Putting Yourself First & Making Unselfish Selfish Decisions

When was the last time you put yourself first?

For the vast majority of us modern day women, we live in a world of responsibility, be it at work or at home. Whether that be as mothers, girl bosses, managers, girlfriends, you name it, we’ve got the schedules, the to-do lists, the responsibilities and the accountability for it all and don’t even get me started on the guilt.Have I done this right? Does this look correct? What if this happens? Should I have done this differently? What if I don’t have enough time? Is this my fault?

I’m sure we’ve all been there and got the t-shirt at some point in our adult lives. We spend so much time during the day revolving around other people and what they’re doing that its often easy to forget about what we’re doing, how we feel and what we want to make happen in our own lives.Its natural that we’re going to prioritise thinking about the needs of those we love but what about our needs, loving ourselves and prioritising ME?

Sure, we all need to get our work done, take care of others and all the rest of it but we need to look after ourselves too both mentally and physically. Sometimes that means prioritising your happiness because yes ladies, you are allowed to be happy!

I realised in recent years that I had given up a lot of my happiness in order to please other people and while that might be the kind or right thing to do in some circumstances, if you apply it to everything in life you can end up feeling really unfulfilled and can lose a sense of who you are.

Life is hard and it throws things at us that makes it easy to become stressed, anxious or to feel as though we cannot cope or are unhappy and if we don’t do anything about it then it can lead us down a slippery slope.

The truth is; no one is going to wave a magic wand, give you the life you want and make you truly happy.The only person who can do that is you.

Sometimes self care and finding your happiness its all about taking a step back, looking at where you’re at in your life and where you want to be. Finding out what will make you happy and how you can put it into action. You need to make the decision for you and only you because prioritising your wellbeing is essential, not selfish.

Perhaps its that you’d like to say no to a project you really feel as though you should say yes to. Maybe you really want to go travelling but you know there’ll be people you’ll leave behind who will be worried and miss you. It could even be that you’d like to take up a new hobby but it’ll involve taking a little money away from the family disposable income, not to mention the time away from home and routine.

The decisions that affect those we love as well as ourselves can be the hardest to make but its important to remember that if you’re making them with a good heart, the best intentions and based on something that will really make you happy then the people in your life should support you because you deserve to be happy just as much as those you love do.

Loving and caring for others, doesn’t mean that you can’t love and care for yourself too. In fact, those you love will benefit from you finding your happiness. Energy is so powerful; if you’re feeling positive and happy, it has the power to lift others around you but at the same time, if you’re feeling negative and sad, it can zap the energy from even the happiest of people.

Don’t give up your happiness all of the time just to make others happy. YOU matter and your happiness is important too.

Sometimes you need to regroup, look after number one and be as kind to yourself as you are to others.

The best thing that you can do for yourself and subsequently your loved ones, is to be as happy in mind, body and spirit as you can be, in whatever way that looks like for you. If that means taking a little bit of time out for you, then so be it. Feeling over worked, stressed, anxious and exhausted can have a terrible impact on your physical and mental health.

I know that whenever I’m feeling that way, it tends to be when I’m burning the candle at both ends trying to keep going and going, my immune system is low and then I end up with a raging sore throat and a full blown cold for a week which isn’t going to benefit me or anyone around me and only adds to my stress levels and feeling like I cannot cope.

This is a viscous circle and the only way to break it is by looking after yourself first thats why making decisions that will impact your happiness isn’t selfish, its a necessity!

We all need good rest so that we can enjoy the beautiful moments in life and we all need personal development so that we can learn and grow as people. Realising this has led me down a path that I am very excited about.

I recently made a decision that’s going to fling me head first into a personal journey of self discovery! It’ll challenge me and push me so far out of my comfort zone but while I’m nervous about it, I’m so excited! This is the first time that I’ve made a decision like this, a purely unselfish, selfish decision about my life, my happiness and my future and it feels AMAZING!

I’ll be sharing a bit about my journey next month as it all kicks off on 1st May…

So go ahead, make those decisions girls! Break barriers, live your life & love it!

9 Comments

Di Hickman

May 15, 2018 / 6:07 am

I relate to this post so much! You don't even know how relevant it is. Literally FRIDAY last week I had a massage. My first in WAY too long. Realized how much I needed it and signed up for a monthly membership on the spot. It's an indulgence but a needed indulgence. #mefirst

This post is so full of positivity 🙂 I totally know the "burning the candle at both ends" feeling, I do it all too often and have to learn to say no to things so I have some time for myself! Thanks for giving me some inspiration. Love you outfit too, especially those shoes! <3

I can't wait to hear what you've decided to do. Being unselfishly selfish is a real struggle for me – particularly as a parent where you're kind of programmed to put your kids first no matter how ropey you feel.

It took me a very long time and I mean years to finally realise that looking after yourself wasn’t selfish but indeed important to helping those around you. It’s harder to make time for myself with a little one around but gym time helps me get a break. Good luck with the direction you go in x