No
doubt hook-ups happen. And sometimes they can be okay, but you must
have both eyes wide open prior to taking a bedside tumble. In other
words, before you get jiggy with that hottie you just met, ask
yourself the following questions to keep your sex-pectations in
check.

Am I doing this for the right
reasons? If
your reason for a fling includes trying to wipe out the memory of an ex
or perhaps trying to get a date to like you as something more well,
chances are you should be keeping your clothes on. If you think that
having a fling will help you forget a love gone wrong, remember that if
you’re emotionally fragile, it may have the opposite effect (i.e.
you'll spend the whole time comparing this person to your ex and then
later on likely crying over what once was -- rebounds rarely erase "ex"
sex memories). And if you think that having sex with someone will make
them like you if you're on the fence keep this in mind . . . sometimes
sex is just sex. It might mean something to you but be more of an
athletic outlet to someone else. In other words, the ONLY way to say
"yes" to this is if you truly think you'll be okay if you never hear
from the person again. Otherwise, you might be setting yourself up for
emotional disaster after the physical pleasure is over.

Am I picking an appropriate
flinger? In
other words, deciding to "do it" with your best friend just because
you're both single and horny may not be the wisest choice. "Friends
with benefits" can become dangerous territory . . . especially if
you've been friends for a while. Here's the thing, once you cross THAT
line, your relationship will be different 12 hours later . . .
guaranteed. So, make sure you're prepared for the consequences of
whatever happens with whomever things happen. If this is a friendship
you cannot afford to lose, then you might want to think twice
(especially if there is any imbibing involved). Same thing goes for
work colleagues. On the flip side, picking a total stranger at a bar
may not be the best option either. What do you really know about this
person? It's important to keep personal boundaries in mind. However,
let's say you meet someone you're attracted to and you know that you
two won't be a long-term match but you can foresee some special times
spent together over a season (i.e. summer romance perhaps), well . . .
then as long as you go in knowing the parameters and you're okay with
the fact that this fling might prevent you from meeting Mr. or Miss
Right since you're "sort of" involved, then . . . the choice is yours.

Am I safe and protected? This
is pretty much the
MOST important fling thing. It's fine to have spontaneous fun but not
if the repercussions of that decision negatively impact your health or
life forever. Be smart, use protection and never go home with anyone
about whom you have ANY reservations. Listen to your instincts . . .
they're probably right.

Am I equipped to handle the
situation if my emotions DO
get involved? Here's the thing . . . even with the best of
intentions,
hormones can get involved. Oxytocin, otherwise known as the love
hormone, can trick you into thinking you're suddenly crazy about
someone after you've done the deed just because the hormone is released
when you're intimate. Don't try to make a relationship out of a no-win
situation just because he or she is amazing in bed. The other
attributes must be in place too. That said if your fling turns into
more and you're both on the same page about it . . . congratulations.
Sometimes life hands you little surprises. But recognize that if it's
not a two-way street well . . . that is the risk you took the minute
you decided to take things to another level. If you have any
reservations or think you might be crushed if your fling doesn't turn
into something else, better to say "no thank you" and look for
something more lasting. Because remember, it's your heart that you're
playing with and ultimately, the goal is happiness, not heartbreak.
Fling wisely!

Author BioKimberly
Dawn Neumann, co-author of Sex Comes First: 15 Ways to Help
Your Relationship . .
.
Without Leaving Your Bedroom, is a Broadway performer and highly
credited
dating/sex/relationship writer. Her work has appeared in Cosmopolitan,
Redbook, Marie Claire, Maxim, and more. She
lives in New York City.