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A Lifetime

Someone I held dear to my heart unexpectedly left the earth last week. Benita Beth Barden – Bebe, my sister-in-law, was a special and remarkable woman. She was the sister of my first husband, a wife, the mother of four, grandmother of seven, great-grandmother of two, and adored by all.

What she taught me this week was the lesson of the the word, “Lifetime” – that space between first and last breath. How we fill up what we are given with friends and family and experiences. How we celebrate gains and mourn losses. How we carry on a conversation for as long as we can – and then the lifetime of expression has no more space. No more talking points. No more laughter over shared wine or tears over tea.

We made promises to each other that we were not able to keep. Planned getaways and retreats that were continually postponed. “Life” got in the way altogether too often. I regret that we did not push harder to spend more time with one another or giggles over silly things that no one else understood. Her voice echoes inside my mind.

Bebe was a strong woman – to live a full life one must be. She was a writer, a poet and a spiritual guide. She transformed scrub Texas acreage into a remarkable and welcoming ranch. She brought longhorns to the pastures and created unique spaces for her family. She always held a shoulder to lean on and knew just the right words to settle an aching heart.

We were confidants, we were sisters, we were playmates and soulmates and friends.