Rubbed the Wrong Way

The Masseuse 3 features attractive actors in drawn out, unimaginative sex scenes. There is a poorly developed plot line that leaves viewers confused more than anything else. We would not recommend giving up two and a half hours to watch this film; there are much better productions out there.

Upon receiving this movie and reading the description of Masseuse 3, we were excited by the prospect of another high quality Digital Playground production. It has an awesome cast, headlined by Kayden Kross, and the idea of a masseuse and client engaging in passionate sex has the potential for a good story. The subtitle, “Kayden’s calling for multiple reasons,” leads one to believe that this would be a major part of the movie. Unfortunately, the attractive cast could not save this movie. The plot falls short, if you can even consider it a plot. There is a non-existent storyline around the masseuse, and a shell of a story around Kayden’s multiple personalities. There is no connection from one scene to another and hard to know who is who and what is going on. This movie has more of the feel of a gonzo than a film with a well-developed storyline. And despite the excellent cast of actors, the sex scenes are for the most part boring and difficult to sit through. The sex lacked variety and the scenes are way too long. This movie is just over two and half hours long but easily could have been filmed in half that time.

Scene One: Kayden is in her bedroom putting on army fatigues when her doorbell rings and she goes to answer it. Scott Nails arrives to give Kayden a massage, but “Kayden” the army sergeant thinks he is the enemy, questions him, and orders him to strip. Five minutes into the movie, she jumps him and fondles his crotch. She takes her shirt off and Scott begins sucking her breasts and quickly moves down to give her oral. For twenty-two minutes, the two engage in predictable, vanilla sex. It starts with oral on her, then oral on him, PIV from behind, PIV while she’s on top, more oral, more PIV, and ends with him eventually coming on her face. And although both Kayden and Scott are seasoned veterans of porn, the sex and chemistry between the two is merely average.

Scene Two: With a strange transition from scene one, we see the exterior of a home, then two people kissing in bed (Who are these people?). Tony Ribas begins sucking the very large breasts of Yurizan Beltran, and his clothes are off in a flash. But for some reason, she never takes her top off. This scene features a lot of foreplay and kissing. Tony begins oral on her and then they switch with her performing oral. Again, the sex is somewhat predictable with the two switching positions from PIV with her on top to PIV with him from behind, her back on top, and ending with her giving oral. The scene drags for almost twenty-eight minutes of sex. The two actors have a good chemistry and are definitely enthusiastic. One note here is that the cameraman constantly shot close-ups of her breasts at random moments which I found annoying.

Scene Three: Scene two ends with Tony and Yurizan exiting the room, outside which Tony’s ex girlfriend/roommate Samantha Ryan is waiting and is obviously disgusted with him. We next see Samantha playing pool. Her masseuse, James Deen, enters to give her a massage. She is still angry with Tony and talks to James about it, wondering if it’s something about her. She asks James to give her a hand massage and makes a move on him. Samantha and James display great flexibility and enthusiasm in this scene, the majority of which is done standing. He begins giving her oral while she is leaning back against the pool table. He remains standing while she gives oral to him, and with both standing, he enters her vaginally first from the front, then from behind. The two switch between oral and PIV while reclined on a couch, and he eventually comes on her face while she is kneeling in front of him. This scene features a lot of spitting by Samantha and some slapping by James, neither of which I enjoy watching. It is not only the shortest sex scene at just over twenty-one minutes (still way too long), it is the most exciting to watch, largely due to the actors and the sex.

Experience

Scene Four: Again, a strange transition finds us watching a doctor, Mick Blue, and his wife, Francesca Le, talking about a party they will be attending. The doctor is Kayden’s psychiatrist, and she is waiting outside his office for her appointment to begin. But his wife is horny, wants him now, and will not take no for an answer. What ensues is almost thirty minutes of repetitive, unexciting sex. It begins with a lot of kissing, with her eventually giving oral to him. And for some reason, the cameraman focuses on her ass throughout this first part, which is odd given that her clothes are still on. They switch and he gives her oral while she is reclining on an examination table (which would not be found in a psychiatrist’s office). After what seems like an eternity, they change positions and he enters her while standing. He returns to giving her oral and then penetrates her from behind. Mercifully the scene ends with him coming on her face. Unlike the previous scene, this scene is the longest and the most difficult to watch, mainly because the acting is poor and the sex is uninspired and boring. We wish it had been the 10-15 minutes that Francesca told Kayden she would have to wait before the doctor could see her.

