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By Sherri Matthews

Well, we asked for travel stories with a twist, and we got ‘em. Thank you so much to all who entered, 29 in all. You’ve taken us around the world (twice), to Rome and through most of Europe, to Morocco, Lima, on sun-drenched holidays including the Caribbean and Hawaii, up mountains, along the coast, to a Harry Potter conference in San Francisco, a monastery, Lake Michigan, Key West, Rock Springs and the weird and wonderful Garbled Creese. We’ve walked, ran and hiked, and travelled by car, cruise ship, plane, bus, motorhome, and broomstick.

The high quality and enjoyment of every story, however, did not make it easy for the judges. I don’t like this part of the job! First, I verified every story’s word count and sadly had to eliminate 2, one just under, one just below 99 words. Then we narrowed it down with each of us separately selecting our top three. Out of our new total of nine, I cross-matched those stories chosen by more than one judge. Out of those, we deliberated and found our winner, second and third places, and we then each chose one Highly Commended.

So here goes, and huge congratulations to all:

First Place: A Visit with Grammy, by Colleen Chesebro, who wins a cash prize of $25

Jess ran. She couldn’t miss this bus, or Grammy would worry at her late arrival.

She stumbled into the queue as a woman towing a wheeled suitcase pushed past her. Jess swerved to miss it, whacking the woman’s elbow with her own. She stepped out of the way and bumped into the man in front of her.

“Sorry,” Jess muttered.

“Ouch! Who’s there?” asked the woman.

“It wasn’t me,” said the man.

Then, Jess remembered. They couldn’t see or hear her, only feel her ghostly touch. She didn’t need to ride the bus to visit Grammy – she flew.

Judges Comments:

We all agreed that this flash expertly spins an everyday setting into a wonderfully unexpected ghostly twist that we didn’t see coming and all in 99 words. A fantastic, fast-paced read showing through dialogue the confusion between Jess, the man, and the woman. Not only did the writer surprise us at the end, but Jess too, as she remembers she is a ghost. Sweet, but sad too; hope Grammy is comforted by Jess’s ghostly touch. Beautifully told, as Hugh adds, ‘It took me by complete surprise with its ending. As soon as I got to the ending, a smile appeared across my face because I loved what the author had done and the journey they had taken us on…perfect in every way.’

Second Place: By Frank Hubeny, who wins a copy of the ‘Rough Writers Flash Fiction Anthology Vol I.’

James had just enough cash to fill the tank of his pickup. He started up the ramp to the interstate when he saw the couple in the dark wave him down. He stopped, but he didn’t expect them to ask to be taken to Canaan, over a hundred miles away. At this time of night there would be few cars. She was pregnant.

He brought them to their rundown apartment.

While driving back James wondered why he was asked to help those two angels in the north woods. He never saw them again, but they never left his side.

Judges’ Comments:

What immediately struck the judges is the way the writer so cleverly evokes a hint of the ‘nativity’ through its modern-day setting. As Mike says, ‘This story brings to me, a powerful telling of the unseen and unexpected reward for selfless giving by helping strangers who are lost and cold.’ I imagine James driving back home, alone on the road with few cars late at night, thinking about his encounter. Just as his angels never left his side, neither did this beautifully moving story leave us.

Third Place: Time Travel, by Faith A. Colburn, who wins a copy of Hugh Roberts’ short story collection, ‘Glimpses.’

Exploring Grandma’s house, I set a ladder into the attic. As if waiting for me, a leather-bound journal appeared in a stray sunbeam next to the ladder. Opening it, I journeyed back to 1886. With Great-Grandma, I watched workmen lay limestone foundation stones, level them, and frame the two stories with gables. She couldn’t wait to move into her very own space. At the end, she wrote that things started moving mysteriously. She heard noises. She described a ghost in the attic: brown hair, green eyes, dressed like me. She even noticed my silver barrette—her barrette I inherited.

Judges’ Comments:

We all enjoyed this story greatly, reminding me of one of my favourite films, ‘The Others’ and the question, who are the real ghosts? But it is the way the writer so beautifully crafts the story through the eyes of the young woman reading Great-Grandma’s journal that makes this such a fascinating time travel story with a twist. It evokes a sort of parallel universe, where glimpses of ghosts from the past and the future are revealed in the present. Mike could almost smell the mustiness as he soaked up the atmosphere in Grandma’s attic. Hugh loved the description of the stray sunbeam pointing out the leather-bound journal as if it were a signal from the past. A fantastic trip down memory lane.

Now to our Highly Commended stories.

Hugh’s choice:

Untitled by Tracey Robinson

The greenhouse effect was brutal in the car and Lindsey’s three year old howled with misery. It was a long drive from Montana to Arizona. Spying a park at the next exit she found a deserted, shady playground. Soon Katie was worn out. “Want ice cream?” Lindsey asked Katie.

As Lindsey strapped Katie into her car seat she felt dizzy and decided to find a place with air-conditioning. She closed the car door and collapsed, her head bouncing off the pavement. Katie’s wails went unheard as the temperature in the car climbed and then she too succumbed to death.

Hugh’s Comments: This is a story about what many of us in today’s’ world believe is happening. Although it had a brutal twist, it is so near a situation that could well be just around the corner, and a truth that many of the people of today will experience whether they become victims themselves, or hear or read a story about the events that unfold in this story. It had me smiling while I read it because it was a lovely, happy story about a mother and her new baby on a typical day out. I was comply astounded by the ending, even though it’s an ending that has hints of real truth consequences of what is happening to our planet.

Mike’s Choice:

Untitled by Nidheesh Samant (The Dark Netizen)

This was it, the conclusion of my long journey.
I was tired of the slum I was living in. It was suffocating, seeing the same sad faces every day. I could not continue living in the darkness as my family did. One day, I left my home and decided to travel to the glamorous big city. I managed to hitchhike at a highway diner.

As I reached my destination, I thanked the man in the only way I knew how. I drank his blood. Now it’s time to live my dream of spreading dengue and malaria in the city.

Mike’s Comments: I enjoyed this very well written story greatly for its stealthy, surreptitious mood. Concise and punchy, the writer took me on a journey that filled me with a sense of foreboding from the start and concluded with its wonderfully doom-filled twist. This is one hitchhiker I hope never to encounter out on the open road.

Sherri’s Choice:

Homeward Hike by Liz Husebye Hartmann

Above the timberline, stunted trees of high altitude are little more than memory. As far as the eye can see, reindeer moss is sparked with tiny white flowers and golden clusters of cloudberry. My boots crunch and drag across sharp gravel. I should break for steaming tea and chocolate squares, gather cloudberries, and save my orange.

The final peak stands stern above the clouds.

No stop, berries abandoned, I emerge, eyelashes ice-coated, blinded by sunset. I’ve made it from filthy city to purified mountain top, in time for transport.

I lift my hands to the pulsating beam of light.

Sherri’s Comments: This beautifully crafted story has an ethereal, dream-like quality. Through its highly defined description, I imagine a woman hiking up a mountain, which is ordinary enough albeit challenging, but the key is in the title: she’s going home. But where is home? My intrigue grows as she hikes ever higher, not stopping, at last reaching her destination. But then the writer mentions transport. At the top of a mountain? The answer lies in ‘the pulsating beam of light.’ In the final ten words, the writer reveals that the woman’s home is otherworldly and her spaceship awaits. A fantastic travel story with a twist I did not see coming.

And that wraps up this Travel with a Twist contest. Time to unpack and attack the laundry but first: Thank you so much, Charli, for honouring me with the privilege of leading a contest at the Rodeo for a second year running. Big thanks also to my fellow rough writers here at the Ranch and my wonderful community at the Summerhouse, for all your amazing support throughout of all the contests. And of course, a massive thank you to my lovely, stalwart co-judges, Mike Matthews and Hugh Roberts – couldn’t have done this without you, no way. Congratulations, one and all; let’s ride and write like the wind until the next time!

Thanks so much for your great support and for entering, Deb. I love that we can read all the stories entered for all the contests on the page links Charli has set up…yours I felt like I was right there with ‘you’, walking clear through customs…phew! Great story! ❤

Reblogged this on Colleen Chesebro ~ The Faery Whisperer and commented:
What a wild ride it was at this year’s Carrot Ranch rodeo! Check out the fabulous stories from the “Travel with a Twist,” category. I’m thrilled to have won first place! ❤

That’s how I do most of the time. It’s like brewing. Great job. ❤
My 9 year-old daughter's first Halloween poem included in an anthology was about the witches brewing – adding blood… and human too… hoo hoo hoo! ❤

