Michea B | Author | Photographer | Artist | Activist

It’s the little victories that make it worth it

Since coming out in 2014 I’ve been dealing with a lot of people pretty much refusing to acknowledge I’m a man because I still look female. My mother in law even went so far as to not just call it a phase…yeah, I’m 35 and just having a “phase”…right, but to tell me that I can be whatever I want when I’m at home, but when I’m out in the real world I need to look and dress properly. She even bought me blouses to wear when she was still trying to force me to find work.

Thankfully the passive aggressive printing of all of my rejection letters from the jobs I’d applied at shut her ass up about finding work.

Poor Harvey has been struggling with the concept of me being transgender as well, but at least he’s putting in an attempt, unlike other people in my life.

But I think the most amusing and frustrating people to deal with when it comes to my whole “issue” would have to be my step daughter’s maternal grandparents. Let’s just say their family tree branches about as much as a lodge pole pine…or a telephone pole. I swear there’s just two small branches stapled one to it, one is Harvey and the other is one of the girls’ uncles. These guys are hard core Bible thumping idiots, and are partially responsible for a lot of the damages I’ve been working on repairing in their grandchildren.

When my eldest was still in Job Corps we went up to see her for her final presentation. I didn’t know she’d invited…them. I already knew I was going to have to deal with Harvey’s ex-wife (someone I would love to see cut in half by a train…but that would probably damage the train) at the event, but I didn’t expect to see her grandparents.

These were the very people who told her she was too stupid to be of any value in the work force and should just stay on disability. They were the very people who convinced her she had a bad brain, even though when we had limited their contact with her she had shown she could do fractions in her head. They were the very people who HAAAAAAATE me for corrupting their other grandchild with my evil Satanic ways.

Side note, all I did was have Nami actually read the Bible and allowed her to ask questions. Trying to figure out the Satan part still.

Well anyway, we all got there and it was less than two minutes before I wanted to beat these people with a table, but I was told to be on my best behavior so I just bit a giant divit in my cheek instead. When it came time to introduce everyone to her teachers and other guests, my eldest introduced me as her step dad.

The feeling of elation and “YAY!” was short lived…..

She’d barely finished her sentence when the grandfather “corrected” her that I was her step mother. I could see that she was about to argue, and wished I’d had some popcorn on hand. The grandfather (let’s call him Neil) lectured her on how she needed to stop trying to pretend to have gay parents and that God did not approve. Neil told her that I was obviously a woman, and that it was not polite to call me a man just to suit her fantasies.

Should I mention that Neil also still believes that since his daughter and Harvey got married in a church, they were still married even though they are legally divorced? This guy really shouldn’t be lecturing people on fantasies.

I could see that the other guests were becoming really uncomfortable, so I decided to speak up.

I smiled and said, “No, she’s right. I’m her dad and please stop telling her she’s wrong about something you don’t know about.”

The look on the grandmother’s face was priceless.

I politely explained to one of the guests that I was a trans man and apologized for any confusion that may have arisen from my appearance versus how my kid spoke about me.

For the rest of the time we were there, Neil just GLARED at me. If looks could kill I would have been a pile of ashes.

Since that event, he has gone out of his way to ignore me whenever he is at the house, talks behind my back about how horrible I am as a parent to his “darling” grandchildren, and tries to bad mouth me to people. He did that ONCE around Nami. It ended with me having to rush from my house to their house a town over to remove her before police were called because she decided at that point that she wanted to see if she could cause Neil to have a stroke…or at the very least wind up in the hospital in some way.

Yay for damage control, right?

Probably doesn’t help that within the first year of dealing with Neil that I got in his face and told him that he was not welcome in my house. I had informed him that the only reason I tolerated him was because my girls wanted him around, and that I would only allow him on my property long enough to pick up or drop off the girls. When he tried to pull the “Men are the rulers of women!” Bible bullshit, he found out he’d made a huge mistake. He didn’t know that I was a licensed minister and that I knew WAY more about the Bible than he did.

After I got bored of his sputtering and flailing to Bible at me, I informed him he had until I unlocked my phone before I called the police to remove him from my property.

Never seen an inbred creeper move so fast. He got in his creeper van and left so quickly his Tinkerbell sticker had to hang on for dear life.

Yes, this is a grown man who has a Tinkerbell fetish. But remember, he’s all Jesus and shit, so it’s OK.

Not creepy at all, right?

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Published by Michea B

I am a trans man who hails from southern Oregon. I work as a freelance writer and photographer, as well as work as a volunteer activist. I create whimsical clay creations and make YouTube videos on social issues.
View all posts by Michea B