This Is How Each Zodiac Sign Texts Their Crush

Decoding texts from someone who may or may not have a crush on you can be exhausting. If you can't make sense of the emoji trains or 3-hour-gaps in texts, you can always look up their birthday and see the role the universe plays in your conversation confusion:

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1Aries: The Relentless ROFLer

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They will end almost any sentence with “lol”, “haha”, “lmfao”, or the very potent “rofl.” Since they can’t be there IRL to loudly chuckle at everything you say, they overcompensate with enough laughing acronyms for you to never actually know if you’re that funny or not.

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2Taurus: The Questioner That Won’t Quit

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Tauruses are so self-conscious about being boring that they’ll keep asking you questions just so you stay in the convo with them. “How’s your day?” is followed by “How are you feeling?” which then ends with “What do you think about when you try to fall asleep at night?” “How many hot dogs have you ever eaten in one sitting?” “Do you care for smooth jazz at all?”

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3Gemini: The Tiny Text Trooper

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Instead of sending you one 1-2 sentence message, they’ll frantically text you 14 short texts in a row, as if subconsciously just wanting to give you MORE messages because they like you so much. Basically, if you ever pick up your phone and see 86 unread messages, you’ll know 85 of them are theirs.

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4Cancer: The Ellipses Offender

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Cancer is so thoughtful with what they want to text you that they unknowingly send you into ellipses bubble purgatory half the time. What’s worse: after it takes them enough time to write what you assume to be a novella about how great you are, all you get is a brisk “sounds good!”

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5Leo: The Aspirational Announcer

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Leo is set on making you feel like your life would inarguably be better with them by your side, so they are always ready to show you their pics BEFORE they go up on Instagram and even sneak in a sexy selfie or two.

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6Virgo: The Puppy Producer

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Virgo figures that the path to your heart is getting you to associate them with all things happy, so they’re always sending you puppy gifs, kitten pics, and all the videos of toddlers acting like drunk adults that you could ever desire.

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7Libra: The Serious Socialite

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Libra has shit to do, and liking you a lot doesn’t make you an exception to their rule of texting to only make plans. Your attempts at playful midnight banter will probably be rebuffed. But don’t take it personally! They’d rather just see you in person over a screen. :)

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8Scorpio: The Prominent Pursuer

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Scorpio is just not the best at hiding their interest in you, so they will probably let a few too many heart eye emojis slip into a conversation about how the Packers played this weekend. But hey, at least they’re transparent: their out-of-the-blue comments about how great you are need little decoding.

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9Sagittarius: The Emoji Abuser

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Sagittariuses are a fun-loving bunch, so it’s natural that their texts to you, who they are very happy to talk to, are peppered with streams of smiley emojis. If it hasn’t happened already, you two will get to a point where you can communicate with a single prayer hands.

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10Capricorn: The Post-Dialogue Disappearer

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They act like they see your text, respond as if wanting to continue said conversation, and then throw their phone in a locked chest to bury under a tree, only digging it back up four days later to finally respond back. And then they repeat the process all over again. Maybe they’re just this bad at texting with everyone, or maybe every one of your texts sends them into a half-a-week panic and they need time to decide between “ha!” or “hahahahahah.” Hopefully the latter?

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11Aquarius: The Briefly Boring

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Aquarius is much smoother IRL, where their sassy tone can’t get misinterpreted. So, out of fear of potentially upsetting you, they keep their texts so one-worded and bland that you kind of wonder why you bother. Once you actually date though, their texting game pretty much changes overnight.

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12Pisces: The Excitable Enthusiast

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Man, Pisces is so pumped to be talking to you that all their texts sound like the drunk 2am “omg ilu so much” messages your BFF sends after margarita happy hour. But nope! They are totally sober. They still think you’re “the best ever” and “a goddamn queen” though.

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