Let’s talk about appreciating your journey! When you are pursuing your goals and dreams there is no telling just how long the journey will be to reach your destination. If you are low in the patience department like I am then you want more than anything for it all to come together overnight. You want to be able to map out an efficient plan, put in the action, and quickly see the rewards of all of your hard work and effort.

We can sometimes get so caught up in the end game of what our plans are that we take for granted the small victories that happen along the way. We don’t take the time to celebrate the accomplishments that we manage to achieve as we go along. We want the pace towards success to be quick and preferably painless but that’s not the reality of most people’s journey in life. We even waste time comparing the trajectory of other people’s journey to ours. We get so busy looking over on their road, trying to see how fast they’re going that we miss the scenery of our own journey.

Your journey is your own and you should go at whatever pace is comfortable for you but don’t miss out on the journey trying to rush the process. Stop dwelling on the things that you haven’t been able to check off of your list yet. Appreciate where you are right now and the progress that you have made so far. Don’t rush the journey. Instead, take your time to enjoy the scenery along the way!

Let’s talk about self-doubt! I think everyone can admit, if they are being honest with themselves, that they talk to themselves. We tend to debate with our own conscience and question our every move, oftentimes second guessing things that we instinctually believe to be good initial decisions. We are sometimes our biggest champions but we can also tend to be our own worst critics. If something doesn’t go the way we think it should, or the way that we had planned it to go we lose a little bit of hope each time our plans falter. The problem that I don’t think that we realize we are inviting is that we are now speaking negative outcomes to things that we have positive intentions for.

It does no good to speak positively about what we are wishing to accomplish and then turn around and name all of the reasons that we think will cause us to inevitably fail. That negative self-talk that we do to ourselves is precisely what can change the course of things because now we’ve spoken negativity into the goals and dreams that we once had such a positive outlook on. There is no guarantee how anything that we map out will ever go so to talk ourselves down from following through with any idea we have, already assuming that it won’t become a reality, is just us sabotaging ourselves.

We have to be more mindful of how we talk to ourselves. We have to take special care to make sure that we are not talking ourselves out of things simply because we’re afraid that we may not succeed in it. We have to make sure that we are not talking down to our own inner conscience and that the negativity that someone else may be projecting onto you doesn’t get ingrained within our deepest thoughts. We have to make sure that we are our biggest and loudest cheerleaders and that the criticism that we give ourselves isn’t negative but rather constructive. How you talk to yourself matters, probably more than anything anyone could ever say to you. So be kind to yourself and always believe in the power that is within you. You are your greatest champion!

Let’s talk about the stories that make us! We all have moments in our lives that we sometimes wish hadn’t happened. There may be certain experiences that we wished had gone a different way than they did. Or even just a small rough patch that you wish you could’ve somehow dodged along the way. I know that I have a huge chunk of childhood experiences I’ve wished I could have replaced with better ones and some mistakes that I’ve made in my teenage or young adult years that I would do over again if I could.

The problem with trying to recreate history, however, is that if we were to do that we would completely miss out on the lesson that we were supposed to learn. In addition to that we would also not have the experiences that help to shape and mold us into the people we were meant to become. I was watching an episode of Oprah’s Master Class and the guest was talking about the fact that the stories that we share with others, the wisdom that we tend to draw on from other people’s experiences, come from the rough patches in life.

We wouldn’t have those experiences and those moments that give us teaching tools for life if there were no rough patches to begin with. What I’ve gone through in my life, the issues I’ve had with deep depression, the abuse I suffered in my childhood, even my struggles with my weight throughout most of my life, sure I may wish they hadn’t happened, but they could very well be the inspiration that someone else needs down the line.

I think of all of the inspiration that I’ve gotten from other people’s struggles and the obstacles that they’ve overcome to get to the level of success that they’re at now and it’s amazing. Knowing that when I finally achieve the goals that I’ve set out to accomplish and when I get to that level of success where I can truly influence others, to think that I could possibly provide some inspiration to someone else in the future and possibly give them feelings of hope is extremely comforting to me.

Our struggles that we endure and the obstacles that we battle through become some of the greatest fabric to our story. To ever try and wish that away would more than likely be a costly mistake because so much of our trials and tribulations are woven so intricately into our lives that without them we could be completely different people and not necessarily who we were ever meant to be. So when you start to dwell on the hard times that you’ve experienced, stop and think. If you were to wish those hard times away, those rough patches, then you wouldn’t have a story to tell. Those experiences have built your character and they are the reason that you can inspire the world around you. So make your stories count and let them be a way to heal somebody else.

Let’s talk about progress! Moving forward doesn’t always mean that the trajectory of that movement won’t come without taking a few steps backward. The problem with that is that at times the backwards steps can throw us for a loop and it can take the wind out of our sails. Naturally we lose the momentum that we had and have to reconfigure how we’re going to get everything back on track again.

