AUTHORS' NOTES: This story originated on Monday evening October 23,
1989 after a very long journey from Scotland down to
Salisbury. Lucy & I feeling under the weather (sick as
dogs) went to bed early to rest Unable to sleep
Lucy asked, (while sneezing) tell me a story. And so I
did. It wasn't till one year later when Kris & I
stayed at this same place that I told her the tale of
VALE VIEW.
-Noel

This story started for me very, very late on that
same night Noel & I stayed at Vale View. She kept me
up way past my bedtime so she could relate the tale of
Ray of Vale View and Bodie. (Brewsterfield is one of
my additions.) Anyway, thanks to her depriving me of
sleep, and my interest in the story, you now have the
chance to read it.
-Kris

ENJOY

The last of the art books was carefully packed into
the closest box. The nearly empty room echoed. Ray sat
among the boxes and suitcases. It seemed such a short
time since he'd moved in, unpacking these same
suitcases. Almost a year ago. A year of living on his
own for the first time, of art classes, of meeting
people from all over the country, all over the world.
It was what he'd dreamt of since he'd graduated from
school last year, the class of 1965. Leaving was
difficult but he knew it was the right thing to do.

Ray's father owned a small farm that raised pigs and
corn. Three years ago they had also opened their house
as a bed and breakfast. Ray and his father worked the
farm while his mother, Sheila, did most of the work
required in running the B & B. The money from the B &
B was what allowed Ray to attend university. Then,
five months ago, Ray's father died. Sheila had
insisted Ray stay in school but he knew it wasn't
possible. Alone with the farm and B & B to run, his
mother would have to hire help. There would no longer
be money for school. Ray finished the year, finding a
part time job to cover his expenses. It was only a
temporary measure. He knew his place was at home
helping his mother.

So here he was amid boxes full of the last year of his
life. Soon one of his neighbours would arrive with a
truck to help him move home. He'd met a lot of people
over the last year, some of whom had become good
friends. People he found he had more in common with
than most of his friends from Woodfalls. Few of them
had any ambitions beyond their farm, their families
and what they already knew. It would be difficult to
return and be happy.

The atmosphere in the library was tense. The two
antagonists, aunt and nephew, were on opposite sides
of the well-appointed room. The heat from the fire
did not dispel the inner chill Claire felt. Her nephew
had changed in the two years since she'd left him on
his own to move to France with her new husband, the
Marquis de Villiers.

"Phillip, I just want to know the truth."

"I prefer Bodie, Aunt Claire."

"With three Christian names to choose from, couldn't
you pick one of them."

"No."

"Alright," she knew this wasn't important enough to
argue about. "I'll try to remember. Now, will you tell
me why I'm receiving letters about you. Jeffers seems
concerned that you're running wild with no
supervision, the rumours I've heard do not persuade me
otherwise."

Claire smiled slightly. She knew the girl well enough
to intuit what had happened. If the girl's plan was
thwarted she would be vindictive. "You haven't yet
learned tact," she stated.

"I never promised her anything."

"Bodie, please, sit down." Claire pointed to the chair
beside her. "I wasn't sure about leaving you alone
with only Jeffers as guardian -- no, listen -- I think
you've done very well. Some things just can't be
handled alone."

"She's just getting revenge. She never saw David and I
doing anything."

"What you were or have done or not done with David is
a discussion for another time. Right now we need to
decide the best way to handle this situation."

"So what am I supposed to do?"

"You're old enough to live alone, you need to make
your own decision. I can offer some suggestions."
Claire leaned back in her chair and sipped her brandy.
She watched her nephew carefully. Despite his bravado
she knew he was hurt by the rumours.

"Ok," he finally asked, "What would you suggest?"

"Well, you could prove the rumours false."

"How?"

"Date every girl in the county."

Claire laughed at Bodie's inevitable reaction. He'd
grown up knowing all the girls in the area. Some were
friends, none were a possible romantic interest.

"Or you could close the house and move to school. A
number of your friends board there. Or ask one of your
cousins, your older cousins, to live here with you."

"I don't like my cousins."

"The other option is to come home with me. Your French
is passable. You could take some extra schooling in
French and complete any courses you need to be ready
to start university in France in the fall."

"And live with you?"

"Yes. You would still be free to come and go, but I'd
expect you to live with us, at least at first."

Claire accepted the lack of a negative response as a
good start. "Think about it. We can talk more later if
you like."

Bodie poured himself a very small brandy and sat back
in the large overstuffed chair he preferred. His life
had been growing complicated lately --his parents had
died just over six years ago when he was almost ten.
His divorced aunt had moved into his parents home to
take care of him. The woman and the boy had grown
close over the years. He had been sad when she had
married the Marquis de Villiers and moved to France.
She had tried to convince him to go with her but
Bodie's ties to the family home had been too strong.
He'd been lonely with only the estate staff to act as
guardian, but his time had filled with his friends,
his school, studying and taking care of the estate.

His parents' death had forced him to grow up quickly.
it wasn't until his aunt moved away that he reclaimed
some of that lost childhood. Mindful of his position
and his title his behaviour was never overtly
rebellious. He just learned independence. He also
loosened up, began to learn to live for himself rather
than for others. A large part of this was his
acceptance of his sexual preference. He liked male
companionship better than the company of women. He'd
bedded a woman and enjoyed it but his explorations
with David had been beyond simple enjoyment. Even at
fifteen he knew what he liked and wanted. Now that
preference was beginning to cause problems. He would
have to give up a bit of his freedom if he returned
with his aunt to France but he loved her and respected
her opinion. And she didn't seem disturbed that he
might prefer men. It was the wisest choice. It was
only left to accept Aunt Claire's offer.

His aunt accepted his sexuality, with the reservations
one would expect. He studied French and finished his
schooling with little difficulty. He enjoyed the
challenge. He liked France and the estate of the
Marquis became a second home to him. The only problem
was the Marquis himself. Over the seven months he'd
been in France he'd come to know Christien de Villiers
and didn't much like the man. De Villiers was an
alcoholic who kept secrets from his wife. Bodie was
sure he had a mistress and suspected the man was
involved in illegal activities of some type although
he couldn't prove anything. He protected his aunt as
much as possible but knew it was a temporary safety.
In the fall he would be leaving for university. That
time was only five months away and then she'd be
alone. As excited as he was to be moving to Paris he
was worried, too.

For now he had to be satisfied with watching and
waiting. Perhaps sometime this weekend he'd talk with
the man. He and de Villiers were alone for a few days
while Aunt Claire was staying in Paris shopping. Bodie
was on holiday from school. His formal studies were
done, he could graduate now except that he was staying
for the extra months of French lessons. Conversational
French was not enough to get by in university studies.
For now he was planning on doing some riding before
going to join his aunt for two days in the city. The
Marquis, uninterested in shopping or any other
excitements Paris had to offer had stayed at home.
Tonight his drinking had started hours before dinner.

By the time dinner was over he was reaching total
drunkenness. He was in a state of over-friendly
concern. "Bodie, come have a drink in the parlour,"
the Marquis asked, taking Bodie's arm. Bodie went, it
being easier to go along than protest. The Marquis
poured two large brandies.

"So, I expect you're excited about leaving us this
fall."

"I'm excited about starting university," Bodie
corrected. "I have to decide what to read still."

"Yes. I know your Aunt is proud of you. She wants you
to do well."

"May I go to bed now. I'm going riding early
tomorrow."

"Stay, please. I know we have our differences. I'd
like to be friends at least. For your Aunt." The
Marquis sat on the sofa beside Bodie. He took one of
Bodie's hands in his. "I think we could be good
friends."

Bodie pulled his hand away and got up from the sofa.
The Marquis followed, cornering Bodie at one side of
the room. "Don't walk away from me," he warned. "I
want to be friends." Holding Bodie still, he leaned
over. Bodie could clearly smell the liquor on his
breath, then the wet lips touched his own. He turned
his head and struggled against the greater strength.

"You'll like it boy." One hand rubbed at Bodie's
crotch then grabbed the buttocks and pulled him close.
The Marquis was only slightly taller than Bodie, who
had already reached much of the height he would have
as an adult, but he still outweighed the boy by two
stone. He held the struggling young man, grinding his
groin against Bodie's pelvis. Bodie tried a new
tactic, relaxing slightly. When the Marquis' mouth
approached his own he didn't turn away; he bit the
man's lip then broke and ran to his room. The door was
locked behind him. He stripped, showered and went to
bed, shaking with fear and anger.

The soft click of key in lock didn't waken the young
man. The door was slowly opened, as slowly closed. The
Marquis moved quietly across the room shedding his
robe. He lightly touched Bodie's shoulder. The gentle
contact didn't wake him as the covers were pulled
back. The Marquis indulged, ran his eyes up and down
the nude body lingering on the rounded ass. Then he
climbed into bed, laying half on top of the young man.
At the feel of the intruder Bodie woke. He didn't
immediately realize what was happening. Forcing
himself more fully from sleep he felt the hand
fondling his cock, the semi-erect organ pressed into
his ass.

"Get out of here!" Bodie yelled. "Don't touch me."

"Relax. You'll enjoy this if you relax." The man's
words were slurred and slow. Bodie's initial fear
turned to anger. But the Marquis was bigger, stronger.
Even drunk. Bodie's anger was useless. It would take
cold planning to keep from being raped. It was not
easy. His instincts screamed at him to react. To yell,
to hit, to run. Or conversely to retreat in terror at
the knowledge he could not win. The man pinning him to
the bed was larger, more powerful. And he had the
important attribute of being an adult. A voice in
Bodie's head taunted him -- Adults are to be respected
and obeyed --. The voice brought a measure of
rationality. He'd been on his own too long to
mindlessly accept what an adult said or did simply
because of his age. Calmer, he was able to plan his
escape. He let the Marquis fondle him. He could feel
that the man's cock was still not fully hard. Thanks
to the liquor no doubt.

"I know you like men," the Marquis mumbled into
Bodie's shoulder. Bodie had no idea how the Marquis
knew this; he wouldn't deny it. However this was in no
way what he wanted.

"Relax. I could hurt you if I wanted. I don't want to,
but I am going to have you." The Marquis' weight
lifted slightly and the young man moved. He flipped
onto his back and jerked his knee into the man's
crotch. The angle and force were not enough to do much
damage. It was enough to give Bodie the chance to jump
out of the bed. He grabbed the robe from the floor as
he ran from the room. Noticing the key in the lock he
used it before the Marquis could reach the door. Once
safe outside he pulled the key from the lock and threw
it down the hall. Wrapping the robe around himself he
hid in one of the unused servant's rooms.

The next morning before the servants were awake, Bodie
left his hiding place, packed a large suitcase full of
clothes, put the key to his room where it was sure to
be discovered and left. It took longer than usual to
get in to the city due to the early hour. He spent the
train ride deciding what to say. Or what not to say.

Claire was surprised and pleased to see Bodie. "Why
are you so early? Come in, have breakfast. What
happened to your horseback riding?"

Bodie put his luggage down and sat at the table in the
sitting room. "Aunt Claire, I'm sorry."

"You and Christien argued again."

"Yes. I tried not to. Really. But he wouldn't let me
just go to my room." Bodie held the coffee cup tight,
steadying his hands.

"No, dear, I'm sorry. He isn't easy to get along with
sometimes. I know. It'll be nice to have a few extra
days all to ourselves. We'll straighten things out
when we get home."

For now it seemed easier to agree. Bodie needed time
to relax, time for the fear of last night to fade.
Then he would calmly convince Claire that he should
move to university now rather than wait until the
fall. When she learned how much he wanted this she was
sure to allow it.

Throughout university he dated mostly women. They were
nothing more than expedient, Bodie knew his desire was
fixed on men. it was not so simple to act on the
knowledge, not after de Villiers. The few times he'd
had sex with men had been nothing but sexual release,
nothing more. It had been quick and less than fully
satisfying. One man had shown more than a casual
interest but as soon as that relationship threatened
to become sexual Bodie left. It wasn't until
graduating from university that he became involved
with a man. He had been friendly with Andre in
university. They took some of the same classes but
Bodie had never allowed the friendship to go beyond
that. At the time the other man seemed content with
this. Almost a year after graduating they'd met by
accident, or so Bodie had assumed at the time. They
went out to dinner, talked, and found that they still
had much in common. Bodie was still unsure; Andre's
gentle, patient insistence eroded Bodie's defences. By
the time Andre suggested they go to bed together Bodie
practically insisted.

That had been almost two years ago. Now Bodie wandered
through the streets of Paris, enjoying the spring air,
wasting time until he and Andre were together again.
He was lonely. While he and Andre had never lived
together, seldom spent every day together, their
recent separation had been over a month long. Bodie
had missed his lover. Missed their long talks, their
strolls through the countryside, their lovemaking. He
was hoping to convince Andre to take a holiday with
him. Monte Carlo, or Greece, or San Francisco. Spend
time together. Alone. Away from Andre's family, who
disapproved of Bodie's influence.

It was Andre's family that had kept his lover away for
the past five and a half weeks. They had been trying
to exert their influence for the past year. Ever since
they learned of the affair. Noticing the time on a
nearby clock tower Bodie increased his pace. He had
just enough time to get to the cafe he and Andre
preferred. It was near Andre's flat and not much
further from the flat Bodie kept in the city. For the
next few days he was not going further than the two
flats without Andre.

Andre was not at the cafe so Bodie ordered two
espresso's, a basket of croissants and sat at a table
in the front. Ten minutes later he was beginning to
worry. He watched the sidewalk and finally saw Andre,
walking slowly towards the cafe. The worry increased.
He'd expected his lover to be as excited as he to be
reunited.

"Andre, your espresso's cold. I'll order some more."
Bodie gestured to the waiter.

"Thank you."

Bodie watched Andre closely. Something was troubling
the younger man. Bodie knew Andre would tell him only
when he was ready. So he sipped his espresso and
talked of other things.

"I missed you," he said quietly when the conversation
ran down.

