Many military families, particularly those in the enlisted
ranks, are already under stress as a result of factors ranging from low salaries
to poor housing. But now add deployment to a war zone to the everyday pressures
of military life. Studies after the Persian Gulf War showed divorce rates surged
at three Army bases that sent troops overseas, with increases ranging from 37%
to 56%. Although many marriages may have been unstable before separation, the
numbers are still high.

The military tries hard to help families adjust to uncertain lives, but although
information may penetrate the mind, it may not make it to the heart.

Soldiers
often married, with children

55% of military personnel are
married.

56% of those married are between 22 and 29.

One million military children are under 11.

40% are 5 or younger.

63% of spouses work, including 87% of junior-enlisted spouses.

Source: Department of Defense and National Military Family Association

"Even though you know internally that this is part of your
mission, you signed up for this, that doesn't mean you can always deal with
it," says Joyce Wessel Raezer of the National Military Family Association, a
non-profit advocate for military families. "Separation is a major stressor"
for the family.

Raezer is not delighted with reports of quickie marriages
being performed for couples expecting a deployment. "I'm not sure this is the
best time to do this," she says. The champagne can go flat quickly when reality
hits.

The fabric of some military families can be expected to
unravel, particularly after such a "prolonged period of peacetime," says Mary
Edwards Wertsch, author of Military Brats: Legacies of Childhood Inside the
Fortress. "Technically, the military is always being prepared. But the question
for the spouse and children is how prepared they can really be for the reality."

Add a new element this time: the danger of terrorist attack
back home, says Dennis Embry, a Tucson psychologist who testified before Congress
on military families after the Gulf War. "The dependents will, in effect, be
living in a war zone." Youngsters may show increased signs of anxiety, he says.

The nature of the military has changed dramatically since
the Vietnam War. "The all-volunteer military today is predominantly a young,
married force with children," says a report by Raezer submitted to Congress.
There are consequences for "recruiting someone with a family and expecting them
to live on a salary more appropriate for a single person in the barracks."

Financial issues are not as acute for most officers. But
budgets already stretched thin may give out when a mom or dad deploys from the
enlisted ranks. "Younger families depend on the service member having a second
job delivering pizza," Raezer says. "Or they provide child care in the evening
so a spouse can work at Wal-Mart."

Many are young with poor life skills, says a study by the
Rand Corp., a think tank on social and international issues. Its book, Invisible
Women: Junior Enlisted Army Wives, distills interviews with more than 100
spouses of enlisted men. Couples face "youth, lack of education, financial difficulties,
emotional and physical distance from extended family and invisibility in a large
bureaucracy," the study says.

The biggest overall challenge to family life is the frequency
with which young families must move, uprooting friendships, support systems
and plans for school, many experts say. "Military families move on average every
2.9 years; the civilian average is twice that figure," Raezer's report says.

Families under stress can become crucibles for alcoholism,
domestic abuse and mental illness, experts say.

Some military families succumb. A 1998 study for the Department
of Defense of 17,264 military personnel is concerned about the one in six who
engage in "heavy alcohol use," defined as five or more drinks at a time, at
least once a week. The report does find, however, declines in the overall use
of alcohol since 1980.

Sixteen percent were found in 1998 to need evaluation for
depression. While 18% wanted mental health care, only 9% received it. Many felt
such help would damage careers.

The military has learned from its experiences with families
in the Gulf War and intensified its support systems.

The Navy runs extensive programs to bolster the physical
and emotional needs of families before during and after deployment. "Reunion
teams" may help sailors on their way home from overseas learn how to re-establish
intimacy in a marriage or care for a baby born when Dad was overseas.

"The bottom line is realistic communication about expectations"
during deployment, says Lt. Col. Glen Bloomstrom, an Army chaplain. Everyday
issues that come up range from keeping a balanced family budget while overseas,
to decisions concerning the children while one parent is away.

The Army has programs for loved ones that "teach them how
to carry on day-to-day business affairs," and workshops "to teach them how to
take care of themselves during the separation," says Delores Johnson, director
of family programs at the U. S. Army Community and Family Support Center.

"We expect to see families much more capable of responding
to crises," Johnson says. "They won't allow problems to fester."