Tuesday, April 4, 2017

[Review] CHIPS

CHIPS opens with the tongue-in-cheek disclaimer: "The California Highway Patrol does not endorse this film. At all." And neither do I.

Dax Shepard and Michael Peña are the mismatched, cartoonishly incompetent motorcycle cop duo who stumble into an investigation of internal corruption in this remake based on the 70s-80s TV series of the same name. The whole thing is a raunchy and painfully unfunny chore to endure. The film practically gets down on its knees and begs "Please laugh at me!"

Neither Shepard or Peña display the comic chops or necessary chemistry to make this thing click. The script is stuffed with lazy, outdated, and haphazardly executed humor--like dick and masturbation follies, pervy and shallow dialogue, and jokes about yoga pants that contain the effort of a low-level meme from 2010. This thing is basically the cinematic equivalent of Trump's "locker room talk". The only surprising aspect is that there isn't a Charlie Sheen "Tiger Blood" joke in it somewhere.

As if the humor attempts weren't enough of a crime, the rest consists of dull chase scenes, ridiculously plotted cases, and stakes that are as deflated as all the ballsack references. In fact, there isn't anything in this movie worth giving two CHIPS about. I'm sorry. I'm out of here.