Resolving Not to Resolve

I, Ann Garvin, am resolving not to resolve.

In fact, I write this long past the January 1st. deadline of New Year’s resolutions. I resolve not to set myself up for failure by creating an expectation I cannot possibly follow.

Here’s how New Years resolutions work for me. At 9:30 PM after I’ve eaten 12 tiny Skor bars that I have purchased thinking that I’m the kind of person that can consume one small treat at bedtime when in fact I am not that kind of person–I vow no more Skor bars in the house. I vow no more tiny reasonable treats because, for Ann Garvin, a bag of tiny reasonable treats becomes 12 unreasonable treats. And then I go buy more treats because I want to be a reasonable person.

In review. I am not reasonable.

That’s the kind of girl I am. If I resolve anything, I rebel. Don’t fence me in baby because the brat inside of me will push back. Does that mean I don’t change my behavior? No, listen to what I’ve changed.

I floss! (often)

I don’t eat candy during the daylight hours (mostly).

I stand during the work day (a bunch).

I don’t drink soda (except on really hot thirsty days in August or when I’m designated driver and I must stay awake).

Have you puzzled out my behavior trick? I never say never. I never resolve.

I know there are some people out there that, when they say, “never again” they mean NEVER AGAIN and they don’t cheat. I bow to these people and truth is, I don’t think these people need my help.

But you, who has trouble with Never Again-we should probably have a sleep over.

Why is NEVER AGAIN so hard for those of us that like our “habits” but find our “habits” don’t like us (or our bellies)?

This is what I think our habits are like. We repeat and repeat behaviors until they are well worn paths in our brains and to our refrigerator during episodes of The Walking Dead. How hard do you think it might for a wagon wheel to wrestle out of a rut? How hard is it for us to get out of our own ruts?

Hard. I’m thinking really hard.

Like Hella hard (as my daughter might say)

So, what I’m thinking is this. Slow and steady. Small changes create a new path. Stop the resolve.

Don’t say I’m going to start on Monday when I wake up, to stop eating pork rinds during breaks. Instead start at Tuesday at 3PM and try to resist just once. Then, create a strategy that helps you work on your desired change. Don’t buy them. Don’t let yourself get so hungry pork rinds is all you can think of, try Goldfish or another alternative. Give yourself lots and lots of options. Head yourself off at the path by creating another path. Try. Fail. Redesign. Try again. It make take a year or five. Don’t beat yourself up and scold yourself, just give yourself a pat and try again.

5 Comments

I totally agree! I feel like it’s time to get rid of the extreme long term goals. Make manageable short-term goals and focus on the baby steps needed to be successful. No long-lasting life change can happen over night!

Ann,
You hit the nail on the head! When are you going to have that sleepover? I definitely need to come. And why is it, I can follow through with my resolutions during the day, but once nighttime hits I give up?

Unreasonable Institute is a mentorship program for entrepreneurs tackling global challenges. Every year, Unreasonable handpicks 25 entrepreneurs from around the world to unite in Boulder under 1 roof for 6 weeks. There, they receive guidance from 50 mentors. They build relationships with over 25 investment funds, scores of other funders, and a network supports them as they work to scale to 1 million beneficiaries.

Buy Now: The Dog Year!

'The Dog Year' is Ann Garvin's new new novel released by Berkley-a Penguin imprint.

'The Dog Year' is Ann Garvin's new novel by Berkley-a Penguin imprint. The Dog Year brings to life new characters that we fall in love with through their everyday happenstance and lively interactions.
Meet Ann here in a brief video about her novel, 'On Maggie's Watch' available through these retailers.

"I know of few authors who are funnier or more sympathetic than Ann Garvin, and I know of few heroines more in need of comic relief and sympathy than Dr. Lucy Peterman. This novel will make your stomach hurt with laughter and your heart ache with sadness. The Dog Year is a kind, gentle, honest look at a woman whose life has come apart and a survivor who puts it all back together."

New York Times best selling author Wiley Cash Author of A Land More Kind Than Home & the upcoming This Dark Road to Mercy

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Ann Garvin is a mother first, an Author (Berkley/Jove a Penguin imprint) a professor of Health (University of Wisconsin Whitewater) and creative writing in the Masters of Fine Arts program at Southern New Hampshire University. She’s a labradoodle at heart; a mutt with real enthusiasm for a people and a good laugh. Read more.

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The secrets & humor of writing, publishing, nutrition, stress, & exercise are some of what you will find in Ann Garvin’s blog. Her blog should be called, “Don’t Fence Me In” or “Come sit by me,” as it is what she would say if you find yourself together. But be prepared to get in trouble for laughing during the boring bits of life. Go to the blog.

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“[...] Ann Wertz Garvin writes with humor & compassion so well; just when I’d feel about to cry the scene would twist and I’d laugh out loud. She has such deep understanding for her flawed and trying-to-get better characters; [...].” -Luanne Rice, New York Times bestselling author of The Deep Blue Sea for Beginners

Tall Poppy Writers

Uniting smart readers with like-minded writers through the Tall Poppy group. Ann knows women are shushed, under-valued, and cut “down to size.” But, Ann knows that if a tall poppy is left to grow, other poppies in the field will rise and reach for the ample sun where everybody gets a voice & everybody gets to grow.