10 Stars Rejected From Playboy

The mother of eight was turned down by Mr. Hugh Hefner. But be honest, we all want to know what things look like after eight kids.

Kelly Osbourne

Hef said it would take too much airbrushing to get her in the magazine.

Michaele Salahi

The star of "Real Housewives of D.C." was denied because real housewives are annyoing as hell.

Tatu

Bad move, Playboy. BAD MOVE.

Audrina Patridge

They said no because... we have no clue. Maybe it's because she was on "The Hills" and that was the worst show ever?

Courtney Stodden

Playboy said no to her because they didn't believe her chest was real. She later went on the Dr. Oz show and confirmed they were. However, Dr. Oz also confirmed she was a gremlin and should never be fed after midnight.

Shirley Jones

Jones actually tried to get in the magazine when she was in her early 70s. We chose a picture of her young because we didn't want you to vomit on your keyboards.

Montana Fishburne

The daughter of Laurence Fishburne was denied because she had been in some questionable videos. When asked for comment, Fishburne took the red pill and left this existence.

LuAnn de Lesseps

The star of "Real Housewives of New York City" was turned away. She recently said she doesn't want to be in the magazine because her 15-year-old son would be mad; therefore, acknowledging her son might masturbate to photos of her and what a f**ked up family dynamic that is.

Britney Spears

Playboy wanted her to clean up her act before they let her in the magazine. This admirable move denied millions of guys everywhere the satisfaction of seeing her nude and sent Kleenex and sweat sock stock plummeting.