An Interview with Santa

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Hey, hear that jingling of sleigh bells? I think I hear Santa Claus coming to town! And just what do you do to make Santa Claus feel welcome? Well, from one of his many helping elves, we have exclusive new information on what Santa loves.

“His favorite thing is fresh baked cookies with a tall, cold glass of milk,” says our little buddy, Fred the elf. According to Fred, Santa has been known to eat 1,000 plates of cookies in one Christmas night! Wow, can you imagine? Fred managed to gain me an exclusive interview with the round-bellied guy himself: Santa Claus!

Me: Is it difficult, reading all the little one’s letters and having to then do some last-minute checks that they got all the presents they wanted?

Santa: No, my dear. I have so many assistants that it’s like a chain reaction: I give one order and five elves are instantly working on it.

Me: Do any companies ever attempt to sue you for building the same things they sell?

Santa: Only once (laughing). It was a cold and snowy morning, and one of my elves, Katie, had been out and about having fun with the doorkeeper, Callie. She came running in, yelling, “Lawsuit! The company that makes jack-in-the-boxes wants to sue us!” I picked her up, twirled her around, and gave her a candy-cane. Then, I set out to see what the problem was. Apparently, no one had been buying jack-in-the-boxes back in the human world because we’d given away too many as presents for Christmas. I told him he was crazy, sprinkled a bit of Christmas spirit on him, and away he flew to his own company building, happy forever.

Me: Wow, that’s so interesting! What is your favorite school subject?

Santa: I don’t know. Maybe… no, I don’t think humans have that class.

Me: Which one?

Santa: Logic! You see, like Mary wants a jumbo sized candy cane which costs $12.95, and you have 12 dollars, 8 dimes and 2 mystery coins, but one of them can’t be a nickel. Do you have enough to buy Mary’s candycane? It will be exact if you do.

Me: Hmmm, I don’t know. I’ll put the answer at the bottom of the article once I figure it out. May I speak with Mrs. Claus now?

Santa: Of course!

Mrs. Claus: Hello, my dear, I’m Mrs. Claus.

Me: Nice to meet you. How do you keep Santa from eating all of the treats you bake?

Mrs. Claus: Simple. I tell him I won’t bake any more sweets for him, so he has to save some so he won’t run out of treats!

Me: Smart! Thank you, Mrs. Claus! Thank you, Santa! One more thing: How many people are on the Naughty List this year?

Santa: (laughing) Only a few. I believe it’s only 100 people, and there are more than 7 billion in the world.

Me: Wow, that’s so cool that the world has been pretty Nice overall this year! So, now you know some of Santa’s secrets. And we’ll be sure to return next year for more fun facts about Santa and his elves!