Saturday, March 24, 2007

She was so excited.Work had just ended, and it was time for her and her friends to go out.She changed her outfit three times.Once, because she thought it was a casual night out…then she realized everyone else wasn’t in jeans and a t-shirt.So, then came the halter top with a jean jacket, jeans and boots.When her friend showed up in a black halter with a see-through back and jeans, she knew once again she’d have to change.So, off came the halter and jean-jacket and on came the never-been-worn sparkly red halter made especially for clubbing.With the three of the girls (one a dazzling blonde with a princess crown…it was her birthday weekend, damn it… the other two brilliant brunettes who were looking for a ton of fun)and the blonde’s friend (Colin) going over to the residence hall called Bailey, to use their friends for some alcohol. The girls arrived shortly around 10:30.Dave #2 came up to see the blonde, because well, they’re the best of friends.Green Apple Bacardi was the drink of the hour, and Coke was the chaser.She didn’t have much…if it wasn’t beer, jack, margaritas, pina coladas or smirnoffs, it was gross.The music was up, the dancing was on.She wasn’t being seductive…she wasn’t looking for anything. She just wanted a night out with the girls.That’s all she ever wanted, lately.Guys were too complicated.She had lost friends over them, and they weren’t even worth it.That’s besides the point, though.Brendan and Dave(#1) wanted to go out and meet some ‘honey’s’ as they put it.She just laughed and made fun of them.For one, the other brunette had a massive crush on Dave…as he did on her.They all decided to leave and go to the house party on Milford.Needless to say, it was lame.Girls were free, and there were 3 kegs.However…there were no cups left, and no keg stands allowed. The brunettes, Dave and Brendan left around midnight to go back to the dorm.The girls stopped at Taco Bell just to go to the restroom.And, who should call as she was washing her hands, but one of her favorite people in the world.The one who always could cheer her up, talk to her for no reason,the one who would always be there for her.They fought.Over what?She couldn’t tell you.She just knew that they did. Her happy-go-lucky mood was ruined.Well, only for a second.Brendan knew exactly what to do to make her happy.Give her a hug, tell her she shouldn’t worry about him, and to go have a good rest of the night with them.She agreed (only after a couple more phone calls to him). She went to Rather, first.Hanging out with Darius, Jermel, Darius’s friend, Chantel, and the other brunette was the highlight of her night.Hookah fun, as they called it.Then, the other brunette decided to go to Mark’s room.Bad idea.She was yelling, he was being calm, and she was the referee.She didn’t want to be in the middle of it, and Mark didn’t need it.However, it was happening.She kept apologizing over and over and over to Mark, hoping he would know what had happened in the events of that night. Interesting information was found out.Martin, Dave and Brendan’s friend, had raped a girl.And the stunning blonde they were with, he was looking to be next.Her mouth dropped open in disbelief.The other brunette bugged out and went over to Bailey, where Brendan and Dave were.She followed in suite. She played beer pong.Brendan grabbed her waist and pulled her close.She dodged to the side out of his grasp and threw the ball.It splashed into the cup, spilling it.Paper towel?Of course a guy doesn’t have that in his room.The other brunette went to go look for some.Dave followed.She sat on the couch, watching the basketball game that was on.He sat next to her.No big deal…so she thought.They were talking.He scooted closer.He asked for a hug.Of course!She needed one.She was upset with her best friend.Except, the hug went further than that.It turned into Brendan kissing her neck.She tried letting go of the hug, but he latched on like a leech.She scooted away onto the couch, which didn’t work out too well.She slunk down underneath him, the whole time saying, “Brendan, stop.Brendan, STOP!”.He didn’t stop though.It wasn’t long before his whole weight was basically on top of her.She was freaking out.What was she thinking?It wasn't clear…all she could remember was, ‘I want him here.This can’t be happening to me.It’s NOT going to happen to me.’.She got her arms free, and pushed him hard.Then, when she had enough lee-way, she punched him.A hard right hook into his chin.His hands went to his face, her feet went to the floor.She had never run out of a room so fast in her life.She had never run to her room so fast in her life.She was holding back tears.She wasn’t going to cry.She was stronger than that.She needed to talk to him.She didn’t dare stop though until she was at the dorm. She went to Jermel’s room, just to hang out.She needed to be around people she trusted.Well…she thought she trusted Brendan(didn’t quite work out though, huh?).He knew something was up, as did Gary, Manny, Darius, his friend, the other brunette(she showed up five minutes later), and Charles.The hookah was in full-swing, but she left.Gary asked what was wrong in the hall, but she wouldn’t answer.She just said she was tired and needed sleep.He said okay, and left it at that. Once she got into her room, she locked the door.She collapsed on the futon, tears welling up in her eyes.No.She would not cry.She would not. She wanted nothing more than for her best friend to be holding her and telling her that everything was okay, that nothing happened, and to calm her down.So, she called him.Then, she wouldn’t talk…she knew if she did, tears would fall.She wanted to tell him, and she didn’t.She didn’t want him to know how stupid she had been, how irresponsible.The tears fell, she was choking on them.She was drowning in her own idiotic mistake.She told him she shouldn’t have been in that situation, he would be outrageously upset with her for even being in that situation.She kept telling him that, and after he swore he wouldn’t be mad at her, she told him.The tears fell harder, and he said he was proud of her.She couldn’t believe it.He was proud of her?No ridicule?No lecture?She needed sleep.She could feel herself falling.She didn’t want to let him go.She wasn’t okay.The call was lost, he was gone. He called back two seconds later, saying his battery was dying and he couldn’t talk long.She wanted him there now.He suggested the midnight bus.That didn’t help, seeing as how it was past midnight. He told her to catch the next bus home, he would pay her back when she got there. He told her to write. Write everything down, get it out of her head.It’s what she did best (she said it wasn’t).This is the result.Tears still falling, sleep still hanging over her head like an infant clinging to his mother.Sparty bear in her lap, and a blanket around her shoulders.The story is out, it’s time for bed.But what’ll happen in the morning?

