REMEETING HER MATCH

The first time McCarthy was introduced to Ben Falcone, he basically trotted out the tried-and-true "Haven't I seen you somewhere before?" line. It turned out that he had seen her. The two young actors were in the same class at the Groundlings theater company in Los Angeles, in which each student was asked to tell the group a little bit about himself or herself. "I said I went to Southern Illinois University in Carbondale, a tiny little town that nobody's heard of," McCarthy recalls. "And Ben said, 'Thank you very much. I'm from Carbondale.' "

Falcone, who is three years younger than McCarthy, had snuck into college parties in Carbondale with his high school friends. "I knew who you were," Ben told her later. They hit it off immediately. "He is so very smart, so very kind, and really funny. He's one of the most rock-solid people I know. I was just smitten on every level," McCarthy says.

After dating for six or so years, they fretted about getting married. "We wanted to both be working, to be more secure," she says, "all the stupid stuff you think you need to be." By then they were living together, and one day Falcone  who years earlier had nicknamed his sweetie "Mooch"  appeared in the doorway. "I knew he was acting strangely because he said, 'Melissa,' which he doesn't ever call me," she remembers. "I was like, Uh-oh, what'd I do? And Ben says, 'Let's have coffee on the porch,' all weird and nervous. And then the doorbell rings. I had some guy coming over to do yet another project on the house. So I go sit in our den like a dork, playing Tetris on some little device while watching an autopsy on some medical show on TV. Ben bursts in and screams, 'Melissa, will you marry me?' And then he sees the surgery on TV and says, 'Can you please turn that off?! It's really ruining the moment.' "

She said yes. "He makes me laugh so hard that I'm beside myself 10 times a day," McCarthy says. But there is one little thing he does that drives her crazy: "When we're in a hurry, he slows down," she whispers. "He swears he doesn't, but I had a friend over once who said, 'Ben's moving weirdly slowly.' So it's confirmed."

McCarthy can describe herself as a wife in three words: "Scattered, devoted, and..." she says with a sigh, "happy." She and her husband both got a huge career boost from the popularity of Bridesmaids and must now balance their professional lives with marriage and parenting. When their schedules keep them apart, they text and video-chat. And now that they have a nanny  a recent but necessary addition, even for a dedicated hands-on mom like McCarthy  they can have the occasional evening out.

"We do not call it 'date night,' " McCarthy says. "That's too much pressure. But at least once a week, we'll go to dinner, at like five o'clock, so we can get home and put the girls to bed. It's important for us to spend time together away from the kids, to reconnect. Otherwise, we are just texting each other grocery lists  'Don't forget the raisins'  and adding, 'Oh, I love you, BTW' at the end."

THE MOMMY TRACK

Having two young kids, McCarthy admits, "I have mom-brain deluxe. You get real dippy  especially when you're pregnant." In fact, when she first met the creators of Mike & Molly, she was nearly eight months along with Georgette and was thinking that if she didn't get the job, she would stay home with the kids, sew little outfits, and start an eco-conscious kids' clothing line. Winning the role of Molly, she says, changed everything. With Falcone's career prospering, they realized they couldn't juggle it all without help.

Even so, there's guilt. "I sometimes feel like the worst parent on earth," she says. "We're not making our own dye-free vegetable soaps or healing the planet. I think I'm supposed to go to work but also never leave my kids."

Still, it's clear how much joy her children give her. When asked, though, McCarthy says she isn't thinking about having more. "I'd be outnumbered. I'd need a third arm," she jokes. "I think we were hit with the lucky stick and got two good ones."

At just 5, Vivian is starting to show a confident streak she no doubt gets from her mom. "One of the greatest things I've seen her do is not follow the crowd," McCarthy says proudly. "She doesn't try to be contrary, but if all the little girls run over to do something else, Viv will be like, 'No, I think I'll just do this.' I see that and think, Yeah, keep up that sense of self. "

On the other hand, there are times when having kids who were a little less independent might be a welcome concept. Like, for instance, when McCarthy confronts one of parenthood's eternal challenges. "At breakfast, Ben and I battle to get food into the girls," she says, laughing. "Georgie requires a full floor show just to keep her in the chair." That might involve spur-of-the-moment art projects, recapping the adventures of the Bubble Guppies, crazy character voices, and impromptu dance parties in the kitchen. Whatever it takes, really, because Melissa McCarthy will do anything for her kids. And anything for a laugh.

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