You Are Dumb, which is not a blog, posts new columns when it can manage to in these troubled Trumpian times. It is also a Twitter feed, @youaredumb, with content in a similar vein but much shorter. For a take on what a blog by me would be like, check out OLDNERD.

Disclaimer first. Explanation second. The disclaimer is that I love Rick and Morty. The third season may be one of the best shows TV has supplied in years. Also, I’m not a misogynist who doxxes women on the writing staff like some Rick and Morty “fans”. Also, I did not stand in line at McDonalds for the limited edition Szechuan sauce re-release.

Now, the explanation, because I do not blame you if you don’t know and/or don’t want to know what I’m talking about. A gag in the first episode of Rick and Morty Season 3 featured a long rant about Rick’s desire to once again have the Szechuan dipping sauce McDonalds put out to dip McNuggets into when Mulan came out. McDonalds played along for a while, and everyone was happy.

And then McDonalds said they’d have the sauce in the stores for one day only (last Sunday). And people lined up by the hundreds. And McDonalds somehow managed to have between 20-70 packets of sauce per location. It was not enough. People were angry. In some locations, police were called.

Now, obviously, I don’t think the lack of sauce is enough provocation to require the presence of police, but on the other hand, is there any more obvious warping of the phrase “protect and serve” for modern day policing than protecting McDonalds’ right to serve chicken tenders?

And yes, the whole thing is stupid. But make no mistake here. All the blame lies with McDonalds. People are perfectly happy to be exploited a little bit in exchange for a bit of shared amusement and fun. But McDonalds violated the tacit contract by being dicks about it.

Under current socioeconomic and political conditions, I’m simply less inclined to shit all over other people’s harmless forms of escapism and self-care, even if, as a middle aged old-school nerd, I’m barely willing to stand in a short line for something important, much less a long line for something pointless. Fans who stood in line for the sauce weren’t violating the spirit of the joke in a deep misunderstanding of the deeper meaning of the show and it’s characters, they were playing along with a pop culture game.

McDonalds could have played along too. Brought the sauce back for a month or even a week to drive nerds to its restaurants for a little dumb thing for the fun of it. It’s a sauce at McDonalds, for fuck’s sake. It’ll keep forever, so if nerds didn’t turn out, they could just have it as an option for months or years. But no. They had to fuck around. They had to try to turn it into an exciting viral social media flash mob 2.0. And from their impure intentions, chaos reigned. Or something.