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Monday, January 23, 2012

One of the hundreds of loving moments which makes life worth living...

When I was thoroughly enjoying Sidney
Sheldon’s ‘Tell Me Your Dreams’, I was intrigued by the multiple personalities
of Ashley Paterson. It was unbelievable that a person could have a diverse personality
inside their psyche, that was until my own alternate personality took over me. My alternate
personality was called ‘Maa’ and it was completely opposite of what I was. The
advantage I had over Ashley was that, I was aware of both the sides of these
personalities and could interact with them. I am spared the mystery at least!
Whew.

Little Rayyan

Life was simple and boring until 20th
August 1991. At 7.18 a.m. on that day, the most wonderful moment of my life
took place. I gave birth to a child and I was born again. That is a
contradictory sentence, but that is how life has been ever since. When I say, ‘I
was born’, that is the beginning of my alter personality which started taking
over me and changing me into a Maa. Days have passed by, and finally, ‘Maa’
rules my life now.

I was a trouble maker as a child, but, as I
grew up, I sobered down. Though I had those temper tantrums, crying bouts and
other teen related symptoms; for most of my teen years I was quite, scared and
withdrawn young girl. I was afraid of the world. Loud sounds, fights, dogs,
cows, men, and eve teasers everything scared me in my teens. I do not
understand when and why the transition happened, but somewhere during my
adolescent time it took place slowly and unnoticed by me. On the other hand,
that could be one of the other alter egos taking over me, or just simple
growing up process. Whatever, I damn sure that I was not
the same person in my teens, as I am now or I was in my childhood. The present myself can relate well to the
childhood myself, but in no way can it see eye to eye with my teen self; which
was hollow, pretentious, always trying to please others, and nervous.

I am indebted to my children for returning my
own self back to me. Few Memorable moments I have enjoyed with my loving children.

Having fun with costumes

Another childish behavior of Maa LOL

Annie enjoying Farheena's birthday cake

Annie wears flowers in her hair for the first time.

The beach dramas...

Rayyan being extremely excited about his paper hat

Picnics are more fun with children

Cooking is fun when you cook for your kids. Their smile pays with happiness

Saturday, January 21, 2012

This is a well balanced and helpful review of my blog. If you like it get in touch with The Fool (Don't be fooled by that name ;) ) for a review. I have already implemented few of the tips given there and I feel it is giving out positive effects. Thank you The Fool.

Lucifer House Inc.: Chapters from my Life:Long back, I remember reading a book called ‘What Katy did’. One bit of conversation from that book had somehow stuck to my mind when I had read it. There is a character called Cousin Helen who tells Katy on becoming bed ridden that she is now a student in the “School of Pain” where she will learn lessons in patience, cheerfulness, hopefulness, neatness and the making the best of things. This came back to my head unconsciously when I was going over the blog ‘Chapters from my Life’. The blogger seems to have learnt a lot in the very same “School of Pain” and she is kind enough to share the learning with all of us. Her writings reflect a deep understanding of the essence of life and the value of every single moment in life.

The blog appropriately titled ‘Chapter from my Life’ puts forth some chapters from the life of Farida Rizwan, an Indian rural house wife who has been through a lot of really tough circumstances in life and has emerged stronger for the same. In addition to personal experiences, she writes poetry and shares thoughts on family, relations and life in general, caring for children and on fighting cancer. She herself has lost more than one family member to the disease and has a special needs child she takes care of. But that by no means makes the blog just a cancer support or child care blog. A few posts may pertain specifically to these topics. But the general public at large can relate to and have some takeaways from most of her posts.

I would like to point out some of the things that fascinated me most about her writings. In her articles on relationships, she has structured her thoughts really well and exhibits an amazing clarity of thought. Her personal experience posts are really vivid and capture all the key events associated with a particular incident in her life and the associated emotions in an interesting narrative. Her poems are a real delight. They come straight from the heart and reach straight to the heart. No pretensions, no unnecessary words, no complications! Hers are poems even someone who does not care much for poems can easily relate to. One unique aspect of her posts is that she makes most of her own illustrations. Self made illustrations add more personal touch to the writings and connect better with the reader than images from Google.

