Meet the PickleVator™! It's an elevator for your pickles! Inside every jar of pickles is a yellow basket. The bottom is as wide as the jar and the rim of the basket comes up about half an inch. From there the basket extends as a thin pole at the top of which is a small handle. It looks like this:

Grasping the the basket's handle firmly, lift until the pickles are brought to the top of the jar. No mess, no potential disaster, and best of all--no bothersome trips to the silverware drawer for a fork!

The PickleVator™ is so inventive, it has been recognized across the United States and Canada! In 2000 it won the Clear Choice Award for best packaged food.

But don't take my word for it! See the glory yourself at deanpickle.com

It was at this low point in my pickley life that I ran across this node on Everything2 using my FutureCastTMtelevisioninvention that allowed me to see things in the past that I would encounter in the future. I thought to myself, "Whoa, a picklevator is an interesting concept for a rapidly deteriorating cucumber!"

So I bobbed around until I found two sturdy stems and jabbed them into my squishy body. I decided to randomly call these things "arms". Them I felt around and found two larger stems and attached them to my lower half and randomly called these things "legs". It turned out I was lucky with my naming convention because at the time I only spoke cucumberlanguage, which consisted of a single word: "GROW!"

Eventually, this node helped me to become a prolificwriter and noder on Everything2 and to develop friendships with a lot of awesome folks who only give me upvotes and chings. Those folks are the best in the universe and I wish them all of the wonderfulness that the pickle deities and human deities can provide.