Just today I received a Call into the Faith through the blessed disseminators of the gospel of the FSM at salon.com. Up to this point I've considered myself a Christian, albeit one who doesn't usually walk around with his head stuffed into the posterior regions...but I've been becoming increasingly distressed by ID-olaters posing as Christians trying to commandeer the laws, the Christian faith itself, and the public education of America for their own nefarious (and religious) purposes. In my growing unease and discomfort, I've been searching around for answers, and lo (!), the Answer appeared before me at salon.com, where for the first time, my Noodly Maker revealed himself unto me. I was flooded with epistemological Light and came to understand how ignorance of the Noodly Truth had darkened the minds of ID-eologues. I was filled with hope.

Immediately, however, my mind and heart presented me with a stumbling-block: I'm diabetic. There. I said it. The exhilaration I had just felt upon receiving the Truth fell from me and my heart became heavy. My shaman has told me that I must severely restrict my intake of Simple Carbly pleasures such as spaghetti. I'm sure you can understand that this places a vast abyss between me and the Divine Beneficence, and now I'm truly faced with a theodicy issue: How could, and why would, an All-Perfect being deliberately inflict upon one of his creations such a necessary distancing from Him? Has it been foreordained that I am not one of the Elect? Was I created merely as an object lesson for the Saved, as a demonstration of the anguish that awaits those who do not have an intimate relationship with Pasta Noster? Is there a way that I can come to him Just As I Am and be received without derision? I did not make myself this way, and feel that it is unjust that I should be denied communion with Him.

I hope that one of you who are stronger and older in the Faith can guide me through my confusion. To have received the Faith and then to have been so quickly assaulted with a faith crisis is disheartening.

Well, you could consider yourself one of the blessed. For the rest of us common mortals, the body of His Holy Noodleyness is basic sustenance. For you, it can truly be a sacrament. After all, Catholics make a special occasion of their communion, don't they? They don't just gobble up those wafers whenever they feel like something wheaty and crunchy.

Skeptical: Fear not for the meaty one has a plan for all his followers. We are all faced with hardships in this life, for some lust for the beasts of the plain, some hunger for the bottle (Of course I refer to skim milk for booze is acceptable and celebrated by the noodly one, for he has revealed to me thus), sadly you have been afflicted with a restrained ability to celebrate the great ones noodliness. But, there is hope!!!. As your brotheren and sisteren have shown. And now, I bring you a ray of light in the darkness you find yourself encapsuled in.

I, too, am a diabetic. I eat pasta. But not for breakfast.
Except that Lasagna has no more than an acceptable effect on my blood glucose level. So I sometimes eat that for breakfast.
It's all about rates of absorption for carbs.
Whole wheat spaghetti works fine. Lasagna works fine. Egg noodles work ok (use moderation).
Really only Lasagna works well for breakfast, other varieties are best enjoyed for lunch or dinner.

So you can enjoy Her Noodly Goodness with forethought and moderation.
And lots and lots of Garlic.

Laughing in the rain.
Dancing in the desert sand,
Somersaults through life.