And if you have five seconds to spare, I'll tell you the story of my life...

Monday, July 11, 2005

The stars at night are big and bright...Lindsay Lohan is in the Twin Cities filming the Prairie Home Companion movie (she's been seen out shopping at vintage stores in Minneapolis). And last week I saw something random in the People and Places section of the Pioneer Press (or the Star Tribune, or the other one--there's like 50 daily publications here and I can't keep them straight). The short blurb mentioned that John C. Reilly, Maya Rudolph and some dude were spotted during July 4th weekend eating on the patio of La Grolla--an Italian restaurant that's within crawling distance from my apartment (literally). Now, Maya Rudolph I couldn't give a crap about (although she did interview Amy Sedaris for BUST magazine, which was cool), but I'd have died to meet John C. Reilly. Not that he's hot or anything, he's rather odd-looking. Most people probably remember him as Renee Zellweger's husband in Chicago, but the most awesome-est John C. Reilly movie is, of course, Boogie Nights, one of my favorite films in the whole history of the whole history. Dude, he was Reed Rothchild, a.k.a Chest Rockwell!!! I can't believe he was at La Grolla.

If I'd have happened by, I totally would have embarassed myself by staring like an idiot. I also would have tried to come up with some Boogie Nights quotes, thus embarassing myself further, but I'm not sure I'd have been able to stop myself. Like, "People say I look like Han Solo," or "That's not an MP, that's a YP--your problem!" Or "You're not the king of Dirk!"

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

I spent 4th of July weekend with friends in La Crosse, which was awesome. Tons of food, booze, and jet skis! The perfect midwestern summer holiday.

The house I stayed in had cable, which meant that I got to catch up on the current season of The Surreal Life on VH-1. This time it's Mini-Me from Austin Powers, some male model from the Old Navy commercials, some chick who won America's Next Top Model (and if she really is America's Next Top Model, what is she doing on The Surreal Life, anyhoo?), some scary drag queen-looking wrestler chick named China Doll, Jane Wiedlin from the Go-Go's (yeah!), Da Brat (a hip-hop star that I've never heard of, natch), and the guy who played Peter Brady--who was and still is frickin' HOT (He is! Shut up!)

Here's this season in a nutshell: Mini-Me and the Male Model (great band name, by the way) have become tight; China Doll is a scary-ass drunk; and Top Model Chick is in love with Peter Brady (who wouldn't be?). That's pretty much it, as far as I can see. Da Brat doesn't do much of anything except threaten people with bodily harm if they piss her off, and Jane Wiedlin sits around making wry observations and sipping martinis. If I were there, (and this is the one season where I'd totally love to be), I'd be hanging with Jane, drinking martinis and pumping her for dirt on Belinda Carlisle and battling the Top Model Chick for the affections of Peter Brady. I could totally handle the humiliation of being on the show just for those opportunities. I guess I'd have to do something first like become a drunk wrestler or star on a failed TV series, but truthfully I'd rather just skip all that and go straight to the Surreal Life. That show rocks!