Hmm, mixed feelings on RAW, tbh. While I like the idea of this tournament type of thing to the battle royal, I'm not sure about all of the matches on the show leading to it, because it looks like we won't get much development in the other feuds. Still, the matches, namely Cena vs. Masters, look alright, and I still expect a good show.

We see a highlights package from last week, basically highlighting Jack Swagger’s victory at Armageddon, before we see a clip of his victory speech the night after, as he gloats about his title win. Shane McMahon then announces John Cena vs Jack Swagger for the WWE Championship later in the night, so we cut to a shot of the WWE Title gleaming under the arena lights, before the screen fades away for a moment, only to come shooting back with the image of Swagger and Cena throwing punches – Swagger Rolls Up Cena, and the latter gets a hand on the ropes, but the referee doesn’t see it, and Swagger wins the match. Cena sits bemused in the corner, while Swagger raises his title high in tainted victory, and we fade to black.

The Raw entrance video emphatically hits, showing a variety of superstars on the Raw roster, before we cut to the Fargodome, where fireworks inevitably light up the stage, and the camera sweeps across the eager crowd. We cut to ringside, to see the somewhat creepy smiling faces of Michael Cole, and Jerry ‘the King’ Lawler.

King: The fans here in Fargo are excited like you would not believe, Michael – and so am I! We’re gonna see some great action tonight!

Cole: Indeed we are, King. We have plenty of blockbuster qualifiers tonight featuring men like Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Randy Orton, and the man who was ruled to have lost his WWE Title rematch last week, John Cena.

King: Well, Michael, John Cena had his hand on the rope, meaning the winning pinfall shouldn’t have counted! The referee never saw it, which means Jack Swagger is still the WWE Champion.

Cole: Only one man can face the All-American American at Royal Rumble, and that’s why we’re here tonight.

HERE COMES THE MONEEEEEEEEEEEY!

The crowd pops big for the one, the only, Shane McMahon as he comes poppin’ out on to the ramp, grinning a smile the size of... a big smile.

Another big cheer goes up for Shane O’ Mac, who begins to walk down the ramp, pointing out at the crowd, and still smiling.

Cole: The man who arranged all of tonight’s proceedings... Shane McMahon.

King: Shane O’ Mac’s done a great job as Raw GM, Michael! And it’s decisions like making the No. 1 Contender Special tonight which make him great!

While viewers around the country hit their mute buttons to save themselves from King’s ass-kissing, Shane gets in the ring, taking a mic from ringside. He strides into the centre of the ring, and raises a hand, beckoning for the music to subside. It does.

Shane:Do not adjust your sets, this is real! Monday Night Raw, coming to you live for the next... three... hours!

The crowd cheers a bit for this, and Shane nods.

Shane:I’m gonna tell it to ya straight, from General Manager to fans... that I have pulled out all the stops, to make this show memorable!

Another cheer goes up. Shane slides his hand across his jaw.

Shane:I just wanted to come down here to say I hope you all have a great evening, and to refresh everyone's memory, on how it’s gonna go down tonight.

The young McMahon pauses.

Shane:We’re gonna have six qualifying matches tonight – from those, we’ve got seven men, to qualify from those, and go on to a Battle Royal later this evening... where the winner will face Jack Swagger for the WWE Championship at Royal Rumble!

The crowd cheers again, and Shane smiles.

Shane:Yeah! Now, without further ado, let’s get on with our first qualify-

IT’S A SHAME THAT THEY, LOST THEIR HEAD, A CARELESS MAN COULD WIND UP DEAD...

The crowd begins to boo loudly as ‘Celtic Warrior’ appears on the electronic curtain, and Sheamus slowly wanders out, frowning. McMahon turns his head to the ramp, looking displeased, while the Irishman begins to walk down the ramp.

Cole:Well, Sheamus wasn’t here last week after his brutal match with Jamie Noble at Armageddon, but he’s here this week, and he’s making a statement, by interrupting the Raw General Manager right here.

King:Sheamus doesn’t look like he’s in a good mood after losing to Jamie Noble, Michael. But Shane McMahon doesn’t look happy either! This could get heated quickly.

Sheamus gets in the ring, and grabs a mic hurriedly from ringside, before storming straight back towards Shane, who is frowning.

Sheamus:Cut... the music.

The music fades away. Heat fills the void, but Sheamus brushes it aside, and begins to speak.

Sheamus:Shane... I came back t’ Raw this week, expectin’ you t’ welcome me back with wide arms, and give me my chance t’ become No. 1 Contender this evening.

Boos. Shane raises an eyebrow.

Sheamus: But I was looking at the card far tonight’s Special... and I’m not on it, fella. So I’m expectin’ ya to do sometin’ about it. Before things get ugly.

More boos for Sheamus. Shane stays silent for a moment, thinking, then takes a step forward.

Shane: Sheamus. First off... welcome back. I’m so... glad, to have you back with us.

The crowd begins chanting ‘You tapped out! You tapped out!’ at the Celtic Warrior, who bares his teeth in fury. Shane tilts his head, waiting for the excuse.

Sheamus: Ya’see, Jamie Noble is a coward. He couldn’t beat me fair and square at Armageddon... he had t’ use my own chain to bea’ me! And that makes him a coward, Shane. It makes him a coward.

Boos.

Sheamus: I bloodied... Jamie Noble. I came this close...

Sheamus puts up his thumb and index finger, deathly close together.

Sheamus: ...t’ fulfillin’ my promise, of endin’ Jamie Noble’s pat’etic career. I brutalised ‘im. I beat him wit’in an inch of his life, and he won... by luck.

Sheamus frowns as the crowd continues to boo him.

Sheamus: Ya t'ink I’m stupid, Shane? What mortal man wouldn’t tap out, with a chain around his neck, huh? I was doin’ it for me own safety... not because Noble had me beat. All I did... was prove that I am the smarter competi’or. And t’e fact that I don’t have a qualifier t’night... makes me sick to me very stomach, Shane.

Shane frowns back at Sheamus, as the crowd just chants ‘You tapped out!’ at the fuming Irishman.

Sheamus: Jamie Noble is a livin’ fluke. His whole life, he’s been lucky. I do t’ings based on pure skill, Shane. So give me my qualifying match, fella. And do it quick.

Sheamus lets his mic fall to his side, and stares hatefully at Shane, who raises his mic.

Shane: Sheamus, you make a... loud point. I’ll tell you what. You want a chance at the WWE Title? Sure, I’ll give you a Qualifier.

The crowd boos, and Sheamus’ trademark smirk begins to form.

Shane: And since you seem so hell-bent on revenge... how does this sound...

Shane smiles as he wanders a little closer to Sheamus, and raises his mic with a small smile.

Shane: Your opponent tonight? The man who beat you at Armageddon... Jamie Noble!

Shane: And whoever wins will be the eighth man in our Battle Royal, later tonight!

Sheamus continues to smirk. Shane tilts his head.

Shane: That good enough for you... fella?

Sheamus sharply looks at Shane, and ignores the jibe. He points at him.

Sheamus: Oh, it’s good enough far me, Shane.

Sheamus smirks.

Sheamus: And t'night, I’ll kill two birds wit one stone! I’ll show you all how pat’etic Jamie Noble is... and I’ll begin on my road, to claim t’e Dubya, Dubya, Eee, Champ-yan-ship!

The crowd boos Sheamus, who raises a triumphant arm. His music hits, and he storms from the ring, while Shane shakes his head at him from the ring. Raw will go to a break.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

As Raw returns...

IT’S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME...

The crowd goes wild for Triple H!

...TIME TO PLAY THE GAAAAAAAAAAAAME!

The crowd roars again as the Cerebral Assassin appears, hair drenched with cold water, and water bottle in hand. The lone spotlight shines down on him, and the lights around the arena sparkle with red and green. He sprays water from his mouth emphatically, and the bell chimes as he begins to make his way down the ramp.

Roberts: The following contest is a Battle Royal Qualifier, set for one fall! Introducing first, from Greenwich, Connecticut... weighing in at 255 pounds... Triple H!

The crowd cheers for the Game as he storms down the ramp, looking about the arena with his traditional hard glare.

Cole: One of the most successful superstars in WWE history – he’s won eleven World Titles, he’s the Game, he’s Triple H.

King: Triple H lives for the WWE Championship, Michael! And tonight, he has a chance to go to the Rumble, and win the WWE Title once again.

Cole: Now remember, Triple H accidentally got a taste of Sweet Chin Music on Friday – how might that affect his concentration after the mix-up between the two members of DX?

Triple H takes a swig of his water bottle as he reaches ringside, and tosses it into the crowd. He gets up on the apron, spotlight shining down, and looks out at the arena, before spraying water into the air, and roaring out as it falls back down on him. The crowd cheers wildly, and the Game gets in the ring, before getting up on the turnbuckle, and waiting for his opponent...

Chuck Palumbo’s music hits, and the Motor Machine appears on his bike, revving it wildly. He zooms down the ramp on it, and begins to circle the ring, getting a cold glare from Triple H, who means just as much business as Palumbo does.

Roberts: And his opponent... from San Diego, California, weighing in at 280 pounds... the Motor Machine... Chuck Palumbo!

Cole: Well, Chuck Palumbo returned to Raw last week with an emphatic win over Santino Marella, but he’s really going to be tested tonight.

King: Palumbo’s not getting any younger, Michael, but he’s still deadly in the ring as always. Triple H can’t take the Motor Machine lightly, that’s for sure.

Palumbo leaves his bike by the ramp, and gets in the ring, face-to-face with Triple H, who has to crane his neck a little – neither man looks in the mood to play around tonight. The referee separates them, and Palumbo takes off his bandana, tossing it over the ropes. The referee has a look about, then calls for the bell.

Match 1Triple H vs Chuck PalumboBattle Royal Qualifier

These two went at it for a good two minutes, back-and-forth, before Palumbo got the upper hand, and kept Triple H grounded with submissions and strikes. As we join the match-up about four minutes in, the Motor Machine has his boot firmly in the throat of the Game, who is gasping for air, while Palumbo uses the top rope for leverage – the pair are in the corner, with Triple H on the mat. The referee counts to four, and Palumbo moves away. Triple H tries to struggle up, but Palumbo stomps on his back, flooring him again. The Motor Machine drags the Cerebral Assassin into the centre of the ring, and applies a Camel Clutch. Triple H groans in the hold, pain shooting through his neck and back, clearly. His expression is one of real pain, and, with the aid of the audience, he manages to free his arms, and slip out the back of the hold, between Palumbo’s legs! The Game stands up, and Palumbo turns round... into a massive right hand from the King of Kings! Palumbo stumbles back, rocked, before staggering back towards his opponent... and getting another giant right hand! That dazes him further, so Triple H takes the opportunity – he tries to whip Palumbo to the ropes, but the Motor Machine sets his feet, and sends him there himself... but when the Game comes back, Palumbo is bending over, so Triple H improvises, hitting his trademark Jumping Knee Facebuster!

The crowd cheers, and Palumbo stands up straight, the impact jarring straight through him! Triple H takes advantage, laying into the big man with some beastly haymakers, but Palumbo no-sells them, shakes the cobwebs from his eyes, then comes back with a big right hand of his own... but nobody’s home, as the King of Kings ducks under it, and heads for the ropes! Palumbo turns round... and gets caught with the inevitable Flying Knee! The crowd cheers as Palumbo goes down, flattened by the pure force! Triple H covers... 1... 2... NO! Palumbo will kick out, keeping his WWE Title hopes alive! Both men get to their feet following the kickout, but Palumbo is up first, and he decapitates the Game with a monstrous Clothesline! The crowd groans, and Triple H blinks up at the ceiling, just stunned! He struggles back to his feet, and gets hit with a few right hands from the Motor Machine, who then heads to the ropes... and rebounds... DOUBLE A SPINEBUSTER OUT OF NOWHERE! The crowd goes wild, and Triple H gets up, roaring like an animal and flexing his muscles in his traditional style! Triple H shakes the very ring with the beastly Spinebuster to the Motor Machine, who is clutching his back on the mat! The Game pulls him to his feet, and sets him up for the Pedigree... but Palumbo reverses out of it with a Back Body Drop, flinging the Cerebral Assassin high into the air!

Triple H crashes into the mat hard, pain across his face after the impact, and the crowd groans, annoyed that Palumbo reversed the move. The Motor Machine is in the corner, running a hand through his hair, and breathing heavily. Triple H gets up... and Palumbo plants him with a Big Boot! Cover... 1... 2... but Triple H does well to kick out after that one! The crowd cheers, encouraged, and Palumbo beats the mat, before picking the Game up, and setting him up in Side Slam position... we saw this last week against Santino... Palumbo tilts sideways a little, before unleashing his brutal Tilt-a-Whirl Slam, jumping in the air for extra impact! Triple H clearly suffers as he hits the mat, and Palumbo smirks, knowing he must have it, before hooking the leg... 1... 2... 3-NO! Triple H kicks out, and Palumbo is incredulous! The crowd are going wild – what an opener! Palumbo pulls Triple H to his feet, and lifts him into Full Throttle position... the crowd boos loudly... but the Game rolls from Palumbo’s shoulder, and kicks him in the gut on his way down! Palumbo keels over, so Triple H instinctively shoves his head between his legs, and hooks the arms... the crowd roars for the Cerebral Assassin, who goes for it... AND LANDS THE PEDIGREE!!! THE GAME TURNS ON THE STYLE! Hunter rolls Palumbo on to his back, in the centre of the ring, and hooks a leg triumphantly... 1... 2... 3! Triple H is going to the Main Event!

Winner: Triple H

Match Time: 7:32

The Game has his arm raised, his music playing emphatically over the speakers. Palumbo rolls from the ring, clutching his hair with an angry expression. Justin Roberts announces that Triple H is the winner, and the Game gets up on the turnbuckle, roaring out at the cheering crowd. He makes the inevitable title belt motion, for good measure.

The camera quickly skips backstage, where Jack Swagger can be seen watching the action on a backstage TV screen. His WWE Title is draped over his shoulder. The crowd boos the sight of him, before he walks away silently.

Cole: Well, Triple H is going to the Main Event tonight to fight for a chance to face the WWE Champion at Royal Rumble, but there’s the man himself – Jack Swagger.

King: Triple H just beat Chuck Palumbo, Michael! Jack Swagger must have been impressed by that!

We cut elsewhere backstage, where we see Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim and the Divas Champion, Melina. A moderate pop goes up at the sight of the three. All three women are smiling and look pretty happy.

Melina: Gail, it’s so great we’re gonna have our match. I can’t wait.

Gail grins.

Gail Kim: I know. I warn you though, Melina, when the title’s on the line, I’m not gonna go easy on you!

Melina laughs a little, though somewhat half-heartedly. Before either woman can say more, Maryse appears in the shot, and the crowd boos.

Maryse: Zis is torture to me, really, it is.

Boos.

Maryse: Zis is ridiculous! Gail... you are not the best Diva on Raw, and neither are you, Melina. It is me. Maryse! The sexiest of the sexy, no? And you three are... how you say... kidding yourselves if you zink otherwise.

More boos, and all three face Divas frown.

Melina: Gee, Maryse, last time I checked... I beat you at Armageddon for this...

Melina points to her Hannah Montana Divas Championship belt with a small smile. Maryse cuts her off with a harsh laugh.

Maryse: What I can say... everyone gets lucky sometimes, I suppose.

Boos. Melina narrows her eyes in disgust.

Maryse: Trust me, Melina. If we face off one more time, I will squash you like a little... bug. And I will claim my Divas Title. Last week, she cost me my rematch...

Maryse gestures towards Kelly Kelly, who frowns.

Maryse: So it’s your fault, no? And if you hadn’t been zere, I would have beaten your friend zere, and got my rematch – because ladies... a zecond bite at ze cherry is all I need.

More boos. Maryse points to Gail.

Maryse: So why don’t you give me a match, and we shall see who really deserves to have a shot at the title, hm?

Melina cuts in angrily.

Melina: Gail has nothing to prove to you, Maryse, and neither do I. You don’t deserve another shot – Gail won the match last week, she’s the one getting the title match. You don’t like it? Girl, I couldn’t care less.

Maryse: Oh... I see how it is here. You are afraid of me, no? Well, zat’s fine... I have a way of getting what I want, you see. Just wait, Melina. Just... wait.

And with that, Maryse turns and leaves. All three of the other Divas watch her leave, then turn to face each other. Melina shakes her head in disdain, and Raw fades away to a break.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

As Raw returns, that bell will chime again...

IT’S A NEW DAAAAAAAAAAAY!

The crowd boos for Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase, who wander out with their title belts, smirking. Rhodes is walking backwards as usual, but he turns around, revealing that he is looking just as cocky as DiBiase.

Roberts: The following is a Battle Royal Qualifier, set for one fall! Introducing first, at a combined weight of 458 pounds... they are the WWE Unified Tag Team Champions... Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase!

The crowd boos again, and the pair strut down the ramp, and get in the ring.

Cole: These two young superstars, the Unified Tag Team Champions, are possibly two of the cockiest young men I’ve seen in a long time, and their egos were only boosted by what went down last week.

King: Well yeah, Michael. Randy Orton completely forgave them for shutting the cage door in his face at Armageddon – can you imagine how highly Rhodes and DiBiase think of themselves right now because of that!

Rhodes collects a couple of mics from ringside, and tosses one to DiBiase, who catches it with ease. Both men adjust their titles a little (Rhodes’ are crossed over around his neck in an ‘X’ shape) before Rhodes raises his mic, smirking.

Rhodes: Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase are officially the hottest thing on Raw right now.

Boos immediately come from the crowd.

Rhodes: Not only... are we the WWE Unified Tag Team Champions, but we are also the fastest up-and-coming stars this business has to offer.

More boos. DiBiase brings up his mic:

DiBiase: That’s right, Cody. Last week, you people were all hoping for Randy Orton to RKO us. You hoped he would get his ‘revenge’. But that’s not true.

DiBiase pauses to smirk.

DiBiase: You think Randy is stupid? No... Randy Orton is smarter than us all. Sorry... than you all.

Boos.

DiBiase: He recognised what we’re capable of. He didn’t see what we did at Armageddon as betrayal... he saw it as greatness, breaking through! Which is exactly what it was!

More boos. Rhodes smiles.

Rhodes: Randy Orton realised that we’re more than protégés... we’re special. We’re the future of this business, and Randy knew that we bring something to the table that he just can’t pass up on.

Rhodes smirks again.

Rhodes: The opportunity to mentor... us.

Boos.

Rhodes: Did anyone catch SmackDown on Friday? When that rag-tag team of Yoshi Tatsu and Greg Helms won the chance to face... us?

The crowd cheers. DiBiase raises his mic.

DiBiase: Tatsu and Helms have been partners for... five weeks? What, are you kidding me? We’ve been together for a year and a half. We are one of those most experienced teams on Raw, and they’ve teamed together... twice. You think they have a chance of beating us?

The younger part of the crowd cries ‘Yes!’

DiBiase: Well you’re wrong, aren’t you? Let me tell you what’s going to happen. Tonight, either Cody or I will win the Battle Royal.

Boos.

DiBiase: Then we’ll defend our titles... successfully, and then we’re gonna go to Royal Rumble. Whoever wins tonight? They’ll win the WWE Title. And whoever didn’t? They’ll win the Royal Rumble. And then we’ll headline the Grand-daddy of ‘Em All, Wrestlemania, together!

Rhodes and DiBiase look at each other and smirk, before they toss their mics to ringside, and do a low high-five, showing how much they’re on the same page.

The crowd cheers wildly for the World’s Strongest Tag Team, who walk out on to the stage, smiling. Legacy scowl from the ring.

Roberts: And their opponents... at a combined weight of 661 pounds... the team of Montel Vontavious Porter and the World’s Strongest Man, Mark Henry... the World’s Strongest Tag Team!

The crowd cheers for the pairing, who walk down the ramp, still grinning out at the fans. MVP slaps the ramp floor, then springs upwards into his usual pose, while Henry flexes his muscles, in the pair’s usual fashion.

Cole: MVP qualified for the Royal Rumble match last week with a win over Chavo Guerrero, but if he can win the Battle Royal tonight, he’ll have himself a shot at Jack Swagger at the Rumble instead.

King: MVP and Mark Henry couldn’t win on Friday in Tag Team Turmoil, but beating the Champions tonight might go a long way in proving that they really can win the Tag Team Titles, Michael.

Henry and MVP roll into the ring, and point at Legacy, who nonchalantly shrug at each other, clearly not fazed. MVP removes his numerous chains, and tosses them to ringside. He touches knuckles with Henry, who is on the apron, before turning to face Cody Rhodes, who will start for Legacy.

