One day, there were two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it. The other boy couldn’t figure out why his friend was at the bush for so long. The other boy went over to the bush and looked. The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked in the stream. All of a sudden, the second boy took off running. The first boy couldn’t understand why he ran away, so he took off after his friend. Finally, he caught up to him and asked why he ran away. The boy said to his friend, “My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady, I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard, so I ran.”

There was a blonde driving in the country side when she went around the corner and saw an ocean of wheat fields. Then she saw a blonde in a row boat frantically paddling. The blonde driver yelled out, “Hey! It’s blondes like you that give blondes like me a bad name and if I knew how to swim, I’d swim out there and kick your ass!”

A husband got his mother-in-law a cemetery plot for Christmas. It came with a coffin, tomb stone, the works. Next Christmas comes by and the husband gets her nothing. When the mother-in-law asks, “Why didn’t you get me a gift?” the husband says, “You haven’t used the one I got you last year!”

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads, “Cheese Sandwich: $1.50; Chicken Sandwich: $2.50; Hand Job: $10.00.” Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men. “Yes?” she enquires with a knowing smile, “Can I help you?” “I was wondering,” whispers the man, “Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?” “Yes,” she purrs, “I am.” The man replies, “Well, go wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!”

A woman places an ad in the local newspaper. “Looking for a man with three qualifications: won’t beat me up, won’t run away from me, and is great in bed.” Two days later her doorbell rings. “Hi, I’m Tim. I have no arms so I won’t beat you, and no legs so I won’t run away.” “What makes you think you are great in bed?” the woman retorts. Tim replies, “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”

The blonde walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don’t sell anything called bottom deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures him that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more. “I’m sorry,” says the pharmacist, “we don’t have any.” “But I always get it here,” says the blonde. “Do you have the container it comes in?” “Yes!” says the blonde, “I will go and get it.” She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist, who looks at it and says to her, “This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant.” The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container: “To apply, push up bottom.”

A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded around a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing, they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot. Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, “Your duck is a rip-off! I put him on the pot before a whole audience and he didn’t dance a single step!” “So?,” asked the duck’s former owner, “did you remember to light the candle under the pot?”

An American tourist walks out of a Mexican train station when he notices he isn’t wearing his watch. A Mexican man is resting under a sombrero under a nearby tree. The American approaches the Mexican and asks, “Excuse me, do you know what time is?” The Mexican looks at the donkey, grabs its balls, and replies, “4:30.” The American asks, “How do you know that?” The Mexican replies, “Well you get a handful of the donkey’s balls and lift them up so you can see that clock across the street.”

A blonde, brunette and redhead were smoking cigarettes one afternoon. The blonde had Camels, redhead had Marlboros, and the brunette had Kools. It began to pour down raining, so the redhead and brunette both pull out condoms and put them on their cigarettes. The blonde asks, “What are you doing?” and they reply, “We’re saving it for later.” Impressed, and in a hurry, the blonde goes to the nearest store and asks for a condom. The clerk says “What size: small, medium, or large?” She answers, “I don’t know, one to fit a camel?”

A gynecologist notices that a new patient is nervous. While putting on the latex gloves, he asks her if she knows how they make latex gloves. The patient says no. The doctor says, “There is a plant in Mexico full of latex that people of various hand sizes dip their hands into and let them dry. She does not crack a smile, but later she laughs. The doctor says, “What’s so funny?” She says, “I’m imagining how they make condoms.”

Q: Why is sex like math? A: You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.

A blonde decides to try horseback rising. On her first outing, the bouncing horse causes her to lose control. As she’s thrown from the horse, her foot catches in the stirrup, so she lands head first. Just as she loses consciousness, the carnie stops the carousel.

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he’s drinking it the monkey is running wild. The monkey jumps up on the pool table and grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender is livid and says to the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just did?” “No. What did that stupid monkey do this time?” says the patron. “Well, he just swallowed the cue ball off the pool table, whole” says the bartender. “Yeah, well I hope it kills him because he’s been driving me nuts,” says the patron. The guy finishes his drink and leaves. Two weeks later he comes back with the monkey. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running wild around the bar again. While the man is drinking his drink, the monkey finds some peanuts on the bar. He grabs one, sticks it up his butt, then pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. “Did you see what your monkey did now?” he asks. “What now?” responds the patron. “Well, he stuck a peanut up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it” says the bartender. “Well, what do you expect?” replied the patron. “Ever since he ate that darn cue ball he measures everything first!”

