Thin Watches: Watch Snob

Thin Watches: Watch Snob

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The Watch Snob issues a decree on ultra-thin watches and explains why a man still needs a watch in the iPhone era.

The Watch Snob is in.

You may think you know watches, but let's be real -- you just don’t. Let me, a true horological aficionado, enlighten your plebeian minds as to what makes a real watch, what you should wear when and what to do with those old watches of yours. All the opinions expressed by the Watch Snob are my own, and are just that -- opinions. Don’t worry, though, AskMen will still be bringing you great features on interesting watches to buy, both old and new, expensive and cheap. For now, let the Watch Snob reign.

Mr. Watch Snob,

I want these four things in my watch: quality, history, classic design, and thinness. Is the Jaegar LeCoultre Master Grande Ultra Thin the perfect watch for me?

It just may be, yes. Jaeger LeCoultre makes wonderful watches, but if you’re looking for something in the ultra-thin lines, you’d be remiss in not at least perusing Audemars Piguet’s Jules Audemars Extra Flat and the Piaget Altiplano. In fact, Piaget’s ultra-thin movements may in fact be best suited for you. Their 43mm Altiplano is really a modern classic, and they’ve sold out the world over. Take a look, you just may be surprised by how much you like them.

Hello Watch Snob,

What is your feeling about Breitling watches? I believe they utilize an “in-house” movement, are Certified Chronometers and have other unique characteristics.

If I had to describe my feelings toward Breiting in one word, it would be a resounding “Meh.” To be clear, most of their watches do not use in-house movements. In fact, the vast majority of Breitling use ETA/Valjoux movements, just like Franck Muller. They have released an impressive chronograph movement in the past year or two, but it has only been rolled out to one or two models, including the Chronomat -- the ugliest watch they make. So, if you want to spend $8,000 (roughly the same as you would on the Rolex Daytona!) on an ugly Breitling, then sure, you can get one with an in-house movement. I will say, even though it uses an ETA movement, I have nothing but love for Breitling’s Navitimer. That, dear reader, is the Breitling you want.

question from a watch knob

Hi Watch Snob,

I read your column every week and you’ve yet to address one very real concern with watches these days: Why even bother? You have an iPhone, don’t you? (You seem like the Apple fanboy type.)

An iPhone? What is this, 2007? I gave up on Apple’s phone once they dropped the price below $600. Now I use a Vertu at home and a Ulysse Nardin Chairman (look it up) when abroad.

To answer your question -- one that the sartorially and financially burdened class of people often bring to my attention -- a watch is much more than simply a time-telling device. It is a living and breathing extension of one’s self. A mechanical watch is one part function, one part art, one part history book, and one part style. An iPhone will eventually die, as will a quartz watch, but a mechanical watch can run forever, as long as you keep it on your wrist. So what’s the point? The point is that a watch is much more than what you deem it to be.