AS FAST AS I COULD! HE NEVER FOLLOWED ME, Sobrang takot ko na I felt I’m Usain Bolt sa sobrang bilis kong tumakbo. haha. I TOLD MYSELF NEVER TO DO IT AGAIN.. EVER.

But TO ERR IS HUMAN.
Second- SM MegaMall; 2nd floor, I was about to go home when I chanced upon this cute guy- I guess he’s 5’5″; nicee built- ma-appeal talaga. We stared for 5 seconds habang naglalakad ako, then he smiled.Ayun, tinawag ko. Spur of the moment for intense and earthly pleasure..again. This guy’s pretty close to what you have described- MATANONG; career and family background- I’m wise enough not to disclose any info- when he asked where I was working- sabi ko lang- “dyan lang sa tabi tabi”- but he kept on trying to juice out info. Then sabi nya; SEX TRIP daw; I asked- Free? he confirmed. Ako naman-sa isip isip ko- “Sa wakas!” hehe. I really never thought of that first incident. I was completely blown away by the looks of this cute guy. Weird lang kasi he keeps on giving compliments- “Ganda ng jacket mo ah!”; “Mamahalin yang sapatos mo ah!”- then after we agreed on doing it- He suddenly joked na if we could be in a relationship- Shy type po ako- ngumiti lang. haha. Then he hailed a cab malapit sa St. Francis and we went to a motel in Pasig. TAPOS PANAY ANG TEXT NYA- wala pa rin akong hint pero I felt scared for no exact reason. Then after we got into the room- he took shower first; takot din ako na baka robber e2 so I kept on looking for my things- Nga pala, kakabili ko lang ng 2 new pair of leather shoes, so ingat talaga. Then he undressed and I sucked him. I never ask him to suck me kasi he’s too cute to do it. hehe. Matindi daw kiliti nya sa nipples- Ah ganun, heto ka- I sucked his nipples, then his dick, then his nipples. then we both had a fountain of cum. After that, ETO NA! He demanded for his fee. Pucha! Kanina lang free of charge; TRIP TRIP; ngaun he turned out to be a callboy; DAMN! That’s when I started to feel scared and remember the first incident- OH NO! HERE WE GO AGAIN! 😯
Mas matindi ang confrontation dito kesa sa una; bumaba kami sa may concierge type then scandal talaga sa mga empleyado dun (shit, may girl pa naman. hehe). Then one employee agreed to accompany us kasi magwiwithdraw na ako. While walking, this fuckin’ kolboy’s infuriated (cya pa may gana ha!) Lecheng kolboy e2, ang lakas ng boses- kinwento na I gave hum a bj eh ang daming tao sa kalye. ATM incident na- aba’y naging 8thou ang demand. pataas ng pataas- marunong talaga ang mga bwisit na e2. I only had 1 thou in my debit card, I withdrew all at binigay ko; cyempre galit.

YOU KNOW WHAT I DID?

I RAN AGAIN- THE USAIN BOLT WAY. Haha! 😆 kala niya maisahan ko cya. I just heard him saying “Oh ayan, tumakbo na”- AND HE NEVER FOLLOWED ME AS WELL”.

NEVER WILL I EMBODY “THIRD’S A CHARM” PRINCIPLE… NEVER!!!

I learned my lesson.

It’s just that I am easily fooled by sweet nothings. Never will I submit myself to this freakin’ modus operandi!

