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this can't be real... BUT IT IS.

this creepy fool is offering $1500 to anyone who will find him a girlfriend. omg check out his "About the Girl" section- he drops the word "slut" like 50 times and has the following to say about mothers:

I prefer a woman that has never had children, because having kids does ruin a womans body often times. They end up with stretch marks. And also sometimes it makes their vagina looser, and I don’t care how many kegel exercises a woman does, after she has 2 or 3 eight to ten pound babies, you can’t tell me it’s going to be 100% as tight as it ever was! Plus, what’s even worse than all of that, is sometimes during childbirth the lips/vulva of a woman get torn and they never look the same as the did originally even after they heal, that’s why some women even get cosmetic reconstructive surgery to their vulvas after childbirth to try and regain their original appearance.

“Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.” – Bill Hicks

He could have summed all that up by writing, "I am a misogynistic, uneducated control freak. You can count on me being fat and ugly, based on my ridiculously specific standards for the look of the woman I want. I'm extremely judgmental of women, a racist, and I've also got a good amount of baggage, based on how many times I'll mention my ex. Who's interested??"

I really like how he claims to be a positive person, but doesn't describe the kind of woman he wants, but rather all the women he doesn't want.

"some of my pet peeves are the sound of dishes clanking together, the sound of empty beer bottles hitting each other, the sound that silverware makes whn it hits a hard surface, the sound of static, and a really high pitch beeping sound hurts my ears, and i say all this cuz to some ppl it may not hurt there ears but i have real sensitive ears… so i now will tell u wat i have for pets i have a boxer/pit mixed dog named Rockey and i have a black and white baby rat named Kira, i know this next part is goin to sound kinda out there but i’m basicaly a werewolf kinda i mean i don’t turn into one i just get the personality of one like i love the moon, i like to howl at the moon, i like to bite, and my k-9 teeth get sharper whn the moon comes out like i said it sounds pretty out there but its true, i mean i like werewolf’s more then vampires…. if u want to talk more to me other thn on here add me on my [email] account which is mc_magicfart_[redacted]@[redacted].com yes i know it sounds kinda funny or childish but i made it i think in 2001…"

What kind of site is this from and why were you on it? It is an odd one, that fosho. Well of course it's real, it's on the internet for cripes sake. So Llllamassss, I bet he'd give you at least $625...hit him up. Seems like your type. Match made in heaven.

“Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.” – Bill Hicks