Pages

Saturday, February 17, 2018

Mistress Knows Best - Terms & Conditions Apply

A former pro-domme teaches her students how to deal with men, using the tools of the dominatrix trade. With zero experience in the corporate world, what can go wrong?

On top of all the office fun, he gets a salary too.

Kink is not a self-help book. No matter how often I repeat that, nobody listens. I should have know better than to heap praise on The New York Times. The Gray Lady's article on "how to deal with men" sounds very much like an infomercial for ex-dominatrix Kasia Urbaniak's Academy. All of that can be forgiven if Mrs. Urbaniak had something real to offer to her students. Unfortunately she is one of the many exploiting the freak element of femdom for personal gain. Most likely the average woman is better off not attending her classes.

That's harsh coming from a man, who clearly is the enemy. Personally I believe Mrs. Urbaniak lacks insight when it comes to certain situations outside the dungeon - especially the office.

Overall, the article offers a bewildering array of absurd "insights", but the main focus is on Ms. Kubiak, an aerospace business developer.

“I worked for nine months negotiating a multimillion-dollar contract, and the day we closed, my boss suggested I look into lunch arrangements while he and his boss signed,”

With hardly any background info, my conclusions may be way of, but right or wrong, I'd like to offer my insights into the office jungle.

Most co-workers have little idea what a business developer exactly does. The article doesn't explain exactly what Ms. Kubiak's role in the negotiations was. In general, no matter how much work you do on any project, when it is time for glory, the bosses take over. It's simply something you have to learn to live with it. It doesn't have anything to do with gender either.

Making matters worse is the fact that both Ms. Kubiak and her coach, former pro-domme Ms. Urbaniak, misread the situation. If you work on a project and your boss and his are going to sign, most likely the hands of your boss are tied. That doesn't excuse him, asking you to make arrangements for lunch. What it does tell you however, is that your boss doesn't respect you and you are working in an unhealthy environment. Best to start looking for another job right away.

All this comes from the original New York Times article. Looking at the world through her dominatrix-coloured lenses, the advice Ms. Urbaniak gives her 46 year old student, is to pepper him with questions, make him submit through the power of, yeah what?

If she could do it all over, Ms. Kubiak says: “I’d nail him with a bunch of questions,” Think about it for a moment. Given the fact that his boss is also in attendance of the signing ceremony, there is little chance your boss will invite you. Most likely he isn't even in a position to do so. The longer-term effect is that your boss will probably give the next interesting assignment that comes along to another business manager, whose style of influencing is more subtle. Not fair? Most likely, but then again, we all have to choose between a fairer society and personal gain. For most, the choice is obvious.

That's not all Ms. Kubiak has learned in dominatrix school. If you can't beat them, join 'em I guess.

"For now, Ms. Kubiak is exploring the nuances of dominance and submission at Starbucks: “One day I might say, ‘I really feel like a white-chocolate mocha.’ The next, ‘You’re going to make me a cappuccino with extra foam, superdry.’”"

Clearly Ms. Urbaniak's class leaves students with a head full of nonsense. Why would you alternate between polite and rude, ordering a coffee? Most likely the person working there cannot afford the cup of coffee you just ordered. What's the point of unleashing your new-found inner domme upon some poor [also literal] barista, if you are fighting for equality yourself? I cannot think of a bigger clash between the haves and the have-nots than being disrespectful to others, less privileged, just to try out your newly discovered inner domme.

If what you take away from Ms. Urbaniak's classes, is to treat those who are not as privileged as you with contempt, mission accomplished.

Unfortunately, Ms. Kubiak dreams of equality in space. Reading how she alternates between being kind and cruel while ordering coffee, mission failed. That's especially too bad for someone interested in flying to Mars on the spaceship Equality.

"There are no little events with the heart. It magnifies everything; it places in the same scales the fall of an empire of fourteen years and the dropping of a woman's glove, and almost always the glove weighs more than the empire."- Honoré de Balzac