Staying Safe During Domestic Violence

If you’re in an abusive relationship, it is advisable to create a personalised safety plan. A safety plan outlines practical steps to stay safe and prepares you for emergencies. If you have children, your safety plan should include them too.

Teach your children when and how to call 999 and what information to provide (e.g. name, address, and phone number)

Instruct them to leave the home if possible when things begin to escalate, and where they can go.

Create a code word that you can say when they need to leave the home in case of an emergency — make sure that they know not to tell others what the secret word means.

In the house: identify a room they can go to when they’re afraid and something they can think about when they’re scared.

Instruct them to stay out of the kitchen, bathroom and other areas where there are items that could be used as weapons.

Teach them that although they want to protect their parent, they should never intervene.

Help them make a list of people that they are comfortable talking with and expressing themselves to.

Enrol them in a counselling program.

How to Have These Conversations

Let your child know that what’s happening is not their fault and that they didn’t cause it.

Let them know how much you love them and that you support them no matter what.

Tell them that you want to protect them and that you want everyone to be safe, so you have to come up with a plan to use in case of emergencies.

It’s important to remember that when you’re safety planning with a child, they might tell this information to the abusive partner, which could make the situation more dangerous (eg. “Mom said to do this if you get angry.”)

When talking about these plans with your child, use phrases such as “We’re practising what to do in an emergency,” instead of “We’re planning what you can do when dad/mom becomes violent.”

Your emotional wellbeing is important. Here are some tips to protect and maintain your emotional health while in an abusive relationship.

Seek Out Supportive People:a trusted friend or family member can help you think through difficult situations and explore potential options.

Identify and Work Towards Achievable Goals:An achievable goal might be calling the WAO Hotline. You don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with right now, but taking small steps can help options feel more possible when you are ready.

Create a Peaceful Space for Yourself: Find a place where your mind can relax and feel safe.

Remind Yourself of Your Great Worth: You are important and special. It is never your fault when someone chooses to be abusive to you, and it is not a reflection of your worth as a person.

Be Kind to Yourself:Take time to care for yourself, even if it is only for a few minutes every day. It’s healthy to give yourself emotional breaks and step back from your situation sometimes.

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