A man walk into a bar and says, “Give me something to drink just no vodka.” The bartender asks, “Why? That’s your typical drink of choice.” The man replies, “Because last night I got drunk and blew Chunks.” The bartender says, “Well, it’s normal to blow chunks if you drink too much. The man says, “No, Chunks is my dog.”

America it seems is now wielding the ‘big stick’ in the Brexit campaign in a shameless effort to get Britain to stay in the European Union. What this has to do with America is beyond me, for it is something the British people must decide for themselves.

But Obama has waded in by saying that should we leave, any trade agreements with America could take ten years to be ratified – Why? To my mind, any trade agreements we have with the USA have nothing whatsoever to do with Europe, for it would be between them and us.

This is just out and out blackmail to help Cameron in his efforts to convince the British people that we should stay in the Union. Now Hillary Clinton has waded into the fray by saying that she too believes we should stay.

To say that these revelations are annoying is putting it mildly, but the American government would control the world if it had a chance, and this is just a another example of their meddling.

I apologise to the American people for this outburst, for this is not a slight against them, for I guess they know as well as I do how their government operates. The USA may well be the most powerful country in the western world, but there is no excuse for throwing its weight around in things that do not concern them.

I may not be a politician or even a businessman, but I fail to see what influence Britain’s separation from the E.U. has to do with trade agreements between our two countries. We have been working together ever since the Second World War and there is no evidence of problems with trade agreements that are mutually beneficial to us both. They are between Britain and the USA and have nothing whatsoever to do with the rest of Europe.

There can be little doubt that the way the E.U. is heading, i.e. a single state controlled from Brussels is not a good thing, for the members of the European Council have already proven their incompetence time and time again with their stupid rules and regulations.

Our Justice system has been all but destroyed by the interference from the Human Rights Commision, and our country is being overrun by immigrants because we no longer have control of our borders. This is just two of the most important examples.

National government control in all European countries is slowly being eroded away by those idiots in Brussels and to what purpose, to form the United States of Europe under their sole control.

Their total incompetence has also been for all the world to see over the past year with the refugee crisis that has caused major problems for every country in the Union.

Britain needs to get out from under the stranglehold that is tightening around every European nation, and you can be almost certain that should Britain leave, many other countries will follow.

There is already unrest among the common people in countries like France, Germany, Holland, Sweden and many others, all caused by the refugee crisis. This is a sure sign that given the chance, many would vote ‘out’ because it would mean they can once again control their own borders.

The European Union was a fine idea when it first started because it meant real cooperation between member states, but when you consider that the people in Brussels have got ‘too big for their boots’, the whole plan is falling apart. The amount of control they wish to maintain over member states is becoming intolerable.

I sincerely hope that the people of Britain will not be swayed by Obama’s comments during his stay in the country, for it is up to each and every individual to make up their own minds and vote accordingly.

Britain is being hammered by polls at the moment covering the Brexit issue, and to be honest I think they are a waste of time. There have been dozens, and each one gives a different result ending in total confusion for the public. One says the ‘In’ People are winning and another says that the ‘Out’ people are, so what can you make of it. Well, nothing really!

Not Worth A Damn

It all depends on the size of the poll and where it was carried out. If you go to the heart of London where people are bankers or work for international businesses the answer is sure to be that we stay in. On the other hand if you go to a town in the Midlands the answer may well be that we should leave.

Do you ask 100 people or a thousand, or maybe several thousand, either way the result will be skewed depending on where it is carried out.

Polls in the past have led to some pretty drastic results which have all been nullified when the final results come in. The last election is a prime example where the poll results were turned on their head come election day.

To me polls are a total waste of time because they do not represent the true feelings of the public, and are usually so small as to be totally insignificant.

Leaning The Other Way

It is up to each individual in the country to make up their own mind and vote as they see fit on polling day. So from this you can gather that no-one will know the final results until they are in on the day of the election. It is important that people do not allow themselves to be swayed by the results of these advance polls, for they are not representative of the true feelings of all the public on this question.

