Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.George Bernard Shaw~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

USA Senior Health Care Solution

So you're a senior citizen and the government says no health care for you, what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. Your are allowed to shoot 2 senators and 2 representatives. Of Course, this means you will be sent to prison where you will get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head, and all the health care you need! New teeth, no problem. Need glasses, great. New hip, knees, kidney, lungs, heart? All covered. And who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you that you are too old for health care. Plus, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income taxes any more.

IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said ' Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy , you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these witches would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.AMEN~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" To which she replied "Probably that I married you for your money."~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?' 'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?' He yelled back, 'OHIO STATE!' And they say blondes are dumb!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A couple was celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary. For the entire time they had been married, the wife had kept a safe which the husband had never been allowed to look into. He asked her if, since they had been married so long, he could see what she had been keeping all these years. She said OK and opened the safe. In it were a pile of money totalling $10,000 and three chicken eggs. He asked her, "What are the eggs doing in there?" She said,"Well, I have to admit that I haven't been completely faithful to you. Whenever I strayed, I put an egg in the safe." He thought about it and said, "Well, I guess I can't be too upset about three eggs. But where did all the money come from?" She replied, "Every time I got a dozen, I sold them."~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.

"How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk.

She showed him a bottle costing $50.00.

"That's a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00.

"That's still quite a bit," Tim complained.

Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.

"What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap."

The clerk handed him a mirror.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This 80 year old woman was arrested for shoplifting in a supermarket.

When she went before the judge he asked her, 'What did you steal?'

She replied, 'A can of peaches.'

The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches, and she replied that she was hungry.

The judge asked her how many peaches were in the can.

She replied that there were six.

The judge said, 'Then I will give you six days in jail.'

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman's husband stood up, and asked the judge if he could say something.

The judge said, 'What is it?'

The husband said, ‘She also stole a can of peas.’~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie.

Early to bed, early to rise morning #3 is off and crawling.

The best thing about it......IT'S FRIDAY!!!!

The next best thing, I get off at 2:00, YAHOO!

and

Yesterday morning we got over 2 1/2" of rain, and the creek was at flood stage when I got home.

My point is, hopefully Saturday or Sunday I'll be able to find some points.

Elementally my dear Watson.

The element of rain, of course.

As if you needed to be told.

Happy trails everyone.

joe

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"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

Good Morning Joe, SpaceQ and all coming to the Diner this morning. Joe I hope the creek recedes so you can hunt for arrowheads. SpaceQ happy dreams. Cailyn hope all is well with you. I'm up early this morning so coffee is ready! Have a Great Day everyone!

Good morning everyone. We had 5 inches of rain yesterday. Today it should be sunny and dry until late afternoon. A shopping day is in the cards. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful TGIF. Danish, Omelets, and Waffles with Whipped Cream in the NC.

It is going to be another beautiful day. In the 70's. Just got through taking Cory for his walk. Nice out. Been doing laundry and housecleaning this morning. I will be gone most of the day tomorrow. Carol and I are going to the Taste of Home Cooking School. Can't wait.

Been playing the new solitaire game I won. Fun.

Have a great day y'all.

Bets

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Corgis fill your life with Joy, your heart with Love, and your soul with Sunshine.

I have a very heavy heart today. Could I ask for some prayers and good thoughts and vibes for my youngest granddaughter, the one who is the mother to my two great-grandkids Abbi and Jude. Please and thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Joe you must be half way through your work day and getting ready for a nice weekend off. Hope the conditions are just right for your head hunting!! Thanks for the chuckles.

Ana praying that your project moves right along for ya and that that four hours refreshed you!! HUGS!!

Gerry thanks for getting the coffee started. Have a lovely day!

Space this it it.....the weekend is upon us, enjoy!!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Connie glad the rain is over for a little while so you may get out and do some shopping. Have fun and thanks for the treats!!

Gail hope that you can run between the drops if you go out shopping. Rain equals gaming sooooo....Happy Gaming!!

Darlene may work time fly and may everything go smoothly today! Have a lovely day!

Bets enjoy the lovely weather but please could ya send some this way????

Taxi night but not sure if I am going. I just might drive them and go back and pick them up when they are ready!

Eeeek....what a morning. I've been up since 5:30 and just now am sitting down with a cup of coffee. Time for a break! :happdance:

Hubby and I got up to go run the dogs. We are always on a time schedule for these runs...so have to get up, get out, do it, get back, and get Soot out. Of course, since the boys heard us, they popped out. I sent them back to bed and told them we'd get them when we got back.

Then we discovered that my van keys were missing. I was sick yesterday when the boys and I got back from the store, but I was pretty sure I had hung them up. So we looked around, couldn't find them, got the spare key and took off.

Got us all to the park, around and around we went, and then back. Told the boys they could come down. Of course, that started a steady stream of "Can I do X, and Can I have that, and When can I do this?"

Finally got our morning smoothie made 2ce...Once for us and once for son and boys. Next came cooking and then cleaning up the kitchen...got everyone including the boys and the dogs fed. Cleaned up the kitchen again.

Son called on the way to work to ask me why there was plastic in his smoothie? Settled a few fights between the boys and talked about consequences....settled a few more and talked about consequences again and told them the next time no more talk, all consequences.

So now sitting and sipping with my headphones on listening to tv. In a bit we will go try on the clothes we got yesterday and clean their room for a bit and swap some laundry and then off to the park providing they have behaved.