Friday, January 16, 2015

According to a tweet I just read by Reverand Billy and the People's Puppets of Occupy, Williams has abruptly pulled out of construction of the Rockaway Pipeline Project. Above a photo of the quick celebratory dance that ensued.

Some reliable sources, who might be little birds or people who really really like to make puppets (who can tell the difference between anything these days?), said they had reliable information from a Williams spokesperson that project managers "like totally freaked out" after reading Wayne Parry's muckraking expose on the Port Ambrose project. Upon, hearing that the Port Ambrose project "would make much more sense as an export terminal" a Williams' spokesperson uttered "hey now--what the frack are we still doing building this project to deliver into New York City for anyway when actually exporting off of our existing New York Lower Bay line would make more sense according to this crackerjack muckraking reporter Wayne Parry? This gig is up. We outta here."

The same sources said that FERC is considering referring to themselves as TWERK in an effort to make their hearings "more appealing to millenials and spirited creative activists who like to dance."

And in response to a Mark Ruffalo petition telling Sally Jewell to like "drop her fracking propoganda", a funloving fractivist called Jewell a whore, Jewell resigned in a huff and Obama asked Mark Ruffalo to be Secretary of the Interior instead.

JEWELL - YOU ARE NOT IN YOUR OFFICE TO PUSH YOUR OIL AND GAS AGENDA!!! THIS IS A CONFLICT OF INTERESTS AND YOU NEED TO STOP AND YOU NEED TO STOP YOUR ON WILDLIFE! YOU WERE NEVER QUALIFIED FOR THIS OFFICE AND YOU SHOULD LEAVE IT! YOU SAY YOU USE SCIENCE BUT YOU ARE FAR FROM DOING THAT - YOU ARE A POLITICAL AND SPECIAL INTEREST WHORE!

Anything is possible. What? Seems a little over the top? All of it could have happened. Many times more ridiculous things actually have occurred and are occurring right now.

P.S. The comment was real on the Ruffalo/Food and Water Watch petition to Jewell, which is real, and the picture is actually part of what the circus surrounding the Rockaway Pipeline which spilled over into Port Ambrose consisted and continues to consist of.