Ranking The 50 Hottest Dudes Of The "Harry Potter" Movies

A definitive, inarguable list determined with science and hormones by 10 of the world's foremost experts on cute boys. In order from less-hottest-but-still-hot all the way to call-the-department-this-girl-is-on-fireeeee:

A SEX BEAST AND YOU KNOW IT. He can transform into a rat which is basically like the hottest thing ever and his hair is so wild and crazy you know it's been properly tousled. Missing a finger or two? No problem, there are still plenty left. -Lauren Yapalater

I know what you're thinking... purple turbans aren't your thing. But there's so much more to Professor Quirrell than his turban, stutter, and propensity toward evil. The man has two heads, and one of them is the sexiest Dark Lord of them all, He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Tamed, Voldy himself. Dating Professor Quirrel is a deal my friends, because after all, two heads are better than one. -Ashley Perez

You have to admit: There’s something undeniably sexy about squibs. They’re part of the wizarding world, but they’re also so aloof — like brooding Frenchmen. And Filch’s long-hair-don’t-care, just-rolled-out-of-bed style really adds to his mystique. I wouldn’t even mind sharing him with Mrs. Norris. -Erin Chack

You may think that Percy is a fascist. But what would happen to the world if there were no RULES? Chaos and crime, that's what. Anyway, you've never frenched till you've frenched a prefect. -Summer Anne Burton

Not only is Firenze a CENTAUR, he saved Harry's life when Voldy tried to attack him in the forest (RIP unicorn). His heroic actions and muscular bod make up for the fact that this is borderline beastiality. But if Belle could get away with it, then so can I. You can take me to the Forbidden Forest any time you want, Firenze. -Arielle Calderon

Where do I begin with the most attractive of Hogwarts professors? His smile? His golden, flowing locks of hair? His air of regal Shakespearean-era swagger? Sure, he faked his own tales of heroism — but I'd listen to him spin a million webs of lies if it meant I could spend one majestic night alone with him in the Forbidden Forest. (Before he became a permanent resident of St. Mungo's, of course.) -Whitney Jefferson

Guys, guys, guys hold on a second, let's talk about George freaking Weasley. Not only does has he got the whole one-eared tortured artist thing going on, but also he gets bonus points for, you know, surviving till the end of the series (sorry Fred). Bow to his Van Gogh-esque dark humor. -Krutika Mallikarjuna

Viktor Krum is 100% fine wizard beef. He is a muscle god, jacked up by countless hours spent on the Quidditch field becoming basically the greatest player of all time. Oh, and he fought some dragons at the Triwizard tournament, so... pretty effin' hot. Just think of his beautiful olive skin, wrapped in fine Bulgarian furs, riding a broomstick, and tell me he's not the hottest wizard ever to grace this earth. -Matt Bellassai

He's smart, witty, and definitely a little devious. Maybe it's his voice, or those gorgeous locks but if you didn't fall in love with him as he was hilariously commentating all those Quidditch games, then you probably noticed his troublemaker ways. (Yeah, that was him pulling pranks with Fred and George.) Why do the bad boys always pop out to you? Oh does it even matter? Pop pop. -Heben Nigatu

All we can do in poor Colin's case is imagine the hotness that could have been, a noble aim aided by actor Hugh Mitchell and his Slipknot T-shirt. Colin's interest in photography certainly would have led him to a life of shooting artful nudes of his many, many goth girlfriends. If only! -S.A.B.

Those tall ears and those wide set eyes that are as big as CD-ROMs, it's hard not to get lost in them. Dobby is the painting of perfection. There's so much going on up top that it doesn't matter he only reaches your knees. Plus he's got that gorgeous strand of hair that's perfect to run your finger over. -L.Y.

Marlon Brando proved it in Street Car years ago: Brutish, gorilla men are sexy. And with Crabbe and Goyle, it’s a two-for-one special. Sure, they’re not the brightest patronus in the bunch, but what they lack in intelligence they make up tenfold in caveman-level testosterone. -E.C.

Don't forget he's only NEARLY headless, which means his head is still somewhat intact and even though it can hang off his head like a loose tooth, one look at that transparent face and you'll melt into your boots. Plus he's light and airy and you don't have to worry about him getting fat because he's already dead. -L.Y.

Who needs a nose when your skin is as flawless and supple as Voldy's? No eskimo kisses here, just real passionate kisses like you deserve. And who says bald men aren't hot? Obviously they've never seen Voldermort and his perfectly rounded head. *quivers* -L.Y.

The ‘90s were right: Middle parts are undeniably hot. And they’re twice as attractive when they’re fun-sized, like Professor Flitwick. He’s so tiny, you could carry him around in your shirt pocket all day, close to your heart. Adorable! He may be Hogwarts' Charms professor, but he doesn’t need magic to put a love spell on this girl. -E.C.

Charlie is by far the most underrated Weasley, which is simply unacceptable as he is arguably the coolest of them all. Must we constantly forget that he lives in Romania and works with dragons? DRAGONS?! Is there anything sexier than a dragon tamer? No, there isn't. Basically, Charlie is the "Khaleesi" of the Weasley clan, which is about as awesome as you can get. -A.P.

HELLOOOOOOOO, blue eyes (no confirmation if his eyes are blue). This gentleman is like a fine wine, he probably tastes like dark cherry with a hint of blackberry. Also he gets better with age. Never has a ghost looked so ALIVE. -L.Y.

If you want to be properly touched, there's no better person to go to than a dementor, inventor of the KISS. This mysterious brooding man is like a perfect mix between bad boy and sensitive guy. Plus those black hooded robes are HOT. It's natural to feel a chill when you are around them because their good looks give you goosebumps. -L.Y.

Look, you're a dirty liar if you say you don't want a chance to run your hands through that luscious beard. Also he's basically one of the most powerful wizards to have ever lived, if that isn't attractive I don't know what is. -K.M.

Devoted father of seven and successful employee of the Ministry for Magic, Arthur Weasley is the DILF to end all DILFs. You can keep your Rons, your Freds and Georges. For me, the most delicious ginger biscuit is best served aged, like a fine red(-haired) wine. -E.C.

If you’re into long blonde locks, man ponytails, and malicious Death Eaters then look no further. Sadly Yaxley isn’t really into half-bloods or Muggles, but I bet with a little bit of charm you could “magic” your way into his stern, cold heart. Who doesn’t love a challenge, right? -A.P.

Aren't the tortured and flawed guys always the ones we fall for? Lupin has a dark tortured secret (he's a werewolf, lol), dresses like a paralegal Belle and Sebastian fan, and is sufficiently sexually ambiguous (girls love that) that Thewlis thought the character was gay for the first few books until he marries Nymphadora Tonks. Speaking of Tonks, they are by far the best couple in the series; they're like the Kim and Thurston of Hogwarts, without the cheating but more of the tragic death. -K.N.

Here are a few choice words to describe Minister Kingsley Shacklebolt: Tall. Dark. Handsome. Oh, I’m sorry, is that not everything you require in a man? How about: Brave. Powerful. Minister-y. You can Shacklebolt me to the bed any day, Mr. Minister. -E.C.

You know what's hot? Fire. You know who has a proclivity for pyrotechnics? Seamus. You may have laughed every time his conCOCtions exploded in potions class, but I bet you pumped your fist so hard when he and Neville teamed up to bring down the bridge in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Did we mention his Patronus is a FOX? That's because he's the foxiest Gryffindor there ever was. If we met IRL, sparks would fly. -A.C.

Harry is the classic "nice guy." Afraid to make a move, constantly friend-zoned, hangs out with the teachers in school, and only wins friends because of who is parents are. But if you can get passed all that, he IS a nice guy and looks decent in glasses. The perfect boring-but-reliable boyfriend. -K.N.

Fenrir Greyback is the guy your mom warned you not to date, but you just couldn’t help yourself. He is raw masculine sexuality, biting and devouring everything in his path. In the book, they describe him as muscle-bound to the point of busting out of his clothes and covered head-to-toe in thick, dark body hair. He’s the kind of guy who wanders into your fantasies, and for some reason, you let him stay. He’s going to be the subject of my first fan fiction: Fifty Shades of Greyback.-E.C.

Fred left this world too soon when he was killed. But it's important to remember that when he WAS alive, he had both ears, unlike his less handsome brother George. Those two ears balanced out a playful face surrounded by fiery ginger locks. -L.Y.

If you're a tween, you might find dopey-eyed moppet Ron Weasley attractive, or if you're a tween with problems at home, you might have a crush on Snape. But if you're a grown woman who wants a grown man, you want Mad-Eye Moody. He would smell of cigarettes and leather and hair that hasn't been washed for a few days. He doesn't have the body of Adonis, but who wants some gym rat anyway? Moody has seen and done unspeakable things, things when you ask about will cause him to give a far off look and not respond. -K.N.

Abe. Oh Abe. With a beard a silver as the moon and eyes bluer than the deepest parts of the ocean he is a glimmer of hope for all aging men. That first time his eye showed up in the mirror it was like little doves kissing us on the cheeks. Plus he's a hero to Harry and his friends, and if that doesn't seal the deal then you are a cold person with a heart of ice. -L.Y.

