Chapters too long? -lol- I know of a story where the shortest chapter consists of 13,000 words an the longest over 60,000. And at the 1st of august there will be the 100th chapter of his (main) story online. But consider you warned: It's all in German! Anyway, here is the link: http://www.thorsten-oberbossel.de/deutsch/hp/fanfic.shtml (scroll a bit down ^^).
For your story: Great! Really great! I like martial arts and I love Harry Potter - what for could I ask more? I'm only a bit sad, the last update was over 6 month ago. Please, gimme more of it! ;)

Very good chapter.
I suppose that Harry can't just take out Snape without getting paid, could he? We all know that Snape (and Dray at some point) will try to ambush Harry. I can't see Snape ever wising up, and he is a DE.
Think of Hoggy if Snape and Dray both "disappeared."
Does Harry know that Bumbles keeps "pinging" his mind and will he get tired of it or must he put up with his contractor's immoral actions against him?
Chapters are definitely too short.
In the HP verse, it always seems that all you need to do is throw a portkey at someone (maybe even yell catch) or just touch them (maybe while sleeping) with a portkey. Kidnapping seems almost childishly simple, even easier than a kill. What exactly is so hard about getting Harry transported to Moldie?