Tuesday, July 26, 2011

My prayers for Camille led me in my quiet time with the Lord to be in a place of complete surrender. He kept pointing me to verse after verse that reminded me my life is not my own. It took weeks of wrestling but He finally broke me down and I promised to talk to Jason about it. So, on Friday night June 17th we sat down and I shared all that the Lord had been telling me. I nervously said I thought He might want us to adopt Camille ourselves. And my sweet, precious, God-loving husband said, "ok let's pray about it." In the meantime her country was shutting down adoptions for an undisclosed period of time and she became unavailable due to some changes in the law. But the Lord had us in a place of complete surrender to Him so we just prayed that He would guide our steps. The very next day, Saturday June 18th I came home from a Haiti team trip just sick to my stomach and scared out of my mind. I did not have peace about moving forward with Camille, but I wasn't sure why. Jason said he had prayed and felt that God was saying to keep moving forward, but he did not get any confirmation about Camille specifically. Just that we were to trust that to the Lord. We agreed to keep praying and I sat down to check my emails. In my inbox was a message from our social worker telling us she may need us for premature twins born drug-addicted at 27 weeks gestation who would likely have multiple neurological issues and be trach and g-tube dependant. I should've been scared right? But I actually laughed out loud and went to find Jason to show him. He laughed as well and we felt we had our answer as to which direction we should be headed. God used Camille to get us to a place of complete brokenness and surrender so that when that email came we would not immediately dismiss it as impossible. We were ready to say yes to whatever He sent our way. For the past two weeks we have driven the two hour round trip to visit the twins almost every day. They are precious little treasures and we feel honored to be entrusted with them. Are we scared? Um yeah. Do we have total peace that God has called us to this? Absolutely. So, we take each step as He guides and give Him the glory for all He is going to do in us and in these sweet babies.

Me holding baby boy and Jason holding baby girl the first time we meet(: