Summary: Examples of personal and LTR transformation after two years of internalizing the truth and practicing the wisdom shared in the Manosphere.

Body: Background: I am early 40’s, in an LTR with a woman close to my age, let’s call her Woman. Three children. We divorced and separated for a few years somewhere in the middle, then reconciled. I was ready to leave again due to frustration from lack of sex, when I discovered TRP two years ago, read extensively, and went to work. Lifting and improving my SMV, practicing dread, identifying and passing shit tests, setting goals, kicking ass, building and maintaining a worthy frame.

And thanks to you brilliant bastards, everything is dramatically improved, and I feel enormous gratitude for those who have shown me the way (in the absence of a knowledgeable father). Some examples to illustrate the difference:

Before: I was like “Spreadsheet Husband,” the guy who kept track of the (lack of) sexual contact with his wife. Once a month was routine, sometimes twice, sometimes skip a month…

After: I still keep track, using a period-tracker app (which I highly recommend to anyone in an LTR). Frequency increased slowly over many months of practice, then we had a breakthrough into a whole new frame, averaging 10-12x per month, which satisfies me at this stage of my busy life.

Before: Always wanting sex, always frustrated, always scheming to find a way to get her in a good mood (ha!), to make everything good and right so she would be willing to have sex. Always trying to negotiate desire, then being butthurt and cold to her when she resisted or I couldn’t make it happen.

After: When I want sex, I go to Woman and grab her, I smack her ass and show her my uncontrollable desire for her. I put her body and her hands where I want them. I tune into what I want and I give/take it.

Before: When the rare sex did happen, I was always trying to make it amazing and give her lots of orgasms so she would want to have more sex in the future (ha!). Always a romantic, thinking about what she wants and trying to please.

After: I focus on what I want and don’t overly concern myself with her pleasure – I tune into the dominant/submissive nature of sex and express myself. I tell her what to do. It is Very Clear that she enjoys sex a lot more this way, with a passionate masculine beast ravishing her. Sometimes, usually around her ovulation window, she signals that she wants more attention, and I take care of her until she begs me to stop.

Before: Trying to warm her up, be sweet and talkative, sharing, sad as she pulls away, covers up, isn’t interested.

After: Close the door and lock it (keep the kids out), smile at her with a lion’s hungry gaze, pull the pants away that she is trying to put on, push her on the bed, tease her, do what I want.

Before: I would show her my feelings and vulnerabilities, share my problems and challenges at work, share confusion and exasperation about the kids’ issues. Try to be Human and get her to love me for my genuine communication and tenderness.

After: I am a rock. I am a man with a Mission. I set goals and persevere and celebrate my achievements. Woman only hears of the problems I have solved, maybe my plans to attack future challenges. I am the Father, confident, wise, disciplined, stoic. I do my research and look for help and answers from trusted sources. And while I enjoy discussing our children with Woman and gain from her insight (thankfully she is a good mother), I show only strength and my joy in being a man, husband, and father to her.

Before: “Sorry.” I said the word all the time, explained myself, justified my actions and feelings.

After: It took months of watching like a hawk, and now I only apologize when I judge that I have caused harm to someone and wish to express sincere regret. Otherwise, I do not explain myself, I often simply tune into amused mastery and enjoy mysterious silence. I carefully watch to avoid justifying or rationalizing any actions I take – rather I choose actions and words deliberately and stand tall when Woman or other people shit test me. [I carefully policed my thoughts and words to break these habits. Every time I hear the word ‘sorry’ escape my lips, I stop and analyze if it was warranted. Usually it is not, and then I plan out a better course for the next time such a situation arises.]

[Aside: the importance of the words we use in our thoughts and speech cannot be overestimated. To provide examples, instead of ‘sorry’ I may say:
“It’s too bad that happened…”
“Hmmm….”
“I regret that [describe what happened]”
“Oops.”
(Silence and a knowing look).

Before: Taking her moods seriously, trying to fix the disagreeable ones and encourage their opposite.

