Milton Bradley to the Phillies: Crazy, or Crazy AWESOME?!

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The Phillies have dropped three straight and their lineup continues to be a source of inconsistency and fan agitation. As a team, the Phillies are squarely in the middle of the pack in all major hitting categories, including slugging percentage, on-base percentage, home runs, and evening gown wear.

All this mediocre batting has prompted at least one writer out there to ask: “Hey, what if we brought in Milton Bradley, who is legally insane?” And that writer is NOT me. Again, I don’t want my car keyed. It’s Kyle Phillippi, who writes:

Charlie Manuel is a player’s coach, and maybe he’s got what it takes to set Bradley straight. If the Phillies’ front office feels that Manuel can handle Bradley, I wouldn’t be surprised to see them make an offer…

I’m not saying that Bradley would change all that and give the Phillies a solid contributor from their outfield, but at a time when the offense is providing little run support on a daily basis, something has to change in the lineup.

Maybe Bradley is that change.

Before being run out of Seattle last week, Bradley was hitting a robust .218 with two home runs. TWO WHOLE HOME RUNS! Why, he’s like a one-man wrecking crew! Last year, Bradley hit an astounding .205 with eight home runs over the course of a whole year, and didn’t even play in half of the Mariners’ games. In fact, Bradley’s notoriety as a hothead and a raving lunatic has actually helped him mask his incredibly underwhelming career numbers. Bradley has only played in more than 100 games four times in a dozen major league seasons. He’s only hit more than 20 home runs once. He’s never had more than 77 RBIs. But if you want someone to threaten an ump or get into a verbal altercation with your team’s manager, color guy, and receptionist simultaneously, well then Bradley is your man. There’s a reason he was on track to make $13 million this year, you know.

So here we have a notorious malcontent who isn’t even a good batter and is clearly in the waning years of his career, just like Raul Ibanez. Maybe signing Bradley makes absolutely no sense for Philly. Then again, maybe that’s why it’s a GENIUS move! Maybe it’s such a colossally dumb idea that it can’t help but subvert your expectations! Right? Right?