Author
Topic: Star Wars Bloopers (Read 7282 times)

Well, I thought since the contest is coming up, I'd go ahead and post this over here. It's a little something I did back in January over at RS, and hopefully I'll get a chance to enter it in the contest in the comedy catagory.

Ben : Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn't allow it...He feared you might follow old Obi-Wan on some damn fool idealistic crusade like your father did....Luke : What is it?

Ben : Your father's Lightsaber...This is the weapon of a Jedi Knight...not as clumsy or random as a blaster...turn it on....press this button here....Luke : I did, it's not working....Ben : No this one here....Luke : That's what I pressed...I think the batteries are deadBen : Let me see that thing....George Lucas : CUT!!!!

Jabba : (in Huttese) Han, what if everyone who smuggled for me dropped their shipment at the first sign of an imperial starship?It's not good business....Han : Look Jabba, even I get boarded sometimes(moves behind Jabba)

Han : whoop

George Lucas : Whoa, you gotta watch that tail Han...Step on that thing if you have to........and Boba, remember, DON"T LOOK RIGHT IN THE CAMERA!!!!Boba Fett : as you wish....

Docking Bay 94

Luke and Obi-Wan enter hanger

Luke : What a piece of junk!!!!!

Han : She'll make .5 past light speed, she may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts...George Lucas : CUT!!!!Cute very cute Han....alright let's get that thing off the set....

Chewbacca : RarrrhHan : Come on down Chewie, he didn't think it was funny...

George Lucas : O.K. Luke, you're startled awake by the sound of a roar, you see yourself trapped. You look for your lightsaber, you see it on the ground...now you try to use the Force to get it...Good...good..O.K. let's have the Wampa come in......CUE THE WAMPA...

George Lucas : O.K. Luke, the line is "just hang on" got it?Luke : Just hang in?George Lucas : No..."Just hang ON"I want you to practice that line, you're going to be saying it ALOT in this movieLuke : "Just hang ON".....got itGeorge Lucas : ...good ....good......just one more thing......could you say it FASTER and MORE INTENSE???

Luke brings down an AT-AT

George Lucas : O.K. Luke, you run along side the walker, now get out your grappling gun...

George Lucas : ....get underneath, look up at the bottom of the walker and find a spot to....

George Lucas : ...oooh, that's gotta hurtCUT!!! Luke, are you alright buddy, ya gotta watch where you're running.Alright, get him out of there and let's take it again....

Yoda : ...only one thing remains...........yes, only one thing............but I can't think of what it is........................

Luke : Ha Ha Ha,You're having alot of trouble with those lines, huh Yoda?Maybe we should write them on your blanket.Yoda : Not funny, that was.

Luke Surrenders

Darth Vader : The Emperor will show you the true nature of the Force.He is your daddy now............................................................did I just say " he is your daddy"?Luke : Ha Ha Ha, yeah, I thought YOU were my daddy.

Emperor's Throne Room

Emperor : It was I who allowed the alliance to know the location of the shield generator. It is quite safe from your pitiful little band. An entire LEGION of my best troops await them.Luke : Ha Ha Ha Ha, those are your best troops down there???The ones getting beaten up by teddy bears???

Ewok's Attack

>SNAP<Scout Trooper : What's that noise?

EEYYAAAHH!!!!!!

Scout Trooper : arrgh...(Background Laughter)George Lucas : O.K. very funny guys.Where are the Ewoks?Han Solo : You should just leave the Care Bears,it looks just as believable.

Taking the Bunker

George Lucas : Alrighty, you imperial troops come rushing in and capture the rebels.Now remember the line is "You rebel SLIME"O.K.....ACTION!

Rune Haako : Have you ever encountered a Jedi Knight before sir?Nute Gunray : well....no...Rune Haako : We will not survive this...

Nute Gunray : ugh...I'm sorry but..ugh...we have to stop for a minute...George Lucas : CUT!!!Oh come on, not AGAIN!!!Nute Gunray : I can't help it, I have irriatable bowel syndrome, and this is a stressful scene...I'll be quick this time, I PROMISE!!!

Anakin : Not a day goes by that I haven't thought of you....and now that I'm with you again...I'm in AGONY...the closer I get to you,the worse it gets....The thought of not being with you.....I can't BREATHE....I'm haunted by the kiss that you should never have given me...my heart is beating...hoping that that kiss will not become a scar....YOU ARE IN MY VERY SOUL....TORMENTING ME....

Padme' : Good Grief, who the heck writes this crap?You sound like a stalker!!!

George Lucas : CUT!!!!! >sigh<

Asteriod Chase

Boba : GET HIM DAD, GET HIM...FIRE!!!!

Jango : SHUT IT, WILL YA!!!!!Damn, George, where do you find these kids?George Lucas : >sigh< Jango, could you be nice to the kid......Please?Everybody, could we all just be NICE to the KIDS?

Separatist War Room

Poggle : If the Jedi find out what we're planning to build, we're doomed!!Dooku : I'll take the designs with me to Coruscant...

Dooku : WHOA, this thing is acting up again!PROPS. DEPT.!!!!

Dooku : What?......Don't look at me like that Poggle.I should kick you RIGHT IN THE A** !!!!...................a thousand friggin' Battle Droids and you can't killa 20 year old woman....

There's more? That was really great stuff, funny as hell. Post more or where else is your other stuff? Laughed out loud, even though I'm at work, when Solo tips over Jabba's tail and when Vader falls off the table. Those were the best. Keep it up.

Logged

Harmless is the most dangerous of perceptions, you never expect it to strike.-Purge