It’s discouraging to me and to others to hear or read this kind of guilt tripping to nag about the other aspects of our life, instead of celebrating or appreciating the change that we have taken thus far.

“It’s my life, not yours”

Frankly, my lifestyle as it is, is very different for many people.

Some find it curious, others look at me strangely, some even insult me.

But once in a while you get others who find it cool and even interesting enough to change their own lifestyle, even just a little.

I’m okay with all of the above, but the main thing I am very conscious of, is not to shove it down others’ throats.

I don’t want to shame anyone or make anyone feel guilty for anything that they do.

It’s your life, not mine, as it is my life and not yours.

I just want to show you what I do and you can do what you want with the information.

All the things I do to inform myself and change my life might seem small and piddly to people who have been living self-righteously for so many years, but they are big steps to me, just as they are big steps to others to think twice about buying something that will clutter their home.

So this shaming of not living the “right” or “proper” life, annoys me and is somewhat discouraging, not encouraging.

Shaming doesn’t work on everyone, people just tune you out if you start to nag and become self-righteously preachy.

Who’s to say what is the correct way of living?

If you really want to take this logic of living “correctly” to the end, the final answer should be to either become a hermit in the mountains living off the land or the most morbid option of all — to commit suicide.

It sounds extreme, perhaps even shockingly rude, but it’s true.

It means you would have absolutely no carbon footprint, you wouldn’t bother anyone else with your choices, you wouldn’t be killing animals for meat, you wouldn’t be consuming anything else and so on.

Rationally it makes sense, but heck I don’t even want to get close to either option, but frankly speaking, it is nigh IMPOSSIBLE to buy anything where absolutely NO slave labour has been used in any part or making of the items.

Even if you buy the cloth and make your own clothes, that cloth was probably made in a plant where they pay their workers $1 a day. Unless you grow your own cotton, pick it, process it and then make clothes out of it… you will never know whose hands touched it.

As it stands, I’ve already made choices in the right direction such as:

not spending mindlessly and contributing to the creation of new things

using more natural products (love me some argan oil!)

*Actually, I just donated my car to the Cancer Society, so I’m car-free now until I move, which is fine in a city like Toronto. I will have to buy a car when I move to Dallas however.

Yet I still make not-so-eco-friendly choices like wanting to travel the world in an airplane, but when I do, I make small choices like not letting maids come into my room to change my sheets or towels daily (what for?), or taking public transportation almost exclusively when we travel.

Nobody wants to be preached at, and you can catch far more flies with honey mixed with diplomacy than with forcing your agenda down people’s throats.

Don’t let others shame or discourage you into the choices that you make

Any step you make into a new direction in your life, big or small, is a step, nonetheless.

It’s encouraging for me and others to hear about such things, and I just wish people would stop preaching like they’re the all-knowing authorities on how to live The Best and Right Life.

As Dr. Seuss said it best: It’s really just mind over matter — I don’t mind and you don’t matter.

About everydayminimalist

I'm a 20-something year old girl who lived out of a single suitcase in 2007, and now I'm living with less, but only with the best.
You don't have to get rid of everything to become a minimalist!
Minimalism can help simplify and organize your life, career, & physical surroundings. You can read more about me as a minimalist.
Or come and visit my other blog Fabulously Broke in the City where I got out of $60,000 of debt in 18 months, earning $65,000 gross/year.

di

I lived a different lifestyle for my generation. Divorced, single Mom, no boyfriends, poor, introverted, smart, hard worker. Those around me were not. It’s not fun being shunned by society.

Ginger

On a personal level, I think you are very cool!! Reflecting on the problem you outline here … love is the answer for all of it. And, if someone’s shaming you, they aren’t loving you. Shame on them!

Love you, everydayminimalist

Bryin

Do not move to Texas! It is an awful place. There is nothing worthwhile in Texas!

Patrick

I live car-free as well. However, less as a choice against carbon footprints, than one for motorcycle foot pegs. I just don’t see the point in maintaining a car when I live by myself and already have a motorbike to use for commuting my own ass around.

I am not an environmentalist. I care about the environment, but like anything else in life, obsessing about it does more harm than good. It’s about being a rationally thinking person and applying moderation in all things.

What’s reasonable, is a case-by-case decision, not a life dogma.

Lauren

You mentioned moving to Dallas, and I’m assuming Texas because I can’t think of other cities named Dallas. Though public transportation here isn’t fantastic, consider living near a DART train station (if you don’t already have plans). In my experience, they’re always on time and most employers offer discounts for annual passes.

Laurie Buchanan

“Any step you make into a new direction in your life, big or small, is a step, nonetheless.”

Amen siSTAR!

Kimberly

People come to do what’s right for them in their own time, but some of them think all of sudden everyone should be following their lead. What they fail to realize is that they didn’t always feel as they do now and everyone’s path has it’s own destination and time frame. There will always be righteous people out there, don’t let them bring you down. Be confident, stand tall, smile and say, “This is where I am now and feel great about it!”

Samantha

This made me smile so much. I have been vegan for 20 years, At the time I made the switch I did not know any other vegans and it was a decision that I made without pressure. The same with minimalism, I became a minimalist first and found like minded people second. I would have been the last person to become either if I felt pressured into it.

http://www.outliermodel.com/ OutlierModel

I have felt this from many people regarding our decision to not have a car. Owning a car is such an accepted part of society that not owning one by choice makes a lot of people look at you funny! Good blog, thanks.