I remember having the pleasure of hearing King Abdullah II of Jordan give the commencement address the year our oldest child (of four) graduated from Deerfield. There were a lot of firsts in that for me: first time seeing three helicopters land on the athletic fields, first time hearing a King of anything give a speech, and first time going through the lovely rituals that comprise a Deerfield Commencement ceremony. Sitting tentatively on a white wooden chair, I elected to watch the large figure on the TV screen as opposed to the quite distant and remote figure behind the podium. I could not have known that his speech would prove a textbook example of how to give a commencement address (note to self, just in case!), nor that his message would be so simple and yet truly compelling. The King began with his own time at Deerfield, and looking out at the audience as if in search of something, methodically and specifically thanked the people in every walk of the school who had helped define his Deerfield experience. Then he turned to the graduates, and asked them to stand and thank their parents, which they did with warm applause. After some expected words about things beginning and not ending, and a few reflections on the journey of minds into adulthood, he asked them to rise again and thank their teachers and the Deerfield staff. The roar reverberated across the quad.

Not lost on me in his succinct address is that there are things in our life that are bigger than words, and so two words should always come to mind when you aren’t quite sure what to say. Those words would be “thank you.” Now as my last child prepares to do her final walk, I wish there was an easy way to reach out to those many professionals at Deerfield who went the extra mile to make her time there so extraordinary. She found her definition more in the performing arts than on the playing fields. While others would thank coaches and trainers and inspiring teachers, my thanks flow more to dance instructors and drama coaches and, of course, inspiring teachers. A prospective parent had asked me when we sent our second child to Deerfield just what it was that made that school so special. “I never thought I’d meet people who cared as much about my child as her mother and I do,” I replied. “And at Deerfield, I think they do.” It’s hard to find a “thank you” big enough to cover that!

The Deerfield Parents Network will enter its fourth year next fall. At our meeting this spring, Marc Johnson will be nominated to be its third president. It has been a wonderful privilege for me to serve on this parent-driven initiative, and I’m especially proud that the mission has been so clearly defined as one of support for the school, with a special emphasis on reaching out to families new to Deerfield through the First Link program. It has been wonderful to see the number of parents who have inquired about ways to participate. The DPN also helps with community and campus service projects, and prepares articles and interviews for The Link, covering aspects of the school that constitute a library of shared experiences. Participation in the Deerfield Parents Network is a wonderful way to give back and get involved. Please don’t hesitate to email Marc Johnson if you’d like to lend a hand. Thank you!

As the school year winds down and the prospect of packing up looms, let’s pause for a moment to thank the two members of the Deerfield community perhaps most responsible for getting the books, supplies, memorabilia, care packages, online purchases and all manner of dorm room detritus in to the hands of our children on a timely basis. Take a bow, Joe Garey and Tim (“Wondo”) Wondoloski of Shipping and Receiving. From unloading text books and school supplies in the summer to sorting through college acceptance envelopes and prom dresses in the spring, Joe and Wondo keep track of a mind boggling 500 to 700 packages per week as well as heavy freight deliveries. Everything from the outside world–except the food for the dining hall–passes through their small office on the edge of campus.

What makes Joe and Wondo so special is that for them the most gratifying aspect of their jobs is their interaction with students rather than the inventorying of their stuff. They take great pride in knowing the names of every child on campus with their most frequent “customers” the recipients of affectionate nicknames. They go out of their way to chat up students as they sign out their deliveries, asking about their days and offering to transport large packages directly to dorms. And in their corner of campus they have created a space that is functional yet comfortable to visit, filled with objects that reflect their interests and personalities. Six model airplanes made by Joe dangle from the ceiling; a model car that took him 16 hours to build sits on a shelf behind his desk; and one entire wall displays the hat collection, at last count 139 baseball caps from students and parents.

Now that the weather is warm, Joe and Wondo do regular barbecues featuring hamburgers and hotdogs. So hats off to Joe, part of the Deerfield community for 24 years, and Wondo, 18 years and counting, for creating such a happy destination for our children.

As new parents at Deerfield, we all have questions. What does my daughter really need for her room? How do I ensure that my son will stay in contact with me without driving him crazy? What exactly is pre-season? No matter how large or small, the First Link Program strives to provide answers to these questions while establishing meaningful connections between Deerfield families.

Since its inception two years ago, First Link has filled a need in the community by pairing current parent volunteers with incoming families in order to help navigate the transition to a new school. While much energy and detail has always been focused on the needs of new students, the transition for new parents had never been formally addressed. A wide variety of issues can arise for parents, especially when a child is leaving the home for the first time. According to Pat Gimbel, Dean of Admission and Financial Aid, “The program has absolutely filled a gap and really seems to have struck a chord. It has been an extremely gratifying initiative for both sides.”

