About Me

A working mother of three children (Zeenee 14, Anabella 10 & Budgie 8) and wife to Cheap Bastard...failing to balance the pressures of child rearing, home management and a career. Something has to give....I'm very giving...I'll give you my job.

Disposable cell phones. Did you see him crush that $500 cell phone with his foot like it was a used cigarette? Dammit, I had to give my $50 cell phone to Zeenee cause I never charged it and you thought I didn't need it anymore...man, a cell phone that you could just crush...like a bug...and no one would call you on that number anymore...that's freedom baby.

Not to mention the big paydays...$100 million bucks a pop...I could buy me another cell phone again maybe.

Okay, it's on again. You can't go talking through the commercials, cause there are no commercials...this is on DVD you know.

I know...I hate DVD's. Everytime we rent one they're scratched and they skip...pee me off, we miss half the movie forwarding to a spot with no scratches. We never once had that happen with VHS. If I was an Arms Dealer I'd have only VHS in my lear jet. I'd revolutionize the way Arms Dealers watched movies the world over!

Dammit! I just missed what Jack said...will you stop talking?!

I think that baby that Chloe brought into CTU is bugged. You watch, that baby is gonna get on her cell phone and talk to the Arms Dealer when Kim walks away from that desk...then she'll probably crush that cell phone like a bug...don't leave any evidence there girl...it'll probably be a nice cell phone too.

Vick! Can we just watch this?

Sorry! Just trying to make things better for us financially...

(The episode ends and Zeenee is on IM furiously typing to her friends)

Your mother wants to be an Arms Dealer. She wants to sell guns and bombs and spread viruses all over the world. What do you think of that?

Zeenee: Mmmm.Mmmm. (shrug)

When you put it like that you make it sound so sordid. You don't have to be jealous...It's not like I wouldn't let you ride on my lear jet once in a while. I could pick you up from your boring job, we could quickly do a deal and then off to our hideout in Columbia for dinner. Man, 100 million dollars on a Monday...I wouldn't have to work for at least another month! Of course I'd have to put some fuel in the jet...jet fuel isn't cheap you know...then I could get another cell phone...search out some new leads on saleable arms.

You'd like to ride on my lear jet right Zeenee? I'd let you hold the metal breifcase.

(Zeenee shrugs...and feverishly types an SOS to her friends. "Help me, the 'rents are at it again!")

How does someone get started in the Arms Dealer business do you think?

I think first off you should have actually held a gun at least once in your life. Actually shooting one is probably a prerequisite. And I think you have to be able to identify different weapons. Growing up in Canada probably hasn't helped you much in that department.

Like the difference between an AK47 and a Beretta?

Yeah, which is which Ms. Arms Dealer?

One of them is a handgun, I know that for sure.

(eyeroll)

I wonder if they have an apprenticeship program...

Desperate to be a Housewife

Time until I'm back with my family: 6 hours, 2 minutes

Laundry List: Arms Dealers don't do laundry...or even take their own Armani suits to the cleaners.

Deep Thoughts With Jack Handy:Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, we should be thinking about getting more use out of the ones we already have.