The 'Cool Story, Dovahkiin' Thread

So, I'm playing Skyrim, and I finish my initiation into the Dark Brotherhood. I walk outside the Abandoned Shack by the pondside to find that it is night. I then check my map for the location of the Sanctuary and fast travel to the location nearest it.

The game tells me 'You can't fast travel with enemies nearby', and I think to myself 'Well, that's odd, I didn't see anything hostile on my compass. It's probably just a mudcrab or something, I AM by a pond'. So I exit the map, draw my sword and wade into the shallows.

So, I'm playing Skyrim, and I embark on my first major contract for the Dark Brotherhood after doing several small, inconsequential ones. I have been told to go and kill a dude who is inconveniently placed at the end of a dungeon on top of a mountain.

So I'm all 'Wow, that's kind of inconvenient, I guess I'll just fast travel to the location nearest it,' and hop over to a campsite that I had cleared of bandits earlier. I take three steps out of the campsite and immediately get jumped by a Saber Cat. This is a situation that I have been in before, and has almost never ended well in my favor, what with me being a squishy assassin.

By some miracle, I manage to survive the fight with the angry kitty and continue making my way up the mountain. About halfway up, I notice some pillars sticking out of the ground in the distance, so I decide to check it out. Turns out it's a Nord ruin on the surface complete with a Dragon Wall and a cool dragon statue. So I check out the wall and learn not one, not two, but THREE words of power.

So I'm feeling pretty good by now, and as I'm about to continue making my way up the mountain, I get this weird feeling that something's off, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

Then two things happened. One, I realized that the statue of the dragon wasn't there anymore, and two, the dragon that I had assumed was a statue, but was actually perching, plummeted out of the sky and landed on top of me.

Cue epic fight scene wherein I somehow manage to defeat the dragon by repeatedly knifing it in the face. I then absorb it's soul, feel all epic, and continue my ascent of the mountain, right?

Wrong; at least about the last part. Not two seconds after I kill the dragon and I'm about to head up the mountain, a goddamned Dragon Priest spawns and starts floating around, yelling angry exploding fireballs at me. By now, I have next to no health and all of my healing items have been spent, so I just decide to quickly duck behind the nearest pillar and attempt to magic my wounds closed so I don't die horribly.

I then pop out from my cover, swinging like a maniac, doing my best to sidestep the fireballs that do enough damage to kill me in about 2-3 hits. I very quickly realize that these Dragon Priest asshats are ghosts and are not affected by any non-enchanted weaponry other than Silver or Daedric. At this point, I don't actually have any Silver, Daedric, or enchanted weapons, so I'm more than a little stumped as to my options.

I eventually end up playing footsies with the damn thing around a giant stone pillar, popping out occasionally to hit him with the Novice-rank flamethrower spell that you start the game with or my 'Fire' Thu'um. This goes on for about 10 or so minutes before I manage to kick his spectral ass back to the afterlife. I then get some additional loot from his corpse (which included his mask and a hefty amount of gold) and I continue on my way, blissfully uninterrupted.

This experience has taught me a few things:
1) Always carry a Silver or Daedric weapon with you.
2) Always carry more Health potions than you think you will need.
3) If you do missions for the Dark Brotherhood, dragons will happen to you.

Comments

Okay, so I'm in Winterhold talking to the guy that will ride you to any major city. I told him where I wanted to go, and he told me to get in the back when suddenly I hear the familiar sound of a dragon nearby. I tell him that I'll be right back, and quickly locate the dragon. I'm quite used to slaying these things now, so the battle is over fairly quickly. I absorb the power and feeling all high and mighty I start my stroll back to the "taxi". I'm quite low on health at this point, but I figure time heals all wounds, and there are no more hostiles around. Just as I'm about to climb onto the cart, this goat comes charging out of nowhere, and plants it's horns in my butt. I'm dangerously close to death, and start sprinting away from the obviously crazed goat. I eventually lose the goat, and jogs back to the cart. I imagine the look the driver must have had on his face when I kill a dragon with a few well placed chops of my axe, but is bested by an ordinary goat..

