Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Winter Storm Maximus has kicked us right in the gluteus.

That's like a post-within-a-post, which is a device similar to the play-within-a-play you'll find in "Hamlet," which was a movie starring Mel Gibson. (I went to a college.) That makes this blog literature, so how you like me now? (Shakespeare actually coined the expression "How you like me now?" Shylock says it in "Merchant of Venice" after busting some sort of move.)

Also, I see the Bicycling column has zero (0) comments on it so far, which means you can be the very first person to log on and call me a fatuous douche-wallah.

Speaking of my formidable artistic abilities, having mastered literature I've moved on to landscape photography, and I've quickly mastered that too:

(How you like me now?)

Seriously, it's got water fowl and everything:

If you'd like to make that image your desktop, simply hit CTRL-Open Apple-Alt-Option-Command with the shift lock turned on, and with any luck your computer won't explode or randomly open browser windows full of live pornography videos playing at top volume, resulting in your immediate ejection from the public library.

Also, you'll automatically be charged $15, but that's a small price to pay for looking at a cold bridge that has been rendered aesthetically pleasing by winter storm Maximus, which is what this last snowstorm was actually called, though I understand the makers of the Maximus Enhancement Cobalt Glider are suing for trademark infringement:

I've been running one of these in my PF30 bottom bracket shell along with a ceramic bearing upgrade and I figure I'm saving at least .00003 watts per kilometer.

Germany’s Marcel Kittel, a member of Team Giant-Shimano who is here for the Tour of Dubai this weekend, told Gulf News: “The most important thing for us young riders is to show that we are different. We need to show that we are here to fight for our voice and that we do not want to be compared to those riders who have cheated or are cheating. We are ready to fight for our idea of cycling and we want to make clear what we want.”

Yeah, right. Save it, haircut. Either this kid is lying, or he's a total dork and the cool kids won't let him come to their doping parties.

Or, even more likely, he's both.

By the way, apparently there's a Tour of Dubai now, which creeps me out in the same way that Bob Dylan Chrysler commercial did.

The most recent study, published in the journal PLoS One and funded by the National Institutes of Health, followed about 56,000 older and middle-aged men. It found that those over 65 had double the rate of heart attacks as did those not taking the testosterone drugs, and that there was a similar increased risk among men under 65 with previous heart disease.
In other words, stick with EPO and ludicrously expensive wheelsets--though Mike Burrows says that, while some wheels can be laterally stiffer than others, they're all equally vertically compliant (or non-compliant):

So if your scranus thinks one set of wheels is smoother than another, apparently it's lying.

Lastly, here's a short news piece about bi-keen in Los Angeles:

And if you needed a reminder why so many drivers suck, here's a guy with a Hyundai who thinks bikes are a problem because he has to open his fucking eyes and pay attention once in awhile:

"Because you always have to make sure you look to the other side because if you're gonna dodge this guy because, um, see you don't wanna do a hit and run? Um, you can also get into a car crash as a result of that."
Putz.

I would comment on your Bicycling columns and call you a fatuous douche-wallah, but last time I tried, I had to log in or something and that would imply I care enough about the rest of their magazine to whore out my information to them for a lousy comment. TH;DC - too hard; didn't comment.

Fatuous Douche Wallah, I have my Ritalin, Low T cream, and something a guy at the gym said was "The Clear". I purchased $2K of specialty riding kit and a Domane Classics Edition road bike. I hired a domestique to carry all the other stuff the guy at the shop said I needed. Am I ready to go on the LBS group ride? Scranus

Thanks for the Russian doll. Wow. It must be very satisfying to have mastered so many disciplines, snobbers. Hats off. Did you go to college or something?

My vulvanus never lies, btw. But I do. Raised by lawyers, it comes naturally... in fact, I am tempted to tell you that I always lie, but the paradoxical nature of that little ditty will have my small and dented brain looping all day long.

Wow! Real girls who ride...Sweet! I would oh so definitely take the soul train to Nona's hood.

yup. don't know there isn't any traffic till I look around and the safest way to do that is to stop. Figure it's good practice. Also, as I have never raced and don't intend to start, there isn't any reason to not stop. Probably slows me down at most 7 or 8 seconds.

