According to the Nei Jing, the Yellow Emperor’s Classic of Internal Medicine, Chapter One, The female essence (jing) goes through seven your cycles. Seven is considered a harmonious representation of natural cycles: there are seven days in a week, four cycles of seven complete the phases of a full menstrual cycle. There are seven spirits; seven stages of development, and seven vibrational frequencies.

2 x 7: Her menstruation appears as the ren (sea of yin) channel flows and the chong (sea of blood) channel becomes prosperous at the age of 14.

3 x 7: Her Kidney qi reaches a balanced state, and her teeth are completely developed at the age of 21.

4 x 7: Her vital energy and blood are substantial, her four limbs are strong and the body is at optimal condition at the age of 28.

5 x 7: Her peak condition declines gradually. The yang ming channel is depleted, her face withers and her hair begins to fall out at the age of 35.

6 x 7: Her three yang channels, tai yang, yang ming and shao yang, begin to decline. Her face complexion wanes and her hair turn white at the age of 42.

7 x 7: The ren and chong channels are both declining, her menstruation ends, her physique turns old and feeble, and she can no longer conceive at the age of 49.

Notice that there is a peak from age 28 – 35; thereafter her jing declines. What the jing cycle doesn’t define for us, but what is at least as important is that as the jing declines, there is an increase in shen, or spirit. So, while we still work to enhance the essence during the decline, the shen, must be attended to. If you focus on the jing during the last three cycles of seven, it sounds pretty dismal. Her face withers, her hair begins to turn white and fall out. Her complexion wanes. Her physique turns old and feeble. But also notice, that while they highlight the decline, she is still able to conceive until her menstruation ends. What keeps this process going during the decline? Her spirit. Life is created through jing and shen, essence and spirit. While Chinese herbs and lifestyle changes may help enhance your jing, the shen is your internal state of consciousness, and cannot be neglected in this process.

The rise in shen could be represented by inner wisdom; a sense of completion and giving up needs of the material world. This is a state of spiritual health and wholeness. Feeling empty and unfulfilled depletes both the jing and the shen. Daily meditations, gratitude for what you already have, and feeling a lightness in your heart allow you to live in a state of abundance, nourishing to both the jing and the shen.

There are two ways to answer this – one based on form, one based on what animates form. We will focus on the latter, which to me is the only answer that holds substance. According to the Hua Hu Ching,
“If we remain obsessed with seeds and eggs, we are married to the fertile reproductive valley of the Mysterious Mother, but not to her immeasurable heart and all knowing mind.”

The seeds and eggs are the blueprint through which the immeasurable Heart and Mind of the universal creative power (which the Taoists called the “Mysterious Mother”) animates existence. This is what brings forth life. You can have seeds and eggs galore, but if the spark of life is not ignited, even perfect “Grade A” blastocysts do not become babies.

Western medicine is obsessed with seeds and eggs, and is therefore married to the reproductive valley. It excels in trying to perfect the blueprint; yet it is not the blueprint that brings forth life. It is the animating force that enlivens the blueprint.

Three months prior to ovulation/ejaculation, chromosomes within the seeds and eggs are aligning themselves based on the internal messages that the universe is conveying from outside to inside through the parent’s interpretation of their environment. This cannot be controlled or manipulated. It can, however, be adjusted, as an individual’s consciousness opens to higher possibility. At ovulation, if the essence of both parents have resulted in harmonious fusion, an invitation is sent out to the cosmos.

About a week later, cosmic qi will either initiate a reverse energetic cycle to create a new individual being, or the forward energetic cycle of continuation will bring on the menses and a new cycle will begin. The former initiates a movement into “pre-heavenly essence” through which new manifestation can emerge; the later will issue the continuance of the post-heaven (or earthly) cycle.

The endocrine system, which governs the hormones - chemical response to an individual’s environment, is governed by this forward energetic movement. The gynecological or menstrual cycle, gives rise to the reverse energetic system. Where these two meet is where the invitation to life is ignited.

