Why I Hate the New York Times: A Punctuation Rant

When I was first married, my husband and I lived on a scary street in Far Rockaway, New York, in a rodent-infested (we found out later), haunted house.

In any case, my husband always insisted on buying the New YorkTimes Sunday edition every, well, Sunday. I hated that Times; so anti-everything I stood for, so snobby, so biased, so self-important. Most Sunday mornings my husband was treated to a rant, by me, even if all I read was the Book Review.

The basic premise of both articles is that social media has worked its insidious way into the English language, changing timeless rules of punctuation, and thus the period now implies anger, not the end of a thought.

Right.

I totally get that spelling can change (worshipping to worshiping) and grammar can relax (“Who are you going to the prom with?”).

But punctuation?

126 out of two hundred million does not a rule make

What bugs me the most is that those advocating new uses for old punctuation are promoting an “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” attitude coupled with unprofessional and sloppy research. Here’s a gem from the NYT article:

[The professor’s] observations on the fate of the period are driven in part by frequent visits to high schools across Britain, where he analyzes students’ text messages….Researchers at Binghamton University in New York and Rutgers University in New Jersey…asked 126 undergraduate students to review 16 exchanges, some in text messages, some in handwritten notes, that had one-word affirmative responses (Okay, Sure, Yeah, Yup). Some had periods, while others did not. Those text message with periods were rated as less sincere, the study found.

Sorry, but even if those 126 students reflect the attitudes and opinions of every single college student in the world (according to Professor Google, between 150 and 200 million), this is hardly the basis for a new rule.

Now for the Washington Post article’s most ridiculous sentence:

We should celebrate these developments. Writing is becoming richer. This is an exciting time.

GMAB.

When it comes to social media, I’m all for doing away with periods. It’s great having one less character to punch, especially if you have a smartphone – or even a dumb phone – with a small keyboard.

Ambro for freedigitalphotos.net

But why should a tiny machine with an even tinier screen decide for us what should and shouldn’t be included in magazines and books? That’s sort of like saying we should buy only moisturizer in half-ounce bottles for everyday use because they’re easier to use when we travel.

An editor’s eye view

Most of you know that I have been a book and journal editor for the better part of thirty years. The most important thing I learned, from all of my mentors, is that it has to make sense. What is the author trying to say? How hard is he or she making it for us?

If you don’t get your punctuation right, you will not be able to convey your point. Here are some examples.

A small change can flip the meaning

Take a look at this:

Courts closed no playing

There are two ways to read this sentence, and without punctuation we wouldn’t know what it meant.

Courts closed. No playing.

Courts closed? No; playing!

Here’s another one:

She found an apple to give her granddaughter before they left Jack said look an apple from your grandmother

Here are two ways we could punctuate this. The change won’t be as dramatic as the first example, however.

She found an apple to give her granddaughter before they left. Jack said, “Look, an apple from your grandmother.”

She found an apple to give her granddaughter. Before they left, Jack said, “Look, an apple from your grandmother.”

Use the hyphen to eliminate ambiguity

She is a big cat veterinarian. She’s like 6’10”, and she treats only cats.

She is a big-cat veterinarian. Tall or short, she treats only lions, tigers, cheetahs, etc.

The museum in Paris is full of American eagle pictures. The gallery exhibits pictures of eagles, all painted by Americans.

The museum in Paris is full of American-eagle pictures. The gallery has many pictures of American eagles.

Get your commas straight

I live in a small foreign country. This means that I live in a foreign country and it’s small.

I live in a small, foreign country. This means that I live in country that is both small and foreign.

Dr. Smith is a blond mad scientist. This guy is a mad scientist, and he’s also blond.

Dr. Smith is a blond, mad scientist. This scientist is both blond and angry.

Stuart Miles for freedigitalphotos.net

I lived in a rodent-infested, haunted house. By now you should know whether I lived in a haunted house of the Disney variety that had mice, or if I lived in a house that was both rodent-infested and haunted.

Most of these sentence pairs are nuanced, but good writing can be both understandable and nuanced. Treat your prose lovingly; craft it correctly.

Moo

Franky242 for freedigitalphotos.net

There’s no reason to follow the herd. Remember that even highfalutin’ journalists breathe oxygen, bleed when they cut themselves shaving, and floss their teeth, so you don’t have to listen to them and follow all the latest literary trends.

Make sure your writing makes sense. And don’t worry: even good, plain, understandable writing can be flooded with your personality. Writing clearly and well, and with proper grammar, merely eliminates the obstacles that are holding your prose back from shining on the page, enabling it to enlighten, delight, and entertain.

Reader Interactions

Comments

I’m seriously concerned with trends that can lead to the slow, painful disintegration of standard English usage. I’m also concerned with lower standards in English education. I cannot tell you how many college graduates I’ve encountered — in corporate and public sectors — who have little grasp of composition and basic sentence structure (much less, grammar). This trend began long before social media redefined how we communicate.

I worked in television, radio, and film (as well as print) for 30+ years before I segued into web content. I love writing for electronic media because I am, by nature, visual. Electronic media altered languge usage. It didn’t necessarily dismantle it. Social media can be a powerful communication tool, but we don’t have to acquiesce to flat-out laziness. There are always standard-bearers who guard the language’s purity as it moves through time and change. It’s our job to be the standard-bearers. Bravo, Deena!

Thank you very much, Sharon, for contributing to this conversation! I also find it scary that there are so many people out there who are functionally illiterate. I understand that language will always evolve (think Thou and Thee), but no need for it to dissolve.

A very fine article, Deena. I’m of the opinion that texting will be the last nail in the coffin of decent writing. I always like reading about commas since I suffer from being “comma challenged.” I either have too many, or not enough. I keep working at it, though, and lately my editor, who moonlights as my husband, is finding fewer and fewer mistakes.

Hi Adrienne, and thank you for writing, and for your thumbs up. I totally agree with you that texting is the last frontier. I’m so glad my post was able to give you more info on commas. And yay you for improving day by day! That is the crux of the matter. Write every day, even if it’s only for 5-15 minutes; read good literature; and you’ll just keep going up.
Best, Deena

Hi, I’m Deena Nataf

I’m a book and journal editor with thirty years of experience in the field. If you write to publish, I want to help you get that first draft written, that manuscript finished, and that book out the door. If you write for yourself, I’ll give you the tools you need to write clearly, write regularly, and write in your own voice. But no matter why you write, I’m passionate about helping you make your mark on the world.