Woman Killed by Falling Subtitle in Hamburg Cinema

Greta Finklebaum was pronounced dead at the scene after being struck in the temple by the word “Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz” which was so heavy it literally slid off the screen into the auditorium. Unfortunately for Mrs Finklebaum she happened to choose this moment to get up out of her seat and walk to the lavatory. Eye witness Gunter Weiner explains what he saw. happened next.

“It vas so dark ve didn’t see a zing!” He said. “But zere vas a scream unt a splatty sound…yah!”

Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz a word referring to British Beef and Mad Cow disease is seldom used because there are so many letters involved. During the Beef crisis in 2008 an auto cue being used by Helmut Kohl bent backwards and snapped when the word appeared on the screen causing much merriment and thigh slapping.

School chilren using the word have been known to pass out when attempting to type the word and in some towns it comes with a public health warning and students are advised to take a break half way through.

Aware of the danger, operatives at the cinema had take extra precautions to ensure that Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz bolted to the screen with titanium rivets but admit that they were not surprised that it fell off.

“It iz just too big for ze screen!” said Heinkel Humvee, a projectionist.

The word appeared during a film entitled “Rinderwahnsinn junge Dame Abenteuer” which translates literally as ‘Mad Cow Young Lady Adventure’. One can only guess what a 43yr old widow was doing watching a film of this nature.