Tough Mountain Challenge Does. It. Better.

I have never participated in a Tough Mudder. But I’ve kind of always been drawn to them. Blame it on some weird, G. I. Jane-style aspirations leftover from when I was a little tomboy, I guess.

That being said, I’m not really into 12 miles of torture. (I can’t even run 12 miles on the street.) What really draws me is the [completely delusional] mental Instagram gallery that I’ve conjured: Me laughing with mud-flecked cheeks and perfect, white teeth, Darcy falling ever-so-gracefully into Barker Pond, some stranger being theatrically pelted by snowguns in midsummer. I like the idea of challenging myself (but not dying)—and then rewarding myself (a lot). With a not-insignificant quantity of beer. If you can relate, then Sunday River’s Tough Mountain Challenge is probably the Mudder for you.

Tough Mountain Challenge takes Mudder… ers over a variety of natural and manmade hurdles on a five-kilometer course and finishes amidst an enormous party. Among other things, there will be a beer garden. If you’re not sold by beer gardens (though I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t be), here are three more reasons that the Tough Mountain Challenge is, pretty much, the best one out there:

Grown-up slip ‘n slide. I know, is there any other kind? Well, yes, the ordinary kind, which is—believe it or not—meant for children. But the Tough Mountain Challenge has its very own version, the “Slip, Slide & Die” obstacle. Hill, tarp, Dawn. Or something like that. Whichever form it takes this year, reenacting the follies of youth with a completely legit excuse is always a good time.

Again, beer. There is a beer station in the middle of the race. Yeah, there is.

The aforementioned snowguns. Where else can you complete a 5k on ski slopes and meet more than dozen angry snowguns head-on? Serious bragging rights, right there.

This year’s Tough Mountain Challenge takes place July 26 and it’s already 75% full, so if you’re interested, get your butt over to the registration site, pronto.