Meta

Category: clarity

I am having many ah moments reading Paul Selig’s books. It has reignited in me what my last disappointment I thought put out. Part of my search lately is trying to rise above the ceiling I kept running into while looking for truth in the many spiritual systems I have studied. In Churches, yoga studios, meditation centers and all manner of self-help gurus the same ideas of a rise was in place but they were held back by a wall or door that only the special could pass.

But within every organization I saw very few who had actually walked through the door and down the path to enlightenment but rather many that were teachings the steps while holding collection plates. And this group was usually the elite, the VIPs, the ones holding the knowledge that if you got close enough you could get too. Or so you thought.

Until we do the work of monitoring our influences, the false teachings will surround us and the truth will elude us, and all for thinking someone more powerful or with greater wisdom needs to lead. Every teaching you stumble upon is designed to awaken you to yourself. But our matrix is well designed and all you see, is whatever wrong you thought was done to you, whatever unfair thing happened to you, or an all around what the hell is going on you’re just a victim here…, it doesn’t make any of your projections real.

The true teachers teach love. Love as a vibration, a frequency not a sugary feel good orgasmic experience. It is a living frequency, the all-encompassing creative thread holding everything together.

Redefine true love for yourself and you will find that it has been there the entire time. In the beauty of a sunrise, the smile of a baby, the laughter of children, the purr of your cat, the wag of your dog’s tail, the snow flake falling on your hand, the last-minute nudge to turn right rather than left, the frequency of love is everywhere. You exist in the frequency of love and it is always in communication with you.

When you are in a love relationship with someone and they need you to change in some specific way in order to continue the relationship, think hard on this moment. Love in it’s truest form is freedom. In love we are free to be who we are with the choice to change that at any given time based on new information, free will baby. Love in the form of control, (you must do this for me), makes sacrifice a requirement of love. In love there will be sacrifice but to force a sacrifice of character is to kill off self-identity. That is not love but control.

From Paul’s work, “But when someone else sacrifices their own identity or those things they require to make them feel true to themselves for the benefit of another, you are not supporting integrity in your relationship. Period.”

We are free! Be free. Word I am word.

I’m reading “The Book of Love and Creation”, start with “I am the Word” if you are not familiar with Paul Selig’s writings.

I sometimes wonder if humanity feels fear and pain the way they do because we are always like the poem reads, one step away. We continue dwelling on our negative issues feeling lost and abandoned, as if the boo hoo-ing has gotten any of us anywhere.

We feel one step away and we stay one step away.

Frankly, I think we humans, are like puppies lost from their mother who is simply on the other side of the blanket but totally absent to them.

We cry out in our own loneliness and pain, because when we look up, our eyes are so swollen with tears we can’t see that something is actually there watching over us, there always was.

And it’s waiting for us to take a step, or a stand, or a breath, or something…

Deep down inside of us is the awareness that we were once a part of something, just like that drop of water aware of the ocean it lives in, that is how our beginning was. But we are spilt off from our beginnings and now feel all alone.

Because, we forgot where we came from. More importantly, we forgot that we did not create ourselves.

We are here, wrapped in our individual skins suits, thinking we are alone in our bodies and our experiences. We are not. You are but one step away from your brothers and sisters at all times, and at one, with the source of life, all of the time. You are perfectly seen in the unseen world, recognized as a spiritual being lost in your physical life.

You are at one with all the unseen spirits surrounding you, who are working to try to get you, to see and hear them. Not with your physical eyes and ears necessarily, but with the other sense you have

…you know your knowing, you know that you know at least sometimes, no one can tell you what you KNOW is wrong. You have been aware of your knowing of something in truth all of your life. Time to put that part of yourself to work.

This life is for you to figure out, no one not even your God will do this for you. It’s all you baby, and all your choice to do, or not to do.

You are here for a reason and the “what” that put you here, is well aware of you. You don’t believe in it but believe me, it believes in you.

When you feel that sense of aloneness that comes with despair, use your mind to remind you that you are one step away from the source that created you. One thought away from the creative energy that sustains you.

You have come one step away from everything and there you stay, far from everything, one step away.

So be with everything and there you stay, at one with everything, that’s never been, one step away.

I stopped writing some time ago, why bother? What difference does it make?

My life was derailed years ago and I have been swimming like hell to get back to some kind of shore. And I see a lot of people out here swimming the waters of “OH MY GOD ARE YOU KIDDING ME” with me. It seems we have become fish in a barrel to what ever feels the need to point a gun in our general direction, are we safe? What is life about now when we have stopped feeling safe in our surroundings? Safe in any sense of the word.

As a spiritual teacher I have looked around and watched the teachings fail us. Why are we in such a mess? So, I put myself and my work on hold. I needed a different teaching than everything is going to be ok, please! those people and their platitudes make me want to hit something. Have you seen the level of suffering that is going on? What can be done? What can we as a single person do to help? Is it all lost until this apparent fall is finished and the old guard dead?

Hopeless is how it feels!

