8 rules to dating my daughter

I had a baby daughter in June of 1998 and the person who emailed the 8 rules thought I would get a kick out of it.

I still have quite a few years to go before I have to post the 8 rules in my home, but I still got a few laughs reading this thinking about my own teenage years.

I don't know who to give the credit to but if you are out there, you know who you are.

When I was in high school I used to be terrified of my girlfriends father, who I believe suspected me of wanting to place my hands on his daughters chest.

When she was young, there was no physical reason to do this.

We simply wanted modest clothing choices to already be established as she grew into the age when it would be necessary.

Is that because youre stupid, or did you merely want to APPEAR stupid? Why do you think I came up with the eight simple rules?

Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and will not object.

However, In order to assure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric staple gun and fasten your trousers securely in place around your waist.

" As a dad, I have some basic rules, which I have carved into two stone tablets that I have on display in my living room. My daughter claims it embarrasses her to come downstairs and find me attempting to get her date to recite these eight simple rules from memory.

One time, when my wife caught me having one of my daughters would-be suitors practice pulling into the driveway, get out of the car, and go up to knock on the front door (he had violated rule number one, so I figured he needed to run through the drill a few dozen times) she asked me why was being so hard on the boy. Id be embarrassed too, there are only eight of them for crying out loud!