aidsnorthbay.com – AIDS Committee of North Bay & Area - To assist and support all persons infected or affected by HIV/AIDS and/or Hepatitis C and to limit the spread of the viruses through eduction, awareness and outreach strategies.

Communications Corner

Have you ever done something for someone and quite out of the blue received a thank-you note in the mail from them for your efforts?

It’s quite a special moment.

That person you assisted went out of their way to obtain or create a card, write a few personal lines of prose and pop it in the post to you. They thought of you and your assistance worthy of their investment in time, effort and expense. They felt an email just didn’t cut it.

Now we bang out a few lines on the keyboard, hit send and we’re done. It’s ubiquitous.

But if you want to leave a very positive, sincere and lasting impression, you really need to get a greeting card, a good pen and spend a bit of time composing some meaningful ink.

Research done by a friend of mine, Laural Carr, through her terrific firm, impagination inc., which specializes in award-winning, marketing communications products, found that 83% of clients surveyed, stated a physical, mailed greeting was their hands-down favourite. 79% often kept that greeting and 73% shared it with others.

That’s a lot of mileage out of a simple act of cardboard correspondence!

More importantly, you are establishing a connection that has more meaning and value in the long run and standing out from the herd at the same time.

Another year is coming to a close. Many are looking forward to bidding it a final farewell while expecting big things from 2016.

When we look back on our work year we fondly remember the highlights and cringe somewhat over some of the lowlights.

What was it for you?

The wonderful accolades and successes from a well-prepared and executed project?

Or the sleepless night following a presentation from hell?

In either case, communication or the lack thereof plays a major role.

Getting your message across, clarifying details, getting everyone on the same page are communications principles that everyone should have a strong handle on.

But unfortunately many are lacking in the basic understanding of what makes effective communications.

So, as a bit of a year end gift I’d like to pass along this communications primer produced by Dr. Travis Bradberry.

Dr. Bradberry is the award-winning co-author of the #1 bestselling book,Emotional Intelligence 2.0, and the cofounder of TalentSmart, the world’s leading provider of emotional intelligence tests and training, serving more than 75% of Fortune 500 companies. His bestselling books have been translated into 25 languages and are available in more than 150 countries. Dr. Bradberry has written for, or been covered by, Newsweek, BusinessWeek, Fortune, Forbes, Fast Company, Inc., USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, andThe Harvard Business Review.

I hope you enjoy it and glean a nugget or two of helpful information that you can put to use in your communications in the new year.

Have a very Merry Christmas and all the best for 2016!

Kirk out!

Why We Struggle to Communicate (and How to Fix It)

When it comes to communication, we all tend to think we’re pretty good at it. Truth is, even those of us who are good communicators aren’t nearly as good as we think we are. This overestimation of our ability to communicate is magnified when interacting with people we know well.

Researchers at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business put this theory to the test and what they discovered is startling. In the study, the researchers paired subjects with people they knew well and then again with people they’d never met. The researchers discovered that people who knew each other well understood each other no better than people who’d just met! Even worse, participants frequently overestimated their ability to communicate, and this was more pronounced with people they knew well.

“Our problem in communicating with friends is that we have an illusion of insight,” said study co-author Nicholas Epley. “Getting close to someone appears to create the illusion of understanding more than actual understanding.”

When communicating with people we know well, we make presumptions about what they understand—presumptions that we don’t dare make with strangers. This tendency to overestimate how well we communicate (and how well we’re understood) is so prevalent that psychologists even have a name for it: closeness-communication bias.

“The understanding, ‘What I know is different from what you know’ is essential for effective communication,” said study lead Kenneth Savitsky, “but that insight can be elusive. Some [people] may indeed be on the same wavelength, but maybe not as much as they think. You get rushed and preoccupied, and you stop taking the perspective of the other person.”

Taking Action

Communication is the real work of leadership; you simply can’t become a great leader until you are a great communicator. Great communicators inspire people. They create a connection that is real, emotional, and personal. And great communicators forge this connection through an understanding of people and an ability to speak directly to their needs in a manner that they are ready to hear.

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” -George Bernard Shaw

The eight strategies that follow will help you to overcome the communication bias that tends to hold us back with everyone we encounter, especially those we know well. Apply these strategies and watch your communication skills reach new heights.

Speak to groups as individuals. As a leader, you often have to speak to groups of people. Whether a small team meeting or a company-wide gathering, you need to develop a level of intimacy in your approach that makes each individual in the room feel as if you’re speaking directly to him or her. The trick is to eliminate the distraction of the crowd so that you can deliver your message just as you would if you were talking to a single person. You want to be emotionally genuine and exude the same feelings, energy, and attention you would one-on-one (as opposed to the anxiety that comes with being in front of people). The ability to pull this off is the hallmark of great leadership communication.

Talk so people will listen. Great communicators read their audience (groups and individuals) carefully to ensure they aren’t wasting their breath on a message that people aren’t ready to hear. Talking so people will listen means you adjust your message on the fly to stay with your audience (what they’re ready to hear and how they’re ready to hear it). Droning on to ensure you’ve said what you wanted to say does not have the same effect on people as engaging them in a meaningful dialogue in which there is an exchange of ideas. Resist the urge to drive your point home at all costs. When your talking leads to people asking good questions, you know you’re on the right track.

Listen so people will talk. One of the most disastrous temptations for a leader is to treat communication as a one-way street. When you communicate, you must give people ample opportunity to speak their minds. If you find that you’re often having the last word in conversations, then this is likely something you need to work on.

