I was just on the toilet eating a fortune cookie, and the fortune inside said, “Failure is the tuition you pay for success”. What the hell does that mean?

-Allen

I think it’s a fancy way of saying, “If at first you don’t succeed, try try again.” Which is stupid. Look, sometimes people suck at things and, quite frankly, it’s pretty mean to encourage them to keep at it.

Way I see it, if you try something and fail, just walk away. Don’t humiliate yourself further.

You know what I suck at? Failing.

Still, the best fortune cookie fortune I’ve ever heard of was recounted to me by my friend Bob. It said, simply: