AN INTERACTIVE BLOG FOR YOUNG WOMEN SEEKING A DEEPER RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD IN THE REAL WORLD

03/31/2014

Giving It Up

Good morning, New Women. We're finally leaving Galilee today, but I want to say one more thing about forgiveness, and this arises from your amazing and honest comments. Please, my loves, do not ever stuff your emotions so you can forgive. It doesn't work that way. The only way out of anger and hurt is to go THROUGH it. When we try to get on top of it, it's still there. If we go through it, experience it, own it, we leave it behind. Just because the thought of someone who has hurt you or your family makes you want to cry or throw something all over again doesn't mean you aren't in the process of forgiving. Feel it all the way through so there's nothing left, and then you'll be able to move on. Bitterness happens when you cram those feelings into a corner and pretend they're not there. This is different from wallowing. Wallowing is "poor me." Working through is "I want a better me out of this." And as you pray, it becomes, "Poor person who hurt me. She/he must be in pain too to behave that way. "I hope that helps. Oh, and crying is always allowed here.

Okay, so I hope you're awake and ready because today we leave Galilee and follow Jesus to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. For a while it feels good to be on the road again, and we breathe in the spring air and feel the warmth of the sun on our skin. Or is that the inner warmth Jesus has instilled in us?

But then crowds start to form and follow us, so that sometimes it's hard to see our Lord in the midst of all the people. Some of us get sort of testy about that. What's with the mob? This is OUR trip with OUR Jesus. We liked it better when it was just us.

But then one of us notices -- and passes the word -- that these people aren't just horning in on our road trip. Most of them have brought somebody who needs to be healed in a major way. We watch with as much awe as everyone else each time Jesus stops and gets a polio victim on her feet again or opens the eyes of a blind guy or restores a woman who seems to be half dead. We sort of have to accept the crowds because, really, who wouldn't want to be around him?

But the people who really get on ournerves (especially yours?) are those egotistical Pharisees. We always thought these leaders of the church knew everything when it came to Scripture and how we're supposed to live under God, but compared to Jesus, they don't know a blame thing. And they aren't that happy about that -- as in, they're bordering on angry all the time.

"Check this out," one of us whispers to the others. "They're trying to test Jesus."

"Are they serious?" someone else says. "Do they actually think they can catch him in a trap?"

We watch as Jesus fields challenges about marriage and divorce and children and we give each other a thumbs up every time the Pharisees grit their teeth until their jaw muscles twitch. You show 'em, Jesus!

And then a young man emerges from the crowd. Not a Pharisee. Just an attractive guy, well-dressed, obviously comes from money. He actually seems sincere when he asks Jesus what he has to do to have eternal life. This doesn't sound like a question meant to trap Jesus so we all lean in to hear the answer.

Some of us figure we know the answer already. You believe Jesus is the savior and you're good to go, right? Still, we listen because our experience so far has been that Jesus will explain what that actually LOOKS like in a life.

And Jesus does. He tells the young man that he has to follow the commandments. The guy grins ear-to-ear because he's always followed the church rules. In addition to the original ten, he also doesn't cuss, drink, have sex (he's not married yet), watch R-rated movies, or listen to anything but religious music. He's so clean it practically hurts your eyes to look at him in the sunlight.

We look at each other and shrug. We do that too, for the most part. Some of us throw in "I don't wear a bikini to the beach" or "I try not to even think about dating until I'm ready to get married," and nod that we actually feel pretty much like this young guy.

Jesus is nodding the whole time. He even nods at us. Yes! We're good!

And then, of course, he knocks us off balance yet again as he says to the young man, "If you really want to follow me and have true union with God, here's what you need to do."

You could a pin drop to the dust in the crowd as everyone waits. Who doesn't want to know this, right?

"Sell your possessions," Jesus says, "And give the money to the poor. Then you'll have treasure built up for yourself in heaven -- that is, in your oneness with God."

Ew.

The young man's face sags. So do his shoulders. Without a word to Jesus, he turns and walks away. We can see tears starting to form in his eyes.

Some of us are feeling the pinch of that because we know Jesus is talking to all of us. Those of us who have a lot of stuff are especially uncomfortable. Others are thinking, "I don't really have much money and 'things' so I guess this doesn't apply to me."

But Jesus takes us off by ourselves, into a cool, dark chapel at the side of the road, while the crowd disperses, muttering among themselves.

"This applies to everyone," he says. "Whatever you're holding onto that is more important to you than God, let it go. And not only that -- turn it around so that it can do some good."

Huh?

"Are you all about your body image? Love God more than your image of thinness. Turn it around, into an interest in being healthy and fit, and perhaps helping little kids get out and moving."

"Are you more interested in being perfect in other people's eyes than in God's? Give up the approval of the popular girls or the demanding coach or even the high-pressure parents and concentrate on being the person God made you to be, which is NOT all things to all people."

He tilts his head as he watches us struggle. "I know this is hard, but am I asking you to do it alone?"

We shake our heads.

"First, talk to me, talk to God -- in whatever way prayer works for you. In your journal. On your knees. Through a drawing.

"Then talk to each other -- this body of New Women God has given you. "

And so we do that. In our comments we talk about that ONE THING that always comes up like a pile of stuff between who we are in God and who we try to be for the world. How can we get rid of it for the good?

