A rare 'panda cow' named Ben (don't give it a people name!) was born in Colorado on New Year's Eve (just like baby Jesus!) and heralds a new era in stupid pet crazes. It took 44-years of careful planning and selective breeding to create the 'panda cow'. My son? Just two-and-a-half minutes of awkward sex. You wouldn't be able to tell by looking at him though! Wait -- you could? Don't tell his mother.

The so-called "panda cow" born in Larimer County is thought to be one of only about 24 in the world.

The miniature panda cow is the result of genetic manipulation. A white belt encircles the animal's midsection, and the cow has a white face with black ovals around the eyes, giving it a panda-like appearance.

The mini-cattle are bred solely as pets. Jessen says panda calves can sell for $30,000.

Miniatures range from about 44 inches tall on their tail side, on their hocks, but he can get up to 1000 pounds though -- so a pretty good-sized animal

First of all, anything that costs $30,000 and lives in your garage better be an entry-level luxury car. Secondly, pets cannot "get up to 1000 pounds". That is not a pet, that's a bunch of quarter-pounders just waiting to happen. That said: grizzly chickens -- put me on the waiting list.