It will take more than this rubbish to grind me down

IN case you didn’t know,
I’m “on the brink”…of
being FITTER than ever!

You might have seen The
Sun’s front page story about
me being “on the brink” and
looking “worse for wear” in
Dubai last week.
All I can say is that it must
have been a VERY f***ing slow
news day!

If you read the story, there’s
no mention of me touching a
drop of booze – because I didn’t!
All they are basing it on is
a few sketchy photos of me
looking knackered.

So here’s what really
happened.

After spending a
week with my
folks in Newcastle,
I flew 3,000 miles
to Dubai, went
straight to the gym
and then gave a
talk at an event
before playing pool
with fans.
I hadn’t slept
much so I had a nap
in a chair in the 120
degree heat.

And some prick
– who I thrashed at
pool for £1,500 –
must’ve been that
desperate to make his money
back he decided to sell his pics
to The Sun. Cheers for that!

So the headline should have
been “JET-LAGGED BLOKE
FALLS ASLEEP IN THE SUN
ON HOLIDAY”.
But then I suppose that
wouldn’t sell papers.
The Sun also ran a story
saying I was going to die from
drinking too much Red Bull. To set the record straight, I
hadn’t had a Red Bull for six
years – the caffeine isn’t any
good for us. But it was hot and
I was sick of coffee after drinking
the stuff for 19 months.

So I had a couple of cans to
keep me going after the flight.
So am I drinking too many
soft drinks – or boozing again?
I wish they’d make their
f***ing minds up! I had a top time in Newcastle
and in Dubai and I didn’t touch I’ve never done anything to
The Sun but they seem to have
it in for me.

But it’ll take more than a
load of rubbish like that to
keep me down.
At least I know I can trust
one newspaper – the good old
Sunday Sport!

STUART Pearce knows his
stuff but leaving David
Beckham out of Team GB is
a mistake.
I would have taken Becks to
Euro 2012 AND the Olympics
because he’s still a great
player and an inspirational
fella as well.
He has a positive influence
on whoever
he meets.
And if you
stick near
David, there’s
usually plenty
of fit women
knocking
about too!

My whole lotta love for Italians

I’M chuffed that Italy beat
Germany to make the final
of Euro 2012.
After spending four years
at Lazio, I’ll always have a
soft spot for the Italian
people.
I had a top relationship
with the Lazio fans.
A few years back, I went
to Italy on holiday and I
drove into the countryside
and went into this tiny café,
and the boss recognised us.
He said: “Are you Paul
Gascoigne?”
I really
didn’t want
any attention,
so I said:
“Nah, sorry
mate. I’m just
a lookalike.”
But he went
and pulled a
picture of us
off his wall!
And within
45 minutes
there were
about 6,000
fans outside
this café in
the middle of nowhere.
I spent five hours signing
autographs and shaking
hands – it was great.
After that, I knew that if
I ever went back there
they’d still go crazy for us.
The president of Lazio
even invited us back to lift
the trophy with the team!
If I’m completely honest,
it’s always nice seeing the
Germans get beat!

I’VE not had the best week,
but it’s been even worse
for the banks.
Problems with RBS and
Natwest systems stopped
people getting paid their
wages.
Then Barclays boss Bob
Diamond was fined for
fiddling the lending rate
between banks.
Does any bank ever
make a mistake that works
in the customers’ favour?

I CAN’T believe the Queen has shaken hands with
former IRA commander Martin McGuinness.
It’s great to see them burying the hatchet like,
but this means I’m scarier than a bloke whose
organisation killed thousands of people.
When I won the FA Cup with Spurs, I gave Princess
Diana a cheeky kiss at the end. The Queen was so
scared of getting a smacker as well she banned us from going to Buckingham Palace!

THINGS are so bad in
this country that even
our dogs are depressed.
But at least they’ll
be able to get their
paws on Prozac-style
anti-depressants by
the end of the year.
Which is good news
for my dad’s pet pooch,
Maggie.
When Newcastle are
on the telly, she sits on
his lap. But every time
something happens in
the game my old man
jumps up and gives her
a slap by accident.
Maggie’s wise to it
now and hides behind
the sofa when the Toon
are on, but I’ll get her
some doggie Prozac to
calm her down!
I hope she’s not “on
the brink” – like me!

IT’LL be great if the Spice Girls get back together for a concert this year.
They were always a good luck charm for the
England team in the 1990s.
I remember once, we were on the team coach
and we were all singing, “If you wanna be my lover,”
to David Beckham.
I think it was his
debut and we won 3-0!
Maybe the England
lads should have had a
sing-a-long to that
before their game
against Italy!

NOT many women
look FIT dressed as a
witch – but Angelina
Jolie isn’t just any
woman!
I’ve seen set pics of
her from new
film Malficent
in England and
she looks great.
She’s one of
my favourite
actresses, so I
couldn’t believe
it when I met
her a few weeks ago.
She looked even more
stunning in the flesh!
I said to her: “Excuse
me, could I have a
quick photo,” but she
couldn’t because
she had her kid
with her and I
respect that.
I think I’m in
the same league
as hubby Brad
Pitt like, when it
comes to looks!

Sing it loud…we’re English and proud!

I WAS gutted to see England knocked
out of Euro 2012 but not surprised.
But one thing that made me proud
was every member of the team singing
the National Anthem.
And Roy Hodgson deserves credit for
making that happen…well done, Roy!
When we faced Moldova once, they
didn’t have the National Anthem to play.
But Ian Wright said we should still sing.
We followed his lead and belted it out
without any music.
It may have sounded awful but it
showed what top team spirit we had.