We join the match about four minutes in, with MVP and Ted DiBiase both floored after a collision in the middle of the ring. Both men stir, and try to crawl towards their corners – the Million Dollar Prince slaps Rhodes’ hand, and he comes in, grabbing MVP’s ankle before he can tag in the World’s Strongest Man, who slams the turnbuckle in frustration as Rhodes pulls MVP in the middle of the ring, and starts pummelling the Ballin’ Superstar with nasty right hands. The referee tells Rhodes to stop, and it takes a four count before he complies. Rhodes gets up, before heading to the ropes, and coming back with a big Knee Drop to Porter’s head! The crowd groans with the impact, and Rhodes hooks a leg... 1... 2... but MVP kicks out! Rhodes frowns, and both men get up, though Rhodes is up slightly faster, and as Porter takes a step forward, Rhodes catches him with a spectacular Dropkick! Rhodes will hook the leg... 1... 2... kickout from MVP! Rhodes yells out a little, before picking MVP up, and dragging him to his corner – DiBiase slaps his partner’s back, and comes in, booting MVP in the gut as he does.

Porter keels over from the shot, gasping for air, and DiBiase measures him... he grabs Porter by the neck, and twists into a smooth Neckbreaker! MVP grabs his neck in pain on impact, and DiBiase rolls him into the cover... 1... 2... but MVP kicks out again! DiBiase looks at Rhodes with a look of frustration, and Rhodes just mouths ‘I don’t know’. DiBiase looks down at MVP... and lands an Elbow Drop! Rhodes claps him on the outside, and the crowd boos as DiBiase gets up, before landing another Elbow Drop... and a third! The crowd just boos DiBiase, who smirks, and drops a fourth elbow... then a fifth... he stands again, looking down with a grin... and drops the Elbow Drop to MVP’s abdomen for a sixth time! DiBiase gets back to his feet, before pulling MVP back up, too, and dropping him with a basic Backbreaker. DiBiase will hook the leg, confident of victory... 1... 2... 3-NO! MVP kicks out with everything he has, but by god, he needs a tag! DiBiase picks MVP back to his feet, frustrated, and whips him to the ropes... and follows up, looking for his traditional Running Clothesline move, but as MVP turns round, and DiBiase swings the arm, the Ballin’ Superstar ducks, and cracks him with a giant Big Boot! Both men are down now, with MVP exhausted, and the crowd cheer wildly, while Mark Henry crazily beckons for the tag to be made! MVP crawls across the ring... AND GETS THE HOT TAG TO THE WORLD’S STRONGEST MAN!

Rhodes gets the tag-in across the ring, but Henry comes in like an absolute freight train, and as the pair meet in the middle, there can only be one outcome – Henry floors Rhodes with a beastly Running Shoulder Block! Rhodes falls to the mat, stunned, but he’s soon back up, as is traditional in these situations... and Henry blasts him with a monstrous Clothesline! Rhodes stays down for a bit longer this time, giving Henry time to grin out at the crowd, which gets a massive cheer, surprisingly. Rhodes gets up, and charges at the big man... but Henry scoops him up into position for the World’s Strongest Slam! Henry’s about to pull the trigger, but suddenly... DIBIASE STARTS TRYING TO GET IN THE RING! The crowd boos, and the referee turns his back on the action, admonishing DiBiase – and Rhodes slips out of the hold while Henry is distracted, leading to the inevitable... LOW BLOW FROM RHODES TO HENRY! The crowd boos, and DiBiase gets back on to the apron, smirking, while Henry goes down, clutching his groin in agony. MVP puts his hands up in disgust, and Rhodes grabs Henry from the mat, before putting him in an inverted facelock... AND HE CONNECTS WITH CROSS RHODES, KNOCKING THE BIG MAN OUT COLD! Rhodes throws himself over Henry’s body, barely managing to hook one of the big man’s tree trunk-like legs, and the referee counts... 1... 2... 3! MVP gets in the ring, still exhausted, but he’s way too late! Legacy have stolen the win here tonight!

Winners: Legacy

Match Time: 7:36

MVP tends to Henry, who slowly comes about, dazed, while Legacy have their arms raised with smirks on their faces. They are handed their titles, and they raise them high.

Cole: Legacy win with dubious tactics here tonight.

King: I guess those two will be in our Battle Royal later tonight, Michael. Boy, that was underhanded from Cody Rhodes. Is that the only way to bring down Mark Henry? He’s pretty massive, Michael.

Cole: Well, underhanded or not, Legacy have beaten the World’s Strongest Tag Team here tonight, and they’ll be heading off to the Main Event tonight, to fight for a chance at the WWE Title at Royal Rumble.

The camera cuts backstage, where we see Todd Grisham.

Grisham: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome... Evan Bourne!

The crowd pops big for Bourne, who steps into the shot, a massive smile on his face.

Grisham: Evan, in four weeks’ time at Royal Rumble, you will face the Miz for his United States Championship. Can you tell me – just how are you feeling about that title bout?

Bourne grins.

Bourne: Todd, the Miz didn’t get where he is today by luck. Well, some of it was by luck.

The crowd cheers. Bourne thinks for a moment.

Bourne: And some of it was by cheating. But never mind. What I’m tryin’ to say is, the Miz isn’t a pushover. He’s a loudmouth, he’s cocky, his head’s so far up his own ass you can’t really see it, but he’s not a pushover.

The crowd cheers again, and Bourne smiles.

Bourne: But I’m feelin’ good, Todd. Real good. Cause I know I’ve got what it takes to become United States Champion.

Another cheer goes up.

Bourne: I’ve been workin’ hard day in, day out here on Raw these past few weeks, and I’ve earned my shot. And I plan to take it. It’s for me to step up, and claim the United States Title, for the very first time.

The crowd cheers again.

Bourne: And I just can’t wait for-

Before Bourne can say more, a blond-haired figure steps unceremoniously into the shot... it’s Larry Sweeney, of course. A mixed reaction goes up at the sight of him. Sweet ‘n’ Sour is dressed in his traditional purple ring gear, with the lilac and dark purple feather boas draped around his neck. He’s wearing big, black sunglasses... and munching on fruit kebabs?

Sweeney: Hey Effan!

Sweeney swallows his mouthful.

Sweeney: Sorry about that, my man. Evan, how’s it goin’, bud?

Bourne rolls his eyes a little.

Bourne: Um... Larry, we’re kind of in an interview here...

Sweeney tosses his fruit kebabs out of the shot without even looking at them, then raises his sunglasses, revealing his eyes, which have just lit up. He puts the sunglasses back on to his eyes, and points to Bourne.

Sweeney: No worries, man. I got this.

Sweeney pauses for a second, then snatches the mic from Grisham’s hand. He raises it to his mouth with a tight, encompassing grip around the whole mic, while Bourne looks on in surprise in the background.

Sweeney: So Miz? If you’re listening... see if you can get it into that massive head of yours, that your days with the United States Title are numbered! My man Evan is gonna wipe the floor with ya, and you can put money on that one!

The crowd gives a mixed reaction at Sweeney’s outlandish antics.

Sweeney: If Sweet ‘n’ Sour says it, you can consider it law, baby! I can guarantee you all, that at Royal Rumble... Evan Bourne’s gonna be your new United States Champion!

Sweeney: You see this face? This is the face of success! The face of your new United States Champion, baby! Ain’t that right, Evan? Ain’t it right?

Sweeney shoves the mic straight towards Bourne, who looks to the side, and exhales in modest surprise. He opens his mouth, but Sweeney yanks the mic straight back to himself.

Sweeney: Greatness, people. Sweet ‘n’ Sour knows it when he sees it. And you can bank on a win for my man Evan at Royal Rumble. Let’s go, man. Fargo has a kickin’ party scene.

Bourne frowns, but before he can say anything, Sweeney tugs him out of shot. The camera floats over to Todd Grisham, who is just as stunned as everybody else. Raw goes to a break.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

As Raw returns, the bell chimes, and Primo’s music starts up to a nothing reaction. The man himself comes out, smiling out at the fans, who give him pretty much nothing in return. Do I see a couple of people getting up to go buy snacks? I knew they employed Primo for a reason.

Roberts: The following is a Battle Royal Qualifier, set for one fall! Introducing first, from San Juan, Puerto Rico, weighing in at 218 pounds... Primo Colon!

Cole: Strong words from Larry Sweeney before the break, but for the moment, let’s concentrate on the match we’re about to see – Primo Colon, taking on Kofi Kingston, for a place in that crucial Battle Royal later on tonight.

King: Primo could book himself a match with Jack Swagger at Royal Rumble if he has a good night tonight, Michael.

Primo jogs down the ramp, and gets in the ring. He gets up on a turnbuckle and plays to the crowd. A small cheer is just audible by some people in the far corner of the arena, though it’s plausible they’re trying to be ironic. Primo hopes down, and turns to the ramp.

SOS... I HEAR DEM SHOUTIN’! SOS... I HEAR DEM CRYIN’!

The crowd cheers wildly as the stage turns green, and Kofi Kingston walks out, looking confident. His hair is in a neat, dreadlocked ponytail, and he looks hardened from his ordeal with Randy Orton at Armageddon.

Roberts: And his opponent... from Ghana, West Africa, weighing in at 221 pounds... Kofi Kingston!

Kofi unleashes his three hand slaps, which elicits three bursts of green and yellow pyro on the stage, before he begins to jog down the ramp, his eyes telling of the new man he is after what he went through in the steel cage.

Cole: When Kofi Kingston arrived from ECW a year and half ago, no-one could have imagined the success he’d have on Monday Night Raw. He won the Intercontinental Title within a week of joining the Red Brand, and has also captured the World Tag Team Championships, as well as the United States Championship since. But none of that compares to the victory Kofi Kingston achieved last Sunday.

King: Kofi defeated Randy Orton inside a steel cage in one of the most brutal matches I’ve ever seen... he hit a Boom Drop from the top of the cage! And now, Kofi’s a totally new man! Being inside a steel cage with Randy Orton for nearly 20 minutes changes you, Michael.

Kingston slides under the bottom rope, then stands up in the ring. He gets up on a turnbuckle, and hits a couple of ‘Boom’ slaps for the crowd – the camera shows a middle-aged man joining in with Kofi in the audience. Kofi hops down and walks into the middle of the ring – Primo greets him with a smile, and the pair shake hands, a gesture which gets a solid cheer from the crowd, who then start to chant Kofi’s name. The bell chimes, and both men raise their fists, ready to fight.

Match 3Primo Colon vs Kofi KingstonBattle Royal Qualifier

After about two minutes of entertaining, high-flying action, we’ll join the contest – the pair are on the top turnbuckle. Primo is gearing up for a Superplex of sorts, but Kofi hits him with a couple of elbows, and releases himself from the dangerous position. With a few hard blows with his right hand, Primo is staggered, and Kofi raises a boot, placing on the chest of the Puerto Rican... and shoving him from the top turnbuckle! The crowd cheers, and Primo gets back up, only for Kofi to stun him with a big Missile Dropkick, taking him down! The Ghanaian will cover... 1... 2... kickout from Primo! Both men roll back up to their feet, and Kofi swings with his weird hand-strike thing, but Primo ducks under it, before leaping up, and shows the Ghanaian some Puerto Rican style with a beautiful Hurricanrana! Kofi gets flung across the ring, but he gets back up... so Primo gives him a sharp kick, and heads to the ropes – he comes back, but Kofi rolls with the momentum, and flings Primo over the top rope... but Primo grabs the rope, and lands safely on the apron! Kofi looked away as he flung Primo over, so he turns round, and Primo springboards... into the Springboard Crossbody to Kingston! Primo rolls through into a cover, hooking both legs... 1... 2... but Kofi forces Primo off him!

The crowd cheers, and both men get up, warily watching each other. Primo launches in with a Low-Angle Dropkick, but Kofi jumps over it, and as soon as Primo gets back up, the Ghanaian flips him on to his back with a lovely Hip Toss! Primo’s up again... so Kofi hits another Hip Toss, this time keeping the Puerto Rican down! Kofi looks out at the crowd, and slowly grins... he jogs around the ring, getting the crowd on his side... before heading to the ropes, and unleashing the theatrics... “BOOM, BOOM”... Boom Drop connects from the Ghanaian, who is feeling it right now, and the fans love it! Kofi rolls smoothly back up to his feet, and starts slapping his hands together slowly, the crowd crying ‘Boom!’ with every hit, and Primo slowly makes his way to his feet... Kofi pulls the trigger with Trouble in Paradise, but Primo ducks under the move! The crowd groans, but Kofi lands on his feet, before grabbing Primo, and sending him to the turnbuckle with the Irish Whip! He follows up, and leaps athletically on to Primo’s neck, before nailing his ten emphatic punches, the crowd counting along!

Kofi rolls off Primo’s shoulders... and sends the Puerto Rican flying into the centre of the ring with the Monkey Flip! The crowd cheers wildly, and Primo lets the momentum carry him to his feet, but he’s seriously dazed... and Kofi grabs him, looking for the SOS... but Primo elbows him in the back of the head, and escapes the hold! The Puerto Rican then grabs Kofi, and fires the surprise Roll Up... 1... 2... NO! Kickout from Kingston! The crowd groans at how close that was, and both men charge to their feet, with Primo immediately flinging himself up with a rash Dropkick... but Kofi grabs his legs, and pushes him out of the air! Primo crashes and burns on the mat, giving Kofi a chance to breathe... the Puerto Rican gets up – AND GETS A TASTE OF THE TROUBLE – IN – PARADISE!!! The crowd goes wild, and Kofi Kingston hooks a leg... 1... 2... 3!

Winner: Kofi Kingston

Match Time: 4:46

Kingston’s music plays, and the crowd cheers wildly for the Ghanaian! Kingston gets up on a turnbuckle to slap his hands together a bit, getting a really strong reaction from the crowd.

Cole: Kofi Kingston is going places on Raw – he beat Randy Orton at Armageddon, and now he’s gonna be fighting for a chance to face Jack Swagger for the WWE Title at Royal Rumble.

As Kofi hops off the turnbuckle, the shot fades to black, and Raw goes to a break.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

---

CM Punk standing on the turnbuckle.

CM Punk: I will be the one.

Rey Mysterio hitting the 619.

Mysterio: I will be the one.

Triple H roaring out at the crowd.

Triple H: I will be the one.

Quick shots of various superstars:

Shawn Michaels: I...

Randy Orton: I...

John Morrison: I...

The Miz: I...

Kofi Kingston: I...

‘ROYAL RUMBLE’ crashes on to the screen...

Narrator: Who will be... THE ONE?

WWE Royal RumbleLocation: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New YorkDate: January 31st, 2010Tagline: Who Will Be The One?Event Theme Song: ‘Hero’ by Skillet

---

We head straight to the announce table. Both Michael Cole and Jerry ‘the King’ Lawler are smiling straight at us.

Cole: We are four weeks away from the Royal Rumble pay-per-view – one of the ‘Big Four’ pay-per-views on the WWE calendar, and featuring the prestigious, 30-Man Royal Rumble match, where the winner will win the right to write their name down in history.

King: No kidding, Michael. The winner of the Rumble gets to headline the Grandaddy of ‘Em All... Wrestlemania 26!

OOH, CHAVO...

The crowd boos as Chavo Guerrero appears on the ramp, frowning a little. He throws both arms into the air dramatically, then starts to strut down the ramp, the bell chiming sweetly in the background.

Roberts: The following is a Battle Royal Qualifier, set for one fall! Introducing first, from El Paso, Texas, weighing in at 215 pounds... the Mexican Warrior... Chaaavo... Guerreeeeero!

Cole: The Mexican Warrior couldn’t qualify for the Royal Rumble match last week against Kofi Kingston, but tonight, he can earn himself a WWE Title shot, something that he would no doubt claim he deserves.

King: Chavo comes from the legendary Guerrero family, Michael! He wants that title shot to live up to his family name!

Chavo continues down the ramp, and gets in the ring. He grabs a mic from ringside, and wanders into the centre of the ring. His music dies down.

Chavo: Tonight is the No. 1 Contender Special... tonight’s a big night, no doubt about it.

The crowd cheers a little. Chavo scowls.

Chavo: But tonight’s all about me, people!

The boos flood in.

Chavo: Now, I might have been cheated out of a place in the Royal Rumble last week...

Ha, fuck off.

Chavo: ...but tonight, I’m gonna prove to you all just why Chavo Guerrero is the name of the next WWE Champion, homes. Because the Guerrero family is legendary, people! And I’m gonna show you all... that I’m the next famous Guerrero, who’s going straight to the top on Raw. I’m gonna fulfil the Guerrero legacy, the legacy of my forefathers!

More boos.

Chavo:So, I don’t care that my opponent tonight is Shawn Michaels...

Big pop for the Heartbreak Kid!

Chavo: Ha, you people like him? He kicked his own partner in the face on SmackDown!

Boos, more for Chavo’s ignorance than anything.

Chavo: Shawn Michaels is just a stepping stone for-

I THINK I’M CUTE... I KNOW I’M SEXY!!!

THE FARGODOME EXPLODES FOR THE HEARTBREAK KID! Chavo turns to the ramp in shock, and Michaels comes out, clearly not in the mood to be belittled by Guerrero. The Showstopper doesn’t do his usual praying on the ramp, he just speeds down it, eager to kick some ass. Chavo tosses his poncho and bandana to the side, and snarls at Michaels, who points to him with a look of annoyance.

Roberts: And his opponent... from San Antonio, Texas, weighing in at 225 pounds... the Heartbreak Kid... Shawn Michaels!

Cole: The Showstopper, the Icon, the Heartbreak Kid, Mr Wrestlemania... one of the greats... Shawn Michaels.

King: Shawn accidentally hit Triple H with Sweet Chin Music on Friday, but tonight, he’s got to put it out of his mind, and focus on tackling the challenge of Chavo Guerrero.

HBK rolls under the bottom rope, and stands, looking at Chavo with a cold stare. He flings his hat and poncho into the crowd (a plethora of eager hands extend to grab both items of clothing), before he tests the ropes a little, and nods at the referee to say he’s ready. The man in the middle checks both men, and kicks things off.

Match 4Chavo Guerrero vs Shawn MichaelsBattle Royal Qualifier

Ok, we all know these guys are fantastic wrestlers, so they’re gonna have a long one here, to please us all. We’ll join the action at about seven minutes, with Chavo in control, kicking Michaels repeatedly in the corner, forcing him to a seated position. The referee forces Chavo away, but the Mexican Warrior isn’t done, and he charges in, nailing the Heartbreak Kid in the face with a brutal Running Hip Attack in the corner! The crowd groans with the nasty impact, and Michaels sells it beautifully, collapsing out of the corner, pain across his face. Chavo grabs his legs, and drags him into the centre of the ring... the lateral press follows... 1... 2... Michaels kicks out! The Heartbreak Kid forces himself to his feet, but Chavo is right there, looking frustrated, and he sends the Showstopper for a ride... with a stunning German Suplex! Michaels clatters off the mat brutally, and the force sends him hurtling across the ring! The camera shows Michaels’ battered face, but he’s not done, and he pulls himself to his feet with the ropes, looking at Chavo with a determined look. He moves towards Chavo, raising his fists weakly, and the Mexican Warrior just slams him with a European Uppercut, causing him to reel back! Chavo sends him to the ropes, and when he comes back, the Mexican Warrior sends him high, high into the air with a sensational Back Body Drop... AND MICHAELS COMES CRASHING DOWN LIKE A TRAIN WRECK! Chavo smirks, and hooks a leg... 1... 2... 3-NO! MICHAELS KICKS OUT!

Chavo drops to all fours by Michaels, stunned by the Heartbreak Kid’s tenacity. Chavo gives his opponent a couple of light slaps around the face, taunting him to get up, and when he doesn’t, he leaps up, and heads for the ropes... and lands a stunning Leg Drop across the throat of the Icon! Chavo covers again... 1... 2... but Michaels kicks out again! The Mexican Warrior screams out in anger, and pulls Michaels to his feet, berating him wildly... and he gives HBK a huge slap round the face! The crowd lets out a giant ‘OHHH!’... and Michaels comes to life, charging back towards Guerrero, and flooring him with his Flying Forearm Smash! The crowd cheers, but both men are down... surely not for long, though... BECAUSE MICHAELS KIPS UP, SENDING THE CROWD WILD! The Heartbreak Kid lets out a roar of adrenaline, the love he has for the business pumping through his veins, before he heads up top... and turns on the style with the ELBOW DROP, RIGHT TO THE HEART OF CHAVO! The crowd roars for the Heartbreak Kid, who might just have physically broken Chavo’s heart right there! Michaels heads for the corner... AND HE STARTS TO TUNE UP THE BAND!

1... 2... 3... Chavo stirs... 4... 5... and Chavo gets up! Michaels pulls the trigger with Sweet Chin Music, but Chavo ruins everyone’s day by ducking underneath it! The crowd boos, and Michaels is suddenly yanked to the mat with the surprise School Boy! 1... 2... MICHAELS ISN’T HAVING IT, THOUGH! HE KICKS OUT! Chavo gets up, shocked, and Michaels joins him at that vertical base, fuming! Chavo gulps, and heads out of the ring, under the bottom rope... but Michaels is hot on his heels! HBK slams Chavo’s head straight into the apron, and the Mexican Warrior groans, shaken by the impact! Michaels pushes him into the ring, and follows him – Chavo is up in the ring, and as soon as Michaels stands, the Mexican Warrior boots him in the gut, before heading to the ropes... rebounding... and getting an Inverted Atomic Drop when he returns! The crowd cheers, and Michaels goes for a Suplex... only for Chavo to reverse it into a Suplex of his own... and he rolls! The crowd boos, and Chavo lines it up again... and nails the second Suplex! Chavo inevitably rolls, and... lands the third of the Three Amigos to Shawn Michaels! Chavo heads up top... and points to the sky! The crowd boos like hell, and Chavo launches... NOBODY’S HOME! FROG SPLASH HITS THE MAT FOR CHAVO GUERRERO!

Chavo spasms in agony as he hits the mat! The replays show that Michaels rolled out the way as Chavo took to the air, and the Mexican Warrior just crashes into the mat, nearly breaking himself in half in the process! Michaels struggles up to his feet, breathing heavily, and Chavo rolls to his knees, clutching his ribs, and sweating profoundly from his forehead. He looks across at Michaels, anger in his eyes – Michaels moves towards him, and the Mexican Warrior struggles to his feet... so HBK lashes out with a massive Knife Edge Chop, staggering Chavo, and eliciting a big ‘WOOOO’ from the crowd. Michaels repeats the feat, before sending Chavo to the ropes... but Chavo comes back, and nails Michaels with a Dropkick, flooring him! Michaels goes down, and Chavo heads up top again... he points to the sky... but Michaels scrambles to his feet, and leaps on to the turnbuckle, rocking Chavo with right hands! The crowd roars, and Chavo can only shield himself! Michaels tries to hook the arm for a Superplex, but Chavo lashes out with a big right hand, before pushing HBK from the turnbuckle! The crowd boos, but Michaels is on his feet, so Chavo soars off, looking to take his adversary by surprise... AND HE GETS SPANKED WITH SWEET CHIN MUSIC IN MID-AIR!!! THE CROWD EXPLODES FOR THE INSANE SPOT, AND BOTH MEN GO DOWN, COMPLETELY STUNNED! Suddenly, Michaels comes to life, and he throws himself exhaustedly over the Mexican Warrior... the referee drops to make the count... 1... 2... 3! Michaels takes it!

Winner: Shawn Michaels

Match Time: 11:43

After a gruelling contest, Shawn Michaels has beaten Chavo Guerrero, and he’s going to the Main Event! The referee raises the arm of the exhausted Showstopper, who breaks out a little smile. The crowd cheers him crazily, and ‘HBK! HBK!’ chants break out. The man himself gives the crowd a wave.

Cole: What a finish! Shawn Michaels beats Chavo Guerrero to book himself a place in the Main Event here tonight, but boy, Chavo made it hard for him!

King: He sure did, Michael. He nearly lived up to his word to ‘fulfil the Guerrero legacy’!

As Michaels leaves, the camera shows Chavo, who looks really frustrated. We then cut backstage, where we see Raw’s resident hunk, Todd Grisham.

A giant cheer goes up as the camera reveals Noble, who is looking fairly troubled.

Grisham: Jamie, tonight you face the man you defeated at Armageddon, the man who nearly ended your career for good a few weeks back... you’ve been on an emotional ride. How are you feeling about your match tonight?

Noble looks at Grisham, his eyes telling a massive emotional story.

Noble: Did I not do enough?

Noble pauses, looking confused.

Noble: At Armageddon... I went through hell, Todd. And I came out... the victor. I won. I beat Sheamus.

A big cheer goes up.

Noble: And Todd, I went through everything. I took chair shots, got hit with trash cans... I bled out my soul on to the mat. I did everything I could, and it damn paid off.

Noble smiles a little.

Noble: Everything that Sheamus gave to me, I paid him back. I didn’t just go to the limit. I went past it. And further. There’s a line a man only crosses at the most desperate of times... and I crossed it, over and over. Until I was a shadow of myself. Until I could dig down so deep, I could pull out something that the WWE has never seen before. Jamie Noble, looking out for himself. Taking out the trash. Getting the revenge he deserves, from when Sheamus tried to ruin me forever.

The crowd cheers for the Pit Bull. Noble’s eyes are on fire.

Noble: And when I did that... when I beat Sheamus into the ground like he deserved... that was my defining moment in the rise of the new Jamie Noble, Todd. The man who doesn’t get trodden on. The man who doesn’t get treated like an afterthought. The man who earns the respect he gets.

A small cheer goes up, and Noble raises a hardy fist.

Noble: I’m not a stepping stone for the guys in the back anymore. People don’t just get to walk over me. I’ve been livin’ that lifestyle for years. But now, I take a stand.

Another small cheer goes up.

Noble: If Armageddon wasn’t good enough for Sheamus... maybe tonight will be. Tonight, I’m fighting for the little guys. The underdogs. Tonight, I’ll prove once again... one more time... that you’re looking at the brand new Pit Bull, Jamie Noble.

Noble nods at his friend, Grisham, then storms from the shot, eager for action. Raw goes to a break.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

---

And now, it’s time for SMACKDOWN REBOUND!!!......

We see Batista storming to the ring, lugging a lamppost over his shoulder. We suddenly cut to the Animal in the ring, a mic in his hand. The lamppost rests on the mat.

Batista: I suppose I have a lot to explain to all of you...

More boos. The Animal begins to pace.

Batista: ...like, why did I bring a lamppost to the ring? Why did I turn up at Armageddon on Sunday? Why did I inflict such... devastation on my Royal Rumble opponents, costing them their Tag Team Titles in the process?

Boos.

Batista:Well, why don’t I ask you guys a couple questions, huh? How about... why am I not World Heavyweight Champion right now? What about, why does the Champion not see me as a threat, just because of his size? Or how about, why the HELL... are we going to having our match... on the very streets of New York? HUH?

The crowd boos some more, then begins the usual ‘You suck!’ chant.

Batista: Why don’t I just take it one... step... at a time. So you people... can understand me.

Batista pauses, and stops pacing.

Batista: I AM the most dominant superstar on this brand. I am the strongest, and I am the most brutal. Not the Big Show. And it sickens me to think, that all of you have forgotten, just how much damage I can do. So, I just sent a little reminder... five nights ago, by costing the Big Show and Chris Jericho, their Tag... Team... Titles.

We see a shot of Batista sweeping away both Chris Jericho and Big Show at Armageddon...

Batista: And whether Big Show and Chris Jericho hate each other now or not, they now realise that, come the Rumble, they have a bigger issue on their hands... not each other...

We cut back to Batista’s cold expression.

Batista: ... ...ME.

The shot fades to black momentarily, before kicking into gear with a skip forward in the promo...

WEEEEEEEEEELL... IT’S A BIG SHOW!!!

An eerie, almost distant music replaces that of the Big Show’s, and in slow motion, we see the big man charging out, and receiving left and right hands from the Animal, before grabbing him by the throat... but Batista low blows him...

We watch Batista going up the ramp, but we cut to Show, who is raging, his head on the bottom rope...

Big Show:Batista... you took me out... you cost me my titles... you’ve attacked me when I wasn’t even looking... you’ve lived your life on sneak attacks... at my expense, Dave...

Boos – Batista just smiles, knowing he’s safe for now.

Big Show: But it’ll only last for so long... because... I’m gunning for you after what you did on Sunday... believe me...

The Animal’s smirk weakens a little, and sweat appears on Show’s forehead, with the camera focusing firmly on his fuming, emotional face.

Big Show: So... just you keep running for now, Dave... but mark my words... you’ll get your just... desserts... for what you did to me on Sunday... and what you just did.

Batista turns round and begins to wander up the ramp, deliberately uninterested.

Big Show: HEY DAVE!

The shout gets the Animal’s attention, and he turns round to face the ring again.

Big Show:You forgot one thing... I’m the World Heavyweight Champion... and Theodore Long promised me, his Champion... I could have you, one-on-one... TONIGHT!

The colour drains from Batista’s face, and from the picture, and we spin and spin and spin...

...into the Main Event, where Big Show and Batista are engaging in a power struggle...

JR: These two men, behemoths of the business, fighting one-on-one tonight on SmackDown!

Show floors Batista with a gut-wrenching right hand to the stomach, and watches him fall with a look of contempt. The shot ripples accordingly...

JR: They’re gonna go at it at Royal Rumble, but tonight, it’s all about revenge for the Big Show!

We cut forward in the match, and see the exhausted expressions of both men, before...

JR: SPEAR! SPEAR FROM BATISTA!!!

Show crumples under the monstrous Spear, and the Animal shakes the ropes, before preparing for the Batista Bomb – only for Show to grab him round the throat... ... ...

CHAIR SHOT FROM JERICHO! The shot replays emphatically, over and over, as Jericho lands the chairshot to Show’s back, but it has no effect. The bell chimes for the DQ...

JR: Big Show is not a happy man!

Show turns around to face the terrified Jericho, and grabs HIM round the throat... but Batista helps out Jericho with a club to the back, and the pair begin to wear down the big man... who comes back with both hands to the throats of his enemies, and drives them both to the mat with a Double Chokeslam! The impact is edited to sound even more ferocious, and the video package comes to a close with Big Show standing tall with his World Heavyweight Championship, and JR’s parting words...

Cole: This man just won’t let go of what happened at Armageddon, King.

King:Let go? He just flat out denies it, Michael! Sheamus has this pride inside him, and he just can’t accept that someone like Jamie Noble can beat him!

Sheamus gets the ring, and removes his chain, his eyes boring holes into the instrument of his own demise from eight days previously. He flings it at the ringside staff ferociously, then crouches a little in a battle position, eager for his enemy to arrive.

Jamie Noble’s music explodes to life over the speakers around the Fargodome, and the crowd goes wild for the Pit Bull! The man of the moment comes storming out on to the stage, looking down the ramp with a crazed look in his eyes. Roberts has to really let fly over the crowd noise:

Roberts: And, his opponent! From Hanover, West Virginia, weighing in at 202 pounds... the Pit Bull... JAAAAAMIIIIIIIIEEEE, NOOOOOOOOBLE!!!

A massive cheer goes up for Noble... WHO SCREAMS LIKE A CRAZED ANIMAL, AND HURTLES DOWN THE RAMP, MAKING A BEELINE FOR SHEAMUS!

Cole: Oh my, Noble’s not hangin’ around!

King: No kidding, Michael! We’re about to see some action!

Noble rockets under the bottom rope, and FLINGS himself at the Celtic Warrior, unleashing everything he has with some monstrous right and left hands, red in the face with anger! Sheamus pushes Noble away, equally angry, and plants the Pit Bull with a huge Big Boot! The referee hurriedly calls for the bell, and the crowd starts to chant Noble’s name, supporting him all the way!

Match 5Sheamus vs Jamie NobleBattle Royal Qualifier

After about five minutes of high-octane action, we join the coverage, with Sheamus pummelling Noble on the mat relentlessly – that is, until the referee hits a count of four, and the Celtic Warrior moves away, visibly angry. Noble struggles to his feet, tenderly touching his face in pain – and Sheamus flattens him with a nasty clothesline! The crowd groans, and Sheamus hooks a leg almost violently... 1... 2... but Noble kicks out defiantly! Both men get to their feet, and Noble ducks under a right hand, before leaping into the air, and landing a Dropkick to the back of Sheamus’ head! The crowd cheers, and Sheamus keels over a little – Noble heads for the ropes, then comes back with a smooth Sunset Flip into the cover... 1... 2... but Sheamus pushes himself free emphatically! The crowd applauds Noble’s intelligence, but the Pit Bull spends no time enjoying the praise, instead stepping out on to the apron... and he springboards, looking for a Springboard Splash to the grounded Irishman... BUT SHEAMUS GETS HIS KNEES UP!

Noble goes careering across the ring, clutching his ribs in pain, and the crowd can only groan, the impact felt throughout the arena. Sheamus forces himself back up, snarling, and yanks Noble up to his feet, before pulling him up into the Oklahoma, and laying him out with a brutal Running Powerslam! The ring vibrates with the sick impact, and Sheamus hooks both legs, happy he’s won it... 1... 2... 3-NO! NOBLE WITH THE KICKOUT! The crowd goes wild! Sheamus looks down at the Pit Bull, incredulous, and his eyes goes wide! He stands, and begins to stomp repeatedly on Noble, furiously trying to break the Pit Bull into pieces! He heads for the ropes, and comes back with a nasty Knee Drop to Noble’s head – the crowd groans! Sheamus covers... 1... 2... Noble kicks out again!

Sheamus grabs Noble by the head angrily following the kickout, and pulls him to his feet... but Noble feeds the big man a leg, and cracks him round the head with a stunning Enzuigiri! The crowd groans with the massive ‘crack’ that resounds, and Sheamus goes down, completely shocked! Noble is down too, but as he crawls over for the cover, Sheamus instinctively rolls from the ring, away from the Pit Bull! The crowd boos, but Noble is only inspired, and he growls as he gets up. He grabs the top rope with an iron grip, and as Sheamus turns round, the Pit Bull launches, and looks to take him out with the Flying Crossbody... BUT SHEAMUS GRABS HIM IN MID-AIR, AND JUST SWEEPS HIM WITH A MASSIVE POWERSLAM INTO THE SECURITY BARRICADE! The crowd cries out in unison, because Jamie Noble may have just had his back broken in half! The arena is in shock! The replays show over and over... Sheamus just drills the Pit Bull into that thinly-padded barricade, all the momentum and power being driven through his back! What a brutal move – Noble is nearly unconscious on the outside mats, and Sheamus is stood above him, smirking! He brings everyone back to their trances by grabbing the lifeless Noble, and rolling him into the ring... but he’s not done! He just wants to send a message! He gets in the ring, but refuses to go for the cover yet, instead pulling the Pit Bull up into the Crucifix above his head – the heat is massive for Sheamus! The Irishman takes a few steps back... BEFORE SENDING NOBLE CRASHING DOWN INTO THE MAT WITH THE CRUCIFIX POWERBOMB! Noble crumples under the move, and Sheamus hooks both legs... 1... 2... 3! Sheamus has beaten Jamie Noble in vicious fashion!

Winner: Sheamus

Match Time: 8:12

Sheamus’ music plays, and the Irishman lets out a sick grin. The referee raises his arm, and he relishes in it, still smirking. He moves away from the referee as Justin Roberts announces that he is the winner, and the referee checks on Noble, who doesn’t look in a good way, at all. A few more referees and backstage staff charge down to the ring, and tend to the Pit Bull, who slowly comes to, immense pain across his face. Sheamus just stands, watching his enemy suffer.

Cole: Sheamus has beaten Jamie Noble tonight, and King, you have to worry for the Pit Bull’s well-being after that horrible Powerslam into the security barricade.

King: I know, Michael. Jamie’s back must be severely damaged, I mean, that’s just sick.

The referees and medics aid Noble to his feet, but he can’t walk himself – instead, the staff help him along a little, supporting him as they guide him towards the ropes to exit the ring... PUMP KICK FROM SHEAMUS! The crowd boos intensely, as Sheamus just flattens the barely conscious Noble back to the mat! The referees scream at the Irishman, telling him to leave, and the Celtic Warrior just smirks, looking down at the Pit Bull with a slightly wild smile, clearly pleased with his work. The medics try to bring Noble around on the mat as Sheamus leaves, but he’s out cold. As Cole and King put over how much of a sick bastard Sheamus is, Raw goes to a break.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

As Raw returns, we’re backstage with Shane McMahon, who is sitting on a sofa, relaxing. Suddenly, we hear a ‘slam’, as a door bursts open off-screen, and Shane looks up at someone not yet in shot. He groans.

Shane: Can I help you?

The shot widens, and none other than the Miz appears, United States Title draped over his shoulder. The crowd intensely boos the self-proclaimed “Awesome One”, who tilts his head a little. Shane stands, sighing.

Miz: Can you help me? Really, Shane? REALLY?

Shane rolls his eyes.

Miz: You need to ask me why I’m here? Isn’t it obvious... Shane?

The crowd boos. Shane folds his arms.

Miz: Maybe you’d like to tell me... the Miz... why I’m not in your precious Special tonight? Huh? Cause I am one of... no, correction – THE biggest star on Monday Night Raw. And if anyone deserves a shot at the WWE Title... a Championship? It should be a Champion. Like me.

The crowd boos again. Shane raises an eyebrow.

Miz: I would have wiped the floor with these losers tonight. So why don’t you tell me, just why I’m not in this little Battle Royal of yours.

Shane pauses for a second. He blinks once, then speaks:

Shane: Miz, as far as I know, you’re set to defend your United States Championship at Royal Rumble... against Evan Bourne.

The crowd cheers for the name – the Miz scowls.

Shane: So I’m afraid... you’re not going to be taking on Jack Swagger for the WWE Championship at Royal Rumble. Cause you have a title defence.

The Miz frowns.

Miz: So, you’re telling me... this is all Evan Bourne’s fault?

Shane tilts his head with a bemused look.

Shane: ...how?

Miz goes off on one.

Miz: If I didn’t have to defend my title against that... loser, I could be winning my first ever WWE Title! This is a travesty! Shane, are you out of your mind? Who’s more important, Evan Bourne, or me, the biggest asset you have?

Shane sighs and sits down.

Miz: Fine, Shane... have it YOUR way. Whatever. But when ratings go down around the country as everyone finds out that I’M not gonna be in that Battle Royal later on, you’ll only have yourself to blame... buddy.

Shane doesn’t look like he cares – he looks tired. Miz scowls, and turns to leave, but he stops himself. He turns back to the GM with narrowed eyes.

Miz: Oh, and you know why? It’s cause I’M THE MIZ... AND I’M...

Cena: Oh, give it up!

The crowd pops big for John Cena, who comes into shot, frowning. Miz’s eyes go wide, infuriated that he’s been interrupted. Shane looks up at them both, suddenly interested.

Cena: Awesome this, awesome that, nobody cares! So what you’re not in the Special, you’ll have your moment at the Rumble, when Evan kicks your ass in front of the world!

The crowd cheers for Cena’s endorsement of Bourne, and Miz scowls. He suddenly smirks, however...

And with that, Cena puts a hand on Miz’s chest, and shoves him from the shot, to the crowd’s approval. We hear a ‘crash’ in the background as Miz collides with something, and a series of crashes, but we don’t see what it was, instead staying with Cena, who now turns to Shane, who smiles a little as he stands again.

Cena: Shane, man. Look, you saw it last week. My hand was on that bottom rope. You know it was. I shouldn’t have lost – you gotta help me out here, man.

Shane grimaces.

Shane: John, I wish there was something I could do, but the decision of the referee was final, and I can’t change that now.

Shane pauses. Cena frowns.

Shane: My hands are tied, John. I’m sorry.

Cena looks at Shane, his eyes on fire. He turns and leaves, visibly agitated, and Shane collapses into the sofa once more, exhausted. He runs a hand through his hair, and the camera cuts to the arena.

Cole: John Cena isn’t in a good mood after last week’s events, it seems.

King: And if he wants to win back that WWE Title, he has to do it at the Rumble now, Michael!

Cole: Well, he’ll face Chris Masters in a bit, but right now, Randy Orton will be in action against the Caribbean superstar, Carlito.

On cue, the bell chimes...

I HEAR VOICES IN MY HEAD, THEY COUNSEL ME, THEY UNDERSTAND... THEY TALK TO ME!

The crowd boos for Randy Orton, who slowly wanders out, frowning.

Roberts: The following contest is a Battle Royal Qualifier, set for one fall! Introducing first, from St. Louis, Missouri, weighing in at 245 pounds... Randy Orton!

Orton slowly walks down the ramp, looking at the ringside fans with disgust.

