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Choose Your Own Adventure: The Great (Cinema-inspired) Bank Heist

January 12, 2016

Ever watched a heist movie and thought, “That guy is an idiot” or “Why didn’t he do that instead?” Here is your opportunity to make all the right moves and prove you know better than the average heist movie character. In anticipation of HDNET MOVIES Friday Night Heist lineup this week, featuring Man On A Ledge, The Usual Suspects, 21, and Inside Man, we are bringing you an interactive blog requiring sharp skills and quick decisions. Choose wisely, you will be graded in the end.

You are in debt over your head and need cash, FAST! Your friend tells you he knows a way to do it: rob a bank. Your job as an officer of the law has you twixt in between. Do you choose money or morals?

Money

Your friend introduces you to his team of thieves and explains the plan. Since this is your first heist, you have a choice: Do you act as a lookout or wield a weapon with the crew?

If you chose LOOKOUT, skip to Lookout
If you chose WEAPON, skip to Weapon

Morals

Now that you know the plan, you have to tell your chief. Seeing how you have personal ties to this case, he asks you: Do you want to lead the case or have someone else takeover?

If you chose LEAD, skip to Lead
If you chose TAKEOVER, skip to Takeover

Lookout

The day of the great bank heist has arrived. While watching out for your gang’s safety, you accidentally trip the alarm and the police are quick to the scene. You are face to face with your coworkers, now on the other side of the law. Do you protect your new crew of thieves or surrender to your coworkers?

Weapon

The day of the great bank heist has arrived. When entering the bank, the manager trips the alarm before you can get to him and the police arrive quick on the scene. Do you whip out your gun to protect your new crew or surrender and turn yourself in?

Lead

The day of the great bank heist has arrived and your police force is ready. You allow the robbery to commence, wanting to catch your friend and his crew in action, however your emotions get the best of you and you cannot bear to let your friend take the fall. You rush inside, meeting him head on, and are faced with two choices: Do you let him escape out the back or take him down and arrest him?

If you chose ESCAPE, skip to Escape
If you chose ARREST, skip to Arrest

Takeover

The day of the great bank heist has arrived and you are operating under the chief of police, who has taken over this case. She asks you to enter the building around the back, which is where you come face to face with your friend. He pleads with you not to arrest him, promising to be on the straight and narrow from now on. Do you let him escape or arrest him on the spot?

If you chose ESCAPE, skip to Escape
If you chose ARREST, skip to Arrest

Protect

Putting money before morals at all costs, you stand by your new crew. Thinking you can outsmart the police, you hatch a plan to walk out on a ledge and act as a distraction while your crew gets the cash. Unfortunately, you forget all about your fear of heights and it is only seconds before you hear yourself screaming, “Mommy!” This is both embarrassing and detrimental to your crew, who are now in police custody. But maybe with your police background, you could figure out how to talk yourself out of this?

Grade: D-

You unselfishly tried to sacrifice yourself for your crew, but in the end sent everyone to jail, lost your job, and are most likely facing five to ten years in prison. You’ve become the heist movie character you arrogantly watch and say, “That guy is an idiot.”

Surrender

Opting not to live the rest of your life in prison, you approach your fellow officers, assuming they will welcome your help. It is only seconds before they have you on the ground, handcuffed, and are looking at you as if you were Benedict Arnold. It is in that moment you reflect on your choices in the past week and think, “Maybe I should be more selective with my choice of friends.”

Grade: F

Your ego alone earned you this grade. You selfishly turn your back on your job, fellow officers, and morals. When you are faced with the consequences, you think you can just take it all back? There is reason heist movies don’t have happy endings. We hope you learned this lesson.

Escape

You open the back door, telling your friend to run. You rush towards the front of the bank, where your fellow officers have stormed in and captured the band of robbers. Asking you what you found out back, you respond, “nothing” and let it be. You are now left morally conflicted and still broke, but at least you’re not in prison, right?

Grade: C-

It’s back to ramen noodles, antenna TV, and a life forever tainted by your own corruption. This grade is not so much a reflection of your choices, but rather a pity offering because you don’t need anymore reasons to feel bad about yourself right now.

Arrest

You look your friend square in the face and realize your job and the law are more important than friendship. With one swift maneuver, you take him down and put the cuffs on him. Walking around the front of the bank, you feel confident and morally just. Sure you’re still broke and probably just lost a friend, but who needs money and friendship when you have morals and pride? Plus, maybe the chief will finally notice your worth and give you that raise you know you deserve.

Grade: C+

Your heart was in the right place, but where did it get you really? A pat on the back from the chief, maybe a celebratory meal, and then back to the old bump and grind. Heist movie characters may do idiotic things, but they keep audiences engaged. Take some risks now and then, it will improve your grade…and audience interest.

In need of some redemption from your faulty heist choices? Tune into HDNET MOVIES Friday Night Heist on January 15th showcasing criminals highly deserving of an A+ with a solid “lineup” of films scheduled:

Man On A Ledge – 4:25/3:25c
An escaped con tries to pull off a diamond heist while proving his innocence.

The Usual Suspects – 6:10/5:10c
Five criminals meet at a lineup and the sole survivor recalls the twisty tale.

21 – 8:00/9:00c
MIT students trained to count cards take Vegas casinos for millions in winnings.

Inside Man – 10:05/9:05c
A criminal mastermind tells the story of his “perfect robbery.”

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