Monday, July 06, 2009

I have a friend struggling with an ugly divorce situation. She's a great blogger, sharing all the venom in her veins for us to bear with her. I do know it is helping her as I've seen her heal over the months.

She posted a blog entry on being alone and how she struggles with being alone.

I too struggled. Thought that I should have a group of friends like the ones in John Hughes movies. Many a year I'd say to James that our New Years Resolution was to "get friends."

But I came to a fine realization in 2006. Amidst a crappy moment in our marriage, we sought counseling. The counselor suggested we do a quick test about personalities and traits.

Low and behold, I tested out as an introvert. What a relief to find that my inner struggle to create "normalcy" in my life was over.

I judged myself for years, since junior high and highschool, for the lack of a circle of friends.

Now I know. All those years of yearning for a big group of people to be with, have dinner with, have parties with, go camping with, yatta yatta yatta is over.

While I thought I wanted friends, I really didn't. Game over. Calming effect really. Quite freeing.