Ok, this is the problem I have with this episode. Is it a spell? It must be, because Joyce wouldn't attack her child on her own. She's not my favorite of moms, but I refuse to believe she has it in her to do that. But then, what are the rules to this spell? Yes, I like rules. Who does it affect? The kids seem all right(!) So does it affect grown-ups only? Well, Giles doesn't seem to be affected. Is it just the simple-minded (those who are easily manipulated?) Well...Xander isn't affected, so there goes that theory. It just seems to have an effect on random people: maybe it's just parents...

Amy!

Ugh, shut up, Xander. No one cares whether you were with Willow today or not. Stop making things unnecessarily awkward.

A vigil? Oh, Joyce. Were you in that alternate universe where they had monthly memorials?

I like that they keep referencing Giles & Joyce having sex.

I love when the bullies are scared off by one look from Buffy. Girl's got a rep!

"You are guilty" - Buffy to Xander. Good for you!

The whole mob mentality is incredibly frightening.

Xander makes a facetious comparison to Nazi Germany, but I don't think he's that far off.

"Did that sentence make some sort of sense that I'm not in on?" I love this quote - and I've used it...although I think I've messed it up. It's great word play

Oh Willow, it must suck to have a shrink as a parent.

It's sad that this is the first and last conversation we see with Willow and one of her parents.

Willow, "I'm a rebel!" Hee.

MOO - nice acronym, mom. Seriously.

"Is Sunnydale getting any better?" - Seriously, Joyce - watch The Wish, you'll see how Sunnydale is better with Buffy.

Creepy children! ACK! And yep, one of those kids is Bree's son, Andrew in Desperate Housewives.[Cannot. Handle. - Z]

Giles cursing out the computer is awesome.

"Wake up in a coma?" HA!

"What's with the Grim(m)?" GROAN

Oz and Xander to the rescue! And Cordelia!

"Did I get it? Did I get it?" Buffy is so cute.

I love that Amy the rat becomes a thing.

Zelda's Thoughts:

After all the tears of the last two episodes, I'm ... kinda whatever going into this one.

I cannot handle the truthbomb from Daniel about Shawn Pyfrom. (see above)

Oh Joyce, the 5000 ways in which joining your daughter on a patrol was a bad horrible idea.

"It's just, you can't ... you can't make it right." Which is the hard thing about Buffy's job - it's mostly a defensive position, not an offensive one, against evil.

"Could you also find a loophole in that Slayers-don't-kill-people rule?" Even Buffy is subject to some of the demon-induced mass mania, until it's turned against her and her own.

"Hey Amy! I like your new hair." Nice, writers.

Dude, Joyce, get out of the school. Go away.

Two not-so-subtle mentions in one conversation about how uninvolved Willow's mom is in her child's life.

Willow's mom is tallllllllll.

"Yeah, it's just a sudden whim I had ... in August."

Willow's mom is ... really not a very good actress.

Unlike Harry Groener, who is perfection.

I wonder if the Mayor is infected with the mania like the rest of them, or if he's immune because of his demon-ness, and just playing along?

Neck rupture. Heh. "My neck! It's ruptured! Yaaaaah!"

"It belongs to the monsters and the witches and the slayers." ffffffffffffuck you, Joyce. Notice no one was like "ummmm what's a slayer? The band?"

Ha ha, bully backs down once Buffy's in frame. Maybe he's on the swim team.

"That was a pointed comment about me hanging with you guys." Thanks, Cordy.

Man, the locker inspections. This got bad real real fast. "This is a glorious day for principals everywhere."

A protection spell for Buffy's birthday is a really sweet gift, actually.

POOR GILES'S LIBRARY.

Also if they're taking all the books, how come they're not finding/seizing all the weapons? I'm fairly certain that would land Giles behind bars stronger than those in his book cage.

"I love the smell of desperate librarian in the morning." Foreshadowing Snyder's Apocalypse Now reenactment in Restless?

Okay, but where's Ira Rosenberg?

"Mom, I'm not an age group. I'm me ... Willow Group."

"You will not speak to Bunny Summers again." Done and done.

"You patrol, you slay, evil pops up, you undo it, and that's great ...But is Sunnydale getting any better? Have they run out of vampires?" Well, Joyce, according to our stats, Buffy has slain 95 dead undeads as of this episode, versus 66 dead humans in that time. So ... hush.

