Monthly Archives: December 2013

Laura appears, making her way through the building sneaky-like. (She’s changed clothes and put her hair up, so this must occur some time after the previous scene)

The warehouse (?) is a kind of maze of arcade games, with strange beeps and electronic noises …

Suddenly the noise level ramps up. There are flashing lights and bells and whistles! Laura is unnerved.

She wends through the maze of machines, growing increasingly desperate. She rounds a corner, and …

SCREAMS!

It’s creepy Izzy – up close and personal!

Cut to …

… Mr. Steele and Arnock, outside the latter’s hotel. Steele is happy that Emery agreed to be driven to the airport. It will give them a chance to get to know one another better!

Mr. Arnock wants to be sure he won’t be late for his plane.

Steele tells him not to worry; they’re only making one brief stop!

Cut back to …

… Laura, looking wary.

She is presented a glass of water and asked if she’s feeling better.

Creepy Izzy is seriously invading her personal space! He explains that he set up the scary security system because he works alone at night. She informs him it’s very effective. He responds that the system is completely harmless – it’s just sound. Laura wants to know if that’s what he does for the games – create the sounds.

“Take my sounds off a game and what do you have? Colored lights and a TV screen,” he answers. He tells her he had intended to pass his note to Mr. Steele, but when he fell into her arms …

“May I touch your face?” He asks abruptly. “You have a lovely voice, and I’d very much like a picture to go with it.”

Whoa. CREEPY ALERT!

Laura reluctantly agrees to let Creepy Izzy fondle her.

As Izzy begins performing the Vulcan Mind Meld on Laura, she asks him what he wanted to see Mr. Steele about.

Laura soldiers on, even as Creepy Izzy gets creepier. “You think George took Deep Water?” she asks. Izzy says the theft of the $5 million was probably just a cover. George hated the takeover and fought it every step of the way.

“Mmmm. Good bone structure.”

As Izzy’s hands find their way around Laura’s throat, she asks him if he thinks George was trying to strip Ratooi bare before the merger.

“I like your choice of words,” Izzy says as his hands begin to drift downward. He says George would do anything to hang on to Ratooi. The company is his whole life.

“It seems there was still room for a girlfriend,” Laura comments as his hand slips inside her blouse. Um … when does Laura get around to kicking this guy in the groin? But news of George’s girlfriend seems to cool Izzy down.

He removes his hands and backs away. “Excuse me, Miss Holt. I think I forgot to lock the door behind you. It’s very late.” He leaves Laura alone in the office.

Laura is visibly relieved.

This was a genuinely scary scene, don’t you think? I believe we were meant to wonder whether Laura was going to be raped by this weirdo. It’s a darker scene that we’ve seen before on the series, IMO. Laura’s fear was palpable as Izzy touched her, yet she remained calm and kept doing her job. I wonder what she would have done if his hands had kept roaming? How far is Laura willing to go for information? I look forward to your thoughts on this disturbing scene!

“Promises, promises,” Laura mutters, as she hands him the receiver. Steele tries to make nice with Mr. Arnock.

The scream coming from the other end of the line suggests Mr. Arnock isn’t glad to hear from him!

Lots going on in this seemingly simple scene! We see Laura’s disappointment that Mr. Steele went back on his word (Remington Steele’s word is his bond!). I think she’s angry with herself, also, for trusting him. For his part, Mr. Steele is wounded by Laura’s resentment – he knows that he intended to see Arnock as promised … just as soon as he solved the case with his brilliant sleuthing! He is startled when she admits she’s uncomfortable with the thought that he might be a competent investigator, and when she challenges him about his braggadocio, he admits he’s essentially winging it. Allowing Laura to see his less confident side is a big step for him, I think – and I also believe Laura appreciates that, too. But that doesn’t mean he won’t get his nose rapped for stepping out of line! Again she refuses to acknowledge that he has developed good information, and punishes him by making him face Arnock. What are your thoughts on what this scene says about their relationship?

Our next scene opens with Mr. Steele exiting an elevator in the company of a woman:

“I just love surprise parties!” she tells Mr. Steele.

I must say, Mr. Steele is looking very distinguished here.

One might even say Napoleonic!

It’s been suggested that Napoleon adopted his signature gesture because it was, in his time, a pose that conveyed a man of “breeding and manly boldness, tempered with modesty.” Do you think that fits Mr. Steele?

Steele tells the woman he was surprised that someone named Beatrice forgot to leave the key as she had promised – stranding him in a limousine full of warm champagne.

Mr. Steele rather flirtatiously invites the lady back later to “tip a few” with them. He knows George would be glad to see her again … as would he!

The woman (can we assume apartment manager) seems tempted, but admits she and George have never been formally introduced. And, she notes, Beatrice seems to take up a lot of his time. The lady takes her leave with a hearty …

“Surprise!” (Perhaps the biggest surprise is what this woman is wearing, and how far her blouse is open without betraying a hint of bosom. Dude looks like a lady?)

Steele answers with a little heh-heh before letting himself into the apartment. (Hey, look! It’s another plastic tree. Boy, those must have been really popular in the 80s.)

He finds an apartment crowded with electronic clutter …

… and leftover Chinese takeout.

There’s that nose-touching gesture we’ve seen before. Either the leftovers smell bad, or Mr. Steele is feeling guilty about deceiving the apartment manager. (But I think she deceived him even more – she’s a man, baby!)

Steele next discovers a bit circuit board, which seems to be finger-lickin’ good …

… and finally sniffs a half-empty glass. Mr. Steele seems to have a nose for this kind of work!

Uh, oh! Someone’s coming. Steele beats a hasty retreat.

A young woman enters. She’s also wearing a very low cut top. Seems to be a theme in this episode! (And look! Another plastic tree! The production company must have got a good deal one those in bulk.) Meanwhile, Steele is hustling to find a hiding spot.

Ah, the old hide behind the curtain trick! Note to Mr. Steele: I believe you are actually supposed to hide behind the curtain to pull this off.

Unfortunately, Mr. Steele steps on the TV remote with his expensive shoe. A loud western starts blaring!

“Who’s in there?” the girl calls out.

Mr. Steele scrambles to turn off the TV!

“There’s no reason to be shy, honey,” the girl continues. “George told me he found someone else.”

Steele is still fumbling with the TV controls!

The girl comes upon Mr. Steele bottoms up on the bed. I don’t think he’s who she was expecting!

Awkward!

“Oh, dear God!” she exclaims.

“When George threw me over a week ago because he’d found someone else, I never figured he meant …” She gathers up her belongings and flees the bedroom

Mr. Steele can’t have his manhood impugned! (Ha! Ha! Remember when it was okay to make fun of gay people?)

He follows the girl out.

“No! No! No!” he insists. “I don’t think you quite understand!”

Oh, she understands, all right. “No wonder he bought me a one-way ticket to Jamaica. Who wants me around when he’s going start over with … oh, dear God.”

“Wait a minute!” Steele realizes. “You must be the Beatrice she meant!”

Nope. She’s Cynthia Denard, for the record. Steele tries to introduce himself, but she knows more than she wants to already!

Steele tells her they need to talk. George could be in trouble!

“You’re telling me!” she retorts.

And then Cynthia runs away, because gay people are, you know, scary (sheesh).

“Why is it always the gorgeous ones,” she says in parting. (Well, I’ll give her that one.)

Mr. Steele, in pursuit, rushes to the other elevator.

Surprise! Laura wants to know what Steele is doing here – he’s supposed to be at Arnock’s hotel!

“Let’s not stand here in the corridor and snap at each other like commoners, eh?” Steele says.

I’ll stop there. This episode is pretty un-PC, isn’t it? First smirking at Hispanics, now joking about gays. Times have changed. We get a sense of Mr. Steele’s investigative style here. He searches diligently for clues, though one senses he doesn’t really know what he’s looking for. And his hiding skills need some serious honing – hard to believe he was a successful burglar in the past! Pierce Brosnan’s physical comedy chops are well on display here; his scrambling around the bedroom is genuinely funny. What do you make of Mr. Steele’s comment about “commoners”? With what we later find out about his background (spoiler alert!), it’s rather interesting. He perhaps is familiar with the sight of “commoners” arguing in hallways.

Murph finds Laura playing what is apparently a solar-powered arcade game in the parking lot. He calls to his “partner.”

(Hm. Is Murphy trying to establish himself as Laura’s equal, or reinforce the idea that he and Laura are a duo, in contrast to the outsider, Steele?)

Laura thanks him for getting there so fast, and tells him their Mr. Steele has stumbled onto something!

Murphy is … delighted ? … by this news! “You don’t mean you’re letting him work on a case!” he asks.

“Give me a little credit,” she tells Murphy. If she told Steele that, she’d never get him to Arnock! She asks Murphy what their travel people told him. He informs her that two days ago a George Kaplan bought a ticket on flight 952 to Vegas – one way. Laura tells Murphy to start packing: he’s going to Vegas.

Murphy wants to know why nobody ever skips town to Maui, or even Acapulco.

Oh, Murph. If only you’d hung in there another season!

In this scene, we see Laura being a little underhanded with Mr. Steele, not giving him credit for stumbling on to the case and making him believe she’s not really that interested in it. I can’t help feeling a little bad for Steele, who genuinely seems to feel some commitment to helping Albie and co. Or is it more that he wants to work closely with Laura, as he suggested in the previous scene? We’re beginning to see a little tug-of-war here between Steele and Murphy. Steele asks Laura what “we” do next, thus placing himself in partnership with her. Murphy refers to her as his partner. I wonder which gentleman will prevail?

Still, Steele declares it a “compelling lead.” He asks Laura if she agrees. She does!

Mr. Steele informs the clients that Miss Holt will be working very closely with him on the case.

“As closely as possible, Mr. Steele,” she confirms.

I think this scene shows how well Mr. Steele already knows Laura. He was certain that if he got her to the “scene of the crime,” as it were, her curiosity would be piqued and she’d want to take the case. We also find out that the Ratooi crew is not one big, happy family; things definitely seem tense between Albie and Sheila. Perhaps the biggest mystery is how a blind man can develop video games. Presumably we’ll find out more about this later!

“If Mr. Steele thinks my time is so easily wasted …” he is grousing as Steele arrives.

Mr. Steele makes his grand entrance, apologizing for his delay. “The flights from Bogota grow less reliable by the day.” Arnock is confused; he thought Steele was stuck in traffic!

“My staff are instructed to say that whenever I’m out of the country,” Steele explains.

But now he’d like a word with his associate!

Arnock protests as Steele leads Laura away.

“Just two minutes. Perhaps some coffee while you wait?” He assures Arnock that Bernice will be right in with a fresh pot.

Based on Laura’s reaction, I’m not sure she appreciates Mr. Steele’s clever ruse. But aren’t they a cute couple? They even dress in matching outfits!

In the filing room, Steele and Laura launch into one of their patented jousting matches.

SHE: “You’re doing this intentionally, aren’t you!”

HE: “Laura, I was abducted by a gang of Latin youths!”

“Oh, please!” Laura snaps. “I like the Bogota story better!” She reminds him she’s had to stall Arnock for TWO HOURS.

“It’s true!” Steele protests. “What’s more, I’ve found us a client!”

Laura ain’t buyin’ it. She asks him what it was “this time” – an unpaid bookie? (Apparently this isn’t the first time Mr. Steele has failed to show up on command, and Laura’s mention of an unpaid bookie suggests Mr. Steele still has a few side games going.)

Aw. Poor Mr. Steele. He was so excited to tell Laura about the new case he’d stumbled on to, but she doesn’t seem impressed.

Puppy Steele is sad.

Laura reminds him of their arrangement: “We will find the clients. We will do the work.”

“You just put in an appearance when we need it, maybe make a good impression.”

“WHY? WHY WON’T YOU DO THIS?”

Steele declares he won’t let his natural talent for this work go ignored! Laura reminds him that he has no training whatsoever.

