As the procreator of three fabulous kids, who have all inherited my flare for the dramatic, I am either hysterically laughing, or operating in various modes of crisis control. Alfred Hitchcock once said that "drama is life, with the dull bits cut out", to which I reply - 'Where are the dull bits'?

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

N: You know Mom, Elder Uchtdorf (ook-dorf) should work at the North PoleMe: What? (wrinkled brow)N: Like with Santa. He should work for Santa!Me: What? (more wrinkling)N: Cause he is like a dorf.Me: (thinking hard then starting to laugh) You mean like a Dwarf?N: Yep. He is just like a dorf.Me: Well, Santa works with elves, not DWARFS. Dwarfs are regular people who don't grow as tall as average humans.N: Oh. I thought he worked with dorfs. And Elder Uchtdorf actually looks pretty tall. I guess he shouldn't work for Santa after all.

This was not the first time that with raised eyebrows I have evaluated this kid, wondering how (in the name of all that is reasonable) his nutty brain works.

On a related note: QUOTES FROM THE KIDS -

A: I think that I know your favorite time of the day. It's the second that you tuck us all into bed and turn off the lights and escape downstairs.A: Have you noticed that the more late we are, the madder you get at all of us? Maybe you should work on being on time more often.Z: I really want to go on a cruise but those are only for rich people.N: If you get mad at me then I guess that's okay - but you said the 'H' word. You said it two times and I don't think that's okay.Z: I really want this thing for my birthday but if it is not the right price I will just ask for it for Christmas.Z: If I was a vulture I would be a very peaceful one. Not the kind that eats dead bloody squirrels on the side of the road. Or maybe I would just be a duck. Or a goose.Z: I think that I am very handsome. And complicated.N: What if I was cleaner than soap? Would I have to take a bath then?M: I need to take a pitocin. (me: so you can have a baby?) No....., so I can sleep. (me: do you mean a mealtoinin?) Oh......yeah.Z: Do you know what is gross? Salad. Do you know what is grosser? Salad in throw up. With a hot dog on top.N: Aaahhhh! I'm not wearing any underpants! Oh - wait - I actually am, the wind just blew up my shorts and touched my - never mind.N: I am not playing attention to the Wii.A: Are you being scarcastic?A: What's on my Lagenda?