It’s The Little Things That Count… Piano Etiquette and Your Piano Students

My very first piano teacher was a huge stickler for “piano etiquette”. And when I say she was big on piano manners and performance etiquette, I mean, I practiced these “manners” at every single lesson. It was as much a part of my learning the piano as was note reading.

I used to think this was kind of old fashioned and a bit silly. As a young teacher I, of course, would teach my own students the “correct” way to do things, but I didn’t usually insist upon it (I felt that recitals could be stressful enough for some kids without having extra things to worry about and remember).

But as I sat and watched a figure skating competition with my daughter recently, I was reminded of why (many years ago) I switched back to the “old ways”. It was the skaters who clearly had been schooled in the proper ways of skating performance who came across as the most confident and the most polished. These little things made a clear difference to the way they carried themselves and to the audience’s perception of them as a skater.

Bring Back The Piano Manners

I’ve renewed my commitment this spring season to make piano etiquette an important part of my teaching. The points I’m focusing on are below. But, we’d love to hear from you – what are your “Piano etiquette” rules? What do you insist upon when it comes to performance manners? Share in the comments below! Here are mine:

1. Bow before you perform to acknowledge the applause. Audiences used to know that it was appropriate to clap for the musician who was entering the stage to perform. This now isn’t always the case (I often “start the clap” if it doesn’t happen in a recital). Piano students should bow to their applauding audience before they sit down at the bench (not acknowledging applause is generally considered to be rude).

2. Enter the bench from the side furthest from your audience. This was a biggie for my former piano teacher and I’m reminded of it every time I see a student slink in from the “front side”… or climb over the top. I used to think this was awfully stuffy – but when you see a student do it, it just looks right.

3. Hands in your lap before you begin. I use this with my piano kids to give them a moment to hear the first few measures in their mind before they begin, but they often forget and do so with their hands on the piano. From now on, it’s hands in lap. They’re learning that once fingers are on the keys it means they are ready to play. If the bench needs adjusting it should be done first… and then their hands should be placed in their lap before they begin.

4. Hands in lap after you finish. So many piano students are already lifting themselves off the bench as they play the final note (perhaps really eager to return to their seat in the audience!?) Learning to place their hands in their lap after they finish gives their audience a moment to truly relish what they just heard.

5. Bow from the hips, and don’t curtsey. Bowing nicely takes practice! Little head ducks, bows that are too long or too short or the little “bop-down curtsey” (or the forget it all and walk away!) are really common in recitals, but they can often really spoil the feelings your audience has been left with after a great performance. My piano teacher used to teach bows to the count of six (three counts as you bend down, look at your shoes, three counts as you come out of the bow).

6. Walk calmly off the stageor away from the piano. No running… no matter how badly you want to get back to your seat! 🙂

Let’s Bring Back Performance Etiquette By Starting Young

No matter how fun your piano recitals are, how casual you want them to be for the sake of nerves, or how young your students may be, I’ve learned that teaching your students piano performance etiquette is important. Just as we aspire to teach children good manners (and really take note of children who do have good manners), good “piano manners” are also noticed, appreciated and serve as one more way to raise the level of your students.

What “piano manners” do you teach your students? Share in the comments below.

46 Responses to It’s The Little Things That Count… Piano Etiquette and Your Piano Students

For me it’s mostly bowing – and getting rid of the “magician bow” (tucking a hand behind the back and extending the other hand out front). I don’t know where students get that one from!

Other than that, I’m pretty informal when it comes to ettiquite. They always start with their hands in their lap but I only use that because it makes them think before they play.

Oh and of course, being okay adjusting the bench on a stage. Since the studio I work at doesn’t have a set “progression” (it’s a bit of a recital circus of drums, singing, guitar, violin, and piano) for recitals, it’s not uncommon to have an adult-sized pianist right before a very small one.

These actions seem like etiquette but I wonder if they actually discourage individuality by giving the impression that performing music is a “uniform” activity for players and listeners alike. This is why jazz/pop musicians wear whatever they want on stage and interact with the audience in a personal way. To me a silly bow that shows personality is adorable. I’m for more fun, less control.

