2nd cycle ( public)
got to day before retrieval and cycle cancelled OOHS

3rd cycle (public)
same thing OOHS

4th cycle (private clinic)
went well had and embryo transferred on 25th june- my birthday, currently in the 2ww have BT on 6th july

Imo finding it so hard to deal with everyone keeps telling me oh you will be fine, don't worry, don't stress Imo so sick of people who haven't gone through this telling me that when they don't know what its like, thank god my husband is so supportive.

Just take each day as it comes. I know many girls go to the clinic counselling and while we never did I wish we had cos I really do think that the right counsellor could made a huge difference to how you cope.
As for getting easier - in short no. For me I just seemed to accept that it would fail each time and that was the hard part.
Hugs

I'm in the middle of my fourth cycle (medicated frozen cycle) and i don't think it gets easier, i think it gets harder. I think though, your expectations change and you learn to just take each thing as it comes.

All i can say is the same as bronwyn, just take one day at a time.

Vent on here, you'll find lots of support. Eat chocolate, take up a that hobby you have been meaning to. Its good to have an outlet to focus on because the IVF can really take over your life. Have you joined a cycle buddy group on here? That can help a lot. The women on here are a great group of supportive people.

Hi Harmony I'm also on my 4th cycle currently in the tww. I've found it so very hard, I've had a lot of anxiety. What gets me through is getting ready for the next cycle, a feeling of actually doing something to help the situation. I'm also constantly looking for positive outcomes like Bronwyn's 8th cycle BFP! That keeps me going.

^ yes estrogen priming cycle, added saizen and luveris. D&c month prior to stimming (which found blood flow issues to uterus which was overcome with Viagra pessaries and uterine infection overcome with antibiotics). Plus I spent the six months in the lead up doing a detox and cutting out sugar and most wheat products out of my diet and took up regular exercise which meant I lost 8 kgs.

Harmony, i have also just finished my 4th stimm cycle (which was cancelled before ET - weve only ever had ET twice) and i agree it diosent get easier as you are actively going through a cycle but I have found that it does become easier to pick up the pieces after each heartbreak.

I know that it may not feel like it right now but you will get through this crap time!

For the first 5 stims I kept looking forwards, either hoping for success or planning the next cycle.

We changed sperm for the 6th stim, and when the results were just as crappy I gave up hope and began grieving about going to be childless without choice. My crying started in the middle of ET when we learned we still hadn't made our first blastocyst and were having another day 5 morula transfer (so stressful I've just started crying again just thinking about it). I did 6 months of antidepressants to assist while I went through grieving, and for 7th stim also saw a great psychologist weekly. We were still doing IVF even without hope so that we would have no regrets when we finished, and would know that we'd tried everything we could. I felt that although doing IVF was now too hard, stopping before we'd reached the end was even harder.

We were allowed 3 tries with the new sperm, and multiple FS agreed that since results were just as bad with 2 different sperm donors then we should stop using my eggs after using up our 3rd try instead of going back to the bottom of the sperm waiting list. So on 8th (final) stim we transferred day 5 morulas again ... and both implanted!!
We'd been changing things for nearly every cycle, but I think both Luveris and assisted hatching were crucial for our success.

(On stim 7, we used assisted hatching and low-dose Pregnyl not Luveris and produced our only ever early blastocyst. I'd been on DHEA for about 4 of my stims. Was also doing prednisolone + clexane for about 4 of my stims - but not always the same ones as the DHEA.)

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