Microservices is a silver bullet, magic pill, instant fix, and can’t-go-wrong solution to all of software’s problems. In fact, as soon you implement even the basics of microservices all of your dreams come true; you will triple productivity, reach your ideal weight, land your dream job, win the lottery 10 times, and be able to fly, clearly.

While this sounds like a lot of hyperbole wrapped up in some BS, if you have been listening to anything around microservices recently you will most likely have heard something not too far from this exaggerated sentiment – especially if it is coming from sales folks.

As a result of this, you or someone you know will likely have been charged by management to implement a solution in microservices or refactor an existing application to take advantage of microservices to ensure that you get all the magic. With so much overinflation of the truth out there, chances are you may have also implemented a microservices antipattern. These antipatterns are actually more common in the wild than fully functional microservices architectures.

Overview
In this post we will cover the most common antipatterns that I have witnessed in the wild:

Break the Piggy Bank
Everything Micro (Except for the Data)
We are Agile! a.k.a. The Frankenstein

Each one of these results from a common misconception. We will do our best to define these patterns and their symptoms. After each, we will also show a way out of the mess so that you can recover and begin to move towards a better implementation. Let’s get started!