"It's Time for a Change"

At 53, Jamie Lee Curtis has a very well-defined look — from her signature cropped hair to her monochromatic style ("I wear navy, black, or white. All one color, period") — and a very well-defined persona. She's known for a no-nonsense outlook that's led her to pose for a magazine without makeup and admit to her regrets about having tried Botox and liposuction.

But now Curtis is ready to step outside her comfort zone. Sure, everything in her life has been humming along: Her career is booming, and she just celebrated her 28th wedding anniversary with her husband (actor Christopher Guest), with whom she's raised two kids (Annie, 25, and Tom, 16), but she's reached a point where she needs to shake things up. For instance, "I've had my hair like this for probably 10 years now, and I'm feeling like it may be time for a change," she says.

That's in the spirit of her latest children's book (her 10th), My Brave Year of Firsts: Tries, Sighs, and High Fives. In it, Curtis zeros in on the joy of children experiencing things for the very first time. "As I focused on how we encourage kids to take risks, I realized that as adults, we don't do anything new," she says.

"We eat the same food. Sleep with our husbands the same way. We don't try new things, yet we want our children to do that every day of their lives. Trying something new and challenging yourself is what life is all about," says Curtis.

So she's now practicing what she preaches; she's made it her mission to try a series of new life adventures: joining a book club (it's not your typical gabfest with wine), learning to make dolls, and cooking her way through a recipe-book series.

And for this story, she tackled one of her biggest fears: running a race. "I know that seems crazy for many people, but a 5K was a big deal for me," confesses Curtis. Sure, she's a regular on the tennis court and an avid golfer, but "when they used to make me run in high school PE class, I was dead last," she recalls. "I was top-heavy, so my chest hurt. None of it's natural for me."

Curtis invited Good Housekeeping to track her training, to watch the big race — and to chat with her about the thrill of trying something new...even something she knew she might not have a knack for.

GOOD HOUSEKEEPING: Your latest children's book is all about firsts. How did this concept come about?

JAMIE LEE CURTIS: Nothing I ever do starts with an intention. It usually starts with my hearing something, and it's like a key unlocks my brain. I was in a coffee shop in Sun Valley, Idaho, talking to this lovely guy, Todd, who owns it. I asked how his daughter was doing, and he said, "She's having this amazing summer of firsts."

And I did that thing where it truly felt like I'd been struck by lightning: "Really? Tell me more!" I came home thinking about firsts — about being brave, about having fear, and about trying new things. When kids try something for the first time, what are they afraid of? Getting hurt, looking bad, being embarrassed, people making fun of them.

GH: Why do you think that it's important for adults to continue to try new things?

JLC: Life is not supposed to be this calcified experience where you don't change. I'm a middle-aged woman who is changing. Your hair, body, and mind change. And we fight the change. How many women spend all of this money trying not to change? We don't welcome it or encourage it in ourselves or in our friends, yet we do in our children — which basically makes us contradictory and flawed as people. Do as I say, not as I do.

GH: Are you good at getting outside your comfort zone?

JLC: No. I'm 53 and starting to pare down to the essentials. It's harder and harder for me to try new things.

But I think it's important to show your kids you don't know everything, and the best way to demonstrate that is to do something where you fall down.

GH: To prove your point, you ran a 5K for this story. You had never run before?

JLC: No! My husband once said he'd never met anybody who walked so fast and ran so slowly. As I said, it's a little hard for me to try new things, and this was me facing a fear that I'd had my whole life. Since I had no experience running, I felt like a failure before I'd even begun.

What looks effortless for most people isn't natural for me. This was a big deal physically.

GH:Tell us how you trained for the race.

JLC: There's an app on my iPhone called C25K (Couch to 5K) that I utilized. It helped me understand how to gradually increase my running time from one minute to 45 minutes. I would get on a treadmill and run or walk/run while watching Millionaire Matchmaker reruns. Thank God for Bravo!

GH: How was it when you actually ran the race?

JLC: I tried to make it look like I was having a good time, but to be honest, five minutes after the start of the race, I was already going, Oh, there's no way I'm going to finish this.

GH:What got you through to the race's end?

