Beauty of Boundaries

Purposeful Pathway is a haven for faith-based entrepreneurs. Part of my mission is equipping faith-based businesses with information that is practical, actionable and Scriptural.

The theme of this post is the “beauty” of boundaries.

Boundary. The word often sounds cold and hard, doesn’t it? And yet, as I am sure you have, I have found there is a beauty to boundaries!

But before we explore this beauty, let’s take a look at what is a boundary. Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines “boundary” as “something that indicates or fixes a limit or extent.”

This is a helpful starting point, but what does this definition mean from an emotional and spiritual standpoint? According to Nina W Brown, Ed.D., there are four main types of psychological boundaries: soft, spongy, rigid and flexible. The ideal boundaries are flexible, as the individual chooses what to let in and what to keep out.

In reference to letting in, Jesus told us “it is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” (Matthew 4:4) In reference to keeping out, the Scriptures guide us to “above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23) Faith-based boundaries let in that which is from God and keep out that which is not from Him.

Healthy boundaries allow us to let in the projects, people and positions that will best glorify God and serve others; and, on the other side of the coin, healthy boundaries will allow us to keep out the projects, people and positions that are not best in glorifying God and serving others. It may seem generous to give all that others ask of us; yet we learn quickly that devoting our time, money and energy in the wrong places (or in the wrong proportions) only distracts us from pouring our resources into the right places. Healthy boundaries are a powerful part of a purposeful pathway!

We have looked at what boundaries are and why they are important. How can we better enjoy the beauty of boundaries in our businesses?

Determine that boundary-establishment and boundary-maintenance is important for your business (and your life). Without making this determination, you will have no incentive to move forward. Prayerfully commit to making and maintaining clearer and stronger boundaries.

Ask the Lord where weak boundaries have been detrimental in business and in life. Perhaps, for example, you find yourself discounting your services often. It may seem generous to do this, yet we actually disempower our clients when we buy into stories of poverty rather than hold them accountable to a new vision of abundance in Christ. We receive what we believe, and we get what we expect; holding boundaries around our fee structures allows us to raise the expectations of and build the faith in our clients.

Determine the specifics of setting boundaries in those areas. What will it look like to create boundaries in the areas you have listed? Some specific examples may be: standing firm on pricing, disengaging from people who demand too much of your time, and turning off your phone ringer in order to return calls when it is best for your business schedule. Specific action steps are the concrete materials that build your boundaries.

Prepare for others’ reactions in the initial stages. When we draw boundaries, it is often unsettling for those around us. Do not be discouraged by receiving some “backlash” such as pushing or complaining from others. Take heart; this will diminish. Eventually others will realize that your boundaries are firmly set, and – more often than not – they will respect you for this.

Prepare for discomfort internally. Yes, expect a reaction from yourself! Setting and maintaining boundaries is generally not an easy and comfortable process, particularly in the onset. Trust that the discomfort will pass and that it is well worth the fruit borne of a healthy boundary.

Document your progress. Journal specifically about what boundaries you set, when you set them, how you established them, how you maintained them, what reactions you received, and the positive fruit borne from them.

Bask in the beauty of the boundary! Enjoy the fruits of your labor! It is wonderfully empowering and enriching for you and for all around you when you set healthy boundaries. Document the fruit in your journal and, most importantly, lift praise to God!

I am excited for you as you build beautiful boundaries for your benefit, for the blessing of others and for God’s glory!

If you need help in establishing beautiful boundaries for your business, I would be happy to help in this powerful process.I offer to you a complimentary “Boost my Business” session. You will walk away with clarity, renewed vision and a completely customized clear-cut next-step action plan. Simply email me at caroline@purposefulpathway.com to schedule a time or click here.

Let’s pray. Heavenly Father, we thank You and praise You for nourishing us with Your Word. Help us, O Lord, to let in that which is from You and to keep out that which is not. Help us to embrace those things which will further our businesses for Your glory. Strengthen us as we establish healthy boundaries to bless others and build Your Kingdom. We love You with all our hearts, souls, minds and strength. In Jesus’ Name we pray. Amen.

Do You See What I See?

Image courtesy Dan at www.freedigitalphotos.net

“…fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” ~ Hebrews 12:2

Dancing Nigh to Heaven

Image courtesy Ron Bird at www.freedigitalphotos.net

“For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.” ~ Romans 1:20

Free Webinar: How to Have Beautiful, Healthy Hair

Guest Post by Darlene Alexander

Heavenly Essence, Inc. is hosting their very first free webinar alongside Hair Artist Association CEO Charlotte Howard. This webinar will be the beginning of how the company plans to branch out more into the field of hair care, and expand its content to reach a wider audience.

The first webinar will cover the subject of how to have beautiful, healthy hair. It’ll contain information that listeners will be able to use in order help recover hair from a damaged or frizzy state, promote healthy hair naturally, and maintain manageable hair.

