A group of anti-circumcision intactivists has taken a page from the anti-choicers, and unfortunately, it’s the ‘being a public nuisance’ page. If you drove through an intersection in Tuscaloosa last weekend and were surprised to see a group of men in white clothes with their crotches painted bright red, no, you weren’t hallucinating, and no, it wasn’t a really late attempt at a weird group Halloween costume.

The intactivists, who call themselves the Bloodstained Men, are led by a man who gave himself the legal name Brother K: he says he’s cast off the name he was given at birth, because that name is irrevocably linked to the foreskin he lost some 67 years ago. Before I launch into the main song from Frozen, I have to take a moment to mourn the opportunity Brother K wasted when he chose a new name. Why not Optimus Prime? Killfuck Soulshitter? Luscious Delicious? It’s just sad, really.

Brother K (who totally could have been called Big McLargehuge, I’m just saying) got arrested over the weekend for thinking it was a good idea to parade his group around an intersection with their crotches painted bloody and waving signs with catchy slogans like “Don’t Welcome Him To Life With A Knife”. When police showed up to issue a (non-arrest) citation, Brother K decided to interfere with them, which ended with him in handcuffs, exactly as he wanted. It sounds like anti-circumcision groups like this one are on the right track to mimicking the anti-choice protesters: public spectacle, attempt to “win” the discussion by grossing people out and/or making small children cry, getting arrested so that they can proudly make overblown comparisons between themselves and Martin Luther King, Jr. or Malcolm X. It’s a good start, really – especially for a bunch of grown-ass adults who thought walking around the city with fake blood on their crotches would make them look like they had a reasonable point to make. This display mostly just makes me feel like I should be offering them a Tampax from my purse.

But I really think they could have done a lot by working out of the anti-choice playbook. Where are the gory pictures of botched circumcisions blown up and displayed on a jumbotron for all passers-by to see? Why not have some cute little rubber maimed peeners made up to shove into children’s hands as they walk by? God, yet another pointless waste of a perfectly good opportunity. They might also be able to get some tips and tricks from PETA; why stop with painting fake penis blood on yourself when you could be squirting fake penis blood on passing cars?

Look, I don’t have a lot of skin in this game, and yes, pun absolutely intended. My son was circumcised, but it was a close call, and I see a lot of good points on both sides of the issue (especially the ‘don’t circumcise a three-year-old’ side). I have never yet been involved in a reasonable discussion that started with faux-blood-spattered crotches being waved around.