Abel to Yzerman

In a stunning decision from the NHL front office in Pittsburgh, midget commissioner Gary.Ass Bettman announced just moments ago that Sidney Crosby has been named Cosmopolitan Magazine's Man of the Decade and that the NHL playoffs will start this evening. First round matchups will be announced thirty minutes before game times. If any visiting team can't make it to their scheduled game, that round will be postponed until the new glossy Crosby posters have been completely reviewed in Bettman's private office, with soft lighting.

None of that is true, except the part about Bettman being a midget, the Cosmo award for Rosby, the poster thing and the soft lighting. So, the playoffs aren't really starting tonite.

But if they were?

The Wings would be playing Vancouver. Is that some sort of crazy-ass coincidence or what?

Nuts.

Two of them. If Luongo has those, he's in tonite because of the violation Detroit levied upon him the last time out.

Whatever. The Wings, because they did last night, can score on the power play, win on the road and profess allegiance to their coach.

It's a late one and I'm guessing, maybe, two of you are sober. Have at it, by god. It's a Live Blog, bitches.

Comments

Posted by
stonehands-78
from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 03/16/13 at 08:51 PM ET

I’m listening to the Michigan/Western game, which Michigan leads 5-1 early in the third. I think someone said this last night in the LB, but I’ll say it again. If this year’s Michigan team can turn things around the way they have, the Wings sure as hell can too.

I’m recording the game to watch in the AM. Too tired to stay up. Have fun, y’all.

LET’S GO RED WINGS !!!!!

Posted by
MsRedWinger
from the State where Tigers roam in the Spring on 03/16/13 at 08:56 PM ET

Posted by
TheRealYooper
from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 03/16/13 at 09:07 PM ET

Hey all, Finally a night with no plans that I can LB. Wife and I used a gift card at bevmo so the pregame is in full swing. Drinking sunflowers, some olde pre-prohibition cocktail (allegedly). Damn good stuff.

Can ya interpolate that for us non pharmacists Cap’n? Kate is spot on with the ethnocentric Babbletispeak. Probably hates Hakan Andersson for bringing this team all of its Eurotrash players. Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 03/16/13 at 06:35 PM ET

CN, Kate’s comments on Babs jingosim reminded me of Don Cherry, so Cherrycock of Babcherry. And the latin was a riff off of SNL’s “if it’s not scottish, it’s crap,” but Canadian of course.

The Wings have every reason to lose tonight so I fully expect the opposite. Actually I just wanna see a good game.

Posted by
calquake
from a.k.a. Uniquake, workin' on my manifesto on 03/16/13 at 10:11 PM ET

I’m listening to the Michigan/Western game, which Michigan leads 5-1 early in the third. I think someone said this last night in the LB, but I’ll say it again. If this year’s Michigan team can turn things around the way they have, the Wings sure as hell can too.

Much like the Wings and their streak, UM has a 22 year streak of making the NCAA playoffs. Red and the Boys will have to win the final CCHA tourney to keep that streak alive. Go Blue!

About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com