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Friday, 24 March 2017

Addiction is a Family Disease

Addiction: (Another family members struggle: Anonymous)

Addiction
if a family disease. Addiction afflicts some of our families, the
majority of people live without being affected by drug addictions and
alcoholism. It's a horrible struggle for some of us. We try so hard to
help the alcoholic or the addicted individual. Sometimes the
irresponsible behaviour of the individual is difficult to deal with.
It's a sickness alcoholism and drug addiction. Some call it a disease.
It's a difficult disease because for those of us who are not addicted we
don't actually know the struggle from their perspective. I do know its
about feelings. Never had learned how to express feelings and deal with
difficulties in life and having had at the wrong time picked up a drink
or a pill. Sometimes the pharmaceutical companies prescribe drugs.. and
people become addicted. Either way it devistates the family more than
the addict because we are the people who don't drink to squash the
feelings of anger, sadness, rage and guilt.

We
do everything we can to get the person to change, to see things our
way. Ultimately it's the individuals right to decide what they wish to
do. As long as the drug has them in their grips and as long as they are
able to continue using without suffering the consequences of not living
up to their responsibilities they will continue.

My
choice now being clear minded. My choice being the person who's not on
drugs and who can feel the pain of the devastation that drugs have upon
the family. The banging on the window in the middle of the night to come
in from the cold, the mental and sometimes physical abuse the follows
drug addicts and alcoholics due the changes these chemicals have on
their brains. The call from the hospital that they have been found
unconscious and bleeding. they are entering an MIR to see the extent of
the damage. The manipulation that I must have been a bad parent, I must
have done something wrong. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

My
struggles have been 10 years in the making to right the way of another
individual. In the process I've lost my life my own financial freedom,
security and safety net. I've lived under stress and constant drama
created by another. They are young they will snap out of it.. etc... 24 years is not longer young,, but rather a young person. 1/4 through life already.

Drama

1. Stabbed in the heart (my alcoholic/addict) life or death surgery

2.
Cut in the hand grabbing the knife from a person threatening suicide ( a
result of the usual person dealing with an alcoholic, look what you are
doing to me. Hoping they might stop and just not drink)

3.
Attacked and stabbed in the face ( 50 stitches plus), a result of being
intoxicated and unable to defend self a direct result of being
intoxicated

5. Blaming other for their plight, not seeking a way out, Manipulation to continue this horrible sickness

Hope

Trying
to help an addict is like cutting grass. I can keep cutting the grass
(trying to get behaviour to stop) and it just keeps coming back because I
continue to fertilize it. How do I fertilize it? Enabling.

Enabling:
Is not helping. help is doing something for someone who can't do it for
themselves. Enabling prevents the alcoholic or addict from suffering
the consequences of their situation. It also prevents us from living
life. The life we deserve to live free from drama, or at least only the
drama we might bring about for ourselves and not due to another s
actions.

Selfishness and Self Centered:

I
can't stand the pain I feel watching my loved one kill themselves with
drugs. It could be a lifetime of substance abuse or a year of substance
abuse I have a Chrystal ball, and some addicts do die. That's a fact. It
happens all the time. Some addicts obtain recovery. We can't force them
to seek help. I can stop fertilizing the grass and in turn have energy
to look after my own responsibilities.

1. I can be angry because I keep allowing the person to stay in my home
2. I can worry when they are out on the street, or not if they find a place to lay their head.

My Final Choice

To be discussed in the next addiction blog.. ..........worry or anger and regret