Fantasy Premier League GW5 – Southampton, Chelsea and Man City Make the Preview

You spend weeks planning it. You book a babysitter. You book the cinema tickets. You book the table at the finest restaurant. You iron a shirt. You even have a shave.

She gets the hair done. The nails done. The tan done. You both dress up in all your finery. You enjoy a wonderful evening of romance.

You arrive home. You dismiss the babysitter. You retire to the boudoir. Clothes are ripped off. Your passions intensify.

You’re both getting into the swing of things. You then hear those words that leave you cold. “Daddy, I can’t get to sleep”.

That’s the International Break that is.

Ed: Thanks for that Niall.

Defender: Ryan Bertrand, Southampton

Two clean sheets and a sensational goal in his first four GW’s should have had FPL managers bringing in Bertrand by the boatload over the international break, but as of right now he still has an ownership of just 6%.

Ryan Bertrand offers a route to precious points in GW5 as the Saints host the Seagulls on Monday Night Football. Chris Hughton has produced some lovely performances from Brighton at home so far this season but his team have shown very little going forward away from the AMEX Stadium.

This points towards a strong clean sheet opportunity for the full-back that likes to get forward, sometimes with spectacular results.

Ed: Check out the Gameweek 5 #FPL Podcast – looking ahead and a focus on Bournemouth FC this week

Midfielder: Eden Hazard, Chelsea

Saturday sees an old man prone to outbursts that many find distasteful taking on Neil Warnock at Stamford Bridge.

‘Colin’ of Cardiff has come out and said that a backs-to-the-wall performance this week would be pointless and that they may as well have a go. Rumour has it that upon hearing this news Eden Hazard smashed open his piggy bank and ran to his nearest Paddy Power shop shouting ‘Take my money! Take it all! Hazard to score first please!’.

Forward: Wilfried Zaha, Crystal Palace

Wilfried will play this weekend. His brother said so on Twitter and that’s good enough for me. (Ed: Gulp)

With two goals in his first three games (both away from home) he’s in form and Palace are relying on him heavily. In fact, the Selhurst Park outfit haven’t won a game without Zaha since December 8th, 1973. Christian Benteke is his strike partner but his aim is slightly off at present. He dropped his phone last week and missed the ground, it’s that bad.

Huddersfield have conceded ten goals in four games, and while they kept a clean sheet at home to Cardiff, that’s akin to paying your taxes. It’s inevitable.

Kun scored 20 points in 75 minutes against Huddersfield. If you’re comfortable with not captaining a player capable of that when he’s at home to Fulham (who have conceded nine goals in four games), all power to you. I’m not, so he’s got the armband and another 40-point haul is on the cards.

Agueroooooooooooo………..

Outsider: Raul Jimenez, Wolverhampton Wanderers

This is less about the guarantee of points for Jimenez, and more about the shocking form shown by Burnley this season. Their European adventure has seen them concede nine goals in their last three games and they have sod all to show for it. Wolves last home game saw them earn a deserved draw against the champions, while they also bagged two against Everton in their season opener.

Jimenez has a goal to his name already and has looked threatening. With a 5% ownership, he could make an interesting differential this week.

Draft: Jean Michael Seri, Fulham

Remember when West Ham unveiled Carlos Tevez and Javier Mascherano and the whole world scratched their head wondering how that was even possible?

Fulham have done the exact same thing with Seri this season.

This baller will do things this season on a consistent basis, so if you can draft him in, do it. Do it now. NOW!