Friday, August 31, 2012

"Oh what a night, Oh what a night. Straight shots of Patron and a slice of lime. And I got myself too drunk to drive."-Elle Varner

That used to be me, particularly in my mid-20s and when I lived in Mississippi and Georgia.

Do you want to know what my original plans were for tonight? I was going to have a "me" date after spending last weekend with my sorors and just having a looooooooong week. Seriously I would've lost my head if it wasn't attached to my neck. I know this because I lost everything else. It was definitely time to just enjoy being by myself.

Anywho after earning myself a date with myself, I was supposed to take myself to Mellow Mushroom, watch the Think Like A Man DVD, and end the night with a really great orgasm. Wanna know the only thing that happened? I purchased the DVD. This date was an epic fail. Only I can find a way to give myself a raincheck. However, I did spend a nice chunk of the time speaking to my friend who had been in the hospital so that's a good reason.

Still, I can't help but think that maybe I need to make more of an effort to get out in Columbus on the weekends. Possibly with shots of Patron or some dark liquor. However, I still plan to make the "me" date happen eventually. I deserve it. LOL!

Thursday, August 16, 2012

For some reason during this conversation, I actually decided to share with my mom a portion of what I had been thinking recently. And of course, she shot down the idea.

For some women, their mothers are their biggest supporters in their lives. For me, I would have to say my mother is the biggest naysayer in my life. It's very rare that she will support something as I'm going to it, but she is often the first one to pat me on the back and brag when I have completed the task.

After years of this, I realize that I shut down as soon as any idea of mine is dismissed or someone puts down anything I put forth that I care about. I have been noticing it more around friends and even in meetings. If you deem my idea idiotic or treat it as a nonfactor, I pretty much opt not to say anything else.

So now, even though I have boasted on this blog about living a solo lifestyle socially, I think I may move in that direction in a service capacity as well. And who knows what will happen with my job. But trust that just because I'm not say anything, it doesn't mean I'm not doing anything. ;)

Monday, August 6, 2012

"You don't think that I'll be strong enough. No baby now. I won't be the prisoner of your love. I'm just not the girl you thought I was."-Mariah Carey

Yesterday, I had a conversation with an old college friend who is getting married next month. We talked about everything under the sun including her telling the guy that could never even commit enough to be called an official "ex" that she was getting married.

The funny thing is it had been a few years ago when he "decided" to let her go and said she deserved to be happy. Well his very awkward response to her announcement indicated that he may have been eating those words. Of course, he "let her go" but I don't think he thought there would come a day where she would become "permanently unavailable." Yes, "getting married" is heard as "permanently unavailable" to anybody with a strong attraction or affection for you who has any kind of morals. And honestly dude acted like he never expected such a day would come. Oh well.

In some strange way, getting your heart broken hurts like hell during the process but sometimes you come out better. For one thing, being the victim of a breakup pretty much means you are pretty much forced to get over it. And after putting in all that work and possibly therapy, there is very much no sense in returning to the scene of the crime. Also, you were never the one who made the "decision" so you really don't have that to mull over. You eventually become free from the person who placed you in that situation.

The other person often doesn't get that. Since they are the doer, they must hope and pray that they made the decision with all the finality that they thought they did on their end. And they don't really have anything in the beginning that they initially feel they have to bounce back from. They just better hope no feelings creep up down the line.