Hello Kitty Darth Vader

You’re excited for Halloween because you have decided to go out as Darth Vader. You can’t wait for your friends to see your awesome costume. Then mom says that you have to take your little sister with you. You can’t believe your rotten luck. Having your little sister tagging along is going to ruin everything. You think that it is the worst thing that could ever happen to you. That is until you see your little sister’s costume:

It’s that time of the week again to self inflict massive amounts of pain to your brain by looking at the Hello Kitty crap that didn’t make the front page. This email I received sums it up pretty well:

This site freaking proves how deadly and dangerous a place the internets really is. One minute I’m pretending to work while searching guitars on google and everything is great the world is a happy place for me. About 3 clicks and 2 minutes later I’m in “WTF” HelloKittyHell?!!? (The sad part is, I’ve been here like 2 hours looking at hello kitty vibrators and handguns!) — Kelly

And just to make the week all the more Hellish, I now have readers whining for Hello Kitty crap from me (which I would obviously already be giving away if the consequences from my wife weren’t so severe)

I was the winner of the Hello Kitty optical mousepad (which I am enjoying, by the way), and I have a sad story. For Christmas, my boyfriend, whom I live with, promised to get me the Build-A-Bear Hello Kitty doll. Instead, he got me nothing. Not a flower. Not a card. Nothin’. Zip. Zilch. He said he “didn’t have time.” This has made me incredibly sad and has RUINED my holiday (especially since I knitted everyone in his WHOLE family personalized scarves, AND got him plenty of Christmas gifts). I feel an injustice has been done to me.

I am aware of you and your lovely wife’s recent return to the US. Welcome back. If you feel obliged to send any of your wife’s extraneous Hello Kitty dolls my way, no matter how small, you would make a Georgia girl’s holiday happy again! I know this request may sound pathetic, but I am feeling despondent and, quite frankly, heartbroken. I wanted a Hello Kitty gift this year, and was severely let down. — Rebecca

Believe me, if you have to rely on someone living in Hello Kitty Hell to rescue you from being despondent because you didn’t get the Hello Kitty crap you wanted for Christmas, you’re going to be despondent for a long, long time…

This is why you never want to have a daughter with a Hello Kitty fanatic. When it comes time to give a gift to your daughter, somehow it will get rationalized that a full size custom Hello Kitty Darth Vader model head would be a good idea: