Saturday, December 17, 2011

Today, I hugged Tito Kier twice before he finally go.
It's his last day today in the office. I almost forgot that it was his last day today, good thing I was chatting with some of my agents who were on lunch when he logged out of the clock for the last time.
The first hug was offerred by him. My reaction did not automatically kicked in but I knew something was different since Tito Kier does not always do that. He is one of the most reserved persons I know in my life-- and the person who makes it really hard for me to tell what his emotions are because 98% of the time he sports a poker face. The second hug was what I offerred after he logged out, when I finally realized what it actually was for.

When I went back to my station to continue with my pending deliverables, here's what I got from my email which almost made me cry:

Hi Team,

I would just like to take this opportunity to thank everyone. I would say that working with you and APS has been the most memorable experience in my career. I wish everyone success. It was a privilege working with the best and I couldn’t ask for more. Thank you for all the support. Take care and God speed.

Have a blessed Christmas and a Happy New Year.65877 Logout....Release. c35949 signing off......

Jason Timothy C. Feliciano| Team Lead – Operations

I have worked with him for roughly 3 years in the company and seldom had I seen him laugh, smile and chuckle. 98% of those laugh ans smiles I saw during his wedding (please see previous posts) which kind of a good feeling everytime. Maybe because it's rare.

I have never seen another person as OC as he is and who smell as good as him from 20 meters away.

You see, resignations are as good as someone leaving the country for a long period of time. We console ourselves that Facebook, Twitter and Yahoo are just there to connect us, but really, even with these technologies, there are some that we just lose along the years. Tito Kier does not have a Facebook account by the way.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

I am a proud iPhone owner for quite sometime now. I love how friendly this phone really is especially for people like me who's mantra is "life is too short to read the user manual". I love how useful the Apps are (albeit, you have to buy most of them)-- I find it cute to think that when one tries to hold the apps (for you to either delete or move them) the apps actually talk among each other (while shaking) "naku, sinu na kayang isusunod idelete sa tin?" or "nakuuu, ayokong matabi sa kanyaaaaaa.waaaaah"; I love how sensitive the touch screen is. I would no longer elaborate on its resolution and the camera plus the sleek design. iPhone IS iPhone.

Then there's Blackberry. The phone when years ago, only the corporate folks could appreciate and could stand its boring visage. But now, especially now that it's 13th month pay season, you find almost every minute, people updating their FB status of their BBM pin.

So now I own both. My friends have switched to using BB instead of Nokia or SE or Samsung. iPhone is quite pricey and since there are also apps in Android market which can also be used for iPhone, the world is eternally connected. Hindi naman ako papahuli. So I bought the cheapest BB.

But there goes the nightmare of getting used to it. Before I was able to have my BBM and other apps work, it took me 7 restoration of the old settings, contacting Globe almost every 3 minutes and updating the installer everynow and then. I am not sure if other BB users went through the same thing but that was a week of setting it up and getting the hang of it.

As for iPhone, I did not go through the same Dark Age as I was a previous iPod user. I got used to the synching thing. But I still imagine how would it look like had I not been an Apple user before.

These are my first world pains.
These things I rant about are mundane but at the same time so complex that it reminds me how simple and peaceful my life was with Nokia 3310 and 3100.

This whole technology thing has taken its toll on me.
But hell no, I'm not complaining.

But don't you think sometimes, you wish Apples and Blackberries were simply just fruits and just mere fruits?

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

If you can't stand seeing me in my pictures growing from a size 12 to now 18, please keep it to yourselves. Not that I ignore the subsequent health issues but because i have other things in mind.

Your jokes may sound funny and light to you, mocking my weight and my size but picture this-- going to the mall scouting for a wardrobe for the company party, a friend's wedding, a cocktail--looking for a nice and decent pants or dress or skirt in forever 21, finding the shabby one and confidently taking it to the fitting room knowing it would fit you but surprise surprise, it doesn't; or maybe it does but you look awful. You walk out of the fitting room with a broken heart knowing it's the last pair that has the potential of fitting and you then change your wish that something out there will fit you, regardless of how it looks like or how much is it as long as it fits you. But you find nothing. You resort to going to surplus shops where you find cheap and inaapropriate clothes for a party let's say. On better days, you come home with a bag of jeans but never has it been that you got excited fr wearing it because you know, somewhere in your heart that that is not what you really wanted. But in normal rains, your heart is what's making your paper bag heavy.

I go through that everytime i need to attend a party or a gathering.

So please-- i don't appreciate your comments about me skipping from size 12 to 18. I really don't. I have issues myself which you will never understand why. So please keep it to yourself.

And I will change because I am ready to--not because that top in Mango looks pretty.

I realized I'm 26 and slowly being eaten up by the monster I fear.
All my life as a kid, I have always strived to shine wherever I am. Until very recently. All my life as a kid, I have dreamed of things I wanted to do and accomplish. Some came true without sweat-- while others are like dust, at the corner of me life, waiting to be swept by time.

I have always wanted to be in film. Now, when I realized that my dreams are not enough for me to thrive, things fall apart. My life in a complete halt. Now I wait as I see people walk passed by me claiming their dreams. While I wait for mine to be fully exhausted.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

I went back to blogging some years ago when my friend Trixie inpired me to go back to writing. I told Trix that what kept me from writing is that I have very limited vocabulary and that I never seem to have a coherent idea. I write like how I tell stories to anyone. Random. Always having something popping out from nowhere. I never aced any of the writing class in college because I simply do not have control over what I'm writing aside from the fact that I don't seem to have anything interesting to write about. and that probably, no one's going to read them anyway-- either that they're bored or they've heard a story similar to what I was telling or probably not important. But perhaps just to highlight the failure, I was a creative writing and literature graduate by the way. Needless to say, I am expected to produce really good articles or insights that are worth reading.

