a mite whimsical in the brainpan

Dec. 1st, 2015

Title: Goat Trading with BenefitsAuthor: aldiaraFandom/Characters: Spartacus, Vikings; Agron/Nasir/Ragnar (anyone who can come up with a better portmanteau for that than “Nagnar” will receive a free baby goat)Word Count: 300Rating: MatureWarnings: HE ONLY LIKES TO CUDDLE GOATS, I SWEAR.Summary: Ragnar comes to buy goats from Agron and Nasir, and stays for a little more.Disclaimer: I don’t own Spartacus, Vikings, or any goats. A/N: My blanket disclaimer for timelines: If Carthage fell within the Spartacus time frame, then a thousand years of Viking history mean nothing :p Contains a small homage to the Punk Band AU series by amyriadfthings, amo_amas_amat, and lilithilien. Written for the 2015 Fic or Die challenge, filling lilithilien’s prompt “Ragnar (Vikings) discusses goat farming with Agron and Nasir (Spartacus).”

Oct. 18th, 2015

Fic: the perfect time to say this (Barca/Pietros, NC-17)

mood: amused

Soz about the spam today, f-list. I'm catching up with crap I've meant to post all week.

Title: the perfect time to say thisAuthor: aldiaraFandom/Characters: Spartacus; Barca/Pietros (Barca POV)Word Count: 2300Rating: ExplicitWarnings: Fluff. Literal fluff. Summary: Barca and Pietros are expecting baby pigeons and it’s about as ridiculous as you’d expect.Disclaimer: I don’t own Spartacus. Clearly I’ve made the wrong life choices.A/N: Brought to you by my exploding feels while watching ep 301 of Please Like Me. Yeah, IDEK, but here, I dare you to resist. I also blame lilithilien for this because I was perfectly happy poking at various angstfest fics before she suggested that Barca and Pietros needed birds put on their heads.

Jul. 11th, 2014

So I was gonna write some heartbreaking historical mountaineering slash for Fic or Die. And then the fic that chose to finish itself instead was AWZ crossover crack featuring Katja Fucking Bergmann. I'm sorry, but not sorry enough to spare you :p

Title: Mirror MirrorAuthor: aldiaraFandom/Characters: Alles was zählt with a tiny smidge of BtSV. Katja Bergmann, Mirror Twin.Word Count: ~2000Rating: PG-13 for a bit of languageWarnings: KATJA.Summary: In which Katja's Mirror Twin is a vengeance demon. And Katja used the W word. Oops.Disclaimer: I own nothing.A/N: I'm not tagging this BtSV because it's really not a Buffy fic, but I did steal the vengeance demon mythology from BtSV. Unbeta'd, so feel free to point out errors or shut up about them, I am really supremely uninvested in this fic, lol.

Jul. 5th, 2014

Fic: The Wolf-Reyes Connection (Teen Wolf/Doctor Who crossover)

mood: silly

Another silly one for Fic or Die! (What. I have a lot of unfinished fic :p).

Title: The Wolf-Reyes ConnectionAuthor: aldiaraFandom/Characters: Teen Wolf/Doctor Who; Erica, Boyd, the Eleventh Doctor, the Alpha PackWord Count: 2750Rating: GWarnings: Silliness and shameless tweaking of astronomical features.Summary: "Oh, this was just great, Erica thought. She and Boyd were about to get torn apart by these alpha freaks, and here was some kind of mad alien with two hearts. A mad alien with an ancient phone box and a sentient plant."Disclaimer: I own nothing.A/N: Don't mind me, just sending the cavalry to rescue Erica and Boyd from the clumsy clutches of bad canon :p Because I still love Erica and I'm still bitter at Teen Wolf for totally wasting her potential. Set right after the Teen Wolf season 2 finale (not remotely s3-compatible, obvs); in the Doctor's timeline, not too long after The Angels Take Manhattan. Thanks to alsha for typo-catching!

Sep. 3rd, 2012

Breed Me (IDEK what this is. Sterek mpreg songcrack, apparently).

