Cheshire Police, who are working closely with neighbouring forces to apprehend the driver, have confirmed the BMW driver has built-up tailgating fines ‘in excess of £220′, and now have a warrant out for his ‘roadside talking to’.

The parents of Billy Ackleton, a 10 year old firearms expert from Strood, say they’re ‘pleased to have him back’ after his extended tour of duty in the virtual deserts and ghost towns of cyberdoom, adding that they were ‘not worried at all about whether he would make it.’

But as family and friends lined the balloon and bunting clad upstairs landing of the two bed terraced house close to the high street, anticipation of his return changed to rapturous cheers of joy as the knurled brass handle of the pine effect bedroom door turned and the talented kid finally emerged.

His father Jimmy, said proudly, ‘I knew he’d do just fine. He’s always had a keen interest in guns ever since he could walk, and after I let him watch Pulp Fiction on his fourth birthday, it seemed only to cement his love of gun-toting violence from then on.