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Maybe you’re one of them. Maybe, even as I sit here typing this, you are seething with rage. “18 hours and it ends with Cooper trapped in yet another fucked up situation, with Laura Palmer still screaming!? What the Hell!?”

Well, my advice would be to calm down. Did Twin Peaks: The Return ends on a conventional note? No. Has anything about Twin Peaks: The Return been conventional? Hell no. This is a David Lynch production, after all. And Lynch has never shown an interest in tidy endings. In fact, if anything, Lynch has never shown much of an interest in endings. Blue Velvet concluded with a fake bird. Lost Highway ended with Bill Pullman appearing to transform yet again. Even Mulholland Drive ended with that evil creature still living behind Winkie’s.

As far as I’m concerned, Twin Peaks: The Return provided 18 of the most intriguing hours in television history. Am I little bit frustrated that it didn’t end on a definite note of conclusion? Sure. (With 15 minutes left in Part 18, I found myself saying, “Uhmmm … what about Audrey?”) But I’ll tell you right, I’m going to have a lot of fun debating what it all meant. Art is not about easy solutions.

(For the record, next weekend, I’m going to binge watch all 18 hours and then maybe I’ll post my conclusions.)

It could be argued that this should not be called a conclusion. As Ryan pointed out in this week’s peaks, the story continues. There may or may not be another season on Showtime. There may or may not be another Twin Peaks movie. Hell, Mark Frost may or may not write another Twin Peaks book. And, if none of that happens, the story will continue in our imaginations.

I went back and forth on whether or not to review both Parts 17 and 18 together or separately. In the end, I decided to review them separately because I consider Part 17 to be the conclusion on the third season of Twin Peaks while Part 18 feels like it’s laying the groundwork for a fourth season.

Let’s get to it!

Things open in South Dakota, with Gordon Cole (David Lynch) lamenting to Albert (Miguel Ferrer) and Tammy (Chrysta Bell) that he couldn’t bring himself to shoot Diane. After Albert says that Cole is going soft, Cole replies, “Not where it counts, buddy.” That line made me laugh, despite myself. Lynch just has such a sincere way of delivering his lines.

Cole goes on to explain that, before his death, Major Briggs shared, with him and Cooper, his discovery of an extremely evil and negative force that, “in olden times,” was known as Jowday. Jowday eventually got shortened to Judy. Briggs, Cooper, and Cole put together a plan that could lead them to Judy. Apparently, before his disappearance, Philip Jeffries said that he was on the verge of discovering Judy. Cole theorizes that the Doppelganger is looking for Judy.

Suddenly, the phone rings. It’s Agent Headley (Jay R. Ferguson), calling from Las Vegas, to announce that they’ve found Dougie Jones but that Dougie disappeared again. Mullins (Don Murray) asks to speak to Cole and gives him a message from Cooper. Cooper is on his way to Twin Peaks, to see Sheriff Truman!

In the Twin Peaks Sheriff’s Department, the lock-up is still nosiy. The drunk (Jay Aaseng) and Deputy Chad (John Pirruccello) take turns taunting each other. Eyeless Naido (Nae Yuuki) continues to whimper. Freddie (Jake Wardle) and James (James Marshall) listen.

At the Great Northern, Ben (Richard Beymer) gets a call. Jerry’s turned up in Wyoming, apparently convinced that he can kill people with his binoculars. It might be time to say, “No more drugs for that man,” as far as Jerry is concerned.

The next morning, the Doppelganger (Kyle MacLachlan) wanders through the woods outside of Twin Peaks. The vortex opens above him. The Doppelganger vanishes.

In the building above the purple sea, the disembodied head of Major Briggs (Don S. Davis) floats between two pictures, one of the woods and one of the Palmer House. The Fireman (Carel Struycken) waves his hand. In the background, we hear the electrical hum that been haunting the Great Northern.

The Doppelganger materializes outside of the Twin Peaks sheriff’s station. As he walks towards it, he is seen by Deputy Andy (Harry Goaz). At first, I was worried that the Doppelganger was going to kill Deputy Andy but instead, he greets him with a cold, “Hello, Andy.”

Andy leads the Doppelganger into the station, where they meet Lucy (Kimmy Robertson) and Sheriff Truman (Robert Forster). When the Doppelganger turns down a cup of coffee, everyone knows something strange is happening. Then, Andy starts to have visions of him and Lucy standing in the lobby, looking at something.

Meanwhile, in the holding area, it turns out that Chad has got a key hidden in his shoe. He gets out of his cell and heads for the weapons locker. When Andy shows up, looking for Hawk, Chad comes at him with a raised gun. But fear not! Freddie Sykes uses his green glove of power to throw open the door his cell, smashing Chad in the face and knocking him out.

Meanwhile, Lucy informs Truman that he has a phone call and he really needs to take it. Reluctantly, Truman takes the call and finds himself talking to … DALE COOPER! Dale and the Mitchums have just entered the Twin Peaks city limits and are on their way to the station!

The Doppelganger, realizing what is happening, reaches inside his jacket for a gun when suddenly — bang! The Doppelganger crashes to the floor. Standing behind him, holding a gun, is Lucy!

(Making this scene especially satisfying is that, during the second season Twin Peaks, Lucy was exclusively given comedic subplots that had nothing to do with the main storyline. 25 years, she finally gets to save the day.)

Way to go, Lucy!

Cooper tells Truman to make sure that no one touches the Doppelganger’s body until he arrives. Andy steps into the office with Hawk, Naido, James, and Freddie. Suddenly, just as in Part 8, the woodsmen appear and start working on the Doppelganger’s body. While that happens, Cooper and the Mitchums show up. And then Cole, Albert, and Tammy show up. It’s getting crowded in that office!

Suddenly, the spirit of Killer BOB (represented by an orb that contains stock footage of Frank Silva) emerges from the Doppelganger’s body and lunges at Freddie. Despite getting bloodied in the process, Freddie is able to use his green glove of power to smash BOB’s face into a thousand pieces. Yay Freddie!

Cooper puts the ring on the Doppelganger’s finger. The Doppelganger vanishes. Yay Cooper!

Cooper gets the key to his former hotel room from Sheriff Truman. “Major Briggs told me Sheriff Truman would have it,” Cooper explains. (Yay Major Briggs!)

Now, what happens next is interesting. A lot of positive things happen. Bobby Briggs (Dana Asbrook) comes in the office and Cooper tells him that he and Major Briggs are proud of him. Blind Naido is revealed to actually be the real Diane, in disguise. (And yes, the real Diane still has eyes.) Cole and Albert are reunited with their friend. And yet, through the whole scene, we see the face of another Cooper, this one with a blank expression, superimposed over the action.

This was when I started to suspect that the finale might turn out to be a bit controversial. Are we seeing reality or are we watching a dream, a memory, or a wish? Not even the presence of the Mitchum girls in pink, passing out finger sandwiches, can change the ominous tone of all this otherwise positive scene.

Cooper glances at the clock in Truman’s office and sees that the minute hand seems to be stuck.

A distorted voice says, “We live inside a dream.”

Oh shit, I thought as I watched this scene, we’ve got 30 minutes left and things are about to get so seriously fucked up…

Suddenly, Cooper, Diane, and Cole are slowly walking down a dark hallway. I believe they’re in the Great Northern because, when they reach a door, Cooper uses his old hotel room key to open it. He tells Cole and Diane to wait behind and then he enters the room. “See you at the curtain call,” Cooper says.

Inside the room is MIKE (Al Strobel) who recites the Fire Walk With Me poem. MIKE leads Cooper up a staircase and into the room the holds the metal device the contains the spirit of Philip Jeffries. Cooper asks to be sent back to February 23rd, 1989, the night of the death of Laura Palmer.

“Cooper,” Jeffries says, “remember…”

“ELECTRICITY!” MIKE exclaims.

Suddenly, Cooper’s back in 1989. He’s watching Laura (Sheryl Lee) sneak out of her house and jump on the back of James Hurley’s motorcycle while a jealous Leland (Ray Wise) watches from his window. Cooper watches them in the woods, listening as Laura tells James that Bobby killed a man. (This is true. Before he became everyone’s favorite lawman, Bobby shot a Canadian drug runner in Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me. I always wondered if that would be acknowledged.)

Cooper watches the familiar scene play out but, when Laura jumps off of James’s motorcycle, Cooper steps forward and changes history. Instead of allowing Laura to walk off to be murdered, Cooper tells her that he is taking her home. “I saw you in my dreams,” Laura says.

The next morning, we see another familiar sight: Laura’s body on the shore, wrapped in plastic. The body disappears. In archived footage from the original Twin Peaks pilot, we watch as Pete Martell (Jack Nance) says good morning to Catherine (Piper Laurie) and then heads out to fish. Except, this time, there’s no body to distract him. Instead of calling the police and reporting a murder, Pete goes fishing.

(It’s a sweet image and it was nice to see that, despite having been dead for 21 years, Jack Nance, who starred in Eraserhead and was the former husband of Catherine “Log Lady” Coulson, still appeared in the revival. Part 17 was dedicated to his memory.)

Where is Laura? Despite not being dead, she’s not in her house. However, Sarah Palmer (Grace Zabriskie) is. Sarah is smashing the famous picture of Laura as homecoming queen into little pieces. Disturbingly, this would seem to indicate that, at the time that Laura was being abused and eventually murdered by her father, Sarah was not a bystander but was instead possessed by the same evil that possessed Leland.

Cooper leads Laura through the woods. Suddenly, Laura screams and is gone.

Standing in front the red curtains of the Black Lodge, Julee Cruise sings.

End credits.

On to Part 18, which I am about to rewatch after which I will write up a review. It might be a few hours. Until then, why not check out some of the other 81 Twin Peaks-related posts that we’ve published this year at the Shattered Lens!

If you needed to sum up the latest episode of Twin Peaks: The Return in just two words, those would be the words to use. After spending 15 hours with just the Doppelganger and Dougie, it is so wonderful to finally have Dale Cooper back.

Tonight’s episode of Twin Peaks was the best since Part 8. In fact, I would rate Part 16 even higher than Part 8 because Part 16 shows that David Lynch is more than just a surrealist. He’s also a filmmaker with a heart. If you didn’t get emotional when Dale said, “I am the FBI,” then you have no feelings, it’s as simple as that. You’re a zombie or maybe you’re a doppelgänger yourself. As we learned tonight, there’s more of them out there than just evil old Mr. C.

Part 16 opens with the Doppelganger (Kyle MacLachlan) and Richard (Eamon Farren) driving at night. The Doppelganger pulls off to the side of a country road. He turns on his truck’s spotlights and shines them on a nearby rock. The Doppelganger and Richard get out of the truck. Richard asks why they’ve stopped. “Pay attention,” the Doppelganger replies, “and you’ll find out.”

The Doppelganger goes on to explain that he’s looking for “a place.” Three people have given him coordinates to the place. Two of the coordinates match. The Doppelganger says that the rock matches up with those two coordinates. The Doppelganger sends Richard to investigate the rock and, in a quite satisfying turn of events, Richard is electrocuted and violently killed. Bye bye, you douchebag.

“Goodbye, my son,” the Doppelganger says, confirming what we all suspected about Richard’s parentage.

Meanwhile, on a nearby hill, a stoned Jerry Horne (David Patrick Kelly) watches all of this play out. (Perhaps it’s because he was too far away or because he was too high but Jerry didn’t seem to notice that the man being electrocuted was his grandnephew.)

In Las Vegas, Chantal (Jennifer Jason Leigh) and Hutch (Tim Roth) are in a van, staking out Dougie’s house and waiting for a chance to assassinate him. As they watch, the FBI pulls up outside of the house. When Special Agent Headley (Jay R. Ferguson) knocks on the front door, no one answers. Needless to say, he’s not happy about that. As usual, he yells at Wilson (Owain Rhy-Davies). Poor Wilson.

The reason no one is home is because Dougie (Kyle MacLachlan) electrocuted himself during Part 15 and he’s now in a coma. Bushnell (Don Murray), Janey-E (Naomi Watts) and Sonny Jim (Pierce Gagnon) are all in his hospital room, looking over him. The Mitchum brothers (Jim Belushi and Robert Knepper) drop by, delivering flowers and finger sandwiches. They also announce that they’re going to go to Dougie’s house and drop off some food so that Janey-E doesn’t have to worry about cooking.

Meanwhile, Bushnell gets a call from the office, telling him that the FBI just came by and that they’re now heading to the hospital to see Dougie.

In front of Dougie’s house, Chantal and Hutch are still hiding out in the van and waiting for Dougie to show up. “It’s going to be a long day,” Hutch says. (Leigh and Roth make such an entertaining couple that you almost feel bad that they’re playing psychotic murderers.) They watch confused as the Mitchum Brothers and their entourage pull up to the house and drop off several trays of finger sandwiches.

Suddenly, a man pulls up behind the van. He’s driving a car that has “Zawaski Accounting” on the side of it. However, this guy doesn’t seem like your typical accountant. For one thing, he’s extremely angry about Chantal and Hutch parking in front of his driveway.

“GO FUCK YOURSELF!” Chantal yells.

The accountant gets back into his car and starts to ram the van. This really pisses off Chantal so she shoots the guy. However, the accountant has a gun of his own and shoots back. This leads to a violent shooutout, one that leaves Chantal and Hutch dead. The accountant surrenders to Agent Wilson, who was also staking out Dougie’s house.

Back at the hospital, Dougie suddenly wakes up. He sits up and he sees MIKE (Al Strobel) staring at him.

“You are awake?” MIKE asks.

“One hundred per cent,” Dougie replies in a confident and authoritative voice…

OH MY GOD, COOPER’S BACK!

“Finally,” MIKE says. MIKE goes on to explain that the Doppelganger is still out there. He hands Cooper the owl ring.

Cooper gives MIKE a strand of his hair and says, “I need you to make another one!” (I assume Cooper is telling MIKE to make another doppelganger.)

“I understand,” MIKE says before vanishing.

It quickly becomes apparent that Cooper really is 100% back. He is no longer blank-faced. He is no longer blandly repeating the last two words that he heard. Instead, he is back to being the talkative Cooper that we all know and love. After getting the doctor to “verify that my vitals are A-okay,” Cooper tells Bushnell that he’s a good man and tells Janey-E and Sonny Jim to go to the car.

(“Dad sure is talking a lot,” Sonny Jim says.)

Before leaving, Cooper is told that the FBI is looking for him. Cooper smiles and delivers the line of the episode: “I am the FBI.”

(Cooper also borrows Bushnell’s gun and calls the Mitchum Brothers, telling them that he’s going to need plane to Spokane, Washington.)

As Cooper, Janey-E, and Sonny Jim drive away from the hospital, the classic Twin Peaks theme music swells on the soundtrack, letting us know in no uncertain terms that Cooper is back and things are going to be okay.

In South Dakota, Diane (Laura Dern) gets a text from The Doppelganger. “: – ) All” As a distorted remix of Muddy Magnolias’s American Woman plays on the soundtrack, Diane takes the elevator up to Gordon’s room, where Gordon (David Lynch), Tammy (Chrysta Bell), and Albert (Miguel Ferrer) are all waiting for her.

In a scene featuring some of the most brilliant work of Laura Dern’s career, Diane tells them about the last night that she saw the Doppelganger. She reveals what the show had already heavily implied, that the last time she saw the Doppelganger, he raped her. Afterward, he took her to “some place like an old gas station.”

Suddenly, Diane says, “I’m in the sheriff’s station. I sent him those coordinates. I’m in the sheriff’s station because I’m … it’s not me.”

Diane pulls a gun from her purse, just to get shot by Tammy and Albert. Diane immediately vanishes.

“Wow,” Tammy says.

Suddenly, we’re in the waiting room of the Black Lodge. Diane sits in a chair. MIKE is across from her. MIKE tells her that she’s not real, that she was manufactured. “I know. Fuck you,” Diane says before her face disappears in a puff of black smoke.

At the casino, the Mitchum Brothers greet Cooper, Janey-E, and Sonny Jim. Cooper tells Janey-E and Sonny Jim that he loves them but that he has to go away. However, he promises that he will return. Even though Cooper is no longer Dougie, he still loves both of them. “We’re a family,” he says, “Dougie — I mean, I will be back.” Cooper reassures Sonny Jim that he is his dad, whether he’s Dougie or not. “I have to go but I’ll see you soon,” Cooper says, “I’ll walk through that red door and I’ll be home for good.”

Cooper leaves with the Mitchum Brothers. As they drive to the airport, the Mitchums ask Cooper if he really works for the FBI. Cooper says that he does. The Mitchums explain that they typically don’t get along with law enforcement. In a classic Cooper moment, Dale says, “I read you 100%. Friends, that’s about to change. I am a witness that you both have hearts of gold.” The Mitchums are touched.

At the Roadhouse, the MC (JR Starr) announces that the Roadhouse is proud to present Edward Louis Severson (Eddie Vedder, whose real name is Edward Louis Severson). As Vedder sings Out of Sand (which, no offense to you Eddie Vedder fans out there, is perhaps the most boring song ever to be performed at the Roadhouse), Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn) and Charlie (Clark Middleton) finally show up. They get a drink at the bar. Audrey raises a toast to Billy.

Suddenly, the MC announces: “And now … Audrey’s Dance!”

Everyone on the dance floor moves to the side, retreating to the shadows. The house band starts to play Audrey’s theme music from the original series. Audrey appears to go into a trance and she starts to do the same dance that, 25 years previously, she did at the Double R while everyone else in town was wondering who had killed Laura Palmer.

Suddenly, a fight breaks out in the Roadhouse. Two men are fighting over a woman named Monique. Audrey snaps out of her trance and runs off the dance floor. She goes to Charlie. “Get me out of here!” she says.

Suddenly, Audrey is in a white room, staring at herself in a mirror. “What!? What!?” she says as the mirror shakes…

And, for now, that’s where we leave things.

Oh my God, what a wonderful episode! Twin Peaks: The Return concludes next week. As much as I want to see where Lynch’s journey is going to lead, I am going to miss this show and its mysteries. After Twin Peaks: The Return ends, it’s going to be hard to just watching mere television.

There are only five hours left in Twin Peaks: The Return and yet, there are still many mysteries to be resolved. Considering that this is a David Lynch production, it’s entirely possible and probably rather probable that a good deal of those mysteries will never be resolved.

That said, all of the disparate elements of Twin Peaks: The Return have slowly been coming together, providing evidence — if any was needed — that Lynch knows exactly what he’s doing. In some ways, tonight’s episode was Twin Peaks at its most straightforward. And yet, nothing can ever be totally straight forward when it comes to Twin Peaks.

We wouldn’t want it any other way.

Tonight’s episode begins with joyful music playing in Las Vegas. As Anthony Sinclair (Tom Sizemore) watches from his office, the Mitchum Brothers (James Belushi and Robert Knepper) dance down the hallways. The three ladies in pink are with them. And so is … Dougie Jones (Kyle MacLachlan), the man who Anthony was supposed to trick the Mitchums into killing!

The Mitchums have come to see Bushnell Mullins (Don Murray) and they’ve brought him gifts, all to thank him for introducing them to Dougie and for helping them to make money off of that insurance claim. “A wrong has been made right and the sun is shining bright!” Bradley Mitchum declares.

Meanwhile, in his office, Anthony calls Duncan Todd (Patrick Fischler) and tells him that Dougie is still alive. Todd replies that it’s now Anthony’s responsibility to kill Dougie and he only had one day to do it, not the two days that he promised earlier.

The generosity of the Mitchums continues as both a new car and a jungle gym are delivered to Dougie’s house. It’s quite a jungle gym as well. It’s big, it’s lit up with neon, and everything about it just screams Vegas. Sonny Jim (Pierce Gagnon) is quite happy. So is Janey-E (Naomi Watts), which is good. They deserve some happiness.

The next morning, in Montana, the evil Doppelganger Cooper arrives at a compound called The Farm. Ray (George Griffith) has been hiding out at the Farm with Renzo (Derek Mears) and his men. When they see the Doppelganger pull up, Ray comments that he killed the Doppelganger. “You didn’t kill him too good, Ray,” Renzo replies.

Anyway, Ray volunteers to kill the Doppelganger a second time but it turns out that Renzo is something of an arm wrestling fanatic. Renzo explains that if the Doppelganger can beat him, he’ll get control of the Farm and Renzo’s entire crew. The only catch is that Renzo has never been defeated. The Doppelganger says he doesn’t want the farm, he just wants Ray.

The arm wrestling goes about how you would imagine it would go — Renzo ends up getting his arm broken and then his face literally smashed in by one punch from the Doppelganger. As for Ray, he confesses that it was Phillip Jeffries who hired him to kill the Doppelganger. Ray explains that he never met Jeffries, he just talked to him on the phone. Jeffries told Ray that the Doppelganger had something inside of him that “they” wanted. (Killer BOB, perhaps? BOB was seen directly inside of the Doppelganger during Part 8.) Ray holds up a ring that he was supposed to put on the Doppelganger’s finger. Ray says that he got it from a prison guard right before they escaped. The Doppelganger makes Ray put on the ring. Ray then gives the Doppelganger a piece of paper with the coordinates that he says he got from Bill Hastings and his secretary (that would be Ruth Davenport). The Doppelganger asks Ray where Phillip Jeffries is. Ray says Philip is at a place called “The Dutchman’s.” The Doppelganger proceeds to shoot Ray in the face.

