Thursday, 31 January 2013

Today
I finished my serialised novel after four months, 83,000 words, two
notebooks and approximately four packs of post-its. It has been the best
experience I've ever had writing.

Seriously,
you can't write Spray Painted Bananas and feel miserable while
you're doing it. That said, the last chapter nearly killed me. It was
fun, NOT easy!

One
part of my brain feels burnt out and the other is buzzing. I'm
thrilled by all the positive comment pouring in and excited by the
counter which has reached 340,000 hits. But while this is all
wonderful, I have also noticed that people keep asking the same
question: What
are you writing next?

Next?!
I cry. You mean I have to write ANOTHER novel?

Now?

And
yet it's not such a crazy idea really, is it? That's what writers do.

My
husband is particularly pleased that I've completed this novel so
quickly.

'That
means you can write three novels a year!' he said.

Ha.
Ha. Ha. Not happening. Speed isn't everything, my friend. I don't want
to write War and Peace, but I don't want to write comics either.

I'm
pleased though. When I began this challenge I trusted that it would
come together. But I didn't expect to create something I would become
so fond of.

I think it's the most complete novel I have written to
date. And best of all it has a REAL spray painted banana on the front
cover, which would look very fetching on the shelves of Waterstones
or even better, on the screen of my local ODEON.

Alright
I think I'll stop there. I'll need some imagination for the next
book.

Thursday, 24 January 2013

If you'd like to begin a blog but aren't sure where to start, or perhaps you've already started but still have lots of questions, then why not come along to a friendly and informative workshop? I'd love to share with you what I've learned over the last 4 years of blogging!

When?

Saturday 9th February 2013

10am - 2pm

Where?

77 Tower Bridge Rd

SE1 4TW

How much?

£40.00

About me

I'm the author of 'Shop Girl Diaries' (Salt Publishing) which began as a blog and was winner of the CompletelyNovel Author Blog Awards 2010. I've contributed to Publishing Talk's Guide to Blogging, Blogging for Creatives and written about social media for Mslexia magazine and The New Writer.

Emily: I'm also three chapters away
from completing a serialised novel called Spray Painted Bananas.
That's more than 75,000 words worth of free reading material. In fact I'm a
bit gutted I won't be able to pitch it for publication now, I've grown quite attached to it.

Blog: Boo hoo... 'nanas schmanas...

Emily: What more do you want from me?

Blog: Wake me up when you post a blog.

Emily: So, you're not going to read my
book?

Blog: Nope.

Emily: Even though I've been working on it for
4 months... for the love...

Monday, 7 January 2013

I've returned from
America. The immediate consequence of this is that I no longer have a
cute accent. People remarked on it in shops over there, 'Oh my gad, I
just luuuve it!' was the general consensus.

Would I be right in thinking the British accent to an
American is what a French accent is to a Brit?

Incidentally, part of my reason for
going to America, apart from spending Christmas with my husband's
family, was of course to correct my 6 year old nephew's pronunciation
of Water. It's an annual exercise with repeatedly disappointing
results and goes a bit like this:

Me: War-tah

Nephew: WARRA

Me: No, Waaaar-tah.

Nephew: WARRA!

Me: Oh whatever.

America is the place
where I feel most British. Anywhere else I consider myself European with
allegiances to two countries although little inclination to belt out the
national anthem of either, and much less with a hand on my heart.
Although to be fair, the Spanish anthem doesn't have any words, so I
couldn't belt it out even if I wanted to. But in America I do feel
and have fun being British. There I feel a desire to befuddle people
with cockney rhyming slang or echo the well spoken characters of Enid Blyton books.

While secretly I think
American spelling makes a lot of sense, there are some words I can't
take seriously. For instance the word 'restroom'. A temple is a
restroom, a yoga room is a restroom, but as for the lavatory... really? It's childish but I enjoy asking where the loo is, or the
toilet is, because in America they sound like rude words.

America is different.
More so than I expected. I didn't realise that they didn't have
Boxing day over there or that they would look at me blankly when I
asked for mulled wine. I asked for it at a fairground and the woman
shook her head, 'This is a family park, we don't serve malt wine.'
They didn't have any mulled, malt or ordinary wine in the family
restaurant where we ate later. It seems quite common in America to
separate alcohol from family establishments, which is strange,
because when you're with all the family you generally need a proper
drink. As for their no alcohol until 21 policy, don't get me started.
You can be married, have kids, a driving license and own a gun by 18,
but you can't have a drink... How did that happen?

What stands out most of
all about The United States is that everything is bigger. My sister
in law has a fridge that would be sold as a one bedroom flat if it
were in London. The second thing that stands out for me, and I feel
like a country bumpkin for saying this, but everything looks like it
is in the films. Before we headed to Washington DC, we spent a couple
of days in New York.

Arriving in the Big Apple was so exciting to me.
I loved the traffic lights, the taxis and the policemen carrying
their coffee and doughnuts. I loved the blinding lights and the
bagels.

It's funny and wonderful
how the ordinary for one person can be extraordinary for somebody
else. That's the great thing about travel. So here's wishing that the
New Year brings us all more adventures in distant places!