Tag Archives: Family

One year ago, at 2:26 am, my son was born. Today he is one year old. ONE YEAR OLD. I am looking at my son through the baby monitor as I write this down. My emotions keep wavering between deep guttural sobs to pure elation. My son, is ONE YEAR OLD.

If you would have told me two years ago that I would have a one year old right now I would hope that you were a psychic telling me my future (trust me, I did go to a few during my trying-to-get-pregnant days), but deep down I may not have believed you for fear it wouldn’t come true. And now here it is. My little baby, who is no longer much of a baby, but more like a waddling, drooly, pumpkin-toothed toddler, is about to reach his biggest milestone yet.

I think that this past year both our learning curves could be compared to that of a Mt. Everest graph, a colossal mountain which we hiked together, blindly, clinging to each other, but always together, mother and son, as one, learning how to navigate this new world that we both are a part of.

If I look back on all the things I have learned, it would take up much more than this blog entry. But I will sum up most of the highlights, if I can. And I will try without making my keyboard too wet.

To Idan:

One year ago, before you were born, I was neatly folding each onesie that family and friends had given me and made sure they were washed in baby friendly detergent. I neatly placed each one by month and size. I would put each one on my belly and would try to imagine you in them. ~Now they are all packed up, because you are too big, and you now wear t-shirts and pants. Like a big boy. And your mother is lucky if she can find one neatly folded, and has used up all the baby friendly detergent.

In one year you taught me that yes, I can indeed live off of 3 hours of sleep, and work a full time job at the same time. Before I had you, I would obnoxiously say to people how I NEEDED at least 9 hours of sleep, and if I didn’t get it, I wouldn’t survive. It has been one year, and I still do not get 9 hours of sleep. But I have survived, and I am a stronger person because of it. And I have loved you every waking minute that we have had together.

One year ago before you were born, I spent my last day before you were delivered with my best friend, shopping for things for you. That was the first time in four months that I walked around a store, and I was in shock to see Christmas items on the shelf, since the last things I saw were summer items. I walked up and down the baby aisle twenty times touching each different product and realizing that I was about to have a baby. For real. ~ I learned that the cute items that were bought, were not as important as the late night run to Walgreens weeks later for gas drops, Tylenol, and non-scented baby lotion.

In one year you went from being my little 6 lb eating, sleeping, pooping machine, to this young, vibrant ever-learning little boy. I have watched you say your first words, grow your first teeth, and take your first steps. You have developed your own likes, dislikes, and already have changed and touched the lives of everyone you’ve met. You have started developing your own personality which includes feeding the dogs cheerios, pointing and saying words, and biting your mom’s arm while laughing. You are turning into you.

One year ago before you were born your mother had no idea what true love was. Yes, she knew love. Very deep love from many people. But when you were born, all the questions of the universe were answered, heaven opened its gates a bit, and God let me look upon his face while I held a miracle in my arms. From that day, and every day since, I am so grateful and thankful that you are in my life.

Through the last 12 months I have cried, sobbed, laughed, cringed, yawned (a lot), questioned myself, questioned others, all the while trying to figure out this whole new life called mothering.

I could keep writing more, but I would keep writing the same words over and over. I love you Idan Joseph Humphrey. You are the light of my life. Thank you for being born, and giving me the best year of my life! Here we go, toddler-hood!

I have heard it since my childhood, that being a mother is the hardest job on the planet. I thought to myself, “What, really?! How can being a MOM and being home all day be that hard?!” Now, after my first week and a half home, I couldn’t agree more.

I remember watching Oprah in college, and she did this whole special dedicated to mothers, calling it the most important and least recognized job on the planet. She became very emotional and started crying. They panned to all the people in the audience, mostly women, who were dabbing their eyes with tissues, stretching out their mouths in the funny frown shape as they smeared their mascara down their cheeks. I am an empathetic person, and will cry with most people, but I never fully made the connection until now.

It is all true. Being a mom is the hardest, most rewarding, and least recognized job on the planet.

Last week my husband officially started back at school after a long and glorious summer. It honestly felt like I was starting my new “job” as well, and I couldn’t help but still have a bit of those new job rookie nerves. Idan is over nine months old, but this is the first time in our lives together that we are with each other for eight (plus) hours a day without any help, assistance, nearby guidance or even friendship. Nope, I am 100% on my own.

When I first had Idan, I was allotted eight weeks maternity leave before having to return full time to work. That time was such a blur that I really only remember fragments of it. I do have picture documentation of me however with my greasy, pulled up hair, mismatched PJ set, and swollen, puffy eyes from crying and lack of sleep. All I remember of that time was it was cold, I was sore from recovery, and I had a small bout of the baby blues. I was only home with Idan for a few weeks before the “hubs” had Christmas break, and then took over baby duties for two months while I went back to work.

However, life is different now that I am staying home with him full time. I no longer have pulled up greasy hair (well pulled up, but hopefully not greasy) My eyes are no longer puffy and swollen, in fact they have a bit of spark in them that was gone for a long time. I finally found the matching set to my PJs and have since organized my dresser.

Things are different than they were on maternity leave. There isn’t that impending doom of sadness lurking around the corner knowing that I have to leave my small child in the hands of someone else (Good hands, might I add, but still not mine nonetheless). I don’t have to rush every moment with him afraid that someone else will get to see it and not me. I am extremely blessed and fortunate that I am able to stay home and be the one to raise my son.

So that was the sunshine and rainbow part of the blog, now I want to briefly talk about the nitty gritty of what the first week was like. And like I said previously, being a full time stay at home mom is HARD!

I want to recap on a few events that have taken place:

Mommy and Idan’s adventure to the post office ended with pureed raisin, oatmeal and prune vomit down my shirt, in my hair, and on the book of stamps that I just bought (The nice lady behind me opened the door for me on the way out).

Idan decided that he now has a 15 minute window for each activity that he is engaged in before he screams like a holy terror (which makes any type of cleaning or cooking very challenging).

He acquired his second cold to date and three teeth coming in at the same time. Yes people, three teeth.

I have made 3 1/2 home cooked meals, and am pretty proud of how they turned out.

I did allot myself a “break” when he was napping and drank some coffee and watched my guilty pleasures that were recorded on the DVR. I have successfully followed my cleaning schedule for the first week, and I must say my house is cleaner now than it has been before. I know, I know, just wait till he is old enough to destroy the house, but I am enjoying it while it lasts.

I have even managed to fit in a trip to Babies R Us, Target and Walmart (while having nice hair and makeup might I add), re-organized my kitchen (mainly throwing away steel cut oats that had meal worms in them! EEK!), and managed to squeeze in exercise! Wheew!

I know that every week like this won’t be as eventful. I may even have a week of just being in my PJs and eating take-out. But, I am proud that I have started some semblance of a schedule. As a former Special Education teacher, being structured was extremely important for both the kids and myself, and I find that I am craving some of that structure at home. I have to say that even though being home is hard in many ways (mainly I am a bit lonely from lack of adult conversation and interaction), and being “on” ALL DAY, I do find that having a coffee break whenever I want it is an amazing perk! I might even bake some muffins to add to that coffee this week.

I want to wrap up this blog post by saying a special thanks to my mom who made it look so easy. She was always cooking, cleaning, helping my dad run a business, and still had time to always be kind to my sister and I, and hardly ever lost her patience! I am definitely taking a few tips from her while I am home, and a few recipes for that matter. Because it is true, nobody can do it like a mom can!

Until next time.

A few highlights!

Idan is on the VERGE of crawling. He does this scoot, crawl, roll combo thing, but he is moving!

My little babe is not so little anymore, weighing in at over nineteen pounds at his last doctor’s appointment, and no longer has his gummy smile. Two lower teeth and the two top ones poking through. *sigh* I am about to have a toddler

Last Sunday was my first official Mother’s Day! Why am I writing about it now instead of last week? Well, frankly it is the end of the school year, and anyone who is a teacher can tell you that life is INSANE the last few weeks of school. With the kids mentally checking out, the teachers emotionally checking out, it makes for a wicked and exhausting combo. So finally, after another long week I find that I have a brief moment to reflect on my first official Mother’s Day. And what a Mother’s Day it was.

It was absolutely glorious! I have wanted to be a mom for so long, and the day certainly met my expectations. During the time when it was hard to get pregnant, I always DREADED Mother’s Day like the plague. It was really hard to celebrate a day that I so desperately wanted to be a part of. Even though I knew I needed to put my selfish feeling aside and appreciate all the mothers in my life, it was just too painful to do so.

But this year, I was able to emotionally indulge. My husband – who, if you can’t tell from my blogs, is the most amazing husband in the world – had reserved the whole day for me to do whatever I wanted. He had a beautiful blue orchid on the table along with chocolate covered strawberries. We met my Mom (who really is the best mom on the planet) and Step-Dad for lunch, and then later devoured a few pieces of pie. I really wanted to do a craft for Mother’s day, so we went and picked out a few bird houses to paint and decorate. It was absolutely wonderful.

My wonderful son was decked out in one of his cutest Spring time outfits, and wanted me to hold him all day. I was in heaven.

For most people, Mother’s Day is just another commercial, cookie-cutter holiday aimed at society to make more money for cards and candy, but for someone who suffered years of infertility, it was more than that to me. Mother’s day was a symbol of the dream that I worked so hard to achieve. It was a day to celebrate the arrival of that next phase of my life, the one that I was holding my breath, just waiting for it to start. It was the day that I got to hold my son, smell his skin and kiss his cheeks, and Thank God for the gift He has bestowed upon me.

Yes, we did contribute to the cards and candy, and we partook in the Mother’s day hoopla, but to me it was a day I will always remember. It was the day that I could finally say, “Yes, I am now a mom and I love every moment of it!”

Thank you, to all the mothers in my life who have bestowed their wisdom upon me. Without you, I would not be the mom-in-training that I am now! I am thankful for all of the love and support that you all have given me during my fertility journey!