“That one can convince one’s opponents with printed reasons, I have not believed since the year 1764. It is not for that purpose that I have taken up my pen, but rather merely to annoy them, and to give strength and courage to those on our side, and to make it known to the others that they have not convinced us.”
G.C. Lichtenberg (1742 – 1799), courtesy of 'Deogolwulf'

Monday, 24 March 2014

Your Monday Funnies: 24.3.14

A beautiful sunny if crisp Monday morning so I'm sure you wage-slaves don't need cheering up because on a day like today there is nowhere you would rather be than in your office! Even so, you know how I like to help, so I'll start with a political one specially for my regular commenter, 'Jimmy Glesga':

If Scotland gains its independence after the forthcoming referendum, the remainder of the United Kingdom will be known as the "Former United Kingdom" (FUK).

In a bid to discourage Scots from voting 'yes' in the referendum, The Government have now begun to campaign with the slogan “Vote NO, for FUK’s sake”

A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City and lay down on the back seat. The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the cab. The woman glared back at him and said,

In Australia, the kerbside garbage carts are called "wheelie bins." A garbage collector is driving along a Sydney street picking up the wheelie bins and emptying them into his rubbish truck.

He goes to one house where the bin hasn't been left out. In the spirit of kindness and after having a quick look about for the bin, he gets out of his truck, goes to the front door and knocks. There's no answer.

Being a conscientious bloke, he knocks again - much harder.

Eventually, a Japanese man comes to the door.

"Harro!" says the Japanese man.

"G'day mate, where's ya' bin?" asks the collector.

"I bin on toilet," explains the Japanese bloke, a bit perplexed.

Realising the fellow had misunderstood him, the bin man smiles and tries again.

"No mate, where's ya' dust bin?"

"I dust been to toilet, I toll you!'' says the Japanese man, still perplexed.

John Malpas - dunny men? We don't call dunny men dunny men? Really? I didn't realise.
I rather think, if we had a dunny man, I would call him that. Unless I knew his name, of course. If his name was .... let's say, Dexter .... well, I would call him Dexter.
Would that be OK?
I like to get these things right.