Wise men

“There are no cheap prostitutes. They may look cheap at the start, but then they become very expensive on penicillin…”

Jaitovich, comedian, 50+years old (?).

…

Sometimes people think that we, as women, especially as feminists, think that all men are the same… that they are stupid, evil and classify them as “useless” or “utilizable”. But actually this is not true. It is a wrong idea that men got about women’s thinking.

Actually, despite all the feminism that I can talk about, I prefer to surround myself of smart men. And I could learn lots of things about these men. I like to talk to wise men because they see things in a very different way and see things that I don’t see.

So I want to share this wisdom, before it gets lost in the universe. I will try to give proper credits to everyone. I hope this will be useful information for you all someday.

Dante, philosopher, at 20 years old.

Talking about adoption and children’s problems around the world.

Me: If we are aware of the real world’s problems and we think of helping the children that are already in this world, instead of having more and more children, the world would have a huge change. I don’t say that it will fix all the problems, but some problems will be highly reduced.

Dante: So, do you think that creating a culture of adoption would help the whole society? Do you think that people like you would help the world to be a better place?

Me: Of course.

Dante: Wouldn’t it be the very opposite? If there is people “rescuing” others and “fixing” other people’s mistakes… it just leads to a more irresponsible world. If I have a child in a bad situation, I have no money, no support, no help, and there is no one to take care of this baby… I will have to find a way to raise that child. There is no more option than to survive. But if I know that there is a whole system to take care of children and the baby will be adopted by a lovely family who can offer the baby a better life than the one I could do, I would more easily give away my baby without any regret.

Helping others to fix their problems and facing other’s responsibilities just makes them more irresponsible. That’s the same case when a girl gets pregnant and her mother takes care of the baby and she doesn’t have to face the effect of her actions. Then she doesn’t learn the lesson and a few years later, gets pregnant again and again, expecting her mother to take care of the babies.

Me: But babies are facing the effects of their parent’s actions.

Dante: I know, and that’s the good point to worry about them. I am talking about the difference between a girl who has an abortion because her life was on risk, and a girl who has an abortion because she was irresponsible and then keeps being irresponsible because an abortion was an easy solution. I am talking about working too much on making an excessively comfortable society that at the end turns us into weak, good-for-nothing people. Also, we are too specialized in some areas but ignorant in others. If our parents work hard to get us a perfect life and we are children without troubles, once we grow up and have to face our problems, we will feel afraid easily. Why do we waste so much food? because we have no idea about farming our own vegetables. If we had to grow our own food, we would be much more careful about it.

A common mistake that parents do is trying to hide all the evil in the world from their children’s eyes. They grow up and suddenly face an evil world and don’t know how to face it or are expecting their parents to fix everything.

Our spirits need some callus, the same way as our hands. We can’t be too soft and weak. We can’t live in a bubble or blindfolded. We have to let others to make mistakes and face the effects of them. You can’t live trying to fix the world or you will get too frustrated once you realize that it is impossible and once you realize that the world doesn’t care about you as much as you care about them. At the moment you need help and there is nobody to help you, you will suffer, but then you will get stronger and fearless. Then every problem will be smaller instead of bigger.

Me: *speechless*

Dante, philosopher, at 18 years old (or less?).

Other men tell me all the time ‘Why don’t you go to parties, to seduce some girls and have fun?’. They talk about casual sex encounters like a joke, I try to explain to them the degradation involved in such actions, but they don’t understand my way of thinking.

We, as humans, work very hard to get educated, to be illustrated, to learn about culture, arts, philosophy, theology etc. We try to get at a higher spiritual level and want to see ourselves as evolved human beings. But the reality is that at the end, when we are into anything related to sex, we become the most brute primitive animals. We may act as smart, elegant and sophisticated people, but at the moment the desire starts in ourselves… our bodies and minds are controlled and we are stupid, savage and forget everything we learned. It happens to everybody, men, women, young, old, educated or not…. Everybody turns into an animal. It doesn’t matter how many years of evolution we have or how complex our society may become… at the end we are as any other animal. When we are into sex, we may not notice how disgusting we may become, how low, how sick, how insensitive we may turn. We forget about all the high values we talk about and just focus on selfish, immediate pleasure, without thinking on the effects of our actions.

I work so hard to become a more spiritual person and I won’t throw all this work to the trash just because of some animal instincts. Of course I feel desire, but I work to control it, like if it was the Cerberus. I hope that someday I could see it as a domesticated animal, instead of letting it be wilder and wilder, or feeding it up to grow bigger.”

***///***

My dad.

