Subject:The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Stuart McArthuron07/12/05 at 9:12 am

I thought it might be fun to put together an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan musical, made up of a string of Gilbert & Sullivan parodies (new ones) linked together with some tenuous shaky narrative, which I'll come up with after the submissions.

The title will be "The Pirates Who Penstanzas" and anybody can contribute any Gilbert and Sullivan parody from any G & S musical, but the topic must be about something AmIright-related, whether it be another author, or a well-known AmIright incident (all good-natured of course)

Anyone can contribute - no limit to number of contributions per author

RULES

In keeping with G & S musicals, which DO repeat melodies throughout the opera, a maximum of three parodies of each song will go into the final musical, so if three have already been done of the one you want to do (or nominate) you'll have to look for another G & S tune.

If you want to shore up one G & S tune for your own use (to prevent putting all the work in and being beaten by another submission) do so on this thread, then you'll have a week to write and submit it.

If you haven't posted it within a week (exactly) of nominating it, then that song is up for grabs again.

Remember the theme of your parody MUST be AmIright-related (hence the title of the musical)

I've already started off with this "Modern-Major General" one that I posted today...

So When Will Kristof Robertson Do One By Kris Kristofferson

for a good resource for lyrics and midis go to here - then click on the opera, then its "web opera"

PLOT SO FAR (saturday) :This is the plot so far.....

curtain opens to Scathe's depiction of Amiright as a Happy Kingdom, where the Pirates Who Penstanzas joyously pen their parodies, to all the ha- ha-ha-ha-has of Scathe's song.

But alas! there are dark clouds looming, as King Chucky is heavy of heart from continually having to battle the LEWD submitters, led by evil villain Penny Shortsock, who are jealously intent on breaking into Amiright and destroying the Pirates' happy smut-free existence.Ã‚Â

Stuey Poo, a lowly courtier, sees the sorry state King ChuckyG is in. It disturbs him and he decides to help.Ã‚Â He ponders his quest with the fellows in the village square, who all agree that AmIrght, whose spirit is encapsulated by the Top Ten Submittors, needs rescuing, but Stuey Poo knows he isn't powerful enough to do it on his own.Ã‚Â Someone suggests the good and decent Major-General Johnny D, and describes his qualities to Stuey Poo.Ã‚Â

Major-General Johnny D listens to Stuey Poo's proposal and agrees to help. They are determined to lift these pressures from King Chucky and restore his previously sunny disposition, so they decide to round up allies to fight the LEWD submitters.

As they reflect on the daunting task at hand, the Lewd Submitters are conceiving their most powerfull multi-pronged assault on Amiright yet - and they gleefully prepare with evil relishÃ‚Â Ã‚Â

Major-General JD and Stuey-Poo consider approaching the warrior Kristo Kristo, but Stuey Poo has reservations about KK's loyalty because Kristo Kristo once offended King Chucky's old ally, The Lord High CountryWesterner, Kris Pish-Tush Kristofferson.

Despite Stuey Poo's reservations (which hint at trouble down the track) they approach Kristo Kristo, who is enjoying himself dallying with his three little maids... - one of whom begs him not to go

to come:Ã‚Â another ally to be approached, who promises to help (or not to help)

the battle

the twist

the victory

and that's the current state of play

Further parodies will need to sit nicely WITH-IN the plot so far - to flesh it out - eg. from within the bowels of the Lewd Submitters' Lair - now done - by Johnny D

ALSO - we need characters - from AmIright - so anybody, please volunteer your name or a G&S mock-up of your name (ala Stuey Poo) and you'll get written into the opera even if you haven't submitted a song for it, or at least as part of the Dramatis Personae

PLOT DEVELOPMENT PARODIES NEEDED

1 - parodies from POV of warriors (you) being approached by General JD and Stuey Poo, and their reflections on amiright and/or Ã‚Â Ã‚Â Ã‚Â willingness (or not) to fight for the cause

2 - nerves on the eve of battle (altho a cyberbattle - not a physical one)

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Johnny_Don07/12/05 at 1:23 pm

Free MIDI sound files for the songs of "The Pirates of Penzance":

http://www.klos.org.uk/pirates/pirates_midi.htm

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Mistress Leolaon07/12/05 at 1:29 pm

Okay, I just submitted "Spying Stuff From Lewd Submitters" for the next posting.

:oÃ‚Â Good Lord, you're fast!Ã‚Â Excellent stuff!Ã‚Â Ã‚Â ;D

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Mistress Leolaon07/12/05 at 2:18 pm

So When Will Kristof Robertson Do One By Kris Kristofferson

Holy schi---

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Stuart McArthuron07/12/05 at 5:11 pm

Okay, I just submitted "Spying Stuff From Lewd Submitters" for the next posting.

Here's a sneak preview!Ã‚Â Ã‚Â ;D

"Sighing Softly To The River" Based on the perfomance by Gilbert and Sullivan"Spying Stuff From Lewd Submitters" Parody by Johnny D

This is a contribution to Stuart McArthur's project, "The Pirates Who Penstanzas".

Tormented with the stuff I've readIn parodies I'm shown

wow!Ã‚Â that's positively perfect!

great work JD - we need one more commitment for this HMS Penstanzas to float

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Johnny_Don07/12/05 at 5:19 pm

wow!Ã‚Â that's positively perfect!

great work JD - we need one more commitment for this HMS Penstanzas to float

Thanks, Stuart!

If no one else steps up to the plate, I can probably slap together another one. ;)

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Scatheon07/12/05 at 6:49 pm

If you're patient I can write a spoof of "The Flowers That Bloom In The Spring".Ã‚Â ;D ;D ;D

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Stuart McArthuron07/12/05 at 7:30 pm

Both those would be great, Leo and Scathe - thanks

Of course, Johnny's right - he and Kristof and I could come up with 6 or so which would be enough, but it would be good to get more of an AmIright representation.

I want Poopie to be in it (hopefully as a villain), although Poop songs would not make the cut as healthy box office (imaginary) takings would pragmatically be factored into the story write - and I'm sure Poopie, a lady of refinement, would be happy with that :-*

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Stuart McArthuron07/12/05 at 8:36 pm

"The Crap I Dread..."

LOL!

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Rick Don07/12/05 at 11:58 pm

Johnny, did you try to submit to that site you posted? I tried and it bounced. Naturally, the parodies there are meager compared to the mighty Amiright.

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Johnny_Don07/13/05 at 12:44 am

Johnny, did you try to submit to that site you posted? I tried and it bounced. Naturally, the parodies there are meager compared to the mighty Amiright.

