1966 Harley Davidson XLCH
-Rebel Machine, F*ck yea!
...not so much. Spent far more time working on it than actually riding it. When it did run it made a habit of trying to kill me with non-existent brakes, dodgy handling and randomly either oiling down it'd own rear tire or setting my pant leg on fire. Oh yea, starting it was a real treat too.

Yamaha Seca (forgot the year)
-This was a friends bike that I rode a few times. Seriously numb chassis, no feedback and hated to turn. Oh yea, the engine was gutless as well.

'09 Kawasaki EX500 Ninja. Just too uncomfortable, no matter what. Installed bar risers and a used Corbin seat. I bought this bike new for $4500 OTD. I had owned a new '88 model back in '88 and loved it. But a lot of time has passed since then, and I'm a lot older than I used to be, with medical issues on top of that. I put less than 5000 miles on it in over 2 years and finally gave up and sold it. Not blaming the bike, I wish Kawasaki still made them. They were IMO the best rational sportbike ever made. But I can't ride sportbikes any more, and now only ride cruisers. I have owned a total of 41 bikes, some were better than others, but the EX was the only one I had to give up because of all the pain riding it caused.

I wanted a Connie so bad when they came out (I was in university). They got great reviews and everyone loved them &#8211; they won all the comparison tests, including against the K100RS/RT. I swore when I graduated, I would buy one and I did, bought it new in 1992 but like the girl you always wanted in high school, the reality never lived up to the expectation. It was heavy and buzzy, didn&#8217;t handle very well and I just never loved it in spite of owning it for >10 years; it was reliable though &#8211; never did anything but scheduled maintenance. My old bike recently came up for sale on Kijiji, I was tempted to go and ride it for old time's sake but I just couldn't be bothered.

Early 2000's Buel X1: I test rode this beast at the MotoGP when manufacturers used to bring a fleet just for the fans to try out. While power wheelies in multiple gears was fun, it could only be done in a very narrow RPM range (about 3500-5000). Below that it had bad valve ping, above that the power curve was flat as a pancake. Pretty narrow usable range.

Mid-90's Kawasaki KLR650: I swapped bikes with a friend briefly while off-roading, and I could not believe how large and heavy the 650 felt compared to my Honda XL600R. He ended up crashing it later that day because the terrain was too rough for such a monster.

Ducati Hypermotard: I wanted one of these so bad I could taste it. As soon as I sat on the bike, I knew it didn't feel right. It felt like the handlebars were up against my knees, and I would surely go over the bars if I got on the brakes too hard. A week later I sat on an Aprilia Dorsoduro 750 at the San Mateo International Motorcycle Show. I had never heard of it until that day. As soon as my butt hit the seat, I wanted one so bad I could taste it...

Hypermotard. Just like everyone else said, you feel like you're sitting directly over the front tire. Loved the sound, loved the fact that it wheelied anytime you were more than half throttle. And it looked awesome.

R1200 GSA. Loved the way it looks. Loved how I fit on it (6'5"). But it was a bore compared to my MegaMoto.

Some of the offenders that I wanted to like: (to be fair most were new or close to it or in exceptional shape, and the tire pressures etc., were correct)

Cagiva 650 Alaruzza SS. I owned this for awhile, sort of a Mini VFR - wooden brakes, nice power band, but real slow to rev, a bit heavy and underpowered - surprise, very reliable and well put together. Bonus: Best sounds with the Bubb pipes.

Guzzi V50 Monza, loved the bike for its size, handling and light weight, super stable, but no torque, no real power, terrible way too wide gearing, which of course could not be changed.

'78 Honda CB750F. This was one of the Japanese bikes that were now supposed to handle. The flops over in corners kind of handling, required a lot of something to get it back up, what a chore. Felt piggish to me.

'99 or so Laverda 750 - their attempted comeback. Sweet handling, brakes, looks, but it was withering (in a bad way) when you realized the engine is just a larger 1970 Honda 350 that behaves, and sounds, just like one.

Kawasaki: EX500, mush all around, everything felt like mush. It was new too.

2008 Kawasaki EX250 - nicer than a EX500, but a chore to rev and ride, felt heavy. I like the 1994 - 2007 versions better.

1998 Honda VTR1000 - lovely engine. Twist and go, then get gas at 85 - 100 miles. Brakes pretty good, but another flopper in the corners, same heaviness to rightitself.

2008 Kawasaki KLR. I bought it, total crap. Brakes, power, vibes, uncomfortable, crap rusting as you watched. Good range though - but that made it worse, having to put up with misery for so long at a time.

I hounded a guy who had a 1968 Triumph Tiger to sell it to me. After i bought it and wrenched on it, i rode it about a half of dozen times and couldn't wait to get rid of it. I am a big guy and i was told it looked like a "monkey fucking a football". So i sold the thing.

Harley Sportsters, be it 883, 1200, XR1200 etc. I really REALLY want to like these things but every time I take one out, all I can think of is "Is this damned ride over yet?" They are slow, heavy, ill handling and crude.

Yamaha FZ1 2001. People raved about the tube framed naked R1. I found it to be peaky an dlacking at anything under 4500 rpm which at that point it would scream to life like a 600 super sport. It was awful. Later I rode of one the first 16 valve FZ1's the result of a total redesign. Now that was a machine! Lots of pwoer through out the rev range. Funny thing, all the magaszines called these second generation FZ1's peaky.

Yamaha FJR1300. It was blowing hot air at me like I was standing in front of a blast furnace, the clutch had no feel and about 1 mm of travel, it stalled on the downshift and just felt...weird.

ZX-14R. Wish I would have kept my CBR1100xx. The ninja did everything well but I didn't love it.

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Same here. I still have the ZX-14. It has grown on me, but I loved my Blackbird much more. The ZX-14 is way more powerful, but the CBR1100XX was smoother, better looking, had better build quality and was a lot cheaper to run. Simply the best bike I have ever owned.