Due to the popularity of said games, we are setting aside this area of the forum for all you Wishbone Ash gamers out there. All previously posted games in "Outward Bound" have been move to this location. Play on!

A kid runs into the local police station and gasps "Come quick,me dad's getting his head kicked in down the pub!" The duty sargeant grabs his helmet (ooer missus) and dashes after him.Sure enough,two burly guys are having a real ding-dong of a scrap."Which one's your dad?" asks plod,"I dunno"says the kid,"that's what they're fighting about!"

An Englishman, Scotsman and Irishman all died on Xmas Eve and passed to the pearly gates where St Peter was waiting for them. he explained that because it was Christmas they could not pass through the gates unless they carried something festive.

The Englishman produced a lighter from his pocket and duly lit it.

St Peter asked why was that festive. The Englishman replied, 'it's like a candle'. St Peter said that will do and let him pass through the gates.

The Scotsman searched his pockets and produced a bunch of keys which he rattled.

St Peter asked why was that festive. TheScotsman replied, 'they sound like jingle bells'. St Peter said that will do and let him pass through the gates.

The Irishman searched and searched and eventually pulled a pair of ladies knickers from his inside pocket.

Three twenty year olds were discussing where they would go for a Christmas celebration. After a short time they decided to go to the ‘Cliffe Hotel Scarborough’, where they said ‘all the waiters had nice little bums’.

Twenty years later they were having the same discussion and after a days deliberation decided to go to the ‘Cliffe Hotel Scarborough’ as the ‘food and atmosphere was great’.

Again twenty years later they were having the same discussion and after a week of thinking came up with going to the ‘Cliffe Hotel Scarborough’ as ‘the views were spectacular’.

Twenty years later the same discussion arose. The ladies took nearly a month to decide. The outcome was to go to the ‘Cliffe Hotel Scarborough’.... as they had never been there before.

Two old men chatting over a pint at the pub. Mr Grumpy says "I think my wife is having an affair with a man called Cy " His fellow drinker asks why? He replies " every time l pinch her bottom or stand behind her and squeeze her voluptuous breasts she goes sigh,sigh"

At a funeral for a late-middle-aged woman, the pallbearers bang the casket into a wall on their way out of the parlour. Everyone hears a moan, and when opened, the casket reveals the woman, alive and fairly well. She goes on to live for ten more years and then dies again. At her funeral, the husband says "Mind that wall..."

Gaucho wrote:At a funeral for a late-middle-aged woman, the pallbearers bang the casket into a wall on their way out of the parlour. Everyone hears a moan, and when opened, the casket reveals the woman, alive and fairly well. She goes on to live for ten more years and then dies again. At her funeral, the husband says "Mind that wall..."

For the Celts among us or those of said ansestry! (Thanks Leon!)As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn’t stop for directions.

I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.

I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I’ve never played before for this homeless man.

And as I played ‘Amazing Grace,’ the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.

As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, “I never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”