Derek Whitney – World of Psychologyhttp://psychcentral.com/blog
Dr. John Grohol's daily update on all things in psychology and mental health. Since 1999.Sat, 10 Dec 2016 04:22:32 +0000en-UShourly1111817284How to Keep the Daily Grind from Chewing You Uphttp://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/02/18/how-to-keep-the-daily-grind-from-chewing-you-up/
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/02/18/how-to-keep-the-daily-grind-from-chewing-you-up/#respondMon, 18 Feb 2013 16:35:32 +0000http://psychcentral.com/blog/?p=41711Like the flu, work stress has become epidemic. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that up to 40 percent of Americans rate their job stress as extremely high. The damage isn’t just emotional, however. Chronic stress debilitates the body and lowers resistance to disease. Fortunately, you can take simple steps to relax and beat the grind.

When Stress Works Overtime

Physiologically, working under constant stress is like racing your car’s engine with the parking brake on. Parts start wearing out. Integrative medicine expert Dr. Andrew Weil notes that while our minds have embraced modern life, our bodies haven’t changed much in ten thousand years. They are not designed for long, sedentary hours facing chronic anxiety.

A major culprit is the hormone cortisol. Cortisol plays a crucial role in the fight-or-flight response, arming us with short-term energy, enhanced memory and pain tolerance. However, extended stress triggers chronically elevated levels that lead to health problems. Common effects are insomnia, depression, poor memory, and lowered immunity. Longer term, cortisol overload contributes to heart disease, cancer and autoimmune disorders.

Nurture Your Inner Neanderthal

According to Dr. Weil, one way to combat modern stress is to return to our roots. Spending time outside, eating natural foods, and getting a full night’s sleep are among the basics that many of us overlook.

Indulge your hobbies. Hobbies relax and revitalize us. Even just six minutes of pleasure reading can lower stress levels. If you need inspiration, try new activities with an open mind. Yoga classes are filled with people who never thought of themselves as the meditative type.

Move your body. Exercise breaks the physical stress cycle and promotes restorative sleep. The trick is to find a practical activity that you truly enjoy even if it’s power walking at the mall.

Try mind-body activities. Disciplines such as yoga and meditation induce a calm state that counteracts the stress response. You dwell more in the present and feel less anxious about the past or future.

Strategies for Decreasing Stress at Work

When under stress, it’s often hard to tell what you can change and what you must gracefully accept. Even in the toughest workplace, however, you can change your own behavior.

Stop multitasking. Most people’s brains are not wired to multitask, and doing so causes stress and lowers productivity. Instead, chunk your time and work on tasks sequentially. Cut down interruptions by using strategies such as checking email only once per hour.

Take lunch breaks. Many Americans skip breaks due to workload, but leaving your desk helps cut daily stress. Take a walk or have a good laugh over lunch with co-workers or a YouTube video. If you must work through lunch, schedule a later break on your calendar.

Find out where you stand. Feeling in limbo at work is stressful. Get your responsibilities in writing and talk regularly with your boss about expectations and performance. Keep a written log for later reference if needed.

Look for another job. Even if changing jobs isn’t feasible, the act of testing the waters can make you feel more empowered. You never know what opportunities might emerge.

By getting back to basics and spending time on activities that you love, you can keep job stress at bay. The key is committing to your own well-being.

]]>http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/02/18/how-to-keep-the-daily-grind-from-chewing-you-up/feed/041711The Fine Line Between Self-Confidence & Cockinesshttp://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/12/26/the-fine-line-between-self-confidence-cockiness/
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/12/26/the-fine-line-between-self-confidence-cockiness/#commentsWed, 26 Dec 2012 22:35:17 +0000http://psychcentral.com/blog/?p=39395We all know people who sing their own praises at every work or social opportunity. You may sometimes wonder if they know something about self-confidence that you don’t. Perhaps their annoying habit is a sign that they’ve discovered some secret to waking up every day feeling ready to conquer the world. Truly, the line between self-confidence and arrogance can seem finer than it really is.

Cocky or Confident?

Cocky people do have confidence, but it comes from a different place than true self-assurance. Arrogance is one result of building self-esteem from outward sources such as financial privilege or constant praise. However, yank the external support system away, and the person’s sense of self-worth goes with it.

