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A Realization

I have mentioned several times that I have not really been cooking since June. My thinking has been that I just haven’t wanted to make the effort or come up with the menu or do the shopping. Basically that laziness has precluded any kind of culinary action. What I realized this week is that I think there is so much more to it than that.

Dinner time was a family ritual.

The five of us (or four when Sam left for school) would sit around the table most nights of the week and have dinner together. We shared our highs and lows of the day, told stories, laughed. Sometimes one person or another would be in a snit about something but even that was something that was hashed out over our evening meal. When Dave felt awful from chemo, he almost always still joined us at the table. Sometimes eating. Sometimes just sitting with us for a few minutes before retreating back to bed.

Dave and I shared cooking responsibility. It might be that one of us had something in mind or a hankering. Maybe the first person home just got the honor. Dave loved to experiment in the kitchen and on the grill. I believe that we have had dozens of variations of beer can chicken. He finally stopped when we begged and pleaded.

The three (or four) of us sitting down to a home cooked meal is a completely different energy. So mostly we have avoided it. For the first time in my life, we have eaten our occasional home cooked meals in front of the TV. In front of the TV. I shake my head at the thought. It is something that never would have happened in our before.

For now, I think it is okay. I am hopeful that in recognizing IT that I can somehow work on IT. Time will tell.

xoxo,

Robyn

Tonight’s meal made possible by Blue Apron. It eliminates the planning and shopping element!

It is interesting that you wrote this. My very dear friends father passed away from colon cancer when she was 14. She was the youngest of 5. Over the years she has shared stories about her growing up years and the times when her father was sick. She too talked about family meals on TV trays in the living room because sitting at the table where they should gather as a family was just too hard. It was over 25 years ago that she told me that story and it really struck me how difficult that would be. Hang in there Robyn.