Doug Barry

This photo-morph video of Lindsay Lohan's ever-changing mien should serve as a cautionary tale to all would-be child actors and their exploitative parents: life happens pretty fast in show business. It seems as if Lindsay has gone through every conceivable transformation over her 22-year career, a span of time during which we watched her grow from two freckle-faced matchmakers in The Parent Trap into a singularly troubled young woman with an unshakable booze habit. There's only one transition left for her to make — she has to become the top-billed star of her very own tentpole drama on a major cable network. Maybe something called Alice Redux where she plays a formerly successful child actress who gets deep into the rabbit hole of the L.A. club scene, only the clubs aren't really clubs — they're portals to strange dimensions with wacky tea parties, a perpetually tardy rabbit, and a totalitarian queen who puts Lindsay on probation cleaning horse stalls and collecting all the flamingo croquet mallets.