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Educational Videos

A Return to Sensate Focus

Back by popular demand, I thought I would repost this sensate focus video. Sensate focus is a version of mindfulness or present oriented sex. Most people can get lost in their heads here and there. Some people really struggle with this problem during sex. In the following video, I describe how to get out of your head and get lost in the moment. When I ask clients about their best sexual experiences, they all say the same thing, "I was thinking of nothing." The reason for this is that they are fully enjoying their senses-touch, taste, smell, hearing, sight. Learn more from this video how to get lost in your own sexual experience.

Taking the Pressure Out of Sex (Revisited)

Back by popular demand, I thought I would repost this video about taking the pressure out of sex. One of the most common themes I hear from couples is that sex has become pressured and they are no longer interested. What causes sex to feel pressured? Is it the way couples communicate? Is it about being married or in a relationship for too long? How do we stop the pressure?

One tip is to practice mindfulness in your sexual interactions. Mindfulness is the process of being completely present minded and in the moment. You avoid thinking about the next step (the future), and you try to leave the past behind you. Essentially, you kiss and get lost in the kiss. What are the sensations or feelings? What is nice about kiss? If you are flirting, you get very present minded and enjoy flirting all by itself. What is fun about flirting? In what ways can flirting by itself be a great form of intimacy? Check out the video to learn more.

Strategic NOT Caring

In our lives, we have way too much to worry about! As my husband says often, "Adulting is hard!" Part of what makes being an adult difficult is all the responsibility we need to take on to survive. With each new resposibility comes new stressors and eventually we want to run off into the hills like a caveman! In this video, I teach you one skill that focuses on letting go of some of your worries or stress. You only have so much energy and effort to put into life. In this video, you can learn how to NOT care about some things so you have more energy to care about things that matter to you. Check it out to learn more.

Parenting: 4 Tips for Effective Consequences

Many couples come to me to discuss parenting issues. No one gives you a handbook on parenting and we all have permission to procreate! How do we do it? As a therapist, I do not encourage parents to use spanking as a means for discipline. However, what do you do when your kids are acting out? Many parents often have never learned other examples of parenting beyond giving spankings. They may yell at their kids here and there, but I think we all know that yelling is not exactly an effective consequence-at least not long term. In the spirit of helping parents out, the following tips are meant to give you easy, tangible consequences when kids misbehave.

About Sex Livestream-Sex as we Age

Our culture has a lot to say about sex. We tell people what you can and can't do. We tell you who is allowed to have sex and who is not. One group that often bears a lot of critisicm is people over the age of 50. It seems our culture has decided that older people cannot or should not have sex. Guess what? It's not true! Older people love sex and truly do enjoy continuing their sex lives. In this episode, we cover how to keep a love life strong into your older years. We also cover information about sex in assisted living facilities.