Trump’s Space Force to include Jar Jar Binks

President Trump plans to launch a new military franchise, with all the key components of a George Lucas idea; such as numerous plot holes and one too many Death Stars. In fact, Space Force promises to militarize space, while at the same time giving Trump the opportunity to kill as many ‘illegal aliens’ as he wants.

Some are concerned that, like with Star Wars, Trump’s plans will eventually degenerate into a continuity nightmare, relying too heavily on the armed prowess of Ewoks. Alarmists have warned of a Jar Jar Binks figure emerging; an unnecessary slap-stick side-kick with racial undertones and incoherent dialogue – a bit like Kanye West.

Rumours persist that Trump is a Sith Lord, given the unnecessary CGI used on his hair and that midi-chlorians turn you orange. This is not helped by the fact that Melania Trump remains chained up, wearing an ill-fitting bikini, in Jabba’s sex palace – or Trump Towers as he calls it.

When fully operational, Space Force will become the ultimate power in the universe, unless someone has forgotten to cover up a heating vent. Trump explained: ‘Love won’t save you, America. Only my new powers can do that’, but just to be on the safe side he insisted that Robert Mueller was frozen in carbonate and a wall was built on Tatooine border to keep out the ‘Sand People of Mexico’.

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