The Yiddish and English Quiz

Can you tell if it sounds like what it means? Take this quiz and find out.

We’ve all heard that English is hard to learn; what with all the grammatical exceptions, multiple meanings, silent letters, and crazy spellings.

One of the reasons Yiddish has been adapted by non-native speakers is … the word usually sounds like what it is, not only the way it’s spelled, but in tone. “Happy” words often “feel”, well, happy. Yiddish words for “angry, not so nice, or bright” are often well, ugly. Even if you’ve never heard of Yiddish in, say Whitefish (Montana), chances are, you’ll get the meaning.

So today, I present you with two little quizzes: English vs. Yiddish, and for those of you who aren’t Yiddish speakers. I promise you, you’ll get at least an 80 per cent on Yiddish! On the English quiz … if you get four right, Funk and Wagnall is looking for you.

YIDDISH QUIZ:

1-YUTZ: “Darling, you know daddy and I think your intended is a yutz.”
MEANING:
A) “It may take a while, but his idea for a fleet of mobile matzo trucks to teach rednecks about our food could be genius.”
B) OK, you wanted to marry a dreamer. Encourage him, mamala … and you’ll come here to eat. “
C) “Mr. Wonderful on The Shark Tank ate him.”
ANSWER: C: His ideas are interesting to only the Village Idiot and Nachum the beggar. Better your daughter should go with a goat herd. Then again … better the yutzem find each other and keep their DNA from spreading to other families who aren’t idiots.

2. GONIF: “Everyone knows he’s a gonif, so should we buy one of his co-ops in Kielce?”
MEANING:
A) “Meanwhile, the man’s a real estate King in Eastern Europe.”
B) “Oy, this thief will be ‘gone if’ you buy.”
C) “Listen, he’s your uncle, we can trust him.”
ANSWER: B: Better you should buy a 1971 Pinto from him. His wife did and she’s still in rehab – and court.

3.SHLOCK: “I’d go to Sloman’s, but he only carries shlock.”
MEANING:
A)“His stuff are cheap knock-offs. I saw a mattress in there with the tag, ‘Serto.’”
B) “His furniture is nice, but he overcharges.”
C) “He has lovely Bavarian antiques, but I don’t ‘buy’ German.”
ANSWER: A: But more, his “Sertos” are so used a Jewish Princess could feel a pea lying on five of them. In fact Sloman is known for selling shlock items, which are so shoddy, even the Salvation Army turned them down.

4. KLUTZ: “Your son Herschel is such a klutz, his teachers were always calling about ‘what he did lately” in school.”
MEANING:
A) “What an adventurous son you have. You must be so proud.”
B) “If, God forbid, I should fall on the linoleum, I know I can count on Herschel to pick me up.”
C) “Herschel broke his foot playing ping pong?”
ANSWER: C: Herschel is so clumsy that if he were Moses, we’d have only five Commandments. (Coveting would be so-so.)

5. SHLEP: “OK! You’re moving. My Morty will help you shlep.”
MEANING:
A) “After work, Morty will come by. He loves exercising-by-shlepping.”
B) By the time my Morty shleps your vase, you can burn your mortgage.”
C) Maybe throw a shlep party. After all who doesn’t love a good shlep, especially when food’s involved?”
ANSWER: B: The “lovely-sounding shlep” is what every Jew avoids … dragging either themselves or stuff without the thrill of accomplishment. Trust me. Should you get a shlepper to shlep you’ll never see him or it again, at least in your lifetime.

Give yourself five points for every correct answer, and I’ll bet my Frizz-Ease, you got at least four right, whether you’re from Brooklyn or Borneo. We Jews have a history of saying what we mean and finding just the right word sound to embellish it.

Just as “Shalom,” “Shayna” and “Bubbala” are nice-sounding words, tell me, would you trust your will to a shlimazl?

ENGLISH QUIZ:

1- PULCHRITUDE: “Her pulchritude was so great, people stared!”
MEANING:
A) “With that body, that hair, those eyes, you could drop dead from her beauty.”
B) “It’s not nice to say, but good-looking she isn’t.”
C) “A few more pounds, and she’ll need that Reality Show. ‘The 650 Pound Woman.’ But I exaggerate.”
ANSWER: A: I ask you, does this word sound gorgeous or does it make you think of arms that flap like bat wings?

