Studies have shown that Hidden Gems of the Week, EW.com’s collection of reader-submitted ridiculata, is the best way to enjoy Dancing With the Stars without ever having to turn it on. It’s a visual feast of sparkles, fringe, and stunning awkwardness. Ready to go down the rabbit hole? Behold this bountiful smattering of Visible Gems!

MOST VALUABLE GEMS (MVG):

“When Melissa was getting her critiques, there were streamers hanging on both of her shoulders looking as though they were multicolored straps for her dress.” –Wiltasaurus, endorsed by Jem H, SunBlitz42, Anthony, MLM
“Tony should just go all out and have his extra smiley and sparkly white teeth encrusted with gems.” –gemtastic 15 and Colleen, endorsed by orville1970, Ryan Lochte, and DonnaW

“I only like the idea of the ‘supersized’ freestyle’ if they are eating burgers and fries while dancing.” –duranmom, endorsed by Fridgedancer, Wiltasaurus, Colleen, fauxbot
“They have those new fancy touchscreen pop machines now that are actually called “Coke Freestyle” machines! So you really truly can actually get a supersized freestyle! In over 100 different flavors! Although sadly it does not dispense glitter and fringe. Yet.” –Jem H

“I must say that Val’s abs get the award for most ‘val’uable gems!” –Colleen, endorsed by Fridgedancer, DonnaW, orville1970, BV, duranmom

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“Everyone was extra jaunty tonight on those last notes of the theme music tonight - at the intro at the beginning Derek did a big kick straight out of Shawn’s chest, Tony did a Midnight Train to Georgia ‘woo woo’ fist pump, and Val did a kick move that almost made him tip over!” –Jem H, endorsed by Wiltasaurus

“HG Nom: Whatever is holding up BBC’s dress.” –SunBlitz42, endorsed by Hattiedog05, gemtastic15
“The gem-encrusted plastic?! The bedazzled boomerang?!” –KimG
“It looks like an upside-down horse collar!” –tango2
“I don’t know what was up with Brooke’s dress, but I’m thinking perhaps she was sporting around her neck the trophy from the newest upcoming show “Horseshoes With the Stars”. It’s a ringer!” –Jem H
“I think it’s made from a shower curtain and leftover mirrorball shards.” –DonnaW
“So Planet Mirrorballus moths eat beading and sequins? Make sense.” –Electronic_Neko
“Could it be that after being on Planet Mirrorballus for so long her skin is changing into the glittery shinny skin of the natives?” –BV

“I bet Derek hated not being in the spotlight at the end of the quickstep. #selfindulgent” –kellen, endorsed by Cindy

NEXT PAGE: The mirrorball on a golf tee is actually ICE CREAM. Iiiiiiiiiiice creeeeeeeeeam….