Dear Preston: My Former Boss Is Spreading Lies About Me

January 31, 2012

I am in a horrible situation and don’t know what to do. I am begging you for your wisdom and advice!

I was employed by a wedding planner four years ago, and I realized this was my dream job. I was only taken on for maternity cover and then dismissed as the company wasn’t expanding and couldn’t afford to keep me on. I left on good terms with my former boss — or so I thought.

I had a couple of other jobs at the time as I needed to support my kids (I am a single mum), but all the time I dreamed of having my own wedding planning business. I spent so many nights remembering how happy my hard work made my former brides and how elated I was to be doing that as my job.

So, two years ago I decided that I couldn’t deny myself this dream; I took the plunge and set up my own planning business. It’s been a long road and still is, but I am thrilled to bits at the way it’s going. All of my clients — past and present — have been so happy. I cannot express how good my job makes me feel and how happy my brides are.

Recently, I discovered that my former boss has been contacting all the vendors and suppliers in our area saying that I am stalking her, stealing her clients, etc… This could not be further from the truth. Her business practice leaves a lot to be desired, but I wouldn’t dream of telling the world how she works. I have morals and values.

What do I do? Please help me!

Thank you, A Sad (but on the way to being a successful) Planner

Dear Planner,

I love your story. Not everyone understands that once you get the planning and event bug, it’s not easy to let go.

My advice to you is to do nothing.

I once had a manager who I had to let go, because he was very abusive not only to my employees but also to my vendors. He proceeded to bad mouth me and my company every single chance he got. I was hurt, and, on many occasions, I thought about calling him out on his behavior. But I didn’t. Most of the folks he spoke to knew me as well, and they didn’t believe his lies. Eventually, it blew over.

You’re not guilty of any of the things your former boss is accusing you. Better still, your brides are happy, and you are happy. This is all that matters. It takes a lot of energy to get involved with hearsay nonsense: why bother? Your former boss will lose steam, and this will blow over.

I want to add, though, that it sounds a bit like you still carry some contempt for your former boss. I understand. I’d feel the same way. But please work on letting go. You’re only hurting yourself. Follow your dreams, and be the best planner you know how to be.

Dear Readers, has someone in your industry every badmouthed you and your work? How did you handle the situation? Please share.