Sunday, April 30, 2006

Since its, sunday...its Confessional time. However, since this week was JAMMED with a whole lot of exams, and studying, and sleeping in late...I'll spare you the gory details. So I decided to do a confessional on a whole mish mash of things....I digress...

This week I:

- got 10 emails in one day...NINE of them were from bloggers. That made me laugh.

- Finished my exams, and secured my new degree...Congratulate me.

- Registered for my language requirements for teachers college...I was short 6 credit hours...so i have to spend the next 2 months in Introdcutory Italian, and introductory French. I took french grade 1-9, and Am Italian...talk about 2 easy A's.

- In a conversation I had with Jennifer the other day, she was talking about all the stories that she would like to post about my clumsiness on her blog. And yes, im a disaster when it comes to walking, as I have wiped out MANY times, and broken countless bones because of it. So, in thinking about this weeks confessional, since I had a relatively quiet week, I decided to tell these stories she was particularily giggly about...in an effort to beat her to the punch.

We were at a bar, Arizonas. I had these ridiculously chunky heels on, but cute shoes none the less. So i'm sitting on a bar stool hanging out talking to my friends. My feet are down by the bottom of the stool where that bar that connects the legs are, and both of my heels are on one side of the bar, and the front of my shoes are on the other side, with the arch of my shoe resting on that bar....so the only way that I can stand up, is if I lift my shoes off the bar...Get it??? Anyway, something happens, I cant rememer what....but there was a lot of commotion and I tried to stand up quicker than I was able to, and i wound up wiping out, and grabbing onto Miss Ash on the way down. A few guys came over to see if I was okay...strangers mind you...my friends were too busy laughing at me. I know its not as funny retelling it, as it was when it happened...so sorry about that...maybe this next story will make up for it.

We're at a bar, Rumors...you may have recently read about Big Ben's adventures at the same bar in Niagara....Anyway, we're out on the dance floor, and we're dancing away. I'm out there with our friend P, we're dancing away...and the next thing I know, this woman *who looked sort of like Jada pinkett Smith* Literally runs right at me and jumps on me, and grabs on to the back of my neck, and wraps her legs around my quads and starts trying to dance with me. It was like time stopped when this happened. I thought she was trying to make out with me...and the event that probably only lasted about 10 seconds, felt like forever. I barely recall what happened, as I completely forgot about this incident, until P mentioned it not that long ago....but i do remember both of us stop dancing, and me pushing her off of me...other than that...i dont know who else was around, or who else saw what....When it gets mentioned, they laugh, until they cant breathe...I imagine that if I had witnessed it, I also would be laughing until I was crying...but I barely remember the incident.

So thats it people...a lame confessional for this week, I have next week off, and have to start packing to move to niagara, and for vegas. OHHH VEGAS...im too excited....happy sunday everyone

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Maybe many of you, or maybe none have you, have been to Niagara Falls. However, if you HAVE indeed gone, chances are, you missed this. Its off the strip, and if you dont know its there, you never would.

This is the BEST after drinking restaurant in Niagara Falls. Not to mention that it's open until like 4am. Its obviously called "The Flying Saucer", or, "The Saucer"...to the locals. And Yes, its obviously a restaurant that resembles a UFO, outside and inside. Its a fun atmostphere, and their menus are like newspapers with trivia, and articles about UFO's...that sort of thing. Find thier half assed website Here

Oh...and by the way. When I was looking for a picture of this restaurant to post on this blog, i came across an ebay autcion, where someone had stolen one of their menus, and Sold it. Girls, think of how many times we have been there...i am surprised that no one has thought of this before. I guess its true. You really can sell anything on Ebay....but I digress.

For those of you intrigued by this place, and have decided to make the trip to Niagara Falls just to say that you've been *because they sell post cards too...I bought one and mailed it to my friend who lived in toronto*....Allow me to interject a few KEY RULES when eating at this establishment.

THE RULES:

1. NEVER order past the first page...unless its chicken fingers, or something thats a safe SAFE bet. the first page of the menu has all the basic appetizers, and salad, and random things...that you know, they really arent touching with their hands, and are already premade. I have personally witnessed an experience where someone I went with dared to order lasagna....What a nightmare that was.

2. If the cooks happen to come out from behind the kitchen, try not to look at them...it makes eating there so much harder....Trust me on this.

