M.O.M.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Pride, Prejudice and Poop

Last night, right after putting the kids to bed, I decided
to pull out a double sided easel with a chalkboard on one side and a dry erase
board on the other.Now that the weather
is cooler and since I’m not a fan of messes and therefor blessed with many each
day… I moved it from its hiding place in my bedroom to the playhouse outside.I loaded up a plastic Easter bucket with their
driveway chalk and set it up for them to play with.

(Before) I'll not show after. I <3 y'all too much.

Being that I’m getting older and my mind is no longer what
it used to be… I forgot about it.So
this morning when Little Man came running back in the house just 5-minutes
after asking to go outside, I was prepared for some tattling on little sister or fussing about
it being too cold. (For a Texas toddler
that’s anything under 65 degrees.) Instead he ran straight for me, hugged my
leg and said, “Thank you mama.Thank you
so much.”And then ran back
outside.

I was pleased that he wanted to hug and thank me, but couldn’t
think for the life of me why he did.Then I popped my head outside and saw him and Blondie scribbling all
over the picnic table and decking with the chalk.No worries, it washes off easily.So glad I didn’t include dry erase markers.It comes off the board easily enough, but
would have been permanent graffiti on the walls, table and flooring.

So, I went outside to show them how the board worked, but
didn’t bother to tell them to stop writing on the wood since it wasn’t doing any
damage.They seemed pleased with the way
the chalk worked better on the board, but seconds later they were back to the
table. So inside the house I went
to finish cleaning up from breakfast and sneak in a little more reading.(Yay for a new Jane Austen inspired book!!)

After a chapter or two and a few concentrated listens for squeals,
screams or the dreaded silence I got another cup of coffee, cozied back up on
the couch and started to read some more.I was quite satisfied with my brilliant idea to pull out a new toy so
late in the season.*This was a
Christmas gift I was holding on to. I’ve
said it before; I’ll say it again… I’m cheap.Or should I say frugal?That
sounds better.Either way had I pulled
it out in January it would have been destined for Goodwill or the dumpster by
now.So I’ll go with brilliant.;)

So I’m back in my modern day Pride and Prejudice when I hear
screams of delight.Another pat on the
back; “Well done, you rock at this mom thing.”And then Blondie comes running in the house continuing her screams, but
it’s not delight like I initially thought.Close behind her was Little Man and a fist full of… was that mud?No, what isn’t grass is mulch in our yard… so
it must be… damn it "NO!!!!"

“So help me son if you touch anything in this house I will
lock you outside until your dad comes home.”He looks at me with a grin, and then at his sister, “Do NOT touch your
sister either!!”

So off to the sink we go.Hands washed, stripped down naked so I decided to bath him, for the
second time in less than 15-hours.After
his bath, and a new outfit I decided to investigate.Sure enough, where there was once chalk on
the table, walls and floor… it was now his own custom blend.:/

I decide to hose everything down, so of course I can’t get
the stupid sprinkler off the hose because The Husband puts everything on like
it’s going to be launched into space and has to be air tight.Heck, it might even be welded on for all I
know.So now I have to lock the kids in
the house till Husband comes home for lunch and can replace the sprinkler with
a pressure nozzle.

Tommy came home at lunch and fixed the hose for me. I got after the wall with a wire brush. Peeled some of the paint off, but anything to get the poop off. :/ Fed everyone and putting the twins down for a nap now. I'm going to read dang it!

Hi! I found you through the Blog Hop. I've enjoyed your blog, and poop stories are the best. Well, you have to be a mom or in the direct care field to appreciate poop stories, but when you do, they are funny.

Hi there! New follower here, found you via the TGIF blog hop. This post was just what I needed to read today! Thanks for the giggle, and *cringe* at the poop! I had to clean poop up today and it is definitely my parenting kryptonite. It ruins me every time. Great writing x

My husband has the same "fear of the stratosphere" !!! Our little hasn't finger painted with it, but he doesn't have a sister to chase with it either. He is, however, extraordinarily proud of his poop. Couldn't tell you the number of times I've heard "Hey! You gotta come see this... and bring a candle!!!" -pynk

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!! *Shakes fist at the heavens.* I'm so sorry. I do not miss the poop days. Definitely been there (poop art on the bathroom wall - ugh). I'm here from the Friday Blog Hop and happy to find you!

Stopping by from the Blog Hop. Wow, I thought the crayon I was cleaning off the wall this morning was bad! I hope the rest of your week is better! Luckily, my youngest only uses crayons (and a Sharpie once or twice when I forgot to put it back in the childproof drawer). He does like to tell me what his poops look like, but lucky for me has never played with it. (Fingers crossed, knock on wood...)

I am soooooo thankful I've yet to have a poop story to share, with a 5 and 8 year old. Notice I didn't say I've never, because with my youngest, anything is possible, and one day there might be another.

This is too funny--loved the way you ended it, too. You're a good writer and you gave me a good laugh this evening!! Newest follower from the hop on your GFC. Would LOVE it if you could stop by my humorous blog site and follow back the same way--I'd be very grateful if you could! Thanks for sharing!! http://Menopausalmother.blogpot.com