Every backwards step is not necessarily a negative. Sometimes we have to go back and look at what we did wrong to begin with so that we can figure out how to effectively navigate our way through the mistakes and find the positive lessons to take with us to the next level. The only way you can truly move forward in the journey is to be able to honestly assess everything. We can’t just highlight the good moments and overlook or completely ignore the bumps in the road.

There is no straight line that gets us from point A all the way to Z. This course has many twists and turns and even some ups and downs that we aren’t always going to see as a necessary part of the journey. But even though these pit falls seem like huge boulder sized obstacles that can completely derail us, they oftentimes are bigger opportunities to learn something that we might not have learned if we had never stumbled to begin with.

The key to getting back on track with your goals is to accept the fact that you’ve had a setback and allow that misstep to be a lesson. We don’t progress if we don’t educate ourselves on what we don’t know and sometimes getting knocked backwards is the only way we begin to realize what it will actually take to move forward. Most of the time it’s not the tripping, or even the falling backwards that becomes the reason we don’t eventually succeed. It’s the staying down and never getting back up to move forward that stunts our growth. So stop trying to protect yourself from making mistakes. Just make sure that you learn something from the one’s that you make.

Let’s talk about distractions! The noise of our distractions can be so loud sometimes that it drowns out what really matters to us. There are so many things that keep people from succeeding and being productive in their endeavors. From friends and even family, to television and other things that aren’t of high priority, the environment we surround ourselves with can sometimes do more harm to us than good.

What can also be a distraction to our ultimate goals are the no’s that we hear and the failures that we endure. The obstacles that are thrown at us to derail our journey can allow us to get distracted. We tend to get caught up in the failed attempts at whatever it is we were trying to get accomplished that we overlook the fact that a failed attempt means that there was an attempt to begin with.

A failed attempt is a lesson for what not to do in the next attempt. People who like to constantly remind you of what you’ve failed at and who try to discourage you from making any further attempts at greatness are just distractions in disguise. I used to get distracted by the no’s and I’ll admit that sadly I was a person who had allowed defeat to make me feel defeated. I’ve been working really hard to make sure I change that. I have been working to not allow myself to fall into those particular distractions because they are not good for my productivity.

Sometimes, as hard as it may be to do, you have to block out the moments of defeat. You have to let go of the feelings of self-doubt that hearing no can bring about. You have to treat those moments in which you feel like you’ve failed as teaching tools for your path moving forward. Don’t be so distracted by the obstacle that you completely miss the lesson that it’s meant to teach you.

Let’s talk about atmosphere! The things and people you surround yourself with says a lot, not only about who you are but also about what you want out of your life. For instance, if all you surround yourself with are people who are negative and put out negative energies and your focus is on everything but your dreams and goals then you are inevitably going to absorb that negative energy and you will not get any closer to where it is that you say you want to go in terms of career. On the flip side, if you only allow positive people and things into your space and you keep your focus sharp then you are more likely to have a favorable outcome when it comes to achieving your goals in life.

I will admit that when I was in the midst of my latest bout of depression I wasn’t doing the best job of censoring the people I let into my space and my focus was so off that I didn’t just turn off down the wrong road somewhere, but I got completely off the track when it comes to my dreams and goals. I lost my way and at that moment I was so in my state of depression that it came off to anyone else looking inside my life from the outside as if I really didn’t give a damn.

The thing was I did care, so much so that I agonized over not being where I wanted to be in life and I agonized over not being able to conjure up the amount of energy that I needed to get things moving again. But now that I’ve pulled myself out of that space and I am trying to get myself and my dreams back on track I realize that I have to start limiting my surroundings and the people I let in my atmosphere, or rather the people that I keep in my atmosphere. This is why I believe in keeping a small circle of people around me because that way I don’t allow it to get too cluttered with negativity therefore it doesn’t become a toxic environment.

The atmosphere that you keep around you plays a large part in whether or not you reach your goals. If the people in your circle are draining you, if they’re not supporting your ambition, then reevaluate their position in your life. If they are pulling from your energy without trying to replenish it and add back to it, if there is nothing you are gaining from them, then you need to take a hard look at who you’re keeping around and whether they are truly good for your progression.

You can’t keep everyone around you when you are trying to go forward and they still want you to stay behind and dwell in the negative space that you may have been in before. Keep your focus clear, and pay attention to the energy of the people surrounding you and eliminate what isn’t propelling you towards your destination. I know how it sounds to say that but everyone can not go where you are going, and they’re not meant to!

Let’s talk about consistency! Do you remember when you were a kid and you discovered your passion, your dream. The moment when you realized that you actually had the talent to do what you dream of doing. You see others doing what you are only dreaming about at this beginning phase and it seems as if they have everything all together and sorted out and to you it would appear that they gained their success fairly quickly because of course you don’t see all the hard work that went into how they got to where they are.

