Text Illustration: Annie Dillard, in her book The Writing Life, tells of an experiment that was done with butterflies. The experiment involved placing a male butterfly with a female butterfly of his own species. Then they placed a painted cardboard butterfly alongside them. The cardboard butterfly was bigger than the female ó bigger than any female could ever be. The male ignored the living female butterfly next to him and went to the painted cardboard butterfly over and over again. Dillard adds, ďNearby, the real, living female opens and closes her wings in vain.Ē It is a picture of the world in which countless males are trapped today. Staring at painted cardboard butterflies they are squandering their own resources and defrauding the real, living, breathing females in their homes. But then you donít have to establish a relationship with cardboard butterflies. You donít have to put up with their failures ó nor do they have to live with you and discover yours. There are no expectations from you. You donít have to communicate with them. An inviting smile is painted on their faces and they donít even know you. Perhaps it is better that way.