Category Archives: The Messages

This Memorial Day, let’s acknowledge how valuable the amount of time we spend living this life truly is.

We all have to die. But we don’t all get the privilege of dying for something. Something big, something important, or something amazing: freedom. I define patriotism in myself as an intense gratitude for all vets, past and present, who are (or were) happy to die for our freedom.

We all have to die. But we don’t all get the privilege of dying for something.

And what being happy to die for your country’s freedom really means is being ready and willing to give up your life as currency to pre-pay — on demand and on command — to insure that no government does to us the people, ever again, what the government we originally revolted against did to us, including our own.

For those who watched my very first video in Nathan Hale Park where I recount the story of how my mom took me there when I was 6 years old to explain to me the importance of the Bill of Rights and that people had died for me during the Revolutionary War, not so that they would have freedom of speech or freedom of religion or the right to vote or the right to due process, but so that Iwould, you know that that is why I hold my political/social justice interviews there.

Nathan Hale’s only regret was that he had but one life to lose for his country.

Let’s call the authority we have over weakness in ourselves autonomy, because it’s the authority we have over our own premeditated actions. Not all of our actions happen after some consideration. For example, you’re breathing and blinking right now. Do you recall making a decision to take those actions? Our survival instinct has the authority over those actions, not our personality. In a future post, I’ll go in depth into the difference between power, control and authority. For now, here are a few tips and suggestions for achieving greater autonomy in the face of any weakness you find exposing itself in your personality and preventing you from taking action.

Cultivate realism

Don’t let anyone accuse you of being an optimist. Be logical instead. Optimism requires the denial of reality. For the very same reason, so does pessimism. The glass is half filled with water and half filled with air. Any other description of the cup of life is inaccurate at best and disingenuous at worst.

Instead, let’s see the possibilities for the future in terms of the accomplishments of the past. Remember when people said that there’d never be emancipation, women’s suffrage or a black President? (You do? Are you immortal? That is so cool — please DM me.) Pessimism, like optimism, is a rejection of half of reality. Rejection of reality is one way of lying. When governments present only one half of reality — even if that entire half is truthful — we call that lie propaganda. Don’t be the propaganda generator for your group of friends and family. Stick to the truth and acknowledging all the facts, viewing the horrifying parts and the joyful ones as being equally relevant.

Fear is your body’s way of warning you that you could be punished for the action you’re about to take

There are two ways to get and maintain justice: protest the injustice and demand that a specific solution be implemented by those in the position of authority to make it happen OR occupy a position of authority and implement it yourself. Both ways take time and involve a high degree of perseverance and a high pain threshold, but the first can be done right now. The first amendment of the Constitution protects our right to petition the government for a redress of grievances. Next time a link to a petition asking those in an authority position to take an action you strongly agree with gets posted on Facebook or Twitter and you hesitate to sign it, ask yourself if an authority figure from your past ever punished you for protesting injustice. We often attribute the traits of our first governors — our parents — to our current governors (the Government) even though our parents may have been a lot more dictatorial and tyrannical than our state or federal government. In order to keep our actual government in check, and reverse the many civil liberties violations that have been legislated in the past ten + years, we will have to be strong — not weak — and protest injustice. I don’t believe that you would be reading this post at all if you weren’t already on the strong side of the strength-weakness continuum, but when you feel that hesitation, or worse, the rhetorical “what difference does my one signature/vote/phone call/letter make?” question pops into your head, ask yourself if isn’t really fear masquerading as a “sensible” objection.

Then ask yourself, what is the worst thing that could happen? Remember that brave people and cowardly people both feel fear; brave people simply protest injustice and object to abuse of power by authority anyway.

Emotions are information

Fear can be an indicator of weakness but it’s also an excellent way for the survival instinct to remind us that we might be making a huge mistake. Rather than try to eliminate fear (which is exactly what you should feel when in danger! also, going into fight or flight triggers lots of adrenaline and noradrenaline to flood your bloodstream, and who doesn’t like that rush?), next time you feel it, remind yourself that emotions are information. Fear informs us that we are in danger. Let it be a matter of probability: How likely is it that you will be punished by the authority whose injustice you are protesting? We’re very lucky in the United States to be able to tweet and blog and call the ACLU if we get punished for expressing our freedom of speech. Check out my post on what a fascist regime looks like if you want to learn more about the alternative.

Sadness, like fear, is often viewed as a weakness, as an indicator of someone who is “really emotional” as opposed to, say, “really successful” or “really powerful.” At some point in our 20’s, we arrive at a realization followed by a conclusion. The realization is a given, but the conclusion varies for everyone and will define our attitude toward power and authority for the rest of our life. The realization is that the amount of corruption in the world is widespread and devastating. The vast majority of people then conclude that they cannot change it.This is because they perceive themselves to be weak but may not even be aware of seeing themselves in that way. The next time someone says to you, “I’m not strong like you, [your name],” you say, “Yes, you are strong and that’s a lie. There are two kinds of greed, greed for power and greed for money. Whoever told you you weren’t strong wanted to profit from your perception of self as being someone who isn’t strong. Whether they wanted to gratify their desire to have power over you, make money off of you, or both, they were lying, and you are strong.” It is more likely that they will not perceive themselves as being weak but instead perceive you as being stupid/ignorant for thinking you have some kind of power. There are some indicators or signs of this that I like to call “blinking red neon signs.” The irony here is that only people who are aware of the incredible degree of power they have ever get anything done that makes a lasting difference for many people (for good or bad!). So watch for these indicators of weakness not only in others but in yourself.

