Michael Hogan reviews the second episode of The Voice UK, which featured an
audition from soul singer Kym Mazelle.

Tonight’s epic episode of The Voice (BBC One) was an improvement on last week’s series opener but still exhibited many of the show’s flaws: over-long, over-positive, over-worthy… And simply not as entertaining as Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway over on the other side.

There was some decent talent on show, sure. Trevor Francis – not the first million pound footballer, sadly – opened proceedings and had a strong soulful voice. “I literally dropped dead,” said judge Danny O’Donoghue, as “literally”-phobes gnashed their teeth. Self-styled rock’n’roll chef Ragsy (“as in scruffy jeans”) from Aberdare (“Yabba-dabba-dare”) had his shirt buttoned up wrongly, a nice line in banter and was the night’s most likeable character.

Boyfriend/girlfriend duo Smith & Jones harmonized sweetly but were nauseatingly clingy. Liam Tamne showed impressive vocal range, even though he over-sang so much that the melody of Kate Bush’s This Woman’s Work got lost amid the gymnastics.

Of the rejected acts, the one that caused most consternation was soul diva Kym Mazelle. She performed on several house hits in the late 80s and early 90s but this attempted comeback flopped, mainly due to her baffling Johnny Cash song choice. The judges looked distinctly awkward when they realised who they’d rejected.

Geordie belter Lorraine Crosby, at 52 the same age as Mazelle, was also snubbed, making one wonder if the judges are reluctant to turn when they hear an older female voice. Twenty years ago, Crosby performed uncredited on Meat Loaf’s I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That) and unconvincingly insisted, “I’m not bitter about it”. Therein lies another of the show’s problems – too many hopefuls with music industry experience, so it seems less like a search for undiscovered raw talent and more like a last chance saloon.

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The judges continued to be unrelentingly positive, even when they hadn’t pushed their buttons. As they gushed praise, it begged the question: “If they were that good, why didn’t your chair spin?” There were also a few disingenuous references to last year’s winner, Leanne Mitchell, with judge Will.i.am even claiming the show was “just the beginning of her journey”. Viewers know full well it’s been quite the opposite. It was reported earlier today that Mitchell has resorted to singing at birthday parties.

The gnomic Will.i.am did, however, provide most of the show’s more amusing moments, including the phrase: “I ain’t trying to sell it, I’m just trying to tell it, if you don’t hear I’ll yell it.”

The show ended on an annoying cliffhanger as Caernarfon crooner Alys Williams, who choked with nerves last year, returned in triumph. All four judges wanted her, so she could choose which team to join – and took 23 minutes to do so. Even though we were only shown “highlights’”, it still felt like longer. And she opted for Tom Jones anyway, as all Welsh singers seem legally obliged to do.

With clunky production misjudgments like these, one fears for The Voice in the ratings – and even more so next week, when it’s scheduled against Simon Cowell’s variety behemoth Britain’s Got Talent. One contestant tonight, Hartlepool teenager Nick Dixon, was told to come back next year. On its current creaky form, it’s looking optimistic to assume this show will still be around next year.