Product Description

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What if one word could change everything for your marriage? According to best-selling author Gary Thomas, it can - and that word is "cherish!" Drawing from decades of experience with couples, he believes that when you and your spouse choose to notice, appreciate, honor, and encourage one another it will bring hope, light, and life into your relationship.

Product Information

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Format: DRM Protected ePubVendor: ZondervanPublication Date: 2017

ISBN: 9780310347279ISBN-13: 9780310347279UPC: 025986347277

Publisher's Description

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"Most marriages survive by gritting teeth and holding on. But marriages can and will not only survive but thrive when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another."

Those are the powerful words of bestselling author Gary Thomas in his newest bookCherish. And in a world desperate for marriage redemption, it is needed now more than ever.

Thomas shows that although there are a countless number of marriages consisting of two people just going through the motions, there are real ways this pattern can be reversed: when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another in proven, loving, and everyday actions and words.

Through personal stories and real world examples, Thomas proves what husbands and wives can begin doing today to turn their marriage aroundeven a marriage marred by neglect and disrespect.

So how do you cherish your spouse? Thomas will show you how going out of your way to notice them, appreciate them, honor them, encourage them, and hold them close to your heart will bring hope, light, and life into your marriage.

Author Bio

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Gary Thomas is a writer-in-residence who also serves on the teaching team at Second Baptist Church in Houston, Texas, and the author of eighteen books, including the bestselling Sacred Marriage, that have sold more than a million copies worldwide and have been translated into a dozen languages. He and his wife, Lisa, have been married for thirty years.

Wood stoves do not render their comforting warmth without regular tending. Fires must be coaxed along with frequent ministrations, and I never give this much thought unless my good husband is away, for he miraculously tends to this important detail, and our house stays cozy and warm. Similarly, since the beginning of our marriage, he has changed the oil in our vehicles, paid our bills, balanced the checkbook, and locked the doors every night, leaving me with the delightful sense of being safe, cared for: cherished.

Gary Thomas writes that this variety of practical love is reassuring to me because it demonstrates that our life together is a priority that is worthy of my good husbands time and effort. Now, with his one-word title, Cherish, he challenges readers to go beyond merely loving our spouses and to live our way into a marriage that feels more precious, more connected, and more satisfying.

Many marriage vows include a promise to cherish, but do we understand what that looks like from the perspective of our spouse, the cherished one? Gary unpacks the concept in terms of learned behaviors that can change everything in a marriage:

Cherishing means learning to hold someone dear.

The Message to the Cherished: You dont have to be anyone other than who you are.

When we allow our spouse to define beauty (or handsome-ness) in our minds, we have begun to rewind history to Eden when each was the only one in the world to the other. Choosing anew every day the one you chose on your wedding day is the antidote to disappointment, discontentment, and critical comparing.

Cherishing means learning to showcase your spouse.

The Message to the Cherished: How can I support you today? How can I make your day better?

For the believer, this includes enhancing one anothers ministry opportunities. We want our beloved to shine! It is based upon the assumption that we have ended the love affair with ourselves. Gary uses the vivid example of a male ballet dancer rejoicing in the standing ovation a ballerina receives because he has supported, tossed, caught, turned, and showcased her. Its all about helping your spouse to realize his/her potential in the world.

Cherishing means noticing and honoring each other.

The Message to the Cherished: I will put your needs above everything else.

Heres the truth in a nutshell: You can honor someone without cherishing them, but you cant cherish someone without honoring them. Wives will feel noticed if their words are taken seriously; husbands are looking for physical affection. For either gender, we honor our spouses when we take an active interest in what interests them.

Cherishing is about protecting each other and killing contempt.

The Message to the Cherished: When I scan you, I will be looking for something to praise not to criticize.

Gary traces the tragic journey from newlywed infatuation through disappointment, frustration, and bitterness to contempt, which is the single biggest threat to a marriages survival and happiness. Practicing fierce gratitude is the antidote to contempt.

Cherishing teaches us to indulge our spouses and, thus, to help heal their spiritual wounds.

The Message to the Cherished: I am committed to your healing and wholeness.

When we nurture our spouse, we provide a picture of Gods cherishing heart. We make our spouses needs a priority and work to discover what actions we can take to help them address their weaknesses and to breathe life into them every day.

