Jul 27, 2015

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" It's a question children are asked regularly, but my 9 year old daughter hesitated before answering. She looked down at the ground. Then she looked up, cleared her throat, and her words flowed: "A missionary and a singer and an actress and an astronaut and a mechanic and a scientist..." Some kids may have a pat answer that pleases adults, but not my girl.

I smiled. We've talked about this before, she and I. "There's no reason you can't be an astronaut and a scientist and mechanic. In fact, astronauts have to do a lot of science and need to be able to fix machines. Then maybe you could sing and act for fun - as a hobby. It could even be part of your missionary work. You might have to do that on vacations..." Who am I to squash her dreams?

But you know one question I've never heard anyone ask her?

"What does God want you to be when you grow up?"

Oh, I'm not talking about general character traits like being honest or loving - though of course God wants us to have those traits. No, I mean something far more specific: What are God's plans for your life? What is he going to do with you?

I recently asked my daughter this, and from her puzzled expression, I could see it was something she'd never considered.

I didn't try to answer the question for her. That's between her and God. And just asking the question will have her thinking about it for some time, no doubt. And perhaps that's enough. Too many of us just don't think about what God's plans for us are. Perhaps it's an American trait - part of the idea that as Americans, we can do anything we put our mind to. There's nothing wrong with that, per se. But as Christians, we have a bigger purpose.

Trouble starts, however, when we decide for ourselves what God wants us to do. Like Jonah, who didn't want to minister to his enemies. Or like Phil Vischer, creator of Veggie Tails, who explains this trouble in his book Me, Myself, and Bob. Once Veggie Tales was taken away from Bischer, he began to realize that he'd never asked God what He wanted to do with his life. He never asked God if he should start Veggie Tales, or any other endeavor. That's why the Veggie Tales empire that Vischer imagined was swept out from under him. Ask God first, Vischer, now older and wiser, stresses.

Of course, if you ask your child what God wants to do with her life, your child will inevitably ask how God will make this clear to her. There is no pat answer. He might speak to your child audibly, as he did young Samuel in the Old Testament (1 Sam. 3). He might put a thought in her head or a feeling in her heart - something that aligns with the Bible. He might speak to her through His Word, making a certain verse or passage stick with her. Or he might just put her in situations that make it obvious - or not - that she should be doing a certain thing. (At his construction job, my brother once injured the fingers on one hand, and had to have them sewn back on. A few months later, doing similar work, he nearly severed the fingers off the opposite hand. He said, "I think God is trying to tell me something." Soon after, he went into ministry.)

We just don't know how God will speak to us. Which means we have to be attentive. We have to actively listen for him, and pay attention when he's calling.

But to do that, children first need to know they should be listening. And that God will use them...if they are willing.

Jun 12, 2015

The morning was like many recent mornings. My daughter seemed too tired to listen to my brief instructions about what she needed to do before we started school work. I had to repeat them at least six times. Then she took an hour to dress and brush her teeth and hair. Then, instead of doing school work, she chose to stare out the window, daydreaming.

When I told my 6 year it was time to start school, he said "No!," then tried to run away from me. (Why did we ever move into a house with a circular floor plan??) When I finally caught him, disciplined him, and got him seated at the kitchen table, I marked the rows of handwriting practice I wanted him to do. He purposefully chose to do rows I didn't mark. When I made him come back to the table and do the rows I marked, he argued with me, saying, "You hate me! You're the worst Mommy ever!"

That was it. I broke into tears. Here I was trying to do right by my children, and all they could do was fight me and make everything more difficult.

My son's heart instantly softened and he gave me a big hug as I reminded him, "I do the things I do, and ask the things I ask of you, because I love you."

He patted my back and I wiped away my tears of frustration and hurt. Then he turned around and did the work I had asked him to do, this time without complaint.

Parenting isn't for the faint of heart, and there's nothing wrong with having one of those days when all you want to do is cry. In fact, crying makes you feel a wee bit better. And if you don't hide those tears from your children, wet cheeks can suddenly put things in perspective for them.

As for me, while my children took new interest in doing their school work, I took up some housework and prayed.

"God, thank you for reminding me how I look in your eyes. I know I often don't listen to you as well as I should. I often take too long to do the things you ask me to do. Sometimes my heart rebels and I say "No!" Sometimes I wonder how a God who loves me can let certain things happen. I am a sinner, Lord. Thank you for showing me grace. And please help me to teach my children about your amazing grace, too."

Amen.

“...He shall wipe away every
tear from their eyes; and death shall be no more; neither shall there be
mourning, nor crying, nor pain, any more: the first things are passed
away.”

That sometimes works for my dawdler, but often it just gets her stressed out. And if she's busy being stressed out, she's not doing whatever else she needs to do.

Instead, what I've found is more helpful is to get her started with whatever job she needs to get done, then set the timer for, say, 10 minutes - telling her that this is only to help her feel time passing. When the 10 minutes have passed, I have her evaluate what she's accomplished, if anything. Then I set the timer for another 10 minutes...and so on.

When I use this method, I no longer hear things like, "It can't possibly be time to leave yet! Only a minute has passed!" I don't believe that when my daughter says such things they are an exaggeration. I think that's how the passage of time really feels to her. We often say that our dear daughter just has a different internal clock. By using this method of noting how time passes, we are helping her to adjust her internal clock to become more inline with the rest of the world.

Is this a quick fix? Nope. But it does help her...and I think that over time this method will be a good chunk of the answer to reducing her dawdling time.

Mar 2, 2015

The house was an utter mess. Toys everywhere. Dishes piled in the sink. And a filthy kitchen floor. Try as I might to teach my children to always remove their shoes before they come into the house, they rarely do, and end up tracking dirt, mud, and debris over our light-colored floors. It doesn't help that their daddy refuses to remove his shoes before he comes into the house.

So maybe you can imagine my grumpiness as I, tired from a long morning of homeschool and disobedient children, pulled out the vacuum and began sucking up the mess on the kitchen floor. I found my thoughts were grumbling, resentful, even angry. "Why can't the kids learn to remove their shoes at the door? They aren't new here - and this isn't a new rule. I'm so tired of constantly cleaning up their messes. They need to learn to clean up after themselves!" And so I became grumpier. And more resentful. And more angry.

Then POP! My thought bubble burst. God busted in and I literally stopped vacuuming, stood up straight, and thought, "Why am I grumpy and complaining? Why am I resentful and angry?"

And I began to pray: "Lord, please forgive me for my wrong thoughts and attitudes. Instead, I thank you for the dirt and mud on the kitchen floor. Because that dirt means you've blessed me with young children. Children I prayed earnestly for. One child who is a miracle, escaping death on several occasions. Another who is a miracle because he was born full term. And I am thankful because I have a husband - a man I prayed years for. I am thankful he doesn't take off his shoes! Because the dirt he tracks in reminds me he lives here with me, every day. And that he's an answered prayer.

Feb 3, 2015

Last weekend, my 9 year old daughter's behavior was hindering me. I can't even recall what she was doing. I just know I was utterly exhausted and trying to get a little housework done. And then it hit me.We'd never talked about her role in the household. So I set aside the dishes and cuddled up beside her.

We're in the middle of reading Laura Ingalls Wilder's Farmer Boy, one of our favorite books in the series. It fit in perfectly with what I wanted to say. "Think about Almanzo [the main character in the book]. He had a very specific role in his family. What was it?"

"Chores," my daughter replied.

"Yes, but be more specific. Who was he doing chores for? Wasn't he doing chores to help his father?"

She agreed this was correct.

"What about Almanzo's sisters? What was there role in the family?" I asked.

"They work in the kitchen and stuff and help their mother," she said.

"Exactly. Their role in the family was to help their mother with her work. Now, what is your role in our family?"

She shrugged. And why wouldn't she? Nobody had ever explained to her what her role in our family is. So I clarified; her role is to be a helper - primarily for me, but also to help and serve others in the household. That's part of her job as a daughter in the Seleshanko household.

My daughter's face lit up. She'd never considered that she had an important role in our household - a role that really matters. She just knew she had to do chores she didn't much like. She couldn't see the purpose behind those chose and why her involvement in them helped the whole family. Suddenly, she felt pride that she could help everyone in the family by doing very obtainable things.

I think this is something most modern day children are lacking. In Almanzo's day, children knew if they didn't perform their role for the family, it could have serious consequences. If they didn't help plant the fields, there might be no food to eat the following year. Today, children are rarely told that their role in the household is important.

But as my daughter really stepped things up and not only began doing her chores more quickly and willingly, but offered to do more to help me around the house, I realized that children need to know not so much that they are Important with a capital I - an overstatement that has lead to a self-centered generation - but that what they do is important.

Jan 21, 2015

Every once in a while, our insurance company gives us child safety kits - brochures, really, designed to give to police in case our children get lost or stolen. This is not something any parent likes to think about, and such ID kits are not something we're likely ever to need. But...if the need did arrive, we'd never forgive ourselves for not having the information handy.

So last weekend, I finally got my act together and filled them out for the first time. I didn't tell my children what the kits were for; I just told them I was going to take their fingerprints - a statement that was met with happy squeals. I jokingly called the photos I took specifically for the kits "mug shots." And the kids loved comparing their weight and height, too. A fun time was had by all, and in just a few minutes, I had a complete kit for each child.