"Bodie, I'm moving out of Paris." For the first time
Andre met Bodie's eyes. "I'm sorry ."

"What d'you mean -- oh, your parents. This is their
fault. What did they do to you? You don't have to--"

"Disappointed!" Bodie only just kept his voice low.
"Maybe we'd better speak English. I must not have
understood you."

"Bodie, I'm not happy either."

"But you're doing it. When?"

"Next week."

Bodie picked up his cup. It was empty. He returned it
to the saucer. "They're not wasting any time," he said
to himself. "Is it worth it? Is she worth it?" Bodie
could see the tears sparkling in Andre's eyes. "You're
a fool, but I suppose you know that. I love you Andre.
And I hate you for this." Pulling together every bit
of dignity and nobility he owned or could simulate,
Bodie got up from the table, put down money for the
food and left. He was three blocks away before the
first tear fell onto his cheek.

Claire wasn't sure whether to cry or scream. Bodie had
given up his flat in Paris and moved back to the
estate. Since the Marquis death, only eleven months
after Bodie had moved to Paris and University, her
nephew had spent almost equal amounts of time there
and at the estate. Now he'd had been home for almost
two months and in that time he'd not left the estate.
He wandered aimlessly, or sat doing nothing, for hours
at a time. He'd told her the reason for his
depression. She'd known of Andre, that had been no
shock. She was, not shocked, but very
concerned when he didn't seem to get over the boy.

She didn't often interfere in Bodie's life. He had
long been too independent for that. It was time to
make an exception. When Bodie went to his room early
as usual, Claire started making calls to some of her
old friends in England.

From the distance of the barn Ray watched the new
guests arrive. A newlywed couple, so his mother had
told him last night. He was both pleased and
disappointed. Pleased because newlyweds were always
good guests. They didn't expect or want much attention
and were always happy. His disappointment was for his
mother's inevitable reaction. Sooner or later she
would wonder aloud when he was going to get married.
The same question she'd been asking for almost eight
years. In the past year or two the question had
changed to 'if'. Ray would give her the same answer
each time. When he found someone to love he'd get
married. To himself he admitted that marriage was
unlikely. He'd never felt the urge to spend his life
with a woman, in general or in particular. Meanwhile
the farm took up most of his time and energy. Anything
left went to helping his mother with the guests or
helping the neighbours with their crops as they would
help him when more than one set of hands was required.

Squealing pigs brought his attention back to his work.
The animals were impatient for their food. He dumped
the grain in the trough and watched for a minute.
Sometimes he had to settle disputes, to make sure
everyone got their fair share. Today all the pigs were
content to eat peaceably. Ray walked down the hill
towards the house, washing up before going in to the
kitchen for his own midday meal.

"Yes, they've gone in to Salisbury forty five minutes
ago. They're so in love. It's a joy to watch."

"Please mum." Ray brought the sandwiches over to the
kitchen table.

"I know sweetheart. I wasn't going to mention you."

"Yes you were," the young man sounded weary rather than
angry. "Go ahead, get it over with."

"I'm only worried. It's not just that you're not
married. If you don't want to marry, well, I'd be
disappointed but it's your life. I worry that you're
alone. You spend all your time working on the farm. We
won't starve if you spend evenings with your friends."

"I'd rather stay in, read. Really mum. Drinking lager
and talking about corn prices and manure isn't what I
want to do of an evening. I'd rather talk with our
guests."

"And girls?"

"I have dates. Susan. Charlotte. Tina."

"I don't need the whole list, dear." she sighed.
"You're twenty five, you'll do just as you like."

Riding on the tractor Ray thought about his mother's
worry. The last three dates had been at his mother's
insistence. Ray hadn't minded. He'd enjoyed the chance
to get out, have some pleasant female company.
Unfortunately the conversation had been less than
exciting. Only one of the three had taken 'A' levels
in school. Even she had only done it to please her
parents. They were all very nice, and of no interest.
He hadn't asked any of them out again nor did he plan
to. It would be unfair to them and him. He missed the
type of people he'd met at university, men and women.
He missed the all-night discussions on anything and
everything under the sun.

That night, after the guests had retired for the
evening, Sheila told him of their next guests. An old
school friend of hers was coming over from her home in
France to spend three or four weeks.

"I thought you were planning on keeping those weeks
free."

"I was. But Claire's an old friend. She married a
Marquis and moved to France. She's a widow now and I
haven't seen her in years. It'll be like a holiday for
me too. I can show her around, catch up on her life.
She's bringing her nephew. She's his guardian. I guess
it's been years since either of them have been back --
he's English too."

"Ok mum. It's your decision."

Ray sat on the fence of the pigyard taking a break.
The weather was not warm enough for him to have worked
up a sweat but he was warm enough to be thirsty. A
large glass of water would have gone down well, or ale
for preference. Looking down at his filthy clothes he
could hear his mum if he walked into the kitchen. As
he climbed down to finish cleaning out the pigsty for
the new shipment of piglets, he saw a large black
limousine pull into his driveway. He didn't return to
work, preferring to watch.

--Lost-- he decided before he remembered. His mother
had reminded him this morning of the arrival of their
guests. The wife of the late Marquis and her nephew.
He watched in impressed amusement as the woman was
helped from the car by the chauffeur. She didn't look
infirm, just used to the attention. Vale View was
either going to be a pleasant change for the woman or
a very short visit. He was startled when a man
followed the woman from the limo. From the distance it
was impossible to tell the man's age but he was fully
grown, not the boy Ray had expected. --I wonder what
he expects to find to do here-- Ray thought as he
returned to work. --A man used to chauffeured limos
won't find much of interest in a small farm village
like Woodsfall. I wonder if the chauffeur is stopping
here, too.--

Bodie unpacked then stood at his window. It was a
pleasant house, a comfortable room and was so far from
everything. If his aunt wanted him to forget his
problem he would have been better served in London. Or
any other large, busy city. Out here there was
probably nothing to do but read or think.

Sheila and his aunt had immediately started talking,
catching each other up on their lives. Except for a
pause to show him his room, they had talked
continuously since their arrival. Not wishing to
intrude on their reunion, Bodie decided to look around
the property. Perhaps a walk into town for a pint.

The house was situated on the side of a hill. Access
was a dirt road at the bottom of the rise. The barns
and pens were up the hill and to the side of the
house. Bodie walked up towards the barn hoping for a
good view of the area. He didn't go near enough to
speak to the man working in one of the pens, covered
with dirt, or worse. Tattered jeans, hair curled and
messy. Well-built -- he could tell that much even
through the dirt and clothes, but he'd have nothing in
common with a scruffy farmhand even if he was curious.

--And Andre? -- he chastised himself silently --Is he
so easy to forget after all?-- Turning down the hill
he headed in the direction he hoped was the way to
town.

Two pints later he decided it was time to go home.
Sheila had mentioned a late supper and he was getting
hungry. Maybe tomorrow he'd find someplace to borrow
or hire a horse and go riding. And one of the men at
the pub said most visitors visit Salisbury -- both the
cathedral and the town. His days might not be as empty
as he'd feared.

Bodie got back to the house just in time to clean up
for dinner. He joined his aunt at the table as Sheila
carried in the last plate of vegetables and sat down.

"Ray'll be right down. He's cleaning up."

"Ray?" Aunt Claire had told him Sheila's husband was
dead.

"My son. He runs the farm."

"I saw one of the men up at the barn this afternoon."

Sheila smiled, "Oh no, that'd be Ray. He does
everything here."

Bodie tried to hide his surprise. The man he'd seen
entering the house, the same one he'd seen earlier had
looked even more grimy and disreputable than before.
He managed to hide his disdain. The door opened and
all eyes turned in that direction.

"Sorry," Ray said quietly.

"Claire, you finally get to meet my son, Ray. Ray,
this is Claire de Villiers and her nephew William
Andrew Phillip Bodie. Did I remember correctly?"

Bodie hoped no one expected him to speak. He was
stunned into silence. The scruffy, grimy farmhand had
transformed into an exotic green-eyed siren. His body
was as nicely made as he'd guessed. Broad shoulders
and muscular chest above almost nonexistent hips. The
hair was an auburn halo encircling the round face.
Spring green eyes glittered above full lips curved in
a smile. The not-quite-symmetrical face 'drew one in
to look closer. Bodie did so.

"Bodie?" Claire prompted.

Bodie looked at her, breaking the spell. "Sorry." He
tried to think of an excuse for his lack of attention
and failed. He looked down at his plate, hoping
someone would rescue him.

"You really do need a holiday," Ray said quietly.

Bodie looked at the other man. The face showed polite
concern, nothing more. Both men remained quiet through
out dinner. Claire and Sheila gladly monopolized the
conversation, still chatting about their present life
and shared past. Bodie listened, gaining information
about this family and their life. About the man he
found inexplicably fascinating.

"--and I despair of him ever finding a wife," Sheila
continued to Claire.

"Mum!" Ray protested.

"Maybe we should leave, before they get to the really
embarrassing bits," Bodie suggested.

"They haven't even started on you yet," Ray said in
return. Nevertheless, Ray left the table, then excused
himself to go out and check the animals before going
to bed. Bodie was relieved. His fascination was
unwelcome, he wanted no opportunity to pursue it. He
knew himself. His sex drive was still very much alive.
He couldn't stop the automatic reaction to a good
looking man, he could however refuse to act on it.

The sun was not yet above the horizon when Ray awoke
to feed the pigs and cows, his mind never more than
half on the job. The other half was thinking about
Bodie. He was intrigued by the man; his dark brooding
good looks, his strange accent, a mixture of English
and French, the almost straight dark brown hair and
blue eyes, the well formed body. All these interested
him. He was also envious. Bodie had never needed to
give up what he wanted in order to support himself or
his family. Probably had never done more than watch
real work. The biceps, chest and narrow waist Ray had
noticed probably the result of Nautilus rather than
lifting, shovelling and carrying. All this did nothing
to detract from his appeal. The pouting lower lips
were particularly attractive.

Doyle hesitated in his repairs to the barn window.
He'd never denied that he could find men attractive.
He would be less of an artist if he denied seeing
beauty in everything. But it had never been more than
a philosophical belief until now. Until Bodie. He
wondered what it would be like, loving a man.

Resuming his work Doyle let his fantasies run free. He
and Bodie kissing, touching, warming each other.
Including guests in his fantasies was a pastime he'd
enjoyed often over the years. His fantasy life was
greatly enriched by them, no one was hurt, and that
was as far as they were allowed into his life. Bodie
was no different from any of the others, except for
his sex. He would have a major role in Ray's dreams
for a time to eventually be replaced by a new visitor.
That was the usual pattern. Ray had some doubts as to
the ease with which he'd be able to remove this man
from his mind. The unique and forbidden aspect of
Bodie's masculinity was enough to fuel many nights of
erotic dreams.

Reality intruded; mooing from inside the barn. Ray
finished the window and checked his watch. Another
twenty minutes before the cow needed milking. He
brought out his tools to finish preparing the barn for
winter.

"Morning."

Doyle spun around to confront his fantasy come to
life. The unwelcome intrusion put a scowl on his face.
"Aren't you on holiday?" he asked, unable to keep the
aggression from his voice.

"Yes," tentatively.

"It's early. I figured you to sleep in." Doyle turned
back to the barn. "Need to finish this."

"Damage anything? It's more likely you who'll be
damaged." Doyle relented slightly and half-smiled at
Bodie. "The Carstons have a mean bull. Just stay out
of any fields with barbed wire." Doyle went back to
work. Twenty minutes later he put his tools down. Time
to milk the cow. He grabbed the short stool and sat on
it at her side. His thoughts drifted back to his
fantasy. Bodie, sweaty from a day of harvesting grain,
working side by side with Ray, then throwing off his
clothes as they cooled down at the nearby pond. Ray
grinned. It was beyond fantasy. He'd seen Bodie's
disdain at his appearance yesterday. And the way he'd
carefully picked his path up the hill this morning
avoiding the muddier spots.

"She mind an audience?"

Doyle jumped at the unexpected voice. "Do you always
sneak up like that?" He hoped this city boy
would tire of farm life soon. Otherwise it was going
to be a long three weeks. Ray wasn't sure his temper
would last through even one week of inane questions or
the superior attitude he felt from this guest. "She
never has done." He answered Bodie's question then
leaned his head against the cow's warm side and
started milking.

Bodie leaned against the stall. "You have any free
time today? I'd appreciate it if you would show me
around."

"Sorry." Ray didn't look at Bodie. "This's a working
farm. Means I have to work."

"Maybe I could help."

Doyle started to laugh at the idea. "Christ. I don't
have time for this." he muttered to himself. He had to
get rid of this man somehow. "You could bring this in
to me mum. She'll be needing it," he handed Bodie the
three quarters full pail.

"Je vous remercie beaucoup!" Bodie snapped. He didn't
care that Doyle wouldn't understand the words, he was
sure the sarcasm got through. He took the pail and
went into the house feeling patronized. The bloody-
minded little bastard. A right egotist. He determined
to avoid the stupid sod from now on whenever possible.
The few times they had to interact would undoubtedly
end his fascination.

Sheila looked out the bedroom window in puzzlement.
Ray was standing on the crest of the hill looking down
the drive where Bodie had just walked off towards the
garage. Ray had always been difficult for her to
understand but today he was incomprehensible. He
seemed to teeter between deep contemplation and
frenzied activity. Claire's nephew had talked with him
this morning. She wondered what had been said, if
there was a problem between the two young men. If so
there was nothing she could do unless asked. She
returned to making the bed. Perhaps later she'd ask
Claire if Bodie had confided in her.

When she'd finished the few chores that had to get
done she went into the parlour. She and Claire had
made plans to go into Salisbury, visit the cathedral
and do some shopping. Bodie had shown no interest in
their plans yesterday, but now he was talking with
Claire about accompanying them.

"Bodie," Claire said reasonably. "You don't want to
spend hours in a cathedral. Why don't you stay here.
Work off some of your excess energy. I imagine Ray
might appreciate some help?"