And this is the actual important question of the episode (outside of the sad-making betrayal by Joyce), is Buffy's fear of futility in the fight against evil. How much can she accomplish? How much is she worth? Well, she saves the world a lot, so that's a thing.

"React to some vampires." I giggled.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH DEAD CREEPY CHILDREN.

"No fruit for Buffy."

"I do know it's important to keep fighting. I learned that from you." // "But we never.. " // "We never win." // "Not completely." // "We never will. That's not why we fight. We do it 'cuz there's things worth fighting for. Those kids. Their parents."

Also I love that this is what tips her off to the magic at play - their parents.

"Who said you could interrupt, you stupid useless fad? No, I said fad. And I'll say it again." I love Giles so hard.

"Well, we don't need a phone." HELLO MAGIC INTERNETS

Man, Willow's mom sucks. Like she clearly sucked before, but she's even worse under the spell. I would like to take this moment to say I have the best mommy ever.

"Yeah, it's all falling into place. Of course, that place is nowhere near this place."

Lesson from Cordelia: if someone is knocked out, slap them over and over and over.

"How many times have you been knocked out anyway?" As of this episode, 12 times.

"One of these times you're gonna wake up in a coma."

Um I LOVE the dynamic duo of Giles and Cordelia. I would watch a spin-off of these two.

"We wanna be part of the hate." // "Just so we're clear, you guys know you're nuts, right?"

"I wanted a happy, normal daughter. Instead I got a Slayer." And that's the painful truth that I think Buffy will remember, even when the rest of the fallout fades away.

"And some of you will be fish! Yeah! You in the back ... will be fish."

Man, an indoor burning at the stake? Of three people? They really did not think this through at all. The whole building's gonna go down, they'll all pass out from smoke inhalation, it's a really bad stupid bad plan.

So will everyone have amnesia after this one, too?

BIG EVIL VOICE: "Protect us! Kill the bad girls!"

Amy's still a rat.

Crossfire!

Joyce: Who could do something like this?Daniel: Do you think it was a bear?Zelda: A bear? Bears are sweet! (pic from Into the Woods)

Whoever understood that reference gets a prize
from the carnival in Giles's dream

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: "Just so we're clear, you know you're nuts, right?" - Oz

Zelda: "Do you see any goats around? No, because I sacrificed them!" - Willow

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

"As the Christmas holiday approaches, Angel is tormented by evil apparitions who want him to eliminate Buffy."

Zelda's Thoughts:

Oh man, DB. This accent. I can't even with this.

Buffy has tiny bangs! Where the hell - did she just take a pair of scissors to her face in the mirror?

Gasp! What's Dead!Daniel doing in Sunnydale?

I can't tell, is Buffy's lunch bag huge or is she even tinier than usual?

Buffy eats all the lunch.

"Tree. Nog. Roast beast."

"What are you doing for Christmas?" // "BEING JEWISH."

Xander's Christmas is the most depressing Christmas ever.

"This is what I do know. I miss you. Like every second. It's like I lost an arm, or worse, a torso. So I think I'd be willing to give it a shot." Oz is the best of everyone. Seth fuckin' Green, people.

I love watching that guy frosting the trees. It's just so preposterous.

Hallo dead trees! Look at you, all portenty and stuff.

Ahhhhhhh Bringers.

Oh man, Giles's face when he sees it's Angel at the door. Ice. ASH is so freaking good, you guys. I love this episode. This scene is just ... he's ... FEELINGS.

Man, the last time Angel was here, he was depositing dead Jenny. Ow ow my heart. AND THEN JENNY'S THERE, WEARING THE OUTFIT HE KILLED HER IN. OWWWWW.

So do we think The First is telling the truth when claiming it's responsible for pulling Angel out of the Acathla Hell Dimension? We're never really offered another explanation, and the Powers That Be are more a thing on Angel the Show than here. And if so, why? I know The First really pretty much sucks at planning, but I'm still curious for the reason for bringing him back, since the main goal both here and later with Spike in S7, is to take the Vampire With A Soul out of commission - either turn him against the White Hats, have him kill the Slayer, or get himself killed - in any regards, get him out of the game on the White Hat side. Wouldn't Angel staying in the Hell Dimension accomplish that?

