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Getting Past Ugly

If You're At The End Of Your Rope & Need a Knot, Grab On!

This step-by-step guide will show you a way to gain resilience, calmness
and clarity as you navigate safe passage through the universal experience
of custody disputes.

Rose L. Hubbard, who has seen “the ugliest of the ugly” in
her 27 years of family law practice, reveals the good, the bad, and the
ugly about the custody process. Her candid approach helps you recognize
each landmark as it comes, so you can use the information you need at
the time you need it. The four-step Parenting Mantra will help you clarify
and apply essential facts and goals.

“By understanding the custody evaluation process and the factors
that go into a custody decision, you will better understand what you can
do to successfully make decisions for the benefit of your child. You will
learn how to identify what is your issue and what is your child’s
issue, and make decisions that are about your child,” explains Rose.

Driven by a deep sense of compassion and fairness, Rose provides practical
advice, laugh-out-loud stories, and comforting wisdom to protect you from
getting crushed. Through examples and anecdotes, she shows you how to
figure out what’s going on, face the truth, and stay focused so
you don’t feel emotionally devastated.

“At the end of the custody process, you will feel that you made good
choices that benefited your child. You will recognize what you have control
over and what you don’t have control over. You will be a better
parent with a sense of hope, well being, and a better relationship with
your child. Then, you will have created a way of life you can live with.”hyIwrotethisbook

At some point in talking to your friends, your family, your colleagues,
complete strangers telling you about their divorce, they will tell you
that it was “ugly.” What makes a divorce emotionally ugly
is custody disputes. We, as parents, have a great deal of identity and
emotions tied up in our kids. From the time they are born, we want what’s
best for them. And when you get divorced, each parent may have very different
ideas about what is best for your children. That’s where it can get ugly.

Custody disputes are ugly and painful and frightening. No one ever wants
to give up any time with their children. But by understanding what goes
into making a custody and parenting plan, this book can help keep you
focused on what is best for your child, rather than your own fears, anxiety and pain.

I get asked frequently whether it is depressing being a divorce attorney.
After all, a divorce is one of the most painful losses that you can experience,
even more than the pain of losing a family member. As a divorce attorney,
I see the ugliest of the ugly every day. Somewhere along the line, your
life has gotten off track, heading in a direction that you don’t
want to go. But I also see the divorce process and the custody dispute
process as a way to get your life back on a track that is healthy for
you. I have the opportunity to assist in that process in a way that minimizes
the damage to your children.

My hidden client is your child. I assume that you want what’s best
for your child, and you want help to get there. Sometimes custody disputes
are so ugly that people are traumatized for years and cannot get past
their pain and loss. If I can make that process a little less traumatic,
if I can help you build a little more resilience, so that you do not experience
trauma for years after the divorce, then I’ve accomplished my goal
in representing you as a client and in writing this book.

This book helps you learn a process to be better prepared, to be more resilient
going through the process and to transition into a new family structure.
I don’t like the term “broken families.” Your family
is not broken because you are getting divorced. You are restructuring
your family.

Many books on custody disputes focus on either the unrealistic “let’s
just all get along and be happy” approach, or on the “how
to kill your opponent in the battle” approach. This book gives you
information that will help you better communicate what is important to
you about your child and what you believe needs to happen in the best
interests of your child, so that you can navigate an emotionally safe
passage in a practical way.

Tigard Divorce Lawyers

The information on this website is for general information purposes only.
Nothing on this site should be taken as legal advice for any individual
case or situation. This information is not intended to create, and receipt
or viewing does not constitute, an attorney-client relationship.