I try my best NOT to think of Britney Spears and I’m usually successful. In my not-so-humble opinion, she’s gone from laughable to pitiful to downright embarrassing. But somehow — no matter how hard I try to avoid it — the former pop star manages to squirrel her way into my conscious mind about once a month.

This month’s thought came earlier than usual with today’s report that Britney was hospitalized last night after allegedly refusing to hand over one of her kids. It’s a sad tale, and I must admit I felt a sympathy pang. This happens occasionally. But of course with Britney, as more details emerge, the soft spot usually turns into something more stomach churning.

Like during last month’s thought. I tried to think nice thoughts for Britney on her birthday. (I can’t help remembering the date because it’s the same as my brother’s. And since his kids are Brit fans, it’s become an anniversary I can’t escape.) But that was it: Happy Birthday — fleeting and fairly painless.

Until the next day when I opened my browser and couldn’t avoid the headlines about the birthday gifts she’d received: a $10,000 diamond and gold ring, various hair care products, $4,000 worth of sunglasses and $30,000 in fur coats.

Fur coats?

I certainly hope the MSNBC piece that reported the loot inadvertently left out the word “faux” before the other “F” word, but given Britney’s reported love of over-indulgence and lack of respect for anything (remember the Zac Posen dress she let her dog crap on?), I’m guessing the lip-syncher got the real thing.

Of course, given her history of scantily-cladness and repeated public flashing, it’s unlikely she’ll actually wear the fur, but that’s not the point.

But with a new month comes a new thought: and let’s hope Britney gets the help she needs and that she doesn’t commit any crimes against the planet during her hospitalization.