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Are you stuck in a cycle where you will not allow yourself to feel good?

Do you choose pain over pleasure?

Could you be in a shame cycle?

I have noticed that we can become accustomed to our painful emotions and attach ourselves to them in an unconscious way. We feel sad, hurt, misunderstood and alone. We feel that we are not important and that deep down we do not matter. We get into this hamster wheel and have no idea how to get out.

What if we choose to see ourselves as beings of love and light?

What if we choose to become aware of the cycle of shame and disconnection?

Could we create the love, connection, desire and pleasure we truly long for?

My answer is absolutely!

We no longer need to punish ourselves for our old patterns, beliefs, behaviors and experiences. We get to start a fresh.

We get to consciously choose to live in a place of love and allow ourselves to experience pleasure.

Pleasure comes in all forms!

It comes from a beautiful walk in nature. Having tea with an old friend. Playing with your kids. Talking to your mom on the phone and it comes from falling in love with your sensual energy.

We get to create a daily practice to get us out of our old beliefs and patterns and get us into patterns of loving and accepting our sexual energy.

Sensual and sexual energy are to be celebrated, not repressed.

Choose today to fall in love with your sensual soul.

She is longing to be loved, honored, expressed and accepted.

She will appreciate you so much for establishing a relationship with her and deciding that she can be trusted.

Our sexual energy is truly so beautiful and when we create a decision to awaken every part of who we are, we then become whole and we no longer are lifting rocks and turning stones to see if what we lost is underneath.

Love yourself for all that you have experienced in life.

Love your body for all that she does to provide you with a vessel.

Love your soul for yearning to be more.

Love your sexual energy for all the pleasure and beauty she brings you!

Our vagina is absolutely amazing. She has a whole bag of tricks. She can be tight, hot and on fire or she can be relaxed, tired and ready for bed . She can be completely dry like the Sahara Desert or she can be as wet as the blue pacific ocean! She can be as quiet as a mouse or loud and up front. Our vagina has many different personalities and we deserve to love and embrace every damn one of them. Our vagina deserves to be respected and admired. She deserves self love and self care. She deserve to be cherished and caressed! Our vagina deserve the pleasure she so longs for. So what is this pleasure?

It can be anything she is in the mood for. Our vagina will receive pleasure from anything we choose as long as it is coming from a relaxed and loving place. Our vagina will receive the most amazing, out of this world pleasure if she can stay in a relaxed state. When we allow our vagina to become so tense and full of tight energy then we will receive short, intense, tight orgasms. When we allow our vagina to be open, flowing, allowing and full of releasing energy then this is exactly the type of orgasm she will receive. Long, head to toe, mind relaxing orgasms. A whole body orgasm that last for what seems like hours. When we can relax the vagina then we can relax our whole body and mind.

Our vagina is made for pleasure....not just the clitoris although this is made for pure pleasure, our vagina is made for pleasure as well. If we are so tense and constricted when our husband tries to enter us then the sex will feel very tense and constricted. If we are relaxed and peaceful then when our husband tries to enter us we will receive burst of beautiful orgasmic energy and the more relaxed we can be the better these orgasmic energies are.

Next time you have sex, fuck or make love relax your vagina, relax your mind and relax your body. I promise you will feel completely transformed as a sexual being. You will feel connected, you will feel sensational and you will feel like you have finally reached the land of sexual satisfaction.

What if the answer to all that you have been asking yourself when it comes to sex , is right inside you?

Why do we keep looking for answers outside of ourselves? When all we are wanting to discover is how to connect to ourselves in a more beautiful way.

How can we possibly enjoy pleasure inside of the bedroom if we can not even stand the sight of our own body?

Did you know that on average women have 13 negative thoughts about their bodies, everyday?

Did you know that 9 out of 10 women do not feel comfortable in a bikini or a full piece bathing suit.

Did you know that most women never even look at their bodies in a beautiful and loving way, with thoughts of appreciation and pleasure.

Did you know that most women feel in competition with other women of they are always comparing themselves to their own thoughts of what they think is beautiful?

Did you know that most women never have spent any time looking at their breasts with appreciation and love or paying any attention to their genitals?

These are just a few things that are creating a huge disconnect when it comes to us girls receiving pleasure inside of our everyday life.

WHAT IF THE ANSWER TO MORE PLEASURE INSIDE THE BEDROOM IS ....FALLING IN LOVE WITH OURSELVES!!!

When we create a conscious decision to fall in love with all that we are we give ourselves permission to be at peace with the woman we see in the mirror.

When we finally allow ourselves to stop being at war with who we are as a woman then we can become a woman who is healing her sensual soul.

