I'll admit it: On Sunday morning, I'll have a hangover. Not because of excessive drinking, though. (There are only so many Mint Juleps you can drink before your breath smells like a tube of Aquafresh.) But because I laughed so hard during Saturday night's installment of Saturday Night Live, there's little chance I don't wake up fielding a brutal stomachache.
But host Zach Galifianakis gave me little choice. Back at SNL for a third time, the host gave us so much, we're left wondering how The Hangover Part II could have gone so wrong. But let's rewind to the episode at hand!
After a Fox &amp; Friends parody that was a bit too familiar to SNL fans — each one is becoming less distinguishable from the last — we finally got to the moment we've been looking forward to this entire week: Galifianakis' monologue, which he had already perfected his first two times on the series. Starting off the show with the same oddball deadpan we fell in love with in Live From the Purple Onion, Galifiankis waxed poetic about charades ("My wife and I once played charades with a couple who was deaf. They were amazing.") and stumping Google ("I once Googled, 'How many candles does Dave Navarro own?' Fourteen thousand."). The opening was so Raven, the perfect antidote to Season 38's subpar monologues, even if it was a bit less daring than a bearded man wearing an Annie costume.
Still, Galifianakis didn't stay out of costume for long, donning a dragon suit for the next sketch, "Game of Game of Thrones." Tapping into the obsessive fan culture for the HBO series (admit it, we're all guilty), the sketch featured the comedian as an enthusiast who knows everything about Westeros, but nothing about the real world. (Among the questions he got in the game show-centric sketch: What is the capital of Wisconsin?) Bonus points go to the sketch for featuring the under-appreciated Aidy Bryant and Game of Thrones star himself, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, who popped by long enough to prove Galifianakis' ignorance about the Supreme Court.
And bonus points go to SNL's Match.com commerical parody for utilizing the also under-appreciated Kate McKinnon as an unlucky-in-love Martha Stewart. Her impression might not have been as on point as her others (hello Ellen DeGeneres!), but who didn't get a giggle hearing Stewart express appreciation for "tiered macaroons" and "the simple elegance of a good bang"? (Though why SNL didn't choose this prime spot to feature its hilarious New Balance add — advertising the shoe brand "worn by chubby white guys" — is beyond me.)
The episode's celebrity cameos didn't end with Coster-Waldau. Galifianakis' Hangover c0-stars Bradley Cooper and Ed Helms showed up for a severely under-rehearsed Jennifer Aniston look-alike sketch, which derived most of its humor from seeing the stars in blonde wigs. It was all worth it, though, to see that Taran Killam can add Rachel Green to his list of celebrity impressions.
Of course, Killam was easily upstaged by Bill Hader, who stopped by Weekend Update as James Carville to talk gun control legislation, his ghost grandma, and drinking sweet tea in Louisiana with Alligator Joe (who's called that "because he's an alligator"). So many of Hader's one-liners were so delicious ("I have nothing against guns. And I'm not just saying that because I look like a bullet"), I'd prefer them any day over a giant bowl of gumbo. Or, at least, I'd prefer them over Fred Armisen's Google Glasses-plagued tech correspondent and Cecily Strong's increasingly overplayed (and never funny) Girl You Wish You Hadn't Started a Conversation With at a Party.
It wasn't long until Galifianakis was back in a costume, this time as a racist, sexist, and homophobic M&amp;M's World employee who expressed his distaste for his diverse staff "often through song." It's easy to imagine the sketch — which featured a good number of jokes that pushed racial boundaries — was a divisive one, but dammit if Galifianakis in a beret didn't make me chuckle.
What didn't make me chuckle initially was "Darrell's House," a bit about a deluded man marking a low-grade talk show in his home. All the elements were there — Galifianakis' patented absurdity, Jon Hamm references — but teasing a Hamm cameo and not delivering was like teasing a delicious Honey Baked Ham and handing us a piece of bologna. But, of course, the bit more than paid off when we watched "Darrell's House" later in the episode as it was meant to be seen, featuring the Mad Men star himself. And, as it turns out, waiting 20 minutes for the joke to pay off was well worth it.
As was Galifianakis' stint on SNL. Is anyone else going to be hurting tomorrow?
More:Zach Galifianakis' Third Time on 'Saturday Night Live' Will Certainly Be a CharmZach Galifianakis Shoots a Porno for 'SNL' Hosting Gig. Nope, Sorry, That's a Promo Kristen Wiig Returns to 'SNL' As Host, Ben Affleck Joins 5-Timers Club
From Our Partners:Nina Dobrev, Julianne Hough Bikini in Miami (Celebuzz)33 Child Stars: Where Are They Now? (Celebuzz)

