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I’m thinking I should get in a little better shape. Drop ten pounds or so. My doctor says “Walk”. And I should probably do that. It’s finally cooled down enough so one could walk comfortably…if one wanted to.

But I thought it might be more fun to have some kind of equipment to work out with. Never mind that I already have a weight machine and an electric treadmill. Buried somewhere under all the other stuff I store in the spare bedroom.

So I start cyber surfing and the first thing I find…

The Face Trainer

OK. I’m getting a wrinkle here and line there. Maybe even a little sag somewhere. This could work.

You are supposed to put on this contraption and for ten minutes do a variety of exercises. It’s resistance training at its best.

The Face Trainer fits firmly against the skin to provide resistance and helps muscles build and tone all 44 bilaterally symmetrical muscles of the face and neck. So says its promos.

Uh. Somehow I think I could do these exercises without the Freddie Kruger mask.

Then I read that the Face Trainer was made by the same company that gave us the No!No! YesYes! That permanent hair remover thingy that doesn’t work very well.

But to be fair folks, the Face Trainer is the only FDA registered product of its kind. Go figure. And, 42 % of participants in a clinical trial reported a reduction in both fine and course lines. A whopping 71 % of users saw a reduction in sagging. And 91 % of participants said they would recommend the product to a friend. Probably so they could laugh at them while they use it.

OK. That wasn’t going to work. So continuing to surf I found this nifty little product.

The Free Flexor

The information about this gadget says, “As one of the most dynamic fitness products available, the Free Flexor places over 20 workouts in the palm of your hand.” Palm of your hand? Uh huh…