Hello everybody,
Welcome on my blog of funny short stories !
My name is Perky Busy Bee , but everybody calls me Perky for short.
Every week I post a story to change your mind off things, make you crack a smile and look on the bright side !
Need to get in touch or comment ?
perkybusybee@gmail.com

vendredi 11 août 2017

First off, let me introduce myself.My name is Canaille, I am an English Springer Spaniel, a sweet, cheerful and lively breed.

Here in France, Summer is in full swing, and to make the most of it, Perky, this blog's owner and my Mum, as well, has asked me to do the job and blog for her.

Last week I told you how my poor Perky fell off the wagon and let her sweet cravings (but not mine) rule the roost.

It's no big deal, cause she is used to, but better keep it under your hat !

Anyway, after appearing before pitiless weighing scales, to make amends she screwed up her courage and joined a gym.

(hey, nosy you !)

Lousy idea, isn't it ? To be honest, I was not really keen on it. First, because Perky is as stiff as a poker, and can't even bite her toes, which for me is a cakewalk !

Then, far more important, I guess she's fallen for a scam. Yes, guys, a scam !

Listen, the gym she goes to is not dog-frienly ! Don't you smell a rat ? I still can't believe my floppy ears !

But, you know, sometimes Perky is short-sighted, gung-ho, and ...I love her to bits !

Anyway, I do think that if you've got a dog, especially a jolly fellow like me, exercising is just a pushover.

So, I would appreciate if you could drop a mail in Perky's inbox* to praise all the benefits of working out with me instead of sweating out with other health nuts on fancy machines !

Here are a few hints to pepper your mails with, cause Perky can be pig-headed and then convincing her is a long shot ...

As reliable and enthusiastic trainers, four-pawed buddies are second to none.

No kidding ! Why pour money down the drain when your furry babies are ready to help you get in shape ?

So, forget ritzy gyms and costly sport outfit, and team with you dog !

Don' t have any ' fitness ' dog at home ?

Oh, I'm pawfully sorry for you, but, never mind, quite sure you can volunteer at the local rescue to take adoptable doggies for much needed walks and runs . I bet it'll be a 'pawsitive ' experience !

Another snappy argument in your " sales pitch " ?

Balls, frisbees and treats are way cheaper than any gym membership, and playing " fetch " will tone your arms and shoulders, and relieve your painful joints within a few sessions.

Yep, guys, that game is the best muscle-sculptor you'll ever experience, and the best opportunity to enjoy ' yappy ' hours with your dog.

Last but not least,when it comes to pampering your lower half, I mean your legs, bums and tums, who else can help you better than your dog ?

Nobody !! We are devoted friends , and always show willing if it is for your own good ( and ours, as well).

Personally, I'm on the chubby side, or I should say that 's what the vet keeps harping on, so I'm always thrilled to bits to take a walk.I don't want to toot my own horn, cause I know Perky may lecture me one more time, but, honestly, I'm a Jolly Walker !Whatever the hour, the weather and the pace, I'm up for it.

Walk, walk fit, walk firm, walk off weight, that's my mantra !A bonus ?Grassy, sandy and stony paths, and fresh air are much more exhilarating than a crazy treadmill and a smelly gym !

Last, if it is not too much trouble, could you tell Perky that after working out, to recover quickly she doesn't need to attend the yoga class.First, because I'm waiting for her and time drags when she is away, and then,if she really needs to unplug after tremendous efforts, she can pat me as much as she wants to. When it comes to stroking, I'm pretty easy-going !That's the best way to relieve her aching muscles and clear her mind !Don't believe me ?? Have a look at that article !https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/mood-boosting-power-of-dogs.htmSo now, guys, you're on your own ! Swamp Perky's inbox with persuasive mails. It's not too late ! She can still cancel her subscription and instead of working out with an uber demanding dog, work out with her uber caring dog !I do count on you !!Enjoy, share and don't forget : BE PERKY !BTW : In last week post I had asked you a riddle. Up to now, you have sent lots of funny, witty,wacky and weird answers, but nobody has found the real reason why Perky came back from her first gym session ashamed and low-spirited ! One week left before I reveal the truth, so take a chance !* perkybusybee@gmail.com

Well, this week was my week off, and I had planned to go on a nosework training, cause you know what ?

I've lost all my squeaky toys in the garden !

Yes, all of them reported missing, except one uber-bouncing ball, but unfortunately torn to pieces by a cheeky magpie !

But Perky looks so miserable that I can't let her down. A friend in need is a friend indeed, so I'll put off my scavenger hunt till late August, and here we go again !

No need to wing it, anyway.

Living with Perky is a foolproof way not to fall into a daily grind. She has the knack of jumping into a whirl of twists and turns, and pop out of it with something funny to tell all of us.

But what happened to her last week, well ...I guess she would have prefered to keep that close to the vest...

Unfortunately she has given me the green light, so it's her turn to be my laughing stock. I have often been hers, then it's fair game, isn't it ?

Of course, I don't mean to hurt her. I dig her too much !

If you ' snoop ' a little around her blog, you will realize that Perky has two quirks.

First, she is an incorrigible diet-breaker,

and then not a big subscriber to workout.

She always finds a lame excuse to succumb to the sirens' song of her sweet cravings, and when it comes to sweating out the sugar-and-butter-soaked Kouign Aman, or the huge double scoop of ice-cream,it's always the same old tune : rainy weather, tight schedule, friends to come, blah, blah, blah ...

Poor Perky ! Striving to master balance between her two foibles is just like learning tightrope walking.

So, easy to figure out that when a local youngster took over a bakery going down the drain, Perky thought the best way to help him was to advertise his products on social media.

But listen, not a wee bit of those mouth-watering temptations for me, the poor starving dog ! Always the same " It's for your own good" record !

Then what was to happen happened...

Perky hit the target and customers started queueing outside the shop, but at the same time she started wallowing in self-pity, complaining that the weighing-scales kept bugging her whenever she tiptoed on them. You see what I mean ...

Suggardaddy put his oufit of Dearhubby, and offered to join a nearby health club, and have some workout together to calm down Perky's tastebuds.

Well, running in the garden with me and playing ' Fetch the ball ' would have been a better journey to fitness and well-being, but, you know, human beings are sometimes weird.

Jeez, when Perky came back from her very first training, I didn't recognize her. No kidding ! Her face looked like an old slice of ham left too long in the fridge, you know, a kind of science project !

( a photo of Perky just back from exercising)

She was tuckered out ! She slumped onto the couch and so did I, cause I thought a heartfelt snuggle would do her good.

For me it's the best medicine, so why not for Perky ?

Quite sure she was washed out, cause she didn't even demand an immediate " jump down " from me !

So, there I was, curled up in her lap, ready for a nice cuddle. Have I told you that I am a first-rate cuddler ?

We were so comfy that Perky had a heart-to-heart with me, but in such a thin voice that I thought she wanted to shoot a remake of " The Horse Whisperer ".

I was thrilled to bits ! She and I topping the bill !

The title would be " The Dog Whisperer " !

But when she told me what happened at the health club, I bade farewell to my great expectations.

The coach who welcomed her said he would show her a 45-minute total body workout routine to kick off her new lifestyle of fitness.

Perky strived to do her best, but once she had gone through the warming-up session, she was already drained. She knew she was as stiff as a poker, but that stiff, what a shame !

The rowing machine and the elliptical trainer chipped away what was left of her mental health.

Anyway, she managed to keep smiling ,cause the coach was really friendly, caring and enthusiastic, but actually she was downcast !

Quite normal after a first session, I thought.

But when she told me why she was so low-spirited, I couldn't believe my floppy ears !

vendredi 28 juillet 2017

If you are new to my blog, you may be a wee bit baffled by the lines to come. So, not to be all at sea, just get a sneak peek of what I posted between early June 2016 and mid-August 2016, and then things will clear up.

You will immediately realize that laughter is the mainstay of the Adventures of Dany the Perky Busy Bee.

So please, don't bounce away, just linger a little bit more on my page, and let's see if I can make you crack a smile.

The early birds among you must remember that last Summer (2016) I welcomed you on board " Perky Busy Bee ocean liner " and that we rode the wave of fun and humour all throughout the season.

When holiday season came to an end and that our liner headed for a fully-deserved wintering, I knew that I could still count on my crew (Dearhubby and my two dogs) to stand by me and share Summer 2017 adventures with you !

I was not wrong ! To let me chill out and enjoy the warm season, late May, Canaille, my English Springer Spaniel, came up with an idea : as long as Summer was on, he would be my ghost-writer and blog for me.

Well, I must admit that after a pawesome post ("Dog's blog ") and a successful " trial period "(see the post), I gave him the green light to fill my shoes.

Quite true that sometimes I feel a pang of jealousy when I see how much traffic he drives and how many mail he receives, but I don't want to be a spoilsport, so let me give way to Canaille, my favourite blogging dog.

(Sorry, no time to wipe my paws before blogging)

Hi everydoggy,

Perky is quite a character !!

She wants to enjoy Summer outdoor thrills, but she can't help sticking her oar in .

She was supposed to write just a little foreword, period !

I was on pins and needles, cause I didn't know how to stop her binge writing !

Fortunately, the postman rang at the door, so she went to take the mail, and when she came back ..." Leave your place and you will lose it ! ".

From now on I'll let her have only a fleeting visit to the blog, otherwise I will never have enough time to tell you all about my dog's life at Perky and Dearhubby's.

You remember last week I told you that I was enjoying a life of ease in a kind of Land of Milk and Honey

and that everything would be for the best in the best of all possible worlds, if ...

Poor me ! Go figure why a single 'if' and a few 'dots' have caused such an uproar !

In your emails you told me that I was a spoiled dog, demanding, bossy and ungrateful, and that I should visit an animal shelter to realize how lucky I was !

Come on, don't let me be misunderstood ! I didn't mean to hurt you or any furry babies looking for a family to adopt them.

My ' if ' had nothing to do with the cliché " The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence " ! Not at all !!

I just wanted to tell you that life would be a barrel of laughs at Perky and Dearhubby's if Perky could sometimes get out of my hair. Literally, of course !! Let me explain.

You know that girl should have been a hairdresser. A vocation nipped in the bud !

Every other day she opens the Threats Drawer ( the Treats Drawer's feunding brother), takes out a pin brush, and starts bugging me.

I love my hairstyle, it gives me a certain something, so why on earth does she want to change it ??

To remove loose hair ? How offending ! Does she mean I'm getting

bald ?

OK , I'm pushing 10, but that's no excuse !

One more whim I give in to, cause otherwise, first a stern " Be quiet " would be a strong reminder of who rules the roost, then, more important than anything, the closing of the combing session triggers the opening of the Treats Drawer.

So, all things come to him who waits !

Well, sometimes I wait for a second helping, in vain !

That's another little thing that niggles me !

Can Perky count only up to 3,or is she mean ?

Anyway, the fact is that I never get more than 3 treats at a time !! Lucious, haunting but so tiny that they turn into Stardust memories within a gulp !

And always the same old tune : " It's over, boy, You won't have any more of them, no need to make those begging eyes ! It's for your own good ! ".

What a pity I can't speak, cause I would use the same argument when she takes a second helping of prune custard flan or a huge scoop of ice cream ( her favourite desserts, but mine, too !).

Perky is awfully selfish and never shares with me !! For my own good, too ??

My foot ! Perky is greedy, that's all !

Perky the Busy Bee ? Perky the Greedy Bee would suit her better !

Last but not least, hear me out, guys !

I think I am spied on ...

Don't get me wrong. No Intelligence Service here !

Just a girl suffering from spy mania since the cute puppy I was pawed into her place.

Perky, her name is Perky Busy Bee !

Wherever I hide to scratch genlty, she finds me out and immediately carries out a body search on me !

Even Suggardaddy is fond of flea hunting

Her rallying cry for that " scavenger hunt " : fleas !

And then I know that within the next few days I will have to swallow down an awful pill wrapped in a slice of dry sausage , cause Perky is so cheeky that she sometimes even tries to fool me !! But fortunately, hadly ever, so that's why between that girl and me, it's a real love story .

I do hope things are clear now and that you are ready to keep reading my adventures with Perky and Sugardaddy .

Some weeks ago, Perky, my whimsical but sweet owner, was feeling flat and asked me to be her ghost-writer, and blog for her.

You know the special tight bond between that girl and me : she is my puppyhood sweetheart, and I am her knight in shining armor.

