Meghan Quinn's tips for earning beads in New Orleans

Meghan Quinn's tips for earning beads in New Orleans

As we head into the weekend, Meghan Quinn, author of Bourbon Sins (formerly known as Becoming a Jett Girl), book one of her Bourbon Series, has some handy tips for anyone hanging out in New Orleans.

Meghan: Here are five ways to earn beads in New Orleans without showing off your maracas:

1. Buy a signature grenade from Bourbon Street for a stranger. The strongest cocktail on Bourbon Street is a city classic that will intoxicate even the most stable liver. From the green long-stemmed container with the “bulbous” (yes, bulbous) and rigid bottom to the long neon green straw, this drink will bring you instant gratification followed by one hell of a hangover the next morning. Any Bourbon Street partier will be more than happy to toss over their beads in exchange for this delightful liquor concoction.

2. Whistle at a lady of entertainment. There are SO many to choose from, you could easily cover your maracas in beads by just whistling your way down Bourbon Street. What is a lady of entertainment? It’s a nicer way of saying, the scantily clad ladies standing outside of strip clubs, waving their tassels around, trying to get everyone and anyone into the club by hooting and hollering, shimmying and making every passerby red in embarrassment from their brazenness, well, the sober patrons of the streets, that is. Give them a little attention and those beads are good as yours.

3. Ride the Trolley through the Garden District with a broom hanging out the window. This sounds odd, I know, but it will work. During Mardi Gras, there are multiple, not just one, but multiple parades that travel all throughout the city. One of the main strips parades like to travel down is St. Charles Avenue, which is where the trolley travels back and forth every day. Instead of looking at all the beautiful and colorful mansions of the Garden District, look up at the wonky trees and power lines, it is a bead-seeker’s gold mine.

4. Freeze yourself. No, not actually freeze yourself, it is New Orleans, the heat and humidity will cut through any kind of icicle you try to turn yourself into. What I mean is join the street performers. New Orleans is the place to be if you want to see street performers test the definition of gravity as they “freeze” in motion. When traveling through Jackson Square, you will run into ladder climbers, Uncle Sam walking a stuffed dog and a plethora of metallic spray-painted people. What do they do? They stand in one position for longer than should be naturally possible and allow tourists to take pictures of them for a tip. If you embark on this endeavor, I suggest buying a great deal of metallic spray paint and making a sign that says, “I freeze for beads.” It will be difficult but so gratifying.

5. Buy a souvenir. This is probably the easiest way to get beads, just go to any corner souvenir shop and buy the biggest set of beads you can find. Don’t worry, bigger beads don’t mean you are overcompensating for something, it just means you have a hell of a set of neck muscles. The gaudier the better! Now, go and make me proud and earn yourself some beads. If you do decide to go the traditional route, remember two things. First, pluck all and any nipple hairs, keep those nips clean and two, glitter up those ta-tas. Tacky? Why, yes, but you are flashing people for beads, so you might as well go all-out. Good luck!!

About Bourbon Sins:

On the streets of New Orleans, sins are committed every night.

My name is Jett Colby and I save tarnished souls.

In the downtown, under the glittery lights of Bourbon Street, I found her in cheap lingerie, flaunting her body for callous men and money.

From the lace of her cheap lingerie, to her garter belt, I knew she had to be saved.

She had to be mine.

Broke and destitute with no way of out, she had no choice but to come to me and into my club.

She had no other choice but to become a Jett Girl.

But see, that’s the thing about this city; you might think that under the dazzling lights and illusion of salvation, she’s the one that needed saving.

When the glitter fades and the dirt is washed away, the one worth saving just might be me.