The only time I might not stop is if I'm in a group ride. That's because I fear for my life as most of the others don't stop and i have gotten rear ended (wasn't as pleasing as I though it would be).

Is it just my computer, or did everyone else get a message in the video, right about when Roger Rosas is saying he , ummm doesn't wanna do (another) hit and run, that says "How big is your prostrate"???

Hyundai guy is incredibly articulate, I can see why they made him the spokesperson for motorists in the story. Shouldn't there be a minimum IQ requirement to obtain a drivers license. Seriously, doesn't have to be high, it could be like 80. Hyundai guy would still have failed. Putz, indeed.

The biggest part of the problem in Los Angeles is the transportation agency in charge of traffic flow. Their performance is measured by how fast cars can travel in the city.

Those "new bike lanes" are the city using Federal/State funds to restripe streets, making them faster for cars by retiming signals and so on, then add a bike lane to meet the funding criteria. Cars are going faster on their left and the same old opening door dangers on the right.

A 32 keelometer bike train would only get me 90% of the way to work. What do I do then?

robotest: 1904 Cadardi.

Yes it is a real 1904 Cadardi, built by Guiseppe Cadardi in his Sienna workshop, although it was repainted in the 1970's by his grandson Giovanni Cadardi he did use the orginal 1904 Cadardi family paint formula. It still rides laterally stiff and vertically compliant just the way Guiseppe Cadardi intended 110 years ago when he hand mitered the tubes to the sounds of a travelling opera troupe practicing Puccini's Tosca. That's why many 1904 Cadardi's are known as the Tosca bikes, not to be confused with the earlier Pagliacci bikes which always seemed a little funny. No the 1904 Cardardi, the Tosca bikes, are as great as they come.

probably. But I increase the likelihood of actually seeing another vehicle if I stop.

After I responded to babs, I went out to the store (eggplant parm tonight and quiche lorraine tomorrow). Of course in my 4-wheeled crabon generator. On the way there I traveled through a green light. And I slammed on the brakes and swerved to avoid the guy coming the other way making a left turn. He stopped about 1/2 through the intersection. Now he was not at a right angle but coming directly at me when he started the turn. Can't get more visible than that.

"having a little momentum left"

not needed unless you're trying to beat some other vehicle through the intersection.

But hey to each his own. As long as you take the responsibility and don't whine if you get smushed someday when you blew through the stop sign having not seen the 80 ton hummer, I'm OK with that.

I do find it interesting that it seems that lots of bicyclists get really indignant at the way people drive etc while defending the same practices for themselves.

Show me a driver who comes to a complete stop at a stop sign with nobody around, and I'll show you a 90 y.o. who will probably drive through a Dunkin Donuts plate glass window within the next 6 months.

But I have to agree with Spokey. As a cyclist if you're going to cruise through stop signs and red lights when traffic conditions allow, you have to be 99.99% sure of yourself. I use the 'assume everyone speeds and nobody sees me or even bothers to look' rule.

If you cruise a stop sign and base your go/ no go decision on the assumption that all crossing traffic will be traveling at the posted 30 or whatever MPH speed limit and only look that far up and down the road, when that one maniac going 60 or 70 mows you down, it may or may not not be the drivers fault, but you will still be dead. If you're lucky.

OK, a stop sign gedanken experiment (apologies, Roille). Say one of these "appearing out of nowhere" stop-sign-running cars show up when you are (slowly) crossing the intersection on yer bikey? Bet you'd trade a nut for a little momentum at that second.

It ain't about racing or beating anybody, it's about options. I can look just as carefully at an intersection going 5 mph as I can at zero, and have done so without injury for thirty years.

Cd, I agree with you too - shee-it, i'm just agreeable today, I guess. My prior pseudo-rant is not to imply that I don't advocate rolling through stop signs or red lights at deserted intersections, just that for some ijjits it gets easy to slide into habits that JLRB touched on at 3:54.

I always give pedestrians the right of way at intersections, and I obey the rules and stop for other vehicles as any vehicle should, but if I approach the intersection and see that there isn't any traffic, I don't stop and put my foot down.

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About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!