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For months, I’ve had a dull, achy, nagging pain running from underneath my right shoulder blade, up my neck, to the base of my head. And then on Saturday, it started to get worse. By Sunday morning, it hurt so much I didn’t know what to do! I found myself standing up against walls, trying to put pressure on just the right point – ridiculous, right?

So, as futile as I assumed it would be, I called 3000 B.C. on Valentine’s Day to see if they had any massage appointments available for later that day – and surprise, surprise – they did! Aaaand the available massage therapist was a dude, which I totally prefer. [No, I’m not a girl-hater. I’m all about lady power, but I’ve never had a *great* massage from a female. Pardon the unavoidable double entendre, which I swear is not actually double entendre, but I just find boy massages a trillion times more satisfying.] Plus, I had a massage at 3000 B.C. many months ago from a female and the best word I can muster to describe it would be “fine.” Not worth the money – DEFINITELY not worth the 3000 B.C. price tag. So I asked for a man, if for no other reason, then to assure I wouldn’t get the same therapist.

Anyway, I showed up at 5pm, and was eventually greeted by a tall, shaggy red haired guy named Emerson. He was so laid back, I wasn’t sure what how it was going to go. I asked him to spend the whole 50 minutes on my back and head and oh. my. god. This was the first relief I’ve had in MONTHS. Scalp massage? Yes, please. He is fantastic at his job. I’m sure it doesn’t hurt that his mom is a massage therapist, too, and he spent a lot of his time growing up acting as her practice client. Whatever – I don’t care if it’s because of years of practice or genetic coding – bottom line: this dude’s got magic hands.

Of course the day after – and today – I’m suuuper sore. I’m still completely uncomfortable, but waaaay more limber than I was before the massage. Then again, I’ve almost completely ignored his advice to drink a bunch of water. But that doesn’t mean I have my usual massage buyer’s remorse – now, two days later, all I can think about it getting back on Emerson’s table. So, would I recommend you make an appointment with my new boyfriend and take him out for a spin? Absolutely.