I am a Survivor

Fuck this shit. I swear I’m done.
I’m tired. I’m pissed. Life’s supposed to have fun.
Seriously, “God,” what the hell is up?
You keep expecting me to go on- but once again I’m fucked.

20 years now- trying to find the place
But I can’t gain any ground with all this shit coming at my face.
“I am a Survivor”, God, I hate those words.
They define me and confine me and it’s what I’ve always heard.

I just want… just want to be ME
But it seems a survivor is all I’ll ever be.

Cancer is a bend in the river…

Cancer is a bend in the river
Once I might drown in
Life flows from me again
Once again my body betrays me
Hard to find a reason…
Maybe time to move on…
…Love finds a way.

I admit, I started watching Supernatural purely for the Jensen Ackles fix, and of course, fell head over heels for the whole show. I try not to fangirl too much, and while I still think Jensen (and just about the whole cast) is amazing… if I could choose to have lunch with anyone in the world, it would probably be Misha Collins. He seems to have the most fascinating background… and before Random Acts (randomacts.org) when he did his first charity run, I could tell how much he truly cared about making a difference in this world and instead of being a typical celebrity just enjoying the fan worship he realized he could harness that “power” and use it to bring good things to the world.

I feel like he’s always tried to give back to his fans even more than he feels we’ve given him. He’s one of those rare people who got some fame and actually deserved it.

Next year I’m hoping to do gishwhs (can you believe that was one of the few words this new phone didn’t try to replace or spellchecker? HA! ). I can’t wait.

"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is, 'God is crying', and if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is, 'Probably because of something you did'." ~ Jack Handey