RARE OPPORTUNITY IN COLLEGE TERRACE! 2 COTTAGES IN ORIGINAL CONDITION ON THE PROPERTY (BUILT IN 1932). Each Cottage has one bedroom and one bathroom. LOT SIZE 6,250 sq ft per City of Palo Alto Parcel Map and RealQuest(Lot Width/Depth: 50 X 125). Two one-car garages.

Two one-car garages! Now THAT is a rare opportunity.

What’s even rarer is a peek inside either cottage. No such luck. The agent figures both of those puppies have a big date with the bulldozer. It’s enough to make you lament for the poor average millionaires who will have to share the block with another billionaire running roughshod all over them.

December 13, 2013

Other than the grousing about infrequent updates, people often say to us: “If only Burbed would run more older homes full of character!” If only. This Woodside wonderama features a house built in 1914 complete with a stupid street name PLUS the designer of the flipping playhouse gets a name-check. If that doesn’t make you reach for your bank-check, we don’t know what’s wrong with you.

Thanks very much to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for sending something in even when we didn’t feel like posting squat.

Welcome to Upenuf View Lodge, circa 1914, one of the original lodges in the hills. 3 bed/3 bath on 4+ acres. Artist studio built in the 1860’s, and 2 bed/2bath guest house. Unique opportunity to bring this family compound into the 21st century. Live amongst the Redwoods with unsurpassed views of the valley. Barbara Butler designed playhouse. Award winning Portola Valley Schools. Only 10 minutes to 280

Wait – artist studio built in the 1860s? That would be like being built in 1660 if this were the East Coast, or 1060 if we were in England.

Do you think this is the studio that dates from the Civil War, or just the Barbara Butler designed playhouse? Inquiring minds want to know… who the heck is Barbara Butler?

Also, check out the map on Redfin, this home is west of Skyline. From some of the other Redfin photos, you’ll find this property is much more La Honda Hippie than Woodside Wealth.

September 18, 2013

We’re continuing this Week of Win, jumping to a new county each time. Today we’re headed to Santa Clara, the Mission City. As in, your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to tell us everything you just love about today’s featured property!

Location, Location, Location, A beautiful, flat, corner 12,752SF site in a prime neighborhood of Los Gatos, close to downtown, schools, and all conveniences. Build new or remodel existing property which can be lived in or rented while obtaining permits and plans for your new home. House is being sold as is…

Build new or remodel. Guess “turnkey” is the wrong word for this listing. Let’s listen to nomadic’s words instead.

The listing agent forgot to put “value is in the land” in the description, because this is a prime teardown candidate. However, at $1.6M it’s priced about $600k too high for just the land. Look at the weird construction. The interior walls all show the brick. Does this house really not have any insulation? The bricks are large too, adding a certain cinder block (non)appeal.

We especially like this paired photo set. Can you tell if you’re looking at the same room or not?

Google Streetview reveals that the driveway gave up halfway from the house.

August 23, 2013

It’s Friday! That means another weekend coming up, so let’s end this block of Housing Win with something really, truly excellent. We think Burbed reader Wendie has found it. Read on and see if there’s gold in them thar flats.

Nestled on a spacious lot, this 3 bedroom 2 bath custom home filled with tons of natural light and serenity is just the beginning. In the heart of Midtown and close to all conveniences, transportation and nationally ranked schools, this home is perfect for your family now and into the future.

Wendie had something to say about the photo above,

The realtor should be ashamed of himself. Even the first photo is full of junk on the driveway! I don’t really understand why someone trying to sell a 2M would not even THINK to get a housecleaner to remove the junk in and out of the home before he started taking photos!!!

Junk on the driveway? Looks like valuable prizes to us! What could be under those tarps? Buy this house (for a little bit less than $2M) and find out!

And at least they picked up the junk off the kitchen floor. (At least from this angle.)

Great real estate photography means plenty of overbidding! This delightful home went for an extra $115K and we’re positive these radiant pictures helped. And you know when we say radiant we really mean radioactive. Let’s have a look around.

