At the end of last week, I faced off with the enemy in such an overt way that I was stunned and did not come out of the battle feeling victorious. It took a lot of help from the Lord speaking through John and also speaking to me to remind me that he alone knows the outcome and that in our weaknesses God’s power becomes accentuated. But I still struggled with the thought that I did not respond as I always imagine I want to. I was weak, I lacked confidence, and I did not feel like I stood strong. And my heart hurt for the people involved. From my point of view, they did not see God’s strength and power, but mine. And mine was more like a frightened rabbit than a lioness. As I began my week, I didn’t realize that round two was about to hit me in such a way that I was almost down for the count. On Tuesday, I realized the encounter I had over the weekend wasn’t a human encounter but I was looking into the eyes of the enemy had manifested himself to me and all the rage and malice he has for me (and all humanity) was directed at me. I was in his sights and he was scoring vital hits. I shared that with a couple of people I am close to, including John, and thought that was the end of it. After sharing it, I began to be aware of a thing that was happening that I could not seem to gain control over. Every time I saw or heard a reference to Christianity or to Jesus my mind knee-jerked the most malicious, foul and horrible sneering I don’t ever remember coming into my brain. I don’t feel that way toward my faith, and I certainly didn’t want to own those thoughts. In my brain I kept asking the Lord to help me, thinking my prayers, but these evil thoughts kept coming. Finally along about 4:30, John called and I went to pick him up. While in the truck, and still fighting this battle, I cried out, “Lord, help me with this! I can’t deal with it!” John got in the truck and those terrible thoughts finally hushed. I didn’t think much more about what had happened throughout my day because John and I were together, enjoying each other’s company as we do when we’re together. In the morning on Wednesday, I knew I would be talking to the Lord and so put the battle out of my mind. Wednesday morning came and as I began to become aware of my thoughts I realized I was hearing the voice of my Lord gently calling me awake, “Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10) Almost everyone who has ever read the Bible knows that verse, but suddenly I realized the Lord was saying it to me in such a way that it wasn’t remembering what he said to Isaiah all those years ago and knowing it was for me too. It was the Lord telling me, as if he’d never told anyone else that before. Isaiah 41:10 ceased to become a Bible verse and became from that moment on a word to me, Coleen Frazer-Hambrick. And with that word, my God was also telling me that He is with me in my vision. It is His vision for me. And inadvertently the enemy’s attack drove me to a point where I could hear this awesome affirmation to me. I cried. I’m crying now. And the tears are the only way my gratitude to God can be expressed. There is such a joy in hearing the voice of God that the only way a human can express it is to cry. Such is the nature of my tears. And as if that encounter with my Lord was not enough, the Lord had something else in mind. When John got out of bed and we began our day, I told him what just happened. He was naturally concerned that there was something else bothering me because I couldn’t stop tearing up. I assured him it was this encounter with the Lord that had me so weepy. He’s a wonderful husband, and he loves me. After I took him to work, I saw a bright star in the east and wondered what it was. Okay, now I know this sounds familiar, and I have to laugh because it didn’t hit me until later the significance of following a star, but this is what happened. Low on the horizon was this bright celestial orb that I wanted to use my Google Sky Map app to discover what it was. I pulled into a nearby parking lot and pointed my phone at it. It turned out to be Jupiter. While I was looking at Jupiter, a good friend, one of John’s co-workers, pulled into the parking lot. It was cold, so I rolled down my window and offered to give him a ride to the office (which is about two blocks away). He got into our truck and we spent the next twenty to thirty minutes talking about the Lord. I ended up telling him what happened that morning as well as telling him about Ebenezer Productions. It was an awesome time with the Lord’s presence in the truck with us. I could feel the Holy Spirit with us and I felt confident, and relaxed, not at all what I felt during the first battle with the enemy that I experienced a few days earlier. In all of this, the Lord not only affirmed my vision but He also reminded me the Battle is the Lord’s. As I trust Him I know He will guide me. I pray that January 29 forever remains a day that marks a new level of trust in the Lord for me. Thank you Father, Lord Jesus, Holy Spirit for being so good to us.

Author

Coleen Frazer-Hambrick is a writer and photographer who lives in Oklahoma with her husband. They have raised three boys and now have four grandboys. Along with writing and photography, Coleen and her husband are active members of a Wesleyan church.