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Friday, May 31, 2013

Its Fiction Friday. As normal, escape pod here if this is not your thing.

The Outpost - Part 3

The captain look through the collection of 'weapons' that the Uneffected had stored. There were two old pistols and a shotgun with limited ammunition. 150 year-old relics that the Captain feared my explode in the face of whoever pulled the trigger. The rest were mostly crude swords, axes and spears made from what could be salvaged in the lower parts of the outpost. Not really a lot to go to war with a bunch of hulking mutants. He inspected the pistols carefully.

"Is this all you have?"

"Yes this is our only armoury" replied Katmisu.

Katmisu was one of the Uneffected tasked with helping the crew with whatever they needed. He was in his mid-twenties and the Captain had learnt was part of the security detail for the Uneffected. The Captain had learnt a lot about the Uneffected in the last few hours. They were an organised society living a hard life against the odds. From the hundreds that were down there when the disaster struck, only a few dozen remained. The harsh conditions, lack of food and medical supplies and of course the attacks from 'The Others' that occurred had diminished the numbers over the decades. They all held various occupations and knowledge was passed down from father to son, mother to daughter. It struck him as very old fashioned. There were even engineers who maintained the water recycling and lifesupport systems. All of the knowledge passed down over seven generations since the disaster. From what he had been able to find out, the reactor was on the bottom level of the outpost. Minor maintenance was carried out by two men and two young boys who were learning the trade. They had promised to show him after they had rescued Natsumi and Riku.

The captain picked up an axe and felt its razor sharp blade.

"Good workmanship. You guys have done a great job down here with what you have."

Katmisu beamed a smile.

"But have any of these been tested on 'them' yet?" the captain asked.

"Yes sir. The main accesses between us and the Others had been blocked. But there are other passageways, pipes and vents, some we still don't know about. Over the years we've blocked them up. But its come at a cost. There was a recent attack no more than 100 sleeps ago. 3 of us were killed and 2 taken. We managed to kill one and seal up the route they used. They are very hard to kill" Katmisu replied.

The Captain swung the axe through the air.

"We'll soon see."

Chan entered the armoury and nodded at Katmisu. He handed the captain his datapad. The captain looked at it and saw the status of the Hope which showed its power reserves were critical.

"Well I say we're stuck here until we wipe out a population of sadistic, canabal mutants, rescue two crew members from being eaten alive and somehow fix a power line between a 150 year old reactor an our ship and rescue a population that have been cut from the rest of the cluster for 150 years. Did I miss anything?"

Chan laughed.

"No Captain, I think you covered everything we need to do in that wonderfully motivating speech!"

The Captain smiled to hide his underlaying concerns. Docked, the Hope was using even less energy now. Only the engineering bay had life support running to keep it warm and allow them to do any work they needed to without the clumbersome suits. However, even on this minimal requirement the capacitor wouldn't last more than two or three days. Trying to fix everything with a completely dead ship would be even more difficult.

"Well the ships looking good. We've easy got a week left on the cap now we're docked up. Easy life!" he lied.

Chan nodded, smiled and walked away, also hiding his fears for them all.

-o0o-

Natsumi screamed louder as the thing approached. It continued to smile through its hideously deformed face. A three fingered hand slowly reached for her face.

"Ktach Biins Hatacha!" it whispered.

She struggled in her bonds, but it was useless. Hanging by her wrists from the pipe prevented any escape as its fingers touched her face. She saw what she originally thought were claws were in fact deformed fingernails. The scratch marks along each one showed they had purposely been filed down to talons, probably by a rough stone. She looked at the hideous face. It wasn't some kind of alien, it was a human she realised, a horrifically deformed human.

"Moucha aar faka" it said in a low tone whilst slowly running its fingers gently down her face. She screamed again at its touch.

"Arin gar haznar" it continued as one of the wicked talons sliding down her cheek broke the skin. It held its head close to hers and an impossibly long tongue stretched from its mouth and licked the blood running from the shallow wound. Natsumi screamed even louder.

"OI! PRETTY BOY! WHY DON'T YOU TAKE ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE?". The shout from across the cavern.

Natsumi recognised Riku's voice.

The creature backed away from her and went to the entrance and placed its hand against the wall on some sort of switch. Bright lights illuminated the cavern and blinded Natsumi for a few seconds until her eyes adjusted to the levels. She saw Riku in what had been a darkened corner hanging by his wrists. He had a wound to his head and she assumed he'd fought back in the gardens and had been knocked out. Her screaming must have brought her round.

"Yeah you, you ugly son of a bitch. Why don't you try that crap with me. I'll kick your fat ass from here all the way over to Cloud Ring!"

"Mata hashii gabon" the creature responded with an evil grin and started walking over to Riku.

"Yeah, thats right. Come at me bro!" Riku continued still thrashing in his bonds. The creature moved slowly and delibrately. This was due to its grossly deformed legs, however, it did give the creature a menacing approach.

"I advise you not to goad the Yulaki. They tend to partially disembowel first before taking their victims in rather unplesant ways." a voice came from the entrance.

Riku's and Natsumi's heads snapped over to where the voice came from. The creature backed off from Riku and stooped down in a fearfully subservient posture.

The man at the door was deformed, but no where near as bad as the ones they had seen. This one was tall and sickly thin. Most of his body was proportioned correctly other than his head which appeared to be enlarged and swollen. Thick blue viens snaked over the hairless scalp. He stepped inside and waved a hand from the creature towards the door. It scampered out as fast as its deformed legs could carry it. The deformed man approached Natsumi. She cringed as he extended a hand and ran a finger across the wound on her cheek. He placed the finger in his mouth and sucked.

"Delicious! You'll not believe how boring it is just eating from the hydroponics. I've not tasted blood in nearly 90 days!"

"Who, who.... what are you?" Natsumi stammered.

"Oh how ghastly of me! Sampling your blood before I have even introduced myself."

The man took a step back and bowed slightly in accordance with the old Caldari customs.

"I am Saburousaburou of the Samuruso family. Delighted to make your acquaintance." Natsumi noted the name was old fashioned and not really in use in modern Caldari society. "But please, call me Sabu."

"So WHAT are you bubble head?" Riku called out. Saburousaburou turned and smiled.

"You have met members of the Yulaki family. They were in the upper-mid levels of the old colony when the primary reactor melted down. My ancestors where in the lower-mid levels. As you can see, we were not whole untouched by the radiation, but not to the extent of the Yulaki. The Uneffected are several decks below us, have you met them yet? A very backward people. In brief, the Yulaki serve us, we rule this station and the Untouched serve as a supplement to our food supply and the occasional entertainment. Any questions?"

"But, those.... things... they are not human. They don't even speak Caldari!" Natsumi said.

"Ah yes. The radiation did terrible things to them. Their deformed vocal cords are unable to pronounce Caldari so they have developed their own simple language to communicate with each other."

"So how do you speak with them?" Natsumi asked.

Sabu smiled.

"Oh, we Samuruso don't need words to communicate." he responded staring deep into her eyes.

Natsumi felt something. What she wasn't sure. She was remembering her childhood for some reason. The memories came flooding back from nowhere. She felt like she was dreaming. Or having a waking nightmare. Reality and old painful memories collided. She screamed and shook in her bonds. Riku was shouting at Sabu telling him to stop. Suddenly he did. His laughter filled the room.

"My, my. Daddy was a naughty boy wasn't he. No wonder you ran away from home. And what's this? Oh, so sad. That is very unfortunate. I have some bad news for you, but that can wait until you are feeling better."

With that he turned and left leaving Natsumi quietly sobbing whilst Riku thrashed in vain trying to free himself.

-o0o-

The Captain was the first to emerge from the outflow pipe into the hydroponics garden. The watering cycle had just finished and the air was heavy with moisture. The plants and trees glistened with fresh droplets of water. Dripping water and the low hum of the air vents was the only sound as the captain stood in silence listening for any possible danger. He held the flat of his palm of one hand facing the pipe to tell the others to wait, his other hand clenched the hilt of the razor sharp axe. After a minute he beckoned the others out. They all were equiped with the make-shift weapons. They had the firearms but had decided to use them only as a last resort. Nobody really knew if the old guns would fire, do nothing, or simply explode in the users hands.