After: Focusing on myself and my mission. Her moods are the weather in the background. Not only am I not concerned about her moods, I actively welcome the emotional rollercoaster she may ride if we have conflict. I simply stay true to myself and what I believe is right (which may change if she shares information or insight), and I know that the passion in our relationship is recharging from the tension. I smile knowing we will be having great sex later, rather than feeling anxious and frustrated that her upset emotional state means no sex now.

Before: Being angry about the imbalance of sexual desire. Wishing she would initiate, or at least give signs that she is interested in sex with me. Frustrated that it wasn’t like before, when we were dating…

After: Embracing the role of the man and taking initiative whenever I feel like it, expecting her submission. Understanding that sexual tension/excitement is optimized when I am dominant and she submits to me.

[Note: My thorough bluepill, feminine-centric programming dictated that I see her as a perfectly-equal being, like myself in every way except genitalia. Following the “Golden” (Blue) Rule, I continuously judged my actions toward her in light of how I would want to be treated, dedicated to doing what was “right” and, God Forbid, never dominating her, shitlord. It is remarkable how much our sex improved through this transformation, how liberating it has been. And how clear it is to me that she loves the feeling of being submissive to a real man doing what he wants - she tells me she is happier than ever.]

Before: Always stressed about money and trying to get her to spend less. Expecting an equal partner and getting extremely upset about our struggling finances. Frequently went against my gut when trying to please her/negotiate desire.

After: Separated our money and took charge of my income. Earned a generous raise in 2015 and am generating income from work on the side. I accept and embrace that I am 100% responsible for my financial situation, and I no longer enable her spending. I am unconcerned about her emotional response to my financial decisions, and her behavior has shifted to fit the new container I have created.

Before: Taking her shit seriously, often judgmental or thoughtful and wanting to teach her or help her. Wanting her to be different.

After: Not saying much, no point. I have fun listening, watching how she works. AWALT. I am playful or stoic as appropriate, and she is much happier with a strong man who can listen without being emotionally thrown-off. From my perspective, this is a short and mysterious life, and I find her very fascinating and enjoyable now that I understand her nature and have no expectations of her to be something she’s not.

Before: Asking “if it’s cool” if I go do something at night or with friends, trying not to upset her, thanking her if I did go, probably apologizing after for the inconvenience. Never mentioning other women/girls.

After: I tell her when I plan to go out and leave the details as vague as possible. I express my enthusiasm for going out and doing things with other people, with no hint of concern that it may affect her. I prioritize the gym and the court. I will share stories of other girls/women in my life, building SMV and dread (the lifeblood of an LTR).

Before: Asking her questions about how I can help her in the kitchen or with some other task. Show her how supportive and helpful I am, negotiating my covert contract for sex.

After: I look with discerning eyes and take care of shit – empty the trash, carve the chicken, etc., then I spank her and go work on my mission. I am here when she needs help, her rock, not her girlfriend.

Before: “I love you” all the time. Mad inside when she didn’t say it often enough or when I thought she should. Believing she would want to hear my eternal love professed; giving her what I wanted. Negotiating attraction.

After: Hard Rule: I Never Say It First. I show her, a physical expression, a passionate intimacy and domination of her being. Now I often hear the words spoken in the breathless tone I longed for in my previous life. I smile knowingly and return the words. [Note: I respond, “I love you.” Rather than, “I love you, too” because it removes the implication that I am saying it as a polite response. My frame is to look into her eyes and say it with intensity and meaning, responding to her need for security by projecting the essence of masculine strength and protection. And sometimes I don’t say anything, just grab her clothes and pull her to me, or tease her if it is said light heartedly.]

Before: Believing in the karmic, soul-mate, “love me for who I am” Hollywood fantasy and thinking Woman had similar romantic feelings, along with valuing loyalty, sacrifice, integrity and honor.

After: Knowing my (perceived) SMV must be and stay higher than hers, that she is gone in a heartbeat, a moment of (perceived) weakness. Embracing my aloneness, knowing she can only love me for how I make her feel in this moment. Bittersweet and poetic, for Woman there is only the now, her satisfaction based on her perception of her man’s status and frame in each moment. While things are mostly awesome after the Transformation, AWALT and it’s only working because I am doing the work.

