August 12, 2014

I'm guessing it's not "By the way, I thought of a good contest for your blog: What is the greatest sentence ever uttered by a human being?," which is something somebody uttered to me via email just now.

And I'm sure it's not: "I'm guessing it's not 'By the way, I thought of a good contest for your
blog: What is the greatest sentence ever uttered by a human being?,'
which is something somebody uttered to me via email just now."

194 comments:

"Anger was washed away in the river along with any obligation."—Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms

"Like the waters of the river, like the motorists on the highway, and like the yellow trains streaking down the Santa Fe tracks, drama, in the shape of exceptional happenings, had never stopped there"—Truman Capote, In Cold Blood

Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” John 4:13-14, Jesus talking the the woman at the well.

"Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty."

"Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” John 4:13-14, Jesus talking the the woman at the well."

Now, I'm sure the best sentence has water in it.

"Meditation and water are wedded forever." My 12th grade English teacher loved that sentence from "Moby Dick."

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

"Because if we are willing to work for it, and fight for it, and believe in it, then I am absolutely certain that generations from now, we will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment when we began to provide care for the sick and good jobs to the jobless; this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal; this was the moment when we ended a war and secured our nation and restored our image as the last, best hope on earth."

"I am more interested in the 10 greatest sentences actually uttered (spoken) by a real person. I will start with JFK's, "And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you — ask what you can do for your country.""

1. That sentence was written. JFK just read it out loud. If you're really into spontaneous utterances, you've got to exclude things like that or we might as well include everything in any book that comes in audiobook form.

2. The word "utter" isn't always limited to the spoken word. In law, we even speak of "uttering a check"!

3. But I think your point is: Something that came straight out of a person's brain. Written word can be like that too. Blogging, for example. Or Jack Kerouac. But I agree that these elaborate, crafted written sentences don't seem to be "uttered."

"There is no greatest sentence. It's like saying what's the greatest ice cream flavor. I love strawberry and vanilla and mint chocolate chip. Why must one be deemed "better?""

"GRAPE! I'm gonna get grape, or cherry. They're both... favorites, so either one is good, but if they have both, I'll get grape, because grape is a little more favorite. But if they don't have grape it's like alright its fine, cause cherry's favorite anyway. It's like another favorite, but not as much. Not as much favorite. But they're both good. They're both good."

If I was going with Dickens I'd have to choose this extended sentence. Also it's apropos. Not uttered though.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way – in short, the period was so far like the present period,

(Understanding the quote in context, from Shirer, "The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich": "[Hitler] had never conceived — nor had anyone else up to that time — that a decisive battle could be decided in the air. Nor perhaps did he yet realize as the dark winter settled over Europe that a handful of British fighter pilots, by thwarting his invasion, had preserved England as a great base for the possible reconquest of the Continent from the west at a later date.... Britain was saved. For nearly a thousand years it had successfully defended itself by sea power. Just in time, its leaders, a very few of them, despite all the bungling (of which these pages have been so replete) in the interwar years, had recognized that air power had become decisive in the mid-twentieth century and the little fighter plane and its pilot the chief shield for defense. As Churchill told the Commons in another memorable peroration on August 20, when the battle in the skies still raged and its outcome was in doubt, 'never in field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few.'"

"With malice toward none; with charity for all; with firmness in the right, as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in; to bind up the nation's wounds; to care for him who shall have borne the battle, and for his widow, and his orphan--to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace, among ourselves, and with all nations."

"Yeah but how do your bank employees really feel about having to wear those Mouseketeer ears?"

My half-drunk wiseass question to a Midlantic Bank exec after he went on and on about how great it was and how fruitful it had been for his bank after it adopted the management techniques ala Disneyland's customer service model.

"It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth."

As a sub topic, please consider the passing away of famous last words. In the old days, people would take the trouble to say a few memorable words before croaking. "What an actor the world loses in me." "Let us cross over the river and rest under the shade of the trees." "Comedy is hard." .....I would hope that the publicist of some celeb would brief his client on some snappy words to say in the ambulance or leave in the suicide note. The words of the dying always have more impact and drama than prepared speeches.