Scene Five: After Kayden speaks to the doctor, he realizes that her medication is not helping and decides he will make surprise visits to check on her. The scene cuts to “Kayden” the realtor, outside her home waiting to show the house to a client, her husband. The doctor arrives after being called by the husband, but she thinks he’s another prospective buyer. Then James, the masseuse, arrives to give Kayden a massage. Yay, a foursome! Not so fast. Her husband urges her to get the massage from James and leaves. While there is no foursome, the massage scene has the most potential and doesn’t even involve any sex. Afterwards, the doctor goes up to check on her and, not realizing he is her doctor, she begins kissing him. In fact, there is a lot of kissing in this scene. He can’t help himself and begins oral on her. Like all the previous scenes, the two switch between oral and PIV, with him coming on her face after twenty-five minutes. Boring.

Although the title of the movie is “Masseuse 3, Kayden’s calling for multiple reasons,” it is really about neither massages nor Kayden’s multiple personalities. It is a stretch to say this movie has a plot, and what little plot exists is completely confusing. There are five total sex scenes, and each could have easily been half the length. There is zero variety and all five featured the same sexual positions and nothing risqué or inspiring. This is not one of Digital Playground’s better productions. I would have preferred if this was marketed as a gonzo because I wouldn't have watched it in the first place.

Follow-up commentaryI still don't like it3 months after original review

I honestly can't imagine that we'd watch this movie again. It just doesn't deliver on what we were expecting at all. We might watch parts of some of the scenes, but none of them are worth watching in its entirety; they're just too long and too repetitive. I can't say what Masseuse 1 and 2 were like, but number 3 certainly rubbed us the wrong way.

This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the
FTC guidelines.

I'm having a hard time writing my review for this one, just pretty hard not to bash it in the ground from the get go. Like you, I was expecting more from DP.

08/18/2011

Kindred

@Dwtim - I was close to giving it one star but held back. What made it worse is that they even pretend there is a plot. Can't wait to see what you say.

08/19/2011

P'Gell

It's sounds boring. Sorry you had to sit through it.

I like MY sex to last a long time. But, when watching porn, I like a lot of variety and kink and not.... 28 minutes of PIV. We probably would have fallen asleep... Or gotten it on and forgotten the DVD was even playing.

Good review.

08/19/2011

P'Gell

Does Digital Playground know the Masseuse is the person who gives the massages, not the one who gets them? (Sorry, I should have included this comment in my last post.)

Good catch on the exam table. No psychs don't have them in their offices... I've.. er.... heard......

08/19/2011

sexyintexas

I was so dissapointed in this. Granted I didn't see the first two, but I doubt I ever will now *rolling eyes*.

08/19/2011

Ms. Spice

this one was pretty sucky, Digital Playground is usually better than this. thanks for the awesome review though

08/19/2011

Southern Lady

Nice review.

08/19/2011

Kindred

@P'Gell - It's actually worse than that. I didn't go into detail in the review, but the psychiatrist's office is set up as a medical exam room. There's a blood pressure cuff, radiographs on a light box, stethoscope, anatomy model, etc. Nothing that a psychiatrist would have.

08/19/2011

Kindred

@sexyintexas and Ms. Spice - I was disappointed in DP as well. The storyline certainly had potential, they just totally failed to deliver.

08/19/2011

Redboxbaby

I hated this move as well. I think I am done with Digital Playground or maybe at least Robby D. for awhile.

08/24/2011

Kindred

@Redboxbaby - DP has some good movies. This is probably the worst one I have seen to date.

12/10/2011

OroNomi

Saw the first one and didn't like it. Sad to see the series continues to be a senseless mess. Robby D is very hit or miss. Great quality image and decent camerawork but the storytelling aspect and the overly long scenes tens to bring the work way down.