Video: And Now, Morgan Freeman on Twerking

It was only a matter of time before a cable-news producer thrust two pages of twerking-related copy into Morgan Freeman’s hands, rolled the camera, and watched as Freeman—so disinterested that his face could not even register mild confusion—explained the Miley Cyrus–endorsed, hip-thrusting dance movement for the Internet’s selfish pleasure. Lured into the HLN Studio this morning presumably under the pretense that it would be a good place for a nap, Freeman dutifully read anchor Robin Meade’s script, calmly alerting viewers that the Oxford Dictionary has inducted the words “twerking” and “selfie” into its once discerning pages. (And signaling to any of the country’s enemies that if there was ever a time to overtake America and put it out of its cultural misery, it is now.)

Freeman also read aloud the twerking definition: “To dance to popular music in a sexually provocative manner involving thrusting hip movements and a low-squatting stance.” After claiming to be hearing the word for the first time ever, and fulfilling his end of the twerking-news-segment-for-a-nap bargain, we can only assume that Freeman curled up underneath Meade’s desk and fell asleep.