How to react when someone insults you? Dealing with Rude People – Personality Development Tips

Hi, this is Ceema, welcome back to Skillopedia,
the place to learn skills for the real world. Well, today we are going to talk about insults
and how we can respond to them.an insult is nothing but when someone speaks to you or
treats you with disrespect. Have you ever been at the receiving end of an insult? That’s
not a very pleasant thing, is it? Well, what do you do when you are insulted? Do you insult
the person straight back? Or do you break down and cry? Or do you simply leave the place
and avoid the person who has insulted you altogether? Well, today’s lesson is going
to teach you about how you can respond effectively to people who insult you or make fun of you. Now it is very clear that people who insult
you are negative people, right? But why do you think they actually insult you? Now there
are 4 main reasons why someone would probably insult you. The first reason is insecurity.
Now there are some people who are insecure. They don’t feel good themselves and because
they don’t feel good about themselves, they feel the need to control and they can only
gain this need to control by putting other people down. So insecure people will always
end up insulting you or make rude comments at you. Say, for example, you have a sibling
who is insecure about how she looks. She might end up you know insulting you about the way
you look or about the way you dress or simply about the way you score at school. The second reason why someone would mock you
or insult you is because they are jealous of you. That’s right, jealousy is a very
important motive for someone to mock you or ridicule you. People who are jealous feel
that they are not getting enough credit for what they are doing and that is why they wanna
put you down. So say for example, if you have a coworker but your boss likes you better
than your coworker, your coworker might end up making fun of the way you dress. He might
make fun of the way you have given your presentation. He’s just plain jealous of you and that’s
why he insults you. The third point or the third reason why people
would insult you is because they don’t really have a proper understanding of a person’s
disability. Now a lot of times, people are not aware of how their comments affect people
because they don’t know that the person they are directing these comments to, actually
have a genuine problem. So say, for example, there is a kid in school who’s actually got
speech difficulties. He probably stammers or stutters. He’s got a genuine problem
but maybe his schoolmates or his classmates don’t really get that. They don’t really understand
that.so they might make fun of him without really understanding how it affects him. well,
the final or the last point, why someone would possibly insult you is because they are fond
of you and they want to playfully tease you.so this is not really insulting in a very negative
way but some people, they like you a lot and they think that teasing you a little bit is
kind of very cool. They love doing that because they are fond of you. So maybe you have a
cousin who keeps calling you a little chubby because you are on the heavier side but she
does not mean to be rude. But maybe her insults or her comments could hurt you a little bit
but what she is actually indulging in is just playful teasing. Well, now we’re going to talk about, what
you can actually do or how you can actually respond to insults. Now responding to an insult
is much better than reacting to it. So the first thing you’ve got to remember when you
are faced with an insult is to stay calm. Now as we’ve learnt that people who insult
are people who are probably insecure. They love to control. They are very controlling
people, right? So they want to ensure that you get angry or you just maybe break down
and cry but you are not going to give them, the satisfaction of that kind of reaction,
right? So, before you even respond to what they have to say, ensure that you take several
deep breaths, stay calm so that you are composed enough to give a very effective reply to what
they have to say. It is also very important to tell the person
who is insulting you, how you exactly feel. Yes, even though you are to stay calm, it
is your duty to ensure that the person who is insulting you or mocking you knows what
you are going through. So, you can also tell them that if what they’re doing is illegal,
it can have unforeseen or unpleasant circumstances for them. say for example, if you have a coworker
who is bullying you over the internet, you can actually tell them that if you report
them, it’s going to have very bad consequences for them or maybe if you have a cousin who
keeps making rude comments at you, you can simply tell them, that you are not very happy
