As the skit opens in the year 2020, HeadmistressMinerva McGonagall is welcoming a group of first yearGryffindor students to Hogwarts, introducing them to the Gryffindor Common Room. She mentions that some of the Gryffindor students have become legend and just then Harry enters the room, asking if someone said "legend." "Harry Potter!" cries one of the new students and he confirms that he is indeed "The Boy Who Lived, in the flesh."

He congratulates the students on making Hogwarts and says that these will be the best days of their lives. "Honestly, the best. It does not get better." One of the students asks what he's doing there and he says that he thought he'd apparate in for the weekend and "welcome the newbies." He says that it feels like he was just there yesterday and McGonagall replies that he was there yesterday, and the day before. He asks if He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is giving them any trouble. "No, he's dead!" replies one of the students and Harry says, "Oh! That's right! I killed him! Remember that?! That was great!" He and the students share high-fives.

He says that he did that when he was 18 and, equally exciting, just yesterday he bought a Volvo. He says they should celebrate and pulls out a can and McGonagall tells him that alcohol isn't allowed at Hogwarts. He says it's "just butterbeer... is it?"

Just then, Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger enter the room. Harry asks how they are and Hermione reminds him that they're teachers now. "We work here, so it's not weird," comments Ron. Harry says that "the gang's all back together," and they share a hug. Ron says that he thought Harry was out of town and Harry admits that he's been busy - signing autographs, doing magic shows and such, but one thing he can't make disappear is his mortgage. Draco Malfoy arrives and Harry comments that he's "still hanging around, lurking," and whispers as an aside to one of the female first-years "I made varsity Seeker first-year. Doesn't happen often."

He asks Malfoy what he wants and he says that he and his wife are dropping off their daughter for orientation and that she saw him outside playing Quidditch and cheering for himself. Harry at first denies it, then admits it, but says that he's having fun, unlike Draco, who's "boring and married." Rubeus Hagrid enters and says that Draco's not the only one - introducing his wife - Luna Lovegood! Harry says that's brilliant and that he's glad to know everyone's doing great. "Not everyone," gripes a sinister voice, and the group turns to a portrait of Severus Snape. "Still watching me from beyond," comments Harry. He tells everyone that he used to think Snape was working for the Dark Lord, but it turned out he was looking after him the whole time. "Oops." Snape comments that Harry "turned out fantastically, definitely worth sacrificing my life." Harry asks Hagrid if Snape is being sarcastic. Ron and Hermione say they have to get back to work and everyone starts to leave. Harry asks who wants to re-enact the fight he had with Voldemort on the bridge ("Spoiler alert: I win.") and some of the first-years accompany Harry.

Behind the scenes

The skit featuring Harry's return to Hogwarts takes several likely deliberate liberties with the Harry Potter universe including Harry being able to apparate into Hogwarts, Harry having been 18 instead of 17 when he defeated Voldemort, and Harry often not referring to Voldemort by name. Also, McGonagall is still Headmistress by 2020, as opposed by being replaced before 2017, though it is possible this mistake was not deliberate, as McGonagall's replacement as Headmistress by this time was only mentioned in interviews released after the series had ended.