Falcons safety Lawyer Milloy was arrested on charges of driving under the influence early this morning. The 13-year veteran was booked at 4:30 and released on bail a little over five hours later. No details yet on his blood alcohol level, which of course is the best part of any DUI story.

It’s unlikely that Milloy’s playing time will be cut. He’s backed up by Jamaal Fudge, who was picked off waivers from Jacksonville on Sept. 2, and who has been inactive for the first two games of the season.

Why not? I thought everyone loves Fudge?

That joke was the second string. First string was a softball about Lawyer representing himself (…because his name is LAWYER! Ta-da!), but it’s hard to top this comment from Deadspin: “In retrospect, Lawyer should have simply just passed the bar and went home.”