This weeks ‘Reblog Wednesday’ has come at the perfect time, and it’s by none other than Michelle over at Chiari Conversations. She’s a fellow Chiarian and her vulnerability and honesty is like breathing fresh air each time I read her posts. If you have neurological issues, or are a fellow Chiarian yourself, please follow her journey along!

And I say it comes at the perfect time because I have not been quite myself, the body pains have increased, my left leg and foot have been getting increasingly numb and the vertigo, well, the vertigo is a pain in the rear end! I’m going on 6 years since my brain surgery for my Chiari Malformationand every day feels much like I’m going through a slow death – only I’m still here and my brain is being squished by the minute. The stabbing pain behind my neck doesn’t subside and what seems to be the never ending hospital / doctor visits can make me feel much like an elderly than a young mom. As Michelle clearly states, a few years ago I really don’t know how I could have handled these constant headaches. It’s not your casual headache, ‘you missed a meal, you are a little stressed’ kind of head ache – no my dearest friend and reader, this is a, run and close the blinds, turn off the lights, turn off the volume to everything, including the neighbors barking dog and let’s hibernate for say, a few weeks – kind of headache! The one where you momentary just wish to be a vampire, because lets face it, I wish the world around me was pitch dark, complete darkness.

If you have Chiari Malformation or not, maybe you are dealing other health issues and can relate …

The feelings of wanting to feel like wanting to enjoy life / social gathering without having the next day or even weeks be filled with even more pain and misery. Yes!

The feeling of not wanting to be told ‘you’re strong’ but know that I’d rather lay in bed in a fetal position because I can’t take the pain. Yes!

The wanting to go to the store and not have to worry about my left leg – body, being overstimulated and being at risk of falling in public. Yes!

The wanting to go out to a public place, say, church, etc. and just setting it on mute because the chatter and noise level is too loud for my brain to handle. Yes!

The need to want to be ‘able’ and not ‘unable.’ Yes!

The feeling of constantly needing help, because lets face it, I can’t do it all – literally. Yes!

The need to want to tell scream people to ‘get.to.the.point’ because conversations overstimulate my brain. Yes!

The wanting to stop being told, ‘but you look good’ because I know that if I looked like how I felt, I’d scare even my own offspring. Yes! and Yes!

What are some of your new normal’s?

A-

It can be difficult to really KNOW whether the pain is normal or not when dealing with neurological issues. It doesn’t help that pain is personal even in the temporal sense. Five years ago, I WOULD NOT have been able to handle this level of constant headache. I would have thought I was dying. Today, […]

There have been so many moments in my life where there has been self doubt. The moments where I think of doing something and I hold myself back. Because as the saying goes, ‘I am my own worst critic.’

The negative thoughts often are too hard to avoid and the positives are often hard to believe.

If I’ve ever thought of starting to live, to breathe, to be free in my own skin, I think that time is now. The time to take the leap, the jump, that jump that’s going to take me to where I want to be, that time is now. I was reading a story on a Texan woman police officer, she was and still holds the record for being the oldest woman to ever been sworn in the academy in her city, at the age of 54. Her story was both astonishing as it was inspiring.

In the few months that I’ve been blogging many have touched my heart, inspired me and motivated me, as living with Chiari + Syringomyelia can really take a toll to ones spirit. But as I battle my days with chronic pain, this post by Real Life Of An MSW was a great reminder of the abilities that lies within a woman. It reads, ‘a badass woman starts her projects …. doesn’t wait for an invitation.’ This here reminded me of how regardless of my physical pain, everyday I still need to continue to push through – keep pushing. Since I began my journey here – I’ve surprised myself more than anyone, I’ve open an online shop and just very recently Simple Nail Designs – my YouTube channel.

What the mind can overcome when the will to thrive rises.

It’s also a reminder that a woman is far greater than anything, far greater than she can even imagine, she’s strong, she’s powerful, she’s determined, because she’s simply, ‘a badass.’

Happy Wednesday.

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A Badass woman doesn’t wait for people to ask her to do something or notice how great she is, she says. She starts her projects, take up space, or raise her hand because she doesn’t have to wait for an invitation. -Jennifer Baumgardener Positively Purging-I welcome your feedbacks in the comments and your likes […]

This week I wanted to make something extremely simple – yes that’s possible! You know when you want to do something, but feel so busy, too tired and out of energy. But, know that certain things just should be done. Doing my nails this week resulted in just that. As someone that lives with chronic pain, things can easily slip by, so it’s essential that I try to motivate myself in finding ways to get things done for myself as easily and efficient as possible. Because as they say, it’s the small things.

The red nail polish in this look is so vibrant and the gold makes it look so fancy! It can even be recreated for a holiday party, work gathering, festivity or celebration.

Step Three: Using a piece of aluminum foil, place a bit of the ‘Good As God’ Nail Polish on it, dip the dotting tool and create a few dots just on the side of the nail – wipe the dotter clean by dipping it in acetone after each use, going in a zig zag like pattern, continue to create the dots

Disclosure: Mom Life With Chiari is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. I will not recommend or buy anything that I do not already own and love or would not use for myself and my family. I make a small commission when you click and make a purchase on any link my website provides at NO additional cost to you. Thank you in advance for supporting companies that support me!