"No he wouldn't!" Bodie said heatedly. "Doesn't want
any help, does he? Wouldn't want to anyway. Farm work?
Parbleu!" Bodie stormed out of the room.

Sheila looked after him. "Maybe I should apologize for
Ray? He does get stroppy sometimes."

"No. Bodie can be very pushy, let them work it out."
Claire smiled. This holiday had been the right idea.
She hadn't seen Bodie so emotional in months.

Bodie headed away from the town walking quickly. This
holiday had been a stupid idea. He still missed Andre,
would often see something that reminded him of his
lover or think of something he'd tell Andre the next
time they were together only to remember they wouldn't
be together. Andre was now in Italy on his honeymoon.

And Ray Doyle. The man might be appealing, even sexy
but his personality was irritating. He would never be
able to relax with Ray hanging about the place, making
him feel useless and unwanted. Not a proper holiday at
all. Bodie slowed his pace enough to look around. He'd
taken one of the main roads leading away from town.

Hedgerows bordered the road, broken by gaps leading to
farm houses or barns. The leaves had not yet started
to turn. The weather was pleasant, a cool breeze kept
him from overheating after his unplanned exercise.
Calm now he was slightly embarrassed. He knew his aunt
would understand but he would have to apologize to
Sheila when he returned. Then maybe he could convince
Claire that he'd have more of a holiday in London.
Three weeks in London; it would be great. And he
wouldn't have to put up with an overbearing farmhand
with delusions of superiority.

Ray finished his chores early. It was strange to walk
into an empty house. His mother was seldom away; more
usual was a house full of guests and friends. He
poured a glass of lager and went into the parlour. The
sun was an hour from the horizon. It wasn't really
cold enough but knowing how much his mother loved a
fire he built one and lit it. He sat back in the easy
chair. The day had been long. He felt bad about his
behaviour towards Bodie.

It wasn't Bodie's fault Ray found him captivating. Nor
that Ray refused to act on that feeling. He decided
that the fantasies were likely only exacerbating the
problem. Fantasizing about the man only made it harder
to deal with him rationally. Why this should be true
with Bodie and not with any other guest he'd used in
this way, he didn't understand. Nevertheless, it was
true.

So he would forego his fantasies until Bodie left. And
this evening he'd apologize and offer to show Bodie
around the area after chores tomorrow. The man could
hardly help the fact that he'd never been a farmer.
Having done his duty to his mother's guest he could
then try to ignore him.

Bodie and the women arrived together back at the
house. In the bustle Ray managed to escape out the
back door to the barn. Almost three hours later the
four were gathered together in the parlour with coffee
and dessert. Ray had offered his services as tour
guide, Bodie had accepted and the men had talked for a
short time before Ray made his excuses and retired to
bed. Bodie followed shortly. Tucked under the covers,
Ray decided tomorrow would not be as much of a chore
as he'd feared. They had talked about a number of
things tonight, Bodie was personable and
knowledgeable. It was the most enjoyable evening Ray
had spent in many months.

Bodie woke when the sun gave him no choice. He rolled
out of bed and looked out the window. The sun was well
above the horizon. He could see Ray walking towards
the barn from the hillside. He hurried into his
clothes, worried that if he was too late Ray might
cancel. As it was likely he'd be staying here, at
least until he could convince his aunt otherwise, he
wanted to get the feel of the area. Getting lost in
the wilds of Wiltshire did not appeal.

"Bodie," Sheila stopped him as he came down the
stairs, "Breakfast will be ready in about five
minutes. Will you go tell Ray? He didn't hear me
call."

"I'll be right back," Bodie promised. The air was
cool, the breeze playing in his hair and sneaking
through his shirt starting a chill. He'd need a jumper
when they went out later. A few clouds floated slowly
across the expanse of blue sky. A perfect day. Bodie
ran up the hill, full of energy. He found Ray in the
barn working on a small engine.

"What's wrong with it?"

"I think it's just old. We have a new diesel generator
but I'd like a standby. You know anything about
engines?"

"Autos and motorbikes. Never worked on anything like
this." Ray stood and wiped his hands on a rag. "Well
it'll not be fixed today anyway.

"Your mother sent me to get you in for breakfast."
Bodie allowed himself to stare while Ray continued
cleaning his hands of grease. The jumpsuit he wore was
worn and dirty but it fit in all the right places. The
soft cotton moulded biceps and ass, covered but did
not conceal the well-packed groin. A very pleasant
sight. Last night the other man had shown himself to
be intelligent and amusing too. He looked forward to
his promised tour, forgetting Ray's other, less
endearing, personality traits.

"Breakfast," Ray reminded, starting down the hill.
Bodie followed. Sheila and Claire had already started
their tea and scones when the men came into the
kitchen.

"The plates are in the oven," Sheila said. Ray took
them out and brought them to the table. Bodie usurped
Sheila's role and poured out tea for both of them,
warming the women's cups as well.

"What are you doing today, Aunt Claire?"

"Nothing. A short walk this morning, perhaps. A good
book this afternoon. Complete relaxation. Both of us."
The last sentence was an order directed at Sheila. The
woman being commanded smiled and continued eating.
"What are your plans?"

Bodie looked to Ray. "If I helped with your chores we
could begin sooner?"

Ray hurriedly finished off his tea. "Then we'd better
get started. Excuse me." He went out the door.

Bodie stayed in his seat. He didn't know whether he
was supposed to follow, he didn't know what he'd said
or done, he only knew he'd managed to annoy Ray.
Again.

"Please forgive him, Bodie," Sheila put a hand on his
arm. "He's rather possessive of this place. Sometimes
gets help and interference confused."

Bodie smiled. "Thanks. Nice to know it's not just me."

"Bodie--" Claire's warning was clear.

"I'll be good. Mum." He followed Ray out of the house.
On the short walk up to the barn Bodie considered
cancelling the days activities. He hesitated before
opening the door. "Ray?"

"In here." The voice called. Bodie followed the voice
into the feed room.

"Ray, let's forget this. I'll find something else to
do. We don't have to go out later either. I can look
around by myself."

"I said I'll do it."

"Non. Merci." Bodie turned to go.

"Bodie. Wait. Please?"

Bodie did as requested.

"I'm sorry. I've been -- preoccupied lately. I'll try
to behave."

The sincere apology, together with a sweet, tentative
smile, worked magic on Bodie. "I'll wait then, 'til
you're done?" Bodie accepted part of the apology.

"Unless you think you can fix that generator?" Doyle
asked. "I have to prepare one of the fields for
winter. Only takes one person."

Three hours later covered in oil with a bruise on one
finger and a cut on his hand, Bodie pulled the
generator's starter. It coughed out a cloud of black
smoke, choked twice, then purred into life. Bodie
looked at the machine in satisfaction. Letting it run
long enough to be sure it wouldn't quit, he then
stopped it. He needed to find Ray and tell him of his
success.

Ray was at the near side of a newly turned field. He
took one look at Bodie and started laughing.

Bodie gathered his patience about him until the
laughter stopped. "What's funny?" His voice was level.

"Nah, don't bother. You'll fit right in, around here."
Ray jumped up onto the tractor. "Climb on. I'll give
you a ride down to the barn. We can clean up there.
Mum doesn't approve of oil and dirt in the house.

Bodie climbed up and stood behind Ray. As the tractor
jerked forward he grabbed for the only safe hold: Ray.
His hands clamped onto Ray's arms, probably bruising.
He enjoyed the contact more than was comfortable. The
tractor bounced down to the barn. Bodie jumped off as
soon as it slowed.

"I'd better change, as well," Bodie said as they
cleaned up side by side at the large feeding sink. "My
clothes are almost as greasy as I was."

"Nothing too flash. We're going to Salisbury, not
Paris. Or even London."

"Right," Bodie went down to the house to change,
struggling to keep Ray's comments from bothering him.
Ray was making it very easy to ignore his attractions.
Bodie was near to abandoning any further attempts at
amity.

Ray changed his clothes. He felt ridiculous. Every
time he talked to Bodie he said something stupid.
Something that made manifest his envy, or his desire.
The rest of the day promised to be long and
disturbing. Grabbing up his favourite jacket he went
downstairs.

Bodie was waiting in the small foyer, looking at the
corkboard covered with tourist information. "Where's
this then?" he pointed at a colourful flyer for a
carnival.

"Sherborne. Wrong time of year if you fancy that sorta
thing. Summer carnival down at Christchurch's much
better."

"Haven't been to a carnival in years," Bodie offered.

"You'd probably be disappointed. Let's go." Ray went
down to the basement. He opened the garage and got
into the car. By this time Bodie was waiting in the
passenger's seat. The two men were silent until they
were ten minutes from the house. Almost into
Salisbury.

"Am I forgiven?" Bodie asked.

"For what?"

"Don't know. Liking carnivals? Fixing the generator?
Having a title?"

"You have a title?" Ray knew he shouldn't be
surprised.

"Just a small one," Bodie smiled, "Does it matter?"

"You mean can I get any more sarky?" Ray smiled back,
glancing at Bodie for a moment before returning his
attention to the road.

"Can you?"

"Probably," Ray admitted. "Right now I need to find a
place to park."

They drove past the church. There were a number of
parking spaces along the road which followed a small
stream. Ray pulled to the side of the road and
stopped. They started walking back towards the church,
Bodie going slowly. The stream they followed was iii
the midst of a small park. The trees shaded soft,
green grass. A small wooden bridge spanned the water.
Bodie wanted to stay but Ray was already past the
park. He ran to catch him up, passing a real estate
office, a clothes shop and an office of some type.
Side by side he and Ray took a right down a narrow
street bordered by tourist shops, bridged by an
ancient stonework. It wasn't possible to tell if it
was buttress, bridge or a simple doorway into the
church precinct.

They walked under the stone into a large courtyard.
Three sides were protected by houses, the fourth
opened onto grass and walkways leading to Salisbury
cathedral.

"It's magnificent."

Doyle stood silent, letting his companion feel the
awe. He never really saw the old cathedral unless he
was here with a visitor. He came to Salisbury at least
once a week and usually drove past the cathedral but
never stopped or even really noticed the steeple
reaching towards the sky. Familiarity bred -- not
contempt -- but indifference. Then he would bring
someone to see the building and his companion's wonder
would infect him. He followed Bodie now as the man
strolled up the walk to the front of the church. There
weren't many people, either in the yard or inside.
Doyle was startled when Bodie went into the nearest
pew and knelt. Doyle stood by while Bodie bowed his
head for a short time then rose. He shrugged at
Doyle's raised eyebrow.

"Habit," he whispered. "Let's look around."

Ray had expected to be bored long before Bodie was
done. But his companion didn't linger anywhere for
very long. He read a few of the information boards
around the church, looked at one of the carved tomb
covers. Most of his time was spent in the small
churchyard enclosed by the church, walkway and parish
house. A building that had once housed the lesser
monks and priests of the cathedral.

Once Bodie had explored everywhere they were allowed
to, and a few places they weren't, the men went into
the city itself. Their first stop was a pub.

"Pinta bitter?" Ray asked.

"Lager," Bodie corrected. "Still getting used to beer
instead of wine." He explained when Ray returned with
the drinks. "I've lived in France for ten years.
Didn't really start drinking 'til I got over there, so
I got used to drinking wine.

"Rather have wine?"

"No. This is fine." Bodie took a sip from the pint.
"Where do we go after this?"

"There's lots of great old buildings, around the town.
Or there's an old Roman fort an hour or so away.

"You like ruins?"

"Some farmers do think of more than weather and pork
prices." Ray said defensively. "I spent a year at art
school."

"Just a year?" Bodie's joked, but his voice held a
slight edge. "Dropped out or kicked out?"

"You implying I couldn't make it?" Ray snapped.

"How the hell do I know?" Bodie retorted viciously.
"You ashamed?"

"No!" Ray realized shame was exactly what he felt. At
having - at being - less than this man he'd been
burdened with. He still felt deprivation at his
simple, unsophisticated upbringing. Bodie had money,
position, everything it seemed. "We couldn't afford it
after my father died," he admitted.

"I'm sorry," Bodie allowed Ray's admission to cool his
temper. "My parents died when I was nine. I know how
terrible it is."

The two sat joined in sad memory, closer than either
would have believed. But the moment passed.

"Another?" Bodie asked.

"Nah, let's look around."

A pleasant fall weekday, most of the pedestrians were
tourists. The men wandered through the town, no
destination in mind. Bodie enjoyed himself immensely.
Despite all the years he'd been away he recognized the
ambiance of an English village. It made him feel
secure and warm, as when he was a child. Ray kept him
mostly away from the tourist areas. They visited
places that were no less old, but less commercialised.
They also visited the newer shopping district and
residential areas. Shadows had lengthened by the time
they had returned to the area of the city where they'd
left the car.

"Ray, wait," Bodie stopped him with a hand on his arm.
"I forgot. I wanted to get a Thank You gift for your
mother, and something for Aunt Claire. Is there
anywhere I could get something nice?"

Ray almost took offence, then realized Bodie had meant
something other than the cheap tourist shops they'd
passed.

"Jewellery? Clothes? Antiques? A bottle?"

"Jewellery. Aunt Claire loves new earrings."

So Ray brought Bodie to a jewellery store nearby. He
occasionally had purchased presents there himself and
knew they had a good selection. The wide price range
they carried was something he discovered only when
Bodie started looking around. He managed to pick the
pieces that cost more than Ray normally spent in total
on Christmas gifts for everyone he knew. Uncomfortable
at the thought of anyone spending so much money, he
left Bodie to choose the gifts while he went to buy a
couple bottles of wine for dinner.

The ride home was quick, the sky dark as they pulled
up the driveway. Ray closed them into the garage and
switched on the light. Bodie was waiting at the entry
into the house.

"Thanks for the tour," Bodie said. "I enjoyed it."

