I took it upon myself during a game night to remind them just whose base it actually was, and to kindly but firmly remind them it was time to go! In other words, git off mah lawn, ya damn kids! It’s worth noting that Mike (crashprone) and Isaac (xammy) are the originators of the idea that all of Military Orders is just a Joan cheerleader squad (literally), which has become our local group’s fluff canon. I hope this canon spreads throughout the Human Sphere beyond our little scrappy meta. Of course Joan sucks and died to a Chasseur in one order, so…Since it’s canon, I’m playing along in this batrep, much to my own enjoyment and I hope yours too! Mike and I had pre-agreed to hold the… polite requesting event… at J-5 Netzknotzen, so after a little help in list building from the Bromad hive mind, we were off!

Deployment

Zero Cool sighed in exasperation the moment the moment his Comlog went off. He knew who was calling. Without preamble, he started yelling into his Comlog: “For the last time, NO, I don’t want to join the Joan of Arc fan club, yes I know that you have a package deal going, and NO, I’m not interested!”

The Knight of the Holy Sepulcher on the other end was insistent: “We’re going to show you the power of Joan! She’s here in person you know, guiding us from on high! All hail the beauty and tactical acumen of Joan! GOOOOO JOAN!”

The Knight was only too happy to answer: “Why yes! She’s here as a diplomatic liaison in a strictly non-combatant role, and-” Zero Cool hung up on the fangirling Knight and opened a general channel to the local Nomad forces.

“Attention all Nomad forces! ALEPH recreation on the premises! All forces move to intercept and capture if possible, exterminate if not! This is not a drill! MOVE MOVE MOVE!” he shouted.

Mike won the roll-off and chose deployment. Unwilling to deploy first and then let him go first, I took first turn. Given that one of the objectives was way up on a building, it was a no-brainer to put Mary Problems on that side to make use of her climbing plus. I backed her up with a Moran and a Morlock. My right was anchored by my Kriza with Interventor, then I piled the Hollow Man ML, Riot Grrl SO, and Daktari near the center. My Heckler was near my HVT also in the center, ready to make a run for the rightmost antenna. The Puppet Master hung out near the Riot Grrl, basically not doing anything except providing an order, because I freaking forgot to use Minelayer! I strung three Morlocks across my backfield (Dogged, +1 ARM, +1 ARM left to right), held Bran in reserve, and passed deployment to Mike.Mike put a trio of knights on his right, which I immediately suspected was a Holoprojector ruse to hide his lieutenant. Good thing Mary was on that side. On Mike’s left was his Order Sergeant link team, with not one but two HRLs and not two but three Paramedics! Jeez! They were backed up by a Fugazi on the roof. Joan came down as a proxy for a warcor (Joan has to be in all of Mike’s lists for Kurage for narrative reasons) and perched herself high above the battlefield in a sniper tower. Mike then shooed me away from the table to place some TO camo models. Once he was done, I stuck Bran right next to his Order Sergeant link team, and then Mike plopped down a Seraph and its Auxbot near his Lieutenant on my left.I nominated the Riot Grrl as my DataTracker, and Mike nominated one of the three paramedics in his backfield. A firm, meaty handshake later and we were off! Oh wait. Need to take more pictures of deployment. Okay! Pictures over! Now we were off!

Turn 1

Top of Turn 1 – Nomads

Mike elected to not dock me two orders, thanks to the Puppeteer’s Counter-Intelligence skill. Huh! Pretty snazzy, that! We also pre-agreed that the objective markers are S5 for purposes of LoF and cover. After getting some smoke down with my Morlocks, it was time for Bran to go to work. Two orders later, I was down a monkey man, but Mike was down two paramedics and had a broken link. Not really the return on investment I had been looking for, but I guess it’ll have to do! That’s what happens when I roll a 2!I got some more smoke down with a Morlock to cover Mary Problems’ advance, and then attempted to take out Joan, who Mike was proxying as his warcor, with a coordinated order. The Kriza and Hollow Man took some shots while the Moran and Mary Problems advanced. It took a second coordinated order to finally drop the pesky warcor, who passed 5 out of 6 ARM saves against the Kriza’s HMG! Well, now with their idol gone, the rest of Mike’s forces should crumble easily, right? Right?The Hollow Man whiffed twice, which was most disappointing, but at least he got some movement out of the deal. As part of the second coordinated order, I managed to get the Riot Grrl into base to base with the antenna just outside my deployment zone and repositioned the Daktari. Now it was time for Mary Problems to go handle that Seraph. As she poked out to get a pitcher off, a wild TO Order Sergeant appeared!Thankfully, we both whiffed our shots as I retreated to cover, and a second order shocked the Order Sergeant off the table. I climbed Mary up onto the roof of the building as part of a coordinated order, super jumping the Hollow Man to try and get a shot at one of the Order Sergeant HRLs, but we both whiffed. This also let me get the Heckler near the rightmost antenna, but not in base to base. I hoped to get a dodge off into base to base if it came to it.I attempted to get a pitcher onto the roof of the building the Seraph was hiding behind, but failed with Mary getting flash pulsed by the Fugazi as a result. Ah well. After advancing the Morlocks with their irregular orders, I had one more thing to do. Zero Cool the Interventor pushed some buttons on his HD+ and Oblivioned Mike’s Knight, who was his lieutenant!Hooray! Totally out of orders so I had to pass the turn.

