Because reality is stranger than fiction.

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Monthly Archives: March 2009

Odd: It was raining pretty hard as I walked to the T this evening on my way home from work. But… I saw some spots where it was dry… and no real reason why it was dry… It confused me.

Ew: There was a large brown smudge on the window of the red-line T, which I noticed as we were coming into Park street station. The guy standing right next to the window (it was the window on the door) must have noticed it around that time too, because he was staring at it… and then I watched… he put his head very close to the brown smudge (no imagination needed here folks… it looked like exactly what you’re thinking) and his nose wrinkled, and he drew back his head… soooo… I’m going to think that he smelt exactly what I thought it was. However… he didn’t just stop there… he then lifted his hand, and poked at it… I nearly gagged.

In between: There’s an ad that says “We delete users unfit to date” And it’s for a dating web site. Now… I understand why they would have that copy on their ad. However… perhaps they should have put some context around that. Is it that they’re unfit, cause they’re married? (obvi) or, perhaps because they have ten thousand dollars in debt… and are wife-beaters (obvi) … but what exactly is this criteria that makes one “unfit to date”? As I thought about it more… I realized that I may be unfit to date… I’m terrified of commitments, don’t have a lot of time, and haven’t had a great-perfect relationship ever in my life… they’ve almost all been complicated. LOL. And I’m a pretty ok person… does that mean I’d be “unfit to date”
Because I had to think about it that long… I realized that the copy was actually quite horrible… THINK guys… before you post things up…

I keep forgetting that I have this… and thus haven’t posted on here in a while, yet have had quite a few observations. Sooo… I’ll just list them here.

1. There’s nothing better than seeing a guy who looks like the ultimate harley-rider, hells angel kind of guy, walk out towards his vespa, and then putter away.

2. When wearing an “earthhour” t-shirt, be prepared to have people ask you what it is… and to get it horribly wrong and ask, “what’s earth day” To which, one must respond… “Well… Earth Day is something you should have known about since grammar school… and in all honesty, has nothing to do with Earth hour.” Then… once people understand that earth hour is something else… they may in fact question you with something similar to the following: “Too lazy to do a whole day, only want to do an hour?”
This is the point at which I usually have to either zip my lips, or sit on my hands.

3. Getting your ears boxed, is not the same thing as cylons get.

4. Having a Jadis the white witch action figure from “McDonalds” on your desk is a great conversational starter. That being said… having a coffee cup that still has coffee in it from last week… is also a great conversational starter, though not the kind of conversation you probably want to have.

5. When people ask you “how’s that coming along?” They basically mean. “Is it done?”

6. Just because it’s shot on a RED camera, does not mean that it needs a green screen for the format to work right. Trust me… no green screen involved, and while it’s… slightly boring… it’s beautiful!

7. When having your taxes prepared by a “professional” who you are paying a very high price for, it is not a good thing to have them turn to you and say. “I think that’s right.” In fact… they should never “think” something’s right… they should… “know” that’s right. That being said… it’s also not a very good moment, when they say. “I should really go home and get some sleep, because I’m messing up left and right today.” Then end that statement with a chuckle. THAT is not something that makes me feel less nervous about getting my taxes done. If I had known how to do it… I would have done it at home… the reason why I brought them to the accountant, was because I thought they would know exactly how to do them, and I’d have no worries.

8. If you geek-out in a place where there are not that many people who understand what you’re geeking out about… it doesn’t come off as cute and funny, it comes off as slightly deranged, and weird.

Ok. So I may not be the neatest person but I do believe in cleanliness… However what I saw this morning was a bit different. As I walked down the sidewalk I saw a man tugging a bucket and mop… He was mopping the sidewalk.

I mean it was in front of an establishment… But to me that just seems like busy work… Especially since it’s supposed to rain tonight.

I was sitting outside on the front porch of my apartment building yesterday, smoking a cig before heading upstairs and falling asleep… and I noticed something interesting.

The lattice work on the plant holders, and the benches… well… at one quick glance, I saw a big X, however, just a few seconds after that, I realized that in the middle of the big X was… well… a swastika. I don’t think it was on purpose, but… perhaps they ought not have chosen that pattern.

Ever see those white stickers with the outlines of different animals on them?
I have one that has a scottie dog, and one that has a horse’s head. People get them with their dogs, or cats, or animals… think they started cause of the fad with the different call signs for places like OBX or CC or what have you.

I saw one on a car that I literally had to go close up to, to figure out what it was.
It was an outline of a llama. Now, if I lived in the country, that might not be that much of a deal… but I live in the city, and that car had a neighborhood parking sticker on it, which means they live here too.

This poor girl. I watched her trying to get off of the T this morning… I had to push my way through the crowd…but I saw her shoved off to the side. She didn’t make a peep, nor attempt to make any other movement… simply smiled, at everyone… I mean literally turned her face towards everyone and smiled, and nobody really noticed.
And as I got off the train… I realized she didn’t get off… and the doors closed.

I think she was attempting to have people simply be nice to her and allow her to get through, without being rough.
I wish the world worked like that… Where a smile would act like Moses parting the red sea.

Saw a guy with the coolest hair ever… It had to be every shade of manic-panic hair dye. He seriously looked like a lost member of Rainbow Brite’s gang.
And while I saw the hair, saw the complete cacophony of colors, I realized… the guy was actually hot.
I’ve seen losers, weirdos, punks, and everything else in between who do random things to their hair to attract attention away from their homely visage, but… I think this is the first time I’ve seen a guy… who if you turned him dark haired, and threw him in a blazer would be able to settle in at a country club.