Saturday, December 19, 2009

Lately we have been in touch with a woman who will be helping us with adoption funding. She has given us (uh, me, really) the assignment of writing our story so that we can share effectively with people who may want to help us. I sat down late last night only to come down with a case of writer's block. The problem isn't that I don't know our story; it's just that when it comes right down to it, our story is fairly simple. We believe in adoption. We believe it is the way we are meant to build our family. We believe that every child deserves a loving family, and we believe that we can be that to a child who does not share our DNA. And...and...I've always just known. My heart has always known that what would make my family mine would not be common DNA, but a different kind of bond. Can I just say that and not have to say more? Is it fair to our daughter to go into the deeper issues of tragedy and famine and epidemics and need? I want her story to belong to her, and I want to be her mother because I simply want to be her mother, not because I feel like I should save some poor orphan or be a noble human being. Of course it makes sense that if there are children who need families and we can be a family to a child, we would put the all of us together in one basket and call it good. But to take it further than that? I'm not sure that's the right way to go.

2 comments:

I think you should give her this paragraph. It's beautiful and simple and true.

One of my best friends got her new baby boy (through an LDS agency) two days ago after a four-year wait. The birth mother picked their profile out of a giant stack; she said what stood out was their honesty and the simplicity of Rebekah's passionate desire to be her baby's mother. It was what she felt when reading it, and it had nothing to do with all the details about their family and activities and the unlikely son they were already lucky to have. I think someone responsible for this decision- to help you fund the process- would feel your absolute sincerity and perfect understanding in anything you write.

I wish they could read your blog. I love how you express your good sense and sweet understanding of the kids you care for, and how you've explained your reason for adopting here, where you simply "think out loud."

I believe that, like my friend, you'll get the Magnolia you were meant to have, and I hope it's very, very soon. Merry Christmas!