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Author
Topic: Spitting? (Read 6170 times)

I, ergh, have a recently infected friend whose neg partner has a spitting fetish. Last night during sex my friends partner asked my friend to spit on him. Some of the spit may have gotten into the partners eye. Is this a teamsmisssion risk?

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I remember all the hours spent poring over research to create AIDSMEDS. Yet it wold appear that the vast majority of simple, concise information continues to be ignored. RTFA. Hell, RTFS.

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"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

With this thread, I truly understand your thoughts in another thread, about the distinction of the I Just Tested and Living With HIV forums. To me, this thread and others like it, should immediately be moved to the I Just Tested forum, or given the subject, the Am I Infected forum.

To me, this thread and others like it, should immediately be moved to the I Just Tested forum, or given the subject, the Am I Infected forum.

I meant to put it in the Just Tested forum but I slipped up. I don't really see the point of moving it again. Sod it, you're right Joe, I've moved it again into Just Tested.

WTF posted this in Am I but I moved it because as someone who is already poz, that's not the appropriate forum for him to post in and I'm pretty sure he's talking about himself anway, given what he wrote yesterday about having sex recently.

I actually made a half hearted attempt at stupid crazy sex this evening. No luck, which made everything worse.

WTF, instead of preoccupying yourself with all the in-depth research that you have been since diagnosis, you should concentrate on getting the basics down - important stuff like how hiv is and is not transmitted. I think that's where everyone's frustration with you is coming from, you're trying to do graduate studies in hiv when you haven't even passed first grade yet.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

This thread was started in "am I infected". I'd really like to apologize politely but at this point I honestly think everyones collective sense of offense has passed into demonization and pettiness.

Rather than criticizing and playing the victim, why don't you spend some time actually learning something about HIV, before you jump all over us. From my view, you came to the forum, claiming immaculate infection, with a chip on your shoulder, the size of Manhattan. You have made incredibly insensitive remarks and comments that cut members to the core and then you want to claim that it is us who are demonizing or acting petty. You are poz, so get over it and if you cannot, or will not act civil, to the members of this forum, then do not be surprised when you become a pariah, of your own making.

Never once claimed immaculate infection. Insisted that a condom was worn for anal, nothing more. Have even conceded that I've been excessively promiscuous. at worst, this counters the preferred line that the only wat to get it is through multiple unprotected receptive encounters. It's hardly a claim of "immaculate infection". As for my "offensive statements"...dude some of you people need thicker skins. I'm sorry that i haven't constructed my reAction to testing poz around what is least offensive to Joe. Frankly I don't even see how most of the things I've said are offensive. WTF is so offensive about my spit question? You might find it ignorant yes, but offensive??? Finally, I'd like to point out that no one "owns" these forums. "living with HIV" is about all those living withthevirus, not just those who are careful to construct their every statement around avoiding any conceivable offense to others.

It is believed that HIV could be transmitted through unprotected oral sex where the giver insertive partner an HIV positive male but we're yet to see any documented cases of this happening.

In the past HIV was transmitted by the use of contaminated blood products (whole blood, plasma, clotting factors derived from blood etc) but the introduction of strict screening processes in the 1980s ended this in the developed world. It sometimes happens in developing nations where HIV screening of blood products is deficient.

If, in future, you wonder whether or not a particular behaviour or whatever poses a risk, simply consult this list. If it ain't on the list, it ain't a risk.

It is believed that HIV could be transmitted through unprotected oral sex where the giver insertive partner an HIV positive male but we're yet to see any documented cases of this happening.

In the past HIV was transmitted by the use of contaminated blood products (whole blood, plasma, clotting factors derived from blood etc) but the introduction of strict screening processes in the 1980s ended this in the developed world. It sometimes happens in developing nations where HIV screening of blood products is deficient.

If, in future, you wonder whether or not a particular behaviour or whatever poses a risk, simply consult this list. If it ain't on the list, it ain't a risk.

MtD

/edit: corrected an ambiguity/

I see nothing wrong with asking......

Some people have more trouble with adjusting to HIV then others. Despite the availability of information, it can be difficult to find.

