I think hospitality is seriously lacking in Catholic churches. It doesn’t cut it to have a cantor say “Welcome to St. So-and-So’s Catholic Community (not church!) Please give a hug and kiss to everyone around you, jump over 5 pews and then do the same. Ask your neighbor what hobbies they enjoy and then break their arms if they don’t swear to return next week. Our Gathering Song is in Gather II at #….” if people just smile awkwardly at eachother. Nor is it right to have Mass begin with a hugfest. As for what CAN be done, I don’t know. If it’s a small church, the priest can personally welcome any visitors he sees after Mass. All that’s usually needed is a simple “thank you for being here!” to make someone consider visiting again. I once went to an extremely conservative protestant church out of curiosity. I’ve never gotten such a warm welcome from a congregation before. They were genuinely happy that I was there to worship with them. How we can get that in a Catholic church, I don’t know at all. Certainly the suggestions on your list are a good place to begin.

As one of those not regularly in the pews, I don’t think the answer really lies in what goes on at Mass. The only thing that keeps me vaguely in the vicinity of the Church is that I have met some people who practise what they preach by the way that they live. They keep me wondering.

When I stopped going to church, it wasn’t because of the Mass, or that people weren’t friendly. It was a combination of personal problems, and a feeling that church was more about a relationship with the other church members than about a relationship with God … but I’m kind of a social hermit :-)

Just thought of something else that could help. Our pastor had parishioners host informal neighborhood meetings in their homes. He was new to the parish and wanted to get a feel for what the people wanted for the parish. Perhaps something like this (small group neighborhood meetings) could be helpful in getting people back to church.

Anne, I am certain that what they do is grounded in their experience of the Eucahrist, which is a major reason I am kept wondering.
One couple who really ‘practised what they preached” took one of my sisters in to live with their family. One nun who taught me went to the missions in Peru where amongst other things she worked with AIDS patients. She helped a lot of girls behind the scenes who were having various difficulties at home and they remain grateful to her years later. Earlier this year I met a priest who I spoke with over lunch: his whole way of dealing with me spoke of someone who knew Jesus and sought to live his life as a follower. These people keep me wondering. As do others.

Not necessarily. These people have faith and it appears to make a difference to their lives. Others claim to have faith and I see no difference in their lives from many others I know. It makes me wonder but does not prove a thing.

about Todd Flowerday

A Roman Catholic lay person, married (since 1996), with one adopted child (since 2001). I serve in worship and spiritual life in a midwestern university parish.

about John Donaghy

John is a lay missionary since 2007 with a parish in western Honduras. Before that he served in campus ministry and social justice ministry in Iowa. His ministry blog is http://hermanojuancito.blogspot.com

He also blogs reflections on the lectionary and saints/heroes/events of the date at http://walktheway.wordpress.com

He'll be a long-term contributor here analyzing the Latin American bishops' document from their 2007 Aparecida Conference.