tall tales in the burrow..

Literature

Out here in the Shadowlands
Where the fires burn cold
And touch knows no comfort
But acrid bitter for
Broken connections
Through broken trust
From promises broken.

Here in the shadowlands
Where we know no hearth nor home
We wander the desolate streets
to haunt as the forsaken
The walkways of yesteryear
Cursed to yearn that which we lost
As we look in
Through pain-stained glass
Of the happiness that is, without.

In the shadowlands
Were the forgotten tread
And hope dies a thousand deaths

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Some days weigh heavy upon us, leaden with worries and burdened by promises and commitments made. We hold the sky aloft, fight the good fight and keep the end at bay whilst we hope for respite. Of those days, some days we cry out to the heavens and wait till Atlas can share the load. Some days, it is more than we can bear and it all comes crashing down. And we hope unlike humpty dumpty we can put it all together again. And some days, the hardest of days, are attritional days, days made for a gradual grind and the slow inexorable march of progress, a water and mountain day.

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Distance like time passed tints everything with a warm rosy hue. Its all sunshine and rainbows and all of a sudden you’re perfect and all the darkness and tears before it are forgotten. I can no longer remember of there was more sun than cloud.

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So I stood and walked a while, I looked back and I saw myself younger, in the summer at my uncle’s house. I saw myself playing two-man cricket with my cousin, I felt the heat and smelt the humid air. I heard the dogs bark, the birds sing and faint rustle of leaves and grass as a gentle breeze blew past. I looked back and I saw myself laugh and shout at a well hit shot. I had no worries, I was happy.

I looked back and I saw myself grow. I saw myself at school on the hill, I had a book in hand and looked to the valley below. I could see the lake in the distance that called to me. I imagined dragons , fought wizards and saved damsels and rode into the sun. I took myself places because I didn’t want to be where I was. I saw myself on the hill, above my school, hidden in the trees, away from everything else because I was alone, I wanted to be alone because I thought they just didn’t get it. I looked back, I saw myself beginning to don armor because the world wasn’t as bright as I thought it was. I saw a young man, not yet broken but already brittle. I was lonely

I looked back and I saw myself at a friend’s birthday. I saw myself find love for the first time. It was just as easy as sitting opposite her at the table and everything changed. I saw myself and I saw joy. I saw the doubts creep in, the darkness eat me away till the light wasn’t there anymore and I closed my eyes. When I opened then again, she was gone. I looked back and I had lost something I didn’t yet understand but I yearned for it. I was heartsick.

I looked back, and a saw a man who’d seen what of the world he could see. I saw a still young man, world-weary, a bit battered, still not yet broken but with scars that might yet fade with time. I wished to give him a shoulder and prop him up but I knew there was nothing I could do. He wasn’t near the end, wasn’t even where I was, he was beyond my help. I saw the man look back, a wistful smile as he looked and saw where he had come from. He look forwards, looked right past me, drifted for a moment, shook it off and continued walking. He had places to go still.

I looked back and he wasn’t there anymore, I stood instead, in his place where his feet had stood. My boot print right above his in the shifting sands, a stick in my hand and a faint memory of where I was meant to be. So I looked up and into the distance and remembered. So I began to walk, I was him, I still had places to go and people to meet and maybe just maybe, reach journey’s end.