When we learned the news that Jon Stewart would be taking two months off from filming The Daily Show , we didn't know how we would cope with our fake news without him. Well, it's sort of like that time when your sixth grade teacher went on maternity leave and you thought it was going to be awful until you found out there was a new fun substitute taking over in his absence. That sub is long-time Daily Show contributor John Oliver and he'll be taking over starting June 10.
Stewart will be off making Rosewater, the story of a BBC journalist's trip to Iran in 2009 to cover the country's elections. Yes, that sounds just like the light satire he usually dishes out on a daily basis. (That, folks, was sarcasm.) Oliver's first guest will be Seth Rogen, so they lined up someone nice and easy for him. Stewart returns to his desk on September 3. It could be like a Bananarama song (a cruel, cruel, cruel summer while he's gone) but we have a feeling Oliver will do just fine.
Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan and Facebook
More: Jon Stewart Is Leaving 'The Daily Show' to Direct a MovieJohn Oliver Engaged to Iraq War VeteranJohn Oliver: The Internet Is Killing 'Community'
From Our Partners:Beyonce Flaunts Bikini Bod for H&amp;M (Celebuzz)33 Child Stars: Where Are They Now? (Celebuzz)

A wedding dress is supposed to be symbolic. It is said to represent the purity of the bride, the love that she has for her future partner, AND it's supposed to represent the most important day of her life when everything she knew forever changes. For most people, putting on a wedding gown means that they are probably getting ready to walk down the aisle. But in The Hunger Games trilogy, Katniss Everdeen's wedding dress does not represent love. It is still, however, a symbol of change. Not only in her own life, but in the lives of all the residents of Panem.
In the upcoming movie, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, Katniss will put on her infamous wedding dress, not to marry her fiancé, but to start a revolution. Those who have read Catching Fire will recall the memorable scene in which Katniss, donning the elegant attire, bursts into flames in an act of protest against the Capitol.
While we have yet to see an image of Hunger Games star Jennifer Lawrence draped in a wedding gown, we decided to find out what the dresses for this epic scene might look like. So, three wedding dress designers — David Tutera, Melissa Sweet, and David's Bridal Design Team — dreamed up the above five looks for us, based on the words of Katniss herself:
Katniss drescribes the dress in the second book of the series: "He unzips the bag, revealing one of the wedding dresses I wore for the photo shoot. Heavy white silk with a low neckline and tight waist and sleeves that fall from my wrists to the floor. And pearls. Everywhere pearls. Stitched into the dress and in ropes at my throat and forming the crown for the veil. Even though they announced the Quarter Quell the night of the photo shoot, people still voted for their favorite dress, and this was the winner."
In the book Catching Fire, the dress goes up in flames and turns Katniss into the rebels' symbol of freedom — a Mockingjay — in the middle of her interview for the Quarter Quell.
"I begin to twirl slowly, raising the sleeves of my heavy gown above my head… Then I notice something is rising up around me. Smoke. From fire," Katniss describes in the book. "Charred bits of black silk swirl into the air, and pearls clatter to the stage. Somehow I’m afraid to stop because my flesh doesn’t seem to be burning and I know Cinna must be behind whatever is happening. So I keep spinning and spinning. For a split second I’m gasping, completely engulfed in the strange flames. Then all at once, the fire is gone. I slowly come to a stop, wondering if I’m naked and why Cinna has arranged to burn away my wedding dress."
Katniss looks down to find out she has become a Mockingjay. "But I’m not naked. I’m in a dress of the exact design of my wedding dress, only it’s the color of coal and made of tiny feathers," she says. "Wonderingly, I lift my long, flowing sleeves into the air, and that’s when I see myself on the television screen. Clothed in black except for the white patches on my sleeves. Or should I say my wings... Cinna has turned me into a Mockingjay."
Not exactly your typical dream wedding.
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire drops in theaters Nov. 22.
Follow Lindsey on Twitter @LDiMat.
More:New 'Hunger Games: Catching Fire' Trailer You're Not Allowed to Hate Jennifer Lawrence Kids Choice Awards: Kristen Stewart Beats Jennifer Lawrence
From Our Partners:Eva Longoria Bikinis on Spring Break (Celebuzz)33 Child Stars: Where Are They Now? (Celebuzz)

