Bob the Burglar

My Classic Bob the Burglar Story

Bob the Burglar was one of my clients while I was working at The Little House On the Pavement. Bob needed cash, so he decided to burglarize a local pharmacy. Apparently Bob had some useable skills, because he was able to cut the glass on a window and enter the pharmacy without tripping the alarm system. He wore appropriate gloves and didn’t leave a single fingerprint. In the process of stocking up on saleable commodities, Bob, in due course, found the cough syrup with codeine. I guess burgling goes better with a buzz, because he sampled the contents heavily.

Still, all was going well for Bob until he was ready to leave the premesis. On the way out, rather than crawl through the hole in the window, he decided to use the front door, which tripped the silent alarm. He loaded up his car and drove on home, where he proceeded to continue sampling the products and started re-packaging the merchandise for “retail” sale.

Meanwhile, back at the scene of the crime, the local constabulary arrived in response to the burglar alarm. Under normal circumstances they would have been stymied, as it appeared to be a very professional job with very little physical evidence. However, they were able to take advantage of several quirks in this particular crime.

First, it occurred in a moderate-sized mid-western city without a lot of late-night traffic.

Second, Bob drove straight home through a residential neighborhood to his house which was about a mile away from the crime scene.

Third, it was about 5:00 A.M. on a Sunday morning, and the cops were able to follow Bob’s unbroken set of tire tracks directly from the scene to his house through 2 inches of newly fallen snow, where Bob’s roommate, who knew the house was “clean” when he went to bed the night before, invited the cops into the house and allowed them to search the place.