Also, the night before, just to make sure you’re both on the same wavelength, Timmy will be expecting you to sleep over. In the same bed.

Huh?

Sometimes Tavarez shows up to join you guys, but only if they’re expecting to give him some work the next day. He’s mostly harmless, though, unless he brings his Foghat records and a vial of choloform. That means he’s ready to party. And you probably wouldn’t want to experience any of that.

I see.

Or at the very least remember any of it.

Look, no matter what you say or how much you try to freak me out, I’m the backup catcher for the Boston Red Sox, Doug. It’s my job. Let it go.

Bite your tongue, junior. Nothing’s cast in stone in this town. One slip up, one passed ball too many that lead to some Yankee runs, and they’ll be calling for me in the stands, on the radio, in the supermarket and in the casinos.

Right.

Think you can snap your fingers and make people forget the name Mirabelli? Not gonna happen, pally. Just when you think you’ve got the world on a string, they’ll be sending a police escort to pick me up at Pizzaria Uno on Boylston. And let me assure you, f@#knuts: I’ll be drunk. And I’ll be ready.

Anything thing else you wanna say before I hang up?

Er, actually, yes. Could I interest you in a line of home equity, starting at the highly competitive rate of 2.5 percent?

What?

I’m calling from Wachovia Bank, and our records show that you’re pre-qualified for a fifty-thousand dollar line of home equity. Any interest?

::hangs up::

F@#k. This post-Wakefield career is going to be tougher than I’d thought.