MUSE: What to do when your biggest fan is also your biggest naysayer?!?

This afternoon I’ve been wondering; what do you do when the person who “should” be your biggest fan just happens to be your biggest naysayer?!?!?

I put “should” in inverted commas because I guess part of my question also needs to address whether this stems from a certain expectation I have on relationships and the role that a partner “should” play, vs looking at the situation from an objective perspective.

I remember reading not too long ago a thoughtful comment relating to the ‘birth’ of our new ideas. This wasn’t in regard to any particular idea but from memory it was related to the conception of new business ideas and inspiration. In any case it explained that not unlike a newborn, a creative spark in its infancy is extremely vulnerableto negative outside impact. Until that creative spark has been firmly rooted in viable soil, has been tended with care, attention and given the strength to grow, anyone (and for that matter many people) will offer themselves and their (unwanted and mostly negative) opinions, advice, points of view and reasons as to why your idea will not work, thus destroying the seed before it ever got a chance to see that miraculous light of day!!

In addition was the idea that these fragile creative sparks should be kept to ones self, or only shared with a select close, trusted and inspired few who will purposefully assist you towards developing this spark to the next stage of its development, and support both you and your creation until it (and you) reach a point of being strong enough to continue in the face of all those naysayers!!

This made a lot of sense.

It also saddened me a little.

That we should need to be so cautious as to how we declare our enthusiasm for our new endeavours lest our peers destroy them before our very eyes! 😦

In one respect this isn’t too difficult, I think we have a natural tendency to keep things close to our chest during early development stages. However, what about when this extends not just to our creative inceptions, but also to areas of our lives which are at odds with those of the people closest to us?!?! What about when that person is your partner??

To illustrate my point; I’ve always understood that my partner and I are completely different in many respects, that said he is the most amazing man I know and we have an incredible relationship of which I am extremely grateful. We recognise that we are different and agreed early on that we were not going to let that detract from our sharing a magical and phenomenal partnership.

Thankfully it doesn’t, but it also means that I don’t share with him many of my thoughts particularly of the metaphysical kind, that I don’t discuss how I feel about certain things that I read, write, hear or experience, nor do I actively engage with him on how my manifesting, affirmations, gratitudes or meditations are feeling, evolving or creating.

Until now this hasn’t really been an issue, but I’m fast realising that these things are starting to play an ever growing role in my life, and whilst not having him to discuss them with would be one thing, I’m finding that he is completely averse to even the ideas of these things and can be quite active in his disdain for anything that is not of pro-action and active, measurable, physical effort.

As I read this back however I think I’ve answered my own question……

He is my biggest fan. Period. He always will be.

I need to LEARN how to be more resilient and steadfast in my beliefs regardless of what people have to say about them, especially if they are beginning to play a bigger role in my life.

At the same time I also need to PRACTICE being more articulate and selective in what I offer up so that people of differing experiences can feel comfortable exploring their curiosity, gaining insights, asking questions, or learning something new from what I have to offer.

I need to BECOME clearer in regard to my words, my actions, and my goals, and I need to PRACTICE addressing these same issues using words and actions and explanations that are suitable and comfortable and appropriate for each individual that I encounter.

The Universe has sent me a huge lesson in this one. I’ve only just recognised it.

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Hello Sunshine

I’m Nikki – naturopath, nutritionist, reiki practitioner, gardener, homemaker, meditator, traveller, foodie and all round life-lover. I am a HUGE advocate for making empowered and informed health choices and would love to help you and your family (fur babies included!) find that sweet-spot in your wellbeing routine. Coz what’s life without a little sweetness right? (No sugar required!)