Bottom of Turn 1 – Military Orders

In loss of lieutenant, Mike spent two orders and two command tokens super jumping the Seraph up to take out Mary Problems, finally getting her on the second order. This meant I only had one specialist controlling an antenna. Not good.His ex-Lieutenant attempted to shoot the repeater, but I crit-Basilisked him with my Interventor and the repeater tanked the point-blank combi-rifle shots. After doing the usual PanO trick of mixing up your sidearm with your MediKit, killing one of the downed Order Sergeant Paramedics, Mike reformed his link team, which was now a Haris. He revealed a TO camo marker near the rightmost antenna and moved it towards my Heckler, but I had LoF first short skill and didn’t want to give up camo state for free. After popping a To Order Sergeant out near his home antenna and wounding my Hollow Man, Mike passed the turn. Unsurprisingly, he nominated the Seraph as his lieutenant. My test of the Hollow Man ML as a solo piece is a failure I think. It is tough to use with the low burst and trying to dance around the 24″ rangeband.

Turn 2

With Mary unconscious, we both have 1 antenna, making it a 1-1 game.

Top of Turn 2 – Nomads

I got a little distracted by puzzling out this turn, so there aren’t many pictures. My Morlocks on the left advance without incident, throwing smoke for my Moran to advance The one on the right, however, gets flash pulsed by the Fugazi, whiffing its grenade. I do manage to get the Morlock further up to block line of fire from Mike’s TO camo token, so then I’m free to move my Riot Grrl up. After spending entirely too many orders, I crit the TO order sergeant controlling Mike’s home antenna, knocking it out, then get the Riot Grrl controlling the antenna on the right, figuring that I would move her across the table to Mike’s home antenna on Turn 3 for the DataTracker and enemy antenna points.To make sure my home antenna is covered, I run the Daktari into base to base with it. Sadly, I used up all my command tokens in the first turn, so I can’t do this efficiently. My Moran pushes up towards the antenna that Mary was controlling before the Seraph took her out, and I reposition his Koalas to cover Mike’s Knight and the approach of the Seraph–and more importantly its Auxbot. With that done, I push my leftmost Morlock all the way up in view of the Sepulcher Knight, granting Mike a reset but that’s fine since it’s his turn now anyway.

Bottom of Turn 2 – Military Orders

Mike tries to take out my Morlock on the right so he can get to my Riot Grrl, but we trade–combi rifle versus chain rifle.The Seraph beats out my middle Morlock’s smoke, dropping him, but the Auxbot and my Koala find true love in each other’s arms!Mike “clears” the remaining Koala by just tanking it with his Knight’s face. I beat out his combi with my Morlock’s smoke, but Mike does finally manage to kill off the repeater there, and I fail my Interventor’s hacking attack, even on a 18! Mike moves up his link team, killing his own Order Sergeant Paramedic with a MediKit–I seriously think that Mike’s quartermaster is just painting sidearms white and issuing them as “MediKits” to all his forces. Poor PanO. Mike spends the rest of his orders knocking out my Hollow Man with the Seraph, then super jumping the Seraph onto a building to take out my Riot Grrl. I roll great on my Blitzen, but I can’t beat all 4 of Mike’s dice. Mike ends the turn by throwing the Seraph into suppression with his Lieutenant order.

Turn 3

I’ve got one antenna to Mike’s none, so 2 more points for me, bringing the game to 3-1.

Top of Turn 3 – Nomads

My remaining Morlock rolled V:Dogged, so I just double move it straight at the Sepulcher Knight, tanking the combi shot.I’ve got nothing better to do with the irregular order, so I just run the Morlock into base to base for a Nomad versus PanO slap-fight!We both declared MA1, bringing me to a 19 and Mike to an 18, which is just enough for me to win the face to face! Mike passes ARM but fails BTS against my Morlock’s EM CCW, so his Knight is effectively out of the fight now.Time to use more of the new Tunguksa toys that I brought! I poke out just enough to drop a CyberMine in LoF of the Seraph, then the rest of my movement gets my Heckler KHD into base to base with the rightmost Objective.It’s time to solve problems the Kriza Borac way! I push the Kriza out and start blasting away. The huge TAG doesn’t have enough obscured by the terrain to be in cover, so I’m on great odds, especially given that Mike’s on -9 thanks to Full Auto, Cover, and long suppression range. Sadly, My Kriza eats a crit and a hit, which I barely pass! Phew!The CyberMine does its job though, freezing the TAG in place. I get a free round of shooting, shaving only one more wound off. Mike successfully resets out of IMM-1, but now isn’t in suppression anymore. The Kriza pulls through for me though, landing a crit and two hits, which is enough to drop the TAG. With my last order, I try to MediKit the Riot Grrl for my classified, but whiff the shot. This turns out to be okay because I’m securing the HVT anyway with my Heckler. Mike takes a look at the situation, declares that he’s in Loss of Lieutenant and without the orders or command tokens to get his specialists anywhere meaningful, and sticks out his hand to concede the game. Whew! I’ve got 2 antennas to Mike’s 0, so with me Securing the HVT it’s a

6-1 Nomad Victory!