Awww it's Pachebel's Canon in D, y'all.

Oh man, that mustache. Terrible awful idea.

Seriously, no.

ACK Buffy and Angel shared a dream ACK ACK ACK that was awesome.

omg and Xander walks in and says "Where do we start?" with helping Angel. MY HEART JUST MELTED.

But DUDE what is that sweater, Xander. Like, what.

It says FLOUR. On the BACK. What is ... no. Just no.

Aw, and they're doing research and there's a tiny Christmas tree on the table and there's pizza and I love my Scoobie Babies.

"Hey, he likes beets!." // "I read that one already." Random shit like this is how you can tell Joss wrote it.

"Hey, you did great, by the way. I was very intimidated by you." Best Xmas present Xander could ever ask for.

"Man, is it hot." Another nod toward how sunny Sunnydale is UNTIL MAGIC SNOW TIEMS.

Oh Willow. Oh honey. No no no. She's so sweet and so very much clueless about what to do. "We could do that thing!"

Also dude why is there a fire burning in the fireplace when it's so hot.

Ozzzzzzzzzz I love you. He tells her "No" in the gentlest way, in a way that won't send her into another shame spiral or embarrassment.

Joyce is burning a fire too. wtf

Awwwwww Faith came over! huggles!

Angel's in your room, all crazypants and creepy. I'd throw him out, Buffy.

Angel went down the funslide out Buffy's window.

I need to go to my happy place! Wheeeeeeeee!

Buffy's tiny tiny bangs look much better when sideswept.

"Sooner or later, you will drink her." Good example of The First speaking truths without context.

"You're not supposed to die, this isn't the plan ... but it'll do." Yeah, see. I really don't think The First brought Angel back, if the plan was just for him to die again. I'm gonna decide it was lying.

"They're rebels and they'll never ever be any good." <3 Giles

"All right, I get it, you're evil! Do we have to chat about it all day?" This is why Buffy is the best show ever. "

That little lip wrinkle, the sassy tilt of her head. Buffy is the best.

Angel's in a black coat, Buffy in a white coat. Symbolism!

This scene, you guys. This scene. I love this show so much. And SMG is so good, and even DB isn't bad.

"What I am." // "Were." // "And ever shall be."

"You have the power to do real good, to make amends. But if you die now, then all that you ever were was a monster." - so this is what sets him on the path for his own show, I think. Nicely planned.

"Am I thing worth saving, huh? Am I a righteous man?"// "What about me?" And she's so sad and little. "I tried to make you go away. I killed you and it didn't help ... I wish that I wished you dead. I don't. I can't."

Oh man, you guys, so many feels.

IT'S SNOWING, IT'S FUCKING SNOWING. And it's a cleaner baptism than rain could ever be on this show. It's Christmas and it's saying that Angel has to stay, to fight, and they can keep going and THIS SHOW, YOU GUYS.

Faith's all, dude, I'm from Boston, we get this all the time.

Even the Buffy/Angel theme has turned sweeter, more hopeful.

And I'm crying. Shut up.

Daniel's Thoughts:

"Dublin". And I say that using ironic air quotes...

Oh no. We have to hear David's Irish "accent" again. ...more air quotes.

I think this is the only Christmas episode and while I kinda like it, I'm glad this was the only one.

See the main problem with Cordy & Xander's breakup is that they don't know what to do with her. So ship her off to Aspen for the episode, I guess...

Joyce's reaction to the suggestion of inviting Giles to Christmas Eve dinner is hilarious. Continuity!

How does Faith afford to live? Does she have a job? Is she stealing? That's another huge problem I have with the council. The expect these young women to risk their lives every day for them but they can't give them a stipend?

Ok, so now we're introduced to Anya...and well, here's my beef. Yep, I already have a beef. One of Anya's major character personality traits is that she doesn't get humans. I mean, that's her thing, right? Except right away, she gets close to Cordy by calling out her Prada bag. Whether she knows about fashion or not, she at least does her research to get close to her conquests. So what, does she get all lazy when she becomes human?

Oz's speech to Willow is pretty much perfect. He doesn't yell; he just states the facts: "I told you what I need. So I can't help feeling like the reason you want to talk is so you can feel better about yourself. That's not my problem." I think we like Oz because we all want to talk like that. We all want to make sense, but when we're hurt, we just lash out and yell and don't make sense. Aspire to be like Oz.

