Yes YOU! You did it Jake! You were an awesome player in high school, even while struggling with a diabetes diagnosis.

You were a fantastic Badger!

So proud of you!!

And a good brother to sister Betsy and to brother Nick!

Congratulations Jake!!!! Whew! Glad the A to Z challenge is over and Jake got on an NFL Team. Go Saints! I also got an agent for my novel and hope to be the next one in the family to get a big contract! All glory to God!

In my A to Z blog challenge, I wanted to wait and blog a “Y is for Yahoo,” but thought of this Y post instead. My hope is to post a yahoo later. For now, I’m posting “Yours.” Here’s why:

Today, with anxiety and anticipation, I wait to hear if my son Jake will be drafted into the NFL. It takes me back 22 years when I was admitted in the hospital and with anxiety and anticipation, I listened to the doctor. He said, “You will most likely miscarry.”

It had been a rough morning. Crimson bed sheets. Cramps. Telltale clots. Didn’t look good four months into my pregnancy. The doctor offered zero hope.

Shortly after he left, a nurse entered the room, not checking me physically, but examining my emotional state. “Have hope,” she said, before she patted my hand and left.

Though I never saw that nurse again, her words sparked hope and ignited my first grown-up prayer. It was simple. “My baby is yours, God.”

I was young, scared, and needed someone way bigger than me to deal with something I couldn’t handle. I remember telling God that though I wanted this baby with all of my heart, whatever the outcome, I would trust Him. If the outcome was not what I wanted, I would be sad, but I would still trust that it was His will. It was a decision. A prayer.

After the prayer, a wave of peace washed over me. God gave me an immediate answer. When another nurse came into the room, I heard Jake’s heartbeat for the fist time.

A few months later, when Jake was born and I looked into his eyes for the first time, I was sure I glimpsed Heaven in those eyes. A look of wisdom of his knowledge of where he’d just been. He connected with me, peered deep into my eyes and cooed. The moment stunned me. I felt as if the coos were a thank you for the prayers I’d offered months earlier. Then, in an instant, the look in his eyes switched to that of an innocent newborn.

From that moment, I knew God had a purpose for Jake to be born. I also realized that my prayers would be an important part of his life. When he was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes in his teens, and my anxiety would get the best of me, I would again tell God, “He is yours.”

Today, as we wait to see if Jake is drafted in the NFL, I remind myself to let go of my anxiety and pray the same prayer I offered twenty-two years ago, and repeated many times: “Lord, He’s yours. Whatever the outcome, he belongs to you.”

The story behind the photograph: My husband and I were staying with our friend, Father Joseph Matthew (administrator), at a quiet private novitiate in Rosemead, California when we discovered this image on the courtyard sidewalk. The date was January 1st, 2012 (feast of the Solemnity of Virgin Mary, Mother of God). Our son, Jake Byrne (Wisconsin Badger) was playing in the 2012 Rose Bowl in nearby Pasadena. The rose (notice the rose theme) is a symbol for the Virgin Mary, who is also called the Mystical Rose.

Father Joseph Matthew, whom my husband has known since childhood, had been watering potted plants on the sidewalk. He testified that the water, staining the sidewalk, had formed this image above. The circular mark in the center bottom was where the pot rested.

We were in Rosemead because of Jake’s football game. Jake had started for the Wisconsin Badgers for the last four years and after the game, he would leave college and enter into training camp to prepare for the NFL Draft.

Jake, diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes, has worked really hard to get to this point. He’s always been a determined, thoughtful, kind, and faithful son. (You can read more about Jake’s determination here.)

Back in January, standing before this image of Jesus and the Virgin Mary, I prayed to God, asking Mary to also pray and intercede for a blessing for Jake as well as blessings for other loved ones.

If we can ask our friends to pray for us, and we, as Christians believe in eternal life, then I see no reason why we can’t also ask the Virgin Mary to pray before the throne of God, for our intentions. She, after all, bore the Son of God in her womb. And not only was she a follower of Christ, she watched him suffer and die an excruciating death on the cross for humanity. She felt the pain a mother would naturally feel for her son. She must love us all so very much, to stand by and watch something I could not imagine watching, especially if it was my son. I hold the Virgin Mary dear to my heart and consider her my Mother in Heaven, a saint above all saints.