I can relate to Q as this happened to me as well just last night at Glorietta, I still could not really believe that this thing could ever happen as I thought I was on a very safe place. It happened to me as I was about to leave Glorietta and as I was walking I saw this guy approaching and he started to send signals that he’s kinda interested in me. When I finally passed by him, I looked back and he’s also looking at me and making gestures to come towards him. So ako naman medyo engot at excited at the same time lumapit sa kanya and I asked him if he knows me, and he said no, and he told me he thought I was cute, and so it was when we got a bit to talking. He introduced himself and said his name is Jun. I noticed that he seemed very interested as he asked a lot of questions about me, my personal information which I was very hesitant to share as what I really wanted was for us to do what we were supposed to do. He asked me if my family and friends know about my sexuality and I said hell no, and then he said that he actually has a wife and a kid which I think was a bluff, maybe its his way to make me a little at ease with him. He talked a lot of personal stuff about him which seemed inconsistent, but I was not really interested about him, although I might say that he’s kinda good looking. Then we got in a cab and then I brought him to a cheap hotel, I paid the hotel but I asked him to fill out the information sheet. Then when we were inside the hotel, I went to the shower but i brought all my stuff inside as I was afraid he might be a robber. He said that he didn’t want to get a shower so he was just waiting on the bed. And then when finally we were on the bed, he said that I can now start to give him a bj, but I said I want him to do it for me as well, but he said no, so I said then if he doesn’t want then i don’t want to, and then he said what are we now supposed to do, I said we can leave the place, and thats when he got mad and started shouting, that I should at least pay him. I was stunned and shocked, this was the first time that it happened to, and he started to threaten me that he will call the police and the media so that we will be exposed, and he said he’s not afraid to get to jail with me. Then I started pleading and asking what does he want, he said pay him, so I give the money I have on my wallet and it was just only 500, and then he started shouting that that was not his price. He said that I should pay him 5,000-10,000, and I was really shocked. I said I could give him my watch if he wants and he said no. I tried to negotiate with no avail, so I said ok, we can call the police and I don’t care what my family will say (but that was just to try to make him change his mind). Unfortunately, it didn’t change his mind, so i ended up call the reception and ask to send a guard at our room. Two guards came in and asked why, the guy told them to call the police. And so I started panicking, and I said wait, then I closed the door and tried to negotiate again, and then i said we can go to the atm so i can withdraw money, at first he doesn’t want, he said lets just call the police, and then I pleaded and i said promise I will pay him. And then we went to the nearby bank, and so an atm, and luckily with a guard (although it was already late at night), and then he asked to give him my cellphone, its an iphone4s, and then i said no, he just said he will return it to me when I give him the money. So I withdrew 5, 000, and then I asked for my phone, but he became angry again and said that he needs 10,000, so I went again to the atm machine to withdraw another 5,000, so when I about to hand him the money I asked for my phone, he didn’t want to give the phone back so I said i wont give the money if he wouldn’t give me my phone back, and so he gave me my phone and handed the 10,000 cash, but then he asked that I need to give him 3,000 more, and that’s when I started to get angry as well. I went to the security guard, who doesn’t seem to care at all and told him that i was being robbed, and then the guy started to yell at me and said no, and told the guard that i didn’t pay him for the service that he provided to me, that we had sex in this hotel. But i was firm and said to the guard to call the police as I was being robbed, the guard gave me the number of the police and started to give it a shot, and the guy started to run. Thats what happened to me, I learned a lot from this mistake and I promise to myself that it won’t happen anymore. Until now, I am still sad about what happened and afraid to run into him next time. I feel like not going to mall again. 🙁

Mr.Q,
First of all, your coming out to your family sucks. This is not how you reveal your sexual preference to your family. This is your choice and your choise blew it off.
The only thing that you can do is to prove to yourself that you deserve to be a responsible gay. Huwag na lang sa sister mo or brother but to yourself.

Q, this was a very frustrating and traumatic experience for you, same with Joshua, how can a person with an evil plan in mind still cum at sa mouth mo pa Q sana man lang kinagat mo para nasaktan at nakabawi ka, sarap sanang mahuli ito at pitikin natin ang s….m n’ya hanggang sa maging century egg, anybody out there that can do something about this hustler to stop his evil works or else he will victimize our comrades all over and over again at this guy might become rich in the future kasama ang mga ‘nyetang police na iyan. Plz somebody who knows the law or has connections with law? this people needs to be punished or else they will not going to stop unless they’re being caught and pay for what they did. Migs, do you know anybody who can help Q and Joshua to get even with this guys and to some other victims in the past? ingat mga kapatid, this was scary and hope all lessons had been learned. God Bless!!!

A lot of people have similar experiences like you. People who are afraid to be outed, had to pay to enjoy sex in life. But dont let this experience hinder you to grow. I know its very traumatic but life has to move on

Its sad that ur sis and bro had to know it this way. But everything happens for a reason. Maybe this will teach you to choose the people you talk to.

We are in the same boat. We have a lot (and I mean A LOT) of things in common.

Im also overweight
I usually make stambay at SM North Edsa
I have chinese features (bec Im chinese)
I can totally relate to your story of having problems hooking up with guys.

But there r other ways (safer ways) to find a partner than going to the mall and hooking up with total strangers!

If u happen to read this posting of mine, feel free to email me fatboyslimden@yahoo.com so we can talk. You need someone to get over this trauma that happened to you. I might be someone whom u can talked to!

