Saturday, April 14, 2007

The Bad Mommyblogger Purity Test

Greetings and salutations (first one to name the movie, the speaker of that line, and where I actually saw him in person – I’ll send you a mix CD). I'm Julie, and you can usually find me at mothergoosemouse. (Mix CD has been won by Amy Jo!)

It’s an honor to be here, trashing Her Bad Mother’s pristine blog with all of my trashiness. Frankly, I’m intimidated to be kicking off this burlesque show, as I’ve never even been in a wet t-shirt contest, let alone paraded across the stage of the Moulin Rouge wearing nothing but feathers. Consider me the little trick dog that amuses you. Kristen and Liz and Joy will be here with the feathers soon enough.

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I grew up in the Midwest, and when we weren’t out tipping cows, we were busy raising our scores on the Purity Test (thereby lowering our Purity).

The Purity Test consisted of two tattered sheets of paper that had been copied and re-typed and copied again and folded up and shoved into the back pockets of innumerable pairs of jeans as it made its way around our high school several times over. The 100 questions on the test concerned sexual experimentation, drug and alcohol experimentation, and how much trouble you’d gotten into with both of those. Not only was it fun to assess just how far your own innocence had deteriorated, it was also pretty interesting to guess – based on your friends’ scores – in what ways THEIR innocence had deteriorated. That is, which questions they’d answered yes and which ones they’d answered no.

It’s been at least 15 years since I last took the Purity Test, and now that I’m over 21, with a husband and children, many of the questions seem…well, kind of boring.

But a Bad Mommyblogger Purity Test? Well, that’s another story altogether.

The Bad Mommyblogger Purity Test

Check all boxes for which your answer is "yes".The "submit" button is at the bottom.

Damn! I'm still a virgin - I only scored 36% badness... I really had myself pegged for a badass so I guess I'd better start flaming, insulting and doing more anonymous stuff. Hmmm.... who should I hit first?

You answered "yes" to 4 of 25 questions, making you 84.0% Bad Mommyblogger pure (16.0% Bad Mommyblogger corrupt); that is, you are 84.0% pure in the Bad Mommyblogger domain (your Badness is 16.0%). According to the scoring guide, your Bad Mommyblogger experience level is: Hell, you ain't no Mommyblogger...let alone a Bad one.

And I could agree, but it leaves the question, if you blog about your step-mother and not your in-laws does it count for badness? I also blog about baby crack,but I guess that isn't the same thing. Just wait I will start flaming the relatives soon. :)

Practically a virgin (72% of one anyway) - sorry, dears, I can't possibly take the time to leave a thoughtful and interesting comment - must rush off and figure out how to bring up (down?) that score without (a) doing a convention, or (b) emailing my url to an ex or twelve...