It's a question Joan Rivers tells us she finds "boring," and it feels almost Seinfeldian in nature, but: What's the deal with the lack of female hosts on late night television?
It's been a few weeks since The New York Times' first reported Jimmy Fallon would replace Jay Leno on The Tonight Show, a story NBC confirmed Wednesday. And in that time, nary a woman has been mentioned in any serious context as Fallon's possible Late Night replacement. Certainly, there are plenty of talented ladies funny enough to replace him — after all, in his former post, the Saturday Night Live actor was often outshined by his female co-stars. (Hello Amy, Tina, Maya, and Rachel!) Still, with Seth Meyers as the only frontrunner, not one female's name has been brought up as a legitimate successor. Because late night is a total sausagefest.
And it has been since its inception. With very few exception, only men have been allowed to stay up late. Johnny Carson ruled the Tonight Show circuit for a whopping 30 years, with personalities like Jack Paar, Steve Allen, Tom Snyder, Joey Bishop, Dick Cavett, Merv Griffin, Arsenio Hall, Chevy Chase, Craig Kilborn, and even non-comedians Pat Sajak and Carson Daly all trying out the genre. And that's not even considering the men currently on air. With so many late night opportunities given out over the last half a century, the gender gap is a serious mind-boggler.
RELATED: Fallon to Replace Leno as 'Tonight Show' Moves Back to NYC
So what's to blame? The fact that late night doesn't allow women to be themselves. Whereas male comedians are allowed to embrace their own style of humor for late night, female comedians are forced to change — to fit into a mold made up of the contradicting ideas about what we want from our late night hosts versus what we want from our women. History proves the genre has favored commercial male comedians to anything else — funny, class-clown types whose senses of humor are inoffensive enough to make them the everymen. Which is why folks like Fallon, Kimmel, and Leno flourish post-primetime. But when you look at some of the industry's most popular female comedians — Rivers, Kathy Griffin, Chelsea Handler, Roseanne Barr, Margaret Cho, Phyllis Diller, Sarah Silverman — one consistent unifier is evident: These are some bold and brassy broads. Just like Wanda Sykes, Mo'Nique, and Whitney Cummings — all women who failed on late night after failing to stay true to their comedy.
But bold and brassy is exactly what we need. We need to see different viewpoints, strong identities, and, yes, we need to be a little bit offended from time to time. In order to stand out in comedy — an industry that has long favored men — female comedians need to be tough and aggressive, traits that often end up bleeding into their comedy styles. (With, obviously, a few low-key exceptions, like Maria Bamford.) But to be a brash and opinionated woman on television is putting yourself in very sticky territory: loud, confident, opinionated women not only struggle to fit in with the mild late night comedy scene, but they also counter a female stereotype that still exists even years after women's suffrage. "Let me tell you, all women comedians, we are strong and we are lion tamers — and don’t you ever forget it," Rivers says. "We can have three little bows in our hair and [be] wearing six-inch heels, [but] we’re still lion tamers. And we go in there and we take over, otherwise we wouldn’t be able to do stand-up."
The trouble is, as Fallon and Leno's success has proven, network audiences don't want to even see lions. They want cubs. And who better to sit in the late night position than the people we're already comfortable seeing in power: middle-aged white dudes. As Robert J. Thompson, founding director of the Bleier Center for Television and Popular Culture and Trustee Professor of Television and Popular Culture at the S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications at at Syracuse University, says, "When you go down the line — especially the major players — there’s a couple of categories that link them. And those categories are 'White' [and] 'Men.'"
And, hoo boy, is he right. There's Leno, Fallon, and Daly on NBC, Jimmy Kimmel on ABC, with David Letterman and Craig Ferguson rounding out the pack at CBS. The biggest male outlier before the 2010 late night clusterf**k was Conan O'Brien, and that's really just because he's a ginger. Channel surf your way through the networks after 11 PM, and the only women you'll see will be sitting in late night's audiences. Cable, on the other hand, has been far more risky and female-friendly, but suffers from an already overcrowded late night field, with Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Bill Maher, Russell Brand, W. Kamau Bell, and O'Brien yucking it up after dark. That's a lot of competition. "A lot of women have been given a chance," Rivers tells Hollywood.com. "The ones that are good are going to stick."
But, so far, few have. Whereas Handler and Griffin have found success on E! and Bravo with Chelsea Lately and Kathy*, respectively, Wanda Sykes, Mo'Nique, Whoopi Goldberg, Rivers, and Whitney Cummings are among those who have been given a late night opportunity... only to watch it slip right through their fingers. And while MTV is attempting to strike comedy gold with its female-fronted-but-faltering Nikki And Sara Show, but as Thompson puts it, "It's different when you get put into a cable show versus when you’re put into The Tonight Show."
*One day after publication, Bravo canceled Kathy.
RELATED: Jay Leno and TV's 10 Other Biggest Failures
And while the differences between cable and network are many, the genre still largely necessitates its women to change. Many reviews and reactions to Cummings and Mo'Nique's shows focus on the hosts' penchant for yelling — a kneejerk, low-brow humor trope that should admittedly be banished from any sort of regular use in comedy, period. (And that includes everyone, and Especially you, Dane Cook.) One fan review of The Mo'Nique Show laments about the change from a woman who "called you a b**ch and made you laugh at the same time" to someone whose "gushing over the guest and screaming 'yeeeeeees!' like a fake a$$ Oprah." Mo'Nique's noticeable change in appearance (a slimmer frame and shaved legs — something the comedian was quite vocal about not changing in the past), only proved to further disappoint fans who felt the strong-willed funnywoman wouldn't jump through such standard hoops in order to earn success. Sacrifice is always par for the course — but shouldn't come with a cost that compromises their very essence.
Cummings' stand-up routine is often described as transgressive — making jokes about sex, relationships, and the female body are run-of-the-mill topics for her. When placed on stage during Love You, Mean It, we saw a different Cummings. One that the production team felt a need to temper with the presence of her male sidekick, comedian Julian McCullough. While the thought is not an unwelcome one (a show co-hosted by a male/female duo has the potential for greatness), McCullough's presence came across as a way to reel Cummings back into what the show was really about: popular culture and entertainment. So why hire a female comedian whose jokes are primarily about love and relationships, to host a show about pop culture and entertainment? Just because she's a pretty face and a funny woman? Being female isn't a magical band-aid big enough to fix that sort of oversight.
That's not to say late night is an easy role for men either: Just recall the criticism Fallon faced during his first season on Late Night, which was far less refined than O'Brien's well-oiled machine. (Insert "oiled" and "masturbating bear" joke here.) Between the host's perma-laughter and doesn't-translate-to-TV jokes, viewers were calling for his head just episodes in. But the network maintained its faith in the comedian (thanks, no doubt, to comedy TV godfather, Lorne Michaels) and, after a season-and-a-half of Internet-friendly content, Fallon was at the top of his game, winning the Tonight Show gig a mere four years into his late night career.
But Fallon was lucky enough to be given enough time to work out Late Night's kinks. Not only was O'Brien canned less than a year after moving to Tonight — and less than one year after man fans criticized Coco's newly toned-down humor — but the women of late night haven't received much time come into their own, either. In a review of Cummings' show on E!'s Love You, Mean It, writer David Wiegand wielded a critique of Cummings' show that stated "...no one seems to laugh more loudly at Whitney’s humor than Whitney herself," something that rings eerily similar to criticism lobbed at Fallon in his early days. But Cummings' show was — you guessed it! — canceled after its first season.
In fact, of all the female-fronted late night shows, only two have lasted more than a season. Hardly seems fair, does it? Such disparities can be chalked up to the difference between what major networks can afford versus cable or the talent selection. Network executives may be simply picking the wrong women for what they want. Just look at critical response to anything Cummings seems to do. Or even Sykes' stint staying up late — though many were polarized by her bold comedic style, more people disliked the dialed-down, TV-friendly spin she put on her own late night series. To find the lowest-common denominators and risqué acts to prop up (and tone down) as tributes to the late night Hunger Games is practically asking for them to be weeded out early on. "In schools, boys tend to be rewarded for being the class clown more than girls," states Thompson. "Those kind of gender roles — even as we go generations into the women’s movement — a lot of that stuff is still, surprisingly, in tact ... If NBC had replaced Leno not with Fallon, but if they had chosen a really good female comedian, that woman would've had a real struggle, because I do think the genre, the formula of late night television, is so macho."
It's no surprise women often have to struggle to even get recognized in the first place. "I think, in general, truly — women are never looked at, primarily, as somebody funny," Rivers says. "Nobody’s ever quoted me a joke that Kate Moss did. So women already have that hurdle to go over, because they don’t ever think any woman is ... funny. And I don’t know if men want a woman that is, really. To this day. I do, all my friends are hilariously funny women. But we’re women with women. I think men just want you to be gorgeous. And available. I still believe that basically that’s really all they want from you."
RELATED: If Jimmy Fallon Replaces Leno, Who'll Replace Fallon?
Listen, the concept of women as funny beings is debated ad nauseum. It's a stupid conversation that isn't worth having, full stop. But, as Thompson puts it, "To say 'Oh, this many women have tried and failed at late night comedy' — I don’t think we can draw the conclusion that that means women just can’t do this, or even that they were the wrong women; there are so many other variables there. When they were on, how much it was marketed, whether it was a cable channel or syndication — all those kind of things play into it."
That's not to say there haven't been some successes — even in the perceived failures. Rivers was a longtime guest host on Johnny Carson's iteration of The Tonight Show, and her ratings were often higher than Carson's. It's no wonder she was rumored to be in the running to replace him once he decided to retire. But in 1986, FOX came a-knocking and offered Rivers her own show. Naturally, she said yes. "I was the first, first permanent guest hostess on the Carson show, which is unprecedented," she says. "It was never done before in history — between me and 6,000 men. And they picked me."
When Rivers did go off the air less than one year later, it was for personal reasons, not ratings. But the conflict had little to do with her as a person — according to the comedian, the men at the top (including Rupert Murdoch and Barry Diller) did not get along. "I was told by them, 'The tail does not wag the dog,'" she says. "I was told that on a Thursday and we were off air on a Friday."
But, strangely, whereas Cummings and Mo'Nique have struck out with toned-down humor, bigger personalities have performed well in cable's late night arena. Taking a look at the women who have succeeded — namely Handler and Griffin — one thing connects them: They are who they are. No one is toning down Handler's schtick, and Griffin is still doing the same snarky, celeb-obsessed routine on her show that she does on stage. They perform well because they refuse to be anything but what they are — and it works. Right talent, right network. It was no doubt a challenge for them to reach the levels of success they have, but the pay-off has been obvious. To steal a phrase from The West Wing's Leo McGarry: it's time to let Bartlet be Bartlet. Let the ladies be the comedians that made them popular to begin with. "Their humor has balls," Thompson says. "[Griffin and Handler are] females, but they're almost working in that aggressive — what we think of as male — humor, even though that’s a very sexist thing to say." Sexism in Hollywood? No! You don't say.
But with a brawnier choice at the helm, could we find a late-night Katniss of our own? Perhaps, but it won't necessarily be easy for her, either. "People don’t want to see women in that position, even though we all know Cleopatra ruled the roost, and we all know that Marie Antoinette made the decisions," Rivers says. "[But] things have changed tremendously for women. When a woman is good, that's it: the door is open to her much more." Which brings us back to late night poster children Handler and Griffin, again. When it's right, and the metaphorical stars align (right network, right time, right show) it's just so right.
But there is still much work to be done when it comes to changing society's opinions even further. All women must push past expectations consistently and without fear. Step forth, funny ladies, and claim your throne.
For Rivers, her choice is simple: "Tina Fey — give her the job and let’s all go home." Sorry, Tina, looks like you're still the catch-all answer for the way society wants women to do comedy. But we're hopeful that it won't be for long.
Follow @Alicialutes on Twitter
From Our PartnersSee 'Game of Thrones' as 'Mad Men' (Vulture)Hayden Panetierre Bikinis in Miami (Celebuzz)

