North Korea says it never wanted your stupid nuclear weapons anyway

North Korea has announced it will cease nuclear weapons testing because it was stupid and besides they never wanted to do it anyway and it doesn’t even care okay.

Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un has spent the morning making a statement through pursed lips that nuclear weapons are “stupid and lame and only dotards like them anyway”.

They also announced the closure of a key test site, which it is understood will now be used as a vineyard to grow North Korea’s key export, sour grapes.

This announcement comes soon after the US State Department scheduled historic talks between the two countries.

President Donald Trump has praised the decision of North Korea, saying that it is certainly due to his recent tough tweets against them and not because of their inevitably floundering economy and starving population.

“If only President Obama had the nerve to take a strong stance on Twitter against rocket man,” he said, on Twitter.

“But instead he was too focussed on ‘diplomacy’ and ‘foreign policy advice’ from ‘experts’. Sad!”