Thanks so much, Miriam! This was a hard task for the judges, let me tell you. I wish we could have made every story a winner, all a wonderful and really enjoyable read…and so diverse. So glad we have the collections posted here to read every single one:-) ❤ 🙂

Absolutely, every story has great merit and we so much enjoyed reading them, and now in the collection too. I just read all of them from the other contests too, and wow, talk about stiff competition! Thanks so much for your lovely, kind message, Miriam! 🙂 ❤ 🙂

Thanks, Miriam. I do…I did get it to the editor! The last push was pretty brutal, and since then I’ve been manically catching up with everything else. Will put up a post next week hopefully to update and sign off for Christmas. Thanks so much for your support, Miriam. I will keep you posted, but for now I can breathe a little while it’s with the editor 🙂 ❤

I can feel you, Sherri. What I learn about having an editor or going with a publisher is a battle. One person in my creative writing class said her manuscript got trimmed by 1/3.
I’m glad you could take a break and I look forward to your update. ❤ 🙂

I can well believe it, Miriam. I await those edits more nervously with each passing day! Huge apologies for my late reply, I’m only just now getting a chance to return to WP and still hoping to get that update out before Christmas and catch up with you, too! Thanks again, Miriam…great chatting with you as always 🙂 ❤ 🙂

Don’t worry, Sherri! For your next writing project, try to use prowritingaid.com. You can load several paragraphs at a time to proof read. I use it even for my blog posting. It’s free when you load below certain word count. Download it and see if you like it. ❤ 🙂

You were so right, Miriam…I just got my edits back and I am very encouraged! I will not be able to get to them with much gusto until the new year, but then I will be hitting them hard. Still hoping to get that post up but it will have to be Monday or not at all now…meanwhile, thank you again, Miriam, it’s great chatting with you! Have a lovely weekend and catch up with you next week! 🙂 ❤ 🙂

The honour was all mine, Hugh, thank you again so much for being such a brilliant judge. As I said to Charli, I think you, Mike and I make a great team lol 🙂 And I totally agree…all marvellous pieces. Love your medal emojie 🙂 ❤

Reblogged this on A View From My Summerhouse and commented:
With great excitement, it’s time at last to announce the winners of my flash fiction contest, Travel With A Twist. Thank you so much for your support here and at the Rodeo and for a fantastic response to this and all the contests. My co-judges, Mike and Hugh, and I, greatly enjoyed every story, which made our task that much harder. Read on for the three winning and three highly commended flashes, travel stories with a fantastic twist in just 99 words. Huge congratulations one and all!

Thanks to the judges, for the inspiring prompt and their thoughtfulness and great explanation of how they went about choosing! Honored to have been mentioned, and really wowed by the clever artistry of the winners, Colleen, Frank, and Faith. A lot of heart, with a twist and shout!
Looking forward to reading the other entries!

PS…was at a literacy writing event today as one of the representatives of Drinian Press. Talked to a couple students who write short stories and poetry about Carrot Ranch. Hopefully, there will be a few new writers here in the weeks to come.

Reblogged this on Aweni and commented:
So many talents on display here. I absolutely adore every story and I had to share. The competition was stiff.
Congratulations to Colleen on winning first place! I didn’t see the twist coming at all.

Many congratulations to Colleen, Frank, and Faith, but also to everyone who entered the Travel with a Twist contest. You’re all winners for not only giving the contest a go, but for also entertaining us with your storytelling in so few words. Keep on writing and captivating us with your gift of creativity.

Congratulations to Colleen, Frank and Faith, the honourable mentions, and all the entrants. What fabulous stories that took us on journeys to places before unexplored. Thank you to Sherri, Hugh and Mike for selecting the winners in a task that is not to be envied. What a tough job, but you did. Thanks, Charli, for a safe spot for writers to write.

Thank you so much, Norah, for your fantastic support always and for your wonderful entry, which I so much enjoyed and still wondering what parts went where… a round the world trip with a difference for one, at least! I can’t wait to read your contest announcement…I bet you have not had an easy task either, the standard in all the contests has been amazing. I am so glad to sit back now and await yours! And yes, great mention to thank Charli for our safe spot…how we tender writers need that! 🙂 ❤

Thank you for your support also, Sherri. Your contest was fun and I enjoyed the prompt. I didn’t want to be too explicit in my story, but there was one particular part that she thought travelled into a few places it shouldn’t.
Judging my contest was difficult, but reading was fun. 🙂 Winners will be revealed very soon.