JLC: I talked to myself. [I thought,] Jamie, you can do this; just relax. I tried to find a rhythm, and I stopped comparing myself to anybody else. One of the great phrases for me is "Compare and despair." If I compare myself to Kate Middleton or Dame Judi Dench, I'm going to come out at the bottom and be sad.

During the 5K, I found myself looking around at all these people, young kids racing past me, and I realized that I needed to stay within myself, that it was OK to go slowly — and then I slogged along.

GH:But you actually finished pretty well.

JLC: I did, but that's the problem — I understand "Compare and despair," but I'm competitive. After the race, a friend of mine said, "If you had just picked up your pace, you would have been in the top 10 of your age group." And then, all of a sudden, my head started going, Should I do it again?

GH:So, will you do it again?

JLC: No, I don't think so. I enjoyed doing it, but it took a lot of time out of my world. It was a commitment of time every day: warm up, run for half an hour, then cool down. It's a good hour in a day where I have a lot of other stuff to do; I gave up some reading, and I like to read every day.

I did it to show myself I could do it. Do I want to run a marathon? No. I've got an aging lower back and aging knees and ankles. I would rather go play golf with my husband.

GH:Did your family support you through your training and cheer for you on the day of the race?

JLC: My husband was really sweet about the whole thing. He gave me earbuds for my phone [to listen to music]; it was his way of saying, "I want you to have something that's comfortable," because I kept using ones that hurt my ears. He was really lovely and insisted on coming to the race.

He was standing there when I crossed the finish line. I was proud of myself that I stuck with it and persevered.

GH:Is there anything at which you've ever failed?

JLC:: Failure sounds like there's an end to it. I struggled with addiction, and for a long time I felt like I was failing. I feel like a failure as a mother a lot, because despite my best efforts, I have replicated parts of how I was parented [that I didn't want to]. Even though I vowed not to and felt like I was doing it so differently, in many ways I repeated some of the same problems.

My mother looked good on the outside as a mother. She showed up to stuff and seemed to be paying attention. I think I fell prey to that in my early parenting. I looked like I was a parent, but I didn't have the follow-through that a parent needs to have. I think I used my work as a way to be there, then be gone. That level of inconsistency was something I became aware of through the behavior of my children.

GH: How about ways you're different from your mom as a parent?

JLC: Every time I take a nap, [I think,] I don't know that I ever saw my mother sit down, let alone take a nap or read a book. I have the ability to stop and smell the roses, for lack of a better phrase.

My mother was a doer, and my stepfather was a doer. Lying around and reading a book was considered lazy. But I hope I've proven [to my kids] that I'm a hard worker, yet I am able to appreciate the great joys of reading, gardening, and just being with my people without a big agenda attached to it.

GH: Is it hard sometimes to get into that relaxed way of being and not focus on "doing"?

JLC: Now I'm trying to do and help where I can and stay out of what's not my business; to let other people have their experiences without trying to control and "Jamie" the experience. Because I can get in there and "Jamie" it pretty dang well.

GH: What does it mean to "Jamie" a situation?

JLC: I stopped going into people's places and reorganizing their lives. I've stopped offering people advice unless they've asked me for it. I used to go, "OK, you know what you need to do?" The joke was that my tombstone was going to say, "She knew everything." But I don't do that anymore.

GH: So not "Jamie"-ing a situation is a first for you. Let's hear about another first, your book club.

JLC: Someone told me about a book club that meets once a month, and a professor attends and lectures in a fairly casual way about the book they've read. Then there's a 20-minute opportunity for people to ask questions.

It's exactly what I wanted. It's the closest thing to going back to college that I'm going to get. We did a series called "How the West Was Written," which included books by Wallace Stegner and John Steinbeck. It was an intellectual pursuit I felt was missing amid my carpooling, needlepointing, and listening to the radio. I've made a couple of friends. I could immediately label everyone [in the club]: There's the brainiac; she's the class president; there's the treasurer who takes notes all the time — and, of course, I was the class clown.

GH: Do you have a favorite book from the series?

JLC:Angle of Repose by Wallace Stegner. It's the story of a marriage; it's a masterpiece. It just catches you and speaks to you.

GH: Another first you've talked about wanting to do is cook your way through the Canal House Cooking cookbook series.

JLC: I have fallen in love with those books. They were a gift from a friend, and, unlike a lot of other cookbooks, I can open these up and go, I can make that. The visuals in the books match the visuals of the food you actually prepare. It's the type of food that suits the way I eat and entertain, which is very casual. I feel like I'm a success when I work with those books, and I am not a great cook!

GH: You say you're not a great cook, yet you whipped up a very yummy lemon cake last time Good Housekeeping came to your home.

JLC: I've been married for 28 years, and my wedding shower was a recipe shower. So I cook, but I'm not a natural cook. If I were left to my own devices, I would have a bowl of Frosted Flakes. If I were home alone, I would not sauté anything. The words "poach," "grill," and "roast" would not enter my vocabulary — there would be some pouring and cereal-eating.

GH: Something else you're trying for the first time is sewing. You're making yo-yo dolls?

JLC: I'm in the process of making my third. I remember growing up with this little yo-yo doll. I saw one and thought, I had a doll like that. Somebody said, "I make those all the time," and I thought, I can make one. So I made one for a friend's daughter, and then she called me Auntie Yo-Yo. That's how it all began. I'm not a particularly crafty person, but it's not that hard. I can't wait for my daughter to have children, because I will make the whole yo-yo doll family.

GH: Speaking of family, you said your husband is very quiet while you're very dynamic. Why do you two work so well together?

JLC: My husband and I are very different. Our company is called Syzygy Industries, which can mean a pair of opposites. And that's exactly what we are. Yet there is obviously a very strong pull toward each other.

At this point, we accept who we each are, and there is a lot of respect for the other person. And there's nobody funnier in the world than my husband. But he's a very quiet guy with a lot of integrity.

He doesn't like it when I talk about him, and I don't blame him. It's a marriage — the only one I have, and the only one I ever will have.

GH: After 28 years, how do you two keep the spark alive?

JLC: That's none of your business!

GH: Fair enough. What's a date night for the two of you?

JLC: He has a lot of old movies I've never seen, so we'll watch one of those. We'll go play golf if we have time. Finding shared interests has always been a challenge for us, for 28 years. Children take up a big part of that space. Just like everyone else, we both read, exercise, and walk our dogs.

GH: What about girlfriends? How do you stay connected to them?

JLC: We have lunch. I play tennis with two girlfriends, and we call it Yak Smack. We talk, hit the ball, and then talk some more. I have a regular tennis friend — it's just wonderful.

I have close friends I've worked with at my son's school; we have the connection of our children's being good friends, and we've become good friends, too.

GH: Why do you think it's important to keep your connections to girlfriends strong?

JLC: Without my women friends, I wouldn't know anything. They've been my teachers and my mothers. My mother was a wonderful person, but she didn't give me a lot of the stuff I needed to advance myself as an adult woman. I have a really strong group of girlfriends, and we share a lot with one another — the complications of raising children, marriages, personal and physical struggles.

GH: And what about your sister?

JLC: I have a couple of sisters who are from different marriages in my family, though we didn't grow up with one another. I'm very close to my sister Kelly. She showed up for my children in a way that nobody in my family had ever shown up for anybody before. It was so amazing, and our relationship has gotten so incredibly deep. She is truly my best friend. We just went on a 10-day trip together; we laughed from the moment we got on the plane until the moment we landed. That kind of ease is only found with a sister.

To say that my daughter and my sister are my best friends makes me cry. But that doesn't mean our relationship isn't a process. My daughter is becoming an independent woman, so naturally you have to separate a little. What's that adage about having children? "It's the only time in your life when the goal of the relationship is separation"? The two people I talk to every day are my daughter and my sister. They are both people I've had conflict with, and they're both people I know I can count on.

GH: At what age did you start to feel comfortable in your own skin?

JLC: It's an evolution. I just reach a point where I'm feeling comfortable in my skin, and then my skin starts moving — all of a sudden, it's going places it isn't meant to go. I'm getting older; I'm a human being.

GH: Speaking of times changing, is it true you took down all of your awards as well as memorabilia from your movies?

