Friday, November 30, 2012

In conclusion, Shaq is a stupid, egocentric, attention-seeking whore of an ex-NBA player that has no place on a NBA analyst panel and should F***ing grow up. You are not funny, the Ph.D you have is a joke, you have no respect for others (particularly to Charles Barkley, who did not once get into your face over conversations) and if you ever find yourself having to repeat your own punchlines to get a laugh (something you do on every single broadcast), just know that you are making a fool out of yourself. Someone please get that walking P.O.S. off TV. You were a great player and should just leave it at that, even Kenny thinks you are insane.

Heat: They didn't get embarrassed on their home floor by a San Antonio Spurs B team.

Spurs: This is still a Spurs basketball team and can definitely hold their own. Their flawless, unselfish ball movement, although sometimes unnecessary wreaked havoc among the Miami defense. They read the Heat infamous ball handler trap quick and rewarded the screen slipping Tiago Splitter. The Brazilian's height did cause match up problems for the opponent bigs, unfortunately he did not get the ball as much as he would have liked.

Everyone on this team can shoot, especially when they are wide open. All it took was some dribble penetration to draw attention for kick outs to patient shooters and the buckets naturally fell. The 10 three pointers they had in this game kept it interesting, but at the end of the day, they are just a bunch of good back up players.

The Bad

Heat: This team has yet to find their title earning defense, they look sluggish, and are always a step slower. Losing Shane Battier is a huge hit, his versatility on this end of the floor covers up a lot of holes the Miami exposes in their risky approaches. Wrinkle head's importance is irreplaceable, even more so when they have to play the defensively challenged Rashard Lewis in his place.

Dwyane Wade has not been the same player ever since he switched shoe brands, he looks old and beaten up. I am sure he will find himself somewhere in the season, but as of right now, he is a liability on defense, (just a bystander in transition) and has not proven to be a reliable offense tool.

Is it just me or are you sick of LeBron James just not going 100 percent until his team is down in the fourth quarter. This was a game that should have ended early and quickly. I understand that he wants do more than just score for his team. However if your team is on the brink of losing to second unit team, just because you want to pass the ball when you have the ability to get to the basket at will and draw 2 million fouls, you should really reconsider your game. There are times when a Superstar has to take a game over by himself. We saw already saw that in you, in the game 6 of that Boston series and the 32 point second half against the Houston Rockets. Now, we want you to hone that beast, and unleash it in the right circumstances. For God's sake, you had the chubby Boris Diaw, although a solid defender, is too slow-footed to guard you. You could have gotten right past him even if you go at half speed.

Spurs: No Tim Duncan, Tony Parker, Manu Ginobili or Danny Green. They lost and might get an undeserving punishment from David Stern, because no one out trolls the commissioner.

Oh, and Gary Neal might just be one of the worst defenders ever, he makes a 37 year old Ray Allen look like a good off the dribble, attack the basket type of player, something I can't type without giggling like one of those kids on Barney.

Gregg "The Troll Master" Popovich: Coach Pop was having a trolling spree today, first he sent Tim Duncan, Tony Parker, Manu Ginobili and Danny Green home for some rest. Then he trolled the media and Charles Barkley. He almost got away with trolling David Stern too, but his second unit failed this one on the road, and he could possibly face an undeserving severe punishment. Oh yea, he also joked with LeBron too.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Clippers: They got to play at their ideal pace, quick and against unsettled defense. They had 22 fast break points and 54 points in the paint. Chris Paul was allowed to dissect the floor with ease against the Minnesota point guards. He could have taken way more shots, but that is not his game, he uses his vision to create for others.

DeAndre Jordan anchored the spectacular interior defense, his length and shot blocking neutralized the opponent bigs. The Clippers have steadily improved their defense, helping just enough in the paint while keeping their assignment close to bother their shot.

Wolves: They grabbed 52 rebounds (21 Offensive, 10 more than the Clips) to keep themselves in the game. Alexey Shved was huge off the bench, his 17 points proves that he is more than suitable to start over the inconsistent Malcolm Lee, who is not the defensive stopper Adelman thinks he is. The Wolves defense is good enough to get stops, it is the offense that needs help. Besides, Shved's length alone is enough to bother most guards. At least Adelman stopped the J.J. Barea and Luke Ridnour combo.

The Bad

Clippers: The Clippers rarely get out rebounded by such a large margin, needs to box out and stop the guards from creeping in to steal the rebound.Wolves: Obviously injuries, Andrei Kirklenko would definitely change the results of this game. Without AK, the Wolves are forced to put Pekovic out in the high post. His limited passing ability and inability to knock down the 15 footer does not do anything productive for the Wovles. Back door cuts were Minnesota's bread and butter when AK is on the floor because he can space it so well. Kevin Love is still not in game shape or perfect health. He only contributed by getting to the line 8 times and has Ronny Turiaf's love of jumping at every single pump fake to thank for. I also thought he was too PASSive, he looked to pass too often and usually holds on to the ball long enough for a double team to come, resulting in an ugly possession. To sum it up, 20 turnovers and 38 points in the paint is not a formula for success against a team that thrives in transition.

Attention: This is what happens when your favorite team that has gone under a 12 game losing streak to start the season and finally wins one at home.

“I was just so excited about the first win of the season that I leaned
over too far,” said the fan, who declined to be named out of
embarrassment. “I didn’t realize [Okafor] was too far away.”

“He was falling over and I saw the guy,” Okafor said of the incident.
“He was smiling the whole time. Before I got there he had stopped
himself. I just helped put him back into the stands.”