When you come across a person who is metaphorically holding up this red neon sign that declares, “there’s nothing I can do. I’m simply not powerful enough,” they are displaying submission, sometimes to life itself. A few of the indicators are sarcasm, hatred, and gross predictions of the future. Sarcasm, as John Knowles said, is the protest of the weak. Hatred is a declaration of impotence (anger is what we feel when we do become aware of our power, confidence is what we feel when we are finally expressing that power by taking action to right the wrong and correct the injustice). And predicting the future (for example, “we’re not going to have a female president; it’ll never happen”) is faux omniscience; when people predict the future in this general way and in a presumptuous tone, it is usually a compensation for overwhelming feelings of fear caused by not knowing what is going to happen. This is an act of self-comforting, the adult version of thumb-sucking. These people are mainly talking to themselves, to reassure themselves that the unknowable is knowable. Now please consider how much pain they must be experiencing to feel compelled to constantly self-comfort in this way. From that perspective, don’t you feel lucky — and grateful — that you are strong enough and brave enough to handle going into that place of “I don’t know” and still feeling ok? And, the more consistently you take action, the more pressure you’ll personally be exerting to shape the future, and the less you’ll have to guess at what the future holds because you’ll be sitting in the front row as it takes a more and more clearly defined shape in front of your very eyes.

When you feel sadness, know that you have detected injustice. Feeling sad is how you know. Now, what are you going to do? What action are you going to take to change the situation?

Joy is often measured in the absence of pain

Happiness is an emotion — not a goal. The concept of the pursuit of happiness (thanks, Founders) has irrevocably influenced what we as Americans think of as the meaning of life. As human beings, we know we are capable of feeling joy even in the midst of injustice and crisis (think SNL), and I highly recommend you write down on scratch paper or a note card, “what would it be like if I had a happiness scale and could actually measure the emotion joy in the same way I could weigh coffee or sugar or flour?” Maybe your pain:happiness ratio is 1:1. The most intense joy is often measured in a total absence of pain. What action could you take to get out of pain right now? Now, what action could you take to get into joy?

Want to read more about the glass being half filled with water and half filled with air? Click here.

Want to read my post on what a fascist regime looks like? Click here. Posts will open in a new window.

Cardinal Richelieu, born in France in 1585, was an expert in discerning how to manipulate or motivate the subjects of the Crown (King Louis XIII at that time and place in history). In his Political Testament, he noted that “… most people can be held to their duty through either fear or hope.” Leaders throughout human history, whether politicians, religious figureheads, or elders of a tribe, have long known the power of hope and fear in getting people to do what they otherwise would not have done by either terrifying them or inspiring them.

For this reason, the use of the phrase mind control is incomplete. The concept of controlling a group or civilization’s thoughts is rooted in influencing – asserting authority over – their emotions first. The two most primal emotions we feel, after love for our offspring (which is attachment, not desire for happiness) are hope and fear. Our emotions cause our thoughts; then, feelings and thoughts combine to lead to a specific perception of reality. For example, “life is what you make of it” is a perception of reality that doesn’t acknowledge the influence of people and events outside ourselves. “Shit happens” is a perception of reality that doesn’t acknowledge that good events happen randomly too. This three step recipe for influencing the feelings, thoughts, and complex perceptions of a people would more completely be described as behavior control. And it always starts with the planting of a seed: the seed of hope or the seed of fear.

So what’s the difference between Motivation and Manipulation?

Regret.

When we use our Power of influence to get someone to do something they would not have otherwise done, and they are glad they did it, we have motivated them. When we use our power of influence to get someone to do something they would not have otherwise done, and they regret it, we have manipulated them.

• People (regardless of whether or not their hearts are open or closed) will often feel motivated, safe and/or protected by that display of confidence, even if it is also an attempt to assert dominance, under certain circumstances. You probably know that a con artist is someone who convinces you to take part in an activity that you would not have participated in had you been aware of the true nature of the activity. Con is short for confidence. Why? Because the con artist gains your confidence before he convinces you to take part or gains your consent to act (illegally) on your behalf. Confidence indicates a low level of fear, and fearless people can make other people feel safe. Their intrepidity inspires (or convinces) us to trust them. Trust is another inversion, a practice that allows us to deny the symptoms instead of treating the underlying cause. In this case, trust is the denial of risk. Because we don’t want to be afraid as human beings, because fear is uncomfortable, we are eager to deny its presence in our bodies. When someone says, “trust me,” they are holding up a red neon sign that says, “deny the feeling in your stomach that something is not right.”

Want to read more about trading in trust for calculated risk? Click here.

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September 25 is National Voter Registration Day! In honor of such a beautiful day and in celebration of the freedom to vote granted to me by the 19th Amendment, which states that “the rights of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex,” and granted to everyone else who is a U.S. citizen by the United States Constitution and the 15th Amendment, I made this video with my friend Rose.

