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30.1.18

As I watch you go

Looking out my wide front windows this morning I can see mounds of fluffy white landscape, snow draped trees, and the stillness of a country morning. It's beautiful and quiet. If I wasn't so familiar with the frozen kiss of winter on my skin, it would almost be inviting. After a whirlwind morning of flying school lunches, messy yogurt-faced breakfasts and bartering for just one more kiss, the kids skipped down the icy driveway to school. Watching them step onto that bus never fails to fill my heart and mind with a million emotions and thoughts. I have yet to just wave goodbye with a sense of repetition and ease. I'm excited for them though.

Everyday I find great joy in being a part of instilling independence into my kids. I want them to grow into courageous, wise, and strong adults one day. And I know a lot of that comes from more of me letting go than holding on. The mornings are bittersweet because I often feel like they are this time lapse that is out of my control. That as they step on that bus tomorrow morning they will be stepping on it with Ugg boots, messy buns, cell phones, and roaring teenage hormones. But today I love watching their excitement as they take on that big yellow giant full of possibility, laughter, and their first taste of life on their own. They are smart, strong, and kind kids. They will be ok. I've done a good job and I will continue to do a good job. Not because I've discovered the long lost parent's manual or because I'm some prodigy, but simply because I trust God to equip me for the job. We don't say that very often, "I am doing a good job". I know for me it's probably a lot easier to write it than say it even now. I am doing a good job and so are you. Maybe today I will look in the mirror and tell myself something that will make me feel like a great mom instead of absorbing all the thoughts that make me believe otherwise. And I hope you do the same.Whether you're a mom or not, take some time and just tell yourself you're doing a good job. There's always room for improvement and I'm sure no matter what you're doing today, someone or something will tell you that you need to do better. But maybe for one minute you can hear your own voice saying, "good job".