Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Today's Cootie Award

Goes to William Saletan! He's tried for one for years and now he gets it. For this wonderful piece about the possible pregnancies of the daughters of U.S. presidents and vice-presidents:

Is Sarah Palin the first nominee on a major-party presidential ticket whose daughter got pregnant out of wedlock? Or is she just the first whose daughter didn't get an abortion?

That's how he begins the piece, by tasting his big toe. Then he decided to stuff the whole foot in his mouth by listing all the daughters of the right age but not yet married who just could have become pregnant during their daddies' reigns. He even adds fertility statistics as a sauce to make his foot taste better.

The piece ends with this:

If any of these daughters conceived, but no pregnancy or birth was reported, what happened? One possibility is miscarriage. But the Guttmacher analysis suggests a different answer: Most unintended pregnancies in the higher income and education brackets end in abortion.

Remember that before you judge or poke fun at Sarah Palin. She's not the candidate whose daughter messed up. She's the candidate who didn't get rid of the mess.

And what is the award for, you may ask if you are rather oblivious. Well, if you wouldn't give one for the way private people (the daughters of past presidents and vice-presidents) are dragged into the Saletan limelight here and subjected to his wondering about their sex lives maybe you would give one for Saletan not caring about the sons of American presidents and vice-presidents and what they might have done with their penises during some crucial times.

The human race doesn't increase by division or multiplication, William, and you are a sexist who deserves the highest cootie award with slime ribbons.

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