How many relationships have a big age gap?

So they are attuned to looking for a partner who will also invest resources into a relationship and family. In couples with an age gap it's more likely the woman is younger. This is probably because women place more importance on resources and men on fertility. But because the building of resources takes time, we tend to acquire resources later in life and so are older by the time we have acquired enough wealth and resources to comfortably provide for others.

So, women being attuned to status and resources might explain why some women may be attracted to older men. In contrast, there's evidence to suggest men value attractiveness and vitality more than women because, from an evolutionary standpoint, youth is seen as an indicator of fertility. Given men cannot bear children, evolution suggests they're attuned to younger women to enhance the chances of partnering with someone who can provide children. But the evolutionary explanation is limited in that it doesn't explain why the reverse occurs an older woman-younger man pairing , or why age gaps exist within same-sex couples.

With more women now working in higher positions and being paid more, they no longer have such a reliance on men for resources. So, fewer women will prioritise resources when looking for a mate. As for same-sex couples, there's very little research. Some suggest a lack of , or a reduced pool of, suitable age-similar mates may bring about same-sex coupling with large age differences. Many people assume age-gap couples fare poorly when it comes to relationship outcomes. But some studies find the relationship satisfaction reported by age-gap couples is higher.

These couples also seem to report greater trust and commitment and lower jealousy than similar-age couples. Over three-quarters of couples where younger women are partnered with older men report satisfying romantic relationships.

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A factor that does impact on the relationship outcomes of age-gap couples is their perceptions of social disapproval. That is, if people in age-gap couples believe their family, friends and wider community disapprove of their union, then relationship commitment decreases and the risk of break-up increases.

These effects appear to apply to heterosexual and same-sex couples. So the negative outcomes for age-gap couples seem to reside not in problems within the couple, but in pressures and judgments from the outside world. Another factor at play may have to do with the stage of life each partner is experiencing.

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For instance, a year gap between a year-old and a year-old may bring up different challenges and issues than for a year gap where one partner is 53 and the other is This is because our lives are made up of different stages, and each stage consists of particular life tasks we need to master.

And we give priority to the mastery of different tasks during these distinct stages of our lives. So when each member of a couple straddles a different life stage, it may be difficult for the couple to reconcile each other's differing life needs and goals. The success of a relationship depends on the extent to which partners share similar values, beliefs and goals about their relationship; support each other in achieving personal goals; foster relationship commitment, trust and intimacy; and resolve problems in constructive ways.

These factors have little do with age. So the reality is, while an age gap may bring about some challenges for couples, so long as couples work at their relationship, age should be no barrier.

Gery Karantzas is an associate professor in social psychology and relationship science at Deakin University. This piece first appeared on The Conversation. First posted April 20, If you have inside knowledge of a topic in the news, contact the ABC. ABC teams share the story behind the story and insights into the making of digital, TV and radio content. Read about our editorial guiding principles and the enforceable standard our journalists follow.

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They have no idea what it was really like to have a doddering old fogey president who joked about bombing the Soviet Union and diddled while people died of AIDS. Or how to make a budget. Or how not to get arrested for drinking too much.

Many of them have no clue about universal relationship boundaries. I realized later he was keeping her as a back-up. We had many arguments about this girl, as she seemed to be completely obsessed with him. He had a drinking problem, and that was the one insurmountable obstacle. I got a little tired of having to be the sober, responsible one who ends up talking police out of arresting my boyfriend when he went off on a bender.

Why couples with big age gaps are happier, despite the social disapproval

For every life lesson you teach them, you learn something in return. Although it may not be what you expect. One of the funnest things about dating younger is staying up to speed with youth culture. When you hang out with younger people, you start to see things with their eyes, which is very cool. As for my family.. I was a goth back in college. I travelled across the country twice. Dating someone nearly 20 years younger barely elicited a reaction from people who know me. But overall, they were very accepting, while also being understandably concerned about the emotional damage such relationships might cause when they ended.

I know there are never any guarantees.

Knowing there was an expiration date on these liaisons made them that much more intense. This is why my last relationship ended, ultimately.

Does Age Difference Really Matter?;

how to deal with dating a shorter man.

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This may sound strange, but it kind of turns me on to think about my exes telling stories as they age about the crazy times they had with that older woman, back in their 20s. Just like I would tell them about the wild things I did when I was their age. Sign in Get started.