Her back drop is a combination of light and dark blue with checks like a shirt. I feel it looks too austere like a hospital ward. Since she writes about the gloomy topic of cancer also (though with a positive frame of mind), I wish she would lighten the environment of her blog with something more cheerful in the background. As far as widgets go, some of the navigation widgets are nice but overall I get a crowded feeling with too many widgets. I am not sure if the advertisement widgets bring any revenue at all. The award badges are nice, but she has won so many contests and I am sure she will win many more. Maybe it will be nice to have separate static page to display the achievements instead of keeping them all on the side bar. The general badges pertaining to blogger sites that do not bring much traffic can be done away with or moved to a not so prominent location close to the blog footer.

Coming to my favorite topic of navigation, I must say she has put reasonable efforts in this area. There is a related posts widget and labels have been used as tabs to segregate different post categories other than the regular archives. Also there are in- post links to other posts where ever there is some connection. However navigation is an area where there is always scope for improvement. Using labels as tabs, makes it a bit inconvenient as reader has to scroll down 10-15 posts on a single page. Instead, having links to the posts on a static page with some small description can make it more visitor-friendly. In my opinion, a blog is not a news website but more a living book. So one must constantly be revisiting and reorganizing content. One can always change content in an earlier post as one gets fresh thoughts and also add links to a later post if found relevant. The ease of access must be same for a 3 years old post as a 1 day old post. In literature, personal, photo and most travel blogs content is not dated. So as more and more content is developed, a serious rethink is needed to classify and re-organize the content. In some ways it is very similar to how companies keep restructuring their organization as they grow in size.

One more thing I would suggest while organizing content is to segregate contest posts from regular posts. It has been my personal experience that regular readers of a blog do not appreciate contest posts, especially the ones with narrow guidelines or where one has to talk about a specific product unless the blog itself is a product review blog. So it will be convenient if regular readers have some mechanism by which they can easily identify contest posts and skip them if they do not want to read them.

In terms of interaction, in the older posts, the interaction level is quite low. But in the more recent posts, it is seen every comment is read and responded to. The volume of comments is also quite good. For this type of blog, I feel the comments are sufficient interaction. I don’t see the need for any specific section for general interaction as is the case of information blogs.

This would be classified as a personal blog in most directories. But I find the very concept of a personal blog an oxymoron. A blog is something public. And personal is opposite of public. A blog should be classified from the point of view of the reader and not the writer. If a blog has no utility to a reader, then it is just a personal diary or a rough book. In this context I would prefer to call this blog an inspirational or motivational blog rather than a personal blog. It is the place to go to if one is feeling down in the dumps and that life has not been fair. This blog would definitely help lift up one’s spirits. Chapters from Farida's life also offer one lot of lessons about life in general.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Lord Wiki is
protesting against SOPA and PIPA. They have blacked out the English Wikipedia
for 24 hours, beginning at midnight January 18, Eastern Time. Readers who came
to English Wikipedia during the blackout were not able to read the
encyclopedia. Instead, we saw messages intended to raise awareness about SOPA
and PIPA, encouraging us to share your views with your representatives, and
with each other on social media.

I have had
enough of censorships in my life. For the beginning there was censorship in the
name of my being handicapped, then came the censorship based on my gender,
religion, status (being married woman) and many other factors; which entered my
life and changed me into something which I was not meant to be. I found refuge in virtual world where I was
free from these censorships, and could be myself; but, is that virtual life
under threat too?

