Most of the time I’m pretty chill. A lot of people call me peaceful even. My kids don’t, but other people do… But one thing that totally gets me angry is when people feel like crap for behaviors that they do that are hurtful to themselves, behaviors that they’re trying to quit. I see clients with debilitating depression, addiction, eating issues, self sabotage, and anxiety, who are blaming themselves for not being strong enough to just be positive or quit the behavior. Maybe you’ve been there. You think, “If I were stronger I wouldn’t be dealing with this, I feel so dumb that I haven’t gotten over this yet. I know better.”

Traditional therapy and psychology are amazing at helping you understand why you’re doing the things you’re doing. But that’s not enough! What good is it to have someone tell you, “Well, I can see why you have anxiety. You had this scary experience when you were three and now your brain is stuck in fight or flight.” Then they send you home!

And you feel like, “Well, that confirms what I already knew. There’s something wrong with me. Now it’s official.” And you get to feel like a broken person the rest of your life. You may learn coping skills, but you’re never given the option to retrain your brain so that you aren’t stuck anymore! That drives me nuts! Or worse, someone gives you advice like ‘Just think positively. Just pray more. It’s all in your head.’ Many people hear that and it just confirms even further the notion that there’s something wrong with them.

Your mind is your friend right? It helps keep you alive, keep your heart beating, alerting you to danger, communicating with the people you love. But what if I told you your mind is not interested in helping you succeed. Would that help explain a few things?

If our minds were interested in helping us succeed, they would not freeze when we want to say something to that cute person. They would not get nervous and want to die, instead of asking for a raise. They would not get sick on the day of the big presentation. You thought that was a coincidence? Nope, your mind did that! And they would not fight so much to be right instead of having peaceful, loving relationships. One of the biggest obstacles standing in your way of success is your mind! But you can change it into the biggest driver of success. Those who are successful know this and have created ways to do just that. I’ll share one of those ways later.

Our minds actually go into ‘fight or flight’ when presented with new situations or challenges. This is the fear response instinct that kept us alive when we were a more tribal civilization and had real threats to our