How to Ask Your Mom About Puberty (for Girls)

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Asking your mom about any part of puberty can be tricky, no matter how close you are with her. If you are shy, embarrassed, or nervous about talking about puberty with your mom, you've come to the right place! At the end of this article you should be prepared to bring up the subject and ask questions, without feeling that internal disgust. Read on!

Think about what you hope to get out of the conversation. Before just walking up to your mom and bringing up puberty, you should sit and think about it for a while. Are you looking for general advice, medical explanations, help with preparation, a shopping trip, a shoulder to cry on, or all of the above? Your mom will understand how tough it is to ask for advice and help, and make it as easy as she can to make the topic comfortable and informative for you.

The first and probably most important thing to remember when talking to mom is that she went through the exact same thing. No matter how old a woman is, at your age they were curious, shy, and worried about their body, just like you!

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Do your research. You want to make sure you know what you are talking about. You can find out practically anything online, but make sure you use reliable sources like Kids Health, HHS.gov, or WebMD. Learn the basics of what will happen to your body, and learn about what's going on internally. This way, when you talk to your mom, you'll have a better idea of what questions you should ask. Going to the bookstore and spending a little money on a puberty book they sell in the Women's Health section will also give you more trustworthy knowledge, so when you bring the subject up with your mom, you have an idea what to ask.

Learn about puberty in boys, too. Although you yourself won't be going through this, it will help you to understand what the boys in your school are going through.

Get comfortable with the subject yourself. If can't even think about puberty without cringing, talking about it with someone else might just make you severely embarrassed and nervous, rather than helping you learn more about the subject. You should be comfortable enough with puberty that talking about it with your mom will help you learn more and become more prepared to face it, without subjecting you to undue discomfort or embarrassment. Reading and thinking more about it, as well as talking to friends, a doctor or school nurse, or anyone else, will help you get more comfortable with the subject.

Find a time to talk to your mom. When you have researched puberty and become comfortable with the idea of it, you're ready to bring it up with your mom. Find a time when you two are alone so that you can begin the discussion. Invite her out to coffee or lunch for a date in order to make sure you have plenty of time to talk, or find that time even by just helping her while she cooks.

Think about questions to ask her. Have an idea of how you can bring up the subject. This doesn't have to be an elaborate ruse - simply saying "Mom, I want to ask you about puberty" will bring up the subject in a simple, matter-of-fact way. Think about why you're talking to her. What do you want to know? Do you have questions, concerns, or fears? Do you need something specific, or are you just looking for general advice? You don't need to write down a list of questions or make it feel like an interview, but having a good idea of what kind of information you're looking for will help you get the most out of the conversation.

Ask her about her own experiences. Say "Hey Mom, when you were my age..." or "Mom, did you ever...?" Chances are, she was just as nervous and embarrassed back then as you are now. Asking her about her own experiences is a great way to draw connections between the two of you, make her remember what it was like to be in your position, and help her understand what you're feeling right now. You will also benefit from hearing about her experiences, so that you don't have to repeat her mistakes.

Approach your mom and bring up the subject. You have researched and familiarized yourself with puberty. You have thought about what you want to know, and you've planned a time for the conversation. Now all there is left is to go for the gold. Approach your mom at the planned time and simply bring up your question. She will be happy that you came to her with your questions, and she'll be excited to share her experiences.

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Question

What if I'm 10 and want to know this stuff?

Community Answer

Ask your parents about it. If you're not going through puberty, but you're just preparing yourself, read up on it, carry around a pad or tampon just in case, and have a bra ready.

They are not "supposed" to. They can, and this is perfectly normal and acceptable, at the same time, having a crush on the same sex, both sexes, or neither is also perfectly normal and acceptable. Everyone is different.

I think I need a bra because my breasts are quite big for my age, but how do I ask my mom?

Community Answer

Just say something like, "Mom, can we go out shopping for a bra? I'm feeling a little uncomfortable without one, so I think it's time." You could also just wait until you're out at Target or a department store and just bring it up when you're walking through that department.

How can an eleven-year-old with questions from reading sex topics on the site speak to their parents for help comfortably?

Community Answer

If you don't feel comfortable stating where you read about the sex topics, you could always say you heard about something among your peers at school and you have questions. As for it being "comfortable," having sex conversations with your parents is always going to be a little awkward. Just tell them you have something important you need to talk to them about and go from there.

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wikiHow is a “wiki,” similar to Wikipedia, which means that many of our articles are co-written by multiple authors. To create this article, 14 people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it over time. This article has also been viewed 16,086 times.