Weekend Watch List: Vancouver Games, Rehab and Laughs

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Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things this weekend that may possibly be worth breaking out of the halfway house for. LET’S GO!

WINTER OLYMPICS OPENING CEREMONIES – 7:30PM Tonight (NBC)

The last time the Olympics were here, it was 2008, and the Beijing Summer Games announced to the world China’s final ascent to global economic and cultural superpower. The Beijing Opening Ceremonies demonstrated to billions of people that China’s period of isolationism is over, and that they are now ready, after centuries in self-exile, to assume the world stage. This year’s Winter Olympics are in Vancouver, and they will be a stage to show the world that Canada is… uh… still doing just super. I know a lot of cynics out there, like me, like to goof on the Olympics. But let’s be honest, these things are a lifesaver. They come during the absolute deadest time of the sports calendar, during the crummiest months of the year. This will get us through until March Madness. ANTICIPATION: GOLD.

CELEBRITY REHAB WITH DR. DREW – 8PM tonight (VH1)

Gary Busey is one of the patients this season. And thank goodness for him. If you ever feel like YOU have a substance abuse problem, just take a look at Gary Busey. You aren’t the bottom of the barrel, dear reader. Isn’t that nice to know? By the way, even if Gary Busey is cured of substance abuse, I don’t quite know how you cure his, you know, unbridled lunacy. ANTICIPATION: BUZZING WITH EXCITEMENT

Homer makes the Olympics, in a tie-in that makes little sense given that the Olympic rights are not owned by FOX. But hey, who am I to quibble? ANTICIPATION: BEST. 254TH SEASON EPISODE. EVER?

CASABLANCA - 8PM Sunday(TCM)

It’s the greatest movie ever, and not just because a bunch of film snobs love studying the composition and stuff. No, it’s legitimately the most entertaining movie ever made. The plot is interesting. The dialogue is perfect. Disagree. Well, frankly my dear, I don’t give a DAMN! Ha ha ha! Wait. That’s from another film, isn’t it? Oops. ANTICIPATION: INSIDES KICKED OUT