In order for me to be mentally healthy, i had to become aware of my subconscious and the all experiences that influenced it.
This year, i allowed myself to be conscious of my childhood memories. Oftentimes i would have flashbacks to the location where these events took place, without actually seeing the full event. However, as i allowed these memories to freely enter my mind, i slowly began to realize that i had been molested.
I was repeatedly molested as a child for many years. Whenever i was alone with this man, he would ask to see and touch my genitalia. When i would refuse, he would ask if i wanted to see and touch his.
Furthermore, he would tell me to lay in bed with him, and if i tried to escape, he would squeeze me between his legs until i couldn’t breathe.
By the age of 13, these experiences had led me down a dark path of depression, anxiety, substance abuse, self-mutilation, suicidal thoughts, and had developed within me a hyper-aggressive personality. Although i have done well in mitigating the negative effects of my experience, i cannot claim that i have been able to completely rise above this.
More importantly, as i reflect on these experiences, i cannot help but think of others who have been molested. Sadly, child molestation is largely undetected because children are physically and mentally vulnerable. Furthermore, child molesters are oftentimes family members, or close friends and acquaintances which makes detection even more difficult. Since child molesters operate on brain-washing their victims to secrecy, many cases will go undetected.
As a society, i feel that we have taken away our focus upon this issue. Although we have done well in condemning these acts in our interpersonal conversations, we still have yet to do enough to raise public awareness of child molestation and its psychological impacts on victims.
I believe that when we can collectively raise awareness of child molestation, we can detect and prevent further instances of this despicable form of abuse.
Every child deserves to thrive.
#childmolestationawareness#mentalhealthawareness#mentalhealthmatters#depression#anxiety#ptsd#thrive#protectourchildren

One day, Peter Griffin was sitting in the dining room, reading a newspaper. Lois was busy cooking him a healthy breakfast of scrambled eggs and whole wheat toast.
Suddenly, Peter put the newspaper down. He had a mischievous grin as he tried to stifle his laughter.
"Ehehehehehe. Hey Lois, remember that time I met Sans from Undertale?"
Suddenly, Lois dropped to her knees and clasped her arms together like a poor peasant woman begging for alms. "Peetah, please don't mention another cutaway! I don't want to go back to the void!"
"Too late!" Peter exclaimed, and the world around Lois faded to darkness.
Peter walked over to a skeleton man wearing a hoodie. He was sitting in the living room, playing on an Xbox One X from the Microsoft Corporation.
"Hey there, stranger," Peter said as he sat down next to the skeleton man. "Whatcha' playin'?"
"Fortnite: Battle Royale," responded the player as he turned to face Peter. "I'll have you know I'm quite an epic gamer."
"Holy crap, it's Sans from Undertale!" Peter exclaimed excitedly. "What are you doing in my living room!?"
"I'm trolling libtards awesome style," Sans replied. "Wanna join me, Peter?"
"Hell yeah!" Peter exclaimed. "We're gonna destroy those libtards!"
Suddenly, the front door opened, and in stepped Ben Shapiro. "Did I hear something about destroying libtards?"
"Holy crap, it's conservative political commentator Ben Shapiro!" Peter said while pointing at Ben. "Hey Ben, would you like to play Fortnite with me and Sans from Undertale?"
Ben smirked. "OK, this is epic," he said as he joined the pair for some awesome Fortnite: Battle Royale gameplay. Many libtards were destroyed by the powers of FACTS and LOGIC.
The End
#meme#pain#existentialdread#lol#funny#dank#furry#ironic#reddit#pewdiepie#grandayyy#death#sad#depression#gamer#gamersriseup

Will you be able to light up someone else's life in the state that you're in now?
This thing called depression is eating many up, we have lost touch with Reality and now we look inward too much and see the many ways we are not doing well and then comparison with people we don't know, we heap this burden on ourselves and soon we start to scream out for help.
Happiness is not supposed to be based on the outcome of anything or anyone, it's within you and if we begin to look outwardly to see that we are not having it that bad, maybe some of us will stop being despaired.
Depression is self inflected, it's easy to blame it on someone, or a situation or circumstance but we are the ones that took things in a different way and the outcome is torture of our mental state and physical wellbeing.
For Today's #1ForTheTribe 👉 We have lost touch with Reality, a self centred world of I'm fine alone rather than ranting away the burden, even if 90% of what makes us depressed are nothing but vanity.
We still want to cover em up, because in the eyes of another, your case is small compared to theirs or you are just another poor kid seeking attention.
The many lies we tell when we say "I'm fine" Will be uncovered soon and I hope it's not when another commits suicide and a soul is lost that we realise how important it is to reach out to people and to speak out when reached out to as well.
I pray for the tribe of those that are depressed/despaired right now, that God will give you clarity that will clear off your doubts and confusion and that you will see how valuable and loved you're and your life will begin to have a meaning, in Jesus name, Amen.
#1forthetribe#tribe#live#positive#positivethinking#positivevibes#quotes#youmatter#dontquit#quotestoliveby#Wednesday#wisdom#love#depression#happiness#positivelife#positivity#MYPR#bornwaffirian#warri#deltastate#Africa#Nigeria#reachout#mbpgoingglobal
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#1ForTheTribe#MoniqueYeresha

Day 19: Count down to a Thriving Christmas & 2019 🎄
Day 19 is about the paranoid thinking style. As the name suggests, this unhelpful thinking style is characterised by frequent worries that you are being criticised, rejected, harmed or exploited by other people.
Along with the above, the paranoid thinking style is often prevalent in those who are self-conscious and/or find it difficult to trust others.
If you can relate to this, start to work on becoming more socially confident (day 9) and challenge your paranoid thoughts: 🤔 What evidence do you have to back them up? 🤔 Are you assuming that other people are having the same negative and judgemental thoughts about you that you are having about yourself? 🤔 Are you brooding (day 13) or catastrophising (day 15)? Remember that you can’t be everyone’s cup of tea- and that’s okay, you can tolerate that, especially if you have worked on having high, stable self esteem that is based you YOU liking yourself and not on what other people think of you.
Christmas and 2019 will be so much more enjoyable if you follow these insights and nip paranoid thinking in the bud
#mentalhealth#anxiety#anxietyproblems#depression#panicattacks#socialanxiety#emetophobia#lowselfesteem#letstalkaboutmentalhealth#thriveprogramme#mentalhealthawareness#mentalhealthmatters#endstigma#mentalwellbeing#wednesdaywisdom

Christmas could be dreadful for some, including me. This Christmas, I'm avoiding to attend too many Christmas gatherings (I attended one last week which made me feel sooo uncomfortable because my anxiety was high then), and avoiding to meet my old friends (meeting old friends could be dreadful, anxious to get many questions which sometimes show no emphaty). Just thinking about it makes me anxious. Since I have depression and anxiety, Christmas and birthdays are dreadful.
So, this year I decided to make my own Christmas to-do-list, I want others to feel a brighter Christmas, I want others to feel the warmth. Hopefully it will make my Christmas brighter too.
What's your Christmas to-do-list?
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#christmas#christmastodolist#depression#depressionandanxiety#anxiety#livingwithdepression#livingwithanxiety#mentalhealthwarrior#mentalillness

"Having a clear head on the way out was a frightening prospect; I was going to have full feeling and emotional weight back in m The last time I had felt anything like that was the last time I was in love and had my heartbroken, and that, precisely, tipped the scale in favor of freedom. I can almost pinpoint the exact time and place I knew I was going to keep using benzos as a way to forget everything, but I commonly confuse that with what was the first time I took benzos. They might actually be one in the same, but that's for another time." New post on WordPress about stopping doing shitty stuff and getting your heart broken! Fun stuff. Link in bio

"It has been, and still is, one of the hardest times of my life.
To cope between vomiting and manic episodes, lowered seizure threshold, pathological loneliness
sleeplessness I would guiltfully call insomnia but I'm really just not here when everyone else is
and I'm supposed to see progress but no one is around to tell me that there is any
like a race with a starting line written in pill dust that's gone when I turn to check it
messaging friends at 3am, messaging myself at 4am,
feeling too old or too unwanted or too anything and making it even worse because insecurities are even more of a burden
and then that's the burden. The frustration is nauseating, vomiting again, now I just don't fucking care
I tried to do it right, and I was doing it wrong and then I did it wrong and knew I had to do it right
I'm seeing Christmas spirit and love, fights and arguments, blocked accounts and lashes against a boyfriend or girlfriend
that didn't all them right back, that isn't fucking them right and there's a sad, dark, wishful beast inside me that misses
that and then laughs knowing how that's something they would miss, too.
then there's a window in the madness, a lapse in the neurons over firing and I have to use this time to remember what the fuck,
absolutely
positively makes me feel good. I don't get to think, I just do.
and then I remembered,
and then I did it.
It was this." - The Lapse
It took...so much work, so much wracking of my mind, sleepless nights, friends and hope to try to find the good place again. When I was writing and drowning myself in my photography, I was at my absolute happiest. I struggled so long for what I thought was something I had to leave forever because of neglect. I'm glad I dug out the terabyte of photos I was too shameful to share because I felt inadequate or useless . The use is my fucking sanity.