So, when it comes to lending a hand (and a paw, as well), I'm second to none, even if sometimes my extraordinary skills are not highly praised (that's not fair, but such is life). For example, not a wee bit of congratulations for digging the best hole for Perky's new plants ! And yet, I think I could be a first-rate landscape gardener. A vocation nipped in the bud.

Let's forget about that and let's get down to brass tacks.

Blogging for Perky was far from being a walk in the park. Actually nothing to do with an exhilarating walk ...

For those who don't know, tail-waggers like me can stay indoors as long as we have comfy baskets, super soft fleece blankets and allegedly forbidden bed and couches at our disposal, but we do prefer outdoor life thrills.

What's better than running, springing (quite normal for Springers), barking, paddling in muddy puddles, you name it !

So, you can imagine how I had to fall over myself to post some funny, true to life stuff.

But Springers are versatile, and I did it ! With flying colours, unfortunately ! Yes, guys, you read it ' UNFORTUNATELY ', cause that's when things went wrong.

Overnight Perky's blog traffic skyrocketed,and instead of being tickled pink, she turned green with envy,and warned me that tooting my own horn on her own blog was not fair !

Those harsh words really plagued my mind, and that's why last week I got that load off my chest in my post.

And now, you know what ?

I'd like to say a heartfelt thank to all of all over the world ! You have really done a bang-up job.

Thanks to your mails*, Perky has eaten humble pie !!

Yes, guys, she has had an epiphany, and she has realized how hard and ungrateful she had been with me, Canaille, the poor wanabee blogger.

One week of the best-ever cuddles and quite a few Treats Drawer openings later, I am back on line.

Perky has decided to take the easy way-out, chill out a bit longer, and let me nuture the dream of becoming a world-famous blogging dog.

I must admit that she is sometimes unpredictable, but never mind . Let bygones be bygones.

Bye bye Canaille the ball boy, the slipper thief, the Jack of all trades !

Welcome Canaille of the Dogosphere, the first-rate cyber sidekick .

' Canaille of the Dogosphere ' to come outsoon

Whatever Perky's taunts, I have had the upper hand.

To be honest, I didn't have to fight hard...

Don't get me wrong ! Perky is not overly permissive. She sometimes scolds me and says 'no' in such a stern voice that I know it is high time to stop playing the fool, and be as good as gold.

She's quite strict, too, about table manners, or I should say, about ' bowl manners ', cause, even though there are enough chairs round the table, I'm never invited to sit on one of them, and believe me, I've tried...

So, when she prepares my meals, I'm never allowed to put my paws on the countertop to supervise the preparation, and suggest a few more ingredients such as some slices of sausage or ham bits. When in the kitchen, Perky rarely lets her imagination run riot and when she does, poor Sugardaddy ....

For drinks, the same old tune ! Splashing water from my bowl ? No way . I have to lap up quietly as if I had nothing else to do, and just read the previous episodes, and you will see how hectic my life is. Always on the move and on a tight schedule and sometimes, too short of time to have my dozen wholesome naps !

The worst is when it comes to getting treats.

It is a very sensitive case.

When Perky opens the magic drawer, my own Aladdin's cave, I have to keep sitting, which I do, even though I have pins and needles in my legs.

Then, if, unfortunately, I swallow the first treat without chewing it, I can bid farewell to a second one, and accept to be called " a glutton " . '

" No second helping for Greedy Canaille ", she says. Then I say to myself " Bad hair day for Starving Canaille ".

two friends of mine's suggestion

Apart from those little obsessions, I must confess Perky is an easy-going hostess.

No attempt to turn me into a watch-dog : lucky me, I guess I would be scared stiff . So, I will never receive the Animals' George Cross*, the highest gallantry award for animals. Never mind !

She has not even tried to teach me to sit up or beg, because of all the failures she went through with my predecessors ,Jolux and Charly ( you can see the guys's photos in my previous post). It doesn' matter, I am not competing to be a nominee for the World Dog Awards.

So, here I am, enjoying a life of ease in a kind of Land of Milk and Honey with my two sweethearts taking care of me.