“He was over [the railing] but he had a huge smile on his face. He had
absolutely no awareness of the danger he was in,” Okafor said with a
laugh. “That’s a first for me. I haven’t seen that before.”

Imagine if the Washington Wizards was extending a win streak instead, he would have done triple bye bye birdie off his seats and planted his head right on the stadium floor. But that was not the case, he is save and alive, and has Emerka Okafor to thank for. Too bad, he will forever be remembered as the way-too-excited guy that almost killed himself in a Wizards game.

Thunder: They shot 54% from the field, everything fell into and through the hoop. Serge Ibaka's jump shot has noticeably improved, he went 11 of 13 for 23 points. Good Russell Westbrook showed up, he was somewhat under control (5 turnovers), his dribble penetration and usage of the screens makes the floor so much bigger for his teammates. The pick and roll tore up the porous Houston defense, Russ was given all the options. Depending the direction of the screener takes (in most cases, it is Serge Ibaka, but this works with Nick Collison too), he will read it and make the right decision. On top of that, Kevin Durant did the best Kevin Durant things, 37 points and got himself to the line.

On defense, they were in sync, their rotations can not be any better. The ball handler trap off the screen forced multiple turnovers. Every James Harden move was read to perfection, and prevented. He basically got blocked every time he tried his luck in the paint.

Rockets: Patrick Patterson (27 points) seems like a guy that can consistently help with the scoring load. He takes good shots and is decent in the low block. Omer Asik finally learned how to how to do a lay up, which will be useful in future. A sudden improvement in his offensive repertoire that goes under scouting reports can surprise a few teams.

The Bad

Thunder: I hate to say none, but they played a perfect game.

Rockets: The non-existent defense and bench play. They are mismatched in every position, Russ shattered Jeremy Lin and Kevin Durant torched any one within his parameter. On offense, they could not execute plays, once they get stuck in the OKC ball handler trap, they have already lost half of the shot clock. As a result, most shots came from isolations. They dribbled more than they passed and barely moved without the ball.

James Harden did try to do a lot on his own, and it obviously didn't work. He needs to get his teammates involved, or nothing will happen. Jeremy Lin is not quite ready to be a play maker, and with Russ draped all over him, his sub-par ball handling forced him to pass early. This team is still too young, they need time to develop and an answer to their identity crisis.

Nets: Defense and they left it on the whole game. Boston could not shoot without a hand in their face or a Net right beside them. The full court press by the second unit killed the Celtics. Barbosa and company didn't even know how to respond. In the other end, their shots were falling, the pick and roll with Deron opened everybody up. Even Jerry Stackhouse went 5 of 6 from the corner three, it helps when no one was ever there to bother him at all.Celtics: The interior defense completely shut down Brook Lopez (9 points). Kevin Garnett, and Jason Collins did not give Brook any breathing space, every time he got the ball, he was immediately bodied up and forced into a tough shot. They held Brooklyn to only 38 points in the paint, no one in a black jersey wanted to go inside.

The Bad

Nets: I didn't particularly like the play that involved Gerald Wallace bringing the ball down. They ran this play a few times, where Deron Williams will be at the baseline, waiting for a off ball screen to come up and get the ball back from Wallace. It usually ends with the defenders on Williams, and a open shot for Gerald, which is not an ideal offensive weapon.

In the second half, they stopped moving the ball, and resorted to iso-ball. Plays were thrown out the window, everyone just stood still and watched Joe Johnson dribble, while Boston creeped closer.

Celtics: Rajon Rondo got ejected from the game (So did Gerald Wallace and Brook Lopez for fighting). Without Rondo to penetrate and space the floor, the Celtics, who were already suffocated by the Brooklyn defense, had even more trouble getting a good shot. Like the Nets, they decided to not run plays and it was just chaotic.

On defense, they over helped inside too often, leaving their opponents open for easy jumpers. They were in way too deep, and had no chance to recover.

Boards: J.J. Hickson of the Portland Blazers got a meaningless 19 rebounds and 15 points in the first win for the Washington Wizards.

Block Party: Serge Ibaka terminated all of the Rockets with his 6 blocks, 9 rebounds, and 23 points (11 of 13 shooting), successfully shutting down the NASA homecoming project.

Rookie Watch: Alexey Shved does not understand pressure, he scored 5 of his 17 points in the last few minutes to keep the Minnesota Timberwolves within a bucket against the Los Angeles Clippers.

Time Machine User: The walking fossil of Jerry Stackhouse is really good at camping in the corner for them open threes. He attempted six of them and five of them fell, add those two deep knee bending free throws, he had 17 points in the victory over the Boston Celtics.

Reunited and your ass got whooped: Just the bros laughing it up, before the public shaming of the Beard. (Via: @YourBigDummy)

No Mercy: Keep your friends close and your enemies even closer. At least close enough to block you.

Miracle: The Washington Wizards got their first win, you guys. Let's celebrate the humiliation of the Portland Trail Blazers.

Pointless Fact: Damian Lillard is the first NBA player to score at least 12 points in each of his first 15 games since Mutombo in 91.(Via: @TrailBlazersPR)

Brawl: Kris Humphries and Rajon Rondo got a little bit friendly.

Combo Breaker: As a result, Rondo's 37 games with double digit assist streak comes to an end.

Skates: It has not been Paul Pierces week, he keeps falling (literally) for those trick tricks.

Revival: Derek Fisher just got signed by the Dallas Mavericks, he sure loves to sign with Laker rivals.

Lights Out: Ben Gordon went for 20 of his total 26 points in the 4th quarter in the Charlotte Bobcat loss to the Atlanta Hawks. He was 7 for 10 from the three.

