WEEK 4; RIBBETING W’S

Week four kicked off this past weekend and that means one thing and one thing only; we are officially at the halfway point (including playoffs). Time flies when you’re having fun right?

To preface the big question of the week; the Vikings Rage game was rescheduled. This was due to the Corporate Implementation Officer of District resonance at the Blitz headquarters being required to synergize frictionless interactive platforms for competitive exoduses. The contest was adjourned and will be consummated at a latter date.

8am; frost on the grass, crunchy under the cleats, revelry filled the stands. At the 8am contest, the shorthanded Athletes took their unbeaten record on the road to take on the Tigers and their winless record. Even with a cast of backups, the Athletes still prevailed kings in this one. They tamed the Tigers cast of backups with ease. 10 minutes into the game, and the Athletes were out to a 14 point lead. 20 minutes, they were up to at 26 point lead. By the time the smoke was cleared and the home fans paper bagged their faces, the away team racked up 33 points whilst only surrendering a mere 2. The Athletes came to ball with 6 men and 5 of them scored TD’s. Both teams come out of this way the same way they entered, with a zero in their records. Athletes win, 33 nil.

8:30; frost of the grass, bud lights on the case, nerves in the air. The 8:30 endeavor was a matchup of two undefeated teams as Flagnado and America’s Children squared off. Flagnado got on the board first in their first possession of the game. They jumped out to a 7 point lead when Bill Savary caught a leaping post over the safety with strong hands to give his team the lead. In a battle between two of the league’s top defensive squads, neither team was able to get on the board again for the rest of the half. Flagnado would get the ball out of the half and begin their offensive drive. On just the second play from scrimmage, Jake Tinirella would jet sweep to his left, get the edge thanks to a nice block by Kuch, then Tinirella would tip-toe the sideline and scamper into the endzone to go up by 13. The Flagnado D would stand it’s ground for the entirety of the half. Dylan Humphrey stole his league leading 5th interception of the season on the Children’s final drive to seal the deal. Humphrey would add an insurance TD under a minute to put the nail in the coffin. America’s Children played strong but just weren’t enough missing a few key contributors. Flagnado wins on the road, 20-0.

9am; partly sunny and partly brisk, fans filled the stands to see a possible upset of epic proportions. Illmatic were the cinderella’s of the B playoffs last season as they would upset 2 teams on route to the conference championship. They lost their all-pro wide receiver to free agency this offseason and came into this season with high hopes and a slightly revamped roster. Unfortunately for the home team and the children in the stands, they didn’t get to see what they paid for. Their team was only able to muster up just 13 points against an undefeated Juggernaut currently known as Tune Squad. The Tune Squad has been setting records in touchdowns, yards, points and interceptions. They lived up to the hype full heartedly in this one as they hung a league high 51 points on the loveable Illmatic veterans. Larry Dirocco led the way with 3 receiving TD’s while Alex Golden picked off 3 passes en route to victory. Quarterback Derek Stella kep his MVP hopes alive tossing 7 more TD’s and also adding a pick six to his season’s resume. The Tune Squad make short work of Illmatic, 51-13.

9:30; calm winds, ominous skies, empty stadium. The Vinegar Strokes went on the road to take on winless Beast Mode. The Strokes were without their captain and league tackles leader, Al Macdougal who took the week away from Blitz US to test out Blitz Britain and of course check out the new confines of the newest addition to the royal family. Luckily for his team, they didn’t need his services as the Vinegar Strokes would win easily. Despite a first half that featured a Chad Crockett one handed diving TD. Followed by a Beast Mode safety sack and Bartin Meccerril 60 yard TD run. And then just two plays later saw Austin Ogiba run a 60 yard bubble screen for TD, the second half was the total opposite. Fatigue began to set in for the Beast Mode home team as only playing with four guys tends to do to teams. The Vinegar Strokes took full advantage of it and owned the second half. Ogiba caught another TD on a beautiful Stop n’go route. QB Cody Vanden Burgh then caught a pick six on one drive, a pick on the next and a TD toss to Crockett on the next. The Strokes bounce back from their tough loss last week and down Beast Mode, 30-8.

10am; desolate away bench, eager home crowd filled with anticipation. At 10am we had a first for the 2018 season, as the away team Young Dynasty’s team bus veered off a cliff prior to the game and was unable to compete in the contest. Okay, so that didn’t really happen but it felt that way. Instinct got TD’s from Gunner Siverly, Giovanni Vasquez and a pair from Martin Beccerril. Instinct rolls and gets their first W of the season, 28-0.

10:35; scattered clouds, peaking sunset, black jerseys as far as the eye could see. In a battle tough for the colorblind, a game between New Wave and the Dream Killers went down for real. Both teams rolled out their backup QB’s and in the process unveiled some hidden stars and new talents that wouldn’t have been discovered otherwise. Dream Killers struck first when Matt Thomas hit Kyle Twiss deeeeeeeeep over the middle for the game’s first score. The New Wave would answer back instantly. JJ Lopez connected with Harmel Nkongolo on a deep seam to tie it up. With the Dream Killers stalling on their next several possessions and New Wave doing the same, the first half sat at 90 seconds in possession of New Wave. Lopez picked apart the Killers D slowly up the field. He would eventually hit Harmel once more for the go-ahead TD before the half. Coming out of the lockerroom, if you were to guess who would score the next TD, it wouldn’t be hard to guess as Harmel struck for the third time. He caught a one handed burner TD up the sideline a la Randy Moss to go up 20-6. The Dream Killers would finally respond. Andre Rioux caught his first TD of the season to pull within 8. After several stalled drives by both teams, Rioux scored again for Dream Killers to tie it up. With the crowd cheering and wondering how Overtime works, JJ Lopez had one last trick up his pair of Supreme sleeves. He marched his team up the field slowly once again and what seemed like it took forever, he rolled out, threw a pump fake, shook his hips to avoid the sack, then threw a pea to Bobby Cipolla in the back of the endzone for the game winner. New Wave hangs on and evens their record, 26-20.

11:05am; hot, the scent of sunscreen and bud light in the air. The Punishers and Blue Balls of Doom met up in what many called in preseason, “a possible champion preview.” Sadly though, with the talent of the Street Conference and the surprises of the Sewer Conference, both teams have a lot of work to do before we can use that phrase again in the near future. This game was knotted at 6’s going into the half with a rushing TD from Dane Schindler and receiving TD for all-world DB, AJ McKelvey. The Punishers got the eventual game-winning scoring drive during the Blue Balls first possession. Shaun Leal aka Shizz sacked the QB to go up by 2. Jovy Santos would then end a 12 game personal scoring drought with a receiving TD as seen only on Blitz facebook live. Justin Vasquez would later add another receiving TD for the Punishers to finish their day. The Punishers blank the Blue Balls in the second half and win, 21-6.

Noon; sweat dripped from foreheads as the heat reared its ugly head for the first time this season. The Scoregasms and Battletoads squared off in the BGOW; a rivalry that goes back to 2013. With Gun n’ Roses and Eminem blaring from the PA system, the home crowd was amped in hopes to see the Toads earn their first franchise victory against the rivaled foe. As per usual, the Scoregasms scored first. QB Derek Riley connected with Dan Walkley on a fourth down post over the top of the safety. The Battletoads would respond by way of Josh Briand who punched it over the pylon after two close but no cigar tries previously. Prior to the 2 minute warning, Walkley struck again. He was surprisingly left all alone in the front of the endzone for six. It seemed to want to end that way for the half but Ben Phelps miraculously summoned a ball to his chest as he went back flipping and rolling over the first down marker to keep the Toads drive alive. Right as the first half clock was winding down, Scott French shoveled the ball to Ben Glassman who waltzed into the endzone defender free to head into the half trailing by 2 missed extra points. After the Toads forced a turnover on downs, the next three possessions determined the outcome of the game. The Toads hopped down the field with ease on their ensuing possession. Nick Kepka Calvetti single handedly took over the game by himself. He led the game with 9 receptions, 4 of which came on this scoring drive. The fourth leading to a wheel route shimmy shake for a go ahead TD. After yet another missed conversion, the Scoregasms would take the lead back just three plays later. And who else but Walkley once again. This time by way of a deep bomb for his second touchdown hat trick of the young season. The Battletoads and Kepka would then take over on their own one to begin their drive. On first and forever, French would drop back, flip a bubble screen in Kepka’s direction and then he would tip toe the sideline for 20 yards before shaking defenders loose and scoring his second TD of the game. The Toads went up by 3 points and that’s where it would end. The Scoregasms drove the ball down to the Battletoads side of the field twice after but couldn’t flip the scoreboard. The Toads earn their first victory against the Scoregasms in ribbeting fashion, 24-21.

12:45; deserted stadium, muted fanfare from the sidelines. The culmination of the day featured a duo of singular surnamed adversaries as the Goonies went on the road to take on the Reapers. The Goonies were without QB1 and QB2 in a tough matchup but they gutted it out the best a Goonie could do; Goonies never say die. The Reapers welcomed back DJ Ramos for the first time since week one and he made his presence known on the first drive. He caught his 5th TD of the season to take the early lead. Kenny Powers added another TD after Josh Thomas pick to close out the half. The Goonies brought in Tek to play QB for spells in the second and it worked to their advantage as he tossed a TD to Will Washington on their first drive together to cut the lead in half. That was as close as the Reapers would let them get. Shawn Fitzgerald would find the endzone by way of beautiful floater by QB Pucho Rivera. Later, Yerinson Cruz picked off another Goonies pass and then on the other end caught his first career TD to close the day out. The Reapers continue shredding their opponents, 26-7.