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I wrap my new baby in my arms and feel an overwhelming sense of love –and fear. Since her arrival my life seems disjointed, chaotic, jumbled. I am thinking in circles. Round and round the clock goes. Tick. Tick. Tick. My house is an organized mess. My thoughts are exhaustively incoherent. Am I doing this right?

Months go by. And so do the gurgles and spit-ups and dirty diapers. Her first smile enthralls me. Finally, I think to myself, a nod of approval. And then comes a giggle. One, two, three more. Sitting up, crawling, first steps. I am flooded with encouragement.

Years go by. And so do pre-school and kindergarten. A new baby brother to love. I am standing in my kitchen and this blonde-haired, bright-eyed, six year-old beauty runs up, tugs at my skirt, and grins.

A friend recently asked me what I ultimately wanted out of my life. She was probing at my goals, hopes and dreams, and aspirations. I could have gone into detail after detail about how I wanted to be this and that and oh that other thing too. How I’ve dreamed of creating and healing and traveling. Spending time with my children and my family, taking vacations, and building a beautiful home. How I wanted it all! But my answer turned out to be one simple word – happiness. Of all the things in the entire world, happiness to me is the number one thing I want out of life.

I don’t mean the materialistic “more, more, more” happiness. The kind that is pushed upon us daily. This sort of pop culture, money-mongering, consumer-obsessed world that I can never keep up with, nor would I want to. I mean the mind and gut wrenching, dig deep inside myself, pure happiness. The kind that flows through our bodies and hearts, and transcends blissfully onto others. A happiness that centers upon connecting and giving.

Maintaining a happy life means different things to different people. I try to maintain happiness in my own life by being consciously aware of my presence, actions, and impacts.

Below are six tips I’ve compiled to help create happiness in my life:

1. Understand that you can be happy, you deserve to be happy, and you should be happy. It’s so much easier to appreciate the world around you with a smile on your face. (Your kids will certainly appreciate it too.)

2. Actively set and pursue your goals. If something goes awry (and it will), don’t give up. Use that energy to push forward and not to wallow in self-pity. Nothing worth fighting for is ever easy.

3. Surround yourself with positive people and positive influences. Your circle of friends, co-workers, and fellow moms have an exceedingly great influence in your life. Leave the negativity behind.

4. Take the time to turn inward and learn more about yourself as a woman, a mother, a friend. Recognize and focus on what fulfills and inspires you.

6. Be thankful for all you have been given. Blessings come in all different shapes and sizes. (This includes over-flowing laundry baskets, work deadlines, and messy bedrooms.)

Happiness may not be easy to define into words, but it’s easy to find. It surrounds us every single day. It is the bright yellow sun in a big blue sky. It is a thunderstorm in a sea of clouds. It is counting your newborn’s ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes. It is kissing boo-boos and playing hide and seek. It is making jelly sandwiches and doing cartwheels on the front lawn. It is holding hands and counting to ten. It is taking a deep breath and jumping in.

Happiness is giving others around you the gifts you have found within yourself.