Capitalist dogs in hot pursuit of Jane and Bernie Sanders

WASHINGTON, June 25, 2017 — Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders did his best in the 2016 presidential campaign to make democratic socialism more palatable to U.S. voters than it currently is to starving Venezuelans.

In that Latin American hell hole, the architects of socialist disaster have engineered shortages of toilet paper, basic medical supplies, and food. Venezuelans have begun to supplement their diets by hunting stray cats and dogs.

The beauty of presiding over a failed socialist state is that its corrupt rulers never have to say they’re sorry. They simply blame their catastrophic failures on invisible enemies like “capitalist running dogs” and “one-percenters”.

Sanders is less lucky than Venezuela’s President Nicolás Maduro: He doesn’t live in Venezuela. It’s his misfortune to live in capitalist America, where OPM (Other People’s Money)—a compact representation of private property—is protected by the rule of law.

In America, those found guilty of swindling the 97.5 percenters usually find themselves in court and, if convicted, join the nation’s 2.5 percenters: felons thrown behind bars and rightfully stripped of their voting rights.

Now defunct Burlington College in Vermont.

Bernie’s wife, Mrs. Jane Sanders, lawyered up after receiving word federal authorities are investigating allegations of bank fraud concerning her $10 million loan made on behalf of Burlington College, where she served as president.

The school has since gone belly up.

While former FBI Director James Comey was unusually vocal concerning the investigation into Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, he remained tight-lipped regarding the 15-month FBI probe into Jane Sanders.

Former FBI Director James Comey.

According to Vermont’s alternative online news site Seven Days, FBI agents asked Mrs. Sander’s successor, Carol More, if there was “any collusion between Jane Sanders and the bank? … Did she falsify records in order to get the loan from the bank?”

The allegation is that Mrs. Sanders secured the loan on claims that donor pledges totaling $2.6 million would help the college repay the debt.

The investigation stems from a complaint filed on behalf of members of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Burlington, Vermont, which lost an estimated $2 million when the college defaulted on its loan to purchase its 32-acre lakefront property.

“This was a story that just, amazingly enough, came out in the middle of my presidential campaign, initiated by Donald Trump’s campaign manager in Vermont,” Bernie Sanders told the New York Times.

Sanders would have us believe his and his wife’s legal troubles are all the fault of a capitalist running dog and member of the one percenters.