A symphony orchestra is performing Beethoven's 9th in the park. It's so windy that the music sheets need to be tied down so they won't blow away.

The tuba players just did their first bit, and they won't need to perform for a while, so they go to the bar across the street to get some drinks. Finally they hear that their next part coming soon, so they go back across the street. But they're so drunk, they can't untie the music!

So the conductor looks over, and sees the tuba players, stumbling over each other trying to untie the music. He freaks out and thinks, "Oh no! It's the bottom of the ninth, the bases are loaded, and the score is tied!"

This is a collection of actual student bloopers collected by teachers from 8th grade through college.The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and more...

A man is walking around the streets of New York one day when he spies an old friend of his from college. "Boris!" he yells. "I haven't seen you in ages! How have you been?"

"Well," Boris replies. "I am the piccolo player for the International Orchestra."

"Spectacular!" the man replies.

"It is not what you might think, my friend. We play for the King of England, he loves the music. He says' Fill the instruments with gold!' and they fill the tuba with gold and they fill the trombone with gold, and me with the goddamn piccolo. We play for the Queen of France. She loves the music. She says' Fill the instruments with silver!' and they fill the tuba with silver and they fill the trombone with silver, and me with the goddamn piccolo. Then we play for the czar of Russia. He hates the music. He says' Shove the instruments up their asses!' and the tuba doesn't fit and the trombone doesn't fit, AND ME WITH more...

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Dave W: Rastus and Fifi when out for a walk.
They came upon a cemetary. Rastus says: Fifi, how about I prop you up on one of these tombstones. and we'll knock off a little piece. Fifi snaps back, Rastus, you know I get a rash on my back when we do that. Rastus keeps saying, Oh, it'll be just fine Fifi. Fifi finally gives in and lets Rastus put her up on the tombstone. In a liitle while, Fifi says, "Rastus, do I have a rash on my back? Rastus replies: Fifi, I don't know about your back, but yo ass done died in 1923.

Pamela Pines: Heart Felt Poem. THANK YOU TO ALL WARRIORS (SOLDIERS) who have fought for our freedom & protected us. AND THANK YOU TO THOSE WHO STILL DO THIS FOR US.

JiJi: Rubbish!!!!!!!!!!

Henry: It is really funny. I was just about to add this joke to the website and saw it here!

Mike Dougherty: This is seriously my favorite joke ever. I mentioned it to one of our Language Arts professors, who just kind of guffawed. A few days later she told me her whole department was gunning for me. (I guess she spread it around.)

IlikeTrAINS: Bruh yo hairline so far back i need binoculars to see it

Ludwig Van Beethoven: I love it make more please

Ludwig Van Beethoven: I love it! at the end, it was so funny!:)

Jay: This is not a joke! This is not a forum for political views. So sad. I don't suppose I need to hold my breath for a derogatory Hillary joke anytime soon, right?

Jayden: if ur math teacher told u to solve a hairline problem, it would be impossible