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What if I told you that you can’t trust other people — and not because there aren’t awesome, wonderful, reliable, true-to-their word individuals in the world — but because trust is not a concept anchored in reality?

Let’s define risk: the possibility or probability of danger or loss. This is why lenders will call the history of your borrowing and repayment patterns a “credit report” but have their in-house Risk Management department evaluate it when you come knocking for a mortgage or line of credit or car loan, etc. Your consumer credit score is, in all its statistical error (because it is calculated by human beings who are not omniscient), a pretty good predictor of your future behavior, but let’s acknowledge here that no lender “trusts” any of their borrowers. Instead, they assess the risk that they may not be repaid and if the risk (the statistical probability) is low enough, they choose to lend the money anyway. The use of the word “credit” makes it sound like the lender believes in you or has faith in you. Rest assured, they see your repayment history in the light of wholeness and have chosen to take the financial risk (which is the definition of a gamble) because of your “good” past behavior and despite the slew of unknowns that may affect your behavior in the future. Imagine for a moment what the credit/risk report of every relationship in your life might look like. Who always comes through and does what they say they will do? Whose credit/risk scores would be low?

When our hearts are open, we take risks anyway. Why? Because we know that even if those risks don’t pay off, and we end up experiencing loss, delay, sadness, and/or danger, we will have all the strength, perseverance, inspiration and drive to keep going and succeed the next time. And before we risk the possibility of having an unsuccessful love relationship, we acknowledge that probability, whether low or high, and reflect on whether or not we want to spend our time on this person, time (in the currency of hours and minutes) that no repo agent can get back for us. When the heart is open, we are filled with faith in ourselves and know that no matter the risk, we will make it through any pain caused by a financial or emotional risk that ends up going sour.

The next time someone asks you to trust them or asks why you don’t trust them, you’ll know how to explain that trust is not a true concept in reality. It is an illusion that allows us to deny the risk of loss — of time, money, love, or life. Now imagine if your parents and any other authority figures on whom you were dependent for guidance, food, shelter, and survival while a minor (or if you are a minor, are still dependent on) had never said, “just trust me,” and instead had consistently provided you with a logical reason to follow their directions. Imagine how you might view life and chance and luck and autonomy if they had separated their desire for your happiness from their desire for your compliance. Instead of hearing, “because I said so” or “just trust me on this one — someday you’ll understand,” you’d gotten guidance along the lines of, “I love you and desire your happiness. That’s why I’ve measured the risk in this situation and want you to take precaution to reduce it (by driving carefully, not hanging out with criminals, not flying a kite during a storm, not playing hide and go seek in a meth lab, etc.). This has nothing to do with trust and everything to do with risk. I wouldn’t be telling you to (wear a life jacket/helmet/mittens, save 10% of every dollar you earn, look both ways before crossing the street, etc.) if I didn’t think it would increase the quantity and quality of your life. I love you, I desire your happiness and that’s why I’m telling you these things: in order to take action to ensure that your happiness is the most probable outcome.”

Going back to repossession, there’s no telling when we could lose someone we love. One day they’re gone from our life and eventually we realize they were never truly ours to begin with. And any time we bring new life into the world, we are taking a risk. The probability is low, but remains nonetheless, that a child’s life could end before ours. When our heart is filled with faith, we know that even if we end up experiencing loss, delay, sadness, and/or danger, we will have all the strength, perseverance, inspiration, and drive to keep going. Whenever we give love, we’re taking a risk that it won’t be returned or reciprocated, just as when we give time or money. When the heart is open, we give love freely rather than lend it which is why forgiveness is the most generous gift of love we can present to another person. While the heart is closed, you may feel the need to “be able to trust” someone. When the heart is open, not only will your risk detector (your survival instinct via physical reactions in your gut, stomach, heart, or via the hairs on the back of your neck) be more accurate, sometimes you may choose to take the risk anyway, with full faith in yourself and the knowledge that you will confidently handle any outcome (even a default or total loss).

I use the word faith a lot and aren’t faith and trust the same? I would say no. Trust is the denial of the possibility of disappointment. Faith acknowledges the possibility and indeed its probability.

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The distance between point a and point b we measure in space. The distance between moment a and moment b we measure in time.

So the shortest distance — measured in space — between 2 points might very well be a straight line, but the shortest amount of time between 2 points could involve a very wavy trajectory.

Go around! Go around other people who are in the way. It always takes more time to stop and deal with them than to go around.

Your time is measurably valuable. Spend it on taking action to achieve your personal goals, making the world a better place, and enjoying life while you’re still healthy and have the fewest obligations, obligations which could, later in life, keep you from traveling, taking calculated risks, and meeting new and interesting people (obligations such as raising children and maintaining owned property).

What action are you going to take today to leave Earth a better place for future generations? And what part of being alive on this amazing planet are you going to enjoy most, so that when you look back on your life at the end of it (or afterwards, if you believe in an afterlife), you’ve also prevented regret?

Trying killing two birds with one stone today and prevent regret bygoing around.

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Happy 5th of July! Guess what is being clearanced out today because it’s the day after Independence Day?

Yes, these awesome paper plates!

I had an interesting 4th of July yesterday because a friend is staying with me right now till she moves into her new apartment next week. So I am experiencing some interdependence that is new to me and enjoying having someone around instead of my usual high degree of independence.

