Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Save The Oscars From Themselves

The Academy Awards are in trouble, y’all.This article isn’t the first of its
kind.Tons of entertainment
professionals have weighed-in in recent years about how to fix the waning ratings
of the industry institution. Anyway, here are my suggestions, so, please, someone
take note.

1)Better Sketches featuring serious actors
partaking in cinematic parody hijinks. Essentially, make them more like MTV
Movie Awards of yester year. No, I’m serious. Having the host do a wacky opener
isn’t enough anymore. The opening sequence SHOULD NOT be the highlight of the
entire broadcast, like it has been for several years running.Everyone takes themselves way too seriously at the Oscars, and
that’s why we always find the acceptance speeches that contain a dash of humor (or humiliating unbridled emotion) to be
the most memorable. It’s also why the “What’s On Everyone’s Mind” sketch is
always so successful. So make it funny, and make the A-listers more involved.
People still have Bruce Vilanch’s number right?

2)Music.Music in the movies. What is the deal? The academy needs to really look
at how original scores in movies are being treated. This category has been on a
downward decline for over a decade.More
musical interludes would certainly give it more of a Grammys or Tonys feel,
which are widely more successful broadcasts.

3)Make it visually spectacular.Remember when Hugh Jackman hosted the 81st
AA’s back in 2009? Remember how visually stunning the theater was? That was
actually a good year; had a great memorial, great music, great opening. Point
is, treat the theater like you’d treat a starlet’s dress, and people will tune
in just to see it.

4)Relevant hosts that are family friendly and
aren’t obnoxious. Hosting is a rough gig, and it doesn’t seem to be that
rewarding. I don’t understand why we turn the host into a bunching bag. No one
wants to do it. In fact, I remember an opener that featured the fact that no
one worth half a damn wanted to do it. I think that was the first year Jon
Stewart hosted.But behold, he only did
it twice and then headed for the hills!! Ellen herself only did it once. The
person(s) just needs to be able to deliver a comedic line; they don’t even need
to be that famous! Here’s a list of my recommendations: