Thursday, June 12, 2014

Deep Thoughts: Dog Walking and Bin Men

So…I clearly do some of my best ruminating while I’m walking
Indy so be prepared for some greatness.

OK…maybe that’s a stretch. Or simply an out-right lie.

I can’t really promise anything other than a bunch of words
strung together.

This morning began as any other: I left the house at 5:45 in
an effort to get $50 in free groceries at the new Fresh Thyme Market which is
celebrating its grand opening today.

So maybe that’s not like any other day.

As I pulled into the PACKED parking lot at 6 (yes, that’s in
the AM), my phone began ringing. It was my friend CB (who was the mastermind behind this whole idea), calling to tell me
that all the numbers (there were 250
numbered tickets for the first 250 people in line to each claim $50 in free
groceries) were already gone. The line had wrapped around the building. And
then some.

Bummer.

But, because of this, I was back home by 6:15 and by 6:20, I
was walking Indy. Which I am certain he very-much appreciated.

He’s trying to watch his girlish figure.

I don’t know what that means because

a) he’s a boy…technically a eunuch, but potato, potahtoe…and

b) he’s a dog…so yeah…not really a “figure” to watch.

My apologies…these are the things that pop into my head and
I feel compelled to share.

So…I was out walking the dog and he, as he (usually) does, made a deposit in
someone’s yard (rarely is it one of the
various empty lots nearby).

And being the conscientious dog-owner I am, I bring little “poo-bags”
with me.

Much to my boys chagrin, this can be anything from a grocery
bag, a bread bag, a tortilla bag, or a newspaper bag (you know what I mean, right? The bags the newspaper is delivered in if
the weather appears somewhat dismal and wet. Or at least should be put in…sometimes
it is not and you have to spread the newspaper all over the house trying to get
it to dry just so you can thoroughly check
out all the ads and clip the coupons.)

The PBA thinks is odd that I would save all those bags, but
I ask why pay for something you can get for free?

Sometimes I think I’m a product of The Great Depression.

But other times I actually buy (insert look of shock here) the
pack of 60 or 900 or whatever the count is “official poo bags” at the Dollar
Tree…but only the ones with pink bones on them.

I try to emasculate the dog whenever I get the chance,
apparently.

Besides…he’s color blind so he doesn’t even know the
difference between pink and blue or why that would even be emasculating.

But do me a favor and please don’t tell him.

Anyway…this morning (as ALWAYS) I picked up the poo. Twice,
actually. He went twice. And even though it’s lots of fun to carry a dog’s poo
through the neighborhood, I began looking for somewhere to dump it. I mean…throw
it away. There’s not nearly as much construction as there has been, so finding
a construction dumpster isn’t as convenient.

I mean, there is a house nearby that was struck by lightning
a few weeks ago and there’s a large dumpster in that driveway, but it’s really
close to my house…if I’ve carried the poo for most of the walk, what’s a few
more yards, right?

Yes, you’re right…if I happen to pass by it, I chuck that
poo right in the dumpster.

Don’t judge.

And if you’re judging me on that, just wait; you have not
yet begun to judge! (I don’t know what
that means.)

Today was trash day. (Note the smooth transition) As my
British friends might say, “The bin men are coming today.” How very proper and
lovely to say it like that.

Anyway…lots of people had already put out their trash cans.
And it occurred to me that I could sneak those poo bags into someone’s trash
can and no one would ever be the wiser.

You’re judging me, aren’t you? Well, I have to admit, I also
judged myself. Where would I draw the line?

What else would be acceptable to
throw in someone else’s trash can, uninvited and unwanted?

Where would the insanity stop?

Well, I decided throwing dog poo in someone else’s trash can
probably wouldn’t get me in too much trouble…but I still didn’t do it. I am "a straight and narrow kind of gal"...I say this in case you didn't know.

Don't judge.

I did carry it (it being the dog poo, in case you had lost track there) all the way home and put it in our own bin. (Look at me, pretending to be British; if I
begin speaking in a British accent, just go along with it, please. Also, I’d
like you to read the rest of this as though my voice does have a British
accent. Thanks.)

But I did have another deep thought while walking the dog…I
waffled between “where to unload this dog poo” and “the Mint-X trash bag
commercial”.

Anyone out there know which commercial I am referencing?

Here it is for your viewing pleasure…it’s not on Youtube so you’ll actually have
to click on the link…sorry to make you work a bit for it.

Is there such a large problem with rodents destroying trash
bags that we have to market specific bags to avoid it? I suppose for some
people but for the masses, probably not.

Just going out on a limb here. (I’ve certainly just jinxed it and we will now, most certainly, have an
infestation of rodents in our garage…my apologies to Mr. AR.)

Anyway…the commercial makes me giggle (yes, I have the maturity of a 10yo boy) and really just wanted
a reason to share it with you.

Notice my smooth segways…oooo and ahhh appropriately.

On that note, I think I hear the bin men coming down the
street...and me without my bins out! Have a lovely day!

1 comment:

have a wonderful day ...ahh yes picking up after the dog I think I bought those poop bags from the $ store once ; my son doesn't like them and hates the veggie bags too, he complains that the $ store bags are too small ( mind you we have a small dog), and the veggie bags are see through... jeesh talk about whining; so we use any supermarket bag we get . At least he walks the dog...right as far as rodents or pest all I know of are the squirrels and they do enjoy our leftovers and my neighbors too once we caught one munching on corn on the cob in our driveway slouched, belly sticking eating away...it was a sight,!

Random Stuff About Me

I will be fostering (hence the blog name…see what I did there? No, not just a clever name b/c I am a foster care advocate; this technique is called a double-entendre…look at me teaching so much already. Perhaps I under-estimated myself and my educational abilities...) the woman I feel God has meant me to be: a writer, a sharer, a story-teller, a friend, a listener, a prayer-warrior and lots of other hopefully-funny, silly, and crazy things.