High school graduations have once again made spring an optimistic time across Cape Ann and around the North Shore.

In nearly every community, we are treated to a sea of cap-and-gown clad seniors, valedictory speeches that are at once soaring, hopeful and humorous, and smiles of unfiltered joy from young men and women who walk across the stage to accept their diplomas.

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First off let me say that calling a black person a nigger if you don’t know them and know that they would take offense to it is of course wrong. I’ve greeted one of my closest friends, a black man that was an usher in my wedding and I in his and had traveled around the country extensively "My Nigger" as a greeting and we would laugh but you would have to be stupid to say it to someone you don’t know would take offense to it. When I greet my black friend "My nigger" it is honestly meant as a term of endearment.

That being said, I think the reason that the PC police is running amok is because so many small businesses have been squashed out of existence and so many more people work for "the man" whether it be the huge government, or a large corporation, or a school system, or the military, or a super large company with human resource departments and all. So when something like a woman creating a huge ruckus over the term midget gets brought up, the only people you hear from are the politically correct crowd because the people who might know it’s silly don’t want to lift up their heads and speak out because they are afraid that it might cost them their job.

So these PC police, just like the feminazis and the eco terrorists are really the bullies in my opinion, suppressing people through fear and intimidation.

Midget in the dictionary – midg·et [mij-it] Show IPA noun 1. (not in technical use) an extremely small person having normal physical proportions. 2. any animal or thing that is very small for its kind. adjective 3. very small or of a class below the usual size. 4. being a miniature replica or model. Origin: 1850–55; midge + -et

Related forms midg·et·ism, noun

Synonyms 1. See dwarf.

No where in the dictionary do they mention it as a negative connotation. When we grew up there was never a negative connotation associated with it. A small person that was under 4 feet tall when they got older was a midget.

But now you have the PC police striking fear into pickle companies because the PC police goes on a power trip and a classic staple in every household, the midget pickle gets renamed only because it is easier to just change the name that face the PC backlash. Because in the board room at Vlasic Pickles you have a bunch of people sitting around and the subject comes up-

Corporate guy leading the meeting at Vlasic- “We got this lady who is upset because suddenly what we’ve been calling all these years, the Midget Pickle she finds offensive to her midget child.” Then they say ”How do you all feel about this?”

And it’s at that very point where all the decision makers in the room’s assholes pucker up in fear.

Because they know as silly as it sounds to change the name of the classic midget pickle after decades of pumping out gazillions of jars of midget pickles, that not one of them is gonna go on record as to saying that they should just keep on with the classic midget pickle brand name that they’ve always had and never intended to be a slight because they don’t want it on record when the PC police make an even bigger stink about it as being their idea, voiced in that room, to keep the name the same.

So Vlasic issues a statement saying they will change the name, lose the brand that they’ve built up for years, burn all the packaging that they’ve already contracted out and paid for which was printed with the name “midget pickles” because some broad had a hair across her ass and some more of her PC buddies had a hair across their ass and they picked up momentum and what media outlet doesn’t like to report on the absurdities of these PC police and the conflicts that they create, and there you have it. No more classic midget pickles for Vlasic.

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So we’re in the car on the way to Friendlies last night and Snoop Maddie Mad brings up the subject of Leprechauns. She asks if I ever saw a Leprechaun to which I replied- why yes I had. Just last week in Playa Del Carmen they had this Mexican Midget dressed up like a leprechaun who was paid to corral patrons into the bar.

I was immediately interrupted by someone I may or may not be related to through marriage telling me that I shouldn’t say that word. To which I replied, “When did it become inappropriate to say Leprechaun?”

I was informed that we don’t call Midgets Midgets any longer, they are called “little people” Wait, what?

When did the term Midget become a bad word? Like when we grew up didn’t we always call midgets midgets?

I seriously never knew it was considered a slight to call a midget a midget. Does a midget not know they are a midget any more? Do they look in the mirror and not know they are a midget? Or is it just the word midget recently become taboo or something. If I’ve ever offended a midget in the past by calling them a midget and they considered it a bad term I guess I’d apologize but don’t you think it’s a much more accurate term for a small person that grows old but stays really short?

Calling someone a little person isn’t really all that descriptive is it? For example my Snoop Maddie Mad is a little person but she’s not a midget (at least not that I can tell yet). So that “little people” description is far less descriptive than the word midget because there’s no mistaking what you’re talking about when you use the word midget, right?

Is the term Midget off the table nowadays and if so is this a new development?

People in everyday life acting as if they were running for office or were in some corporate job 24/7 campaigning for a raise. Everything is supposed to be vanilla, no one is supposed to raise their voice, we’ve literally handcuffed the poor teachers from disciplining students, everyone gets a trophy, eliminating MVP awards to not make anyone feel inferior.

For Christs sake when does it end? Are we creating a nation of weak, dry, humorless politically correct robots?

What would our Grandfathers say about all this? Probably just shake their heads in disgust.

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As long as supplies last if any GMG folks want a bumper sticker but can't drop down the dock, just send a self addressed and stamped envelope longer then 7 and a half inches and I'll drop one in the mail for you.

Send the self addressed and stamped envelope to the dock at 95 East Main St Gloucester Ma 01930 care of Joey (put my name in big letters to make sure it gets to me)

Free GMG Gloucester Sticker

As long as supplies last if any GMG folks want a bumper sticker but can't drop down the dock, just send a self addressed and stamped envelope longer then 7 and a half inches and I'll drop one in the mail for you.

Send the self addressed and stamped envelope to the dock at 95 East Main St Gloucester Ma 01930 care of Joey (put my name in big letters to make sure it gets to me)