Author's Note:
Written for the Saiyuki Kink Meme II prompt of "Sanzo/Hakkai (Sanzo topping, preferably), Gojyo's certain that he 'isn't
gay' but secretly watches and masturbates to them having sex (voyeurism)."

Summary: Gojyo
happens upon Sanzo and Hakkai engaged in an intimate moment and gets a little
carried away enjoying the show

The harmony of
chirping crickets and rustling leaves floated through the air on the night's
warm breeze.An unseen owl hooted
quietly in a stand of trees nearby and some small animal let out a shrill death
squeak, no doubt having been found by the orange tomcat Gojyo had seen prowling
earlier.Gojyo felt a bit like a tomcat
himself as he waited in the damp coolness under a tree.His cigarette was nearly burnt down to the
filter and it wasn't the first one he'd lit up here while he was waiting.

The full moon was
high in the cloudless sky, casting bright light down as if to courteously
illuminate the courtyard for Gojyo.It
only revealed that he was alone, obviously stood up by the cute serving girl
who had promised to meet him here after her shift.Gojyo had heard a mischievious
note in her voice when she'd responded to his flirtations and he had been
looking forward to having a playful hottie in bed
tonight.

Turns out she was
just being a cock tease.

With a sigh, Gojyo
flicked the cigarette butt to the dirt and ground it hard with his heel,
perhaps a bit more vigorously than necessary.He glanced towards the kitchen but no light glowed underneath the back
door.It was definitely closed and empty
with no waitress in sight.Gojyo was
left alone and horny with nothing but a sad moon and wild critters for
company.

Sighing again, he
decided to fold and turn in for the night.He cast one last look at the coldly unsympathetic face in the sky and
started towards the back entrance of the inn.The quaint shutters on most of the windows were shut tightly but as he
walked along the wall, a low groan made him pause.

It sounded like Sanzo's voice.The
noise he had made sounded rather... sexual.

Surely he'd heard
wrong.

However, this was
definitely Sanzo and Hakkai's room.Sanzo had made Gojyo stay with Goku tonight since their rooms would be
far enough away that the priest wouldn't hear the "idiots and all that damn racket you make."He'd claimed he'd had a headache and wanted
some peace and quiet.

More like Sanzo just
wanted to get away so he could spank the monkey.

Gojyo coughed
suddenly.The image of Goku popping up
in his head was a Pandora's box of all sorts of
wrong.

Not that monkey.

A second voice let
out a moan, but the sound was too soft for Gojyo to recognize whose voice it
was.

Or... maybe it was
the monkey after all.

That night at
dinner, Sanzo had left for his room first with the usual headache
complaint.After Goku had practically
licked all of the plates clean, he'd gone up with the snacks and manga that Hakkai had bought him.Some traveling scholar had caught Hakkai's
attention with the lure of a rare old book that he'd been reading, some dusty
old tome that was spread out on another table.Gojyo had quickly escaped before the two could start orgasming
together over the smell of musty old paper and water stained leather.

This was just too good.

Gojyo had certainly
made enough crude jokes before about Sanzo having unholy inclinations torwards kids and monkeys, but he had never been serious.

He had to see who
Sanzo was in bed with to test his theory.Gojyo had started to think that Sanzo was quite possibly a virgin after
all, or maybe that he disliked everybody too much to ever have sexual relations
beyond threesomes involving his fan and gun.

Gojyo crept close to
the window, stepping lightly to avoid making any sound.The shutters were nearly closed except for a
narrow gap which spilled a stripe of warm yellow light out into the
darkness.The small space was just
enough to give a peek in, and if Gojyo was lucky, he'd even be able to see what
was going on - or who it was going on with.Gojyo held his breath, half afraid that he'd
be caught and have his face blown off by Sanzo's
gun.Biting his lip in an effort to keep
from snickering, he leaned in to peek through the crack.

The moment of truth
- how many ways were there for a monk to spank the monkey?

His face nearly
pressed against the rough wood, Gojyo focused his right eye and peered in.Luckily, the room was small or otherwise he
might not have been able to see much with the limited range that the small
space between the shutters afforded him.However, the occupied bed was set against the wall opposite of the
window, giving Gojyo practically a front row seat to the show inside.

