Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Sure. Blame it on Beretta.

It seems Maryland, like California and Colorado, has become two (almost) separate states, with the eastern loony Yankee half on one side and the rational, sane, Southern half (actually western) on the other.

I've always, since I was old enough to remember, despised and reviled Yankees. My great grandmother called them "bluebellies" and "Union whores" (referring to the Confederacy versus the Union) and "scum-sucking sons of bitches." Then she'd start getting ugly.

Thank God she wasn't alive to see that I married outside of my race in 1992. In 1990, I met the woman of my dreams, took her on a flying date and was absolutely smitten. Yep, I married a beautiful woman from Maine. Can't get much more yankee than that. Still married, too.

In Texas, yankees were especially reviled as so many Confederate soldiers and refugees fled here after the War of Northern Aggression. When the redlegs and bluebellies came to Texas trying to arrest or hassle or outright rape and pillage our newest guests, things rarely ended up well for the northern soldiers--who, for the record were rogue sons of bitches who had no honor whatsoever and soiled the name and reputation of all soldiers.

So, I find myself in the rare situation of empathizing with some folks in western Maryland.

You see, upon joining the military and suddenly being thrust into the great melting pot, I learned that "yankee" was really more of an attitude than anything else. It was a state of mind versus a geographical location. Today, I consider "yankee" to be synonymous with "bed-wetting pinko communist alpha-hotel."

And it seems the western half of Maryland is fed up with the eastern bed-wetting pinko communist alpha-hotel side of the state.

Hooyah!

We've seen this in California on the north side of the state in which a handful of counties have had enough and want to form their own state, calling it "Jefferson," I believe. Same in Colorado where I think there are at least eleven sane, rational, American counties left who wish Denver would move to Chicago and Boulder would move to Berkeley.

Of course, just as with western Maryland, it will not happen, but nonetheless it is encouraging to see at least one thing about it all.

And that is that we have irreconcilable differences in this nation.

We have the liberals and entitlement-minded, socialists who see government as the answer to everything on one side, and we have the conservatives who see government as more of a problem to most things rather than a solution. You've all seen the famous "red/blue" election map. In land mass, lot more red than blue.

I've been a huge proponent of simply dividing the U.S. up along those lines, with the red states taking New Mexico and Colorado, tossing out the yankees and making the states red so that we do not have to drive or fly around them to get to Arizona, Utah or Wyoming. Nevada is a toss-up. Give Vegas to California and we'll keep Hoover Dam and call it square.

The northeast states, from eastern Maryland up through Maine can stay blue, as can the Pacific rim of California, Oregon and Washington. We--the red states--will keep Alaska and the blue can have Hawaii if they can pry it away from the Japanese.

We'll have to do a little housecleaning in Wisconsin and Michigan, but it shouldn't be too bad. Illinois will be easy--just one big tremendous flush of the national commode and we'll send Chicago to Bejing.

I read from the keyboard commandos about Civil War II, or CW2, and I keep thinking it's some video game--since that is what keyboard commandos basically are all about. I read about preppers and survival zealots and mall ninjas running around with pimped out black guns and spandex cargo pants getting ready to tactically do something or the other.

No need.

The elections since 2000 have shown we are a nation evenly split down the middle. Why fight about it? Blue states go their way, red states go our way. We have the guns, after all. The keyboard commandos fret over the heavily armed DHS stormtroopers, but I don't. I've seen them shoot. Besides, they'll be needed in the new Blue America every time there is a food or cell phone shortage or some sports team wins a championship.

Once again, we have another example of why this nation needs to start drawing new borders, and of all things, Maryland is now in the mix of it all.

Beretta saw it and said, "Hey, we'll save you the trouble. We're moving." They'll leave their suits in Maryland for a little while, but the business end of the gun maker is moving to Tennessee. Magpul is out of Colorado for Wyoming and Texas. AR15.com fled New York for Texas.

The elections this November will be a preview of things to come. The elections in November 2016, I think, will determine the future of America and whether or not we stay one nation or divide into two.

4 comments:

There is (was) a great truck stop in far western Md at Keysors Ridge. I believe it was at exit 4. One of the few redeeming things about the whole state. Kind of like the difference between NYC and upstate NY. Two completely different worlds.

i moved from maryland three years ago because of it's politics. however i will say one thing, the eastern shore has gone republican! i think the center of the state is trying to gerrymander to change this though. also, i think the west part of the state is trying to create a new state unto itself.

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