Dr. Keith Ablow of Fox News’ “Medical A Team” (he must be the “Howling Mad Murdoch” character) has a deeply insane column up in which he theorizes that, instead of being the lazy, shiftless incompetent most Fox viewers understand him to be, President Obama is actually a wily super-villain who is waging “psychological warfare on Americans” via ultra-sophisticated blackity-black ops:

The techniques are often combined with black ops strategy, in which covert initiatives seek to dispirit, disempower and confuse adversaries.

The psychological warfare has continued, I believe, with other opportunities the president has had to make American’s [sic] question their individual freedoms and autonomy.

Ablow cites the thus-far futile attempt to restrict access to high-capacity magazines and improve background checks in the wake of the Newtown massacre as an attempt to wage “psychological warfare on the American belief that force is justifiable when confronting evil.”

This cleverly disguised pacifism explains why everyone on the left is united in praising Obama’s remote-controlled airdrops of Yoga videos, scones and instant latte cups in Yemen and Waziristan, as well as the accidental aerial disbursement of GameStop cards on the odd Afghan wedding party.

Ablow also espies dastardly blackity-black ops plots in the IRS and AP brouhahas and even Benghazi:

Seen through the lens of psychological warfare, the failure to defend our embassy in Benghazi need not be understood simply as a screw-up. It could reflect an actual strategy on the part of the administration to reinforce the notion that homicidal violence born of hatred toward America is understandable—even condonable—because we have generated it ourselves and are reaping the harvest of ill will we have sown. In other words, we should take our punishment.

Whereas consigning Osama bin Laden to the briny deep was what, a sack-dance in the end zone of failed whitey GWB?

Nut-picking, you say? But these aren’t the rantings of some random, syphilitic, bunny-hoarding Freeper — well, they are! — however, Ablow is also often included in the so-called “straight news” Fox programming.

My mind has stopped reeling. It just wants to hurt people badly at this point. I used to think they were stupid (really believed what they were spewing) or greedy (say anything for a healthy paycheck); now I know they are deeply evil. It amazes me they announce themselves as Christian and by the time they say “hello, nice to meet you” they have lied three times.

@Emma: I have felt for ages that folks like Ablow (let’s say Republicans in general) are lying sociopaths. Not all of them are racist. It is interesting to see the Republican governor rebellion where the bottom line is that the governors want to do something (extend Medicaid) that is not blatantly sociopathic. I am not ready to ascribe their intentions to the acquisition of empathy, it may have political or financial roots, but the outcome, if successful, will help the less fortunate members of society. Those same governors are now fighting the Medicaid extension battle with the Keith Ablows in their state legislatures.

The {president’s] techniques are often combined with black ops strategy, in which covert initiatives seek to dispirit, disempower and confuse adversaries.

Dr. Ablow,

You are not dispirited, disempowered, and confused by President Obama’s techniques.

You are dd&c because fewer and fewer people will vote for a party that is characterized, by polls that Republicans commissioned themselves, as: closed-minded, racist, rigid, old-fashioned. Not to mention sexist, homophobic, war-mongering, hypocritical, self-dealing, dismissive of anyone with less than a million dollars in assets, anti-science, anti-art, and, quite frankly, irrational and utterly bonkers.

I’m in awe of their ability to hold two opposing viewpoints simultaneously. One day Barack Obama is a lazy and stupid, the next he’s an uppity elitist. Today he is an ineffectual closeted homosexual, tomorrow he will be Stalin on steroids.

I have family members who claim Obama was elected because of white guilt and others who think he’s a lazy know-it-all – but they don’t have any issues with race at all. And they’re not even Republicans. They’re just reasonable, moderate independents that always vote for Republican candidates and speak in FOX News talking points.

I really hope Hillary Clinton runs in 2016 because I want the Republicans to crank it up another notch on the crazy meter. I want their heads to explode.

@Just Some Fuckhead: It takes a certain degree of initiative to not only envision a launch facility inside of a volcano, but to also hire a contracting firm to construct it without leaving any evidence or eyewitnesses behind, and then to do all of the hiring of those henchmen. It’s not like you can put a job listing on Monster for that sort of thing.

Perhaps the death ray failures are simply a result of them being exhausted from all of the HR paperwork.

Oh, yeah. Keith Ablow. He who said that Joe Biden was showing signs of dementia, that if kids watched Chaz Bono on Dancing with the Stars they’d reconsider their own gender, and who thinks people who aren’t stockpiling survival gear are the crazy ones. That guy. Certainly an expert I’d trust.

UGH! TPM driving nuts when they try to be HuffPo. They have this screaming headline: Obama: Filibuster This
D.C. Circuit Court Picks Test GOP Mettle

What the freaking fuck! Nominating judges when I vacancy arises is a normal presidential responsibility. This should not be portrayed as a showdown or Obama daring the GOP to filibuster. Fuck it. I give up!

