Not That Jewish

Monica Piper in her solo show "Not That Jewish" at New World Stages. Photo by Carol Rosegg

By Donna Herman

Monica Piper in her solo show “Not That Jewish” at New World Stages. Photo by Carol Rosegg

Hmmm…..Monica Piper…..nope, doesn’t sound Jewish to me. But who am I to judge? I distinctly remember when I was in 5th grade running through a list of my classmates’ names in my head, Norma Davila, check…..Ralph Corsiglia…..Robbie McMiillan, check and check. I was Jewish, so I assumed everyone else I knew was. I’ve since learned better and I’m a little more discerning now.

But there’s no mistaking that accent, and it turns out that the Monica Piper who is performing a solo show about her life called “Not That Jewish,” at New World Stages, really is all that Jewish. Although her childhood next door neighbor, Carol Bengelsdorf, accuses her of being “not that Jewish” not because of her name, but because she catches her in a little (ahem) fib, about having gone to temple on Rosh Hashanah. Oy. So, because she is authentically Jewish, despite Carol Bengelsdorf’s slanderous and unfounded accusations, at age 7, little Monica has an existential crisis about whether or not she’s Jewish. WAIT. Did I say little Monica? That’s not her name. At least not yet. Phew. Almost made a mistake there. Glad I caught that, that would have been embarrassing. Did I spell embarrassing correctly? No red or blue underline so it must be okay. Sorry, I digress. I’m a little OCD about being right. And spelling. Did I mention I’m also Jewish? I know, my name doesn’t necessarily sound like it. Sorry again, where was I? Right. Monica, who is not Monica yet, was 7 and having an existential crisis about not being Jewish enough. So she goes around to each one of her parents and her grandmother and quizzes them on how they know they’re Jewish if they don’t go to temple. For her father, it’s very simple. What’s your mother doing right now in the kitchen?” “Making chopped liver?” “Exactly! Gentiles don’t sit home making chopped liver. They can’t even eat it. It makes them gag. You love chopped liver. I rest my case.”

I love chopped liver, and as you can tell, I relate to a lot of what Monica reveals to us as she prowls around the stage. She grew up in the Bronx and I grew up in Manhattan, but we were both raised, as her mother explains it “Jewish, but not very religious.” And both of our fathers were in show business. Hers was a comedian, mine was a make-up artist and playwright. She grew up travelling the borscht belt and learning how to do a spit take, I grew up in Captain Kangaroo’s dressing room. For reals. Mr. Green Jeans made my first set of curtains.

But this is about Monica, and being Jewish. Or was it not being Jewish enough? I’m laughing and relating, mostly. As is the rest of the audience who is about three-quarters alta cocker, and one-quarter able to wear lace-up shoes. But, like I was at the beginning of this review, Monica is starting to seem a little too eager to share every tiny detail of herself and her life

We learn about her father’s career as a comic and how he gave it up to give her a stable home. We follow her to San Francisco after she graduates from college with a teaching degree, marries a tall blond gentile who thinks she’s too Jewish and (gasp) NOT FUNNY! Cue the lawyers. We follow her after her divorce as she moves to LA, becomes a singing waitress, talks to her father on the phone, gets a dog, starts acting lessons, talks to her mother on the phone, develops 5 minutes of comedy, then 15, talks to her father again, starts living with another boyfriend, changes her name from May Lee Davis to Monica Piper after a noticing the sign for the Santa Monica Pier (ixnay the “Santa” and insert a “p” in the “Pier”), ignites her comedy career, longs for a Jewish family of her own, talks to her father yet again, discovers her boyfriend is a drug addict, meets up with her family in NYC and runs into her childhood idol Mickey Mantle, tells us about it ad nauseum so she can end with the punchline, “Wow. Mickey Mantle couldn’t get to first base.” And we haven’t even gotten to the last half hour where the really life altering stuff happens. Her son, her bout with the Big C.

“Not That Jewish” needs a good bit of trimming, and another hook to hang its hat on. As it stands now, she’s trying to force the narrative of her life into the framework of how she relates to her Judaism. I suspect that’s because of who’s paying the Piper. Sorry, couldn’t resist. The whole “I don’t go to temple so I have to prove to myself I’m Jewish” thing? Not so resonant with me. Since the diaspora the Jews have been wandering around not able to get to temple on a regular basis, sometimes even pretending to be Christian. We don’t eat mayo on our salami sandwiches, that’s how we know we’re Jewish. Don’t overthink. Being a single mother and beating breast cancer? That’s something to talk about. Being a woman head writer on a TV show in Hollywood? She never mentioned that and I’d like to know about that. Being the showrunner on Rugrats? Start talking lady.

About The Author

Donna Herman is a native New Yorker and a self-confessed theater addict. It all started in her childhood, which was spent on movie and television sets and in dark empty theaters while her mother, an actress, and her father, a make-up artist and playwright/screenwriter, worked. She knew she wanted to be an actress at 4 years old while on location with her father who was working on the movie “West Side Story.” They were filming the “Officer Krupke” number on the street and Donna was inside the police barricades being helpful and pressing the lever on the coffee urn for the crew. Meanwhile, the kids from the neighborhood were pressed against the sawhorses looking in. She knew then she always wanted to be on the inside. But it wasn’t until her 8th birthday when she saw her first Broadway show, “My Fair Lady,” that she fell prey to her addiction.
Donna went on to act throughout her school career and attended Boston University’s School of Fine Arts Theater Program where she studied Acting and Directing. After graduation, she returned to NYC and began the life of a struggling actress. She was fortunate enough to originate the role of Chang in John Jesurun’s downtown cult serial classic play “Chang In A Void Moon” which performed a new episode at The Pyramid Club on Avenue A every Monday night for almost a year in the 80’s. Many downtown notables were in the cast including Steve Buscemi, Black-Eyed Susan, David Cale, Greg Mehrten, and Anna Kohler.
While pursuing acting, Donna made money by working in recording studios and eventually got hired full time to manage Spyro Gyra’s new recording studio when Julian Lennon was recording his first album there. From there she became the Production Coordinator on the film of his concert tour for his production company. This led her to a job with the award winning audio post production facility where she stayed for 12 years and was the Controller. From there she went to Charlex, Inc. an award winning special effects and design company for the advertising industry, where she was the CFO and stayed for 17 years.
But her love for the theater has never waned and living in New York, she has always been able to indulge it. She has even been called to revise her role as Chang occasionally over the years, the latest for episodes 59 to 61 in 2015. She is now looking to get back to a more creative life and reviewing theater and designing jewelry.