I'm an existential questioner that likes to discuss controversial topics, hang out with my animals, listen to the Joe Rogan Experience, and expand my mind.
Find me @bonniesein on twitter and instagram to see what I get up to outside of this blog.

suck it.

I ate kangaroo for breakfast today at work. Apparently
that’s a big deal. I had about seven people ask me “did you have kangaroo for
breakfast?”

Yes, yes I did. For one thing, I did squats this morning.
And you know what goes excellent with squats? Protein. Of the animal kind.
Secondly, I’m pretty sure I have an iron deficiency due to my consistently
eggplant coloured legs and banged up collar bones. Basically I look like I’ve
fallen down a flight of stairs. Anyway, kangaroo is ridiculously high in iron,
so that means less bruising for me. Also, it is delicious. Check and mate.

I just got back from the CrossFit Regionals in Wollongong.
There was an outrageous number of crossfitters there. Massive quads and poor
shoulder mobility central. There’s
something comforting in being surrounded by a mass amount of people that all
share the same passion as you do. Comforting and kind of culty. But in a good
way. The level of athleticism was insane. Lindsay came 13th in the
women’s individual, which was out of control good. She smashed it. I was so
nervous for her the whole weekend. Before her heats I’d start sweating and need
to do nervous pees. I’m a classic nervous pee-er. That’s not a word. But it is
now. Suck it Mrs Barber. She was my advanced English teacher in year 10 who I’m
pretty sure thought I shouldn’t have been in advanced English. Well look at me
now! But seriously, I find it really hard to explain to people what I do for a
living without laughing. It’s pretty difficult to say, “I’m a blogger” with a
straight face. Is that even real? Blogger isn’t even a word on spell check.
Maybe I’m just hip and new age. Not really. Hip and new age people don’t say
that. I may or may not have created a meme last week with Jordan for work
though.

We did. And it was awesome. But apart from meme making, I’m
a serious writer.

I’m sorry, I just can’t. I try to convince Rob that my job
is demanding, and it is. But it’s also stupidly fun and I get to sit on a
bouncy ball all day and go to crossfit at lunch. I feel like I shouldn’t be
complaining about things, but I’m going to anyway.

the crew at Regionals.

Complaint number one. Whilst driving, you create a gap in
traffic to allow a fellow driver into your lane because you are a courteous and
selfless person. And then the fucker doesn’t wave. Holy shit that makes me lose
my mind. Driving already is a stressful enough event as is. You’re literally in
control of a death machine that could potentially kill as many people as you
want. Then, you have to manoeuvre said death machine around other death machines,
that are driven by people of all skill levels, just to reach your destination
without getting hit. If you were trying to explain the concept of driving to
someone outside of earth, they’d think you were freaking insane. My point is,
when good things happen on the road, it’s nice and makes you feel like things
are kind of okay. When I make an effort to allow someone into my lane, I expect
a wave to know that it hasn’t gone unnoticed. But for the last few weeks, every
time I’ve let someone in, they just act like nothing has happened. Like that
gap in traffic mysteriously opened up for them. Well it freaking didn’t. I
slowed down and made a conscious effort in my driving to allow you in, you
fuck. Jesus. Sometimes I lose faith in humanity and majority of the time it’s
when I’m driving. In conclusion, I hate everybody.

I also hate Monsanto. My faith in humanity was slightly
restored by seeing all those countries protest against them, and how Hungary
burned all their GMO crops. Hungary is badass. Can you imagine if people did
that in the States? They’d be sentenced for 20 years in jail. Along with all
the marijuana dealers. I feel like I’m slowly descending into some sort of
rampage against the corruption of the government. Oh well. Anyway, just so
you’re aware, cannabis is in the ‘Schedule I’ classification of the DEA drug
schedules. Basically the schedules rank the drugs from most harmful to least in
a series of 5 different schedules. Cannabis is in the number one schedule
alongside heroin. HEROIN. Are you serious? How dumb do they think people are?
They spend $10 billion US dollars a year on enforcing that one law. The US has
some serious priority issues. Also, I was just told that Monsanto is in
Australia. Which now means Australia is as bad as the US. FUCK. They’ve been
growing genetically engineered cotton and canola. I wonder what the people are
like who work for that company? I just went on their website. What a load of
bullshit. How awkward for them that there was an international march against
their company. I don’t like having one person not like me let a lone the whole
world. One day people are going to look back on this era and be like “what were
we doing?”. GMO crops, gay marriage being illegal, Justin Bieber. It’s all
going to seem ridiculous.

