Everything cannabis, pot, or weed in Seattle.

Imagine iconic cult actor Christopher Walken reading aloud the classic book by Maurice Sedak, ‘Where the Wild Things Are.’ Now imagine no longer, because he does just that on a video that has surfaced on YouTube and the rest of the internet.

Not only does Walken read the entire book, but he also describes the pictures in a way that only he can. If you want, you can lie your head on a pillow and just listen. Yes we know, Christopher Walken reading you a bedtime story is kind of creepy – but it’s kind of cool at the same time.

My beloved sons and daughters, this is your Creator. As you know, normally I reach you through a prayer or a miracle, but since I haven’t written a letter in so long, I thought I would reach you in this manner.

This isn’t about passing judgement on others and what they choose to do, even though I probably should remind you, that is my job. But it’s more than that. It’s about looking at this situation in a whole new light. No pun intended, even though you know, I’m all about the light.

In short, YOU’RE DOING IT ALL WRONG.

Instead of condemning the pot shop, you should see this as an opportunity! I know you don’t support marijuana and anyone who chooses to consume, even though it’s a plant of the earth and I created it. But while you’re wasting your time and energy trying to shut down the pot shop, you’re missing out on a huge opportunity to speak to the souls who enter the store, and spread the gospel. My son’s gospel! And without the pot shop, the souls you desperately want to save will disappear.

Think about this: you are a church next to a pot shop. How frickin’ cool is that? You are now relevant. Use it to your advantage. Not only should you befriend the employees next door, especially when they offer you coffee and donuts, but you should take out an ad in the local newspaper that states: ‘We are the church next to the pot shop.‘ You may be surprised how many people walk through your doors next Sunday morning.

I must go now, as there are more pressing matters I must tend to.

Your loving Creator,

God

Disclaimer: This isn’t really a letter we obtained from God. This is actually made up letter of what we imagine God would write.

Halloween is one of those holidays that you’re not quite sure if you should still be celebrating it since you’re no longer a kid which can freely go door to door and ask for free candy. Stoners, however, have no shame when it comes to free candy and watching grown adults dress up in weird costumes and act like maniacs throughout the day. It’s a holiday where the abnormal and odd are celebrated, instead of scoffed at, and we stoners feel at home in that environment. Halloween is on a Friday this year which means the festivities will start during the week and carry over into the weekend. I have a couple Halloween-themed festivities fit for different high adventures and moods. Enjoy the HAS Halloween Guide for 2014!

Freaky Flicks

If Halloween to you is all about the supernatural, spine-tingling horror stories and classic monster movies, Seattle’s favorite theaters have you covered. The SIFF theaters are showing The Ghostbusters movie, Alien and Aliens double feature and the midnight Rocky Horror Picture Show is back at the Egyptian. The EMP is having a Stephen King-themed Bingo before a screening of The Shining to end their 31 Days of Horror. Central Cinema will be showing Poltergeist, They Live and our childhood favorite, Monster Squad. Get high. Bring a friend and giggle, gasp and relive your favorite quotes: “REDRUM”, “Wolfman’s got nards!” and so many more.

Spooky Spirits

I never liked the cornfield mazes where actors would come at you with chainsaws and I would run off screaming through their labyrinth of unpleasant surprises. If you enjoy Halloween for the adrenaline-pumping terrors, I suggest visiting somewhere haunted or creepy. Seattle boasts a pretty impressive Ghost Tour which takes you into the old underground of Seattle. Who knows what stories are buried underneath? Even Pike’s Market has a ghost tour. Or how about visiting Haunted House Party at the Georgetown Morgue, where there were actual dead bodies. Don’t be surprised if you give a yelp like Shaggy and Scooby when you turn a corner to meet a unexpected ghost. Your extra sensitivity to sound and lights while high may heighten the experience.

