Admins

Administrators, called admins or sysops for short, are an annoying phenomenon generally found on wikis. They often smellfunny; this is thought to be due to their propensity for eating odd substances such as articles and users. These things are inedible to normal humans, which leads one to the conclusion that admins are not normal, or perhaps not human at all.

If you were to repeat the above in front of an admin, he or she, or possibly it, would most likely eat you. They are constantly hungry and seek out any excuse to eat their chosen food. This is exacerbated by the fact that, rather like vampires, they are unable to eat regular human food and must subsist on other specific things. In fact, recent studies have failed to find any significant difference between admins and vampires aside from the fact that admins spend all their time indoors in front of a computer and prefer eating articles and users to sucking blood.

How these strange, bothersome creatures are expected to effectively manage a wiki is beyond me. All they seem to do is eat everything they find yummy; how could that possibly make for a healthy community, much less a yummy one? Communities have to be yummy to survive, and if the admins eat all the yummy parts the community starts to squish. I really think the best solution to this is to--