Florida woman with terminal cancer is checking off her bucket list

Heather Osbourne @heatheronwfdn

Friday

Mar 8, 2019 at 2:00 PMMar 8, 2019 at 2:00 PM

CRESTVIEW — For 41-year-old Lisa Bova-Beard, her time to die is her time to live.

Lisa always craved a life of adventure. She was determined to meet Ellen DeGeneres, take an Alaskan cruise with her wife Katherine, go to the place where dreams come true with their nine children and find the time to take the four-hour road trip to New Orleans.

Mount Rushmore was a must-see and she hoped to surprise her New Yorker wife with tickets to a Yankees game. Life for the Bova-Beards had promise.

It wasn't until three years ago after she was gifted a bucket list box that she decided to write all her life goals down on paper. Never did she imagine her life would be cut short by cancer, leaving her only six months to make those dreams come true.

Katherine, feeling helpless about her wife's diagnoses, said she is choosing to enjoy life with her wife instead of focusing on death. She started a GoFundMe account to ask friends and family to donate money to help Lisa complete her bucket list during the time she has left.

Life has been filled with firsts ever since.

"I flew for the first time a couple of weeks ago," Lisa said last Friday. "I've always been scared of flying in planes. It was amazing."

"We went to see the play 'Wicked' and today we're going to check another thing off of my bucket list: I get to swim with dolphins."

'I was scared'

Lisa said her childhood was like many growing up in Fort Walton Beach.

She'd go to school during the week, then skate and hang out at Santa Rosa Mall on the weekends.

However, that childhood was marked by grief when her father died of lung cancer when she was just 8 years old.

Lisa was 16 when she got pregnant with her daughter. Two months after finding out she was expecting, her daughter's father died.

She had four more children and two of their fathers also died.

In 2004, she lost a child during pregnancy and her mother to lung cancer.

Life for Lisa, she said, was a struggle.

"I've pretty much always been a positive person," Lisa said. "I always had my mom to rely on while dealing with all of the loss before she died, too. I pushed it down and never dealt with it until I started therapy."

In July 2008 Lisa's life took a turn for the better after she struck up an online friendship with Katherine, who was stationed with the military in Afghanistan. In November of the same year, the couple met in person for the first time and instantly fell in love.

They were eventually married and merged their two large families into one.

"I loved everything about her," Lisa said. "I loved her her eyes, her smile and her personality. We talked about everything that happened in my past and everything that happened in her past. We talked about our pet peeves and things she loved and the things I loved. I knew I had met my soulmate the minute I saw her in the parking lot of the restaurant where we met."

Life was a dream, she said, until July 2017.

"I started having stomach issues and thought I was just constipated," Lisa said. "I was on my way to therapy but had to go to the emergency room because the pain was so bad. I went to the bathroom and it was really bloody. They told me I had colitis."

It wasn't until Dec. 12 of that year, after many doctor visits, that Lisa found out the devastating news: She had stage 4 colon cancer that had spread to her liver and lymph nodes.

"It was devastating for both of us," Katherine said. "We've always been positive in our relationship and everything we do. We cried together for three days."

"I was scared," Lisa added between tears. "I relived my mom finding out she had stage 4 cancer all over again."

Lisa fought through six months of treatment, which included surgeries, pneumonia and a collapsed lung. In August 2018 her doctors said she had beat the worst of her cancer.

"Only two lymph nodes were left with traces of cancer," Lisa said. "I was getting maintenance chemo every two weeks from August to December. On Dec. 11, my son's birthday, I did another CAT scan. Not only had it come back, it had come back in my liver and went into my lungs and exploded. The scan in December of last year showed I had 30 tumors in each lung. I had three in my liver."

Lisa said she tried a more aggressive form of chemotherapy, but decided to stop treatment after getting ill. She's now choosing to live out the rest of her life on her own terms.

"I tried to do chemo. I really tried," Lisa said, crying. "The second round of chemo made me so sick and I didn't want to live like that. I didn't want my kids coming in the room and thinking I was dead because of the way I looked.

"God is the only one who could tell you how long you live," she added. "I believe it was God who got me through the cancer the first time. So, I just prayed really really hard and we talked about it and talked about it and she (Katherine) said it was my decision — I stopped chemo. I started writing things down that I wanted to do for a while and thought it was time to start fulfilling my bucket list."

'Only God knows'

It took all the emotional strength she had for Katherine to type out her wife's story on the GoFundMe account.

Katherine, the logical spouse, said she's the one who has to think about funeral arrangements and taking care of the kids after her wife passes. Even though she does not see the fairness in Lisa's diagnoses, she treasures every day she gets to spend with her wife.

"I'm okay with her decision," Katherine said. "I'll support her no matter what. I'm the one having to do the countdown and pray God will give her another day. I'm the one questioning why a 40-year-old woman gets stage 4 cancer with no warning. She tells me to keep faith."

"I don't think about it," Lisa added. "I do what I have to do. I fulfill my wifely duties and take care of the kids. I'm living life, and that's what I wanted to do. The doctor said I have six months. Do I have six months or do I have a year? Only God knows.

"We're very excited for these next few months. Everyone is very supportive of my decision. It makes me feel all that much better having the love and support."

This story originally published to nwfdailynews.com, and was shared to other Florida newspapers in the GateHouse Media network.

Never miss a story

Choose the plan that's right for you.
Digital access or digital and print delivery.