Hull city council running “danish zoo” job cuts program

In a bid to save money and encourage inbreeding, it has been discovered that Hull is to cull around 450 workers over the next 2 years.

Council leader Steven Brady was asked how the policy works. “Suppose we have two workers doing the same job," he explains. "Both are useless, but we know that with a year or more's intensive training effort, we can make them work again. One of them is never going to work properly because they are not related to anyone important enough, but the other one is more connected. Because we just don't have that time and the money to invest in both of those sad creatures we euthanise the least related one.”

So, how many other workers are being eliminated by councils? We don’t really know. There is good reason to think it may be higher than the European Association of Councils estimates, because some councils are not always explicitly recording these figures, Whatever the number is, there are good reasons to assume it is probably growing.

"Twenty years ago workers didn't connect with people as well as they do today, so… automatically we run into these problems," says Mike Ross, Liberal Democrat councillor. “Now they have facebook and linkedin they can even connect without human contact”.

"We cannot just expand the council so what do we do with the surplus? and we made our decision."

There is evidence that a number of European breeding programmes for other workers are also going very well - perhaps too well.