A Sensible decision??

Iv decided its my time. Im not sad upset of even confused anymore now iv made this decision with great care. This world is just not for me anymore just tired of it all. I know will hurt the few people who do love me but i think they should be happy for me. Nobody knows my exact plans tho i have told my best friend i do plan to leave which i was shocked she has been so supportive of my choice. I just wish i could say goodbye to everybody i want to tho i know i cant. I will watch over them. Iv tried before but this time i have planned this all out. I dont want any help like medical ect just want to be supported through it am i crazy? no i dont think so im happy with my choice just wish somebody could understand its not such a bad choice....

Thanks but its not that im sad about it iv tried the minimal help that was offered to me by docs ect but nothing works i have a fiance who would do anything for me a great 7 month year old son i should be happy with i got but i just feel nothing. I know i will do wrong by leaving them but if im already "gone" why should that matter iv made sure they will be taken care of just want them to be happy with my choice.

You know I will miss u so much. Been kind of an anchor during all those damned storms. Will miss us watching over each other *tears* ppl would think we are crazy I am sure. *hugs* I am trying really hard to be supportive it's just my own selfish feelings that get in the way. I just don't *tears* want to let go of you my friend. Just want you to be happy, okay?

My gut feeling, albeit a tainted one at that, says it's not. I'm truly not trying to be difficult or argumentative :hug: Perhaps if i gain a better understanding, i can be more supportive of your decision.

Im pretty sure iv made my mind up though this time. After making probably the biggest mistake of my life confirms every decision turns out to be the wrong one just hope finally i can get one right. I ll miss you both kali & av but i just don't see the point in anything anymore just sick of hurting... I know i will hurt people with this choice but id rather hurt them one more time then continue to do over years & years..
Just when things i thought were getting better i (nobody else) but this was my fault!! I alone go & mess them up Im sorry to each & every one of you **tears** but hugs to you all

What big mistake do you think you made? Gosh, you know, sometimes we don't make the wisest choices, but usually we do what we can and never with ill intent. Our actions and choices are forgivable. It's not like they even need to be forgiven. I wish you were not so hard on yourself. We live, we learn, we grow and we go on from there. Kicking yourself this hard for something you did just seems out of proportion, not that i am judging you, just maybe you could be a bit more gentle on you? I've never known of you to do or say anything mean or with ill-will towards anyone. You are a good fellow.

You don't owe me a sorry :hug: just a hug.

I so wish you felt better. I wish i knew what to say. I so much wish you to be gentle on you. You are a good person. You have so much good inside of you, to share with that little one of yours. No. He cannot get that from his mother...it is something you alone posses. I so wish he could learn from you as he would grow to have such a very fine heart **tears**