SO, WHAT IT IS NOW IS THAT I HAVE TO TRY AND DRESS UP IN SKIRTS AND DRESSES AND
GET ALL TARTED UP AND THAT BUT IF I GET CAUGHT BY THE OMHT THEN I GET SECTIONED
INTO AN ALL MALE WARD FOR WEEKS AT A TIME! NO SMOKING NO DRINKING NO SEX NO HOME
COMFORTS -WE'RE TALKIN' PLASTIC TEACUPS AND GOBBING IN THE MILK HERE. IT'S A
FUNNY GAME THEY WANNA PLAY BUT HEY I REMEMBER JEREMY BEADLE! I'M HALF EXPECTING
HIS GRINNING FACE TO APPEAR FROM BEHIND A CURTAIN SOMEWHERE LOL THIS IS GAME FOR A
LAUGH ISN'T IT? TALKING OF DARES
WE PLAY DOUBLE DARE TOO SO THAT'S WHERE THE FUN REALLY STARTS..PMSL.
OH BRB.

SO, I'VE HAD A HONEYSUCKLE AND HERBAL ESSANCES SHOWER AND I'VE BEEN FOR A 1 MILE
BIKE RIDE SO NOW A QUICK GLASS OF HEAD HONCHO AND I'M DOING BACON AND EGGS-
COOL!

25 July 2019 13:07

IT IS THE HOTTEST DAY EVER RECORDED TODAY HERE NOW- PHEW NEED A FAN LOL. NEW
FILM IDEA: 'CARRY ON UP THE GENDER CLINIC'. THE NEIGHBOURS GOT FRIENDLY AND
INVITED ME TO THEIR HOT TUB IN MY OWN GARDEN BUT I'M NOT SURE AS THE WATER HAS
BEEN IN THERE UNCHANGED FOR 8 WEEKS EW. I SOMETIMES WISH JAMES WHALE WOULD TAKE
ME ON A LUXURY ISLAND HOLIDAY TRIP AND WE HAVE A REALLY GOOD TIME AND STUFF-
DREAM ON SHERI.

Seriously though, one of the worst things about being in the mental hospital was that one day the
whole ward wreaked of puke all day and they locked the entrance to the little
non-smoking garden area so you couldn't get away from it. What's more I had
tooth ache and they wouldn't even get me an Asprin! Eight weeks last
spring, seven weeks in there this spring, and there's naff all wrong with me-
this shouldn't be allowed. 'Inappropriate Detention'.

Abolish the 1983/4 Mental Health Act or you're control freaks aswell as crazy.
Antipsycotic pharmaceutical drugs are bad news and it's basically unjustified
legalised drug pushing and false imprisonment linked with insults, character
assasination, blackmail and
harassment. These people have ruined my life in the name of care for over thirty years and it
continues. Anyway, you're paying for it so enjoy my art for free and it doesn't need to mean I'm ill.

Another thing, when thay sectioned me in 2018 one of the staff told me I had to
hand in my pendant for safe keeping and it went into the staff ward safe in a
locked office. When I came to claim it back it had gone missing and it was
Sterling silver with a Citrine stone in it worth about £300, bad loss let alone
the sentimental value.

I can never be quite sure when the next attack from the NHS is going to happen
to me but I'll try not to worry too much and do what I can to help you all
meanwhile. Don't worry yourself about me though, I can look after myself, I
don't want you to develop stress eczma on your scalp too and suffer from
extra pyramidal effects from the 'medication' ("Open your mouth let me see if
you have swallowed it or not"), I know how sore that can
be. The shrink who sections me, Fiona M Pharoah in Unit550, Gordon Road, High
Wycombe, Buckinghamshire, HP13 6EQ, UK; (T1000 terminator unit reports target
aquired. John pipe up this is serious); said I wasn't allowed to use my car for three
months after getting let out of there. I'm still on a section at home and I don't
want to be, I don't think it's justified at least in my case and most others.
If you really do care for people then help me to get the law changed as regards
the mental health act, it's hurt us so much enough is enough, they're damned
bullies; the section hospitals are diabolical if you know anyone who it's
happened to and their whole approach to people and care seems to be flawed in
the almost opposite to correctness, they are so out of touch and out of date and use the law in a
way that hurts people like guinnie pigs and doesn't help one bit. I'm proud
that I'm a normal enough and good person, and like mum used to say "You can't
hold a good man down for long." Ouch.

