A blog about another side of me. The softer side of me, the part i let show to the people i trust. I have a surface covering of hardness, it is just a front so people do not take me for granted or take advantage of me!

Friday, June 4, 2010

Pondering...

i was wondering why you would know the truth and not want to say it (I speak of God's word) ?

I did not become born again as an escape. i got born again because i was spiritually aware enough to know that God loved me and the enemy always fight the cause of God.
As soon as i decided to get saved, everything that could g wrong went wrong and i had not confessed with my lips yet, i was just willing to give it a try, everything adverse that could make me become an atheist happened.
Everything about me hit rock bottom; the heavier the boulders the enemy threw at me, the tighter i held on to God, i had not learnt about his word yet!

i am no different now, any time adverse circumstances come, i run to the word of God, now i am older, i recognize that even as the enemy threw me rocks, God always had his children littered along the way, i was always surrounded by true believers.
Because many people were faithful to God in showing me the path to righteousness, i refuse to be unfaithful to God and his plan for my life.

My self worth crashed and yet i held on, my academics crashed, i cried but i wouldn't let go, my family lost cash but i held on even tighter (i can be crazy when i believe something, i'll shut everyone else out and opinions, in my mind, its to hell with it) . I saw Christians fall away for lesser things (they annoyed me, gossiped and called me names, trivial things like that) but in my deepest moments of despair, it was to God i cried and called and after crying and calling, it would seem like he didn't answer but the answer was never one or two steps away.
my walk has taught me that God is faithful to His word, that he loves and cares about me.

when folks try to break me down, i laugh, because the enemy has thrown huge boulders at me and if those boulders could not make me fail, i doubt there is anything that can separate me from the love of God in Christ Jesus.
Christianity is not for wimps but i daresay its also not for bullies for i can proudly say that all my victories proceeded not from me but from recognizing that in my weakest moments, God was still living inside me, he never left, never bailed out.
He will never get angry enough to say 'i will break my word and leave you now', he always stayed and i thank God for that.

I bless the day i met the Holy Ghost, i thank God cos he never let me be content with playing church, or be at ease in Zion, the Holy Ghost knows how to shake me out of laxity. He knows how to push me into position, he never lets me stay in a place of ignorance, he does not let me pretend. He refuses to let me be in a place of hating, unforgiveness, anger, envy etc. He fills me with love time and again. He's always willing to teach me and i bless God for my first spiritual dad who taught me to always be willing to grow.

Every obstacle i face makes me a stronger and a better person. every obstacle makes me know that i am in exactly the right position to receive God's mercy and goodness.
My environment has been wired to bring out the God in me, all the circumstances strengthen and build me more into the christian/woman you made me to be.
Thank you father for everyday you build me by your word and your spirit

John 8:32
"..and you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free"

3 comments:

What a wonderful testimony. Be encouraged sister because even though we walk through the valley of shadow of death, God is right by your side. Psalms 23 has some of the verses that build us and keep us keeping on in Christ. Remember even in the book of James 1:2 the Bible tells us to count it all joy when we fall into various trials because even then like Paul said we are made perfect in our tribulations. Be strong and hold on dear because, YES YOU ARE NOT ALONE!