Quotable Country – 04/19/10 Edition

I think I’m close to John Travolta. They knew what a good dancer I was, so they wanted to put me over by John, you know. ●– – Alan Jackson on his Hollywood Walk of Fame star.

The new approach we are going to be using is six songs at a $5.99 price point. It’s going to be in Walmart and will be just another piece of goods in a traffic flow. ●– – Tracy Lawrence is jumping aboard the Six Pack train, and waxing poetic about his art. “Just another piece of goods in a traffic flow” – what a romantic!

Every now and then I check in and find something so unnourishing I just flee from it. … It’s embarrassing, especially if you know country music before that. ●– – Darrell Scott on modern country music.

I’m not the country music police or anything. (laughs) But sometimes I want to be. You know, it’s story-songs. Real country music, to me, is fiddles and steel guitars. That doesn’t mean that all good music has fiddles and steel guitars, but that’s what it is to me. ●– – Lee Ann Womack on country music.

Disney does some things extremely well. Country music is not one of them. ●– – NOW you tell us, Chet Flippo (on the closure of Lyric Street).

Sometimes a fan values one act above all others and he (these people are seldom female) wants you to know, after having seen your wonderful performance, that you are now tied for the rarefied top slot in his private pantheon. This is heartwarming news, right up to the moment when he tells you who the other act is — invariably it’s some disgraceful hack, the most blatant of charlatans, from whom the locations of recording studios, in a just world, would be kept in strict Area-51-level secrecy. ●– – Robbie Fulks riffs on well-intentioned fan comments.

I love punch lines in my lyrics. And I also love innuendo, sexual innuendo. I think it’s just hilarious, and you’ll hear it in my music. … And I think, [from] doing a lot of theater, I kind of gravitate towards that sort of — how do you say it? — gay sense of humor. (laughs) ●– – Laura Bell Bundy has a gay sense of humor.

I learned that Lady Antebellum’s Hillary Scott listens to Justin Bieber’s music to get pumped before shows. […] And that Eric Church brings real wine glasses with him on tour so he doesn’t have to drink wine out of paper or plastic cups. ●– – Alison Bonaguro on things learned from the latest issue of People Country. You know, I think Hillary Scott might have gotten off cleaner in this round. What kind of an outlaw insists on real wine glasses?

I just love them. Especially onstage, because I think it’s kind of fun when the spotlight hits you and your dress, for a millisecond, blinds people. ●– – This just in: Taylor Swift likes sparkles.

The strongest things are the songs, and my band, and the weakest thing’s me! You hear great songs and great playing, but you have to trudge through my singing to get to the songs. Other than that, I think it’s a great album. ●– – Tim McGraw on his current album, Southern Voice.

I’m not selling them down the river, saying this is the worst establishment on the planet, but at the same time, it kind of is, and the songs that make it, the state of it all, it’s pretty bad, so maybe I’ve hurt my chances. I don’t know. I’m not lying, and everybody knows the fact is that what is going on on the radio is pretty much BS. It’s a tough gamut in rock and country. Country’s in a horrible place, because there’s this whole side of country that always rears its ugly pop head every five years and perpetuates the state of it staying in a shitty place all the time. ●– – Shooter Jennings on country radio.

I look pretty bad in a mullet. I practically had a mullet back in ’93. You go, ‘Why am I not selling any records?’ Just look at your picture, dude! ●– – Kenny Chesney’s baldness has deprived us all of 3D mullet action.

I can’t wait to see him in 3D. He’s ugly enough in 2D. ●– – Tim McGraw on Kenny Chesney (who he apparently has only seen in pictures).

Lady A also brought its A-game, winding everyone up with its latest single, “Stars Tonight,” which mixed in a little of the guitar from Pat Benatar’s “Hit Me With Your Best Shot.” This is a country band that lets it love for rock ‘n’ roll shine right through. ●– – Here’s a novel idea: How about a ‘country’ band that doesn’t?

Although Ty has no plans to slow down his career in country music, this project represents an opportunity to share his story of hope and personal renewal with a new audience, as well as his loyal fans. ●– – Ty Herndon is releasing an inspirational album, but don’t you dare think that his country music career (?!) will be slowing down (?!) as a result.

CMT, which stands for Country Music Television, has a dance-competition reality series in development from producer Phil Gurin (The Singing Bee). According to the Hollywood Reporter, the hour-long show will combine video clips of people from across the country paying tribute to famous dance scenes with their own interpretation (gah!) with onstage performances by amateur contestants, who will perform their rendition of the same dance before a live studio audience (aggggghhhh!). ●– – EW’s Annie Barrett has the correct take on upcoming CMT programming.

“Maybe this will change things,” [Hank III] said of the Pulitzer citation.
The Grand Ole Opry does not allow posthumous admission or readmission, Opry spokeswoman Darlene Bieber said Tuesday. ●– – Will a Pulitzer convince the Opry to add a deceased legend to the cast of its live radio show? No such luck.

At this stage in my life, I plan on writing pretty much everything I record. ●– – Tracy Lawrence. Uh oh.

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Comments

Re: Eric Church and his wine glasses – just more evidence that Eric Church is a poser and one of the biggest phonies around. He’s my least favorite act of the moment. So annoying how he goes around blathering about how “outlaw” he is when its such a fraud. Maybe he thinks he’s an outlaw cuz once he jaywalked in front of a cop or something or maybe because he played too long and too loud on a Rascal Flatts tour. Whatever, Eric Church. You’re a phony, a fraud, and to boot you have a bad voice and write crappy songs. The sooner this guy gets sent to Branson the better.

Gay men are notoriously lewd. They do tend to use a lot of sexual innuendos. I’m guessing it’s easier to understand what she’s getting at if you know a lot of gay people because you can more clearly see the difference. It’s hard to explain, and I think I’m making it more confusing…

Oh yeah, I saw some “gay humor” on Fox’s “GLEE” last week when lesbian actress Jane Lynch playing cheerleader coach Sue Sylvester took a dig at Sarah Palin on the program. Sue was chastising two of her “Cherrios” for being among the most stupid girls she had ever been associated with, except for the time Sarah Palin attended one of her summer cheerleader camps as a girl. Yeah, that’s classy butch dyke humor at its best…

I’ve always wondered what sort of person reads the People Magazine Country issues? Alison Bonaguro answered that question for me once and for all…

I sort of agree with Shooter Jennings about mainstream country music. Only difference is I find his music even more annoying than the stuff he is talking trash about.

Has anyone else noticed that when Taylor Swift makes public comments they usually sound like something a 13 year old girl would say? I guess it makes sense as she wants her words to be easily grasped by her core audience.

The SPIKE cable channel used to have a reputation as being low class, but I think CMT is trying to sink even lower! Who in the heck watches that dreck? Hmm…