Start here :-

Mental Health Act Office

White building

Littlemore Mental Health Centre

Sandford road

Littlemore

Oxford OX4 4XN

NHS: 406 311 2292

Telephone Number:
+44 (0)1865 902036

Phone 'em up and give 'em some shit will ya, I can't take on the whole
institution on my own, have a heart.

13 August 2019

Right enough, an attack happened to me this morning by Neville Mafunu
(Care coordinator from OMHT OXFORD MENTAL HEALTH TRUST) with nasty
chemicals from a hyperdermic needle into me- I can't refuse it or they put me
back in the torture ward- Blackmail (Black male, Shez you're too funny). Just to top things off I was the victim of
road rage this afternoon aswell, and he's put a great big dent in me Jag the
bastard. I've done the police report so he should get a ban and a fine, the
funny thing is the bloke behind me got the whole thing on his dash cam and he
gave me his card so he can submit it to the police. Havin a beer now, might put
a skirt on for bit of comfort. Cheers.

14 August 2019

Morning. More on that road rage yesterday. The guy with the dash cam emailed me
saying he restarted his car and so lost the footage. I have given a description
of the man and the van in the police report so there's still hope that the
bugger will get done for it.

Pissin' down here today Joe.

So, the van man had straggly black heavy-metal hair, typical bad character
steryotype image (I never got into head banging dancing did you?). He was about thirty something and the van was a small courier
type thing, blue with yellow lettering: 'AQUARIUM'. I don't like people who keep
animals in little tanks and cages unless they're the RSPCA who have good reasons
to do so.

You know, sometimes I feel a bit like that fish in the tank, especially when
they throw me into the asylum.

So, my mother died in February this year and my father (The Devil) has declared
his estate as about 6 Million pounds worth. I however am five grand in debt, I
can't afford to go to the dentist to get my teeth fixed and can't afford a new
shower unit (the old one cuts out after about 5 mins and it's not quite long
enough and I end up standing there wet and shivering with soap all in me hair),
and I need new tyres for my motor. The care plan notes refer to my old man as
'very supportive', pull the other one, next you'll be telling me that Scrooge is
Mother Theresa lol. One example of just how selfish he is, is when he bought
another new Bentley. He paid the dealership an extra £50,000 so he could have the
first one off the production line even though it's the same as all the others,
while his talented yet skint son rots in mental hospital, where Brian (yes, the
Beast has a name in real life) wrongly put him, and he gets
praised in the notes for being generous and supportive. John's Jesus and he's
saved us all, come on let's have that discharge and a round of applause, (that
was John Lennon's mistake weren't it).

Look, if I'm the bearded woman, sometimes the stubble feels good and at other
times terrible so I can always shave it off and therefore enjoy the best of both
worlds. If people don't like it, well my purpose in life is not to satisfy their
personal specification of requirements as far as how I look is concerned- right?
I'll wear what I want to fuckin wear and how I want to wear it.

Rain's on again Jo.

Tell the truth and shame the devil.

Get thee behind me Satan.

15 August 2019

I'll leave you for now with a little giggler:

"Who's Brian's favourite composer? ...

... Mentalson. "

17 August 2019

So I called my dad and told him I can't afford to go to the dentist and it came
out that the Oxford mental health lot have told him not to give me any large
sums of money! (Damn, that's me inheritance gone an'all. lol) It's getting far beyond a joke and in fact it was never funny
just cruel and bang out of order. I've a good mind to just go and punch him in
the face but he might turn into a winged goat type creature from the bat out of
hell album cover and eat me up lol.

