Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Colonel Kenneth L. Reusser, the most decorated US Marine Corps aviator in history and the only aviator to survive being shot down in all three wars of WWII, Korea and Vietnam, has died of natural causes at age 89.

Reusser flew 253 combat missions in World War II, Korea and Vietnam and was shot down five times in all. He earned 59 medals including two Navy Crosses, four Purple Hearts and two Legions of Merit, five Distinguished Flying Crosses, and nineteen Air Medals.

In 1945, while based in Okinawa, then Captain Reusser stripped down his F4U-4 Corsair fighter and intercepted a Japanese observation plane at a high altitude. When his guns froze, he flew his Corsair into the observation plane, hacking off its tail with his propeller.

In 1950 in Korea, then Major Reusser led an attack on a North Korean tank-repair facility at Inchon. In the face of fierce ground fire, he destroyed an oil storage facility. With his bombs and rockets expended, Maj. Reusser next attacked a camouflaged oil tanker at anchor in the harbor, raking it with his Corsair's 20 mm gunfire until the ship exploded, almost blowing him out of the air.

In Vietnam he served as commanding officer of Marine Aircraft Group 16, flying helicopters. He was leading a rescue mission when his Huey was shot down. He needed skin grafts over 35 percent of his burned body.

After retiring from the Marine Corps, he worked for Lockheed Aircraft and the Piasecki Helicopter Corp. He remained active in veterans groups. Col. Reusser died June 20 of natural causes in Oregon. He is survived by his wife, Trudy, and sons.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Despite the multitude of serious bugs that Splinter Cell: Double Agent had upon it's release; Anticipation has not been dampened for the return of Sam Fisher in Tom Clancy / Ubisoft spy series . Since we last saw him, Sam has evading the authorities and gone "dark" - deep under-cover. Set two years after the events of Double Agent, he's now forced out of hiding to hunt down the drunk driver who killed his daughter, Sarah in the previous game. Sam's quest will once again take him globe-trotting to Malta and Washington DC in an effort to unravel the most-certain-to-be-conspiracy behind her death.

What makes this quite different from the previous entries in the series is that now Sam will not have the gadgets he has as a member of Third Echelon, a wing of the NSA. Now he has to procure makeshift items in the field or from a network of allies, as well as obtain weapons from downed enemies. For example, Sam can break off a car rear-view mirror and use it as a makeshift snake cam. While his familiar three-sensor night-vision goggles wont be a part of his arsenal, he may encounter enemies who have NV equipment

Conviction's creative director Max Beland said that the goal for the development team was to create the fantasy of being one of the world's best stealth operatives, without the slow pace that's usually associated with stealth games, including Splinter Cell. While using stealth and the shadows is still important, you can move faster than before with a more fluid animation system. For example, you will see Sam run, climb, drop, leap, and kill with a minimum of sound. He can now run up pipes and shimmy across ledges in record time.

One addition is a "mark and execute" feature [also seen in Rainbow Six: Vegas]; it allows you to identify targets before storming a room and eliminating them. Instead of assigning their death to a teammate, Sam will have to do the dirty work by himself. By marking targets beforehand, he will auto-aim and fire once you issue the command. You will need line of sight to shoot targets, and you can not only select people but also interactive objects, such as lights, barrels, or traps.

Due to the personal nature of the mission, Sam's attitude is more aggressive and desperate this time around. This is demonstrated through interrogations. You can grab people by the throat or put them in a headlock and proceed to beat the information out of them. Depending on the circumstances, Sam can either knock them out or kill them outright, doing even Jack Bauer proud :)

The final feature revealed was "last known position." When an enemy breaks line of sight with you, a "ghost" of Sam will be superimposed into the environment to indicate where that enemy last saw you. Sam will be able to use it as a tool for escape, it will aid in creating an ambush while the enemy makes a beeline to your last known position. Conviction has eschewed the light meter for allowing the environment itself to indicate your visibility level. When Sam is exposed, everything will appear in full-colour; but when hidden in the shadows, it will all turn to grayscale. In this mode, objects still in colour are interactive--such as a chandelier that you can use to kill multiple guards.

Players seeking an immersive experience will be pleased to know there are no lengthy cutscenes or loading screens in Conviction. Instead, everything is presented to you through the game's engine. Ubisoft has taken a cinematic approach, and in-game text will be projected onto the world itself, such as buildings (for example, "infiltrate the mansion"), or roads. Fans of Fringe will be familiar with this technique. Video updates will also be projected in front of you. The videos seem to represent a mental projection of Sam's thoughts, including information on suspects and flashbacks of Sarah's death.

