Monthly Archives: July 2008

When trying to translate an Ultraman-themed vehicle for selling “junk” (read: a manga with cool monsters in it) earlier this afternoon, I started getting some pretty funny / interesting – but not totally ridiculous – results / “answers”. I put together a list for myself, and added a few that I already knew for others to check out. To tell you the truth, I just put this up so I wouldn’t forget nonsense like “the fourth dimension”.

Just to let you know…if you have no prior experience with the Japanese language and you try to pronounce any of the nouns, verbs or exclamations below, you will undoubtedly sound like a foreigner and will impress absolutely zero native speakers of Japanese. Honestly, it’s much more likely that you will get laughed at. But who cares? I’m just hoping that some nerd from the middle of nowhere makes a YouTube video of him or herself yelling “HAKU! HAKU! HAKU!” and then fake barfs. Over and over again.

Please make it happen.

what it means

to vomit

how it’s pronounced

ha-ku

how it’s written

吐く

fire-breathing

ho-noh oh ha-ku

炎を吐く

all right!

(can also mean premature death)

yoh-sh!

ようし

hooray!

(also: hot dog!, whee!, yowzer!)

yah-tah!

やったあ

terrible

knee-gah-teh

苦手

to gain victory

kah-tsu

勝つ

invincible

moo-teh-key

無敵

to be proud of

ho-ko-rew

誇る

dude

(also: fellow, chap)

yah-tsu

ヤツ

enemy

(also: opponent)

teh-key

敵

buttocks

she-ree

尻

fourth dimension

yo-“G”-gehn

四次元

The following were some better examples of why you shouldn’t rely on a dictionary when translating…or at least try to use one as little as possible. Well, unless you’ve got an eye for unintentional hilarity. After being put through the Google Translate grinder, I was awarded with the gems below:

It’s a cover for a record of theirs that I’ve never seen because I never got into them, but that’s another story. I’ve even seen them a few times, but musically, lyrically, live and recorded…they just don’t do anything for me. Since I was already online and it would take almost zero effort, I thought maybe checking them out again for the nth time might sway my opinion. It didn’t. Instead of continuing on a lukewarm path of indifference, the image above – the cover for their “Peace On Earth, War On Stage” 7″ – forced me to decide to not have anything to do with this band ever again.

Did they not realize that the Air Jordan/Jumpman logo is right in the middle of the cover of their fucking record? Did they see whatever proof of the cover art that whoever was working on and okay it? Did they encourage the use of it?

It’s a fucking corporate logo on the front of your record. How is that okay? Especially on the cover of a hardcore record.

It would’ve been incredibly easy to move the location of the Liberty Bell from the bottom of the cover to the center of it, as was done for the poster for the 7″:

However, the poster is arguably even worse because the logo is repeated – though it is no longer the central focus. I am well aware of all the limitations that plague any record layout; whether they be any combination of resources (e.g. live photos), money, time or if you’re just trying to keep the peace between those within the band and get the layout finished so you can get on with your life. This however, is totally unacceptable.

It blows my mind that this record was given the green light under any circumstances. I mean honestly, what do you think that cover tells people about your band? What do you think you’re saying to (relatively) younger hardcore kids that like your band? That it’s not just okay, but that it’s cool to spend insane amounts of money on Jordan shit? That being a walking advertisement for a company that’s infamous for exploiting its workers is okay? That’s fucked.

I’m all about having a sense of style, not listening to what others have to say, etc. etc., but that shit is outrageous.

What’s equally frustrating is that both the 7″ cover and the poster look great otherwise. But to literally advertise a corporate logo on the most important part of the packaging that holds music that you’ve created is absolutely absurd.

I don’t even know how to describe this show other than by pointing to the preview above. According to the blog on their MySpace profile, every half hour episode is chocked full of “brain-melting video weirdness” … the truth is that I can’t really disagree with them. Each themed episode packs together all sorts of nonsense into a sweet baklava of bizarre fit for any ADHD ridden individual. I suggest that you allow Forbidden Transmission to start invading your brain and rotting it immediately.

You can download the entire series here, or you can get a hold of Skeleton Farm Productions (who painstakingly sews together each installment of slop) here.

I recently got a hold of a copy of Fantaco’s 1989 Horror Yearbook and stumbled upon an ad for Gore Shriek, an ad (and comic) I wish I would have seen when I was younger (and far more impressionable). If I knew comics like this existed, then I would’ve dived into comics as a whole way earlier. I would’ve lost my shit if I got this for my 9th or 10th birthday.

I also had no idea that a lot of Gore Shriek issues were uploaded here for me to go nuts over so many years after they were initially released. I haven’t really had a chance to go through them yet, but I had to get this up here. I did get through the first issue issue though, and Gore Shriek gets my approval based on that one issue alone.