#Germanwings

Image Credit: theguardian.com

I hadn't seen the news when I first saw this hashtag. I thought it was going to be a load of tweets about the first time anyone had shagged a German. You know, like getting your brown wings. I was half way through a tweet about the time Jary went down on Claudia, the German exchange student from the school he used to work at, before I realised it was about a tragic plane crash. Needless to say I deleted the tweet and wrote a new one about the time Jary got his brown wings on a plane with a stewardess.

#ClarkeCarlisle

Image Credit: theguardian.com

The thing about this one is this. The bloke is obviously troubled. He obviously has some serious mental health issues that he needs a lot of help with. It is a serious problem and it's not something to joke about. He is also a fucking twat. He's not a twat because he feels he has no way out other than suicide. He's a twat because he dealt with these problems by drink driving and trying to jump in front of a lorry. Two things that can have massive implications for people other than himself. It genuinely pisses me off to see him smiling on the television talking about the love he has been shown, all the while that lorry driver has to go to sleep at night, knowing he ran a man over. It doesn't matter that it wasn't the lorry drivers fault, it matters that he had to see it happen at all. And for that reason, Clarke Carlisle deserves nothing from anyone. Being depressed should be taken seriously, but it's no excuse to be such a fucking selfish cunt.

#ByeZayn / #ZaynMalikAlwaysInOurHearts

Image Credit: guardianlv.com

Just when you think the world was starting to regain some semblance of normality, this fucking shit happens. Right, so apparently, one of the hairless man-children from your One Direction nonsense decided to jump ship from the band. So, the internet does the logical thing and flips the fuck out about it. Twitter and Tumblr go very similarly mental. Some people even tried to claim compassionate leave because some dickhead left a band. Are you fucking for real? Our good friend Jary struck up a rousing conversation with one of these f̶u̶c̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶n̶u̶t̶t̶e̶r̶s̶ people. Here’s what I don’t get: As Jary pointed out in those tweets, there are more troubling things right now to be concerned with. But what is this shit about a boyband saving people? Already I sense you eager to jump down my throat about how a song can speak to you. Y’know what, I get that, and there are plenty of songs out there made with the intention to reach out and offer help or a consoling message. But in this case, that excuse doesn’t fly. These manufactured boy-puppets literally produce records intentionally designed to appeal to a certain demographic (Read as: mentally unhinged young-to-teen girls) for the sole purpose of, you guessed it, making money. No member of One Direction has ever intentionally, directly or indirectly ‘saved’ you. They probably have fun with what they’re doing and if they gave some people something to occupy their time about, fair enough. But in the Simon Cowell music money machine, emotion doesn’t even factor into it. If you are so jaded as to think any of these kids, with an audience literally in the hundreds of millions, gives a solitary shit about one specific person in their audience, then you’ve bought into the lie that this industry is all too happy to have you believe. The music industry is fucking toxic at the moment, and creating unnecessary drama and obsession through their product, just to pry the coin out of your hands. Oh, and some girls also cut themselves, like any sane person would in their given situation. Fuck this Earth.

#Deadpool #OfficialSuit

Image Credit: twitter.com/VancityReynolds

Back in 2009, X-Men Origins: Wolverine ruined fan favourite character Deadpool, killing off all studio interest in the character after the fan backlash. But Ryan Reynolds, who played Wade Wilson in the failed movie, was not going to give up hope on this excellent character. After a long and drawn out process to convince studios to green light a Deadpool movie that played more traditionally to the character that fans know and love from the Marvel comic books, it was the internet’s collective reaction to a leaked test reel that finally gave 20th Century Fox the incentive they needed to go all guns blazing on a bonafide comic-faithful Deadpool movie. Principal photography began on Monday 23rd and on Friday 27th, Ryan Reynolds himself revealed this picture of the suit that will be used in the movie. There have been good superhero costumes and there have been bad ones, but you’d be hard pressed to find one that has been ripped from the pages as well as this one has. That isn’t a film version of Deadpool, that IS Deadpool. There’s more character and emotion in this one still image than there was in the entire 107 minute runtime of Origins: Wolverine (Which admittedly isn’t saying much). Fans have been anxious for information surrounding the long overdue superhero adaptation, and so far, it seems as if we’re in very safe hands. If the production team aren’t compromising when it comes to the look of the character, I really hope they don’t compromise when it comes to the action and story either. February 16th 2016 can’t come quick enough.

#Wrestlemania

Image Credit: wwe.com

With Wrestlemania 31 coming up this weekend, it made me remember how much I used to love wrestling (and still kinda do, although nowhere near as much). I scoured the depths of my memory bank to remember my three favourite Wrestlemania moments:Undertaker hangs Big Boss Man from the Hell in a Cell – this was everything about the Attitude era that I loved. Corporation vs Ministry of Darkness. Perfect theatrics all round. It was one of those moments which made my 12 year old self thinking ‘maybe it’s all real after all?’The first ever TLC match – The Hardy Boys, Dudley Boyz and Edge and Christian square off in one of the greatest matches in WWE history (one of the actual greatest matches, not your usual weekly Michael Cole ‘greatest match in WWE history’. And no one will forget Bubba Ray Dudley’s fall from ‘the big ladder’ through four tables. Austin, Rock and Hogan do some improvised mic work. If it wasn’t for Hogan botching the name of the stadium, this segment wouldn’t be half as funny. Luckily, when you have the two best mic workers in wrestling history in the ring with you, you’re in safe hands. If you want me to open up a can of whoop ass on Hulk Hogan, give me a hell yeah.

#CODChamps2015

Image Credit: community.callofduty.com

I always thought that playing games for a living was bullshit. I should know. I used to do it. I used to play a popular online MMO for a living in my younger years. It involved playing the game until around 5am, sleeping until 8ish, then starting again at 9am. Rinse and repeat. At the time I thought it was the coolest thing in the world, especially when I had the equivalent income of a part time job deposited into my bank account every month. I was at a festival once, talking to a fellow gamer about my beloved online avatar, when he told me that one day I would realise the whole thing is pointless and it’s a waste of my time. 8 years later, I realise he was right.

Joe is one of the many writers we have at Foul Entertainment, known for Plenty Of Catfish. He is a main stay on the voice cast for Disagreevances. He's also responsible for the artistic design in our games