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Sorry folks, no audio portion for you this week. But that's not the only thing your getting nothing of! "This Place Is Death" laid a big old goose egg for its episode total.

In an ironic twist of fate, history has repeated itslef in the LFL. Last year, "Eggtown" was the poorly received 4th episode of the season. It scored a moderate amount of points and was followed up by 4x05- "The Constant." It was one of the most popular episodes of the entire series but was dismal as a points earner.

Sure enough, last week's "The Little Prince" was the 4th episode of the season and met mediocre fans reviews but it performed well in the points (actually setting the Season 5 high). Episode 5x05, "This Place Is Death," was hugely popular amongst audiences but was a points letdown. Coincidence or fate? You be the judge.

The scores for 5x05, however, will not remain at 0 for long. I made a few scoring errors and omissions and all that will be corrected with next week's Fantasy Update. We are aware of the errors that were made for Daniel and Rouseau, so please refrain from emailing me about that.

Be sure to check out all the content below. If you've got any questions, consult the League rule book at the bottom of this post. If you can't find an answer to your questions there, shoot me an email at LFLquestions@gmail.com. I will do my best to get back to you as promptly as possible.

"THIS PLACE IS DEATH" in 600 words or less:

Jin still has no idea what the frak is going on. He doesn’t know how to get to his camp from the Frenchies’ camp but apparently he knows how to get back to camp from the radio tower, which he’s never been to. Impressive. Jin tags along but the group gets bushwhacked in the jungle by Smokey, who is clearly not a fan of the French. It drags Montand all the way back to some kind of temple. As expected, Montand loses his arm and, unexpectedly, the Frenchies lack the sense to not crawl into the dark hole their friend just got sucked down. Serves ‘em right.

Jin skips into the future a few months and gets front row seats to Rousseau killing her comrades. She starts shooting at him but he jumps in time again. Instead of being held at gunpoint by a half-crazy French chick, Jin’s now held at gunpoint by a scruffy Southern hick. Sawyer and Jin are equally surprised to see each other while everyone else displays a peculiar lack of interest.

On their way to the Orchid, the Left Behinders encounter a bunch of time jumps in a short amount of time. This drives everyone crazy and makes Charlotte pass out. In a cold display of prioritization, everyone but Daniel leaves Charlotte for dead in favor of putting a halt to all this space-time skipperoo. They reach the Orchid, which promptly disappears with the next time jump. Fortunately, Locke spots the well Charlotte mentioned through 30 yards of thick jungle foliage. The miracles never cease on this Island!

Locke promises Jin that he won’t bring Sun back to the Island and lowers himself down into the well. Halfway down, the Island does its thing again but Locke lets go of the rope. Instead of being trapped in dirt and buried alive, a la Nikki & Paolo, Locke falls all the way down to the wheel chamber and gets a lovely parting gift- a compound fracture to his shin. Meanwhile, Charlotte continues to espouse all kinds of trippy lines that culminate in some of the best last words in television history. “Red” is dead.

Christian Shephard isn’t very happy with Locke because he let Ben move the Island. Leave it to Locke to screw up yet another set of simple instructions. Ghost Dad tells Locke to fix his frozen donkey wheel and to say hi to his son. With that, Locke is gone, hopefully being sent to the lobby of a hospital. That leg looks nasty.

Back to the future we go! Sun pulls a gun, Kate’s full of hate, Jack wants to go baaaack, and Ben’s screwed again. Three of the five of the O6 present boogey off to God knows where. Sun lets Ben take her to someone who can prove Jin is still alive. Jack tags along like a good dog. On the way, Jack needlessly apologizes for Jin’s apparent non-death and says that if Ben is lying and Sun can’t bring herself to kill him, he will. Not because it’ll be about the one millionth time the Losties have been bamboozled by Ben but because Linus messed with “his” girl. Ben slams on the breaks and threatens to turn this car around if they don’t knock it off. Finally, someone as the balls to call Jack on something.

They come to a church. Ben gives Jin’s wedding ring to Sun and Desmond comes strolling out of the dark. Ben looks confused but rolls with it. He’s got a deadline to deal with. They all go inside and say hi to Ms. Hawking.

