Making Things Harder Than They Need to Be!

Dear Readers,I can make BIG mountains out of the smallest mole hills.It’s sometimes amazing I do anything when I consider the self-talk that goes through my head.Everything seems too hard.Just making the bed can seems like a major feat to me!But I have learned a technique that has been making a difference.I read about it in the book, Feeling Good, by David Burns, where in it he has a chapter on overcoming procrastination.He has you keep track of, and rate, your perceived difficulty of a task, and then do the task and rate the actual difficulty of the task. This is on a scale of 0% to 100%, where 0% is easy to 100% being very hard. (He has you do the same for the perceived and actual satisfaction of the task.)For example, I perceived that dusting the house was going to 90% hard, but I found it was actually only 40% hard. Making the bed has now become easy for me. I used to perceive it as 70% difficult, but I found out most days it is only 20% difficult. (For me)Writing a blog post seems so hard, (90%), that I often don’t write one, or start one and don’t post it.But actually, it’s not as hard as I make it out to be, usually only about 40% hard for me. Once I start writing, the words usually flow!(And it doesn’t have to be perfect, I always need to remind myself.)This simple technique is helping me so much, I am going to add the perceived and actual satisfaction part. I can tell you now that almost all things give me way more satisfaction than I perceive they will. It seems to me I overestimate the difficulties of life and underestimate the joys of life.I pulled my back this weekend. I have been sitting in a chair with a heating pad and ice for 3 days. Hubs and I did get out for a walk, (I would classify it as a stroll), but I couldn’t get into the car. It took about 10 minutes. He was pretty patient.I am not sad or angry about my back. This happens once in awhile. My back will heal, and life goes on. I am using this time to reflect and write.No mountain making today!It’s all mole hills, maybe even ant hills!(That was a joke and I hope you all got it!)With a Heating Pad on Day 535,Wendy

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30 thoughts on “Making Things Harder Than They Need to Be!”

I too can make a big event out of a tiny party…us woman have a real good knack for doing that lol… but at least we are aware (some of us), and can catch it sometimes before it spirals outta control. Sorry to hear about your back! Get some Voltaren muscle gel and rub it in after a hot bath… may help 🙂 xo

Oh sorry to hear about your back Wendy, I hope it's better soon for you. I often build things up to me much harder than they turn out to be. I'm going to try to be more positive 😉 Get well soon. Red xx

Hope your back feels better soon! I love how you list the percentages here as perceived and actual. Perspective is such a funny thing and fear can influence so much of my life. I do hate dusting. It's not hard, I guess, but I'd rather clean bathrooms than dust.

Hmmm – need technique. I have a problem with procrastination… I'll get around to it some time ;-)Honestly once I did buy a self-help book about procrastination – took me 6 months to get around to reading it – and I'm NOT joking about that – it just summed it up really for me

Yep, yep, yep'I'll do it later' is my way of dealing with life. You are so aware Wendy and that can only mean added insight, consciousness and change. but only if you want to. Enjoy the heat gel pad and maybe gets back rub from hubby With love xxx

Ha! Claire, I got hubs to rub my back! You are right about the \”if I want to\”.I still get caught up in do I want to change or think I need to change.Or should change!Yikes!Now I'm tired from thinking!xo

Perhaps over dramatization is a common issue for drinkers?Everything seems hard? Have a drink! It will all be easier.That though process is hard to overcome. I know I get to overwhelm fast.I like your plan. Actually pay attention to what you expect and the actual effort. Retrain yourself to realize that things are usually simple once we begin.I hear you on blog posts. I try to write when inspired and post immediately. Otherwise perfectionism would creep in and I would never post.You are doing great. I'm sure your husband doesn't even consider waiting for you patience. It is just what a kind and considerate spouse should do when his wife is injured. Allows her to take all the time she needs. And you should feel free to do just that. Your back deserves care and respect.HugAnne

Hi Wendy,Hope your back gets better soon. Being a nurse I am always hurting my back. It's very frustrating!I too tend to get overwhelmed with tasks. Breaking it down into smaller tasks helps me sometimes, but I must try your technique. It sounds good.Take care,A x

I used to call it my \”Mole hill to mountain kit.\” The best technique for me was to talk about it at a meeting. I found when I had to put it into words it didn't seem so bad. Perhaps it was the same process that your technique uses.KenGreysrecovery.blogspot.com

I even procrastinate about leaving comments after I have enjoyed a post cos I just can't be bothered (shame) Even more ironic when I was once upset that very few comments were left on my posts ha ha. I hope your back is improving I have only done something once and was in agony so I am sorry this happens to you occasionally. There is a very good book by a Dr Sarno about healing back pain and he links it in with somatising issues we are dealing with mentally. Might or might not be something you would consider but it meant a lot to me.big gentle hug

HI there, just read your comment on my \”mountains out of mole hills post…drinking must beget drama! x. (Also, not to over-exaggerate for dramatic effect, lol, but my blog had a deluge of spam comments which I think maybe why it's hard to leave a comment, but thank you for letting me know!)