When a woman becomes pregnant, the forward post heaven movement in her body (water -> wood -> fire -> earth -> metal) meets with the reverse pre-heaven movement in her baby, responsible for the great activity of pregnancy. We could summarize it as follows:

Prenatal Creation (Embryology)

Water – sexual energy of the parents combine

Metal – celestial qi is called in from the universe

Earth – gives substance

Fire – provides movement

Wood – initiates birth into the post heavenly realm

At this level, deep within the womb of the Mysterious Mother, forces beyond our control are taking place to set up the individual for his or her upcoming life. Only when the mother is able to step out of her mind-based earthly world and move into the pre-heavenly realm, she has access to the mystery, where the spiritual curriculum of the individual’s upcoming life is being established.

True Healing
True healing involves transformation, at the deepest levels. Instead of merely addressing the branch aspects of an individual’s presentation, we will work down to our own root level, learn and experientially practice how to come to the root level with a patient. Transformation begins by rooting oneself in the Tao. Our fall retreat will focus on taking our entire beings into the Tao, and then working our way out to the two, the three, and the ten thousand things. The movement of the Tao is return.

RETREAT OVERVIEW:
This retreat will be held in the Historic Downtown Center of Asheville, North Carolina. With multiple places to stay and nearly an unlimited array of the Mountain’s finest restaurants and cuisine – this retreat will surely not be one to miss! The retreat will begin on Friday afternoon at 4:00pm with an introduction to Traditional Chinese (TCM) and an overview of the schedule ahead (specific times will be posted upon registration). This is a great opportunity to meet with Randine and your fellow guests that are on a similar journey! The Retreat will continue Saturday and Sunday morning and go throughout the days until early evening (usually end each day about 6:00pm) and close the weekend on Monday morning with a group Healing Circle and acupuncture treatment with Dr. Lewis. There will be intermission breaks for Lunch and a few shorter breaks to stretch your legs and get some fresh air throughout the day.

All meals will be on your own – however, with a multitude of fresh, local and organic restaurants nearby, trying to fit them all in might be the most difficult endeavor of the weekend! If you do decide to leave during meal times, we recommend that you stay close during these breaks as the schedule is full and we will need to start each session promptly in order to maximize your time with Dr. Lewis.

TUITION OVERVIEW:

The Primary/Partner price includes full program tuition, acupuncture treatment onsite, and our Phone Consultation Package (Initial Nutrition and Wellness Consults) with our Fertile Soul staff practitioners – a $250 add-on value! To learn more about this great offering and details of the phone consultation program click here.

Our staff will contact you with further retreat and travel details in an event welcome email soon after your place your order OR feel free to contact us at any time! You will also receive an email about our phone consultation program and registration to get you started on your fertility journey with our Phone Consult Package. You will be directed to our online registration page to create a guest profile and set up each of your appointments.

Our primary physical directive in life is survival, or self-preservation. All other physiological functions come after the primary directive has been met. If we can survive, we can potentially thrive, become productive members of society, and reproduce. If our sense of safety and security are perceived to be in jeopardy, however, the body/mind diverts attention away from growth, until the threat passes. The reproductive function is the first to be sacrificed, as your body does not want you pregnant if your life is in danger. We don't question this directive in nature - animals in the wild don't reproduce well when their survival is jeopardized. They don't go into heat when resources are scarce or they are in captivity. Yet, when this happens in us, we panic and think there is something wrong. In actuality, our bodies are doing exactly what they have been conditioned to do, from our own life responses to the deepest messages carried within our DNA.
I recently worked with a woman whose entire fertility pursuit threatened her very sense of well-being. She constantly felt like her life was in jeopardy. Almost as soon as she decided to try to have a baby, her hormones started to fluctuate and her cycles became erratic; eventually her periods quit altogether. Her body/mind went into panic and survival mode. She experienced severe anxiety and mild panic attacks every time she thought about not being able to have a child. The harder she worked to overcome this feeling of threat, the more threatened she felt. Throughout her healing process, every practitioner she went to for help (acupuncturists, nutritionists, and therapists) seemed to further perpetuate this feeling of panic. The more she was given to do, the more overwhelmed she felt.

