Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Today I am beautiful, sassy and hot ~you find no fault
and you don’t have to think a lot~ when I call you, you answer before the phone
rings

But will you still love me tomorrow?

Today I am fine and refined like an aged glass of wine~
smelling of sweet perfume in the summertime~ making you feel like you are on
cloud nine

But will you still love me tomorrow?

Today my smile is stunning and makes your world light
up like a fire ~today I make your loins quake and your insides jitter and you
declare that looking in my eyes you will never tire

But will you still love me tomorrow?

Today you stare at my picture and you fantasize ~ How
it will be—when we are together—if we are together waking up to your honey bun
every morning and lying down besides your sweet cheeks every night

But when tomorrow comes—and my eyes are not as bright

When tomorrow comes and I am not as fine as I was
yesterday

When tomorrow comes and my sassiness is not as
exciting, but more annoying and everyday becomes a per functionary toiling

Will you still love me—10,20,30 years from now when
the physical appearance doesn’t make your loins quake or cause your heart to
flutter

Will you still love me when I am a shell of my former
self –when all that’s left is the real me-- the inner me

Will you still love me when my hair is gray or I have
none at all

Will you still love me when the legs that use to run and
wrap themselves around you can no longer

Will you still love me when the smile that drew you
near is sitting in a jar on the bedside

Will you still love me when tomorrow comes!!!!

Disclaimer: Beauty is only skin deep and very
fleeting…when looking for someone to spend time with make sure they are
everything you are looking for on the inside as well as on the outside..Only God’s love is true love and it is never shallow but enduring until the
very last breath is taken and beyond!.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

You don’t
always have to be out front to be the leader. Sometimes you have to lead from
behind.The objective is to effective. Being in the leader position
is not always effective. Yes, you may have the vision but it takes followers to
bring the vision to life. Without active followers the vision remains in the abstract
and is never brought into concrete form.

When people are intimidated by you for whatever reason they
may feel inadequate. These insecurities often result in inertia. Not doing
anything for fear that it won’t come out just right. Or it won’t be as good as
the next person.

It can also result in individuals just allowing the smarter one, the leader to do everything. Because they feel like they (the leader) have more knowledge than they do. When this happens. Nobody grows. No one develops.

The Jesus model emphasizes servant leadership. Becoming equal
to demonstrate greatness. Pulling off your titles, crown and royal robes and
taking on equal sometimes even inferior status to demonstrate the greatness in
others.

Jesus, the perfect model for servant leadership came from a
holy, immaculate, exquisite home to be born in a dirty, stinky stable alongside
animals and hay. Why, would he do that? His actions were so that we could be
redeemed. The creator of the universe became man so that man could become one
with the creator.

In the Old Testament he led as God. There was very little
kinship and camaraderie with the people. God being so holy could only relate to
those he had called and anointed for the task.
It was difficult to build a relationship with a God of judgment. He was
one to be feared not one to talk to as your friend. Only a few special people
had that privilege.

In the New Testament, with titles taken off, all of that
changed. Now everyone had the privilege of speaking to him as a friend and
confidant as their personal redeemer. No longer was he unapproachable. No
longer did you have to be intimated by his presence. Upon his leaving this
earth he declared that all of the power that he had was now given unto us. We
now could do the same things that he did while on earth.

While in the Old Testament there were only had a few people he could commune with, in the New Testament and subsequent ages millions of people are able to communicate with him on a personal level. Millions of people are now able to carry out his work and do the good that he foresaw.

What a great way to be effective. What a great way to get the
job done.

So, here on earth in order to be effective sometimes we have
to take off of the titles and big robes and degreed statuses to help others
understand their greatness. When you know who you are. When you have come to a
certain place of maturity you no longer need titles to do the work you are
called to do. If the objective is to help others achieve their greatness
sometimes you have to become as others to help them see all that they are
capable of being and becoming. As long
as you are out front they are always looking to you and they can never truly see
themselves.

Now, stepping back is going to be hard. Especially when people
are used to you stepping forward. It will not only be hard for them it will be
hard for you.

