Insomnia and pregnant and jerking awake

I've had insomnia for about 8 years now. I've had sleep meds for that entire 8 year span, except some miraculous 7-8 months where I had no trouble sleeping about four years ago. I have anxiety and have been keeping it under good control, but the pregnancy has amped it up a little and I've had a few small panic attacks and keep chest pain from general anxiety.

I am used to taking sleep meds and had resigned myself to it for the rest of my life. However, my pregnancy has made me change to doxepin for a sleep med. I tried to go without the first week and it was a living hell. I slept about 1-2hrs in 48hrs and then begged the MD for something. This pregnancy was unplanned, partly because of this issue with insomnia and anxiety made me concerned that I should never be pregnant. But that is now a moot point.

My question is: can't I be so freaked out by the lack of sleep that I literally have a phobia of insomnia? I woke at 3am one night this week and couldn't get back to sleep, even with my sleep med. I promptly started sweating it and stressing out about it, even shed a couple of tears.

Another question: How am I going to deal with a newborn waking me at all hours, with my sleep med on board? I am afraid I will be a tired, anxious mess. AND I won't be able to work, if I can't sleep due to the baby and then have to get thru a day of work.

ANY time I dont' get sleep - I get anxiety and sometimes panic attacks. In fact, if I could guarantee that I would never have sleep problems, I would have very few anxiety issues.

I can't nap either. People say, "sleep when the baby sleeps". Well, I don't have that luxury. I've probably had one successful nap in about 10 months. I jerk awake, with what I think are hypnic jerks. I don't know why I do that on such a consistent basis. I see other people drifting off or napping and I just want to tear my hair out in jealousy!

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