What do I
hear? The internet is going to be censored in India also. Being technically
blind, deaf and dumb, I cannot apprehend the issue on hand properly. But the
news reports are enough to make even a simple internet user like me to
understand, that this is going to be censorship of our freedom in the virtual
world. Is another freedom fight on hand now against our own people? I hear that
Aseem Trivedi’s website ‘Cartoon against corruption’ was taken down without
even informing him. It was handled in a Hitlerian style. No court ruling was
involved. So, if someone finds a website offensive it will be brought down just
like that? Is there no need to decide whether the content of the website is
really offensive or not? I thought internet was a place where you could access
censored thoughts which cannot be expressed freely in reality. I first accessed
internet to read Salman Rushdie’s Satanic verses. I was absolutely sure that
the book is not going to corrupt me and I was right, it did not. My mind is
strong and cannot be influenced by simple books. I loved having access to
information that I censored for myself, because I am the best person to decide
what I should read and what I shouldn’t.

Is our
country so corrupt that it will fear cartoons making fun of its corruption? I
think this is just the beginning. In future there is going to be control over
what information needs to reach people. Anything can be deemed offensive for a
person. I myself consider my computer to be holy and I cannot stand anyone
making jokes about my computer. Does that matter to other people? There are so
many people who cuss and even kick their computers.

I do not
have enough power to stop what is happening but I would like to contribute my
two cents to the issue. Some wise person once said, “If you cannot burn like a
lamp, then be a mirror that reflects its light”.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

May be Manal is intimidated by the vastness of the sea... One of the best pictures I have ever clicked. Love this picture of the girl on the beach...

My niece Manal loved watermelons. One day she was excited, running around me, as I cut the melon into small pieces so that she could eat it without trouble. Here you go I said to her... To my utter surprise, she picked up the half melon I had kept aside for using later and started eating it. Some beautiful memories children leave behind for us to cherish forever.

Children are something special.. so sad they grow up fast.

Manal and Farheena were playing about, all of a sudden I hear light snoring and turn around to find Manal asleep in play position and Farheena confused as to what to do....

Farheena at her cutest best. I am so much in love with that picture of hers.

My sister was waiting to pee, but someone was in the bathroom and she could hear the water running. After nearly wetting herself, when she pushed the door, it was unlocked and who did she find there? Aayan, giving her a cute smile.

When in USA, I heard my son desperately calling out to me "Maa help! help me please". I rushed in to find him wrestling a crocodile.. Whew!
Some kids never grow up...

My nephew Shuraim was fascinated with the Farheena's collection of colorful beads. I found a way of making him wear all of them, for a fancy dress competition. All those beads were quite heavy and he soon lost his fascination...

When we asked Huzaifa who looked quite tensed to smile for a picture.. he came up with an instant smile in seconds. That was genuine too... only kids can do that.

I had dressed Farheena in a sari for occasion and decorated her hair with flowers. Then I had cooking to attend to, so left her. She was unusually quite, so I peeped back in to see what was happening. Farheena felt sad for Annie, her doll, who did not get any attention from me that day. So she pulled out the flowers from her hair and decorated Annie's hair.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Marriages are made in heaven and so are
thunder and lightning… Some wise person came up with quote which is so true.
When two different individuals try to become one, there are bound to be sparks
(of all kind and types), leading to some fiery situations; not only between the
individuals involved, but also between the people connected to them.

Being a very spicy person myself who runs
away from problem only to fall into their lap, my life has been strewn with so
many of such fiery relationship dramas. What best time can beat the one when we
have the KFC fiery contest running on indiblogger for me to share these fiery
dramatic events with you? So here I go.

I grew up in a close knit family. My
parents lived away from our native place, with four of us kids, which created a special
bond between the six members. My sister was main glue who held us together
more tightly. When my sister and I got married, the priorities in our lives
were supposed to change and we were expected to treat our better halves (if you
insist on calling them so) as ‘holy thou’. My sister was point blank in
shooting her condition that whoever married her should keep her with my Mom. I
was never given a chance for putting down any conditions, as my own marriage was
a big drama.

The Marriage Drama

Being a fiery girl from my childhood,
though a bit mild and cool as an adolescent, I don’t know what made people to
expect me become the ideal bollywood biwi kind of person all of sudden. Marriage
is not like childbirth which can change you over night. It was supposed to be a
slow process but my better half wouldn’t wait. He was very anxious to prove
that husband was important for a woman of all the relationships she has in her
life. Unfortunately, he chose the wrong timing for this.

My dad had been diagnosed with Hodgkin’s
cancer when I was in my Hubby’s home. I was devastated and wanted to leave for
Bangalore immediately. My mother in law was against me going away on short
notice, so she somehow convinced my husband that I was needed here in Byndoor
due to some functions and ceremonies which involved my sister in law and her
pregnancy. A very obedient son, my better half told me to wait for few more
days before leaving for Bangalore, and, immediately lost his always in doubt
status of better half. How could he not understand my turmoil of hearing the
news my dad being sick and me away from him?

Aghast and disgusted, not hiding my emotion
I asked him, “WHY?”

Instead of some worthy dialogue he came up
with a lame and limping explanation, “Because, I, your husband says so”.

“For God’s sake, this is no time for crap.
My dad is sick”

“Once you are married your priorities
change. According to our religion a wife cannot even attend her father’s
funeral if her husband forbids her. God has permitted people to bow only to
him, if ever he would have allowed anyone else to be worthy of such reverence
then it would be the husband. So you have to understand that now you have to
listen to me. I did not say that you shouldn’t go, I only said you go after few
days”.

This was a sticky situation in the early
stages of my marriage. It was not good to walk out of marriage as there were
too many things to consider, like my new born son, my dad who was sick and the
love we shared. I was also sure that this would not end the way he wanted it
whatever the outcome be.

No one had ever asked me whether I was devoted to any religion and accepted all the rules set by it. Somehow, it was
assumed to be so. Now there was no way I was going to listen to him and stay
back for a few days. Instead of being rash and rude, for once I became a witty diplomat.
I asked him to sit down and listen to me carefully and understand exactly what
I was saying because one more wrong response from him was going to create a scene
which he wouldn’t like and which would prove that husband is not so superior
after all. After getting him seated, I sent out my message in a cool and calm
voice, “You say husband is very important person in my life. You are my husband
today and you are the most important person of life. But you know what? If I
divorce you, and marry someone else, then that person is going to be the most
revered person in a matter of months. Many women have gone on to have 8 or more
such important beings in their lives. This does not happen to parents. I cannot
cease to be their daughter or they cease to be my parents for any reason. God
has a say in this relationship. Our bond (of husband and wife) is created by us
and it left to us to decide what we do with it. The love and respect I have for
my parents will never go away just because I created some more relationships in
my life.

Heartbreak....

In our relationship, let us not argue who
is important and who should rule. Let us think what is important at the moment;
whether a daughter visiting her sick father or a woman attending her sister in
law’s ceremony. So think it over and
answer because as I told you, our relationship is not in the hands of God. It
can break”.

I was not loud or rude, but I had a fire
burning in me and I was fierce at the moment. Good for us, he got the hint that
there was a huge volcano brewing in my heart and it was not safe to provoke it
to come out. It all ended well with me leaving immediately to visit my dad and
be there with him while the ceremonies went on well without me. This is only few of those lucky moments when
I have been diplomatic and calm. My usual self is more fierce and attacking
kind.

Some more side dishes to go with the main
course…

I had fiery spat with a father of a married
woman once. His daughter was married to a person who was a only son of his
parents. According to the Indian culture, she had live with her in-laws. It was
tough times for their family, as the son was not doing well financially. The
girl’s father while lamenting over the misfortune of his daughter complained to
me that parents should never marry their daughters in home where there are
parents- in law. That was something very tough to digest even with a hajmola. So
asked this person who himself had a son of marriageable age, “So are you going
to drink poison and kill yourself when your son gets married?” Shocked he
blurted “What?” I replied bitterly, “If all people think like you then your son
will never get married until you are alive”. That must have sent the message
because I never heard his complaints again.

