Youre a mommy, youre a mother, Its a job thats like no other: Its demanding, and its draining, Its a job for which there really was no training. Wiping counters, butts and noses, Cleaning up while famly dozes. Making sure kids wear clean undies, Working all week long, plus Saturdays and Sund-ies. Kissing boo boos, multi-tasking, Know your kids hurt without asking. Gasoline goes by the tank-full, Its for all of this and more your familys thankful! Happy Mothers Day!

Moms are loving, Ever-caring, Really understanding, too. There with love when things go either Really good or bad for you. Even when you wouldn't wash up, Clean your room, or just say "please," Mom was there with love and guidance During trying times like these. Moms will always clap the loudest, When you've given it your all, Even when you were quite little, Mom made you feel 10-feet tall. So we honor Mom and thank her Each year on this week in May, And wish her with all our hearts A truly classic Mother's Day! Enjoy Your Day!

These kids, they'll drive you straight into the nuthouse... and by the way, they shaved the dog. These kids, they think the world revolves around them... and by the way, the sink is clogged. And then, the principal would like to see you, What this concerns, you have no clue. And then, some person called who needed someone To volunteer... and now that's you. Mothers! Mothers! You have to do it all! Mothers! Mothers! You're there each time they fall.You're out of milk, you need a hug, The cat threw up on your new rug... |If only they all knew about the stuff that you go through.Mothers! Mothers! You cook, you clean, you work Mothers! Mothers! Trying not to go berserk! Kids need a ride, they want tattoos, They want two-hundred-dollar shoes! On Mother's Day, we thank you for the great things that you do.Hey! On Mother's Day we thank you for the great things that you do !Happy Mother's Day!

M is for the many special Memories, -- O is cuz there's Only One of you, -- T is for the Tenderness with children, -- H is for the Helpful things you do, -- E is for Every silly game and story, -- R is for these compliments you Rate... -- Put them all together you get -- MOTHER! -- Here's hoping that your Mother's Day is great!

Hey, there, Caelin Carrot. You're looking very thin! Thanks, Celereee! That color is so in! How 'bout you, Carly Flower --- take a dip recently? You know it, girl! Only half a calorie! We're totally offensive, we know we don't have taste. We ruin a good meal. Out to dinner? What a waste. When everyone is ordering the shrimp in beer-fried batter. You have the healthy choice, the heart-good veggie platter. But you don't have an option, you want to watch your weight. We're the ones you have to chow on, the ones you truly hate. We're the veggies in your life, the mean ol' legume platter. If you do not eat us, you know that you'll grow fatter. We're the veggies on your table, what a gastrotastrophe! And then for after dinner, replace the pie with some green tea.

A special little tune just for you Do your boobs hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow? Can you throw them over your shoulder like a Continental soldier? Do your boobs hang low? That song's not so funny anymore! Happy birthday, anyway