Meeting Held: Tuesday 12th March

The Union met on Tuesday 12th March. An Election, Private Members’ Bills, and a formal debate were heard.

Readers are reminded that members do not necessarily speak for their true political positions: The Union values the ability to make arguments that one does not personally hold as their own opinion.

Private Members’ Bills

THIS HOUSE WOULD Mourn the death of the Auditor

The motion is proposed by Ryan Myles, who suggests that the members wear black clothing, possibly including underwear. All motions following the death will be dedicated to the deceased. Occasion is rare, and the lives of all have been touched by the Auditor.

Dr. Michael Keary opposes the motion, pointing out that the principles must only be created if they stand in most circumstances. Possible that the ethical principles of the auditor are in conflict with the concept of mourning: such as the current Auditor, who is dedicated to the notion that other-motivated actions (such as mourning) are immoral, he rejects duty. Tito is dedicated to evil, so we must do things for destructive and amusing purposes: such as desecrating his corpse.

Andrew Gordon supports the motion, telling the house that Tito is too dangerous to be kept alive, as he is about to be surrounded by children who he can indoctrinate. Assuming he is not a robot, we should mourn him, so that his spirit is aggravated, rather than bowing down to his preferences.

The motion passes by popular vote.

THIS HOUSE WOULD Teach swearing as part of GCSE English

The motion is proposed by Chris Denman, noting that we can teach creative and constructive swearing. Thoughtless swearing is boring. Chris questions whether or not we should seek to avoid being offended, preferring a socially acceptable form of anger release.

The motion is opposed by Tallis Ward, pointing out that swearing is intended as a shock, and the shock is lost when it is normalised.

The motion is opposed by Zach Virgo. Zach tells the house that swearing is built up regionally and culturally as a rebellion against social norms, and that imaginative swearing is already the standard used to measure swearing quality.

The motion fails by popular vote.

THIS HOUSE BELIEVES THAT Public sector employers should not allow workers to do union work during their employers time.

The motion is proposed by Daniel Blackburn, pointing out that paying somebody to do union work might legitimise their efforts, yet cheapens the rationale for union existence, making them not wholly independent from the employers. He tells the house that he left the rest of his arguments on a piece of paper at home.

The motion is opposed by Andrew Gordon, who claims the motion will increase the divide between workers and unions, and weakens unions when they are at their weakest. The status quo shows respect for the wishes and legitimacy of the union