UPDATE: Alex Dibranco is a woman. And I still love her question. Thank you to Alex for the correction.

Courtney over at Feministing have put together a compilation of various men’s thoughts in response to her previous post, which discusses alternatives to “toxic masculinity” (e.g., Tucker Max). My personal favorite (either by Courtney or David Pitcher — I can’t tell) echoes sentiments I expressed in response to a local outbreak of domestic violence murder-suicides:

Boys are so paranoid about appearing feminine that they adapt a “culture of cruelty” and retreat into the common male role. How can we raise our boys to break this pattern?

PLEASE NOTE: Many readers have stumbled across this post while searching for example letters of resignation. I am not suggesting the below resignation as a template or model if you are considering resigning from your workplace for similar issues. Please be aware that there are repercussions for resigning publicly, and for calling people on their crap if they have more institutional power than you do. One of the ways you can protect yourself from retaliation is to give your boss a letter of resignation that does not implicate or accuse them or wrong-doing. Unlike the below.

Below is the letter of resignation I just sent. I was doing anti-violence work under an executive director who has her entire staff terrified and purges the organization of all employees who show anything other than submissive assent to her. Why does she bully her employees? According to some recent peer-reviewed research in social psychology, it’s because she feels both incompetent AND empowered. Scary combination, and completely unacceptable and inappropriate anywhere — let alone within the context of anti-violence and social justice work!

How will hip hop ever grow to its full potential when the very gender that reproduces our future artists, activists, columnists, producers, and entrepreneurs of our urban community are belittled to almost an object for the testosterone filled modern day rappers? When did the women of our culture become only useful for physical beauty and sexual activity? Why doesn’t Rap music uplift and inspire their female listeners to reach the same level of success males have?

WOW. Grace Kelly. Y’all remember that, alright? Seriously. So I heard this amazing interpretation of “Ain’t No Sunshine” on the radio, waiting with baited breath to hear who the hell it was behind this crazy shee-it. Turns out, you have to qualify it as crazy youthful sixteen year old second-gen Korean American she-it to be accurate. Grace Kelly. Mood Changes.

In the liner notes, Don Heckman beautifully describes the casual sexism us men often carelessly throw around. Here’s an excerpt (emphasis mine):Read the rest of this entry »