It wasn't Goku that
the monk was frisking.It was Hakkai.

Instead of spanking
any type of monkey, it seemed that Sanzo had the more pressing issue of taming
a personal demon.

The two were lying
shirtless on the bed with Sanzo stretched out on top of Hakkai, his fingers
entangled in the silky dark hair.Sanzo
was determinedly ravaging his mouth; from his position at the window, Gojyo
could see the flicker of Sanzo's tongue moving
between Hakkai's lips and could hear the wet sound of their kisses.Hakkai's elegant hands were firmly gripping Sanzo's denim-encased ass, clutching him against his body
as the monk ground down on him.Hakkai's
own hips rocked back and forth, sensually rubbing his crotch against Sanzo's.

Buddha's balls!

Gojyo was
shocked.He'd never thought that Hakkai
would have been into guys.Well, not
that his track record had been exactly conventional with the whole incest
thing, but at least Kanan had been female, even if
she was Hakkai's sister.Plus, Hakkai always went into knight in
shining armor mode when faced with damsels in distress.He was just so damned proper all of the
time.Besides that, Gojyo had assumed
that Hakkai was pretty much celibate these days with the whole heart-shattered-into-a-thousand-irreparable-pieces
syndrome.Gojyo had understood and
accepted that.Despite the way Gojyo
loved to tease Sanzo, he never bullied or taunted Hakkai.Hakkai was broken, but Sanzo was just
sexually repressed and always took his sexual frustration out on everyone
else.

Or so Gojyo had
thought.Apparently, he was wrong on
both counts.Hakkai apparently wasn't
celibate and even enjoyed having sex with men, or at least a certain cranky
blond monk. Sanzo was neither a virgin nor, evidently, sexually repressed.He was just an asshole.

Sanzo kissed a trail
down Hakkai's smooth chest, latching onto a pert nipple and sucking hard.Hakkai moaned, his hands circling restlessly
over the pale freckled skin of Sanzo's
shoulders.Sanzo released the nub,
moving over to torture the other one as Hakkai murmured into his blond hair.

"Bite it,
Sanzo.Please."

Sanzo apparently
complied, because now Hakkai tossed his head back with a sigh.

"Ah, yes, just
like that.It feels so good when you're
rough with me."

Sanzo reached up to
pinch the abandoned nipple hard as his lips and teeth worked the other one, his
mouth making soft sucking noises on Hakkai's chest.

Gojyo's ears were
burning.So were his eyes.Or maybe it was his entire head as he was
forced to witness his best friend doing the naughty with Sanzo of all people.Well,
he wasn't being forced, really.He'd
satisfied his curiosity and received a hell of a lot more answers than he'd
been expecting.Now it was time to get
back to his room.He needed to find
bleach to wash his eyes out with and maybe some cotton swabs to clean the blood
out of his ears.

Except the horror of
the whole situation had apparently sent his body into shock and his legs
refused to obey the commands of his brain, stubbornly remaining planted in
front of the window.Maybe he had died
of shock and gone into rigor mortis, because surely that's the only reason why
his dick was so hard. Come morning the cook would come out to get water from
the well and find Gojyo's corpse propped up against the side of the building,
and everyone would know that the gods had found the perfect death for a peeping
pervert.Hakkai would be aghast, Goku
would be laughing his hairy ass off, and Sanzo would finally get his heart's
desire in unloading a volley of bullets into Gojyo's dead body as shooting
practice for the day.

"Fuck, these
pants are strangling my dick."

Gojyo started,
wondering if he'd spoken aloud, then suddenly realized that it was actually
Sanzo who'd spoken and not himself.Gojyo refocused his attention and saw Sanzo had sat up and was reaching
for his fly.

"Here, let me
get that.It's not very useful if it
atrophies," Hakkai chuckled.

He certainly has a way with words, Gojyo
thought.

Hakkai reached up
and flicked the button open expertly, pulling the zipper down to allow Sanzo's hard cock to spring out.The monk wasn't wearing any underwear.Gojyo had seen Sanzo's
dick plenty of times - not that he'd been looking, of course.They were all men, so they had no modesty
when it came to getting dressed or washing up when there was no privacy to be
had.He'd seen all of their dicks, but
never erect.Well, not counting that one
time he'd accidently caught Goku jerking off, but he
tried to block that from his memory.

Sanzo's
dick reminded Gojyo of the monk himself; it was long and slender, red and
pissed-off looking.Hakkai didn't say
anything about the lack of underpants, surprisingly.Instead, he loosely wrapped his hand around Sanzo's cock and gave it a couple slow strokes as he used
his free hand to work Sanzo's jeans down a bit
more.Sanzo grunted and thrust into
Hakkai's grip.Hakkai dipped his head
forward, flicking his tongue lightly around the head of Sanzo's
cock.

"Fuck, yes."Sanzo growled with pleasure and pushed his
hips forward.

Hakkai smiled up at
him, leaning forward to lick slowly across Sanzo's
balls before easing back and lightly biting a bony hip.

Gojyo was pretty
sure his own dick was being strangled.All of the blood that should be in his legs as they rapidly carried him
away from here had instead pooled in his cock, causing it to ache and throb
horribly.

Not that it meant
anything.It wasn't like he was into
guys doing guys or anything like that.It must be pheromones drifting through the air.They were wafting out of the cracked shutters
straight into Gojyo's nose and affecting the animal part of his brain.The little piece left over from when people
ran around barefoot in the woods in furry loincloths, wielding big clubs.Not unlike a couple of the youkai they'd run into before.

Yeah,
because he was totally not getting turned on by his two male friends doing it
because he was gay.Because he wasn't.Gay, that was.Not his fault there were weird chemicals
floating in the air and making him do crazy shit.Like unbutton his pants so he could pull his
cock out.While he was
standing outside a window.Secretly watching two men, his friends,
have sex.One of which, at least, would
most definitely kill him if Gojyo was discovered.

"Shit, it's
been too long since we've had a private room.I'm not going to last long if you keep doing that."With a reluctant groan, Sanzo gently pulled
his cock away from Hakkai's teasing."I'm
going to fuck you hard tonight," Sanzo promised.

Gojyo did not just
hear that from Sanzo of all people,
did he?He stroked himself almost
absentmindedly, waiting for one of them to drop another bomb on his poor
unsuspecting mind.

Hakkai let out a
little groan himself at Sanzo's words, reaching down to
undo his belt and open his pants.Sanzo
reached down and pulled Hakkai's erection out of the constraints of his
underwear.Hakkai's dick didn't look as
angry as Sanzo's for some reason.As dicks went, it was kind of pretty, a bit
like its owner, smooth and elegant and not all veiny
looking.Its little twitch kind of
looked like a friendly greeting.

Wait.Did he
just call a dick pretty looking!?Apparently his brain
had suffered a slight stroke, too.

For a moment, Sanzo
just stared down at Hakkai's dick, his eyes hidden from Gojyo by the mess of
blond hair hanging down.He gently
pressed Hakkai back down on the bed again.His long fingers gently caressed Hakkai's hip, trailing down to tease
through the dark hair at his groin before twirling over the tip of Hakkai's
cock.Sanzo suddenly bent down and
slipped the flushed head into his mouth, shocking Gojyo a bit.

Gojyo never thought
that Sanzo would deign to sully his mouth by sticking a dick in it.Sanzo was a selfish bastard and an asshole to
boot.He hardly seemed the type to
bother giving head.Then again, Sanzo
did have strange tastes.He was groaning
around Hakkai's cock like he'd just found a lake of soggy ramen swimming in
mayonnaise, his lips moving up and down the shaft as well as any seasoned whore's.One hand supported himself
as he leaned over Hakkai's lap and the other fisted the rest of Hakkai's cock
that wouldn't fit in his mouth.

Gojyo had to fight a
groan himself.He was so not into this.Not one bit.He tightened his grip around his cock and started stroking more
firmly.It'd just been a while since he'd
had a blow job himself, and this was bringing back memories from the last
time.Never mind that he wasn't actually
picturing that chick's face and that he couldn't tear his eyes away from the
sight of his best friend's dick filling Sanzo's
filthy mouth.

