Gamber is the celebrity name for Gary and Amber, one of the most disastrous couples on Teen Mom — and that’s saying something. They are, in a word, a mess. Also, they’re both so irritating that I can’t decide which one to hate more, which is a dilemma. Their baby remains cute. Too bad she has no chance of growing up normal. Also, while I applaud Amber trying to go out and get a job, does it bug anyone else that she was complaining about the color schemes in the apartments she looked at while using “government assistance” to pay for the rent? Glad my tax dollars can help Amber live in a place with a remodeled, white bathroom instead of an ugly green one. Did I mention my bathroom is ugly and green?

Tatelynn (i.e. Catelynn and Tyler), on the other hand, are my favorites. They are so adorable, and I do hope they end up together eventually. I just hope that Catelynn gets to go to college and get her life together, and Tyler gets to join the Air Force first, because I think it’s important that they both get to do their own thing before settling down. They’re teenagers, for goodness’ sakes! But yeah they’re the best. I want to adopt them.

Farrah’s celebrity name would be Nightmarrah. She is horrifically bad. I take back what I said last week about her getting better, because this week she’s totally back to being a terrible person. She’s such a brat, bitching to her mom that she doesn’t like living with her, when her mother is raising Farrah’s child and putting a roof over both of their heads. Her mom bugs me, too, though, mostly because she lets Farrah pull her bratty B.S., but also because of her voice. Just saying.

Macy and Ryan’s celebrity name would be Racy. Not too much else to say about them, except that I strongly disapprove of Ryan. He’s already a deadbeat dad and he hasn’t even gone through a messy divorce yet. Gross.

That’s all for this week, peeps. Keep it real.

PS. There is a new season of 16 & Pregnant coming in February. Bring it!