Crampsmas

Yes, it’s true. All I got for Christmas so far is shark week with spine snapping cramps. Happy fucking holidays to me. To top it off when I took my meds earlier they made me semi manic and dizzy then I came crashing down into “look at me funny and I will stab your eye with a spork” territory.

I was going to dye my hair, cover the roots, take a shower, bother to look nice…

Now…fuck that shit. I have on proper undergarments, pants, and a sweater. I even went festive with socks that have reindeer on them.

That’s me making an effort. I am hurting in spite of Tylenol so the whole night will be miserable for me even if there’s no family drama.

Let’s just get this 2015 shit over already. This has been the shittiest year I’ve had in ages. My cats dying, my meds all over the place, the Latarda incident, the flubolapoisoning…

Now I am hurting and grumpy and of course, idget family will make it about them and how I just hate Christmas and I’m ruining it by not jumping up and down joyfully when truth is…just sitting up is grueling, let alone putting on the happy face.

In an effort to cheer myself up, I’ve been watching season one of The Pretender. (I own all four seasons.) It’s such a good show so of course it had to be canceled. The one thing on TV that gave me hope in mankind…Yeah, it’s fiction but what a dream it’d be to discover someone as kind as Jared.

there wasn’t any room in the driveway with the earthmovers parked there. I left a glitter-coated barbed wire wrapped harpoon for the sharks and some whiskey in the mailbox for you to exorcise those demon cramps when the humongous pain killers and benzos run out. If shark week is over you can celebrate with Jack D., he likes to be included in celebratory events. Or medicinal ones.

Whenever your shark week comes, mine shortly follows. This isn’t good news. I could have sworn I was just visited by Bloody Mary. Geez. WTB pause button for this.

Sorry for the family drama and just general shit we endure as dwellers of this planet we share with common people. It sucks. 2016 will bring trips to Pluto. I’ve been working this out with the gremlin engineers.