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In less than 12 hours, I will be on the limo to JFK, saying goodbye to nyc once again. I came to nyc by will, left by stress, came back again by miss, now leaving again by obligations.

I don’t know what it is with new york. It makes me want to leave every once in awhile. Or maybe it’s nothing wrong with new york, but me, the me that wants to be at home. Would all this instability go away if I just get my own place? Renting an apartment makes it seem less of a deal of home, but more of a temporary stay. Now I just want to go home.

My room is now pretty much all empty, except some water bottles and boxes and lastly the comforters and pillows. By the time I come back next semester, hopefully it’ll still be the same, and hopefully, I will decorate it to be more like home. That’s the other thing, IKEA furnitures aren’t really furnitures. I need that Crate & Barrel and that queen size bed.

I will watch the new episode of Greek now instead of sleep. Tomorrow I’ll take a shower and make sure EVERYTHING IS PACKED in. This is once when my luggages are still semi-empty. Happy 🙂

i walked around lower east side, the prettier side, for the first time today. had the gelato tiff recommended and took the day as the photography of nyc – the foreign side, which ended up looking a bit spanish.

seriously some of these, if u don’t look closely, they can be mis taken for foreign.

then i got new bags, necklaces, and awaiting my mom to sign over my endless spending habit and ever changing behavior. mr.robs asked if i had a sense of who i am and what i want to do today. i don’t but as always, i know what i don’t want to do. and once again i told mom that ibank is useless for me and i’d rather stay home and have daddy fund me some money rather than working like a slave for 2 years and coming out looking 30ish.

I hope all my friends find the job they want. Hammi and I talked a bit today and dear, I still can see the stressed part of you. I know you’re trying to be happy and take things the way they are, but you gotta try a bit harder and sit down and look at yourself deeply. This is the one thing I learned from my beijing friends, and I want you to take them with you too. Without doing that, even if you let go, you won’t be happy because you’ll still think what you had let go before might had been the best for you. I don’t want to explain too much because you know you can get yourself farther. Just do it, but use heart-felt feelings at the same time. 🙂

Elaine, find a job, give yourself a goal, be open. You’re so capable so stop using your ”finding discipline” talk to rid yourself of the worries right now. It was your choice, to graduate early and face the real world. So get up on your toes about it. The economy is bad can only be an excuse for so long. Get an amazing job and prove yourself! I know you can do it, so why don’t you care more? (or stop pretending like you don’t care 😉 Come back to nyc.

That’s it for today. I realized I made a museum date with Yici, only realizing I might go back to China that day. Life.

A Russian guy left me a msg on my Picassa in Russian! lol. He thanked me in Russian for informing him of the name of the Swiss Re Tower.

Elaine isn’t it funny that you taught me the name of it when this entire time in London we referred to it as the pickle?

Today was my first time going to Century 21. Lol Serena was also there! She was ”waiting” for me at the elevators.

I got a pair of Chloe’s and ALOT other things.

Aren’t they pretty? Too bad most of you won’t see me wearing this really since I’ll be in China for the summer. I really don’t make plans until the last minute these days and it’s a bit unhealthy. Carol believe that this is part of growing up and becoming independent but I do think there’s a case by case scenario. For me, when you weren’t with your parents for 2 years in life (i.e. not seeing my mother for TWO FREAKING YEARS when I was going thru 3,4, and only spending around 10 days in total during 5th, 6th, and 7th grade), when this is the case, I don’t think you’d call me silly really, for wanting to spend as much time with my parents now. There’s alot of things in life, that you just have to make up for eventually.

As much as I see the importance of having an internship in NYC this summer, I see personal freedom and time obligations with family as more important. My grandparents raised me up pretty much, therefore I can’t lay on my bed peacefully thinking they’d be fine not seeing me this summer. I HAVE to go back. So many people in life come and go, but family’s been around for so long I can’t risk losing quality time with them.

Hope now you understand why I always knew Investment Banking is a bad idea for me. Not that I’m not up for the challenges it’d give me, but I’d prefer more of a freestyle life that allows me to fly wherever I need to be at whenever I want to. See? There are reasons behind all of my motives. I have to think alot on these because none of these is easy to be given up for.

An enticing career path, a warming family, a close circle of friends.

I don’t think people can find balance among these. And when I’ve been blessed with not having much of a financial burden, I choose to have the latter two over career success.

So for this summer, goodbye my NYC friends who think I’ll be in NYC. Goodbye people who’s left early who also thought they’d see me in the summer. Surprise surprise my Beijing friends, can’t wait to go to vics mix, tang hui with all of you again!

I do have my next few years planned out as of right now. Though knowing myself well enough now I won’t take those for certain yet.

I have a never-ending love affair with beauty products. It started with lip-gloss purchases, I’d have 15 different kinds in my car. Then eye shadow, brushes, compacts, colors, skincare, hair, body treatments. Anything you can think of, and now even equipments.

This is a costly obsession sure, so I’m going to do that free-marking thing again. I do it on my Chinese facebook to tell people what I use. So I might as well add some more content to my blog.

So recently I’ve been bashing about Clarisonic.

At first I bought the cheaper version without the body brush. Then I liked it way too much so I returned that and bought this one with the body brush included. Now I think about it, I could’ve just sent that one to my mother since she wants one too.

This is simply amazing. I even wrote something about it for Sephora lol. Basically, my occasional pimples started disappearing afterwards. And products absorbed wayyyy better.

To buy: http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P230615&categoryId=C19920

It’s free shipping and gives lots of gifts 😀 And if you don’t like it, just return it to the store. Sephora has the best return policies! So why not.