When I was going through cancer, a close
relative once said, mockingly, “Hey! Look, you have lost all your hair”. It was
funny to imagine that I did not know that. My answer was “I haven’t lost
humanity yet”.

Someone found it amusing to make fun of my
club foot and said, “You have crooked foot”, I replied, “But it doesn’t lead me
on crooked path, the path that makes people stoop low and make fun of
disabilities”

A remark regarding my special needs child,
“Why did God give you this child?” I replied to this question honestly,
“Because he knows I can love a child unselfishly, without expecting anything
from the child in future, not making comparisons, and because I have patience
to deal with my child. God gave her to me, because he knew she cannot make
people like you happy”.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

When we think of love usually a picture of
beautiful young girl and a handsome young boy looking deeply into each other’s
eyes comes into our mind. This is the stereotype image we have of love. People
often tend to forget that love can be found in many other forms.

We have known
people who love their pets, plants and even inanimate objects like computer, car, camera or even a pillow.

One of the most amazing loves I have seen
in my life is the one shared between my Mom and her friend from NYC. My Mom had not been outside Karnataka, other than a few visits to Puttaparti and Mumbai. She
was not highly educated person and did not speak many languages. Obviously she
could not speak English.

Spiceeee....!!!

When Heidi King visited Whitefield, she was
a young and extremely beautiful young lady. I was child then and recall
that she was alone and had come seeking spiritual enlightenment in India.
Somehow my Mom and Heidi got connected; even with the language barrier they
made arrangements that Heidi would stay at our home in a room, and would pay a
small rent towards food and accommodation. It was going to be big makeover for
my mom to cook the food which could suite the palate of NYC lady. Coming from
coastal Karnataka region my Mom used to cook very spicy food which was too hot
even for me. I can well imagine the shock Heidi would have got if she ever
tried to taste our regular curry.

My Mom was a good cook, good in sense she
cooked food the way people wanted it. Thus, within days she was preparing
finger licking dishes for Heidi. She stayed in India for few months. During her
stay Heidi developed a very strong bond of love with my Mom.

Once, while cooking food, my mom burnt her
hand because she did not hold the rag cloth properly. Heidi went ahead to buy a
metal pot holder for my Mom that day and told her to be careful. My Mom must
have burnt her hand innumerable times while cooking, and no one had ever
bothered to care about it. That simple act from Heidi touched my Mom’s heart
very deeply. Here was a woman who was from other part of globe but could feel
her simple pain.

They both used to communicate without
language; I can say that because none was well versed in sign language either.
After her stay was over, Heidi said bye to us and went back to NYC. My Mom seldom
used the tool Heidi bought her, but we had it in our kitchen as long as I was there
and may be my sister-in-law still uses it. Once in a while, when cooking, my Mom would
look at the pot holder and speak about the friend she had, who connected with her without words.

Heidi came back to India again, this time with her
parents. My Mom’s joy knew no bounds. I remember we had five to six Americans
enjoying the food my Mom cooked for them back then. Heidi was the first person
I had seen with a camera. It was not usual for people to click photos in those
times. We had few precious pictures brought back to us by Heidi. She also bought me my first set of sketch
pens. Heidi had visited our native village Byndoor too. Being a great artist
she had sketched wonderful paintings of our village. She went back to NYC after
few months. In hectic schedule of life, we
eventually lost touch with her. Initially there were mails exchanged, but then
we kept changing our address and finally we lost contact with her. She was
always there in my Mom’s memory though. 25 or so years went by. My Mom would
fondly think about her and regret that we forgot to keep her address safely.

