Back when I was a kid one of my brothers was in to heavy metal and had a spoof thrash metal album which included the song 'Welcome to the Church of the Apocalyptic Lawnmower' There is a twisted part of me that half considers that just to confuse the hell out of the mourners....

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Some days I think the only thing keeping me from becoming homicidal is that the voices can't agree on which weapon would be the most fun.