What do you do when you want to have a tantrum?

01-12-2009, 12:07 AM

On TheAttachedFamily.com, there is an article, "Managing Anger: What to Do When You Want to Have a Tantrum," under the Healing Childhood Wounds section.

When I first joined AP, several years ago, I naively thought that "good" AP parents didn't get angry. I've since learned that anger is a natural human emotion, and it's not that parents get angry but how they handle and resolve that anger. I especially like the reconnection tools I've learned through Pam Leo's book Connection Parenting, but I'm continually looking for ways to head off angry outbursts in my home. A huge one for me is being sure to keep myself balanced, especially healthy and well-rested.

But, if I get to a point where I want to have my own tantrum, I've learned that it's OK to stop what I'm doing and take a couple moments to decide what to do next. Learning to stop when the angry emotions come out took some time; it was different than what I was used to growing up, but it's empowering. Still, there are times when my toddler looks at me and smiles as I'm telling her that it hurts her baby sister when she plays rough. That smile makes my brain think, "She's mocking me! She's not taking this seriously!" and that makes me mad. So far, I've tried to let those smiles roll off my back as I explain again why we need to be careful of the baby.