Crockett & Tubbs' Days Inn at 3007 Santa Monica Blvd. in Santa Monica

The Days Inn at Santa Monica Blvd. and Stanford St. stands tall on its corner as a sickly pastel monument to long-tarnished Miami Vice dreams.

Like a much uglier and down-on-his-luck Sonny Crockett, this building's year round tan, powder blue suit and manly five o-clock shadow have been replaced by leathery wrinkles, a Grizzly Adams beard and matching slippers and housecoat. On the other hand, the teal and candy-red accents seem to be recently re-painted, but somehow end up even more garish in comparison to the rest of the washed-out scene.

Crockett & Tubbs' sad Santa Monica hide-out features volumes, motifs and colors that are dreadfully copied and pasted from Miami's South Beach vernacular -- the classic Art Deco, Streamline Moderne, and Nautical Moderne architecture of the 1930s and 1940s.

Miami's Streamline Moderne & Deco buildings share a design palette with this Days Inn -- for instance, decorative "eyebrows" were designed to be functional as cooling elements above windows in south Florida's humid climate (but Santa Monica's always-balmy weather doesn't really require such overhangs). Famous Miami Architects like Henry Hohauser and L. Murray Dixon used flamboyant glass blocks, curved corners, porthole windows and ziggurat-like rooftops there in moderation on symmetrical edifices and details. It's like the Days Inn at 3007 Santa Monica Blvd. went on a sloppy bender with the same design palette and half the budget, and is now is hobbling along sock-less in taped-up, knock-off Armani loafers.

Historic precedent and copyright infringement aside, this astute, one-star Yelp review sums it up nicely. "The most ugly color scheme I have ever seen, bright pink with blue. Isn't there a architecture rule in SM?" Honey, you're preaching to the choir.

Hey management, try finishing the paint job on the top white stripe of the stair tower.