Friday, July 24, 2009

I'm not sorry until you're sorry

I find it hard to apologize when I think someone else should first. Which happens around 99% of the time an apology is really needed.

Why? Because I'm stubborn about stupid things.

Case one: In the streets of Venice, my father is blathering on about something that I have to change that I don't care for. So, instead of talking it out like a reasonable family (see the problem here? Reasonable) I stop walking and refuse to move until my demands are met. The father, equally stubborn, keeps on walking, making a showdown of stubbornness. minutes tick by as they stroll out of sight, and I begin making plans to walk back alone. Eventually, I win. My demands are met, and neither my father nor I are sorry. Mostly because he wasn't sorry first.

Case two: Yesterday, my father demanded I get a job. Of course, I had been thinking the same thing as of late, but if he was going to demand something, and then ramble on about how I do nothing all day, I would do the opposite. This eventually degrades into how he never says anything nice (it's true. 91% average? "Pretty good") or listens to me and etc etc. Concludes in "Maybe I just won't talk to you ever again." Followed by spending the rest of the night pointedly ignoring the questions he's asking.

"But Shiying, why are all these stories about your dad?"

Because I don't fight with anyone else. Most of the friends I've had can agree that they have never had a significant conflict with me. I don't fight much with my mom; I do fight with my brother, but that's usually of the "Stop spitting on me!" variety. Only my dad is as stubborn as me, and having two people with conflicting ideas but, both convinced they are right, together ends exactly as you think it would, no?

Moral of the story? I'm not sure, but I bet it has something to do with stubbornness and all that jazz.