I haven't tried submitting to that site, Rick.Ã‚Â I wonder how they collect their material ?

Stuart --- I submitted a corrected version of "Spying Stuff From Lewd Submitters".Ã‚Â The first version, which I posted earlier here on this thread, was missing two chorus refrains, and was also missing some helpful pacing punctuation-notation that I added to the second version.

To my fellow AmiRight Savoyards --- please read, comment, and vote only on that second, corrected version when it posts.Ã‚Â I sent a PM to Chucky G asking him to post only the second, corrected version --- if he accidentally posts both, I will ask him to remove the first version.

Here is what the second, corrected version will look like when it posts:

"Sighing Softly To The River" Based on the perfomance by Gilbert and Sullivan"Spying Stuff From Lewd Submitters" Parody by Johnny D

This is a contribution to Stuart McArthur's project, "The Pirates Who Penstanzas".

Tormented with the stuff I've readIn parodies I'm shown

On my mouse-pad I bang my headMy stomach turns and groans

At how the pornographic gistOf songs turned into noise

Can make one want to try to fistOr buy oneself some "toys" !!

Or buy oneself some "toys" ? Ha-ha !!

Appalled, I swill,Gin, ale, and pills,To set my mind at ease

So ill, I'm green,From lusty scenes,I'm spying full of sleaze

Spying stuff from lewd submitters!See their parodies,Set the censors all a-quiver,Hustling stupid sleaze!

Stupid sleaze!

When I look, and take their measure,Censorship is just ---While their Doppler-radar pleasureRaves tornadic lust!

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Scatheon07/13/05 at 12:52 am

;D ;D ;DI just submitted the spoof I promised. I'll post it here on the next site update.

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Stuart McArthuron07/13/05 at 1:47 am

Thanks to Johnny, the first broad brushstroke of the plot has emerged - the villains are the lewd submitters - the earnest do-gooders so far are Johnny and myself - and I'm a little peeved at Lord High Kristo-Kristo and his 3 little maids for snubbing The Lord High Exec-Country/Westerner, Kris (Pish-Tush) Kristofferson

anybody else want to cast themselves?(name a character - either using your own name or a Gil/Sullesque one)Ã‚Â

better still write a G and S parody and I will twist the plot to accommodate it, and your character

looking forward to seeing where yours takes us Scathe ;)

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:agrimorfeeon07/13/05 at 7:31 am

I would like to stake a claim on the Lord High Executioner's Song (aka "I have a little list") from The Mikado. In spite of my earlier claim of not being able to do parody "by commission", I hit upon an inspiration this morning. It will probably be about the Top 10 parody submittors.

I will let you folks know if it's a flop idea, but be patient. I can't spit these out lke Johnny did ( :o)!

EDIT: This is working out splendidly! Will post on the site probably by Friday!

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:K1chydon07/13/05 at 2:07 pm

IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m tempted to join in, but my current vacation is coming to an end in just a few days and IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m already in the process of finishing up previously started parody projects.

However, at the very beginning of this vacation I did order some CDs, including the full PoP by G&S. Unfortunately that turned out to be one of the 2/10 the company couldnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t deliver from stock in Sweden and I have not yet received it since apparently they havenÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t either.

Though should it arrive in the next couple of days I will of course give it an immediate listening, and if any suitable idea should arrive alongside that listening... well, you get the point.

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Stray Poochon07/13/05 at 5:19 pm

I'd like to try "My Name is John Wellington Wells" because I am still slightly sane and that should put me over the edge. I have no idea what I am gonna come up with yet, but it's just such a fun G&S song. Wish me luck.

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Johnny_Don07/13/05 at 5:34 pm

I'd like to try "My Name is John Wellington Wells" because I am still slightly sane and that should put me over the edge.Ã‚Â I have no idea what I am gonna come up with yet, but it's just such a fun G&S song.Ã‚Â Wish me luck.

Good luck, my friend!Ã‚Â Ã‚Â ;D

I can't resist offering a couple of goofy title suggestions ...

" A Famous Song Man's What I Am "

" A Flame Can Burn Well All Your Smell "

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Stuart McArthuron07/13/05 at 9:04 pm

okay, thanks to 2 submissions today from Johnny D and Scathe, this is the plot so far.....

curtain opens to Scathe's depiction of Amiright as a Happy Kingdom, where the Pirates Who Penstanzas joyously pen their parodies, to all the ha- ha-ha-ha-has of Scathe's song.

But alas! there are dark clouds looming, as King Chucky is heavy of heart from continually having to battle the LEWD submitters, led by evil villain...............(possibly P. L-S.) who are jealously intent on breaking into Amiright and destroying the Pirates' happy existence.Ã‚Â Major-General Johhny D, and his loyal minion Stuey Poo, are determined to lift these pressures from King Chucky and restore his previously sunny disposition, so they decide to round up an army to fight the LEWD submitters.

The first person they think of approaching is the warrior Kristo Kristo, but Stuey Poo has reservations about KK's loyalty because Kristo Kristo once offended King Chucky's ally, The Lord High CountryWesterner, Kris Pish-Tush Kristofferson.

But, despite Stuey Poo's reservations (which hint at trouble down the track) they approach Kristo Kristo, who is enjoying himself dallying with his three little maids...

and that's the current state of play

Further parodies will determine where we go, so please jump aboard this happy HMS anybody - or can anyone write a parody that sits nicely WITH-IN the plot so far - to flesh it out - eg. from within the bowels of the Lewd Submitters' Lair

ALSO - we need characters - from AmIright - so anybody, please volunteer your name or a G&S mock-up of your name (ala Stuey Poo) and you'll get written into the opera even if you haven't submitted a song for it, or at least as part of the Dramatis Personae

:D

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Stuart McArthuron07/13/05 at 9:10 pm

oh, also, for ALL characters, songs and MIDIs from every Gilbert and Sullivan play

go toÃ‚Â Ã‚Â All G & S lyrics / MIDIs

hint:from the home page, mouse-over the play you want, then click on "WEB OPERA" for all the songs/lyrics/MIDIs

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Johnny_Don07/13/05 at 11:05 pm

Submitted for the next posting:

"A Rollicking Band of Pirates We" Based on the perfomance by Gilbert and Sullivan"A Rollicking Band of Perverts We" Parody by Johnny D

This is a contribution to Stuart McArthur's project, "The Pirates Who Penstanzas".