Monster Mashing

If you want your Halloween to look like a surreal fantasy wonderland full of themed shots, flashing lights, club remixes of monster movie themes and ironic ‘sexy versions’ of your favorite and forgotten characters, I guarantee that your favorite club will be hosting. Enjoy the colors, sugar and bass while high as a kite and don’t forget to wear a silly costume too. The favorites I’ve seen so far include the Steam Funk Halloween Ball at the Nectar Lounge, ‘Marvel Pals & Disney Gals’ Halloween at Fado Irish Pub and Time Warp! A Halloween Time Traveler’s Party at ReBar. Be sure to take pictures of the craziest and funniest costumes of the night so you can remember that one time you saw that girl dressed as Ruth Bader Ginsburg with a doily in her collar swinging around a gavel and whiskey sour.

Couchlocked Celebrations

Some of you may not be in the spirit of trick or treating and partying with friends while dressed as Sith Lord and would rather catch some B movie horror on the couch with sweets covered in orange icing. For those that want to take their horde of sweets home, have you seen the different pumpkin cupcakes Cupcake Royale has? Or have you splurged and built your own frozen yogurt monstrosity with three fall flavors, cereal, whipped cream and sprinkles toppings yet? There are more pumpkin spiced microbrew varieties at your local QFC than there are Mounds bars in that fun size bag. From the Elysian Field’s Night Owl to the Southern Tier PumpKing dessert beer (that make delicious beer floats by the way) Seattle has way more to offer in the pumpkin-spiced edibles department than just a mere latte from Starbucks. There are plenty of local treats worth indulging in this Halloween.

If those recommendations aren’t enough visit The Stanger’s write up on every dance party, masquerade, monster mash karaoke and relate Halloween events going on this week! We hope you enjoy your high Halloween festivities and may they be full of munchies free of candy corn!

As you have found out by now, smoking marijuana can sometimes leave you feeling a little hungry. Sometimes that hunger is a ravenous beast that can only be sated by Captain Crunch and tacos. Luckily Seattle has a variety of food to satisfy every random craving. Here are five of my favorite muchies that I recommend you try when that beast hits you:

Seattle Cream Cheese Dog at Monster Dogs in the Heart of Capitol Hill

My days of selling t shirts out of a tent at Seattle’s stadiums always flood back to me when I bite into a cream cheese-oozing brat covered with caramelized onions. It’s a cheap, greasy meat staple that pretty much all stoners agree is delicious. This munchie is mobile meaning you could take it home with you or you can choose to not hide your shame and indulge in it right at the curb of 10th Avenue and E Pike.

Chocolate Popcorn at Cinerama

We sure hope Cinerama opens soon this fall as promised because my movie experience is never complete without a bag of their chocolate popcorn. The whole theatre smells like a river of chocolate gurgling behind the concessions counter. Walking into Cinerama and smell-o-vision seems real: I’m Augustus Gloop standing at the edge of Willy Wonka’s chocolate river and I can almost touch it. Also, if your taste buds crave both salty and sweet snacks, grab the mixed bag which is half chocolate and half buttered popcorn and 100% satisfying to those munchies.

Mac n Cheese Pizza at Zayda Buddy’s

Zayda Buddy’s in Ballard is known to many for their Midwest cuisine which focuses on hearty dishes with ingredients from the breadbasket regions of America. In short, don’t go here if you worried about counting carbs. The mac n cheese pizza combines my two favorite cheese dinners into one monstrosity of a meal. If that’s not your style there’s also the option of Wisconsin cheese curds, chili fries and plenty of more sloppy, warm meats to snack on. You’ll want to bring your friends on this adventure!

Seasonal Ice Cream at Molly Moon’s

There is nothing wrong with visiting an ice cream shop in the fall and winter months when it’s colder outside. Sometimes you have that craving for a cold, sweet treat served in freshly-folded waffle cone and nothing else with suffice. Luckily Molly Moon’s has an impressive list of sorbets, chocolate varieties and the mysterious seasonals. Seasonals have ranged from raspberry stout sorbet and Thai iced tea to ginger and sweet corn flavors. I prefer to choose from the seasonals because A) I probably won’t see that flavor again and B) to surprise my mouth with a new and unexpected flavor which is something I probably wouldn’t have picked with the judgement of a sober mind.