"High School student" John Lee is like 45.

"I don't wish, I act." I love Anya's face when Cordy says this. ==>

And then later at the Bronze...she's just buying her time listening to the boring boys. ==>

I like that Buffy doesn't want to be anti-Cordy. She knows how hurt Cordy is and doesn't automatically side with her two best friends.

And the difference between Willow and Xander: Willow at least seems to be taking part of the blame. Xander just keeps putting the blame on others.

Ok, the rules of this wish thing get a little mixed up, too. I mean, does the wisher need to wear the necklace? It seems so here, even though Anya was trying to get Cordy to make a wish before without it. Maybe it just helps encourage the wisher to wish... [I'm gonna call Contrivance Fairy and say that she's wearing it when dealing with AlternaGiles, so he is able to use it as a Clue for Detecting. - Z]

Buffyless Sunnydale is scary! And...also a little bit Goth.

they have a monthly memorial! Why doesn't anyone move...?

SHENANIGANS! Cordy leaves school around 3p...and she's still walking home when it's completely dark out. Does it really take her that long to walk home?

"Bored now!" I'm not!

Ok, Xander is almost sexy as a vampire. Shut up.

Giles & Oz & Larry &....some chick as the Scoobies!

"Everyone knows that Vampires are attracted to bright colors" What?!

Oh, The Master. I've missed your wit.

Willow and Xander feeding on Cordy is so surreal.

Also surreal? The master drinking an espresso.

For the discerning blood-drinker.

It would have been kind of cool if Jesse were here.

"The entire world sucks because one dead ditz made a wish?" - Larry. Awesome.

Buffy looks gross! And she's acting like Faith. This is what Buffy would be like with no friends....(see beginning of episode).

This factory bit in the video game: Chaos Bleeds. You have to save someone from the conveyor belt.

Aww, Poor Anya. I think this is the first time I realized that Anya doesn't remember the alternate world either.

Wow, what a great episode. It's just so well constructed and written.

Zelda's Thoughts:

It's another wise move, to open with a sunlit slay: Buffy in pink, Willow in overalls - they look so clean and wholesome. Contrast for future darkness!

Thanks, show, for expositing where the hell Faith is.

Xander, stop trying to justify. At least he does seem to realize how stupid he's being.

It's cute they're asking Buffy how to deal with breakups.

Xander's voicemails, all so chipper. Maybe he could try sounding contrite? Maybe that would be a useful tactic?

Love Anya's subtle look of disdain at Harmony's insipidness.

I only just realized the Asian Cordette is the girl on the sacrificial conveyor belt in AlternaSunnydale.

Poor Cordy. Poor Jonathan.

"What I did, when I think that I hurt you ..." // "Yeah, you said all that stuff already." I fucking love Oz. Calling Willow out on what she's actually trying to do, feel better rather than make ... AMENDS.

John Lee's treatment of Cordy might actually be the most humiliating - offering to hook up with her where no one could catch them. Man, fuck you, dude.

I do like that both Willow and Xander want to get back together with their exes, rather than trying to pursuing a relationship with each other, now they've been caught, which would happen on most other shows. They recognize it was just stupid lustyness and not the actual foundation for a relationship. This way, they actually get to keep their friendship for the next four seasons. And we get to keep Oz. You know, for a bit.

Cordelia's hair is just stunning, I have to say.

When Cordy says Buffy made Xander cooler - I love the look of interest on Anya's face. "Really?" Is she intrigued by Buffy or by Xander?

GASP! DEMON.

Scary Veiny Good Fairy. This could also be the name of my band.

Winter Brunch. Winter Brunch, you guys. Lookit that curfew.

It's telling how few kids there are in the classroom - so many empty desks.

"Come-bite-me outfit." Nice, show.

HELLO STREET SET.

Totally a real street. In a real town.

VampXander is kinda hot though. I like how much more confident he is.

"Bored now." I just got chills because of what I know that line will come to mean.

"I love this part." // "You love all the parts."

Man, AH shines as VampWillow

Hi Larry! Welcome to the White Hats. I actually really love that Giles's team of defenders includes Larry and Oz and ... redshirt girl, whoever she is. Nancy? Nancy.

"Slap my hand, dead soul man." That was really dorky, VampXander.

