Their is a new guy in training at work who looks almost identical to Damone from Fast Times at Ridgemont High. I am tempted to go ask him for some Earth, Wind and Fire tickets for me and my little brother.

First of all Rat, you never let on how much you like a girl. “Oh, Debbie. Hi.” Two, you always call the shots. “Kiss me. You won’t regret it.” Now three, act like wherever you are, that’s the place to be. “Isn’t this great?” Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It’s a classy move. “Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice.” And five, now this is the most important, Rat. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.

In an attempt to curb bad habits, we have made a swear jar today out of my Green Lantern paint can. You will be charged a quarter per curse word, so it will cost you if you turn our area into a swearea.

What are you supposed to do with the money from the jar when it’s full? Donate it to charity? Buy lunch for people who swore the least? Throw change at people? Go to the arcade?

For some reason, I was quite amused/intrigued by looking up to the TV near my desk and seeing 50 Cent on CNBC’s Power Lunch, to the point where I took a picture of the TV with my phone so I could post this. I guess the man does know how to generate cash flow.

Sometimes when I am using the automatic flushing urinals at work, the flusher goes off while I am still standing there and it makes me wonder if I may have been killed and turned into a ghost on the walk from my desk to the restroom.

There is no better way to start your work day then to walk into your office building and have the Latina cafe attendant blaring Phil Collins’ career-defining masterpiece, In The Air Tonight. Let’s do this!