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A much needed and fabulous week in Quebec has me playing catch up on blog posts. I’m going to jump back into blogosphere with the rest of our survey responses.

The Buffer Zone Dysfunctional Family Survey results are in and the goal is to post one every day or so or three. The main question of our survey was: Without naming names, who is the relative in your family that causes all the drama? And what incident best illustrates their craziness, “personality” or friction they bring to your family?

“Recently engaged, my fiancé and I attended a church service on Mother’s Day with my soon-to-be mother-in-law and sister-in-law. After a sweet sermon on the importance of mothers in our lives, as well as women who mother us, and the hymns were sung, the pastor invited all mothers to take one of the small potted petunias displayed in the foyer. My husband’s sister was beaming as she proudly carried her petunia in front of her 2nd trimester belly.

As the mothers began to leave the sanctuary and collected their petunias, it was evident that the church had purchased too many plants. The pastor then invited ALL the ladies in attendance to take home a petunia, so I picked one up off the table and casually walked out the front door. My (now) sister-in-law stormed out the door after me, and slung her petunia down the front steps, shattering the pot on the sidewalk below. She actually stamped her foot like a toddler, and proceeded to rant about the unfairness of it all. How would anyone identify her and other mothers if just anyone got a petunia? What was the meaning of Mother’s Day if non-mother’s got a gift? She continued her hissy fit until my (now) mother-in-law shushed her. The other members of the congregation just glanced at her as they filed out. At the time, I thought they pretended not to see her tantrum in order to save my mother-in-law any embarrassment, but I know now that they were just used to her behavior. And, I’m sorry to say, I now am also.”

My goodness me, what a sterling example of Christian behavior! I hope someone pointed out to this anonymous respondent’s sister that she technically wasn’t a mother, and therefore not entitled to a seventy-nine cent petunia either. She was a mother-TO-BE, as well as self-centered, and a bunch of other words I won’t mention because this display of temperament happened at a church.

According to an AP article and police report from Jacksonville, FL Sheriff’s Office, Costarakis offered an undercover officer $5000 to kill her daughter-in-law. She met the officer at Home Depot on Wednesday, I guess thinking he could pick up whatever tools he would need while he was there, and told him that if he didn’t kill her, she would.

After being arrested, Costarakis told police that her daughter-in-law was a drunk, a bad mother, and was leaving her son and taking her 6 year old granddaughter to Denver.

Angela Costarakis, seemingly bewildered, told WJXT that her MIL’s statement wasn’t true, and that “I am beyond sad and it breaks my heart because it messes up the family.” Angela added “I have compassion. I don’t want to see anyone spend the rest of their life in jail. However, I’m still dealing with it. I just found out. I have not wrapped my head around it.”

Angela, I agree that’s a pretty messed up family, and personally feel like you are being way too generous. On the bright side, you won’t have to listen to your mother-in-law make sarcastic comments about your lumpy turkey gravy on Thanksgiving, because she is being held without bail in the Duval County Jail.

Welcome to the THE BUFFER ZONE!

Hi! I'm Diane, the older, bossier sister who is responsible for offending people on this blog. Visit us often for tips on how to avoid your dysfunctional family through geography, restraining orders, and feigned schizophrenia.