Sorry people, I know there has been a tad of whining in this blog but the wonderful world of shoes seems very confusing lately.

Maison Martin Margiela Painted PVC Booties

Without even going into the specific details of this, such as $900 price tag or the totally unflattering model or why they just did not go to the shop for another can of black instead of releasing it on the market (they surely must have a trainee or fifteen responsible for crucial tasks like that), the two biggest questions in my head are: How could anybody at any point of time think that this is a good idea? And why?

I don’t even longer know, maybe I AM an old prune. Maybe I am not really gettin’ the whole “it” of shoe fashion, maybe I will soon get the same shocked look from my friends as my mom got from me suggesting that I borrow her 3cm heeled (very middle-aged looking) pumps for a school disco eternities ago (yes, I had a horizontally challenged feet area already then). Maybe I am losing a sense of (at least in my opinion) good taste.

But, for the in-my-book considerable sum of €4 505, in the choice between this:

And what the hell, for the additional €35, these AS WELL, together with the two abovementioned pairs:

Christian Louboutin Maggie Glitter and Snakeskin Platform Pumps

I know what option I would go for, after giving a long giggle about the most expensive beads in the history of man.

But some good shall come from the first creation as well. If Kanye’s quote “I’m trying to right my wrongs/ But it’s funny the same wrongs help me write this song,” is true, I think we might have a new album coming out soon. The guy can sing, we all have to give him that.

Feel for a colourful feet vitamin shot but your budget is currently tighter than Kylie Minoque’s hotpants back in those days? As so many times before, Zara is offering a couple of “even more price-worthy than usual” alternatives. And while the pointy (and pink) pumps trend might have faded untill the Summer of 2013, for the modest price tag of app €40 there is no reason for anybody to lose sleep due to potential fashion risks of the next season.

Fashion Court Shoe

And for app €33 there is also a possibility to take a walk in the opposite colour scheme (pun intended):

Coloured Faux Suede Court Shoes

Extra points for the slightly more almond-rounded toe. With all respect to current trends, one of my big toes’ primary needs is still a touch of personal space.

I am not totally sure where the “colourful” came from but I am definitely sold on the beige and blue as well as the pattern. While it probably takes a bit of tan and a drop of red nail polish in order for your feet not to disappear, I definitely find these sandals cute enough to put in an effort at the both.

I know that these shoes will be featured on at least a couple of fashion blogs. I know that the posts will have an exclamation point or two because of their “coolness” “cravings” they ’cause or whatever. And honestly, I do find them somehow in an unexplainable way cute and cool at the same time and I do find them kind off possible on somebody else’s feet. I mean you just need to take a look at your shoes to see how your lipstick is holding up a couple of hours into the night:

YSL Shield Loafer Pump

But right now, the only thing I can think about (without putting any kind of value or opinion in it yada yada and fully aware of totally politically incorrect stereotyping (did I cover it all?)) is “every gay musketeer’s wet dream of all footwear”.

Holy crap of all magpies. This is one detailed hand back of a shoe. And let’s finish with a picture of the bow, just to see if the perfection remains from a real close-up:

Dolce & Gabbana Crystal-embellished Satin Pumps

Well, yes it does. Fascinated by all the perfect shiny bling, with the eyes of a child on Christmas morning while rushing down the stairs, I start wiping of my chocolate stained fingers to at least touch the screen version of the ultimate shoe perfection.

And the illusion snaps together with the price tag making it into my tunnel vision – £2 646.

Fingers gliding automatically into the cookie box again.

Really people? For something, no matter how beautiful it is and it really really is in this case,that will still be in touch with ground and dirt* on daily basis? What is it made from? Unicorn sprinkled magic dust sewn on by hands of thousands little virgin elves? Seriously, my feet are barely worth that much to me.

* Insert optional adult joke about how these shoes are not for walking but for more pleasurable activities, in the air. And in case you are serious with that, planning to get these shoes out of that only purpose, respect to you, your feet and your vagina.