Caring More About Making Money Than Making a Family

According to The Federalist’s article, “Significantly more Americans ages 13 to 22 say it’s important to buy a home and make ‘a lot of money’ than to marry, have children, and commit to a faith, according to a new late-April survey of 1,600 randomly chosen participants.”

How is it going for these women who made the decision to pursue higher education and careers instead of families during this lockdown? Are they enjoying their fancy apartment or house and expensive car, clothes, and shoes while living alone? Do all of these things bring meaning into their lives? Do they enjoy being entertained by social media all day and going to bed every night alone? Just how fulfilling is the stuff that they have accumulated since they decided stuff is more important than relationships because this is, in fact, what they have decided?

We live in the most wealthy nation that has ever existed in the history of the world but I can tell you one thing, it’s not money that fulfills us. It’s relationships and living according to God’s will for us that satisfies.

I have heard from many women during this lockdown that they now love being home full time. They love being the one home with their children. They love learning new things to do around their homes. They love the unhurried pace of life. They love not running here and there in their cars and being away from their children all day. Many are even deciding to homeschool their children.

Are all of these young women who have put family life on hold, maybe even indefinitely, finding out how empty their lives are now? Are they seeing that maybe, just maybe they passed up the best things in life and believed the lies told to them by culture? Are they reconsidering the direction their lives have taken? Is living alone with a bunch of stuff a good thing?

It’s amazing how little most of us really need to live on. I think many of us have have figured this out during this time. We really are only buying the essentials. We are being more careful with how we spend money and not wasting food. We are not taking for granted the bounty that we have anymore. We understand the importance of family. Family are the ones most likely to come through when there’s a need.

Don’t seek the things of this world, women. Our economy could crash in an instant. You could lose your job and your stuff. Then what? For those who have invested in their families, they will still be rich in relationships even if the economy crashes. We will then have to lean upon Almighty God to provide for us and He promises us that He will! We trust Him. He owns the cattle on a thousand hills and He loves us.

I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.
Psalm 37:35

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26 thoughts on “Caring More About Making Money Than Making a Family”

Lori,
I have to ask-do you regret having children and getting married? I have seen a lot of comments online of people saying that you do and that’s why you condemn single, free, successful women-because you’re jealous of them.

Getting married and having children are the best decisions I have ever made, Darryl! I wouldn’t change a thing about either of these. I teach what the Lord commands that older women teach younger women because His ways are perfect. Yes, many despise God and His ways and love to mock those who love Him, but this doesn’t concern me; for greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world.

May I share my perspective as a 58 year old woman who chose not to have children and had some measure of success in the corporate world. I am totally burned out on the rat race. I have given all my years to companies that don’t even bat an eye when they let you go, even if you excel at your job. I was laid off due to Covid 19, and it is very painful to be working one minute and receive a call telling you that your employment has been terminated the next. I have longed for home life for a couple of years now. Call it getting older or burn out, but I can see now that I was not leading the life God intended for me but instead I was living a superficial life of chasing the dollar. I would tell any young woman today that I am sorry for my choices, and to think long and hard about the right priorities in life.

Don’t get me wrong, I love to work but at things that truly matter, such as my relationship with the Lord and caring for my husband and home. I find myself in a quagmire with no job, little prospect of one during this pandemic and wishing I would have spent more time on things of eternal value. So when people say, oh stay at home Mom’s/wives are just jealous of career women, that is just nonsense. Career women often spend all their time pleasing their boss, burned out and affairs are common in this arena. When I became a Christ follower, my heart began to change. It began to soften and I wanted to remove myself from the worldly pursuits of seeking approval from bosses, coworkers, etc. and striving for enough money to keep up with the expectation of how I should look and what I should acquire. I am so totally sick of worldliness. I pray every day that I can figure out a way to make ends meet and not lose my meager home, and at the same time have the time to be supportive of my husband.

If people online are rude to you it actually says a lot about them. I have subscribed to your YouTube channel a while ago and I read your blog daily, I don’t have any other social media. Your teachings always come across as loving- oh yes sometimes it’s tough love and hearing the truth hurts a little or a lot. I am very grateful the Lord led me to your blog years ago, even though at first I wanted to scream at what you are saying. But it quickly became clear you teach the truth, and you teach out of love for women and not out of jealousy or hatred. And it is abundantly clear that you love your family and your role as a wife and homemaker deeply. I have learned so much from you how to be a submissive wife and love my husband and children and by the way- I love your salad dressing recipe and so does my family.
I pray today’s blog post blesses a working mother to return home.

Your ministry is such a blessing! I am 21 and single, but I am grateful to be learning how to be a good wife now instead of ten years into a marriage. I can start everything on the right foot and, I pray, build up my house instead of tear it down. Though I will say, I am more blessed than most because my mom taught me some of these things already. What I didn’t learn from her, I learned here, as well as godly books on marriage, etc. Thank you for being willing to take criticism for those of us who want to learn.