"Yeah. Was nice, havin' an afternoon away from here."
Ray started to pass Bodie to enter the house. Bodie
wouldn't move out of the doorway.

"I.. .uh. . . I got you something. A thank you."

"Oh." Ray took the small unwrapped box. It was from
the jewellery store. He realized Bodie was standing
only inches in front of him. One hand slid behind his
head and pulled him into a kiss. It was as skilful as
any he'd known, gentle and full of passion. Tender and
persuasive. Welcome. His initial startled hesitancy
disappeared and he responded in kind. The rising
intensity was too sudden and both men pulled away.

"Why'd you do that?" Ray whispered.

"I wanted to," the answer popped out, "You wanted to."

"You don't know that."

"No," Bodie admitted. "C'etait un erreur." He backed
up another step. "Open it." Bodie nodded to the box
still resting in Ray's palm.

Ray opened the box. Inside, nesting in a cloud of
cotton, was a chain of fluid silver.

"I saw you looking at them," Bodie explained into the
silence. "Wanted to get you something. Thank you for
today."

"And buy me for tonight? That what this is for?"

"That wasn't the intent."

"Too right, mate. You're not buying me." Ray thrust
the box into Bodie's hand and shoved his way past into
the house and up the stairs.

Bodie was too surprised to move. He let himself be
pushed to one side, automatically bending to rescue
the chain which had fallen to the cement. It was
carefully returned to its box and hidden in a pocket.
Bodie retreated to his room. Once alone behind locked
door he threw the other presents on his bed and put
the rejected gift on the nearby dresser. He thought
he'd chosen the thing so carefully. A thick, durable
chain that could be worn doing farm work without
danger of breaking. Not so expensive that Ray would be
hesitant to wear it, or come to the wrong conclusion.

--So much for being careful-- Bodie thought as he let
the chain run through his fingers to the dresser. --
C'est la vie. I shall convince Aunt Claire, if
necessary, to let me go up to Brewsterfield. And
tonight? Tonight I'm going to make the sod sorry he's
such a conceited, self-important bastard.-- Bodie
dressed for dinner, changing into light grey soft
cotton slacks and a deep green silk shirt that turned
his eyes to light blue. And showed off his other
assets. Approving of the image in the mirror he left
his room. His Aunt was at the head of the staircase.

"I thought I'd heard you come in. Did you enjoy
yourself?"

"Yes," Bodie motioned Claire to precede him down the
stairs. "I did. But I think I've done everything there
is to do around here."

"Relax. Enjoy being out in the country. I'm sure
you'll find something, or someone, to occupy your
time." Claire missed Bodie's grimace as she walked
into the parlour.

He poured a gin for himself and a brandy for her.
"What I should do is go to Brewsterfield. See that
everything is as good as Benjamin writes to us."

"You've decided to stay here in England then?"

"No. But there's no reason to stay here. You have
Sheila for company. And I could use some time alone
there to decide if I should stay. You and I can have
some time alone together at the house when you arrive."

Claire looked into her glass as if it were a crystal
ball. "Maybe you're right. Let's talk about this
tomorrow. If you still feel the same you can go. N'est
ce pas?"

"I guess I don't need to ask if you're enjoying
yourselves." Sheila said as she entered the room.

"Oh, Sheila, Bodie's just reminding me of my age."

"And he seemed so polite when we first met."

"Another drink?" Bodie asked his aunt as he handed a
full glass to his hostess. He'd learned short hours
after arriving at Vale View that it was unwise, as
well as useless, to say anything once these two
started teasing.

"Dinner will be ready in five minutes. I have to go
finish bringing it out." Sheila said to her guests
after finishing her drink.

"I'll help." Claire left Bodie to himself in the
parlour. He sat in the easy chair, leaned his head
back and closed his eyes. The door opened, barely
audibly. Bodie's eyes stayed closed. He knew who it
had to be.

"Bodie. I didn't mean to disturb you. I came in to get
a drink."

"It is your house." Bodie waved a hand as if in
permission.

"Yes. Sometimes wonder if you've forgotten that."

"With you to remind me constantly?" Bodie stood up. "I
won't bother you anymore. I'll most likely be leaving
in the morning."

"Oh no. I found something very interesting." Bodie let
his eyes slowly roam Doyle's body. "But as it doesn't
seem to be on offer I may as well go."

Ray turned his back on the infuriating man.

"I do enjoy the view." Ray spun back to face Bodie.
"Don't worry. Wouldn't dream of insulting you any
further." One finger gently brushed Doyle's right
cheek, then Bodie left the room.

Doyle didn't follow immediately. But he had no excuse
to miss dinner and his mother would be worried and
suspicious if he didn't go in.

Dinner was a trial. Bodie behaved as the perfect
dinner companion--bright, witty and genial to Claire
and Sheila. He was politely correct to Ray when the
women would notice. Out of sight he was behaving
unforgivably. It had started with a few glances. Ray
had frowned and ignored them but Bodie only changed
tactics. He began to make sly comments, innuendos that
grew less subtle until Ray could no longer ignore it.
At his silent pleading Bodie stopped the words. Over
the main course Ray had felt a shoe-less foot
caressing his thigh. Before dessert Bodie had excused
himself and on his return passed behind Ray and run
fingers lightly over his shoulders and neck. By the
time Bodie relented, Ray was contemplating murder.
There were any number of deadly accidents that could
occur on a farm. Especially to someone unknowledgeable
about farming. That his discomfort was heightened by
more than a small touch of desire only caused him to
plan the potential murder to be more painful to the
intended victim.

"You're very quiet Ray," Claire said.

"Just thinking of all the work I need to do tomorrow."
Ray smiled faintly at her. "Forgive me?"

"Of course. It's the least I can do, as you fell
behind in your work to show my nephew around your
city."

"My pleasure. If you'll excuse me, I have to get up
early. I'd better check the animals and go to bed."
With a kiss for his mother, Ray escaped. He made sure
the animals were bedded down for the night, then took
a quick shower and prepared for bed. Once horizontal
with the blankets snug around him, Ray was wide awake.
Awake to listen to all the sounds of the house. Awake
when he heard Bodie enter the bathroom that was next
to Ray's bedroom. The sound of the shower caused an
unwanted scene to appear in his mind. Bodie, water
sluicing down his naked, soapy body. His large hands
rubbing a face cloth down his chest, over his flat
belly, soap hiding dark pubic hair in white foam.
Ray's blood heated. Tremors touched his muscles,
gathering at his groin. His hand, traitor to his mind,
moved down to seek pleasure. At the first touch his
cock jumped.

The shower turned off. Five minutes later he heard
Bodie return to his room. He released his hard cock
and rolled, carefully, onto his stomach. He didn't
want to cum with Bodie's presence so close. He wanted
very much for it to be Bodie who caused that orgasm.

It wasn't long afterwards he heard the third step from
the landing creak. The bathroom was used then the
bedroom door just down the hall closed. Claire going
to bed. He listened further but the sounds of the
house subsided. The outdoor noises began to seem
louder. Noise which was usually like a lullaby;
tonight they were only noises. Hours later he was
still unable to sleep. His mind circled over the same
thoughts again and again. For no sane reason, he was
attracted to Bodie. Bodie was attracted to him. They
could barely talk to one another without fighting. And
if he didn't do something about it, tomorrow Bodie
would probably be gone. Thinking was doing nothing but
depriving him of sleep.

Forcing his mind from thought and his body into
action, Ray threw back the covers, put on the closest
thing to hand, his worn overalls, and quietly left his
room. Taking care to miss the floorboard just outside
Claire's room, he stood outside Bodie 's door. As soon
as he realized that action had again metamorphosed
into thought he put his hand on the doorknob and
turned. Once inside with the door tightly shut he
froze. From the door he could see half the room. The
dresser against the wail to his left, the window with
its curtains open and a half moon shining in.The
moonlight was enough to show that the far bed was
occupied, not whether the occupant was awake.

"I'm not asleep." The moon-limned body moved.

"I woke you?"

"No. You kept me awake."

"I did?" Ray wasn't sure what Bodie was trying to say.

"I want you."

"What do you mean?"

Bodie chuckled. "You must know."

"I have some idea."

Despite his words, Ray bumped against the door when
Bodie got out of bed and stood in front of him. He
shrank back further against the door when Bodie
reached out a hand, touching his shoulder then hair
before it returned to Bodie's side.

"Then why did you come in here?" Bodie asked quietly,
moving back to give Ray some room.

Still unable to speak, Ray unhooked one suspender of
the overalls. Unhooking the other he let the garment
drop around his feet. He knew the faint light
highlighted his nudity. Bodie was looking at him but
it was impossible to see the expression.

"Oh God," Bodie whispered and held out a hand. Ray
took it, trying to keep Bodie from feeling the shivers
he couldn't control. Bodie led him over to the bed
near the window. The slightly taller man stripped off
his y-fronts as Ray watched. Bodie's skin almost
glowed in the cold white light. He sat on the bed at
Bodie's coaxing. The bed was an old single, the
mattress higher from the floor than a more modern bed.
Bodie only had to bend a little to kiss Ray. The kiss
was hot and gentle and ended too soon. Ray wanted to
reach out and bring Bodie's lips back to his own. He
found he was unable to move.

"Just being here isn't enough," Bodie said as he
played with Ray's curls. "I'd likesome
encouragement."

Ray licked his lips. He put one hand on Bodie's hip.
The skin under his hand was smooth, warm. He rubbed
small circles over hip and thigh. Emboldened by his
first move he stood up and initiated another kiss. His
tongue pushed into Bodie 's mouth. Strong arms brought
him close against the naked body. Bodie thrust his
erection against Ray's slowly engorging penis.

"Bed's more comfortable." Bodie sat, bringing Ray
again into his arms. Together they stretched out on
the bed. Bodie let his hands roam, careful to slowly
excite his lover. Ray was clearly not experienced; it
would be easy to frighten, or hurt, or repulse him.
Bodie wanted to do none of these things. Besides being
a thoughtful lover, Bodie had found that his near rape
so many years ago still dominated his actions. He
shrank from mixing violence and sex, even in play. It
had occasionally even caused problems. Andre would
start wrestling, Bodie would respond at the start then
he'd freeze, his erection would disappear. After the
first few disasters Andre had stopped this sort of
game. Bodie had never asked for more.

It was easy for him to go slowly. He was relishing
this chance to explore the unknown, desired man. So
many months and years since he'd taken a new lover.
The uniqueness was rousing in itself. Looking at the
man beside him, giving himself so fully, Bodie
realized he had not yet begun to find the limit of his
intoxication. The search promised to be all he could
wish.

His hips surged forward as a warm, unexpected hand
brushed his belly and cock. He squeezed Doyle's ass,
coaxing him closer, rubbing cocks together. Doyle's
need had matched his own. Uninterested in sex for two
months, Bodie was overwhelmed by the rush of sensation
he couldn't control. His orgasm was devastating and
unexpected. Before the final spasms subsided he took
Ray's head in his hands.

"You ok? Sorry. 'M usually not that precipite -- uh --
premature."

"'S Okay." Ray felt at the cream that sprinkled his
crotch and belly. He brought the finger to his mouth
and tried it with the tip of his tongue.

"Christ." Bodie took Doyle's hand, sucked on the
finger himself for a moment before resuming the kiss
he'd ended. A reminder of Ray's need pressed against
his hip. With a caress to Doyle's face, Bodie
positioned himself to minister to that need. Ray was
pushed flat on his back and Bodie moistened the cock
from head to base with his tongue before engulfing it
with his mouth. He leaned over Ray until he finally
had, a bit at a time, taken the cock deep into his
mouth and throat. He looked up. The moonlight shone on
Ray's face, highlighting the near absence of colour in
his eyes. His breathing was deep and quick. Bodie
accepted the accolade to his skill and released the
cock from his throat. One hand pumped the shaft while
his mouth suckled on the head. His reward was not long
delayed. With a yell, prudently muffled by the nearest
pillow, Ray poured his seed into the eagerly waiting
mouth. Warm cream coated his throat. Bodie swallowed
eagerly. He kissed his way up Doyle's body to take the
man in his arms.

"You taste great," Bodie said into Ray's neck.

"So did you," Ray voiced his surprise. "That was
amazing."

"Needn't sound quite so surprised." Bodie nibbled on
Ray's ear.

"Was better even that I'd imagined."

"You've been fantasizing about me?"

Doyle was embarrassed to admit the truth. "Isn't that
what you wanted?"

Having gotten just what he wanted, Bodie was
benevolent. "Yes. I wanted this. And I want it again
if you do too."

Doyle's hand, which had started to caress Bodie's arm
and side, stopped. "I hadn't thought further than
this."

"No need. I don't want any promises. Just some
pleasure. A chance to get to know you."

"Why? I haven't been very nice."

"I love a challenge." Bodie hugged Ray to him and gave
him a deep, thorough kiss. "I enjoyed today. I like
you. I wasn't trying to buy you, y'know."

"Sorry. I do know that." Doyle played with Bodie's
hair, then kneaded his shoulder. "Did I really just
make love to a peer of the realm?"

Bodie stilled, afraid Doyle's temper had turned again.
But Doyle was smiling, continuing to pet Bodie. "Yeah.
Baronet Brewster. Now, can we think about more
important things?"

"Mm, Like what?" Doyle nuzzled Bodie's cheek.

"Sleep, Ray. It was a long day. We have plenty of
time."

Ray was too tired to argue.

As usual Ray woke before his alarm so he was able to
drift in that half-aware state he indulged in before
starting the day. It was soon after that he noticed
more than the time of day. He was in the guest room.
In a small bed crushed up against another person. A
man. Bodie. He enjoyed the feel of Bodie warm against
his side. The arm curled tight about his waist. Waking
early became even more pleasurable. He turned so he
could hold Bodie in his arms. Last night had been so
good. He wanted to just relax in the sensation for a
bit longer. Bodie only half woke and returned the
embrace. His erection rubbed against Ray's hip.

Ray put Bodie's hand on his own hardness. "Yes I do.
But I have to work."

