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Advice for Online Dating: If you are looking for something respectable.. do not bother looking between the hours of midnight and 4:45am. For some reason, men turn into solid horndogs between these hours.

I was online the other night around 1am. Just figured I’d check my fan mail before I went to bed. Immediately I got instant messages from 3 different guys. The first one almost immediately starting asking me questions like “When was the last time you had sex?” and “What’s your favorite position?” The 2nd just flat out asked if I wanted to meet up.

The 3rd only slightly surprised me. A few pleasantries to break the ice, followed by “Do you want to talk dirty?” Umm.. no. “Well, I just thought I’d ask because I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t want to.”

Excuse me.. “MAKE” me?! Dude, Sweetheart, Moron.. you can’t MAKE me do anything. Even if you were here in the flesh, you couldn’t MAKE me do anything.

I understand I am wired different than guys. But.. seriously? Let’s say I was all “yeah, lets meet up and do this.” Does that not scare you!?