From Big Oil to Big Poo, from cold Canadian winters to humid Texas nights - a Plucky Canadian girl gets plunked into the sweltering heart of Tejas.

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Friday, July 01, 2016

Wonderful, Amazing and Really, Really Weird

First, HAPPY CANADA DAY!!! I’ve scrounged around and found a T-shirt with ‘Canada’ on it and I will wear it all day and tell anyone who asks that today is the day we celebrate CANADA!!

Second, happy almost July 4 America, I look forward to watching the remake of Independence Day. And to moving Ellie in her playpen to sleep in our closet at the back of the house because our neighbor sets off fireworks the extravagance of which Las Vegas have never seen.

So, back to me. We took Ellie to the zoo on Sunday as a last fun, easy trip while she was still in diapers. I’m glad we did - we won’t be going anywhere for awhile, at least without 3 changes of clothes per 15 minutes…and lots of wipes. They’ll be no room for our ego’s. (Yes, my daughter DID just pee all over the floor while you were putting ketchup on your hot dog. Yep.)

I didn’t go crazy this first house-bound potty training week. I wasn’t running around just getting out of the house for something to do so I had time to sit down and write an article for a pregnancy magazine. Two, actually. I had time to apply for a blogging job that…PAYS. (duh duh duuuuuh) I had time to start to read a book. (In between running her to the potty crying ‘Almost there, almost there, almost there!!’)

Also, I had a life changing experience while changing her underwear all day. Turns out when I wanted Ellie off the TV and/or IPAD I didn’t have to distract her with LEAVING THE HOUSE or with anything, really. I just had to say…no.

She cried for exactly 23 seconds and then went off to play and was totally fine. HUH. My whole world-view has shattered. Can this magic word work in other area’s of my life?

(Want to watch my four kids and three dogs while I go on a vacation to Maui? No? NO!)

(Want to watch Formula 1 with me now that Ellie is asleep instead of reading that really juicy romance you’ve been waiting the whole day to read? NO!!!)

Ahhh, my whole life has changed.

Also, just for fun, here is the progression of my potty training method:

Day One: There will be no stickers or chocolates or treats. She will want to go to potty because it makes me happy. There will be smiles and high fives and hugs when she does.

Day Two: There will be stickers if there is pee or poo in the potty.

Day Three: There will be one sticker if you get ON the potty and ice cream and chocolate if you pee or poo.

Day Four: There will be chocolate for getting ON the potty and ice cream, chips, a Mazda Miata for every time you pee or poo…please just please oh please pee IN the potty for mommy! You can have anything you want!!! PLEASE!

Ellie says…no.

Seems like she’s ahead of me on the whole ‘I can say no’ secret.

Quick Pregnancy update: I’m getting bigger by the minute (which thrills me. Really. I LOVE getting bigger. And bigger. And BIGGER….) There will be henceforth no photos of me unless it is above the waist and unless it’s one of those freak pictures where you look ‘glowing’ instead of just fat and exhausted.

He or she is really getting their groove on in there which is simultaneously reassuring and…freaky. There is a living being INSIDE ME. MOVING AROUND. Has anyone ever stopped to think about…how weird that is!? Amazing, wonderful, and really weird.

That could be the motto to my life. Amazing, Wonderful, and Really, Really Weird.

Here’s a quote from a wise blue guy:

“Today me will live in the moment. Unless it’s unpleasant in which case me will eat a cookie.” Cookie Monster