You must save the comic to your computer, print it out, sprinkle lemon juice on it, hold it over an open flame, and say the secret password.
What’s that? You don’t know the secret password? Well, I’m not telling you. It’s a secret!

Yeah, what taylor said………and dont’cha think it’s kinda mean to call people n00bs? I mean, it’s not our fault we’re not as knowledgable about the various platforms/operating systems/webcomix/internet commenting sites as you geeks. (And I mean that in the nicest way possible.) (I’m not targeting anyone specific here, so please don’t be mad at me, FedEXguy or anyone else.)

Actually, it’s rather nice to tell people they are n00bs because we are giving you information which helps you get over your little “problem.” It may hurt a bit, but it’s for your own good… like chemotherapy for a cancer patient or a punch to the face for some Jerk who won’t stop talking about how huge his penis is even though the entire group is male and no one there KNEW him. And no, a punch to the face isn’t too harsh, not compared to Chemo which is pumping poison into your veins and hoping to only kill the bad stuff… and your hair…

As for the comic, brilliant. As for the “Paradox” there isn’t one. But my response is already too long for my liking so I’ll let you figure out why not.

the best way to solve n00bery is to realize that your question is one that must have been asked hundreds of times before, and then check the archives. I was a n00b once too, but never had to ask to figure it out.

Penis talker didn’t likely have hair on his head anyway so is it wrong to hope he has cancer…instead of punching him in the face? At least he won’t lose anything more then the cancer when he starts chemo. I find passive-aggressive thoughts can be much more fulfilling.

A paradox would imply that there is some piece of information that counters this comic. No, the finger is totally logical. It would be a paradox if a finger smashed somewhere else, though. Anyway, I could think of a few other things Id like to stick on that map, namly tiny bits of gold that become huge mountains of gold when it falls from the sky. And wouldent a rush of coffee scold somone to death before they drown in it? Supposing its not cold. But cold coffee isnt delicious.

The paradox is that it is the person’s finger who touched the map. If you were to squish yourself with an enlarged version of own finger, then you have to think that finger would have to be squished too… by an even larger force. and that force would be crushed, etc. etc. Becoming too large that the universe itself would not be able to expand in time, since all this is happening instantaneously and beyond the speed of light. So all matter and life in the universe would be squished under an infinitely large finger being squished by a larger finger for infinity.

Wait, if he was hit by his finger, then his finger wouldn’t e on the map for more that a split milisecond after he touched it because he, and the map would be crushed under a finger, and if the map was being crshed under a giant finger wouldn’t that mean the entire would would be under…one…finger? Looks up into the sky.

By that logic, the moment he crushed himself he would have inadvertently initiated an endless time loop of a guy being crushed by the finger of a guy who’s getting crushed by the finger of a guy who’s getting crushed by the finger of a guy who’s getting crushed by the finger of a guy who’s getting crushed by the finger of a guy who’s getting crushed by the finger of a guy who’s getting crushed by the finger of a guy who’s getting crushed by the finger of a guy who’s getting crushed by the finger of a guy who’s getting crushed…

Your mother took your toys away from you and made you read quantum physics didn’t she? Gawd its a damned comic…do these guys have to make everything make sense for you geeks? Get the literal stick out of your asses and crack a smile…believe me it will feel better once you sit in your ergonomic chair without the stick.

I was just thinking what would happen if he spilt hot coffee on the map? I guess next day newpaper’s headline would be: “strange rain of coffee strikes Brazil”. Now imagine if it would have been with alcohol. HA!

Fortunately, there’s help. Nail fungus is a treatable infection. Talk to your doctor — or just wear a glove full of moss to bed every night for a week. Your nails can be strong and pink again, the better to help you win a Darwin Award with the help of a magic map (map not included).