But maybe that’s ok, maybe the old guard needs to die. Maybe what we are feeling is the death of the old world and its greedy humanity hating ways. Maybe it has to be a painful death so that light can begin to enter into the minds of men again. To bring humanity to the brink of extension, giving us all a near death experience especially to awaken the walking dead.

What we have to be careful of is the hopelessness of watching the worst of humanity struggle to keep in control dowsing us with a daily dose of negativity and back bending fear. Tragedy after tragedy can make a person turn their head away from the suffering of their brother or sister. “I’m only one person what can I do”, said way to often…

In the words of Jack Nicolson as the Joker in the first batman, this world needs an enema…

because as a humanity we are full of shit…

First rule of change, be the change you are looking for

Want to be peaceful in a non peaceful world, be peaceful at all costs.

Want to be loving in a non loving world, be loving at all costs.

Want to have hope in a hopeless world, be hopeful at all costs.

Last night, another sleepless night of never ending oh my God, What now? What next? the endless supplications to what feels like a unhearing God… I decided to listen to a podcast of Joel Osteen, I know so many people hate on this man, but I’ll tell you he loves God more than most do, anyway… he was talking about anchoring in hope,

here comes the God talk but listen to it this way… faith is the hope of things to come, faith needs hope, do you get that? If you claim you have faith, then you best be anchored in hope. In this easiest terms it means if you are steeping in fear like a used tea bag, you have lifted your anchor from hope, its trailing behind you like a tail not an anchor…

When life bogs you down with any kind of weighted personal issue and you have begun lamenting it, you have let your anchor go and you will find your self drifting back to hopeless ocean,

Open your eyes, see where you are and put your anchor back down.

Keep your anchor in check. Keep your anchor moored to hope. If you believe in a higher power then leave your anchor next to your God and quit flailing around like you don’t know, because you do know…

How do you write about those times in your life that push you so hard that you can hear your back breaking under the pressure. I for one get extremely tired of it. But it completely speaks to what this last 2 years have been for me and I am almost done. Done with the bull shit, done with falseness, done with fake spirituality, done with lies, done with manipulators, done, done and done.

What is with women who will beat an idea, hope or dream to death? “It will work, he will change, she will do what she said, they will keep their promises”, done, done and done. No they won’t, nor will he/she/they ever.

A human reveals their truth easily but often through rose colored glasses we refuse to see, or acknowledge what we instinctively know, and then we will walk right into a glass door all the while pretending this isn’t who they revealed themselves to be.

I’ve been teaching about self responsibility as long as I can remember and here I stand having denied my own truth. I gave away my power and lessons learned are having to be relearned. Thank God for our brains! Through my own volition I can make mistakes and correct them as often as I need to, that’s life. That’s why we are on a practice planet working at being human. But it doesn’t change that I am done dealing with this.

We are at a collective time of hardship on our planet, end times and all of that. We must have our eyes open and our hearts and minds engaged and their-in lies the problem. When life gets tough we close our eyes and ears singing lalalalalala I can’t hear you, so its not real. We spend time fooling ourselves until it is written on our face or reveled in our sickness and/or broken relationships.

Look up, Listen up, for the truth is there to see and is being sung for us all to hear.

This is not an easy ride; people are hurting, people are dying, hearts are being broken and lives are being changed forever. I am almost done.

After the death of my grandson my life was never going to be the same again because I would never be able to think on my pathetic weakness without remembering the horror my daughter had to endure. I allowed weakness to overtake me and hide the truth that was in front of my face. I had made a tactical error and trusted the untrustworthy. I had to face the lies I was telling myself. I leaned on myself rather than turning to God, the higher power that has always lead me.

There is a yoga sequence we do called t-sequence, you stand feet together, arms out, shoulder height elbows straight, like a T. We hold this in class anywhere from 3 minutes( I wish) to however long teacher decides we need to have our arms out straight without screaming for mercy. Try it, see how long you can do it! Because it’s funny, women with no real body strength are so much more likely to be able to hold their arms out longer than men who claim to be strong.

Eventually we get it does not take being strong to have strength. I may not be strong but don’t you mess with me or you will see my strength.

Being strong is awesome I need someone strong to open things and destroy things but thats it. I’ll need your strength for every thing else. Strong will not hold my heart, it will not ease my pain, it will not kiss the boo boo away, but your strength will.

I don’t need you to lift a car today I need you to have the strength to sit with me while I feel this way, and cry or laugh. Your strength gives me the freedom to be vulnerable. If you wave your strong in my face I may falter and not speak to you. I need strength to get me through.

When I reach for creator because there is no one else to reach towards I need creator’s strength. I need to know I’ll be ok and that God has my back. Because you people who claim to be strong often run when the going gets tough. You may be strong but truly you are weak. What happens to you when the strong is gone?

I’m tired of strong, I’ve been strong my entire life in every way possible, I have tried to be so strong until life got so hard, so difficult, so painful, that I let the pile of control I was holding fall to the floor. I told using manipulative people to hit the road. I refused the strong arm applied to make me feel weak and unsure. I refused the strong worded opinionated human and had them take their story of strong somewhere else.

