I went on one of my legendary Twitter rants this morning. This time, it was about the fact that females tend to get way too involved with other people's affairs. I don't care if a woman is fat, ugly, bald and taking ten men at a time, unless one of the men is my own. I'm of the strong belief that if it doesn't affect me or my life, it's not something to concern myself with. Rather than misquote myself or changing the tone/mood I was in when tweeting, I'll just copy these tweets here...

Mi just haffi get well violent pon a female a while ago.'U nuh see how yah get big and fat?' - Obviously I can see that! Y u hav a prob wit it tho? Is it ur fat or mine? GrrrI can't stand females and this shit. Why do u need to comment on other female's physical appearance? Its their business, not ursIf they don't have a problem, I can't see why you shouldU don't see me tryna enter MJU or walk around in a bikini with my fat self, tryna offend u or anything.I sleep, I sit around, I eat and goddammit I am the happiest I have ever been - leave me the hell aloneGrrrrr.....

Come a upset mi good good mood inna di morning ya! Stop dictate how mi fi live my life and guh sort out fi yuh!Then ya'll wonder y ppl get frustrated and throw themselves off buildings and shit! Its cuz a ppl like UU kno y I hate this so much. Cuz when I used to be humongous, ppl used to do that shit. And I used to cry & I was miserable.

Ppl don't deserve the rite to tear ppl down like thatObviously fat ppl have enough problems and criticisms as it is. Why add to it?And for the record, constant teasin & ridicule of fat ppl won't make them skinny, it makes them insecure and suicidal.

For the record, I aint throwin myself off no bldg ya'll. I'm with @nikkirich61. I own my fat and I'm proud as hell. *big girl smile*See dis wat I'm talkin bout!Rick Ross da Boss on the cover of Vibe......nekkid! Aw heyl naw! Like wtf Vibe? See, at least I aint doin shit like thatThen it was all back to fun and games from there...But tell me what you think of this. Am I being too defensive because I'm the fat girl of which I speak? Are there other situations you would apply this to? Has this ever happened to you - not necessarily the fat part, but any physical characteristic about yourself - or have you ever been the instigator in such a situation/

I was just two seconds away from finishing a beautiful blog post about my love for Latin dance (and all things Spanish really, including the men, va-va-voom) when GOOGLE CHROME becomes 'unresponsive' and asks me if I want to kill the page. In my head, I am saying 'YES I WANT TO KILL YOU. TORTURE YOU SLOWLY THEN STAB YOU IN THE HEART!" but my hand clicks the 'Wait' button instead because I really, really, really didn't want to have to rewrite that post. Unfortunately for me, Chrome was thinking the same thing I was thinking. It did not want me to 'wait', it wanted to die - so I killed it. Now I restart it, breathe new life into it and what does it do for me? Oh, only lose EVERYTHING I WROTE FOR THE PAST 20 MINUTES! Grrrr.....

To top that off, my dumb phone has not been working all weekend. Serves me right for depending on a Blackberry (oh please, like you haven't heard the stories). Now I have three batteries because of this unreliable thing - not that I can use any of them because di ediat phone nah charge! Apparently it become so stush and temperamental that only a wall charger is good enough to be stuck in its opening. And common old USB's are all I have. Oh well...if you trying to call and can't get through, that's probably why (well that and I probably don't want to talk to you anyway).

I am sick and tired of technology. I'm going Amish I swear to you. I can't stand it no more...

By the way, I know I'll regret this in the morning. Truth is, I love technology, I love the internet, I love my Blackberry (not my phone of choice but its mine and it has served well #teamiPhone) and I really really seriously love you Google....but you guys just get me really upset sometimes. What? You want to work it out? How you plan to do that? Exactly, see what I mean...you can't change the past and I don't see you doing anything to rectify the future.

See, I've never gone to a gym in my life. Sure I've glimpsed a few in passing, seen 'em on TV a couple times but I've never actually used one...ever.

Not that I haven't had reason to though. See, when I was younger, up until about age 17 or so, I was ALWAYS the fat girl. Being fat is a personal problem all in itself, but listening to classmates tell you that you're fat and then coming home and having your parents tease you all the time does NOT contribute to healthy psychological development. My self-esteem was gone before it ever came.

