U-T 32 Week Four

Houston Texans quarterback Matt Schaub (8) throws for a touchdown against the Denver Broncos in the second quarter of an NFL football game Sunday, Sept. 23, 2012, in Denver. (AP Photo/Jack Dempsey)

/ AP

Houston Texans quarterback Matt Schaub (8) throws for a touchdown against the Denver Broncos in the second quarter of an NFL football game Sunday, Sept. 23, 2012, in Denver. (AP Photo/Jack Dempsey)

Houston Texans quarterback Matt Schaub (8) throws for a touchdown against the Denver Broncos in the second quarter of an NFL football game Sunday, Sept. 23, 2012, in Denver. (AP Photo/Jack Dempsey) (/ AP)

1 -- Texans (3-0). They are the AFC’s only unbeaten team, and the statistics say they’re not a fluke. They’re in the NFL’s top five in points scored, fewest points allowed, turnover differential and margin of victory. Winning at Denver isn’t easy, and the Texans did it pretty easily. No one can block J.J. Watt.

Last week: won at Broncos.

This week: Titans.

2 -- 49ers (2-1). Film of their loss to the Vikings will be as popular with NFL coaches as The Avengers was this year with moviegoers. Somehow, the stingy Niners gave up 146 yards rushing, the most in the Harbaugh Era.

Last week: lost at Vikings.

This week: at Jets

3 -- Giants (2-1). OK, football lover. You have one game to win this year. Who’s your quarterback? We’ll take Eli and give you the field.

Last week: won at Panthers.

This week: at Eagles.

4 -- Falcons (3-0). Hollywood stars wish they could age like Tony Gonzalez. The tight end, 36, schooled several Chargers on Sunday. Mike Smith’s Falcons lead the NFL in turnover differential, yet only Falcons relatives can identify several of the team’s defenders.

Last week: won at Chargers.

This week: Panthers.

5 – Cardinals (3-0). They ought to send Seattle several free-stay vouchers for a Scottsdale resort. When the Seahawks KO’d their quarterback in the opener, the desert dwellers turned to Kevin Kolb. All he’s done is lead them past the Seahawks, Patriots and Eagles.

Last week: beat Eagles.

This week: Dolphins.

6 – Patriots (1-2). Linebacker Brandon Spikes, cousin of the Chargers’ Takeo, angry after the Pats took some tough penalties, said the replacement refs need to go back to Foot Locker. Not done Tweeting, Spikes went Old Testament, wondering why God is punishing the Pats. Ever hear of Spygate, Brandon? Bill Belichick, acting like he’s bigger than the NFL, grabbed a ref after his team's mistake-filled defeat Sunday night.

Last week: lost at Ravens

This week: at Bills.

7 – Ravens (2-1). They rallied around teammate Torrey Smith, who, playing on the same day that his younger brother died in a motorcycle accident, caught two touchdown passes in the comeback victory over New England. Said Ray Lewis: “Before every blessing, there is a storm.”

Last week: beat Patriots.

This week: Browns.

8 – Cowboys (2-1). Jason Witten isn’t playing like Jason Witten. The tight end leads the NFL in drops with six. A tough guy, Witten may have rushed back too soon following a spleen injury in the preseason. The Star’s safeties are banged up. Tony Romo, imperiled by his line, is taking more hits than a tackling dummy.

Last week: Beat Bucs.

This week: Bears.

9 – Packers (1-2). First things first: The Packers have a cardboard offensive line, and their defense is ordinary. Aaron Rodgers, sacked eight times in the first half of Monday night’s game, is getting a taste of Brett Favre’s life early in No. 4’s Packers tenure, when Favre often had to run for his life. Flaws aside, the Packers were jobbed by the replacement refs on Monday, not just on the final play but throughout Seattle’s final two drives. Said ESPN's Jon Gruden, who worked the game: "I'm about to jump out of this pressbox. This is wrong. I don't feel good about this."

Monday night: lost at Seahawks

This week: Saints.

