Welcome to Bottles of Djinn, the Web’s #1 source for entertaining, inspirational, and generally useful information, all specifically designed to support the supernatural world’s endless war against mundane reality. Like it or not, the Djinn, former undisputed masters of this world, are reawakening all across the globe. Welcome to the beginning of the end of the world as you know it…

To those few who've even heard of "Candida" it's often misunderstood as some form of extremely inconvenient food allergy, one which robs those afflicted by it of the ability to enjoy "the good things" in life, from pizza and apple pie, to cake, candy, cereal and soda pop, all the way down to beer and booze and buttered bread; basically, all those high carb, high sugar, comfort foods which most Americans have irresponsibly made into their daily staples. The actual truth, however, is far stranger, and far more terrifying, than you can probably imagine.

Let's begin with a seemingly unrelated news story, one which briefly grabbed international headlines earlier this year when a major Iranian news agency reported that among the top secret files leaked by whistle blowing hactivist Edward Snowden were some Russian Intelligence documents which claim to have uncovered incontrovertible evidence that the United States, since about the end of WWII, had fallen under the control of extraterrestrials. These alleged documents refer to these aliens only as "the Tall Whites." Remember this name, because it will become important later.

This particular "Tall Tale" made very little impact here in the States, beyond some conjecture that this was most likely Russian propaganda designed to turn international opinion even further against us. The Iranian story went on to claim that these Tall Whites where behind the Nazi Occupation of Germany, and that they officially moved their plans for world domination to the U.S. in 1954 when President Dwight D. Eisenhower foolishly made a deal with them in order to gain their assistance in fighting the Cold War. It's interesting that this is all alleged to have happened less than ten years after we now know that America had made a very similar deal with hundreds of Nazi scientists and intelligence agents as part of an Office of Strategic Services Black Op known as Operation Paperclip. Another interesting fact is that Eisenhower's collusion with the Tall Whites occurred just one year before he suffered a highly publicized heart attack, one which set off a chain of events that radically shifted the diets of all Americans, even to this very day. Of course, before the significance of any of these seemingly disparate facts can be made clear, I must first explain to you what Candida actually is, so, please, take a deep breath; This might get a little bit disturbing.

Candida, in it's non-parasitic form, is a dimorphic symbiotic yeast, a type of fungus, that has successfully colonized the digestive tracts of every human being on the planet. Its natural unicellular form is unobtrusive and egg like, moderately breeding, while feeding on excess sugar, in our stomachs and small intestines. In this form, however, Candida is easily fed on in turn by the many other probiotic denizens of our digestive tract, keeping the population, and its impact on our bodies, well under control.

However, when it's carelessly glutted on an over abundance of sweets, Candida quickly transforms into its far larger mycelial fungal form, eventually branching out from the stomach and intestines in a sprawling mass of nerve-like tendrils. These serve simultaneously as an externalized stomach and, as many mycologists now believe, an externalized nervous system as well, introducing a chemically manipulative form of co-intelligence into the human body the likes of which we're only beginning to really comprehend. Once its mycelial form has pushed through the lining of our stomachs and intestines, it enters the bloodstream where it can be carried to every organ in the body, including the brain. In fact, recent studies have shown that Candida's worm like mycelium are even able to cross the blood brain barrier.

In the disturbing words of science journalist Ed Yong, “Orwellian dystopias, shadowy cabals, and mind-controlling supervillains—these are tropes that fill our darkest fiction. But in nature, they happen all the time.” Of course he's talking about the mind control that we observe being inflicted upon so many “lesser” animals in nature, such as the thousands of species of parasitic cordyceps fungi that make literal zombies out of things like ants, crabs, spiders, grasshoppers, crickets, etc. (The good news is that there's currently no known species of cordyceps that does this to mammals, much less humans; the bad news is that scientists estimate that we've only identified about 8% of the kinds of fungus that exist on our planet). Yong is also talking about the emerald cockroach wasp, which jacks itself directly into the brains of cockroaches in order to make them docile enough to pilot home to its nest, where they can be filled with its eggs. Then there's the argyraphaga wasp, the larva of which can actually reprogram the brain of the unfortunate orb spider that it's mother had briefly paralyzed and laid an egg on. This mind-controlled spider, baby wasp larva now clinging to its belly, will suddenly build a new web that's more conducive to the massive cocoon that this young wasp plans to build later, that is, after the baby wasp has finally drained this obliging spider of its last drop of blood. It's a torturous process of mental enslavement that stretches on for weeks, the spider completely unable to resist, and perhaps even completely unaware that it's being controlled and drained, the entire time. Finally, Yong is most certainly talking about the the protozoa Toxoplasmosis, which exerts very specific and purposeful influence over the behaviors of rodents, cats, and even, some scientists now claim, humans as well; As many of 55% of us in fact, but that's not the mind-control I'm currently most concerned about.

