The haphazard dating life of a haphazard thirty year old mormon attorney

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Top 10 things that annoy me about dating

Since I haven't had any dates yet this week, and haven't really spent any time searching for prospects, I thought I would do a post on some of the things that really annoy me about dating.

Number 10: Girls putting lip gloss on. Ok, I get that they want to look pretty and they feel like it draws attention to their lips. I also get that maybe some girls feel a little self conscious without something on their lips. I also understand that some guys really like a girl with lip gloss or whatever on her lips. Still, putting it on while our dinner order is coming? Or while I am still eating? Littlebrother had a girl over the other night to make out. As she was getting ready to leave, she immediately put on lip gloss. I don't get it. For what? She was going to get into her car and drive home and get into bed. Nobody was going to see her. I was on a date with a girl that put it on right before a movie in the theater started. It's dark in there, I am not looking at her, nobody is looking at her, and she will probably lick it all off during the two hours of the movie. It just doesn't make sense to me.

Number 9: Girls putting on chapstick multiple times during a date. I understand that your lips are dry. Sometimes my lips get dry too. It's usually a sign that I am not drinking enough water or eating too much salty snacks. One time I was on a date with a girl who applied chapstick over 30 times. If your lips really are that dry, you probably need more than medicated lip balm. You probably should see a doctor. I know we all have annoying little habits. I bite my nails. I understand it's gross and I make sure I don't do it on a date. How about girls trying a little harder here? And the problem isn't just girls. Some guys I know (such as littlelittlebrother) have to put on chapstick with such frequency that it makes me wonder what is wrong with them.

Number 8: People who text while on a date. If it's something serious like your sister might be going into labor then let me know at the beginning of the date. Otherwise, until you know each other well, it just isn't a good idea.

Number 7: Girls who flirt with the waiter. Come on, I'm sitting right here!

Number 6: Talking about other dates while on the date.

Number 5: Criticizing me for the activity planned on the date. You expect me to plan something, I expect you to have fun doing it. Unless we are doing something really weird, you are probably supposed to just smile and do the activity.

Number 4: Texts after the date that say "I had a lot of fun tonight." It doesn't really tell me anything about how you feel. I have a lot of fun at family reunions. I know you probably had fun cause I was there, I saw it. I am not interested in whether you had fun. I know you have already made up your mind about me, I would just like a clue about what that decision was.

Number 3: A lack of compliments. If I look good or chose a nice restaurant, let me know. If you are having fun, say something. Sincere compliments are not used enough.

Number 2: Girls not waiting for the guy to get the door. It's one of the few chances for chivalry left for us as guys. Don't take it away from us. Let us open BOTH doors for you to get into the restaurant, not just the first one into the lobby.

Number 1: Not asking me questions. A good dater is very interested in the person they are on a date with. A typical first date includes lots of dialogue. If an overwhelming portion of the dialogue is about you, it is your fault. Getting to know a person involves asking them questions. If a guy is asking the girl a lot of questions on the date, it's cause he wants to get to know her. If she only provides one or two word answers, the guy is going to struggle and the date is not going to go well. In those cases, it is COMPLETELY the girl's fault. If you have already made up your mind that they aren't attractive enough, the date should probably already be over. Until then, give yourself and your date a chance. Listen to what they have to say and ask questions.

I hate when guys don't ask question back... it's just social etiquette.... And one or two word answers, it's definately that persons fault.

...the lip gloss thing. Some girls just get addicted. It's like a nervous tick. You should take it as a compliment. It's a grooming habit such as when we play with our hair or pick lint of our shirts....

It means she is mentally thinking she "wants" to look good and most likely she "wants" to look good for YOU.

I don't know you but I'll add my two cents to your blog, especially because I think you're not seeing the bigger picture. This list could be a lot longer without a girl's implementation of these tactics:

10-- Shiny lips are more kissable than dull lips.

9-- Wet lips are more desirable than dry lips.

8-- Yeah texting during the date is super lame but it's probably just a quick and painless way of a girl saying, "I'm not interested."

7-- Echo number 8. If she's doing with the waiter what she's not doing with you, it's a hint. And as the guy, you have an open license to end the date right there.

6-- This is a tactic younger daters use to make males jealous. Give her a few years; she'll grow out of it.

5-- Jump ship. Immediately. That's when you say, "You know, you're right. Let's do something else. It's a surprise." Drive to her house, open her door, and tell her to get out.

4-- You're being too picky. If she texts anything after the date, even if it was, "Your car was cool," she's interested in another date. Maybe she hasn't channeled all her true feelings but she just knows she doesn't want to lose you.

3-- I agree but some people aren't as savvy as you. By date three, you have a license to tell your dates they need to compliment you if they aren't doing it.

2-- Girls don't want to assume things and make you feel bad. So if you want to open both doors. Rush for it. :)

1-- Where do you find these girls who don't talk on dates, South Dakota? You must date a bunch of shy girls.

And there, my friend, is my two cents. More like a dime. I'll bill you later.

Thanks for your comments. Most were dead on. The lip thing is my own problem, and probably one that will haunt me to the grave. I disagree about dull lips being more kissable, but that's just because I won't kiss a girl with lip stuff on. I know people might attack me for this but I have bypassed a lot of opportunities to kiss a girl at the end of a date because she applied lip stuff in my car. I guess some things work for certain people and don't work for others. I am excited to receive more comments from you. Be careful billing me though, there are regulations against the unauthorized practice of law.