SIDS the serious side to Red Nose Day

Rebecca Keleher never thought she would ever be able to celebrate on a day like this. For her, the pain of losing her son eight years ago was too much to bear.

She gave birth to a beautiful baby boy and could not have known that he wouldn't survive the month.

Rebecca didn't smoke nor did she drink through her pregnancy and to her Adam was a healthy new-born child. Yet he passed suddenly without warning and it rocked her whole family.

She says it was hard to come to terms with his death, and left her with many un-answered questions; and at times and she relives the pain of losing him.

"Why!? Why did it happen? I thought; why me?" she questions.

"It's still very hard, because you're always looking at what he'd be doing at 8 years old."

Rebecca and her family can attest to the range of emotions as their grief began to form around them. But she says it was thanks to supportive friends and family that they were able to make it through.

Red nose day is a day that the Kelehers now spend telling their story. Rebecca says it has been a major part of the healing process.

"The more you talk about it, the more it does become easier," she says

"People do know my story now, and they know they can give me a call, or call SIDS and Kids to say to them, help is there."

Bereavement Support

SIDS and Kids Queensland provide support to anyone who is affected by the sudden and unexpected death of a baby. There support networks include a 24 hour support line, counselling services, workshops and a range of professional and peer support.

Rebecca Keleher lent on these services when she need them the most.

"I used to ring them at late hours and they were there, supporting me. I still keep in regular contact with them," she says

The immediate reaction to the death of a baby or child can be shock, denial, disbelief, a sense of numbness or reality.

Leanne Raven from SIDS and Kids says these reactions are completely normal and instinctual, and help to cushion the impact of a death until a time when the devastating reality can be faced.

"Some emotions parents and family members may experience are guilt, anger, fear, blame and despair. Sometimes these emotions don't appear until years later," she says.

"It's important to know that grief can appear in all sorts of ways, it's not simply sadness or crying. Grieving the death of a child can be a bewildering experience."

Ms Raven says by allowing the process of grief to take place it can help the bereaved adjust to changes that take place following a death. And that allowing people the freedom to grieve has been their focus.

"No two people will experience the same feelings nor at the same time. For instance, men and women may grieve differently," Ms Raven says.

SIDS and the facts

In Australia every day, an average of six families experience having a stillborn baby. And nine children under the age of four die suddenly and unexpectedly from a range of causes including sleeping accidents, drowning, motor vehicle accidents, sudden onset illness, SIDS and stillbirth.

The unexpected death of a baby or child has a devastating impact on the surrounding community. For every one baby or child that dies, more than sixty people may require counselling and support

Red Nose Day began in 1988, SIDS and Kids has supported thousands of families and friends affected by the death of a baby or child.

Every year SIDS and Kids receive over 10,000 calls for support and education, with many people also participating in peer support groups.

SIDS and Kids offers anyone affected by the death of a baby or child free nationwide bereavement services.

Safety First for Sleeping Babies

Some sleeping arrangements for babies can be very dangerous and increase the risk of sudden unexpected death in infancy.

SIDS and Kids introduced a safe sleeping education program in the early 1990's and the number of sudden infant deaths in Australia has decreased by over 85%.

Leanne Raven, CEO of SIDS and Kids Australia says it's about getting the message out there for parents who might be unaware of the risks.

"Co-sleeping with a baby in an adult bed can be confusing if researchers only mention the advantages of sleeping with a baby and do not talk about the known risks. If parents are to make an informed choice they need to consider the risks as well," she says.

Parents need to be aware of the following unsafe sleeping environments for babies that increase the risk of sudden infant death and fatal sleeping accidents.

If a parent who is a smoker sleeps with a baby and if the baby is under 11 weeks of age, preterm or small for dates the risks increase substantially.

It is dangerous to sleep with baby if you are affected by alcohol or drugs, or sedating medication or if you are very tired and cannot respond to the baby.

Taking a baby into the adult bed may be unsafe if baby gets caught under adult bedding or pillows, or is left alone on an adult bed.

Sleeping on a couch or sofa with a baby is extremely dangerous.

Mrs Raven says that health professionals play a key part in the education of sudden infant death syndrome especially for those parents wanting to maintain a close connection with their child.

"Experts agree that it is important for parents to be in close sensory contact with their baby and they also agree that a cot or bassinet next to the parent's bed achieves this closeness," she says.

SIDS and Kids recommends that after feeding and cuddles, baby is placed into their own separate and safe sleeping place, next to the parents bed. For more information about Safe Sleeping visit the SIDS and Kids website on www.sidsandkids.org