I have an appointment on the 13th to see my psychiatrist. The closer I get to that appointment the more agitated I get. The last time I saw him he gave me a GAF 50 and I was a ######6 wreck. I had just gotten out of lock up and had insomnia so bad I was up for three or four days at a time. I couldn't leave my home without a panic attack. Flashbacks were a daily thing. Depressed!? My last appeal had just been denied by Social Security and even now I see no hope what-so-ever. If I could kill myself I would but my best bet is death by cop and the sheriff should show up sooner or later to foreclose. The only reason I got county assistance is this disability statement from the psychiatrist. No disability statement, no assistance. I figure there's a good chance I'm not coming home from this appointment on the 13th. I sent my friend all my emergency contacts and I'm making out my Last Will just in case I get killed instead of locked up again.

So am I the only one that finds seeing their psychiatrist this stressful? 5 AM and I'm still awake!! AAARG!!

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I eventually started getting stressed by the psychiatrist/mental center. I quit going. I feel much better now that I don't go, but if you need the meds you don't have much of a choice. I also hated leaving the house, couldn't do it for a while.

BTW: I went to a state operated place and they had a financail advisor help with the disability. Someone I trusted also helped with that.

It's really normal to feel that way.
Any assessment, or first sessions are really stressful.
Once you are over that initial hump though it does get easier... hang in there.

Panic attacks are awful, I used to deal with them now they rarely go into panic. Remember in terms of the anxiety, that once you are there talking to your pdoc, it'll go away, likely when you are on your way. Anticipatory anxiety is the worse.

You mentioned flashbacks, are they PTSD/trauma related?

The insomnia is horrible I know again, I've dealt with it many times....

Hmmm ... I survived my appointment. I think it was his emotional tone the first time I saw him that had me thinking I was going into combat. He seemed fine this time. Schizoid apathy doesn't help me see things straight, I'm always prepared for the worse.