Follow my lead? Not this natural born leader #uhhsure. While the conversation went well with my in-laws (I think; smile mom!) I was a little anxious because who’s interested in being a follower? Squinched face.

If you’re human – then you add husband/wife and mother/father—you’re constantly leading in some shape, form, or fashion. Leading what’s for dinner, leading homework, leading at work to get that promotion, leading your family and friends down a better path, and finally leading yourself up to bed at the end of an exhausting day. Always leading.

When was the last time you actually followed someone? And why did you decide it was OK? You know you’ve been told otherwise.

From the time we enter the world to landing that first job and beyond, we’re supposed to L-E-A-D. “Be a leader”, “make sure you show leadership,” or “lead like a champ” have been ingrained into our hearts and heads forever.

But what if I don’t feel like leading? Can I sit down and follow? Yes, but with good reason and trust. And it doesn’t mean your leadership card gets snatched away.

When you trust a person enough to follow, you’re setting aside your own beliefs and motives by allowing them to take over as pilot as you co-pilot. It’s perfectly fine in personal relationships, i.e. marriage, and professional relationships.

Yes, I gave side eye when I was told “follow my lead,” but knew my husband wasn’t going to lead me astray. I trust him.

And finally, as my mother-in-law has told me “following based on trust, love, and example is the only way to go.” I’ll leave that right there.

In celebration of Father’s Day, I wanted to say thank you to all fathers that go beyond the call of duty.

I especially want to thank my father who has been there during those important moments and someone I look to for advice; my father-in-law who has always welcomed my thoughts and feelings with open arms; and my husband who continues to be my hero and my rock.

Here are a couple of quotes that speak to what a father is in so many different ways (source: LA Daily News).

“It is a wise father that knows his own child.”

— William Shakespeare

Anyone who tells you fatherhood is the greatest thing that can happen to you, they are understating it.”

— Mike Myers

“One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.”

— George Herbert

“This is the price you pay for having a great father. You get the wonder, the joy, the tender moments – and you get the tears at the end, too.”

— Harlan Coben

“It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father.”

— Pope John XXIII

“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.”

— Jim Valvano

“Father’s Day is hopefully a time when the culture says, ‘This is our moment to look at who our men and boys are.’”

— Michael Gurian

“I decided in my life that I would do nothing that did not reflect positively on my father’s life.”

— Sidney Poitier

“Real fatherhood means love and commitment and sacrifice and a willingness to share responsibility and not walking away from one’s children.”

— William Bennett

“Fatherhood is a very natural thing; it’s not something that shakes up my life but rather it enriches it.”

— Andrea Bocelli

“My father used to say that it’s never too late to do anything you wanted to do. And he said, ‘You never know what you can accomplish until you try.’”

A friend is like a star that twinkles and glows; Or maybe like the ocean that gently flows; A friend is like gold that you should treasure; And take care of forever and ever.

– Ashley Campbell

Ever really miss your girls? Of course you do and I miss mine often considering I live a good distance from most of them. Thankfully, I had the opportunity to see them tonight – live and in full effect!

As you know, we live in Atlanta and the squad is in the DMV – as in Washington, D.C., Maryland, and Virginia. When I attended Howard University– shout out to the Bison family-I met some really good friends and love that we still keep in touch after 20 years. Wait, did I just age myself?

When my husband and I decided to move to Atlanta, it took me a moment to accept there would be no more drinks at Ozios, The Meeting Place, or dinner at some restaurant we all wanted to try. And then all the other antics that bonded us even closer – ups and downs, major accomplishments, relationships, marriages, kids…you get the picture. We have done a lot together and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I’m blessed to be among women who truly inspire me. I love how we all come from different walks of life and stay true to each other. I also love how we can pick up a conversation from years ago and carry on like we just talked yesterday or have a conversation across the room and not say a word #thelooks.

True friends are there from the beginning to the end no matter what. They will never judge, will ALWAYS be there, and when you cry, they cry.

So on this evening as I have a cocktail with them, I’m reminded to value each and every one…where my girls at? Right here!

Hello there! We are taking it back to December when I was excited about an opportunity that didn’t happen. But now I know it was all on God’s timing.

Sometimes we have to be thankful it didn’t happen.

Enjoy!

———

You’re excited to start a new opportunity, you await that special call…and then…or you’ve met a great person, you connect well with them…and then…REJECTION!

Immediately, you show up to the pity party, early, crying the blues to all your family and friends and indulge in making yourself feel bad for yet another failed opportunity, relationship, or situation.

Apparently there are 14 steps to different types of rejection according to wikihow. Who has time for that? I surely don’t and need the recovery to be quick if I can help it. THANKS!

But in all seriousness, rejection is tough. How can we continue to experience it and still keep going? How do we ultimately react? Well, guess what? Surprise, you’re going to be OK.

Too many times we blame ourselves for not getting that job or the relationship/friendship that didn’t work out. Honestly, the first reaction to rejection, at least for me, is the feeling of “darn, what happened” or “how did I mess this up.” Nope, take those words right on back because there’s something on the other side of the rainbow – a pot of gold.

Recently, I was looking forward to an opportunity that didn’t work out. I was hopeful and then the rejection came. First, I sunk and then felt like I let a couple of people down. But, these were the same people that said “well, that was their loss.” I quickly snapped out of it -well, maybe after a day- and moved on.

The next day the rainbow showed up and a past client called me to do some work- the pot of gold was right there.

Once we realize all things will work out for us and not against us, true peace takes place and rejection becomes a redirection. At that moment, when you accept rejection with a different outlook, you realize it wasn’t for you and move on quickly. This is also the revelation.

Everything is not according to the way YOU want the chips to fall. God’s plan is not man’s plan. He actually laughs when we make plans – insert a huge laugh here -pwhahhhahaha- just like that.

There’s always something bigger and better for you. When rejection comes your way and stands in front, step around it, say thank you, and await the next opportunity. I promise, it’s coming.

Mother’s Day is Sunday and I’m reminded of the two little men in my life (and the princess) who continue to teach me lessons. This is a post from late last year as I’m always thankful they picked me and celebrate being “mommmmmyyyyy” everyday :o)

As a child, I always wanted two kids- a boy and a girl. plans. Fast forward and we’re in with two boys and a girl – apparently God had other plans.

I’m sure you’ve seen or heard enough about parenting boys -like their awkward bodily functions and the other “fun” stuff. But they also teach some really cool lessons, especially to their moms, and I learned one this week.

As I prepared for my first mother/son dance, I was super excited. Hair done – check. Nails painted-check. Suit and tie -check. We are ready to hit the dance floor.

But in the midst of this first dance mode and doing everything, my kindergartner taught me about accepting help (even when it may not be necessary). For my three-year-old, we’ll just say #workinprogress, but he’s not far behind his brother :o).

“No, I got it,” and “Mommy will do it”(all for that matter) was the response before this post. Then I took a step back, caught my words, and realized what they were doing and what I needed to learn. Accept help even in the simplest form.

I’ve always been independent and took pride it getting the job done without the help of others. However, sometimes this can hinder our progress when we don’t receive the help openly or acknowledge that we even need it.

Our kids constantly see us multitasking. Surely they think we’re crazy so they step in like any other person would. And for boys, it’s even more important they learn the importance of helping and being gentlemen. This is what makes a good husband, father, and friend.

So as we prepare to leave for our mother/son dance, I am looking forward to taking it all in. I remain thankful I truly have a child that helps when he sees it right in front of him. I’m sure as we hit the door, he’ll likely get my keys, open the door, and walk me into the dance… and that’s what it’s all about.

Summer is coming and there will be plenty of family gatherings around the grill, at the pool, or in the park. This week was a lesson in what is most important when it comes to family – love. No matter what happens, they’re still family.

This post is from this past holiday season. I enjoyed it because with all our quirkiness, we always come right back together… because Simon says so :o)

The holidays are around the corner which equals family time. Whether for Thanksgiving or Christmas, let the planning begin . . . with a glass of wine.

This year for Thanksgiving we are diverting from our usual plans and heading to the Blue Ridge Mountains in Georgia. We’re looking forward to a beautiful cabin, wooded scenery, and devouring a festive meal.

Considering that my family is primarily women, you quickly learn to adapt to the personalities:

The matriarchs (the aunts/moms) who pretty much rule the land and the kitchen for that matter. We love them and they love their family. But please don’t cross them . . . or else.

The cousins who pretty much do their thing and keep in contact with one another albeit Facebook or text messaging. When we do call one another, it’s usually to gossip like any other family. Tee hee :o)

The men who keep to themselves and interject when they see the women making absolutely no sense. It happens from time-to-time. Well maybe all the time. LOL.

Last, there are the youngest three munchkins who happen to be my kids. They provide comic relief ALL THE TIME; amusing at most gatherings. Yep, that’s my kid dancing to The Dramatics or Michael Jackson and off beat.

So back to the cabin trip for 13. Easy-peasy right? That’s 13 different personalities. BREATHE. This week, the Gods challenged us but it worked out. Quickly came the teachings, lessons, and a dose of patience:

Every family member has an opinion – don’t take it personal. It wouldn’t be “fun” if everyone was the same, right? Sure.

All budgets are not made equal. Attempt to find a happy money medium and make it work. Count the pennies wisely.

This is not the time to suddenly announce “I’m vegan.” Get in where you fit in. Have a nice salad with that dinner roll.

Someone will complain about something that everyone else agrees upon. No worries, just nip it in the bud and move on.

Acknowledge that you’re family . . . like the same blood line. You’ll have to speak to each other (or maybe not if you choose) so keep your cool. It’s not that serious.

Have answers to all the odd questions beforehand and be prepared to explain yourself a couple of times. Patience luv!

Think before you speak. And then think again. Then give your Alex Trebek answer “What is Crazy Family 2016.”

Take a moment to step back if you get flustered. Then come back to it. Your head will be much clearer. And ask for help when you need it.

Make sure there’s plenty of wine.

Make sure there’s plenty of wine.

But in all honesty, be thankful for family and what they bring to the Thanksgiving or Christmas table. Without them, I’m not sure where I’d be. #MyVillage

This is a repeat of a blog post from about six months. We all go through changes and must remain thankful for the seasons. Enjoy!

_______________

Season: a time characterized by a particular circumstance or feature. This was the most fitting definition for today’s post so thank you Merriam-Webster.

We all have our favorite seasons – winter, spring, summer, or fall. But what about the seasons of life? What happens when it’s not your “season,” and self encouragement dwindles?

Speaking candidly, my current season is not at it’s best. We’ll say I’m in winter but I’d prefer summer. And last week I hit a pivotal moment.

Since having my baby girl in February, I have been a domestic engineer over the last nine months. That means no job that I clock into, but still “working” this thing called life. As I have mentioned before, we have three kids and own two businesses. I’ll let you fill in the blanks.

Quite honestly, it has been tough. This past week I started to feel like I wasn’t making any good strides professionally – as I reenter the workforce- and low self-esteem and lack of self encouragement was turning into self pity and shame.

Then I started to pick on myself. But one of my girls told me quickly “You have tell that (self pity and shame) heffa she gotta go. Kick her right out the door. She ain’t welcome here.”

So I did. I kicked her out the door and welcomed my new friend “you got this.” She’s cute and much nicer.

In most cases, challenging circumstances or seasons don’t last. They tend to pass and make us stronger and wiser anyway.

Now . . . fast forward a week later and my best foot is right in front of me. I have also relearned the importance keeping your head up through the tough times; we’re our biggest cheerleaders and supporters. And more importantly, there’s beauty in every season:

–Winter is cold, but the first dust of snow is quite delightful.

–Spring brings showers, but our days are lighter and brighter.

–Summer is hot, but a sunset is always breathtaking and amazing.

–Fall brings leaves galore, but the colors are bountiful and beautiful.

Sweet home Alabama
Where the skies are so blue
Sweet home Alabama
Lord, I’m coming home to you

So you take a road trip with family and arrive in Birmingham, Alabama where some of your roots began. Approaching the house, you think to yourself “this is really happening.”

As I walk into the living room the history lesson begins. Several pictures of second and third cousins and other family- I can’t keep up. Immediately I am confused, but for a good reason. I was finally learning some of my history.

With the blink of an eye, I hear myself (and other family) in my new found family as they introduce themselves and share stories. From the way they talk and walk to how they think and look; it all comes together and I’m taking it in.

Go back a few decades and the woman and story I’m mesmerized by is Mrs. Julia Bridges. This was my great, great grandmother; she just seemed regal with a no nonsense type of attitude – hmmm, that no nonsense sounds familiar :o).

