Friday, February 15, 2013

Earlier today on Facebook I shared a link to this Comics Alliance post about a goddamn* Frank Miller Gucci commercial.
Setting aside the totally bizarre notion of Frank Miller directing a Gucci commercial in the first place, it’s actually not a bad commercial, as far as commercials go. It’s sleek, stylish, and sexy, and is, naturally, reminiscent of the movie adaptation of Miller’s Sin City.
Longtime readers (AKA Scott) may recall that several years ago that movie was one of the things I was looking forward to most in life, and that I was not disappointed.
Since then I’ve been waiting for the sequels, which seemed inevitable at the time, but which have failed to materialize in nearly a decade.
All of that will be changing in October when Miller and Rodriguez finally reunite to make a new Sin City movie, one which will feature adaptations of two of the stories from the comics, and will feature one entirely new story written specifically for the movie.
One of the adapted stories, which will serve as the sort of centerpiece of the movie, is A Dame to Kill For, which is probably my favorite of all of the stories set in Basin City.
Seeing that story adapted is the thing I’ve most wanted to have happen in a sequel.
For much of the time that I’ve been waiting for that to be adapted it’s been my fervent hope that Scarlett Johansson would be cast for the role of Ava Lake, the story’s titular – Settle down, Beavis; it just means she’s mentioned in the title – dame.
I had hoped that even if it meant that she proved to be unwilling – which seemed likely – to appear sans clothes in the story’s many, many (many) nude scenes, though I had also hoped that she would be willing to do so because, well, because Scarlett Johansson. Duh.
Given that she worked with Miller in The Spirit, a movie I refuse to dislike regardless of what anyone says about it – so seriously, don’t bother saying anything about it – I had hoped that my hopes were hopefully more hopeful.
More recently, I had come around to thinking that Christina Hendricks would also be a good choice (all of my comments above about the nude scenes, naturally, are just as applicable).
Back when the first movie was in the planning stages, they had considered adapting Dame, and had talked about casting actress Maria Bello in the role. That was kind of a head-scratcher for me. Don’t get me wrong; she’s a perfectly attractive woman and a fine actress, but she was, in my less-than humble opinion, not exactly right for the part of Ava.
The same goes for Rachel Weisz, whose name was thrown around a lot after the first movie was made.Angelina Jolie was also considered a viable option for a time, and while I think she’s more suited for the part of Ava than Bello or Weisz, it just seemed kind of…obvious.
Unfortunately, recent casting announcements have not only dashed my hopes, they’ve taken them out back and shot them in the head, execution-style, as the role of Ava is being played by Eva Green.
…
So I hate to be shallow here, and I don’t want to be mean, but…I just don’t find her to be especially attractive. Certainly not Ava Lord levels of attractive. And given that I’ve seen The Dreamers, even if I did find her attractive, the potential for her to be nude onscreen as often as Ava was in the pages of the comic wouldn’t hold that much appeal.
I’m still looking forward to the movie, of course, but I have to admit that it seems pretty likely that I’ll be sitting there thinking, “Really, Dwight? This is the woman you spent so much time mooning over, and are now willing to throw your life away for? This is the woman that can completely manipulate every man she meets?”
You can argue that James Bond seemed to be rather fond of her, but I don't know if that's a ringing endorsement, given his obvious sex addiction.
So, yeah.
Still, I will at least be able to see if the new story serves as an example of Miller’s frenzied descent further and further into batshit insane self-parody continuing unabated, because that’s always kind of entertaining to watch, or at least it proves fascinating in a train wreck sort of way.

*Speaking of Miller’s descent into self-parody, this classic (“classic”) panel, from All Star Batman and Robin, serves as the reason I refer to the commercial as a goddamn Frank Miller Gucci commercial:

And this is the goddamn Batmobile and I'm taking you to the goddamn Batcave.