I’m a law student and there is NOTHING in our Revised Penal COde that punishes a male who pays another male to have sex. The definition of a prostitute in our laws is a WOMAN who gets paid (in money or otherwise) for sex. Unless you has sex with a minor, technically you committed no crime!

Next time sister, threaten them that you have a lawyer. Before the police arrests you, you should be INFORMED of your rights. If they don’t do that they are criminally and administratively liable.

how stupid are you guys? to give these boys such big amounts??
if he agreed with 400 why the hell do you give them then about 20000?? strange to me.
if he is making a scene maybe give a tip 600 or 800 all it all. but please not more.
they will do it again and again otherwise, if they see that it is so easy…

Ngayon ko lang to nabasa, “It” happened to me last night. Almost same scenario. I was walking in SM North, eye contacted with this guy, asked me if gusto ko daw gumimik, and eventualy went to this hotel in Caloocan. Is this the motel kung saan may police post sa driveway nung motel? If it is, dun na nga.

Q, I admire you for your courage. Trust me 10 years from now, you will be DEMANDING. YOU EXPECT NOTHING BUT THE BEST and YOU WILL TELL YOUR CALL-BOYS TO SATISFY YOU otherwise, you will have them brought to the STATION. You are young. You are expected to be reckless. But God Bless you for sparing you from further danger. Trust me honey, you will empower yourself. Give yourself time. It will come! (Been there done that, I’m 33)

the best way to get boys is really to hang out with the right gay friends… yung mga magnet ng mga rent boys. i just thought there was no need to pick up strangers in malls anymore since uso naman ang networking ngayon…

but anyways, come to think about it, my current boyfriend, na meet ko sya habang naglalakad sa daan, pinick up, gay rin pala and so it was a nice pick up ng stranger…

tnx for the story q. and tnx for the other comments.. i learned a lot.. i mean, i havent done anything, i havent swallowed c*cks or somethin like that and after hearing this story, i dont think i will ever want to..

It sucks what happened dude.. I wanna say “you had it coming” but that would be mean.. so ill hold my tongue..
but dude.. its almost like you were .. you dint have your phone and you still went to a strange motel with a stranger.. not just any stranger BUT a male hustler.

A dsiffrent matter all together.. you allowed this guy ( again the MALE HUSTLER- a prostuitute) to shoot in your mouth.. Dude.. have you got a death wish? you looking to get mugged, get HIV or both?

Being GAY is a wonderful thing.. it really could be gay.. but only if youre smart about it.. If you keep thinking with your dick.. then thats a diff story..
I know someone whos 37 na.. but everytime I see him (like once in every 6 mos or so) he walways has a horror story.. kesyo na MUG ng callboy.. na nakawan ng cell phone.. and the like..

It sucks what happened.. but dude.. LEARN from it.. its a cliche pero damn.. there are lotsa liars and generally bad ppl out there.. and these guys can spot a target a mile away/. so dont get spotted. thats all.

Q…first of all tnx for sharing this to us…i’m really scared when reading ur story…anyway lesson learned do not do something like this after a negative incident(LOST OF UR CELL FONE)…just charge it to experience and be happy remember this is not the most tragic situation that can happen to anybody of us…so to all of us be careful…AJA AJA FIGHTING….

looking at the silver lining, at least di ka sinaktan physically. emotionally naman, just charge it to experience. the best thing i see in the experience, is that di mo na pro-problemahin ang pag-out mo sa iyong mga kapatid. have the patience for your kapatid to let it sink in.

All of you out there — please be careful. If you think you are immune to stuff like this, think again. I didn’t think it could happen to me and boy was I proven wrong.

I’d been routinely picking up guys at Quezon Memorial Circle. I’d been doing this for years and totally felt safe. The drill was I’d pick up, drive to a hotel, take care of business, check out, and even drop off the guy back at the Cicle again. (Yes I was that nice.)

That is, until the time I picked up this young cute guy a few months ago. I pulled over and went thru the usual questions (magakano ka etc), and he got in my car. I hadn’t even driven a few meters when all of a sudden i look at my rear view mirror and see a police car tailing me with sirens blaring. I was totally horrified. As soon as I pulled over the guy got off my car and ran. The cop got me to get off my car and started to “arrest” me by asking for my drivers license and everything. He asked me for “bail,” and gave an exorbitant amount. After some negotiation he settled on P20,000 which luckily I had in my ATM account. I had to drive to the nearest ATM with the cop riding on the passenger seat of my car. Soon as I gave him the money, he made me sign some makeshift disclaimer he had scribbled into his little notebook. I gladly signed it of course. I just wanted to get the hell out of there. I shudder to think at what might have happened if I didn’t have the money to bail myself out. To this day, only I know about this incident and I will probably take it to my grave.

