Tolkien lore led a Texas boy to suspension after bringing his “one ring” to school.Kermit Elementary School officials called it a threat when the 9-year-old boy, Aiden, in a playful act of make-believe, told a classmate he could make him disappear with a ring forged in fictional Middle Earth’s Mount Doom.

A 911 dispatcher in Virginia helped save a baby’s life by guiding his family through CPR.It was the frantic call that sharply plunged a routine day at the Galax Police Department into a race against the clock. A race for a little boy’s life. 17-month-old Aidan Walker had been feeling a little under the weather and was taking a nap with his grandmother Cheri Grable. His mother Melissa Grable was out getting more medicine. When suddenly, “He’s dying! He can’t breathe!”

What worries me the most about both of these stories is the locations. Neither were in Crazy California or Nanny State New York. Texas and Virginia, states not normally known for stupidity of this magnitude.

Now, I can kinda sorta understand the CPR one. Performed improperly, CPR can injure, maim, or even kill someone, especially a 17-month old toddler. You get some adrenaline-fueled parent pressing down hard on a small ribcage and that could be a recipe for disaster. And, of course, a hefty lawsuit. Without the proper credentials for guiding someone in CPR, that department could have been in a world of hurt had things gone wrong.

But, calling a 9-year old child a threat for mentioning Tolkien's One True Ring? Are you kidding me? The only threat here is the one posed by a nine year old smart enough to be reading Tolkien. Chances are pretty high this kid is bored to tears by the standard classroom curriculum and has been a thorn in the teacher's side since September. I know. I was just like that.

Meanwhile, ISIS is burning people to death and President Feckless is sending James Taylor over to sing "You've Got A Friend" to the French people. Why is it that we go batshit crazy over this stupid stuff and WAAAAAYYY overreact, but when it comes to the kind of thing that we should get all worked up about, we approach it like field mice approaching a hungry bobcat?

Maybe we should tell President Teetime that ISIS is secretly planning to teach school children how to use the Ring of Power to perform CPR?

That is because you are already dead if someone is performing CPR on you, a state that results in death 93% of the time even when perfect CPR is performed.

What I want to know is, HOW THE %#<£* DO YOU HAVE A 911 DISPATCH CENTER WHERE YOUR OPERATORS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO GIVE CPR INSTRUCTIONS OVER THE PHONE?

The ability to provide CPR instruction over the phone has been a feature of emergency dispatch ever since I've been in EMS - 20 years - and has been proven to result in better outcomes than layperson CPR alone.

WTF? Do their cops in that city have no weapons? Are their firefighters allowed to use big hoses, or are the city fathers afraid of the liability from water damage?

The Muslim in Chief would have NO concern about ISIS teaching school children to do ANYTHING with the Ring of Power. After all, he IS truly one of their Brothers in Islam, and supports EVERYTHING they do.

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Open Invitation for New Shooters

Just want to extend an open invitation to all potential new shooters in the Northern Virginia area. If you have never shot a firearm, or would like to get back into the shooting sports, or are an accomplished shooter who'd like to try something in my arsenal, give me a shout.

New shooters get range time, targets, gun use and ammo on me. I've even got extra eye and ear protection - all you have to do is show up.