Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

Soliciting a spy

Today my therapist recommended I find a "spy" that works in the coffee shop with the OW. I think he believes the affair is still going on and thinks I should protect myself. A couple of the women (mid 20's) that work there babysit for us but I don't think either one knows about the affair. I've been trying to move on from the details and having a weekly update about the OW prevents this but I obviously don't want to move on if the relationship hasn't completely ended. Advice??

Rebuilding trust is a long, difficult road. Your husband probably hasn't completely earned the right to have the implicit trust which comes before a betrayel. I say listen to your therapist, only if you can handle know the real truth. If you truly want to know, (sometimes ignorance is bliss) then go ahead with this plan. If he is, then you probably need to know it. If he isn't, then you have peace of mind. But be very careful how you approach this and who you ask. This is a delicate time for trust building. You don't want this to backfire. You could casually ask someone to look out for anything suspicious without giving them all of the gory details, and ask them to please use discretion. Make sure it is someone you can trust not to blab about it to other people. Good Luck!

You surely don't want to move on if it hasn't ended and to be honest, I have seen time after time where it supposedly has but it hasn't.

If you can TRUST for certain one of the girls in the coffee shop, you could go that route. I find it hard to believe; however, that they work with the OW and have not gotten so much as an inkling as to what is going on ( which makes me wonder why they haven't come to you a long time ago). And, considering they work with her, chances are? They're friends.

Do you have money to pay for a PI? or have someone track your husband for a while? Or at least have a car you can borrow and a nice wig that fits your head? Wink.

I wouldn't trust anyone the OW works with. In an environment like that they are &quot;thick as thieves&quot;. When the employees at OW's place found out about she and my husband, they thought it was wrong, but they were happy for them and therefore would never advocate for me, an outsider.
Do you have anyone else who could watch and listen for a period of time? Someone who could watch either your husband or the OW? I know that may be difficult to find, since most people would say to drop someone if he is still lying to you, but you need to know for certain. Can you track him? Can you get cell phone records before he does, or check his email? There has to be a way they are contcting one another. Good luck.

I couldn't disagree with your therapist more! You don't know anyone in that coffee shop, why would they trust you, or stick their neck out for you? If you approach one of them they are all going to be whispering about YOU, the crazy coffee lady. It's one thing if you had an established trusted friend who worked there, but a stranger? I SAY NO WAY!

That doesn't mean I don't think you should check things out if you are suspicious, I suggest hiring a Private Investigator.

OH wait, I didn't read you knew a few young ladies who babysit for you. But let me tell you as someone who started babysitting when I was 13 and was even a nanny for 3 years.... There is no bigger gossip! Except those little old ladies and the knitting circle. :)

So far I haven't done anything. One of the girls that works there is babysitting for me next week and I may ask her a few casual questions but if she doesn't know about their affair I think it will sound suspicious if she starts fishing for me and you are right Megan Mc--I think they can be &quot;thick as thieves&quot; in that environment. I know who the OW is friends with there and sadly I'm sure their loyalty is to her. It's sooo hard not to go in there and confront her myself.

Think about this route carefully. I warn becuase I am there and it quickly becomes an obsession that eats you alive. It is no fun, whether you find something or not. All I know is if you look hard enough and truly believe something is happening, you may see signs even where they don't exist. But I completely understand the desire, becuase I'm in the exact same sit. I don't want to try to fix my marriage, if I'm still being lied to.

That being said, I have lot's of tricks up my sleave that are a lot more effective than asking someone to spy, but I don't want to air my dirty laundry to everyone here... still feels sleazy.

Hi all! This is for those of you that have or have had the same neurologist for 4 years or more. I have been with mine now since 2009. He is one of the best movement disorder secialists in the midwest. I know he is extremely busy on the lecture circuit now and in fact not taking new patients there is a huge waiting list for him. BUT.... I feel like my visits are not what they use to be. He...

theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??

All content posted on this site is the responsibility of the party posting such content.
Participation on this site by a party does not imply endorsement of any other party's content,
products, or services. Content should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.