Ms. Mogul

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Tuesday, August 23, 2011

The Swan: That Extreme Show and the Essence of Me

At some point in our lives, we are all tested. We find ourselves at a crossroad where we must face a challenge, or series of challenges that force us to stand back and reassess the landscape of our reality. Such a crossroad in life could be prompted by a breakup, the death of a loved one, the onset of a disease, the loss of a job – any one of so many different situations where we spiral downward and ultimately hit rock bottom. Many of us shut down and allow our health, appearance, and our essential life force to gradually fizzle, until we literally become more walking dead, than vibrant life.

I am living proof. At one point, I was a complete zombie.

At age 35, I really thought I had it all: I was the hustling, respected and successful president of Telemundo, an early pioneer in my field as a Latina professional. I had a rich and famous boyfriend.

After I found out I was pregnant, I realized that my perfect boyfriend and I had “irreconcilable differences,” and that we could never stay together. It was a huge slap in the face for someone like me, who at the time, believed there was nothing I could not solve or fix or will into perfection. I love my son, but single mamihood was certainly not the life I had envisioned for myself. It wasn’t until a few years later that I became enveloped by an overwhelming sense of shame, sadness, and ultimately a darkness that only those who have suffered from depression can truly understand.

Despair hit me hard.

People often ask me how I was able to step out of this emotional shadow and away from the ‘victim’ mentality I had squarely set into my mind. The simple answer is that one day I decided to stop everything, put myself first, and check into a health spa. I needed the kind of life regroup one can only find after a solid week of meditation and massage. While I was there, away from the noise and clutter of everyday life, I was hit with the realization that I hadn’t actually taken care of myself in what seemed like forever, and that I needed to finally give back to that vibrant person I knew always existed within me, but of whom I had lost sight. I had to value an essence in myself, and pick up the pieces of my life that lay shattered around me. I felt revamped when I returned home. I decided to be proactive about caring for myself—which in my case, given the rhythm of my life at the time, meant intentional non-action. Or, taking time off for me! It was an epiphany.

TRANSFORMATION AND MAINTENANCE

While I was away, my son had been given a book, The Complete Works of Hans Christian Anderson. I decided to sit and read it with him one night, and while I recited the fable, “The Ugly Duckling,” out loud, I had an idea. “The ugly duckling was always a swan -- and didn’t know it.” As I uttered the words, it suddenly hit me that many women must feel exactly like I did—trapped inside their own potential, but yearning to achieve the natural joy and confidence that exists deep within the folds of their psyche.

Inspired by this experience, I created the hit Fox reality television series, The Swan, which put me directly in touch with thousands of women who, like me, had hit a wall. In The Swan, I propelled these women into action through physical transformation. Granted, the show garnered a lot of criticism, as some felt that the show encouraged women to believe they had to change every bit of themselves (externally as well as internally) in order to find true happiness. Unfortunately, a prime-time TV show makes it impossible to see all that transpires when the cameras aren’t filming: the transformative hours of therapy, the life coaching, and all of the other options and new pathways that these women were given to literally makeover their life attitudes. I firmly believe and can attest to the fact that a woman’s most glorious ‘natural state’ arises out of total self-confidence.

At one point, and at the last minute, the network decided to change the show from a more holistic therapy based, internal transformation documentary, to an extreme plastic surgery and ratings-driven vehicle—all of it against my better instincts. I got flack for what the show ultimately became, but I knew that at the core of my intention and motivation was the power of change. And this struck a chord. The Swan seems mild in comparison to the television shows that now permeate primetime TV. In a way, the show was the first of its kind to literally transform its subjects into the people of their dreams.

The Swan changed so many women, but one lesson I took away from the show is that maintenance is the key to life. As mothers, we often start to put our mates first, and then our children become the center of our universe. We slowly lose ourselves, and in many cases, also our self-esteem. Then we stop maintaining, physically. How we look can be a direct reflection of how we feel inside. We must be vigilant about this.

And yet, it doesn’t stop with just physical maintenance. Just as critically is emotional maintenance. Sometimes we feel guilty when we spend time on ourselves over our families, and yet what good are we to them if we are not feeling our absolute best? More importantly, what are we teaching our children when we don't maintain our physical and mental well being? What will their worth become when we are not showing them the best and most nurtured face of our own self-esteem?

