How to Find Love

When I was single (aka not even a whiff of single men, consequently facing an absolute famine), I used to tell all my friends, enemies and what have you, "Introduce me to single men! I've decided to outsource my love life to you!" And in spite of having a million friends, I remained single. That is because they did not know too many single people, or I didn't like the ones they thought I'd get along with, or they thought the men were completely unsuitable. I had complete faith that since I had told so many people, they would find me someone, but my love life remained a total disaster. And then, one day it dawned on me. I could not outsource something as important as the rest of my life. I would have to do this myself.

I don't even let someone else prepare a presentation, or shoot a film. I don't outsource the buying of my shoes or clothes, I decide what I want to eat in a restaurant because I know best what I like - so how could I let someone decide whom I was going to love forever?

If we were to actually rely on someone, would we not just have arranged marriages? Because after all, who knows us better than our parents? Who better to figure out which man/woman we will get along with? But if we want to do this ourselves, then we will have to do this ourselves.

Our friends may know us well enough, but here's a story! My brother Abhishek and his wife Dali have a close common friend. And yet, she never introduced them, thinking they were not "each other's type." They met on Footloose No More and are happily married now. So much for outsourcing!

If it were so easy to marry someone that another person chose for us, based on a list of qualities we provide, there would be no inter-religion marriages, or younger men marrying older women, or irate parents trying to stop their children from marrying those they think unsuitable.

So do it yourself - land up at every place you may meet single people (including the ones women's magazines tell you about), be yourself, don't wait for an introduction and take a leap of faith, because, and I speak from experience (everyone thought my husband and I were a total mismatch) - even we ourselves don't know who we want to grow old with, until we meet that special person who makes our heart go "pitter patter."

So go ahead, outsource your wedding, but the marriage - keep that in your own hands and heart.Because outsourcing gets you mathematically correct matches, but only your heart knows how to write poetry that you will like.