Then I got home:im so drunk that if someone took this piece of toast from me I would kill them.The poster is wrong. The poster should say KEEP DRINKING AND CARRY ON DRINKINGRain against my windows. So unnatural. RAIN IS UNNATURAL!MINIONS! BRING ME PORN AND CHIPS!Must sleep. I leave you with this. Good night you useless bastards that didn't bring me CHIPS!!!

29 April, 2010

It has been a difficult day for me. So instead of complaining I am going to write out a few good things that have happened recently:

I had an amazing massage today from a friend. She approaches massage from an osteopathic point of view, and I found her lifting, separating, and relaxing muscles in ways I have never felt before. I left the massage without the usual sluggish, sleepy feeling I get, and instead felt more awake, lighter, softer, and healthier. Wow.

I have been making a point of biking more. I am often out of breathe, but that's all the more reason to do it. I am determined to become more fit.

Although I did a shitty job on an internship project- despite spending eight hours on it- I did learn a lot about woodworking and construction. I also got to spend a great deal of time in the workshop alone with the various machines. Just me and the powertools, having a good ol' time.

I am enjoying my evening shoemaking class. I haven't written about it here yet because I've been too busy. And the shoes I'm making are UGLY, but I chose to try something new and challenge myself. More news on that soon.

Even though things have been really hard lately, and my body is reacting badly to the stress, I am pleased to say that I have suddenly discovered that I enjoy exercising. Pilates is my new addiction. I would do it every day if I could afford it. I love it so much I have motivated myself to exercise without the help of a workout partner for the first time in my life. I simply pre-buy the classes, and force myself to go as often as I can. I think I'm able to follow through because working out is no longer just for vanity's sake, but for sanity's sake as well.

Along with my exercise plan, I have also begun eating better. I used to eat because I had nothing else to do. And I would go days without eating a fresh fruit or vegetable. Now I make sure I eat something fresh at every meal, protein of some kind every day, and drink tons of water. In the midst of all this readjustment to my body chemistry, I have noticed that I've stopped craving cakes and junk food. I can see a cupcake, think it looks delicious, and still pass on it without feeling like I'm depriving myself. That's a new one, I must say....

I have friends that look out for me. I have friends that have hugged me and calmed me down and talked me down from emotional ledges. I feel that my friends have saved my life many times over. I am lucky that I have found such cool people in so short a period of time.

Oh and lastly..... I don't have to be in to my internship until the afternoon tomorrow, so that means I can sleep in for the first time in almost two weeks. YEAY!

27 April, 2010

My life is a nice mess of extreme emotions right now. My friends and my internship give me extreme (often creative) highs. For example, today I hemmed and hawed about leaving the house to go to my leather supplier. I needed to source some fabrics for my mentor and also pick out something for my evening shoemaking class. But once I left the house on a mission, I was so happy I could barely contain it.

It's so warm out today it could reasonably be called hot. It is sunny and clear and breezy. I walked along the canal and stopped to have a coffee and slice of cake by the water, while I read The Ethical Slut.

I then walked up to the new East London Overground (it opened today!) and took this silent, empty, smooth running train all the way to the docklands where my supplier rests in a cool warehouse stacked high with leather of every kind and colour. I wandered in, the owner recognized me, bantered with me, and secured his role in my life as Creepy Uncle Malcolm, the sex deprived leather supplier with a heart of gold.

Another example: last night I had dinner and drinks with my favourite redhead and we have planned to take some creative classes together, organise a craft weekend with our girls, go see some culturally educational shows, and all sorts of fun creative stuff. It's the best way to combine my favourite things- sexy friends and art!

Oh and another example: I've started taking classes at Frame and I'm becoming addicted to pilates. I can push myself, avoid hurting myself, and for the first time in my life, work my abdominals to the point of being in pain the next day. I'm so committed I've even scheduled an 8am class tomorrow just so I can get a workout in before I go to my internship.

What else.... oh, well this isn't a creative thing, but I have another piercing planned and I've decided I'm brave enough to do it. I think it's also a way of processing some difficult relationship stuff- pain, piercing, improving myself....

I am so in love with London sometimes. I have good friends, I have professional connections, and it's just plain awesome. Today just feels awesome. My feelings might have something to do with the raspberry mojito I'm sipping as I type this, but still.... awesome.

22 April, 2010

My design mentor moved to a new studio, and I haven't been able to work with him for a number of weeks now. I was starting to worry that he was mentally doing design work and I was missing out on all the fun. What with my limited time left in London, any day spent not learning or working is a day wasted to me. So I've wasted three weeks sitting on my ass and moping.

Today was my first day back, and I feel high.

Not only is his new studio open, bright and shared with a few really cool designers, there is an onsite workshop full of power tools and saws and and and! I get so excited by workshops, I can't help it. It's a dream come true- this is exactly the sort of space I would want to have as a designer.

Although I spent the day doing menial tasks for no pay, I was finally reminded of why I'm leaving my retail job and choosing to be a broke intern instead. THIS is where I'm supposed to be- covered in sawdust, learning to shape and pour my own resin heel shapes, working on 3d modeling for rapid prototyping, playing with leather, latex, wood, rope, foam, plastic, and metal. I'm supposed to be engaging in creative discussions and brainstorming ideas with real designers, not selling strangers shoes and bags made by other people.

This is a good thing. Even if I have to make pouty faces at my friends to buy me dinner now and again. Leaving my retail position is a good decision. I am sure of it now.

21 April, 2010

Out of morbid curiosity I joined OK Cupid. I had an account from five years ago back when it was still a quiz site with the dating aspect thrown in for good measure. Anyhow, my boyfriend has met one or two interesting people on the site, and turns out a lot of my poly friends are on it too. So what the hell, I updated my profile and put up a picture to see what would happen.

Three days, 56 messages, and a lot of eye rolling later, I have learned quite a bit about the dating world. It's not a world I'm at all experienced in, and it's rife with brilliant idiots and shitty grammar.

In summary, what I have learned through being on a dating site is that people's social skills are severely underdeveloped. Mine included.

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About the Redhead:

The self-indulgent and occasionally comical rambling of a San Francisco girl with unusually red hair who is living in, and writing to you from that li'l town called London while she navigates the world of design...