Jesus Wants me to Have Chocolate

I’m not Catholic, so I don’t have to feel bad if I don’t give something up for Lent.

At least - this is what I tell myself year and year again when, 13 hours into giving up chocolate, I remember I had a chocolate frosted doughnut for breakfast. And that meant I didn’t have to pass on the girl scout cookies in the break room after all. Which, if we’re being honest, I turned down with a nonchalant “No thanks. Gave up chocolate for Lent!” and then secretly snuck back five minutes later to steal the box and inhale whatever was left.

My New Year’s Resolutions don’t often last through January, which is probably why the concept of Lent appeals to me. It’s sort of a do-over. If you already blew it on your yearlong goals, just try to behave yourself for 40 days.

In a religious context, Lent serves as a six-week preparation for Easter. It’s meant to be a period of time to focus on prayer, repentance of sins, and self-denial. (Do my delusions that “this time I’ll stick with it!” count as self-denial? I may be onto something here.)

Mardi Gras, also known as Fat Tuesday (conveniently, also my stripper name!) is a day of self-indulgence and celebration before the start of Lent. And, just like Jesus would have wanted, it’s one last chance before Easter to shake your boobs for beads. #FreetheNipple

It's on Mardi Gras that I feel optimistic, promising to quit chocolate until Easter arrives and envelopes me in sweet caramel with a candy coating. Other foolish and unrealistic things I said I was giving up after Mardi Gras include:

Homework

Facebook

Caffeine

This year, in the interest of keeping my New Year’s Resolution to post on my blog at least once a week, I’m going to give up binge-watching for Lent.

Yes - I'm breaking up with Netflix so I can stay with chocolate.

No more weekend benders plowing through half a season of Grey’s Anatomy and two Adam Sandler movies. No more coming home from work and watching The Office until I pass out. I’m limiting myself to one episode per day - freeing up lots of time to write new blog posts and fit other, more productive activities into my day.

Tune in later for a follow-up post, where I will be doing one or more of the following: