Wading through the sea of Print-on-Demand titles, one overpriced paperback at a time--and giving you the buried treasure.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Whines and the Whining Whiners Who . . . oh, never mind.

I want to take a break and pick on my peers for a moment--because they are so pickable.A few folks have asked me if the writers I have communicated with regarding POD/self-pubbing were a bunch of "whining losers because they cannot get published" and I kind of laughed at first, but the truth is very few have been whiners--or even complained at all. The large majority of these PODers, if you will, are wonderful folks with happy hearts and souls full of hope and creativity. I mean, sure, a lot of the PA folks are jaded, but the rest are pretty nice people.My published peers, on the other hand? Also good people, but boy do they know how to whine. They write good books (for the most part) but if they don't sell, it is always someone else's fault. And I'd be lying if I didn't include myself in this category, at least occasionally. Keep in mind that PODers have done it all themselves, from writing the book to editing the book (please pass the salt) to marketing the book. Having other people do some of these things for you apparently just creates misery.In case any of you frustrated Random or Warner authors can't think of someone to blame for your horrible sales, feel free to pull from the resources of my friends.Sources of whinery for the published author:

The cover sucks, in general

The cover sucks because my name is too small

The cover sucks because my name is in some illegible font

The cover sucks because there is not enough breast showing

The cover sucks because it is a *insert book title* knockoff

My editor sucks, in general

My editor didn't bring my writing into focus

My editor is more interested in the success of *insert better-selling author* instead of nurturing my career

My editor has it in for me

My editor has no pull with the publisher

My publisher sucks, in general

My publisher didn't market my title (say this to yourself and/or everyone around you ten times, then spit on the ground)

My publisher couldn't garner reviews

My publisher released my title just after the holidays (why is everyone staring at me?)

The bookstores are stocking my book but only in the designated section, spine out

The bookstores are stocking my book but only in the designated section, cover out

The bookstores are stocking my book but only leaving it on the front table for a few days

The bookstores are not handselling my book

The bookstores will not let me sign copy/ do a live signing

I am a lousy writer. How did I get here?

Most POD folks cannot say these things, and boy am I thankful. The truth is that getting published is not going to solve all your problems. In fact, should you be so blessed, you will likely utter at least 5 - 7 of the items listed above--and they will be true. Just do your part (writing a wonderful book) and let the chips fall where they may. My books have sold fairly well, but I could never live on the income. It's been fun no matter what. The grass isn't much greener in the yard of the published, even if it is better fertilized.

Who I am . . .

About Me

I am an author and instructor, in that order (for now.) My debut novel (which debuted in the midlist) was released by Penguin Putnam in 2004 and my second novel was released early 2006.
As for this blog, it has been profiled in many online magazines, blogs and news stories, including the Washington Post, Entertainment Weekly, the Boston Globe, the Dallas Morning News, the LA Times and Publishers Lunch.

Why am I doing this . . .

The 2006 Needles . . .

The 2005 Needles . . .

Attention POD authors . . .

Attention publicists . . .

To answer the deluge of questions I have been receiving from publicists: I'll review pretty much anything that is good--but it better be good, or I'll never look at another one of your books again. Then I'll hunt you down. Fiction preferred (no fantasy or young adult, go easy on the science fiction.) Non-fiction should be memoir, humor, self-help. Definite no-nos: cookbooks, textbooks, porn, books without verbs. And it must be POD (no small presses.) Otherwise, email with pitch first.