You Are Dumb, which is not a blog, posts new columns when it can manage to in these troubled Trumpian times. It is also a Twitter feed, @youaredumb, with content in a similar vein but much shorter. For a take on what a blog by me would be like, check out OLDNERD.

Nobody talks about Mike Pence. The last thing he did of any consequences was to pretend to go to a football game so he could pretend to spontaneously walk out of it in protest. Then he put on a suit the same color as the wallpaper and has studiously avoided the spotlight.

But Trump’s Transphobic Trial Balloon, leaked this weekend to a New York Times that certainly fails quite a bit, albeit not in the way Trump thinks, has the stench of Pence all over it.

The plan, which would codify gender definition based on external genitalia and a genetic test if necessary, is the absolute perfect storm. It’s a culmination of all the worst things our politics have been building toward

First and foremost, it’s a “culture war” flare gun going off. It’s meant to signal all the social conservatives who can’t help but be a bit troubled that the President they support is a mushroom-dicked adulterer with the moral compass of a Nazi algae bloom that it’s OK because he’ll still hurt people who make you uncomfortable so you’ll feel better.

It’s just a more toxic, virulent strain of the “wedge issue” that gay rights and gay marriage were ten years ago. But since they’e essentially lost the social/cultural fight over gay rights, they’re happy to risk the smaller backlash from attacking the trans community, which is a thing a lot of Boomers still get squicked out by, whether they admit it or not.

Second, it’ll make liberals angry - the only policy goal the Right actually has right now. When you’re trying to portray the “left” as an angry mob, give them something to yell about. But if it’s bait, it’s bait we have to take, because of the third thing.

And the third thing is, this is not a bluff. Mike Pence would joyshit himself into a coma if this went through, and we all know it. This isn’t a fakeout where they propose a thing they don’t really want to do or that they think they can’t get away with in the hopes of gleaning votes just off the proposal. There’s nothing internally stopping them from doing this. Except maybe you, in November, voting out Republicans in such astonishing numbers that there’s either a meaningful political or cultural check on the Republicans.

And yes, Minnesota, that means voting for Keith Ellison for attorney general. I know, but it’s true. His opponent is precisely the kind of shitbag Jesus-freak this Trump trans policy is meant to please. If you think this policy is evil and want to do something to stop it, make sure a guy who loves it doesn’t end up in charge of deciding which laws get prosecuted in this state. This would be valid even if all the worst allegations against Ellison turned out to be true. Primary the fuck out of him next time if you’re still uncomfortable then. Wardlow is a straight up monster who superglued a human mask to his face in the hopes of sneaking past you.

Oh, and a quick note to all the wangweasels out there screaming “THIS IS SCIENCE I THOUGHT YOU LIKED SCIENCE” on social media. This bears the same relationship to “science” as a Schoolhouse Rock about court confirmations does to what happened to Merrick Garland. What you’re peddling isn’t science, it’s an oversimplification of reality peddled to children who aren’t capable of handling the full, true picture. That’s why it appeals to you so much.