The Crisis in a Nutshell: Quotes of the Week

“People should have the right to have the literature they want. This is the beginning of Nazi Germany.” —Joan Rivers, after handcuffing herself to a shopping cart outside Costco, denouncing the store for not selling her book “I Hate Everyone … Starting with Me.”

“Last we checked, the movie is a comedy. Maybe more to the point is that it’s laughable to take political guidance or moral instruction from a guy who makes obscene gestures with a monkey on a bus in Bangkok.” —The Koch brothers’ spokesman Philip Ellender, on Zach Galifianakis’s criticism and depiction of the brothers in his new movie, “The Campaign.”

“Entrepreneurs and business people around the world and here at home think that at some point America is going to become like Greece or like Spain or Italy, or like California—just kidding about that one, in some ways.” —Mitt Romney.

“I mean, there are things to prevent that nowadays, like Propecia. I don’t know why he doesn’t just get those things, those products.” —Justin Bieber, on Prince William’s thinning hair.

“I’m very looking forward to a Republican being back in office. When you’re rich, you want a Republican in office.” —Jenna Jameson, endorsing Mitt Romney.

“If Obamacare is in fact not repealed, we will find tactics to shallow out any Obamacare costs and core strategies to pass that cost onto consumers in order to protect our shareholders’ best interests.” —Papa John’s founder and C.E.O. John Schnatter, explaining that Obamacare will cost the company eleven to fourteen cents per pizza.

“They like what I say. I’m a very popular guy, as crazy as it might sound. It’s nice to be loved.” —Donald Trump, on his voter appeal.

“I just ordered all six seasons.” —The Guantánamo Bay librarian, on the increasing popularity of “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” among prisoners.

“She’s been there ever since I was born.” —Ryan Lochte, on his mother.