Paul Murphy, “Sometimes I just open my mouth and words come out.”

The newly crowned TD Paul Murphy, who was born and raised on the mean streets of Blackrock has told reporters that his political strategy does not involve any thought, that he goes with the flow and sees what happens. This candid discussion with the press comes in a week where the TD stood with a crowed last Saturday while protesters fired water balloons at an inviting target which is Joan Burton’s head.

During the ‘peaceful protest’, Murphy and a large angry crowd surrounded the Tánaiste car while shouting obscene insults and personal threats against Burton, as she was blocked from moving for over two hours. Champagne socialist, Paul Murphy, stood at the back of this crowd grinning like a smug shit who just got a handjob in the alleyway beside Coppers.

Murphy denies that this plan of action was premeditated and that it was a spur of the moment opportunity. The man who is riddled with working class guilt told reporters that, “I think you are giving me too much credit if you think that this was planned in advance. I really don’t overthink these things, I just basically follow where the crowd is loudest and hope to blend in.”

“A lot of criticism I get comes from fellow politicians that think my remarks are inflammatory. I find this offensive as I’m not in control in what I say. Sometimes I just open my mouth and words come out. There really isn’t a hidden agenda, I’m just doing this whole socialist gig in an attempt to garner some political capital because no mainstream party would ever let me join them.”

Murphy is expected to fall back into political obscurity once the water charges debate has been finally put to rest.