Tag: problems

When Everything Falls Apart

We often have the perception that self-growth will be simple, enjoyable, and rewarding. It certainly can be, but there is also another aspect of the self-growth journey that is rarely mentioned. And that is, when everything falls apart.

Deep-rooted beliefs

One of the major parts of self-growth is learning how to look inside yourself and get clear about certain things. Most often, this involves recognizing and dissolving inner blockages.

These are usually deep-rooted beliefs that we formed in childhood, or at least the early part of our lives. Sounds good, right?

It’s very good, actually, because these beliefs are usually what prevent us from living fully productive lives. These are the beliefs that keep us stuck in self-destructive patterns. They have a negative effect on all aspects of our lives. So dissolving them is an excellent idea.

The problem is that these deep-rooted beliefs are part of the foundation upon which our current lives are built. When we dissolve inner blockages, there are suddenly gaping holes in our foundation, which cannot support what is resting above them.

Inevitably, something will slip down into the hole, causing pain and turmoil and terror.

Real-life scenario

That’s what happened to me this week. My eyes were opened in a big way about a blockage I had been struggling with since early childhood. I finally felt totally clear on why it was there, and I understood exactly what I needed to do to dissolve it.

Suddenly became a lie

So, I set about doing just that — and then everything fell apart. That’s the understatement of the century. Everything I thought I knew about my life suddenly became a lie, and I was shaken to my very core.

I spent a couple of days feeling shell-shocked. Then another couple of days grieving. Then the light dawned. Finally, I understood what was happening, and I could see clearly how everything is interconnected.

It was no accident that everything fell apart just when I was finally making progress on my inner blockages. They fell apart BECAUSE I was making progress on my inner blockages.

Controlling feelings

However, in trying to control her feelings, others’ feelings and the outcome of things, Barbara may have been causing her illness. The underlying cause of her negative thinking was her devotion to this control.

The problem with all of this is that it is based on an illusion – the illusion of control. The fact is that Barbara could not foresee every event that could cause her some pain.

She was devastated every time something happened that she had not thought of beforehand. How could something painful come out of the blue like that? How could she have not foreseen it?

The paradox

The paradox of all of this is that, in trying to foresee future catastrophes, Barbara was not present in the moment. Real safety is in being present in the moment so we can respond appropriately to whatever is happening in the moment.

When we are fully present in the moment, we are available to receiving information from our inner Guidance. All of us have a Source of Guidance that is always available to us. Guidance that is always here to help and protect us. But we can access our Guidance only when we are fully present in the moment, not when we are trying to control the future.

Better days

Barbara is in the process of becoming more aware of her negative thinking. She is not yet healthy, but she has some better days now, days that are lighter and more fun.

Moving out of negative thinking is a process that takes time. If you are a negative thinker, you have been practicing this form of thinking your whole life. It is not going to stop in a day. But if you tune into the stress you feel and learn to connect your stress with your negative thinking, you can slowly change this pattern.

Vitality and joy can be the result of letting go of your negative thinking and learning to be present in the moment.

What money cannot buy

All the money in the world will not take away your fears and anxieties. You can be the most successful person in your business, however your money and success will do nothing in getting rid of your stresses and anxieties.

So what do you do to make your fears and anxieties to go away? Well, since money and fame are not the answers, then the best solution is to be smart in how you manage your fears.

Ways in how to manage your persistent fears and anxieties

Take it one day at a time. Instead of worrying about how you will get through the rest of the week or coming month, try to focus on today.

Each day can provide us with different opportunities to learn new things and that includes learning how to deal with your problems.

Focus on the present and stop trying to predict what may happen next week. Next week will take care of itself.

Learn how to manage your fearful thoughts that may be difficult to manage.

When experiencing a negative thought, read some positive statements and affirmations that help lift your spirits and make you feel better.

Remember that your fearful thoughts may be exaggerated so balance these thoughts with realistic thinking and common sense.

Take advantage of the help that is available around you. If possible, talk to a professional who can help you manage your fears and anxieties. They will be able to provide you with additional advice and insights on how to deal with your current problem.

Great help

It will be of great help in the long run, if a person is talking to a professional. He may be able to deal with their problems in the future. Managing your fears and anxieties takes practice. The more you practice, the better you will become.

When managing your fears and anxieties do not try to tackle everything at once. The best solution is to break your fears or problems into a series of smaller steps.

Completing these smaller tasks one at a time will make the stress more manageable and increases your chances of success.

Managing your fears and anxieties will take some hard work. Sooner or later, you will have to confront your fears and anxieties. Remember that all you can do is to do your best each day, hope for the best, and take things in stride.

