Ken Daly's alternative look at the history of Middlesbrough and Brentford who play in a Sky Bet Championship play off at Griffin Park on Friday May 8 2015

What It Means: the ford across the River Brent, first recorded as Breguntford in 705, from the Celtic for Holy Place.

Why It's There: a ford at the lowest crossing point of the tidal Thames, older than London itself, already there when the Romans arrived. Expanded with Brunel's dock in 1855, and now the start of the M4 corridor, home to the likes of Waterstones, Barratt Homes, Glaxo Smith Kline, and English football's governing body, Sky TV. For anyone of a certain age synonymous with Brentford Nylons, textile retailing's equivalent of Wimbledon FC, responsible for many an uncomfortable, sleepless, sweat 'n static experience in the 1970's and 80's.

Why They're There: founded in 1899 to keep summer sportsmen fit in winter. Not cricketers like Boro, but the local rowing club, er, keeping their oar in. Some wanted to start a rugby club, but football won by eight votes to five. Joined the League in 1920.

The Field of Dreams: far more prosaic than the usual south-eastern ground in an old gravel pit or, Griffin Park is probably the only one built on an orchard. But no longer is it unique with a pub at each corner after one of them, the Royal Oak, closed a fortnight ago when the landlord left after a rent increase. Another, the Griffin, named after the brewery who owned the land, was also the changing room. Opened in 1904 and apparently cursed, with the main stand condemned days before the opening game, then its roof fell down. The floodlights came from Chelsea in 1983, probably the only part of Stamford Bridge still in working order after the post-match riot in their last game there, a goalless draw with Boro as both avoided relegation.

When It All Began: January 1936 (league), February 1907 (cup).

Local Heroes: Harry Curtis (manager for two promotions and into Division One); Ron Noades, former Palace owner who bought the club in 1998, made himself manager, and won promotion at first attempt; Jim Towers (record 163 goals in 282 games); Terry Hurlock (six years of service to the shinpad industry before much more at Millwall and Rangers); Kevin O'Connor, forced to retire this season after 501 games; Jordan Rhodes (Player of the Year 2009).

Local Villains: QPR, who tried to take them over (and kick them out of the their ground) in 1967; Jack Dunnett, the chairman behind it all, a Nottingham Labour MP and later chairman of Notts County and the Football League; Fulham, local rivalry and today almost class war, resumed this season for the first time this century; Ron Noades, overspent, resigned as manager then chairman but stayed another six years as owner; And Marcello Trotta, insisted on taking 94th minute penalty against Doncaster in final game of 2012-13 instead of normal taker O'Connor, and hit the bar. Donny then broke and scored, taking them up and keeping Brentford down. Had he scored they would have gone up. On loan from of all people - Fulham.

High Point: finishing fifth in their first season in Division One in 1936, and sixth for the next two; topping the table for four months in 1937-38; winning all 21 home games in 1929-30.

Low Point: only winning seven away and finishing second, when only one team went up; and 19th in Division four in 1974, avoiding a re-election application by just two points.

Boro Highs: 1-0 (December 1986 & September 2014) the only league wins in seven attempts; 3-3 (November 1937), coming from 3-1 down against the league leaders; 2-1 (January 1948) only FA Cup win in four attempts; (4-1 October 2002), Carling Cup win in only attempt.

Boro Lows: 1-4 (March 1937); and three FA Cup defeats, 0-1 (February 1907), 2-3 (January 1949), 1-2 (January 1964) with Brentford a division lower in two and in the Southern League in the first.

Boro Hero: Grant Leadbitter (January 2015) & Bernie Slaven (December 1986), only goal for only league wins; Micky Fenton, scorer of three of Boro's seven league goals there, and the last for nearly 50 years.

Boro Bogeyman: Dave McCulloch (March 1937) three of the goals in 1-4 defeat;

Typical Boro: 1-2 (December 1938) Brentford were second-bottom with only four wins; 1-2 in the FA Cup (January 1964), Brentford were in Division Three and hadn't won for 10 games; 4-1 (October 2002), Brentford hadn't lost at home for 10 months. Sold four players to the Brentford team of the 1930's that finished above them for the next two seasons.

So Boro They Could Be Deep-Fried and Covered in Parmesan: double promotion-winning manager Harry Curtis was an ex-referee, like Boro's Herbert Bamlett in the 1920's. Bamlett was sacked in the record-breaking spring of 1927, with Boro coasting to the title and re-writing record books every other week. Mark Warburton has been told he's not wanted, even if he gets them promoted.

Nearly Eaglescliffe: student friends of Joe Gettins (later to join Boro) who used their college chant: "Buck up B's" in the 1890's. The local newspapers misheard it as Bees, and so another clerical error inadvertently created history.

Nowhere Near Boro: one of only nine Championship clubs playing in a Tory constituency until yesterday. Watford and Bournemouth were among them, so were Ipswich.

Your Boys Took One Hell of a Beating: Bradley Walsh, (who played for them as a junior); Russell Grant, (who obviously didn't but helped design the current badge); Hard-Fi singer Richard Archer; two American female icons, Cameron Diaz, friend of a former chairman who now runs a Hollywood restaurant, and the first American in Britain, Pocahontas, who lived with her English husband in Brentford; And Greg Dyke, turned down by the then BBC Radio Teesside in 1970, but didn't hold a grudge, unlike another senior BBC executive who considered shutting it down until he realised the cost.