keep off the grass..

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

This is my favourite quote.This describes my entire love life.This describes anything that starts off passionately,and ends passionately.It is necessary.It is what makes you wholesome.

"It begins when the object of your affection bestows upon you a heady
hallucinogenic dose of something you’ve never even dared to admit you
wanted; an emotional speedball of thunderous love and excitement. Soon
you start craving that attention with the hungry obsession of any
junkie. When it’s withheld you turn sick, crazy, not to mention
resentful of the dealer who encouraged this addiction in the first place
but now refuses to pony up the good stuff. Goddamn him and he used to
give it to you for free. Next stage finds you skinny, shaking in a
corner, certain only that you’d sell your soul just to have that one
thing one more time. Meanwhile the object of your adoration is now
repulsed by you. He looks at you like someone he’s never met before. The
irony is you can hardly blame him. I mean, check yourself out. You’re a
mess, unrecognizable even to your own eyes. You have now reached
infatuations final destination, the complete and merciless devaluation
of self."

This is why we need to prioritize and base our source of happiness not solely on a person,but on other things,as materialistic as they maybe.Yet,i would say,there is nothing that compares to the happiness that emanates from a person.They are other kinds of happiness.But not the same.Never the same.

Monday, August 20, 2012

The name denotes how photography slowly evolved into art in India as
early as the 90s.Prabuudha aged,58 died of a heart attack while at work
on the 11th of august,2012.

"Prabuddha's pictures disorient the person looking at them. They
attach themselves deeply to you while, simultaneously floating free of
your conscious life and memories, refusing to become part of the
documentary or circumstantial record. As evidence they are entirely
unreliable and inadmissable. We are in the realm of dreams, and memories
- exactly whose is never clear..."
Geoff Dyer, 2011

Prabuddha a self taught photographer,made a woman look raw,sensual,sexy and everything you wouldnt normally think she is,at passing unless looked at through his lens.You can see it from some of his pictures of Lakshmi Menon,his long time partner(who is almost 30years younger) and muse.It must feel amazing to be seen and perceived as not just beautiful but beautiful in a way, that you know noone else can sum you up to be.She constituted a fair size of his work.He made sex an art,sexual photography an art.The man has photographed some very very sexy stuff in his time.Do take some time to take a look at his website.Dont miss the longing or the comissioned folders.Explosive stuff.A legend.R.I.P. The man was a rockstar.Respect.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

So,i now have first hand experience of what it feels like to be on the receiving end.At my house,we have various employees for various reasons.i have no idea why we have that many people lying around.Either way a whole group of people,possibly belonging to a family were hired about two weeks ago.

So,i start with my daily holiday routine of waking up at 10 am,dragged out of bed by my mother who rushes to work soon after informing me the whereabouts of my breakfast which is mainly just carrot juice and a fruit.i find it,find that mango and a knife,get back to my 16 degree celcius room and do the usual-checking my mail etc by my desk.

On the instructions of my claustrophobic mother, i left the front door open to let some cool air come in that may finally help me breathe some fresh healthy air according to her.Around 12pm while i m still at my desk chatting with a friend online,i hear some shuffling noise assuming its my mother returning from work for lunch,i continue my gossiping.then the door opens which is like 5yards away from the chair i m sitting in and my thief who i have never seen before is staring at me.i recover from my initial shock and ask him stupid questions like who are you?/what are you doing here? etc etc.then he walks into my room and tries to shut the door behind him.At this point my senses fully kicked in,and my room just shrunk by ten times its size as i realized how close he was and how quickly he could overpower me. i start screaming like a banshee like every other insane girl.I picked up my phone and picked up the knife i was cutting my fruit with and i started screaming louder,and continued threatening him as well with god knows what.what he didnt know and what i knew was that all my screaming was in vain as i was in the second floor of my house tucked away in a nice little corner and nobody will hear me.Somehow i managed to wave my knife at him and my phone pretending to call people and he slowly retreated out of my room as i started walking towards him.then somemore screaming and he finally starts running down the stairs.i run behind him like a lunatic down the stairs when i see him pull out "my" house keys out of "his" pocket and try to unlock the front door i left open,which is when it completely dawned on me that it was all premeditated and he shut the door behind him and locked the door with a set of duplicate keys he had made,before he came to find me.Pretending to be unnerved by this,i continued giving him directions to open the door right away and get the hell out of my house.What surprised me the most was in between all this he kept addressing me as madam and said he was going to leave.so he fumbled for about 5minutes with the keys,what with all my screaming and howling i think i managed to confuse him the right amount.after which he fled.meanwhile i called the front watchmans cabin on the intercom and instructed them to hold the young man who just ran out of my front door.they managed to catch up with him and hold him until my parents rushed from work.