A huge thanks to Mike for a hard fought game and for setting up the table while I got my lazy self over to the store after work! Both of us were pretty fried from work this week, so it was really nice to unwind with a friendly (if a bit derpy) game of Infinity.

Zero Cool hopped off his perch and started sprinting towards the edge of the Netzknotzen facility, making it in time to see a trio of sobbing Order Sergeants reverently carrying an unconscious Joan of Arc to a waiting PanO transport. He shouldered his rifle and let off a few rounds, but it was too late. The armored hatch of the transport clanged shut and Zero Cool was blown off his feet by the backwash of the full-throttle engines. He settled for the next best thing, hacking into the transport’s local address system and putting a recorded message into its audio buffer on infinite loop: “JOAN SUCKS! GET OFF OUR LAWN, YA DAMN KIDS!” would play through the entirety of the transport’s journey home–or at least until the Machinists could figure out how to disable it. Which, given PanO WIP, would be never.

Notes

Notes for Me

Remember to use minelayer on your Puppeteer! I totally forgot!

Also, remember that the Seraph has super jump.

That objective on the roof was really hard to deal with. Thankfully I had the right tools to deal with it with Mary’s climbing plus.

I think what I needed to do was to get the Heckler into base to base with the right antenna, and Cybermask Mary on the left. Then, one of my mooks in the backfield could’ve declared Alert! to pop them out of marker state. Risky, but I’d rather have a live Mary and less points on Turn 2 than the situation I ended up in. So many things to do in this scenario! Quite difficult. I really did want to go second, but Mike forced my hand.

Vanilla Nomads, now more than ever, really needs to think carefully about its repeater coverage. We have so many options between Pitchers, Fast Pandas, and people with Repeater backpacks (Securitate, Morans, and REMs). They all do slightly different things, and I found that this game I really was wishing for a Heckler with Fast Pandas more than I wanted the Moran. Ideally I’d find room for both, but having to risk the Moran to get a repeater on something can make things difficult. Also, most of our pitcher carrying troops don’t have the best BS. I think I’m going to have to start experimenting with the Hollow Man MULTI Rifle + Pitcher for this reason.

Speaking of which, I don’t like the Hollow Man ML as a solo. I think it’s incredibly niche. You really want to stay outside of 24″ and you want to catch things in their rear-arc, which is hard unless you push deep up an extreme flank. They have the mobility to do so, but the burst 1 really hampers their utility. They’ll probably be more useful in a scenario like Power Pack, but I think the ML’s range bands are punished by the 16″ deployment zones in that case. Perhaps the unlinked Hollow Man ML is just not worth it. I haven’t given up, just need to think more carefully about it.

Kriza came through for me, as he always does. What a champ.

CyberMines are great! They let the Heckler KHD threaten a much wider variety of troops, which I really appreciated this game. This development may cause me to shelve the Bandit KHD for awhile–although she does something very different. Perhaps it’s time to start messing with the BSG + E/Mauler profile…

Mary Problems is very squishy, I think I need to consciously think about putting her in cybermask state more.

The solo Puppeteer is a reasonably cheap and every useful order generator. I will for sure continue to try to find room for him in my vanilla lists.

Bran… so high variance! Not the worst trade–Bran for breaking a link and dropping two Paramedics, which eventually cost Mike two orders to kill them himself? Had that first boarding shotgun gone off without a hitch I would’ve easily been able to clean up the rest of his link team and probably even the Fugazi up there, giving me run of the board for Turns 2 and 3. Would’ve been a very different game.

Notes for Mike

Always a pleasure playing you. Something about our local PanO players–they’re all great fun! Perhaps it’s because they all also play Nomads? HMMMMMMM….

That Seraph push on Turn 2 was gross! I lost two HI and then you basically ate my third turn. Good work!

Great deployment of your TO infiltrators, keeping them safe to score, more or less. I think revealing to take out my Morlock was a mistake, but hey, you do tend to make your ARM saves!

I knew your list pretty well the moment I saw your deployment, and you haven’t really had a chance to really take an in-depth look at Tunguska. That let me go Lt hunting very effectively, especially since you didn’t remember Mary has pitchers and deployed him on that side! A good reminder to ask your opponent what kit models have–I know I don’t do it enough, and both of us were pretty brain dead by 7PM on a Thursday.