Rumor Has It...

Fans of The Graduate should skip the strange comedy Rumor Has It..., which posits that the real-life inspiration for counterculture icon Benjamin Braddock grew up to be a brainless high-tech zillionaire doing yoga and driving a Mercedes around Half Moon Bay.

Sarah (Jennifer Aniston) goes home to Pasadena and discovers the family secret: Her grandmother (Shirley MacLaine) and mother inspired The Graduate's Mrs. Robinson and Elaine, and their shared lover (Kevin Costner) might be her biological father. That's right: Ben Braddock grew up to be Kevin Costner. Heresy!

This may be a spoiler, but I am obligated to inform you that once Aniston's character rules out Costner's paternity, they have sex. I say this because people should be warned about such things, perhaps even with a special rating. It's a bizarre and uncomfortable scenario, but director Rob Reiner plays it like straight fluffy farce.

Costner whirls Aniston around in his private jet and whisks her off to a ball ' for which she produces a formal gown out of nowhere ' and it's so goofy and illogical that it should be satire but is played as the most middle-of-the-road Cinderella wish fulfillment. Whoever said there were only 15 stories in Hollywood has now found a 16th in this mishmash.