The Most Horrible Fanfiction Ever Penned

Suggestion Box

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Actually was inspired to go back and have a look over at this one after recently re-reading Love of a Spartan- seeing how it was the other super mushy (and kinda strange) fic I latched onto when I was a lil younger

Seems to be pretty much dead now and the author was allegedly planning to rewrite it at some point, but having a second look at it makes me think it’d be worth digging into.

Harry Potter and the Pureblood Supremicist. Every cliche ever shoved into one badly written fic. It’s dead but a serious cliche suckfest, plus there are so many redundancies there are redundancies in every chapter.

I want to add some more descriptions to some of the fics on the orphaned list, can you give me edit access? And if not:

A tale of two couriers: The lack of capitalizations in both the story title and the chapter title should have been a red flag. The first chapter is filled with horrible grammar, nonsensical dialogue and critical research failure. And it only gets worse from there. Also, the author is a gigantic douche, so that’s always a bonus.

Ashes to Ashes: You know how some fics have a timeline at the beginning that details the background and settings of the story? Well, this ENTIRE story is basically that, but with a thousand nonsensical plot twists and a million pointless references thrown in.

Code Geass: Rebirth through Freedom and Redemption: The old summary pretty much hits the nail on the head, but it forgot to mention how there are many, many critical research failures throughout the story.

Also, I think you can take both Sonic.exe and Sword Art Online extra chapter off of that list. Sonic.exe has already been riffed and SAO extra chapter was taken down from ff net. (Plus, it seems to be genuine after all, unless the one who faked it translated it into both Japanese and Chinese just to fuck with us).

A long, long time ago. Crowbar asked me if there is a story that got facts about my own country wrong. Well, I’ve found it. The latest chapter alone is so ignorant and naive that it almost makes me laugh. Apparently, the Chinese President believes that the American military “can’t fight its way out of a paper bag” and that the Communist Party single handedly repelled the Japanese back during WWII.

I got a semi-positive response to this back in the Sonic.exe comments, so I’m moving it up here where more people than batjamags are likely to ever see it.

What would people think about my doing a few Creepypastas that don’t have a pre-existing fictional work associated with them? That’s getting a little bit farther away from the tagline “the most horrible fanfiction ever penned”, but some of the truly awful ones are not set around a pre-existing game or TV show and they very much deserve to be taken down hard.

I was thinking in particular of Jeff the Killer and its horrible, horrible spawn.

Oh, my God, you should totally do this one. It’s called “Sonic High School”. The fact that this is a Sonic fanfic is bad enough, but this fic also includes rampant grammatical errors, an overuse of weird similes that make no sense, terribly written sex scenes and a plot that really makes no sense. Nearly every sentence is a riot.

I think I remember reading this on Creepypasta but now it’s here. It’s one of the more bizarre lost episodes. As in, some of it just doesn’t really doesn’t make much sense at all. It’s also stupid and cliche. Yay. I know the latest post said something about the Pastathon being over for now, but I think you should at least look into it, maybe review it later.

I know the latest post said something about the Pastathon being over for now, but I think you should at least look into it, maybe review it later.

The pastathon is over for me, for now all that means is that I won’t be doing one a week anymore- I’ll still be doing some (although not until after getting through a massive chunk of LOAS) and other people can of course do them whenever they want (I’ll even let you use the Spooky Scary Skeletons opening). In fact, one of my reasons for doing the Pastathon in the first place was to encourage my fellow Librarians to join me in my fight against the scourge that is Creepypasta.

Author’s summary:
Katrina the Doctors long lost daughter is left on earth, just found out she was a timelord and then the suprise of being the Doctors daughter.
she struggles with her painful life and the fact that she’s stuck on earth without the Doctor, trying to find answers and longing for her newly discovered dad.
she wonders about how much he cares knowing that he does but needing evidence when her whole life doesn’t make sense. she hides the secret from everyone she knows. wishing somehow they would find out who she really is or for someone to believe her.
this Is the story of katrinas life.

Essentially it’s your basic Doctor Who fanfic starring an overpowered mary-sue self insert, only the author actually believes that it happened to her and literally started a homegrown cult based on her supposed “experiences” (which I was part of for almost TWO YEARS.) She’s sort of a Tara Gilesbie meets L. Ron Hubbard sort of person. Anyway, please get her and get her good.

Read the first couple of chapters. It’s a bit slow, but nicely written. I can smell the Sue, though. One of the typical “The universe revolves around me” type characters. While there’s at least one of those characters per season on Doctor Who, apparently every enemy of the Doctor is infiltrating her school in a plot to murder her.
Or she has some narcissism and paranoia, with a grandiose self-delusion about being a Time Lord.

So… There’s a fic. I’m posting this late at night in part because I’m hoping that any comments that go up tomorrow morning will push this out of the recent comments box and make it so that no one sees this. That way, you won’t have to know about or read this fic. This is one of the fics I found while lurking on a different riffing community, but their riff was a round-robin-style group riff that ended up very disjointed.

Just to be clear, I’m mainly putting this here because if you want to talk about the most horrible fanfiction ever penned, well, here it is. I don’t actually expect anyone to read it.

So, I should give you some warnings about this: If it triggers you, it’s in this fic or one of its sequels. Period.

Yes, that too.

And that.

Especially that.

Basically, imagine if EclipsePheniox were more long-winded and pretentious (not to mention self-righteous), and then make all the characters in his fics minors. And stretch that out over a four-fic, eighty-eight-chapter (across all four) shitfest.

So please, for the love of all things holy, don’t riff this. Unless you do. But seriously. You probably shouldn’t even read it.

Title: Starting a New Life
Source(s): RWBY, Various Marvel properties, Star Wars, and apparently Transformers.
URL: http://archiveofourown.org/works/8816170/chapters/20332330
Comments: This fic has been making the rounds on the ol’ Protectors of the Plot Continuum Discord over the past few days (That is to say, I’ve been copying and pasting paragraphs in and reacting to them with the rest of the Discord). Basically, “Darth Vader,” who goes by Parker Anderson, ends up in Remnant and apparently has multiple power sets from the Marvel Universe (Spidey and Ghost Rider, currently [please don’t let there be more. Please.] ). He then becomes the fifth member of team RWBY, and knocks up Yang. Oum help us.

Basically, “Darth Vader,” who goes by Parker Anderson, ends up in Remnant

Alright, so his alias is a name that doesn’t fit in Star Wars or RWBY. Did he make a pitstop on Earth? Is this some Subject 23 Universe-hopping bullshit?

and apparently has multiple power sets from the Marvel Universe (Spidey and Ghost Rider, currently [please don’t let there be more. Please.] )

OK, but why though? I mean, I get having an overpowered Stu (kind of), but why those specific power sets?

He then becomes the fifth member of team RWBY,

Y’know, I haven’t even read much RWBY fanfic, and this is already a pet peeve of mine: the teams have four members and four letters which spell out a color. What would this even be, RWBYV? RWVBY? RPWBY? RAWBY? I can’t even begin to make a color out of those letters.

and knocks up Yang.

Oh, goddammit.

“White Fang Soldier”

So, he was captured by the White Fang, which is run by Adam Taurus…

Let me guess: they lured him into a hand-choppers’ convention.

It gets worse: Yang gets pregnant. With Twins.

Oh, come on!

…

Does it say something bad about me that I need to actively hold myself back from dropping everything and reading this clearly shitty fanfic right now?

I keep finding these things, and it would be a service to humanity crime not to share them with you guys. I do still apologize, though. This one might be too graphic to make for a good riff, but I suppose we’ve had Celebrian and EP’s bullshit (I’m specifically thinking of the story who’s title I have too much self-respect to even copy-paste into my comment) on here.

Here, folks, is one of a group of fics I like to call the TV Tropes Fanfic Recommendations Page’s Greatest Hits (It’s not very catchy, I know)!

Let’s see here… we’ve got rape, cannibalism, and murder, committed by a minor and described in graphic detail from the victim’s point of view.

In the first chapter.

I specify this because I didn’t read the second. Or the other sixty-two. Yes, sixty-four in total. As of thirteen months ago, so I think/hope it’s over.

Oh, and by the way? The author’s username is Rapey Lemons. Yes, you read that right.

I’m ashamed of the three views I gave this story: the first because I didn’t know it would be that bad, the second because I wanted to verify that the author’s name was what I thought it was, and the third to get the URL for you guys.

Putting Hogwarts Exposed here was sort of a combination dare/warning, but this one I actually wouldn’t necessarily mind seeing riffed. I just don’t have the stomach to do it myself. I suppose I could give the author the benefit of the doubt and say that Psycho!Ruby is the villain of the piece and what’s seen in the first chapter is a one-off, but the way it’s written and the author’s username aren’t giving me confidence.

It apparently has an imitator (TVTFRP’s Greatest Hits strikes again!) but I haven’t investigated that one yet.

Read part of the imitator. It’s a little disjointed but has nothing really substantial enough to riff. It’s also not that disturbing (it tries a more traditional and less creepy-on-a-meta-level approach to the psycho!protagonists but isn’t even scary in a horror movie kind of way, it’s just flat).

Here’s some creepypasta I wanted to include in the Halloween special but didn’t have time for:

The Haunting Melody by TheFlutist:
I think this thing was literally written by a ten-year-old child. Mechanically it’s… well, Ok-ish by creepypasta standards (one character ‘rapes’ another in a rope), it’s just that none of it makes any goddamn sense. Learning black magic from YouTube videos! Haunted band instruments! Heinous gaps in logic! Spider condos!

