He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? -Micah 6:8 KJVThey have shewed thee, O teen, what is good; and what doth the world require of thee, but to fit in, be wealthy, have good looks, and be rebellious? -Peer Pressure 1:1"I hate milk; it's like drinking vomit." -Edward Elric and me.

ClaecElric4God in regards to Wolfsong - You're the coolness scraped off the top of this morning's ice cream, after being pulled out of a beautiful summer day!

Thanks everyone! I really appreciate all your support and prayers it means a lot on days when I just want to throw in the towel! I've heard back from one of the therapists but she's pretty pricey. I'm hoping to make a consultation and possible be given more referrals. :/

yukoxholic wrote:Thank you K. Ayato and ClaecElric4God. You're both right. It's just this constant battle within me that's impacting my life. I'm angry and hurt. Logically, I agree with what you are both saying. It's sound, good sense but than the illogical side of myself just feels betrayed by my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ as well as God because I'm not Jesus I cannot forgive like He does and I just feel like I've been building up the scars by shutting everyone out. I know I've said this a lot but it's just complicated or maybe I just cannot let go because it's become a part of me. :/

Edit: Wow I just realized I responded to a SUPER old post from February. I'm reading all the wrong things. But I'll keep it up because it might still be relevant?

Honestly, I don't think it's always the best idea for someone to force themselves to forgive someone, especially when the hurt or grief is so fresh. Forcing yourself to forgive someone when you might just cause you to burrow and avoid your hurts, and even possibly feeling ashamed because you don't feel like you're able to do the "right thing".

If you're feeling angry or hurt, then let yourself feel angry or hurt. Notice those feelings and let them pass through you. Healing takes time. Don't force it. Forced healing isn't healing. The only way out is through.

yukoxholic wrote:I know I could post a new thread but I figure in case I want to divulge into details I'd rather it be in the right place. So, recently I've been trying to move from the past and have spent 2 years since trying therapy in order to heal. Unfortunately, I went through a slew of therapists who told me "they had expertise" when really they had no experience at all in what I needed to heal from. Now, it's Sunday and I've emailed more therapists and scoured the internet trying to find someone that can help me quit from looking backward but to rather move forward. I'm tired of hearing from family and friends to "just move on" because it's been 2 years. If it were that easy to deal with my trauma I would have moved forward by now. Please, I ask anyone who is willing to pray that I find the right therapist that can deal with trauma and help me to move on.

Some people just don't know how ignorant and hurtful their words can be. "Just move on" is probably one of the most insensitive things you can say to someone with a trauma background.

It can be hard finding the right "fit" for a therapist. So many different therapists come from different angles. Some want to dominate the conversation. Others will let you talk, and will chime in one simple question or statement that'll cause you to stop in your tracks and go "oh wow. I never saw it that way before". Different theoretical approaches for different people. And some people just aren't the best counselors. Heck, there are people in my own counseling program that I'm completely skeptical of towards their ability of being a helping professional.

I recently relapsed on a purity issue. Unlike most other times during a relapse, I'd really like to not binge this time, but keep trying instead and change my attitude in a positive way. I really don't want to despair and would like to repent. Send a prayer up for me, if you get a chance.

Yuki, I noticed your situation and want to offer a suggestion.I don't know if you're familiar with the idea of prayer/inner/spiritual healing, but it seems like it would help you greatly. It's like inviting the Holy Spirit into a counselling session, who knows us completely, and who is able to heal us too. The principles are pretty much outlined (by example) here: http://www.ransomedheart.com/prayer/pra ... er-healingHaving been through a couple (minor scale) sessions, I would highly recommend finding a good healing prayer ministry group if you can. (People are an almost endless stream of brokenness (pessimistically speaking), so I'm sure there's more I could do in time.) My church isn't big (maybe ~300-350 people each Sunday?), but we are fortunate enough to have a group of caring people who do that, for free. I know of a few other churches in my area that also do that. Not to discourage you, but it is a setting that can be abused in some sense (falsely assigning blame to a demonic source for instance), so it is important to find a good disciplined, integrity-filled, Spirit-filled, caring (etc etc) group of people. Unfortunately it's not really a certified practice in many cases, so it's hard to judge at a glance. However, the groups that I know of here I would recommend without hesitation, and I know they are caring and truth-seeking people. So it is possible.I don't know where you are, but I think the West Coast tends to have Elijah House Ministry in that area (with whom a few of the groups I know are affiliated). I wouldn't know really how to search for it if I moved to a different area, but trying googling associated terms with your area. I hope it's easy enough!http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inner_Healing_Movement

