Wisconsin Plotting to Attack Illinois to Bring Back Democratic Senators

Scott Walker’s Republican Party is plotting to attack the state of Illinois in a bid to return the 14 Wisconsin Senate Democrats to Madison.

“If I can’t send my troopers over the state line to arrest them,” said Mr. Walker, “I will extend our state line.”

Mr. Walker believes there would be a lot of national support for such an attack. “Illinois is not only harboring pro-Union domestic obstructoterrorists, it also raised taxes recently, which shows it is at the forefront of a vast left-wing anti-bankofamerican conspiracy.”

Mr. Walker went on to say that he has been in talks with other States, particularly Indiana, in an attempt to form a Coalition of the Willing. “Illinois is a rogue state,” said Mr. Walker “like Afghanistan or Iraq, and they must be shown that if you harbor and support domestic obstructoterrorists, you are an obstructoterrorist.”

It is not clear yet who he plans on using for an army, since the police are all supporting the protests and the National Guard is overseas.