When I moved to Salem four years ago and began to find my way around, I realized it was taking me much longer than usual to create a “mind map” of my new home. Something definitely was odd.

Streets would suddenly split, or dead-end, or veer sharply to the right, shooting me off in a completely different direction from the way I was headed. “Noo,” I found myself moaning. “I don’t want to go this way!”

I mentioned the problem to my new friend and neighbor. She was sympathetic: “It’s so bad, someone made a board game of the Salem street system, years ago. It’s called ‘You Can’t Get There From Here.’ I have a copy somewhere.”

The game, printed in 1984, is actually titled “Salem’s All-American Street Game” (“You Can’t Get There From Here” is the subtitle). It was the brain child of two brash, young Salem businessmen — John Baker, an agent at Ned Baker Real Estate, and Jon Steinmetz, district manager of Bob’s Hamburgers — who wanted to make a point.

As the game’s introduction states, “Beginning in 1981 the City of Salem began closing streets, changing their direction, making them two-way for a few blocks, then one-way again. Anyway, they have made a mess.”

According to an Oregon Business article at the time, the city council had “changed the direction of the major downtown streets three times in as many years, stimulating verbal abuse from many residents.” Baker ended up testifying in front of the council about the deleterious effect of the street changes on local business.

“People quit going downtown to shop because it was too confusing,” he told me over the phone from his present home in Sunriver.

Baker came away frustrated at the city council’s lack of response. “When government agencies start changing things, they often don’t realize the impact their decisions have on people whose livelihoods are on the line,” Baker, now retired, told me. “I wanted to send a message in a fun, light-hearted way.”

One night, as he was falling asleep, the layout of the game came to him. He woke up enough to scribble down his ideas.

Later, he worked with his friend Steinmetz to complete the graphic design of the game, which was printed in Salem by Capitol Games, a company created to produce only this one game.

When government agencies start changing things, they often don’t realize the impact their decisions have on people whose livelihoods are on the line. I wanted to send a message in a fun, light-hearted way.

At the time, Baker told the Statesman Journal, “We want the game to be a positive for Salem, not a negative. … What is most important is to sell Salem. The big reward is the tremendous amount of laughter and discussion [the game generates].”

They produced more than 2,000 copies and sold them for between $13 and $15. Baker and Steinmetz gave about $1,000 to charity, cleared about $1,000 each, and presented the first game they produced to the Salem city council.

“Some of them thought it was pretty funny,” Baker said. “Others were not amused.”

The layout of the board shows an interlocking grid of eight one-way downtown streets, with squares for local businesses along the routes. The businesses depicted on the board are all real — each of them paid $50 for the privilege of being part of the game — but many are now defunct.

Ned Baker Real Estate is still going strong, but Bob’s Hamburgers, a Salem institution since 1955, closed the last of its restaurants in 2001. (I understand Bob’s secret sauce can still be purchased at Roth’s Market, however.)

The bungalow which once housed the popular Heritage Tree Restaurant was moved from Cottage Street to State Street in 2007; the restaurant closed, and the eponymous black walnut that had sat behind it was cut down. But you can still buy a dozen roses at Olsen Florist, wander the shops of the Reed Opera House or buy a bike at Scott’s Cycle.

As many as four can play the game. Each player is dealt several hundred dollars along with cards that determine the downtown errands to run; the first player to complete all errands wins the game. A roll of the dice determines the number of spaces to move.

As in Monopoly, players sometimes have to draw cards that can send them to jail, earn them unexpected money or charge them fines. Some of the cards evoke speculation about the events that may have inspired them: “Go to City Hall; complain to council; lose 1 turn,” or “Theater fundraising scheme; collect $20 from each player.”

The kicker, though, is that upon landing on one of the squares marked with an arrow, a player is required to reverse the direction of one of the one-way streets, leading to havoc and confusion, and making it nearly impossible to get any errands done. Often, a player’s best option is to go to jail, which sits, along with City Hall, in the middle of the board — once you pay your bail (or forfeit a turn if you’re broke), you can head out in any direction.

