WTF – Solar Tsunami Will Strike Earth Tonight, Gays to Blame!

So only the other day myself and my fellow gays were discussing our gay agenda, and lemme tell you, taking over governments, brainwashing children into being homos, and well, destroying the sanctity of marriage, gets boring fast.

However, we are doing so well, we decided to put on a show for planet earth, first of all we thought of using our unlimited resources to put on simultaneous fireworks displays around the globe, but that happens at New Years, then we thought how about the biggest Gay Pride event EVAR!!!,

And then, it dawned on us, lets do something on purely EPIC (I finally got around to using that word! go me!) proportions!

Ladies and gentleman, we give you…

Solar Tsunami 2010!

Wait….what?! You don’t think we are THAT powerful!

Well, I’m not going to sit here and tell you how stupid you are for thinking that, I am going to let the wonderful people at christwire tell you all about it.

God is once again letting his anger with the gay be known, this time by attacking Earth with a scorching solar tsunami that is schedule to take place at approximately 11:25 pm EST.

Gays are now pushing for more marriage rights, worldwide, with their two new hotspots for petitioning goverment for the rights to conduct their sin-soaked acts under the sham of a gay wedding license being the state of Iowa and the country of Chile.

These two offenses to America and our Christian heritage, even in Chile by way of the Monroe Doctrine, are just another drop in the soiled bucket of offenses that gays have poured all over our culture and lifestyle. They have dirtied the moral fabric of humanity with their sugar-plummed fecal sins and now. Due to this, God has grown so frustrated with their sins that he has scheduled a solar tsunami to take place and show his anger.

We were all already warned. Time and time again, we’ve witnessed God show blatant disapproval of gays and they have angered him so much, he’s made a show of his growing wrath with them. Just over the last few months, gays have upset God so much he has:* Doomed California for their Fecal Sins
* Flexed his oceanic power to show his anger toward homosexuals
* Used a giant fireball to warn the Midwest to say no go gays
* Became so angry with Guatemala that he opened a massive sinkhole and cast a furious stormy tempest, only hours after they approved gay marriage
* Brought a fiery wrath to Iceland for approving gays

Even after all of these examples of God showing his power to scare us and make us take heed to his will, gays remain resilient little pests and keeping reveling in their little defiant orgies of sulphur scented sins.

The display will take place tonight, starting at around 11:25 pm by estimates by a bewildered NASA, and will go until God sees fit to decrease the Sun’s electromagneticly furious activity of nuclear flames.

Auroras will manifest in the night sky, a cosmic reminder of how small we are to the will of God. The Bible says no to gay marriage and fornication, yet, we have not made being gay illegal. We allow them to continue to push for ‘rights’ while God patiently waits in heaven above. Now, the gays have brought this warning shot from God upon us.

Cameras on board NASA’s Solar Dynamics Observatory have already recorded massive eruptions and explosions on the Sun’s surface, caused by God. These explosions have hurled mega-tons of plasma — charged gas — straight at Earth. By this point we all know who is shooting that plasma right at us, and who is responsible for Him doing so.

The event is called a coronal mass ejection and hopefully the gays know that when they use their ejectioned satan scepters to dally each other’s backsides, they are just setting the stage to be burned in the hot fires of hell for all time where their entire instistines will be shot up with ejected plasma from the Sun and it will sear, burn and torture for all time!

wow. really? just when I think they can’t get any kookier.
you wacky gays and your solar tsunamis. can’t believe you’d bring down gods wrath just for a free toaster and a wedding ring. How selfish. now I have to listen to republicans and tea baggers whine about the solar Apocalypse. Thanks guys.