2000 was the era of computers and internet
in my life. One day I decided to give my Mom a surprise. I tried searching for
Heidi King, NYC in yahoo search. Those were the days when I did not know much
about google. Yahoo was my internet world. It threw too many Heidi’s at me. I
did not know which one to pick to start with. Someone mentioned to look in
white pages of excite.com. I tried it, there were lots of Heidi’s there but the
number had come down. I took the numbers of top ten and went back home. I kept
calling one Heidi a day, for a week. I would ask a simple question, “Have you
been to India?” Lucky for me, most of them were polite in their answers.
Finally on day seven I hit gold. I had found my Moms friend after nearly 25
years. Tears of joy were streaming down my Mom’s face as she spoke in her
broken English. Heidi had married and
settled quite late in her life. Consequently, after few phone calls and
connections, she and her amazing husband David, visited India once again. My
Mom and Dad were so glad to welcome the couple. They had fun and some 'not so
good adventures' during their stay. To top it all, they could attend the wedding
of my brother and also sister which took place on the same day. Heidi again
captured some memorable photographs with her digital camera this time
around.

Adventure:

Heidi and David had lots of fun in the
wedding. Though we had professional photographers clicking pictures, it was
Heidi who captured the most memorable picture of all with her camera. It was
the picture of Mom and Farheena laughing heartily. Now that I have lost my Mom,
the picture she captured means a treasure to me.

Heidi and David decided to visit Mysore
when they were in India. We could have accompanied them, but there were lots of
things to attend to in our family due the dual wedding; hence, my brother
arranged a good driver(?) and taxi for them to visit few places on way to
Mysore.

Heidi, though a New Yorker is very mild and
humble person. I cannot imagine her ever watching a violent movie or hearing loud
music. She is very soft spoken and simple person and same could be said about
David too. After they left, I went over to cool corner in Rajarajeshwari Nagar,
to have our favorite snacks with my son and daughter. It was our coolest joint,
which we had been missing. As I was about to eat my ‘masala puri’, I received a
phone call on my cell phone from an unknown number. I hesitated, but picked it
up to check who was calling. A man on the other side spoke in a gruff voice,
very rudely too, “Do you know these foreigners named Heidi and David?” The plate
of masala puri almost fell down from my hand, I stammered, “Yes, what happened to
them?” The man on the other side asked again, “Do you know them properly?” I
was almost shivering now. I tried to answer him in as calm voice as possible
that I knew them from my childhood. There was a pause and then I heard Heidi’s feeble
voice, “Oh Farida, we are in trouble”. Aghast I asked, “Where are you?” Her answer shocked me, “We are in police
station”. She was so scared and tired that she could not tell me anything more.
The person who spoke to me earlier was the inspector. He spoke again and told
me that, the driver had sponged off money from Heidi and David, had taken in
lots of alcohol, and after being drunk had hit an auto rickshaw. People
gathered and tried to stop the car; he did not bother to care where he was
going, but tried to escape. The infuriated mob had opened the door but he tried
to speed up again and drove with a man hanging on the door of the car. There
were some plain clothed policemen there who stopped him finally and took the
car to the police station. Heidi later
told me that they did not know the people in plain clothes were policemen, and
was very scared that they had been captured by some dacoits.

I
explained to the inspector that these people were quite safe and they could
contact me anytime for assurance. I could swear on the fact that they were safe
people. He asked me few more questions and then guaranteed that Heidi and David
would be safe. They were sent off by another taxi to Mysore by the police. I cannot
even imagine the horror the couple must have gone through when such turbulence took
place. They are quite mild and very sensitive people who speak almost in
whisper. The taxi owner suffered a great loss because the police seized his vehicle.
The driver had been nasty again and tried to escape from the toilet of the
police station. What a drama!

After David's stint with severe diarrhea in Mysore, things started
getting calm. They both loved the city of Mysore and clicked pictures of the city with their camera to share with their friends in NYC. Whew! I was glad
they were safe. All’s well that ends well. Sure that was an adventure to
remember.

