Linen shorts. They sound so breezy and lightweight, so tropical. Unfortunately, when going to the beach you always end up having to lug around a huge tote bag that doesn’t work with your otherwise breezy, tropical outfit.

But with shorts like these, you can skip carrying a bag entirely. You can just roll up your beach towel and stuff it in one of your pockets, along with sunblock, a trashy novel, sunglasses, a large hat, and maybe some tropical fruit.

From this angle, it even looks like the pockets provide a sheath for your umbrella.

Of course, it’s all just an optical illusion – according to the website, these shorts have a “unique faux pocket design.” So, in fact, you’re stuck carrying the tote bag while wearing shorts that only make you look like you could double as a pack mule.

You want to know how these shorts make me feel?

And no, I totally wasn’t just waiting for an excuse to use this t-shirt. It directly relates to the post. But if you want to buy it for me in a medium, I won’t object.