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Blogoversary

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

Ape10, Spark, and Zombielyn are wandering the countryside. "And you're sure that this is where the second dinowarrior is?" Ape10 asked Spark.

"Affirmative." Spark responded. "The history books from our present day stated that many villagers in this time period reported seeing a "dragon" terrorizing their day to day activities. My computer brain predicts that there is a 99.98% chance that the dragon is in fact one of the chronologically misplaced dinosaurs."

Ape10 approached a passing villager. "Excuse me, sir, I'm trying to find the ..."
But by that time, the person had turned to see Ape10 and reacted.
"Ahhh! Ye are infected with the olde plague! Back! Back! Before I am cursed with the disease!"
And with that, the man fled down the olde pathe.

Spark found another passerby and approached him. Before the robot could speak, the young man bowed.
Spark looked back to Ape10 and Zombielyn. They were as baffled as he was, but gestured for him to go ahead.
"Um...I'm looking for the dragon that has been terrorizing your village lately. Do you know where it is?"

The young man rose and said, "Kind Knight, Sir - Nobody knows where to find the mighty dragon. It simply comes to town and kidnaps the maidens. If only we knew where the beast was hiding, I myself would take it down. Then the villagers would write great tales of my heroic deeds. They would say, 'Brave Arthur slayed the creature!' and other such things."

Spark analyzed the small person named Arthur in front of him. "Hmm." he thought, "there is a 83.12% chance that this is the King Arthur from those legends. I should make sure that history is not altered." Before leaving, he whispered into Arthur's ear.

Spark then conferred with his friends. "It seems that the dragon has an interest in maidens." At that, Spark and Ape10 looked at Zombielyn.

Suddenly, the dragon appeared. Zombielyn monotoned, "Heeehhlp." and the robot and the ape stepped out from behind the trees. Ape10 said, "We're about to get medieval upon your ass." and then they began to attack the creature from another time.

Having nullified the threat, Ape10 set his weapon down on the ground. Spark stuck the sword into the stone, and Zombielyn wiped the blood off her face.
Ape10 said, "You know, if we keep this up, the series is gonna be done before it even gets started. We need a more difficult enemy than these dinosaurs."
"There is still one more out there," Spark said. "And we have Bluebush himself to track down and bring to justice. Not to mention The Boy."

By this point, a small crowd of people had gathered around the dragon's corpse. A few of the men were trying to take credit for the slaying, but none of them were able to remove the sword from the stone to prove that they were responsible. Arthur was among the crowd. He remembered what Spark had told him, and using the tip that he'd given him, he easily unsheathed the weapon.

Merlin sighed. "I would like to return to the future with you three to assist you in battling The Boy, but as you can see, I am needed here. However, I will do the next best thing. When you return to your own time, I will have arranged for a magician to provide guidance in regard to your nemesis. To call upon this fellow augur, follow these directions." Merlin handed a scroll to Ape10.

Ape10 took the scroll, and Merlin said, "Be careful, Ape10. The Boy will stop at nothing to become The Man. If that happens, he will be much more difficult to deal with."
Ape10 nodded. "Thank you, Merlin. And...um. May the Force be with you, I guess."

Upon returning to their home, Ape10 took the scroll and unfurled it. The text was written in Latin. He grimaced and handed the scroll to Spark. The robot looked it over and said, "Sorry, buddy. But I can't help you."

Ape10 did a double take. "You can't read Latin, Spark?"

Spark said, "Of course I can read Latin. But everyone knows that robots can't do magic. Or at least, not unless they have the right processors implanted. I do not."

Ape10 sighed. "Oh. Well..." Zombielyn reached over and took the scroll. She looked it over, then read it aloud, doing the necessary dance steps as well. Once she was finished, the scroll disintegrated.
Ape10 looked at Zombielyn and asked, "You can read Latin?"
"Etiam!"

Belinda smiled and said, "Good one. I've not heard that one a thousand times before."

Spark softly said, "Well there's no need to get snippy."

Ape10 stepped in and said, "Yes. Merlin told us that you would be able to assist us in our battle with The Boy. What can you tell us about him?"

"I will attempt to gaze into the future, and tell you what I can see. I warn you now, though, that using these powers is not easy, and I may not be able to predict what The Boy is planning. In addition, future knowledge may not be as helpful as you would like. I will try, though."

Belinda opened her eyes and glaring at Spark, said, "It is. It shall come to pass."

Spark looked at Ape10 and Zombielyn. "She's mistaken, then. She must be thinking of that old Arnold movie, perhaps."
Before anyone could comment on this idea, Belinda closed her eyes again and said, "Zombielyn! I see you ...Ape10 and Spark have abandonded you in the past. During the ...Salem witch trials. You will be placed on trial for some reason, and ..." she didn't finish her thought, instead began to predict Ape10's fate.

"As for you, Ape10 - you will soon die. It seems that The Boy will, ultimately, become The Man, and he will kill you. He will kill all of you. It is inevitable!"
At that point, Ape10 said angrily, "Okay, witch. How long have you been working for The Boy?"
Belinda smiled evilly. "You're a smart monkey, aren't you? I see why The Boy admires you. But it won't matter. I may have been lying about Zombielyn, but I am a soothsayer, and it is fact that you will all be killed. It isn't my fault if you can't handle the sooth."
Ape10 growled. "What happened to the wizard Merlin was going to send us?"

Spark returned from the Time Blender alone.
Ape10 asked the robot, "Done?"
Spark answered, "Affirimative. I took our friend to the Salem Witch Trials. With the outfit she was wearing, it didn't require much convincing on the mob's part to believe that she was, in fact, a witch."
Zombielyn said, "Guuuuhuhhhhhhhhhh."

Ape10 nodded, but looked troubled. "Spark? Zombielyn? Do ...do you guys think that Belinda was actually able to see the future?"

Spark agreed. "She was simply an agent of The Boy, trying to get us to doubt ourselves. Remember what Linda Hamilton told us? 'The Future is not set. There is no fate but that which we make.' And besides, the only real way to tell the future is to highlight spoilers."

Ape10 smiled and thanked his friends. "Thanks, guys. You're both right, of course. Worrying about the future is completely pointless. Whatever happens, happens. From now on, "Inevitable, schminevtable" is my motto. Besides, the future can't be as bad as she predicted."