Where to Get Child ID Kits

If you don't have a current child safety kit for each of your kids, it really is worth the little bit of time it takes to complete them. If your insurance company doesn't give them away for free, you may feel uncomfortable about ordering kits online. (You might think: "How do I know this is legit and not some weirdo collecting info on children with families?) So the FBI recommends getting kits from the National Child Identification Program - although there is a fee for kits from this source. (I do love, however, that churches can order bunches of these kits to give every child in their congregation or community.) The Polly Klaas Foundation (named after a famously abducted child) offers kits absolutely free, and is a known and legit organization.But wherever you get your child safety kit, it should include:

A place to put fingerprints (along with instructions and ink)

A place for a current photo

A place to record, periodically, your child's weight and height

A place to record birth marks and other identifying features

A place for recording basic contact information (such as address and phone number).

Some kits may even include a place for a DNA sample.

Some Other Important Safety Measures

In addition to having a child safety kit, it's an excellent idea to always have a recent, clear, headshot-style photo of each child in your purse/wallet or on your cell phone. This way, if your child does get lost, security or police have instant access to an identifying photo.

Your child should also play a part in his or her own safety. For a complete list of things you should teach every child from the time they are toddlers - with a refresher every few months, click here.

Jul 23, 2014

All children need to learn to respect others. One way they can show lots of respect is by not interrupting when others are talking. I have an easy - yes easy! - and practical way to teach children how to avoid interrupting taught to me years ago by a preschool teacher.

Step 1: Explain to your child why interrupting is so disrespectful. It's best to do this when you're both rested and in a good mood - and before your child starts interrupting. Cuddle, look your child in the eye, and use a friendly tone of voice. Explain that interrupting is just like saying "Nobody else matters. I'm the only person who matters right now."

Step 2: Explain the Interrupting Rule. When your child wants to speak to you, but you are speaking to someone else, they should say nothing, but put their hand on your shoulder or, if they can't reach your shoulder, you arm. You will then place your hand over your child's as a silent way of saying, "I know you want to speak to me. Give me just a moment, please." Maintain this position; then, within in a minute or two, stop and ask your child, "Thank you for waiting, honey. What do you need?"

Step 3: Explain that if you're having an important phone conversation, one that can't be interrupted, you will warn your child before you get on the phone. In such cases, your child will have to wait until you are off the phone to speak to you - unless there is a true emergency. (Be sure to define this, because usually a child's idea of an emergency is different from an adult's. I tell my children that if someone is dying, bleeding a lot, or gets burned, that is an emergency.)

A few other tips:

* Set a good example. If you interrupt others, your children will notice and conclude that interrupting is no big deal.

* Once your kids know that interrupting is disrespectful, they will tell everyone - adults and kids - this new-found information, often in a way that others will find rude. Teach your children never to yell "I was talking first!", but to instead politely and calmly overlook the interruption. With siblings, this will be harder to accomplish, so you may need to teach your children to quietly and politely say, "I'm sorry, but I was speaking first. May I finish?"

* Don't neglect to memorize some Bible verses about the importance of respect. For example:

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.'Honor your father and mother' (this is the first commandment with a promise), 'that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.'” Ephesians 6:1-3

"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves." Philippians 2:3

"Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor." Romans 12:10

Feb 26, 2014

Your cheerful "Good morning!" is met with a frown. Your kiddo complains about any type of breakfast you offer him. The least little thing makes your daughter cry. Or throw a temper tantrum. Or start World War Three. These are The Really Hard Days of dealing with grumpy children - and every mom has experienced them. But there are ways to deal with grumpy kids and get through the day with your sanity in tact:

1. Find at least 5 minutes to tuck yourself away from the kids to pray and read a little of the Bible. Put the kids in front of the television for a few minutes if you have to - because you especially need to focus on God on Really Hard Days.

2. Set aside your plans. Your children are going to need more of your attention than usual, so don't focus on housework or other chores, and try to cancel appointments.

3. Give your children lots of cuddles, hugs, and smiles. Even if they act like they don't want them.

4. Read to your children. If they will cuddle on the couch with you, that's great. But if that causes squabbling, set them on the floor with something to color or draw while you read.

6. Take baths. Water is very soothing to many children. Give them each a bath - by themselves - and see if they don't feel better. 7. If it's sunny, make sure the windows are uncovered. Open some windows or doors to let in fresh air. If it's a dark day, turn on some lights. If you can get your child to read, color, do puzzles, or do some other activity under a bright lamp, all the better. If it's near the end of the day, dim the lights.

8. Remove clutter. If the house is a cluttered mess, it's stressful, and that's not going to help anyone on a Really Hard Day. Take a few minutes to pick up.

9. Get moving. If you can, go outdoors and encourage your kids to run or do other vigorous activities. If you must remain indoors, try jumping to upbeat music.10. Avoid the television. Yes, I know. On Really Hard Days it's easier to set the kids in front of the TV. But the fact remains that TV time tends to lead to poorer behavior in your children. At the very least, postpone TV time until late in the day.

11. End the day well. You may be ever-so-anxious for bedtime, but don't let that make you rush through it. Make sure your children receive your full attention during tucking in. Read. Cuddle. Pray together about the day, asking for tomorrow to be happier. Then kiss them goodnight.

Sep 13, 2013

Being told your child needs some pretty serious medical
treatment is the last thing a parent wants to hear. A year ago, I was there. My
son, Xander, needed a bone marrow transplant. And while the last year has been
anything but a picnic, through the ups and downs of his treatment, God has
taught me a lot about grace. Granted, the following are more applicable during
large blocks of hospital time, but maybe there's a truth here that can be
helpful in your own brand of stress.

Ask questions
When you're faced with a lot of decisions that may affect the long-term health
of your child, you can feel pretty helpless. While I frequently have to tell my
husband "I don't know," I ask a lot of questions where Xander's care
is concerned. Write your questions down—it's clichéd, but there's an app for
that, so keep a list of questions on your smartphone, if you use one. That way
you don't forget what you need to ask.

Find reasons to laugh

In July, Xander underwent his second surgery in five days (to replace his
central line, which is used for giving IV medications and fluids over a long
period of time). When I got down to the holding area, pre-surgery, the surgeon
asked me what my expectations were of what would happen. “Central line placement,”
I told him.

"There's not to be a bone marrow biopsy today?" he asked.

I stared at him, bewildered. "No," I said slowly. "That's not
scheduled for a couple weeks."

Turns out, one of the physician's assistants on Xander's case had seen that
Xander needed this procedure, so he thought he'd kill two birds with one
stone—but hadn't informed anyone else!

In situations like these, it's easy to be upset—the left hand doesn't know what
the right hand is doing—but the head doc on Xander's case was relieved when I
laughed when she told me what had happened.

God's Got ThisMy pastor, Dan Sutherland, introduced this motto to our congregation in
2012. It became something I clung to during the past year. Very little in life
is within our control, and when you're going through a trial, it's important to
remember this. With Xander's transplant, we could choose the doctors who would
treat him and the drugs they would use, but whether it worked—that was all in
God's hands. While we've got a spunky three-year-old now, we know we're still
wandering through the woods looking for the meadow as far as Xander's health is
concerned.

Xander

Bible Time

I think my dependence on God got stronger throughout this
whole experience—it almost has to when you realize how little control you have
over this kind of situation. While I didn't find near as much time to read my
Bible as I would have liked (or probably should have), I was able to sneak an
earbud in and listen with the YouVersion app on my phone. Listening to God's
word definitely was a quick way for me to get an attitude adjustment on my bad
days.

Prayer

During this time, my prayers were frequently short snippets
or sentences, dispersed throughout the day - not one long conversation at once,
but a bit here and there throughout the day. If I had it to do all over again,
I'd probably plan to do things differently, although with the irregularity in my
son’s five month treatment, it might not have been possible to have a regular
prayer schedule.

Grace

The biggest thing I learned through this whole experience is
to offer everyone grace; even my husband had to receive it on multiple
occasions. Stress leads to crankiness, making you lash out at everyone in your
path. But if you offer everyone grace and keep a positive outlook, they'll thank
you for it—and you'll show Christ to everyone you meet. You may even get a
chance to share the Gospel with those who want to know how you keep such a
positive attitude!

Liberty Speidel is a wife, mom, and writer of mysteries and science
fiction who blogs at Word Wanderings. Though happiest at her computer creating fictional worlds, she
enjoys baking, yarn crafts, hiking with her family, and taking very long
walks with her family's Labrador Retriever. She and her family reside
in Kansas. You can learn more about her son's medical struggles here and here.

Jul 10, 2013

Coveting, or wanting what others have, is a huge problem in our society. It's what fuels occupy protestors. It's behind the cry for higher taxes. It's the basis of most television commercials.
I think we all fall into the trap of coveting at least once in a while. Have you ever thoughtL "I wish my husband helped with the kids like her's does" or "It must be great to have a husband who helps with the housework. Wish mine did." Oops. That's coveting. And how many times have I heard other mothers say things like, "I wish we were able to take a yearly vacation like the Smith family." Or, given the right tone of voice, "It must be nice to have a grandma who watches the kids for you once a week." Oops again; that's coveting.But as mothers, we are concerned not just with our personal sin, but about modeling correct thinking and behavior for our children. I feel pretty certain none of us wants our kids to grow up thinking everything should be given to them, or that if they want something somebody else has to get it for them. But with coveting being such a major feeling these days, how can we prevent them from growing up this way?* Model good work ethic.

* Avoid speaking covetous thoughts aloud. But if you slip, by all means, let your kids hear you ask God for forgiveness. You might also use such an occasion as a way to start a conversation about what coveting is and how the Ten Commandments show us it's wrong.

* Let your kids work for stuff. For example, if your daughter really wants a new toy, suggest that she earn money to buy it herself. Not only does this help improve a child's work ethic, but it helps her learn not to be wasteful by not taking proper care of things. (And no, she doesn't have to go get a job at a local business, or even with a neighbor. It's just fine to give her extra chores around the house and then pay her for them.)* Encourage your children to give to those in need. Help them to see that it's their personal responsibility to help the needy.

* Volunteer at a shelter or travel to a third world country (even if only via the Internet). Help your kids see how much they truly have.

* Encourage thankfulness. Every day, have your child thank God for at least one thing. Once in a while, have each child write (in words or pictures) things they are thankful for. When times are tough for your child and he is struggling with covetness, ask him to name a few things he is especially grateful for.

* Read 1 Kings 21. In this story, a king's covetness leads to murder. It's an extreme example, but see if you and your child can think of other stories where jealousy and covetness lead to bad things.

* Help your child think things through. If she is upset because she doesn't have the latest video game, ask, "If you had it, would you really be any happier? What if your friend got 10 new games - would you still feel as happy?" Encourage your child to come to the conclusion that things you can't buy are what truly make us happy.

"No matter how much you want,laziness won’t help a bit,but hard work will reward youwith more than enough." Proverbs 13:4

"You shall not covet
your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his
male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to
your neighbor.”Exodus 20:17

"...make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you,so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody."I Thessalonians 4:11-12

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters..." Colossians 3:23

"For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: “The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.” II Thessalonians 3:10

"Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." 1 Timothy 5:8

"[Let them do] something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need." Ephesians 4:28

Apr 24, 2013

Sometimes I completely loose my enthusiasm for home keeping. I find myself dragging around the house, putting off chores - or spending my time only on fun things, instead of doing my real job. But there's one easy way to motivate myself. Next time you find yourself putting off chores, give it a try.

My secret? Do the chore. I know, I know; this sounds like a sneaky way of getting you to work when you don't want to. But trust me: Commit to doing it just once.

* As you do the chore, time yourself. If you have a stopwatch, use it. Otherwise, write down your beginning and ending times. Don't trust your memory! You want as accurate a time as possible without getting all type-A about it.

* Do the chore at a normal pace. Don't rush and don't be lackadazical.

* Now note how long it took you.

Very often, I think you'll be surprised how little time the chore takes. For example, I used to dread folding laundry. It felt like it took forever. Then I timed myself and discovered it took me, on average, 5 to 10 minutes to fold everyone's clothes. Just 10 minutes? Wow! This completely changed my attitude about folding laundry and now whenever I'm tempted to put it off, I remember it takes a really short amount of time - and then it's DONE and I feel better.

How do you motivate yourself on days when home keeping is the last thing you want to do?

Feb 15, 2013

Wednesday, I introduced the topic of raising mission-minded
kids. We talked about exciting their spirits and equipping them to share. Today
we’ll dive into a third element: Elevating their global awareness. This
encompasses both education and action. Below you’ll find a number of resources
for teaching your kids about missions and global cultures and concerns, but
you’ll also find practical ideas for getting personally involved in missions,
right where you are.

Educational Resources

You can raise cultural awareness in many ways. Geography and
language study are obvious choices, but they’re only two avenues. Consider
taking field trips to cultural fairs, ethnic celebrations and museums. Invite
multi-cultural friends over for an international potluck or explore exoticflavors with your own culinary experiments. The possibilities are endless! Here
are a few of my favorite books and websites to get you started:

·Passport to the World {book} Written
by Craig Froman, this book offers fast facts, cultural details, tons of photos
and interesting stats about 26 different countries. All of this is presented
from a missional perspective of reaching the world for God’s glory.

Target Age: 9-12

·A Faith Like Mine {book} : This is
not a Christian book, but it is an excellent resource for teaching children
about major world religions. Vibrant photographs, maps and symbols help
introduce 11 different faiths, including Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, and
Islam. It discusses their basic tenets, major holidays, traditions and unique
characteristics.

Target age: 8 and up

·My
Passport to India {website} : This is my absolute favorite! I wish one
existed for every country. This site features high quality videos with
excellent content. Families follow an American guy as he explores India: the
culture, the people and what God is doing there. It also includes family
devotionals and activities for further exploration and involvement.

