Inside the Huff Melon

Thanksgiving is a day of dead turkeys, can shaped cranberry goo, and declarations of gratitude. I'm thankful for many things but I would like to focus my praise towards plus size retailers. Why thank these businesses? Because this is a blog and blogs are for shallow ramblings. Also, I am plus sized. These folks keep me clothed.

I am a gal who owns a thick pair of thighs and those thighs touch year round. When I attempt to try on pants at the average American retail chain I tend to "Hulk Out" (emotions + denim = HUFF SMASH). I appreciate that plus friendly emporiums keep me in "Bruce Banner" mode. Without said emporiums I would slap fitting room clerks in their smiling faces. Plus size institutions keep me clothed and out of prison. I'm grateful for: Modcloth, ShopRouche, Igigi, Unique Vintage, Lane Bryant, ASOS, and Schwartz's Intimate Appeal. I dig you. Thank you for existing. Truly. Thanks. My heart is filled with appreciation. I believe in you and I will spend my very tiny income at your businesses. Yahoo!But wait, that's not all. If spending time with my family during Thanksgiving has taught me anything it's that after a warm helping of thanks comes a spicy serving of unsolicited advice. A thank you....BUUUUTTT. Thanks with suggestions for improvement. I call these treats, Thankgestions. (The word Thankgestion is boldly printed on the Huff Family Crest along with a can of Old Milwaukee and a crushing cloak of bitterness. All hail to the the Huff Crest.) A general Thankgestion for all plus size stores ; we want clothes, not costumes. We don't need big patterns, quirky slogans printed across our chests, bombshell gear, giant bedazzled embellishments, or gold belts (Why are there so many gold belts on everything?!) Please remember purchasing jeans and a t-shirt can be a bit tricky. Basics. We want em'. I put my specific store Thankgestions in list form. With pictures. Because this is a blog.

ModClothI love this site but I've been told I dress like a clown substituting a preschool class. Their stuff is super quirky and filled with fun bows, cartoons and polka dots. I don't want to look like an adult; however, some plus size folks might want the option.

ASOSHey you delightful Brits, across the pond maternity wear and plus size clothing are two different things. You make great TV shows and when you talk my ears smile so you are forgiven.

Unique VintageIf you're plus size and planning your Quinceanera this is the site for you. It also rocks a ton of pin up looks; however, there are over 300 plus size options and this is the model for most of them. Toss plus size models some work, eh? We would like to know what the clothing looks like in the actual size.

IgigiThese are some sexy gals. Total bombshells but totes pricey. It's hard to find anything under $100. I supposed the argument is that you have to toss down some serious cash to feel fantastic but broke folks want to feel hot too. Also, sexy is great but there is a push to make ALL plus size clothing super sexy. Sometimes we just need to get dressed and walk to the post office.

Lane BryantThis joint does have some pretty solid basics but they also have a fair amount of over the top granny moo moo prints. <--- What the what?! I also really dig their humble beginnings. It's almost as moving as those mice in American Tail.

Schwartz'sNo feedback. I am way too terrified of every old lady who works there. You're all great. Please do not punch me in the boob.

Take it or leave it, retailers. I'm still going to buy your frocks because I love what you do for the plus size folks and because I'm shallow. Just like blogs.