HOT TOPICS:

WIN BEN STEIN'S BRAIN! He certainly doesn't seem to be using it these days. After last night's appearance on Larry King Live in which he couldn't say enough good things about Barack Obama's trip to the Mideast -- "He seemed to be much better briefed on what was going on in Iraq than Senator McCain. I was absolutely floored at what a good job he did, and my head is just spinning ... he is the most masterful campaigner, I think, of my lifetime" -- AND squeezed in a plea for higher taxes, we can only assume that Ben Stein's been possessed by some kind of left-wing demon.

His line on taxes was straight out of the Democrats' class-warfare playbook: "We have a very, very, very rich one percent of this country. They're paying much less of a percent of their income in tax than they ever have since the Great Depression. Let's change that and tax them more ... if they can afford to pay more tax, let's give it to the people who need it." If there was a punch line, Ben forgot to reveal it. Anyone know a good exorcist?

IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE AN UMBILICAL CORD REATTACHED? America's great summer camp tradition has taken a disturbing twist. Betsy Hart, syndicated columnist and radio host, regaled today's listeners with tales of obsessive moms and dads who can't get through a single day without checking on their little snowflakes 10 times. Sneaky parents have started sending their kids off to camp with two phones -- one to hand over to camp officials and another for secretly texting home. Some even sew the second cell phone inside stuffed animals to avoid detection!

Three of Betsy's four kids are now at summer camp. In a recent column, Betsy wrote that her biggest concern isn't checking in with them every five minutes, but rather "bringing up resilient kids who can confidently engage with their world." It's called growing up, and kids learning they can survive a week or two without constant reassurance from mom and dad is an important part of it.