Deep inside there was a feeling that her very survival needed protecting. No doctor or therapist could talk her body out of this deeply held unconscious belief. Yet, her heart could. Chinese medicine views the heart as the only true healer, as it houses the spirit, or life giving force of all of existence. The healing had to begin in her own heart.

While we teach individuals how to calmly harmonize themselves with their environments, the real work we do on retreat is to put individuals in touch with the healing power of their own hearts. When they no longer have to protect themselves, the invisible shield that I call "infertility," naturally falls.

Contrary to the typical Western view, healing is not about the resolution of symptoms. Alleviating physical expressions is palliative medicine. Chinese medicine pays just enough attention to the symptoms so as to find their cause. The cause is usually much harder to see, especially when we are attempting to alleviate the symptom. I consider physical discomforts such as headaches, menstrual irregularities, hot flashes, and ovarian pain to be knocks on the door of our awareness asking us to pay attention.
We are meant to have pain to invite us to see where something is wrong. If we step on a piece of glass, it is meant to get our attention before it causes more damage. On futher investigation, a headache may reveal deep levels of emotional holding. I had migraine headaches for years, untreatable with medication. With deeper investigation into the energetic origin, I found my body's wisdom was giving me very useful guidance about life decisions. When I paid attention, and acted on it, the pain resolved. Irritable bowel syndrome revealed unconscious fear and worry. When the origin was penetrated, the symptoms resolved. My ovarian and hormonal problems led me internally as well, to examine my own issues with control. When control was relinquished, so was the fertility obstruction.

True healing is about transformation - being led into the depths of our own body/mind to expose the hidden truths about life. And the catalysts for this transformational process are usually not the areas where we are comfortable in life, but where we are most uncomfortable. It takes courage to want to face our own pain. I think of retreat as a process of catalyzing transformation. And the symptoms of disharmony are alleviated permanently when their root cause is revealed.

Whatever causes you the most pain right now is the invitation to find the catalyst for its resolution. A friend recently told me a true story that says it best. A beekeeper and his son were moving bee colonies. The son told his father, "When I was moving the bees, there was an intruder." After querying him further, the son described the invader as being big and dark, almost like a wasp, that fell away from the rest of the bees. The father asked what he did, and the son proudly exclaimed that he stomped the villain. The father said, "Oh, son, you've killed the queen."

Let your pain not be ignored, suppressed, or killed. Let it invite you into the depths of your own spirit, the only place where true transformative healing can occur. Whatever you do, don't kill the queen!

"... Fertility-boosting drugs could more than double the risk of subsequent offspring developing childhood leukaemia, academics warn today.” – Telegraph, UK
4/24/12 - European researchers reported over a two fold increased risk in two forms of childhood leukemia, in children conceived with fertility drugs.

Almost a decade ago, the Wall Street Journal reported: Babies born as the result of IVF with ICSI are twice as likely to be born with major birth defects than those conceived naturally.

Whether or not these research reports can be proven is not significant to me. What I look at is what the drugs are doing. Any drug which stimulates the ovaries to artificially recruit follicles that the body naturally deselected, are already at increased risk. Further, forcefully injecting sperm that are incapable of penetrating the egg on their own, obviously puts the potential of new life at risk.

Nature knows what it’s doing. Our own body’s wisdom selects the follicle that it deems the healthiest to become the dominant ovulatory follicle. Reproductive medicine will sacrifice that one for the drug induced many; just to increase the statistical likelihood that fertilization will take place. IVF drugs cannot and do not increase the health of the germ cells; they force fertilization. If the underlying health is compromised and fertilization is forced, the starting point of the new life is already at jeopardy.

I doubt the procedures themselves are responsible. The drugs? Not so sure. I have always held to the irrefutable fact that nature knows best. When we can enhance the health of the reproductive system during the tonic growth phase of follicular growth when protein synthesis and chromosomal selection occur (months before ovulation), we improve the likelihood of healthy egg and sperm production, no matter what methods are employed.

I lectured on this topic at a workshop which was attended by patients and reproductive clinic staff, including reproductive endocrinologists. As I taught the participants the life cycle of the follicle and what could improve ovarian and sperm health, I asked the medical audience if anything I was saying was untrue. An RE responded, “We know what you’re saying is true; we just can’t do anything about it with what we have to offer, so we don’t pay attention to it. Your method seems to offer that missing ingredient.

Most of the patients I treat are over 40. Most are at an increased statistical risk for chromosomal abnormalities and poor response to IVF. Yet, when they take the time to nourish the health of the body, mind, and spirit, natural conception is more likely to occur. IVF success rates greatly increase. And those that have chromosomal abnormalities, birth defects, and childhood cancers are virtually non-existent. As one of my teachers asked, “What is the truth you are attending to – labs and medical results, or the potential of your own spirit?” To me the latter is where miracles occur; not in the laboratory. Let medicine intervene where it is meant to – after you have done everything humanly possible to improve your own health; not before or instead.

This daunting term is almost meaningless. It simply means that hormones are fluctuating in women during their later reproductive years. Perimenopause can last for many years, during which time a woman is still capable of conceiving. One study reported that when a woman enters perimenopause, she still has, on average, ten thousand eggs remaining. It isn't until a woman has been without a period for one year that she is considered to be in menopause. Then she is no longer capable of bearing children with her own eggs.

This transition occurs at multiple levels - ovarian output fluctuates; blood flow to the ovaries diminishes, and the biopotency of the FSH molecule changes. The hypothalamic-pituitary-ovarian axis becomes more delicate.

According to Chinese medicine, this is one of the most rich times in a woman's life. Although she may experience symptoms of this transition - like reduced libido, decreased cervical fluid, irregular menstruation, moodiness, insomnia, hot flashes and night sweats, these are not considered symptoms of disease. They are an invitation as the energies shift from a focus on lower reproductive output to one where the spirit dominates.

Most all energetic transitions will produce symptoms. When you know that they are natural and necessary, they will become less problematic. When they are resisted, it exacerbates liver qi stagnation, aggravating the symptoms. Acupuncture and Chinese herbal medicine can help ease this transition and reduce symptoms, while one is trying to conceive.

Reducing sugar, wheat and refined carbohydrates helps the metabolic changes. Supplementwith essential antioxidants, minerals, CoQ10, and fish oil. Light exercise like walking, biking, or swimming helps reduce depressive symptoms, especially when performed out of doors. Inner body meditations can help ease symptoms of anxiety. Perform the femoral massage daily before ovulation if you are still trying to conceive. We also have formulated a Fertile Soul herbal blend to assist and enhance fertility during this time.

Dr. Randine Lewis, author of The Infertility Cure and founder of The Fertile Soul MethodTM, will offer this Workshop in conjunction with Donna Huber(Thirteen Moons Acupuncture) to focus on the unique challenges couples and individuals face through the fertility journey. We will incorporate five-element energetics, our foundational retreat process, diagnosis, qi gong exercises, diet, massage/acupressure, energy healing, nutritional enhancement, and healing support in a comfortable group environment.
Our LOWEST tuition of the YEAR is offered for this event ONLY! The retreat begins on Friday, March 23 (starting time around 3pm) and goes through Sunday, March 25 (closing time around 6pm).

I strongly believe that even just finding out about The Fertile Soul has a powerful, ripple, helpful effect, especially for those who cannot travel, but who nevertheless read -- and listen-- ask questions, wonder, benefit, and grow, grow, grow. L.H.

