The all-out attraction this thing is incredible. Girls are drawn to the FunStation like the asshole tough guys that treat them like shit. The Hole from last year definitely bagged more curious ladies, but the private island was far more interactive. I could certainly use Nick Bakay to come 'round and provide us with a boring Tale of the Tape that makes no sense to anyone.

I'm one-and-done with Fire Isle this summer...but I already can't wait to see what lies in store for next season. I hope GHB is involved.

*FunStation can also be called Nipple Island, Nipple Village or Penipsula (and it may answer to Steve or Doug), as the likelihood of the keeping on your bikini top on is slimmer than your coke fiend sister.