Video game-related illnesses: are you kidding me? People are actually taking this seriously. And by people, I mean lawyers who represent clients allegedly suffering from these atrocious afflictions.

Other than an intense strobe light effect (such as that in the Pokémon TV show) that can trigger epileptic seizures, is there any reasonable logic to support investigating video game-related illnesses any further? Some of the symptoms that have been reported and published include repetitive strain injuries, blisters, hemorrhoids, numbing in limbs, muscle stiffness, and vision problems.

Is there any affliction that can't be solved by getting the hell away from the game and walking ones' lazy ass around the block? Problem solved. "Please step away from the game, moron." And don't think you're off the hook just because you're not playing a game right now while reading this. Do me and yourself a favor; look down. If you see fat, shut your computer off and don't come back here until you can sit in that chair without causing it to buckle.

Lawyers will argue that video games are also responsible for mental health issues, which in turn lead to the aforementioned physical illness. The reason lawyers argue this is simply because there's a pot of gold at the end of the loony legal rainbow for them. Prejudiced and uninformed judges and juries will award people huge settlements based on their seeming distrust of corporations involved in industries they are ignorant of. All a lawyer has to do is suggest his client has become addicted to video games, thereby absolving him or her of the ability to simply walk away from it.

So a company is punished for creating a game that captivates players. Somehow, in the perverted world of justice, this isn't even surprising anymore.

Other mental health ailments attributed to video games are delusion, psychosis, social withdrawal, violent tendencies, and attention deficit, to name a few. The good news is that all this negative media hype does not deter real gamers. Social watchdogs and other special interest groups headed by out-of-touch parents and politicians truly believe they are the salvation of society. But they are making a mockery of the justice system and having the opposite effect on the gaming industry. What self-respecting gamer could resist playing a game that was "proven" in a court of law to make you "mental?"

Many people don't take responsibility for their actions, and, as a result, the rest of us suffer as the government becomes the parental figure for the lower common denominator. Perhaps what we need is a two-tiered social structure dictated by IQ levels. The predetermined higher levels enjoy freedom of choice without government interference or regulation. These people can happily enjoy the pursuit of gaming and other "dangerous" activities, like reading novels with swear words in them or learning about crazy scientific theories such as evolution. The others will be under strict government care and relegated to Facebook.

ByCole Smith
SeniorContributing Writer
Date: January 13, 2012

*The views expressed within this article are solely the opinion of the author and do not express the views held by Cheat Code Central.*