My body has become nothing but a cage, a source of pain and constant problems. The illness I have has caused me pain that not even the strongest medicines could dull, and there is no cure. All day, every day a screaming agony in every nerve ending in my body. It is nothing short of torture. My mind is a wasteland, filled with visions of incredible horror, unceasing depression, and crippling anxiety, even with all of the medications the doctors dare give. Simple things that everyone else takes for granted are nearly impossible for me. I can not laugh or cry. I can barely leave the house. I derive no pleasure from any activity. Everything simply comes down to passing time until I can sleep again. Now, to sleep forever seems to be the most merciful thing.

You must not blame yourself. The simple truth is this: During my first deployment, I was made to participate in things, the enormity of which is hard to describe. War crimes, crimes against humanity. Though I did not participate willingly, and made what I thought was my best effort to stop these events, there are some things that a person simply can not come back from. I take some pride in that, actually, as to move on in life after being part of such a thing would be the mark of a sociopath in my mind. These things go far beyond what most are even aware of.

To force me to do these things and then participate in the ensuing coverup is more than any government has the right to demand.

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63 Responses to A ‘Mercy Killing’: His Own

Its easy to judge atrocities from afar. Yes, its true atrocities are unacceptable, but that doesn’t mean people should not try to understand the reasons. There are reasons, but not excuses.

Military units must have discipline, a sense of duty and honor. Without these, a military unit will not be an effective fighting force. This is needed to overcome the natural human instinct to flee danger for self preservation. (fear)

When a soldier is in great danger for a prolonged period of time, they sometimes develop what’s known as the 1000 yard stare. Their eyes are vacant, their faces expressionless. My personal theory on that is that its a result of how the brain handles the conflict between the fear instinct to run, and the duty and honor instilled by training to stand and fight. The brain becomes numb. All emotion, not just fear is suppressed. The soldier can now even accept that he is going to die. I was told by friends who were ground troops in Vietnam that when soldiers were in this condition, they were more likely to commit atrocities. I did not see this, so this is just hearsay. I don’t know if its true or if any studies have been done on that. Maybe there is something to it. Just sayin. Full disclosure, i was a helicopter gunship pilot in Vietnam, but came back a libertarian anti-interventionist.

“The religious aspect of the invasons are quite real. I would only disagree with any suggestion that the President’s beliefs are lunacy. Hard to comprehend in the secular world”

It seems that politicians aren’t necessarily very deep thinkers, outside the mundanely technical aspects of acquiring and keeping power and wealth that is their specialty.

Also, although no doubt sincere, the President’s theology was untutored and shallow, inadequate for acting as a brake on the most damaging temptations of leadership.

It doesn’t help that this theology is Constantinian, more Christendom than Christ, more Crusade than Cross.

Moreover, the combination of sincerity and lack of being adequately grounded, opened the possibility of manipulation and exploitation by others who, although they by no means shared any religious sensibility, were quite willing to make use of it for their own ends.

Infamously, Rumsfeld would send Iraqi pictures and reports to the President each day, emblazoned with Old Testament Bible quotes, flattering both his religious beliefs and vanity, making him believe he was fulfilling end-times prophecy as long as he was fulfilling neocon policy.

Beware of religion that tells you that God’s will is what someone else already wanted you to do, especially when it confirms your own prejudices.

George W. Bush may or may not have been a fanatic, but he was by his own account clearly a heretic who confused his own earthly power (the command of the US Armed Forces) with the will of God (that all people should be free).

His heresy was extreme in form, if milquetoast in doctrine. Most on the American Right don’t hardly notice the problem of nationalist idolatry, or downplay it as harmless patriotism.

Amen, Hector. That comes ahead of what all we make of this. But I believe he left his testimony to be pondered.

Of course, if this isn’t all over Google and Bing, obviously it never happened.

