School for smart kids who don't pretend that they are macho dick-shit. Usually comfortable in their own skin. Typically not concerned with what gonzaga, georgetown prep, or WASPY private schools think. Socially conscious, sensitive, solid group of guys taught by eccentric monks.

The most chill, genuine, academically-focused, classy, and tolerant school in the D.C. metro area. Too classy to be callin' out other all-boys schools using urbandictionary. Unlike most private D.C. MD and VA schools, Abbey Boys have no reason to pretend they are "gangsta" because they are "gangsta." It's NE. Not Potomac or NW. The fact that St. Anselm's has a "rep" at all is phenomenal considering that there are only about 130 students in the high school. About half are intelligent and reserved, whereas the other students are intelligent, social, and party animals. All are good to the ladies (in more ways than one) and eventually get into the college of their choice. Although some tend to be socially and sexually inactive/awkward in high school, come college, all Abbey Alumni blossom into sex gods. They will marry your high school girlfriend and be your boss in fifteen years. You'll see...

Abbey Boy: Hey babe, you wanna dance?
NCS girl: Where do you go to school?
Abbey Boy: St. Anselm's.
NCS girl: Oh.
Abbey Boy: No no no no. Not St. Alban's. St. Anselm's.
NCS girl: Fuck me. Now.

A small boy's school in NE DC known for its rigorous academics. Conducted by Benedictine monks, the boys are taught at a very young age to be afraid of the opposite sex and to study until their brains explode. Girls are not intimidated by their intelligence, but rather astonished at their failed attempts to socialize. Social skills do not come to "Abbey Boys" until the later years when they learn to not care. Then Kairos changes everything and it's all good once again. There will always be at least one girl from any given girls school who is unhappy with at least one Abbey Boy and at least one girl from the same school who is very happy with at least one Abbey Boy. Sports are not the Abbey Boy's forté, but they give it an honest effort every once in a while.

Catholic Schoolgirl: I went down to st anselm's and found a really cool guy!

Catholic Schoolgirl's BFFAEAEAE: Oh yeah well I hate his classmates. They said they were too good for me.