Can’t attend the conference?

The True Woman 2014 National Women’s Conference in Indiannapolis starts in less than two days. Can’t attend the conference? You can watch the main sessions live on-line! Registration for the on-line video stream is FREE. Register now to secure your spot: Live stream – truewoman14.com/live

Can’t attend the conference?

The True Woman 2014 National Women’s Conference in Indiannapolis starts in less than two days. Can’t attend the conference? You can watch the main sessions live on-line! Registration for the on-line video stream is FREE. Register now to secure your spot: Live stream – truewoman14.com/live

A Fabulous Makeover

Since it was first published in 2001, this award-winning Bible study has helped tens of thousands of women experience the power of transformed speech. After almost a dozen reprints, we decided it was time to give it a makeover and a stylish new look. Good-bye to the bright yellow big-haired cartoon ladies at the coffee shop. Hello to a funky fresh take on let’s-talk-over-tea. The design team did an amazing job… I think it looks fabulous!

What’s New?

In this revised edition, you’ll get all the great study material from the original workbook . . . plus fresh graphics, new introductions to each week’s lessons, and a new summary of each week’s theme and the challenge it presents.

There are extra questions to help you ponder what you’ve learned as well as a summary of the key application points to help you remember and practice your new communication skills. We’ve also included extra space for you to journal and express your thoughts.

Besides the makeover of the Bible study, I’m excited to announce the launch of the new Conversation Peace website: conversation-peace.com. Head on over there and browse through all the extra resources.

We all need Conversation Peace

I recently got an email from a Christian blogger who told me she had just done the Conversation Peace study and was “smoked” by it. She said “I didn’t think I had real problems with my words, but boy, was I wrong!”

I felt the same way as I worked on the revisions.

Even though I wrote the material,… and even though I’ve led several women’s groups through the Bible study,… and even though my husband and I have used it in pre-marital counselling, I was still “smoked” by it! I was deeply convicted by God’s Word about areas of my speech that still need transformation. Like those veiled criticsms that I justify under the guise of humor.

If you haven’t studied Conversation Peace, I encourage you to do so. I’ve heard hundreds of testimonies of relationships that have been transformed as a result of a woman’s transformed speech. Like the woman who flew across the room and locked me in a massive bear-hug at a conference, crying “You literally saved my marriage!!!”

If you’ve already done the study, I encourage you to do it again. I’m not saying this because I’m trying to pump my own tires. I’m saying it because of the profound change I’ve witnessed in women who take the message to heart and diligently work at developing godly speech patterns. I know of one woman who has done the study SIX times! yes, SIX!! Each time, she learned new things, and her speech changed for the good. Her family couldn’t believe the transformation!

I think you’d agree that godly speech is an area that we all need to work on. We ALL need more conversation peace!

Over the next few weeks, I’ll be posting a series on speech and communication, based on the Conversation Peace Bible study. Stay tuned!

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a small mole-like insectivorous mammal with a long pointed snout and tiny eyes.

a bad-tempered or aggressively assertive woman.

Old English scrēawa, scrǣwa, of Germanic origin; related words in Germanic languages have senses such as ‘dwarf,’ ‘devil,’ or ‘fox.’

“…it biteth deep and poysoneth deadly…” (E. Topsell, 17th century)

A shrew is a small, aggressive mole-like mammal that has a mouthful of sharp, spike-like teeth. Unlike most mammals, shrews are venomous. When they bite, the poisonous neurotoxins in their saliva paralyze small prey. Once immobolized and comatose, the shrew will cache the prey undergound. While not normally fatal to larger organisms, the venom from a shrew bite can cause numbness, swelling, pain, and irritation that can last for several days.

In Shakespeare’s day, shrews were generally regarded with fear and considered to exert “malignant influences.” The use of the word “shrew” for a catty or ill-natured person (especially a woman) and the words “shrewd” and “shrewish” are derived from the animal’s name and are based on the creature’s unpleasant characteristics.

Six Habits of Shrews

A woman is a shrew when the venom in her words paralyzes or immobolizes her man, or when her attitude and/or words cause him pain and irritation. The trouble is, shrew-like behavior can become a habit. And left unchecked, it can slowly errode and poison a relationship. Sadly, many women are unaware or unconcerned about the toxins that continually drip from their lips.

