A collection of short stories, articles, and poems intended to entertain, inform, and consider.

Thursday, April 2, 2015

YOU KNOW YOU'RE ADDICTED TO FOOD WHEN...

*You eat breakfast and then think
about what you’re going to eat for lunch.*At lunch you lick the trace of dressing
out of your bowl after you have finished eating all your veggies, then you eat
your Jenny Craig entrée and lick that container after you’re done.*You can’t wait to eat your midday
snack and when you’re done, you take note the time and count the hours to when
you can eat again.*When you can’t make it to the
next meal, you take from your “secret stash.”*Thinking makes you want to eat.*Seeing thin people makes you want
to eat.*Shopping for clothes makes you
want to eat.*Fashion makes you want to eat.*Exercise makes you want to eat.*Thinking about going on a diet
makes you want to eat.*Everything makes you want to eat.*You wake up the next morning with
crumbs on your nightshirt and can’t remember what happened? (Where did my ____’s birthday cake go?
you wonder.)*At parties or events you never
eat, but when nobody’s looking you take a whole platter of food and find the
nearest hiding place. You never eat in front of other people.*You wish you could stop yourself,
but you can’t. You don’t even know what you’re eating or how the food gets in
your mouth. You’re a starving wolf trying to survive to your next meal.*You eat and eat and eat and never
feel full. There is no “shut-off” switch.*Your guilt makes you want to eat
more.*When someone says something to
you about the way you look, you immediately slip out to get a couple Big Macs
and supersize the fries and drink.*You never go out to social events
anymore.*All you think about is food. All
you do is eat.*Your partner leaves you.*You lose your job and are forced
to get help from Social Services or Temporary Assistance.*You isolate yourself from the
outside world because you think you’re doing fine, but you’re not.*You use the “Finger Menu” and
order in, a lot.*Every restaurant in a 10 mile
radius has memorized your phone order.*Delivery drivers get paid through
the mail slot in the door.*At 600 plus pounds, when you can’t wipe your own ass, can’t clean up after yourself, are wading through a cesspool of your own filth, you finally realize you need help and call a professional, Dr. Younan Nowzaradan, at the Houston Obesity Clinic and beg for help.