Jeff is Back by Achatohn:
Because Jeff the Killer really needed to be more of a goddamn Gary Stu, he is now a L33T HAXX0R and has the ability to teleport across the Atlantic Ocean. Also, it rips a picture off of the SCP Foundation website.

Charlie the Killer by “Megan and Charlotte” (who apparently don’t have account(s?) anywhere):
A horrible Jeff clone, NSFW for its tactless handling of obesity and the bullying associated therewith. This is one of the more obvious shipfics, and ends with the main character carrying Jeff’s spawn.

Blood Whistle by Dubiousdugong: A haunted Mario game story that has become a minor meme in the Pastaverse for its purple prose. Apparently the author is also a serial plagiarist although this appears to be an ‘original’ work.

Oh, holy shit. I’ve been looking for an ME fic to riff, so I’ll take a look at this one later. If someone else wants it, it’ll be a while before I can get to it and even longer before it’ll go up, so I can find something else.

Having skimmed through it in a bit more detail, I can say it’s not as bad as the description makes it out to be (possibly because the author edited or rewrote it?). Still not good by any means, but not terrible either.

There was another story by… uh… this person called Freedom In Chains that was not only everything WYS was and more but was also balls-to-the-wall insane to boot, but about two hours after I left a negative review the whole thing was deleted. If you can find it on a backup or archive, though, you are more than welcome to it.

I’ve, hesitantly, started one myself, but I’m not as well versed in Sci Fi tech as others here, so I feel I would be missing some key parts to call bullshit on. Well, other than humanity being stupidly overpowered as usual. Really, other than being another human wank fic, do you guys even think it’s riff worthy?

Hey, there. I was wondering if one of the LotD crew was interested in a long-term project?

See, “Unknown Origins” is a Fallout: New Vegas fanfic I wrote. It is, by far, the worst fanfic I have ever written. Some people like it, but others have given it nothing but criticism for its anime elements, shitty OCs, its lighter-and-softer tone than the canon material, and the Mary Sue of a main character. I’m honestly considering deleting it, but then I thought… It’d actually be hilarious to see it riffed! :D

I love how you guys handled “Yes, But It’s a Female Zombie,” and “Unknown Origins” is even WORSE. I sometimes read it over and can’t get over how I could possibly make such a steaming pile of poo. XD

For someone who was going to ignore us you are certainly spending a lot of time on our site, CBG. You’ve even started offering up fics even though you think we’re riffing assholes. You wouldn’t be trying to get us to riff this fic so you can tattletale to the author and convince them to join your group on ff.net, would you?

Man, it was weird, and the author even put himself in it, or represented himself in it. Jesus.

One of the tipoffs that you’re not being serious is that you say this as though it’s not something that pretty much every badficcer ever does. It’s not surprising or even hard to understand. Hell, one of the resident riffers here made the self-insert genre entirely too goddamn popular among an entire fandom (Seriously, I went looking for an ME fic to riff, and all I found was a sea of SIs. Herr created a monster.).

I think this comment more than anything else shows how we haven’t gotten through to CBG. He honestly thinks we’re just being petty or complaining about tropes we don’t like or something.

So… I wrote a Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure fic, and well, still writing it but um… I really wouldn’t mind I it got sporked. Honestly not sure if it’s good or bad, but, here’s a link for you guys to just… judge for yourself?

Got a bunch of warning signs from this description. Didn’t read most of the five, but it seems as though the author is trying really hard to be funny.

You’re a rookie YouTuber who is known for her snarky attitude, contagious laughter, hilarious gaming commentary (or lack thereof), stunning features, and of course, your childhood friend, Markiplier. You’re doing great with your channel and a stable subscriber count and fanbase, but what happens when your dark past comes back to haunt you? Will you collapse and everything you’ve worked so hard for go down with you? Or will a certain someone help you pick up the pieces of your broken beginnings?

It can also be considered libel or defamation of character, which raises legal questions as well. It’s one thing to ascribe thoughts and opinions to a fictional character, but things can get sticky when it’s an actual person.

I’ve read all of sadnesseggxxx’s stories. I actually found Library of the Damned through googling Scarlet and looking for dramatic readings/MST. I really would like to see at least one more torn to bits and pieces with snark here. I really don’t care which, but I’ll suggest one of my personal favorites just to be helpful.

Title: Tris Joins Dauntless
Source: Divergent
URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11218188/1/
Comments: Some fanfiction is so bad that it has to be seen to be believed. I could write for hours and never come up with every single problem here. At least it’s short, I guess.