Seth Abramovitch

Joe Pressil, a 36-year-old from Houston, was somewhat surprised to learn that his ex-girlfriend had become pregnant just three months after the couple broke up, because she had always claimed she was unable to have children due to a medical condition. He grew even more surprised when she gave birth to twins, and proved via blood tests that Pressil was the father. Then came a receipt in the mail from somewhere called the Advanced Fertility Center of Texas, which listed Pressil as a "patient," and the realization of what had actually occurred at last began to set in: Pressil says he was the victim of grand theft semen.

"I did notice a little bit because she would take the condom and ask me [if she could] discard it. And usually, a male would discard their own property, but she would always take the condom and she would run off out of the room and I just didn't think anything of it."

Pressil is suing the clinic, but not the mother of his twins. Her attorney counters that the lawsuit is a scam cooked up by Pressil to get out of paying child support.

"That's exactly what this is about," [he said, adding that his] client denies ever taking semen from a used condom for the in vitro procedure.

Here's hoping they can put all of this behind them. Thanksgivings are hard enough without mom and dad getting into another one of their famous "You know you swiped that rubber!"/"No I didn't, you lyin' cheapskate!"-disputes over the dinner table. [KPRC, Screengrab via KPRC]