Step Back, Let Go and Relax… Everything Will be OK

Sometimes as a working mother our instinct is to try to stay in control of everything, holding everything together so tightly in case it all falls apart… and unfortunately sometimes that includes trying to control our family, too.

Lately I’ve been trying to step back… to bite my tongue and let my husband do things his way. I won’t say I’m always successful but I am trying.

We all want our other halves to step up… to share the workload of the kids and household jobs… we want them to know what to do without being asked… we want to them to take the initiative and most importantly, we want them to do everything the way we do it.

If our boss treated us like that we would call it micromanaging.

Your partner might not dress the kids exactly how you would … they might go to school with slightly unkempt hair or mismatched socks… but chances are nobody will even notice, certainly not the kids.

The kitchen might not be spotless and the dishwasher might not be loaded just the way you like it… but it just might be good enough.

The kids might occasionally get sandwiches for dinner and treats before bedtime… but they won’t go hungry.

The toys might not be tidied up the way you like it… but does it really matter?

Sometimes the key is just to step back and let go of your expectations and just accept help without criticism… without rules and stipulations… just hand over the reins and realise that you don’t have to do everything yourself for it to “get done right”.

There is no right and wrong, there is only your way and someone else’s way.

By letting someone do things their way you show you trust them and in time, they will learn to trust themselves and have confidence in their own ability to take care of things.

So take some time for yourself, just let go and relax. The kids will be fine… your other half will be fine… the house won’t fall down… you don’t have to micromanage everything. They will figure it out.

It may not be done your way, but one way or another, it will be done. And it will be good enough.

Elaine Lawless

This article originally appeared on The Working Mother website and is republished with permission.

Martina Perry and Elaine Lawless

Writers

Martina Perry and Elaine Lawless set up The Working Mother to provide support and advice to working mothers all over Ireland, struggling to achieve that elusive work-life harmony. Sign up for our free weekly newsletter.

Elaine Lawless has two young children, and is married to a professional chef, which means she rarely, if ever cooks the dinner. She works part-time in Waterford for a US publishing company and in 2006 she started her own CV writing business on the side, igniting a passion for entrepreneurship and a determination to help others achieve their career goals.

She spends her time juggling two kids, a husband and a dog with a part-time job, a business and the remains of what used to be a social life.

Martina Perry is married to rugby obsessed New Zealander Grant and is mother to two small girls, Caitlin and Elise.

She recently quit her 14 year career with a major international publishing group to pursue her dreams of starting her own business and creating a support network for all working mothers. When she’s not writing from her kitchen table for theworkingmother.ie she can be found with her head in the books studying for her CIMA exams or with kindle and coffee (or wine) in hand.