Welcome to Bottles of Djinn, the Web’s #1 source for entertaining, inspirational, and generally useful information, all specifically designed to support the supernatural world’s endless war against mundane reality. Like it or not, the Djinn, former undisputed masters of this world, are reawakening all across the globe. Welcome to the beginning of the end of the world as you know it…

When a horrible occult accident tears open a rift deep in the mind of mild mannered Martin Kessler, a new kind of Superhero is born. Armed with the limitless creative vision of the power kepheric, he dons his magical armor to strike back against the powers of banality, oppression, and despair as the mad genius SUPERFRESH, unexpected guardian of wonder, innovation and the transhuman way!

Some say it was a dark prophecy that guided the Secret Society of the Hapless Ending to seek him out so long ago, while others claim it was all just a tragic chance encounter, but, whatever the actual reason, as a child Martin found himself selected to be the human sacrifice in a complex magical ritual, the ultimate goal of which was nothing less than the end of the world as we know it. Although this unspeakable crime was foiled by the intervention of another magical order, those who saved his life arrived too late to prevent the opening of the infamous Narthex Gate, the beginnings of an interdimensional rift in the fabric of space and time which was to grow larger and larger until it swallowed everyone on Earth. It didn’t though.

By healing his near fatal wound and saving the boy’s life, the Guardians were able to bind the Narthex deep within the mind of the child, yet the lingering effects of this apocalyptic stopgap would later prove to be as much a curse as it was a blessing. The presence of the Narthex within him twisted his mind and filled his thoughts, dreams, and nightmares with strange creatures beyond the imagining of most men. While this also gave Martin access to an extensive variety of mysterious powers (his Memory Palace alone has proven robust enough to rebuff repeated invasion attempts by both heaven and hell), tapping into and releasing these magical energies is almost always accompanied by unforeseeable side-effects, for the Narthex is even still, at this very minute, straining to escape its bonds so that it may at last consume the rest of the planet. Some days, it can make Martin sort of insufferable, particularly if he goes too long with his treatments.

In order to regulate the crushing internal force of the ultraweird energies coursing through his veins, Martin created the costumed identity "Superfresh" as well as the Superworld Superhero Training Academy, to safely and gradually release a select subset of these endlessly wild ideas into the active imaginations of children playing makebelieve (and into the minds of a painfully small number of suitable adults as well). As a convenient side-benefit, at least a few of these young students should one day provide Earth with its very last and best line of defense against the invading denizens of the Deep when the Narthex completes its apocalyptic meltdown and releases untold horrors upon a completely unsuspecting and unprepared human populace. That last part is generally left out of the brochures, which focus instead on how fun and entertaining these unique classes are for people of all ages (so try not to mention it).

Anyway, thanks for listening to this rather odd tale, although I can assure you that there will be many more to follow just like it. If you’d like to actually meet Superfresh in the flesh, you can do so this Saturday and Sunday, September 28th and the 29th, 2013, at the Greater Pittsburgh Comicon in Monroeville, where he'll be recruiting new students to help him delay the perhaps inevitable end of the world, but, if we don’t see you there then, as always, Good Luck and Namaste.

Simon Zealot is a recovering super villain now trying to help all of those insignificant common people he once sought to enslave and/or annihilate. He's the author of three books, The Shadow Society Guidebook, The Malakimae Manual and The Hermetic Grimoire of the Neo-Templar Order. He is also a special investigator, a martial arts instructor, an astrologer, a hypnotist, a fire performer, an escape artist, a world class mentalist, and, of course, one of the once conquered, but now returning, Djinn.