In essence I told strong to move on and I felt my strength comeback to me.

It doesn’t take long to get disappointed with humanity. Turn on the news, read a paper, horror, after a while there is for me a decided need to separate self from “them”. I am not like “them”.

I walk through the streets of Santa Monica and I see all manner of life and life forms, I see too much and I started looking away. I didn’t want “them” to see me and I didn’t want to see “them”. I am not “them”.

My own depression was making the separation worse I was looking through veiled eyes. My own pain and loss was coloring how I felt. As I looked out amongst others while walking I would find myself jealous of their joy, their love, their family, so I looked away from “them”. Or I would get superior feeling blessed around those less fortunate and try to help them, “them”.

I wasn’t seeing the truth around me at all. Did I think I was from another world,

I was talking to someone the other day, trying to share my woe’s and how I felt within 2 minutes, I doubt that long, they interrupted me with their own story and boom the conversation I needed was moved and the focus placed on them. Over and over it happened. I became aware of their need for me to listen to their story far outweighed my need to tell mine. They needed me to listen like a child needing reassurance or attention. It was happening all the time in a lot of conversations, it became about “them”.

As I look around at humanity I see thousands of people not paying attention to what’s going on or who they are talking to, or where they are going. People’s personal needs are so overwhelming that they are reaching out to everyone and anyone trying to get the attention they need, often by tripping into someone. Just like children. Some are getting attention in the most vile of ways. They have no need of attention they have lost hope.

So trying to readjust the lens I looked through and to correct my vision, I began to see everyone around me as a child. Big, small, old, young, I saw everyone as a child.

And then I could see that we are all children in different states of being and development, existing in a gigantic family of many diverse children. Most do not feel seen or heard by their families, society or a God who seems very far away.

Like children we need to slow ourselves down and really listen to what is being said to us. Like children we need to make sure we are present in the moment of any conversation or exchange so that we are on top of what is happening, not running into trouble because we are distracted. It takes no effort at all to say or hear the wrong thing. And like children we get our feelings hurt and lose trust.

Like children we also need to hear with clear ears. With neutrality and not a 3 year olds pent-up frustrated ego. Like with children we need to make sure our word is true, not misunderstood or misconstrued. Like children we need to really listen so children and others can be heard.

We need to say what needs to be said and hear what needs to be heard.

When we see out to the worlds children and the vast experiences of life and suffering we need to remember that the ones acting out in such horrific ways were once children whose hearts were turned and like children they don’t know how to forgive and forget, that what you give you get, and we are all in this together.

Take in a breath, its how we are connected in the physical world, we all need air to breath. Thats why its called the breath of life and why God is called the breath of life. We need God for our breath of life.

Reach out to those hurting around you and see them as children needing your care and love.

See “them” as children and they move from “them” to children of God. It’s a tough time in the world, be the spirit of love and healing, help and guidance, that is desperately needed.

It looks like a picture of the sun in the blue sky, and it is but what wasn’t in the sky were the pink orbs that are streaming towards the Earth. How we see things, and how carefully we see them, makes it easier to discern the truth. Assuming this is just a picture of the sun negates the beautiful pink orbs that can be seen as a sign of love in the air, the universe being encouraging, the awareness of the unseen forces, this image can be more than just a picture of the sun.

It’s an interesting thing to talk to people after a conversation or a movie they have participated in or seen. Each person will have heard or seen a different image or view point. It is as if they were at different events. It is usually the same with fighting couples. It ends up they are fighting over different and conflicting issues rather than the subject of the fight. While frustrating, socks on the floor is not as maddening as a husband who won’t talk, if you pick at your mate to figure out what’s going on, you will end up with a fight on your hands and not the reason for the silence.

How we handle what we think we see is important as well. Just because you ‘saw’ something doesn’t mean you know what is going on or what went on. The unexamined assumption is a mind trap, if you don’t know for sure, you don’t know. If you question what you see then question what you saw. The person who speaks from fact sounds like a person of intelligence, a person screaming accusations looks desperate. Make sure you know before you blow!

In the spiritual world it is said that we are living in a physical universe that is vastly affected by unseen forces. We see 10% of the reality of what is going on around us. We don’t often think about it but we are influenced by the pull of the moon, the power of the sun, the orbits of the other planets, mental noise, technological noise, so much is pushing and pulling at us. We are bombarded by noise so when we are reacting to something we see, we need to make sure we really saw it.

Just take a few minutes in the morning to adjust the viewpoint out your eyes. Instead of throwing yourself out of bed, languish even ever so briefly to awaken slowly, stretch and move and slowly allow your eyes to adjust to the early morning light. Meditate maintaining stillness and quiet on your insides, even for just a short time. Practice having reverence for your precious self and few solitary moments, and then start your day. It will help you stay in clarity.

These kind of acts of self care will help you see what is truly in front of your eyes. A person throwing a fit in front of you may not need your scorn they may need your help. A person quietly crying might need your support. That person who appears ‘crazy’ screaming may be separated from their handler. We do not know what is going on around us unless we stay present and focus on staying conscious throughout our days.