Q. Have you ever owned a particularly cool iron or steamer -- either or both?

A. My iron/steamer cost more than all of the shoes I own, combined. It's made of magic and doubles as a weapon... or that's what I'd like to imagine.

Q. Do you like cats?

A. Yes.

Q. What are all your cats names and tell me a little about their personalities?

A. Fatty, a pixiebob mix- Super-bossy-alpha-only-really-likes-Blaine cat. Curly, an orange tabby- Gross breath and brain damaged. Chews on the curtains and rapes your face in the morning. Davy, black polydyctale- Fearless a-hole. He will punch a hundred pound dog in the face while it's sleeping, push your books off the counter and use your in laptop carrying case as a bed all in the first hour of his day.