The X-Files

The, deceptively named, X-Files was a mid 90's television show (and eventually a couple of movies) designed to pander to the tinfoil hat wearing market of television viewers. It starred David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson and it is safe to assume that 95% of the show's viewers watched purely in anticipation that something vaguely interesting would happen. They were left very disapointed. Every teenage basement dweller at the time had a major chunk of wood for the red-headed temptress, Gillian Anderson, agent Bitchwhore Scully. As it turns out, David Duchovny is the only one of the pair we've seen have sex (see Californication), but strangely nobody seems to be complaining. Gillian Anderson shared two steamy sex scenes with Danny Dyer in a rape-revenge movie Closure (Straightheads for Britfags), complete with her shriveled MILFtitties and dog nipples.

Starts with useless faggots BAWWWWING about how depressed they are couldn't get into Star Trek, and had to settle for this incredibly interesting and unique show instead. All seems normal for about five seconds until you see some occultist, monster, or some other ingenious innovation. It never kills them in a way that provides any vague hint of logic or commonplace to the viewer, but rather bullshits you out with amazing special effects from the 1990's. The credits then come on. Then, instead of using any remote concept of originality, the 10,000 writers for this show just do the following:

The most popular pairing is MulderxScully (shortened romantically to MulScu or FuckBitch), primarily because they are the only people in the show who don't die within the first four minutes, and ever actually do anything throughout the series. The fans of these two are often 16-year-old-girls and fanboys that fantasize of getting into Scully's tender vagina--the most common plot device for Mulder throughout the story.

Point out any plotholes in the show (there's at least 100 per episode)

Tell them that MulScu never actually happened because the movie was arguably the only thing that could possibly be worse than the actual series

Use science

Ask them why they like the show, then, no matter how they respond, type "You're stupid. The very existence of you makes time progress slower. You useless fuck. If you have any care for the sake of humanity, you will hang yourself in a deep, dark hole where no one will ever find you." Pwn,BAWWW, repeat.