"This private estate was far enough away from the explosion so that its bamboos, pines, laurel, and maples were still alive, and the green place invited refugees—partly because they believed that if the Americans came back, they would bomb only buildings; partly because the foliage seemed a center of coolness and life, and the estate’s exquisitely precise rock gardens, with their quiet pools and arching bridges, were very Japanese, normal, secure; and also partly (according to some who were there) because of an irresistible, atavistic urge to hide under leaves."

Don't know what you mean by "greatest." Although not most noble, deepest meaning, most universal but brief, succinct, standard (for me always means recognition of a loss of control of the situation as well as my tongue), and most memorable to my kids (they can forget about anything else I say):

"Sh*t"

which is somewhat related to "watch this," "hold my beer," etc.

I try not to use foul and coarse language, sometimes it just comes out. Like right after I realized I had zero traction (ice) and immediately before I hit the wall. It was 15 years ago and I still hear about it.

Winston Churchill:We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in France,we shall fight on the seas and oceans,we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be,we shall fight on the beaches,we shall fight on the landing grounds,we shall fight in the fields and in the streets,we shall fight in the hills;we shall never surrender, and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, this Island or a large part of it were subjugated and starving, then our Empire beyond the seas, armed and guarded by the British Fleet, would carry on the struggle, until, in God’s good time, the New World, with all its power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the old.”

Violet Asquith, herself a formidable and notable British woman, and Prime Minister Herbert Asquith's intelligent and perceptive daughter, recalled her first conversation with Winston Churchill at age 19 in 1906. “Curse ruthless time!” Churchill said savagely, bemoaning the fact that he was already thirty-two.

"“Curse our mortality! How cruelly short is the allotted span for all we must cram into it.” And he burst forth into an eloquent diatribe on the shortness of human life, the immensity of possible human accomplishment -- a theme so well exploited by the poets, prophets and philosophers of all ages that it might seem difficult to invest it with a new and startling significance. Yet for me, she recalled, he did so, in a torrent of magnificent language which appeared to be both effortless and inexhaustible and ended up with the words I shall always remember: “We are all worms. But I do believe I am a glow-worm.”"

After the encounter, she rushed into her father’s bedroom. Asquith and his daughter were extremely close, and always discussed the day’s events before he went to sleep. Violet announced that for the first time in her life she had seen genius.

“Well, Winston would certainly agree with you there,” the Prime Minister replied. “But I’m not sure you will find many others of the same mind.”

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

"My very photogenic mother died in a freak accident (picnic, lightning) when I was three, and, save for a pocket of warmth in the darkest past, nothing of her subsists within the hollows and dells of memory, over which, if you can still stand my style (I am writing under observation), the sun of my infancy had set: surely, you all know those redolent remnants of day suspended, with the midges, about some hedge in bloom or suddenly entered and traversed by the rambler, at the bottom of a hill, in the summer dusk; a furry warmth, golden midges."-- Nabokov, "Lolita"

Best crafted sentence or best sentence due to context or idea conveyed?

The Bible is full of most excellent sentences. Some of my favorites that seem less popular:

“Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?" - God in Job

"Abraham breathed his last and died in a good old age, an old man and full of years, and was gathered to his people." - from Genesis 25

"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." - from John 1

Others:

"If, in picking a quarrel, each party declined to go more than three-eighths of the way, and if in making friends, each was ready to go five-eighths of the way--why, there would be more reconciliations than quarrels!" - Lewis Carroll, Eight or Nine Wise Words About Letter-Writing

"And so the Trojans buried Hector breaker of horses." - Homer, The Iliad

"For even the purest delight may pall,And power must fail, and the pride must fall,And the love of the dearest friends grow small—But the glory of the Lord is all in all." - Richard Doddridge Blackmore, Dominus Illuminatio Mea

The average age of the world’s greatest civilizations has been 200 years. Those nations always progress through the following sequence:

From bondage to spiritual faith,from spiritual faith to great courage,from great courage to liberty,from liberty to abundance,from abundance to selfishness,from selfishness to complacency,from complacency to dependency,from dependency back into bondage."

"A man may know that nobody has insulted him, but that he has invented the insult for himself, has lied and exaggerated to make it picturesque, has caught at a word and made a mountain out of a molehill--he knows that himself, yet he will be the first to take offense, and will revel in his resentment till he feels great pleasure in it.” ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

“And what's strange, what would be marvelous, is not that God should really exist; the marvel is that such an idea, the idea of the necessity of God, could enter the head of such a savage, vicious beast as man.” ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

"But let justice roll down like waters, and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream." - Amos 5

With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation's wounds, to care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan, to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations.