And guess whose watching all of this unfold? Richard Horne (Eamon Farren)! Apparently, ever since fleeing Twin Peaks, Richard has been hiding out in Montana. So, does that mean that the Farm and the late Renzo had a connection to Red? If so, how is Red going to react to the Doppelganger killing Renzo and becoming The Farm’s new boss? And does Richard looked so shocked because he never thought anyone would ever beat Renzo at arm wrestling (not to mention kill him) or is it because he realizes that the Doppelganger is probably his father?

Ray’s body appears inside the Black Lodge. MIKE (Al Strobel) takes the ring and puts it on a marble table.

Back at the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police HQ, something weird’s going on in the background. We can hear a woman yelling as she apparently defecates on the floor. She’s tased and screams, “I want to report a cop!” Sitting in their office, the Fuscos aren’t too concerned. It doesn’t even bother them when they receive a report that Dougie has the same fingerprints as both an escapee from a South Dakota prison and a missing FBI agent. They laugh and throw the report away.

They barely notice as Anthony Sinclair wanders through the station, looking for Detective Clark (John Savage). Clark is outside smoking a cigarette and he doesn’t appear to be very enthusiastic about the prospect of talking to Anthony. Anthony asks Clark for the name of a good poison, one that would be undetectable. Apparently, Clark also works for Duncan Todd. Clark agrees to help Anthony get the poison.

In South Dakota, Chantal (Jennifer Jason Leigh) and Hutch (Tim Roth) drive down the interstate and, as they enter Utah, discuss what it must be like to be a Mormon.

The next morning, after Janey-E drops him off at work, Dougie runs into Anthony. A nervous Anthony offers to buy Dougie a cup of coffee at the pastry shop. Since Dougie is obsessed with coffee, he agrees. When Dougie gets distracted by a cheery pie in a display case and stands up to go stare at it, Anthony puts the poison in Dougie’s coffee.

When Dougie returns to the table, he is distracted by the dandruff on the back of Anthony’s suit. Dougie places his hands on Anthony shoulders. Mistaking this for a sign of friendship, Anthony breaks down into tears and shouts that he never meant to hurt anyone. He pours out Dougie’s poisoned coffee. Dougie responds by drinking Anthony’s coffee instead.

In Twin Peaks, at the Double R, Shelley (Madchen Amick) gets a call from Becky (Amanda Seyfried). Becky’s in tears. Steven, the man she tried to shoot, hasn’t come home in two days.

Back in Vegas, Anthony sits in Bushnell’s office and says that he’s come to confess. Standing to the side, Dougie blankly repeats, “Confess.” Anthony confesses to Bushnell that he’s been working for Duncan Todd and that he’s been lying to Bushnell for years. Bushnell says that Dougie revealed all of this to him yesterday. Bushnell asks if Anthony is prepared to testify against Duncan Todd. Anthony says that he is.

Bushnell asks if Anthony is willing to testify “against the two cops that Dougie found.”

“He know about them too!?” Anthony says.

“Them too,” Dougie blankly repeats.

Anthony says he only wants to fix the mess that he made. He says that Dougie saved his like. “Thanks, Dougie!”

“Thank Dougie,” Dougie says.

In tears, Anthony does just that.

At the Double R, Norma (Peggy Lipton) has a meeting with the somewhat oily Walter Lawford (Grant Goodeve). Apparently, Norma’s Double R is a franchise now. Walter says that there are several profitable locations in Washington State but Norma is concerned that those locations are using inferior ingredients. Walter argues that it makes good business sense to cut costs. This entire scene, of course, feels like Lynch’s commentary on the studio executives who constantly tried to interfere with Twin Peaks the first time around.

Norma and Walter are apparently a couple, as well. As they talk, they are watched by both Deputy Bobby Briggs (Dana Ashbrook) and Big Ed Hurley (Everett McGill), Norma’s former (?) lover and the husband of Nadine (Wendy Robie).

Speaking of Nadine, she is leaving her silent drape store when who should show up but Dr. Jacoby (Russ Tamblyn)! As we’ve already seen, Nadine is a huge fan of Jacoby’s podcast. She even has her own golden shovel hanging in the window of her store. Dr. Jacoby says that the last time he saw Nadine, she was on her hands and knees, looking for a potato.

At the Palmer House, Sarah (Grace Zabrikie) is drunk and watching a boxing match. Or, actually, I should say that she’s watching 30 second of a boxing match on a continious loop. The announcer says, several times: “Oh the right hand catches the big guy by the ear! And he finally goes down, hanging on the ropes. Oh, the gentleman asks if he’s okay. Look like, uh, round number one and two on the way. Now, it’s a boxing match again.”

Elsewhere, Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn) yells at Charlie (Clark Middleton). An emotional Audrey says that she feels like she’s somewhere else, like she’s not sure who she is. Charlie says, “This is Existentialism 101.” Audrey’s not amused and demands to know what she’s supposed to do if she can’t trust anyone and she’s not sure who she is. Charlie replies that she’s supposed to go to the Roadhouse and look for Billy. Audrey demands to know where the Roadhouse is.

“Are you going to stop playing games?” Charlie asks, “or am I going to have to end your story, too?”

Audrey starts to cry.

At the Roadhouse, none other than James Hurley (James Marshall) performs the song You and I. Accompanying him are two backup singers who look like they could be Donna and Maddy. Considering that the scene during the second season, in which James, Donna, and Maddy performed You And I, is regularly ridiculed by even the show’s biggest fans, you have to wonder if David Lynch is doing some deliberate trolling here. Well, it does’t matter. It’s a lovely song, one that perfectly captures the aching feeling of loss that runs through every minute of Twin Peaks: The Return.

The latest episode of Twin Peaks begins, appropriately enough, in Twin Peaks, with a group of kids tossing a baseball around outside of a trailer park. When one of them misses a catch, he chases the ball out into the middle of the road.

Needless to say, this scared the Hell out of me.

Seriously, we all know what happens when you run out into the middle of the road in Twin Peaks. Richard Horne appears out of nowhere, screaming about cocaine, and basically runs you down in a stolen pickup truck. Needless to say, I was totally prepared for this kid to die but it didn’t happen. Instead, he spotted a seriously injured Miriam (Sarah Jean Long) dragging herself out of the woods. Apparently, she survived being attacked by Richard at the beginning of last week’s episode.

Speaking of trailer park drama, someone calls Becky Burnett (Amanda Seyfried) and informs her that her good-for-nothing husband, Steve (Caleb Landry Jones), is at an apartment with Gersten Hayward (Alicia Witt). Enraged, Becky screams that she doesn’t have a car. However, she does have a mother, Shelley (Madchen Amick) and Shelley knows a little something about bad boys. When Becky calls and says that she needs her mom’s car, Shelley runs from the diner and heads to the trailer park.

When Shelley arrives, she discovers that Becky 1) has a gun and 2) wants the car so that she can track down Steve and shoot him. As Shelley gets out of the car, Becky jumps in and starts to drive off. Shelley jumps onto the hood of the car but ends up flying off as Becky speeds out of the trailer park. Fortunately, Shelley only ends up with a skinned knee. Carl (Harry Dean Stanton), who has apparently seen his share of Becky and Steve’s drama, uses a flute to summon a VW microbus and soon, Carl and Shelley are on the road!

It turns out that Carl also knows Maggie (Jodi Thelen), the dispatcher at the sheriff’s office. While sitting, with Shelley, in the back of the microbus, Carl calls Maggie and asks to be put through to Deputy Bobby Briggs (Dana Ashbrook). That’s right — Becky is Shelley and Bobby’s daughter! (Okay, that’s actually not a huge shock but seriously, I’ve been wondering if the revival would ever acknowledge Bobby and Shelley’s relationship in the original series.) Shelley tells Bobby that Becky has a gun and they’re not sure where she went.

“Oh God,” Carl says, in a tone of voice that suggests he’s not particularly shocked by any of this.

Meanwhile, at an apartment building, Becky bangs on the door to Room 208. When the woman in the next room pops out her head and announces that “They just left,” Becky responds by shooting the door six times. (And, literally everyone in Twin Peaks responds by calling the sheriff’s department.)

Meanwhile, in South Dakota, Gordon (David Lynch), Albert (Miguel Ferrer), Diane (Laura Dern), Tammy (Chrysta Bell), MacKlay (Brent Briscoe), and Bill Hastings (Matthew Lillard) pull up in front of the deserted farm where Hastings claims he and Ruth Davenport found the portal that led them to Major Briggs. Let’s see if I can keep straight what happened here:

A fat little Woodsman kept appearing and then vanishing. Gordon, Albert, and Diane all spotted the Woodsman. None of them seemed to be particularly surprised.

Gordon, and only Gordon, saw a swirling vortex, much like the one from Donnie Darko, appear in the sky.

Gordon nearly got sucked into the vortex. Before Albert pulled him back, Gordon saw what appeared to be three Woodsmen standing on a staircase.

Gordon and Albert stumbled across the headless body of Ruth Davenport.

Sitting in the backseat of MacKlay’s car Bill looked really concerned and I was briefly reminded of Lillard’s performance in 13 Ghosts.

That fat little woodsman snuck up behind MacKlay’s car. Diane saw the woodsman but said nothing.

That night, at the Double R, Bobby sits in a booth with Becky and Shelley. Becky says she wants a divorce but that she also still loves Steve. Bobby tells her that Becky is going to have to pay for the door, which Becky is not at all happy to hear. Bobby goes on to reveal that he’s convinced the Sheriff not to arrest Becky and that he’s through allowing Steve to get away with stuff. From now on, if Steve breaks the law, Bobby’s not going to step in to protect him from the consequences. When Bobby and Shelley offer to help her get away from Steve, Becky suddenly starts to defend her abusive husband. It’s a touching and rather sad scene, a chance to see Bobby and Shelley as true adults. However, it all ends when Red (Balathazar Getty) walks up to the diner. Shelley’s face lights up as she runs outside to see him. Meanwhile, Bobby and Becky exchange looks. Just as Becky is blind to Steve’s true character, Shelley is blind to who Red is.

(Shelley went from Leo to Bobby — back when Bobby was still a drug dealer — to Red. Shelley! I like bad boys too but goddamn … you can do so much better! Gordon Cole, for instance, was in love with you…)

As soon as Shelley reenters the Double R and sits back down with her daughter and ex-husband, gunshots ring out! Oh my God, is Red trying to kill Bobby!? Or is one of Red’s enemies (Richard maybe) trying to kill Shelley!? Those were my first two thoughts but no — it turns out that a kid accidentally fired a gun that he happened to find in his parent’s SUV. Bobby immediately brings order to the scene and it’s interesting to see just how much of a responsible adult and authority figure Bobby Briggs has actually become.

(Still, I always wonder if everyone’s forgotten that Bobby murdered a Canadian drug smuggler in Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me. Bobby shot off the top of his head, in much the same way that the fat little woodsman ripped off the top of Bill’s head.)

The scene ends on an odd (and rather grotesque) note when Bobby tells the woman in the car behind the SUV that she needs to stop honking her horn. The woman shouts that she has to get home and that they have miles to go. She also says that the passenger in the car with her is sick. In the passenger’s seat, a zombiesh girl looks at Bobby and starts to spit something up.

At the Sheriff’s Department, Truman (Robert Forster) and Hawk (Michael Horse) look at a map, trying to pinpoint where Major Briggs’s note told them to go. Actually, they have two maps. Truman has Google Earth while Hawk has an old Indian map. The Log Lady (Catherine Coulson) calls and asks if Hawk has found something. “My log is afraid of fire,” she explains, “There is fire where you are going.”

Back in South Dakota, Gordon is concerned because his hand is shaking. (In the original series, a twitching arm or hand often indicated that BOB was entering our world from the Black Lodge.) Albert shows Gordon a picture that he took of several numbers that were written on Ruth Davenport’s arm. Albert believes that the numbers are coordinates. Diane smokes. Tammy and MacKlay come by with donuts and coffee. “Ah!” Gordon shouts when he sees the donuts, “the policeman’s dream!”

In Las Vegas, everyone is still hilariously unaware that Dougie (Kyle MacLachlan) is an empty shell who is mostly concerned with coffee and shiny badges. Bushnell Mullins (Don Murray) tells Dougie that it’s obvious that Dougie’s “investigative work” has exposed a connection between police corruption, organized crime, and the insurance industry. As Mullins praises Dougie for his hard work, Dougie blankly drinks his coffee. Mullins says that, despite their fearsome reputation, the Mitchum Brothers are not involved in any of the corruption.

“It’s somebody else,” Mullins says.

“Somebody else,” Dougie repeats.

“That right,” Mullins agrees.

It turns out that the Mitchums want to have a personal meeting with Dougie about their claim. (Of course, we know that the Mitchums want to kill Dougie because Tom Sizemore’s Anthony Sinclair framed Dougie for cheating them out of a claim.) Mullins gives Dougie a $30 million claim check to the give to the Mitchums and then explains all of the weird technical stuff that will allow the firm to make money even as if it pays off a huge claim. I couldn’t really follow it but Mullins was certainly proud of himself.

Mullins says that the Mitchums are sending a car to pick Dougie up for their meeting. Does Mullins realize that the Mitchums are planning to kill Dougie? And could that be the real reason that Mullins gave Dougie the check, as a way of convincing the Mitchums not to kill him? I’m not sure.

Fortunately, while walking out to the waiting limo, Dougie sees MIKE (Al Strobel) beckoning him to enter a small pastry shop. Dougie buys a cherry pie. As we shall soon see, MIKE is still looking out for him.

Dougie is then driven out to the desert by the same limo driver (Jay Larson) who previously drove him home from the casino. The Mitchums are waiting for him but it quickly turns out that neither Rodney (Robert Knepper) nor Bradley (Jim Belushi) is really that enthusiastic about killing Dougie. Despite the fact that he’s been having dreams about murdering Dougie, Bradley is especially reluctant. After all, Dougie took care of Ike the Spike for them. Plus, there was more to Bradley’s dream then just killing Dougie. Bradley just can’t remember what exactly.