Miracle:

I had some lengthy chat sessions with Heidi
while I was in Bangalore. During one of our discussion, she mentioned to me
that I should start writing, because I had good way of narrating incidents. She
is responsible for my blogging in a way. The time came when we had to say
goodbye to Heidi and David and come to Byndoor. They were supposed to stay for
some more days in Bangalore before leaving for NYC. It was sad saying goodbye
to them, because it was kind of final good bye for us. I could not imagine her
coming back to India again or we going to visit her. Both Heidi and David had
impressed me immensely with their knowledge and simplicity. I learned the truth
about Alchemy from David and that is one thing I will always remember him by.

Soon after Heidi's visit, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. She could not survive it
for more than two years. I was glad that she got to meet her dear friend Heidi
before saying good bye to all of us. I was devastated when my Mom was diagnosed
with BC, as she was the third person from our family with that diagnosis. My sister had lost her battle earlier and I was surviving under fear. I needed
support and got in touch with other survivors. Most of the people who connected with me were
from USA. By lending and taking support with other survivors, I got very close
to few of my friends. The bond we shared grew stronger when I lost my mom in
2006. I needed someone to lean on for support and my friends were there with
their weary but strong, supportive shoulders all the time. One fine day I decided that I should meet
them. It was a dream, because a trip to USA meant a lot of hurdles and lot of
money too. I was not very well off; I lived
in a tiny village, in a small home without TV, Washing machine and running water. The only gadget I insisted on having was, computer and internet, for the
sake of my sanity.

My friend Paula asked me to believe
in miracles. I did and the miracle finally did happen. I
managed to get visa and travel to USA with my kids; sacrificing the repairs of my home in the process. We spent the four best months of our lives with our
friends there. On our way back Judy had arranged for us to watch the fireworks
on 4th of July from her apartment in Philadelphia. Wow! We had a
great view and loved the show.

Finally, before saying bye to USA and coming back
to India we spent two days with Heidi and David in NYC. Heidi prepared a
wonderful dinner for us before we left. As we sat there eating together, it occurred
to us how amazing it was. 30 years ago Heidi had brought her family to India
and my Mom had cooked meals for them. No one would have ever imagined in their wildest
dream back then, that I would be visiting Heidi in NYC and she would cook for
me and my kids. I felt as though my mom was there with me at the moment and was
sharing the dinner with all of us. I could almost sense her presence. It was
one of the most amazing events of my life which is nothing short of a miracle. Heidi
showed me some amazing pictures she had captured of our family in India with
her camera. Unfortunately, she had just single copies of them. She promised to
send them to me as soon as possible and she kept her word. To this day, I consider
her gift to be a final connection I have with my Mom. Thank you Heidi.

Friday, January 6, 2012

Love is a very powerful tool which can
conquer, fear, greed and many other such dark lurking in human beings. When the
love is of mother to a child, then it has enough strength to bring about a
change in a person’s life. Being a Mom of two kids I have my personal
experience regarding a mother’s love and I assure you of this.

When I think about situations that have
sent down a chill through my spine, there are few incidents that come to my
mind all the time. They are unforgettable with passing years.

For the contest ‘Sets You On Fire’ on
Indibloger, where I am supposed to describe a fiery event or situation, either
real or imaginary; I am going to share one
of such events that took place more than a decade ago.

My son Rayyan was in the
nursery class of St. Joseph’s Convent, Whitefield. We stayed a little away from
school. Rayyan was very enthusiastic walker and would prefer walking long
distances every day. He was not one of those kids who cry to be picked up. So
it was decided, that I would walk him to school and back again in the evening
instead of hiring an auto rickshaw. With the money saved by not paying for the
transport, he could buy himself whatever he wanted. It was not much of a
distance if we took the short cut to school.

Walking to school was fun

Mud Mounds

We used walk on a path which lay near the
present day Arya Lotus. Some big project was going on there, maybe it was the
Arya lotus plan itself. Loads of soil
had been dumped into the plain land which lay to the right side of the path we
used to walk. It all lay there in heaps, forming big mounds with depressed
centers which looked like mini volcanoes. There were few kids taking this path,
fortunately, all of them enjoyed the walk; watching flowers, butterflies, birds
and at times even some small animals like rabbits which made our own journey
fun. Off course Rayyan used to enjoy it a lot and it worked as a good exercise
and relaxation for me. I was trying to cope with my daughter being diagnosed
with atrophy to her brain and this was something I just needed in a day.

