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My english writing in day 2

Before I am starting to write this essay, I have a thought that I need to share with the readers. I had read some of the threads in this "Editing & Writing Topics" column, I realised that some of the articles and short stories which asked to proofread are very good indeed. For example, the short story about the military service, I found it very interesting. I feel shame that I am posting my writing here when I compare my writng with the others. Although I am not good at essay or story writing, I will still keep on my writing as much as I can. The reason I post any threads here is to improve my wriiten english, I hope the teachers here can consist on reading and correcting my articles.

Today I am going to share what I seen on the fortune channel on television. The story is about a 40 years old guy who make the money on his own habits. The guy is named Wei Yang (WY) who lived in Da lian harbor in China. Da Lian habor is famous for its seafood market which got the different variety of seafoods from all over the world, such as Alaskankingcrab, Ice Land Lumpfish, and American little squid,etc. One of WY's habits is eating seafood which give him a thought to be an entrepreneur later on. He was a seafood retailer when the first time he left school at the age of 23. After genrateing enough money he started to become a seafood wholesaler in Da Lian seafood market, in that year, he was 28 years old. Things seemed to go smothly for him, but nobody knew there's a global recession sweeping the whole world economic. He lost all his money on buying the kind of fish which named Spanish mackerel, because he bought in hugh tons of it and the demand of the fish was droping dramtically. After this business loss, he started to think a lot at home. All he did was eat, sleep, and think, he nearly decided to give up his life. One thing reminded him to get back to life, he finally figured it out why he lost all his money - updated market infomation. Most of the merchedisers will buy in the quantity of goods without mearsuring the actual demand of the products. After ke knowing his own problem, he borrowed the money from his friends then he started to build up a biggest cold storage house in Da Lian. The cold storage house hadn't made a lot of profit for his company, but he had long lists of business contact partners around the world. He said :"doing business is like buying shares in stock market, you buy it in low price and then sell it at high price, the profit's is so easy to make." In my point of view, what he mean is he knows what needed to buy in and when it needed to sell out, all of this process is purely based on the updated market information.

That's all for my writing today, thanks for your time to read it through! Dear teachers, please correct any mistakes I made in this essay. Cheers!

Re: My english writing in day 2

Originally Posted by Freight Forwarder

Before I am starting to write this essay, I have a thought that I need to share with the readers. I had read some of the threads in this "Editing & Writing Topics" column, I realised that some of the articles and short stories which asked to proofread are very good indeed. For example, the short story about the military service, I found it very interesting. I feel shame that I am posting my writing here when I compare my writing with the others.(but don't forget to enjoy your own work and progress!) Although I am not good at essay or story writing, I will still keep on my writing as much as I can. The reason I post any threads here is to improve my written English, I hope the teachers here can help me correcting my articles.

Today I am going to share what I have seen on the fortune channel on television. The story is about a 40-year old guy who makes the money on his own habits. The guy,who lived in Da Lian harbor in China, is named Wei Yang (WY). Da Lian harbor is famous for its seafood market which sells / offers a variety of seafood from all over the world, such as Alaskan king crabs, Iceland lumpfish, and little American squids, etc. One of WY's habits is eating seafood which gives him the thought / the idea of becoming an entrepreneur later on. He began his career as a seafood retailer directly following his schooling at the age of 23. After generating enough money he started to run his own company (aim I right there?) as a seafood wholesaler at the Da Lian seafood market, in that year, he was 28 years old. Things seemed to go smoothly for him, but nobody knew that there would be a global recession sweeping the whole world economy. He lost all his money on buying that kind of fish which was named Spanish mackerel, because he bought hugh tons of it and the demand of the fish was dropping dramatically. After this business loss, he started to think a lot at home. All he did was eat, sleep, and think, he nearly decided to give up his life. One thing reminded him to get back to life; he finally figured it out why he lost all his money – a lack of market information was the cause. Most of the merchandisers will buy goods in large quantities without considering the actual demand of the products. After having realised his own problem, he borrowed the money from his friends, and then he started to build up the biggest refrigerated storage building in Da Lian. This, however, has not made a lot of profit for his company, but has brought long lists of business contact partners from all over the world. He said: "doing business is like buying shares in stock market, you buy it at low prices and then sell them at high prices, the profit is so easy to make." In my point of view, what he means is he knows when and what is needed to buy goods, and when the goods should be sold, finally that the whole process is purely based on the updated market information.

That's all for my writing today, thanks for your time to read it through! Dear teachers, please correct any mistakes I made in this essay. Cheers!