Helping Hand: Ronny Turiaf is the nice kid that is always there to help his fat friends. (Via:@johnschuhmann)

Lip Reading: DeAndre Jordan is not very family friendly, sucks for parents that have to think of something creative so children won't go to each other houses and re-enact the play on Nerf hoops.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Not a great NBA schedule yesterday, 6 games, none were too pretty. The Beard stood above all, James Harden had 24 points, 6 rebounds, 12 assists, 3 steals and a block in the win over the Toronto Raptors.

Boards: Kevin Love only get buckets and boards. 23 points and 24 rebounds in the victory over the Sacramento Kings.

Shout out: To Anderson Varejao, 20 points and 18 rebounds in the loss to the Phoenix Suns. This game marked his sixth 15+ rebound streak.

Time Machine User: Kobe got the flu, and if you know anything, it is that the Mamba plays better impaired in some kind of way. He carried the entire Lakers offense with his 40 points (12 of 28 shooting), 10 rebounds, 3 assists, 3 steals and a ugly triple double notching 10 turnovers in the loss to the Indiana Pacers.

Real Refs don't mess around: Joey Crawford is the most entertaining official in the NBA, I mean who else high steps for a blocking foul. Cool Deion Sanders impression, Gramps.

Whoops: Omer Asik forgot his compass, and couldn't figure out which basket is at which cardinal direction.

Surprise: Nick Young doesn't always pass, but when he does, it is always Swaggy P approved.

Highlight of the Night: Terrence Ross likes to prove that the Toronto Raptors are never short of jumpers. From Vince Cater to Tracy McGrady to Jamario Moon (He is back to being a Globetrotter right?) to DeMar DeRozan, Canada is pretty great at picking athletic swing mans that never win.

Game Winner: I think George Hill is leading the league in game winners made in this season.

"When I went up against Blake Griffin
(to try to dunk the ball), I landed on it. I came down and braced my
fall with the right wrist, and I jammed it," Williams said after the
Nets defeated the rival New York Knicks 96-89 in overtime Monday night at Barclays Center.

That certainly does not help with the embarrassment, but I guess karma came through. Deron Williams went for 16 points and 14 assists against the New York Knicks last night, while Blake Griffin had a career low 4 points (1 of 9 from the field) in the loss to the New Orleans Hornets.

At least Blake Griffin still has his luscious red curls, to what ever that thing Deron has on top of his head that for some reason doesn't look like real hair.

Yep, there are definitely similarities between Jeremy Lin and Ron Jeremy, one is a NBA point guard that became the story of the league for 2 weeks and the other is a famous adult film actor, it is like they are the same person. Honest mistake.

And way to go Jeremy Lin, enforcing every single Asian stereotype possible.

Note: To the people leaving Rush Hour jokes on the video, please stop, it is not funny and they can never compare to that broken English and high pitch voice.

Bucks: The Milwaukee bench combined for a total of 56 points. Despite the early season disappointment, Ersan Ilyasova led the second unit with 18 points. The group was completely unstoppable in the fourth quarter, they outscored the Chicago starters 30 to 12 for the comeback victory. On the other end, they contested every single shot, the Bulls even helped them by turning the ball over and giving them countless second chance opportunities.

Bulls: Richard Hamilton scored a season high 30 points and abused Monta Ellis with his size. Defensively, Chicago was great in the first 3 quarters, but the ambush from the Milwaukee bench took it apart.

The Bad:

Bucks: The starting back court of Monta Ellis and Brandon Jennings could not hit a shot, they were smuggled by the Bulls defense, denied of any opportunity for easy buckets. The half court execution was terrible through out the game, transition and second chance points kept this team in it. Scott Skiles did not put in any effort to make defensive adjustments on Richard Hamiltion. He kept Monta on him and refused to offer any help, luckily his bench bailed him out.

Bulls: They blew a 27 point lead. Tom Thibodeau probably tore up his larynx and destroyed the entire Bulls team emotionally. The team basically chilled out and allowed the Bucks to take control. The defense collapsed, the offense dried up like water in the Sahara and the energy disappeared. Chiacgo was down 1 with 10 seconds to go, Beno Udrih just missed two free throws for the 3 point lead and guess what? Milwaukee got the ball back. No matter, because Mike Dunleavy threw it away in the next 3 seconds, but the Bulls come out of the timeout with a pathetic play, a contested 15 footer from Rip that bounced off to the left.

Game Over.

R.I.P. to the Bench Mob.

Oh, and I will do the New York Knicks and Brooklyn Nets game later, because Canada decidedly to not show this game on tv and league pass blacked it out. The best thing was that the Canada actually aired curling from last year instead, and here I thought the absence of hockey would mean more NBA. Jokes on me.

Brooklyn won the first of many battles of New York, but Carmelo Anthony is still a beast, 35 points and 13 rebounds at the Barclays Center with Jay Z and Beyonce watching. (Pointless Fact: The Nets are undefeated when they are watching court side.)

Boards: Anderson Varejao kept his magnets on his hands for 22 boards (8 Offensive) and 15 points in the loss to the Memphis Grizzlies.

Dishin': Deron Williams was feeling generous, he had 16 points, 6 rebounds and 14 assists, the exact amount the entire New York Knicks team had in the overtime loss.

Block Party: Brook Lopez swatted away 5 New York shots, to go with his 11 rebounds (7 Offensive) and 22 points in the victory.

Rookie Watch: Austin Rivers finally shaking off his rookie slump to help get his New Orleans Hornets a W over the Los Angles Clippers with his 14 points (5 of 9 shooting, 3 of 4 from three), and 6 assists.

