In a new study to find the cause of misogyny, Dr Warren Davis, from the University of Males Leading the Way in Research, has found the number one reason for misogyny.

Davis’ extensive research in the cause of misogyny begins at the primal urges of males and their competitive nature.

“It comes down to competition and trying to outdo each other,” Dr Davis said. “Males have a tendency to want to be better and fight for alpha position, and the only way to win alpha position basically comes down to who has the biggest penis.”

Dr Davis noticed that the males with the bigger penises would act aggressively towards the males who weren’t so gifted and treat them as they would treat women.

“When this became clear, I automatically thought, voilà! The obvious cause for misogyny is that females have the smallest penises.”

Dr Davis and his team are now raising funds for research into penis enlargement for women.

After rising to ultimate fame as a contemporary clown, Iggy Azalea has decided to call it quits and take up a career in hip-hop.

“I’ve always loved hip-hop ever since I was in high school. MC Hammer, Vanilla Ice, and Marky Mark are my biggest influences.”

Azalea’s debut release is still in the works and there have been rumours of guest appearances from K-Fed, Fred Durst, and “that guy from the boy-band Five”. The album looks to be a contender for album of the year at the Grammys next year.

Azalea’s family comes from a long line of clowns, her dad only just retiring from his clown gig after 45 years.

It will be a smooth transition into hip-hop, because most of her clown act incorporates hip-hop beats and dance routines.

When asked why she quit, Azalea told The Gournalist, “I reached the peak of my clown act, emotionally and spiritually, and it’s time for a change. Hip-hop is my calling and I’m going to change the game.”

Harrington decided to see what all the fuss was about and was highly disappointed when he saw like every other nude person—woman or man—that Lawrence was just as disappointingly naked like everyone else.

“I was expecting something exciting and original, maybe a little unusual, but I was left disappointed, like the title of this article suggests. I could have typed in ‘nude person’ into Google and got the same result,” Harrington told The Gournalist.

We asked about whether or not this issue was a sex crime or just a disregard of personal technology when considering phone hacking, Harrington replied, “The real crime here is that people still get excited over naked people. I mean we’re all naked under our clothes anyway.”

Mr Harrington did the whole interview in the comfort of his own nakedness.

Local dead man, Marlow Owen, was charged yesterday after obstructing eight warning shots fired by police in Stafford, just outside of Brisbane.

Owen, after robbing a service station, was approached by police after they received a stress call from service station attendant, Gary Jenkins.

After provoking police with a Redskin, which he had stolen, police fired eight warning shots.

Owen, who happened to be in the line of fire, received all eight bullets in the face.

“I acted swiftly and justly. I have a wife and two children. Owen was an unstable character and if I hadn’t fired the standard eight warning shots, who would’ve known what could have happened,” said Constable Greg Caveney.

Owen has been arrested and charged with robbery, possession of dangerous weapon, and obstructing eight warning shots.

Owen will stand trial later in the week and could possibly serve up to seven years imprisonment without parole.

The purpose of the ice bucket challenge is to raise awareness for ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis) and the stunt has gone viral on the internet where even celebrities are getting in on it.

There has been some doubt on whether or not the ice bucket challenge is useless and an out-right joke, but the fact that it is raising awareness can be seen as a positive outcome.

Because of its popularity, the Australian government has created a new challenge to raise awareness for smoking-related cancer, in hopes of increasing donations for research. The challenge is called the ‘five-pack-a-day smoking challenge.’

To partake in the challenge the challenger must smoke five packets of cigarettes within half an hour. The aim is for a non-smoker to realise the effort it takes for one to smoke so many cigarettes and, with any luck, generate some sympathy for smokers who put a lot of effort in doing what they do.

Other efforts are being made to raise awareness for other illnesses, diseases, and anything in general, but some have not been so successful. The ‘fire bucket challenge’ to raise awareness for head lice has already taken 48 lives. The challenge is similar in that the challenger empties a bucket-load of fire onto their head in the hope to clear the infestation of head lice.

A new survey has shown that most university students engage in sexual intercourse while under the heavy influence of alcohol.

This new study, conducted on 40 students, both male and female, shows that when students are engaging in sexual intercourse they prefer to do it while drunk

Daniel Morgan told The Gournalist, “It’s better if you’re both drunk, because if you under perform it’s a lot easier to blame the booze rather than your lack of experience.”

Another student, Alana Harrison, told The Gournalist, “Sex is so boring when you’re sober. Everything is a lot more intense and sometimes you don’t want it to be. Having eight of nine drinks before sex makes it more fun and you’re both more willing to, you know, go down on each other.”

The information gathered from the recent survey shows that a lot of male university students suffer from erectile dysfunction, most likely caused by the constant consumption of excessive alcohol.

A very in-depth and extensive study done on new studies that look at various social issues has shown that in the process of doing these new studies, other studies are created.

This study has founded a centre of ‘New Studies’ that allows all sorts of people to volunteer themselves to be studied.

The New Studies centre has employed psychologists, social workers, various researchers working in anthropology, archaeologists, musicians, actors, football players, beer drinkers, people who have casual sex with other people who like to have casual sex, women, men, children, the LGBT community, politicians, and even journalists.

After the grand opening of the New Studies centre, a new study was done on people doing grand openings on new buildings and centres and the social impact it has on the community.

Although the Harry Potter movie series has come to an end, teenage boys around the world still continue to fantasise about actress, Emma Watson.

“She’s so friggen hot. The things I’d do to get with her,” said president of the Emma Watson Appreciation Society (EWAS), John James. “I set up this society for people who drool at the sight of her like I do and now we’re approaching two million members worldwide.”

The scene involving a passionate kiss between Watson and co-actor Rupert Grint in the last Harry Potter film in the series increased her male fan base tenfold with numerous, sickly obsessed guys claiming, “if Ron can get with her then I sure as hell can.”

When asked what it was about Watson that inspired him to create this growing group, James said, “her hotness,” before shamelessly admitting, “neither me nor any members of the EWAS have any interest in her personal life or who she is as a person.”

In fact, very few of her male fans know anything about her at all aside from the fact that ‘she is smoking hot’.

“Yeah man she’s hot as, but I have no idea who she is as a person. I just want to get with her is all. Like isn’t she American or something?” said Watson fan and EWAS member Justin Costello.

“I would actually make my own sandwiches if I was going out with her,” said another sadly infatuated fan, Jobe Henderson.

When asked about her thoughts on her online appreciation society, Watson herself claimed the members to be “a bunch of creepy, self-degrading lowlifes who don’t have a fucking chance with me.”