"Remember" started Katmisu in a low voice "Their ribcage is usually fused together and their skulls are very thick. The stomach and neck are the vulnerable parts. They hands and mouths are the danger. They are incredibly strong and they grind their fingernails and teeth to points so they can inflict the most damage. They can gut a man in one swipe."

The group started forward. As well as the remaining four crew, six Uneffected had joined them in this first foray into the mutants levels. The plan was to find the missing two crew members, rescue them and retreat back to the lower levels. They would then get everyone who wanted to come back to the blast doors and form a defensive perimeter. Then six would return to the ship using the suits. One person would ferry back the five suits plus the spare three still on the ship. That way eight people a time could get back to the ship with one returning the suits to the airlock for the next eight. The Captain had estimated it would take five hours to get everyone out. Slow, but it was the only way. However, before they could do that they needed to rescue their crew mates and find a way to route power from the lower reactor to the ship hanger so they could restart the Hope's reactor.

They left the gardens and entered the tunnel system. One of the Uneffected acting as a guide. He'd been on scouting parties to try and recover captured Uneffected before, although they had admitted they had never been successful at rescuing anyone in the past.

A faint scream somewhere far ahead was heard and the group paused.

The scout beckoned them to continue.

Sakuri subtly nodded to the captain and moved over to him. She took the Captains arm and slowed him down. He looked at her and she had a look in her eyes like she had to tell him something. He realised what she wanted and slowed more. The group slowly overtook them and soon they were taking up the rear.

"OK they are out of earshot what is it?" the Captain asked.

"I need to tell you something without the others hearing."

"What?"

"I don't know."

"What??"

"I.... well.... captain I.... my head hurts. I need to tell you..... its urgent....but I have nothing to say.... I don't know what is happening...."

Suddenly an emergency blastdoor slammed down between them and the group. They rushed to the door but the controls were dead. The main group were banging on the otherside. A noise behind the captain and Sakuri made them slowly turn around. There behind them were four mutants, slowly approaching.

-o0o-

Chan looked through the tiny reinforced viewport set in the centre of the blastdoor. He watched as the Captain and Sakuri prepared to fight the mutants.

"We need to go. NOW!" the guide said sternly. "It was a trap. We need to move before they come for us!"

Chan reluctantly joined the back of the group who were now running down the corridor. Another blast door fell from the ceiling cutting Chan from the rest of the group. They were being separated. Chan looked behind him, he'd passed two side corridors and immediately sprinted back to the nearest. The lights flickered and went out. It was total darkness. Chan felt the rough stone wall to guide him, tripping over several rocks that had fallen from the caves walls and ceiling over the decades. He heard a distant laughing. He pulled the pistol from his belt and flicked the safety off. He knew in the darkness scoring a hit on anything coming at him would be luck. But those things were big, he might get lucky.

He continued feeling his way down the corridor until he reached the junction. He entered the side corridor and continued down. The laugh sounded again, this time directly in front of him. Chan squeezed the trigger and the gun fired. The muzzle flash lit up the corridor for a fraction of a second revealing two of the mutants. The grunt from one of them told him the round had hit home. He continued to fire, the flashes from the gun lighting up the corridor revealing the approaching mutants in jerky visions.

The bullets didn't appear to be slowing them much. He pulled the trigger again and the gun exploded. He was blown on his back, bleeding heavily. The last thing he felt before he passed out was a oversized hand grabbing his ankle and dragging him away.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Recently I've been suffering from a bug in game that I've called ghost locking.

It happens when I try to lock a target that I cannot lock due to session change. This is 99% of the time either that I'm dropping out of warp (interference from the warp you are doing is preventing.....) or I am already trying to lock a target dropping out of warp (interference from the warp XXXXXXXX is doing is preventing....).

As normal when spamming lock the targeting recietal gets to 0.3 seconds or so and resets to 0 before moving again with the 'you cannot lock this dude or dudette because....'/target is invulnerable message in between.

Eventually I start to get a lock, the ship appears as a locked target in the upper right of the screen.

I have my mods hot and...... the target vanishes from the upper right of the screen. It was there for a fraction of a second, then it disappeared.

Gone!

The target is still there in space, its just he was locked for all of a fraction of a second. Then I try to lock him again and this time, providing he's not ran away, I get a lock that holds.

I cannot replicate it, it doesn't happen every time. Its just very annoying. Anyone else getting this?

It's not double click cloak fails in their part as I've killed some I've had this issue with and they didn't have a cloak fitted. Its also not because of over-spamming the lock icon as I use control+click on the overview (except for the screenies above where I had a kitten in one had.

A lot of great entries. And I suggested them all to the wife. "Dickstar" did make her raise an eyebrow!

Sebo was close. Q was another that raised an eyebrow. "Q? What like off Star Trek?" "No Q, as in QCat" "eh?"

Anyway I'm sorry to report that none of the suggested names, not even "Dickstar", were acceptable to SWMBO. However...... we did go with a variation and the itteh bitteh sickeh kitteh is now called...... Evie!

I'm happy with that as it is close to Eve and also is the name of the female lead in the Mummy series of movies who wore stockings. Giggity!

So what to do about a prize. I've decided to split it as we didn't have a clear winner as nobody suggested Evie.

The first to suggest 'Eve', which is the closest, was Katangher and they get 500m. To be honest, Eve wasn't my favourite but we couldn't have used my favourite as I cannot be bothered explaining to every vet and visitor why our 3rd cat was called "The Kitanni". 500m to Magnum 0pus for the name that made me physically LOL.

Sunday, May 26, 2013

EDIT - 12:36 Eve Time, 28th - Entries are now closed. Thanks for all the suggestions. Now up to SWMBO.

TL;DR - Suggest suitable Eve-O related name for the new kitteh and you could get up to a billion ISK.

Last week the wife left work as usual. Outside of her office there was a kitten sat by the door. And what a sorry state it was in! There are a lot of stray cats here, and I mean a lot. This kitten was about 6 weeks old. It was filthy and its white coat was a mucky grey from living in the trash dumpsters. It was crawling with fleas, ticks and lice. It had a bad eye infection causing one of its eyes to be 'glued' shut with gunk. It was coughing and sneezing and clearly malnourished it was very bony and thin. A cute little kitten it was not. However it apparently followed her back to the car meowing pitifully as it went so she "had to" bring it home.

We locked it in the cat box and put it outside in the courtyard after washing its eyes out and giving it some food and water. It was clearly sick and we've already got two cats so wasn't going to put them at risk even if they've had all their jabs and annual booster injections. So it was staying outside until we could get it to the vets. All following pics are pics of the kitteh that requires naming!

We took her to the vets two days later (visiting vet only comes to the town twice a week) and she was washed, de-flea'd, injected, prodded and poked. Generally the vet said it was as healthy as your average stray (they all have cat flu here) and after a few more visits it'll be right as rain. So along with the eye drops, the high-protein veterinarian food, the expensive biscuits, the food additives and the large vets bill it is now sharing the spare room with me for the next month. The 'Computer Room' is now the 'Computer/Sick Kitteh Quarantine Room'. So whilst I am playing Eve I am having to sit back in the chair so the kitteh can curl up on my chest under my chin. I'd post a pic but who really wants to see my hairy man-boobs?

So what does this story have to do with Eve Online? Well we need to name her. So far we haven't as, to be honest, we didn't know if the vet could do anything or would recommend putting it to sleep given the state it was in. Well it looks like it will not only survive, but it is not going anywhere!

So what to call her? This is where you lot come in. The person to suggest the best Eve related name gets 500m ISK. If, and its a big if, I can get that name past the wife, your money doubles to a cool one billion ISK.

So there you go. Name the kitteh and recieve ISK!

Oh and remember to include a toon or alt name in case you win so I know who to throw the cash at!

P.S. I very much doubt the name "Sindel" will be acceptable to the wife even if the kitteh has long legs!

Friday, May 24, 2013

It's Fiction Friday! Here is an escape pod if fiction is not your thing. Its a YouTube video btw!

This is part 2 of 6 of The Outpost horror fiction short story.

The Outpost - Part 2

The six crew stood in the massive airlock as it slowly pressurised. Down on level 50 they had easily found the entrance to the old base. A huge blast door nearly 10 metres wide and 4 metres high. Behind that was another similar door which created a massive airlock.

"This must have been the original entry airlock for the old colony." mused Chan "They simply built the new, more modern outpost on top."

There was power here inside the airlock, the old reactor apparently was still functioning and appeared to be still powering the old section of the outpost. The red light in the airlock turned green and amber strobe lights flashed at the far door. There was a low rumble as the door slowly lifted. Sakuri held out her scanner towards the corridor. Unlike the upper levels, the corridor here was rock, carved from the asteroid itself.

"Minimal sir. I'm getting minor elevated readings but its long-wave I'm guessing the initial pulse from the reactor ripped through here like the rest of the outpost." she pointed at a skeleton slumped in a corner near the airlock. "But it hasn't lingered. I'm guessing these rocks aren't good at holding residual radiation like the metal structures above."

With that Sakuri clipped the scanner to her belt and unclipped her helmet and removed it from her head. The other five looked at her in shock. She smiled back taking a deep breath.

"Good clean air! I can also feel a slight breeze. The life support systems must be still online after 150 years! I guess they don't make 'em like they used to" she laughed. "Local gravity generators are also functioning. This is great!"

One by one the others removed their helmets and breathed the fresh air.

"OK lets move out. Unless anyone fancies spending the rest of their lives in this cave, we've got a ship to fix." the captain said.

The six placed their helmets in a stack by the massive door and removed their cumbersome suits before heading off down the rocky corridor.

-o0o-

The rocky corridor continued on for a while, several side rooms were investigated but appeared empty. Eventually the crew stopped outside a large metal door which was out of place given the other previous rooms with no doors.

"Hydroponics?" Riku noted the word stencilled along the top edge as they stood by the door.

Sakuri was pressing the open button but it was stuck. There was clearly power there, and the door shuddered on each button press, it just wouldn't open. Hiroto lit a small handheld cutting torch.

"Allow me madam." he said "I have the key!"

One minute later the door sprang open as the area of the door surrounding the locking mechanism fell to the floor, its edges glowing with molten metal. Nobody paid any heed to the old weld marks that crudely criss-crossed the back of the old lock. After taking a few steps inside, the crew of the Hope simply stood their in stunned silence as they stared into what could only be described as a jungle.

"How?" asked the captain.

Sakuri walked forward.

"Its all automated. That huge domed window there provides light, the water system is a sealed system and all recycled. Its just been left here for a hundred years to grow."

Slowly the crew split up and started walking around around the amazing gardens. Large fruit hung from trees and varieties of vegitables thrived in beds below. They continued in silence around the vast room. Sakuri passed some fruit bushes and turned a corner and stopped in utter shock. Before her was a small boy, no more than 12 years old picking carrots from a bed. He turned and froze in terror as he saw her.

"Hey!" Sakuri finally managed "Who are you?"

The boy just froze, looking at her wide-eyed and afraid.

"My names Sakuri what is yours?"

"My.... my name is Kenji."

"Please to meet you Kenji. Where are your parents."

"My mom is down below. She sent me here to get some vegetables for the soup" he said slowly and carefully.

"Sakuri we need to get moving to that...." the captain rounded the corner and stopped when he saw the boy "What the...."

Sakuri held out a hand to indicate to him to stop.

"How... how did you all get in to this room?" stammered the boy.

"Through the door over there" Sakuri replied as calming as she could.

"But what about the others? Didn't they try and eat you?"

Sakuri glanced nervously at the captain and then back to the boy. Her mouth opened to reply but was cut short by a high-pitched female scream. The sound made Sakuri's blood turn cold. She and the captain ran back towards the entrance. They almost collided with Chan, Riku and Takuma. They were stood facing it.

Sakuri felt utter revolution It was humanoid but stood at over seven feet tall and was heavily built. Its skin was reddish and covered with growths, warts and hideous sores that leaked puss. Its deformed right arm hung down almost touching the floor. Its three bloated fingers were almost claw-like. Its head could only be described as grotesque. The ears were deformed and pointed, one eye was twice the size of the other and they were unlevel. Its cheeks sagged and hung low. It snarled at the five crew displaying a twisted mouth containing only a few teeth, all of which were filed down to a wicked point. Over its left shoulder it was carrying the unconscious body of Natsumi.

"Sakuri, as science officer of our top-flight, elite crew, I wonder if you could kindly tell me what the frack our new 'friend' is." the captain said in a low and measure tone.

"Sir, I'm not sure. But at a guess, that is the great-great-great-grandson, or may be granddaughter, of the crew that were trapped in this section when the reactor blew. If you wanted me to be specific its actually probably seventh generation from the original crew, but I thought you might be OK with me just being quick and skipping a few great-great's on its probably family tree. It has classic radiation-based mutations, but I've never heard of anything having so many together and surviving. I'd also like to add in my professional opinion that it is probably not friendly."

"No shit!" replied the captain "Right what we....."

The Captain stopped as three more of the hulking creatures entered via the door. Each was unique in appearance, but also generally the same, horrifically mutated.

"You cannot beat them. They are too strong." the voice of the boy murmured quietly behind them. "There is a tunnel at the back. It leads to my family. You will fit, they won't. Lets go!"

The four creatures roared in unison as the young boy ran off. The crew exchanged glances and then took off after him. The newly arrived creatures gave chase.

The sound of their footsteps resonated through the cavern. Trees shook and fruit fell onto the metal grating with a clang. Sakuri saw the boy disappear around a corner and followed. There ahead, an emergency outflow pipe had its grating removed. At a metre and a half wide the crew would be able to fit, but those deformed creatures couldn't. She saw the boy duck and vanish into the pipe. She quickly followed with the captain and then Chan. The three looked back and saw Hiroto followed by Riku skid around the corner followed closely by the creatures. Hiroto rushed into the tunnel and collided with Chan. Riku dived into the tunnel but suddenly stopped. He looked at his ship mates in pure terror as he was dragged from the pipe, back into the gardens, his outstretched hand too far away from his crew-mates A mutant appeared at the entrance to the pipe and shoved a deformed arm as far as it could reach. Chan scurried back away from the grasping claws that nearly reached his feet. The creature roared in frustration and then it vanished, and it was silent again.

"We have to go" whispered the boy and the four remaining crew crawled after the disappearing youngster.

The five crawled down the tube with Sakuri muttering quietly under her breath 'Aren't you going to join us?'.

-o0o-

After 10 minutes of crawling through a network of pipes, dropping every few metres, the crew emerged in a small cavern. Sakuri could tell this was the old part of the outpost. Small flickering lights were bolted to the rough-hewn wall and masses of cables and piping ran along the sides, held in place by metal ties.

The boy led them out along a narrow cave which then opened out into a massive chamber. A dozen people milling about suddenly froze at the sight of the strangers.

"It's OK they are friends." called the boy "Mom! I found some people."

Slowly a woman approached. She wore old overalls, Caldari in design that had been patched countless times. She looked in their early 30's. A man suddenly joined her by her side. The man looked very wary of the new arrivals but the woman, she had a welcoming look on her face.

"Welcome to our home." she said before the man pushed in front of her protectively.

"That's far enough." he snapped "Who are you and where did you come from?" he demanded. The woman pushed him out of the way.

"Forgive my friend here. He's a little protective of me. I'm Mayu." the woman said. "But, whilst he is a bit rude, my friend is wanting to know what we all do. Where did you come from?"

"We docked in a ship." replied the Captain who had moved to the front of the group.

Suddenly there were gasps and crieds from the now assembled crowd.

"A ship? You are here to rescue us? After all these years?" Mayu said excitedly.

"Now don't get your hopes up. The ships dead. We need a power source to get it working again. We scanned an active reactor down here and were looking for it when we were attacked by those, those things. What in Divinities Edge are they? They took two of my crew."

The woman looked sad.

"Please come with me and I'll explain everything."

She led the group into a small side cavern which appeared to function as a house. There were beds and cabinets, mostly made from scavenged parts. Sakuri could see they had made the best of it as they could. Warm soup was past around as Mayu told the story that had been passed down through the generations.

She told of the fateful day that the gateway closed. The crew assumed she meant the large double blast-doors that interfaced with the newer outpost construction. Most likely an emergency protocol when the station doors were breached and it began to de-pressurise All in, over 300 people were trapped in the old part of the outpost. They all felt the hot wave of radiation pass over them. Those in the levels nearest the 'gateway' lasted a few weeks before they died of the sickness. Those in the mid-levels suffered sickness but survived. However, their off-spring were hideously deformed. Those in the lowest levels where they were now, appeared to be unharmed. Over the years the two societies separated The mutants, now known as 'The Others' and the 'Uneffected' slowly grew apart until one day a mutant attacked one of the 'Uneffected' and killed them. Tensions raised due to the sadistic nature of the attack. Soon attacks by the mutants increased. It wasn't long before numbers of the Uneffected were dwindling. Eventually, demolition charges were set off in the main corridors, stopping the attacks but also trapping the Uneffected below. However, with the network of pipes, the Uneffected knew they would be able to sneak up to one of the 3 hydroponic gardens and weld the outer door shut providing a safe source of food and water. The mother was unable to tell how long ago that was but the crew guessed it must have only been two or so decades after the disaster. There had been many attacks since, the mutants would open up new passages or find a way through. Now only a handful of Uneffected as they called themselves remained.

"What will become of my captured crew?" the captain asked when she'd finished.

"I'm sorry captain. But the Others are, well they are evil. The dreaded heat all those years ago not only effected their bodies, but also their minds. They are cruel, depraved and sadistic. Your crew will be used for the Others pleasure before gracing their dinner table. The stories we have of what they used to do to us Uneffected, well they are only told as horror stories and never around children. Least to say, being eaten alive comes as a mercy in the end. They say the screams of their victims can be heard for days before they eventually feed on them." she replied with a tear in her eye.

"Sorry. Not on my watch. We're getting them back, powering up the ship and getting off this rock. Anyone of you who helps me and my crew gets a free ride out of here."

And with that the captain rose and strode to the door.

"Coming?"

-o0o-

Natsumi woke with a start. What happened to her? She was in that garden, she turned round, there was that thing, that horrible thing. She must have passed out she thought. She tried to make sense of her surroundings. She was in a cave. It was generally dark but with some light coming from a limited number of dim wall lights. Her arms hurt. Of course they hurt, she was hanging by them. She looked up and saw we wrists were chained to a pipe high above, here feet dangling a foot off the ground.

Suddenly there was a sound. Some sort of wet, throaty laugh. Natsumi thought if she ever heard the devil laugh, she was sure it would sound like that. A hulking figure moved from a dark corner towards here. A twisted smile across its deformed face.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

I generally fly with armour and gun implants in my head. That makes my implants pretty useless when flying a normal fit Kestrel. But I am a fan of mixing it a bit to surprise the enemy. I've previously shown armour Thrasher fits, but taking that a step further we have the armour Kestrel.

Now this can be either light missile kite or close range rocket. The trick is to squeeze a 400mm armour plate in there. Generally you can do this with a 400mm Rolled Tungsten Plate and a Micro Auxillary Power Core in your two lows. Mids I go for long point, MWD, target painter and sebo for the light missile fit. For rockets I go scram and web. Now any normal person who see's a Kestrel will assume its shield tanked. In fact if you come across me in one, it probably is. I love the medium shield extender+rocket fit Kestrel. However sometimes I will undock the 400mm plate version. Any normal player who see's a Kessy in low shield and immediately assume its going down. Then they get sloppy. Suddenly they find they have a extra 1050hp++ to crew through. Oh and most players will have loaded EMP ammo to fight a Kessy, right?

Mixing up your fits is a great way of killing. I don't know if this Firetail pilot looked at my killboard like I do. When I find a lone war target in a system and he's in a plex I'll look up his loss history whilst in warp to the plex. I'll compare his last few losses of that ship type and load the appropriate ammo. If its near to home I might even reship/refit. Some players use the same fit with the same ammo all the time. I'll just bring the ship/fit to counter what they are probably using. If the guy did that to me he'd have seen my last few Kessy losses were MSE and probably assumed that the ship I was in was the same fit. Bad mistake to assume in this game!

So whilst an armour tanked Kestrel might make people go WTF? Don't be too quick to judge. If its taken you by surprise, it may take your opponent by surprise!

-o0o-

Incarna, Missing the Point

This has been a draft post for over two weeks but not had oppertunity to post it, as we're a month past Fanfest and it refers to that I need to post it. Also since we appear to be in the pre-expansion lul and the Caldari Militia is over-run by farmers who get REALLY annoyed if you chase them from system to system, might as well use it whilst its quiet..............

I do feel the summer of rage post Incarna has had it's message diluted. A post-Fanfest post on the Eve-O LinkedIn group, referencing comments made at Fanfest, again suggests that CCP feel that we need 'meaningful avatar gameplay'. People are forgetting what we were mad at, and tend to think the rage was directed at the idea of Incarna. It wasn't.

Generally most people wanted Incarna. Remember the 2009 ambulation video? It got us all worked up in a good way. Then Incarna was released. The problems were not the idea of 'walking in stations' but:-

1. Forcing us to use the CQ with its slow loading times and poor and cumbersome UI. This was especially bad for quick re-shipping. In short, loss of the hanger view (and ship spinning ofc!).
2. Just the Matari quarters. One small box room with bad lighting and rust does not an expansion make!
3. Melted graphics cards. I canny doooo eeeet Captain. I don't have the poooower!
4. Neglecting FiS for 18 months for THAT!
5. AUR being potentially used for pay-to-win.
6. The leaked 'Greed is Good' internal newsletter. Who can CCP be greedy with? Us!
7. Hilmar's leaked HTFU email.

All these combined to cause the riots and unsubbing. Then, as is human nature, the masses started saying "Well I never wanted Incarna in the first place!".

The majority of players wanted Incarna before the expansion itself. It is just after the mess that was the "expansion" has tainted the original idea.

So CCP, let's not neglect FiS but lets get a decent Incarna deployed!

It does not need to be 'meaningful'. Where have you got that idea from? Did we want anything meaningful before Incarna?

Have you already forgot the issues with Incarna? Take ship spinning. Did you reinstate 'meaningful' ship spinning?

Like ship spinning, something does not have to be meaningful for us to enjoy it.

Monday, May 20, 2013

A reoccurring search phrase that brings many people to this blog is this question....

"How do I remove my bounty in Eve Online?" or "How do I get rid of my bounty in Eve Online?"

Whilst different people Google slightly different phrases, they are all looking for the same thing. Someone has put a bounty on them and they want it removed.

Whilst many will tell you "You cannot remove a bounty", that is not 100% true. There is a way to remove that bounty and thus remove that horrible 'Wanted' tag from your in-game portrait if you want to.

How do I do this you ask? Well its rather simple and totally legit. It is not an exploit and won't get you banned for EULA violations. Its a simple use of the bounty mechanics that allows you to get rid of the bounty that someone has put on your head.

You will need a decent ship, a full cargo bay and a course plotted to the system of Nisuwa in the region of Black Rise. This system is inside low-sec so you will need to be careful getting there.

The ship you need for bounty removal depends on the size of the bounty on your head and what you can fly. A Strategic Cruiser is usually a good choice although anything expensive will do. You need to ensure that the cost of the ship is many times more than the bounty that is on your head. This can be easily achieved by using faction, deadspace or even officer modules in your fitting. If you are still not there, as a second option, you can fill your cargo bay with expensive mods and implants. Blueprints are a good choice as these can be expensive and take up little room in the cargo hold if you are struggling for space.

As a rough guide, you need the value of the ship, modules and cargo to be at the very minimum five times the value of your bounty. So if someone has put 100m ISK on your head, your fitted and filled ship needs to be valued at 500m ISK and over.

Sorted that? Good. Now you need to get to Nisuwa. I would recommend avoiding OMS, Heydieles and either side of the Rakapas/Pyne gate which are all pirate gate camp hotspots. Nourukaikan-Tama-Kedama-Nisuwa is a direct route that takes you from the 0.7 of Nourukaikan through two low-sec systems into Nisuwa.

Once there you need to warp to the sun at zero. After you have landed type the following in local:-

"I have a bounty on my head and Drackarn said if I wait at the sun in Nisuwa at 0 in an expensive ship, someone would help me remove it."

Then all you need to do is wait. You can use this time to go make a sandwich or take a long bio break. Hopefully one of the expert 'Bounty Removal Team' that live in Nisuwa, such as myself or one of the other QCats, will attend to your needs whilst you are off doing other stuff. If you have the sound on your computer turned up and can hear low shield, low armour and then low structure alarms going off, don't worry. This is all part of the bounty removal process so no need to panic. Just sit back and enjoy your sandwich.

When you finally get back to your computer you should find yourself automatically back in your home station (no need for a return journey, that's included in the service) and that pesky bounty has gone!

I hope you find this quick guide to getting rid of your bounty in Eve Online useful and please, tell all your friends.

Friday, May 17, 2013

This story is inspired by a horror novel I'm currently reading. Like many of my past pieces, this came from one of those - "How could this story, set in modern day Southern USA, be set in the Eve Universe?" moments. I had an idea! Unfortunately I was in bed at the time so had to get up to make some quick notes. The wife asked me what I was doing and I said I've had a great idea and need to write it down before I fall asleep and forget it! She simply replied "It's about Eve isn't it?".

Eve, my mistress of pleasure!

This was going to be a 'three parter', but it was suggested to make it into six parts. 10-15 minute reads are 'coffee break sized' apparently! It is certainly more of a horror story than I've done before. PEGI-12 it is not (although nothing 'bad' happens in this first part)! If you've ever read Richard Laymon, Edward Lee or Brian Smith (the new author I am reading who gave me the idea for this story) you'll have an idea of what is to come.

The Outpost - Part 1

Five of the crew stood around the chart table in silence. The dull glow from the projector mixing with the dull glow from the emergency lighting gave the room an eerie feel. The silence was deafening. On most starships it was almost impossible to achieve total silence like this. Reactors, ventilation and even idling engines created an ever-present drone. But not on this ship, not now.

"So that's the situation. The 'too long, didn't read' is that the primary coupling on the reactor blew. The reactor is dead and we cannot restart it. Also the explosion sent shrapnel flying and has pierced the outer hull. We're leaking O2. With no reactor, all we have is our capacitor which is slowly draining. This is mainly because I thought given that we need to breath I'd better keep the life support switched on for a bit. The capacitor we have is good for one 45AU warp. Which is a bit of a shit as the nearest gate is 52AU. We're deep in null-sec in a dead-end system that has no settlement and pretty much never has any visitors. So, options? And please, none that involve drinking whisky until we all pass out. I've already got the rights to that plan."

The crew just stood their in silence gazing at the system chart. Each knew the captain was right. They'd gambled everything on the big pay-off and failed. They had pushed their beaten-up frigate too far in search of the big mother-load and had paid dearly for it. 'The Hope' was a salvaging frigate. Designed to work in deep-space scanning down wrecks and taking anything valuable. They had, as a crew, decided to head into nullsec. They were tired over fighting the competition over every bit of scrap metal in Empire space. Here there was the opportunity to hit the big time. But a couple of hours ago there had been an explosion. The reactor was maintained as well as it could be by the ships engineer, but with no money for replacement parts there was only so many times the repairs could be bodged. Their luck had finally run out.

"So what do we need to fix the reactor?" asked Riku the pilot.

Hiroto the engineer looked at him and shook his head.

"Technically it is fixed. I suited up and went back there for a look. Thankfully when the coupling blew it didn't do much damage to the reactor itself. I've jerry-rigged the coupling so it should be OK now. That's not the problem. The problem is to online the reactor we need a capacitor level of 95%. That's why you never offline a reactor unless you are docked at a station or doing it in a very controlled way such as next to a carrier. Our capacitor is 72% and dropping a percent every 50 minutes as life support drains it. In 60 hours, we're out of power."

Again the room fell silent. Each of the five crew members lost in their own thoughts. The captain craned his neck over to the far corner where a lone crewman was say cross legged on the floor using a datapad.

"Hey Chan. You going to contribute here or are you writing your own obituary on that thing?"

The Caldari man looked up and smiled.

"Well captain. I thought you lot had enough negative vibes for all of us. I thought I'd just sit here and come up with a way of saving all of our asses."

Chan sprang to his feet and walked over to the chart table. With a wave of his datapad he transferred what he was working on to the main chart table.

"OK" said the captain "What are we looking at?"

"Asteroid belt 4-1. You see that glowing dot there? It's a power source. Its faint, but its there."

"How the hell do you know that?" asked Hiroto.

"We still have our scan probes out. I was able to scan down that energy reading."

"Are you fracking insane!" roared Hiroto "We're running out of juice and your busy playing with the sensor array!"

The Captain shot Hiroto a look that instantly silenced him. He turned to Chan.

"So what is it?"

"I don't know" admitted Chan "But whilst it looks weak, I'm not sure thats right. I think its a large reactor of some kind."

"Go on" said the captain.

"Well the reading is faint, but the signal itself is distorted. I think there is a reactor is deep inside something. At a guess its inside one of them 'roids and the amount of rock surrounding it is causing the signal degradation we ses here."

"An outpost? Out here?" Natsumi the salvaging boom operator asked surprised. Like the rest of the crew she was Caldari. She was a tomboy and her slender body was hidden by baggy overalls. Her short hair was styled unisex. She could have looked stunning, but always looked boy-ish.

"Possibly." replied Chan. "Could be a hidden mining facility or lab. It could be a pirate base. Hell it could be an idling rogue drone battleship, you get them out here. I cannot tell you what it is exactly. Only that its the only thing in range that might save our asses."

"Or end them." replied the captain.

"Yes sir. But to be honest, we're all dead in about 62 hours. Do we sit here and get drunk or investigate the power source which might save us, or kill us?"

The room fell silent again. It was a few minutes before the captain spoke again.

"Well, this isn't a democracy, you all know that. But I ain't a man to decide your fates in these circumstances. In that asteroid belt there may be something that will allow us to restart the reactor and save us all. On the other hand we could be ripped apart by rouge drones, blown apart by pirates or mega corp security or find nothing, and have wasted 55 hours worth of energy on a wild goose chase. So two options. We warp head-first into the unknown and gamble everything, like we always do, or we sit here, get drunk and wait for death to come to us. Who is up for warping into the unknown for what might be the last time?"

All the crew members slowly raised their hands.

-o0o-

The Hope was in warp to the asteroid belt. The pilot and the captain were sat in the cockpit as the ship hurtled down the warp tunnel.

"Found anything in there?" the pilot asked.

The captain put his datapad down.

"Nothing. I've been through every database and chart I've got. Nothing references anything in this system that could be an outpost or base. They all say the same thing. Its an empty system containing lifeless planets and absolutely nothing of interest. The roids are poor quality, the moons have no worthwhile minerals. There is no reason for anyone to be here. Its a dead system. That's why we came, may be we could find something here that everyone else had missed."

The pilot made some minor course corrections. The two men sat in silence.

Throughout the ship the other crew members waited. Each imagined what they were flying into. Some held the hope that it was a small outpost with a welcoming crew who who would save them. Others imagined the worst case and a fleet of rogue drones descending on the ship and slowly tearing it apart.

