Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Widaa'ul Akhir

Today marks a month since my dearly beloved brother, Mu'adz Azhar left us, forever. Truly, what we went through was a very painful experience. It was very difficult for us, but for Ummi the most as it wasn't easy for her to lose her one and only beloved mother followed by her dearest son within just 2 months. But Alhamdulillah, Allah gave us the internal strength to endure through this very hard period of time and helped us through with less difficulties.

Frankly, all the SMSs, calls and visits we received throughout the whole period since Mu'adz was first admitted on the 4th of April till the very last day, and up until now really helped us a lot in gaining the strength we needed. The countless support we received from family and friends from all over the globe MasyaAllah was really unexpected. Had it not been for this, i could never imagine how worse it would have been.

We do realize that this was a test from Allah, although it was a very tough one, to test our iman and belief in Him. Alhamdulillah, we got through, or insyaAllah hopefully we did get through. From Him we come and to Him we return. We are very much thankful and content to what had happened and may it be a source of restrengthening back our iman, faith and belief towards Him and may He grant us with the best of 'Ajr'.

I would like to express my best gratitude to everyone who threw in their support, directly or indirectly as well as for the du'aas and supplications that everyone had offered for Mu'adz and for us. May this experience leave a very thoughtful lesson for all of us who are still waiting for our turn. Wallahu A'lam

Attached below is a mass Thank You note e-mail from my parents to everyone who offered their support. May Allah bless you all...

dear friends, brothers & sisterssalam & greetings all

its been 4 weeks since our dear son mu’adz, departed from usnever got round to thank everyone for all their help and support1st week was sorting out JPN paper works, school matters, bankaccounts and flying back to dohathe ensuing week was catching up on 3-weeks’ piled-up workthen back to KL to examine at HUKM’s post-grad medical exam; a very hectic weekthen back to doha; work matters, H1N1 and all the rest of it just keptme really occupied

anyway, I won’t miss this weekend chance to write back to everyone in the loopto express our sincere gratitude; mine, lina’s and the kids’for all the great help and support we received in the past 6 weeks

it was truly a painful experience for us, a very2 difficult time indeedbut now we cherish the real meaning of brother & sisterhoodand true friends when it comes to needsthe phone calls, sms’es, e-mails, visits, words of advice and encouragementand various other support measures from many corners of the globethat came in left, right and center, many a times unexpectedlyplus the silent duas and prayers, from near and farmany said they did very little, hardly if anyonly if they realized how much those little ‘trivial’ effortsreally did ease our pain and burdenand never did we anticipate our matters were going to go so smoothly

the experience has taught us many lessons and given us greater insightsand made us more appreciative of issues in life that we used to takefor granted all these whileabout death that’s surely to come to each and everyone of us(yes, despite me having regular encounters at my workplace!)the divine ‘loan’ that will surely end somedayand in our case, 16.5 years felt very short-livedand the worthiness of eternal life far surpassing this worldly onethe tribulations that our creator inflicts on usas a means of testing faith, patience, hope and gratitudeand hopefully as expiation of sins and elevation in eternal ranks too

the experience also gave us many great opportunitiesthe 2 weeks in icu helped to mentally and psychologically prepare usfor HIS final decreeand strengthened our family bonding, bringing us even much closer to each otherdespite being unconscious and under the life-support machines and medicationsyet he was still shedding tears when we spoke, read duas, Ma’thuratand the Quran to himaccompanying allahyarham back home, alone in the back of the hearsethe night he passed awayallowed me to self-introspect (muhasabah diri) reflecting over the pastand renew my covenant (bai’ah) and true repentance (taubah nasuhah) tothe creatorand subhanallah I felt as though his soul was bearing testimony to mysilent declarationsmay these be fulfilled and everlasting

the crowd that was awaiting at our little home that nightand the big congregation that prayed at the surau and accompanied usat the funeral the next daywere just simply amazing, and made us more thankfulnever did we anticipate hearing from, and meeting so many long-lost colleaguesthe 30-odd years post-mrsm that kept us apart quickly became history(and admittedly, some names, and faces too, were just so difficult to recall)

Alhamdulillah we never regretted the decision to send him back homefor continued educationdistanced from us and his other 4 siblings (+ 2 in-laws and a littleniece), many miles apartbut the positive changes that we noticed in him & improvements inmaturity and sense of responsibilitywere all fruits of good tarbiyyah at this particular boarding school

no doubt its been a very2 sad episode in our liveswe still cry over this, me breaking down more times than myemotionally-stronger better halfthe worst affected have been me and our little 12-yr old aimaneven my girls are made of tougher material; must have been thedouble-X genetic make upkak ngah who had to stay back in doha and missed mu’adz’s last daysbecause of univ classes and difficulty in flying back with her babywas instead consoling us over the phone on learning of her brother’sterminal illness and eventual departure

but life has to go onthough terribly saddened, Alhamdulillah we’re all very thankful and contentedwith this whole event and the Mighty Creator’s decreeand the fact that we managed to bear patience and endure it all in tranquilityand gotten the strength from sources we couldn’t have imaginedand for HIS decision, which we are very convinced as the bestevident blessings from all your prayers and supplications

i have been and shall always pray for all of youfor HIS continued guidance, mercy and forgivenessand forbiddance from the torments of the grave and hell fireand for HIS multiplied rewards in the best eternal abodeand may Allah grant my prayers in turn, ameen

once again, syukran jazilan wa jazakumullahukhairan kathiraninsya allah we’ll be back home for the summer vacation, 27 jun-6 augreally hope to catch up with more of you, in better times, this time round