I like to dress coconuts in infant onesies.I like to dress coconuts in infant onesies.I like to dress coconuts in infant onesies.I like to dress coconuts in infant onesies.I like to dress coconuts in infant onesies.

Will you dress coconuts with me?Will you dress coconuts with me?Will you dress coconuts with me?Will you dress coconuts with me?Will you dress coconuts with me?

Maybe I'm the first person here to say it but I find reading LOLOLOL posts really boring. I have started reading hundreds of LOLOLOL posts of almost identical lengths and probably finished a dozen throughout my life, not including this one.

I find it hard to pick up a LOLOLOL post without immediately engaging a mindset of, "Here's a consumable that some guy has produced to lazily dismiss the parent and/or force a meme. What comfortable fantasy is he creating to enable this?" And that's how my whole reading experience goes. A LOLOLOL post makes no point well which can't be better made with a "your mom" insult. It takes me nowhere without giving me the uncomfortable sense that someone thinks this is where I am supposed to need to be in order to see something false or escape something true. A LOLOLOL post idealises; it romanticises; it preaches. It falls asleep and it dreams. It is a selfish journey away from an argument.

xkcdsucks already has enough that is careless and that is abhorrent - and the truth about how awful it has become is far more challenging to confront. A LOLOLOL post has always seemed like the easy way out.

I'm racist against weaselsoup. I think weaselsoup is an inferior race. I think weaselsoup should go back to her land and never mix her genes with non-weaselsoup persons. I think everyone who disagrees with that (other than weaselsoup) is a traitor against their race.

Well, the metrics for 1140 sucks so much! He missed some really important dates, simply because they have their own name, so that people usually don't say "the 24th December", but Christmas' Eve. The same for Halloween, Thanksgiving and possibly other american holidays I'm not aware of.

The problem with 1139 is thatI didn't realise it was about children until about the third panel, because the child stick figures are drawn almost exactly the same as he adults. That has some worrying implications.

Now he's got me wondering. Having exhausted (hahaha, no) his other forms of latent repetitive mediocrity, has Randall just moved on to new permutations of nonsense to beat into the ground?

It's like Jeph Jacques' formula: Introduce new female character who looks exactly the same as all the other female characters, give her awkward personality quirk, run her through the gauntlet of awkward interactions with all the others, iterate.* Except Randall doesn't have characters. He never did.** Instead he has concepts. Realms of "humor" to draw from.

And now he's just turning the wheel of permutation again to reapply shitty new concept humor to the same tired situations. (**)What "characters" he claims are really just concepts. The surrealist (read: fucking idiot). The black hat (read: now tragically lame asshole). BUT NOW ALL THEIR MEANINGS ARE DIFFERENT!

Beret Hat isn't lolquirky. He doesn't make any fucking sense.

Black Hat isn't assholier-than-thou. He's just deliberately strange. what the fuck is this gothic Marcel Duchamp shit? The only way to twist him into more of a Tragic Prince Forlorn would be to embed 69 Eyes into the fucking webpage. I swear to god, waxing over broken mirrors and outmisfitting some bullies? Next thing you know he'll come out of his shell and win Homecoming King after all.

Lolgraphs.

So he's got me wondering. Will the next one be a new concept he drags across the coals of former success? Or just a bastardization of those same coals, rendering them to ash?

That's not character development. That's shitty material posing as character development.

Maybe I just need to cite His Honorable Jacques some more here, but literally any character that has ever appeared in XKCD could be substituted for Black Hat Child and it would equally hold. I don't expect to discover later that oh noes, black hat kid, you had bullies and now i understand you. Every single person in the xkcd world acts like this. They wouldn't even need to be children. Hell, the bullies could even still be kids, and adult stick figures would still do this.

I am a chemist. The CRC chemistry handbook is full of nothing but numerical tables of physical properties. Even a chemist would think someone who just sat there READING this was a loser. More than a loser: a dangerously ill and possibly moronic individual. I don't care how much you like science, nothing in learning it makes you go "Oh look, the Joule-Thompson coefficients of every diatomic gas, in alphabetical order, what fun!"

Sorry man, but picking on nerds isn't cool anymore. Big Bang Theory put an end to that bad attitude. Nerds are pretty rad folk that like to just sit around reading pure data sometimes, and that's A-OK. Sometimes they even bang above average blond chicks after obsessively doting for a few years. Good for them, I say.

First. Why the bloody hell does this Blog exist? Are you insinuating that a part of your existence is purely used to make ridiculous and downright idiotic comments about a Well respected, creative, funny, and mentally stimulating piece of work? What deserves such ridicule?

Secondly. Does nobody realize that if the humour is to intelligent for you, there's this great thing called Google? I understand the basis for free speech but jesus think before you create you moronic cretin. Following your logic and the logic of this Blog, we should all stop thinking and satisfy our creative desires with Jersey Shore. No intelligence needed.

"Are you insinuating that you eat breakfast?" he cried in outrage as he watched me plunge food into my mouth.

I remained silent and continued to chew, as I prefer not to speak with my mouth full. He watched me for a moment before suddenly crying out,

"Are you insinuating that you chew?" His face was starting to turn red at this point. I do believe he was quite incensed by acts that he perceived as insinuation, but I was unable to to fathom why. I could have asked, but upon finishing my meal I realised I had no time for conversation. I was late for work.

"Are you insinuating that you stand up from chairs?" he screamed in rage as I stood up from my chair. I did paid him little heed and rushed from the room.

I think he tried to follow me, but I was in a hurry and was quickly beyond his reach.

My interpretation of this comic is that Randall found out how to annoy web developers by adding retarded broken HTML to xkcd somewhere and his web developer / sysadmin / person-that-does-all-those-things-Randall-can't-because-he's-too-busy-drawing-a-five-minute-comic-three-times-a-week-and-masturbating-to-lactation-fetish-porn had to fix it and was annoyed at him.

What the hell is this?

Welcome. This is a website called XKCD SUCKS which is about the webcomic xkcd and why we think it sucks. My name is Carl and I used to write about it all the time, then I stopped because I went insane, and now other people write about it all the time. I forget their names. The posts still seem to be coming regularly, but many of the structural elements - like all the stuff in this lefthand pane - are a bit outdated. What can I say? Insane, etc.

I started this site because it had been clear to me for a while that xkcd is no longer a great webcomic (though it once was). Alas, many of its fans are too caught up in the faux-nerd culture that xkcd is a part of, and can't bring themselves to admit that the comic, at this point, is terrible. While I still like a new comic on occasion, I feel that more and more of them need the Iron Finger of Mockery knowingly pointed at them. This used to be called "XKCD: Overrated", but then it fell from just being overrated to being just horrible. Thus, xkcd sucks.

Here is a comic about me that Ann made. It is my favorite thing in the world.

Frequently Asked Questions

Divided into two convenient categories, based on whether you think this website

Rob's Rants

When he's not flipping a shit over prescriptivist and descriptivist uses of language, xkcdsucks' very own Rob likes writing long blocks of text about specific subjects. Here are some of his excellent refutations of common responses to this site. Think of them as a sort of in-depth FAQ, for people inclined to disagree with this site.