Better Relationships Without Your Cell Phone

Today’s “always connected” lifestyle makes it easy to
keep in touch with everyone in your circle of friends. But did you know that it
is damaging relationships at the same time? New research indicates that just
having a cell phone near you is bad for your one-on-one relationships.

Drs. Andrew Przybylski and Netta Weinstein from the
University of Essex studied the effect of modern communication tools can have
on our interpersonal connections.

They crafted a very clever experiment to measure this
impact. The observed interactions between pairs of strangers with various items
placed discreetly in their general area. Some pairs of strangers had a
discussion with a notebook nearby and other pairs had the same discussion with
a cell phone nearby. In every situation, the cell phone or notebook was merely
part of the environment, not placed between them or pointed out at all.

Some of the participants were asked to discuss something trivial, like their opinion on artificial trees. Other pairs were asked to discuss more meaningful topics, like current events.

After each discussion, the participants completed a
detailed questionnaire about their conversation, specifically their feelings
about the quality of the relationship and how close they felt to the other
person after talking.

The researchers tabulated the questionnaires, teasing out
the participants’ feelings about trust, relationship quality and empathy toward
their discussion partner. They found that casual conversations were not
affected by the presence of cell phones. So feel free to discuss plastic plants
or speed bumps while your cell phone is handy.

The research found that discussions about matters of
significance were affected by having a cell phone in the room. There was a
pattern in the results that showed that participants felt that their relations
quality was worse and they felt less trust and empathy in their conversation
partner when a cell phone was present.

The study participants weren’t asked to observe the cell
phone before beginning their conversation. It was up to the pair in the room to
notice the phone, or not. But it appears that having the phone present, yet
inactive, reminded the participants of the circle of friends that they could be
interacting with, if only they weren’t talking with the person, face to face.

So what does that mean for us? Distractions of any sort
are a negative stress on relationships. Do you have an sensitive topic to
discuss with someone important to you? For best results, ditch those phones in
the next room and eliminate the nagging urge to check the latest tweet or
Facebook update, and really connect with that other person!