Charred Green Bean and Lentil Salad + Giveaway

Intro

We had two children in diapers when we started dating at home. All three of them were in bed by 7:00 pm and generally we could count on a quiet house around 7:30. We weren’t getting a lot of sleep at night, they surrounded us morning, noon, and night, and they needed us constantly. In that season it seemed as if our only way to stay connected regularly was to make our home a setting for us to date.

So we shoved the crayons off the table, tucked the dirty laundry under the couch, and maybe lit a candle or two before sitting down to dinner; just the two of us. These evenings turned into a cookbook, as many of you know, and more importantly they sustained our marriage in a time where we had to fight with intention and battle through the exhaustion.

Now our three are in school. They are much more independent, waking up to pour their own bowls of cereal or toasting their own bread. They can handle putting on their pants, packing up their bags, and while we do still step on small toys on an almost daily basis we don’t have to be afraid that any of them will put them in their mouths. They’re in bed by 8:00 but the house is still buzzing with little chatter until 9:00. They have so much to catch up on after being away from one another all day.

Let me just pause for a moment and assure those of you who are reading this with a baby on your lap or a toddler pawing for your attention, that someday those little ones will grow older. They won’t demand as much of you as they do now and they will grow into amazing little people and you get to watch it all. It’s as wonderful, hard, and fulfilling as you hope it will be.

Gabe and I have had a clunky return to dating at home this year. We would set aside the time but without having a book to write and honestly, I had needed a bit of space from it all, it just seemed too hard. But the necessary things in life are often the hardest and our failure to date has, at many times, left us feeling very distant and disconnected. It shows up in small ways like when I take a comment he makes and meet it with defense because I’m feeling guilty for not making more intention to connect. Or when I say something I shouldn’t in a tone that nobody wants to hear because I’m feeling vulnerable. We have felt the effectiveness of our weekly dates and can now quickly recognize the difference in our friendship when we connect regularly and when we don’t.

It wasn’t until we released what those date nights used to be and started to see that now, in a new season, they can be something else completely. The point isn’t the multi-course meal eaten while three kids sleep in the comfort of our home. The point is connection and we must actively pursue that in any and every season for our relationship to continue to thrive. What once worked so well for us may look different now that so many other things in our life look different. Once we embraced that thinking about dating, it felt new, exciting, and possible again.

We still sometimes sit down to our table once the house is quiet, with a glass of wine in hand and a meal that suits our tastes. Sometimes it’s a simple picnic on the beach that is now just a short walk from our new home. Or sometimes it’s going out to breakfast after our three kids are off to school. The point is still the same it just may look a bit different now. No matter the season the point is to continue to pursue one another in friendship. As long as that is the constant we can weather any season.

This particular date we packed a simple picnic and walked down the beach. Most of the items in our basket I picked up from the store like cheese, crackers, pickled things, (my most favorite picnic item) fruit, and wine. I did manage to make us a simple salad. One that has been on repeat since. It’s a mix of all things green: charred green beans cooked until sweet, peppery arugula, green lentils boiled with a bit of bite still remaining, and pistachios. And then, though not green, lots and lots of seeds – toasted until deeper in color and fragrant. The type of seeds depends only on the contents of my pantry but I have found that fennel, cumin and sesame all play a vital role. If pistachios aren’t readily available, pumpkin seeds do nicely as well. We top our salad with large flakes of smoked trout, but I’ll leave that up to you as well.

As I mention in the video below, the picnic really isn’t about the food. Of course that’s what often inspires the trip or gets me giddy about it all in the first place but once we’ve set up the blanket, unloaded the basket, and cleaned our plates, that’s when the purpose of our time reveals itself. Food and a bit of wine become the icebreaker and ease us into the point of it all – connection. It’s why I love food so much; it gives us a purpose for gathering around the table, or in this case, the beach. What happens while the food and wine are being enjoyed is what matters most.

To enter, simply leave a comment below and I will randomly select a winner on October 16th. (Must be 21 years of age or older to be eligible to win. Residents of Utah are not eligible to participate. Link to official rules at LINK HERE.)

Charred Green Bean and Lentil Salad

Serves 2 (with some to spare)

1 cup French green lentils (if you can find them, if not another type will do)

Cook the lentils in salted water until just tender. Drain them then run under cold water to halt the cooking. Set the lentils aside.

In a large skillet set over high heat add a couple glugs of olive oil then toss in the green beans. Sprinkle in a hefty pinch of salt then let the beans get a nice char on one side before giving them a stir. Continue to saute in this way until the beans are tender and charred on most sides, about 5 to 7 minutes. Let the beans sit for a moment while you make the vinaigrette.

In a large bowl whisk together the shallot, dijon, honey, vinegar, and olive oil. Season with a bit of salt and pepper to taste. It should taste bright and briny as it will taste more mellow once all the ingredients have been added.

