The 2nd Iraqi Army Brigade has been tested on its combat readiness and is on their way to taking complete control over the Babil Province from Coalition forces.

The 2nd Brigade will plan and conduct independent operations without the direct support of Multi-National forces. The MN forces will still provide a quick reaction force in emergency situations, Medvac, and air support.

The 2nd IAB has taken part in five major military operations in the Babil Province, uncovering 90 weapon caches and detaining many suspects. The unit distinguished itself on Election Day (November 15th) by setting up 41 checkpoints and 12 mobile patrols, keeping the number of terrorist attacks to zero on that day.

Other Facts - Babil is home to 1.7 million people and "Babil" was once Uday Hussein's email password. (answers.com)

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Today's WSJ Best of the Web includes this gem:The above image is taken from a Moveon.org ad showing "American Soldiers" in Iraq. There's only one problem...the ad apparently features British soldiers, according to a US Army captain:

These are not your normal everyday U.S. soldiers though. If you look at the frame they are actually British soldiers. One is in shorts (we don't have shorts as a normal combat uniform) and the others are all clearly wearing British pattern fatigues. So, my point is that these [turkeys] pretend to argue on my behalf and bash the president in the name of my crying wife, and they don't even know what an American soldier looks like! Anyway, it really [ticked] me off.

As Glenn Reynolds once said, "Heh".

Update: My hawk-eyed brother and RFTR noted the moveon.org online ad I featured above had been photoshopped from the video to make the British troops look more Yank-like. I make the comparison below, click on the image for a larger view.

Now their suckiness is driving Jet fans to violence. Shawn Hundley and Thomas J. Conwell were some of the hundreds of fans who turned out for the Sunday night loss to the (2-8) New Orleans Saints. Both men entered the men's room wearing Jets jerseys, Conwell in a John Abraham jersey, while Hundley had his Chad Pennington jersey on. While taking care of business in the men's room, Conwell started taunting Hundley for choosing to wear the injury-prone Pennington jersey. Once outside the bathroom, Conwell stabbed Hundley in his face, neck and ears. A third man, Henry Finnila, tried to break up the fight and ended up with stab wounds to the neck and head. Chad Pennington was not injured in the melee.

George Zoffinger, president of the New Jersey Sports and Exposition Authority, is blaming the Jets 2-9 record for this incident and eight other cases where police were brought in during the last game. Zoffinger claims that, because of the Jets pathetic season, a "gargantuan" number of season tickets holders are giving away their tickets to people who would not normally be at the games.Even the folks at nyjets.com have given up, listing the wrong score for Sunday night's game. The Jets actually lost 21-19.

How ironic, The Alliance chose to pick on Cindy Sheehan's new book for the latest Precision Guided Humor Assignment. I'm sure the righties will blast her as an unpatriotic loon. Not me, I was chosen by the publisher (Tab Noom Publishing) to review the book and provide quotes for marketing purposes.

I found the book, Not One More Mother's Child quite entertaining. From it's start, the author really speaks to her followers on a level they can understand. I took the liberty of scanning in a few chapters from the book. Click on the image to the left for a larger view.

By the way, here are the quotes I provided for marketing the book:"If I needed 175 pages of anti-everything screed, I would have bought today's NY Times"

"This book has more anti-war clichés than a Michael Moore bowel movement"

The lines above are from Book II of Virgil's Aeneid, which covers the siege of Troy and basically means "Beware of Greeks bearing gifts". It is apparent that President Bush should put down "My Pet Goat" and read up on the Greek story of The Trojan Horse before accepting any more "gifts" from Iran.

According to the World Weekly News or "the news", our buddies in Iran sent a giant, wooden camel to The White House. Condoleezza Rice noted that the president plans on displaying the camel on the White House lawn and Rice wants to parade it down Pennsylvania Avenue as a sign of our friendship with Iran.

The wooden camel is 50-feet wide and 100-feet tall and is constructed with lightweight palms...but weighs 3 tons. "There must be a heavy iron framework inside -- or something," stated one White House spokesperson.

"I've got a bad feeling about this," said Senator Stanton Ansley of Utah. "All I ask is two days notice before the camel arrives so I can get my family out of the city."

The quote from Ansley in the story bothers me since the 2 Senators from Utah are named Orrin Hatch and Robert Bennett. Could "Senator Stanton Ansley" be in the plot as well? Now we have both a rogue Senator and a Trojan Camel to deal with.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Andy Warhol once quipped that everyone will have "15 minutes of fame". For one Nashville man, those 15 minutes had an extended run in bathrooms of bars all across Music City.

