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The Sunday Series (84), with Mark Brodinsky

No one should ever go through a life challenge alone. Few do. Because we all feel the deepest of human experiences together – love and loss. When forced to make a choice, when pushed to decide to live or to die, most of us want to take the road most traveled, the one to survival. The most uplifting part of the journey is that all along the path are people willing to lend a hand.

Everyone has a story.

I am Mark Brodinsky and this is The Sunday Series.

“The first thing you think about is your kids – oh my god I’m dying – or I could die. I tried not to go there in my thoughts. The main thing is you think about the people you love.”– Ellen Logwood

The Logwood Family:Jay, Ellen, Sara & Spencer

It was the lump Ellen felt in June of 2013 – she thought maybe it was just the scar tissue from the breast lift she had done less than a decade prior. Even the doctors thought so, that is until the sonograms showed a second lump.

Then all bets were off.

“The doctor removed them (the lumps) and biopsied them, all along thinking they were benign cysts”, says Ellen. But two days after the biopsy I got a call at work. It was Friday June 14th, the call was from my gynecologist , and he said he did not have good news. He said it was super early, stage one, but I wasn’t so sure.” The same day Ellen was on the phone to Doctor Michael Schultz, who wasted not time, scheduling an appointment for 6am the following Monday.

Then the weekend got in the way.

Ellen says there was too much time to reflect, too much time to worry, too much time for fear, too much time on her hands. Plus it was her son Spencer’s 6th birthday. At least there was some distraction, but doing something special for her son just made her think about her family all the more. Ellen says it’s not being there for the ones you love and who rely on you that is the scariest. “I thought holy sh*t, how am I going to take care of my kids? Am I going to lose my hair? Throw up? How am I going to work? Will there be a reoccurrence?”

The following days brought answers and a road map for what was to come. Ellen says Dr Schultz knew right away the cancer was Stage 2, not Stage 1. “When he did the exam he biopsied the lymph node he felt”, she says, “which scared me because if it gets in the lymph node who knows where it is. He decided to do a PET scan, and then we waited. During those days I didn’t want to talk or deal with anybody.”

The news from the PET scan turned out to be in her favor, the lymph node was negative, but an MRI of Ellen’s left breast showed it was completely filled with cancer cells. “Doctor Schulz showed me the scan and then made the plan, 16 treatments of chemotherapy and 33 radiation treatments, nearly a year and a half of treatments before the decision to do a single mastectomy.”

During that time it was all about the “village” with overwhelming support and one special friend who made every step of the journey with Ellen. “My friend Kim Koppel, she went to every appointment with me, every chemo and oncology appointment with me. She took notes. I didn’t do that, I stared at the ground, she made a binder and did everything, I didn’t have to worry about a thing.”

Kim & Ellen

But there was one thing Ellen could do for herself, which was keep her mind focused in the right direction, moving forward. “You’ve got to go into it positive”, says Ellen. “I didn’t take off work, I went into it thinking I’m going to be OK. I’m not going to be sick, I’m going to be fine. Let’s get it done so it can be over. I didn’t feel sorry for myself because there is always someone who has it worse. I’m not on my deathbed, There are people who are. I didn’t let it overwhelm me. I said to myself I’m going to deal with this. I have breast cancer and I’m going to beat it. I didn’t think what if – I tried not to think too much about it. I just did it. You have to keep active, it’s healthy for your mind. If you go into it thinking oh sh*t why me, then that’s trouble. I have a client who died from ALS, that was bad, this I can handle.”

And handling “it” means everyone is involved. Once chemotherapy began, Ellen had her children, Sara and Spencer shave her head. She says, “when you have kids you have to show them you are brave and that you are OK. They are the most important thing, they look at me, they see me, I didn’t want them to be scared.”

Helping to alleviate Ellen’s fears and keep her positive and motivated is the tremendous support system – it’s always the community coming together to help someone in need – and this situation was no different. “People don’t realize how support helps”, says Ellen. “People think they are annoying you, but they’re not. I could cry talking about it. There are so many people who love and support me it is UNBELIEVABLE. People send me gifts and cards and flowers and some of those people I haven’t seen in years. I have just seen so much good during this whole journey. All of the support just showed me how lucky I am.”

More recently, since the chemotherapy and radiation treatments ended, Ellen has been through a painful and confusing maze of reconstructive surgery on her breasts, including the most recent surgery just a few weeks ago undergoing a latissimus dorsi flap procedure – an oval flap of skin, muscle and blood vessels from the upper back used to reconstruct one of her breasts. Ellen says it was painful – “I cried all night long the first night, I take pain well, but it was very, very painful and I itched everywhere, like I had bugs all over me, back, chest and arms.”

It is now more than two years into the journey and it’s the recent reconstruction surgeries which have been the biggest uphill challenge to overcome. But that’s just it – it’s uphill – it’s not a mountain Ellen Longwood can’t climb! “It’s been two years, I’m done with it”, says Ellen. “Cancer sucks, it affects so many people. There is no rhyme or reason for it, none of my family members had breast cancer. I was 38 when I was diagnosed, no reason to have had a mammogram before then and I’m not BRCA positive.”

But what about the life lesson to be learned here? Ellen says – “you have to find the good in everything. You just have to. I don’t believe everything happens for a reason, but I do believe everything that happens you can find the good in it. And having breast cancer has made me a stronger person, which made me see more good in people, which has made me not sweat the small stuff. People worry about such dumb stuff and I get it, to them it might be a big deal. So many people worry about what they look like, but it’s on the inside that matters and without your health you have nothing. You have to take care of yourself – and – be sure to check your boobs. 🙂

Like most breast cancer victims it’s not the cancer that defines Ellen Logwood. It’s three other words:
Survivor, Warrior, Hero.

Comments

Ellen – The outpouring of love that you received was in direct relation to the light, love, and laughter that you give to those who know you. It is truly an honor to be your person! Mark, thank you for sharing Ellen’s story and highlighting this amazing woman who kicked cancer ‘s ass with grace and a smile.

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Blog Reviews

Love seeing new blogs hit the ground running like this one (by a dad no less), but I also urge anyone vaguely interested in blogging to stay tuned, I am. Good luck on your journey – glad that I am along for the ride.

Rachel Blaufeld

Great blog Mark! I always appreciate reading what you have to say. You are very gifted and talented and hopefully someday you’ll not just blog, but write a book.

Stephen Koncurat

I’m definitely along for the ride. We’ve all seen how much damage the written word can inflict. More positive writers are needed. And I love how you are using your personal experiences – those with your wife and children – and your gift of writing to open eyes and to inspire others.

Victoria Endicott

Absolutely beautifully written! The girls in your life must be very proud of you. Thanks for sharing Mark, I look forward to reading more!

Gina Glick Jolson

Very shortly this site will be famous amid all blogging and site-building users, due to it’s pleasant posts.

Leila Galloway

Absolutely beautiful! Are you at all thinking of penning a book? You’ve got a fan base out there that really thinks you should Mark. You write so eloquently. Glad that I got onto this site.

Marilyn Lefkowitz

Mark, You are truly a gifted writer and obviously, a special father and husband . Always a delight to read your words.

I’m speechless…beautiful words flow from your heart just like a gentle waterfall into a tranquil stream… thank you so much for the friend request I was blessed the day I clicked confirm.

Lynne Turner Dorsey

From your first writing in 4th grade entitled “People” which was published in the school newspaper, you have always been able to write. Never more so than when you started “Caringbridge” and now your blog, everyone who reads says what a wonderful writer you are. Our DREAM for you is to become an author and encourage people every day. You are by the far the best and we hope and pray you reach your dream.

Bonnie Brodinsky

I know you always thank us for reading but I would like to say thanks for writing.

Stuart Abell

Great piece. You are an inspiration!

Rob Commodari

Mark I just wanted to let you know that you are succeeding in your “ultimate goal”. I have gained so much from your blogs. I look forward to reading them for the special lift that they give me. Thank you.

Amy F.

I love waking up and starting my day with my coffee and your blog! It a great way to start my day with positive uplifting thoughts!! It puts me in a positive frame of mind throughout the day and allows me to reflect on my personal life, make changes, and grow !!!

Gayle Blank

You are quite talented Mark. Thanks for sharing!

Cynthia

I always look forward to your Blog Mark. Thanks for sharing and as you always do, make it a great / remarkable Day!

Chuck Connolly

Thanks for your Blog Mark. It is fun, encouraging and a nice break from a day full of ups and downs.

Jackie Hetrick

With my busy schedule, there is (sadly) little time for reading. But I have two must-reads every time I come across them, the sports section and your blogs. Keep inspiring and following your dream!

Ed Nemec

Mark, you are a truly remarkable individual. You do speak from your heart, I can’t wait to read your book. You are an incredible writer.

Debbie Press

Mark, I am glad I clicked on your post this morning, which lead me to your writing, your goal.
Would like to connect. This speaks to me.

