In this week's compilation of pop culture crap, Michaele Salahi tries to say she left the State Dinner because she didn't like the food, Kathie Lee Gifford gets sexually scary with Andy Cohen, and a scarecrow outrages a community.

1.) The Lentil Soup Defense
On the second installment of the Real Housewives of D.C. Reunion, the Salahis were asked why—if they were invited to the State Dinner—didn't they stay for the meal. Michaele said it was because of the lentil soup. But then when she saw the reaction that bullshit received, she changed her story. I wish she ran with it.

2.) Neighbors find local man's scarecrow not scary and not funny.
However the man who owns the scarecrow doesn't condone the scarecrow's actions.

3.) Tyler Perry's first time.
I don't know what to be more grossed out by—a woman molesting a little boy or sticking a dirty house key up one's vagina.

4.) Joan Rivers and Dennis Basso on QVC.
Watching two hours of these people talking about their upper-arm fat and sequined scarves was weirdly memorizing.

5.) Boobies = Bad; Ta-Tas= Good
The outrage over the "I heart boobies" breast cancer awareness bracelets hasn't gone away, with people still insisting that the word "boobies" is offensive—like this 7-11 store owner, who refuses to sell the bracelets. Instead, he opts to sell "Save the ta-tas" bracelets, because "ta-tas" is a more appropriate word that doesn't demean women. I challenge him to say "ta-tas" in front his mother.

6.) Playa

7.) His body, his choice.
This guy tattooed his eyeballs—himself. BTW, he's not going to help you do it if you ask.

8.) A woman gets run over by a truck on a continuous loop.
Why did they need to show it seven times? Why?

9.) The View's Wednesday lineup.
It was one of the most random list of guests the show has ever featured. Unfortunately, it was boring. No Babs, no fun.

10.) Kathie Lee had too much wine.
It's not like this is the first time she's gotten fresh with Andy Cohen, but it's certainly the scariest.