GROWTH IS OUR RESPONSIBILITY

Another lesson I learned from The Swan is that growth is a responsibility; we must never stop blossoming intellectually, physically, or emotionally. Advocating our own personal growth is a legacy that we must leave to our children. Personally, this came in the guise of going back to school. I took a break from television and entertainment, and I am now working on a Masters/Doctorate in Clinical Psychology. The bottom line is that I took my mind out of its comfort zone, and consciously worked on maintaining and growing through school and learning. Instead of complaining that I’m getting older and not feeling good about myself, I am proud to have started the difficult task of going back to school at an older age, and even prouder for seeing it through.

I am “swanning” my mind. No plastic surgery could ever buy this type of confidence. My now 11-year-old son sees his mami studying, taking difficult exams, relishing in the victory of a hard won ‘A’ on a paper. He and I are growing together everyday, and this invaluable and ongoing process of intentional evolution is the most precious gift I could ever give to us both.

I was confused until the end - it seemed as though he was confused, too.

I kept thinking, Trump is into money and Annie is a money-making beast!!! She is tough and seemed unlikable (at least the way she was edited) but Trump doesn't care about likability - think Piers!

But Joan is an American icon, formidable and 75 years old – those factors alone should get her The Celebrity Apprentice Lifetime Achievement Award.

I was there at the LIVE finale.The tension between these 2 women and between other members of the cast was palpable. It wasn't just Joan and Annie - it was also Dennis and Jesse (over Dennis' drinking problems); and Clint and Donald (over how Clint was edited). There were a lot of issues going on. Definitely heavier vibes in the room than when we were at the finale last year. What happened to Khloe Kardasian, Natalie Gulbis, and T-Boz? They didn’t show. I wanted to meet them. Issues or scheduling conflicts?

The show, however, was fabulous! The heated discussion in the live boardroom session between all of the participants, and the wild showdown at the end between the two ladies, was uncomfortable to watch and great television.

The minute I guessed Annie was going to be fired and that Joan was going to win, was when Piers and Trace came out. I assumed Trace would vote for Joan and thought for sure Piers would vote for Annie. When Piers voted for Joan - I thought that's it, that's the ammunition Trump needs to make his decision.

Joan it was!!! The crowd went crazy!!!!!! I was sitting next to all the people from her charity. They were so nice and grateful. They truly spoke highly of Joan. I felt for them and was happy their charity got the recognition and the money.

It was a great night. Two extraordinary women, fighting as equals - not pussyfooting around and pretending to like each other, but going at it.Trump got his great TV rating moment and I am one satisfied viewer.I felt particularly satisfied because they really both won. Annie took home 450,000 for her charity, she's now a household name, and her charity got a ton of publicity. Joan got the title, 400,000 (150,000 that she raised in the final task plus 250,000 for the win), her charity is now on the map, and she gets recognized for 75 years of accomplishment. Win-win for all.

Okay, I have to give you a little bit of gossip about the show before I go.

I have to say our party last year was cozier. This year a million people were there and the celebs came and went - they were too bombarded to mingle. Last year, we took pictures with each other and had a glorious time.

I have decided this season's cast looks way better in person. People always tell me I look better in person and that I look thinner. The camera just doesn't love everybody.

Melissa is a thousand times better looking in person and she has quite a cute boyfriend, too. Jesse James is unrecognizable in person from TV. In person, you get it - he's very cute and sexy - you go, Sandra Bullock. Herschel Walker is a doll on TV and in person - but again, way more handsome in person. Claudia is pretty on TV - but in person, beautiful!!! Brande is beautiful on TV and in person and nice - the camera loves her. Here's the shocker - Annie! Television really doesn't do her justice. She looks way younger in person, and she's really quite pretty with beautiful porcelain skin.

It was great to see Stephen Baldwin, Trace Adkins and Piers Morgan again. I feel that after this season, our season is the loving first family of The Celebrity Apprentice.

Can't wait for next season. Who will superstar casting director, Chuck Labella (who deserves a medal for having an uncanny gut instinct about what mix of people to invite to a dinner party that would create excitement, smart conversation, controversy and fireworks) invite to partake in the next Celebrity Apprentice dinner?

