Time to reload the Miltons machine. Send all sob stories to pimpmylook@barstoolsports.com or pimpmydate@barstoolsports.com and help us help you. And you need to send pictures! If you sent an email without a picture resend with one to be considered.

You can find him smashing beers off his head and pouring them all over girls in the middle of a party (his go to pick up line) dressed in whatever he feels like, theme or no theme. Whether it is hawaiian shirts in the dead of winter or Christmas sweaters in the spring he needs some serious help in the style category. This kid has an arsenal of tricks, or as he refers to them as a “power-play,” whether it be branding himself, shaving off his eyebrows, or late-night drinking alone in his bathtub, frequently shouting #SOE (Shrek Over Everything). This has gone on long enough considering his closing rate with girls is so poor he is frequently referred to as Eric Gagne. There is no way we can change his ignorant and egotistical attitude without some help.