One Momma's journey of tragic loss, grief, remembrance, love and eventually hope and joy. Thanks to the 500 magical days we had with Peanut on this earth.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Doctor visits and active feet.

Peanut -

I saw the doctor who saw us through your pregnancy today. She and her office love you so much. Your loss has been devastating and scary for them, and it brought up so many heart-wrenching but happy reminders for me. Over the last two years, all my visits to their office involved YOU. I was either pregnant or had you with me. And the visit helped me remember being pregnant with you.

You were one active little boy from my crazy morning sickness from day one to your kicking and pushing that began at about 6 months. I would look at my tummy and see a toe or a foot begging to be released. It became a little bit of a game. I would touch a part of my belly and you would respond. No wonder I miss you so much. We were communicating and laughing MONTHS before you came out and said "Hello, World!"

And you were sooooo tiny. Only 5 pounds 1 ounce when you were born. But so full of fight, life and vigor. From before you were born to even now. I feel your essence all around me.

Today has been a tough day, but it helps to share stories and memories of you. I'm sharing this blog with our friends and family today, and asking they share right back. I hope it doesn't make them too sad, but instead brings the joy of the good memories it has brought me.

I love you, miss you and hope to dream about you tonight, my darling, special little boy.

1 comment:

I love this forum Lynn. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings, of course you knew how many people are out here thinking of you and Shaun everyday:) Your letter reminds us all of how lucky we are to be parents and how precious every minute we spend woth those children can be. Keep sharing, your strength inspires me.

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About Me

On September 12, 2009 I gave birth to a perfect, precious little boy - Connor. My Peanut. And we had him for 500 magical days. On January 26, 2011 he died without warning or explanation (SUDC). This blog is all about Peanut and the amazing impact he has had on everyone he touched.