Young Women Leaders

Archive for the month “February, 2013”

Woowoowoow, it´s already Thursday???!!! Geezz, where did the time go? I don´t know.

That´s not true, I know where it went. It´s just that because I now have somewhere to live and a job to go to (I start Monday), my brain went blank and I have not done anything else in the past few days than meeting up with friends and frequented second hand stores for furniture. Something I think you all should do! Mother Earth will love you.

Anyhow, if there´s something I would really love to be it is this: funny. I want to be the sharp, wise-cracker making sly comments that are seriously funny all the time. What´s my problem? I´m very self-aware. I´m aware of how I look, walk, sit, talk, and by thinking about all of these things all the time I am for some reason blocking my sharp brain and mouth from making life more fun.

Are you really funny may you ask me? You know what? For your information, my brother told my mom that he thinks I´m funnier than Soran Ismail (Swedish comedian, whom I also know from my time as a student council coolio). That my friends is a compliment. Ok, he´s in my family, but whatevs.

Apparantly becoming funny takes a lot of practice. And since it is not my plan to become a stand-up comedian anytime soon I will lay low on this one. What I will work on will be just talking whenever I feel like I have a joke. It may not be perfect, but since I warned you I expect you to politely laugh. Is it more ok for men than women to be funny? I think so. I´m not going to get into the horribleness of the Oscars (I didn´t watch, just saw the bits and pieces that were horrible the day after), but I was so impressed by the coolness of Jennifer Lawrence. I was also sad to hear the STUPID questions they asked her, but hey, that´s what journalists do, right?

Photo cred: justjared.com

Anyhow, JenLaw is cool because she´s funny, rocking a dress, falling on stairs, never losing her cool, and has some real bite in her responses. Watch and get inspired:

(Photo cred: The “We Accept the Love We Think We Deserve” page on Facebook)
Last night I stayed up way too late making a scarf and watching a movie called “The Perks of Being a Wallflower.” It´s about Charlie, a freshman in high school who is going through tough times and making new friends. I really recommend you watching it because it´s amovie about youth, friendship, growing up and the problems we face. The novel the movie is based on is written by Stephen Chbovsky

The quote that got to me the most was this: “We accept the love we think we deserve.” It´s said to Charlie by his English teacher when he asks why people stay with people that treat them badly. The quote got to me because I believe it´s accurate. So many times I have stayed with someone I think is good for me, but realized that the person doesn´t treat me right, doesn´t challenge me intellectually or doesn´t appreciate me for who I am.

And on the other side, I have left those that were probably the ones that would treat me right, who would love me for me and challenge me in different ways. I´m sure this is the trouble for many people, men and women, but as this blog is for and inspired by young women and their leadership, I will focus on them. When I was in college, I would see so many women (including myself) that were brilliant, smart, edgy, beautiful and caring having relationships with a partner that wasn´t there for them, physically or intellectually. They were giving their all to a partner that wasn´t there on so many levels.

I have seen women support and challenge their significant other in positive ways, just to see them getting close to nothing in return. Is it because we believe that we do not deserve better? I think so, we want so bad to make things work with a person that is just not worth our time or effort, that do not understand the amazingness of our inner self and the people that we are and what we can be.

Think about it today, We Accept The Love We Think We Deserve. And find that person that gives us the love we deserve.

(Photo cred: Svenska Dagbladet)Last night was the Swedish Grammy Awards and group First Aid Kit won 4 out of 6 possible prizes they were nominated for. Yohoo! During one of their thank you-speeches they said the following (my translation from Swedish):

“We have to dedicate this prize to all young girls who dare to go their own way and do their thing and will not get pushed over by all the ideas of how you´re supposed to look”

Way to WIP IT First Aid Kit! It´s important that successful female artists support and encourage other women. Why? Because it means a lot to have support, that there are other successful women out there knowing that it isn´t always easy to go your own way and look the way you want to. First Aid Kit aren´t your “traditional female artists,” they dare to go their own way and to make the music they want to make. It also seems like they have the freedom to look and act they want to, and they do it with honor. I think it is wonderful that they chose to support and put light on young women that do what they want to do.

First Aid Kit consists of the sisters Johanna Söderberg and Klara Söderberg. This is their website: http://thisisfirstaidkit.com/

After attending the annual meeting for Save the Children in Uppsala yesterday, my friend KC picked me up and we went for a drive to the mall. Malls in Sweden are still weird to me, but it is a great way to just stroll around and look at people on a lazy Saturday.

KC bought a pair of wineglasses for a friend, a friend who is 25-something years old (obvi, hence wine glasses). When she is about to get them wrapped by the woman in the store, she asks “Is the present for a boy or a girl?” [LOLZ. Pause to be stunned.] To which KC sharply responds “It´s a really tough chick, so yes, use the black ribbon.” She got a present wrapped in golden paper and black ribbon. I have no idea what the “female” present-wrapping looked like.

I definitely didn´t expect anybody to ask if the person the present was wrapped for was a girl or a boy. Maybe in a toy store, where they stereotype gender, ok. Not in a store for kitchen supplies. Jeezz, why would she ask that question? Ok, so KC bought wine glasses. The person the present was for obviously had to be 18 or older, or else it would be pretty useless. A person that age probably doesn´t care if their present is “wrapped for a girl or a boy.” You know what, I don´t think anybody would care. Especially since baby blue and baby pink was not involved in the equation. Only gold, black and probably potentially some white.

