Obesephobe - could this be a new word for the 21st century?

Many terms and emotional strings have been highjacked by obesity apologists. These are the people who use words like acceptance and tolerance as a
weapon to silence others with real concern.

No one seems to note that this OP was not about weight. it was about a way of responding to a question...rude or not to be rude.

If the OP's friend was asking him about a black friend and he does not like blacks, would he say no I am not interested because I hate blacks the no thanks not interested would do, no need to "be honest"to that point!

The whole point is treating people with respect. There was no inclination to HELP this person with a perceived flaw by being honest, this is simply a
non truth.

As far as the weight thing, there is a view that includes more than just body. For instance my Grandmother was moderately large as she got older. I
never even thought about her body, she was a kind wonderful woman who was married to a wonderful cook. I didn't care that she didn't jog...that she
liked to knit and eat and be a lovely kind soul.

As far as any effects on her health I feel that was a personal thing unless i was invited to be involved in her body concerns..what business was it of
mine.

I perceive you as someone who cares about people's health, but this OP was not about that in any way.

I was gaining weight right after my marriage to a guy who loves to cook, someone (a friend) at work took me aside and talked to me about it, I had
truly not even noticed...I had moved and was not running daily, things can catch you pretty fast..a heads up from a kind friend was helpful. Deriding,
laughing calling names...in what way are these things helpful, if you crush a spirit it may never heal.

Personally I accept my overweight friends as they are and love them for who they are. They are the same people whether the body be thick or thin.

I am repulsed every day when I pick my son up from school and see the amount of folks that look just like the photo's in this thread. I truly wonder
of those folks have mirrors.

I guess you all look real good to yourselves in the mirror. Must have no imperfections. RaRa for you.

It appears that you have strong issue with people being allowed to express their revulsion for fat bodies.
As stated earlier, to randomly volunteer this information to someone who is fat would be less than friendly, but you advocate that we should lie to
people if directly asked.

Are you really attempting to make the case that we should all either (A) be attracted to obese people, or (B) pretend that we are, in order to fit
into this all inclusive utopia you must have aspirations for?
The sight of fat people turns me right off, as it does for other people. What possible criticism can you have towards any individual who has a
preference that does not conform to yours?

a reply to: Char-Lee
I gave an honest answer whereas you apparently disguise the truth or lie to your friends.
You can bleat all you like about 'being rude' but the fat friend did not even hear the conversation so there was no victim here. If the fat friend
asked me herself I would give the same honest answer.

You really are clutching at straws with the black/race card though.
Nobody makes the choice to be born in a particular race - the vast majority of fat people can choose to eat less and do more with unsurprising results
that they lose weight.
There is no skin colour or racial features that I find unattractive, but show me a fat person in any racial group and I will be turned off.

Why do you advocate being dishonest with people when discussing your preferences regarding physical attraction?
As I asked before, why would it be acceptable to tell someone you wouldn't want to be with them if they drank or smoke too much but when it comes to
food we should somehow have to feel like they are poor victims of circumstances and pretend that we think they are attractive?

The occasional person being brutally honest should not bring your world down. ( Unless you are living in a fantasy world ).

well there is where you are wrong, people are not all strong nor should they be, our best artists, writers and many scientists were not strong
mentally in the way you are talking about. So is a person has low self esteem and there are a thousand reason why people end up so, boosting it not
slapping them silly is the way to help make changes.

I personally believe we are reborn as what we hate the most, with each life comes more understanding and compassion. I can remember three of my
previous lives and this had led to my belief.

originally posted by: Kryties
The OP gives no regard or thought to the fact that many obese people cannot help it, as obesity can also be genetic or as a result of depression or
some other medical conditions.

All I saw in this thread were people disgusted at the 'fat people' for eating too much.

The ignorance displayed in this thread is astonishing.

Are you delusional? You think everybody has a close to perfect lifestyle? Having a hard life, or a tough week or month, isn't an excuse to eat
yourself into oblivion. While I agree with the medical condition, this doesn't mean that you are REQUIRED to be attracted to them? Please READ the
post and realize what he is saying. He is saying he is not attracted to them. Why is that wrong? He even said if it is a medical condition his heart
goes out to them. Are you kidding me? You're verbally abusing him because of a personal preference?? Maybe you are the ignorant one.

I got a type, in people I like. That doesn't mean i want to kill all blondes...
Just what preferences you have. I bet a lot of people think I am scruffy, kind of # looking- I still consider myself quite okay, mostly.
Doesn't help anybody if we all keep pretending to like everybody, false hopes and all that dumb things, hurt way more.
If you can be okay with who you are it really doesn't matter as much anymore what others think. (Is something I heard someone say once.)

I am what someone would call obese, that is by BMI standards. I'm 6'2" about 295/300, I'm lucky I'm tall. There is no doubt I am fat, but not to
the point of it limiting me in any typical way. I lost 75 pounds 7 years ago, and have gained it back in large part to an opiate addiction(which slows
the metabolism, and makes you not want to exercise), but also my food choices were far from healthy.

