'councillor Milburn consoles his leader after news broke that councillor Gibson got away with more expenses than he did'

Over the last couple of days Mr Monkey has been having another look at the expenses claims of Laurel and Hardy, the comedy duo who represent the Cleadon and East Boldon Ward, councillors Potts and Milburn.

Armed only with a diary, a calculator and a list of council committee meetings, Mr Monkey has come to the conclusion that Laurel and Hardy have been having a very fine time at the behest of the public purse. Readers will remember that Mr Monkey revealed Dumb and Dumber’s excessive expense claims in a previous post CLICK HERE

The King of Sleaze David Potts accumulated £3116.81 whilst attending the Local Government Association’s “Environment Board”, travelling up and down to London (with the odd overnight stop) via first class rail travel. Over £800 was pocketed claimed largely without the production of any receipts.

Likewise, councillor Milburn the Cleadon Plonky managed to rack up £3129.85, this time via the Local Government Associations “Strategy and Finance Board”. Not to miss out on any free money, £300 was paid out with no proof that it had actually been spent.

Those of you who frequent this site on a regular basis will not be surprised by these figures – councillor Potts has always been top of the class when it comes to sponging a publicly funded jaunt to London, a free bed for the night and a slap up meal to boot. Clearly, he has also created Milburn in his own image, indeed they both love nothing more than a good feed at the pig’s trough at the public’s expense of course.

Whilst their greed may be galling, it’s surpassed by their total disregard for the people who elected them. Over a period of 6 consecutive LGA Environment Board meetings, cpunillor Potts never missed one of them. When it comes to 6 Community Area Forum meetings (the life blood of the councillor/electorate structure) all held within a couple of days of Potts’ trips to London, he managed to attend a grand total of ……0, zero, nil, zilch, none.

Councillor Milburn’s record is equally contemptible. 4 of his LGA Strategy and Finance Board meetings fell on the same day as his local CAF’s – Milburn chose to go to London on all four occasions, spending £1381 instead of representing those who elected him. Over the Council committee period 2008/2009, the 3 stooges – Conservative councillors for Cleadon and East Boldon (lets not forget the Donald Wood) – never managed to attend a CAF meeting as a trio. Pudgy Face Potts didn’t even manage to get his rather ample backside to one meeting, such is his laziness and contempt for the electorate.

So there you have it. When it comes to representing their communities, councillors David Potts and Jeffrey Milburn could not care less and would rather have a free couple of days in London, all paid for from the public purse.

Mr Monkey has this message for all you doubters out there … when you’re sitting in The Cottage or The Red Lion listening to the whines emanating from the mouths of Potts and Milburn as to how their reputations have been besmirched by The Monkey, remind them that all this information has been gleaned from the Councils own internet site. It’s free to use and free to see – the devil is in the detail, however, the devil is never in The Gazette!

In June Mr Maclean made the front page of ‘The Malcolm Fanzine’, or the Shields Gazette as it was known then, after he deliberately encoraged a seagull to attack him by deliberately feeding it a Greggs pasty CLICK HERE.

In a desperate attempt to attract new readers ‘Birdman Maclean’ has spent a week in court listening to the trial of the ‘Whitelees Birdman’ who after a lengthy trial was acquitted of three counts of buying a protected specimen.

Mr Monkey reckons David Maclean is a closet twitcher and loves nothing more than watching the birds. Maybe it’s time he got himself a real hobby or at least a girlfriend.

Local Green Party activists have spent the weekend crying into their organic peppermint tea following the radical decision by it’s members to elect a leader like other parties!

So after years of having one male and one female principal speaker, they have finally decided to take the radical step of electing a single leader.

However, everything is far from rosy in the commune with some prominent hippies members believing the party will lose it’s weirdo appeal fail to maintain it’s ‘refreshing distinctivness’ image and should not have been “sucked in” to having a figurehead like other parties who many people believe are increasingley seen as bunches of liars, hypocrites and suits on the make.

The controversial decision to elect a leader was taken around 12 months ago and this is what former male Principle Speaker, Derek Wall had to say on the subject:

“I do think being called a leader has the potential to corrupt.I have no easy answers, I won’t tell you any comforting lies but I know my history and I can recognise a trap however well disguised. Virtually every radical movement in history has been sucked in and domesticated. Socialism led to Stalin and Tony Blair. The Romans deposed their kings, built a republic and replaced it with empire. Jesus preached humility but under Constantine was used to christen an autocracy. The history of struggle is one of repetition, with radicals bought off, killed off or brain washed into submission. John Prescott used to be a union man; Gordon Brown used to be socialist. Politics can be like a gerbil cage. You go up and up and up to the top slot but with compromises to get their you crash back like the fallen radicals. Green politics cannot fail – we have a world to save. If we win power but at the cost of our ideals, that really would be a catastrophe.”

Just imagine if they had to make a realy important decision like should they or shouldn’t they wipe their arse when they shit. After all the environmental impact of Andrex could be catastrophic for the world!