In the webinar “How to Have Beautiful, Healthy Hair,” the audience will learn the following:

What is healthy hair?

What it takes to achieve having beautiful hair

The importance of using the right products to have healthy hair

Using the right hairstyling tools in between salon visits

And more…

Scheduled Date & Time of Webinar: July 23rd at 7:00PM Pacific Time

Click on this link to register for free, and save your spot to receive valuable hair care information!

Discouraged by Lack of Progress?

Guest Post by Ann Musico of 3D Vitality Health Coaching

Have you made the commitment to change your diet and instill healthier habits? Have you begun drinking more water or exercising 30 minutes every day or eliminating sugary junk food or eating a healthy breakfast daily? Congratulations! That’s awesome.

Did you expect to look and feel SO much different immediately and now after a few weeks you are discouraged because you aren’t experiencing the huge changes you expected? I recently read about the Chinese Bamboo and I believe it will encourage you.

The Bamboo seed is a nut with very tough skin. After it’s planted, it must be watered and fertilized. However, after the first year it seems “nothing is happening.”

In year two, watering and fertilization must continue. Still it appears that “nothing is happening.”

This same process is repeated in years three and four and it still seems that “nothing is happening.” You can sing to it, talk to it, tell it how beautiful it will be – but you will still see no change.

Fast forward to year five. “All of a sudden,” stalks bursts through the ground and within six weeks the Bamboo grows 90 feet tall. All the time it seemed nothing was happening, PLENTY was happening. You just couldn’t see it!

Success in any area of life, including health is very much like this. If you are truly committed to making the changes, your patience may be tested. You must stay committed and persistent even when you don’t see or feel any progress. It all comes down to faith. Do you really believe what you’ve chosen to do is worthwhile? Is it in your best interests? Will it benefit you? If you can honestly say yes to those questions, then stop looking for signs and just keep on doing the right thing. All of a sudden the benefits will become obvious!

What health improvements have you tried to make that seem to be yielding no results?

“Exhaling” for Excellence

Letting Go for Living Well

Purposeful Pathway is a haven for faith-based entrepreneurs. Part of my mission is equipping faith-based businesses with information that is practical, actionable and Scriptural.

The theme of this post is “exhaling” for excellent results.

Summertime is here in New England, and I am savoring the season! Now that the cold winter months have long passed, my windows are wide open to receive the soft summer breezes. This spirit of openness, of blissfully breathing in and out, has inspired a season of letting go.

It is important to both inhale and exhale for a healthy business, healthy body and healthy life. “Exhaling” for business and life comes in the form of decluttering. It is easy to hold onto things. After all, doesn’t it seem wasteful to let go of things that have value or serve a function? And doesn’t it feel almost irreverent to give away things that hold sentiment and memories? Yet, strong and valid as these feelings may be, the model of holding onto everything is simply not sustainable. This is true not only in our homes but also in our businesses…and in our lives overall. How incredibly freeing it is to simply relax, release and refresh. How beautiful it is to breathe in…and breathe out.

We all know what a cluttered home looks like, but what does a cluttered business look like? One symptom of a cluttered business the to-do list treadmill. Going and going breathlessly with an endless string of tasks is often a sign that there are simply too many to-do’s on the list. This cluttered schedule leads to not only a lack of clarity but also a lack of joy. Being busy does not equate to running a business, and the quantity of our tasks does not equate to the quality of service or value we provide. A cluttered business does not serve anyone well.

Another symptom of a cluttered business is stagnancy. Envision a young plant struggling to grow amidst weeds. It has to compete for sunlight and also for space to extend its roots. It makes sense to weed the flower garden; so too it makes sense to weed our business garden. Experiencing business stagnancy is frequently an indication that old practices, beliefs or systems are stifling the growth of our business blossoms.

What are the weeds that may clutter our business? Often in business we hold onto things that do not serve us, our clients and God in the best way possible because we see those things as having value. Indeed those “weeds” may have some value, but they are taking space away from the blossoms that have greater impact and value. The weeds can range from workspace clutter to outdated business practices to faulty internal beliefs. Specifically and respectively, examples can be out-of-date forms; spending too much time in a marketing routine that no longer bears much fruit; holding onto a belief that one has to labor endlessly to see true results.

Okay, we have looked at what business clutter is and why it is important to remove; but just how do we declutter our business? How do we “exhale” for excellence?

The key to decluttering is detachment by grace of the Divine. Decluttering and detaching are two different things. Decluttering is the action of letting go, and detachment is a state of being. One can declutter without being detached; but decluttering will not be permanent, nor will it bear the same level of fruit, unless decluttering flows from a heart of detachment.

