Trailer Park King

Indie games tend to leach onto current fads. For example, Minecraft has about a dozen knockoffs of varying quality (somewhere between cow shit and pig shit) on the market as we speak. It’s in that spirit that Freelance Games has looked at the popularity of white trash like Lindsay Lohan, Megan Fox, and Sarah Palin to give us Trailer Park King, a point-and-click adventure.

In it you play as King, the titular King of the Trailer Park who gets framed for the murder of his girlfriend’s brother. You’re given a list of ten suspects to check off and have to provide them with various trinkets to get them to give themselves or others alibis.

There’s really not a whole lot of searching to do in Trailer Park King. In fact I encountered almost no useless clickables. Everything that can be interacted with is used, except for a TV that asked me if I wanted to watch porn but failed to come through on that. There is an annoying bit where you have to access a sheep hired by an escort service (don’t ask) to leave the trailer park and visit the nearby jail. It seemed like busy work for the sake of making a joke.

Otherwise the presentation works. The game has well done art and full voice acting. The accents are way over the top, including the worst French-Canadian one I’ve ever heard, but that kind of adds to the camp value of it. The script is okay. It’s not anything special but you’re bound to have a few laughs. Most of the time you’ll just be shaking your head and saying “well that was fucked up.” I also really didn’t care for the solution to the mystery. It does end on a bit of a cliffhanger but it happens so fast that I’m not exactly sure what happened.

I still can’t stand this genre of gaming, but Trailer Park King only takes about an hour to complete and thus doesn’t give you enough time to get bored. The dialog is just funny enough to make you want to push through to the ending, although I can’t imagine anyone would be satisfied with the murderer’s identity. Still, it’s always fun to take pot shots at easy targets, like those trashy losers who smoke cigarettes, watch alien abduction shows, and get turned on by guys who get high scores at video games.

80 Microsoft Points thought “Holy Basket of Crap” sounded like something from Dairy Queen’s menu in the making of this review.

UPDATED, SPOILERIC HALF-ASSED FAQ FOR TRAILER PARK KING
By popular request from you drool-dispensing half-wits who can’t figure out anything for yourselves, here’s some answers for commonly asked questions about Trailer Park King. Considering this game is so easy it’s under consideration to be released under the Nick Jr. brand name, you should be hanging your head in fucking shame for needing these. In no particular order…

-NO You can’t actually watch porn.

-You get most of the items from clicking them in the convenience store owned by the French Canadian chick.

-No, you can’t see anyone naked.

-You get the deed to the truck inside Truck’s truck. You get there by having the sheep escort you to the jail. Once there, press B to exit and choose “exit to parking lot” off the menu. Search the seat to get the deed. You can also bend over so that I can wipe your ass for you, you lazy bastards.

-Once you have the deed, take it to the cop and she’ll sign it over to your girlfriend. At this point, congratulations, you’ve beaten the game. Or rather I just beat the game for you.

-No, you can’t go to the shopping mart, or any of the other buildings you see through the telescope except the jail.