Time Machine User: This is a real old dude, it might be a surprise to you that he is still playing and not actually dead. Jerry Stackhouse was huge for the Brooklyn Nets, scoring 14 points (4 of 5 from the three) in just 22 minutes. We live in a world where Kurt Thomas and Jerry Stackhouse are active on their respective teams. I don't know if this is a sign of the apocalypse or improvement in health care. Hopefully for my sake, I mean people in their 20's, the latter is true.

Photoshop fun: The inside the NBA crew rips Charles Barkley with one of their best fat photoshop jokes of the year.

Dumb: J.R. Smith did what real J.R. Smith things. A three point attempt on a breakaway, what else could he have done, actually laying that up for 2 points? Don't be silly. Mike Woodson doesn't agree though.

Devolution: The Charlotte Bobcats only managed to put 24 points on the scoreboard in the first half, and gets demolished by the OKC thunder 114 to 69. To add to that embarrassment, the Thunder becomes the first team in 20 years to be up 40 points at halftime. Michael Jordan won't like that.

Serving Threes: Caron Butler shatters a Los Angeles Clippers franchise record (most 3 pointer made in a single game) with his 9 threes that contributed to his 33 point total in the loss to the New Orleans Hornets.

Sad Blake: Blake Griffin went 1 for 9, finishing with 4 points for his career low.

Don't Look Back: Because Tyson Chandler will come out of no where, grab the ball in the air and dunk it on you regardless of how many people are near you. (Skip to 0:25, first play is not as great.)

Highlight of the Night: The rim reportedly filed a lawsuit against Russell Westbrook for abuse.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Imagine a big chubby 6 ft 9, 289 pound pro basketball player running into you at full speed. I am no physicist, but I am sure it can kill somebody. Fortunately, the man and woman that took the dive were fine. However it has been reported that those two people are now traumatized and will never return to an Orlando Magic game again with first row seats until Glen Davis is traded. This is not necessarily a bad thing, because the Magic are not so fun to watch right now anyways. You would think the Orlando bench would have learn a thing or two from the Phoenix seat warmers, both having to house Shaq, maybe they should take more precautionary procedures.

The guys at Believe the Hype, have just given what everybody wants for Christmas. The total compilation of Robert Sacre cheering for his team. Let me clear this up, the dancing mad man in the video is a Canadian back up center, and no, he is not a reflection of how people dance in Canada. We have way better moves than just furious karate chops, ever heard of the beaver?

Jrue Holiday scored a new career high of 32 points, to go with his 13 assists in the victory over the Phoenix Suns. The last Sixer to ever put up those numbers were none other than Allen Iverson in 2006.

Boards: Ed Davis of the Toronto Raptors came off the bench for 14 rebounds (8 Offenisve) and 15 points in only 22 minutes of play.

Dishin': Rajon Rondo tied John Stockton for the second longest double digit assist streak (37) in NBA history with his 16 assists tonight. He also had 15 points in the overtime win over the Orlando Magic.

Historic Block Party: Tim Duncan's rejection of 3 Toronto Raptors shots, gave him, his 2,500th block. The 9th most in NBA history.

Shout out: To Byron Mullens of the Charlotte Bobcats, the 7 footer finished with 27 points (9 of 15 shooting, 5 of 11 from three), 8 rebounds, 2 assists and 2 blocks in the overtime win over the Washington Wizards.

Boards: I don't know if this is actually real, but Carlos Boozer grabbed 19 rebounds (8 Offensive) to go with his 22 points for the victory over the Milwaukee Bucks. Someone please confirm this.

Dishin': Jrue Holiday handed out 13 assists in a bad shooting night, 3 of 11 for 6 points in the overtime loss to the Oklahoma City Thunder.

Rookie Watch: Harrison Barnes did more than just embarrass Nikola Pekovic on nation television (You will see what I mean), he also had 10 points (4 of 7 shooting) and 11 rebounds in the win over the Minnesota Timberwolves.

Time Machine User: Kobe Bryant did get 19 points (6 of 11 shooting), and 5 assists in the blowout win over the Dallas Mavericks, but the honor goes to Ray Allen. 5 rebounds and 17 points, 3 of which placed the Miami Heat a single point ahead of the Cleveland Cavaliers with 18 seconds left in the game for the victory.

Washington Sadness: The Wizards lost again in overtime. John Wall and Randy Wittman will probably not be back for this franchise.

John Wall is probably wondering why he even dressed up in a suit for this game. (Via:@MikePradaSBN)

This is Randy Wittman's "I am going to be out of a job soon face." (Via: @TasMelas)

Michael Jordan Owned: The victory over the Washington Wizards gives the Charlotte Bobcats their 7th win, tying their win total from last season (66 games) in just 12 games. Thank you Mike Dunlap and Rich Cho.

Wanted List: DeMarcus Cousins dunked on Derrick Favors and will probably get suspended for 5 games for the highlight. (Jokes, but he did get ejected for a minor retaliation bump on Enes Kanter and it made the referees look like they were out to get Cousins thrown out.)

Whoops: You are doing something wrong if Andris Biedrins gives you the look of disappointment, Draymond Green. Do not try to take another man's rebound and then score on your own basket. (Via:@cjzero)

Metta World Threes: MWP knocked down 5 of 7 three point attempts to add to his 19 point total. On most days, those are ill advised shots but Mike D'Antoni don't care. Just don't expect it to keep happening.

Human Ostrich: Chris Bosh scored his 13,000th point today. Congratulations, your neck extends as your total points pile up.Trick Tricks: Kevin Love would rather pass the ball to himself than actually give the ball to Greg Stiemsma on offense.