Are you a shrew? Take the quiz below to find out:

1. Disrespecting

One of a man’s biggest needs is to feel respected. Are you cutting and sarcastic? Do you mock or belittle him? Do you publicly shame or embarass him? Do you make him look bad in front of others?

[ ] never [ ] seldom [ ] occasionally [ ] often [ ] habitually

2. Criticizing

Do you criticize his efforts? Do you nit-pick? Do you make him feel like nothing he does is ever good enough for you? Do you bash and blame? Do you disparage him and find fault ?

[ ] never [ ] seldom [ ] occasionally [ ] often [ ] habitually

3. Nagging

Do you badger and harangue him until he agrees to do what you want? Do you nag him to get your way? Do you annoy him with your persistent complaints or demands?

[ ] never [ ] seldom [ ] occasionally [ ] often [ ] habitually

4. Lecturing

Do you lecture him about what he should do? Do you reprimand, reprove, chide, or scold him? Do you stand on your soapbox and allocute about what he needs to improve? Do you treat him like a child? Do you give him tongue-lashings?

[ ] never [ ] seldom [ ] occasionally [ ] often [ ] habitually

5. Opposing

Are you contrary? Do you resist, defy & oppose him? Do you constantly pull in the opposite direction? Are you disagreeable? Do you always come up with a better idea? Are you unleadable?

[ ] never [ ] seldom [ ] occasionally [ ] often [ ] habitually

6. Punishing

Are you punitive? Do you put him in the doghouse? Do you pay back or censure him? Do you draw back and withhold affection or actively seek to punish him?

[ ] never [ ] seldom [ ] occasionally [ ] often [ ] habitually

Add up your score. Give yourself 1 point for each “seldom” answer, 2 points for each “occasionally,” 3 points for each “often” and 4 points for each “habitually.” Each “never” counts for 0 points.

How do you rate?

Under 5 points: No venom here. You’re not a shrew.

5 to 9 points: You’re not in the habit of biting, but sometimes you flash your sharp teeth.

Proverbs 19:13 says that the contentions of a wife are a continual dripping. You want to be the kind of woman who builds her house, and not the kind who with her own hands tears it down (Proverbs 14:1). So watch your words. Turn to the Lord for help. Avoid the six habits that will turn you into a shrew.

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Is it time to update your wardrobe? I’ve updated this popular article and included a new pin-able “3 Wardrobe Guidelines” info-graphic at the end. Make sure to post the Pin-bit of Wisdom on your Pinterest “my-style” or “fashion-looks” board . . . to remind you what the Bible says about what and what not to wear.
In 1 Timothy 2:9, the Lord provides three guidelines that help Christian women figure out what and what not to wear: “She adorns herself with respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control.” Let’s examine these three guidelines to help us ensure that our looks are in good order, properly arranged, and ready to display Christ.

Kosmio: Is It Becoming or Unbecoming?

Kosmio is the descriptive form of the Greek noun kosmos (to put in order, trim, adorn, or decorate), which is related to our English word cosmos—the universe. The Greeks regarded the universe to be an ordered, integrated, harmonious whole. Kosmos is the opposite of chaos. So when Paul told women that their adornment should be kosmio, he meant that like the universe, all the parts should be harmoniously arranged with the other parts. It should be “becoming”—that is, appropriate or fitting.

Given the context, I believe Paul was implying that our adornment ought to be becoming on a number of different levels. First and foremost, your clothing ought to be becoming, fitting to, and consistent with your character as a child of God. But it also ought to be becoming to your body type, becoming to your femininity, becoming to your husband, becoming to the other clothes you are wearing, and becoming to the occasion and place you intend to wear it.

There’s a tremendous amount of guidance in that small word, becoming. It challenges you to evaluate your clothes, shoes, purses, makeup, and hair from multiple angles as part of the harmonious, integrated whole of your life—to line up the seen with the unseen and the temporal with the eternal. It challenges you to bring a cosmic perspective to bear on your everyday decisions.

I like the word Paul chose. It has enormous implications. Kosmio means that a Christian woman’s “look” ought to be consistently put together, inside and out. This challenges those who put an undue emphasis on external appearance as well as those who neglect their personal appearance. It’s a corrective to women who dress extravagantly. It’s a corrective to those who dress seductively. But it’s also a corrective to those who think that “holy” means frumpy, ugly, unfeminine, and out of style. Becoming indicates that running around in baggy jeans and T-shirts all the time is just as inappropriate as being obsessed with stylish clothing. It means that a woman’s appearance ought to be put together nicely. It ought to be pleasant and attractive—on the inside and the outside.

Aidous: Is It Decent or Indecent?

The second word, aidous, is based on the Greek term for shame and disgrace. The word is a blend of modesty and humility. When I think about a word picture that personifies this concept, I think of approaching God with eyes that are downcast. It involves a sense of deficiency, inferiority, or unworthiness. It suggests shame, but also a corresponding sense of reverence and honor toward rightful authority. It’s the opposite of insolence, imprudence, disrespect, or audacity. Downcast eyes are the opposite of defiant eyes.

So does dressing with your eyes downcast mean that you are self-conscious? No. It means that your clothing tells the truth about the gospel. Your clothing shows the world that Jesus covers your shame and makes you decent. Your clothes cover your nakedness as the clothing of Christ covers your sin. Dressing “with eyes downcast” means that you choose clothes that are decent in His eyes . . . not clothes that are provocative, seductive, and that honor nakedness.

When you dress decently, you recognize that God ordained clothes to cover, and not draw attention to, your naked skin. You cover up out of respect for Him, the gospel, your Christian brothers—and out of respect for who He made you to be. Decency means you agree with the Lord about the true purpose of clothing and set aside your self-interest to dress in a way that exalts Christ. So in that dressing room trying on that skirt, take time to sit, bend, and stretch in front of that mirror, and ask yourself, Is this skirt decent? Does it do what it should do? Does it properly cover me up? Does it showcase my underlying nakedness—or exalt the gospel of Christ?

Sophron: Is It Moderate or Excessive?

The final thing to ask yourself about clothing is whether it is moderate or excessive. Paul uses the Greek word sophrosunes (sophron). It means “of a sound mind; curbing one’s desires and impulses, self-controlled, temperate.”

Sophron is a word that has a lot of meaning that’s hard to capture in just one English word. It’s derived from two Greek words. The first part of the word, “so-,” comes from sozo, which means “safe” or from soas, which means “sound.” The second part, phren, means “mind.” It’s sometimes written as “fren” and is found in the English language in words like schizophrenia, phrenitis (inflammation of the brain), frenzy, and frenetic. Phren likely comes from the ancient Greek word phrao, which means “to rein in or curb.” Essentially, sophron means having a safe (saved), reigned-in mind, or a sound mind. It’s a person who acts like they’re in their right mind, spiritually speaking.

Sophron contains the idea of restraint. The last syllable, “phren or fren,” likely comes from the ancient Greek word phrao, which means “to rein in or curb.” Interestingly, Modern Greek uses the word “phrena/frena” for car brakes. What’s more, “handbrake” in Spanish is “freno de mano.” In each instance, the word for “brake” stems from the same ancient Greek root as the second syllable of sopron. It’s a powerful word-picture: dressing sophron involves putting on the brakes.

The word indicates that our adornment should be reigned-in and sound; reasonable and not crazy. We ought to rein in our impulses and avoid extremes in fashion, hairstyles, and makeup. We also ought to avoid spending crazy amounts of money or stuffing our closets full of crazy quantities of clothing. We ought to govern our wardrobe choices with a sense of moderation, simplicity, and self-control.

If the outfit is crazy extreme, crazy expensive, or if it’s crazy for you to be buying another one, then you ought to pass it up. Understanding the purpose of clothing and asking yourself the three questions, Is it becoming? Is it decent? and Is it moderate? will help you figure out how to dress. And don’t forget to include your “Helper” in the process. The Holy Spirit is an invaluable source of assistance when it comes to figuring out whether or not your appearance glorifies God. If your heart is right and you seek His guidance, He will be your personal wardrobe consultant and teach you what and what not to wear.