Friday, July 03, 2009

As no one watching this movie should be jumping into it without seeing the original then there are only two camps – one that loved the original, as I did and the other side that thought it was trash. If you’re a member of the latter then you’ll find this equally shit and you should just wait until I review Public Enemies. If however you’re one of the former, then I think you’re in for a real treat. This is a fantastic voyage through the insane mind of a wholly unrestricted, unleashed Michael Bay and you’ll be swept into more exciting chases, battle scenes, robotic transformations, Megan Fox pouting and running in slow motion, military jargon and spectacular explosions. As God once said, [when creating Skywalker Sound] that "sound is 50% of the cinema experience" and this is really an aural assault like no other – even against Bay’s own Armageddon!

Now I won’t pretend the movie is without problems, the opening half hour is far too long and contained unnecessary sequences that had no business at all being there. For example: Sam’s mother accidentally eats a hash brownie resulting in ridiculous American Pie style “hilarity”. Bay is undoubtedly the greatest action movie genius director of the modern age, but he must forever stay away from the realm of teen-comedy. I also thought the Leo Spitz character was completely redundant and expanded an already bursting cast without reason. However, these issues and the multitude of obvious continuity errors are not significant enough to spoil the magic.

Despite being a ridiculously hokey plot it’s technically superior to the original in several ways, the character models themselves are more defined and more recognisable against the backgrounds of this movie. Transformations are upgraded for the better and the voice actors seem somewhat more believable than they originally did. And is it my imagination or is Megan Fox even hotter this time round?

Final Verdict: This is one movie that just doesn’t require a lenghty review. It’s not one of these movies that taxes your brain, or where the merits of it explosions can be debated for hours. It’s simply a joy to watch and meets all the criteria for a loud and action packed summer blockbuster.

4 comments:

vaughan
said...

The plot is hokey?, I saw your face when the Decepticons "Hatchlings" appeared ...( If anyone ever wanted to capture the physical embodiment of the term "What the fuck!" , Just show the Colonel that scene again and again and watch his face. However I must admit even I came out of that film complaining that the only problem with the film was "not enough Military porn" By the way I do believe Transformers is a signal of change in Hollywood Politics ...in the last film President Bush is seen as a harmless character with the Secretary of Defence (Jon Voight) as brave and tough...in this one the "New" Administration is shown as paranoid , feckless and untrustworthy ( Obama is mentioned by name)At one point shutting down the Transformers base and willing to hand Sam over to be killed by Megatron, actually saying "Whatever it takes to secure our safety" The world has indeed been turned upside down when Mr Bay is doing Political satire!

While I can suspend my disbelieve at the door and accept 60' robots beating the metal shite out of each other, I find my self harshly dragged back to the cold light of reality when asked to accept that Megan Fox, slamming hottie that she is, would ever, ever associate with Shia le Beouf, it is just too implausible! ;)

Colonel, I hope your 2nd statement does not infer that you consider "us" to the kind of people referred to in your 1st statement. I've always considered folks like us to be life's winners. I'm just a positive kind of Guy. ;)

STAR WARS: Force For Change Founding Member

About Me

Years of being dropped on the head as a child has led me to believe that I'm a U.S. Marine General, a senior officer of a UN unit dedicated to defending the planet from things that the world doesn't believe exist. My spiritual beliefs are those formed from the work of George Lucas whom I consider to be a deity. Politically, I'm a right-wing authoritarian and believe diplomacy is achieved by those with the bigger gun. I enjoy listening to scores from movies and TV, watching action, military and sci-fi movies and television, playing 3D shooters and RPGs on the PC, reading comic-books and I adore the impressive sound of my own voice. I recorded 2IGTV; an award-nominated Podcast with my friend Mark centred on news from the world of popular culture which ran for 64 Episodes between '05 and '09. As an actor I've appeared in two major Irish short films and the pilot of a web-series. I've something to say about almost everything and you've made the wise choice of coming here to benefit from my vast wisdom, knowledge and ego - enjoy!

THE GENERAL'S RATINGS

No Star: The greatest load of shit ever, no redeeming qualities. It's creators are blacklisted and will be shot on sight if they don't redeem themselves before I meet them. Seriously - Dear God why?

1 Star (*): Awful crap. A complete waste of time. Should not have been made.

1.5 Stars (*1/2): Bad movie. I'm not happy about having paid to see this.

2 Stars (**): Dissapointing. Not that good at all except for perhaps a few select scenes or elements. I'll choose not to see this again.

2.5 Stars (**1/2): Glad I saw it, but ultimately not good enough. I won't turn it off if it appears on TV, but I'll have it on while doing something else, just to wait for the cool bit I remember.

3 Stars (***): Meh! Middle of the road movie. Balance between love and hated. May watch this on TV years later / may not.

3.5 Stars (***1/2): Enjoyable, but I would need to see it again, possibly on TV before I would purchase it.

4 Stars (****): Extreamly good. I would prefer to watch this again on Blu Ray a year or two on rather than see it on TV, but...

4.5 Stars (****1/2): Several minor flaws but not enough to distract you from excellence. Most likely will be added to my BD collection.

5 Stars (*****): An outstanding work of art. Practically Flawless. To be added to my BD collection.

5 Star Plus (*****+): One of the finest examples of it's genre.
Flawless. Automatically becomes part of my BD collection upon release.

EXEMPTION GRANTED: To be granted an exemption, a movie has literally to be amongst the greatest movies of all time. Examples include Robocop (1987), The Matrix (1999), Mission Impossible 2 (2000), Transformers (2007) and Iron Man 2 (2010). For religious purposes it is accepted that all Star Wars movies are exempt by default and cannot be reviewed.

Brigadier General Creedon is a Class-1 Nutter, he is not affiliated with a recognised news service, an officer of the US Marine Corps, a member of the organised Jedi Order or has ever slept with Scarlett Johannson. The General's Medal Of Honor is made of painted lead and bits of copper.

"If you don't like the news, go out and make some of your own!" -Scoop Nisker