2016 Overview

If you add up all the numbers in 2016, you get a 9. While the bulk of my work deals with Uranian Astrology, I know enough about Numerology to understand that Nines indicate the end of a cycle. Whatever it is that you’ve been working toward in this cycle, this is definitely the year your dreams will come true, or not true at all (more on that below).

I have to be honest with you: My writing tone has shifted since I first started this site many years ago, and I lean more towards sarcasm–sometimes even assholery–because I find it rather annoying to read yearly forecasts that sugarcoat and all say the same things in an unctuously positive manner. I’ve also never dated anyone seriously or plan to have a child, so I’m going to bypass all the usual BS about love and relationships. I’ve come to terms with this about myself, and realize I didn’t come here to learn about those things.

Let’s get started.

The first thing you don’t see in the chart above is that the Moon was not void-of-course, since this lunation causes everything to end disastrously (nothing will come of it).

The reason I mention this is because 2014 was a year that began on a void-of-course Moon. If you look back at what happened in 2014, it was probably rather uneventful. I mean, there might have been one or two significant things that happened, but the overall feelings from 2014 are that it was a total waste of time.

2015 had part of the day as void-of-course. There’s no denying 2015 was one of the better years in a while, but it still fell somewhat short. Everything came so close to fruition, only to later realize it’s a total wreck and you need to spend more time perfecting the method.

Mercury Retrograde 2015: “It’ll all go away.”

Ah, yes…

I wasn’t going to talk about Mercury retrograde since I was thinking about doing another post on the transit, but it definitely bears mention, since it’s happening in just a few days on January 5.

Basically, don’t be a dumbass. Avoid doing stupid shit. Trust your instincts. If your life turns into a living hell, learn to embrace chaos.

But seriously. All the above is true.

Jupiter enters Libra: “Pissing away your resources.”

So if I’m going to withhold information about love and relationships, I should at least talk about money and career, since it’s the second main reason people go to psychics in the first place.

Jupiter in Virgo is coming to an end. You’ve probably noticed money has been scarce, and goes out the door as soon as it’s made. I wouldn’t even go as far to describe a paycheck-to-paycheck lifestyle, since this is actually somewhat generous as far as money’s concerned when Jupiter is in Virgo. Your lifestyle was meager in 2015, and so many of your plans had to be cancelled since the money wasn’t there, or you wasted it all at the casino in a desperate attempt to make things happen.

I like Jupiter in Libra. It seems this transit will support more cash overflow and you’ll be able to do the nice things you’ve missed for so long. It’s also conducive to health matters, so it’s unlikely you’ll finish this year with more weight than you started. Just remember to avoid the new $1 cheese sticks at McDonald’s and you’ll be fine. If you’re currently dealing with drug and/or alcohol addiction, expect to see a resolution.

It’s unfortunately not the time to retire. Unless there’s an overlying reason why you have to stop working in 2016, next year is a much stronger time to start a retired lifestyle.

Neptune Square Saturn: “Sometimes you have to go behind the barn and shoot it.”

Neptune Square Saturn is probably the most important aspect in the sky for all of 2016. There are two major contact points in different months in mid to late 2016.

Neptune Square Saturn doesn’t happen all too often because of the distance of these two gas giant planets. If you were born from about 1970-1975, you’re going to feel this transit more than most people.

I’ll go out on a limb here and call this transit “Pluto Light.” It has a lot of similarities with Pluto’s transformative powers, but without all the usual cataclysm associated with Pluto (or Hades).

Whatever dreams you’ve been chasing are finally going to come true. That is, if the other planets in your chart support your goals. When they do, everything will sweep you away and it’s all going to happen in the blink of an eye. Just be sure to avoid doing anything major or rash purchasing decisions in Mercury Retrogrades.

Prince Charming’s dream is to be a film director, but he’s also a gangster rapper. He does the best blackface anyone has ever seen, and his music is bomb (or at least he thinks it is).

Charming would even leave Snow White if it means being in the spotlight.

In Neptune Square Saturn, Charming’s goal pursuits will end in one of two ways:

Charming’s music takes him so far, but he makes other connections and becomes the next Quentin Tarantino.

While looking at job postings one day, Charming decides to pursue his backup dream of being a sex therapist.

2016 will be the time when you’ll be shown the real truth: It’s going to be a definitive yes or no answer, but know it’s going to happen through observation while living your daily life. If it’s a no, you’re going to go behind the barn and shoot it. It’s dead. Give it up.

But don’t off yourself…yet. Give yourself time to pick up the pieces, and you may find you’ve either missed a certain piece of the puzzle, or a completely different opportunity arises.

If you currently have only Plan A, Plan A is likely to happen in some form, but if it doesn’t, the long-forgotten Plan B is your path of choice.

If you have Plans A and B, you’ll know which to pursue, but one of them will definitely die.

Oh, and if you’re going to interpret this section as “Whom shall I choose to get serious with,” all I can say is you’re a fucking idiot and need counseling.

Now that the whole Uranus Square Pluto is FINALLY over, we’re out of the figurative cloud of uncertainty.