stability

he told me stability
was like gold: the most important
thing one could own,
like love:
the most important thing one could know

she asked me the other day
if I was still on the path
to leadership there
& I lied & said yes

I briefly wished that I was,
to still be on a clear-cut pathway
with clear-cut milestones
& a clear-cut plan for getting there
where I could know & depend upon
security & stability
& of always knowing what was next
what to expect
I know this isn’t what I really want:
it is me being afraid of where I am now
& of the necessity of waiting until
the next step I need to take becomes clear
I hate waiting
& not knowing what I should do
uncertainty is yet to be a friend of mine

but remember: the stability
is all a lie the prices all drop
& the people you trust might
let you down if it’s in their better interest

besides, who wants to be a slave
of their robot society
when you can be free
in the open world?