One Reason You're Not Getting Ahead At Work

The word rejection stems from the Latin word, rejectio, meaning
throwing back. Isn't that the perfect way to look at the act of
rejection? Someone is simply tossing the ball back in your court
to take the next steps.

Yet a pervasive fear of rejection is often why entrepreneurs hold
back and take excessive caution. So excessive that it can keep
even the most promising businesses from thriving.

How do you know if you have a fear of rejection?

You make excuses. When opportunity comes
knocking, you are too busy, claim that it's bad timing, or
dismiss it as not a big deal.

You hide your true self. You feel safer if you
take on a phony persona so that the real you isn't rejected.
It's as though you're living behind a mask.

You complain. You feel so frustrated with
yourself that you blame others, complain about your
circumstances, and feel negative emotions toward others because
it seems easier than assuming responsibility for your lack of
assertiveness.

You're a people pleaser. The fear of
confrontation or worse, losing someone, is so disconcerting
that you place the needs and desires of others ahead of your
own. You have a difficult time saying no, even if it's not in your best
interest.

You don't seek opportunity. You may have great
ideas and many opportunities to connect to the right people,
but you put it off until tomorrow. Of course, tomorrow rarely
comes.

Thankfully, fear of rejection isn't permanent. Here's how can you
minimize fear of rejection.

1. Check your thoughts.

Some psychologists say as much as 90 percent of self-talk is
negative. Track your daily thought patterns. Do you criticize
yourself much? Do you have a negative view on the future? Do you
replay old nagging thoughts based on past events?

Use affirmations in the present tense to begin to erase these
patterns and replace your thoughts with more positive, uplifting
beliefs. Soon, you will notice a change in your environment and
things will begin to look up. If affirmations aren't working for
you, try a powerful method called The Emotional Freedom Techniques. I refer to this
as my secret weapon and have helped countless clients shed their
limiting beliefs to achieve happiness and outrageous success.

2. Reprogram your brain.

Do you know when your fear of rejection began? Trace your
feelings back to certain life events and play the memory over and
over in your mind as if it were a movie. Each time you replay
your movie add one of the following features to morph and distort
it.

3. Separate what you do from who you are.

Fear of rejection in business is often present because the
entrepreneur has poured heart and soul into the business and sees
it as an extension of themselves. Your work is not who you are.
You have values, dreams, likes and dislikes. You may be a parent,
sibling, spouse, son or daughter. You are probably a friend and
confidant. Understand what is important to you outside of your
work.

This is key to the success of even our greatest leaders. Who are
you aside from your business?

4. Use your imagination.

Visualizing your ideal outcome, rather than a negative scenario,
is also a powerful form of reprogramming. There is overwhelming
evidence that visualization actually alters the outcome because
your brain does not like the cognitive dissonance between the
current reality and your visualization. After a mere 30 days of
imagining your desires you will begin to recognize opportunities
to bring them to fruition.

5. Throw it back.

Make a list of small risks that will help you move forward one
step at a time. You might consider cold-calling, connecting with
past customers, and going to some networking events. If someone
feels that your product or service isn't right for them, ask why.

Toss the ball back into their court and discover what you could
change, add, or represent differently. Your offerings may not fit
into every area, but with some research you'll better understand
where you fit and who your idea customer really is — a real
confidence boost!