Most people have had their fair share of bullies, and when they get the guts to stand up to them, they usually imagine it will put an end to their reign of terror. Sometimes though, standing up to a bully can be scary and unsuccessful. To make the bully understand they have to stop, you must explain how it feels like and what they are doing wrong. Keep reading to find out how.

Steps

1

Choose your words wisely. Some people are bullies because they believe they were the victims first, so they are standing up for themselves. Be confident, but don't yell, because that will only make the bully even more angry. Talk calmly and think about what your going to say before you say it.

2

Another approach is being bold, speaking loud and confidently without yelling, and say exactly how you feel with no remorse.

3

Plan on back-up. More students, and maybe even teachers if the situation is that out of hand, will intimidate the bully. Just remember that you want the bully to think of it as an intervention, not a gang-up. You should be the one talking, and have some friends there to protect you.

4

Put yourself in their shoes. Before confronting the bully, think about whether you have done anything for them to be mean to you. Even if you have and they are teasing you every day, it isn't okay, but figure out if you had ever done something to caused the bully to become defensive? Don't jump to conclusions and blame him/her immediately.

5

If you really feel you haven't done anything wrong, don't apologize for making them mad. You want to be confident, not vulnerable. If during the confrontation you realize you have done something that ticked them off, find a way to make amends for it.

6

In this case, the ideal approach would be saying "I know that I upset you/hurt your feelings by (insert problem here). I'm truly sorry and I hope you'll accept my apology. However, I feel that things have got out of hand between us."

7

A bully only bullies people for many reasons, some of which are; because you have done something to upset them, to look cool around friends, they are jealous of you, if you are different in some way and they don't like it, or because they are feeling insecure. If your tormentor is trying to look cool, point that out to him or her and explain that being nasty to others is not cool at all, and no-one finds it cool in any way.

8

If the person tormenting you is insecure about themselves, try to talk to them and make him or her feel better about himself or herself.

9

Be a friend to the bully. Try to find out why this person is the way he/she is. Is it a family issue? Friend issue? Traumatic experience? The list goes on. Be a friend and stop letting them pick on you by pretending it doesn't bother you to make them stop, and maybe even be a friend to them.

10

Move on. If you were able to find even ground with this bully, forgive and forget. Maybe you will find that this once-bully is actually a great person to be around. Everyone has a good side. Sometimes it just takes a kindred spirit and some words of wisdom to bring it out.