Highlight of the Night: Breaking News - Harrison Barnes is missing from the Golden State Warriors locker room, his status is uncertain. Update - Nikola Poekovic has brutally ripped the spine off the rookie and is drinking his blood (using the small intestine as a straw) as he yells "You No Dunk on Pekovic, Dunk and You Die."

Saturday, November 24, 2012

I decided to do away with the feed, and start a new series. Where I will break down the good and the bad for both teams in a specific game.

Memphis Grizzlies 106 - Los Angeles Lakers 98

The Good:

Grizzlies: Mike Conley and Marc Gasol tore the Lakers apart, the two man game they played was beautiful and executed to perfection. Marc Gasol is the ideal complimentary big man, on pick and rolls, he can pop out for an easy 15 to 18 footer or roll hard for the lay in. His passing ability benefits Conley, they ran simple give and go plays, where Marc stood at the top of the key and always found the cutting point guard. The defense was active in most stretches, they gambled a lot by over helping on Dwight Howard, which did make the indecisive center to rush his shots. In the fourth quarter, he finally capitalized on the help and found the open shooters (the Lakers got 3 three pointers in a row, which counted for the 3 assists he had in total).

Lakers: Not too much. The team did hit 12 three pointers to keep themselves in the game. Antawn Jamison (16 points) came back to life, giving the bench some needed scoring. Kobe Bryant did Kobe Bryant things in late game, knocked down tough jumpers, got to the free throw line and finished with 30 points.

Besides Dwight Howard's presence that made the Memphis bigs hesitate before making their move, there was absolutely nothing good about the Lakers defense.

The Bad:

Both teams gave up a lot of points on turnovers. Memphis' 17 paved way for 24 points and LA's 18 for 29.

Grizzlies: This game went away from the post too early. Obviously Dwight Howard played in to that equation, but when Zach Randolph had Antawn Jamison in position there is no reason to not get the ball to him. I thought Marc Gasol was too willing to pass early, he should have went to work more.

The gambling on defense might not have been necessary, Grizzlies are a pretty solid individual defensive team, they were fortunate that the Lakers didn't use it to their advantage until the fourth.

Lakers: The Los Angeles Lakers features one of the best front courts in the NBA, yet the team only scored 24 points in the paint, compared to the 40 by their opponents. It amazes me, how this is a problem. They have refused over and over again to go to the post, Dwight (7 points) had only 7 shot attempts in the 39 minutes he played. What is even more amazing was that in one possession, Darius Morris decided against re-posting their star center and instead take Conley on the baseline to put up a miserable attempt. Howard is at fault too, I know he may not be 100 percent recovered from the back injury, but if he settles for one more lay up or short hook, Laker fans better be ready for disappointment. He has to dunk the ball, he can't shoot free throws, so why not get the damn basket. At this point, I am starting to agree with Shaq, which either means I am spiraling towards insanity or you are not playing like you are suppose to.

About Pau Gasol, well this sums it quite nicely:

Like I said earlier, Kobe Bryant did Kobe Bryant things, and it was not exactly a good thing. He shot 7 for 23 from the field, and he basically decided to play hero ball in the fourth. I just don't think he trusts his teammates, he kept jacking the first shot available against Tony Allen's tough defense and complained for fouls on the shots he missed.

So far, the Mike D'Antoni pace offense is not there, not the speed nor the pick and roll game. I am certain I did not see a single successful pick and roll, where the screener finished with the basket, hopefully Steve Nash will fix it (His return have not even been determined, as a matter of fact, he can't even jog yet).

Their defense is incredibly terrible. I don't think the guys standing in the perimeter, in front of their assignment can actually move. It is a good thing they have Dwight Howard though.

Everything Houston Rockets, 72 points in the first half against the New York Knicks and blowing them out 131 to 103 (The Knicks knocked down 17 threes and still got blown out). James Harden remains super efficient, 33 points (7 of 15 shooting, and 16 of 16 on the charity stripe), 9 assists, 4 rebounds, 2 steals and 1 block. His fellow Rocket, sophomore Chandler Parsons scored a new career high, 31 points (13 of 17 shooting, 4 of 7 from three), 5 rebounds, 4 assists, 4 steals and a block.

Dishin': Rajon Rondo is stat whorin' his way to the 36th game with a double digit assist, his 16 assists, 8 rebounds and 6 points helped edge out the Oklahoma City Thunder.

Shout out: To Greivis Vasquez of the New Orleans Hornets, 25 points (10 of 13 shooting) and 14 assists in the overtime loss to the Suns.

Thief: Byron Mullens is a 7 foot center for the Charlotte Bobcats and somehow stole from the Atlanta Hawks 6 times in the loss.

Rookie Watch: Damian Lillard is taking advantage of Anthony Davis's injury to really put himself in front of the ROY race. 28 points (11 of 17 shooting, 4 of 8 from three), and 8 assists in the victory over the Minnesota Timberwolves.

Honorable Rookie Mentions: Dion Waiters had 25 points and 5 assists for the Cleveland Cavaliers. Andre Drummond gets his first appearance on the list, 13 points, and 13 rebounds for the Detroit Pistons win over the Toronto Raptors.

Time Machine User: Paul Pierce showed the young Thunder how the old dudes do things, 27 points (8 of 16 shooting) in the Boston victory.

Reverse: Tyson Chandler who usually does the blocking, did not do the blocking, Daequan Jones did.