Hakkai moaned
softly, propping himself up on his elbows for a better view.His hips moved with amazing restraint,
keeping himself from choking the blond even as he kept
up a steady movement sliding back and forth between Sanzo's
lips.

"Ah!Sanzo,"Hakkai managed, "I'm not going to
last long myself if you don't stop now."Despite his words, he thrust himself deeper into Sanzo's
mouth, one hand curling in the blond hair as if to hold him there.

Sanzo pulled back
slightly, gently biting the flesh where Hakkai's thigh met his groin.Hakkai moaned again then at Sanzo's nudge, lifted his hips so that his pants and
underwear could be pulled off in a couple quick yanks.The blond stood and wrestled out of his own
pants, leaving them in an untidy heap on the floor.He paused for a moment, digging around in his
robes which were draped over the back of a chair.

Sanzo was
uncomfortably close to Gojyo's window.Gojyo's hand stilled on his cock as he waited, frozen.

Hakkai openly
admired Sanzo's ass.His dark eyes seemed transfixed on the lily white paleness as he
sprawled back on the bed, slowly stroking his cock.The corners of his mouth were drawn up in a
pleased smile.In the ambient light, his
cock glistened with Sanzo's saliva.

Gojyo would never
have believed that such a lascivious expression was possible on Hakkai's face
if he hadn't seen it for himself.

Sanzo pulled a
bottle of lube out of the folds in his robe.Gojyo couldn't help but notice that it was a rather large bottle
considering that it shared space with Sanzo's smokes,
lighter, fan, pistol and the occasional meat bun in the mysterious fourth
dimension that resided in Sanzo's robes.Gojyo wondered what else might be hidden in
there and stifled a chuckle at the thought.His dick wasn't as amused, resting heavy and aching in Gojyo's
hand.It wanted a little bit of that
lube but Gojyo didn't even dare to raise his hand to spit in it.It was too dangerous with Sanzo standing so
close to the window.Gojyo barely
breathed, wondering what would happen if Sanzo suddenly turned and noticed a
red eye peeking in at him.He didn't
dare even blink.

With a grunt, Sanzo
turned away.Gojyo relaxed and breathed
a slow breath.His hand was a little
shaky as it smoothed over the heated skin of his cock.

Sanzo was watching
Hakkai stroke himself on the bed.Gojyo
couldn't see it, but he could practically feelSanzo's scowl.

"Stop that, dammit.Where'd your
sash go?"Dropping the bottle to
the bed, Sanzo pulled Hakkai's hands away from his cock, gripping his wrists to
gently press them up to the top of the bed.His eyes seemed to search through the discarded clothes on the floor,
looking for the sash.Hakkai groaned and
shook his head.

"Don't tie
me.I'll be good," Hakkai
promised.He wriggled in Sanzo's grip and looked up at him from the corner of his
good eye.His lips twitched into a
strange little smile.

Sanzo stared down at
Hakkai for a moment as if he was trying to determine if Hakkai was lying.After a moment, he released Hakkai's wrists,
climbing on the bed and picking up the lube again.

"Che.We'll see about that.You'd
better keep it down this time.I don't
want to have to gag you again."

Holy crap, Sanzo and Hakkai werekinkytoo!?

Hakkai let out a
wanton moan as if he liked the idea
of being gagged.However, instead of
giving Sanzo further encouragement to whip out the bondage gear - which Gojyo
would not be surprised to see Sanzo withdraw from his robes - he simply pulled
his knees up into the air and held the back of his thighs with his hands in a
blatant invitation.Even from his
position at the window, Gojyo could see the hungry glitter of Hakkai's eyes in
the lamplight as he stared up at Sanzo.

Gojyo's hand
tightened on his cock as he watched Sanzo lube his own dick with a couple brisk
strokes.He poured more lube into his
hand, the slick fluid dripping onto the bed as he brought his hand down between
Hakkai's legs.Without preamble, Sanzo
pushed two slick fingers into Hakkai's waiting ass.Hakkai didn't seem to mind, throwing his head
back on the pillow and letting out a low moan as Sanzo worked him.

Gojyo could see Sanzo's fingers sinking into Hakkai's body all the way to
the knuckles and stared, his hand squeezing the base of his cock to keep from
coming right then and there.Okay, so
maybe this was the hottest thing he'd ever seen, but that didn't make him
gay.Hell, it was only gay if you
actually wanted to do it, right?Gojyo
certainly didn't want to do it so it
made it perfectly fine to watch.

Or so he told
himself.

He wasn't having any
urges to be in the room on that bed, in Sanzo's
position as he eased his furious-looking dick into Hakkai, who probably had a
very tight, eager ass indeed.Sanzo let
out deep groan, pushing until his body was flush against Hakkai.He paused for a moment as they both panted,
running his hands over the creamy flesh spread out underneath him.

Nope, Gojyo didn't
want to do that one bit.Not at all.

"Sanzo..."

Only Hakkai could
make someone's name sound like a polite request and a firm command
simultaneously.

Sanzo gripped Hakkai's
thighs and began a slow thrusting.

Hot damn.Why was it that the sight of his two friends
- male friends - fucking each other
was the hottest thing his eyes, or in this case - eye - had ever laid its gaze
upon?

His aching cock was
leaking copiously and throbbed insistently in his restraining grip.Not tearing his gaze off of the other two,
Gojyo spread the fluid over his shaft, using itto ease the friction of his calloused
palm as he resumed a steady pumping.He
rubbed his thumb across the slit on each upstroke and bit his lip to keep from
moaning.The last thing he needed was
for Hakkai or Sanzo to hear heavy moaning through the shutters.That would not be pretty by any stretch of
the imagination.

He probably didn't
have much to worry about, though.Sanzo
was letting out a guttural grunt with each snap of his hips and Hakkai's
panting was as loud as if he was running a marathon.Gojyo unconsciously began to stroke his cock
in time to Sanzo's thrusts, imagining that the tight
grip was a hot ass instead.Gojyo
watched them move together on the bed for what seemed like an eternity, just
the two men on the bed and the peeping kappa at the window.

So he was a pervert,
nothing new.Gojyo gently rolled his
balls in his left hand as his right hand kept up its steady fisting.His eye felt strained so he carefully shifted
to peek through the gap with the other one. He hoped all of this spying wouldn't
make him need glasses.

Hakkai was starting
to get noisier, his usually mild tenor now climbing
into a high, breathy range as Sanzo steadily fucked him.He cried out Sanzo's
name occasionally with a few commands of "just a bit harder" and "faster,
please" and lots of exclamations of "Ah ahah's!"Apparently, the man even nagged in bed.At least he made it sound sexy.With a muttered curse, Sanzo sped up and practically bent Hakkai in half
so he could crush their mouths together, effectively muffling Hakkai's stream
of noise to a series of what sounded like "MmmphmmphummphSnnnzoguhd!"

He was now fucking
Hakkai so hard that the cheap bed frame was banging loudly against the wall and
the noise of their bodies slapping together seemed to drown out all of the
other sounds in the night.

Gojyo was surprised
that the plaster wasn't cracking and that the innkeeper wasn't banging on the
door in protest.

Really, he'd be
shocked if Hakkai could even walk normally tomorrow and if Sanzo's
tongue hadn't been bitten off.

Gojyo was
close.His balls felt heavy and tingled
like mad; the pressure in his cock was promising an orgasm of epic
pleasure.He abandoned the teasing of
his balls so he could cover his mouth in an attempt to muffle his own noises.

Sanzo wormed a hand
between their bodies and started jerking Hakkai's cock hard and fast.Hakkai tore his mouth away from Sanzo's with a heaving gasp, clearly struggling to get
enough oxygen in his lungs to nag or scream or something.He took a deep
breath then suddenly stiffened, coming with a loud cry of Sanzo's
name as his cock pumped out spurts of come between the two.

That did it.Gojyo bit his lip so hard he tasted blood but
it kept him from shouting through the window at the other two, which would definitely
end his sorry life in a colorful celebration of flying lead and gore.It felt like his cock had exploded as he shot
his load against the wall, streaking the wood slating with pale stripes that
glistened in the bright moonlight.Black
spots swarmed his vision and he hardly noticed Sanzo's
cry of "Fuck, Hakkai!" as the monk stiffened, smashing his hips
against his lover as he orgasmed.Sanzo collapsed over Hakkai, both of them
breathing heavily.

