Wedding robot gets the job done

With lights flashing, adding to the sense of urgency, we all felt the suspense of the robot's message each episode to young Will on the classic TV series "Lost in Space."

Perhaps Robot wasn't just warning Will about the aliens behind that space rock. The complexities of organizing a wedding can be more horrific than any creature in Alpha Centauri. Balancing the political issues of two families and two cultures can turn any man from a dashing Major Don West to a bumbling Dr. Smith. Just ask the crew of Jupiter 2: A well-meaning mission could be thrown off course forever.

For example, I had a priest and a rabbi at our wedding, thus ensuring that everyone would be insulted a little bit. Even in the same religion, two families may become further divided over whose clergyperson is the most holy. How about a judge? Too impersonal.

To really bring the world together, people need the Nuptron 4000, created by Chicago artist Ben Stone. Ben proposed to Amy Jordan a year ago while eating Eggos on the sofa during "The Price is Right." Yes, here's a man who knows when the feeling is right and how to capture the moment. That's why he knew a robot wedding was the perfect romantic element to begin the voyage of matrimony.

Nuptron 4000 married Ben and Amy last month at an outdoor ceremony in Waverly, Iowa. Although that may sound impersonal, there was barely a dry eye in the house.

"We just wanted it to be meaningful. It sidesteps the usual politics and lets the thing just exist," Ben said. "[Amy's dad] was worried it would be dumb, but he said it was powerful."

You might be turned off by the idea of a prerecorded sermon played through a boom box mounted on the back of a robot, but think about it: Haven't we all been to a wedding where the clergyperson was on autopilot, giving a canned sermon?

This robot seemed to command respect. The forceful monotone delivery and its electronic resonance had the audience focusing on every word.

"People said they never expected to get choked up from a robot," Ben said. "I think it says it ultimately is what you bring to it. It's special if it works for you."

If you're looking for a robot preacher, Ben might be open to an offer to build you one; Nuptron 4000 is now unfortunately retired. After all, there's great sentimentality there for these newlyweds. But Ben should know, a spouse does not come with a remote control, which makes marriage far more adventurous than being lost in space. We just hope Ben doesn't have to go back to the studio to create Divorcetron 4000.