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My Six Year Old Girl Seems to Ignore Everything I Say

My kid is smart. She answers my questions smartly but sometimes she shouts at me when she doesn't want me talking or correcting her mistakes. All I do is hold her hand and talk in the nicest way I can and tell her she's acting bad. She just thumps her feet and makes faces. I ask her if she understood what I just said and she answers, "yes, mommy!" and that's it, no shouting. After some days will pass, there she goes again shouting at me when I tell her to do things. I'm really going crazy and I do not know how to discipline her.

Your daughter will start respecting you consistently once you start correcting her consistently and demanding that she treat you with respect.

When I say "demand", I don't me yelling at her, but rather that you let her know that you will not allow her to yell at you... that you will not allow her to stomp her feet or make faces when you are speaking to her. What I mean is that you need to consistently correct her, every single time she ignores you or her words/actions/body language says that she is showing disrespect.

This can be very emotionally and physically draining when you're training her multiple times a day, but consistency is the key.

Disciplining and training a child is something that is much easier to do if you start when they are between one and two years of age. Often you can "nip it in the bud" when you are consistent when they are very young. This doesn't mean that you can't change things now - I only mention that in case you have another child in the future.

I'd like to give you an example of how to correct your six year old when she shows you disrespect.

Let's say you've told her to turn the TV off, and she shouts "no". This is not acceptable behavior and you need to correct it immediately.

You would then quietly walk over to the TV and turn it off, and then turn to her and look into her eyes and say in a stern voice, "I won't let you talk to me like that. When I ask you to do something you must do it the first time, with a smile on your face."

Next you can roll play. You can say, "Let's try this again. I'm going to turn the TV on, and then I'm going to ask you to turn the TV off, and you need to respond by saying, "Yes, mummy", and then get up and turn the TV off."

Once she understands what you're going to do, you can set the scene and roll play so that she practices the proper response.

This can also be done if your child is rude in the grocery store. You can practice a proper response when you get home.

It can be very helpful to use things she likes as leverage. This will actually come easily once you do it a few times. An example of this would be...

You ask your daughter to turn the TV off, and she says "no". So you say, you need to turn the TV off now, or you will not get to watch anymore TV today and you won't get to watch any tomorrow either. Or if you go swimming and your daughter doesn't obey when you tell her to stop splashing, you can say, "you need to stop splashing now, or you will have to get out of the pool and you won't be able to go swimming the next time.

Please post back if you have any specific scenarios which you need suggestion on handling. Obviously if your daughter is going to throw herself on the floor and kick and scream, that will require other tactics.

Ultimately what you want is your daughter's heart. You want her to want to please you. If you can train her to respond properly and promptly, with a good attitude now, you may be able to avoid the typical rebellion that comes during the teenage years.

Hi Char_june, you should be consistent to her, if you say no, you should show her that it is a no no. You should be able to control her not her controlling you. Me I have 6 years old son and he have mild autism. It's been really hard for me at first because he doesn't listen to me and ignore me. But after I listen to his therapy about what to do. It's a miracle! Also, communication is really important. Give time for our love ones, play with them, understand them and know everything about them. Specially me, I have to know everything, when he is going to pee, poop, if there something hurt, if he is uncomfortable. Because he cannot express it. Same with other kids. We should respect them and know there limitations. We have to be firm but loving.