By body chose to ring in the new year with bright red blood and cramps that would make manly men cry. Or so I'm convinced, but I'm a wimp when it comes to physical pain, so what do I know?

Heat is my way out, so I was looking forward to a nice hot shower before bedtime tonight. I grabbed the pair of shorts without a stretchy waistband (period shorts, they're called in my head), an old blue striped t-shirt, and old underwear (you guessed it--period underwear) and gallavanted into the shower.

I turned the hot water dial until the H was an H and nearly got burned. Thanks, water. I just wanted some gentle heat, not even more pain. Fine, I'll turn on some cold water, too. Fiddled with the temperature a bit. Huh, this is the first time I've had to do this for awhile, I thought as I turned the shower button and washed my hands and face, letting the now-hot water fall down my body and heal it.

I lathered some shampoo into my hair and began to rinse when the hot water was hot no more. Great. I turned the cold faucet off and let the hot water remain, turning it so the H was even more upright, but that didn't help. If anything, it made things worse. Shit.

Now feeling my body tense up at the touch of something cold, on went the soap. This better not last much longer, and it didn't, as I lathered up my body and gave the Navy shower folks a run for their money. It would have been faster if it weren't for, oh I don't know, my waist-length hair.

So now I'm back here still cramping, wondering how a simple pleasure and cure for cramps like a hot shower could have gone so terribly wrong.

At least they should be gone tomorrow.

Oh, and happy new year. I did quite well on my one resolution last year: a meme-free 2009 in LJ. Woot. This year is to get a job. At 600+ applications and six interviews (yes, I had one on New Year's Eve for those I didn't tell), this is looking pretty grim.