Remember when the Russians said America was being controlled by the Tall Whites? Strangely enough, “Tall Whites,” when translated into Latin, is “Candida Alta.” Now, remember that heart attack that Eisenhower suffered back in '55? Well, this massive seven week long media event was directly responsible for kicking off our country's low-fat health food craze. While American's were still reeling from their newly minted fear of heart attacks, a scientific government study was released directly linking heart disease to the fat content of our foods, and the public quickly scrambled for any low-fat food products it could get its hands on. It was at this pivotal moment in history that our food industry began to dump massive amounts of refined sugar into artificially fat-depleted foods in order to make them actually palatable. In the years that followed, U.S. food producers would go on to develop things like high fructose corn syrup, as well as a host of artificial sweeteners, such as stevia, aspartame, sucralose, neotame, acesulfame potassium, and saccharin, all to meet this ongoing consumer demand for fat-free food; Without these changes, the explosive growth of the Candida parasite, which now infects up to 70% of America, would have never been possible.

Ufologists have debated for years whether the almost dreamlike experiences of alien abductees are physical in nature or are they, perhaps, a purely psychic phenomenon, but what if it's both, except that the physical component is not at all what we were expecting? Many researchers have posited that these aliens are extraterrestrial, interdimensional, or supernatural, but what if they are, in fact, subcutaneous? There's just one last important issue I'd like to address here.

According to U.F.O. researcher Dr. Karla Turner, “kidney problems, back problems, headache problems, nausea, unexplained rashes, hair loss, eye damage, and extremely bad gynecological problems are the common result, in many cases, of the abduction scenario.” She also notes a statistically higher than normal occurrence of cancers, often in people with no genetic predisposition for such, and the sudden onset of depression, alcoholism, as well as many other, medically anomalous, health problems. These are all issues that have also become associated with an overgrowth of Candida. An abductee herself, Dr. Turner's sudden death from cancer is still believed by many to have been induced by some agency that wanted to shut her up, but what if it's something much simpler, and much more direct, than all that?

Oncologist Dr. Tullio Simoncini believes that the common presence of Candida within cancer tumors found all over the body is not merely indicative of the fungi's “opportunistic” nature, as most oncologists have always assumed, but rather that the rampant growth of this fungus is directly responsible for the upsurge in cancer rates we're experiencing today. Instead of radiation, Dr. Simoncini has been successfully treating all types of cancer with sodium bicarbinate, a potent anti-fungal. Unlike most other lifeforms on this planet, many fungus exhibit a rather extreme resistance to both UV light and radiation. In fact, they respond to radiation just like most other living creatures do to sunlight, i.e. it nourishes them.

This also explains why the space station Mir had such unexpected issues with space fungus growing on the outside of the station and covering over the window hatches. Yes, fungus can and do survive even in the icy vacuum of space. It thrives there actually.

I found a lot of other relevant information on this topic during my last few weeks of research, more than I want to overwhelm you with here. I know this is all rather strange already, so I've tried my best to keep this succinct, without going off on too many tangents, or spiraling out into levels of scientific minutia or conspiratorial speculation that might all too easily overwhelm or alienate some readers. I do encourage you, though, to do your own research, armed with some of the ideas I've posited here, so that you can best draw your own conclusions about what you think is, or is not, possible based upon all of the available information.

The weirdest thing is that in the last few months, as I've been increasing my activity levels, I've been naturally gravitating towards many seemingly random dietary changes, which I now see all bear a striking resemblance to the Candida cleanses that I've only recently found online (Things like lemon juice, coconut oil, raw garlic, kefir, yogurt, a far more strict adherence to vegetarianism and a complete lack of appetite for sweets of all types). As is often the case, much of the information I found for this essay seemed to come to me quite suddenly and, initially at least, without my seeking it out. You don't have to agree with the connections between these things that I've made here, but I do hope that at least something you've learned here will help you to become happier and stronger and more able to help others to do the same. Good Luck and Namaste.

Simon Zealot is a recovering super villain now trying to help all of those insignificant common people he once sought to enslave and/or annihilate. He's the author of three books, The Shadow Society Guidebook, The Malakimae Manual and The Hermetic Grimoire of the Neo-Templar Order. He is also a special investigator, a martial arts instructor, an astrologer, a hypnotist, a fire performer, an escape artist, a world class mentalist, and, of course, one of the once conquered, but now returning, Djinn.