First Link volunteers have addressed questions ranging from transportation issues to homesickness to booking accommodations for parents’ weekend. They have discussed everything from handling academic pressure to the merits of snow boots in New England. Perhaps most importantly, the program provides new families with an immediate sense of community by making them feel welcome. New parent Nadine Alexandre describes her First Link connection this way,“The whole experience made us feel warm and fuzzy. It confirmed that sending my daughter to Deerfield was absolutely the right decision.”

In addition to providing a valuable resource for new families, the program allows Deerfield parents to contribute their time in a meaningful way. Ms. Alexandre states, “Deerfield has been such a blessing to my daughter and our family. I would be remiss not to give back in all the ways that I can.” In its second year, the program elicited overwhelmingly strong support from current parents. “The response we received from our letter last spring was fantastic. We had enough volunteers signed up to cover all new families within one week”, says Penny Ashford, First Link Chair. Now entering its third year, the program only seems to be gaining momentum. Ashford reports that after sending this year’s request for volunteers on April 10th, she received responses from more than 100 families within 24 hours!

The primary challenge this past year, according to Pat Gimbel, was geography. It is more difficult to match students from areas that are not well represented geographically, but Mrs. Gimbel takes other aspects into account when matching families, looking for common interests. Consideration is given to families who need to fly, and the logistics involved. Additionally, Mrs. Gimbel is always looking for families who have an interest in hosting International students. Many relationships formed through the program have transcended geographical differences. Jill Hole, of Ormond Beach, Florida says, “We were assigned a family living in Russia last year and have kept in contact. We really enjoyed making friends with them!

Although the degree of support desired by new parents varies, the simple act of making a new connection seems to be appreciated by all. Now, as First Link launches its third year, it is clear that these connections extend well beyond initial welcoming phone calls. Current parents have expressed appreciation to the program for linking them with families they may not have otherwise met. In some cases, they do not have students in the same grade, and are grateful to have met though First Link. Deerfield parents are eager to share their insight with newly admitted families, and often, lasting friendships are formed. Melissa Fleming of Bedford, NY describes her experience this way, “I would be delighted to again host a new family. We love our existing family and really feel we have made some lovely friends in them. They are from Columbia, and if we ever go I know they will take care of us, or one of our children, just as we have tried to welcome and take care of their daughter.”

Penny Ashford will be coordinating the program again this year, along with co-chair Missy DeCamp. If you are interested in welcoming a new family to Deerfield this spring, please email pmashford@comcast.net or missy.decamp@comcast.net.

We are pleased to report that, through the end of February, current DA parents have contributed $1.2 million to the Annual Fund with a participation rate of 44%. The total contributed to date, and the participation rate, are both ahead of this point last year. In addition, many current parents have played a big role in helping the Imagine Deerfield campaign hit $132 million just one and a half years after the public launch.

We made increasing Annual Fund parent participation a primary objective this year as parent participation has been lagging some in recent years. For this fiscal year, the parent participation goal is 80%, which compares to the 73% participation level achieved last year. During the balance of the school year, parents with a child in the classes of 2014, ’15 and ’16 who have not yet contributed to the DA Annual Fund will be contacted by another parent volunteer. We would ask that you please respond when contacted, either by phone or e-mail, by a fellow parent. Each parent will be contacting you with a specific ask amount, which we have attempted to size based on our estimate of capacity. Please give what you can and help us to achieve our participation and fund raising goals for the year.

It is important to note that through the generosity of parents, Deerfield continues to invest in advancing its academic programs with classes such as:

AP Cambridge: Global H2O, a 2-year program looking at the scientific, geopolitical, and economic issues related to water;

Electric Vehicle Engineering, in which students design and build an electric vehicle for competitions; and

Biochemical Research, which uses a small team approach to investigating natural and synthetic molecules that interact with biological systems.

Deerfield would not be the school that it is today without a solid history of parent support. Through the years, parent giving has been instrumental in creating a school with rock-solid financial stability, along with a diverse, uniquely talented faculty and student body. This has enabled Deerfield to remain a community accentuated by sit-down meals and close faculty/student relationships in the classroom, on the playing fields and in the dorms. Philanthropy represents the difference between a good school and a great school, and it is this tradition of support that has created all the reasons our students wanted to come to Deerfield in the first place. Please help to continue this tradition by giving generously to the Annual Fund.

When asked to write a brief piece for The Link about my experience as a new parent taking “Deerfield 101” during Look to the Hills last summer I hesitated. The “Deerfield 101” session was meant to be a crash course in all things Deerfield, a way for new parents to grasp the basics: How will my child get his work done? How will he figure out where his classes are? How will she be fed, housed and cared for? How will she know where to go if there is a problem? In short, how will my child POSSIBLY manage without me?

It turns out my “Deerfield 101” course was brief, complete and to the point. The few parents who attended had their questions answered in short order. In recalling this experience and in thinking about what I should report to Link readers a light bulb went off. In reality the entirety of my Look to the Hills experience was my Deerfield 101.