Cherishing teaches us to carefully and deliberately use our ears and our words to express our affection.

The Message to the Cherished: I will be deliberate and specific in verbal affirmation and mirror Gods acceptance and affirmation in my words and in my tone.

This may not come naturally, but developing (and maintaining) a curiosity toward our spouses words and activities communicates value. Deitrich Bonhoeffer sums this up beautifully:

Just as love to God began with listening to His Word, so the beginning of love for the brethren is learning to listen to them.

Even unintentional verbal slights can be devastating to a marriage.

Cherishing is about treating our spouse as a unique individual.

The Message to the Cherished: I will help you complete your one-of-a-kind story.

Its time to cast aside generalizations and stereotypical assumptions about what all men or all women do. Understanding bypasses judgment and empathizes while genuinely investing the effort to understand and to accept.

Cherishing means being patient with your spouses sins.

The Message to the Cherished: We both stumble in many ways. I will thank God for you, and, together, we will grow in holiness.

Gary offers six words that can save the day: This is how your spouse stumbles. Accepting that your spouse will never be perfect makes allowance for imperfection without diminishing our appreciation. Apart from this, it is impossible to maintain a cherishing attitude. Furthermore, it is counterproductive to think, I could cherish them if only they wouldnt do x, y, or z. Half of holiness centers around being patient with other peoples sins.

As he did in Sacred Marriage, Gary Thomas has melded practical theology and behavioral principles to encourage believers along in a life that goes beyond the mere fulfillment of marriage vows. Just as my wood stove responds to regular tending by yielding comfort and warmth to my home, a cherishing mindset that is deeply rooted in the Gospel truth that we are continually cherished by God will result in a marriage that radiates a lifetime of warmth and love.

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This book was provided by Zondervan through the BookLookBloggers program in exchange for my review. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commissions 16 CFR, Part 255 : Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

The title of this book says it well: "Cherish: The One Word That Changes Everything for Your Marriage." In fact, as author Gary Thomas presents it, cherish could be the one word that changes everything in most of our meaningful relationships. We get to practice and perfect with our spouses, but many of the concepts in this book can be applied to other people we love, too.

"Cherish" is the sequel, of sorts, to "Sacred Marriage." In that book, Thomas explored learning to truly love your spouse. This book, of course, explores cherish. As Thomas explains it, "To truly cherish something is to go out of our way to show it off, protect it, and honor it. We want others to see and recognize and affirm the value that we see . . . when we cherish a person, we will put time, thought, and effort into honoring, showcasing, and protecting them . . . Learning to truly cherish each other turns marriage from an obligation into delight. It lifts marriage above a commitment to a precious priority." The chapters of this book tell couples how.

I highly recommend this book to all married couples, then to anyone who wants to learn better how to cherish people as Jesus does. Zondervan sent me a complimentary copy, so I could share this opinion with you.

More than love, "cherish" includes respect, gratitude, honor and adoration. When cherish is combined with love in a marriage, it has the power to change everything within that relationship. In his new book, Cherish, author Gary Thomas explores and shares the positive effect cherishing another person can have. With a faith-based backdrop, the word cherish is applied to many aspects within a marriage, abundantly coupled with personal stories, relevant analogies, beautiful words, ideas and actions, as well as lots of compassion and encouragement.

A PENNY FOR MY THOUGHTS:

Reading through the book Cherish, I found it to be a very smooth, interesting read but also one I was constantly shaking my head in agreement with. Trying to read only a few chapters at time so I had time to digest the material; unfortunately, it did not work that way as I was consistently starting the next chapter. Definitely a book for any stage of marriage, it would be perfect for a counseling session, pre-marriage workshop, a marriage ministry or even a sermon topic.

RATING:

5 (out of 5) pennies

*I received a complimentary copy of Cherish from BookLook Bloggers for my honest review*

This is a must read! It is simply fantastic. I love the personal stories from Gary and his wife. I love the action steps and points he makes. It's an all around book in that it's easy to read and apply. You will come back again and again to its words. It is so timely in our culture today and I'm thankful Mr. Thomas wrote it. It's wonderful to be reminded and taught about cherishing our spouse. I received a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review!