/ One Liner Needed

One of the few things that I don't have in common with my brother in law is football. With him it's an obsession. Now he's a nice bloke and all that and I get on with him OK but such is his pre-occupation with football that if there is a match on tv it takes precedence over any social activities.

Now he knows that I have an intense loathing of football and generally he accepts that. However lately he has taken to making comments about it along the lines of(to me) "I bet you're realy excited about the (forthcoming) match" or "I bet your looking forward to seeing the match on tv". OK, such a remark once in a while can be laughed off but it's wearing a bit thin now that it's ann almost weekly thing.

I'm trying to thing of a comment that will send a message along the lines "OK I'm getting fed up with your silly comments" but I really don't want to upset him by being quite so blunt. Many UKCers are noted for their aptitude for one liners so I'd appreciate some help here.

ask if you can go round and watch the game with him. Then spend the entire time asking random questions, flicking channels etc.
if all goes well he will be to scared to ever mention it again in case you take it as an invite.

> (In reply to Submit to Gravity)
> [...]
>
> lose the words get, stuffed, you, and utter, and shout it at the very top of your voice, with your face an inch from his, spraying him with flecks of spittle in the process.
>
> have to say though, I do enjoy a match on the tv meself...

In reply to mypyrex:
I have no on liners for you, but I CAN commiserate with you, as I too can't see any point in watching football, and even more so now that the big teams appear to be mostly teams of foreign players , with foreign managers, who have interest only in getting their hands on the vast amounts of money they can make out of the game.
A fool and his money is soon parted, is my view of football supporters with their misplaced loyalty, a loyalty not in any way shared by their teams ' stars' as far as I can see.
In my view of the world, football supporters are wasting their hard earned cash on a bunch of 'here today gone tomorrow ' overpaid prima Donnas .

> (In reply to mypyrex) 'I would watch it but I have better things to do with my life'

That's gonna fill the room with laughter and positive vibes and in no way make you look like yooz a little way stuck up your own botty. Well done

However if I was too be slight vindictive, something like "mmm, I'm not sure yet, incidentally, how is that vicarious lifestyle working out for you?". Said in the most genuinely interested tone you can muster. He can't really slap you back from that even if he takes the self deprecating route.

In reply to Turdus torquatus:

> (In reply to mypyrex) 'and write c*nt in the notebook' and not show that to him..... perfect

> (In reply to mypyrex)
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> ask if you can go round and watch the game with him. Then spend the entire time asking random questions, flicking channels etc.

Don't forget to flick over to animal rescue or the news and jump out of your seat screaming every time something slightly bad or slightly good happens, with the ambiguous suggestion that you could do everything better than them. "NOooo, ah, f*ck, did you see that, did you see the way he announced those housing reforms, what an amateur. Who are ya, who are ya? David Cameron, suck my baws. No idea pal, no idea" etc.

In reply to mypyrex: Also every time you leave the room to get a beer start screaming once your out of sight, when he comes out and see's you rolling around in agony on the floor clutching your shins just get up and say you trapped your finger in the fridge then limp back to the sofa.

What Jim C said. My Father-in-Law is a massive Arsenal fan, but fortunately accepts I'd rather be out on my bike or watching the rugby

Why don't you just ignore his comments and change the subject - anything will do:

Him - "bet you're looking forward to the game..."
You - "Have you seen the new boots they're selling in Cotswolds now..."

Or you could try what I said to my Auntie when I got fed up of her constantly asking "do I need to buy a hat yet" and reply "That was funny the first hundred times, but it's starting to lose it's appeal".

> (In reply to mypyrex)
> I have no on liners for you, but I CAN commiserate with you, as I too can't see any point in watching football, and even more so now that the big teams appear to be mostly teams of foreign players , with foreign managers, who have interest only in getting their hands on the vast amounts of money they can make out of the game.
> A fool and his money is soon parted, is my view of football supporters with their misplaced loyalty, a loyalty not in any way shared by their teams ' stars' as far as I can see.
> In my view of the world, football supporters are wasting their hard earned cash on a bunch of 'here today gone tomorrow ' overpaid prima Donnas .
>
> So you are not alone, if that helps any.

He says it to wind you up and he succeeds. The best thing to do would to not be get wound up by it, and that would deflate the effect somewhat.

showing a bit of interest in something that you are not interested in can be a good way of strengthening the bond between people - why not find a bit out about which matches are on before you next see him, and surprise him by replying in a knowledgeable way...

"Oh - you mean the Leeds v. Arsenal league cup game?" (well - it might have to be a bit more researched than my poor example)

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> I dont like corned beef but Im not gonna blow a fuseat the folk who do. I just accept/respect the fact that they like it and leave them too it.
>

Maybe so, but we don't spend hours banging on about how great corned beef is to people who don't like it, and reacting with stunned amazement when they tell us so.
No do we sit on the sofa in replica Fray Bentos shirts, shouting abuse & hurling empty cans at the telly when a Princes corned beef advert comes on.

You're making a huge generalisation. Maybe it says more about the people you assossiate with rather than football fans in general.

I love football, as do lots of my mates and family. I dont know anyone with a replica shirt, I don't know anyone who hurls cans at TV and I don't know anyone who would try and discuss football with a non-fan.

Football and football fans are an easy target for those with a bulging spleen.

In reply to Pinged: Well I'll tell you what pisses me off about SOME football fans(my brother in law and maybe you excepted) is that when they are confronted with somebody who abhors it and fails to get worked up about it and accept that it's the most important thing in the world they sometimes seem to regard them as "not normal" or some sort of sub-species.

Im sure there are plenty of such football fans. You however are exactly the same as them. You 'hate football with a passion' you 'abhore' football and you react to those that like it with the same incredulity they display towards those that dont.

> (In reply to mypyrex)
>
> Im sure there are plenty of such football fans. You however are exactly the same as them. You 'hate football with a passion' you 'abhor' football and you react to those that like it with the same incredulity they display towards those that dont.
>
> Live and let live everyone.

Well said. I wrote a "live and let live" post on Friday and then for some reason decided not to submit. I understand that mypyrex's BIL's "joke" each week might be wearing, but maybe he's doing it in response to multiple expressions of "comedic" incredulity from mypyrex in the first place regarding how on earth someone can't be interested in mountain trekking

> (In reply to Jim C) Thanks for that - very consoling to know that I'm not alone.

I don't drink either , but find most drinkers are ok, ( as long as they don't talk about football) There are few tossers of course that once they have a few themselves , want to 'convert' you . The 'have a drink' brigade.
Easier these days as you can say your driving, as that has become socially unacceptable, whereas in my younger days, it was quite common.

> (In reply to mypyrex)
>
> He says it to wind you up and he succeeds. The best thing to do would to not be get wound up by it, and that would deflate the effect somewhat.
>
> showing a bit of interest in something that you are not interested in can be a good way of strengthening the bond between people - why not find a bit out about which matches are on before you next see him, and surprise him by replying in a knowledgeable way...
>
> "Oh - you mean the Leeds v. Arsenal league cup game?" (well - it might have to be a bit more researched than my poor example)