Gojyo carefully
planted his hands against the wall under the window while he fought to regain
control of his breathing and order his scrambled brain to produce coherent
thoughts again.He was dimly aware of
shuffling as Hakkai gently pushed Sanzo off of him so he could stretch his legs
back out on the bed.Sanzo didn't
complain, flopping onto the bed with more docility
than Gojyo was accustomed to seeing from him.

Gojyo gathered his
wits enough to tuck himself back into his pants as the two finally regained the
ability of speech.

"Cigarettes,"
Sanzo demanded, although his voice was at least more mellow than usual.

"As I was
trying to tell you before you dragged me in here, there aren't any more left."Hakkai sighed but it was a relaxed sound,
lacking any real exasperation."I
think Gojyo still has a few, or if you prefer, I saw a vending machine out
back."

"Damn it."Sanzo was already sounding like his bitchy
self again.Evidently post-coital bliss
wasn't enough to keep him off the rag for a full ten minutes.

Shit.Time to get going before Sanzo aerated his
head with bullet holes.Hopefully he
wouldn't notice the streaks against the wall.Oh well, if he did, it wasn't like he'd know who did it.

Gojyo chuckled to
himself as he quickly fled, imagining Sanzo's
expression as he realized some unknown creep had been spying on him as he got
down and nasty with Hakkai.He bit his
knuckles to stifle a crazy giggle.He
paused and leaned against the door to the inn, trying to calm the slight
hysteria he was feeling after his near death experience with gay sex.

It took a few
minutes, but his head finally cleared.His body still pleasantly thrummed with the afterglow of his
orgasm.All in all, it'd been a pretty
good night despite that girl flaking out on him.Or maybe because she flaked out on him, but Gojyo
wasn't going to think too hard about that.

Making sure he was
presentable enough, he came through the back entrance and started towards the
room he was sharing with Goku.He
adopted his usual swagger in attempt to look normal.A stride that made him look
confident and at least somewhat respectable, not like some lonely voyeur who
lurked around baths and open windows.A type of walk that wasn't at all gay, either.No flouncing or swinging hips, just a smooth
and steady stalking motion like a predator on the prowl.

So maybe he'd
watched his two guy friends have sex, but it wasn't that different from
watching a porn.He'd seen some crazy porn flicks before, some that might have gotten him
pretty hot but not like he'd ever want to participate in.Tentacle sex, for example.Hot on the screen but definitely not hot if
it was a real wriggling, slimy appendage that was flopping in bed with him and
his latest conquest.

Gojyo reached his
room and slipped inside without incident.He locked the door behind him and was relieved not to hear Sanzo's enraged shout or gunshots echoing down the hallway.

Goku was still
awake, stretched out in his underwear on one of the beds with a stash of candy
bars, soda, and manga.He had chocolate smeared around his mouth and
a dumbass smile as he chuckled at something on the
page.He paid no attention as Gojyo
slipped into the bathroom for a shower.

Gojyo took his time
under the hot spray.Reflecting back, he
realized that he was a bit shocked after everything was said and done.Sanzo and Hakkai, together.Them having sex together...
really wild, hot sex together.

His cock gave a
half-hearted twitch at the tumble of images and sounds that were scorched into
his brain. Snapping back to the present,
he ignored his dick, which apparently had no idea of what it was and wasn't
supposed to find hot.Instead, he
finished up his shower and dried off, putting on some pajama bottoms so he
wouldn't wake up with gum stuck in his pubes again.

Now that was a prank he had no desire to
have revisited upon him, although the rest of the ikkou
had seemed to find it funny.Sanzo had
openly laughed in his face and said it was his own fault for "sleeping
with his dick hanging out around bored monkeys."Hakkai had clearly been struggling to keep a
straight face as he kindly offered to buy Gojyo some peanut butter to help
remove the mess.

Sanzo had guffawed
at that.Apparently even the holy Sanzo
wasn't immune to the supposed hilarity of the situation.

