Now you know why people say they are owned by their Newfs!
Well, this about sums it up...

The Newfoundland
is a giant breed dog.Males can be 28 to 32 inches tall, at the shoulders, and weigh from 120 to 180
pounds.Females
are generally smaller, ranging from 24 to 28 inches tall, at the
shoulders, and weighing 100 to 140 pounds.

Newfs come in several colors.The
recognized colors for the Newfoundland are black, brown, gray, and
white and black (Landseer) as approved by the AKC standard.

The Newfoundland dog originated in the Canadian province of the same
name.Newfs were
developed for heavy hauling and ship work.Eventually, they became famous for their water rescue
abilities.Their thick
hair coat is almost waterproof and protects them from frigid waters.Newfs love to swim and are natural retrievers.

The Newfoundland’sthick
hair coat is medium to long and should be coarse.The undercoat is very soft.They will shed their coats in the fall and again, very
heavily, in the spring.

Regular grooming is a must or the coat will get out of control very
quickly.

Newfoundlands also drool.There
will be drool on the floor, the furniture, the ceiling and every
occupant of a household that has a Newf.These are not dogs for neat people.

The average
lifespan of a Newf is 8 to 10 years but many Newfs are living to 12
and beyond because of improved genetics and nutrition.They can have many health problems including hip dysplasia,
heart abnormalities, allergies and cancer.
However, good breeding and screening practices of both adults and puppies
help to reduce to incidence of these problems. Hence the
recommendation to avoid pet shops and so-called backyard breeders. Veterinary costs are often increased due to their large size.Heartworm medication, anesthesia and antibiotic costs are all
dependent on the size of the dog.

How to tell if you're ready for a Newfoundland:

1) Lift a hundred pound bag of wet sand up and down the stairs

2) Push a hundred pound bag of wet sand into your car

3) Borrow a pony and purchase a Dremel and practice dremeling the pony's
hooves while on your hands and knees..be sure to remember to give him
carrots

4) Smear hair gel all over your walls and throw it on the ceiling and TV,
while you are at it... smear the lower half of all windows, curtains, and
glass doors

5) Wear old football cleats and run and slide on your wood floors

6) Smear your toilet seat in more gel and bits of mulch and grass

7) Throw away all light colored dress clothes, purses, and shoes

8) Rub fur and gel into the roof of your vehicle

9) Drip lotion out of the windows and down the sides of your car

10) At least twice daily drop that bag of wet sand on your bare foot

11) Shake balls of fur, mulch, and a bucket of dirt all over your house
daily (add water for rainy days) for variety add bits of toilet paper,
shaving cream, and feathers

12) Throw chains and some of that gel on your stainless steel appliances

13) Stand on your dishwasher door while it is opened

14) Practice repeating " NEWFOUNDLAND....no, it's not a Black Great
Pyrenees..150 pounds....4-8 cups a day....no, I don't have a saddle" over
and over with a smile

15) Volunteer at the zoo to help wash the large animals and clean up their
poop

16) Invite your friends over and have them all try to get in the bathroom
while you are using it

17) Throw muddy wet rocks on the floor and walk on it in bare feet in the
dark, you may not scream or you will wake someone

18) Have someone operate a chain saw outside your bedroom door all
night...record this and play it every night right next to your ear

19) Take a Nice long piece of rubber hose and go around smacking all the
coffee mugs off the end-tables and hit any close male in the privates and
just smack your own legs a few times

20) Take shampoo, egg whites, and a gal of water and make big pools on your
tile floors.....run through this windmilling your arms and yelling whoopeee

21) Pull back your sheets and fill your bed with a bag of yard clippings and
sand, add a branch and a bone..... carefully re-make your bed...smear your
pillow with hair gel

22) Practice sleeping on the outside 6" of your bed with no pillow and that
wet bag of sand next to you...your blankets are to be under the bag of sand

23) Practice telling people that your husband does NOT beat you, that those
bruises are from your dogs

24) Stuff your washer with your best bedding and another one of those bags
of yard clippings and hair.....add a couple of branches and bones and run

25) Remove your normal dryer vent and just run a temporary hose out your
laundry window for venting hair

26) Without smiling, offer to drive your friends for a dressy night out

27) Bend all your eye-glasses and smear with more of that gel

28) Invest in a vacuum company

29) Invest in a dog food company

30) Purchase a vacation home for your veterinarian

31) Walk around your grocery store talking loudly on your cell phone saying
"bitch" and "sperm count" and "bitch panties" and "imported semen" over and
over

32) Lay a sand bag in front of your sink, in front of the refrigerator and
in front of the dishwasher.. ..now cook for 10 guests