There I was, standing in the end zone of Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis, the New England Patriots logo painted beneath my feet.

I looked up at the Super Bowl XLVI logo in the window over the end zone. In less than a week, the nation’s biggest sporting event would be taking place in this very spot.

It was an incredible and surreal feeling. As I stood there reflecting on how I got here, I decided this was the best moment of my life – after getting engaged to my beautiful fiancée, of course.

Tap, tap, tap.

I looked over my shoulder to see a man in a black mask, wearing a full superhero ensemble standing behind me. He extended his phone.

“Would you mind taking a picture?” he said.

My first experience at Super Bowl Media Day had begun.

I’ve heard stories, seen the highlights and listened to my colleagues’ warnings before heading in, but there’s nothing that can prepare you for staring down a lion other than actually staring down a lion.

The atmosphere took me by storm and I spent my day running. That’s not a good combination for a completely out-of-shape guy who needs to be able to speak and think clearly to perform his job.

And if the uninvited exercise isn’t bad enough, there’s something waiting to throw you for a loop at every turn.

As I made a 100-yard sprint from one end zone to the other after being informed Chad Ochocinco was breaking his silence, I had to clear a series of hurdles attempting to knock me off my task.

Wow, is that Rex Ryan’s favorite lady Inez Sainz chatting up Deion Sanders? I hope he isn’t making a heel of himself. Isn’t that the somewhat-funny fat guy from Howard Stern’s show over there? Is that Maria Menounos in a Tom Brady jersey asking Tom Brady how “we’re going to beat the Giants?”

When I caught up to Chad, he was being interviewed by Jacksonville Jaguars running back Maurice Jones-Drew, who was telling a story about how he bought the Ochocinco News Network for $3 and wanted the former CEO to participate in The Running of the Bulls during the offseason.

Nothing made sense. Even the questions took on a similar tone since most of the members of the endless media contingent had no interest in football.

There were questions like what tree a player would be if he were a tree, though there were no reports of women showing up in wedding dresses to propose to Brady this year, a heretofore obligatory event.

The craziest part is that 7,300 fans paid $25 for the opportunity to watch us ask dumb questions, which was something new to the Super Bowl experience. If you ask me, even when it’s just the football people, the questions are still too dumb to pay for.

But we did find out a few interesting things in the process.

We learned that Rob Gronkowski claims he can spell “Belichick,” though he refused to do so when put on the spot; that Steelers defensive end Brett Keisel thinks Wes Welker has a weak moustache and Welker thinks Keisel should shave off his beard and style his moustache like Baseball Hall of Fame pitcher Rollie Fingers; and that Menounos will have to wear a Giants bikini on TV if the Patriots lose.

If that final statement had a “Like” button, Gronkowski would have clicked it and added another “Like” in the comments, just for emphasis.