The Weasley closest to our hearts might have seemed like a bit of a wimp when we first met him, but that scared-out-of-his-ginger-head schtick belied a heart of gold and a super hottie. Once you see Ron roar, it's no wonder Hermione chose him over her panoply of suitors. WEASLEY IS OUR KING! -S.A.B.

Draco?! More like DROOL-O. His light hair is like a beautiful curtain flowing in the breeze and hitting you in the face because it can't be ignored. Yeah, he was kind of rude to Harry and basically tried to kill him and all his friends, but that doesn't matter, because even if you're staring down the barrel of his wand, you're thinking, "Man, he's fine." -L.Y.

While fans of the books were wondering whether Blaise Zabini was supposed to be a boy or a girl, Blaise the handsome wizard teen was going on with his bad self and not even paying the controversy any mind. He can "slither in" to my bed anytime he wants. -S.A.B.

If luscious layers could kill, then Severus Snape would be the world's most famous serial killer. Seriously professor, what potions do you use on those silky locks? It’s about time the wizarding world found out. But really, gorgeous hair aside, turns out Snape is quite the catch: He’s fiercely loyal (*cough* Lily *cough*), a prince (kinda), and right-hand man to BOTH Dumbledore and Voldemort. -A.P.

If Tina Fey taught us anything, it's that there's nothing hotter than a face scar. Bill got his battling a werewolf, so the six-inch cheek gash is really just a testament to his unrestrained manly bravado. Not to mention — dude's a freaking professional curse-breaker. Brilliant, brave, and ginger? I’ll give him something to Wease about. -E.C.

Oh, you're into bad guys? Well, Grindlewald is basically the baddest guy in the entire wizarding world. I mean, he got expelled from wizarding school for being wicked crazy. Then he stole the Elder Wand. Then he lied right to Voldemort's face about having it. That's about as bad as you can get. But also he's a beautiful angel. So win-win, really. -M.B.

Years before there was Twilight, there was Cedric Diggory: the sexiest captain of a Quidditch team in all of Hogwarts history. You know how Edward Cullen was a whining, moody sparkle-vampire who was no fun at all? Cedric was the opposite: a heroic, athletic Hufflepuff who you found yourself rooting for (even though he competed against Harry in the Triwizard Tournament). Admit it: You cried at his untimely death not just because it was sad, but because it was a crime that a wizard so hot could be killed so young. RIP, Hot Stuff. -W.J.

Hi hello, look at Sirius Black embody everything that you love about DILFs without actually being a dad and therefore too old for you. The fact that Gary Oldman is the man they picked to bring his smouldering, brooding, magical bad-boy charms to the silver screen is just... swooooooooooooooon. -K.M.

Let's not even front; Dean Thomas is the best thing to ever happen to Gryffindor and certainly the hottest thing flying around on a broomstick. (Um, chase me, please!) Tall, dark, handsome, dimples to die for and fights off Death Eaters? What more could you want? Oh, and, him and Ginny aren't dating anymore so he's definitely single, y'all. -H.N.

Is there really anything more to say about how drop-dead sexy Lucius Malfoy is? With blonde hair that flows like a platinum waterfall, blue eyes that could get you to renounce Gryffindor, and a badass silver cane that could knock you off your broomstick, Lucius Malfoy is essentially a sexier man version of his wimpy son, Draco. -A.P.

Sure, Tom will grow up to lose his nose and all of his hair and any sense of human compassion and decency. But there's something dashing in his dark, lifeless eyes and luscious black hair. And he keeps a diary, which is pretty frickin' adorable if you ask me. Plus, he really knows how to use that snake of his. -M.B.

Let's not even pretend McLaggen isn't the sexiest wizard up in this joint. His jawline should come with a "sharp edges" warning label. Did you see the way he licked his lips in an attempt to seduce Hermione? If she actually gave him a chance at the Slug Club Christmas party, she would've discovered he's a total Keeper. (See what I did there? SEE?) I don't need love potion to fall for this piece of man candy. -A.C.

Before Neville turned hot — which, let's face it, was a very real and unexpected thing that occurred seemingly overnight at the end of the movie series — we were all rooting for him to blossom from the duckling into a swan. When he stood up to Voldemort? A surefire panty-dropping moment. Those of us who had rooted for the awkward, orphaned underdog all along were given a massive reward: a sexual desire so intense for Matthew Lewis it could end only "when hell freezes over." -W.J.