Why I’m Breaking Up With Backpacking

Note: This post may contain affiliate links. Please see my disclosure page for more details.

When I quit my job to travel full-time, I kind of imagined that I would be a backpacker for the rest of my life. I know, I know: how naïve can a girl get?

The truth is, I think it appealed to me so much because I skipped from youth to adulthood a little too quickly. When I graduated, lack of employment options for English graduates pushed me into a field I never expected or frankly even wanted: teaching special education.

Suddenly, I was responsible for shaping all these little lives – at the age of 21 – although I could barely take care of myself. The weight of it was heavy, but I felt like it the only way to keep living out my New York City dream.

As I traveled on my school holidays, I met a breed of people I never met before: carefree backpackers seeing the world for months at a time. I decided then and there, after a life-changing trip abroad to Southeast Asia (yes I know, how basic of me), that that was what wanted I wanted to be.

Fast forward two years later, and I’m realizing just how much greener the grass was from that side. I may have missed the boat to be a backpacker. The truth is, as I near 30, backpacking no longer holds the same allure it used to. Maybe because I’m secretly an old. I often turn down invites to go partying because actually, I’d rather lay in bed at 10 PM watching the Walking Dead before winding down the night with a nice, soothing podcast. I actually strongly considered packing my onesie in my backpack before realizing how utterly ridiculous that was.

Or maybe because backpacking tires out this closet introvert. I hate having the same tired conversation: “where are you from?”, “how long are you traveling for?” and hate myself for not being socially creative enough to break outside of that, either.

Maybe because if I have to hear someone in their early 20s say in with shaman-like seriousness that they decided to “live for experiences and not things” again, I may very well lose what’s left of my mind. Partly because I’m aware that that is me, too, and I hate that my special snowflake badge is being tarnished.

But more than anything, I’m realizing that I have finite reserves of energy. Who I am at the beginning of a months-long backpacking trip does not really resemble the person at the end of it. In the beginning of a trip, I’m so excited for all the adventures that await me that I’m constantly planning and moving, making the most of every moment. By the end, I’m planting myself in one location for as long as I can, desperate to catch my breath.

I think I may finally be ready to say goodbye to backpacking.

This isn’t to say that I’m throwing my backpack into a bonfire and becoming a checked-suitcase, cruise-ship traveler. Just that I’m slowly realizing that it’s not healthy for me to live a life of constant movement.

Another thing I miss when I backpack is my friendships. Everyone always told me that when you travel alone – you’re never really alone, because you’re making friends everywhere you go. The first part is true; the second, not so much.

The truth is, I can count on one hand the people I’m still in touch with who I met in hostels, out of the hundreds or maybe thousands of names I’ve learned and promptly forgotten. While those friendships are special to me and will always be, I crave more stability in my life.

When I say I’m breaking up with backpacking, I’m not trying to say I’ll never stay in a hostel again: far from it. Sometimes it’s the best option when you’re traveling solo or in an expensive country. But I am admitting I am no longer capable of these months-long schleps around the world.

As an anxious person who struggles with bouts of depression, I’m learning that the stress of having to be “on” all the time isn’t worth the benefits of backpacking. I’m chronically exhausted, easily frustrated, and always behind on my work. While I may get to check more countries off my list, I’m often too tired near the end of my trips to truly experience them.

So what does that mean for me and this blog?

I’ll be slowing down my travels, interspersing some shorter stays with long-term rentals in AirBnbs. I’m planning on spending an extended period of time in Budapest and perhaps another non-Schengen country, as I have to keep an eye on my 90-day allowance. I’m hoping this’ll give me what I need to employ better self-care, self-love, and figure out what my direction is when I’m traveling.

But most of all, I want to know where the fuck my phone charger is for a change.

Allison is a full-time freelancer and travel blogger, exploring the world solo in pursuit of new and exciting adventures. She's happiest when climbing things, snuggling any animal who will let her, and eating improbably large amounts of food.