Tomorrow begins the NFL draft and it goes until Saturday. We are hoping for a victory, for Jake to be drafted.

I am a mother, praying for her son. Surely, the Virgin Mary understands that.

Weird, but this morning I woke from a dream about a beautiful unicorn. I have no idea what that means, but I took it as a good sign. I googled dream meanings, and it said dreams of Unicorn mean hidden strength. And did you know Unicorns are mentioned in the Bible, several times, including these:

KJV Numbers 23:22 God brought them out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn.

KJV Psalm 92:10. But my horn shalt thou exalt like the horn of an unicorn: I shall be anointed with fresh oil.

And I found this online: Unicorn: the unicorn — mentioned in the Bible, by the way: see Psalm 21:22, 28:6 (Psalms 22 and 29 in the King James Bible), 92:11; and Isaias 34:7 — is a symbol of chastity and of Christ Himself. Medieval legend had it that the unicorn, a feisty and fierce animal, could not be easily hunted, but if a virgin were to sit in the forest, the unicorn would find her and lay its head upon her lap. The hunter could then come by and take its horn, which was seen as having profound medical qualities (for ex., it was said to eliminate the harmful effects of a poisoned liquid). The picturing of a virgin and unicorn together, then, was common during the Age of Faith — the former representing Our Lady, and the latter representing Christ, Who brought forth the “horn of salvation.”

And because it’s NFL DRAFT WEEK, I’ll just post this link to a unbeleivable, but true story (from my blog) about a little baby (my son) who kicked open an incubator door, was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes, then went onto play college football at the University of Wisconsin. (If you read it already, at least pray and root for Jake, as he has chance to get drafted in the NFL.) Draft process begins Thursday. I’ll keep you informed through my blog and twitter. And if you want to read more about Jake, I also write about him (and other stuff) in these posts:

Q is not such a difficult letter to blog about. What a quintessential time in my life! In my quest to become a novelist, my novel, Crooked Lines, made it as a quarterfinalist in the Amazon Breakthrough Novelist Award. I am waiting for April 24th, for the semi-finalists to be announced. Even if it doesn’t make it, I’m glad it made it this far. It’s going to be published soon, either way. Here are the first few chapters downloadable for free on Amazon.com.

I am also quite excited about another upcoming date. April 26th is the NFL draft and I’m waiting to see if my son, Jake Byrne, gets drafted. A news article mentioning Jake came into my google alerts yesterday and it mentions my blog as well. Quality stuff! Scroll down to Wisconsin Tight End Jake Byrne, and the reporter actually has a link to my blog post from J: Jake and Juvenile Diabetes.

Questions. Questions. I can hardly quell my joy! Will my novel make it to the semi-finals? Will it be a bestseller? Will Jake be drafted in the NFL? What team will pick him? Stay tuned for an exciting end to this A to Z challenge. R is next. Hope there will be some rejoicing!

In the hospital room, I threw another shredded, soaked tissue into the trash. Tears had been gushing from my red, puffy eyes non-stop for three hours. My newborn son was about to have a blood transfusion. Jake was my first-born. I didn’t realize babies weren’t supposed to be yellow until it was almost too late. His soaring bilirubin counts even incited fear in the doctor. “Get him to the ER now!” she had ordered over the phone, after learning his test results.

Two nurses prepared an IV to be put in his head. Then came the crash! I jumped and nearly choked on my sob. The nurses gasped. We all turned around stared at the incubator with dropped jaws. The glass incubator door had swung down.

Jake had busted open the door. Totally true story. He’d squirmed a bit sideways and kicked it open. I have no idea how. Neither did the nurses. I guess he wasn’t having any of that blood transfusion stuff. I quit crying. My boy was going to be alright.

Turned out Jake’s bilirubin counts, at that point, began to come down and he wouldn’t need the blood transfusion. Jake grew up a happy, loving, big boy, with extraordinary strength, even doing chin-ups on the swing-set at age four.

