Monday, December 10, 2012

On Sunday, Mexican singing star Jenni Rivera and six others were killed when their Learjet crashed in rugged territory following a concert in Monterrey, Mexico. Here are other notable musicians who lost their lives in air crashes:

Dec. 15, 1944: Glenn Miller, the trombonist and leader of a hugely popular dance band, was killed when his plane disappeared between England and Paris while Miller was entertaining troops.

_ March 5, 1963: Country singer Patsy Cline, whose hits included "Crazy" and "She's Got You," and fellow singers Cowboy Copas and Hawkshaw Hawkins died in a plane crash near Camden, Tenn.

_ July 31, 1964: Jim Reeves, a country balladeer known for "Four Walls" and "Welcome to My World," was killed in the crash of a small plane in Nashville, Tenn.

_ Dec. 10, 1967: Soul singer Otis Redding died when his plane crashed into a lake near Madison, Wis.

_ Sept. 20, 1973: Singer Jim Croce, known for hits such as "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown," was killed in a plane crash near Natchitoches, La.

_ Oct. 21, 1977: Lead singer Ronnie Van Zant and guitarist Stevie Gaines of the rock band Lynyrd Skynyrd died in a plane crash in McComb, Miss.

_ March 19, 1982: Randall "Randy" Rhoads, lead guitarist in rock star Ozzy Osbourne's band, along with two others, were killed when their Beechcraft Bonanza allegedly flew too low while "buzzing" a band van on tour in Leesburg, Fla.

_ March 21, 1987: Dean Paul Martin, former member of the 1960s band Dino, Desi and Billy and son of entertainer of Dean Martin, was killed with his co-pilot. The two, flying an F-4 phantom, were members of the California Air National Guard.

_ Aug. 27, 1990: Blues guitarist Stevie Ray Vaughan died when his helicopter crashed into a hill in East Troy, Wis., after departing from a concert.

_ Oct. 25, 1991: Bill Graham, who built an empire promoting concerts as rock `n' roll turned psychedelic in the 1960s with groups including Jefferson Airplane, the Grateful Dead and Santana, was killed in a helicopter crash near Vallejo, Calif.

_ Oct. 12, 1997: John Denver, 1970s superstar with hits like "Take Me Home, Country Roads," died in the crash of his experimental plane off the California coast.

_ Aug. 25, 2001: Actress and R&B singer Aaliyah was killed in a plane crash in the Bahamas along with eight others. The twin-engine Cessna went down shortly after takeoff.

_ Nov. 24, 2001: Melanie Thornton, half of the pop duo La Bouche, which had `1990s hits such as "Be My Lover" and "Sweet Dreams," died in an airline crash in Switzerland.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Why do supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?

Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke?Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters?Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage?EVER WONDER ...Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?

Why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff??

Friday, November 9, 2012

In the first quarter of their 51-20 win over the Tennessee Titans, the Bears scored a touchdown on a blocked punt, an interception, a running play and a passing play. That was the first time in NFL history that had happened. The Bears also have seven interception returns for touchdowns through eight games, which is also an NFL first. This defense is pretty special, folks.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Somehow, I have come to be the guy that falls. I never used to be that guy, but over the
years, I have evolved. Most recently, I
was walking from my car to work, and somehow, I fell. Right out of the blue. I didn't trip, try to jump, or slip. I fell.
I did step funny on my foot somehow, and twisted my ankle. Instincts kicked in, so as not to do more
damage to the ankle, down I went. Like a
sack of wet cement. Now I didn't stay
down, because I was embarrassed, and I thought bouncing up quickly was the best
action to avoid people worrying that I was hurt. To my surprise, no one was around. I didn't realize how badly I had twisted the ankle
until the next morning, when I had trouble walking

.

Example # 2 comes at a Church activity. This was pretty embarrassing. We had gone to the function with the kids and
were working our way around different stations, each with a different activity.
The outside activity was designed to be harmless. Clearly, the activity people didn’t think of
me. The activity? Spitting watermelon seeds. Now, you wonder, how does anyone fall
spitting watermelon seeds? The people in charge were marking the top seeds that
had traveled the farthest. My first
attempt, with moderate effort, only missed the best spit by about a foot. I figured with a little effort, I could beat
the record. So, I took the seed, inhaled
deeply, took a couple of steps to get a good start, and when I planted my foot,
manages to catch my shoe on the ground and tumbled forward. Now if you know me, tumbled is not really
accurate. I staggered and fell. Like a sack of wet cement. My wife, usually understanding, didn't stick
around to make sure I was OK. She has
seen me fall all too often. She just
turned and walked back into the building.