We have our champions for leaving and staying, among them Boris Johnson and the P.M. David Cameron both of whom have their own views. There are of course many others, and it is up to each individual to make their minds up as to what they believe is right.

We hear so much scaremongering among some of the politicians who tell us that we are heading for a fiscal catastrophe if we leave the union, but I don’t believe any of them.

Let’s face it, for a start we would save £362 million a week if we leave, which is our contribution to the E.U. Fund. It may not sound a lot to some people, but imagine what we could do with that money. As someone said, it would solve all the problems in the NHS! It would also solve a lot of other problems that we are suffering.

Currently A Free Ride

One of the best things that would come out of a Brexit is that we would once again be able to control our borders, something we have not been able to do since Tony Blair. Our problems do not only concern the immigrants from outside the E.U., but also those from within. We currently have hundreds of thousands of Polish migrants who have come here to work and open up shops etc, and we can add to that Romanians and others who come here to a certain extent to live off benefits.

Imagine what will happen when (a) the visa free travel for Turkey to Europe becomes law, or (b) when Turkey joins the E.U.. We will see hundreds of thousands of Turks moving into Europe, and many will want to come to the U.K. because of our lax benefits programme. Should Bexit become a reality we can at least close our borders and concentrate on getting our current problems sorted out. I am sure that Britain will go through a period of hard times, but we will recover and eventually turn out to be the winners in all this.

What The Papers Have To Say About Strasbourg

Another major advantage will be that we can get rid of the Human Rights commission in Strasbourg and begin once again to practice the proven efficiency of the British Law System. There will be no more criminals let off because of these interfering idiots in Strasbourg who love to side with killers and criminal immigrants.

The people in Brussels are constantly trying to increase their influence in the running of member countries, for there is little doubt that their final aim is to form a United States of Europe ruled from Brussels. This means that at some time in the future we could see all the governments of every nation put out of business and Brussels makes all the rules and governs each country.

Will This Become The Flag Of All European Nations?

When the E.U. was formed everyone had high hopes of making Europe one of the most successful continents on the planet, but as we have seen over the years, things have steadily got worse, and it will get even more so as more years go by.

So the message is, forget these stupid polls, make you own mind up and don’t be swayed by them. In June we will see who comes out on top, and for myself I hope it is the ‘Leave’ campaign.

According to news reports ISIL are moving into Libya in ever-increasing numbers and this does not bode well for Europe. They are being slowly beaten in Syria and Iraq and it makes sense for them to try and take over another country.

Libya is already rocked by conflicting parties who wish to control the country and now ISIL are joining the fray. With their tactics they are sure to increase their influence over areas where they already hold a great deal of control like Benghazi, Sirte and Tripoli among others. All coastline towns and cities.

They have for some time been attacking the oil fields in Libya, intent on gaining control of the oil output from the country.

The worrying thing about ISIL gaining control of Libya, is the fact that now the border with Turkey has all but been sealed for refugees, the main route open to them is crossing the Mediterranean from Libya to Italy. If ISIL gain control of this country we will see the flow more than double over the next year.

Part of the problem is that they will surely ship many of their terrorists among the refugees as they have last year and this. If this happens then the number of terrorists attacks on the European mainland will increase drastically.

Into The Water Until They Drown

From events up until now it is clear that Europe is one of their main targets for these attacks, and the more of them that get here the wider will be their plans of operation. As we have seen from the Paris and Brussels attacks, they do not carry out them themselves but persuade local Muslims to do their dirty work for them. This makes it difficult for the European law enforcement forces to track down and eliminate these people and so they live to plan fresh attacks.

Due to the warring factions in Libya, and the fact that there is not a single government controlling the country, this makes things easier for ISIL because defence against them cannot be properly coordinated.

They are losing ground slowly from the attacks by Syrian and Iraqi forces in these two countries, and with the help of other nations like Russia, the USA and some European countries they will eventually be thrown out of these lands. But, if they end up taking Libya it will start all over again.

The Last UN Joint Action

I said many times in the past that the best solution for all the world’s terror group problems is for the United Nations to get off its fat backside and take some positive action against this menace that has spread across more than 100 countries in the world. All the groups causing so many problems are Muslim and it is time for a concerted effort to stop it cold.

All countries that have an insurgency problem should call on the U.N. to do something about it, for the main responsibility of the U.N. is to ensure world peace. Since the Korean War that has become a joke, so if this means an international U.N. force must go from country to country and wipe them out, so be it. A concerted action of this magnitude would put an end to this reign of terror.