To the bowl add the green beans and lentils. Toss to combine.

Finally add in the toasted seeds in whatever variety you have but I really love a sesame, poppy, fennel, mustard and cumin mixture. Nigella seeds are really lovely too if you happen to have them.

Also add the pistachios and finish with a bit of flake salt.

If you are packing this for a picnic line the bottom of your container with arugula then top with the lentils. If a picnic is not in the plans then simply toss the arugula in with the lentils and finish with big flakes of smoked trout. Serve immediately.

I have tried SO many recipes from this blog, and I think I’ve made every single item from your Modern Comfort column over at Food52, and I’m working my way through your cookbook at the moment. I just had the apple cake for breakfast this morning, and we had the Caribbean chicken legs and sweet potatoes over the weekend! Everything you make is fantastic! I’d love to enter your giveaway, too! Thanks for everything you do!

Thank you for reminding those of us with kids how important it is to make time to foster our relationships with our significant others. I love this recipe too, going to make it tonight and attempt my own date night!

Lovely, my guy and I regularly cook/prepare food for outside adventures. The recipe is something we will definitely make, and the fish looks amazing!! This is a super gift, thanks for having the contest!

I told my husband this weekend, one of the best things we have done as parents is make the kids think it is a treat to read in bed. Sometimes, we can get away with putting them to bed early because they don’t have to go to sleep, they have a flashlight and they like to read. Leaves more time for us to be together! Thanks for your ideas that make it just that much more special to spend time together.

Thank you so much for sharing your “date night” ideas! We have two 30 something daughters with busy husbands, and multiple little ones running around, and my husband and I totally understand the “continued connection” needs. Your menu, ideas, and family togetherness is awesome. Thank you, thank you, for sharing all of it!!

My husband and I have been married for only a year, and we don’t have any kids yet. But we work more or less opposite schedules, and it gets crazy. A few months ago (after reading your book, incidentally) we made a commitment to go out for coffee once a week. It’s our holding ground, and what makes it possible to keep this crazy schedule going. The salad looks fantastic.

Usually, my fingers flit and then fly by most emails/blogs. Not this time! You are right on the money–staying connected to your partner is crucial. We have 2 out of the house and 1 to go. We love them and miss their company, but not having them around gives us the opportunity to bring forth the memory of falling in love 32 years ago. The candle still burns after all this time!

Thanks for the reminder that you can keep evolving what “dates” look like as the demands on your time change – with life, with children growing up, etc. This looks lovely – we love charred green beans.

This salad looks wonderful. Not a fan of smoked fish but my husband would love it. The cheese, bread and other items look great. I love the idea of taking the time. No matter how long you’ve been married sometimes you just have to take time out of busy schedules and break bread together. Thank you.

This is such a beautiful reminder of the way food brings us together. You write with such sincerity and vulnerability. I don’t have kids but have felt the same struggle of allowing life’s busy seasons to get in the way of connecting and that same distance has creeped in to my life. This post touched an important note in my own life especially as I am doing my best to be intentional about connecting with loved ones too. Thanks for your beautiful words!

I’m fairly new to your website but along with the wonderful recipes your sharing of commitment was very meaningful. I too love to share food with family and friends. Before my husband of 38 years passed away 14 years ago, we shared many date nights. Now. I share with family and friends. Can’t wait to try the salad and apple pie. Thank you for the creative recipes.

what a pretty picnic! and I noticed the pretty blanket before I even read you were giving one away 🙂 Always love reading pieces of your heart and how you and Gabe figure through life together. It’s inspiring. xo

Beautiful post, which hits very close to home for me right now, having just moved into a new house with a toddler…man, my husband and I could use a break to reconnect right now. It is difficult to keep in mind the long game during the tough days, but we try. This looks delicious!

Hi Ashley!
I especially liked this post – it helped remind me of the things that are important in a relationship and that relationships will not always be a piece of cake! As always, your food looks fantastic and how fun to picnic at the beach.

I’ve been following your blog for years…Perfect Fall Sandwich is a favorite in our house and the Salted Chocolate Chip Cookie. With a three year old and one on the way, we need a picnic more than ever.

Ashley – Thank you for the beautiful reminder to reconnect with my husband (and in such a simple but special way). Our kids are now mostly grown – 3 have left the nest and 2 of those have come back; and the “baby” is finishing high school. Probably more important than ever to carve out some special date time!

Your blog is so lovely, I’ve been a fan for many years. I look to this site for the best photos and inspiration on any given day. Your words are special and you are so genuine. Thank you for sharing your life with us!

Wow, that looks amazing! My husband and I live 9 minutes from the beach. We will have to do this together! We have also fallen victim to dating in while the kids were sleeping. We went to the movies alone for the first time in three years just last week! I also absolutely love that blanket! Do you happen to know who makes it?

This is amazing. I love your blog and how honest you are. I got your cookbook for Christmas and it has become a fast favorite. My husband and I made your green curry tonight and added in the bahn mi meatballs from your blog–absolutely amazing. Everything we’ve made has been insanely delicious. Thanks for sharing your life and recipes with us!

I always loved your blog posts about dating your husband. It is so important to connect as a couple.
Your kids may feel like the centre of their universe, but we are only caretakers helping them to become sufficient and successful in their own lives. You are a great example to your kids and others.

One of the most important aspects of a healthy marriage is giving each other time to connect. My husband and I are 22 years in, with two boys. When they are little you think you are so busy and now I have a 13 year old and a 9 year old and we never seem to slow down. It is more important now than ever before to spend time together “on a date,” I guess because that kind of time is so precious. And it is really easy to just let the business of life take over. I always enjoy your blog! Today was wonderful, I especially value your candor. I can hardly wait to make the salad!

Oh how your timing was so poignant! Our seasons are too changing; and while we are excited, there is a tinge of nervousness that resides in our hearts and minds. We are trusting our Guide and trusting in what we have in each other. I will say with assurance, a picnic basket with a lovely bottle of wine will definitely make for a good moment – maybe multiple – in this new season. 😉 Thanks always for sharing and for truly caring!

The effort that you put into your relationship is inspiring. It’s so easy to become complacent and overwhelmed with small children, and this just really struck a chord with me: “It shows up in small ways like when I take a comment he makes and meet it with defense because I’m feeling guilty for not making more intention to connect. Or when I say something I shouldn’t in a tone that nobody wants to hear because I’m feeling vulnerable. “

i look forward to your blog posts – they have calmed me down at times and given me hope that a marriage, buried under the beautiful, yet heavy, weight of children can still be connected and rooted in friendship.

I’m a homebody and my husband has learned that if he doesn’t gently insist on a date night that I’ll let weeks go by without thinking about it. There is really so much to be said for the refreshment and calm of intentional time together. Thank you for your encouragement in an important tank-filling practice together!

I love this post. So honest. The part where you say how small children do get older made me tear up. Having 2 twin toddlers brings challenging times. Thank for this, Ashley! (That basket is really cute. ) 🙂

A great reminder that life changes with the maturation of kids and the friendship with your spouse needs to be flexible to respond to all the variations life throws at you. Thank you! I love hearing from moms who are just that much farther down the path than I am.

I or should I say we just bought your book. I’m so excited to share these recipes with my family. And I’m also excited to start dating my husband again. It is can be so hard to stay connected. With my husband working full time, me a full time mom and new student. It can be overwhelming at times. But I’m truly grateful you wrote this book!!! Thank you for all that you share.

This salad looks delicious and easy! Thank you for the recipe, and the chance to enter the giveaway. There’s someone in my life who has never been on a picnic, so if I’m able to win, I know exactly whom will benefit!

my fiance and i bought a picnic blanket a long time ago with the intention of having regular picnic dates. they didn’t happen, not a single one actually, but we still have the blanket, so there’s still time!

Thanks for turning the idea of a picnic away from bringing the whole family – which is what we’ve been doing for years! I’d gotten so wrapped up in it having to be the four of us that I’d forgotten my husband and I were picnic-ing together loooonnnng before either of the girls arrived. What a gorgeous video! We’re so lucky to live in the PNW!

The beach is beautiful. What a great quiet atmosphere for a date night. It is so hard to make yourself get away with your spouse. Our time gets so wrapped up in the kids. Thanks for sharing great ideas.

I love your ideas – me and my mister now date-night-in, too, thanks to your inspiration. We both lead busy and demanding careers and it’s so important to give time to each other, even though it’s tough. Thanks for sharing your experiences (and recipes)!

Thanks to you and your beautiful cookbook, my husband and I have been doing regular date nights at home for the last 6 months. It really has made a difference in our relationship and how we connect. Thank you.

Thank you for the beautiful honesty you share with us with every post. I cannot wait to pick up some green beans from the store to make this delicious recipe. Your thyme/parmesan sweet potatos from your book are a hubby (& toddler–hooray!) favorite.

This is such a lovely post and reminder! My kids are now tucked in bed by 8 and sleeping through the night. I’m inspired to have a glass of wine and a bite of cheese with my hubby while snuggling on the couch – it’s our version of a perfect mini-date!

I am so grateful for your date night in book. In this season of financial tightness, this book made my husband and I realize it’s still possible to date even without going out! Thank you for sharing your family’s journey with us!

I love how your date nights remind me to connect with the people in my life who mean the most. This is such a lovely dish, and that picnic basket is perfection. I’m in love with the wine holder on the outside of the basket.

