October 1, 2012

Check out this new Pumking Tap Handle!

Tap Handles are always cool! It's a fact. Even the lame ones are still cool... [/PawnStars] I mean, that's how fucking awesome tap handles are. Think about it. Go into a bar with a shitload of taps and just gaze for a moment (or an hour) at the spectacle of awesomeness. Go into a dive with just a few tap handles on display (maybe just the basic bullshit american lager shit) and if there ain't a girl working the bar, then those pieces are the prettiest things in there by far. Oh, and they're always good for knocking someone over the head with if you've got beer rage. Say for instance if some douchebag comes in a starts playing Ska Musuck. I'd break a shitty green Heineken tap handle over some Fuckin' Rube's head any morning of the week at the pub if need be... but this Pumking puller, man, is this thing a work of art or what?! This is just too pretty to bust over some numbskull's chromedome.

Tell me that ain't badass. Too bad I don't got a keg area set up in my place. Perhaps sometime in the near future, but I'd still love to drop the measly $45 and just have this thing to admire and gently stroke. Not a weird thought in the least I'd say.

And even though it's widely available on ST's website for $8, I've been waiting for an upcoming Pumpkin Beer Tasting to hopefully score one of these glasses for free with a bottle purchase. I doubt that shit will ever happen though! I might as well just order it for my throne room and get the agony of waiting over with. Goblets are always some serious shit, and I'm one seriously serious dude when it comes to goblets. Seriously. And while glass ain't the most worthy of elements for a goblet, this one is the only in its class.

Thanks, now I'm gonna be trolling eBay or one of those tap handles on the cheap.

I was at a bar this weekend that had Pumple Drumkin on tap. Unfortunately it wasn't working and the bartender wasn't skilled enough to fix it. But the tap handle was pretty awesome. It was a wooden cutout of little Pumple. Probably the second best pumpkin beer tab handle, next to the new Pumking handle.

My words are my own and as of posted from their creation forward I hereby claim originality to them. Pictures may prove to be promotional items and are the sole possessions of their respectful owners and/or companies. I do not sell, nor do I buy. I only rent, so therefore, nothing I own is truly mine.