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Sunday, May 31, 2009

I'll talk a bit about my trip back to Nashville, but first a quote from a blog. I read several blogs, some more often than others. Blogs give me a chance to explore other ways to live, try other ways on for size. One I read is Zach Aboard at http://www.zachaboard.blogspot.com/ . It is a Mom who writes about raising her son Zach while the family lives on a sailboat in a harbor. The quote is in the story about how one of Zach's 'friends' is the 'Queen of England' and he wanted to have high tea with her.

"...Lately Z’s been spending a lot of time with the Queen. And one day he got this idea that he really wanted to have tea with the Queen, not just regular tea, but High Tea. And he wanted it make it and serve it himself. One problem... we didn’t have a proper tea set. After browsing the internet and toy store options, I was told that none were fit for the Queen.

So we did what anyone expecting royalty would do. We went to Goodwill. Rows and rows of mismatched and long forgotten china just waiting to be snatched up at $0.50 pop. He picked out the perfect set, stripes and flowers and gold and blue, and finally had a proper High Tea with The Queen."

If this doesn't make it easier for me to donate things, thinking that some child will need it to have the proper items for High Tea with the Queen, then I'm hopeless.

I went back to Nashville for a week. Got lots done. The house is pretty much empty. The sheds almost gleaned of what items I intend to keep. I go back this next Friday to spend Saturday, my Dad's 90th birthday, with him and then fly home Sunday. Again I'll take two large suitcases, empty, and bring back what will fit. Then, that's it. The house is on the market. I have 2 storage units in Nashville, a 10x20 and a 5x10. Hopefully in September when I go back I can consolidate it all into the larger one. But, the major moving is over. For now.

Back here I have been able to start studying the material to pass the tests I need for work. I wasn't able to concentrate before. I've mostly slept since I got home but I did make some chili to take to work for lunch, and I will make muffins as well. The walking program starts again tomorrow, or maybe tonight if I feel ambitious. The cats were fine when I got home, the caretakers having done their job. They have even settled down from the wrestling and wall climbing for the most part. They curl up together more than they used to. Calm is being restored.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

I have gotten out some and hiked. These pictures are from my trip last weekend.

I drove out to Ozette Lake and did part of the triangle loop that goes from the ranger station at the lake out to the coast. On the way I took this picture of Clallam Bay. The area around here is nice.

I got to the trailhead late, about 3pm. It stays light till after 8:30, so I had plenty of time. I decided that I wasn't ready to camp out on the beach alone, so I set up camp in the campground at the ranger station (no trees, had to use my tent). Then I headed out toward the coast. I took the right hand trail this time. Next time I'll head left, out to where the ranger says there are trees to hang my hammock and camp. No more tents.

I had envisioned a nice, flat walk on the boardwalk for 3 miles out to the coast. However, it was more like 3 miles of steps up and down the small hills between the lake and the ocean. No great elevation changes at any one time, but the sum total of the 3 miles out and back really nailed my legs. Every muscle hurt when I was finally done.

And so, my first real look at the Pacific Ocean. I crossed the Golden Gate Bridge many years ago, but this was my first look at the coastline. It was worth the walk. Next time I will go prepared to do the entire triangle trail, which also includes 3 miles of beach walking between the two boardwalk sections out and back.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

I have spent the past week feeling sorry for myself again. Being a hermit. Sleeping instead of doing anything, surfing the internet at work. The words from Ara in his blog, The Oasis of my Soul:

"... The process is slow, painstaking, but time is present. What else is there but time? These moments I am still allowed to breathe in and out with the good fortune of a certain ability to think. Sometimes feeling as all is stagnant, but it is not. The gears never stop, they turn and turn so smoothly that only when new images come up I am aware of their constant movements."

And the words of John Wells in his blog, The Field Lab, where he talks about feeling like its time to 'get back into the game'. Except that I don't know where the game went. Or it's new rules. Or where I fit.

On Wednesday I go back to Nashville for a week. My Dad is still alive and in the nursing home. Mom chronicles the signs his body is shutting down. She is told by a recent widow the signs that mean 'there's about 2 weeks left at that point' and tells me that those signs aren't there yet. She has sold his lift chair at the apartment, and even his electric scooter. He is bed bound now. They have even stopped taking him to a doctor since it involves using an ambulance to get him there. Comfort is the word, keep him comfortable.

My house needs attention. The yard is wild, and I just got a water bill for $120.00 for last month. This means probably that a toilet is running constantly. I can't get hold of anyone with a key other than Mom, and she says it's storming there so I told her not to bother. I'll pay the bill, and keep trying to get someone else on the phone. When I'm back I will try to get everything closed out and the house put up for sale.

I feel closed in by so little of my life here with me in the West, and closed in by so much left undone back in Nashville. Things will change irrevocably in the next 6 months, or sooner. My Dad will pass, my house will sell. I will come to some resolution on living out here. For now I feel trapped in Jello. I can move, but I can't see clearly and movement seems difficult.

I'm going to try to learn how to sprinkle pictures in my postings without overwhelming the text. Please bear with me.

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This is a picture I took the weekend I hiked the approach trail to the AT a couple of years ago.

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It is a generic enough picture that I can play with it.

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Ok, so now I see what it looks like...

edit: ok, so how do I move it to the right? I know center make it, err, centered, and no positioning bracket says to the right. I think I'm supposed to already know this stuff rather than relying on Photobucket to hand feed it to me. sigh.

edited again: The Photobucket method takes users to my album on Photobucket. I want to just post the picture as a thumbnail. Yes, it's hosted on Photobucket, but I don't want to actually take people there. Guess I'll actually have to look up the correct image tag syntax. Geez...