somehow james brown has a bridge named after him here in Steamboat Springs, don't ask. I really don't know why the godfather of soul has a bridge named after him in a ski town. Or why it's near the lake we call Fart Lake because of the stench of sulfar...

I was born and grew up in Augusta, and went to high school two blocks away from James Brown Boulevard. He was often seen cruising around the city in a purple Rolls Royce. The local paper used to love to follow his drug-fueled domestic violence exploits.

Now everyone in the house thinks I'm high on crack simply because I've spent the last 20 minutes impersonating Eddie Murphy impersonating James Brown from his stand up...while the dogs bark and circle frantically trying to decide how best to save me from whatever horrible thing is happening to me.

On behalf of we the oppressed liberal minority here in Augusta, I would like to apologize for the moronic backwater redneck right wing bigots that have ignored Mr. Brown for so long. He is the one celebrity (of many) from Augusta who is actually willing to admit he's from this alien-white trash breeding ground.

I hope they actually follow through on the statue (they may not, this is the Asshat Capitol of the World). We already have a gargantuan 50 ft. high aluminum abstract Klingon sculpture that the city paid a million dollars for, it will be curious to see how much they appropriate for the Godfather of Soul.

On the topic of musicians who can't be understood when talking. I interned as an edit tech at a radio station (not the big cheese but the little guy who spliced tape for airing and such and it was already premarked for me all i had to do was cut, tape and check to make sure it was good) And one time I had to edit down an interview with ZZtop to like 5 minutes, those guys are messed up in the head. They all stutter like like like they all stutter like like like they stutter like like like the worst like the worst like like like the worst like the worst uh where was I? And half the time the sentences they formed made no sense whatsoever. "yeah it was like that when we went...went...went...went...but the beer was there." HUH? Not an exact quote. But still.