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Saturday, June 1, 2013

Slow and Tedious - My review of Fast & Furious 6

Fast and Furious 6 - 2013 - Directed by Justin LinI can tell within 10-15 minutes whether I will like a movie. Fast 6 has the distinction of helping me come to my conclusion even sooner. During the opening credits we are shown flashbacks to the first 5 films. You read it right, flashbacks of car chases and explosions. Subtlety is not king in this franchise.What is the plot you say? If you were to ask the filmmakers I am sure they would borrow from The Treasure of the Sierra Madre and say we don't need no stinkin' plot. Just need fast cars, hot women and millions of mindless drones. Judging by the worldwide box office grosses they were right.The gang comes back together to foil a plot by Owen Shaw (Luke Evans) who plans on... hell I have no idea what he is planning. Its just the excuse to blow things up. Speaking of the gang, they should all have their SAG cards revoked (Evans can keep his.) No one appears to be having any fun here. All those horror movie spoofs that come out all the time, I would love to see one about this franchise. (Where are The Wayans Bros when you need them?, they would have a field day with this. Maybe they haven't figured out a way to parody a parody.)Thankfully, there are a few moments of humor, albeit unintentionally. The Rock jumps down about 50 feet from a speeding car on a overpass to a speeding car on a underpass and he does more damage to the car than it to him. (I probably shouldn't bring up physics but once you jump off the car you cease to keep going its speed. He would land on the concrete. Take notes Wayans Bros.) Multiple people get beat to within an inch of brain damage only to shrug it off as if they got bit by a mosquito. Vin Diesel and Michelle Rodriguez crash at an alarming rate of speed from separate cars only to meet in midair and land safely on a car windshield, happily ever after. In all seriousness, this film is an insult to dumb people.At one point in the film the gang is huddled around as Vin tells The Rock, we are all here. Give us a reason to stay. I wish the filmmakers had given that same thought to the audience.You might be wondering what made me give this movie a 1 rating? I blame that on Luke Evans. If he had just mailed it in like everyone else this film would of gotten the rating it truly deserved.Rating: 1 out of 10

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Best and Worst Signers of 2014

The following is my list of the best and worst signers of 2014. The list will change quite frequently!

BEST

#1 - Tom Cruise - I've always thought he was one of the great signers and recently he confirmed it yet again. He is a legend who never carries himself that way and is unbelievably nice when it comes to his fans.

#2 - Angelina Jolie - Only seen her once this year but what a great time it was! She signed everything in sight and is still the great signer she has always been!

#3 - Al Pacino - Oh how I love Mr. Pacino. A truly living legend who is a great signer.

#4 - Rosario Dawson - One of the nicest celebrities you will ever meet.

#5 - JJ Abrams - I am trying to think of 1 time I saw him and he didn't sign and I'm still thinking.

#6 - Brad Pitt - Not at Angie's level but then again not many celebrities are!

#7 - Giancarlo Esposito - This man personifies class. Recently after getting him to sign a bunch for me, he thanked me!

#8 - Matt Damon - Literally signs every time I see him.

#9 - Lana Del Ray - The most un-assuming celebrity and musician you are likely to meet! As fan friendly as one could possibly hope!

#10 - Matt Bomer - Continuing success has not stopped this guy from being a great signer!

WORST

#1 - The Cast of Girls - As bad these 4 girls are in person I have no interest in watching their HBO show.

#2 -Kate Upton - To get her to sign I had to literally beg her and switch photos repeatedly and deal with her attitude. No thanks.

#3 - Lea Michele - I'm simply over her Diva attitude. I dont mind Diva's, I just mind those who think they are and clearly aren't.

#4 - Kevin Costner - Gives Bruce Willis a run for his money when it comes to arrogance.

#5 - Jessica Alba - Met her one on one and wouldn't even acknowledge that I was alive.

#6 - Winona Ryder - It pains me she is on this list and I am a huge fan but she is not a fan of signing!

#7 - Sam Shepard - This old man isn't going to sign, I just need to accept it.

#8 - Don Johnson - For someone who hasn't done anything recently he sure is a tough graph to get.

#9 -

#10 - Wesley Snipes - I hope this changes in the near future but as of right now he deserves this spot.