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Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote "I do not wish to treat friendships daintily, but with the roughest courage. When they are real, they are not glass threads or frost work, but the solidest thing we know." Should that apply to "more than friends" relationships? There appears to be a link between intelligence and kinkiness. A ménage à trois would certainly fit within the category of kinkiness. Although some might claim "the more, the merrier," is there something missing from a threesome? Are there any rules or limits you would want to establish before agreeing to a ménage à trois? How often do feelings get hurt and/or relationships destroyed from such an act? No matter how good the sex might be, can a threesome be emotionally safe if one of the parties is a jealous type of person? How would you go about organizing such a tryst? In a world where "cheating" on your significant other is not considered proper, is inviting conflict into the bedroom a smart idea when you have a good thing going?

FTA:

In 2009, I had a fight with my wife, Raquel. It was "Lord of the Rings" epic. Like most fights between couples, it was complicated and scary and boring in its details. Unlike most fights between couples, it was about a ménage à trois. Raquel wanted to have one. I did not.

Raquel is bi in a big way... We're monogamous in our marriage, but before we met, she'd made hot tub love to another girl, made out with girls onstage at Anal Blast concerts, had her own "Bound" experience with her girlfriend and said girlfriend's husband. She currently does ample work as a fetish model and performs as a scream queen, doing "B" movies with titles like "Bad Girls Burn in Hell."

I, on the other hand, am a bit of a prude. I grew up square in the Bible Belt and didn't even know what fellatio was until I was 22. I lost my virginity at 26 and married the girl I lost it with...

I know this is the stuff of movie fantasy, but I wasn't turned on. I was furious. I was deeply hurt. I sputtered my defense: When you're in love with someone, it's not just sex, it's a communion of souls. It's intimacy of the purest kind. You're not just baring your privates. You're baring everything. Why would Raquel want to share that with someone else? Now, before you tell me I'm some sentimental wimp, or some puritanical zealot, I am well aware that it is healthy for people in love to have fantasies about other, often far more famous, people. I get that... But things get messy when a raunchy fantasy becomes reality. It's one of the messages of "Chasing Amy": Threesomes are a bad idea...

But my anger about the ménage à trois surprised me. I took a hard look at myself in the bathroom mirror: What was wrong with me? Was I just too uptight? Was I too paranoid of losing the love I never thought I'd have or deserve?

We all admire beauty, but the mind ultimately must be stimulated for maximum arousal. Longevity in relationships cannot occur without a meeting of the minds. And that is what Braincrave is: a dating venue where minds meet. Learn about the thoughts of your potential match on deeper topics... topics that spawn your own insights around what you think, the choices you make, and the actions you take.

We are a community of men and women who seek beauty and stimulation through our minds. We find ideas, education, and self-improvement sexy. We think intelligence is hot. But Braincrave is more than brains and I.Q. alone. We are curious. We have common sense. We value and offer wisdom. We experiment. We have great imaginations. We devour literacy. We are intellectually honest. We support and encourage each other to be better.

The Braincrave.com discussion group on Second Life was a twice-daily intellectual group discussions typically held at 12:00 PM SLT (PST) and 7:00 PM SLT. The discussions took place in Second Life group chat but are no longer formally scheduled or managed. The daily articles were used to encourage the discussions.