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The Little Things in Life

I have been wanting to blog for a while now. As a child I loved writing in my diary and I think that many forms of the arts are becoming lost in an ever-evolving society geared toward simplicity. My daughter, Krysalyn, recently discovered my diary and watching her read through it was very fulfilling on many levels. I loved to watch her connect with my 3rd -6th grade self. She laughed at my mishaps and silliness and lately, if my 9 year old daughter is laughing then all is right in the our world. Being 9 years old is tough, guys! However, the digital world seems to conquer all now. Holding a book in your hands is no longer necessary with Kindle and e-books. Drawing a photo-realistic portrait is a tedious task when we can simply snap a shot with our digital cameras. Hashtags and abbreviations have taken over the English language making it asinine to the current generation on the rise to write in complete sentences. Society seems to be headed toward Idiocracy at an insanely fast rate and there’s very little that will slow the process. So for my sanity and in order to hold the torch for the art of the written (typed) word, I decided to start a blog. It’s what all the cool kids are doing anyway. Additionally, my boyfriend and I were recently discussing the crazy things my son says and does. At one point I said: “We have to start writing this stuff down!” I can’t tell you how utterly depressing it is that I have missed out on so much of my children’s lives so far. It’s something that my ex-husband LOVES to hang over my head amongst other things to attempt to make me feel small. I know in my heart and soul that I have had little choice but to miss out — I’ve busted my @$$ trying to make ends meet since they were born; sometimes working 2-3 jobs. Every time I did something fun or for myself I felt guilt because of his words – ” you never see your kids.” With another (and possibly my last) child on the way I want to capture these life moments more frequently. I yearn to not ever forget the way my children laughed or even cried when they were young. I want this blog to hold me accountable to keeping up with their every move and how they grow throughout the years. I hope that someday they will read this too and remember how they were and how much their momma loved them. So, in the style of my friend Emily’s blog – this will be written to them…their future selves that is.

Westyn, oh son with your heart of gold. Never ever lose that “teddy bearness”. Your eyes are more open than the average adult – keep them open wide baby boy! On the contrary, Your ability to harm yourself by running into walls and falling onto/off of things would not fall into my open eyed theory. You recently fell onto yourself and broke your arm on a trampoline – 2nd broken bone in a year dude! However, you see people and things without judgment. You love NO MATTER WHAT. Your ability to bounce back whether physically or emotionally is such a beautiful part of who you are! This morning, James leaned in to smell your breath – this is a common exercise we do with you considering you have tricked us in the past with improper dental hygiene. He didn’t tell you he was checking your breath, he just leaned forward – and your reaction ? You planted a kiss on his nose. My morning wasn’t going so great considering one of my favorite television shows had been spoiled via social media. I also didn’t get much sleep because baby Clara thinks that keeping mommy up in the wee hours of the night is fun. However, when James came to tell me about your sweet reaction to a breath sniffing, I couldn’t help but laugh and smile the rest of the morning.

Krysalyn- you are such a team player. Granted, you whine and complain a LOT…but I think that comes with the territory of being 9 and a girl (no offense to us girls of course). You have such a sensitive heart and soul and I tend to forget, more often than I should, that you are indeed only 9 years old. Just because you are so smart and emotionally developed beyond your years does not mean that you deserve to be treated like an adult. Another thing – I see me in you constantly & there is not one person on this planet that I am harder on than myself. I’m sorry that you catch so much flack for my inconsistencies. I will strive to not be so hard on you. You are beautiful, little girl, and it terrifies me. When you were looking through my diary yesterday I realized that my first big boy crush was in 3rd grade — YOU are in 3rd grade. I remember when I could still cradle you in my arms and now you are dressing yourself in stylish attire and talking back to me like a teenager. I love your spirit, your fire, your passion for life and art and all things creative. I love you beyond measure and don’t ever want you to conform or change who you are to please others. BeYouTiful!