Aileen Braverman

I can’t wait to read the book. I have followed all the blogs and feel so good that I know u guys. You make me cry but you make me laugh too. All the very best to you!

Beverlee Rendelman

Connect with Mark!

WOW!!! It Takes 2 is a must read for anyone who has known someone diagnosed with cancer or other life threatening disease. This is the real story of a family lead by an incredible woman, Debbie Brodinsky, who took radical steps to beat the breast cancer beast. The story is told by her husband, Mark Brodinsky, through journal entries he kept starting with diagnosis through one year cancer free. This author's unique ability to pour his heart out onto the page draws you in from the beginning and holds you until the very end.

Thanks to Mark and Debbie Brodinsky for this gift...I have a new perspective on what it means to be a breast cancer survivor. You are a hero, Debbie Brodinsky!

TeeBThree
September 25, 2013

This book gives a heartfelt, in depth description of what it is like to go through breast cancer with the one you love. It is beautifully written and I felt as though I was living it with them! I highly recommend this book!

Jgs17September 24, 2013

In It Takes 2, Mark Brodinsky windows us into his world where his wife, the cancer patient, is not the only victim. Part journal, part roadmap, It Takes 2 goes to the real humanity of facing the mortality of one's better half. Mark's candid perspective, love, and fierce intention resonate with hope in a story which is about much more than cancer. Mark himself is perhaps the most heroic character for the way he appreciates this life and so many of us in it...as he says, "thanks for caring."

Réné PallaceSeptember 24, 2013

It Takes Two: A Spouse's Story by Mark Brodinsky should be read by every person who is experiencing serious illness or injury or by a loved one of someone who is experiencing either of those situations. The book is an eloquent testament to the power of love and the healing energy derived from the belief that things will get better. There is not one word of "poor me" from the author or his wife who suffered breast cancer and the radical surgery she elected to have to beat the cancer. Rather, the book is a celebration of the courage displayed by them both in seeing it through.

The book also encourages readers to speak and write down their true feelings and be validated in them. John Mackovic writing in the Palm Springs, CA Desert Sun on November 2, 2013 quoted author and artist Doe Zantamata who said, " To be happy, you don't have to do anything new. You just have to remember how to believe again...Believe everything good is possible. Believe in your dreams. Believe in people. Believe in love. But most of all...believe in yourself." The author, his wife, their family and extended family and friends never stopped believing in his wife's recovery, and I think, in themselves. Read this book and believe.

Paul A. RiecksNovember 4, 2013

This book is a must read for anyone with a family member with breast cancer. It takes you through the spouse's perspective from diagnosis to recovery. Mark journaled his wife's journey and put all of his emotions out there. It is beautifully written and inspiring to anyone going through breast cancer. Thank you, Mark for sharing Debbie's story.

Jmu1109October 23, 2013

A friend recommended this book. This was a great perspective of a man standing beside his partner and passing along to the reader fear, hope, useful information and a broader story than his own. I loved Vinnie the tattoo artist. This is a great book. Thanks for sharing, Mark and "thanks for caring"

Blahsan

This book is a must read. What sets this book apart from other books about surviving breast cancer is that it is told by the husband and his point of view, not from the survivor. At times sad, at times poignant but even through the worst of it you can always feel the love he has for his wife, her strength and the strength of their extended family and friends. The posts that are included from their friends and family lets you really into the heart and strength of the family. I would recommend this book to anyone who is currently going through this, whether you are the person or the caregiver. I also recommend this book to anyone who has a friend that has been or is currently going through their fight now. It was an eye opener for me.

L. BogashSeven Valleys, PA

There isn't a shortage of books about breast cancer, but most are written from the perspective of the person who has battled cancer or a physician or other expert. What an enlightening experience to read about breast cancer from a husband and caregiver's perspective! Not only does the author give us insight into his wife's experience and emotions, but he openly shares and reveals his love, compassion, support, and, yes, sometimes anger at the disease as he stands by his wife's side during their journey to beat the beast. Your story may not be the same, but I guarantee if you have a loved one battling cancer, you won't go wrong reading It Takes 2.

PattiMSeptember 25, 2013

From the moment I opened this book I never stopped reading. Mark invites the reader to come along on this journey that his family went through. I cried, laughed and learned so much. This book will give comfort and knowledge to those going through similar situations. Most importantly, Mark and his family never give up. They get knocked down and get right back up. They fought cancer together and with their strength, determination and will to prevail... They do!

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