So the other day I was picking up my husband from the airport. He had gone somewhere that was very difficult for me to deal with and stayed for a number of days…so you can imagine that I was super happy that he made it back home.

On this particular day, I decided to pick him up more as “Hottie” Muslim than “Haute” Muslim. Side note: Don’t judge me! Allah saw me way before your judgmental eyes read this post…

Anyway, as I rode to the airport on this beautiful summer day dressed other than myself, I began to think about how absolutely fine I felt and looked. I noticed the stares from the men and women…and shamed to admit I liked the attention! I had the window down, the sun was shining and I was singing my favorite songs! As my eyes looked up to the rear view mirror and I caught a glance at myself, I thought…MILF!

Please make no mistake, do not misunderstand this post! It is not a celebration of my Islamically inappropriate behavior. Nor is it some “Hey, look at me” self esteem post…that’s for tomorrow (; The entire point to this post is what my next thoughts were. My very next thought as my eyes left the rear view mirror still celebrating my ample glittery cleavage was that Allah is not pleased.

My second thought was how easy it was for me to do it. Yeah, I felt mad uncomfortable and even thought about putting on a jacket. But, it was like that cartoon angel and devil on your shoulder. That day the devil won…This is the thought I want to talk about, because I really don’t need to expound of God’s thoughts regarding immodesty. Striving… Anyway, I thought about how I could just as easily dress this way if I wanted to…everyday. I thought about how we all know what we are supposed to do and in different matters choose to do the exact opposite. Whether it’s an agreement between two people, whether you feel it’s what God wants you to do, or whether it’s something you promised yourself…It could be something small to something big…but, the point is, we make these kind of decisions every single day. It lead me to the thought that we should applaud folks for the small things. Applaud folks that do what they say they are supposed to do. I’m not saying that we should have some sort of parade or whatever, but damn this is a sick sad world…(Daria Flashbacks abound…) So, someone striving deserves some applause! Even if that someone is you!

Cuz I gotta tell you don’t nobody gotta do nothing, so when they do, when we do… make our word bond, support them/yourself. I went out of the house with dressed as the Anti-Hijab, no lie, and it was easy, by comparison. I don’t have a problem dressing Islamically…not really my uphill road, got other issues…( Now I know, there’s some deep rooted spiritual illness that I need to deal with and trust, Allah is not done with me….He got it… Normally, though, I don’t go out the house dressed immodestly.) The point is we live in a world that is built on selling that we should be the exact opposite of the spiritual guidelines provided for us. Spouses aren’t supposed to cheat and we know it…but, at the end of the day…we could do it if that’s what we wanted to. So, even though someone isn’t supposed to…look at the world we live in. Some people do not care…so when you have someone trying…If you are someone striving…focus on that and applaud the struggle. Cuz, it is ordained and there isn’t one single reason why we can’t applaud when someone makes the right decision.

My husband is doing a performance in New York in support of our freedom fighters locked down. Sometimes I am concerned for him. Sometimes I miss him. Sometimes I am selfish and do not wish to share my husband with the world. Other times, I am understanding. I am thankful. I am proud. While other times, I am fearful. Sometimes, I want to sing all his hooks. Record all his videos. Go to every performance… But I can’t.

I am most often prayerful, cognizant that when God has given you a mission. You must submit. When God has revealed to you how you are to use your gifts and talents. You must submit. I used to think that my mission was to help my husband. That was it. That was all. I no longer feel that way. Don’t misunderstand me, part of my mission is to help my husband. I am his help meet. Don’t get it twisted, I AM THAT PROVERBS 31 CHICK! (I intend to put that on a t-shirt…copyright 2013) But, I am me. I too have a mission. But, everything in its own time.

THMLF has got me thinking about the time. How am I supposed to utilize my time here on Earth…specifically. He tweeted earlier today, “We have to accept responsibility to rectify the condition that prevails in our communities because no one else can do it for us. Rise up and accept your responsibility!” We all have a different role to play and different responsibilities. At different times in our lives we may have to fall back and figure out just what that role is. The thing is we have to keep moving while trying to figure out where we fit in.

What I am learning is that everything must be in its own time. When you try to rush things, they are compromised. You can’t take the cake out before its done. I am learning to trust that Allah is Sufficient and the Best Knower. I am learning that this world and the mission is so much bigger than just me, but that I still play a part in it.

My part today was not as grand as what some might think their mission would be. It did not involve speaking before congress. Nor did it envolve removing a brain tumor. To me, it was just as important. I helped my sister begin to learn how to sew. It’s funny how the God can teach you lessons, if you just shut up and listen for Him.

I’m really busy. My husband is frequently out of town. We have three small children (the youngest is one) who all have extra curricular activities and I am in school full time. But, I agreed to help my sister start her sewing journey. I am grateful that she came by. She too is busy. She is newly married. She is pregnant and has a daughter who has extra curricular activities. But, it was important to her to learn how to sew, for herself and for her daughter. Nation building starts with individuals and families first.

We met for about 4 hours and by the end we were both exhausted. Her spirit of tenacity is always inspiring. I love how you can look at her face and see her mind working. She was in the orientation class when I was the instructress and she was always the most studious and the most quiet. You had to be prepared, because she was there to find truth. She takes her spirituality seriously. She is the epitome of humility. Her grace is admirable. I love and admire this sister.

I have to tell you. I only intended on spending 2 hours max….ok one hour… on the class. But, she was so determined to get her head around a certain concept that we had to keep going. She taught me that I do have more time to dedicate to helping others. She taught me that I do have the patience and knowledge to teach people how to sew. I am not the best seamstress, no not by a long shot, but I know how to sew. Just teaching the basics of pattern reading, measuring, and fabric selection will give someone the basics of sewing. She can take these principles and teach herself how to make anything she wants to make …and she will. I am inspired.

I often get questions about where to get long skirts…there are a plethora of stores that sell them, but your best bet is making your own. Online resources like Shukr sale really cute long skirts…but they start at $70. Unless you can catch one on sale. If you can you’re looking at spending $35 and they may or may not have your size. Actually they are having a sale now…

You can make this skirt with between 1 7/8 yards (size 6) of fabric to 2 1/2 (size 22). And you too can have the perfect long skirt…which I like to call The Skirt. I have made this skirt in red, brown, white, and multi-tan. Seriously, it’s that usable of a pattern…

I saw another really great skirt on Mimi G. Style made of tie dyed denim and was inspired to make this skirt again out of the same fabric. (Mimi posted a link to purchase it with a 10% discount! God Bless her!) I’m going to makeV1038 out of the tie dyed fabric too, when I find the time. Keep in mind, Mimi’s skirt is a Burda pattern that she had to lengthen from knee to ankle and the one I’m recommending is a Vogue and you don’t have to lengthen. (You’ll have to google the other one (;)

This ankle length skirt, V1038, can be dressed up or down, depending on your fabric selection. If you look at the drawing you’ll notice the great detail at the hips and bottom. It is an extremely easy sew. The pattern is a DKNY pattern.

If you have any questions about this pattern comment below and I will try to help.

Yesterday, I had 3 classes, two of which were 3 hours each, the other was only 1 hour. This is the only day of school that I spend an entire day on campus. I was exhausted…still am, truth be told. I literally feel like I’m working non-stop. I was beginning to lament about how I didn’t think I could do it…’til I remembered that not to long ago, I had to get up 5+ days a week and worked 8+ hours a day and rode transportation to and fro for 2+ hours a day. Sometimes adding to that schedule by working overtime. This semesters schedule does have me going to the school daily, but I am taking classes that I enjoy and I do not have to commit 10+ hours a day building something for someone else (well, except by way of tuition and I look at that as a trade off/investment). The classes that I am taking are for a specific goal and reason. I am helping to establish something long term for our family, because my spouse has identified what his gifts and talents are and mine, by Allah’s determination, just happen to enhance his. I am so grateful that I am able to work from home. I know sometimes we don’t think we can do it, but be inspired, you can! All it takes is sacrifice, humility and faith.

I was about to talk about how I much I missed my youngest son, until I thought about the fact that some single mothers work full time and go to school full time. I venture to bet they don’t spend time with there children half as much as I do. It is in these moments that I am grateful that I work from home and that I have a spouse that helps to facilitate my working from home. Allah has blessed us to compliment each other and by His grace we work well together. He stays in his lane (most times) and I stay in mine (most times) and Allah has blessed us to work solely for ourselves for over 3+ years (working from home or abroad). It didn’t come easy, we have had many trials and sometimes did not appreciate each other in the process. But, understanding in hindsight that those trials purified our marriage and helped align us to work together even more set us on a more determined path for success.

It is often said, what you enjoy doing so much so that you can spend hours at it and not feel like you’ve been working is what you’re supposed to do in life. I can honestly say this is the truth. I can also bear witness to HMLF’s statement that a man who doesn’t know where he’s going doesn’t need a woman to help him get no where (paraphrase). I have experience with both. We have made so much progress, by Allah’s permission, together. I am hoping that we can inspire others to take a chance on faith working together to steal away.

I always try to write about things I have encountered or have been. Fallen angels is one of those subjects. Fallen angels is a term I use to describe people that have fallen from grace in our judgmental eyes. So, in the broader sense, it could be someone like Peter. He’s all ride or die for Jesus, until the cock crowed three times. At that moment in time, Peter is a fallen angel. Someone rolling with Jesus could have looked up to Peter, because that was Jesus’ boy. So, when Peter denies Jesus…well the person looking up to Peter could be spiritually shook. But, what Peter did doesn’t have a thing to do with them. Beyond what the trial might present for them.

