If it’s happened once it’s happened a thousand times: You meet someone you think you might like so you make plans, or at least make plans to communicate again, only to have them fall off the face of the planet.

As of late, there has been a lot of discussion around the new Google+ policy of requiring “real names” from all of its’ users, which seems to have morphed into the requirement of “legal names.” There isn’t any exact and specific policy that defines a “real” name, and thousands of people have lost their profiles

My partner and I are going to our first BDSM event, and we’re really nervous about it. We’re new to BDSM, and while we’ve been to a few munches and one play party we are still unsure about where we fit in…

Your new book Playing Well With Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Navigating the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities is soon to be released, why did you two decided to co-author it? Lee – I was at a kink conference where a guy who was new to the scene showed up and was […]

Every year I tell myself the same thing: I’m not going to get caught up in the hectic schedule of visiting every single person in my extended family, or buying presents for a long list of people and all the other things that come with the Christmas holiday season. And every single year the exact […]

In Buddhism there is this concept of Dharma which is the law of nature and of suffering. I was at a meditation retreat this past fall about confidence and compassion when one of the teachers of the group made a joke that we weren’t just talking about clear dharma that weekend we were also talking […]

Something that our communities, small and insular as we may be, have on many others, is how we take care of our own. Sure, many faith based communities have holiday programs and outreach throughout the year. However, very few identity based communities, particularly ones around activities and relationships, take the time and energy to support […]

In an earlier column I discussed the idea of kinky community as a collection of smaller groups rather than one great behemoth. I looked at the idea that perhaps we have gotten so large, so encompassing in our demographics and sub-groups that one definition of ‘us’ is ill-fitting and due for a makeover. The bigger […]

Sometimes, when I take a moment to look around the dungeon and really take in all the scenes that are happening and the conversations going on, I start to feel as though being kinky has become a competitive sport. When I first entered the kink and BDSM community, it was more of the old guard […]

There I was, like so many others in the lunchrooms of corporate America, watching a coworker read 50 Shades of Grey. She asked my opinion, and I politely declined to share it. I haven’t read the book. I’m not interested in passing judgment on the book. Plenty of other folks have read it and rendered […]