“From Now On, America is in Trouble!”

The following is a translation of this post from Han Song’s blog. It’s not immediately clear whether this is something that acutally happened to him or just a joke. On the one hand, it’s written like the sort of joke that often gets passed around on the internet; on the other hand, as it makes reference to Haiti, if it’s a joke that’s going around it’s a very new one, possibly one Han Song wrote himself.

Translation

Taking a cab, the cab driver won’t stop talking: ‘China is so awesome! We’ve got everything. If you’ve got one [kind of] guided missile, you’ve got another one, and we’ve got a third one [that’s even better]. America has been stupid. Hu Jintao’s mind is quite complex. He sent off the Big Dipper*, why? Because poor countries will buy our [rockets]. If you Americans sell them for five dollars, we will sell them for two! The Soviets weren’t the same, only doing military stuff, they weren’t making money like we are. We make many things and sell them. Yesterday a big boat was launched again in Shanghai, three aircraft carriers, so big! In twenty years we’ve made ten aircraft carriers, why? Hu Jintao wants them to escort freighters. We sent planes to Haiti to save people, of those that arrived there on the first day, all of them were developed countries! The plane flew for more than twenty hours straight, normal countries can’t do that!

Twenty years in the future, our China will be the elder brother of the world. Haven’t we been the older brother before [in history]? There are even more advanced things that they’re definitely in the process of making right now that haven’t been made public yet. Here, it’s really ‘whatever we want, we have’. During Mao’s time, he made the atomic and hydrogen bombs, America is now scared, right? From now on, America is in trouble. I support the Communist Party, without the Communist Party China wouldn’t be well off. Only with the CCP can we be so awesome. Changing to someone else wouldn’t work. Can Hu Jintao have another term? After he retires, can he chair the Military Commission of the CCP? Jiang Zemin can retire a bit later…’

He counts the money and then says, ‘hey, how about some gas money, these days you can’t even make enough money to eat shit!’

Note

*A military missile or satellite system. I will edit in more details later, my computer is currently having some weird error that doesn’t allow me to type in Chinese, so I can’t currently search for details about it.

Thanks Brendan. Like I said, I hadn’t heard of it, and the computer I was using at the time (my work computer, which is terrible) had stopped letting me type in Chinese so I had no way of searching for it.

not only nationalistic arrogance, but also a feeling of shame for the last century and a half event’s against China by Western powers. While some of the shame due to these events (and hatred for Western countries) can be rationalized (such as the unequal treaties and the support of the GMD (sorry, GMD fans)) the rest of it is mostly shit that is going to end up biting the CCP in the ass – especially as nationalism gets a bit out of hand. it also doesn’t help much that history in this country is filled more with lies than history in the US.

@ Wahaha: What the hell are you talking about? This post is a translation of something a Chinese person said, and what’s more it’s not like Han Song is a huge dissident or anything. When Google announced they were leaving China he wrote a whole diatribe about how stupid and naiive they were and blamed nothing on the government.

If you have issues with the post, take it up with Han Song; this has nothing to do with “you people” (whatever that means).