Ouch! I could feel the pain of the fall through our television screen. Gymnast Nastia Liukin was performing her routine on the uneven bars when she was unable to grab one of the bars on one of her maneuvers and fell onto the mat below her. If she had landed on her legs, I don't think it would have looked so bad. But she fell flat on the mat, kind of like the way you would if you belly flopped into a pool. Her head recoiled back, her body took the brunt of the fall and we could hear the collective gasp of the crowd, even through our hopelessly outdated TV speakers. Kacy and I gasped too and immediately felt so bad and devastated for her. You see, this all happened just a few weeks ago at the U.S. Olympic trials and it was clear that Nastia Liukin's dream of going to the 2012 Olympic Games were over. What makes the story even more poignant is that in 2008 Liukin was the Olympic gold medalist in the women’s all around competition. She had the experience of standing on the top of the medal platform, listening to the “Star Spangled Banner” being played, in her honor, while an Olympic gold medal hung around her neck. She heard the cheers and cried the tears of joy. She came home a champion and immediately became one of “America’s sweethearts.” Nastia seemed everywhere; on commercials, photo shoots, magazine ads and television interviews. But on this night in 2012, as she lay on the mat after the fall, all of that seemed so far way as Nastia was not going to make the Olympic team. Yet she got up, put some chalk on her hands, was lifted back up to the bars and continued her routine. She finished it, stuck the landing and heard the cheers, again, of the thousands of fans in attendance. Everyone knew she wasn't going to the Olympics, but everyone knew she was a champion. Not only because of the gold medal she won in 2008 but because she got up one more time. Even in the face of adversity she got up and finished what she had started. And that’s tough to do isn't it? I know I have not gotten back onto the mat far too many times than I’d like to admit in my life and career. Sometimes, I never even suited up to compete; telling myself that all of the reasons why I wasn't going to get into the game were valid. And I always kicked myself for the times I walked away. I applaud Nastia for the fact that she was an Olympic gold medalist. But I think the bigger testament to her character is that she got back up after she fell and she pressed on towards the prize.Now it’s your turn! Did you have a moment in your life when you “fell off the mat” and had to choose between pressing on or giving up? Please comment below!

Over the past day or so I've been having a spirited discussion about politics with one of my friends on Facebook. He didn't agree with my opinions at all and I didn't really agree with his; which was fine to me! In fact, I mentioned in a few posts to him that I enjoyed the conversation and the back and forth even if we disagreed. We go back a long way and I respect his opinion and point of view.Then one of his friends commented directly at me. You see where this is going? Essentially, my friend's friend (I'll call him Joe) wrote a detailed post explaining why he disagreed with my comments. The fact that he disagreed with me is not the issue; after all, whenever anyone expresses a political view up to half the population is going to think he is wrong! Here is the issue that I had; Joe ended his post to me with this comment, "And because I tire of writing posts to the misinformed and ignorant, wouldn't it be nice to learn about things for yourself (?)" He then thoughtfully (sarcasm intended) included a link to a website so I could check my “facts.” Here are some questions that came up in my mind:

Who is this guy? I've never met him before and have no idea who he is!

Why did he choose to say what he did and the manner in which he said it?

Did he really think that saying I was “misinformed and ignorant” would motivate me to consider his point of view, or visit the website he gave me a link for?

What happened to civility and humility, even in disagreement?

I wanted to fire back at him so bad, I really did! I actually started writing a few versions of a cutting, witty and devastating response. But I didn't want this to continue. I have respect for my friend, whose original post started it all, and I didn't want to get into an extended shouting match with one of his friends. So, I just decided to write a simple, “Thanks for educating me. I didn’t know I was so ignorant and misinformed.” In retrospect, I probably should have just let it go really and not responded back. But at the very least, it gave me an idea for this blog! Now I would love to hear from you! Please join in the conversation and respond in the comments below.What kinds of things have you done (both good and bad) when faced with similar circumstances? Was I just being too sensitive and this is just normal in today’s social media driven world? How do you communicate with someone who disagrees with your point of view?