"Old crush, actually." SHENANIGANS. Jesse had a crush on Cordy, not Xander.

"Somebody has to talk to her people. That name is striking fear in nobody's hearts."

"But people were happy ... mostly."

Man, it's so cruel, making poor Giles watch Cordelia's murder through the cage. "You're in a big cage." AH's delivery is amazing.

Hey. Hey Giles. Word to the wise? If YOU can break out of your book cage, you a mere human, STOP TRYING TO STOW WEREWOLVES IN IT.

Blood espresso. Because of course.

I would like to ask where the hell Darla and Luke are in all this.

"Well, it happens, you know, that Sunnydale is on a Hellmouth ... IT IS SO!"

See how slowly Angel is to burn with DIRECT CONTACT WITH FIRE? Because he is a special unique snowflake vampire.

"Its the symbol of Anyanka." Oz, dryly: "I don't think I know her."

Awwwwwwww AlternaBuffy. You're so stoic and businesslike and you have a scar and also a BRAID and a SENSIBLE OUTFIT for slaying, what is happening.

Also AlternaBuffy is much less creative and inventive with her slaying methods.

This whole exchange. "World is what it is. We fight. We die. Wishing doesn't change that." // "I have to believe in a better world." // "Go ahead. I have to live in this one."

"I don't play well with others." That line was used in so many promos on FX. Kinda weird, considering it's not true of OUR Buffy.

I really freaking love how much AlternaBuffy doesn't give a shit about Angel.

"I waited. I waited here for you ... but you never..." Okay, that is kind of heartbreaking. But then he says destiny and I throw up in my mouth a little.

This episode is a really great acting showcase for our Scoobies. Well, not really Cordelia. Or Angel. But Buffy, Willow, and Xander all get to stretch.

"They claim that death is our art." Hey! That's Buffy's gift! Back off!

Did I fucking stutter?

Man, Anyanka needs a coughdrop.

"She's still alive, you see. For the freshness." That giddiness right there? That's what's awesome about the Master.

I really love everything about the moment when the fight begins. Buffy, badass but not thinking creatively, just up and aims her crossbow at the Master and is stone-cold cool about it. And the Master, without blinking, is like "hey Xander pal, wanna take that for me?" No one dives in front of him, he doesn't try to catch the arrow, he grabs someone as a shield. Love it all.

And then the fight itself is so heartbreaking. Buffy and Willow fighting, loathing in their eyes. Angel dies and Buffy doesn't care. Buffy kills Xander in slow mo and walks away. Oz kills Willow. I CAN'T HANDLE THIS. AND THE SAD MUSIC. ALL THE FEELS.

And then the Master. The fucking Master. He just snaps her neck, and even then it doesn't look like she cares that much. Maybe there's a little bit of the sad girl, but ...

Bless you, Giles. I fucking love you so much. "Because it has to be." I fucking you love. All the feels.

Awww Anya. Frustrated face. "Done. Done. Done."

AND THEN IT ENDS ON THEM WITH HAPPY MUSIC AND THEY'RE KIDDING AROUND AND MY BABIES.

Crossfire!

D: I wonder if Oz and Larry are together in this universe.

Z: I don't think Oz is gay just because he turned his girlfriend gay!

D&Z: Crossfire!

Favorite Lines:

Daniel: "Your logic does not resemble our Earth logic" ~Buffy (I've used this many times).

Zelda: Anya: "You trusting fool! How do you know the other world is any better than this?" Giles: "Because it has to be."

90s Factoid:

Sparkly, sparkly outfits.

Arc/Continuity Stuff:

Willow and Xander were caught making out, and now are broken up with Oz and Cordelia.

Harmony's back! So are Jonathan and Larry.

Anya's first appearance.

In AlternaSunnydale, the Master has risen and taken over Sunnydale, and Willow and Xander are vampires, because Buffy wasn't here to stop it. And Jesse, Darla, and Luke are nowhere to be seen. Giles has recruited Oz, Larry, and Nancy to the White Hats Club.

There is a great deal of demonic activity in Cleveland.

No one - not even Anya - remembers AlternaSunnydale.

Stats:

NOTE: Introducing a New Stat for this episode only: since most of the death in this episode gets cancelled out when Anyanka's amulet is destroyed, we think it shouldn't count for the overall deathcount.