What's Your Next-Door Neighbor Story?

I Couldn't Ask For Another

When I moved into my building four years ago, I swore my upstairs neighbor had stilettos welded to her feet and house music on repeat. I heard at all hours, but there were also long stretches of silence. It wasn’t overbearing, but enough that my chandelier would sometimes shake.
I finally met my neighbor one evening when water suddenly began gushing from my bathroom ceiling. I ran upstairs to her apartment, hoping to find the source of the issue. A woman in her mid-40s answered the door. She was wearing spandex leggings and black fitted cotton polo shirt with a leopard fur collar. The first thing she said to me was, “you have water leaking too, don’t you?” and opened her door wide for me to enter.
As I stepped into her living room, I stopped to look. The walls were neon green, there were electric blue bookcases, a dingy white shag rug, a white Formica console, DJ turntables, and a vast record collection. A glimpse of the kitchen revealed hot pink walls and framed music posters featuring a younger version of the woman standing before me. As we made our way down the hall, I saw a closet full of neon colored clothes – a wardrobe befitting of the Jetsons. In her red and black-walled bathroom, there was three inches of water. We called the super. I went back downstairs to wait, but not before noticing the name Lady Miss Keir written on the posters hanging on her walls.

Once back at my apartment, I Googled “Lady Miss Keir.” Here’s what I discovered:
“Lady Miss Keir was the lead singer of pop band, Deee-Lite. Their best known single is “Groove Is in the Heart.” Lady Keir still tours the world today as both a solo act and International DJ.”
I also found her website, where it occurred to me there was something I could do about all of the noise: I clicked on her Tour page to see when she’d be out of town next. I learned she’d be in Russia, then Vegas. This proved to be the perfect solution. I can now anticipate when I should expect the vocal exercises and DJing to increase and when I can look forward to periods of silence. I also downloaded “Groove is in the Heart,” thus single-handedly increasing her royalty check by 12 cents. After all, what are neighbors for?

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Have a Next-Door Neighbor Story?

As part of our new webcomic, Next-Door Neighbor, we thought it appropriate to have a little contest. Tell us your best true next-door neighbor story, and the winning tale will be matched with an artist and transformed into a webcomic and included as the final installment of Next-Door Neighbor.

About Next-Door Neighbor

No matter how close or how far, we all live next to someone, and we all have a Next-Door Neighbor story. With that in mind, editor Dean Haspiel asked some of his favorite storytellers and cartoonists to create their favorite NDN stories so we could share them with you.

The Fine Print & Contest Rules

By submitting an entry, you are granting SMITH the right to reprint or republish that entry online or in print, as well as make any necessary edits. See SMITH's terms of service for complete details.

This contest ends September 1, 2008. Prizes are not redeemable for cash and must be accepted as awarded. Winners are decided at the discretion of SMITH judges and all decisions are final. SMITH reserves the right to change the contest rules. Enter as often as you want. SMITH reserves the right to reprint or republish all entries.

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