“It is the nature of man to pursue greatness if that is what is expected of him.” – John Steinbeck

“I have given them Your word; and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I do not pray that You should take them out of the world, but that You should keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth. As You sent Me into the world, I also have sent them into the world.” (John 17:14-18)

It is from this passage that we Christians have culled the often heard phrase to be “in the world, but not of the world”. I capture this thought as “IBNO“.

In obedience to this John 17 passage, I’ve developed five lessons that I believe we Christian parents are responsible for demonstrating and transmitting to our young and even adult children. As in most parenting lessons, these are habits that are better caught than taught. In other words, we parents have to consistently show them to our children.

Lesson #1: Believe in something bigger than yourself (v18)

Lesson #2: Be true to yourself and if everyone likes you, something is wrong (v14)

Lesson #3: Your real adversary is not of this world (v15)

Lesson #4: There is a such thing as absolute Truth (v17)

Lesson #5: They have a supernatural mission

So, there you have my five IBNO parenting lessons. I pray that it starts a movement #IBNO. Use that hashtag on all of your social media channels. Tell your friends.

Be #IBNO.

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"Dr. Arnold is a phenomenal speaker who brings new life to best practices in marriage enrichment. My wife and I are constantly challenged to take our personal lives and marriage to the next level. Dr. Arnold has certainly raised the bar. ~ Thanks, Jason & Vanessa

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About Dr. Harold Arnold

I am the author of Marriage ROCKS for Christian Couples and the accompanying Leader's Guide, both published by Judson Press.

As a Social & Organizational psychologist who is also trained as a Marriage and Family therapist, I help families reach their dreams--not necessarily in terms of just money or things--but in those relational areas that ultimately matter most.

I help leaders build what I call "relational equity" in homes, workplaces, and ministries by encouraging individuals, teams, and congregations to tap into their true inner strengths and their higher calling.

Most importantly, I encourage you to assert yourself as an influential leader in your home, workplace, and ministry.

Black and Married With Kids
Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are inspirational trendsetters, utilizing video and blogging as a medium for transforming African American marriages. Check out their award winning website that is both educational and entertaining.http://www.blackandmarriedwithkids.comHouse on the Rock Family Ministries
Dr. Bruce and Karen continue to develop innovative ways to help every aspect of family life. Their zeal helps keep me excited too.http://www.hotrfm.orgInverse Ministries
Clint and Penny are marriage missionaries with an amazing story of forgiveness, redemption, and humility. They inspire me every time I speak with them. Their 40-day marriage mission trips across the U.S. is amazing to witness.http://www.inverseministries.orgNicole Cleveland
Nicole is an inspiration. It just takes 30 seconds talking to her to realize that. While her credits as an author and speaker are impressive, I'm most touched by the way she uses her own transparency to help others find healing from abuse.http://nicolecleveland.comSheila Wray Gregoire
Sheila's website is chock full of resources for both leaders and moms. I really like her humor and down to earth style and her seemingly endless source of helpful advice.http://www.sheilawraygregoire.comTwogether Marriages
Deidra and Dwight Roussaw know travel for couples. When I need to talk to someone about planning or ideas for a travel-related event for couples the first call is always to them.http://www.twogethermarriages.blogspot.com

About Me

This is the question that I have asked many of my family, friends, and those who have trusted me in various leadership roles. The word that I most frequently hear is “teacher“.

Initially, I wondered if “teacher” aptly captures my complex array of interests and aspirations. But, the more I think about it, the more I have come to embrace myself as an educator. After all, I love to learn. Some of this is evident in my academic journey that has culminated in my doctorate in Psychology and Master’s degree in Marriage and Family therapy.