Practical Ways to Help a Friend in Need – Part 1

“I trust this morning you are feeling much better!” were the words that greeted me via a text from a friend. Unsure of how to respond, I waited. Strangely enough, that text did not encourage or lift my spirits as I’m sure it was intended. It also didn’t give me much opportunity to provide an honest response.

You see, I wasn’t feeling any better. In fact, I was feeling even worse and had just returned from yet another visit to the doctor to find out that that not only was my originally diagnosed pneumonia not improving, but I had also picked up the flu somewhere along the way.

I was normally a very healthy woman. I saw the doctor once a year for well-check visits. WELL-CHECK…not sick visits. I ate right. I exercised regularly. And I never missed work because I was ill. I was used to being the doctor for my patients.

Yet somehow, this time, even I succumbed. Before all was said and done, I spent nine weeks battling pneumonia, the flu, bronchitis, and a relapse of pneumonia. The doctor put me on several weeks of mandatory bed rest. Even then it took much longer than that before my lungs returned to complete health, and longer still to regain my full strength and stamina.

For one who was used to doing, being active, and being the encourager for others, it was not only physically difficult being ill, but emotionally painful being secluded from others. Some friends and family prayed and checked in with me almost daily—that was the greatest gift. It let me remain connected despite my inability to get up or out.

Others came to our home and brought meals, yet showed sensitivity to our needs and didn’t linger and stay. They knew I was tired, and breathing was effortful enough—talking and breathing at the same time was more than I could handle. Their sensitivity to that factor was priceless.

One dear friend dropped everything without any advance notice to take me to the medical center for emergency care when I couldn’t reach my own family and I was left at home without a vehicle. I found out later that she had her own crisis issues going on, yet she became the very tangible hands and feet of Jesus when her sister in Christ needed help.

Yet some who I thought might show care or concern, responded with comments that suggested they truly didn’t understand or perhaps didn’t want to be inconvenienced. One friend messaged with, “Doing well today, friend?” but her question stifled my answer because I knew what the “right” answer was, the acceptable answer. The implied message was that she didn’t really have the time or desire to hear if my answer was anything but “yes.”

My whole bout with this illness left me pondering just how we are to reach out to those in need. My first thought was of the Samaritan man. He was one who took the time to stop. He took the time to care. He took the time to be inconvenienced, even when others hadn’t.

And the more I thought about some who really impacted my life during my most painful, most lonely days, the more I thought about the friends who went to the extreme effort of lowering their sick friend down through the roof to ensure that their friend would get to Jesus. I had friends who kept their phones by them at night in case I had a breathing crisis and needed someone to pray; friends who prayed Scripture over me; friends who brought meals when they realized I was ill and then realized I had relapsed and remained ill and kept the meals coming. I had friends who took the time to regularly check in with me to see how I was, and encourage my heart.

“There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.” (Proverbs 18:24 NLT)

During the hardest times in life we are given not only the responsibility but also the privilege of being the hands and feet of Jesus to minister to others in their need.

So often, the reason is we don’t know what to do to help another, and so we do nothing at all. In part 2 of this post, I’ll give practical ways we can extend help to a friend in need.

In the comments below, I’d love to hear your thoughts regarding ways others have been the hands and feet of Jesus to you when you were in need. Your comments just may be the solution someone else is needing!

Because of Him, #HopePrevails!

(If you have a question you’d like Dr. B to answer, contact her here now. Your name and identity will be kept confidential.)

Speaking from personal and professional experience, a neuropsychologist unpacks what depression is, shows how it affects us spiritually, and offers hope for living the abundant life.

Neuropsychologist Offers Hope to Those Struggling with Depression-By 2020, depression will be our greatest epidemic worldwide

An estimated 350 million people worldwide suffer from some form of depression

As with the bestselling My Stroke of Insight, the author experienced the same condition she treats

Helpful features include personal stories, biblical truths, prayers, and music recommendations

In Hope Prevails, Dr. Bengtson writes with deep compassion and empathy, blending her extensive training and faith, to offer readers a hope that is grounded in God’s love and grace. She helps readers understand what depression is, how it affects them spiritually, and what, by God’s grace, it cannot do. The result is a treatment plan that addresses the whole person—not just chemical imbalances in the brain.

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9 Comments

Pam
on May 31, 2016 at 10:31 AM

Perhaps the biggest blessing I’ve received is having those friends with which I can have those very open and honest, gut-wrenching, ugly-cry conversations with; those friends who can lift you up with their words, their prayers, their hugs, their friendship, whether they are right next to you or hours away; those friends who can whisper truth, ask questions that make you think, and aren’t afraid to tell you things you need to hear (and those are the friends I’m more open to hearing things from because I know their heart is in the right place). I’m very thankful for these friends in my life; SO glad God placed them in my life ‘for such a time as this’. I don’t know what I’d do without them! <3

My reply just got deleted………….
You have been through SO MUCH in recent times and I know you are still not out the other side.
Some hold back from being ” involved’ because their own load of care is all they can carry…………..what we need at such times is a friend who knows how to PRAY that Jesus is closer to you than ever before, and friends who will choose to enter in and let you be REAL.
My prayer is that I would be a GOOD friend, the kind you can rely on.
Even if all I am saying is not helping, you know I am praying that in my inadequacy, He would be adequate!!
Looking forward to part 2.

A listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, holding my hand and praying for me, these were some very precious and appreciated friends.
Others gave practically, and their giving, while different, is also valuable — some gave furniture, some clothing, and a couple gave money at Christmas, knowing I didn’t have any extra for gifts for the children.
These all made my load lighter during a burdensome time of my life. They brought light to the darkness, and their gifts bring back happy memories from a time of sadness.

I’m so sorry you’ve been ill! I can’t imagine suffering weeks only to relapse. Especially when you are normally active and healthy. Hard mentally and physically. The folks at our church where the hands and feet of Christ after the birth of my son. The meals were delivered and the visits brief, all out of respect for us. It remains a treasure in my heart.

I’m so sorry you were so ill you needed bedrest. I’ve had my share of illnesses that left me incapacitated from losing a daughter during pregnancy, to multiple surgeries and bedrest from Rheumatoid Arthritis. I think my own experiences have helped my empathy towards others who are sick. Many times others refuse my physical offers to help but I either do them anyway or at least call to lend an ear and check in. I know the physical symptoms are hard to recover from but it’s the toll on the patient’s mental health that can have a lasting impact.

Thanks for sharing with Small Victories Sunday Linkup. Pinning to our linkup board and hope you found some great posts to visit this week!