Rather than using the remark about "demonization" as a que to get on a costume and come out screaming, why not just sidestep it?

I think WTF may be feeling a tad emotional and when people are emotional they say things that aren't always thought through. I seriously doubt that WTF intended to attack anyone on here or "cut them to the core". Read with a grain of salt, and if you are so poor as to not have any let me know and I'll mail you one so you can keep it handy while reading.

This forum is supposed to help people, not be the hatchet block for angry people with HIV to lash out at newbies. Yes, I'm saying it's being "angry" to lash out at the newbies who ask questions that they could answer on their own, ought to know the answer to, and probably didn't get an A on their writing of said question.

Being a mentor (which is what those of us who are experienced are) requires that you exercise a tad bit of leadership and show some guidance towards the answer.

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Don't obsess over the wrong things. Life isn't about your numbers, it isn't about this forum, it isn't about someone's opinion. It's about getting out there and enjoying it. I am a person with HIV - not the other way around.

You remain absolutely clueless. Good luck with that in life. Over and out.

Look, nobody is forcing your hands on the keyboard to respond. If you find him (or me) that offensive, use the ignore feature, not the flame response.

All flameing a poster does is encourage more nastiness back and forth. It's unlikely that in your 26 years you have always been completely respectful, nice, and non-offensive to others. WTF is young enough to be your son and like most kids (sorry WTF) they need some guidance from wise elders. He's not much older than 26. Your response doesn't bely the wisdom that I know you have. It would be nice if you showed the wisdom that your experience grants you, not the nastiness that we can all engage in.

He's not in here being stupid and doing denialist crap or miracle cure BS.... he's asking what-if's and working through his "how did I" issue that has plagued him since he showed up on the forums.

Rome wasn't built in a day and most people don't resolve major life changes in one either.

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Don't obsess over the wrong things. Life isn't about your numbers, it isn't about this forum, it isn't about someone's opinion. It's about getting out there and enjoying it. I am a person with HIV - not the other way around.

Saliva kills HIV:http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9989543"disruption may be a major mechanism by which saliva kills infected mononuclear leukocytes and prevents their attachment to mucosal epithelial cells and production of infectious HIV, thereby preventing transmission"

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Don't obsess over the wrong things. Life isn't about your numbers, it isn't about this forum, it isn't about someone's opinion. It's about getting out there and enjoying it. I am a person with HIV - not the other way around.

Saliva kills HIV:http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9989543"disruption may be a major mechanism by which saliva kills infected mononuclear leukocytes and prevents their attachment to mucosal epithelial cells and production of infectious HIV, thereby preventing transmission"

Lets not forget the LESSONS section on transmission in this very forum. please let us not forget that.

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"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

Look, nobody is forcing your hands on the keyboard to respond. If you find him (or me) that offensive, use the ignore feature, not the flame response.

All flameing a poster does is encourage more nastiness back and forth. It's unlikely that in your 26 years you have always been completely respectful, nice, and non-offensive to others. WTF is young enough to be your son and like most kids (sorry WTF) they need some guidance from wise elders. He's not much older than 26. Your response doesn't bely the wisdom that I know you have. It would be nice if you showed the wisdom that your experience grants you, not the nastiness that we can all engage in.

He's not in here being stupid and doing denialist crap or miracle cure BS.... he's asking what-if's and working through his "how did I" issue that has plagued him since he showed up on the forums.

Rome wasn't built in a day and most people don't resolve major life changes in one either.

Save your speeches and don't you dare tell me what I should and should not do. You are the last one to talk with your "jaded bitter bitches" comment about losing loved ones. WTF has posted some incredibly hurtful posts and I don't remember asking your opinion about anything, so just butt out. Better yet, I will bow out, because I no longer feel welcome, outside the LTS forum.

Save your speeches and don't you dare tell me what I should and should not do. You are the last one to talk with your "jaded bitter bitches" comment about losing loved ones. WTF has posted some incredibly hurtful posts and I don't remember asking your opinion about anything, so just butt out. Better yet, I will bow out, because I no longer feel welcome, outside the LTS forum.