3. Bathrooms are down a steep staricase, and are creepy as ALL hell. The one and only time I went down there, i was in there by myself, and when I came out, all the paper towels, and the roll sitting on top of them were knocked from the back of the counter, to the floor. It scared the shit out of me, I washed my hands, and took off....I wont go back down there by myself.

4. If you are planning on going for dinner, just for fun, at maybe like 6 or so....be prepared...it will be JAMMED. Like line up out the door, and at least an hour wait. So if you wanna go, make sure its either early or late.

I think thats about it, but if I have missed one of the rules, please leave it in the comment section..i'll update.

And if anyone wants a post card...let me know. I'll be there before vegas. LOL!

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

...immediately, if you are reading this blog, and that title means something to you...you are already laughing. You know who you are.

So me and my friends...we blackmail one another. Its the nature of our friendship....really. We blackmail one another. I hold pictures of some of my friends, that would get them in a lot of trouble...with their parents. Thats right....their parents.

Like, for example....I have one picture. "The Secret Smoker". There are 2 pictures of said person, holding a cigarette...their parents dont know that they smoke. One of the pictures, could be a little questionable, becuase they might have been holding it for someone else. However, the second one...Its a close up of their head, and cigarette smoke swiriling out of their mouth. And not only do I have photographic evidence, I ALSO have video footage. When this person realized that they were being filmed, they said to the person videotaping "XX, I'm gonna fucking kill you". All because their afraid of their mother finding out.

I have another friend...and Ive got a picture of them holding a bong in front of their face, lighting it....This picture makes me laugh...a LOT. When I showed it to them, they flipped out, and said "well...you cant even tell thats me"....You can totally tell who it is. And yes, the bong may be covering their face, but haircut, and jewelry are a dead give away. Now, I understand that this picture might get you in a little more trouble than the "Secret Smoker"...but come on, we're between 25-30 years old.....isnt it time that we fess up our secret behavious? Either that, or keep clicking pictures you know, will be your saving grace. Thats the thing. With these pictures in my possession, I know for SURE..that no matter what I do, having these pictures, will keep me out of shit...at least for a while.

Actually, to be perfectly honest...i was going to do something nice. For these two peoples birthdays, I was going to wrap up the pictures, and the negatives, AND film....and give it to them as their gift. Level the playing feild to speak....However, one of these two people has ruined it for both of them...and I am no longer doing that....but am keeping these pictures under lock and key...for VALID reason. LOL!!! I've said it...I'm a mean adult...its okay.

They may be our parents, but we all know that they no longer have the authrity to punish us for our misdeeds. I feel that this secret behavior comes from fear of disappointing them. We know that said behavior would disappoint them, so instead of not doing them, we keep them secret.

I know for certain, that I am not perfect...and have some secret behaviors of my own. Like....for example. I pluck my eyebrows while i'm on the phone. LOL!!! Not always, but sometimes. And the other stuff? Well....Regardless of what I do that may be classified as "secret" it doesnt really matter...no one has a picture of it. =)

And then of course, Me and Miss Ash will always be here for counselling services, should you ever have a problem...we're therapy, for the financially challenged. I think her email is linked to her page...She doesnt know I volunteered her...but i'm sure she wont mind...Miss Ash Is ALSO available as a editor...send her your essays...she'll fix your spelling mistakes for you. *LOVE you Ash*

So come on people...if you want honorable mention on this blog...tell me what you do...offer your services...i'll advertise for you

- Got a message on one of those "Friend" sites, from someone I went to highschool with, and havent talked to him in 10 years. It made my whole day....

- Went to the grocery store, and saw my favorite Haagen Dazs of all time...i havent had it in about 5 years, so I picked some up...well. As we all know, Your dearest PP has recently discovered a chocolate allergy. Well, becuase it has been so many years since I ate it, that I forgot that there were chocolate covered peices of something in it....WHATEV!! Right?? I ate it anyway...and after about a half hour, was I ever sorry....migraine, irritability *more than usual*...itchy skin and eyes....It made me sad to throw the rest of it away....

- Got revenge...out of pure spite. I didnt think that i'd feel bad about it, but surprisingly, I really do....apparently I grew up...wonder when that happened.

- Was walking to the library today, about 2pm...there's a church on campus, as there is a seminary here...but I digress. I am walking past, when all of a sudden, a huge wedding party comes bursting out of the church, and running down the stairs...I was startled by this sudden burst of activity, that I kind of stopped walking to watch...They were moving rather quickly towards me, bride and groom leading the procession. Anyway, they veered to the right, and stopped about 5 feet in front of the path I was walking...and I found myself at the front of their receiving line. The bride looked and me, and said "Thank you...for...com...ing...to our Wedding???" I burst out laughing as I had a t-shirt and hospital pants on, and I said "I wasnt at your wedding, I was on my way to the library to study, and I just sort of happened to come along at this exact moment"...they laughed and I congratulated them, and they both wished me luck on my finals.

- Skip to 2 hours past that...I finish the readings that are on reserve, and decide to take off to go to the Italian Bakery that I love before it closes to pick up a few things. Since its such a nice day, I decide to park a bit away, and cut through the park to walk there.....As I'm making my way down towards the bakery, I'm NOT joking when I say that the SAME bridal party, is at that park getting their pictures done. Im headed in their direction, and cant believe the coincidence. The bride sees me, and does a double take, laughs, and says "Are you following us??"..I Laugh, and SWEAR that it is a total coincidence. The bride and groom think this is SO funny, they call their photographer over to take a picture with me in it. They say that they have a story for life...i dont disagree....The Bridesmaid dresses were the same color as my pink douvet..so pretty

- Came home to the building and see these two guys loading beer cases into the trunk of the car. As I wait for them to get out of the doorway, I hear the clinking, and look over to the trunk of the car, which is FULL of cases...I burst out laughing, and say "Oh my god, are all of those empty???" They assure me they are, and I head up the stairs. At the first landing, there are two shopping carts FULL of beer cases with empties. The guy whos bringing them down is right behind me, and laughs. I ask how many empties they have, he tells me they are getting about 150 dollars back. At 10 cents a bottle....we giggle about it, and i'm on my way

Other than that, you know, doctors appointments, studying...that sort of thing. Happy weekend people. I wont be back til Tuesday...after my exams are done.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Does Rigor Mortis affect the penis?? Do dead men maintain an erection for up to 72 hours?

I know that in some faiths, it is customary to bury the body within 24 hours of death....this may pose as a problem.

Doctors?? Morticians?? Inquiring minds want to know.

** To set all of your disgusting minds at ease. NO, I do not want to know for personal reasons. SICK Rawbean...sick...

Jennifer's picture of the dead bird was the inspiration for this ponderable. I made a joke about a rigor mortis christmas card, and one thing led to another...its how my mind works, and I refuse to apologize on it's behalf.

**DISCLAIMER - If you love the Lord, and are religious, and find Jesus humor offensive, Do NOT click on the links in the first confessional point. Otherwise, its a little sacriligious fun for those of you i'll meet in hell.

This week I:

- Read a blog by Big Ben. He wrote a post about what Jesus would do if he had the internet. I wanted to comment, but thought I would save it...I realized it had been a long time since I had been Here. I know I posted it before, but this time, its Wizard of Oz theme...OR, find this other horribly offensive one here *this one is brand new, and SUPER attrocious, I dont know what happened to the Easter themed one.*

- Actually had to tell someone who Annie Lennox was. He had no idea, and this guys like over 40...how do you not know who Annie Lennox is?

- Came up with a new alias for LD and myself for Vegas....We're gonna be other people for 4 days. Miss Ash is using one I gave her years ago, I have yeat to hear from Jennifer on the subject.

- Got a phone call from the "Crazy Guy" I confessed about last week. He wanted me to know that he was walking in my general area of the city, although he does not know what building I live in. I stood up to peek out the window to see if I could see him, and when I moved the curtains, he was standing right beneath my window. I jumped back so fast, to make sure he didnt see me, that i tripped over my bed, and wiped out....while I was still on the phone with him. I told him not to call me anymore, he creeps me out.

- Saw a guy wearing a pocket protector...for REAL, not just to be funny....I wanted to ask him about it, but I was late for class...

- Finished the semester, now I just have exams to worry about.

- Decided to stay in Windsor, and skip Easter this year...its best that way..too much chocolate around, too tempting.

- Started Volunteer, and I love it....i'm doing their intakes and Supervised access...for those of you who know what supervised access is, all of their visits take place in one room, at the same time, isnt that WIERD?? 1 staff, to 2 visits...it gets crazy.

