fear vs intuition

I was away for a 2-day workshop with a coach this week, and as I was working on my vision for my life and business, something unexpected happened. The last piece to my giant vision puzzle fell on it’s place. It was something I hadn’t expected to be a part of my professional life, not something totally new, just not what I had imagined. Before I shout it out over the rooftops I need to figure it all out, so for now just have patience with me, because what happened was a good lesson in fear.

When I said IT out loud I instantly felt at ease, yet excited, knowing – absolutely knowing in the bottom of my heart – that this is what I am meant to do besides my writing.

After having felt this amazing ease and excitement, something else started to come up to the surface as I was picturing myself in this new role. The ease turned into worrying butterflies and the ”what if I fail”-thoughts came tumbling over me. It was as if I stood on the edge of a cliff on Mount Everest knowing there was no safety net.

During the next 24 hours I struggled with these two fighting feelings, but I knew what I should do.

For the past three years I have been working on singling out fear from intuition. To get the grip on my ego’s willingness to sabotage my success vs my intuition’s will to stop me from making bad mistakes. I’m starting to get the hang of it.

For me, it’s in the feeling of EASE vs the feeling of UNREST. The ease in my soul is my intuition guiding me right. The unrest is trying to debate with me in an unlimited amount of ’what if’s’ that will lead me nowhere but to failure. Whenever I have a hard time grasping what’s what, I close my eyes, breathe and ask myself the questions I need answers to. I wait, and I might need to ask them over and over again to make my heart speak louder. I look for the ease and shut out the unrest, and I wait for my brain to start making up logical or rational answers to why not. The only true answer is the one my soul goes still for.

More often than not when I get caught up in fearful thinking in terms of business, I go back to the truth of what Marianne Williamson has written, and I tend to find my way back:

Our deepest challenge is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.