We, as Muslims, should never, ever utter the words that we are better than other Muslims as being told to us in the Qur’an. We are always being advised by the Sunnah and the Qur’an that humility is the best way of life.

[Allah] said, “What prevented you from prostrating when I commanded you?” [Syaitan] said, “I am better than him. You created me from fire and created him from clay.” [Surat Al-‘A’raf (The Heights) – 7:12]

Hence, whenever you say, “I am better than him…” , know that it is the words of Syaitan speaking through you.

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The Prophet SAW said, “The rights of the Muslim upon the Muslim are six.” It was said, “And what are they Oh Messenger of Allah?” He replied, “When you meet him, give him the greeting of peace, when he invites you, respond to his invitation, when he seeks your advice, advise him, when he sneezes and praises Allah, supplicate for mercy upon him, when he becomes ills, visit him, and when he dies follow him (i.e. his funeral).” [Narrated by Abu Hurairah RA, reported by Muslim]

The First Right: “When you meet him, give him the greeting of peace.”
The greeting of peace is a great inducement of love and it will lead us to an increase in faith/belief. And only a Believer will enter Jannah (Paradise).

The Prophet SAW said, “By the o­ne in Whose Hand is my soul, you all will not enter into the Paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love each other. Shall I not direct you to something that if you do it, you will love each other? Spread the greeting of peace amongst yourselves.”

Just imagine that when every Muslim meets another Muslim, he would cheerfully greet with a message of peace. And this is extended to every walks of life, resulting in everyone wishing the best for each other. Surely, that would be a wonderful world to live in, yes? And of course, the one who initiates the greetings is the best.

The Second Right: “When he invites you, respond to his invitation.”
A Muslim is obliged to accept an invitation as it is truly an honor to be invited. Only a valid excuse of greater things may be of exemption from accepting the invitation. And once it is accepted, it is mandatory to fulfil the invitation by attending it. This is a fine way Islam teaching us of forging solidarity.

The Third Right: “And when he seeks your advice, advise him.”
Often enough, a person being asked is revered as having more knowledge. Honor that reverence by properly dispensing advise as if you are the solicitor. If its is worthy of a good cause, advise him to go ahead and do it. If it might bring any harm, advise him against it. Treat the advise with respect, sincerity, compassion and confidentiality. For verily whoever deceives the Muslims, then he is not of them, and indeed he has left off the obligation of being sincere and advising.

The Fourth Right: “And when he sneezes and praises Allah, then pray for mercy upon him.”
The act of sneezing is a blessing and a favor from Allah SWT, in the expelling of congested air that is blocked in certain parts of the body of the human being. Thus, making it easy for this air to have a passage out where it can exit, and thus providing relief.

As such, the Prophet SAW warranted that Allah SWT be praised for this favor, and for his (Muslim) brother to say to him,“May Allah have mercy upon you.” He also commanded the person who sneezed to answer his (Muslim) brother by saying to him, “May Allah guide you and set right your affairs.”

Therefore, whoever does not praise Allah, does not deserve for others to pray for mercy upon him. For he is the o­ne who has caused himself to lose the two blessings: the blessing of praising Allah, and the blessing of his brother’s supplication for him that is a result of the praising.

The Fifth Right: “And when he becomes ill, visit him.”
Visiting the sick is from the best of the righteous deeds. And whoever visits his Muslim brother, he remains engulfed in the mercy (of Allah), and when he sits with him the mercy (of Allah) covers him. And whoever visits the sick Muslim at the beginning of the day, the Angels send prayers of blessing upon him until evening comes, and whoever visits him at the end of the day, the Angels send prayers of blessing upon him until morning comes.

There are certain ‘adab (protocols) when visiting the sick i.e. supplicate for him to be cured, giving him glad tidings of well-being and recovery). Most important is to advise him of repentance and turning to Allah for help to be cured. make the visit short and sweet, long enough to be welcome.

The Sixth Right: “And if he dies, follow him (his funeral).”
For verily whoever follows the funeral until the deceased’s body is prayed over, then he will receive a Qeeraat of reward. And if he follows the funeral procession until the body is buried, then he will receive two Qeeraats of reward. And following the funeral procession contains (fulfillment of) a right for Allah, a right for the deceased, and a right for the living relatives of the deceased.(Translator’s note: A Qeeraat is an amount equivalent to the size of the Mountain of Uhud in Madinah.)

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Throughout the day of every single day, we would not go through it without upsetting (perhaps unintentionally) someone, or being upset by someone. And anger turns into rage, destroying any notion of peace or tranquility throughout the rest of the day. Worst still, those feelings are anchoring itself deep in our hearts and minds, chewing every bit of patience left in us. We become that ugly human being, full of hatred for the people and the world around us.

