From stuffed-but-starving to nourished and fulfilled

Walking the Talk

The interesting thing about creating, and then watching this video is that I’ve never seen myself walk. I’ve seen other morbidly obese people walk and assumed I looked the same as them. And I do… and I don’t. I expected more of a waddle, but I swang dat booty (duly noted, I cannot pull that off).

It’s easy to see why it hurts to walk. From the bottom to the top:

Feet: an extraordinarily high instep, freakishly wide foot and a semi-constant case of edema in my feet, it’s really hard to find running shoes that fit. I’ve done the best I could here (New Balance 880 v4) and they’re more comfortable than any of the others I tried on, with the added benefit of the ability to visually monitor my progress from space thanks to the insane neon colours.

Thighs/Hips: Not always, but sometimes, I hear (and feel) a solid “thunk” in my hip joint with each step. It doesn’t hurt, but it is unnerving.

Glutes: I assure you, there is an amazing butt in there somewhere – and strong too.

Lower Back: Here’s where it all goes to hell. A hot, achy, level-9 pain radiates from my sacrum (tailbone) to each side on my lower back. I can hear a click come up through my spine with each step. The pain starts within about 30-50 steps and stops almost immediately when I sit down. This is the pain that keeps me from walking – and probably from discovering when my feet start to hurt. I recently bought an “obesity belt” designed to alleviate some of the pressure on my low back and while a belt may sound like a fashion accessory, I assure you, it’s not. If I’m feeling particularly self confident one of these days, I’ll film the engineering marvel that puppy is – getting it on is…well, it’s hilarious. And also sad.

I wanted to make you all a fancy hi-res movie with music and transitions and fancy effects – but alas, I have a job and- in the parlance of my prairie brethren – I’d rather just “git ‘er done” than be perfect.

The video in this post also stars Crosby (Pooshie), Wylie (The Jooje) and the voice of Jason (Kettlekins). Warning: if I love you, I WILL give you a nickname.

Ok, once again, you have done something I would never have the courage to do. See what I look like from behind when I walk. There was a time when the thought of seeing myself walk from the rear view would make me nauseous! Actually these days, I dont really care what I look like when I walk, as long as I have the ABILITY to walk. One thing; I hope you have had a complete physical check up before starting to get a little more active. It would be wise to make sure that all the physical symptoms are nothing more than the unfortunate side effects of being over weight, and not something else. Gawd forbid, you dont want to derail yourself by aggravating a pre-existing condition that has not been dealt with. That being said, knowledge is power. Even if you discover some issues, there are always ways to work around them, and still move your body. (Geez, I wish I knew me 30 years ago…I would have saved myself a lot of unneccessary pain) – yours with love, the former Ms. All or Nothing

Camie, my name is Heather. I would like to thank you for your courage. I feel like you are speaking for so many of us! I’m now 59 and am having more and more medical problem due to my weight. My Doctor is insisting that I exercise so seeing your video was inspiring, I too have trouble getting my shoes done up but I’m going to try to get something on my feet and move my today. I look forward to your next blog post. My BFF Lesley is also a great fan of yours and we are both in awe of your spirit! Wishing you a peaceful day.Hugs,Heather

Heather!! I can’t tell you how humbling this is for me. Thank you for taking the time to write. I want to fill you in on what happened after this video ends. I walk to the end of the block, turn around, and come back again and rest a bit before climbing the stairs to my door. The next day, same thing. The day after…I took the next few steps to the back alley and came down that way adding another 50 meters or so to the walk. This is where I am today. If getting your shoes on is all you can do today, it’s better than you did yesterday! No need to train for the Olympics just now – all-or-nothing thinking has gotten me into a lot of trouble over the years! I’m with you, Heather! Keep me posted ❤