Thursday, December 23, 2010

1. I am an 18-year-old bisexual girl. Woman. Female.

2. Actually, since I don't give a fuck if you're trans or cis, maybe I should be "queer," but I dislike a label that specifically describes nothing. All it seems to mean is you are different from the norm, but if monosexuality is the actual norm I will eat my hat. The fact that I do not own such an item is irrelevant. Oh, also intergender people are cool. But I'm not pan, since I see gender. Look, I'm sexual (and very, at that, to the point of being sex-obsessed), but bisexual does as a label, since people know what it means.

3. This is because I have an emotional override to my physical attraction. I definitely have a physical type, but I can like anyone so long as they are sufficiently awesome.

4. Oh, and pertaining to the "female" up there that's quite possibly got you all riled up by being equated with "woman," I am utterly confused by all this sex vs gender stuff. But I'll use whatever pronouns you want me to, within reason. And be attracted to you if you're sufficiently interesting in other ways. If you're being different just for the sake of being different, I frown upon you.

5. I think I'd have been just as happy being born male, but I'll stick with being a girl. Even if it would be awesome to have a penis, I think breasts balance it out.

6. I have never had an orgasm.

7. Ironically, my entire body is an erogenous zone. And the inside of my mouth.

8. I am afraid of purchasing sex toys for two reasons: 1) people might know I have them, and 2) orgasms.

9. That second reason is twofold, if I orgasm with the toy, my boyfriend may then worry it is his lack of skill that has lead to me not doing so beforehand. He won't, and in fact he'll probably just operate the thing himself until either of us can do it manually, but I worry that he will. On the other hand, if I do not, that means I am anorgasmic, and that is a strange and slightly terrifying thought.

10. It still surprises me that my boyfriend asks me if I want to do things. I still just figure people will tell me if I'm going too far, which I should stop.

11. I like friends. Friends are good. I have recently taken to kissing my friends, little kisses, not on the lips. I worry that this sends the wrong message to them, but then the snuggling would have done that anyway.

12. I am a total sub, but I'm a sub who knows what she wants. Mostly. And I'm getting better at articulating instead of grabbing.

13. In addition to this, I like being scritched behind the ear and petted. I would be totally cool with being a pet to a race of super-intelligent aliens. This is less to do with sexuality and more just me-ness, but subbing is part of sexuality, so why not this. Were I a furry I would have a kitten persona. Needless to say, I would be a very chaste furry.

14. When I get over my fear of sex shopping, I will buy a strap-on to surprise my boyfriend with.

15. I would love to go down on a woman.

16. I have gone down on a man, but never finished. The feeling when his erection swells in your mouth is incredible, though, cause it's like "I've done that. I've made it happy." Plus, you know, erogenous zone in mouth.

17. I have had two sexual partners. The first doesn't count.

18. That last one was a lie, but I've gotten over that now, and it doesn't need to be aired. It was the source of my sexual hang-ups for a long time, though.

19. BOOBS. ARE. AWESOME. I occasionally get to touch them and everything.

20. I occasionally make out with other girls when drunk. They are obliging, I am lonely. To do more than that would require me to be very sober and very sure of myself.

23. I doubt proper polyamory is for me. It just seems too difficult to arrange. I've had to try and split my time fairly between three sets of parents for years, and doing that with partners would tear me apart. But polyamory with one main partner and then a couple of friends with benefits I could handle. So long as everyone was okay with their position.

24. I like to be teased. Often the wanting is better than the having.

25. It's important to be able to laugh during sex, and have it not ruin the mood.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

1. I am a 19 year old female student who's fucked a total of six men and one woman.

2. Though I'm madly in love with him, I would love to cheat on my boyfriend.

3. I lost my virginity when I was 16, to a guy who was six years older. I had dated one of his friends, had gone down on another one and after we broke up, I proceeded to date another one. To this day, I have fantasies of fucking all four of them together.

4. I love redheads and small-breasted women. I love anorexic boys with treasure trails. But what really does it for me are the hands.

