Why I Didn't Get An Abortion

When I got pregnant with my daughter I was out of school, and working part-time at Forever 21. I was in a depressed state, wishing I was in college(even though I needed the break), smoking weed almost every day, and sleeping on my grandmother's couch. Sometimes I could sleep in my brother's bed while he was away at work. Altogether my life kinda sucked at the time, the only thing I really still enjoyed was modeling(even though I wasn't a real model). haha.

At the time, I was talking to my now boyfriend, who is Adora's father. I'm half Adora's father's age. My parents knew I was talking to someone but they didn't know who. So when I found out I was pregnant, my boyfriend was the first one to know. He was extremely excited because he always wanted a family, but never found the right woman to start a family with. Whereas I'm kinda upset with myself. Why wasn't I safe? How am I going to tell my parents this? I definitely won't be going back to college now....should I get an abortion?!?

So all these questions and emotions were going off. I ended up telling my sister and I questioned, "should I get an abortion?" My sister said, "no you shouldn't get an abortion." Then I finally thought about all the times I told myself when I was younger that if I ever got pregnant, no matter the age or the situation that I was in that I won't get an abortion. Simply because God blessed me with a child and there are many women that wish they can bare a child. At age 20, I'm old enough to be responsible for my own actions and to be a mother. If I wasn't ready to have a child I would have used protection or not have sex at all. So I texted my sister back and said, "you're right, I don't even know why that question popped up in my head." So I erased the thought of ever getting an abortion because that wasn't about to happen. I wasn't about to kill my own child, my own blood.

However, I was still working on going back to college. I started thinking, and honestly no matter how hard I worked, it would have taken me a couple semesters to get back into college because it is so expensive. I came to the realization that it was already going to be hard for me to get back into college, with a child or not. Yes, there are scholarships, but you can't simply say hey...I need a scholarship and it just magically appear. Well, at least they didn't for me, haha. There are also loans, but it's hard to get a loan with little to no credit without a cosigner. Also, you have to pay back loans, definitely not trying to have a chunk of my paycheck going to Nelnet for the rest of my life or worse...being in debt(which will probably happen, but who wants to be deep, deep down in debt where you just want to kill yourself??).

Now, how the heck was I going to tell my parents I was pregnant?? I really wasn't worried about telling them I was pregnant because my family loves babies! It was telling them that I got pregnant by someone who was 19 years older than me that was the hard part. Now telling my parents about Adora's father wasn't hard at all. I was worried for no reason, I told them hey, I'm pregnant with someone who has his own place, he is a manager, and he is very kind and more likely to take care of his child and I. Basically telling them the pros to dating an older man and that I didn't get pregnant by a guy my age that still depends on his parents. haha.

Fast forward to my first prenatal doctor's appointment, getting to see my little munchkin for the first time at 12 weeks. I heard her little heart beating and at that moment, I was so happy I didn't get an abortion. I actually started to tear up! I Thank God every day for blessing me with Adora. Thank you to my sister for saying the right thing at the right time!

*This is not to attack anyone who has gotten an abortion before. I hope this helps anyone who ever questions getting an abortion. If you have ever gotten an abortion or decided to not get an abortion, please comment below why you made the decision to help other women! Thank you!!