Los Angeles has named a new high school of environment science after former vice president Al Gore and author/activist Rachel Carson. And what better way to honor the two great environmentalists than by building the school on a contaminated site?

The Carson-Gore Academy of Environmental Sciences—due to open in a week, on September 13—sounds like a great place for the leaders of tomorrow to begin learning more about the world around them. And they can start by learning about how the place where their school is built is "terribly contaminated," according to environmental activists, thanks to "toxic soil" containing "more than a dozen underground storage tanks serving light industrial businesses." Um, and, "the underground tanks of an adjacent gas station." Yes, they will certainly learn about those things, as long as they don't die.

Don't sweat it, though! The L.A. Unified School District is promising parents that the school will be safe by opening day, and they've been replacing the toxic soil ("enough to hold a four-story building") with fresh, healthy soil from elsewhere. It only cost four million dollars!

Oh, and also, "an oil well operates across the street," but, again, "officials said they've found no associated risks." Except for the risk that students will grow up with a highly-developed sense of irony!