After a thorough beating from my father and the cops arriving,i was later informed that he was one of our newest employees who apparently even assisted me in my weekly routine of gardening once.i somehow could not recollect his face or having ever seen him before.He happened to be my age,who also hails from a nearby village who came to town to work with his parents during the holidays and to start attending college this year post his summer vacation.What drove him to do what he did,i have no idea.He confessed that he had come to search the house for money and other valuables that may help him "settle"in life.well thats what hes doing now in jail i guess.I still cannot completely get over what could have happened if he didnt leave my room when i waved my little knife at him.My father keeps arguing that the sanest thing to do would have been me running back into my room and closing the door and bolting it instead of running behind him,i have absolutely no idea as to what got into me.Either way,crime is not always committed by the experienced,everyone starts off somewhere.He could have started his not so promising career at it by silencing me when he realised he wasnt alone in the house.It was my little brush with what could have been.Things are definitely not in perspective for me post-trauma like they should me.i m still confused little me.

Oh, i also happened to cast my first vote this year half an hour after the incident.not such a life changing experience either.i just went there with no particular candidate in mind and chose on the spot.and pressed my little blue button.

Friday, June 8, 2012

after years of dicking around with your personal style,it is time to select a
signature lipstick. This is the lipstick that will get you through thick
and thin. When you are screaming for mercy during childbirth, this is
the lipstick that will be smeared across your face. When you kiss the
corpses of your dead parents, this is the color that will stain their
cheeks. This is the lipstick that will flow into the fine lines and
wrinkles around your mouth as the death rattle grips your throat.
Choosing this lipstick is a momentous task. In order to complete it, you
need to be slightly drunk.” -Simon Doonan, Eccentric Glamour

Thursday, June 7, 2012

1.A film based on Mary Pinchot Meyer(she was called catherine caswell in the film),one of John.F.Kennedy s many mistresses whose Ex-husband happens to be an Ex-CIA agent.So basically she is aware of the usual drill.Thing is she wasnt just one of his mistresses to him,she was special even, to an extent where she influenced his views on nuclear disarmament and rapprochement with Cuba.She was bold,intelligent,beautiful and she was more than just another woman to him.JFK eventually got assassinated for his brashfulness and so did mary pinchot meyer shortly after JFK s assassination.A few days before her 44th birthday,she was shot in the face point-blank.She knew too much,she was taken care of.The film though is shown through the eyes of a teenager who was Ms.Meyers neighbour who also happens to have a teenage-boy crush on her,so he pretty much stalks her throughout the film.It took away the importance of her relationship with JFK,as the boys character is only fictious.Nevertheless,it is a film definitely worth watching.

P.S: google Mary Pinchot Meyer if you are as interested in conspiracies as i am.

2.A film based on a true story.During world war II ,a bunch of siberian gulags escape their camp and walk 4000miles past Mongolia and reach India.Some die as free men along the way and some make it to India.It probably didnt capture the intensity of the real story.Still,it keeps you captivated at all the key scenes.I dont know about you,but biographies are always a favourite with me.

3.Russell Crowe at his usual best.The perfect timing for the perfect plot is all it takes to rescue the mother of his child from a high security U.S prison where she is imprisoned for life for a murder she did not commit.At this point she would have lost every appeal as they had an eye witness testifying against her and 0 evidence.Keeps you on your toes.

4.Ed Norton has one day to prepare himself to go to jail for life.He stands between two choices-either take the high road,never look back and stay a free man,or stay locked up for good.you have to watch it to enjoy it.pans out well enough.

5.Milk is an oscar nominated biography,based on Harvey Milk,a gay rights activist and a politican. He was the first openly gay person to be elected to public office in California, as a member of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors.The film revolves around Harveys' struggle as a gay rights activist. Also features the very hot James Franco.One of Sean Penns finest performance to date.Nailed it.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

