Cumbrian town still flooded by journalists

Cockermouth has been staggering under an influx of journalists on a scale never seen since records began in April 2007. The town has almost drowned under a torrent of cliches said to be of ‘Biblical proportions’.

Local resident Carol Smith said: ‘The police and council are doing a great job. But the drone of helicopters overhead and the incessant pressure to supply the perfect quote for reporters to illustrate the human angle in all this has knocked us for six.’

A council spokesman said that once reporting levels fall and the journalist population returns to normal, hopefully the clean-up could begin. He added: ‘It’s just as well we aren’t a close-knit community, otherwise we’d be completely fucked by now.’