The ups, downs of airport dating

In the Spring a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love, as Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote. Or airport layovers. “My heart is like a baggage carousel, let me roll it to you,” Paul McCartney didn’t write. Let’s screen the headlines:

•”This dating site livens up airport layovers”: Gee, exactly when people are looking and feeling their best. Is the idea to get that first argument out of the way? No, say the creators of ETurbulence Dating at The Airport, which announced the upcoming inaugural activities: Shoe-Removal-Get-to-Know-You Square Dance; Security Line Fandango; Body Scanner Image Swap; and a “Let’s Carry-On” cocktail hour at the TSA Patdown Lounge.

Rather than a list of the “best” and “worst” jobs, CareerCast is enumerating the “most” and “fewest” jobs available. It’s a big difference for people who think of a job as more than a way to make money.

“People who love to write can consider working for online publications or transition to advertising or public relations,” says Tony Lee, publisher, CareerCast.com. “Many jobs in communications offer better hours, greater stability, a work/life balance and a healthier hiring outlook than being a newspaper reporter.”

Because certain jobs are really a passion-fueled vocation, (artists, designers, actors, etc.) it’s doubtful that people who really “love to write” will find any satisfaction “working for online publications or transitioning to advertising or public relations.”

In fact, sentences like that can make people vow to never transition to advertising or public relations.

On the other side of the jobs coin, CareerCast writes, “High pay, low stress, a robust hiring outlook, a healthy work environment and minimal physical exertion combine to make actuary the top job for 2013. Biomedical engineer, software engineer, audiologist and financial planner round out the top five.”

According to Purdue University, (yes, I had to look it up): “An actuary is a business professional who analyzes the financial consequences of risk. Actuaries use mathematics, statistics, and financial theory to study uncertain future events, especially those of concern to insurance and pension programs.”

With all due respect to actual actuaries, really, that’s the best job in the nation?

”Woman, 80, swallows diamond at Fla. charity event”: Hopefully this will put an end to the “diamond in a glass of champagne” trend for engagements and charity events. (In this case, $20, would buy you a flute of champagne and a chance to win a one-carat, $5,000 diamond.)

Coincidentally, the winner and swallower of the diamond, Miriam Tucker, already had a colonoscopy scheduled for Monday, and the gem was retrieved. (That’s the most sparkly, clean colon I’ve ever seen,” Tucker’s gastroenterologist didn’t say.) All’s well that ends well. (And hey, CareerCast, some people were meant to retrieve the diamond, and some were meant to write about it … no ifs, ands, or buts.)