Patience, persistence, education, and being committed in trying to solve your problem will go along way in fixing your problems.

The secret is not a secret at all

Many people try to use the Law of Attraction to build a life that is truly worthy of them. They become frustrated at their lack of progress simply because they have gotten the order of manifestation wrong. Don’t fall into the same trap. The secret is learn that you must first be what you want. Do what you is necessary to achieve it, so that you can pursue your desire.

The hindrance

One of the biggest problems people find when they try to use the Law of Attraction for the first time is resistance from the outside world. It seems that no matter what they do the world pushes against them. It appears that the harder they strive for their desires the more the world pushes back. They then fall into the trap of blaming the world for their woes or even blaming God. A disastrous mindset to have if you wish to successfully and consciously employ the Law of Attraction to your advantage.

Thoughts to ponder

Mahatma Ghandi, the great Indian leader who peacefully freed his country from British rule, told his followers, “become the change you want to see in the world.”

Those words are just as true today as they were when this wise man walked the planet. In order to have what you want you must be willing to do what is necessary to achieve it. It can only be achieved when you become the very thing you want.

Change

The Law of Attraction can bring you anything and everything you want. In fact, anything you can hold in mind can be yours if you follow the rules of this Universal Law.

Trying to change other people or change the world is the wrong approach to achieving your dreams. You must change yourself. By holding in mind the things you want and believing that it is truly possible for you to have them you will immediately begin to attract them. However, if you wish to change the world or other people you are holding in mind the very things you do not want.

You are affirming to yourself that things are not OK the way they are. Thinking that the people and environment around you is a certain way “the way you don’t want it to be.” The Law of Attraction immediately kicks in and you begin to attract more of those things.

By allowing the world and other people to be fine the way they are you will begin to embrace the moment and unleash your true power to create. You cannot change the world and you cannot change others but you can change yourself. This is where your true power lies.

When you change yourself internally the world around you begins to change as you start to attract people, circumstances, situations and physical objects that reflect your changed beliefs, attitude, thoughts and feelings.

“A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love.” – Pearl S. Buck

When two people get married, it means they are making a big commitment. It means they should stay with each other through sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, till death do them part.

Getting into a marriage relationship is the sign of the fullness of their deep romantic love for each other. Yet, their love for each other is tested in the course of time. First, there would be the adjustment period. All couples go through that. There is a saying that you only get to know the person if both of you are living under one roof.

The routine of everyday life brings unrealistic expectations. Marital disenchantment comes in and it is expressed shortly just after the honeymoon fever wears off. This is the time when imperfections can be seen.

Shortcomings can be blown out of proportions. Some eccentric behavior which you found “cute” before now becomes annoying. Aside from your own problems as a couple, you have to deal with in-law relationships, money matters, and certain conflicts which have become the cause of your stress and anxiety.

When negative emotions and actions take over, it becomes the perfect recipe for marriage disharmony. Unless you become aware of your own hurtful attitudes or actions, chances are, you won’t do something about it.

Marriage is accepting who that person really is. We only need to practice self-control and learn not to have so many expectations.

The following tips will show you how to bring back that “zest” in your married life:

TIPS ON PUTTING ROMANCE BACK TO YOUR MARRIAGE

1. UNDERSTANDING – We all need reassurance. Reinforce this by showing affection, a simple praise, hug or kiss will do. We should learn to communicate our feelings to our mate. Don’t be defensive. When you have a minor spat…say “I’m sorry.” and really mean it. The sooner you do this, the sooner your mate will stop resenting you.

2. LEARN TO ACCEPT- All marriages go through certain obstacles. The one that you married turns out not to be the “angel” that you envisioned or the “knight of shining armor.” Real love takes a lot of patience. So go beyond your illusions on what or how your mate should be. Rather, focus on yourself and start to make the necessary changes needed to improve who you are as a spouse.

3. MEET HALFWAY- In every situation, especially when you reach the point that you are angry, hurt, and frustrated — you have to learn how to meet halfway. In other words, you must know how to compromise or negotiate. No two human beings are exactly alike. So settle your differences and learn to forgive each other right away. Don’t let the sun go down on you without you and your mate finding the solution.

4. REKINDLE – How do you refresh and fix a troublesome marriage? Bring back the love and intimacy. Work on it. Work on your marriage. Like life….marriage is not a bed of roses. You have to work it out with your partner by investing time, love, money, and interest in each other. Bring back the closeness by being honest, non-argumentative, and non-judgmental. Being happy together brings good mental health as well as the physical.

Yes, you and your partner should be on top of everything, be in charge of keeping the romance alive and let your marriage blossom the way it was meant to be.