Those bungling cretins at the TSA have now lost a cat: "Iris Yu left a lot behind when she left Queens to care for her ailing father in Taiwan 10 months ago. But she was finally set to reunite with her cat, Xiaohwa, courtesy of a friend who was leaving for Taiwan last Thursday and agreed to take the cat to her. When a Transportation Security Administration officer [sic for 'busybody'] at Kennedy International Airport inspected Xiaohwa's crate just before departure, though, the cat darted and disappeared into the bowels of Terminal 4."

And what is the TSA's response? An abject apology? A vow to quit prying into "crates" where government has absolutely no business going in the first place? Nope. As usual, it blamed the victim. One of its multitude of spokesliars "said in a statement: 'T.S.A. officers screened the pet and its carrier properly. It is unfortunate that the pet is missing at the airport. But, as a reminder, passengers are responsible for their pets throughout the screening process.'"

Meanwhile, as ABC News continues to document the Thieves and Sexual Assailants' robberies of passengers, the agency "offers several tips to travelers to reduce the chances of thefts." And no: "don't ever fly commercially because we're all kleptomaniacs who would steal your skin if it weren't fastened to you" and "order those criminals up on Capitol Hill who pretend they 'work' for you to disband us" aren't among them. Rather, the passenger is to blame when the TSA steals his stuff because he wasn't sufficiently vigilant: "Never let your belongings out of your sight when possible" -- love the "when possible" because the TSA itself requires passengers to "let their belongings out of their sight" -- "never pack anything valuable in checked baggage; always carry your own purse, wallet, passport and other valuables; always watch your belongings as they advance through X-ray equipment; and be aware of your surroundings and the people around you."

Take that, all you victims mourning the loss of iPads, money, jewelry and cats: it's your own fault.