Rants and rambles of a young, black, 20-something woman

Congraduation

In the weeks leading up to graduation, I found myself being alarmingly calm and almost unphased by the whole thing. Everyone around me was extremely excited and the girls were speaking about doing their nails and hair and what they were going to wear. My contribution to this conversation was a smile, an occassional laugh at the theatrics of it all and polite nodding. This happened until the day of graduation, mind you.

The day of graduation, I kind of HAD to get in the swing of things because, well, the day had arrived. I painted my nails a loud pink, curled my weave and did my make-up ‘extra nice’ that day. Still, I was not phased. I put my dress on, my heels and made my way to campus with my mom, older brother and sister-in-law. The car ride was pretty tense because, at this point in time, I was running late and frustrated.

We got to campus and walked to the venue and sorted out all the documentation needed for the much advertised stage photographs. I started to see my classmates and my mood lifted (just a tad though).

I then went to hire out my graduation gown where I bumped into one of my favourite people and my mood lifted just a tad higher. I got the gown and put it on….. My life changed in that moment.

For some reason, once I had the gown on, it all became really real and it dawned on me that I was graduating and what that really meant. All the sleepless nights; all the stress; all the anxiety suddenly became worth it.

In that moment I fully realized just how much I had achieved and how amazing and great a privilege it was for me to be wearing that gown and what it meant about me. I realized my strength and determination. There were many times where I wanted to throw in the towel but I hadn’t; also many times when I wanted to curl up in a ball and not have to face the world, but I picked myself up and kept soldiering on… And in that moment, I fully realized that it wasn’t all in vain.

Varsity is great.. It allows you to meet new people; grow up and either find or fully understand yourself. It also sucks… It shows you how easy it is to fail and knocks you down along the way but at the end of the day, it’s up to you to get back up and kick it in the face.

There’s no sweeter revenge than success and I got just a little taste that day and man oh man, was it amazing. The greatest part of all this, is that I get to do it aalll again next year when I graduate Honours… Hopefully Cum Laude this time.