My suggestion Chuck - next year we need an illicit behind the scenes romance.

Monday, May 4, 2009

CELEBRITY APPRENTICE 2- Nely Galan's Episode 10 Blog

I am so happy The Celebrity Apprentice has been picked up for another year. I learn so much from watching the show. I told Donald Trump after the show last year that there should be a Celebrity Apprentice boot camp for professionals. It is important to look at the skills and traits that have gotten you to where you are and address if they are still working for you.

When you watch The Celebrity Apprentice it is often clear and painful to see successful people who are stuck in patterns. They have never had the opportunity to stop and realize that there is time to change. There is time to do things differently and grow into the person you were always meant to be, even if you are a Celebrity. Reinvention is a beautiful thing!

I believe that is the theme of this episode.

The task to write a jingle had Clint Black as the obvious project manager and most likely to win contestant.

I felt sick to my stomach for Annie and Brande, putting myself in their shoes, and understanding the extreme difficulty of this task. Yet they came from behind, (clearly underestimated by themselves and others) and yet they won the race. Or maybe it is better put that Clint lost the race and they won by default. No matter- they won.

I find that this often happens in life. It has happened to me so many times. Sometimes I am so cocky and sure of success and then I lose. Other times when I feel like I don't deserve to win or I am unsure, I win in spite of myself. Even more complicated is that sometimes when I try hard and win, in the end I lose because the win was bad for my life. I have also sometimes lost and been devastated and in the end it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

When Trump fired Clint Black, he said that he was grateful for the insight the show gave him about working with others, I thought, this guy is going to go home and change. He realized his behavior is no longer working for him, he needs to let it go. He shifted and when he has time to take it all in, I believe it will be extraordinary for him.

In terms of Annie, she is in every way extraordinary. I rooted for her to win and I was thrilled to see it happen. But, like Jesse the week before, she is not a good winner. She is so gifted she doesn't realize she doesn't have to say I ,I, I, I, so many times. She just is great, she doesn't have to remind us every second. It diminishes her greatness.

It is hard to watch that behavior for me. I realize how often I have done that. I think women have to constantly prove themselves in the work place that we learn to "toot our own horn" in order to be recognized. We create this bad habit of constantly telling you how good we are, always justifying why we deserve our seat at the table. Watching it on TV, I realize that it is unnecessary and unattractive. Note to self and to Annie.

Later when Trump took the final four (Jesse, Joan, Annie and Brande) and had Piers interview them for their eligibility for the final two spots, his insights were profound and exactly what we all have been thinking.

Do Brits just have a knack for this because they are not from the US and they don't care what we think? Both Simon Cowell and Piers have an innate ability of hitting the nail on the head. Piers was right about all.

He thought Brande was lucky and not winner material (although likable and smart).

He felt Jesse was smart and a good leader, but something is off. I agree. While I admire him for keeping his private life private, you can't go on the Celebrity Apprentice, clearly to get publicity for yourself and your charity, and not expect people to want you to pull out your "Celebrity Trump card"- Sandra Bullock. It's was missed opportunity- he had to go! Trump did the right thing!

I am beyond excited that it is between Joan and Annie. How great to see two formidable women going for gold. It is a true horse race. I believe Joan will bring out all her tricks and will do her best to beat Annie. The more I observe Joan the more I think she has been playing poker with Annie. I think she will surprise us all. Annie could win easily unless she gets cocky and underestimates her opponent.

I love them both and will be happy if either one of them win. But for today I am voting for the 75 year old. I think she gets the life achievement award. Yes she has weird quirks and inappropriate comments but in the race of life in every way she is a winner and a phoenix that always rises from the ashes. Joan Rivers has Celebrity Apprentice winner written all over her.

Monday, April 27, 2009

CELEBRITY APPRENTICE 2- Nely Galan's Episode 9 Blog

OMG! That was some of the best, and most uncomfortable television that I have ever seen. Where do I begin?

First of all: everybody is now acting crazy. Even the most normal among them (Jesse) is off his rocker. Clearly the sleep deprivation and hunger have them all at their breaking point.

The task at hand was a fun and creative one. When you are at home chilling out and watching the show, you think “NO SWEAT" figuring out a campaign for deodorant. However, when you are there in Trump’s boot camp, your brain just doesn't function properly.

