Did you ever dream that you were a dog agility super champ except then it switched and you were at some germy, grungy, derelict seaside park in the dark and the carnies were actually drug addled zombies that were shambling after you with hammers and their big teeth? And then as you're trying to escape your way out from under their oily, horrible claws by clambering up a rat infested palm tree, you're all, this is about dog agility like, how?

21 February 2012

Frequently asked recent questions about Team Small Dog and invisibility.

Why is your website invisible?

This is a great question! I don't know. It's only invisible to some people. Something something about the server. Maybe this will get fixed! Or maybe not! But, like, sort of cool, right-o? Invisible? Also if it's invisible to you, you're not even reading this!

But you had just written about invisible forest lumberjack ghosts and then your website went invisible. Is this like a trick?

That's right! Super cutest dog ever Gustavo, Otterpop of Be Nice Don't Bite fame, and freaking mother theresa amongst dogs Ruby, all sitting really still on a log can now be yours. Approximately 2x3" high, rendered in ink on a flat slice of plastic and cut out and attached somehow, possibly by Appalachian slave children, to a black plastic base.

For just $15, that's right, only $15! This can be yours!

It's like art! It's like dogs on a log! It's like, nearly indescribable and it is a thing that does exist and you can have one, too. Best of all, NOT INVISIBLE!

That is super news, because it's really boring just reading all this quibble quabble about walking around in the forest. Will owning my own Dogs on a Log plastic flat sculpture make me a champion? Is there any danger of it making me invisible?

Great 2 part question with extra added insult! It might just do that! It is very, very lucky to have a dogs on a log sculpture in your refrigerator or car. Your mileage may vary.

So the invisible part reminds me of a story that the yoga teacher told us just last night. Except I can't remember the whole thing. It did involve 2 monks crossing a river but it wasn't a dirty joke. Did you see the Hobbit? And the little monkey fella Gollum has a ring that makes him invisible? Did you know I can talk just like him and crawl around like a seizing monkey? It makes people shut their eyes. So I think this answers your question. And your mileage may vary.

Laura Hartwick, Captain

Many people around Santa Cruz know Laura as the lady with all those little black dogs. Many people know her as a horse trainer. Many people know her as the artist with the small brushes. Many people know her as that hoity graphic designer.
None of them would be wrong.
All the dogs of Team Small Dog, righteously awesome.
Laura Hartwick is usually a nice person. Except when she isn't. Be nice, don't bite, and run faster.