Walking in the rain

One day it was raining very heavily when we
were walking back home. Rayyan was in the raincoat and I held an umbrella. All
the children were having tough time walking as the water kept flowing and it
was almost a foot deep at places. The place where heaps of soil had been dumped
was a bit low and it was full of water. There was no way a child could cross
that place. It also looked a bit scary with all the muddy water flowing through
the heaps. The water brought all kind of dirt and sticks with it. Going back to
the main road meant a lot of distance; unluckily the rain was also getting
heavier. The children were holding their bags higher up to protect their books.
I closed my umbrella, and lifted Rayyan up on my hips, against his protests and
started walking towards our home in hurried steps. It was quite difficult
walking in the pouring rain, not knowing where I was putting my steps. Twice I
stumbled on some vines but could regain my balance easily. I started walking
more cautiously after that. By then the water had started breaking the mounds
and the soil was spreading out. One moment I could feel a cold creeper cling to
my leg, and next there were panicked shouts from behind by the group of girls
who were walking behind us. I could not make out what they were saying until it
dawned suddenly, sending a chill through my spine. They were saying “HAAVU,
HAAVU, aunty haavu nodi” meaning ‘snakes, aunty look at the snakes’. I realized
that the creeper was in fact a snake clinging to my leg.
I had my child on the
hip and I could see few more small snakes floating by quite close to us. I stood
still as could I not put my child down or run with the water flowing so
forcefully. All I felt at the moment was a gushing concern for my son and children walking back home. My love for my son had overcome my fear. At the moment it also flashed to me that standing still was the
best way to avoid snake bite. Rayyan was anxious and kept asking me what was
happening. He had spotted two snakes floating in water and wanted to get away
from there soon. He had no idea why his mother was standing still watching them. I told him to be calm and wait until the path would clear up. Soon
I found the snake slipping away and flowing with the water. May be a snake had
made the depressed part of soil mound its nest. There must have been few baby
snakes there which had floated down with the breaking of their home. There were
helplessly being pulled by the flowing water. In a desperate move the snake had held on my leg. Eeewww!
Soon I realized it was clear for
us to walk ahead. The girls had also stood still and were shivering with fear. May
be they were non-poisonous and not so dangerous snakes, but the slithering
creature never fails to strike terror in heart. I called the girls to come over
as the way was now clear and they should clear that area soon enough. I could
not just walk away leaving those girls shivering in the rain. One of them had
lost her umbrella in the fright which had floated away in the water. I gave her my umbrella as anyway I could not use it myself. It took some cajoling on my part to make them
move ahead. I kept watch to see what the water was bringing along with it. The
girls were worried about me and kept asking me whether I was sure that the snakes
had not bitten me. Rayyan was crying now and it took some funny quips from me
to clear the mood which had become darker than the weather we were facing.

We reached home safely without any more
weird happenings. Once my child was in safety of his home, I rushed to the
bathroom to check out whether there were any bite marks on my legs. I realized that all the dripping liquid from body was not rain water, it contained a lot of sweat too. Fortunately,
my leg was clear. If I was alone, I would have done something stupid and landed
in trouble that day. It was the love of my child that had made me smart and
given me a fierce strength to do the right thing to save the day. Though I was
highly worried about my son, I also had some concern for the girls who looked
frightened and lost. Even to this day, it sends a chilly shiver down my spine
whenever I touch something cold and wet. As for Rayyan lost his fear of
snakes when I had calmly explained to the children that day, that snakes usually do not bite unless they are provoked and also most of the snakes are non-poisonous. He had only seen the brave front of me and had missed out my fear. To this day he runs around clicking pictures of snakes which are
abundant in our village Byndoor. Eeewwwww!!! Sharing some of his pictures here.