You build true self-confidence from within and project it to the world. Confident people have a realistic picture of their own traits and abilities and trust themselves enough to respond to life authentically. They learn from failure rather than letting it define them, and they forge ahead a bit wiser.

A hallmark of the genuinely self-assured person is the ability to admit to a mistake without excessive apologizing or rationalization. A cocky colleague, on the other hand, is more likely to pass the buck.

Four Ways to Tell the Difference

1. Style vs. Bling Addiction.

True style is personal and has little to do with trends. Confident people enjoy what they have without defining themselves by their possessions. These are the folks who survive disasters with a strong and giving spirit. Their sense of self remains constant even if they must physically rebuild.

Arrogant people are more often emotionally devastated by material losses and may struggle harder to define their core values in the face of adversity. Not everyone who flaunts “stuff” is cocky, but ostentation suggests a distorted self-image.

2. Active Listening vs. the Monologue.

That person who insists on holding court in any gathering is probably a frightened jester rather than a monarch.

Arrogant people need to validate their belief of being better than others and are constantly looking for opportunities to sell themselves.

If you like yourself as you are, you free up energy to be genuinely interested in other people. You engage in active listening and ask sincere questions. In turn, people will respond positively to your attentiveness.

3. Ambition vs. Ruthlessness.

Ambition is not a crime. Confident people relish achievement and contributing their talents to the world. They don’t feel threatened by others’ successes and instead try to learn from them.

Cocky people need to believe that they are on top even if reality says otherwise. This can lead to unnecessarily manipulative or callous behavior as they focus on defending a power base at all costs.

4. The Human vs. the Greek God.

As a self-confident person, you accept that you are just a human being. You are intrinsically no better or worse than anyone else. In addition to your successes, you have flaws, failures and really bad hair days or even years. You treat yourself with compassion while taking responsibility for your choices, and you learn from misfortune and mistakes.

Arrogant people can’t risk the fragile persona crumbling in the face of defeat and run from criticism. They tend to go to extremes of either deflecting blame onto others or condemning themselves for being only human.If you wonder about your own cocky moments, you are probably in the ballpark of self-confidence.

Truly secure people evaluate their own behavior and face their doubts. By letting go of fear, you set yourself up for success.

]]>http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/12/26/the-fine-line-between-self-confidence-cockiness/feed/539395The Science of Tearshttp://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/11/18/the-science-of-tears/
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/11/18/the-science-of-tears/#commentsSun, 18 Nov 2012 18:24:00 +0000http://psychcentral.com/blog/?p=38148United States President Barack Obama celebrated his November 2012 victory with a mix of cool eloquence and raw emotion rarely seen in public leaders. The emotion culminated in a teary moment during his speech thanking campaign workers.

Underneath the obvious reasons for celebration lay an ancient mechanism of stress release and interpersonal bonding found in tear production. Contrary to Western stereotypes about crying and weakness, Obama shared something with his audience that has served human needs throughout history.

What is the science behind tears? What is their purpose? Let’s find out…

The Science of Tears

While people feel a profound difference between happiness and sadness, the body often doesn’t make a distinction. Intense situations of any sort can provoke overwhelming reactions. Whether the trigger is a political victory or a crisis, the body produces more stress hormones as part of the preparation for the fight-or-flight response.

Tears act as a safety valve by releasing excess stress hormones such as cortisol. If left unchecked, chronic elevated levels of these hormones can cause physical ailments and play havoc with mood. As stress often precedes a good cry, the sense of calm often felt afterward is at least in part due to hormonal release.

Tears of Victory

The grueling presidential campaign meant months of high stress on top of existing pressures. Once the election results were clear, everyone involved likely felt a great sense of relief that the process was over. Biologically, both winners and losers had elevated levels of stress hormones that needed release. When President Obama gave his post-victory speech to his campaign staff, his body was primed for a heartfelt tear or two. The expression of emotion benefited his supporters as well by boosting a sense of bonding and attachment.

President Obama’s tears were spontaneous, and their genuineness moved his audience. Tears usually signal deep emotion and communicate that a person’s response to a situation is authentic. Nonverbal signs of honesty can be critical in many social situations. In fact, tear production may have evolved partly for this reason.

Raw Emotion Builds Unity

Studies in emotion research suggest that crying often signals vulnerability. By blurring vision, tears lessen a person’s ability to behave aggressively. According to Dr. Oren Hasson, an evolutionary psychologist at Tel Aviv University, crying signals submission to an attacker. It also promotes feelings of sympathy or unity in associates. By letting your guard down through tears, you tell your supporters that you trust and identify with them. Any political strategist can appreciate the value of this dynamic.

Why Fake Tears Don’t Work

Scientists have discovered that the chemical composition of emotional tears differs from those caused by external stimuli such as slicing onions. Emotional tears contain higher levels of certain stress hormones such as adrenocorticotropic hormone, prolactin and the painkiller leucine enkephalin. Adrenocorticotropic hormone and prolactin levels rise with stress. Emotional tears also contain more manganese than those from irritants, and manganese helps regulate mood. Chronically depressed people often have high levels of manganese in their systems.

A good cry from either happy or sad events releases high amounts of stress hormones, protein and manganese. Thanks to these chemicals leaving your body, you often feel relieved and relaxed. Crocodile tears don’t have the biochemical or psychic weight of deep emotion behind them, and an audience can usually tell.

Although President Obama did not plan his emotional display as a tribute to evolution, its effects were true to scientific prediction. His vulnerability sparked a different kind of attention. Much of the audience seemed to respond with sympathy and a sense that this world leader was more like them than perhaps thought. Such social mediation is exactly what tears were designed to do.

]]>http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/11/18/the-science-of-tears/feed/838148Exercise: Nature’s Mood Enhancerhttp://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/10/24/exercise-natures-mood-enhancer/
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/10/24/exercise-natures-mood-enhancer/#commentsWed, 24 Oct 2012 20:37:41 +0000http://psychcentral.com/blog/?p=37324How often have you wished for a happiness drug without health or legal consequences?

Good news: Nature has built the answer into the human body. Regular exercise acts as a mood booster and happens to be good for people.

You have probably heard about the euphoria athletes often feel after sustained exertion, and perhaps you have felt your mood lift after a workout or a brisk walk. However, the exercise high doesn’t depend on long workouts.

In fact, the best results come from doing a little each day.

The Chemistry of Exercise

Stress is a prevalent issue, but the stress response actually is beneficial during exercise. When you begin a workout, your heart rate rises and triggers the body’s fight-or-flight instinct. The brain releases a chemical called brain-derived neurotrophic factor to protect neurons from the anticipated effects of a prolonged battle. At the same time, the brain releases endorphins to numb pain and facilitate peak performance.

These chemicals also induce feelings of well-being. Endorphins can cause euphoria (known as the runner’s high). Brain-derived neurotrophic factor soothes ruffled neurons to promote a sense of clarity. This is why a problem can seem more manageable after a walk or run to clear your head. Your brain has literally returned to baseline to allow you to respond most effectively to environmental threats.

The useful thing about brain-derived neurotrophic factor and endorphins is that they are addictive, just like nicotine. When people crave cigarettes, they are expressing the desires of nicotinic receptors in the nervous system. The urge to smoke can feel overwhelming. Similarly, the body can become addicted to the sense of clarity and well-being that often follows exercise.

The Happiness Workout

If exercise truly is addictive, why isn’t everyone a triathlete? The answer may lie in the conditions under which exertion triggers happiness. As with many addictive behaviors, the greatest euphoria occurs when starting a workout regimen. This may partially explain the enthusiasm new gym members feel and why so many of them stop going after a few months. As the happiness effect tapers off, people are no longer biochemically rewarded for working out. It becomes another chore, and only the highly motivated continue.

Fortunately, an answer exists that doesn’t involve extraordinary willpower. Much public attention has focused on research findings that just 20 minutes of exercise per day can have substantial physical benefits.

Additional studies suggest that the same routine powers feelings of happiness as well. Just as a smoker reaches for that first morning cigarette, so the person hitting the gym daily can expect a mood boost. The brain becomes conditioned to the expectation of the regular release of endorphins and other mood-enhancing chemicals.

