Friday, July 29, 2005

Law of the Seed

Take a look at an apple tree. There might be five hundred apples on the tree, but each apple has just ten seeds. That's a lot of seeds! We might ask, "Why would you need so many seeds to grow just a few more apple trees?" Nature has something to teach us here. It's telling us: "Not all seeds grow. In life, most seeds never grow. So if you really want to make something happen, you had better try more than once."

This might mean: You'll attend twenty interviews to get one job. You'll interview forty people to find one good employee. You'll talk to fifty people to sell one house, one car, one vacuum cleaner, one insurance policy, or a business idea. And you might meet a hundred acquaintances just to find one special friend. When we understand the "Law of the Seed", we don't get so disappointed. We stop feeling like victims. We learn how to deal with things that happen to us. Laws of nature are not things to take personally. We just need to understand them - and work with them.

IN A NUTSHELL: Successful people fail more often. But they plant more seeds. When Things Are Beyond your control, here's something that you must NOT DO so as to avoid misery in your life:

- You must not decide how you think the world SHOULD be.

- You must not make rules for how everyone SHOULD behave.

Then, when the world doesn't obey your rules, you get angry. That's what miserable people do! On the other hand, let's say you expect that:

- Friends SHOULD return favours.

- People SHOULD appreciate you.

- Planes SHOULD arrive on time.

- Everyone SHOULD be honest.

- Your husband or best friend SHOULD remember your birthday.

These expectations may sound reasonable. But often, these things won't happen! So you end up frustrated and disappointed. There's a better strategy. Demand less, and instead, have preferences! For things that are beyond your control, tell yourself: "I would prefer "A", but if "B" happens, it's OK too!" This is really a change in mindset. It is a shift in attitude, and it gives you more peace of mind ...: You prefer that people are polite ... but when they are rude, it doesn't ruin your day. You prefer sunshine...but if it rains, it is ok too!

To become happier, we either need to change the world or change our thinking. It is easier to change our Thinking! In summary: It is not the problem that is the issue, but rather it is your attitude attending to the problem that is the problem. It's not what happens to you that determine your happiness. It's how you think about what happens to you!