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The least understood – and often most destructive – type of child abuse is emotional. Its scars are not physical but invisible, with profound, far-reaching consequences (Andre 2005). Unfortunately, it’s much tougher to prove the existence of emotional abuse in the United States compared to the laws that exist to protect children in other countries. For example, in Sweden, it’s not only illegal to hit a child, but also to bully them (Hunt).

Emotional abuse, as defined by The Federal Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA) is a pattern of behavior that impairs a child’s emotional development or sense of self-worth. This may include constant criticism, hovering, threats, rejection, lying, bullying, menacing, accusing, blaming, taunting, intimidating, as well as withholding love, support, or guidance, or generally lacking empathy.

Parental alienation does not materialize without the presence of emotional abuse. While alienating parents may not leave visible signs of their abuse, what they are doing is clearly abusive. When a custodial parent isolates a child from another parent through programming techniques, it is the alienator’s way of controlling a child’s beliefs through rejection and fear.

Parents who try to alienate their child from his or her other parent convey a three-part message to the child: (1) I am the only parent who loves you and you need me to feel good about yourself, (2) The other parent is dangerous and unavailable, (3) Pursuing a relationship with that parent jeopardizes your relationship with me (Baker).

Children do not naturally lose interest in and become distant from their nonresidential parent simply by virtue of the absence of that parent, and healthy and established parental relationships do not erode naturally of their own accord. They must be attacked (Bone and Walsh).

Emotionally abused children, particularly those exposed to parental alienation tactics by a custodial parent, cannot meaningfully protect themselves against such hostility. They live in a state of chronic upset and threat of reprisal, and it wounds their psyches so deeply that such abuse may wreak psychological havoc greater than that caused by physical abuse, according to clinical research.

Simply put, an alienating parent operates by the adage, “My way, or the highway.” One must realize that the PAS process operates in a “fear based” environment. It is the installation of fear by the alienating parent to the minor children that is the fuel by which this pattern is driven; this fear taps into the most basic emotion inherent in human nature—the fear of abandonment. When the child does dare to defy the alienating parent, they quickly learn that there is a serious price to pay. Consequently, children who live such lives develop an acute sense of vigilance over displeasing the alienating parent (Bone and Walsh).

Parental alienation and parental alienation syndrome differ in important respects. Parental Alienation Syndrome focuses on the child’s behavior: refuses to visit, expresses unjustifiable hatred towards the target parent, displays no fear of the court, harbors irrational beliefs shared by the alienating parent, and cannot see any good in the targeted parent (Darnall).

Parental alienation, on the other hand, focuses not on the child's behavior, but on the parent's behavior: demonizing the other parent, attempting to limit or block access using the argument that visitation is unsettling to the child, forbidding discussion about the other parent, not allowing photos of the other parent in the home, belittling the target parent’s extended family, and bullying the child into conformity.

The alienating parents are oblivious to the psychologically and emotionally detrimental effects to the child; they simply don’t care. They believe they are more biologically valuable to the children than you are, and will campaign against you until you evaporate from the face of the earth, or until the children are fully aligned with them, in which case, the children have been completely programmed, are now suffering from PAS, and take over the denigration crusade of their own volition.

Losing a loved one is a traumatic experience at any age, and despite how resilient children may be, this type of trauma seriously disrupts their social and emotional development. Because the loss is not a permanent one, as in the case of a tragic death, the trauma a child suffers as a result of exposure to PAS is never-ending. Every instance in which the target parent attempts to make contact – through phone calls, letters, cards, packages – serves as a reminder that the parent considered dead to them is very much alive. Young children, particularly, are in the midst of developing the cognitive, reasoning, and socialization skills necessary to comprehend and respond to trauma, whether it’s an isolated event like a bullying situation, or an ongoing situation such as child abuse, and this type of persistent exposure to parental alienation can impair their ability to focus, organize and process information, and solve problems.

This is an issue I’m incredibly impassioned about because my family has been ravaged by parental alienation. I’ve written endlessly about the increasingly volatile situation in which my two previously well-behaved, loving daughters embraced their father and stepmother’s campaign of denigration and began acting out in hostile ways toward every member of my household.

