Real Men/Women of Genius #79

[Today we are indebted to our friend Toni Aurilio for suggesting the subject matter. Personally I (and perhaps many of you) have witnessed this very thing in

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, Jan 28, 2011

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[Today we are indebted to our friend Toni Aurilio for suggesting the subject
matter. Personally I (and perhaps many of you) have witnessed this very
thing in the past along various wooded trails--and in big city alleyways
during marathons--but never gave it much thought because men do it all the
time!]

Ingelhook Wineries present...

REAL WOMEN OF GENIUS

{Re-al gals of geeeeeene-yuss}

Today we propose a toast to you, Miss Let-It-All-Hang-Outer and
Generally-Standing-Pee-er Just One Foot Away from Every Other Runner on the
Path.

You get a kick out of it, don't you? Stepping quickly off to the side, but
without actually stepping more than 18 inches off to the side, turning your
sweet cheeks towards the line behind you, and just shoving your shorts'
crotch cloth aside and lettin' it *fly*--whether those shorts even have one
or not.

Skirts are easier, we know. Also those semi-fashionable new threads called
"skorts." Compression bike attire could delay you a tad, but you're not
worried about that. Your whole purpose here with such minimal--but
necessary--time wasting is to give us a show.

But we're curious. If there's snow on the ground, do you try to write your
name? If there's some puddle, do you wish to change its color? If you
happen to know there's more males following you than females, do you think
they really would like it better if you're standing or squatting? And what,
really, IS your very best angle for achieving your very best trajectory?

{"Butt I waaaaaaaas-n't read-yyyyyyy for au-diiiiiiiiiii-tion-ing with
Wic-ked Pic-tures!!"}

AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LEFT HAND?

{Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee shuddddddd-ddddddder to e-ven guess!}

So pull your hand--oops, we mean cork--quickly out from your White--or
possibly amber--Zinfandel currently stashed inside your backpack at the
finish line when you get there, O Grown-up Honeychild Who First Learned
about Peeing in the Pool, and be sure to offer swigs to the
four-hundred-and-at-least-fifty young men now--STILL--lined up behind you.
But may we suggest offering them the bottle...by using only your cold right
hand?