POINT RULINGS FOR EPISODE 5x05: “THIS PLACE IS DEATH”

1) The church counts as a new place for Sun and Jack. Ben told Sun that he was going to take her to a person who could prove Jin was still alive but he never gave any hints about the place they would end up. Thus, the church counts for New Place Points.

2) No one earns New Person points for Ms. Hawking. Ben hinted about her by saying she was the person who could prove Jin was still alive and Desmond mentioned the fact that she is Faraday’s mother. This gives Jack and Sun some sort of clue as to who they will be seeing inside the church.

3) Ms. Hawking doesn’t earn any points for meeting Jack or Sun. She knew who the Oceanic 6 were, as she is in league with Ben to return them to the Island.

4) Charlotte’s mention of the well disqualifies it for New Place/Thing points. Because Charlotte told Locke & company about it, Locke knew to look for it when the Orchid station disappeared.

5) The Wheel Chamber counts for New Place points. During the Season 4 finale, Ben told Locke he was going someplace cold. He did not describe anything else about the Wheel Chamber to Locke. Also, Locke had no way of knowing that what was at the bottom of the well was the same place that Ben went to.

6) Lacombe and Brennan’s bodies both count against Rousseau. She said earlier in the series that she killed her crew. Seeing their dead bodies with bullet wounds was enough of a clue to infer Rousseau had shot them both. Rousseau therefore loses points for kill Lacombe, Brennan and Robert.

7) We ruled that Christian Shephard was not an Island Vision. It’s easier to declare his appearances as Island Visions when he appears away from the Island itself, but because he referenced his encounter with Locke in the cabin, we believe that Christian was present in physical form.

There was a lot going on this week, but half of it didn't translate into points. The other half did, but half of that half resulted in massive point deductions! There's nothing like a boat load of death to get you in the mood for Valentine's Day, right? :-p

Season 5 Episode Scores:

Episode 5x05 Scores:

NOTE: Daniel was accidentally marked as being absent from the episode on the spreadsheet. His score for this week is incorrect. Rousseau's score is also incorrect. She was kissed twice during the episode and those Kiss Points were not included in this week's score. These scores will be corrected with next week's Update. The following breakdown contains the incorrect scoring/omissions.

ENCOUNTERS A NEW PERSON, PLACE OR THING (+10): Sun (the church); Jack (the church); Rousseau (Smoke Monster, the Temple); Locke (wheel chamber); Smokey (Jin and the Frenchies); Jin (the Temple, pillar of smoke, Rousseau’s music box)

This week we had six teams earn the title of Fantasy Genius of the Week! While "This Place is Death" wasn't very high scoring, the following folks managed to put up numbers when it counted: Team crackers, stewie griffin, Cmdr Spock's Team Sun, CalebIsLost, PhilofEathrock, Lost Numero Uno. Each of our Fantasy Geniuses this week earned 155 points!

WARNING: This section contains the title of the next episode and some conjecture on what it might mean. If you consider this sort of information to be spoilerish, then do not continue. If not...

Episode 5x06 is titled "316." So here's the deal- I have no clue what this episode title means. I was inclined to say it has some sort of religious meaning (a reference to John 3:16) but the absence of the colon makes me think otherwise.

So I have to wonder- what are there 316 of on Lost? There's nothing that I can figure out for sure. Perhaps the sum of the digits is important. In that case, 3+1+6=10. Does 10 have any significance? There's the Oceanic 6 and if you count Desmond, Ben and Locke, that makes 9. Is there another person that might need to go back? Walt maybe? Ji-Yeon? Frank? I really don't know and it's bugging the crap out of me.

From the previews, it looks like we'll be getting some info on how the Oceanic 6 (or what little is assembled of them) is going to get back to the Island. Hopefully this will mean learning a lot, because I'm itching to get to some action injected into this season. The Island hopscotching through time has sort of played itself out and we need something to keep Season 5 moving. Hopefully whatever "316" has in store for us will keep the action and energy going.

Come back next week and see how "316" works out for your Fantasy Team!