Of course, it didn’t happen overnight. My girls were legally abducted (I agreed they could move to Indiana with their dad and try it out for one school year), held hostage 279-miles away from me, and isolated for 656 days; my only form of communication during that time was letters (which they never received) and telephone calls. After I filed the necessary paperwork to enforce our valid court order (and contempt for my ex husband’s systematic interference with my parenting time), the judge instructed my ex husband to abide by the current order, which meant the girls spent every other weekend in Ohio with me, pending the outcome of the trial.

I was stunned to witness my ex husband’s alienation tactics escalate at such an intense pace after our appearance in court, at which time we reached a parenting agreement that, I believed, was beneficial to the girls, as they wanted to remain living with their dad. I knew they didn’t want to participate with in-camera interviews and psychological evaluations; my ex husband’s worst fear, I clearly realize now. The long distance schedule was implemented upon our agreement, which meant the girls began coming home for several days once a month, on average, instead of every other weekend. The escalation happened in only a matter of months, and my girls are now suffering severe parental alienation syndrome. I am discovering, too, that the process is almost impossible to reverse.

That is why preventing and understanding parental alienation is so important. It’s much easier to combat PAS when you exercise frequent parenting time with your children. As J. Michael Bone points out, “When there are substantial periods in which they do not see the other parent, the children are more likely to be poisoned by the process. Another variable that predicts success is the child’s age. Younger children generally are more vulnerable than older ones.”

The saddest realization, for me, is that my ex husband’s horrendous behavior has violated one of the most sacred duties of parenthood, which is to foster and facilitate love. Not only has he robbed our children of a meaningful relationship with me, he has given them a distorted definition of love. They are learning, from the first man they loved in their life, to associate love with pain, and sadism with intimacy - a lesson that, I’m afraid, will leave them emotionally bankrupt later in life.

As resilient as children may be, do they ever completely overcome the mutilation of their hearts and souls?

The long-term effects of parental alienation are questionable, but research shows that when exposed to distressing events, even children as young as 18 months can develop serious psychological problems later in childhood and in adulthood. As they grow, these children take with them the effects of traumatic events, and are more likely to experience problems with substance abuse, depression, and stress management as a result. Make no mistake - losing a parent, whether through death, divorce or unnatural isolation, is traumatic for a child.

Children deserve to live in an environment unencumbered by fear and pain. They should never be made to feel as if they are being disloyal to one parent simply because they exercise their fundamental right to freely express love and affection for the other, and they certainly don’t deserve to be betrayed by the very people they love and trust.

All, too, will bear in mind this sacred principle, that children are not our property, and they are not ours to control any more that we were our parents' property or theirs to control (Richard Bach).

Cruelty and oppression is everybody's business to interfere when they see it.

Parental Alienation Awareness Day is April 25, 2011. Parental Alienation Awareness is put forth to help raise awareness about the growth in the problem of targeting children and their relationship in healthy and loving parent/child bond. With awareness comes education and understanding, and the power to stop the abuse of innocent children caught in the crossfire of people they love.

If you’ve been affected by Parental Alienation or know someone who has, please consider joining the Bubbles of Love Campaign for 10 minutes on April 25, 2011 at Noon your time. Each bubble represents love, how love takes us all higher, and how, like bubbles, we should not contain love.

SHARE YOUR STORY

We always encourage all parents and extended family to share experiences of Family Court horrors, or Parental Alienation and its impact on you, your children and family. That way the ripple effect of the information and experiences shared will create positive change for other people who are affected or who may be affected in the future.

Comment anonymously, call yourself whatever you want. Email addresses are strictly confidential, and providing one is optional (but will allow you to be notified of others’ responses and to dialogue immediately if you wish). This blog was viewed over a half a million times. For the public to be aware of procedural abuses, it has to hear about them. The blog author’s own story is here. Civility is the only constraint upon your speech.

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Stop Court-Ordered Parental Alienation

February 23rd

Obnoxious ‘Renegade’ Justice ~ Family Courts

The abuses of parents and children by Family Courts, social workers, and family law attorneys have harmed parents and children for far too long. We intend to end that abuse

Family court is designed by its makers to be probably the most dangerous life event parents and children can endure. It enables and profits from every inhumane instinct known to man—greed, hate, resentment, fear—resulting in abundant cash flow for the divorce industry and a fallout of parent and children’s misery.

And behind the curtain of this machine of misery we’ve uncovered its cause—the multi-billion dollar divorce industry, populated by judges, attorneys, and a machinery of tax-dollar fed “judicial administrators,” social workers that George Orwell would marvel at.

