Premiership goal makes history by having no emotional or statistical relevance.

A goal scored mid way through the second half of a Premiership football match at the weekend is thought to have made history by not having anything controversial about it whatsoever.

The match, a 1-0 home victory, was a modest affair between two middle of the table sides and has failed to make any significant impact on the likely outcome of the Premiership. The players of each team shook hands before and after the match. The jobs of the opposing, rather un-flamboyant, club managers are not thought to be under any pressure, and the referee and his assistants had uncontroversial games. There was no crowd trouble as both sets of fans agreed that the goal was deserved and it was a pleasure to be in the open air on such a pleasant winter afternoon.

After the game, the goal’s scorer, refused to dedicate the goal to anyone, “It was just a goal’ he said ‘I’m quite pleased with it, but it was just a goal.’ Despite close questioning, he maintained that his marriage was sound, his parents well, indeed all of his family were well, and had avoided tragedy and pestilence for many years. It emerged that none of the players, club officials or support staff had any problems or issues, although the away team’s reserve team coach driver admitted to receiving a warning from a traffic warden at the age of eighteen for missing a no stopping sign.

Statisticians wrestled with the permutations of the result for hours over the weekend but the only statistic that they were able to offer was that the number of goals scored by the victors was ‘two more than a prime number’ which was felt to be of too limited value for the tabloids..

It is understood that the Football Association, shamed by the non newsworthy game, were considering declaring the game void and ordering a rematch. However, the ensuing highly controversial rumour appears to have made the need for any replay unnecessary.