So yeah, I could have done with a gym. It was only natural then, that once I got the opportunity to make the decision while in college, I started looking for a gym to go to. Then I found out, oh my WOW, gyms are expensive as hell! I'm supposed to pay that much money for all the torture devices they have in there and the pain they are putting me through. At that time, the only income I earned was an allowance from my dad and that was just enough to keep me alive. Hell to tha no...

Then something miraculous happened -- I started shedding pounds like a mother*. Yay! I got skinnier, I got attention, I got to shop in the regular section of the department store, things were happening to me. And I wasn't doing a damn thing! Life was awesome...

Until school ended. I started working a NINE HOUR A DAY job, sitting down at a little cubicle all day long except for that one special hour where I got to eat food. And due to my choices of some meal with oil-soaked french fries or othere equally unhealthy jun, wouldn't you know it, my ass got fat again. Only this time, my weight gain was off the charts. I was gaining back the weight even quicker than I lost it.

Adding to these weight gain factors, I was going through a rough personal phase of my life. As a result of this rough personal phase I decided that celibacy may be the key to unlocking my true destiny (I know what you are thinking, trust me, I think I'm crazy too sometimes). But that topic is for another post.

Now since the sex was my only form of activity whatsoever, I was now left severely lacking (in more ways than one). I started looking for weight loss alternatives. I found out about a dance class and decided that I would get involved. Did it for a month and while it was super fun and awesome, the weight has not budged. I. Just. Can't.

I'm through the revolving door and I'm now back at the gym starting point. Only now, I'm afraid. For several reasons. I'm afraid to have to walk into that place with my fat ass and get judged by all the skinny, in-shape people who've been going to gyms all their lives. I'm afraid that after paying for the gym costs AND personal trainer (cuz I would have no clue what to do first) that I would send myself into a poorhouse. Most of all, I'm afraid that it may be too difficult and I will bail out and not go back.

So now what do I do?

Pls, it's not that I have a problem with fat. OR even that I think I'm all that fat *jiggles thighs*. I just wanna fit into my nice clothes again...

Mi nuh usually do di patwa ting and mi a try real hard nuh fi promote suss and drama but NOOOOOO SAAAAAAHHH! Dis girl need fi have a seat >>.{\__/}Now explain to mi how dis work...Yuh man si mi, like mi, want up mi good-up, good-up baddy. Obviously him neva did a tink bout you when him did a PING off mi phone fi one year straight and me neva even know seh you exist...Mi tell him up front seh mi nuh want him. Him still a pree mi like the Earth a guh collapse and a me alone can save him. So wah, a nuh my fault...Den you just happen fi move come inna my house. Mi nain know you and you nain know me. ACCIDENTALLY mi find out seh you and him deh from way back when. If mi did want him, mi nain haffi tell yuh but di nigga was of NO CONSEQUENCE and mi did glad fi get him offa mi case so mi delete di likkle dutty bwoy PIN and tell him don’t call back mi phone...Afta you well get heated a talk bout yah guh pizen him because a bare bun him a gi yuh, and him act like seh fi deh wid one woman and look one nex one when di two a dem inna di same house a nuh no big deal, YUH GUH DEH BACK WID HIM AND BRING HIM BACK A DI YAAD...Mi not even a pree yuh cuz IDGAF. But one fine vacation day morning mi get up outta my room fi see one random man a pass through my house when NUHBADDY ELSE NUH DEH DEH and him have your key, a bathe inna fi yuh bathroom and a put on clothes inna fi yuh bedroom AND YOU DEH A RERK???Plus di mount a time mi see man guh inna yuh room a night time and den hear seh u lef dem a di yaad when yuh gawn bout your business and nuhbaddy nuh know seh dem deh deh? (Bitch, dat’s how people get RAPED by the way, not that you give a flying rat’s ass)So when you have di AUDACIOUSNESS (a wah, a nuh LA alone can mek up word) fi come faas inna fimi private conversation fi come tell your man bout how mi a write up bout him (when dat nigga don’t even cross my mind since him show him true dogging, whorin colours), and him com text me wid some VERY CHOICE WORDS bout how him betta nuh see nutten bout him pon mi blog, mi did WELL SHOCK!Suh when mi guh mek di move now fi return your ‘wide open mout’ fava and tell him seh him fi stop pree mi and mi business and start pree him nasty whorin gyal and di nightclub list a ppl she hav a roam bout inna mi yaad, yuh fi SIDDUNG AND TEK IT!How dare you com a tell di werl and him raas modda bout MI A TRY LOOK YUH MAN???Me...university degree having, not-short-of-suitors-F-Y-I, paying my own rent wid a job ur ass could only dream of....Looking...Your...still in school, not earning a friggin cent, can hardly chat much less write a full sentence, country-bumpkin ass, whorin, dutty, stinkin, cheatin, lyin scoundrel of a man?BITCH PLEEEEEAAAASE!!!!!!!! GET A HOBBY – fix yuh face, find out why yuh man need fi fling him dick inna every corner a di planet, plait di hair dem pon yuh pumpum....SUPP’N!But DONT DWEET! Yah hear mi, DON’T DWEET!DISCLAIMER: I’m rarely ever like this but some people just bring out the worst in me.

