What started out as a night to remember, quickly turned into a night you wish you could forget. Tom Gauguin turned down his best...

What started out as a night to remember, quickly turned into a night you wish you could forget. Tom Gauguin turned down his best friend, Simon Riley’s proposal to a casual night in of gaming and pizza with an ill-conceived, long-winded, meandering narrative.

“I mean what kind of ‘friend’ would do that? At least have the decency to come up with a coherent excuse,” said Riley.

Riley confirmed that Gauguin’s excuse contained bits and pieces of previously told stories, famous works of literature, and even parts of several religious texts.

“If he doesn’t have the decency to just say “no”, then I think I’m seriously gonna have to reconsider this friendship.”

When questioned, Gauguin stood by his prior statement and all of its extravagance.

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