Hot Starts: These guys take things very seriously in the first quarter.
Al Horford had 14 of his 26 points and 5 of his 13 rebounds in the quarter. Carmelo Anthony and Chandler Parsons finished it with 18 points each. In the first 9 minutes against the Indiana Pacers, Tony Parker went 7 of 7 for 14 of his total 33 points and 5 of his 10 assists. Andrea Bargnani actually did something for the Raptors, scoring 17 of his 34 going into the second quarter.

Skates: Lance Stephenson did Tony Parker things to Tony Parker. Age must be a thing.

Lovin ain't Winnin: The Minnesota Timberwolves are 0-2 with Kevin Love back in the line up, they will be fine after some time, but Kevin Love is still kind of scared.

NBA.com

Burnin' the Bugs: The Phoenix Suns went on a 39-9 run to comeback from behind to tie the game against the New Orleans Hornets and win it 111-108 in overtime.

Mile High: Andre Miller is the best and Javale McGee too.

Jokes on you: The Charlotte Bobcats put ZaZa and Ivan Johnson on the kiss cam because they can and it is funny. (Via: @andytoddcook)

Friday, November 23, 2012

Kendrick Perkins and Rajon Rondo were the best of bros, after all they were on the same Boston Celtics team that won the Championship in 08'. Three years later, the ugly goatee wearing big man got traded to the Oklahoma City Thunder and the bros had to go on their separate ways with their respective team. Although they dearly miss each other, being part of the Celtics somehow allows you to be able to completely cut out all of your emotions, just ask Kevin Garnett.

They are still cool, but Perk still wants to shut Rondo down and maybe prevent him from continuing his 35 games with double digit assist streak.

Asked if Perkins was going to check Rondo tonight, Brooks smiled and
said: “Absolutely. Perk is begging me to do that. That would be fun. I’m
sure the fans would love to see Perk getting down in his defensive
stance, pressuring the ball. I don’t know how fun that would be for me
watching it.”

I am not too sure it is a very good idea for Scott Brooks to put a 6ft 10 guy on a 6ft 1 point guard that is currently playing out of his mind. After all, Perkins couldn't even guard his position against Marc Gasol, who embarrassed the hell out of him.

(Yes, I am very well aware that the Thunder sometimes switches on the pick and roll, leaving the point guard for Perkins to defend, and it is always hilarious watching him taunt. For future assignments, remember that smacking the floor repeatedly and encouraging a guard to shoot a wide open shot is not really defense.)

Dikembe Mutombo teamed up with Old Spice in hopes to save our world from the inevitable doom foreseen by the Mayans. Don't worry, we are in good hands, the 4 time NBA Defensive player of the year and 3 time NBA Blocks leader is to the rescue. But it is pretty weird his reason to defend us is that we haven't invented self combing hair. It is even more weird because, he doesn't have the hair to comb. On top of that weirdness, in this game you are guided by a talking genius bear named Science. I haven't got past the first level because of my incredible lack of tolerance, and finger mobility, all I know is that in that first level you are trying to stop people from dancing to Gangnam Style, a true cause that we should all stand behind.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

I may or may not have started this petition, but for those of you who keep up with the blog (Thank you), you would know that I hate all of the accessories Dwight Howard wears, from the newly added headband (which he might be wearing because he is a super immature adult that wasn't allowed to wear one in Orlando. And just like a teenager that rebels everything their parents does, he wears it just to say "Ha-ha, in your face, I am wearing a head band and you can't do anything about it because you decided to trade me away for nothing) to the f--king stupid sleeves.

I cannot put it in any other way. So if you believe in this cause, please join us, the 293 supporters to make Laker games a better viewing experience. We only need 207 more people, you help would be much appreciated.

Fourteen basketball games was tough to handle, but I am not complaining. Lots of records broken today and even more surprises.

Kevin Love returned 2 weeks early from the hand injury he suffered from doing knuckle push ups, and did not miss a beat. 34 points (12 of 25 shooting), 14 rebounds and a block in the loss to the Denver Nuggets.

Shout outs: Kevin Durant had 35 points in the overtime win over the Los Angeles Clippers, LeBron with another near triple double, 28 points, 10 rebounds and 8 assists.

Over-performer: Jeremy Pargo stepped up for the Cleveland Cavaliers in place of Kyrie Irving and played a very Kyrie Irving game. 28 points (11-19 shooting), 5 rebounds, 4 assists and a steal in the win over the Philadelphia 76ers.

Board Monster: Anderson Varejoa is back, 19 boards, 7 of which were offensive against the Sixers.

Dishin': Rajon Rondo had 15 assists and 22 points in the loss to the San Antonio Spurs. Good news is that he kept his double digit assist streak to 35 and is 2 away from tying John Stockton's 37, 11 away from Magic Johnson's 46.

Block Party: Roy Hibbert has found his groove against weaker teams, registering his first career triple double with 10 points, 11 rebounds and 11 BLOCKS.

Victimized: Robin Lopez was on the receiving end, getting blocked a brutally 7 times. Maybe the hair is making it hard to see that there are guys in front of him.

Rookie Watch: Damian Lillard back at the top, 24 points (7 of 13 shooting) in the loss to the Phoenix Suns.

Honorable Mentions: John Henson came out of no where with 17 points (7-12 shooting), and 18 rebounds (8 offensive) for the Milwaukee Bucks in the overtime loss to the Miami Heat.

Jonas Valanciunas got 16 points (8 of 11 shooting) and 10 rebounds in the loss to the Charlotte Bobcats.

Time Machine User: More Kobe Bryant, 38 points (11 of 20 shooting), but he had 7 turnovers in the loss to the Sacramento Kings.