Mullet Death, praying for you. It's not just a matter of "trying harder" - because if it's just in our strength, it'll inevitably fail. On the other hand, it's not something we abdicate responsibility for. From a bigger perspective, you might find this book useful. (There's probably others that are more specific to purity or temptation too.)http://www.amazon.com/The-Pursuit-Holin ... 157683932X

W4C I know you mean well, but practically that might not be the best advice unless you mean all of this adjunctly to individual counseling. Don't get me wrong, I am all for fulfilling spiritual needs and finding healing in fellowship. However, if she's dealing with some sort of complex trauma then she needs very specialized care where safety and trust with a client can be established. You could find that in a group counseling setting, but only if it's a very specialized kind of group counseling (e.g. veterans with PTSD group) with very skilled group leaders due to how delicate the subject matter is. You never know when someone's well-intentioned words can damage or be trigger another person. If that happens you need someone with training or expertise to work through those stages of group settings. So it's best not to always expect someone with a trauma history to share their experiences in a group setting if it is not something that has been really dealt with. I'm all for prayer groups but they ought to supplement a counseling relationship on the side to fulfill other important needs, but it's not where the psychotherapeutic work itself can best take place.

Mr. SmartyPants wrote:W4C I know you mean well, but practically that might not be the best advice unless you mean all of this adjunctly to individual counseling. Don't get me wrong, I am all for fulfilling spiritual needs and finding healing in fellowship. However, if she's dealing with some sort of complex trauma then she needs very specialized care where safety and trust with a client can be established. You could find that in a group counseling setting, but only if it's a very specialized kind of group counseling (e.g. veterans with PTSD group) with very skilled group leaders due to how delicate the subject matter is. You never know when someone's well-intentioned words can damage or be trigger another person. If that happens you need someone with training or expertise to work through those stages of group settings. So it's best not to always expect someone with a trauma history to share their experiences in a group setting if it is not something that has been really dealt with. I'm all for prayer groups but they ought to supplement a counseling relationship on the side to fulfill other important needs, but it's not where the psychotherapeutic work itself can best take place.

Thanks for your extra concern there MSP. I meant "group" as in group of people who provide the prayer ministry. The sessions would surely just have the one client at a time, and may have one, two, three.. prayer ministers present. So it's not so much about fellowship - it's about healing. If it's resolved in one session, then great. But there might be two, three, or more sessions of healing over which to develop safety and trust with the client. You could argue that it's with the most qualified Counsellor - Holy Spirit. If you think you might benefit from some traditional psychotherapy as well, then sure, do both. That's up to you. However, I have heard of all kinds of trauma and woundings being healed with this method. Not that failures are often publicised, but I haven't really heard of a case where the client didn't experience some kind of healing. And I'm sure their willingness is a factor too.Disclaimer: This describes the kind of groups I'm familiar with, and there might exist some other variants which might do things weirdly, or in groups, or whatever, but I'm not familiar with them.

Talking about certain things with more than one individual can be intimidating or even harmful in some situations.

You could argue that it's with the most qualified Counsellor - Holy Spirit.

You could but now we're in the Christian Science movement where hey, don't go to a doctor if you break your leg, just pray really hard because really God is the greatest doctor.

Which isn't to slam the Christian group counseling but just to say you actually really do need professional help and if you wanna pray or go to faith healers even that's fine but make sure you're doing it in addition to actual medical attention and not in lieu of it.

Nate wrote:Talking about certain things with more than one individual can be intimidating or even harmful in some situations.

I'm sure they wouldn't force you to have three other people in the room if you only wanted one. It's your session! They want you to be comfortable.

Nate wrote:You could but now we're in the Christian Science movement where hey, don't go to a doctor if you break your leg, just pray really hard because really God is the greatest doctor.

Haha, please don't attach that label!Not sure if you're denying the workings of the Spirit, but if you pray and some are healed, then sure, what harm is there in trying? If doctors say "this boy will never walk again", and then God does heal him to full abilities in his legs, then is it wrong to say "God is the greatest doctor"?Anyway, this is off topic.

Nate wrote:Which isn't to slam the Christian group counseling but just to say you actually really do need professional help and if you wanna pray or go to faith healers even that's fine but make sure you're doing it in addition to actual medical attention and not in lieu of it.

