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I feel like im still lost somewhere between these two realms..
like im afraid to let myself go and enjoy the physical world, because i still feel like my spiritual one is in upheavel of some sort... im really confused..

ex. afraid to enjoy a physical object because i dont know what the object stands for or where it comes from...

i think im beating myself up for no reason..
its just when we dont have any way to be tested, we test ourselves, and maybe make the tests out to be ridiculously hard because we have no one to guide us and tell us that we're doing okay... argh...

I think I may be able to relate to what you're talking about. I've felt sort of like that for the past 6 months, it's been a real time for transformation..I like to think of it as spiritual evolution, but who knows. One thing that happened in the past week or so that is kind of exciting was that my third eye opened...it's true. It was after reading the Zhuan Falun, now it's always there whenever I look for it. That comes as kind of a relief, it let's me know that I wasn't kidding myself about this spiritual stuff.

All I can really say is that you are on the right track...even thought you might feel lost at the moment, that is all part of the process.

Rev: Could go into more detail about your Third Eye... Explain to me what it does for you, How you aknowledge its presence....

Grave -- I too feel suck, but in between, It feels like i dont have enough information about the spirt world -- or the reality of being a spirt without the physical....

See I don't think we should spend all of our time thinking about other states of being if we can't get through the one we are already in.....

It's funny some older gray bearded man is outside my dorm room changing the fire door on the stair case i live next too. He saw me walking back from the bathroom and tried to apologize for all the noise, but I said I didn't mind.

He laughed and said "YOu did want a new door didn't you?" == OH how right he was!!

--------------------"...and to the left where up is down now stand a zebra made of shapes of me and silver and the sun so bring no guilt with you up above the flatline let's just hit the sky exploding into one." [ HUM ]

Sometimes I just find it so werid to be alive and walking around. I try to be who I am and I try to give everyone the benifit of the doubt, but the problem is that we don't know everything so we can only make conclusions about everything we see and do.. That goes for ourselves and who we think we are.. we're always wearing a mask because we haven't really ever found ourselves... You can't realy ever find yourself ... Its just the same as another thread about Beliefs -- and how it doens't help to hold on to concrete beliefs, because it stops you from growning and expanding once you decide to truly believe in something... That goes for youself-- once you believe in yourself you can't grow

The closest I come to myself is by stepping out of everything and just viewing the world objectively -- even though you can never truly do that because your always gonna see the world subjectivly -- but I can damn sure try if i want.....

I can't deal with parties situations and I ways watch people put up these huge fronts and characters that they build to feel good about themselves-- It makes me said that i judge so much
-- but I'm not judging the person, I'm judging the fear that they hold themselves together with

... And when I smoke DMT my mind just goes off the charts ... Everyone else lays back down and they get rocketed off to a different place that they can never seem to describe after its over -- I just stay in the present and everything messes to gether as one little game and I can see everything happening and I know why its going on --- Even if DMT is just a "drug" as some people say - How can I sit their and view the world as a stupid drama thats a teaching tool, but still a waste of our energy ...... I dunno - i guess we just see what we wanna see in for some sick reason I like to look at everything as some twisted system or some sort of monotonous loop that never ends
- I want a new door to the spirit world

--------------------"...and to the left where up is down now stand a zebra made of shapes of me and silver and the sun so bring no guilt with you up above the flatline let's just hit the sky exploding into one." [ HUM ]

Are you saying that you've taken a psychedelic drug, and gotten a glimpse of "ultimate reality" beyond this physical existance, and now you're trying to decide weither to live your life according to what you believe to be true about the true nature of life, or how you've been living?

If so, then i'm sure it is a shock to find out that we don't live anythink like that in this "realm of the relative" called planet earth. Just take a step back, and don't get stressed out about it. You don't have to leave your physical life behind just because you've had a revelation or something. Read Conversations With God. It will reassure you and make you feel better. If i'm off on how I enterpreted your post, let me know.

Like when I think about how poeple have mental breakdowns, I just don't understand it .....I'm not in everyone elses head so I can't say how horrible the situation was for them to have a breakdown
I'm only in my head and I've been so deep into.. I dunno what to call it, but its all about sink or swim at that point and when you swim it's not cuz you see something to hold on to and believe in it just that you realize the futiliy in giving up....(i guess that is something to hold onto)

I don't see the point of having a mental breakdown -- I think people use it as an excuse to take some time away from responsiblity to that they can just lay around and try to forgetwhat they had a breakdown over --- I'm not saying they think to themselves, "Oh great I can use this as an excuse!!" -- I'm just saying their inner self just calls for a time out cuz it can't adjust to being trully fucked up on reality....

