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I realize I’ve been a posting fiend recently. Master’s working a LOT. He’s working right now. And I’ve got all this shit spinning round and round in my head and I’m all sorts of excited that I’m actually paying attention to shit that needs paying attention to and… I’m thinking. Logically. About things that need thinking about. And that’s really freaking cool.

And it really does only take an hour to clean our house. That’s no joke. So what the hell else am I supposed to do while He’s working besides sit and think about all the shit I’ve caused and what steps I can take to fix it? Ah well. Maybe I’ll get that writing job I applied for and y’all will get at least a couple hours respite from me. =D

I was going to start this entry “So M used to talk to this girl I hated…” because I usually hate the girls He likes and vice versa. But then it occurred to me that I’m not really sure if I even knew the chick. Best not to start shit over no shit.

So!

Master used to talk to this chick. I’m not sure how often He actually talked to her. Maybe only a few times. I just remember that her intentions were to get involved with Him in some way. And one or the other of us pointed her to our blog. I think, back then, it was my blog. I don’t think the idea of Master blogging had even been discussed yet.

So she came here, looked around, read a few articles… And then went to Master and told Him, “Your slave concentrates on herself too much. Every entry is ‘I think this.’ or ‘I did that.’ There’s rarely ever mention of ‘we’ or ‘us’ or even ‘him’. You should work on that.” Read more…

How do you react when your owner expects something of you that you are not prepared to give? Is that the way you want to respond, and is that the way your owner wants you to respond?

How I react to orders that I’m not comfortable with really depends on the order. Sometimes I just roll my eyes and do it. I know, even as I roll my eyes, that I really should get tossed in the corner for a bit when I’m finished doing whatever it was He told me to do. But it’s an old reflex that I can’t seem to break. And I figure it’s better than the other times.

The other times…

We hadn’t been together long the first time Master loaned my use to someone else.

The beginning of our relationship was all about pushing boundaries. Both of us making asinine comments and mistakes and challenges and watching to see if the other would make it through the flaming hoop of death without getting their ass burned. Me trying to prove that I was more than He could handle and Him trying to prove that I was full of shit. That I was exactly what He was looking for.

We were together three or four months the first time He told me He wanted to give me to the guy next door.

At first it was a threat. If you don’t stop being such a prude, I’m gonna send you to R and show you how much of a whore you are. Or some such. It wasn’t always used in a sexual capacity. Sometimes, I’d be threatened with being told to offer myself to this guy for forgetting to do the dishes. It was a boundary and He wanted to push it. He doesn’t much care for being boxed in. Read more…