Example # 3 was years ago, but worth mentioning. We were playing a softball game and I was on
first base (Yes I managed to hit the ball to get on). The guy who hit after me hit the ball to the outfield
and managed to get it buy the fielder. I
ran to second base and saw the fielder miss the ball, so I rounded the base and
headed to third. Then it happened. As I rounded 2nd base, I somehow
managed to stumble. I tried with all my
might to regain my balance, to no luck.
I made the decision to tuck and roll, end the fall, and head back to 2nd
base. I got up, ran back and slid into the
base trying to avoid the tag out. To my
surprise, the guy who had hit the ball had glided into second base with a
double. One of us was going to be
out. I did the right thing and ran off
the field, with everyone on the field, in the dugout, and in the stands,
laughing. Yes I had slid into short. A story that is still remembered like it was
yesterday.

So, the next time you see me, remember all the painful
falls I have had, and do your best not to laugh. Or at least hold it in until I am gone.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

So God saw it was good.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"

And God, again saw it was good.

On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty, and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed it was good.

On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family… For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service. If you are looking for me I will be on the front porch.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

An Obituary printed in the London Times - Interesting and sadly rather true.

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;

- Why the early bird gets the worm;

- Life isn't always fair;

- and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

He declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Friday, May 4, 2012

Here is what we were given. Tasha went online and picked her favorite template for the body.

I was able to cut out the body using the band saw.

Tasha did most of the sanding using a palm sander and a sanding block.She got help from her Mom in picking the color and painted it all by her self.

Here is a shot of her polishing the axles to make her car faster. We got this idea online and she was able to this once I set it up.

She attached all the stickers and hand painted the windows. Next, she sprayed several clear coats of varnish to make it shiny and fast. The clear coat also helped keep the stickers on.

Here is the final car after the wheels are attached! On the other side of the car is a sticker that says princess. It was fun to help and guide her, but Tasha did most of the work and did an awesome job! Wish us luck in the race tonight!

Monday, April 23, 2012

On July 10th, 1985, executives of this American company announced that they were returning to their original product, only 3 months after introducing the reinvented product. This was such an important announcement that ABC News'Peter Jenningsinterrupted General Hospital to share the news with viewers. On the floor of the U.S Senate, David Pryor called the reintroduction "a meaningful moment in U.S.history".

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

According to Harold Ramis, on the Groundhog Day DVD commentary, Bill Murray spent 10 years trapped in his own little corner of hell... Punxsutawney (I kid Tawney, I'm sure you're lovely). But this seems like an arbitrary number. We can do better than that.

There are, at least, 36 separate days shown in the movie including his multiple death scenes. There could be more, but it's hard to verify if some moments are simply later in the same day or an entirely different day. Additionally, in the scene where Bill Murray revealed he's a god, he stated, “I have been stabbed, shot, poisoned, frozen, hung, electrocuted, and burned.” Of those the movie only showed electrocution, so that brings it to a base line of 42 accountable days. However, there were many days not shown. We know from the scene when Billy Murray and Andy MacDowell are throwing playing cards into a top hat that it would take, “Six months. Four to five hours a day, and you'd be an expert.” So, we have a bare minimum of six months.

Follow up:

In the first half of the movie, the only other truly time consuming event was the the robbery. Let's give him at least a month to plan a proper bank robbery and memorize when wind gusts. This brings us to roughly 256 days by the time he decides he wants to be a better man. However, becoming a better man is the most time consuming part of Phil's journey! He needs to become an expert pianist, an ice sculptor, and learns French. The tough part about this is that is that no one learns these things at the same rate. He could be a very old piano wunderkind after all. Or it could take him 600 years to become a decent ice sculptor. For the sake of argument let's say it takes an average person 3 years to learn to play the piano. It also would take an average person 3 years to become a professional ice sculptor. However, we don't know how good Phil was at either... maybe, he just learned one song, or just how to sculpt Andy MacDowell's face. But for the sake of argument, let's say three years apiece. And he cannot do both at the same time because an ice sculpture is 8 hours of work, and he only has a small window each day to get a piano lesson. Learning French which is also subjective. It's safe to say it would take him, at least, 2 years to learn enough French to read French poetry.

Which puts us at the grand total of 3176 repeated Groundhog days, or 453 weeks, or 105 months, or8.7 years. Precisely, 8 years, 8 months, and 16 days. So, in the end Harold Ramis was right.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

I get to work this morning, make as couple of calls, get settled, and decide to buy a soda. I go into the break room, put my dollar bill into the machine, and then notice that my selection, diet Mountain Dew, is sold out. A bit perturbed, I select Diet Pepsi. Here is what I got:

Please notice the gold coin. Not only did the machine dispense 3 sodas, it also spit out a $1 gold coin. So, for those keeping score at home: 3 sodas, FREE!

About Me

I should probably start with explaining the "Bill the Great". It was a nickname I aquired at and old job. I had not really thought of it in a long time until I was pondering a blog site name. It is not anything that I take seriously, so please, take it lightly! I grew up in Scottsdale and have lived my entire life in Arizona. I have been married for 16 years and have four children, Billy, Kyra, Tasha, and Payton.