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Old people must stop telling people how old they are, says government

Old people must stop telling people how old they are if new legislation on the retirement age is to reach the statute book, a government spokesman has said.

The government is proposing to next year outlaw the present compulsory retirement age of sixty-five.

‘If old people want to see this change in the law, then they have to stop telling uninterested members of the public how old they are. The refrain, ‘I’m eighty-eight, you know,’ has to stop because it’s getting on everyone’s nerves,’ the spokesman said. ‘Nobody gives a monkey’s.’