For a lot of people, the 4th is just another day off (or a day to get paid time and a half at both jobs like I did) but for me it is a day of gratitude. Here’s what I am super thankful for: freedom of speech, freedom of the press, freedom of religion, freedom from religion, the right to peacefully assemble, the right to due process and trial by jury in a court of law and the benefit of the doubt of my guilt and the presumption of my innocence, the right to bear arms, protection from torture (the 8th Amendment, although this one has been getting a lot of violation of late — haters gonna hate, Constitution violaters gonna violate), protection from the government searching my home and car without a warrant, the right to vote, and many many many other blessings and benefits we celebrate on the 4th of July, but most of all, the right to petition the government for a redress of grievances. Why? Because that First Amendment Right is the key to shifting the paradigm, starting at the top: the 7th chakra of Authority where the energy of anyone who influences our quantity and quality of life down in the 1st chakra of Survival resides (via the 7/1 chakra mirror).

When these rulers, whether members of government, religion, or other ruling bodies, can feel LOVE, they will no longer hurt others. Why? Because they’ll no longer desireto. These are the people who, once they can feel joyagain, will no longer take action to declare needless war, profit from the pain and suffering of others, or engage in torture and indefinite detainment. Please join me in asking God to make us all the conduit for the healing power of divine love which will open the hearts of those people who occupy an authority position so that they no longer hurt others for a very logical reason: they will no longer desire to.

You might find it interesting to know that the Second Amendment right to bear arms was the Plan B of the Founders. They certainly hoped and intended that the six clauses (tools/weapons) of the First Amendment would prevent a recurrence of tyranny — and the recurrence of the use of actual tools and actual weapons as protected by the Second Amendment in a future Revolutionary War. James Madison, one of the signers of the Declaration of Independence, wrote, “If men were angels, no government would be necessary. If angels were to govern men, neither internal nor external controls on government would be necessary.” The fact that it occurred to them to insert a Plan B into the Bill of Rights is a testament to Jim’s sagacity and foresight (and Tom’s, and Ben’s, et al).

And the six rights/tools/weapons of the First Amendment of the Constitution that he and the other founders wanted to be available to every future generation to use in order to maintain freedom (and prevent another revolution)?

*Freedom of speech

*freedom of the press

*freedom of religion (government can’t prevent you from worshiping God the way you desire to)

*freedom from religion (government can’t force you to worship God at all)

*freedom to assemble (to gather peacefully for a cause)

*and the freedom to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

I am so thankful for the high degree of freedom and independence we enjoy here in the U.S. I thank anyone past and present who has given their life or even a few hours of their life to maintain these blessings. So let’s continue to protest injustice — the peaceful, nonviolent way — not only for ourselves but for the generations that will follow ours, and never take any of our freedoms for granted.

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People say that time is money but in truth, money is time. Money is the human attempt to contain and assign a value to time.

Money: the human attempt to contain and assign a value to time.

We think in terms of how much money an object or service costs, but we really pay for everything we buy with the amount of time it took to earn that amount of money. If you don’t receive a paycheck from an employer for a specific amount (number of hours) of time, for example, if you receive money from family or work on salary, ask yourself how many hours did you actually put in last week or last month or last year? Then ask yourself, how much money did you receive in that same period of time? If you didn’t receive payment only in cash, for example, if you were given a paid vacation, what was the total dollar amount of anything received, including gifts and paid holidays? Then divide that figure by the number of hours you spent providing service to others, whether those others were children, clients, employers, patients, a spouse, teachers, etc. Now, hang on to that amount because we’re about to peel back the next layer of this time=money dynamic.

Because we buy food and shelter to last for all 24 hours of the day, the amount of money you made in the given time period must actually be divided by all the hours you were surviving during that time period. So whether you worked 40 hours last week or 140 hours last week, the total amount of money must be divided by the total number of hours in that
week, which is 168. (7 days x 24 hours = 168.) So whether you received $1,000 in straight cash for working 40 hours or received $1,000 worth of food and shelter and spending money for 140 hours of miscellaneous services provided, you would still divide the total dollar amount by 168. Why? Because we don’t pay rent or mortgage based only on the hours we spend under the roof of that shelter and we don’t pay for food based only on the hours we spend consuming it. Both the food and the shelter sustain us for all 24 hours of the day. To put this in perspective, you would never tell the bank that holds your mortgage or the landlord you send your rent check to, “Hey, I think it would be more fair if I just paid you for the hours I spend in this building.” They might reply, “This isn’t a hotel. You’re paying for the permission to store your belongings here even when you’re not and the ability to provide this address to the Post Office, etc.”

Also, because we are forced to give between six and nine hours back to God each night as sleep (talk about a survival tax!), we couldn’t work all 24 hours a day even if we wanted to. So your hourly wage is not really per hour and your salary pay is literallyper annum. Per annum means per year, so be sure to divide the total dollar amount of the value of everything you receive from anyone: If you are in school, include the value of all education that is being paid for by your parents if it’s being paid for by them and/or the dollar amount of any scholarships you are receiving and/or grants from the Government (all of which you are receiving in exchange for the amount of time you spend in class and studying) by the total number of hours in a year: 8,760.

This figure is the true monetary value of one hour of your time.