When I was younger, I was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness. The hierarchy in the local Kingdom Hall culminates with the elder. Now, as a teenager, I would look at these brothers like they were straight up saints. I simply could not fathom that one could sin, let alone do something out of line with God’s instructions….That is until I saw one get disfellowshipped…followed by another…and yet another…My child brain could not wrap around the fact that people who yielded authority over God’s flock could sin. One elder went to prison for embezzling money from a widow. One elder a child molester. One elder cheated on his wife. Watching brother after brother, some who had even sat on tribunals regarding me, get disfellowshipped messed me up. I was spiritually disillusioned.

Sadly, this was not the only time I would become spiritually disillusioned…as I continue down my spiritual road, I frequently become and pass by fallen angels. I would surprise even myself sometimes and have to realize that yep, girl you’ve fallen get your stuff together. I served for approximately a year as the Sister Captain. I was properly relieved for medical reasons. After I was properly relieved, I didn’t want no parts of responsibility and I acted accordingly. The sister who served as the lieutenant under my charge felt the entire weight of the post upon my departure and I let her. (I have since apologized to this sister and pray for her forgiveness.) I didn’t want the responsibility of covering up properly, so I didn’t. It was all about sundresses and no scarves. I had fallen. It wasn’t the first, nor last time I would fall. I don’t know if my fall affected anyone (in regard to spiritual disillusion), and pray for forgiveness if it did, but once I realized I had fallen, it certainly effected me and the way I think and interact with people.

You see this is the thing, none of us has reached that perfection that we would love to have. No, not one. The only perfection we have reached is that of judging one another. LOL The reasons why we join religions, churches, mosques or whatever we do are all our own. Some join because of the feelings that a particular lecture might inspire, some may join because it give them purpose, others because they feel a sense of belonging and family. Some see how the brothers treat the sisters or vice versa. Some are born into the religion. While others believe the truth of what is being taught and decided to dedicate their lives to what they believe.

However, while in the ranks of the spiritual family, we may start to look at the people in front of us as infallible. We may even venture into polytheism. This is where the problem lies and when people become fallen angels. We begin looking at people as though they are, well, angels, but in a spooky sense. We take what they say as Divine revelation…and it probably is. We think they are an example worthy of emulation…and they probably are. But, what we fail to remember is that what we are seeing is the God in them…they are not The God and neither are we. They are not worthy of worship and neither are we. More than likely they aren’t even aware that you viewed them in this manner.

What’s sad is that whatever they have done that we consider a sin does not take away from the good that they have accomplished. Dr. King’s infidelities do not make him a horrible man who didn’t do a damn thing…no, it merely makes him a flawed, yet great man. Yeah, it was wack, but it is undeniable the work that he accomplished. Not to mention that we have no idea why God sometimes allows things to happen. In Surah 18 of the Quran, we read of Moses traveling with a wise man. Moses was so busy judging dude that he missed out on many opportunities to expand his knowledge. Minister Farrakhan says it’s unwise to judge someone in transition. I know it’s cliche, but everything in my life has happened for a reason. Every painful experience had something for me to learn from it. I just pray I learned so I won’t have to repeat them.

Please don’t think I’m giving the “fallen” a pass…nah, I just think vengeance is the Lord’s. I don’t know why it hurts so much when we see people we thought were spiritual giants fall. People sin. In fact the bible says in Romans 3:23, “All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” So, we really should not be surprised when it happens. Maybe its because we attach their seeming perfection to our thoughts of our own ability and when they don’t succeed we don’t think we can either. I don’t know.

But, I do know why we have to fall. One is that there is something the fallen must learn and the other is that God is a jealous God and He doesn’t want our motivation for worship to be shared with anyone. Our personal relationship with God is what needs to be our primary focus. So, when people fall, I think it’s a test for us who say we love God, to see where our heads at…where our allegiance lies. Will we let this fall affect our relationship with God? Sometimes we even use their “fall” as a reason why we don’t go out or don’t join a particular community. Bottom line is that at the end of the day, we are responsible to God, as we see Him. Our relationship with God is what we must nurture and protect, not some illusion of perfection in someone who has the same ability to connect to God as we do. There is nothing wrong with admiring people, but all that we see in someone else we can easily find in ourselves if we would but submit.

“He it is Who created you, but one of you is a disbeliever and one of you is a believer. And Allah is Seer of what you do.” Surah 64:2

I usta think the above verse was solely talking about two different people…you know like, a husband and a wife…or two believers…but the more I study myself the more I have started to think it can also be talking about one person…a person who God knows has issues, issues with submitting our will to His.

When I read it now, it reads like…

“Your initial creation, you know the one that naturally inclines toward righteousness…God is responsible for…but, this hybrid you are now…yeah, that’s all you…and all that trifling stuff you do when you think no one is around…um, yeah, God sees you.”