GUEST POST: Bottling It In

Bottling up our emotions is not the solution.

Shola’s Note: Hey Solutionists! In my effort to introduce you to some amazing people who are working hard to make this world a more positive place, I have a treat for you! On this month’s Solutionist Spotlight, I have the honor of presenting healthcare superstar, jewelry-maker and positivity enthusiast, Nahla Zaki. So, without further ado, here’s Nahla!

Many of us plead guilty of oftentimes bottling up our emotions and burying them deep in the pits of our souls.

Every so often, more is shoveled in, and the pile keeps looking like a twisted mountain of negativity just waiting for an avalanche to hit. In order to live with true positivity, we must stop the avalanche before it starts, and find a way to get rid of the excess baggage.

But first, let’s analyze why we do this and how to mitigate such situations to prevent such storms.

Understanding the underlying causes behind why we do certain things is key to implement positive change.

Understanding the Delicate Balance

As strong as humans may seem, we are also very delicate creatures.

Isn’t that how things go? Yin and Yang or smiling through the pain. Things happen in twos and counter parts.

Many of us bottle up our feelings oftentimes to avoid an argument, to avoid coming off as weak, to hide feelings of pain from others, or to try and simply forget. Or maybe for fear that somebody will not understand and judge or attack us, or even worse, we’ll have nobody to vent to.

It’s like a pile up of cars on the freeway on the way home from work. We need to learn to tackle our emotions proactively and not let it drain the life out of us or damage our relationships. Addressing a situation will do you more good than harm.

Dealing With What’s Inside

There are several ways to deal with bottled up emotions, and as usual the best solution is often the simplest one.

All that we have to do is allow the waves to come rolling in and then bring us to shore.

There’s a famous Egyptian proverb that reads, “for the benefit of the flowers, we water the thorns too.”

If we want to be completely happy, we have to mend what is broken inside by acknowledging its presence. Simply venting to a close friend, a family member, or a loved one is so helpful. If those options are not available, vent to an acquaintance, a counselor, or a neighbor.

Having human contact is so essential to our health and well-being. I guarantee you that just by releasing the words out of your body you will already start to feel relieved, even if the slightest bit.

If you are upset with someone, have a mature conversation and explain your side of the story and work toward finding a solution. That’s one more step closer to relief. That is why it is always so important to listen to others. The key is to listen, hear them out, understand, and put yourself in their shoes, if possible.

If you have nobody to talk to, try a school or work counselor. Immerse yourself in places where you can make friends. A club at work or on campus, the gym, in line at the store, anywhere.

Exercise is also helpful–whether is for your mind or your body. Go for a run, do some yoga, read a book, meditate, lift some weights, eat healthy, or listen to your favorite music. These are powerful tools that should not be underestimated when it comes to providing the necessary boost to release pent-up negative energy.

Most of all, remind yourself that you are in control of your emotions, and that the answers are always within you. Simply writing down your challenges in a journal and brainstorming ways to overcome them, is very empowering.

And let’s not forget that we are so fortunate to live in an era where help is only a click away. There are many blogs (like this one, of course) where you can meet groups of people who may be going through the same challenges. They may have helpful advice for you, or simply an ear to hear you out.

Most of all, it’s imperative to not let past or current events to take over your life. Address them the best that you can and consistently work hard to overcome the ones that are slowing you down. Continue to make friends, be positive and remember that while you can’t control past events, you can always control your thoughts and actions.

Make the most out of your life, it’s precious. Don’t bottle it in, blog it out.

About Nahla

Nahla Zaki is a proactive and passionate woman focused on helping others in any way that she can. Whether it is a smile or stopping to see how a person’s day is going, it is clear that she loves the company of others. Her passion for life is displayed through her work at UCLA Health, her non-profit organization designed to help people in war-torn countries, and on her jewelry website, Le Jolie Bijoux. She loves being outdoors, cooking, and spending time with her loved ones.

Comments

Thanks so much for the reminder of the dangers of holding on to negative emotions. For years I kept feelings of frustration and hurt to myself, I figured the people (employers) I was dealing with would never see the situation from my point of view. Holding on to those feelings usually ended in the “avalanche” you spoke of and I only succeeded in hurting myself. I could go on for pages, but I won’t bore you with the details! I’ve learned to keep these feelings in perspective, keep a check on my anger and express myself calmly but firmly. Not always successful, but at least I recognize the symptoms and try to mitigate the situation before the snow starts moving.

All my best to both of you and “keep on truck’n” (showing my age!) Kat

I have the honor of knowing both Shola and Nahla and can definitely say that they are both amazing. I feel that they both touch on subjects that connect with all of us and Nahla touched on something that we all have probably done at some point in our lives and probably still do. Thank you both for sharing this blog with us.

Thank you so much for sharing a part of your world and I am so glad you were able to overcome such obstacles in your life. It is so imperative to recognize and assess the situation before it blows over. Easier to be happy and positive 🙂

Yenny, thank you so much for the kind words, I can say the same for you 🙂 I am so happy you enjoyed this post !

Meet Shola

Hi, my name is Shola and I'm the founder of The Positivity Solution. I'm a corporate trainer, incurable optimist, and writer who is committed to changing the world by helping as many people as possible to live and work more positively. Click on the "About" link on the main menu bar to get the full scoop on my story.

Become part of The Solution!

Enter your name and email below to get FREE articles sent to your inbox to help you work and live with more positivity.

Also, you'll get my free guide: The Definitive Guide for Dealing with Extremely Difficult People, as a gift for signing up!

No spam, ever. Because we all know that there's nothing positive about spam (including the edible kind).