5. I am much more comfortable naked than dressed. I hate winter, because I have to bury myself underneath a mountain of thick clothes. It's about the sincere, almost pure quality of nude flesh: your body isn't Zara, Chanel or Wal-Mart, it's not where you were born, or what you ate last night, or where you went to high school. It's just a body, desirable or not.

6. I didn't love the guy with whom I lost my virginity and it wasn't a planned, romantic event. It was a completely spontaneous decision, born out of pure desire, and that's what made it awesome.

7. I orgasm easily. Everybody's so surprised when I'm over the edge in less than five minutes, especially when vaginal intercourse is involved. "What? Already?" is something I always get the first time I'm having sex with someone. The irony never fails to amuse me.

8. Since orgasms come easy for me, what most arouses me is tension and denial. Ever since my boyfriend discovered it, he drives me nuts with all the teasing, and though I know I'll have a powerful orgasm later, I sometimes get the urge to just jump him.

9. When I was around eleven, we went on a road trip and my underwear was peeking above my pants. The boys in my class kept pointing and laughing, so I got mad and mooned them, saying "it's underwear, get over it!" It shut them up, but the memory never fails to make me blush.

10. I discovered masturbation when I was practically a child. I didn't know what it was; I just knew if I pressed certain spots in certain ways, I'd feel very good. When puberty hit, I was already an expert on getting off. Odd thing is, even after experimenting with dildos and vibrators, I can only get myself off with my fingers.

11. Anal sex is not for me. At least, not if I'm on the receiving end. I'd like to fuck my boyfriend's ass, but right now I can't afford a strap-on.

12. I'm bisexual, though mostly heterosexual. I like dating other bisexuals, because they're not so ashamed and insecure about sex. I find hetero lovers are too worried about maintaining their hetero status and lesbian ones are too political about sex. Politics and gender roles have no place in my bedroom, unless you plan to somehow pervert them.

13. I'm a pretty nerdy girl, I like anime, history and all sorts of fantasy books. I often imagine how it would be to have sex with some of the characters. I often worry what this means, especially when thinking about history's great personalities. I mean, they always said Napoleon was a great lover, but who actually imagines that?

15. Though I don't like anal, I'd really like to try double penetration. I'd be a very happy sandwich filling if I ever find someone comfortable enough to do it with me and my boyfriend.

16. I'd really like to go to a sex party someday. I don't necessarily look for sex or a change of partners, but I'd like to watch and touch. I think it's an interesting idea, to kiss or touch someone while they're being fucked by someone else.

17. The fifth guy I fucked had a really big dick, so much so, it took me a while to fit it and it was very hard to move and get used to it. It was the only time I couldn't come from penetrative sex, besides my first time. So yes, size matters: there are times when big is just as awful as small.

18. I really like kissing, though it's a recent thing. My first boyfriends didn't really know how to kiss and the girlfriend wasn't exactly a master either. The third guy I fucked, however, taught me that kissing could be awesome. Ever since then, I refused to fuck anyone who didn't kiss me in a way that I enjoyed.

19. I like to read erotica and fanfiction. No one, and I mean, absolutely no one knows this about me. I'm kind of ashamed of it, because how do you explain it? It just sounds so ridiculous to say "yeah, I like Harry Potter, but I like Hermione/Snape fanfiction more than anything Rowling's ever written".

20. I can't get on well with my exes. I feel that past relationships are just failures, things I could have done better, but didn't. And really, it's just odd, having a conversation with someone who's seen you orgasm. Who you have seen orgasm.

21. I like oral sex, giving much more than receiving. I like giving, because it's such a powerful combination of power and submission: I pleasure someone else, but I control said pleasure. I don't like receiving oral that much because I feel too vulnerable and open.

22. The one thing I could never do is pee on someone. I had an accident while playing football (soccer) when I was little that derived into a rather painful infection that made peeing hard and painful for about two weeks. Since then, I spend a lot of time just sitting on the toilet trying to pee. It's psychological, but it would only be worse if I had to do it for another person.

23. I think I'm pretty obsessed with my exes. It's mostly because all my relationships so far have been rather passionate, emotionally charged affairs. I've always been a bit of a drama queen and picked all these impossible people... The only relationship I entered that I knew wasn't doomed from the start is the current one.

24. Freckles, birthmarks, blue veins peeking here and there... I find all these fascinating. It's always such a pleasure to explore a body and map out its differences from the rest... Much better than trying to map personalities.

25. I don't think great sex comes with great love. For me, it comes from great intimacy.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

1. I am a twenty-four year old female, and probably bisexual. The 'probably' is more down to lack of experience than anything else.

2. I didn't get much sex education from my parents, and had a pretty sheltered upbringing as I was homeschooled up to the age of eleven. Mostly I found out about sex through reading books.

3. I had a few crushes (all boys) in high school, but no boyfriends. I didn't realize that I was attracted to girls until I went to university.

4. I had my first kiss when I was eighteen. He was a friend of a friend, we met on a night out, and he charmed me.

5. I've honestly given up trying to describe what attracts me to people: the people I'm attracted to vary so much. With men, sometimes skinny nerdy boys do it and sometimes more muscled tough guys, and everything in between.

6. I feel 'drawn', somehow, to gay men. It's more a social thing than anything.

7. I love, love, love breasts. They don't have to be huge, just big enough to play with.

8. One of my favorite fantasies has me with an older woman, sucking on her nipples and being treated like her baby.

9. Following on from #7, sometimes I'll see a woman (in the street, on TV, anywhere) with gorgeous breasts and I just have to look at them.

10. Many of my fantasies revolve around oral sex – either sitting on someone's face, or 69ing, or kneeling in front of a gorgeous woman and just worshiping her pussy.

11. I've only kissed a girl once, while I was at university, during a game of spin the bottle.

12. I like erotic fiction – any kind – but I don't like watching porn or looking at pictures. The pictures always seem so fake and staged.

13. I'd like to participate in an orgy, but I don't think I have the confidence.

14. I want to try D/s sex someday. I want to be tied up and punished.

15. I masturbate quite frequently, several times a week at least. I use toys occasionally but I prefer just my fingers and my imagination.

16. I sometimes sign up for internet 'dating' sites, but I've never actually corresponded with anyone that way. Cybersex sounds interesting, and I'd like to try it at least once.

17. I like to masturbate when I'm on my period, it relaxes me.

18. Generally my fantasies involve people from TV shows or movies – fictional characters rather than people I really know.

19. The first time I gave a guy a blowjob was at a party when I was nineteen. It was the guy from #4, and it didn't end well between us.

20. I think most people (including my family) think I'm not that interested in sex.

21. I ejaculate when I come, sometimes.

22. I like how it feels when I piss myself. It's warm, and wet, and makes me want to try urine-play with someone else.

23. I want to be spanked, and a number of my earliest fantasies involved authority figures bending me over and spanking or caning me.

24. My preferred variety of erotica is m/m. It's the idea of two beautiful men fucking, basically.

25. 'Beautiful', for me, is a much broader term than I think it is for most people. That probably explains why there's so much variety in what turns me on.

Monday, December 20, 2010

1. I'm a 20-year-old (soon to be 21 woohoo) heterosexual female who likes to make out with girls on occasion.

2. I’ve always wanted to go down on a girl, or do something sexual with one, but have never really been given the opportunity to do so. I’m also very picky about what sorts of women I’m attracted to, and tend to only be attracted to the type that heterosexual men go after.

3. I grew up with boys, and boys were always open about their conquests and sex, so I was too. Being around boys all the time also made me incredibly forward in elementary and middle school. I was never afraid to talk to be and be friends with a boy I liked.

4. In high school, I was shameless. I’d kiss one boy and move onto to another one in the same week, and there was always some sort of trail of destruction going on whenever I was around. I have no idea how many boys I’ve made out with. I lost track around 30.

5. I’ve had dozens of boys tell me I was the best kiss they’d ever had. It’s still a point of pride for me to this day.

6. I watched Xena all the time when I was a kid, and I honestly thought that lesbianism was normal because no one, not even my own mother, ever told me otherwise.

7. I let a boy take off my pants for the first time when I was 16. No sex, we just fooled around a bit, but from that point on, I wanted to do it all the time.

8. I’ve fooled around in my yard at night, in the library parking lot, in the middle of the forest, in a public bathroom on a cruise and in someone’s car. Like I said before, no shame. I enjoyed every single experience, except maybe the forest one.

9. At one point, I considered trying to become a Playboy model. This was encouraged by my friends, who thought my raunchy attitude on life would be a perfect fit for a career posing naked in magazines. Needless to say, I’ve abandoned that career option, but I still love looking at those gorgeous girls from time to time.

10. I lost my virginity in a cruise bathroom to a man who was living with his girlfriend at the time, and I never felt shittier. I was also recently out of a bad relationship to begin with, so it didn’t help me at all. I’ve been the other woman only one other time. I hated the feeling so, so much and knew that I’d never do it again, the emotional turmoil just wasn’t worth it.

11. I used to have this terrible, terrible habit of moving on to another guy before I had officially ended my current relationship. I know a hurt a lot of people by doing this, and it just kills me that at the time I didn’t even really care about what I did.

12. I also used to be a habitual cheater. It often caused me to hate myself, and hate relationships in general, because fooling around with different guys while in a relationship had consequences, but doing that while single was perfectly fine. I started avoiding getting into relationships using this faulty logic all throughout high school.

13. You can infer from #9 and #10 that I had a hard time sticking to one guy at a time. The horrid, simple truth was that I just got bored with them eventually, so I was always moving on, looking for the next cheap thrill. I’m amazed I didn't end up with any sort of disease with the way I was going.

14. I’m terrified of anal sex. My current boyfriend and I were having sex one day, and he pulled all the way out and actually accidentally went in the wrong hole since he wasn’t really paying attention at all. Even though it was only in for less than a second, it hurt so bad that I’ve been afraid of butt play ever since, which is a shame because I was incredibly open to it before that incident. It’s a hilarious story, however, in retrospect.

15. I had a food fetish up until a previous boyfriend and I tried covering each other in chocolate syrup once and just ended up having everything in a big mess. We found that applesauce worked much better, but it was still a less than desirable result in the end. My current boyfriend and I tried eating chocolate cake off each other once, and didn’t really enjoy the experience either. Food was just not meant to be sexual for me.

16. The first time my current boyfriend and I had sex was in his apartment bedroom while his roommates were in the living room. I made sure to scream extra loud for them, and in turn they banged on the door and made obscene noises. Probably one of the best sexual encounters I’ve ever had, and also possibly the closest I’ll ever get to exhibitionism.

17. I have this wonderful fascination with gay porn and yaoi/slash fan fiction; it gets me going like no one’s business. My current boyfriend gladly indulges me in this, and I love him so very much for it.

18. My current boyfriend and I also have an odd agreement that homosexual liaisons are not considered cheating. This is mostly because of my tendency to make out with girls when drunk. He’s a typical heterosexual male who likes the idea of two hot girls making out, so it all works out. And since I have an obsession with gay porn and yaoi, I’d love to see him kiss a boy some time.

19. I love being held down and unable to move properly during sex. It’s my biggest turn on. I also love being tied up and blindfolded. I want to be gagged one day during sex.

20. I had sex once while wasted and partially blacking out in-between. I hated it. I’ve never been that drunk since.

21. I have this obsession with guys with long hair. I love to run my fingers through it, braid it, pull it during sex, and all sorts of other things. Effeminate guys with long hair are even better.

22. I’ve never been attracted to muscular guys. They always look way too box-like for my tastes. I like tall and slender guys with softer features. The only exception to this rule, oddly enough, is in video games.

23. I want a vibrator but I’ve always been too embarrassed to buy one for myself for some odd reason. Going to buy one for a friend or going shopping for one with a friend doesn’t faze me at all, though.

24. I was offered the chance to participate in a foursome once, but I turned it down because it would’ve been with three friends I knew too well. I didn’t want to have the awkwardness later.

25. Until recently, I was unable to hold a relationship for more than 8 months. I’m on my 10th. I always hated the sticky situations that came with committing to one person, and to my high school mind, staying with someone too long meant wasting your time because all relationships eventually ended. I’ve been with my current boyfriend for almost two years now, and we’re planning our life together after graduating college. I’ve never been happier or more satisfied with my life and sexuality, and at no point did I ever feel like I was wasting my time or missing out on other guys. It’s so wonderful to have something normal and stable, and though it sounds boring, it’s the most exciting experience I’ve ever had.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

1. I am ashamed of and disgusted by most of my desires, even though I find them blameless and laudable from anyone else. I frequently wish I were asexual like my partner.

2. I'm a cisgendered woman in her late twenties, and I identify as bisexual because my actual orientation is too unstable to be pinned down.

3. There are things I want which I'm unable to articulate well enough to ask for; the more chance I have of getting them, the less able I am to talk about them. I have scared people away by being honest and open before. Worse than scaring people away is the incredulous stare.

4. I'm submissive and into things which are categorized as "edgeplay" on all the sites I've been to; I've been to BDSM clubs but I hate them, and I dislike strongly almost all the doms I've met.

5. I don't think I'm ever going to find someone who is right for me.

6. I was sexually abused as a child and as a teenager; one of the reasons I loathe my personal kinks so much is that a lot of them are very transparently linked to those experiences. It's hard to accept that what caused me so much unhappiness now gets me off.

7. I'm very open about my particular sexual tastes and I feel like I have to set a good example in terms of self-acceptance, so I can talk about all kinds of deviance but paradoxically never about how it makes me feel revolted by myself.

8. I've discovered most of my sexual tastes by accident and through fiction.

9. Thanks to a couple of sour relationships and one-night-stands who weren't very kind, I'm now convinced that people will make fun of me if I look like I'm enjoying sex, which makes it harder to enjoy it.

10. I don't masturbate as much as I'd like to. My usual reasons are self-loathing, tiredness, and the feeling that if I do I'm somehow admitting that no one else would ever want to touch me.

11. So far, nothing anyone has done has been able to convince me that they find me attractive.

12. My best friends know more about my sexuality than anyone I've slept with does.

13. I'm most attracted to people who are a lot younger than me, but can't do anything about it because I assume that they'll think I'm a nasty older person. I'm assured that this is all in my head.

14. I'm attracted to men and to women, but not really to penises very much; the people I'm most attracted to are cis women and trans men, and I have enough trans friends to know that lumping them together like that is offensive. My libido doesn't care about that, but it's one of the things which makes me feel bad about my sexuality.

15. I frequently crack jokes or end up laughing during sex, and make self-deprecating remarks. Sometimes I think my interest in being gagged or choked is just so that I don't feel that I have to disclaim everything.

16. In recent years it's become the case that I can't get off without choking myself; my last partner wouldn't go to the length that I wanted to because of concerns for my safety and potential for brain damage.

17. The one part of my sexuality that I'm not revolted by is the part that makes people boggle and/or refuse to sleep with me, which doesn't really help toward self-acceptance.

18. The second girl I ever slept with was what porno likes to call "a squirter" and I've a taste for it now/feel like I'm not doing a good enough job if I can't get the same reaction from all the girls I fuck.

19. I like watching men and women wet themselves. I like the idea of being forced to do the same by someone. I like the idea of the sensation of wet cloth, particularly when it is wet with pee. So far I haven't told anyone this.

20. The idea of having one or more of my limbs broken by someone else as a prelude to sex turns me on.

21. Dirty talk - the kind that involves words like "slut" and "whore" or "dirty little girl" - doesn't just turn me off, it makes me never want to have anything to do with that person again.

22. I am already worried that I am too easy to identify from this list.

23. I have a readily-repeatable list of qualities that I find attractive, a "type", but I am more than happy to go outside of that type. I just don't tell people that very often.

24. The group sex I've had has been variable but on the whole I really want to try more.