What Can I Do For A Depressed Six Year Old?

Shay - posted on 11/02/2009
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Hi my name is Shay and im 26. I have a 6yr old son and a 2yr old daughter. I have always been a single mom. When it was just me and my son things were cool, I was able to give him lots of attention and we were very happy. Then i had a second child August 2007, when my son was 4. Ever since then his behavior has been getting worse. He lies all the time, he doesnt want to do anything, half the time he wont even talk to anyone. I try to divide my time between the 2 kids, I'll try to take him to the movies or skating or to the park and he will say he doesnt want to go. He just wants to sit in front of the TV all day. He wont play sports, he said he doesnt like anything. He doesnt play w/ other kids. He is just sad or mad all the time. He has even said he doesnt want to be alive anymore. That broke my heart to hear my son say that. I asked him why and he just refused to talk anymore. He will just sit and stare right thru me as if im not there. He is acting very weird lately and I dont know what to do..HELP

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Chanequa - posted on 11/02/2009

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Shay - I'm a licensed clinical psychologist. And while I can't give a definitive professional opinion without having ever seen your son, I strongly recommend that you get him in to see a therapist right away. He's clearly making a cry for help. Please take it seriously.

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Janelle - posted on 02/24/2010

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Please take him to see someone. I know that sometimes we as African- americans tend to look down on theraphy but when my Husband went to Iraq and my oldest daughter who was 4 at the time flipped out on me by hitting me, yelling and just being outright defiant. I am old school and I whupped her behind until it dawn on me she was only like that with me . I finally took her to a theraphist and the reason she was acting out was because she thought I took her daddy away because we took him to the unit and dropped him off and left. You never know how a kid sees things and sometimes that 3rd party is needed for them to express themselves and help them through it. My daughter was fine after a just a a few sessions.

SHAY PLEASE TAKE YOUR SON TO SEE SOMEONE RIGHT AWAY! MY DAUGHTER WHO IS NOW 18 FIRST SHOWED SIGN OF MAJOR DEPRESSION ALSO AT 6YRS OLD AND MADE THE SAME STATEMENTS YOU SON IS MAKING.THE HARDEST THING I EVER HAD TO DO WAS ADMIT MY 6 YR. OLD TO A HOSPITAL BUT I'M GLAD I DID OR ELSE HER CONDITION COULD NOT HAVE BEEN ADDRESSED AND SHE GOD FORBID MIGHT HAVE HURT HERSELF. PLEASE LISTEN TO YOUR SON AND BE THERE FOR HIM IN EVERY AND ANY WAY POSSIBLE.I WILL KEEP YOU BOTH IN MY PRAYERS AND I WISH YOU THE BEST. I KNOW EX ACTUALLY HOW YOUR FEELING I HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS. IT IS HARD BUT IF YOU DO NOT DEAL WITH THIS NOW IT WILL GET HARDER. I WELCOME ANY AND ALL COMMUNICATIONS TO SHARE WITH YOU MY EXPERIENCE, STRENGTH AND HOPE IN DEALING WITH THIS SITUATION. GOD BLESS

Good morning Shay, My name is Sharonda, and I'm from Virginia. I have three boys and one girl. My boys ages 17, 7, and 4 months, and my only girl is 10 years old. When my first born son was just 5 years old, my husband and I was married. This was in 1997. We had our first child together when my son was 7 years old, and it was a huge adjustment for him having a step-father and later on a little sister. He did well for a little while, but he started to change his behavior. I always gave him attention and love every minute, but that is not enough for a child that was use to just you and him. He love his sister, but he is annoyed by her presence. Shay, don't make the mistake I made get him involved in something regardless if he complains about it. especially if he is good at something. He need that time to shine, and to make you proud of his accomplishment. My oldest son is an excellent artist, and can draw anything, he is good with his hands. I should have put him in something to bring that gift out, but I didn't and now he rarely use that gift. He is angry with the world at 17 years old. I don't know if that is something I was suppose to prepare for, or is it he is angry with me for not keeping it just him and I.

