“Weeds” mini-cap: Doggie-style

By popular demand, we’re still going to keep you abreast of the many phases of MLP’s moon. In fact, we actually saw her full moon in this week’s Weeds.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

This was my favorite Weeds episode of the season. And not just because of Naked Nancy. “Gentle Puppies” was just plain funny — in that dark and twisty Weeds way.

First, guess who was back for a cameo this week? No, not Linda (dammit). The Botwins’ former attorney and partner in pot, Dean Hodes, had his turn being grilled by the FBI. I kept hoping Celia would be next. But alas, it was not to be. In any case, the FBI has not stopped its search for Nancy — and it seems to be closing in.

After having to let go of the dream of a luxury mobile home last week, the Botwins have RV fever and end up buying one from a minister’s ex-wife. The Praise Wagon comes complete with its former owner’s sex toys and gay Israeli porn — a vital part of his “ministry.”

Nancy, with an eye to hash making, was only interested in the trailer’s washing machine. But Andy and Doug see the opportunity to bring in some sheaves of their own by posing as preachers “with the gift of itinerancy.”

Andy definitely has the gift of bullshit, as he talks his way out of a speeding ticket by telling the cop that “turn the other cheek” means we should “live as gentle puppies, frolicking, softly tumbling against each other.”

I don’t remember that from seminary, but I could live like that — provided I get to choose which puppy I tumble against.

By the time the family moves its RV into Pioneer City, a former movie set that is the preferred trailer park of in-the-know off-the-grid outlaws, Andy and Doug are ready to fleece their flock.

Nancy, meanwhile, finds the town bar and a smoldering bartender, played by Mark-Paul Gosselaar. Straight people have a very strange approach to foreplay.

What follows is sort of like puppies frolicking, if the girl puppy is in heat and the boy puppy is a pit bull. As much as I appreciate seeing Nancy naked, her brand of sex is damn scary. Nothing is gentle about this doggie-style tumbling. And, although I’m sure our AfterElton.com brothers were happy, I really didn’t need to see Zack Morris’ bare butt.

Nancy is happy that she made a new friend — until his not-so-new wife and kids show up in a very loud and public way. Then the pastors’ baptized boy runs out of his trailer high as a kite on meth, screaming “I’m not saved! It’s great!” Even the outlaws have no patience with phony preachers and wanton women, so the Botwins hit the road once again. At least this time, Nancy’s not crying.

What did you think of this Weeds episode? Where do you think the Praise Wagon will land next?