Eric Sykes: classic quotes

After comedian and TV star Eric Sykes dies, aged 89, we remember some of his
funniest and most memorable lines.

1. “I had lunch with a chess champion the other day. I knew he was a chess champion because it took him 20 minutes to pass the salt.”

2. “I asked my publisher what would happen if he sold all the copies of my book he’d printed. He said ‘I’ll just print another ten’.”

3. “There is a price to pay for everything. But I find that the price is very, very reasonable."

4. “Some people walk on stage and the audience warms to them. You can’t explain it, and you shouldn’t try. It's an arrogant assumption to say you ‘decide’ to become a comedian. The audience decides for you.”

5. “One never consciously observes. The only people who consciously observe are policemen and undercover agents.”

10. “It's a load of crap to say that comedians want to play Hamlet. A good comedian has more Hamlet in him than any straight actor.”

11. “The great comics all had one thing in common, and that was vulnerability. It seems to me a lot of today’s comedy is fireproof. People shouting at each other. Well, children do that."

12. “I’m proud of being a vaudevillian, the last of my line. A lot of people think my entertainment is candy-floss. Well, entertainment is too aggressive these days, all ‘in your face’.”

13. “I am only happy when I am working. If I’m not working, I get screwed up because my time is going, my life is slipping by.”

14. “If comedians want to make a social comment they can go to the House of Commons. I don’t swear or do anything suggestive, and I’ve held onto that belief because when you’re on stage you’re a role model.”

15. “Being deaf and partially blind means I don’t really watch TV. I wouldn’t know what to do with a remote control.”

16. “I tend to live in the wonderful world of my head, where every day the sun shines. Because of my age I like to live in an armchair and do just that.”

17. “I would like to be known as a master of my craft but certainly not a genius.”

18. “When I feel that I’ve gone over the finishing line, I hope that I’ll be the first to know.”

19. “For me, there’s a daffodil in every dustbin.”

20. “Happiness is only transient. What I am is an enthusiastic man. I look forward to tomorrow because I know full well that the sun is going to be shining and I’m going to feel great and with that note of optimism, I think we’re on the right track.”