What is the Enneagram and Why Should You Care? Selfie, Episode 10

What can you learn about your internal motivations and drives from the Enneagram? We’re kicking off a series on this fascinating personality theory. In this introductory episode we will explain what it is, and then talk through each type with writer and enneagram enthusiast Leigh Kramer. We’re also joined by Christopher Heuertz, author of The Sacred Enneagram, who shares some of the history of the enneagram, it’s spiritual origins and modern psychological iterations, and how our childhood fears and wounds shape our personality. It’s a fascinating episode that we hope will inspire you to join us on this journey of exploration.

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This will probably be all over the place, because it is the kind of year I have had, and it is ironic you are covering the enneagram. I just finished listening to this, and it is a lot of what I have been gravitating toward lately. I too have friendships and intimate relationships with type 7, and when you are with them as a partner you get typed as “not fun”…but when I say fun, I mean I am not comfortable being irresponsible. I am not comfortable with the unhealthy part of 7. This past year, I started exploring the enneagram type. Coincidentally, this past year, my husband (type 7) chose to leave our family (we didn’t yell/fight/scream or ever talk about this being possible), but in denial of what had actually caused him to leave (I have learned a lot about affairs and people who leave and it isn’t because you “fall out of love”). Long story short, I found the enneagram, from a friend of mine who had studied it years ago when involved in some therapy when her husband left three kids (also type 7, but doesn’t suffer same addictions), and found his way back. I spoke to a therapist, who is not “woo-woo” at all, she is “tough”, but in a very real way, and she studies the enneagram a lot with clients. I mentioned to her the type all the tests came up with and she mentioned when you get deeper into your studies one of the more reliable ways to type is to study the types, especially because mothering young children, or typing during a trauma, you may not come up with your truest type. But, what blew my mind was that she said it isn’t that it is your way of behaving in the world necessarily, or your set way of being, it is where you are wired to go when you are unbalanced, it is your tendencies toward that way, but we are all actually capable of being and seeing the world with a blend of all the types. She said what is powerful about knowing your type is then you develop an observer part of yourself that knows the lies we will have a tendency to tell ourselves when we are stuck. And, the goal is to “unblend” from being stuck operating out of that place of raw self. Of course, she said it better, but for me why this was interesting was because I thought what is it about me that picks people who avoid commitment or go toward addiction, and she said they weren’t necessarily that when you connected with them during a healthier time. I suppose it is why it is also suggested to not go around typing people, but it is hard not to!!!

I listened to this episode on the treadmill today and thought “I really hope I’m not a 9”. I don’t even remember why I thought that! Took the test and, of course, 9 was the high scorer. Ugh! Tied with 4 though. Now I’m off to try to figure out what it all means. Thank you so much for introduction to this! It’s going to help me so much, I feel.