Monday, November 22, 2010

Whatever happens in a Turkish bathhouse stays in the Turkish bathhouse. This is an ancient Turkish saying spanning thousands of centuries , but I am going to break it now , a full year after the experience.

As some of you might know, I was in Turkey on vacation last December. My friend and I joined a tour group that brought us around the country and at one of the pit stops we were offered the chance to go to a hamam, a traditional Turkish bathhouse.

So a couple of us from the tour group decided to go try it out. Basically it was 5 guys and 4 women. When we got there we got changed into our towels and then asked to go to the sauna to sweat it out. It was a mixed sauna, but the girls for some reason stayed at the opposite end away from me. It could have been due to the looks I was giving them, I don't know.

So one by one we were asked to go out to this main area, where they had a guy waiting to give us our scrubdown. When it was my turn to go, I was greeted with a smile by a rather handsome if a bit older looking guy in a towel. He sat me down on the side of the room,and proceeded to scrub me with this scary looking bristled brush in his hand.

To say that it was the most amazing feeling in the world would be an understatement. I could literally feel the dirt being removed from my body as he scrubbed me from head to toe. I just closed my eyes and enjoyed the immense pleasure radiating through my body, it felt so great that I think I subconsciously begin to moan in this low rumbling tone. And then I couldn't feel his hands anymore. You know that feeling you get when you are errm...admiring...some chick in a porno video and then out of nowhere they reveal that girl has a huge penis? Yep, multiply that feeling by a hundred - that was exactly how I felt when he removed his hands.

Pulled out of my euphoric state of mind, I opened my eyes and saw him staring in a very disgusted manner at me. I guess it's against Turkish bathhouse rules to moan during scrubbing or something. I grabbed his magical hands and pleaded him to continue, even offering him a generous tip if he continued, but he just said "No more, no more" and gestured me to lie on this circular marble structure in the middle of the room. I tried a final attempt at changing his mind by using my sad puppy dog eyes look, but he was unflinching. Dejected, I got up and walked sadly to the center of the room.

The marble surface was actually heated so it felt quite nice and started to relax once again. Just as I started to doze off I was rudely awoken by a splash of cold water on me. It was my guy with the magical hands. Basically this was the rinsing/soaping portion of the bath. Then he asked me to turn on to my stomach. As I did, he suddenly took off my towel!! I was starting to get worried that this was part of a special punishment for moaners but almost immediately (and rather expertly) he wedged it between my butt cheeks to protect my last remaining strands of modesty.

He then proceeded to soap and massage me. It was obvious that the dynamics of our brief relationship had changed since the scrub, his heart just didn't seem to be into it. And then he started cracking my joints. He was cracking joints where I didn't even know there were joints. I started moaning again, this time in a mixture of pain and pleasure, but all it did was to fuel his rage and he became even rougher. I grabbed the edges of the marbles not knowing where this ride would take me or how it would end, but it didn't matter anymore cos I just didn't care.

Finally it ended. He stood with his arms crossed and nodded towards the exit. I looked at him one last time and realized that this was the end, we would never cross paths again.

So that was my first and only experience to date in a hamam. I highly recommend it to anyone who visits Turkey, it's an experience to remember. Never have a man's hands felt so good against my body.