25 December 2015

Last nite after gettin' home from my folks' I was gonna wander down to Dick's Den as I sometimes do on holidays but I of course dicked around at home for three to five hours and by the time I was actually at the door I gotta txt from Jeffy about this funny video I sent him once and then he said he was playin' at Bobo so I went over and recorded it. Fuckin' set was killerdiller no lie and the tape turned out excellent. This is some up-to-the-minute shit here, my friends. And if ya wanna hear the sound of Nervosas losing every single one of the people who have liked us in the past, take a gander to the last song in the set, WHICH JEFF WROTE YESTERDAY PRIOR TO THE SHOW. Also included are a coupla 'vosas chunes off the last lp (one with a Drake sample), a Gamma World number, a Pink Reason cover, & a coupla bangers from Jeff's auld prog combo the Slide Machine.

Btw Nervosas are playin' on the radio from CD102.5's Big Room Bar on Jan 4 which means you can actually come to the show or just sit and listen to a couple songs on yr radio if yr interested in either of those sortsa things. Perhaps we'll just let Jeff do it, this shit is gooood.

Hey I heard ya missed me…I'm back!! And since this here blarg was conceived at least 100 years ago during this same season, AND since I've had this here chrisssmuss tape just burnin' a hole in mah, I dunno, pile of junk over there in the corner for what seems like years (it's actually been years), well it just all added up to it bein' HIGH DAMNED TIME to fire up the turd polisher™ and get some more INCREDIBLY NECESSARY digital files of central Ohio musical CHEEnius into yr earholes asap. Again. Which brings us to the cassette at hand.

Now I don't give a shit about the history of McGuffey Lane and neither do you so I'm not gonna spend one hot second of my precious* time (*not actually in any way valuable) lookin' around the inter-whatever-the-kids-call-it-now for info but yeah I mean they're one of the few ever Col's bands what signed with a major label and they're kind of probably maybe our heroes of our landlocked version of yacht rock so really yeah I at this point should have spent way more time with their records and should know all there is to know but I don't, so yeah whatever. Their guitar player owns a studio where I mixed a GbV single with one them Nini brothers once. Once. Scrawl made a record or two there and so did American Dog. And that's about all the trivia I've got.

But LUCKY FOR YOU none o' that matters when yr just lookin' to listen to some sweet chunes and here are some prime for the fucking season, A GODDAM CHRISTMAS MIRACLE MINI LP BROUGHT TO YOU BY FUCKING RAX. (For all you youngsters, Rax is like Arby's and they useta be all over the place and actually if you go to Lancaster or like past Circleville on 23 you can still go to one. Some people recommend it. My friend Susan's sister useta run one and I just found out my buddy Mitch useta work there. Small damn world.) So um on to the music, like it doesn't matter what I say here cuz yr gonna download this, I mean how many Col's Christmas albums are there really? But I'll do my best to sell it here, basically you need to know this was made in 1986 and at that point it seems the McGuffey dudez had - like so many folks had around then - met some people with drum machines and shit so this here tape is positively riddled with then-modern sounds and stabs at momrock radio play (think REO Speedwagon or I dunno, some halfcrap soundtrack or whatever) tho' a lot of the rec is still acoustic guitars and piano and shit like I think we all have a right to respect from muskrat lovers like the Laners (and oh yeah they make an attempt at a mandolin/synth strings version of "Greensleeves"…did it influence the ECC? WHO KNOWS). Personally I just hope this little record sees some kinda resurgence and "It's Hot This Christmas" starts getting played everywhere in place of that goddam Paul McCartney ultraturd or any of those asslords covering Wham!

30 June 2013

i honestly don't know what happened with the phantods. more than ANYONE since rc mob they seemed perfectly primed for so-called alternative stardom. perhaps they're simply proof that no matter how good and/or willing to play along you are, no-one but no-one can "make it" via the traditional channels in col's, o. there just isn't enough true support from any of the necessary entities (radio, press); it's akin to swimming upstream pretty much. i mean, a band that packs 500 people in whenever they play (esp. in a town where yr lucky to get 50) shouldn't hafta get a letter-writing campaign together EVERY time they want a single played on the local "alt" station. it's complete bullshit. is it any surprise, then, that the bands col's is known for haven't really played nice (read: cared about cultivating much of anything beyond an audience of their peers) in town (times new viking, vile gash) or have just moved away (roland kirk, rjd2)?

anyhow, i fucking love the phantods. you should go send them $$ on bandcamp or whatever. early mr. bungle-worship with a side of pre-120 minutes stardom liz fraser-isms gave way to more trad late-period emo arrangements and modern power hooks, but they tread the lines expertly. i don't get tired of them 45 seconds in like with someone like paramore, and they're certainly less cliched than a band like damone (who i really do also dig) and better at throwing around horrorpunk touchstones than the always-clumsy-in-that-respect alkaline trio.

29 May 2013

lotta folks might not understand that this is DANCE MUSIC but i straight dare 'em not to shimmyshimmykokoPOP when shizz like "whip" comes on. lotsa stuff too ridiculous & diseased about this combo for 'em to really catch on in the unimaginative doldrums that are "garage rock circles" but at least they skipped the very col's thing where they didn't make any good sounding records. plenty here - two lps, two 45s, a whole sonics-of-the-sonics-obsessed session recorded in 'the garage behind the deal' and a short session from a cle studio - to reflect the real go that the r.a.n.c.h. had at it for a few years in the late '90s (post-hairy patt/pre-tough & lovely). these whackos' ideas of what might pass for entertainment are so off the mark that they actually fucken WORK: what sounds at first like pure novelty reveals itself very quickly to be funnier than the cramps/way, WAY groovier than "beat" dreck like the woggles/more imaginative than honestly anyone you can think of. (only band that eventually came anywhere close was the howlies and even they don't touch the copious far reaches of them wranch's ecelcticism.) "beware them that lurk in the shadows," INDEED!

action, action, ACTION!! whether yr down or not with chris elliott the serpentine grime-rock stooges-worship SCUZZ of this combo should still stain yr trouser bottoms if yr heart's still beatin' hard enuff to pump all them drugs thru yr system. relocatin' themselves all over the country didn't fuckin' help anyone care at all but really in the long run we're all just shit and pollen anyhow so fuck it, here're some BLISTERING tunes ("i feel fine" will SAW YOU IN FUCKING HALF) that ain't in any danger of disappearin' unless the whole damn world blows up real good so fuck…throw 'em on some shitty juke/roll around on a barroom floor/puke in yr shoes/stop goin' to werk/live on high life for awhile. it ain't the worst life. (p.s. there's one more tune over on bandcamp, dig.)

11 March 2013

so two of the three geniuses from post industrial noise decided to get a little more radio-ready (?) with their next project, and here ya have it, for what it's worth (which is about $300 [!!!], if ya ask discogs). i dunno even what to say about this, it just sounds like some idea of the early '80s that people who wanna hate the early '80s prolly have in their head: goofy synth-percussion noises that aren't any fun, vocals straight out of a bret easton ellis novel, etc. songwriting this wrongheaded is so often scattered, smothered, & covered with some gloppy genre trappings or other so, y'know, no surprise. (shoulda studied a little more snapshot, if they'da asked me.) the attempt at human league/breakdance rock is hilarious. it wasn't all like this, folks - i promise you.

welp, here it is, the $900 cassette. 1982-3 recordings from soon-to-be near paris members. who cares? i dunno. i guess enough people (read: 2) (i mean 7) to punch the value of this thing up to almost a grand. i mean, even i prolly woulda paid two bucks for it just to get it on the blog (the other $887 or whatever i woulda kept) but lucky for you i gots it for free and now so can you. not as cool as antena, not as propulsive as "planet earth" by duran duran, not ANYWHERE near as inventive as the second flying lizards lp, not as reverse psychologically POP as "the model" by kraftwerk, this is a bit too undercooked to really shine texturally and the male voice sounds like a resident impersonating groucho marx…but SERIOUS. reissue on cleopatra? why not? dull, monotonous, behind its own times - this is not the sound of excited, inventive, forward-thinking, fucked-up individuals manipulating/overcoming/destroying/reveling in the (available) tech of the day to make something resonant (like, say, social climbers), nah, this is folks with too much $$$ boring everyone including themselves to death with midwestern art gallery social circle jerk. as good as a seven dollar bottle of sake in an indianapolis sushi bar. i'd rather listen to lestat.

07 November 2012

offbeats were in th first generation of goofball speedcore thrash pop in th US - perhaps th finest non-genre of musick ever to bounce around vfw hall walls. on th strength of manifestos like 'our immediate goal is to buy some more beer', offbeats were snatched up late in th game by relativity in order to function as that label's very own replacements clones. it did not work and th US sank further into th great depression. before that, tho, they recorded a bunch of stuff they lost th masters to and then way later they dubbed their cassettes onto this record. latter-day member doug enkler went on to form prisonshake with griffin from spike in vain. read up, kiddies: clepunk article

12 September 2012

Bela Koe-Krompecher's 26th birthday party at Stache's in Columbus, Ohio, June 18, 1994. The party actually started at 3:00pm in Bela's backyard. Kegs were flowing and Pete Jamison manned the grill while Bela's grandmother (beer in hand) presided over the whole affair from a La-Z Boy in the middle of the yard. Records were traded, lies were told, and perception was severely impaired. Around 10:00pm the party went mobile, stumbling a few blocks away to Stache's. The drink of choice was Rolling Rock, and before GbV took the stage at least one band member caught a nap.

recorded, edited and mastered by Dave Doughmanhouse engineer Tera Stockdaleall songs copyright Needmore Songs (BMI) except last song (not from same show) by The Breeders, copyright Period Music

11 July 2012

fairly mersh, nicely orchestrated third wave ska. some distorto guitars but not so much punk to it. some melodic nods to th green day side of things on tracks like "fly as chuck" and some nice '70s jazz-funk type stuff on th following track, "pride and a pack of smokes". i'm sure th lyrics are fine but they might even suffer from a lack of th puns so many later ska bands live(d) on. a huge slice of a notable corner of late-'90s col's for ya here, with members of trigga happy and burlap sun guesting on th aforementioned tracks.

when i mentioned th pillowbiters' misogynistic streak i mentioned th staggers' even BIGGER one, simply because their other lp ('the staggers are dead, long live the staggers') is - seriously, here - th ONLY lp that has ever actually disgusted me. for some reason this one doesn't make me feel fucking filthy (no pun) when i throw it on. that may bum them out, but i'm not exactly sorry about it. of course they'll never top th wicked comp track "hell" (which they evidently despise), but this is some hella decent sub-amrep scuzz. members of classical ass, whose kickass lp i'll dig out & post one o' these days.

This entire session was recorded as you hear it - no planning or disgusting egos intervening. I came in from Cleveland, Jim already had music laid down (except for typewriter, acoustic guitar, violin, and aerosol can which were all laid down live and this includes dead traffic you hear throughout recording). I listened through headphones while reading poetry that in a large part was written either that day or previous afternoon. This CD is released as an honest & quite sublime testament to Jim's diverse artistic nature/temperament & how when the chemistry is good & stinking, like an over satiated sun, anything can and does occur. Jim and I were and still very much are caterpillar astronauts and I'll miss being his friend and foil FOREVER… ONWARD FORWARD INFINITECharles Eric Cicirella