Parenting Humor: What Kids Think About Love & Marriage

Kids say the darnedest things, and they love to explain how grown up things work... or rather how they think these things work.

Probably one of the most confusing concept for children to grasp is love and marriage. To the youngest children, their parents just ARE. If you ask how their parents found each other or how they see their parents interacting, you’re sure to get the greatest explanation ever.

Our friends at the UC Berkeley Parents Network [1] asked children aged 5 to 10 about love and life, and some of the answers were simply incredible:

What is the proper age to get married?

“Eighty-four. Because at that age, you don’t have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom.” (Judy, 8)

Why does love happen between two people?

“No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That’s why perfume and deodorant are so popular.” (Jan, 9)

Surefire ways to make a person fall in love with you:

“Don’t do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain’t the same thing as love.” (Alonzo, 9)

How can you tell if two adults eating dinner at a restaurant are in love?

“Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food.” (Brad, 8)

When is it okay to kiss someone?

“It’s never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you… That’s why I stopped doing it.” (Jean, 10)

How to make love endure:

“Don’t forget your wife’s name… that will mess up the love.” (Roger, 8)

What's the funniest thing your little one has ever said about love and marriage?