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Monday, 18 February 2013

She Loves Bad Boys

I'm bad and proud of it. - Mr Bumpy

Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

Mr Woof and I are both officially "bad boys" at the moment, according to Mum at any rate.

Mr Woof's bad, which is unusual for him, because it's been raining for days. No, Mum doesn't think Mr Woof made it rain. She says he's a bad boy because of what he does to avoid going out in the rain. He wees and poos all over the patio. Whenever the rain stops, Mum scrubs the patio with bleach, but as soon as the rain starts again, Mr Woof refuses to go out and get his paws wet, so the patio becomes doggy toilet all over again.

I'm a bad boy because I went for an adventure last night.

While Mum had the door open, telling Mr Woof to go out for a wee before bed, and Mr Woof was staying inside saying he didn't want to get his paws wet, I took advantage of the situation and darted outside. Mum's learned she can't catch me, so she did things like calling me for treats, but I didn't come back.

I'm not going to tell you what I did, because that's an OFS (Official Feline Secret), but rest assured it was incredibly awesome and took quite a while. Mum waited up for another hour after her bed-time for me to come home, but I didn't.

I came back in when she took Mr Woof for his midnight wee. (Mr Woof's got a four-hour bladder at most. Mum says having a very old dog is very much like having a very young baby.)

But, like I said in the title, Mum does love us even when she thinks we're bad boys. I know that because she still gives us cuddles and treats, and still gave us our Friskies this morning. (Yes, I know that Mr Woof eats Friskies out of my bowl when he thinks I'm not looking, and that Mum puts in enough for both of us.),

So I'm bad and unrepentant, but I'm still loved. It's a pretty good life being Supreme Feline Overlord.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere,
I remain,
Mr Bumpy,
Bloggercat,
Supreme Feline Overlord.

Books by Iris, available in paperback and ebook versions, from:

Patchwork

Patchwork is an anthology of short stories and poems by author and blogger Iris Carden. In this volume, you will deal with the aftermath of a dog bite in Bad Moon Rising, spend a sleepless night with The Possum in the Roof, and investigate a weird religious cult in The Time of Blood and Death. The print version of the book has a bonus story not in the eBook version.

Beside Still Waters

A book of sermons and brief reflections on Christian Scripture, by Rev Iris Carden. There is no specific order to the items in the book, they are intended to each be a "surprise" in that they are not related to the items around them. It is hoped that in each, the reader will find something new or special, or unexpected, a message from God. Rev Iris Carden has a Master's Degree in Theology and more than 10 years of experience as a Christian minister

Cat-it-orial

Mr Bumpy is such a talented cat, he even runs his own website: mrbumpycat.com. He is a blogger, and a very bad cat. His favourite hobby is world domination. His next hobby is harassing the humans and other animals he shares a home with. In this book, you can see the world through the eyes of a megalomanicat, and some of the other animals who share his home.

Group Meeting

(Novella) In a facility for people recovering from mental illness: a group of people with sinister pasts starts to be visited by a girl who doesn't exist.

Karlee

Failing author Terry Dixon is made an offer that seems unbelievable. He can have all of his problems solved, have everything he has ever wanted, for a price. The price is something that "will not be too difficult" for him to pay - but it is not specified what it actually will be. With bills mounting up and a deadline looming, Terry agrees to a deal with something he knows nothing about.

About the Author

Iris Carden is a retired Uniting Church minister and former journalist. Lupus forced her to stop working. On good days she writes.

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Bloggercat at Work

Mr Bumpy on the computer.

Lunch Break

It's not that hard - open fridge, get cat food.

About Mr Bumpy

My name's Mr Bumpy. I spend a lot of time on the computer. (The humans I allow to live with me sometimes complain about me being on the computer - but they're mere humans, what do they know?)

My greatest achievements to date are: throwing Miss C's mobile phone out the window during the night; explaining to the dog who is boss; putting a mouse in Mum's slipper; bringing a live snake into the house and playing with it under the birdcage; and getting my own cat biscuits out of the bag when the humans are too slow to do as they're told.

I do have some help with my blog here - my "Mum" a human named Iris does some of my typing for me. She's OK as humans go, so you might want to check out her blogs some time. And of course, there's a dog and some rats and budgies, but you're really not interested in them.

You can contact me (or any of the rest of the Mr Bumpy Cat Dot Com team) at: contact@mrbumpycat.com