Tag Archives: Forgiveness

Dying sucks.

Clearly I’m not talking about a physical DEATH, even though that would be pretty cool since I am writing this. But I am talking about the many spiritual DEATHS we must take each and every day. Mainly DEATH to Pride.

Below is an excerpt from my very first blog post, from four years ago:

Four months ago I went on a Minister’s Retreat with my church, Blessed Harvest Institute, to the Blue Ridge Mountains. The name of the retreat was the Ridgecrest Conference Center. It was nestled in the mountains and exuded serenity. We arrived at about 10pm or so on a Thursday night and then had our first session at 2am on Friday morning. At the first session we were each asked what has our Ministry cost us so far.

My answer was ‘nothing’. I didn’t feel as if I had lost or really given up anything for Ministry at that point. We took part in some more sessions and activities. At the end of that Friday night, right before we went to dinner, we were each offered a stack of turned down words and asked to pull one. I pulled the word DEATH.

I wasn’t alarmed about my word because I am a homicide detective and I deal with death on a consistent basis. I actually thought my word would pertain to something about work. However, we were told not to assume we knew what the word meant and to be open. As we sat at dinner, God whispered in my ear that the word DEATH did not pertain to my job, it was about me.

Huh? He said I needed to die to me. Self had to die now! He couldn’t use me the way He wanted to because of me. I didn’t realize that I had become my own stumbling block. I had become complacent and didn’t realize it. Selfishness had crept in disguised as me. Me wanting Ministry to be comfortable, me not wanting to be rejected, me not wanting to be inconvenienced, me not trusting Him, me concerned about what others thought, me wanting my desires met; me me me. DEATH to me!

When we are offended, or as we put it, ‘bothered’ with someone, something, or some situation, we hardly take the time to take a step back and see what we are contributing to the situation. And, even when we do we typically find a way to justify the stance or actions we’ve taken.

What happens when that thought flashes or someone says:

‘you could have handled that a different way’

‘it’s not about YOU’

‘why don’t you apologize?’

‘it doesn’t matter who did what first’

‘stop rehearsing it, because you are keeping it alive’

‘it’s not worth it’

‘forgive’

It’s been a while since I wrote. Literally a year to the day. Much has changed. God has blessed our family with a new baby girl and I am truly walking in His favor.

This morning he reminded me of this word because it wasn’t just relevant on that retreat four years ago. It will be a constant process in my life. And as I draw closer to Him, He will continually show me the things that have to DIE for me to be in His presence.

Today I want to boldly tell you that it’s not worth your soul to be unforgiving. There is no need to live in strife and tension. We must address situations quickly before they start festering and then stinking. It’s not worth your peace.

We can have peace at home, peace at work, peace at church, peace wherever we go because most of all we can have peace on the inside.

Is God enough? How dare I ask such a question?

We are studying a new book for bible study and it is on WORSHIP.

Worship being ‘anything we value or ascribe worth to’.

We are really getting to the bottom of ‘what’ or ‘who’ we worship. We may all say that we are worshiping God, but in actuality when we take a look at where the bulk of our time, money, energy and attention goes…….we may come to another conclusion.

Some of us worship our families, our jobs, our possessions and ourSELVES.

Last week, in the book, we got to discussing Psalm 16. In it David is talking about his trust and security in God. He is thoroughly satisfied to dwell IN God. Choosing to experience pleasures found with God rather than elsewhere.

But what happens when we don’t feel like God is enough, because we’ve had so many pleasurable experiences ‘outside’ of God? I’m not just talking about sexual experiences, I’m talking about those of us that are foodies/gluttonous, shopaholics, selfish, vain, lazy etc…….even those of us who are workaholics.

I really got to thinking about it. Even though most of us would not outright say that God is not enough, I would argue that our actions say it.

I’ll pick one thing……unforgiveness.

When we hold on to unforgiveness, we choose something that pleasures us and not what pleasures God. Are we saying that God is not ‘enough’ to handle the wrong (s) done against us? Perhaps we are…..

Anyway, just the words in my thinking cap for today. We are all somewhere in the process of being more like Christ.

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About me

Hi everyone, I am a native of Guyana, South America, but I currently reside in the USA. I love God and I want everyone to taste and see that He is good. Nothing has had more of a lasting impact on me than the spoken and written Word of God. I pray to share that with you.

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I am a freelance Photographer born and raised in the Southeast. I have uprooted my life in Macon Georgia for a new life as an unlikely cowgirl in love with a handsome cowboy in Wyoming. I hope you enjoy my photo journal on life, love, and the spirit of Wyoming.