I am looking forward to a rich retreat in January, where we will focus on aging, overwhelm, and turning into the wellspring of deep inner guidance. In this inner sanctuary there is no aging or overwhelm. When we can reside in this place, a more fertile response to life is possible, which of course, is reflected in our reproductive response. Our New York session filled up quickly, but we do have openings in February in my hometown of Asheville, NC, February 17-20th, where our focus will expand to include welcoming in the year of the Dragon, a powerful and dynamic expression of the Chinese New Year. We will use this power to deeply connect with the life-giving source within. I love witnessing the power of retreat participants as they learn to live the miracle!

We will also offer a free conference call on Monday, January 30th at 7 p.m. EST. I will go over some fertility basics and open the call up to your questions and answers. I hope you will be able to join us - whether you are new to the Fertile Soul or have already embraced this process. I look forward to connecting with you.

To Join in dial 605-475-4000 then access code 794774#. Those calling from Canada should call 805-360-1075 and then you will be prompted to enter the original number and access code.

The Infertility Cure lays out some of the diagnostic parameters to assess someone’s patterns of imbalance, and thereby discover methods to bring one into harmony with life. The ancient texts of Chinese medicine state that disease states arise from being out of harmony with nature.
When we lose our essential harmony with life, tension arises. Stress results. We enter states of “dis-ease”, at the level of the physical body, emotional resistance, mental patterns that do not serve us, and spiritual unrest.

The beauty of the system of Chinese medicine is that it allows us to delve deeply into each area of our life, and uncover areas where the way we have responded to our life situation, and how we interact with our environment, are the cause of all states of imbalance. These patterns of imbalance result in physical symptoms, including the inability to bring forth life, a natural and inherent tendency that we all embody during our reproductive years.

When we utilize this diagnostic system, we can chart our course in life without resistance. Our lives start to flow more freely. Unhealthy patterns fall away. I often hear from retreat participants, “This is the way I always knew life could be.” I remember in my own experience when I first felt a deep sense of well being, which preceded my ability to conceive. What a gift that was!

That sense of well being guides me now, and never lets me down. I no longer am at the mercy of life, anyone else’s opinions about my life, my health, or well being. I, and only I, am responsible for my life. How empowering… but, also, how daunting this was at times. I could no longer blame doctors, my past, life situations, or anyone else for any difficulty that arose. My response to life was up to me. Nobody else.

As I said in The Infertility Cure, this is not a process for the weak at heart. Nor is fertility; nor is motherhood. It is the most courageous journey you can take. It will never let you down.

This workshop introduces you to The Fertile Soul™approach to recovering fertility.

This workshop is for anyone struggling with fertility. It may also serve as a Foundations pre-event for The Fertile Soul™ Retreat at Oriens with Elizabeth Carpenter, MS, L.Ac., CEFP & Randine Lewis, Ph.D., L.Ac. (author, The Infertility Cure) beginning immediately afterward.

This time of year is a great time to address some of the spiritual questions that are a part of the fertility journey.
Obviously, we are not the creators of babies. Assisted reproductive medicine may make you think that human power has this one under its control, but you know better. We would like to believe that someone has the power to make this happen. If it’s not me, and it’s not my doctor, it must be God.

What is God? If God is the creator, then what role do I have in creation? Any? What role does a rabbit have in producing baby rabbits? What role does a tree have in producing seedlings? Any?

When we look through the lens of reproductive medicine, we place the power of creation in our doctor’s hands, and pretty much out of our own. When we place creation in God’s hands, we move out of the picture almost entirely, other than where our beliefs about God are concerned. This opens up a whole can of worms. Now religious and moral values overshadow whether or not we will be worthy of creation. “Will I be a good mother?” “What about the abortion I had when I was 18?” “What am I being punished for – focusing on my career?” I don’t believe rabbits or trees suffer from these same delusions.

Chinese medicine views all parts of existence as holographic representations of the whole. The whole is in the part. That’s why we can treat the entire body by needling just one ear, or one hand. The human body is seen as a microcosm of the macrocosm; of having all of the elements of creation at its disposal. You might say that the creator is in the creation; and therefore the creation has all the powers of creation at its disposal.