You know... just get over it. You may not like my opinion, but it is MY opinion..... I never said you were a jaded bitter bitch.... but now with your nasty obnoxious posts you are beginning to look that way. I went out of my way to avoid saying that you were acting that way...... and yes, I was writing about you in particular.

« Last Edit: August 05, 2010, 05:50:56 AM by hotpuppy »

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Don't obsess over the wrong things. Life isn't about your numbers, it isn't about this forum, it isn't about someone's opinion. It's about getting out there and enjoying it. I am a person with HIV - not the other way around.

I never said he shouldn't ask. He's asked and I've given him a comprehensive answer. Now there should be no need for him to ask again.

You're pretty good at handing out advice, so maybe you can take some too.

You are given to prolixity. Your responses are insufferably long and border on the unreadable. You might consider these (paraphrased) words of the Bard:

Brevity is the soul of wit.

MtD

It sorta runs one way or the other with me. I don't tend to write medium posts.

The less you say the more it leaves open to mis-interpretation which tends to leave hurt feelings.

As for the OP, a whole bunch of people have jumped on his case. People who ought to know better and have enough experience on here not to lash out have done exactly that and it's really quite annoying.

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Don't obsess over the wrong things. Life isn't about your numbers, it isn't about this forum, it isn't about someone's opinion. It's about getting out there and enjoying it. I am a person with HIV - not the other way around.

Actually, The forums are OWNED by Tim and Poz Magazine.... I forget the actual corporate name. The moderators are the trustees who babysit and keep the peace while he is away doing other things. The rest of us are just guests.

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Don't obsess over the wrong things. Life isn't about your numbers, it isn't about this forum, it isn't about someone's opinion. It's about getting out there and enjoying it. I am a person with HIV - not the other way around.

It sorta runs one way or the other with me. I don't tend to write medium posts.

The less you say the more it leaves open to mis-interpretation which tends to leave hurt feelings.

As for the OP, a whole bunch of people have jumped on his case. People who ought to know better and have enough experience on here not to lash out have done exactly that and it's really quite annoying.

Now this is better. Well better, at least, in terms of word count.

You've managed to deliver a prim finger wagging admonition to the assembled company in considerably less than your usual 35 paragraphs.

You've managed to deliver a prim finger wagging admonition to the assembled company in considerably less than your usual 35 paragraphs.

Well done!

MtD

Gee thanks.

Actually about the only time I write *very* long posts is when I'm touching on something that requires documentation..... at which point I'm careful to state the point, build the case, and show the documentation so that others can form their own opinions.

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Don't obsess over the wrong things. Life isn't about your numbers, it isn't about this forum, it isn't about someone's opinion. It's about getting out there and enjoying it. I am a person with HIV - not the other way around.

Actually about the only time I write *very* long posts is when I'm touching on something that requires documentation..... at which point I'm careful to state the point, build the case, and show the documentation so that others can form their own opinions.

Look kid, Joe Killfoile is our resident preacher. He delivers the interminable sermons around here and we love him for it. He's been at it for years. We actually read what he writes.

You're a featherweight. No one (except Joe it would seem) reads your dreary walls of text. Leave the 30,000 word missves to those who know what they're doing.

Look kid, Joe Killfoile is our resident preacher. He delivers the interminable sermons around here and we love him for it. He's been at it for years. We actually read what he writes.

You're a featherweight. No one (except Joe it would seem) reads your dreary walls of text. Leave the 30,000 word missves to those who know what they're doing.

MtD

When I need your approval I'll be in touch. Until then I suggest you not hold your breath.

In writing there is a formula that says 30% hate you, 30% love you and the other 40% remain to be swayed. Where you sit doesn't really bother me. I write here the same way I write elsewhere and I've been published more than a few times in more than a few publications. Some of the best writers never make money in their lifetimes, but I'm good enough at writing to hold down a couple of columns and make a nice income from it. I sit on the editorial advisory board for one publication. I was invited to that position. I think being in print and paid for it speaks volumes about the quality of my writing. The writing has led to speaking opportunities, again mostly paid. Apparently I'm doing something right, even if I don't merit your approval, so I'll keep doing what I feel is right.

