(F)athlete, Tri-ing to Get the F Out!

Carpe Calfum

The good news: I actually showed up for my 7:30, 90 minute swim and was destroying the 3500 yard workout (and this is a *light* week now, ahem). Banana count was already 2 for the day and I was decently hydrated. Seemed like I would make it through swimmingly. *snort*

Around 2800 yards, as I pushed off the wall, I started to feel a little tightness in my calves.

But at 3100, the real fun began. They pitted us against one another to do 25 yard sprints. Now, keeping in mind that I’m a competitive mothaf*cka, you best believe I was going to push off that wall as hard as I possibly could.

I’ve had calf cramps before, but typically they can be wiggled out as you start swimming. Not this one. From Coach Andie’s vantage point, I looked like a dog getting yanked back on a leash as the spasm gripped me and basically almost caused me to drown. Because I also started laughing manically from the shock of it, to those on deck it appeared that I was either a) in the middle of a psychotic break (possible) or b) in massive pain that could only be expressed through hysterics. I waited one more sprint to let the cramp relax itself out and then decided to try again.

This one was worse than before and got a “FUUUUCK!!!” out of me followed by more maniacal laughter as Coach Jason ordered me out so he could put a knuckle in the cramp (not as sexy as it sounds). I stood on deck, and was able to kinda stretch the cramp out, at which point, Jason was feeling around and said he couldn’t find it (#1, below). Feeling my honor in question, I pinpointed it for him and because I didn’t want there to be any doubts, I told him “You wanna feel it? Here!” and I pointed my toes (#2, below), knowing that it might spasm a little bit so he could knuckle it good.

So this happened:

But it was not a little bit (#3, above). This tiny motion sent my left leg into a death spiral of spasm hell and my toes flexed up as my foot pointed down and I literally could not move my foot up or down. I was paralyzed. I tried sheer will, cajoling, and praying, but to no avail. I looked down and could do nothing but continue to laugh even more maniacally, and yell “holy crap, holy crap, holy crap” as Jason told me to breathe and tried to amend what he had in effect caused this time (don’t challenge me, yo. I will CREATE a calf cramp if I have to). After an eternity, or maybe even an eon, I was able to get my foot to flatten out again.

I’d like to say that I was pleased to have cut the workout short by 400 yards, but when I actually make it to practice, I want to finish what I started. Odd, I know, considering how much I bitch about the swim.

It’s still a little touch and go…or rather don’t touch. Walking up the stairs to my apartment, I had to do a little stiff-legged zombie march to avoid flexing/pointing my feet. I’m told I either need to roll my calf on a tennis ball or foam roller. I have neither.

At this time, a glass of Nuun (electrolytes) has been consumed and the banana count is now 3. Can’t wait till tomorrow, when Coach Jason says “it’s going to feel like you ran 50 miles!” Another successful swim, Athena Jess style.

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The Athena Project: Then & Now

The Athena Project 2013
Newly *mostly* vegan.
Be a role model for having a healthy, active lifestyle and focusing on HEALTH, with weight loss as the potential nifty effect of living well.
Inspire others to take charge of living clean at any size!
Training captain for Summer TNT Triathlon team.

The Athena Project 2011-12:June 2nd - Half-Ironman in Kona, HIRace at 140!?2011-12 Results: Finished Honu 70.3. Weight continues to hover above 165. End of 2012 was a time of reflection. Health, not weight, may be the end game here.