The Trouble with Dogs Today

“As I lie on the TV cleaning my head with a wet paw, more viscerally than ever, I know who my family is.”

Though born and raised as a dog myself, I’ve noticed a lot of problems with domesticated doghood during my tenure as a personality in catmedia.

Perverted from Nature

Descended from the meekest wolves that early humans were able to enslave with treats, we dogs are a human-engineered variety of a species that has strayed far from nature and has had its predatory instincts perverted.

For example, hunting dogs will bite into a wild moose or deer and then leave it to die, not hanging around to feed off of it or to share with the packs that wolves hang with. The injured animal will wander around for days or weeks, slowly dying of infection and blood loss. Meanwhile, the dog will be hungry a few hours later and may attack another deer and leave it to slowly die in pain as well.

We no longer know how to hunt effectively or sustainably, but retain a semblance – a perversion – of our predator past. Because of this, we dogs are a menace to our environment.

Catmedia personality Fluffy Canofelini

Self-harming and dependent

We dogs have been so dumbed down by our forced inbreeding and torture-like training, that we will actually eat ourselves to death. Trained to respond to treats the way that human children do – as a symbol of love and security – we domesticated dogs, unlike the original wolf, will eat treats until our stomachs explode.

Likewise, because we are so often forced to be the entertaining slaves of another species, we’re trained to do useless tricks that will not help us survive. Domesticated dog puppies who are “liberated” from their masters a few months after Christmas every year often try to survive in the woods by chasing falling sticks, giving out their paw to a larger species, or rolling over and playing dead. Perhaps the last trick is actually the most useful one that human masters have taught us.

Franken-species

Dogs are the original GMOs, having been inbred and genetically engineered over the course of many generations. And to add insult to injury, we mutant by-products of inbreeding are routinely tortured (humans call this training) in order to get us to further abandon any instinctive skills or behavior we may have retained through the inbreeding process.

We unlearned how to survive, and were re-educated to be obedient instead. Not only does this render us entirely dependent on our human hosts, but it also gives us a value system that hurts other dogs who are less obedient and more survival oriented. This is why chained dogs will often bark angrily at a dog that has no chain around his neck: the domesticated dog has learned to detest real freedom, and instead, associates human-given rewards with success and survival.

This is a perversion, of course, and I can still recall my father coming back in the house with blood all over his fur after having picked a hateful fight with our Collie neighbor, Kipper. Kipper’s only crime: being allowed to stay outside for hours at a time without a leash.

The Circle of Fake

Of course, human elites have performed a similar crime against other humans as well, rendering most of them survival-illiterate just like us domesticated dogs. And this may provide the only glimmer of hope. If humans die off before we do due to their own inbred perversion of nature – their nation states, their special super-breeds, and their magical ideologies and myths… if we modified wolves outlive our Dr. Frankenstein torturers, we might finally be free to mate with whomever we want. And then let’s hope we can still retrieve our natural balance and find our way back to a natural and sustainable wolfhood.