Word Play

My earliest memoriesrevolve around being read to by my father and playing word games with him. At first it was mostly rhyming games. Later we got into meanings and how meanings can change. I always remember laughing a lot and having loads of fun. When I was in the 6th grade I had an 11th grade 5th month reading score on the IOWA Test of Basic Skills. That was my dad’s influence!

I still like to play with words whether it is reading, writing, working crossword puzzles, playing Scrabble, or teaching young children to read I cannot get enough of words.

So it was with great joy, pleasure, and indulgence when a friend recently e-mailed me the following.

This has been circulating on the internets for several years. I do not know who sent it originally. The email said it was from, “The Washington Post’s MENSA Invitational.” Evidently that is incorrect. According to WPM International it was not sent out by The Washington Post and the author appears to be that Master or Mistress of all Anonymous written pieces in the Universe.

Enough talk. I hope you enjoy this and laugh as hard as I did as you read it.

You are here-by warned. I laughed so hard I got a triple stomach ache half way through the piece.

ORIGINAL EMAIL:

The Washington Post’s Mensa invitational once again asked readers to take
any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing
one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the 2009 winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus : A person who’s both stupid and an *sshole.

3. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign
of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.

7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
who doesn’t get it.

9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Very funny. You mentioned that you are a scrabble player. Do you think the first 17 words in the list would be acceptable for the game?

Not a word but an amusing and descriptive expression from my old part of the world is “Getting the Bull by the Udder”, the Southern African version of the British “getting the wrong end of the stick.” Those with rural roots will appreciate it, urban dwellers who do not know the word for “male cows” perhaps not.

Roberta, I made pork cutlets tonite with your cream tarragon recipe and our meal was delicious. My sauce was a bit deeper in color than yours due to the pork juices, but very tasty. Thanks for the idea. Made my husband quite happy. Also, enjoyed the Word Play. Nice bonus!