Retail Life

I don’t know why people find it necessary to tell me what I am or am not. How would you know? You aren’t me. Back off, lady.

Although, to be fair, when I haven’t completely woken up my voice does sound like I just swallowed a toad, so I did sound unwell, and I’m glad she cared about my health, but why she couldn’t believe me when I said I was fine I just will never understand.

Want me to turn your own Retail Life experience into a comic? Send me a suggestion HERE (understanding that I am under no obligation to do so and that I try to make my site fairly kid-friendly in case one of my ex-students wander over here BUT I love hearing people’s ridiculous retail stories, so you never know… Just let me know what alias you want to go by, because that’s more fun than a real name).

Want me to turn your own Retail Life experience into a comic? Send me a suggestion HERE (understanding that I am under no obligation to do so and that I try to make my site fairly kid-friendly in case my ex-students wander over here BUT I love hearing people’s ridiculous retail stories, so you never know… Just let me know what alias you want to go by, because that’s more fun than a real name).

I love my managers at New Burgundy. ALSO, any resemblance to actual persons whether living or dead is purely coincidental because Trust Me I am terrible at drawing people as fat stick figures and they never actually look like themselves.

Because you usually get posts on Sunday I didn’t want to disappoint you so I wrote you a comic based on My Life working at The Building Supplies Store [name has been changed for Reasons and I’m sure its identity will be a Complete and Absolute MYSTERY now]. Every once in awhile, when I have time (probably about once a month?) I will include a My Life comic (with Commentary) on Sundays (probably the first Sunday of the month?) because, my dear lovelies, some stories just absolutely need to be told because #WHAT and #WHY. Enjoy!

Asking a stranger to marry you, even if it is only an exaggeration to make a point, is not appropriate, especially when made to someone working in the service industry and they do not have the ability to escape from your comments which are making them uncomfortable.

Do not make assumptions about someone’s a) sexuality b) desire/ability to have children. I hate when people tell me to have babies, because a) it assumes I want to have sex, b) that I want to procreate, and c) that I don’t have fertility issues. A lot of women are infertile and it is a rough deal so DON’T ASSUME THINGS ABOUT WOMEN AND BABY HAVING. Just. Don’t.

I’m not beautiful, guys. I’m adorable, I’m occasionally pretty, but I’m not beautiful. This is factual. I’m not down-playing myself. But I’m a middle-of-the-road person. My body is lumpy and oddly proportioned. I mean, I love it. I get to call myself a lumpy space princess, so that’s fabulous. So I don’t know what his obsession with calling me beautiful was. I just don’t. I must have been having a really good hair day or something. Or maybe the apron I have to wear at work was hiding my lumpiness?

I wouldn’t actually break every bone in someone’s body because I’m mostly a pacifist, but people making assumptions about me or invading my personal space/life makes me incredibly internally angry and my thoughts turn uber-violent.

I still don’t understand the relevance to my ability to cook -_- OH MY GODS STOP WITH THE HETERONORMATIVE PATRIARCHAL BULLSHIT.

None of this conversation was appropriate to have with a cashier. None of it. I honestly should have been able to just say: “This is making me uncomfortable, please stop,” but he was a regular and I felt like I would get in trouble if I offended him and he complained to a manager. THIS KIND OF FEAR MAKES ME WANT TO BREAK THINGS. Like, all of the light bulbs in Aisle 1, Electrical. I wouldn’t, because the stupid “earth friendly” ones are filled with TOXIC CHEMICALS like MERCURY because that is definitely friendly for the earth and its water supplies ABSOLUTELY. Ahem. Wrong rant. THE POINT IS: this conversation should not have happened. He should not have made the comments OR I should have been able to immediately shut it down.

I feel like I should repeat: DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT PEOPLE IF YOU CAN HELP IT.