The Most and Least Surprising

I only have room for a certain number of thoughts in my head,
and now I’m carrying two other people’s, too. That’s the deal you make,
when you go around creating people. I’ve read that little bits of fetal DNA
remain in the mother’s body forever. I find this both believable and creepy.
The whole thing is creepy, and I must believe it because I was there
when it happened: Hey, remember the two times my abdomen swelled
just like a spider’s, and eventually I deposited a new human being
on a bed-shaped table somewhere? Those were strange times,
and these are, too, knowing I’ll never do that trick —
the most and least surprising one I have — again.