Breaking Through the Backwash January 27, 2009

OK. I seem to be wading out of the muck at last. In talking with my partner yesterday, I had a couple of epiphanies about my spiritual/magickal practice and the 4th Step work I’ve been doing. Really, I’ve been digging deeper to find more of the complexes that have managed to keep me from being aligned in my 3 souls. And in attempting to manifest even a cup of coffee, the process I’ve been going through has not been enough. Yesterday, I found I was continuously purifying using the rite I’ve been taught, and something did seem to break through. In any case, I got what I desired on my way home from an OA meeting in the form of witnessing a shooting star. It was like a cosmic FedEx truck moment!

Accumulating a list of things I need to purify wasn’t exactly my idea here. I had been feeling a pressing need, partly due to the training I’m receiving, to work the steps, and a friend in the fellowship asked if I wouldn’t like to participate in a step study. Ironically, I’m progressing with the Steps at a faster clip with my sponsor than I am with my study group. With my sponsor, I’ll finish up 4/5 tomorrow, and with the group, I’m just finishing up Step 3, though I think I’m just going to share the highlights of 4/5 and move onto 6/7.

After this, I need to take a “gentleness break” which is what Patrick Carnes encourages us to do as we work the steps. I’m glad that I’m pretty much through with this, probably the deepest 4th step I’ve ever done. And I’ve been through one that was more extensive. (Not as deep, and perhaps that was more a reflection of who and where I was at the time in my development. In any case, the breadth of the CEAHOW 4th step is impressive.)

It’s cold and sunny out, and with each passing day the light gets longer and longer, if only a minute at a time on the edges of the ever shorter dark. Brigid is on its way this Sunday. It seems only fitting that this transition should happen as emotional winter gives way to emotional spring. Yippeeskippee!