Listening isn’t just about hearing words; it’s also about listening to the tone, speed, and volume of the voice. What is being said? Anything not being said? What hidden messages below the surface exist? When someone is talking to you, stop everything else and listen fully until the other person has finished speaking. When you are on a phone call, don’t type an email. When you’re meeting with someone, close the door and sit near the person so you can focus and listen. Simple behaviors like these will help you stay in the present moment, pick up on the cues the other person sends, and make it clear that you will really hear what he or she is saying.

Connect emotionally. Maya Angelou said it best: “People will forget what you said and did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” As a leader, your communication is impotent if people don’t connect with it on an emotional level. This is hard for many leaders to pull off because they feel they need to project a certain persona. Let that go. To connect with your people emotionally, you need to be transparent. Be human. Show them what drives you, what you care about, what makes you get out of bed in the morning. Express these feelings openly, and you’ll forge an emotional connection with your people.

Read body language. Your authority makes it hard for people to say what’s really on their minds. No matter how good a relationship you have with your subordinates, you are kidding yourself if you think they are as open with you as they are with their peers. So, you must become adept at understanding unspoken messages. The greatest wealth of information lies in people’s body language. The body communicates nonstop and is an abundant source of information, so purposefully watch body language during meetings and casual conversation. Once you tune into body language, the messages will become loud and clear. Pay as much attention to what isn’t said as what is said, and you’ll uncover facts and opinions that people are unwilling to express directly.

Prepare your intent. A little preparation goes a long way toward saying what you wanted to say and having a conversation achieve its intended impact. Don’t prepare a speech; develop an understanding of what the focus of a conversation needs to be (in order for people to hear the message) and how you will accomplish this. Your communication will be more persuasive and on point when you prepare your intent ahead of time.

Skip the jargon. The business world is filled with jargon and metaphors that are harmless when people can relate to them. Problem is, most leaders overuse jargon and alienate their subordinates and customers with their “business speak.” Use it sparingly if you want to connect with your people. Otherwise, you’ll come across as insincere.

Practice active listening. Active listening is a simple technique that ensures people feel heard, an essential component of good communication. To practice active listening:

Spend more time listening than you do talking.

Do not answer questions with questions.

Avoid finishing other people’s sentences.

Focus more on the other person than you do on yourself.

Focus on what people are saying right now, not on what their interests are.

Reframe what the other person has said to make sure you understand him or her correctly (“So you’re telling me that this budget needs further consideration, right?”)

Think about what you’re going to say after someone has finished speaking, not while he or she is speaking.

Ask plenty of questions.

Never interrupt.

Don’t take notes.

Bringing It All Together

As you work to employ these strategies, try to avoid biting off more than you can chew. Working on one to three strategies at a time is sufficient. If you try to take on more than you can handle, you’re not going to see as much progress as you would if you narrowed your focus. Once you become effective in one particular strategy, you can take on another one in its place. Communication is a dynamic element of leadership that is intertwined in most of what you do each day. You’ll have ample opportunity to improve your abilities in this critical skill.

Are the days of the desktop computer numbered? Are we looking at another paradigm shift in communication hardware usage? Well, if recent statistics from Smart Insights are any barometer then we are definitely heading in that direction.

See if you can wrap your head around these figures. There are approximately 1.9 billion mobile products users worldwide and climbing. Desktop use is showing signs of plateauing and is holding steady at about 1.7 billion!

Smart Insights also says that the most popular devices used to search the internet are 1. PC or laptops and 2. smartphones. Their usage is at 91% and 80% respectively. The smartwatch, which just got out of the gate is checking in at just 9% usage.

The PewResearchCenter says smartphone use in 2015 is staggeringly high in the U.S. Almost two-thirds of Americans are smartphone owners and for about 19% of them it’s their main way of getting online. For the age group 18 to 29, the smartphone is practically their only access to the worldwide web. That demographic usually leads change in technology use as they are the most often the consumers that aren’t afraid of trying something new and spreading the word if they like it.

Take a look around you. Smartphones are everywhere and being used more and more to communicate, inform and educate. That means content creators have to ensure that what looks good on a PC also presents itself well on the smartphone and tablet.

Will we see the day that content providers will be creating for the smartwatch platform exclusively? I doubt it.

If it isn’t on the web it isn’t relevant. Hard to argue with the stats. PewResearchCenter (PRC) conducted a study in 2014, surveying 1,500 internet users 18 years and older on their frequency of social media use. It showed Facebook, although showing signs of slowing growth, still on top, followed by Linkedin, Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter.

PRC looked at the demographics of internet users as well and what social media platforms they frequented. Of all internet users, 71% used Facebook. The key demographic was adults between 18 – 29. They made up 87% of the Facebook users.

What does this all mean then?

It means multi-platform use is climbing. A lot of eyes are on computer screens for reference, information, communication, basic news and entertainment. Facebook is a provider of all that and so much more thanks to its users. They disseminate their interests community style by way of the post, share or like.

But what about the good old hard copy?

Newspapers are suffering a paradigm shift like no other. They were dragged kicking and streaming into the way of the web. Many would have preferred not to. At one time it was abhorrent to think of any media sharing real estate. Now they’re as assimilated as peanut butter and jam. TV, radio and print are all utilizing webspace and various blends of methodology. Who would’ve thought that a print outlet would one day carry video news? Or TV would refer to print? Social media is the great equalizer. Links to all three media are found online and news is being updated as it happens.

So what about the basic newsletter? It’s both new and old school. It comes in e-form or the delightful paper product. I’m still a fan of holding something tangible in my hands and flipping through the pages. I guess it harkens back to my single days when poring over the Saturday Toronto Star over breakfast was a self-indulgent luxury.

Our newsletter, ‘everythingACNBA’, is now into its second year. It contains little snippets of what we’ve done, what we’re doing and other engaging info. We print it off for our clients and supporters who may not have access to a computer. It can also be read or downloaded on our website.