about what they’re saying and whatever they’re saying is going to actually affect your relationship
with them. So when you are faced with an insult, it is important that you tell the person who
is insulting you, what you actually feel. The third point to note when responding to
an insult is to ensure that you ignore the insults completely. Now let me tell you, ignoring
an insult is sometimes the wisest and the best thing to do. Why would you ignore an
insult and not respond to it? Well, you can ignore an insult simply because you wanna
ensure that the person who has insulted you should not feel that they’ve affected you
in any way. So when you actually ignore the insult, you’re telling the person that, look
I’m not affected by it. Okay now, how would you ignore an insult? You can ignore an insult
by changing the topic of conversation and talking about something entirely unrelated
or you could just walk away from the place that you are having this conversation with
or this person. So you could leave the room, you could leave the place that you are being
insulted or spoken rudely at. So say, for example, you’re at work and your coworker
makes fun about the way you present a particular topic. So, you don’t feel very good about
it but you want to ignore it. So you will simply walk out of the room or talk about,
you know a different project altogether which is not even related to the one that you have
worked upon right now. So, ignoring an insult is one of the wisest things to do. Another very interesting way of responding
to an insult is by using humour. You’re right; humour is probably the best defense
mechanism when you have to attack an insult. Now how do you do this? Now when someone’s
making a joke at you, you can try using that person’s joke and using that joke, you actually
put the joke back at them. But of course, you’ve got to do it in a very nice light-hearted
way which ensures that they don’t feel offended and at the same time it makes the atmosphere
very easy and not so very tense. So say for example, if a colleague or a co-worker makes
fun of the fact that you walk in to work late every day. They call you, miss late or miss
tardy. What you can actually do is you can say that yes, I do come late but I’m actually
learning to come late from you. I see you walking in late every day as well. So you’re
actually taking the insult but you’re kind of directing the joke back at them. So you’ve
got ensure that when you’re actually doing that, you’ve got to be very you know natural
in tone. You don’t have to raise your voice in order to ensure that they don’t get as
offended as you’ve probably gotten when they’ve made the insult of the remark at you. The next thing you need to know is that you
have to sometimes also, report insults. Now let me tell you if insults are based or related
to gender, sexuality, religion or disability, it is against the law. The person who is actually
doing that is not doing a very lawful thing and it is your right as the victim to actually
report these kinds of acts. Now at school or at work, you have anti-harassment departments
which actually would listen to your plight and would do the right thing in order to ensure
that you don’t have to face the insults ever again. Doing good things for yourself will always
help you feel good and therefore it is my advice to always indulge in self-care. So
if you are being mocked or insulted or spoken rudely to on a continual basis. If you actually
do some little good things for yourself, you can feel very good from the inside. It could
be anything. You can go for a quiet walk. You could go and get yourself a nice haircut.
You could go to the spa; you could just work out if that helps you feel better. Anything
in order to ensure that you feel good about yourself. So please, please indulge in self-care
because not everyone will make you feel good, you’ve gotta do that for yourself. Well, people are always going to put you down
but it’s up to you, to actually bring yourself up and stay strong. So it is important that
you write a journal. When you write a journal, you can actually document or make a list of
things that you actually like about yourself. So this is a list of things that you like
about you. So it could be things that relate to your strengths. It could be things that
relate to what you’ve achieved over the number of years or it could simply be anything that
tells you that you are just a very beautiful person. well, I hope you found this lesson very useful
and very insightful about what you can do when you are insulted.so now you know what
you can do and what you must not do when you are insulted or in a situation where you feel
mocked or ridiculed. For more such sessions, do not forget to subscribe to Skillopedia,
the place to learn skills for the real world.

