healthymojo

In this new workbook, Dr. Money explains how the stages of grief can apply to faith journeys, especially when the journeyer and the journeyer’s loved one appear to be in completely different places emotionally: it’s possible they are experiencing mismatched or “out-of-sync” grief stages. A beautiful infographic is included to make sense of this information quickly and succinctly. Feel free to share with your loved ones or for your personal use. A podcast episode from Dr. Money discussing the booklet and answering an anonymous question will also be released later this week to accompany this booklet, with updates at the end about the last few months.

In the first of a series, today Kristy gets back together with Mitzi and Scott Cannon a year after their original interviews to talk about where they are in their lives and faith. In particular, this episode will be of interest to listeners who are curious how mixed-faith marriages can change over time, how to navigate previous guilt over porn as a postmormon, and how to move forward positively as a couple when church attendance is no longer a fixture of family life.

If you find this content useful a one-time or recurring donation will go a long way to help us help others. Visit hmjfoundation.org/donate. Thank you.

A co-production with the RationalFaiths podcast, in this episode Leah Marie Pickren Silverman and Michael Barker of RationalFaiths interview Dr. Kristy Money about her work with the Healthy Mormon Journeys Foundation.

Specifically, the conversation trends around these questions:
-What are some of the relationship mistakes Mormons make while going through a faith crisis?
-What unique abilities can a therapist, who is familiar with a high-demand religion such as Mormonism, bring to their LDS clients going through a faith crisis?
-What is one piece of advice Dr. Kristy Money would give to someone just entering a faith crisis?

If you are interested in hearing more from the RationalFaiths podcast and blog, check them out at rationalfaiths.com/.

Mitzi (of Mitzi and Scott interviewed in Episode 24) was gracious to return to the podcast for an interview alone as she and Dr. Kristy Money discuss her sexual history, how her sexuality was immature growing up in the Church and the importance of exploring and focusing on her own needs, as often in our culture men’s sexuality takes center stage in relationships.

If you find this content useful a one-time or recurring donation will go a long way to help us help others. Visit hmjfoundation.org/donate. Thank you.

Dr. Money updates listeners on the crazy events of the last couple weeks since the last episode (moving! babies! new job!), and releases an episode on porn and mixed faith marriages she recorded with Mitzi and Scott Cannon last year, now available publicly. A LOT has changed since we last talked on their faith journey, and we will keep you updated soon!

We take two questions from today’s caller, a husband and father whose family means the world to him and his daughter will soon turn 8. 1) How do I deal w/ wanting to be honest about my faith journey with my wife/family 2) how do I empower my daughter in her decision to pursue a career or become a stay-at-home-mom.

If you find this content useful a one-time or recurring donation will go a long way to help us help others. Visit mormonjourneys.org and click on the blue “Donate” button. Thank you.

Kristy and Chelsea answer another question on how to stop thinking about the church when you live in an area (like the Jello Belt) with constant reminders, like living in the same town as your ex-boyfriend and seeing him everywhere, the listener asked. You won’t want to miss Chelsea’s insights on cultural iconography and subculture growth.

Chelsea Shields–anthropologist and TED Fellow–and Dr. Money answer an anonymous listener’s question about managing anxiety that he would be disowned. Chelsea has unique insight while answering this question given her own family history coming from a very orthodox family and speaks to how she maintains a healthy relationship with her parents.

One final suggestion that we didn’t get to on the podcast: Last year an LDS Charities video had a father suggesting that if his adult children left the church he would disinherit them. I’m willing to give the church the benefit of the doubt they didn’t catch it when they finalized the video, since the video was about teaching children altruism through example. However, when the clip about disowning was brought to the church’s attention, they immediately took down the entire video. You can keep this fact in your back pocket to help manage anxiety: in a worst case scenario if your loved ones do threaten to disown you can show them through timestamped internet history how the church itself doesn’t support this because they took down a video of a father saying as much–they didn’t want to endorse that man’s views.

In Part 2 Chelsea answers a second anonymous question about how to stop thinking about the church so often when you live in LDS-heavy areas and you see reminders everywhere. Chelsea has spent most of the last 15 years in Utah County and SLC and answers from her cultural anthropological expertise too.

It’s normal to worry that when your family finds out where you’re at in your faith journey, they might think it happened because you were lazy or didn’t study enough when really the opposite is true: you studied church history *in depth*. Understandably, you don’t want them to think you are lazy, or didn’t study enough, or are being led by Satan.

How much, then, do you tell them about what you learned? How much do you risk straining the relationship? Do you try to tell them everything? Join Paul and I as we discuss how to handle this dilemma while preserving relationships, because, as you’ll hear in Paul’s voice, his family means so much to him and he doesn’t want to lose them.

For those that are interesting, as a therapeutic process when he was in the throes of his faith crisis/awakening, Paul chose to write out his thoughts, and you can read them here: www.mormonapologies.com

How do you tell your parents about your change of beliefs in a way that’s respectful and constructive, especially since they live nearby? They’ll know people in your ward, have questions, ask your kids about going to church, so putting them off isn’t a long-term solution. Julie asked that question tonight and you won’t want to miss what we go over together: her backstory, the nuts-and-bolts of when and how to do it, addressing concerns like wanting them not to worry about you and hoping not to hurt them, as well as not putting the kids in the middle of anything. Thank you Julie for bravely coming on!