Clint, once again, did a mediocre job. Surprisingly though, Jesse was the one that was out of line. He acted just as narcissistically as Clint, and maybe even worse. He was so obnoxious that I began to see the chinks in his "great guy" armor. Jesse definitely has ego issues too - he just tends to cover them up better than the others. I was actually happy to see Clint win - just to spite Jesse's behavior. Then when Clint won, Jesse wasn’t even gracious. I guess he's not such a mensch after all.

Jesse really missed the boat on something that Donald Trump taught me last year that I will never forget: "Don’t over deliver." He’s right. We all forget that oftentimes the clients that you are working for are not pioneering geniuses. They’re mainly employees caught up in the giant cogs of a corporation, which means that they are usually not great risk takers. And they don't need brilliance - they just need "good enough."

That was the case in this episode. Yes, KOTU's campaign was bad (Athena's was better conceptually, but wasn't executed as well) but KOTU's project was just "good enough" to win. Jesse needs to learn that lesson, too. The client is not an owner; they are a mid-level employee. Jesse should have chilled.

The girl's team displayed a very interesting dynamic: the "player," Annie, who is clearly only concerned with winning; Brande, who has wisely aligned herself with the winner; and Melissa, who is unbearably spoiled and entitled. (By the way, just for the record, I have heard that one-on-one Melissa is delightful, so who knows?) But in this game, I’ll have to say that I’m very glad that Trump finally had her fired.

Did you notice the note exchange between Trump and Cramer? I think Trump had a change of heart mid-boardroom and guess why? Money. Who would bring in the most money? He was right again.

But then how about that uncomfortable ending with Melissa storming out? And Joan insulting Brande and calling her a manipulated dumb blonde, and calling Annie a white trash poker player? And then running to Melissa's side saying that she's quitting the show! What a whole bag of crazy – you couldn’t have asked for anything more delicious. Beyond great TV! I replayed this scene several times in a row. Whew!!! I can't believe the whole exchange!

Okay, so here's my latest prediction - Joan will return. I know that sounds crazy, but in the end she's a consummate professional and isn’t a quitter. I believe/hope that she will come back to win, and leave her opponents in the dust. I’m savoring the possibility, and her competitors better not underestimate her. I have said it from the very beginning - I believe that Joan Rivers will take home the crown.

In a way, I can see why she and Melissa are so protective of each other. In Hollywood, you really can't trust anyone or anything - sometimes even your own family. The two of them have formed a life-long alliance and created a protective shield around each other. Trump has to respect that, as he is also very protective of his own children. I have to say, Ivanka shone again this week. She is one smart and poised cookie. The difference between her and other "kids of” is that she doesn't behave spoiled or entitled. Ivana did a good job with those kids.

I predict that Brande will be the next to go. Remember Carol Alt from last season? Often beauties are kept in the game for ratings (if they are good) but Brande doesn’t appear to be a true leader. Don’t get me wrong though – she is clearly very smart and not to be underestimated. However, I think it’s her time to be on the chopping block.

On a side note - I hated it when Brande compared her looks to Ivanka’s in order to make a point about her intelligence. It was “brown nosy” and discounted the other women in the room. They aren’t Playmates, but they are attractive, too. It's that beautiful girl entitlement/attitude that the rest of us can’t stand.

I believe that the “Final 4” will be Clint, the little engine that could; Jesse, the quiet force to be reckoned with (even though he is showing signs of cracking. If he’s to have a remote shot, he better pull his secret weapon, Sandra Bullock, out of his bag of tricks); Annie, the player; and Joan, whom I believe will win.

The one thing I have learned in life is to bet on experience and wisdom every time. It seems that these traits are no longer valued in our country; however, I believe that they make getting older all worthwhile.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

CELEBRITY APPRENTICE 2- Nely Galan's Episode 8 Blog

Last week, my friend, Jim, e-mailed me after reading my blog. He corrected me for picking Natalie Gulbis as the next one I wanted to be fired. He felt I didn't give her credit for her true cunning.

He said she had tried one of the greatest strategies in Apprentice history - calling the enemy of her opponent, Annie Duke, to try to raise money against her.