Yet the Qur’an and the Prophet SAW reminded us many times about the need to offer forgiveness, and we shall be a better person for that.

“Pardon them and overlook – Allah loves those who do good” (Qur’an 5:13)

“Those who control their anger and are forgiving towards people; Allah loves the good.” (Qur’an, 3: 134)

“The good deed and the evil deed cannot be equal. Repel (the evil) with one which is better (i.e. Allah ordered the faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who treat them badly), then verily! he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend.

But none is granted it (the above quality) except those who are patient, and none is granted it except the owner of the great portion (of the happiness in the Hereafter i.e. Paradise and in this world of a high moral character).” (Qur’an 41:34-35)

And the Prophet SAW reminded us of the importance of forgiving and accounts of those who have forgiven and pardoned others.

The Messenger of Allah SAW reported that once there was a merchant who would lend money to people. If he saw anyone in difficult circumstances he would say to his children, “Pardon him his debt, perhaps Allah will pardon us.” Then Allah did pardon him.

Ja’far ibn Muhammad (ra) said, “For me to regret after having pardoned someone is more beloved to me than to feel regret after punishing someone.”

Qatadah was asked, “Which person has the highest standing?” He replied, “The one most abundant in his pardon.”

The Messenger of Allah SAW was seated in a gathering with the Sahabah (companions) when he looked towards the entrance and said, “A man of Paradise is coming.” At that instance someone who seemed to be very ordinary entered the mosque where they were seated. A Sahabi (companion) was curious as to why the Prophet SAW said this, so he followed the man to his house. This Sahabi told the man that he was a traveler and stayed as a guest. For three days the Sahabi saw nothing unusual, so he finally told the man what the Prophet had said and asked him what was so special. The man thought for a long time and said, “There might be one thing — before going to sleep every night I forgive everyone and sleep with a clean heart.”

May Allah SWT provide us with the strength and courage to offer forgiveness for those that have wronged us. May Allah SWT continually extends His Mercy, Grace And Blessings to all of us.

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Reminders from the Qur’an on the tongue, the most potent component of our physical body. Too many regrets have happened due to just a minor slip of the tongue. And some of them are irreparable as the damage has already been done. InsyaAllah, we shall all be guided.

Miracle of the Quran! (Photo credit: Za3tOoOr!)

Speak the Truth – Al Qur’an 3:17

Speak Straight – Al Qur’an 33:70

Speak Justice – Al Qur’an 6:152

Speak Kindly – Al Qur’an 2:83

Speak Politely – Al Qur’an 17:53

Speak Fairly – Al Qur’an 17:28

Speak Gently – Al Qur’an 20:44

Speak Graciously – Al Qur’an 17:23

Speak Not in Vain – Al Qur’an 23:3

Speak No Lie – Al Qur’an 22:30

Feel free to add more and make your comments. Much appreciated if you could rate this post as well. Jazakumullah.

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We are towards the last weekend of the mid-term school holidays (last 2 weeks) and as usual, there have been plenty of marriages being held. Young newly weds looking resplendent befitting the traditional accord given to them as “Kings and Queen for the day”. Plenty of food and the event itself is full of pomp and galore with everyone in their best attire.

It also signals the start of a holy relationship that is blessed by Allah SWT. And each one of them have their roles clearly defined, with rules to obey and guidelines to follow. All of us are quite familiar (as they have been harped often enough) of the roles of the wives but little is being said of the roles of the Muslim husband. Let’s take a look at some of them:

The husband as the provider. Surely everyone knows this but are we really following it? The husband must provide for every expense of the household, including allowances for the wife. It is Haraam for the husband to Not work and live off the wife’s income (if she is working). Islam labels such husbands as cowards. In fact, the wife is entitled to claim allowances during breast-feeding of their child. According to Islam, a woman is not required to work in order to earn her living. Her husband is responsible to ensure a decent standard of living for her according to his means. Even when a woman is richer than her husband, her wealth does not deprive her of the right to be supported by him. If he takes advantage of her wealth in order to leave his duty unfilled, without having first secured her consent to this arrangement, then he is accountable for his misdeed. It is open to her to seek divorce on grounds of her not being supported by her husband. An Islamic court will have no hesitation to issue an order nullifying the marriage if the husband will not honour his responsibility.