I signed up for Look to the Hills specifically to learn about this place that my son would be entering a few short weeks into the future. He would be arriving on campus as a new sophomore joining classmates who already had a year of Deerfield behind them, who already had formed social groups, who already knew the ropes. I signed up for Look to the Hills because I wanted to understand how he might fare and how he might be treated entering mid-stream.

And so, I chose to attend Look to the Hills. Alone, like my son, I would enter a scene to live and learn–for a few days anyway–with others who already belonged and who were familiar with each other and the place. We often wonder how our children will make their way at school for the first time away from home. Look to the Hills was not like attending the usual info session for parents. It was a version of the reality of life at Deerfield, of being a new student.

There was Mr. Pitcher leading our class in a discussion of America at the Mexican border, teasing out class participation and insights from us novices knowing that some of us had not finished the required reading. There was Dr. Hills sharing with us in the dining hall his work experience as a top researcher at Merck, his analysis of how Big Pharma operates, and his motivations for leaving the world of big-budget, narrowly focused research to come to the world of Deerfield and advance the mission of inspiring young minds to learn not only about chemistry but also about how the world works and in so doing to learn about themselves. There were meals shared with faculty and staff. There was socializing in the Greer at the end of long fruitful days. But most of all there was camaraderie and sharing. Old friends and newcomers alike were welcomed and everyone at Deerfield seemed like a host.

Look to the Hills was enjoyable for all the things and in all the ways you might expect at a friendly and academically alive place like Deerfield. But for a new parent it was confirmation that my son’s decision to accept Deerfield’s offer of admission was indeed the right decision for him. While there would no doubt be uncertainties ahead, there was much more so a sense of excitement for the Deerfield opportunities my son would soon find for himself.

This year’s “Jingle Mingle” annual holiday party for faculty and staff had a new twist. It took place on the Starfield in the Koch Center on a December evening after students left for winter break. Highlights included a catered buffet, faculty band, staff performers, and dancing. One attendee described it as an evening full of “fun and fellowship!”

But what distinguished the event and highlighted the sense of community we at DA have come to appreciate was the generosity of parents and students in donating items to a new Deerfield Parents Network initiative–a free raffle comprised of more than 80 packages. Faculty and staff won everything from vacations in Rhode Island, Maine, Vermont, Colorado, Florida, Texas and New York City to gift certificates for local Pocumtuck Valley shops and restaurants, including Blue Heron, DiPaolo’s, Hope and Olive, Yankee Candle, Bicycles Unlimited, Cinemax and Brooks and Butterfield Spa. Parents donated tickets to the American Ballet Theater, New York City Ballet, Jimmy Buffet concert, a guided tour of Yale’s Art and Architecture Gallery, as well as Apple, Amazon, and Visa gift cards.

Not to be outdone by their parents, about 40 Deerfield students wanted to show their appreciation for faculty and staff. They donated services including: ice skating, lacrosse, squash, basketball, tennis, soccer, field hockey, swimming, voice and piano lessons, baking and decorating cupcakes and cookies, babysitting, arts and crafts instruction and dog walking. One student even donated her time to build a snowman with faculty children. Fortunately, unlike last winter, there was plenty of snow to facilitate this!!

Receptionist Cressey Belden Janko said: “This giant raffle really was the jewel of the party. The numbers of attendees swelled as the word spread about the parents’ generosity. In the beginning, we passed out lists of the choices so that winners would know what they wanted ahead of time. Arriving in the ‘Raffle Room,’ they were given a few minutes to make a decision. As one of the people helping coordinate this process, it was an absolute delight, like being one of Santa’s elves.We had many interesting dialogues, ‘Which would you prefer, a memento or an experience?’ … ‘Would you rather go out in a large group for pizza or an elegant romantic dinner?’ … ‘Are you thinking about something for yourself or someone special in your life?’ Thank you for giving so much joy to our community.”

Head of School Margarita Curtis summed up the evening as follows: “Faculty and staff appreciate enormously the parents’ generosity! Brimming with creative, elegant prizes, the Jingle Mingle Raffle filled our holiday festivities with excitement. We all thank you for your thoughtfulness.”

Cressey was kind enough to provide “live coverage” from the Raffle Room:

“I’m going to Nantucket!” first winner, Jess Day (Communications) cried out, eyes alight. She had it all planned out, what she would pick, if she won.

“It’s so you!” Many people to Judie O’Donnell (Head of School’s office) on winning the Tiffany croc handbag.

“Austin! Awesome!” The Ardreys (Day Care & Alumni/Development).

“Oooh, I just want to go out to a lovely dinner!” Julie Collins (Finance), going to DiPaolo’s.

“I can’t wait. I want a bike!” Sandy Yager (School Store)

“Is the photo shoot still available? That’s what we want!” The Savages (Language & Admission).

We are fortunate to have such a talented and dedicated group of people on campus who, along with their families, are a daily part of our children’s lives. Parents were excited to have the opportunity to thank them for all they do. We appreciate the participation of so many parents and students, which helped to make this effort a resounding success.

Plans for next year will be considered by Dr. Curtis, with input from the Prize Committee and the DPN.

Written by By Kelly Pasciucco P’10,’13; Greenwich, CT and Phyllis Powers P’09,’10,’13; East Sandwich, MA

The daffodils and tulips planted by Deerfield parents are finally in bloom across campus, a sure sign that Spring Parents Weekend is almost upon us. In addition to the opportunity to attend classes, athletic contests and enjoy buffet meals with school families, don’t miss the following:

Friday, May 10th:

7-10:30 am: Coffee and refreshments with fellow members of the Deerfield Parents Network

10-10:30 am: Welcome from Margarita Curtis, Head of School

1:30-3:30 pm: College Fair

5-5:45 pm and 6:15-7 pm: Theater performance

7:30 pm: Band and dance performances, followed by a reception.

Saturday, May 11th:

9-10:15 am: “Success at Deerfield: How is it measured, who gets there and how?” Presented by Drs. Sheila Fritz-Ellis and Stuart Bickell

10:30 am-12:30 pm: Finals of the Sophomore Class Declamation Contest

11 am: College Advising Discussion for Junior Class Parents with Chris Gruber, Dean of Admissions at Davidson College

Martha Lyman is the Associate Head of School and the Director of College Advising. Before coming to Deerfield in the fall of 1988, she worked for ten years as a member of the admissions committee and Director of Financial Aid at Harvard. Marty holds a BA degree from Mount Holyoke and a Masters in Education from Harvard. On July 1 Marty will turn her attention to designing a summer session for Deerfield to begin in the summer of 2015. Mark Spencer, currently the Dean of Admissions at Brandeis, will assume her duties in the College Advising Office. We asked Marty to share her thoughts on parent strategies for keeping the college process healthy, as well as advice for members of each class–including our soon-to-be graduates–on making the most of their summer preparation for college.

Q. Marty, we parents worry about where our children are going to go to college almost from the moment they set foot on the Deerfield campus. What advice could you offer about how to channel those concerns in ways that are healthy for our children?

A. High school is a time of dramatic adolescent growth and development. Watching and supporting those changes is one of the most rewarding aspects of working at Deerfield. And that development is where parents should focus first. Is my child fully engaged in the classroom? How is he contributing to the community? Is she developing meaningful interests and talents? Rather than thinking about college prospects early on, one might ask instead, is my child blossoming? Be sure to read teacher comments and advisor reports as carefully and objectively as possible and review them with your child. If there are gaps or areas for improvement, talk with your child and his advisor about what steps he might take to improve. Follow up on those at the end of next term.

On the college side, parents should begin to educate themselves about the changing landscape in college admissions. Neither students nor parents should assume that the mere fact of being a Deerfield student assures a particular outcome. Competition for admission to college puts students in an entirely different league than admission to Deerfield in which they are competing with less than 1% of high school students in the nation. College admission is a different story. This year, for example, the University of California, Los Angeles received 80,482 applications. Thousands of highly qualified California residents with excellent high school records were turned away. Tufts turned down more than 80% of its applicants. Vanderbilt, once a “good” regional school, has transformed itself over the last ten years into one of the most selective colleges in the country. Admit rates at Harvard and Stanford dropped below 6%. Parents need to educate themselves about the full range of higher educational opportunities in this country and, possibly, abroad. Begin by looking at U.S. News and World Report’s list of the top 100 colleges in the U.S. If you want to dig a little deeper in order to evaluate what it takes academically to gain admission to specific colleges, search for the common data set that each school is required to publish. That will provide you with information about numbers of applicants, admit rates, average test scores, gender breakdown, etc. Be realistic about how your child’s credentials match up. Think about which colleges might be the best fit given your child’s interests, ability and level of maturity.

Q. As we do our research, how might we gauge where our child fits in the range of colleges out there?

A. In looking at your child’s grades always review where she stands relative to the class median; that will give you a good idea of how your child compares to other students in a particular class. Although Deerfield does not rank, colleges will want to know how your child has performed relative to his classmates. Sophomores take the PSAT in the fall. Ask your child to show you those scores and compare them with information from the common data set. Make sure you understand the rigor of your child’s schedule relative to others.

Q. What if anything would you recommend that our soon to be rising sophomores and juniors do this summer as part of the college process?

A. Again, I would say that the key question you want to ask yourselves is how well is my child developing. Is he empathetic? Independent? Resilient? Taking initiative? Has she developed a deep interest or made a marked commitment to one field or activity? Think about summer activities which allow your child to explore interests, develop talents and gain confidence and maturity. Those might involve finding a paying job, designing a service project or gaining more knowledge or experience in an academic field of interest. In specific regard to college searching it’s important to gauge your child’s interest in and readiness for this topic. As the parent of a rising sophomore you might casually drive through one or two college campuses just to give your child a preview of different types of schools. If your child is a rising junior you could take it a little further by actually doing official campus tours at several colleges. Some students will be ready to do more; some may refuse to get out of the car. But by February or March of junior year even the most reluctant will typically be ready to engage.

Q. What about summer test prep for rising sophomores and juniors?

A. Student buy-in is crucial to its effectiveness. Review PSAT scores with your child (they will take them both sophomore and junior year) to see where they stand. Consider having your child take the ACT as well in order to compare tests and determine if one test is better for him than another. If you have questions, call the College Advising Office or talk to your child’s advisor. But sometimes test prep is not the answer.

Q. I am confused about what you mean by test prep not always being the answer. Would you give me some specific examples?

A. Here are two examples: I worked with a student recently who, as a junior, had a low SAT math score. She was struggling in her math class and lacked confidence in her ability. My advice to her was “learn the math.” Her parents found a highly skilled math teacher to work with her over the summer; she helped her learn the concepts and gain confidence in her math skills. Another advisee was a non-native speaker of English. His parents wanted him to spend hours on test prep. My advice was that focusing on improving his English would be more beneficial than test prep alone. In both cases I advocated learning the underlying material rather than relying solely on strategy and practice tests. Both students saw a nice jump in their scores.

Q. Members of the Class of 2014, our rising seniors, were each assigned a College Advisor in January. What kinds of information does each student already have about his or her performance and possible college choices for use during this summer?

A. Our purpose in working with juniors in the spring is first to get to know them; then to create a plan for standardized test taking; to choose courses for next year; and finally to develop a list of colleges to visit. The list has various categories of selectivity and my plea to parents would be to take the entire list seriously. Oftentimes the less selective the school the more concerned it is with demonstrated interest, and therefore a low rating in “interest expressed” can lead to a rejection. After a disappointing Early Decision in December, it can be an uphill battle for a senior applying to a variety of other schools if he or she has not talked with the schools’ representatives at the College Fair, has not visited the campuses or taken advantage of a campus interview if offered. In these highly competitive days students must explore a wide range of colleges.

Q. What makes for a successful summer visit? And how should parents assess their rising senior’s or their own gut reaction to a school when usually there are not many students on campus?

A. College visits for rising seniors are most effective if the student knows what he is looking for. I recommend the student do research ahead of time about areas of interest at the colleges you will be visiting. During the visit you should check out academic departments of interest. If you’re interested in the visual arts, visit the Art department to see what kind of work they are doing. How does yours compare? If you’re interested in English, go the bookstore to see what they are reading. Pick up their version of Albany Road. If you want to be a chemist, check out the science labs. This kind of investigation will also give the student an idea of institutional priorities and give him a better idea of whether his talents and interests match those of the college.

I believe in gut reactions although you might want to let go of a negative reaction to one tour guide when everything else seems to fit. Parents should ask their child probing questions about a college but try to refrain from giving away their own point of view. When Jeff Brenzel, Dean of Admissions at Yale, spoke to junior parents in May a few years ago he urged a parent mantra of “That’s interesting” as the response to all student observations on college visits in order to allow room for the child to form his own opinion.

Q. Should rising seniors finish their main college essays by the end of the summer?

A. It is a good idea for a student to write a college essay over the summer but it may not be the “final” essay because students continue to grow and mature at such a rapid rate at this time in their lives. The essay written in June will probably not be the essay a student would write in October. That’s okay. Working on the essay is a critical part of the application process. It helps students think about themselves and about what they want others to know about them.

Q. What role should we parents play in evaluating this summer effort?

A. Parents are not typically skilled in the art of evaluating a college essay although they may be very helpful in the brainstorming phase. Because you know your child so well you may understand what he is saying when an objective reader cannot. You might be tempted to edit and, inadvertently, cloud the voice of your child. The essay writing phase is a wonderful time for the student to be in touch with his college advisor. We get to know them better while working with them on essays and, since we have read lots of college essays, we have a good idea of what works and what does not.

Q. What makes for a good college essay? And what if my child is not a good writer?

A. A good college essay is an authentic one. A good essay has something to say and it is written clearly and correctly. The student’s real voice is important and persuasive. For some it is a slow process. Be patient. Most students are highly motivated and, often, surprise themselves (and us) with what they come up with.

Q. How do you feel about students taking a gap year? When is that decision usually made?

A. I am a great believer in the gap year. Students have been uniformly enthusiastic about their experiences. It often helps them focus on what they want to do in college, particularly academically. It is often our most successful students who take gap years because they are more independent and more likely to take initiative than their peers. Some of our least mature students might benefit even more from a gap year; they will need encouragement from their parents to consider such a plan. In terms of timing, most students apply to college as seniors and defer admission. Typically, they begin to develop a plan in January or February, after they have completed college applications. They do not notify colleges that they are considering a gap year until after they gain admission. Few apply to additional colleges during the gap year although many colleges would allow them to do that.