There are religious lunatics who adhere to almost any body of religious belief. That Bush and Hillary are both Methodists means nothing, and incidentally, for purely localist reasons, the past ten years I’ve been a Methodist too. I was rather proud that on Sunday Sept 16, 2011, my pastor said from the pulpit “We are on cocky arrogant nation… Don’t you know there are people around the world who wake up every morning wondering if a bomb will fall on their living room? What makes our pain more important than theirs?” And five people in our congregation worked at the Pentagon, all of whom, thankfully, survived.

I don’t trust Hillary Clinton at all — I voted for Barack Obama in part to derail her candidacy, and there is no doubt she’s running, much as I regret that, because her friends in various states are already beating the drumrolls in a fashion too coordinated to attribute to coincidence. Where is our Obama of 2016 to send her home one more time? But I don’t think she will wrap herself in the mantle of Doing God’s Work. What I don’t trust is that she conflates the government with the village.

Re: wes “The chaplaincy is designed to be an integrated part of the armed forces for purposes of building and keeping morale and spiritual support.”

Exactly. The chaplaincy is “designed” by the State to serve the interests of the State, (not Christ’s) so is immoral by design.

The purpose of a (Christian) chaplain should be to lead men (and women) to an understanding of their Christian responsibilities, not be an enabler of secular slaughter motivated by the egos of Power Elites.

And isaacplautus “A ridiculously asinine simplification. Get to know some soldiers and learn about them before you dismiss them so moralistically.”

I am not dismissing soldiers moralistically. (Although I am holding them up as moral agents with Free Will.) I am dismissing the Power Elites as agents of the devil himself who has seduced them into engaging in immoral warfare.

Dr. Stephen Muse, a Greek Orthodox friend who works with the Pastoral Institute and author of When Hearts Become Flame, has said some very profound things about the spiritual state of the men and women who are put in harm’s way. I’ll paraphrase to the best of my ability: “We (as a nation) have done an awesome job of training our men and women in service to kill. What we have not done is teach them how to be forgiven for their actions. The result of this is that our soldiers are left with spiritual shrapnel in their hearts.”

So why is it that suicide is now the leading cause of death amongst the armed forces? I believe the answer is that there is spiritual shrapnel in their hearts, and we are not doing a good job of helping to remove that shrapnel.

“We (as a nation) have done an awesome job of training our men and women in service to kill. What we have not done is teach them how to be forgiven for their actions. The result of this is that our soldiers are left with spiritual shrapnel in their hearts.”

SteveM, you wrote this: “I am dismissing the Power Elites as agents of the devil himself who has seduced them into engaging in immoral warfare.”

Oooh! This sounds so scary! Next you’re going to tell me that every war is a pre-planned, scripted spectator event in which two countries or entities who are supposedly enemies come together voluntarily to fight like gladiators for the entertainment of the “devilish” “Power Elites” on both sides.

Re: George W. Bush may or may not have been a fanatic, but he was by his own account clearly a heretic who confused his own earthly power (the command of the US Armed Forces) with the will of God

In the larger sense, this is a heresy and temptation for everyone, from pauper to prince, to conflate what they want with God’s will. A small example: I took my 19 year old cat to the vet for euthanasia yesterday. It was not an easy decision since, while he was failing, he was not at last gasp. I prayed before the icons before I left, asking for Jesus to show me what was best, though even now it’s not clear that I chose for my own convenience, or what was truly the right thing to do at the right time.

It would be refreshing to have a president who thought as Lincoln did, that he was unsure if God was on his side, but he did hope to be on God’s side.

Building on JonF’s observation, perhaps we could offer this to the world as a fundamental paradigm:

There is not abomination more offensive to the Creator of the Universe than those who would arrogantly kill in His Name.

No need to point fingers. Whether one is Methodist, Muslim, Episcoplian, Buddhist, Hindu, or Roman Catholic, if the shoe fits, wear it. (Anybody notice the nominally Buddhist cultures indulging in ethnic cleansing these days?)