Power Moves Pulled By The Bachelor’s Juan Pablo

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It’s time for those of you who are too “manly” to hop onboard the FAF bandwagon and tune into “The Bachelor” on Monday nights. This season’s star has become a household name in the most American way possible: by putting numero uno above everyone else, no matter whose heart it breaks. He’s Juan Pablo, and he’s rewriting the book on power moves.

“It’s Okay”

Each season on the show, the Bachelor offers the remaining three contestants an opportunity to stay in the luxurious “fantasy suite.” One of the remaining contestants to spend the night with JP in the fantasy suite was the sexy district attorney from Atlanta, Andi. As the two lovebirds emerged the next morning, Juan Pablo was all smiles, talking about how great the night was–assuming you were amazing is itself a power move. Andi? Not so much. Homegirl had a terrible time, and she accordingly decided to let her cray cray side fly. Like a bat out of hell, she marched toward Juan Pablo to preemptively break up with him.

And then something amazing happened. Instead of responding with regret or vitriol after Andi started attacking him, Juan Pablo instead shook it off like a damn champion. He responded to each and every insult with the most calm, dismissive “it’s okay” imaginable. In three highly captivating minutes of television, a reality TV star revolutionized how to handle a breakup.

There’s only one episode of “The Bachelor” left. I strongly recommend you tune in for one last gasp of television gold. The finale looks promising, too, with ABC hinting that Juan Pablo might end the show unengaged. If that’s the case, it’s amazing. Juan Pablo had his pick of more than 20 gorgeous women, and still might go out into the world more famous, more single, and more ready to mingle than ever. I love it.

You write a scathing, unwarranted column about House of Cards, then turn around a week later to tell us how many power moves you’ve witnessed on the back end? You’re either an idiot or a sadistic, trolling genius. Fuck.