About freedom and lots of other things

I’ve always said I would never want a normal 9 to 5 job. I’ve thought that it wouldn’t be a lifestyle that I’d want to pursue and that I’d probably feel trapped in my own life. I still feel like I wouldn’t want to spend my life working 38 hours a week for someone else’s dream and only having a few hours a day for my own passions.

But you know what? After having all this free time for such a long time, I really feel like 9 to 5 job would be exactly what I want. I almost feel like I’ve been on constant holiday ever since last June when I went traveling to Europe. I haven’t had to set any alarms, get up early or do my make up in the mornings. I’ve been able to sleep in almost every morning, wear sweat pants all day and just do whatever I want which way too often has meant doing nothing. I haven’t had any routines nor almost anything that I have to do in such a long time. And oh boy, I really start to miss routines!

I guess that these last months have really done their job. It is actually quite exciting to be in a position where you can’t wait to get back into routines and a stricter schedule. I think the things I miss the most are waking up early, getting ready for the day and being productive as well as social throughout the day. Most of my time last fall, for example, was just spend alone at home – it’s nice, I enjoy it, but enough is enough. I also miss the feeling when you’re really looking forward to a weekend or a day off. When you feel like you’ve earned your days off, and when those days feel a bit more special. Because at the moment all my days are very similar and everyday feels like a Sunday.

The problem here is, though, that as soon as I start working or get into a 9 to 5 routine, I start missing this time I have now. The time, when I was able to workout whenever I wanted to, wake up whenever I wanted to or have a “day off” whenever I wanted to. How perfect would it be to have lots of variety in your life and just be able to decide if you should stay at home or go to the office or if you should just take a day off on Wednesday. Or maybe the problem is that, I really haven’t figured out that one thing I would be very passionate about. I’m more of “a little bit of everything” person and can’t choose just one thing.

Another thing is that, as I wrote earlier, motivation really is created through action and doing. Having less and less things to do makes me less and less motivated to start anything new. As a person who hates excuses, I’ve caught myself coming up with excuses a few times over the last few days. But I know the key is to start doing again and be more active and productive.