Here are seven steps for detaching in order to declutter your business:

Thoughtfully and prayerfully list any items, ideas, practices, policies and perhaps clients for which detachment would be for the highest good. Seek God’s guidance and be patient in heeding His voice. Often the items to let go are not obvious.“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” (James 1:5) Having prayerfully created this list, commit to yourself and to God to exercise detachment in those areas.

Ask the Lord what the attachment to these various things has served. Journal about these attachments, as knowing why you are attached will help you to sever the attachment. For example: one may be afraid to let go of a certain marketing practice due to fear of losing clients in the transition (realizing, however, in the long run this marketing practice is not effective). Perhaps posting every day on a blog worked well in the initial stages of business, but this practice is no longer the best use of time.

Prayerfully attach one’s self all the more to Christ. The more we detach, the more we need to attach ourselves to Christ. The ultimate goal is to be completely detached in spirit to all things and solely attached to Him. This is a critical step and one that will require much prayer. “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:1-2)

Document a plan of how you will let go and when the phases of detachment will occur. If there are items to clear out of the office, which dates will you sort through these items? Which dates will you drop off items to charity? If there is an employee who is not a good fit for your business mission, when will you have a conversation with him or her? If you will post less frequently on your blog, when will you start the new schedule? When will you notify your following and colleagues, if necessary?

Implement the plan and do not look back. This is a challenging step! Yet, with the preparation in the previous steps, you will be all the more comfortable with letting go. You will be all the more braced to breathe out. Detachment can be painful and seem incredibly counterintuitive, particularly if there appears to be “negative” fallout at the beginning. Remember that transitions are not easy. Yet also remember why you have committed to detaching from these items; pray for God’s graces to strengthen you. “Seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continually!” (1 Chronicles 16:11)

Celebrate your success and open your heart to new things! Celebrate that cleaner office, that streamlined process, and that simplified schedule. Open your heart to God’s blessings that flow in the form of items that are better suited to you and your purpose. Letting go of those things that do not fit provides space for those things that do fit.

Give glory to God! This is the crowning step. “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31) Jesus is our all in all, and the process of detachment can be smooth in Spirit when we are filled with Him. Truly we lack nothing, as He is our Shepherd and our Source of perfect providence.

Bonus Step: Journal your successes in detachment, as these success stories will serve not only to reward you but also to remind you in the future of the benefits of taking the time to exhale.

Summer, winter, spring or fall, I encourage you to exhale for excellence in business and in life! You will enjoy the divine bliss and delightful blessing of detachment. These are precious blossoms along the purposeful pathway.

If you need help in exhaling to excel in your business, I would be happy to help in this powerful process.I offer to you a complimentary Boost my Business session. You will walk away with clarity, renewed vision and a completely customized next-step action plan. Simply email me at caroline@purposefulpathway.com to schedule a time or click here.

Let’s pray. Heavenly Father, we thank You and praise You for richly supplying our every need. Forgive us, Father, when we cling to things rather than cling to You. Help us to recognize those things from which need to detach and grant us the grace to do so. Allow us to exhale that which we do not need so that we may inhale that which we do need: You. Our one desire is to bring You glory. Bless us with bearing beautiful fruit for Your Name’s sake. We love You with all our hearts, souls, minds and strength. In Jesus’ Name we pray. Amen.

Don’t Eat the Meatloaf!

Guest Post by Heart and Soul Health Coach Mike Fenton

Meatloaf is certainly one of the great American comfort foods and one that most of us have enjoyed at one time or another. But why do we eat comfort foods to begin with? Well each person is different but the underlying reason I believe is the same, it is to comfort us, hence the name comfort food. But do we really want to look to food to ease our problems and comfort us? Sadly for some their answer is yes. People eating their troubles away are just as common as an alcoholic drinking their problems away.

The problem with that strategy is that the comfort we receive is short lived. We also find that eating or drinking our problems away does not address the root of the problems we’re having and therefore leaves us vulnerable to have the same situation happen to us again and again.

When a decision is made to treat the symptom and not the cause we find ourselves forgetting about determining the root of the problem and instead we take the easiest way out and “eat the meatloaf”.

There are a good number of people that could get themselves off prescription medications and save a lot of money simply by eating better and having some form of exercise as part of their daily life. Yes it requires an effort on our part but the rewards make it well worth the extra effort.

If you have not yet noticed we are entering into the age of self-accountability. WE are going to have to be responsible for maintaining good health or we WILL pay the consequences for not doing so such as:

Paying higher healthcare insurance premiums.

Paying increased prescription medication costs.

May affect our ability to retire from work.

Yes our ability to retire from work! I have seen more folks that have had to go back in to the work place in order to get healthcare coverage from an employer because they could not afford to purchase it on their own.

Unfortunately,most folks don’t take this into consideration because they have no idea just how expensive it is going to be.

Make the decision today to live your life in the state of “Total Wellness”, start to live life on your own terms. It will taste better than any meatloaf you’ve ever had and the comfort you receive will be eternal.