Comments

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I finally get it. I cannot tell you how many times I read this and said "WHAT?! I love helping kids and giving stuff away, but EVERYTHING? How will I be secure? Does that mean I get a flip phone and get rid of my extensive wardrobe and ask my dad not to send me to private schools?! Really Jesus? Sell EVERYTHING? "

But maybe it never was that easy. I would feel uncomfortable, because I have a really nice life. A couple of people have done a really good job at making me feel like a loser because of the opportunities my parents have handed me. My dad knew we needed to move into a smaller house and rent the other one out. I accepted that. But, we lived such a nice life still that I would feel somewhat guilty, even though my parents are really responsible and give a lot.But that was them. I did hold on to something. I was wrong to think it meant "Everyone give away all your stuff!" I see now (THANK YOU) what that means. I did do that! I used to think my education was the most important thing ever. It is important. But I remember telling God that this was his life, his education and he should do what he saw fit. I gave up thinking all my worth came from how well I did in school. I started to see how I could use it as a launching pad to go where he called me. It has been a seriously good change, now that I gave it to him. I don't stress, I don't freak out, and I can feel him guiding me in ways I didn't when I was running the show.

I would be the one angry at the Pharisees. I live next to people exactly like that, and if I didn't know better I probably would have run from their faith. I have to remember to not get mad at them. Like you said, we can't be all things to all people, and I have given up trying to prove that I am just as Christian as they are. You can't "one size fits all " with Christianity because people are always called differently, and I am not going to feel shamed anymore because I don't fit what their idea of a Godly girl looks like. I don't even like baking or sewing that much. I would rather be walking in the woods or reading about science.

This post was the PERFECT thing for today. I've had a rough day, and this was exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you. I just wanted to say how grateful I am for everyone on this blog. I always look forward to coming to this community, you mean more to me than you know.
Petra
By the way, I will try to post a comment in response the the post tomorrow. :)

really good.
i learned a butt load about the whole possessions thing when i moved overseas and back. moving with two boxes isn't exactly… normal. we moved back here with 12 boxes. It really changed us all and we're striving to be minimalists (or like almost minimalists anyway). It's one of my mom's passions now and it has become one of mine… that I need to remember.
the incredible thing is how freeing it becomes. Because really, you can't do the things 'jesus' mentioned in the post (in the chapel) when your mind is unconsiously focused on stuff//clothes.
It's cool how it's like material effects the insides and the insides effects material…
As for what… choosing ONE thing is hard and something that I'm going to journal about tonight. I have so much work to do. So much.
Good post, thank you.

(and in my comment post, I in no way want to make it sound like I have it all together and I'm so far ahead of others because I AM NOT i just thought i'd share a bit about my experience and what that passage always makes me think of) xxx

So I had this moment of realization in reading your post that when Jesus answered the rich young man's question, He was answering the young man. He wasn't using it as a theological question and answer, for everyone to take notes on and follow meticulously. He was speaking directly the man's heart, knowing that he in particular held his possessions above God and following Him.

And then how you wrote about Jesus further explaining to us - oh so perfect. Our possessions are countless things that we hold above God so that we possess, control something.

For me, a big thing is my emotions. A lot in my life, really, I feel like it's mine. It's my life, my possession. Yes, God is God Almighty, but I don't want to submit to something I can't control. So I'll stick with my possessions thank you very much, no way am I just selling them off and not knowing what's going to happen.

But my "possessions," my life, my emotions, the giftings God has given me - they fade, when they're in my "control." When I don't give them to God and let Him use me for His purposes and fulfill my life with unimaginable joy beyond my ability to create - when I don't do that, my possessions are purposeless because I'm not aligning them with the One who gives purpose.

Wow. Thank you for that, Mrs. Rue.

Alexandria - "I don't stress, I don't freak out, and I can feel him guiding me in ways I didn't when I was running the show." THIS. Plus like your whole last paragraph. Yes, yes, yes, so good and so very true.

I'm so with you, Petra, this post was perfect and very needed. I'm glad you took the time to share that and say thanks, I agree, I'm so thankful for everyone in this community, it's so amazing. :) Looking forward to your comment tomorrow :)

And Kate, what you said about "It's cool how it's like material effects the insides and the insides effects material," that is so true. This post made me think about that too, how like everything we think and do affects every part, the whole of us. Hmm...something to think about.

Thank you again for this Mrs. Rue. And I'm with you there, Kate, "I have so much work to do." I need to bring this to God. As you said, Mrs. Rue, we are not alone in this. Jesus is here.

Happy God moment! I was really worried because I'm in a dance choreography class and we had a project where we were assigned a group and had to choreograph on them. It was the first time I'd ever choreographed on someone that wasn't me and I didn't get as much rehearsal time as I would've liked so I was really nervous. I presented my choreography today and it went really well and I got tons of compliments! The teacher said it was the best work he's seen me do, which is really high praise from him. And it just really reminded me that God's got my back :) Just wanted to share that with all of you lovely ladies :)

Melody, that is so great! I'm so happy for you, that sounds like a wonderful experience - wish I could have seen your choreography, sounds like it was beautiful :) Thank you for sharing that, just hearing it encouraged me. Hope you have a beautiful day! :)

Thank you so much for this, Nancy.
Lately, I've been trying to convince myself that my good report cards and talents and personality all belong to God and that I have no right to brag on them as if they were my own. This post was perfect; thank you. :)