You immediately think, well I’ve got talent just like they do and so it shouldn’t take me long at all and I think I could become an overnight success. When you’re just starting to work towards your goals you have this strange notion that talent will actually be enough and everything else can follow later. Of course when you get older is when you start to realize that there is some hard work and effort that goes into making your dreams become a reality and you start to come to terms with the fact that being an overnight success isn’t really possible.

Success comes in baby steps and it comes with a large dose of consistency. You are never going to get where you are trying to go by thinking that giant leaps are the only way that you are going to get there. Most of your journey is going to be taken in baby steps and you have to remain vigilant in your pursuit of your goals. There is no such thing as an overnight success. Even those who have managed to make it happen quicker than others, still didn’t achieve what they gained overnight.

So the next obstacle that gets in your way, and slows you down, don’t quit. Don’t just stop in your tracks and allow yourself to get stuck, or worse to turn around and move backwards. If you come up against an obstacle buckle down and dig your heels in deeper. The road is not going to be smooth the whole way through but if you keep pressing forward, and keep taking smaller steps at a time instead of trying to take these long strides you will reach your destination in due time.

Lets talk about patience! I remember sitting in church a few Sundays ago listening to my Pastor talk about having hope as we go through life. He talked about how suffering doesn’t always necessarily mean a negative experience, but simply just an experience. Then he said something that really struck a chord with me. He said too often we get impatient and we tend to walk away before the experience is through and before God has a chance to bring us through to the other side of it.

It made me think about my level of patience (which admittedly I have very little of) and had me questioning myself how many times have I walked away from something because it wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be, or should be. How many times have I just thrown in the towel because I got told no and felt the sting of rejection was just too much to deal with. How many times did I give up on something I dreamt of because I was just too frustrated to tough it out.

Then it made me realize that I am in this place I’m in right now, behind on my goals and my dreams, stuck running in circles, because I didn’t stick it out and I didn’t let God finish doing his part. I guess you could say I ran out of hope, either in myself or in the purpose that God had for me. It’s almost as if I was right there, right at the goal line, just several feet away from my destination and then I would chicken out and later I would have to start over again.

Fear has always been my Achilles heel and it’s the biggest flaw that I have. Now while I know that nothing is really worth going after without a healthy dose of fear, I have been reacting to the fears that I have rather than remaining hopeful and just pushing past those fears. I had lost hope in the reality that God would never allow me to experience something that didn’t serve a greater purpose. I had lost my patience in the fact that he would never leave me and will always bring me through whatever challenges I meet along the way.

So no matter what experiences you are currently going through on your journey, remain hopeful. Don’t lose sight of the fact that God is never going to leave you and you just have to be patient so that he can bring you through to the other side.

So let’s talk about our comfort zones! No one understands needing to have a routine more than I do. I am that person that annoyingly has to have a plan, a plan to map out the plan, and have all of the plans organized in a very particular way (I also have OCD issues but that’s a story for another blog post). I don’t say this as if I believe this to necessarily be a great thing, but rather, it is one of my many flaws that I wish I could do away with.

Obviously it’s good to have some organization when you are prioritizing your goals. However, sometimes I feel hindered by my obsessive need to over-plan and excessively organize things. It’s all done in an effort to stay within my comfort zone and admittedly it has held me back from doing a lot of things and it has in many ways perpetuated the fear that I’ve always carried along with me for most of my adult life.

My fear has stopped me so many times from taking chances and seizing opportunities but that need to remain in my comfort zone and sticking with my routine has only enhanced those fears. I suppose you could say that I had found a sense of security within my comfort zone and that being safe was far more enticing than living in the unknown realities of what it means to take risks.

I don’t advocate to anyone that they stay inside the box that they’ve created for themselves. I have been trying to get out of my own box for many years now but there’s always that invisible lid that I imagine will hit me on the head and knock me back down. I have been diligently working to change that about myself and I’m going to be open and welcoming to all opportunities that may come my way. If you haven’t already, start knocking down those walls of comfort that have been surrounding you. The only lid that is on the box that you have confined yourself to is the lid that you imagined is real.

Let’s talk about clarity! Sometimes when you’re going after your goals things can get a little confusing and muddled. When you shoot for the moon and fall short it could start to make you doubt yourself and question your moves. However, when you’re clear about your purpose and your priorities start to match your determination you become more empowered.

I think the difference between whether you remain in a state of failure or you become successful is in your clarity about your journey. Obviously no one knows what the end of the road is going to look like and you can’t control that. You do have control over making confident steps on the path to your destination. Hesitation in your movements can trip you up completely but always keep in mind that a trip is not a fall and if you get back up and keep it moving and remain clear then you will eventually get to where you are going.

Clarity is power. Becoming clear about what you want and what your purpose is can provide you with the knowledge of what strategies and steps need to be taken next to make progress in your goals. The thing is that if things are not going the way that you want them to at this point, you are going to need to make some changes in the way you’re doing things and you are going to need to get very clear about your goals and have even more clarity when it comes to your purpose. When you become clear about where your focus lies things will start falling into place exactly as they should be!