Guide to the 2015 Canadian election

The Ex-Press takes its democratic duties seriously, and is happy to bring you this definitive Guide to the 2015 Canadian election. As a responsible media outlet, we feel obliged to offer readers our considered opinion as to the party and leaders best suited to govern our country.

Such choices are always difficult. However, we have been inspired by the Globe and Mail of Toronto, which has endorsed the Conservative Party but not its leader, Stephen Harper. “His party deserves to be re-elected. But after Oct. 19, he should quickly resign,” the Globe wrote.

Up until now, members of the Ex-Press editorial board did not realize such distinctions were possible. Now that we know, we are pleased to offer you our choice for Oct. 19.

Ex-Press believes that the best choice for Canadians is an NDP government, however, with a different leader: José Bautista. Both deserve consideration but surely Bautista’s beard is less flawed than that of the present NDP incumbent, Thomas Mulcair.

Also, there are parts of the NDP, notably in southeastern New Brunswick, that are not up to the standards we expect from a political party. Therefore, the Ex-Press editorial board respectfully asks voters to consider Green Party candidates in that part of the province, with the proviso that party leader Elizabeth May resign as leader and be replaced by Kermit the Frog.

It goes without saying that the Conservative leader, Stephen Harper, deserves re-election, but not his party, unless it wears a niqab. The Liberal leader, Justin Trudeau also deserves election, but in the opinion of the Ex-Press editorial board it is to be hoped that he changes his last name, which is unacceptable in Alberta.

It is with no small amount of humility that we offer our choices. Even if you disagree, it is your responsibility to exercise your franchise and also vote, unless you live in certain Vancouver ridings and parts of Northern Ontario, in which case you shouldn’t.