I had the pleasure of meeting up with my old friend Clement a few weeks ago. We first met when we were four years old, in pre-school, and have remained friends ever since. But, I hadn't seen him in about seven years, since we now live in different states; although we do keep in touch consistently. And quite frankly, I've missed being able to hang out, play ball and just spend time with him.Is there anything quite as comfortable, powerful and as needed as great friendships in our lives? We chose to watch a baseball game in San Diego. The picture above is of us on the concourse behind the outfield fence (I'm on the left.) His favorite team was playing the Padres and we thought a baseball game would be the ideal way for us to have a good time and get caught up on our lives. As soon as I saw him, it was like nothing had changed. As weird as it was to be hanging with him, it also seemed perfectly natural, like my time away had never happened. And it felt good! When we went to grab dinner, he offered to pay. I tried to refuse and insist that I buy dinner. He didn't see it that way. I guess he felt that since I had a long drive to get to the game, the least he could do was buy dinner. As for me, I felt that since he bought my tickets to the game, the least I could do was buy him dinner. I didn't think of my drive to San Diego as a big deal, since I would have driven hours to have been able to hang out with Clement. Isn't that how it is in relationships we really value? Everyone is more concerned about what they give into it, instead of worrying about what you're getting out of it. And in turn, even when you're giving, you get above and beyond what you put into it. The same holds true in our professional lives too, doesn't it? In a world where we measure success by the titles we have, the money we earn, the positions we hold, and the initials after our names-perhaps we shouldn't forget that our success is often based on and includes the relationships we've created and developed along the way.

If you want to be a good leader, develop good relationships with the people you lead.

If you’d like to close more sales, focus less on “hard closing” the deal and more on finding what your customers really want and giving it to them.

If you want the large corner office and the fancy title, you need to start now to cultivate the relationships you’ll need to move forward.

Now it’s your turn! Who are you most thankful for in your life? Who were the influential people in your career that helped you get to where you are? Are you the one investing or withdrawing in the people around you?I invite you to comment below!

I believe most of us have played a slot machine in a casino. The front of the machine details what the machine will pay out depending on the amount of credits you play. Obviously, the more credits you play, the higher the payout if the machine wins. Let’s say that you decided to play a progressive slot machine like “Megabucks”. You decide not to play the maximum credit because you think you’re probably not going to win the jackpot anyway and your cash is running out; so you play the one credit minimum. You pull the handle...and to your amazement the symbols all match, the machine starts to light up, it makes some noise and you bask in the feeling that you are going to be America’s newest millionaire! You start to plan the trips to New York, Paris, Venice, and even Egypt that you’ve always dreamed of. Then you start to hear coins dropping into the pan. This confuses you as you thought the casino would pay you with a check. You wonder how many coins it will take to pay out your millions of dollars. After all, you haven’t got all day and you have a lot of life to live…and a lot of money to live it with! Then you remember that instead of $3.00, you only played $1.00, which means that you aren’t going to win millions. The good news is that you are still going to win a good amount of money; but all that you can think of is the millions of dollars that you could have won if you only put in $2.00 more. You realize the closest you will get to New York, Paris, Venice and Egypt with your winnings, is by taking a walk on the Las Vegas Strip. Only two dollars more, huh? Sigh.Five minutes or five hours? From a customer service standpoint, doing a little extra can mean the difference between you spending 5 minutes with a customer or 5 hours dealing with problems later! I recall speaking with a client for quite some time, who was upset at one of our associates because the associate kept talking over her, kept telling her what the “rules” were, and didn’t let her finish what she wanted to say. I then contacted the associate's manager to discuss the situation, which was logged into a database report that I submitted to the senior management of the company. The manager then had to take the time to speak to the associate of the situation, who then had to explain what happened. The manager then had to let me know what happened and may have needed to explain things to her regional manager as well. Not the best use of anyone’s time is it? By the way, the upset client had glowing words for another associate who spoke to her after her initial encounter with the employee she complained about. The irate customer said the other associate simply said “I’m so sorry…we have been very busy today…I’m not sure if we can do this, but I will definitely see what I can do. I am sorry.” The second associate’s response so positively impacted the upset customer that she couldn’t stop saying nice things about this person because she felt like he cared enough to listen. Wouldn’t it have been better for the first associate to do what the second associate ultimately did? The resident would have been happier, the second associate wouldn’t have had to be involved, and everyone would have saved time and energy. It doesn’t take that much more effort to provide excellent customer service; in fact I believe that it actually takes less effort in the long run to do things right the first time. While it does take a choice to not settle for being just average and to choose to be a champion, the results are worth it. Just ask the winner at Megabucks who played the extra credits! Author and leadership expert John C. Maxwell puts it best, “Champions achieve things that average people don’t…because champions do things that average people won’t.” Until next time-thanks for reading!(This article was originally published in 2005.)

Rommel Anacan

I am a national speaker, trainer, and strategic consultant to companies and organizations. I'm alsothe president and founder of The Relationship Difference a professional and personal development company in Orange County, California.

My passion is helping people succeed by helping them connect, communicate and engage with the people around them more effectively.

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