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featured book

Discipline That Works

Promoting Self-Discipline in Children

Format

Paperback

Price

$19.00

Paperback

ISBN 9780452266438

288 Pages

1 Aug 1991

Plume

Adult

Overview

Dr. Thomas Gordon, author of the phenomenal bestseller P.E.T., expands the system he developed to help parents to encompass teachers and childcare workers. In Discipline That Works, Gordon provides convincing evidence that punitive discipline is harmful to children and promotes self-destructive behavior and anti-social, aggressive acts. Instead, he offers an important new strategy to help children become more self-reliant, make positive decisions, and control their own behavior.

Table of Contents

Introduction: The Discipline DebatePart I. Understanding DisciplineChapter 1: Defining Terms and Clarifying MeaningsThe Noun and the VerbTeaching Versus ControllingOther-Imposed Discipline Versus Self-DisciplineA Disagreement About LimitsShould I Be Strict or Lenient?The Multiple Meanings of “Authority”The Myth of “Benevolent Authority”Chapter 2: The Traditional Reward-and-Punish ApproachWhere Do Controllers Get Their Power?How Rewards Are Supposed to WorkHow Punishment Is Supposed to WorkThe Conditions for Controlling with Rewards and PunishmentsExternal Versus Internal ControlChapter 3: Why We Can’t Count on Rewards WorkingThe Technology of Controlling with RewardsDifficulties Parents and Teachers Encounter with RewardsA Deeper Analysis of PraiseEffective Alternatives to PraiseChapter 4: The Deficiencies and Dangers of PunishmentIt Takes Expertise to Make Punishment Work“Punishment Is Acceptable if It’s Mild”The Risks of Making Punishment SevereWhen the Cat’s Away…How Punishment Fosters Aggresion and ViolenceAdults Inevitably Run Out of PunishmentsTo the Controller, Power Comes at a PriceChapter 5: How Children Really React to ControlThe Coping Mechanisms Children UseRetaliatory Violence Against ControllersWhen Youngsters “Divorce” Their ParentsSowing the Seeds of Criminal BehaviorThe Failure of Juvenile CourtsWarning: Discipline Is Hazardous to Children’s Health and Well-BeingGetting High and Tuning OutThe Controller’s Loss of InfluenceDo We Want Obedient Youngsters?Part II. Alternatives to Disciplining ChildrenChapter 6: Noncontrolling Methods to Get Children to Change BehaviorChildren Don’t Really MisbehaveWho “Owns” The Problem?Alternative #1: Find Out What the Child NeedsAlternative #2: Let’s Make a TradeAlternative #3: Modify the EnvironmentAlternative #4: The Confrontive I-MessageAlternative #5: The Preventative I-MessageAlternative #6: Shifting Gears to Reduce ResistanceAlternative #7: Problem SolvingAlternative #8: When Angry, Find the “Primary Feeling”How I-Messages Change the SenderChapter 7: New Ways of Governing Families and ClassroomsParticipative ManagementGroups Need RulesThe Six-Step Problem-Solving ProcessConflict-Resolution: The No-Lose MethodDealing with Values CollisionsChapter 8: Helping Children Solve Problems ThemselvesHelping Children Use the Problem-Solving ProcessThe Language of UnacceptanceAcceptance: The Basic Helping AttitudeHow to Demonstrate Your AcceptanceChapter 9: Active Listening: The All-Purpose People SkillMediating Child-Child ConflictsInsuring Good Group DiscussionToward Warner Relationships Between Teacher and StudentsResearch Supporting Facilitative Skills TrainingOther Benefits from Learning the Facilitative SkillsChapter 10: Why Adults Don’t Give Up Disciplining ChildrenThe Doctrine of “Spoiling” ChildrenThe Belief That Children Are Bad by NatureEither-Or Thinking about Adult-Child ConflictsThe Biblical Defense of Punitive DisciplineThe Permissiveness MythAttitudes Against Democratic LeadershipResistance to TrainingFear of Change in the American FamilyResistance to Change in SchoolsChapter 11. How Democratic Relationships Foster Health and Well-BeingReferencesIndex