TOO FAR: Here's another take on 'participation' trophies and 'positive' language

"Today, boys and girls, we're going to talk about the virtues of participation trophies and the need for 'positive language only' zones for teachers and coaches.

"If you score, you shouldn't celebrate, you should apologize. You are no better than anyone else and celebrating can be a form of bullying."

Gag me with a spoon.

This week, participation trophies made the news when former Pittsburgh Steeler linebacker James Harrison told his sons that he would be returning the participation trophies they had received because they had done nothing.

He wanted them to EARN a trophy.

Of course, there are people chastising his stance. Those who are demonizing Harrison are the ones who think those types of trophies are great and probably had kids who may not have been the better athletes.

When I was a kid, I had trophies from soccer, basketball, baseball, rifle shooting and horseback riding. But they weren't from participating; they were from winning something or making an all-star team.

Geez, if I had received a trophy for every time I simply participated in something, you would've thought I was easily destined for a Hall of Fame nod. You wouldn't have been able to walk around in my bedroom.

And that was the case for many of the guys I ran around with back in the day.

If you had a trophy, it was truly a badge of honor. There was a good story behind every metal (not plastic) statue. Nobody said, "And this one, we never won a game and I was inserted in rightfield in only the last two innings. And this one, I came in last place by almost two minutes!"

Back then, I guarantee you someone would've said, "So what? That's not a trophy, it's a sign-up sheet."

But that would be bullying nowadays.

In my opinion, Harrison has absolutely done the right thing and his kids, who he strongly supports, get it.

Nobody wins an Employee of the Year Award for being average.

Growing up, if I didn't have a good season, it was enough for me for the coach to simply say a few words of encouragement, pat me on the back and thank me for showing up and playing. I didn't need anything else, nor did I want it. I admired my friends who earned theirs and the trophies in their rooms were often different from mine. They had their own stories and I had mine.

Some very non-athletic kids from my neighborhood never got an athletic trophy, but we knew they were different in a good way. I certainly never got a participation trophy for being bad at math.

Speaking of encouragement, I understand the Chambersburg Area School District has added some more language to its 85-page "CASD Athletic Handbook" to emphasize the need for more positive language to be used by coaches.

One of her best points she made was in regard to the subjectivity of what positive language really means.

Take the simple sentence, "Come on guys, you can do better than that."

Here are two ways that it can be perceived based on inflection. Inflection is not part of the policy.

"Come ON guys, you can do better than that."

"Come on guys, you can do better than THAT."

One is encouraging while one could be looked at as disparaging. I actually consider them both motivating, depending on the skin thickness of the player.

Depending on whose kids aren't getting playing time or playing the position they want, that simple sentence could be seen as negativity under the letter of the "law" and set the school board's collective ire and mud-sling fest in motion.

Having been a former coach at CASHS, I have a first-person understanding of what occurs during a game and Lizi's account looking from the outside in was 100 percent accurate.

We've been lucky to have had a lot of great coaches at CASHS over the years and not one I can think of wore a halo. People have good days and bad days because they are people. Even if robots started to coach, somebody would claim the thing wasn't programmed right if their kid didn't start.

Anyhow, it feels like they keep beating a dead horse – like one that's been dead for five years.

When you have to keep writing redundant policy to address petty issues, then heads should roll in human resources and/or management because somebody isn't either: 1.) hiring good people; or, 2.) getting out in front of potential issues and/or backstabbing families of the day.

No, seriously, it really is THAT simple.

Things have gone too far for too long.

Free-lance writer Graham Messner has been a writer for over 17 years and has also been involved in real estate, fundraising and coaching. He can be reached at toofar@gmx.com.