I find it godly, fucking taunting and strangely exhausting to know that I have the “power” to create my path, pertain some sort of individual intelligence to become me . Being in control of who I want to be , how I want to live , how I hold realism, dinginity , life , ego and honor .➖ “Being” is similar to the way you would draw a picture from when you were 5. Exactly how you wanted, completely out of the lines .While no one questioned nor controlled it because you owned it ; represented it . Because you were 5 and cared not one fuck what anyone thought . It was your silly mosaic , exactly how you liked it .Sun drawn on the side of the paper as your hair was colored in blue .You wore that masterpiece like a top -hat with a feather poked out from the side , completely out of date , yet exactly your taste ; wearing it with a proud face . ➖ Today , 15 years later I still have my crayons set out wanting to draw.. ➖Regardless theyre outdated , practically useless because I do not color anymore . I do not color how I did when I was 5. I have become so lost upon these years , ignoring my sanity , my ways . I let the world , depression, society, relationships , even my goddamn self stop me from being 5. .➖ I stopped coloring in my hair blue . I became consumed by life , living . While not living at all. I want to start feeling again , because “living” is similar to the way you would draw a picture from when you were not too consumed.I find it godly, fucking taunting and strangely exhausting to know that I have the “power” to create my path, pertain some sort of individual intelligence to become me . It just takes drawing out the lines and being 20. ➖➖➖➖#poetry#lala#poetrycommunityofinstagram#writing#art#painting#fruitfall#living