Wealth psychologists tug at a host of money issues typically avoided by financial advisers. Does it work?

ON A RAINY afternoon in an affluent neighborhood in San Francisco, a small klatch of baby boomers is gathered in a comfortably elegant living room, deep-breathing in unison and wiggling their fingers and toes. For nearly two days, they've been immersed in a workshop run by two veteran therapists—and emotions have been getting intense. One participant, overwhelmed by the discussions, slumps in her chair, complaining of a headache and focusing problems (hence the group's breathing exercise). When a former CEO is guided through a family-history exercise, she discovers a long line of ancestors who were made to feel—cue the aha moment—less than adequate.

The focus of this particular workshop is Money—yes, as in capital M—and the field responsible for it is called wealth psychology. With few traditional financial advisers trained to manage the meltdowns and dysfunction they often witness, these therapists and coaches say they're taking on a larger, more nuanced role in wealth management. "In a family office, executives don't want to get in the center of family-conflict conversations," says Vic Preisser, founding director of the Pasadena, Calif.-based Institute for Preparing Heirs. Instead, he says, they will reach out to skilled specialists in law, insurance or, lately, wealth psychology.

As increasingly frequent collaborators with money pros at family offices, private banks and big firms like Merrill Lynch, U.S. Bank and Wells Fargo's Abbot Downing, these counselors help the high-net-worth set sort through the complex emotions surrounding affluence. "In a world often biased against the wealthy, where not having to work can gnaw at an inheritor's self-worth, it's easy to get tripped up by substance abuse, eating disorders and shopping addictions," says Kathleen Burns Kingsbury, a Massachusetts-based wealth-psychology expert. "Heirs need emotional intelligence." The goal, money shrinks say, is to root out everything from individual self-defeating attitudes to broader family trust and communication breakdowns.

When Wealth Transfers Get Tense

TRUSTLESS TRUST FUNDS:

Heirs with "incentive" trusts often feel powerless and angry for having to jump through education or salary hoops to unlock money. New "financial-skills" trusts ask only for proof of prudent money management.

BUSINESS-SUCCESSION BIAS:

In many cultures, wealth creators still tap first-born sons to run the family firm, which can leave accomplished siblings stewing. In Japan, if there's no qualified son, the family often adopts a nephew to fill the role as successor.

LOVE LOST IN LEGALESE:

Wealth creators often focus so much on protecting assets that their estate documents can leave heirs anxiously guessing about a benefactor's hopes or values. New "purposeful" trusts convey them.

At the San Francisco workshop, run by a coaching practice called the Wealth Legacy Group, the group's co-leader Jamie Traeger-Muney, a clinical psychologist and former family-wealth adviser at Wells Fargo bank, calls money "one of the only taboo subjects in our culture." But that hasn't stopped her field from taking off: Service fees for some practitioners now run as high as $10,000 a day for a coach-facilitated event that might subject extended families to team-building exercises torn straight from a corporate-retreat playbook.

For some wealth psychologists, their role is as simple as sitting in a meeting to observe clients. Marty Martin, a psychologist and financial coach partnering with Aequus Wealth Management in Chicago, watches clients for things they're not likely to admit out loud. A squinched brow may mean they're not understanding an investment concept, for example, while a quietly drawn breath may signal that a recommended saving regimen is unrealistic. Others facilitate family retreats where team-building games might include rope obstacles and blindfolds, says Richard Orlando, a family-wealth coach who founded New Hope, Pa.-based Legacy Capitals after 15 years counseling affluent families at Merrill Lynch. "We work heavily on preparing people for family leadership roles," he says.

Money therapists employ a diverse range of tools. Some try and remove clients' emotional blockages by linking money-related behavior to universal psychological types. (Message: You're not the only person to feel like "the victim" of a prenup, but it's also possible to approach the document as a resourceful "creator" or strong "warrior.") Others draw genograms, a sort of family tree that reveals a client's inherited attitudes and patterns about money. A handful of practitioners even strap clients to a biofeedback monitor—think brainwaves or heart rate—which might reflect fleeting thoughts or subconscious emotions during money discussions.

Kathleen Thurmond had her genogram done after being drawn to the San Francisco "RichLife Portfolio" workshop, in part because she was feeling adrift and struggling to find new purpose after selling her family's uniform-rental and -leasing firm. After the 61-year-old trained social worker and former CEO shared intimate family history, Traeger-Muney diagrammed the emerging patterns. On the positive side, there had been a string of strong, charismatic women; and on the negative, a narrow definition of success. (Pity the poor grandfather who had the musical prowess to tour with John Philip Sousa's band, but was pulled home, miserable, into business.) Walking through her past, Thurmond stumbled into a revelation: Despite her many accomplishments—including taking the business reins after her father suddenly fell ill, pioneering several award-winning environmental initiatives and selling the company for a pretty profit—she never felt what she did was ever enough. The workshop's insights, she says, were a huge relief and helped her re-evaluate "my whole relationship with money. I'm trying to get clarity on how to give it away."

