I do not know you, I have never seen you before 5 minutes ago, but I am afraid of you.
You have done nothing wrong, nor have I, I wish to hurt no one, nor do you. I know that intellectually you show no signs of being dangerous to me or me to you, yet you do frighten me.
Actually one could argue everything unknown to me frightens me, new ideas, new political opinions, new religious ideas, and my imagination creates ghost and specters of the unknown to be afraid of.
When I walk down the street, for example today it is St. Patrick's everyone 30 years of age or younger are drunk, high, stoned in one manner or another. I am 52 years old, not weak, or incapable of defending myself, I do not fear those things. That is the problem though is it not? I fear things that are not dangerous or people who are not dangerous and in my fear, in my paralysis, I fear harmless people and situations
And I ignore real dangers to my safety, that is the irony I fear things not a threat and ignore those things that are a threat
I am locked in a room and I do not have the keys to get out, but neither do my captures.
My captures of course just are not real, no more than Unicorns or The Celestial Tea Pot mentioned by Richard Dawkins
Two people who I loved were in this situation, this situation of psychotic mental illness, and both are dead.
My Mum, schizophrenia and alcohol and a lack of any real effective treatment of psychosis is what killed her.
Her death was not technically a suicide, but drinking yourself to death slowly is suicide, at the very least the end result is the same, She is dead, A is my sister who did commit suicide with a double barrel blast into her ow face, found dead by my 12 year old nephew, her son. He was 12, let that sink in, 12, looking at what is left of once was his mother.
So, if I am afraid of everyone and everything why am I STILL ALIVE after 35 years of my own schizophrenia??
Well, as a Roman Catholic I feared death, Satan, Hell and God more than I hate life and I still hate my life but that natural instinct for biological organisms to survive, to persist, the drive to live and survive prevents my death.
As an atheist I fear death even more, for an atheist, this moment is the only party we get, I am not leaving his party voluntarily by my own hand.

What is a racist? Where do these demons of hate live? Hmmmmmm, Oh , I know, do not tell me, I know this! If you go to Sun Way, taking a left will bring you to the AntiNazis/AntiFascists/antiracists fantasy town: "I am not racist, I have black friends or I personally have black skin." I think Rebecca Watson, Clementine Ford, Anita Sarkeesian and my personal hero Professor Click "you can not be here!" live there!
Oh, and I am sure that brilliant college professor in a mask that clocked somebody in the head with a bike lock lives there, he wore a mask, it seems hitting people is illegal in The USA, Nazis and commies alike.
What the fuck was the name of that not at all racist left wing hard left turn town?
Oh, I know, this is quote from someone, not mine, credit due where due, Any ways I think the Name of that totally non racist left wing town: The Soft bigotry of low expectations" yeah its long, where the totally non-racists Rebecca Watson, Clementine Ford, Anita Sarkeesian, and bell hooks live there! Am I right?
Lets back up, then take right, I want to find the real racists as much as I want to see not racist Rebecca Watson.
So, on the right, this racist town is named, hold on hmmmmmmmmmm......
Oh I got it! It Johannasburg South Africa where the not all racist black government officially are pushing for the murder of whites and stealing their farmland, YAY! I got it, THEY can not possibly be racist, they are black, racism is part of the systemic rule of white power structures... Uh? Oh, right in South Africa it is a black systemic power system, they are not racists, I am sure their race/hate crimes are done out brotherly love for whites.
I know, I know it is all very confusing, do not worry, I am here to help clear the confusion.
You see left wing agitators, as it turns out, are racist. Let me explain, if you are a young affluent white male or female who thinks black people need you to fight for them instead of them defending themselves, you are speaking for blacks, without permission, because you think blacks are like retarded children who need rich, liberal, whites to save them.
Yeah, my dear Watson, you are a fucking self righteous racist with very, very, very ,very pale skin, Rebecca, you need more Sun. But, I Digress.
It seems that South Africa, The Rainbow Nation, wants a one color rainbow, BROWN. They, the black racists will not even include mixed race children in the brown rainbow that came of Rebecca Watson's mother's vagina, right after Rebecca of Sunny Brook Farm Was born just 4 minutes earlier. Fraternal Twins.

Friday, February 23, 2018

Imagine if you would if you took a rocket to the moon, and everything you needed to survive was their upon your arrival.
Air tight living structures, houses, buildings sealed and filled with air that is recycled non stop.
You have an appropriate place to sleep in your new home, because you see it is now your home, this sealed house on the Moon, you can not go back to Earth, they do not want you there, you are a pariah.
So here you are on a world, The Moon that is a world with one resident citizen, you.
No one else will ever come to visit you, play cards with you, talk with you about love, life or the news.
Why are you a pariah? You are a pariah because you do not do the things others do, they have children, you detest children, their screeching unacceptable.
People on the home planet like to live on one part of the Earth permanently and vacation in another, they seem to have a need to escape from a location they chose.
You do not care, or did not care where you lived, you were happy anywhere.
The people of Earth chase, wealth, work, career, family, sex, love, entertainment and amusement, these are the reasons people get jobs, yes they get jobs to have a place to live, eat and sleep.
But even the places you live, eat and sleep at are only important because they support your need to be entertained and amused, by sex, drugs, money, politics, kids, family, gay sex, marijuana, "if that's your thing", like Red said in Shawshank.
You, your time on Earth was spent alone in a bizarre system of politics, governments, political parties, democracies, dictatorships, plenty of food, no food and a lot of famine.
Police who arrest the bad people, police in some places are the baddest people.
Races and colors of people who were different yet helped each other as well as those that killed each other.
Nothing makes sense, so you shut it all out, or some of it you do not even know exists anymore, there is to much going on in a you tube world with 6 second attention spans. You can not participate in a system of torment on Earth usually caused by other people.
And after 40 years alone on the Moon, suddenly everyone wants to forgive you for being weird, they love you now, they want you to come home. And of course things are different if you do go back, after 40 years gone, things now make even less sense than 40 years before, so you do not stay on Earth, you go back to the moon because you do not understand them, nor they you.
Welcome to Schizophrenia, seeing some things as useless bull shit, or confused by fear and psychosis of other things that prevent you from understanding, you are even unaware of your unawareness of the world.