Briefs & Groaners

A roundup of some of the shadier — and just plain odd — things that happen around Ryerson’s downtown campus

Security attended to a male found lying in the planters in front of the 99 Gerrard St. entrance. When officers approached, the suspect became very agitated and suggested the officer go fuck himself and mind his own business. The suspect was verbally barred and left property westbound on Gerrard Street. We’ve decided that verbally barred must be a badass way of saying “we told him to leave and never come back.”

On March 22, a theft report was filed regarding missing bike parts. The student parked his bike over night and upon arrival, the victim noticed the two front lights of his bike were removed, along with the rear light located on the back of his seat. The victim refused to contact Toronto police because he was smart enough to know they wouldn’t give a fuck, but security safety planning was conducted.

A suspicious looking individual was found loitering in the engineering building on March 20. The individual who reported the incident said they saw the suspect attempting to gain access into his office. Eventually the man moved on before being seen attempting to gain access into another room without success. He then saw the suspect go west out the Church Street doors. He was described as having a red beard. Which is really indicating nothing other than the fact that he may be soulless.