Sunday, January 25, 2009

New Jack Update: A Little...Confused at the Moment

This literally JUST popped into my brain...

It's just weird how it popped into my brain being that my younger brother is really sick and I drove to the "corner store" (I live in Long Island, remember?) to buy Ginger Ale along with a mulititude of other sick children aid products...Maybe, him still being a "child" in my eyes, because I'm aiding in taking care of him (he's 17) is what sparked the thoughts..

I don't want any children, fact.I do though, or at least so I think, want to get married. Recent events from The Significant's "Britney" meltdown make me shake my head "no" almost immediately...

I'm dating someone older, who still doesn't have their life together as yet..not in the least. Not educationally, mentally, and especially financially. The possible thought of marrying into such a situation, especially seeing that the financial has not advanced would be ludicrous. I am however, noticing the trend....

Everyone that gravitates to me, almost gravitates to me maybe because of what I have, and my level of financial independence so they love that they'll never have to "pay my way". I've been involved with a lot of "bums" to put it nicely. Dudes who never have money, dudes with no education...dudes still living with Ma Dukes when they most certainly shouldn't be. To top that off things like shared bank accounts, etc. that I see my parents (married 24 years) have and little things of that nature that with trust of course have only aided in the success of their marriage I see no men of the "new millenium" engaging in any sorts of activity. It's always "Nah, I'm good...shorty can have her account and I'll have mine", "I don't need no golddiggin bitch in my money son..fall back.." etc.

I know what I'm willing and not willing to tolerate..especially with a relationship/marriage situation.

But the question is, with all the "bums" that seem to always fall into my lap...that I KNOW I wouldn't marry for practical reasons but if marrying for love solely, I would in a heartbeat, am I wasting my time dating?If no one is on my level...am I wasting The Significant's time as well as the time of a couple other "boys"?I'm severely lacking the confidence that I'm going to ever meet anyone that's going to be..on my level in agreement with marriage and all those things..I love The Significant, but he's so not where he needs to be with his life..and at the moment, I'm not sure when the projected time is that he will be where he should be.