Target age: 6 and up

·Quest
for Compassion {website} : Hosted by Compassion, Intl., this website offers
an interactive exploration of four countries: El Salvador, Brazil, Ghana and
Bangladesh. Kids create a buddy character and then embark on a cultural
scavenger hunt to learn about education, economics, living conditions and more
in that country.

Target age: 6-10

·The Caravan
{website} : Hosted by IMB, this site explores the continent of Asia with all
sorts of activities! Photographs, maps, stories, printables, coloring pages …
seriously, a ton of stuff. There is also a tab with helps for parents and
teachers.

Target age: Preschool – 6th grade

Ideas for At-Home
Missions

Continuing our pattern of concentric circles, let’s start at
home. Before children can care what happens on the other side of the planet,
they need to care about what happens near home. What can they see that might
increase their compassions and awareness? Here are some activities to initiate
service and conversations:

·Neighborhood Prayer Walks: A prayer walk is
exactly what it sounds like – you walk around a neighborhood praying for each
person you see and home you pass. It’s easy to do with your children and need
not be conspicuous. Simply go for a walk. The benefits include exercise, prayer
training, community awareness, and possible interactions with neighbors that
could lead to opportunities to share the Gospel or serve in tangible ways.

·Participate in Service Projects: Every community
offers abundant opportunities to serve, regardless of your children’s ages.
When my kids were toddlers, we would prepare and deliver meals for shut-ins or
new mothers. We still do that, but now we also help by shoveling snow, raking
leaves or weeding gardens for our neighbors. We’ve participated in mural
painting projects, food banks and coat drives. My kids’ favorite activities,
however, involve hosting garage sales or lemonade and cookie stands to raise
money for orphanages or our local crisis pregnancy center.

·Donations: Got clutter? Use it as an opportunity
to teach your kids about poverty and missions!

You don’t have to leave your home to make an impact
overseas, but you do need to be intentional and take the initiative. Here are
some reasons to do that and tips on how to start.

Most missionaries say feeling isolated is their greatest
struggle. They don’t fit in there and they don’t fit in here; they feel
nomadic. By building relationships with these families already on the field,
you’ll encourage them while gaining an indispensable education for yourself and
your children. Relationships are the foundation to healthy partnerships – and
that’s exactly what missions should be!

·Adopt a Child: For a monthly donation, you can
adopt a child through Compassion
International, World Vision or a
number of similar organizations. You can correspond with these children and
their families; learn about their lives and what struggles they face. If
sponsoring a child is too much, consider a one-time gift of farm animals,
medications or other necessities.

·Adopt a Missionary: Select one or two families
that you know or that your church supports and get to know them. Post their
picture in your home. Talk about them with your kids. PRAY for them regularly.
Try to reach out to them consistently. Once every couple months is fine. Let
them know that you care and are interested in what they’re doing. Thanks to the
internet, this is much easier than it used to be. Imagine having your kids
Skype with someone in Kenya or Tibet! How fun (and educational) could that be?

·Send Care Packages: Little things from home can
make a big impact. When I lived in Bosnia, we couldn’t find ketchup or peanut
butter. One day a box arrived with two bottles of Heinz57 and a jar of Jiffy.
You would have thought we’d won the lottery! Due to customs regulations, be
sure to check with the missionaries or mission agencies before sending
anything. Some countries get a bit tricky.

·Champion Specific Projects: Perhaps your family
could sponsor
a well in Africa or help build a school for girls in India. You could host
a shoe drive in your community or partner with your adopted missionary family
on something specific they need.

·Visit or Participate in Short-Term Trips: Most
recommend that your kids be at least thirteen before joining a team mission
trip, but there are no specific limits to visits. If you build a good
relationship with a missionary family, why not spend your family vacation in
service to them? You’ll get to see first-hand the people and ministries you’ve
actively prayed for.

Armed with three ridiculous French phrases, Tanya Dennis taught ESL to
Chinese students in German-speaking Switzerland. This after working as a
church planter in urban Philadelphia and a humanitarian worker in
war-torn Bosnia. Her current role, as mother of two, has proven to be
the most challenging. Learn more about her and what she's doing now at www.TanyaDennisBooks.com.

Feb 13, 2013

Each time I talk about raising mission-minded kids, I see
moms’ eyes go wide. They envision their precious babies leaving them bereft and
alone, and surely taking any future grandkids to a far-off tribal location where
they’ll probably die of some third-world disease.

RELAX. I have no intention of stealing your children or
guilting you into releasing them to demise. Quite the contrary, actually. I want you to be blessed. I
want your children to be blessed. How do we do that? By loving God fully and participating in
what He is doing.

