The House of Adam

Suspecting that he's being robbed, the owner of a small-town diner asks his married son, Anthony (John Shaw), to return from college and spy on his only employee, Adam (Jared Cadwell). Within three minutes of screen time, Anthony cuts himself in the kitchen, Adam grinningly sticks the bloody finger in his mouth, the two walk along babbling creeks together, and Adam reveals—as he has to nobody else—that he's gay. Soon after, Anthony cops to both the embezzlement and bi-curiosity, his dying father entrusts his cabin to Adam, and­—one year and a divorce later—Anthony is Adam's lover and a police detective. Then Adam is beaten to death with a Bible by beefcake religious fanatics, enabling Anthony to move into the house—now owned by another couple—and find his beloved's remains. Jorge Ameer's laughably unskilled drama (acting that's the opposite of natural, confused music cues, colors that don't match between each hideously framed shot, production values rivaling late-night Cinemax softcore cheapies, mildly supernatural events) is so poorly written and directed that it could be a fake movie within a John Waters camp classic. How else to explain such a waste of time escaping the LBGT-festival circuit?