Michael Ironside will return to voice the ageing agent and Splinter Cell: Conviction is an exclusive for the Xbox 360 and PC and is currently due to ship in October.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

UNETIDA was placed on it's highest alert level Wednesday when it was learned that President Barack Obama personally slew a rogue fly in The White House.

UNETIDA Commander - Air Vice Marshal “Albatross” Davenport flew to Washington DC. Wednesday to meet with the US Joint Chiefs Of Staff concerning the President'srecent actions during an interview for CNBC where the he had threatened, assaulted and subsequently murdered a Musca domestica or Common Housefly, and then gloated about it.

“Basically, I had to be sure that the US wasn’t going to single handedly wage war on the flies” AVM Davenport said following the meeting. He said that UNETIDA does have a degree of autonomy but The UN Security Council must authorise their actions on a global scale. “President Obama’s somewhat reckless actions had us poised for war, should any of the insectiod races chosen to retaliate against any of us, ...and by any - I mean literally anyone! We don’t know if those blighters recognise our geopolitical divisions, they could take out whatever country was facing them at the time depending on the rotation of the planet. There’s no knowing how close, we came or even if the danger is passed. What if the fly was an ambassador or a peace envoy? We’d be rightly stuffed!”

“Annoyed? You bet your goddamn ass I’m annoyed” responded Colonel "Whopper" Creedon, UNETIDA's Special Operations Commander as he prepared his men, when asked if he was annoyed about the sudden mobilization of his unit due to Barack Obama’s new-found killer instinct. “But not pissed at my at my CinC for growing a pair as big as mine! No, I’m annoyed at these PETA morons for revealing that we possess “non lethal” methods of dealing with Bugs and that there is a section of human society that is prepared to use these devices willingly. Hellshit! The last impression we want to give our potential insect overlords is that we’re weak and faggoty about dealing with their threat and don’t wanna harm ‘em. Screw that! They’re gonna to get a subscription to a new broadsheet “The Daily Dose of Death” and I’m the Delivery Dude! Oorah!!!”

In a related note, Lt. Colonel “Dingo” Stuart, UNETIDA Asst. Director of Intelligence, has been given an assignment to detect any agency reporting the missing/damaged status of one of these.

Here is the video which is now being beamed into space and could anger those watching... from afar...

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

I always thought that one of the great signs of the apocalypse would be when my 5 favourite directors would craft a historically set epic. Cameron made Titanic, Bay made Pearl Harbor, Verhoven made Black Book and now Woo has directed this Red Cliff leaving only Tony Scott to stave off the end of the world single handedly.

I was honestly not expecting anything like this; yes I knew this was going to be epic, clocking in at the best part of 2.5 hours [cut down from the original 2-part 4.5 hour arse-numbing Chinese version], but I thought maybe along the lines of The Curse Of The Golden Flower or Hero and I also thought it was going to be Woo's attempt at an "Oscar type" movie. However I think I may have prejudged it a bit too quickly. This movie wouldn't win Ocsars because it's just too good, not a heaps of shit like they've been giving the golden statue to for the past 10 years. No, this is a brutal war movie, with lo-and-behold- a plot! Yes! A well crafted and properly written and thought out plot, not just filler to tie a host of spectacularly choreographed gun-ballet slow-mo dove-infested action sequences together! I was as shocked to discover this as you are reading it. But does this departure from the Woo-norm detract from the experience you expect from a Woo-movie? No. In fact I'd go as far as saying that it enhances it.

The movie is set set in 208 A.D., in the final days of the Han Dynasty. Emperor Han's Prime Minster- Cao Cao, convinced him that the only way to unite all of China was to declare war on the kingdoms of Xu in the West and East Wu in the south. A military campaign of unprecedented scale began, commanded by Cao Cao, himself. Left with no other hope for survival, Liu Bei of Xu and Zhou Yu, Viceroy of East Wu formed an alliance to defeat the plans of Cao Cao to both gain dominion over them and usurp the throne of Emperor Han. Red Cliff is where the final battle was fought changing the course of Chinese history forever.

I'll be putting a copy of Red Cliff on my shelf with the likes of Glory, Gladiator, The Last Samurai and Brotherhood as the finest examples of modern epics in movie history. Despite this being a "respectable" movie, however- it still retains the John Woo staple elements: A generous use of slow-motion, not the excessive bullet-time but just enough to show us the diverse expert fighting styles and weapons of the different generals fighting in the war. [Note: soldiers don't get any slow-mo unless being slaughtered or dismembered by the generals, and there are a lot of generals hanging about Red Cliff :)]. At the very end of the movie there is a Mexican Stand-Off, but instead of pistols and assault rifles [as this is in 208AD] we get swords and bows and arrows and the tension is even greater than normal. Finally we have a dove. An impossibly white sometimes CGI dove.

While the cast did a more than adequate job, but in order to have achieved the faultless rating, the original casting for the 3 main characters would've had to have been in place. The notable absence of Chow Yun-Fat was felt; he was to appear as Zhou Yu [and so Tony Leung would have played the strategist Zhuge Liang instead], but Chow's contract had 73 clauses that the movie's insurance company could not reconcile. The excellent Ken Wanatabe was to portray Cao Cao, but due to protestations of a Japanese actor being hired to play a prominent Chinese historical figure, Zhang Fengyi was cast instead.

I think personally, my favourite John Woo movie will always be Hard Boiled, but there isn't a shadow of a doubt that Red Cliff is easily his greatest achievement and is possibly enough to forgive him for some of his dodgy US movie choices. As an old friend of mine, Lo Wang once said: "Be proud, Mr. Woo!" and for this, more than anything else he has crafted - he can.

Final Verdict: If you've been unhappy with the more recent modern epics like Kingdom Of Heaven, Flags Of Our Fathers and Alexander; you don't mind reading 2.5 hours of subtitles and you don't squirm at the sight of flowing blood; then this is for you. One stuntman died and others were seriously injured to make this what it is and it's well worth the human life lost.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

This is a joke [thanks Bruce], but the idea is based on countless examples of fact...

A Harley rider is passing the zoo, when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.

The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain, the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.

A New York Times reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter says, "Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I saw a man do in my whole life."

The biker replies, "Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right."

The reporter says, "Well, I'm a journalist from the New York Times, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page...So, what do you do for a living, and what political affiliation do you have?"

The biker replies, "I'm a US Marine and a Republican."

The following morning the biker buys The New York Times to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on front page:

Monday, June 15, 2009

UNETIDA scientists in Dresden, Germany have been studying a small meteorite that crashed to Earth in the German city of Essen and allegedly struck a schoolboy. The event was set upon by the press on Friday including The Daily Mail, Sky News, The BBC but it's not until it appears on Fox News "does the Special Operations Division of UNETIDA take notice," affirmed Colonel "Whopper" Creedon, the divisions commanding officer, in Germany today.

"Taken at face value, the news story that has been circulated is very disturbing," said The Colonel. "It's not too far fetched to assume that this is just a test strike by the Alien Bugs of the planet Klendathu. They could start with something small like this but eventually could send ones big enough to take out BuenosAires."

Creedon also expressed concern that any human being that could have survived a direct hit from a meteorite travelling at such tremendous speed, may not in fact be human at all. "What the hell could he be? Superboy! That's all we need now another Kryptonian obliterating real-estate," saidThe Colonel who promptly entered a Humvee and was driven away.

Discover Magazine has an online blog entry which, although does not debunk the essence of what happened, it points out the lack of some of the most fundamental understanding of science in the original news articles.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

The USAF recently announced that they are going to buy an arsenal of a new precision-guided bunker buster, the GBU-57A/B Massive Ordnance Penetrator [MOP]. This is a 30,000-pound bomb which will be incorporated into the B-2A bomber fleet. Manufactured by Boeing, they are designed to destroy any bunker buried under ground.

While I'm not worried, [they'll not be used against me, after all] Kim Jong-Il, Osama Bin Laden or Mahmoud Ahmadinejad should be, as where ever they're hiding, or run to hide when these start dropping will no doubt be obliterated come June 2012 when the weapon will reach operational status.

The GPS-guided MOP has a 2.7 metric ton high explosive warhead, and can penetrate 60 meters of 5,000 psi reinforced concrete, 8m of 10,000 psis reinforced concrete, or 40m of moderately hard rock.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Many closed-minded individuals had already made up their mind about Terminator: Salvation long before the cameras rolled. It was the strange and certainly controversial choice as director, one Joseph McGinty Nichol, better known to the world as McG, Commanding General of the stupid Hollywood nickname brigade. His Charlie’s Angels movies are fun and entertaining [and are both on my DVD shelf] and Chuck, which he produces for NBC Television is loved by all who watch it. Both, while rich in action, are infused with a level of humour which he has extracted from his writers and performers to make those projects work for what they are. Terminator, on the other hand is rightly devoid of almost any humour whatsoever and McG is too unqualified and inexperienced to direct what is essentially a serious production; he's is a one-trick pony and Terminator and movies like it are not his trick.

