are you different? aren’t we all? should we embrace this? most likely we should accept and embrace this. i, however, unfortunately do not. i hate people for the strangest of reasons. i hate people for being gingers. i hate this one kid in my organic class for looking like screech powers. but fatter. i hate this one girl in the same class for the way she tosses her hair. i hate another for the way she coughs. (it’s horrible, really.)

how bad is this really? is this normal? does everyone have odd prejudices? do i hate people because i hate myself? well, really, that’s just not true. i don’t hate myself. i happen to like myself. i may have turned out to be a complete sell-out when it comes to blogging and i may have an annoying laugh, but i think i’m a pretty great person. well, except for the extreme hating problem.

that’s right. i consider myself a bit of a sell-out. (does that have a hyphen? who knows?) anyway, yeah, it’s true. my first “blog” entry will always be my favorite. i always felt that i would never be able to top that, and in my opinion, i haven’t. that was written in the creative bliss that follows one of my episodes. those i don’t have often. good, but sad at the same time. lately all i seem to be able to write about is my “life,” which frankly isn’t all that interesting.

i’ve been busy. the last post i couldn’t even bother to categorize. how sad…

so, i finally had a night off. hoorah! therefore, i had a good friend over. wow, the night gets even better. oh wait! i forgot the totally bestest parts of my day. my new job–fucking amazing. my new book came in–babylon heights by irvine welsh. my new shirts came in–five delicious t-shirts for me to wear at my leisure. ahh. i feel like i’m in heaven.

so, yeah, we’ve just been sitting around, smoking. and, of course, i come in here to blog. (i’m shaking my head as i say that in my head, btw.) anyway, we were about to watch run lola run, cause i needed the soundtrack to pick me up and besides, it’s a ridiculously good movie. but back to it, i thought it was really funny… don’t know that you will, but oh well. i was putting the movie in and said, “yeah, it’s also really good for me to watch this movie, kind of brush up on my german.” (i have had it for a while, by the way.) sorry for the break. it kind of ruined it. so let me start again, if you don’t mind. “yeah, it’s also really good for me to watch this movie, kind of brush up on my german. i can understand nine words in that movie now.”

okay, is that not funny? maybe not hilarious, but kind of funny? you know, the billy madison thing. oh well, maybe you didn’t get it. maybe i’m just too fucked up to be typing right now. regardless. i just have to say that i am in the best mood i have been in for a long time. and that, folks, is amazing. yay for me! yay for you!

oh yeah, and really, if you actually read all of this with even an ounce of interest. thanks guy. really. i likes people like you. 🙂 leave a comment if you want, i happen to love the little guys.

staring at this blank screen has been theraputic at times. now it seems to be a reflection of the lacuna in my mind. i despise this feeling. it’s almost as though my entire body is a void, just a drain on my energy and emotions. i begin tasks with the best intentions and yet inevitably find myself confused and disoriented. i honestly cannot even tell you why i am even attempting to write a damned blog entry right now. regardless. let me bore you with seven things about me:

1. i like to listen to the peewee’s playhouse theme song every morning when i first wake up.

2. i think it would be weird to change your first name. like you’d be a different person.

3. i only eat red candies with one exception: i do eat yellow laffy-taffy.

4. i am a quitter. this makes me sad after the fact, but at the time it always seems like such a grand idea.

5. i use the word ridiculous a lot. most likely too much.

6. i just got a new research job that i’m really excited about. i start on friday and am extremely nervous.

7. i’m going to see medea next month. i’m taking a friend for her birthday. yeah, i’m that nice.

okay. that was worse that i could have ever imagined. even i got bored just typing the bullshit. fuck. yeah, life really sucks right now. i just need to be able to think…

kind of scary, and yet, i find it quite hilarious. someone recently found by blog by searching for the phrase “places to hide the bodies.” hmm, i can only hope that this person was actually searching for my blog rather than for some ideas….