How to Talk to a Guy You Like: 14 Ways to Stop Being a Wallflower

Having a crush on a guy and daydreaming about him is the easy *and fun* part. But we’re gonna show you how to talk to a guy you like.

To this day, I can carry a conversation with almost any guy that stands in front of me. That’s not the problem. But isn’t that how it usually works? The guys you’re not interested in, you have no problem being yourself around and chit-chatting away. The real lesson is in how to talk to a guy you like.

When it comes to a guy you think is super cute or sexy, you suddenly have lost all words. You stutter, your tongue gets twisted as you ramble on, tripping over your words. You think this doesn’t happen to me? Oh, it does. And when it does, it’s tragic.

How to talk to a guy you like

When my friends see me stuttering and sweaty, they try to help me out, but it’s too late. I’ve already fallen too deep into daydreaming about being with this guy. But for the past couple years, I’ve worked on the way I speak to a guy I like. Let me tell ya, it’s not easy. Most of the time I just want to drool and stare at them while they speak. I have to look confident to give off the illusion that I’m not head over heels for them. Sometimes I’m so obvious even my mother can tell.

So, it’s time you learned how to talk to a guy you like, that way, you actually have a conversation with him. At least one that doesn’t consist of you giggling the entire time. You can do it, ladies, just think of how nervous they are.

#1 Stop focusing your attention on what he’s thinking about. I know you worry about what he’s thinking, but you shouldn’t be. This is the first thing to do! If you want to be as relaxed and comfortable as possible, stop thinking about what he’s thinking. It doesn’t matter. If he doesn’t like your thoughts or opinions, he’s not the one for you.

#2 Don’t lie. This is just because I don’t want you creating all these lies about yourself just for him to like you. Plus, you have to keep up with all the lies you make, which is not an easy task. So, just be honest. This isn’t for him, it’s for you. I know you want to tell him what he wants to hear, but if it’s not honest then don’t say it. And plus, no one likes a liar.

#3 Let him talk about himself. If you have nerves talking to him, the best thing to do is ask him a question about himself. People love talking about themselves, so it gives you some time to relax and gather information about him.

The best way to do this without looking like an interviewer is by asking open-ended questions. Meaning, questions that cannot be answered with only a yes/no reply. For example, if in class together you can ask him, “What do you think about this group assignment we have to do?”

#4 Laugh. Everyone likes to be around people who they share a laugh with. In addition, it helps you relax once you laugh together. Now, if you’re not a jokester, that’s okay. Sarcasm and dry humor are also really funny. If he says something funny—laugh. If you say something, laugh as well. Why not?

#5 Flirt it up, girl! There’s nothing wrong with flirting. In fact, it’s what builds the sexual tension between two people.

If you like him, flirting doesn’t hurt. Smile at him, give him a playful wink, touch his arm when he says something funny. These non-verbal cues show him you’re interested in him, and if he’s into you, he’ll most likely flirt with you back.

#6 Talk about what interests you. There’s nothing more interesting than talking to someone about a particular topic which they’re passionate about. You see the light in their eyes and the burst of energy they get when they start talking. Now, if you’re really passionate about something, there’s nothing wrong with sharing it with him. He sees where your passions lie and that can be a huge turn on.

#7 Communicate on a regular basis. If possible, that is. This helps you relax and become comfortable around that person. Also, by frequent communication, you get to know each other on a deeper level, discussing topics which aren’t just considered “small talk.” And at the end of the day, that’s what you want.

#8 Communicate on social media. Now, usually, I’m against heavy communication on social media. However, it can be used in a positive way to help break the ice. Everyone loves memes, so if you tag him in a funny one, it shows him that you’re comfortable with him. Thus, he shares memes and funny posts with you as well. Now, what you don’t want to happen is you only end up communicating via social media.

#9 Don’t over-text him. You know exactly what I mean. If he doesn’t reply to you in five minutes, don’t send him another and another text message. Leave him alone, he’ll reply. If he doesn’t reply in a day or two, then text him again.

If you over-text someone, it’s flat out annoying and becomes a huge turn-off. But if you notice he’s not replying or giving you one-word answers, he’s probably not interested in you.

#10 Don’t force the conversation. I know you want the conversation to flow magically, and then you immediately fall in love, but it may not happen that way. Some people take longer to warm up to others. He could be nervous, or he could not be interested in you. But don’t force conversation. If he wants to keep the conversation going, he’ll say something or ask a question.

#11 Use mutual interests as a way to hang out. If you just found out he hasn’t seen the new Star Wars, that’s great because neither have you. Maybe you could go see it together. Boom, I just landed you a night out with the guy you like. See? It wasn’t that hard to do. But, I recommend waiting until you are on friendly terms before you suggest a hang out.

#12 Avoid ex-related topics. Yeah, no one wants to talk about past failed relationships at least not at this stage. You don’t want him to start talking about his ex in front of you either. Why? Because then you change the relationship from a possible love interest to a therapist. Once you’ve become their therapist it’s a hard spot to get out of.

#13 Just be yourself. I cannot emphasize this enough. Understanding how to talk to a guy you like means you need to be yourself. Don’t try to change your interests or sense of humor just to suit him. No, no, no! It never lasts if you do this. Be yourself, laugh at things you find funny, talk about things that interest you, and give him a real idea of who you are. If he doesn’t like it, it’s his problem.

#14 If he’s not into you, it’s okay. Listen, you may do everything right, but the fact is, he’s just not that into you. I know, no one wants to hear that, but the sooner you accept that, the better it is for you. Now go after another guy, someone who may like you back. This doesn’t have anything to do with you. You don’t need to lose weight or change your hair—you just aren’t compatible.

Now that you know how to talk to a guy you like, there’s no reason why you can’t carry a conversation with him and have him fall for you. You can do it!