Flash Fiction

Trolling

In my fanfic, Ginny goes emo and commits suicide by slitting her wrists. That is so totally what should happen in the real thing.

Your fanfic is retarded.

You read my fanfic?

Yeah, I read your crappy fanfic.

All the way through?

YES! D:<

Why?

'Obviously because you enjoy getting all worked up and angry and calling me a troll.' He waited a few seconds. 'Oh, what a surprise, he or she is not answering my very perceptive question.'

The door opened. Millie walked in.

'What are you doing, Bobo?'

'Nothing.'

'Are you annoying people on the internet again?'

'I am annoying crazy people on the internet,' said Bobo. 'What is wrong with them? It's like they think these characters are real!'

'Why can't you just leave them alone and find some sensible websites? What is it this time?' She crossed the room, stooped down and looked over his shoulder. 'Why would you write a fanfic about that? You don't really think Ginny should slit her wrists and Harry should go with Draco.'

'Well of course I don't. I'm just…'

'Trolling?'

Bobo, his feet barely reaching the edge of the swivel chair, managed - with some difficulty - to turn and frown at her.

'Trolls did not invent trolling.'

'I know,' said Millie.

'Humans invented trolling, and humans called it trolling. What do they expect?'

'I know, Bobo. I know.'

He turned back to the computer screen. 'I mean, give a dog a bad name…'

'Bobo, come on. You're trying to make a point, but no one knows. This, um… Ginny4Eva has no idea you're not just some stupid human.'

'Why not call it humaning, then?'

'Um…'

'They ask for it. I mean, watch what happens when I do this.'

OMG, Hermione is totally hot for Draco, it's so obvious.

WTF?! You are a total retard, DracoPoundsButt! Hermione hates Draco!

No way, man. JKR totally meant for them to be together. In that epilogue thing, it's so obvious Hermione and Draco are doing it behind everyone's back. They probably have threesomes with Harry.

Forget you, man. You're just a stupid troll.

'Yes! I am just a troll, and it doesn't matter what I think! Why didn't you forget me five months ago?'

'Five months?' said Millie. 'You've been arguing with this person for five months? Honestly, Bobo, you're as bad as the rest of them.'

'I was beginning to think I was going to have to be the bigger person and walk away first. Me! The troll!'