“Sexual energy…is more a function of health than age.”

Here’s the issue, plain and simple. I own a Samsung, Galaxy S-6. Is this the phone I wanted? No. Do I need this fancy phone with dozens of apps? No. Do I talk to it? No. Do I want to? No. OK, you’re thinking – then why the heck (he–) did you buy it? Answer: Sexy Grandpa! Yes, Sexy Grandpa!

HE decided that I was living in the dark ages with my flip phone. I was fine with it. Well, when it died, and it did, we went to Verizon together to consider the options. And, a flip phone was not one of them! The sales clerk informed me that I would love the new technology and that I’d never look back. In fact, she reassured me that once I got used to all the bells and whistles, I’d wonder why I waited so long. Well, as of now, nothing she ‘predicted’ has happened! I find I use this fancy equipment mostly for a few reasons – email, phone calls, contact list, the time, occasional website visits and fitbit stats! I forget to post dates in the calendar. I’ve yet to check weather or traffic on my phone. And, all the apps with all the games and convenient ‘data’ available with a tap on the screen simply is of no interest. All the icons on the ‘home page’ actually overwhelm me.

I guess my resistance also is a reflection of what I see Sexy Grandpa doing. If he’s not checking sports scores, texting his son (none of the kids call anymore), opening emails when he hears a ding noise or taking to Siri, we actually might be doing something together. I find the modern phone an intrusion. Sexy Grandpa’s connections seems so often to replace our real time TOGETHER with what’s going on with his iPhone. Who cares? Why is this immediacy to secure information important? Why can’t checking in on a phone wait?

And, of course, my husband is in the majority. Cell phone activity seems to consume owners everywhere – gym, restaurants, walking on the street, movie theaters and really any time someone is out and about. Am I being resistant? Am I choosing to not get sucked into the very thing I find annoying when I view others always on their phones? Do I not have a ‘need to know’ by always plugging in when the need arises? Have I ever missed a birthday, appointment or any scheduled event? (Not that I’m aware of!)

Believe me, the phone is convenient and I wear it when I’m away from home. Am I attached? No. Am I content with limited use? Yes. Do I miss my flip phone? No. That doesn’t mean I’m thrilled with this purchase. It simply means that my Samsung is a phone. It is not my life or my life line. As long as I can connect when I need to, I’m fine. Maybe I am in the minority. At my age, I suspect many of my generation find current technology overwhelming as well. If not, oh, well. I smile when Papa Phil, aka, Sexy Grandpa, facetimes our grandkids. I’m glad when he finds an alternative route to a horrible traffic tie up. I’m happiest, however, when his phone is nowhere in sight and it’s just the two of us! So, that’s the story! Stay tuned. We’re counting on you to keep us young at heart!

The late Jim Rohn, a business philosopher, once said, “The major value in your life is not what you get. It’s what you become.”

Values give us a “moral” compass. The Western value system is founded upon certain clear principles, which include fairness, honesty, truth, integrity, freedom, respect for others, equality and justice. Our political values include freedom of speech, equal justice before the law and democratic rights. Qualities like compassion, humility, tolerance and forgiveness also resonate within our value system.

You are most authentic and most alive when you reflect on and talk about what you value—that which has real meaning for you. You might say these are the core values that form the essence of your character. As such, they provide the rest of us with clues as to who you really are and what principles you stand for.

What you value may sometimes include the ordinary and often unnoticed, such as a beautiful sunset, a barefoot walk on wet grass, lovers holding hands, the soft skin of a newborn baby, blooming flowers and trees, and stimulating conversation and, of course, making love to Grandma.

Values also reflect the importance we impart to issues of principle. At the deepest level, they are issues over which you may give up your life rather than compromise. On the surface, however, they represent issues that you are most likely to get into arguments over, or even lose your job over.

When we live in harmony with our values, we tend to be happier and more content. Conversely, when we live our lives contrary to our basic values, we begin to experience dissatisfaction, depression and disillusionment. Each individual has his or her own value system. What is important to me may not be important to you. Either way, it is essential that we live our lives congruent with what we value.

I value and cherish my family, my relationships and of course my special relationship and love for Grandma. What do you value?

Early in our relationship and continuing throughout our marriage, Sexy Grandpa and I created an understanding around reassuring messages. Over the years, “Be safe”, “Call if you are running late” or “Touch base” during the day when we’re each out and about have become a valued and appreciated part of our growing, intimate relationship. When I know I’m not going to make it home when I originally thought I would, I call to let my husband know. Why would I want him to worry unnecessarily? And, predictably I hear him say, “Thanks for letting me know and be safe.” Or, “Just be safe – I’ll be here when you get home.” “I love you.”

In our world, this small gesture is a big deal! It’s a reminder that we are loved. It’s a reminder that each other’s well-being is important to one another. It’s one of many opportunities we have to express how much value we place on loving communication and closeness.

Many years ago, and during a crippling snow storm, Sexy Grandpa was 20 minutes from home and called to tell me where he was, not to worry and that he’d be home soon. An hour later, no husband and no phone call. An hour and a half later, again, no husband and no phone call. Two hours slowly passed. I was frozen in panic. He didn’t answer my call. I didn’t receive one. I was absolutely petrified that something horrible had happened. How could 20 minutes turn into 2 hours?

When I finally heard the door open, I burst into appreciative tears. There was no, “Why didn’t you call me?” All I could think of is my overwhelming gratitude for his safety. Well, the explanation of what happened followed. First, phone battery died. Then just after we spoke, an overturned vehicle blocked the roadway he was on and no one could pass going in either direction. Sexy Grandpa knew I’d be absolutely frightened and there was nothing he could do at the time to easy my worry. The only thing he could control was to arrive home safely no matter how long that would take.

Even before this incident, we have always recognized the importance of reassuring phone calls. After this happened, we recommitted to keeping one another informed during delays, to touch base and to express love first and foremost in our conversations. This understanding has stood the test of time – 27+ years and a strong foundation to our enduring love.

I hope you, too, remember that reassurance is a key component to intimate relationships. May you never face the kind of uncertainty I did during that crippling snow storm.