Welcome Prince George

So Prince George is born to reign over us. Shame I wasted that quid at William Hill, betting on Kayden. Price Kayden – it had such a good regal ring to it.

The royal baby joins 2,200 other bairns who are born to Baby Boom Britain every day. But, of course, he won’t face the same pressures as the average UK child in education. Some pressures, I’m sure. But not the same ones. For a start, he will not be failed at five-years-old due to Nick Clegg’s tests, which will surely only serve to highlight what nursery teachers already know by this age – that children from poorer families are already falling behind their peers. He will not join a whacking great four-form entry super-size me primary where, what educationalists are calling the ‘exam sausage factory,’ will begin to churn until it spits out its stringy, lacklustre products at the end.

Eton may have an embarrassing school uniform even up into the sixth form, but at least everyone else around him will be in the same rowing boat. With EMA out of the window, young people from disadvantaged backgrounds find themselves unable to continue to access education beyond the age of fifteen, for shame, for practical reasons, for the sake of their families who cannot afford to give them lunch, books, equipment, bus fares and a few quid in their pocket to have coffee with mates in free periods. No, Prince George will never fall through the cracks.

In many ways, like our average child, the young Prince’s life is already mapped out for him by the powers that be, by the thinkers of Westminster. But he is lucky. He is not just a number forced into a locked box of rote learning by teachers who used to love the job but now quake in the shadow of Ofsted’s bellicose acts of caprice.

Maybe the fresh prince will have the common touch, but- lucky boy - there’s no way he will ever have the common educational experience.