Andrew Dice Clay was this week's subject, but he hung up on me. How does it feel to be second fiddle?I ain't no band geek, so I try not to know too much about fiddles. As for this Dice guy, he likes to go sleeveless, which I respect. Two things we don't need in this world: sleeves and JV sports. Sorry to hear about the Lice Man hanging up on you. I wouldn't do that to you. I mean, you got a good face. Overall, you're very prom-worthy. If this out-of-shape, Fonzie-faced giggle maker wants to dump you, I'll pick you right up.

Do you think Dice can bench-press as much as you can?
Dice couldn't even bench-press a whisper.

Who would win a Ripps/Dice forearm-a-thon?
My guns can't be competed against. My guns could wreck a prom. 1987 Fitchburg prom: wiped out by my guns. I mean, when I hold up my gun and flex, people often confuse it for Cape Cod. It's a real problem.

How many mattresses do you plow through annually?
Listen to me, Sara Face Alternative, I would need a varsity team of 102 math-club geeks plucking away at their abacuses for 84 weeks to calculate that number. I go through lots of mattresses because I like to stuff them with rocks and whip them into quarries. It's a good workout. You want to know how many broads I go out with in a year? Here's a simple equation for you: # of broads in a year = # of proms I attend in a year = A HUGE NUMBER!

Review: Attack the Block As a group of teenage thugs approach their intended victim (only their eyes are visible as they glare at the trainee nurse who's walking the cold south London streets alone on the way home from her shift), you'll be forgiven if you recall the recent wave of rioting in the UK.

Interview: Kathy Griffin "I think Ryan Seacrest and Oprah will finally be together, and it will be like one of those great '70s cover-up movies and I'm playing the body."

Telling the story of comedic genius Bill Hicks Some people throw parades for firemen. Others wave flags at Marines: "Thank you for your service." But for those of us who live to subvert authority — and who have sensed a strange hilarity emanating from this shitty planet since before puberty — the late comedian extraordinaire Bill Hicks is the quintessential American icon.

Lenny Clarke comes to Swansea Stand-up comic and actor Lenny Clarke has carved out a career as a Northeastern everyman — a wise-cracking, self-deprecating, heavily-accented jokester with an appealing obnoxious streak.

A Q+A with SNL’s weekend updater Though you may know Seth Meyers best as the anchor of Saturday Night Live 's "Weekend Update," he's anything but a one-trick pony.

World gone Wong "I'm an immigrant," says Joe Wong. "And I used to drive this used car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. One of them said, 'If you don't speak English, go home.' And I didn't notice it for two years."

INTERVIEW: ANDY RICHTER | November 25, 2009 We have a chub for Andy Barker, P.I. (just released out on DVD), because we have a major chub for the show’s star, Andy Richter. Richter plays an accountant who is mistaken for a detective-for-hire and decides to just roll with it.

REVIEW: SPREAD | August 19, 2009 If only there were some way to watch a con-artist houseboy give his cougar sugar mama a squirming reach-around, charm the pants off a candy-necklace string of countless empty-eyed Hollywood stick figures, lose his heart to an untouchable social chameleon, and, in the process, find himself .

NORTHERN EXPOSURE | July 29, 2009 While New York is grittier, Los Angeles juicier, and Boston is wicked smahter, for some odd reason it is Montreal that, for two weeks every summer, becomes the epicenter of the comedy universe.

JUST FOR LAUGHS | July 27, 2009 Blogs, Tweets, and comedy video direct from moose country

BEAT THE TWEET | July 22, 2009 Warm weather is supposed to be accessorized by lackaday, by a breezy sensibility best enjoyed with a frosty tall boy in one hand, the sloppy product of a back-yard barbecue in the other. Instead, I find myself struggling to balance my beer between my knees and my overstocked paper plate on my thigh as I furiously poke at my BlackBerry.