The captains voice broke the silence through the comm system .

"We'll be dropping out of warp in less than 2 minutes. If any of you want to see first hand what kind of choice we made, you're welcome up here."

One by one the other four crew made their way through the ship. The Hope was an old frigate, much older than most of the ships operating these days. She had been a small cargo runner but had been stripped and refitted when Captain Takuma bought her. Tractor beams and salvaging modules had been fitted that could cut open derelict ships and remove valuable alloys, components and, when they got really lucky, cargo. A probe launcher had also been fitted so that the ship could scan down wrecks in deep space away from the normal space-lanes. That's where the real money was. Ships travelling off-grid tended to do so because they didn't want to be seen by the authorities due to their suspect cargo's They were also the ships most likely to be attacked by pirates and other criminals.

Slowly the crew assembled in the cockpit, standing behind the seated captain and pilot. The warp tunnel started to break apart as the ship slowed. The massive asteroid field suddenly came into view. Directly ahead they saw it. An outpost built into the biggest asteroid.

"Give me a wide tactical scan now." the captain ordered.

The pilot activated the scanner. Readings came up on the view screen.

"Nothing out there captain. No sentries, no defence fleet, no drones, no defence towers, nothing."

The pilot continued to work the scanner.

"No signs of life at the outpost either, although our scanners cannot penetrate far into the structure. Too much rock. No internal power showing either, the place looks dead."

"OK, take us in, nice and slowly. Keep broadcasting a hail on the comms, let them know we're friendly in case someone is watching."

The Hope slowly started approaching the station, manoeuvring around smaller asteroids and rock fragments. The station soon took up the entire cockpit window as they approached the hanger bay doors. The whispers between the crew stopped as the massive doors came into view. Three huge holes were visible, big enough to fly a cruiser through. It looked like they had punched in from the outside. The force of the impacts had buckled the outer doors.

"Riku can you get us in through one of them?" the captain asked.

"Sure thing captain. I don't know what made those holes, but I could get a Moa through them."

The captain spun his chair around.

"Chan. This place is looking less than promising. Its dead, and looks like its been that way for a long time. You sure about this?"

Chan stepped forward with his datapad and handed it to the captain.

"As you can see captain. Now we're closer we're getting better readings. There is a power-source active in there. Its buried deep, but its there and its active."

The small frigate slowly manoeuvred towards one of the massive holes in the hanger doors, passing through with room to spare. Suddenly there were gasps from the assembled crew. Inside the hanger the powerful salvaging lights from the frigate lit up the wrecks of a dozen destroyed starships. There was no evidence of weapons fire, it looked like they had been torn apart.

"Riku you seeing what I'm seeing?" asked the captain.

"I'm seein' but I ain't believing it. They look like old Albatross class transports. They ain't been in service in a hundred and fifty years!"

The crew craned their necks as the searchlights illuminated the massive hanger. The wrecked spaceships hung in the zero gravity, their backs broken and huge chunks of metal torn out of them. High above the hanger, the control room's windows had been blow out and the shards of glass hung menacingly in space, the light dancing off them as they slowly spun.

Riku slowly manoeuvred The Hope alongside a docking gantry. The powerful salvage claws grabbed the protruding deck and clamped on bringing the ship to a halt alongside the dock. He shut the engines down and the ship reverted to its emergency power state.

"12% on the capacitor captain. That's 10 hours before life support fails."

The captain nodded.

"OK everyone suit up. We're going for a walk!.

-o0o-

The six suited figures walked along the docking berth. Magnetic soles in their boots and small thrusters in their backpacks allowed them to walk normally in the zero gravity. The construction of the outpost was like none of them had every seen. It looked vaguely Caldari, but not like any of the outposts or stations any of them had been on. It was also lacking any of the State emblems that usually were always in view on Caldari installations.

"So...." the captains voices crackled through the comms system "Anyone like to make any guess where we are?"

"Well Captain. Given the Albatross Transports and the architecture of this place. I'd guess this is a Caldari outpost, constructed whilst they were still part of the Federation. It more than likely pre-dates the first Caldari-Gallente Great War." replied Sakuri.

She was the science officer on the Hope. Caldari by birth she had worked for a State Mega Corp before sleeping with the wrong Executive. She looked around the creepy hanger full of death and destruction. "Aren't you going to join us?" she whispered quietly to herself.

The six continued in silence until they reached the door at the end of the hanger. With the power down Chan had to use a portable power-pack to open it. The crew stood back in case there was any pressure behind the door. There wasn't, and the door slid back revealing an airless corridor that had a thick layer of dust coating all the surfaces.

"Emergency lighting has kicked on due to our movement, but its running on battery. No main power here." observed Chan.

The comms unit in the captains helmet bleeped as they continued up the corridor. His heads-up-display indicated Sakuri wanted to open a secure channel.

"Yes Sakuri, we're isolated from general comms, what is it?"

"Captain, I didn't want to alarm the others, but this corridor is hot. Some kind of radiation."

"How bad?" asked the Captain worriedly.

"It's OK. We'd need to be here a week to get any serious ill effects. A few hours of this won't even need meds, but I'd like to use them anyway when we get going, just in case."

"Understood." acknowledged the captain. The Hope always had a full stock of anti-radiation meds. Salvaging derelict spaceships often brought the crew into contact with radioactive environments so their medical bay was well stocked to cope.

Finally they reached a bank of lifts. The Captain looked at the list of floors.

"Well its Caldari all right, look at the text. We're on Deck 30, Command Centre is Deck 3. Engineering is Deck 50. Chan, Hiroto and Natsumi you head to 50 and see what the reactor is like. Sakuri and Riku you're with me, we'll check out the command centre. Stairwell is here people, hope you're all feeling fit!"

-o0o-

The three walked into the Command Centre after forcing the door open. Sakuri gasped at the sight. Mummified bodies were slumped at stations and on the floor.

"There is a bit of gravity here" the captain stated "We must be high enough that the natural spin of the 'roid is giving us a some."

The three walked around the large room inspecting the various stations wiping thick layers of dust from the computers. The Captain going straight for what must be the command chair.

"Chan, what have you guys got? Its long dead up here, and that applies equally to the computers and the crew we found." he radioed down to the other team as he removed an access panel from the side of the chair and started poking around in the circuits.

"Captain. You need to see this to believe it. Whatever punched through the hanger doors made it's way down here!"

"What do you mean made its way down there? It was the size of a cruiser! It hardly took the fracking lift!"

"No sir, it, well it burrowed down here. I'm shining a torch up a massive tunnel ripped through the decks. I'm pretty sure it goes all the way up to hanger. Reactor has been torn apart. Its totalled But that's been the case for a long time sir. This is not the energy signature we've been reading!"

There was a long pause.

"OK. All crew back to the Hope. I've salvaged the memory core from the command bridge. Lets find out what happened here and where that damn energy reading is coming from!"

-o0o-

Chan, Riku and Natsumi were the last ones back. They got into the galley on board The Hope to find wires snaking about the room with a vivid pink box in the middle. '3Dimensional Pleasure' was marked on the side.

"You can have it back once we're done. The captains memory core we salvaged is a holo-recorder. We need something to play it, and your mucky holo projector is the only thing we have that will work with this old legacy tech. So sit down and shaddap!" growled the Captain.

The crew assembled quietly in around the projector. Sakuri was hooking up the memory core via a small computer module to the holo box.

"OK Captain, I think we got it."

"Good. Play the last log entry."

The room went dark and the holo-projector lit up. Two 3D women appeared in a semi-naked embrace. The men in the room whooped and hollered. Riku held his head in is hands.

"Change the input" he groaned, embarrassed. Natsumi smiled at him and raised an eyebrow. He avoided her gaze.

The image of the two women vanished and was replaced by a Caldari man. His uniform was familiar to any Caldari who had studied history in school. He spoke in clear refined Caldari.

