If any of my deranged relatives visit me donning a hockey mask and a sharp object, I'm running like there is no tomorrow. (This would happen any day...not just today and they don't have to wear a hockey mask either!)

I will not be having sex in an abanoned cabin....today. ;)

If someone calls me today to inform me that I've been approved a position as a camp counselor - and I have to start TODAY, I think l'm going to decline the position.