Heisenberg and Schrödinger get pulled over for speeding.The cop asks Heisenberg “Do you know how fast you were going?”Heisenberg replies, “No, but we know exactly where we are!”The officer looks at him confused and says “you were going 108 miles per hour!”Heisenberg throws his arms up and cries, “Great! Now we’re lost!”The officer looks over the car and asks Schrödinger if the two men have anything in the trunk."A cat," Schrödinger replies.The cop opens the trunk and yells “Hey! This cat is dead.”Schrödinger angrily replies, “Well he is now.”

Only true scientists understand the following joke :)On Valentine's Day a man got his wife elements. She was puzzled when she first saw them, only to think that it was out of his league to pull a stunt like this for her on this day. What elements were they you may ask? She saw them in the following order: Carbon, Hydrogen, Oxygen, Carbon, Oxygen, Lanthanum, and Tellerium.(Hint: If you don't get it, look at their element/atomic symbol.)