Unfit Man Taking Up More Of A ‘Central Play Maker Role’ At Astro

Gary Lawlor, a 31 year old man who has been progressively getting fatter and unfitter, has decided to become more of a central play maker at his weekly game of astro.

Lawlor has taken it upon himself to assume the mid field role and act as more of a strategic mastermind, rather than an overlapping fullback, which he had claimed to have been for the last 13 years.

A growing urge to lead his glorified pub team and an increasing waste line made the move seem like an obvious choice.

Position

Lawlor now sits in the middle of the pitch, operating in a 5 foot radius he refuses to exit.

“It’s the role of a lifetime really. I just stand there and shout at everyone else and make the odd unreal pass, which helps me forget about 90% of the others that were frankly offensive. Then I collect the €4 euro from all the lads. It’s just the leader I am.”

Years of training have slowly helped Lawlor transition into the role. Countless spice bags and post match pints ensured he got into the physical shape needed for such a influential position.

It took time and commitment, something he’s grateful for now as he’s been able to advanced into the role.

He’s looking forward to assuming the responsibilities that come with the role and hopes the change will reduce the amount of times he goes home and cries himself to sleep after a heavy loss.