Dear Lifehacker,I just recently started dating someone that I work with. We both want to continue our relationship, but we're not sure how to involve our mutual employer. Should we contact HR? How do we go about separating life and work?

Sincerely,Romcom Inc.

Dear Romcom,The very first piece of advice you're likely to get when you start talking about dating coworkers is "Don't do it." While this isn't the worst bit of wisdom in the world, you also can't always help where you meet someone. In fact, according to a CareerBuilder survey of 4,000 workers, nearly 40% of people have dated a coworker in the past. Of those people, 30% even said it led to marriage! There are a few things you need to keep in mind before you try to pull it off, though.

Check Your Company's HR Policy Pronto

When it comes to employee fraternization, every company has their own policy and there aren't any hard and fast rules across the board. Your company's primary concern will be minimizing the fallout should a relationship go south. As business blog Inc. explains, there are a few different types of approaches they may take to limit liability while balancing your freedom with their safety:

They may do nothing. Sometimes new or smaller companies may rely solely on their harassment policies to avoid any legal problems, leaving employees to decide for themselves who to date. This can be freeing, but it also means that if there are any abuses (say your boss is giving preferential treatment to his girlfriend), you might not have any recourse.

They may allow dating with anyone but your direct boss. One of the more common types of policies allows employees to date so long as neither person is the other's supervisor or makes decisions regarding the others' employment, benefits, time off or any other perk.

They may require written disclosure. While it's not as common, some employers may require employees to sign a form stating their involvement with each other. These are frequently accompanied by rules regarding in-office behavior. You should probably talk to a lawyer if you can before signing one of these.

They may ban fraternization entirely. This type of policy isn't entirely uncommon, but it's also pretty difficult to enforce. Regardless of how well your company is able to effectively define "fraternization," if this is your employer's policy, you'll need to exercise the most caution (and seriously consider not doing go ahead with the relationship).

If you're considering dating a coworker, finding out what the policy is before you initiate a romantic relationship will typically be better than springing it on your bosses six months in. Once you know what the policy is (and assuming it isn't the zero-tolerance type), you can move on to phase two.

Avoid Any Conflicts of Interest

While employers may be becoming more friendly towards workplace dating, that tolerance quickly flies out the window when one employee starts dating their direct superior. If you or your significant other manages groups of people, conflicts of interest can arise no matter how careful you are to treat your partner fairly. Even if you do everything perfectly, your company won't want to deal with the inevitable complaints from people who see a situation differently. If you are your partner's supervisor, talk to your employer about changing positions or departments if possible.

Even if you're not in a boss-employee relationship, you'll still want to be sure to keep your relationship a private matter at work. Reader Scott Oldfield originally met his wife at work 14 years ago and explains how he went on to date and eventually marry her, all while they both continued to work for the same employer:

Our employer is totally fine with relationships in the workplace as long as those involved keep things professional in the workplace. My wife and I pretty much treat each other just like coworkers at work. There's no physical affection, no "I love you's" at work. It's almost like we're different people at work, which is a good thing and has only gotten easier the longer we've done it. We'll occasionally talk about home-related things (one of the dogs did such and such last night), but again it's never anything that I'd be embarrassed if anyone else at work heard.

Obviously, this depends a great deal on the environment at your office and your company policy. However, keeping your work life professional and treating your significant other as you would any other coworker will go a long way towards ensuring you don't end up in trouble with the company.

Coordinate Schedules for Both Work and Play

So, let's assume that you've pulled off the unlikely and you're not only dating one of your coworkers, but you have your company's approval to do so. You've even mastered turning off the flirting at work. All that's left is to make sure you can, you know, keep that relationship.

How you prioritize your scheduling can depend on your personal preferences, but chances are you'll want to get your boss involved at some point to coordinate schedules. It may be something as simple as syncing vacations, but you may find that your company will be willing to help you arrange your days off in order to spend time together. In fact, as reader Daniel Brown points out, they may prefer it that way, lest you find your own way:

My current girlfriend of 6 years and I work together still. We met here and have since moved in together and I plan to marry her. I told HR but she said there weren't any forms or anything and we didn't really have to tell her. My manager was the one to actually bring it up first since he saw us together a lot and I called in sick on one of her days off. He pretty much just said, it's cool if you are dating but don't call in sick on her days off. Schedule a day off together.

This is obviously a great lesson in both the right way and the wrong way to do things. Quite simply, if you need time together, don't sneak behind your employers back (they'll probably know anyway). Instead, involve them from the get-go and they may be willing to help you out in the first place.

While dating a coworker can be difficult, it's not impossible if you're both professional and take the proper steps to discuss your relationship with your employer in a situation where it may affect your work.