Why I Chose Adoption In My Teen Pregnancy

I got pregnant at 17 years old. It was your typical “teen mom” story. I was rebellious and left home, getting pregnant shortly thereafter by a guy who was way too old for me. The TV shows don’t do it justice though. Teen pregnancy is more than just drama on reality TV–it’s a teenager trying to decide what to do with another human being. When I faced my teen pregnancy, I chose adoption for my baby–here’s why.

I chose adoption because I was still a child

At 17, I didn’t have the coping skills to handle my own life, much less take care of another human being. I had so much to learn about how the world worked. I had just barely moved out on my own. I was moody and rebellious and immature. I didn’t know who I was yet. Admitting that maybe I didn’t know everything about the world was hard. But it wouldn’t have been fair to either of us had I tried to raise a child when I was still a child myself.

I chose adoption because I couldn’t provide the family I wanted her to have

My birth daughter’s biological father is quite a bit older than me. The relationship I had with him was not healthy, and marriage would not have been a safe idea. I wanted my little girl to have a mommy and daddy who loved each other. Had I parented, she would have been torn between her parents in a never-ending custody battle. She deserved more than that.

I chose adoption because I had goals

It’s hard to admit that placing my baby for adoption benefited me in some ways. I wanted to go to college and have a good job. I wanted to get married. I wanted to travel. Could I have reached these goals as a single parent? Probably. But it would have been a whole lot harder. The goals I want to accomplish will make me a good mom–someday. But as a teen, it wasn’t the right timing.

I chose adoption because I needed to take responsibility

One of my options was to move back in with my parents and have them help me raise the baby. That might have been okay. But I was the mom, and I felt that my parents raising my child would not have been the right thing to do in my case. My parents and I are very different in our viewpoints on parenting, and having them help me parent my child would have put a lot of strain on my relationship with them. That strain would have caused even more instability for my baby. Since I could not provide the emotional and financial stability that my child deserved, I needed to find someone who could.

Being a teen does not automatically make adoption the right choice. However, most teens need some more time to grow up before taking on the responsibility of parenting. Placing a baby for adoption does not mean you have failed. It does not mean you are irresponsible. It is your responsibility as a parent to take an objective look at your life, and decide whether you are in a place to raise a child at this time. You are the only one who can truly decide what is right for you and your baby.

About the Author

Annaleece Merrill is a birth mother to the cutest little girl on earth. She loves being an advocate for open adoption by writing, mentoring, and speaking at adoption panels. She attends Utah State University in Logan, Utah.

What is TeenPregnancy.com all about?

Our focus is to write articles that help you through your teen pregnancy and options that come afterwards. What if you chose adoption? As a pregnant teen, we want to help you explore and expand your options when it comes to your teen pregnancy.