How about we all choose in when it comes to loving ourselves more. It will not happen overnight and it will be a journey but it will be the most beautiful discovery process you have ever experienced.

You are beautiful! You are amazing! You are worthy! You are loved! Your body is a miracle! Your heart is expanding. You are a divine sensual sister and with a commitment to love yourself for all that you are....this includes the light and the dark, the feminine and the masculine, the warrior and the princess, then you will fall in love with not just the parts that you feel are acceptable you will fall in love with the depth of who you are as a woman!

Love yourself more each and everyday and allow yourself to be seen, felt and heard!

I ask you these questions because these experiences will show up in the bedroom.​For years I completely numbed myself from feeling pleasure. The first few years of my life were the scariest years of my life. My mother, who I love and forgive, was married to an abusive alcoholic. There was constant fighting and intense physical abuse in our home. These are the years that we discover our sense of self. What I discovered in these moments forever changed my life.

​I am now 40 and some of these emotions still arise. If the first man in our life was a man that completely terrified us then it is really hard to allow ourselves to be vulnerable with any man. We can be kind of vulnerable but we never will fully allow our guard to be released until we allow ourselves to trust again.

​Here are 3 steps we can take to break down the guarded gate and start receiving the pleasure we deserve.

ALLOW YOURSELF EMOTIONAL SPACE TO EXPRESS EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL. We get taught that certain emotions are good and accepted and then there are certain emotions that are absolutely horrific and should not be expressed...ever. We get to give ourselves room to feel all the spectrum of emotions and trust that every emotion is completely safe and has a purpose. Anger, sadness, shame, guilt, hatred, just to name a few, all deserve to be felt. Happiness, excitement, courage, faith and love, just to name a few, all deserve to be felt as well. When we don't allow certain emotions to be part of our experience we block out the good feeling emotion that counters it. When we do this , we become numb. Decide today to express your emotions and feelings. Write them down on paper, share them with your spouse, find an emotional energy healer , or just talk to yourself. When we allow ourselves to let our guard down and start loving every part of who we are then we can show up in an authentic place.

FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF. Take some time and fall back in love with who you are as a person. It is so easy to become focused on the things we do not like about ourselves. What we think about we bring about, so think positive and beautiful thoughts about yourself. I am not saying that you have to be cocky. I am saying that you must learn to love yourself. When we work on loving our physical, emotional, mental, spiritual and sexual self we become more enlightened and in touch with who we truly are in this beautiful world. When we work on loving every part of ourselves then we can show up powerfully in the bedroom and receive amazing pleasure as our focus will be on all the things we love and cherish. Take time every morning to speak powerful statements to your soul. Look yourself in the eyes and start building yourself up.

THINK POSITIVE WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR SEXUAL SELF. We are all sexual beings. We long to be able to express our sexual wants and desires. We all crave sexual pleasure and sexual satisfaction. Allow yourself to start thinking about sex in a positive and beautiful way. It is easy to fall into the trap of what sex is and what sex is not. Just google Sex after marriage and look what you find. The search is filled with negative statements and negative articles. We have been conditioned to believe that sex after marriage diminishes and is never as good as it once was. I completely disagree. Sex after marriage is absolutely amazing and can be completely mind blowing. Sex can be full of love, passion, energy and flavor. This can be achieved. It starts with monitoring our thoughts about sex. We must be thinking happy and positive thoughts. We require a sex positive outlook when it comes to the bedroom. Start today to create some fun affirmations and allow yourself to start thinking and fantasizing about the amazing sex life you are creating.

​​Sex in marriage is what you make of it. You can choose to shut down and close shop or you can choose to feel through the pain and get to the pleasure. We must feel all our emotions so we can experience the pleasure that is our birthright. Start your journey today.​​Reach out to me as I love working with people on their healing journey.

Here we are, it's 5:30pm on a Thursday evening. Dinner is being prepared and the kids are hanging out with their friends and/ or doing their chores. The thought crosses my mind of "soon my husband will be home and we can connect and get some adult time". Well, adult time is hard to come by when you have children. I could just blow off my desire to spend some one on one time with my husband. He has worked all day and he will be so tired when he gets home. I could just plan to spend time with him another day but those days come and go. This is when it hit me.

​We must take our pleasure seriously!

