Originally posted by sandinmyears A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says.
The bartender promptly serves up a beer.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
"For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"

Oh!! The other's were funny, though slightly lame...this one's reached new levels of lameness (and is, surprisingly, still funny) .

three women get trapped on desert island. stranded and left to die, their only hope is goldfish they just caught. goldfish says that she normally delivers three wishes, but since three of them caught her, one wish per person.

so the first women says, i want to be smarter. goldfish turns her into female master physicist. then women calculates parabolic trajectory of jump using wooden stick as elevator, and makes parachute having in mind average density of air and calculated drag force. she jumps and succedes to get to land safely.

when second women saw that, she said she wants to be even smarter. goldfish turns her into female master elecric engineer. then she makes power generator with iron core she just digged out and refined from nearby mountian, uses carbon debris to make wireing, and anhoter iron stick as rotor. with her nowledge of electrochemisty she manufactures electrolytic acid and uses it as capacitor that she charges via her generator. she makes a wooden plate and hooks up generator to capacitor, now in the role of electroengine, and connects wooden proppeler to rotor. short burst of current is enough to give enough speed, and with some manual drifting she manages to save herself too.

now the third one, fascinated, says she wants to be smarter than both. goldfish turns her into man, and man crosses the bridge

One day you find yourself lost in mathland again...
You see x walking around and make a talk about the weather. After a while, x2 and ex join you. The conversation moves to more small talk when suddenly 1 comes running by. "The differential operator is coming!" he screams. x and x2 look around nervously and tell you that they have to split.
"What's that all about?" you ask ex. "Oh, that's the diff. operator d/dx, when he gets close he has to act. For 1 it's especially nasty since he will completely vanish and also for x and x2 it's quite irritating." he says. "To me it doesn't matter, however, since I will transform into my old self again.".
And with a "poof" he suddenly vanishes. You here a soft noise behind you and you turn around. "Hi," says the diff. operator, "I'm d/dy."