That means you are the very essence of the creator; not separate from it. Everything about your consciousness reflects the power of creation. Your beliefs about unworthiness or punishment become manifest in your body/mind. That’s why rabbits and trees aren’t affected by their beliefs… they don’t have any. They simply allow creation to move through them, unimpeded.

Internalized messages like, “I am not worthy” contract the kidney energies – the very ones through which the reproductive energies arise. And we keep creation from manifesting. Worry knots the qi, and prevents the spirit energies from interacting with the source energies, from which life itself emerges.

Unfortunately, many people don’t want to take on the full responsibility for creation. It is easier to hand over our power to another deity, be it a doctor or a religious figure. The Fertile Soul process brings you in as a full participant in creation, from your rightful place – prior to it. You don’t manipulate the elements to bring forth life – you occupy the space where miracles arise. From this space, you have full awareness of and participation with the energies that either obstruct or open to life.

Dr. Randine Lewis and The Fertile Soul will be in Asheville’s newest edition, Biltmore Town Square, for this retreat December 9th – 12th at the Hilton Hotel located in the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains of Asheville, North Carolina. Check out our Holiday Tuition special going on now - http://thefertilesoul.com/shop/retreats/re11-1209-the-fertile-soul-retreat

The entire reproductive system operates via a state of relaxed receptivity. Usually, however, during our waking state, we occupy a more clenched internal state, which does not allow our reproductive energies to flow freely. It all begins at the hypothalamus. In this 46 minute meditation set to the soothing music of Pat Clements, Dr. Lewis guides you through an inner body process which allows the hypothalamic pituitary ovarian axis to reset itself from a state of resistance and stress to open receptivity. This meditation may be utilized throughout the entire menstrual cycle, and during medically assisted reproductive procedures.

One of my teachers emphasized the universal truth that our life situation is determined by what we are committed to. Before I expand, I’ll ask the question he asked me: Where is your allegiance?
Before you answer, look at your life situation, as it is right now. It shows you where your allegiance is, as well as what you are committed to.

It has always amazed me to see what people think they are committed to, and what they are actually committed to.

Obviously, I host retreats because of the intensity of the healing power that happens there. Because of that, I only meet individually with people after they have attended retreats. I demand commitment before I commit myself to anyone else’s healing process. I am presently working with three couples from other countries – one from Russia – now pregnant,; one from Greece – now pregnant; and one from Central America that is getting ready to go through an IVF. They each have adjusted their entire worlds to this program.

At the same time, I talk to people who say, “I’ll go to retreat when you come to my area,” or “I can’t go right now, because I’m getting ready to do another IVF,” when nothing in their lives have changed. We all know that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.

Are you committed to what’s wrong with you or what’s right with you? Are you giving your allegiance to your labs or the healing potential within you? Are you committed to what you think medical technology has to offer you, or to your very self, where the real changes occur?

Again, look at your life situation, as it is right now. That’s your answer. I believe life meets us where we our, with the intensity of our devotion to what it is we want most. Life does not, however, give us the object of our desires, but creates an opening for its energetic expression. If we are focused on the object, we remain focused externally, and nothing internally can change. If we can learn to move out of our obsession with the object and into the healing potential within, life can meet us there, and create an opening.

You’ve all heard me talk about the miracle births – from FSH values over 100 to AMH values of 0; severe implantation and immunologic difficulties, uterine and ovarian issues… these aren’t any more miraculous than anything you are presently experiencing. The true healing process requires a commitment and devotion to self that will require you to put yourself and your own healing potential ahead of everything else in your life.

If you remain committed to maintaining the status quo in your life, you will continue to receive more of what you have. If you are looking for a miracle, give yourself totally to that place within where miracles occur.