"Won't take long," Bodie promised him, hands and mouth
assuring that Ray would not be neglected. The men
established a fast rhythm. Orgasm was strong, mostly
silent and nearly simultaneous. Bodie recovered first,
got a face cloth, wet it in the room's sink and
returned to the bed. He gently cleaned Ray.

"Ready for work now?"

"Not immediately," Ray smiled. He took the cloth to
return the favour. At the first touch of cotton
against Bodie's skin he jumped back.

"Sorry, cold, was it?"

"Freeze it off, you won't get anymore," Bodie warned
as he got back into bed. "I'm going back to sleep."

"Unfeeling sod." Ray dropped the cold cloth very
carefully in the middle of Bodie's chest and jumped
out of bed. Once dressed he quietly made his way
downstairs and out of the house.

"Bodie, are you coming down for breakfast?" Claire
knocked on the closed door.

"Come in," the voice called. Claire went into Bodie's
room. The curtain was drawn over the window and Bodie
was sitting in the middle of his bed.

"Is something wrong? You're usually awake and wanting
breakfast long before me."

"Just tired. All this fresh air, I guess." Bodie
stretched. "I'll get dressed, be right down."

Curiosity blooming, Claire looked around the room
before leaving. Nothing seemed out of place in Bodie's
room but something was different. Perhaps it would be
best to let Bodie leave, as he'd asked. Claire found
Sheila in the kitchen and asked if she would mind
leaving her and Bodie alone at breakfast.

Once Sheila served the eggs she left the two alone.
Claire had been watching Bodie carefully since he'd
come downstairs. He was quiet, contained and more
relaxed than he'd been in months. She had her
suspicions but the most likely cause also seemed the
least possible. Bodie had been subtle in his attack on
Ray at dinner last night but she knew her nephew. Well
enough to have felt the tension between the two, heard
the meaning in the casual remarks Bodie had thrown at
Ray.

"I must be getting used to this place," Claire
remarked. "I didn't even hear Ray go out this
morning."

Bodie looked up but nothing showed on his face. "I
did, but I went right back to sleep."

"I guess with only the two of them, both he and Sheila
have to work every day. Not much time for holidays or
time off. It was very nice of Ray to show you around
yesterday."

"Yeah. He told me."

The words were right but the tone was not what Claire
expected. The relationship between the two boys was
changed. The next question of course, was how.

"I thought about what you asked. I think maybe you
should go. If you're really bored here, it might be
better to go on to Brewsterfield. This was to be your
holiday too." Claire thought she recognized confusion
in Bodie's face before he turned partly away from her.

"I was thinking about that too," Bodie said slowly.
"If I go to Brewsterfield I'll have to work." He met
her eyes. "Another two weeks won't make much
difference to the estate and I'll be more relaxed.
Ready to get into it."

Claire waited until the door closed before she allowed
the grin she'd been controlling to appear. She hadn't
seen Bodie so embarrassed and confused in a long time.
Her nephew was often too mature. She was always
startled when he behaved as the young man he was,
rather than the adult he usually acted.

Sheila put her head in the door. "I saw Bodie. Are you
done so soon?"

"Come in. Have breakfast with me? I have been
abandoned."

"Bodie was on his way to the barn, I think," Sheila
said as she came in and sat down. She was too polite
to intrude and too curious not to let Claire know she
wanted to know what was happening.

"Bodie was planning on leaving. Now he's changed his
mind. Or something changed it." To herself she amended
-- or more likely someone.

Bodie berated himself for his cowardice all the way up
to the barn. Would it have been so terrible to just
tell his aunt the truth? But he was still unsure just
what the truth was. The sex last night had been great
but he and Doyle were scarcely best friends. He
suspected they could become close -- if he didn't kill
the irritating little sod first. To be fair it was
equally likely that Doyle would kill him first. Or
try.

For now he had other things in mind for him and Doyle
to do. He found the object of his thoughts behind the
barn adding to the compost heap.

"Hope you don't want any help," Bodie leaned against
the barn out of the way of any stray compost.

"Wouldn't want you to get dirty."

"I will if you like," Bodie smiled as Doyle finally
looked at him. "I want to spend time with you. Even if
it means shovelling pig shit."

"Cowshit." Doyle corrected, returning the smile. "The
pigs are next."

Bodie grimaced as Doyle handed him the shovel. "I'll
learn to keep my mouth shut." Despite his protest he
did indeed help. He watched Doyle for three or four
minutes then tried to emulate him but as the morning
passed and the work moved from barn to field Bodie
realized how arduous farm work was. He tired sooner
than he wanted to admit. His arms grew heavy, his back
began to hurt. It wasn't the burning ache he was used
to from working out. This was a dull pain that spread
through his whole body. He was relieved when Doyle
stopped him for lunch.

Doyle thought about this. Thinking, perhaps for the
first time, about the reaction of the people close to
him.

"I'll go get a couple of sandwiches. We can have a
picnic."

Doyle washed his hands and rummaged through the
cupboard and refrigerator, came up with some ham salad
sarnies, a large bag of crisps and a couple cans of
lager. Bodie had cleaned up too and they took the food
to the side of the house. Doyle spread a towel on the
ground and laid out the food. "Your aunt knows you
like men?"

"I'm gay," Bodie replied. "I've known since I was
sixteen. I came out to Aunt Claire almost as soon as I
knew."

"What did she say?"

Bodie smiled at the memory. "She said I shouldn't make
a decision like that too quickly. And if it's truly
what I wanted she supported me totally."

"That's all?"

"No, then I got a twenty minute lecture on discretion,
my position as a peer and the possible problems of a
homosexual lifestyle." Bodie finished off his sandwich
in three bites and started on the crisps.

"My mother won't have all that to worry about at
least. I don't have a title, or any desire to go into
politics."

Bodie was startled, though he should have expected
this. If he'd noticed anything about this man it was
his tendency to go over the top on things. "You've
never made love to a man before, have you?"

"I thought -- you didn't know?"

"Not for sure. You have made love to women?"

"Yeah."

"And liked it?"

"Yes. Why? Taking a survey?"

"Coming out isn't easy. Aunt Claire is an exception.
Just don't want you to start telling people you're
gay, uh, unnecessarily."

While working Doyle thought over what Bodie had said.
He had seldom been sexually attracted to men, had
never gone further than looking. The attraction he
felt for Bodie was more than that. He didn't know if
it made him gay, bisexual or just confused. That Bodie
was concerned about him showed that he felt more than
just lust, too. Also, he was most likely right. It
wouldn't be easy to tell his mother. She'd probably
twig soon enough anyway.

As last night had been nearly unendurable, so tonight
was for totally different reasons. Bodie was as charming,
but with none of the teasing of last night. The glances
between them held nothing but friendship. Every attempt by
Doyle at suggestive looks or innuendo was met by
silence or at most a slight grin and quick change of
subject. After dinner the foursome moved into the
parlour to talk and watch the telly. Doyle tried to
manoeuvre Bodie onto the sofa, unsuccessfully. So he
perched beside the fireplace and tried to understand.

By the time he went to bed he was still in the dark.
He waited in his room, hoping Bodie would knock on the
door, wondering why that knock never came. Had Bodie
changed his mind? Was he really just interested in a
quick fuck? Maybe he just liked virgins. Or last night
had been an effort to overcome his boredom. The quiet
of the house highlighted the absence of footsteps in
the hall. Doyle's impression of rejection turned to
anger, propelling him out of his room to the other end
of the hall where Bodie slept.

Presence of mind cooled his anger enough that he
knocked and opened the door quietly. He walked into
the centre of the room and was suddenly caught in a
tight embrace.

"I'd thought you'd decided not to come tonight," Bodie
chuckled at his own pun, kissing Ray's neck. Doyle
pulled out of the embrace.

"What the hell are you playing at?"

"I want to be 'playing' with you." Bodie grabbed for
Ray but the smaller man stepped out of reach.

"You sure? After this evening I thought you'd changed
your mind."

"Christ," Bodie sat on the bed. "I was just using a
little discretion. If you'd rather, we can hold hands
during supper and neck on the sofa after."

"No --"

"I don't want to hurt you. I know what I want, you
have to decide if you do too. How we handle this, if
we continue at all, it's your decision." Moonlight
shone on Bodie's smile. "Of course, I do plan to
persuade you to continue." Bodie held out his hand.

Doyle took it and sat beside his lover. "It's gonna be
hard, sneaking around. I've never lied to mum."

"Yeah. I guess that's for the best. For now." Doyle
took Bodie's face in his hands. "We still have most of
the night."

They fed on each other's mouth. Desire was volatile,
needing only a spark to ignite into conflagration. It
was never clear who provided the spark.

"Ray." Bodie touched his lover's shoulder. He
regretted having to wake the man. Ray slept so soundly
it would have been nice to lie in bed and watch him.
The sun was brightening the sky, the first bird song
was intruding into the dawn. The pigs out in the back
were making the first snufflings of morning. It was
time to start the day. Ray would not be happy if he
was allowed to stay asleep. "Doyle, your pigs're
calling."

"Not in bed. Got this picture in me head of Mum
bringing us the food."

Bodie snickered. "Not on, right?"

"Yeah," Ray pushed himself up and started to dress. "I
haven't a lot to do today. We could go riding this
after. You do ride, don't you?'

"Yes. Don't you want help with the work?"

"No, Bodie. It's your holiday. Relax."

Bodie felt that he was being patronised but it was so
nicely done he could hardly take umbrage. So he did as
he was told. He re-woke just in time for breakfast.
Sheila and Claire were driving to Sherbourne to look,
or shop. Bodie had been paying attention to Ray and
only half listened to what the women were saying.

After breakfast everyone went off and Bodie was left
alone. He wandered around the house from parlour to
breakfast room to kitchen and back. Then upstairs to
his room, his aunt's room. He walked down to the end of
the hall -- Ray's room, attracted by the sunlight.
Usually the bedroom door was closed but now it was
wide open. The sunlight from the window lit the room
and brightened the normally dark hall. He looked
inside. The room itself was not much bigger than his
own. The double bed was pushed against one wall, a
dresser was against the opposite wall. Curiosity
overcame judgement and he went in. The room was clean
and cluttered. Clothes were draped over one of the two
chairs. The dresser was covered with brush, comb,
cologne, magazines and what looked like parts of a
machine.

His attention was caught and held by a covered stand
resting in one corner by the window. He approached and
lifted the piece of towel which covered a canvas. It
wasn't yet a painting. Some of the base coat was still
visible. Some of the trees were finished while others
were simply rough patches of greens and browns. The
river was just a grey-blue patch across the canvas
while in the dam blocking the river, each twig and
rock in it were detailed perfectly. Faint chalk lines
were still visible where two figures had been sketched
in the foreground then erased. Even incomplete as it
was the painting evoked emotion. Bodie saw peace,
serenity and loneliness. He wondered how long Ray had
been working on this piece and if he'd worked on it
recently. The loneliness called to him, he wanted to
end it. Imagination supplied Ray's reaction to this
intrusion into his space. Bodie knew he would have to
approach the subject carefully, if at all.

Re-covering the painting Bodie went downstairs, found
a book and tried to direct his attention to the story
until Ray finished his work.

"Bodie, mum left some cheese and bread for lunch."

"And pickles?"

"Yeah. 'N if you're real good, chocolate gateaux for
afters."

Bodie grinned and put down his book. "Your mum is
great." He grabbed Doyle, kissed him then let go and
headed for the kitchen. Doyle followed, somewhat
bemused. It had been so long since he'd received
simply affection from anyone other than his mother. A
place in his heart that had been empty was warmed and
filled. The emptiness was not eradicated but it was
decreased. A need was satisfied that would now always
be full.

In the kitchen Bodie had found and was putting out the
china and silver -- actually stoneware and stainless
steel. Doyle set the food out. In what seemed moments,
only crumbs remained.

"Where do you go riding?" Bodie asked as he put the
last of the dishes in the dish washer.

"Our neighbours across the street. Since Ben got
married and Jill went to University the horses don't
get enough exercise. I go over whenever I get a
chance."

"Great. Let's go." Bodie headed for the front door.

"Bodie, wait--" he stopped. Bodie was already outside
and probably halfway down the front walk. Doyle just
grabbed a jacket and his down vest and followed. The
two walked side by side down the drive and up the
street to a small white house with brown trim and
black slate shingles. To the right of the house and
close to the road stood a small modern four stall
barn. Ray went inside and pointed out where the
brushes and tack were stored.

Bodie was less than certain of his reception. He
hadn't lied; three years of lessons as a child ensured
he knew how to ride. Over ten years had passed since
then, five since he'd been on a horse. He could only
hope he found his seat before he acquired too many
bruises and aching muscles. He grabbed a soft brush,
curry comb and hoofpick and went into the nearest box.
The animal was calm so he slipped the halter over its
head and started rubbing with the brush. The horse
stood willingly until he reached her neck. She gently
but insistently stepped around until all he could
reach was her rump. Two more tries elicited the same
action.

"You are not going to win," he told the recalcitrant
mare as he led her out of the box and cross tied her
in the centre of the alley between the stalls.

At that moment Ray came back.

"Marcia says we should enjoy ourselves." Ray handed
over a warm muffin. "She was baking." Bodie grabbed it
out of Ray's hand before the horse could take it. She
snuffled at Ray's empty hand while Bodie stood out of
reach to finish his second dessert.

"You want Cassy or Turk?" Ray asked as he brought the
other horse, a gelding, out of his stall.

Ray was bending over picking out his mount's hoof.
Presented with such a clear opportunity Bodie gave in.
He went over and put a hand on either cheek and
rubbed. "I like muffins."

Ray jumped forward, dropping both hoof and pick.
"Bodie. Don't!"

"No one's looking except two horses and I don't think
they care."