Warrior4Christ wrote:If you think you might benefit from some traditional psychotherapy as well, then sure, do both. That's up to you.

GeneD wrote:A colleague of mine was raped in December and her blood tests came back HIV positive. She's getting re-tested though. Please pray for her and her family. The, for the lack of words I can't say on CAA, man is on trial so please pray that justice will be done and he'll be found guilty.

A happy update, and not one I was expecting to get; the sad excuse for a human being who raped her was found guilty on all charges and received a maximum sentence. My faith in our justice system has definitely taken a step up. Thanks for everyone's prayers and please continue to pray that my friend and her family are able to keep moving forward from this closure.

I don't know what broke to make you like this, but I must be broken too if I'm standing here praising your destructiveness. -Rock (Black Lagoon)

As I had encountered kindness, I wanted to be kind myself. -Takashi Natsume (Natsume's Book of Friends)

GeneD wrote: A happy update, and not one I was expecting to get; the sad excuse for a human being who raped her was found guilty on all charges and received a maximum sentence. My faith in our justice system has definitely taken a step up. Thanks for everyone's prayers and please continue to pray that my friend and her family are able to keep moving forward from this closure.

Let get something clear, I believe rapists who die in their sin have a special place in hell, and it's probably not my place to say, but as long as that man is alive someone has to go and tell him that he's loved, and that God will forgive him if he accepts him as his savior. Food for thought.

Captain Miller: You see, when... when you end up killing one of your men, you see, you tell yourself it happened so you could save the lives of two or three or ten others. Maybe a hundred others. Do you know how many men I've lost under my command?

Sergeant Horvath: How many?

Captain Miller: Ninety-four. But that means I've saved the lives of ten times that many, doesn't it? Maybe even 20, right? Twenty times as many? And that's how simple it is. That's how you... that's how you rationalize making the choice between the mission and the man.

He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? -Micah 6:8 KJVThey have shewed thee, O teen, what is good; and what doth the world require of thee, but to fit in, be wealthy, have good looks, and be rebellious? -Peer Pressure 1:1"I hate milk; it's like drinking vomit." -Edward Elric and me.

ClaecElric4God in regards to Wolfsong - You're the coolness scraped off the top of this morning's ice cream, after being pulled out of a beautiful summer day!

peachmlplover wrote:but as long as that man is alive someone has to go and tell him that he's loved, and that God will forgive him if he accepts him as his savior.

You say this as if it is impossible for a Christian to commit rape.

I also fail to see how this is in any way relevant whatsoever to Gene's post. She is glad that a criminal was convicted for the crime they committed, I didn't see her say anything about wanting the guy to go to Hell or even that he deserves worse. She said she was happy that our justice system got it right; I don't see why your post was made, whether you have a point or not.

A coworker of my mom's recently found out that she was expecting. She tried to keep the circle (at her job) small (with my mom, and by default me, included) until after getting back from the Christmas break when she'd finally make "the announcement" to everyone. However, she just found out that she lost the baby.

He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? -Micah 6:8 KJVThey have shewed thee, O teen, what is good; and what doth the world require of thee, but to fit in, be wealthy, have good looks, and be rebellious? -Peer Pressure 1:1"I hate milk; it's like drinking vomit." -Edward Elric and me.

ClaecElric4God in regards to Wolfsong - You're the coolness scraped off the top of this morning's ice cream, after being pulled out of a beautiful summer day!

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

"Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth's rotation has been fueled, primarily, by the collective spinning of English teachers in their graves."

I love this website and the people on it. A lot went into why I left, a lot was going on in my life at the time (as will be explained here). It is indeed amazing how much time has passed so quickly since I first made an account here. And now I’ve come back to ask for prayer.

My struggle is two-fold: I have a pornography addiction and I grapple with sexual identity issues, more plainly, transgender issues. Most plainly, I struggle with the desire to be female. “Autogynephilia,” is the perhaps most technical term, if you want look it up, but not even that describes the entirety of my condition.

Few people know what it’s like, to pray to God one moment, asking Him to transform you into a girl, and then the next to beg Him to take such feelings and desires away, only to then switch back to the previous prayer again the next moment. I did this often throughout my childhood. I wasn’t sure if, should I have died then, if I would be better off as either male or female in heaven.

I didn’t choose this. The desires came on their own. I remember when I first used google to look up something I shouldn’t have. “Innocently,’ not knowing quite what it was I was looking for. I also remember a little nudge in my ‘heart,’ something which I now hold to be the Holy Spirit, something which told me to stay away. I didn’t listen. And then one problem became two. Since I was twelve this sin has been with me, ever growing, ever taking little pieces of my life, bits that I, with a torn heart, gave partially willingly. I do that which I do not wish to do.

Fast-forward, I’m an adult, making my way through college with a part-time job as a janitor at a church. Almost weekly, clothes are misplaced and it’s part of my job to put them in the lost-and-found. Long hours of no other else being around…

I quit. Too much temptation. But less time out of ‘real life’ means more time that can be spent in ‘internet life…’ more time spent in the late hours of night to look at something I shouldn’t. It gets difficult to get up in the morning… It’s okay to miss just one class… nothing happened before, it’s okay to miss a second time… when was the last time I went to class? …Back to the computer, block out your problems.

Pornography addiction is real. It destroys lives. And what’s worse is its ability to creep itself into the lives of people who think they know better. As child, as a twelve-year-old, I tried to avoid anything sexual. I didn’t make the connection that what I was looking at was the same thing.

I sought to immerse myself into church culture; to surround myself with Christians. But I neither had a job nor was taking college classes. I had become a walking stereotype that I hated. But nothing seemed to come together. Time passed on, and I struggled with the same problems. I refused to tell my family why, and they were desperate to do something to “fix” me. Hoping that it would motivate me to do something, they kicked me out, and I spent a night homeless, sleeping in my car.

I drove to a church. It’s now my church, but only recently had I decided to attend it instead of others. I waited for the morning, for the pastor to come, to tell him my story. He would become the first person I had told everything to. He convinced my family to let me stay, so long as I quickly found another job, which I did. And since then, I’ve managed to get an even better job. I’ll start classes again in the spring.

My addiction isn’t beat. Neither are my identity issues. Quite frankly, of the latter, I wouldn’t be surprised if I’ll never be completely free of it until the day I die. But don’t confuse my realism for lack of optimism. I will win. This sin is dead. I will live this life. I do not know why God created me the way He did. I do not know why I am tempted the way I am, no more than I can answer the question of why God put that darn tree in the garden.

Many transgenders feel they have either the brains and/or souls of the opposite sex, and that God may have made a mistake. Scientifically, the brain is sometimes confirmed (depending on who it is). Whether-or-not souls are tailored for particular genders is a mystery beyond me. But I know God made no mistake. I am a man, God made me so, and I know, without the slightest doubt, that this is how I should be. My heart just sometimes wishes it wasn’t so.

I can’t find myself to completely and totally critique those who transition. I know the feelings they feel, I know how it can seem like transitioning is the only thing that will make things better. I know what it’s like to be constantly aware that you’re not like everyone else. Many transgenders commit suicide, with or without transitioning. They stock up so much on this hope that transitioning will make everything better, and when it doesn’t, or when more problems come with it, they give up completely.

But I still think it’s wrong to refuse to call one by their preferred name. Unlike us, they have stripped down their identity to their sexuality. Take that from them, and you only shame them, adding on to the humiliation they already face; the rejections from their family, the ostracization they face from the community at large. As Christians, we’re to love God, love others, and do what we can to lead others to Him. Why do we spend so much time arguing over the gender of person, rather then just rejoicing at another soul won? Let God sort who is what.

I walk my path, as a man, because the Holy Spirit led me so. But why should someone who doesn’t have the Holy Spirit not do as they would? What of those who have already transitioned, before being saved? What of those who are saved, but the Holy Spirit does not press upon them as He has me? I do not condone sin. I only say the truth: Prejudice, not righteousness, motivates society’s view of transgenders. Why do we not treat homosexuals and transgenders the same as drunks and those who have sex prior to marriage, or those who divorce without just cause? What about those who show partiality, or have no control over their tempers? Because some are ‘respectable sins’ and the others aren’t.

I came here to ask for prayer. So I ask for it. Please, ask God to give me strength. Please, let me have the will to say “no.” Please, pray for me to no longer desire that which I hate. Pray for God to give me the power to put all of this to death, and to restart the life I should be living. Thank-you.

Last edited by John_Smith on Sun Nov 15, 2015 1:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

One website that is helpful re: the issue of pornography is the XXXChurch site. There are a lot of resources available there to help.

Last edited by Sheenar on Mon Nov 09, 2015 7:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

"Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth's rotation has been fueled, primarily, by the collective spinning of English teachers in their graves."