We have only ourselves to blame .By eradicating hookworm and making it possible for people who would have in earlier days been killed by their own stupidity to live we’ve enabled the kind of entrenched stupidity that we see now.

Several countries monitoring Iran’s nuclear program have picked up information that the country’s only power-producing nuclear reactor was damaged by one or more of several recent earthquakes, with long cracks appearing in at least one section of the structure, two diplomats said Tuesday.

Of course, in addition to the insidious power to move tectonic plates, Obama is also so goddamn lazy that he refused to push a single red button that would have wiped Iran off the map.

They’re spoiled brats. They never grew up and wouldn’t know ‘personal responsibility’ if it bit them on the ass. Privileged people raised in a bubble, pissed off that nobody recognizes them as Legendary Patriots.

Someone noted the other day that these folks must have a heroic fantasy movie playing 24/7 in their heads, with themselves as Hero Of Civilization. Good grief.

@Anya: Did you read his speech about it? He started out by telling Republicans that since he’s done his job, they need to do theirs. He called them out on stating that somehow we now only need 8 judges, comments which seem to only occur when Democrats are in charge.

@Belafon (formerly anonevent): I hate the way important judicial nominations is portrayed by a serious organization as a game. It’s not a fucking game. Yes, the President is calling out the republicans for their obstructionist acts but he’s not playing games. This is not a gimmick and that’s what that stupid headline tells me.

@Paul in KY: well if you promise not to kill your minions, you can hire me for risk management consulting and continuity management. But my SoW is very specific on the whole “kill me and this contract is void”. It’s a measurable KPI, and fairly standard in the industry.

I think you’re confusing me with someone else. I’m definitely not a firebagger – I’m not a big fan of the Jane Hamster’s of the left. I voted for Obama in 2008. I don’t read Daily Kos diaries.

I’m going to vote for Hillary Clinton because I’m a card-carrying Democrat. I voted for Clinton in ’92, was too baked to vote in ’96. Voted for Gore and Kerry in 2000 and 2004 and B Barry Bamz in 08 and 12.

Just a normal, run of the mill Democrat who thinks Hillary Clinton is the best bet to keep the Executive Branch under Democratic control. And her election will probably make Republicans heads explode, Scanners style.

Someone really needs to whisper into Ablowhard’s ear the idea that Obama is developing mind-control satellites and has infiltrated the Fox newsroom. With any luck, he’ll appear on-air wearing an actual tin-foil hat.

Pshaw! Evil Mastermind 101 teaches you that when building your super secret HQ of DOOM, you use a series of different contractors, preferably “silencing” the previous crew, and you keep them limited as to the entire scope of the DOOM.

The guy has a point. President Obama is indeed successfully waging psychological warfare on “conservative Americans” as claimed in the column, insofar as this column itself is evidence of the fact that he’s driving them totally crazy. Not the President’s intention, but he can’t help himself – the simple truth is he’s black and they can’t handle that. Nor can they admit that’s the reason he’s driving them totally fucking nuts – so they make up this shit that’s even more insane.

@belieber: I hope Hillary Clinton runs because I think Hillary Clinton is an excellent candidate. I’m a Democrat and I want to win elections and I think Clinton is the best bet. Everyone already know who she is, she has huge bases of support with every constituency that makes up the Democratic coalition. Obama won easily with less people on board than Hillary Clinton will have supporting her. I want a blow-out. I want every woman, minority, GLBT, youth vote along with straight white guys like me.

And I want the Republicans to be pushed even further over the edge. I want their heads to explode, and Hillary Clinton is just the person to get it done.

I don’t let perfect be the enemy of the good and Hillary Clinton is damn good.

@Redshirt: I think that method has been discredited in today’s 24 hour news world. With all the communications devices now, it is much harder to keep the wholesale murder of one of your consulting/engineering groups secret anymore. Once that gets out, you just can’t get top flight help anymore.

Obama won because he was the better candidate with more support…full stop. Just because you say you are a democrat who voted for Obama does not mean you are not a Clintonista. The definition of which is someone obsessed with the idea of Hillary Clinton as president to the point. Also typically but not necessarily very critical of Obama for the same reason. Because they still believe that she should have won in 2008. That is a Clintonista and it’s also dillusiona

Another could be that most people are coming to realize that the Republican party no long cares to hide the fact that it is totally and completely batshit fucking howl at the moon crazy, and this is becoming a matter of concern for those who still believe in the American experiment.

I was listening to an NPR interview this afternoon with Grassley about the Federal court nominations. Toward the end, his voice raised both in volume and pitch, and he asserted that Obama’s court nominations are really just a diversion from the Benghazi scandal. Bat-shit crazy.

Your votes over the last 20 years are the same as mine and I’m not “obsessed” with Hillary Clinton either … so I heartily agree with your response to belieber. What’s “obsessive” is the likes of belieber imagining that a candidate farther left than Hillary has a snowball’s chance in hell with the national electorate as currently constituted.