Friday, July 19, 2013's Lowdown

Look, we can understand if you're not big on rodeo. It's not for everyone. But if you have complaints about how rodeo animals are treated -- a topic totally legit and up for discussion -- we will submit to you that, at least at the Fortuna Rodeo, the humans allow themselves to be punished for entertainment purposes too.

That's right, kids. Friday night in Fortuna is Motorsports Night in the rodeo grounds which means one thing: QUADIATORS. Do you like Mario Kart? Pain? This is for you.

If you're new to town let us explain. Tonight at the Fortuna Rodeo Grounds, teams of two will mount ATVs. One teammate will be the designated driver (not in the traditional sense, but we assume they will be sober) while the other stands on the back equipped with a whiffle ball bat and with a balloon taped securely to their helmet. You with us so far? Multiple teams will then proceed to drive in a circle simultaneously and attempt to pull close enough to their competitors to allow for bat-induced balloon popping, i.e. their swinging bats at each other's (helmeted) heads. Last balloon standing wins. There are multiple heats. Eventually, a champion is crowned.

This is known as fun.

Does all the swinging bats at your fellow human ever lead to actual, heated altercations? Oh, hell yeah. Best of all, we know that the Fortuna Rodeo folks won't even get mad at us for mentioning it -- they feature a video of a Quadiator-related brawl right on their website. (This could happen again, folks! Come on down!)