I had that stomach bug that's been going around. I woke up in the middle of the night to use the restroom. I was sitting there, urinating from my rear end (we've always used that description, too!), and felt the urge to projectile vomit. I leaned forward to grab the trashcan and at that very moment my stomach decided it didn't want to hold anything in it anymore at all. When your stomach tenses to vomit that forcefully, it makes it hard to hold anything in. Because I was bent forward at the waist, I wasn't aimed at the toilet anymore. It sprayed at the toilet lid and splashed up my back and onto the wall. At least the vomit got in the trash can, at least.

At 5:30am, I was throwing up last nights dinner. I discovered three disturbing but kind of nice things. First, cooked spaghetti is very soft coming back up which means it doesn't scratch up my throat. Second, despite being mostly tomatoes, it wasn't that acidic, which means that it again didn't tear up my throat that much. Third, and possibly the most disturbing, it tastes remarkably similar coming up as it did going down.

I could not say the same about the raisin bread, soup, or plain bread I also couldn't keep down today.

I've also found that to be true. It's weird though when hours later and your dinner still looks like your dinner!

Things coming up looking the same as they went down is often a sign that your tummy bug put everything on 'pause' and it's just been sitting there instead of digesting. Especially if it's been hours since you ate and it's still there in your stomach to throw up - by that time, it should have moved onwards.

I had the same issue, years ago. I still remember this beacuse I was home from college for Christmas vacation, and my mom had made mac and cheese for dinner, which I ate. And then told me to clean up the kitchen. Which I didn't do as I felt ill. Like a huge weight was in my stomach; and the food wasn't moving. Well, later on, it all came back up, just as it had gone down. Not pleasant at all.

As for the peeing out the backside, my father's description was that he (or anyone else suffering from the same affliction) was flowing from both ends. NOt fun at all.

Many years ago my DH had the annual winter crud which seems to hit everyone in town at various times. It involved lots of puking and number 3's, frequently at the same time. I finally decided it was easier to throw him in the shower with a bucket for the chunky stuff. Then I could just hose him off as his butt had gotten too sore for TP from the every 10 minutes explosions.

P.S. Vorbau has been kind of quiet lately. Anyone remember if she is deployed right now?

Many years ago my DH had the annual winter crud which seems to hit everyone in town at various times. It involved lots of puking and number 3's, frequently at the same time. I finally decided it was easier to throw him in the shower with a bucket for the chunky stuff. Then I could just hose him off as his butt had gotten too sore for TP from the every 10 minutes explosions.

P.S. Vorbau has been kind of quiet lately. Anyone remember if she is deployed right now?

This could probably also go in "Dear Cat", but I am sufficiently disgusted to put it here.

I have one cat who refuses to touch any sort of hairball remedy, and I have one cat who refuses to actually chew (insofar as cats chew) her food. This has resulted in two episodes of ick.

Hairball cat has been working on getting rid of a ginormous hairball for over a month now. It finally came up yesterday. All over the freshly washed cat bed. And it was a sticky, gooey one, so it clung to her chin and she had to shake her head rapidly to get it off her. Hairball EVERYWHERE. Promptly followed by a good five minutes of horking up brown goo that smelled like death and refused to come out of the carpet without scrubbing.

Food vacuum cat has a habit of eating so fast it makes everything come right back up. But apparently her usual hork antics were not satisfying enough this time, because she sat there and yodeled three times before starting to heave, and then decided she was going to run backwards while heaving so there was a four foot long string of undigested cat food barf in my hallway. And then she horked AGAIN right in front of the kitchen and left a remarkably large pile considering how much she'd just expelled not even ten seconds prior.

I would be so very, very happy if someone would invent a paper towel that prevents one from feeling the warm squish of fresh cat barf while trying to pick it up.