I totally agree on the disconnection when we don’t take time to make time for one another as a couple. We tend to focus on the parent side more. I guess, just like food and just like this picnic, relationships need an extra effort to work out well.
I love charred anything, okra being my favorite but will try with beans next time.

Love the simple and healthy salad. Green beans and lentils are two of my favorite things. I also appreciated hearing about your experience recognizing importance of connecting with your spouse during busy times – we don’t have kids yet, but I want to try to be intentional about making our home into a space where we can have intentional time together when the little ones are in bed.

Lovely post! I really agree with everything that you say about how important it is to connect with your partner, and how the means by which you connect may change over time but that doesn’t have to be a negative thing at all. Thank you for sharing this private glimpse into your personal life. I live very close to the beach but have never owned a proper picnic basket or blanket. This set would be lovely to have 🙂

My hubby and I love making recipes out of your book, and I’m always thrilled to see when you’ve posted something new to your new blog! Thanks for your honesty and candor about the ever-sharpening journey of marriage.

Making this salad tonight. While it’s not quite outdoor picnic weather on the East Coast any longer, perhaps we can have an indoor date night picnic. My parents used to do that with me and my siblings when we were kids!

What a brilliant giveaway! The recipe looks amazing and right up my alley. I love the idea of picnics in the park and on the beach, but have always thought of buying a basket as an indulgence that I can’t quite afford. Here’s hoping I get lucky!

I loved this post – such true comments about raising children – amazing, hard and enjoyable all at once. The importance of carving out time for your spouse and changing how that looks based on the season of your life.

My husband of 36 years and I, with kids long gone, have what I call “Play Day” almost weekly. It can be a movie, a trip to Swanson’s in my old neighborhood, a hop on the ferry to Whidbey or, when we splurge, a weekend in Cannon Beach. The connection always improves and we can ignore obligations and chores and focus on having fun and remembering why we got married and still enjoy each other after all this time. Keep it up!

What a wonderful post. This is a great outlook on relationships and it’s inspiring to see you so successfully pull it off. I’m also excited for a recipe that will get me out of my green bean stir-fry rut!

I wholeheartedly agree that it is important to connect with each other, no matter how small the gesture or simple the words. A little random email or text, buying some favourite food treat (ie, stilton cheese!) can go a long way.
We love a picnic on the beach, my partner will kayak there, I’ll make a nice little picnic and meet him there as he his pulling his boat in. It is so lovely!
Thank you for your blog, it’s wonderful.

OH yes please. Yes to reconnecting with our spouses in this the busy season of our lives, and to doing it with a return to date nights. Yes to a perfect lentil salad and to wine and a picnic on the beach. Yes, yes, yes to all of this. It’s like you wrote this for me…now I just need to follow your script 😉

Thank you for being so open. My husband and I don’t even have kids and feel this way a lot just because of work. We have pretty regular date nights at home and they range from very simple to hours in the kitchen preparing a meal together. They are all special to me and are important for our relationship. Your book gave is the idea to make them regular. Thank you.

Oh, I would love this! My fiancé and I have spent most of our 7 year relationship long distance, but that will change soon. I’m looking forward to seeing him everyday and to introducing regular dates back into our lives.

With some family stuff going on, I’ve also found it hard to find time to do little date-like things with Eric. But I think your point is excellent… it doesn’t have to be this big hand crafted meal. It can be little activities: a walk on the beach, a trip to a museum, a drive along the coast. Just spending a few hours together without distractions. Thank you for sharing this. 🙂

I love reading your comments on yours and Gabe’s friendship. It’s such an encouragement in my marriage to be intentional and pursue connection. And of course, the food you prepare always looks amazing… Thank you, Ashley!

I love how you talk about seasons and how they change. Not in the weather sense but in your relationship, in your home. What used to look one way when you have small children changes and looks different when they get a little older. If something is important (date nights) you have to adapt. Thanks for sharing this beautiful video!

So I made this tonight for dinner, not for a date night, because I am happy single lass. Nevertheless, WOW, what a lovely subtle blend of flavors. Thank you again for sharing your delicious creations with us. 🙂

This salad is crazy good!!! Thank you so much for sharing. I made a few modifications due to what I had on hand but it was still so amazing. I was skeptical after making the dressing that it would be too brine-y but you’re right, once everything comes together, the flavors work extremely well together. The modifications that I had to make were kale instead of arugula, red wine vinegar in place of white wine vinegar, and then the seeds/nut combo I used included sesame, poppy and cashew pieces. The toasted-ness of the seeds/nuts really helps to elevate the flavors of this salad. I just can’t say enough good things about it. Thank you for sharing such a fantastic gem of a recipe! Definite keeper 🙂