Yes, thank you Lori for your ministry. Because of your ministry me and my husband both better understand God’s plan for me as a wife and mom. Because of this knowledge I am now home full time, just finished our first year of homeschool, expecting our fourth baby, and use my trade that I once used in the work force to bless my husband in his business that makes him so happy and pays our bills. He has even been able to make bold career moves that he’s wanted to do his entire life because I’m home now. I truly feel sorry (not looking down upon for but sad for) ladies that haven’t got a hold on this good knowledge. I hope they all do while they’re still young!

Some material things are necessary for survival but I agree that it’s never good to have that as your main priority in life. And I would think going to an expensive university and going in debt would cause more stress and not happiness.

Hi Lori this Joshua from Uganda. I bless the so much for the messages you post here. I have been following you for the past 3 months. Your messages are such a voice for the remnants in this perverse generation. thanks so much for obeying the call. God bless you indeed

Please be kind and consider there are some women who work and live alone because they haven’t been chosen by a Christian man. They’d trade it all in a heartbeat, but that seems not to be what God has for them. I guarantee they are not glorying in fancy shoes and apartments and enjoying going to bed alone.

Yes, I know this, Jane, and this is why I wrote one of the first sentences this way: “How is it going for these women who made the decision to pursue higher education and careers instead of families during this lockdown?” This post is geared to those women who purposely made the decision to pursue careers and money instead of families.

I am 36 and I have not met my husband yet (see my comment below). I am also a Christian. I did not meet a man of God who kept his Word. So, its not my choice to be single even though married women think it is, I did not want to chase a man . I always have been waiting on God and praying for my husband, he just has not shown up yet. Im very feminine and traditional, but when I date men of my generation they just want casual sex.

True, All True. But Im 36 and I never met a man who want to commit and provide for me. They all cheated. My most recent relationship he said he would help me out (during the lockdown) as Im not working, I took time out of my career to meet a possible husband in the last year. But he didn’t follow through, so I cannot trust his Word. Its not always the woman’s fault. What has happened to men? What do I say to this man when, even though he knows Im struggling right now, only asks for “sexy photos”?

Hi!
There are a few things I keep on wondering about. If there are women who chose to live alone, to not have children, not marry they have the right to do so. It’s their life. As long as they’re kind and do not hurt anyone in the process of living their own life’s, what’s so bad about it? It’s not a sin not to marry, not to have children. Often these women don’t even care about money, they just want to do something they love. They just feel better being single, love from their other family and friends is enough for them. Why not just care about being a good person? Why not fight against other things that are something much more crucial and dangerous to our society and community?
Have a good day!

What if all women choose this path, Gabriel? If it’s fine for some to choose it, in your mind, it must be fine for all. Civilization would end. Women are taking away men’s jobs. It’s becoming a crisis. God commands that young women marry, bear children, and guide the home for a very good reason. It’s what’s best for them and what’s best for society.

I think what Gabriel is getting at is that women getting married and having children is not a biblical injunction on the same level as, say, one of the ten commandments. A woman who chooses not to marry is not sinning. There is room for nuance, for varying circumstances, different personalities, etc. It’s not a one size fits all situation. Especially in our broken, fallen world.

While marriage and family were instituted by God, and are the bedrock of society, to say that God’s only intention for all women is to marry and raise a family is to overlook and diminish the impact so many single women have had on the world and for the kingdom of God. I can think of so many single women who’ve done amazing things: Gladys Aylward, Mary Slessor, Amy Carmichael, Clara Barton, Florence Nightingale…just to name a few.

As a 40-something single, never-married woman (not by choice), I look up to these women as my heroes. I realize I may never get married, as much as I’d like to. I’ve never had strong maternal desires, even though I love children. But none of that diminishes me in God’s eyes or makes me less valuable/useful as a woman. God still has a purpose for me. Just as he did for all the women I listed above.

To say that allowing some women to choose not to marry will lead to the end of civilization is taking things a bit far. God is bigger than that. He designed most women, I grant you, to get married and raise children. And that’s wonderful and necessary. But he didn’t design all of us that way. And that’s ok. Because us single gals are needed just as much as wives and mothers…for mission work, humanitarian work, scientific research, hospitals, schools, etc.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this. I know you’re passionate about marriage and family, which is great, but I think it’s important to allow for more nuance in the conversation, as well as more recognition of the important contributions single women can make to society.

Here is a post I frequently give to single and barren women. Women were created to nurture whether they marry and have children or not but yes, the vast majority of women should marry and bear children if they are able. We see this trend changing as our culture becomes more wicked but there will always be some women who never marry. Yes, I agree but it doesn’t mean they can’t nurture.