Flatbacker \FLAT-back-er\ n. Someone who takes advantage of lying around, swilling beer, eating bon-bons and meeting the neighbors while Fantastic Man earns a living. She was a flatbacker. v. to lounge around without a care in the world except clean underwear in the drawers and cold beer in the fridge. She was drunkenly flatbacking.

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Earliness, Elevators, and Eczema

EARLINESS:

Before I forget to admit to this (I promised Fantastic Man, Chris, Jen and Herb I would put this on the website), last week Thursday we went to the Badminton Theater to see "Jesus Christ, Superstar", which, incidentally, I also forgot to review for you. Okay, first the review (from my perspective): It was pretty good. I had forgotten the play was entirely portrayed through song, however. And I enjoyed the second half much more than the first. The production company that brought it here did it a little differently than it's original. If you've seen the original, you know everyone was protrayed as hippies and flower children. This was more industrial/grunge/gothic in costume, setting, and scenery.

Herb had never seen the play, but we were joking around, and I said to him, "You know how this ends, right?", and he says, "Yea, I read the book,". Was funny. (FYI - If you've never seen the play, it ends with Jesus dying on the cross. No resurection scene, just, "It is finished").

ANYWAY, the thing I promised to tell you was I made us all an hour early to the play. You see, I have some kind of mental block when it comes to military time. Now, obviously, I know how it works, but for some reason if you say 21:00 to me, I have to stop and think. . . HARD. . . about what time that actually is. When we originally talked about going to the play, we were going to go on the weekend, and because they do two productions on Saturdays and Sundays, the times are different than during the week. So, on Sat and Sun, the play starts at 8. In HUGE numbers on our tickets, it says 21:00, but me, being military time challenged and basically an idiot, just assumed (and we all know what that means) it was at 8. We raced through dinner (at the Chinese/Greek place in the basement of our building), and because we were walking and didn't know exactly how long it would take to get there, we "lit a shuck"* (explanation on that one in a minute) out of there , and got to the theater at 7:45. There were a few people around, but not many.

When I had went to buy tickets, there were lots and lots of seats available, so at this point I am attributing the lack of people there to two things. 1. The Greeks are inordinately late for everything, and 2. They didn't sell many tickets for the show. Well, Jen and I needed to use the bathroom, which was downstairs where they admit you to the theater, so an usher begrudgingly let us down there, and as we exited the bathroom, we were immediately told by another usher, "You are not allowed down here right now!", so we scampered back upstairs.

But, I'm thinking, "Curtain is in less than 10 minutes, why aren't they seating us?", so Chris goes and asks, and they tell him, "Curtain is at 9 PM,". And, of course, it IS, because that is what 21:00 MEANS! FOOL!

I did this to us in Bali, too. Made us four hours early to the airport instead of two. I am no longer in charge of interpreting military time.

To make up for it, I did buy us all a round of beer to idle away the time. And, in perfect Greek style, the curtain went up at 9:20. . .

*"lit a shuck"- Our dear friend Herb, being from Alabama, is full of southern colloquialisms like this. Apparently, if you are trying to get somewhere in a hurry, or sometimes just leaving someplace, you "light a shuck out of here", or "He lit a shuck home". It comes from "olden days" (READ: pre-flashlights, or cars, or whatever) when they would light a corn husk to see their way home. Anway, he says it occasionally and it never fails to crack me up. Other personal favorites are, "Well, golly-bum," and "diddybop", as in "I diddybopped on over there," (seems Herb does a lot of this diddybopping). Also, Herb never takes or brings anyone or anything anywhere, he is forever "carrying" them or it. As in, "I carried my family out for dinner last night,". Now, I promise, I'm not making fun of Herb, or even of how he talks. I just get a kick out of some of the things that come out of his mouth!

Okay, that was a long and drawn out explanation of being early to the play. . .

ELEVATORS:

We live in a fairly old building, with a fairly old elevator. It is posted on the outside of the elevator and on the inside, not to have more than three people or 250 kg (around 550 pounds for the metrically impaired) in the elevator at a time. Now, in the 7 weeks we've lived here the elevator has been fully operational, as far as we know. HOWEVER, after walking Chris and Jen up to the President's Hotel for their cab ride to the airport at 2 AM on Tuesday morning, upon my return the elevator was broke. Now, we just rode it down not 20 minutes prior. Apparently, us three and their luggage weigh more than 550 pounds (a rather scary thought indeed, I'm blaming it on the olive oil). So, I got to walk up six flights of curving stairs in utter darkness. To the buildings credit, it was up and running when FM left at 7:30 AM for work. Make note of this, future guests!

ECZEMA:

Sometimes I have a slight case of eczema on my index fingers and elbows. Definitely an adult onset thing, and definitely not chronic, but somewhat reoccuring. Obviously, something here in Athens, be it the water, the air, the weather, I don't know, is making it flair up quite painfully on my right elbow.

I went to the pharmacist about three weeks ago, looking for some hydrocortisone cream, as this usually takes care of the problem. The pharmacist (and no, not the HUNKY HUNKY one), told me in Greece they do not sell hydrocortisone, but sold me something different they use for eczema. For about 4 Euro. When I got home, I googled it, and the NUMBER ONE INGREDIENT in it is hydrocortisone. Okay, whatever. But, it hasn't really been working well. So, yesterday, I stopped into a different pharmacy (they are everywhere!) and talked to the pharmacist there (and old, fat man), who recommended Elidel. I go to pay for it, and it was 42 EURO! Golly bum, it better work!

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Who IS this DRUNK Idiot?

THE FLATBACKER Fantastic Man's work pays him to travel the world. He graciously takes me along for (most) of the journeys, and in turn I provide him with maid service, clean laundry, cold beer, and an adequate weekly allowance. . .

2 Big Fat Porkchops with asian coleslaw and garlic mashed potatoes from the Seoul Pub in Itaewon, Korea WARNING: THESE SUCK IT NOW. TOTALLY NOT THE SAME. I'm leaving this up because ONCE they deserved it, but no more.