This is why the serial expat life is for me… I spend a few years in a place and then on to the next one! I couldn’t handle traveling full time. I’m honestly just too lazy to move around and pack and unpack that much 🙂

That’s such an awesome way to experience the world! I have such bad fear of missing out that expat life would be kind of hard for me — I have such a hard time sticking to one place. Ugh, yes, the packing and moving is definitely the worst part of full-time travel — which is why I’m so looking forward to having a home base, even if it’s just temporary!

GIRL I feel this post on a spiritual level! I am such a granny in disguise and while I do enjoy getting my vino on every once in a while, I can’t for the life of me keep up with some of the backpackers I meet, especially when I reaaaally need to snuggle into bed and write a million blog posts (not possible with hostel Internet!) You’re so right though – the grass is always greener on the other side. When I travel on my own, I typically like staying in hostels because you meet so many more friends that way, but I quickly become exhausted from all the surface-level socialization that I just wanna book a hotel and hide forever. BUT once I do that, I feel so antisocial and lonely. Definitely a balancing act. You’re not alone!!

Oh god yes, fellow granny in disguise! I too love some wine or beer but I really can’t go hard like the kids do these days or I’ll have a headache for days — so not worth it, especially when I have to stare at my computer for hours the next day!! I hate when I feel like people are silently judging me in hostels when I hole up in full-on writing mode. There are days where I get inspired and manically write like 3 posts and redesign half my site and don’t shower… and damnit, there’s nothing wrong with that (okay, maybe the not showering part is a little gross, but I worry that if I stop and shower all my ideas will leave my head! Totally rational, right?). TBH, I’m such an introvert that when I treat myself to hotels I usually don’t end up feeling lonely, just relieved. I often feel more lonely when I’m surrounded by people who I’m too tired to socialize with, actually! But I think that once hostels become a more once-in-a-while thing rather than the norm I’ll be so much more excited about meeting new people and socializing that I’ll enjoy it again. Just need to detox from them for a while. Hopefully it goes better than my coffee detox… ha!

Jean

April 22, 2017 at 3:57 am

It’s all about checks and balances. At least your responsible enough to accept that this is how you are feeling and trying to do something about it. Perhaps basing yourself in one place for a few months would do you some good?

Thanks Jean, yes, and I haven’t been so good on the checks and balances. I definitely think a home base would do me a load of good. I have a bit of travel with my friend upcoming this month, but after that, looking forward to treating myself to some well deserved rest in a home base 🙂

Yes to all of this!! I suffer from depression and moving around all the time is not great for me. Plus, I hate all the superficial conversations and have no energy for them because I know i’ll never see them again. That and my tolerance for BS has declined with age. Thanks for sharing how I feel. Great post!!

It is so hard to balance constant traveling with depression. I just got back on a medication that’s been helping me loads, but I kept forgetting to take it because I was moving around all the time… then I’d start to feel crappy because I hadn’t taken it for a few days and then I’d get mad at myself for forgetting. Not a good cycle to get into! Thanks for reading and sharing <3 It makes me realize I'm not crazy for trying to travel with depression, just that I may need to do it differently than others.

Great post, to which I can definitely relate. Much as I do still love travelling, my husband and I have decided to settle in bases for 3 – 12 months at a time then travel around that place whilst living there and travel on the way to the next destination! I actually think it’s a good thing as you really get to know a place, it’s people and culture when you have it as your base for a while

I totally agree, Tanya, and I think you and your husband are smart to realize that. It’s hard when I can be so focused on seeing as many countries as I can and checking new places off my bucket list. But it’s not sustainable long-term, and I have my whole life to see the world 🙂 I just booked my ticket for Budapest now with some travel to and from there (a week in Poland on the way there and 2 weeks in the Baltics and Finland on the way back) — can’t wait to see how quasi-settling helps me!

