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Make vibes not things: Caroline Anderson A.K.A. Crystal Diamond

Why are people making so much art? What’s on this month? The more I think about it, the more I think about it … Oh jeez, I’m a bit strung out, I couldn’t make it to the NEW13 opening at ACCA. Wanna come with me? Have you seen this? What did you think of that? I need funding! Oh I’m too busy to catch up for coffee, I’ve got so much art to make for my big show.

‘Nature is a language—can’t you read’, pleaded Morrissey.

Deep breath, pulling in air I think of a loved one far away. On the out-breath I hope it makes a small breeze that travels across the ocean and perhaps tickles their ear a little.

‘Make vibes not things’, says Caroline Anderson, a party artist. Was Bez, from the Happy Mondays, a party artist?

What ignites the party? It can come when the waitress offers you the special hot sauce that nobody else in the café seems to have at their table. Oooh, yummo, it’s hot and from South America. Thanks Caz! Surprises are the spice. Plan something to forget the plan and see what happens. Wrap something to unwrap it. Wow, it feels more special when it’s wrapped. It comes in threes. Meeting two Indian guys walking a small dog at Williamstown beach, then back at home a housemate cooks you an Indian meal. Pop in the bath and digest, rest your muscles after that long walk. Stars fall from the sky and Carl Jung gives you a wink, and you’re reminded of the way your mother ran her fingers through your hair in the bath as a toddler. So you do a little piddle on the carpet near the heater. It smells, but your housemates won’t mind because it also awakens their child within (or their mother). I’m not sure, but it’s a party within. Hi Mum, thanks for coming! No worries babe.

‘Funnily enough, the first step to becoming an absolute babe is admitting you’re a total loser’, Crystal Diamond writes.