Jim, you were right! It was potentially a great strategy. Only, however, if it had worked. Not only did it not work, but she wasted all of her time putting all of her eggs in that basket versus going after her own money. As predicted Natalie went bye bye... Big lesson - great ideas are important but execution is where it counts. I have had a million great ideas and strategies in my life that I haven't always been able to execute. That is the difference sometimes between good and great!

Natalie is out and we now know that Annie Duke is extraordinary - no matter who likes her or not. The lady can execute. She's the Piers Morgan of this season. Did you see her auction and raise money? I was impressed - made me want to go take poker lessons from her and I don't even gamble. Did you see all those men just throwing money at her? She's obviously made them all a lot of money. Wow! Impressive!

But can we talk about the craziness of this episode? I have been worried every week about Joan Rivers' well being. My worry was that she would start cracking with the lack of food and sleep.

By now you all know I utterly respect Joan and expect her to win - but the comments about Annie being like Hitler were completely out of line and unbelievable. The whole exchange was offensive.

As a Latina - I know the power of words and am always careful of how I use them.

How would Joan have reacted if Annie had compared her to Hitler? It would have been in every newspaper and Annie's career would be marred. It is not fair that in a "politically correct" environment, there is a double standard. No one should be compared to Hitler - and certainly not in the context of a TV game.

I can really understand why Annie never wants to speak to Joan again.

Joan, please calm down. This is yours to win - but go get some sleep and let Melissa be her own person - she can do it!

Melissa and Joan have a symbiotic relationship that probably works in the context of their family but isn't pleasant to watch and must be a nightmare to work with...

Wasn't that exchange in the board room, with Melissa defending Joan and the "inside" comments about how they had gone to mutual friends of Joan and Donald for money but had been rejected, weird? This episode had a lot of uncomfortable, weird moments.

Piers Morgan's appearance was great I wish he was on with Trump all the time. I appreciate him even more this season. When I was there, I liked him at first but then I thought he was too cutthroat.

I was wrong - he is clear, direct, focused and while it is not my style, I almost wish it could be. Everything he says in this episode about Joan, Melissa, Clint and the Trumps was right on the money and exactly what I was feeling and thinking.

He's The Apprentice's Simon Cowell.

When he cornered Jesse James about why, if he was married to Sandra Bullock, could he not raise more money? It was a very uncomfortable moment but it was what I had been thinking all season. Great TV moment!

Piers - right on!!!! Can you tell he was a tabloid publisher in England? He goes for the jugular.

The second hour of the show where they had to create a recipe was predictable and in the end fair. Herschel Walker should have gone, under the circumstances (although it is hard to watch Clint Black stay over that sweet Herschel just because he took responsibility and became the project manager - again). Herschel is, as Joan would say, "a mensch."

Okay here's my prediction - next to go... either Clint Black or Brande Roderick. Brande appears weaker and is acting more like a "fair weather friend" as the season continues. Did you notice how in the second half of the show, she was now trashing Annie? However, I would actually rather Clint go next - it's long overdue.

One last thing I have been wanting to mention for weeks but especially in this episode; Ivanka Trump is exceptional. I really think she is the star of the family. She is poised, intelligent, beautiful and talented, but as demonstrated in this episode she has strong boundaries and knows how to speak her mind - respectfully. I was very impressed with her when I was on the show, and my respect has only grown with time. She is a good seed.

Monday, April 13, 2009

CELEBRITY APPRENTICE 2- Nely Galan's Episode 7 Blog

It’s hard to write about this episode - I felt cheated! Once we got to the boardroom it was evident that Brian McKnight was sick of it all, and just wanted to leave the show. (He admitted he had gone home for two days and didn't want to return.) Trump then did what he had to do. It made me mad - why did I have to go through the whole episode only to have Brian throw in the towel?

Frankly, KOTU was the superior team from the beginning of this episode, although I predict Natalie is the next to go. Their task was well executed – period! It also incorporated the Trump CELEBRITY APPRENTICE Lesson 101 - "USE YOUR TEAM'S CELEBRITY STATUS".

Athena was off in the clouds with Brian McKnight calling it in, and ultimately suffering the consequences. Their execution of the task was just plain bad.