Before: Fear of losing her, of fucking it up, of her finding some other great guy, of not keeping my family together, wanting it to work with the mother of my kids. Not confronting her over disagreements in parenting. Oneitis.

After: Fuck that, I am awesome and getting awesomer. I know there are many women, younger and more attractive than her, swooning at the thought of a man like me (Dominant, Confident, and armed with the Truth). Abundance mentality - I’m happy to keep her around as long as she behaves and is submissive, charming, respectful. I tease her about other women and cultivate dread. I challenge and encourage her to be the best parent she can, rather than thinking she automatically knows best as the mother.

It is clear: living by the principles of true gender dynamics gives the best results for the man, woman and children in the family. The righteous path of the red-pill-aware, mission-focused, disciplined man can result in a healthy, satisfying relationship. Of course, AWALT, and mate selection is difficult and critical. I feel fortunate in this regard.

Lessons Learned:

Read the sidebar and the top posts/comments from all time. Study, practice, revisit the theory if you hope to stand a chance.

Lifting is essential for the right mindset.

AWALT. I had to actually become a masculine man, hold my frame, and be willing to walk away.

This is an amazingly succinct and concise account of what it is to go from Blue Pill to Red Pill. This illustrates and demonstrates basically how all the learning, theory reading, and teaching are applied, in contrast specifically to what you should not be doing. This should 100% be on the bottom of the sidebar, kind of like a "this is what you can be if you work at it" after you've done all the theory reading above. I applaud you OP for your transformation and for your dedication to this community by sharing this post with the wider folk.

Turning around a bad LTR, and a divorced one at that, is like changing course on the Titanic. Not impossible...but pretty fucking close to it. props to you.

Separated our money and took charge of my income. Earned a generous raise in 2015 and am generating income from work on the side. I accept and embrace that I am 100% responsible for my financial situation, and I no longer enable her spending. I am unconcerned about her emotional response to my financial decisions, and her behavior has shifted to fit the new container I have created.

Fuck them. There's no point in policing ourselves, everyone knows what he means. We don't have to pander to those who can't utilize a little critical thinking.

Edit: since I've gotten some downvotes, I suggest if you disagree that you go look up redpillschool's post to the community from about a year ago, and specifically focus on where he discusses doing (or not doing) this very thing.

I remember watching an animal documentary from National Geographic. A bunch of smaller beta monkeys smell the sex in the air so they gang up on a female and drag her off into the woods and all try to bang her. She resists heavily, and only a couple of them get a few quick pumps in. Later, that very same female monkey sees the alpha male of the pack. She literally presents herself, and he pumps and dumps her like it was his right. He then wanders off and has several other female monkeys take care of him while he relaxes.

Humans are nothing but super-evolved apes. We still do the exact same things that they do, even if we don't like to admit it.

I love this clarification. 1) What /u/diamonddaedalist said makes sense. Women like men with a high SMV. Even though it appears like semantics to some I'm sure, you helped to make an important distinction in what is and isn't rape. That's valuable to everyone who sees the subreddit. 2) That helps with the subreddit's reputation and trp community as a whole.

So I just ran into this sub and read this post. The bad shit in this is almost everything ive done wrong in my last relationship. I'm inspired. I think I'm going to read up on this shit and fix my self.

I think children make all of this work you're doing worthwhile. You are raising up worthy successors to your name that will do good in this world. The continued influence of both a father

Removing kids from the equation makes me doubt the point in having LTR's. The longer I think about it and evaluate my past experiences the more I'm drawn to the conclusion- relationships are rigged to be enjoyable for women.

Their job description is minimal, while benefiting greatly from your value. Should you not make the cut she simply swings to the next and resumes her parasitic life. Guys get cut down and she'll always find new validation and company. Ensuring she's never left alone or wanting. The way women approach relationships is absolutely shocking to me the more I'm finding out about their outlook on things. They treat it like a status boost by unlocking the 'relationship status' on Facebook. Treating the guy like a possession for their use until they are bored. Women don't really enter an LTR with any goals or principles.