Does that mean this movie is complete shit? No, quite far from it, but neither is it a worthy sequel to James Cameron’s seminal work. This is a superb action movie; it has guns, explosions, outstanding production design, and a host of never seen before Terminators, Skynet machines and defence-systems which flesh out the whole Terminator lore more than adequately. It will thrill most action-seeking cinemagoers [assuming you live in this part of the world where it’s been far more successful than stateside for some bizarre reason] and delivers a satisfactory experience. Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for die-hard Terminator fans, but I’ll get back to that.The acting is very mixed. On one hand we have Christian Bale as John Connor, who despite being an amazing actor – somehow appears beyond wooden here, I’d even go so far as saying he’s beyond even real wood – he’s like MDF or something – he’s that bad! I almost burst out laughing at one point when he’s after surviving a helicopter attack and an assault from a T-600 and the radio crackles into life to which Connor responds “Here!”, but it’s not “Here!” as you or I would say it, even out of breath with serious bruising or whatever; no, Bale delivers the word like an acutely constipated Batman who’s been winded by a Scotsman’s saber to the chest. The amount of projection he infuses into almost each line is staggering and far more distracting than his permanently-choking Dark Knight – it’s ridiculous. Add to that, the insanity of casting Michael Ironside, who talks like that normally!!! [Hang on didn’tIronside play a resistance leader who was also prepared to sacrifice prisoners for the good of the mission in a certain Alien invasion TV show in the mid-80’s?]

Thankfully, John Connor is only half the movie. The better half is Sam Worthington, whom Cameron has also bagged for Avatar, as Marcus- who as you’ll know from the spoiler-ridden movie trailers is a highly advanced Terminator – who thinks, nay – believes- he’s human. This man single handedly saves this film from shitsville despite the character making absolutely no sense at all in the grand scheme of the Terminator timeline. It’s an incredible irony. Another casting decision I must wholeheartedly agree with is giving the role of Kate Connor to the one true Goddess Bryce Dallas Howard who [has achieved #1 status in Whoppers Hotlist 2009. If only I could make a cream out of her and rub it all over my naked body] despite being somewhat underused she lights up the screen when on it.

The best accolades you’ll find bestowed on Terminator: Salvation in reference to how good a Terminator movie it is will be that is that it is about as good if not better than Johnathan Mostow’s Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines. What’s different in McG’s vision is that people are not just running around in blind panic [practically everyone in the movie is a hardened vet]. I don’t suppose you can have that going on for a two-hour movie and not have it labeled as survival-horror, a notoriously saturated genre today. However the essence of Terminator is “the chase” and “the suspense,” it is still possible in this setting, but McG just doesn’t deliver. It seems like he thought that if Cameron did one better than Alien with the vastly superior Aliens by changing the “threat” of the Alien by having more of them rather than just one powerful one- that he could do the same with Terminator. The problem was that Cameron made it work, but McG and his crew did not. Even Danny Elfman who composed an adequate score- did not use Brad Fiedel's Terminator theme, something T3 composer Marco Beltrami knew was an essential part of the essence of his movie but there's nothing familiar here either now.

I was very impressed with the art direction, namely the ruined L.A. and there are some amazing technical achievements in this movie, not least of which is an outstanding CGI rendition of Ahnold as the original T-800 prototype. Sadly after spending a colossal amount of money on this sequence, McG completely bollixed up by assassinating the character of a Terminator – he had the T-800 toy with his prey by throwing him off ledges, up against surfaces and all sorts of crazy shit instead of grabbing them and rending them limb from limb or crushing the throat. A Terminatorterminates – full stop, there’s no game, there’s no playing, a Terminatordoesn’t soften up its victim – this was bad writing – it would have been much better to show the T-800 emerging from its cocoon or whatever and start eliminating the fleeing prisoners and approaching- but never catching John Connor until the last moment when Marcus would step in or something; a lost opportunity – that would’ve created tension and we’d see a load of people die horribly. That was something else this movie lacked too; the 12PG rating meant little in the way of the horrific deaths we should have seen with blood, dismemberment, bullet impacts etc. It was all just a bit too sanitized. There’s a reason why the original is so loved 25 years on – it’s R-Rated.While it’s unfair to equate the Terminator franchise with the Batman franchise of the 90’s, it would seem that once again an unpopular director has been responsible with a loss of confidence in the brand. I think it may be better for Fox now to forget about a T5 and wait and attempt to do exactly what Warner did for Batman, what Paramount did for Star Trek and what Sony did for James Bond and that is to wait a while and just do a reboot for the new generation. We can wait 10 years if it’ll be done right.

