Hi. It’s been a while. We skipped any posts during 2015, which, without gloating was one of the best years on record. A real stunner. Huge apologies if it was terrible for you, but I am, always will be, a huge fan. Indeed, it is the high watermark on what will now be a steady decline into obscurity, poverty and death.

2015 saw Bane travel to Australia and the USA for five months. The fact that no links to any tickets for any of those shows are on this website, shows you what a great time we were having; basically we were moonwalking from place to place, high fiving strangers, using party as a verb and conga lining around supermarkets. Ahem. In reality it’s because the labyrinth of pages I need to navigate in order to update this website is an unimaginable joke. Phone calls to my technically savvy younger brother are a painful flashback to our teenage years; “What’s the password? … Then I press update, what? … Busy? You? You’re younger than me so whatever you’re doing is less important … F**k you too”. But, I’ve caught him in an especially fine mood, so I’m in. I’m in the zone that simply requires me to write and press return, which will fingers crossed appear in front of your eyes on this website. So, I’ll plough on.

As you may or may not know 2015 is firmly in the past. Now is now. So, now? Well, Bane IV is in the first draft phase and we’ll be performing that at the Pleasance theatre in March (10 & 11th) and at the Brighton Fringe in May, amongst other places. I WILL put the links to tickets on this website – I already managed to do it for the upcoming Vault Festival guys – when Zuckerberg hears of my developing computer abilities he is gonna shit. Bane IV probably won’t make it up to Edinburgh this year – it’s so very far away and tends to take up months prior and post, that said, 2012 was our last trip to theFringe and I don’t half miss it. Maybe next year. We’ll be doing sporadic touring in the shires this year too, which is without a doubt my favourite type of touring. Audiences are great. The people who run the schemes are great. And the experience is great. If you don’t know about the rural touring schemes it basically allows you to visit the nicest small villages and towns throughout the UK, wherein by you perform in a village hall or a con club or a barn or a shed or a gallery or a living room, and meet some phenomenal characters that stay with you forever – often you stay in their houses too, which can be a chilling Kathy-Batsey type experience, but most of the time is a wondrous affair. Basically, you arrive at midday, with no tech to do because there often isn’t any, so you head out on a country walk, feed a few horses, browse a local museum, secure a pint of ale, get fed by the promoter some sort of award winning pie, you do your show, go to the pub and chat to some of the nicest people in the country. Weeks later you are financially recompensed. Smash town. Everyone should do it.

Part of the reason for radio silence on all things Bane is that in the meantime betwixt shows, Ben and I wrote a film, it’s called Green and is a comedy crime-caper. It’s being produced by Mad As Birds films and being directed by Ash Brannon (Toy Story 2 & Surf’s Up). We’re really proud of it and we can’t wait to share more information about what’s happening with it, as soon as we’re allowed. Whilst I’m gloating, and let’s be honest it’s MY website so if you don’t like it… tell me. Tell me why and I’ll change it, I’ll change it immediately. I wrote a film with Celyn Jones called Keepers, it’s based on the Flannan Isle lighthouse mystery and is being directed by Krystoffer Nyholm (The Killing, Taboo, Enfield Haunting) who could run anyone close in a contest for world’s nicest man award. I’m really proud of it too, it’s a thriller about greed and stuff, and is the first film I ever wrote. As soon as I can tell you more information on these projects I will call my brother and ask him how to do a post on this website for the seventh trillion time. So, there. That is what is happening, and that is what will now make this website look a little less neglected and old. So that new visitors don’t think they’ve ventured into the dark web, sweating over whether to call their own tech savvy relative, in order to avoid their computer self destructing before their eyes… For more regular updates, check the Facebook page. Until then, I have to return some video tapes: https://www.facebook.com/Bane-104197804790/

We are delighted to announce that Bane and Ben Roe have been signed up by Freshman guitars who are now supporting Ben’s work on the trilogy. Ben is “Thrilled” with the arrangement and has chosen to use their model the; Apollo 3 DC, for the performances. Come and see Ben using it at the Pleasance theatre in Islington on the 9, 1o, & 11th of September. Below is some information about Freshman.

Having recently reached a landmark 10 year anniversary, Freshman Guitars remain one of the UK’s Top 5 Selling acoustic guitar brands.

