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Giving Up On The Game After Six Months

At risk of giving the Men’s Rights virgins some ammunition, here’s an email I received the other day, edited to remove any personal information:

I lived in Brazil most of my life, read The Game 6 months ago, and since then I have consumed lots of material about pick up. I noticed some solid improvement, both dealing with women and in my social life in general, but after reading your last post I found out that my goal is impossible to achieve.

I thought that by improving my game, I would be able to overcome the insane level of bitchiness of hot Brazilian girls on expensive clubs, which, as you said on your post, are the hottest here. But your post made me believe that pick up knowledge available does not have hot/rich Brazilian girls in mind. I know from personal experience (from before and after reading any material) that the same principles apply, but I am no longer confident that what is available is enough for Brazilian expensive clubs.

[In the United States], I was amazed by how approachable American girls were, and in average they were hotter too! I could at least get a phone number from a reasonably good looking girl every night. I felt like fishing in barrel, compared to my life in Brazil.

Anyway, I think I will officially retire from my pick up studies. I make very good living, and have good social skills. I am not very good looking (a 6 or 7 I’d say), but I have been on a long term relationship with a solid 9-10. She’s a very nice girl, I just thought that it was bad timing, and that I had more of life to experience. I thought that studying pick up would have made a more mature man, helping dealing with anxiety, and evolve my social skills as a whole. I thought to myself: “when I am confident enough so that I *feel* am able to pick up any girl I want — yes, those on those clubs –, I will have experienced my feelings and will be mature enough to settle down”. Anyway, I no longer believe that that goal is achievable.

My reply:

So you’ve been studying game for six months, have not banged a silly hot Brazilian girl, and deem it “impossible” even after you’ve seen improvements? Do you know how ridiculous this sounds? You’re writing this to a man who went to South America and was basically dying slowly but still went out there and chased hard until he [DBIP spoiler]. I’m sorry I can’t respect this email at all because it screams quitter. If I was also a quitter then we can whine together about how hard life is and how hard it is to bang pretty girls but no, because I don’t give up.

Your solution is to man up, stop whining, and go do 200 approaches in the three months.

A noteworthy part of his email:

I thought that studying pick up would have made a more mature man

In six months he expected to be a completely new man! Come on people: real, lasting change takes time. You can go out there with new lines or techniques and get laid in the next month, but changing who you are is a gradual process that you won’t notice until way into the future when you accomplish some difficult task or goal using some seemingly inconsequential thing you learned from a prior experience. It won’t be obvious.

I was reading the blog of this girl who traveled through South America. The post from when she returned home said something along the lines of, “I’m so disappointed that I’m back and feel like exactly the same person.” Unfortunately people want to go out and do this big experience and feel an immediate payoff to justify it, a result of the Western culture sickness where everything is cost-benefit analyzed to death. But of course that’s not how life works. The cumulation of many experiences will gradually change you, but nothing where you can draw a line from point A to B and say, “Yes climbing the Inca Trail has helped me… get this raise at work!”

Lastly, you can’t go wrong if you do things you enjoy that keep you engaged in life. I sought out the game because it’s what I wanted, not because I saw a bestselling book at Barnes & Noble that was targeted to my age and gender. If your heart isn’t into something and you merely follow popular trends, you’ll quit before accomplishing anything meaningful.

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This guy is typical of people in general. You could replace anything with learning game: after 6 months of [working out / investing / culinary school] I thought I’d [look like a Calvin Klein model / be a millionaire / be Gordon Ramsey’s favorite chef] but I’m not so I’m giving up. I’m satisfied with my [beer gut / breaking even / cooking at Olive Garden].

I say great. Less dudes out there pushing game means less bitchiness from girls for me.

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9 years ago

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Chris

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Yeah, a lot of these guys haven’t put themselves through the social bootcamp of going out 5 nights a week for a couple of years. They’ve got a lot of catching up to do when it comes to just interacting with groups of people their age, and no amount of (mostly bad/useless) game advice from a book is going to cure their social limitations on a fundamental level. If you can’t pull a Brazilian after 6 months, then I would say that something is off with the foundation. I’ve personally seen a Brazilian 9.5 married to a guy who’s education and looks would pull him a 5 here in the states.

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9 years ago

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Carl Sagan

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First of all, I think that the original email is from a chick. It just doesn’t sound like a guy at all.

Now if it is from a guy, I concur with what others have said. Any meaningful change takes serious work and time.

A good analogy is training. In our culture everybody wants to look ripped and huge for the summer…but they only have 6 weeks in which to do it in! Give me a fucking break. The guys and gals that are in shape most likely got to that level because of some gut busting hard work.

Lasting change is difficult. It takes dedication, persistence, and time.

Once adulthood comes around, you notice people are placed into two categories: 1) Chump 2) Champ.

Most people fall into the chump category. Why? Ask 98.5% of people out in the world. They each have their own uniquely boring story.

Now, the interesting part… The Champs! What makes a champ? Desire, Strength, and Courage.

Chumps have:Weak desire: “I wish I could bang that girl, but she’s so hot…”Weak Strength: “I could do that if I really tried, but I don’t want to make life more challenging/interesting than it is.”Weak/No Courage: “Do what??! You gotta be kidding me!”

It’s worse than that. Unless you act different, everyone else will treat you exactly the same way they always have! As if you didn’t do anything.