Now that we've had this exchange, let's get back to the topic at hand. If you have an issue with my posts use the "report to moderator" link, send me a PM, use the ignore option, or keep it to yourself. At any rate, don't hijack the thread to engage in personal attacks. That's cheap and in poor taste and makes it seem like you have nothing better to do than drive up your post count.

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Don't obsess over the wrong things. Life isn't about your numbers, it isn't about this forum, it isn't about someone's opinion. It's about getting out there and enjoying it. I am a person with HIV - not the other way around.

Never once claimed immaculate infection. Insisted that a condom was worn for anal, nothing more.

Barbara please. You pranced on these fora with the absurd claim that after each and every promiscuous incidence of receptive anal intercourse you extracted said condom, filled it with water, and inspected it most vigorously for pin pricks and faulty manufacturing.

I'm quite confident in stating that if we took a poll 99% of respondents would agree that this was fabricated in your head. Nobody does that, and it's laughable that anyone would even publicly say it.

Barbara please. You pranced on these fora with the absurd claim that after each and every promiscuous incidence of receptive anal intercourse you extracted said condom, filled it with water, and inspected it most vigorously for pin pricks and faulty manufacturing.

I'm quite confident in stating that if we took a poll 99% of respondents would agree that this was fabricated in your head. Nobody does that, and it's laughable that anyone would even publicly say it.

That is so funny and far-fetched that it actually made my day.

But he has pictorial evidence.

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"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

When I need your approval I'll be in touch. Until then I suggest you not hold your breath.

In writing there is a formula that says 30% hate you, 30% love you and the other 40% remain to be swayed. Where you sit doesn't really bother me. I write here the same way I write elsewhere and I've been published more than a few times in more than a few publications. Some of the best writers never make money in their lifetimes, but I'm good enough at writing to hold down a couple of columns and make a nice income from it. I sit on the editorial advisory board for one publication. I was invited to that position. I think being in print and paid for it speaks volumes about the quality of my writing. The writing has led to speaking opportunities, again mostly paid. Apparently I'm doing something right, even if I don't merit your approval, so I'll keep doing what I feel is right.

Now that we've had this exchange, let's get back to the topic at hand. If you have an issue with my posts use the "report to moderator" link, send me a PM, use the ignore option, or keep it to yourself. At any rate, don't hijack the thread to engage in personal attacks. That's cheap and in poor taste and makes it seem like you have nothing better to do than drive up your post count.

Honey, Ayn Rand and Barbara Cartland are both still in print and made buckets of money so, y'know, go figure.

Honey, Ayn Rand and Barbara Cartland are both still in print and made buckets of money so, y'know, go figure.

MtD

Don't forget that cult thing from Australia "The Secret" - its selling copies like crazy. The recipe for it is simple:- one grain of truth- one load of bs- stir and video tape$19.99

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Don't obsess over the wrong things. Life isn't about your numbers, it isn't about this forum, it isn't about someone's opinion. It's about getting out there and enjoying it. I am a person with HIV - not the other way around.

Oh please, what the hell is this? Would it even be safe to fill a condom with water mixed with semen? Yak-o-rama!

The only place a condom belongs after you use it is:- in the trash- down the toilet

or if you are particularly lazy/nasty- hanging from the nearest bush in the park- on the floor of the bookstore/bathhouse/truckstop/tricks' place

and for the really unusual- in the freezer. (yeck!)

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Don't obsess over the wrong things. Life isn't about your numbers, it isn't about this forum, it isn't about someone's opinion. It's about getting out there and enjoying it. I am a person with HIV - not the other way around.

but I'm good enough at writing to hold down a couple of columns and make a nice income from it. I sit on the editorial advisory board for one publication. I was invited to that position. I think being in print and paid for it speaks volumes about the quality of my writing. The writing has led to speaking opportunities, again mostly paid. Apparently I'm doing something right, even if I don't merit your approval, so I'll keep doing what I feel is right.

And yet, you don't know the difference between PreP and PeP.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow