Looking for a hard working, honest, middle aged male, who likes to finish second. Responsiblities are as follows: Meet me at my car, open my door, retrieve my gym bag, carry it into the gym, prepare all pre-workout supplementation, towel me off, return my gym bag to the car, open my door, give me a thumbs up sign for finishing first and wave to me as I drive off.

If qualified, send me a resume to fill this position while Thom is in Minnesota for the week.

Chad appreciates you making a post in response to the open position. Unfortunately, due to the fact that there is no “Modifier” for carrying his gym bag, you remain unqualified for the position. We wish you luck in finding a position more suitable to your current skill set.