10 -- Seattle Seahawks (2-1). They’ve taken on Pete Carroll’s personality. Hyper. Bold. Aggressive. Impulsive. It’s not always pretty, and Carroll’s attention to detail can drift. The defense, however, battered the Cowboys and the Packers in consecutive games. No disrespect to the Chargers’ Melvin Ingram, but pass-rusher Bruce Irvin is showing why the Seahawks drafted him in April. He and his fellow pass-rushers shredded the Packers on Monday.

Monday night: Beat the Packers.

This week: at Rams.

11 -- Eagles (2-1). Andy Reid, smarting after the Cardinals crunched his team, said he did a “terrible job” of coaching. That’s not how Norv ever talks to the press. Reid hinted of a shakeup at quarterback if Kid Dynasty doesn’t pick it up. If Reid can't fix the offensive line, he may not have a starting quarterback to send to the bench.

Last week: lost at Cardinals.

This week: Giants.

12 – Bears (2-1) Sounding like Norv did before the Falcons came to San Diego, lineman Julius Peppers said improved depth is paying off for a pass rush that sacked Sam Bradford six times. Tim Jennings, a 5-foot-8 cornerback, leads the NFL in interceptions with four. Over on the offense, Mr. Pouty Face needs to play better—soon.

Last week: beat Rams.

This week: at Cowboys.

13 – Chargers (2-1). They told us they fixed the defense. They told us Chatty Phil would throw fewer interceptions. But when the Bolts encountered a good team, at home against the Falcons, the defense couldn’t get off the field (Atlanta converted 62 percent of its third downs) and Rivers threw a silly interception that led to seven points. Thank heavens Atlanta isn’t the AFC West.

Last week: lost to Falcons.

This week: at Chiefs.

14 – Broncos (1-2). The Texans led by 20 points entering the fourth quarter, and even the altitude-conditioned mules couldn’t climb that mountain. Old Man Peyton threw 52 passes. John Fox needs to put him on a pitch count. No gloating, Bolt Heads -- the Broncos will be better later.

Last week: lost to Texans.

This week: Raiders.

15 – Bills (2-1). They used C.J. Spiller to replace Fred Jackson, and when Spiller hurt his shoulder last Sunday, they plugged in Tashard Choice, who rushed for 91 yards on the road. It’s impressive when a team can run the ball with its No. 3 back.

Last week: Won at Browns.

This week: Patriots.

16 – Bengals (2-1). A.J. in D.C. meant good times for the Stripes. A.J. Green caught nine passes for 181 yards, launching the shootout victory. Andy Dalton didn’t have all the fun at quarterback. Receiver Mohamed Sanu heaved a touchdown pass to Green.

Last week: Won at Redskins.

This week: at Jaguars.

17 – Steelers (1-2). Big Ben and his youthful receivers were magnificent, but the old battered defense fell apart. A bye could revive the elderly Steelers. Unfortunately for them, after the siesta, they’ll have to play 13 games in 13 weeks. There may not be enough steel in the curtain to hold up.

Last week: lost at Raiders.

This week: BYE

18 – Bucs (1-2). Vincent Jackson, the former Charger, had only one catch against the Cowboys and their wounded safety corps. So far, Jackson gets a “B” for his work with Tampa Bay.

Last week: Won at Cowboys.

This week: Redskins.

19 – Lions (1-2). Were the Big Three automakers as dumb as Detroit’s football team, we’d all be driving foreign cars. Gullible Lions defenders gave up five TDs of 60-plus yards. In position for a tying field goal, Detroit’s coach wanted his offense to draw the Titans offside, but the offense snapped the ball and got tackled, clinching defeat.

Last week: Lost at Titans.

This week: Vikings.

20 – Vikings (2-1). Christian Ponder made grown men cry on Sunday. Those men had wagered on the NFL’s consensus best team. Ponder, an athletic quarterback two years out of Florida State, outpaced the acclaimed 49ers defense, even ran past San Francisco’s world-class linebackers and into the end zone. On all fronts, the purple men outhit Harbaugh’s brutes.

Last week: Beat 49ers.

This week: at Lions.

21 – Chiefs (1-2).The oddsmakers’ biggest underdogs in Week 3, they were down, desperate, and on the verge of falling to 0-3. Jamaal Charles rescued them. His 91 yard touchdown sprint was the longest rush in franchise history. When Matt Cassel had to complete a pass, he succeeded.

