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Jonathan loves three things - hair, a fierce brow and Game of Thrones. Watch every week as he breaks down new episodes. Warning: The following video contains vague references and confusing plot analysis, which are not really spoilers.

[opening theme
music plays]
Jonathan van Ness: Did you watch
Game of Thrones this week?
Erin Gibson: No, I don't
watch that show.
Jonathan van Ness: Are you okay?
Erin Gibson: Carlos broke
up with me.
Jonathan van Ness: I'm so sorry.
[sad music plays]
Jonathan van Ness: [sigh] I wish I were
talking about Game of
Jonathan van Ness: Thrones right now.
[Whoosh]
Jonathan van Ness: Oh my God, did you watch
Game of Thrones this week?
Erin Gibson: I did.
[Gay of Thrones
theme music plays]
Jonathan van Ness: Jonathan: Oh my God, so how
fashionable was that hand
Jonathan van Ness: choker this week?
To die for, right?
Jonathan van Ness: So then meanwhile he falls
off of his fucking horse.
Jonathan van Ness: I could not believe it
when he did that.
Jonathan van Ness: And then he was trying to
fight with his left hand.
Jonathan van Ness: I was like, how's a bitch supposed
to fight with her left hand?
Jonathan van Ness: How creepy is this
Dr. Evil looking motherfucker
Jonathan van Ness: with his pedophile, sorcerer
catching, weird like,
Jonathan van Ness: I am going to fucking cut you,
and tie your mouth up,
Jonathan van Ness: and put you in a wooden
coven. It's kind of like
Jonathan van Ness: Party Monster meets fucking
Dateline To Catch a Predator,
Jonathan van Ness: like altogether.
It was so creepy.
Jonathan van Ness: So then that little power
bottom queen met King Joffrey.
Jonathan van Ness: He was all like, fucking
with Margery, and she's
Jonathan van Ness: trying to get all up over
the other queen, because
Jonathan van Ness: she's like, no bitch,
I'm the queen now.
Jonathan van Ness: I'm about to fuck your son.
And then she's like,
Jonathan van Ness: bitch I'm the queen.
No, I'm the queen.
Jonathan van Ness: I'm the queen.
No, I'm the queen.
Jonathan van Ness: No, I'm the queen.
Jonathan van Ness: And then they went outside,
and I totally thought he
Jonathan van Ness: was going to get assassinated.
I was like, he
Jonathan van Ness: is so about to get JFK'd
right now in Winterfell.
Jonathan van Ness: Oh, and then my little baby
Theon, that fucking bitch
Jonathan van Ness: sold him. And you know
what was so crazy? He was just
Jonathan van Ness: here last week,
and he was fine.
[screaming is heard]
Jonathan van Ness: So then the queen was all
like, deity deity, when will
Jonathan van Ness: you bring home my
boyfriend Brother King back?
Jonathan van Ness: And then he was all like,
sweetie, we're doing everything we can.
Jonathan van Ness: But she's just upset,
because she hasn't got laid
Jonathan van Ness: in so long that she's
craving that Brother D.
Jonathan van Ness: You can see it in her eyes.
She misses him.
Erin Gibson: You're so good at this.
It's like watching the--
Erin Gibson: Ow.
Jonathan van Ness: Well, keep your head still.
Jonathan van Ness: So then, when you have
that incest rape village,
Jonathan van Ness: I could not believe, I was
so excited when that one
Jonathan van Ness: guy just had enough.
He said, I'm hungry. I'm going to kill you.
Jonathan van Ness: And then the other guy was like,
fuck it, I'm starving.
Jonathan van Ness: I'm going to kill you.
Jonathan van Ness: Girl, I tried to do a juice
cleanse this one time, about
Jonathan van Ness: 6 hours in, I was
ready to knife a bitch.
Jonathan van Ness: I want to know who does
the background music to
Jonathan van Ness: Game of Thrones, because
I swear to God, when
Jonathan van Ness: Christina Aguilera came out,
and she started speaking
Jonathan van Ness: that Valyrian language,
which I knew she going to
Jonathan van Ness: start speaking that shit.
The whole time I said,
Jonathan van Ness: you better stop calling her a
bitch. She's going to fuck you up.
Jonathan van Ness: Any who, the guy who does
the music, I was like, where is
Jonathan van Ness: my Whitney Houston,
"I'm Every Woman" right now--
Whitney Houston: Whitney: ♪ I'm every woman
Whitney Houston: ♪ It's all in me
Whitney Houston: ♪ I can read your
thoughts right now
Whitney Houston: ♪ Every one from A to Z
Whitney Houston: ♪ Whoa whoa whoa
Whitney Houston: ♪ Whoa whoa whoa
Erin Gibson: I love my hair.
I love you.
Erin Gibson: And I love
Game of Thrones.
Erin Gibson: Where are...
Jonathan van Ness: My dragons.
Jonathan van Ness: Girl, you are serving me some Valerian
realness tonight. Okay [inaudible]?
Erin Gibson: I thought this was going
to make me feel better,
Erin Gibson: but it didn't.
[sad music plays]
[she whines]
Erin Gibson: Carlos.