How fried bananas got me through traffic school

Tonight I have the joyous experience of doing an online traffic school course… a four-hour traffic course! Which, I suppose, if I were to look for a silver lining, at least it’s not the 8 hour court ordered one! But, it’s a full four hours and you can’t make it go any faster than that thanks to their super duper enhanced timer that the instructions are quick to point out knows if you even go to a different website and forbids the user from doing so.

Lucky for me, I have two computers so while one does the great countdown watching four hours of my life slowly tick by, the other has Pandora jamming and is my chance to write. So, take that, boring driving course! Ha!!

Ok, so maybe I’m a little hostile. Maybe it was my fault that I was speeding. But, come on, I was late for an acupuncture appointment, and, of course, it was because of a car accident along the way that had traffic stopped. Ironic, I know.

And, no, the other irony of the situation, that I was stressed and speeding to get to this supposedly relaxed and calming experience is not lost on me either – which, of course, makes it all that much more frustrating!

So, what does all this annoyance of a way to spend a Monday night have to do with my delicious discovery?

Well, if you’ve never had the pleasure of doing one of these online traffic courses, let me explain how they work.

After ignoring the bombardment of fliers from everything from “the cheapest traffic course” to “the funniest traffic course” to “the most intellectually stimulating traffic course” (which, btw, is a joke. Such thing does not really exist), most people, like me, are probably more likely to just google Florida Online Traffic School and take one of the first ones that comes up.

There are a few pages of instructions and making sure you can figure out how to click the answers to the questions properly, and providing the software with basic information that you and only you would know in order to avoid fraudulent activity and, I imagine, people getting paid to read about crazy drivers for four hours, the timer begins.

Each section has a set amount of time. You can take longer, but you absolutely can’t do it in less time. Which means, if a section is supposed to take 40 minutes, and it only takes you 15, you then sit and watch the seconds tick down for 25 minutes. Translation, you have an awful lot of time where you probably don’t want to wander too far away so as to finish it as soon as possible.

For me, that means hanging close to the kitchen, and feeling a bit antsy. Now, I suppose I actually could be using this time wisely, but there’s something about knowing you’re a prisoner to the clock that has me a little jumpy. It’s somewhat reminiscent of my days in Boston when we were walloped with snow and it wasn’t that I needed to go anywhere, but just knowing I couldn’t go anywhere made me feel trapped.

Back to traffic school.

At first, to pass the time and settle myself down a little, I tried to just eat some chips while I was reading and answering the questions.

Then decided that wan’t cutting it and I need to saute up some tempeh and leftover steamed broccoli, thinking a good meal would calm me down. Took advantage of my ‘break’, threw that on stove, and gobbled it up. It was good, but didn’t exactly hit the spot…. and there was still a lot of time to go on the clock.

Looked around the kitchen and the bananas on the counter called out to me. Thinking that would be the answer to finally getting down to business. After a few bites, I decided that was slightly on the boring side. Since I’m on a mission to get more coconut oil in my diet, I decided to ‘fry’ up some bananas in the coconut oil.

I figured it was going to be good. I just didn’t know how good. And, in case it wasn’t abundantly clear, my brain is a bit in overdrive right now which meant no time for creativity… the oil and the bananas would have to do.

Heated the oil, cut up the banana, tossed ’em in, flipped ’em over…

Amazingly I found the patience to let them cool on a paper towel – slightly – and popped one in my mouth.

One ended up a little crunchy and that was a surprisingly delightful treat.

Next time, when I’ve actually taken a deep breath and not gone through the kitchen like a tornado, I might even kick it up a notch with cinnamon or nutmeg. I imagine, whatever your style, there are so many options — iced cream, brown sugar, a little almond or peanut butter, dare I say — cocoa, shredded coconut??

I should probably stop while I’m ahead.

And, besides, the timer is approaching zero. Woo-hoo! Only 2 1/2 more hours to go … and thanks to my bananas, I am good to go!

MAKING FRIED BANANAS

1. Slice up the banana. I chose short little pieces but you could certainly cut it length-wise
2. Drop a teaspoonful or so in the bottom of a pan
3. Let it melt/heat just above medium
4. Place the bananas in the oil and turn down the heat to about medium or just below
5. Let them sit for 1 1/2 – 2 minutes depending on how brown you want your bananas
6. Flip them over to brown or carmelize the other side
7. Use a spatula to remove the bananas and set them on a paper towel to cool for a few minutes
8. Top as desired. Serve and Enjoy!