Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Potpourri

I must be getting better. Instead of not blogging because the prospect of getting out of bed and going to the computer makes me cry, I'm not blogging because it turns out my employer does, in fact, own me body and soul. Or so they think. I'll be setting them straight a little later on today.

Depending upon how that meeting goes, I may have all the time in the world to blog very soon.

For now, whilst I eat my morning oatmeal and yogurt like a good gym boy, I offer the following bits and bobs.

The Mother's Day Project

Reader Anne, my neighbor to the north in Milwaukee, has begun a collaborative art project to express opposition to our own, dear Mr Bush's little undertaking in the Middle East. I've read her description and find it to be a fine idea. Read for yourself, and perhaps you may be inclined to participate.

Old Yarn

Those nice ladies who run Arcadia Knitting are pulling out all the stops for the shop's birthday week, May 1-6. There's a full calendar on their Web site. I've already missed Point Protector Day and will have to miss Spinning Day because I'm working, but there's still a Norah Gaughan Trunk Show coming up and I rather think I must show up for Book Day.

Fun fact: Kathy and Sharon say they've sold 14,000 point protectors since going into business seven years ago. According to my calculations, if you laid them end-to-end, 14,000 average-sized point protectors would form a line 583 feet long. (Of course, this could never happen. We all know it's impossible to locate two point protectors when you want them, let alone 14,000.)

Schadenfreude Corner

Gym membership: $50/monthNew, smaller Levi's 501s that fit recently refurbished physique just so: $75New heels for favorite cowboy boots: $35Round of drinks for old friends at Charlie's Bar on Saturday night: $35Running into the "younger man" that Mr. Ex dumped you for and realizing he's easily put on forty pounds in the past year: Priceless

I Shall Scream and Rage If I Can't Have One

Stephen Fry persists in ignoring my offers to relocate to Caviar-on-Toast, or whatever English village he lives in, and be his love slave and knit him socks.

However, thanks to this ingenious device I could still live out my fantasy of waking up to his voice purring in my ear. Unfortunately, the Web site does not indicate whether "Franklin, you titan among men, please do that to me again!" is among the pre-recorded sayings.

I admit that installing an electronic man in my bedroom is slightly pathetic; but I've just about had it with the Genuine Article. They should all come with off-switches.

Dolores On the Air

Speaking of flipping men's switches, Dolores asked me to pass along word that she's going to be recording her maiden (?) Podcast as soon as her voice recovers from an accident during rehearsals at the Lucky Horseshoe. Apparently there was a mix-up in the sound booth, and her backup track for "I Would Die 4 Ewe" transposed up three keys and by the end of the release she had shattered a chandelier, the mirror over the bar, 138 beer mugs, and the glass eye belonging to Jimmy, the bouncer. Didn't do her vocal cords any favors, either.

The ENT guy put her on total vocal rest which has made the apartment remarkably quiet. Were it not for the usual aromas of Kookaburra Wool Wash and patchouli, I'd barely know she was here.

As for the note on "priceless" - darlin' I'm right there with you, nothing feels better in that situation. Well, maybe a few things do, but 1) I just know that I don't look good in the orange jumpsuits the county jail hands out - 2) they won't let me take my needles in with me and 3) after getting rid of husband #3, I don't need a "bunk mate" anytime soon, at least not of that variety.

Franklin, I love you! My sincere thanks for plugging The Mother's Day Project. This Administration has done everything possible to prevent us from seeing the extent of the death and destruction they have wrought. Any way - large or small - that we can hold the mirror up to their dark hearts is worth the effort.Thanks, too, to your wonderful readers for their generous responses.

You are responsible for my (doomed) crush on Stephen Fry. Imagine my shock and dismay when I found out that we are "incompatible", if you know what I mean. And now you tease me with the clock. You are a mean, mean, wonderful man.

Perhaps Dolores should have a word with your employer? (Once she's able to speak again)

The Stephen Fry clock is to die for. He definitely needs to do a "madam" version. "Madam, the pool boy has arrived. Shall I put out a towel or your bathing attire?"--Oh, I suppose that could be "Sir" as well...That voice.

DH says that unless that clock reaches out and touches someone (mainly me) really hard, it's just not going to work.

Rochester, NY isn't much of a place, but it does have some decent colleges that might well have something you would be happy at. And we're close enough to Toronto to call it a day trip, if you push it a bit.

I plead utterly guilty to watching the children's show Pocoyo (sadly not available in the US) simply because Stephen Fry is the narrator. It's freaking hilarious.

The way Pocoyo's hatflaps flip up and down according to his emotions is also brilliant, and luckily for me, someone in Canada has created a Pocoyo hat pattern. Which means I shall be knitting one. I wonder if that would get Stephen Fry to come talk to me for a few minutes...

Thank you for the link. And sweetiepie, you're marvelous. Jeans or no jeans.

Seems I'll be ordering my next clock from the UK. I love it. Cannot wait for the Madam version.

Meanwhile, I eagerly await your report on the days meeting. My meeting resulted in a resignation letter -- and more "free time". If you wind up with lots, I'd be honored to host you here in another University town, where I'd plug madly for you with various deparments, and abandon all responsibility to sit and knit int the gazebo by the koi pond.

What can we do to brighten your day? Send me a snail mail, and I'll work on getting pressies in the door...

Franklin, you titan among men, relocate to Perving-on-Blokes, New Jersey, and do that to me again and again, knit socks that I can wear with my motorcycle boots and be my love slave. If you tire of me there is a city just across the Hudson River, full of men ready and willing to do unspeakable things to you for your delectation.

Ill take the oatmeal, you can keep the yogurt..Then again, if its the Yoplait Whips or Custards, I could be persuaded.Did you get my email? I sent it to your photography site, since its about photography? Lately email servers are dropping me into junk mail..

Thanks for the link to The Mother's Day project. I joined almost immediately. So glad to "see" you feeling better and hope all works out as well for you as the gym work outs. Looks as if Karma is catching up with you if the vocal cords of darling Dolores are out of order. VBG. Peace finally? lol

Does that guy in Caviar-on-Toast need a housekeeper? It would be worth it just for the return address labels (snerk). Just found you, now I have to go back and catch up on archives....say, you're in Chicago - could I get you to run over to American Girl Plae and pick me up something? (Oh my DEAR, I am SO not serious!)Your less-far-north Neighbor in WI

Thanks so much for the pointer to the Arcadia Knit Shop. I was in town on business, saw your post and went there on the train all by myself. What a warm and wonderful place, full of great women. Only disappointment was you were not there. Hope your meeting went like you wanted.

We are only going to work on Stephen next visit to Caviar-on-Toast if we can persuade Rupert Everett he is bi-sexual again and his life long companion should be a desperate 17 year old girl .I am horribly sure you've somehow picked up our T.V signal whilst writing this as there's a line in "Another Country" that is suspiciously like the name of your village .So two sad gals watched it 3x this morning?There is a new T.V series with Stephen here we are enjoying and oodles of horrible letters to the media saying that his once comedy partner is doing far better ..so what ! Anyhow I am sure he lives in Norfolk so pop over and start a lovely holiday. Maybe he'd take you out in his Sopwith Camel.angie and Mrs H.B Everett .

Franklin, I just wove in the last end on my rendition of your fabulous "Littlest Democrat" sweater.... I know my sister in law will absolutely love it, but it may get me kicked out of my inlaw's family (which ain't all bad ;)

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