ZONBEI

Zonbei was an infamously obnoxious player that would eventually be banned by Evil Trout. His most heinous acts were committed in the IDC shortly after it was born. Studies now show that no one here ever liked him. Ever. He would constantly make dumb comments and claim that it was a unique way of trolling everyone. Zonbei would also spend an unnecessary amount of time telling chat that he would be leaving only to reenter minutes after he left.

Few players had encounters with him outside of chat. However, their stories are terrifying: Zonbei was known to Tubmail "females" in-game with awkward flirting and creepy hints at real life meetings.

Zonbei's Banning

In the early hours of April 1st, 2008 Zonbei was banned by Evil Trout for having multi-accounts and being a fabulous person. Players were quoting and accusing Zonbei of bragging about trolling people on another account, L33tfiend. Evil Trout checked Zonbei's logs and found that Zonbei and L33tfiend were indeed the same person. Zonbei and his accounts were banned.

Zonbei's Resurrection

It is an inevitability that Zonbei will try to re-enter the ForumWarz community. The day he was banned Zonbei created the account Retard-0-Bot, which was quickly found and terminated by Team Crotch Zombie. If you or anyone you know find a player that is known to be or might be Zonbei please report it. No one wants this guy around.

Zonbei's Re-resurrection

In the early hours of April 5th 2008 a user named Zonbei entered IDC; this user was actually The Other Other Hole. A user named Ragnall protested saying that this Zonbei was an impostor. Upon checking some records it was found that Ragnall was in fact Zonbei and was banned despite his protests that he was actually Zonbei's friend and that Zonbei was sitting beside him.

Zonbei's Re-re-resurrection

On the same night of April 5th a user named Piggy-killer came on IDC claiming to be Zonbei's friend. He proceeded to say he was leaving only to return ten minutes later. He also annoyed all the other members of the chat. Was this Zonbei or Zonbei's friend? The non-very special will conclude that this was in fact Zonbei because even without all the evidence that was gathered, Zonbei clearly has no friends. Piggy-killer then changed the wiki to admit he was Zonbei, and is now banned.

Zonbei's Re-re-re-resurrection

The police have tracked down the new alt of Zonbei, the internet hero called BirdofPrey. Thorough analysis all evidence point out that this is Zonbei resurrected. The suspicion started when BirdofPrey said "I am the alt Zonbei". He has created a game about himself (Zonbei) and shows he knows what a fabulous person he is.

Editor's note - This section was written by a fabulous person

Little known facts about Zonbei

Zonbei is actually listed in the Guinness Book of World Records and is being studied by doctors at the Mayo clinic for having the world's smallest male reproductive organ. If his fully-erect male reproductive organ were magnified 1000 times, it would still fit into the period at the end of this sentence.

Zonbei: The Game

On April 6th, 2008, Internet Hero BirdofPrey released a text adventure about the life of Zonbei. In this game, you play as Zonbei, (aka Caleb), and eventually die as him, by your own hand. Many have hailed the game as a brilliant and harrowing portrayal of a young man on the edge. It was known to move many to tears.