I’m fine with either, honestly. I agree that my articles are much worse if you click on them.

This reminds me of those movie trailers that manage to cite only a single word from a review (“Extreme” –LA Times) in such a way that you wonder how the word was used in context.

I was as surprised as anyone to discover that I was Real News. Here I thought that I was toiling away in the Dank Cesspool of the Mainstream Media, but all along I was a Trusted News Source, just like Breitbart.com! I just needed to BELIEVE in myself more.

The White House believes in me, and the White House is not full of careless people who skim headlines looking for the ones that sound sort of positive and then send them out in their daily briefing newsletter hoping for the best haaa ha ha nope ha ha these are the minds who control war and peace and the budget and things ha ha ha it’s fine ha ha oh god help.

I honestly thought that, no matter the headline, there was no way that anyone could think this piece was anything other than me yelling at the budget for a number of paragraphs — the last words were “RAW POWER! HARD RAW POWER GRRRRRR HISSS POW!” — but I have always overestimated people’s desire to read things I write. But the White House, as Noel Coward once said of himself, can take any amount of criticism so long as it is unadulterated praise.

This is 2017 in a nutshell: You start with what you think is obviously a joke, and then a few days later it is being sent out from the White House.