When my upright teaching piano broke down almost 2 years ago my tech suggested a baby grand in my home studio. I protested that because I teach such young beginners I wasn’t sure I could handle seeing little hands go from mouth to nose to piano keys and back! He wisely and gently offered that maybe it was an opportunity to teach etiquette. Now, I am so glad he planted that seed because I have a beautiful baby grand for my students to play each week and I have the opportunity to incorporate etiquette all the time. I have my studio etiquette posted in and outside of the studio and it includes everything from hand-washing before playing the piano to sitting properly on the bench and not chewing gum. For recitals I also teach everyone how to enter and exit the bench properly and to do a proper bow. I try to make it fun by doing it really goofy myself and seeing how many mistakes they can point out in what I did. Setting the standards high is never a bad thing…as long as we give them the tools to meet those standards. Great post! Keep up the great work!

Sheesh ! I was thinking more like….DO not scramble off the bench and run around the room and play the guitars that are on the stands and dig through my fabulous Rubbermaid tub of piano fun and hey, get down off that couch and don’t smash the pedal down and please don’t collect saliva in your cheeks and whoosh it around while you play……and here’s a Kleenex for that and oops we need to wipe your hands off now…… sorta stuff!

These are great reminders! An old music teacher taught me to say “Did I shine my shoes
today?” as I looked down, and “Yes! I shined my shoes today!” as I looked back up. That is usually met with laughs the first time my students hear it. We also discuss how a bow is a “thank you” to the audience; that seems to help them understand why bowing is so important.
Thanks for another wonderful post!

Interesting timing as today is my winter recital. I have been teaching my ensembles how to present in a group and teaching my new students bowing, etc. I read some where that a fun way to teach children how long they should bow is to have them bow and think to themselves while looking down, “Look I have on shoes!” before straightening. Another topic that goes hand in hand with piano etiquette is concert etiquette. I am always amazed by what parents think is permissible during recital. Sometimes it is the teacher promoting improper “manners”. One of my children has a fabulous teacher who has one quirk that grates. She allows families to show up ten or so minutes before they need to perform and then doesn’t seem to mind when once the child is finish, the entire family exits too. Not cool!

Thank you. My biggest irk is the student standing up while hands are still on keys from last chord of piece. At my church school, I am the only teacher to have students intoduce themselves and bow. Hence, a piano teacher teaches more than just notes.

I have done many of these, but students do need more continuous reinforcement of these skills. As far as concert “dress”, my students have one formal recital during the year (yes, that means no jeans or tennis shoes). Our summer recital is more informal as far as clothing. The others recitals are varied. The etiquette skills are used in each recital. Thanks for reinforcing skills that are becoming lost in our society (courtesy and etiquette). I also provide a photo opp for the parents during warm-ups so they aren’t being a distraction to students or other families during the recital. Parents with video cameras are asked to make sure that they do not hinder the sight of the audience. I also reinforce with my students that we all clap no matter how the performance goes and don’t evaluate your performance in front of the audience (rolling eyes, etc.).

I agree with all those points for formal performance. It is just classier! …But we do need to educate the parents as well. This trend of coming in late (and disturbing the person performing) or leaving as soon as their kid has played is just rude and inconsiderate.

Help me with this. Every concert I’ve gone to to hear a professional pianist, they walk out in front of the bench (closest to the audience), sometimes speak, bow right there and sit down. I can not envision them walking around to the other side of the bench to get “in.” That would some unnatural. I follow all the etiquette rules you mentioned except the approach to the piano.

Hi Becky – I have no idea where it came from, but when students do it it just looks right to me 🙂 I have heard/seen this from other teachers too and this was drilled in to me as a child. I think it might be because adjusting the bench, if it needs it, looks more polite from that far side rather then bending over and showing the audience your rear (?!) maybe?! Obviously you don’t need to follow everyone else etiquette – that’s part of what makes individuality in teachers such a gift!

When my kids bow after their performance I have them think “Hello, pink Hippopotamus” When we rehearse it they always laugh, but each year my previous students remember it, and it helps them to remember to smile 🙂

I’m teching from what side to enter and exit the bench – I was taught this by my first piano teacher, and also bowing before and after the performance. Thanks for reminder about hands on the lap before and after performance.

Over here we always enter the bench from the side nearest the audience. It looks a little silly if the student bows to the audience in front of the piano and then walks to the far side of the bench to sit down.

Hmm….I was always taught to enter and exit from the right side of the bench (where the audience should always be). I will have to watch some professionals to see what they do.

I think I will stop adjusting the bench for my younger students in their lesson. They need to learn to do this for themselves.

I am a huge stickler on prior recital attire! No jeans, no tennis shoes, no t- shirts. No bracelets or other jewelry that will make noise while playing. Girls may wear slacks as long as they are very nice. Skirts MUST cover the knees WHEN SITTING DOWN! I do not want the audience seeing the side of their thigh! (I will actually send them home to change over this one) Hair should be styled in such a way that the audience can see their face. Makeup should be age – appropriate. If they choose to wear heals, they need to practice in them and be sure they can comfortably manage the piano pedal, as well as the steps going up to the stage.

I hire a professional videographer for our formal recital. A copy of the video is included in the recital fee. Then I ask parents not to video at all, so that they ate not blocking the view of the other parents.

I also tell my students that they are absolutely forbidden to make negative comments about another student’s performance during the reception afterward.

I teach my students to say, “I love my shoes” when they bow…to themselves, of course! I even have a cute little sign that I made to remind newbies of that very thing. That little saying is the perfect amount of time to take a proper bow.

Thanks for this important post. I’m way too lax about these things and it’s great to get some insight into why it’s important. I think I’ll start having at least one performance opportunity that is formal, and then others where they can have some fun so the students get to see both sides of the performance coin. Most students won’t be doing formal concerts for the rest of their life, but I hope many will be having fun “performing” forever.

i have a poster that outlines the process of performing at the piano and a handout that i use with all students. i teach the process in a group class at least once a year, picking someone to demonstrate the “correct” way to perform and then picking someone to demonstrate the “wrong” way to approach performing at the piano. they ALL want to be the one that demonstrates the “wrong way” but it provides beautiful comic relief. i find then that my whole group of students work together to keep each other on their toes with learning to approach the piano to play, etc. sometimes i have videotaped student performances to review the approach and the exiting of the piano at the lesson following the recital. eventually they use the “manners” just like breathing. i think it adds a lovely sense of formal to a recital. it also teaches them how to present themselves with confidence in front of an audience. loved the post!

I was taught that, when soloing, you approach from the audience side of the piano; when you are accompanying someone, you approach from the opposite side of the bench from the audience. Thanks for the “sayings” for bowing. I’ll definitely use them to help my students pave their bows!

Thank you, Sandra, for introducing one of my pet peeves — the family who leave with their student after they have performed! When I taught group piano at the high school, this would constantly happen, and by the time the last students performed, where was the audience for them?! Poor kids! It also has happened in private recitals. Never mind I had already informed the kids that they would be expected to stay for the entire recital — if the parents weren’t courteous or uneducated in protocol, those students had to leave.

Yes to hands in the lap – I reinforce this by practicing their beginning hand position for their piece from hands in the lap, then instantly to the keys. I only have a spring recital every year and by providing a reception afterwards, none of my families have left before the recital was over!

I come from the Southeast in the U.S., and manners matter! “Yes m’am” is common here! I do emphasize piano etiquette. I have a section in my Studio Policy called “Studio Etiquette” and a place for both parent and student to sign/initial. And leading up to recitals, I start covering etiquette for both the audience and the student. I do this by adding tips to my newsletter, sending a Recital letter home a few weeks before regarding dress and one or two other important recital matters (this is the ONLY letter I mail home on paper with a stamp…so they know its important; all other communication is in person, by phone or email/text), and then I hold an informal rehearsal the evening before with students only. We have fun, but we practice all recital etiquette that evening. The students eat it up. I think they love having those anchors and knowing exactly what to do; as well as feeling polished and special. It seems to ease those nerves tremendously! And what a help it will be to them in college, and even in life.

I give out awards at the end of the recital, so students stay for the end to receive their award. I also announce to parents in my recital info sheet that they will need to arrive on time to the recital, and plan to stay for the entire thing. We practice bowing for weeks prior to the recital, and I tell them as they practice at home, each time they play their piece they should approach the bench, make adjustments, play, bow, and walk away, because that is part of the performance too and should be practiced as well. 🙂 We don’t bow or announce our pieces before playing though…students just go one after the other in quick succession. As one finishes bowing and starts to return to their seat, that cues the next student to approach the piano.

I’m coming from a different angle-I have a small studio-less than 20 performers for my one yearly recital at the end of the school year. I have horrible memories of my first recital and try to keep things very low key since the recital is in my home. They can’t sit down from the right side-no room. I do recommend sitting for a few seconds to think about their piece before beginning. (I have had the barely sit down and start and stand up before done students also.) I do not require them to bow afterwards, I didn’t have to do that either. They are usually so relieved to be done, a big smile, or grimace is on their face depending on their performance. I do so much want these performances to be positive, I don’t stress the etiquette to the extreme. I do sit off to the side on my stool and give them encouragement no matter how well they do. My students will never be concert pianists or flute virtuosi-just hopefully those who develop a life long love of music.

I use these etiquette rules: Bow after performance to acknowledge applause, no movement or noise while a performer is playing (to lessen distraction for the performer), if you MUST exit/enter the room during a recital, wait until the performer is finished playing. I don’t have a dress code other than: no jeans, leggings, or flipflops.
My old teacher had the “approach the bench from the furthest side rule”. I love the rule, but I have chosen to focus on the above items for now, and will incorporate the bench rule when I can.

I would encourage all teachers to also include performance etiquette regarding proper behavior of listening, purposely not being a distraction to others who are performing.

I just experienced watching my son perform and get off in his performance as other two kids started to laugh. One stopped when his parent “gave him the eye”, the other did not stop. He continued to giggle, wiggle and be disruptive.

Reviewing performance etiquette on the part of the audience use to be taught. Usually through upper class expected manors; those gong to concerts, orchestras, ballet, and operas.

Today, I have noticed, the need for the orators, or the conductor, “educating” the public of expected behaviors.

I have also heard of performers and or conductors haunting the performance until those who are distracting are removed.
When my child and I confronted the other children who were disruptive, one parent decided to quit being friends.

Please include in performance etiquette, audience or listening etiquette. Teach it to students, and again before recitals or any performance, as so many children and “adults” seem unaware of standard performance manors. Cell phones, talking, eating, laughing. It is really amazing how numb our society is becoming.

Never thought about doing this at every lesson but do teach it for performance. Interesting concept, may keep the students from plucking at the piano once were done with the piece ( and I have to reminded them that I will lose my voice if I have to talk over their playing).

We use the “On Deck Seat”, like in baseball. It’s just the seat next to me in the front row and it’s for the performer who is the next “batter”, er, um, performer. When they are “next to next”, they rise quickly and walk to the On Deck Seat to watch the performer before them play. When it’s their turn, all they have to do is zip right up to the microphone and announce themselves, etc. Keeps things rolling. Four weeks prior to the recital, I use the sofa as their audience spot, the waiting area as the On Deck Seat, then they go to the microphone area, and finally they do their business at the piano. We do it again and again so they feel super comfortable.

How would you approach students playing multiple pieces at a recital? Not movements of a work, but two different pieces altogether. Should the audience clap/should the student bow? I’ve seen that done at solo recitals.

Hi Shelby – when I have this happen I have the student come up at two separate occasions. It adds variety to the recital, plus, for young students, it helps them to get their jitters out on the first piece and return to the piano for their second piece more relaxed 🙂