So you'd rather have 3+ options for the true title of "Alt 1" and "Alt 2" than "City" and "Statement". Okay.
Why bring up the "soul" of a name of a uniform when "soul" has nothing to do with Home/Away/Alt. The "Nikefied" names certainly have purpose and reasoning...your point is invalid.

You're just being salty. It's 5 words. For one, you know what "classic" means. That's pretty straightforward. The rest are just as descriptive as "home" or "away". What about "home" means white? In the NFL it tends to mean dark. What about "away" means anything? Not like everyone wears the same color when away. "Statement"/"icon" is just as descriptive. GET OVER IT.

But in what way is "Association/Icon/Statement/City/Classic" ridiculous? It's just a title for a uniform. You can call it whatever you want to call it but for organizational and marketing purposes Nike had to give the uniforms some sort of title.