Thursday, August 28, 2014

The BEST Facebook Status updates from August 28th, 2011-2014:

My FACEBOOK FAN PAGE has been the best place to find unique Facebook status updates for four years now!* I've found the most-liked status updates from this date, 8/28, starting in 2011:

____ The judge says I'm a repeat offender, but he always says that. (Mike Seriously)
____ In case anyone was wondering how hot it is outside, I just saw a couple of Hobbits running by my house carrying a ring. (Gary Hensley)
____ Is bikini season almost over yet? I'm freaking starving. (Olivia May)
____ I bought a new thesaurus today. It's nothing to write house about. (Karanbir Singh Tinna)
____ Don't you hate when you do someone a favor and they get all angry?! I will never spit shine another persons glasses ever again... (Miguel Munoz)
____ "Hey! I have nothing to do! Please everyone come talk to me and give me more work!" - The impression I apparently give off whenever I am completely overwhelmed at the office. (Stacy Fournier)
____ I hate it when people call dogs "stupid". I mean, when was the last time you saw a dog step in human poop? (Rajat Behl)
____ Automatic flush sensors look an awful lot like hidden cameras. (S.r. Furst)
____ I once dated a girl with a parrot. That thing was crazy and never shut up! The parrot was cool though. (Enrico Hartzenberg)
____ I suffer from narcolepsssssssssssssssssssss (Danny Coleiro)
____ I kinda hope there's an escalator to heaven and not a stairway. I am kinda lazy and would hate to miss out. (Jack Olivar)
____ My doctor asked me if I drank alcohol. I said no. We laughed... (Angel May West)
____ It's not a real hangover until you bring a pillow into the bathroom. (Donna Hudon)
____ A cop pulled me over for weaving. I guess there's a law against making baskets while driving? (Mustache Mann)
____ I'm gonna call that ninja move "Upper Leg Cramp, Crying Father." (Todd Landon Wildig)
____ I found a library book I never returned from 2009. Luckily, I have no attachments and can hit the road. Start fresh somewhere new. (Karanbir Singh Tinna)
____ My friend wanted to meet someone the old fashioned way, so I offered sheep and land to a man she didn't know if he agreed to take care of her. (Coleen Sayers Bartay)
____ It's time to admit that as a species, we are just not ready for 4-way stops. (Karl Tate)
____ Hey. Guys. Hey. Guys guys guys. Are we, like, 1000% sure there's no caffeine in Red Bull? (Les Chinyanga)
____ "Oh Sh*t!!!!" - Flies (Lisa James)
____ If you read your timeline backwards it is about a person who hates everything and gradually becomes happier until they get a life. (Matt Storm)
____ Pepsi...for when they run out of Coke. (Fifi La Rue)
____ Some ugly person just called me shallow. (Karanbir Singh Tinna)
____ I don’t think my boss appreciated me jiggling my butt in her face this morning. But, in my defense she told me to “get twerk”. (Wi N Ter)