#1

“Look, I’m perpetually twelve. If you leave the door open just a crack for sexual innuendo or fart jokes, I come crashing in like the Kool-Aid man.”

#2

And I don’t know about you, but when Daylight Savings Time hits each spring, I long (like 10 times that Sunday/Monday) to live in Arizona where they don’t bother with this crap. Gina Valley expresses it perfectly in Top 10 Reasons Daylight Savings Time is the Devil.

Incidentally, #3 on her list completely happened to us:

“It makes everyone arrive 30 minutes early for the second service at church on Sunday morning, when we were in fact all shooting for the first service, but forgot to adjust our clocks.”

#3

And finally, the post that has yet to be beat – I still go back and visit it every few months for a gigantic belly laugh: Surviving Whole Foods by Kelly MacLean.

She had me with this opener, but every time I read this thing I practically go into convulsions. I swear, I’ve been to her store.

Whole Foods is like Vegas. You go there to feel good but you leave broke, disoriented, and with the newfound knowledge that you have a vaginal disease.

16 Responses to 3 Posts That Made My Cowbell Clang

These are terrific, Jenny! Loved the WF one, will get to the others later…back to work! P.S. – loved “The pretzels are very fattening but I’m already in the seventieth percentile of ugly so who cares.” LOL!

Florence, I am so madly in love with that video…I’ve shared it widely. I hope she goes viral with that thing. It’s such a happy song over such an unhappy topic, and I can just imagine sitting around with my girlfriends and going that. (Although I would definitely be doing the back-up part.)

Thanks, Phil! I’m gonna have to go buy some GF beer so I can be fun green here at home. 🙂

Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s in San Francisco are like that. It’s crazy. I didn’t realize it was worse in NYC. That “Namaste” from the Prius “who crept up on her like a panther” in the parking lot SLAYED me.

Ohmygosh Kelly’s post is hysterical! That’s how I feel about my co-op. Maybe I have candida, probably not, I’m way too poor.

And Heather’s post is funny too! I laughed at a great many things in Catholic school as well. For example, when we got a new priest, all my friend’s moms referred to him to as Father What-a-Waste because they thought he was cute. I wonder if our congregation’s number of confessions went up that year…

I’d seen the one about Whole Foods (I think I bookmarked it into Springpad) and I’ve exiled myself from Facebook until at least April 20, but the other two were a riot. (The link for the Gina Valley post is broken: too many “http://”s.)