A couple of years ago I had a pizza from a place in Gosport. It was ordered after the Mess at Haslar had produced the usual inedible sh!te and we had spent some time in the bar deciding whether to have curry, Thai or pizza.

The pizza came from a faintly unsavoury looking place away from the main roads. Mine had pepperoni, spicy beef and jalapeno peppers - my favourite toppings.

I spent most of the next day doubled up in pain from abdominal cramps; occasionally (i.e. every 15 minutes), I had to run to the lavatory to squirt some fizzy gravy. I swear I could count every seed from the peppers as they passed the inferno that was my ring. However, it was worth it, because it produced for about three days afterwards massive farts of such quality that no-one in my vicinity could fail to be impressed by either the force and loudness of their emission, or their lingering, peculiarly evil stench.

There is the sacred combination that is not that common - kebab meat pizza. There you have the 2 main food groups (kebab & pizza) combined without the life-threatening salad etc.
Kebab Meat Pizza - The pizza of kings!

Just down the road from 30 Sigs in Nuneaton is the king of Kebab Shops that sells this monster of all 3am snacks. It's awesome, weighs about 3 kilos and can feed a family of five for a week (or one p1ss-ead for 25 minutes)