It’s so fun to dig up old pictures or writings from years ago, especially when you’re least expecting it. I had that experience last year as I was rifling through an unemptied box of odds and ends from my parents’ last move. Anyways, in the box, I found this mini essay which I wrote when I was fourteen and though I don’t recall what was going on at the time that prompted this piece, it is obvious I was grappling with some adolescent worries of some kind. Let me share this find with you:—————————————————————————————

I saw her on the cover of a magazine, perfect smile, perfect style, perfect make up. Peering through the mirror at myself, I saw endless flaws-a big nose that I thought too large, brows too thick and zits that looked all too numerous. How, I thought, can I be happy with myself? what was I thinking on those by-gone days when I actually felt confident with my appearance? Only a fool could miss the depressing truth-I am an ugly girl, never to find happiness or true fulfillment. what is more, I will not find recognition in this world. A dead future lay ahead of me.

for several days, I did what any fourteen year old girl would do. Felt sorry for myself, stood in front of the mirror, shopped, bought fashion magazines, and shopped and shopped and shopped! I tried on my new wares feeling once again confident with myself-but still the blemishes were there. I was not as tall as I wanted to be; 5’5″ as opposed to 5’10”, the height of the average super model.

Knowing I was bound in a trap that many teens find themselves in, I started taking seriously my situation. I concluded, and still feel, that fashion magazines and the media as a whole, have set a standard. You can be tall, slender, nicely stemmed and gorgeous, or, a second rate, average height attractive. Fortune may give you endless guys, fame and money-or, just a normal life, unnoticed by the world, but dearly loved by a few. The latter, I quickly decided, was a blessing I could not do with out. The world’s love lasts a day, my family and friend’s, a life time. The world is lured by beauty and fleeting charm, while, in my house, I am loved for my soul.

Most importantly, the world worships man, while I worship the Lord Jesus Christ, my God, my Creator and my best friend, who cherishes me as a father cherishes his child. He is not impressed by outward beauty or fame, but looks at the heart. He sees our sins as a mirror shows our outward blemishes, but to a greater extent. For all my inward sins and spots, I am not lost. If we believe on Jesus Christ, that he laid down his life on Calvary, forgiving the sins of all who follow Him, we become forever one of his dearly loved children. Our God then looks past the ugly, seeing the beauty inside of us.

how sad!! “Only a fool could miss the depressing truth-I am an ugly girl, never to find happiness or true fulfillment. what is more, I will not find recognition in this world. A dead future lay ahead of me”

Hello, I’ve been looking over your blog; you’ve done n excellent job with it.Beautiful essay; you came to an excellent conclusion, though I sympathize with your thoughts…Congratulations on your recent first anniversary. May the Lord bless you and your husband.Oyarsa(of http://oyarsa.blogspot.com)