The only movie reviews you need

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

The
acclaimed 2009 Argentine thriller ‘El Secreto de sus Ojos’ gets the American
treatment in ‘Secret in Their Eyes,’ loaded with A-list star power in Julia Roberts,
Nicole Kidman and the rising Chiwetel Ejiofor.I know, it’s virtually impossible to top a movie that’s won an Oscar for
best foreign language film, but surely you can excuse Hollywood for the indulgence
in adapting this movie for the American audience since I’m sure many of you (myself
included) find the prospect of reading subtitles for two hours straight a
daunting one.

Without
giving away any spoilers, suffice it to say that SITE is a slow-burning
suspense/revenge thriller with a shocking revelation at the end.If you’ve seen the movie’s trailer, you would
gather that the movie centers on the aftermath of a young woman's brutal
murder, a young woman who happened to be the daughter of the FBI agent played by
Julia Roberts.The attempt to bring the
killer to justice ties together the movie’s three main characters, played to
near perfection by Roberts, Ejiofor and Kidman.The movie employs frequent flashbacks as a device in telling its story
then (2002) and now (2015), and while this at first can be rather disorienting
and confusing, once you settle down into the movie’s rhythm it flows naturally
enough.

Although
SITE has been panned by critics, not having seen the original Argentine
version (yet) gives me the luxury of not being overly critical of this
film.In fact, I thoroughly enjoyed SITE
as an old fashioned suspense-mystery thriller, which worked in no small part
due to the fine performances delivered by Roberts, Kidman and in particular
Ejiofor, who manages to impress me more and more with each movie he starred in. Happy Thanksgiving, y'all.

‘The
Hunger Games’ saga concludes with ‘Mockingjay Part 2,’ the fourth and final film
adapted from Suzanne Collins’ popular post-apocalyptic YA trilogy. The story of a young woman from humble
beginnings who’s so badass that she won the bloody national pastime which had
become an annual tradition in the fictional country depicted in the novels not
once but twice and rose to become the universal symbol against tyranny and
oppression, it is easy to see how ‘The Hunger Games’ appeals to so many people
across all age groups.

‘Mockingjay
Part 2’ picks up right where Part 1 (big surprise!) left off (reviewed here: http://www.moviesaccordingtodave.blogspot.com/2014/12/to-kill-mockingjay-act-one.html), as the rebellion
of the districts against the capitol of Panem and President Snow (Donald Sutherland)
reaches a crescendo after Katniss (Jennifer Lawrence) survived the “betrayal”
and near assassination by her former ‘Hunger Games’ partner Peeta Mellark (Josh
Hutcherson).Clocking in at a brisk
two-hours and seventeen minutes, I feel that I have to retract my initial dismissal of splitting up the third book into two movies as nothing more than
a shameless cash grab.To conclude the
series in one movie would make it well over three hours long even if it’s mercilessly
edited down, and both parts of ‘Mockingjay’ are essential to telling the whole
story as well as providing depth and nuances to the key players.

‘Mockingjay
Part 2’ is the gritty “war movie” of the series and is as visceral and
uncompromising as a PG-13 movie geared toward teens and young adults would
allow.There are moments of triumph and
joy but also tragedy and heartbreak.The
million-dollar question as to whom Katniss will ultimately settle down with in
the Katniss-Peeta-Gale love triangle is thankfully answered by the end of the movie,
but as in the case of “Team Edward” versus “Team Jacob” not everyone will go
home happy.

Monday, November 9, 2015

James Bond goes fabulously retro in 'Spectre,' the 24th installment in the venerable
British secret agent franchise that began with ‘Dr. No’ way back in 1962. 007 was very
much a product of the Cold War, in which the spy games between the CIA or MI6
on one hand and KGB on the other were mirrored in popular media by MI6 versus
SPECTRE, SHIELD versus HYDRA and even CONTROL versus KAOS. So when it was
announced that ‘Spectre’ is to be a throwback homage of sorts to the early
James Bond films of the ‘60s and ‘70s, color me intrigued.

Director Sam Mendes and the
screenwriters were well aware that the sinister and all-powerful SPECTRE (acronym
for Special Executive for Counter-Intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and
Extortion) criminal organization which appeared in such Bond classics as 'Dr.
No,' 'From Russia with Love,' 'Thunderball' and 'On Her Majesty's Secret
Service' would be an anachronism in our contemporary post-9/11 era, but that
didn’t mean they can’t reinvent it for the modern audience.As such ‘Spectre’ turned out to be a
compromise which, while not as campy or infused with self-parody as the early
Bond films that informed it, is nonetheless much lighter in tone than the
previous movies starring Daniel Craig.And
not only did ‘Spectre’ tie in to ‘Casino Royale,’ ‘Quantum of Solace’ and
‘Skyfall,’ it also paid tribute to the early Bond films in some of its scenes, like
the one where Dave Bautista’s Mr. Hinx did a decent Jaws (RIP, Richard Kiel)
impression fighting Bond in a speeding train à la ‘The Spy Who Loved Me.’Providing
much food for thought, ‘Spectre’ also fuels public debate with its warning of
an all-seeing "Big Brother" police state that threatens to render
the Double-O program (i.e. human spies) obsolete.It is a highly
relevant topic considering how satellites and drones have made killing in far-off places so easy at the push of a button.As Ralph
Fiennes' “M” succinctly put it in one memorable scene, the use of field agents like 007
is indeed a license to kill, but it's also a license not to kill because he still has to look the person in the eye before he pulls the trigger.

