The entire world is watching. The fate of England’s World Cup chances lie in your hands, as you’re passed the ball in the final, with a clear run to goal. You run left, you dribble right, and you’re on track to score that brilliant goal and win it for England, when your foot catches a mole hill on the grass. You stumble, trip and fall, and you lose the ball. Game over.

Or it might be that you need to score that penalty to seal victory. You kick the perfect shot, it’s low and powerful, bottom right corner, when the ball hits a mole hill. Mud goes everywhere, into the goal, but the ball just rolls off to the side. Again - game over.

When you’re nine years old and you miss that goal, it’s like the end of the world. The hopes of the nation are on your shoulders as you run back and forth in the back garden, but then those mole hills get in the way. Heartbreaking.

Not only does having a mole in your back garden cause your children no end of problems when they’re trying to recreate the world cup, it’s also really dangerous. Yes, it might cause them to miss the goal and send mud flying everywhere, but they could also trip on a mole hill they haven’t seen and twist an ankle, or even break a leg.

If you have moles in your garden, you need to get in touch with Mr. Mole Man as soon as possible, because if there were a Mole World Cup, England might actually win. Our moles are all like Pele. There’s no stopping them once they’re on the field. They weave in and out of your flowers, dodge your best efforts to tackle them, and pop up here, there and everywhere. They’ll upset your chances of having a nice looking garden, that’s for sure.

Moles are so quick, and once they’re in your garden, you’ve got no hope in chasing them away yourself. And they’re stubborn too. Just when you think you’ve get them covered, they’ll slip away and up pops another mole hill. Once they’re in, you need a professional to get rid of them.

And whilst Mr. Mole Man might not be a professional footballer, he’s certainly a professional mole catcher. Give him a ring, and he’ll be there in no time at all, to save the day, and get that football match the ending it deserves.