Hi guys my name is Renkun that's my first own Housepets! Fan story (yes i know my english writing ability is not perfect )before i start

-first i want thanks you Valerio your words of encouragement have really helped me very much at the begin

-I cannot thank you enough musclear326 that you helped me as beta reader and with my grammar problem

Prologue

23. December 2016

It was a cold and snow-covered day in Babylon garden. As 2 female dogs went for a walk at the park, the two talked eased and did not notice the coldness.

She noticed time did not pass like it should at all and it got dark fast but this was nothing special. Around this time of year the night fascinated the little females.

A paw with bright fur put itself on her shoulder and a sweet voice told her “Come already Stellar, lets go home. Your father waits for us surely. He might make some hot cocoa for us.” In a slow walk the two went home and talked relaxed about the last events.

Finally at home, they became aware of an easily amused voice, welcoming from the kitchen.

Rex came from the kitchen a little flour still stuck to his paws. “Hey my cute girls, did you enjoy your walk?” asked the big bulldog curiously.

Stellar put her scarf away and went into the living room to warm up.

“Yes, daddy. It was a wonderful walk with Mom, you know that I simply love the winter days.”

Stellar was a small, bright little girl with bright fur and little distinctive muscles but that's all the genes.

“Oh yes, how could I forget this, as you were a little younger when we could barely get you out the snow?” laughed Rex happy. ”Oh dad, can Luna and Jasper come over here to play tomorrow?” Rex sighed obviously but then saw in his little daughter's face as she looked him with big puppy eyes. How could he have said 'NO' to his little daughter?

“OK you've won.” He said and sat down in his chair with the newspaper “We can invite Peanut and Grape at once, too. We do not have them for a long time.” Called Tarot from the kitchen, where she helped to prepare lunch.

"What would happen if I say no?”Asked Rex carefully, "that would be bad since I have already invited them about 2 weeks ago but wanted to surprise you.” Rex rolled his eyes, eyebrows high.

“Do not exaggerate it honey” growled Tarot.Stellar sat down next to her father and asked him, "dad are you going to play Santa Claus for the little dogs and cats in the neighborhood again this year?"

Rex had kept the secret for a long time, it was embarrassing for him but he made it with pleasure from the little ones. Only Tarot, Fox, Stellar and the parents of the little ones knew of this secret but this suited him well. Only one jest made from this and that annoyed him about his soft side.

“I am not as young like in the past, but why not.” Tarot nodded happily at him, a pleasure of seeing sent through his body. He could feel enthusiastic, it looked a little weird but he was always unbelievably kind to the little ones.

-Sandwich House 8:00pm

“It was really nice for Rex to invite us. I did not expect any of it in all honesty is all.” Said Peanut holding his good collar readying himself for tomorrow.

Grape threw an amused look over her shoulder to her sweetheart and asked smirking, “Oh yes, it becomes one particularly big surprise when you have everything prepared for you. Doesn't it Peanut?”

“Yes, everything is ready for tomorrow." He hoped inwardly, for it would be calmer this year then it has in the years before.

here a couple of information for the start

(1).Jasper and Luna are twins and two years old the fur from both is pitch-black Jasper and Luna are both cats

(2)in the story give it more as enough humans and parents don't worry

_________________I'm a happy playfull kitty in a party of my soul but form time to time a evil wolf that's my soul and i love it and I would want to change it never

so people here is the next part I hope you like it(and my grammar not too bad is )

ACT 1

Chapter 1.1

Old friend’s new problems

24. December

07:55 House from Rex and Tarot

Tarot felt itself miserable the whole night had she not slept.She had vision of the dragon spirit she wanted to speak with her but why now again for years she had nothing more belongs to it and now suddenly?Tarot drew itself in her old room back she had it locked years ago to many bad memories.“What do you want from me dragon?”Growled she “Is that to a kind of an old girlfriend welcome?” asked she readily resentful. Tarot had to pull oneself together that she not got a tantrum.“Old girlfriend says YOU? After all what you done have?! You have nearly my whole live destroyed and now are you here again?!” Dragon felt itself bad she knew she had committed a great mistake in the past she was selfish and made her girlfriend very grieve and a giving her a dark secret that her family could destroy.“If you continue to yell wakes you the two sure up and you probably do not want that she hear us right?”“What do actually want you from me?” In the next moment they stood face to face towards “I just want only talk not more it’s about you and Stellar I think you know what I mean"Tarot sat down in front of the huge spirit dragon and thought hard “Ok I'll give you a chance but if I see that you one of your old tricks try you know what happens then or?”In her paw she holds an old pendant in the form of a crescent moon

"Yes, I remember very well," her glance fell on the pendant and she cursed the Great Kitsune for that cursed thing,

11:30 Lakefield House

“Ah finally back home seems that's not much changed has while I was away” said Jack, relaxed. Next to him, he suddenly heard a few votes of two young cats "Hello are you Uncle Lakefield?"“Jack Lakefield is my name but Uncle?” It was in the past year, probably more going on than he thought“Hello Mr. Lakefield I hope the two they have she not harasses she tell Uncle too every here” Jack was still a little confused “Don't worry, Mrs. It surprised me just a little to hear that I am a Uncle"Jack took his luggage and carried it into his house as long as he had not been here, he opened the windows quickly the musty smell was hardly to borne.“You can come in Mia you do not need to wait outside Rex is not here”A young woman entered the house all furniture covered with sheets so that nothing was filthy “You know I like him but my phobia is the problem....”Mia pulled some sheets from the sofa and sat down first, she liked all the animals only with bulldog had she bad experiences as little girl and Jack's dog was the sole Bulldog in whole Babylon's garden the fate has a strange sense of humor.Jack turned to Mia about "I make myself fresh and then I visit my little granddaughter maybe would you to come with me? I’m sure she would happy to meet her grandma in spe"Mia looked at her betrothed slightly reproachful.Mia came over to Jack gave him a quick kiss and said "Call me once again grandma and you can forget the engagement, Jack understood?"

13:15 House from Rex and Tarot

Stellar was incredibly excited Luna and Jasper came not often to visit. There was a knock at the door Stellar immediately ran out to greet their friends "Luna, Jasper, it's nice that you both ...." Grape interrupted quickly, "I'm sorry that I disappoint you, but we are it only Peanut and Grape can we come in?" Stellar eyes shone with joy as she the two saw “But of course! Daddy is up and prepares for tonight before” peanut and grape saw each other in astonishment, "we go up and say quickly hello"“Rex are you here?”He was completely engrossed in it to dress the old Santa Claus costume; the two could not believe what they saw the big bulldog in a Santa costume was just too funny.Peanut made quickly a photo, he had brought the camera indeed for something else but he just could not resist."Hey Rex, the costume suits you maybe on stomach a little tight or?" called grape while she stood in the door with a grin on her face“What the hell did you two here?!" shouted Rex totally shocked“We only wanted to say hello by the way where is Tarot?” Rex remarked that he had the whole morning tarot not seen what was very unusual.Together with Stellar,Peanut and Grape he searched the house but there was no sign from Tarot.Peanut saw first of all that Tarot's old room was open; he had been present when Tarot it three years before locked had.She had all her friends requested her not to ask about the reason. Peanut saw himself short inside the room around "Hey, I guess I had found something here" on the ground was a pentagram and behind a pile books that he not reading could was a old letter with the overprint "for my beloved Rex".

Notes 1: Jack Lake Field is Rex's dad he and Mia are just back from a one year long trip around the world after 6 months she were betrothed it was a part from his plan (I have Rick asked if the name for Rex owner ok is)

Mia is Jack's girlfriend and 28 years young more have I at the moment not^^

Stellar is almost the exact likeness of Tarot she is something bigger and stronger as her mother and hath a little brown spot behind her ear but else barely a distinguish

The three live im old house from Sabrina and Tarot Sabrina lives now with Fido together she had it her ceded after her wedding it was hard enough for the little bride alone already her husband with his idiosyncrasies.

_________________I'm a happy playfull kitty in a party of my soul but form time to time a evil wolf that's my soul and i love it and I would want to change it never

I'm sorry but that's is wrong but it was my mistake. English is just hard for me.Yes the two live together but she are not married, I meant rather Tarot as the little bride (she is not really big but althought cuter)But I think this part in the story can I without problems change that the both marry.

(thank you a new free idea for the story )

_________________I'm a happy playfull kitty in a party of my soul but form time to time a evil wolf that's my soul and i love it and I would want to change it never

2.Stellar went with Grape together too Tarots roomGrape entered the small room, followed from Rex "wow pretty narrow here"Everything in the room was a bit strange but somehow cozy.Tarot had here often spent their time with Sabrina or dragon she was like a big sister for her. Sabrina found it every time funny when the little Tarot once again peeved was since dragon again with Peanut flirted had. "Peanut you've already found something? “, he shook his head a little disappointed "No, I'm sorry it's hard to find something in here but ..." Peanut had a little too much on the bookshelf leaning and had fallen to "Peanut is all ok with you?“

Grape was immediately rushed to him,"I'm fine don't worry "on the floor beside him lay an old letter; he seemed to be about three years old.