And what is God doing? He is pursing the hearts of the lost
and growing the hearts of His children. That’s missions. It doesn’t have to
include a jungle or deep-fried cockroaches. It’s simply a willingness to love
Him fully and share Him with those who need Him.

The Great Commission Starts
at Home

The Holy Spirit challenged the early church to be “witnesses in Jerusalem and in Judea and
Samaria and to the end of the earth. “ (Acts 1:8) Looking at a map of theselocations, you’ll notice this call expands in concentric circles. This presents
a great pattern for us, too. The Great Commission starts at home, then spreads
outward, perhaps to your neighborhood, then your broader community and so on.
You don’t have to rush to Siberia. Look in your backyard first. It’s the
perfect place to start.

Raising
mission-minded kids involves three things:

Exciting their spirits

Equipping them to share

Elevating their global awareness

Let’s take a closer look at each of these.

How to Excite their
Spirits

Share engaging stories. Get them excited about God’s goodness
and the extent of his love with truths from the Bible and contemporary
examples. Read biographies of missionaries or historical figures that have made
an impact on the world around them. Tell them about Paul and Barnabas, about
the glories of grace and truth, the miracles of redemption and salvation. The
stories of Jim Elliott, Corrie ten Boom and Amy Carmichael are excellent
options. Search Christian Children's Book Review for
age-appropriate choices.

One of my favorites is The Boy Who Changed the World by Andy
Andrews. This book is not about missions, but about history and the
rippling impact of small actions. A sparkle of hope ignites my kids’ eyes as we
read it. They see that God wants to use them to reach the world right where
they are. I love it!

How to Equip Them to
Share

Get out of the way. Kids naturally share what they believe
and what excites them. If you excite them about God and what He’s doing, you’ll
have more trouble getting them to stop talking than getting them to start
sharing. Trust me. When we switched to public schools two years ago my
daughter, then seven years old, accosted everyone she met with the love of
Jesus. It was a beautifully fearsome thing to behold.

Be an example. If you share Christ freely, your kids will,
too. You don’t need to start a street ministry or go door-to-door with tracts.
You can, if you want to, but natural evangelism tends to work best – and it’s
far less intimidating! Simply be open with your faith. Look for opportunities
to incorporate elements of the Gospel into everyday conversations. Point out
tangible examples of grace. Ask a friend if you may pray with her or for him
about a present trial. Inquire about their beliefs and listen. Ask God to
provide open doors and the courage to walk through them. And let your kids
watch.

How to Elevate Global
Awareness

This step I find most fun. So fun, in fact, that I don’t
have space to tell you about it here! You’ll have to come back Friday for
tips about prayer walks, pen pals, international dinners, and active
partnerships. If you’re a Christian homeschooler, you’ll love this. The
resources cross-over geography, social studies and Bible study.

Your Turn: I want
to know what you find to be the most exciting truth about God’s character. How
can you share that with your kids (or your neighbor) tonight?

Armed with three ridiculous French phrases, Tanya Dennis taught ESL to
Chinese students in German-speaking Switzerland. This after working as a
church planter in urban Philadelphia and a humanitarian worker in
war-torn Bosnia. Her current role, as mother of two, has proven to be
the most challenging. Learn more about her and what she's doing now at www.TanyaDennisBooks.com.

Jan 18, 2013

My children stopped napping at very young ages, and like most moms, I mourned a little when it happened. The kids still needed naps - and even if some days they didn't, I needed the quiet time naps offered. As time has gone by and I've found myself increasingly stressed at the end of most afternoons, I've learned a little trick: Quiet time.

Now you may think quiet time is just for toddlers. Not so! Quiet time is actually a blessing for children of all ages - as well as for mothers. Here's how ours works:

1. First, I chose a time of day. My children tend to start getting really cranky around 2 or 2:30 in the afternoon, so this was the obvious choice for our quiet time.

2. Next, when my children were fresh and in a good mood, I explained that from now on we were going to have quiet time each weekday. (You can do it on weekends, too, if you like.) I explained that in the afternoons we all tended to get cranky and that quiet time would make ours days happier. The children weren't thrilled...until I explained what quiet time was.

3. I explained the simple rules of quiet time: "During quiet time, we will all go into our own rooms. You may take a nap" (expect protests here), "OR you may read a book/look at picture books, OR you may listen to an Adventures in Odyssey or Jonathan Parks CD, OR you may play quietly in bed." Admittedly, the kids still weren't thrilled, but they weren't complaining, either. In fact, my 7 year old was slightly excited to have quiet time away from her little brother.