Objects of desire are often egoic demands. While they may be made manifest, the momentary satisfaction will only become the next unfulfilled desire. When it is fulfilled, you will only temporarily relieve the desire; it will almost assuredly be replaced by another demand for another object, leaving you more unfulfilled than if you never received the first request.
Unfulfilled desires (and the resulting anger) cause the liver energies to stagnate, taking us out of the flow of life, externally and internally. This resistance becomes blocked energy, which locks it in place. When our energies no longer flow with life as it is, we have stepped out of harmony with all of life. We cannot resume a successful quest until we let go of our demands and resistance.

Our lowest energies are fear-based. Fear of not getting our desires satisfied begets more of the same, and depletes our kidney energies in the process. When our unfulfilled desires feed worry and panic, we are operating from our lowest level of expression. The laws of the universe ensure that we are not given more than our present state of vibration is capable of receiving. Until we let go of the fear of not having our desires fulfilled, we are limiting how the universe can execute our request.

Instructions for Manifesting:

Step 1) Ask what it is you want most. Ask anew each time; allowing it to change. Imagine the feeling you think you will achieve when you get what it is you want most. Hold this feeling in your heart. Put yourself in harmony with this feeling, and with all of life, as it is.

Step 2) Ask how you are preventing yourself from opening up to receive this desire. Questions such as:
- How are you causing struggle for yourself?
- What are you putting up with that is in opposition to this desire?

Step 3) Face the fear of releasing all you are in opposition to.
Face the fear of not getting your desire fulfilled.

Step 4) Open up to receive.

Step 5) Trust that the universe will give you exactly what you need most, while you let go of how.

Now go about your life. You don’t have to check up on it. You and life are not different. When you are in harmony with this fact, you don’t need to fight or struggle in order to get your needs met. Life will come in and meet your highest vibratory level, that of opening up and trusting. You can’t see the whole picture. The grand view always has the greatest good of all in its heart. You are a part of that, and it always has your highest interest at heart, too. Practice gratitude for that fact. You will be amazed.

Whatever it is you want most, you will get.
However, what you want most is not necessarily what the conscious mind thinks you want most. Egoic demands are at odds with the universe’s ability to fulfill them. Imagine if everyone in the world got what they thought they wanted – life would be far more chaotic than it seems now.

I remember when I was eight years old, I wanted a monkey more than anything else I had ever wanted. If anyone was to ask me why I wanted a monkey, I just absolutely knew if I had a monkey as a pet, life would be more fun, I wouldn’t be lonely anymore, I wouldn’t feel the pain I felt inside, and I would be happy. No one could talk me out of it. I thought there was a possibility I would get this monkey on my birthday, but no. I got great presents, but a monkey wasn’t one of them. And I cried; partly because I was so disappointed and heartbroken, but also because I was so ashamed that I couldn’t appreciate my special day and gifts because of my sorrow.

Forty some years later, I can laugh at the silliness of my childish desires, and can compound the example with hundreds of other times when the universe, thankfully, did not give me what I thought I wanted most. I can look back and see, however, that it always gave me what I needed (i.e., what I wanted most.) In fact, every time, life seemed to maneuver itself to give me precisely what it was I most needed.

If I thought I must be with a particular guy in order to be happy, and he wasn’t right for me, circumstances would ensure we would not end up being together. This was not easy to swallow for a master manipulator like me. I would do everything within my power to land what I thought I wanted. Sometimes it seemed to work. Other times it didn’t. I held on to the times that it worked, and felt like it was me that was making my dreams come true. Untrue.

What was true was this – if I was in harmony with what life’s greatest gifts were for me, they would manifest. If I was not, they would not. It is that simple. What I want most I get when I am in harmony with the flow of life.

When desires are based solely on the “I want” mentality, we are like grasping little hands, keeping our palms from being filled by closing our fists to all life has to offer us. If this mind stream were given words, it would sound something like this: “I don’t want what is; I want something else. When I get it, I will be happy.” This mentality will ensure that the universe will not fill your grasping demand, because you have just energetically told it, “I reject my life as it is.” When we resist life, we enter into a psychological and physiological and struggle with it.