Since our inception we have placed an unshakeable focus on providing the best quality instruments at exceptional prices. We source the finest tonewoods from across the world, offering inspirational sound across our diverse range.

Based just outside Glasgow, Scotland, we are proud of our heritage. Each of our guitars is designed in Scotland, with final production handled by our dedicated production facility in Asia, where each guitar is handmade. Before any of our guitars reach stores they will have been quality checked by our team of UK based technicians, offering luthier level experience that virtually guarantees a flawless purchase.

Currently Freshman Guitars has 6 key lines: Renegade, Maple Ridge, Songwriter Series, Apollo Collection, Cedar Creek and our Manuel Ferrino classical guitars. In addition to this we offer a select range of ukuleles and semi-acoustic guitars, as well as an accessories range that embodies all the same quality standards as our guitars.
Our research and development work with AER – Europe’s most pre-eminent amplification systems designers – means that Freshman electro-acoustic guitars are now fitted with world leading electronics.

Artists such as Ben Howard, Hudson Taylor and BBC Radio 2 Folk Awards 2012 ‘Best Musician of the Year’ winner Tim Edey all play our guitars. We are proud to have them on board, but equally dedicated to our ‘Supporting the Best New Music’ initiative. Through this and our partnership with successful YouTube channel Tenement TV, we are able to support a part of the music community that has always, and will always, be part of our success.

Finally, all of our guitars come with a lifetime warranty – a sign of our belief in the quality of our instruments.

Jerks and fillies lets shake, rattle and roll – people do not say that enough, so against the better wishes of Peru I’m opening with it. Plus, I have been reading Straight from the Fridge Dad, by Max Decharne – a dictionary of early hipster slang, so expect these next few lines to be jam packed full of drape shaped, low-slung, solid sent, stripped down, hopped up and swinging like a gate, expressions. That’s right, full of irritating, self indulgent little hipster phrases that I think makes me sound l like I’m straight from the fridge – just remember who I really am and we’ll get through this, retrospectively referring to it as : that weird phase. If it comforts you, know that I had no choice, hold onto to that. Right, I have some information that I am about to spill onto these pages. Get ready.

We’re doing some shows in London at the Pleasance Theatre in Islington. It’s one show a night for three nights – Bane 1 then Bane 2 and then Bane 3. So cough up your dough, shake the lead outta your shorts and fade out to the Pleasance on September 9th, 10th and 11th. (Kill me).

We’ve also got a bunch of dates in the autumn and winter, have a check on the tour list to see if we’re anywhere near you in the coming months – look out Harrogate, we got two weeks with you in the lead up to Christmas and the goose is getting fat.

The Red Roester.

I’d like to say a huge thank you to everyone who has come out to support the show this year – you guys are hip to the tip – pack, shack and stack! (Make it stop).

This year saw us head to Italy at the Circumnavigando Festival Internazionale di Teatro e Circo, thanks to Boris, Sabrina and the rest of you ding dong daddies there. As well as the fantastic Kai Loon and Seng Chew in Malaysia, Bec, Katie and the Live Nation crew in Oz, Laerte, Vitor and Fernanda in Brazil and of course the magnificent Steve Barlow in the north there too. The largest big up though must go to the tremendous Evam in India & Singapore, not only a company doing some really important and brilliant work over there, but terrific hosts that put together our tour with a passion and belief that makes me go all goo goo eyes and wolf whistles, so let’s cop a squat for now. Thanks KK, Sunil and Pavi.

Now, I’m gona hit the bricks and take a bite of the air. I may also scratch myself from the big race and pull the Dutch act. (Apologies to the Netherlands, but it’s for the best). Here’s one of me and Ben back stage in India. See you soon. j

Latest from Bane:

Time Out

“Joe Bone’s performance is phenomenal... The real joy comes from the craftsmanship Bone has put in - there are some dizzying elaborate set pieces here... extremely funny”

British Theatre Guide

“In a brilliant parody of the film noir style, Joe Bone has manufactured a brilliantly funny show where he plays a plethora of varying roles in this dark and inverted story... accompanied to great effect by a constant live soundtrack from Ben Roe”