I have a slightly different problem, in that my "thinking face" looks grumpy.

Cue people asking why I'm grumpy, me saying I'm not grumpy it's just my thinking face, them asking why I won't tell them what's wrong round and round in circles by the end of which I am feeling grumpy because they are bugging me so much and the other person then being smugly self-satisfied because they were proven "right".

Me: So, what were you thinking about doing for dinner?Him: I don't know. What do you want?Me: *lists off a few local places*Him: No, I don't really feel like any of them.Me: Okay, what do you want to do?Him: I don't know, what do you want?Me: Well, you're paying for it, so you decide.Him: I can't think of anything.Me: Are you hungry?Him: Yeah, I'm starving.Me: Well, how about *lists off a few more places*Him: No, that's more than I'm willing to spend.Me: Okay, fast food?Him: No, I don't want fast food, I want to eat healthier.Me: How about we go to the store and pick something out and I'll cook it.Him: I don't want to wait that long.

On and on and on forever. And when I try TELLING him what we're doing for dinner, he'll veto it.

Seriously, how hard would it be for him to make a short list of where he likes to eat in the area and refer to that when he's hungry? Or keep food in the house for me to cook? I'm banging my head against a wall daily with him!

I'd be SO tempted to say "Okay, I'm going to go out and get X. Get what you want."

I had a friend do that to me once. we were heading out on a saturday morning and she wanted breakfast. fine, so I asked her what she wanted "Bagels or maybe McDonalds" Well, either one is fine with me, so which one? "i don't knoooooooooow, I can't decide, i don't know what I feeeeel like having"

I said ok, but you need to decide soon as i have to turn around for bagels, and once I'm past the turnoff, I'm not going back. and then you'll get what you get. She did manage to tell me bagels before I hit the turnaround but really? its' not rocket science.

I will admit some days I don't know what i want to eat at lunch, but I simply step back in the cafeteria, let others go ahead of me, unitl I've made up my mind.

Oh, man - I go through this with DP regularly at dinnertime. "Do you want chicken? Fish? Pork? Beef? Pizza? How about chicken and rice? Or beef and olive oil potatoes? How about pork chops and mashed potatoes? Chinese delivery?" until I've run through every item in the house, and all the takeout places near the house. Then half the time she wants the same three things - but I don't dare suggest those first, or she'll decide she wants the most time consuming food in the house.

I'm just glad DD isn't at home for this stuff - then I have the two of them going "Well, that sounds OK, but...." Argh!

I have a slightly different problem, in that my "thinking face" looks grumpy.

Cue people asking why I'm grumpy, me saying I'm not grumpy it's just my thinking face, them asking why I won't tell them what's wrong round and round in circles by the end of which I am feeling grumpy because they are bugging me so much and the other person then being smugly self-satisfied because they were proven "right".

I get this too, but mainly when I'm not as chatty as I normally can be. That's becasue I'm tired or cranky, or whatever and I simply don't have it in me to be my normal chatty, happy self. I've found when I'm really tired, I get really cranky. So rather than inflict my crankiness on others, I just try and keep to myself. Which leads to the "are you ok, etc" questions.

Ahh, the "what/where do we eat" run around .At home it's pretty easy, the default is pasta. But then you have to choose which pasta and which sauce. It's not too hard and we don't always consult the other about which pasta or sauce.Carbonara takes more time so that's usually whenever I feel like it.

We just instituted the fact that each week one of us has to choose a recipe and we try it during the weekend - drove me bonker that I had to be the first one to come up with something when he's the one that wanted to institute the rule. grrrr.(that's a spin off of our 'rule' that we have to decide what we do for the weekend in turn - I hate when it's my turn )

Once or twice he tried to have me choose which of the 20+ Japaneses restaurants we where going to, when he was the one who wanted Japanese. I quickly put my foot down on this.- You wanted it, you choose -. Just like - You want to go out, you come up with something then.-

Me: So, what were you thinking about doing for dinner?Him: I don't know. What do you want?Me: *lists off a few local places*Him: No, I don't really feel like any of them.Me: Okay, what do you want to do?Him: I don't know, what do you want?...

On and on and on forever. And when I try TELLING him what we're doing for dinner, he'll veto it.

I'd be SO tempted to say "Okay, I'm going to go out and get X. Get what you want."

I had a friend do that to me once. we were heading out on a saturday morning and she wanted breakfast. fine, so I asked her what she wanted "Bagels or maybe McDonalds" Well, either one is fine with me, so which one? "i don't knoooooooooow, I can't decide, i don't know what I feeeeel like having"

I said ok, but you need to decide soon as i have to turn around for bagels, and once I'm past the turnoff, I'm not going back. and then you'll get what you get. She did manage to tell me bagels before I hit the turnaround but really? its' not rocket science.

I will admit some days I don't know what i want to eat at lunch, but I simply step back in the cafeteria, let others go ahead of me, unitl I've made up my mind.

