5 THINGS WE LEARNED FROM . . .

All the Good Ones Aren't Taken

Change the Way You Date and Find Lasting Love

August 05, 2007|By Anne E. Stein

All the Good Ones Aren't Taken

Change the Way You Date and Find Lasting Love

By Debbie Magids, PhD, and Nancy Peske (St. Martin?s, $13.95 paper)

If you regularly go out on bad dates or keep finding yourself in relationships that don't work, it's time to examine your thoughts and behavior patterns and make some changes, says therapist/author Debbie Magids in her book, now in paperback.

1. There are plenty of bad excuses for being single. If "all the good ones are taken," for example, then no one would be getting married. Notice what excuses you have and work on changing your thinking.

2. Do you fear intimacy or commitment? You'll often attract guys who feel the same way and that's a no-win situation. When you work out those fears, you'll be able to find a partner who mirrors your new, healthy beliefs.

3. Love shouldn't be a painful burden. If your relationship isn't energizing and uplifting, you may be avoiding current issues in the hope that some day things will get better. It's time to deal with reality.

4. Life's problems won't be solved if you find a "perfect partner." No relationship can live up to that expectation.

5. Approach a date with curiosity rather than pessimism, and it just might go well.