I'm a transgender girl happily on a journey to looking better, being more feminized and overcoming adversity. Whether in your teens or way beyond, if you’re a transgender girl, this is for you. Like an embassy in a hostile land, this is the place to gain strength, to get empowering information and to belong. I made this place based on what I've learned; I hope it helps you. Welcome home.

Category Archives: Bisexuality

I reached a conclusion today that is likely to greatly change how I spend my time and energy. Here’s the stream-of-consciousness thought process:

I’m bisexual. I have no doubt that I’m sexually attracted to girls, and I have many data points to substantiate that. I’m also attracted to guys. Some of my hottest fantasies and experiences have involved guys … unfortunately. If there were any part of my mental wiring I could change, it would be this. I would re-wire myself to be 100% gay – a totally lesbian girl. In my case, a totally lesbian transgender girl, a.k.a. t-girl. In other words, my life would be a lot simpler if I weren’t attracted to guys, at all.

I’m sure there are some great guys out there. I know this for a fact, because a dozen or so of them are my personal friends. But, as guys go, only a small subset of guys are great guys. And, only a small portion of guys are romantically available at any given point in time. When we combine the scarcity of great guys with the small window of availability time, then we see why the odds of any one girl ending up in a relationship with a great guy is … small.

The bad news for straight or bi t-girls: the subset of great guys who are enthused about t-girls is really, really small. If you begin with a small thing and then take a small portion of that small thing, then you end up with something truly tiny. That tiny thing is the target you’re shooting at when you’re a straight or bi t-girl, trying to end up in a relationship with a great guy. I know. I’ve tried, very hard, over and over, in many different ways – even in many different geographical places, and many different places online, for too many years.

If you’re a straight t-girl, I don’t know what to tell you except that I sympathize.

If you’re bi, then there’s hope for you. Why? Because you can concede that guys are part of your sexual-attraction spectrum while abandoning the entire quest as a losing proposition, after you factor in the minute probability of success. You’ll have better odds trying to win the lottery. Sure, winning would be great, but pursuing it in that context is not logically a good use of your time and energy.

That’s a true statement even if the alternative is enjoying your sexuality solo, but fortunately for bi t-girls who have given up on relationships with males, the planet is populated with billions of really wonderful entities called “females,” a sizeable portion of who make for great relationship material, in and out of bed. If you’re worried about this meaning that there will be one missing ingredient in the bedroom, then go buy some sex toys for mutual use and you’ll soon wonder what you were ever worried about. So, start your bisexual journey with a focus on females, and then because you know you’re bisexual, also honestly try to find some great guys to round out the mix.

After you fail to find any, then “plan B” is to replace your partial focus on females with … a total focus on females. That’s my recipe, anyway. The “plan B” part begins today.

Please don’t take my word for it. Go try to find great guys, until you’ve convinced yourself it’s non-viable (unless it’s not, for you, and you hit the jackpot and find that really great guy, yay!)

From here on, my life is likely to be greatly simplified, yet richer. I feel silly at not having reached this conclusion sooner, but I didn’t want to abandon my focus on guys until I’d given it a really fair chance of success over a long period of time, and with my sincere best efforts behind it. And now, it’s time.