hello@sonispeight.com

I’ve been drawing my way back to you, babe...

I’m back! And, even better, I hopefully have some wonderfully exciting news to share real soon. I’m not going to lie, it’s been a tough year or two. Lots of change, two house moves and some personal turmoil meant I ended up taking a break...From everything.

I can't fully articulate it in a way that sounds right, but basically this was me:

I got depressed, and it meant I stopped doing the things I loved. I even stopped drawing, I just couldn’t shake the big black cloud that was holding me down. I went very quiet. I lost my self confidence and avoided social media, generally couldn’t see a way forward.

I am lucky, I got a lot of support from those round me and it made me take everything into account, work out what made me happy and what didn’t. I was struck by a massive truth:

Drawing makes me...

So, I got selfish with it, I just drew for me. I was squirrelled away with a pencil and paper. I started small, just a doodle, then a bit more, added some colour and before I knew it I was drawing everyday again. I felt like my old self again, only even more focused than ever before.

Drawing makes me happy, I don’t have a choice. I’d keep doing this even if no one ever saw what I produce. I still have darker days, but I know how to handle them. I occasionally get weird anxiety that I’m heading into a dreadful abyss but, as long as I have a pencil with me, I have an escape route. It’s my magic wand, it tells silly jokes, creates new places to explore and introduces me to new characters.

I thought long and hard about writing this post, it seems a funny thing to share. I am no expert on mental health but I do think talking about it helps. I know different things will help different people, and that in the low points I wondered how I’d ever get back to normal. I can only tell you what worked for me.

Here’s a brief list of things, in no particular order, that helped:

I’m not sure who this post is for, probably mainly for me, but I want you to know that if you feel this way or have ever felt this way, you are so not alone.