Joe Biden Voted Most Popular of Summer 2012 Political Conventions

The final convention ratings are in, and the undisputed star. . . animate Onion muse and pro bono Amtrak publicist Joe Biden. Yes, really! The vice president’s speech attracted more viewers than that of either of the two presidential candidates, as well as the inscrutable feminist/anti-consumerist protest-art of Chair Eastwood and shis partner Clint. Politico reports: “14.7 percent of [total] viewers, or roughly 43.6 million people, tuned in for Biden’s speech. That’s more than the 13.7 percent who watched President Barack Obama’s speech that same night and more than the 12.5 percent who watched Mitt Romney’s speech a week earlier, according to Nielsen.” And a lowly 20 million sat through Paul Ryan’s presentation of morally unconscionable lies.

What could possibly explain this? Anticipatory gaffe-watchers? Or were enough people tricked by the insipid “Joe Biden will switch jobs with Hillary Clinton!!” rumors and wanted to confirm his vice-presidential appointment for themselves? Biden did speak earlier in the evening than Obama and Romney—maybe by the time those two took the stage, viewers had already fallen asleep/collapsed from their “We Built It!”–themed drinking game.