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I’ll be back a little later today with a longer post. It’s so long, in fact, I haven’t finished it yet. In the meantime, even if you’ve listened to it before (it’s almost five years old) please listen to this now. I hope it gives you a lift today. Thank you [...] Keep Reading

He’s been pwacticing for the Thanksgiving service at our small-town church. Press the play button below if you’d like to listen. (Lyrics below, in case you need translating.) As the deer panteth for the water, so my soul longeth after thee You alone are my heart’s desire [...] Keep Reading

I completely missed Britney Spears’ whole rise to fame. In my late twenties at the time of her ascent, I was just a touch too old to be particularly drawn to her music; plus, I was a tad wrapped up in the business of gestating and lactating and otherwise getting used to married life [...] Keep Reading

Marlboro Man made me do it. He did. We were driving home from a DATE last night when he pointed out the sun finally emerging on the horizon after being covered by clouds for the past several days. We both sighed and smiled with contentment, both from the sight of the beautiful orange-red [...] Keep Reading

Did any of you happen to wake up feeling a little…down this morning? A bit sad? A tad blue? If so, baby, you’ve come to the right place. The Pioneer Woman Clinic is open for business today and has just the medicine for your miserable, wretched, depressive soul. [...] Keep Reading

Remember the line in "Beaches" when Bette Midler says, "Oh, enough about me, let’s talk about you. What do you think of me?" That’s pretty much been my mantra as a middle child. Even now, as a grown adult, when my sister, mother, and I are together and [...] Keep Reading

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, folks. That means presents, meals, egg nog, and family get-togethers…and speaking of that, have you ever found yourself at a family gathering that was just a little on the lame side? A tad bit dead? Boring as all get-out? [...] Keep Reading

I don’t think I was a normal child. While all the other girls were wearing satin jackets and going with boys, I was splayed on the floor in front of our TV, watching Gone With the Wind on the Betamax and memorizing every single word. Then I’d sit in front of the mirror and act [...] Keep Reading

I have a sore throat. And a crotchety attitude. So I figured tonight’s as good a time as any to turn on the voice recorder and force some large, complicated words from the mouth of my young child. It turned out to be the only medicine that would make me feel better tonight. What is [...] Keep Reading

We interrupt our regularly scheduled rodeo programming to bring you a very important announcement. Ladies and gentlemen, it appears we may be approaching the end of an era. It’s been weeks since the last Juice Bag installment, and I think we might be seeing the first real signs of [...] Keep Reading

Usually I wait until my entire family leaves the house. Last night, though, I didn’t have that luxury. I’d had a long day, beginning with working cattle at 6 a.m. and including a soccer game, seventy-four loads of laundry, and nine new baby colts to care for, as if I need any [...] Keep Reading

Well, this is it. If the calf nuts and preg-testing photos haven’t already run you off, this one’s sure to. I’m sorry. I’m…sorry. If listening to belches makes you nauseated, please do not click on the following link. Just think of me in happier times. If, [...] Keep Reading

I’m going to hell. In a shameless effort to document my three-year-old boy’s utter lack of progress in the Juice Bag department, I casually removed a Capri Sun from the fridge yesterday, then quietly sipped it at the computer as he played nearby. I knew it would only be a [...] Keep Reading

I’m only posting this because: 1. Today is Sunday, which means blog traffic is relatively low, so if you’re here today it means you must like me enough to accept me despite what you’re about to hear.2. Today is Sunday, which means I’ll be going to church to [...] Keep Reading

…if your spouse took all the children out of the house for two whole hours? Would you catch up on laundry? Refine your to-do list? Read a good book? Organize your bathroom drawers? Paint? Sculpt? Myself, I like to practice my Ethel Merman impersonation. So yesterday morning when my [...] Keep Reading

My three-year-old has no business being anyone’s speech coach (see Juice Bag, Juice Bag, Revisited, and Go Get Some Gum). Still, here he is going over some vocabulary/pronunciation drills with his eager one-year-old brother. The self-appointed professor keeps it pretty simple [...] Keep Reading