I was in my car at a red light and was watching this dude
devour a sandwich by the side of the road. After he finished, he just dropped
the wrapper on the ground and walked off. DAFUQ!! I can’t remember the last
time I saw someone litter. It’s depressing. And totally unexpected. I was
outraged. I wanted to yell at him from my car but he looked kind of scary so I
decided to just sit outraged in silence. Isn’t that a weird notion that men are
the number one threat to women? Whereas women, aren’t really the number one
threat to men. Men are the number one threat to men. But yet men are also our
number one companions (traditionally anyway). I find that odd. My desire to
learn a type of fighting style is slowly becoming less inspiring due to the
fact that Rob crushed my dreams by telling me that in the end a guy is going to
be able to overpower me no matter what. That’s another weird thing we do. I
just walk around totally defenceless and I’m okay with that. We’re so weird.
Human beings are weird.

I’ve been crossfitting like a demon lately. I don’t
understand that term “like a demon” but I’m going to use it because I like the
way it sounds. I got Olympic lifting shoes, they’re pretty fancy. They’re
awesome. I’m so much more upright in my lifts. I’m also loving handstand holds
and walks at the moment. I kind of want to do that all day of my life. But my
shoulder has been sore so when I do it I secretly think I shouldn’t because of
my shoulder, but then I do it anyway because I’m an idiot. The problem with
doing a lot of training is that all these weaknesses come up that you normally
wouldn’t really notice if you were just doing an average amount at the gym. But
because I’m in twice a day some days, things start feeling crap. Like my
shoulder. And my back. And my quads. On the upside, I’ve hit new PB’s for all
of my lifts. Booyah. Now I just need to do a muscle up. Just kidding. That’s
going to probably take me months. Luckily for me, I haven’t really got anything
else to do with my time. Is that depressing? I want a dog. If I had a dog I
wouldn’t have time to spare. Because I’d be spending it all rubbing its belly
and giving it cuddles and pats.

new shoes!

I’ve decided I need to budget. I’m not very good at that.
For some reason I have this desire to buy everything ever from lululemon. Then
I wonder where all my money is and remember that I spent it on brightly
coloured hot pants. Totally worth it. See there’s my problem right there.
Sometimes I hide my new purchases from Rob and won’t wear them for a couple of
weeks. But then when he asks “is that new?” I say, “no I bought it a few weeks
ago”, and then he’s like “yeah so it’s new”. Damn it. One time he said to me,
“do you just hide your new stuff and not wear it for a few weeks so I don’t
notice? Because I do notice”.

Awkies… I just re-read those last few lines, I totally sound
like a shopaholic. Like I actually have a problem. On the upside, my closet is
banging with lycra and stretchy stuff.

Rob’s asleep on the couch right now. I should do something
funny to him. But I’m pretty sure it would result in me being on the ground in
a choke hold or arm bar. Curse my lack of defence skills. No one is ever going
to say “I challenge you to a handstand hold!”

Dang it.

My mum told me my brother is coming down to visit from San
Diego soon. That’s awesome news. Too bad the first thing I thought of was
whether he would be able to bring me over some pickles. I’m a terrible person.

P.s. Check out my badass t-shirt I got from Higher Primate. One day I'll meet Joe Rogan. One day.

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about me

I'm Bonnie. A 25 year old Melbourne based writer, listener of the Joe Rogan Experience, lover of adventure, and enjoyer of all things food related. I like to sweat by doing yoga, bjj or crossfit style workouts. But I also like to play computer games for 8 hours straight (because balance). Back in 2012 I broke my neck and started this blog.