Doyle stood facing him. Bodie gave Doyle the chance to
stop him. He wasn't stopped. He pulled the smaller man
into his arms, kissed him thoroughly then just held
him. Bodie wasn't used to his lover being so reticent.
He and Andre had often walked down a street arm in
arm, kissed in public. Vale View was not France. Was
not even London, where it might have been accepted if
not approved.

Bodie was first to relax the embrace. "The horses are
watching," he teased.

The riders soon left the roadside for a path through
an empty field. Bodie's hands, arms and legs
remembered their job before his mind. He was relaxed
and confidant when Doyle's mount started to trot. A
squeeze of his legs and his own horse followed. A
little more pressure and Cassie cantered, catching and
passing Tuck and Doyle. He slowed as they approached
the trees at the edge of the field. Doyle was only
seconds behind.

"Cassie's always been faster," Doyle said, laughing.

"You're too competitive." Bodie reined Cassie close to
Tuck so he could pet Ray's arm. "I'll let you win next
time, if you like."

"Berk." Doyle took a swing, his tone affectionate.
Tuck moved down the path into the trees. The wood was
old, the trees tall and full, blocking most of the
sunlight even on the wide gravel trail. There were few
bushes or brambles even off the path. Further along
the trees were lined precisely along the trail.
Perhaps this had once been the entry to a mansion or
stately home. Gone now except for the living memories.
As they turned off the gravel Bodie heard a river
mumbling in the near distance. As the sound grew
louder the trees became less dense. Past a partially
tumbled stone wall the men and horses entered a
clearing. Shaded by willows was a river which had been
blocked to form a small pool. The water was only
slowed, it ran through and over the rocks and branches
of the man-made or child made, dam.

Bodie dismounted and joined Doyle beside the river,
letting the horses drink. "It's just like the
painting," Bodie said to himself.

"What!?" Doyle grabbed Bodie's arm. For a moment Bodie
thought he was going to be hit, then Ray dropped his
hand and turned away.

"Merde," Bodie hissed. "I saw the painting in your
room. I apologize. The door was open." Bodie was taken
by surprise when Ray jumped on his horse and took off
along the river. He was slow to follow, not knowing
the trail - or if following was the right thing to do.
When he caught up would Ray yell, or ignore him, or
hit him? None of the options were pleasant. Bodie was
soon lost. Nothing looked familiar and he wasn't even
sure in which direction he would find Vale View. He
kept Cassie at a trot. Around a high, untended
hedgerow he saw Doyle and Tuck about 50 yards ahead,
stopped at the side of the trail. Without prompting
Cassie walked over to her stablemate and nuzzled his
shoulder.

"Can I apologize again? Please forgive me?"

"I knew you wouldn't find your way home." Doyle pulled
Tuck's head around and they set off at a walk. Bodie
gave Cassie her head and she followed. The first cool
breezes of evening were drifting through the trees
though the sun was still hours above the horizon.
Bodie snapped his jacket closed. Ray's jacket. It made
him feel a little better to have something of Ray's on
his body. It seemed appropriate somehow that it was
Ray's clothes protecting him from the chill that was
mostly caused by Ray. Anger or resentment he'd have
understood. Given Doyle's temper, if the man had felt
either Bodie would have heard about it. This cold
disregard hurt. Bad. Back to civilization, riding
along the side of the road, Bodie had to turn his
attention to the ride.

Once back at the stable they untacked the horses,
accepted a plate of muffins from Marcia and walked
back to the house. Doyle brought the muffins to the
kitchen.

"I'll make tea for those," Sheila decided. "We'll eat
late tonight."

"I'm taking everyone out to dinner," Claire said as
they ate the muffins. "Wherever you like."

"Chez Nico." Doyle mentioned his favourite place, then
smiled at his mother, "I'll be back in a minute."

"What's Chez Nico? Or where?" Claire asked of Sheila.

"A very nice, very expensive French restaurant--"

"Price isn't important."

"In London."

Bodie chuckled at his aunt who was trying not to look
worried. She'd stand by her offer if she had to fly
them all to Hong Kong, but she wouldn't be easy with
it.

"It was Ray's favourite restaurant when he was at
university. He didn't really mean it."

"Maybe we could go at the weekend," Claire suggested.
"Spend the day in the city."

"You'll spoil us, Claire. Dinner at the White Horse is
more than enough."

Bodie sipped at his tea and ate another muffin. Unless
Doyle accepted his apology they would be sharing
another uncomfortable dinner.

The White Horse Inn was in Woodfalls, only about three
miles from Vale View. From the outside it was a
stereotypical Olde English Country Inn. Dark brown,
deeply weathered wood made up the walls and roof, the
windows were leaded in a diamond pattern. A pub sign
hung over one door, a smaller sign signalled the inn s
entrance. Doyle let Claire and Sheila out of the car
at the front and drove around to the car park in the
rear of the building.

"Ray, can we talk?"

"No."

Bodie jerked the car door open and jumped out.
Frustration begat anger, which caused him to strike at
the closest safe object. A six foot high wooden fence
which surrounded the car park. A board cracked, his
knuckles split. Pain throbbed up his arm. Bodie pulled
a splinter from his fist and blotted at the small
amount of blood with his handkerchief.

"Bodie?" Doyle had come near'.

"I need a pint. No, I need three or four." Bodie
looked up. "I'd better clean this up first. Show me
the gents?"

Doyle led the way towards the inn. "Maybe next time
you should just hit me." His voice was very quiet but
Bodie heard.

"Less painful than the substitute."

Doyle almost stumbled before gaining his balance and
going inside. They entered a hallway which passed by
the kitchen on the right, into the dining area
directly in front of them and to the left. To the
right in front of the kitchen was an open counter to
the kitchen, a small work area for the help. Closer to
the front of the building was the bar and pub area.
Sheila and Claire were already seated at a table by
the front window. Doyle pointed Bodie towards the loo
and brought a round of drinks to the table. A pint of
cider for Claire, a lager for himself and his mother
and a large glass of wine which he set at the empty
place.

Bodie returned to the table, sat at the empty seat and
then noticed his drink. He looked at Ray, ready for
ridicule. Ray's half smile reassured him; he raised
the drink in a silent toast, the glass in his left
hand to hide the evidence of his anger from the women.
"Thanks, mate."

"Sorry, it's not French."

"Just so it's not Californian," Bodie shared a look
with his aunt. "Our friends back home wouldn't
approve."

"Then you do call France home now?" Sheila asked the
question Ray wanted to ask and dared not.

Bodie had to consider the question. He'd spoken
without thinking. Home had always been just a word,
the definition of which changed as necessary. "Guess
it depends," he finally replied. "Wherever I live is
home. When I'm in France, I go home to where my aunt
lives. But my flat in Paris is home, too. My real home
is Brewsterfield. I belong at there, even if I'm not
living there."

"Are you thinking of coming back to stay then?"

"Yes." Bodie looked directly at Ray. "Forgot how much
there was to miss here."

Ray coloured under Bodie's continued scrutiny.

"And you Claire?" Sheila didn't notice, or ignored,
the undertones. "Do you like de Villiers mansion so
much?"

"No," she admitted. "I have thought about moving back.
To a nice little flat in London perhaps."

"Aunt Claire," Bodie returned his attention to the
conversation. "I thought you'd live with me at
Brewsterfield."

"That's yours now, I would never intrude."

Bodie snorted, almost spilling his wine. "Don't be
absurd. You belong there as much as I do. You're
family, you belong in my home no matter where it is."

"Thank you." Claire took a sip of her cider. "Well
then, perhaps a room at the house and a flat in
London. With enough room so Bodie can have a place in
the city too."

"Why?"

"You'll need a place when you're in London for
Parliament."

"Oh Christ. I'd rather raise pigs."

"I think you'd better stick to what you know," Doyle
added his opinion.

Claire and Sheila laughed at Bodie's glare. Any
response was interrupted by a tall, very English
looking gentleman. "So, Mrs. Doyle, you couldn't stay
away from my wonderful establishment any longer. I was
beginning to think you'd gone off my trifle."

"Host, cook, dogsbody. The menu is on the wall there."
He pointed to a chalkboard above the serving counter.
"You can go up to the counter to place your orders.
Everything is excellent. Of course, I have to say
that. I run the place. But you can ask anyone."
Roberts turned to the next table. "Right Christine."

"The food is great," the woman agreed. "And he doesn't
pay us much to say so."

"Oh, thank you," Roberts said, "Now Sheila's guests
won't want to eat here. Well if you order anything you
don't like, just give it to Ray. He's always been too
skinny."

Bodie laughed loudly.

"I wouldn't laugh too quickly, Bodie was it? Strange
name. Still, you look like you'd eat anything. I hope
you can appreciate the fine food we have here."

Pete walked away, leaving the men looking stricken and
the women laughing.

The meal was excellent as advertised and the company
enjoyable, enlivened occasionally by the proprietor
of the establishment who presided over the dining room
like a warm up man for the main act. For all the
camaraderie of the evening, there was still a measure
of strain between Bodie and Ray. Bodie was not as
unrestrained as usual and Ray was almost verbose,
except that most of his talk was not directed at
Bodie. If either woman noticed Bodie's hand they
didn't mention it.

They lingered over dessert, staying until shortly
before closing time. Once back at Vale View both
Claire and Sheila opted for an early night. Ray had
gone out to check the animals. Bodie took a small
brandy into the sitting room. It was likely tonight
would be spent alone. A sobering thought -- a thought
he did not wish to entertain in a sober condition.
Despite the wine before, during and after dinner and
now brandy, he felt the liquor not at all. Any more
spirits and he'd have the hangover tomorrow without
the pleasant tipsiness tonight. He finished the last
few drops and went upstairs.

A knock on the door brought him out a liquor enhanced
doze. A second knock was scarcely louder. Bodie tugged
on a shirt over his briefs and opened the door.

"Please, can I come in," Doyle whispered.

Bodie moved away from the door, not issuing an
invitation but giving permission. Doyle shut the door
behind him but only entered far enough to see the
whole room.

"Let me apologize for today. I. . .over-reacted."

"Yes."

"If we know each other much longer, we'll be spending
all our time apologizing."

"There are better ways to spend our time." Bodie sat
on the bed, legs spread and forearms resting on his
knees.

"I want to."

"You want to share my bed, but I can't share your
life? This is just a holiday affair then? A diversion?"

"No." Doyle denied quickly. "I mean I don't know. I
like the sex. I like you, god knows why. I want us to
get to know each other."

"Then why --?"

"It's stupid."

"Tell me anyway."

"I wanted to show you the art myself. Stupid."

"Not very logical," Bodie stood and moved close enough
to touch Doyle's face. "And I understand. I'm sorry
too."

Doyle returned the caress. "Take me to bed," he
whispered. Bodie helped Doyle strip, leaving the
clothes draped on the chair and lay on the bed pulling
Doyle on top of him. Their love was an easy release.
Doyle's cock squeezed tight between Bodie's legs, the
pressure against Bodie's balls and the friction on his
cock, trapped between Ray's belly and his own enough
to satisfy both.

Recovery was equally slow and easy. Doyle rolled off
Bodie, cuddling close in the small bed.

"Tell me about your art," Bodie asked.

"Not much to tell. I was only at school for a year.
Not enough time for more than the basics."

"Did you want to stay on, then?"

"Oh, yeah. I did the right thing but I really miss it.
The city, the university atmosphere..."

"People interested in more than farming and pigs."

"Yeah. The people around here are good people but they
don't have a wide variety of interests, most of them."

Bodie nibbled Doyle's ear. "I'd like to see the rest
of your work."

"The oils are mostly still life and landscapes. I also
do portraits and figures in pen and ink and charcoal.
I'll show you. Some of them."

Bodie's morning was spent staying out of his aunt's
way. Too long in her company and she was sure to ask
questions. Like why he seemed content to stay at Vale
View doing next to nothing, or why his right hand was
black and blue. So he found a book in the parlour,
took it out to a nearby tree and spent the morning
reading.

At lunch Doyle asked if Bodie wanted to go swimming.
He almost refused; thoughts of what he could get up to
with Ray, in the water, changed his mind. They walked
to the same pond they'd visited by horseback.

"How likely are we to be visited? Neighbours, or
kids?" Bodie asked. The area was well protected by
trees and bushes, but everyone in the town must be
well aware of the pond.

Bodie watched instead as Doyle stripped down to Y-
fronts. It was a sight he knew he'd never tire of.

"Bodie, you can't go in like that."

Bodie was much slower disrobing. By the time he was
down to his briefs Ray had already shed his remaining
scrap of cloth and was splashing around in the pool.
Bodie quickly joined him. He hadn't often had the
opportunity or desire to swim so unencumbered. The
water felt wonderful, the currents playing around his
cock and balls cooling the heat. The effect was only
momentary however as Ray swam up close. He was
splashed, wetting that part of him that was still dry.
Retaliation was quick. Bodie dived into the water past
his tormentor and before Ray had a chance to do more
than turn around, grabbed him about the waist and
pulled. Ray lost his balance and fell on top of Bodie,
both of them falling under the water. They fought,
each trying to get the upper hand and stay above
water. Neither was able to win this game. The physical
contact turned the fight into something altogether
different. Bodie came up from the last dunking and
again grabbed Ray. This time he just held on letting
their naked bodies rub together.

Ray kissed Bodie, holding on tight while Bodie's hands
teased down his back.

"Is there anyplace a little less conspicuous?" Bodie
asked when his mouth was released. "Somewhere nearby
and a little more comfortable?"

"You're worried about comfort?" Ray tried to sound
scandalised.

"If we come, here, standing up, we're both likely to
drown."

Ray couldn't deny the possibility. He led Bodie out of
the pond grabbed up the large towels and the rug
they'd brought along and moved towards a grassy area
that was protected on three sides by willow trees.

"Oh yeah." Doyle stretched out beside Bodie. They
touched, kissed, letting the desire build slowly,
feasting on each other. Bodie moved, positioning his
head at Ray's groin, his own aching organ near to
Ray's mouth . He wouldn't ask Ray to suck him. It
might take the less experienced man awhile to decide
he wanted that. He would give him the opportunity.

For himself he wanted nothing more than Ray's hot cock
in his mouth. To taste Ray's seed pouring down his
throat. His full attention was on what he was doing.
A small part of his mind knew that Ray was doing some
exploration of his own. Hands rubbed his thighs and
ass, played with his balls and pulled his cock to
fullness. His mind suddenly switched direction when
his foreskin was pushed gently back and a warm wetness
covered the head. Intelligence disappeared. Muscles
and emotion took over. When a finger began to rub
behind his balls, tentatively pushing further back,
Bodie gave a muffled cry. He tried to restrain his
thrusting as he came. Ray was not as controlled. Bodie's
mouth was bruised by Ray's orgasms.

"Getting cold?" Bodie pulled one of the towels over
and cleaned and dried them both.

"It is cooling down." Ray finally observed.

"So let's get dressed and go home."

They arrived back at Vale View to find a note waiting
for them on the kitchen table.

Ray,
Claire and I have gone for a girl's night
out. Plenty of food in the icebox - Mum

"Guess we're on our own tonight," Ray said as he
handed the note to Bodie.

"That's unfortunate," Bodie teased. He pulled Ray into
his arms. "What'll we do, all alone, together?"

"Well, I need to feed the pigs," Ray started as Bodie
kissed his cheek, "And milk the cow," Bodie's lips
went to Ray's neck, "and make dinner," on to
shoulders, "Bodie--"

The kissing continued.

"Bodie!"

Bodie stopped.

"If I run out of chores are you going to stop?"

"No. Yes. Temporarily. Go do them and we can have the
whole evening alone together." Bodie played with one
of Ray's nipples through the heavy cotton shirt.

"I don't think I can do anything while you're doing
that."

Bodie's hand jerked back. "Ok, I'm going to change."

"I'll go do the chores, you can find something for
dinner." The men separated to their tasks. Ray came
back into the kitchen to find Bodie making an omelette
and warming some vegetables. He got a couple of beers
from the cabinet and sat at the kitchen table,
watching his lover cook.

"I got a note too." Bodie said when he took a minute
away from the stove. He handed the slip of paper to
Ray.

Bodie,
Sheila and I will be out for the evening.
Until at least eleven.
Love, your aunt."

"Is this a hint?"

"Hint? Huh! I think it was an order."

"Does she often order you to make love to men?"

"In this case? She would."

Bodie dished the food onto two plates and set them on
the table.

"What do you mean?" Ray took a forkful of omelette.
"This is great."

"One of the few things I make very well." Bodie mostly
played with the omelette. It was the perfect
opportunity to tell Ray about Andre. He wanted and
needed to tell him but it was not easy to begin. "I've
been depressed the last two months. My lover, Andre,
left me."

"What happened?" Ray asked gently.

"He loved his family more than me. They didn't approve
of me, of our relationship. He wasn't strong enough to
fight them."

"I'm sorry Bodie. Sorry you were hurt."

"Ta. But I'm over him now." The declaration was
definite but Bodie could read the doubt in Ray's eyes.
"Ok, mostly over him."

"How long were you -- uh -- together?"

"Two years. We'd known each other for years before
that." Bodie forced himself to try the omelette he
didn't really want. At the first bite his hunger
asserted itself. Though he barely tasted the food, he
cleared his plate.

"Dessert?" Ray asked.

"After." Bodie stood up, took Ray's hands and pulled
him to his feet.

"What're we doin'?"

"I have a few plans. I was hoping you'd show me your
room. I've had nasty thoughts about you and me and
your double bed ever since I saw it."

"No etchings," Ray said, mocking sadness. "Paintings.
Just not the same, is it?"

"I don't want to see them anyway, not till later."

Ray was almost dragged up the stairs. Once there the
urgency calmed. Bodie continued with his attentions
but Ray noticed that his eyes were wandering.

"Let me show you," Ray said.

"You don't have to." Bodie didn't dissemble well. He'd
stepped back and was looking around the room
curiously.

"I want to." Ray pulled the covering off the picture
on his easel. The picture he'd stopped working on
almost two months ago. He'd done nothing but pencil
sketches since then. He'd never heard of artist's
block but he was beginning to conclude it was just
what he had. Nothing he'd started was outside his
abilities. He just wanted to do a painting of his
favourite place and to put himself and another person
in it. Two people in love along a riverbank. The
background work had gone well, enough of a start that
he'd begun the figures. Over and over he'd tried to
put people in the setting. They were always wrong.
Something kept him from completing the scene.

"It's better than I remembered." Bodie told him. "How
long will it take to finish?"

"Forever. I can't seem to make it do what I want." He
went to his closet. "I have a few I've finished." He
brought out three canvases. Three scenes of the area
around Vale View. Bodie looked at all of them then
chose one to really focus on. It was the house and
barn seen from the driveway. He could see some pigs by
the barn and Sheila was walking up to feed them. It
was more than just an image, there was feeling behind
it. Bodie could see the calm and love that he had come
to associate with Vale View.

"There's something -- this painting is ..."

"What?" The defensiveness was clear in Doyle's voice.

"I like it," Bodie said quickly. "I see what makes
this place special, just looking at it."

"It's yours." Doyle put the other paintings away.

"You can't just give it to me."

"OK, pay me for it." Ray grinned.

"What's a fair price?"

Ray refused to give the matter the serious
consideration Bodie felt it deserved. "I'll tell you
when I think it's paid for." He accompanied his words
by unbuttoning Bodie's shirt, taking it off then
starting on the rest of Bodie's clothes. Ray had not
until now been so forward. Bodie was shocked into
stillness for a moment. Then he recovered and
performed the same duty for Ray. Naked, they lay side
by side on the bed. Ray kept the lead. He was all over
Bodie, hands, mouth, even feet playing on the body
beside him.

"Ray, please. I've been controlled for four days,
after weeks of abstinence. I need a nice slow build-
up."

Given the reason Ray was willing to comply. It was an
opportunity to lose a few more inhibitions. Bodie
carefully caressed or kissed or licked every part of
Ray's body. His attention was returned in almost equal
detail. Ray was still not as comfortable with his new-
found sexuality.

The build-up was more than sufficient. Ray came first,
then turned his full attention to teasing and coaxing
Bodie, lifting him closer and closer to orgasm, never
letting him relax yet never bringing him quite close
enough.

"Ray--"

The young man found compassion for the soft plea. One
hand squeezed Bodie's nipple, the other tightened on
the cock. He let the imminent orgasm explode into his
mouth. The first pulse coincided with a yell. It
sounded to Doyle as if Bodie were being tortured. He
kept his hand around Bodie's cock but lifted his head.
It also looked as if his lover was being hurt. The
muscles in his face were straining, his eyes were shut
painfully tight. The after effect went on for long
seconds. Doyle moved next to Bodie, watching
carefully.

"'S okay," Bodie mumbled. Small tremors still quivered
over his skin. He opened his eyes wide a few times.

"I didn't hurt you did I?"

"No." Bodie hugged his lover. "That was totally
fantastic."

"Sounded like I was killing you."

"Yeah." Bodie grinned smugly. "Always sound like that
when I really fly. 'S why I had to control myself till
now." A few small kisses gently touched Ray's mouth.
"Can't really warn anyone."

"You didn't know that until this evening." Bodie
protested. "Guess we'll have to stay here tonight,
anyway. Be too noisy, both of us moving to my room."

"Yes Bodie. We can stay here tonight."

"Good. And as we're awake, we may as well make it
worthwhile." An unresisting Doyle was pulled on top of
Bodie. They rolled and tussled, quietly, until Ray
ended up on top again with Bodie lying on his stomach
this time. Both men were thoroughly excited. Ray took
advantage of the situation and thrust against the bum
underneath him. Before he realized that there was a
problem he was sitting on the floor, bruised and
confused.

"Bodie?" He stayed where he was, worried to move.
After two minutes with no answer he tried again,
kneeling up beside the bed. "Bodie did I hurt you?"
The other man was sitting on the bed, arms and legs
relaxed but not there mentally. Ray slowly got into
bed and pulled the duvet over his legs and around his
waist. "Bodie, what'd I do?"

"Nothing. It's my problem, not yours. Sorry."

"Why'd you throw me out of bed?"

"Automatic reaction. What you were doing, brought back
some bad memories."

Doyle could hear how hard it was for Bodie to talk. He
didn't like to push; he wanted very much to help.
"You don't like to be fucked."

"I don't know. I've never been able to let anyone do
me. Look, it's old news -- history. Forget it."

"No."

Bodie finally looked at Ray.

"You can't forget it, I won't either."

"Ok." Bodie paused and sucked in a breath. One hand
began to twist the bedclothes into knots. "My aunt's
husband tried to rape me. He didn't, but I haven't
been able to let anyone fuck me. Even Andre. Took
weeks before I'd even go to bed with him."

"Then I owe him. For now, why don't we just go to
sleep."

Ray cautiously put a hand on Bodie's leg. When it
wasn't removed he slowly took his lover into an
embrace and coaxed him to lie down. It was moments
before Ray felt the muscles in Bodie's arms and
shoulders relax. Once sure that Bodie would be able to
sleep, Ray let himself drift off.

Ray spent the morning on routine chores, freeing his
mind to wrestle with last nights revelations. Bodie
was not as experienced as Ray had assumed. And he had
been badly hurt years ago, so much so that he was
still not fully recovered. Ray was sure if a man had
tried to rape him, he would never again have found men
sexually attractive. He could only be thankful that, for
whatever reason, Bodie did.

He had seemed fully recovered this morning, more than
ready to indulge in a little foreplay before Ray had
to get up. Ray was too astute to think this meant the
trouble was over. Bodie'd been living with the problem
for a long time. How long he wasn't sure. Bodie's
account had been sparse of detail. Analysing what
little had been said, the attempted rape must have
occurred at least three or four years ago. The longer
it had been, the more time Bodie had had to recover
but it also meant that he would have been younger when
it happened. A child would be scarred by a rape in a
different way than an adult. It was more than Ray knew
how to solve. He did know how he could help. He would
be very patient with his lover, at least about sex. He
hadn't even considered making love to Bodie in that
way, he could easily refrain.

Having satisfied himself about Bodie, he could not
stop the thought that kept teasing at the edges of his
curiosity. Maybe Bodie couldn't let himself be fucked,
that shouldn't stop him from being the dominant
partner. Doyle found himself on edge - half scared
and half desperate with desire. He wanted to offer this
to Bodie. To give himself in this way. To satisfy his
curiosity. The only thing was to convince Bodie of
what he wanted.

Bodie had indeed recovered from the shock of last
night but he still felt bad about his reaction. It had
not been easy to tell Ray the reason. It was still not
easy to think of. He hadn't been able to tell Doyle
why he had never fucked Andre. His ex-lover had
occasionally asked to be taken. Bodie had always
refused. His memory of his uncle's pawing at him,
telling him how .he would like it if he relaxed, his
own lack of control during orgasm, all conspired to
keep him tied to the abuse. Months passed before he
even thought of sex. He had a few casual affairs in
University but they were only casual. The lack of
emotional intensity kept his demons from waking.
Andre's entree into his life brought the demon awake.
At first, he was unable to retain an erection at the
thought of penetration. Later as he learned to control
himself when necessary he began to believe he would be
capable of the active role in sex. But Andre had shown
little interest and so Bodie had never mentioned his
belief. There were other methods of release that
required no control on his part and they were more
pleasurable for the freedom.

That night it was Bodie who sneaked through the
hallway to Ray's room.

"I wondered if you'd get here before I could come to
you."

"I couldn't let that huge bed go to waste."

"Then let's put it to use."

Despite his words Ray was hanging back, almost shy.
Their embrace was not. Love sparked and warmed the two
men with its heat. Without noticing the transition
they moved from the middle of Ray's room, fully
clothed to lie naked on the bed. Each man had come to
know the other's body. Their loving was easy,
knowledge adding to the pleasure they could give and
receive. Ray was careful to not incite Bodie's demon.
Bodie gave his best to make Ray forget last night's
bruises.

"Bodie," Ray licked at a small, hard nipple. "I want
you to make love to me. I want to feel you inside."

Involuntarily, Bodie s every muscle tensed. "How would
you know that? You've never even had a finger up your
ass.

"Yes I have," Ray meant to stop there but the look on
Bodie's face made him want to explain. "I tried it. In
the shower this morning."

Bodie grabbed Ray's hand, folded down all but one
finger and measured the finger against his erection.
"I won't hurt you."

Ray chose to ignore what Bodie had clearly meant and
interpreted the words differently. "I know you won't.
I trust you."

"Why? Hell, Doyle, in this I'm not much more
experienced than you."

"Fuck me Bodie." Doyle gave up the soft approach.
After their loving yesterday he knew he could tease
Bodie into sex. The larger man would no longer be able
nor want to resist. He used every move, every touch
he'd learned and practised over the last few days. He
took Bodie higher, harder, needier. Bodie was only
controlled enough that he could pay some attention to
Ray as well. When he thought he would explode if he
didn't come, put a tube of cream in his hand and
turned onto his belly.

"Sorry, Ray," All the excitement had suddenly drained
form his body. He put the tube onto the bedside table
and rubbed Ray's back and squeezed his ass. Ray turned
onto his side in order to be able to see. The first
thing he noticed was that the erection which had been
seconds from orgasm was now only semi erect. Bodie
followed the green gaze and smiled ironically. "Sorry.
I want you, too. But if I'm going to love you that
way--it's gonna have to be slow and careful.
Otherwise my friend there goes on strike." Bodie
touched his 'friend'. There was no hint of response.
Doyle had to accept Bodie's warning. "Maybe we should
forget this for now."

"No, we shouldn't." Doyle's hand replaced Bodie's. "I
won't push."

Bodie arched into the caresses. As quickly as he had
lost his erection it returned. The interruption slowed
the proceedings enough that Bodie knew his control was
back. Or as much as could be expected given his
companion. Ray was the most enthralling lover he'd
known, in or out of bed. He got turned on just
watching the green-eyed siren.