"Commanders log. Entry 1656. The station is lost. All crew are dead, or will be in a matter of hours. Our communications are down so my last hope is someone finds this recording and heeds my warning. Beware of the wormholes! At 09:05 hours this morning the science team visited the stable wormhole again and fired the test package through. A 10 gigaton fission warhead. Detonation was recorded and readings from our side of the wormhole collected to analyse later. They returned without incident. At 14:55 station time our long-range sensors identified three unknown objects. They simply appeared from nowhere. As they originated from the area where the wormhole is located, we assume that is where they came from. They immediately set on an intercept course to the outpost. There was no response to our hails. They dropped out of warp and advanced to the station. No life signs. We think they were some form of robot. A construct or craft controlled by an artificial intelligence They breached the hanger doors as if they were made of wood. Two began tearing through the ships in the hangers, they ripped the reactor out of a ship and moved to the next within a minute. The third ripped through our super-structure towards the main outpost reactor. It just tore through the decks like they weren't there. We lost hundreds in the de-pressurisation of the hanger and then the subsequent breaches as that..... thing..... burst through each deck in turn. By the time we realised where it was going it was too late. I ordered the reactor to be shut down but the sequence hadn't finalised as the intruder ruptured the containment field. Thankfully the reactor shut-down sequence had run sufficiently so it didn't go critical. But a massive pulse of hard-radiation was released. Everyone in decks 50 to 35 were killed instantly. Their flesh simply dissolved 35 to 10 received a massively fatal dose and were dead within minutes. Those of us in the top 10 decks, we've got hours, may be a day. We'll live the longest, but it won't be pleasant The doctor has made pills available to anyone who doesn't want to go through that. It is of little recompense but it appears the radiation pulse was as fatal to the intruders as it was.... will be... to us. The one in the reactor room was vaporised. The two in the hanger simply stopped functioning and dropped to the floor. Listen to me carefully. They came from the wormholes. We must not encroach into their realm again. If you find us, please let the record show my crew acted with bravery and honour Please ensure our remains are returned to our families. As well as the main station, there were several hundred working in the 'old' station when the radiation hit. The original mining colony that was based deep inside the asteroid. Our diagnostics that are still operational show the old reactor is still active and their life-support is functioning. However, the doctor informs me that even with the rock protecting them, the radiation dose will have been fatal, although it might take them longer to die from the effects. On the other hand they may be already dead, we just don't know. There is no way to reach them with the majority of the outpost now a vacuum. To be truthful, I don't know which of us has it better. What is a few extra days when there will be only pain and suffering?"

The room went silent. Sakuri went back to the console and entered new commands. There were murmurs as the now frozen image of the commander was replaced by a three dimensional schematic of the station layout. There was indeed a warren of tunnels and caverns deep inside the asteroid.

"Well ladies and gentlemen. We move out in 30 minutes. We're going to pay that old reactor a visit."

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Tuesday night was terrible for Caldari Militia (Squids) targets. It was getting rather frustrating seeing system after system of blues. In the end I had to resort to laying a trap for a farmer just to be able to kill one. It wasn't a Wile E Coyote quality trap, but it was a trap none the less.

I found a farmer in Notoras and I was in a Cockbag Thrasher. I left system and set up on the out-gate (btw this isn't the trap, that would be too simple) and then asked if any corpie was free to flush him out. CPT CID said he'd do it, and took a destroyer to the medium complex. The Incursus flying squid warped away to the iHub. He went to another plex and CID chased him out of that one. He warped to the iHub again before opening a Novice Compound that destroyers cannot get in. He was spouting in local that CID is "wasting his time" and he'll not catch him and he should leave him alone etc. Hang on guys, I've got an idea!

I jumped Drackarn into the system and parked him somewhere. I then logged on my old militia alt on another account. This guy was my 'speed tanking alt'. Back in the day when I was a Goody-Two-Shoes +5.0, I used to take part in speed-tanking incursions into squid hi-sec. We'd get together 10 alts that were in the militia with us in ships that could do 4300m/s cap stable. We'd jump them into system and then set them off at full speed. The Faction Navy NPC would spawn and chase, but couldn't catch them. So once that had been done the 11th and subsequent pilots to jump in were free of NPC agro and could roam about freely to kill unsuspecting wartargets. We used to have some good fun especially in Amarr!

Anyway this alt is still in an Alpha clone (less than 900k skill points) and the only skills he has are navigation and for capacitor and propulsion fitting mods/rigs. I stick him in an unfitted Rifter and jump him into Notoras. Then I warp him to the plex. This could go brilliantly..... or fail.

The alt enters the plex in his unfit Rifter and there is the Incursus. He's 20km off so I lock him up and burn towards him. I say burn.... the Rifter has no prop mod... so really I sort of amble towards him.

This is the time the target should smell something fishy!

"AH! A war target Rifter. He's locked me! Mmmmm he hasn't pointed me though. Must be scram fit. But look at his speed! It's almost as if he hasn't got a prop mod fitted! Why would a ship with a scram not have a prop mod? Should I look carefully at his ship? Ooooo look. He's got no guns on that. It's a bluff! I can kill this Rifter and laugh at them!"

But it didn't happen like that. He simply ran away.

Now dear readers, the hundred million ISK question is this. Where did he warp to? Are you thinking of a location? Is it the iHub? Congratulations, +1 interwebz to you. Yes, he had decided why break with tradition? Warping to the iHub EVERY SINGLE TIME has worked so well in the past. Why not do it again.

And the second bonus question for you. What range did he warp at? We have such a nice selection in that dropdown menu. You can go to 0. You can go to 30, Hell, you can go to the ever popular 100! You know, mix it up a bit, keep people guessing. Have you guessed which distance he chose? That's right. He warped to 0.

Now, you may remember before I unleashed my 900k skill point alt of terror that I said I had parked Drackarn in the system. Last question for you. Where do you think I parked my Cockbag Thrasher? Yes, that's right..... at the iHUB.

The Incursus died in a hail of Republic Fleet Fusion and as the ship assploded, so did the "You're wasting your time" comments.

OK, not the most epic trap ever in the history of Eve, but I enjoyed it!

Monday, May 13, 2013

Saturday I was on and off Eve most of the day. In-between other things I was solo roaming trying to find someone to shoot, which was harder than usual. The Caldari Militia (squids) were in short supply. I suppose this gives more credibility to the rumours that some in the Caldari Militia are paying 8bn ISK to a Merc corp to attack at least one Gallente Militia alliance. Anyway, here are the fights I had on Saturday.

Thrasher vs CoraxI was sat in a small plex trying to tempted some squids to come in and kick me out. I was set up at optimal on the warp in with my guns pre-overheated. After a while a Corax thought he'd give it a go. As I was in an artillery Thrasher and he was rocket fit I was able to deal some pain as he tried to close range. His MWD lighting him up like a Christmas tree.

Thrasher vs IncursusAgain I was in a plex when I got an Incursus on short scan. A Tuskers pilot entered the plex but I'd already swapped to RF Fusion as soon as I got him on scan. KM shows another guy on the mail, but if you look at what was in the Incursus' cargo hold you can guess what happened to Mr Tracking Disrupter!

Thrasher vs BantamI was bouncing around Kedama when I landed on a acceleration gate to find a squid Bantam just landing. Kaboom! Alpha'd him in one shot. He was completely unfit which begs the question what was he going to do inside the plex against the rat?

Incursus vs IncursusInitially I went after this guy in my Thrasher but he ran. TBH who would blame him? Luckily it was in a system where I keep a small hanger of ships. I happened to have an Incursus there myself. So I jumped into that and went back. Nice 1v1.

Kestrel Vs Caldari Navy HookbillThis was a big gamble. Could my little Kestrel take a Hookbill who was already set up in a plex? LEEROY JENKINS! I dropped from warp, pre-overheated by launchers and went to work. The Hookbill didn't fire back, 3 volleys later he woke up. I had a head start. But he was faster and was able to get out of point range and warp off in structure. So close to a great kill!

Thrasher vs MerlinI reshipped back into my Thrasher and headed down the pipe where I ran into a Merlin. Pop!

