The DudeRobe Is Here and It's Even Dumber Than the RompHim

It feels like an eternity, but it was only a little more than a month ago that the RompHim crawled into our collective consciousness like a short-panted nightmare. Did you think that was all the internet had to offer us? You poor soul. It can always get worse. Because the DudeRobe is a thing that exists, and somehow, it manages to be even dumber than the RompHim.

DudeRobe

DudeRobe isn't just a robe, though there is one of those. It's an entire lineup of towel-lined loungewear—from robes and hoodies to shorts and pants—designed for bros. Because apparently normal robes are just too ladylike for true dudes. No, seriously: The brand's Kickstarter ad actually says, point blank, "Bathrobes are too girly." Wow.

DudeRobe was created, I can only assume, to answer the question, "What if I like to be dry, but I don't understand how to use a towel?" Or, possibly, "What if someone made an entire clothing line to solve a problem that never existed in the first place?"

The whole idea is that you can exit the shower—or pool, or ocean—and immediately throw on some shorts and a hoodie, no intermediary step require. Does anyone do this? Is there really a guy out there so confounded by towels that he just says, "Fuck this, I'm putting on clothes and then sitting in a state of general dampness for the next couple of hours" and then does exactly that? If there is, someone please help him out. Teach him to use a towel. Or drip-dry. But don't get him a DudeRobe. We, as a society, are better than that.

Except, of course, that we're not. The DudeRobe is fully funded on Kickstarter and will be produced. Guys will have clothes that are not robes (and also one weirdly short actual robe) to wear after they shower, and those clothes will all say "DUDE" on them so dudes know that they ain't wearing no lady robe. Nope. It's a DudeRobe. And that's exactly the problem.

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