Paula’s big hurt What’s with Paula Abdul’s violent imagery and her rear- view-mirror obsession? Weeks after telling “American Idol” favorite David Archuleta that “I wanted to squish you, squeeze your head off and dangle you from my rear- view mirror” – after Archu leta nailed “Imagine” – Abdul was at it again.

During an appearance on Sirius Radio’s “Morning Mash Up,” Abdul was asked about Oscar nominee Ellen Page (“Juno”). “I love that little girl,” Abdul said. “I want to bite her head off, twist it off and put it as a keychain and hang it from my rear- view mirror.” It airs tomor row (7 p.m./Sirius Hits 1). * * *

I don’t know what it’s like watching yourself on the big- screen, but I guess I can al ways ask Meat Loaf. He did just that Tuesday night at IFC Center when – accompanied by around 200 friends (includ ing Debby Harry, Kasim Sul tan and Richard Belzer) – he attended the US premiere of Bruce David Klein’s “Meat Loaf: In Search of Paradise.” The movie, documenting Loaf’s 3 Bats World Tour, runs at IFC Center for two weeks before premiering (in HD) on Rave April 4 (8 p.m.).

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It was good to see former Ch. 5 anchor John Roland back on TV yesterday. Ro land, who’s now a political consultant, was chatting with CNN’s Wolf Blitzer regard ing the Eliot Spitzer mess.

Speaking of Spitzer, his pal Jim Cramer celebrates the third anniversary of CNBC’s “Mad Money” tomorrow (6 p.m.) with a live studio audi ence of fans flown in from across the country – and con grats from the likes of Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa.

Cramer’s CNBC colleague, Donny Deutsch, welcomes Charlize Theron tonight at 10. And former FNC reporter Carol Iovanna’s new pro duction company, Illumina tion Productions, just sold its first property, “Journey Out of Silence,” to PBS. It tells the story of Heather White stone, Miss America 1995 (she’s deaf).