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Monday, April 28, 2008

...but I had a really weird morning. Didn't hear the alarm and didn't get my kid to school (he's a half-day kid), had a crazy ass dream that I was back in high school and was supposed to remember my locker combination, and I'm just all icky icky morning sicky. So, I'll be back probably tomorrow.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Okay, dear readers, last night, something marvelous happened. I was sitting in the lobby lounge with Mr. Jen, Jill, Christina Radish and Bronwyn Green. Just after Bronwyn got up and left to go "chisel off these contacts", and shortly after I became enraptured with watching Jurassic Park 3 on the bar TV that had no sound, someone, I don't know who, says, "Oh my gosh, that is. That's Fabio."

I snap to instant Fabs alert. There he is, standing at the check-in. It's him. Oh my God, that's Fabio.

I grab my camcorder, used previously to record bits of Heather Graham's amateur theatrics for posterity. Now, I put it to a more holy purpose: getting actual, video footage of Fabio checking into the hotel.

It's like getting a video of the Loch Ness Monster or Bigfoot. You've always known in your heart that Fabio is real, but you've never imagined being this close, ducking behind fake foliage in a crappy hotel bar, filming the creature in his natural habitat.

At one point, he tossed his hair.

Then, with preternatural instinct, the beast spots me. Fabulousio turns his deliciously chiseled features in my direction. I slam the camera closed and duck, though by now he can clearly see me. But I do not care. I have seen the face of Fabio and lived.

The good news, dear readers, is that when I return and have proper USB connecting type thingeys (and way more time than I've had of late), I will show you this shining promised land, hair toss and all.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free to watch male cover models lip sync to Lee Greenwood while making inappropriate pelvic thrust motions. I'm fairly certain my brains will never recover.

I'm about to head off to my panel on Romantic Suspense with Tara Taylor Quinn and Brenda Novak. I know, I don't write Romantic Suspense, but that didn't seem to matter.

Tonight is the Faery Ball. If I'd remembered my USB cable, I would promise pictures. But guess what? I suck and totally forgot it, so you'll have to see pics when I return to the frozen north.

Friday, April 4, 2008

So, by now everyone on the internet has see the super flaming singing sensation, Samwell and his hit "What What (In The Butt)". It was in grave danger of becoming old meme. But then, South Park, that paragon of taste and class, revived it by staging an homage to "What What" starring Butters, the cuddly, lovable and often horrendously abused and humiliated classmate of the the four main characters. Here, I present to you both the classic and parody versions of "What What (In The Butt)", for your viewing and comparing pleasure.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Okay, so here is the absolutely true tale of Harrison Ford being dead:

Once upon a time, I had a party. And my parties are epic bacchanals with drinking and lowered inhibitions. I used to have a life-sized replica of Han Solo frozen in carbonite, and it got hella molested at one of these parties.

So, anyway, during one party, I disappeared to my office to "check my email." This should have been clue number 1 that I was up to something, because who checks their email during a party? But my drunken friends were too far gone to see this.

After an appropriate length of time, I go out of my office and go, "Oh my God, you guys! Harrison Ford died!"

And everyone goes, "WHAT? HOW? OMG!" And I was like, "I don't know, it was a heart thing, apparently. He died like, three hours ago, it was on TMZ."

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This is the official blog of Jenny Trout, writer, swearer, and all around obscene person. Under the name Jennifer Armintrout, I wrote USA Today Bestselling fantasy/urban fantasy/paranormal romance. Under the pseudonym Abigail Barnette, I write award-winning romance and erotic romance, both historical and contemporary.

What you can expect to find here in 2013:

Chapter-by-chapter recaps of 50 Shades Freed

Updates on my free online erotic romance serial, The Boss

An in-depth re-watch of the entire series of Buffy the Vampire Slayer

The occasional post about cake

Lots of swearing

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I'm mentally ill!

I suffer from depression, anxiety, OCD, OTD, and self-harm. Do you? Don't be embarrassed about it, okay? It's not your fault.

I find that when I'm down, I can stave off a total crash by listening to music. This is the music that helps me. Maybe it will help you, too. This is my "Get The @#$% Out Of Here, Depression!" playlist on Spotify.