Lance Armstrong opens Mellow Johnny's Bike Shop

Two things I don't think of when I think of seven-time Tour De France winner and general oaf-crusher Lance Armstrong: "Mellow" and "Johnny." Of course, he doesn't mean it the way you think — "Mellow Johnny" is his nickname, derived from his habit of nabbing the "maillot jaune," or yellow jersey, when obliterating his competition. It's also the name of his new bike shop, set to open May 10 in Austin, TX.

The shop opens at 7 am, and Grand Opening day will feature special guests, book signings, giveaways, and more. Come and discover a shop for people who ride bikes, want to ride bikes, or just think about bikes. You should really see this place.

All Austin bike lovers, take heed — thy Lord hath opened a house of worship, and he hath requestedeth thy presence. Get thee there by bicycled machine, if thou canst.