This weekend is a mess.
Today:
Grocery store
bank
Noon: Friend comes over to look at how to fix/paint house
Make signs for garage sale, and stake around 'hood
Dress up lions for garage sale (VERY IMPORTANT)
Label everything, digging in scary corners for those items that MUST GO!
Buy coffee for slaves
Buy beer and snacks for slaves
Buy party hats for slaves
5:00 pm: Help mom cook for BBQ on Sunday (a despot's work is never done)

Tomorrow:
6:00 am: Panic
Start hauling small crap out to porch
9:00 am: Buy donuts for slaves
9:56 am: Haggle with horrible dealers who want to rip you off
10:02 am: Haggle with horrible neighbors who want that Antique's Roadshow find for four bucks
3:44 pm: Look at crap left over and cry
Throw kerosene and match
Count money and/or kill self
Buy dinner for slaves
Sleep the sleep of the dead
Sunday\
Family BBQ with massive brand new family in faraway suburb where we all get lost and confused. \
Eat greasy ribs.\
Try to remember everyone's name\
Flee\
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Monday\
Dr's appt, which comparatively will seem positively restorative.\
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This may not seem that horrible on the surface. "Big deal," you say, "garage sale." But I'm not allowed to move anything (Dr's orders) and my husband threw his back out. I ask you, how does the L'il Mother and the Invalid have a garage sale? Answer: Slaves. It's very depressing to ask your dear friends to come over on a Saturday to haul your crap around. Makes me feel downright oogie.\
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But, as I said, a despot's work is never done. Nope.\