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"A Cock, It's Me" Revisited

No more prefaces!

The poem is good though I'd change all those adverbs to adjectives, but you should keep the intro to a minimum. In fact, you don't need an intro lol, just put a line after the poem saying it's revised. :-)

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Beautifully, Simplisticly Raw

I read both versions of your poem, and i have to say, I loved them both. Being that I am not offended by the word "bitch", as I'm sure you know,(you comented to my use of the word cock in one of my poems) I think I liked the orriginal just the way it was.

beautiful

infinitely more erotic

than most here despite using cock and cunt; they lend a richness to this piece already textured with sensuality and prove, once again, that it's not the word itself but the way a word is used that makes the impact.

by
03/03/17

Interesting contrast...

I read both versions of this poem, and while use of the word "bitch" in the first version didn't put me off, I did find it a little jarring until I came to the conclusion that you were likely (and I'm being presumptuous here in trying to interpret your meaning) attempting to convey the animalistic element of the sex act itself. The poem's emphasis is on body parts--cock and cunt--but also in the transcendence of those parts into a spiritual connection one has with a partner. I love the rhythm of this poem as well. Dare I say it follows the same rhythm of languid lovemaking itself?