June 26, 2008

SEX AND THE SHOES...

With my five year anniversary approaching next week, I have been racking my brain trying to think of a great gift for T-Ko (preferably one that doesn't involve killing hookers). And considering that I just spent a small fortune on the said XBox 360, I would love to find something that doesn't break the bank and/or lead to future marital problems...

Well, ironically, this morning on the Today Show there was a follow up segment about this couple who wrote a book about having SEX 101 DAYS IN A ROW. Yes, in a row. No excuses. No ifs, ands, or "butts." As I listened to the couple brag to Meredith Vieira about their sex life, I noticed how happy and glow-y they both looked. The wife looked like she had just returned from a tropical vacation and the husband looked like he was ready to do his wife right then and there. Then I noticed the chyrons on the bottom of the screen: "Frequent Sex = Better Sleep".... and "Frequent Sex= Fewer Colds or Flu." Seriously?? I want to sleep better. I want to feel better. I want to look better. Can frequent sex also help lift my tribeswoman tits? I mean, these people were making sex sound like a miracle drug. Count me in.

I was about to pick up the phone to call T-Ko to tell him he was about to get the best anniversary gift of his life, when reality struck and annoyance set in. The couple was talking about making the effort to have sex (despite exhaustion or something like that) and the husband said "... but an hour later, when we were done...." - WHOAH. Hold up. ONE HOUR? Really??? One WHOLE hour? Like from start to finish?? Does that INCLUDE foreplay and the essential trip to the bathroom afterwards? One hour? Really. Good for you. Good. For. You. I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

Then suddenly, my attention shifted. The camera went wide and I noticed Meredith Vieira's SHOES. Ooh. Where do I know those shoes from? The peep toe... the high high heel... the red sole... Ahh, yes. Christian Louboutins... I stared at them for a good 2 minutes yesterday at Nordstrom... Now THOSE would make a great gift. After all, there are SOME things that are better than sex.....