It is strange being a Stay-at-home-Dad. For instance a chant of "ihopeiwinatoaster, ihopeiwinatoaster" floating up the basement steps. My nearly seven [eight] (now nine) ((now ten)) [[eleven]] {twelve} year-old twin boys concoct, devise, arrange, invent, write, say, imagine and dream the damndest things. Things that make me wonder. Ideas and stories that I may think on for days after I encounter them. I'll share some here. They made me do this.
Essential. Childhood. Nonsense. Explained.

Monday, August 5, 2013

Onehundredthmonth Day

Well, I've got a lot to prepare today, it's Onehundredthmonth Day, and you know how much there is to do. I have finished all the traditional Rice-Crispy treats shaped in a '100', the Mylar balloons are ready for liftoff and I have all the hats ready for the 'silly dancing in respectable hats ritual' we all must endure. But, it only comes once a lifetime. I hope you all got your announcements, I mean, well, no one sent any money gifts, yet.

OHM Day, as it's come to be called, sure has come a long way from its humble beginnings as a celebration of having made it on this planet for one hundred months. Quite an accomplishment in the medieval ages from whence this modern tradition can trace its roots. Most tribal societies also have some permutation of the special day as well, usually culminating in ritual dances or bungee jumping and wild body adornments.

Of course now it's all themed parties with fake unicorns, rented hats and factory-produced crispy treats, gluten-free of course but, they're really not that hard to make, folks. And nobody uses Mylar anymore, regular balloons are fine, saying a hundred Mylar balloons for every kid is bad for the environment. Whatevs, a tradition's a tradition.

Of course, the boys made their hut. So often you see them prefab these days, themed of course, I saw a Spongebob themed OHM Day hut the other day and a Disney princess one as well. What has this important celebration come to?

I know, I know, it's inside but, the weather has been so uncooperative and the bugs and finding enough sticks, well, we just went ahead and did it inside.

Zack has his hat finished:

Nick did his traditional pom-pom first, he'll get the hat done soon:

They both have been working hard on the legend they must tell, just as I did, just as you did, just as all those who came before us had to. Nick's is based on this guy, Lefty-Life:

It's a cautionary tale set in the a Mayan rain forest before the Spanish annihilated them. Zack's is a traditional story of knights and ninjas and lion-mounted rocket launchers:

So, I hope this all brings back fond memories of your OHM Day festivities. Perhaps you will get out some pictures and share them with your families, tell some stories, remember your legend, maybe even dig out your respectable hat. Hey, memories are what it's all about.

From Marci's "... things you don't expect to hear from the backseat ..."

(pause) "I lost you at 'It is hard to explain'."

In my defense I was trying to explain how the E.R.A. is baseball is calculated, and, well, I'm not really sure myself...