- Walked home from class, and I got caught in a severe thunder storm...in a matter of 1 minute, I was soaked, and the thunder and lightening were cracking right over my head across the sky. It was awesome!! And I laughed when the thunder was so loud, it made me cover my ears....And then, of course, when I stepped into the parking lot, the clouds went away, and the sun came out....

- Bought "Honey" frozen yogurt....allow me to serve as a cautionary tale. Even if you love honey, more than life itself...this stuff? Its Nasty.

**UPDATE: Yrautca is a whiner, and wants his OWN sentence. This week, Yrautca came back to my blog to annoy me...and is doing so rather quickly....

- This week Hernesto ALSO came back to my blog....and has been more plesant than usual.

Thats it people....not a very exciting week...did lots of studying, and school stuff. Happy Long weekend everyone.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

So I go to a friends place last night....we're studying for finals, she's got three kids....they're playing Ouija....The plan to scare the life out of these kids is already formulating in my head.

I'm sitting there, sort of studying, sort of listening to them down the hall....one of them says its stupid, another one says they're scared....the phone rings, and while my friends on the phone, I walk down the hall and lean against the trim on the door, and watch.

They all look up at me...and again, one says that it's stupid, nothing's happening. I take FULL advantage of the situation. I say that it's not stupid, that the only reason it isnt working, is because they dont believe that it will....*of course ouija is stupid...I'm just getting them into it*....

I bend down and tell them that firstly, they should have ALL the lights off, and only a candle....and if they're too afraid to close the door, then have the lights in the hall off as well. And focus on what they're trying to do....My friend finds us, and says that her husbands car has broken down and she has to go pick him up would I mind watching her kids for a half hour?...PERFECT! This couldnt have gone any better if i'd planned it myself.

So with all the lights off, and mom gone, I head back around the corner to my studying.....I can hear them trying desperately to contact someone, and i quietly creep down the hall to the corner where the room is, fortunately, the room is around a corner of a hallway, they didnt hear, or see me.

I stand there, in the darkness, listening, and waiting.....One of them says the candle is flickering...one of them said they felt a cold breeze....the other one says "this is stupid, whos pushing it to the answers???"

After about 2 minutes, the one who thinks its stupid gives up and says "forget this, i'm going to watch tv"...and I hear him get up and head towards the door...when he makes it to the door to come out of the room, I jump out from behind the corner and throw my arms up, and make some sort of "Boo" noise.....all three of the scream at the top of their lungs, and the boy runs into the room, and slams the door, they're still screaming.

I burst out laughing, and turn on all the lights, i convince them to open the door, and they laugh about how scared they were....and when their mom and dad get home, they tell them what happened, and ask if I can watch them every day.

I remember Miss Ash used to make us play Ouija like this....she was a mean child....i'm a mean adult...it all evens out.

Monday, April 10, 2006

Tabooboo is a company that has dedicated itself to selling sex toys in vending machines. They have created the worlds first ever sex toy vending machines which are put in bars, clubs, gyms, shops and some hair salons in the UK, Italy , Holland, Japan and the US.

The website quotes "The funky bright pink tabooboo machines stock a selection of ever changing naughty goodies and are available to purchase, lease or on loan for exceptional venues throughout the world."

**I hope when they say Lease or Loan, they're talking about the vending machines, and NOT the toys inside of them....although, by the sounds of it, they're talking about the toys....EWWW....can you imagine?

I went through the rest of the Tabooboo Webpage, and although its mostly sex toys, everything is pink...Including the bondage tape.

If any of you ever come across one of these machines, email me...I wanna know.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

This has been a horrible week, for those of you who know what happened...And those of you who dont, I appologize in advance for the grouchiness.

This week I:

- Drank a mickey of Jagermeister in 2 hours....NEVER AGAIN...

- learned that my insecurities may not by my fault, but I can control them, or let them control me.

- had a decent "friend" conversation with an ex...he listened to me bitch, although it must have been hard for him to hear.....I dont know if there's anything I can do to thank him, I really needed him, as a friend...and he was there for me.

- Got accepted to teachers college....And at first, was upset about leaving, but after this week, I CANT WAIT to get out of here.

- told off a creepy guy who used to have a crush on me last semester....he's super persistant, and sorta freaks me out a little.....not to mention hes gross, and annoys the shit out of me.

- wrote 3 posts before this, and deleted all of them. I offended one of my readers....That I feel bad for, and am sorry.

- changed all the dates on my blog From English to Italian....just for fun.

- reconnected with someone from my past...i havent decided if its a good thing yet, or a diaster waiting to happen

- Oh ya, and I guess someone died on my floor a bit back, and they came and picked the person up at 5am today....the whole hallway smelled like decaying flesh....MMMMM.

...Thats it folks, not a very exciting week...like I said, i'm grouchy about a lot of things that happened, and I drank a lot, and obsessed..

I'm really glad this weeks over. Really....Tomorrow is the beginning of a new week, and since volunteer starts, i'm hoping that i keep myself busy, and out of trouble. I'm crossing my fingers for a better week than this past one.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

In my most recent Blogger confessional, the last comment I made was this:

- Found myself, for the first time in months, being wonderfully optimistic about life in Windsor. Things are starting to really turn around here.....schools almost done, volunteer is starting, and is most likely going to turn into a summer job.....and then theres the new guy....who i'm more than excited about....Not to mention it was almost 70 degrees here this past week. Life...this past week....was awesome.

Well...After feelings of finally beginning to feel settled...with new prospects, I got an email today that changed all of that.

I got in to teachers college...In Buffalo. 4 hours away from everything that I have established here, friends, volunteer...a new guy.....And in one email, my whole life became unsettled again. In a matter of 4 months, I will be moving back to St. Catharines, to live with my parents *shudder*, for a year while I do my Masters in Education.....

In one sense, i'm thrilled....I'm going to be able to get my degree, and travel the world with it. Which is what I wanted to do....but on the other hand...i'm sorta sad to know that i'm leaving everything I worked for here....And although I am happy about all the amazing friends i have made, and al lthe experiences I have had *like getting another degree, and shit like that* while I was here, I'm moving...again....picking up my life, and turning it upside down...again.

I need some advice. This new guy....i really like him...a lot. We spend every minute together, and blah blah blah....do I tell him i'm leaving, hang out for 4 months, and then call it quits? OR, call it quits now...before either of us gets too attached? I've done long distance....I promised myself never again. Its too hard. Who thinks what?

Monday, April 03, 2006

Honestly, This week for me, was VERY exciting. However, for blogging purposes, it wont be for you.

I met someone amazing this week....and every minute of my spare time has been devoted to getting to know this guy. As far as I can tell, he's too good to be true.

Other than that, this week I didnt do very much...but here it is, in no particular order.

- Was walking to school...and on the sidewalk someone had spraypainted some very rude comments on the sidewalk about the gay people who live in that house. And then, as I continued my way to school, I stepped into the parking lot, only to come across a car that had the BAD "N" word keyed into the hood of it. Each letter measuring about 6 inches high. I was horrified beyond words.

- Threw away everything that tied me to the guy who was in my life for the past 2 and a half years....including the jewelry I wore around my neck. And funny....He hasnt called me since January 2nd. When he contacted me to tell me that getting rid of me was the biggest mistake of his life, he found me on MSN *cheap bastard...cant even call me to tell me that*. Anyway, When I got rid of everything yesterday, that night, he decides to call me....of all nights. I couldnt believe it....I dont understand how guys have such impecable timing. And then, after not calling me for months...he was upset that I threw all that stuff away, and got some huge attitude, and them let me go. Of COURSE I told him....he kicked me out of his life, and if it was "the biggest mistake he ever made" (or so he says), then let it be. And he can sit in his decision. Good Riddance.

- found out Miss Ash is coming to Vegas with us....Love that.

- Got 90% of my readings done for my finals....which are still 22 days away.....I'm SO ahead of my schedule.

- Met with those volunteer people finally.....when I sat and interviewed with them, they were wondering how they found me, becuase i'm qualified to do everything their organization does...and when i said that I found them, they assured me that a job was being posted internally before the end of the month. Thank god...i'm so bored.

- Loved my comment section the last couple of posts.....its fun how you also comment to eachother, and reply to eachother in my comment section. Hey..Me Casa et Su Casa...

- Found myself, for the first time in months, being wonderfully optimistic about life in Windsor. Things are starting to really turn around here.....schools almost done, volunteer is starting, and is most likely going to turn into a summer job.....and then theres the new guy....who i'm more than excited about....Not to mention it was almost 70 degrees here this past week. Life...this past week....was awesome.