Life, Love, and (mostly) everything in between….

I saw a tweet today where someone couldn’t understand why so many think the end of Mass Effect 3 is bad, and they asked for someone to explain it to them. This is my acceptance of that challenge.

Imagine a world where the only Star Wars movies that ever came out were the original trilogy. In this world, there’s no such thing as the Empire or the Emperor. The primary adversary is Darth Vader, who commands the entire fleet, Death Stars, everything. He’s the driving force behind the enemy (Reapers for instance), and Luke is our hero (Shep for instance). This is the story through 2 and a half movies.

Then, suddenly, about halfway through Return of the Jedi they start dropping hints that Darth Vader isn’t in charge. But these hints are so subtle, and few, that they don’t really drive the narrative. Then, in the last 15 minutes of Return of the Jedi, suddenly we find out that Vader is just a puppet. Here’s the Emperor, and he’s untouchable. Our hero can’t fight him. All Luke can do is either:

1) Become the new Darth Vader, and perhaps attempt to use that power for good? Maybe? If he doesn’t end up being controlled by the Emperor in the end? Who knows? Do you really believe the Emperor (Starchild) is honest and trustworthy?;

2) Force every creature in the galaxy to become half Luke and half Darth Vader, without their consent or knowledge or desire (DNA rape in other words);

or 3) Destroy the Death Star and Imperial Fleet, but it ends up destroying some of the Rebel fleet and all their droids as well.

There’s not much of a sense of triumph at the end. No sense of: YES! Everything we’ve been driving towards for two and half games gets thrown out the window, in favor of a completely different narrative that comes mostly out of left field. And WHY?! WHY was this done?! We had a great driving narrative set up already! We are here to chew bubble gum, and kick Reaper ass, and we’re all out of bubble gum! We didn’t need this Starchild pseudo-intellectual bullshit “ending”!

So, yeah, everything we’ve spent so many hours driving towards ends up with…… this?! So the Illusive Man was right all along, and we should control the Reapers? Or we should rape the entire galaxy’s DNA?! Or we should allow EDI and The Geth to die, even if we’re best friends with them?! And we’re supposed to be okay with the fact that the Normandy crash lands on some unknown planet, with perhaps no way of repairing the ship and escaping – plus we don’t know if everyone survived the crash. Why is this awesome? Why is this heroic?

I have absolutely no idea why anyone considers the end of ME3 to be fun, inspiring, or in any other way satisfying. I’m dumbfounded at people who enjoy it, or in any way defend it. It’s the biggest pile of shit of all time. It completely ruins the entire trilogy for me. It’s clear to me that without Drew Karpyshyn’s influence, Mac Walters and Casey Hudson had very little sense of proper narrative design, and cared more about forcing themselves and their philosophies into the narrative instead of allowing the story to tell itself. Would we still be talking about Star Wars, in any positive light, if this is how the original trilogy came to an end?

Another problem I have with it is that it’s not actually an ending. The story doesn’t end; it just stops. There’s a difference to me. There are too many loose ends that are apparently never going to be cleared up. What is the ultimate fate of the Normandy? What about the crew that we don’t see walk out after the crash? What happens to the galaxy now that the relays are destroyed? WTF is the “one last story” about Shep? What is the point of the one breath we hear at the end of the destruction “ending”? Why does this “ending” SATISFY ANYONE who actually takes more than half a second to THINK ABOUT IT?

I hate it when “writers” stop their stories rather than ending them. A story needs a proper epilogue, and ME3 does not provide it at all. If ME4 was supposed to continue this story, then I could forgive most of my issues with ME3, except the Starchild. However, ME1 and 2 were complete stories in and of themselves while ME3 is NOT a complete story. It just isn’t. There are people out there who like to tie up loose ends in their own minds, and there are writers who like that as well. I get it. But that is not a proper story. It shouldn’t be on the audience’s shoulders to decide how a story ends. The story should be allowed to end itself, and the writer is supposed to be the conduit for that. “Endings” like this violate the point of storytelling in my opinion. What is the point of taking someone on a journey that you know doesn’t actually end? It’s just offensive to me as it feels like a purposeful wasting of my time.

Thankfully modders came to the rescue. Because of the following mods, I can play an ME3 that doesn’t suck complete moosecock, although I don’t think that any mod out there can totally heal the damage to the ME narrative structure that ME3 provided. (Actually the damage began with the “Arrival” DLC for ME2, which was complete garbage narrative wise, many “thanks” to Mac Walters for that, although I admit that I did enjoy playing it.) “Backoff”, “Citadel Epilogue Mod”, “ME3 Recalibrated”, “MEHEM”, “Shorter Dreams”, and “Extended Final Anderson Conversation” are the mods I’m referring to.

I wholeheartedly recommend replaying ME3 with them installed. If, after that, you still think the original ME3 is better, then – well all I can say is to each their own. You can live your life, and I will live mine, and never the twain shall meet….

Wow it’s been so long since I posted anything here. I guess I don’t get inspired to write nearly as often I used to. Well, anyway, here it goes.

I play a game called Miitomo, Google it if you want to know more about it. In short, it’s a game that asks you questions about yourself, or your philosophies, so that other people can get to know you via social media in a way that might take years of hanging out in real life – or at least months. At least, that’s what it seems like to me. Anyway – today it asked me this question, and I felt that 180 characters wasn’t enough to appropriately answer it.

“If true love exists, where do you find it?” This is my response.

Romantic love is a binary state of existence. In other words, it isn’t a singularity. It isn’t enough for you to love someone; they have to love you back as well, and with a general consistency in the way that you love them. Love doesn’t perpetuate itself. It requires both people to fully commit and engage for it to work. If only one person works at it, then it’s more about selfishness on one side and obsession on the other. If neither person works at it, then WTF are you doing? See below where I talk about wasting time.

Too many people waste months / years of their life on someone who hurts them (cheaters, liars, abusers – either physically or emotionally or both, or people who just don’t put effort into the relationship) in the name of “love”. You can feel whatever you want to for someone, but if they don’t treat you the same way consistently (no one is perfect, but you know what I mean) then that isn’t love – no matter what you say or think or feel. That’s you being obsessed with what you want the situation to be, rather than recognizing reality, and them taking advantage of you and being selfish, or perhaps them not really caring either way. You can feel free to not appreciate reality, but reality is still reality whether you appreciate it or not.

To find true love, you have to find it in yourself first and foremost. You have to be willing and ready to value someone else more than you value yourself. Only then will it even matter if you’re lucky enough to find someone who is willing and ready to do the same for you. If you ever find that, then you have to treasure that more than gold.

Society is all about “what have you done for me lately”, rather than, “What can I do to make you happy?” True love should be two people who always (or as often as possible – again no one is perfect) ask themselves what they can do to make the person they love happy. That way, both of you are happy as often as possible.

People who understand this concept actually understand love, at least the way I define it. Finding someone who actually understands love almost never happens – at least in my experience. If you find it then I suggest you never let it go, and always do everything you can to best live up to your end of the equation. Again, recognizing that no one is perfect. It’s okay to forgive, but, again, consistency is key here. Someone who loves you will not consistently hurt you, or fall short of treating you the way you treat them. Don’t cheat yourself and make excuses for someone who doesn’t work to treat you the way you treat them.

The movie “Wedding Crashers” has the best all time quote about what true love is: “True love is the soul’s recognition of its counterpoint in another.” Wait until you find that, and you both treat each other with that kind of reverence, and then call that true love. Otherwise, you’re wasting your time. Life’s too short to waste your time. Okay?