If you or someone you know has Chiari Malformation or any other illness that is followed by chronic pain, you know the hard task of having to explain the illness to people. That dreaded moment of having to explain how you feel, how it affects your life, sometimes even after you’ve told these same people that your illness has no cure – multiple times! Not to mention trying really hard to tell them about your pain levels, headaches and what you have to live with, in such a way that won’t scare the Jesus out of them!

It doesn’t stop there, because even after you’ve explained the type of pounding headaches you have, they then proceed to tell you about their headaches. Because they think it compares to yours and how sharing that with you somehow will comfort you – yes, this meme is for you!

I want to thank The Pink Herald’s Blog for this nomination! It’s always such a great feeling knowing you are doing something remotely right that you’ve touched a fellow blogger enough to think of you. Thank you Lynn! If I can describe her for you in one word it would be, survivor! She’s a survivor! Get to know her, her blog, her story and how she created her blog in memory of her sister Kathi.

What The Award Is:

The Liebster is an award that is given to bloggers by other bloggers. Liebster in German means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome.

The Rules:

Thank the person who nominated you

Answer the questions about yourself provided by your nominator

Nominate 5-11 fellow bloggers with fewer than 1000 followers who you think deserve the award

Questions:

1. Who would you most like to meet (dead or alive) and why?

I would have loved to have met my paternal grandfather – he was Korean. My grandparents divorced and I only got a chance to meet my paternal grandmother that has been deceased for a few years. I saw her a few times on trips to Nicaragua. She was such a strong lady, so creative, so loving. As I grew up, either I was teased at school or was nicknamed for my Asian facial features, specifically my eyes. As time went by and now as an adult, we finally were told about my paternal grandfathers side of the family. It was such an amazing feeling knowing that even if only to have his Korean features – I’m happy to know something of him lives in me. My children also have my facial features and it just reminds me of how far our blood line goes – incredible!

In my lifetime, to know that I’ve done a good job raising the children God has sent to me. I try to raise them to best of my abilities and pray that I can continue to lead them on the path to knowing the Lord as their one and only true Father. As my life will not last forever, but the love of Christ will live in their hearts forever.

4. What is your biggest regret?

Regret, I try not to look back at my life with regret. However, there are a few events, heartbreaks, friendships that I would have liked to have gone differently, maybe have been more honest. I would have wanted myself to have been stronger and able to have been willing to speak on what was in my heart, things have remained left unsaid – on my behalf. Isn’t that unfortunate, when you didn’t speak on something and would have liked to?! Ugh!

5. What is one thing you could start doing to make a difference in someone’s life?

Aside from living with chronic pain and spending most of my days on edge due to the pain. I try not to be snappy or disrespectful to people. I try but if you come to me with some nonsense about life’s hardships, to me – I apologize in advance for my lack of interest. It’s hard to want to make a difference in someones else’s life when I’m barely making a difference in my own. I do want to make a difference through this outlet – my blog. And outside of this outlet, I try to be a good ear to whomever needs one, be a good listener – not always a talker. Again, living with chronic pain on a daily basis can get in the way of trying to be a ‘good’ friend by societies standards, but I try my best. If I think of you, I try to reach out and take advantage of that moment and send a text or anything to let you know, I’m thinking of you. I can definitely start wanting to build stronger, better friendships.

This has been insane! It’s been pouring awards around my neck of the woods and I’m deeply humbled :: insert happy face here :: Wendi over at Simply Chronically Ill has the best timing! I’ve had a challenging day, between going to the hospital for biopsy of my thyroid and leaving my kids behind telling them mommy is OK, I’ll be right back. There’s nothing like coming home and knowing that Wendi has nominated my blog for the Sunshine Blogger Award. You and your blog friend are amazing and I thank you for thinking of me! If you haven’t been to Wendi’s blog you must!

HERE’S HOW IT WORKS…

The Rules:

1.) Thank the blogger(s) who nominated you and link back to their blog

2.) Answer the 11 questions the blogger asked you

3.) Nominate 11 new blogs to receive this award, and write them 11 new questions

Questions For Me:

To know that a fellow blogger has thought of me enough to consider and nominating me for an award that would have otherwise been given to someone else. The feeling is incredible!

2. If you were a sports car which one would you want to be and why?

I have no idea about sports cars however, growing up with an older brother, he loved to watch two things, soccer games and NASCAR – we were huge fans of Dale Earnhardt and Jeff Gordon. That’s as close to a sports car as I’ll get.

3. If you could only eat one color of food for a week, what color would it be?

Green, I love vegetables and a good salad, the one with the croutons, cheese, bacon and all that good stuff!

4. What is your favorite movie line and why?

It would have to be from ‘Jerry Maguire’ when Jerry says, ‘Hello. I’m looking for my wife. Alright. If this is where is has to happen, then this is where it has to happen. I’m not letting you get rid of me. How about that?’ and then Dorothy replies, ‘Shut up. Just shut up. You had me at hello.’ I mean HELLO ?! Can it get anymore cheesy and romantic and sad and adorable?! I love it!

