Archive for the ‘friendship’ Category

Yesterday, I saw several pictures on Facebook posted by my youngest brother. He was looking for photos that he could make into a video as a tribute to Dad’s 97th birthday on January 16. Yes, if he were alive today, he will be turning 97.

He saw some photos of us and his godfather, our family friend Mama Julian and he posted them. That began our long conversation and exchange of comments, reminiscing about the past and those days we were growing up. Mama Julian was our neighbor and dad’s best friend. His children who are now living abroad noticed his post and they also joined in our chats.

Dad is the one in white shirt. This was taken almost fifteen years ago, April 2004 if I am not mistaken.

We reminisced on how they spent their days when we were in high school. Dad played the guitar and Mama Julian with his ukulele. They would compose music together and play to us kids. We talked about those days when they would play cards together with mom and Nana Mina (his wife) called Entre 7. We remember those days when in every fiesta in our place in the province, both of them would always act as emcees of the night’s programs. There was really no dull moment when they were around together.

One of Mama Julian’s daughters said that she would copy all those photos and would show them to him being sure that he would be glad to see them. He is also in his nineties now and living in Brisbane with some members of the family. Dad and Nana Mina are now with the Lord.

It is nice to get in touch with friends and neighbors again after so many years. Back then, when we were growing up, they were like our extended family. Most of them including my brother are now living abroad and have their own families. One daughter is married to my first cousin.

This is actually a re-blog. Something I wrote when I was just starting to blog here. I love the idea of what real friendship brings. I don’t think we really need a test when it comes to real friendship.

Friendship goes a long, long way though, you would somehow feel, deep in your heart if a friend is real or not. You may lose touch, going separate ways and alleys, embarking on separate journeys, but distance is not a hindrance. That first hello may end up with a goodbye, too soon. That first smile might be replaced by tears but it is always at the instance of meeting again that erases all the tears and the longing, and you feel as if you’ve never been separated after all. You might have grown older, matured enough to face life’s challenges but the essence of friendship remains, because it is as timeless as your memories and as precious as your own.

The actual words are not mine, they were just shared by a friend.

Real Friend Test

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.

A simple friend has never seen you cry. A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears..

A simple friend doesn’t know your parents’ first names. A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party. A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after they’ve gone to bed. A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems. A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real friend could blackmail you with it.

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument. A real friend calls you after you had a fight.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for them. A real friend expects to always be there for you!

You’ve heard of it before more particularly with this app so popular on Facebook where they remind you of the date you’ve been friends with people in your contact list.

But what exactly is the term”friendversary?” It is a slang word which is a combination of friendship and anniversary. Just like what BFF means to some people, best friends forever. It simply means friendship anniversary. I don’t really mind it when Facebook posts those reminders. I have been friends with some people in my contact list for so long even before Facebook was created.

For more than four decades now, I’ve been friends with three ladies whom I met at the UST Main Library. We were all student librarians before and were assigned at the same section of the library which was the Humanities. Thea is now a professed nun, a Franciscan working for the welfare of the Mangyans in Mindoro province. Precy is a successful businesswoman while Grace migrated to Canada and married a Canadian. We don’t often see each other now but we still get in touch. Precy, Thea and I are all cancer survivors.

What makes that friendship so special? Some say that the friendship you formed earlier in life is more enduring and more lasting. You have experienced things together during your younger years. You have shared a lot and it doesn’t really matter that you don’t get to see one another as often as you want. There is that bond that you cannot just erase. That kind of friendship that when you see each other, it seems that nothing has changed, you pick up where you left before. You have made them part of your family. You can grow separately without growing apart.

I always love these words from Henri Nouwen. This is what real friendship means.

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”

For the first time in more than a week, I was able to do a little gardening. Just planted the kadyos seeds which was sent by a fellow member of our Gardener’s Tambayan. I have lots more to plant. Maybe tomorrow I could garden some more. The calamansi fruits are ready for harvest, some of them have already ripened and they don’t produce so much juice when they are ripe.

Done going to the doctor, no change sad to say. Another round of medications for two weeks more. I have to go the the hospital for a few hours so they could observe if I become allergic to the new medicine my doctor gave me. Thank God it is okay. Stubborn infection 😦

I saw Carla on duty again this morning. I told her I blogged about her and she said thank you. She embraced me with that wide smile on her face. That feeling of finding a new friend…super happy. As they say, there is always a room in the heart for one more friend.

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It's been some years since I started this blog. Supposedly, it was only to share my plight as a cancer patient and survivor but over the years it has somehow evolved into something personal about my life and my family.
So really glad to have met you all wonderful people out there. Someone commented once that he liked the title of this blog, Dreams and Escapes. Dream on, there are more things in life than we really think. Be happy, you only live once. Sometimes you also need an escape from the vicissitudes of life and this blog helps me cope. Welcome. Feel free to leave your comments, I do welcome them.

This is just my 89th post after three years of blogging. But I have always been updated with my main blog. You can find the link here on the right corner of the blog. I’ve recently took shots of our garden blooms. Summer is here and more blooms could be seen. […]

I have a whole album of quotes that I made into memes. Some are passages from the Bible, some are words from famous people. This is one of them. Gosh, it took me so long to update this blog but I regularly post in my main blog, Dreams and Escapes. Good morning everyone 🙂

I want first of all, to be at peace with myself. I want a singleness of eye, a purity of intention, a central core to my life that will enable me to carry out….obligations and activities as well as I can. I want in fact – to borrow from the language of the Saints – […]

I love mums in all its different colors. It’s one thing that I once attempted to grow in my garden but it didn’t survive. It is a hardy flower though and need full sun and well-draining soil. I actually bought this cluster in a pot and it was expensive but it didn’t last long. My […]

Oh my goodness, I was busy keeping my main site updated that I clearly forgot to visit this blog for quite a while. Shame on me. I miss those times we used to go on road trips and discover places. I miss those days just driving around and seeing those beautiful and lovely views of […]

These flowers used to be permanent fixtures in my small garden. I had the lone shrub for years and it produces such lovely white flowers every year. Some months ago, the leaves slowly turned yellow then they dried up to brittle brown ones. This afternoon, my son and I decided to finally put it […]