If you're from Nashville or have been drinking in Nashville, you probably know of DUI Mike, he offered his DUI-fighting legal skills on wall ads in bathrooms across the city. While I never needed his services, DUI Mike was always there...in the left stall.

Sadly, DUI Mike has died at the age of 57. Nashville bathrooms may never be the same again.

"I wanna meet George Bush, just shake his hand and tell him how much of me I see in him," -50 Cent

In an interview with GQ, rapper Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson went on to say that if he could have voted, he would have cast a vote for Bush. A felony conviction prevented "50" from pulling the lever for "dubya". Jackson sees Bush as a fellow gangsta and thinks the president is "incredible".You better check your roll, Kanye.

Is "fifty" a republican? If so, what type of Republican is he (South Central Republican, RINO, etc...)?

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Have a safe and happy Thanksgiving from all the folks here at GOP and the City.Programming note: There will be no Blogging on Thursday, there will be a caption contest on Friday. Until then, feel free to caption this image.

A couple of weeks ago some co-workers and I sent out a care package to a few soldiers in the 101st Airborne Division. I went through Anysoldier.com which is a great way to adopt a soldier and send them what they are asking for.

On November 21st, the 101st and the Iraqi 4th Army Division rolled up on some insurgents and captured 30 terrorists and a large stash of money, weapons, and material. Iraqi and American forces swept across Bayji Island in the Tigris River north of Tikrit and found stores of IED making materials, weapons, and RPGs.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

FORT MYERS BEACH, FL - Police accidentally hit a naked man in the genitals with a Taser after he was caught breaking windows and asking women to touch him, authorities said.

Jeremy J. Miljour, 26, tried to run away when sheriff's deputies approached so one of them shot their Taser, said Cpl. Matt Chitwood. But one of the gun's prongs accidentally hit Miljour's genitals and got stuck, Chitwood said.

Sometimes I wish that I were a cop. Maybe not a cop in Philly, but somewhere else.

Since the AP has not released any photos or video of the incident, I have recreated it on a DFilm production. You can view my creation by clicking on the image or here.

The latest poll to come out of Quinnipiac University is a little foul. Even though he has a 75% approval rating, Mayor Bloomberg is not high on New Yorkers plans for Thanksgiving dinner.

The latest Quinnipiac University Poll shows that a majority of New Yorkers would not want Mayor Bloomberg to eat Thanksgiving with them. The NY Daily News and the rest of the media glaze over the past results in favor of the current results. But, if you look at the trend of this poll, by 2006 a majority of New Yorkers would want a Republican mayor with a dull voice and liberal social positions to have Thanksgiving with them.

But for this year, if Bloomy wanted to find a household who wants to share some turkey, he would need to find a Republican household full of men in Manhattan. It sounds like it's going to be a fabulous Thanksgiving for Mayor Mike...in The Village.

Peter Marshall: In ancient times, after a battle, the losers would present the winners with a handful of grass. What did this symbolize?VP Dick Cheney: The losers were Democrats!-quote from Hollywood Squares

Drudge reported that CNN X'd over Vice President Cheney's face while reporting on his speech on Monday. CNN blames the marking on a "technological malfunction", while Drudge also reported that a control room staffer at CNN reportedly laughed during the malfunction.

Throw me in the camp of "not bias related". Now if a Whammy shows up in their coverage of President Bush, I'll know CNN's up to something.

Update: Someone posted this in the comments. CNN really is the Clinton News Network.

Just because Jonathan's fallen in love with a piece of wood, it doesn't make him a dummy.-tagline from the movie Mannequin (1987)

A teenager has been charged with indecent exposure after he was caught trying to have sex with a female mannequin on display at an arts centre. Security guards found Michael Plentyhorse, 18, sprawled with the dummy on the floor with his trousers and pants down.Police spokesman Loren McManus said: "There was inappropriate activity between him and the mannequin."-Sky News (2005)

Michael's going to have a hard time finding a prom date, especially if he's ordered to stay 500 yards away from the JC Penny's.

Some bloggers have blindly thrown their support behind General Zod for president in 2008. It appears that General Zod has been spending his time posting on his myspace page. Before you run out and list Zod as your friend on your own myspace page, just take a look at who you will be lumped in with (Non, Lex Luthor, Hillary, and The Emperor to name a few).

New York City happens to be a perfect political case study for what happens when one party is given too much rope to play with. The New York City Council currently has 3 Republicans, 1 Working Families Party member, and 47 Democrats. You can probably see where this is going.