Julia and her husband were slaves – no surprise here. Mr. Bridges killed his slave owner and that ended the story of these two “living happily ever after.” He had to go into hiding (of course he did), which I imagine happened to several other families during this time. Julia was left by herself with her family but persevered.

I honestly think I would have given up during this time, but now realize where my strength comes from. This story was within my own bloodline. It gets tough out there but this made me really think about what’s unbearable.

The eye opening moment was when I heard my cousin say, “We have been oppressed, depressed, compressed, and redressed. We can handle anything.”

And there you have it. Your history is rich and strong . . . learn it and don’t take it for granted. You can handle it Sun Taylor because Julia Bridges was able to.

We were invited to her house through our dear aunt for an election night watch party. I remember my husband whispering, “are we using the same silverware as Dr. King?” Like kids in a candy story, grins galore. Imagine that.

The night proceeds and Obama wins. Everyone is in utter shock, but fortunately not the same shock we just experienced. Mrs. Abernathy jumps up in excitement and then the tears start to fall.

I will never forget this. I do believe she was thankful all her hard work along with her husband and Dr. King had come to fruition. We had a Black president.

Fast forward into eight years. The lessons from this resilient Illinois senator named Barack Hussein Obama, with his outstanding lawyer wife, Michelle, and their beautiful children began that night in 2008.

As they walked on stage, I remember feeling overwhelmed. Be proud of what your ancestors did no matter what. You are standing on their shoulders and can be anything, even the president of the United States.

And then in 2009, I fully saw the First Lady and what she was capable of as she strut down Pennsylvania Avenue Inauguration Day. Regal. Be thankful for the skin you are in – you have reached new heights as a woman, a Black woman.

Now second term in 2012, it’s the day Obama gave a speech after the Newton shooting in Connecticut. I saw a parent grieving for his own children. Tomorrow is not promised so be thankful for today and love on your children everyday.

Obama at the various White House Correspondent Dinners was the epitome of a “real” president with his humor and prose. Never take yourself too seriously and learn from what others think of you, but stay true to yourself.

And let’s not forget about the fashion. The First Lady is hands down the best ever and never afraid to go for it. Women should always embrace their various shapes and sizes because we can all wear it well from our hips to lips.

Last but not least, the ultimate came when the First Lady spoke about the White House and slavery at the Democratic National Convention. We must always remember where we came from in order to move forward and never be afraid to speak truth.

The Obamas will always remain a staple in our history and I am forever changed for the better. Who knows what the future holds but I am always reminded “when they go low, we go high.”

We have all done it to ourselves- took a look in the mirror and was not happy. For me, it’s usually based around failing a fitness goal or not feeling my normal self.

This past weekend I decided to go to TJ Maxx. I was excited because it’s been a while and I wanted to fill a void in my closet. As you all may know, I love accessories but you can’t wear them with the wrong outfit. So me and baby girl headed out the door.

And then it happened. I got to the store and didn’t want to look in the mirror. Now, we all know TJ Maxx has PLENTY of mirrors. In fact, there was one on every aisle. I avoided them all. I went around them, looked away, and finally just got my items and left the store. At that moment I knew I was not myself.

Later that night I was still in a funk. Then the hubby asked what’s wrong. Silence. He asked again. Silence . . . and then tears. Now he was concerned.

I finally said I wasn’t happy about how I looked and while shopping, I didn’t look in the mirror. His response was probably the best I have heard in a while.

“Babe, you JUST had a baby 7 months ago.” He also mentioned I was older now and that our bodies don’t bounce back like they used to…uhh insert record scratching sound effect here. Anyway, he was right. I was being too hard on myself.

We all tend to be this way when it comes to our goals. If we don’t meet them, or it doesn’t look good, we beat ourselves up. Stop doing that. When you do your best, that’s what matters most.

Thankfully these past two weeks, I’ve started exercising again- for real this time – and watching the diet. However, when you invest in yourself, it takes time; be patient.

After the conversation, I got myself together, prayed, and kept it moving- literally. I think I needed to hear those words and I’m thankful he realized it. I’ve done the weight loss thing before post baby and came out shinning.

So let me put on these shades, do my thing to lose the extra pounds, look in the mirror, and be thankful for who I am.