So uhm. It all started with mocking the millions of badvids out there using Breathe Me. And then there was the reading of fic and encountering of lots of equally bad knotting fic in which "pups" was used as a synonym for "come" and people apparently thought someone moaning "Breed me!" in the middle of sex was hot (hint: it's really, really not). Then there was a brainmush of "Breathe Me should really be Breed Me, lololol," and... well... that was that.

Mar. 19th, 2012

I have been meaning to post more but could not really think of what, as I'm on a strictly limited allowance of Crazy Things My Cats Did posts. I have, however, recently rediscovered my love of reading (something I didn't have too much time for the past few years), so I've been devouring books like a Death Eater eating, uhm, death (or possibly treacle).

One of the things I have been reading about is climbing. I used to climb and used to love it but I've kind of grown too old and lazy to do it, and also, mountains are fucking terrifying. I mean, they're entirely awesome in every way but personally I'm done crawling all over them with a big neon-green sign reading "COME AND KILL ME" around my neck, you know?

Instead, I read about other climbers, which is great fun, very educational and very much less lethal.

So without further ado, let me present to you two mountaineering legends of the early 20th century and their Great Clandestine Gay Love Affair (As Totally Fabricated By Me):

Dec. 7th, 2011

Spoilers: Episode 1346-1354

mood: artistic

Title: Spoilers: Episode 1346-1354 (The Very Unlikely Romance Of Katja Bergmann and Isabelle Reichenbach)Author:aldiaraFandom/Characters: Alles was zählt; Katja/Isabelle; hints of: *Franziska/Melanie; Sarah/Melanie; Bergmann sistercest* [highlight to read]Rating: Gen; NOTHING THAT OFFICIAL AWZ SPOILERPICS WOULD NOT BE OKAY WITHSpoilers: Through 1355-ish. (If you actually paid attention to official AWZ spoiler pics which I HOPE TO GOD YOU DON'T AND IF YOU DO, GOOD GRIEF, DO YOU NOT HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE?!)Summary: Simone has a brandnew business idea. Katja and Isabelle go along with it, completely ignoring any feelings-you-might-feel.Disclaimer: These characters belong to RTL, who haven't the first bleeding idea of what to do with them.A/N: My first *yes I am planning MOAR, just gimme time* contribution to the AWZ femslash ficathon 2011. These are brandnew and totally authentic, not at all made up AWZ spoilers that will happen any moment now *CHIRP*. Don't you dare question my Very Authentic And Not At All Made-Up Official Spoiler Translations. Any deliberately cheesy spoiler phrasings are deliberate. Big thanks to my ever vital beta lilithilien for her essential contributions :D WE OWN SHOW, DON'T YOU KNOW.

Jan. 11th, 2011

HoFest gift claiming: Oh Right, There Was Another One

mood: amused

*shamelessly clutters up f-list*

I suppose it's too late to pretend I didn't write fic with Mars in it. lololol.

Title: Rock 'n' Roll Dreams Come TrueAuthor:aldiaraCharacter(s)/Pairing(s): Deniz/Roman, and… ??? [surprise!]Summary: When Deniz inadvertently finds Two Tickets To That Thing He Loves instead of his favourite cock ring, he and Roman embark on a grim adventure of ear-raping agony that eventually leads to a chance encounter with DESTINY.Rating: PG-13. Alas, no actual ear rape occurs.Warning(s): Mars. Loquaciousness, soap plots, crack. Hm, better safe than sorry: THIS FIC CONTAINS NARRATION AND DIALOGUE, REPRESENTED BY LETTERS ON A SCREEN. CORRECT GRAMMAR MAY OCCUR. ALSO, MARRRRS.Word Count: 3500Author's Notes: Originally written as a pinch hit for HoHoHo Fest. Thanks to my wonderful cheerleading beta lilithilien! And shoutouts go to Queer As Folk (UK) and The Shoebox Project, from which I've rudely stolen a couple of lines. Also, I blame someone else for Mars. Someone not me. You know who you are. (Hint: alshaalsha it's alsha :p)

Dec. 2nd, 2010

(Awwww, remember how cute the kidlets were before we turned them into alcoholic slobs? Also, although it's technically my turn to be Liz, because it's your birthday you can be her ALL WEEK. I'll even try not to hit you too much.)

Also, because I can't do vids and I'm shit at graphics, have a sillyfic:

Title: Flimsy Premise: An Audio TrackAuthor: aldiaraFandom/Characters: Alles was zählt; Deniz/RomanWord Count: 1200 wordsRating: PGWarnings: Mostly dialogue only. AU-ish. Crack.Summary: Transcript based on an audio-only track recorded by the security system at Steinkamp Sports & Wellness one night, after the cameras had regrettably been sabotaged under mysterious circumstances. Essen's police force is still investigating.Disclaimer: These characters belong to me. Yes, yes they do. I insist. A/N: Knocked together in great haste for my darling husband praderwilli's birthday. Unbeta'd, so feel free to point out errors or, you know, STFU about them, either works. I LOVE YOU, WILLI!

Jul. 1st, 2010

Cracky commentfic (OMG, self, what?)

mood: crazy

Title: According to PlanAuthor: aldiaraFandom/Characters: Alles Was Zählt, MarcWord Count: 290 words (commentfic)Rating: Uhm. G? Warnings: *Uhm, murder. But in a cracky way! (that makes it ok, right?)* [highlight to read]Summary: Marc knew he would never win Roman's heart as himself. After all, he was the past and Deniz was the future and he was not hot and Deniz was SO CUTE and the PERFECT BOYFRIEND. This had been confirmed by focus groups. So there was only one thing to do, really.Disclaimer: I own nothing, nothing, nothing.A/N: Hahahahah, omg. Okay. So someone on YouTube was all "Marc, when are you going to learn that you are no Deniz Öztürk???", which had me crack up as I imagined Marc trying to impersonate Deniz and then praderwilli was all "Fanfic bitte?" and I was all, "Oh fucking hell, why not", so... WILLI, YOU CUNNING FOX, THIS IS FOR YOU. And then sdk came along and hyena'd at me and commanded me to post somewhere linkable and I cannot deny her, so... lololol. (Also, if someone were to photoshop Marc trying to look like Deniz, I would be their willing slavegirl for life.)

Feb. 11th, 2010

Today's voting grumbles

mood: drunk

#1: Veela Boy With Unattractively Hairy Arms: Nope. You still leave me utterly cold. You could be at -25% and I would not be stirred by pity. NICHT MEIN FALL.

#2: The Formerly Impishly Attractive Lars: Dude, don't even. WE BROKE UP. There's nothing but shards left and I can never trust you again. Even to think of those pictures makes me quietely seethe, or worse, want to cry. Go away and never come back. There's no point trying anymore, you faker. It's over. NICHT MEIN FALL.

#3: Hi Crinkle-Faced Smile of Win! It's okay. You don't have to whip your shirt off (though I'll appreciate it), spazz at me about how awesome boxing is (though I'll valiantly attempt to pretend I agree) or show me your bloody knuckles (though I'll be suitably impressed). You had me at "Hallo!" HOT.

#4: The Littlest, Lostest Weasley a.k.a. The Formerly Unfortunate No.4: Hmmm. Have we racked up enough karmic points yet? Does Christine have enough material for fic? Because I kinda feel like you're getting cocky. And like I need to give you a GEHT SO to keep you in your place. Cause next thing we know, you'll be accepting whatever lame trophy they've come up with for the Sexiest Soapstar winner with a grinny smirk and everyone will be looking all shifty and avoiding each other's eyes and later on no one will be able to explain how it happened and Igor will look crushed and make me cry. Ergo: GEHT SO.

#5: Hey Süßer. No, I don't care. Sacrifice yourself on the altar of pink, trashy indignity. It's for a good cause. HOT.

#7: The Amazing Square-Faced Squintbot: I have a guilty secret to confess. I am giving this dude GEHT SO. Such is the extent of my utter non-caring. I just don't feel strongly enough to give him the same scorn as Mars & Co. If I were any more indifferent, I'd dissolve. In fact, I'm already not remembering who I'm even talking about. GEHT SO and onwards!

#8: Mr. Sex Predator In Your Neighbourhood: No indifference here. If I could vote you into negative numbers, I would. EW. NICHT MEIN FALL.

#9: Greasy Max. HOT. Yes. I don't care what y'all think. Once upon a time, I thought greasy Max was gross. Then I thought he was gross but kind of sinistery-appealy. Then I thought he was gross but kinda yummy. Then I went back to thinking he's just gross. (Mostly Celine's and Lena's fault). He is the most disgusting man that I ever did find attractive. I respect that. HOT.

#10: Saaaaam. Sam Sam Sam. We must talk. WHY IS YOUR WIFE NOT IN THIS POLL? Damn you. For that alone, you will never win. And for the fact that I currently despise your character for a spineless, macho wimp. But still. HOT.

#11: Curse you, Raul Richter. Don't think I am not onto you. Don't think I didn't see you in today's Cenny ep, looking delicious in red and being all noble and loyal, standing up for the Yummiest Double-Choc Cupcake anyone ever had for a friend. Don't think I didn't see you casting glances at me from the corner of your eyes, going "Come on, I'm kind of lovely, aren't I? You may scoff, but you secretly think I'm all sorts of dishevelledly scrumptious." Maybe. Maybe I do, but you're not getting to me. Not you or your windblown princely ash-blond locks. I am firm as a rock in stormy seas, and I shall not waver. NICHT MEIN FALL.

#12: Vampire Lounge Singer: And again I must confess. I've been giving him GEHT SO. Don't judge me - he's no danger, I don't even know him and he's never harmed anyone, other than those casual clubgoers he's eaten in dark corners. Plus I can't get the image of him sprawled all over Lucifer's piano at Lux, dressed in nothing but a little red dress and a ludicrous shiny cape, crooning "You Give Me Fever" out of my head. Yes, I'm a sick woman, so what? GEHT SO, MOVING ON, NOTHING TO SEE HERE.

#13: Hello most adorable boy in the world. Apart from being too pretty to live, you are also just all around way too lovely to ever merit less than HOT, and to give you GEHT SO has given me heartburn in the past, so I won't even try right now. Let me just indefinitely put off that inevitable moment when I'm going to have to make a decision. HOT, PLUMPTIOUS.

#14: WHAT POSSIBLE EXCUSE DO YOU HAVE FOR EXISTING? FUCK THE FUCKING FUCKETY FUCK OFF, FUCK YOU. NICHT MEIN FALL, THANKS FOR WASTING MY TIME, LOSER.

#15: Hi John. I would rate you something decent, but I am paralysed with not caring very much. Plus, you were an arse to your gay girlfriend and your gay girlfriend's gay girlfriend, and now you're an arse to your sister's gay boyfriend, so, you know... piss off. NICHT MEIN FALL.

Feb. 10th, 2010

Here, have some aversion therapy

mood: crazy

As if I needed any more procrastination material, I have taken it upon myself to help out some people who are having trouble resisting the cunningly chosen PR shots of some of the candidates who most definitely need to be voted "NICHT MEIN FALL." All for a good cause, of course.

Apr. 1st, 2009

ALSO? I CAN KILL YOU WITH MY BRAIN.

Oh god, it's official, I have lost my mind. Not that I was ever that much in possession of it anyway, but whatevs.

Did I mention this? I don't think I have:(God, I just want to smack his face off his face SO HARD!)

Voting is open until Friday, and I will spam you with cracky banners until then and wheedle at you to go vote. It doesn't matter if you don't even read this stuff. Just go vote anyway! *g* (and you don't have to vote for me, either. Pick whoever's name is crackiest or what have you.)