Amostrecentandhumorousencounterwithawomanwhosehusband(mydebtor)diedlastJanuary said thatsheneverknewhehadaCadillac.Shewasdefensiveandhostilewithherchoiceofwordsandtone.Sheactuallysaidthatherhusbandmusthavehadawomanonthesideinsinuatingthatthecarwasforsomeotherskirt,andshewasmadaboutit.Notreallythough,he’shadthecarforsixyearsandtitledittothesamehometheysharedtogether.

Smoke and mirrors right?. The key to dealing with difficult people is to unemotionally state your reason for calling, let them say their piece and then proceed to give a moment of silence.

A silent moment to a defensive person puts them in the frying pan.

When you stop speaking the other person will be psychologically compelled (tricked!) into speaking to you simply to fill the void. Most of the time they’ll end up giving you the information you’ve set out to get in the first place, if only just a tid-bit.

In this case, the wife knows she’s on the hook for this car, and it’s not hers. I’ve worked so hard to find her and l have no intentions of leaving her alone until the moment she surrenders my client’s collateral. I really hope she buys herself a new car because she’s driving a dead man’s Cadillac that’s out for repossession.

Seriously, excuses are like elbows. Everybody has two (yes I cleaned that one up).

Over the years I’ve developed an unconscious habit of continuing on with my “speak” when I get double talked. I was called out on this trick just a few weeks ago by a repo agent and I know it’s a direct result of dealing with difficult people in high-volume over the phone. If someone is yelling or talking over me then they’re probably lying. Shakespeare said it first. Me thinks thou lady doeth protesteth too much!

Put your subject at ease by asking them how they are doing before you tell them who you are and why you’re calling. Being calm and kind gets cooperation. Even it it’s not right at that very moment your non-threatening approach will pay off.

I think that skip tracing auto repossessions has shown me that people are good. The intention is not to get a free car to drive but to buy time until they can right the wrong that’s prevented them from staying current on a car note. Sans fraud, of course.

When I ask debtors if they want to pay for the car or if they want to return it to the finance company I usually get an honest answer. You’ll hear what they really hope for, if they’re job hunting or if tax returns are about to help them get back on track. Every once in a while I do get thanked for being so kind.

Crazy skip trace secret that gets me return phone calls…

Instead of sending letters to debtors in a regular #10 envelope, I send a padded bubble mailer with a shipping label. Not only does this get me tracking to see if the package was delivered, I can also require a signature that proves someone at that address received my mail. This isn’t needed for any legal process, just to get the debtor to call me. People want their packages!