Umm... Well fluffy I usually dont go and read but I heard you needed a review so I am here to also help you. I dont know if this is an older story of yours and you have improved? But there are some things you really need to look at. Your description. you need more of it.

The writing seems a little bare, it needs a little more feeling into it to get people to enjoy it more and feel there pain, love, sorrow and fear. I know this was meant to be fluffy but it was a cliche and wasnt really canon {Canon = Real Character personality}.

I wanted to give you a few tips but I bet you have improved extremely with the description and if not, hopefully you will from now on. Because I can sense the talent you have, its just sometimes you need someone to put you back on the right path. No blood shed? It wasnt meant as critiscm but help, I hope you took it the right way.

Gracias,
Lady Serendipity

Author's Response: Well, I'm glad you read because i do need the help and i appreciate it. Its a month or so old, and its been beta'd but i havent really changed it.

I know, description, one thing i have never been good at. :( My beta mrs_heather_grint, aways rags on me about description. So im working on it.

My writing is bear? By that you mean more description and feeling. I guess. Eek I wasnt hoping for it to be cliche :( or OOC thats something ill deffiently work on.

Well, I wish i was improving fast but it is coming slowly. Yay I have talent or a little.

Okay, thank you so much for your help. It really helped. And yup, no blood shed. I took it the right way.

I enjoyed some of this fic. It's another of your well thought out fic plots.

But again, you made it rushed, it lacked vital detail and emotions, they're wasn't much action either, if I were you I'd have them moving more between they're talking. Hermione was slightly OoC at times.
I enjoy reading your fics but try to slow them down, you added some infomation that wasn't really usefull or added anything to the fic. Try to get rid of some of that and add more detail, thoughts and feelings, keep OoCness in mind and it will naturally become a longer more enjoyable fic.

Madi

Author's Response: GOOD, yea i had to think about this one alot.
EEK I didnt mean to rush.
Hermione OOC im not quite sure.
Well thank u for your advice and for R?R ing

Really really sweet.
But WHY is it so short!!!
It would be better if it was longer.
Nicely written.

~HLJ~

Author's Response: Aww.. Thanks for saying its sweet and well written. I realize the longer it is the better - in some cases- so ill try and do better next time. Anyway thanks for reading and reviewing!

Very Very Very rushed slow down a bit, take some time to describe the scene the characters thoughts. It did slow down a bit at the end. very cute though. I like it. I think you could expand though. keep writing!

That was very short and very extreamally corny. You jumbled up all the charectors personalities. Very rushed. Hermione just starts crying out of the blue with no warning. In think you need to work on your speach. And make things LONGER! LONGER I TELL YOU! Otherwhys its ok. Well dont. And I hope your future fics are much better than this.

CarrotStix

Author's Response: Okayy........It was corny, So i take it you didnt really like it. But thank you for your review Fics will be l onger in the future.

Things I liked: 1)Your dialog tags. Descriptive, present when they're needed, not when they're not - great job, there. 2)You used proper capitals in the story, despite not having them in the title. I'd been nervous, but the story proper was fine. 3)Great plot idea, that Hermione won't just fly into his arms, they have issues to work through, first. (Although I would have liked to see Lavender mentioned.) Things I think you can improve on: 1)Half the time Hermione calls Ron, 'Ron', the other half he's 'Ronald'. It gets kind of confusing - could you just pick one and stick with it? 2)You have three instances where one character speaks continuously for more than four lines. This is a personal pet peeve of mine, as when I have fights with people, we never manage to be quite that elegant. Having things laid out a little less neatly and thoughtfully would make it seem more real to me. Overall: Though a few things pulled me out of the moment, this is a decent piece. Cute, fluffy, and predictable, but fun. :)

Author's Response: WOW. Thank you for the review. My dialoge tags. were good? WOW thanks! Im glad you thought that my capitilazion was good. Its all thanks to my beta mrs_heather_grint! Im glad you like the plot.
Ron and ROnald well i didnt realize it was confusing. Well sorry if its a l ittle to elegant. Overall: THank you very very much.

Cute and sweet. The only thing I'm not crazy about is Hermione calling Ron "Ronald" all the time. Just doesn't seem like her. Oh, also, what happened to the big alarms when the boys try to go into the girls dorms??? ;) Nice job!

Author's Response: Thank you so much... I thought that hermione called Ron Ronald when she was annoyed. About the staircase... well its the head dorm i just didnt think about that

This story was pretty good, but it was rather confusing. Everything happened really fast, and I didn't really understand it, until I went back and re-read it. And since when did Hermione call Ron anything but "Ron"? This story has a lot of potential, but I think you need to have more details in it!!!

But nonetheless, I still enjoyed the story!!!

Author's Response: AHh... thank you. Was it confusing? I dunno. Well thanks for saying it has potenital it made me happy. Well im gald you enjoyed
kat