Guys, I’m telling you, it’s not worth it. I was lucky. Some of you might not be lucky if it happens to you.

Feeling ko lang magkasabwat yung cop and the prostitute. But whatever the case, I’m just glad I escaped unscathed. Pera lang yon, I can earn that P20k back easily. I kept my dignity and that’s what’s important!

Q. just be careful the next time… kanya kanyang trip talaga ng pagpaparaos… i remember the few times that my OFW-friend wanted to hook up w a callboy, apat kaming kasama niya sa may PWU (never mind na siksikan kami sa car on the way home).. the brighter side now that you are out is you can go ‘mainstream’ hooking up – friends, acquaintances, referrals, online.. but sad to say a great majority of the guys trying to hook up online are specific with shape, looks, weight and demeanor…

true.. if you can afford to pay for a callboy… sa massage parlor ka na lang pumunta.. its a tad safer.

it’s a sad thing what happened to you. Anyway, move on ka lang. Life goes on. Next time alam mo na gagawin mo.

Pero sana naman next time use common sense and intuition. Sometimes kasi you can feel it if it isn’t right or something is wrong with the situation you are in, then prepare to back down and not proceed.

That was terrible Q. I’m deeply sorry but at the same time i was pleased that you shared your story to all of us. I hope each and everyone of us can learn something about it. And to those police and prostitutes the hell with you lot! I’m sorry but i cannot believe that this things are really happening. My advice would be…. just go to massage centers or bath houses.

I’m sorry to hear about your story, Q. I empathize with you. A lot has been said, good and bad advice (mostly good). Q, you’re smart enough to know which advice to take 🙂 With regards to your brother, he will mellow down, given some time. My brother was furious when I was suddenly outed (it’s a whole post altogether.

For the rest of the guys, if something like this should happen, it’s important to have presence of mind. I believe Danton Remoto wrote something in his column about an incident like this.

First and foremost, keep your head on straight. Panicking will get you nowhere. Look around, assess your situation, and assess your surroundings. Get names. Identify people involved in the situation. If they believe they can intimidate you, they will. Unahan lang yan sa gulat.

Second, keep the following in mind:
1. it’s his word against yours. tell him to press charges. with any charge, the burden of proof is on him. How in the world can anyone prove that they were given a blow job?
2. extortion is a crime. you can file that against both of them. get the name of the police man and tell him proper action will be taken

Third, name drop like hell. Pretend that you know so-and-so. Call a friend on the landline and ask for the number of Tito or Tita so-and-so (who can pass for a relative of yours).

We should be brave enough against people like these because it can happen to anyone with any given situation.

Q *hugs* You know who I am (and that I’m really not supposed to be here, because I’m not a guy XD).

I really wish I could’ve been there for you. (Although I know wala akong matutulong in way of finance, LOL — alam mo naman ako, laging walang pera.)

That was a really sucky way of coming out to your siblings, and I understand that your brother is probably hurt and confused about it. Give him time and space, and LOTS of those, and he’ll understand you as well and where you stand in all this. At least hindi ka tinaboy ng sister mo.

Looks like you’ve got a lot of supporters, Q. Keep your head up and be the proud bastard you’ve always been. XDDDDDD

hehehe. Natruncate ung message ko nung una. kaya, heto, im typing again. Josh, Im not from UP 😛 Although most of my friends go there, trinaydor ko sila because Im flying blue. Gay blogger in the closet, Danton Remoto was my teacher. I had his number sa phone ko, pero Im not out sa school. Since nawala nga ang phone ko, sobrang limited lang ung options ko on who to contact then. To the guy who said na delikado sa NBI clearance, pinablotter talaga namin yun in case he runs after us, para ipakita namin that that jeffry guy is extorting na. If i remember ryt, Jeffry said pa na kinuha ko daw “puri” niya wtf. Yung isang policeman kept repeating it pa. I really wanted to say na if i was just 1 year younger, statutory rape na laban sa kanya, no matter what I do. And definitely, we had no ass action/forking, so what “puri” yung sinasabi niya? to yellow shirt shredded: yep, i heard about the order of st aeldred, I watched a thesis-film about it. Thanks a lot talaga for all the comments and helpful suggestions, I hope na wala na talagang mabibiktima ng guy na to and I hope he rots wherever he is,
Q.

i think that call boys will always be part of gay life. Q had his reasons for resorting to paid men and i’m sure a lot of closeted gay men share some of the reasons.
(closeted nga eh, mas delikado pumunta sa bar or bath house–baka may kakilala)

mas mahirap naman pilitin sila mag-out…

what to do?

whether out or not, keep an advocacy group’s number fro reasons stated above.

learn to read if its an extortion plan or not, if it is, hold your ground, usually they thrive on our fears–fear of eskandalo, fear of being outted, fear of trouble , etc.. a closeted friend of a friend got caught in a bar, he told the police that he didnt have any money kasi mahina ang kita ng parlor, they let him go. show fear and they will eat you alive. be confident, know your rights and lok as if you’re ready to fight it out.

and before you even think of sucking cock:
EXPECT THE WORST
a lot of stuff happens to us gay men, simply because of what society thinks of us, mahina, mapera, madaling maloko ng titi. so before anything happens, play out the scene in your mind, ask yourself what will you do in the worst circumstances you can imagine, so you’d be prepared if ever you should find yourself in a situation.

â€œI am 18 years old, studying at one of the top universities in the Phils, chinese features, and not that attractive (except to chasers) coz Iâ€™m overweight. As such, the only sexual release with other males I usually get is either through chasers or through prostitutes.â€

Thatâ€™s how I view myself for the longest time. Maybe because Iâ€™ve been rejected so many times by people who are shallow enough to judge me only by my looks. You have to look and act a certain way in order to be even considered â€œlikeableâ€. And it took me a lot of heartaches to disprove my thinking that it is easy to be loved and accepted by â€œpeople like usâ€. I also resorted to hiring prostitutes and cruising for sex when I was younger. Though, I admit that lust plays a major factor in those elicit activities, I also realized that my low self esteem lures me to these compromising situations. Sa mga lalaking bayaran – walang judgments, walang rejections, wala silang pakialam sa itsura mo – basta may pera ka, they can pretend to like you. I was lucky enough na wala akong experience na kagaya ng sa iyo, but my first time was also a disaster. Ninakawan rin ako ng 3,000 cash sa wallet ko. But that didnâ€™t stop me, at times na down na down ako at depressed, balik pa rin ako sa ganitong gawain. Now that I am much older, na deal ko na rin ang mga insecurities sa life ko. I am now more focused in improving myself, not for the reason , but to feel good about myself.

To Q, thanks for sharing your story. Just keep in mind that you canâ€™t find good and meaningful relationships in the wrong places. Find pleasure in your relationships with your friends and family; these are the people that really matter in your life. I really hope you can recover from this experience. I also pray na maayos mo ang relationship mo with your siblings. I guess sa sis mo, di ka masyadong mahihirapan. Ganyan naman talaga eh, it is our mothers and sisters who can easily accept na gay tayo. Sa brother mo naman, just give him time. Just show him na ang sexuality mo ay walang kinalaman sa pagiging magkapatid nyo and earn his trust again by proving that no such incident will happen again. At pag hindi ka pa rin ka nya ma accept, pabaya-an mo na lang sya, buhos mo na lang energy and time mo sa mga tao who can accept and love you for who you really are.

Sa mga readers, I know one way or another we have rejected persons solely by the way they look, sana next time bago natin gawin ito, mag-isip muna tayo. Parati nating pinagsisigawan that gays are being discriminated by the â€œstraightâ€ society but come to think of it, tayo ang pinaka harsh sa sarili at sa mga ka uri natin.

God! Is this happening? Sisters, let’s be careful always to what ever ventures we are in to. This is shocking! I’m glad that ok ang mga guys dito sa neighorhood ko. I get them for free at sometimes, nagbabayad ako ng “bente” hehehehehhe…. pangsigarilyo lang ng mga keke.

I can’t imagine the depressing story! It’s so hard to lose a cellphone and to be brought to the precint with that stupid moron keke would be terrifying!

It seems that it is more on the modus operandi! Mag-ingat nalang tau next time…Kilatisin muna yung mga keke before the fun! I suggest magdala ng papel at least something to sign in with both parties. It’s funny, but at least, may hold tayo if magreklamo yung mga keke!

-sabi ng mga kaibigan ko, ok daw ang mga boys sa marikina. as in pakainin mo lang, bigyan ng a few hundred, magpapa-bottom pa. and no problems with the police. i think the fact that pink is the color of marikina has something to do with it =)

-put the phone number of a gay advocacy group on your phone. danton remoto has been known to rush to police stations spouting legalese, and getting mistaken for a lawyer. he, or someone like him, could have done the same for you.

