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I am luck enough to find this website which I can get some help. Thanks all for the great work!

Sorry about my ugly English as I am not a native English speaker. Hopefully you guys understand what I am talking about. Please feel free to ask questions if you need some clarification.

Here is the situation:

My wife is pregnant and the baby is due at end of Oct. I made a biggest mistake in my like that I had unprotected insertive oral sex and protected vaginal sex with a sex work at Aug. 1 in a biz trip. I deeply kissed my wife the next day after I backed home. One week later (7 days) my wife developed flu like symptoms headache, snuffling, nausea, muscle ache and feeling tired. All gone after 5 days. Started from week 2 (Aug. 15) both of us had bad mouth ulcer. I had two swollen lymph nodes under my jaw. Around week 4 (Aug 28), I started to have muscle ache, the ache moved from my arms to legs and to my neck and joints. I only lasted about 10 seconds in one place and moved on. During this period of time, I had sore throat, one day I even waked up by the sore throat. I also felt tired. The symptoms went away after one and half weeks. This freaked me out as I know the HIV symptoms all comes and goes all at once. This is exactly what I have. Yesterday I felt better physically but my mind just thinking about I may just get HIV from my one stupid action.

I am going to take a six week HIV test tomorrow but I am so sure I will get a positive result based on what I feel and the symptoms I have.

One thing I could not accept and will shoot myself dead is I could have transmitted HIV to my wife and my baby by KISSING.

I know a 12/13 weeks test has to be done to be conclusive but I need allow sometime to treat my wife if she got infected to prevent from infecting my baby.

Could someone here give me some suggestions what should I do now? Please.....

My wife is pregnant and the baby is due at end of Oct. I made a biggest mistake in my like that I had unprotected insertive oral sex and protected vaginal sex with a sex work at Aug. 1 in a biz trip. I deeply kissed my wife the next day after I backed home.

Blue,

You cannot catch HIV from having someone perform oral sex on you. Since you had protected vaginal sex you don't have to worry about HIV from that either. Your wife and unborn child are not at risk of catching HIV from you. You don't have HIV and anyway HIV is not transmitted through kissing.

Please read our Welcome Thread to learn how HIV is and is not transmitted.

It's very good that you are having a six week test tomorrow. Not because you were at risk for HIV, because you weren't. Condoms provide very effective protection against HIV and there's never been a documented case of transmission via kissing or getting a blow job. You aren't going to make history by becoming the first.

Of course I expect you to test negative despite all your fears and symptoms and your wife's symptoms and etc. etc.

This is all about guilt. You need to stop torturing yourself about this incident. You're a dog like the rest of us and you went straying. You can't undo that. So take a good deep breath and let it go. Guilt is poisonous in a relationship so the best thing you can do for all concerned is just get on with your life.

By the way, the average time to seroconversion is 22 days. All but the smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will do so within 4-6 weeks after an exposure. So when you collect the inevitable negative result at 6 weeks you have the next best thing to a gold seal. Given your current state of mind about this your mind may continue working overtime with nonsense about being infected. In which case re-test at 13 weeks and collect another negative result.

Thanks Matty for the reply. I indeed read the welcome thread and understand oral sex has none or negligible risk for HIV. But I just could not understand the reason of my symptoms and it perfectly matches the time. I know anxiety or worry could cause it but how come it just went away while I am still worrying...

BTW, I just want to add that I also felt pain under my arms and behind my ear.

Another thing I want to mention is that I am going to level to my wife about this issue as soon as I get my six week test result. My wife told me I was wild these days to exam her whole body ten times a day...

Obviously it is your decision to make. Remember, disclosing is something you can't unsay later.

Think for a moment if you are doing it just to indulge yourself dump the feelings you are uncomfortable with OR if it is really with the intention of strenthening your marriage AND you are prepared to live with whatever the consequences.

Thanks Andy for the comments. I will think again carefully before doing this...

I agree with you and I push hard to believe guilty and anxiety could be the reason of my symptoms. I just regret very very much for doing this stupid thing and put myself and family on this kind of risk. Those symptoms just freaked me out. I keep counting days to have my six week test done. I guess only the negative result could release my mind. I am hoping I could have those muscle ache again but it just wont happen...

In this forum, everyone says that receiving blowjob is not a risk for HIV, but I called several clinic and I was told "low risk, but not non risk. Come get tested..."

I just regret very very much for doing this stupid thing and put myself and family on this kind of risk.

Blue,

You can call your actions stupid if you want, but I'm not going to let you call them a risk of hiv infection. Nothing you did put you at risk of infection. Stress out and test all you like, but that isn't going to change transmission facts.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

1. Do you think my wife need to take the HIV test? We only have deep kiss after my explosure.

2. Could anxiety/worry cause the symptoms I had (such as sore throat, tringle or ache in legs/arms/feet/behind ear, mouth ulcer)? I am kind belive this as I recall that the ache feel like come from the nerves but not from the muscle.

3. Finally I just want to reconfirm that I do NOT have HIV risk for unprotected oral sex and protected vaginal sex. right?

I waked up in the 2:50AM and worrying about my situation. Just today I realized what is the geographic tongue. I check my tongue and it start to have some red sore on it few weeks back. I am scared. I am not come here to cause problems. Just feel longly, no hope. Can anyone tell me that could geographic tongue happens on none HIV infection person please....

2. Muscle ache/tingling around the body (arms, legs, feet, shouder, lower back, hip, chest and back of my ears) It's moving from one place to another. Not happening all day. It just last few seconds here and there.

3. 3 red flat unitchy rash. On at the waist and two in the groin area. It similar to the eczema I had before and went away in 2 days after medicine.