“But a rare instinct!” Steele argues.

“Call it a gift, if you will.”

“I WON’T.”

Mr. Steele won’t be deterred …

“Think of it, Laura: The two of us working together, hand in glove … midnight skull sessions … breathless searches for evidence … long hours in cramped quarters …”

Hm. I think he may be getting through to her!

“We simply can’t function like this,” Laura says dejectedly.

“We can try.”

Just as the moment was getting … interesting … Bernice barges in.

“I just thought you’d like to know Arnock’s gone.” She suggests the “real thing” might have been too much for him. Steele says he’ll try and take that as a compliment!

Arnock’s flight doesn’t leave until 8:15 – Laura thinks maybe they can catch him before he leaves!

“Perfect!” Steele declares. “It’s right on the way.”

“What’s right on the way?” Laura calls after him.

Interesting dynamic between Steele and Laura in this sequence! Steele is glib and authoritative with Arnock, showing that he can play the role of “top dog” very effectively when he wants to. However, his battle with Laura shows again that he’s not satisfied with the figurehead role. He genuinely believes he can be successful in this job (as he has likely been successful in every other pose he’s every adopted) and is disappointed and frustrated that Laura refuses to see him as anything other than window dressing. Laura, for her part, feels increasingly desperate and frustrated herself – she is a woman who needs to feel in control, and her wayward fantasty-turned-reality isn’t cooperating! Her genuine anguish when she declares, “We can’t function this way,” shows how torn she is by the situation. The idea of working closely with this enigmatic, alluring mystery man is so appealing – yet represents such a risk to her agency, and her heart.

Fred the Chauffeur is played by stand-up comedian Blake Clark. This was his first recurring role on a series; he appears in seven episodes.

While Fred waits resignedly for his superior to appear …

… Mr. Steele is getting to know his captors, whom he mistakenly assumes were sent by his irate “underling.”

“I sensed Laura was upset, but this was hardly necessary,” he complains. He figures out that the thugs aren’t from the agency and decides to make nice.

“Que pasa?” he inquires.

The pink car continues on its purposeful course, and we are given another clue that these guys have no respect for the law:

They totally run a red light!

The baddies take Mr. Steele to what appears to be an underground garage and muscle him out of the car. He’s still waiting for an explanation and makes another slightly slightly racist remark.

“Can’t we discuss this over a brandy and some tortillas?” (Oh, Mr. Steele. You’re better than that.) The guys hustle a protesting Mr. Steele out of sight, inexplicably leaving behind one guy …

… who perhaps is worried about messing up his mullet with too much rough-housing.

The mullet hairstyle has a long and ignoble history. It was known as far back as 1500 BC, when it was sported by Hittite warriors. Mark Twain was credited with creating the term “mullet” in his timeless classic Huckleberry Finn. The mullet began to rise in popularity in the 1970s, peaked in the 1980s and officially jumped the shark with Billy Ray Cyrus and Michael Bolton’s exaggerated styles in the early 90s. Will it make another comeback? Let’s hope not.

The less meticulously coiffed bad guys push Steele around a bit.

Always a gentleman, even under the most trying circumstances, the great detective asks if his oppressors mind if he smokes. He withdraws a gold cigarette case from his inside pocket

But wait! That’s no cigarette case! It’s a sneaky secret gun!

The bad guys hit the road in a hurry!

But wait! That’s no sneaky secret gun! Its a cigarette lighter! But who is that fellow who just popped up behind Mr. Steele?

The little man apologizes to Mr. Steele for his abduction. “I had no choice!” he proclaims. Mr. Steele is not placated.

“Am I to understand that you arranged this little get-together?” he demands? The little man explains that the thugs are really “good boys” who clean the offices at night.

The little man tells Steele that he had to hire the “good boys” to kidnap him, because he sits behind a computer all day and “isn’t equipped for that kind of trouble.” He hands Steele his card.

“Now look at me. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. Food won’t even come near my mouth. And if my fingernails get any shorter, my hands are going to need corrective surgery.”

