My name is Amanda and I WAS Bipolar and Pregnant. As of August 21, 2011 it was 9 months since River Sadie graced our world... and I had NO idea what a beautiful chaos she would bring in her rucksack of tricks. My self-absorption index has plummeted to an all time low, yet the pendulum still swings; this new universe called motherhood is dizzying. I welcome you to a place where you can read a candid account of dealings with mental illness as a mother, and can apply it to ANY manifestation.

Small Businesses Rule! Please Keep Them Alive!

Friday, October 22, 2010

I apologize for my twenty day lapse of reason and insight, but life has thrown me some lemons... and you can rest assure that I have made a most remarkable vat of lemonade with them. Things to discuss at another time and another place.

Right now, in this moment... there is an incredible full moon this evening. According to one of my favorite reads... riddled with folklore and neato pagan stuff,"The Witches' Almanac" ... it is the Blood Moon; most appropriate to the Halloween season. Alas, there is an interesting story that I will grace you with that explains the history behind the "blood" title...and I feel that there is a significance to childbirth, too; with the waxing moon, my belly has been waxing SIGNIFICANTLY, along with my insanity, impatience, irritability, and labor-like symptoms.

So I gently ask the fates...

"could the cramping in my lower abdomen, nausea, and pelvic pain be a sign from the Blood Moon that the little girl in my womb is ready to venture onto Mother Earth?"

I haven't received an answer as of yet... only a few sharp kicks to the rib cage and increased pressure on my pelvis. I'm not quite sure how this translates.

In the interim, let me share some fun stuff about the Blood Moon with you, coupled with cool, correlating sights to peruse:

The Blood Moon

http://www.midnightmoonchild.com/moonchild12thmoonpage.html

"This is a time for Sacrifice. In this, the time of first frosts and final harvests, this is a time of letting go and clearing away. This is a time of inner cleansing to make way for the justice of karma and a time for seeking shelter in friendship and community. In the calendar system we have provided as an example, this moon is typically named the Blood Moon. This name reflects the final harvest of livestock and the ultimate sacrifice of the harvest King as he leaves the world above for the mysterious transformation to be found in the underworld.

In many other belief systems there are already time-honored traditions for the establishment of a calendar. We have included a few examples here for you to consider.

In the Celtic Tree Calendar this moon is Ngetal (Reed) which runs from October 28th through November 24th.

The Runic Calendar of Nordic traditions, (which is governed by half months rather than full months), divides this moon of the year by Wyn (Joy) from October 13th through October 27th and Hagal (Constraint) from October 28th through November 12th.

The Goddess Calendar names this moon of the year after Hathor or Samhain and runs from October 3rd through October 30th.

The American Backwoods Calendar refers to this moon of the year as the Beaver Moon and is determined by whichever full moon falls in November.

This is a time for moving beyond sacrifice to find the pathway to justice, balance and harmony. This is a time for moving beyond sacrifice to seek renewal. This is a time for moving beyond sacrifice to accept your place in the endless spiral of karma. This is a most appropriate time to lament all your losses. Just as the Summer King has sacrificed the fullness of the harvest to ensure the survival of his land through the coming winter, the aftermath of your sacrifices will provide the shelter of warm friendships to nurture and fortify your spirit through whatever darkness may lie ahead.

Perhaps you know this as the Cold Moon, the Blood Moon, or St. Martin's Moon. However you name this moon, you know it as a time of endings and beginnings. The necessity of accomplishing tasks before the coming winter makes them impossible is highlighted by increasing darkness and apparent decline. In this increased darkness the link forged between the world of the living and the world of the dead is strengthened just as the veil between these two worlds is pierced on All Hallows Eve, Samhain, The Feast of the Dead, all of which are celebrated on October 31st.

In history it is the tradition to share of the Samhain feast with the spirits of the dead by leaving some out on the doorstep for the spirit world to enjoy. It was thought that the spirits would come masked and therefore giving to the masked has become a western tradition in this season. Today it's the stuff that makes happy childhood Trick or Treat memories but in the old days this was a way to give or get charitable offerings without the humiliation of identification.

So, with all that information to guide you, think of this moon as the ultimate opportunity to ensure that your sacrifices find renewal by honoring the spirit of sacrifice with your attention and gratitude.

If you select a personal name for this moon, let it be one which reflects the spirit of sacrifices well-made to you."

Coincidentally, there is a frost warning this evening!

