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Post-Brexit melancholia

pulp

Welcome back, my 5 followers and random lurkers, I would like to offer you a unique chance to see the future of the past: me in 2016, reporting 2 years after me from 2014. I’m older, more stressed, more sleep deprived, more politically involved than ever (but don’t expect anything impressive), so it’s only logical I find another way to procrastinate (#tbt to 2012, when I started a Twitter account two weeks before matura – good times).

Soon I will be back in the US: East Coast & the South this time. You may ask: do I miss the United States, and I can only reply: I miss escaping. (“…” – yes.) Last year I realised that a life unplanned might be a life wasted, and I put myself on a trajectory toward the so-called adulthood: technical skills, employment prospects, relationships, taxes, cooking and changing the bag of my vacuum cleaner, all of this far more scary than any of my teenage adventures.

(I’m including the time I almost got hit by a tram and didn’t remember it, and the summer of 2010, and losing my phone at Sziget – in retrospect, I was so very safe. I will always feel at home when I listen to Pulp. I will always feel better without responsibilities, but with enough time to read T. Mann and write “pieces of literature”. I might have chosen the wrong path of study but at least they’re paying me money; apparently there is a price of growing up, a price which could described as losing your freedom while becoming entirely responsible for your own life.)

(Now I won’t lie, there are days when I want to run away, and I have always assumed everyone felt this way, but apparently not. Still, there is a reason why people smoke. There is a reason for murder and terrorism and while I think “radicalisation studies” is the messiest academic field of them all, most of these atrocities could be traced back to the fact that – all unhappy families may be different, but happiness isn’t simple. We choose it, we lose it, our dreams come true and we don’t want them any more, we have what other people don’t have and we want to have what they do. We hurt other people as a system and there is one true answer – socialism – hidden in some sort of a video game labyrinth with endless side quests, or however these things are called. Each person is responsible for herself, and in the end we just want to minimise this pointless suffering directed at us. We fail, as the manuals are shitty and/or discredited; see: The Bible, neoliberalism. And then there are, people-caused, bombings and hunger we learn to ignore in order to stay sane, until they hit us personally. Few things feel as good as running away from problems.)

See you later, probably after my deadlines, when I will be, once again, as always, a Stranger in a Strange Land (minus the libertarianism) –

AT

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