US Warns Iran: Dismantle Nukes or We Will Block You on Facebook

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - In its sternest rhetoric to date about the Iranian nuclear threat, the U.S. today issued an ultimatum to the Iranian government: dismantle your nuclear program at once, or risk being blocked on Facebook.

A Facebook blockade against Iran would have serious consequences, analysts said, such as preventing the Iranian government from accessing the U.S.'s profile or playing such popular online quizzes as "What 80's Toy Are You?"

According to one State Dept. source, the U.S. has been considering blocking Iran on Facebook for some time, especially after Iran sent it a series of increasingly provocative and annoying event invitations.

"When they invited us to an event called 'Medium Range Missile Test,' that was really the last straw," the source said.

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's response to the U.S. ultimatum came in a terse official statement: "Oy." More here.