The Battle Hymn of Lincoln, Nebraska

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the masters of the MOP;
They have battled with the USAMO and come right out on top;
Now they’re having fun in Lincoln and they’re never gonna stop—
The MOPpers are marching on.

I have seen them in the testing room ’most every other day;
I have seen them saying “Cauchy,” I have seen them saying “Yay,”
I have seen them playing every game it’s possible to play—
The MOPpers are marching on.

(Chorus)

They’ve been lectured by the Gastropod on estimating sums;
They have stoppered up the locks of doors with tape and chewing gum;
They’ve detected launches nuclear and seen the wombat come—
The MOPpers are marching on.

(Chorus)

They bug the Neihardt staff and walk around without their shoes,
And they play guitar and piano just as loudly as they choose,
’Cause they play all kinds of music from the classics to the blues—
The MOPpers are marching on.

(Chorus)

They utilize the hallway as a handy place to chat;
They provoke mathletic sorties with the likes of Mr. Fat;
Their chicken wings they gobble like a pack of hungry rats—
The MOPpers are marching on.

(Chorus)

Whenever they stay out at night they break a bunch of rules;
Whenever they play Mafia they kill the village fool;
And they’re all so very happy ’cause they’re not attending school—
The MOPpers are marching on.

(Chorus)

They while away the hours playing variants of chess,
They juggle and they wander and they leave their rooms a mess,
And the fact is so conspicuous I feel I must confess:
The MOPpers are marching on.

(Chorus)

[last stanza, sung slowly, ballad-like]
They’re the stars of their profession, they’re the masters of their craft,
But all the MOPpers act as if they’re just a little daft;
When I mentioned this to Titu, he just slapped his knee and laughed—
The MOPpers are marching on!