Insert penises here.
Now that's he's officially not actually crazy or a rapper, Clint Eastwood has been squintily-eyeing Joaquin Phoenix as his boy-toy. It's not what you think, you guys. He just wants to watch he and Leonardo DiCaprio make out a bit. Maybe some ass-play. And he's going to film it. But don't worry, it's totally on the up and up.
Eastwood wants Phoenix to play Clyde Tolson, the rumored lover of J. Edgar Hoover in the Hoover biopic that he is setting up. Neither DiCaprio nor Phoenix have agreed to appear in the film yet (or the ass-play), but how could they turn this down? They sounds like a complex roles in a really interesting film. One that I plan on watching (when my girlfriend is out of town). (Vulture)

Breaking News: Casey Affleck has admitted that his Joaquin Phoenix documentary, I'm Still Here, is fake. Affleck followed that bombshell by admitting that he and Ben Affleck are brothers, and that he really likes Boston. He then went on to give the dumbest quote in the history of man (or in at least the past two days):
&ldquo;I never intended to trick anybody&hellip;The idea of a quote, hoax, unquote, never entered my mind.&rdquo;
Really, that's weird. Usually when I'm lying out my teeth while taking part in an elaborate hoax, it crosses my mind. Then again, I'm not the type of person who says "quote/unquote" out loud, so maybe I can't relate because I'm not a pretentious #sshole. Although I find that hard to believe, considering my love of A Prairie Home Companion…the radio show, of course, not the movie. (NYT via /Film)

Smells like Oscar.
Now that his totally not-staged downward spiral documentary I'm Still Here is playing before audiences, Joaquin Phoenix is ready to get back in the game. He's set to star in Big Shoe, a movie that focuses on a shoe fetishist who is also a talented footwear designer. Which could or could not be gross. On the one hand, it's healthy to be invested in what you do for a living. On the other, I'm proud of that Photoshop I did up above, but I didn't choke-fap while creating it. I save that kind of bahavior for the Girl Gallery. (THR)

We finally have a first look at I'm Still Here, the "documentary" that chronicles Joaquin Phoenix's slow transformation into Zach Galifianakis. Directed by Casey Affleck, we're given a front row seat to Phoenix's imaginary breakdown. Absolutely riveting (in an imaginary way).
The trailer has a pretty cool voice-over. Is that Edward James Olmos? I think it is. If so, somebody get that guy a job selling Ford trucks immediately.
Check it out after the jump…

"You serious, bro?"A little backstory: Joaquin Phoenix went crazy, grew a beard, quit acting, started rapping, and Casey Affleck was there with a camera to capture it all. Online speculation has been that the entire breakdown is fake (and crazy). Now, we will have the opportunity to judge for ourselves this September.Deadline reports that Magnolia has bought the distribution rights to Casey Affleck's I'm Still Here: The Lost Year of Joaquin Phoenix. Or, as it should be called I Get Pooped On: That Time Somebody Pooped On Joaquin Phoenix. That's right. The film is said to include cocaine use, hookers, oral sex with a publicist, loads of full frontal male nudity, and somebody poops on Joaquin as he sleeps. We're not naming any names, but c'mon.

Here's a rumor from the "so stupid it might be true" department. &ldquo;Reliable sources&rdquo; are claiming that rapper Joaquin Phoenix, who actually started out as an actor, may replace Ed Norton as the Incredible Hulk in The Avengers.On Friday, Marvel started a war of words, claiming that it dropped Norton from the project in order to find "an actor who embodies the creativity and collaborative spirit of our other talented cast members.&rdquo; Given that description, is Joaquin Phoenix really the guy you want?Don't get me wrong; I don't doubt the creativity of a man who's spent the past year looking like a drug-addled version of Judge Roy Bean. But considering he can barely make it through a one-on-one interview with David Letterman, does Phoenix really "embody" the "collaborative spirit" you're looking for? Well, does it, Marvel? ANSWER ME? (Cinema Blend)