Q. What makes for a successful gap year?

A. The key to a successful gap year is to have a plan, oftentimes three different plans in two to three month chunks. Students can come up with some expensive ideas so it’s important to give them some financial parameters. Often, a student will live at home some of the time and earn money to fund the rest of the year.

Q. Marty, what advice do you have for the parents of the Class of 2013 as our children leave Deerfield for the wider world?

A. Come the fall parents should feel confident that their child is ready for college academically. Most DA graduates have already had some experience living on their own. If I were a parent of a child leaving for college, I think I would be most concerned about the social scene. It’s critical for you to have conversations with your child about how he/she wants to conduct himself/herself socially and sexually. Does your child have fears? What’s his stand on the use of drugs/alcohol? Does she want to reinvent herself in some way? Your child has successfully navigated Deerfield but college offers a great deal of free time relative to boarding school. Some of our graduates find themselves, initially, at loose ends. Talk with your child about how to get involved in his new community. What activities or organizations does she plan to pursue? How will he navigate his course selection? Who will she turn to for advice? One of the aspects of college life which sometimes surprises our students is how few adults are a regular part of their lives there. Faculty members will not routinely seek your child out so talk with her about how she might connect with adults who can be important mentors and guides. And, finally, be sure your child understands that freshman year does count. College days are likely to fly by as quickly as days at Deerfield; they are too precious (and too expensive!) to waste. I know that as I visit college campuses over the next few years I will find members of the class of ’13 thriving. Send them off with faith in their ability to succeed.

Exhilarating and exhausting. As the parent of any Deerfield graduate can tell you, those two words best describe Commencement Weekend.

The first time I attended a Deerfield Academy graduation was in May 2010. With no prior experience with this multi-day event, I was fortunate that the father of one of my son’s friends had traveled to DA the year before and, like a fly on the wall, quietly observed the activities as they unfolded. What he found, and what veteran parents already know, is that graduation and student move-out is a whirlwind of excitement, emotional farewells and packing up.

When asked to sum up his advice to parents of upcoming graduates, he said, “Plan ahead.” This is excellent advice: the sooner you can get started on anything from deciding who will attend, to making hotel and dinner reservations, to packing away no longer needed items, the better. A few other parents of former graduates also offered several tips for making the weekend flow more smoothly. Hopefully, this additional information will help to make your children’s last few days as Deerfield Academy students more enjoyable for everyone.

Things to Do Before Commencement Weekend

Reserve Lodging Early

Make room reservations well in advance. Seasoned Deerfield parents know that lodging in Deerfield and the surrounding area fills up early for the Memorial Day weekend. Since many hotels start taking reservations a year out, parents of juniors often check websites at the end of the school year to reserve their spot for the following year’s commencement. The Deerfield Inn takes reservations two years in advance, and Memorial weekend is the first to fill. You’ll find plenty of choices in the area by searching for rooms in the 01342 zip code, or checking DA’s Lodging page.

Send out Invitations and Announcements

Send out invitations and announcements promptly. By now, parents should have received a box of 10 invitations to Commencement 2013. In addition, many parents also like to send graduation announcements to friends and family who will not be attending commencement. Since announcements are not provided by Deerfield, the seal and door cannot be used. However, parents may use the DA logo to design and order their own announcements. You can find the logo on the Deerfield Parents Network site, in the news item titled “Logo for Commencement Announcements.”

Return your RSVPs

As noted in the letter that accompanies the Commencement invitations, guests should return RSVPs to the student’s parent, who will RSVP for the entire group by April 19th. Parents can return the form sent with the invitations or RSVP online. It is especially important that you know the number of guests who will be attending the Saturday night Senior Parent Dinner Dance. Your RSVP response will determine how many bracelets are made available to your party to provide admission to this event. Also note that if your guest list changes after your RSVP has been received, you can email events@deerfield.edu to make updates.

Make Friday Night Dining Plans

If you’d like to plan a Friday evening dinner with family, be sure to check the list of local dining establishments and call ahead to make your reservations. Keep in mind that there is a theater performance on Friday evening. If you decide to attend, you may not have time to leave campus.

Start Packing for Move-Out

Many parents told me that moving out was one of the most stressful experiences during commencement weekend. Graduates will be expected to be out of their room and off campus by 2 pm on Sunday. Since commencement is usually over around 11:45 am, you won’t have a lot of time to get everything done. To lighten the load on move-out day get packing supplies early, have your child box up what is no longer needed, and remove as much as you can before Sunday. If you plan to be on campus Spring Parents Weekend, this is a good time to get started.

Handicapped Seating

Handicapped seating is available under the tent. Be sure to make a note on the back of your RSVP if you or a guest wishes to sit in this area during commencement.