-finally, try to save some “f— you” money. maybe your family will eventually accept your sexuality. but just in case they don’t or it takes a very long time, it would be good if you could safely strike out on your own and say “f— you!”

OK lang yun, Q. It may be a bitter pill to swallow, but you have no alternative but to be careful next time around. Ang pera madaling kitain. Don’t cry over it. Just try to mend your relationship with your siblings.

My best friend always kid me to stop walking on the wild side but being the most hard headed (in the non prurient sense) that I am, I thought of taking a left turn again, this time at Leon Guinto Street, behind Philippine Women’s University.

I tried several bath houses already but they’re all the same…what I mean is I came to a point wherein the gay guys clad in white towel and their flecks are illuminated against the blue light suddenly became another mundane image. I just got sick and tired of it. So I went outside and picked a guy on the street.

We agreed to do it in a motel. I asked him if it’s alright with him if I give him 400 bucks and he was okay with it so off we went. He wasn’t a looker. He wasn’t my type either. I just wanted to release my libido that night.

So we did it for an hour. I asked him to do several things (no pun intended), which I wouldn’t dare consign on this posting. I gave him 400 bucks but he turned into incredible hulk and was asking for P2,500.

His eyes were not as calm as I thought it was. He kept repeating, P2,500 like it was his mantra. At that moment, there were several things going inside my head, I can give him 400 bucks, run, probably get killed. Or, give him what he asks for and still get killed. He wasn’t armed but I didn’t want to get hurt.

Stupidity is not an excuse. I told him that I don’t have money and that we have to withdraw. As we speak, my guy friend is still fuming mad at me for what I did. “What if he robs you and wants more money since you’re withdrawing money, anyway?”

So we took a cab and looked for an ATM machine. He was uttering some words that seemed like another language from another distant planet. But I was able to send text messages. He didn’t mind. I sent several text message to my friend living nearby, “Help. Trouble. Go down.” But no answer. I tried calling but to no avail.

We stopped at the nearest ATM. I don’t have a choice, do I? So I chose, P2,000. The crisp 500 peso bills felt good on my palms. I should spent them on far better things like a good dinner or a nice pair of rubber shoes. Stupidity is not an excuse. A body in need of caress and touch is not an excuse either. I gave the money and he left.

Under the pouring rain, I was short changed, robbed, and almost got killed. So I hope this will serve as a lesson to everyone out there. Just be careful of male whores on the street, even those working in bars.

You REALLY, REALLY have to be careful these days. People will do anything, ANYTHING for money! Here’s what happened to my friends, hope you can learn some things here:

1. DON’T ENTERTAIN STRANGERS IN DARK PLACES

My friend was walking one evening somewhere in the University Belt area, it was already dark, and this guy suddenly came up to him and walked with him. My friend found him seemingly friendly and they started talking. They took a jeep home, well, he already new the guy wanted some fun, and when after they did it, the guy suddenly started shouting things like “bayaran mo ako ng ganitong halaga, binaboy mo ako, grabe yung ginawa mo sa akin!!!” This really surprised my friend apart from shocking and scaring him, since they already agreed to have sex. And my poor friend had no choice since the guy was already threatening him.

2. BE CAREFUL WITH GUYS IN MALLS

I have another friend who has met guys in malls. Most of the experiences were okay, but there was one really bad one. He was in this mall somewhere in Ortigas when this slim moreno guy gave him the look. My friend failed to scrutinize na from the get up alone, the guy was a real rentboy. They went home, and then lo and behold, the guy demanded a big amount also and threatened even to go to the barangay hall nearby. My friend had to give in… right in the privacy of his own home. What my friend realized was that he should have taken a look at the guy well enough–slim and thin, moreno, and deep eyes, possible signs of drug addiction. My friend has learned his lesson.

3. CRUISING IS DANGEROUS

To cut the long story short, a friend of a friend decided to cruise somewhere near Robinsons Galleria. Even if he had a car, he allowed two people in… and before he knew it, he was being held up.

Be careful guys, learn from the experiences of others. If you don’t feel comfortable about something, don’t do it. It’s better to avoid it now than to regret it later on.

Ouch! Tragic! Advice lang, just in case he’d be interested in picking up male prostis (I doubt his name is even Jeffry Santos, and you shouldn’t have used your real name either at the blotter…paano na lang ang NBI clearance?).

