But now coffee can save your brain. And I don’t know about you, but my brain could use some saving. Here’s the shot: the article says that “Middle-aged people who drink moderate amounts of coffee significantly reduce their risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease.” This came from researchers in Sweden and Finland, the country where I quite want to be. If you drink between three and five cups a day, they tell us, you can lower your chances of Alzheimer’s between 60 and 65%. Now if you drink between three and five, then you’re drinking four–even the English Major knows that. I don’t know why they just didn’t come out and say that. But regardless.

How do we know they know this? Because apparently they were following up with over 1400 people in Finland over the course of twenty-plus years. How does it do this? They think…maybe antioxidants? But they’re not sure. But don’t overindulge because you can hallucinate, apparently–which probably explains why I see so many glow in the dark elves. Oh, and drinking over five cups apparently didn’t add any benefits against dementia.

And now you know. And knowing is half the battle. But the other half is kicking ass.