Monday, June 27, 2005

Angry = Indicative of or resulting from anger: an angry silence Feeling or showing anger; incensed or enraged

Disappointed = Thwarted in hope, desire, or expectation.

this are two different feelings with miles of differences..

before i continue with this posting, i would like to mention that i wasn't angry with anyone due to the upsetting weekend that have juz passed.. but, of course, there were feelings of disappointment.. ya...

if u have misinterpreted my meanings, my sincere apology to u..

besides apologies for those who mis-interpreted.. i would also like to apologize to my major project groupmates.. din expect things to turn out the way they did during the weekend.. but, oh well, at least we spent a "fruitful" sunday @ mac.. hehehe..

now, to further elaborate.. for those involved in the sat. event, plz do not have the idea whereby i m angered or whatsoever.. of course, anger, that was definitely there.. but, its not pointed to any individual... i was angered by the disappointment of a cancelled outing.. if u felt offended, please refer back up..

sometimes, i might sounds incoherent during my posts to the blog.. disclaimer note, all posts in this blog are juz mere immediate thoughts which i have whenever i m blogging.. which comes to show, that, most of the posting juz came outta spontaneity.. it has no intention to make any personal attacks or any kind of that nature to any individual..

AND, what i can assure u pple is that EVERY postings in this blog are the first hand thoughts in my mind.. with no editing of words, the posting might juz fall off the message i m trying to put through.. if such case arises, all i can say is, u have got everything wrong..

last but not least, all i wanna say is, i would rather have a friend more than an enemy... so, dun get the wrong idea..

m feeling slpy.. due to the two hrs of slp i had the night before.. gonna simply fall alsp while typing.. u guys take care bah..

why muz always like that one? as in, organise an outing, dun even bother to update pple on the timing and location? what kinda outing is this like that?

abit sian one lor.. in fact.. is damn sian lor..

dun think i can blame anyone for that.. but, at least let pple know wheres the outing at and what time to meet mah.. why muz ask here ask there de? wheres the organizer? ok.. dun even know who lor.. until i ask around, then i realise who the organizer is lor..

yesterday wasn't a good day to me.. dun even know if i can count it as a day or otherwise.. everything i did ended up with disasterous results.. everyone pointing fingers at me.. all i can say, what a bad day it was!!!

i also realised that i have been backstabbed.. always the case.. but, this time round, i see it as a very serious one.. stop spreading words about me lor.. i know you ain't happy abt who n what i m.. and, u are trying ways n means to distort truthz.. din realise this is how vicious u can be.. till yesterday.. althought i can act as if nothing have happened... but, ur actions make me utterly disappointing.. seriously.. i think u shld be backstabbed before u can realise how bad backstabbing others can be.. call me names or spread words about me.. do it the way u like.. u have ur own ways of doing things.. while i have my.. its now up to the pple u spread words to into believin' what u said.. as i have said.. am really disappointed to see the way u are acting now.. really hope u can "fan xing, fan xing" abit..

hope u can be a better person when u do it..

ooo.. btw, went to watch Initial D yesterday night.. ok lor.. not so bad lor.. but, it seems to be a trend whereby movies with well-known actors in it are always abit.. err.. abit, not up to standard one.. maybe their names covered up for the show well and became the level of satisfaction for the viewer.. conclusion, juz look at the actors enough liao.. not the show..

moreover, they emphasized too much on the drifting part.. always talking abt drifting... as if racing is all about drifting.. hahaha.. believe it or not.. toyota winning an evolution... hahaha.. ridiculous.. lead actor doing one-hand driving while racing against an opponent with a vehicle much more powerful than his.. hahhaa.. funny lor.. :D

Friday, June 24, 2005

ok.. seriously, i know.. i also understand.. many of my friends around me know about this.. ya.. i admit.. i was suffering from depression for the past few days.. was so depressed till one of my lecturer felt it.. bleahz..

oh well, its a phrase everyone have to pass by.. yeapz.. dun worry.. i was juz a passer-by of it.. not a long term stayer..

ok.. promise! will be better for the next few days! a promise is always a promise.. hehehe.. will try to stay by it.. !

