Is my toddler driving me to drink?

Who longs for a glass of wine at the end of the day? It’s a fact that us Mums we drink. There are times after a day with the toddler when I need a glass of wine in the middle of the afternoon, or during bath time. Does that sound bad? So why do we do it? Why do we drink? I know, there are so many reasons, and here are 10 about why my toddler is driving me to drink wine (a lot of wine). Sit tight.

The tantrum. Now that we have reached the crazy terrible twos stage there are tantrums happening left, right and centre. They take me by surprise, and often happen after a brief spell of calm and playing nicely.

Not eating or demanding biscuits. Having spent hours slaving away over a hot stove, or planning meticulously what my child will eat for the week, she doesn’t eat or want her dinner. All that she wants is a biscuit or a bowl of porridge.

Sleeping. This can be a double edged sword. You drink because you’ve had a rubbish night and consequently a rubbish day. But if you drink you’re then up early or during the night with a slightly tinged hangover. We can’t win here!

Getting into the buggy. I’ve lost count of the number of times I tried to get a banana-ing child into a buggy, which has often resorted in the pinning technique. Sometimes this can take 5 minutes, or you give up, by which point I’m cursing everything and feeling slightly embarrassed.

Hating the car. Every single car journey our toddler hates, or she is sick. It’s tough on her, but it’s also tough on us. Our car seat cover has been washed so many times that the safety warning has faded, and I hate finishing every car journey smelling like eau-de-sick. Wine should be on the cards after reaching every destination.

Messing up the house. This drives me mad. I tidy a room, only for it to be pulled apart the next minute. I think I must put each room back together at least 5 times every day. I need to be more relaxed about this, and tidy up at the end of the day, with a glass of wine in hand.

Rice Krispies on the floor (again). Every single day this happens. In fact I’m going to stop giving our toddler Rice Krispies. I’m fed up with the entire bowl being scattered or launched across the kitchen, and then spending hours picking them out of the radiator.

Books. Don’t get me started on these. It’s so frustrating and makes my internal OCD rage. We have many pop-up and lift flap books, only now they are just normal books. Why do toddlers have a necessity to rip all the pop-up and lift flap parts out of a book, and rip them to shreads? I feel like they are going through a destructing stage at 2, don’t you?

Pinching, scratching and biting. After a full day of this and being under attack, I don’t blame you for wanting a glass of wine, to numb the pain of your war wounds. Trust me, there is nothing worse than being scratched on the lip to make it bleed and it then becoming a cold sore.

Lastly, the constant demands. Demands to be outside. Demands for more. Demands for a biscuit. Demands for milk. Demands to be picked up. After an hour this is all very draining. And, after a full day of this, I don’t blame anyone for wanting a glass of wine.

If you’re experiencing all of these, or just a few, and you have battled through the day, either winning or losing, remember that there is always wine. I hope you’re reading this with a glass in your hand (or a bottle), and your toddler is asleep. Phew!