I also don't come from a small town where everyone knows each other. I come from a very large city in my state. I've known male Ashley's, Brittney's, Whitney's (and he is very awesome with his dreads and whatnot), Shannon's etc. And none of them care at all about their names. Ashley, like I said, has grown up with other boys named things like Jaydence and Jamolly just as much as boys named Richard and William or any number of ethnic names.

As redwoodfey said, the problems any of these men have with their names come more from the adults in their lives, or in the case of the older men, the other adults around them saying "but that's a girl name". I've never once seen or heard any of them bullied by the younger people. It's a different world now and if you think your community can handle it, go for it!

I'm also done to death with the train of thought that boys with effeminate names will struggle all their lives, but girls with masculine names will succeed; girls "stealing" the boys names, and the names then becoming tainted and unusable by boys because :shockgasphorror: people will think he's a girl! People, this is coming from us, not from our children. Yes, if we continue to follow these antiquated beliefs about gender roles, they will continue. If we stop passing on this nonsense, eventually the tide will change. Not for our generation, maybe not even our children's generation. But their children? Yes. They may just live in a much more tolerant world than we do.

I'm just going to go ahead and take the bait to make this quite controversial. Research shows (look up Figlio) that boys with names that are viewed as effeminate have higher rates of disruptive behavior even at young ages. So, I'm going to disagree... We do live in a culture with male and female names... while this may change, breaking accepted social taboos can lead to sanctions. For example, having a "wrong-gender" name can be viewed as low class... I once saw potential employers at a job fair for an Ivy League school making fun of a girl for having a traditionally masculine name (which they viewed as being low class). I have a first name and maiden name which were both hyper feminine (and therefore viewed as "stripper names"... something which didn't come up until I was an adult). I think parents should really careful weigh the potential ramifications in our society... our real society, not the one which you may WISH we live in. Names signal socioeconomic class, gender, and other characteristics... that's something to think about before you name a child. While I completely agree with adults having the dialogue on gender and such, I would never want to force that upon my child...

INTP Anthropologist Living in the centre of China, married to a Persian, and just enjoying a completely unpredictable life

I'm just going to go ahead and take the bait to make this quite controversial. Research shows (look up Figlio) that boys with names that are viewed as effeminate have higher rates of disruptive behavior even at young ages. So, I'm going to disagree... We do live in a culture with male and female names... while this may change, breaking accepted social taboos can lead to sanctions. For example, having a "wrong-gender" name can be viewed as low class... I once saw potential employers at a job fair for an Ivy League school making fun of a girl for having a traditionally masculine name (which they viewed as being low class). I have a first name and maiden name which were both hyper feminine (and therefore viewed as "stripper names"... something which didn't come up until I was an adult). I think parents should really careful weigh the potential ramifications in our society... our real society, not the one which you may WISH we live in. Names signal socioeconomic class, gender, and other characteristics... that's something to think about before you name a child. While I completely agree with adults having the dialogue on gender and such, I would never want to force that upon my child...

Figlio states:

"Despite the fact I find very strong evidence that names have consequences for kids, I think parents should give their kids the names that they love. [They should] just be prepared to advocate for their kids. Stand up to the people who are treating them differently and make sure their kids know that their name is wonderful and special."

It is not the child nor the name, it is the teachers and administrators. Adults are the problem.
If a teacher is telling straight A Arabella that she should go into fashion design while Jane is encouraged to major in biology, then Arabella's parents need to call out that teacher. If Ashley is getting detention for frivolous things while Andrew is getting a pass for the same behavior, then Ashley's parents need to march down to the school and demand answers. Whether it be name, skin color, SES, or whatever else Figlio says that parents have to step up and not let anyone mistreat their child.

This. And it's a name I much prefer on a boy, especially in this spelling. I only ever knew three girls by this name, one Ashley and two Ashleigh, while all the boys I know are Ashley. Some go by the full name and others by Ash, but I still see it as a very handsome name on a boy.

I asked this question a few months ago too. I was seriously considering the name for my son and I still would like to use it (either as a first or middle name). However I thought it through and decided that while people get bullied for more things then just the name alone, if my son turns out to be quiet and awkward it certainly won't help him against bullies who already see him as a target. I just think its too risky because you don't know what kind of person your son is going to turn out to be. And yes there is the nickname Ash but eventually someone will find out what his real name is.....I just think its too risky for a first name (at least in NorthAmerica, if I lived in the UK I wouldnt even think about it). I still have it on my middle name list but that's as far as I will go with Ashley....
Its a shame too as it is such a fantastic name! I can't see any thing feminine about it. Im having the same problem with another boys name I like: Nikita, however that one I'm not giving up.

I think eventually it will come back as a name for boys....just not right now. Its too soon. Maybe in 30-50 years.
For now keep it on the GP list.

Love, Claire~~Fiancee to Robert "Theo” Theodore ~~Mama to Lucius "Loki"