They’re even more reluctant once they discover that 1) Dougie is carrying a pie with him (just as he was in Bradley’s dream) and 2) Dougie has a huge check for them. So, instead of killing Dougie, they take him out to eat. Dougie especially enjoys that pie. The old woman from the casino happens to enter the restaurant and she tells “Mr. Jackpots” that, ever since he helped her win all that money, her life has been perfect! Yay! Everyone’s a winner!

All in all, this was a pretty good episode. It was good to see that the story’s moving forward. I’m really liking Bobby Briggs (and Dana Ashbrook) as the voice of moral responsibility and the Las Vegas story remains far more entertaining than it has any right to be. And now that Gordon has seen the woodsmen, what will happen next?

I’m getting a late start on this recap and I imagine that, by the time I’m finished rewatching the latest episode of Twin Peaks and typing all this up, I’ll probably barely be able to keep my eyes open. Dexedrine is a wonderful and helpful tool but it can only do so much.

(Don’t freak out, I take it for my ADD. It helps me focus. The endless energy is just a nice side benefit.)

So, I better not waste any time! Let’s talk about Part 10 of Twin Peaks!

We open in Twin Peaks, at the trailer park to be exact. Richard Horne (Eamon Farren) pulls up outside the trailer of Miriam (Sarah Jean Long), the poor woman who was unlucky enough to see him running down that little boy a few episodes ago. As this episode will demonstrate, Richard is perhaps the most loathsome character to ever appear in a David Lynch film. Even Blue Velvet‘s Frank Booth never ran down a child while driving around Lumberton.

From inside her trailer, Miriam yells at Richard that not only has she gone to the police but that she also wrote Sheriff Truman a letter, telling him that, if anything happens to her, Richard is the one responsible. Richard responds by rushing into the trailer and beating Miriam to death.

As Richard walks away from the trailer, he calls his Deputy Chad (John Pirruccello) and orders him to intercept the letter and keep Truman from reading it.

Elsewhere in the trailer park. Carl (Harry Dean Stanton) sits in front of the manager’s office, plays his guitar, and sings. The gentleness of Carl’s voice provides a stark contrast to the rest of the episode.

Carl’s song is interrupted by the sound of Steve (Caleb Landry Jones), in another trailer, yelling at Becky (Amanda Seyfried) and throwing stuff out the window. Becky is not only Shelley’s daughter but apparently, she’s found herself married to a modern-day Leo Johnson as well. Just like Leo, Steve is upset because he feels Becky isn’t keeping their home clean enough.

(Whatever happened to Leo? I assume all those tarantulas eventually fell on his face and killed him.)

In Las Vegas, Candie (Amy Shiels) — wearing her iconic pink dress — attempts to kill a fly by hitting it with a remote. Unfortunately, the fly happens to be on the face of Rodney Mitchum (Robert Knepper), which leads to him getting smacked. Bradley (James Belushi) rushes into the room the make sure that Rodney is okay, while Candie screams and sobs. The fly, I believe, escaped unharmed.

Janey-E (Naomi Watts) and Dougie (Kyle MacLachlan) visit with Dr. Ben (John Billingsley). While Dougie continues to stare blankly forward, Janey-E explains that he’s been acting strangely for a few days. Janey-E explains that Dougie has a drinking and gambling problem. Dr. Ben is bemused by Dougie’s weight loss. Janey-E agrees that Dougie has lost a lot of weight … “in a good way.” Dr. Ben announces that Dougie appears to be in perfect health. “Remarkable,” Janey-E says while looking at the shirtless Dougie.

Back the Mitchum place, Candie is still crying while Rodney assures her that he’s fine. On the TV, Bradley and Rodney watch a news story about both Dougie and the arrest of Ike the Spike.

At the Jones house, Janey-E watches Dougie eat cake. She asks if he finds her attractive. Dougie says nothing, entranced by the cake. Janey-E tells him that she finds him attractive. Dougie stares at her blankly. Janey-E takes Dougie upstairs, where she rides him while he lays underneath her in a state of stunned euphoria. (Dougie/Cooper, of course, is experiencing all of this for the first time.) Afterward, she tells Dougie, “I love you.” “Love you,” Dougie blankly repeats.

In Twin Peaks, Dr. Jacoby (Russ Tamblyn) rants on his podcast about pharmaceutical companies. Nadine (Wendy Robie) listens approvingly. We see that she’s sitting in her own store, Run Silent Run Drapes. Yay! Nadine finally perfected her drape runners!

It’s morning in Vegas. As Sonny Jim (Pierce Gagnon), fresh from being traumatized by all the noise his parents made while he was trying to get some sleep, waits in the car, Janey-E tells Dougie that she can’t stop thinking about last night. Dougie blankly nods.

At the Sheriff’s office, Lucy (Kimmy Robertson) wonders why Deputy Chad is hanging out in the lobby. Of course, we know that Chad is waiting for the mail so that he can intercept Miriam’s letter. Chad, however, just says that he’s appreciating the beauty of the day. Chad sees the mailman pulling up so he runs outside to meet him. Lucy is rightly suspicious, especially when Chad rather obviously stuffs Miriam’s letter under his shirt.

This is followed by a scene that literally left me queasy. At the Horne House, a bruised and battered Johnny Horne (Eric Rondell) stares at a creepy toy that has the body of teddy bear and a head of glass. Throughout the entire violent and brutal scene that will follow, the toy continues to ask — in a vaguely British accent — “Hello, Johnny. How are you today?”

Johnny Horne (Richard’s uncle)

Richard bursts into the house and demands that Sylvia (Jan D’Arcy) give him money. When she tells him to ask his grandfather, Richard grabs her by throat. As Richard attacks her (and Farren is absolutely terrifying in this scene), Johnny falls out of the chair and groans on the floor. It gets even worse when Johnny calls Sylvia “grandma.”

Sylvia, Richard’s grandmother

In other words, tonight, my greatest fear was confirmed. Richard is Audrey’s son. And judging from both his sociopathic personality and their shared affinity for leather jackets, it appears that Richard’s father is the Doppelganger. A few episodes ago, Dr. Hayward revealed the, when Cooper last saw Audrey, she was still in a coma.

Richard Horne (son of Audrey and Cooper’s Doppelganger)

Richard gets the money. He also calls his grandmother the C-word and steals her jewelry. “Why do you have to make something so simple so fucking difficult!?” Richard snaps before leaving.

Seriously, this scene — more than anything else that we’ve seen so far in this series — left me truly shaken. The performances of Farren and D’Arcy were so intense that, even though I knew it was coming and what would happen, I still had to take a break after rewatching this scene.

After that disturbing scene, we cut back to Las Vegas. Roger (Joe Adler) tells Duncan Todd (Patrick Fischler) that it’s true that Ike has been captured by the police. After Roger leaves, we see that Anthony Sinclair (Tom Sizemore) is in Duncan’s office. Duncan tells Anthony that he’s to go to the Mitchum Brothers and that he’s to claim that Dougie cheated them out of an insurance claim. Duncan believes that the Mitchums will respond by killing Dougie. If the Mitchums don’t kill Dougie, Anthony will have to do it himself.

