-girish jalihal

Musings

So I have I have been nominated for the prestigious Liebster award by the lovely lady M. Saluja, but unfortunately I do not accept award nominations anymore. However, this particular award nomination came along with a very interesting list of questions that I would love to answer, simply because it gives me an opportunity to introspect even more than I usually do.

If the world is going to end tomorrow, what would you do?

I have often pondered over this question, if I were to know life ends tomorrow, what do I do today? Well, the most honest answer I have come up with is: nothing. My mind would be too chaotic to allow me to do anything but think of finding some way to avoid the impending disaster. But if I somehow manage to convince myself that the world is guaranteed to end and there is no escape, I would sit quietly and reach the deepest corners of my mind and jot down whatever comes to me at that point, then pass it to whoever is in a similar state as mine.

When did you think that you have grown up?

I have not grown up. I don’t think I will in the near future.

If you can trade your life for something, what would you ask for in return?

I won’t trade my life for anything unless it is to save humanity or some unrealistic scenario like that.

What is your deepest desire?

My deepest desire is to cause some sort of a revolution. Not necessarily a social one, maybe an academic or artistic one? I do not know how or what, but being the cause of a great revolution seems like a dream come true to me. Catalyze a big change in some way.

If you have unlimited money and time, what would you do?

Follow my deepest desire(s).

Who is your idol and why?

I simply do not have one. Having an idol implies that you wish to be like them in ways more than one. I have not seen a single individual who has impressed me with their ways in so many fields that I wish to emulate them everywhere. Nope.

If you are to write history again, what would you change?

I wouldn’t change a thing. If I wiped off the World Wars, they would take place but at a different time. Maybe at a time when the world couldn’t afford to have a war of such immense magnitude that could potentially wipe off existence as we know it. It is the horrors of our previous experiences that makes us learn lessons and change our ways in the future. Changing history would mean changing the present and the future. Maybe, we would be having a Holocaust in 2015 if history were any different.

Which is your favorite classical work and why?

There are plenty, but the one that comes to mind is Edgar Allan Poe’s poem ‘The Raven’. The narrative and the tone of the poem are beautiful and I just love the Gothic quality that the poem carries.

If you get a chance to meet someone from past or present, whom would you prefer meeting?

There are too many names here! Lots of writers, film makers and musicians that I would love to meet and ask them questions about their art. But right now the one name that comes to my mind is Indian poet and novelist Jeet Thayil. There are so many questions that I would ask him about his poems, about his book, his life, and also his musical projects!

The sheep gathered in the feild
Grazing the grass as always
When a goat walked by
The lamb was curious
He had heard about the Goat
But never seen him
Where are you going Mr. Goat?
Asked the lamb
I’m off to the Garden of Eden
The Goat replied
The Garden is only a legend Mr. Goat
Said the Lamb desperately
The Goat cackled with laughter
The animals sing the praises of the place
It is a place of infinite pleasures
I shall find it and make it my home
But Mr. Goat what if you don’t find it?
I will, as I’m determined to
I have faith in my senses
And loads of experience
Unlike the others I have read a lot about Eden
Would you like to join me?
The Goat asked with a smile
Just when the Lamb was about to reply,
His parents came hurriedly
And whisked him away
They asked Mr. Goat to leave
Never again should you speak to him
Mama sheep said
But momma he’s going to the Garden of Eden
There is no such place
Momma snapped back
The Goat will be eaten by the Tiger in the woods
Eden can be reached by following the shepherd
He knows what is best for us
The Goat is evil
He thinks he can reach Eden without the shepherd
He is a fool
Assured his poppa
The lamb watched the Goat slowly walk away
He did not want to defy his parents
But he wanted to go to Eden as well…

I was sitting in a room
Alone, and it was raining
The mood was melancholic
Sitting quietly in my bed
Feeling sick of being depressed
I looked up and saw a stranger
An old man, sitting on my bed
He was pale and ugly
And dressed in filthy rags
His face spoke of frustration
His eyes of cynicism
His head was an abyss
Full of darkness and depression
Arsenic thoughts and cyanide emotions
The apocalypse was his fantasy
Humans he despised
He spoke only of misery
Anger, rejection and lies
As I stared at this abysmal creature
I felt disgusted yet attracted
He was sucking me into emptiness
He seemed strangely familiar
I felt dreary…

A moment of happiness
A lovely memory stopped by
Or a loved one’s call
And I was distracted
A smile broke across my face
I glanced back at the edge of my bed
The stranger was there no more
All I could see instead
Was my reflection…