Monday, December 08, 2014

The last few months, I have been struggling with some personal issues, that I would love to share with you but I don’t know quite how without sounding like I’m whinging.

My health has worsened. To the point where I’m teetering on the edge of a total breakdown again, this time I’m emotionally stronger. But I’m not sure how long I will be able to last.

My creative impulses are still there but I’m not making anything new, I’m not writing hardly at all, what little creativity that is created is mediocre and not worth anyone’s attention. The new blog lies unused and unappreciated, as I am unable to cope with the level of stress creating a new form for this blog would entail.

The only really worthy creation is my novel, which is right in the middle of publication. Artwork and cover colours are really the only honest-to-good creation I am able to work on, and that is in conjunction with a layout artist and my editor, so my input is minimal.

Unfortunately, I can’t share that with you, not yet, because I’m anxious that the results be seen at their finish rather than half-way through.

Its closing in to the world’s biggest, most expensive festival, Christmas. Something I personal don’t celebrate, so I’m not even doing anything for that. I have a GREAT idea for a homemade decoration that could be customised for every occasion, but even that lies stagnant inside my head as I am too exhausted to even near my sewing machine.

Sometimes, there are moments in life when health, mental and physical have to take precedence over everything else. It seems that if I could just improve a little, I would have the impetus to get back to blogging, creating and sharing the results with you all.

At the moment though, I feel stuck in a rut. As if I had fallen down a deep pit and without a huge shift I can’t get out. No matter how hard I try to pull myself out, to call for help, to see the light I can’t. I merely wear my already worn body out.

So for now, you lovely readers will have to wait it out. I have hope to be able to show you my new book in the next few months.

Saturday, December 04, 2010

This is a post in support of the wonderful "Diary of a Vintage Girl", lately the absolutely gorgeous writer (I say this in pure admiration as a Pin-up fan myself) posted a very sincere and personal blog and I'd just like to give kudos to her. I'm an infrequent blogger, I'm never quite sure who actually reads this and I mostly do it for myself. However I do admire and am inspired by what I think of as "proper bloggers" that post every week and actually talk about something people care about. So, I'd like dedicate this post to her. We live in stress laden days, when everything and anything can affect you so deeply as to knock you off your personal tight-rope. Yes, there are people out in the wide-world suffering starvation, war, disease and other horrific things that are imposed upon us by our fellow human beings, but that's not the point. Being depressed, suicidal or not isn't about what you've suffered, what horrific thing you've been through or not as the case may be, it's about how you feel about it. How you cope with your suffering, how you deal with what has happened in your life or rather how you don't feel your able to cope. Stress isn't about one random and separate event, stress are like bricks on your own personal wall that traps you inside the alcove, they build up, more so if you don't find away to deal with the things that happen in your life. Once they've built up it could be the smallest thing that sends you into total blackness or utter panic. Finding some form, small and meaningless though it may seem, to express yourself is a good way to knock down the bricks and help you understand how and why you feel the way you do. Writing, performance art, music, drawing and painting are but a few of the ways lots of people let out the demons and blow off some steam. If you feel that you've got no one to turn to, how about a spiritual outlet or seeking professional counselling and help? There are many ways and means to find meaning and to understand your feelings. All you need is hope and like the old saying goes "Hope springs eternal", even when you feel hopeless you can still find hope. Its buried deep inside of you, all you need to do is get through one day, and you will find it. The darkness, the blackness like everything in life is temporary. You'll never be consumed by it, not whilst you live and breathe. Every breathe you take is hope, hope you'll take another, hope you'll feel better, hope that the sun will shine down on you. From one sufferer to any others reading this, hang on, just one more day. Every day brings you a little closer to being free from the darkness, to teaching yourself how to avoid building the brick wall.