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Day 61: The Postponement Character - Self Sabotage 101

Today I got a real
clear look at the character of Postponement, and just what that looks like, and
how I participate in and as it – and this is really cool because, the result of
participating in and as this character is that I sabotage myself and my life,
and all of existence as myself, by developing and programming myself with
patterns of postponement, which I then live out.

How does that work? I mean, I
can look at my life, and all the moments that I postponed, and I can see them,
because I knew in those moments exactly what I was doing, yet not realizing the
consequence and how to assist and support myself to stop, as I didn’t yet see
it all laid-out before me in simplicity. And thus I can also see how I’ve
compromised myself by participating in and as the character of Postponement, as
all the things I could have done, but didn’t because I believed myself to
actually be the character of Postponement, not realizing that it is actually
just a character that is acted and is not real as who I am, and thus I am able
to change my character to a character that is actually effective and
supportive, where I rather live life to the fullest, then waste it away in
postponement. I mean, I only get this one lifetime, with a limited number of
breaths, why would I decide to spend them within limitation and holding myself
back?

So when I
participate in Postponement, I know that I am actually mind controlled, where
I’m allowing my mind to have control over me. How this works, is it starts with
a thought, wherein the mind takes you to a negative thought toward what one is
about to do, and then pulls you in with a positive thought. The next step is
where you go into backchat based on the thought, which confirms that you have
believed in and accepted the thought. So, by the time you are already in the
backchat of ‘I don’t want to do this, I’d rather do that’, you have already
accepted the initial thought as the initial negative thought and then the positive
hook, and thus from here will act as that thought and have backchat in response
to that thought, and be directed by that thought, and thus be literally
possessed by the mind, which is the purpose/function of the mind – to keep you
enslaved to not ever see/realize/face yourself so that you can actually change
and stop accepting and living as limitation, never really actually living, as
you’re only living as the mind, as how the mind directed you to feel and be
to/toward your world and reality.

I mean, quite an
effective tool for enslavement as it have one believe that you actually are
that limitation, and that you actually want to be limited. Yet, once you know
how it operates, you can see right through the ‘magic trick’, to see there
really is nothing magic about it, it’s just a simple pattern that we’ve taken
for granted, with a really simple solution, that if applied constantly and
consistently, you will transform
yourself into a being that no longer Postpones your life away, but actually
lives fully here in each and every moment.

So, when I see
myself going into Postponement and having backchat about wanting to do
something else, I see how I’ve defined what I’m about to do as negative, and
then have come up with a positive as ‘what I’d rather do’ – and when this
pattern comes up, I know that I have accepted a thought, and that I am allowing
myself to be mind controlled, and thus I stop and identify the initial negative
experience, and the positive experience that the mind use to suck me in to
trigger the character of Postponement, so that I can become aware of exactly
how this character is triggered, so that I can stop before it is activated and
gets to the point of backchat, and where I will start to manifest actual
physical symptoms like feeling tired, or fidgety, and just wandering about, and
so within this, utilize this as a tool to strengthen myself in the decision of
who I am, as a cross-reference for where I’m not yet standing within the
decision of who I am and what I do.

And thus in such moments where I would go
into and become the character of postponement, I assist and support myself to
not participate within the realization that the resistance is not real, it is
created through the mind within the initial negative thought and then the
positive thought to hook me in to the belief and acceptance of the thought
where I will then live as that thought, while it is only ever a thought and not
actually real, so once I identify the thought, I then stop participating and
physically commit myself to do what it is I had decided to do, and move myself
to do it. And as I consistently apply this correction of practical application,
where for example, if I have decided I am going to write something, then I sit
and do that and focus on that until it is done, I will eventually delete the
character of Postponement, while changing myself to become the directive
principle in who I am and what I do, within making a decision and actually
doing it, realizing it will become easier as I go along, until it becomes who I
am, as a being that makes a decision and walks it through to completion.