Jo Ashline's son, who has autism and epilepsy. JO ASHLINE, FOR THE REGISTER

I’m thankful for the perspective Andrew has given me on life, always reminding me what’s truly important. He sees the world in such a unique way, often finding joy in places most of us would overlook, focusing on the small miracles unraveling daily around him, instead of holding his breath, waiting for something “better” to happen or come along. Thanks to him, I’m noticing these daily miracles now too.

I’m thankful for the challenges I continue to face as a parent of a special needs child. I’ve learned so much about myself as a mother, a wife, and a human being with each difficulty and hurdle that I’ve faced with Andrew. I have more chutzpah than I ever imagined, more resilience than I ever thought possible, and an unwavering commitment to give my son the kind of life I know he can and deserves to have. Every uphill battle that has tested me has also strengthened me, preparing me for the next challenge that lies ahead.

I’m thankful for the amazing village that has surrounded our son and our family, a village that continues to grow in numbers, a village that holds Andrew in their collective thoughts, prayers, and light. Andrew has brought so many people together, people from all walks of life, because he is a magnet for love and support. So blessed are we.

I’m thankful for the priceless opportunity to learn that non-verbal communication is just as important, just as valuable, just as profound and often more beautiful than verbal communication. As a writer and lover of words, having a child who cannot use language in the same way I do has been a mixture of heartbreak, hope, and healing. Andrew has taught me that everyone has something to say, no matter what method of communication they use, and that everyone deserves to be heard and understood. I pay so much more attention now to the way the world “speaks” to me, whether it’s through touch, taste, smell, sight, or sound. Andrew uses a different frequency entirely to communicate with me and others around him, and thanks to him, I’m more in tune with that frequency than ever before, and it’s opened up so much beauty and meaning in my life.

I’m thankful for the relationship between my special needs son and his younger brother, Ian. They’re only eighteen months apart, yet their individual realities could have very well wedged an immeasurable distance between them. Instead, Ian has become Andrew’s “big brother” and I’ve watched as Ian’s heart has grown to epic proportions, his love and respect for Andrew palpable. It’s not always easy for Ian and he’s had to exhibit a tremendous amount of patience and understanding through the years, yet instead of feeling anger and resentment, Ian feels a sense of responsibility for his brother, and it’s translated to other people in his life, including other individuals with special needs. Having a special needs brother has provided Ian with a lot of life lessons. Watching him put those lessons to good use in his community and with his friends and family makes me so proud.

I’m thankful for having the opportunity to find out who my true friends were. Andrew made it easy to filter out folks from our lives who showed their true colors after he was diagnosed with autism. Instead of wasting time trying to get them to accept our son for who he was, we chose instead to focus on those individuals who already knew what an amazing gift Andrew has been and continues to be.

I’m thankful for IEPs. Have I said that already? Sorry. I figure if I say it enough I may actually convince myself that it’s true.

I’m thankful that at 10 years-old, my special needs son is finally potty-trained. I’m thankful that after years of trying, he can eat with a spoon. I’m thankful he made his very first friend at school. In other words, I’m thankful that Andrew has taught me the true meaning of gratitude and that there is no such thing as a small or insignificant milestone in the eyes of a special needs parent.

I’m thankful that I was chosen by God to be Andrew’s mom, that my son was entrusted in my care, that I was giving this life-changing opportunity to raise someone so pure, so innocent, so full of love and life. Through Andrew I am learning about faith in a way that transcends religion. Through Andrew I am learning what it means to be a human being; flawed, frail, forgiving. Through Andrew I am learning just how precious and meaningful life is.

Because of Andrew, my heart is fuller, my smile is wider, my eyes see more clearly, my soul feels more deeply.

When I am with Andrew, I am at the epicenter of the meaning of life, and for that, I am forever thankful.

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This Modified Life is a column by Jo Ashline for and about the families in Orange County living with special needs. Jo is a married mother of two who writes regularly for OC Moms, the Orange County Register's parenting section.

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