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Weird empathy

I had a strange impression while sitting and it returned to me after getting up. I had a very profound feeling of empathy toward ego. My ego-stream (experienced directly) and remembered expressions of others' egos. It's such a frightened thing - like a scared child. It's hard to go to war against a scared child.

Yes, no war necessary - but that's what I think a lot of us try to do. I was thinking about the self-moralizing thread.

Quite remarkable that this is the only part of what I posted that was addressed - it was just a strange tossed-off thought that I almost didn't add. Yet when we see how scared ego is, how scared we are, the whole field of being becomes so much more compassionate.

I've met so many people in this practice who think that they're going to conquer their way to enlightenment.

When we are just being, everyone is equal, just Buddha nature. I've also noticed the scariness - its like background noise, sometimes you notice it sometimes you don't and sometimes its gone. But regardless you are always practicing.

Getting back to self-moralizing. The tendency is for past mistakes to keep popping up. You can become obsessive compulsive about them and create dreams or fantasies or just let them go - over and over and over. This practice is such a gift and gratitude to Buddha and the teachers.

And yes, its not conquering its more like allowing and getting out of the way. Enough talk, time to sit

I had a strange impression while sitting and it returned to me after getting up. I had a very profound feeling of empathy toward ego. My ego-stream (experienced directly) and remembered expressions of others' egos. It's such a frightened thing - like a scared child. It's hard to go to war against a scared child.

The reference to war hit home with me. I've done battle plenty of times against my ego, mostly to no avail. It's not that one wakes up and says "today, I feel like going to war." It's a series of missteps, culminating in finding oneself in a struggle that wasn't meant to be. Anyhow, not much of a thought, but there it is.

Compassion for certain parts of oneself can be uncommon. There are usually things we dislike about ourselves that we'd like to change and this is often mirrored by our culture. Buddhist culture has its own lists of unwelcome traits.

It was weird to me to recognize these aspects as a helpless and scared child instead of a troublesome adversary. It was good-weird.

The reference to war hit home with me. I've done battle plenty of times against my ego, mostly to no avail. It's not that one wakes up and says "today, I feel like going to war." It's a series of missteps, culminating in finding oneself in a struggle that wasn't meant to be. Anyhow, not much of a thought, but there it is.

Gassho,
Shujin

This EXACTLY expresses my feeling, Shujin. A series of missteps whereby you find yourself fighting more out of reflex and habit than by any consciously aimed effort. I'm tired of hating parts of myself and seeing them as obstacles. I'm CREATING the enemy just so I can fight and thereby have an identity as 'that which fights'. It needn't be that way!

just a few quick thoughts....adding to Chet's last post. Please ignore it if it seems like gibberish.

What if someone told you, that there is NOTHING you can do. To truly accept (with your heart, head alone don't cut it) that there is nothing you can do to change your current state of confusion and/or frustration can mean to be forced to finally surrender to what is. This surrender, a radical dropping of attraction and aversion, can be a gateless gate into recognizing that one is sharing the same boundless nature as our Buddha ancestors.

If you see your way as gradual, get your ass in gear and work harder on all those faults...and don't expect results for years to come. It might take lifetimes - and that's okay too.

If you truly have the capacity and audacity to just jump right in and enter the ancestors' hall instantly, there is a mirror waiting in that hall. All the time. But is your trust great enough?

Compassion for certain parts of oneself can be uncommon. There are usually things we dislike about ourselves that we'd like to change and this is often mirrored by our culture. Buddhist culture has its own lists of unwelcome traits.

It was weird to me to recognize these aspects as a helpless and scared child instead of a troublesome adversary. It was good-weird.

Chet

Chet - I think you wrote once that you weren't keen on poetry - but I found this poem today and it made me think of you .... and me .... and everybody .... because we are all frightened children at some level - but fear is just the flip side of courage. I think that good-weird feeling is really positive,

Gassho

Willow

Fortunate Birth
In the kingdom of children
Every one of you is this child,
An innocent being
Who jumped out of heaven
And landed in Shambhala.
Fortunate birth is who you are --
Everything is perfect in your world.
Your clothing is the mist of heaven,
Your feet covered by dragon's breath,
You are the most fortunate beings on earth.
You are the children of dharma.
Nothing can close your open heart.
Other children suffer, caught in perpetual dilemma --
Because Buddha has touched you,
You are fortunate.
Be dharmic now,
Be powerful now,
Be benevolent now --
Not for me, not for others --
But because that is your blood.
When you feel privileged, use it.
When you feel ashamed, pounce.
Consume that hesitation --
It's only a flicker of your imagination.
You are the blessed people on this earth.
Every atom of your being is Buddha --
What's left is joy.
You have no excuse;
Don't sulk.
You can be sad, for sadness is
the most genuine expression.
Expression of goodness is who you are.
Being a child of dharma is dilemma.
Being a child of dharma is freedom.
Consume this hesitation of not knowing.
Never doubt,
Only walk forward.
Love everything,
For that is why you are here.