Saturday, March 10, 2007

There will always be at least one person in your life whom you will never forget. One person who knew the most about you, maybe cared the most about you. The person who you could spend a whole weekend together with and not get tired of. The person who you'll let go make out with their boyfriend in the other room just because you're her best friend. Like I said before- there's a line where best friend crosses into something else. And this girl is truly my sister. We have not had a big fight except for almost a year ago- and even then, it was solved within a day or two. This girl is amazing, and I adore her. She let me learn all my mistakes by myself, and when I came crying to her about them, she didn't say 'I told you so'. She held me and helped me, and I do the same for her. We let each other learn our own mistakes, and we comfort each other when we realize we've done something ridiculous. Katie has been through so much in her lifetime, more than I could imagine, but I've been standing right by her through all of it. Not only have I stood by her, she's stood by me and we will continue to do so in our years. It doesn't matter that I don't see her every week like I used to, we're still best friends. She's the one who I can call when I have a bad day, and if she gets in a fight I'm the one who will back her up. I thought I knew what the meaning of 'best friends' and 'sisters' was...but then I realized I didn't at all. The only true 'sister' I have is Katie. It took some recent events for me to figure that out, but she is the only one who, whether she agrees or disagrees with what my actions are, she'll tell me her opinion and then be done with it. She'll let me do what I want to do, what makes me happy. I will not forget this girl in my whole life (and not just because she's going to be there the rest of my life, either). The past 15 years have meant something big to me, and I know they've meant something to her, too. It's amazing how two scared 3 year olds going into dance class can have 15 years to figure things out about each other, form a bond that can never be broken, and become the best of friends there ever will be. No one can understand how close we are, and I think it's confusing to a lot of people. But she's my Katie and I'm her Kris, and it's how we roll. I love you Katie, forever and for always!!

About Me

This started out as just an outlet for my writing...but then, a major event changed my life. Not only College, but being a 20 year old with Rheumatoid Arthritus, a chronic illness that plagues me day-to-day. This has become my story.