Aristotle wrote, “Patience is bitter, but it’s fruit is sweet.” I just saw that quote tonight just as I was searching my soul, the Bible, and the web for encouragement for patience. I was praying about matters of the heart not long ago, and it was like God whispered to my heart, “Be patient….” Some days, most days really, I struggle with that. I was struggling with it tonight and that quote hit my twitter feed. It helped. God is good.

My Mom was texting with me the other day and commented how she knows how much I would like to get married again someday, but I shouldn’t because my “Dream World” life would vanish quickly. She was implying that women can, and often do, suck the life out of their men. Mom says it’s sad but true.

I have a good bachelor’s life. I have a job I love making good, not great but good, money. I have a wonderful, if small, condo in a brilliant neighborhood called Atlantic Station. It’s near the top (one floor down) of a high rise building in which I have a gorgeous view of Atlanta. I have no credit cards. No real debt. I don’t even own a car – I don’t really need one in day-to-day life. Atlantic Station has everything I absolutely need for the day-to-day. Google it. Life is good, and I am blessed. I realize this 100%. However, here is how I responded to her:

“Everything is give and take. I don’t consider my life a “dream world”. I am blessed, but I would trade it all in an instant for a regular house in a regular neighborhood if I were blessed with a great woman and some kids. It would have to be a great woman, though. I pray about it, but I guess we’ll see what God’s plan is for me. In the meantime, I am happy with my blessings right now. It’s just not my ultimate hope or dream.”

So I have many blessings, and I’m thankful for them. I am a lot more blessed than so many other people. But no one cuddles with me in my bed, or looks me in the eyes and says they love me. And I always thought there would be at least one person on the earth by now who would be calling me Dad. I’m going to be 44 in just 5 days. That doesn’t seem possible, but it is.

Anyway – I’m thankful for a lot today. But I’m also here alone, as I always am. God is with me, and I am comforted, but I wish my one were here, who ever she is, to smile at me and whisper that she loves me.

That is what I’m thinking about tonight, as I lay me down to sleep…..

Oh, and one more thing. My stats system is saying that someone in Russia is coming to the blog here everyday. Why would someone in Russia care what I have to say? Leave me a comment sometime and let me know, please.

Technically it’s 10/22, but I haven’t gone to bed yet so it’s still Sunday night to me. Getting ready to do just that – go to bed that is. Starting a new trend for me tonight – Parting Thoughts. Here are my prevalent thoughts for tonight.

I wish life and love didn’t have to be so hurtful, elusive, frustrating, and sorrowful. Happiness is more alien to us than any “other worldly” being could ever be.

Goodnight, goodnight – parting is such sweet sorrow. That I will say goodnight until it be ‘morrow….

Well it’s almost the end of March now, and I’m finally getting to the point where I’m going to finally write this recap, and post my My Beautiful Women of 2011 list. I’ve been really busy. I spent the last part of 2011 playing the Star Wars The Old Republic beta, and then the game itself came out during the last part of December. I was really busy playing that for most of January and February – when I wasn’t working or building the new computer that I built. Then this month I’ve been busy playing Mass Effect 3. So it’s been a busy gaming time in my life lately.

Here’s a quick bullet list of events:

Well it’s almost the end of March now, and I’m finally getting to the point where I’m going to finally write this recap. I’ve been really busy. I spent the last part of 2011 playing the Star Wars The Old Republic beta, and then the game itself came out during the last part of December. I was really busy playing that for most of January and February – when I wasn’t working or building the new computer that I built. Then this month I’ve been busy playing Mass Effect 3. So it’s been a busy gaming time in my life lately.

Here’s a quick bullet list of events:

Playing a lot of Star Wars The Old Republic since December – on the server Whitebeam Run. I run a guild called “Darkening of the Light”.

I was in Princeton for the last week of December, and the first week of January. I spent a lot of time with Mom, as well as with Sheila (who I often refer to as Elisha). Sheila, Trey, and I watched a lot of Doctor Who together. It was a glorious time.

