That being said, yes the initial backwards recoil is exactly the same as the forward bullet push. But, much of that backwards energy is absorbed by the mass (weight) of the rifle before it hits your shoulder.

Actually the total force exerted on the shooter is greater than the force delivered on impact by the bullet. The bullet loses energy as it leaves the muzzle of the gun. Also, some of the energy goes into the mechanical opperation of the gun, if it's a semi-auto. In revolvers, energy is lost in the gap between the cylinder and barrel.

Then there is heat energy absorbed by the gun and expelled by the gun that never gets transfered to the shooter or to the bullet/impactee. All energy must be accounted for - I think I've addressed most of where the energy goes.

Just try to visualize it this way...if you threw a punch at someone with a fist shaped like a 9mm, but one foot in length, what do you think the point of impact would look like. And, that punch is going to have quite a bit less energy than bullet fired from a gun. So, I'd expect to get a degree of penetration into human flesh/bone...but without the same level of destructive energy transfered.