This blog started as part of a personal journey when God responded to my cry to Him for help during a particularly difficult period with a narcissist. While we spend most of the time here exploring the depths of the Bible for solutions, I occasionally want to remind myself of three underlying purposes for this blog: Continue reading →

When we are dealing with narcissists, it may seem as though no one else “gets” what we are going through. But you are not alone. You may be interested in the search terms which people used in December to find this blog (please excuse the obvious spelling errors):

When you look around, it surely looks as though narcissism* is on the rise. People seem to be increasingly selfish, self-centered, and arrogant, while common civility is on the decline. We can debate whether we are “in the last days”, but the description in 2 Timothy 3 appears very close to what is currently taking place…..

8b so these men also oppose the truth, men of depraved mind, rejected in regard to the faith.9 But they will not make further progress; for their folly will be obvious to all……..

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13 But evil men and impostors will proceed from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived……..

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If it sometimes seems as though things are getting worse, the Bible tells us that in the last days things actually will get worse – including from those pretending to be “religious”. But the writer Paul goes on to give some proscriptive advice to the young man he was mentoring (and through this to us) …..

Another way to view our dealings with narcissists* is as a 3-way relationship. Yes, it mostly feels as though it is “us vs. them”, and that we need to struggle through dealing with these difficult people on our own. And while there is some truth to that, we will not be able to have full success in dealing with them until we understand God’s involvement in the equation (see here and here). So, while we may succeed on our own in applying solid tactics in our dealings with the narcissist – which may definitely help us maintain sanity – we will not be able to achieve the full level of “victory” in our lives that is possible without bringing God into the equation.

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The following diagram illustrates the 4 relationship dynamics involved in our dealing with narcissists:

2 My son, if you will receive my wordsAnd treasure my commandments within you,2 Make your ear attentive to wisdom,Incline your heart to understanding;3 For if you cry for discernment,Lift your voice for understanding;4 If you seek her as silverAnd search for her as for hidden treasures;5 Then you will discern the fear of the LordAnd discover the knowledge of God.6 For the Lord gives wisdom;From His mouth come knowledge and understanding.

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The best way to describe me is as a seeker of Him. There are two primary reasons which I have currently chosen not to identify myself by name: Continue reading →