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CEDARS

Questions that Save Lives

Suicide is the 11th leading cause of death for individuals 15-24 years old. So why don’t we talk about it? Initiating a conversation about suicide is uncomfortable and it is difficult to feel equipped to hear the response. But asking the question “Are you thinking about killing yourself” is the one question that can save a life.

Warning Signs
How do you know someone might be suicidal? The American Association of Suicidology uses the acronym “IS PATH WARM”.I Ideation (are they thinking about suicide?)S Substance Abuse (drugs and alcohol lower inhibitions)

If you notice any of these signs, initiate the conversation. Ask “Are you thinking about killing yourself?”

Tips for an Uncomfortable Conversation

Don’t Minimize
When you notice the warning signs in someone or they tell you they’ve thought about suicide, believe them. Often times the first inclination is to “fix” the problem or use logic to “talk them out of it”. We might want to say things like “It’s not that bad”, “Time heals everything” or “You wouldn’t actually follow through with it”.

Even though well intentioned, those responses close the door to an important conversation. Responses like “Oh really, tell me more about that”, or “I can really tell you’re hurting right now, let’s talk to someone” validates the person and allows them to feel safe talking to you.

Initiate the Conversation
The biggest fear in asking someone if they’re considering suicide is the belief that you’re going to “give them the idea”. This is one of the biggest and most dangerous myths about suicide. Even young kids have heard about suicide. If you ask someone if they’ve thought about suicide, it will not give them that idea!

Starting the conversation can be difficult. Start with letting them know you care and then be direct in asking. Phrases you could use: “You have seemed down recently. I’m worried about you. Are you thinking about suicide?” or “Could we talk a minute, I’ve heard you make a few comments about feeling hopeless recently. Are you thinking about suicide at all?”

Be direct. Don’t talk around the subject. Don’t ask if they feel like “hurting themselves”. Ask specifically about their current thoughts about completing suicide. When we avoid using the word ‘suicide’ it can create a sense that it’s not okay to talk about it, or show them you’re too uncomfortable with suicidal thoughts to openly discuss it.

Listen
Show the person you’re talking to that you care and are willing to listen. Take time to ask questions about their feelings and experiences. Avoid cutting the other person off or offering advice on handling the situation. Give the person an opportunity to open up.

Respond
Be genuine in how you respond. The biggest fear many people have in asking someone about suicide is the fear of doing or saying the wrong thing. If you listen and respond with genuine care and concerns, you will not do more harm in the situation.

Help minimize their access. If someone is having active thoughts about attempting suicide in the immediate future try to minimize their access to weapons, guns, medications, or vehicles. Get them help immediately by calling 911. If it is someone in your household that is considering suicide, lock medications in a cabinet, put all guns and knives in a locked safe, and limit driving privileges if necessary.

Assist the person in seeking help. Sit with them while they call the hotline 1-800-273-TALK (8255), take them to a local hospital or call 911 if you need immediate assistance.

Simply asking, listening, and offering genuine supports are truly the keys to saving a life.

Suicide vs Self Harm
Often suicide and self-harm are talked about interchangeably but they are two very different experiences that serve two very different purposes. Self-harm is the use of self-inflicted pain to release or distract from emotions that are unpleasant; it is an unhealthy way to cope with negative feelings. Suicide serves to allow the person to escape a situation or feeling completely. While some people who self-harm may eventually attempt suicide, they are not interchangeable experiences.

Privacy Policy

Our privacy policy is designed to assist you in understanding how we collect, use, and safeguard the personal information you provide, whether online or offline, and to assist you in making informed decisions when using our site. This statement will be continuously assessed against new technologies, ethical practices, and the needs of our users.
CEDARS respects the privacy of those who visit this site.

Information We Collect?
When you visit our website you may provide us with two types of information: personal information you knowingly choose to disclose that is collected on an individual basis and website use information collected on an aggregate basis as you and others browse our website.

Personal Information You Choose to Provide
We may request that you voluntarily supply us with personal information, including your e-mail address, postal address, home or work telephone number and other personal information for such purposes as correspondence, employment application, or a tax-deductible transaction.
If you choose to correspond with us through e-mail, we may retain the content of your e-mail messages together with your e-mail address and our responses. We provide the same protections for these electronic communications that we employ in the maintenance of information received by mail and telephone.
The names of donors are kept in strictest confidence. Whether the information has been provided online or offline, your information will never be sold, rented or exchanged with other organizations.
CEDARS never gives away nor sells information about our donors. If you choose to email us and provide personally identifiable information about yourself, CEDARS will use this information only to respond to your inquiry. CEDARS will not sell, rent or otherwise disclose that information to third parties unless such a disclosure is necessary for the purposes set forth in this Policy, by law or a policy or notice contained or associated with a specific CEDARS product or service.

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When you visit our site, our Web server automatically recognizes the domain name of your computer or Web-enabled device.
This website compiles conventional log files to monitor and assess activity including traffic and visits on, and related to, the site. This activity does not specifically identify any individual user without prior notice to the user through use of the site.
We do not use or disclose information about your individual visits to this site. The information collected is used to improve and enhance the content and services of this site.

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Periodically, our operations and business practices are reviewed for compliance with organization policies and procedures governing the security, confidentiality and quality of our information.
Our organization’s values, ethical standards, policies and practices are committed to the protection of user information. In general, our business practices limit employee access to confidential information, and limit the use and disclosure of such information to authorized persons, processes and transactions.

Access And Correction
You may request access to all your personally identifiable information that we collect and maintain in our database by e-mailing us using the contact form provided to you within the site structure of our website.

Accountability
If you feel that CEDARS is not living up to its stated privacy policy, you may contact us using the contact form provided within the site structure of this website.

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