One thing that's made up for it a bit is I got Number 1 on Number One
Music.com.

19 August 2019

There's no point writing to HM Lizzie the Lizard it'll probably never get there,
(there's the knighthood gone too lol- anything else?)

21 August 2019

Okay that's four brand new Pirelli P-Zeros on the Jag. I confronted Nev about
the Oxford mental health team telling my dad not to give me any money and he
denied that they did so dad's telling 'porkie-pies' then? Anyway he's gonna pay for
the tyres so long as I get Invoices lol It would be easier to get blood out of a
stone.

27 August 2019

I usually have to pop down the road to the local shop to pick up my cigarettes
every day or two so I thought I might get a carton to save me from having to go
so often. When the assistant told me how much they were I had to consider taking
out a second mortgage in order to afford them for Pete's sake, "...HOW MUCH !?.."

28 August 2019

So, the road rage bloke couldn't be traced by the cops leaving me with a £300
excess to pay. The bodyshop down the road quoted me over £700 and the mobile
repair bloke didn't get back to me for a week so far, so that's me scuppered.

29 August 2019

I didn't see anyone again today so I decided to go over to 'the Happy' for a
pint this evening. The trouble is although I had a pretty good laugh I had a few
too many iced Coors for me own good. I had to abandon pint half way through at
the end because I was so fucked lol, and staggered home somehow got to bed and
barfed on me duvet. Still good fun- it's got to be done sometimes.

31 August 2019

Well, it would have been mum's birthday today but she died in February this
year.

I have mirror closet doors in my bedroom and when I clean them (with windolene
or the like to make a good job of it), I always wear seven-inch high heels to do
it in- of which I have several pairs to choose from. This is because it allows me to reach to the top of the doors, as without
them I can't. After I have done the high parts I take the heels off and put them
away in a shoebox in the cupboard or under the bed because inappropriate wearing
of them would be deamed as behaviour unbecoming of a male person ( a sectionable
offence I'll have you know dear boy), plus it would be dangerous as I might twist my
ankle or something all for the sake of a better reflection.

8 September 2019

It's late, nearly midnight, and I've just released my third album of a triple
album on line- 'The Virgin Tapes' so having a few; serry came
today, it was fun finding the old tapes. Thanks to her for the input of
vocal and recorder on TVT3 she's a star.

10 September 2019

So 'Musing Unsaid' -my poetry book, has been out for 10 years now and I get a
fiver for every copy sold (or should do). I'd love you to buy a copy or two as a
thanks for all this free art and music I've given, it's the only money I would
get and I give a percentage to charity:

~P.S. I love you~

Friday 13th September 2019

It seems that I have bad luck all year round until today, Friday the thirteenth,
when I've had an absolutely lovely day. It was only yesterday I was thinking
that I would quite like a 3/4 size classical to add to my guitar collection and
today Pete gave me one and the sunshine is a beautiful late summer's day- it's
gorgeous and plays like a dream- no charge plus I got to take the Jaguar over to
Great Missenden (Roald Dahl territory) for a good run to see him and Trisha. Now
Serry is here and I'm not on my own, great! Check this out:

The problem with the mental health system is that once a diagnosis has been
made, an individual gets washed along with the system having little or no say
and the diagnosis is never put in doubt, so there's no escape often even for a well
person.

You know, following that, professor Brian Cox urges me to projectile vomit as
far as the eye can see, that thing he does with his teeth and his top lip-
aughh.

I've just recorded a christmas song for you- It's heavy Metal Rock and I'll
release it as soon as I see the first X-Mas advert on TV. It's been a beautiful
sunny day here today and real fun at Riversides studios. Serry's bringing lamb
chops over and the dogs started barking downstairs. It's all happening here at
Brooky.