‘Spectre’ has garnered mixed
reviews, with the detractors citing its uneven pace, forgettable Bond girls and
uninspired action scenes (except for the fast and furious street race through
Rome between Bond’s Aston Martin DB10 and Mr. Hinx’s Jaguar C-X75, that is) among
the reasons not to embrace it.They're dead wrong.'Spectre' not only possesses the
old-school charm reminiscent of those early Bond flicks starring Sean Connery and Roger
Moore, it is also a solid and respectful addition to the 007 canon bridging
the past and present.

Monday, November 2, 2015

Zom-Coms
are a lot like Rom-Coms; most of them are crap and you can’t pay me enough to
waste time watching ‘em.For every
‘Shaun of the Dead,’ ‘Fido’ or ‘Zombieland’ we get five ‘Zombie Strippers,’
‘Zombeavers’ or ‘Navy SEALs Versus Zombies’ that couldn’t even get a proper
theatrical release.So when I decided
to check out the unheralded ‘Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse,’ I kept my
expectations low accordingly for good reason.And
this is how I found SGTTZA to be a rather entertaining diversion.

SGTTZA is the story of Ben,
Carter and Augie, three best buds since childhood who are now high school
sophomores but still members of that storied American institution, the Boy Scouts
of America.Upon return from what was to
be their last camping trip, they found that the world has gone to shit and the
much dreaded “zombie apocalypse” has begun in their sleepy little town.Such is the ridiculous and often funny
premise of SGTTZA, which I’m somewhat ashamed to confess is quite the guilty
pleasure of the year.

Growing up during the golden age
of B movie zom-coms such as 'The Return of the Living Dead,' 'Re-Animator,'
'Night of the Comet,' Night of the Creeps' and 'Dead Heat,' perhaps I'm
naturally inclined to give SGTTZA a break, but SGTTZA does possess that certain
‘80’s je ne sais quoi with hints of
‘Fast Times at Ridgemont High,’ ‘Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure’ and all those
endearing John Hughes movies, except with rotting zombies of course.Puerile and packed with crass adolescent
humor, SGTTZA is what a zom-com might be like if Kevin Smith wrote and directed
it.There are slow zombies that seem to
evolve and move faster as the movie progresses (consistency, you say?
Sooo overrated), a “hot” zombie cop with a nice rack, a nasty and mean zombie
old lady, her horde of zombie kitty cats and a zombie scout leader (David
Koechner) who simply doesn’t know when to quit.SGTTZA is an edgier, racier ‘Zombieland’ and I’m frankly shocked and
appalled that I laughed so hard throughout this sorry excuse of a B movie.

With the massive worldwide
popularity of the ‘Fast and Furious’ franchise, it’s easy to forget that Vin
Diesel’s first love has always been the fantasy/sci-fi genre.In between movies about driving fast cars and
pulling off impossible heists, the muscular Diesel likes to indulge in genre
movies such as ‘Riddick’ and his latest feature, ‘The Last Witch Hunter.’Don’t be so surprised, he’s an avid
D&D roleplayer.

Unfortunately, TLWH turned out to
be derivative, uninspired, and bland to the extent that I nearly dozed off at
various points during this one-hour, 46-minute exercise in futility which
seemed to drag on forever.Diesel plays
the dark and brooding Riddick, I mean Kaulder, a witch hunter from the Middle Ages who vanquished the Witch Queen but
not before she “cursed” him with immortality before she died.800 years later in the modern world, Kaulder
still assumes his role with serious gravitas as the protector of humanity,
maintaining the fragile peace between humans and the witches (and warlocks) who
live in secret among us.Just like vampires,
eh?

TLWH might have worked 15 years
ago when TV shows such as ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ and movies like ‘Blade’ and
‘Underworld’ were all the rage.Now it’s
just the latest been-there-done-that “where have I seen that before?” addition
to a long dead subgenre.Nothing at all
stands out in this film and even the FX is boringly pedestrian.And as much as I like Diesel, his acting chops
leave a lot to be desired even if he nailed the “look” in his long coat and
sword strapped across his back. Good thing he's making a ton of money in F&F and can afford flops like this, because TLWH's tanking fast and furiously at the box office.

Hurray! The long-running and critically
maligned ‘Paranormal Activity’ franchise thankfully draws to a close with ‘Paranormal
Activity: The Ghost Dimension,’ the sixth and last film of the low budget,
“found footage” series which became an unexpected sensation eight years
ago.It is only a matter of time that PA would
eventually fall prey to the “law of diminishing returns,” which arguably happened
three sequels ago after PA3.But you can’t
blame Oren Peli for milking this cash cow for all she’s worth, because
the series as a whole made something like 40 times its budget, due in no small part to suckers like me.

PA:TGD isn’t unwatchably
horrible, but came pretty close.What it attempted to do is to answer any lingering questions and provide
the series with closure.As in the
case of nearly all of the previous films (except the last entry, ‘Paranormal
Activity: The Marked Ones’ which was a detour of sorts),
a daemonic entity named “Tobey” stalks young children, in this case six-year
old Leila, who like the others speaks to him like an imaginary friend.We’ve all been here before, but ‘The Ghost
Dimension’ ties in with some of the other films, in particular the third installment
(arguably the best of the franchise) which took place in 1988 when Katie and
Kristie were young and blissfully unaware that they’re witches (luckily they didn't come across the subject of my next review).

Unless you’re a diehard PA fan
you’re not missing much here if you choose to skip PA:TGD.Even if you are you’re likely to feel a sense
of déjà vu as you watch this movie.It’s
the same tired formula as nearly all the previous films in the series.A young couple discovers to their increasing horror that their child is targeted
by an evil daemonic entity and tries to exorcise it with the help of Catholic clergy but
fails epically and dies horribly for their vain attempt. There, I just saved you ten bucks.