My choice; my responsibility; win or lose, only I hold the keys to my destiny.

-Elain Maxwell

Mike Fenton is a certified health coach who inspires, empowers & helps people create desired lifestyle changes that will give them a healthier alternative to prescription medications.using the teachings of: “Total Wellness” when mind, body & soul all come together as one in good health.

Get Off the Treadmill

(…and onto Solid Ground)

Purposeful Pathway is a haven for faith-based entrepreneurs. Part of my mission is equipping faith-based businesses with information that is practical, actionable and Scriptural.

The theme of this post is getting off the treadmill.

Have you ever felt you were on a treadmill in your business – or in your life? Going and going and going with task after task after task? If you have, I can relate completely. It seems you are breathlessly running with very little fruit to show for it. My encouragement to you, garnered from my own experience, is to get off the treadmill.

Okay, I realize that is easier written than done. After all, if you could simply get off the treadmill, wouldn’t you have done so already?

Yet sometimes we do not realize we are on a treadmill, and sometimes it is very difficult to get off its endless movement. But there is good news: it is most certainly possible to accomplish, and doing so gets easier with practice.

When we are on a treadmill of endless to-do’s, we often become disconnected from our businesses, our clients and our overall vision. We become knee-deep in doing, doing, doing, and we lose perspective and traction.

Take a moment now to envision someone running on a treadmill. Running and running and running. That person, despite all her exertion, goes nowhere! In getting off the treadmill and in hitting solid ground, she can walk (rather than breathlessly run) and make substantial progress on her journey.

So how can you get off the treadmill and get on solid ground?

1. Recognize you are on the treadmill. If you recognize you are not bearing fruit consistent with your level of labor, this is a red flag of treadmill-traveling. Some projects, of course, require substantial upfront work. You, however, know the difference between delayed fruit and minimal fruit. Ask yourself: are my efforts being channeled in the most effective way? Are my tasks bringing me to my goals in the most efficient manner? Am I connected to my vision in my daily projects? Or am I lost in a tunnel of tasks?

2. If you are on the treadmill, commit to getting off it. It is not easy to simply stop. Indeed stepping off the treadmill can be rather dizzying. So commit to making the change despite the discomfort.

3. Take a break to breathe. Ask God for guidance in how long this “breathing” time period may be: perhaps a couple hours, perhaps a couple days, perhaps a couple weeks. It may seem counterintuitive to stop working in order to heighten productivity; yet the fruit borne from careful planning and refining will far outweigh that which is borne from treadmill to-doing.

4. Establish boundaries on this breathing time. Gracefully notify others about your “breathing” time period. Send emails, make phone calls, set up away messages, prepare your support team and notify colleagues and clients. Most importantly, respect the boundary yourself. Remember to use “no” in a positive way. Journal about your emotions, discomforts and discoveries; document ways in which you can maintain boundaries for this time.

5. Take the time to prayerfully reconsider your activities. Ask God for His guidance. Listen to His voice. “He says, ‘Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” (Psalm 46:10) Be open to shocking revelations that may steer you in a completely different direction. If you have hit a plateau or have found your labors to be relatively fruitless, perhaps God does not want you to continue moving in a particular direction. Your “being stuck” is His attempt to get your attention and steer you elsewhere. It is His gift to you.

6. Create a plan with the revelations God has shared with you. Re-write your vision and mission statements, goals and daily action steps. “For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’” (Luke 14:28-29) Take the time to thoughtfully and prayerfully plan your steps (while submitting to God’s will and accepting He may steer you away from this plan in the future).

7. Joyfully hit that solid ground! With your new plan, refreshed vision and aligned steps, go ahead and walk (and sometimes run) on solid ground. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6) Enjoy the beauty of traveling the most effective, efficient, powerful, meaningful and purposeful pathway.

Getting off the treadmill often requires more work than staying on the treadmill, as it involves a conscious, disciplined effort to stop the momentum of fruitless (or low fruit-bearing) activities. Yet, as all things, doing so grows easier with practice…and is made possible with God’s grace.

I promise you will find treasures when gaining traction on solid ground.

If you need help in getting of the treadmill and getting on solid ground, let me get you started. I offer to you a complimentary Boost my Business session. You will walk away with clarity, renewed vision and a completely customized next-step action plan. Simply email me at caroline@purposefulpathway.com to schedule a time or click here.

Let’s pray: Heavenly Father, thank you tremendously for the gift of walking purposefully in you. How blessed we are by Your love and providence. Open our eyes to any areas in which we may be stuck in a treadmill of to-do’s. Help us to see Your way, the perfect way, that we may channel our efforts and energies most effectively and powerfully for Your glory. We love You, and we desire to bring honor to You in all we do. In Jesus’ Name we pray. Amen.