Apparently there is a new chat feature available. Where a staff member from WordPress.com can create a chat window and start dialog. On Thursday this chat function appeared as I was perusing WordPress for brain science theory (reading material). Here is the conversation that ensued.

It all started with a question mark.

Below is the transcript from your recent chat with WordPress.com

jfreshly

?

Jason – WordPress.com

Hi there!

Jason – WordPress.com

How can I help?

jfreshly

It’s too late for that.

jfreshly

How did this chat pop up?

Jason – WordPress.com

The chat is based on operator availability. We are trying to expand our availability to cover more users in more timezones.

jfreshly

Ohh. Well that’s cool.

Jason – WordPress.com

Thanks!

jfreshly

Can I chat with other bloggers?

jfreshly

Or is this more of a help icon.

Jason – WordPress.com

Just for support for now.

Jason – WordPress.com

You can add a chat widget to your site if you would like.

jfreshly

Cool. Ill have to look into that.

Jason – WordPress.com

Anything else I can help you with?

jfreshly

Have any cute Asians lying around that like long hugs and funny cat Gifs?

They don’t check the bag. They actually never check the bag. Even if they suspect you may be telling them an inaccurate pastry count they don’t want the hassle. The reason I’d like to believe they don’t want the hassle is because they know the pastries are overpriced in the first place.

Rewind 5 minutes.

There I am at the Hunt Valley Wegmans with a stuffed bag of pastries.

The thing is, I’ve been staking out each checkout line to see which would be most suitable for this con.

5’7″ female Asian American adorable.

She fits the criteria perfectly.

For starters, if she makes a fuss I have the ability to flirt with her and smooth things over. Secondly, I’m contemplating the idea of asking for her digits.

The thing is I’ve been incrementally stealing pastries from this joint for about 4 weeks now.

They are delicious, expensive, and never on sale.

Being a resourceful Jew, I created a pastry price algorithm based on the principle of

The reason I chose this algorithm is because I infinitely love these pastries. Soooo good.

They are 1 dollar a piece which really does not make sense. Due to the variable size and ingredients of each pastry how can they all possibly cost 1 dollar each. At most they should be .75 per and that’s in a high dividend yield pastry market. Wegmans has decided not to apply the pastry variance theory whatsoever and deep down that really bothers me.

Pastry Variance Theory: Due to ingredients, size, and deliciousness of said item it will be priced accordingly.

THEY ARE ALL 1 dollar a piece how is that possible. It’s not mathematically speaking. Just another example of grocer negligence.

So, with that being said, I typically will take 7 pastries and tell them I have 4.

4 is a really good number. I think 4 dollars for pastries is more then fair. I’m on a budget after all.

On a side note I no longer eat pastries. Apparently they are not healthy (Insert bunny ears emoticon here).