In his sophomore year of high school, life changed for Jake. He was diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes. But Jake didn’t want a pity party, he wanted to play football. He had dreams of earning a football scholarship. The doctor told him if he took care of his health, he could still play. That’s all he needed to hear. The picture below shows him thinner, at the time he was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

“Maybe God wants me to have diabetes for a purpose,” Jake would say, whenever I got weepy over his illness.

When his coach hinted at him being on steroids when he quickly began to beef up, he said, “No coach. I’m on insulin.”

Jake kept moving on, going the extra mile in work-outs, preparing for the next game. I never saw a child so determined. He never doubted he wouldn’t realize his dream to play college football.

Jake recently completed a four years football scholarship at the University of Wisconsin as a starting tight-end.

My type 1 diabetic child is now preparing to kick down the door of professional football. He had a great Pro Day and is now awaiting the NFL draft. Watch ESPN on April 26 to see what happens.

Before his Pro Day, I told Jake, “You’ve worked really hard. You already own the talent and skills necessary to go that next step. Pray and go. You’ll do great.” He confidently said, “I will Mom.”

Psalms 37:4 says, Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.

God gives all of his creation gifts to succeed and achieve the dreams of their hearts. Consider David standing before that Philistine giant, Goliath. That’s what I call maximizing every gift God gives you to conquer the impossible. Don’t doubt. You can’t burst through doors by staring at them or leaning against them weeping. You gotta kick them down sometimes.

With prayer and determination, I’m busting through the door that says, “Novelist.” That’s my plan. I’m going to do it! Jake is my inspiration.

I don’t remember the dream, only the worried face that popped into it. Jake. My four-year-old. Why was his face in my dream? Minutes later, a tap on my shoulder woke me.

“Had a bad dream, Mom,” Jake said.

I lifted the covers, pulled Jake close, and kissed the top of his head, amazed at this strange connection that allowed my son’s fears to travel from his dreams into mine.

Mom’s have connections like that with their children. Sometimes a prickle of worry regarding one of my kids will flash in my mind like a sudden rainstorm pocking up a calm lake. I stop, drop, and pray. Most times, I discover those feelings were on the mark, and my child needed prayers.

Jake had dreams of becoming an NFL player. What little boy doesn’t? Then as a sophomore in high school, he was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes. Jake refused to accept it as an obstacle. He wanted to play football on a college scholarship. He pushed himself hard: extra workouts, more discipline, never missing a practice. Jake gave his diabetes and his football dreams to God.

“Maybe God want’s me to have diabetes for a greater purpose,” Jake often expressed.

For the last last four years I’ve watched Jake start as a tight end for the Wisconsin Badgers. (Jake Byrne #82) Now, Jake has an agent and a good shot at the NFL.

Like my son, I proclaimed lofty dreams when I was a child. I wanted to be a novelist. I held onto that goal, learning and improving my writing skills in spite of rejection letters and self-doubt obstacles along my path toward publication. Now, an agent is reading my novel.

Jake and I aren’t sitting back, biting our nails as we wait for our dreams to happen. I’m working on my second book, blogging, and preparing to become a novelist. Jake’s preparing for the NFL draft.

If a boy with type I diabetes can work hard and become an NFL player, then his mom can be a novelist. Lofty goals? Fairytales? NFL player and Novelist. Sometimes we just know what we want and with God’s blessing, hard work, a little God-given talent, and support from others, it can happen.

Mother and child connections. Funny we’re both, at the same time, standing at the cusp of our dreams becoming reality, ready to wake up and be the people we were meant to be.

Follow my blog as I share about connections, hope, and writing. I’ll keep you posted about my book and other books to come and how Jake fares in the upcoming draft.

Me

Done this: Regular freelance ghostwriter and online editor for Guideposts for Teens/Sweet 16 Magazine, creator/editor of a magazine for Wal-Mart Corp., journalist, newspaper features writer, published in a variety of national magazines and local newspapers, script writing/editing for corporations. Doing this now: author of fiction and nonfiction, blogger, and editor of Koinonia Magazine. I’m the wife of Rt. Rev. Leo Michael, an Anglican Bishop in the Holy Catholic Church-Anglican Rite. Mom to three great kids: Nick (#81 Rajin Cajuns), Betsy, and Jake (#81 San Diego Chargers) Also, enjoy my travels extensively across the United States and internationally.