What to Bring for the Weekend

With the variety of activities going on over the weekend, you may want to bring a couple of different selections of semi-casual attire. Your commencement letter has a suggested dress code, which includes:

Awards Luncheon: casual

Senior Parent Dinner Dance: “festive” attire — no tie required

Commencement: coat/tie for men; women are usually in dresses or nice pants and top

Commencement Weekend

Once commencement arrives, relax and enjoy the weekend. The best way to do that is to know what to expect from each day. A few of the activities you’ll want to start out with are listed below.

Pick up your Registration Packet — When you arrive, pick up your registration packet in the Main School Building. This will contain the most current schedule of events, as well as bracelets required to attend the Senior Parent Dinner Dance (see below for more information about the dance).

Consult the Schedule — Even if you’ve been to a previous graduation, be sure to look at the schedule, read the letter mailed with commencement invitations, and then look for updates in the schedule provided during registration. Each year, things are done a little differently, and this is no exception.

Attend the Open House — Dr. Margarita Curtis, Deerfield’s Head of School, opens the weekend events with a reception at the Manse on Friday from 4 to 6 pm. This is a nice chance to catch up with friends while enjoying lemonade and cookies.

See the Play — Deerfield Academy’s last theater performance of the year is held during commencement week (this year, it will be Arthur Miller’s “All My Sons”). Shows start Tuesday and run through Saturday. If you arrive a day early, try to catch the Thursday evening performance.

Remember – It’s a Closed Weekend — While this is a wonderful opportunity to spend time with your child, remember this is their big weekend. Students enjoy those last few nights in the dorm, getting a chance to say “goodbye” to friends. Since all students are required to return to the dorm by 11 pm, be sure to allow enough time to get your child back before curfew.

Saturday Events

Get the most out of your last days on campus. Here are Saturday’s highlights:

Noon — Awards Luncheon — Since awards are given out both during this event, and earlier in the week, a program will be provided that notes all awards received by the students.

2:30 — Music and Dance — This event includes performances by several musical ensembles, including the Mellow-D’s, Rhapso-D’s, and Chamber Singers, as well as senior dance numbers to celebrate those students who have participated in the dance program.

4 pm — Theater — If you haven’t gotten a chance before Saturday, be sure to catch the last theater performance, held in the black box theater late Saturday afternoon.

7 pm — Senior Parent Dinner Dance — The Senior Parent Dinner Dance is a fun night to celebrate with the whole class, along with student families. The tent opens at 6 pm. There’s no reserved seating, but plenty of tables for everyone. Once the band starts playing, the evening is spent moving around, finding friends, dancing, and enjoying your child’s last day as a high school student. Remember that bracelets are required this year, and will only be in the registration packets of those who have RSVP’d. If you won’t get a chance to pick up your registration packet before Saturday night, let Jenny Hammond know and alternate arrangements can be made.

9:30 pm — Senior Class Meeting with Head of School — Expect to say goodbye to your child at 9:30 pm on Saturday when students will leave to attend their last senior class meeting. Also referred to as the “Senior Cry,” this is an opportunity for seniors to share fond memories from their years at Deerfield. This event often lasts late into the night, allowing every student who wants to share a story an opportunity to do so.

Day Student Evening Arrangements — DA encourages day students to stay on campus. Those who plan to go home should make arrangements with the Dean’s office ahead of time. Keep in mind that Massachusetts restricts drivers under the age of 18 from operating a motor vehicle between the hours of 12:30-5 am.

Commencement Day

Here’s what you can expect on Commencement Day.

Parking — There are always plenty of places to park. When you arrive on campus, follow the directions of security. Also, don’t forget that if you have any handicapped guests who will need extra help getting around, please note that in your RSVP.

Continental Breakfast — A continental breakfast will be available under the tent in front of the dining hall beginning at 9 am Some students may show up, but chances are you won’t see your child before graduation.

Commencement Tent Seating — The commencement tent opens at 9 am Sections will be set aside for graduating seniors, underclassmen, faculty, trustees, handicapped and other guests. No seats can be reserved. Anything left in an attempt to do so will be removed. Once you enter the commencement tent, ushers will be available to guide you to guest seating. Large screens at the front of the tent will provide you with the best view of the event, including the commencement walk down Albany Road.

The Walk down Albany Road — Graduating seniors line up on the lawn between the Field and McAlister dorms. At 10 am, they begin their procession down Albany Road, which will be broadcast on the screen in the tent. The path will be roped off and lined by undergraduate students. Guests are asked to be respectful of this journey, allowing plenty of room for the cavalcade to comfortably enter the tent.

Taking Photos and Video — What you see on the screen is also recorded, and videotapes will be available for ordering. There will be professional photographers on hand to get a shot of your children as they walk up, and when they receive their diploma. So, when the ceremony begins, sit back and relax. If you decide you want more photos, you can take shots from your seat or politely scoot to the end of the center aisle when your child walks back, diploma in hand, to his or her seat. After the ceremony, you will want a family photo in front of the Deerfield door.

Buffet Lunch — Commencement is usually over by 11:45 am, and a buffet luncheon is available to any and all who have attended. Keep in mind that seniors are expected to be off campus by 2 pm, so if you decide to stay and eat, and will be helping with the move out, eat quickly.

