Jerry Hayes

Major sank his teeth into Bozo played with his limp body and tossed it to the jackals of the press to feed on

5 Jun 2016 at 10:49

Listening to John Major is not unlike having the faithful, trusted, family Labrador saunter into the room and join the nation by a roaring fire. He oozes reassurance and calm. But it can be a false image. This Labrador dozes with one eye open and a nose for danger. And if he sniffs that the nation is in peril, there will be a ferocious growling and exposed sharp fangs as warning of things to pass. This morning on Marr the growling stopped. There was a lightening leap and a savagery that will both shock and delight.

Major was charming, passionate and exuded something that is a rare commodity in the Brexit debate; sincerity. But, by God he was lethal. ’ I have often been criticised for being understated’ he smiled. Well, matey you certainly made up for it today. ‘I am angry’, he growled. And then sunk his teeth into Bozo’s throat and played with the limp body for a while before he tossed into the brush for the jackals of the press to feed upon. It was a remarkable performance. And deadly. Here are some of the highlights. The Brexit campaign was ‘squalid…..inaccurate and untrue……300,000 jobs to be created a fantasy…..it would lead to a black hole in public finances…..Turkish entry into in EU ridiculous…..the French and Germans would have a referendum on it.’

Probably the most effective put down of the Breiteers was about their ludicrous plans to help the NHS. ‘Boris wants there to be charges, Gove is against and IDS wants an insurance based system….. The NHS is as safe with them as a hampster with a hungry Python.’ It was devastating and made me want to stand up and cheer. But my favourite Bozo put down was,’ an engaging court jester’.

And then we heard the tinkling of tiny bells and in danced Bozo with a pigs bladder on a stick. Someone had told him to look statesmanlike, which is a bit like asking Katie Price to send out the aura of a nun. Marr creamed him. It was put to him that the £350m painted on his bus is a lie. What I find so remarkable is that despite the Treasury Committee and the statistics authority warning that this figure is highly misleading, Brexiteers still peddle it as if it the Holy Grail. When asked asked about accusing Cameron about being untrustworthy and shown the well publicised poster he feigned ignorance, ‘um first time I’ve seen it.’ Really? When taken to task over Turkey joining the EU, ’it’s a lie isn’t it Mr Johnson?’ And the response? Bluster and more brazen obfuscation coupled with twinkling evasion. A really disgraceful performance even by Bozo’s low standards.