What Dreams May Come

The Post, never one for sensational journalism, is definitely sticking its head in the sand this morning. But this cover got me to fantasizing (as I often do) about other fake nominees I'd like to see make the headlines.

Firstly and lastly, it would have to be Cuba Gooding, Jr. He's handsome, he's winning, and he'd be the first black man and black actor to ever make it to the White House (take that, Will Smith!)

And poor Cuba. He's been in a string of bombs post-Oscar win, including playing a hetero/homo cruise dweller in Boat Trip, and a straight-up retard in Radio. (Please click on link. Trust me.) He's one Kabbalah bracelet away from being declared an official has-been. He needs this.

Actually, I'm not totally against John Edwards. Maybe he can channel the spirit of Ladybird Johnson and get her top secret recipe for "Trout and About Casserole", which sources say she took with her to the grave.