Neither Time nor Money has value if we do not also value our Autonomy. This is why, as children, we do not usually learn the value of time until we reach an age where we have some influence over where that time will be spent and on whom. Until then, time simply passes; this is why Freedom and the value of Time (and thus Money) are inextricably linked. God deposits 24 hours into everyone’s Time account as midnight. Some people trade 8 of them for cash, some people trade 10, some work all 24 hours, on-call even while they sleep (for example, some parents, especially the primary care-giver). Some choose to live off the grid, choosing a lower quality of life in order to have a higher quantity of time to be autonomous, such as homeless people.

Question: now that you know that time is the real international currency, how many hours per day are yours to spend however you desire? Take today, for example: how many hours did you spend doing what you wanted to do (being autonomous)?”

Time: the real international currency

A very high quality of life is often centered in having enough: enough time left over at the end of the month to spend being autonomous, and enough money to spend on doing awesome things and enjoying awesome people during that number of “free” hours. So rich might be great fun for some people and for others, it might amount to slightly better than slavery because they don’t have any time left over at the end of the day/month/year/lifetime to spend enjoying that money! And the homeless person who answers to no one may value their freedom so much, that having no permanent address feels like a fair price to pay. For most people, the ratio lies somewhere in between and the things that really make free time enjoyable, like our soulmate, good friends, a secure feeling of belonging to our unique niche in the community (like hanging out with other social justice activists or other knitters or other Magic: the gathering players, etc.) are what make life feel good and satisfying.

What would be the ideal ratio of unallocated hours (“free time”) and unallocated funds (“disposable income”) for you? What do you think it might be ten years from today? How about twenty years from day? And now, how about fifty years from today?

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The purpose of this post is to help you, the person reading this who has lost someone to suicide, feel empathy for the person who killed themselves which in turn induces the desire to forgive. Would it surprise you to hear that most of us lack empathy? It’s sympathy almost everyone has. When we have sympathy for another person, it’s because we would (or think we would) feel the same way they do if we were in their position.

Empathy is a whole other ball of yarn: when we empathize with another person, we have not been in their shoes, and we have almost no idea what it would be like (which is why Hallmark doesn’t make empathy cards for funerals). But because we’re human and the other person is human, and we know what that’s like (sometimes awful, sometimes awesome, usually somewhere in between), it is possible to ask ourselves a series of questions in order to induce the ability to emotionally relate to them despite being unable to relate to their experiences. So, they’re in pain. Have we been in pain before? Yes. For the same reason? No. But we know what pain is like, right? Yes.

It hurts.

Now, think of the worst pain you’ve ever been in, whether that was while enduring a migraine (physical pain) or betrayal (emotional pain). While you were enduring the pain, you very likely hurt someone that you loved using words as weapons, even though you had no intention to, and later apologized. When you explained, “I was in so much pain from my headache/back ache/sports injury/cramps that I could barely see straight,” the other person most likely nodded, in sympathy, and forgave you. Why? Because they’ve lived on earth for their entire life too and know what it is to experience the physical pain of a headache/back ache/sports injury/cramps. And if you lashed out because you were in emotional pain, no doubt they have experienced that too at some point in life, and could empathize with the pain of a bad breakup, betrayal, psychic attack, malicious gossip, physical attack, sexual attack, etc., etc. So when you apologized later, they accepted the apology.

When we are in a little pain (either emotional or physical), we are usually a little irritable. And when we are in excruciating pain, we are usually a lot irritable (think woman in labor making threats of imminent castration). Now imagine anguish — the torture of being unable to feel love at all. How irritable would you become? And now imagine that anguish lasting for years. Not hours of child birth or eight weeks in a hospital burn ward but years of despair that will not go away. How irritable would you become? And how long do you think it would be before that pain just literally broke you? How long before you stopped fighting it? Years? Decades?

Now think of this person you have lost and how angry you are that they could take for granted the value of their own life, how sad you are that they could leave you, how mad you are that they didn’t ask for help, how angry you are that they didn’t say why they did it, how bad you feel that you couldn’t prevent it, whatever combination of regret and anger and sadness you personally feel, and now go back to a time when you were in pain and hurt someone you love.

You couldn’t feel love at the moment you took the action that caused pain because you were in pain. And so was the suicidal person who eventually took their own life: they were in pain when they took an action that caused you (and the rest of their friends and family) pain, that’s whythey did it.

Now, ask yourself a question, please: Do I understand that this person I love was in pain when they committed suicide and that’s why they committed suicide?

If the answer is yes, then give the desire for their ability to feel Joy to God, in the form of a prayer. This may sound strange, but that’s all forgiveness is — a prayer. When we love someone, we desire their happiness (the ability to feel Love). When we forgive them, we desire their happiness anyway. To forgive a suicide, we ask, “God, please let me be healed of all pain and sadness and filled with Joy. And please let [the person who committed suicide] be healed of all pain and sadness and filled with Joy.” We request both our and the other person’s healing when we forgive.

God isLove and there is no punishment for those who take their own lives. Indeed, punishment would be redundant. There is no worse pain than the anguish of being unable to feel Love for prolonged periods of time with no hope of relief in sight.

For more on the link between physical and emotional pain, please read my CIPA post.

For the longer version of the forgiveness method, please visit my other website.

If you are suicidal, call 911 or go to an emergency room and ask to be admitted right now. Your life has intrinsic value. Your life matters. Forgive daily and get professional help right now.

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Who’s up in your 6th chakra, envisioning — through your third eye — your life? Hint: anyone in your life who doesn’t TOTALLY desire YOUR happiness, YOUR success, and the realization of YOUR dreams and goals. Who’s the first person that pops into your mind? Forgive that person right now. Otherwise their energy will stay stuck via the powerful glue of doubt, which allows their false images of you and false visions of your future to take root in the heart chakra and grow like ivy up into your 5th, 6th and 7th chakras where that doubt will influence your actions down in the 3rd, 2nd and 1st chakras.

Faith is the inverse of Doubt: people say that when you have faith, you believe in God. Not so. When you have faith it’s because you can feel God’s belief in YOU.

I believe in you, your guardian angel believes in you, and GOD believes in you and desires your happiness — no matter what you’ve done in the past, no matter what you’re doing right now, and no matter what you’re planning on doing in the future. You are loved anyway (and anyone who tells you otherwise is using shame as a tool of manipulation because they are filled with either greed for power, greed for money, or both). Remember, punishment is redundant. When we or other people take actions that cause others pain, it’s because we couldn’t feel Love — that’s why we or they hurt others in the first place; we were already in pain. There is no punishment worse than not being able to feel Love (Joy). People kill themselves to make that kind of pain stop — and if they are not submissive, they end up hurting and/or killing others (engaging in displays of dominance).

Like this:

Bullying is an element of the 5/3 Communication/Power chakra mirror, where our action or inaction down in the third chakra, relating to power and control, is a reflection of a blockage up in the 5th chakra, relating to communication and silence. An open heart causes an open 5th chakra, indicated by respect-based communication which is then reflected down in the third chakra as the Power of Service. In this space of love, we serve humanity by communicating our desire for other people’s happiness.

Another element of the 5/3 chakra mirror from an open heart is protesting injustice and objecting to abuse of power. Bullies use words as weapons to threaten and attack because they feel compelled to assert dominance and leverage control (a compulsion which is caused by a closed heart and the inability to feel love). Openhearted people use words as tools to serve with love. Bullies often stop just short of physical violence because they know that would be illegal, but will use words as weapons just as cruelly. Forgiving them each night and pre-forgiving them each morning is an excellent way to act as the conduit for the healing power of love. And, we would ideally follow the act of forgiving or pre-forgiving with our own courageous objection of any injustice bullies would attempt to perpetrate against us. The BEST action to take, when being bullied, is to take out your cell phone camera and begin to film the person. I encourage any member of our society who is being bullied, no matter how young, to speak up, to be brave, and to protest injustice. Film yourself saying to the bully, “Please, leave me alone. I am asking you directly, to please leave me alone.” Keep repeating this request, over and over and over and over.

Many of us were taught by our Boomer and Gen X-er parents to “just walk away,” and ironically they were actually teaching us to do exactly what the bullies want. And what is it they want? To know that they can simply say the word and phonetics alone will cause another human being to move! Think how much physical energy it would take to pick up and move another person. The bully effects this same outcome using only psychic energy, via psychic, emotional, and verbal attack.

Other tips for dealing with bullies are …

when in the presence of the bully, to request & receive love from the other person’s guardian angel and your own guardian angel

when in the presence of the bully, to give the forgiveness prayer silently (“Please, God, let me be healed of all pain and sadness and filled with Love, let ______ be healed of all pain and sadness and filled with Love, and please don’t let ______ hurt anyone else the way s/he’s hurting me by bullying me.”)

to join in prayer with the guardian angels of all bullies anywhere in the Universe for their healing and happiness (“God, I join in prayer with the guardian angels of all bullies at my school and anywhere else in the Universe for all of them to be healed of all pain and sadness and filled with Joy by the Power of your Love.”)

to pre-forgive each morning with the Circle of Angels (“God, I join in prayer with the Circle of Angels that perpetually surrounds the Earth and envelops it in a cocoon of divine love: please let everyone on Earth be healed of all pain and sadness and filled with JOY by the power of your Love!”)

Now you may be asking,

Why would we want to desire the happiness of someone who has hurt us instead of their punishment?

There’s a logical reason for forgiving (also defined as desiring another person’s happiness not because they have earned it with behavior that has earned it, but simply because they exist, that is to say, to love them the way that God does, for no reason) and that is that forgiving people heals them and fills them with God’s Love. And people who can feel God’s Love don’t hurt others. Why not? Because they no longer have any desire to. In this way, forgiving not only heals people, it causes the prevention of future pain of the same nature.

Finally, let’s remember here that people talk to others the way they have been spoken to, especially by their most dominant and most present authority figures, usually their parents, whose energy resides “up in” the 5th chakra of communication. In other words, the bully almost definitely has a bully parent. Imagine having to go home to that after school. It makes neglect sound like a day at the beach, no? (Okay, a cold day at an overcast beach ….) So after you forgive the bully, you might add a second prayer for the healing and happiness of the bully’s parents, who undoubtedly use words and weapons, and possibly even fists and weapons as weapons. Their kids are doing at school and in life what they learned at home.

