My So-Called Sex Life

Will You Diet For Your Husband?

The holidays are fast approaching. With all the food, treats, drinks and general stuff-your-face-ness this season brings, many women complain about dieting stress.

"Oh, man, you're not helping me at all," my friend told me last year as I handed her a plate of cookies. "Wait a second... do those cookies have what I think they have?" she added, to which I responded, "Yes, they are anatomically correct gingerbread men. You like?" Those treats are a tradition of mine every year! (Sorry, Daria... I didn't pass them out to mom friends from school. I ran out of the ... um... defining ingredients.)

Another complaint I often hear is, "I am eating more and exercising less. How the heck am I going to fit into my New Years dress, let alone have the energy needed to get all that shopping done?"

All those complaints are human, and each of us have different solutions to stay healthy. Some of us have given up the fight completely and are fine with our plus size cocktail dresses. "God didn't make us all a size two," I heard someone say in the store the other day, to which I responded with a hearty, "Amen, sister."

Whether a woman be petite or a busty 3x, that's her business.

As for me, I'm a size 10 and proud of it. I want to be fit and strong. The fact that Rex likes my slowly changing "yoga bod" is awesome, but I'm not doing it for him alone. And I certainly hope to never lose the softness that originally attracted Rex to me. Many women prefer muscles and totally toned Michelle Obama guns. Hey, if that works for them, awesome, but only under one condition. Which leads me to the point of this post: I am completely, 100%, totally against women getting in shape just to please a man.

I understand that some men like teeny waisted babes with lithe bodies that could double for Peter Pan's understudy. I live in L.A. and they are ripe for the picking along these here parts - no problem!

But there are plenty of men that like a more va-vooomy figure. And that speaks most to my views on dieting: Why should women starve themselves to fit an ideal for a certain man's preference when there are ten others in line who wouldn't mind some hot buns with a side of shake?

I hear alot about problems arising when a spouse's appearance changes after they are married. But to that I say this: "Did you really think your partner was going to look exactly the same as they did the day they said, "I do?" If our bodies grow a bit, perhaps it's time to grow our souls and look at life through a more mature lense. If our relationships are that shallow, then the weight gain can be an awesome incentive for two people to work on their relationship and love what they have, not what they don't.

How do you feel about your spouse's looks? Do you wish he or she would diet, get a new haircut, change their appearance? How do you feel about YOU? Are you making changes from an authentic place or just to please your mate?

As for me, I really can't complain about Rex. I find him more attractive today then I did ten years ago - and that's the truth!

* Photo taken a few years back pre-Yoga. I wasn't as tone as I am now (and I still have a ways to go) but I felt good in my skin - and that's what counts. I hope you do also.

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