Late-Night Laughs

Enjoy some good one-liners and bits from your favorite late-night comedians.

Who Should Be on the Trillion-Dollar Coin?

Jan 14, 2013

Conan O'Brien: "Tickets to President Obama's inauguration have sold out. At least that's what the President is telling Joe Biden."

Jimmy Fallon: "The President's team is promising special perks for donors who give at least a million dollars to the inauguration. Which is cool, but you know what else can get you a lot of perks? Keeping that million dollars."

David Letterman: "We're $20 trillion in debt, so somebody at the Treasury department says that what we'll do is print a coin for a trillion dollars. I've seen a prototype. It has a beautiful profile of Regis Philbin."

Stephen Colbert: "What do you put on a trillion-dollar coin? I'll tell what you it should be, those Charmin bears -– because when you pull an idea like this out of your ass, you're going to need something soft."