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Monthly Archives: April 2012

“…it’s important not to invalidate your feelings. Your feelings are telling you something important. Do not rush to act on the first whim, take time to hear the full message.”

When I read this excerpt this morning, it was a confirmation; not that I needed it; so, it was more like a reaffirmation of how I handle myself and my emotions. As stated in previous posts, when I have had things on my mind, but don’t always address them; instead, I wait until I see if the feeling dissipates or lingers as the former typically is a knee jerk reaction; resting on the latter as being something I need to consider and/or address. Unlike in the past where I tended to suppress or ignore my feelings; often leaving me in an emotionally destitute place, I’ve stopped playing the martyr and sacrificing my feelings, well-being, and/or happiness in favour of placating someone else. I learned a long time ago that feelings aren’t right or wrong; they just are, but I like to add what the quote states to it now.

It’s important to recognize and realize that when someone says, “oh suck it up”, or “you’ll get over it” when it comes to how you feel about something tends to come from a negative place within that person where they can’t handle what’s being said or they aren’t equipped within their own emotion state to show the necessary compassion, understanding, or even their complicity in what’s being brought to them. While it could be very easy to simply assume their words and dismiss your feelings; do not. Instead, find another approach to address said person, but never disregard your feelings by allowing someone to belittle you or your feelings.

Keep yourself open to the voice inside of you and the emotions conjured as a result. Look inward to see where they’ve stemmed from, what your reaction is, and how best to mitigate the circumstance. Take ownership if/where necessary in what you’re feeling and why you feel how you do and bring it all to the conversation when it takes place. Remind yourself that you may be received with hostility or reproach, but let the loftier thought of your self-preservation and well-being are at stake in order to remain on course and diligent in remedying the situation or circumstance. You are entitled to your feelings, but you aren’t entitled to hurt someone and the contrary is likewise true. Let your inner voice be your compass north as it’s the one true feeling that won’t let you down; it’s the last piece of the childhood innocence and purity you have left.

That is all!

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I saw this and couldn’t resist using it as a post. Although it’s captioned to say whatever the person who created wanted, please maintain discretion as to what you keep on your computers, laptops, or phones or you may find yourself explaining things you may not want to.

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This is something so many of us have a hard time with and it’s a life lesson that doesn’t require any requisites to learn. It simply is what it is. It doesn’t make you a bad person; it makes you a good person who learned some people are bad for you.

We have to stop setting ourselves up for failure but trying to make more than what they are or who’ve they’ve presented them to be; in this case; a deficit. There is no justifiable reason for us to care or continue to invest where we should be making withdrawals or canceling love/life accounts.

It’s inventory time again. Take a good look at your relationship; platonic or intimate, portfolio and see what yeilds your getting and make the necessary adjustments. Life’s too short to live it with the wrong people in your life.

That is all!

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We all have moments of self-doubt and wonder how we’re going to get something done or wonder if we should take that leap of faith into something new/different. We fill the bucket with the plethora of things or reasons why we shouldn’t move forward instead of trusting and believing in ourselves. Well, the next time you find yourself in that predicament; lament on the following and let your spirit soar as you prepare to take the proverbial bull by the horns and get it done. If this doesn’t inspire you, I’m not sure what will.

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After a spending the past 2-3 weeks working through abuse, trauma, hurt, anger and frustration in its various forms/stages, I’m happy to announce that the view from the higher elevation of lifes mountain has presented a magnificent skyline. My girlfriend who has navigating her way through back to back drama is coming out victorious and I have pushed myself to an emotional highpoint I wasn’t sure I’d achieve.

She has closed doors, cleaned house; literally and metaphorically; and has reclaimed the woman and adult that she is and now feels better purposed and possess a refreshed and renewed outlook on her life. My heart warmed at the information she’s shared and I know there is a plethora of blessings waiting to rain down upon her from heavens clouds. Through her own ordeal, she was able to set aside time to encourage and nourish my soul/spirit in order for me to come to my own point of cleansing, which I achieved this weekend.

I spoke up on some issues that had rooted themselves into my phyche and were reaking havoc on my emotional integrity and the way I was viewing my relationship. I knew I had to heed my own words and perform my full disclosure regardless of how uncomfortable it may make either of us feel. Well, everything I said was received well, with keen interest, and yielded favourable results. We’ve come to a much better and stronger place as a result and can now move on without this hanging over our respective heads. Lesson being; we can’t fault someone for something we do not disclose.

So, here I sit with a huge smile on my face knowing that another trial has become a triumph and a problem shared became a problem; not only halved, but resolved.

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“A lot of trouble will disappear if people learned to talk to each other instead of talking about each other“.

“Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth” (1 John 3:18).

If a brother or sister is in need, and all we give them are words of love, with no action, what have we really said to them? James put it like this:

14 What use is it, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but he has no works? Can that faith save him? 15 If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, 16 and one of you says to them, “ Go in peace, be warmed and be filled,” and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that?(James 2:14-16)

Just as faith is demonstrated by works, so too is love. This is true of God’s love for us.

Let’s take some time to do some internal spring cleaning; find ways to heal/grow; and put some authenticity into our lives by working on full disclosure. Life’s too short to live in unhappy and unfulfilled.