“You want my help,” Steele says, beginning to understand. Albie tells him that Ratooi is about to merge with Gruff & Reston Industries. But his partner, George, has disappeared!

“Gone. Erased. Blipped right off the screen of life.” Albie says it’s not like George to go missing; he’s getting “heavy mayday signals here.” How will he find George before the merger deal?

“You’re certain there’s been foul play?”

Albie tells Steele that if he woke up one morning and his right arm were gone, he’d know something had to go bump in the night! (Huh?)

Steele tells Albie to calm himself; he’s done the right thing … albeit a little clumsily. Albie reiterates that he’s out of his depth on this one:

“This is more reality than I’m used to dealing with.”

Steele wants to know who George is. Albie says his title is vice president, “but really we all do it together.” That is, Izzy, Sheila, George and himself. They formed Rattoi in grad school, whipped up a couple of video games, then … “Bammo!” He says none of them were prepared for their sudden success. Even worse, their good fortune has started attracting attention from “men in big, black limousines” who want to take them to lunch.

“Or it could be that someone is trying to stop the merger,” Albie answers. It seems Gruff & Reston have been buying up shares of Ratooi; if they don’t finalize the merger as planned, the conglomerate will own controlling interest in the game maker. The upstarts from Ratooi had agreed to the merger, provided the whole staff stayed on. Now that George has vanished, the whole deal might collapse!

I’ll leave it there for now. What do you make of Mr. Steele’s James Bondesque cigarette case that converts to a gun-lighter? What about his condescending comments to the Hispanic youths? Albie is a creepy little fellow, IMO. His shirt open to the waist, that gold chain … it almost seems like he’s trying to be something different from who he really is (the nerdy tech guy). Is Steele motivated primarily by Albie’s promise of a big payoff to take this case, as he was with the Dillon Electronics case? Tell me what you think!

And so we start on episode 3 of the first season – an episode with a very special milestone! Without further ado …

Our title card finds us at a marina, where many expensive-looking boats are moored. As we tour the marina, we get an itemization of tonight’s guest stars, to wit:

When he guested here, Scolari was just coming off a two-year stint in “Bosom Buddies” with Tom Hanks. Though perhaps not as successful as his costar in that series, Scolari has continued to work very regularly in television and occasional films. His idmb profile lists 88 credits, the most recent of which is a 2013 short film.

Mr. Wallace was a prolific character actor, with credits going back to 1951. This is the first of two appearances on Remington Steele (as different characters). He also had two guest spots on “Scarecrow & Mrs. King” and “Moonlighting.” His last credit was as God (!) in Joan of Arcadia in 2004; he died in 2005. RIP, George!

Betty Kennedy seems to be best known for a role in “Cheech & Chong’s Next Movie” (1980) which doesn’t bode well for her longevity. And indeed, her idmb credits cease after 1989. Roxanne Hart is a very familiar face who also continues active to the present. Interestingly, she is married to Philip Casnoff.

Yep. The ill-fated Ben Pearson!

Meanwhile, back on the show …

We observe the departure of a boat called the Toodle-Loo (and also that the show is produced by Gareth Davies, but we already knew that).

Davies, incidentally, has an impressive track record. He also produced “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and the cult favorite, “Firefly.”

Ah, our episode was written by Lee Zlotoff. Remember that name: he is credited as writer on seven episodes, among them (IMO) some of the best of the series. He also served as executive story consultant and executive producer on the series.

We next see a chest hanging over the moonlit water. It teeters on the brink, then …

… splash! As it falls we hear a disembodied voice: “Goodbye, George.” Mysterious!

A screen swipe segue reveals Laura at the office, looking slightly nervous as she addresses someone on the phone: “I thought you were going to join me for the meeting with Emery Arnock.” I wonder if that’s Emery behind her?

Looks like she’s talking to Steele, not Murphy. The Great Detective is breakfasting on his patio, sporting a robe and ascot.

Although the ascot is technically appropriate for morning dress, its place in popular culture is sketchy at best:

Mr. Steele is not impressed by being called in to schmooze the owner of a chain of supermarkets: “Really, Laura. Don’t you think produce peddling is a bit far afield for the Remington Steele Agency?”

“Not when he wants a security profile done on all 32 of his stores.”

“Still,” Steele demurs, “The thought of you trudging up all those supermarket aisles …”

Laura assures him that she likes supermarkets, but “it’s going to take an hour or so with the dependable and reassuring Mr. Steele to close the deal for us.”

Steele says if Laura really feels it’s important, he’ll call for the car. She tells him the car will be waiting for him by the time he gets downstairs. Steele thanks her for her thoughtfulness.

“I’m twisted that way,” she explains.

Meanwhile, back in Steele’s executive office …

… Mr. Arnock declines the offer of a refill.

Laura returns and tells Arnock that Mr. Steele is stuck in traffic but is eager to meet with him. “Another refill in the interim?” Nope.

Steele emerges from his apartment, looking dapper!

A man of rare sensitivity, Mr. Steele stops to smell the roses … or whatever that is.

He is accosted by a delivery guy, who asks him where he might find Mr. Remington Steele. Mr. Steele identifies himself, at which point …

Whack!

Oof!

Argh!

Mr. Steele is surrounded and overpowered by a gang of thugs!

He is muscled into their car, which matches Mr. Steele’s posy!

The baddies speed away with Mr. Steele in their ride, which really is a startling shade of pink!

Wow – those Mary Kay ladies are getting a little aggressive with their recruiting techniques!

I’ll leave it there for now. Mr. Steele seems to have gotten himself into a bit of a fix! That’ll teach Laura to call him in at the crack of dawn noon. Once again we see the Steele Agency involved in providing security. Methinks this type of work was their bread and butter before Mr. Steele arrived on the scene … but I get the feeling he’d like them to up the excitement level of their caseload. He may just get his wish!

Sorry for the delay in getting to the final post on this episode – too much turkey! Anyway ….

The tag opens with a long shot from above of the Steele limo on a fairly traffic-heavy LA thoroughfare:

The shot cuts abruptly to …

… the front page of the Los Angeles Register (“Largest Circulation in the West!” according to its nameplate). It seems the brilliant detective Remington Steele has done it again! (And also that “Building-Loan Men to Hold Banquet for Jubilee Date.” That seems like a legit item for the front page!

A cursory search of the Internet suggests that no newspaper by the name of the Los Angeles Register exists. However, in 1982 The Register was a daily published out of Santa Ana, California. It changed its name to the Orange County Register in 1985. As far as I can tell, it does not claim to have the Largest Circulation in the West.

We hear Mr. Steele expressing mild outrage about the press coverage of his triumph. As he browses the curiously photo-free interior of the newspaper, he frets:

“Really Laura, this is shocking. If I were you, I’d have a word with the press.”

“Do you realize that not one of these stories mentions your name?”

She says she’s learned to live with it. In response to her equanimity, Steele performs an astonishing feat with his forehead.

His Shar Pei impression is uncanny!

Laura points out something she apparently sees in the paper. “That was nice, donating the money you won in the polo match to Wallace’s mission.” It’s not clear which article on the inside pages we just saw would contain such a statement. Perhaps the item headlined “Oil Giant Admits New Illegal Gifts.” Hm.

Steele responds that Wallace was a nice man.

“… and a helluva burglar.”

Suddenly Steele reaches up to take off his glasses. Is it me, or is there something vaguely familiar about that gesture? Wait a minute! No, it can’t be!

SuperSteele!

Nope, guess not. Mr. Steele just takes off his shades. He tells Laura that the entire staff can be “rather proud of this one.”

Laura reminds him that Mrs. Dillon was the only one who drank that tea.

“So when it turned up in the stable and Wallace’s stomach …”

*snap!*

Steele is impressed!

“God, I’m good!”

And thus ends the second episode of Remington Steele, season 1. I think we learned some interesting things about our dynamic duo, don’t you? There may be friction between them at times, but in the end they make a pretty good team. I do have to wonder, however, if Laura is quite as unruffled by his getting all the credit as she claims. Perhaps we’ll find out as the series continues!