The directions are typewritten; the board is red, white and blue; and the design looks somewhat amateurish in this day of computer graphics and laser printing. But it has a charming old-timey air, and it is fun to play.

I’ve played “Salem’s All-American Street Game” twice now: once while sitting in a coffee shop with the friend who first told me about it, and once with my Salem Is editor and her friend. Strategy is key. Map out your errands; make a plan. Do you need to stop at a bank? What happens when you get to the spot where streets run into each other?

You can play viciously, reversing streets to thwart your opponents just as they turn the corner to complete an errand. More often, though, the frustration of not being able to get from here to there drove us to cooperate. In one game, two of us were stuck, unable to move either way, except by going to jail. I landed on an arrow, which was followed by general jubilation and me asking, “Which street should I change, ladies?”

Many an academic treatise has been written on the influence of physical environment on behavior. Were the city leaders smarter than we knew? Perhaps as they laid out the streets, they were deliberately trying to drive the citizens of Salem into unusual feats of cooperation and concern for their fellow citizens, postulating that we would react much like the way people behave in the wake of hurricanes, earthquakes and other natural disasters.

Hmmm. Probably not.

Laura Gildart Sauter writes a column on local farming for Salem Weekly and has had her short fiction and poetry published in obscure literary journals.

***

Win a Copy of “Salem’s All-American Street Game”

“Salem’s All-American Street Game” is no longer in print, but co-creator John Baker was kind enough to dig up an old copy for us — and we want to pass the riches on to you.

One lucky winner will receive a free copy of the game. To enter: Comment on this story with an answer to the question, “If you were to make a board game about Salem, what would you call it?”

Bonus entries: Earn one bonus entry each for

Sharing this story on Facebook, and then coming back to this page and adding a comment that says, “I shared this on Facebook.” (If you do not add the comment on this page, the entry will not count.)

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One winner will be chosen at random from all entries. Entries must be received by 11:59 p.m. on Sunday, June 9, or they will not count. We will announce the winner sometime later that week on this page and on our Facebook page.

And the winner is …

15 Responses

You know the “Central Salem Mobility Study” was seeking to undo some of the one-way mischief? Returning some of the downtown streets to two-way functioning has run into difficulties, it seems – but it might not be too late for rationality to prevail!

The next open house is June 12th. From the City: “Wednesday, June 12, from 4- 6 pm at the Salem Library, Anderson Rooms. Please join us to review project details, recommended phasing, and costs. Computer-generated imagery of some projects will be available. Presentations will occur at 4:30 p.m. and 5:30 p.m.”

This game looks awesome! People must hold onto their copies because I’ve never seen it out thrifting. Hmm I think I’d make a game called Big City Problems, Small Town Gossip.

KyraJune 3, 2013 at 3:40 am ·

If I were to make a board game about Salem, I’d make it “Risk” or “Game of Thrones” style where you would conquer different parts of the city. The thing about Salem that would make it different from other cities would be the contrasting areas. Parts of West Salem would be used for raw resources, while downtown would be the center of commerce. I-5 access would be key to controlling transportation and communication with either other areas of Salem or with “imaginary” cities outside the game, like Portland or Eugene; perhaps gaining bonuses from those?

Interesting question to ask, since I’m both a Salemite and getting into board game design.

I picture a fascinating diplomatic game where two rival factions are disputing the construction of a bridge. The traffic study card is played against the “But Bikes Are Awesome” action die which is then countered by…actually, wait, that game would probably go for much longer than would be enjoyable for anyone.

Oh, and shared on Facebook.

Missy LJune 3, 2013 at 9:04 am ·

I shared it on Facebook!

My siblings and I played this game as a kid at my grandparent’s and I have fond memories. It was surely lost years ago and I would love a replacement. I don’t remember using the one way street signs, but maybe we weren’t old enough to figure them out. It has Ira’s Alley on it and The Night Deposit, right? I remember thinking it was so cool that we had a game with places we knew on it, unlike Monopoly.

