Battling with BPD, A toddler and life. Feel free to follow my not so private online journal !

What is holding me back..?

Yes I could instantly blame my mental illness for not being where I possibly should be in my life right now but I think that is an easy way out.

Don’t get we wrong it does massively affect everything I do and there is no way on earth I could work at the moment which makes me feel useless but I barely get through day by day of just living so working is just out of the question right now.

I suppose fear is something that holds me back but it’s not a fear that people would understand because a lot of people would say it’s silly.

Tbh I don’t even know what I’m being held back from… i suppose living ! Because I don’t class myself as living I class myself as existing but I’m hoping that this will change once I start doing some work with my cpn!

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