Tuesday, March 21, 2006

So I came home yesterday after skipping the lunch time visit, which is never a good idea, and found what could only be described as a crime scene in my living room. Imagine if you will. Two dogs, a Norfolk Terrier and a Welsh Corgi, both of questionable lineage are sitting around in a well decorated apartment. Hazel, the terrier, starts to get bored as she is always inclined to do. I imagine the rest of the story goes like this.

"Hey Duncan, I was just in the kitchen and noticed that Mom and Dad didn't shut the pantry door the whole way.""Really, did you open it? Because I don't think you should get in there.""Hells Yes, I opened it. Come check this stuff out."

As Duncan comes into the kitchen, Hazel has stuck her head into the pantry."Check this out. I found those Piss Pads the old man bought when he thought he could stop me from popping a squat in the dining room. Lets tear them apart."

As British slapstick music begins to play, Duncan and Hazel begin to demolish a few pee pads and the baking soda that is inside of them explodes out onto the rug."Gee Hazel, this stuff tastes horrible. I need to wash out my mouth."

As Duncan goes to the water bowl he hears Hazel bark, "Bones." By the time Duncan can turn around, Hazel has stood up on her back legs and pulled an entire box of Weight Control dog biscuits down from the first shelf of the pantry.

"If you want to get rid of that taste, you should have some of these D.""Well, Don't mind if I do."

The rest of the day is spent lying in the doggie beds and casually munching down treats. Having looked at the pee pads again, Hazel gets an idea.

"Hey D, check this out. We're going to be in sooooo much trouble as it is, I figure now is the perfect time to leave "Daddy" a little present."

Hazel stops and leaves one tiny little log by the fire place for Dad to find. Duncan rolls over in bed to see her gift as he casually flops another biscuit into his snout. They both giggle nervously as they await 5 o'clock and the return of Trinity.