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Being Unspoken

11.12.13

Let’s cut to the chase here: we’re all a little guilty of oversharing nowadays, right?

While we’re not all sharing ultrasounds of our unborn child* to Facebook acquaintances or proclaiming loudly about what we’re up to that evening to a bus-load of people, I think oversharing has become a bit of a given. Odd.

There’s a certain beauty in the hustle and bustle of the modern, digitally-addled world of being unspoken. Quietly meandering with - or against - the flow of often narcissistic and materialistic behaviour is kinda underrated. I’ll put my hands up and admit that I sold my soul to the digital devil when I signed up for Twitter and the nail was put in the coffin once somebody in the Android world gave me access to Instagram. Hey *insert random no. of followers*, come and see what I’m eating/drinking/doing/seeing but with a careful cropped edit and a filter to make my life look real good.

This year I’ve begun to take a little more care with my given persona. You are what you share.

In my final year at University, as this blog began to expand and grow beyond my wildest expectations, I think I overheard a fellow WFC girl loudly state that “even complete Z-list bloggers will do XYZ”. Ouch. By the very nature of what I do - and what we all do! - there’s a pretty fundamental (emphasis on the fun here!) part of sharing a little of everything. Personality and diversity of lifestyle are what keeps blogs and personal websites such an innovative and valuable platform. While sharing a snippet of what I've somehow managed to do via the ol' blog is rewarding and fun, I’m finding it more and more considerate and life conscious to take a step back and imagine my shared life from my real life friends’ point of view.

It’s human nature to edit and cut the crap - essentially what I’m getting at here - from our lives for want of a prettier view.

In my eyes? I want my blog to be and become an inspiring place to relax and escape from the daily mundane, even if for just 10 minutes. You’ve probably got more than your fair share of terrible commutes, daily errands, dinner that is 2 minutes “too cooked” and [Insert your not-so-glam weekly Friday takeaway choice here]. Why not come here, online, to read about the beautiful unnecessary, the amazing opportunities that grow from a free hobby, devour meals via Instagram and get a glimpse into the style elite industry that is, let’s face it, still unreachable?

We all risk getting caught up in the moment, quietly and not to quietly wanting our blog babies to blossom into something well recognised and thought about, and with the continuing onslaught of "content" and "exposure", is it better to be seen and heard and all the time everytime?

Be graceful and eloquent. Share topical debates, a sly snap of that celebrity you saw at an event and a platter of, let's face it, oh so delectable macarons. Spread the word about your whimsy purchases, that new dress by Zara, those boot bargains from Topshop and exclusive discounts.

But be a little unspoken sometimes. It’s nice to be, have and find a breath of fresh air.

And now it's your turn: What are your thoughts and experiences regarding oversharing? Have you also been spoken to, or in my case overheard people, about your social media exposure? Lemme know!

* I don't mean to offend anyone with this statement! Just some lighthearted fun whilst I seriously consider what on Earth I'm doing with my life...

25 comments

I separated my Twitter accounts not long ago because my 'life' friends were getting annoyed with the constant beauty chatter and post updates and it's one of the better things I've done! In theory, it should double the amount of tweets I send but I actually find myself considering what I share a little more which is always a good thing I guess? Really interesting post to read :) xxwww.LaurasHaven.com

Ah I always consider doing that but I already run multiple Twitter accounts for my work clients and my magazine, so I quickly vetoed against it. I always feel as though I'm second guessing myself whenever I 'share' particular things online though, and my friends seem to prefer to be edited out. Thanks so much Laura, I enjoyed writing it! x

Here, here! On my blog I'm definitely guilty of editing and only sharing the nice bits, but my Twitter is pretty much a stream of consciousness and I end up sharing the most mundane, unglamorous things before I even finished thinking them, so in that sense I'm definitely guilty of over-sharing too! No one's ever said anything about my over-sharing, but sometimes when I stalk old friends on Facebook to find their profile almost empty, it does make them seem that little bit more interesting - too busy for social media, eh! Enjoyed this post :) xNatalie | Just a Thought

Thanks Natalie! I think I'm guilty of oversharing the nice things, I went through a phase where I'd post things re: the blog and events with the mindset of thinking, "oh hey, I'm meant to be generating more hype about this!" and then in hindsight thinking I probably came across as a bit of a show-off. Gosh, this digital immersion is a tough cookie, eh?!

I try and keep part of my real life away from my blog. If I do something exciting then I may post about it.Generally speaking, I will also try and keep friends & relatives out if my blog (unless I ask them prior).I do over share on social media particularly food I've eaten on instagram...

That's such a great and somewhat unique approach, Amey! I guess when I started blogging, there wasn't much reason for boundary as the community hadn't quite taken off yet. Oh lord, food and Instagram were just a match made in heaven ;) x

Great post, Michelle! Funnily enough, my younger sister often comments on how strange it is for me to share so much online. Although I do let some rants slip on twitter, for the most part I'm pretty selective about what I post. That being said, I also find that it can be so hard to stay present in the moment as a blogger! The pressure to pump out content and seem 'interesting' makes me see everything as a potential blog post or Instagram, and it can be hard to know whether you're doing something for the sake of sharing it or not. Just some food for thought :)

My sister does too - she's the one that shoots my outfit photos for me - and she's very conscious of what I end up sharing. She finds it weird that there's a whole community of us, but is also super understanding and intrigued by it all. I definitely feel the pressure too, but I've recently begun to take a new approach to 'creating content' for my blog, which takes away some of the 'I'm doing this so I must take photos for the blog!' thoughts. x

great post! I do think this is becoming a bit of a issue, and most people don't even realise they're doing it! I have my facebook to myself and only use my twitter to share my blog posts - I think my 'most shared' status would have to be on pinterest. I do have friends that simply go on a night out just so they can show everyone the pictures afterwards :( x

Thank you Lauren! Definitely, it's strange to unpick the topic actually. I mean for the LONGEST time, I assumed that selfies were just a beauty and fashion blogger thing and now even Obama's doing it?! :P I have friends who do the same too, to the extent that they book VIP areas just for the photos! x

I really get what you mean about this - blogging is such a public forum, that sometimes it's just nice to keep things for yourself. And I seriously cannot stand the ultra-sound thing, unless you strictly have family members on there the world and his dog does not need to see that.

It's funny because I've only just really got started, it's something that I've definitely worried about doing, hopefully I'm treading the line carefully, as I'm wanting to keep some things to myself.

Thanks so much Emma! I think it's especially odd to balance out as so many people began blogs simply to pour out their words and little oddments about their loves in life. But with the saturation of blogs, content and bloggers themselves, it's hard to differentiate yourself unless you do sprinkle in slices of your life. x

Thank you for writing this post. I feel a little like I'm in a constant battle between sharing a little and sharing a lot. I don't think of my space as particularly inspiring, there are lots of spaces (like yours for one!) that do that much better than I ever could, it's more a collection of thoughts but I don't always go into details.

I've had a few interesting discussions with people who wanted me to expand on the details of a particular occasion a few months back. I was deliberately a little vague, because I wanted to share that I felt a little lost/confused but I didn't really want to talk about *exactly* why because there are things that I need to keep close and not share in a public place. Some people knew/guessed (which is what I'd hoped would happen) because they'd been in a similar situation and it was so helpful for me to find those people and talk it over with them in a more private place.

I think there's such a fine line. There were a good 6 months where I was looking for blog post opportunities everywhere and I missed out on simply living my life in the process. Lifestyle day-in-the-life & home decor, house tour type posts are my most requested, I'm currently working on a compromise between documenting daily life and keeping certain things just for me and my family.

Firstly, thank you and you're welcome all at the same time Jennie! (: I'd like to think I'm very close to my blog readers so I do share a lot in some respects but more in a sense that I allude to personal aspects, and keep things chatty and duo-dynamic.

It's useful, as you've noted, to gain the thoughts and opinions from people online with some things, and the Internet is SO valuable for that now, especially with blogging holding itself in such a fantastically unique position. I mean, we can share our expertise, our opinions, our tastes and learn so much more in return. (: I've recently overhauled the way I consider planning for blog posts: nowadays I think of titles and overall ideas I want to talk about and let the content and photos fall out of everyday life, rather than going out 'in real life' and constantly think about the blog meaning my real life pals miss out on real-time me! x

Such a great post! I think so may bloggers have been put in a similar situation where they're expected to share everything, when some things are best left private. Just because I blog doesn't mean I'm going to share XYZ on Facebook or would feel comfortable with everyone knowing every single detail about my life.

Thanks Emma! I think to an extent it's just the way the digital media world has changed since I began blogging: with so many platforms, you just have to share something a little different to be on top of the game, and of course our unique lifestyles come into play. It's definitely a fine line to tread when adding real life to blog life. (:

I'm a naturally oversharing person (as you know ;)) but social media / the blog is somewhere that needs to reign it in. I think its scary where some bloggers are expected to share every part of their life with their readers / but fir a hefty income others are more than happy to do so. Weird huh? x

Haha definitely! I think it's really easy to lose yourself in the grander scheme of things - think of all the legalities and the court cases that fall out of Twitter and Faceyb nowadays, eh? It's easy yet hard at the same time to tread the balance between sharing lovely, interesting content and sharing your own life experiences to pad it all out.

It's a tricky one isn't it? Part of me adores blogging; the platforms of twitter and Facebook etc and the rather 'magical and cosy' world that reading other blogs can create but also it scares me sometimes that the world is moving so fast, evolving and I can never seem to catch up with it!

Sometimes I think it's sad, the way people are glued to their phones, posting intimate pictures for the world to see and that we are living in this cyber world that initially was meant to bring people closer together but ironically (or IMO anyway) seems to be doing the complete opposite. No one talks any more, properly talks. Or so it feels sometimes.

Anyway, sorry Michelle went off on a tangent there haha! Most importantly, well done for addressing this issue and being so honest and upfront about it! xox

I adore the blogging community and giving mini lifestyle snippets and sharing ideas, but there comes a time where we should be moving forward and not having to give up everything. I can't remember the last time I called a friend for a chat: Whatsapp, Skype, Snapchat and the like make it feel as though I've had some friend time but in reality, I'm more disconnected than ever! x

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