The recently united Kingdom of Hyrule is still recovering from a civil war that raged countless eras. In "The Legend of the Zelda: Ocarina of Time", the 5th canonical Zelda game, the young princess of this fragile kingdom devises a plan to protect it from the machinations of an evil sorcerer-king, with the help of an outcast from the forest. We discuss the hierarchy of forest spirits, the secret old Goron god, and the inherent goofiness of the Child Link sequence.