Friday, March 16, 2007

The Running Diary Review: New Avengers 27

Yeah, I realize the book has been out for more than a month. I don’t get to the shop every week. Sue me.

Anyway, I wasn’t even going to pick this up after those brutal Civil War tie-in issues (I jumped ship after the Luke Cage lovefest), but I picked up Mighty Avengers 1 and absolutely loved it. Which was surprising, since it had two strikes against it. A.) I didn’t really like the lineup; and B.) I just assumed this was going to be Bendis’ response to criticism of New Avengers, and he’d tank a book of ‘Classic’ Avengers just to show that he’s right and everyone else is wrong.

But I liked it. A lot. So I figured I’d give New Avengers 27 a chance.

PRE-READ: I couldn’t find this book anywhere in the shop. I saw something that had ‘New Avengers’ on the cover, but it also had Elektra. And a bunch of ninjas. So that couldn’t possible be it, right? Well, after a near-fist fight with the shop owner (not over that, but the fact that he keeps putting these books with the other ‘A’ titles, despite the fact that it clearly starts with ‘N’), I found out that, yes, this was indeed New Avengers 27, complete with Elektra and ninjas.

All right then. Let’s dive right in.

PAGE 1: Ahhhhh crap. This features Echo, doesn’t it? Frick, frick, frick…..I hate this character. Great. Though there is the possibility she’s dead. I can live with that.

PAGE 4: Too….much….Echo. Too…..much…..Ronin. Where the f**k is Spider-Man?

PAGE 6: And I quote: ‘I couldn’t help but think that, if Tony Stark lived here, in this country, I’d probably already targeted him as a war profiteer.’ Says the chick that was raised by THE KINGPIN.

PAGE 7: Ah crap! It’s Elektra. I was hoping that she wasn’t really in the book and it was just one of those kooky Concept Covers that doesn’t actually represent what’s inside.

PAGE 8: Double crap! She’s got The Hand with her. Where the f**k IS Spider-Man?

PAGE 12: Elektra 1, Echo 0. Elektra jams a sai through Echo’s deaf ass. This is the first time I’ve ever actually sided with Elektra. At this point, I’d take a Sentry appearance.

PAGE 13: OK, now I’m officially against Elektra again, because she’s trying to use that goofy ‘Resurrection’ gimmick The Hand is so fond of. No Elektra, you had the right idea a page ago! No more Echo!

PAGE 16: Still no new New Avengers. Only crappy Echo, Elektra and The Hand. Where is the Mole Man? Mighty Avengers had Mole Man. This just has a retread Daredevil storyline. But without Daredevil. Or Frank Miller.

PAGES 17-18: Finally, the new New Avengers show up. There's Luke Cage, Spider Woman, Wolverine, Iron Fist (that’s tight), and…..ugh…..a new Ronin, apparently. Where the f**k is Spider....oh wait. He's wearing his black costume. A really badly drawn Dr. Strange is there, too. He looks like he’s trying to clear a hurdle. Dr. Strange: Track Star. That’s a mini I’d pick up. Watch Dr. Strange stop an interdimensional assualt by Dormammu, but still make it to the big meet in time to set a personal best in the 55 high hurdles!

PAGE 20: Yes, Cage. We get it. YOUR SKIN IS UNBREAKABLE. We also know you like to nail white chicks. In the butt.

PAGE 21: Why does Daredevil want Cage to kick Elektra in the groin? Did she have some kind of gender reassignment surgery? Does she have testicles now? That was just dumb.

PAGE 21: Ah, for the love of…..JUST LEAVE HER DOWN THERE SPIDER-MAN! Screw it, I hope someone shoots your Aunt.

PAGE 23: I dig the Iron Fist action at the end. I’m not sure it was worth sitting through the rest of the issue, though.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Um, this wasn’t very good. I don’t mind the lineup, and I think Cage as the leader is a natural progression (though I wish he hadn’t been jammed into every comic in the last five years), but this didn’t have much going for it. It did, however, get me thinking about how much I’m looking forward to the inevitable Bendis Backlash that’s sure to happen in about five years or so. You know, when he’s engulfed by it so completely that he’s reduced to pitching rejected ‘Luke Cage and Jessica Jones: Generations’ scripts every year and he’s fast at work on a ‘Darkhawk’ revamp.