Saturday, March 26, 2016

Last night "Miss K" had a bowling party with her high school equestrian team. Thank God I had the fore site to eat before we went to the bowling alley, because you know how much food you can eat at a bowling alley when you are on Whole30? NONE! But my God, did it look good.... Seriously, it was if my brain had a split personality.

Some folks I didn't even know sat down next to me, and had the greasiest, gooiest, cheesiest pizza I had ever seen and all I could think was: "Divert your eyes... Divert your eyes... Seriously! Divert your damn eyes!"

And now I know I have hit rock bottom.

After those folks got up to leave there were 4-5 pieces of their pizza left on their table, and for a second I seriously had this thought: "Those people looked clean enough. I could probably eat a piece of their left over pizza. I mean why waste good food?!"

It was at about this time that the logical part of my brain piped up and said: "Are you freaking serious?! That is disgusting! We do NOT eat left over pizza off stranger's tables! Control yourself!"

Friday, March 25, 2016

Last night, I woke up out of a dead sleep at 11:30 pm, because I wanted a cupcake. I didn't just "want" a cupcake. I "needed" a cupcake the same way my lungs "need" air. That's how much I "needed" a cupcake.

It went like this:

At 11:30 pm, the house is quiet. All beings are sound asleep. I sit straight up out of a dead sleep, with a clarity like no other, and say: "I need a cupcake!"

I look over at The Reluctant Farmer, who is sleeping peacefully and I know.... She needs to get me a cupcake. So, I shake her awake....

Me: "Honey! I need a cupcake!"

RF: "What?!"

Me: "I need a cupcake, like NOW! Can you drive to Meijer and buy me a cupcake?! They have a 24 hour bakery I think! AND I want LOTS of icing!"

RF: "Are you serious?!"

Me: "Um, yes! Don't I sound serious?!"

RF: "No. No, I am not going to go buy you a cupcake at midnight. You made it all day with no sugar. Go back to bed."

Me: "But, now I am not tired."

RF: "Fine, take a Melatonin, and tell me if you still "need" a cupcake in 30 minutes."

Now, she knows I can't even take a child's sized dose of Benadryl with out passing out. (I am a cheap date!)

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

It wasn't easy. My body is pissed, and I am craving sugar like a crack addict needing her next fix. I am going to do this though. It helps to think that I just need to get through the next meal. And the next meal, and the next meal... This adventure is not as daunting if I look at it in shorter increments.

Tonight, The Reluctant Farmer said to me: "Well, congratulations! You lasted 12 hours longer than I thought you would!"

I wanted to reply: "Thanks, honey!" all sarcastic like. But, I used my mouth filter. (Which is hard to do when I want/need some carbohydrates....)

Monday, March 21, 2016

Tomorrow I am doing it! I am going to eliminate dairy, grain, alcohol, processed food, refined sugar and legumes from my diet. I have been wanting to try a Paleo diet for a long time, but I just can't commit to giving up all of that amazing, delicious food for all of eternity. I'm not good at commitment....

I am going to try this program called Whole30. It's basically Paleo, but a little more strict. However, 30 days seems much easier to swallow than giving up wine, Pepsi, and cheese for the rest of my life. There is an excellent chance I won't succeed at this, but on a positive note, if I fail, I can still enjoy the weekend!