Suck it out

I put “should start saving for liposuction” on my bbm status after I got back from the hospital. Why? Because I’m at my heaviest weight ever. Instead of going in the internist office, all I wanted was to find the plastic surgeon and get a liposuction. I didn’t even wanna save money for that, I just wanted to swipe my card, proceeded to the OR and got out looking slim. I started reminiscing the months with my P.T, the tasteless chicken breast, the 100 crunches each day, the 800kcals burned daily, protein shake all day, fat burner before meals, herbalax before bed, the feeling of being gorgeous and all that. Where did those things go?

I’m still waiting for the result of my check up. The biggest possibility is I’d seek second opinion in the neighboring county. Should I take that extreme leap of going under lipo? Should I take the marie france bodyline offer. Should I start going to nutritionist?

My planner refused to start me a lipo plan because he thinks that I don’t need lipo. Little did he know, i don’t need the plan. There’a always this amount in my savings that I allocate for liposuction. I’ve been doing that since I got my first salary. Because I realize that just by exercising I’d never be as thin as Keira Knightley because I gain weight as I breathe.

A shot of vodka would be nice to clear my head, but do you know that a shot of vodka has as much calories as a slice of pizza?