All I Want F O R Christmas . . .

Santa has asked me to write you about all those letters he's been getting about Christmas gifts.

There are a few problems involved, so we'll take them one at a time.

First, Santa is not a lawyer. As far as we were able to determine, Santa attended law school but dropped out for reasons that are still not clear. Therefore, it is not necessary to call him Santa Clause.

Second, lots of letters were delayed in getting to Santa because of incorrect addresses.

The North Pole, Santa's corporate headquarters, isn't in the United States. As far as most everyone knows, the North Pole is somewhere in northern Canada and Canadians are very touchy about giving up huge chunks of their country.

Third, there is no such thing as Reindeer Express. Most of the mail gets to Santa via dog sled.

Fourth, Santa said he suspects many of your letters were actually written by mom or dad and then signed by you. Now Santa has no objections to this as long as you say so in your letter. And, Santa does understand that mom or dad might use the opportunity to find out what their little tykes really want for Christmas and call Santa on his toll-free gift line - saving postage costs.

Fifth, it's important to include very early in the letter the phrase "I have been good this year." And kids, be sure to get the letter notarized and have two witnesses initial it. Otherwise, Santa won't be able to fill your wish list.

And, sixth, and most importantly, try to keep the list to a manageable size. Remember, too, that clippings from toy catalogs are helpful if they contain references to the catalog's publisher and the page involved. Many of you just sent tiny, tiny clippings, forcing Santa to pay his elves overtime for library research.

Well, with that said, Santa has asked me to let you know what everyone else asked for.

Like many other little girls, Kelly, from Whitehall, asked Santa for a Cabbage Patch Kid. She also wants a chalkboard.

Nicole, from Allentown, also wanted a Cabbage Patch Kid, but Nicole left Santa specific instructions. The Kid should be named Kenny, it should have one tooth and it should be riding a white Cabbage

Patch Snow Pony.

Santa has found that stuffed animals like Pound Puppies and accessories for Cabbage Patch Kids appeared on quite a few little girl's lists.

Like many other little boys, Todd of Nazareth, was brand-specific in asking for his toys. Todd wants Transformers, a Roboto, a Hotcycle and a Thundercat, to name a few.

Ray, of Allentown, wants Santa to bring him a bike. Rayalso wants Santa to know that he will be in Atlanta over Christmas and that Santa should bring the bike there.

Lori, of Allentown, added her kitten's wishes to her own wish list by asking Santa to bring the cat a toy mouse.

Colleen, also of Allentown, reminded Santa that if he can't make the toys she wants (Santa had a little trouble reading exactly what Colleen wanted), they are available at "Toys 'R' Us."

Karen, of Allentown, was less specific: "Dear Santa, You can get me anything. I want some toys please. I love you." Karen was also kind enough to enclose a colorful thank you card.

Jimmy, address unknown, wants a computer with a TV and adds at the end of his list, "I like the elves because they make us toys."

Trevor, address also unknown, wants a Mumm-ra, a Lion-O, a Fright Zone book and candy in his stocking. At the end of his list, he adds, "Maybe that's it so we can save some toys for the other children."

Not all the writers were so thoughtful.

Robin, of Allentown, betrayed some bitterness of Christmases past when he wrote, "Santa, you are bad. I hate you."

Kyle, from Bethlehem, was extremely honest in his letter. Not only did he say his mom was writing the letter, he added, "I get tired of writing." Kyle went on to ask - in his own handwriting - for a candy Santa, a fire truck, a musical phone, books, Gobots and another popular item this Christmas, a Bed Bugs game.

Kelly, of Whitehall, sent Santa alist of 16 items, mostly involving Cabbage Patch Kids and their accessories. Kelly thoughtfully included lists for her sister Staci and her brother, Christopher.

Joey, of Allentown, ended his list of eight items by saying, "I took lots of food for the poor kids at school." In one of the largest letters to Santa, written on a large white sheet of construction paper, the boys and girls of the Greenawalds Nursery School asked if Santa could come to their school. "If you come, you can have a snack with us. We will even sing Jingle Bells to you," the letter said.