So often, we look down the road of our lives through the prism of the past, projecting that past onto the unknown and unknowable future.

But that dirties it, somehow tarnishing its possibilities with the dull haze of former disappointments.

Our troubled childhoods, mistakes we’ve made, abuses sustained, unfair circumstances, unhappy conditions, limitations—and the insecurities they bred—become the excuses we use for living life with one foot on the gas and one foot on the brake.

That, of course, becomes a challenge when we try making something of our lives, doing what moves us, improving our circumstances or ourselves, becoming what we were meant to be, making something spectacular of this precious life we’ve been given.

The excuse of past conditions for future surrenders lingers all too frequently just out of sight, waiting to justify yet another application of the brake on life.

For some of us, all we need to empower the decision to take our foot off the brake is the inspiration of a powerful example, proof that it can be done, that someone as regular and normal as me with all my limitations, baggage, insecurities and emotional problems has done it before.

We need the proverbial 4-minute mile breakthrough.

In 1952, Roger Bannister set a new world record for finally breaking the 4 minute mile, with 3 minutes, 59 seconds.

While largely overplayed and mythologized, the symbolism it represents is nonetheless a powerful reminder that difficult and never-before accomplished tasks can be accomplished.

His time was broken just 46 days later.

So can yours.

Below, is one such example, perhaps a Roger Bannister moment for you. May it be the motivating inspiration you need to lean more heavily on the gas and less heavily on the brakes as you drive life’s highway to happier places than your past of itself would otherwise suggest is likely.

An Unlikely Hero

Childhood

As an infant, he was largely abandoned to a nanny. His mother, in fact, rarely saw him. His dad almost never did.

At 7 years old, he was sent to a boarding school where he proved to be literally the worst in his class. His parents got reports that declared their son “seems unable to learn anything.”

He was punished severely, once being dragged into a room and beaten until bloody for school infractions. He changed schools after his nanny discovered welts on his back from the beatings once he was home on break.

He made no friends in school.

His mom rarely visited him and even forgot to send him Christmas presents; His dad also failed to visit him at school—ever—even when he was nearby and his son wrote letters asking him to stop by.

His letters were never even answered. Dear dad didn’t even know exactly how old his own son was.

Teen Years

Later, as a teen, his father wouldn’t let him go to the best school saying his son would just embarrass him, that he was “such a stupid boy.” He just couldn’t accept that kind of public humiliation from that “damned impudent little idiot.”

Again, in high school, he did not fair too well. As if to underscore that fact, on parent visitation days, while other kids’ parents came to see their children, his never did.

The class would march out in rank order, from the highest score to the lowest. He was always dead last. His parents were embarrassed, so stayed home. He felt the sting of it, as he said, “sharply.” Certainly a gross understatement.

College

When he proudly wrote his dad telling him he had been accepted into military college, his dad finally wrote back to say, “You are a constant disappointment to me …. Not only are you a complete failure … I see nothing ahead of you but failure… Do not write me anymore; I do not wish to hear anything more from you.”

The same year the son graduated from military college, his dad died in lingering pain and agony after being brought home in a straight jacket, perhaps reflecting the emotional straight jacket he had helped secure around his son’s psyche for so many relentless years.

So who is this failure of a son? Who was it that went nowhere and did nothing? Who was it that was hampered by a loveless childhood with a detached mother and verbally and emotionally abusive father who never understood or cared for his own son?

Who Was this Hapless Son from an Unhappy Family?

He was an artist, winning several awards under a pseudonym.

He was a very successful author of several books (one winning him the Nobel Prize) making him a wealthy man.

He was the lone voice who saw war coming in the appeasement policies Nevel Chamberlain brokered with Germany.

He was made Prime Minister of England twice and presided over a successful war against the spread of Nazism.

His name was Sir Winston Churchill.

Lessons

If this man from that background can rise above the pain of his past and do great things, forging a life that truly matters, what are you waiting for?

You are endowed with all that’s needed to lift your own life from the past, making something wonderful out of the spare parts. (Tweet this!)

Caveat: No one’s life is exactly like anyone else’s. So we can’t assume any direct correlation between his and ours.

Still, to see someone who rose from such childhood obscurity with so many emotional obstacles in the way, to such heights of success is inspiring nonetheless.

My hope has been to inspire you to a level of confidence that will be the push behind the next step closer to the life that awaits you.

Afterthoughts

So what advice might Churchill offer a person living below their potential, someone trapped in the pain of their childhood, someone who yearns for something better, more meaningful, happier than what they’ve settled for?

