Shady advice from a raging bitch who has no business answering any of these questions.

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On coachella baggage.

my ladies are bringing the fun (mollys, mushrooms, acid etc) to coachella next week, but out of respect for my BF of 3 years (who is completely drug-free/isn’t comfortable being around a fucked up-me), i will not be partaking in the altered good times. question is – how do i NOT let my jealousy/desire to be superfuckedup sabotage my own fun?

Your boyfriend is the one sabotaging the fun. Who the fuck goes to Coachella drug free? Seriously, that weekend is the closest thing we godless heathens have to a religious experience.

Ingesting psychotropics during a springtime music festival is a fucking sacrament, and your boyfriend would do well to back the fuck off and let you get a little shamanistic.

Let me guess, he’s one of those Heineken swilling douchebags who’ll repeatedly drag you to the beer gardens to drink piss-water out of a plastic cup all the while passing judgment on anybody who’d rather be high than drunk. Fuck that.

Tell him you prefer to expand your mind rather than dull your wits. If he’s got a problem with it, tell him to stay home. Nobody wants his type there anyways.