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"The efforts of the government alone will never be enough. In the end the people must choose and the people must help themselves" ~ JFK; from his famous inauguration speech (What Democrats sounded like before today's neo-Liberals hijacked that party)

That's the thing--I don't want to fix her. Just be with her. Scars, patches and all. I like who she is, intimacy issues included. I don't mind it. I have my faults too--some big ones, really--And I think real love isn't about trying to change a person, but about accepting the good in spite of the bad. That doesn't mean you have to lay down and be a punching bag, not at all, but I think you either love someone as they are--in total, black marks and all--or not at all. I don't think real, romantic love should come with strings attached like that. "Well, I love him...BUUTT..." No.

And I don't think she's using me...She's been there for me when I was sick, taken care of her and attended to me, and she's just been there period. She's been better than any woman I've actually been with. There is affection there, but its restrained somehow. Maybe she's afraid of it. I don't know.

Real romantic love is a relationship between emotional equals that is free and clear of strings. Almost no healthy women will be okay with you hanging out with this friend and sharing that level of intimacy with her (sexual or not). The relationship you are describing is a form of chivalry where the object of devotion is safely out of reach and also unable to reach you on a truly intimate level. That's a way to be but it's not a way to be with anyone else.

She DESPISES being touched in any form (I don't mean sexually). Even a boyfriend holding her hand makes her uncomfortable. She's also not the most emotional, which is the opposite of me. You could even say she borders on cold, a little unempathetic.

That alone should be your cue to get the fuck out. You just stated, right there, that you are polar opposites, especially what you said in the last sentence.

By the way, there is no such thing as being "a little unempathetic". She either gives a shit about you, or she doesn't.

Don't fall for all this shit you'll hear about opposites attracting. When they are this polar apart, the attraction will be short-lived, and probably not conducive to your long-term wellbeing.

Hate to say this, but I actually agree with JB, for once. She is using you. GTFO.

I feel that once a black fella has referred to white foks as "honky paleface devil white-trash cracker redneck Caspers," he's abdicated the right to get upset about the "N" word. But that's just me. -- Jim Goad

That's the thing--I don't want to fix her. Just be with her. Scars, patches and all. I like who she is, intimacy issues included. I don't mind it. I have my faults too--some big ones, really--And I think real love isn't about trying to change a person, but about accepting the good in spite of the bad. That doesn't mean you have to lay down and be a punching bag, not at all, but I think you either love someone as they are--in total, black marks and all--or not at all. I don't think real, romantic love should come with strings attached like that. "Well, I love him...BUUTT..." No.

And I don't think she's using me...She's been there for me when I was sick, taken care of her and attended to me, and she's just been there period. She's been better than any woman I've actually been with. There is affection there, but its restrained somehow. Maybe she's afraid of it. I don't know.

Caught. . . "evil woman" was once my occupation (remember, ex-stripper. You gotta join the "evil woman" union to get anywhere) and the girl you mention is the secretary at the union meetings (I freelance now). Cut. Her. Loose.

~QC

Last edited by CueSi; 04-12-2011 at 06:11 PM.

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. To be your own man is hard business. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." Rudyard Kipling - (1865-1936)