Well once again it has been months since I’ve written. Lax again on the obligation I’ve set for myself to write you at least once a month. Has it really been so long since I’ve felt like doing anything? Seems as though I feel like shit more than I feel good. Yay me!

This depression thing is kicking my butt. Being depressed is making me depressed. I’m growing quite tired of it. Maybe I do give up, Alison. Not giving up like I’m ready to kill myself. Just that maybe this is the way I am. Doesn’t sound like much fun.

No matter what I do, what I try, what drugs they give me I always feel the same. Sure there is always a little happy spurt around the corner, but it seems like the corners are getting farther away.

I want to be happy. I want to be “normal”. I sure as hell don’t want my life to be like this forever.

So, I guess, for now I will just keep plugging along. I hope everyone can bear with me, including myself.