The perfect... fake pickles

Making pickles, I know, is for people lucky enough to have time on their hands and sensible enough to spend a lot of it in the kitchen. True pickle-making calls for washing and sterilising of glass jars, for large quantities of vegetable matter and time to prepare them, and for even larger quantities of storage space. That's why humankind invented fake pickle-making, a much easier story in every respect. And an incredibly impressive addition to any summertime meal. To make fake pickles, all you need are a few cheap ingredients and (sometimes) a fridge. Two methods will serve for all occasions, and the fast one is easier.

Fast one: slice an onion very thinly and put in a non-reactive bowl that will hold the slices easily. Put in a little salt, toss well, then add acid - lemon juice or wine vinegar - and toss again. Flavour as you wish, herbs or spices; toss again. Two tricks to remember here. First: put in enough acid to bathe the onions generously, aiming to leave a good-sized puddle at the bottom of the bowl. Second: toss regularly, every 15 minutes or so. It will be edible after one hour and at its best after two to four hours, by which time the acid will have turned the onions from crunchy and sharp-tasting to al dente soft and pleasantly mild in flavour. No fridge needed. You can do the same thing with cucumbers, tomatoes (peeled and seeded) or with very thinly sliced courgettes, if you are so inclined.

The second method calls for more foresight and a little more work. Based on a Chinese method for pickling vegetables, it illustrates - like so much of the best cooking - the transformation of pre-industrial necessity into gourmandising delight. Boil salt in water (around two tablespoons to each litre) until dissolved. In the meantime, shred a smallish cabbage and one or two big carrots; slice a few garlic cloves; assemble your chosen seasonings. A sliced chilli is a killer here. Put the lot in a bowl or a plastic tub.

When the salt is dissolved, pour on just enough of the salted water to cover the vegetable matter. Stir to distribute the flavourings and leave to cool. Cover. Stick in the fridge.

You are now at the beginning of a long, leisurely process of fake pickling. Once or twice a day, stir the cabbage etc thoroughly, to let the bits at the top become the bits at the bottom, and vice versa. After 24 hours, the pickles will be just about edible. But 48 hours is a better minimum. These pickles will keep happily in the fridge for a week or more. The flavour mellows, the texture gets denture-pleasingly soft. It's that easy. None of the hard work, all of the fun.