When I think of Topic I always think of the line “a hazelnut in every bite.” Admittedly, my mind then connects to the playground joke that followed this advertising line, Q: “What has a hazelnut in every bite?” A: “Squirrel poo.” Strangely this never put me off Topics as a kid, and doesn’t now, although I think maybe it should.

With the promise of a hazelnut actually being in every bite I put it to the test when I daintily devoured my Topic. First bite: no hazelnut. Second bite: hmm maybe there was tiny piece in that one. Third Fourth and Fifth: definitely tiny pieces in these bites. Rather disappointing that I hadn’t so far actually munched on a whole hazelnut but to be fair, by now the hazelnut flavour was so clearly present, and, mixed with the tastes of milk chocolate, soft nougat and smooth caramel this was now a bar to savour. What a shame there was only one bite-ful remaining. The last bite: at last, at least 2 decent sized hazelnut pieces!

This made me think of the other advert from many years ago that ended with the lines “Topic! A hazelnut in every bite ! I remembered !!!” “Yes. Funny how you always remember right at the end”. Well, Mister Topic maker (Masterfoods), we only remember right at the end because that’s the only bit where there is a significant hazelnut content. Now, if I had had started eating this bar from the other end, I’d have remembered nothing and would have been in a real state of confusion. Wait, I’m like that anyway.

I’ve just discovered on Wikipediea that in 2002 there were a series of advertisements for Topic with the strap-line “A joy to eat, but a bitch to make”. I wish I’d heard these adverts. Worryingly I’m not aware of any advertising campaign since.

Is Topic ‘doing quite well on its own thank you’ or is it being ignored until it sulks away completely?
I’d hate to see the end of the Topic, but I’d like to see a bigger version. It’s just too tiny.

After the hype that surrounded Nightcall, featured in the incredibly (and justifiably) popular film Drive, Kavinsky’s follow up was always going to be a tough task. But the French boy done good. And with a car-themed LP out in Feb as well, Outrun. Exciting times.