Thrasher/Hurricane + Maller/Ferox vs Thrasher + Thorax + Vengence + RetributionI was in the home station when I saw a few squids spike local. I undocked in the Thrasher expecting to find some frigates plexing. As I was D-scanning each plex trying to find them, they landed off station. A destroyer, cruiser and two assault ships. They immediately engaged and I docked up. I asked in Corp if anyone was active whilst browsing my hanger to see what I could use. Davlos undocked a Maller as I undocked a Hurricane. Unfortunately the squids were kitey and moved far too fast for my fat ass Cane. A quick U-turn caught the Thrasher, but I was not going to catch the others who had burnt off. They were plinking me from range so I deagressed and redocked in very low armour. I repaired, swapped my EC drones for DPS and undocked. In that time Davlos had swapped to a Ferox and got the Thorax into structure but it had got out of range. It's armour repper saving its green ass. With them pre-occupied with the Ferox, the Vengeance hadn't noticed I'd got close enough to double-web him. He went down leaving the flaming Thorax and the Retribution. They decided to 'call it a draw' and left system.

So seven kills and one draw for no losses. The number of war targets about was disappointing for a Saturday. On Sunday it didn't get much better pickings.

Some Ships vs Some ShipsI found a few squids in a plex. As I was solo and in a Kestrel I called in back up. We had two Kestrels and a Condor verses a Bantam, Tristan and Venture with a Rote Kapelle Taranis whoring on everything. As I went in first I got primaried and died, but I got on the Venture kill. The Bantam also went down as did our Condor. Draw

Thrasher vs Merlin + Corax..... which became QCats Thrasher Whores vs CoraxI was in a plex when a Merlin and a Corax started poking about. I got the Merlin, Bang! But his mate in a Corax ran. I chased the Corax about a bit, whilst getting some more of the QCats in system. I caught him and got him kited. I shut off the guns to share the love as some corpies turned up.

Thrasher vs PunisherTwo squid Punishers had the gall to plex in Nisuwa! We chased them about but they kept bouncing. I warped to the iHub and sat there. After a minute one landed. Dat fit????

Thrasher vs Imperial Navy SlicerI warped to a small plex where I had a IN Slicer and an Incursus on scan. As I landed on gate a neutral Rifter landed and entered the plex. I stopped. Three on one might be a tad too far. I kept spanning scan to see if one left. The Rifter suddenly turned into a capsule so I activated gate hoping to get the two frigates whilst they were still recovering. I landed to find a corpie in the Incursus and a very fast squid IN Slicer. The squid was too fast so I left them to it. After bouncing around the system for a few minutes I came back to the small plex to find an IN Slicer and Incursus still on short scan. I entered only to find it wasn't my Corpie in the Incursus but a squid! I was shocked, he was shocked and was able to warp leaving me alone with the Slicer who engaged. His kiting was too much for me and my shields were dropping fast. I stopped the guns and spent 10 seconds swapping from RF Fusion to RF Titanium Sabot. Now my armour was dropping fast. However the 20% increased tracking from the new ammo and the increased 20km optimal meant I was not plinking away at the Slicer but hitting him properly. By overheating the AB I forced him to approach by breaking his orbit distance. He popped as I was in 35% structure!

Thrasher vs HarpyI was heading back in my smoking ship to duct-tape it back together when I saw in Corp Chat that there was a Harpy plexing next door to our home system. I docked, repaired and undocked before warping to the gate. The guy who had reported the Harpy went after him in a cruiser so I sat on the gate to provide backup if needed. The Harpy warped to a small plex which the cruiser couldn't enter. So I jumped in and went for him. He was off the warp in when I arrived inside the plex and he warped back to the medium. I gave chase and pretty much landed on top of him. This time he engaged. However I was able to make range and hold him at 12km where his blasters couldn't do any harm.

Thrasher Vs ThrasherI saw a Thrasher plexing in our home systems. A quick look up on the KB showed they liked shield/AC fit. So I went for armour/AC and went to the plex. They engaged and fired RF EMP repeatedly at my armour tank. Pop!

Caracal vs SlasherI was actually after a Hawk but he got away. The Slasher engaged.... and died.

So over the weekend I had fights whilst I was flying a Kestrel, an Incursus, the different Thrasher fits, a Hurricane and a Caracal.

Friday, May 10, 2013

This is post two of two for todays special "double header". My usual Fan Fiction Friday entry is posted below this one!

On Wednesday night CCP uploaded a raft of Odyssey changes onto the test server. These are listed below from the Eve-O forum thread. Those tagged with ** are ones I looked at and have blogged about below.

Team Game of Drones - Pirate Rookie Frigates**, Skill Changes to every ship in the game**, If you could fly it before you can fly it now**, Destroyers and Battlecruiser skills were split into 4 racial variants. Users can expect to be in ships for which they do not have all prerequisite skills**, Skill reimbursement will apply in certain specific scenarios**, New Navy Battlecruisers**, Tier 3 Battlecruisers rebalanced (now Attack Battlecruisers), Cruise Missile Changes**, Large Energy Turret Changes, Tier 1 Battleship rebalance

Sensor Overlay
Awesome! Just awesome! As you undock or jump the sensor sweep is conducted in a visual form. Think of it like a 3D radar sweep that visually sweeps around a bubble several hundred kilometres from your ship. Ah feck it, too difficult to describe, here are 4 screenshots in rapid succession to show it!

Warpable objects like faction war plex show up green crosses and scannable objects as yellow. You can still click the scanner button, but now you have a choice of four options on a radial menu.

Top options turns the in-space visuals on or off. The other three buttons are simply the old direction scanner, system scanner and moon survey which used to be one window with tabs. Nice and easy now.

You can mouse-over signatures in space and it gives you further options as well as scan strength if its not warpable

Tags for Sec
Obviously you'll need to collect several of these to be useful. I fitted a Navy Hurricane, more on them in a bit, and undocked and warped to the top belt in my home system. Guess what I found!

Yup first belt and we have one of the new rats in a Gila-ish ship. My Hurricane kerbstomped him as expected and I got the tag.

I then did all connecting systems and found only plain rats. Next day I searched seven low-sec systems and couldn't find any. They are fairly rare currently. I guess I got lucky in my first undock! That means these tags are going to be very expensive unless CCP up the spawn rate.

Edit - However, whilst testing the Navy BC's below I found another one..... in my home system..... in the top belt again! May be CCP set them to only spawn in the top belt. How awesome would that be? Want tags? You need to sit in top belt lol!

Pirate Rookie Ships
Yes they are here. Yes they are rookie ships. No I'm not really interested in them! They look OK though.

Skill Changes and New Skills
Gone are the Destroyer and Battlecruiser skills. The new racial varients are added and I'm jumped a few million skill points and have the new skills! MOAR LVL V L33TN355!

I could fly all destroyers and battlecruisers before, I still can. CCP did what they said on the tin here! But wait, what about the skill changes to other ships like Command Ships.

The Nighthawk now needs level 5 on the link skills which I don't have. My link skills are all 4's! But I could fly a Nighthawk pre-Odyssey.....

.... and I still can even though I don't meet the revised prerequisites!

New Navy BC's
Lovely! We have the old Hurricane back with a new camouflage paint job. But seriously, why have jungle camo in space? Anyway, I'm just happy to have the old pre-nerf Cane back.

Quick play with them (I didn't spend long thinking on fits, I just threw together simple PvP fits) and I found...

Cruise Missiles
Cruise missiles have always been a PvE weapon with no place in PvP. Slow and easy to avoid very few serious PvP players ever used them. But now? Fast with a massive range and tweaked stats. May be we'll see a new breed of sniper BS? Who knows? 800DPS for a sniper?

System Transitions
For Sci-Fi geeks, this is p0rn! You're ship vanishes into the wormhole as before. Now the screen swings to look down the stargate (V3'd with distortion effects now) as it powers up. Lightning jumps from the gate and it fires you into a warp tunnel with more lighning effects before spitting you out at your destination system. AWESOME! NERD BONER!!!!

About Me

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