May 2008

So You Think You Have a Policy

If you love your country, and you wish someone would kill me, vote for Scott Adams as a write-in for president of the United States. If elected, it’s a virtual certainty I’ll get assassinated, but not before I solve every problem in the United States. And by our excellent example, the problems in other countries will also be solved.

(Incidentally, if you don’t live in the United States, you can still vote in our elections, thanks to our electronic voting machines. You might need to guess a password. Try “123” or “Reagan.”)

As president, I would solve all the world’s problems by creating a reality TV show where think tanks compete for the best solutions to everything from health care to energy policy to immigration. The judges would be experts who help viewers sort the squirrel shit from the caviar, but the final decisions would be made by viewers, just like on American Idol.

I think you can see many problems with this plan. But you have to compare it to the current political process where idiots elect liars to transfer wealth to crooks. How's that working out for you?

You might think one problem with my plan is that few people would watch a show about political policies. But before the TV show Survivor came on, who predicted that millions of people would watch a bunch of assholes fighting over a coconut? Before American Idol, who predicted that a show featuring bad singers (mostly) would be a worldwide sensation? A good producer can make anything seem fascinating.

Let’s take one example: energy policy. At the risk of oversimplifying, our current energy policy in The United States involves shooting bearded people. It’s not hard to imagine better ideas coming out of a reality TV show. I’m not a think tank and I can give you a few great ideas right off the top of my head:

1. Pass a law in the United States requiring power companies to put a patriotism rating on customer bills. Depending on how much you reduce your consumption over the prior year, you earn a rating of up to four American flags. If you use more energy than last year, your bill comes printed with only one flag. And it’s the flag of Saudi Arabia, you frickin’ traitor. Energy consumption would drop like a rock.

2. Pass a law requiring all cars to have a large gas mileage label on the driver's side door, with an arrow pointing to the driver’s big ol’ head. Everyone already knows, in a general sense, which vehicles use the most gas. But if you have to drive around town with a “9 miles per gallon” label pointed at your mullet, it might make you think twice the next time you consider putting monster tires on your pickup truck.

Seriously, I’d love to watch a reality show where two think tanks argue over whether we should go balls-to-the-wall growing sugar cane and turning it into fuel. Is corn for losers? Does Brazil have it right? It’s all slightly too boring for me to research on my own, and it wouldn't help because I don’t believe anything I read. But I’d watch a reality show about it if the losers were insulted by someone witty. That’s the kind of leader I am.

Comments

You can offer practically any kind of service using the internet. You just have to make sure there is a market for it and that you can actually fulfill job orders. Some of the most common internet jobs involve clerical jobs such data entry, performing tasks as a virtual assistant, web development, word processing, telemarketing, book keeping and others. You can work as a copy writer, be a sales representative or even become a pro-blogger. You can set up a business that targets clients in your own town or people halfway around the globe.

I think you've hit upon my old favourite problem with representative democracy, equally applicable to any mass opinion scenario. Members of an elected government are members of the populace chosen from the populace by the populace, and are therefore as ordinary as those they represent - as mediocre, bigotted, ordinary, but slightly more driven (the average person doesn't want to run for public office). This system will produce uninspiring, leaderless governments aimed at ensuring their own continued existence (self-preservation being still high on the agenda for the average person). Anyone not 'representative' of the mass opinion is obviously wrong if not dangerous, and must be pulled down immediately. The politicians who believe that they have an inane right to govern through their superiority will be first against the wall when the revolution starts - which can only happen when the masses accidentally and simultaneously believe that the masses are already rising up.

They don`t produce any !
While growing the plants they take up CO2 from the air, and when You burn them the exact same amount is set free and is taken up again by the next generation of plants.
This way the amount of CO2 is not growing.

Better to have been last than never to have joined the fight.
I have policy too. I review TV programs I think I might like- decide and usually never watch most of them again so I really do not like to read about the idiots in a blog but you have a pass this time.

Since we are bashing politicians, here's another reason to vote for Scott... The officials in DC are not even doing their basic job, that is, they can't even agree upon and then pass the federal budget. The Energy and Water funding, for example, has been running on "continuing resolution" since 2000. Those "liars" are so busy "transfering wealth to crooks" (Well said, Scott!!) that they can't even perform the basic tasks they were hired to do. Oh, and they get full pay and wonderful perks upon retirement, regardless of bad (or "non") performance! What's wrong with this picture?

A reality show once a week is not enough, politicians can just put on their act for that day and then go back to their regular ol' game.

I say that along with a TV show we should tap their phone lines, implant a GPS chip on every politician, and have a camera follow them at random at any time. The general public should have access to this in the net.

You'd think that with the technology available we'd be able to keep better tabs on the government; not just the government on us.

This would be a (dis)incentive for many to run for office, but it would really keep the ones that actually put in an effort.

My wife and I have two children of our own - she has one child from a previous marriage that I support. Both my wife - one of my daughters - and my step daughter moved to the USA about a year ago. My second (unexpected) child was born last Feb and I love her very much. My wife is attending a community college learning to read and write enough English so she can work. Planning is good - but circumstances sometimes dictate your situation. Right now things are tight - and yes we are planning to make things better in the future. Thanks for your concern.

BTW - I was not complaining about our situation. I understand that we choose it as much as it choose us. I was just providing myself as a real life example of why 80k a year is a tight budget for some US families. It would help if health insurance costs for my family were lower. Say only $800/month instead of $1000/month - an extra $200 a month income can go a long way.

LA Clay's presumption that my income group is spending our money on new luxury cars - boob jobs - and plasma TV’s needed to be corrected. His statement that we are not taking responsibility for our families - well that was just an idiotic thing to say.

I had the first comment on this blog's post yesterday.
No, I'm not here to brag >_>

It was just weird, because I was in my 9:30 college class, and already had the page up from the last time I was on. So I hit refresh but got the day old post. For some reason, I hit refresh again, and this time the blog was updated. o.O

Random chance occurrence? Or was it posted long before, and my browser just acted weird?

Does this go in against the notion of free will? Or does it mean nothing at all?

Simple solution, declare that all americans must eat baked beans for breakfast and you can run all cars on methane fumes. Special lanes for carpoolers who have 2 or more passengers plus the driver contributing to fuel. I figure that you have to sit down to drive anyway, why not drop your trousers and help the environment. For those of you that only drive 5 - 10 minutes to work, you will be allowed to skip the baked beans, but you must walk or bike to work. Public transit? Same rules as carpoolers, hook up and propel yourself to work.

The good news is that Dubya has a plan for when the US economy reaches rock bottom. The bad news is that he is carrying a shovel...

I'm sure you'd love to see your face printed next to John Kennedy's. But perhaps you need to learn a thing or two about humility. Oh, and reality, too.

"As president, I would solve all the world’s problems by creating a reality TV show where think tanks compete for the best solutions to everything from health care to energy policy to immigration. The judges would be experts who help viewers sort the squirrel shit from the caviar, but the final decisions would be made by viewers, just like on American Idol."

Yeah ! Free markets are God ! How could it now work ? Look at all those great singers "American Idol" brought to the world !

"I think you can see many problems with this plan. But you have to compare it to the current political process where idiots elect liars to transfer wealth to crooks. How's that working out for you?"