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Your Body is a Canvas

I’m about to add to the artwork on my body again. I love tattoos. I feel that the body is just a blank canvas waiting to be filled with the journey of your life. It’s been quite a journey, and I’ve only begun to describe and share it.

My first tattoo was on my wrists. Why there? My wrists is where I first started to self harm with cutting, as I was already self harming in other ways before then. When I looked there, and hurt myself there, it was something I was in control of, gave me a strength in a way. So why not replace the bad with a good. Now I have a strength that shows something, shows hope. It also means a successful voyage. I guess after what I’ve been through, and what I’ve attempted, I’ve survived. I was successful at living so to speak.

Sparrows on Wrists

The next one to join the ranks is my upper back tattoo. What better place to have a quote about hope.That no matter how bad things get, there is a light, a hope, that things will get better. Ralph really had a way with words. Fist bump it boy.

Ralphy (Emerson) on my Back

So that leaves the one I got last. As you all know, I’ve been in my rabbit holes and now I’m at a tea party. To commemorate my favorite books, and my acceptance of my past, my imperfections, the mental health states I go through, I have a quote from Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland on the inside of of my arm. For honestly, I cannot, nor will I, go back to yesterday. I’m a far better person I think, for what I went through, and can share this with others.

I cannot go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.

So that leads to the newest bit I want to add. I have mental issues from PTSD due to rape. I deal with depression and anxiety on a daily basis. I’ve attempted suicide. I’ve planned other suicides as well as debate if I should. I have what the doctors told me is an addiction, self harming. Yes, an addiction, but I’ll write more on that later. So why this information? The simple reason is, I’m going to get a semicolon.

Why?

Because of a group I found. The Semicolon Project, not to be confused with a similar one, Project Semicolon (this unlinked one is faith-based group, which I’m not into, no offense anyone). As they state on their home page, “A Semicolon represents a sentence the author could have ended, but chose not to. That author is you and the sentence is your life.” I’ve chosen to not end my sentence when I could have, so I shall make the most of this second portion of my sentence.