[62v°] boat approach Carmel’s shore, and she was resigned to remain on the stormy sea of the world as long as God willed it. She was sure that she too would approach the same shore which was the object of her desires.

Sunday, November 20, after dressing up according to Vatican [5] regulations, i.e., in black with a lace mantilla as headpiece, and decorated with a large medal of Leo XIII, tied with a blue and white ribbon, we entered the Vatican through the Sovereign Pontiff’s chapel. At eight o’clock in the morning our emotion was profound when we saw him enter to celebrate Holy Mass. After blessing the numerous pilgrims [10] gathered round him, he climbed the steps of the altar and showed us through his piety, worthy of the Vicar of Jesus, that he was truly “the Holy Father.” My heart beat strongly and my prayers were fervent when Jesus descended into the hands of His Pontiff. However, I was filled with confidence, for the Gospel of the day contained these beautiful words: “Fear not, little [15] flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” No, I did not fear, I hoped the kingdom of Carmel would soon belong to me; I was not thinking then of those other words of Jesus: “And I appoint to you a kingdom even as my Father has appointed to me…” In other words, I reserve crosses and trials for you, and it is thus you will be worthy of possessing this kingdom after [20] which you long; since it was necessary that the Christ suffer and that He enter through it into His glory, if you desire to have a place by His side, then drink the chalice He has drunk! This chalice was presented to me by the Holy Father and my tears mingled with the bitter potion I was offered.

After the Mass of thanksgiving, following that of the Holy Father, the audience began. Leo XIII was seated on a large armchair; he was dressed simply