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THE DIARY OF A CHICK WHO WALKED AWAY FROM ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS (THE CULT)

Go-Go Rach once was a girl whose world was controlled by the idea that she was POWERLESS. After a chain of events, she realized she'd been lied to. Now she does whatever she wants, whenever she wants, with whomever she chooses to do it with.

Her blog chronicles the horrors she experienced in the halls of Alcoholics Anonymous (THE CULT) and the wonderful things she does now that she's escaped. *IF SHE BIT HER TONGUE ANY LONGER, IT WOULD BLEED!*

Saturday, December 20, 2014

THOSE WEREN'T BED BUGS

Let's get a few things straight before I write this all-too-enlightening post: I definitely drink too much, smoke too much, curse too much and, indulge my anger way too much. Regardless of all of that, I am a God-fearing woman. I was saved in 2007, when my life turned to shit and, my walk has been nothing short of torture, yet, I still BELIEVE with all of my heart that the world is ruled by one AMAZING GOD.

He is all powerful. Almighty. And, ALL GOOD.

I came back to San Diego with little more than a wing and a prayer because I have been haunted by what I left undone.

My beloved Tolstoy's remains where stuck in a storage unit, surrounded by more beauty products, clothes and material items than one person could ever need that I accumulated in service to pure greed, from various places set up to serve the homeless population of Asheville, North Carolina.
All too much stuff was piled on top of a scooter I accepted in haste from a Step-monster who refuses my calls to this day - she is just another member of a "family" I realize now served one purpose only: to bring me and my hope to GOD'S world.

Thank you.

The good news is that, although missed greatly, I no longer use hard drugs.

Although I skate the line of wanting more than I like, I am much too afraid to indulge in what I now believe are gifts from the most disgusting demon whom I refuse to name.

The bottom line is this: I have experienced the torture of the beast first hand. The war is real. Believe it.

Although I fled from my roommate situation in East Lake due to bed-bugs, I now sit in the condo where I thought I'd experienced a second attack without any wonder of what happened to me.

I had to come all the way back here to understand.

I'll never forget the feeling that over-took me that fateful night, when the dark one appeared. Per usual, I was smoking meth. It was three in the morning when an overwhelming feeling that something horribly bad had joined me. It over-took my entire being. I smelled it. I saw it. Everywhere I looked the image of evil was there.I knew it was the other him (or a zillion minions).

Without an ounce of fear, I proclaimed my owner in the strongest language possible. I am a child of God, I said.

Yes, I am deep in sin now, but no matter what you do to me, I will ALWAYS BELONG TO HIM.

Get behind me.

I am covered in the blood of Jesus.

By the power of HIM, I REBUKE YOU.

It wasn't enough.

I was attacked mercilessly. The scars of that struggle cover my body.

It was ugly. Never-ending and the bitter end of a life or death deal instigated by me.

At eighteen years old, I was very confused about everything. I made an offer that seemed appropriate at that young age: GOD or ......, whomever can make me rich, skinny and famous shall have me.

I became all of that...

During my romance with meth amphetamine, I met many people who had done the drug for years, including a cook who stopped when a demon congratulated, then thanked him for his help in the utter destruction of humanity.

I was only able to last six short months before I was in the midst of what I once thought was purgatory.

Thank God.

Praise God.

There were no bed bugs.

Only demons.

All for Gods Glory.

Amen.

As I've mentioned on this blog, I often wonder if my life is meant to serve humanity as an example of what not to do.

Probably.

Definitely.

The Bible states: "Blessed be the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our afflictions, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we are comforted by GOD. (Corinthians 1: 3-5)

AMEN.

I came to San Diego with very little money, no clue where I would stay or, how I would accomplish what I needed to do. I pray. A Lot.

Everything has worked out.

Beyond my wildest dreams.

GOD IS ALL GOOD.

There are not demons here in the very place where I turned over all CUNTESSA stole and that I got back to something beneath every single one of us, while I wondered why the experience was so devestating versus my control over my life on coke.

Now that I have matured in my Christianity, my consequences make perfect sense.

I was baptised shortly after my run with cocaine ended.

Does this make me perfect?

Absolutely not.

I am human, after-all.

What it does make me is filled with THE HOLY SPIRIT, which increases my desire to turn away from sin in service to GOD'S purpose.

My Tolstoy Has Gone To Heaven

COMMENTS POLICY

You people are ill equipped to contribute to any intelligent conversation on my site, as long as you subscribe to dogma and lies.

Your comments are trite and boring and do not belong here.

Also, I will not allow you to assault my readers with the filth and perversion you call "well."

Please Note: I did not ask for your advice, yet you keep coming back in your precious free time away from meetings as a way to indulge the feelings you used to drink or drug over.

I encourage you to get some authentic help with your issues so you may get to the bottom of why you've replaced your substance abuse with the incessant need to troll the internet for places to spew your insecurities and rage.

Why bother with such a waste of time?

Some are sicker than others.

I do not welcome, nor appreciate your obsession with me.

I put up with your insanity for much too long as a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. I have a right to protect myself from those of you who insist on doing it here.

Go-Go away now and get some help before you find yourself in jail, dead or in an institution.

With love and an epic internet hug.

I do hope you feel better soon.

Go-Go Rach

SOMEONE WHO HATES YOU NORMALLY DOES FOR ONE OF THREE REASONS. THEY EITHER SEE YOU AS A THREAT, THEY HATE THEMSELVES, OR THEY WANT TO BE *YOU!*

*SMOOCH*

Thanks for stopping by. I've got *MAD LOVE* FOR YA. XXX Go-Go Rach

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"http://gogorach.com by @gogorach it's a must read & that's all there is to it. Go now...read Rach."@22DanielleM

@Drifter0658@hargarmoopy Drifter, thanks for posting this link.. Just spent an hour reading the best blog I've read all year.. No kidding! :)

BIG, FAT THANK YOUS! XOXO

HEADS UP, PEOPLE!

THIS IS THE DEAL.

THE SUBSTANCE IS *NOT* THE PROBLEM.

The *REAL* issue is whatever pain the abuser needs to kill.

The substance of choice works (until it doesn't).

If we take the pain out of the equation, substance abuse will disappear.

POWERLESSNESS is a billion dollar business that has spread across our hearts and minds like a venom.

The "disease concept" kills people, lives and families every single day.

Labels LIE.

Ask "WHY?"

It's your life.

How do you want to remember it?

Don't get "sober."

Get WELL.

Revolutionary Recovery, baby!

Go-Go Rach Says:

ONE SPOKE.THEN, ANOTHER SPOKE.WE ALL SPOKE.AND IT STOPPED.

CHANGE IS COMING.

*BUCKLE UP*

"There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein." Walter Wellesley "Red" Smith

Get Me

I am a grown woman with a foul mouth, sharp wit, and lots of stories to tell. I will never apologize for what I write, or how I write about what interests me.

Life is not all roses and butterflies; I am fascinated by the darker side of it and the fucked up shit people do to each other in the name of "love."

I find it incredibly humorous when people read my work (over and over), then bitch about it, as if I have, somehow, tricked them about my content.

Finally, this blog is not about healing for me. I've moved well beyond the need or expectation that I might heal from the way I've been betrayed.

There is no healing from the shit I've been through.

Instead, I choose to embrace and accept the pain as a vital and appreciated part of myself.

I am a writer. I write. It's what I do and will continue to do until I take my last breath.

Until that time I will always call to the carpet the injustices I see via stories about the perpetrators. If you don't like it, don't read it.

If we behaved better, I would have nothing to write about.

That's What's Up.

“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.” August Wilson

"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win." Mahatma Gandhi