No matter what your feelings on Jay Leno may be (especially if you're current time slot rival Jimmy Kimmel), there's no denying that he's just as capable of stepping on toes as he is getting viewers to tune in to his show. Now with the rumblings that NBC is ready to boot the host (again) and replace him with a younger, hipper guy (again! ... only this time it would be Jimmy Fallon), will Leno's faithful fans stick with The Tonight Show, go elsewhere, or tune out at 11:35 PM for good?
RELATED: If Jimmy Fallon Replaces Jay Leno, Who Will Replace Fallon?
Even though Leno is biting the hand that feeds him by mocking the floundering NBC on an almost nightly basis, insiders are baffled as to why the network would dare get rid of him. As Tim Malloy over at The Wrap muses, Leno would be "the only one losing his job in late night — even though he's beating the guys who are keeping theirs."
Bill Gorman, the co-founder of television ratings website TV by the Numbers, broke down the current averages of the season to date for the late night shows and their respective hosts for Hollywood.com:
- The Tonight Show, Leno: 0.8 adults 18-49 rating, 3.5 million total viewers
- The Late Show, Letterman: 0.7 adults 18-49 rating, 3.1 million total viewers
- Jimmy Kimmel Live, 0.7 adults 18-49 rating, 2.6 million total viewers (avg. since his show moved to 11:35 in January)
RELATED: Jimmy Fallon Jokes About Jay Leno Replacement Rumors
Meanwhile Leno's proposed replacement, Late Night host Fallon, who is on at the later 12:35 AM time slot, has a "0.5 rating, 1.7 million total viewers season to date." So where would Leno's devoted fans in the coveted 18-49 demo go? Will they move to rival David Letterman, who, like Leno, sways to an older crowd? Or will they abandon network TV for good and instead flip to cable for, say, The Daily Show or The Colbert Report? (As Gorman notes, "On a week to week basis, [Jon] Stewart and [Stephen] Colbert's shows are now pretty close to the broadcast shows among adults 18-49, but draw about half as many total viewers.")
Michael Schneider of TV Guide Magazine, lends his expertise on the subject to Hollywood.com: "In this fragmented TV world, if Leno leaves The Tonight Show, his audience would likely be spread far and wide — it's unlikely one show would be the beneficiary."
"If Letterman outlasts Leno, he'd pick up some of those viewers. Some might stick around to check out Fallon or try Kimmel, but others will likely move on to news shows, syndicated repeats or even their DVR," Schneider adds. "If Arsenio [Hall]'s still on the air at that point (he launches this fall), he could very well pick up a chunk of Leno's audience. But in the end, once Leno's show goes away, his audience may choose another, powerfully seductive late-night competitor: Sleep."
RELATED: Jimmy Fallon to Replace Jay Leno, 'Tonight Show' to Return to New York
If you're a Leno fan, will you continue to tune into The Tonight Show or jump ship for good? Will you tune into the other late night programs? Let us know in the comments section!
[Photo Credit: Hollywood.com Illustration]
You Might Also Like:Topanga's Revealing Lingerie Shoot: Hello '90s! 25 Stars Before They Were Famous