Peanut lifted the old letter up and read the overprint. "Rex, I think…”she suddenly heard a very familiar voice,

"Hey Grape, Peanie what makes all of you up here?" The four looked a little confused “Mom, where were you? We have looked everywhere for you why have you said nothing?" asked Stellar "I'm sorry that I had said nothing. I was only over to Sabrina to talking with her about a few things and the good old times"it was actually not at Tarot's kind go away without telling anyone what.

"I think we should go back down there can we still talk a lot better."She nodded at each other and went back down to the living room, "I'll bring our dear friends a drink. Grape you want sure milk right?And peanut thee I bring your favorite drink." "Wait Mum I'll help you quickly" Stellar followed her mother in the kitchen "and have you everything ready for dad's Christmas present? I hope he is happy. You are have really worked hard on it"Grape looked like the two women are cheerful in the kitchen talking she poke Rex gently in the rip "you're really a lucky guy that you to get such a wonderful girl and then still a really sweet daughter Tarot is much too good for you“. He leaned over and spoke with sweet voice "Say that again and I chain you on the next tree Grape" but deep in his heart knew he that she had right.Tarot brought the two friends their drinks “Her for Grape a lukewarm milk and for Peanut a Root Beer.”"You two can us calm more often visit.Stellar is always overhappy when you both come."

"Hey, make a couple of photos peanut else did you had the camera for nothing brought" Peanut had thought of everything but the camera he had totally forgotten he did not knew what it was but today was Tarot kind of weird.

"Hey wait Peanut! I was not ready therefore" said she easily offended"To late Tarot and don’t worry you look every time good on the picture" he said while he was at it to make more pictures of Grape and Stellar."You're sweet Peanie” she blushed a little and gave him a fast kiss on the cheek.

Rex was not really photogenic that know Peanut but, furthermore had he already a special one picture of him.Rex was a good buddy for Peanut in the last years become.Tarot had him asked to talk with Peanut and Grape the both were her best friend and for Stellar more or less to Aunt and Uncle become.Grape snapped the camera "I think that will be a nice wallpaper on my pc"Rex throbbed Grape on her shoulder "What have you because here Grape let me see" she went a few steps back "Oh that's nothing only a couple of privat pictures"

Tarot went to Rex and pulled him on his ear away "I'm sorry you know how he can be sometimes," Grape nodded understandingly "I've the same problem at home. If you time have must you show me one or two of your tricks maybe works it by Peanut too."The two laughed heartily."I'll do that with pleasure"said Tarot happily

"Oh just look how late it is already I think we should slow go." said Grape a little disappointed

"Before you go here is your Christmas present of us three" with these words gave Tarot a little package in Peanuts paws.

"And here's your Christmas present this is for Rex and Tarot. And this is for Stellar but not open before tomorrow ok?" Stellar nodded very quickly, "I promise it you aunt Grape"With friendly smile they both went.They decided to go a bit through the park, it was cold but the night was beautiful and they could hold her hands without being disturbed.

After the two had gone Rex stood up."I'll then make me too ready" Tarot came to him, gave him a long kiss, "Ok have fun at the club and say hello to Fido and Fox if you see she“

"Um, yes, if I see she will I greet she from you, we see us tonight, sweetheart.""Don't forget your Costume daddy” he stroke soft over her fluffy head "Thanks Stellar you are really the best daughter in the world."

the end of this part is at 18:51

end from chapter 1

_________________I'm a happy playfull kitty in a party of my soul but form time to time a evil wolf that's my soul and i love it and I would want to change it never

Last edited by Renkun on Sat Jan 14, 2012 3:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Chapter 2 is already in work new and good ideas to find is really not easy.

If I could draw I'd make a picture from the both as bridal couple with the name "The Beauty and the Beast" (meant is Tarot and Rex and yes I know that the name stolen is) maybe I try it if I have time and no ideas for the story

If one of you wants to try it I've nothing against

_________________I'm a happy playfull kitty in a party of my soul but form time to time a evil wolf that's my soul and i love it and I would want to change it never

And here is the a fresh new update^^A big thank you here again to musclear for his help as a beta reader

Chapter 2

24. December

09:00 Spectral Room

Tarot sighed, she had noticed it but did not want to admit it.It could simply not be true but the reality spoke against all the little details that were so obvious but they had from fear, always closed their eyes.Dragon tried to talk peacefully with her. "I've known you long enough my love and I know what you are thinking about."

"No that's not true I'm totally sure!" She said quickly.

"You could not accept that Rex and I but not your oh so beloved Peanut have married."Dragon shook her head "But my dear, I really only wanted the best for both of you. That's the reason why I've done it."

"You mean probably the best for you. For my feelings you still do not have a bit of thought more at this moment."Tarot saw the pendant in her paws.Great Kitsune had used it to seal dragon.He had it given to Tarot, but with a note saying that if she should be used again; that it would be a long time time, not just for a few years maybe forever.

That was a hard fate but Dragon had broken the rules and interfered in the other life out of selflessness. "I'm sorry but I must you seal again" said Tarot

"I'm sorry but I cannot allow you…" said dragon while her eyes shone“Not before I know exactly one thing please forgive me Tarot ....”

11:30 Good ol dog’s club

Bino walked back and forth, today was the annual Christmas party for the club and Fox was no where to be found.

It had everything prepared, the club members had long and hard worked for it. Joey was on the spot for Bino at the last preparations to help."Bino do you think we should not invite the two? Alone for old time’s sake it would be nice to invite them at least."

Silence... Joey knew what that meant, he knew his brother well enough to know that Bino always remained stubborn.

"You, as well as I do, know that he has always been loyal. He was so, why do you not jump finally about your shadow? “Asked Joey carefully"We reject the answer ourselves so don't ask stupid questions! "Fido stand behind Bino" still the old lyre how? Have you already found a replacement for Rex?"

Bino turned away. Rex was one of his best men yet a bit strange but good. Then he dated the ex-girlfriend of one of these cat lovers, even though he supposedly hated them.

“Unfortunately no, it is difficult to find someone as good as him”

"Incidentally, Fido what do you want here actually? Do you not have something in the police to do or something?" He hissed.

“No I have more than enough time but I wanted to briefly take a look at what the club has become. I think I will go now, Sabrina is waiting outside and we still have a lot to do today until tonight. Oh by the way, Joey how does it go with your sweetie?”Joey stood up and went a bit around in the room before he answered,“You know she is as cheerful as ever but at the moment she is slightly calmer. We have a date tonight at Heathcliff's with Squeak. It was her idea so please don’t ask.”

14:12 Lakefield house

Jack made himself ready, as Rex and his family are on their way.There was much news and a lot more to tell. He wanted to grade on the way but his cell phone rang.

He saw the number and a sigh escaped him. "Yes, what is so urgent?"Jill Sandwich was on the phone, "Jack come to the hospital we need you here there is an emergency!"

Jane has been slowly growing impatient, "There was a car crash with two small black cats involved it does not look good.”

Jack rammed his fist into the table soon he was back. What happened here?

"Mia, I must go to the hospital there was an accident."He ran out the door, could it be? Were those the two from today? He would not allow it. It was still too early for that, and today especially he could not fail.

17:42 a dark Side Street

"I believe she did not follow us, Miss Stone. It just all went too quickly, those two wanted to cross the street and then the terrible sound..."

"Stay calm Norman, have you finally found my beloved girl or not?" He heard from the speaker it was the voice of a gentlewoman.

“Yes, miss Stone. She definitely had black fur that was unmistakable. What should we do now?"

“The only thing we should do is to wait until the situation has calmed down. Norman bring them back home, there is still much to do.”

Norman was so tense, he had injured two innocent animals.

Norman was an incredible friend of animals but Miss Stone had only one goal. She wanted her beloved daughter back and nothing would step in her way.

“As you wish Miss Stone” with these words she drove the black limo away without realizing that she was being closely observed.

it is intentionally yet the same day I would show what otherwise happened is.

_________________I'm a happy playfull kitty in a party of my soul but form time to time a evil wolf that's my soul and i love it and I would want to change it never

Last edited by Renkun on Fri Jan 13, 2012 9:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

Thu Jan 12, 2012 9:46 am

copper

Puppy Wrangler

Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pmPosts: 6362Location: Florida

Re: Hard Shell Soft Core

Oooh! A villain appears! I wonder how this goes.

I wonder what the spirit dragon want now. Those Cosmic beings and their games...

_________________My charactersEverybody has a story to tell. What's yours?

Jack raced with full throttle in the deep garage he had his thoughts not more under control in his head were only still images of the small cats which him at midday today so cheerful had greeted, panting ran he up the stairs."Here...am... I..." the breathing fell him visibly difficult "Calm down, Jack we have you treated so well we went but we must today must urgently operate otherwise it looks for the two not good from."Jill had Jack has never before so seen, she knew how he loved animals he had at that time also Rex when he was still a puppy was adopted.

Nobody wanted Rex adopt as he still young was he had no confidence to the humans and not without reason as he came into the animal shelter was he very seriously injured.

The door opened slowly and Max came in "Oh hi maxi what wilt you here?"Asked Jill curious "I have heard the here after an accident two little kittens were admitted and I wanted to ..."

Jill stood up and patted him slightly the head "Don't worry the small, it will soon better go"

Jack ran to max took him on the collar and held him firmly "You! Are thou the father of the small? Where were you as the accident happened? Why are you only now here? Talk with me!"

Max drove his claws and hit jack a small wound on the hand "I know it not understood?!"

Jack let Max down and kept the bleeding hand "What do you mean with: I know it not?"

Max went to the window and saw in the starry night, "I mean that: I don’t know whether I am the father or not ok?"

Jack sat down on a bench Jill had a bandaged fetched "How can you that not know?"

"It was only a brief flirtation but not more but the boy look exactly like me when I was young but I was not her only lover in the time, so let us not more talk of it ok?" Max was close to tears.

"Why interested you thee so for the two jack? “ He laid his head a bit to the side and stared at Jack to"It is only ... they remind me of someone special that's all,"

A doctor came to jack to him and whispered something to "ok Max I must go the surgery waits for if you like you can stay here"Max was alone on the corridor everything seemed so sterile and cold "Hey maxi long time no more seen""Perfect now I also hear Amy's voice" he said cynical "I'm here Max!" spoke a silver striped cat behind him.

21:28 Babylon’s Garden Gym

Rex was are almost two hours here and exercised his muscles"Hey Rex everything ok with you?"Asked Sergeant Ralph

"Yes everything is clear with me but why asked thou ever?" Ralph showed only on the sandbag. "Because of the sandbag who good one hour no sand more has" Only now noticed Rex the small sand mountain that piled up had.

"I am a little confused that is all," Ralph knocked him soothingly on the shoulder "Don't worry, if you want to talk we are here."

"I'm sorry guys but I must go now. I've still today what to do we see us" said Rex and went to the door.

Ralph followed him with rapid steps "let yourself soon again here see the pups and kitten need hers coach."

23:58 Sandwich House

Peanut and Grape sat in front of the fireplace Dad slept upstairs and her mom was still in the hospital.

That was the saddest Christmas all time they were now two years together not officially but they loved each other.

"Grape let us mutually our Christmas gifts swap I will not wait until tomorrow ... "Grape sighed "Ok make we our own celebration now and tomorrow together with mom and dad."

Grape handed Peanut a small envelope he opened it very carefully."I hope you like it Peanut. I knew not quite what I should give thee but Mom had brought me to the idea."Peanut saw Grape a bit confused at and hold a card in his paw "but there is nothing on the card"

She giggled "yes you small stupid dog whatever you wishes can you write up no matter what it is that's my present for you."

He Grinned over the entire face "So I can really everything have what I me wish? “ Asked he again after "yes really everything but say why smirks you so Peanut?”He ran quickly into his room "I would my desire now gladly redeem" he gave Grape the card back and she read his wish.

"Um yes I said everything but want you that really from me?"Peanut came slowly on all fours to her. "Yes, exactly this, and nothing else of course only if you want that too,"Grape has been slightly red "Ok, but only once clear?"“What only once? This is not fair Grape at least three times" Peanut looked Grape with big puppy eyes on."Three times are you crazy Peanut?" Grape laid a paw on Peanuts head."Oh come Sabrina and Fido have do it too made furthermore is this my Christmas gift so please..."Grape lifted her eyebrows up "ok three times but now let's finally the puppies eyes.”

"Oh I had it almost forgot here for you," Peanut rummaged in a small drawer and gave her a little package."Here is your Christmas gift Grape I hope you like it," she opened it carefully it was a small casket with a little silver ring in on the box was a memo with the inscription: for the sweetest cat in the world in love your stupid mutt Peanut.“Wow Peanut the ring is beautiful, but how did you?” He put his arm around his beloved cat“I’ve the last 4 months with dad worked it was pretty hard, but if you are happy was it worth.” She snuggled into his arm "Merry Christmas Peanut" and gave him a long kiss.

hints : (1) Amy is six years old her fur is black and have silver stripe she is mother from Luna and Jasper

(2) Rex works now as a coach for the little puppies and kittens in babylons garden He dosn't not work more for Bino as bodyguard.

what Peanut's wish is remains at the moment still a little secret

Chapter 3 is in work

_________________I'm a happy playfull kitty in a party of my soul but form time to time a evil wolf that's my soul and i love it and I would want to change it never

Thu Jan 19, 2012 9:33 am

copper

Puppy Wrangler

Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pmPosts: 6362Location: Florida

Re: Hard Shell Soft Core

Aww! Adorable update, and why can't people draw Peanut on all fours? That would be adorable...