​

​Would it be easier for me to just make dinner and let my husband unwind from working? YES​Would it be more enjoyable to just go work out while he watches T.V or browses the internet? MAYBE​Would anyone get hurt or feel sad if we just did our own thing? ABSOLUTELY NOT

​BUT

I would not be taking my own pleasure seriously if I did any of the above suggestions. I want to hang out with my husband. I want to have some time where we sit by one another and show up . It is not anything more than taking my own pleasure seriously. I miss my husband. I want to show him love and affection. I enjoy serving him dinner and pouring him a soda. I enjoy these things as they give me pleasure. Who doesn't love to do something for another person? When we are married we get to have a built in person to do amazing things for. It is the universe showing up for us so we can give and receive. I want to have the most amazing marriage. I want to feel passionate. I want to feel the purpose inside our love. I want to feel the deepest pleasure I can feel. The only way I am going to feel all these amazing things is by committing to my own pleasure. I am not doing these things to please my husband. I know it will, which is a beautiful bonus, but I am doing these things to allow my pleasure center to expand.

​As women we can easily become attached to the idea that our husband is just someone else who needs something from us. We can feel as though we are invisible and just there to clean the house and make the dinner. We can feel disconnected, confused and completely lost inside our own marriage. This happens when we are not thinking about our own pleasure.

​What can you do today to give yourself more pleasure inside your marriage?How can you create more of a connection to yourself and your man?​Why are you inside this marriage and how can it grow and flourish into the beautiful relationship it is designed to be?​When are you going to stand up and know that your own pleasure is yours for the creating?

Choose today to take your own pleasure seriously.​Choose today to show up inside your powerful feminine essence and allow your marriage to expand and flow.Choose your own pleasure today.​Choose your own love story and co create it with your man.​Be the star of your marriage show.

​Today decide different ways that you can receive and give more pleasure inside your marriage. It is so important. We are not sitting on the sidelines waiting for someone else to create the marriage of our dreams. We are the writers of our own story. The stars of our own show. The lovers in our own romance novel. We are the ones who get to wake up every day and ask....How can I receive and give more pleasure inside of my marriage?

Hello all your beautiful beings. I would absolutely love your view point on the course that I am creating. It's all about Love, Sex and Relationships. Which one do you feel more called to and if you could ask one question, what would it be? Thank you so much for showing up and assisting me with this creation!

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Which one do you feel more drawn to? *

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One of the most beautiful experiences we can have as women is..... Getting out of our heads and into our vagina's when we are sharing ourselves sexually.

​There is no way that we can receive the beautiful, divine, yummy sensations of completely surrendering if we are in our head when we are in bed and all we are doing is thinking, thinking, thinking. Thinking thoughts such as

​I hope he likes what I am doing

I wonder if I forgot to turn off the burner

I think this lighting is to bright and I know I look horrible

I know that I look chubby in this position

Why can't I stop thinking

I shouldn't have ate the third cookie...damn it

I hope he is enjoying himself

I wonder if I am making to many noises

Can the kids hear what we are doing in here

And so on and so on

​When we are in our brains thinking, thinking, thinking then there is no way that we can allow the beautiful energy of sexual pleasure to drape over us. We must find a way to tune out of our thinking brain and into our feeling brain.

​The brain is a powerful tool when it comes to women and how we can get turned on. I literally can bring the sensation of orgasm to me by just thinking super yummy delicious sensual thoughts. Our brains can accompany us to the bedroom but they need to be dialed into our pleasure center thoughts.

​When we use our brain to connect us to our divine feminine essence and show up in the space of how can I receive and feel more pleasure, more sensation, more yumminess then we are using the most powerful tool we have in the most rewarding way possible. We all want to receive more pleasure. We all want to feel more sensation. We all want to feel yummy in the bedroom. We must start using our brain wisely.

​Allow your brain to connect to your vagina. When we allow these two powerhouse operating centers to connect then magic happens. Use your brain to ask your vagina, does this feel delicious? Do you enjoy this movement or do you prefer this other movement? Do you like slow, deep, circle your hips on top of him penetration or do you prefer fast quick in and out movements when it comes to penetration? Do you enjoy being on top and seducing your man with your sexy feminine body or do you prefer to be on bottom where you feel more relaxed and beautiful? Do you love controlling the pace of your sexual experience or do you prefer your man be the dominate one? Do you like slow, deep kisses or do you like small nibbles on the neck and a bit of playful teasing?

​We all know that we have a clitoral pleasure center and she enjoys being the center of attention. The clitoris is there for one reason and one reason only....PLEASURE! She is the superstar of the show but the vagina can be a superstar as well. The vagina can really activate a deep, yummy, shake you to your core orgasm. The outside of the pussy is beautiful but the inside, the vagina, can really awaken us to the yumminess we all know we want to experience. Allow your brain to connect to your vagina. Ask her what she wants and what type of penetration she likes. If she doesn't know then start experimenting. You can use a toy if you feel called or you can tell your man that you are going to use him as your toy. I promise he will light up and be more then happy to be part of your magical vagina research.

​We are divine feminine, beautiful, sensual powerhouses of pleasure. It is our birthright and we owe it to ourselves to experience all the yumminess the bedroom can bring. We must commit to leaning into the pain because we know that pleasure is right behind the door. When we have never really addressed or connected to our vagina, there will be some painful feelings there. Just go slow and take your time. She is wanting to open up and trust that you will not disown her again but trust takes time. Love her. Cuddle her. Speak soft words to her. Let her know that you are committed to her pleasure and you will listen to her wants and her desires. Promise her that she will be felt deeply and expressed wholly. Thank her for sitting there quietly waiting for you to remember.

​Fall in love with the brain, vagina connection. I promise you it will be worth the journey. It won't happen over night but with time you will experience the most amazing vaginal awakening and you will be full of light, love and happiness!

I want to love my pussy. I want to love her in all her beauty and all her glory. She is truly a goddess. I believe the relationship I have with my pussy directly affects my relationship in life.

She is a powerhouse of love and pleasure. She both gives and receives. She can transform any energy into something absolutely amazing and she can be soft and gentle or she can be fierce and fabulous. My pussy has immense power and yet I have shunned her most of my life.

WHY??? Why have I been shunning her?

In a society that is over sexualized and under sexually satisfied I created some deep beliefs about my pussy.

She should remain hidden and unexplored. She is not to be let out and never fully seen. She should show up for work but she should never go out of her way to exceed expectations. She should remain quiet and calm. She should be seen but not felt. She should be a good little pussy who minds her business and stays out of trouble.

My husband feels the exact opposite when it comes to my pussy. He absolutely loves and adores her. He puts her on a pedestal. He loves to touch her. He loves to taste her. He loves to be close to her. He longs for her. He dreams about her. He longs to discover her wants and desires. He wants her to come out and play whenever she can. He is extremely excited when he gets to see my pussy. Its like his little treasure chest and he truly values it in a deep way.

This could be creating a disconnect when it comes to my marriage.

We have all heard the statement " If you can't beat him, join him.

So I am on a mission to fully love my pussy. She is truly a gem and I am so excited that I get to create an amazing relationship with her.

My pussy longs to feel loved and accepted by me. She longs to be seen and valued for all that she is. She wants a deep connection with me. She wants to serve me and give me all the pleasure I desire in life. She deserves only the best. She deserve for me to open my heart, mind and soul and to fully show up in life.

My pussy is not pandoras box. She screams out to me that she wants to be open. She wants to receive. She wants to give. She wants to exceed expectations. She wants to be seen and felt. She wants to be a pussy that is fully enjoyed and appreciated for all that she is.

I no longer choose to shun my pussy. I choose to love her. I choose to value her. I choose to cherish her. I choose to honor her. I choose to embrace her. I choose to trust her. I choose to allow her all the pleasure she deserves.

​Here are 3 exercises you can do to fall in love with your pussy!

​Look at her. She is so beautiful and she wants to be seen. She is nothing to be ashamed of. She is pure divine yumminess and she longs for your acceptance and approval. Just glance at her if that is where you need to start. Baby steps are better then no steps at all. Stand in front of a mirror and just look at how beautiful your pussy is. No hand held mirror is required. Just look at the outside of your pussy. She is absolutely beautiful in every single way.

Talk to her. Every morning when I get up and after I brush my teeth, I say " Good morning pussy". I tell her she is beautiful and she is loved. I ask her what she wants so she can receive more pleasure and love. I tell her Thank you for being part of my power. I also affirm to her that I will always love her and I will always listen to her. What is your pussy trying to tell you? What words is so longing to hear from you?

Caress her. Our pussy's long for slow, sensual touch. She wants to be touched by you. Accepted by you. Loved by you. Just by taking a few moments and softly caressing her with thoughts of beauty and love running through your mind, she will awaken. She will blossom. This touch is meant to stay on the outside of your pussy. No rubbing or rough movements. Just a slow, delicious, soft touch.

​Practice these every morning for 21 days and see how your connection to the word pussy transforms as well as your connection to your actual pussy. She will awaken and feel a deep sense of approval and love!

​Here's to loving our pussy's and treating her like the divine pleasure center she is! ​​

Wow, I just realized I have spent the whole month of December just being and not writing. I really enjoyed this amazing, quiet, internal space. I enjoyed being a mom, a wife, a woman and a soul expanding in love and compassion.​During this quiet, internal reflection time. I started wondering how many of us inside marriage focus on infusing our relationship with love, compassion and understanding. What if it is possible to create the marriage we have always dreamed of? What if we could be a beautiful, outgoing and awakening counterpart to our spouses experience of marriage instead of a silent, maybe even bitter, quiet counterpart. What if everything we are longing for inside our marriage is just behind the door of both pain and pleasure. What if we do everything we can in marriage in order to avoid feeling our painful emotions but that is the only emotion that we must feel to bring us the bright joy we are seeking?

​We can not pretend that we have no hidden pain inside our soul. This hidden pain will demand to be expressed and if we do not choose to express it in a space of vulnerability and pureness then it will destory us and everything around us, including our marriage. I have found when we have unexpressed anger inside our marriage it is super simple to project and blame our spouse for our internal pain. Our spouse can awaken hidden pain in a way that no one else is capable of awakening and then we can blame that painful feeling on our spouse for awakening it. We start focusing on all the things that we don't like about our spouse at that time and the energy of dislike and hatred grow and grow until we feel as thou we are completely unhappy inside our marriage. This is a false unhappiness. This emotional pain that we are feeling wants to be felt, expressed and then released. It no longer wants us to keep pushing it aside as if it doesn't matter.

​I have found that many of these painful emotions can be triggered with and through our sexual energy. Sex can be such a beautiful thing and it can also become something so dark and painful that joy and pleasure seems like a fairytale. As a woman, it is so simple for us to self punish by shutting down our pleasure center and our ability to receive. If we are disconnected from our sexual yumminess and our divine feminine power then we will feel lost and as thou we are missing something. We must awaken to the feminine. We must allow ourselves to feel every emotion. The good the bad, the right the wrong, the dark the light, the beauty and ugliness. We can no longer allow ourselves to pick and choose what emotions we feel are acceptable to feel and which emotions we feel are unacceptable. We can feel every emotion and feel it deeply and fiercly and still be in our divine feminine energy. We get to remember the beauty of being a woman.

​Allow yourself the knowing that sex can activate and awaken some darkness that we have been hidding for years, maybe even most of our lifetime. Sex is full of light and will shine brightly on the pain that is hidden in the corner. I can promise you this. It is a commitment. It is a journey. It is the most amazing pathway to heal and the most painful pathway to heal. We are so exposed and extremely vulnerable when we are sharing our sexual energy. We are in such an open state of being that our emotions will flow freely. Allow them to flow. Allow yourself to heal. Allow yourself to feel.

​I have been on my sexual healing journey for years and...

I have felt anger during sex.I have felt sadness during sex.I have felt lonliness during sex.I have felt darkness during sex.​I have felt unworthy during sex.​I have felt unloved during sex.​I have felt disconnected during sex.I have felt insecure during sex.I have felt frustrated during sex.

BUT I HAVE ALSO EXPERIENCED

​I have felt connected during sex.I have felt seen during sex.​I have felt extreme happiness during sex.I have felt beautiful pleasure during sex.​I have felt an amazing spiritual connection during sex.I have felt loved during sex.​I have felt deeply delighted during sex.​I have felt the most beautiful energy during sex.​I have felt sparks during sex.I have felt a deep awakening of my inner feminine beauty during sex.

​All these emotions I have felt during my sexual healing journey have been absolutely amazing. None of them are right or wrong. They are all beautiful and have something to teach me. I use to feel painful emotions and then project them onto my husband. I would blame him for me feeling this way but really he was just awakening this emotion that was buried deep down in my soul. When we decide to allow our sexual energy to open up and express itself we will feel free and we will feel whole. We will feel pain and we will feel pleasure but we will create a connection so deep and so pure with our spouse along the way. Our spouse is a spiritual counterpart to who we are as a whole. When we allow ourself to open up, become vulnerable and express our emotional pains and pleasures then we will allow this beautiful connection that will expand and contract through our whole life. We will no longer what to run from our pain , we will want to lean into it and feel it deeply.

​Choose today to allow your sexual yumminess to express her or himself. Our sexual energy will create magic. It will not be all sunshine and rainbows but it will be the most amazing thing that we can share inside our marriage. Our sexual energy, our divine feminine receiving energy has the capablity of transforming ourself as well as our relationship!

Author

My name is Cameo .I have been married for 16 years and with my husband for 17.5 years. I know that the sexual connection in a marriage can create strength and happiness and I also know the lack of a sexual connection can leave you feeling empty and dissatisfied. Lets get real open and become sexually satisfied in our marriages!