"Make a roc-ket to the stars/ A hundred years, way past Mars/ Fly-ing in your roc-ket ship/ Far away, from your wife and kids/ Space sex on a faraway starrrrrrrrrr!" Sound interesting? Gimme a few hundred billion and you sir could one day be living that fantastic tune.

Now a team of MIT researchers have designed a radar ray that can see right through concrete walls. Of course nerds would do that. Hey, how's "Doc Oc" looking on the other side of that wall? Nerds.

"I'm not fat—it's just the oxygen levels," said the huge single-celled ancient amoeba. And that amoeba was telling the truth. Unlike you, babe. I love you, but unlike you, babe.

So India says that it wants its own gravity wave detector, and you just stand there slack-jawed, thinking about feeding the dog and your date Friday night and your boring job and family and friends and, what else, the Powerball numbers and your favorite sports teams and the newspaper funny pages you read in the bathroom and the jokes you make afterwards for your little stand-up comedy performance coming up real soon—your first? I'll be right there cheering you on!