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clipped from www.google.com A guy was seated next to a 10-year-old girl on an airplane. Being bored, he turned to the girl and said, "Let's talk. I''ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The girl, who was reading a book, closed it slowly and said to the guy, "What would you like to talk about?"

Oh, I don't know," said the guy. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff... grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

The guy thought about it and said, "Hmmm, I have no idea." To which the girl replied, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don''t know sh*t?"

clipped from reluctantnomad.blogspot.com "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."Winston Churchill "A modest little person, with much to be modest about."Winston Churchill "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."Groucho Marx "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend... if you have one."George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill "I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."Stephen Bishop "He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."Samuel Johnson "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."Oscar Wilde

clipped from quotations.about.com 1) Mark TwainTwenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. 2) Luigi PirandelloIn bed my real love has always been the sleep that rescued me by allowing me to dream. 3) Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. 4) Zig ZiglarPeople often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily. 5) T. S. ElliotOnly those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. 6) BuddhaAll that we are is the result of what we have thought. 7) Ralph Waldo EmersonDo not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. 8) Peter F. DruckerWe know nothing about motivation. All we can do is write books…

21. When things go wrong.....don't go with them. clipped from mail.google.com 1. No one can ruin your day without YOUR permission. 2. Most people will be about as happy, as they decide to be. 3. Others can stop you temporarily, but only you can do it permanently. 4. Whatever you are willing to put up with, is exactly what you will have. 5. Success stops when you do. 6. When your ship comes in.... make sure you are willing to unload it. 7. You will never have it all together. 8. Life is a journey...not a destination. Enjoy the trip! 9. The biggest lie on the planet: When I get what I want I will be happy. 10. The best way to escape your problem is to solve it. 11. I've learned that ultimately, 'takers' lose and 'givers' win. 12. Life's precious moments don't have value, unless they are shared. 13. If you don't start, it's certain you won't arrive. 14. We often fear the th…

clipped from www.libertyhigh56.netAn Old Farmer's Advice * Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled. * Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads. * You cannot unsay a cruel word. * The best sermons are lived, not preached. * Don't judge folks by their relatives. * If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

ha ha clipped from masalajokes.blogspot.com Marriages are made in heaven. But so are thunder and lightning If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say; talk in your sleep Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry That …

Just testing Clipper clipped from www.didyouknow.cdWitty Quotes Don't argue about the difficulties. The difficulties will argue for themselves.- Winston Churchill The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.- George Bernard Shaw Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.- Phyllis Diller Speak the truth, but leave immediately after.- Slovenian proverb Imagination is more important than knowledge.- Albert Einstein Anything not worth doing is worth not doing well. Think about it.- Elias Schwartz Everything you can imagine is real.- Picasso Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival.- W. Edwards Deming A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.- Winston Churchill No matter how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.- Abraham Lincoln Education's purpose is to re…

"This is a serious allegation. I fear you may be right. This is a British tradition that must not be lost. If I were running for office again, I'd make it a major part of any platform" - Tony Blair on being told it was impossible to buy a decent cup of tea in London any more."I am flattered by the shoulders, slightly worried by the nose and a bit concerned that my colleagues in the House of Commons might acquire it so they can throw things at it" - Former Home Secretary David Blunkett admiring, by touch, a new bronze of himself."If we called April May, and May April, the weather was absolutely seasonal. All we really need do to cope with climate change is alter the names of the month or rearrange them" - Best-selling author Frederick Forsyth."He has already been seen wearing a pair of crumpled beige chinos and an open-neck shirt. I think it's safe to say that he will be having a buzz cut, before being snapped grooving on down at a…

"I was a member of a group called the Kissy Girls. I was very sexual in kindergarten. I created a game where I would kiss the boys. Then we would make out and we would take our clothes off. I got in a lot of trouble" - Angelina Jolie."Oxford didn't teach me anything, nothing at all" - Nobel Prize-winning author VS Naipaul."If they ever decide to sneak off and get married without us, me and Gav's mum and dad would kill them both" - Maria, mother of singer Charlotte Church who is engaged to Gavin Henson."Defence Secretary Des Browne really did say, 'I have expressed a degree of regret that could be equated with an apology'. People should be hanged for this kind of thing" - Political pundit and former Tory MP Matthew Parris."Plaskitt the Casket" - Nickname given to Work and Pensions Minister James Plaskitt who has been adjudged parliamentarian of the year by the National Association of Funeral Directors. "I…

"There is an enormous difference in what actually happened and what theimagination did to it" - Actress Anna Massey, on writing herautobiography."The delicious irony is that my bitter enemies are going to operate thestructures and mechanisms we put in place nine years ago. I shall enjoythat" - Lord (David) Trimble, former Leader of the Ulster Unionist Partyon the forthcoming Ian Paisley-Gerry Adams "coalition"."It is futile to blame Margaret Beckett at the Foreign Office for notresponding with a heavier hand. She had nothing in her hand. We don'tdispatch gunboats to countries that poke us in the eye these days" -Tory peer Lord Deedes on the naval personnel captured by Iran."I hope that even in Blair's Britain there will be no question of givingmedals to any of these captives. They may deserve our pity, but they donot command our respect" - Former Fleet Street editor Sir Max Hastingson the conduct of the naval personnel held by …

Nia Griffith (Llanelli MP) - Lord Elwyn Jones Memorial Lecture for the WEA in Llanelli.This took place in Llanelli Town Hall.Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen, Noswaith dda Boneddigion.a Boneddigesau It is a great pleasure and honour to be here this evening, giving the Lord Elwyn Jones memorial lecture. Lord Elwyn Jones, a son of whom Llanelli can be rightly very proud served his fellow citizens as a Labour MP for 29 years, rising to become Attorney General and Later Lord Chancellor. I will return later in my lecture to say a few words about him.Well, if you are sitting comfortably, then I’ll begin. So Politicians, saints or sinners?Which do you want to hear about, the saints or the sinners? Saints you said – well, that’s obviously because you are hoping to go home early, because of course there’s not much to say about the saints. The sinners, they are far more interesting – that’s what sells papers, that’s what keeps the soap operas and reality shows going.In fact we can go right ba…