Silicon Valley Quote

Erlich: I was at The Rosewood for lunch. I mean, it was the lunch hour. I was there, I wasn't eating, the usual. So, I walk over to Andreessen and I say something funny, but he stone-faces me. Gilfoyle: What did you say? Erlich: It doesn't matter. The point is, it was hilarious, but he gave me nothing and neither did his friends. Then I realized why.Gilfoyle: You're not funny? Erlich: No, Gilfoyle, but that is. No, it's that everybody thinks Pied Piper is in this death spiral, so it would be inappropriate to laugh at my hysterical joke. And it hits me. I know something that they don't. I know about the uptick.Richard: The uptick? Erlich: Yes, the uptick! The recent sudden surge in users.Jared: (chuckles nervously) Yeah.Erlich: That. Yes, that. So, while our fortune is rising, everybody else thinks that it's plummeting, and I can use these opposing forces to a multiplying effect like a slingshot, and then I make a decision. I'm gonna make a move. So, I say something cryptic about the uptick, and I walk away.Dinesh: What did you say?Erlich: I don't know. I can't remember. But I walk over and I see McNamee's having the short rib, which I hear is delicious but not too heavy, and then I say to him, "You're gonna have to tuck in your tie-dye if you want to eat here."Dinesh: (laughing) Uh, how's that relevant?Erlich: It's not. But the people that I just walked away from don't know that. All they know is that I'm over there exchanging witty banter with McNamee, and about what, they don't know. It's all that they do want to know. And then, it settles in. FOMO... The fear of missing out. Suddenly, it feels like time is slowing down. I could see every move I was going to make 12 steps ahead. It was like I was Bobby Fischer if he could really fuck. I go outside, I walk across the street to Graylock, I check in on Instagram, Vinod Khosla calls me, asks me what I doing there. I say, "I can't talk right now. Call me at Wood Opal." Well, he does, and then suddenly Wood Opal is going, "What's Khosla got going on with Bachman?" Meanwhile, I'm taking a leak at a Restoration Hardware. I jack off a little bit. I don't cum. And then it snowballs. I deftly played Ross Loma against Index Ventures. And because of that, the big kahuna bites. Sequoia. I spend the next 20 minutes denying calls from Jim Goetz, over and over. And yes, I'm jacking off, but I don't need to ejaculate because by the time I listen to the messages, I've got offers, I've got counters, I've got counter-counters. I cum. When the dust settled and the losers went home, all that was left was this. "Hello, Mr. Bachman. "Coleman Blair Partners would like to offer Pied Piper a Series B round of $6 million on a $60 million valuation."Jared: Oh. (whispers) Yeah! Dinesh: Holy shit.