By far, the worst member of the NY City Council is none other than Charles "I ♥ Castro" Barron. Currently, the city council is debating on letting non-citizens have the right to vote. While everyone has opinions on this matter, Barron let his racist tongue speak for himself. Barron quipped "White men just have too much power. They just don't want to give up on power." This is the same bigot who once stated that he needed to slap the "closest white person . . . just for my mental health".

From taking on Karl Rove, ignoring citizen's votes on limiting term limits, overruling the Campaign Finance Board allowing unions to donate more money to them, to having taxpayers fund campaign literature, this body is so slimy that I feel the need to wash my hands after typing this.

Top 55. Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto - The Man4. Dubya: "Hey there Seggy, I think I fell Offa your granddad." - Rodney Dill3. BUSH: "Wow, that kid from the show 'Small Wonder' really let herself go." - Wyatt Earp2. BUSH: Well, Tin Man, I got my brain, you got your heart... if we could only get the Democrats some goddamn courage we might win the War on Terror yet! - Mr. Right1. In another blow to the unions, the evil Wal-Mart is now buying robotic greeters from the Japanese, displacing American robots and and old people. - jimmyb

Photoshop EntriesThe Bush 3000 will be able to run the country for the next 10,000 years. It's seen as an improvement from the Clinton 2000 model, which kept shorting out whenever a female came near it.-The Man

Michael Jordan, Shaq, and now Guadalupe Elias have a brand of sneakers.

A legal immigrant to this country, Brooklyn artist Judi Werthein, developed a shoe for people trying to cross the boarder from Mexico illegally. For $215 you can purchase the hottest shoe on either side of the Mexican border, The "Brinco" (which means "jump" in Spanish). If you don't have $215 to spend on shoes, you can go to Tijuana, where the designer hands them out to illegal immigrants for free.

Features of "The Brinco" -Removable insole, with a map of the Tijuana area including the best routeto San Diego-small compass and flashlight-A packet of Tylenol-Aztec eagle on the heel, American eagle on the toe

The Brinco is made in China, where workers are paid less than $42 a month. That makes me want to ask the designer why she chose not make the shoes in Mexico, which would provide employment and a boost to the Mexican economy instead of China's.Other CoverageBBCNY Daily NewsNBC - San DiegoDiggers Realm

Rep. John Murtha (D-PA) has called for the United States "to immediately redeploy U.S. troops consistent with the safety of U.S. forces." Of course, Murtha is another Democrat who voted for the war.

Murtha, still being serious, uttered this statement: "With a U.S. troop redeployment, the Iraqi security forces will be incentified to take control,". Insurgents welcome Murtha's news and will be more "incentified" to take action against the Iraqi and American forces.

House Democrats will now be "incentified" to go and one-up each other with competing statements in a rush to get on camera. Their asinine comments the military and Iraq should slide downhill from here very quickly.

General Zod is running for President in 2008. But let me ask you one thing? Do you want a crackhead running our country? Here's an image from police surveillance tape of former Washington DC mayor Marion Berry smoking crack with none other than General Zod in a hotel room during a sting in early 1990. Zod is the one sitting on the bed, using laser beams from his eyes to cook a rock in his pipe.

Only one candidate has never been videotaped smoking crack in a seedy hotel room with Marion Berry, he is Angus Macgyver.

The 9th Carnival of Satire is up at the skwib. I submitted my post on the Macgyver/Bauer 2008 ticket, while the carnival author also linked to another potential opponent of the MacBauer team, General Zod. Now, I know that illegal aliens were not allowed to run for President. Does that apply to evil aliens as well? Regardless, my talking points memo from the MacBauer team includes some dirt on Zod which I will post about in an upcoming story.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Yes, the Mainstream Media or "MSM" is patriotic. Stop laughing! Are you done?

I took a poll* to prove this and 100% of those polled think the MSM is patriotic, that's up from 95% a month ago. Furthermore, 75% think the MSM is so patriotic because "Bush is stupid" and 25% cited "Halliburton"** as the reason the MSM is so patriotic.

The Democrats need an issue, unfortunately for our service members, that issue happens to be "pulling a France" and giving up on Iraq sometime before the 2006 elections. Except for a few members who refuse to eat some of Howard Dean's Salami or drink from Kerry's Kool-Aid, the rest of the DNC would rather see Iraq fall into Civil War than to face the prospect of being out of power after the 2006 elections.

This leads me to an email (below) I got from JohnKerry.com on his latest fundraising scheme. I could hardly get past the first paragraph without laughing out loud. The author cites four "democratic leaders" who are influencing the debate about America's future in Iraq. Those 4 "democratic leaders": John Kerry, John Edwards, Tom Daschle, and Patrick Leahy.