I got a great 1080 HD Canon camcorder for Christmas, along with a Carolina Hurricanes Eric Staal Fathead and an almost 6 foot tall Tardis standee. Kick ass!

I got a bad case of food poisoning from McDonald’s while I was in Princeton. I haven’t had McDonald’s since, and I don’t believe I will be having it again any time soon.

During the Michigan / Virginia Tech game in January, the ESPN announcer said: “Well tomorrow Clemson plays another team from the state of Virginia – West Virgina!” Uh, no, idiot – I promise you that West Virginia and Virginia are *separate* states. He’s not alone in this mistake, though. So many people in Atlanta will say, “Hey, Brian, aren’t you from Virginia?” I’ll respond, “No – WEST Virginia.” Their response? “Ah, same thing!” NO! It’s NOT the same thing! Ugh!

Speaking of the WVU vs Clemson Orange Bowl game, where most everyone didn’t think the Mountaineers had even the slightest hope of winning, WVU completely crushed and embarassed Clemson to the tune of 70 to 33! Let’s Go! ………………….. Mountaineers!

One of my favorite bands, Van Halen, released a brand new album. Although I have always been more of a fan of the Sammy Hagar flavor of the band, I have to admit that I really like this new album. It’s called, “A Different Kind of Truth”, and I highly recommend it. The best songs on it, in my opinion are, “You and Your Blues”; “Big River”; “Tattoo”; “She’s the Woman”; “Blood and Fire”; and “The Trouble with Never”.

I started exercising again, but I’ve been sporatic with it at best. I will eventually lose these 50 or so pounds that I want to lose!

I built a brand new desktop computer that kicks all the ass in the universe – twice! I put a solid state hard drive in it, and it’s so fast that after it POSTs it boots into Windows in about 7 seconds or so. Facebook pictures – click here!

The Giants beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl – again! LOL! Ah man I loved it! I’m definitely not a Giants fan, but I loathe the Patriots and love it every time they lose. 🙂

Mass Effect 3 came out in March, and while the game itself is, for the most part, one of the best games I’ve ever played, the way it was released involves some major flaws and just flat out craziness. I will go into more detail on it in my next post.

Well that’s about all that went on at the end of 2011, and all that’s been going on in 2012 so far. Outside of the daily routines of work and such of course. That’s about all I have to say for this post.

Been busy lately – I will find the time to make a lengthy post to recap later, but I don’t have much time right now. Right now all I want to do is post these two incredible tidbits so that I will never forget them.

Today, two brilliant stars in the sky asked two brilliant questions.

Question #1:

Why is my black and white printer not printing in color?

I am not kidding. Someone actually didn’t understand why this was happening. She was perplexed even.

Answer:

There are two reasons. #1: They call it a black and white printer for a reason. #2: You’re fired.

Question #2:

Why can’t I record my voice on my computer without first plugging in the microphone?

To give this person the benefit of the doubt, we had to find out whether this was a laptop or not – as many laptops have built in microphones. But, alas, he was referring to his desktop. Are you Scotty in Star Trek 4 or something? “Computer…..ah…..computer? We must draw up the schematics for transparent aluminum. Computer?” I can imagine him grabbing the mouse and trying to use it as a walkie-talkie. “Computer? Why can’t you hear me? Computer?” I’m sorry, but you’re fired as well.

It’s been awhile since I wrote because I got caught up in watching scary movies during all my free time. That involved staying up ultra late and crashing right after the last movie of the night. Here I am again, though, and I will try to catch you up on the recent events of life.

But first – an observation. My body is really super efficient at producing gas. I mean – really ultra super efficient. Every frakking thing I eat gives me gas, which often leaves me feeling bloated. Ugh. I’ve tried gas-ex and the like, and they help in some small way. But my body refuses to cease gas production. If I could package and sell my methane, I’m sure I could live off the proceeds for the rest of my life. Hell, I could probably power a small town – like the pigs did in the “Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome” town of Bartertown. Like the dude said in that movie: “Methane cumma from pig shit.” Uh, no, methane cumma from me! Endless and non-stop quantities cumma from me. I haven’t tried Beano yet – I suppose that’s next on the list, but that shite is expensive. I will be ultra pissed if it doesn’t help either. Anyway – this is not new news. Everyone on the Terry side of the family is a master methane manufacturer. It’s just annoying sometimes, and is my random thought for the day. I hope you enjoyed it.

