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In spite of recent setbacks, 2013 has been a very productive year for me. To celebrate this, I decided to make a small EP with a selection of songs that I have written and/or recorded during the course of the last twelve months, and what better time to release it than New Year's Eve? Here's to a brilliant and productive 2014! I wonder what it will bring...

While most of these songs are available for streaming and download for free on my Soundcloud, the brand new recording of The Pen is not, the mix for Pages in a Book has been adjusted and I've made some fixed to Amanda Palmer's Tits as well.

Thanks to Morten for putting up with me, Leo for believing in me, and Amanda Fucking Palmer for helping me believe in myself.

Happy New Year!

credits

released December 31, 2013

All music, lyrics, vocals, instruments, mixing and artwork by Maia Jern. Recorded in Kungälv and Oslo over the course of the year 2013.

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Look, we’re all so modern
Everyone’s so liberal and
Quirky and so open-minded
And shocking! It’s so shocking
To see pop stars take their clothes off
And use curse words in their songs

And never mind that 20 years ago, Madonna did it first
You can’t show your face in church
But Lady Gaga’s meat-dress doesn’t shock you half as much
As Amanda Palmer’s tits and furry pits

Look, we’re all so tolerant
Of violence in movies
Baby, look what we are proving
But it’s shocking, oh so shocking
When they have sex on camera
You’d think this was America

And never mind that 25 years ago, Almodóvar did it first
You can’t show yourself in church
And that sex scene in Brokeback Mountain doesn’t shock you half as much
As Amanda Palmer’s tits and furry pits

Look, we’re all so angry
About the state of the media
We have a million complaints between us
But it’s shocking, oh so shocking
How Celebrity A got a DUI
And Celebrity B laid down and died

And never mind that 40-odd years ago, Janis Joplin did it first
You can’t show your face in church
But the death of Amy Winehouse didn’t shock you half as much
As Amanda Palmer’s tits and furry pits

Look, we’re all so carefree
We can joke about the government
And rape, and self-entitlement
But it’s shocking, oh so shocking
How those fuckers try to force us into
Health care plans and servitude

And never mind that many decades ago, all the rest of the world did it first
You can’t show yourself in church
But Obama’s plans and policies don’t shock you half as much
As Amanda Palmer’s tits and furry pits

And never mind that on this planet millions are dying every day
You don’t believe that anyway
And rocket strikes on the Gaza strip don’t shock you half as much
As Amanda Palmer’s tits and furry pits

Track Name: Witness

Your mouth is open but your mind is closed
You're hearing voices and you're seeing ghosts
Better see to that before your sense flies out
An unused brain's nothing to brag about

You run to Him to nurse your broken heart
Meanwhile your life is falling apart
Your bones are broken and you burn from within
But you don't have to crawl right out of your old skin

Save me, Jehovah!

You're leaving all of your friends behind
Leaving us thinking you're out of your mind
And in your psychosis you think you've found peace
But I don't think you even know what that means

Save me, Jehovah!

Everything you knew
Now it turns on you
I pray that you'll wake up
And see just what you are willing to give up

You used to say there was no heaven or hell
For a long time you were doing well
You're deceiving yourself, denying what's inside
What will you do when your whole life is a lie?

You've locked yourself away, hiding in the dark
In all your confusion you're missing the mark
If you pull this off you'll be one of them
It's as if you've died, cause we won't see you again

Save me, Jehovah!

Track Name: Lemonade

He said,
'You're not pretty, but there's something about you
that makes you really attractive
and I don't know what it is.'
And I said, 'Wow, that's the nicest un-compliment
I've ever received,
and did you think of it yourself?'

And I think sometimes when life gives you lemons
It's best to squirt them in people's eyes
And though the summer nights are warm and pleasant
It's really not enough to get you by
Then all you can do is try

He said,
'I really love how you don't care how you look
or how you act, and whether it makes you ugly or not.'
And I just stood there, not sure what to think
And was I being trolled, or was he honest and sincere?

And I think sometimes when life gives you lemons
It's best to squirt them in people's eyes
And though the summer nights are warm and pleasant
It's really not enough to get you by
Then all you can do is cry

Welcome to the real world
Welcome to the real world
Welcome to the real world
There must be some kind of mistake
There must be some kind of mistake

He said,
'If you weren't such a bitch I think I'd be in danger of falling in love with you.
But as it is, what do you say we go fuck?'
And I thought for a minute and I said,
'Okay.'

And I think sometimes when life gives you lemons
It's best to squirt them in people's eyes
And though the summer nights are warm and pleasant
It's really not enough to get you by
And so you stick your insecurities in a box
And you don't open it until the day you die
So you can say that you're happy with the live you chose
And your smile won't be a lie
Then all you can do is die

Welcome to the real world
Welcome to the real world
Welcome to the real world
There must be some kind of mistake
There must be some kind of mistake
There must be some kind of mistake

Track Name: The Pen

When Hemingway first took me in his hand
I felt a spark and it was magnificent
He picked me up and he began to write
He infused me with words and poetry

He let me tell the stories that he felt
And I was an extension of his being
The joy that filled me then I can't describe
But then the shadow fell
Then the shadow fell

Never again
Never again will I be
In his hand, will I be
In his hand

When Hemingway laid me down to rest
For the last time, I didn't realise
He put me in my box and I grew still
Just waiting, i lay there waiting

For many days I lay there and I thought
He'll return soon, he'll take me out and use me
I knew no evil then, I knew no fear
But then the shadow fell
Then the shadow fell

Never again
Never again will I be
In his hand, will I be
In his hand

I should have seen, I should have known
After all I was a part of him
But in the beauty that he wrote
His own darkness remained a mystery

So when I heard the cracking thunder sound
I really didn't comprehend its meaning
then I discerned the voices and the shouts
And then the shadow fell
Then the shadow fell