And man I can get real fucked up on reality before I get real fucked up on a drug..
... I'm not depressed either --- Its like every thing is null and viod when it comes to getting upset about not knowing whats really going on and why everyone acts so werid/bad to each other all the time
... I still look at everything with comeplete awe, and I love whatever reality/existence is ... I guess you can go pretty far and still find away back no matter how messed up it seems

What is Conversations with God, based on? -- Did someone say they talked to god or is it a metaphor.......

--------------------"...and to the left where up is down now stand a zebra made of shapes of me and silver and the sun so bring no guilt with you up above the flatline let's just hit the sky exploding into one." [ HUM ]

That being said, your spiritual being (soul or whatever) is perfectly fine. It is already part of all creation in some dimension, but your physical existence prevents you from fully realizing that fact. Soon enough, your physical being will be dropped off and your spritual being will be at play with all that exists, so there is no need to force it now. We exist on this Earth to have a physical experience, to learn and grow in preparation for what comes after. It is a good thing to know your spirit and be aware of the bigger picture, but when it comes down to it you just have to enjoy all that exists around you, because that's all you really have right now.

I understand what you are saying because I've felt the same way. The key is to let go. Let everything go. Just be. When this happens your mind will be in harmony with your spirit.

Even if DMT is just a "drug" as some people say - How can I sit their and view the world as a stupid drama thats a teaching tool, but still a waste of our energy ...... I dunno - i guess we just see what we wanna see in for some sick reason I like to look at everything as some twisted system or some sort of monotonous loop that never ends

Life is a drama, but its certainly not stupid. We need both a physical and an ethereal existence to be whole. If everything, then nothing because there is no comparison. In order to realize our spirit we need a body.

I know how you like to think of everything as a monotonous loop that never ends, but its only so if you think of it like that. We're always growing and evolving, so its never monotonous. Things definitely loop around, but each time we make another pass we're a different person so the situation is entirely different. Its more of a spiral than a circle. We're spiraling out, where 'outward' is increasing wisdom and perspective.

i believe that we all come from some sort of a spiritual pool, but its hard for me to believe that i have a spirit myself, because im made up of pieces of the universe, and when i die, i will simply return to the earth, allowing somewhere in the future some other being to use what i transform into for their own good. I dont know, im at a big crossroads in beliefs right now too...

another thing that gets me is that we assume that humans are the most evolved species on this earth...how the hell do we know that? For all we know, there could be another species that maybe we just cant see that is even more advanced than us, or maybe that farms us like in the matrix, which is where our need for our "advanced society" comes from.

--Kremlin

--------------------

"Human suffering has been caused because all too many of us cannot grasp that words are only tools for our use, and that the mere presence of a word in the dictionary does not mean it necessarily refers to something definitive in the real world"
--Richard Dawkins, "The Selfish Gene"

"It is the mind which creates the world about us, and even though we stand side by side in the same meadow, my eyes will never see what is beheld by yours."
-George Gissing

"Without a firm idea of himself and the purpose of his life, man cannot live, and would sooner destroy himself than remain on earth, even if he was surrounded by bread."
--Fyodor Dostoevsky

you will soon, if not yet come to a point where you might not wan't to come back from the spiritual world because all you can see now is evil around you ( in objects, people ). you must first realize your purpose in life, then you may enjoy it more, you were put here for a reason, just ask your spirit. evolution is a natural process, I think that I have to stop fighting life and exsistance because I have already been made whole by contacting my spirit. you now know of this other exsistance out there. my purpose, our purpose, the spirits like you and me, we are here to rid the world of the evil spirits which inhabit it and ourselves. once i made this realization it has been extremely hard for me to conentrate on all the aspects of an astral projection, it feels like these evil spirits are somehow trying to make me stop but i am stronger than them, you are too, come join in the fight, there are thousands already doing this, and so much has been acomplished already, this is why you are hearing about more and more people astral projecting now. the evil spirits which inhabit our bodies can not enter the physical world outside our bodies, in our bodies they are safe, when we enter the astral world they are not safe, they try to fill our minds with lies such as astral projection is just a hallucination to stop us, or they try to scare us out of doing it by threating us or even taunting us to come to make it seem like they are not afraid. ThE eViL yOu sEe Is tHeRe, BuT dO NoT bE AfRaid Of iT, YoU sPiRiT iS StRoNgEr ThAn It.

-------------------- wOrLd PhIlOsOpHy CaN OnLy bE UnDeRsToOd ThRoUgH aStRaL aWaKeNiNg

I'm having difficulty astral projecting, do you thinik you could travel the astral plane to my room and sort of "pull" me out of my body? It would be a great help, and I would be more than happy to provide you with directions should you need them.