While Beliebers around the world cried Thursday night when they learned that their beloved Justin Bieber had collapsed on stage during a concert in London, the jokesters found material for their 140 character one-liners. This week, the world also watched as Catholic Cardinals convened to elect a new Pope — which, between the Cardinal's traditional religious garb and the church's practice of announcing the new Pope with smoke signals, provided plenty of fodder for funny stuff. And on top of all of that, Kate Middleton said something that made people think that she's pregnant with a baby girl. Watch out, Suri Cruise!
Check out the 10 funniest pop culture tweets of the week!
RELATED: 10 Funniest Pop Culture Tweets from Last Week
10 Funniest Pop Culture Tweets:
1. Colin Mochrie: "Got the call that I'm in the new Star Wars movie as Chuckle Ben Ka-Wacky, improv Jedi, master of the Farce. May be time to change agents."
Got the call that I'm in the new Star Wars movie as Chuckle Ben Ka-Wacky, improv Jedi, master of the Farce. May be time to change agents.
— Colin Mochrie (@colinmochrie) March 6, 2013
2. Rob Delaney: ".@justinbieber Don't feel bad, lil' biscuit! I pissed myself twice at one Phish show in 1993. It's all part of this game called 'Life.'"
.@justinbieber Don't feel bad, lil' biscuit! I pissed myself twice at one Phish show in 1993. It's all part of this game called "Life."
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) March 8, 2013
3. Eugene Mirman: "The Catholic Church can't pick a new Pope until they first address why all the cardinals sort of look like the evil emperor from Star Wars."
The Catholic Church can't pick a new Pope until they first address why all the cardinals sort of look like the evil emperor from Star Wars.
— Eugene Mirman (@EugeneMirman) March 6, 2013
4. Stephen Colbert: "Wonder if the new OZ movie lines up with a Pink Floyd album. Or, since it's produced by Disney, a Selena Gomez album."
Wonder if the new OZ movie lines up with a Pink Floyd album. Or, since it's produced by Disney, a Selena Gomez album.
— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) March 6, 2013
5. Suri’s Burn Book: "Apparently Kate is dropping hints that her baby princess is a girl. Just go ahead and drop me in a dirty river, why don't you."
Apparently Kate is dropping hints that her baby princess is a girl. Just go ahead and drop me in a dirty river, why don't you.
— Suri's Burn Book (@surisburnbook) March 5, 2013
6. Joan Rivers: "When a puff of white smoke wafts out of the Vatican, it means a new pope is elected...or Snoop Dogg is touring the Sistine Chapel."
When a puff of white smoke wafts out of the Vatican, it means a new pope is elected...or Snoop Dogg is touring the Sistine Chapel.
— Joan Rivers (@Joan_Rivers) March 4, 2013
7. Conan O’Brien: "I love how Vine lets me record 6-second videos - it’s perfect for making sex tapes."
I love how Vine lets me record 6-second videos - it’s perfect for making sex tapes.
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) March 2, 2013
8. Mike Birbiglia: "Dennis Rodman being an Ambassador for the United States is like having Dennis Rodman as an ambassador for the United States."
Dennis Rodman being an Ambassador for the United States is like having Dennis Rodman as an ambassador for the United States.
— Mike Birbiglia (@birbigs) March 3, 2013
9. Jordan Zakarin: "Watch out, Jon Stewart. You may just return to find Jay Leno at your desk later this summer."
Watch out, Jon Stewart. You may just return to find Jay Leno at your desk later this summer.
— Jordan Zakarin (@jordanzakarin) March 5, 2013
10. Sam Grittner: "I celebrate International Women's Day by visiting my local CVS and torching all their 'JUST FOR MEN' products while screaming: 'NOT TODAY!'"
I celebrate International Women's Day by visiting my local CVS and torching all their 'JUST FOR MEN' products while screaming: "NOT TODAY!"
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 8, 2013
Follow Lindsey on Twitter @LDiMat.
[Photo Credit: WENN]
From Our Partners:40 Most Revealing See-Through Red Carpet Looks (Vh1)15 Stars Share Secrets of their Sex Lives (Celebuzz)

