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Saturday, August 22, 2009

Tell Me What I Want -- What I Really, Really Want

What do I want?Sometimes that is the hardest question to answer. We have dreams of a better life, or the life we want to be living, but often those are thoughts we let drift around loosely, like fluffy clouds on a breezy day. We admire them. We desire them. But we simply shrug off that we can't have them - because they are unreachable.

Make a listWith lots of coaching, advice and practice I have learned that this is simply not the case. For years now I have been making lists of what I want in my life, what I need to change, what I need to do, and when. If big money was involved, I would scribble the amount (no matter how outlandish) in next to the goal, with the date by which I was targeting to achieve it. This was a regular exercise for me and used to make my husband very nervous.

Here's how it worked for meI remember concluding that a pool was in order to give my daughters memorable summers while both their workaholic parents did their thing. I estimated that we would need 20K for the pool and landscaping. (I also penciled in another 13K to put 10% down on our mortgage). My husband went on record that he wasn't going into debt for a pool ... and where were we going to get the money for all of that?? I had no reason to think that we would have the cash ... but as my mom had taught me, I didn't limit myself in the dream. Instead - I wrote it down and internalized it. I could feel the desire churning in that special part of my being where my optimism resides.

Within months of making my list, our sales manager left my company unexpectedly and I was offered the position even though I had no sales or marketing experience. I was told that I wouldn't get a raise in my base salary as I was so inexperienced, but that there would be opportunity for bonuses if I achieved/exceeded my goals. That's all I needed to hear.

I worked out exactly what sales results would reap the financial rewards I needed to get the pool. The very first commission cheque I received was for $33,000 - exactly the amount I had earmarked for the pool AND the mortgage payment. Funny enough, even though I was absolutely over the moon to get such a lump sum of money - a part of me wasn't surprised. It reinforced what I had always been taught, and what I knew to be true.

Keep in mindOver my lifetime I have created numerous lists. Once most of the goals became realized, I would retire the list and create a new one, carrying over any other unattained (but desired) goals. I think some of the most important things to keep in minds are:

don't get hung up on the dates - if you need more time, so be it. Don't use it as an excuse to abandon the goal.

don't be afraid to write down exactly what you want - or that it will be proof of failure. The failure is in not setting your sights for what you want, and trying.

don't limit yourself when you are setting your goals. Get to the core of what you want. For example, sometimes we may say we want a cottage, but what we really want is a peaceful place to recharge. The universe may have something bigger in store for you so just identify what you want - and not the form that would take (if you are not sure).

nothing is too trivial for the list ... I had getting my molars crowned on my list for years -- and it is still there.

sometimes we can't see how we could possibly achieve the dream -- but don't let that stop you from dreaming. Decide you want; write it down; internalize it; release it to the universe; and be mindful of ways to work towards it. Set a course and navigate in the general direction. Trust. You may just experience an intervention to get you the rest of the way.

No lecture intendedSorry if this sounds like a lecture. The post ended up being so much longer that I intended. It's just that I have had such success with this and I wanted to share it with you. The first time it works, it will feel like luck - and maybe the second time too. By the third time, you will know that you are making it happen for yourself.

Honestly, the biggest challenge I have is dreaming up new dreams to add to the list. All of my dreams have come true. Really. And they can for you too.

I wholeheartedly believe in the "law of attraction" and the ability of the universe to provide! I too have had many wants off my list fulfilled even through circumstances might have seemed to be otherwise. May all your dreams keep coming true! cuz