So long, Zed: New guidelines say last letter of alphabet should be pronounced ‘Zouble-you’

OTTAWA – Experts at the Canadian Institute of Alphabet Studies have released new guidelines saying the 26th letter of the modern Latinalphabet should be pronounced ‘Zouble-you.’

“It’s a great day for alphabetology,” says Cameron Mayweather, the letterologist who wrote the new guidelines. “I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say this is the greatest breakthrough in alphabet sciences since the discovery in 1997 that Wye (y) could be used as a vowel.”

Mayweather hopes that the new guidelines will put to rest the ‘Zee versus Zed’ debate that has rocked the alphabet community for years.

“It’s understandable that no one discovered this until now, antique texts can be really hard to read because some of the esses look like effle-yous,” said Mayweather.

The Institute is now turning its attention to the search for the fabled lost 27th letter, a squiggle that represents the sound when you belch partway through a word.