Fatherhood Friday: A Different Kind of Bond

On a more serious note, there does seem to always be a different and special bond between a father and his children. I’ve often heard people refer to my daughter being a daddy’s girl, but my son is just as enamored with me. One might say, “well, children love their parents”. This is true by and large, but I am talking about something a bit different, and I imagine that moms have a similar experience, noticing that they too have a special relationship with their kids.

There just seems a sort of gravitation towards daddies. For example, there are times when my son just wants his daddy. He been that way since infancy. And to this day, when I get home from work, or when we’ve had any sizable absence between us it’s “daddy!”, and a flurry of legs trying to propel him to me. He makes sure that I pick him up and often will crawl up in my lap for a kiss on the forehead, then go back to his playing. I remember that he would always wakeup, if he was asleep, as start cooing and babbling the moment I started to preach. My daughter has taken this up now, except she mostly just stares the whole time as if captivated by every word. She actually does that around the house too. I’ll be speaking to my wife and look to notice that my daughter is locked in on daddy, and when I catch her gaze she smiles the biggest sweetest smile. Our children have a special relationship with my wife, to be sure, but I can’t experience that as intimately as I can my own relationship with my children.

Being a father has changed a great many things in my life, and perhaps that has something to do with the fact that my little ones are so fond of me. There are a number of things that I desire to share with my children, and things that I want to do with them. I love being silly, and I love play wrestle time. In fact, that may show one of the biggest differences between my wife and I. I am far more likely to tickle and joke with my son when he falls, whereas my wife is more likely to tend to him and see if he’s hurt. That’s not to say that I don’t tend to him if I think it to be a serious fall, or that she doesn’t occasionally chuckle a bit and make a comment about him falling when it’s clear that it’s only a little tumble. These little idiosyncrasies effect our relationship with our children. My son knows that I love him, and would be there for him if he’s hurt, but if he wants a bit more sympathetic parent, he heads to my wife, who will rock and cuddle him. Likewise, he knows that mommy will play with him, but if he wants to wrestle and such, daddy’s the one he searches out.

There’s nothing wrong with parents having different roles, and different approaches to their children, as long as that aren’t conflicting. I am daddy, and I love being daddy. I’m cooky and fun, and when I need to be I’m stern. My wife is mommy, and it is a joy watching with out kids doing the things that she does best. In this way our kids get two parents engaging lovingly in their own special way, and we get to bond with our kids in unique ways.