Anything at Fort St. George’s

There is a hidden treasure at 6th and King Street in the International District that all stoners should regularly flock to. Nothing is very traditional at Fort St. George: there are plants growing out of Jagermeister buckets; the food is known as ‘Japanese eats with an American twist’ and the music is a mixture of obscure Sublime b-sides. This casual environment sets my paranoid mind at ease and unlike fancier restaurants in Seattle I don’t worry about whether the server thinks I’m high or not. Choices are spaghetti variations, hearty beef curry with customizable toppings, fried chicken and cream sodas with ice cream with a cherry on top and many more choices. This place is heaven when you have the munchies.

Seattle is a wonderland for those with muchie cravings and offers much more than just twinkies and Doritos. What is your favorite go-to muchie spot or dish in Seattle? Please share with us in the comments!

Seattle has many unique attractions that double as great places to visit while stoned for their surreal features and inspirational content. As an artist I love visiting museums, concerts and shows which feature vibrant colors, shapes and sounds that inspire and entertain me. Being high lets me feel even more wonder and amazement at these places and also allows me to relax in popular destinations where I would normally be very agitated. Below are just 5 of many places in Seattle that I enjoy going to while high and have led to many fun and inspirational experiences that I hope you can experience in the future.

Enter worlds of aliens, magic and even The Exorcist. The Sci Fi Museum is like a play pen for nerds. Multiple floors are filled with interactive displays, trailers and costumes and props worn in genre-defining cinema. You will gawk at treats like the Jareth costume worn by the great David Bowie in Labyrinth or Captain Kirk’s chair on the Enterprise covered in Tribbles or sitting in the Iron Throne yourself as ruler of Westeros. If you ever wanted to spend 2 hours and really see everything at the Sci Fi Museum and EMP, I highly recommend smoking a bit of weed and indulging your inner nerd. At around $25 per ticket for access to SciFi and EMP, this visit is more of a special occasion, but the cost is definitely worth it.

The late night laser shows were my favorite, cheap entertainment in college that also introduced me to some classic albums and music in a new and exciting way. Bring a couple pillows, a friend and make sure to smoke some bud or eat a cannabis cookie before you go. Evening shows are an hour long and will feature an array of laser art set to music across the ceiling and walls in the laser dome keeping your mind entranced. There are many varieties of laser and music pairings including Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” to more modern music like Daft Punk and dubstep. I recommend picking a show with an artist (Zeppelin or Michael Jackson anyone?) you like or make sure to catch the limited or special showings coming up like the Gorillaz or their Halloween special.

No matter what time of year, you can always rely on a variety of indie films showing at the Grand Illusion in the University District for less than $10. This is a great theater to see works by surrealist directors, post-apocalyptic anime, and engaging documentaries that you know you love watching stoned. The padded chairs are comfortable and there are always munchies available to purchase a the counter. I personally recommend buying tickets about 20-30 minutes early before seeing your Italian horror triple feature or latest Terry Gilliam film.

For those wanting a bit more of an adrenalin rush, I recommend taking a tour of some spooky parts of Seattle’s early history. Visit the remnants of the underground and old buildings with unnerving stories guided by a real paranormal investigator. There are plenty of dark rooms, dank staircases and sepia photographs to set the mood and if that weed-induced paranoia sets in a bit, you’ll feel just as anxious as the international tourists you’re sharing the tour-space with. Halloween is coming up so this is a great time to give this event a try with a group of friends or just yourself if you’re that brave!

If you ever wanted to know what Whoville would look like outside of the Dr. Seuss book-this is the museum for you. Walking through the indoor and outdoor forest installations feel so surreal. World-renowned glass-blowing artist Dale Chihuly brings to life colorful and organic sculptures and marries them with nature to provide a very magical and surreal tour of glass sea shells, trees and unidentifiable creations. Seattle could definitely use more wonderlands like this around town. If they build the edible Willy Wonka forest, I know I would be the first in line.

The next time you need a burst of creativity or want to spend a day indulging in the amazing art and culture Seattle has to offer, visit one of these places and let us know it goes! Do you have a favorite trippy place to visit while you’re high? Let us know in the comments!