Routt County Sheriff Starett Bigguns recently joined a larger group of Colorado Sheriffs who decided that Amendment 64, which legalized marijuana in small amounts, is "unenforceable" as the law is now written, so they play on ignoring the new legislation completely.During an interview at Chief Theater, Routt County Sheriff Starett Bigguns (mustachio) refused to not arrest admitted pot-smoker Petal Blossom for marijuana possession, ignoring Amendment 64 due to its "unconstitutionality, federal illegalness and general hippy-dippy nature."

"My crack legal mind has decipherized that Amendment 64, due to marijuana's federal illegalness and the general hippy nature of it, is 100 percent ... unenforceable," said Bigguns. "I don't need any law degree or judgeship or any form of legal standing whatsoever to tell me that. I can see with my own two eyes that Amendment 64 is just hippy-dippy nonsense, so our Sheriff Department will be ignoring it--like it never existed."

Sheriff Bigguns instructed his staff to stop enforcing Amendment 64, which required them to do nothing about marijuana possession and use. Although normally quite fine with doing nothing while on duty, Sheriff Bigguns couldn't stomach the idea of not arresting people for pulling bong tubes in the comfort of their homes.

"I can only do nothing on the job when it doesn't conflict with my deepest moral values," added Bigguns. "Now, as you may recall, before being elected Sheriff due to my lack of drunk drivingness, I led our crack squadron of drug-abuse investigators: ASSHAT. I can't simply forget all of that hippy-arresting training overnight. Besides, the whole thing is unconstitutional."

When confronted with the fact that Amendment 64 is actually in the Colorado State Constitution, often considered the definition of constitutional, Bigguns noted that it wasn't in "his Constitution."

"That's right, I have my own private Constitution that I defer to on all matters," he noted. "And that Amendment 64 crap ain't in my Constitution, and that's the only one that counts here in Routt County. How you like them apples, hippies?"