A bad joke for today

Everyone needs a little levity, and life recently has made me need some levity bad. So here’s a couple of jokes for your “enjoyment.” Laugh or groan, it’s all the same to me.

First, the bad joke:

What’s the oldest dirty joke in the world?

A caveman fell in the mud.

———-

A Wiccan dies and finds herself standing before St. Peter and the Pearly Gates. Peter smiles and says, “Welcome to Heaven, sister.” Confused, the Wiccan asks, “Um, why am I here? I expected the Summerlands, not Heaven.”

Peter smiles kindly and says “Ahh, you must be a Wiccan. Please, follow me.” Peter escorts the Wiccan through the gates, after a brief walk through some trees, show her to her the Summerlands where she will spend eternity surrounded by unspoiled nature. The Wiccan is clearly relieved, but is surprised to hear crying. Turning to investigate the noise, she sees people pointing at her and the other Wiccans in the Summerlands and then collapsing into tears while raking their bodies bloody with their own fingernails. “Who are they,” she asks.

“Oh, them? They’re fundamentalist Christians,” replies Peter.

“Why are they crying and injuring themselves?”

Peter responds “Because they’re in Hell – God doesn’t like being told what he thinks.”