How Cultural Messages About Exercise Mess Us Up: Movement and Self-Love

I loved movement when I was little. I went to a really cool elementary school that had awesome gym classes in which we got to roller skate, do gymnastics, and play on unicycles and stilts.

I loved climbing trees, running fast, riding my bike all over the place, and jumping on trampolines. I loved playing.

And then I entered middle school, and it seemed like no one played anymore, and suddenly movement turned into exercise and was a tedious chore you had to do.

I didn’t want anything to do with it.

Luckily, my mom had an intuition that I liked dancing, and she signed me up for a local aerobics class, and I was smitten. I LOVE dancing.

I fell in love with movement again and felt alive like when I was a little girl.

Hoop dancing is one of my favorite forms of dance.

But to be honest, I still often struggle with practicing regularly movement, and there is a pretty simple reason why: because ever since middle school, in the back of my mind, I have equated exercise with punishment.

It is a chore you are supposed to do.

You are supposed to do it to maintain a healthy weight or lose weight.

If you don’t exercise, you are a lazy slug, and that is unattractive.

When I think of exercise this way, it turns movement into something that I shame myself with. So it is pretty easy for me to talk myself out of exercising because, really, who needs more shame?

And when I think of exercise this way, it isn’t nurturing or freeing or playful. It is something I worry about. Am I exercising enough? Am I exercising hard enough? Am I exercising long enough? This is anxiety-producing.

Recently, however, I had a breakthrough in my thinking of exercise.

I have been a little more stressed out than normal lately, and the other day it was really getting to me. I thought to myself, “Okay, this has got to stop. I need to move to work out this stress.”

And I did. I danced and did yoga. And I felt great.

And the next day, I felt calmer, and more peaceful. So I decided to exercise again because I wanted to maintain my peace.

So I did more dancing and yoga. And I felt great. And the next day I felt stronger and more flexible. So I decided to exercise again because I wanted to keep feeling strong and flexible.

So I did more dancing and yoga. And I also walked in the park. And it felt great.

And the next day I felt calm, peaceful, strong, flexible, and I had some really good, creative ideas. And I decided to exercise again because I wanted to keep feeling all these wonderful things.

So I did more dancing and yoga and walking, and it felt great, and I thought, “Whoa. I have exercised four days in a row. And it was no big deal. What else can I do?”

And I suddenly thought, “I want to do EVERYTHING. I want to run, bike, swim, climb trees, and lift stuff.” Why? Not because I wanted to maintain my weight or lose it. And not, technically, for my health. And not so I won’t be a “lazy slug”.

I want to move and play and try all sorts of things because I love how my muscles feel when I move regularly, and I love being able to do new things, and I love being able to meet different challenges I encounter during the day because I have been having fun moving in all sorts of different ways.

Our bodies are amazing, and they love to move and play. And when we move and play, we nurture our minds and spirits, and we blossom in the process.

So think about moving and playing today. It is one of the best ways to show yourself love.

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Published by shellypruittjohnson

My name is Shelly Johnson, and I am a writer and philosopher with a PhD in philosophy from the University of Kentucky. One of my primary personal and philosophical interests is how we can learn to love ourselves and each other better in order to bring about positive change in the world. I teach ethics and education for social change at Georgetown College in Georgetown, Kentucky. I am the author the blog "Love is Stronger". I am also the author of the book "Everyday Debate" recently published by Classical Academic Press.
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Loved this. I did ‘Go Ape’ last week with my fearless daughter. It involved scrambling up cargo nets, balancing on tight-ropes and bouncing on logs. I felt ALL my muscles the next day, and it was such a good feeling. It made me stand better and think about how I can use them more, in different ways. You are right, when we focus on the good sensations, and think like a child, with wonder about what our bodies can do, exercise takes on a much healthier dimension.

You set such a positive example for me with exercise, Mom! I love asking you “How was swimming?” because you would always say, “Wonderful! Swimming is always wonderful!” That set a really good example for me about how good movement makes us feel. Love you.

Lovely post! That lazy slug drawing gave me a good laugh. I started exercising in the same way you did. My husband and I went for a hike one day. We felt so refreshed that we went again the next week, and again the next week, soon I had a bunch of new muscle on my legs and my injured back that has bothered me for years was even feeling better! Now we have a rowing machine and I use it two or three times a week. My back feels better than it has in years.

M.B. I love this! Your story is really encouraging to me to keep focusing on how good movement makes me feel, rather than focusing on whether I am doing exercise right. Your story is so amazing. My husband and I want to get a rowing machine, too. I’m so glad you enjoyed my slug cartoon :). I really had fun painting that. I was on a slug kick for a while.

I love this! Your experience resonates so much with my own – realising that, rather than a form of punishment, moving our bodies is a way of looking after ourselves physically, psychologically and emotionally. In that way, exercise is actually enjoyable (who’d have thunk it?). Wonderful post, thank you, Shelly.

Julie, thank you so much for reading my post! It is so good to meet other folks, like yourself, who have found this view of movement to be helpful, too. Thank you so much for taking time to comment. I love interacting with readers. Good day to you, Friend.