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Yeah, What If...

Was reading marathon runner's entry today, about ifs and yeah, i was wondering too, what if:1. I could star in a musical.....

It would definitely be Les Miserables, my all time favourite. Victor Hugo's epic story about love, hunger, injustice, cruelty, engulfing sense of self righteousness, forgiveness, disillusionment.....In fact, when they had that programme, Benson & Hedges Golden Dreams, I wrote in saying my dream was to appear is Les Miz.They actually called me.B&H Girl: Hallo, Mr Cheng?Me : YupBH: I from Benson & Hedges Gollen Dreams ah. You wrote in to us right?Me: OOOOOOH, you mean I've been selected?BH: No no, this is only first round. Have to ask you some kweshen first.Me: Ok, go ahead.BH: What is this Less Miserablessssss, is it a cartoon?(thinking to self, how does one star in a cartoon? as a voiceover?)Me : Erm, no, its a famous musical.BH: Oh, musical ah. Got singing lah? Where is it showing ah?Me: All over the world. Coming to Singapore soon.BH: You got passport ah?Me : YesBH: So can fly anytime la?ME: Yup.BH: Are you fit?Me : Huh? Fit? No, I'm the past tense of fit. Fat.BH: Oh really ah. Its okaylah, this one just standard kweshen. So ah, congratulations.Me: Yay, I've been selected?BH : No leh, you have to come to Crystal Crown Howteh next Saturday for the next round of interview.

Anyway, ya, so I didnt get to fulfill my dream. But I would want the role of innkeeper's wife. Coz she gets to say naughty words."Everybody raise a glass, raise it up the master's arse".

I used to dream i'd meet a princeBut God Almighty ave you seen whats appened since?Master of the house, isn't worth me spitComforter philosopher and lifelong shitCunning little brain, regular VoltaireThinks he's quite a lover, but there's not much thereWhat a cruel trick of natureLanding me with such a louseEverybody raise a glassTo the master of the house....

Alternatively, I wouldn't mind playing Tevye in Fiddler on The Roof, and sing, IF I WERE A RICH MAN. (my kid loves that song).

2. If I were a dog, ...I'd be a bitch.

3. If I were a cat....I'd kill myself. (all nine times)

4. If I were a tea blend .......... now WHY on earth WOULD i want to be a tea blend. I'd rather be a coffee.

5. If I were a cartoon character .......oh, definitely SHERMAN the shark, also called fatboy, from the wonderful strip, SHERMAN'S LAGOON. http://www.slagoon.com/

6. If I were a handphone ....... I'll be speechless.

7. If I were a desperate housewives character .......... I'd be Carlos. (so i get to do Gabrielle)

8. If I were a female desp hsewives character ........... I'd be urm...let me think about this one. (but its a toss up between edie and gabrielle)

9. If I didn't have to worry about income or money, and could do anything I want..... I'd ...aiyo, this is also another hard one.

10. If I really had things to write about on this blog .......... I might.

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Comments

pf said…

i *lurve* the part where she sings "thinks he's quite a lover, but there's not much there" in between chuckles at the second bit :)

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TO ORDER1. Send me a text/whatsapp at 012-3240988. Email orders and enquiries are not deemed confirmed.

2.
Please state your name, cake, pick up date, wording if any, and candles
if required. Cakes are usually made the day before pickup.

3. Please DO NOT use numerals, eg to replace words, like "To" or "For". Eg, I 1 2 order 2 cakes 4 2moro.

4.
Where possible, please use the Given Name of the cake to avoid
confusion, rather than referring to "durian cake", as there are 2
different cakes with Durian. eg, Aromatherapy.

5. ALL CAKES ARE
LABELLED UNDER THE NAME OF THE PERSON WHO ORDERS. If you send your
driver, friend, grandmother etc, please tell them to quote YOUR name,
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such order.

TO ORDER
1. Send me a text/whatsapp at 012-3240988. Email orders and enquiries are not deemed confirmed.

2.
Please state your name, cake, pick up date, wording if any, and candles
if required. Cakes are usually made the day before pickup.

3. Please DO NOT use numerals, eg to replace words, like "To" or "For". Eg, I 1 2 order 2 cakes 4 2moro.

4.
Where possible, please use the Given Name of the cake to avoid
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Oft misunderstood soul. Shy, reserved, likes to stay in the background, but inevitably mistaken as not shy, extrovert etc. Originally meant to be a culinary blog, but in due course discovered man does not live on cake alone..hence the waffle.