When you are trying to get a good girl in your life, don’t waste your energy being jealous or fighting with her female friends. That’s not the real problem. Your real enemy is her own mind. Don’t let her alone with her mind, or she will think, and think and run away. We men don’t have these doubts as women do. We can immediately know if a girl is the right one. The secret is to give fast steps, act with assertiveness and be faster than her mind. That’s the word: Fast. One step, next step, next step and don’t stop until she is too deep into the relationship to run away. If I had waited 1 or 2 weeks more, I wouldn’t be married right now. Every day is precious. There is a period called “the honey moon” when they see you perfect and will say yes to everything, but it is a very short period of time. Don’t waste a single day of that precious time.

***///***

Pablo, Systems engineer and programmer 26 years old.

He was in a relationship with a swindler girl. This is him after breaking the marriage engagement.

Pablo: I feel bad, of course I do. I was about to do a huge mistake and I realized it in a very cruel way. But it is better to know it now than later. Can you imagine if we get married and have children? What would happen to my children? She would do anything to marry me, even getting pregnant. Can you imagine her as mother of my children?

Me: Every sexual encounter has that risk. Even if she says she is being careful to not getting pregnant, you can’t trust her. Also there is no a 100% safe contraceptives. Anyway, it could have been worse. The fact is that you stopped before something worst happened.

Pablo: I know. I feel like I was walking blindfolded and when I was about to take the next step, my arm was grabbed and I was told “Look what is in front of you”. I took off the blindfold and I was exactly in front of a cliff, about to fall down. I feel dazed just by thinking about it. I was about to fall into that cliff and ruin my life and my children’s life. I feel nausea, I feel headache, I feel suffocated…. I felt stupid. How didn’t I see it before? Why did I have to wait until somebody else told me that?

Me: It is very easy to use love as a weapon. Sometimes we see what we just want to see, we are like in a dream and we need somebody else to come and slap us with all the strength to make us wake up.

Pablo: I always said that people who talk about princesses and fairy tales to their daughter make a huge damage on them, because they grow up thinking that they are princesses that must be “saved” by the prince and when it doesn’t happen in real life, they feel as a failure. I just realized that we men experienced the same. We are taught to be the ones who “save” the little Red Riding Hood from the wolf. We live looking for the girl we will save. But they never tell us that there are wolves disguised as the Little Red Riding Hood…. The ones who doesn’t need to saved.

Me: The fact that she hurt you doesn’t mean that she doesn’t need to be “saved” in some way. If she ended up being what she is right now… is because something really bad happened on her past. The fact is to know if she can still be saved or if she is too damaged and there is already nothing to do.

Pablo: She looked so innocent, so weak. She was younger than me, and I felt that had to take care of her. I really loved her. I trusted her. She looked like an innocent girl who suffered a lot. She told me lots of things and I believed her. She told me that I was her first love, that I was the only one who loved her in the world. She said she was like a maid for her mother and that her father doesn’t care about her. I believed everything. Once we started living together, I realized that she has no idea about taking care of a house. It is not that I also wanted a maid, but it made me question lots of things. I didn’t know that she was a drug user and had all that sexual experience…. She used to call me, saying she had problems, that she needed money. I believed her every time and was worried about her. I got into troubles to get her out of troubles. I wanted to marry her fast, so she could be in a better situation, without all these mistreats. Then I realized that she didn’t have all these problems nor needed all the money she said. I noticed that she called me so sweetly every 2 weeks, on payday. But 2 days before payday, when I had no money left (because I gave her everything), she didn’t even want to go out with me or even answer the phone. When I was in the university, she didn’t like me. Once I graduated from school and got a job, she loved me. She called me every time I had a new project, but when I was unemployed she broke up with me. One day I told her that I had some money saved, I wanted to buy a car. 2 days later she called me crying saying that her dog was dying and needed money for a surgery and expensive treatments…. Her dog doesn’t have any scar of surgery. Then I realized how she lied to her parents too. She told her father that she was going to a private school. She got the money from her father. If you talk to her, she has no idea about the career she supposedly studied. She spent the money on trash. I realized that she sees her father as a cash machine.

Me: That’s what her mother has been doing. She grew up in that world, she just learned that life is that way. She won’t see it as wrong. In her mind, the world must be like that.

Pablo: Exactly. Once she said “I was educated to be a housewife, not an employer”. She expects to spend her life without working. She thinks that her father must provide her everything, then he gets married and her husband must provide everything. Also the man in the house must be the one fixing problems and being responsible for everything. Then she looks for a husband thinking on who will have more money for her. If yesterday I had more money, she was with me, but if today _____ has more money, she will leave me and move with him. She will be where the money or the opportunities are.

Me: Don’t feel bad about yourself. We can’t lay down our arms at any moment. That kind of people spends their whole life learning to disguise their real intentions.

Pablo: Oh yeah! She faked it! She was sweet, a little sad, with a low voice and talking about rainbows and unicorns. She acted as a little girl and I thought she was actually that naïve. She is almost my age, but she has the experience of an older woman. I really loved her and planned to marry her, but I don’t know how much time I will need to get out of this completely and be able to start again. She told everyone that we were about to marry and now that I broke up the engagement, her brothers are threatening me and everybody thinks that I am a jerk. She said bad things about me to each of my friends, now I have no friends at all. Anyway, the point is that i finished with everything right now and not later.

***///***

Chan-Chan. Lawyer. 24 years old.

This is something everybody should learn, not just men. We have to notice the difference between real sweetness and fake sweetness. Some women look very sweet, everything is cute, pink and happiness. They look like if they don’t know about the evil in the world, and you think that they would never hurt anybody, not on purpose. They may look innocent, naïve and even do dumb things that end up being cute. They look sweeter because they are like artificial sweetener. Artificial sweetener is used because a little bit may give a sweeter taste and make you addict to it, but it is not healthy because it is fake. Actually they are empty and plastic, therefore they need all that farce to cover their real coldness. They don’t have feelings and they know it, they hide it and act as sensitive girls, crying for ridiculous things and ignoring the real pain in others. But when they want something they turn into Hitler. That’s why they work so hard covering it.

At the same time, we have natural sweeteners, like honey. Honey is harder to find, hard to handle and dangerous to get, but it is natural and makes only good to you. Honey never rotten or gets you sick. Honey is like the girls who are honest and give real love. They may be tougher, or be less sweet, they may be rebellious and even scary, but you know that when they are sweet, it is real and not fake. They don’t act to be sweet, they are actually sweet.

Artificial sweeteners are the most dangerous thing in the world. They create an addiction. You don’t notice it, but then you feel that honey is not sweet enough. Then you want more and more of that fake sweetness and don’t realize that you got diabetes, and you want to go away but they won’t let you, you miss that acquiescent sweetness and one day you wake up and the doctor cut off your feet and you realize that you are not able to handle something different, because actually they manipulated you all the time and turned you into a teddy bear.

Once you are aware of that, you will be able to see the real honey and the real artificial sweetener.

Chan-Chan. Lawyer. 24 years old.

ChanChan: We, as men, see a girl and want to get her, but we need a plan. So we usually go to our best friends and say “I like that girl, but I don’t know what to do” then they give out suggestions. You make a plan thinking that it will be perfect. Once you put it on practice, it is a real fail and you get the very opposite result you wanted. Then you realize that men don’t understand women and will never do. Think that you are a man trying to get a girl. What should a man do?

Me: Ask a woman who understands women?

ChanChan: No. Think about her ex-boyfriend.

Me: Hahahaha what?

ChanChan: Before taking every single step, every single decision, the actual boyfriend must think: What would be her ex-boyfriend’s reaction if he knows that? Will he laugh at me? Will he take it as an advantage to go back to her? Will he mock at the couple? Will he use it to destroy me in the future? Remember “Anything you say, can and will be used against you”. Once you think about the effect of your acts in her ex-boyfriend you will start doing things correctly.

Me: Hahahaha. A boyfriend shouldn’t be worrying about her ex…

ChanChan: A boyfriend must keep a direct relationship with the ex!!!

Me: Like an alliance?

ChanChan: You have to know about every step your enemy takes. Remember this: Everything the actual boyfriend does, will benefit the ex and be prejudicial for the next one. If the actual boyfriend does something stupid, the girl will miss her ex-boyfriend and will think “Maybe he wasn’t that bad”. And any mistake the actual boyfriend does, soon or later, will affect the next boyfriend. If you ex was an alcoholic, you will have a violent reaction the first time you see your new boyfriend drinking, even if he just did it on Christmas dinner.

***///***

Eric, student 19 years old.

People’s physical appearance can tell you about their habits. If you want a good boy, look for one with thick lips. If the guy has thin lips it is because he already kissed so much that his lips have been worn out. Thick lips are like if the guy tells you “Kiss me until we have no lips left!!!” –Insert Eric’s laugh-

***///***

Joseph, 24 years old, Mormon.

It is ridiculous wanting to have several women. If having only one and satisfying all her needs is already difficult… how do men expect to have more?

A woman needs to have 3 orgasms per day to be completely sexually satisfied, and as a man it is not easy as it sounds to do it. If a man says that he has several women that are fully satisfied, I just can’t believe him. If a man has several women I would just think 2 things:

1.- that his women are not satisfied… and an unsatisfied woman will turn into a cheater. Because it is more bothering for women to have bad sex than not having sex at all… they will he half-satisfied and will look for someone else to finish the job. If the woman is satisfied, she won’t look for anything else. Therefore there is no reason for jealousy.

2.- He is just too dumb or selfish that he doesn’t notice that his woman is unsatisfied. It actually happens, there are men who can’t notice if his woman fully enjoyed the relationship or not. Some doesn’t know what they are doing and some are just too selfish to care about it.

I don’t want to be in any of these situations, therefore I don’t think that having more than 1 woman is a good option.