I couldn't be with anyone that had an STD, or that was on drugs. I'm a CRMJ major and plan on being in the police force. The drugs is just a no no, and the STD.. lord. I'm a complete phobic of germs in general, so I really couldn't handle an STD.

Domestic abuse and addiction go hand-in-hand too often. I put addiction because of that fact. My ex did roids while we were together. He was fine when he was smoking pot, but as soon as he couldn't get his hands on it, he'd lash out, especially at me.

Domestic abuse and addiction go hand-in-hand too often. I put addiction because of that fact. My ex did roids while we were together. He was fine when he was smoking pot, but as soon as he couldn't get his hands on it, he'd lash out,
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Domestic abuse and addiction go hand-in-hand too often. I put addiction because of that fact. My ex did roids while we were together. He was fine when he was smoking pot, but as soon as he couldn't get his hands on it, he'd lash out, especially at me.

a violent pot smoker?

i think you found the one bad egg in the carton. pot smokers are not violent, normally.

I wanted to ask those who included STDs as a deal breaker. We need to remember that not ALL STDs are incurable, nor are all life changing.

Syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, trichamonis and many others are all curable. Things like herpes are
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I wanted to ask those who included STDs as a deal breaker. We need to remember that not ALL STDs are incurable, nor are all life changing.

Syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, trichamonis and many others are all curable. Things like herpes are really not a huge health risk for those with normal immune systems. It's also a manageable illness. And also herpes tends to "burn out" as people get older, meaning they get fewer and fewer outbreaks. Some people have had ONE herpes outbreak and not an other one.

Those of you who listed STDs; is a CURED STD, but one in someone's history still a "deal breaker?"

So glad you posted this...I didn't want to be the one to open that can of worms but I am glad you did!

Yeah, initially I only checked off politics but I would change that answer now if I could to include addiction.

At the time that I voted my partner was very addicted to heroin and also doing a lot of other opiates, benzos, pretty much whatever was around. I didn't like it but at the time was not fully aware of how many drugs he was doing (I didn't know he was mainlining) and how often because we are currently living an hour or so from each other. We have been together for two years and he's always done more drugs than I cared for, but only in the past 6 months did I really start to see it becoming more than I was willing to tolerate.

I have known a lot of addicts including family members and friends, and I think that consistent exposure made me feel like drugs and drinking to excess were normal parts of life. I finally saw with my partner that it wasn't, and that he was choosing heroin over his own health, safety and even his life. I could see that if he didn't even value his own life then he certainly couldn't value our love or my health, safety or anything else. When your partner does drugs it's like they're cheating on you around the clock with someone that you know they love better than you and would pick over you if they were forced to choose. He hated heroin and what it did to him but he needed it more than he wanted to be with me.

So, yeah. I guess addiction has become a deal breaker for me. I made him choose, and he chose to give up drugs, but I would have left if he hadn't. You can have a beautiful love and relationship with someone that has an STI/D - even an incurable one - but you can't have that with a junkie.

Yeah, initially I only checked off politics but I would change that answer now if I could to include addiction.

At the time that I voted my partner was very addicted to heroin and also doing a lot of other opiates, benzos, pretty much
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Yeah, initially I only checked off politics but I would change that answer now if I could to include addiction.

At the time that I voted my partner was very addicted to heroin and also doing a lot of other opiates, benzos, pretty much whatever was around. I didn't like it but at the time was not fully aware of how many drugs he was doing (I didn't know he was mainlining) and how often because we are currently living an hour or so from each other. We have been together for two years and he's always done more drugs than I cared for, but only in the past 6 months did I really start to see it becoming more than I was willing to tolerate.

I have known a lot of addicts including family members and friends, and I think that consistent exposure made me feel like drugs and drinking to excess were normal parts of life. I finally saw with my partner that it wasn't, and that he was choosing heroin over his own health, safety and even his life. I could see that if he didn't even value his own life then he certainly couldn't value our love or my health, safety or anything else. When your partner does drugs it's like they're cheating on you around the clock with someone that you know they love better than you and would pick over you if they were forced to choose. He hated heroin and what it did to him but he needed it more than he wanted to be with me.

So, yeah. I guess addiction has become a deal breaker for me. I made him choose, and he chose to give up drugs, but I would have left if he hadn't. You can have a beautiful love and relationship with someone that has an STI/D - even an incurable one - but you can't have that with a junkie.

Aww I'm so sorry to hear that. ((Hug)) Addiction is definitely different than an STD because it's a substance becoming the driving force of a person's life and then every important person in their life takes a backseat to it. Just not the kind of position to make a happy, stable relationship.

I dont know if I could deal with it if my partner had a tattoo of the Macabre Logo on them. Especially if it was a full back tattoo. I kinda like macabre, but this logo and the people who sport it seriously make me wonder.

My vote is for three actually, one of them being not mentioned. Both addiction and STD would be on my list, as would a history of being abusive toward women. I've been the girl that believed that abusive men could change and been proven wrong
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My vote is for three actually, one of them being not mentioned. Both addiction and STD would be on my list, as would a history of being abusive toward women. I've been the girl that believed that abusive men could change and been proven wrong and simply no longer believe that a man that has hurt a woman once won't do it again.

I agree with this so much.

I don't mind *responsible* drug use, but addiction is definitely a deal breaker.

My vote is for three actually, one of them being not mentioned. Both addiction and STD would be on my list, as would a history of being abusive toward women. I've been the girl that believed that abusive men could change and been proven wrong
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My vote is for three actually, one of them being not mentioned. Both addiction and STD would be on my list, as would a history of being abusive toward women. I've been the girl that believed that abusive men could change and been proven wrong and simply no longer believe that a man that has hurt a woman once won't do it again.

Whether you're currently open to new sex partners (or significant others) or merely just open to fictional fantasies, what feature of him/her would be undo any possibility of choosing that particular person?

(The background of the question
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Whether you're currently open to new sex partners (or significant others) or merely just open to fictional fantasies, what feature of him/her would be undo any possibility of choosing that particular person?

(The background of the question is my thinking about what it is I would want in a new partner, whenever that time comes. I wonder if I'm too picky or just demanding enough to not be disappointed again. And what is the end-all turn-off for you? Feel free to elaborate! Especially if the one you used to have has changed or if it was the cause of the end of your last relationship.)

I need to be treated with respect, kindness and love. I would never enter into an abusive relationship!

Whether you're currently open to new sex partners (or significant others) or merely just open to fictional fantasies, what feature of him/her would be undo any possibility of choosing that particular person?

(The background of the question
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Whether you're currently open to new sex partners (or significant others) or merely just open to fictional fantasies, what feature of him/her would be undo any possibility of choosing that particular person?

(The background of the question is my thinking about what it is I would want in a new partner, whenever that time comes. I wonder if I'm too picky or just demanding enough to not be disappointed again. And what is the end-all turn-off for you? Feel free to elaborate! Especially if the one you used to have has changed or if it was the cause of the end of your last relationship.)

#1 S T D's. Sorry, I don't have any, want any and will go without before getting. Thirty of forty minutes the first time is not worth a lifetime. #2 Alcohol and Drug addiction. #3 Mental health issues or a major life experience from the past that has never been professionally addressed, diagnosed and or treated with a certain acknowledgement on current and future considerations. (Think this is too much) Sleep with someone before knowing them, look around at all of the sad situations. I want better for US, or unfortunately; no future at all. No one gets hurt. I have my morals, ethics and life to consider, first. Anyone with lovers and partners around from their past. Too easy to fall back, I have seen it too much. I believe in commitment and moving on together. Or you should not be out in the first place looking for LOVE. But, you can definitely go out and have a drink.

I can only pick one? I'm a picky chick. Education, (I like educated men, smart men.) Poverty, (sometimes it's not the person's fault, but I stay at home,(and run a business that makes no money at the present) we both can't. I'm
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I can only pick one? I'm a picky chick. Education, (I like educated men, smart men.) Poverty, (sometimes it's not the person's fault, but I stay at home,(and run a business that makes no money at the present) we both can't. I'm NOT supporting a man, Uh Uh.) I can't tolerate Hideously Right Wing. Or Racist. Plus if a guy doesn''t want sex at least 6-10 times a week, no deal. I am High Maintainence.

I mean a girl has to have Standards. Right?

Will you consider a graduate from the school of hard knocks? Well, there would be no degree to which I would not be TRUE to you. lol And 6-10 times a week, my tongue has never gone limp. lol Has a nice night, Life. Someone with a degree and a good job will be very lucky; and happy.

Whether you're currently open to new sex partners (or significant others) or merely just open to fictional fantasies, what feature of him/her would be undo any possibility of choosing that particular person?

(The background of the question
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Whether you're currently open to new sex partners (or significant others) or merely just open to fictional fantasies, what feature of him/her would be undo any possibility of choosing that particular person?

(The background of the question is my thinking about what it is I would want in a new partner, whenever that time comes. I wonder if I'm too picky or just demanding enough to not be disappointed again. And what is the end-all turn-off for you? Feel free to elaborate! Especially if the one you used to have has changed or if it was the cause of the end of your last relationship.)

My vote is for three actually, one of them being not mentioned. Both addiction and STD would be on my list, as would a history of being abusive toward women. I've been the girl that believed that abusive men could change and been proven wrong and simply no longer believe that a man that has hurt a woman once won't do it again.

There are so many things that would be deal breakers for me. I am a very picky person. And I think you SHOULD be picky when looking for a long term relationship. When you are looking for someone to share your life with, you should be picky. Be very, very picky. It's for your own good.

There are so many things that would be deal breakers for me. I am a very picky person. And I think you SHOULD be picky when looking for a long term relationship. When you are looking for someone to share your life with, you should be picky. Be
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There are so many things that would be deal breakers for me. I am a very picky person. And I think you SHOULD be picky when looking for a long term relationship. When you are looking for someone to share your life with, you should be picky. Be very, very picky. It's for your own good.

Oh most certainly, yes! But the question was more for sexual relations and not long term relationships.

i voted STDs but addiction as well. i'm sure i would try to help someone out of it but there's not much you can do if someone is unwilling to quit themselves. i'd hate to be a drag with someone who contracted an STD or HIV but i simply couldn't put myself at risk. it would have to be a non-sexual relationship at that point.