4. Two swell lymph under my jaw. Pain when I touch them.

5. stiff arms and legs for 2 days.

6. Possible geographic tongue or strep throat (I'll have my dentist to check it out next Monday). It was breakout at first day week7. I think it could contributed by the stress after reading the false positive alarm from the Lovelife guy in this forum. I still see the rash on the tongue. And feel something in my throat.

Symptoms 1-3 has gone since week 6 and never come back.

Also I have two specific question to ask:

1. If ARS rash start, should we see a few of them or 2-3 rash will still be concerned?

2. Based on your experience, do you think my symtoms are a sign of ARS or seroconversion?

3. Is keratode skin a symptom for HIV/AIDS? The sex worker I meet has keratode skin allover her body. She told me it could because she took too many showers everyday.

I do understand that you only do risk assesment in this website. But please provide your opinion. I have a special situation here, my wife is going to deliver the baby by end of Oct. I am hesitate to take the 6 weeks result when it's available in the next two weeks. I plan to pick it up after by baby was born. As I dont want to crash before that and impact my wife/baby.

Again, my sex explosure is insertive unprotected oral and protected vaginal intercourse and then a very brife insertive unprotected oral.

This is the only sex explosure I have this year since my wife's preganency at Jan.

I understand I was told "Symptoms mean nothing when it comes to diagnosing HIV." Just could not understand what else could cause the symptoms I had and what a coincident if it is somether other than HIV.

So can you say I have ZERO risk in term of HIV infection for the sex explosure I descripted?

I decided not to pick up my six weeks result as I know I will crash if I got a "+". I could not give me a reason for all the symptoms in week 5. My wife and the unborn baby need me at this special period of time. I will check it out two month later.

I must be REALLY unlucky as this is the only sex I have since wife preganent.

Thank you Rod and all the people reply to my thread. I know you guys must lose patient on me by keeping telling me the same thing (I did not have a risk by receving a blowjob and pretected vaginal sex). and I am keep acting nuts.

I read your reply everyday many times and it will ease my mind for a while. and then when I get into bed I start worry about my symptoms. The dam symptoms!

I guess I will have to get some mental health help.

Sorry I have been so bothersome and thanks very much everyone to be so helpful.

In case on day I pick a negative report. I will come back screaming" SYMPTOMS MEAN NOTHING HEN IT COMES TO DIAGNOSING HIV!!!"

Just back from the dentist office. The Dr. checked my tongue and said the bumps are just taste buds. It is not a viral infection. She also said there is no big deal for my mouth ulcer. I can not believe this, I never notice those taste buds before last week and I have mouth ulcer for about a month now and she said she does not see a problem.

Can anyone tell me I am just overreacting for the NONE HIV risk sex exploser?

Thanks Rod. I guess just because I am under too much stress in the last few weeks. I just hardly change the way I am thinking. Although you guys tell me all the time "no risk", I am still thinking about the what if I get HIV, and what about my wife and the unborn baby.... Last night, I just waked up by a nightmare about both I and my wife got a positive result. Very scary!!!! I have to take sleepaid medicine in the past 7 days.

BTW, I just back from my family doc. The mouth swap I did last week shows I do not have strep infection. Do not know if this is a good news or what. Another doc. checked my mouth again and said I may have mono?? or m..sth infection (did not catch what is that). They gave me Zithromax (6 tabs). for the infection. Anyone know what is this for?

Thank you everyone to be so supportive during the hardest time in my life!!!

It must be mononucleosis infection. Start to worry as I know ARS symptoms is just like mononucleosis infection. I guess the diffrence is ARS will go away in 2-3 weeks. But mononucleosis will stay longer if not treated, right? The lymph nodes under my jaw has been there for about 6 weeks now. Sometimes pain sometimes not. Sometimes become hard to feel..

I hope I just get a mono infection that simple, this will explain the swell nodes.

After reading the encouraging words in the thread ten times, I went to the clinic hoping for a negative result. But, I was told the mail was delayed and I have to come back next week. Again!!! Panic start...

I developed a bad cough last night. I guess it was caused by the dose I took before went to bed.

Today is the first day of week 8 of my exploser. Is there anything I need to worry about the cough?

If you can afford having the internet then you can afford to go to the doctor. Quit playing doctor on yourself. You didn't have a risk for HIV and now you're wanting to play a guessing game. It's time to stop.

I leveled with my wife today as I could not cope the fear of being infected any more.

My wife was surprisingly calm and supportive. She said I should have told her long time ago and urged me to stop surfing internet and checking my swollen lymph nodes. Actually she has already suspected something happened to me as I have been so wired these days. We have not decide the name for our unborn baby yet... She told me she will go with me to take the test result whenever I am ready.

We went to see a Dr. and took a HIV test for her just to be on the safe side. Although the Dr. almost refused to do the test.

I think the chance I get infected by my low to no risk exposure is similar this win the highest lottery in on ticket. I bought one today and I've never been so happy that I did not win anything.

I showed my wife this forum and all your reply regarding my issue. She is now sitting beside me and would like to take this chance to say Thank you Andy, Thank you Ann, Thank you Mtd and Thank you RapidRod for being so supportive during my hardest time in my life!

We decide to donate some money to the local AIDS organization and will do volunteer there if possible.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Luck? What do you need luck for? You didn't have a risk of infection. I'd say you've already got plenty of luck - you're lucky to have such an understanding wife and lucky to have a healthy family. Go count and enjoy your blessings and stop fretting about this no risk encounter before your wife loses patience with you.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I understand that a positive need to be confirmed by western blot test. But it looks like western blot is only for HIV 1 but not for HIV 2. So is it possible I transfer the HIV 2 to my wife by kissing?Don't know how reilable my 6 weeks negative result.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts