As lethal as this gun is, it probably hasn’t killed as many people off the battlefield as a Dodge Viper

I mocked Max Muller of Max Motors last summer for offering free AK-47s with the purchase of a new vehicle from his Butler, Missouri, showroom. We noted the “Kalashnikovs for Clunkers” deal was the second annual offering of guns with new cars, after he offered Glocks or Gas in 2008. At the time I wrote the article, Cash for Clunkers was all the rage so my angle was how kooky an incentive a firearm was for re-upping your ride.

Well, this year Max has gone right for the jugular, trying to sell his most compensatory vehicular stock by offering one of the baddest weapons on the market, whether for the battlefield or the Viagra crowd: the Barrett .50 caliber sniper rifle. If you aren’t already familiar with the Barrett, it’s made by Ronnie Barrett in Murfreesboro (pronounced “Muf-freeze-burrow”), Tennessee, and it has become the poster-child for gun-control advocates trying to keep military-grade weaponry off the civilian market.

I’ll admit right now to my readers, I grew up a gun aficionado on a ranch in Nevada and, at age 13, I wanted little more than to become a sniper for the Marines. Well, I also really wanted a red pick-up truck with chrome roll-bars, a gun rack in the cab and vanity plates that read “Matt.” So in a deep-down, reptilian-brain way, I understand the appeal of a big V-10 and a bigger firearm, though every fiber in my adult sensibility strains against these impulses.

Short detour into my adolescent psyche aside, if you haven’t already gone to Max’s Snipers for Vipers radio ad, I highly recommend a listen. The deep voice of the narrator beckons you to make like Randal O’toole (funny, for a Portland-area bike rider, he sure loves hot rods) and head over to the nearest dealership to get a real manly killing machine with your manly killing machine: