Do you have a list? Not one of those “honey-do” lists of what we would like to have done around the house, like fixing the dripping faucet or cleaning the garage. I’m talking about a list of your husband’s failures.

Esther diligently sought the Lord, and He enabled her to effectively present her appeal. You must ask God for a plan on how you can serve your “king” in order to gain his heart and present your appeal.

We as women have to come to this point of surrender. We have to be willing to “die” and give up our lives to the Lord, as Esther was willing to die for her family. Every woman’s point of “death” will be different.

When your heart is desperate, it’s hard to simply pray a quick, soft prayer—you are more likely to cry out with emotion and passion! God promises to hear these cries for help, to work, and to receive glory for rescuing us in the midst of despair. “Call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me” (Psalm 50:15).

Praying seems simple enough. We all know we need to pray, but I want to remind you that prayer is not just talking to God—prayer is also letting God talk to you. Supplication to the Lord is a part of prayer, but you also need to allow God to speak to you and reveal His requests for you.

Esther did not ask the people to fast for her ungodly husband, and she did not fast for him. She called for a fast for herself. She needed a plan! She needed to hear God’s voice about what she needed to do.

Through our counseling ministry, I have spoken with countless women about their family’s journey to moral freedom. They are all at different points in the process, and some of them are frustrated because there is a problem in their marriage and their husband is failing morally, but he is not moved to brokenness and repentance over his sin. He is not willing to change, and his wife wonders what she can do.

November 18, 2002, is a date my family will never forget. On that day, I made one of the biggest decisions of my life. I chose to come to the light! For years I had been hiding my sin from the people who knew me best.

Husbands, wives, parents, children, friends, neighbors, employers—relationships fill our lives. They require the investments of time and care, especially when conflicts arise. A courageous conversation is an effective tool that you can use to resolve relational conflicts.