Shay I agree with Chanequa, the things that you have said and his behavior getting worse not better, I would say there is something more than jealously of a sibbling going on there I have 3 children and had the jealously thing going on with all of them at different points in there lives, I would definetly seek out some profession assistance. I also read Dana's comment and I am an old school mother as well , The reason that I suggest that you get some professional assistance it because my 5 year son went through something that sounds similar, he is the baby and he started having behavior issues at school, I tried whippings, punishment, nothing was working, I took him to see a male psychologist and we find out that his father was beating up and choking my son, he told my son that if he ever told he would kill me, I didn't want to tell you this to scare you but to educate you that it may not just be that but something else and he is not talkin to you so you need to find someone who he will confide in, it is not an overnight fix nor is it easy because you will not know everything that your child it telling. I am not for medication for a child unless it is absolutely necessary and with the internet you can research anything if that really does apply to your son, and if not keep looking for help because it is out there and you can find someone who will help you on your terms and not anyone elses. One last suggestion keep a journal, hope this helps you a little bit and know that I will be praying for you to get the answers that you need to help your son and yourself

Hello Shay...i have 3 boys 15,12, & 8... Now i know someone is gonna have something to say but here goes...when u take ur children to these "doctors" they wind up putting your child on all these different medications and getting in your business and passing judgement on what kind of parent u "SHOULD" b...I'm not saying that sometimes a doctor may be necessary- but what i am saying is be careful- because ppl are quick to pass judgement. I'm "ole skool"- I believe in the I am the parent and u are the child- Right now- he don't have any options- Put him on a sports team and give him something to do- watching tv all day is not an option- U have to say what u mean and mean what u say! Do u have a church home? get him involved in the church- When you can do things with the 3 of you- Do them-I'm not saying that he don't needsome time set aside for just him but i am saying - that u are the adult he has got to learn that this life just don't evolve around him- He's got a lil' sister. allow him to help with her tell him that she needs him too! Make it a point to be together as a family unit- I don't think u NEED a man- for anything- God gave u everything u need to be a great mom for him- Everything happens for a reason- Don't toss around words like "depressed" because u can speak those words into existance! He's the child and your the mom- get involved with your babies- I signed my boys up for a ymca membership- there are all sorts of things to do there and they were reasonable! we went and did things together. Don't let ppl push u into medicating your children, that's whats wrong with society today- "They tell us HOW to raise our children" then when things are out of control "THEY" blame us for not being good parents!!! pray and get your babies in church- get them involved in everything whether he wants to or not! Be Blessed and Take care!

I agree with Chanequa that this may be a cry for help or a cry for attention emotionally. He's at the age where he'll notice other kids having two parents. And with you being a single mom, he may just missing the presence of a father figure in his life. Then again, it could be an issue with something school related, Maybe he's getting teased.

Whatever it is, you should talk to the school therapist and see what they think. Also, I would try to find a male friend or relative who could mentor him and guide him into manhood. Just make sure the person is trustworthy, has good morals and is good with kids. I wish you the best in your situation.

Have you spoke to his pediatrician? If my daughter started talking about not wanting to be alive, i would call the doctor! I'm sorry you are having a hard time with him and things will get better. You have already taken the first step by asking, and you should be very concerned! My other question is does his father come and see him at all. He may feel a little left out now because he is the only boy in the house now! How about setting up a play date with another boy maybe someone from his class who he likes a little bit once or twice a week! Then on the days you split your time between the too children just hold him and let him know you love him, Dont baby him though cause things may get worst before they get better! My daughter is 10 and she used to be very hard to talk to, but when i hold her and show her alot of affection she is okay afterwards. Let me know if this helps. And stay strong mom he needs you! your doing a great job dont get discouraged okay. My heart goes out to you