Journey to Recovery from Childhood Abuse

Getting through Thanksgiving

How is everyone doing with the holidays upon us? I am doing surprisingly well, all things considered.

So far, things have been hard, which is usual for me, but I am finding that I am dusting myself off and fighting back much more effectively this year than in prior years. Of course, the big challenge for me is the period between Thanksgiving and Christmas, but I am just grateful that I have gotten this far in one piece.

I am trying to do a better job using my tools to get me through the difficult times. I actually got a massage last week (that is HUGE for me!!), which helped work many of the knots out of my shoulders. Just the sheer act of setting aside time for myself – doing something that was just for me – was HUGE in helping me feel better.

I am gradually moving toward trying to have a more manageable schedule. This has been a year of unbalance for me. I have been working far too hard and reaping too few results (earned a lot less money this year despite putting in more hours). The internal intensity toward work seems to be calming down, thank goodness. I am doing better about taking a full hour lunch break and doing other things just for myself, such as going to see the new Twilight movie last weekend. Doing little kindnesses for myself seems to help with my emotional state.

A friend has invited my son and me to come over to her house for Thanksgiving once we are finished with our own. My family (just five of us – hub, child, and in-laws) will eat at 1:00, and the in-laws will be out the door within 70 minutes. (Yes, I have timed them.) That leaves all afternoon of my son and me feeling bored while hub naps, so the two of us are going to have a second Thanksgiving at a friend’s house.

Beyond that, we don’t really have plans for the weekend, and I am OK with that … which is weird for me. I usually freak out if I don’t have plans, but I am OK. I have some ideas of things my son and I can do together – decorate for Christmas, trim the tree, go to the zoo, etc. We’ll get through it.

I am sticking with my formula of only uplifting or non-melancholy music, no alcohol, working out at the gym, decent amount of sleep, and down time for me. All of this seems to be helping.

One more thing – I will be taking the rest of the week off for Thanksgiving. I hope all of you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

6 Responses

I’m so glad you’re doing ok :). I hope your holidays are as enjoyable as possible.

Of course we don’t have Thanksgiving here in the UK, our next holiday is kind of a month away yet, but Christmas effectively lasts from now through to the new year due to the huge build-up. I don’t remember having Christmas, time with the “family” is just too traumatic, so at the moment my feelings are more about wishing that I had one more like people with happy home lives do/did. I bear in mind though that even if they don’t use the word “abuse”, there are a lot of people who find Christmas Day with the family extremely difficult and who are quite glad when it’s over, so I’m not really on my own. I guess that applies to any holiday; even outside the survivor community there are a lot of people who find them tough, plenty of whom bow to pressure to try to have a good time and don’t manage.

I hope your toolkit stays full for you, faith. Sounds like you have good plans in place.
I am taking a minute at a time. My counselor yesterday gently reminded me to take it easy, try not to take on too much and to stay in touch. those words are my toolkit.

The word comes from a old Jewish custom. The community believing that there misfortune was caused by angering God by there sins would take a goat and heap their sins on the goat then cast the goat into the desert to die.

I always knew that if someone said they were the black sheep and did so with pride they were not the real black sheep. It is not fun.

So I am thankful that I found a way to understand I was the scapegoat in my family. Once I had the understanding than it was a matter of working on it. More work. Oh bother.