If it means gathering an international force like they did in the Korean War in 1950, then so be it. The ordinary people have a right to live without the constant threat of terrorism.

The massive influx of refugees into Europe has been caused solely by ISIL, and if an international U.N. force went into the Middle East and Africa and wiped them out they could all return home and take the tremendous pressure off European countries. The same can be said for Boko Haram in Nigeria and al Shabab in Somalia, the Taliban in Afghanistan and many other groups.

Lier!!!!

The sad thing is, the commitment of the U.N. to ensure world peace has become a joke and is farthest from their minds. All they have done is verbally ‘Condemn’ the actions of these people, but take no action whatsoever! I wonder what they would do against aliens if they attacked our planet? Probably ‘Condemn’ them too!

First let me say that I have great respect for the Pope and for all the good he is doing, but, and it’s a big but, he really does not know what he is talking about with the migrant crisis. For a long time now he has been saying that Europe should open its doors fully to those pouring across the Mediterranean in their hundreds of thousands, and all countries should take them in.

It would appear to me that he thinks only of the humanitarian approach to this problem, but does not consider the great harm it will do to Europe. If Europe threw open its doors to all and sundry we would be completely overwhelmed by the millions coming here for a better life. The economy of every country would collapse totally and it could lead to an internal war.

There is just not enough housing or jobs for all these people and they would all end up living off benefits. The benefit system in every European country cannot take the huge strain of such a situation and the entire economy would collapse.

What Could Go Wrong?

On top of this, how would you separate the economic migrants from those fleeing war in their own country? From the 1.82 million that came to Europe last year it has been proven that two thirds of them are economic migrants, even though they all claim to be from Syria. They have come here for the handouts, free lodging and to line their pockets, but weeding them out has been impossible due to the huge numbers. But this does not influence the Pope!

On top of that, he does not mention the outrageous attacks perpetrated by members of ISIL who have crossed the Mediterranean under the guise of being refugees. The attacks in Paris and Brussels have been a stark warning to all European countries that we are entering a dangerous situation with the Muslims. Yes, I understand they are radicals, and yes, they are not typical of all Muslims who come here, but there is a great deal of sympathy for their cause among ordinary Muslims. You don’t see mass demonstrations by Muslims on the streets of our cities against ISIL do you?

The Pope With Refugees

I was quite amused when I heard that he was taking twelve migrants back home to the Vatican. Where is he going to house them? In his own quarters? No matter what he thinks, these are Muslims who want nothing to do with religion outside of their own. I can guarantee you that even if they step foot in the Vatican, because it is the seat of a foreign religion they will not want to stay long. I cannot imagine them saying their five-times daily prayers to Allah in the Vatican church! Can you imagine the Vatican ringing to the sound of ‘Allah U Akbar’ five times a day? I can’t.

Mind you, it is possible he will hand them over to the Rome councils to give them a home in the city somewhere, we shall have to wait and see.

Although a pious man filled with good intentions, he does not understand the great harm that his idea would bring to Europe. We have seen in Britain that they are very happy to come here when they arrive, but once they have settled in their attitude changes. They become Muslims again!

One Muslim’s Message

They want nothing to do with the British people, and prefer to set up ghetto’s or take over whole towns like Bradford so they can live the Muslim way. They have absolutely no interest in integrating into the local population, as we have seen in Britain, and they prefer to live apart so they can live the ‘Muslim way’!

If Europe were to do the Pope’s bidding and open all doors to every Muslim that wants to come here the continent would become Muslim in no time at all. If anyone has doubts they should read my previous post that tells it from the perspective of a former government minister who headed Britain’s Equalities and Human Rights Commission (EHRC), Trevor Phillips. He found out the hard way while trying his best to get the Muslims to integrate.

Now The Truth Is Known About Muslim Immigrants:

This is not all ‘pie in the sky’ as we say, but hard facts that show the truth about Muslim integration. But please don’t think that I hate all Muslims because of what I write, for that is not true. They are human beings with as much right to live their lives as we do. But they should be more like us and live with what they have rather than try and take over the world.

Roy.

Share this:

Like this:

Roy Peters

Welcome to News, Views and Nonsense.

