Thoughts from the interface of science, religion, law and culture

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. He has appeared on the Rachel Maddow Show and the Thom Hartmann Show, and is almost certain that he is the only person ever to make fun of Chuck Norris on C-SPAN.

EVENTS

Dumbass Quote of the Day

The U.S. Reformation Prayer Network, a group of looney tunes who consider themselves “prophets,” urged its followers to pray before Michigan’s primary on Tuesday because, if they didn’t, Michigan would become an Islamic state. Seriously.

Michigan has suffered great economic hardship for many years due to foreign competition and costs of doing business. We have historically historically been an anti-Semitic state, and hold one of the largest population of Muslims outside of the Middle East. There seems to be an underlying agenda by Islam to have Michigan become the first Islamic state in America.

Actually, we hold one of the largest populations of Arabs outside the Middle East; many of those Arabs are Christians, like the Chaldeans. But bigots like these people recognize no such distinction. By the way, about 3% of the Michigan population is Muslim. I worry far more about the fact that all three branches of government are controlled by the Republicans. On the list of things to be concerned about, a Muslim takeover of Michigan falls somewhere between a zombie apocalypse and a Backstreet Boys reunion.

On the list of things to be concerned about, a Muslim takeover of Michigan falls somewhere between a zombie apocalypse and a Backstreet Boys reunion.

I’ll take a takeover of government by zombie Muslims over a rebirth of the backstreets boys any day. Twelve years ago, when google was still in its infancy and I was still using Altavista, the venerable search engine managed to send me after a completely unrelated search toward a site of backstreet boys fanfictions: Since then, I’ve known for a fact that souls are real because mine was violated and crippled by what I saw this day.

to send me after a completely unrelated search toward a site of backstreet boys fanfictions: Since then, I’ve known for a fact that souls are real because mine was violated and crippled by what I saw this day.

Oh, there’s worse than that. A lot worse.

I mean, there’s always been the horrifying LotR and Star Wars/Trek fanfics to make you wish your eyeballs could be scrubbed clean with a wire brush.

You didn’t do the research, Ed. The Backstreet Boys have never really broken up, and are planning on putting out an album this year. Their last album was released in 2009. Hence they are a clear and present danger, versus a Muslim takeover of Michigan.

hold one of the largest population of Muslims outside of the Middle East.

huh? The largest population of Muslims in any country (including the Middle East) is Indonesia. Then Pakistan, then India. So showing their general ignorance there. . .

Hell, according to wiki, France, China, Russia, the Phillipines, Thailand and Germany have a higher population of Muslims. And I haven’t mentioned all the African countries with high Muslim populations.

While Muslim or Arab describe certain groups, I suspect that they mean to imply anyone of Middle Eastern descent and Muslims. Whatever provides the largest possible number, including just making shit up.

“We have historically historically been an anti-Semitic state, and hold one of the largest population of Muslims outside of the Middle East.”

It’s a trend so historical they had to mention it twice.

You don’t understand the creeping horror that could have overtaken Michigan* – That evul Muslims** (or some kinda brown people anyway) might have got to join the Michigan Nazi Party!

Oh the horror, the horror!

Dingo
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* (worse that a hundred thousand Zombie BSB reunion fanfic sites!!!)
** amusingly the spell-check suggested ‘muesli’.
‘Michigan muesli nazis, I hate Michigan muesli Nazis!’ [drives into to Michigan muesli nazis on the bridge, forcing them to dive off the bridge into the stream. Then they fall apart into a brown, sodden Papier-mâché like goop, clogging the stream…]