John_Smith wrote:But I know God made no mistake. I am a man, God made me so, and I know, without the slightest doubt, that this is how I should be.

Okay, I've been thinking a lot about if I should respond to this post, as I'm not trying to start debate and I know this thread is mainly for prayer, but the more I thought about it the more I felt compelled to respond, so I will do so but I will try to keep it brief and I won't do it for the purposes of debate. So here goes. *cracks knuckles*

People are born with all kinds of conditions, diseases, disorders, and defects. People are born with Down's Syndrome, extra fingers, webbed digits, messed up hands, hip dysplasia, cojoined twins, extra sex organs, so on, so forth.

If you can accept that there are many different ways in which a person can just be plain old born different, then it's a pretty short hop to accepting that a person can be born with a man's body and a lady's brain (or a lady's body and a man's brain). Something like 0.1% to 1% of humans are born intersexed, and genitals are way harder to screw up than something as complicated as a human brain.

I don't think it's right to frame gender dysphoria as God "making a mistake" any more than a child born with Down's was a "mistake" or that Ernie Defort and his "brother" were a "mistake" (Ernie Defort was born with a parasitic twin attached to his chest, there was no head, but it was a fully functioning body with developed arms and legs and even liver and kidneys). Most Christians believe we live in a "sin-cursed" world and that as such, the world is imperfect and messed up without God actively having a hand in it. In this sense, a brain that is "programmed" to be female in a male body isn't God screwing up, it's a result of living in a fallen world and I don't see any problem with accepting that the fallen nature of the world has caused this sort of thing to happen.

Now. All that said, if you feel this is something you have to overcome, I'm not going to tell you otherwise. You have every right to deal with this in the manner you so choose, and I wish you well in your decisions. I would however like to say that I don't think you should throw out the idea of transitioning purely because you think it would be "wrong" or because you feel it would imply that God "made a mistake." If you believe you can get through this without transitioning, hey, more power to you. I know many transgender individuals who have chosen not to transition for one reason or another. If you feel transitioning is not necessary, then that's that, but I will say I do believe you should consider it if the only reason you're against it is because you think it would be saying "God messed up." It's a medical procedure that may help you, and I don't think you should feel bad about it, any more than a person who is born with six fingers on their hands should feel bad about getting surgery to remove them (okay, sorta bad example, as the parents will probably have that surgery done while they're still an infant, still you get what I'm saying I hope).

That said, I won't try and convince you further, as my purpose isn't to debate, and wish you well in whatever decision you make.

Thank-you Sheenar and Mave for your prayers. I will take as many as I can get. I haven’t looked at the website yet but I will.

There’s one other individual (other than my pastor) who I have told about my predicament. I think at some time this week I’m going to reach out to him to see if we can’t get one of those anti-porn things set up on my computer. That being said I’m fairly good with computers and I’m currently astounded by just how many devices I have that can connect to the internet. Ultimately I guess it will simply be an added precaution, not a kill all.

Writing the simple the statement: “I have a pornography addiction,” is more difficult than writing about my gender dysphoria, and admitting, in any form, about a need for a block on my computer is flat-out excruciating. I still have a feeling of, ‘it’s not fair!’ sounding in my head, because of how I ignorantly (but no less sinfully) trampled into the actual the sort of behavior I thought I was avoiding as a child. Now, the very idea that I have so little control of my actions as to need the intervention of another being is… excruciating. And as I continue to piece back together my life, I have an urgency to do everything I can to kill this addiction now, lest it destroy the life I’m living now like I let it before.

Nate wrote:Okay, I've been thinking a lot about if I should respond to this post, as I'm not trying to start debate and I know this thread is mainly for prayer, but the more I thought about it the more I felt compelled to respond, so I will do so but I will try to keep it brief and I won't do it for the purposes of debate. So here goes. *cracks knuckles*

Thank-you for posting and being so polite about it. I believe firmly in the power of conversation. Too many things can be learned and gleaned from it for silence to grow.

But this topic is even more consequential to me. For most, this is a political issue. Certainly many (as you have mentioned) may have friends or know someone who identifies as transgender. Nonetheless, this is still a topic usually discussed next to ones about the debt ceiling and global warming as you pass the gravy. But for me, this is life. I’ve lived this. 24/7. Endless time for endless rumination, looking for any rational solution to my dilemma. Moreover, this isn’t just my life, this is my testimony. I need to know how to discuss this with people civilly, despite it being akin to walking into a room filled with gunpowder while carrying a torch. Most of all, I want to become more courageous in sharing this. I want people to know it’s more complicated than they think. I want them to know it’s not about ‘liberal,’ or ‘conservative,’ but somewhere in a convoluted middle. I want people to believe it’s possible to show the love of Jesus in greater abundance without condoning sin. I think many people say, “Love the sinner, hate the sin,” but few practice it.

