All moms are "working moms," I just happen to be salaried.

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It’s me, Ellen. Thanks for clicking on my blog and checking me out. As you may have noticed, this is my virgin “I will have my cake” post. I’ve blogged before. Rather, a certain fetus, formerly by the name of “bean,” now commonly referred to as “Liron,” “Munia,” “Rosie Cheek-o-vich,” etc, used to blog from the womb. That’s right, in babygiller.blogspot.com I blogged for Liron – sharing places we went, things we bought, a certain president we voted for – all before she left the amniotic sac, or rather was evicted. Now Liron is in the world and I, as her mom, have taken over her blog. In addition to the babygiller blog, now private, I’ve decided to branch out with this blog, so I could talk more about “me” stuff.

Now I’m not going to apologize for using technology for my own self-centered purposes. So many people start their blogs with an apology. If you hate my blog, I understand. You probably won’t return (sniff). If you love it, or just get bored on occasion and need a diversion, stop by for a visit! Nope, no apology. Blogging is what people do. People who move to cool places, people who parent, people with hobbies, people without paying jobs. And now me. I am a gal with a family, an MS that I’ll be paying off until I’m 70 years old, and someone who is in desperate need of some work/life balance. Hence, the name of my blog “I will have my cake, and eat it too.” I will. I will.

Now tell me, have you read Anne-Marie Slaughter’s July/August 2012 piece from The Atlantic? I’m sure you’ve at least heard of it? Perhaps saw her on the news? It is called Why Women Still Can’t Have it All. Click here to read it. It’s so important I linked it for you. You’re welcome. Let me give you a super-brief synopsis. I have a low attention span too. Well-educated, high-powered woman >> Powerful, impactful employment positions >> husband >> two kids >> no work/life balance >> left her job >> told it like it is >> suggested changes to move us in the right direction. Women have so much to contribute to the working world, and we should be able to do this while being great moms who are there and available when our kids need us. It shouldn’t have to be one or the other. Additionally, a working mother shouldn’t have to rely on the dad to be the primary parent to support her. Working and parenting shouldn’t be a “one or the other” proposition. Two-income families are a reality, and you know what? Some people derive true reward from what they do.

This article came out at a really important time in my life. I left a job two months ago that really had me stressed; long working hours, and very little time to reflect on evaluations my daughter was going through for developmental issues where speech therapy and occupational therapy at the Boston Public Schools were ultimately recommended. I couldn’t give 150% of my time and energy to a project when I needed to really understand what was going on at home and how I could be as informed as possible in order to make the best decisions. And now I am confident we have done our best and we have made the right decisions.

But where does this leave me? Well, I’m not sure. I’m ready for my next chapter. I know what I want. I want to keep being a great mom. I want to be a great wife and friend to my husband, and a great friend to my friends. I want to be successful at what I do, with reference to paid employment, without crazy hours, stress overload, or too much travel. I really want to like the people I spend my working hours with. I want to learn from them, teach them, and maybe make another friend or two. Additionally, I want to have time to make a nice dinner, even if it’s prepared the night before. I want the time to take a nice vacation. I want to go to the gym every now and then.

I just can’t kick the feeling in that I can only get this if I move to Scandinavia. Must I? And what do I tell my daughter when she gets older? What advice do I give her to gain good balance in life? I don’t know where to begin because I haven’t found it myself. Suggestions welcome.

Thanks for visiting.
E

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One thought on “Welcome friends.”

I don’t have kids yet, but I’m finishing my MA (which I will also be paying off till I retire) and I’m trying to figure out how to have a job which satiates my passions but leaves time for living a life outside of work that makes me happy also. This is a common struggle. I can’t wait to navigate it with you.