Presidential Hopes Dashed for TV's Cosmo Kramer

LOS ANGELES - Michael Richards of Seinfeld fame, announced Tuesday that he is withdrawing from consideration for the 2008 Republican Presidential primaries after being assailed by criticism from both major parties for racially derogatory outbursts made by Richards at Hollywood's 'The Laugh Factory'

Richards' remarks came in response to heckling from two African American audience members, and involved the former television star calling the hecklers by the N word while making reference to lynchings carried out against the African American community decades ago.

In response, Richards has described the incident as a 'botched joke' which he claims had gone over positively with the largely Republican crowds at his recent fundraising rallies. Richards further claimed that the remarks come not from 'bigotry' but rage over the current state of the Republican party and its recent losses.

"People who are dwelling on a verbal slippage are really just using it as means to avoid focusing on the real issues at hand." Richards told Fox recently.

Richards, largely considered the Republican frontrunner for the 2008 Presedential race, over McCain and Guiliani, has been hailed by fellow republicans for his ability to 'think outside of the box' and was generally thought of as the face of the new republican party

Richards early campaigning for the distant election focused on innovative proposals with bipartisan appeal such as the much lauded employment stimulous plan, which would allow jobless individuals control over assigned interns, and the eco-friendly 'oil bladder' initiative which would require bladder certification for all tankers passing through US waters.

Politcial analyst Steven Prior states, "Richard's recent outburst proves that he is not the visionary centrist that the party had hoped would capture swing voters in 2008 and that his values fall more in line with that of the old guard."

Richards hasn't lost all of his Republican backing however. Newly elected Minority Whip Senator Trent Lott commented, "He would have had my vote and I'm just worried that in two years the party's going to be kicking itself for not following his lead." Also showing support for the beleaguered Richards is ousted Virginia Senator George Allen who told Fox earlier today "You just can't know how to please every audience."

Richards has stated that while he will no longer run as a Republican he has not ruled out campaigning as an independent and that he would hold off on the decision until the new year.

Make Dan 's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

More fake news stories

Somalia Based Islamist terror group Al Shabaab has posted a chilling video message calling on jihadist cells in America to strike fear in the hearts of shoppers in America's malls.
Though terror experts consider the video mostly bluster, The Al...

WASHINGTON, DC - First Lady Michele Obama responded via Twitter to Former First Lady Barbara Bush's recent Skype address, stating that "she hasn't had 'too many Bushes'", by saying she has had way too many bushes.
Besides having to endure preside...

Two people are facing charges following a fight that broke out Thursday evening at a Maryland metro station bus stop.
Maryland State Police said the fight started around 5:15 p.m. between the Suitland metro station and the Come & Get It Liquor...

San Quentin, CA - On a speaking tour to tout her husband's evolution towards support of gay marriage, Michelle Obama had her limousine caravan come to a sudden screeching halt outside of San Quentin prison in California, so she could lecture inmates...

Allison Williams has spoken out in defense of her NBC Nightly News anchor dad Brian Williams who has been suspended from work without pay for being a liar.
During a Q&A with Seth Meyers at New York's 92Y, the Peter Pan actress spoke out about...

New York - Looking a lot like Patrick Swayze in his Point Blank Ronald Reagan mask, tux and add-on AK47 a British MI5 officer has testified at the NYC trial of suspected terrorist Abid Naseer.
His colleague from Cryptography went slightly off-pist...

Washington DC - In a sit down with a boot licking, softball thrower from Vox media, President Obama admitted that "if he had it to do all over again" he would never had said "Greeks have as much reason to be proud as Americans."
"I have learned th...

In response to mounting criticism both at home and abroad President Obama told White House staffers this morning that he fully intends to do a full Samuel L Jackson on terrorism 'in any shape or form, any place in the world' - including Faux News's B...