Final Verdict: This is a great action movie but not such a good Terminator movie. While I’m positive that McG is not a bad director, he was just totally the wrong director for the serious, bleak subject matter.

Monday, June 08, 2009

Dr. Steven T. Colbert DFA has travelled to Baghdad, Iraq to record 4 episodes of his show, The Colbert Report in the domed marble hall of Saddam Hussein's former Al Faw Palace now at the US Military's Camp Victory. The satirical "conservative" pundit wearing a suit fashioned from the US Army's ACU camouflage pattern, declared victory in the war in Iraq.

General Ray Odierno, commander of US Forces in Iraq declined to agree, "We're not quite ready to declare victory," he said. "Things are moving forward but again, it's about bringing long-term stability." Colbert, who sat at a desk propped up by sandbags painted to simulate an American flag, responded by askingOdierno if he can bring long-term stability to the United States when he's done in Iraq.

Interestingly, Colbert sought to cast a spotlight on the declining attention paid to the war that has waged since 2003. He has said he was spurred to make the trip when he noticed economic news coverage eclipsing reports from Baghdad.

The highlight of the show however was that Gen. Odierno accepted a videotaped order from President Obama and proceeded to shear Colbert's hair off starting with an electric razor and a stylist appearing to finish off his crew-cut. The still not-so-irrelevant former Republican presidential candidate Sen. John McCain also made a video-clip appearance in which he thanked the troops for their service and reminded them to clean their muskets.

Celebrities have frequently traveled to Iraq to entertain the troops. But the series of half-hour shows mark the first time anyone has broadcast a taped non-news talk show fully produced and broadcast from Iraq as part of a U.S.O. tour.

The show airs this week on Comedy Central Mon-Thu 23:30 /22:30C US Time but sadly has been removed from the current UK schedule and no "officially" available.

Saturday, June 06, 2009

On June 6, 1944, In what remains the biggest amphibious assault in history, some 156,000 Allied personnel landed in France in an effort to free Europe from the Nazis. An estimated 10,000 Allied troops were left dead, wounded or missing. Now with most aged 85 or more; this may be the last time large numbers of ex-servicemen can attend D-Day ceremonies.

British PM Gordon Brown, Prince Charles, US President Barack Obama, Canadian PM Steven Harper and French President Nicolas Sarkozy attended a major commemoration event at the Normandy America cemetery, Colleville-sur-Mer on the 65th Anniversary of D-Day and a remembrance service at Bayeux Cathedral, Bayeux for British veterans to remember those who fought and died in the Normandy landings.

"At an hour of maximum danger, amid the bleakest of circumstances, men who thought themselves ordinary found within themselves the ability to do something extraordinary," President Obama said. "Had the Allies failed here, Hitler's occupation of this continent might have continued indefinitely."

Mr Brown said: "As long as freedom lives their debts will never die." He said it was an "honour" to speak for the British people on this day which marks the "triumph of right over wrong, truth over lies, the victory of human decency over hatred and the Holocaust". Brown said Europe and America were allies "not for a season but for centuries" and added: "In June 1944 in this place and at that moment Europe and America came closer together than at any time and any country."

A total of 9,387 US servicemen are buried at Colleville's American Cemetery, 307 whose names are unknown. Their resting place overlooks Omaha beach, the last and toughest beach to capture on D-Day. Among veterans and their families were WWII hero and Senator, Bob Dole and Tom Hanks who starred in the film Saving Private Ryan which dramatises the horror of the Omaha landing.

Friday, June 05, 2009

The entertainment world was shocked yesterday at news of the sudden death of one of its more memorable actors, David Carradine [72].

The Golden Globe-nominated and Saturn Award winning star was discovered dead hanging from a curtain rope within a closet in a Bangkok hotel room by a maid. He was well known for many roles, but most recently for playing Bill in Quentin Tarantino's hit Kill Bill movies.