Franchise Records: Udonis Haslem surpassed Alonzo Mourning as the Miami Heat's franchise leader in rebounding. He also becomes the first undrafted player to lead a franchise in rebounding.

Two records broken for the Indiana Pacers today. Paul George scoring a new career high 37 points, 27 of which were from 9 three pointers, beating the three points made record set by Reggie Miller (8) by one.

Roy Hibbert's 11 blocked shots set a new record as well.

Losers: The Washington Wizards lost again, they are now 0-10 thanks to the game winning three pointer from Kyle Korver. Nene isn't too happy that he came back for another loss.

When Josh Smith got his sixth foul, and realized that he might lose to the Wizards, he couldn't help but get a little watery-eyed.

Instead we got a Josh happy face, waving off a late game winning basket by the Wizards.

Flop Fining: Of course it is Reggie Evans that is the first to
be fined by the NBA, I wouldn't have guessed any one else. There goes
5,000 smackers.

Poor Pistons: The Orlando Magic held the Detroit Pistons to only 8 points in the third quarter, greatest battle in the East.

Unhappy Birthday: Larry Sanders of the Milwaukee Bucks turned 24
today and the referees gave him an ejection for a present in 6 minutes
of play, they are too kind.

No Second Chances: The Boston Celtics did not get a single
offensive rebound until the 1:21 mark in the 4th Quarter. Brandon
Bass's tip in prevented a record that the Celtics would not want on
their glorious resume.

Senior Citizen Awards: We got former teammates
going at each other, Vince Carter scored 25 points off the bench in only
23 minutes. Jason Kidd had 17 points, 6 rebounds, 5 assists and 5
steals in the loss for the Knicks, he is still really good.
Jermaine O'neal is still playing basketball, he scored 17
points and grabbed 5 boards off the bench in the blowout victory over
the Portland Trail Blazers, who are obviously doing something wrong to
allow a 7,000 year old score double digits on you.

Too much fun: This young Atlanta Hawks might be enjoying his time at the game a little too much. (Via: SB Nation)

The best part is that he is actually Al Horford's little brother, he is
definitely exercising his VIP rights. The kid gave the a pretty suitable
reaction, a little something Ice Cube and Chris Tucker knows about.

Highlight of the Night: Samuel Dalembert got eyes in the back of his head, or maybe he saw Monta Ellis cutting, I think the eyes are way more sensible.

Game Winner: Dominique Wilkins is the real wizard, he knew that ball was going in and called it.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Yea, that dude in the middle is Jack Taylor, he doesn't play in the NBA, and probably never will, but he will be remembered as the guy that scored 138 points in a Division III NCAA Basketball game. You read it right, he scored 138 points out of his team's total 179 points. They beat their opponents by a margin of 75 points and Kobe loved everything thing about it.

Bryant: "That's amazing. He must have been wearing the Mambas, man.
Only Mambas have no conscious to shoot the ball like that."

Reporter: If you did that, would people be celebrating you?

Bryant: "Would people be celebrating me if I scored 138 points? You
know how it is, some people would, some people wouldn't. They can all
kiss my a-- as I'm sure he feels the same way. If you score 138 points,
you kind of have a license to tell people to f--- off."

A very Kobe like answer, the plug for his shoe was totally necessary and hilarious. I bet Kobe now wishes he went to college and destroy every trace of that record. Maybe that is what he will do after he retires, although it is completely impossible due to stupid rules, there was a 59 year old college football player.

When Carmelo Anthony, a fellow point-getter heard the news, he didn't give much praise and was actually critical.

"I never heard of nothing like that. That's like a video game," Anthony said, an incredulous look on his face. "How can you shoot 100 times, though?"

He joked that from now on when someone asks if he's taking too many shots, he'll mention "that someone shot it 108 times."

The notion of Carmelo's disgust at someone shooting over a 100 times in a single game is very laughable. Hopefully for the Knicks, he won't play up to that excuse because that wouldn't be too good for the team that has finally found an identity.

Oh man, I am so glad Sheed is back in the league. Without out him, the game just isn't same, the art of trash talk is nearly extinct. At least we don't have to worry about it for now, because we still have the Professor, maybe he can instill some of his skills into his fellow teammates. I am kind of surprised nobody laughed at the old guy on the court just yelling anything he can think of, I can't even stop watching this without cracking up. I guess Doc Rivers never warned his son about Sheed, you can never miss the first free throw from a foul by the man with a hole in the middle of his hair, otherwise these amazing moments in the NBA happens, and I, thank you.

Time Machine User: Which is from now on AKA Kobe Bryant watch. The Mamba finished with 25 points (8 of 15 shooting), 5 assists, and pairs of clutch free throws to seal the victory.

Defense: Andray Blatche is not very good at it, but he found a creative way to bother the shooter. (Via: @talkhoops)

An Actual Block Party: Dwight Howard sends the shot of the man he was suppose to play with into the first row and dances to celebrate.

Disrespect: Metta World Peace knocks down a three and rubs the head coach of the Brooklyn Nets, Avery Johnson's head on the way back to defense. If you did that to Chris Paul, MWP would have been left with two broken arms. (Via: @cjzero)

Highlight of the Night: Just Nick Young hitting a ridiculously difficult shot. We all know he would still take the exact same shot regardless of the shot clock situation. Not a bad day for the gunner, as he scored 32 points on the Toronto Raptors.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Stephen Curry is starting to heat up in late November, scoring 31 points, grabbing 6 rebounds, dishing out 9 assists, and stole from his opponents 2 times in the overtime victory over the Dallas Mavericks.

