Wednesday, August 15, 2012

I don't do this often but it's a necessary evil on a blog with almost no ads. Thanks for reading.

On September 18, Indiana Jones finally comes to Blu-ray in Indiana Jones: The Complete Adventures. This five-disc set includes all three original films, including Raiders of the Lost Ark, which was completely restored from a 4K scan of the original negatives, and remastered versions of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, all in 1080p with new 5.1 DTS-HD Master Audio soundtracks.

Special features include:

- Detailed introductions to each film by George
Lucas and Steven Spielberg

- "Creepy Crawlies," a mini-doc about
the thousands of snakes, bugs, rats and other scary critters that
populate the trilogy

- "Travels with Indy," a look at some of the
films’ cool locations

- "Indy’s
Women," an American Film Institute tribute with leading ladies Karen
Allen, Kate Capshaw, and Alison Doody discussing their characters

- "Indy’s Friends and
Enemies," a look at the films’ various villains and sidekicks

RICHMOND, IN—Apparently heedless of the dismal fiscal climate, local
dog Digby is wolfing down kibble as though the United States isn't
limping its way through a goddamn economic crisis, the pet's owners
confirmed Thursday.

According to reports, the 5-year-old labrador appears callously
unswayed by the constant stream of gloomy market forecasts and instead
demands greater and greater supplies of dog food, to the point where he
must think the Dow Jones industrial average is soaring through the
fucking roof or something.

"We buy a huge bag of food at the Safeway every week, and Digby just
gobbles it up and comes back for more, as if we're still living in the
boom years of the late '90s," said the dog's owner, Lewis Chambers,
complaining of the household pet's ravenous, fiscally irresponsible
eating.

"How anyone could be so gluttonous while we're seeing some of
the worst economic indicators in generations is beyond me, but Digby
just doesn't seem to care. Hell, he won't even eat regular dry food now
unless the canned stuff is mixed in with it."

Attempts to understand the pet's colossal appetite and fiscal
obliviousness have yielded few explanations. Says small animal veterinarian
Dr. Janet Gardner, "Quite frankly, his behavior is abhorrent," said Gardner, who emphasized
that Digby does nothing to provide for the Chambers family, subsisting
entirely on free handouts.

"This asshole's chowing down like he's in a
pie-eating contest. Meanwhile, the nation's credit rating has been
downgraded for the first time in history, and everyone's fucking job is
moving overseas."

These are funny
because they are just too real. Children are so precious -- bless their
destructive little hearts. (I'll spare you the photos of what my kids
ruined: my waist, my boobs, and my tenuous grasp on sanity.) There are
many more examples here. -- RichGirlRed

Tyler knew there was candy in his mom's bathroom somewhere, and he would find it.

White laptop + kid + Sharpie = Xanax with a bourbon chaser

I was actually relieved to discover this was peanut butter.

The photo that started it all. One quart of black paint on an oriental rug.

Mr. Potato Head is SO toasted. Literally. In the gas fireplace.

Celebrities aren't exempt. John Legend's nephew ruined his Grammy.

Obviously, soft skin is a priority for this chap.

ZuZu Pets made terrible combs. Her hair got wound up in the wheels and had to be cut off.

Teenage driver, wrong pedal. Oops.

"I
sent my 4 year old son out to get in the car while I was wrestling my
newborn into his car seat all the while forgetting that I had locked
all the doors. Who knew that he was so strong and so determined and so
hell bent on destroying the newly PAID OFF car."