Rex Jaeschke's Personal Blog

I stole the title of this essay from the very popular and long-running Readers' Digest column, "Life in these United States". I stole the format from the USA Today newspaper, in which each issue has a 1-page snapshot of news from each state, and sometimes a territory. [To paraphrase Picasso, "Great men steal; lesser men borrow!"]

In my 38 years of living in the US, I've visited 48 of the 50 states, and three of the six inhabited territories (in which I include Washington DC, although that might properly be called a Federal District instead). For an overview/map of the states and territories of the US, click here and here.

For each state, I'll write a few notes based on my knowledge and/or experience. The commentary will be brief, whimsical, possibly biased, and/or incomplete! How's that for "truth in advertising"?

I spent a few hours there one Christmas on a driving trip from New Orleans going east along the Gulf coast. They claim to have a top-notch college football team, the Crimson Tide. It's very likely that I knew of the popular song, "Oh! Susanna" even before I moved to the US. Although it contains the line, "I come from Alabama with my Banjo on my knee", to this day, I have not met anyone coming from Alabama with a banjo on their knee! BTW, the country music band Alabama does indeed come from that state. Think Mobile, Birmingham, Montgomery, George Wallace, and Hank Williams.

It's by far the biggest state (even bigger than Texas, if you can believe that!) and it has the smallest population. If you want to see pristine country, tundra, glaciers, snow-capped mountains, and lots of wildlife (some of which can kill you), go look. My first experience in a motor home was from Anchorage to Fairbanks via Mount Denali, and across Prince William Sound to Whittier on an 8-hour ferry ride. I got to stand on a glacier. This was some six months after the infamous Exxon Valdez oil spill. A huge earthquake occurred on Good Friday in 1964, causing damage along the coast and in Anchorage, and a subsequent tsunami went all the way down the west coast of the US to Antarctica. Oh, and then there is former governor, Sarah Palin, who ran as a Vice-Presidential candidate!

Very hot, often very flat, and part of the Wild West; think Tombstone and its Boot Hill. I very much enjoyed a visit to Biosphere 2 near Tucson (a city whose pronunciation I never quite correlated to its spelling; just drop the "c"). The Titan Missile Museum near Green Valley is worth a visit. It's not every day you get to go into a decommissioned underground missile silo from the Cold War. Back in WWII, US Navy battleships were named for states. The Arizona was sunk during the attack on Pearl Harbor, and still lies in full view under the water at the memorial built over it in Hawaii.

Looks like it rhymes with "Kansas", but the "sas" is pronounced "saw" or even "sawa", if you care to have extra syllables in your words (as in shi-i-i-i-i-i-t). It was my 48th state to visit when I stayed overnight and then drove across it in a moving van in half a day. I saw rice farming, billboard advertising, heard about all the chicken farms and processing plants, and I met several women who had not been intimate with Bill Clinton when he was state Attorney General or Governor! The world headquarters of the Walmart chain of stores is in Bentonville.

Well, it's really more than a state; in fact, it's a whole other planet! I seem to recall that if it were an independent country, it would have the 5th largest economy in the world. Think Hollywood; Disneyland; earthquakes; fires; droughts; the universities Berkeley, Stanford, and UCLA; Silicon Valley, and the former Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger, who will not be back! Ronald Reagan was also Governor. The state capital, Sacramento, is worth a visit, as it the small museum at Folsom Prison. Because of the proliferation of the right kind of eucalypt trees, numerous zoos there can keep koala bears. The beautiful city of San Diego is about the same latitude north as my home town in Australia is south, and I just love that climate; none of that hat, gloves, coat, and cold crap!

Has lots of very tall mountains, forest, snow, and winter sports. The capital, Denver, is called the Mile-High City, 'cos it is! The state has a perfectly rectangular shape. The town of Pueblo (Spanish for town) is a common address for mail-order product (and other) post-office boxes. In Spanish, colorado means red/muddy, as was the Colorado River.

Drop the second "c" and you have the correct pronunciation. Of course, part of it is really the eastern suburbs of New York City. The capital, Hartford is the world capital of the insurance industry. And just in case you are in the market for a new or used submarine, the Electric Boat Corporation in Groton is the place to shop.

Known as the First State, as it was the first of the 13 original states to ratify the U.S. Constitution, in 1787. Unfortunately, the Dover Air Force Base is well known as the place to which military dead often return to the US. There are far more chickens in the state than people. A popular beach spot (for both chickens and people).

Think Wild West, as in Wichita and Dodge City. According to Wikipedia, "In response to demands of Methodists and other evangelical Protestants, in 1881 Kansas became the first U.S. state to adopt a constitutional amendment prohibiting all alcoholic beverages, which was only repealed in 1948." Home to Leavenworth military prison. And no, the famous Kansas City is not in Kansas; it's in Missouri. Go figure!

"The rain in Maine stays mainly in the plain." No, wait a minute, that's Spain, not Maine. Over a 15-year period, I made some 75–100 trips to Millinocket, a paper-company town in the center of the state near the end of the Appalachian Trail. I even climbed to the top of the mile-high Baxter Peak along the knife-edge. Think lobster, moose, potatoes, rugged coastlines, forests, hunting, and Mount Desert Island. One informed local told me that when on the top of a mountain, you could see so far, it took two of you to look! While long-term residents are properly called Mainers, the term Maniacs is also used.

Spanish for snowy. Home to Las Vegas (sometimes referred to as "lost wages") where one can have a drive-through wedding, and then drive to Reno for a quickie-divorce. From there, I took a helicopter to the western rim of the Grand Canyon. Think desert, Colorado River and Hoover Dam, desert, Valley of Fire State Park, desert, Area 51 and UFOs, and the quaint state capital of Carson City.

I refer to this state on a regular basis when in meetings. When a speaker asks if there are any questions, I sometimes say, "Yes, what's the capital of North Dakota?" Of course, my question has nothing whatsoever to do with the topic at hand! The scenario is borrowed from the movie "The Muppets Take Manhattan", in which a hostage-rescue plan is described, and the speaker asks if there are any questions. Think Fargo, the Great Plains, energy (natural gas, oil, and coal), Native American tribes (including the Sioux, the Blackfoot, and the Cheyenne), sugar beets, and honey.

Oklahoma was created specifically as a home for Native American tribes, and is currently occupied by 39 of them. Unfortunately, many of them were forcibly relocated from as far away as Florida, Delaware, California, and present-day Ontario, Canada. (For one such sad relocation example, see Trail of Tears.) Unlike other states that have Indian reservations, each tribal area in Oklahoma is considered a Nation. Think the musical Oklahoma!, Tulsa, Oklahoma City and its infamous bombing, and serioustornados.

I'll finish off with a little conundrum: If Mississippi wore a New Jersey, what would Delaware? Answer: Idaho, Alaska. And if you are having trouble understanding that, here's the English version: If Miss Issippi wore a new jersey, what would Dela wear? I don't know, I'll ask her.

K Mae Schares

Yes, I have begun lightly, interested as we are now traveling to southeast states that are new to us. I am impressed that you wrote nothing negative about any state, and wrote informative, delightful descriptions.
However, I would ask you to check some information you included for Pennsylvania.
I know that Kent State student shootings took place at Kent State University in Ohio (my original home state), and I believe the Three Mile Island meltdown occurred in upstate New York. I may be mistaken there. I look forward to meeting you, Rex.

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After three attempts, spring finally came and stayed, and now I am enjoying some days without heating or cooling. After a 2-year break, I took my bicycle out several times for a ride around the area. As long as it stays fun and doesn't become work, I'll likely continue riding.