Pauline Phillips, adviser to millions as Dear Abby, dies

New York Times

Updated 11:19 pm, Thursday, January 17, 2013

Photo: JOHN GAPS III, AP

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** FILE ** Advice columnist Ann Landers, right, and her twin sister Pauline, who also wrote an advice column as Dear Abby, are shown in a file photo from June 1986, at their 50th high school reunion in Sioux City, Iowa. Landers, whose snappy, plainspoken and timely advice helped millions of readers deal with everything from birth to death, died Saturday, June 22, 2002. She was 83. The death of Landers, whose real name was Esther Lederer (born Esther "Eppie" Friedman), was announced by the Chicago Tribune, publisher of her column. According to the Tribune, Landers died of multiple myeloma in her Lake Shore Drive apartment.

** FILE ** Advice columnist Ann Landers, right, and her twin sister Pauline, who also wrote an advice column as Dear Abby, are shown in a file photo from June 1986, at their 50th high school reunion in Sioux

This undated handout photo courtesy of Universal Uclick shows Pauline Esther Friedman Phillips, who founded the most widely syndicated column in the world, the "Dear Abby" advice column, in 1956. Pauline Phillips, who consoled millions around the world as the creator of the iconic Dear Abby advice column, has died at the age of 94, her syndication service said January 17, 2013. In a statement, Universal Uclick said Phillips -- who wrote Dear Abby from 1956 until her daughter Jeanne Phillips formally took over the column and her alias Abigail Van Buren in 2002 -- died Wednesday in Minneapolis, Minnesota. She had fought "a long battle" with Alzheimer's disease, it said. "I have lost my mother, my mentor and my best friend," Jeanne Phillips said in the statement. Phillips, born Pauline Esther Friedman, was the twin sister of Esther Pauline Friedman, better known as the equally famous agony aunt Ann Landers. She died in 2002 after she was diagnosed with cancer. = RESTRICTED TO EDITORIAL USE - MANDATORY CREDIT " AFP PHOTO / UNIVERSAL UCLICK/" - NO MARKETING NO ADVERTISING CAMPAIGNS - DISTRIBUTED AS A SERVICE TO CLIENTS =
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This undated handout photo courtesy of Universal Uclick shows Pauline Esther Friedman Phillips, who founded the most widely syndicated column in the world, the "Dear Abby" advice column, in 1956. Pauline ... more

Photo: HO, AFP/Getty Images

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FILE - In this Feb. 14, 2001 file photo, Pauline Friedman Phillips, right, the nationally-syndicated advice columnist best known as "Dear Abby," and her daughter Jeanne Phillips, pose after the dedication of a Dear Abby star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in Los Angeles. Phillips, who had Alzheimer’s disease, died Wednesday, Jan. 16, 2013, she was 94. Phillips' column competed for decades with the advice column of Ann Landers, written by her twin sister, Esther Friedman Lederer. Their relationship was stormy in their early adult years, but later they regained the close relationship they had growing up in Sioux City, Iowa. The two columns differed in style. Ann Landers responded to questioners with homey, detailed advice. Abby's replies were often flippant one-liners. (AP Photo/Reed Saxon)

FILE - In this Feb. 14, 2001 file photo, Pauline Friedman Phillips, right, the nationally-syndicated advice columnist best known as "Dear Abby," and her daughter Jeanne Phillips, pose after the dedication of a

FILE - In this Feb. 14, 2001 file photo, "Dear Abby" advice columnist Pauline Friedman Phillips, 82, known to millions of readers as Abigail van Buren, signs autographs for some of dozens of fans after the dedication of a "Dear Abby" star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in Los Angeles. Phillips, who had Alzheimer’s disease, died Wednesday, Jan. 16, 2013, she was 94. Phillips' column competed for decades with the advice column of Ann Landers, written by her twin sister, Esther Friedman Lederer. Their relationship was stormy in their early adult years, but later they regained the close relationship they had growing up in Sioux City, Iowa. The two columns differed in style. Ann Landers responded to questioners with homey, detailed advice. Abby's replies were often flippant one-liners. (AP Photo/Reed Saxon)

FILE - In this Feb. 14, 2001 file photo, "Dear Abby" advice columnist Pauline Friedman Phillips, 82, known to millions of readers as Abigail van Buren, signs autographs for some of dozens of fans after the

Dear Abby, aka Pauline Phillips, gets a kiss from Dick Guttman after receiving her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in front of the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel, February 14, 2001. Pauline Friedman Phillips, who as Abigail Van Buren - "Dear Abby" - for more than 40 years dispensed advice to newspaper readers worldwide on everything from snoring spouses to living wills, died Wednesday. She was 94. (Carolyn Cole/Los Angeles Times/MCT)

Dear Abby, aka Pauline Phillips, gets a kiss from Dick Guttman after receiving her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in front of the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel, February 14, 2001. Pauline Friedman Phillips, who

Advice columnist Ann Landers, left, and her twin sister Pauline, who also wrote an advice column as Dear Abby, are shown in a file photo from Dec. 1987, in Chicago. Landers, whose snappy, plainspoken and timely advice helped millions of readers deal with everything from birth to death, died Saturday, June 22, 2002. She was 83. The death of Landers, whose real name was Esther Lederer (born Esther "Eppie" Friedman), was announced by the Chicago Tribune, publisher of her column. According to the Tribune, Landers died of multiple myeloma in her Lake Shore Drive apartment.