You know those moments when you and your friends are feeling extremely dark and down and you contemplate questions like "When you die, what does it feel like?" and "How will the world end?" and "What are we going to do on the inevitable day that Jon Stewart decides to leave The Daily Show?" These are all lofty questions we assume we're not going to have to deal with any time in the near future, but as of today, the worst one has become very, very real: This summer, we will witness The Daily Show Without Jon Stewart.
Comedy Central has confirmed to Hollywood.com that Stewart will indeed be taking a break from his newsy show.
RELATED: 50 Reasons Jon Stewart's Still Got It
I know, I know. I blacked out a little bit too. How can we enjoy The Daily Show if The Daily Show doesn't have Stewart, the man who made the show what it is today? This has happened once before, in 2004, when Stephen Colbert stepped in to take the reins while Stewart was out, but seeing as Colbert has his own show, Comedy Central's next answer to Stewart's absence will be Senior Green-screen-travel correspondent John Oliver.
But, before we all lose our heads, it's important to acknowledge that this is just temporary. Stewart is taking a little hiatus from the show to direct a movie called Rosewater, which is the story of BBC journalist Maziar Bahari's 2009 trip to Iran to cover the country's elections, according to Deadline. Though Bahari was meant to be gone a week, the reporter wound up in an Iranian prison for 118 days where he faced brutal interrogation by a man who smelled of rosewater, hence the title.
RELATED: Jon Stewart Missed the Petraeus Scandal: 'I'm the Worst Journalist'
While The Daily Show without Stewart may prove a trying summer task for his die-hard fans, there are two comforting notions to get us through this difficult time: First, Stewart is solidifying his station as a legitmate journalist (despite the joking nature of the Comedy Central show) by covering this reporter's harrowing tale. Second, we've survived a Stewartless episode once, we're strong enough to let the very funny Mr. Oliver guide us for a summer, aren't we?
Follow Kelsea on Twitter @KelseaStahler
The Daily Show with Jon StewartGet More: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor &amp; Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook
From Our Partners:Seal Is Dating the Pink Power Ranger: Report (Vh1)60 Celebrity Bikini Bodies: Guess Who! (Celebuzz)

