Cravings resisted: 19. (Only 19?! Just goes to show - mind you, that first week a single short craving could easily turn in to obsessive thoughts that lasted all day...Still, I would not have said I'd quit with less than 20 cravings. They were bigger and more important and difficult at the time than they seem in retrospect, but i'm going to assume I must have not logged lots of cravings in the diary. I'm waffling!)

Savings so far: £102.09

Sometimes I feel like I haven't suffered enough - I did find it ridiculously easy, compared to many people, to get this far. I wish I knew why I suddenly found it so simple, after so many failed attempts. Some of the things I remember about the process are:

1) During the first week, I kept on insisting to myself that smoking just wasn't an option, flat, final, no arguments. And that felt really tough, and part of me (the sulky teenager inside) was utterly bereft that the rest of me could 'deprive' myself like that. The sulky teenager inside felt like she was being punished for no good reason. But she got used to it and now she's pretty glad I put my foot down.

2) Constant self-praise and self-motivation...frequently reminding myself how well I was doing, how much I really wanted to be a non-smoker, how important health is.

3) I realised early on that my self-esteem had taken a massive battering from the many failed quit attempts - as each day passed I liked myself a little bit more, and that helped, a LOT - there was no way I was going back to the creeping self-loathing that had set in around my smoking self.

4) I made a massive effort to face the craves - though I tried to keep myself busy to avoid having too many, when they came, I really tried to feel them, so that when they were over I could be really proud of having faced them down.

5) Finding a supportive community really helped - that's you guys! Not just that it's good to receive cheerleading and advice from others, but also to be able to GIVE support - I think my saying to people 'keep busy', 'drink water', 'stay positive' or whatever gave me more of a push to put my money where my mouth was and follow my own advice...if that makes sense!

Sorry for the ramble - I felt a bit worried this morning that I was getting complacent, so thought I'd better look back a bit. Also I was feeling terribly guilty that I seem to have got off so lightly - after smoking 15-20 a day for the last 20 years or so...I thought it would be much harder.

But, (and I know it's really early days, but this is nonetheless how I feel) I really feel like it's just a question of keeping my guard up now...I'm not remotely tempted to smoke again, hoorah! or is it too soon to say that? :confused: (That's meant to be confused?! I thought he was cross-face!)

Love to all of you, massive thanks for everything, and big positive thoughts to all quitters everywhere! We can DO this!

8 Replies

Thank you my lovely continental friend I gather this forum hasn't been as active recently as it used to be - but it has still helped me enormously. You're doing so well, too, spanisheyes - the penthouse awaits! xx

Not at all in my view - it's all about reaching a state of mind which happens very quickly for some, whilst others can struggle for months. You'll know it when you've got there - and it certainly sounds like you've got there - as you say, the only challenge now is to keep your guard up

That's good to hear Egg I shall continue to be vigilant and enjoy my freedom. And Tracey, thanks - I know that the journey so far would not have been so smooth without the help of this wonderful place x

Failed quits really do hammer self esteem I agree. It's great to feel the opposite of that and be proud we are doing well. A nurse asked me the other day was that it, was I a non smoker now and I could not say anything more than I am taking it one day at a time (because I still fear failure) but I am gonna stick my neck out on here and tell you I am loving being quit and I dont want to give that up x

That's great AnnMarie! So pleased for you I must admit, I'm almost looking forward to seeing my doctor and announcing my quitness! (Almost. I'm due a smear test, *TMI everyone! Now, where did I put those boundaries...) so looking forward to it isn't quite the right phrase...