Three months ago, I never would have imagined that I would be having a brand-new baby girl due on Halloween. After three pregnancy tests confirmed that you were indeed real and not just a figment of my imagination—I was stunned. Your father did not believe it was so—even after three pregnancy tests. We both were in shock because this was not planned. But despite the unforeseen circumstances, we only had one choice and that is to love you and welcome you into the family.

We just knew you would be a boy and your father made sure that your big sister and big brother understood they were having a baby brother. So, when it finally came time for us to have your five-month ultrasound we all were in shock. The ultrasound tech shouted, “It’s a girl!” “Wait. What….” I thought that I was dreaming. Your dad had convinced me that you were a boy. I even had a name picked out. The perfect name– Assad Talib. In that moment, I didn’t care whether you were a girl or a boy, just that you were healthy and that you were indeed. But I would be lying if I was bummed out about having to think of a new name.

When we got home and informed your siblings that you were a girl and not a boy—mixed emotions appeared. Assata, your big sister was elated and started jumping up and down. Tafari, your big brother calmly said, “baby brother.” “No, baby sister,” I explained. “Baby brother” he continued. That was about two weeks ago and he has now come around and understands that you are his baby sister. He even kisses my tummy.

We can’t wait for your arrival Zahara Evelyn. I named you Zahara because it means shining; flower. Names speak life into people and my hope is that you will shine in whatever you set out to do and be as beautiful as a flower in bloom. Until we meet my love, keep jumping all around in my tummy. Mommy loves you, more than you will ever know. See you soon baby girl.

Have you ever wondered if every Mommy had the same struggles and obstacles that you have? Does every Mommy feel like they are carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders? I certainly have so I decided to find out. On Tuesday of this week I got the chance to sit down at Starbucks in downtown Chicago and talk with a working Mom of one, 2 year-old named Camila. I wanted to speak with Sandra to see what it is like for other working Mommies like myself. Sandra is a working mom and has been married for 6 years and has chose not to disclose her age or full name.

Do you want to have more children?

Sandra: yes

Do you work full time and where do you work and what do you do for a living?

Sandra: Yes, I work full time. I work for a college in Chicago and I’m a financial aid administrator.

When you had Camila, how long did you go on maternity leave?

Sandra: I was on leave for 3 months.

Tell me about your return to work?

Sandra: My daughter was 3 months when I came back to work. It was difficult to leave my daughter. I did not want to return but I had to return to work.

Is being a mom and working a full time job stressful? If so how do you manage this stress and balance everything out?

Sandra: I don’t think its stressful because I have the help of my husband and family.

Give me your very best advice for new moms preparing to return to work.

Sandra: Take your time to return to work and don’t get stressed out.

Do you take time from your daughter sometimes and spend with your husband going out together or going away?

Sandra: Yes, we have our date nights, we to the movies or dinner.

What do you do for fun to unwind and take a Mommy break?

Sandra: I go for walks alone or the park to unwind.

Describe a typical work day morning in your household?

Sandra: I wake up at about 5:30 am get ready for work; get my daughter ready for daycare; drop off my husband at the train station and take my daughter to daycare.

Describe a typical after work day (when you get off)?

Sandra: After work I pick up my daughter from daycare; make and eat dinner with my family; take my daughter a bath and get her ready for bed. After I put my daughter to bed I work out then I get ready for bed.

Do you sometimes feel that you need to take more time for just yourself?

Sandra: Yes, because you also need to take care of yourself.

Do you believe that it is important for a Mom to also do what makes them happy outside of being a Mom? What makes you happy outside of being a Mom? What do you really like to do to have fun and unwind?

Sandra: Yes. Being with my family. I like to go to the movies with my sisters or going to an amusement park

How is your life different now than when you were not a Mommy?

Sandra: Before I became a mom I would just get up and go out to do things with my husband or sisters. Now I need to plan when I go out and make sure I have a sitter or if I bring my daughter make sure the place we are going is child friendly.

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