I started doing this so I could remember the little things that happened in any given day a year, a decade, a whatever from now. I suppose it’s not realistic for me to believe that I will definitely make time to do this every day, but still. It’s annoying that the days keep going by and I get more annoyed that I am getting behind. Then I get to the point where the little things start getting fuzzy. Like I said – annoying.

I’ve been all wrapped in DA2 lately – I suppose that’s pretty much all that’s been going on during the past several days. Been texting / chatting with the usual suspects. I haven’t been watching scary movies much like I usually do around this time every year. I’ve seen The Thing (2011), The Thing (1982), Alien, and Aliens. That’s it. Blah on me.

I haven’t been feeling well the past week or so either, but I’ve felt better today than I have in that time frame. I’m looking forward to my physical with my new Doctor on 11/9. I need to know where my blood pressure it at. I need to know where my cholesterol is at. Hell, I don’t even know what my blood type is. I’m going to be 43 soon – one month and one day, man. 43! I need to get on the ball with being more healthy. I have this great insurance. In the 5 years I’ve worked at Turner, I’ve only used my medical insurance once – when I had a kidney stone back in 2010. I should have been having physicals all this time. Anyway – at least I’m going to get it done soon.

My sister in law’s fantasy football team crushed my team this week to the tune of 158 to 211. Ugh. I stayed up until like 9 in the morning on Sunday playing DA2, and didn’t end up watching a lot of football that day anyway. At least DA2 is extremely awesome.

Well that’s all I can think of right now. See what I mean? Not much going on here, really. LOL – maybe it’s my subconscious saying that I don’t wanna remember most of these days LOL. I miss James, Mom, and Lee Jay. I miss Elisha. I can’t wait for Todd to come visit next month. I can’t wait for Christmas time when I go to visit the fam. I can’t wait for TOR to come out in less than two months!

That’s it folks – hopefully there will be more interesting things to remember tomorrow lol. 🙂 Until then, when it’s all After the Fact!

Today was Thursday – 10/20/2011. I have the musical score from the film “Interview with the Vampire” in my head. I love that flick, and the score, by Elliot Goldenthal, is perhaps one of the most perfect movie scores I have ever heard. It evokes the gothic feel of the movie, not to mention Louis’ ongoing sense of horror and loneliness, so perfectly that the movie wouldn’t be the same without it. “Libera Me” is my favorite cue – it’s just absolutely brilliant. It’s also perfect autumn / Halloween music! My favorite time of the year!

Thursday was a cool day, although I didn’t feel well most of the day. I think I have acid reflux disease because I just have constant heartburn sometimes. I’ve always had stomach / intestinal issues all my life though. It’s just annoying. Anyway – had a decent day today otherwise.

Work was decent. I IMd with Mom a lot and picked out the camcorder I want for Christmas. I can’t wait! 🙂 I also chatted with Todd a lot on gmail. He’s planning to come up here in the middle of January for a concert, and I’m gonna go with him. Gonna see Dia Frampton – that will be fun. I texted with Elisha about “how is your day going” kind of stuff. It would have been an overall better day if I hadn’t felt nauseated and heart burned all freaking day long.

Got home tonight and didn’t set up my laptop, and didn’t play any DA2 either. Just layed on the couch and watched DVR stuff. Catching up on TV viewing. South Park was brilliant this week. I needed that laughter.

Well I’m thumbing this on my iPhone and my hands are going to sleep lol. Love this WordPress App though. Laying in bed in the dark and posting this. 🙂