The Smart Idiot's Guide to College

Many of you will likely be starting college this week, which means that this is the PERFECT opportunity to tell you that you've made a huge mistake. "Whaa??? How??? I thought..." Nope. Sure, college is going to be a fun time, filled with new friends and experiences that will make you a more well-rounded individual. Just know that it's going to cost you probably a quarter of a million dollars for a piece of paper that will only get you a low-paying internship that leads to another low-paying internship that maybe leads to a low-paying job. Shit sucks, I know. Let Above Average cue you in to the real college experience.

My advice, become a famous rapper or pro athlete and line up some solid corporate sponsors. I hear energy drinks pay well.