He might say what he once told a graduating class of high school students:

23 Comments

I’ve always admired Sir Winston Churchill for his witty words. I am not surprised that he simply forged ahead regardless of the discouragement. I know from personal experience that discouragement can be a very powerful form of encouragement, crazy as that sound. For every instance where I was told I couldn’t, my automatic involuntary response is “as if” and seriously, I am grateful to all those who did not believe in me, as it helped me build my self-confidence far quicker than I might otherwise have. (yes, I caught my English Teacher’s disapproving look at that sentence).

Many people have an inner fire that just roars when it is fueled by the “you can’t” concept. Instead of upsetting, it motivates. I’ve seen this happen a lot with little children. To encourage them, some parents say, “Ah, of course you can’t do that. Nah. No way” and because the child trusts her Ma or Pa, she wants to show them she can. This is the loving part.

The words also make a big difference. I used to have a boss who, no matter how big my achievement, would say “I didn’t expect any less from you”. I would phone ahead to tell my office the good news of a huge order, and everyone would be waiting for me, excited and waiting to hear the details. But the boss, he would stand back, hands in pockets, a half smile on his face, waiting for everyone to stop gushing, before he said his rather dampening words. On the other hand, we had a regional head who, when visiting and in town, would stand at the entrance, arms outstretched – and treat us like celebrities, sit us down, get refreshments and then take us through our victory, step by step, reliving the glory.

My family did not believe I could rise in my career but it wasn’t because they were mean. It was just our middle-class upbringing that assumed that it was a man’s world and women were best off after a basic education and marriage and looking after their families. So I was somewhat of a rebel on all fronts.

I am glad I came out happy. 🙂 My heart simply goes out to those who respond to the discouragement and douse their fire.

To quote my Mom, “Past tense. Future perfect. Present continuous”. 😀 Oh I loved the tone with which she said this.

Hugs Ken. Love the post. I am off to check out your affiliate button

Love, Vidya

P.S.: Interestingly, my second last and third last posts were real life inspiring stories. 😀Vidya Sury recently posted … Happy Hours Make Happy Days

Love the attitude, Vidya! I wonder for what percent of the population “discouragement can be a very powerful form of encouragement.” I hope it’s a larger percent than I suspect. But for those who have the fortitude (like you!) to find motivation on others’ doubt, I suspect are doubly blessed. But as a playful jest to get a child to rise to the occasion is another thing. I’ve seen that done too. But for those who are discouraged by the more vile sort of condemnation, who, as you say, let their flames go out, my heart weeps. I hope the examples of people like Churchill (and so many others) do them good.

It’s funny you talked about the difference between your two bosses, Vidya. Just the other day, my wife and I were watching an Ellen DeGeneres stand-up comedy show from years ago on YouTube. When she came out to do her show, the audience erupted in applause. After they calmed down a bit, she said everyone should have that when they show for work, that the next time a co-worker or employee shows up for work, everyone should stand up and applaud and hoot and scream wildly. That kind of company would be fun to work for. (I’d link to it, but can’t from this computer).

Have you ever written a post about your mom’s sayings? It would be a powerful post, I’m sure. Everything you’ve shared about her makes me admire her so much (and makes me understand why you are such an amazing person!)

Hugs to you too, Vidya! I’ve hardly touched my computer at home lately, so haven’t been able to get around to your place lately. But I’ll head over soon! 😉

Truth be told, I didn’t know the extent of it either until I listened to the CD I got from my dad from The Great Courses (affiliate link above, at bottom of this post). I listened to it once, then realized I was going to write this article, so listened again with pen and paper in hand. Very inspiring, for sure!

It just goes to show that the past doesn’t necessarily predict the future and that we can change the present to create the life we want for ourselves.

I have nothing but admiration for Arnold Schwarzenegger who came from a strict military upbringing and had some bad experiences as a youth before forming the single mindedness and the almost delusional self belief that he was destined for greatness.jamie flexman recently posted … 5 Things You Think You Know About Life (But Always Get Wrong)

What’s up, Jamie! Good to see you. So many people with wonderful pasts who do little with the advantages they were given and so many who rose to do great things far beyond what their backgrounds would have predicted.

I should look into Schwarzenegger’s past. I know a bit about him, but not enough to have been as inspired as you obviously are. So many inspiring stories out there!

My Mom read a lot about him in the 80s as she was getting into weight lifting. I think that’s likely where I picked up on some of his story. I suppose his marital shenanigans have turned me off of late, but I do admire his general story of hard work, dedication and commitment to a dream. Thanks for the recommendations, Jamie.

I’ve noticed the same thing. Most people seem crushed by their terrible pasts. But those I’ve known or have known about who make some sort of peace with their pasts, but more importantly, use them to propel themselves forward, seem to have an inner toughness that won’t allow anything to get in the way of the passions that drive them forward, doing great things and being great people. Very impressive and very motivational. I mean, if they can do so much having started with so little, what do I have to hold me back?

Since you mentioned Roger Bannister, I will bring up Glenn Cunningham. He was so badly burned as a child that the doctors wanted to amputate his legs and predicted that in any case he would never walk again. Yet he went on to be an Olympic runner and came close to breaking the four minute mile before Bannister finally did. I remember reading a biography of Cunningham as a girl, and his story stuck with me. I loved the Churchhill story. How inspiring.Galen Pearl recently posted … My Best Friend…Again

I don’t know the Glenn Cunningham story, so thanks so much for the introduction, Galen.

I love those kinds of against-all-odds stories. The more I hear, the more regular I realize such things happen—people overcoming tremendous difficulties in all walks of life, becoming and doing amazing things after starting so far behind the starting line most of us take for granted. Such perseverance, vision, commitment, passion and resolve demonstrated by those who would otherwise have all the proper excuses to have done much less with their lives.

The people who inspire me most, are those whom I meet (or read about on personal blogs or in memoirs) who live the message of presence to possibility. When I first became a single mother, when my little family first moved onto a project boat, in the beginning days of Facets–all moments when my mind said impossible, but my heart said, yes please–my inspiration came from those who were a few steps ahead of me.

Although our methods of movement and connection might vary, knowing “it” is possible not because someone has studied it, but is living it as well, shows me how “real” it truly is. And, I am learning to openly share my journey so that others who might think they “have little” may understand how much they truly have.

Glad you felt inspired; I know I was inspired as I learned more about his life. It made me sad to think of parents treating him like they did, but tremendously motivated to go do what needs to be done in my life as I thought about the things he accomplished in spite of his family.

Single motherhood can be tough, Joy. I’ve known many. To sacrifice so much to raise and love your children is worthy of bonus points in heaven. Bless you for being able to keep from being stuck in the quicksands of “impossible.” And thank you for openly sharing your journey.

I love your last line, Joy: “I am learning to openly share my journey so that others who might think they ‘have little’ may understand how much they truly have.”

Hi Ken, You had me guessing until the end! My favorite thing to ask people who are stuck in the past, unable to move forward, is,”What if none of your past ever happened?” followed by,”Now, what might you do?”Julie Barrett recently posted … Apologies, Dreams, and Birthday Goats

I was amazing myself to find out someone who accomplished so much started life with so much stacked against him. We’ve all heard the rags to riches stories. But to have so much emotional trauma and come out of it all doing more with life than most people do is inspiring.

Thanks for stopping by, Julie. It’s good to see you!

By the way, I love the clarifying questions you ask your clients. Very powerful! We do get stuck to the past, don’t we. But to cut those strings is to free ourselves from the dead weight.

Have to admit I had no idea that was Churchill’s story. Probably would’ve skipped the post (no offense) but the Thomas Paine quote grabbed me – LOVE him – and I just recentloy re-read his “Crisis No. 1.”

I am always amazed when a post is so personally applicable and timely for me – have been seriously discerning my next step, next phase for some months now and I may be at the point where it is time for that hard shove.Lisa recently posted … A Standing Date

Thomas Paine was the heart of the Revolution, for sure. His pen whipped a nation into action in ways politicking at the capitol couldn’t. My favorite of his works is still Common Sense.

Sometimes out of luck, sometimes inspiration, we often come across ideas or people we need to motivate us to take the next step in our lives. I’m glad to have served that to some degree here for you, Lisa. Good luck with the shove and the direction it takes you! If nothing else, life certainly is an adventure.

I am hopeful and excited to see what happens next. I don’t believe in coincidences and accidents. I’m one who believes everything happens for a reason and ultimately leads to a right path. Let’s see where this one goes…Lisa recently posted … Relatively Useless Skills

Did the information about Winston Churchill’s youth come from a particular book? I have not seen that much information about his youth. If the information came from a particular book or article, can you send me the information at my email address?

Leave a response

A Walk Through HappinessGet my FREE eBook and monthly newsletter by subscribing below!

Email Address*

First Name

Your email will NEVER be shared with anyone

About Me

My name is Ken Wert, the founder of M2bH. My purpose here is to teach you how to live a richer life of greater purpose and meaning, of mind-blowing possibility and deeper, more soul-satisfying happiness than you ever dreamt was possible. Join us on this happy adventure as you learn how to unlock your hidden potential to enjoy the rewards of a life well lived. Read more ...