Olympic brand enforcers out in full force for London Games

LONDON — As almost everyone in the world must know by now, there may not be enough guards to provide security for the 2012 London Olympics because of a planning and hiring fiasco.

Alas, there are no such concerns about the number of enforcement officers and lawyers charged with checking for violations of the Games’ oppressive brand protection regulations.

The Orwellian-sounding Olympic Deliverance Committee has 280 Olympic brand enforcers authorized by the government fanning across Britain this week to ensure nobody uses the five hallowed rings for any purpose unless they have paid a fortune to Olympic organizers to do so.

The London Organizing Committee (LOCOG) has a second team of zealots doing similar work on behalf of the rich and powerful.

Among the offences these sleuths are ferreting out under the Olympic Games Act (2006) are putting two of the words “games” “2012” “Twenty Twelve,” “gold,” “bronze” or “medal” in the same sentence.

Offenders could be on the hook for fines of more than $30,000.

Heck, there is even said to be a legal ban on spectators uploading personal photos of the London Games onto social networking sites such as Facebook.

Imagine the outcry in Canada if the NHL tried such heavy-handed tactics to prevent a bar or individual from celebrating the Stanley Cup in words or with a photo?

Predictably, the British media, which has never seen an underdog it didn’t love, has been in high dudgeon over what it regards as a matter of free speech. The roundup by the authorities has so far implicated an 81-year-old grandmother of six from Norfolk who made a tiny sweater with the Olympics rings for a child’s doll that her knitting circle intended to sell through a church charity for $1.63.

Joy Tomkins was ordered to withdraw the offending doll from sale to avoid possible legal action.

Also at risk of being put in the docket is a south London cafe, which had the temerity to hang five bagels in its window. Community wardens ordered the offending bagels to be removed or legal action would follow.

The parents of the Duchess of Cambridge — Kate Middleton, whose partner, Prince William, may one day rule Britannia — may have run afoul of the law, too. The Middletons’ potential offence was advertising trinkets such as mugs for sale on their catering website using the words “2012” and “Games.” The London Organizing Committee has launched an investigation.

Lord Coe, who as plain Seb Coe was once a world-class middle-distance runner, might be described as “the lord of the rings.”

Coe, who oversees the London Games, got into the churlish Olympic spirit last week by declaring on BBC Radio 4 that if any spectator so much as dared wear a T-shirt with the word Pepsi emblazoned on it the offender would be banished from the venue so as to not hurt the feelings of Coca-Cola, which has paid an undisclosed but sky-high sum to be the Olympics’ official unhealthy drink.

Others who have been rebuked include a butcher who fashioned sausage links in the shape of an Olympic logo and a florist who did something similar with the five Olympic colours. And the 800 retailers selling food at Olympic sites have, with the exception of one fish and chip shop, been banned from selling french fries, lest McDonalds feels its rights are being usurped.

This has all been too much for London’s publicity hungry mayor, Boris Johnson, who is said to lust after Prime Minister David Cameron’s job.

Johnson earned himself a banner headline across the front page of Saturday’s usually solidly pro-business Financial Times by attacking the Olympic brand “insanity.”

Similar issues arose at the Vancouver Olympics. Its organizers had the gall to trademark the words “with glowing hearts” and “des plus brillants exploits,” which they stole from O Canada. There were also problems at the Sydney and Beijing Games, but nothing on the scale of the public relations disaster being faced by the IOC in London for threatening grandmothers and local florists.

The scaremongering has had a sour effect. The Queen’s Diamond Jubilee resulted in streets being papered in red, white and blue. Despite the rain, the pervasive mood was joy and pride. But other than advertising by official sponsors such as Visa, Adidas and Samsung — which have paid more than $1 billion for the privilege and the many garish purple signs announcing Olympic venues and which roads will be reserved for Olympic fat cats — there is scant evidence anywhere in London that it is about to host the greatest show on earth.

Between that, the appalling weather and the security shortcomings, it has been widely noted that the Games have had a pall over them that many hope will be lifted by a smashing Opening Ceremonies on Friday.

Michael Payne, whom the Independent newspaper described as the “father of Olympic branding,” predicted that the overbearing overreach of Olympic organizers and their allies in government in order to protect what are, in effect, monopolies, could hurt the Olympic movement and come back to haunt the sponsors.

“I have said to LOCOG and the IOC, ‘I think you’re scoring an own goal here.'” Payne said. “The controls and measures have gone too far when it is starting to suffocate local street traders.

“The public do get it. They do understand that Coca-Cola has paid, Pepsi hasn’t, so Coca-Cola should be entitled to provide the soft drinks, but what’s that got to do with a flaming torch baguette in a cafe?”

Postmedia's international affairs columnist is Canada's longest serving foreign correspondent. He has lived abroad for 30 years in Europe, the Middle East, Far East and, most recently, Afghanistan. His... read more work has taken him to 155 countries, all U.S. states, Canadian provinces and territories and the Magnetic North Pole. Professional interests include international relations, security issues, conflict zones and the Arctic. Personal enthusiasms include military histories, historical novels, hockey, baseball, fishing for pickerel and travel by train or ship to anywhere.View author's profile