Oh, man - I go through this with DP regularly at dinnertime. "Do you want chicken? Fish? Pork? Beef? Pizza? How about chicken and rice? Or beef and olive oil potatoes? How about pork chops and mashed potatoes? Chinese delivery?" until I've run through every item in the house, and all the takeout places near the house. Then half the time she wants the same three things - but I don't dare suggest those first, or she'll decide she wants the most time consuming food in the house.

I'm just glad DD isn't at home for this stuff - then I have the two of them going "Well, that sounds OK, but...." Argh!

This is DH and Netflix. We have different tastes in movies...he likes action, war movies, some anime. I prefer classics, thrillers, documentaries. He refuses to add movies to the queue, or tell me what he'd like me to add. I've asked many, many times. Even if I try to guess at a movie based on his previous likes, he's already seen it and didn't like it, or doesn't like Actor, or the premise is silly, or whatever.

Then he goes and gripes to his friends how I monopolize the queue with my stupid old movies and documentaries. I just happily have my Bette Davis film festival or whatever and let him grouse on his own.

Me: So, what were you thinking about doing for dinner?Him: I don't know. What do you want?Me: *lists off a few local places*Him: No, I don't really feel like any of them.Me: Okay, what do you want to do?Him: I don't know, what do you want?Me: Well, you're paying for it, so you decide.Him: I can't think of anything.Me: Are you hungry?Him: Yeah, I'm starving.Me: Well, how about *lists off a few more places*Him: No, that's more than I'm willing to spend.Me: Okay, fast food?Him: No, I don't want fast food, I want to eat healthier.Me: How about we go to the store and pick something out and I'll cook it.Him: I don't want to wait that long.

On and on and on forever. And when I try TELLING him what we're doing for dinner, he'll veto it.

Seriously, how hard would it be for him to make a short list of where he likes to eat in the area and refer to that when he's hungry? Or keep food in the house for me to cook? I'm banging my head against a wall daily with him!

I'd be SO tempted to say "Okay, I'm going to go out and get X. Get what you want."

I had a friend do that to me once. we were heading out on a saturday morning and she wanted breakfast. fine, so I asked her what she wanted "Bagels or maybe McDonalds" Well, either one is fine with me, so which one? "i don't knoooooooooow, I can't decide, i don't know what I feeeeel like having"

I said ok, but you need to decide soon as i have to turn around for bagels, and once I'm past the turnoff, I'm not going back. and then you'll get what you get. She did manage to tell me bagels before I hit the turnaround but really? its' not rocket science.

I will admit some days I don't know what i want to eat at lunch, but I simply step back in the cafeteria, let others go ahead of me, unitl I've made up my mind.

Oh, man - I go through this with DP regularly at dinnertime. "Do you want chicken? Fish? Pork? Beef? Pizza? How about chicken and rice? Or beef and olive oil potatoes? How about pork chops and mashed potatoes? Chinese delivery?" until I've run through every item in the house, and all the takeout places near the house. Then half the time she wants the same three things - but I don't dare suggest those first, or she'll decide she wants the most time consuming food in the house.

I'm just glad DD isn't at home for this stuff - then I have the two of them going "Well, that sounds OK, but...." Argh!

That's when you go ahead and make/buy what YOU want to eat. If they choose not to eat it when you put it on the table, that's THEIR problem! They can make/buy it themselves.

If you've ever dealt with toddlers, you know that you don't go down a list, asking "Do you want this? Do you want that? Do you want the other?" Because the toddler, reveling in his power, will say, "NO!" to everything, even if he truly wants one of the choices. You either give him a choice, "Do you want this or that?" with NO other options, or just make the choice for him and deal with the tantrums.

The OP has overgrown toddlers on her hands, and should treat them as such.

Logged

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~It's true. Money can't buy happiness. You have to turn it into books first. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Today's annoyance? Over air conditioned places in summer. When everyone in the office, men and women alike, are in long sleeves and sweaters, turn the temperature somewhere above freezing! In winter, same building, I have to have a fan to stay cool. I know it's possible to adjust the temperature somehow!

Today's annoyance? Over air conditioned places in summer. When everyone in the office, men and women alike, are in long sleeves and sweaters, turn the temperature somewhere above freezing! In winter, same building, I have to have a fan to stay cool. I know it's possible to adjust the temperature somehow!

You work in my old office! I suggest finding the finance department as they seemed to be the ones who got to dictate the temperature...

Today's annoyance? Over air conditioned places in summer. When everyone in the office, men and women alike, are in long sleeves and sweaters, turn the temperature somewhere above freezing! In winter, same building, I have to have a fan to stay cool. I know it's possible to adjust the temperature somehow!

Oh, yes! That was our problem. When the library was renovated, an HVAC system was installed for the benefit of the stacks and the archive collections. That was good for the material but lousy for the people who had to work there.

To visitors, the office must have looked outright Dickensian.

We all wore shawls and sweaters the year round. A few shawls were also kept near the reading room for the convenience of readers whose lips were turning blue. I kept a small electric heater under my desk and a CW did his typing while wearing fingerless gloves.

Going out after lunch for a few minutes in the July heat was a great relief.