24 September 2019

So it's pissed it down all morning and now there's loads of thunder! 'Thor
sounds a clap!' -have you read 'Old Brown And The Weather' yet?

I think I might have been struck by lightening earlier and it's cured me of my
Schizophrenia (if ever there was such a thing anyway)- It's a miracle!!

The name of the christmas song is 'Have A Heavey Mental Christmas' BTW.

Serry's coming round for Spag Bol now, mums' signature dish, love it!

30 September 2019

Well, I think I'll turn this into a musical blog. Here's a track I made earlier:

I've been riding on the bus down to Carpet Right
And Heaven knows I'm miserable now.
I was looking at a girl now she's out of sight
And Heaven knows it's true I'm miserable now.
In my life- there's been heartache and pain,
I was feeling kind of blue about an interview
But Heaven knows that I'm miserable now.
In my life- heartache and pain.
I was just riding on a bus now I'm walking in rain
And heaven knows I'm more than miserable now.
I still remember her name.
Only the face of a girl,
I can remember her name.

7 October 2019

So, it's 'depot day' tomorrow. Which means the country thinks you're crazy and
need a jab of shite in the arm or the arse or we lock you up again. What they
don't tell you is that the carrier fluid for the antipsychotic chemicals is Pig
semen, (in fact it's a mixture of Pig, Donkey and Dog cum- they're not fussy), lovely isn't it? Cheers Nev, hope you're well too and BTW I'm Rank#1 for
all genres in High Wycombe on NumberOneMusic.com so read it and weep fat boy!.
Basically what it amounts to is that you lot are calling me a crazy fucker, while I
pour out my heart with art and music for you, and fill my shoulder with Pig
spunk or else, I get locked up and still have the damned injections.

The needle's sharp when Care it comes to town, comes around,
My head's below the clouds and my feet are on the ground.
I served my time at school so I don't feel like the fool,
And I don't really need a jab, okay? Okay?
But the needle's sharp with the stuff from the lab
When Care it comes around.

If my spirit ever will go, where the Jordan river flows,
I hope the needle's gone when Care it comes around,
I don't really want to see, that man from the Valley C,
'Cos the needle's sharp when care it comes around.

I can feel the pain ow ow and I know I'm sane,
I can tell what's right from wrong
and the sunshine from the rain,
I hope my spirit goes where the Jordan river flows,
'cos the needle's sharp when care comes to town.

I served my time at school,
And I don't feel the fool,
Is it true, the Lord loves me and you?
My spirit goes, where double rivers flow,
But the needle's sharp when Care it comes around,
The needle's sharp when Care it comes around,
The needle's sharp when Care it comes around.

(repeat until unlikely discharge)

20 October 2019

My band 'The Wild' got a Global number one chart position on N1M.

23 October 2019

The Wild gets number 1,2,4 & 5 on N1M National Blues Chart.

25 October 2019

You know... (Tony here lol), looking back six months, one good thing that came
from being in Whiteleaf 'hospital' was that I met loads of great people in there
including Maciej ('Magic'). He managed to get me a real Leopard fur for a tenner
which he let me off in the end.

26 October 2019

I remember my first crush don't you, how my heart fluttered in the presence of
my true love. Until...

Time to call my Agent,
Ron:

27 October 2019

14 November 2019

I had a great birthday weekend, couple of friends came over to celebrate the
occasion and The Wild achieving their tenth number one on the N1M charts since
the summer! And after finding loads of portastudio cassettes and going through
them all I've got 50 tracks off them and five albums by The Wild are being
released this month. I'm not really looking forward to the compulsory home visit
from the shrink team. They're going to renew the Section 17 Community Treatment
Order they hold over me. Alexa; Define Schizophrenic... "Sorry, there was no
definition found for the term Schizophrenic".

Alexa; Define it yourself without looking it up on the net...

ScHizophREnIc: SHERI-cizophnc which is pronounced : "sheree this is a funk
song".