A few candidates -- not necessarily what I'd select as a final set, but the first few that came to mind.

1) Sed omnia praeclara tam difficilia quam rara sunt. (Spinoza)

2) μολὼν λαβέ (Various Lacedaemonians)

3) Cogito ergo sum. (Descartes)

4) I do. (Innumerable couples)

5) Have you no decency, sir? (Welch)

6) ...I have sworn upon the altar of god, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man. (Jefferson)

7) Vi faccio vedere come muore un Italiano! (Quattrocchi)

8) A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you are also to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. (Jesus, translated, likely paraphrased)

9) It is well that war is so terrible–we would grow too fond of it. (Lee, likely paraphrased)

"Nothing I cared, in the lamb white days, that time would take me Up to the swallow thronged loft by the shadow of my hand, In the moon that is always rising, Nor that riding to sleep I should hear him fly with the high fields And wake to the farm forever fled from the childless land. Oh as I was young and easy in the mercy of his means, Time held me green and dying Though I sang in my chains like the sea."

I've learned a lot from these comments. This is a learned and creative group. I have just one correction, to MathMom, 11:41 am. Unless you were joking when you said "The quotes from Jesus fail the first test - to be uttered by a human being." Christian theologians determined no later than the Council of Nicaea (325) that Jesus was both fully human and fully divine. However, I do agree that it's somewhat unfair to put Churchill, Lincoln, et al. up against the Son of God in a quotations contest.

Had to check and make sure it was one sentence - Bill Shakespeare, Sonnet 29 -

When, in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,I all alone beweep my outcast state, And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,And look upon myself, and curse my fate, Wishing me like to one more rich in hope, Featur'd like him, like him with friends possess'd,Desiring this man's art and that man's scope, With what I most enjoy contented least; Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,Haply I think on thee, and then my state, Like to the lark at break of day arising From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth bringsThat then I scorn to change my state with kings.

Spontaneous utterances recorded and repeated excluded, leaves me thinking of words I heard with others which became public for the first time with that utterance. For me, the greatest sentence, with outcomes I might not have wished, is 'I shall not seek the nomination of my party to be your president..' Lyndon Johnson.

“My soul glorifies the Lord47 and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,48 for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant.From now on all generations will call me blessed,49 for the Mighty One has done great things for me— holy is his name.50 His mercy extends to those who fear him, from generation to generation.51 He has performed mighty deeds with his arm; he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.52 He has brought down rulers from their thrones but has lifted up the humble.53 He has filled the hungry with good things but has sent the rich away empty.54 He has helped his servant Israel, remembering to be merciful55 to Abraham and his descendants forever, just as he promised our ancestors.”

Yes, Jesus was fully human, but He is also fully God, so it's a bit slanted to choose anything He said. As for the Old Testament quotes, that was the Holy Spirit speaking through humans, so again it is not really fair.

Rather, the greatest sentence ever uttered by a human being was, in fact, said by a woman - and because of saying it, she is exalted above all other humans, man or woman --"I am the handmaid of the Lord; let it be done unto me according to thy word."

Short, simple, extremely meaningful, extremely historically important, funny, tragic, inspiring. About as good as it gets for a human speaking to another human about human things. Of course, it does need some context to get the full effect.

Todd, lefties like Robert Cook don't really believe in *a* man, they believe in "the working man", nor do they believe in a person, but rather "the people". They privilege the collective and the abstract over the individual. This is why they believe what they believe, and never quite understand why their principles never actually get implemented - only a series of monsters wearing their faces committing atrocities, mocking their truest beliefs. Those communists that killed all those people, enslaved those countries? They were individuals, evil individuals - but The Party - The Party has the answer. And when The Party is discredited, and the collective can't be sustained, they shift to The Ideal, because their ideals can't betray them the way that the heroes of the people, being wicked men, and The Party, being corrupted by conspiracies of wicked men - could, and did, betray their trust.

But there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don't know we don't know. - Donald RumsfeldI was thinking about how I probably have said one of the stupidest 10 things every said by a human being and maybe the all time worst. Then it occurred to me that Rumsfeld has a good one that would make both list.