I've seen guys get mauled, absolutely broken by their exes. Those without proper guidance or 'the truth' are left to their own devices. We enter these relationships with the best intentions. We want to do well and enjoy it. Then it turns into a drag.

Even if you have perfect LTR game, secretly you'd prefer being single again. None of the hassle and triple the fun. Society tells us that it's bad to leave a girl heartbroken, so we don't do it. Because we feel some fucked up fatherly empathy for her. Yet women do it by default, no regrets.

Perhaps all of this work would be worth it if they could cook my dinner but they've even forgotten how to do that.

I hear you man. It really helps me to see the truth as Natural Law, who am I to judge nature's ways?

And I would much rather be a man, I do not envy women.

If I didn't have children with Woman, it would be very different. I will say that being a father is awesome, and I enjoy my life - and being a father with a functioning family is a big part of the 'mission accomplished' satisfaction I experience every day.

After: I am a rock. I am a man with a Mission. I set goals and persevere and celebrate my achievements. Woman only hears of the problems I have solved, maybe my plans to attack future challenges. I am the Father, confident, wise, disciplined, stoic. I do my research and look for help and answers from trusted sources. And while I enjoy discussing our children with Woman and gain from her insight (thankfully she is a good mother), I show only strength and my joy in being a man, husband, and father to her.

I can understand not whining about small things or even big things that you can fix. But if it's a death in the family are you still not allowed to grieve on her shoulder? That's kind of fucked up.

A death in the family is a special situation - grieving on her shoulder is acceptable, crying like a helpless, confused, weak child is not. Showing her your passion and emotions is part of the relationship, and grief is not weakness.

I walk into the kitchen to clean my coffee cup, and maybe 2/5 I go in there, someone is using the sink. I'm not one for small talk, so I will just quietly stand in line behind them and wait. I don't act impatient or rude or anything of the sort.

Now if it's a man in front of me, nearly 100% of the time they say something like "Hey." or "All done." or "There you go." Women on the other had almost always give me this sheepish look and say "Sorry." Sorry for what, exactly?

I can only imagine how weak that seems to women if it annoys the fuck out of me the way it does.

Financial problems were certainly a reason for our relationship failing, although lack of sex was the primary issue.

Since we divorced, that separated our finances, and I have maintained this boundary since the reconciliation. Part of my mission is to master and excel in the financial domain, so I decided that I would be 100% responsible for making this happen. I will listen to her wants, concerns, etc., just like I would listen to my teenage daughter's, but at the end of the day, I decide.

If your dad is like the Before me, he needs to make a clear plan and execute, with no fear of his woman's emotional reactions.

One of the things I've learned from TRP is that the most important thing an LTR is soft dread. Even if it's unintentional.

I keep my SMV one step ahead and it leads to amazing outcomes. She's happy to be with me and fucks, cooks, and let's me do what I want.

A lot of my friends have slipped behind, and their wives have become either resentful or just disgusted. If I slip, I'll be there too. And why shouldn't I be? If my wife wanted a fat bitch to hang around with, she'd hang out with her friend Melissa.

I am, where you were. I'm married with a 2.5 year old daughter, but my wife and I have been separated for roughly 2 months (not what I want). It still is killing me, but my weak moments are fewer and further between and with less amplitude. I've only just now starting feeling that OI, and realizing I don't need her, but I would rather it work out. That said, I sincerely hope I can have a story similar to yours at some point. If you don't mind, what would you say, was the catalyst for your reconciliation with your wife? Was it TRP mindset ?

I cannot stress enough to people that keeping yourself happy, and focusing on improving yourself is the most important aspect. Women like success and us as men need to strive towards it. Men do not understand how important it is to get your shit in line and locked on, this will ultimately make you more attractive as a whole package then trying to keep one or a handful of women happy.

Am I naive in thinking that not all women are fit to play the role of submissive housewife? I really loved this post, and it makes a lot of sense to me, but I can't help but think that this dominant/submissive relationship is applicable to all women. Inb4 nawalt. I've known many ambitious and strong women that would be miserable playing the role of someone like your wife.

Am I naive in thinking that not all women are fit to play the role of submissive housewife?

