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Shutting down, perhaps?

Back in April and May, I was in the hospital and the therapist there, who was excellent, had me working on past issues. I thought they wouldn't bother me because I had talked about them before, but she had a way of getting into the issues in depth and it really had me down and experiencing symptoms as a result...flash backs mostly, but also crying spells which is so weird for me because I never cry about things no matter how upset or sick I am. Anyway...

When I got out of the hospital, my meds were not right and I was totally manic for a few days. Then my meds were straightened out to where they were supposed to be. After blowing a thousand bucks, getting a speeding ticket for driving 95mph, and totaling my car, I went down for a bit, and now, here I am feeling nothing really.

I have no emotion really as of late. Every day, I go visit at my parent's and little brother's house and stay there for most of the day. At night, I come back home but unlike almost every night I was experiencing, I have no urges to cut, no anger, no destruction, no happiness, no anxiety, nothing. It's like I'm just neutral about everything. I don't feel anything anymore, it seems. I am supposed to start going more often to a program called Project Addvance, but I'm not going to. That has been the one thing that has had me somewhat angry, but thats all. I refuse to work with them because they have done nothing for me yet, and are very unprofessional in how they run things.

Anyway, that's how I am for now. Could it be possible I have simply shut down? Have I shut down just before I was about to go back into my past and work through the issues? Any of you going through something similar?

Yes, it could possibly be the medication, maybe not completely, but it could be playing a major role in the numbness. Recently, my psychologist began working with another therapist I see who is closer to where I live and can keep a closer eye on me. My psychologist told the therapist/LCSW that I show no emotion whatsoever, and my LCSW agreed. I had no idea they both saw that in me. I never would have guessed it then. I mean, I could see it now, but not any farther back. Apparently, I've never showed any or much emotion.

A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...

theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??

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