Penn Satire, Since 1899

Diary of an Addict

Dear Diary,

I’ve been trying so hard to control myself today but the withdrawal pains are awful. I know that I have people depending on me and I need to improve myself, but I gave in today. Not just once, but twice. I CAN’T HANDLE IT DIARY.

I just couldn’t help myself. I just sit around all day, waiting for work. But then when I do work, it takes up so much of my energy. I just get so frustrated, and I NEED TO RELIEVE MYSELF SOMEHOW.

I know my addiction causes problems for my clients and myself. If I don’t stop it soon, I’ll be out of work for certain. I don’t mean to do all of the things that my addiction causes, BUT THEY JUST HAPPEN.

I feel like nobody understands. Everyone just yells at me, calls me names, and sometimes even kicks me. I HAVE FEELINGS DAMNIT.

I need to go get more help, or else I’ll never control my sock addiction.