A rollicking band of perverts we,Who, tired of watching "Pay T.V.",Are trying their hand at some parodiesOf pornographic stories!

Hush - hush!They've logged-on King Chuck-y's Am-i-Right!

With mouse-ly clicks the per-verts are now in sight!

We are now writing our you-know-what!Let General Johnny now rebut,If he is able, our filthy smut,'bout General Johnny's whoring!

If he is able their --

FILTHY SMUT!

If he is able our --

FILTHY SMUT!

If he is able their/our filthy smut,'bout General Johnny's whoring!

They post porn-o, with filthy pride!Our Zone (A)'larm Pro will now --- us hide!

Porno, porno! Porno, porno!Porno, porno! Porno, porno!

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Stray Poochon07/13/05 at 11:28 pm

Good luck, my friend! ;D

I can't resist offering a couple of goofy title suggestions ...

" A Famous Song Man's What I Am "

" A Flame Can Burn Well All Your Smell "

Thank you for the suggestions, Johnny, but I must decline. That's because instead of your suggestions I have taken YOUR IMMORTAL SOUL - BUWAHAHAHAHAH! Oh, no wait, just your AmIRight career. This is a tribute to the Great Johnny D - I submitted it just after midnight. Enjoy - or cringe. You can run . . . :D Apparently, there is a filter on this board that changes b-itch to "witch". I used the "B" word in the parody.

His Name Is John "Johnny D" Smalls

Oh, his name is John "Johnny D" SmallsHe's a writer who likes curtain calls.He'll seldom use cursesin clever-filled verses(Well, now and then "bitches" or "balls.")If you want a proud show to get "fixed"(Or you just want a song about hicks)You have only to call on the good "Doctor Hall"Class of 1776!

He's a first-rate perverter of dittiesAnd for raising a "posthumon's" shade*With effects that are silly or wittyThere's no better pen in the trade.

Smut-filters, he knows the ways of 'emWith such knowledge he never gets burnedHe tells all the prudes they can shove 'em (We love 'im!)And brings us uncensored returns!

With matches so magical, porno-puns tragicalPacing spectacular, humor Star Trek-ularTracts gastronomical, flatulence comicalAnd, if you want it, heTakes a production and spoofs it in quantityO-h-h-h-h-h-h-h,

If any one's looking for kicks.You'll find some spectacular tricks!You have only to call on the good "Doctor Hall"Class of 1776!

He can raise you throngs of dongs(And that without erectors)And geeky herds of nerdsAnd crabby, cackling spectresHe can tell the truth - or spoofThe monsters we've all feared, andHe can bramage dains with painsOr sing you a song of Cir-dan.

Then, he can speculate, on choosing flounder baitHe can make fun of hate, tell how to masturbate, Sing of chicks who inflate, or techniques to fellate, Or if he feels sedateHe begs his lover to brand him and flagellate.

But in totality his rationalityHas the morality of all mortalityShowing his malady, spoofing all validly, Such are his talents, heIsn't the man to be mired in a fallacyO-h-h-h-h-h-h-h,

His name is John "Johnny D" SmallsHe's a writer who likes curtain calls.Nobody here cursesHis pleasured-filled verses (Though prob'ly he gets kinky calls.)If any one's looking for kicks.You'll find some spectacular tricks!You have only to call on the good "Doctor Hall"Class of 1776!

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Stray Poochon07/13/05 at 11:40 pm

And for raising a "posthumon's" shade*

You have only to call on the good "Doctor Hall"**Class of 1776!

* Johnny coined this word in "Cacklin' Ghostie" as a synonym for "Ghost" which makes my use redundant - but whaddaya gonna do?

** Johnny played Dr. Lyman Hall in the Concord Players' (IIRC) production of "1776"

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Stuart McArthuron07/14/05 at 12:03 am

Here are some of the more famous G and S tunes - lyrics and MIDIs - (or that I knew, anyway)- all the other lesser know ones are at the same site

(each song can be used a maximum of three times - purple ones have already been claimed (number of times is shown)

To claim a song, claim it on this thread - the claim is good for a week

Ã‚Â Ã‚Â HMS Pinnafore

I'm Called Little Buttercup (1)

The Captain Of The Pinnafore

When I was A Lad

Ã‚Â Ã‚Â The Mikado

A Wandering Minstrel

The Lord High Executioner (1)

Willow Tit-Willow

The Flowers That Bloom In The Spring (1)

Three Little Maids From School Are We (1)

Ã‚Â Ã‚Â Pirates Of Penzance

When A felon's Not Engaged In His Employment

Poor Wandering One

Modern Major-General (1)

Sighing Softly To The River (1)

A Rollicking Band Of Pirates We (1)

Ã‚Â Ã‚Â The Sorcerer

The Sorcerer's Song (1)

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Scatheon07/14/05 at 2:41 am

Submitted for the next posting:

"A Rollicking Band of Pirates We" Based on the perfomance by Gilbert and Sullivan"A Rollicking Band of Perverts We" Parody by Johnny D

This is a contribution to Stuart McArthur's project, "The Pirates Who Penstanzas".

A rollicking band of perverts we,Who, tired of watching "Pay T.V.",Are trying their hand at some parodiesOf pornographic stories!

Hush - hush!They've logged-on King Chuck-y's Am-i-Right!

With mouse-ly clicks the per-verts are now in sight!

We are now writing our you-know-what!Let General Johnny now rebut,If he is able, our filthy smut,'bout General Johnny's whoring!

If he is able their --

FILTHY SMUT!

If he is able our --

FILTHY SMUT!

If he is able their/our filthy smut,'bout General Johnny's whoring!

They post porn-o, with filthy pride!Our Zone (A)'larm Pro will now --- us hide!

Porno, porno! Porno, porno!Porno, porno! Porno, porno!

LMAO :D :D :D :D :D :D

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Johnny_Don07/14/05 at 7:34 am

Thank you for the suggestions, Johnny, but I must decline.Ã‚Â That's because instead of your suggestions I have taken YOUR IMMORTAL SOUL - BUWAHAHAHAHAH!Ã‚Â Oh, no wait, just your AmIRight career.Ã‚Â This is a tribute to the Great Johnny D - I submitted it just after midnight.Ã‚Â Enjoy - or cringe.Ã‚Â You can run . . . :DÃ‚Â Ã‚Â Apparently, there is a filter on this board that changes b-itch to "witch".Ã‚Â I used the "B" word in the parody.Ã‚Â

His Name Is John "Johnny D" Smalls

Oh, his name is John "Johnny D" SmallsHe's a writer who likes curtain calls.He'll seldom use cursesin clever-filled verses(Well, now and then "witches" or "balls.")If you want a proud show to get "fixed"(Or you just want a song about hicks)You have only to call on the good "Doctor Hall"Class of 1776!