Cole: If Randy Orton can win here tonight, he’ll be going to that Battle Royal later tonight, joining Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Kofi Kingston, Sheamus, and his two young protégés, Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase.

King: The Viper is a six-time World Champion, Michael – he can make it seven at the Rumble if he can get it done here tonight.

Orton rolls under the bottom rope, and stands, before heading to the turnbuckle, and standing tall, staring out coldly at the booing crowd. The camera cuts to show a couple of young fans giving the Viper thumbs-down symbols. Orton gets down, and wanders around the ring, eyes cold.

I SPIT IN DE FACE, OF PEOPLE WHO DON’T WANT TO BE COOL...

The crowd cheers for Carlito, who appears, looking apprehensive. He tosses a green apple about in his hand as he begins to make his way down the ramp.

Roberts: And his opponent, from the Caribbean, weighing in at 220 pounds... Carlito!

Cole: Carlito failed to qualify for the Royal Rumble last week alongside his brother Primo, following some questionable tactics on the part of their opponents, Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase.

King: And who taught them to play dirty in the first place? Carlito’s opponent tonight, Randy Orton!

‘Lito hands his apple to a smiling child in the crowd, then steps up onto the apron. He then springs over the top rope athletically, pointing at Orton as he lands, but the Viper nonchalantly looks away. The Caribbean superstar limbers up a little, then nods at the referee, who briefly checks Orton before kicking things off with a swing of the arm.

Match 6Randy Orton vs CarlitoBattle Royal Qualifier

We join the action at about six minutes in. The action has been fairly back-and-forth, but Orton has begun to take control, flooring the Caribbean superstar with a few hard moves and strikes, and as we join the coverage, Orton is stomping all over ‘Lito in his trademark fashion. Left ankle... right ankle... right ankle again... right wrist... head! Carlito yells out, and Orton heads for the ropes, rebounds... and a massive ‘thump’ can be heard as the Viper connects with a Knee Drop to the forehead of the Caribbean superstar! The crowd groans a little, and Orton covers... 1... 2... but ‘Lito kicks out! The crowd cheers, but Orton is visibly angered by Carlito’s tenacity, and pulls him to his feet... but the Caribbean superstar lashes out with a sharp kick to Orton’s gut, and floors him with a superb Flowing DDT! The crowd cheers, but before Carlito can capitalise, Orton rolls under the bottom rope, clutching his face in pain! The crowd immediately boos the Viper, and Carlito frowns in the ring – but he decides to kick it up a gear, and grabs the top rope, before springboarding... AND TAKING ORTON OUT WITH A SOMERSAULT PLANCHA TO THE OUTSIDE! AMAZING!

The crowd gets to its feet simultaneously to applaud Carlito, who struggles back to his feet, holding his neck, and raises an arm to acknowledge the fans! Orton looks up at the ceiling, eyes wide open in shock and pain. After a couple of replays show, Carlito takes the initiative, and jumps up on to the apron, facing the Viper. Orton struggles up, and Carlito launches again, but this time, Orton catches him with a boot to the gut, and slams his head into the apron itself! Carlito rattles off it with a groan, and collapses to the floor! The crowd boos Orton, who seethes, and rolls back into the ring, resting. Carlito slowly grabs the barricade nearby, and pulls himself up to his feet, before pulling himself up on to the apron by the top rope – but the Legend Killer kicks him in the gut, and drapes him over the middle rope in the front facelock! The crowd boos wildly, but Orton tunes out to the jeers, and a strange look encapsulates his entire face... BEFORE HE PLANTS CARLITO WITH THE ROPE-HUNG DDT!

Carlito crunches to the mat, and doesn’t move! The crowd lets out a collective groan, and Orton stands, sweeping his head from side to side like a snake in motion! He pulls ‘Lito into the middle of the ring, and hooks a leg, sure of victory... 1... 2... NO! CARLITO KICKS OUT! The crowd cheers wildly, and Orton’s eyes go wide! The camera zooms in on his stunned expression, and he immediately grabs ‘Lito by the head, pulling him to his feet in a fit of rage! He rocks the Caribbean superstar with a nasty European Uppercut, then sends him to the ropes... but he comes back in style, leaping up, and pulling the Viper down with a Hurricanrana... AND STARTS ROCKING HIM WITH CRAZY RIGHT HANDS ON THE MAT! The crowd comes to life with Carlito, who rolls off Orton... the Viper gets up to face him... and ‘Lito chokes him with his own arm, before swinging him down with the Arm Trap Neckbreaker! The crowd goes wild, and Carlito covers... 1... 2... but Orton kicks out! The crowd groans, but Carlito isn’t done! He peels the Viper from the mat, and sends him to the turnbuckle. He follows up... but Orton spins from the picture, and ‘Lito eats turnbuckle cover! The Caribbean superstar comes staggering into the centre of the ring... RKO OUTTA NOWHERE!!! The crowd is silenced in a moment, as Orton pulls out the RKO, finishing this match in the process! The Viper hooks a leg... 1... 2... 3!

Winner: Randy Orton

Match Time: 9:21

Orton has his arm raised, and the crowd boos him.

Cole: Randy Orton will advance to the Main Event on the back of that performance, King – that RKO can come of absolutely nowhere, can’t it?

King: That’s one of Randy Orton’s traits, Michael! He can strike at any time, when you least expect it!

Orton gets up on the top turnbuckle to stare out at the crowd, who just continue to boo, and the arena turns gold with the Viper’s colours. Raw goes to a break.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

As Raw returns, we’re backstage, where we see Shawn Michaels and Triple H, sitting on steel chairs in their locker room. Neither man is in DX gear, notably. Both men have their hands clasped together in front of them, and an awkward silence grips the room as neither man will look at the other. Hunter ends up being the one to break the silence, unclasping his hands:

Silence. Michaels looks into the distance, then slaps the Game on the arm.

Michaels: And you know, we both got into the Battle Royal, right? We could really turn things around tonight! WWE Championship, Hunter!

The Game nods furtively, and shakily points at HBK.

Triple H: Yeah! WWE Championship. Right.

Both men look about the room, as the awkward silence grips the room once more. Triple H purses his lips nonchalantly, then stands.

Triple H: Well... I guess I’ll see ya out there, then.

Michaels looks around, his tongue pressed against the inside of his mouth.

Michaels: Uh... I guess you will.

Triple H holds out a fist for them to touch knuckles, and Michaels goes to accept... but he misses the Game’s fist by an inch, hitting thin air. The pair stand in silence for a moment, and Michaels gets it on the second bite of the cherry, eyes flickering about, embarrassed. Triple H pretends it didn’t happen, and nonchalantly shuffles out of the room, hastily shutting the door behind him. Michaels facepalms as soon as the door closes.

We cut to ringside, where the bell rings, and Chris Masters’ music hits, to some decent heat. The Masterpiece himself arrives, smirking, and points out at the crowd, cocky as ever.

Roberts:The following contest is a Battle Royal Qualifier, set for one fall! Introducing first, from Los Angeles, California, weighing in at 275 pounds... Chris Masters!

The crowd boos a bit more as Masters struts down the ramp, deliberately flexing his muscles at the fans at ringside, who don’t hold back with their insults.

Cole: This man brutally attacked Paul London for no reason last week, even throwing him through a pile of wooden crates, severely injuring the high-flyer in the process.

King: It was a pretty violent attack, Michael. Chris Masters hasn’t had the best of luck in the ring recently, so he just took it out on poor Paul!

Masters gets in the ring, still smirking as always, and flexes his muscles a bit more. His music subsides, and he takes a place in the corner to await the entrance of...

JOHN CENA! The Fargodome goes wild for the iconic music of ‘the Champ’ (or not), who comes charging out, a serious look on his face. He throws the salute on the stage, then hurtles down the ramp, running his hand through the outstretched hands of the fans at ringside.

Roberts: And his opponent... from West Newbury, Massachusetts, weighing in at 240 pounds... JOHN... CEEEEEEEEENAAAA!!!

Cole: And here comes the former WWE Champion, who was hard done by last week!

King: We’ve already seen once tonight just how angry John Cena is about that unjust loss – I’d hate to be Chris Masters’ shoes right now, though I’d have pretty big abs, Michael.

Cena slides under the bottom rope, and stares down Masters coldly. He flings his cap and orange into the crowd, then beckons for the referee to get things underway. He does, and Masters smirks as he moves forward – STRAIGHT INTO A MASSIVE RIGHT HAND FROM CENA! John Cena isn’t taking any crap from anyone tonight!

Match 7Chris Masters vs John CenaBattle Royal Qualifier

Cena pretty much performs a clinic on Masters here, proving just how much he’s in no mood to mess about tonight. As we join the match about three minutes in, Cena has Masters in an Arm Wrench hold, and is expertly applying some serious pressure to the shoulder. Masters gets to a vertical base, and manages to whip Cena away, to the ropes... and Cena comes back with a classic Flying Shoulder Block! The crowd pops big, and both men are back up – so Cena heads for the ropes, and delivers another on his return! Masters leaps up, disorientated, and swings with the clothesline... so the former WWE Champion sends him for a ride with the Spin-Out Powerbomb! Cena hops to his feet, and raises the inevitable hand! The crowd cheers wildly, and Cena points to the camera, yelling ‘THIS ONE’S FOR YOU, SWAGGER!’ before unleashing the inevitable gesture down at Masters, with the entire crowd roaring ‘You can’t see me!’ before Cena heads for the ropes... he shuffles... AND CONNECTS WITH THE FIVE – KNUCKLE – SHUFFLE!

Masters spasms as the move connects, and Cena stands into the crouching position, preparing... Masters struggles back to his feet, and the ex-Champ picks him up into the Fireman’s Carry! The crowd cheers wildly, but Masters suddenly escapes out the back door... AND LOCKS IN THE MASTER LOCK FROM ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE!!! The crowd is stunned, and Cena suddenly yells out, the Masterpiece applying the Full Nelson like the expert he is! Masters yells out with adrenaline, while Cena can only yell out in agony as the Masterpiece begins to SHAKE Cena from side to side! The referee asks the question, but the former WWE Champion is too desperate to get his hands back on the title, and he defiantly roars the negative! Masters is just spurred on, and he applies the hold even more, shaking Cena about in the hold... and Cena begins to fade! The crowd calls out with all sorts of noise, egging their man on, but there’s no denying, that John Cena is looking closer and closer to passing out! Masters keeps the hold locked in, his grin widening as he feels Cena beginning to go limp... BUT CENA SUDDENLY COMES BACK TO LIFE, FIGHTING LIKE CRAZY TO GET OUT OF THE PADLOCK-LIKE HOLD! The crowd roars Cena’s name – and the man himself just goes insane, yelling out, and fighting like his life depended on it, before... CENA FORCES MASTERS BACKWARDS, AND SLAMS HIM INTO THE TURNBUCKLE! The arena roars as Masters’ hold snaps like a twig, and Cena immediately takes advantage, no selling the hold like a robot, and hoisting the Masterpiece on to his shoulders... AND DROPPING HIM WITH THE ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT!!! Cena drapes himself exhaustedly over Masters, and the referee drops to make the count... 1... 2... 3!

Winner: John Cena

Match Time: 5:23

As Cena’s music plays, the crowd goes wild, and the referee raises Cena’s arm in victory! We immediately cut backstage to see WWE Champion Jack Swagger, holding his jaw in slow contemplation, a big frown across his face. We cut back to the arena, where Cena heads back up the ramp, knowing he’ll be back there in not very much time at all.

Cole: John Cena has beaten Chris Masters tonight, and you better believe he’s not going to stop fighting until he gets another shot at the WWE Championship!

King:You got that right, Michael! He took a big step tonight, but we still have one more match to go – that Battle Royal to decide the No. 1 Contender to the WWE Title at Royal Rumble!

As Cena takes one last look at the Raw ring before heading backstage, Raw goes to a break.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

As Raw returns, we’re at ringside. Michael Cole and Jerry ‘the King’ Lawler smile at us from behind the announce desk.

Cole: Good evening, welcome back to this special 3-Hour edition of Monday Night Raw, it’s our No. 1 Contender Special here tonight!

King: Sure is, Michael, and it’s been a fantastic evening so far!

Cole:However, I might point out that earlier this evening, Jamie Noble may have been severely injured when he was Powerslammed into the security barricade by the Celtic Warrior, Sheamus.

King: Sheamus has really meant business all evening, Michael.

Cole: He has indeed, King. Well, during the break we received some information on the condition of the Pit Bull, and I’m afraid it’s not great news. Jamie has severely injured his back, says our Head Trainer, and it is unknown as of yet when he’ll be able to step back inside the ring. We’ll try and keep you posted as this situation develops, but right now, let’s head backstage, to Todd Grisham.

The crowd boos Swagger as he appears in the shot, not looking very happy, with his title belt over his shoulder.

Grisham: Jack, later tonight, eight men will go head-to-head in a Battle Royal to determine-

Swagger wrenches the mic from Grisham’s hand furiously, and rips into him, lisp present as ever.

Swagger: Don’t insult my intelligence! I’m not here to have you tell me what I already know!

Grisham tries to mumble out an apology, stunned, but Swagger doesn’t wait for him, instead swivelling to face the cameraman as the crowd boos him.

Swagger: I’m here to send a message. I don’t care who wins tonight. I don’t care one bit. All that matters is that I’M the WWE Champion, and I’m gonna be for one hell of a long time.

A ‘You suck!’ chant can be heard starting off in the arena.

Swagger: So listen up, whether you’re in that Battle Royal or not. I’m not losing at Royal Rumble. I’m not losing my WWE Championship, and no matter who you are, I will embarrass you. Because I am on my own, and the top tier of professional wrestling. On my own. No-one compares to me.

The crowd boos.

Swagger: And I don’t care about how the ‘fans’ feel about it either, because they’re just jealous of my success! WWE Champion, ECW Champion, two-time All-American – the list goes on. Like I said last week... I shut you all up when I became WWE Champion at Armageddon.

More boos.

Swagger: So all of you might want to reconsider your priorities tonight... cause if you win, sure, it’ll be a small victory. But it’ll only be a matter of time before you realise what you’re up against. The ultimate in raw talent. The W... W... E... Champion.

The heat is huge for Swagger as he snarls out his final word, jerking his thumb into his chest.

Swagger: ME.

The crowd boos wildly, and the All-American American strides out of the shot, scowling.

We cut back to the arena, where the bell rings.

Roberts: The following contest is an 8-Man Battle Royal! The winner will go on to face WWE Champion Jack Swagger, for the title, at Royal Rumble!

A small cheer goes up, and there’s a short silence as we await the first man to arrive...

I THINK I’M CUTE... I KNOW I’M SEXY!!!

The crowd goes wild for Shawn Michaels, who comes out, smiling a little. He kneels down on the ramp, and prays in his typical fashion, before leaping up, unleashing his pyro behind him.

Cole: He beat Chavo Guerrero in a great contest to get to this Battle Royal tonight, and Shawn Michaels is sure to try his absolute hardest to earn himself that WWE Championship shot.

King: Shawn’s match with Chavo earlier was great, Michael! I can’t wait to see how he gets on in this Battle Royal!

The Heartbreak Kid wanders down the ramp, slapping the hands of the fans at ringside, then gets in the ring.

I HEAR VOICES IN MY HEAD, THEY COUNSEL ME, THEY UNDERSTAND, THEY TALK TO ME!!!

The crowd begins to boo, and Michaels frowns up at the stage as Randy Orton appears. He looks down coldly at HBK in the ring, as the arena’s golden lights shine down on the scene.

Roberts: And his opponent, from St. Louis, Missouri, weighing in at 245 pounds... Randy Orton!

As Orton begins to stalk his way down the ramp, we hear Michael Cole over the top:

Cole: Here comes Randy Orton – will he be the one to face Jack Swagger at Royal Rumble? Find out, after the break.

Raw goes to a break, to avoid all the tiresome entrances. Forgive me for not wanting to waste my time.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

As Raw returns, Ted DiBiase, Cody Rhodes, Triple H, and Sheamus have all arrived in the ring – we just see Sheamus’ music subsiding, and the Irishman staring down the other competitors, before the arena turns green...

SOS... I HEAR DEM SHOUTIN’! SOS... I HEAR DEM CRYIN’!

The crowd cheers wildly for Kofi Kingston, who comes out, smiling. He hits the three ‘BOOM’ claps, coupled with three bursts of pyro, before he begins to bounce down the ramp, slapping the hands of those eager fans at ringside.

Roberts: And his opponent, from Ghana, West Africa, weighing in at 221 pounds... Kofi Kingston!

Cole: Welcome back to Monday Night Raw’s No. 1 Contender Special! Now, Kofi Kingston took the least time to win his Qualifier tonight – does that give him an advantage, King?

King: You would think so, Michael, but anything can happen in these Battle Royals! Who knows?

Kingston gets in the ring, and leaps athletically on to one of the turnbuckles for another three claps. The camera sweeps through the expressions of a couple of people at ringside, namely Randy Orton and his Legacy associates. The Viper scowls, and Cole brings up that match at Armageddon.

Kingston’s music subsides... and the arena comes to life with a massive cheer for John Cena! The final participant comes rushing out, exhilarated, and charges down the ramp, sliding into the ring! The former WWE Champion stares at Kofi, who hasn’t left the ring, and there’s a moment of tension between the two...

Roberts: And finally, from West Newbury, Massachusetts, weighing in at 240 pounds... John Cena!

Cole:John Cena lost in controversial circumstances this time last week – if he wants that WWE Title back, this match is a must-win for him.

King:My money’s on him, Michael! Did you see how determined he was against Chris Masters earlier?

The other participants tentatively join Kingston and Cena in the ring, and the latter flings his cap and shirt (both new, seeing as he’s done it once already tonight) into the crowd. Sheamus hangs around on the outside, and the crowd’s boos become audible as Cena’s music dies down. The Irishman eventually gets in the ring, and the bell chimes.

This will be in extended recap form. I’ll explain every elimination, and give you a full ending, basically. I’ve got to get this posted some time before the end of May.

The beginning of the match follows the usual format for Battle Royals – every man laying generic right hands into each other. However, things start to get interesting with some eliminations being teased not long after – Sheamus tosses Shawn Michaels over, but he lands on the apron, and leaps back into the match, for instance. Legacy double-team John Cena, who eventually fights back, and pushes DiBiase away, straight into a Trouble in Paradise from Kofi Kingston. DiBiase is out on his feet, and the Ghanaian flings him over the top rope, and from the match.

Elimination #1: Ted DiBiase by Kofi Kingston @ 2:39

Cena, not to be outdone by Kingston, immediately hoists Cody Rhodes on to his shoulders, and sends him over the ropes sensationally with a sweet Attitude Adjustment...

Elimination #2: Cody Rhodes by John Cena @ 2:52

Cena and Kingston have a pretty big staredown in the middle of the ring after this, before Sheamus clobbers them both with a double clothesline. The next elimination doesn’t arrive for a while – Sheamus goes on a Pump Kick frenzy, flooring every other man in the match, but Jamie Noble’s music suddenly plays! The Celtic Warrior looks to the ramp, stunned that an injured Noble might be coming to take him on... but the Pit Bull doesn’t appear, leaving the Irishman confused. The music subsides, and Sheamus continues to stare up at the stage, one hand on the top rope closest to the ramp. He turns round... AND SHAWN MICHAELS NAILS HIM WITH SWEET CHIN MUSIC! Sheamus goes right over the top rope, stunned, and the crowd goes wild!

Elimination #3: Sheamus by Shawn Michaels @ 6:24

It goes without saying that Sheamus isn’t pleased, and he rushes backstage, furiously roaring the name of... you’ve guessed it, Jamie Noble. The crowd join in, but in more endearing terms. After a bit more scrapping between the remaining participants, Kofi Kingston is eliminated – the Ghanaian goes to clothesline over his old enemy, Randy Orton, but the Viper sends him on to the apron with a Back Body Drop. Kingston misses with a right hand – AND ORTON HITS AN RKO, BOUNCING KINGSTON’S HEAD OFF THE TOP ROPE, AND SENDING HIM OUT!!!

Elimination #4: Kofi Kingston by Randy Orton @ 9:51

Orton smirks down at Kingston – but he turns round, only to be flung over the top by John Cena! Orton clatters to the floor beside Kingston, and the crowd goes wild!