Advice columnist Ann Landers, left, and her twin sister Pauline, who also wrote an advice column as Dear Abby, are shown in a file photo from Dec. 1987, in Chicago. Landers, whose snappy, plainspoken and timely

FILE--Abigail Van Buren, better known as Dear Abby, holds a photo showing her mother and father as she stands in her home in Beverly Hills, Calif., in this June 11, 1986 file photo. Advice columnists Van Burens and Ann Landers who are twins, showed up Saturday, June 2, 2001 to celebrate their big sister, Helen Brodkey's 90th birthday at the nursing home where she lives. Van Buren and Landers say they could always count on advice from their big sister whether they wanted it or not.

FILE--Abigail Van Buren, better known as Dear Abby, holds a photo showing her mother and father as she stands in her home in Beverly Hills, Calif., in this June 11, 1986 file photo. Advice columnists Van Burens

Dear Abby: My wife sleeps in the raw. Then she showers, brushes her teeth and fixes our breakfast — still in the buff. We're newlyweds and there are just the two of us, so I suppose there's really nothing wrong with it. What do you think? —
Ed

Dear Ed: It's OK with me. But tell her to put on an apron when she's frying bacon.

Pauline Phillips, a California housewife who nearly 60 years ago, seeking something more meaningful than mahjong, transformed herself into the syndicated columnist Dear Abby — and in so doing became a trusted, tart-tongued adviser to tens of millions — died Wednesday in Minneapolis. She was 94.

Her syndicate, Universal Uclick, announced her death on its website. A longtime resident of Beverly Hills, Calif., Phillips, who had been ill with Alzheimer's disease for more than a decade, lived in Minneapolis in recent years to be near family.

Phillips began her life as Abigail Van Buren in 1956 and quickly became known for her astringent, often genteelly risque, replies to queries that included the marital, the medical and sometimes both at once:

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Dear Abby's reach is vast. (Phillips' daughter, Jeanne Phillips, took over the column unofficially in 1987 and officially in 2000.) According to Universal Uclick, Dear Abby appears in about 1,400 newspapers worldwide, has a daily readership of more than 110 million — in print and on its interactive website, dearabby.com — and receives more than 10,000 letters and emails a week. The Dear Abby column runs Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday in the San Antonio Express-News.

Politically left of center, Phillips was generally conservative when it came to personal deportment. As late as the 1990s she was reluctant to advise unmarried couples to live together. Yet beneath her crackling one-liners lay an imperturbable acceptance of the vagaries of modern life:

Dear Abby: Our son married a girl when he was in the service. They were married in February and she had an 81/2-pound baby girl in August. She said the baby was premature. Can an 81/2-pound baby be this premature? —
Wanting to Know

Dear Wanting: The baby was on time. The wedding was late. Forget it.

The youngest of four sisters, Pauline Esther Friedman, known to family as Popo, was born in Sioux City, Iowa, on July 4, 1918. Her twin, Esther Pauline (known as Eppie), beat her into the world by 17 minutes. The twins attended Morningside College in Sioux City, where they both studied journalism and psychology and wrote a joint gossip column for the school paper.

In 1939, Pauline Friedman left college to marry Morton Phillips, an heir to a liquor fortune. As a young bride, she took up civic work training hospital volunteers, an experience that helped lay the foundation for her future calling.

“I learned how to listen,” Phillips told the San Diego Union-Tribune in 1989. “Sometimes, when people come to you with a problem, the best thing you can do is listen.”

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mySA.com:
See a copy of the first Dear Abby column that ran on Jan. 9, 1956, in the San Francisco Chronicle.

In 1955, Eppie Lederer took over the Ann Landers column for the Chicago Sun-Times. A rank beginner soon swamped by a flood of mail, she began sending batches of letters to her sister — for advice, as it were.

“I provided the sharp answers,” Phillips told the Ladies' Home Journal in 1981. “I'd say, 'You're writing too long (she still does), and this is the way I'd say it.'” She added, “My stuff was published — and it looked awfully good in print.”

So good that when the Sun-Times later forbade Lederer to send letters out of the office, Phillips, by this time living in the Bay Area, vowed to find a column of her own.

She phoned the San Francisco Chronicle, identifying herself as a local housewife who thought she could do better than the advice columnist the paper already had.

“If you're ever in the neighborhood,” the features editor said rhetorically, “come in and see me.”

Phillips chose her pen name herself, taking Abigail after the prophetess in the Book of Samuel and Van Buren for its old-family, presidential ring.

Besides her daughter, Jeanne, Phillips is survived by her husband of 73 years, Mort Phillips; four grandchildren, and two great-grandchildren. A son, Edward, died in 2011.