Friday, February 11, 2011

Lenzie’s Tips for a Successful Marriage

Happy Friday Readers! As my Guest Blogger is taking FOREVER to finish his/her post, I thought I would offer some practical advice about Marriage. You may be asking what makes me an expert on marriage. Well let me inform you that I am not an expert on Marriage. I truly doubt anyone can be. What I can say are my attributes that make me a faux-expert are definitely legit. Jacob & I had dated for 6 years before we got married and we have been married for almost 6 years. That is 12 years with the same person. Now, don’t get me wrong, twelve years over the course of 50 seems like an insignificant amount of time, however I just like giving advice so here it goes.

There are no two marriages alike. I know others who view mine and Jacob’s relationship and think “How do you guys do it?” The same goes for other relationships that we view and say, “There is no way we could make that work!” The point is to find what works for you both and not worry about what others say. That being stated, let’s begin!

Lenzie’s Tips and Tricks for a Successful Marriage

1.The most IMPORTANT part needed in order to spend the next 50ish years together is to make sure you like each other. This may sound silly, but you would be surprised at the amount of people who will jump into a relationship and more importantly a marriage based solely on physical attraction. Don’t get me wrong, physical attraction is important too, but it will fade unless you are prepared to spend a LOT of money on plastic surgery throughout the years. It basically boils down to this: If your potential spouse is annoying and ignorant, but HOT. Cut your losses and move on. The annoyances and ignorance will become more pronounced once the hotness stops drowning it out. . .

Judge Judy writes a riveting biography/ self-help book explaining this very point.

2.You and your potential spouse must share the same basic life plan. I am not referring to what color you think would go best in the living room or whether you are a recliner fan or not. I am talking about Make or Break things like Kids. . . Oh the mother of all married couples dilemmas. To have kids or to not have kids. That is the question. This a major issue. If one of you wants kids, but the other does not want children, I am afraid there is no substitute for this predicament. A puppy will not cut it for the one that wants children (Side Note: If that person would meet precious Milo, they might think otherwise, haha) and once you have children there is no going back. If you can’t come to a united decision on this front my advice for you would be to “Make like a baby and head out first. . .”

Milo is just so precious! He loves work days with mom!

3.As a married couple you are required to be pleasant to your spouse’s family. This is only applied to immediate family (Parents & Siblings) as there are probably people in your own extended family that you would prefer to disown. Please note that you should still remain calm and tactful upon spending time with extended family as to avoid a Jerry Springer style brawl. As entertaining as that may sound to some of you, trust me, NO one looks classy with a black eye. Sometimes you must bite your tongue and endure the remaining time. (Side Note: Alcohol will help lessen the sting while at family get togethers. If there is no way to excuse yourself from the situation then purchase a flask like this one from LiquidCourage.) If you or your potential mate can not get along with each other’s families then that may be a sign that you aren’t “meant” to be together. One exception to this would be if you do not get along with your own family, then your spouse is not expected to either.

Super cute flask from LiquidCourage: $18.59.

Making it through another family reunion without killing yourself: Priceless

4.My last nugget of advice for couples to ensure a long and happy marriage is to have separate bank accounts. Sure, when you get married you should share EVERYTHING. Well I have to disagree. I refuse to share my drinks and my bank account. This is not stemming from not wanting to share money. Let’s face it, Jacob is clearly the breadwinner in our family, but he is not so good at keeping his checkbook balanced. He never writes things down and I write everything down. This is not for a fear of over drafting, but more so because I like things to be kept orderly and have a slight case of OCD. I also suffer from a mild shopping addiction and in an effort to evade arguments; it is safer if Jacob doesn’t know exactly what I spend. Trust me; sometimes it is better for your spouse to be lovingly withheld from some details. (Side Note: This does not include any instances other than spending small to moderate amounts of money and in the chance that you have a legit gambling problem, this information should not be withheld from your spouse.) If you fear that you or your spouse is suffering from an actual shopping addiction please click here for more information.

I hope these tips will help you all become better spouse or even if it saves you from making a grave mistake.

Have a great weekend Readers! There WILL be a guest blogger next week! Get excited! There is no telling what will be in that post. . .