He's a first-rate perverter of dittiesAnd for raising a "posthumon's" shade*With effects that are silly or wittyThere's no better pen in the trade.

Smut-filters, he knows the ways of 'emWith such knowledge he never gets burnedHe tells all the prudes they can shove 'em (We love 'im!)And brings us uncensored returns!

With matches so magical, porno-puns tragicalPacing spectacular, humor Star Trek-ularTracts gastronomical, flatulence comicalAnd, if you want it, heTakes a production and spoofs it in quantityO-h-h-h-h-h-h-h,

If any one's looking for kicks.You'll find some spectacular tricks!You have only to call on the good "Doctor Hall"Class of 1776!

He can raise you throngs of dongs(And that without erectors)And geeky herds of nerdsAnd crabby, cackling spectresHe can tell the truth - or spoofThe monsters we've all feared, andHe can bramage dains with painsOr sing you a song of Cir-dan.

Then, he can speculate, on choosing flounder baitHe can make fun of hate, tell how to masturbate, Sing of chicks who inflate, or techniques to fellate, Or if he feels sedateHe begs his lover to brand him and flagellate.

But in totality his rationalityHas the morality of all mortalityShowing his malady, spoofing all validly, Such are his talents, heIsn't the man to be mired in a fallacyO-h-h-h-h-h-h-h,

His name is John "Johnny D" SmallsHe's a writer who likes curtain calls.Nobody here cursesHis pleasured-filled verses (Though prob'ly he gets kinky calls.)If any one's looking for kicks.You'll find some spectacular tricks!You have only to call on the good "Doctor Hall"Class of 1776!

555!!!Ã‚Â ;D

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Johnny_Don07/14/05 at 9:06 am

I claim "The Nightmare Song" from "Iolanthe" ! ;D

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Mistress Leolaon07/14/05 at 10:05 am

His Name Is John "Johnny D" Smalls

Oh, his name is John "Johnny D" SmallsHe's a writer who likes curtain calls.He'll seldom use cursesin clever-filled verses(Well, now and then "witches" or "balls.")If you want a proud show to get "fixed"(Or you just want a song about hicks)You have only to call on the good "Doctor Hall"Class of 1776!

Outstanding!

Alas, G&S has failed to inspire any good ideas from me, so I will decline participation. But you guys are certainly on a roll -- looking forward to seeing the final work when it's complete.

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:agrimorfeeon07/14/05 at 10:07 am

Here's mine! I'm quite proud of it.

http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/gilbertsullivan16.shtml

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Stuart McArthuron07/14/05 at 10:11 am

from Stray Pooch

Thank you for the suggestions, Johnny, but I must decline.Ã‚Â That's because instead of your suggestions I have taken YOUR IMMORTAL SOUL - BUWAHAHAHAHAH!Ã‚Â Oh, no wait, just your AmIRight career.Ã‚Â This is a tribute to the Great Johnny D - I submitted it just after midnight.Ã‚Â Enjoy - or cringe.Ã‚Â You can run . . .Ã‚Â Ã‚Â Apparently, there is a filter on this board that changes b-itch to "witch".Ã‚Â I used the "B" word in the parody.Ã‚Â

His Name Is John "Johnny D" Smalls

Fantastic stuff, Stray Pooch, as I commented over on Latest Comments - I wasn't sure what (or if it was a) G&S song when you first posted it here, but it's masterfully done - and about a master!

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Johnny_Don07/14/05 at 11:01 am

Fantastic stuff, Stray Pooch, as I commented over on Latest Comments - I wasn't sure what (or if it was a) G&S song when you first posted it here, but it's masterfully done - and about a master!

You're doing wonderful work here, Stuart --- keep it up!

One proofreader's note --- I believe it's "Band", not "Group", in the title, "A Rollicking Band of Pirates We".

Thanks!JD

( P.S. -- I claimed "The Nightmare Song" from "Iolanthe" )

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Stray Poochon07/14/05 at 12:27 pm

I claim "The Nightmare Song" from "Iolanthe" !Ã‚Â Ã‚Â ;D

Is that the one that goes "When you're lying awake with a dismal headache and repose is taboo'd by anxiety . . .?" (And that's all I remember.) If it is, have a blast!

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Johnny_Don07/14/05 at 4:45 pm

Is that the one that goes "When you're lying awake with a dismal headache and repose is taboo'd by anxiety . . .?"Ã‚Â (And that's all I remember.)Ã‚Â If it is, have a blast!

You are correct, Stray Pooch --- that is indeed the song!

Submitted it for the next posting:

"The Nightmare Song" Based on the perfomance by Gilbert and Sullivan"King Chucky's Nightmare Song" Parody by Johnny D

This is a contribution to Stuart McArthur's project, "The Pirates Who Penstanzas".

When you run a web-site, you may try as you mightTo maintain a facade of your piety

But you'll see some may use, randy language they chooseTo indulge in, with loud impropriety

While the randy hackers eat their SPAM and crackers,Snickers, Slim Jims, and Maraschino cherries

You stare and you mourn so, as gut-wrenching pornoIs raping your CPU wildly

You bawl and you howl and to call this stuff foulIs without a doubt putting it mildly ----

Your computer's a wreck,And it's sicker than heck,And a blundering whore,Gives a thundering roarFrom its screen, and within,There's an unholy grin,That was left by a creep,For years deftly did sleep,Then it woke up and rose,And applied all its woes,And some stuff that it flung,Turned your hard drive to dung,And a virus attacked,Without warning or tact,And you find yourself venting to Rover ----

But the hackers, at last --

Have now run out of gas --

And their blight was quite long --

-- ditto ditto my song --

-- and thank goodness they're both of them over!

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Stuart McArthuron07/14/05 at 5:09 pm

unbelievably brilliant stuff, JD - and perfect for convincing Stuey Poo exactly how dire the consequences of inaction would be - beautiful rhythm and beautifully rhymed and internal-rhymed

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:philboon07/14/05 at 6:35 pm

Super, JD :D ;D

I've had ideas for three verses so far.. unfortunately, they're from three different G&S songs: The Duke of Plaza-Toro, The Mikado's Song and There Lived a King... if I can only reserve one, I guess it'd have to be "The Mikado's Song".

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Stuart McArthuron07/14/05 at 7:22 pm

Super, JD :DÃ‚Â ;D

I've had ideas for three verses so far.. unfortunately, they're from three different G&S songs: The Duke of Plaza-Toro, The Mikado's Song and There Lived a King... if I can only reserve one, I guess it'd have to be "The Mikado's Song".

Phil, you can only reserve one at a time - but once it's done, you can reserve the next one - although as each song can be used up to 3 times (see rule change at start) being shut out from a choice shouldn't be a likely concern

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Stuart McArthuron07/14/05 at 7:32 pm

also, the initial posting on this thread has been updated to include plot development, midi files, and the list of songs that are taken/takeable, and there are also plot development ideas that need parodies (from anybody)

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Johnny_Don07/15/05 at 12:43 am

I challenge each contributor to "The Pirates Who Penstanzas" to post a picture of themselves in the role they are playing!

I shall be foolhardy and go first ...

" Major General Johnny D reporting for duty! " ;D

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Scatheon07/15/05 at 1:57 am

I challenge each contributor to "The Pirates Who Penstanzas" to post a picture of themselves in the role they are playing!

I shall be foolhardy and go first ...

" Major General Johnny D reporting for duty! "Ã‚Â Ã‚Â ;D

Looking sharp. ;D

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:philboon07/15/05 at 2:53 am

" Major General Johnny D reporting for duty! " ;D

So that's a General Johnny in D Major, is it?

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:philboon07/15/05 at 2:55 am

2 - from the POV of character King ChuckyG, bemoaning, early in the opera, his losing single-handed crusade against The Lewd Submittors

I'll take that, to "The Duke of Plaza-Toro"...

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:philboon07/15/05 at 6:02 am

Here we go...

"Full of Smut and Porno" to "The Duke of Plaza-Toro"

On a website that's called amirightThe songs people were writingWere full of naughtiness that mightBe thought (by some) excitingThough Chucky G's a patient manHis patience was soon gorn-oThey're full of thoughtAnd so well-wroughtBut rather naught-Y ParodiesThey're full of smut and pornoThose songs are downright rude, ha ha!They ought to be eschewed, ha ha!They're full of thoughtAnd so well-wroughtBut rather naught-Y ParodiesThey're full of smut and porno

When, to prevent entendres, noughtOf which very really "double"He instituted rules he thoughtWould save him all this troubleBut when he checked his inboxThere to greet him in the morn-oWere EnervatingIrritatingMaster baitingMelodiesSo full of smut and pornoSuch very silly fools, he thoughtCan't follow my new rules, he thoughtSuch EnervatingIrritatingMaster baitingMelodiesSo full of smut and porno

When told that they would be chucked outUnless they went up-marketSome authors the rude bits sucked outThe rest just thought "Oh, fark it"They sent their smut submissions inNow Chucky G's forlorn-oHe's gonna fightFor amirightThe only siteFor parodiesBut full of smut and pornoNow Chucky'd like to say, that heIs gonna get his way, is heHe's gonna fightFor amirightThe bestest siteFor parodiesSo no more smut and porno!

(edit to spell "entendres" right... damn! I've just submitted it)

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Stuart McArthuron07/15/05 at 7:15 am

Here we go...

"Full of Smut and Porno" to "The Duke of Plaza-Toro"

On a website that's called amiright....

Good on you, Phil - you nailed it perfectly :D

I actually wanted one from the POV of King ChuckyG, but I'll just adjust the plot to make it from the POV of a courtier observing ChuckyG trying to fight the good fight against insufferable odds - might even work better, I'm thinking

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:K1chydon07/15/05 at 11:52 am

DonÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t really know how to introduce this so IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ll just say that itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s a (still underdone) idea from my sketch book that might (with a little more work/help) fit in as a TALKING part between songs in this big parody project. (IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve done some changes myself already, for this posting, but IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m not up to speed on the whole project so...)

ItÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s based on that famous scene in the movie Ã¢â‚¬ÂA few good menÃ¢â‚¬Â where Jack Nicholson delivers an early draft for the current American administrations policy and yet gets defeated by mental suicide bomber scientologist Tom Cruise.

As for this parody and in this context IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m imagining JackÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s lines to be said by the good side who are fighting against lewd parodies. Names are of course to be altered as needed to fit the project, and as I said in the beginning, this is under-cooked, so donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t hesitate to improve on it. If improved and then agreed upon here maybe it could be posted as a Room Full Of Monkeys submission?

Col. Nofun Whazzup (Nathan Jessep): You want pranksters?

Lt. Ditty Coffee (Danny Kaffee): We want lewd spoofs!

Whazzup: You can't handle lewd spoofs! Son, we live in a world that has balls, and those balls have to be guarded by men with puns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, (Insert name here)? I have a greater (donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t insert profanity here) than you can possibly fathom. You *beep* for (Insert name here) and curse the privates. You have mouth laxative. You have the laxative of not knowing what I know: that (Insert name here) breath, vile garlic, probably saved lives. And that my pencil, while sophisticated and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't need lewd spoofs Ã¢â‚¬â€ because deep down, in places you donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t strut around in panties, you know IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve bigger balls. You need my bigger balls. You use words like hooker anÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ (I_am_a_loser_who_has_no_respect_for_women), literally. We use synonyms as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. We have neither the time nor the desperation to explain ourselfs to men who rises and *beeps* under the blanket of the very freedom that we defend, and then questions the manner in which we abide it! We'd rather you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise, we'd suggest you pick up a pencil and take a shot. Either way, we don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to!

As I said, it's still under-cooked though, an early draft, really.

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Stray Poochon07/15/05 at 7:19 pm

This is a little something for the lewd submitters to sing. It is from the PoP. It's the "hymn" to poetry (Hail Poetry!)

Although Our Sordid Spoof (Por-no-graphy!)

Although our sordid spoof sometimes involves a lot of swearing.Let Chucky raise the roof, we're altogether void of caring.Although it gives him strife, we're never sorry to begin it.For what, we ask, is life without a touch of porno in it?

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Johnny_Don07/15/05 at 8:23 pm

I claim "When I Was A Lad" from "H.M.S. Pinafore".

I'm working on a parody in which the "Lewd Submitters" sing of their dastardly plan to slay King Chucky with their pornographic postings!

The parody will be titled, "We're Evil And Bad".

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Stuart McArthuron07/15/05 at 9:42 pm

DonÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t really know how to introduce this so IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ll just say that itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s a (still underdone) idea from my sketch book that might (with a little more work/help) fit in as a TALKING part between songs in this big parody project. (IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve done some changes myself already, for this posting, but IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m not up to speed on the whole project so...)

ItÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s based on that famous scene in the movie Ã¢â‚¬ÂA few good menÃ¢â‚¬Â where Jack Nicholson delivers an early draft for the current American administrations policy and yet gets defeated by mental suicide bomber scientologist Tom Cruise.

As for this parody and in this context IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m imagining JackÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s lines to be said by the good side who are fighting against lewd parodies. Names are of course to be altered as needed to fit the project, and as I said in the beginning, this is under-cooked, so donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t hesitate to improve on it. If improved and then agreed upon here maybe it could be posted as a Room Full Of Monkeys submission?

Col. Nofun Whazzup (Nathan Jessep): You want pranksters?

Lt. Ditty Coffee (Danny Kaffee): We want lewd spoofs!

Whazzup: You can't handle lewd spoofs! Son, we live in a world that has balls, and those balls have to be guarded by men with puns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, (Insert name here)? I have a greater (donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t insert profanity here) than you can possibly fathom. You *beep* for (Insert name here) and curse the privates. You have mouth laxative. You have the laxative of not knowing what I know: that (Insert name here) breath, vile garlic, probably saved lives. And that my pencil, while sophisticated and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't need lewd spoofs Ã¢â‚¬â€ because deep down, in places you donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t strut around in panties, you know IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve bigger balls. You need my bigger balls. You use words like hooker anÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ (I_am_a_loser_who_has_no_respect_for_women), literally. We use synonyms as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. We have neither the time nor the desperation to explain ourselfs to men who rises and *beeps* under the blanket of the very freedom that we defend, and then questions the manner in which we abide it! We'd rather you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise, we'd suggest you pick up a pencil and take a shot. Either way, we don't give a darn what you think you are entitled to!

As I said, it's still under-cooked though, an early draft, really.

I've learnt more about G and S in the last week, Peter, than in the whole of my life prior, and one of the things I've picked up is that even the dialogue between the songs in the operas broadly rhymes

- so I'll definitely put it in (especially the "You can't Handle The Truth" idea) but I might have to turn it into a shortish-lines rhyming exchange to give it that G&S feel.

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Stuart McArthuron07/15/05 at 9:48 pm

btw, naturally I reserve the right to try to make a cohesive G and S opera out of all the contributions, and it's looking good so far.Ã‚Â I promise that if I do have to alter any submissions, I won't be altering (or adding to or deleting from) the content, and the only changes would be plot-functional, such as altering the tense or whether the voice is first-person, third-person, etc.

The only other housekeeping would be having to omit a submission if I have too many focussed on the one point in the plot (eg. if I get any more about how Amiright is under siege from the Lewd Submitters, I'd have to drop one of them)

It would be funny to make it as Gilbert and Sullivanesque as I can in between all the songs, and I'm looking forward to doing that bit - I think I'll probably make this Friday the last day for submissions

if you want to get your name on the authorship list, check the first post on this thread - go down to the section listing which plot developments need parodies, and below that is a list of OS's and MIDIs to choose from

or, if you just want your name in the Dramatis Personae, think of a G&S name for yourself and post it here.

:D :D

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Johnny_Don07/15/05 at 10:51 pm

Submitted for the next posting:

"When I Was A Lad" Based on the performance by Gilbert and Sullivan"We're Evil And Bad" Parody by Johnny D

This is a contribution to Stuart McArthur's project, "The Pirates Who Penstanzas".

We're evil and bad and worse than wormsAnd love to spread our pornographic germs!We'll sleaze your Windows with our randy roarsAnd we'll punish you with porno made of pigs and whores!

We'll punish you with porno made of pigs and whores!

We'll punish you with porno so brazenlyYou'll bow to us Submitters of Pornography!

We'll punish you with porno so brazenlyYou'll bow to us Submitters of Pornography!

We scoff at light and play in the darkAnd depraved we all post all our lewd remarksPerverted wits with a smiling leer ---- and we often scrawl it better after kegs of beer!

We often scrawl it better after kegs of beer!

We often scrawl it better when drunk, you see,So bow to us Submitters of Pornography!

We often scrawl it better when drunk, you see,So bow to us Submitters of Pornography!

Perverted wits have gained us some fameAnd our art of cruel work we'll soon proclaimA whoring dollar, and some randy tunes,Are your crass initiation to our crew of goons!

Are your crass initiation to our crew of goons!

That crass initiation made us what we be,And now we are Submitters of Pornography!

That crass initiation made us what we be,And now we are Submitters of Pornography!

In carnal knowledge I'm superlatively skilledSo they took me in their Submitters-GuildAnd when their Submitters-Guild you joinWell, you on-ly think from then on with your groin!

Well, you on-ly think from then on with your groin!

But that way of thinking suited me,And now I'm a Submitter of Pornography!

And that way of thinking suited he,And now he's a Submitter of Pornography!

I grew so lewd that I was sentTo attack King Chucky and his ParliamentI'm always jotting down a randy scrawlAnd a clever thought I'm thinking is the best of all

A clever thought he's thinking is the best of all

I thought of battle with the King Chuck-yHe'll bow to us Submitters of Pornography!

He thought of battle with the King Chuck-yWho'll bow to us Submitters of Pornography!

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Stuart McArthuron07/16/05 at 12:54 am

LMAO!! That is just brilliant, JD - that could BE a G and S song

- and those Lewd Submitters just WOULD have their own Guild, wouldn't they? - pretentious bastards ;D

btw the first post has been updated today

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:AdamEccon07/16/05 at 2:08 pm

Not being good with parody by commission (and only knowing the Major General's song), I'll not put in a parody, but feel free to use my name (Or suitable G&S approximation) if you still need characters :)

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Stuart McArthuron07/16/05 at 2:21 pm

Not being good with parody by commission (and only knowing the Major General's song), I'll not put in a parody, but feel free to use my name (Or suitable G&S approximation) if you still need charactersÃ‚Â :)

and with that, you're in - I'll try to make you a good guy, Adam, but alas no promises ;)

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:philboon07/16/05 at 4:56 pm

4 - the battle, (which needs to incorporate a means by which AmIright beats the Lewd Submitters at their own evil game)

What's the trio song called, where Nanki-poo, Ko-ko and Poo-bah are arguing? ISTM that that one would make an excellent (if somewhat difficult to write) battle song...

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Matthiason07/16/05 at 5:33 pm

Ã‚Â Ã‚Â Ã‚Â So... if a song is claimed once already, it can't be used again by another person or what? ::)

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Stray Poochon07/16/05 at 8:02 pm

What's the trio song called, where Nanki-poo, Ko-ko and Poo-bah are arguing? ISTM that that one would make an excellent (if somewhat difficult to write) battle song...

I am not sure of the name, but I suspect you are talking of "To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark, dock, etc." That would be fun. I just don't know if my addled brain could handle another patter song.

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Stuart McArthuron07/16/05 at 9:54 pm

Ã‚Â Ã‚Â Ã‚Â So... if a song is claimed once already, it can't be used again by another person or what? ::)

Matthias: maximum of three parodies per OS - the first post on this thread has all the rules

I'm closing submissions soon, and there hasn't even been 2 of an OS yet, so all are up for grabs - but they'll need to be plot-based (see first post for tips on that too) :)

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Stuart McArthuron07/16/05 at 9:55 pm

What'sÃ‚Â the trio song called, where Nanki-poo, Ko-ko and Poo-bah are arguing?Ã‚Â ISTM that that one would make an excellent (if somewhat difficult to write) battle song...

Phil: battle scene is half done, but I'll have a look at it

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Stuart McArthuron07/17/05 at 1:33 am

I've learnt more about G and S in the last week, Peter, than in the whole of my life prior, and one of the things I've picked up is that even the dialogue between the songs in the operas broadly rhymes

- so I'll definitely put it in (especially the "You can't Handle The Truth" idea) but I might have to turn it into a shortish-lines rhyming exchange to give it that G&S feel.

Peter (K1) - closer inspection of a full G&S opera reveals there is plenty of non-rhyming dialogue between songs, so I'll definitiley include your idea "You can't handle Lewd Spoofs!" as there is a perfect spot for it. Thanks!

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:philboon07/17/05 at 4:51 am

I am not sure of the name, but I suspect you are talking of "To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark, dock, etc." That would be fun. I just don't know if my addled brain could handle another patter song.

That's the one: I can't remember the OS, as I was in a Mikado parody a while back and the parody version of that one's stuck in the brain.. it finishes off:

You'd need to be a gloomy ghoul to gladly gloatAt the offer of an outing in a big black boatAs the guest of guys who want to find how far you'd floatHaving comfortably encased you in a concrete coatGladly gloat - big black boat - far you'd float - concrete coatIt must me masochismTo think what you life is missin'Is an offer to go fishin'In the very latest fashionIn a con..CreteCoat

...truly sublime :)(though the Poo-Bah part of the trio is equally good:I've heard it saidThat when you're deadFrom a shot in the headYou feel no painBecause the brainThat does all the feeling'sAll over the ceilingThis seems to meA fallacyI could be wrongIt won't be longBefore you know for sure)Scary in a way: this was nearly twenty years ago, and I can still remember the words...

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:philboon07/17/05 at 3:53 pm

Stu - is there room from a plot point of view for a "Wandring Minstrel, I" parody along the lines of:

Phil:Ã‚Â If you write it I'll put it in, as with all the others, although I have 3 from the Lewd Submitters POV now, and it would throw it a bit out of balance.Ã‚Â I do want that OS used though, as it's one of the ones that everybody knows

I still need an independent heroic ally who agrees to help us (a la Achilles in The Illiad) - and "The wandering minstrel" would be perfect for him

but if you've got it half-written, and all your lewd gags all ready, don't waste them - I'll put it in during the battle scene somewhere - straightening out this opera into a coherent narrative is already like trying to cram a dozen live snakes up an exhaust pipe - so the final result will be interesting just for that exercise alone :-\\

(hint hint) I'd love to have one of the three little maids imploring her boyfriend not to fall victim to the Lewd Submitters on the eve of battle (pity "Billy Don't Be A Hero" isn't a G&S song :()

Ã‚Â Ã‚Â Ã‚Â

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Johnny_Don07/18/05 at 10:38 am

Submitted for the next posting:

"The Battle of The Pirates of Penzance" Based on the performance by Gilbert and Sullivan"The Battle of The Pirates Who Penstanzas" Parody by Johnny D

This is a contribution to Stuart McArthur's project, "The Pirates Who Penstanzas". Stuart might edit this parody and change some of the character-names to fit the final version of the overall story-line.

Now what is this, and what is that, and why does General Johnny singAt such a time of night as this, about Chuck-y, our stalwart King?

Sir Johnny is, and always was, the most laconical a man!It's his invariable rule to sing as little as he can!

What strange occurrence can it be that calls Sir Johnny now to singAt such a time of night as this, about Chuck-y, our stalwart King?

We yield at once, with humbled mien,Because, with all our faults, we love Drag Queens!

Yes, yes, with all their faults, they love Drag Queens!

Yes, yes, with all their faults, they love Drag Queens!

Away with them, to the Drag Queen Bar!

One moment! Let me tell you who they are!They are no members of the common throng;They are all horny men who have gone wrong!

They are all horny men who have gone wrong!

No stanza-penning Pirate unmoved that statement hears,Because, with all our faults, we love both straights and queers!I pray you, pardon me, ex-Lewd-Submitter-King!Leers will be leers, and you still have your thing.Resume your pranks and pornographic duties,And take my Dachshunds, all of whom ate Roofies!

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:philboon07/18/05 at 2:25 pm

I still need an independent heroic ally who agrees to help us (a la Achilles in The Illiad) - and "The wandering minstrel" would be perfect for him

When you say "help us", do you mean help the LS, or the non-smutty crew?