It’s great that you know what kind of travel style works/doesn’t work for you; I love slow travel and making deeper connections; sometimes it’s hard to explain to people why I’d want to spend weeks in one place rather than breeze through the sights. You’ll only enjoy your travels if you’re in the best mental and physical condition. So cheers to you!

Yeah, I understand you 100%! I always want to embrace slow travel, but the truth is that I get super excited about seeing new places and get a bit of FOMO about not seeing enough… and then I speed right back up again, until I get too tired and end up planting myself somewhere, too tired to even sightsee! So I’m hoping having a home base that I’m paying rent for will finally make my itchy feet stay in one place long enough to really understand ‘slow travel’. And I totally agree – travel is both mentally and physically demanding so you really need to be in peak condition! Time to get my butt back to yoga classes, ha 😀

I LOVE this post! I love that you’re being honest with yourself, and noticing when it’s time to take care of yourself. I suffer with anxiety, and although I’m not a backpacker, whenever I travel I tend to stress myself out. I have always admired backpackers for everything they do. For instance, I’m a hotel girl. I could never stay in a hostel, I wouldn’t be able to handle it! I’m super happy that you’ve made this decision, and so excited for you for the rest of your travel experiences! 🙂

Thanks Rhiannon! I have anxiety as well, and it’s taken a lot to learn not to stress myself out when I travel — just ask some of my old travel companions, haha 😛 I quite like hostels, actually, but after traveling long-term I think I need more “recharging” time. If you ever try hostels I think a great compromise is getting a private room n one — you can retreat when you like and socialize when you want to! Anyway, thanks girl, and I’m so excited as well! Hope to have you follow along the journey! <3

OMG I so relate to this!!!!! After my boyfriend and I did our first backpacking trip in SE Asia for four months.. I was like I don’t think I can do another one of these.. I really like where your headed with this, I’m feeling the same. I’m also going to be based in Vienna by summer and doing smaller trips around Europe!

Yes, four months is a LONG time! My longest backpacking trip was 5 months and I even cut it short by a month because I was so exhausted. That’s so exciting about Vienna! Let me know if you’re headed to Budapest – it’s only a few hours away. I may re-visit Vienna – it’s such a beautiful city and I feel bad I only gave it a weekend so many years back!

I can really relate to this. I have very similar feelings but I’m only 21 haha. Just feel like setteling down and be with my husband and of course a lot of travel too but not that extreme. Lately I’ve really been hating moving from one spot to another, I just hate the luggage thing. Always carrying a heavy backpack, not that nice ahah.
Good post.

UGH, yeah, the heavy backpack is really what gets me! I’m so exhausted of constantly carrying and repacking that damn thing. There is definitely something to be said about settling down — or at least unpacking, haha!

Good for you! Traveling can be SO exhausted and hard on your mental health which is something that is rarely mentioned. As much as I love to pretend I can throw caution to the wind and just live on some wild schedule, I’m finding that I function MUCH better with routine and it’s important to have at least some type of schedule to keep my anxiety at bay. It’s not sexy or fun to admit that but sometimes that’s just how it is. I’ve set up a homebase in Costa Rica and so far it’s working out great. Good luck!

Sorry, this somehow ended up in my spam folder and I never got a chance to approve it! Thanks so much for your sweet comment. Traveling can be really tiring, as great as it is, and trying to establish routine is key. I haven’t succeeded yet, though. Costa Rica sounds like an amazing place for a home base! Glad it’s working out for you and you’re finding a balance that makes you happy 🙂

Such an honest post. Nowadays all you ever read is “wahoo look at me, I quit my job to travel”, so this is a refreshing take on the subject. I haven’t ever travelled long term yet but I feel like I’m in the same boat of rushing into adulthood too quickly (declined my uni place and started in a high stress job at the age of 18 rather than the normal 21 to get a fast track) and I’m in desperate need of long term travel. Not sure I like the idea of never being able to find my phone charger though hehe 😉

I completely get this! When I was backpacking I was on the move every few days and it’s exhausting. Know I’m older the way I travel is changing. The thought of spending months on end in hostels now knackers me out, but that’s not to say I wouldn’t stay in them ever again. I’m just too much of an old lady to keep up! It’s so important to know when to stop and make changes when we need to.

I totally get it. That is why i try to work abroad for at least one school year so I have a base to move around. Good on you for realizing what’s going on and when enough is enough. It’s a tiring journey to be on the road! Even for me I’m tired of language and cultural shock right now. Good luck !

I was thinking of doing that (was planning on teaching in Korea) but I decided to do some traveling first. But when I think I’m ready to slow down for a bit, I think teaching abroad will be a good way to catch my breath and dive into a culture — while also buffering that bank account! But yea, the language and culture shock is real, and exhausting! Where are you based?

Really well written piece. I love how honest you are as so many blog posts about travel make it seem as if it’s one constant fairy tale, and if you start to feel that that’s not your experience, you think there’s something wrong with you.
I now do as you’ve suggested: base myself Ina country I love (in Europe) and travel there periodically, plus enjoy bouts of going home to the UK and smaller trips.
But I love having a base with people I know and love. Plus: there’s a lot to be said for having a solid foundation.

Thanks so much Rebecca – that’s exactly what I was going for. Sometimes I (irrationally) feel so lucky that I’m able to travel full-time that I shouldn’t complain about it, but I think you’re right. I read so many blog pieces about how solo travel will be amazing, how you’ll never be lonely, etc. and while I definitely agree with some of it, it’s more complex than that. It always is 🙂
I’m so glad you and other people have had luck with basing yourself somewhere and traveling around there. There are some visa things I have to work out eventually if I want to make some place in Europe my full-time home. But I’m excited to give it a try!

Hi Allison! I love that you’re working out how to travel YOUR way. We’re all so different and it’s so easy to get swept along by what we “should” be doing rather than what’s right for us! Have fun exploring the world in the way that makes you happy!

I know exactly how you feel. I quit my job after an exceptional trip to Asia thinking I would join the backpackers of the world and find a better life. Turns out, having a home base and traveling to destinations on holiday is somewhat more enjoyable for me. I think you’ll be happy with this new change in your life and it certainly doesn’t prohibit you from being a travel blogger!

Yay, it’s not just me! I definitely think a home base in a foreign country with frequent travel will be the sweet spot for me. I have one big backpacking trip in the works that I’d like to do in 2018 but aside from that – I definitely want more stability in my travels.

Ahhh when I was reading this I honestly felt like I could have been reading my own diary. I managed four months of full-time travel before I couldn’t hack it any more and needed some stability. Can definitely relate to that initial excitment for new adventures drying up over time and the pressure to always be present is so tough, especially when you have such limited time to get to know people and make first impressions. Hope you find what you’re looking for in Bali – it sounds like it’s the perfect place to root yourself for a while.

That’s so nice of you to say, glad you could relate to this post. At first I felt it was only me who didn’t think the life was as amazing as I first expected it to be. I feel like I can really see it in my blog posts — I had so much to say about Nicaragua, Belize, and Cuba and now that I’m sitting down to write about Guatemala I have like nothing to say because I didn’t experience it as fully as I would have if I had had more energy. Totally understand on the pressure to be present thing – I’m a very dreamy, in-my-own-head kind of personality, and it frustrates me when I don’t get my daily dose of internal monologuing, LOL. I hope so too — I think it’s going to do me wonders <3

We’ve been backpacking full time for 4 years. And I’m 50. Just saying……..
I love it, it’s our favourite way to go, but we do avoid gap year kids and almost never stay in hostels.
We’ve also developed a base in Romania where we can ditch the stuff and take breaks, we sat out all of last winter there, skiing and working. That gives us a nice balance. It’s in my blood, part of me, I just have to keep on exploring. Hi from Egypt 🙂

Oh wow, props to you! I think the key is that you have your base in Romania where you can take breaks and drop off stuff. I hate always having basically everything I own on my person at all times! That alone gets so tiring 🙂 Plus, traveling alone all the time can definitely get inside your head! Egypt sounds amazing, I hope you are enjoying it!! <3

“But most of all, I want to know where the fuck my phone charger is for a change.” – haha, yes this.

Your plans for the rest of the year sound great. I don’t have the energy for anything other than really slow travel. Last year I rocked up in Athens and ended up staying for 8 months. I reckon 3 months is the sweet spot for me.

So glad you feel me on the phone charger – I always get SO irrationally angry every time I rifle through my bag . looking for it! 8 months in Athens sounds incredible. I really want to visit Greece for a longer time – I spent a week in Corfu last year and loved it. 3 months sounds like a long time to me, but I guess that once you settle in, time ends up going really quickly!

And honestly? I think the onesie may just have to come with me on my next trip!! I love it too much to leave it behind!

Love this, Allison! I’m heading to Central America on a long trip with my boyfriend soon but, after spending 2 months at home with our families, I’m craving the comfort and stability of home. I really want to stay somewhere for a month and travel for 2 weeks, rather than backpack in the traditional sense to find a sweet spot in the middle!

I love that you almost brought your onesie- I wore mine almost everyday when I was back home in the UK!

Thanks, Nicole! You and your boyfriend are going to LOVE Central America. I want to throw Antigua and Granada’s names into the ring for places to stay for a month — both are lovely (though Antigua is a bit expensive) and fairly central locations. Nicaragua is definitely easier to travel around because distances are much shorter. I think you have the right idea and it’s good to listen to what your heart wants and needs! And yay, a fellow onesie club member!! <3 Please bring yours to rectify the fact that I callously left mine behind, haha 😀 Although Central America is so hot you probably won't need it!

See, that’s not quite it for me. I don’t mind riding crappy buses or staying in cramped guesthouses…. it’s more the constant socializing that really exhausts me. But I definitely love a bit of luxury when I travel — who doesn’t?!

I totally understand this. I am a few 😉 years older than you, and I get tired of backpacking just thinking about it. My last trips have been completely different (horse riding, hiking in the desert, etc.), but I am considering going on a longer trip next year, so I am quite anxious to see how that goes.
I have met Janet way back in 2009 in Ireland and have followed her blog since and came across yours when you guys met last year and she mentioned you on her social media.
I live in Nuremberg, and I believe there are cheap flights from Budapest, so if you want to visit for a few days, I’d be happy to lend you my couch :-). Also, Budapest has been on my bucket list for years, maybe this year I will make it there, maybe we can meet up?
Anyway, love your blog, especially the honesty about the not so pretty sides of traveling long-term.

Those trips all sound really amazing, especially hiking in the desert! I wish you good luck with your longer trip next year and all the energy in the world 😛 It takes a lot of out of you but there’s no denying it’s the best way to see a lot on a budget.
So funny to hear your and Janet’s story! I’m actually with her in NY right now and I made her read this comment, ha 🙂 I would love to visit Nuremberg from Budapest, and I’ll definitely keep an eye on cheap flights! The same goes for you if you find yourself in Budapest at last! And thanks for the sweet compliments, it’s much appreciated!!

Love this! I’ve realized I have my limits to how long I can travel backpacking style, and then I need a break and stay at a home base of sorts for at least a week or so before continuing on. Now I’m trying to get a job again after being in graduate school for a few years, so future trips will probably need to be shorter anyway!!

That’s good that you’re recognizing your limits and comfort zones. I usually push through them, much to my disadvantage at the end 😛 Sometimes shorter, concentrated trips can be just as good as longer backpacking trips. I know I was always so focused and did so much sightseeing when I took my 1 week holidays when I was a teacher. Now that I travel more or less full-time I’m not nearly as focused and often go without seeing some main sights. Two totally different travel styles but both equally valid, I think!