"Hakkai,
what the hell are you thinking?Peanut
butter would have every monkey on this side of India gnawing on Gojyo's dick."

Yeah, there was no
way in hell he was going to risk having that bit of fun again.

Gojyo came back into
the room and settled down on his bed.He
grabbed a can of beer and his cigarettes from the bag on the floor.The beer would be nasty warm, but he needed
something alcoholic tonight.He felt a
prickling at the back of his neck and looked up to see Goku watching him with
an expression of what looked like greed.

Creepy.

"Got a problem,
monkey?"

Goku smiled oddly at
him and didn't even bother responding to the insult."Nope, not at all.You owe me your meat buns for a week, though."

"Yeah right, I
don't owe you nothing, ape."Gojyo
blew smoke in his face, causing Goku to cough and throw an empty soda can at
his head.

Gojyo ducked and
sneered at him.

"Stupid
buttface!"Goku uselessly waved at the smoky air,
jumping up to open the window to let the smoke escape.When he turned back to face Gojyo, he had a
smirk plastered on his face again, though.

"Yeah, you'd
better be nice or I'll tell them anyway.I saw what you did tonight."

Goku's grin outshone
the moon in its brightness.That was,
except for the globs of chocolate stuck in his teeth.

Gojyo desperately
tried to order his thoughts."I was
just waiting for my date to come out!"

"Yeah,
right!You're
a liar, Gojyo!"Goku's voice was
getting louder and Gojyo tried to shush him but the kid plowed on.

"I went to the
vending machine and there you were, acting like the perverted kappa you are in
the bushes.You'll give me your meat
buns and all of your dessert for the next two weeks or I'm so telling on you!"

Two
weeks now and dessert?!

Gojyo ground his
teeth in anger.There was no way he
wanted to face Sanzo's unpredictable wrath or Hakkai's
disappointment in his friend's disrespectful lewdness.He'd better give in before he was giving all
of his fucking food to the damn monkey for the next year.Although death by starvation would probably
be preferable to the other two finding out what Gojyo had been doing.His pride couldn't let that happen.

"Fine, dammit!Meat buns and dessert for the next two weeks."

Goku whooped and tossed
himself back down on the bed, seemingly happy enough with Gojyo's agreement
that he didn't try to extort any more food out of him.His big eyes sparkled with unholy glee at the
thought of eating the best part of Gojyo's meals in the upcoming days.

Kid really needs a healthier fixation than food.His age, he should be drooling over tits, not
meat buns.

Then again, look at
the trouble a healthy sex drive had gotten Gojyo into.

Damned monkey,
damned open windows, and damned bastards who fucked without bothering to shut
their windows all the way.

Gojyo sighed and
took a healthy swig of his beer.He
would need to be drunk as hell to get any amount of sleep tonight.Goku was bouncing now in a sugar-induced
craze, practically rolling like a dog in the empty candy wrappers on the
bed.The teen let out a final satisfied
sigh, settling on his side and wrapping his arms around himself in what Gojyo
supposed was a hug of congratulations for his cleverness.

Dumbass.

A sudden thought struck
Gojyo.

"Hey, how do
you know about those two?"

Goku's eyes cleared
slightly from their glaze of culinary hedonism and he looked across the room
towards Gojyo.

"I can smell it
when they've been all over each other, duh."Goku's noise wrinkled slightly.

Gojyo thanked his
lucky stars that he didn't have Goku's sense of smell.

"And once, I
heard Hakkai yelling so I ran in and totally saw Sanzo pounding Hakkai's ass
over the table."Goku paused
dramatically."Last time I made
that mistake again!"

Gojyo's eyes bugged
out.He wasn't sure if he was more
shocked at Goku's story, the fact that he'd actually said "Sanzo pounding Hakkai's ass" or how
hot he found the mental image of Sanzo bending Hakkai over a piece of
furniture.Maybe he was just a tiny bit
gay after all.

He dumped the rest
of his beer down his throat at that thought.He realized Goku seemed to be waiting expectantly for the amazement he
seemed to think his story deserved.Actually, maybe it was a
little bit amazing.

"You saw that
and lived!?"

Goku giggled."Yeah, they promised to feed me whatever
I wanted that day all day long if I didn't say anything."

