Praying it gets better

Hi

DS is 8weeks old , at night, he is the best sleeper, can sleep from 3-5 hrs, so i am getting app 6 hrs sleep (broken though) a night,i know i should not compain as there are girls in my mothers group getting a lot less

During the day, he just wont sleep in his cot, i sometimes have to sit there next to him rocking him in his cot and trying to get a dummy in, sometimes it can take an hr, then he is crying as he is hungry, i am breast feeding...

I look for all the tired signs, and act upon immed, jerking movements, yawning, back arching, i know them all, but stil he screams, think he likes to be up with us, but then he becomes over tired

He has reflux and is on zantac, and i have lifted the mattress up on the cot

I have rung hubby tonight in tears, i was home alone and bubs just screamed and screamed as i was trying to settle him, i felt so bad calling DH whilst he was out, but i felt so sad as i couldnt settle him.. i know many feel like this.. i just wish babies new how to settle themselves, will they ever be able to.....

Firstly Maggie, don't feel guilty about calling DH, I am sure he doesn't mind either. This is a new experience for both of you and it definately does get better. Sounds like you are doing a great job with your DS. Does he like being wrapped? Reflux babies can take a little while to settle, maybe just wrap him, put him in his cot and see what happens. If he still cries, maybe just sit with him and pat him gently to sleep, maybe have some quiet music on or the radio (my daughter listens to talkback radio, all the chatting puts her to sleep!!). What about giving him a bath, breastfeed then try him to bed. Try anything and everything and see what works, as some will be better than others.

You have plenty of support here and always remember you are doing a great job

I totally understand! Our little fella won't sleep during the day and just wants to be held/rocked/whatever...it's as if he just doesn't want to miss out. I too know all the tired signs and no matter how tired (or over tired unfortunately) he is, he just won't sleep. We also get around 6 hours sleep a night in two 3 hour patches but that doesn't help when during the day when I'm home alone and he won't sleep (I lie, occassionally he sleeps for a 20 or 30 minute patch).

Anyway, I have no idea how to make it better (we've seen doctors, nurses, videos, books etc) but I want to let you know that you're not alone... I am also hoping something will change soon.

Same thing is happening here. Charlie is just over 4 weeks old and since birth all he does is either feed or cry, with very little sleep in between. We've had 2 nights where he has slept for 5 hours but the rest of the time it's an hour or less with him feeding(im BF) for over an hour each time. Today was a bad day where all he did was cry. He'd cry because he was wet, so i'd change him, he'd settle for maybe 5mins then cry again because he's hungry, so i feed him, he then cries because he has wind, so i burped him but he has trouble bringing it up so he's in pain, so he cries, which gives him more wind. Then he cries because he's over tired. It's just one big vicious cycle! We're going to the doctor next week because i have a feeling he may have silent reflux also. I'm not sure how to make it all better unfortunatly, but i do know how you feel and you're not alone. Hopfully in the next month or so he will get better.

Maggie had reflux as a baby and one of the best things for her was to wear her in sling. It calmed her down, kept her upright so she was not in so much pain and the movement helped lull her to sleep. It also allowed me to get a few things done.

Also, as already suggested, try music. You may have to try a few type to find out what your DS likes. Maggie likes UB40, Robert Miles and Moby. In the early days she would really settle with a massage to Medieval meditative music. If you can't get to a baby massage class see if your local MCHN has a video on it you can borrow or if your local library has one.

I use music with Jesse during the day.. we have one of those fisher price aquarium thingys and the music from that seems to relax him.
But dont be too upset with yourself about not being able to settle him.. although Jesse is a good sleeper at night, there are evenings that neither myself of DH can settle him.. he just crys and crys no matter what we do.. usually in the end we just have to sit with him and let him cry and he ends up talling asleep. I think they refer to this at the Witching Hour or something. So dont worry, just take a deep breath, as youre not alone

Our 3 month old has trouble settling into sleep during the day. We found loud music witha good beat stops him crying immediately and then puts him to sleep. He won't listen to classical lullabies, it has to be U2, REM, etc. And it has to be turned up (I think he likes to feel the beat). We have to sway around with him but it stops him crying. It works everytime he's tired. He only sleeps for short bursts though during the day. The best I can get out of him is a 3 hour sleep (rare) but he has to be lying on me. Mostly its 30 mins - 1 hour here and there. And some days, not much sleep at all. I think it gets easier - so I'm told. Don't feel guilty at all about calling your husband. It's extremely hard to be with a screaming baby for any length of time and sleep deprivation is a known means of torture in some countries. I've definitely lost the plot and just cried all day sometimes due to lack of sleep. I try to take one day at a time and sometimes 1 hour at a time. Make sure you get some time to yourself to regroup - it will do you the world of good.

She will sleep brilliantly overnight - she has a bath, bottle and then bed (around 7pm lights out) and she only wakes once overnight for a feed, and goes straight back to sleep until around 7 am (sometimes later!)

Up until around 8w, Ruby slept well during the day also, but these past couple of weeks have been particularly foul during the day! The past two days, she has slept for a grand total of 1 hour on each day (broken up in as little as 5 or 10 minute lots can you believe as this is all I can get out of her). The two days before that though, she slept wonderfully well and it led me into a false sense of security thinking that the difficult week we'd had before that had passed! Not so!! LOL

I'm finding it particularly hard work as I have a very active 2 y.o as well and Ruby is tired after being awake for 1.5 hours - I can get her to sleep easy enough, but getting her to stay asleep is another issue. If she were awake all day and happy then I wouldn't have a problem with that, but the fact is that I know my Ruby.....and she IS tired after 1.5 hours awake time and needs sleep, so it's currently creating a vicious cycle where she gets over-tired and I'm finding myself having to carry her most of the day, which with a bad back, is not doing me any good.

I'm hoping that it is just a stage and will pass! I'm sure it will, it is just very draining ATM.

Even though Harry is 18 months old now, i remember (vividly) how he slept when he was little. I would be lucky to get 20 mins out of him during the day (he would probably do this 3 times a day) and then he would wake every hour in the night - very hard work! But something magical happened around the 12 week mark - i really started to tune into his tired signs and he slept for 40 minutes - then 1 whole hour!! Then he was only waking for one feed in the night. Bliss!! Then at 6 months he started to sleep through and has ever since. He also sleeps for at least 2 hours for his day time sleep now (he only has one sleep). So I guess in my long winded way, I am trying to say - don't give up! As they get older they get better at going to sleep and you will also get to know them. Good Luck!

....same here....need I say more...Rylee hates going to sleep during the day, and it takes alot of screaming & settling before I can get 45 mins out of here...this has driven me to tears on a number of occastions (literally) so between the two of us it isn't a pretty sight...I too am hoping & praying it will get better ...soon When your alone in a house with a screaming baby it ain't much fun - good on you for calling DH!!

We have been having a similar problem with day sleeps here because things have been a bit chaotic, we've been in and out of the house alot and DS just gets overtired with everything going on.

A few days ago I put my foot down and decided no more going out for at least a week until I get this sorted. I don't let him stay up for more than 1.5 hours during the day. After that he just gets overtired so I'm working on arranging everything so he is back down no later than that. So far it's working and I've had no problems with him at all today, he's going down really well.

While tired signs are important, often by the time they start exhibiting them it's too late. Try to start getting him down before they start and see if that works any better. Good luck it's hard work huh?