Ridiculous Things Everyone Does While Job Searching

The process of finding a job requires that you morph into equal parts hunter, professional public speaker, and desperate used car salesman with a quota bearing down on you. It starts with an exercise of how well you can translate your value as a human being into bulleted 12-point Times New Roman font. Then, with the combined pressure of a blind date, police interrogation, and a PhD thesis defense, you sit before a panel of strangers and convince them you’re worthy of doing stuff for them in return for the ability to pay your bills buy $4 drip coffee at fancy coffee shops.

Of course, it’s all worth it when you land something that really speaks to who you are and what you love to do (and you don’t have to pay for Chipotle in nickels anymore). So read on to find solace in the communal job struggle—and if you want to find work that’s worth all the hours spent resume-writing (and looking at other people’s LinkedIn profiles for ideas), check out our new book, Roadmap.

Step 1: Update resume

Refer to your computer’s thesaurus every 3rd word (and realize there’s only so many ways to say ‘grew,’ ‘developed,’ and ‘fostered’).