Is Nothing: Sacred Citadel Out Now

I’m still not entirely sure how Sacred Citadel emerged from a creative cauldron in the vicinity of semi-esteemed Diablo-alikes Sacred 1 and 2, but I can’t knock a series for having a go at a new genre. And so, while Sacred 3 grows large and strong under lock and key, we get a sidescrolling beat-’em-up with fantastical trappings and a God-of-War-style eye for scale. I do not, however, believe we’ll be tearing that eye from its stringy stalk with our bare hands – aka, Kratos’ version of handshake – as Citadel seems a bit less, er, psychopathic. At any rate, there’s a launch trailer after the break, heralding the off-the-beaten path beat-’em-up’s release. Weird, right? A launch trailer on launch day? Who does that anymore?

Here’s a basic rundown of who you’ll be biffing, how you’ll be biffing, and – most importantly – why you reluctantly biff up a bodycount in the thousands despite your peace-loving nature.

“The once peaceful land of Ancaria is in grave danger. The evil Ashen empire has enslaved its population and is using the orc-like Grimmoc to wipe out the Seraphim, who swore to protect it. In order to defeat the empire you will have to prove yourself as a warrior by riding terrifying mounts, acquiring earth shattering skills and looting powerful weapons and valuable treasures. Grab your friends and join the resistance!”

Generally speaking, these things are at their best in co-op, and Citadel seems to rightly embrace that trend. Other than that, the big bullet points are loot and obsessive weapon selection, and between all of those things, Citadel actually sounds quite a lot like its top-down cousins. Just, you know, from the side. The initial announcement caused children to weep and grown adults to flee into the streets, screaming, but it might just work.

Honestly, though, I haven’t played it yet, so have any of you taken a crack at its pinata-colored loot pinata paradise? Is it worth the $15 cost of entry?