I want to always be on film,
to be caught in the cut coffee sober
Ding-di-di-ding-di-di-ding-ding-boom-boom-boulder

Unscratched lenses
of a brand new prescription
Drawing days from a stacked deck of cards
and doing, doing, doing

I should cut down my caloric intake
I should go to sleep hungry
and wake up with my guts knotted up
and ears open like a burnt down hut

I want my mouth to always taste the blade
but I want, but I want, but (ooooooh)
I want to kiss like taffy
Hump gentle on a bed of nails and
Feel salt to widen eyes like a cut-up clam's tongue does
I wanna dump early on and be empty the rest
I want a patch of blue sky to follow me

Unfold an oragami death mask
and cut my DNA with rubber traits
Pull apart the double helix like a wishbone
Always be working on a suicide note

I don't want to (oo-ee-oo)
when I feel like I could have gone longer
(repeat x3)

I don't want to (oo-ee-oo)
when I feel like I could have gone...

Productive, fully-charged, cocked and pointed
Keep a tape recorder on my bedside table
Sweats, only the pants that fit the best, no belts, no cuffs
Walked toned yet loose keep peeled eyes glued to a ten
Watch a fly hit a pane of glass till it gets real bony
His stomach swells up and he dies

I don't want to (oo-ee-oo)
when I feel like I could have gone longer
(repeat x3)

32 Comments

"MOM,I’ve kept a razor under my tongue since I was a small toddler with a tight belt I haven’t been able to kiss a woman with an open mouth, my friend Cause I’m afraid that I’d split her lip,Is that sick?"
Jimmy Breeze Side A - cLOUDDEAD

Yeah there is def. a connection When i was was growing up in NY we use to keep blades in our mouth in case of a fight. or b/c we thought it was cool to be a badass. at this stage in my life i would connect it to the latter.....lol

General Commenta person is stuck in an emotional rut and finds himself incapable of getting out of it. so after some time of depression the person gets up and starts shaping his life, keeping himself occupied all the time, paying attention to details, telling him over and over again that he's doing fine, even getting better.

then the fly hits the pane of glass and dies, causing the person to get back to his depression. this whole process is being repeated every day and every night the person relives the depression over and over again. he's crying that he doesn't want to feel it anymore, he is doing all he can to make it stop, but nothing helps. he's still stuck with his depression and all the while he's showing everybody a smiling face.

General CommentI partly agree with proxima, song definitely seems to be about depression. But I feel that it's more about it whittling away at the things you wish to do/accomplish. He lists the many many things he wants to do, be productive. He's trying so damn hard. But even when he has everythign all prepped and ready to go, the depression prevents him from goind any further. "I don't want to, when I feel like I could have gone longer" I think that right there totally sums it up for me. He wants to do more be more, but the depression sets in and F*%*s it all up.

Anyways, that's what this song means to me, and I feel right along with it.

General CommentI think this song is about a person wavering between living and comitting suicide. In the verses he is listing all this stuff he wants to do and that he wants to happen to him but then in the middle of the verse it changes to something more negative that makes him feel like killing himself again.
The chorus "I dont want to when I feel like I could have gone longer" means, in this interperatation, that he no longer wants to kill himself once he feels like he could continue living longer.
There are also little hints that he is prepared to kill himself at ant time. "I want to always taste a blade", "Keep a tape recorder on my bedside table", "Drawing dates from a stacked deck of cards and doom-doom-doom".
I think the Rubber Traits part could be like Treefinger said, a fake personality in that either he is suicidal for attention or that he pretends to be fine though he is suicidal. I'm not sure which one makes more sense.

My InterpretationI have always taken this song to refer to anorexia or bulimia, and I'm surprised no one else has. WHY? tends to produce very edgy, cleverly-written pieces. Pardon the length.

"I should cut down my caloric intake
I should go to sleep hungry
and wake up with my guts knotted up"
This is the way the condition starts to manifest; they start by cutting back, not eating too late in the evening; typical things some people might do while they're trying to lose weight, that are steadily taken to extremes.

"I want my mouth to always taste the blade"
This is a tricky metaphor, but it's likely about the coppery taste that comes when you taste blood. Could be referring to bleeding of the gums, a common issue with bulimics due to brushing too hard to conceal their bad breath (after vomiting). This may ALSO be interpreted as bleeding gums due to a vitamin deficiency, which is often an issue with anorexics.

"Hump gentle on a bed of nails"
I'd assume this has to do with being skinny, though, I could be wrong.

"Feel salt to widen eyes like a cut-up clam's tongue does"
Lack of moisture can make your eyes sting, which is an issue with anorexia.

"I wanna dump early on and be empty the rest"
This can refer to emptying your stomach/bowels, by use of either induced vomiting or laxatives. Bulimia, obviously.

"Unfold an oragami death mask
and cut my DNA with rubber traits
Pull apart the double helix like a wishbone
Always be working on a suicide note"
This is a bit hard to pin down exactly; it COULD refer to the crippling depression and desire to be someone else that comes hand in hand with eating disorders, but, honestly, it has many other potential interpretations.