Here's what I got out of this episode - a foreshadowing of things to come. Joan is becoming so cranky due to the lack of food and sleep creeping in, Melissa feels betrayed by Annie and Brande (who previously never liked each other) and is coming unglued, and Annie (as predicted) is playing good poker.

In the second hour of this episode, Trump announced a second task that required fundraising. This is very difficult in the current economy, even for celebrities. Annie appears to be the frontrunner, but the women’s claws are out! Joan hates Annie, Melissa hates Annie and Brande, and Annie acting as though she likes them all... NOT! Annie is playing poker again – unlikable, but a winning strategy.

The episode ended with a cliffhanger. The task has not been executed yet, and Piers Morgan (last year's winner) comes back to help Trump. I guarantee you he will make hamburger meat out of the contestants. Piers doesn't have the need to be liked, so he will be refreshingly honest.I can’t wait to see his “inside" report to Trump.

Too bad we had to endure Brian McKnight wasting our time to get to next week. But, it will be worth it.

Monday, April 6, 2009

CELEBRITY APPRENTICE 2- Nely Galan's Episode 6 Blog

Okay, in this episode Donald Trump is up to his old tricks. If you are a faithful viewer of the show, you will see that he is usually fair, insightful and correct in his firings. This season his performance in the boardroom has been perfect. Perfect that is, until now. One thing that you get from spending time around him, is that he is also moody (and sometimes emotional) in his decisions. Sometimes people just rub him the wrong way. He can also hold grudges from one episode to another.

In my case he fired me in the Vera Wang episode, where I did nothing wrong, because he was still upset that Gene Simmons had spared me in a previous task (the Kodak ink and printer) where I should have gone. Trump practically forced Omarosa to bring me into the boardroom, where he and I exchanged a few heated words, and then I was sent packing.

In last night’s episode, both teams did a horrible job of the task at hand. The client hated both of the viral videos, and therefore no one won the task and it was decided that one person had to go from each team. Double firings are a Trump specialty!

Of the two teams, Athena did a much better job (of a poor job) and it was difficult to decide who to fire. Wow, poor T-Boz - Trump fired her for volunteering to come into the boardroom and support Melissa. This was a "call back" firing. He reminded T-Boz of Bradford (one of the contestants from a previous season) who had volunteered to come into the boardroom and whom he promptly fired. Trump despises quitters and sacrificial lambs. She must have felt horrible – you could just see it in her eyes.

On the other team there was no question that Clint Black should have gone. He was a dictator - not a leader, not a team player, and not very creative. However, Trump had it out for Khloe when he found out that she skipped a day in the previous episode to deal with her DUI issue, which no one had bothered to tell him about. He really let her have it and then fired her. Donald was way tougher on Khloe than he was on his former Miss USA’s fall from grace.

You have to understand what it is like when you are there and not eating or sleeping - you are totally sequestered and away from reality. At home you are watching a very edited version of all that transpires. When you are in the boardroom for literally 3 hours, and Trump is raking you over the coals, you find yourself reverting to child-like behavior where you will do anything to make the pain go away – you act out, you “tattletale” on your teammates, you often use poor judgment, and you end up feeling really bad! Then if you get fired, it’s as if you just got dropped from the coolest team at school. You feel like you let your coach (Trump) down and that you just wanted him to really like you. I know, it’s bizarre – and worthy of a psychology paper or two. We are all grown, successful people but for the weeks you are competing, it’s like you are living in the altered reality of "THE MATRIX". Once you are home and have eaten and slept, you start to come back to your senses. You stop taking the experience personally (Trump really does love all of the TV children that appear on his hit franchise) and realize that it was an incredible opportunity to learn about yourself amidst the rarified air of your peers.

Well, the dead weight is almost all gone and it’s going to get really juicy! I predict that Clint or Natalie will be the next to go. Round Two I’m betting on Melissa getting the pink slip. (I’m concerned how Joan will do if Melissa goes, even though they are on different teams now, and vice versa.) And Brian has got to go next.

The real fun begins when (hopefully) the remaining players are Joan, Annie, Brande, Herschel and Jesse.

Hasta next week,

NelyP.S. I loved Perez Hilton's cameo. He made the show hipper and was a welcomed burst of fresh air, and needless to say - color! In all blue from head to toe, Perez is the new Small & Mighty.