I know that’s supposed to be a clever attempt to spin the “hell, no, we ain’t paying the players!” position, but if this is the best Jim Delany’s got, I’d sure love to know what his SAT score was, because as analogies go, that’s incoherent.

An NCAA audit report of bowl games released last week shows that every Football Bowl Subdivision conference received more money from 2012-13 bowl payouts than their schools paid on bowl expenses.

The 35 bowls distributed $300.8 million last year to conferences, who negotiate deals on behalf of their teams, and schools reported spending $90.3 million on bowl trips. According to the NCAA report, bowls received $445.6 million in gross receipts and spent 26 percent of it on operating expenses. Bowls retained 7 percent of the receipts.

“The perception is out there that schools are losing money going to bowl games and the reality is that’s not true,” said Wright Waters, executive director of the Football Bowls Association. “Bowls strike deals with conferences, and there very well may be issues that conferences are not giving them a big enough allowance to go to the bowl. But at the end of the day, the conferences are still distributing money at the end of the year.”

In case you’re wondering, “every” conference includes each one of the mid-majors.

So much for the screaming about how the bowls were scamming the conferences to the point of making them run their postseasons in the red. But at least they got those pesky ticket allotment requirements lowered. That’s good news, right? Well, maybe not so much.

However, Waters raised concerns about lower guaranteed ticket allotments, particularly for games not associated with the College Football Playoff. There will be six high-profile bowls next year, not four, once the playoff starts: Rose, Orange, Sugar, Fiesta, Cotton and Chick-fil-A.

Lower guaranteed ticket allotments “will probably create some problems with teams who travel well and who may not get tickets,” Waters said. “Fans will have to pay scalper prices. Bowls will probably try to sell their tickets locally.”

Some days it seems like the only constant in college football is hoovering more money out of fans’ wallets… okay, every day.

Roy Kramer has not come to bury the BCS, but to praise it. And you know what? It’s hard to argue with what he has to say about it.

Plus, you have to chuckle at this back-handed epitaph:

Florida State and Auburn were the clear-cut choices to play in this season’s BCS title finale after Ohio State got upset last Saturday in the Big Ten championship game. A four-team playoff will debut next season, which would have been very difficult to determine had it arrived a year early.

Alabama, the SEC West runner-up to Auburn, is third in the polls, and a fourth team would have been selected among Big Ten champion Michigan State, Big 12 champion Baylor and Pac-12 champion Stanford.

“You talk about controversy,” Kramer said. “You tell me who that fourth team is. I’m not going to have to worry about that one.”

I don’t know about you, but I’m looking forward to the interview with whomever says the last rites over the eight-team playoff.

When the dust settles, I’m highly doubtful Saban leaves Tuscaloosa. But I’m pretty damned sure he winds up as the highest paid football coach in the land. And notice I didn’t say college football coach.

Quote Of The Day

“It brings back a great Bulldog running back in Thomas who has NFL playing experience and has had success as a college coach at multiple schools. He also inherits a position that has been built to an elite level by Bryan. And it gives Bryan the opportunity to return to coaching the position he played and the one where he cut his teeth serving as a graduate assistant under wide receiver coach John Eason here at UGA. It also provides him with a new experience as a passing game coordinator.” -- Mark Richt, AB-H, 2/16/15