Sunday, February 22, 2009

If you haven't had a change to check it out, StinkyLulu has corralled some movie loving boys together to throw down with the Oscar's Supporting Actress Nominees just in time for the big night. Smackdown '08! Who comes out on top? Here's a little visualization for the straight boys reading (just something to reward you for your patronage as you suffer through repeated references to Hugh Jackman and Haaz Sleiman in their undies) don't say I never do anything for you here at the Film Experience.

Who would win in a wrestling match between Penélope Cruz and Marisa Tomei? What if we threw Viola Davis, Taraji P Henson and Amy Adams into the mud with them? Fantasize about it Predict what would happen in the comments.*

25 comments:

they would both start out strong, but marisa wins the first round with the help of a gold man in a sock. cruz takes the next two, until her coach pedro leaves, replaced by tom. she then starts to lag - marisa shows resilience and surprising stamina in the next three rounds. cruz makes a startling comeback when pedro returns ringside. then marisa takes her clothes off. it's a dead heat. final round tonight...

they would both start out strong, but marisa wins the first round with the help of a gold man in a sock. cruz takes the next two, until her coach pedro leaves, replaced by tom. she then starts to lag - marisa shows resilience and surprising stamina in the next three rounds. cruz makes a startling comeback when pedro returns ringside. then marisa takes her clothes off. it's a dead heat. final round tonight...

I like Marisa for this, because she has been around long enough to know all the dirty tricks (so to speak) that could give her an edge over Penelope's Latin passion in the pit. The mud would refuse to cling to Amy (and it might even forcefully eject her from the wallow). Viola would lie in the mud on the other side of tussle in her ongoing quest to avoid any conflict in her life. Taraji would just stand up in the middle and scream, "I spent four hours in the Makeup guy's chair for this!

I'll put my money on Penelope Cruz. I bet shes crazy as shit and throws a mean right cross. just a hunch. But then again. Amy Adams might win on account of... well, who could hit her? she's so damn cute

I think it'd be Marisa Tomei-she had to tussle with the media after her 1992 win, she can handle anything.

And, I know this post is for the straight boys, but was I the only one who pictured Josh Brolin and Robert Downey, Jr. mud-wrestling in an equal opportunity Supporting Actor smackdown? Anyone...(crickets)?

But seriously, I think we all know Taraji would kill in that fight. Bitch be crazy. She seems ready and willing to open that can of whup-ass at any time.

Marisa's no pushover, though. I think she has some real fight in her. And if Cruz channels some Maria Elena, I'll be scared of her, too. Give her a gun or a razor, and I'm running. But I think on sheer technique, as well as ferocity, Taraji wins handily.

The Doubt girls are lightweight by comparison, though I think if you get Viola Davis going, she can bring it. She strikes me as the "strong and silent" type, unwilling to flaunt it, but will go there if you make her.