In family-retreat settings, clients sometimes sit through standardized personality tests like Myers-Briggs, or use color-coded labels or cards that display to gathered kin their priority values. (Blue, for example, might signify a reverence for tradition.) The goal of such exercises, say experts, is to identify common values that will guide joint business and philanthropic decisions. It also helps relatives let go of old, negative family labels and see the intangible "assets"—leadership abilities, communication styles—each brings to the family team.

Not surprisingly, money pros who hire psychologists aren't doing it just for the sake of peace, love and understanding. Research shows that more than half of inheritors ditch their parents' financial advisers, making wealth-therapy services crucial to cementing a relationship with heirs. Yet in the quantitative world of currency, money therapy strikes some as a bit too touchy-feely. Why, some critics ask, would anyone see a psychologist their banker recommended? And in a newish field where required certifications are nonexistent and professional training ranges from graduate-level psychology study to a two-day diploma workshop, some say clients should vet coaches as rigorously as they would a financial adviser. "Awareness has grown much faster than training or competence in the field," says Preisser.

Of course, which type of help families choose will depend, to a degree, on whether they see themselves as immobilized by wealth-related, emotional conflict. "Many families don't want to know you're bringing in a shrink—they want to know you're bringing in an experienced business adviser who happens to be a trained therapist," says Sara Hamilton, CEO of Family Office Exchange, a global community for wealthy families and their advisers. "Sometimes they're not ready."

If having money is so troublesome, why not give a big chunk of it to a worthy charity? Not to some over-charging banker/psychologist combo. Volunteer your time and talents as well as your cash. Do useful things for the rest of humanity. And stop being so fixated on yourself and the 'problems' (boo-hoo) of having wealth.

Mary, I don't have personal experience in these matters but I think that if one sibling renounces his or her share of family wealth, they would eventually become estranged from the remaining group. The wealthier siblings would live in better communities, enjoy expensive vacations, have a higher living standard. The one without the wealth couldn't related to this, would eventually feel jealous, and close relationships would likely come to an end.

If this doesn't happen in the first generation children, it would more certainly happen in the following generation. The renouncer's children would be the "poor" cousins, and contact with that side of the family would likely be lost. So there are big consequences to renouncing wealth. The life chances of one's children are put at risk, or diminished. In today's economy, making it on one's own is not such a sure thing.

I never think personally about what kind of people the children of wealthy parents and grandparents actually become. If they descended into being solely focused on society and snobbery, I'd say that was a disasterous result. But government confiscation of wealth is worse. Hopefully the children are instilled to be productive,

Mary, is it their wealth that you don't like, or the fact that they are having family disputes? Any group of people who are forced to remain together can develop internal frictions. The individuals would be fools to leave the family and renounce their share of the wealth. Credit them for trying to work thru it.

As for their wealth, this is the WSJ so you shouldn't be surprised to encounter readers who believe strongly in the American system of wealth creation and sustainment. I am a small investor, and the business success of others is also my success (especially if I am invested in their company). I'd rather see capital remain invested than given away for current consumption.

Its the younger people in this country who are not finding opportunities to begin their careers and lives that I am most concerned about. Wealthy people who keep their money invested in industry and new startups are the ones that are doing good.

My point, perhaps too subtly stated, that a wealth therapist is not great, but a start. The Kennedys would not have listened to anyone, for that matter,nor sought help.

Fleecing the wealthy, compared to the poor, is still that. Bernie did make off with the money. The author of the article did not get it, at least that was my interpretation.

"Most therapy" covers a lot of ground, including "aroma therapy." There are still healthy neurotics (think Woody Allen and lower incomes than him) paying for psychoanalysis. There are a lot of family and life crises where appropriate (big word) can be very instrumental. Figuring what works is not easy.

Harold, I will respond only to your first paragraph (as I have a life apart from these posts.) One need not leave a family in order to renounce a share of its wealth. And, why do you think walking away from money makes one a fool? There is a line the in Ibsen play, "An Enemy of the People" in which the main character says, "I am the strongest man because I dare to stand the most alone."

Renouncing money is hugely liberating. I know for I did it. It tells the purse-string holders that one is not willing to be led around by the nose, with the threat of disinheritance as a punishment. And, in the end, the other party came around, and respected me more for my principled stand.

By the bye, I have nothing against wealth. It's better than poverty. However, in this season it might be good to remember that it is 'the love of money' that is the root of all evil. The love of money, not money itself.

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