In South Dakota, love is in the air. Albert (Miguel Ferrer) is on a date with coroner Constance Talbot (Jane Adams). A bemused Gordon (David Lynch) watches them, with Tammy (Chrysta Bell) at his side. But Gordon — you belong with Shelley!

Back in Vegas, Anthony goes to the casino and is spotted by the Mitchum brothers. They tell Candie — who, like the other ladies in pink, is hanging out in their office — to bring Anthony to see them. “You want me to bring him here?” Candie asks, somewhat vaguely, before heading to the casino floor.

As they watch Candie and Anthony on the surveillance footage, the Mitchum brothers realize that they may have made a mistake sending Candie. Candie and Anthony start to have a long conversation. Bradley is finally forced to tell the pit boss, Warrick (David Dastmalchian) to bring both Candie and Anthony back to the main office.

Before Rodney can complain, Bradley says, “If we fire her, she’s got no place to go.” So, in case you were wondering which brother was the nice brother, apparently it’s Jim Belushi.

Anyway, Candie and Anthony finally arrive at the office. The Mitchums demand to know what Candie and Anthony were talking about. Candie thinks for a minute and then remembers that they were talking about how it was going to be hot and smoggy the next day.

Anthony finally gets his chance to tell the Mitchum brothers that Dougie handled their denied claim and that he has a personal vendetta against them. Anthony is not exactly the best liar and the Mitchums tell Candie to show Anthony out of their office.

“You have an enemy in Douglas Jones!” Anthony shouts.

Later, Bradley and Rodney have a drink in their living room. Despite Anthony not being the most convincing of storytellers, the Mitchum brothers appear to believe him and they both agree that Dougie has to die. Rodney announces, “Now I know how Brando felt.”

(Wally Brando, maybe?)

Back in South Dakota, Gordon sits in his hotel room and draws a picture — one that resembles the cave drawings from the 2nd season of Twin Peaks — on a piece of paper. Someone knocks on his door. When Gordon answers it, he has a vision of Laura crying while hearing Sarah Palmer (Grace Zabriksie) calling Laura’s name.

As the vision fades, Gordon sees that Albert is standing out in the hallway. Albert enters the hotel room and reveals that, while they were in the morgue, Diane received a text on her phone: “Around the dinner table, the conversation is lively.” Albert says that he and Tammy tracked the text as coming from Mexico. Diane responded with a heavily encrypted message: “They have Hastings. He’s going to take them to the site.”

“What should we do?” Albert asks.

“Keep her close,” Gordon replies.

Tammy then shows up at the room, revealing that she has new information concerning “the penthouse murders” in New York City. (That would be the murder of poor Sam and Tracy in Part 1.) She shows Gordon a picture of the Doppelganger in the penthouse, standing in front of the glass case.

At the Great Northern, Ben (Richard Beymer) takes a call from his now ex-wife, Sylvia. Sylvia demands that Ben repay her all of the money that Richard stole from her. Ben refuses. Sadly, when Ben asks if Johnny’s okay, Sylvia snaps back, “No concern about me!”

Hanging up on his former wife, a frustrated Ben calls out, “Beverly, do you want to have dinner with me?”

At her lonely house, the Log Lady (Catherine Coulson) calls Hawks (Michael Horse) and tell him that “Electricity is humming. You can hear it in the mountains and rivers…in these days, the glow is dying? What will be in the darkness that remains?”

(This scene is even more poignant when you consider it was probably the final thing that Coulson ever filmed before passing away last year.)

The Log Lady tells Hawk that the Truman brothers are “true men … they are your brothers … watch and lesson to the dream of time and space…Hawk…Laura is the one…”

At the Road House, Rebekah Del Rio performs, providing both this episode and the series as a whole with yet another link to Mulholland Drive. (That’s not as crazy as it sounds. Mulholland Drive was originally envisioned as being a spin-off of Twin Peaks, with Audrey moving to Hollywood.)

What to say about this episode? It was, in many ways, deceptively simple. All of the disparate elements of the show are finally coming together. The appearances by Sizemore, Belushi, and Knepper served to remind us — just as Jennifer Jason Leigh did last week — that Twin Peaks is not just random David Lynch quirkiness. Everything is connected. A story is being told. You just have to have the patience to look for the clues.

And finally, to those reviewers complaining that Twin Peaks: The Return is misogynistic, open your eyes. Yes, many of the characters are misogynists. Not a single one of them is, in anyway, portrayed sympathetically. He may be a surrealist but David Lynch is one of the most humanistic filmmakers of all time. If the world of Twin Peaks is sometimes ugly, so is the world outside your front door.

Well, there’s one thing that you can definitely say for sure about not only Twin Peaks but also about every other film that David Lynch has ever made. (And make no mistake — they may be calling this the third season of Twin Peaks but it’s obviously meant to be more of an 18-hour film than a traditional television series.) Lynch moves at his own pace. He knows where he’s going but, often, he doesn’t seem to be in any hurry to get there.

And, quite frankly, that can sometimes to be frustrating. David Lynch requires patience on the part of the viewer and a willingness to have faith in his ability as an artist. To a certain extent, the modern world almost seems to be set up to make things as difficult as possible for an artist like David Lynch. We’re used to things being fast-paced. We’re used to having immediate (if superficial) answers to any and all questions. In a time when movies are dominated by hyperactive editing and overwhelming soundtracks, David Lynch has the courage to portray moments of silence and stillness. It’s what sets him apart from other filmmakers. It’s also the reason why this critically acclaimed director has always struggled to get his films made. In 41 years, David Lynch has had ten films theatrically released. Michael Bay directed his first film twenty years after the release of Eraserhead and he has gone to direct twelve more.

Part 5 of Twin Peaks is a perfect example of Lynch’s deliberate pace. As I watched it, I found myself occasionally saying, “When is Cooper going to get normal again!?” I mean, Kyle MacLachlan is doing great work as Dougie/Cooper but how many more times am I going to have to watch him get confused over the need to urinate? That’s a joke that’s getting old.

Yes, I was frustrated.

But here’s the thing:

As frustrated as I may be by the whole Dougie/Cooper situation, I’m not going anywhere. I trust David Lynch and, throughout Part 5, there were scenes that reminded me of why I trust David Lynch. The man is a genius. I’m thinking of the three women in pink nonchalantly watching as the casino pit boss got beaten. I’m thinking of the close-up on Amanda Seyfried’s face after she snorted the cocaine. I’m thinking of Russ Tamblyn ranting.

I will follow David Lynch anywhere.

As for Part 5, it opened with Lynch’s camera prowling through the streets of Las Vegas, a city that seems especially Lynchian.

Out at the Rancho Rosa Development, the two hitmen who were sent to kill Dougie are still sitting outside of the deserted house that Dougie used for his lost weekend with Jade. They’re watching Dougie’s car. One of them calls a woman and tells her that they still haven’t seen Dougie. She does not take the news well. She sends a message to Argentina, where it is apparently received by a black box sitting in a basin.

In South Dakota, the coroner has found something in the stomach of the body that was found underneath the head of Ruth Davenport. It’s a gold ring, one that has an inscription: “To Destiny, With Love, James C.” (I’ve listened to the line about the inscription about a dozen times and I’m pretty sure that’s what the coroner said. If I’m wrong, please let me know.)

In his prison cell, Doppelganger Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) stares at himself in his cell’s tiny mirror. He flashes back to the time he and Killer BOB shared a laugh in the Black Lodge. He sees himself smashing his face into the mirror at the Great Northern.

In Twin Peaks, we are reintroduced to Mike Nelson (Gary Hershberger), who was Bobby’s best friend and fellow drug dealer during the first two seasons of Twin Peaks. (He eventually became Nadine’s boyfriend during the time that she had amnesia and thought she was 16.) Mike is a grown-up, suit-wearing professional now, sitting in an office that is decorated with the mounted heads of dead deer. Mike is conducting a job interview with Steve Burnett (Caleb Landry Jones), who appears to be a real loser. Mike informs Steve that his resume is the worst resume that he’s ever seen and then kicks him out of the office.

At the Sheriff’s Department, Doris Truman (Candy Clark) comes by to yell at Frank (Robert Forster) about something. Honestly, I kinda tuned out this scene and I hope that Doris doesn’t become a major character. If anything, Frank is even more laconic than his brother.

Back in Las Vegas, Janey-E (Naomi Watts) finally gets Dougie/Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) out of the house. She has to tie his necktie for him. As she tells him everything that he needs to do, Dougie/Cooper stares at her with a blank look. It’s interesting that, as frustrated as Janey-E gets with Dougie/Cooper, she still tries to rationalize his strange behavior.

At the Rancho Rosa development, Dougie’s car continues to sit there. The two hitmen drive by again. They are followed by five more guys, who are all in a black car and playing their music super loud.

Janey-E drops Dougie/Cooper off at his place of employment. Apparently, Dougie worked for Lucky Seven Insurance. However, Dougie/Cooper is less interested in his job and more fascinated by a statue of a cowboy pointing a gun. In an oddly beautiful scene, he imitates the statue’s pose. Finally, one of his co-workers wanders by and tells Dougie to “get the lead out” because they have a meeting. That co-worker is carrying 8 cups of coffee so, of course, Dougie/Cooper follows after him.

At the meeting, which is full of vapid insurance people, Dougie/Cooper reveals that he can now tell when people are lying. Apparently, whenever someone lies, a green light flashes across their face. When Dougie/Cooper offends another agent (played by Tom Sizemore, no less) by calling him a liar, their boss, the wonderfully named Bushnell Mills (Don Murray), defuses the situation by giveing Dougie/Cooper several case files to take home with him.

Out in the hallway, Dougie/Cooper needs to pee but, like a panicking Sim, has no idea what to do. Luckily, one of his co-workers, assuming that the men’s room must be locked, sneaks Dougie/Cooper into the ladies room.

At the Silver Mustang Casino, Rodney Mitchum (Robert Knepper) and Bradley Mitchum (Jim Belushi) demand to know how Cooper/Dougie could possibly have won 30 jackpots. Rodney’s way of handling it is to beat up the pit boss (David Dastmalchian) while three women in pink stand in the corner of the room and nonchalantly watch.

Back at Rancho Rosa, Drugged-Out Mother (Hailey Gates) is passed out so her son leaves the house and walks across the street, intent on investigating Dougie’s bomb-laden car. Fortunately, before the kid can set the bomb off, the black car pulls up. The five men jump out of the car and tell the kid to “get the fuck outta here!” They’re planning on stealing Dougie’s car for themselves. Of course, as soon as the engine starts, the car explodes and takes three of the car thieves with it. The kid runs back to his house, where the junkie mom is just now starting to come out of her stupor.

At a nearby carwash, Jade (Nafessa Williams) is getting her car washed when she comes across the key to Cooper’s room at the Great Northern. She drops the key in a nearby mailbox.

At the Double R Diner — it’s Norma (Peggy Lipton) and Shelley (Madchen Amick)! 25 years have passed and they’re still exactly where we left them. Except that Shelley now has a daughter named Becky (Amanda Seyfried) and Becky’s married to Steve. Becky comes by the diner to borrow money from Shelley. Then she goes outside and snorts cocaine with Steve. Lynch’s camera gives us a close-up of Becky’s face as the drugs temporarily takes away all of her problems. In this scene, not only does Becky look like Shelley’s daughter (Madchen Amick and Amanda Seyfried really do look like they could be related) but there’s also a disconcerting resemblance to Laura Palmer as well.

(Also, remember how Shelley used to say that she married Leo because of his car? Well, Steve has a corvette of his own.)

Back in Vegas, Dougie/Cooper is still acting weird. He doesn’t understand that, when riding an elevator, you’re supposed to get off when the doors open. Some people get upset with him about that but Dougie/Cooper is more interested in going outside and staring at that statue. Of course, Dougie/Cooper is still holding onto those case files.

In his trailer, Dr. Jacoby (Russ Tamblyn) goes live online, delivering a rant about globalist corporate conspiracies and selling his gold-painted shovels so that his listeners can “dig yourself out of the shit.” Nadine (Wendy Robie) and Jerry (David Patrick Kelly) listen appreciatively.

At the Pentagon, Col. Davis (Ernie Hudson) is informed that they’ve gotten another “database hit” on Garland Briggs’s fingerprints. Apparently, in the years since his mysterious death, Briggs’s finger prints have shown up in 16 different locations.

At the Roadhouse, the kickass band Trouble is playing. Meanwhile, a handsome but dangerous looking man (Eamon Farren) sits under a sign that says no smoking and smokes a cigarette. When a Roadhouse employee tells him to put out his cigarette, the man hands over a pack of cigarettes. Inside the pack are several hundred dollar bills. So, apparently, the Roadhouse is still the center of the Twin Peaks drug trade.

When Charlotte (Grace Victoria Cox) tries to flirt with him, the man suddenly turns violent, grabbing her and taunting her with, “Do you want to fuck me, Charlotte? Do you want to fuck? I’m going to laugh when I fuck you, bitch!” It’s a deeply unpleasant scene, as Lynch obviously meant for it to be.

The man’s name is not mentioned but, according to the end credits, he’s Richard Horne. Presumably, he’s a member of the infamous Horne Family. Is he a cousin? Or maybe Jerry’s kid? Or, even more intriguingly, Audrey’s son? Whatever he is, Richard is bad news.

(And let’s not forget that, way back at the start of Part One, the Giant told Cooper to remember “Richard and Linda.”)

At FBI Headquarters, Tamara (Chrysta Bell) compares the finger prints of both Cooper and his Doppelganger.

At the South Dakota prison, Doppelganger Cooper finally gets his phone call. The warden (James Morrison) thinks that they’ll be able to listen in on the call but Doppelganger Cooper has other plans. After taunting everyone listening, Cooper pushes several keys on the phone, which somehow causes every alarm in the prison to go off. While the warden tries to restore order, Doppelganger Cooper says, into the phone, “The cow’s jumped over the moon.” As soon as Doppelganger Cooper hangs up, the alarms fall silent.

In Argentina, the black box changes into a small ring.

In Vegas, Dougie/Cooper continues to stare at the statue.

And so, the latest episode ends. The story may be moving at its own pace but I can’t wait to see where else it leads.