So after a few exchange of thoughts, she then quoted a line or so from author Liz Gilbert. Something like, writing to find your self when you're already lost. Or I don't know if it was that or some other author mentioned that.

So why do I write?

Partly because, it is part of my grand plan to be famous someday. Though my mother says fame and notoriety are two different things. I write because, it is my way of emptying my head-- just like how Dumbledore deposits his memories in his Pensieve. I write because there are some things that I just can't tell and can only be felt when read. I write for posterity's sake. And now, looking and reading through the snippets of blog posts I have saved before the eternal damnation of then greatest social network conceived Friendster, I am laughing at how cheesy and emo my posts were. Funny how you are remined of how you felt back when you were writing that blog post about your crush. Sure, one will remember these things happening in their lives with their memories, but the anger, excitement, happiness, disgust and cheesiness you felt will sometimes no longer go with your memories. That proves true for me. I write because that's the only way I could find myself when I lose it along the way. And finally, I write because I have something to say.

I have been bound by the rules and by the norms of writing for the longest time. But really, what I am writing is for my own consumption. Inquirer is not paying me to be obligated to hit on the spell and grammar check of my PC. I write because I want to remember and that's exactly how I want to do it.

This time I will write with my heart. I will not care if the comma is missing or if I spelled recieved incorrectly. I will "Ignore All" and will not "(consider revising)". I will leave the margins to the grade school students learning the ropes and being graded for following directions. I will create my rules. I will write from my heart.

I never promised the universe that i would write brilliantly; I only promised the universe that I would write.Thank you Liz Gilbert for reminding me that.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

I missed the whole idea of being on a long weekend. We were off for a few days since our customers from the other side of the world are celebrating this important holiday, for some, much more important than Christmas-- Thanksgiving.

We never celebrate Thanksgiving here in the Philippines. We celebrate though, the fact that THERE is Thanksgiving so we're allowed to wander for about four days straight. But in the spirit of Thanksgiving, which I think everyone should do, whether or not your culture celebrates it, I am writing down the things that I am thankful for today and for always. In no particular order:

~that I am alive; I get to enjoy all of these things
~i have a family that may not be as tight as everyone else but will always come together if anyone needs help; and because they love unconditionally
~i have someone who loves me perhaps even if I am the worst person in the world; who neither supports nor condemns my evil plans; who says Yes when I say NO; laughs when I'm illogically mad and scratches my back so i can sleep
~my job. Because i have bills to pay.
~my friends; because I was never a good friend. I leave them and forget them at times. I make excuses, I curse and block some in FB but I know deep inside they love me. And will always care for me.
~my team; because I'm next to the worst Supervisor in the world but they don't have a choice so they stick with me. they also try to keep up with my mood swings each and everyday.
~my memory; because it keeps me sane. When everyone else have forgotten--i do not and will not
~my health; because i live a sloppy and very unhealthy lifestyle. I eat too much, and is too lazy to walk to get the remote. I celebrate my birthday more than I eat vegetables but I do not get sick.
~technology-- though it's a love hate relationship, i love that it allows the world to be much smaller and how it draws people together. And without it, you might not be reading this because i probably would have written this in a notebook and kept it hidden.
~my classmates-- though I no longer go to UPFI now, they inspire me to continue with the dreams I placed on hold.

I don't think there's any Filipino child who went through grade school who does not know the world famous Chocolate Hills and why they were called that way. And I'm not sure if what they know up to this day is correct.

You see, I finally reached Bohol last weekend and was able to clarify this.

From what I know back in gradeschool, the hills are brown during rainy season and green in summer. It's actually the other way around according to Kuya Bobet, our very honest very informative tour guide of Bohol.

During summer, the grasses gets burned by the heat of the sun hence getting only that brown color. Inly grasses grow on these 1000 something hills because the major component of the hills is limestone, not friendly for te trees and other bigger plants.

I suddenly felt the urge to go back to my school and tell my grade school teacher, who obviously not been to Bohol, to stop teaching what she's been teaching for the past 20 years.

Monday, November 21, 2011

... I woke up to the thought of how I used to abuse the post office sending gazillion of mails to people in different parts of the world, where my friends are-- and how, now, I failed to greet my friends and people even when there's FB around to just click and click and click.

I remember Lola Ping complaining how much she's spending in a week for mails alone (she's the one sending them by the way), but she is a loving grandma so she did it anyway.

Birthdays, christmases and any given days-- they were all worth of a card, handwritten, signed and on better days even kissed :)

And whatever happened to my stamp collections? I stopped with year 2002.

I wish to go back to these days when it's always a thrilling experience everytime you see Manong Kartero in your gate or a bunch of unopened mails in your study table.

I know emails are more eco friendly but holding something and thinking that this exact thing was held--or maybe even kissed by that person you love from the other side of the world makes it more humane and definitely touching. I'm sure Mother Nature will make an exception.

---

If you're a long lost friend, gradeschool, highschool, college and some random life friend and you miss getting and wanna get a snail mail from me, you may wanna email me where you want it to be sent together with your birthday, so i can update my Peter Rabbit Birthday book :) karen@karenderya.com

About Me

anti-social hormonal evil drama queen with an insatiable wanderlust, loves hello kitty, fantail goldfish, menudo for ulam, pies and ice cream and anything from the 90s and below. Writes on her left hand and sees the world in lomo.
I write about life-- travels mostly, food, people, conversations and love. And just like in any Karenderya, you will find a lot of options which will either feed you or make you feel sick.
Dine at your own risk.