The Real “Truth” Conspiracy

I saw the same National Geographic documentary, Matt, and you’re only partially right. 9/11 was not an inside job by the U.S. government, at least not the government we are familiar with. That’s because the “9/11 Truth” movement is the U. S. government. In fact, the Truthers secretly control the government of almost every country, the entire world economy, Microsoft Vista, your right hand, Miley Cyrus, and the left side of the New York Yankees’ infield.

Consider:

The best way to divert attention away from your own suspicious activity is to point it toward somebody else. For instance, O. J. Simpson is looking for the “real killers.” Sound familiar?

No Truthers have ever given me full access to their personal checking accounts or social security numbers. What are they hiding?

If you stare at the mysterious eye on the back of the dollar bill for long enough, your eyes will begin to go blurry, and you might possibly lose your job and become destitute. Bingo! That’s exactly what they are hoping for.

One of the leading proponents of the 9/11 Truth movement, David Ray Griffin, is shown here giving a speech. Notice how I stopped the video at exactly 9:11. Crazy, right? There is not a single American flag in the background, and there is clearly no apple pie on the podium. Coincidence, or brazen anti-Americanism? Also, the Griffin is a mythological character with the body of a lion and the wings of an eagle. Where are the wings? Where is that long lion’s tail? Is it strange that my mail came a few minutes late today? What’s up with that?

First Pluto wasn’t a planet, then all of a sudden it was a planet, but now it’s not a planet anymore. It’s considered to be a half-fruit half-vegetable, like the tomato. Need I say more?

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