ANKARA, TURKEY (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan ordered a 10-year-old boy be arrested and jailed. The notoriously thin-skinned Erdoğan had the boy jailed for sticking his tongue out at him.

"I was being driven around Ankara looking for things to be offended by when a child on the left side of the road smiled, stuck his tongue out at me, and then tried to flee the scene," explained Erdoğan.