Elimination #5: Randy Orton by John Cena @ 9:58

Cena raises an eyebrow at a bemused Kofi Kingston on the outside, having proven a point to the Ghanaian after their minor coming-together earlier on. We join the action here, as Triple H, Shawn Michaels and John Cena are the last three men in the match – Cena turns around to face Triple H, who has been resting in the corner, leaning on the turnbuckle, and the two slowly wander into the centre of the ring, tired... AND THEY START TO UNLEASH RIGHT HANDS ON EACH OTHER! The crowd comes to life as the Game and the ex-Champ go at it crazily in the middle of the ring, rocking each other with these huge right hooks! Cena begins to take control, landing a few consecutive shots, before Triple H kicks him in the gut, and sends him to the ropes – AND PLANTS HIM WITH THE DOUBLE A SPINEBUSTER! The crowd pops big, and Cena is totally laid out! The Game looks down at his old adversary, and a small smile begins to form... BAM! SWEET CHIN MUSIC FROM SHAWN MICHAELS! The crowd yells out in unison – the arena is stunned! The Heartbreak Kid came from nowhere with Sweet Chin Music to his friend and partner for the second time in four days, but this time he sure as hell meant it! The Showstopper goes down as he connects with the move, and suddenly, all three men are flat out on their backs, in complete shock!

Shawn Michaels is the first man to stir. He crawls slowly to the ropes, and pulls himself to his feet, pain across his face. After a moment of resting on the ropes, he looks across the ring, where John Cena has found the ropes, and is pulling himself up! Michaels takes the initiative, striding over to the former WWE Champion, and cracking him with a Knife Edge Chop across the chest! The inevitable ‘WOOO!’ comes from the crowd, and Cena keels over, pained – and Michaels does it again! This stands Cena back up, really smarting now, and HBK takes a couple of steps back, allowing Cena to move forward, and get hit with the Inverted Atomic Drop from the Heartbreak Kid! Cena falls away, his face contorted with pain, and Michaels makes his move, grabbing Cena’s legs... AND TRYING TO SHOVE HIM OVER THE TOP! The crowd comes to life again, half roaring Cena’s name, and half yelling for Michaels! Cena is off the floor, and Michaels increases his efforts, only for the former WWE Champion to grab the top rope, and refuse to go over!

Triple H stumbles up to his feet, dazed from the Superkick he received from his friend Michaels – and he finally realises what happened! He looks towards the struggle going on across the ring, and he looks like he’s having a huge dilemma! Then, with decision clearly made, the Game moves over there... AND STARTS TRYING TO PUSH JOHN CENA OVER, TOO! The crowd lets out a huge mixed reaction, with different portions of the crowd crying for each superstar! Michaels is heartened by the Game’s presence, and he forces Cena’s legs over... BUT CENA LANDS ON THE APRON! The crowd cheers, and the former WWE Champion comes back with a massive, cracking right hand to Michaels, sending the Showstopper reeling back into the centre of the ring! Triple H throws a right hand of his own, but Cena ducks it, and drives his shoulder through the middle rope, catching the Game in the gut! Triple H goes staggering back into the centre of the ring, gasping for air, allowing Cena to get back in! Michaels sees this, and charges towards him, but he finds himself quickly on Cena’s shoulders – AND THE ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT CONNECTS FROM CENA TO MICHAELS! The crowd roars, and Cena gets up – only to get floored by a right hand from the Game, Triple H! Cena is back up immediately, and fires straight back with a Flying Shoulder Block! Both men get back to their feet, so Cena takes him out again! Once again, they rise, and Triple H flings the arm... which Cena ducks, before laying the Game out with the Spin-Out Powerbomb!

The crowd goes wild as Cena stands, looking like a man possessed... he waves the hand to Triple H, before heading for the ropes... theatrics... and lands the Five Knuckle Shuffle! Cena stands up, adrenaline pumping, and immediately crouches in the corner – Triple H stands, and Cena hoists him into the Fireman’s Carry! The crowd cheers wildly, but Triple H suddenly escapes, landing behind the former Champ! Cena turns round in shock, and gets a boot to the gut, before his arms are hooked... AND TRIPLE H GIVES HIM A TASTE OF THE PEDIGREE!!! Another huge mixed reaction goes up around the arena, and the Game wastes no time, immediately pulling Cena to his feet, and trying to fling him over the top rope... which he does, but Cena lands on the apron again! Triple H goes wild, however, red in the face, and immediately puts both hands on Cena’s shoulders, trying to shove him over with everything he has! Cena grabs on to the top rope like his life depends on it, and won’t let go! Cena looks deep down... and lashes out with a big right hand, sending the Game away – but Michaels is up suddenly, and he lashes out with SWEET CHIN MUSIC... BUT THE GAME DUCKS, AND THE MOVE HITS CENA ON THE APRON!!! CENA WOBBLES, OUT ON HIS FEET... AND FALLS OFF THE APRON, ONTO THE FLOOR!

Elimination #6: John Cena by Shawn Michaels @ 14:34

John Cena will NOT be facing Jack Swagger for the WWE Title at Royal Rumble! It’s official! Michaels is suddenly at the ropes, looking down at the absolutely crestfallen John Cena... BUT HE’S TOTALLY FORGOTTEN! THERE’S ONE MORE MAN IN THIS MATCH! The crowd roars wildly, and as Michaels turns round... TRIPLE H SENDS HIM SOARING OVER THE TOP ROPE WITH A MASSIVE CLOTHESLINE, AND THE SHOWSTOPPER CAREERS DOWN TO THE OUTSIDE FLOOR!!! THIS ONE IS OVER!!!

Elimination #7: Shawn Michaels by Triple H @ 14:53

Winner: Triple H

Match Time: 14:53

Triple H has done it! Shawn Michaels’ mouth goes wide in fury on the outside, and the Game just grins, realising he’s going to be facing Jack Swagger for the WWE Championship at Royal Rumble! Michaels stands up in disbelief, and Triple H looks at him sympathetically, mouthing ‘It’s just business’! The crowd begins to chant ‘Triple H! Triple H!’, but Shawn Michaels is irate! He can’t believe he was eliminated in such cheap fashion, by his own partner! The camera briefly shows John Cena, who has his head in his hands – he’s inconsolable.

Cole: Triple H has won the Battle Royal here tonight, at the expense of his own friend and partner, Shawn Michaels.

King: Did you see what Triple H said? ‘It’s just business’, Michael. And he’s right! Wouldn’t Shawn have done the same to him?

Cole: Maybe, King, maybe, but I doubt this is the last we’ll hear of this one!

We see a brief camera shot of Jack Swagger scowling as he watches the action backstage, before we cut back to the image of Triple H, shrugging down at Shawn Michaels, before heading to the turnbuckles to celebrate his victory with the fans.

Cole: I’m afraid that’s all the time we have! Thank you for watching our 3-Hour edition of Monday Night Raw here tonight, we have ourselves the new No. 1 Contender! From myself, Michael Cole, and my broadcast partner, Jerry ‘the King’ Lawler, we wish you a very good night, and we’ll see you next week!

Editor’s Note: It took me, well, about three weeks to get that written. Sorry about that. The exam season is a bitch, as I’m sure many of you know from either past experience or if you’re in the middle of it now, as I am. Either way, it means that I’m a lot more strapped for time, so it naturally puts BTB a bit further to the back of my mind for the moment. I’m glad I have this written, just so everyone knows I haven’t given up on this.

I’m planning on doing some mini-feuds leading up to the Rumble PPV on Raw, especially. These feuds are just small ones which will probably end with one man eliminating the other in the Rumble or something, but it’s just so my shows don’t just consist of ‘I’m gonna win the Rumble’, ‘No I am’ promos and segments. I would also like to point out that I've had a good look at my roster and the way I'm using it currently, and I've come to the conclusion that I'm overusing it a bit too much. In other words, I have too much going on. So, my plan is to cut down on using a few superstars, because otherwise I have no-one to use in general TV matches where I can't have one man go over the other because they're both red-hot, and because you can only use a DQ/Countout finish so often before it becomes stale, tbh.

Anyway, enjoy the show, I’ll be as active as is humanly possible whilst in this exam period. Thanks, guys.

As I said when I commented on the preview, which now feels like it was a millennium way, not sure about this show. Could be very hit and miss, so let’s see how you go. The commentary was alright to put over the concept, although by mentioning no matches and only certain superstars, you kind of get the impression that these superstars are the only ones with a hope of winning, and that if you tuned out, then tuned back in at the end of the third hour, you’d have saved a lot of time because those same guys would be there. Just makes it feel like the matches leading up to it are a little unnecessary, and far from must see events.

Kicking things off with Shane? I’m okay with that, although with the whole show seemingly already sorted, I’m not sure what the point will be. Sure enough, the promo of Shane seemed extremely pointless. I mean, I don’t really feel like you’d need to have him come out to talk about the concept again. The interruption of Sheamus is indeed interesting, as it’s the featuring of a new guy alongside Shane in an open segment, but I thought you could have maybe tried to have Shane ay something a little different. Perhaps even having had him held off on the match announcements, then had made them here. That would also lead in to what SHeamus said pretty well, imo, since it seems his point is that he’s not involved in this little shindig right from the get go. Sheamus’ explanation on why he lost to Noble was actually pretty well done, and I have to say, I think you characterise Sheamus really well with his accent and the like. Really helps me picture him well. Not so sure about the attitude of Shane, because while it adds a dimension to his character, standing up so blatantly to Sheamus seems like a stupid idea, and one a McMahon wouldn’t even think of. Clever way to get Sheamus in with a rematch with Noble, which should prove to be a good match. Nice closing line from Sheamus here too. All in all, the promo felt maybe a little short, but still pretty good, especially on the Sheamus side of things. I feel he could be someone you could and should push strongly, as you seem to have no problem with writing with him … and I also think he’s damn talented.

I like the idea of starting the matches off big here, and Tripper kicking it off gets just about as big as it gets with the exception of Cena. Chuck Palumbo is his opponent? Having just returned last week, I certainly think it’s too early for him to get involved in something like this. I would have thought your roster maybe had a little more depth to it than that. Also, not big on the Motor Machine nickname. Just doesn’t seem like it fits with wrestling, and while I know his gimmick is to do with his bikes, I don’t think it really works. The match itself was basic yet good, allowing Palumbo to get a bit of a rub by competing with Trips. Swagger looking at his possible Rumble opponent? Wouldn’t surprise me. @ Lawler’s, “TRIPLE H JUST BEAT CHUCK PALUMBO!” enthusiasm too, btw. Palumbo is definitely a bigger name than Rock and Austin put together.

Okay promo here from the divas, reminding us of the upcoming Divas Title match, and also keeping Maryse involved in the title scene, which is certainly for the best considering she’s got by far the most personality. I thought she was pretty well written here, and made the promo good, especially for what it could be in the circumstances that you had it in, and with the other characters (or lack of characters) that you had there.

Legacy getting some mic time before their match? Certainly not a bad thing by me. What happened in the promo, though? Not too big on it. The way in which Legacy spoke of Orton, he almost seemed like he was their bitch. The whole appeal of Orton is that he’s this badass guy who can kick some ass when needed, and for Legacy to almost be talking down on him, seemingly insinuating that they’re smarter than him and that they’re better than him? Not good. It just damages Orton too much for mine. I like the point that Orton recognizing Legacy as being worth his time and them showing they belong, but the way in which they spoke was too arrogant for mine when in reference to Orton. The transition into the situation of Legacy’s next challengers was, well, non-existent, which was disappointing too. I didn’t mind the ending of the promo with Legacy talking up their chances tonight, but apart from that, I wasn’t really a fan of this promo.

I should say, I like the idea of this match by having four guys who are good enough to compete in the battle royal competing in tag team action, changing things up a little compared to the rest of the show and also giving the tag chaps some exposure as a team. Another nice basic match here. Not sure how I feel about the dirty finish, but I guess it keeps Henry looking strong.

Bourne promos aren’t generally a good thing, though I thought you did what you could with him at the beginning, using some cheap pop type tactics pretty well. Sweeney promo was okay in the over the top exuberant fashion, although for some reason it didn’t feel quite right. Something was missing, though I’m not sure what. Still, alright effort, and good to see Bourne getting a mouthpiece … even if he doesn’t want it.

If Primo’s a jobber in here which you have pretty much confirmed, you have to wonder just why he’s involved with this process. Again, surely there are more deserving people. Anyone. Match was as you would expect – pretty good with a win for Kofi. Nothing of real interest here.

Rumble is looking pretty good.

Have to say, I’m happy to see Chavo looking more serious in here, and getting some mic time is definitely a positive thing since he can certainly talk on the mic. The obnoxiousness from Chavo was pretty good here, although I thought him maybe talking himself up and saying his name, which he sems to like to do, would have been good. Still, the mention of the Sweet Chin Music from SmackDown! before Michaels interrupted was well done.

These two getting some good time together in the ring? Can’t say I protest, especially for Chavo, as this really serves as a good way to give him a rub. It goes without saying that this was a good match, and as I said, it did a lot for Chavo. Good to see you making use of these matches, especially for a guy like Chavo, as at least while he’s losing, he’s actually being allowed to look good.

I believe the last time I reviewed a RAW from you was your first, and I remember being really impressed with the emotion in Noble’s promo. This promo was much the same. Underdog stuff characterised well, and adding some great emotion into the promo.

A hot start to this match is good to see, as this is probably the most interesting match (aside from the battle royal), and certainly the most heated on the card. Have to say, while this match was great for Sheamus, showing how ruthless he can be, I’m a bit disappointed in how Noble seemingly seems be blasted into oblivion, because this character you’ve had going for him is a great one, and I’m not sure even he can come back from this. Still, as I said earlier, you write Sheamus well, so him showing how ruthless he can be isn’t a bad thing for him.

Interesting exchange between Miz and Cena, and one I really like, as not only does it get Miz on the show and give a reason for him not being involved here, but with him blaming Bourne, it really seems like their feud can heat right up now. Clever. Cena interrupting was okay too, although I found the way he pushed Miz away to be a little out of character. Perhaps a mention of how he beat Miz last year would have been better. Also not big on him crying to the boss, because that doesn’t seem like Cena either. Liked the Miz part, not so much the Cena part.

Another nice match here, allowing Carlito to look good, even with Orton going through. With all of these matches having been quality, I wish you would have advertised them instead of just the superstars at the start of the show, as you’ve sold the matches short imo. They’ve all done a good job.

Awkward conversation was pretty nice here, really pointing out all of the problems with DX well. A small thing is that I can’t see Trips saying “ain’t”, because he’s just not that type of guy, as his original character in the ‘E dictates. Still, a nice little promo, and something tells me that trouble is on the horizon in the main event for these two.

Nice to see the aggression from Cena right away, although I’m a bit disappointed Chris Masters drew the short stick here by having to face, and subsequently lose to, Cena. The guy is great, imo, and I really want to see someone take advantage of his capabilities and give him a push.

Good to see Swagger getting some time to speak before the battle royal, but really, his promo was just okay. Did its job, but nothing more.

Don’t blame you for wanting to write this out in pretty short fashion. I have to say, the first eliminations kind of disappointed me. For guys who talk themselves up as supposedly being on the same level as Randy Orton, if not better, Legacy were eliminated mighty quick. I don’t mind them being the first eliminations that much, although lasting longer than less than three minutes would have been good for them. Noble distracting Sheamus to cause him to be eliminated is a nice touch and makes sense, while the rivals eliminating one another is clever too. Interesting interaction from DX here in Michaels superkicking Trips, then trying to again only to eliminate Cena. Not sure if Trips is being made out to look like the bad guy here, or why, since Michaels made the first move, but I guess I’ll wait and see. Trips vs. Swagger looks to be a pretty good match for the Rumble. I would have maybe liked to have seen Swagger come from the crowd and make an impact with a gutwrench powerbomb to end the show since this is obviously only a mini-feud, and only has four weeks to gain heat for a blow-off, but I’m not too fussed. DX is obviously the main situation here.

As I said at the start, I felt this show was very much hit and miss, and I feel like you executed things well, making for a hit for mine. You actually caught me off guard in that you did a really good job of progressing a lot of feuds, which I didn’t think you’d be able to do too well with this show. A bit of lack in hype for the Royal Rumble Match, but aside from that, the hype was pretty good. The writing itself was good for the most part too, especially the matches, which were consistently exciting, even if the results did feel very predictable. I know it took you a long time to get this up, but I really thought this was a good effort, and definitely something that indicates how good this thread is looking at the moment. Good stuff.

Hey all. Show is written, I’ll post it tomorrow or so. Feel free to drop comments if you feel like it, though the preview doesn’t give much away for what should be a monster show, especially the end. See you.

This preview was brought to you by Tahoma. The only font that is acceptable in this BTB.

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ECWUnited Center, Chicago, Illinois5th January 2010

The first ECW of a new decade comes from the Windy City itself, Chicago, as ECW moves along the road a little more towards the Wachovia Center, and ECW Invades: Saturday Night’s Main Event in just eleven days’ time.

On Borrowed Time?In just eleven days, Tommy Dreamer will face Zack Ryder in an Extreme Rules match. If Dreamer loses, he will retire from the business for good, and if that’s the case, tonight may be one of his last matches on ECW. He’ll be taking on William Regal – the British Brawler has been in a bad mood as of late, mostly because of his troubles with his former friend Ezekiel Jackson, and partly because he’s always IN a bad mood. Can Dreamer pull out a big win here tonight, or will Regal send a big message to HIS Saturday Night’s Main Event opponent? Either way, when these two seasoned veterans come together, you can be sure we’re in for a great contest.

Youngsters CollideAt the other end of the scale, the young talent is alive and well on ECW. On Friday Night SmackDown, Gregory Helms and Yoshi Tatsu earned themselves a shot at the WWE Unified Tag Team Championships – tonight, Helms takes on one of the Champions in the form of Cody Rhodes. Rhodes and his partner, Ted DiBiase, didn’t think twice about belittling Helms and Tatsu’s chances at claiming the titles last night on Raw – can Helms prove to Rhodes that he’s not to be taken lightly? We shall see.

He’s Gold Standard...Shelton Benjamin had a good week last week, taking Paul Burchill down with Paydirt – his Royal Rumble opponent probably takes him more seriously now, as, no doubt, does the ECW Champion himself, Christian. Tonight, Benjamin faces the young Samoan, Manu. Will Burchill or Christian get involved as we get ever closer to both Saturday Night’s Main Event AND Royal Rumble? Both events will be pivotal in the struggle to claim the ECW Championship, and the build-up to them will be important to the Gold Standard, too. He’ll want the win as always, tonight on ECW.

Anyway seeing how I have been in hiding for the past couple of weeks, I figured I would show here. For now, a few words about Raw and ECW. Sorry for the not big reviews but I figured talking about some things is better than nothing.

Looking over Raw

The qualifier matches were a good idea and I was happy with Trips winning, however the qualifier matches themselves were horrible. All of them except Legacy vs. The World's Strongest Tage Team, and Sheamus vs. Noble felt like Superstar/Main Eventer vs. Jobber...

Jack Swagger promos that were placed in there were all good. Loving your current sig and I do love Swagger as champ in here, especially with the way he has been on the mic as of late.

Also the Royal Rumble card looks really, really stacked. I'm liking alot of the matches, so I can't wait to see who you add in the Rumble match.

As for ECW:

Cody Rhodes on ECW, I like it so I'm really excited to read that match. Some mic time for him please

Also the Katie Lea and Christian angle you had working I really expect to see alot more with that. Maybe Paul confronts Katie since he didn't do it last time.

Also I expect Shelton to job out Manu.

Anyway I know its not much but I'll still be popping in whenever I can. Good luck I'll try to come around here more.

Show looks pretty good here, man. I have to say, I quite like what you've done with ECW thus far, and this looks no different. Some good matches for sure, with Cody vs. Helms and Shelton vs. Manu both set to no doubt be pretty great. Not so mjuch sold on Dreamer wrestling, but at least he's in there with Regal.

As you get closer to SNME, it looks like you're really turning up the heat in some feuds. Looking forward to this show hopefully delivering.

Big shout outs to the always amazing BkB, and of course RatedRKO31. Also a sneaky thanks to Klebold, who I’m fairly sure has read just about every show I’ve put out . Thanks, bud, and thanks to anyone else who reads, whether they comment or not.

I would mention if at any point you find any of my decisions a bit odd here, it’s probably part of a storyline. I’ve made sure with this show as much as possible that every decision I make pertains to advancing a storyline in some way – I’m happy to say that there’s no, if any wasted air time on the show. This works with the ending, especially, which is a bit of clusterfuck, admittedly, but it was intentional, as should become apparent when a certain someone begins to talk. You’ll understand when you read it, I suppose.

Enjoy, all.