It really makes my day when I hear from you people, when you comment, when you read and appreciate and come with new thoughts. It makes me happy to hear that you are reading and that you appreciate and find what I am writing interesting/good/thought-provoking etc.

It´s in the am here in Sweden and if you didn´t die from sweet overload last night, I hope you´re up and happy, bright and early!

Let´s make a deal, shall we? Let´s make something great out of this day! Think about it, it´s Friday, so you´re probably already in a good mood, will have more patience and more energy today. If you´re not dressed yet, put something on that makes you happy and good about yourself. Treat yourself to a good and healthy breakfast and leave the house in time to enjoy your morning ride/walk to wherever you are going.

Text a friend today, tell them what they mean to you and how happy you are to have them. Run ou ton your break and get some fruit or sweets for the co-workers, just to add some fun to the day. Time to give somebody a call to meet up later? Or invite some people over for dinner, just pick up a few things at the grocery store and get going. Let´s not make it complicated, just good.

Listen to some good songs on the radio or whatever music player you may have. Give yourself time today, and trust in yourself. You will make things happen.

Let´s see if I can write this blog entry without getting lost in translation.

We all want to be liked, right? But do we want to be liked for the the “right” reasons? Why is it so hard to let go of the haters and only care about those who love who you are and what you do? I´ve spent a lot of time worrying about what others may think of me. And then, if I think they don´t like me, what to do to make them like me?

I hardly ever spend time appreciating people that already like me (or at least a lot less). You know, friends and family that are always around no matter what, those that love you for who YOU are. Instead, I´m going over in my head “that person doesn´t seem to be a fan of me, what should I do to make them change their mind?”

GUESS WHAT? There´s really no reason to spend time on those people, because if they don´t like you to begin with, they´re probs not going to like the fake version of you either. And I don´t want to behave like a person that they would like, because it would probably be a pretty lame person. (Since that´s not really me, I mean.)

Think of it, when I am trying to impress a person to want to be with me, I am giving them a person who is not really ME. And maybe they like that person, but then they like a non-existing individual. And if I am liked for somebody I am NOT, then I am wasting my time being with somebody who would rather be with somebody else. And most of all, I am wasting my time being sith somebody who doesn´t like me for me. A so-called Loose-Loose situation.

So from now on, I will not try to be that constantly laid-back, giggly, non-ambitious woman I sometimes think people like. Because if there´s something I have realized, it´s that I´m none of the above. (Well, I´m giggly and laid-back when I WANT to.)

And it may hurt, that it doesn´t work out with somebody (be it friend or partner) just because we´re just not a good fit. But it´s ok to be with those people as well, as long as they like you for you and me for me.

Makeup. I wasn´t allowed to wear it until I was 15, and as the good girl I was, I never even tried wearing it before that special birthday. I wanted to wear make-up at my confirmation (at age 14) but just assumed that I would not be allowed to. My mom later told me that she would have let me, if I would have just asked.

We had a girl in my class that was, shall we call it, well-developed physically and was free to experiment with clothes and make-up. There was no real envy from my side to her, she was an open.minded, free spirit, and I was really just fascinated by her. She did what she liked and felt free enough to create her own style.

Myself, it took me forever to work up the guts to experiment with my looks. Much thanks to my friend Maria, our two 15-year-old selves experimented with yellow and green eye-shadow, lots and lots of black eye make-up and dark nail polish colors. She also taught me that make-up is fun, it is a way to look different and to feel different from time to time. Using make-up lets you get to know your face and your features. (This pic is from a UN party when we were 18.)

Photo cred: Maria (2005)

I once read in a magazine that women are mostly ok with their faces because they get so used to seeing them in the mirror every day. Maybe that should be a trick to try with our bodies?

Anyhow, a problem with make-up is the two signals society sends us: 1) Women should look natural and 2) Women should look pretty.

What does this mean? Well, it means that women should take care of their looks, pay attention to their faces and make sure to “look good.” BUT at the same time, women should look natural and NOT “made-up” aka, other people shouldn´t notice that they are not wearing make-up.

Who hasn´t heard somebody say “I like it when you´re natural” yet at the same time realized that there´s no way he/she means when I am not wearing any make-up at all. No, I should wear make-up in a natural way. “Normal” colors, that makes me look just a tid bit like a better verson of myself.

All in all, wear the make-up you want, don´t be afraid to experiment with your looks. OR don´t wear make-up at all, do as you please. YOU define what is natural for you, and YOU decide for yourself.

Ok, after advice from my friend Al and Swedish blogger Hanapee.com I HAD to watch the Beyoncé Superbowl halftime show. OMG, what a marvellous wonderful powerful woman she is! So professional, so great. I had goosebumps the entire time and I was happy to see that Ms. Knowles had many female musicians on stage, which unfortunately isn´t always the case.

You can´t afford to miss this, watch here:

Also, I love the fact that Beyoncé dresses in a sexy way, she is taking the sexy back and making it her own. She´s not pleasing a viewer (be it man or woman) in her performance, she is doing it for herself. I don´t believe in slutshaming, and Beyoncé clearly doesn´t either. You go girl. AND Ya Look Good!

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About the blog

My name is Hanna and I write this blog about young women´s leadership. If you would rather read the texts in Swedish, I also blog at franckies.wordpress.com, although less frequently.
WIP means Women In Power, and that is what this blog is about, young women in leadership.
Inspiration, comments and discussion is very welcome.