How much pain can our poor hearts take? Less than a week after longtime Hollywood power couple Diane Lane and Josh Brolin filed for divorce, we find that two other beloved sets of coupled stars are calling it quits. First Michelle Williams and Jason Segel ended their fairytale (or so we thought) relationship and now, People confirms that Michael Sheen and Rachel McAdams have called it quits, too. But they were so perfect! As our favorite couples bite the dust, one after the other, it just makes you wonder "Why them and not Rihanna and Chris Brown?"
RELATED: Michelle Williams and Jason Segel Break Up
There's a simple answer here: we hold the good couples up as an ideal of romantic relationships. The reason we love a Michelle Williams dating a Jason Segel is that, for various reasons, that relationship strikes us as real. Put a beautiful screen sweetheart with a beloved goofball and suddenly we have a couple we're happy to see stroll red carpets and dining together in public. Same goes for Sheen and McAdams: her easygoing nature and his devil-may-care attitude mixed with a bit of high brow bravado make us feel like we're witnessing the ideal relationship develop before our eyes.
These relationships are all the good stuff we imagine comes after every happy ending in movie, except it's happening in what we believe is real life. It reality, that "real life" is what plays out in tabloids, but don't tell us that. We're living vicariously over here. Our hearts still flutter with the force of a thousand butterflies every time someone photographs Amy Poehler and her soon-to-be ex-husband Will Arnett playing with their child. Wednesday, the mere mention of the short-lived rumor of Neil Patrick Harris splitting with his longtime love David Burtka (breathe, it's just a silly rumor) triggered migranes in even the most mild celeb culture fans. We live for this, okay?
RELATED: How Do We Process Amy Poehler and Will Arnett's Split?
But the first thing that shatters the veil between our version of celebrities' reality and the real thing is a break up. The one-two punch is the reminder that for every couple we love to love (from Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfelt, to Beyonce and Jay-Z, and even Kim Kardashian and Kanye West) there's a couple we can't wait to break up and leave our headlines, front pages, and magazine covers forever. Rihanna and Chris Brown's sadly continuing relationship, Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson's maddening on-and-off romance, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt's eternal (and desperate) quest for fame, and even Ryan Gosling's never-ending relationship with hope-dasher Eva Mendes rip a hole in our happy little Hollywood picture. And that wound is never more sensitive than when not only do these nightmare couples stay firmly attached at the hip as one of the good ones goes down the drain.
How are we supposed to maintain the buzz obtained by living vicariously through these beautiful strangers? Well, we can remember one very important thing: With the exception of Gosling and Mendes, these bad news couples are made up of folks who are magnets for this sort of attention. Rihanna continually makes decisions that make us want to hug her, tell her to knock it off, and set her back on the right path and Brown is nothing short of a mess (and that's us going easy on the guy). Montag and Pratt are two reality survivors so distorted by their time on The Hills that they need each other to subsist. The "are-they-aren't-they" saga of the Twilight lovers irks us, but Stewart is a wet blanket and Pattinson is a wimp (albeit a handsome one): they deserve each other. Let's not let these couplings ruin our starry-eyed notions of love under the limelight.
Still, the breakups of the wonderful ones and the never-ending sagas of the folks we can't stand is something we've just got to live with. Just remember, at the end of every breakup and the outset of every string of stories about the aforementioned awful couples there is one very important silver linging: if life and love are this tumultuous in Hollywood, then the rest of us must be doing alright.
Follow Kelsea on Twitter @KelseaStahler
[Photo Credit: FameFlyNet; Andrew D. Bernstein NBAE via Getty Images]
From Our Partners:25 Most Scandalous Celeb Twitpics (Vh1)33 Child Stars: Where Are They Now? (Celebuzz)

