Headlies: Jinder Mahal’s Veins Set To Become 2017’s Breakout Star

Chicago, IL – After last night’s championship match between Randy Orton and Jinder Mahal at Backlash, WWE officials believe that Mahal’s bulging veins are fast on their way to becoming the biggest star in a company.

At a closed-door meeting before Monday Night Raw, Vince McMahon and other top WWE officials gathered to talk about how best to push their new favorite.

“My god!” exclaimed McMahon. “Did you see Jinder’s veins last night? They were practically popping out of his skin! It was amazing!”

“The crowd really did take notice,” said Triple H with a hint of jealousy in his voice.

“I made sure to zoom in real close, just like you said, Vince!” exclaimed WWE television producer Kevin Dunn. “It was super duper yucky!”

“It’s pretty clear that we’ve got a huge star on our hands,” said McMahon with a gleam of excitement in his eyes. “The crowd was going nuts for those throbbing blood vessels. I see green pumping through those veins. I think the best course of action is to quickly separate the veins from Jinder at the next pay-per-view so that we can start a program between the veins and Orton as soon as possible. What do you say?”