Why Mummy Doesn’t Give A ****! by Gill Sims

Family begins with a capital eff.

Book Description

I’m wondering how many more f*cking ‘phases’ I have to endure before my children become civilised and functioning members of society? It seems like people have been telling me ‘it’s just a phase!’ for the last fifteen bloody years. Not sleeping through the night is ‘just a phase.’ Potty training and the associated accidents ‘is just a phase’. The tantrums of the terrible twos are ‘just a phase’. The picky eating, the back chat, the obsessions. The toddler refusals to nap, the teenage inability to leave their beds before 1pm without a rocket being put up their arse. The endless singing of Frozen songs, the dabbing, the weeks where apparently making them wear pants was akin to child torture. All ‘just phases!’ When do the ‘phases’ end though? WHEN?

Mummy dreams of a quirky rural cottage with roses around the door and chatty chickens in the garden. Life, as ever, is not going quite as she planned. Paxo, Oxo and Bisto turn out to be highly rambunctious, rather than merely chatty, and the roses have jaggy thorns. Her precious moppets are now giant teenagers, and instead of wittering at her about who would win in a fight – a dragon badger or a ninja horse – they are Snapchatting the night away, stropping around the tiny cottage and communicating mainly in grunts – except when they are demanding Ellen provides taxi services in the small hours. And there is never, but never, any milk in the house. At least the one thing they can all agree on is that rescued Barry the Wolfdog may indeed be The Ugliest Dog in the World, but he is also the loveliest.

My Thoughts on Why Mummy Doesn’t Give A ****!

It was over a year ago that I read a previous novel by Gill Sims called Why Mummy Swears “The Struggles of an exasperated mum”. I loved the brutally honest and devilishly witty writing style and couldn’t wait to read Why Mummy Doesn’t Give A ****! which is the third installment in the series.

The main character in the book is Ellen a ‘forty-something’ working woman with two teenage children. Ellen’s life has moved on and she finds herself single for the first time in two decades. The book covers Ellen’s tentative steps into dating and the trials and tribulations of becoming a single parent to Jane and Peter. Far from Ellen’s dream of pottering around her cottage-like Felicity Kendall, she actually spends her time moving the pictures to cover the damp. The children are now stroppy, demanding and alwayshungry. Even the ‘chatty chickens’ she acquired show nothing but disdain for her!

I love, love, love this book. Yes, it’s full of swear words, but they are just the same ones we utter under our breath when we stub our toe or burn the dinner (is that just me?) You can literally hear Ellen’s voice as she rants about the absurdities of life with teenagers and you get a wonderful feeling of empathy and warmth towards her.

Why Mummy Doesn’t Give A ****! is relatable, funny in a clever and super sharp-witted way and just impossible to put down.

Thank you to the author and Harper Collins for a copy of the book which I have reviewed honestly.