Anneliese

May 20, 2017 at 2:07 am

I am still pretty envious of all your travels nonetheless! Settling into Prague for a couple seasons sounds lovely. Brian and I are actually hoping to move to Spain after the upcoming school year. Fingers crossed!

Thanks Anneliese! I’ll be based in Budapest actually, but I’ll definitely be visiting Prague again in September – I’ve missed it! Moving to Spain sounds amazing – I spent 5 weeks there this summer and absolutely loved it. Hope you and Brian can make it work there, it’s an amazing culture and it’s so cheap once you’re out of Barcelona! Granada is one of my favorite cities there and it’s so affordable. I was thinking about trying to get a freelancer visa to live in Spain but I don’t meet their qualifications yet. Maybe one day!

B

October 31, 2017 at 11:10 am

I’ve never felt the need to comment on a travel blog post before but this speaks to me so intensely. It’s like someone articulated my own thoughts and put them on paper.

I’ve been traveling in Europe for about a month and a half on my second long-term trip, and for about half that time I haven’t been able to put my finger on what’s making me depressed. I’m traveling like I’ve wanted to for years, right? I saved up for 3 years to do this and I’m living out all those trite Pinterest quotes about travel, so why am I unhappy?

I’m finally coming to grips with and accepting the fact that I crave stability and a little bit of routine in my life. It comes with a little guilt– I hang back in the hostel to read and drink some hot chocolate while everyone else goes on a pub crawl and I feel bad for not wanting to be a part of it But I’m slowly starting to accept that while I’ll never give up travel completely, I have different priorities than when I started, and it’s okay.

Hey B, thank you so much for taking the time to comment – I feel the same way about certain bloggers sometimes and it’s really nice to hear this post resonated with you.

This part of your comment especially spoke to me — ” I’m living out all those trite Pinterest quotes about travel, so why am I unhappy?” I felt this so many times. Honestly, part of what I want to do as a blogger is show people that travel is wonderful but it’s also complicated, and that there’s nothing wrong with you for not always loving every single second of it. You don’t love every single second of your ‘normal life’, so why would travel be any different?

It’s so good that you’re in tune with yourself about what you want and need, and with time that will improve your travel experience *SO* much. I feel like I need to write a follow up to this post because I’ve seriously changed my travel style (slower travel mixed in with travel where I prioritize meeting up with friends or travel blogger buddies in different places) and it’s done wonders for my mental health vs. straight up backpacking. I think that if you give yourself a little time, you’ll find the right balance for you. My best advice would be to find someplace affordable that you enjoy (Central & Eastern Europe, highly recommended!), get an Airbnb there for a month, and start really reaching out and networking and making some cool friends from places other than hostels. Couchsurfing meetups, expat groups on Facebook, Facebook groups like Girls Love Travel, etc… those friends are much more ‘real’ than having the same hostel conversation 10x a day.

This post resonates so much with me! So far I’ve lived in Berlin, London, and New York City. While I only stayed in Berlin for a couple of months I spent a couple of years in both London and New York City. I am currently traveling the world full-time and love it and also know me well enough that I am definitely going to stay in places for longer periods again after this trip. I love a mix of both I guess – extended trips and living somewhere for a longer period of time. Great post, I really love your writing! 🙂

Shout out from one former New Yorker to another! Yes, I love a mix of both, too. I think my sweet spot is about 1 month of travel and then spending some time at “home” — wherever that is — right now it’s Sofia and hoping it suits me well enough to make a long-term commitment (AGH!) to it. And thanks for the kind words! <3

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Sign me up for the monthly newsletter - no spam, promise!

About Allison

Hi! I'm Allison - a California native gone rogue, avoiding adulting one country at a time. Here on my blog, I tell honest stories about living a travel-centered life. If you're into quirky cities and outdoors adventures, served with a hint of self-deprecation - you're in the right place.