* Yesterday, the anchors touched on this, but it bears further exploration. The last week of the year, no one wants to work. Everyone’s fried from 360 days of hustle and we all want to relax. A lucky few may get time off between the holidays, but that’s rarely (read: never) the case for folks in the TV biz.

To combat the overwhelming boredom and depression this brings on, some genius decided it would be a great idea to generate a ton of pre-taped pieces looking back on the previous year. I could kiss that guy. It allows you to burn precious minutes with very little work. And very little work is all I’m capable of at the moment.

Today, we ran a package on the year’s most memorable quotes. (God bless you, Miss Teen South Carolina, and the Iraq and such as.) But whoever made this thing has a weird sense of history. It’s basically several minutes of soundbites from witnesses to terrible crimes sandwiched between six bites from the befuddled beauty queen. There’s no flow to it at all.

For the record, “having a pulse” is the only job requirement to produce a 4:30 a.m. newscast.

* NBC5’s own Dick Johnson expressed interest in attending one of my upcoming improv shows. You’ll know when that happens because the next morning, he’ll be unable to read the news due to his mind being blown.