_________________My charactersEverybody has a story to tell. What's yours?

This time it is a little shorter and it took longer because I have this part 3 times rewritten. (with grammar have I really my best tries )

but finally is her the next part

Chapter 3

00:30 Babylon’s Garden Hospital

Max was asleep on the bench Amy had himself set to the two had no word with each other talked but they were from the same reason here.

Max woke up to where was he? That was not his house that was clear then he saw beside him Amy and remembered on last night shortly after 0:55 the operation was finished, and the two young cats were brought in her room so that she could take a rest.

"Hey Jack there, how are them at the moment?" He leaned on the wall and put a cigarette on.

"Not particularly good we hope that it will change soon and I'm sorry that I just a bit over reacted have Max."

“I don't know why you have done but thank Jack. I promise you we find the people who that done have”

“I hope it don't worry we will take care here well about the small if you want you can shortly afterwards with the two speeches you can sleep go I stay here.” Max hugged Jack short.

02:41 ahead Daisy’s House

Joey had Daisy brought home the two had kept the whole way knack.

"Joey is it bad I besides the Squeak yet a couple of friends invited had? I thinking just to such an evening is nobody gladly alone." asked Daisy

"Don't worry I know your little habits and the evening was great but from the romantic candlelight dinner were yes unfortunately nothing but that is ok. We repeat that only we both alone and undisturbed ok?"

Joey sighed "I am sorry but I've no Christmas present for you Daisy I've simply not the right found. I'm a bad boyfriend for you are you now sour?"

She saw him disappointed to "Yes, I am a little angry about you... but only because you me no flowers brought have. But I've a Christmas present for you please close your eyes Joey"he closed his eyes expectant Daisy bent over to him and whispers him into his ear.

"You must me nothing bestow Joey. For me is the most beautiful gift that is that we both together are I love you Joey." with these words she gave Joey a long kiss on the mouth he open reflexively the eyes "That was my Christmas present for you Joey my first kiss."

Joey stood motionless there he had really all expected a resounding slap or something but not that. "Sleep well Joey" said Daisy as she went into her house.

Joey was still in trance and made slow on the way home even though he in this moment not really knew where he was.

Daisy came on silent paws purely she wanted her mom does not disturb because she already for hours at home should be.

"Hey Daisy and how was your date with Joey? “ Daisy mom came from the living room she had the whole time on your little girl waiting "Oh hi mom I thinking you're in your bed at this time."

Daisy's mom leaned on the wall "I wanted to see when and whether my little girl today at all comes home on this special night" Daisy were been totally red "Oh mom say not ones embarrassing things."

Daisy's mom patted her head slightly "You know I make only joking dear but tomorrow morning I will hear every little detail of your date ok?“ Daisy nodded and ran joy radiant in her room she was perfectly happy.

09:00 an old mansion somewhere in the country

"Miss Stone wants she that not again consider? She know not exactly if she your daughter is"

Norman the butler talked already four hours with her but she simply didn't want to hear it was in the past few years many such incidents at every was she so sure but again and again and this disappointment.Norman was not only your butler he was for Isabella a good friend but in the last time it was with her always worse she increased in the madness their little daughter soon to find it again and for that goal would she all do.

“Shut up Norman you have no right to judge over me! I search my beloved girls now so long why had she this done? I only wanted the best for her and she taking me my girl away but finally have I found she and now will us nothing more separate.”

Isabella heard a few steps behind herself "Oh you are that I've good news for you..."

Norman was ahead the villa and telephoned with his cell phone "Hi I am it, we must talking it's important she have Sunny found. Yes she is it I've she with my own eyes seen"

“Can we trust him?" asked a person with a slight Italian accent.

"No but it is better we have him in eye so can he not us disturb. We need anyway some time till we can start with our plan”

Isabel took her glass with red wine and stared at still a while out from your window.

hints:(1) Mrs Stone name is Isabella Stone(2) Joey is Daisy's first real boyfriend a young happy couple both are a little crazy the perfect match.

