I've lived in Arizona nearly my entire life, and it's actually really great here... not sure what you're meaning by saying this. Doesn't surprise me that you would though, judging by where your profile says you live.

I have no real beef with Arizona besides that I don't know a whole lot of people out here yet which makes it harder since I'm living like 40 mins off campus. Its nice out here

So having even been going a full two months of a long distance relationship and I found out the kid I was seeing for close to 8 months was already lying to me and talking to other girls. Now I feel like I stuck out in middle of this fucking dessert of Arizona with nothing. I swear the past two years just seem like it has been one horrible break up to the next. I'm considering giving up the whole scene for awhile. Really though nothing is worse than being lied to directly in your face. And just a few days ago my family found out that my sister was doing drugs again on the sly. So my life is just peachy . Yet still I miss all my old friends and family that are still back in New Jersey with a three hour time difference, so I feel like I have no one to vent to about this so I decided to bore all of AP about this. Right now I don't even care if you guys post shitty things.

* heavily flirting andmaking plans not just talking my bad I was out of it when I wrote this last night

From your talk of dating as “the scene”, I think the problem is you overestimate the importance of having a partner. You have to be happy for yourself, by yourself, to be happy or least content with another person. If you feel like you can’t be happy without a boyfriend/girlfriend then you probably won’t be happy with one. You need to be happy or at least content as you are on your own, without relying on another person for that. Yes this boyfriend was a jerk, yes, you are lonely away from your family from the first time, but you need to just accept that you can’t rely on someone else to be happy but rather regard someone else as someone to add to that happiness you already have.

This is advice that I hope is helpful for abbysmith and xxemo_kittyxx as well as yourself. The basic gist of it is if you make relationships the be all and end all, then it rarely ends well. Just chill out and be yourself, and do the things you like, and that make you happy, not to do with relationships, and hopefully that side of things will sort itself out when you aren’t so reliant on it for your self-worth and self-esteem. It hurts when you are rejected or let down by another, but that’s unavoidable in life, and you have no control over it, but if you have a positive foundation in life unrelated to anyone else then you can always bounce back.

I myself have been single for the last seven years of my life, and they have been the seven happiest years of my life, not because of me being single, but because I don’t judge my self-worth by how many friends I have or how successful I am with girls. Before I had a lot of “friends” and the occasional “girlfriend” but I was too dependent on them for my own self-worth so I was often treated badly by these people, used some would say. I was constantly miserable, so eventually I changed tack. When these “friends” let me down for the final time, I abandoned them as they had abandoned me many times before, and I started doing things because I liked them, not because anyone else did. I found new friends who accepted me for who I am, and although I never found a girlfriend, part of the reason is I am as happy as I am in myself, so I don’t try to make these opportunities with women, go out of my way to look for them, or take any offer that was put before me. My self worth is in what I achieve, not who I am with, and that’s the key to surviving these situations.