Nate wrote:People are born with all kinds of conditions, diseases, disorders, and defects. People are born with Down's Syndrome, extra fingers, webbed digits, messed up hands, hip dysplasia, cojoined twins, extra sex organs, so on, so forth.

If you can accept that there are many different ways in which a person can just be plain old born different, then it's a pretty short hop to accepting that a person can be born with a man's body and a lady's brain (or a lady's body and a man's brain). Something like 0.1% to 1% of humans are born intersexed, and genitals are way harder to screw up than something as complicated as a human brain.

I don't think it's right to frame gender dysphoria as God "making a mistake" any more than a child born with Down's was a "mistake" or that Ernie Defort and his "brother" were a "mistake" (Ernie Defort was born with a parasitic twin attached to his chest, there was no head, but it was a fully functioning body with developed arms and legs and even liver and kidneys). Most Christians believe we live in a "sin-cursed" world and that as such, the world is imperfect and messed up without God actively having a hand in it. In this sense, a brain that is "programmed" to be female in a male body isn't God screwing up, it's a result of living in a fallen world and I don't see any problem with accepting that the fallen nature of the world has caused this sort of thing to happen.

I don't disagree with any of this. I’ve actually heard this point before, and consider it sound. I wasn’t clear enough before. If I am an atypical transgender*, born with a female brain, then this dichotomy is indeed the result of a fallen world. However, it was a dichotomy He chose to allow. Then just as God has a plan for those born without limbs or who are blind or with Down’s Syndrome; so does God have a plan for me. This plan so happens to involve me remaining a man. I know this deeply and sincerely.

There have been times where I convinced myself that there was nothing wrong with what I was doing or what I wanted. I ‘logically,’ convinced myself of that. But if that were the case, then I should have been able to live a healthy spiritual life with my other pursuit. That never happened. It simply wouldn’t. I could never pray or read the Bible or listen to a sermon without knowing that my life was off course.

I prayed many times: “God, is this really wrong? Please tell me.” The answer was the same every time, even if I didn’t like it. How long shall I play the part of Gideon?

Nate wrote:Now. All that said, if you feel this is something you have to overcome, I'm not going to tell you otherwise. You have every right to deal with this in the manner you so choose, and I wish you well in your decisions. I would however like to say that I don't think you should throw out the idea of transitioning purely because you think it would be "wrong" or because you feel it would imply that God "made a mistake." If you believe you can get through this without transitioning, hey, more power to you. I know many transgender individuals who have chosen not to transition for one reason or another. If you feel transitioning is not necessary, then that's that, but I will say I do believe you should consider it if the only reason you're against it is because you think it would be saying "God messed up." It's a medical procedure that may help you, and I don't think you should feel bad about it, any more than a person who is born with six fingers on their hands should feel bad about getting surgery to remove them (okay, sorta bad example, as the parents will probably have that surgery done while they're still an infant, still you get what I'm saying I hope).That said, I won't try and convince you further, as my purpose isn't to debate, and wish you well in whatever decision you makemade.

Thank-you again for being so respectful and caring enough to return and post.

*I do not know if it is right to apply the word ‘atypical’ to any transgender at all. I know some use the No True Scotsman argument against those of us you use the term autogynephilia, even if politely. Because of this, I have thought to myself occasionally that ‘transgender’ doesn’t actually apply to me. However… I’ve considered surgery before, I’ve spent endless hours imagining my life if I was a woman, and I’ve even been desperate enough to take estrogen (for a short time). If that doesn’t fit the description of a transgender, what does? Regardless, I do not feel comfortable declaring definitively for myself that I was born with a female brain (though I readily believe this is the case for others). Furthermore, I know clearly these were not desires I ever decided to have either.

Thank-you to everyone for your prayers and those who gave wrote to me. I’m a little dumbstruck as to what more to say. I want to say more. This is such a unique position for me, because I’m really desperate for prayer, and I’m very much interested in more advice; but I also feel like I have a lot to teach on this subject, if that makes any sense.

Please continue your prayers. And please do not hesitate to post or pm me. Thank-you again.