Friday, 15 December 2006

Dragons & Virgins

A dragon’s life isn’t too bad, since those stupid knights on horseback stopped charging at them.

There was one fellow, called George, don’t know what happened to him, but he made a nuisance of himself. Every Saturday, he’d be chucked out of the pub, for cheating at skittles, he’d climb on his horse, and off he’d go to fight a dragon. But he’d make sure the only dragon he ever challenged was so old it could hardly sum up enough energy to fart, no need blow a flame. Some hero was George, one fart and he was blown off his horse. Poor old George, he had ideas well above his station. Got it into his head that one day he’d become a national hero. Even employed Max Clifford to be his publicist. Max had the bright idea that George should give away tee shirts with red cross emblem. Last I heard of George was when he was a contestant on “Ye Oldie Big Brother”.

These days’ dragons lead a very peaceful life. If you go through Llanybydder you can see the children of the Polish immigrant workers playing with the young dragons.

The perfect dragon sausage is made from a 92 year old dragon. The traditional way of killing a dragon is by sacrificing a young virgin to it. At 92, it doesn’t take many virgins for it to die, with a smile on its face, of exhaustion.

Unfortunately, there is now a problem of supply and demand. The increased popularity of dragon sausages has resulted in an increased demand for virgins. The Welsh Dragon Breeders Association (WDBA) has run a recruitment campaign but unfortunately without much success. They tried using immigrant virgins, but the dragon’s insisted on having young Welsh virgins.

I don’t think there will be an improvement until the conversion of the factory in Llanelli is completed. But even then it will take time to retrain the workers from pickling onions to making chastity belts.