What To Do With A Broken Collarbone?

I’ve been stuck in a sling for the last 3 weeks with a broken collarbone, which I broke when I crashed my bike on Highway 1 towards the tail end of my major bike ride. It’s a bit of a bummer, obviously. I’ve been stuck without much physical activity, which is tough for a guy like me. I’ve taken to walking. Yes, walking. I feel three times older than I actually am. I listen to a book-on-tape and walk for about two hours, several times a week. On the off days, I go to a nearby gym to do the stationary bike for a little bit…just so I’m doing something.

The thing that is starting to bug me the most is the sling. Yes, it sucks that I have my arm strapped to my torso all of the time. But more than that, it’s boring. It’s a black sling. And contrary to popular belief, black does not go with everything. Look at how boring this is.

In addition to looking boring, I am just kind of bored. So I decided to photoshop a variety of stupid things onto the sling to make it a little more interesting. For starters, you have the San Francisco option: peace, love, and happiness.

Nice, huh? Espousing harmonious, liberal virtues, using my sling as a space for political ideas. But just to be balanced and fair and a part of the No-Spin Zone, I included a slightly different political alignment as another option.

I quickly realized that I could do more than just use the space of my sling for political purposes. There is serious potential commercial gain here. I could easily be a walking advertisement. My sling, the billboard. So to prime the pump, I created this one.

Enticing, isn’t it. My mind then wandered to the slightly more ridiculous, along the vein of the t-shirts you’d see sold at “Hot Topic,” shirts that say stuff like “Stop Reading My Shirt” or “Does Not Play Well With Others.” In that style, here’s what I got. I hope you all enjoy the Seinfeld reference.

And lastly, a more contemporary cultural reference. The Double Rainbow.

So to address the title of the post….what to do with a broken collarbone? I guess something stupid like this, and then showcase the depths of your boredom by posting it on the internet. If anyone has any better ideas and is equally bored, feel free to use the blank template and email me what you create. I’m mostly looking your way, Cryptomail.