I am a quite girl in class and I never have responded people who have insulted me.My friend blamed me that I stole her book….I was like 'what'? And when I told her to go to principle office and see the CCTV footage, she was like I will go by myself but she didn't check it. Now she's telling everyone that I stole her book

They didn't really insult me but they were being really rude. Basically, my friend keeps sending me chain mail and I just send it to my Snapchat list and it included the person who was being rude. We weren't really "friends" but we're also not enemies. So I sent them that and it was meant for best friends and I didn't really read it, I just sent it and she said "1st off, you are not my best friend, you're just a girl who was in my 4th and 5th period class. 2nd off, stop sending me chain mail." She keeps sending me chain mail too? Why can't I? And then she said "we were cool but now we're just strangers, WERE!" I was being polite…all I said was "oh sorry" and she got mad? I'm confused

I have lice in my hair and my girl classmates really insult me because of it. What should I do? I can't even say something to them because I'm scared that they will say loudly that I have lice in my hair in front of whole class.. I'm very upset please help me!!!!! SAVE ME

I have a question that is related to this video, I know someone who mocks my accent and do very poorly the accent they are not even trying and she is Korean not French, and I’m French and that is kind of offensive and I’m starting to think that she is insured about herself or she is jealousies that she is not French, how can I say to her polietly that this disturbed me? Maybe she just thing teasing is cool, although I don’t like treasin, I’m not a baby anymore.

Hlo I was mocked mostly for my weakness…that I feel insecure about so I was reacting to it….but once I accepted myself….I replied them "yes iam…so what's your problem…do u feel insecure….?"and I also don't get anything personally because universal truth is they aren't perfect too…..so I admit nobody is perfect here….but if u ignore they keep repeating it again….there are some variety of insulting people…. sometimes humour can be helpful….but it fails for me mostly… hehe…learn not to insult anybody with their weakness…..at the same time…

But some people are honestly just inconsiderate or judgemental AHs or people that feel they are above you or others in some way. You left that option out. It's real. I encountered it several times from a person over the weekend and I know this person is none of the things listed…just rude and judgemental about everything from my job to my personal appearance to my level if finacial success in life and even where I live. I did ignore it but if felt all wrong all the way around and I really disliked it….alot….Have not encountered anything like it in years. My husband is a humor guy…I'm an ignore person until it goes to far which doesn't take much really, lol, I mean I don't need to put up with any insults, ever, then I begin to either sling back a bit to see if that ends it or cut the person out of my life completely…even if they are extended family. Bey.

Unfortunately I deal with idiots everyday on my job people always saying this and that about me only thing I do is mind my business I don't talk to people very much and you wouldn't believe all the stupid questions people ask me I'm like why would you think to even ask that I just can't take it no more !!!

I'm a new joiner in a company.. The way im treated good my co worker is jealous n told my trainer not to treat me good because she was not treated good so she told my trainer that she is angry the way I'm treated in office and is not acceptable and taught my trainer that i should also be treated the same as my co worker was treated

Hey, I have a so-called cousin whose also my boss called me physically challenged last month, due to the fact that I'm slower than the others – also she told me, when I was younger she taught I was stupid , yes … indeed I was a slow child growing up, I was even diagnosed as having cerebral palsy at birth ( that's the level of behavioural qualities that I once had ), also I was developmentally delayed, but thanks to God I'm grown now, but unfortunately there's still visible signs of my birth defect ( vision issues, can't work too fast, I have terrible balance issues, can't stand for too long, ….. among others ), however my speech and brain function haven't being damaged to the extent that my immune system has ( I believe ), … long story short, everyone who I come into contact with has advised me to ignore, move on and forget it – I'm also a highly sensitive person who cannot do that very easily, it occurred a month now, and for me, like it happened yesterday – I know you gave suggestions but what'd to you suggest for someone like me. Thanks for the feedback and upload.

P.S. Was developmentally delayed at birth, had a severe speech impediment I was told, and much more – but now I don't allow anyone to call me was I once was.

my problem is that my teacher is always angry at me but i didn’t do anything wrong and it really annoys me, i dunno what to do anymore. I can’t choose if im gonna transfer another school or just ignore it.It really bothers me alot knowing someone is hella angry at you

unfortunately i been insulted at work and all i did was ignore then and just keeps coming more and more. it doesnt work at all . i also had times i told them to stop the harassment and how it has consquences . its doesnt work since they are at higher role postion than i am. its a power trip thing. the best is quit job or from my experience use witty banter back

If the person insult me infront of people,,Ill show them a smile😊And ill react them… So what ?what? And ill tell dont me !! Maybe and you are????? Thats my reaction and 😂😂 i dont care f the person insult me cause i know myself being me.

Today I was at the mall and this girl that knew the two girls I was with said:"oh, i don't know you…oh wait your that girl from(i don't remember what she said)" and then she said loud enough for everyone to hear " Talk! Why don't you talk?" I wanted to say something,but someone changed the subject and i was so angry. I wanted to say to her ' Who are you to tell what yo do' because she totally commanded me to talk like i was a dog.

My mother told my aunty that I got transferred to a new school(a good school)….that aunt was mocking my mother by making faces.she was actually looking at her own daughter with an evil smile.And my cousin was doing the same.bloody bitches….

"What you do not react to cannot drag you down in a futile engagement. Your pride is not involved. The best lesson you can teach an irritating gnat is to consign it to oblivion by ignoring it. If it is impossible to ignore, then conspire in secret to do away with it, but never inadvertently draw attention to the bothersome insect that will go away or die on its own." — The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene

lol todays hummor. was in the kitchen. the person wanted to work my station, ok.. she didnt notice it get really hard. it took 2 others to help that station….and made a smart remark mark, i guess i screw up at least a couple time everytime i work this station….i said. at least you are consistent….

I'm glad I learned about the topic change technique, although I wanted to vent, something more considerate than me made sure to uplift a possible negative situation into a light hearted one, and I only realize it now. The things we do not understand in a life perceived as "isolated" can be improved upon indeed. And differentiating the wilderness of free will and relationships takes trial and error, I'm grateful to be far enough in years to desire what I should cut out persoanlly from my behaviors as they did not benefit those around me and appreicate the content which is as well thought out such as this to be better naturally and without imposing on theirs as well, everyone has their unkowning phase before true accountibility and resposibility I suppose, and I can learn to anticpate and work around it and maintain my life's focus. Thank you dearly.

After I expressed that I was hurt over the rudeness and disrespect it got worse: then she began to lie: of course she had to have the last word which I ignored, it was totally bizarre. I think that individual has a mental issue: she persuaded someone important to me of something insane and unfounded, finally I had to step away from everything as this is a very unstable, insecure individual. Yes I did a nice thing for myself so I didn’t feel so angry 😤,

There was this one time, my classmate had insulted me for being too smart, and I told him have you tried studying, he replied studying is for losers.I replied so that means in future you will be a bigger loser for not getting better grades than me.

Thank you for the good advice. I am a victim at work because I am highly successful at work. I've solved work related issues that many of my colleagues failed at. I don't own a house and I know that colleges prompt me all the time to buy a house , knowing that I am not ready yet. This I have realised so far as they are ' throwing sand in my face ' . I become very depressed . There's only two of my colleagues that lookout for me and show me affordable houses that I can buy and I know that they are honest. I've realised that those who try to depress me , have health issues whereas I am very fit for my age and work.I am a talented musician also , self taught since 1985 since I was in primary school and they have even picked out on that negatively . I am currently renting and my wife is unemployed. It's difficult for me to buy a house here in South Africa . However I am very successful at work and well hated for that , jealousy changes to hatred. I am confident that I will get lucky and will get a house for myself. These people that insult us , even subtly are TOXIC PEOPLE.

Achieve BIG things in your life . That will build your self esteem so high that little insults won't even bother you. When someone insults you to intentionally hurt you , you must respond assertively based on facts and logic. Never hesitate to reject insults and snap ties with people who bring negativity.

I have a lot of negativity in my mind but one thought/ memory that is really recent is I was watching episode 7 of open heart saying my thoughts out loud and my stem mother told me I need to learn to keep my thoughts in my head. After finishing the episode,I still had positive thoughts about the show the following day. But now she had turned me off of it almost completely.

I have been mocked by a girl with her boyfriend (both stranger) at a tea stall. I didn't notice them initially but later I have realized, that girl said something to her boyfriend about me and giggled. I thought might be she is laughing at my clothes or face. I never insult any people in any way. What should I understand out of it.

Every time someone insults me, I know that he/she is jealous of me because I have something beautiful he/she doesn't have! So those people who only know insulting people, go away and know that ur insults are only going to make us more proud of ourselves😊