I don't seem to have bras that appear from nowhere....but underpants? Yes, those occasionally show up. And I haven't worn them yet, but I have this awful feeling that if I did, I'd wind up with monster wedgies....

is there any other garment we have such a love/hate relationship with as we do with bras?

especially now that girdles are passe?

sure, we could riff on panties awhile. my daughter sometimes ridicules my "granny panties," which -- as a granny -- i feel perfectly entitled to wear, thankyouverymuch! i look at her thongs and think why not just go commando if that's what you consider underwear. i remember janet evanovich's line in one of her stephanie plum tales -- something to the effect that thong underwear is fine if you like flossing your butt.

but seriously, is there anything more infuriating than a bra that doesn't fit right? (i'm not really sure there's any other kind, but i'll give them the benefit of the doubt.) if the cups are right, the straps don't stay up. if the cups and straps are right, there's not enough fabric along the side to support the chub under the pits. if all of the above are ok, the fastener will suddenly unfasten of its own volition. and if everything else is perfect, the straps will somehow show -- and they'll look dirty because someone threw that bra into a load with bluejeans.

Dang, I hate it when that happens! My only resort - living such an active lifestyle - has been to adopt the spandex (aka: ace bandage sewn into some lycra torture device) sport bra. Sure, it doesn't have lace. And, admittedly, it is rather blah - but it does make the dogs sit up and bark without you having to watch them chase cars in the parking lot, if you know what I mean.

I'm laughing so hard that said boobs are glued to my knees even worse than usual (since I'm doubled over and snorting loudly). I also have several horrible boob-morphing bras - one of which failed me when I hit it big on the roulette table, jumped up yelling, and both huge globs of flesh came flying out of it, knocking all the chips off the table. But that's another story. As for the underpants... well, let's just say that if I wore anything other than granny support panties, they would disappear in the nether regions, never to be found again.

Well, I broke an underwire in the middle of an exam once. (just went "snap") and the right half of my 38 DDD's went woefully unsupported.Talk about your boob morphing!Luckily it was winter and I was able to fling on the coat for the subway ride home.Leslie - the knitting therapist

::loud snorking:: Ohdeargod! That should be an anthem. Somewhere. With full orchestration.

And if it's not one of the other joys mentioned, it's the damned straps rolling into tubes as they head for freedom, merrily booking down your shoulders as you wince 'n tug, wince 'n tug... (Rounded, sloping and narrow shoulders + big tits = straps that never. Stay. Flat. Hates 'em, we do.)

Been there, done that. Can't decide what's worse - a second set of auxiliary breasts coming out of the top of my bra, or an odd, oval uniboob when wearing a minimizer.

Seriously, though - get thee to a professional bra fitter! Once you find out what size those girls really need, you can buy lingerie with abandon and it'll lift, separate, and be your friend. Well, maybe not that last part, but still...

Why, oh why did I have to read that first thing in the morning? Now that song and your twisted lyrics will be stuck in my head all day. I feel your pain, though. It took me years to find a brand of bra that actually fits me, and just my luck they cost $60 a pop.

(*sneefle snork* while trying to restrain major guffaw)My coworkers thought I was having an asthma attack. I had to share. Now whole area sounds like they're having an asthma attack.

I've not encountered the mammarian escape but a friend did while playing Katherine from "The Taming of the Shrew". One boob kept escaping her corset when Petruchio grabbed her or threw her around. She just tucked it back in, only to have it pop out again. It made for great laughs.