1. Life Is a Journey Hummingbird Unisex Tie-Dye Shirt

Price: $30.50
Show your friends your carefree attitude with a funky tie-dye print and two grammatical errors. This shirt is actually customizable, so if you want to change “im” and “everyday,” knock yourself out. That hummingbird won’t budge, though.

2. Blah Blah Blah Phone Case

Price: $19.90
Are your phone conversations long and incoherent? Do friends sometimes let you yammer on because it’s easier than trying to make sense of what you’re saying? This phone case lets everyone know, “I am a nightmare to talk to.”

3. Luvin’ My Life Capri

Price: $43.00
For those who love their lives but don’t have much self-respect, these capris are the perfect way to walk around with “luvin’ my life” emblazoned on your ass. Note that this isn’t even the preferred spelling of the word, but hey, “luvin’” is quirky!

4. Life Is a Journey Capri

Price: $43
Or perhaps you’re not “luvin’” life — you’re not quite there yet, but you recognize that (you guessed it!) life is a journey. These capris are well suited to the roller coaster of existence. Life is a journey that ends with your ass. Heart.

5. Chicken Apron

Price: $20.10
Nothing says mentally competent like an all-caps demand for your chicken. Look, you can wear this apron when you’re making chicken, if you’re boring. But you can also wear it out as a conversation piece, or at least a warning sign.

6. Good Thoughts Shirt

Price: $22.50
Your life of good thoughts and good actions can start after you buy this shirt, which was a poor thought and an even worse action. Oh, well. Who doesn’t love gray tie-dye and hot pink? There’s also a butterfly, as a reminder that goodness is fleeting.

7. Slut Pig Booty Shorts

Price: $25.19
Remember that good thoughts extend to those around you, too, so why not commemorate that time you called Brandi a slut pig because she pointed out that you were totally high. Incidentally, these make great stocking stuffers!