2- SUCCULENT: “That buffet was so succulent, I need Maalox.”
MEANING:
A) “I’m telling you I got such phlegm from that food, I can hardly talk.”
B) “That roast, that fruit was so juicy, I stuffed myself like a pig.”
C) “Talk about dry meat, did you see Uncle Leo sucking on that piece of brisket for five minutes?”
ANSWER: B: Face it. In this ugly English word with two hard ‘c’s yet, you think “not good.” You would be wrong. You don’t need a stomach pump to digest “juicy,” which is the real meaning of succulent – unless you’re at my house.

3- IRREGARDLESS: ”Irregardless of what you think, I can prove I’m right, as usual.”
MEANING:
A) Irregardless of what YOU think, I’m right as always.”
B) “Irregardless of the fact that you’re usually wrong, in this case, you may have a point.”
C) “Hey, idiot, there’s no such word, so who cares what you think?”
ANSWER: C: Forget the “ir.” "Regardless" already means something that isn't worth regarding (which is why the "less" is there) so adding the "ir" to it means what? We should we not regard it again? Note: It’s often used by big-shots who think they know what they’re talking about. Regardless, tell them!

4- IRONIC: “How ironic that you and I should wind up at the same butcher.”
MEANING:
A) “I never expected you to buy an expensive brisket instead of a skinny chicken.”
B) “Who knew you and I would show up at the same time at Gourmet Kosher when you live in Brooklyn and I live on Long Island?”
C) “I can’t believe we both bought a whole brisket when you used to snatch up the ends.”
ANSWER: A: “Ironic” means the opposite of what you would expect, not “What a coincidence!” Mrs. Fancy Alrightnik would never expect her old neighbor to buy a brisket. (Although I’m not sure chicken is the opposite of brisket … or she expected the opposite … or … you know, do what you want.

5- UNIQUE: “I’ve never seen such a designer bag!”
A) “Your bag is so unique I’m plotzing.”
B) “Those stones and pearls make it totally unique.”
C) “Your cousin the designer made only one – for you? Now that’s a unique gift.”
ANSWER: C: How “unique” can something be? Are there grades of “unique?” If something exists like no other, can it be “very, too, a little” unique? Of course not. Shame on newscasters who modify this perfectly good English word.

Give yourself five points for every correct answer and call me. With a grammatical genius like you, together, we can probably sell a unique e-book. And I promise to buy you a succulent bagel that will add to your pulchritude, regardless of the fact that even though you’re gorgeous, I did all the creative thinking. Is that ironic, or what?

Featured at Aish.com:

About the Author

Quirky, no-nonsense, funny, Marnie – writer, editor, author, lecturer, clinician, and administrator -- is a straight-shooter, who has a distinctive voice and takes on the world in her columns, features, and books. Her advice column was syndicated through Tribune Media Services, and it currently appears in Singular magazine as Singular Solutions. Marnie has written over 20 books/calendars, including the series “A Little Joy, A Little Oy." Her books include Yiddishe Mamas: The Truth About the Jewish Mother and A Little Joy, A Little Oy (pub. AndrewsMcMeel). She is also an award-winning “calendar queen” having written over 20. She has been nominated for both an Emmy and Writers Guild award.Thefullwiki.org has listed Marnie Macauley on their list of top Jewish_American writers, dead or living. (She’s still deciding which.) She was also chosen as a Distinguished Woman in Las Vegas in March of 2014.

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 7

(4)
Miriam,
September 4, 2014 12:06 PM

Yiddish examples are sooooo funny!

Enjoyed every minute of reading!For new ideas: A parenting article. An article on taking care of older parents. On parents making a wedding for child. On sending a girl off to seminary or college...

marnie,
September 5, 2014 4:27 AM

Keeepppp going. You're on a roll

You're a doll Send!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shalom with love, Marnie

(3)
nach shon,
September 3, 2014 11:02 AM

schlock, a little off

It is variant of shlag or slag in German & English,, It means specifically & originally remnants or leftovers,, hence second rate goods or trash, not just used. a lot of schlock is "new" (i.e. unused, just almost worthless). That quilt is made from Schlahk . Also in in Dutch Jewish "slang" it means cutthroat, or pirate, fromliterearlly butcher or Shohet.tho often modified with the h falling out to be slock or sleck. They sent a "shlocker" slaughterer after him.

marnie,
September 3, 2014 9:21 PM

fascinating

Thanks. Very interesting comment.

Shalom with love, Marnie

(2)
Jaya,
September 2, 2014 9:10 PM

Quiz !

I really enjoyed this and found it very witty as well as interesting .

Anonymous,
September 3, 2014 9:22 PM

thanks!

Glad you enjoyed!!

Shalom with love, Marnie

(1)
Lee Merrin,
September 1, 2014 1:20 AM

Marnie M Preserves and IS a National Treasure!

If not for Marnie Winston-Macauley the Yiddish fun of life would disappear like the Dinosaurs. By resurrecting (not a Yiddish word) the sounds and images conjunctive to the lost comedians of the Borscht circuit, M.W-C gifts us the gelt of our current generation. She is linguistically instructive yet never fails to entertain. Traveling through an article by Marnie is like riding a camel side-saddle....you could fall off laughing but it's worth it.Enjoy!

I've been striving to get more into spirituality. But it seems that every time I make some progress, I find myself slipping right back to where I started. I'm getting discouraged and feel like a failure. Can you help?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Spiritual slumps are a natural part of spiritual growth. There is a cycle that people go through when at times they feel closer to God and at times more distant. In the words of the Kabbalists, it is "two steps forward and one step back." So although you feel you are slipping, know that this is a natural process. The main thing is to look at your overall progress (over months or years) and be able to see how far you've come!

This is actually God's ingenious way of motivating us further. The sages compare this to teaching a baby how to walk. When the parent is holding on, the baby shrieks with delight and is under the illusion that he knows how to walk. Yet suddenly, when the parent lets go, the child panics, wobbles and may even fall.

At such times when we feel spiritually "down," that is often because God is letting go, giving us the great gift of independence. In some ways, these are the times when we can actually grow the most. For if we can move ourselves just a little bit forward, we truly acquire a level of sanctity that is ours forever.

Here is a practical tool to help pull you out of the doldrums. The Sefer HaChinuch speaks about a great principle in spiritual growth: "The external awakens the internal." This means that although we may not experience immediate feelings of closeness to God, eventually, by continuing to conduct ourselves in such a manner, this physical behavior will have an impact on our spiritual selves and will help us succeed. (A similar idea is discussed by psychologists who say: "Smile and you will feel happy.")

That is the power of Torah commandments. Even if we may not feel like giving charity or praying at this particular moment, by having a "mitzvah" obligation to do so, we are in a framework to become inspired. At that point we can infuse that act of charity or prayer with all the meaning and lift it can provide. But if we'd wait until being inspired, we might be waiting a very long time.

May the Almighty bless you with the clarity to see your progress, and may you do so with joy.

In 1940, a boatload 1,600 Jewish immigrants fleeing Hitler's ovens was denied entry into the port of Haifa; the British deported them to the island of Mauritius. At the time, the British had acceded to Arab demands and restricted Jewish immigration into Palestine. The urgent plight of European Jewry generated an "illegal" immigration movement, but the British were vigilant in denying entry. Some ships, such as the Struma, sunk and their hundreds of passengers killed.

If you seize too much, you are left with nothing. If you take less, you may retain it (Rosh Hashanah 4b).

Sometimes our appetites are insatiable; more accurately, we act as though they were insatiable. The Midrash states that a person may never be satisfied. "If he has one hundred, he wants two hundred. If he gets two hundred, he wants four hundred" (Koheles Rabbah 1:34). How often have we seen people whose insatiable desire for material wealth resulted in their losing everything, much like the gambler whose constant urge to win results in total loss.

People's bodies are finite, and their actual needs are limited. The endless pursuit for more wealth than they can use is nothing more than an elusive belief that they can live forever (Psalms 49:10).

The one part of us which is indeed infinite is our neshamah (soul), which, being of Divine origin, can crave and achieve infinity and eternity, and such craving is characteristic of spiritual growth.

How strange that we tend to give the body much more than it can possibly handle, and the neshamah so much less than it needs!