Before I begin, I want to give a huge thank you to The Indie Book Butler for featuring The Dark Proposal on its website and social media, as well as interviewing me for its site. Thanks Paul!!!

OK, here goes…

Vampires seem to be the envy of many humans. They get to be immortal, have superpowers, be beautiful and sexy, and have access to endless wealth and glamour. Being a vampire sounds fun, although it some cases you miss out on the sunlight.

But what if being a vampire is not what it is cracked up to be?

A couple of years ago, I came across an article on how death makes life more meaningful. Without it, life is pointless. In other words, immortality brings on aimlessness, boredom and humility. After all, if you were to live forever, what would you live for? Most people hope to achieve certain things before they die, and spend their lives working on their legacy. If you were always going to be around, then what’s the point of leaving behind a legacy? Instead of being concerning about how you’d be remembered, probably all that will concern you would be your reputation. And that will depend on the politics and social norms of the vampire world.

Photo byRikard Elofssonvia Flickr

I found this PDF from the Journal of Philosophy of Life, which most likely discusses the article I found two years ago. In it, the belief that death gives meaning to life are discussed. Although it is pointed out that many people spend their lives running away from death and live like they’ll always be around, the idea that death haunts us into making our lives purposeful is seriously pondered. Such suggestions as death being a motivator for us to do something with our lives, or to do good towards others, or to be less bored with living in itself, are talked about here. Give it a read, I highly recommend it.

Anyway, finding and reading that article two years ago motivated me to work on the sequel to The Dark Proposal. Because it got me thinking on what would it be like if you were immortal. I had always thought if I were to be immortal, I would have endless fun and live a hedonistic, laidback life. I would have nothing to fear because death will never come to me.

Now, I portray my vampires living that way. They’re very hedonistic and don’t have much goals except for defending their kind, becoming as rich as possible, drinking blood every night, having sex in so many styles, and so on. Yes, some have jobs or live artsy lives, but that is seemingly to pass the time, to blend in with humans, and to make money legitimately. But they have no goals to work their way up the workplace ladder or anything. If any of my vampires had such goals, it would be to work their way up the hierarchy to become Defenders of the Blood (more about that another time).

But that’s about it, though. When it comes to love and relationships, there is no “till death do us part” because death just isn’t thought of for vampires, even though it is a possibility. Therefore, there probably wouldn’t be a lot of relationship goals, so to speak, since these beings have eternity. There is also no children to bear and raise, so nix that idea. And since there’s no pregnancy or threats of STIs, then there’s hedonistic sex galore in this world!

With that in mind, it sounds like a vampire would be coasting along in life, doing a few things here and there just to pass the time and to secure the existence of vampires. Their world is completely separate from humans, and they don’t think much of the humans they are feeding on. Humans are the source of consumption; no need to get involved in their world unless it benefits the vampire’s.

So, with all this mind, what would be the meaning of life for a vampire? What would be the point? Endless fun may get boring after a while, especially with nothing being taboo. Defending the existence of vampires may prove worthy, but then comes the question of what is the point of being a vampire? The way I wrote my vampires, it is to escape death and be godlike. Basically, vampires live in fear of death and being weak. That is what motivated the Five Brothers to bring forth vampirism, though they didn’t realize what they were getting themselves into; they just thought they were going to be blessed by their ancient tribal gods to be just like them. Instead, they were cursed with not being in the daylight for many centuries, and to spend eternity warding, and fighting, off humans. All for what?

Furthermore, it also must be lonely to be a vampire. Being surrounded by the same group of people for centuries must get irritating, though I could also imagine, it would be heartwarming since you’d have a long history with all these beings. As Daniel told Claire, they are a tribe.

So, living in harmony, side by side, for centuries, living in complete hedonism and on guard to defend their kind. And once it is safe to venture into the sunlight more and more, a vampire would discover humans are evolving in a way to fight them off more and more. Technology and knowledge keeps developing, and soon, a vampire finds they are unable to fight off humans, and the true death awaits.

That’s basically the crux of my vampire trilogy. I cannot imagine life being a charm for a vampire. It could be on the surface, and on a shallow scale. But deep down, at its core, a vampire’s life has little meaning.

In that way, the vampire is cursed. Cursed to live a life without life.

For me, as a spiritual person, it means to recover from past mistakes by undoing them through better deeds, better actions, better attitude, and everything better all around from what you did wrong – with what you did wrong fully in mind.

We all fall short, and we all make mistakes. And we all have to pay or fix those mistakes. But when it comes to redemption, to me at least, we redeem ourselves from major, life changing mistakes that take our life’s path in a totally different direction. A direction that we did not intend, yet were too blind by something to not realize that we were going to veer off course.

Image by Maria Morri via Flickr

I’ve been down that road, and there’s nothing quite like looking back and wondering why I took the road that took my life in a direction it should not have gone on.

The good news is, I’ve been getting back on track and fixing my life, and becoming someone who I was meant to be, rather than running away from my potential and talents. What I’ve learned is that there comes a point in life where you simply cannot doubt yourself anymore or else you’ll have more problems than you need. Plus, you never really grow. Since I value personal growth, I had to learn the hard way that insecurities are really limiting, and I had a choice to get over them or give them up if I wanted a better life.

So I made the choice to give them up, and now I’m setting on a more better path for myself. Too bad there are lots of consequences that I have to deal with, such as starting over again professionally, financial sacrifices and consequences. But I am more at peace with myself, and where my life is headed.

I hope for the same for my main character, Claire McCormick. Some of you may recall in the first book of my trilogy, she made a lot of mistakes that led her onto a path she couldn’t really get off of. Now she is stuck in a life she never wanted, but ended up on because of her flaws and naivete. Granted, she’s a young girl, just 22 years old and just out of college. Like many at that age, she thinks she can survive easily yet is wrought with insecurities. And she paid a heavy price for her actions.

The second book of my trilogy will focus on Claire’s redemption. She is not the same person she used to be. Aside from being a vampire, she’s been through a lot and is now more unsure of who she is and where to go in this life that she didn’t ask for. That uncertainty is ripe for either self-destruction or self-redemption. However Claire chooses her path determines not only her future, but the future of the vampires, which is growing increasingly insecure with modern technology.

Redemption can be fun. It can also be scary. It can be painful. It also can be relieving. Either way, I believe when one is committed to redemption, it is a journey filled with new beginning and painful endings, great reminders, and agonizing truths. But its a path no one can ever avoid, no matter how hard we try.