Corny Preacher Jokes

Break out the can of corn and check out the preacher jokes below. They just come along with the territory and add to the adventures in preaching. It is always good to laugh at ourselves.

Maybe you have a few to add to them!

Hot Air

My preacher friend put sanitary hot air hand dryers in the rest rooms at his church and after two weeks took them out. I asked him why and he confessed that they worked fine but when he went in there he saw a sign that read,

“For a sample of this week’s sermon, push the button.”

The Lost Preacher

A young preacher was contacted by the local funeral director to hold a grave-side service at a small cemetery for someone with no family or friends. The preacher started early but got himself lost, making several wrong turns along the way.

He arrived a half-an-hour late. The hearse was nowhere in sight and the workman were eating lunch. The preacher went to the graveside and saw the vault already in place. Taking out his Bible he conducted the service. As he was returning to his car, he overheard one of the workmen say; “Do you think we should tell him it’s a septic tank?”

Goat for Dinner

A young couple invited their elderly preacher for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having.

“Goat,” the little boy replied.”Goat?” replied the startled man of the cloth, “Are you sure about that?” “Yep,” said the youngster. “I heard Dad say to Mom, ‘Today is just as good as any to have the old goat for dinner.'”

Money for the Preacher

After the church service a little boy told the preacher, “When I grow up, I’m going to give you some money.””Well, thank you,” the preacher replied, “but why?” “Because my daddy says you’re one of the poorest preachers we’ve ever had.”

You Might Be a Preacher If:

You’d rather negotiate with terrorists than the church treasurer.

A church picnic is no picnic.

You’ve ever wanted to fire the church and form a congregation search committee.

You’ve been tempted to take up an offering at a family reunion.

You’ve ever wanted to give the sound tech some feedback of your own.

You’ve ever wanted to lay hands on a deacon, and you weren’t thinking of praying for him.

You often feel like you’re herding mules rather than shepherding sheep.

Your sermons have a happy ending; everyone’s happy when it ends!

It’s your job to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.

Effective Prayer

A preacher’s young daughter noticed that her father always bowed his head and closed his eyes for a few seconds before he went to the pulpit to preach. When she asks him why he did that, he explained,”I’m asking God to help me preach a good sermon. His daughter thought about it for a minute and said, “Well daddy, Why doesn’t he do it?”