Monday, February 23, 2009

In what may just be the worst idea ever, today I am driving 4 hours north with a friend and our kids to be with our other friend because her husband has to go away on a business trip less than a week after she had a c-section with their second baby.

And if that sentence wasn't clunky enough for you, please, let me re-phrase: if a car is driving 300 miles at 70 mph with a two+ year old toward a small house with (2) other two+ year olds, (1) nine week old infant, (1) five day old newborn, (1) newly stitched c-section, (2) dogs, (3) women, (1) copy of "House Bunny" and immeasurable amounts of hormones gone horribly awry, how long will it take before someone throws herself on the floor crying over soggy cornflakes?

Now I did not fare incredibly well on the math portion of my SAT's but I am going with:c.) T-minus 4, 3, 2, 1...

"House explodes. Neighborhood covered in colostrum, diapers, drool and what appeared to be snot but is actually a residual film of dignity. Rescue crew find a pacifier, Goodnight Moon, a sitz bath and some stool softener."

We all have them. We all have "things" in them. In fact, all-of-the-above warrants an awful lot of " ""'s " .... gee, how DO you quotes, quotes? I digress.

Ok, so my sister respectfully asks that if she does not survive some chick flick in the making, that we, her reading public and I ASSume, family, do not, DO NOT look inside her bedside table drawer... Like why, because THAT'S where we'll find her last will and witty words to us? The secret to her killer? Her lost brilliant novel? (maybe, actually)

Hi, my name is Susannah and I like shiny things, nutella, a good pen and the feel of sunshine warm and flat on my back. I like my family. Scratch that, I love them: my childhood sweetheart turned adulthood husband Bryan, my head-butting abyssinian named Nacho, and my sweet Petunia Faced kids, Zoey and Ozzy. This is my life, my askew view of this absurd world, my truth in a world splintered with 'em. This is my blog.

I write for love but money works, too. Email me for more info, or just to say hello.
susannah.ink@gmail.com