Board Monster: David Lee grabbed 19 boards to help Curry beat the Mavericks.

Butter Fingers: E'Twaun Moore lost the basketball 7 times to the Atlanta Hawks in the loss for the ailing Orlando Magic.

Rookie Watch: Harrison Barnes went for 20 points and 12 rebounds against the Dallas Mavericks.

Time Machine User: Tim Duncan continuing to put up good numbers, 20 points, 14 rebounds and 2 blocks in the loss to the Los Angeles Clippers. His fellow old dudes from the same team weren't of much help today.

Winless in Washington: The Wizards are now 0-9 and you can tell by John Wall's face that this season isn't going to be too fun. (Via: @cjzero)

The Washington Cure: Roy Hibbert finally has his first breakout game, 20 points (8 of 10 shooting), 12 rebounds and 4 blocks in the win over the Wizards. David West had fun in D.C. too, dropping 30 points, to go with his 8 rebounds and 4 blocks.

Flop Alerts: The Clippers were at it today, there were some obvious flops by the stars of the team, we will see if the NBA punishes them, because so far, it seems like they are babied.

Orlando Tragic: The Magic only managed to score 49 points in three quarters of play, must have been a pretty one down at the highlight factory.

3 Point Streak: Danny Green has hit a three in 29 straight games which is the longest in NBA History.
(Via: JMcDonald_SAEN)

The Denver Nuggets edged out the Memphis Grizzlies for a 97 to 92 victory that snapped Memphis's 8 game winning streak. The Grizzlies that lived in the paint and grabbed every single rebound just got outworked by the Nuggets. They gave up 50 points in the paint and allowed Denver to grab 47 boards, 21 of which were offensive. Where as Memphis only had 12 offensive rebounds of their total 33.

The Nuggets defense held the Grizzlies starting front court to only 28 points. Zach Randolph (12 points (6 of 15 shooting) and 13 rebounds) didn't even get to the free throw line once and his partner, Marc Gasol (16 points, 6 rebounds and 5 assists) was not given enough touches (only 7 shots attempted).

Despite the early season struggles, Danilo Gallinari finally found his shooting stroke today, leading his team with a game high 26 points and 5 rebounds. Javale McGee added 15 points and 8 rebounds off the bench. Denver's second unit combined for 34 points, outscoring the opposing bench by 11.

Down in the first half, the Grizzlies fought back with a 11-2 run that re-inserted themselves back into the game. However, in the final minutes of play, they suffered a drought, and allowed the Nuggets to end the game on a 8-0 run. Memphis had an opportunity to take the lead in less than a minute to play. In a 1 point deficit, Rudy Gay was forced into a bad pass by Andre Iguodala. The costly turnover turned into a game sealing three pointer on the other end by Gallinari.

Offensive End:

Memphis failed to consistently post up their big guys, if they don't get 20 points from at least one big, they are unlikely to win. The usual open shot from a kick out in the post just didn't fall. Their bench have finally returned to Earth, and the spectacular three point shooting in the 8 game winning streak crumbled. They did score 29 points on the Nuggets' 17 turnovers.

Denver survived off the charity stripe, hitting 20 of their 28 attempts. Gallo was aggressive to the basket and earned 10 points off the line. The offensive rebounding led to quite a bit of points. When this team pushes the tempo, they are at their best. In the half court, only Andre Miller can find something, Ty Lawson could not help his team on offense in any way.

Kenneth Faried's overall activity on both ends on the floor is amazing, he never stops moving, has great ball awareness and is the only person that can go toe to toe with Zach Randolph in rebounds.

Defensive End:

The Grizzlies transition defense was awful, they allowed easy layups and scrambled to find their defender. Although Ty Lawson did not do much damage, he got to weave inside paint without any pressure. The lack of boxing out is very unlike this Grizzlies team, 21 offensive rebounds for the Nuggets is just unacceptable.

The Nuggets did a great job of collapsing on the Memphis front court, if it wasn't for the terrible perimeter shooting from the Grizzlies, they might not have pulled out with the victory. Kosta Koufos is a solid post defender, and Javale McGee was there to help.

George Karl tinkered with his line-ups during the game, defensively McGee and Koufos was the best. It was weird when he inserted his small line up that included neither of the above players, but he realized it early and made the substitution.

Monday, November 19, 2012

That picture was taken 4 months ago, before the New York Knicks swept up the rest of the NBA, going undefeated for 7 straight games. Last year, Raymond Felton came in to the shortened lockout season out of shape for the Portland Trail Blazers. He even admitted he relaxed because he didn't think there would be a season. It was totally unprofessional, he became somewhat of a internet joke and was hated by every Blazer fan. It also really bothers me that his job was to ONLY stay in game shape, instead he ballooned up over the summer, and stuffed a few too many cupcakes in his face.

In a recent interview with the New York Post, Raymond FAT-ton explained how he got back in game shape in 4 months.

I’m probably in the best shape I’ve been in since college, since the
first year I got into the NBA. I feel like I’m back to 21 years old starting
off with the Charlotte Bobcats.

This is what he looked like as a Bobcat. Yea, pretty hard to believe, he once looked athletic and it went downhill from there.

Doug Benc/Getty Images North America

To follow up:

... Probably getting in the weight room, something I never
did in my life (chuckle). I did a lot of running ... training two times, three
times a day ... and then I had a great chef on board. I didn’t drink nothing
but water for like three months.

Seriously? A professional athlete like yourself, did not work out until your 10th season in the league. Unless you are Kevin Durant, you have no excuses. At least you are playing great in New York right now, but that doesn't mean the fat jokes will stop.