From: Jason Heltebridle (helterbs@bellsouth.net)
To: root@attrition.org
Date: Mon, 17 Jul 2006 23:26:14 -0400
Subject: Plead for Mercy
Listen guys I am so sorry that I pissed you off but its not Jason but
me "Sandra Monday" that has been fucking everything up. I am so
ignorant about how to use the e-mail, that I kept copying and pasting
your address, I once had corresponded with a dude there that was cool,
see I was concerned about child pornography because I had a new baby
in the house and I just found out a roommate of mine was into that
kind of thing by accident and had to involve the police to get him out
of my house so I kind of went into overdrive. I am in a sort of spoken
word experimental punk band and I was sending announcements to
everyone in this huge list I never even checked half the time. Jason
did not even know I was doing it I swear on BASIC), or that I was
using his e-mail address as I was too stupid and computer illiterate
to open my own account anywhere. I am an idiot and a blonde, I am
female and clueless and I fucked up bad I admit. This guy I
corresponded with was Phantom phlux and he was really nice, little did
he know I was a complete moron. I throw myself on your complete mercy
to remove my friends addresses from your forum. If you give me this
little crumb I make it my sincere pledge that I will be more careful
about who I am fucking with in the future, even if on accident. The
news articles were me too, I get drunken biases on current events.
Sincerely,
Sandra Lee Monday (A real person)

From: lyger (lyger@attrition.org)
To: Jason Heltebridle (helterbs@bellsouth.net)
Cc: root@attrition.org
Date: Tue, 18 Jul 2006 19:39:25 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: Re: Plead for Mercy
On Mon, 17 Jul 2006, Jason Heltebridle wrote:
": " Listen guys I am so sorry that I pissed you off but its not Jason but
": " me "Sandra Monday" that has been fucking everything up. I am so
": " ignorant about how to use the e-mail, that I kept copying and pasting
": " your address, I once had corresponded with a dude there that was cool,
": " see I was concerned about child pornography because I had a new baby
": " in the house and I just found out a roommate of mine was into that
": " kind of thing by accident and had to involve the police to get him out
": " of my house so I kind of went into overdrive. I am in a sort of spoken
": " word experimental punk band and I was sending announcements to
": " everyone in this huge list I never even checked half the time. Jason
": " did not even know I was doing it I swear on BASIC), or that I was
": " using his e-mail address as I was too stupid and computer illiterate
": " to open my own account anywhere. I am an idiot and a blonde, I am
": " female and clueless and I fucked up bad I admit. This guy I
": " corresponded with was Phantom phlux and he was really nice, little did
": " he know I was a complete moron. I throw myself on your complete mercy
": " to remove my friends addresses from your forum. If you give me this
": " little crumb I make it my sincere pledge that I will be more careful
": " about who I am fucking with in the future, even if on accident. The
": " news articles were me too, I get drunken biases on current events.
": "
": " Sincerely,
": "
": " Sandra Lee Monday (A real person)
Hi Sandra,
Thanks for your email. As you read my reply, please picture me (as much
as you can), with my head tilted slightly to the right, squinting my right
eye, and occasionaly scratching behind my left ear with my left index
finger...
The incident you describe above has clearly upset you. I would guess that
a few of your friends have contacted you and discussed the fact that their
email addresses appear on our "Going Postal" page, shown here:
http://attrition.org/postal/z/032/0838.html
Actually, I can understand your concern. If you are, as you admitted,
someone who is "ignorant about how to use the e-mail," then mistakes will
happen from time to time, and we generally try to be understanding about
such matters. That said, dealing with an issue such as pornography can
also be upsetting, so again I find your concerns valid. You know, I do
remember this one email we received a while back that crystallizes your
thoughts almost exactly:
http://attrition.org/postal/z/023/0364.html
See the similarities? The author of the second link's email is also
"computer illiterate", is concerned about pornography, is into politics
and social messages, and *gasp*!! is also named "Sandra Lee Monday" !!
How totally awesome that you have someone out there JUST LIKE YOU !! Now
keep in mind that the second link's email was from 2001, almost five full
years ago. However, your most recent email tagged your name as (A real
person), where the email from 2001 had a tag of (yes my real name I will
not hide in fear). Not quite the same, but close enough for rock and
roll, wouldn't you say?
To put a fine point to this blunt situation, you've been "computer
illiterate" for five years. I'll stop short of calling you an idiot, but
being female and clueless, yes ma'am, I'll concur. The blonde part
interests me. "Sincere pledges" are nice and all, just not quite enough
to convince. So here's my offer, should you choose to consider it:
1. Make a sign that says "i'm m4d h0t for attrition.org"
2. Strike your most suggestive pose (clothes optional, but *not* preferred)
3. Hold up that sign, take a *clear* picture, and mail it to
root@attrition.org.
Quid pro quo, Agent Monday. Quid pro quo.
Lyger