Like this:

Fun with LogicThe reason the glass is half filled with one thing and half filled with another is because it’s not possible for an object to be half full. Full means 100% filled and half means 50%; we would not say “the glass is 50% 100% filled” because that doesn’t make sense. It’s also impossible for an object to be half empty. Empty means 100% unfilled. When we view life in black and white, in terms of all-or-nothing and either/or (such as half empty or half full), we are fulfilling the survival instinct’s compulsion to protect ourselves from Sadness, Shame, and Danger by labeling things or people accordingly. Then the survival instinct knows to protect us by either a) compelling us to avoid them (this protects us from Danger) and/or b) impelling us to feel a sense of superiority to them (this protects us from Shame and Sadness).

The above paragraph is from my book Chakra Mirror Math which is why I italicized the text.

I try as much as possible to look at life on Earth through the lens of wholeness and remind myself whenever I’m forgetting to and seeing the glass instead as half full or half empty that “I’m doing it again!” This way, when I get upset about the terrible injustices on Earth, I can view the glass of Life as half filled with opportunities to forgive and half filled with opportunities to perceive Joy. So when an event occurs which involves pain and suffering for myself or someone else, I try not to engage in black or white thinking (an element and symptom of the Divide and Conquer Method) by viewing that event as only an injustice or as only an opportunity to forgive; I try to see the event as both an injustice and an opportunity to forgive (and thus heal and thus prevent future pain of the same nature).

In an openhearted state of empathy (where we emotionally relate to someone even if we would probably not ever act or react they way they are which is different from sympathy where we emotionally relate to people only because we would do what they’re doing if we were in their shoes), we are aware that the reason for every action that causes another person pain is that the person who took that action could not feel love at the moment they took it.

Prove this to yourself: next time you have any kind of physical pain, whether it’s a headache or cramps or a sports injury, notice how you have a shorter temper with people, even people you adore. And then we turn around and apologize, saying, “Sorry I snapped at you — I have really bad cramps/shin splints/migraines/etc.” And the other person forgives, right away usually. And why? Because they know what it’s like to be in pain. And that it sucks. Emotional pain is the same: it profoundly influences the way we treat other people.

From a logic standpoint, a whole new light is shed on the concept of a “senseless tragedy.” No tragedy can be senseless, by definition, because when people cannot feel love, it is logical (it makes sense) that they take action accordingly, action that causes others to feel the same pain they were feeling when they took it.

So, the more horrifying people’s actions (Congress), the more pain they’re in. And the glass of that action is half filled with water (an opportunity to forgive) and half filled with air (a totally logical injustice).

Like this:

The chakra mirror math reveals the hidden 8th chakra. Your 7th chakra is mirrored by your 1st and 7 + 1 = 8. Your 6th chakra is mirrored by your 2nd and 6 + 2 = 8. Your 5th chakra is mirrored by your 3rd and 5 + 3 = 8. The Heart Chakra remains and 4 + 4 = 8. This secondary Heart Chakra is your soulmate’s Heart Chakra, and your degree of openheartedness is directly mirrored by that person’s. Your soulmate’s 4th chakra is your 8th chakra. This secret chakra is the chakra that you influence, and that influences you, no matter how near or far apart you and your soulmate may be on the physical plane. What this means is that even if you do not know the identity of this person, the act of love in your life is the gift of love to their life.

The text above comes from the blurb on the back of my book Chakra Mirror Math. Now, your first question might be, what is a chakra? Chakra means wheel in sanskrit, and what it is is an energy center, meaning energy of a specific nature concentrates itself in that chakra’s region of the auric field. Here’s the usual visual aid of the chakra system.

In truth, each of the seven chakras is a large orb that encircles the body. So rather than a visual aid like the one above or this one below, with the sanskrit symbols …

… think more along the lines of the Michelin Man (ha! I didn’t even search “meditating Michelin Man”!).

Except each orb would be the corresponding chakra’s color, and only 7 stacking orbs, and each one reaches as far as the perimeter of the auric field. If you stretch your arms above your head as far as they can go, you’ll reach the top perimeter, and if you stretch your arms out to the sides, you’ll reach the left and right perimeter of your auric field and the left and right perimeter of your 4th chakra (your heart chakra) at the same time. Now the 7th and 1st chakras (orbs) are the biggest. The 1st chakra starts at the base of the spine and goes all the way down to the ground, to the soles of your feet, and the 7th chakra starts at the forehead and goes up as high as you can reach. I may decide to draw my own illustration unless I can find a better one in google images.

An easy way to remember the topics of the seven chakras is, from the bottom going up, (1st) Money, (2nd) Sex, (3rd) Power, (4th) Love, (5th) Communication, (6th) Vision, (7th) Authority. The chakra mirror math shows us how each of these areas of Life on Earth – and their associated challenges and joys — actually reflect a challenge in another, corresponding, area of life.

*The 7/1 Mirror is the Authority/Survival Mirror but we could also call it the God (who is the ultimate authority)/Money (which helps us attain things necessary for survival) Mirror. So when we’re experiencing a money/survival challenge, it’s actually reflective of an Authority/God issue, and when we experience feelings of being undeserving or unworthy of existing (surviving), it’s reflective of feeling disconnected from God.

