We didn't start the fire (You've just stoked our ire)

Apr 19, 2015, 06:20 IST
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Rahul Da Cunha

I hope all is well this Sunday morning. I’m happy that the Bengalis, the Malayalis and the Punjabis were able to celebrate Shubho Nobo Borsho, Vishu, and Baisakhi respectively without any incidents of violence

Dear Reader,

I hope all is well this Sunday morning.

I’m happy that the Bengalis, the Malayalis and the Punjabis were able to celebrate Shubho Nobo Borsho, Vishu, and Baisakhi respectively without any incidents of violence.

Illustration/Amit Bandre

Sorry, just being cynical. But in the new India, secularism seems to have devolved into ‘wreck-ularism’.Okay, confession time — I’ve always wanted to be a songwriter. So am engaging in some plagiarising. Only and only to seek your verdict on whether I can cut it as a songster. Remember Billy Joel? For all you young Turks, he was one of those 80’s funky musicians, who merged protest and prose with equal aplomb.You’ve heard of a song called ‘We Didn’t Start the Fire,? Yes, I know all you oldies who frequent The Ghetto groove to it.And you Jazz By The Bay karaoke addicts, sing it every Friday night,All you netizens, now that Net Neutrality is in place, download the song for free. Am so happy with the state of the nation, my heart isbursting with hope and optimism. Enough for me to write my first ‘gaana’. Please be kind in your judgement. Not for my views, but my verseRemember, read these words to the tune of the Billy Joel anthem. Here goes.

Scandals, scams, crores been burntNow the son and heir’s returnedWill he lead? Or finally pack?The nation wants to know

Then we got the BJPSo much hope that we’ll be free‘Acche din’, massive winNaMo in the house

(Chorus)We didn’t start the fireIt was always burningSince the world’s been turningBut you’ve stoked our ireInflamed passions higher‘Make in India’ ‘Chai ke charcha’‘Ghar wapasi’ is the mantraBeef bans, Land plansPM’s in another land

Muscles flexed, Muslims vexed, Police state, ConversiongateWhat we read, what we eatWhat we study, who we meet, You decide

VandaliseDefranchise, Sterilise Traumatise

(Chorus)We didn’t start the fireIt’s always burning, since the world’s been turning But you’ve stoked our ireInflamed passions higherThe consequences will be dire.

So yeah, that’s my song. I sense your judgement.Not bad for a first attempt, huh?Okay, maybe its not worthy of a Grammy.But I am sending in my entry to hopefully win two awards: The Sakshi Maharaj award for Best Song in a foreign language and the Sadvi Deva Thakur award for Most Vitriolic Lyrics. Wish me, dear reader, in advance.

Rahul da Cunha is an adman, theatre director/playwright, photographer and traveller. Reach him at rahuldacunha62 @gmail.com. The views expressed in this column are the individual’s and don’t represent those of the paper.