Men Walking Dogs In Woods Know Its Only A Matter Of Time Before They Discover Murder Victims

Describing it as 'bound to happen sooner or later' male dog walkers acknowledged Saturday that they shall all, at some point or another, discover a murder victim buried deep in the woods where they walk their dogs.

Dog owners of all ages across the country told reporters that every man who partakes in walking his dog will eventually find a half-nude body discarded in a heavily forested area, probably found by their dog -most likely while their dog is rummaging around and digging.

Calmly confirming that it is their ultimate, inexorable destiny to one day become a witness in a murder case, the nation's dog walkers confirmed this week that they will still leash their dogs, get up at 6 am every morning knowing full well it could end up being the day they are confronted with a rotting corpse.

Such, is life.

Make D P Whitehead's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

More fake news stories

Washington, DC -- Unannounced presidential candidate Hillary Clinton had more than a few good reasons for operating her own email server while she served as Secretary of State. Unfortunately, they were all on that server, which has malfunctioned and...

WASHINGTON, DC - In a stunning moment, President Obama signed an executive order that mandates all African-Americans to vote. Obama signed the order in a meeting in Detroit on Thursday.
"We shouldn't be making it harder to vote, we should be makin...

MYLITTLEPO, NY (Tengu Windwaker) -- Angela Candelabra, aged 15, the girl who claimed to "die" for almost a day to "see heaven and hell" who also had a video that made Fundamentalists fight other religions through shocking testimonies which look like...

Santa Barbara - Dick Cheney told Playboy Magazine that Barack Obama was the worst President ever, so Al Gore phoned up Penthouse Magazine and demanded they interview him, so he could return the favor.
"Dick Cheney is the worst Vice-President ever,...

Manfred, New Hampshire - This small town of 750 has finally found a replacement for Bill Hicks, the 92 year old member of the local water commission who suffered a massive stroke during a commission meeting last February. Ms. Jean Seymore, a local r...

Washington DC - The widow of Joe Allbritton, sometime owner of one of America's most corrupt banks, is acting as official hostess to a totally spurious four day visit by roughneck Brit scroungers Charles and Camilla.
Barbara Allbritton heads the t...

Washington DC - Calling his cock a "massive pressure valve," former President Bill Clinton said that his sexual escapades with teenage Latin American prostitutes will "continue unabated" because they are his "only source of psychological release."...

TRENTON, NJ - The spokesman for The Chris Christie Foundation, Betha Buhderbahl, announced that the foundation will take on a troubling, weighty issue when it comes to the income gap between healthy people and the obese.
Obese people make 72 cents...