Should it be:A parodista, INo writer from the sewerI write what's clean and pureAnd never a titty in sightI want my favourite site To stop being so muckyThat's why I'm helping ChuckyTo clean up amirightTo clean up a-a-a-miright

but if you've got it half-written, and all your lewd gags all ready, don't waste them - I'll put it in during the battle scene somewhere - straightening out this opera into a coherent narrative is already like trying to cram a dozen live snakes up an exhaust pipe - so the final result will be interesting just for that exercise alone :-\\

One or two ideas, but nothing so exciting it has to go in

(hint hint) I'd love to have one of the three little maids imploring her boyfriend not to fall victim to the Lewd Submitters on the eve of battle (pity "Billy Don't Be A Hero" isn't a G&S song :()

To "The sun whose rays", maybe?Ã‚Â Or as a duet to that one that Katisha and Ko-Ko sing together (which name escapes me)... now that's a really fun one to parody :)

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

To all of my fellow Pirates Who Penstanzas --- that's it --- I'm done --- please, all of you -- carry on, to GLORIOUS VICTORY !!! ;D

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Matthiason07/18/05 at 6:41 pm

The Porno Freak Cried As Chuck Kicked Him Out From The Gilbert and Sullivan Operetta, Mikiado's The Criminal Cried As He Dropped Him Down

The Porno Freak cried as Chuck kicked him outSaid he had got other pissedWith a swiftful slap upon his frownChuck shook his cyber fistHe reached him by countless E-MailsAnd added Spam did kingAs he cussed and sworeAnd bought some more PornoHe's banned for eternity, For Eternity

And we shall never Forget that nightOr the song that parodied heThough I miss songs dirtyBut will never write theeFor banneded I shall be

He never meant wellHe'll burn in HellTil a new name he prevailsHe'll always tryTo parodizeSex but only fails

He flipped off Chuck as he resignedWith a last flip of the birdWhen all of a sudden he used his mindAnd he seem to come unnerved For he shook his head and took his standAnd he wrote of fair ladiesAs the same were tooClothes see thoughTo serve his lower vertebrae, Low vertebrae

Though he was afraidThe song he madeTwas cheering that night was heAnd oh he's glad To read comments atHis brand new parody

With much distasteMade the king paleHe's messing with ChuckyHe must of crackedTo return from sackedA duel's all this means

Now though you may have read what's dead is dead(For dead was the parody)Chuck sent a paycheck for knights in redFor white knights were too priceyIt was none but the finest Amiright squadsAnd pimp ass as could beFor they clearly knewThis guy is thoughCause a man of this degree, of dis degreeWill be gone I vowFor they shall ploughTwill be deathly sight to seeThis quest they're sentShown no respectAll songs must prove discreet

This horny youthChuck went to sleuth

And found his porno crazeTwill spray the maceUpon his faceHis eyes are both ablaze

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Stuart McArthuron07/18/05 at 9:27 pm

When you say "help us", do you mean help the LS, or the non-smutty crew?

Should it be:A parodista, INo writer from the sewerI write what's clean and pureAnd never a titty in sightI want my favourite site To stop being so muckyThat's why I'm helping ChuckyTo clean up amirightTo clean up a-a-a-miright

definitely that one! - for the non-smutty crew - that's a fantastic start :) - I really want to go over the top on the wry melodrama aspect - one side's dark and evil - the AmIright side is as pure as the driven snowÃ‚Â (btw what IS driven snow?)

To "The sun whose rays", maybe?Ã‚Â Or as a duet to that one that Katisha and Ko-Ko sing together (which name escapes me)... now that's a really fun one to parody :)

I'll have to check it out, because I might do that one myself if it's that good, but if you have ideas for it, PM me, and you do it

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Stuart McArthuron07/18/05 at 9:35 pm

SUBMISSIONS CLOSED

I now have 14 completed parodies, and a few still coming in, so please no more submissions - I'm hereby closing it early, otherwise I won't be able to fit everyone's parody in, and I want to get them all in.

The full list of submitted parodies (with MIDIs) is on the updated first post of this thread, so let me know if I've overlooked one, or forgotten to add it to the list - note I haven't added links to everyone's actual parodies, to try to preserve some element of surprise, but they're easily findable on the AmIright New Entries pages.

Those of you still halfway through a submission, keep going and PM the finished result to me by Wednesday.

Thanks everyone!

Now to try to put order to the madness - those of you tipping that there may be some very contrived plot developments, you will NOT be disappointed ::)

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Kristof Robertsonon07/19/05 at 3:47 am

SUBMISSIONS CLOSED

I now have 14 completed parodies, and a few still coming in, so please no more submissions - I'm hereby closing it early, otherwise I won't be able to fit everyone's parody in, and I want to get them all in.

The full list of submitted parodies (with MIDIs) is on the updated first post of this thread, so let me know if I've overlooked one, or forgotten to add it to the list - note I haven't added links to everyone's actual parodies, to try to preserve some element of surprise, but they're easily findable on the AmIright New Entries pages.

Those of you still halfway through a submission, keep going and PM the finished result to me by Wednesday.

Thanks everyone!

Now to try to put order to the madness - those of you tipping that there may be some very contrived plot developments, you will NOT be disappointed ::)

Darn it!!I've actually got one finished for the OS that I nominated (Three Little Maids...) but I was away for 4 days on business so couldn't get near a PC to post. Let me know if there's room to include it, Stu...otherwise I'll post it as an independent parody.

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Stuart McArthuron07/19/05 at 7:11 am

Darn it!!I've actually got one finished for the OS that I nominated (Three Little Maids...) but I was away for 4 days on business so couldn't get near a PC to post. Let me know if there's room to include it, Stu...otherwise I'll post it as an independent parody.

Yours is one of the 14, Kristof - they're listed on the first post on this thread - so in your case, read past "Submissions Closed" to "Those of you halfway through..." which applies to you and 3 others.

It's also the only "3 Little Maids" parody I'll have so I definitely need it as it's a G&S high-recognition-factor OS.

And post it as an independent parody anyway, which everyone else has done - because I might have to make minor "continuity" changes to it for the opera version, as explained above

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:jreubenon07/20/05 at 8:05 am

Yours is one of the 14, Kristof - they're listed on the first post on this thread - so in your case, read past "Submissions Closed" to "Those of you halfway through..." which applies to you and 3 others.

It's also the only "3 Little Maids" parody I'll have so I definitely need it as it's a G&S high-recognition-factor OS.

And post it as an independent parody anyway, which everyone else has done - because I might have to make minor "continuity" changes to it for the opera version, as explained above

Stu, I'll have mine to you today (might not make Chucky's update, but I'll definitely send it directly to you...I'm about 3/4 done.)

Subject:Re: The Pirates Who Penstanzas - an AmIright Gilbert and Sullivan production

Written By:Stuart McArthuron07/21/05 at 2:52 am

Every submission is in, and I can't take any more (figuratively too) as the plot is bursting at the seams trying to accommodate the nineteen songs already.

All included submissions are listed on the first post of this thread. (John Barry submitted a lot of Gilbert and Sullivan songs for his own amusement, and they weren't about AmIRight, so I couldn't use any of them, although I tried to bend the plot for one possibility, but I'm sure he didn't write them for the opera anyway.)

I have written half of the opera and I'll work on it over the weekend and hopefully post the full opera on Tuesday, on this message board.