Everything would be for the best in the best of all possible worlds, if ...

samedi 15 juillet 2017

You don't know me ? Well, I'm Perky's English Springer Spaniel and sidekick, as well. I mean Perky (my sweet hostess) has been blogging for 2 years and a half about how to look on the bright side of things, and over the last few weeks, to have a kind of break and lounge around, she has let me write a few blog posts.

I became a geek at a very early ageI do enjoy sharing my adventures with you, reading your mails and making friends all over the world, but I feel the tide is turning ...

Right now, Perky is busy pottering around the garden, so I hope I'll have enough time to post before she comes back.

I'm so befuddled that I really need to let my hair down. Figuratively, of course,cause otherwise Perky will take the hoovering monster out of its cupboard, and you know how panic-stricken I get, then ! *

But forget about that sucking beastie !

Sorry, guys, this week no time for light bantering talk !

There's something I really want to get off my chest, and I guess you, my regular and faithful readers, are the ones I can rely on to help me get through that rough patch !

You know how much I love Perky. She is my puppyhood sweetheart, and I'd do anything for her. Play " Fetch the ball " even if I feel like chilling out, warm her lap in Winter even though Sugardaddy's is comfier, taste and test new slimming diet food every time she thinks I am getting a wee bit plump, let her wipe and dry my paws when coming back from the garden which is rather offending for a big boy like me ( my 10 years deserve respect), and so on ...

And yet, sometimes that girl has the knack to get on my nerves...For example, when she walks me in the rain, when she plays the wanabee groomer and gives me an overlong rubber comb and brush session, or even worse, when she refuses to open the Treats Drawer !!

But life would be so lame without her that whatever her whims, I give in !

This time, however, she has overstepped the mark, and enough is enough !

You remember,two weeks ago, she was not feeling worky, and she asked me to fill her shoes.

Well, I did it wholeheartedly for two weeks , cause I saw the poor girl had lost her get-up-and-go, and that she wouldn't be able to scribble any thrilling stuff for you.

And then, you know what ??

Last week she read my post, and she told me that I toot my own horn a bit too much !

Does she mean I'm a braggart ?

Have I really shown off ? I hope not !

I've just tried to entertain you, make you crack a smile, and advertise my skills at the same time.

What's wrong with that ?

Perky lecturing me about my ego-boosting ?

It can't be true ! She is a genuine dogaholic and a strong animal rights defender, so I can't believe she has dared ...

Of all the dogs she has welcomed into her home, I'm not the calmest, but I'm not the most unruly, either !

Jolux aka Jojo

Her very first doggy was a cocker named Jolux. That pooch was a real badass, and as soon as he pawed in, he ruled the roost.

He had a hearty appetite, and even after a square meal, he could still snack on a pair of brand-new shoes (his favourite), or some letters the caretaker had slidded under the door.

When he buckled down to work, he spared no effort and could remove a fitted carpet within a couple of hours.

That was really a tough guy but so cute that when he passed away, perky cried her eyes out and swore she would never never have another dog.

Sir Charly

After dogsitting a lot, one year, on Mother's Day, Perky went to a dog shelter and came back home with Charly, a kind of black Griffon, who , according to Perky and Sugardaddy, was the best of the best.

I could be jealous, but that was before we met.

Perky loved him to the moon and back, and she forgave him everything.

Even when he barked at buses, bikes and roller skates, she said that it was just because the noise hurt his ears !

My foot ! I guess he was just a coward.

But, maybe, I'm wrong because he managed to kill a hoovering monster Perky had ( I'm afraid she collects them ).

Yes, guys, he snatched one wheel and chewed the wire !

May that brave fellow rest in peace !

Years went by, and as dogsitting was getting really risky, cause Perky was more and more reluctant to give the dogs back to their owners, Sugardaddy took her to a dog breeder's and ... BINGO !

There I was, ready to join them and change their humdrum routine into sweet dreams.The rest is history ...

Thanks to my mojo, my gusto and my motto " Let's be pawesome ! ", life at Perky and Sugardaddy's is all sunshine and rainbows.

Oops, is that tooting my own horn a bit too much ?

Jeez, Perky was right, then.

Dear me, please forget what I have just written and email Perky* to tell her to forgive me !

Here she is !! Cheerio, my sweet buddies.

End of Canaille's post

Hello everybody,Perky on line

I'm just back from the garden and too tuckered out to post, so my only reply to Canaille will be the link below: