Boris in shock resignation – urges Cameron to follow

London Mayor Boris Johnson today announced he was to step down from the post with immediate effect. In a move that has left commentators, supporters and opponents stunned, Johnson said “How can I possibly be considered to have a political mandate when only 45% of the electorate actually bothered to use their vote? Millions of hard-working Londoners are affected by my capricious policies and this situation really cannot be allowed to continue any longer”.

As some of the audience at his party’s conference in Birmingham started to wake up and realise that someone was speaking to them, Johnson added “And when one considers that the Conservatives and our coalition partners the Liberal Democrats only received 38% of the vote between us, one has to ask whether Dave and Gideon can possibly continue with their nakedly and blatantly far-right programme of cuts?”