Hosting the Oscars is like — if you do a good job, they're going to force you (against your will) to do it again. Billy Crystal, Bob Hope, Whoopi Goldberg, and Jon Stewart are among those who've been guilted into returning to the Academy Awards stage after impressive turns, and we're wondering if Seth MacFarlane will be joining their ranks. True, some of MacFarlane's material didn't go over so well with some audiences — not Robert De Niro, he loved it — but we could envision a world with another go-'round for the Family Guy creator, especially given his ascension toward big picture relevance what with 2012's Ted and the developing comedy movie, A Million Ways to Die in the West.
RELATED: Seth MacFarlane Opening Monologue: What Did You Think?
So what do you think? Do you think MacFarlane should get another chance at the stage? Does America want another rendition of "We Saw Your Boobs?", another extended appearance by a Star Trek veteran, another CGI child's toy probing Mark Wahlberg for details on Hollywood's post-Oscars sexual escapades?
Let us know!
RELATED: Seth MacFarlane's 10 Best Jokes of the Night
&amp;lt;a href="http://polldaddy.com/poll/6920133/"&amp;gt;Should Seth MacFarlane Host the Oscars Again?&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;
[Photo Credit: Matt Sayles/AP Images]
From Our Partners:40 Most Revealing See-Through Red Carpet Looks (Vh1)33 Child Stars: Where Are They Now? (Celebuzz)

Starred in the teen thriller "The Faculty" and the comedy "Playing by Heart", both produced by Miramax

Began hosting "The Daily Show" (Comedy Central); also served as writer and co-executive producer; earned several Emmy nominations for Performing, Writing and Producing a Variety or Music Program from 2002 - 2010

Tapped to host the annual telecast of the Grammy awards

Played Adam Sandler's best friend in the comedy "Big Daddy"

Nominated for the 2011 TV Critics Association Award for Individual Achievement in Comedy

Again hosted the annual telecast of the Grammy awards

Summary

For comedian Jon Stewart, jocular anchor of the Emmy award-winning faux news program "The Daily Show" (Comedy Central, 1996- ), the transformation from frat boy humorist to pointed social and political satirist occurred during one of the United States' most turbulent times. Amidst war, government absurdity, and an increasingly compliant national media, Stewart emerged from a then obscure cable channel to become one of the nation's lone voices of reason in a sea of 24-hour news blowhards and pandering politicians. Despite Stewart's protestations to the contrary, "The Daily Show" became one of the most trusted sources of news for the Gen-X crowd - or "stoned slackers," as Fox pundit Bill O'Reilly referred to them - even though the comedian routinely claimed to be host of a fake news program. Over the years, Stewart's Emmy-winning show earned the respect of Washington's power players, many of whom found sitting in his interview chair integral to running a campaign or simply selling a book. Regardless of the criticism he received - mainly from the right side of aisle and media pundits who were his frequent targets - there was no doubt that Stewart and "The Daily Show" were a vital part of the nation's political discourse. After months of speculation about his future plans, Stewart announced he was leaving the iconic late-night series in 2015.

Name

Role

Comments

Donald Leibowitz

Father

Physics professor at The College of New Jersey; Divorced from Stewart's mother c. 1971; remarried

Marion Leibowitz

Mother

Divorced from Stewart's father c. 1971

Larry Leibowitz

Brother

Tracy McShane

Wife

Married November 2000

Maggie Stewart

Daughter

Born Feb. 4, 2006; mother, Tracy McShane

Nathan Stewart

Son

Born July 3, 2004; mother, Tracy McShane

Education

Name

College of William and Mary

Lawrence High School

Notes

"One of the nice things about stand-up is you work on material and hone it and really give it time to breathe and live. And when you're doing a monologue every day, rather than discussing things that you really believe, you go, 'Hey, look at this, a guy in Wisconsin fell into a vat of macaroni. Come on, we can do something with that! I'll do an impression!' You start to lose sight of what you actually think." – Stewart quoted in Rolling Stone, Jan. 26, 1995

"Jon Stewart is the sexiest, most soulful apparition haunting late-night TV. He flirts with women and men with equal abandon, even hitting on inanimate objects like the Pez dispensers and dolls he turns into puppets. The message isn't that he's hoping to f*ck his guests after the show but that he wants to twirl them around his fingers while the cameras are running. Seduction tames the world for Stewart and calms him down, and he is so successful at it, his guests fling themselves on him, or cuddle him, or rear up with unprecendented rambuctiousness." – from "Going to Bed With Jon Stewart" by Laurie Stone in Village Voice, March 7, 1995

"The goals for me have changed somewhat. There's a bit of seduction to the idea of being on network, but it got to the point where that wasn't important. What's important is doing something worthwhile. Which is why I've always avoided being on a sitcom. Yeah, it's high-profile and it's on a network, but you know what? You could be on 'Suddenly Stewart.'" – Stewart to Aaron Barnhart, published in The Inquirer, Sept. 1, 1998

In 2001, he had his surname legally changed to "Stewart".

"They always say politics is show business for ugly people. But I think a much more appropriate saying would be that Washington is Hollywood that actually matters. These are people who, for all their apparent insanity, control nearly every aspect of our lives." – Stewart quoted to Time, Sept. 27, 2004

"As a performer, I'm truly honored to be hosting the show. Although, as an avid watcher of the Oscars, I can't help but be a little disappointed with the choice." – Stewart on hosting the 2006 Academy Awards, People, Jan. 10, 2006