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@Riot: Champion Tags Need to be Updated!

What is up my (bed)fellows of league?New LoL Players (Have no Taste) are in Trouble!
I am here to talk to you about a serious issue faced by our newer players. The problem is that they (refuse my romantic advances) are only able to learn the meta through either painful experiences courtesy of their disgruntled teammates. They may be able to get a better understanding by asking others (out) or researching it themselves, but that means they have to put the (pain of rejection) burden of learning on themselves!

Meta Lurnin' Two Hard! (Just like my trouser Cass)
The meta is confusing and often unclear (talking about more than top/mid/jungle/duo bot here guys!). For us older players, it's not that bad as we've all been through the painful process of (rejection) learning who goes where and why they do. But what if you're a newer player who doesn't understand (what a catch I am) the meta? You might think it's perfectly acceptable to go Poppy Mid or Viktor Jungle (Which are both top tier strategies that will break onto the LCS scene any day now!), until you try it out and get yelled at/reported for (sexual harassment) doing badly. On the player's side of things, this feels awful because you haven't done anything wrong and are (passing up a great opportunity) being treated badly.

How Can We Fix It?
Champions tags are a great place to start! While several of the tags are somewhat accurate, there are many glaring problems. Let's just look at the Jungler and Support tabs. While I will agree that most of the champions under "Jungler" can jungle, there are a lot of champions played in the jungle regularly. Lee Sin, Nocturne, Amumu, Mundo, Jarvin, Nautilus, Xin Zhao, etc.

Then there's the Support tag. While I'll agree that a lot of the champions with the Support tag (are really hawt) can be played support, why does Zilean get a Support tag and Zyra doesn't? Surely Zyra is seen much more often in that role. Or what about Leona/Alistar? Hell, even Pantheon bot gets more play than Support Zilean. The point isn't that Zilean is a bad support (cause bombs are OP dood), it's that other champions who work better in that role aren't given the tag!

Who Cares? I Know Zyra is a good Support, I don't need Riot to tell me
New players care. How are they supposed to know (how I feel?) that Zyra is a strong support? They've never played the game before! They don't know what is strong, weak, hard (me) or easy (also me). They just pick a champion that appeals to them, and go wherever they want. This can have mixed results (often negative if they have no idea where to go/what to do).

What to do about it?
Simply update the champion tags! Perhaps add some new ones as well, such as Mid/Top, Solo laner, or Duo laner. I for one would've had a much better time learning the game if I had (a special someone) known what the meta was.

Too Long, Didn't Read
I have no success with women (or men) and would like someone special in my (trousers) life.