Once more.............

Wonderful read!

that ours was not
a blind leap over the ledge
of reason where fingers slip
from dreams that will not be,
but built with waking days

So well written. Just lovely.

Syn

by
Anonymous03/03/05

It reminds me...

of the wife and myself. This is really powerful if your
world is tied to the one you want and need. I'm still working on the title, but I love the poem, my favorite
verse was the third, but the whole poem was loved. sandspike

The conversational tone

worked nicely in some areas, but seemed to slip too much into prose in a few areas. It recovered nicely though and flowed smoothly to a wonderful completion. I love:

"...and how close
the space we've made
for two."

Nicely done,

jim : )

by
03/04/05

Ohh

I most definitely enjoyed reading this. I just felt the lines were a bit uneven, which caused the flow to be a little rocky in places. I hope you appreciated the honesty as much as I enjoyed your poem.