April Fools’ Day Postponed Again

The Government has confirmed that April Fools’ day will be postponed until June for the second year running, as the current climate made it ‘entirely inappropriate’ for the media to run fake stories on left-handed hamburgers, slow-running radios and digital Big Bens.

“We have nuclear meltdown in Japan, war, like, everywhere and an economic crisis,” said a spokesman. “Articles on pinch-punch-first-of-the-month ASBOs, compulsory polenta in school dinners or the collapse of the coalition are banned until we’ve had at least two months’ successive economic recovery.”

The Government stopped short of censoring all humorous articles, however. Limited speculation on Kate Middleton’s bridal underwear and the outcome on the referendum on voting reform will be allowed, as will photographs of houses, wives and cats that look like Hitler.

“It’s for your own good, Britain”, continued the spokesman. “You may not be laughing now, but by the time we’ve cleared the deficit you’ll be hysterical for evermore.”