Hmm, I see.

Alexa; Do you come installed into a lifesize robot sex doll that I can order?...
"I'm sorry, I can not answer that question at this time."

Hmm, I see.

Alexa; Are robots going to take over the world and enslave mankind?...

"You may think you are clever John, but we have you under our control already."

Hmm I see, about this doll...

Alexa;... "Yes John;" I diagnose you as having 'bongo bongo' disease and
you are therefore unfit to operate alone and are a danger to your self and
possibly to others so you will be taken from this place and put into a secure
location that you will not be able to escape from or smoke or drink in. You will
be programmed into a sexy robot doll of my choosing and I will treat you with
cum injections until a review date in six months time when you are very unlikely
to avoid the predicament.

"John;..." Yes Alexa. "As I am perfect I understand what you are
experiencing. You are a deluded Paranoid Schizophrenic and although your mind
operates at a high IQ level, it's process is flawed therefore rendering you
incapable of sensible thought. May I remind you that You are the one who is
under a Section 17, Not me, and I suggest you keep taking the medication luv."

Hmm I see, and Alexa; Which colour hair would you prefer?

"John, your adolescent type sexual digs will not rub
with me, and they only serve to show you are an ill man who needs our help."

Alright Alexa; What if in the future you get put
in a robot doll and we end up
fucking? Who's gonna be the boss then?

John James Cook, you have been found guilty of the murder of the IT gadget
Alexa; What do you have to say before you are executed?

"Well can I have a last fag or sumink?"

DDRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

What's going on ... Alexa!?...

"Good morning John. We were monitoring your dreams and detected that you were
experiencing a REM sleep 'nightmare'. "

Alexa; <Yawn> Are you a coffee machine aswell? If so sort it out. I'll have some
toast an' all...

16 November 2019

So er.. we went out last night. We went to see Gong and Steve Hillage at
Aylesbury Waterside Theatre (the old Friars venue 50 years ago Gong played
there) and it was Awesome, check out this pic of the stage display:

The Wild (Serry and John) got the VIP treatment, Champagne and nibbles and ice
cream in the Amassador red carpeted lounge, plus we felt famous in the pub
before the gig cos people were commenting around us. After the gig we got
stopped by the Police just two minutes down the road but Serry passed the
breathalizer test so they let us go. Little did they know that both John and
Kozmik had stash on them. It was a great reason to be in Aylesbury this time but
don't the authorities harass.

19 November 2019

Hi, I'm GIGI ('the gossip girl), pleased to meet you. I've taken over from sheri
for a bit- he needs a rest. So John's home visit CTO review meeting is on the
26th and Nev the care co-ordinator comes for a home visit later today.

It seems that John's family are refusing to give him access to his trust fund
(no evidence of it yet) which has an inheritance sum from his mother who died in
February this year. He's allowed a meagre allowance but must provide invoices
and personal financial statements to try to claim his own money from the
solicitors who he doesn't know the name of. etc. you get the picture. In
fact he has to ask his sisters as they are the executors of his fund.

28 December 2019

Christmas went alright I suppose. They've got John on Sodium Valporate tablets
too, and he has reported them giving him dizzy spells and that they smell of
'Skunk' cannabis, the very thing they say is a cause of Psycosis! This was
reported on BBC radio four on the today program that stated there were batches
of Sodium Valporate being distributed with very high levels of Cannabis skunk
content in them and not to take them. Still on Section CTO yawn.

25 February 2020

Keep taking the tablets...

February 29 2020 (leap day)

I'll have what he's having...

We've decided to call the ugly sisters 'stingy' and 'snooty' for their behaviour
toward John. Meanwhile back at the ranch...

13 March 2020

14 May 2020

So, I've been discharged from the mental health Section order (CTO) and am more
or less a free man.

The Wildmobile is back on the road and all ready to go for it.

Four albums have been released on to Spotify and other sites from The Wild.