So far, so good! And doesn’t every bathroom need a prominently featured puffer fish on the vanity? Pro Tip: When photographing a room in HDR, wait for the fan to stop spinning.

This bedroom converted to an office not only shows an intriguing attempt at décor, delightfully framed by the original window and view to match.

There’s so much you can do with fabric choices to liven up a room! Looks like whoever staged this bathroom embraced the concept of More is More. Bunus: Empty toilet roll!

Don’t forget the back yard! The generous grounds guarantee lots of space… for you to cook all summer, because there isn’t a shred of lawn anywhere. Plus the house next door has a great view of everything you’ll be up to.

We’re still trying to figure out which part of the yard is WELL MANICURED, the AGGREGATE PATIO or the SHED W/NEWER ROOF. NEWER than what, the 1965 house?

August 6, 2013

Let’s now return to what makes Burbed the destination real estate site for the entire Bay Area. No, we’re not referring to our excellent Bay Area Bubble 4.0 coverage or our extensive featured looks at half million dollar crapboxes. Today’s entry is what makes the Real Bay Area so very Special: Listings at WTF prices and WTF problems. Thanks very much to Burbed reader Swan for sending in today’s Los Gatos Gotcha.

Excellent Candidate For Remodel or Build Dream Home. Sweeping Views From Most Rooms. Upstairs 3BD/2BA/KIT/DR/LR/UTIL. RM. Downstairs Game Room w/ Slider, Office W/ Bath & Large Storage Room. Lots Of Storage, Cabinets and Closets Everywhere. 1.5 Miles From Los Gatos. WATER WILL BE TURNED OFF. DO NOT USE TOILETS. Seller Wants NO CHILDREN in property. .FOR SAFETY REASONS. SELLER PREFERS "AS IS SALE".

Let’s have Swan float in here.

[Today’s home] is in the same area as the Kennedy home [submitted last week]. This house is on Blackberry Hill Road: . You know it’s Burbed material when then listing starts with, "Excellent candidate for remodel." In this case, the listing gets even better! "WATER WILL BE TURNED OFF. DO NOT USE TOILETS. Seller Wants NO CHILDREN in property. .FOR SAFETY REASONS." There is an open house this weekend. I so want to go with a full bladder and a few small children who can run wild while I try to use the bathroom! Be sure to check out the pictures of the lovely wallpaper in the kitchen and master bath!

That is quite something, although our gaping is for the photo above it of the grounds. It looks like it was taken in 1972 and left in a shoebox so the dyes would age properly. And it makes the kitchen treatment look almost contemporary. Oh wait, we meant contemptuous. Using that white tile isn’t fooling anyone; that kitchen was remodeled in 1987 whether it needed it or not!

August 5, 2013

We’ve discussed Real Bay Area cred many times here, and one way to tell you’re dealing with the RBA is that of course your property should attract plenty of overbidding. Burbed reader steve writes in to let us know about a blog post that discussed what the sellers are thinking when getting those bids.

This couple traded up from Mountain View to Palo Alto, rebuilding their house as well. But it’s this piece on the sale of their Mountain View house that we think Burbed readers would find intriguing. What kind of bids go straight into the trash, never to be considered? Which bids made it to Round 2 of overbidding? And do you consider the “winner” of this process to be the Stupidest Person Left Standing, or the Lucky Owner of a home in Mountain View’s finest zip code?

Kudos to our real estate agent, Erika Enos! Our house sold fast and for more than we were expecting.

This week we officially handed over the keys to the Cuesta Park Charmer. We are very happy that we found a nice new family to love the home and the process went relatively smoothly. Compared to the angst of being on the bidding side of the table being a seller is this market is a joyride. Here’s how everything played out:

You can read all the details over on Kay Luo’s site HomeCrunch, which is mostly about their adventures building their new house there. But what can the Burbed reader take away from this sellers-eye-view of the overbidding process? Let’s take a look at the house itself.

This couple did one thing right: they bought in the RBA. We know this house is in the RBA, not only from the 94040 zip code, but the fact that the home sold for more than double in only eight years. QED! (That stands for Quite Excellent Deal!) They did this despite not having a picture of the front of the house in the first picture, too.

Now, let’s examine what we can learn from the blog post itself.

First, the list of which offers were considered and which weren’t is useful. If you’re still house hunting, maybe you’re making one of the mistakes called out there. That means stop putting in contingencies in your bids during a seller’s market. Instead, ask the seller what contingencies they would like to place onto the buyer. How about 90 days’ free rent after the sale for starters?

Next, while suitcases full of cash may not be King, they’re still pretty Ace.

Third, if you write an entertaining blog, you can send plenty of people to look at your virtual tour. That is, you can get more referrals from you own blog than the MLS.

Fourth, you know those stupid beg letters we’ve been laughing at? They work. So if you want to buy someone’s house full of family memories and rip it to pieces, write a tear-jerking letter about how much you love the place and how it’s perfect for your 2.1 children and pooch. After you buy it, fire up the bulldozer because it’s yours and tough luck if the sellers actually believed your fanfiction.

July 9, 2013

This weekend we featured a Murky News article claiming that frenzied overbidding on Real Bay Area homes was done. It wasn’t the only such piece claiming that RBA overbids out of suitcases full of cash were coming to a halt. To which we say: Sure it is. Redfin is tracking the bidding wars, and they say it’s cooling off… outside the RBA. Specifically, there are fewer multiple bid situations outside California, and in the Golden State, things have eased up a bit in the Southland. But don’t worry. It’s Still Special Here.

Let’s find out just how special with this home sent in by Burbed reader mtv-renter.

Much sought after charming single family home with spectacular southern views. Very bright and light. Main level features lovely dining area, spacious living room, office area, stunning remodeled granite kitchen and marble bathroom. Opening to a secluded charming backyard, perfect for entertaining. Second level features two bedrooms with original built-in dresser drawers. Fabulous, new bath with marble walk-in shower. One of the bedrooms overlooks the enchanting garden and the other captures the southern view. There is a lower level just waiting to be finished with great expansion potential!

Take it away, mtv-renter!

Oh holy hell, the good times are back!

I visited this place myself, but given the line out the door for the open house, didn’t even consider placing a bid. Good thing!

Asking price: $989k, sold for $1,756,000, that rounds up to 78%. This is an astounding $1,661/sqft.

It gets better,

last sold for $749,000 on Sept 24, 2010. That’s $1,007,000 in appreciation over 1012 days, or $995/day.

Everyone should buy in San Francisco. Riches await!

But wait, there’s more!

It gets better, check out the buyer’s agent’s name:

Trim Wellbeloved, Pacific Union International DRE #01209860

You know, we prefer to point ‘n laff at realtard behavior rather than their names, but in this case… well, there it is. Meanwhile Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer notes that this house has come to the attention of SF Curbed. Where, asks PG, is the million dollar upgrade? After all, in 2010 it took 3 price cuts to finally change hands at… $749K despite appearing on television!

Big reduction. Please come see this Victorian Noe Valley Home as featured on the TV Show Sell This House. It has amzing Southern Hills Views. Two bedrooms and One Bath. Period detailing throughout the house. Near shops and restaurants.

Why that million dollars is clearly in the kitchen. The stainless steel fridge must be worth $400,000 all by itself.

Bunus: extra bathroom! That’s got to be the other $600,000!

Update 7/10/13: Seems the realtard made a little mistake with that sale price. It’s actually only $1,150,000. However, realtards typing in completely WTF numbers into listings is simply a different kind of Burbed win. So it’s all good, as long as you aren’t the realtard.

See the comments for more details. You should be reading comments on all our articles, anyway. You should be posting in comments, too. Don’t agree? Explain why! In our comments!

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The posts on this weblog are provided "AS IS" with no warranties, and confer no rights. The opinions expressed herein are my own personal opinions and only represent the view of Burbed.com's editor. Comments are the views of commenters, not Burbed. If companies, properties, etc are mentioned on this blog, you should assume that I have a financial stake in them. Trust no one.