We’ve been delivering that message kindly for years now, yet the tide keeps rising on families in crisis. We’ve appealed to the county courts, state and local politicians, state judicial oversight bodies, United States Representatives, and just plain old human dignity, but the harassment and abuse of parents and children has only increased. A resort to federal court intervention in the widespread criminal collusion in state government was the next logical step.

It’s time to recognize Family Court for what it is—a corporate crime ring raiding parents and children of financial and psychological well-being, and devouring our children’s futures. And its not just divorce lawyers—its judges, “judicial administrators,” psychologists, cops and prosecutors—people we should be able to trust—in a modern day criminal cabal using county courtrooms and sheriff’s deputies as the machinery of organized crime.

Since state officials’ hands are too deep into the cookie jar to stop their own abuse, we’re seeking the assistance of federal oversight.

The present-day suffering of so many parents and children has and is being wrought within a larger system characterized by a widespread institutional failure of—indeed contempt for—the rule of law.

Family courts, the legal community, professional institutions such as the state bar, psychology boards, and criminal justice institutions have in the recent decade gradually combined to cultivate a joint enterprise forum in which widespread “family practice” exceptions to the rule of law are not only tolerated, but increasingly encouraged. Professional behavior that would only a few years ago be recognized as unethical, illegal, or otherwise intolerable by American legal, psychological, law enforcement, or social work professionals has increasingly achieved acceptance—indeed applause—from institutional interests which benefit from a joint enterprise enforcing the unwritten law of “who you know is more important than what you know.

In this lawless behavior’s most crass infestation, Family Court Judges are regularly heard to announce, in open court, “I am the law” and proceed to act accordingly with impunity, indifference, and without shame.

The effect on parents and children seeking social support within this coalescing “family law” forum has not been as advertised by courts and professionals—a new healing—but instead a new affliction: an ‘imposed disability’ of de rigueur deprivation of fundamental rights in the name of ‘therapeutic jurisprudence’ funded by converting college funds into a bloated ministry of the Bar Associations leaving families and their children with mere crumbs of their own success.

Many family court judges regularly administer such obnoxious ‘renegade’ justice every day, in open defiance of the rule of law. ‘Sober as a judge’ these days has a whole new meaning.

We need reform toward a more humane family dispute resolution solution

Many of our members are mothers, fathers, and children who have withstood abundant hardship resulting from the current practices of what is generally described as the “Family Law Community.”

These injuries and insults include fraudulent, inefficient, harmful, and even dangerous services; an institutionalized culture of indifference to “clearly-established” liberties; insults to the autonomy and dignity of parents and children; extortion, robbery, abuse, and more, delivered at the hands of eager operators within the divorce industry. ~~ CPRW Vid1 - 2016

World4Justice2016

It’s just not possible that intelligent lawyers like judges don’t understand exactly what goes on in their courtrooms, yet they allow it to continue.

This judicial collusion is far more serious crime than even the fraud of divorce attorneys themselves.

We need reform toward a more humane family dispute resolution solution. They’ve treated us as enemies of the state. When we thought we’d be welcomed, or at least heard, we’ve instead become targets of prosecution and terrorist threats. They've assaulted us, harassed our members including threatening “gun cock” and death threat late night phone calls, attacked our businesses, professional licenses, and threatened to jail and extort us with further crime.

It’s outrageous that our own government allows this to happen, and we’re asking the federal court to protect our members as we pursue the civil and criminal charges against the courts. A complete set of filings and exhibits is available from CCFC’s Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/ccfconline ~~ Grandparents and Grandkids World4Justice2016 ~ GR Vid2 -- www.facebook.com/Grandparents4Justice

Jury trials have been unlawfully eliminated as an option in family court by unelected adminstrators, leaving judges to do whatever they want and control the cases completely. The checks and balances of the judicial system have been removed and profit motives win by the gravity of money over decades.

Freedom of speech in the United States

“Will of the people the only legitimate foundation of any government, protect its free expression, our first object.” ~ Thomas Jefferson

"No man is good enough to govern another man without the other's consent."

“There are subtle ways and overt ways of alienating a child from a parent, but either way it’s evil”

Almost always, the creative dedicated minority has made the world better.

Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness.

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Collaborative Family Law

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Strengthening Father-Child Relationships

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