Tag: Pain

Rejection is sometimes the most carnal and punishing forms of experience that men will face. We’re built to avoid it as it’s an uncomfortable part of life, but it still finds us. Even looking past Game for a moment, and you’re going to get rejected for your application for a school, a job, or maybe your idea of where to eat lunch. It’s there around every corner, as long as you don’t try to completely insulate yourself from it.

The important thing to take away is insulation from rejection is detrimental to your ability to grow into understanding certain aspects of Game. Even further, insulation from rejection (avoidance) could severely damage your ability to grow in many areas of life. The danger of insulation from the very, very real possibility of rejection has the potential to spiral into habits that continue to limit your potential as a risk-taking man.

The fear of failure always manifests into other psychological buffers that wrap us in a safe cocoon from that pain. Addiction to pornography is a classic way to shield from that sting. I’m no moral authority here, so please don’t think I care that you watch porn, only consider if watching porn for you has manifested in a way to avoid rejection. After all, porn is always there; it’s convenient and it never says no. The temptation for porn to replace real, cold and raw rejection is a strong one.

Rejection sucks, and it’s that suck that makes it seem unnatural to actually consider chasing the feeling. However, we’re much more likely to learn from the experience of failure than any web seminar or self-help book. It’s the one’s that sting that make one really understand their potential.

Without failure, without rejection, there’s just not enough we can really know about our abilities or limits. Every time you get rejected is an opportunity to learn something from the interaction. What did you do wrong? What did you do right? Before you know it you’re starting to grow more confident in your actual experiences that includes rejection.

Above, I put a picture of a scene from the movie Interstellar because I believe it illustrates this point well. The crew of the Endurance land on a water world called Miller’s planet. No life exists. Only gigantic tidal waves roam the strange world. The planet is “sterile” without life because not enough could happen on Miller’s planet. Dr. Brand, describes the world:

Murphy’s Law – whatever can happen will happen. Accident is the first building block of evolution – but when you’re orbiting a black hole not enough can happen – it sucks in asteroids and comets, random events that would otherwise reach you.

In the same sense, not enough can happen by avoiding rejection. That doesn’t mean we have to all be PUA and actively seeking it out as sadists. It means it’s avoidance limits our ability to reach our potential. Murphy’s Law; allow rejection to happen, place yourself in its crosshairs, brush off the dirt, and go back for more.