However, though I am quite glad to see you (I feared slightly that you were gone forever), the fact remains that you can’t fuck around with windchills of -10. It took a good 20 minutes of standing by the heater upon return to feel sufficiently thawed to get in the shower.

And as I stood by the heater, I looked down at purple-patched legs and for the second time this morning had the debate: badass or dumbass?