* Or better yet, kuha ka na lang ng mga tambay sa parlor. The parlorista are your best reference when it comes to hooking up with payable men.

I also got a pretty bad experience with the first male prosti I hired (for my birthday, not in SM North though). He made an “OK” sign which I thought meant “P300”, pero pagdating namin sa motel P500 ang hiningi, and then when we were foreplaying P1000 na. I was so pissed, I didn’t even play with much gusto (he was even calling his “ex” through his cellphone while I’m dealing with his limp 3-inch willy). I just let him release me, pay him with a blue bill, didn’t talk to him while we were walking out of the motel. Oh the horror…

*****

At the same time, nalungkot ako about how you came out with your family. I don’t think you would ever patch up things with your Kuya, but at least be civil and cordial about it.

Dear Q,
I am so sorry about your coming out this way. Its too bad you’re isolated and you went out to get contact with someone only to be done in by the police.
HOnestly, the police are simply part of the scam.

But besides thatI hope you make friends here.

A lot can happen and somebody has to watch your back. I don’t mean to be funny, just practical. My friends that I met in this gay choir I have did that for each other. I had only bought the services of this one guy after a friend ( rather a group of friends ) found out he was straight up and up and yes very clean.

Have a support group Q.

It might mean life and death for people like us. And I mean life and death the one where sometimes people get killed or kill themselves.

I used to go to the old shaw manuela often when I got depressed because the guys I wanted, could not be had. But if its affection and understanding you’re looking for the comfort rooms and the malls are the worst place to go.

We’re here, we’re queer. have you tried contacting the Order of St Aeldred? They have a gay men’s support group, and yes legal function as well. I’d give the number to migs then you can get it from him. The address though is near V. Luna.

Please talk to us or someone. Don’t let it get you down. Enough men have done that and died. (It might seem dramatic to you but statistics and my experiences add up, people like us go into drugs, commit suicide and yes do self destructive things because of the isolation).

Q, a terrible thing happened to you and we are all very sorry that it did. A few things you must remember:

1) You will get over this. You sound like an intelligent boy who had a lapse in judgement. You are young and permitted these mistakes to learn from. Dwell on the lesson and not the deed.

2) These things happen more often than you might imagine. And while our cumulative wisdom has yet to set into our ranks, there is comfort in knowing others have experienced this horror and have moved on to better things. I have, and I am sure you will too. Take comfort in numbers.

3) Your siblings are understandable in their fit of upsetness. Their disappointment will pass, or if they refuse to acknowledge your lifestyle then you will have to be the bigger man to prove to them that you are worthy of respect. Do well in school, and show them one mistake is not what you’re made of alone.

4) Be glad that you have good friends you can trust and call on. In the next few days, she will remind you of the ordeal, but in a few weeks, you will grow even closer. Friends like these you do not let go off–and that is a treasure in itself.

5) You are angry now and upset: at your siblings, the policemen, that scum-of-the-earth prostitute. By sharing your story, you have begun diluting the poison in your system. Right now, WE are all angry at the guy too. We share the burden of your horror. Which is why collectively, we can wish the worst for the guy. Tonight, everybody will say a little fervent hope that the asshole get his just retribution. Vengeance is reckless and unnecessary; but a little ill-will-wishing for someone who has done you wrong, is allowable and much healthier in the long run.

6) You are probably angry at yourself too. Go ahead and feel down for the next few days. Chain-smoke. Drink Scotch. Cry every night. Eventually the drama gets tedious and you will quit over-flagellating yourself. God forgives the sorry. Really.

7) And finally…trust that you will be able to grow from the experience. It’s really cheesy, I know…but the cliche is true. One of these days you will wake up and this thing will have blown over. You will have the verve to enjoy life again. You will have sex again, but this time in a smarter way and on your terms.

That day will happen…because the miracle of new chances happens again and again. And if it can happen to me, believe me, Q, it will happen to you too.

Can someone who works in the news media (like ABS-CBN or GMA) conduct an entrapment for this Jeffrey Santos (a pseudonym most likely; ano siya, older brother ni Juday?!) para matigil na ang kahunghangan niya? Also, this is why it is best to NEVER pick up strangers. And it is a lot safer if you just go to reputable massage parlors (those of long-standing repute) and bathhouses. At least kung may manggagosa iyo, puwede mong isumbong sa hindi pulis.

this reminds me of something that happened to my friend a few years back, pero hindi sa callboy kundi someone he met sa chat. They met up, flirted with each other, went driving around and ended up making out sa parking lot across CCP. Nahuli ng pulis with his pants down, kinulong sa presinto sa tabi ng CCP and was asked by the police to pay 30,000 or else a case will be filed against them, indecent exposure ata. Eh yung friend ko hindi out, so he ended up haggling with the police, and paid 15,000 and his chatmate paid 5,000.