Daily workouts are the best way to maximize the happiness effect. Weekend warriors and people who exercise every other day are less likely to feel a mood boost. They are too frequently active to benefit from the beginners’ high. At the same time, they don’t exercise regularly enough to form a biochemical habit.

For many people, an effective solution is to alter their expectations of what a workout should be. Rather than exercising strenuously when energy and schedule allow, aim for 20 or 30 minutes per day of moderate activity such as walking. If this seems like too much, start with 10 minutes. The point is to establish a daily exercise habit that trains the brain to respond with feelings of happiness.

Daily exercise becomes a self-reinforcing habit motivated by positive feelings. Once your brain associates workouts with happiness, you’ll wonder how you managed so long without those running shoes.

]]>http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/10/24/exercise-natures-mood-enhancer/feed/437324Why Is It So Hard for Men to Cry?http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/10/12/why-is-it-so-hard-for-men-to-cry/
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/10/12/why-is-it-so-hard-for-men-to-cry/#commentsFri, 12 Oct 2012 15:28:55 +0000http://psychcentral.com/blog/?p=36518Although science insists that crying is natural, culture still sends messages that strong men don’t cry.

Many parents raise their sons to cry privately, if at all. It is ingrained in many men that masculine identity means holding back the tears except during times of extreme grief. Although women have also accepted this view, more women are voicing their belief that men and boys should be encouraged to express sensitive emotions.

One thing seems certain, though: History and biology side with tears.

Tears of Champions

Until recently, many cultures believed that tears were a sign of manliness. World history and literature are filled with male leaders who cried publicly. Tears meant that a man lived by a code of values and cared enough to show emotion when things went wrong. Medieval warriors and Japanese samurai cried during times of epic tragedy. In Western culture, a man’s capacity to cry indicated his honesty and integrity. Abraham Lincoln used strategic tears during his speeches, and modern presidents have followed suit. Despite all this, until recently, men shedding tears have been viewed as less than masculine.

After decades of berating men for their tears, culture seems to be returning to the idea that crying is a male strength. A recent Penn State study found that participants considered a man’s tears to be a sign of honesty while a woman’s tears showed emotional weakness. In both sexes, a delicate misting of the eye was more acceptable than crying.

Tears and Health

Health research has found many benefits to crying. When people suppress the urge to cry, emotions that would have been expressed through tears are bottled up instead. The underlying biochemistry affects the body differently than if the feelings had found a physical release. Over time, repressed emotions can trigger physiological changes that manifest in clinical symptoms such as high blood pressure.

Social scientists have found correlations between men’s crying and their mental health. A study published in the journal Psychology of Men & Masculinity found that football players who cried about game outcomes reported higher levels of self-esteem. They felt secure enough to shed tears in front of their teammates and seemed less concerned about peer pressure.

When to Hold the Tears

With so much feel-good press about embracing feelings, it’s easy to forget that sometimes stoicism is the better course. Emergencies usually mean postponing tears in order to accomplish vital tasks. Combat soldiers can’t stop in the middle of battle to have a good cry. In fact, since most combat soldiers have been men, warfare throughout the centuries may have contributed to the cultural rise of the tough, tearless hero.

Crisis personnel need to maintain calm in the field just as soldiers d. Men dominate law enforcement, the military and most public safety fields. These men have a professional mandate to keep emotionally steady, which sets a model for overall behavior.

Even in daily life, feelings alone rarely solve problems. Men may be healthier for allowing themselves to cry, but they often have personal reasons for keeping cool. Family hardships, for example, often require postponing tears in order to be strong for others who are in more pain. A calm demeanor doesn’t mean a man is in denial any more than tears mean he is emotionally unstable.

As cultural winds shift back toward acceptance of the emotional man, men and women will continue to adjust their personal lives around the idea. Some men maintain that raising a strong boy means discouraging tears. Others feel that the women in their lives only want to see male vulnerability when it’s convenient. As with most behaviors, crying is more appropriate in some situations than others. The real task is not only to show good judgment, but to refrain from judging men simply for shedding tears like any other human being.