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Wednesday, October 28, 2009

New Word: Gambreler

Hangs animal carcasses on overhead rail preparatory to dressing: Slits skin to expose tendons in hind ankles, using knife, and inserts "gamb stick" (hooked metal or wooden rod) between tendon and ankle bone to spread legs. Hooks gamb stick to trolley on overhead rail and pushes carcasses to next work station. Cuts flesh between toes of carcass and removes toenails.

Wasn't expecting that. Spotted this in The Onion (Oct. 22-28, 2009) in the American Voices section. You know, they pose a question pertinent to recent news and conjure vox populi responses. One woman was listed as a gambreler and I'd never heard of this. I'm not terribly surprised it slipped beneath my radar, given how little I have to do with animal slaughter and rendering.

What's even more charming is the list of pre-existing conditions that are known to negatively impact or compromise the productivity of an efficient gambreler:

Pregnancy (normal)

Sprains and strains (back)

Repetitive strain injury

Depression (major)

So if you have any of these conditions, please don't bother applying. They will get in the way of your performance. In no sense do they imply that having the job might cause any of these conditions (well, at least not the first one).

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I'm a Minneapolis-based copyeditor and blogger. I live with my beautiful and clever wife, and two obnoxious cats. I'm into homebrewing, linguistics and news on North Korea. I don't tolerate intolerance, and I procrastinate promptly.