losing erection

Anyone ever had this problem?
Last night I was making out with a girl and completely hard for hours.
Then clothes came off and I was afraid of what she might think about my body and I was not as hard so I hesitated.
I got over it and she gave me a blowjob and we started having sex but I quickly lost my erection.
And it would not come back.
it was my second time having sex
it bothers me because I feel like I should have been aroused, but I wasn't. I had not drank in 2 hours.
I was feeling slightly guilty because this other girl I lost my V card to last week had wanted to hang out last night.
Part of me wonders if I am just not turned on by women...cause none of my straight friends can recall fucking and then losing their erections while having sex. They can recall not being able to get hard in the first place, but not actually having sex and then having an epic fail.
I was turned on before clothes came off. I was turned on by touching her body. I was turned on by her thighs and the warmth betwen her legs.
I think was scared and guilty because this girl was better looking then the first girl..
So now I am unhappy because the girl form last night is not going to be eager to see me again. She wanted me so bad and I told her I was going to fuck her so hard and then I failed epicly. :frown1:

Gold Member

Sounds like a dose of performance anxiety. Don't worry, we all get it at one stage or another. It will pass.

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I second koval's diagnosis, and he's also right that it's something that happens to almost all of us at one point or another. Of course, it's not the sort of thing that's easy for guys to admit face to face ... so of course none of your friends would fess up.

In my experience it's usually happened with new partners, and quickly goes away on its own by the second or third time together. It's had nothing at all to do with not finding the women I was with sufficiently arousing.

Something I might recommend if you lose your erection is to do some oral on her (if you are comfortable doing this). This offers a few benefits. First of all, if you are into oral (like me) it should quickly revive your erection. Second, it takes her mind, and more importantly YOUR mind, off the erection difficulties. Third, even if you don't regain your erection, hopefully you'll have brought her enough pleasure that she'll be willing to give you another try.

We actually hooked up again yesterday and I finished the first time with no problems. We did it again a few other times, and although I lasted a decent amount of time, I did not finish. She seems to get off really easy...so I guess she was happy...but she was "worried" about our chemistry since I was not finishing those subsequent times. I do feel more comfortable now that we had a decent experience.
I think me not finishing the majority of times may be something I will go through until I better understand my own timing. I think I start fucking because I can and not necessarily because I am ready. So I end up not finishing. When I first started masturbating, it was the same deal. I would lose my erection and regain it several times before finishing.

VerifiedGold Member

Don't worry, just relax. When you're uptight about performing, that restricts the blood vessels, and there goes your erection. It happens to 95% of men, and the other 5% lie about it. Next time, just enjoy yourself and think about how attracted you are to your partner, and nature will take over. As for the lack of orgasm....it's also related to your anxiety. Don't think of an orgasm as the goal of sex, but another way of being pleasured. Again, when you relax and stopping thinking about performing and cumming, nature will take over, and you'll get those toe-curling orgasms all people were made to have.

i also have experiance this problem, i have a newish partner and we started having full sex about a month ago. this happened 3-4 times, i was hard for hours of foreplay but as soon as i entered her it started goin soft, hopefull this will pass soon cos its been about 3-4weeks now. really gettin annoying and embarasing.