Farewells

In addition to sharing fond farewells with classmates, and thanking friends and relatives who have attended, both students and parents will want to say their goodbyes to faculty members. These adults have played such a central role in our children’s lives and are often the unsung heroes of graduation. Carving out time to thank and bid farewell to these folks is more than worthwhile. They will be lasting touchstones for our children in the years to come.

When life throws a curve ball, there is often a silver lining. As of April 1st, everyone involved with the renovations of the old inn can now focus on silver linings, as The Deerfield Inn and Champney’s Restaurant and Tavern are officially open for business and eager to accept your reservations.

In last spring’s update for The Link, Jane Howard, who manages The Deerfield Inn with her husband, Karl Sabo, plainly stated, “we are starting from scratch.” In August 2011, Hurricane Irene and its severe rains caused the Deerfield River to overflow, flooding the campus and the Deerfield Inn. Six feet of silt filled the basement and first floor rooms; the inn has been closed since then. Structural damage to the old inn was extensive, many pieces of furniture had to be thrown out and progress was hampered by “surprises and discoveries” when workers reached the original foundation dating back to 1884.

But, that is now all in the past and the staff at The Inn is looking forward to welcoming Deerfield Academy parents, “old” and new, to their beautifully renovated spaces. The Inn staff chose April 1st, with all its irony, for the public re-opening for Champney’s. For the past several weeks, the restaurant has hosted several “test nights” to give the kitchen and its wait staff trial run events to showcase the new menu, local beer offerings and extensive wine list. In addition to creating opportunities for feedback on the menu and customer service experience, these evenings created an opportunity for The Deerfield Inn to thank everyone in the community for their support during the past 18 months. The word on Main Street is that these evenings have been a rousing success. The “talented executive and sous chef and their A team of cooks” are offering an eclectic cuisine that showcases local produce. Two bartenders are waiting behind the beautiful new mahogany bar with its 12 taps and 18 bar stools for your order. There is an enormous sense of pride, empowerment and excitement for everyone who has been involved in this undertaking. In all of this, the staff at The Deerfield Inn have maintained their sense of humor, as Jane recently said that it only took “368 days to receive our certificate of occupancy.”

If you have missed eating at Champney’s this past year, you will be amazed when you see how the public spaces in the first floor of the Main Inn have changed. If you have never been able to sit at the bar, sip a glass of wine in a wing chair by the fire, or “grill” your child over dinner at the restaurant, you can do so today. Call Champney’s at 413-772-3087 or visit the new website today to see photos or make your reservations. They are open noon to 9 pm, seven days a week. You will be as wowed as a friend recently was when she peeked in and saw the difference between Champney’s then and Champney’s now. Jane said, “this bucked me up no end.”

As of today, the majority of the work in the Main Inn has concluded and the housekeeping and Inn staffs are completing the last finishing touches to each individual room and some of the public spaces. Carpets have been professionally cleaned, wallpaper has been repaired or replaced and guests will be able to enjoy all the new or restored furniture and antiques throughout the inn. At times it seemed almost impossible to believe they could get it all back together again, but a lot of determination and even more hard work prevailed. There will be a total of 24 rooms available in the Main Inn and Carriage House within the next two weeks (18 are available as of today), so please call 413-774-5587 to make your reservations. Jane, Marcie, Debbie and Helen are eager to welcome you back to the Deerfield Inn this spring. The inn’s new website will be up by the end of this month.

The Deerfield Inn has a wonderful and unique role on Main Street and in town. With the inn’s shuttering, tourism and attendance at many of the historic landmarks houses on Main Street has declined. As Phillip Zea, President of Historic Deerfield recently said, “Historic Deerfield has been on hold financially for the past 18 months.” It has not been the same without a functioning inn and it has been difficult to raise money without the main attraction. Phil would never have wished for the devastation to the local community and farmers and economy for the past 18 months, but the silver lining is a new and improved inn that is beckoning visitors back to town. Phil is now very confident that Historic Deerfield attendance will come back with The Inn’s reopening this spring and with that, its financial stability. If you have not visited the Asa Stebbins house, built in 1799 in the Federal Style, featuring neoclassical furnishings, you should.

Phil encourages all of us to explore the unique history of Deerfield on Main Street that dates back over 350 years. Membership for Historic Deerfield is $40 for an individual and $60 for a family (see historic-deerfield.org for details and visiting hours for houses and museums in town). After your tour, you can stop by the Inn for quick refreshment at the bar, have dinner with a loved one, and, if you call now, a room at The Inn.

About DPN

The Deerfield Parents Network (DPN) is an organization aimed at building partnerships among Deerfield parents, and between parents and the Academy. Schools like Deerfield no longer serve "in the place of parents," but rather "along side of parents." The goal of the Parents Network is to improve the Deerfield experience for all students and their families through several initiatives.