Transitions

04Sep

It’s a feeling that not everyone has experienced. Such a big change, a transition that seems to creep into every area of your life. It makes various aspects of work, school, connections with family and friends, and even daily tasks and activities feel different than they used to feel. It’s not like anyone gives you a manual on making these adjustments. And they happen all at once. I can’t decide to only incorporate the change into one area of my life until I’m used to it; it’s all or nothing, jumping in the deep end. The initial impact is startling, to be sure! My automatic response is to draw back, climb back out of the pool, take a breather, think about the situation and all the reasons it took me by surprise. It’s not that I didn’t expect it to be different, I just didn’t know exactly HOW it would be different. But at this point it’s too late not to make the change. I jump back in and realize the second submersion is not as intense as the first. It’s hard to explain it really, just that everything that used to seem intuitive doesn’t quite work that way anymore. Old habits must be realigned to fit the new way of life. Old fallbacks and workarounds must be retired because they simply don’t work. It makes me feel awkward, like I’m fumbling about, not quite sure how to do this. I tell myself that others have made this transition and are doing just fine. Give it time. Just be patient and relax, my grandma would have told me. I wonder if she would have had anything else to say about it. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this…