Possible games for current Salem:
Who Wants to be a Bridge Builder? (A la Who Wants to be a Millionaire?)
Guess Where the Sidewalk Ends (guess where Peter Fernandez and the city council has allowed sidewalks to end abruptly around town)
The Developer’s Dream (guess which developers get to not make street improvements when building new construction)
City Council’s Sorry! (A game for citizens)

My board game would be called “Real life in Salem” modeled after the game of life but tailored for life in Salem, jobs, schools, businesses, taxes, state workers, state hospital, teachers, local resources, farmers, our great outdoors and odd government.

If I were to make a board game about Salem it would be called “Dining Without Children” where I get to go out to eat and leave the kid at home. Someone make this game!

Jon PreisJune 4, 2013 at 10:12 am ·

NEIGHBORHOOD CITY!!! A game where each player develops connections and a network to make great things happen in their “Neighborhood”! Score points by rolling multi-sided dice for community building projects (ie.,community gardens, neighborhood parties, speed bumps, afterschool programs), extra funding (ie.,grants, donations or time money or goods), City support (ie., coordination, newsletters, grants, the “ear” of a counselor or…the Mayor), and “Partners” (ie., businesses, churches, schools, non-profits, and super-involved neighbors!). Combine forces with other neighborhoods into Community Progress teams to leverage your assets for double points on each roll! As you gain points, move up in Livability Levels and watch the ranking of your schools and property values go up!
Win by aligning all 19 neighborhoods and becoming Salem’s “First Neighbor”!!

Jim ScheppkeJune 5, 2013 at 12:39 pm ·

I shared this on Facebook.

My 2013 game would be “Taco Town” based on the video my daughter made last year for the S-J “We Love Salem” contest and the Taco Town columns that Arturo Guillen and I have been writing for the Salem Weekly. The game would feature all 11 “Taco Town” muy authentico Mexican eateries in town plus other places to immerse yourself in our growing Latino culture in Salem (mercados, flea markets, taco trucks, and more). Face it folks, Salem is the Latino capital of Oregon and this is the thing that is really going to differentiate us from our sister cities of Portland and Eugene in the future. Our population is 20% Latino, going on 30%, 40%, 50%. I predict that Salem will have a Latino mayor by 2040. It’s going to be great. Viva Salem!

I lived in Salem from 81-84 and remember hearing about this game. My mom worked at Willamette University and I remember we were always having problems with construction on 12th St.

It was really fun to read this article and the history behind it, as I did not know all of that back then. I remember Bob’s Hamburgers and remember especially well that “special sauce”…although as a vegan I would be happy to have a vegan burger with that special sauce (unless it has animal products in it??).

I have fond memories of the Reed Opera House and a hilarious memory regarding a store called Razzle Dazzle….I tell it as my “most embarrassing moment” story because everything is embarrassing when one is an 11 year old girl, but that one wins out in most people’s opinion almost anytime I tell it. It would be quite funny if the staff that was there that day happened to be reading this an remembered the incident. Let’s just say I had always wanted to wear a pair of Growcho Marx glasses, and if you know anything about the types of products sold at Razzle Dazzle (me and my best friend were there sticker collecting), you might be able to guess what kind of ribald appendix and hair replaced what I had believed was an innocent nose and mustache. The staff nearly fell on the floor in mirth as I delivered my rendition of “How’s it goin’ sweetheart” to various patrons throughout the store went off. It came to a head when I tapped my best friend’s shoulder and said that to her, and when she turned to face me and realized what I had on my face, SHREEEKED like I’d never heard her shriek before. So I then took off the glasses and discovered what I was wearing and shrieked in kind. We dropped our stickers and RAN OUT OF THERE!!! They were not in a package and were lying face down when I picked them up; I had NO IDEA what I had on my face….LOL!

I just found a version of this game, complete, and including a news article tucked in the box from 1984 about the makers of the game and the story behind it.

I love board games, and urban development, so this really hit a chord with me. However, my partner and I agree that this probably belongs back in Salem with people that would genuinely appreciate it more than us.

If anyone is interested, I can list it on ebay and get it to it’s appropriate home, or contact me directly at jenniekaycreative@gmail.com