Hi, and welcome!
I can hardly believe this blog is now more than five years old, for it seems like only yesterday when I took my first hesitant steps. A lot has happened in that time, and I must say it has been a great pleasure to write about, and discuss with visitors all the momentous happenings around the world.
Whether you are a frequent visitor, or someone who just dropped by, I hope you will come back, for you are always welcome.

Now that I am a 'Gentleman of Leisure' I have time to indulge in my hobby of writing short stories. I do it for my own pleasure and not for accolades. Although I recently had offers to publish some of them, I found the cost of publication far too much and unfortunately had to decline.
PLEASE NOTE: The stories have now been removed from my blog and published on Amazon for Kindle readers.
CURRENTLY AVAILABLE ARE ON KINDLE ARE: No Time For Mourning - A day in the life of Battle Of Britain Squadron.
Flight of the Rusty Bucket - A bomber crew take on a dangerous raid over Germany.
The Will To Survive - The desperate struggle for survival on a contaminated Earth in 2050.
Rescue Mission. A sequel to The Will To Survive. Our hero, along with two companions, undertakes a dangerous rescue mission.
Escape from the Taliban - An SAS team are captured and must escape a vicious Taliban leader.
The Sinking of the Rodney Star - The desperate days of WW2 Atlantic convoys.
Deadly Duel - The massacre of American troops in the Ardenne
Strike By Night - Commando raid just after D-Day 1944
Code-name Falcon - A WW2 French resistance story
Hell's Valley - The continuing battle against the Taliban in Afghanistan.
Lifeboat - The crew of a sunken WW2 convoy vessel fight to survive the merciless Atlantic ocean.
A Refugee's Story - The desperate journey of hope for a Somalian refugee.
Secret of the Golden Sphinx - Murder and intrigue in Ancient Egypt.
Alien City - Two young people stumble upon a secret alien city.
They cost only $0.99 or equivalent so feel free to browse on the Kindle Store webpage.
Roy.

We see all over the world fighting going on and it will not stop. When I was young the world was at peace, except for the Russians and they did not do anything except make threats. The world was a peace in the sixties, but today the world has moved on and war is everywhere. […]

The whole world is going crazy and it is the people that are to blame. When will we become sane in this world and look after each other. There are millions of people who are starving to death and the countries do nothing about it. In Africa there are thousands of people who are dying […]

Everywhere except Europe is in a mess! Once the world was a peaceful place, and today it is a controversy of war and demonstrations. There are battles going over the whole world and we must put a stop to it. In South America there are demonstrations in most countries and they are not giving up. […]

Why are so many people bent on killing other people? In England the situation is getting worse as more murders are carried out. Why? Years ago Britain lived in peace and there were hardly any murders, and those that were caught were hanged. We have to get back to this. Most of the murderers are […]

Wars are happening all through Africa, Syria and the Far East and it is mostly to do with terrorists. How are going to stop them? The United Nations should step in and end it all so that the world can return to peace. But they do nothing about it except discuss the terrorists. During the […]

All over the world the temperatures are getting hotter, and the there seems no end to it. In Europe the weather is climbing, and it will rise in August. When winter comes there will be cold and snow everywhere and the we will be up to our eyeballs in snow. The weather is changing and […]

This world is getting worse by the minute, and we see whole countries in turmoil. The people are protesting against the government for their rights. Such is the world today, country after country riot against the government, but they do not care about the people. They pass laws that have nothing to do with the people […]

Its getting hotter and hotter this year and it won’t end until winter comes, and who knows what the winter will bring. In the Middle East its well over forty degrees, and we can expect close to forty degrees in Europe this August. All over the world it is getting hotter and the weather is […]

What is happening with Brexit? We are groping towards a showdown with the European Union and we do not seem to be getting any closer. Theresa May should be putting a hard fist down on Brexit but she is not doing that. We have to call an E.U. Council meeting and discuss the plans for […]

The whole world is in turmoil at the moment, and it has been that for years. When is the world going to be at peace? It does not seem likely for the future unless we go to war in which the whole world will be destroyed. When the war is over then there will be […]

Why is there is there violence all over the world? In every country it’s crazy, for all countries have attacks on humans and there is no stopping it. The police do their best to stop the violence but they are not having enough clout. In most countries there is attacks against the police and innocent […]