I believe America has spoken and 3/4ths of your "democratic leaders" were losers in the 2004 election. Two (John Edwards and Tom Daschle) have a better shot of becoming starting quarterback for the New York Jets than molding America's future in Iraq. That's a good thing for both Iraq and our soldiers, but not Chad Pennington.

I think the GOP should reply with an email about Gary Bauer, Lamar Alexander, and Doug Forrester's efforts to thwart Global Warming.

My entry blows the lid off Karl Rove's use of his patented weather generator to turn the media away from the Valerie Plame case. Plame it on the Rain, covers what the MSM knew but was afraid to report. Mr. Rove had it raining in 90% of the "blue states" while his cabal cronies in the "red states" were dry as the DNC coffers under Howard Dean. When will the MSM stop being the lap dogs to the right-wingers? Where's my tinfoil hat? Why is my underwear on backwards?

The GOP was kind enough to put together a video of some Democrats who have seemed to come down with topical amnesia when it comes to Iraq and Saddam Hussein. The video stars Bill and Hillary Clinton, John Edwards, and many more.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Eugene Peters was drunk and drove his SUV around a manned checkpoint at Newark Liberty Airport. Peters then spent 10 minutes driving around a road that has access to a secured runway at the airport. A TSA spokesperson stated that he could have driven onto busy runways and taxi areas of the airport.

The TSA has fined the Port Authority, who operates the airport, only $30,000 for this latest security embarrassment at the airport which was used by the 9/11 hijackers. On November 5th, a man was able to board an American Airlines flight at Liberty International without a ticket or boarding pass. The TSA is fining American Airlines $25,000 for that goof.

RelatedIn February, a woman was cleared through Liberty airport screening even with the 8-inch butcher knife she had in her purse.

The National League's MVP has gone to a steroid-abusing prima donna (Barry Bonds) every year since 2001. Finally in 2005, the award goes to a legitimate player. Albert Pujols is the 2005 NL MVP.

Albert Pujols is an amazing baseball player. Someday I'll tell stories to youngsters about how I went to sleep and missedPujols The Great's 2-out 9th inning game-winning bomb against the Astros in the 2005 NLCS. And there will be many more Pujols moments as his young career continues, much to the dismay of NL pitchers everywhere. Chew on this fact, Pujols is only 25, which makes him the youngest NL MVP since Ryne Sandberg in 1984.

As 2008 draws near, you'll see all sorts of candidates from both sides of the aisle stumble over each other to position themselves for a run at the White House.

Only one candidate knows the best route to Washington DC and he can get there with a toothbrush, some WD-40, and a pencil sharpener. According to the Macgyver 2008 site, only one man knows how important both a houseboat and a Swiss Army knife are to America and that man is Angus Macgyver.

Macgyver SolutionsIraq: a roll of toilet paper, a piece of coal and a bit of stringOsama Bin Laden: piece of chalk and an onion

While Macgyver has yet to name a running mate, I think one choice stands out above all others? Not Pete Thornton or Mr. T, but someone who has worked well with current and previous Presidents, Jack Bauer.

Coalition Forces nabbed themselves another bad guy. The leader of the New New Ba’ath Party, Hamid Sharki, was apprehended during a patrol on November 9th.

Sharki was also a member of the Old Ba'ath Party and is suspected of leading insurgent activities in the Diyala Province. So the New Ba'ath Party terrorizes and preys on innocent Iraqi citizens, much like the old one. Which brings me to a critical question: What is the difference from the Old Ba'ath Party and the New Ba'ath Party? Anyone want to take on that question?The capture of Sharki will hopefully provide information on the whereabouts of one Abd-al-Baqi al-Sa’adun who's suspected of helping with financing and recruitment of foreign terrorists in Iraq. There's a $1,000,000 bounty on Sa’adun's head. But, if the money is not enough, I'll throw in a sweet t-shirt (right) from my Cafepress site for free to the soldier, Iraqi, or Democrat who brings him in. Alive, good; dead, still good.

Monday, November 14, 2005

In October, I wrote about how New Jersey spent $260,000 to come up with the lamest slogan, ever. The slogan, "New Jersey: We Will Win You Over" did not sit well with me or acting governor Richard Codey.

Governor Codey issued a Call to Action for people to submit ideas for free, so I have listed the top entries collected from my post. Vote for the slogan that you think would be best for New Jersey or write in your idea for the perfect slogan. The winning entry will be put on a t-shirt or thong and placed on my Cafepress shop.