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9 years ago

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Chris

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By social bootcamp, I mean getting to the point where you are socially adept enough where you can easily befriend any stranger or group of strangers, if you wish, and don’t project undesirable or socially awkward/weird behavior. You have the ability to make people relax around you. Girls and guys actually seek out your friendship and company. Remember, girls and guys have to be on-board, as some guys are great with other guys but weird around girls. Its basically the process of becoming “cool”. Cool is more important than fun, as you are not there to entertain. But fun usually accompanies cool. People who act cool, but they do it through being aloof so as to gain social power, are usually geeks in actuality.

If you can go anywhere, and hang out with anyone, then you don’t need a bootcamp period. If you get extremely nervous or awkward anywhere, or with anyone, then you need to keep socializing as much as possible. Practice makes perfect, with moderate alcohol consumption generally being the fuel of that practice. Eventually, you won’t need the alcohol.

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9 years ago

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Chris

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BTW, the “newbie mission” and the social bootcamp are different but not mutually exclusive, as you can do them both together. “Gaming” girls the right way is generally congruent with being just a cool guy to be around. However, you don’t need to be constantly practicing game to be undertaking your social bootcamp. But I don’t know why you wouldn’t hit on girls at the same time. Just make sure you are being cool about it, and not weird.

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9 years ago

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Evan

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I think everyone is misreading the original e-mail. He’s saying that he was discouraged by the post written by Roosh- not by 6 months of field experience- which said that having game isn’t enough to pick up the hottest girls in the rich clubs.

So true about people who *expect* a big life change. Hello, life change is something that just happens. Usually you don’t notice because it happens *slowly.* You have to look back to 5 years or even 1 year ago…

P.S. Liked the other post about how men’s rights movement people are perceived… I’ve heard them called “flamers” (as in being in the closet or something). Most normal go-getter guys don’t even know what the heck men’s rights are. Complainers and lazy people are turn offs… how loserly to give up. & if the system sucks learn how work it, find the loopholes.

I’ve been keyboard jockey for 4-5 years and the funny thing about it is…I’m Just starting to really know “Game”. Yeah i took some bootcamp with theApproach guys didn’t learn any shit of their methods nor some of their tactics because it was too advance and too much info at the time but at least I get to approach some honeys in Boston 3 Years ago. At least i had some feedback both by the instructors and on my own experience. The bootcamp was somewhat of scam because i didn’t get any “Return Of Investment” but I get to approach and somewhat get over my fears of approaching. I also realized looking back now they don’t reject you! It’s YOU that reject yourself out low self-esteem, they reject your presentation, the way you present yourself, and your vibe (Body Language).

Yeah I chose the wrong company to attain my goals. Hey some Companies are good but some are just Internet Marketing Scam Artist. They’re good at seducing money out of your pockets. hehehe!

After all those years wasting my time at the fringes of the community i’ve found the right method that suits me and my personality which the Juggler Method. At least I know Game now. I’m not blind anymore. Oh yeah, It’s better to be natural than use bullshit methods of the community most of it are scams anyways. Plus i’ve somewhat mature thanks to my forays outside the community.

Right now I need to shut up, get my lazy to approach women…right after i get a job but that’s just excuse. hehehe!

That’s where I am right now! I’ll take me a while to get to where I desire to be but hey “Time is an Illusion and there is only Eternity…right?” So i’ve all Eternity right now to get a handle on this.

It’s tough to infiltrate the elite class of Latin American no matter what country you’re in. The Brazilian elite, wealthy class is no exception. But why even bother? The wealthy elite in Brazil probably amounts to somewhere around 2-5% of the population. What about the other 95% of the population? There are plenty of Brazilian women in the upper middle class, middle class, and lower middle class who probably look just as hot as the wealthiest girls… Maybe they don’t have the money to get breast implants or fix themselves up like the richest of the rich in Brazil, but dam… Just take one of these girls from the middle class and fix her up yourself. Beauty doesn’t discriminate, there are many middle class and even lower class women who look amazing.

[…] blasts a guy for giving up on game after only six months. Some guys want results without […]

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9 years ago

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madmax

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like you implied, Roosh, that guy is a little spoiled bitch. He’s never been hungry, or angry.

6 months is fucking nothing. I took about 4 years to change my self-defeating beliefs. Like Roosh said, learning is cumulative. It’s a combination of everything you learn, giving birth to a sort of chemical reaction.

That’s why I really like ‘game’. I see it simply as self-improvement for men. Best thing I have done. The hardest too, but man I could never go back to who I was 4 years ago.

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6 years ago

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Quintus Curtius

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Another gem from Roosh’s bezels of wisdom. As corroboration, I’ve notice that the improvement part of any endeavor takes place in the long, long term:
1. In weightlifting, you will make rapid progress at first, then plateau out frequently. Only sustained effort over years will enable you to break through the barriers.
2. With language learning, you often see improvement develop imperceptibly over time…even to the extent that improvement seems to happen when you set your books aside for a week and then come back refreshed. If you are not ready to make a daily commitment to language study for a period of years, you will achieve a decent level of proficiency.
3. With game, you have to have the same “fuck it” attitude. It is almost the equivalent of undergoing a spiritual conversion. You must finally get to a point where you will not accept failure with women any longer. You must undergo a conversion, so to speak. My conversion to game came during my first year on Okinawa as a Marine in the early 1990s. After striking out repeatedly with local girls, I had run into a brick wall. I hit rock bottom when I went to a movie theater alone in Naha City and saw a couple American guys a lot less desirable than I, but who had hot Japanese chicks on their arms. At that point I became an approach madman. I finally broke through and found my niche success: landing hot girls who worked at makeup counters in the big department stores in Naha City.
So, moral of the story: fight, fight, fight. Never surrender, and go down swinging.