Tips to Propose to Your Man

In The Proposal, Sandra Bullock’s character Margaret Tate, persuades her assistant Andrew Paxton played by Ryan Reynolds, to marry her.

Since time immemorial, women have patiently waited for their men to make the first move. Who doesn’t yearn for that magical moment when he gets down on one knee, holds that box up, looks you in the eye and pops the question? But today this notion is slightly old-fashioned.

As more and more women are taking the plunge themselves, we wonder if it is feasible. Pranay Anand, relationship and family therapist, says, “If you have reached that stage in your relationship where you know you want to spend the rest of your life with each other, then I don’t see a reason why a woman should not take the initiative.” So what are you waiting for ladies? Go get your man in style — here’s all you need to know about proposing.

Are you ready?The first question you should ask yourself is whether you have it in you to take the first step. The only thing that could be holding you back are those fairytale apparitions that are still lingering through your head. If you love him enough, just let those inhibitions go and say it. Research has shown that most men are likely to say ‘yes’ to their girlfriend’s proposal as they kind of enjoy it!

Prepare for the big momentOnce you’ve let go of your inhibitions, it’s up to you to make the moment as romantic and as surprising as possible. Keep in mind you don’t simply replicate your idea of a perfect proposal — he is a man and a feminine gesture may not be the way to go. You know him best, so adapt that into making it special for him.

Don’t go down on one knee There are things that a woman simply should not do. Besides, if you’re the one proposing, you don’t want to look particularly needy. Remember not to do anything out of your character, let your quirks peek through, because that is why he fell in love with you in the first place.

The ring is not an issueOne of the biggest pros of proposing to your man is that you don’t really have to worry about a big diamond ring. Just give him a Valentine’s Day card that reads ‘Will you marry me?’ or ‘Will you be my Valentine?’ and that should be enough. You can always go choose your engagement rings later.

It’s good to be nervousYour heart is probably pounding against your ribcage, and maybe you’re breathless too. But this vulnerability is what makes it so cute and charming. It takes a lot of courage to finally say it and your boyfriend must understand that.

Say it already! It may be a nice idea to rehearse your big proposal beforehand, but there is nothing like it when you let your heart guide you through. Be spontaneous and simple, and if that makes you clumsy, don’t worry about it.

What’s the risk?No matter how well you know each other, there is always the threat of an unenthusiastic or evasive response. In such a scenario, make sure you respond gracefully and not create a fuss. For all you know, this doesn’t necessarily mean the end; maybe it wasn’t the right time.

DID YOU KNOW?According to an old Irish myth, St Bridget struck a deal with St Patrick to allow women to propose to men every four years. This tradition was introduced to even out the stereotypical roles of men making the first move exactly how a Leap Day balances the calendar!

Is it time to pop the question? Take the quiz to find out:

1. Have you discussed your finances, separate or joint bank accounts, debts, investments, etc.?a. No we haven’t talked about it enough.b. Yes, but we are still working on it.c. We have discussed it in depth, and have reached a mutually agreed decision.

2. Like every other couple, you too fight. But how do you handle conflict? a. We can go on without talking for days, neither of us give up easily.b. We bicker back and forth till one of us gives up.c. We work it out within a day, there’s no point fighting.

3. His mom is planning a family dinner, she... a. Doesn’t think of calling you! It’s a family dinner, for family members only.b. Asks him to bring you along.c. Calls you and invites you directly and also asks you to come and help.

4. Whenever you mention the word ‘children’, he... a. Pretends he hasn’t heard it, but kind of turns pale.b. Acknowledges it but doesn’t quite delve deep. c. He knows what you’re hinting at and encourages it.

5. If you got married tomorrow, would you have any doubts about missing out on anything? a. Maybe one or two, or some regrets...b. I am almost positive, but I don’t know. c. Absolutely not, I am completely confident about this.

Mostly As: You may have been together for quite some time, but you’re definitely not ready for marriage yet. Lots of issues are still left unaddressed, and you need to deal with them first before you can exchange vows. Our advice: it’s not the time to pop the question just yet.

Mostly Bs: Let’s just say that two of you are getting there. Both of you realise that marriage involves a lot of planning and mental preparation and you are game for it. Even though you are on the right track, we’d suggest taking things a little slow at the moment.

Mostly Cs: perfectly in sync, we’d say! You two have reached a point where not only your hearts but your minds are ready for marriage too. If he hasn’t proposed yet it’s probably because he needs a little shove in the right direction. Go on; take the plunge, it is time.