Gojyo nodded
agreeably at Goku's explanation but privately, he was surprised that Goku's
silence was so cheap to buy.Not that a
day of buying whatever Goku fancied was cheap, really, considering his ungodly
appetite.However, the teen could have
continued his blackmail until Sanzo gave up and fed him a bullet instead.

"And of course,
whenever they want to go at it these days, they usually give me money to keep
me from bugging them."Goku grinned
and patted his manga smugly.

Gojyo couldn't help
but smile at that.He didn't appreciate
being manipulated by Goku but the thought that Sanzo was getting the same treatment
amused him greatly.Especially
now that it really wasn't necessary with Gojyo catching them in the act
tonight.

"Okay,
monkey.I'll give you my buns and sweets
for the next two weeks but just don't tell the other two that I know their
little secret.If you did, they'll
probably stop bribing you anyways."

Goku cocked his
head, probably not having thought of that possibility.Gojyo relaxed, knowing that Goku wouldn't go
back on his word and spill the beans or try to steal more of Gojyo's food now
that Gojyo had planted in his head the threat of Sanzo's
forced generosity coming to a stop.Goku
wasn't the only one around here who could play mind games.

Goku shrugged,
faking nonchalance as he brushed the garbage off his bed onto the floor.He washed the candy out of his mouth with
some more orange soda before crawling under the covers.He seemed content now, snuggling down to a
pleasurable night of candied wet dreams and big burgeoning cavities, Gojyo supposed.

Gojyo ground his
cigarette out in the ashtray and flicked the light off, settling down in his
own bed.He'd be lucky if he got a wink
of sleep, all things considered.Even
worse, he might possibly have homoerotic dreams about the two scariest members
of the ikkou.Now that would be a nightmare.

Gojyo blinked into
the darkness and hoped for the best.

After a moment,
though, Goku shifted in his own bed to face him and broke the silence.

"Hey,
Gojyo."The
sheets rustled quietly."Are you
jealous of them?"

His eyes glinted in
the moonlight that fell through the window.

Gojyo's stomach did
a strange little somersault.He decided
that the warm beer wasn't settling well in his gut.

"Fuck no, why
the hell would you say that!?"

Goku was quiet for a
moment."I thought you had a thing
for Hakkai, you know."

How many times do I have to tell people that I'm not fucking gay!!??

"No, I don't know, and no, I don't have a thing for Hakkai.Are you jealous that Sanzo's
boning him instead of you?"

Gojyo was actually
kind of curious how the teen was taking to Hakkai's relationship with the man
he worshipped.

"Ew, no!"Goku genuinely sounded a bit grossed out.

Gojyo smiled into
the darkness.It looked like the kid had
a chance of growing up with some semblance of normalcy after all.Gojyo relaxed into his sheets, feeling a bit
sleepy after all, no doubt the effects of his earlier orgasm and the beer
hitting his system.Although some heavy
liquor would have been more appropriate tonight, he thought wistfully.

"You know,
though..."

Damn, can't the monkey just let a pervert sleep when he needs it?Gojyo sighed with a little frustration.

"What?"

Silence.

Gojyo rolled his
eyes and shifted to his other side so that Goku and his annoying noise was at his back.

Goku didn't say
anything else so Gojyo shut his eyes and tried to sleep.Distantly, he heard the yowl of the prowling
cat.He sounded horny.

Goku shifted around
in his blankets again, the manga falling to the floor
with a soft thump as he wiggled closer to the edge of the bed.

"Sometimes I
can hear them when they think they're being quiet," Goku whispered.

Gojyo cringed in
silent sympathy.He'd never heard them
even once before tonight, but then again, Goku had sharper senses than the rest
of them.Poor kid.No wonder he funneled his pubescent energy
into eating - those two psychos had probably turned him off sex forever.

Goku was quiet again
and Gojyo thought his pained confession was the end of it.Gojyo tried to think of a response but he
figured that Goku didn't want to hear about his
experience dealing with the lasting emotional scars that overhearing other
people having sex could do to the psyche.He kept his mouth shut and pretended to sleep but Goku either didn't
notice or care.