I know what you're thinking. 'Day 16? Where the hell is Days 1 through 15?' Well, you can find those here. See, for a while I was doing the 30 Day Blog Challenge but then I stopped. I don't remember why. So since I no longer have a valid reason for stopping (and I probably never did anyway), I will continue.

Generally, when I see a man and his child, my heart melts. I think its the most beautiful thing in the world and I can't help but smile. So naturally, when I read this topic, this is what came to mind. So I was about to Google to find the cutest father/child picture I could find when it hit me. I saw the perfect one not so long ago...

Why does this photograph make me smile? (No, not because the cute guy is shirtless.) It's because I think the strongest and most beautiful love is that of a father to his child. And in a society where fathers abandon their responsibilities so often, it warms my heart to see the man that not only owns up to his creation, but will do anything for his child.The picture above is of a person I recently met (friend of a friend). From the moment we had our first conversation I immediately respected him for the way he spoke about his son. Not as another responsibility or task, but truly like an extension of himself. And although I am not yet a mother (knocks on wood), it is moments like these that make me want to have a child to have this experience. All it takes for me to feel an overwhelming sense of joy is to see a picture just like this one. Another reason it makes me smile to see this is because of my father. He is the most amazing man. No matter the circumstances or how stern he may have been when he didn't approve of my actions, he was always there. And I know he didn't have to be. Everyday I think of him I realize that there is absolutely no way I could have been half the person I am today if that man wasn't in my life. He has taught me too much of what I know. I am so happy he decided I was worth the trouble. Up to this day, he's the first phone call in the morning and the last phone call of the day. We spend hours sitting and talking about anything and everything. Words cannot express how much I love him. It is my wish that for everytime I see a picture like this, that child grows up knowing what I know. And that child respects, cherishes and loves their father as much as I do. It doesn't just take a functioning reproductive system to be a father, it takes moments like these. PS. Thanks Jav for allowing me to use this pic. It really did make me smile.

So you know how I've always said that by age 30 I want to visit Dubai. Well, when I do (hopefully it will be sooner cuz I'm itching like crazy to go), this is where I'll be staying...

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you....

HYDROPOLIS!The world's first and (currently) only underwater hotel.The most beautiful thing I've seen in a long time.The place that plagues my ever wandering thought.The dream vacation that most pleasantly invaded my dream from ever since the first day I heard about it.

Mini Orgasm

If this is how it looks, I don't think I'll be leaving my room...

So in closing, I ask the following:

1. Do you know anywhere more beautiful?2. Who's coming with me?3. Do you know of any way I can get there anytime soon, job opportunity for example?4. Would anyone like to sponsor my trip?*goes off into Dubai dreamland

The Strange Individual

I am a University graduate who just entered into the world of work. I have crazy thoughts and a twisted lifestyle. Everyone claims my life should be a book so since I can't remember every episode of everyday and they can't all fit in one book, I figure it might be more beneficial to do this. Here goes...