My husband and I are so busy with
working at
our jobs that we don't have any energy left at the end of the day
for
sex anymore. We use to find time, but now we are so exhausted, it's
futile. I
also have a bad knee, and bad back, and he snores so bad, I
have had to sleep in
the daughters room. He doesn't seem to care. He now
goes to bed without asking
me to come up to bed anymore. I feel as though
our marriage is fossiling. We
can't quit our jobs as we farm, and it
takes two off-farm jobs to stay on the
farm, plus I am worried about the
stress we are both under, which has had a toll
on our sex drives. I feel
as though all our dreams of happiness together have
come to a stop. Is my
life at 44 years old sold to industry??

unsigned

Dear Yes.
We All Know,

This is actually the most common problem in
today's modern
marriage/relationships. Although most couples tend to
think the spark is lost
over time by them or their partner, it's
actually the loss of our most precious
commodity time. We live in a
culture where both partners need to work to obtain
the money they need.
Add to this child responsibilities and it's hard to find
time to devote
to each other's sexual needs much less get enough sleep.

As
boring as it may sound, you really have to schedule sex
these days. Now
before everyone starts whining about spontaneity, let's all
recall our
care free single days. How many nights of hot, sexual, one night
stands
were truly unplanned!? Fact is, when we're single we go out
anticipating
a romantic encounter. We all know damn well that if the
option presents itself
we've already arranged the time in our schedule.
Once married or in a long term
relationship we seem to ignore this sex
time need, assuming it will just happen.
Well you gotta make time! Take a
weekend for yourselves. Do a bed and breakfast
in the middle of nowhere
with no real intentions of trying to see any tourist
crap, and RELAX!!!
The sex will come, and hotly, after eight hours of realizing
you don't
not have any other responsibilities.

Of course the first step
in your journey to regaining your sex
life is talk about it. If you just
sit back hoping he'll suddenly carry you up
to the bedroom wearing a
Fabio wig, miraculously cured of snoring, you'll have a
long wait. If
you talk to your hubby about your feelings, remembering to protect
that
always vulnerable male sexual ego, we're pretty sure you two can work out
a
little time alone in the barn. For a highly recommended book on this
topic try,
Passionate
Marriage: Love, Sex, and Intimacy in Emotionally
Committed
Relationships.