The Prophet(Sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) said,

“The best of you is the best one to his family.” [Al-Tabarani]

To share food with her, to provide her with (decent) clothes as he provides himself, to refrain from smacking her, and not ignoring her but in the house. [Ahmad]

”A Dinar (a currency) that you spend on your family, a Dinar that you spend on a poor person and a Dinar that you spend in the sake of Allah. The one that carries the most reward is the one that you spend on your family.” [Muslim]

”Know that no charity that you give whether small or large, for the sake of Allah, but you will be rewarded for it, even the bite (of food) that you put in your wife’s mouth.” [Bukhari & Muslim]

From the Qur’an:

“…and if they suckle your (offspring), give them their recompense… And if ye find yourselves in difficulties, let another woman suckle (the child) on the (father’s) behalf.” (65:6)”

The Husband shall not hit the wife. Physically abusing the wife is NEVER permitted in Islam. Hitting a wife is only permitted under extreme circumstances and it is more accurately described as a gentle tap on the body, but NEVER ON THE FACE, making it more of a symbolic measure then a punitive one.

Men are the protectors and maintainers of women. because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband’s) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part you fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next) do not share their beds, (and last) beat (tap) them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance): for Allah is Most High, Great (above you all). (4:34)

The permissibility of such symbolic expression of the seriousness of continued refraction DOES NOT IMPLY ITS DESIRABILITY. In several hadith, Prophet Muhammad SAW discouraged this measure.

“Do not beat the female servants of Allah;” “Some (women) visited my family complaining about their husbands (beating them). These (husbands) are not the best of you;” and “[It is not a shame that] one of you beats his wife like [an unscrupulous person] beats a slave and maybe he sleeps with her at the end of the day.” (Riyadh As-Saliheen, p137-140).

“…How does anyone of you beat his wife as he beats the stallion camel and then he may embrace (sleep with) her?…” (Sahih Al-Bukhari, vol.8 hadith 68, p42-43).

The Husband is to do all the household chores. All the chores of the household are under the responsibility of the husband, and that includes washing clothes and cooking. If he is unable to do so, a maid/servant must be provided for the wife. The wife is to be relieved of such duties so that she can fully prepares herself to serve the husband. The wife’s duties do not require her to feed her child, nor even to nurse it, nor to clean nor cook. It is the husband’s duty to provide a nursemaid, food for older children, and servants to clean and cook. However, if the wife does those things out of mercy and love, it is a gift to the husband on her part.

And lastly, some advises to Husbands:

Jabir narrated that the Prophet, peace be upon him, gave these instructions in his sermon during Farewell Pilgrimage: “Fear God regarding women; for you have taken them [in marriage] with the trust of God.” [Mishkat]

Narrated Aisha, God’s messenger said: “Among the believers who show most perfect faith are those who have the best disposition, and are kindest to their families.” [Tirmidhi]

Narrated Abu Huraira, God’s messenger said: “The believers who show the most perfect faith are those who have the best disposition and the best of you are those who are best to their wives.” [Tirmidhi]

Aisha has related that the Holy Prophet, peace be upon him, would enter the house with a pleasing disposition and a smile on his lips. [Uswa-i-Hasana]

Narrated Al-Aswad: “I asked Aisha, `What did the Prophet, peace be upon him, do at home?’ She said, `He used to work for his family and when he heard the call for the prayer, he would go out.'” [Bukhari]

Narrated Abu Huraira: “Allah’s Apostle, peace be upon him, said, `The woman is like a rib; if you try to straighten her, she will break. So if you want to get benefit from her, do so while she still has some bent.'” [Bukhari]

Narrated Abu Huraira: “The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, `Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, should not hurt (trouble) his neighbour. And I advise you to take care of women, for they are created from a rib and the most crooked portion of the rib is its upper part; if you try to straighten it, it will break, and if you leave it, it will remain crooked, so I urge you to take care of women. [Bukhari]

Narrated Abdullah bin Amr bin Al-As: “Allah’s Apostle, peace be upon him, said, `O Abdullah! Have I not been informed that you fast all the day and stand in prayer all night?’ I said, `Yes, O Allah’s Apostle!’ He said, `Do not do that! Observe the fast sometimes and also leave them at other times; stand up for the prayer at night and also sleep at night. Your body has a right over you and your wife has a right over you too.'” [Bukhari]

Narrated Ibn Umar: “The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, `All of you are guardians and are responsible for your wards. The ruler is a guardian and the man is a guardian of his family; the lady is a guardian who is responsible for her husband’s house and his offsprings; and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your wards.”

Men should forbear any shortcomings of women in view of the following verse of Qur’an:
“Live with them in kindness; even if you dislike them, perhaps you dislike something in which God has place much good.” (Qur’an, An Nisaa : 19)