This morning Charlie Sheen reported that his SUV, which he left in his open garage with the keys in the ignition, had been stolen. Later it was found totaled at the bottom of a ravine.

Authorities searched for victims with an infrared scanner, but didn't find anyone. Police are looking for a suspect. It seems Sheen wasn't targeted specifically, because other homes in his gated community were also burglarized. [TMZ, TMZ, TMZ]

Though Dr. Conrad Murray is itching to surrender himself to the authorities for his involvement in Michael Jackson's death, prosecutors announced today that charges won't be made until after the case is filed on Monday. [AP]

Did you hear the rumor that Anderson Cooper and his boyfriend are adopting a Haitian baby? Well, it isn't true. "While the plight of children in Haiti has touched us all, and I continue to cover the situation there closely, stories about me adopting a baby are false. I am not adopting a child, Haitian or otherwise," said AC. [ONTD]

Kate Walsh settled her divorce from Alex Young. He wanted several million dollars and spousal support, but he only got $627,000 and half of the residuals from episodes of Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice that she filmed during their 14 month marriage. [TMZ]

Is Christopher Meloni leaving Law & Order: SVU? He told an Australian publication, "I think 12 years is enough, a good number...The writers will have fertile ground to figure out how to arc [Elliot Stabler] out to another place-whether it's this world or the next." [E!]

Though Mackenzie Phillips said in her recent book that her incestuous relationship with her father was consensual, she now says, "As I was writing the book, I thought, this word, it kept sitting wrong with me, but I used it for lack of a better word, and since then I've been schooled by thousands of incest survivors all across the world that there really is no such thing as consensual incest due to the inherent power a parent has over a child." [CNN]

Katie Couric sais of the term "cougar," "I just find it stupid, you know?... I think it also surmises that the older woman is always the pursuer. That's not necessarily true. I always say that maybe the older woman is the prey and someone else is the predator. It's just silly." [Us]

Cher says of filming Burlesque with Christina Aguilera and Kristen Bell, "It's a hard job. You get up at 5 a.m. and you try to look good... All these girls are, like, a third my age. That is rough." [Us]

Two Nicholas Sparks-inspired films, Dear John and Miley Cyrus' The Last Song are coming out in the next two months. "If The Last Song was coming out the same weekend as Dear John, we'd have to collaborate on some sort of sabotage mission," said Amanda Seyfried. "I'd burn it," Channing Tatum added. "I'd sabotage it somehow." [Us]

Kendra Wilkinson and Kim Kardashian pretended to snipe at each other on Ryan Seacrest's radio show because their significant others are on opposing Super Bowl teams. "Let's meet up and I'll poison your coffee and you can give it to Hank!" said Kim. [Us]

"For a long time, I didn't know when I was going to be a father, and now I have two boys," says Tom Brady. "It's a great thing to see them run around at the football game or at least one of them run around." [Us]

Carrie Underwood is nervous about performing the National Anthem at the Super Bowl. "My biggest fear is the words," she said. "Of course you know the words, but if you're going to mess up, that'd be the time, right?" [Us]

"Every time I do an interview with the English press, one of their questions is, 'How do you feel knowing that everyone thinks you're a shit actress?" says Keira Knightley. "You have to be selective about the people whose advice and opinions you take." [Us]

Courtney Love says she bought Frances Bean Cobain a house in December before she lost custody of her. She says, "At Christmas time I bought her a house here. And it took everything - I had to go to somebody else and get them to finance the house, cos they'd frozen my account. And I was gonna blindfold her, put her in her house and go on the road - goodbye! That's it. So, there's no argument. She wasn't very happy living with me, that's OK, she's seventeen. Lenny Kravitz's daughter has her own apartment at sixteen, it's fine. As long as it's around the corner from me and I can have some supervision, it's fine." She added that she thinks Frances will come back to her, "Unless she's really stupid. But she's not stupid. She's really smart." [Radar]