_________________I'm a happy playfull kitty in a party of my soul but form time to time a evil wolf that's my soul and i love it and I would want to change it never

okay, a few thoughts.first, you weren't lying when you said you aren't great with English. It gets a bit hard to read at some points. just try your best to improve on that (which I'm sure you're already doing.

second, I don't know if it's because of the bad English, but it seems to be rushing a bit. You could elaborate on some things. maybe actually show Joey and Daisy's date.

_________________I'm a shape-shifter. I'm currently in whatever form I feel likeParadigm Shift by meI do not actually believe any of what I'm saying.RP character sheets

Wed Feb 01, 2012 5:02 am

copper

Puppy Wrangler

Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pmPosts: 6362Location: Florida

Re: Hard Shell Soft Core

Again, a good story. The grammar and spelling do need work... maybe you should consider getting a beta reader? If you find a good one, it can even help you improve your English skills faster.

Daisy and Joey... that is quite the match indeed!

_________________My charactersEverybody has a story to tell. What's yours?

So since I am again I have long considered whether I to continue to write or not. I will the story finish write and then see

ok two things first: I had no real good idea's for the raccoons and the shepherd.The Shepherd is cerberus avatar.

I've the waitress the name Nicole given. I think he fits in well with her.point two : At cerberus have I thought that each head his own voice and mind has, therefore the 3 different colors.red for the middel head,blue for the right and yellow for the left head

Joey and Daisy’s Date

24.December

21:40 In front of Daisy’s House

Joey was excited, he had the whole evening planned out, what he should say. It was his first real date with Daisy.

He reviewed it all again: flowers were on the table at Heathcliffs to surprise daisy with, his fur cleaned properly, everything super clean. His heart raced quickly, but simply going to the door was not possible, his knees shaking too strong.

"Now come on! We don't have enough time, Joey and Spo awaits us impatiently for sure," said Squeak, she had made herself cozy on Joey's head.

Daisy looked briefly at the window, the phone in the hand fell out as she saw Joey by the door.

"Oh there you are, yes, finally. Wait I'm coming," the window closed and the main door opened slowly.

Daisy's mom greeted Joey friendly as she looked at him from top to bottom critically. She always did at boys that went out with her little girl, she was always particularly critical.

"Sit down Joey, Daisy will certainly be ready soon you can wait here with your nice mouse friend." Squeak jumped down onto the couch. "Wow it is the first time that I have been so nicely welcomed, many thanks.""Well Daisy's friends are a little strange. Raccoons, and wolves so a little mouse is a nice alternation."

"Joey are you here?" Daisy asked. “Yes I’m in the living room,” Joey went to the stairs.

Daisy stood at the top of the staircase, she had spruced herself up. Her black fur shone and on her collar were small purple colored stones.

Joey stood at the bottom of the stairs he could not let his eyes leave from her. Daisy was just beautiful to look at.

She went down a few steps but stumbled on her own feet and fell down the stairs, a shocking moment for all but Joey. Who had captured the big Labrador in his arms from the little dog.

“You can slow down again, Joey or did you still want her so long?" joked Squeak.Joey let Daisy down, they were both slightly red. "Thank you for that, thou caught me, Joey" Daisy said.

"Here Daisy this is for you I hope you like it," Joey went to Daisy and stuck a small flower behind her ear.

Daisy went to the mirror on the corridor "Wow Joey that's so sweet of you, Thank you very much. Mom can we go now?"

"Yes have fun you three but please be at home before 12:00 am ok?" Daisy heard only with an ear. She was with her thoughts completely somewhere else "Yes, it's good mom."

Joey put Squeak on his head again, and the three went out. While Daisy's mother observed the little group from the window and smiled.

22:12 Heathcliffs Restaurant

The three went to the Heathcliffs restaurant, "Wow Joey here? I have never been here isn't it actually a cats restaurant?" Daisy asked surprised. "Yes it is but I have been here from time to time and she knows me." He went to the waitress.

"Hi Joey good to see you again and who is that cute girl at your side?" asked the Waitress “This is my Date for this evening, is our table and everything ready Nicole?"

Nicole looked at him with astonishment as if he made a joke "Your date Joey? Did you know, Squeak, that he has a date with another girl?"

"Yes I know this and its ok. I have a date myself today," Squeak called to Nicole.

"Well then I’ll bring you to your table, but there was a little problem" Joey looked inquiringly to her but they followed the striped cat to a big table that had two raccoons and a female Shepherd sitting at.

