Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML

This kid has already figured out that mommy will always have his back and he'll be able to get away with anything. If the world is lucky, he'll grow up to be a human being in spite of dear old mom. If not, we'll see him on the news in about 15 years.

Pleonasm, you don't know me but I'm on fml almost every day n I hadn't seen you lately. Even though this comment was not very good, I think you're very intelligent n I like reading your stuff even when I don't understand it. Lol