JLC: Yes, they're trashed. I felt like it was holding on to an old idea, something that I had virtually nothing to do with except to show up and pretend to be someone else in a movie I once made. How are my children supposed to grow up in a house where all they see is evidence of their parents' fame?

The trophies we should have up are for my kid's soccer team, or a dance award. It's very hard, when you're a famous person, to "de-famous" your home, but tokens of my fame just felt like a burden for my children. And for me. I don't need to hold on to an idea about a movie I made 20 years ago.

GH: Considering that you threw all of that out — and the idea of firsts — what is the bravest thing you've ever done?

JLC: Getting sober [13 years ago] was the single bravest thing I've ever done and will ever do in my life. Not [running] a 5K — facing an addiction. Being courageous enough to acknowledge it privately with my family and friends. Working really hard at solidifying it, getting support around it, and being healthy. And then talking about it publicly. That is the single greatest accomplishment of my life.

I am not a runner. In fact, until recently, I had never run a mile — I played tennis, golfed, skied, and swam, yet I had no endurance. So when I decided to try a new thing and also face a fear of mine, I realized that running epitomized both. I chose to train for and run a 5K to see if I could break down this lifelong fear and face it head(wind)-on. I signed up online for the Santa Monica Classic 5K/10K Run, which benefits Heal the Bay. I used an iPhone app called C25K (Couch to 5K) to train. All I can say is, if I can do this, you can, too!

4/17: First day. Sunny. Breezy. Found a $20 bill. Good omen? Entry fee for the race?

4/20: A tad harder today. Early run inside on treadmill. Felt really long.

5/2: 7 A.M. Strong 25 minutes. Starting to feel good.

5/3: Late in the day. Feel leaden. If this were race day, I wouldn't finish.

5/4: Outside along bluffs. Ran with a friend. She runs like a whippet; I run like a hound dog.

5/6: I am now Gear Girl: armband holder for phone/music; waist pack. Ran strongly for 44 minutes. Felt like I might be able to actually do this.

5/15: Bummed. Up at 2:45 A.M. L.A. time, and four-hour flight to Denver. Lovely hotel gym, but sadly lack of food and sleep, plus the altitude, resulted in my first quit mid-run. I'm dizzy. Listened to my body.

5/19: 5K in 24 hours.

This is now very real. A little scared, but open to it all. A good sign: Went to pick up Panda Express for my son, and they gave me a fortune cookie. I usually decline them but accepted it today. My fortune — wait for it — "A new challenge is near." I am taping it to my bib number.

Gorgeous morning, sunny but cool...couldn't ask for nicer. Such great energy at the start. Started slowly, but not as slowly as I should have, as I got winded pretty quickly and for a second got worried that I wouldn't be able to do it all. Calmed myself down. Music helped. Second mile pretty strong — then, after the turn for home, actually picked up my pace.

Woo-hoo! I finished! So glad. My sweet husband rode his bike there to be with me. Worth it all, his embrace. Hugs all around. Am I a runner? Wow. Miracles happen.

Shawna Ankenbrandt

WireImage

Your first kiss?

Douglas Ward, in sixth grade. We were jumping off the wall at Betty Wyman's house, and we were kissing midair. The fact that we didn't break our teeth is a miracle.

July 2, 1984. Chianti restaurant. We have the receipt framed in his office.

The first time you held your daughter?

The day of her birth. That's a very personal time in every life, but in adoption it's also a very sad day. I was aware of the largeness of the moment.

And the first time you held your son?

He's also adopted; I caught him [as he was born].

The first time you felt old?

I actually wrote a poem called "I Felt My Body Go Today." I swear I was in my 20s. I don't remember what the specific complaint was.

The first time you cut your hair short?

I had to [in the early '80s]. I was in a movie where I had to have a perm and then in another one where I had to have my hair dyed platinum blond. When I finished, I tried to dye my hair back, and it was literally burned off my head. So José Eber cut off my hair.

The first thing you splurged on when you made money?

One of those automatic massage tables with rollers that you lie on. I think I got it from Brookstone.

Your first movie?

Halloween. I remember thinking, What are we meant to be doing now? I knew I had to do some bloodcurdling screaming and running.

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