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I'll let most any LGBT person get by with using just about any of those words. I get my hackles up over very few of them. Personally, I don't like "queen" but I really can't tell you why. LOL I think "faggot" is derogatory no matter who utters it. When one gay person calls another a faggot, I believe it's a slur referring to that person as an undesirable gay person.

Coming from a straight friend, I'll probably let them get by with something as harsh as "queer" and I'll probably say something over "faggot" or "dyke" or the like. But most of your "true" gay-friendly straights know where the line is anyway.

I can't stand to hear any of those terms coming from a homo-bigot.

Truthfully, the term I think I hate most is "homosexual". It's been made to sound SO dirty by those crazy fundamentalists - ho-mo-SEK-shool. It makes my skin crawl.

Yes, I think making these distinctions is silly, but I do it. I can't explain why it's OK in any rational and reasonable way. It just is. I suppose it comes from that same place as with African-Americans and the N-word.

I suppose sociologists would likely say it's a way of an oppressed minority to "take back" the hateful words used to oppress them. Though from sociologists, it would take a book to say it. :)

I prefer 'bear' and will happily accept 'gay'. I don't mind the word 'queer' when employed as an adjective (ie, 'queer male' or 'queer culture') but rather dislike that word when employed as a noun (ie, 'a queer', 'bunch of queers', etc).

I detest words like 'faggot', 'poof', 'pooftah', etc, and don't regard attempts to adopt or reclaim these words (even jokingly) as worthy of effort.

For what it's worth, I don't mind using constructions like 'MSM' or 'M4M' but hardly ever encounter them except in written form. Sometimes I will refer to myself as a "man's man", with a smile and/or a wink, but that remark is not always properly understood, unless appropriate context has been established.

I'm good with gay and lesbian. I agree with the other commentor that Queer has to be used correctly - and usually by someone else from the community. I'm slowly coming to terms with queer - that and faggot were the terms hurled at me as a youth, so I tend to disapprove of them.