The innate qualities of a born leader are constantly on
automatic. Leaders find themselves being creative, coming up with ideas,
solving problems and the whole gamut. But if you are not careful you will find yourself
alone in these endeavors. Your leadership persona is too much. It’s overpowering.
And people can feel overwhelmed by your presence and your actions; thus leading
to follower’s inertia.

Empowering others requires patience and a stillness in one’s
spirit. You will often be misunderstood. Some will think you have abandoned
them. They will feel like you are letting them down. They will feel all sorts
of emotions. But at the end of the day those with leadership potential will
step forward and you can gently guide from behind.

Let me the first to tell you it will hurt for your actions to
be misunderstood, but you have to remain true to the greater purpose. If the
greater purpose is to empower then remain true the calling.

Many didn't understand why Jesus had to die. They didn't understand
why he had to leave them. Here was God in the flesh allowing man to crucify
him. Unspeakable! Unheard of! Why? The
answer is simple. He did all of that so that you and I can be empowered today. So
that you and I can do greater than he did.

As a leader, the objective is to be effective. To show others
their greatness. To empower the weak and stand beside the strong. Others will
never see their greatness as long as they are walking in your shadow. Stand
aside and allow their light to shine.

Great leaders are flexible, adaptable and effective. The next
time you find yourself in a situations that seems hopeless, try using the Jesus
Model. It worked for the creator of the universe. It will work for you.

Monday, October 6, 2014

My tagline, mission, slogan, and brand of sorts is Embrace Your
Greatness. I use it in hashtags on twitter, Facebook and Instagram. It’s my
message to people everywhere but especially the lost, wounded, hurt,
heartbroken, and in particularly young women. It is expressed on the back cover
of my book Words of Inspiration, Sister to Sister: So Then I Learned. And while
you can probably find those words anywhere. Just do a quick google search and
it will come up in many places. And, you probably think you know what I mean with
those words, I want to clarify my thought process behind my positive affirmation
for you to Embrace Your Greatness.

You see before I started using it I had no idea it was such
a used phrase. My usage of the phrase comes from two thought processes. One, as
a professor, having taught many students I see too often how low self-worth and
low confidence stunts the growth of our young people. Somewhere in their
background, typically, their childhood they were told, you can’t, you are not
capable, you are not the right color, or the right size or the right…and the
list goes on and on. They are hardly ever told that they are good enough just as
they are. This low self-worth manifest in their grades and behavior. They act
out because they are seeking attention. They do poorly in school because they
feel like what’s the use anyway and so the cycle of impoverished thinking
continues.

As I began to see through these external actions to feel the
internal self-loathing, I challenged myself to make a difference. I challenged
myself to be a positive influence in their lives. I started looking with my
heart and not my eyes. I challenged myself
to look beyond statistics and stereotypes. I challenged myself to look beyond dreaded
hair, gold top and bottom grills, pants hanging below the butt, Goth makeup, half
naked bodies with beautiful young ladies baring their precious vessels so
everyone can see, the profaned filthy expressions that comes from not knowing
any other way to express themselves. I challenged myself to look beyond all of
that and see the soul that God created. And behind the external armor of low self-worth
is a beautiful soul that caused God to smile and say “it is good.”

Looking through his eyes of love and compassion for the
human soul there is greatness in every soul that breathes. There is ability and
capability. There is creativity and creative powers. There is powerful and prolific
thought processes that can result in brilliant writers, authors, doctors, surgeons,
pianist, musicians, athletes, activist, actors, humanitarians, entrepreneurs
and so much more if someone took the time to look beyond the external and see
the greatness that abides inside of us all.

