Can some one help me

Wendy - posted on 02/10/2009
(
10 moms have responded
)

9

0

0

We have two girls age 17 and 16 yr old girls and would love to adopt I would really like to have another child. I can't have any more and my husband has none of his own so can any one help me find what I need to get started.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Mary Jane - posted on 02/19/2009

25

9

3

We started on several different paths. First, we went through DCFS (Department of Child and Family Services) in our county. Because I had never been a mother before, I realized this would not work for me. However, I have several friends who have fostered and adopted through DCFS and they have been thoroughly blessed by their children. They have a "flex-family" program where children 0-5 yrs old (the ones most people desire to adopt) are placed with foster families who want to adopt them. The parents have 18 months to COMPLETE their program to be reunited with their children or their parental rights are terminated and the foster family can adopt. These children are considered very adoptable, which is why those families get them. This was very affordable - usually costing the adopting family no more than a few hundred dollars.

Another path we took was using a family law attorney who dealt directly with birth moms. Amazingly, this was the second most affordable way to go, as our attorney did NOT pay birth mom expenses, but charged a flat fee. We did have to pay for our "homestudy" separately, however. The downside is that you go on a waiting list and you just don't know how long it will take.

Lastly, we went with a private adoption company (ours was called Premier Adoption out of Utah - but they take in birth moms and adoptive families from outside of Utah). Our adoption agency was able to place a child faster than our attorney, but the cost was much higher - the good news is that President Bush had increased the Child Adoption Credit from $10,000 to $15,000 - which helped us alot! From the time that we finished our paperwork and the adoption agency put our "portfolio" out to birthmoms (the birthmoms get to pick you, so there is no "waiting list" - it just depends on how a birth mom responds to you based on a family portfolio you put together) to when we were 'matched' with a baby was an astonishingly short 4 1/2 months!!! Our daughter was born 3 months after we were 'matched.'

We were blessed with a beautiful baby girl and were able to be in the delivery room when she was born (I actually held the birth mom's legs and watched my daughter be born!) and we left the hospital with her when she was 1 1/2 days old! Utah has the best pro-adoption laws in the country (the birth mom only has to wait 24 hours before she can sign off on her parental rights, which are irrevocable, and if she is not married at any time during her pregnancy, the state does not require consent from the birth father). Because we were out of state, we did have to stay in Utah for nearly a week before the inter-state agreements were signed and we finalized the adoption in our home state - but we didn't mind that part.

Anyway - the short answer is, check with your local DCFS and find out what kind of program they have. If that is not what you are looking for, then find a good and reputable Family Law Attorney who specializes in adoption and get on their waiting list ASAP and find a good private adoption agency (Premier Adoption, Catholic Charities, etc.) and get the ball rolling there!

Good luck and I hope you find the blessing that adoption truly is! I cannot for the life of me imagine what my life would be like without my daughter in it!!!

10 Comments

View replies by

Anne - posted on 07/18/2012

13

0

3

We adopted two children through foster care, but it was a really hard road. We had fifteen different placements, before we were able to adopt our children. One child we had for almost two years and he went back to his birth father! It is program that does alot of good, but it is very hard emotionally for the whole family. I know people who are really happy with Lifetime Adoption center.It is a non-profit out of California, but they work with families and birth moms nationwide. They do open newborn adoptions and it is nice to see happy endings! I support their charity . They complete about 160 adoptions a year. God bless you in your journey! I love having a big family.AnneMarie

your local dfcs office is the best place to start out of state adoptions are a headache for dfcs workers they say its sooo much paper work and red tape cause its state to state become a foster parent first that way u have a inside view on all the kids up for adoption b4 others.

We decided to do foster care with a hope to adopt. I have two children 15 and 17 and my husband has none. We have been together 5 years and were unable to conceive. Instead of spending tons of money on finding out if it was me or him, we decided foster care. WE knew we could not afford tens of thousands of dollars to adopt privately. And for us it was the perfect choice. We are in the process of adopting our first placement. She has been with us 2 years and we are only about a month away from being finalized. And we also have her baby sister who is 10 months and she has been with us since birth. Of course we are hopeful we can adopt her also.

The others say it all. There are so many options and each one has it pros and cons. Talk with a local adoption agency Private or state. They will be able to tell you the ropes and give different websites to consider as well. You can also use "GOOGLE" and enter in types of adoption to get the general information. Good Luck to both of you on your journey.

Your first part of this journey is to figure out if you want to adopt, internationally, through the state, or private. They all need to be researched, to figure out what works for your family. Internationally is very expensive, waiting time, never have to worry about bio parents, but God forbid, you need their medical info, later on in that child's llife. State, your adoption is paid for, placement is crucial, and you always have access to records. Private, long time, you need to be chosen by the mother. There is also surrogancy, depending on your husband's capability of sperm production. All these need to be researched by you and your family. Figure our what will work for you. I adopted through the state of RI. I have friend's who adopted through Russia, and a family member who adopted privately.

We have two girls age 17 and 16 yr old girls and would love to adopt I would really like to have another child. I can't have any more and my husband has none of his own so can any one help me find what I need to get started.

We contacted Catholic Charities locally with our second adoption (and we aren't catholic), with our first adoption, we went with a private company, Adoption by Gentle Care here in Ohio. Both were wonderful. Our adoptions were mixed race children - - -no long lines at the check-out - - -our oldest daugher, we waited about 3 months for and our youngest daughter we were surprised at about 3 wks with. Not a long and drawn out waiting period. Same Homestudy legnth and depth. But we were simply interested in parenting. Other than "healthy", we didn't have any stipulations.