yeah! its weekend le! or rather, about to weekend le! hhahaha.. wonder if that daniel is booking out.. or, suffering his first confinement ever since he was posted into SISPEC(Suffer In Silence Plus Extra CONFINEMENT!) loL... :D

so many stuffs on hand now.. got projects.. blah blah blah... grr... and, getting poorer day after day.. someone.. find me a job bah... ! the best, a job which allows me to slack while working.. ahhaha.. will love u for that.. :D

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

err.. support.. support is an action which can be either in moral or physical that are usually shown by others.. thats what i perceive from this word.. which i m greatly i need of...

ok.. to date, theres only 1 person who is supportive of what i m doing now... the odds are pretty against it.. but still, i really appreciate this person for supporting me when others are lookin' down on my decision.. of coz.. the deciding figure in this decision is also lookin' down on it..

hahaha.. so, ya.. whats the point of carrying on.. ? fine.. even my best friend is finding me irritating.. hahaha.. thanks hor, daniel.. for ur "loud" support when we were on our way back from marina.. hahaha.. will remember de lor.. kuku u... =X

ok.. recently, m feeling rather depressed.. juz feel that i m thinking too much.. so much, that it feels pretty hurting somehow.. this hurt.. is so unique.. till an extent whereby i dun know how to heal it.. or stop it.. hmmm.. maybe, the usual antidote, time, will do its magic on me again.. hahaha.. hopefully it won't take long..

like what the others have been saying.. once u lose the feeling, everything will be fine.. the sun will shine again! zhen de mah? will a sun shine in the midst of a thunderstorm? a thunderstorm which seems to be lasting forever... grrr..

never had such a strong feeling before.. never... and when i say never, it means N-E-V-E-R... hahaha.. sounds stern? yea.. it is.. truthfully... ! hope this is a challenge to me.. make me a stronger man bah! hahaha..

went back to Chan Bros today.. gotten my pay.. everyone claims that i m rich le.. but, they never know.. how poor i was before i got my pay.. and, i can foresee an even worser case when time passes... coz i din even worked on June!!! how to survive !?!?! and, July no more check in!!! how !?!?! food rationing liao lor.. ho seh liao lor... anyone have a good part time job for an no experience guy like me? can recommend?? cham ah... *hopefully money will juz fall on me...* don't worry.. i will spend it before it drowns me.. hahaha.. *craps*

now, i feel like going to the beach and walk.. walk down the cold and calm beach.. think about whats happening.. hopefully, a decision can come in juz like how this feeling came to me.. ending it like the sudden entry of it into my life.. making sure my heart wont sanction any decision to end it.. blah blah blah.. aiyah.. this is full of ups and downs... making me feel extreme... making me extremely happy.. and then putting me through the extreme downs... hahaha.. very exciting.. n torturing!

Sunday, June 19, 2005

hahaha.. finally.. got my hands on the machine.. oh well, was so happy.. finally get to punch something.. legally, that is.. =P

so happy punching the machine till i almost sprained my fist.. hahhaa.. is there such a thing as sprain fist?? but, my fist portion was like feeling pretty sore.. but, its okay now.. lucky.. if not.. i will probably need to go see the irritating doctors again.. din really have a good impression towards doctors.. especially those GEs @ big hospitals like TTSH... waited like 3hrs for a doc.. and spoke to him for abt 3mins.. and tats all.. fabulous... alone waiting somemore.. how wonderful lor.. never mind.. outta topic..

hahaha.. did lots of thinking todae.. so much so that daniel asked me not to think anymore.. of coz.. as usual.. not a very nice way.. hahaha... we always talk to each other like tat de bah.. :D

hahaha.. what does the title mean?? nothing.. juz trying to say that i have been out for the past few nights.. hahah...

okay.. first n foremost.. i have this urge to play the punching game at a particular video arcade.. dun know why.. but juz feel like punching.. hahahaa.. wanna know how weak my fist can be.. hahaha... =D

secondly, very pek chek leh!!! those stupid bear bear catcher.. wah lao.. u all dunno lor.. i was like so close in getting my hands on eeyore lor! its like.. the stupid catcher machine is so !U$()UF$@)#!UJ.. i already got eeyore up from her position.. n, i know.. its so willing to leave the place juz for me(coz i m cute! =D).. but, the stupid monsterous "hand" of the machine dropped eeyore back to another position while returning back to the "hole"... grrr... was like.. spent abt $20 on that stupid machine... but, as i kept emphasizin' to daniel.. its the excitment that counts.. ahhahaa...

alright, back to the first point.. i have yet to play my game!!! tried going to the place where i last saw the game, marina square, but the place is closed! what the heck lor.. its only 0100hrs and the place is closed! the place is located with a snooker n bowling alley leh.. so early close.. sure lose money one lor... if u happen to be the boss, CHANGE UR WAYS!!! :D

Thursday, June 16, 2005

juz got back from a outing with my friends.. err.. the same old group of 5!

hahaha.. been very long since we last came together for an outing..

we are 5 crazy pple.. who juz love to try new stuffs... most memorable was the video taping session.. we actually became short clips directors!!! hahaha.. directing our own scenario of shows.. hahaha.. tat was really really fun!

anyway, this turn round, we chilled out at boat quay, TCC.. oh well, i would say that the stay there is very expensive lor.. or though daniel and willyn kept insisting the price is reasonable.. i juz ordered a lasagne and strawberry milkshake.. and it costed by $20.. what say u ? hahaha.. wateva ur comment is, i juz find it very expensive.. hahaha.. not inclusive of my parking fee of $3.. hahaha..

after TCC, we went to PartyWorld @ Cuppage for a singing session.. i tell u.. charlene is born to sing well!!! we all simply agreed that she is as good as the "Analog" mode for most of the songs lor.. for some songs, she sounded better than the "Analog" mode!!! hahaha... serious.. fantastic singer... as for Mark.. he juz slack around and kept entertaining us with both his hokkien and english songs.. hahaha..

been fun going around with them.. hope it will be soon when we come back together and rule the night! :D

as for her.. hope she is doing well.. though, its been long since we last met.. err.. ok.. never mind.. not really long ahhh.. due to the kanna caught red-handed matter.. hahaha.. nvm~

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

ok.. i feel that i have changed.. err.. to the good or bad, i dun know..

i starting to lose interest in almost everything around me.. it might not be that obvious at the beginning stages.. but, i think it will surface n pple will start to get irritated by me.. oh well, thats my side of thinking..

good, i begin to enjoy the type of person whereby is usually known as "happy go lucky"..

bad, pple will say i taking things too lightly..

hahaha.. guess this is a change whereby pple will have to go thru..

when ya in the middle age group, it is known as menopause.. but, what abt teens? dun tell me early menopause.. hahaha.. :D

Friday, June 10, 2005

hahaha.. while chatting with elvin.. outta a sudden, i came out with this quote..

"When u earn lesser money, you will have lesser worries about spending it!"

maybe, that explains why i ain't working that much nowadays.. lol... (excuses)

anyway, tonight has so far been an emotional night for me.. lots of things to think abt.. but, wanna be "xiao sa".. juz dun care abt how things are anymore.. whateva for? bring in only worries.. especially when it comes to matters regarding relationships..

dun think the person get it, anyway.. so, might as well "blur blur live longer..."

juz hope that she will forgive n understand why i m doing this.. not coz i wanna hurt her.. but juz want the best for her.. might hurt her in the process of doing so.. but still, i feel its better for her..

anyway, daniel came to serangoon after tat.. had supper with him and talked to him abt many stuffs.. of coz, the above one was mentioned too.. finally, my best friend is outta army.. hahaha.. but, gotta go back in 10 days time.. err.. i mean 9.. hahaha... :D

alright.. trying to think of what to say.. but, can't think of any le.. juz before i end this blog, i wanna wish her all the best in her future.. dui bu qi.. shi wo gu fu le ni..

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

somethings, sometimes, somehow, somewhat.. people will get jealous of each other.. definately.. this is such a common sight.. its just a matter of how deep the jealousy level is at..

i m no exceptional.. serious.. n, my jealousy level in this particular person is one of the highest in my past yrs on earth..

really wanna salute this person.. how did he do it? really.. this makes me wonder.. wonder so deeply that i juz simply feel like going up to him and ask.. but, i dun know him.. juz only know his name.. dun even have an outline of his face..

he is also one real scum to me.. how can he actually bare to do such a thing to tat person.. ? if its me, i would rather say what i usually tell others when i can't stand a situation.. "plz stab me!" then doing that to tat person..

really hope that person can rise up to the task in forgetting a scum.. i will be there to help if there really is a need to.. serious.. even i know that there might not be a slightest return in doing so.. ! as long as it helps, i will do it.. of course, please let me help in a way whereby i need not commit a crime hor.. :D

alright, yesterday was a busy n slpy day.. travelling up and down.. went to cbt at 2.. after which, headed home.. not long later, proceeded back to sch to continue with major project.. but, the funniest thing is tat i failed to progress during my 4hrs stay there.. was playing game throughout instead with the other lab mates.. hahaha..

oh, ya! the nomination results for INTSC is out.. 20 successful applicants for 15 seats.. 4 nominations were rejected by SAA.. total, 24 nominees.. oh well, outta the 4, 3 are ex-main com. members.. hope they will appeal and get thru to the elections..

ok.. before i end this post.. i wanna say, "she is able to choose whether to love or not.. while i can only choose to love her more or deeper.."

sounds like i took that from some movie's subtitles or whatsoever.. yes.. but, its just simply too meaningful to be ignored... nites..

Finally made the decision, I won't listen to what other people say As long as you are also just as certain I know it all won't be easy My heart is always brushing up on convincing itself I'm afraid that you'll suddenly say you want to give up

Love really needs courage to face gossip and rumors As long as certainty is expressed in your eyes, my love has meaning We all need courage to believe we'll be together In a crowded stream of people I can feel you Putting all your heart into my hands

If my adamant headstrong ways will hurt you accidentally Can you gently remind me? Although my heart is too anxious I'm more afraid of passing over you

Alright.. this is the song which i fell in love with... very meaningful, mingsui, right???

Heh heh.. been busy nowadays.. like what i stated in my previous post.. oh well, something happened yesterday night.. which i wish not to elaborate.. but, it do make me realise that things are not as smooth sailing as i wish it has been.. therefore, one thing in mind, never trust things u see and know too easily.. it might juz become a twist of fate.. isn't it?

Another thing, i decided not to run for election for the Studies Club.. dun think i have any regrets doing so.. but, definately, i wish the best for the future of the club.. hopefully the rest of the main com. who is planning to run will help me make this wish come thru.. no regrets in joining the committee last AY.. though there are many sweet and sour happenings during my stay in it.. things like having the times of needing to write minutes.. come up with agenda.. and also, losing someone which i cherished.. but, there were also sweet happenings and great memories left behind during the duration of office.. memories like the sense of accomplishment everytime an event ended.. the smiles and happy faces on the participants.. the every little details which i notice n makes me escalated with happiness for.. ahhh.. feels great whenever i think abt it.. :)

Friday, June 03, 2005

errr.. ok, the trend these dayz is, "Are you running???".. running for what? running for NAPFA? not so enthu... its running for election...

i wanted to go for it from after knowing that not many of the current main committee members are willing to return.. but, to my surprise, almost more than half are planning to re-run! oh man.. so many year 3s in the committee.. personally, from my side, i know abt 10 individuals planning to run for a place in the main committee.. if i continue with my plans, i think, next sem, the Studies Club can prepare to close down liao.. all the leadership skills are out-sourcing after graduation... so, no point.. think, better dun re-run bah..

next, been thinking of wat to do for my major project.. things like adding new features to it.. explicitly explaining the current functions of it.. ok.. this can get very tedious at times.. so, dun think its easy.. if it is, it wouldn't be named a major project in the first place..

am so slpy today!!! dun know why.. had abt 6 hrs of lying flat on the bed.. but, still m slpy.. as i type this blog, my eyes are feeling very "heavy".. anytime, the "shutters" would juz come down... hahaha..

oh ya.. before i end this post, juz wanna say, i m addicted! addicted to what? addicted to the stuffs i haf been doing for the past few dayz.. !!! not many pple know what.. but, i can tell u.. its not something bad.. dun think too much!!!