I say this to the op, to tell you, speaking from the other side of the coin, I don't think it has to do with repulsion, you just aren't attracted to
overweight women. Shallow as it may sound, neither am I. It has to do with personal preference. I am aware my chances with attractive women are lower
because of my appearance, but I don't hold it against them. As long as you treat overweight/obese people with kindness and respect, I find no problem
with not being attracted to it.

As long as you treat overweight/obese people with kindness and respect, I find no problem with not being attracted to it.

I do. I believe everyone should be able to live and do as they please as long as it doesn't hurt/effect others.

But, that's rarely the way things turn out in reality. A few examples with the obese would be, why would I respect someone else who's lifestyle
causes me to pay a higher health premium? A more expensive airplane ticket due to fuel costs? Why is it on me to be kind to an obese person who
didn't pay for two airplane tickets and is taking up some of the space I paid for? I'd argue it's on them to show more respect for others and the
space they paid for. With so many overweight people in this country, it's also pretty tough to find clothes which fit thin, athletic men at a decent
price. When I'm in Europe, no problem finding affordable, fitting clothes. Here, clothes are made in a large part for un-athletic, overweight bodies.
You know what I also find to be a lack or respect form obese people towards others? Those who ride the motorized carts at the super market due to
their laziness instead of reserving those carts for actual handicapped individuals.

What gets lost in much of this, and no it's not all obese people so I'm trying not to lump them all in this together, but it's the attitude of me
being obese and living an unhealthy lifestyle is my right because it doesn't effect others. It's wrong. Sure anyone has the right, but it surely
does effect others. Why is it put on the healthier population to simply be more respectful and accepting of chosen lifestyles which do in fact, effect
them? Smoking is a choice and those who smoke pay higher health premiums and most don't have an issue with that. Why should being obese be any
different, unless you have a legit medical excuse which likely would happen with 3-5% of the obese in this country? Yet I get the impression if the
obese were made to pay higher health premiums, they'd cry about others not catering to their needs and being accepting enough.

Doesn't help anybody if we all keep pretending to like everybody, false hopes and all that dumb things, hurt way more.

I completely agree, and struggle to understand those who have issue with being honest if asked.
No-one has really addressed this except for lame accusations of 'being rude' whatever that is, when being truthful to a person regarding questions
about my perceptions of attractiveness in another person.
And I ask for about the 3rd time now, can any people who have issue with my OP and subsequent contributions here, please tell me why it is OK to say I
am not attracted to someone who clearly drinks, smokes or does drugs, in excess, yet it is 'rude' to have the same honesty with someone who clearly
eats too much?

originally posted by: Timmerman421
I don't think it has to do with repulsion, you just aren't attracted to overweight women. Shallow as it may sound, neither am I. It has to do with
personal preference. I am aware my chances with attractive women are lower because of my appearance, but I don't hold it against them. As long as you
treat overweight/obese people with kindness and respect, I find no problem with not being attracted to it.

Thank you for the considered and rational reply.
The issue I have in the OP is the pressure to lie to people with an obvious high body fat percentage, and to look for other diluted reasons to
dishonestly/misleadingly explain why one is not attracted to them.
I treat people with kindness and respect no matter how thin or fat they are, but I will not start being untruthful if asked my stance/opinion. I
prefer an honest world, and lies do not help a person deal with a self inflicted condition, it is likely to prolong it.

You should be kind and respectful, because it's the right thing to do. Sounds to me like you have a problem with policy, and I agree that you should
not have to bear the burdens you have stated. But I don't believe this is a reason for not being kind and harboring disrespect.

And I'm not saying you have to lie about anything. But not all obese people are lazy, or feel that it's your duty to take care of them. Though these
problems exist, giving the entire obese population a reputation of disgust. I agree that a man should be responsible for how he maintains himself. And
if you aren't obese don't even try to talk about finding clothes. Clothes with any fashion value whatsoever, are made for you average, skinny
people. You ever seen an obese man in a Burberry shirt?

You should be kind and respectful, because it's the right thing to do. Sounds to me like you have a problem with policy, and I agree that you should
not have to bear the burdens you have stated. But I don't believe this is a reason for not being kind and harboring disrespect.

Who said I wasn't being kind or was harboring disrespect?

I think you should be kinder to people who are being taken advantage of instead of creating strawman arguments and showing such a level if disrespect
you don't care to understand the issue.

I understand the issue, my brain is toast after finals, I was only speaking as an obese person trying to contradict certain points I felt you had. No
disrespect meant, I have just been obese my whole life and am sick of being treated like a 2nd class citizen. I am worn out, forgive me if I offended
you, I am just sick of it all

I guess you all look real good to yourselves in the mirror. Must have no imperfections. RaRa for you.

It appears that you have strong issue with people being allowed to express their revulsion for fat bodies.

As stated earlier, to randomly volunteer this information to someone who is fat would be less than friendly, but you advocate that we should lie to
people if directly asked.

??
Does this sound like that was asked?

who asked me if I was interested in another mutual female friend because she had seen we get along/have laughs/enjoy each others company during group
social events.
I replied something like "Not a chance, she's way too big for my liking" and was met with "Aw that's horrible, you can't say that!". -

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