Mike you have the strength in you to resist and redirect. Come on dude – use that intelligent, imaginative mind to do something creative. What about your beautiful artwork? Have you done any lately? The praying over your body is a strange thing and yeah you can have any conversation and used any language you want with God…He can take it!

seems you continue to choose to wallow in the misery and the darkness…thanks anyway but I’m not going to join you…I hope you are doing something for yourself like watching a great movie – but something that doesn’t make you pissed or morbid…hey here’s a new one – try picking one out that will make you laugh your ass off? just don’t laugh so hard that you pop that needle out of your neck…

Look, Teresa… I’m not asking you or anybody to join me anywhere. Don’t read it, I don’t care. I’m not going to write a bunch of lies about being happy right now. If I’m down, I write it. If I’m up, I write it. I guess I’m just not strong enough to will my emotions one way or the other. I feel how I feel until it stops. I totally admit that I’m fucked up, and I’m actually scared that I can’t get out of it, but I’ll keep going anyway. Your telling me to be happy isn’t going to make me happy.

no one is asking you to be happy right now and no one is asking you to lie, but you do have choices. Maybe you don’t want to feel peace or be happy…maybe you are actually comfortable in the dark…if you want to feel some warmth in th light you could make the choice to stop making fucked-up choices. A VERY simple start would be to make the choice to watch something funny that you know you’ve enjoyed in the past!It might lift your spirits and it might not but it’s not going to hurt.