Last week: Won at Saints.

This week: Chargers.

22 – Redskins (1-2). Their every defeat is being cheered by the Rams, who hold Washington’s first-round draft pick in 2013 (and in 2014). Robert Griffin III is one together young man. His body won’t be intact, however, if he continues to take a beatings every Sunday.

Last week: Lost to Bengals.

This week: at Bucs.

23 – Saints (0-3). They can draw inspiration from Bobby Ross’s first Chargers team, the last squad to win in the postseason after starting 0-3. Ross was a very good coach. The Saints have a very good coach, Sean Payton, but he is serving a one-year suspension. Drew Brees has a tender shoulder.

Last week: lost to Chiefs.

This week: at Packers.

24 – Titans (1-2). A fourth-year player on his third team, Darius Reynaud is Tennessee's Mr. Entertainment. Reynaud, a return man, throws left-handed. This revelation, which shocked the Lions, came on a lateral that created a 65-yard touchdown off a punt return, the Music City Miracle II. Reynaud also sped 105 yards with a kick.

Last week: Beat Lions.

This week: at Texans.

25 – Raiders (1-2). They looked helpless against the pass and lost their best receiver, Darrius Heyward-Bey, who was knocked out by a Steelers defensive back. They were the last team standing, though, thanks to a 64-yard touchdown run by Darren McFadden and Carlson Palmer’s three touchdown passes. We repeat: Palmer isn’t the problem in Oakland. We just doubt he’s the answer.

Last week: beat Steelers.

This week: at Broncos.

26 – Jets (1-2). Darrelle Revis is done for the season. The best pass defender of his generation tore up his knee in the win at Miami. Revis, able to nullify Vincent Jackson and others, was crucial to Jets victories that devastated the Chargers in the 2009 playoffs and last year. The Revis injury is an early Christmas present for the Bolts, who will play the Jets on Dec. 23.

Last week: won at Dolphins.

This week: 49ers.

27 – Rams (1-2). You have to think Rams scouts are encamped in California, home to top-drawer draft-eligible receivers such as USC’s Robert Woods and Cal’s Keenan Allen. The St. Louis offense, directed by a quarterback drafted first overall, Sam Bradford, mustered only 160 yards at Chicago. Inactive for the game was healthy rookie receiver Brian Quick, drafted 33nd out of Appalachian State.

Last week: won at Bears.

This week: Seahawks.

28 – Panthers (1-2). Their franchise quarterback, Cam Newton, upon scoring a touchdown, celebrated with a Superman pose. Problem: Giants already had the game in hand. Later in the rout, teammate Steve Smith didn’t like that Newton “sulked” on the bench. So he lit into him and told the press all about it. Ron Rivera, your seat is heating up.

Last week: lost to Giants.

This week: at Falcons.

29 --Dolphins (1-2). There’s hope. Rookie quarterback Ryan Tannehill’s considerable tools translated into clutch plays late in the game. If the former Texas A&M quarterback and receiver can survive the year with body and psyche still whole, the 8-10 losses to come won’t really matter.

30 – Colts (1-2). You know you’re not good when you lose to the Jags after leading by 11 at halftime. In training camp while Colts tacklers labored, Jags star Maurice Jones-Drew held out. Talent trumped toil in Indy, the UCLA man pounding the Shoes for 172 yards rushing. Too bad Andrew Luck doesn’t play safety too; he wouldn’t have allowed the 80-yard pass play that beat Indy.

Last week: lost to Jags.

This week: BYE

31 – Jags (1-2). When a big throw was needed, Blaine Gabbert zinged a strike, which of late couldn’t be said of his presumptive replacement Matt Barkley.

Last week: won at Colts.

This week: Bengals.

32 – Browns (0-3). Their losing streak of nine games is the NFL’s longest. Running back Trent Richardson, Buffalo’d into only 27 yards rushing, knows he’s not in Alabama anymore. It’s a Cleveland thing. The combined intellects of Lombardi, Walsh, Shula and Belichick couldn’t save the Muds.