As Luck Would Have It

I won a giveaway. No, it’s not an all-expense paid trip to Hawaii. I wish. Far from it, actually. Please don’t spit out your pumpkin spice latte when I tell you. I don’t want you to waste any sugar on me.

It’s not a designer purse, or a $250 silk blouse that I have tried to win before on the same blog. You know! The things that I wish were in my closet, but cannot afford to stock in my own closet very often.

I know you are on the edge of your seat with anticipation.

But, let me assure it is not a box of gourmet chocolates.

Far from it, actually.

Please don’t spit out your pumpkin spice latte when I tell you. I don’t want you to waste any sugar on me.

I won the opportunity to get clean, and rid my body of toxins. Beginning October 1st, I am going to take part in the online “Fall Renewal: 10 Day Detox” program.

I can’t even bear to write this, but the road I’m going down is a road that has no chocolate, caffeine, pumpkin spice lattes, or alcohol. Apparently, just lots of broccoli.

Sounds like a picnic in the park, doesn’t it? You know I’m rolling my eyes.

I haven’t even started this program yet, and I’m already hearing the sugar Nazi yell harshly in my ear,

“No, sugar for you!”

Wait, it gets worse.

“No English Breakfast tea for you, either-you British wannabe.”

Ahhhhhh! I don’t know if I can do it.

And when I head to an Oktoberfest party six days into the detox, she will be saying in my ear as I stare at the seasonal brews,

“Fuhgeddaboudit!”

Ouch! She is taking away everything I love. She might as well take me in the woods, and shoot me like an episode from the Sopranos. Put me out of dieting misery.

But, I know I can do this!!!

I try to eat healthy, I really do. But, I do have too much sugar, processed foods, and other toxins in my diet.

I know that. I think it’s why I’m secretly excited to give this program my all, and work to feel my best.

My 43-year-old body needs it. Hopefully, it will thank me. It may beat me up in the beginning, but I went through 9 months of pregnancy, twice. This detox has nothing on that, right?

After the 10 days, I am supposed to have more energy, think clearer, shed some pounds, and sleep better. Supposedly, my mood will improve, too.

I will let you know.

If you don’t hear from me after October 1st, send reinforcements to my house because you may find me locked in my pantry singing, “pour some sugar in my tea!”