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Monday, October 28, 2013

None Too Deep

A friend of mine recently came out with her struggle with pornography. She is a wonderful and virtuous woman. A beautiful daughter of God who is facing her struggle head on. She has given up her corrosive dark secret in order to become whole again and help others along the way.

When she first went public with her struggle she was met with 'concern' from some of her family members. They were concerned that she had fully given up her virtue by having sex.

Sadly, my friend felt obligated to post somewhat of an explanation to assure everyone that she had not had sex, but rather was 'just' addicted to pornography and masturbation.

My heart immediately ached for my friend...

What if she had slept with other people?
What then?
Would she then be judged and shamed harshly?
Would she be less than?
Would she be used goods?

I was reminded of a story Elizabeth Smart recently told when asked why she willingly remained with her captors instead of attempting to run away.

She reiterated a lesson taught to her by a teacher when she was a young girl. The teacher, attempting to teach morality through abstinence, told Elizabeth and the young girls in her class to not have sex or they would be likened to a "chewed up piece of gum."

Used.Dirty.Disgusting.

Elizabeth believed since her captor had sex with her that she had become as a 'chewed up piece of gum.' She felt that her family would no longer love her and no one would want her.

She was ashamed.

I remember being involved in a Facebook discussion regarding the interview when it first aired. One woman responded something along the lines of "she was not a used up piece of gum, 'especially' since it wasn't her fault that she had sex."

Another shaming statement.

So those who do choose to have sex are used up pieces of gum?

No. They are not.

No one is a chewed up piece of gum, regardless of what they have done. We are all innately valuable and absolutely equal in the eyes of God.

So what if my friend had actually had sex?

Then she would have had the opportunity to call on and practice the same healing power of the Atonement as she has for her other struggles.
The same healing power of the Atonement that heals everyone's struggles.
The same power of the Atonement that permeates our darkness and bathes us in His healing light.
The same power that lifts our countenance and strengthens our resolve.

It doesn't matter what we have done. The path back home remains the same. Through Him.

Through Him who cherishes us...
...loves us
...adores us
...cares for us
...encourages us
...honors us
...preserves us
...comforts us
...guards us
...nourishes us
...nurtures us
...shelters us
...sustains us

There is not one of us but what God's love has been expended upon. There is not one of us that He has not cared for and carressed. There is not one of us that He has not desired to save, and that He has not devised means to save. - George Q. Cannon

However many chances you think you have missed, however many mistakes you feel you have made . . . or however far from . . . God you feel you have traveled, I testify that you have not traveled beyond the reach of divine love. It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ's Atonement shines.- Jeffrey R. Holland

He loves us with a burning passion that not one of us can even fathom.

None of us are too deep.

Each and every one of us can be returned to wholeness no matter what we have done.

love this. So many of us have been there. Felt we were too far gone; I certainly have. I am so grateful for these truths. They are so beautiful - I am never too far gone for the love and grace of Christ to reach me. Wonderful reminder today - thanks :)

My wife and I were just talking about the "already been chewed" concept recently and we hate that analogy. We also hate the analogies like licking the frosting off the cupcake and so many others which circulate in our community. (The idea that if you have premarital relations you're like a cupcake whose frosting has been licked off) Thanks for your post.

I so wish everyone could understand this concept the way you present it. I know I didn't understand it fully until I was knee deep in it. I judged people from the outside, thinking I knew so much, but now I realize I could only see the surface. I knew nothing of those person's situations. Thank you for shining light on this negative subject, and finding the hidden happiness that is possible :)

Ezekiel 34:11-12,16

"For thus saith the Lord God; Behold, I, even I, will both search my sheep, and seek them out. As a shepherd seeketh out his flock in the day that he is among his sheep that are scattered; so will I seek out my sheep, and will deliver them out of all places where they have been scattered in the cloudy and dark day. I will seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven away, and will bind up that which was broken, and will strengthen that which was sick"