“Inform us the next time please, when you bring with so many friends in advance ok? We don't have so much space here every time.” Nicole went back, a few more guests waited for her already.

Joey stood stunned at the table while Daisy ran to the raccoons and the female Shepherd and hugged them."Um Daisy who are they?" asked Joey. "These are my friends, I invited them, I hope that was ok for you” said Daisy happily.

"Well actually I thought we could spend the evening together and undisturbed." said Joey slightly disappointed. "We will disturb you?" asked one of the raccoons "No, it is such a beautiful evening let us enjoy together" said Daisy.

Joey stands a little away of the group "Hey Joey right? What’s wrong with you? Come to the party or would you like to spend the whole time alone?" asked the other raccoon. "Let me be in calm, is that clear?" said Joey slightly bugged.

The female Shepherd saw that Joey was alone and went to him "Hey come on what's up?" Joey sighed "It should only be a romantic candlelight dinner for us both.”

“That was your great plan for tonight? So daisy is a little naive but that's the point why everybody likes her. She has invited us because she knew that everyone on this special day should not be alone. She has it only well-intentioned Joey.”

Joey looked at Daisy and back to the shepherd, "I'm such a dummy." She poked him in the shoulder, "don't worry about something like this, and we are actually only here to be sure that no one does a stupid prank on Daisy. If you make Daisy sad then I'll kick your *** understand?”

Joey swallowed "I will not do any such thing, I promise. Have you seen the bouquet somewhere? It was for Daisy, I had it been placed on the table." She shook her head "no, when we arrived there was nothing here. I don't know where it is."

****At the same time at the other end of Heathcliff under one of the table****

"The evening was really great and thank you for the beautiful flowers Spo. By the way where did you find the flowers?" Squeak asked. "Is that so important? Let's go on a little walk the evening is so beautiful" said Spo.

"You are right it's so nice today I hope Joey also has his fun with Daisy" The two mice went on their walk, she did not want to disturb the young couple.*********

Joey went to Nicole "Hey are the two cats that play the music here tonight?" Nicole considered for a moment " do mean you Fiddler and Keys? I am sorry but they are not here tonight. Why do you ask Joey?" he nodded. "I wanted a little song but thats not so important."

“I am sorry Joey but I can't help you there.” He looked a little disappointed at the ground "It's ok I'll go back to the others then."

Daisy stood alone on the table the others were far and wide not to see. "Hey Joey I've just spoken with my friend a bit talked and she has told me everything. I am sorry that it's not the evening that you desired but you had a word saying."

The two went to the fence "If I had said something then there wouldn't be a surprise for you no? But it was more of a surprise for me."

The raccoons had already gone they went to the garbage bins plundering. Only Cerberus stood a bit of away from Joey and Daisy and looked at the two lovebirds.

"Think he is the right for Daisy?" "That she must decide for yourself but a date had we already a long time not more.""I found the police dog and the gray bulldog were very sweet but he is so small and strange with his mouse friend ""Yes, but I think the two fit best together, and besides are the other two married?"“Yes but why are all the cuties married with spirits?”“Good question but that's not our problem. We are here to protect daisy and nothing more. But I think we can leave the two alone at least this night.“ She left on silent paws from the restaurant.

Joey and Daisy stood cozy on the fence and watched the beautiful night sky, but they were not the only ones.

"Daisy, is it not about time that you go home? Otherwise your mom will for sure be sick with worry," asked Joey worried. "Do you really want this beautiful evening to end so quickly?"

Daisy saw Joey directly in the eyes from the nearby was she still beautiful then he thought had “No of course not but... " Daisy put a finger on Joey lips and cuddled up a little more in his arm. "Don't worry my mom will quite certainly understand and if not it was more than worth it."

so and I think that was the complete Date from the lovebirds

That would actually in the chapter 2 but i had no desire everything to rewrite

_________________I'm a happy playfull kitty in a party of my soul but form time to time a evil wolf that's my soul and i love it and I would want to change it never

Tue Feb 28, 2012 7:12 am

copper

Puppy Wrangler

Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pmPosts: 6362Location: Florida

Re: Hard Shell Soft Core

Well, it was an interesting chapter to say the least. A bit rushed, many grammatical errors, but readable. The last bit was a cute scene~

Spo stole the flowers. Little opportunist right there!

One little note. I believe Joey would know Fiddler and Keys by name. He goes to the Yarn Ball every Year and they play at it every year. He has probably even talked to them every now and then...

_________________My charactersEverybody has a story to tell. What's yours?

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