Monday, August 26, 2019

Sunday morning, I officiated
Emily and Elliot’s wedding at the FilterBuilding in Dallas, Texas.
Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

There’s nothing really
instructive about how Emily and Elliot met for the first time. I mean, he was
stacking Stella chalices, and she threw her phone at him. That’s just what a
Wildcat does when she sees a Jayhawk, who later became a member of the
Wolfpack. And, since it was at SXSW, they had to do their part in keeping Austin weird...

One of the best things about
weddings is that there is no right or wrong way to celebrate your wedding, and
certainly there is no right or wrong way to plan it. So, the following should
not be construed as criticism of any other couple.

During our preparation for
this ceremony, Emily and Elliot really talked a lot about the importance of the
Jewish faith in their relationship, and in the family they are building
together. That is not something that always comes up in wedding planning
discussions. Clearly, this is an important aspect of their life together. And,
if you know anything about Elliot’s professional and volunteer experiences, in
the U.S. and Israel, you can
understand why. This guy is one hardcore Jew!

Now, here’s where a note of
caution is in order: Sometimes people describe a person as religious or very
religious, and you sense they are automatically equating that with good or very
good person. You really shouldn’t equate the two. Look around you in today’s
world, and you will see too many examples that will show you why.

That’s why I love what
Elliot says when he speaks about the core of his faith, what it means to him,
and how it shapes the lives of this couple, this budding family: “I try and do
the best I can and show my true faith in how I treat and love Emily, my family,
and my friends…”

In these words, but more
importantly in how Emily and Elliot live their lives, they embody the true
message of our faith, its daughter faiths and the faiths of all men and women
of good will, as spoken more than 2,700 years ago by the Prophet Micah: “He has
told you, O man, what is good, And what the Lord requires of you: Only to do
justice And to love goodness, And to walk modestly with your God.”

Sunday, August 25, 2019

Saturday night, Reverend
Aaron Teague and I co-officiated Alexis and Logan’s
wedding at Marie Gabrielle in Dallas,
Texas. Here are the remarks I
shared with them and their guests:

This couple, actually,
teaches us two important lessons, and they are of the unconscious variety, and
boy are they deep!

First Alexis’ lesson for us.
Here is what she says about Logan:
“I want to spend the rest of my life with him, I want to start a family with
him, I want to grow old with him. He brings so much color to my life, color I
had no idea I was missing. The sun shines brighter when we’re together, food
tastes better when we’re together. Everything is better when we’re together.”

Now, the romantics among you
are going, “Awwwwwww!” The rationalists among you, conscious of the fact that
usually your verbal insights are not appreciated at events like these, perhaps
winced a bit. “Food tastes better when we’re together?” Really?!

Well, I am no scientist, and
I don’t even play one on TV. However, I believe this is quite rational. We
think that taste is something in the tongue. It is not. It is in the brain. The
entire food restaurant industry makes that quite clear.

Now to Logan’s lesson for us. Here is what he says
about Alexis: “She has helped make me a better person every day we have been
together. I am so lucky to have met such an unbelievable caring, kind, and
loving person. I want to spend the rest of my life with her to grow together,
to experience life together, travel the word together, and raise a family
together.”

Now, you are probably
thinking to yourself, “Oh boy, he’s a rabbi, and he can’t read. How sad.”
Because, surely, I should have read, “travel the world together.” Here’s the
thing, I am not misreading. Logan
accidentally typed “word” instead of “world.”

However, through this he
teaches us an incredible lesson. You see, there can be two ways to approach our
differences in the realm of faith. And, you will see examples of this among
interfaith couples, among friends who are members of different faiths, and even
among faith communities. One way is not to really talk about faith. Let’s just
play it safe. We don’t want to argue or disagree, so let’s talk about anything
else.

Well, that may be safe, but
it’s really boring, and it is not conducive to learning. Guess what, if you
think your tradition has a monopoly on the truth, and that you have nothing to
learn from other faiths, you are wrong. So, the smarter move is to, in Logan’s words, “travel
the word together.” Learn about the other person’s faith, learn about their
traditions. You will become richer for it, we all will become richer for it,
just like Alexis and Logan.

Saturday, August 17, 2019

Saturday morning, I
officiated Chris and Ari’s wedding ceremony at BRIO Tuscan Grille, in Allen, Texas.
Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

I made a false assumption
about Ari. I assumed that his Hebrew name was Ari, which means lion in Hebrew.
He corrected me, and said his Hebrew name was Avraham or Abraham. That,
actually, made more sense to me.

Why do I say that? Well, one
of the things the Ancient Rabbis tell us, by reading between the lines of the
biblical text, is that Abraham was a doer, not a talker. And, in the short time
I have known Ari, that seems like a good description.

(By the way, I say this as
someone who is rarely accused of being too quiet. This might be a
generalization, but clergy do usually like the sound of their own voices...)

When you are a doer, not a
talker, that allows you to slow down a little, take the world in, and even
notice things others don’t. More than that, you can have a profound effect on
those you love.

Just listen to how Chris
describes Ari’s effect on her: “He makes me smile, laugh and makes me think. I
am a feeler and hate to think. He slows me down, when I am mad or lost he
doesn’t have to say a word he just hugs me and kisses my head. My whole
demeanor changes in seconds.”

Now, we are “package deals”
most of us, and so those of us who are quieter and take things slow, sometimes
need a nudge from our loved ones. Ari gets this. He says, “I have many
endearing qualities; my hesitancy is not one of them...”

This makes Ari appreciate
the passion that Chris brings, not only to their relationship, but to the way
she lives in the world: He says that, “she has become my best friend... I
love her smile, how she dances around me, and her spirit of generosity and love
to help others less fortunate than herself...

What Chris and Ari show us
is the importance of balancing each other out, and complementing each other’s
differences, which is core to any lasting relationship.

This is why Chris says, “I
love that no matter where we are or what we are doing, Ari grabs me and starts
to slow dance with me and we are dancing to a song that is not playing but we
hear.”