I returned battered, beaten, and harried from my first venture out from Riverwood. I was sore, bruised, and desperately in need of unloading some loot and sleeping.

It was night when I arrived. Wolves howled in the distance but the tranquil visage of Riverwood was a welcome sight to my sore eyes.

I staggered into town. I walked through the door to the Inn, eager to rest.

That's when the hired thugs descended upon me. Within seconds, three hulking men had impaled me on their swords, a sad ending to a grand adventure.

...

So when I reloaded, I had no idea what the hell had happened. I went through the door to the inn again, and immediately the thugs attacked me. I ran outside, and they followed. They killed me again.

I kept trying until I finally was able to kite the bastards, and was able to kill them with a Fireball scroll I had been saving for a big moment. This, apparently, was my big moment. When I finally looted their corpses, I saw a CONTRACT with MY NAME ON IT.

It was signed by HILDE, Sven's nice old mother! WHAT THE HELL? WHY would this sweet old lady put a HIT out on me?

Apparently, I stole from her. Seriously, I did not remember stealing anything from her, but there it was in black and white.

The next day when I confronted her about it, she acted completely ignorant! Told me to go see her son sing at the tavern! What a grumpy old bitch!

One day I was wandering around town. As I wander through the bushes to the outskirts of town, some random townsbro decided that I am an affront to everything he stands for. Next thing I know, every single NPC in the town has erupted from their house to beat my ass.

One day I was wandering around town. As I wander through the bushes to the outskirts of town, some random townsbro decided that I am an affront to everything he stands for. Next thing I know, every single NPC in the town has erupted from their house to beat my ass.

I ain't done shit.

You sure you didn't punch a chicken? I know you're fond of choking them in real life.

I haven't hit much radiant story telling yet. It's mostly been deep into quest lines so I don't want to give away spoilers. I play during the day with a three year old on my lap so I'm a nice guy and I mostly kill dragons and craft and stuff.
When he goes to sleep, though? THERE WILL BE BLOOD!

I was going along, making my way through this forest. I passed a rift guards camp on the way, said hi, kept walking. Then after a few minutes of walking I came across a bear fresh over its kill. It saw me and started roaring at me. I began backing off but then this stupid fugitive runs over and hands me a helmet, the idiot doesn't even notic the enraged bear 10 feet away.

As I rapidly spam tab in the hopes that the fugitive will stop talking to me I hear the bear begin charging. I am still not sure whether I actually managed to exit the conversation but as my camera was zooming out from the fugitives face the bear mauls him. Sending his body nearly 20 feet through the air. I don't know about you but I didn't want to mess with a bear that just instant killed a guy. Luckly for me two hunters came out of the woods and attacked the bear with their swords. I begin running as fast as my iron armoured feet could carry me. As I run the body of one of the hunters come flying past my screen.

Now as you might expect I am booking it. Breaking out the Whirlwind shout I sprint away. Somehow in the time it took for the shout to recharge the bear has covered the distance and caught up with me. Hitting me and taking off 140 out of my 150 health. I chug some potions and shout off again. Every time it catches up to me it nearly catches me. Just as I run out of potions a luckly break happens for me. Another hunter steps out of the brush and tries to engage the bear. He dies only a few moments later but buys me some time.

In that time I managed to hope a short rock and end up in the camp of the rift guards I passed earlier. The twenty or so guards rush out to fight the bear. The monster mauling one of the archers before he could draw his weapon. Then as the swordsmen gathered around it he killed another five more. Each swipe killing a man. Then the archers open up on it, riddling it with arrows. It finally dies after killing another two guards and having 88 arrows sticking out of it.

So, I'm playing Skyrim, and I'm told that the dragons aren't just coming back, they're coming back to life. I, of course am all like 'Well, that seems unlikely, but I suppose stranger things have happened, so I guess I'll go along with it'.

So I head down to Kyngrove and witness Alduin, the World Eater bring the mighty dragon Sahlaknir back from the dead. At which point I go 'Well, isn't that something', jump on his head, stab him repeatedly in the face with my dagger and take his soul.