Born John Arthur Carradine in 1936, he began an illustrious acting career on Broadway before becoming most widely known for the 1970s TV series Kung-Fu where he played the main character Kwai Chang "Grasshopper" Caine for 60 episodes for which he was nominated for a Prime-Time Emmy. He later reprised the role for 88 episodes of a spin-off - Kung-Fu: The Legend Continues. He also had roles in the epic mini-series North and South and made guest appearances on Airwolf, Alias and Charmed. Among his more memorable movie roles are Frankenstein in Death Race 2000 [1975], Rawley Wilkes in Lone Wolf McQuade with Chuck Norris [1983], Sorenson in Bird On A Wire with Mel Gibson [1990] and he did a voiceover for the re-imagined version of Frankenstein in the 2008 Death Race movie. His final film role was recently reviewed here was as Poon Dong, the bizarre, aged head of a Chinese Triad gang.

Carradine's family, friends and manager have expressed disbelief at claims he killed himself which was the initial Police assumption. His Kill Bill co-star Vivica Fox said: "I would have never, ever thought that he would kill himself. I find that to be almost unbelievable that he hung himself. He did not seem like the person that would take his own life. It just seems so out of character." Some have even speculated that the martial arts hero may have been a victim of auto-erotic asphyxiation. Some reports, as yet unconfirmed, have stated that in addition to having a rope tied around his neck, there was also a rope tied around his genitals.

CCTV cameras do not show anyone entering or leaving the hotel room and the door was locked from inside according to police. Further complicating the matter would is this excerpt from a 2004 interview:

"There was a period in my life when I had a single action Colt 45, loaded, in my desk drawer. And every night I'd take it out and think about blowing my head off, and then decide not to and go on with my life."

Carradine leaves behind his 5th wife, three children and a considerable body of work for which he will be remembered. May he rest in peace.

STAR WARS: Force For Change Founding Member

About Me

Years of being dropped on the head as a child has led me to believe that I'm a U.S. Marine General, a senior officer of a UN unit dedicated to defending the planet from things that the world doesn't believe exist. My spiritual beliefs are those formed from the work of George Lucas whom I consider to be a deity. Politically, I'm a right-wing authoritarian and believe diplomacy is achieved by those with the bigger gun. I enjoy listening to scores from movies and TV, watching action, military and sci-fi movies and television, playing 3D shooters and RPGs on the PC, reading comic-books and I adore the impressive sound of my own voice. I recorded 2IGTV; an award-nominated Podcast with my friend Mark centred on news from the world of popular culture which ran for 64 Episodes between '05 and '09. As an actor I've appeared in two major Irish short films and the pilot of a web-series. I've something to say about almost everything and you've made the wise choice of coming here to benefit from my vast wisdom, knowledge and ego - enjoy!

THE GENERAL'S RATINGS

No Star: The greatest load of shit ever, no redeeming qualities. It's creators are blacklisted and will be shot on sight if they don't redeem themselves before I meet them. Seriously - Dear God why?

1 Star (*): Awful crap. A complete waste of time. Should not have been made.

1.5 Stars (*1/2): Bad movie. I'm not happy about having paid to see this.

2 Stars (**): Dissapointing. Not that good at all except for perhaps a few select scenes or elements. I'll choose not to see this again.

2.5 Stars (**1/2): Glad I saw it, but ultimately not good enough. I won't turn it off if it appears on TV, but I'll have it on while doing something else, just to wait for the cool bit I remember.

3 Stars (***): Meh! Middle of the road movie. Balance between love and hated. May watch this on TV years later / may not.

3.5 Stars (***1/2): Enjoyable, but I would need to see it again, possibly on TV before I would purchase it.

4 Stars (****): Extreamly good. I would prefer to watch this again on Blu Ray a year or two on rather than see it on TV, but...

4.5 Stars (****1/2): Several minor flaws but not enough to distract you from excellence. Most likely will be added to my BD collection.

5 Stars (*****): An outstanding work of art. Practically Flawless. To be added to my BD collection.

5 Star Plus (*****+): One of the finest examples of it's genre.
Flawless. Automatically becomes part of my BD collection upon release.

EXEMPTION GRANTED: To be granted an exemption, a movie has literally to be amongst the greatest movies of all time. Examples include Robocop (1987), The Matrix (1999), Mission Impossible 2 (2000), Transformers (2007) and Iron Man 2 (2010). For religious purposes it is accepted that all Star Wars movies are exempt by default and cannot be reviewed.

Brigadier General Creedon is a Class-1 Nutter, he is not affiliated with a recognised news service, an officer of the US Marine Corps, a member of the organised Jedi Order or has ever slept with Scarlett Johannson. The General's Medal Of Honor is made of painted lead and bits of copper.

"If you don't like the news, go out and make some of your own!" -Scoop Nisker