I’m thinking of conducting an entrapment operation on this guy. If only I had contacts and connections with the authorities and the media. If someone out there who has the connections and the guts to make this guy suffer, please do so. I’m sure he already has had lots of victims, and I’m sure there’ll be more if we don’t do anything…

I so want to have this guy put behind bars. This is very appalling. Napamura ako while reading.

oh Q, you poor little thing. i do hope and pray that you find the strength to see the silver lining in all of this. i’m 100% sure that you’ll move on from this situation stronger, wiser, and still open to find love…in the right places, of course.

and by the way, don’t allow this brouhaha to prevent you from smiling. try to keep an upbeat, positive attitude. it may feel silly at first but trust me, it’ll help in the long run. 😀

This is what I’ve been telling my gay friends…never hire call boys. If you really can’t control your sexual urge, you can just get someone from a gay bar, provided that call boy is recommended by his manager or bar owner. It’s really risky to hire a male prostitute outside gay bars.

Another dangerous spot is the Philippine Women’s University area at night (along Taft Avenue). A lot of male for hire roam the area and my friend was almost killed because the call boy initially asked for P400 then after the sex, he turned into a psycho and was asking for P10,000.

Huwag sana matigas ang ulo ng iba. Why get a call boy when you can get someone whom you can make love without worrying about anything? Yes, it would take a lot of time and patience but waiting for that right person is really worth it than hiring a psycho call boy who will just destroy your life or worse.

May ibang parte na magulo dun sa kwento ni Q, typo maybe or some things left out kakamadali, I don’t know. But I definitely get the gist of the story. Nakakatakot talaga. Thank you for sharing it with us, Q.

Tungkol sa pamilya mo, eventually matatanggap ka rin ng mga yan. The important thing now is that you ‘pick up the pieces’ of yourself again. Bagong simula. You can do it. You are one brave guy, Q.

Q, pre, so sorry you have to go through this most unfortunate event in your life… and thnx ga million for sharing this story. Madalas pa naman ako punta sm north na yan, not to seek pleasure (still em virgin to those stuff…) just to buy mags. Actually when i go to sm, i dont make eye contact to any person. once im done buying the mags, split na me.

Got 2 share a similar unfortunate incident that happend to a friend of mine. He also sought manly pleasure and hired a pick-up kid (parang teenager tignan eh) and they did it sa camelot yata. Then they were chasing and he was harassed by policemen until they ended up in AFP hospital in camias. He was apprehended and was thrown in prison in the police station near magsaysay high schl accross nepa Q. Gud thing my friend has enough money to settle for the gogo boy & the policemen. I helped get out from jail by going to hall of justice in QC and get his release papers. And since it was a weekend, monday pa naka eskapo my friend. the medico legal of the gigolo boy resulted in laceration of the anus (which my friend wasnt able to deny). The boy said that he was touchedyata beyond his will. may companion nga pala this boy, in his twenties (i think his manager-lover). But just looking at the kid and his attaire, mukha sya talagang pokpok na lalaki!!! the police just gave all this threat and my friend just tiped all of them (malaking scam to talaga). to make thinsg worst,may media pang dumating (mgaw tabloids) so my friends face and story, a gay rapist, was all over the tabloids…

This thing happened to me also but in a different situation. I was driving a car in Malate when a male prostitue approached my car and asked if he’s ok for me. I said yes and had him rode my car. when i started the engine and begun driving, a police mobile immediately approached us and a policeman entered my car and told me that i will be imprisoned and media is waiting in the station. he said that bail will be P15000. i panicked and negoatiated for whatever i have which included 10k, my cellphone and my precious watch (i’m not yet out). This is the first and only time (prostitute in the street) i did this thing and it ended up badly. I learned my lesson and i will not do this again in my life.

i’ve met the guy at sm north. i had no plans to go with him wherever it was he excitedly suggested to go. he gives off a weird fell. yes he gave the same lines, but i felt bad about the whole thing. yes he was bragging na “ang laki laki nito”. yes he was in a hurry. yes, he mentioned abt his tita waiting. he’s moreno, slanted eyes, on the tall side. not your handsome type, but he does succeed in looking very “hayok”. so beware sisters.