During the first six months, there were a few teething problems, but things have settled down now apart from his desire to read erotic tales on websites called “lush stories”, “swinging heaven” and “slapper dating”.

I’ve viewed the content of these sites, which also have forums, and feel totally betrayed.

They are very graphic and have the option to contact other users, arrange meetings and receive and send messages.

I recently built a profile and sent him a few enticing messages, which, thankfully, he didn’t respond to.

We discussed this after I admitted what I’d done.

I expected him to say that he’d avoid these sites in future, but he’s still hooked on his daily fix, sometimes secretly while I’m sitting in the same room. I find it difficult to accept, especially as there is no passion during our infrequent spells of sex.

He’s so wrapped up in the sites that he fails to acknowledge my needs. I feel frustrated, unattractive and undesirable.

I love him, but I’ve lost trust in him now. I’ve thought about moving on in the hope of a more fulfilling life. Please help.

Coleen says..

First of all, you need to explain that you’re feeling unloved and undesirable to the point where you’re seriously thinking of leaving him.

That might come as a shock to him, considering you’ve lived together for only a year. I think you may have to compromise and come to some arrangement where he visits these sites once or twice a week if he can’t totally give them up.

Alternatively, if you don’t want him to view these sites at all, you have to make that decision to move on.

I read some interesting research recently that found men who use porn regularly experience higher levels of erectile dysfunction as they have an unrealistic idea of what sex is. When they have sex with their partner, it fails to live up to their expectations.

Only you can make that decision to leave him, but you had six months of teething problems when you first moved in and then the issues over his obsession, so I think it doesn’t bode well for the long-term.