Secondly, when we embrace our greatness we can clearly see
greatness in others. For those of us that believe in Jesus Christ as our Lord,
the scriptures says Greater is he that is in us than he that is in the world (1John
4:4). In this battle between good and evil. Greater came to overcome evil. And
he showed himself mighty as he died a horrible death on the cross and rose
again on the third day claiming victory over death and the grave. That Greater
power left this physical world but not without leaving a gift behind. He
promised to give his spirit to anyone that would accept it. If you are a
believer then you have accepted the gift of his spirit and so in you and I
resides the same power that he had. He is limitless and so are we. So when I
say embrace your greatness to believers. I am asking you to embrace the Holy
Spirit that lives inside of you. Know that there’s nothing you can’t
accomplish. Know that all things are possible for you. Know that you have the greatest
power that ever existed living inside of you. When this power is acknowledged there
is nothing that can stop you from being the best you that you can possibly be.
You and I will reach our destiny as long as we embrace our greatness!!

Allowing the gift of the Holy Spirit to reign in our lives through
the reading of his letters to us (the bible) you will begin to see others through
his loving eyes and heart of compassion. When we all look with those eyes and
hearts we understand we are all united in one mission, to love each other as He
loves each of us. This brings about a clarity that allows us to see clearly the
greatness that’s in us all.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

The question of validation is a
relevant question. Maturity teaches us a lot about validation and being secure
in one’s own worth.I am a firm believer
of when you learn, teach. These days I am much more secure in my own skin that
I was, even 10 years ago. But this security, this wisdom came at a price and
through experience.

I remember very clearly being
young and insecure in my being, in my essence. Unsure of myself in many ways.
Granted, in some ways I was over the top secure. People who knew me back in the
day would say, but you were always confident. And yes, professionally, I was
confident in my abilities and there was no stopping me. But personally and
emotionally I was a mess. I was broken and heartbroken. Searching for love in
all the wrong places. Even today I recognize it when I see it. So, I understand
very clearly the purpose of my “going through” was so that I can relate to the
signs and symptoms when I see them today. And truthfully, I am good with that.
I am better than good, I am grateful! My stories provide inspiration for my
sharing. My stories have encouraged many young women on their journey and for
that I am grateful. And so if I had to do it all over again. I would.

But, my heart aches and
reaches out to those who are still in the grips and vices of needing others
validation. Today, I see relationships being slaughtered because of the
emotional shattering that needing and wanting validation from others can cause.
I see young women giving up and never reaching their full potential because of
their inability to see and embrace their greatness.

What we don’t understand is just how much our
present is affected by our past. Years ago someone that I cared about deeply
told me very clearly that it was not his job to validate me. For the first time
I really heard that statement and although it hurt I took it as it was meant.
Simply the truth! Humans have a need to be validated by others. It starts from
an early age. We want our parents to be pleased with us. We look up to
grandparents, preachers, friends, teachers. Little girls need their dad’s
approval and love. Little boys are just as needy if not more. Most of our lives
are spent trying to please someone and so when it comes to relationships we
look to them for validation and; unfortunately, some people are just not up to
the task.But, we have to ask ourselves,
should they be? Should others validate us?

I think in loving relationships we
nurture each other and feed each other with love and spiritual healing, but its
shouldn’t be anyone’s responsibility to validate us. When we talk about
validation we speak in terms of others substantiating our being. Others being
the reason we live. Needing others endorsement to feel okay with our
essence.There is only one person that
can substantiate your being and that is you. God already put his brand of approval
and called his creation good. So who else do you need to say that you are good?

I encourage you today to embrace
your greatness.Embrace the very
essence of who you were created to be. Stand in the mirror and smile at him/her
and declare your victory. You are all the validation you need. Your brand of approval is all that truly
matters.You came into this world alone
and you will leave alone. Your character will be the legacy left behind. Take
back your power and know that you are amazing just as you are. That is all the
validation you need.

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About Me

By trade I am an educator, a professor at several universities. Education Is my passion. However, its not just about being educated in the classroom, for we all know that life is the ultimate university. My hope is to educate and inspire others in this journey of life. My initial goal was to use this medium of communication as a means to share my natural hair journey as so many of my distinctly beautiful l sisters have. But what I have found in starting this very pivotal journey, is that this is more than about my hair. As India Arie said so eloquently, " I am not my hair". This is a life journey and so I hope to inspire and encourage others as we go through this journey together. If any of my experiences can encourage, help, inspire, make you think or even make you laugh, then I have fulfilled my purpose.