What is it with movies and making everything seem so much more fantastic than they are,either that or they incite grief like its the end of the world.Ah!movies..they have inspired me almost everyday.Yes,i watch one everyday.They ve kept me company throughout my dark college period,cheered me up when i'm not really in the mood to even sit with the light on,and i also had an overdose of them on those exceptional lazy sundays.i blame movies for my high expectations in relationships!Dont you think so? Maybe thats why no man could ever keep me too happy for too long.And let me make it clear,i do not have daddy issues.Hence the most plausible explanation i can come up with is - the movies!I dont like movies the cliche way as much as i may sound that way.I like movies with loose ends,like the Last night..the one with Keira Knightley where she is married to Sam Worthington and happens to have an old boyfriend visiting when her husbands out of town on an office trip defiling his colleague who happens to be Eva Mendez(yes, they just had to make her the evil seductress).Either way Keira Knightley is spending a night out with her ex who happens to be a french guy from paris(i mean who doesnt love the europeans?) ,who also happens to be a writer.(uggh!and yes,he just happens to be that sexy in a delicious, poetic way).Anyway,they go out ,rekindle,kiss and just spend time.No, there was no raunchy sex involved.It was just time spent between people who loved each other deeply once.i mean it could happen to anyone.How many of us have not been in "love" since middle school?All of us either thought it was love or just maybe lets say hypothetically, it was 'love' sufficient for that age group in that particular time frame.So yes,all of us also have that one we came to share something deeper than we did in high school with, in college.Doesnt mean you go somewhere with it.Doesnt mean we dont.but the question is what happens if nothing happens and we meet after?I would want it to be poetic.I mean i m not being filmy.My definition of poetic is meet randomly, have a decent conversation with no awkwardness and with the utmost respect and nostalgia.No, i would not want to be friends with his wife.But i would want to know hes doing well or maybe i just want to be happy knowing he has an ugly wife who probably will never be as hot as i am(evil laugh).Anyway,m off topic.What i was trying to say was movies make you want to believe.Alright,what about War Horse?i mean isnt it epic how that horse, Joey makes its way back to the english boy who brought him up and survives war?He literally gets sold to an english officer,who then dies and the horse becomes a slave to the germans,then it gets lost and is taken in by a little german girl,then again slave to the germans,then back to the english.i mean ,Damn!Theres a scene in the movie where Joey gets caught in barbed wire, while he was running away from a hotzone,what with all that firing and all.So both the parties at war see Joey and both of them come together to rescue a horse-a german and an englishman.They have small talk about the war,flip a coin on who gets to keep the horse and split.I think what Spielberg tried to convey was that in a time of war,two people from the opposite lines of fire came together to rescue an animal,spirited enough to live through it.I mean noone really wants to fight a war.they are all common men-butchers,farmers,bakers who happen to be pushed along with the rest of the herd to fight for whats rightfully theirs.They are terrified,scarred,broken yet they fight-some with courage,some with the fear of being shot by their own if they dont get out there and shoot someone.its obviously one of those larger than life hotchpotch movie
schemes.But who can resist one with that insync-with-your-emotions
background music that comes with every movie and elevates that moment in
the movie for you.And its Speilberg we are talking about here.You just cant argue with his grand gestures in a movie.i might have just given you the worst examples i could have out of those billion good movies i watched.i just couldnt think of any for now.

So what i was trying to say is, thanks to movies in general,we are messed up either in a beautiful-yes i m going to be unbelievably/unnecessarily optimistic about life,career,boys,our future and everything else way or we are just living in our make believe world(i am).Either way,it does the job doesnt it?I have never thought of anything in the supposed "right" way.Maybe its my liberating education,maybe its my less severe indian background ,appalling all those cliche indian aunties,or maybe its just my lack of adherence to a system of any kind.You have any idea how many indian girls are made to believe they have to get married just because it is the age to get married?or just because the boy is from a well known circle and has sacks of money or because she wouldnt be fertile enough to have kids in her 30s(i mean dont we already have only about 400 eggs left in our reproductive period)?Who are these people who suddenly decided one day-yes,this is how it is going to be.That this is called the marriage institution and that we are going to adhere by it even when it is 2012.I would like to meet that Einstein and smack his face.I dont mean to sound cynical.but why do we need to be married?why cant we just be?why cant we love as many as we can,i m not referring to sex or the relish you may find in being with different kind of men/women.I am talking about how for some of us who have met people and always learnt something from them,taken something away from one relationship and shared the same in another.It could be a friend,a teacher,a stranger,a patient.You learn so much from just watching people.You learn to feel,you learn to love,to live,to appreciate,to want,to dream,to learn.Marriage doesnt necessarily mean the end of anything.I m just citing it as an example as to what shackles us.one of those many that do.Fame,power,wealth-i want it all just like everyone else.not even being modest about it.Just that it irks me when i have to do something just because it is the way of life.Or am i hoping for too much?