Thursday, October 29, 2015

SIX DAYS OF HALLOWEEN / DAY 4

HOW TO CARVE A SKULL LIKE A PRO!wordz by Alfred Balcon

1- Visit an area to search for a skull - the cemetery is the best place (or the Conservative party's office), but choose a fresh one...
2- Select a healthy skull - avoid choosing a head that is deformed (too small or too big). Don't choose a head with scars or pimples... ARRRGHHH!3- Timing is everything - most skulls will be rotten beyond recovery after a few days. With this in mind, pick up your skull about a week or less before Halloween.
4- Find an appropriate knife/chainsaw - for skull carving, you will need to choose your instrument according to the softness/hardness of your skull. When carving with a butcher's knife, draw the knife back and forth, as if you were sawing through a tree trunk. Sweet...
5- Choose your work area - this is personal. You might decide to do it while watching Walking Dead, Grey's Anatomy or the Ellen Show. Or on the kitchen counter, while your roast beef is cooking in the oven. Anything goes, really...
6- Remove the filling from the skull - this is definitely my favorite part... Use a big spatula to remove all the brain shit from the skull. Scrape it as clean as you can, so that more light will shine through you jack-o-lantern motherfucking skull. Remove both eye sockets to let as much gruesome light make it's way out in this miserable life. Lick the spatula once you are done (just as if it was a pancake mix) and clean carefully all work area once your are finished...
7- Choose a light source to illuminate your open skull and choose a display area to show your art...