5. If you had to leave your house and take only 10 things with you (excluding all living beings) what would they be?

Excluding the 7 other obvious living beings of mine, OK. I’d say, my journal, my phone, my computer, my bible (because I don’t know where we’d be going and I just may need to do some heavy praying), money (because, you know, we’ll get hungry), food (just in case there isn’t any food to buy – I’m prepared!), my washer and dryer, car and ALL birth certificates just in case someone doubts all these kids are actually mine! Because, yes, it happens to me. all. the. time!

6. Describe yourself in two words.

1) Sick – always! ugh, I have Chiari + Syringomyelia and it comes with a lot of chronic pain and 2) listener – great listener

10. If you had to learn a made up language, which one would you choose and why?

I think I would always want to be fully understood – I wouldn’t make anything up from anything that’d prevent us from getting there.

11. If you were to learn to play an instrument which one would you choose?

I would learn to play the piano. I grew up listening to classical music – growing up my mother always put Ludwig Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, Mozart, Johann Bach and I was also fortunate enough to work at a law firm that often gave me tickets to the ballet for free. Thanks to mami for introducing to classical music.

Questions For My Nominees (thank you Wendi I’ll be borrowing these):

What is your favorite thing about blogging awards?

If you were a sports car which one would you want to be and why?

If you could only eat one color of food for a week, what color would it be?

What is your favorite movie line and why?

If you had to leave your house and take only 10 things with you (excluding all living beings) what would they be?

Describe yourself in two words.

What is one sporting activity that you enjoy watching?

If you could give one piece of advice for all the world to hear what would it be?

What is your favorite encouraging quote?

If you had to learn a made up language, which one would you choose and why?

If you were to learn to play an instrument which one would you choose?

The last day for ‘Three Days Three Quotes,’ thanks again to the wonderful blogger over at Reveuse.

AND don’t forget to visit my nominees ….

To you three ladies, I’ve followed you three amazing women since day one of my blogging journey and have – and continue, to learn so much from you! I see your strength and vulnerability shine through in each one of your writings! Please know that you are loved, appreciated, that I admire you and continue to enjoy following your journeys!

HERE ARE THE RULES:

♣…Thank the person who nominated you.

♣…Post a quote for 3 days andexplain why it appeals to you.

♣…Nominate bloggers each day!

MY THIRD QUOTE:

“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet” Aristotle

I was so intrigued to find the proper definition for patience, that I Googled it. Patience is ‘the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.’

If you’ve followed my journey you know that I have chronic pain, not from time to time, not every other day, but daily. D-a-i-l-y. I like to say, I don’t have ‘good’ days,’ I have bad days and I have even worse days. And I’ll be transparent and allow my feelings to be shown through your screen. It’s my reality, anyone living with a chronic illness knows that we have to practice patience every single day. And I’m not talking about having patience for your spouse, children, co-workers, family, etc. no! You see, we have to be patient with ourselves, be loving to myself, my body and mind, not to get upset or angry as that can trigger other symptoms like the infamous frustration, that can ultimately make things much worse.

I am my worst enemy. I beat myself up for not being a ‘normal’ woman – because who wakes up daily with pain?! I beat myself up for not being able to stand for long periods of time – because my legs get so weak I’m a risk of falling. I beat myself up for allowing the everyday things ‘bother’ me – you see I am sensitive to noise, light, you know the sun is the worst for me, yes, how do shut off the world in order for me to feel ‘good.’ I beat myself up for not being able to meet others expectations – they’re just too high for me to meet. I beat myself up for not being able to get in the car for long periods of time – you see with Chiari Malformation + Syringomyelia I get nauseated in the car when riding for too long and require I keep medication on hand and bags in the car in case the need arises to regurgitate, Disney trips are as daunting as they are lovely for the children. I beat myself up for having anxiety – you see I can’t have last minute invites, last minute guests in my home, etc. my anxiety will go through the roof, I can’t do things on a ‘whim,’ I can’t do things like the ‘average’ woman can, like go to the grocery store without feeling pain run through my body, I can’t get last minute notices from my children’s teachers for a school event, my agoraphobia will prevent me from being present.

I need to have patience with myself, patience to love myself as I am and not want to change a thing about me, pain and all. I remind myself that I am me and there’s no one quite like me. I am beautifully made by the most high that has made me in His image. I am here to live with Chiari for reasons I am too stubborn to understand. I am doing the best that I can and I am as best of a mother as I can be. As this wonderful quote says, ‘patience is bitter, but it’s fruit is sweet.’ Yes! It’s so bitter, it’s harsh, it’s a pill too hard to swallow at times, it’s a tough reality too many times hard to accept, to face, to know! To know it’s there staring back at me …

Yet, yet! It’s fruit, it’s a message, it’s an everyday motivation to keep going, to keep walking, to stand on my weakest days, this makes patience so sweet! It’s as sweet as they come, to be taught to have patience from such a horrible illness is the sweet reminder of the strength that lies within me.