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Remember how I said that MacGyver and I have some issues with our backs? Well maybe that’s why we’ve just given up on our bed. I say given up because it’s like the bazillionth one we’ve purchased and the only ones who sleep comfortably in it are our dogs. I’m sure most of you are laughing right now thinking well, therein lies the problem.

No, really it doesn’t. It goes way back. It’s really their world and we merely exist in it.

You’re lucky we like you lady. And who put me in this shirt? You’re fired!

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There’s a house near the peacock farm that must be a rental. Recently a group of shady looking people have been living there and I only know this because they’re just wrapping up their work day when my workout is beginning, somewhere around the 6am hour.

On more than one occasion I’ve seen a gentleman asleep on the front porch with a ‘rolled cigarette’ pursed in his lips and a beer between his legs. Sometimes I can smell the familiar “concert smell” wafting through the air as I pass by. On Monday one of the guys yelled over to me.

Guy: Hey, why do you exercise every day?

ME: Why do you do drugs every day?

Guy: What makes you think I do drugs every day?

ME: What makes you think I exercise every day?

Guy: Because I see you!

Me: Touché my friend Touché.

Drugs make you stupid people. Don’t do drugs.

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Since I have to keep on eating gluten and whatever I decided to have my favorite thing last night, a Wendy’s vanilla Frosty with Reeses peanut butter cup minis because I HAVE to keep on eating gluten and whatever. Yeah, I know totally bad, but don’t worry because I couldn’t eat it. Clearly, Topamax and I are going to have a love hate relationship. I love that it squashes my appetite and keeps me from eating stuff that is bad for me and I hate that it keeps me from eating stuff that is bad for me. I just really need to get back to running and work out this rage. Like yesterday.

Around 6:30PM last night the silver Jetta pulled into my driveway and out popped Shakespeare and my Mom. The guest that we were expecting…they’re here! By the time we unpacked the car and took the dogs for a short walk and got everyone settled in it was too late to do much else but mom’ll be here for around 3 weeks and we’ve got a lot planned. A lot!

After three days of serious determination and unwavering discipline I completely caved last night and ate everything I could get my hands on, and all after 10PM because when I go, I go big! Actually I go huge. Oversized, supersized, ginormous.

Sonofabitch, this is me.

I’m glad my mom is here because we’re going to be helping each other get back on track. We both want to work on doing more weight training and our ultimate goal is to lose 10 pounds. We’re calling it the Mayday Melee. Okay, I’m calling it that. Mom is calling it the, ‘help me lose 10 pounds because I said so’ diet. Same thing though.

And with that we’re off to do this arm workout. It’s simple but quite effective and one of my regulars. Regulars, ha.