Ajax striker Luis Suarez has been handed a seven-match ban by the Dutch FA (i.e. the KNVB) after leaving an imprint of his dentistry all over PSV defender Otman Bakkal‘s fleshy parts when the two clubs met in the Eredivisie last Saturday.

Suarez has already accepted a two-match suspension from Ajax after the club reviewed video footage of the incident, and now the KNVB’s disciplinary committee have also issued their lengthy sanction for what they deemed to be an unnecessarily ‘violent act’.

The Uruguayan now has until this afternoon to either accept or reject the ban, but is claiming that there were mitigating circumstances in his decision to gnaw on Bakkal’s clavicle – he was ‘a little tired’:

“No, I do not regret what happened. Normally I always keep calm but I didn’t … I’m a little tired. This week I had to travel a lot.”

Aw, bless his little cotton socks, the poor lamb was just knick-knacked. Several weeks of enforced hibernation should do the trick!

sneijder has advised ajax to sent suarez on vacation. funny, he was just in indonesia (where uruguay won 7-0) for a friendly and now they’re saying it’s best to take another long plane trip to some exotic far away place. unless sneijder’s talking about malaga. but malaga in winter is NOT a fucking vacation.