Saturday, December 31, 2016

Thank you.
For the hours-long conversations and the late night talks.
For telling me stories from the past and of your childhood.
For telling me about your hopes and dreams.

Thank you.
For taking me to places I've never been to.
For the long drives to beautiful destinations.
For the crazy and fun and spontaneous adventures.

Thank you.
For running with me in the wee hours and for the hearty breakfasts that followed.
For the night runs in the city.
For your unwavering confidence in me in all my races.
For the pep-talk when I was the one losing confidence in myself.
For the support you have given.

Thank you.
For sticking with me in times of trouble.
For never failing to make me smile.
For being there when I thought I had no one.

Thank you.
For the lunch and dinner dates.
For all the time that we have spend together.
For the sunsets and day breaks we've shared.
For the laughter and jokes in between.

Thank you.
For opening your world up to me.
For life lessons your presence brought to me.
For the amazing people I have met through you.
For adding new hues to my already colorful life.
For your existence in my life.

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

I will always lend a willing ear when you need someone to talk to.
I will listen to your stories, even if they may seem mundane to you.
I will give advice, unsolicited or not, whenever you need some clarity.

I will offer my shoulder when you need one to cry on.
I will wipe your tears away.
I will crack a joke, albeit corny, if you need some cheering up.

I will hold out my hand and guide you whenever you feel lost.
I will help light the way if you find yourself walking in the darkness.
I will never make you feel lost or alone.

I will pop open a bottle if you need to get wasted, or if you need to celebrate.
I will always be there to cheer you on your victories.
I will be there to comfort you on your losses.
I will be watching on the sidelines for all the support that you need.

I will follow whenever you need someone to go an adventure with.
I will climb mountains, cross bridges and rivers, and swim open seas with you.
I will be with you to watch the sun set.
I will stay awake with you to until the sun rises.

Monday, December 26, 2016

You will never find someone like me. Someone who patiently listens to all your rants and raves. Someone who will always try to understand. Someone who will never judge you because of your opinions and beliefs. Because I will always always care to listen and listen to care.

You will never find someone like me. Someone who supports your endeavors as much as I do. Someone who will proudly talk about it and promote it among her peers. Someone who listens with genuine interest as you talk about it. Someone who never hesitates to share an idea if it will help its growth. Because to see you succeed in your endeavors would bring me absolute joy.

You will never find someone like me. Someone who's ever so willing to join you in your adventures, no matter how crazy and spontaneous they may be. Someone who can tolerate your somewhat haphazard driving, while it scares most people. Someone who will stay awake with you and resist falling asleep on those long drives so you will have someone to talk to. Someone who will hold your hand as you led them into unfamiliar paths. Someone who is willing to conquer her fear of going to unknown places, if it means spending time with you. Because time spent with you is never a waste of time.

You will never find someone like me. Someone who supports your passion for running as much as I do. Someone who will send you off to your trail races and ultra marathon events. Someone who will cheer you on as you conquer the uphills and the rough roads. Someone who will worry as you run in the dark, even though you do it so fearlessly. Someone who will patiently wait for you at the finish line and happily take your photos as you cross it. Someone who will celebrate with you on your wins and mourn with you on your losses. You will never find someone like me who loves the sport as much as you do, and maybe even more.

You will never find someone like me. Someone who puts your happiness before her own. Someone who will do anything to see you smile even if she feels unappreciated. Someone who smiles when she hears you laugh. Someone who is merely content with seeing you smile even if she gets hurt in the process.

Sunday, December 25, 2016

It's like getting cramps in the middle of a run
You pause for a bit, waiting for pain to subside
And once it does, you find yourself running again but awkwardly, afraid that it might happen again

It's like running an uphill road
You feel your legs burn yet you can't stop
You find yourself in pain yet you know you just have to keep going

It's climbing a mountain and slipping down its slope
You try to stop yet you just keep falling and sliding down

It's like running an ultramarathon on a sprained ankle
Every step and stride hurts like hell yet you know you have to keep going
Because you thought that once it's over, the pain would stop
But that's not how it is
Because even if you cross the finishline, the pain and sprain will linger

It's like getting a tattoo
You feel the needle piercing your skin
Every time it does, you cringe in pain
And once it's over, it leaves you marked for life

That's how it is
It's painful and it destroys you momentarily
And you find yourself in so much pain that you never imagine your body can absorb
The pain will eventually go
But it will leave you scarred forever

Sunday, December 18, 2016

That is how you make me feel most of them time. I do things for you and rarely ask for anything in return, unless jokingly. Because I'm being a good friend. Because I'm being supportive. Because I like to see you accomplish things and it makes me feel proud that you do. Because I like to see you happy. And I'm happy with just a simple "thank you" and acknowledgment of everything I ever did for you.

Yet, you can't even do that. You appreciated other people more. Even those you've known shortly, compared to me who has done so much for you and who has given you support more than anyone else ever did in the past months. And it hurts. It just fucking hurts. You don't know how much but it really does.

Thursday, December 1, 2016

I would stitch up all the holes in the ozone layer
Just so you can breathe easily
So you can finally taste the fresh air

I would shout at all the screaming voices in your head
So I can silence them
And I would shush all the voices in your head
To end the conversations that never happen
Until you hear them no more
Until your head is finally at peace

I would hold your hand so tightly and pull you in on dry land
So I can save you from drowning in your emotions and pain
Heck, I would even build a bridge or a boat for you
So don't even have to worry about drowning
Ever

I would use all my strength to stop the hands of the clock
That never stops ticking from past to present
And even to the unseen future

I would wrestle with the invisible hands that strangle you
And I would fight your battles
So you will finally be free of them

I would douse you with cold water
To stop the fire that burns you from the inside
And I would engulf you in my arms
To make you feel warm when the cold envelops you

Oh yes, I would engulf you in my arms
And hold you so tight
Just to keep you from trembling
Just to keep you stable

About This Blog

The Midnight Journal is a collection of random thoughts that almost always come in the middle of the night. This venue serves as an outlet whenever this overthinking brain of mine could no longer contain them.