Bodie retrieved the cream from the bedside table,
squeezed a large glob into his left palm. He closed
his fingers over to warm it and pushed Ray once again
on his stomach. A fingertip's worth of cream was
rubbed into the warm crease of Ray's ass. Heat, and
Bodie's wandering hand spread it much further than
necessary. The next dab of cream was left right on the
clenched muscle. "Relax," Bodie whispered, licking
Ray's shoulder. He put his fingertip at the puckered
opening and slowly pushed in to the first knuckle,
feeling only slight resistance. He continued bringing
cream-laden finger to the appropriate spot, each time
pushing further in until he felt no resistance. Doyle
had begun to move, rubbing against the bed.
Understanding Ray's fidgeting, Bodie spread the legs
enough to kneel between then. His left hand, with some
cream still in the palm slid under Ray's body and
captured what he was seeking -- a hot, hard cock.

As Doyle began to hump into his hand he put two
fingers at the entrance to the well-lubed ass and let
Ray absorb the fingers as he thrust. The third finger
was not as easy. Doyle stopped moving.

"Ok?" Bodie kissed the middle of Ray's back.

"Yeah." Ray's voice was deeper than usual. "Feels
strange."

"Should I stop?"

"No. I want more than just a finger inside me."

"Three actually."

Doyle lifted his hips off the bed as if testing the
truth of Bodie's statement. The fingers slid fully
into the tight channel. He stroked the smooth, moist
interior flesh. Bands of muscle squeezed and released
the intruders, finally relaxing in acceptance. Bodie
removed his fingers and positioned himself above the
man spread and waiting. His cock poked at the opening
to Ray's body, sliding past its target only to
return.

Ray pushed back. Bodie thrust forward. The men
connected. Bodie halted mid-thrust knowing that Ray
would be feeling at least some discomfort.

Doubtful and unable to deny the need in Ray's voice
and in his own body, Bodie sheathed himself. His
hesitation to ensure Ray's comfort was very temporary.
Their bodies began a simple dance, moving as one to a
shared internal harmony. Nerve endings carried the
melody, their thrusts set the beat. The tune was not
complex but it was full of love and desire and beauty.
The crescendo came quickly but neither man wanted to
prolong the ecstasy. Their song soared to the heights
then drifted slowly back to reality leaving the men
content and replete.

Whispered endearments ushered in their sleep.

It was no surprise the next morning when Ray
discovered he'd overslept. Thankfully so had the rest
of the household. Once he'd checked that no one was
likely to make an awkward appearance, he woke Bodie
enough to get him back into his own bed then went out
to his chores, leaving a teapot full on the kitchen
counter. He was sure his mother would appreciate it,
whenever she woke. An hour and a half later Ray came
back inside. A new pot of tea was ready and waiting on
the middle of the stove. He made a cup and entered the
hall. He meant to go into the parlour and relax for a
few minutes. Claire's voice coming from the dining
room made him halt.

"--leaving early. I'd like to see a little more of the
country before we stop at Brewsterfield."

"When?" his mother's voice asked.

"Oh, the end of the week."

Ray didn't wait to hear more. He dropped his tea cup
in the sink on his way out the door. As always, the
barn became his refuge. He wiped tears out of his
eyes. Tears he told himself were caused by anger.
Anger at himself for being taken in by Bodie. Allowing
himself to think he could mean anything to a man like
Bodie, in the situation, had been naive. He was a
farmer, Bodie was a multi-lingual, sophisticated
peer. They had known each other for less than two
weeks, and those days had been often turbulent. The
thought popped into his mind - I'm simply a substitute
for Andre - and he couldn't crush it.

"Ray?" Bodie's voice carried into the barn. "Doyle?
You up here?"

Ray desperately wanted to avoid Bodie but it seemed
impossible. If he stayed here he'd have to see him,
talk to him. In order to escape Vale View he'd have to
at least confront the man. Confrontation would be
easier than hiding.

Ray headed down the hill towards the house,
specifically the garage.

Bodie intercepted him. "Ray, where're--"

"Leave me alone, Bodie," Ray said, avoiding Bodie's
eyes. "Go away."

Bodie's shock lasted long enough for Ray to get to the
car and drive off.

When Bodie had re-awakened in his own bed, his first
thought had been of Ray. It was still early enough
that the curly-haired man had probably not had
breakfast. He dressed and went looking for Ray to
share breakfast. Claire and Sheila were in the
breakfast room but Bodie snuck by without paying them
much attention.

Ray's words, his sudden departure were inexplicable.
Having been so strangely deserted, Bodie went back
inside. Claire and Sheila were sitting at the kitchen
table over a cup of tea.

"Good morning, Bodie," Sheila greeted.

"Morning," Claire repeated as Bodie kissed her cheek.
"I have a question. How would you feel about leaving
early? Driving around the countryside a bit on the way
to Brewster-field."

Suspicion began to form. "When did you decide to do
this?"

"This morning. I was talking to Sheila and--"

Bodie was already out the front door.

He was in Woodfalls before he realized the futility of
finding someone driving when he was on foot. If he'd
had any sense he would have taken the rental car his
aunt had hired a few days ago. He had been too
preoccupied to remember it. Approaching the only place
in town he recognized he went in for a drink. As it
was still early he had to settle for a coffee. He
wondered how long it would take for Ray to return to
Vale View. And how long after that before he would be
willing to listen to anything Bodie had to say.

Bodie's own concerns nagged at him. He knew better but
couldn't help thinking that perhaps he was the cause
of Ray's anger. Ray was probably sore after last
night. Certainly the small amount of discomfort
wouldn't upset him so. Of course, Bodie had fallen
asleep almost immediately afterwards. Perhaps he'd
been too caught up in his own pleasures and had hurt
Ray more than he'd thought. He wallowed in his
imagined guilt for a second cup of coffee then set it
aside. Ray had run because he'd heard Claire talking
about leaving Vale View. That was all. He would simply
have to convince the stupid berk that he wasn't
leaving. Claire's idea did bring a plan of his own to
mind however. Maybe a small trip was just what was
required.

Ray drove around most of the day. There was work to do
back home but everything except the cow and pigs could
wait for tomorrow. The pigs could be fed anytime and
the cow didn't need milking 'til 4pm. When he finally
felt under some kind of control he headed home. As he
drove onto the gravel drive he received another shock.
The rental car was gone. Every fantasy he had never
let himself dream, every possibility he'd never
considered, all were torn from his heart in that
instant. The wound was too deep to feel, not yet.
Habit took over. He put the car in the garage, closed
the garage door, trudged up the hill. The pigs were
fed, the cow milked without benefit of thought.
Uppermost in his mind was the knowledge that tomorrow
or the next day he was going to be very, very angry
and hurt.

Chores complete he went inside.

"Mum, I'm home." The house was unusually quiet. The
kitchen was clean, empty and nothing was cooking.
"Mum?" The dining room and his mother's bedroom proved
empty as well. The parlour door was closed. If the
telly was on it was possible his mother just hadn't
heard him. He walked in. Bodie was seated on the
settee in front of a cheerfully burning fire sipping
brandy.

"There's one here for you," Bodie said quietly. He
brought the glass over the where Ray was still
standing and put it in his hand. "Drink this, you look
like you need it."

Ray finished the brandy in one swallow. "Bodie?"

Before the man had a chance to speak or move, Ray
threw the glass into the wall near the fireplace and
swung. His fist connected with Bodie's jaw, sending
him sprawling back onto the floor. "What the hell are
you doing here?"

"I love you." It was evident Bodie was almost as
surprised at these words as Ray but he didn't retract
them. He stayed on the floor until he realized that
Ray was in no condition to hit anyone again.
Recovering his own unbroken glass, he filled it, put
it in Ray's hand and brought the quiescent man over to
the settee. "You should've asked instead of just
running." Bodie came right to the point. "I didn't
even know what aunt Claire was thinking of until after
you left this morning."

Ray sipped at the drink without thought. "You're not
leaving?"

"No." Bodie poured more brandy into Ray's glass. "Not
now. Not for days. Not without talking to you."

"Oh god!" Ray put his glass down before his shaking
spilled the drink. "I was -- I thought you didn't --
I'm sorry--"

Bodie gathered the man into his arms, wiping away the
tears which spilled down his face. He held Ray until
the shaking stopped then released him and returned the
glass to his hand. "Drink up."

"Trying to make me drunk?" Ray's smile quivered.

"Just want you to relax." Bodie corrected. "I have a
surprise for you."

"I don't think I can live through another surprise."

Bodie chuckled, a rich sound full of lewd intent.
"You'll like this." He kissed Ray, a light contact of
lips that became another kind of promise.

"You're right, I liked that. Not much of a surprise
though." Ray said when they separated. "Where's mum
and Claire?"

"Surprise." The word was whispered. "Your mother took
my place on my aunt's travels around the countryside.
I promised them the two of us could look after the
farm and ourselves."

"Gone?" Ray's eyes lost a little of the sparkle the
drink had restored.

"Ray, it's ok isn't it?" the worry in Bodie's voice
brought Ray back.

"Ok? Leaving me alone here with you? Oh, Bodie," Ray
threw himself on top of Bodie, knocking them both onto
the floor. His emotions, anything but stable at the
moment, exploded. He covered Bodie's face and neck
with kisses in between trying to control giggles which
were threatening to verge on hysterics. The love, the
contact, the heat of the fire, inside and out, the
caring between the two, the effects of the alcohol all
combined to keep the emotional outbreak under control.
Calm once again, he cuddled closer.

"Of course, I'm not sure the farm will last through
your 'help'," he teased.

Bodie simply smiled.

"How long do we have the house to ourselves?"

"Ten days."

The sparkle of green eyes became incandescent emerald.
"Wanna find out how loud we can get?"

Bodie's response made words unnecessary. Ray was an
equal partner in the proceedings. He had Bodie's shirt
half off before the man realized just what his lover
had in mind.

"Supper's in the oven," Bodie mentioned, gently
removing Ray's hands from his body. "Your mother left
it for us."

Doyle look at Bodie quizzically for a moment. "I'll go
turn it off."

Bodie followed Doyle, waiting at the foot of the
staircase. When Ray came out of the kitchen he started
up the stairs but Doyle stopped him. "Wait here."

Ray rushed up the stairs, pulled the rug from his bed
and hurried back down.

"Why are you stripping the bed?"

"Don't worry, you're next." Without an explanation
Bodie was taken by the hand and pulled into the
parlour. Ray dropped the blanket on the carpet, took
of f his clothes, and laid down spreading the blanket
in front of the fire. "You want help, then?"

Bodie just looked down at the nude man, more shocked
than excited. "Here, in the middle of the parlour?"

"No one's home. They won't be back for ten days." Ray
grinned. "I've always wanted to do it in front of a
fire."

"I'm going to check the doors."

By the time Bodie returned from his self appointed
task, Ray had managed to control his mirth. Bodie
still felt very uncomfortable but he stretched out on
the blanket. "What're you smirking at?"

"You." Ray knew his answer was sure to cause trouble
but he couldn't help the truth. "You're like a guilty
kid. I thought France and sex were synonymous."

"I only lived there."

Ray stopped trying to seduce the Bodie-shaped block of
ice beside him. Selfishly, he felt a surge of
confidence. This man beside him may have had every
advantage his money and position could offer, but he
was also a bundle of neuroses. For some reason this
knowledge made Ray less envious. "OK, let's go."

"Where?" Bodie continued to gaze into the fire.

"Up to my room. We can start our own fire."

Bodie finally looked at his companion. "Pretty stupid,
huh?"

"I'm sure I have some equally strange aversions."

As is so often the case, the willingness to compromise
made the actual compromise unnecessary. Bodie
unbuttoned his shirt and draped it over the fire
irons. He lifted his bum and pushed off jeans and
pants. Even so close to the fire he was temporarily
chilled. His nipples promptly responded. Ray offered
further stimulation. Bodie pushed into the pressure,
chest against Ray's hands, hips into Ray's thigh.

"Glad you came back, gave me the chance to explain,"
Bodie said. His lips explored the expanse of skin
before him. "I would've been lonely here alone.

"I'd never let you be lonely," Ray promised. "Let me
love you."

The fire flared. Bodie's fair skin glowed pink, Ray's
was turned to dark honey, body hair reddened by the
flames. The contrast was one more difference between
them. A difference that was an excuse for celebration
rather than discord. Neither man needed the excuse.

The love between them had already been half confessed.
Ray acknowledged to himself his omission but wasn't
yet able to return the avowal Bodie had made so
easily. Not that his own feelings were inferior to
Bodie's, he was simply less able to speak them. In the
circumstance, speechlessness was not a problem. As
daylight faded into evening, the fire grew brighter
and the heat in the room increased, magnified by two
men in love.

The physical expression of their passion was a slow
ascent.

Ray peaked first, moaning his satisfaction into
Bodie's thigh. Close behind, Bodie thrust into the
offered mouth and yelled. Expecting the cry if not the
volume, Ray took all that Bodie offered, then moved to
hold the shaking man in his arms.

Bodie recovered to find Ray deep in thought, staring
at his face with a strange, satisfied smile that
hinted at something other than sexual satisfaction.

"Ray?" Bodie grabbed the finger which was drawing on
his chest. Bodie waited until he was sure he had at
least part of Ray's attention. "Something wrong?"

"No. Something's right. That picture you saw. The one
I couldn't finish. I can finish it now. I know what I
was looking for." Ray gave Bodie a blinding smile,
letting show all that he found difficult tosay.

This time Bodie's words were deliberate. "I love you."

Warm, replete and complacent, Bodie cuddled the man in
his arms. His past had gone a long way towards healing
in the last eight days, the future looked auspicious
and the present, well, 'sans peur et sans reproche',
or more appropriate to the situation and country,
brill. The sparkle in Ray's eyes let Bodie know the
feeling was mutual. It was all the reassurance he
needed.