Some huckster in Israel claims to have found two old, corroded nails that were used to pin Jesus Christ on the crucifix 2,000 years ago. The huckster, a documentary filmmaker named Simcha Jacobovici, is using his “discovery” of Jesus’ nails to promote a “documentary” he’s putting out that targets the huge, highly gullible Christian Zionist demographic–a demographic whose insatiable demand for religious hoaxes is never matched by the hoax supply side of the curve–especially not hoaxes as clever as this one:

Which raises an important question: What would JC do? With those nails, I mean…

20 Comments

Nice post. Plus just let me say that any fucking idiot who tries posting a comment saying that he prefers Bill Hicks, please delete the fucking idiot and pray he gets cancer. Hicks was just Sam Kinison for middlebrows.

If anyone does actually get to heaven, I have no doubts that it’s people like Kinison.

As for the Jews, their best “friends” in this world are “Christian Zionists”! If that isn’t proof of God collectively punishing the Jews, I don’t know what is.

Advice for Jews: If you are walking down the street and you have a gun with only one round of ammo, and you come upon a Christian Zionist and Hezbollah member, shoot the Christian Zionist and take your chances with the Hezbollah dude.

Simcha Jacobovici’s tv show *Naked Archeologist* is vile likudnik zionist racism dressed up as edgy and cool archeology. He spends 1 minute interviewing a serious archeologist Like Israel Finkelstein or Neil Asher Silberman. Then he creates a lego-animation short put to Benny Hill style music in order to ridicule Finkelstein’s and Silbermann’s actual scholarly research. Once he is done ridiculing the logical and empirical archeology he then goes on to posit that The biblical account of ancient Palestine is exactly accurate. Racist Fuck. 600,000 runaway slave were moping around within a few miles of Egyptian military outposts for 40 years and managed to leave not a potsherd.

Uh, Spidey, show me some cideo clip where Sam does political comedy, and I’ll consider him in the same class as Hicks. More than making a play on the Iran-Contra affair and then delving back into sex jokes. Sam’s great, don’t get me wrong, but c’mon.

16.
darthfader | April 14th, 2011 at 2:45 pm

Come on, finding relics in the Holy Land to fool Christians is a time-honored tradition.

You can’t really blame the guy for doing this or for profiting from it; hell, if I’d known it would work, I’d have tried it myself.

17.
darthfader | April 14th, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Also, I’d like to point out that while routines howling at George Bush over Iraq were suddenly relevant for a good five posthumous years, Bill Hicks sucked and always performed two- or three-joke routines that lasted an hour or more. He could’t end a joke and he never bothered to try as far as I an tell.

He proves that what separates the mediocre (like him) from the greats is that the latter allow themselves to be happy at least a small amount of the time.

Actually watch a live Bill Hicks show on DVD sometime. You will see people moving out of the rows caught on camera, en masse, once he enters minute eight of a given single joke and begins endlessly spluttering the same punchline for the 15th or 20th time. Those people didn’t leave because they were easily offended.

Kinison, on the other hand? I’m not a huge fan of his, to be honest, or anyone else of the “screeching harpy” school of comedy. What’s clear, though, is that he was better than my opinion of him. He could move people in their seats like Hicks never did.

Dudes! NOT crucifix nails. Not at all. Get that idea out of your heads. They were, like, fuckin’ bronze toothpicks left over from the Last Supper. Dessert was Mott’s® prune juice and a nice Baked Alaska with some Ben & Jerry’s ‘nilla.

Иисус Христос! What ignorant fucks.

20.
מלך הרוד | April 16th, 2011 at 11:33 pm

@19

ואתה, אדוני, הם הונאה.

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