"I don't want to--
when I feel like I could have gone longer"
Perhaps the most DISTINCT anorexic line: They don't want to eat, because they are -sure- (in their own minds) they can survive a little longer without food.

"Sweats, only the pants that fit the best, no belts, no cuffs"
Mid to late-stage anorexics usually wear baggy clothing.

"Watch a fly hit a pane of glass till it gets real bony
And his stomach swells up and he dies"
I believe this is talking about he himself dying, not an ACTUAL fly. A fly is something disgusting and insignificant to most people; it's fighting against a pane of glass, idiotically, as the fly cannot win. (Poor interpreting, I admit.) But, certainly, the stomach swelling up and dying is referring to death by starvation.

I am sorry but this is really dumb. This song is obviously about dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts, but it seems like you probably struggle with some sort of eating disorder and just really want the song to be about something you relate with.

The caloric intake line makes a little bit of sense, but in the context of this song is almost certainly about the low self-esteem and lack of appetite that comes with severe depression.
The line about the blade is not about bleeding gums and the brushing too hard/vitamin deficiency idea is one HELL of a stretch. People that plan to commit suicide by cutting themselves will often handle and play with the blade while they are thinking about it and deciding, and if that person has an oral fixation (smokers) they will probably put it in their mouth. My interpretation is a little bit of a stretch as well, this line is one of the more ambiguous. But because this song is obviously about depression, and seeing the way Yoni handles the idea of blood and it's taste in other songs, there is no way that he is referring to blood in the mouth with this line.
The bed of nails line has absolutely nothing to do with being skinny, it's about precarious situations. To stay on a bed of nails you have to keep your weight evenly distributed on the nails or else they will drive into your back. Having sex on a bed of nails would be impossible because it puts strong pressure on specific parts of your body, but I think this is more of metaphor dealing with depression again; feeling like one wrong move could send your whole life tumbling down like you just lost at jenga.
The origami death mask line is un-ambiguously about hating yourself and even you couldn't separate it from that, but you still managed to connect it with eating disorders somehow. It's hard to pin down because you're trying so hard to associate it with something that it has nothing at all to do with. This is the line that makes this song so obviously about depression. Without it I could see a lot of different interpretations of this song, even yours, but because it is there it puts the rest of the song in the context of depression. If you think about it from that perspective it makes perfect sense. You don't have to try to connect the words with depression by assuming that everything is a complex metaphor like you have to. This song basically tells you exactly what it is about.
Your idea about the "I don't want to" line makes a little bit of sense, but the fact that it comes right after the origami death mask line totally invalidates the eating disorder idea. It is completely about contemplating suicide. People don't commit suicide every time they think about it, otherwise you'd never hear about them. Most suicidal ideations end with the person deciding that they can wait just a little bit longer.
The sweats line has to deal with losing weight but not because of an eating disorder, losing weight is an extremely common symptom of depression.
You're right about the fly line, it is a metaphor, flies don't have bones and i don't think they have stomachs, and i think that it is referring to the "fly" dying of starvation (although i think dying of starvation is a metaphor in its self, and if it is that's another reason this song is not about eating disorders). But I still don't see how it could be related to eating disorders given the rest of the song, and I don't think that they fly is meant to be the same person as the narrator. He's watching the fly, I think that it is about looking out your window and seeing the whole world go by, people going to work and coming home, doing the same thing every day until they drop dead without ever having mattered. Most suicidal people aren't just depressed about themselves but with the world and the concept of life. Most people contemplate suicide because they feel that life is not worth living, there are varying reasons for this but a common one is that they don't want to go on for the rest of their life just going to work and then coming home to watch TV like most people do. I can see why you would interpret that as having to do with eating disorders with the word bony and seeming reference to starvation, but it just makes absolutely no sense in this context. I am again sorry but nothing you said makes any sense at all in the context of this song.

Everyone has their own interpretations of songs. Just because you don't agree with mine doesn't mean you should call it dumb. Apologizing for calling it dumb is really childish. You just sound like a jackass, writing a huge wall of text to argue something that was written nearly a year ago.

This, anorexia and bulimia, is actually what came to my mind instantly upon reading these lyrics and I too was surprised it wasn't mentioned up until your comment. "I am sorry but this is really dumb" is a really dumb way to start an argument, sorry.

My InterpretationFor me (and I have to begin in this way because I believe in the multiple interpretations of lyrics or any art work for that matter), I find that Rubber Traits does speak to ideas of not necessarily suicide, but almost a shutting down of spirit. The old saying "I am rubber and you are glue" comes to mind and wanting to merge your DNA with "Rubber Traits" to me means that there is a want to be able to bounce back from emotional destruction. To me, a lot of the lyrics comment on this idea of being able to continue on in life when it really hands you the worst. We constantly tell ourselves the things that we "should" do, but who is really prescribing that we should cut down on calories and starve ourselves? We can sometimes blame mainstream media that tells us to look and act a certain way, or to feel badly about ourselves for being different. I find this song to be a plea to be able to withstand the emotional battle of feeling inadequate and wanting to become immune to the hardships of daily life.