Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, creatures or
places in this story. They all belong to J.K. Rowling. I do however own the
plot.

A Few Llamas and a Git

It was a particularly lazy day in late September, and everyone
was sitting around the Gryffindor common room, finding various ways to amuse
themselves. Ginny Weasley had just sat down in a squashy armchair by the fire,
watching some first years make a foil farm, when her best girlfriend,
sixth-year Hermione Granger, crashed through the Fat Lady's portrait hole,
positively seething with anger.

"Why? Why?! FOR THE
LOVE OF LLAMAS, WHY?!?!" Hermione screamed as she sank into the chair by Ginny.

Ginny, not used to such outbursts from the usually quiet
brunette, asked, "Er…something bothering you, Hermione?"

Ginny looked slightly taken aback but said, "Oh, ok then.
Well if you're…"

But her response was
cut short by Hermione, who seemed to change her mind about her sarcastic ways,
and decided to speak up. "I have to work with…with the most foul…the most!!
ERGH! Grrr…"

Slightly scared but highly interested, Ginny asked, "Who do
you have to work with?"

"I have to work
with…with the one person I truly hate!" Hermione struggled to spit out, her
face flushed from having to think about it.

Ginny, trying to contain her frustration at Hermione's
vagueness, asked in a quiet voice, "And who would that be?"

"Please, kill me now.
Seriously! I'd rather be murdered with a spoon then work with…that slimy,
little GIT!" The prefect shouted with a wild look in her eyes. By this time,
the whole common room had looked up from their business, and seemed to be
waiting silently, holding their breath.

Ginny sat very still,
as if afraid any sudden movement may provoke Hermione further. Finally, after
what seemed like an eternity, Ginny, choosing her words carefully, said, "Look,
Hermione, just tell me who it is," Then after a moment's contemplation, she
added, "If you tell me who it is, then we can start making plans to make his
life hell. Fred and George are my
brothers after all. I'm sure they can help us think of something brilliant."
Hermione looked up to see a malicious glint in the redhead's eye. She reveled
in the thought of this for a few seconds before she finally spit out one word,

"Malfoy."

Ginny seemed to be horrified at the very thought of this
because she stood up rather quickly and shouted, "No!"

Hermione simply nodded, looking as if she was now
emotionally drained. However, after a few minutes of silence, she finally spoke
up and began her story. "Ok, well this whole nightmare started in Hagrid's Care
of Magical Creatures class…"

1.1.1.1

"All righ' everyone, se'tle down,"
Hagrid said once all of the Gryffindors and, much to the trio's dismay,
Slytherins had arrived. "Today we're goin' ter be startin' a little project."
He gestured toward a small paddock behind them that held about twenty creatures
that looked like a cross between a monkey and a frog.

"Ugh, what the bloody hell are those things?" Ron hissed under his breath.

"They're Clabberts, Ron, and very interesting creatures
actually," Hermione whispered back to her redheaded boyfriend. "And don't
swear." At this lighthearted chastisement, Ron tried and failed miserably to
look sulky, while Harry just stood nearby and sniggered.

Hermione allowed herself to let her mind stray for a few
moments. Immediately, all of her thoughts collected on Ron. Well naturally, she
was a sixteen-year-old girl, after all. She had just started thinking about the
way Ron would absentmindedly toss the loose strands of hair from his face when
he wasn't paying attention, much like he was doing now, when Hagrid's booming
voice broke her reverie.

"Now, who can tell me summat abou' Clabberts?" To no one's
surprise, Hermione's hand shot into the air. "'Ermione."

"Clabberts are tree-dwelling creatures that feed mostly on
small lizards and birds. Their most distinctive feature is the large pustule in
the middle of their forehead, which glows scarlet and flashes when it senses
danger," Hermione answered promptly, looking more than slightly pleased with
herself.

"Righ'! Ten points ter Gryffindor," Hagrid said, positively
beaming at Hermione. "Ok, so back ter the project. Yeh'll be workin' with
partners ter take care o' one o' 'em for four months!" At these words, a
collective groan erupted from the class and they started to pair off for
partners. "O an' I'll be assignin' yeh yer partners," Hagrid added as an
afterthought.

"Righ', so we're gonna be mixin' things up a bit. Yeh'll be
with opposite houses and genders. Partners are: Brown and Goyle, Patil and Zabini,
Potter and Parkinson, Weasley and Bulstrode…" Hagrid went on until he finally
got to the last pairing, "Granger and Malfoy."

At this, Ron loudly and very angrily said, "WHAT?! Hagrid!
You can't let her work with him!" He put
a protective arm around his girlfriend's shoulders, "I won't allow it."

Hermione, who had been slightly dazed, snapped to attention
at his words. "Excuse me? You won't
allow it? I'll have you know, Ronald Weasley, that you are not the boss of me
and I can work with anyone I want to," she said acidly. Ron, taken aback,
simply said, "But 'Mione, it's not just anyone. It's Malfoy."

"I'm perfectly aware of who it is, Ron, I don't need you to
point it out for me," Hermione retorted. "And besides, I'm sure Hagrid has a
completely logical explanation to all of this. Don't you?" She directed these
last words at the large man beside her.

Sighing, Hagrid stated, "'Cause I knew outta all the girls,
'Ermione would be the one who could handle herself aroun' him. Won't let him
take advantage o' her, see?" He seemed to have thought this adequately finished
the discussion, because he walked off to hand out Clabberts to the other
groups. Hermione gave Ron a look that said, Can
you argue with that?

Ron, knowing Malfoy's reputation quite well, begrudgingly
admitted defeat and let Hermione walk off towards Malfoy, while he stomped off
to find Millicent. "He better not try anything funny, or I swear I'll bloody
belt him," Ron thought to himself with an angry expression on his freckled
face.

1.1.1.1

Hermione approached Malfoy with impending dread. "What have
I gotten myself into? What if he's absolutely horrible to me?" She thought to
herself, with some apprehension. "Wait, what do I mean if? Of course he will be absolutely horrible to me," the brunette
thought morosely. Then, she muttered to herself, "Oh, bugger it."

"Well, well, well. Look at this, the Mudblood talking to
herself. How classic. I know everyone thinks you're brilliant or something, but
I know better. Father always said there was a fine line between genius and
insanity. It's obvious you have leapt over it." Hermione turned to meet
Malfoy's drawl and the sneer on his face.

Hermione gave Malfoy a cold look that held the utmost
contempt. "Ah, Malfoy, always the witty one," She retorted sarcastically. "You
know after six years, I would have thought you'd be able to come up with a
better comeback than 'Mudblood'. It really loses its, shall we say, charm, after the billionth time you use
it."

Malfoy looked as if he was going to retort, but was cut off
upon seeing Hagrid advance towards them. "What an oaf," he sneered under his
breath, only to have a Death Glare from Hermione promptly meet him.

"Hagrid," Hermione spoke up with a confused look on her
face. "There aren't any Clabberts left for us. What are we going to work with?"

"Well, I have a bit o' a special project for yeh two," the
large man replied as he gestured for them to follow him. They stopped before a
large basket on the ground. With a flourish, Hagrid lifted off the lid and
enthusiastically said, "Yeh'll be workin' with a kneazle! And wha's special is:
this one is pregnant!" At these last words, Hermione gasped while Malfoy
involuntarily shuddered and said, "Ew."

"But Hagrid," Hermione piped up. "Won't this be really hard
to take care of? I mean they need a completely different diet when they're
pregnant. Not to mention they're really moody! What if we get hurt? What if the
kneazle gets hurt? What if…"

"'Ermione, calm down!" Hagrid cut in when she was bordering
on slightly hysterical. "Yes, it will be hard, but yeh won't get hurt. And I knew
yeh two would be able ter handle it, 'cause yer the smartest I got in my
class." At these last words, Hermione looked no longer hysterical, but pleased
with herself, and Malfoy looked like his old smug self. "So will yeh do it?
Please?" Hagrid asked, a pleading look in his eyes. Upon seeing this, the
brunette could do nothing but acquiesce.

"Oh, alright Hagrid. What's her name?"

"Betty! Isn't she a be'uty?" Hagrid supplied, a misty
expression on his face. Then he walked away towards the rest of the class,
leaving Hermione and Malfoy alone. Once Hagrid was out of earshot, the latter
rounded on Hermione.

"Listen, Mudblood. We're going to get a few things straight.
I'm calling all the shots in this project, so you have to do whatever you say.
Since I, naturally, will be supervising, you're going have to manage to do all
the manual work yourself. I wouldn't want to get my perfect hands dirty now
would I? Oh, and speaking of hands, do try and keep yours off me, I know it
will be hard. I most certainly want your Mudblood filth all over me."

During this discourse, the prefect became increasingly
angry. She pulled out her wand at pointed it at the blonde boy's throat, her
eyes flashing dangerously. "I will not take your crap anymore, Malfoy," Hermione
said in a low voice. "Next time I swear to all that is holy, you will not be so
lucky, you arrogant piece of dung." With
these parting words, she lowered her wand, picked up Betty, and stalked off
towards an equally angry Ron.

Malfoy, who seemed to have stopped breathing, whispered,
"Bloody hell."

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