Sunday, January 17, 2010

Steady...

There’s this great Baz Luhrmann poem that was turned into song called “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)” One of the lines in the song goes like this:

“Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.”

I cling to the thought of that! Here I am 39 years old, and I feel like I’m 17, still trying to figure out what I want to do when I grow up. Sometimes I feel bad about this. I look at my life, and I wonder why I don’t have it all figured out yet. This last year I’ve come to a realization. I may not know what I want to be when I grow up, BUT I do know what my life’s ambition is - to please God. Simple but true. I think I’m finally getting to a place where I’m realizing that that’s enough. I don’t have to have my life mapped out. I’m not a failure. It’s okay for me to wake up each day, and offer myself to God for whatever he may want. To follow him, no matter what that means. I was praying the other day, and I started thinking about Enoch. This is what Genesis 5:23-24 says about him –

“Enoch lived a total of 365 years. Enoch walked steadily with God. And then one day he was simply gone: God took him.”

That’s the kind of relationship I want to have with God. As I read those verses, I just imagine two people walking on a path together - Enoch and God. Notice that it says he walked steadily with God. Here’s the dictionary definition:

I think that Enoch’s relationship with God was his focus. It wasn’t something that was optional. He ALWAYS walked with God – Period.

I like to think that the reason that God took Enoch was because he wanted to be with him. He didn’t want to wait. He enjoyed his relationship and company so much that he just decided to take him home.

Sometimes I’m right there walking with God, in step with him in every way. But I also know that I’m easily distracted! Something else will catch my eye, and before I know it I’m excusing myself to go off and put my focus someplace else. I’m really trying to learn how to change that. I’m trying to really get that there’s nothing else in this world that deserves my focus like my relationship with God does. I desire to have a constant, habitual and steady relationship with him. I’ve been seeking change in my life, and that’s where it comes from. From me being intimate with the creator, and letting him change me from the inside out.