I've been struggling with extreme low self esteem and the pressure is so extreme I closed in on myself in a way. Its really hard to live under intense pressure, the external conditions arent that bad but the inner conditions are pretty extreme. The intensity of the negative emotions I be feeling is overwhelming and my mind starts blocking it out by numbing me, if I resist the numbing it gets worse, its like a death trap. Im using this is a tool for waking up (all I can do really). When I just sit back and allow that space to come in things get much easier and I flow with more easy, my mind catches me by telling me that I have to struggle to be worthy, I tend to jump into that cuz theres heart in it, I feel compassion in the heart and naturally I want to be more of a blessing than a curse to others but I tend to be a bit extreme in trying to be perfect and my minds idea of perfect being purely good. I feel completely lost. How do I follow the path of waking up without spiritual bypassing