Friday, March 23, 2007

Right, this sucks!

I'm hating the whole school thing right now, it's becoming as much a drain on me as homeschooling was, but in a different way... Grrrr...

Went to pick the boys up from school yesterday and ended up have both their teacher needing to "just have a quick word" with me about each of them...

From Luey's teacher:

"I've been having to tell him off for several days in a row now because he brings toys to school and doesn't keep them in his bag but brings them to the mat and plays with them when we're supposed to be doing other stuff. He is also poking and distracting the other kids and not keeping his hands and feet to himself, and he is not participating in class activities, just saying, "No, I don't want to" and being defiant. I know he isn't used to sitting still and concentrating because he didn't go to kinder..."

Anyway...

From Erik's teacher:

"I had to send Erik to his buddy class for 10 minutes today, just for a bit of intimidation because he lied to me about being seen going out of bounds. Several children saw him, but he refused to admit he was out of bounds, so I sent him to his buddy class for 10 minutes to think about why lying isn't good and how I don't like being lied to. Erik is also distracting other kids in class, he threw a pencil at one child..."

With Luey's teacher I didn't say much last night except that I had noticed a change in his demeanour at home too was trying to figure out what it was. I honestly think school is very taxxing for him emotionally... Talked to her this morning after having a think. Told her I felt she is making an assumption about his previous experience, and that in fact he has had plenty of experience sitting still and concentrating, in a group and on his own. He DOES understand the rules, but what she is encountering is his personality. She said she didn't want to change or break down his personality but he needs to co-operate better in class because she has 25 students to keep organised. I queried that Luey's behaviour is so abherrent that it could only be put down to homeschooling and she admitted that there are several kids in his class with similar behaviour, but apparently the other boys have "known issues" which she makes concessions for (so basically we're copping the brunt of her frustration).

I told her that at home we need to put very firm boundaries on Luey because he is a child who is very strong willed and who does not back down when he feels pressured. I said we work around his opposition, rather than trying to meet it with greater opposition of our own. In a battle of wills Luey is a very determined warrior!!! She commented that while being the smallest child in the class he doesn't let other kids intimidate him. This tells me that possibly they try and certainly the teacher tries to intimidate him, and so he may be going to school prepared for war, if you know what I mean? In his relationship with his nanna, she was "playfully" threatened him, and he has not given her the time of day since - after nearly a year of barely acknowledging her, we only recently convinced him to hug her based on the fact that she shows she loves in many ways, and while what she said a year ago was NOT OK, she thought she was playing a game, and didn't mean to really upset him... What I'm saying is, if Luey decides this teacher isn't being fair or respectful of him, she can forget about him EVER co-operating with her.

I think, she understood and I made it clear I would be following up on this and keeping a close eye on it all...

With Erik, I've discovered that while he did break the school rules by going out of bounds. I also found out though that a few boys him his class decided to exact their own punishment on him by chasing him down, punching him and poking him with sticks, BEFORE going and telling a teacher he broke the school rules. He then lied to the teacher about going out of bounds because he didn't want to get into more trouble, and was then sent to the other class, which he said he didn't mind at all (LOL, that doesn't surprise me, he would have felt like a big kid), in punishment for lying. I asked him why he didn't tell the teacher about being punched and poked and he said he tried but she told him that "naming names" and dobbing wasn't something they did in his class. So, essentially it's not ok for him to cross the red line in the school yard, but it is ok for other kids to punch him and poke him with sticks...

1 comment:

Wow. *deep breath* I would be so emotionally exhausted after two interactions like that in one afternoon. I'm so pleased you called Luey's teacher up on her 'homeschool problem' point. What a shame she hasn't had any experience with children from different backgrounds before and felt the need to label that the 'problem' rather than try to incorporate difference.

Your description of Luey sounds an awful lot like me! I too have turned my back completely and utterly on people because of certain issues. I honestly just don't see why I should bother wasting my time - sounds like Luey can't either! :o) Go Luey!

I remember you mentioning a while ago that he wasn't talking much about what happened in his day at school. Is this still the case? Maybe something happened (ie: a clash of wills or something) really early on and he's just 'switched off' because of it?

And OMG at Erik's teacher telling him not to 'name names'!!!! I would be FURIOUS! Does the school have a bullying protocol? Because surely the other children would be in violation of that and you could bring it up with the principal as well as the teacher. I can't wait to hear what she says to get out of that one. Grrr...

Wow, I am really riled up after reading this post! :o) Hope you're a lot calmer than I am.