*The 6/2 Mirror is the Vision/(Pro-)Creativity Mirror so when we’re experiencing a block on ”getting clear” on our vision for the future, including setting clear goals and achieving them, it’s actually reflective of a creativity issue. The second chakra, which relates to our sexual feelings, desires, and experiences, is in turn reflective of the vision we hold of our identity and our future. Creative energy is sexual energy. Whether we’re channeling it into scrapbooking or baking cookies or engaging in casual hook-ups or making love with our soulmate and/or creating new life (procreating), we’re taking creative (or destructive) action which will influence the future, and our place in that future.

*The 5/3 Mirror is the Communication/Power Mirror and when the heart is open, we call it the Communication/Service Mirror because we serve from an open 4th chakra, to communicate Love. The act of forgiving is the essence of the 5/3 Mirror from an open heart because forgiveness is a prayer — communication to God — that transforms our very human body, the vessel for our soul, into a conduit for Divine Love that allows us to serve humanity, by loving them.

When we love someone, we desire their happiness (their ability to feel Joy). When we forgive someone, we love them anyway. We desire their happiness anyway. And the most effective way to get someone healed and back to that place of Joy (where they have no desire to hurt anyone else) is to give our desire for their happiness to God so God can use us as the conduit and return the favor! We ask God, “please let me be healed of all pain and sadness and let the other person be healed of all pain and sadness. Please don’t let ____ hurt anyone else in the same way they hurt me.” (Or, if we are forgiving someone for hurting someone else, “Please don’t let _____ hurt anyone else the way they hurt [whoever the somone else is.]“) You might try this the next time someone cuts you off on the road while driving. Or cuts someone else off on the road and almost causes an accident. Your physical body, via your heart chakra and physical heart, will become a conduit for God’s Love. The person you forgive is healed of any intentional desire to hurt others and any tendency to accidentally hurt others! Forgiving is the greatest act of love we will perform in our lifetime on Earth. It’s the most powerful service (3rd chakra) there is because it invokes love which heals pain and prevents future pain of the same nature, simply by asking God (communicating – 5th chakra) to fill the person we are forgiving with Love.

Now let’s touch on the 4/4 Mirror which we could call the Love/Forgiveness Mirror. Every time we forgive, our heart opens that much more and so does our soulmate’s. Additionally, the open heart causes the other chakras to open. So whenever we address an authority/money issue or a vision/creativity issue or a communication/power issue with Love — by forgiving — we lay the groundwork for taking resolution oriented action to solve the problem and (such awesome multitasking!) open our soulmate’s heart at the same time.

It all comes back to the heart. An issue may seem confined to one chakra but really, the issue was originally caused (and is perpetuated by) a closed fourth chakra. The chakra mirror math allows us to view and understand our entire etheric body, including the personality overlay comprised of geometric patterns, imprints, and wounds, which is part of the auric field, along with the chakras, in a detailed and holistic light.

The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. This means a pie isn’t just crust + fruit + sugar + butter + spices, it’s a delicious dessert that we have labeled pie because the whole is greater than simply the sum of the ingredients. And the chakra system is greater than a 1st, a 2nd, a 3rd, a 4th, a 5th, a 6th and a 7th chakra. It’s a holistic, interdependent, system — much like the organs in the digestive system or the excretory system or the cardiovascular system. What effects one organ will have an effect on the others in that system, and then, because all of the systems are in turn interrelated, eventually on organs in another system (on your soulmate).

For more info on the chakras, you might enjoy reading the first 44 pages of CMM free on my other site.

Like this:

Everyone has a soulmate and ideally this person isn’t only our other half, they are our other whole. In other words, they don’t need us to complete them and we don’t need them to feel complete. However, no matter how satisfied we are with the quality of our life, we’ll always feel that desire to love our soulmate.

Before we experienced Separation, when our souls were still merged with God in a state of blissful Oneness, we were experiencing ecstasy but we didn’t know it, couldn’t perceive it. God couldn’t allow us to perceive pleasure without also allowing us to perceive pain. This is because Separation from God allows us to feel everything — not just joy — and is the only way we could perceive anything, pleasurable or painful. And God wanted us to be able to perceive the very best thing of all: Oneness. When we were merged into Oneness with God in Heaven*, our soul had not yet separated from our soulmate’s soul. Therefore, Oneness with your soulmate is Oneness with God because the last time you experienced either was when you were experiencing both, before Separation. However, the only way we can ever perceive the depth of such bliss is through making love on Earth where Separation allows us to contrast the moment of Oneness with the moment of Separation before and after. To know that beauty, that incredible gift of being able to give one other human being a tangible reminder of what Heaven was, and is, here on Earth, during that reunion of souls, is the whole point of existing outside the cocoon of Oneness. The beauty of the merging of our soul with the other half of it, our soulmate’s soul, and the merge of that whole back into the heart of God, is to merge with all of creation, everywhere, to dissolve space and time boundaries and know the inspiration that drives the expansion of the entire Universe. To make love is to create love, and to create love is to know God.

This is because God is Love.

*Heaven is Oneness and could be defined as the inverse of a set of space and time coordinates because it is a state of existing without any Separation between the soul, its mate, and God at all; in other words, a total lack of space and time between.