A travelogue of Dorado, as seen through the eyes of Tracy Valencia
on the last day of her eighteenth year, the memorial "Summer of 1998"
edition.
This file contains explicit spoilers for Adam Cadre's game "I-0". This is
not intended as a traditional "walk-through" but as a guide to finding Mr.
Cadre's clever text and also for exploring Tracy (ew, wash your hands after
reading that). This is not, therefore, a stepwise solution. Instead, I try
to give pointers to some of the sticky bits and to suggest interesting
things to do along the way.
For the lawyerly out there, this has been reviewed by Adam Cadre and is
made public with his knowledge, but he does not endorse this event or product
and should in no way be considered an official guide to the game I-0. If
daemons fly out of your nose while using this travelogue, it is definitely
not the responsibility of Mr. Cadre, so DON'T SUE HIM (that's important).
Mail me anyway; I haven't been able to do that yet.
I do not expect the travelogue to be complete in its present form.
If you have any corrections, additions or comments (especially for the
unanswered questions below) please send them to me at hollebon@cyberus.ca.
***
A plot tree for: the game I-0, "Jailbait on the Interstate"
by Adam Cadre
Availiable at: ftp://ftp.gmd.de/if-archive/games/infocom/I-0.z5
To start, for non-North American players:
Jailbait is that state in which nubile youngsters in the U.S. find
themselves when below the "age of consent" as defined by law, typically 18
years. Sexual congress with such a minor is termed "statutory rape" and is
usually illegal regardless of the willingness of the congressee. Attractive
juveniles, particularly female ones, are therefore termed "jailbait",
especially in bad movies from the '70's.
Interstates are limited access, high speed roads, often built as
four-lane divided highways.
It is my considered opinion that listening to Meatloaf's "Bat out of Hell"
album (and, in particular, "Paradise by the Dashboard Light") can considerably
enhance the I-0 game playing experience. Mr. Cadre, however, reserves judgement
on the question. "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" should not be considered in
anyway the official theme to his game, "I-0, jailbait on the interstate".
***
[On the road again]
at "The Highway"
You may want to have a look around inside your car--there are a
couple of items that are useful later. Specifically, look at the
radio.
You can hitch a ride from the side of the road.
See: [The pros and cons of hitchhiking].
If you wait until noon ---> *End* Suffering from heat stroke in hospital.
Get under something immovable. In the shade, a scorpion crawls onto
your leg:
Do anything but wait ---> *End* Wake up in hospital on a respirator.
Otherwise, wait one turn, then get up.
You can now wait for help.
See: [A cop, the driver, the mechanic and his brother].
Anytime during the game, cross the interstate without looking
left or right and you might ---> *End* in traction a hospital bed.
If you wait until 5:00pm ---> *End* lost and alone in the desert.
Sorta. (this will happen anywhere but home)
***
[The pros and cons of hitchhiking]
on the Interstate near your Mazonda, Fred's Garage or Willowbutton.
Thumb a ride or hitchhike or hitch a ride then say yes to guy or
get in subcompact:
Keep waiting or make advances toward Jack ---> *Dead* and buried in a
nameless desert grave
You can stop Jack before he pulls over (look under your seat or in
your purse). Did you remember to buckle up?
No ---> *End* in the hospital.
Otherwise, you're ok, just shaken, not stirred or impaled or
something. Exit the wreck.
If you stand around ---> *Busted!* by the man.
Feeling hungry? You might want to get something for that.
See: [Yo quiero Taco Junta].
If you wait until he pulls over before you club or mace Jack you
end up in the desert. Exit and head back to the highway.
If you panic when you see the rattle snake ---> You are *Dead*
and picked clean by vultures.
[I have been told by the gods (well, one Particular Being)
that there is way around the snake other than waiting, but I
have not the space to write it in the margin here.]
After the snake is gone, you might be thinking:
[Yo quiero Taco Junta], so head north.
***
[Yo quiero Taco Junta]
You can leave San Burro in the following ways:
Mace (or club) the server ---> *Busted!* by a slacker.
Hide in the bed of on of the pickups at the drive through
("get in bed") and end up at your [Front Porch].
Likewise, with some minor subterfuge, you can snag a ride home
with the nature lover. Don't say Jack never gave you not'in.
[A Mr. C____ remarks that there is at least one other way
forward from the Taco Junta. I can't find it though.]
___ Drive Thru ___ Route 911
/ Lane |
/ |
Drive Thru Taco |
Lane Junta |
| Counter |
| | |
Drive Thru ____ Parking ______ Route 911
Menuboard Lot |
|
I-0 (west) ___ Route 911
| |
I-0 (east) ___ Route 911
(Car wreck)
|
Desert
(mirage)
|
Desert
(snake)
|
Desert
|
Desert
(Jack's car)
***
[A cop, the driver, the mechanic and his brother]
Instead of hitchhiking, wait with your Mazonda until you hear a
siren. Cross the road (looking first) then wait for the policeman
to return.
If you:
Attempt sexual relations ---> *Busted!* You can talk the talk...
Become a kissing fool ---> *Busted!* for illegal use of the tounge.
Reveal your charms ---> *Busted!* Two days for looking so good!
