April 6, 2016

Wayback...With Owl Jones

The Wayback Machine is one of those things that exists on the internet that is just dangerous enough to get you in trouble.

I'm going to push a minor boundary today and re-post an old OwlJones.com post from 2011 that I found on said Wayback Machine, during the apex of the "Fishertainment" era. Good ol' Owl hasn't authorized me to do so, so I suppose if his buddy "Rufus T." comes knocking at my door with a cease & desist and a toothless grin, I guess I've earned it. Oh, and then after the post, I've got another treat for you if you've got some serious time to burn...

One Simple Rule to Get More HitsJUNE 11, 2011

Let’s take a moment on this lovely Sat. morning to talk about stats. ( Oh BOY! ) It seems as though no matter how much time and effort I put into articles on videos, sentimental stuff, top 10 lists, blog news, camping, trip reports, wild trout, other bloggers, give-aways, etc. etc. etc. – the one simple rule you have to follow in order to boost your hits is this:

Make people angry.

Now, of course it’s not my intention to make people angry, but it happens (according to our stats data) any time I say something about Tenkara that isn’t 100% positive in nature. As a matter of fact, The Tenkara Scam is our #1 heavy hitter after the main (and ever-changing) homepage you’re reading right now. Tenkara people get REALLY angry if you don’t love tenkara with all your heart and soul. (Apparently, just “liking” it enough to fish with it 80% of the time isn’t good enough for these jokers).

So I was just thinking…maybe we should try that theory out on a few other things? I mean, after all – if it’s going to boost our readership around here by 10-20% each day wouldn’t it be worth it? I think so.

Let’s begin by making a list of upcoming topics that should really get things headed in the right direction:

Tenkara fishing has been linked to bad breath, bi-polar tendencies, and gingivitis.

Fishing with a fly rod that costs over $75 is for fools. Over $100 and you’re just down-right insane!

“Rock Snot” is a made up invasive designed to sell more wading boots.

People from North Carolina are mentally unstable and should be locked up for their own safety.

People from South Carolina aren’t much better.

There is no better fly fishing state in these United States than Alabama. They also have the best colleges.

Gravy, when eaten more than once a month, can cause pregnancy among women who also have sex.

Orvis gear makes you a better fisherman. Wearing twice as much as anyone else on the river brings you good luck.

Tenkara rods would be so much better if they were only 4.654 ft. long. And free.

Global warming is a man-made thing. And by thing, I mean…absurd and utterly false condition to scare the sheeple silly.

The air quality of the Great Smoky Mountain National Park in summer is awesome. ( Come on down. Bring your car.)

Bass fishing is for girly-men who can’t catch trout.

The big names in blogging all got there by sleeping their way to the top. With each other. Repeatedly.

Alright then, that should just about do it. I don’t know how I could tick off anymore folks than that. Seems to me that I’ve just about hit everything I can with that one post. So now, we’ll see just how well this works as the masses get their feathers ruffled and show up here in droves to tell me off. I can’t wait to see the stats page come Monday! Don’t let me down, now! Tell your friends! Owl’s lost his mind and you’ve got a ticket to the show!

Oh wait…

There we go. That just about does it I guess. Thanks for reading!

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Now to that treat, or perhaps terror...
If you'd prefer to listen rather than read...I was also surprised to find that these OwlJonesLive! gems are still out there: http://mixlr.com/owljoneslive/showreel/

I too miss those days. All of that was just (almost all of it) mostly nonsense. I love NC and people from there. Sure, they've lost their minds with regard to common sense and bathrooms, but other than that - I love it. As for the other stuff, any publicity is good publicity right? :) I just can't believe I left out a swipe or two at TU. :)