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Humanitarian Bowl, Northern Illinois vs. Fresno State — Oh, the humanity. These teams have combined for an 18-7 record. At least there's that.

New Orleans Bowl, Ohio vs. Troy — Somebody is kidding. They're not really playing this game, are they? Come on, be serious.

Beef 'O' Brady's Bowl, Louisville vs. Southern Mississippi — I always said when they created a Beef 'O' Brady's Bowl, there would be too many bowl games.

MAACO Bowl, Utah vs. Boise State — This is an interesting matchup between teams that have been huge players on the national stage. Unfortunately, now they're in the MAACO Bowl.

Poinsettia Bowl, San Diego State vs. Navy — There are a lot of sailors in San Diego. And "Anchors Aweigh" is a catchy tune.

Hawaii Bowl, Hawaii vs. Tulsa — This Christmas Eve game will be attended by Santa Claus, who will quickly recognize he's lost.

Little Caesars Pizza Bowl, Toledo vs. Florida International — The fans of FIU, located in Miami, were asked if they wanted to spend Christmas in Detroit for this day-after-Christmas game. They politely declined.

Independence Bowl, Georgia Tech vs. Air Force — I'm sorry, Georgia Tech lost to Kansas this season and is 6-6. If there's a less-deserving bowl team in America, I'd love to see it. Hate to see it, I mean.

Champs Sports Bowl, North Carolina State vs. West Virginia — An OK game, actually. Yet utterly uninteresting. How can a game be both? Because it's bowl season.

Insight Bowl, Missouri vs. Iowa — What are two Big 10 schools doing in the same game? Oh, wait, Missouri didn't bolt for the Big 10. Are you sure?

Military Bowl, East Carolina vs. Maryland — The only thing military about this game will be the retreat from the stadium at halftime.

Texas Bowl, Baylor vs. Illinois — 7-5 vs. 6-6. At least this former NFL Network gem has found its way to ESPN.

Alamo Bowl, Arizona vs. Oklahoma State — The Wildcats have a guy named Stoops on the sideline. That doesn't bode well for OSU, does it?

Armed Forces Bowl, SMU vs. Army — Does the Army allow guys named June to join? SMU coach June Jones wants to know.

Pinstripe Bowl, Kansas State vs. Syracuse — Neat concept, playing a football game in Yankee Stadium. And there's the Little Apple/Big Apple thing.

Music City Bowl, North Carolina vs. Tennessee — Some of the best music in history has been made in Tennessee. But some puts people to sleep.