That dragon battle clocked in at 10 seconds if you count the finishing move animation, 0.25 seconds if you don't.

I wish I had the element of surprise in more dragon fights, it'd make my life a lot easier.

So in my typical style, I've already blown off the main quest (did so almost immediately upon having the freedom to do so). I've trekked far away, to the Western reaches of the map entirely on foot. Deal with it.

So in my travels I stumbled upon a small encampment of Forsworn. They attacked me, so I killed them. I then walked a little further and found this massive Forsworn base:

So I left it alone, because despite not knowing anything about the Forsworn, they were clear enemies.

Walked for a few more hours, ended up at the city of Markarth.

Long story short, I got tangled up into a quest about Forsworn conspirators in the city. This quest led me to investigate a murder, accidentally gain the attention of the guards, find out a top level official was in cahoots, and get thrown into jail innocently.

While in jail you run into the king of the Forsworn. You learn a little about him and why he's done what he's done. Whatever. I killed the man, stole the key out of the jail, escaped with all my belongings, took control of the nicest house in Markarth, then walked away like it was no big deal.

Okay, so here I was minding my own buisness just wandering in the open wilderness, when I see a fight between a Dragon vs a Giant and a Mammoth, so I hid in som bushes in the distance and watched the sparks fly. well needless to say, the giant won and knocked that damn lizzard high up in the air like everything else they have killed, but strangely enough it didn't come back down which I thought was wierd. After appropriately acknowledging thier glorious victory with my axe between thier thighs, I made my way back home in whiterun with loot from an previous engagement.
after getting some sleep and telling my good for nothing wife to give me her money and make me some damn breakfast I took a step outside so see the carcass of that previous dragon fall on my head. I had no Idea what happend but the thing still had its flesh, he had nothing on him, and I couldn't gain a soul from it. then people started praising me for some reason!?
First thing I thought about was
"how am I going to get this goddamn thing out of my goddam lawn", then I thought "wait, who would do this and why? and HOW!?"
"wait a minuite, maybe this jut a litte prank like when punks put a bucket of something over someones door, except instead of a bucket its a dragon"
"now that I think about it, isn't this like the Godfather when they put a horses head on someones bed while they are sleeping? except instead of a bed its my porch and instead of a horses head its a dragon?"
I just stood there just thinking about all the possible motives the culprit could of had, or how he could have done it. it.. it soon consumed my life, I was no longer exploring dungens or saving the world, all I cared about now was finding the bastard who did this...

Btw, this is my first post. Hi I'm PunnyFuzz pleased to be here and as you can tell by this post I- umm....

Do you have to do a main quest to initiate dragon attacks? I've only done two or three quests from the main plot before I peaced out to explore. I haven't seen a single dragon in the game yet with the exception of the intro.

It was the dead of night, as per my custom I was taking advantage of the dark to hunt the Elk and Deer native to the forests and plains around High Hrothgar.

These hunts had become a custom of mine, simply a way to make some quick gold, gather leather for crafting, and generally a way to escape actual conflict.

Well after my fifth kill I took note that it was quickly approaching daylight and just over the ridge was a nice little inn where I could rest my feet before having to make the trek back to White Run. Just as I was clearing the last hillock I saw it a massive grizzly bear and I simply couldn't resist I needed to have its pelt if I were to call the hunt successful...no if I were to think of calling myself a hunter.

Determined I set after the beast, coaxing it into a vulnerable position with guarded swings of my great sword, wounded it turned to run, seeing my opportunity I took it and finished the creatures life with one well aimed swing. Gathering its pelt I readied myself for the final stretch of the journey to the inn the sun only just poking its head above the nearby mountain range.

Tired, wounded, and in desperate need of a good Nordic Ale I set off my footsteps falling steadily on ground...until I heard that roar. I looked about sword drawn for potential foes until my well trained eyes turned themselves skyward. That's when I saw it, one of the dragon kind swooping down from the sky intent on seeing me dead.

With a mighty roar of my own I met its challenge and on the frozen earth we dueled, claw against blade, fury against skill. In the end, bloodied, broken, and slightly singed I stood victorious over the mighty beast letting my war cry ring out over the woods and the nearby town. Gathering what remained of the mighty beast I completed my trek to the inn with no further harassment.

I found it heading up to visit the shrine of whoeverthefuck from Whiterun. This monstrous Dwemer ruin promises glory and riches inside, but is filled top to bottom with Falmer. After fighting, Lydia at my side, through several rooms with them, I realized... they were blind. I told Lydia to stay right the fuck there and snuck through the remainder of the base, backstabbing happily as I went. I get to the end, stab a human in the back, take all of her very nice plate armor, and then crawled, overloaded, slowly back to Lydia.

I gotta say, once I realized Lydia could flat-out die, I suddenly got a lot less interested in taking her on quests.

That's kind of what I mean. Sure, she's all right in a fight, but she dies after like 3 swings (maybe more after the sweet Dwarven armor I made her), and generally I just leave her behind, go stabby stabby, and then get her back. I keep her more as a workhorse to carry valuable things than as a useful contributor.

I never take companions in these games. The only exception was in New Vegas, where the companions could not permanently die, and one of them was humorously voiced by Felicia Day.

-

Anyway: My 'cool story' from last play session:

I came upon some folks who were standing around a dead giant, bristling with weapons, and one of them was like "Why didn't you help us kill this giant, bro? You know they're bad news, right?"

and I was all like "Sure thing lady, but I think I was about five miles away, searching for things to steal in the attic of a lumber mill, when you killed that giant, and have no idea who you are, nor any way of knowing this fight was going on."

so, she was like, "well, even though you're a gigantic douche for not helping us kill this giant, you should still join our beat-things-with-swords organization."

Ah, you found the Companions outside of Whiterun. They do that to everybody. You actually, as far as I can tell, can't help them. By the time you get there, he's always dead - at least in my playthroughs so far.

Ah, you found the Companions outside of Whiterun. They do that to everybody. You actually, as far as I can tell, can't help them. By the time you get there, he's always dead - at least in my playthroughs so far.

you can kill the giant before they even attack him with a high enough sneak

she even told me I was badass and should join them

my story last night

so i've killed 5 dragons so far. haven't died once to them.

i was exploring a shrine on top of a mountain, and when i was done i started heading down the mountain path. ran in to a frost troll before i could get my sneak on. motherfucker took one arrow before he was in melee range, bitch slapped me twice, and i was dead.

no, you're not alone. I also prefer the adrenaline rush of just rushing into the face of danger with my battle axe & elemental fury combo and just beat the lard out of anything in your way (innocent or not!). plus decapitating people with you 2-handed weapon is much more satisfying than just stabing them in the back.
and knowing those stealthy guys, they are probably really squishy with their non-heavy armors, werewolf powers or not .

I know people have probably found everything there is to find in this game already, but I just found a special pickaxe at the top of the "throat of the world" that grants bonus smithing abilities and shock damage. happy hunting, I hope people found that useful.

I know people have probably found everything there is to find in this game already, but I just found a special pickaxe at the top of the "throat of the world" that grants bonus smithing abilities and shock damage. happy hunting, I hope people found that useful.

You're definately not alone. Real men/women look the enemy in the eye(s) before severing his/her/its head, or driving a sword through his/her/its body. Okay, so you might get injured, and even die. That's part of the game, and make for great tales of glory and valor. In the real life sporting world, there's an expression called "fair play". I like to play by that rule. It's only courteous to give your enemy a chance to defend him-/her-/itself and fight back. There is NO honor in stabbing someone/something in the back, effective as it may be.

My sneak was high enough that I was directly in front of someone, went for the stab, and magically got behind him and slashed his throat.

I felt like Rex.

Actually, now that I have the Shadow Warrior perk (you turn invisible for 1 second when you crouch mid-combat), I can do that pretty consistently. When used, it looks like you vanish in black smoke, then reappear behind him and slit his throat, which is pretty damn cool.