Right when you think that the British fanbase that’s grown up in renewed fervor around the Royal Family is much classier than Hollywood, you hear about this questionable celebration. See, Queen Elizabeth II‘s Diamond Jubilee is coming up soon, and in addition to a rumored Spice Girls reunion, now British citizens can mark the occasion with their very own themed vajazzling kits.

“It’s in patriotic red white and blue and you can wear it anywhere—making it a jubilee for your jubblies or a sparkling street party for your sexy bits.”

This is just too much! You know they’re not doing it for the Queen at all. On last night’s William & Kate: One Year Later, Her Majesty thought it was “horrid” that Kate Middleton‘s wedding dress was on display (in a creepy halo of light) at Buckingham Palace, so if she even knew that this weird homage to her Diamond Jubilee existed, she would probably implode.