Thursday, June 23, 2011

I. Love. Diet. Dr. Pepper. Love it. In a can, bottle or preferably from a fountain. I love it mixed with whiskey or rum. I love it when my throat feels clogged in the morning.
What I do not love, are businesses that sell regular Dr. Pepper, and not its superior Diet counterpart.
Walmart is the latest to fall to the "regular only" businesses. My only pleasure in going to Walmart, was at the end of shopping, there were ice cold Diet Dr. Peppers waiting to be purchased and then drank by me. Now, they're gone. Seemingly replaced by Fanta. WHAT THE FUCK IS A FANTA?
I run into this at every restaurant that is not Chic-Fil-A or McDonalds. "Do you guys have Diet Dr. Pepper?"
And they will always give one of three responses. 1. No, we have Diet. Coke (which is an ok substitute in a pinch.) 2. No, we have Diet Pepsi. I would rather get punched in the head of my dick, than drink Diet Pepsi. Then, 3. No, but we have regular Dr. Pepper. Which is the worst response. Because I clearly wanted Diet. They clearly are able to order Dr. Pepper products, but purposefully chose not to. Oh, they'll carry Fanta's, and whatever the Pepsi knock off of Sprite is. Or fucking Root Beer. But in their myriad of choices that include Dr. Pepper, its Diet alternative is left off. Why? I would be willing to wager that more people drink Diet Dr. Pepper than Fanta. Or Diet Fucking Pepsi.