...That is powerfully, expressively, evocatively sad. Wonderful in a depressing, want-to-give-you-a-hug kind of way. I love the paradoxes in the last stanza ("to live again,/ to die again") and the idea of the deep sadness within the soul as cold and death. Beautiful.

"Admist the ashes of my soul, I struggle in vain to find a coal, of Purpose...for my life's sake." These lines are striking. Have you thought of concentrating on "short poems?" I would take these lines and create something even new from this. From this poem, create a child poem. These are standout lines. In "Keat's line." Only 17? Can't be, these really speak from a mature heart.

You're getting really good at imagery. I like this poem. It's really beautiful.

E A Tetje chapter 1 . 5/6/2004

Good! I like this. Whne I said that 'Disgust' rhymed too much I belive I was feeling like you seemed to be holding the rhyme scheme too tightly and so were throw words in that didn't realy fit just to make it flow other than that I liked it and I like this one too. Keep on writing!

One word: incredible.
The imagery and diction in this piece were absolutely sublime. It makes me feel as if I have been grabbed by the collar and pulled into this poem. I feel like this piece of fantastic work has delved deep into the realms of human emotions and supernatural insight. A job VERY well done. My mere mortal words cannot express how marvelously you write. Have you ever considered being published? I do not say that in jest, but I am deathly sincere. I cannot fathom how you can take words and turn them into a masterpiece. You are going on my favourites list.
Chloe Carpenter
(by the way, if you could give me any criticism on my work, that would be great...)