Saturday, May 31, 2014

It has been two weeks since I went through yet another horrific ordeal brought about by some risky behavior. Let me just say though that I have been significantly careful since my last test, but I do understand that it still didn't completely eliminate the risks--not that I intend to live a saintly life anytime soon.

I'm grateful and happy about the result but I think it's a continuous battle. I've had the tendency to get really paranoid especially since a friend recently admitted to being positive (it was actually what really pushed me to finally check my status again), but I think you can't be too cautious, can you? Or do you risk missing out? There's a part of me that is convinced I should just totally avoid getting myself in risky situations but another part of me believes that I should live to the fullest and that involves taking risks.

In any case, it's good to always remember that no one is worth the trauma of not just the ailment itself but also the major mind-fuck that comes with getting tested knowing that you didn't protect yourself enough. Going there, Facetime-ing with family who were oblivious about the shit I was going through, while waiting for the result, was not fun at all--one of the most horribly surreal moments in my life.