February 1, 2017

In an article published last week, the Smithsonian.com reported that an ancient asteroid collision is still raining space rocks down on earth. When asked where these earth-bound space rocks come from, the article's author, Jason Daley, indicated that most of these ancient rocks come from a collision that took place some 466 million years ago when something hit a massive asteroid, triggering a cascade of rocks smashing into one another. Fragments of these rocks began bombarding earth - and still do today.In Washington D.C., the President issued a statement through his spokesperson Sean Spicey that he is fully aware of the situation and will reveal a plan next week to build a roof above the United States which would divert any rocks into Mexico or Canada. He further indicated that the United States would reserve the rights to any valuable gems found within these rocks. The President further indicated that the Martians would pay for the cost of the roof.