Coconut Wireless: Locals Claim “All Time” North Shore

Coconut Wireless With Flynn Novak: The North Shore As Good As It Gets

I really can’t remember the last time I heard people claiming all time waves and conditions until recently. We thought last week was all-time, well this week’s wind and waves shit down last weeks throat! Sure it didn’t get bigger than 8-feet (Hawaiian style of course), but for the size and direction, it really couldn’t have been better.

Luckily, we had a hurricane miss us by only 500 miles southwest of us. That radical storm pulled the wind away from the islands and kept the skies clear of clouds. A short-lived 8-foot north swell made Sunset the spot for a day, and was backed up with a solid 5-foot west swell. After that barrage, I heard North Shore locals like Eric “Papaya Man” Bleu, Pancho Sullivan, and Kahea Hart claim Rocky Point, Sunset Point, and Velzyland to be as perfect as they’ve ever seen.

Andy Irons enjoying the run of excellent early season North Shore surf. Photo: Bielmann/SPL

Aside from all the great waves we’ve been blessed with, most of the North Shore boys who had been traveling all summer have returned home. We also saw the first swarm of visitors arrive just in time to share the perfect waves and weather with. By next week, the North Shore should be holding a good number of visiting surfers, and by the week after that it’ll be a full house.

In between sessions this week, I caught up with Jamie Sterling who just returned from a trip surfing a river wave in China. Below he re-caps China’s river water quality, fresh water surfing, and the famed nether regions of Chinese chicks…

Flynn Novak: Welcome home from China, where you rode “The Red Dragon,” how was it?

Jamie Sterling: It was really fun! Longest rides of my life—longer than any ocean wave on earth.

How was the water quality?

The water was the color of Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory, but it didn’t smell as bad as our North Shore cesspools.

It wasn’t as bad as the Waimea River?

Nah, actually the Waimea River is dirtier than the river I was in over in China. No stench, not much rubbish floating around, no dead animals or dead humans, none of the above. Plus I came back without a third eye or ear infection.

Another question I wanted to ask you based on the web comments: As far as the Chinese girls go, is it as bushy as they say?

According to sources, there's a serious shortage of razor blades and Brazilian bikini waxing establishments in China. Still would...

Yeah it’s pretty bushy! I didn’t score, but a couple of friends of mine scored and experienced ‘down south’ and they said that it’s really long and stringy, kinda like Chinese noodle soup. Hahaha!

What are some of your goals for this winter on the North Shore?

I want to win the Eddie Aikau contest, I’d like to score some big Jaws, top my biggest Pipeline barrel, stay healthy and get in the groove.

Any thoughts on the influx of girls who come to the North Shore every winter?

I love it! I’m a single man, girls, come surf…we need more of you out at Rockies!

They can brush your long locks…

Jamie Sterling's long locks...

Yeah, I got some work for you girls! [holding up his long hair]

About the author: Flynn Novak is a 26-year old professional surfer born and raised on the North Shore of Oahu and second-generation surf scribe. One of the most progressive and hardest-charging surfers on the North Shore, Flynn will be providing us with a weekly update from the epicenter of surfing all winter long.