Well, if Amanda Bynes thought her week was shitty when she was booted from her flight for having an expired driver’s license, I’d hate to know what she thinks about it now. Drake’s No. 1 fan was arrested on charges of reckless endangerment, tampering with evidence and criminal possession of marijuana last night after the doorman at her West 47th Street apartment building in New York City called the cops because she was allegedly smoking pot in the lobby. I know, I’m shocked that it was just weed, too.

After Amanda went back up to her apartment, the police officers said that her apartment “reeked of marijuana” when she opened her door, and it didn’t help that they noticed her bong was out. But being the crafty devil that she is, Amanda allegedly chucked it out the window. Before she was booked, Amanda was taken to a hospital for psychiatric evaluation, while one of those Old West undertakers was chiseling a tombstone outside.

is now under investigation for getting into a fight with Frank Ocean early this morning in a West Hollywood parking lot over a parking spot. “The altercation allegedly led to Chris Brown punching the victim,” according to the sheriffs department.

It’s not clear of course if Brown is guilty or not, but that motherfucker is guilty and is a piece of shit. He always acts repentant then goes right back to being a thug dickhead. I bet if you counted he would have the exact same number of court appearances as he does normal looking suits.

Bronson Pelletier played this guy in the Twilight movies, one of the many characters who turned into big mean dogs. But he wasn’t pissing on the carpet at LAX last week because he thought he was a dog, he was just incredibly drunk, despite denials to the contrary.

Luckily the security guards and cops here handled it well and were all men, because if a female security guard tackled a guy with his penis out, it would make her look kinda desperate.

LA may have almost a murder a day and 1,000 rapes a year, but what they don’t have is grown adults in a store that sells pornography masturbating in private (because it’s better to have them try to memorize the porn and then race home with an erection), but ‘Terminator 3′ star Nick Stahl had to learn the hard way. TMZ says…

LAPD undercover vice officers were conducting a routine check of an adult store in Hollywood around 6PM — and found Stahl alone in a private booth, watching a porno, and committing a “lewd act.”
(He) appeared to be “touching himself” and he was booked for lewd conduct … a misdemeanor.

Honestly, what is the private booth with porn for if not masturbating? Who else would use it? Porn quality control agents?

Last week Lindsay Lohan was arrested for assault again, and next week she’s due back in court for lying to police after her car crash in June, but what about this week? Well it’s only Monday but the IRS has seized her bank accounts to collect $233,000 in unpaid taxes from 2009 and unspecified amount in 2011. She is not being questioned about her taxes in 2010, which can only mean that there was some kind of clerical error.

Katt Williams was arrested last night in Seattle after threatening police with a pool cue during a bar fight and throwing cigarettes at a women as she got into her car (one of which hit her in the eye). This is just a few days after police had to chase him as he drove against traffic on a three-wheeler and slapped an employee (a plain clothes security guy by the looks of it) at Target.

Of course, I expect nothing less from, well, you know, “those” people. And by that I mean comedians.