It's important for there to be no screen time (television, computers, electronic games, cell phones, etc.) during quiet time. Studies show these things are very stimulating. On the other hand, reading a book or listening to a story on a CD has a quieting and restful effect. Also note that while I told the children they could play quietly in bed, I've had trouble enforcing this rule with my 4 year old, so I allow him to play quietly alone in his room during quiet time. This works just fine for us.

4. Mom must follow the rules, too. THIS IS IMPORTANT! I know how tempting it is to use quiet time to do housework, pay bills, or do other work. But for quiet time to truly be effective, mom must follow the rules, too! Nap, pray, read the Bible, pick up a novel...rest.

How long quiet time lasts is up to you. My 4 year old can tolerate about 45 minutes, so that's how long ours is. Sometimes I can stretch it to an hour. I wouldn't go beyond an hour. If 45 minutes doesn't work for you, aim to have at least 30 minutes of quiet time. And don't be discouraged if quiet time isn't all that quiet - especially at first. You an introducing a new routine, so expect it to take some time before the children adjust.

If you stick with it, though, quiet time will be very rewarding. It's amazing how even a short quiet time refreshes and encourages all of us!

One of the most loving and biblical ways we can do this is by using Scripture.

Positive or Negative?

It is perhaps easiest to use Bible verses admonishing our children not to do something. For example: "You shall not steal" (Ex. 20:15) or "the Lord hates...a lying tongue" (Proverbs 6:16-17). These are important parts of scripture and should certainly be known by everyone - parents and kids, included.

However, I feel it's important to temper these more negative verses with positive ones. So if, for example, your child has a problem with a sassy mouth, you might teach her Ephesians 4:29: "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths..." But I also encourage you to include a verse phrased in a positive way, such as Proverbs 16:24: "Gracious words are a honeycomb,sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."

I also strongly believe these verses, whether positive or negative, should not be your child's only exposure to Scripture. That could result in a very slanted view of the Bible. So make sure you are reading the Bible to your child every day; be sure to talk about what you read, too.Not only can verses be positive or negative, but so can you. If you read your child a Scripture with an angry tone of voice, or an attitude that is disrespectful or belittling, you will fail. You might make your child obey for the moment, but in the end, her attitude about the Bible and God will be greatly damaged.

Finding Scripture

There are a few books out there that help parents target Scripture to their child's behavior. Instruction for Righteousness comes to mind, as does The Child Training Bible. And any Bible concordance
will help, too. But honestly, I find the easiest tool is Google. Just
type in "Bible says about" plus the topic of interest. For example, I
recently Googled: "Bible says about mouth" and a number of sites came up listing Scripture on our mouths and speaking. I find this works with most any topic.Methods of Correction

Pre-Readers:

When your child is not yet able to read or write, I think the best way to use Scripture for correction is to simply read a Bible verse to them, then talk about it. I recommend you read directly from your Bible (rather than just reciting a verse or reading it from some other source) so your child has a visual reminder of where the Bible verse comes from. Be sure to explain any difficult words or concepts. Ask if your child has questions. Then read the Bible verse one more time.

This sort of correction can be used alone for minor offenses, or alongside other correction (such as a time out) for repeated or more serious offenses. Whether you choose to read and discuss the Scripture before or after the additional correction depends upon your child. Consider when he or she will be most receptive. Try it both ways to see which works better. Young Children Who Read:Once your child can read and write reasonably well (usually by first grade), you can select age appropriate/reading-level appropriate verses for him to read by himself or with help. (I highly recommend using NIV, NAS, NLV, or NiRV versions of the Bible so as not to confuse children with difficult language.) Then I suggest you either:1. Have your child write the verse repeatedly, making sure she reads back what she writes.2. Have your child memorize the verse.Either will help your child to remember the lesson being taught. Other ideas:* Have your child write a paragraph or two about how the verse can be applied to the child's life.* Have your child act on the verse right away. For example, let's say your child just called his sibling something mean. You might read him Ephesians 4:29, then have him say several uplifting things to his sibling.* Have your child make a list of things to do/say that relate to the verse. Again, going back to Ephesians 4:29, your child could make a list of words of encouragement he could give to whomever he offended in the first place.* Do an art project related to the verse. There's no reason this can't be fun! The idea is to help the Scripture stick in your child's mind.Remember to continue explaining more difficult parts of the verse to your child, and be sure to ask your child if she has any questions about the verse.Tweens and Teens:By the time you child is in her tweens, you can ask her to find appropriate Bible verses on her own. Continue to discuss the Scripture with your child, and consider some of the options under #2 (above) to help cement them. Focus not only on helping your child learn about the Bible and what God wants from her, but also on teaching her how to use the Bible as a tool. She should learn how to easily find references on any topic in the Bible, for example.How do you use Scripture to correct your children?

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