Garrrrry Cook - The Gift That Keeps On Giving

September 5, 2011

Garry Cook, Manchester City’s CEO, and the gift that keeps on giving as far as United fans are concerned, has been all over the papers today.

City have today confirmed that they are investigating a matter involving an e-mail Cook sent to Nedum Onuoha’s cancer-suffering mother, mocking her illness. In true classic Cook comic style, he claimed his e-mail account had been hacked.

This isn’t the first time Cook has shown the blues up though. Let’s reminisce…

7. Upon Samir Nasri’s arrival, Cook clasped the former Arsenal man’s hand in his and greeted him. “How are ya, brother?”

6. City were in talks with AC Milan to sign Kaka a few years back and blues ran out getting the Brazilian’s name tattooed to themselves. Talks collapsed and the player later joined Real Madrid.

“If you want my personal opinion they bottled it,” he said. “He clearly was for sale but we never got to meet with the player, the behaviour of AC Milan got in the way. His dad said he was very interested in the project. We talked a lot about a humanitarian approach and also environmental issues and the statements his son would like to make around the world.”

Kaka had a different explanation for why the deal collapsed, pointing to City’s lack of professionalism.

“Not even for 30 seconds did I think about going to Manchester City,” he said. “There was a total confusion. Not one of them had a clear idea of what was going on. I have taken a weight off my mind.”

Kaka’s agent, Diogo Kotscho added further light to the situation. “We can see that he (Cook) knows very little about how a football player’s head works.”

Reports in Italy at the time, from Gazzetta, again pointed to Cook’s naivety.

“The truth is that in six hours of talks with Manchester City they only asked questions and didn’t make an offer for Kaka. How on earth did they think they were going to buy him? It’s one thing buying a property or a company but completely another when you are trying to charm one of the best players in the world.”

5. Richard Dunne, who spent nine years at City, and was voted Player of the Year, received a dressing down from Cook in the press just weeks later.

“China and India are gagging for football content to watch and we’re going to tell them that City is their content. We need a superstar to get through that door. Richard Dunne doesn’t roll off the tongue in Beijing.”

4. At the 60th anniversary dinner for the Official Supporters’ club, Cook invited Uwe Rosler on stage and said: “I’d like to welcome Uwe Rosler into the Manchester United Hall of Fame.”

3. Former Manchester City owner, Thaksin Shinawatra, was described as a “human rights abuser of the worst possible kind” by Human Rights Watch. What did Garry think of him?

“Is he a nice guy? Yes. Is he a great guy to play golf with? Yes. Has he got the finances to run a club? Yes. Whether he’s guilty of something over there, I can’t worry too much about. Morally, I feel comfortable in this environment.”

2. After beating United 2-1 in the first leg of the League Cup semi-final in 2009, Garry Cook took the microphone in a small pub, claiming that City would be on their way to Wembley, having beaten United at Old Trafford. United won 3-1, went to Wembley, and lifted the trophy.

1. “Comedy has always been at the heart of what this club is all about.”

- So the cheating,lying,dirty,spitting,ladyboy slapping,shirt grabbing,referee befriending, Cunt believes his is a good role model and sets a good example for a young,asbo,horse looking drunk like Andy Caroll.

Really looking forward to Cock exposing the "hacker".
At some point he will probably claim:
1) It was the NOW.
2) United fans.
3) David Gill ( as suggested by Bumstein )
4) Islamic fundamentalists. ( who are trying to undermine the UAE / Sheikhs no doubt )
5) Lulz Sec / Anon
Can't wait to see who gets the blame!
Any odds on Ladbrokes?