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ECWUnited Center, Chicago, Illinois5th January 2010

We see a brief highlights package from last week, as Paul Burchill and Zack Ryder beat ECW Champion Christian and Tommy Dreamer in tag team action, with Burchill pinning his Rumble opponent in Captain Charisma. As Dreamer chases Ryder to the back, the camera shows Katie Lea, in slow motion, kneeling by Christian’s fallen body, and Paul’s expression as he stares in anger at his sister, having possibly seen her out of the corner of his eye. Before Paul can say anything, Shelton Benjamin arrives, and floors the Ripper with Paydirt, leaving the Gold Standard standing tall to end ECW...

We sweep into the ECW opening video, before we hit the United Center, where purple, stunning fireworks explode all over the stage. The camera sweeps over the audience, who are hooting, yelling and cheering in various fashions, before we head to ringside, where we see Todd Grisham, sitting alongside Byron Saxton.

Grisham: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, I’m Todd Grisham – you’re watching ECW right here on SyFy! With me tonight is Byron Saxton... Byron, we have a great show in store.

Saxton: You don’t have to tell me, Todd, it’s gonna be a fantastic one tonight.

Grisham: Well, the highlight of our show tonight is in our Main Event – the Heart and Soul of ECW, Tommy Dreamer, taking on William Regal. Both men have huge matches coming up soon at ECW Invades: Saturday Night’s Main Event, when Dreamer will put his career on the line against Zack Ryder, and Regal will face his former friend and associate, Ezekiel Jackson.

AIN’T NO STOPPIN’ ME, NAAAAAAAW!!!

A big cheer goes up for Shelton Benjamin, who steps out into the United Center, enjoying his strong reaction. He points out at the crowd with a grin, and begins to jog down the ramp, as a bell chimes.

Mayhew: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Orangeburg, South Carolina, weighing in at 245 pounds... the Gold Standard... Shelton Benjamin!

Another big cheer can be heard for Shelton, who slides into the ring.

Grisham: This man laid out his Royal Rumble opponent last week in the form of Paul Burchill, making a huge statement – also last week, he said to Savannah backstage that he was shocked that Burchill and Christian had ‘forgotten about him’, Byron.

Saxton: What can I say, Todd. If you don’t do anything, you don’t get noticed. About time Shelton grew a pair and made his mark.

Benjamin poses on a couple of the turnbuckles, then turns to face the ramp – a heavy drum beat begins, and out comes Manu, scowling.

Mayhew: And his opponent... from Samoa, weighing in at 290 pounds... Manu!

The Samoan starts to wander down the ramp, staring coldly at Shelton, whose mouth curls with the thrill of impending competition.

Grisham: Well, Manu’s been on a bit of a losing streak recently, and Shelton Benjamin will want to take full advantage of that, to prove that he’s worthy of being in that ECW Title match at Royal Rumble.

Saxton: Hey, don’t count out Manu though, Todd. He’s a big man, he’s talented, and he comes from the legendary family which also has guys like the Wild Samoans. He could tear Shelton’s head off tonight, for all we know.

Manu gets in the ring, and raises his fists at Shelton with a serious expression. The Gold Standard raises his, smirking, almost joking about with the Samoan – he drops his fists, and bounces on the balls of his feet. He turns to raise a fist to the audience, who give him another big pop – he smiles, then turns back to face Manu, who couldn’t care less about the reaction Shelton gets. The referee checks both men are good to go, then rings the bell.

Match 1Manu vs Shelton Benjamin

At the four minute mark, Manu has mounted Benjamin, and is hitting him relentlessly with right hands – the referee begins the count, and he reaches four before the Samoan grunts, and gets up, leaving Shelton to grimace on the mat. The Gold Standard forces himself to his feet... and gets floored by a Big Boot from Manu! Shelton crunches back to the canvas, and Manu drops to cover... 1... 2... but the Gold Standard kicks out! The crowd cheers for Benjamin, who takes encouragement from the audience as Manu pulls him to his feet, lashing out with a knee to the gut, and takes a step back, before he lashes out with a big kick – but Manu catches it! Shelton hops about on his other leg, regaining his balance, before he nails Manu with the Dragon Whip! The crowd roars for the great move, and Manu is floored immediately, taken completely off guard! Shelton instantly heads for the turnbuckle as he gets up, and goes up top – Manu rises... AND SHELTON CLOCKS HIM IN THE FACE WITH A HUGE MISSILE DROPKICK! The Gold Standard scrambles to cover the dazed Samoan... 1... 2... kickout from the big man!

Shelton beats the mat in utter frustration, and he crouches in the corner, waiting to deliver some Paydirt, possibly? Manu rises, and Benjamin goes for just that, leaping up – only for the Samoan to push him away, meaning the Gold Standard crashes to the mat hard! Benjamin is back up, holding his back tenderly... and Manu scoops him up, before driving him down with a Backbreaker! Benjamin yells out on the mat, pain across his face, and Manu immediately rolls him into the cover... 1... 2... NO! Benjamin kicks out determinedly! Manu doesn’t give up, though, yanking Shelton to his feet, and raising him up into the Oklahoma... but the Gold Standard escapes out the back door as Manu was thinking Snake Eyes, and shoves the Samoan straight into the turnbuckle! The crowd groans as Manu collides with the turnbuckle, before turning round, dazed... and Benjamin turns on the style, charging for the corner, and landing a massive Stinger Splash to the Samoan! The crowd cheers, and as Manu staggers into the centre of the ring, dizzy, Shelton flings himself to the middle rope, springboarding backwards... AND FLOORING MANU WITH AN INSANE SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT! The crowd goes crazy for the unbelievable move, and Benjamin is back on his feet, roaring like an animal! The crowd immediately gets behind him, roaring his name – Manu struggles to his feet, barely knowing where he is, so Shelton charges in... AND CONNECTS WITH PAYDIRT!!! The crowd lets out a monumental victory cheer, and the Gold Standard will make the elementary cover... 1... 2... 3!

Winner: Shelton Benjamin

Match Time: 6:18

We hear Benjamin’s music over the top of the roaring crowd, and the Gold Standard is on his feet in an instant, pumping his arms like a man possessed! The referee grabs his wrist to raise his arm, and Benjamin smiles out at the crowd, beating his chest a little with his spare arm – the crowd can only chant his name, having been treated to a comprehensive performance tonight!

Grisham: Shelton Benjamin with a big win here tonight to open ECW!

Saxton: For someone who’s supposedly ‘the best pure athlete in the WWE’, he sure took his time to win, Todd. Are we sure he’s ready to have an ECW Championship match?

As Benjamin poses on one of the turnbuckles, his music is suddenly cut off, and replaced by that of Paul Burchill’s! The crowd boos intensely as the Ripper strides out in a full length trench coat, and a look of anger on his face as he scowls down the ramp at Shelton, who turns to face the Englishman, frowning.

Grisham: This can’t be good.

Saxton: You’re wrong there, Todd. This is great! Paul Burchill’s gonna get his revenge for last week, I just know it!

Burchill begins to make his way down the ramp, but suddenly he stops, turning back to the stage, where a nervous-looking Katie Lea suddenly comes out from behind the curtain, looking really uncomfortable. She tentatively joins her brother halfway down the ramp, and looks at him momentarily before averting her gaze, as if ashamed. Burchill turns away, and heads for the ring – the camera zooms in on Shelton’s confused expression before it shows the Ripper getting in the ring. The Englishman grabs a mic from ringside, then stands across from Benjamin, frowning. Katie Lea slowly gets in the ring, and hovers behind Paul, arms crossed across her stomach in a nervous stance. As Burchill’s music subsides, the Ripper takes a step towards the frowning Gold Standard, raising a finger as he talks...

Burchill: ...you.

Benjamin tilts his head upwards a little.

Burchill: Who the hell do you think you are?

Boos. The Ripper looks almost confused. Benjamin leans against the turnbuckle.

Burchill: I mean, you come down to the ring after my match... and you hit me with your little move? What?

Benjamin smirks a little, but Burchill just frowns more.

Burchill: Didn’t we go through this a few weeks ago, Shelton? We got into a fight... and you ended up going through a table.

Boos for Burchill’s selective memory.

Burchill: So why don’t mind your own damn business... cause if you try and get involved in mine, I’ll make damn sure you don’t make it to Saturday Night’s Main Event, never mind Royal Rumble.

More boos for the Englishman. Shelton beckons for a mic, and he quickly gets one. He immediately steps into the middle of the ring, barely a metre from Burchill.

Benjamin: I don’t care, Paul.

A big cheer goes up, and Burchill scowls.

Benjamin: Nah, ya see, I don’t care about you thinkin’ you can take me out, cause you can’t. And I don’t care about you tryin’ to tell me what I can and can’t do, either.

The crowd cheers.

Benjamin: At Royal Rumble? I’m gonna be claimin’ the ECW Championship that I’ve always wanted. And you and Christian forgettin’ about me... well, that’s not gonna happen, Paul. Because I’m here to stay.

Another cheer goes up.

Benjamin: And hey, try lookin’ to your own camp, Paul. I get the feelin’... that boy, I’m the least of your problems.

Benjamin slowly raises a finger, and points to Katie Lea, who looks like she’s just seen a ghost as Paul turns his head to look at her. The crowd lets out a big mixed reaction, and the Ripper seethes, staring a hole through his sister, whose eyes are wide. Burchill tilts his head, then spins to face the Gold Standard:

Burchill: You know what, Benjamin? I have no problems! NONE! Cause at Saturday Night’s Main Event, me and my partner... we’re gonna tear you to shreds. And then all your little talk, all your little attacks that make you think you stand a chance against ME... it’ll all be gone. GONE.

The crowd boos as Burchill takes another step towards Benjamin, who doesn’t move a muscle.

Burchill: And I don’t care if your partner is God himself... you’re gonna be left in a hospital bed, courtesy of the Ripper, Paul Burchill. And then, we can forget about you. Because you’re nothing. You’re a nobody. You’re not at my level, and you will never win the ECW Championship.

Burchill smirks.

Burchill: Not while I’m around.

The crowd boos Burchill massively. As the Ripper turns around to leave, his sister rushing to open the ropes for him, Benjamin raises his mic one more time.

Benjamin: Paul?

Burchill turns, glowering.

Benjamin: You asked me... who do I think I am?

Burchill tilts his head, and, mic-less, nods his head, mouthing ‘Yeah. Who do you think you are?’. Benjamin takes a step towards him.

Benjamin: I’m the Gold Standard, Shelton Benjamin. Learn it.

-AND SHELTON SLAPS BURCHILL ROUND THE FACE! The crowd goes wild, and the Ripper is furious! Benjamin looks straight at the red-faced Burchill – WHO IMMEDIATELY DECKS THE GOLD STANDARD WITH A GIANT SPEAR, AND STARTS PUMMELING HIM WITH LEFTS AND RIGHTS! The crowd comes alive with a ton of noise, and Benjamin can only shield himself from this flurry of offence from Paul Burchill, who has completely lost it! Katie Lea looks horrified in the corner of the ring, and her brother stands, flinging his coat off, and out of the ring! Benjamin tries to struggle to his feet, but he’s tired from his match, and suddenly picking a fight with the Ripper doesn’t seem like such a good idea!

Burchill turns back to Benjamin, and as the Gold Standard begins to get up, Burchill lays him out with a huge boot to his face! Benjamin is flattened again, pain across his face, and Burchill scowls down at him, seething. The crowd boos the Englishman, who drops to the mat beside Shelton, and starts saying ‘You’re nothing... you’re nothing.’ Benjamin looks up at him, clearly in pain... AND SLAPS THE ENGLISHMAN AGAIN! Burchill reels back, stunned that Benjamin would do it again, and the crowd goes crazy! Benjamin leaps to his feet, and suddenly he’s there in front of Burchill, feeding him right hands, one after the other! Burchill falls back to the ropes... and the Gold Standard lays him out with a Powerslam on his return! The crowd goes wild, and Benjamin panders to them, putting his arms wide, and yelling out! He turns to pull Burchill to his feet... BUT THE RIPPER SWINGS AN ARM UPWARDS INTO BENJAMIN’S GROIN WITH THE LOW BLOW!

The crowd craps all over Burchill, who spits the bad taste from his mouth as he stands, while the Gold Standard crumples to the mat, holding his family jewels. Burchill grabs Benjamin’s head in fury, hooks the arms... AND DRIVES BENJAMIN DOWN WITH THE CURB STOMP! The crowd groans with the impact, and as Burchill moves away, there is a small smirk on his face. His music begins to play, and he looks down at Benjamin, before shouting out at the crowd ‘HE’S NOTHING! I’M THE REAL DEAL! ME! ME!’

Grisham: A heated exchange between Paul Burchill and Shelton Benjamin tonight, and it’s fair to say, Shelton can’t be feeling too good right now, especially not with the way Burchill got the upper hand there.

Saxton: Shelton disrespected the Ripper, Todd, so he paid for it. Burchill will do that to ya, cause he’s such a ruthless person. You gotta learn to respect your betters, you know?

As Burchill leaves the ring, his sister hurrying along in tow, ECW goes to a break.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

As ECW returns, we are backstage, where we see none other than Randy Orton, standing in front of the small televisions set up backstage. The crowd boos the surprise appearance of the Viper, who folds his arms, and watches silently. We cut to the arena.

Grisham: Raw’s Randy Orton is in the United Center tonight, and I can only assume the reasoning is about to become apparent.

IT’S A NEW DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!

The crowd boos Legacy, who come striding out on to the stage, smirking, and their Unified Tag Team belts over their shoulders. The bell chimes.

Mayhew: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, accompanied by Ted DiBiase... from Charlotte, North Carolina, weighing in at 223 pounds... he is one half of the WWE Unified Tag Team Champions... Cody Rhodes!

Rhodes and DiBiase start to stride down the ramp, with Rhodes the man to lead the way.

Grisham: Neither Cody Rhodes or Ted DiBiase could quite manage to win themselves a shot at the WWE Championship last night on Raw, but they’re here tonight, and Rhodes will be in action against Gregory Helms.

Saxton: I don’t think you’re looking at the big picture here, Todd. Ted and Cody performed admirably last night – they’re the future of this business, and they proved it.

Rhodes gets in the ring, while DiBiase leans against the apron. Rhodes’ music subsides, and he stands in the ring for a moment silently, before glancing at the Million Dollar Prince at ringside, and deciding that he’s gonna have to talk a bit. He holds out a hand to ringside, and before long, he’s handed a mic. The boos come down at the sight of Rhodes holding a mic, and the second-generation superstar, with his title belts across him in an ‘X’ shape as usual, begins to stride about the ring as he begins to talk.

Rhodes: Now, as much as Ted and I would like to get off this crappy brand as soon as possible...

Boos. Rhodes pauses so the camera can catch it.

Rhodes: ...some things just... well, they just gotta be said. Gregory Helms and Yoshi Tatsu are a joke. A joke.

More boos. Rhodes gestures with his free hand.

Rhodes: Now, on one hand you have this guy who’s been hidin’ behind a mask for most of his... well, lacklustre career...

Rhodes’ insulting of Helms gets him some more decent heat.

Rhodes: And on the other hand, some guy from Japan, with no talent, and... can’t speak English. How suckish is that? Hey, welcome to America, kid. We speak a REAL language here. So why don’t you either learn it, or get out, huh?

Rhodes: These Tag Team Championships? They make us the best on OUR brand, on THIS petty excuse for a brand, and in this entire damn company.

The crowd boos, and we see a quick shot of Randy Orton watching backstage, before skipping back to Rhodes.

Rhodes: So tonight, I’ll just prove that a little bit more... by beating Greg Helms into the ground, and proving that Ted and I – we’re not losing these titles any time soon.

As Rhodes hands his mic to ringside, and DiBiase tells him just how good his speech was, we hear some music begin, kicked off by the iconic phrase:

LISTEN...

The crowd pops nicely for Gregory Helms, who comes out from behind the curtain, frowning down at Rhodes. Yoshi Tatsu springs out beside him, his sunny exterior somewhat dampened by Rhodes’ comments.

Mayhew: And his opponent! Accompanied by Yoshi Tatsu... from Smithfield, North Carolina, weighing in at 215 pounds... Gregory Helms!

Grisham: And here come the men I like to call... Hurri-Tatsu.

Saxton: What? Holy crap, Todd, that name sucks about as much as they do. And that's saying something.

Helms and Tatsu charge down the ramp, slapping the hands of the fans, before Helms slides in the ring. He stands to face Rhodes, who frowns, and raises his titles high above his head in a deliberate show of arrogance. Helms smirks, before pulling off his beanie hat, and flinging it far into the crowd. Tatsu hangs about the apron, silently watching his friend as he gears up for a fight. Rhodes hands his titles to ringside, before the bell chimes to signal the start of the bout.

Match 2Cody Rhodes vs Gregory Helms

Seeing as these guys are pretty decent wrestlers, they have a good one here. As we join the action at six or so minutes in, Rhodes has Helms in a headlock in the middle of the ring. The crowd gets behind Helms a bit, and he manages to take them both to the ropes, before ejecting Rhodes off to the other side – the Tag Team Champion hits the ropes and charges, but Helms leaps into the air, taking Rhodes out with a Leg Lariat! The crowd cheers, but both men are quickly back up... so Helms does it again! Helms hooks a leg... 1... 2... but Rhodes kicks out. Helms bounces on the balls of his feet a bit as he gets up, and Rhodes struggles back up, straight into a stiff kick to the stomach from Helms... who then heads for the ropes, and flings himself over Rhodes, pulling him down with the Sunset Flip... 1... 2... but Rhodes kicks out again! DiBiase yells some encouragement from ringside, and Rhodes rolls from the ring – before he starts to have a team talk with his partner! The crowd boos, and Helms sharply looks at Tatsu, who blinks, confused. Helms takes the initiative, heading for the ropes... BEFORE HE TAKES BOTH MEMBERS OF LEGACY OUT WITH A BASEBALL SLIDE! The crowd applauds as Rhodes and DiBiase crumple to the outside floor, completely stunned!

The momentum carries Helms out too, and stands over Rhodes, smirking. Eventually, Rhodes finds the ring steps, and starts to pull himself up... so Helms gets up on the announce table! Rhodes turns around, and Helms soars off... but the Tag Team Champion lashes out with a boot, catching Helms in the gut, before he rams his head into the apron! The crowd groans with the impact, and Helms reels off, holding his head. Rhodes grabs him again, and forces him into the ring, while DiBiase seethes on the outside, still stinging from the Baseball Slide. As the referee’s count hits six, Rhodes rolls into the ring, and picks Helms up, before laying him out with a basic Russian Legsweep. Rhodes doesn’t look for the cover, instead waiting for Helms to get up again... he does, albeit more slowly, and Rhodes sends him to the turnbuckle, following up – but Helms grabs the top rope, and launches himself backwards over Rhodes’ head, leaving Rhodes in no man’s land between Helms and the turnbuckle... so Helms starts rocking the Tag Team Champion with right hands, furiously trying to wear him down! Rhodes can only shield his face, so Helms begins to use his feet, lashing out with some hard kicks! Rhodes slips further and further down the turnbuckle, into a seated position... so Helms takes a step back, and drives both feet into Cody’s chest with a Low-Angle Dropkick!

The crowd cheers, and Helms rolls backwards, standing up in the centre of the ring, smiling! DiBiase yells some more at a dazed Rhodes in the corner, who struggles up, and staggers into the centre of the ring, dizzy. Helms heads for the ropes, and takes advantage with a big Sleeper Slam! The crowd cheers for the impressive move, and Helms covers Rhodes’ unmoving body... 1... 2... 3-NO! They thought that was it, but Rhodes kicks out! Helms’ eyes are wide in shock, and he tries to pull Rhodes back to his feet... only for Rhodes to stun him with the Small Package! 1... 2... Helms kicks out! The crowd cheers for Helms, who gets up, stunned! Rhodes is back up, too, and Helms darts in, but Rhodes suddenly drills him into the mat with a massive Flowing DDT! The crowd groans with the impact, and Rhodes covers with a smirk... 1... 2... 3-NO! SHOULDER UP! A smatter of applause goes up around the arena for the spirited Helms, who struggles back to his feet to face a fuming Cody Rhodes... and lays him out with a Jumping Enzuigiri! The crowd goes crazy for Helms’ spirit, and the man himself cries out at the crowd, adrenaline pumping through his veins – GORE!!! RHYNO GORES THE HELL OUT OF GREGORY HELMS – WHERE DID HE COME FROM? The crowd boos the Man Beast, who stands above Helms, beating his chest like a crazed animal! It was in full view of the referee, who immediately shakes his head, and calls for the bell.

Winner: Gregory Helms (by DQ)

Match Time: 9:20

As Helms holds his gut on the floor, the crowd boos Rhyno, while Rhodes and DiBiase regroup on the outside, looking at Rhyno with stunned expressions. Rhyno takes another step towards Helms on the floor, and immediately, Yoshi Tatsu is on the scene, sliding into the ring to protect his partner! Tatsu spreads his arms wide and stares down the Man Beast, who is almost surprised that the young Japanese Superstar has the guts to stand up to him! Tatsu doesn’t say a word, but the crowd quickly get behind him, chanting ‘Yoshi! Yoshi!’, and soon, Rhyno scowls, and leaves the ring to a big mixed reaction. He storms up the ramp as Yoshi kneels down to check on Helms, who is still clutching his ribs as if they’re damaged. ECW goes to a break.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

As ECW returns, we’re backstage, where we see Katie Lea rushing frantically about, eyes wide as if worried. She rushes up to a huddle of random workers, some sitting on boxes, taking a break.

Katie Lea: Have any of you seen my brother?

The men all shake their heads, and a couple mumble half-hearted apologies. Katie immediately runs a hand through her hair, and hurries away from them, the camera following her. Suddenly, she comes to a stop, looking at someone just out of shot, and she looks down, tongue in cheek. She opens her mouth to speak, but she can’t. The camera zooms out a little to show the ECW Champion, Christian, who gets the biggest pop of the night. He looks concerned that Katie is. She goes to walk away, but Christian softly takes her arm. She turns back to face him, eyes wide.

Christian: Talk to me.

Katie licks her lips a little, and looks around for a moment, before she sighs out of exasperation, and finally speaks.

Katie Lea: It’s Paul. I can’t find him anywhere, and he’s in a really bad mood after what happened earlier. He just... he just...

She can’t speak anymore. Her eyes become teary for a moment. Christian opens his mouth to speak, quietly.

Christian: Why don’t-

Katie Lea: NO!

Christian looks taken aback. Tears begin to stream down Katie Lea’s face, and she puts a hand on her own face. She begins to shiver, and Christian tilts his head, puzzled and confused.

She turns to leave again, but once again, Christian takes her arm. She looks back at him again.

Katie Lea: Did you see... what he did... to... to-

Words fail her again. Knowing she’s referring to Burchill beating down Shelton Benjamin, Christian nods. Tears continue to fall down the face of the English Diva. She turns to leave for a third time, and once more, the ECW Champion finds his hand on her upper arm. She pauses, as if comtemplating something, but she doesn’t look at him this time. Suddenly, she shakes it free, and walks out of the shot, leaving Captain Charisma to stare after her, a puzzled expression on his face.

We cut elsewhere, where Savannah is standing with a mic.

Savannah:Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guest at this time... the War Machine, Rhyno!

The crowd boos as Rhyno steps into shot, smirking into the distance.

Savannah:Now, Rhyno... just now you interfered with Gregory Helms’ match – can you give some reasoning behind what you did?

Rhyno stares a hole through Savannah as the mic comes his way. He chuckles suddenly.

Rhyno: Look. Gregory Helms is a tiny, worthless man. He’s pathetic.

The crowd boos.

Rhyno: I can’t believe he’s lasted this long. I returned to ECW seven weeks ago to make my mark, and I’d say I have.

More boos.

Rhyno: But Helms has been a thorn in my side, a pain in my ass. So I want to squash him like the bug he is, once and for all. The only reason I haven’t already, is because we haven’t faced off one-on-one.

The War Machine smirks.

Rhyno: So that’s just what I want. A match. One-on-one. You can’t hide behind your puny partner, either. He’s lucky I spared him today.

Boos.

Rhyno: At Saturday Night’s Main Event... me versus you, Helms. If you got the guts to step inside the ring... with the Man Beast.

Rhyno lets out another dark chuckle, then turns to leave the picture. The crowd boos him as he does, and Savannah raises a disapproving eyebrow.

We cut back to the arena, where the bell rings. The music of Tommy Dreamer starts up, and the crowd goes crazy! The whole United Center gets to its feet, roaring for the Heart and Soul of ECW as he arrives!

Mayhew: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Yonkers, New York, weighing in at 265 pounds... Tommy Dreamer!

Another big cheer goes up for the Innovator of Violence, who begins to make his way down the ramp, slapping the hands of the fans at ringside, and shaking the hand of an eager young fan wearing an ECW t-shirt, similar to himself. How nice.

Grisham: A giant challenge from Rhyno to Gregory Helms just now, but right now, let’s talk about this man. Tommy Dreamer. He’s faced many challenges in his illustrious career, but in just 11 days, he faces his biggest. He will face Zack Ryder, in an Extreme Rules match, where if he loses, he will retire from the business.

Saxton: Big implications, Todd. And in his heyday, maybe he could have got the job done, right? Nowadays? I don’t see it happening.

Dreamer gets in the ring, and gets up on one of the turnbuckles. He spreads his arms wide, enjoying the exhilaration of competing in front of the thousands of fans. He gets down, and awaits his opponent.

The pompous music of William Regal begins, and the 2008 King of the Ring arrives in his usual robe, looking out at the arena as if they all have rabies or something. At his side is Vladimir Kozlov, who looks blankly at Dreamer.

Mayhew: And his opponent, accompanied by Vladimir Kozlov, from Blackpool, England, weighing in at 240 pounds... William Regal!

Regal strides down the ramp, his body language portraying his very cold personality. He gets up on the apron, and swings himself into the ring, where he takes off his robe, and flings it to ringside.

Grisham: The British Brawler is well known for his brutal in-ring ability as an extremely efficient striking and submission specialist – he’ll face his former friend and associate, Ezekiel Jackson, at Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Saxton: And for those reasons, both Big Zeke and Tommy Dreamer there, are gonna lose, the way I see it. William Regal doesn’t mess around, Todd. Blink and you might miss this one.

Regal and Dreamer step into the middle of the ring, while Kozlov places two hands on the apron, and mumbles something at Regal, who looks at him, then back at Dreamer. The bell sounds, and Regal and Dreamer immediately lock up.

Match 3Tommy Dreamer vs William Regal

Early on, Dreamer gets the crowd going with some nice moves, like a few Shoulder Blocks to floor the Englishman, and an impressive Belly-to-Back Suplex. A bit later, Regal charges at Dreamer, and the Innovator of Violence dumps him to the outside with a Back Body Drop. At this point, ECW goes to a break.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

As ECW returned, Regal had Dreamer in the inevitable rest hold, but we’ll skip forward from there a bit, joining the action around seven minutes from the beginning of the match-up. Regal has Dreamer in an Abdominal Stretch, and is really making sure he inflicts some damage to the Heart and Soul of ECW by applying as much pressure as possible. However, the crowd starts to clap, and Dreamer is heartened by their support – he lashes out with his free arm, and finds the mark, as he connects with Regal’s nose! The Englishman just grunts, and applies the hold a bit tighter... but Dreamer fires another left hand, and this time Regal reels a bit! The crowd cheers, and suddenly Dreamer comes alive, ramming his left fist into Regal’s face over and over, until finally, the British Brawler has to break the hold, and the Heart and Soul of ECW makes his escape! Regal touches his nose tenderly, then turns round... into a massive Big Boot from Dreamer! The Innovator of Violence hooks a leg... 1... 2... kickout by Regal!

Dreamer rolls away, and stands in the corner, waiting for Regal to get up... he does, and Dreamer fires with a right hand... only for Regal to brush it away, and lash out with his natural left, connecting with Dreamer’s jaw, and flooring him! Dreamer gets back up – AND REGAL LAYS HIM OUT WITH A STUNNING EXPLODER SUPLEX, DRIVING HIM INTO THE CANVAS HARD! The crowd groans with the impact, and Regal covers... 1... 2... but Dreamer kicks out! The crowd cheers, and the referee signals ‘2!’ to the timekeeper at ringside. Dreamer struggles up, and Regal swings him down to the mat with an Arm Wringer, before he heads for the ropes, and drives his elbow downwards with the Elbow Drop... nobody’s home! Dreamer rolls out of the way, and Regal hits the canvas! Both men are up immediately, and Regal grabs Dreamer’s wrist, and looks to send him to the corner... but Dreamer sets his feet, and yanks the Englishman back towards him, pulling him into a sweeping Belly-to-Belly Suplex! That’s good wrestling! The crowd cheers wildly, and the Heart and Soul of ECW makes the cover... 1... 2... but Regal kicks out!

Regal struggles to his feet, aided by the ropes, and rests against the turnbuckle for a moment... but Dreamer is right on top of him, as he fires a punch to the Englishman’s gut. Regal comes reeling out of the corner, and Dreamer finds the ropes, propelling himself at Regal – and driving him to the mat with a Running Bulldog! The crowd cheers, and Dreamer covers again... 1... 2... but Regal gets a shoulder up! Dreamer gets up, but he takes a moment from his offence... he looks around the arena, and the ECW faithful show him love – so he takes his fist, and raises it high! The crowd goes crazy, and as Dreamer swings it down on to the logo on his shirt, the audience cries along with him... ‘E... C... W!’ The crowd applauds, and Regal gets up, frowning... and Dreamer picks him up, thinking TommyHawk... but Regal slips out... AND DECKS HIM WITH A MASSIVE LEFT HAND! Dreamer goes down, and Regal stands above him, scowling as the crowd boos.

Regal picks Dreamer to his feet, and drags him up into the air, bringing him down spectacularly with the Shoulder Breaker! The crowd groans with the brutal-looking move, and Dreamer collapses on the mat, clearly pained. Regal covers... 1... 2... 3-NO! DREAMER KICKS OUT! The crowd cheers, heartened, and Dreamer struggles back to his feet, shaking the cobwebs away, and moving his shoulder to prove to Regal he can still use it. The British Brawler flings a left hand, but Dreamer ducks under it, and hits a Low-Angle Dropkick to the Englishman’s knee! Regal hops on one leg, pained, and Dreamer puts him in the front facelock... only for Regal to read him like a book, and spin out of the hold – before grabbing Dreamer from behind, hooking a leg, and laying him out with a Regal-plex! Regal stays in the pinning position on landing... 1... 2... 3-NO!!! DREAMER SOMEHOW KICKED OUT! The crowd goes crazy – how the hell did Dreamer find a way out of that? It was vicious! Regal has a fit, going red in the face! He gets to his feet, fuming, and points to his knee for the whole crowd to see! The audience boo him wildly, and he crouches, waiting for Dreamer to get up... he does, and Regal charges in, thinking Knee Trembler... only for Dreamer to dive under the knee, and pop up the other side – TO PULL REGAL DOWN WITH THE SHOCK SCHOOL BOY... 1... 2... 3!!! Dreamer wins the hard-fought one!

Winner: Tommy Dreamer

Match Time: 11:03

Dreamer is jubilant, and so is the crowd! A ‘TOMMY! TOMMY!’ chant breaks out, and the Innovator of Violence heads up to the top turnbuckle, raising his arms out to embrace the masses! He thumps the ECW logo on his chest, totally consumed by adrenaline and exhilaration!

Grisham: What a performance by Tommy Dreamer! That will send a huge message to Zack Ryder ahead of that match in 11 days’ time!

Saxton: William Regal was cheated! What an underhanded way to win! This is a joke!

A furious William Regal is joined in the ring by Vladimir Kozlov, and the pair mutter at each other – Regal’s face is red with anger and embarrassment. Dreamer can only point out at the crowd, who continue to chant his name... he decides to go thank the fans on the other side, so he gets down... AND KOZLOV CRUNCHES THROUGH HIM WITH THE BATTERING RAM! The crowd boos the hell out of the Moscow Mauler, who looks down at Dreamer, who is now on the mat, yelling out in agony! Regal joins Kozlov, and nods at him, a small smirk beginning to appear on his face. They pull Dreamer into the centre of the ring, and Kozlov props a dazed and pained Dreamer up... SO REGAL CAN NAIL HIM WITH THE KNEE TREMBLER! The crowd is going insane with all sorts of heat and jeers, and Dreamer is practically unconscious on the mat!

Regal raises an arm with a cocky smile, attracting more boos, before he looks down at Dreamer, and figures he hasn’t given enough payback for Dreamer’s win over him. He points down at him to Kozlov, and the Russian nods – he goes to pick him up... BUT THE CROWD GOES WILD, BECAUSE HERE COMES EZEKIEL JACKSON! Regal frantically slaps Kozlov on the arm, and the Russian turns to the ramp – FAR TOO LATE, BECAUSE BIG ZEKE IS ALREADY IN THE RING, AND HE DROPS THE MOSCOW MAULER WITH A HUGE RIGHT HAND! Kozlov goes down, and rolls from the ring, so Regal tries his luck with a left hand, but Zeke ducks it, and grabs his enemy by the throat! The crowd roars for justice to be served, but Regal fights out with some elbows to the head, and heads for the ropes... but Jackson hits him in the stomach with a big hand, before draping an arm across his chest... AND DROPPING HIS ENEMY WITH THE URA-NAGE! The crowd roars, as does Big Zeke, letting out all his emotions, before helping Tommy Dreamer back to his feet...

OHHHHHHH, RADIOOO, TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU KNOOOOW...

The crowd boos insanely, and Zeke and Dreamer turn to the ramp, Jackson having to prop Dreamer up due to his exhaustion... BUT ZACK RYDER COMES FROM THE CROWD WITH A STEEL CHAIR, AND GETS IN THE RING! The crowd goes absolutely crazy, and Zeke turns around... BOOM!!! MASSIVE CHAIRSHOT TO THE SKULL FROM RYDER TO JACKSON! Big Zeke goes down, and Dreamer falls to the floor, barely conscious anyway! Ryder lets out a massive ‘WOO WOO WOO! YOU KNOW IT!’ before unleashing chairshot after chairshot on Dreamer on the mat! It’s carnage! The crowd boos the hell out of Ryder, who just keeps swinging, breaking Dreamer into loads of little pieces! The camera shows someone in the crowd shielding their child’s eyes – Zack Ryder is out of his mind! The chair becomes bent beyond use, and he tosses it from the ring, before dropping to all fours, and yelling in the face of the unconscious Tommy Dreamer!

As Grisham puts over just how much of a sick bastard Ryder is, and Saxton praises him, Ryder’s eyes light up. He calls to Regal and Kozlov on the outside, who look up at him, both still shaking the cobwebs out from Jackson’s attack on them. He says something to them, and they hesitate, before noticing Jackson on the outside floor, barely conscious, and realising Ryder has done them a favour, so the favour should be returned. Regal looks under the ring... AND FINDS A TABLE FOR RYDER! The crowd boos as the Englishman slides it into the ring, and he and Kozlov join the Long Island Loudmouth in the ring! Ryder smirks as the crowd boos intensely, and quickly, he sets up the table, before propping Dreamer on to it – the heat is unimaginable! Ryder clambers up on to the top turnbuckle... and tells Regal and Kozlov to hold down Dreamer, not that it’s necessary! The crowd boos the crap out of Ryder, who points down at the Innovator of Violence, saying something that we can’t hear! Ryder bends his knees to launch... BUT THE ARENA TURNS GOLD!

...GO!

THE CROWD GOES APESHIT! RYDER LOOKS TO THE RAMP IN UTTER HORROR – BECAUSE HERE COMES CHRISTIAN!!! The ECW Champion comes hurtling out from the back, and charges down the ramp! Ryder gets off the turnbuckle in shock, and Christian slides into the ring... Regal darts in – AND GETS DECKED BY A MASSIVE RIGHT HAND FROM THE ECW CHAMP! The Englishman rolls from the ring, and Kozlov charges at Christian... WHO PULLS DOWN THE TOP ROPE, SENDING THE RUSSIAN HURTLING OVER! This just leaves Ryder, who goes furiously for Christian, red in the face... BUT HE GETS A BOOT TO THE GUT, AND HIS ARMS HOOKED... KILLSWITCH TO RYDER!!! Ryder rolls from the ring – it’s utter carnage on ECW!

Christian rushes over to help Dreamer off the table, while the crowd chant his name – Christian manages to revive the Innovator of Violence, who slowly comes around, much to the fury of Ryder on the outside, who has a fit! Ryder puts half his body in the ring, but Christian takes a step towards him, and the Long Island Loudmouth scurries backwards! Ezekiel Jackson comes to, and rests against the security barricade, while his enemies in Regal and Kozlov have an exhausted team talk by the announce tables. Christian continues to help Dreamer out, and the crowd chant Christian’s name, thinking that’s it...

BUT IT’S NOT, BECAUSE PAUL BURCHILL’S MUSIC HITS! The heat is huge from the crowd, and Christian, Dreamer, Kozlov, Regal, Jackson, and Ryder all look to the ramp, stunned! The Ripper comes charging out, furious, and sprints down the ramp, sliding in the ring... AND RUNNING STRAIGHT THROUGH THE STUNNED CHRISTIAN AND DREAMER WITH A HUGE FOREARM SMASH! Dreamer collapses and falls from the ring, where a waiting Zack Ryder immediately pounces, smashing the Innovator of Violence with right hands! In the ring is where the camera focuses, because Burchill and Christian are suddenly going at it, rocking each other with some massive blows! Christian heads for the ropes... BUT BURCHILL DECAPITATES HIM WITH A MONSTER CLOTHESLINE! The crowd groans, and Burchill heads outside... BEFORE GRABBING ONE OF THE STEEL CHAIRS AT RINGSIDE! The crowd boos crazily, and the Ripper gets in the ring...

KATIE LEA?

The crowd comes to life with a mixed reaction as Burchill’s sister comes rushing down the ramp, and slides in the ring, screaming at her brother not to hit the ECW Champion with the chair! Burchill roars at his sister to move, but she won’t! She stands between Burchill, in one corner, and Christian, who is now sitting in the other, leaning against the turnbuckle, dizzied by the earlier beating from Burchill! The crowd is screaming all sorts of noise, and Burchill yells again, telling his sister to get out of the way... BUT KATIE LEA WON’T MOVE, AND HER BROTHER IS INCREDULOUS!

And as if it could get much crazier...

AIN’T NO STOPPIN’ ME... NAAAAAAAW!!!

THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE! TODD GRISHAM AND BYRON SAXTON ARE GOING INSANE ON THE OUTSIDE – WE HAVE MEN LAID OUT ALL OVER THE PLACE! Ryder is relentlessly hitting Dreamer on the floor outside, and won’t stop! It’s complete chaos... AND NOW HERE COMES SHELTON BENJAMIN, CHARGING DOWN THE RAMP! Benjamin slides into the ring, and Burchill rushes straight past his stunned sister, swinging for the hills with the chair... WHICH BENJAMIN DUCKS UNDER, AND SCALES THE TURNBUCKLE, BEFORE LEAPING BACKWARDS TO TAKE OUT BURCHILL WITH A FLYING CROSSBODY! The crowd goes crazy, and Shelton screams with an animal intensity! Burchill gets back up... AND SHELTON DEALS HIM PAYDIRT! THE CROWD GO INTO RAPTURES!!! These scenes are insane!

Shelton gets back up, and looks at Katie Lea, as if expecting her to yell at him or something, but she’s frozen on the spot! She can’t move! She looks down at her brother, then to Benjamin, then across the ring to Christian, who struggles to his feet, and looks straight at Katie Lea, too! There’s a huge, stunned silence between the three, and the crowd comes to life – half the crowd roars for Christian, while the other half call for the Gold Standard! The Royal Rumble opponents look between each other, as if stuck on what to do... they look around at the audience, and then back to each other... and a voice suddenly rings out...

Washington:Forgotten about someone?

BIG... DADDY... V!

The United Center explodes with unimaginable heat, as Abraham Washington and Big Daddy V arrive on the scene – Washington, obviously, has a mic in his hand. The pair begin to walk down the ramp, Washington in deep thought, while the Mastodon scowls. Burchill has rolled from the ring, leaving a plethora of superstars on the outside, all exhausted, while Benjamin, Christian and Katie Lea stand inside the ring, shocked.

Washington: See, now this is what’s wrong with Tiffany being in charge...

The crowd boos intensely, but Washington ignores them, gesturing at the mess about the place, as various superstars struggle to their feet.

Washington: You people see this? It’s chaos! That dumb blond backstage... she don’t know about this show! It’s a freakin’ circus!

The crowd boos, but he’s right. Washington hangs back by the apron of the ring, while the Mastodon gets in, over the top rope. Washington stands on the outside, at the very end of the ramp, and speaks up to Christian and Shelton in the ring...

Washington: Now, this would never happen... if yours truly, Abe Washington, was at the helm...

More boos, while Shelton and Christian eye the Mastodon with cold, tired glares.

Washington: And why? Well, one, cause I’m the smoothest man about this brand... two, cause I know how to run my own show... and three... because I have my own brand of – discipline.

Suddenly, Big Daddy V launches forward, and floors a shocked Christian with a huge right hand! The crowd boos, and Benjamin darts in, flinging lefts and rights... but the Mastodon turns to him, and knocks him down with a massive headbutt! Christian gets back up, and leaps at V, only for the 500 pounder to lift the ECW Champion to hoist him on to his shoulders... AND CRUSH HIM WITH THE GHETTO DROP! Benjamin is up... AND HE GETS A GHETTO DROP, TOO... THROUGH THE TABLE SET UP PREVIOUSLY BY RYDER!!! The crowd let out a massive groan – Benjamin just got torn in two, and now he's lying in a mess of wood!

Benjamin and Christian are barely moving on the mat, and in comes Ezekiel Jackson – HE GETS A BIG BOOT TO THE FACE! The Mastodon gets out of the ring as Washington points to Regal, and the 500 pounder grabs the Englishman by the throat... BEFORE FLINGING HIM INTO THE CROWD WITH A CHOKE TOSS! These scenes are insane! Vladimir Kozlov gets up, and throws himself at the big man with some big forearms, but the Mastodon just shrugs them off... AND PICKS KOZLOV UP, BEFORE DRIVING HIS BACK INTO THE STEEL RING POST! Big Daddy V is on a freakin’ rampage! Katie Lea Burchill is standing above Shelton Benjamin and Christian in the ring, completely stunned! She’s clueless! Big Zeke is back up, though, and he heads for Big Daddy V... AND STARTS ROCKING HIM WITH SOME OF THE BIGGEST RIGHT HANDS YOU’LL EVER SEE! The 500 pounder reels backwards, and Jackson flings himself forward again... DRIVING THE BIG MAN INTO THE CROWD BARRICADE!

The crowd cheers, and doubt begins to form in the mind of Washington... ONLY FOR BIG DADDY V TO MOVE AWAY FROM THE BARRICADE, HOIST JACKSON UPWARDS, AND FLATTEN HIM WITH A GHETTO DROP TO THE OUTSIDE! The crowd groans, and Grisham nearly loses his voice – he’s been going into overdrive with his marking out at the announce table! Zack Ryder, who’s been stomping on Dreamer, sees Big Daddy V coming his way... SO HE TRIES TO OFFER THE INNOVATOR OF VIOLENCE AS A SACRIFICE, BEFORE MAKING A BEELINE FOR THE RAMP, CHARGING UP, AND ESCAPING BEHIND THE CURTAIN!

The crowd boos Ryder’s cowardice, and Washington joins the Mastodon by the announce tables... before pointing down at Dreamer! The crowd boos, and Big Daddy V takes a few steps back... AND JUMPS UP, CRUSHING DREAMER UNDERNEATH HIM WITH A 500 POUND SPLASH! Everyone’s been laid out by Big Daddy V, and both he and Washington get in the ring – the heat is huge! Katie Lea has scurried, disconsolate, to the outside, and Shelton and Christian have rolled out in agony, making for a plethora of superstars on the outside, all laid out, bar Katie Lea! Washington begins to laugh...

Washington: After all that, huh? After all their little fights, their little arguments... my man can just break them all. What does that say about the power I have? HUH?

Massive heat rains down.

Washington: So this is a message for YOU, Tiffany... I don’t care who you have lined up for me and my man at Saturday Night’s Main Event – no-one can beat the Mastodon! He’s the biggest, baddest dude on the ECW roster!

More boos as the Mastodon throws the ‘V’ sign up behind the cocky Washington.

Washington: So I dare you, Tiffany... I just dare you to come out here, and tell me that you weren’t impressed by what we just did. Please, I’m beggin’ ya. C’mon. C’MON!

Washington is having a whale of a time, laughing extrovertly as the superstars on the outside lie motionless. The camera doesn’t show Katie Lea – it would ruin the effect.

BUT TIFFANY’S MUSIC PLAYS, CUTTING OFF WASHINGTON IN STUNNING FASHION! The pop is huge for Tiffany as she arrives, fuming. She stands on the stage with a mic, and her music subsides quickly. Washington has his arms folded, a giant smirk on his face. Tiffany glares at him, and raises her mic.

Tiffany: And you come out here tonight... with your big friend there, and you tear up the place. My show. My superstars.

Boos.

Tiffany: You wanna know if it impresses me? Hell no!

A big mocking cheer goes up.

Tiffany: All it does, is prove just how much of a low-life, cocky, arrogant rat you are.

Another cheer goes up, and Washington tilts his head, clearly not amused.

Tiffany: And I’m telling you... you keep attacking my superstars, I swear to GOD there will be hell to pay for you, Abe.

Washington frowns.

Tiffany: Can I get some help out here?

After a few seconds, a host of EMTs arrive on the scene to tend to the various bruised superstars on the outside. Tiffany smirks.

Tiffany: Now, Abe. You can make yourself feel big by taking guys out when they’re on the floor and exhausted... but in eleven days’ time, that’s not gonna be the case, Abe. At Saturday Night’s Main Event, you’ll be facing a full-strength man... if you can call him that.

Washington looks intrigued.

Tiffany: And you know something, Abraham? Watching you lose that match will be the sweetest moment of my career... because the whole crowd will be singing you out of the building, and I’ll be waving you goodbye!

The crowd cheers, and Big Daddy V looks at Washington.

Tiffany: You think your guy is the biggest and baddest from ECW? Well, I got on the phone, Abe. And I brought in someone who is THE biggest, and THE baddest superstar in the WWE, just for you! Just to see you squeal...

Washington’s eyes go a bit wide. Tiffany smirks.

Tiffany: Abraham, I give to you... my representative for our match at Saturday Night’s Main Event!

There’s a stunned silence. Washington waits, suddenly serious. The silence continues to the point that Washington begins to think no-one’s coming –

BUT THE PYRO EXPLODES!!!

THE UNITED CENTER GOES BATSHIT, THE ARENA TURNS RED, AND OUT FROM BEHIND THE CURTAIN STEPS THE BIG RED MACHINE!!!

IT’S KANE!!!

ABRAHAM WASHINGTON’S EYES ARE POPPING OUT OF THEIR SOCKETS!!! HE’S SO SCREWED! KANE LETS OUT AN ALMIGHTY CACKLE, AND BEGINS TO STORM DOWN THE RAMP, SENDING WASHINGTON INTO A FIT! He turns to Big Daddy V, and his confidence returns for a moment, and Kane reaches the ring – he slides in, and Big Daddy V lashes out with a right hand... BUT KANE DUCKS IT, AND LASHES OUT WITH SOME BRUTAL SHOTS, SENDING THE MASTODON REELING BACK! The crowd is going crazy, and Kane forces the 500 pounder back on to the ropes... BEFORE CHARGING, AND CLOTHESLINING BIG DADDY V OVER, AND OUT OF THE RING!!! INSANITY!

Kane turns around – and there’s Washington, standing like an absolute lemon! Washington lets out a squeal like a little girl, and looks around, as if begging for help... ONLY FOR KANE TO GRAB HIM ROUND THE THROAT! Washington’s eyes bulge, and the arena, cloaked in red light, roars for the big man to do it... SO WITH A MIGHTY LAUGH, KANE SENDS WASHINGTON FOR A RIDE... CHOKESLAM TO WASHINGTON!!! The crowd goes crazy! ABRAHAM WASHINGTON JUST GOT CHOKESLAMMED!!!

Grisham: Would you believe what we’ve just witnessed! Utter chaos from the superstars of ECW, with Zack Ryder laying out Tommy Dreamer, and a massive confrontation between the ECW Champion and his contenders, before we saw the arrival of Big Daddy V, who laid out everyone, including putting Shelton Benjamin through a table!

Saxton: And then, Tiffany came out, and announced that KANE would be her representative at Saturday Night’s Main Event! I’m just shellshocked, Todd.

Grisham:And of course it all ended with that massive Chokeslam to Abraham Washington, making for one of the most action-packed shows I've seen in a long time.

Some more medics charge out to help the ones already present as they tend to the guys on the outside.

Grisham: And as much as it now hurts me to say it, that’s all the time we have tonight! From a thrill-packed ECW in the United Center, Chicago, I’m Todd Grisham alongside Byron Saxton at ringside, we wish you a very good evening.

As the returning Kane unleashes his signature pyro, and points up at a beaming Tiffany, ECW fades... to... black.

Benjamin v. Manu and promo: Well I have to say Manu put up a good fight, surprised no Rhyno, because I’m sure the team is not done at all. Anyway I’m glad with the big highlight move in the moonsault, really would get me and the crowd off their seats. With that said a good way to start. The promo was decent. Burchill saying something about Benjamin’s finisher then replied after with a “What?” I didn’t know if that was a typo or anything, but that was the only thing that tripped me up. Anyway Burchill doing the Curb-Stomp American History X style I’m marking for sure.

Cody Rhodes vs. Gregory Helms: Whoa, Cody Rhodes promo was pure gold here. I enjoyed every second of it. The shot of Orton wasn’t really necessary to be honest. If Cody doesn’t want to be on ECW, I doubt Orton does haha. But anyway great promo to kick things off. I was a bit shocked by Rhyno, because I really think it takes away from the whole Legacy v. Yoshi/Helms storyline for now. Anyway whatever. By the way Grisham calling them Hurri-Tatsu, what a idiot. I’m glad Saxton put him and them in their place.

Rhyno Promo: Eh, I was never really a big fan of Rhyno tbh. So this promo was really hit or miss with me. I actually read it a few times, and just felt there was no pizzazz to it. Anyway I’m guessing you only did to this further storylines, and make SNME more awesome.

Dreamer vs. Regal and activity after: So a very good match, I really love the description. So the ending with everyone coming out at first I was like WTF, this is ridiculous, and I was going to yell at you saying what a terrible way to end ECW, but when we get to the part I’m going to review next it was all played well my friend.

Tiffany and Abe promo: Simply amazing with the Mastodon, clearing out the ring, and Abe was so good. First time I really have liked him in this thread. He was very on point, and made some good reasons as to why he should be GM. I’m glad with SNME 11 days away we get Tiffany’s choice, which is good. Abe being chokeslam was awesome, to gain some much needed momentum with Tiffany.

Overall: Very good ECW. Rhyno promo was the only thing I personally didn’t like. I’m still very intrigued by the small little Katie Lea and Christian fling going on. It adds so much more intrigue to the match at the Rumble. Also Cody Rhodes Promo FTW!!! One of the best promos I have read from you. Short but very sweet. Good luck man. Glad to see you back on track

Nice little highlight package to start us off, reminding us of the Katie Lea/Christian storyline, which has been moving along nicely. Not much given away on the card for tonight by your commentators, but the main event does sound nice.

Good to see Benjamin in action this week after missing out last week. A match with Manu should do both men good too, since Manu gets a chance to get in the ring with an ECW main eventer, and Benjamin gets to go against a guy who’s looked pretty good since returning to the company in this BTB. Nice victory for Benjamin here, using his pace against the larger man cleverly to create what seemed like a good match.

Burchill coming out? Very pleased to see this, since it’s really felt like Benjamin hasn’t been involved enough with the title situation, and for Burchill to be now confronting him and not just worrying about Christian is a major positive. Katie Lea looking uncomfortable? Nice to see you making a point to continue to show that, even when not involving Christian. Burchill coming out and making the threat was pretty well done, and Benjamin was okay in response, although I would have liked him saying that the ECW Title match is his business, because as much as we already know that Burchill and Christian will keep feuding after the Rumble while Benjamin probably goes off into the Money in the Bank match, I feel like you should be trying to get Benjamin as involved as possible, at least for now. Again, Katie Lea being brought up is okay, but Benjamin throwing Katie Lea under the bus like that almost seems heelish in a way, because she’s the innocent girl, and all of a sudden he’s bringing the attention back to her, if you know what I mean. The response from Burchill was pretty good nonetheless, although the ending to the promo felt a little wrong since all of a sudden Benjamin was addressing the start of the promo again. Still, Benjamin showing no fear was good to see, and the brawl that followed was well done, making both men look good. Pretty nice promo here, although there were some things I thought were iffy.

Orton here to watch Rhodes? I don’t really like Orton still looking like Cody’s bitch, which I had a major problem with on RAW.

Rhodes’ promo was okay, although it felt like a bit much of a burial of the ability of Tatsu and Helms. I have no problem on calling Helms out for wearing a mask and Tatsu for not speaking English, but saying they have no talent? Not good for me. If Tatsu has no talent, then why are people going to care about him? I know Rhodes is a heel, but I still think it’s better that he puts over the wrestling ability of his opposition, all while insulting him. If Rhodes wants to say something about Tatsu and Helms, I’d rather see him talk about how they’re not a real team like him and DiBiase.

Saxton burying Tatsu and Helms too? Disappointing. Pretty good match here, although I have to say the ending was disappointing. I know you have a running thing with Rhyno/Manu and Helms/Tatsu, but I feel like it can wait a bit until the little feud between Helms/Tatsu and Legacy is done, or at least with Rhyno/Manu getting back into things by costing Tatsu/Helms the tag titles. With these feuds now intertwining a bit much, it feels like things are getting a bit messy.

Nice little segment here to continue the Christian/Burchill situation. The tension is building with Katie Lea and Christian getting closer and closer, which I think you’re doing well.

Rhyno’s promo was okay, I guess, getting the job done that it set out to do. It seems awfully weird that all of a sudden Rhyno and Manu seem to have broken up, and I really think that Rhyno and Manu should have waited until after the tag title match to continue their feud with Tatsu and Helms, maybe cutting promos about how they’re more deserving of a tag title shot in the mean time.

Regal being in the main event is major ratings. Pretty good match here, doing its job of not allowing Regal to look weak in defeat, while Dreamer gets some momentum going into his big match with Ryder. I like the way in which this set up the post-match attack from Regal and Kozlov, with the loss obviously being embarrassing to Regal. I’m not going to say a whole lot, other than I loved all of the run ins that followed, with the complete and utter chaos and carnage being awesome. A nice way to connect everything together, leading to Big Daddy V finally appearing on the show with Washington. The way in which Big Daddy V decimated everyone was really well done, and I liked the point behind it from Washington with him saying what a good job he would do because of this. The return of Kane was well done here, with a match with Big Daddy V being cool in the big man vs. big man sense, even if it obviously won’t be a great match. Great angle to finish the show with.

Up until the ending of the show, I thought this was just okay, and not up to your best. The ending, however, with the chaos, was something I absolutely loved. Just had a real electric feel to it, everything made sense, all of your angles were played on, and the ending was just great. Really exciting ending, and hopefully next week really capitalises on all of the excitement that this brought.

I realise it’s been 11 days since I posted a very chaotic ECW, so I apologise for being so slow, though it is worth pointing out... I just left school to go on study leave. Great success.

Basically, this gives me a lot more room, space and time to write my shows. Over the last week and a half I’ve had a good think about how much I was needing to write with three shows, and thought one hell of a lot about doing something like an ECW ’08 or a Season Two NXT thread, both things that I’ve considered in the past – hell, I went as far as asking (successfully) for a free pass from Caesar (thanks, btw) to get started on such a project, as a sort of ‘summer project’, where I’d essentially be writing a one-hour show each week. As I was doing this, though, it struck me just how much I adore this thread, and some of the ideas I have for it and whatnot – well, I just can’t leave this one behind.

As previously mentioned, I’ve just started my study leave, so I’ll be more active, which is also a good thing seeing as we’re getting ever closer to the June tournament, as was discussed in the Discussion thread, go figure. It’s something I really want to be a part of, and the more active I am, the more I hope I can do just that.

Lots of thanks to BkB Hulk and RatedRKO31 as usual, you guys are awesome. Here, have a preview.

Oh, and if anyone was, you know, wondering what font this is in, it’s Tahoma. Just so you know...

As we edge ever closer to the Royal Rumble pay-per-view, and the discovery of just who will headline Wrestlemania, SmackDown arrives in Chicago, Illinois.

He’s The Best In The World......at getting his comeuppance, it seems. Chris Jericho interfered in the Main Event of SmackDown last week, crashing a chair into the back of his enemy, the Big Show, during his match with Batista. However, the World’s Largest Athlete didn’t take too kindly to this, and hit both men with a monstrous Chokeslam to stand tall at the end of SmackDown. Throw in a confrontation with Rey Mysterio backstage to boot, and it’s not surprising that Jericho has a lot on his mind at the moment. Tonight, the first ever Undisputed Champion takes to the mic, to speak to the WWE Universe as SmackDown opens. What will Jericho have to say, with the NYC Brawl for the World Title drawing ever nearer?

The Animal UnleashedOne man who also can’t be too happy after last week’s events is the Animal, Batista. The five-time World Champion lost by disqualification against the reigning World Heavyweight Champion last week, and this week, he takes on Finlay. Now, a few weeks back on SmackDown in a Beat the Clock Challenge, Batista failed to beat Finlay in time, meaning he lost the opportunity to choose the stipulation for the World Title match at Royal Rumble, a privilege that eventually went to the Big Show. Will the Fighting Irishman make things as difficult for Batista tonight, or will the Animal’s anger prove too much to handle?

A Straight Edge MissionLast week on SmackDown, CM Punk came out in front of the fans to proclaim that he was fighting a lost battle as he tried to “save” them all from their “problems”. The reasoning behind this, claimed the Straight Edge Superstar, came down to none other than WWE Hall of Famer, “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. It goes without saying that the mentioning of the Texas Rattlesnake had the WWE Universe going wild, and the Second City Saint didn’t take too kindly to it, claiming that “he could not save them” while Austin’s influence remained with them. After stunning scenes on SmackDown last week, we’ll be seeing CM Punk again tonight, as he comes out in his home town, to preach to the fans in Chicago – one can only imagine what the Straight Edge Superstar will have to say, with so much on his mind, and the home town fans in front of him as his audience.

Karma’s A BitchMickie James beat Layla again last week, firmly proving to every Diva on SmackDown that she fully deserves her shot at the Women’s Championship. One woman who might finally be convinced is the Champion herself, Michelle McCool, who was Mickie-DT’ed on to her own title belt last week as she tried to blindside her Royal Rumble opponent. Mickie left with the words, ‘Karma’s a bitch’ – has this measure of revenge given Mickie a dose of respect from the Champion, or will it only drive McCool on to get “even” on her terms? Watch this space.

He’s Big, He’s Red, and He’s BackThe Big Red Monster, Kane, returned to WWE programming on Tuesday night when he was revealed as Tiffany’s representative for her match at ECW Invades: Saturday Night’s Main Event, where he will face Big Daddy V – if Kane wins, Abraham Washington is fired, but if the Mastodon wins, Tuesday nights will be run by Washington himself. In any case, Kane is still a SmackDown superstar, and as such, he makes his return to the ring tonight, against the up and coming Scotsman, Drew McIntyre, who last week, qualified for the Royal Rumble. You can be assured Tiffany will be at ringside to watch the Big Red Machine in action – will he be as dominant as he always was, especially when paired up against such a strong new force on SmackDown? Tune into SmackDown tonight to find out.

Revenge Is A Dish Best Served ColdDolph Ziggler qualified for the 2010 Royal Rumble match last week on SmackDown using very debatable tactics. As R-Truth was arriving for their match, Ziggler attacked him from behind, and brutalised him with a steel chair to make for a very easy win. Matt Hardy, who has been a victim of many of Ziggler’s attacks, told the world that he was after Ziggler’s head – unfortunately for him, Ziggler snuck away as Hardy came out to confront him. Tonight on the Blue Brand, it’ll be Hardy himself in action, taking on one half of the Hart Dynasty in Tyson Kidd, who has been terrorising the tag team division with his deadly Ankle Lock, known as the Prince’s Crown. Can Hardy prove to Ziggler that he won’t give up in his pursuit of him with a big win tonight, or will Kidd use his tremendous in-ring ability to his advantage, and claim yet another scalp on SmackDown?

A Prize In SightThe Brian Kendrick wowed us all when he beat Intercontinental Champion John Morrison last week in a surprisingly even match-up. Tonight, the cocky young superstar faces a similarly energetic in-ring warrior in the form of the Insane Luchador, Super Crazy. This match is sure to be a treat for the eyes, and with the Champion himself to be at the announce desk as special guest, Kendrick will want to win here to firmly secure his place as next in line for a shot at the gold.

Announced for SmackDown

Chris Jericho to open the showCM Punk to speak in front of his hometown crowd