Mace the pig! ---> *Busted!* and hospitalised too.
Use your feminine wiles or just ask and he'll call for a tow.
Back south across the road (look again) and wait for Larry.
If you greet Larry "au naturale" and wait too long
---> *Busted!* in the buff.
If you mace Larry ---> you're *Busted!*
If you mace, hit or get overly friendly with Larry while he's driving:
and your seatbelt is unfastened ---> *End* in traction.
and you're wearing your belt ---> *Busted!* for manslaughter.
"Fred's Garage":
I-0 (west)
|
I-0 (east)
|
Parking
/Lot \
/ | \
| Garage _ Office
| (Earl) (Fred)
\ | /
\Back of/
Garage
You can end your game here by:
Mace/hit Fred ---> *End* and he shoots you (its only a flesh wound).
Mace/hit Earl ---> *End* and a car falls on you
(but its only a flesh wound).
Mace/hit Larry ---> *Busted!* for assaulting a poor defenceless old man.
When this gets old, you can Hitchhike at the interstate.
See: [The pros and cons of hitchhiking]
If you've been nice to him you can take advantage of Larry's good
nature and he will drop you at Willowbutton.
See: [Let's make a deal]
Spoiler:
Remember, he has to go off to gas the truck, so you'll have
to wait for him to come back. Larry parks the truck at the
Back of the Garage.
Really, really explicit spoiler:
OK, ready?
Start in the garage's parking lot.
Look at all the compass directions given in the description.
One of the eight is missing.
Go that way. That would be SW, Tracy.
Wait until Larry shows up. If you've been messing around with Fred
and Earl, he's probably already there.
Ask him for help or turn on your waterworks. Larry's a real old
softie, isn't he?
***
[Let's make a deal] in downtown "Willowbutton"
Back of
/Store \
/ \
| Store |
| (Ed) |
\ | /
\Front /
Lot
|
I-0 (east)
(Bus Stop)
You can [Hitchhike] from I-0.
You can die here by not looking while crossing the road (d'oh!) or by
macing or hitting Ed ---> *Busted!* by a Twinkies hound[1].
Josh looks like a guy on the make. You can give him what he wants
---what's he trying to sell you? Otherwise you can "give" him
what 90% to 95% of all male teenagers want (according to the
latest surveys). If you're feeling cranky and just want to get
home, you can bully the poor boy.
The bus seems to come at 9 and 39 minutes after the hour. The driver
will eventually deliver you to your [Front Porch].
[1] With respect to the cop's question: "This is a convenience store, girlie.
Where do you think we hang out?" As any self-respecting citizen
knows, you find cops at DOUGHNUT shops, not CONVENIENCE stores
(unless, perhaps, the cop is in a Charles Bronson or Jackie Chan
movie). Sheesh! No wonder poor Tracy was confused.
[A Mr. C____ responds:
Doughnut shops are the cliche. Observation reveals that there are usually
about 150 police cars out in front of convenience stores, and surveillance
tapes have occasionally popped up on TV in which cops are seen walking into
the back room of convenience stores and not emerging for six to eight hours.]
***
[Front Porch]
Two scenes to go... and you can figure them out by yourself.
***
Have you tried:
Licking your lips? [A very appropriate default response here!]
Using the lip balm?
Crying?
Running around with few clothes on? (You haven't? Really? Why not?
Are you some kind of pervert or something?)
Looking in your pants or your shirt? Feeling around?
(See previous question.)
Figuring out how may synonyms there are for various, umm, acts?
Looking in the gloveboxes? (the Mazonda's, Jack's, Larry's)
Looking AT any glovebox?
Examining the things in Tracy's wallet?
Looking at Tracy's licence plate?
Looking under the hood or in the trunk of the Mazonda?
Crawling into the bed of the Red Pickup in the Taco Junta Parking Lot?
Kissing/licking the Taco Junta server?
Asking her about gum?
"Servicing" the server?
Have you eaten a taco?
Listening to the conversations at the Taco Junta menuboard and
the window?
Telling Larry you're in grade 13? (Unfortunately this does not win
the Obscure Trivia of the year award. "Canada" is not correct;
"Ontario" is. But then, what does Larry know from a Canuck?)
Listening to Larry's radio?
Kissing Earl?
Meeting Larry for second time "top-free"?
Talking to Josh about the tapes?
Revealing yourself to him?
Crying near Josh?
Taking the cola in the beverage case?
Getting on the bus in a state of dishabille?
Greeting your brother (un)dressed for your birthday party?
Looking at various features of the porch?
"Splittin' your kitten" in your room?
***
Some unanswered questions that you might wish to contemplate before
drifting off at night:
How many of the things in Tracy's car are red herrings?
Can you ever meet the driver of the black mustang?
Why doesn't flagging down traffic with your t-shirt (or shorts)
work? (Although try nude sunbathing at the highway.)
Can you ever talk to the supervisor of the Taco Junta?
Can Fred or Earl do anything of significance?
Can Ed?
Can you get a tape from Josh?
Can Noah be seduced out of the bathroom? He will stay in there
until the end of the game if you let him.
***
Finis.
Revised: August, 1998 (Original: February, 1997).
This is not copyrighted by Bruce Hollebone