Restricting visitors will protect ill mom

Tuesday

Jan 31, 2012 at 12:01 AMJan 31, 2012 at 12:20 PM

Dear Abby: My 80-year-old mother was recently admitted to the hospital gravely ill. She had been undergoing chemotherapy and caught double pneumonia. My 36-year-old niece went to visit Mama, took pictures of her lying in her hospital bed and emailed the photos to everyone.

Dear Abby: My 80-year-old mother was recently admitted to the hospital gravely ill. She had been undergoing chemotherapy and caught double pneumonia. My 36-year-old niece went to visit Mama, took pictures of her lying in her hospital bed and emailed the photos to everyone.

It was shocking and upsetting seeing my mother this way. Many of the people who received the photos had not been able to visit her. What’s your opinion on this?

— Sincerely Upset in Florida

Dear Sincerely Upset: What your niece did was a gross invasion of privacy.

If your mother is still hospitalized, talk to the nurse in charge of the unit and give her a list of visitors who should have access to her. Explain why you want visitation restricted, and your mother’s privacy will be ensured.

Dear Abby: My sister’s husband died suddenly three years ago. “Pamela” says she’s in love with a 60-year-old man, “Mickey,” whose company is doing work on her home. She has put on a new roof, siding and deck, and the jobs aren’t ending.

Friends and family are concerned that Pamela is scheduling more jobs to see Mickey. When I pointed out that he hasn’t even invited her out for coffee, she claimed they have a relationship because he hugged her, kissed her on the cheek and told her, “You’re my girlfriend.”

Pamela has invited Mickey to family events, but he turns her down because he’s “visiting relatives out of town.”

None of us has met him, and we’re worried she is imagining a relationship. What can we do before Pamela goes broke or crashes emotionally?

— Something’s Missing in New Jersey

Dear Something’s Missing: Do you know the name of Mickey’s company? Start checking him out. Something does seem fishy.

Mickey might be married, and your sister might be grasping at straws. But it is her money.

Dear Abby: I am a 12- year-old girl who needs your advice. My friend and I went shopping awhile back, and she lent me money to buy a few things. Later that day, however, she lost the bag that had my stuff in it at the mall.

One day she brought up that I haven’t paid her back, but I said I don’t think I should have to repay her, because she lost the stuff she bought for me.

Who is right?

— Needs Advice in Oakland, Calif.

Dear Needs Advice: You are. She’s out the money; you’re out the “goods.” You’re even.