Kentucky’s White Walk-On Is Selling T-Shirts Commemorating His Perfect Record

Some big news broke today when it was announced that seven of the University of Kentucky’s basketball players would be entering the draft. Those guys were good and all, but the team is actually losing eight of their most important players. However, Sam Malone, who is the 8th player no one is talking about, will not be entering the draft.

5'9", white, undershirt, headband, ankle brace, shorts down to his shins, they pulled this guy out of the rec center. pic.twitter.com/V4uA5XAkDr

Malone is a senior walk-on from Massachusetts. His accomplishments include three-time All-SEC Academic Team member and playing eleven total minutes this past season. He is your typical walk-on. He doesn’t have the athletic prowess of guys such as Devin Booker, Willie Cauley-Stein, or the Harrison twins. What he does offer, however, is a pretty damn solid winning percentage in games he entered. While those games were few and far between, Malone is boasting a perfect record.

His impact on games was minimal. This past season he missed his only field goal attempt of the season, but that hasn’t deterred him from taking entirely undeserved credit for his team’s success. Because he is a graduating senior, Malone is now able to make some money from his time on the UK bench and will be doing so by selling “Human Victory Cigar” t-shirts.

That’s the face of a man who just completed the best four years of his life while simultaneously contributing practically nothing. It’s humanly impossible not to admire the shit out of the guy. He deserves to make bank.

The only video I could find of Malone doing anything on the court is this gem of him air balling the piss out of a three-point shot during Kentucky’s 2011 Blue-White game.

Thanks to a reader, we were able to discover this gem of Malone completely botching a layup while Kentucky led by nearly 60 points.