They aren't. But you are talking maaaaybe 10%-15% of women can't do this. And that's being extremely generous. If a woman doesn't want to submit to you, it's because she judges you as unworthy. Ambitious and "strong" does not mean that she doesn't want to be dominated by an even stronger man. You can't fight evolution.

It is generally expressed that few women in current society are fit to LTR, but it is in women's nature to want to play the submissive role. She was miserable before TRP, when I tried to always treat her as a 100% equal and partner.

I believe she would say she is ambitious and strong, and in her eyes, things are just magically better now. She probably even feels that our relationship improved because of her - that I finally 'got it' because of her wonderfulness. I have been careful to never mention TRP or any of my conscious improvement.

If you described it to her with the words we use, she would probably say she would be miserable - in reality she is happier than ever.

Thanks! Sounds like you've had quite a couple of years, looking forward to employing much of these approaches in a future LTR. Been having decent success learning to spin plates for a couple of years but the interactions are way more shallow than what you're shared. Same approach, but lacking any history with the person or knowledge of what makes them tick. LTRs obviously aren't the most popular thing around here, but with a woman who isn't broken I'd want to do it.

How much would you say Woman identifies with twenty-something "dating" culture? I mean to ask, is she broken/how broken? I want to find a young one to have an LTR with and eventually pop some babbies out, but it feels impossible to do except as BB. I'm early-30s and the girls I dated in high school/college in the Midwest are turning into good submissive wives and mothers, but I don't see it happening that way with the 20-somethings in my feminist utopia of a city.

BTW, did you re-marry or does your reconciliation make it official again? Sounds like epic win if you're simply in a LTR with the mother of your kids. Curious because dreading while married vs. not married might change dynamics, thoughts? Also, can you talk a bit about your geography? Are there lots of Alpha Fux about? Are people materialistic?

Thanks again, reading this was a nice breath of fresh air for an LTR-minded dude. Well, well done.

1) AWALT. You're using the word "broken," but that's an ambiguous term. Furthermore, your fantasy of finding a "non-broken" or slightly less damaged goods is that: a fantasy. The next woman you're with has slept with chad and manipulated BB. Twenty year olds have yet to hit the wall, and their hypergamous nature is universal until they hit that wall.

2) More importantly, you've missed the point of the post. /u/TRPatriot's post claims that he has experienced happiness because he no longer expects women to behave like men. He understands the roles and makes her enter into his frame.

The more you hold onto a fantasy that there's a woman out there who is "unbroken"; the more likely you are to experience disappointment and go Blue to delude yourself into that fantasy.

1) Broken is indeed ambiguous, though not incompatible with AWALT. I'll explain what I mean, it isn't "not having ridden the carousel" exactly. Chicks can be fucked up like from a broken family that'll make them embrace multitudes of strange D, I'm talking chicks from good families who aren't damaged upon arrival. All eggs can become damaged, but I wouldn't buy a carton with any broken eggs in it and I'd be careful taking them home. I've dated 19 year old virgins from healthy Catholic families and as recently as 25, they aren't unicorns but they're not broken. And yes, they'll jump on the carousel if it looks appealing.

2) I get where you're coming from, I have no expectation of women behaving like men. But like men, mental health can vary, I'm asking specifically to gauge the context of the area and how it would play into a girl's likelihood of jumping ship because the grass outside is greener. I'm from the Midwest and there is a whole different set of vices and values there, compared to my feminazi infested West-coast city I'm at now. AWALT indeed, but I'm gauging contextual aggravating factors, not trying to establish where to find unicorns... we all know where they live :)

If you think getting some strange is what makes a woman "broken", then yeah, you will never find one that isn't. But let's not pretend that there isn't a difference between the coked up whore that turns tricks for a living and a normal woman who has had 10-15 partners in her lifetime. "Broken" is referring to her mental state.

Or, a helpful post which gives clarity to a blue to red pill transformation and will serve to benefit those who are struggling to understand how the differences play out.

Take off your rotten fish and shit-stained spectacles and you will see the post for what it's worth; a clear, concise post full of blue and red pill differences and how the two 'pills' differ in situations.