Visit the website (above) for more reading and a complete, lunar calendar.

...and now for something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT (thank you, Monty Python). Check out the beginning of this article... a completely different look of the derivation/significance of The Blood Moon. I will post a portion. To read more go to the following website and enjoy:
http://www.wnd.com/index.php?pageId=63076

"Total lunar eclipses often make the moon appear red -Will Jesus Christ return to Earth in the year 2015? And can studying NASA's website provide evidence for such a scenario?

A minister who promotes the Old Testament roots of Christianity suggests a rare string of lunar and solar eclipses said to fall on God's annual holy days seven years from now could herald what's come to be known as the 'Second Coming' of Jesus.

'God wants us to look at the biblical calendar,' says Mark Biltz, pastor of El Shaddai Ministries in Bonney Lake, Wash. 'The reason we need to be watching is [because] He will signal His appearance. But we have to know what to be watching as well. So we need to be watching the biblical holidays.'

In a video interview on the Prophecy in the News website, Biltz said he's been studying prophecies that focus on the sun and moon, even going back to the book of Genesis where it states the lights in the sky would be "be for signs, and for seasons."

'It means a signal, kind of like 'one if by land, two if by sea.' It's like God wants to signal us," he said. "The Hebrew word implies ... not only is it a signal, but it's a signal for coming or His appearing.'
Biltz adds the word "seasons" implies appointed times for God's feasts and festivals.

'When we hear the word feast, we think food. But the Hebrew word has nothing to do with food. It has to do with a divine appointment, as if God has a day timer, and He says, 'OK, I'm gonna mark the day and the time when I'm going to signal My appearance.'

Yes, the Bible is completely true, but you may never have heard the spectacular, ultimate destiny God has in store for you. It's far more glorious than just floating around on clouds in heaven! Find out what you've never been told, direct from your very own Bible!'

In the Old Testament, the prophet Joel states, 'The sun shall be turned into darkness, and the moon into blood, before the great and the terrible day of the LORD come.' (Joel 2:31)

In the New Testament, Jesus is quoted as saying, 'Immediately after the tribulation of those days shall the sun be darkened, and the moon shall not give her light ... And then shall appear the sign of the Son of man in heaven: and then shall all the tribes of the earth mourn, and they shall see the Son of man coming in the clouds of heaven with power and great glory.' (Matthew 24:29-30)

Gary Stearman of Prophecy in the News noted, 'When we think of the sun being darkened and the moon not giving her light, we usually think of some astronomical catastrophe – perhaps the sun sputtering and the moon being affected by all this. But maybe it's time to rethink this a little bit and think of it as a natural cycle, the cycle of the eclipses.'

Phases of lunar and solar eclipses on NASA's eclipse website

Thus, Biltz began focusing on the precise times of both solar and lunar eclipses, sometimes called 'blood moons' since the moon often takes on a bloody color. He logged onto NASA's eclipse website which provides precision tracking of the celestial events.

He noted a rare phenomenon of four consecutive total lunar eclipses, known as a tetrad.

He says during this century, tetrads occur at least six times, but what's interesting is that the only string of four consecutive blood moons that coincide with God's holy days of Passover in the spring and the autumn's Feast of Tabernacles (also called Succoth) occurs between 2014 and 2015 on today's Gregorian calendar.

'The fact that it doesn't happen again in this century I think is very significant,' Biltz explains. 'So then I looked at last century, and, believe it or not, the last time that four blood red moons occurred together was in 1967 and 1968 tied to Jerusalem recaptured by Israel.'

He then started to notice a pattern of the tetrads."

Now... check this out!" Full Moon, Gravitational Pull and Childbirth!

(http://www.birthsource.com/Scripts/article.asp?articleid=409)

"Have you ever heard of someone say, 'Wow, the emergency room was hopping last night. It must have been a full moon.' Or 'If your due date comes close to a full moon, that is when you’ll have the baby.' Is this documented and evidence-based or simply Urban Legend?

While it is very unlikely that we as humans know all that there is to know about medicine and science, some studies do show that SOMETHING is going on. Dr. Leiber's study (J Clin Psychiatry. 1978. May 39(5): 385-92)6, postulates 'the existence of a biological rhythm of human aggression which resonates with the lunar synodic cycle.'

Does that explain the erratic behavior of people during a full moon? Probably. Does it answer our question about childbirth and full moon?

Is there any relationship between the times when babies are born and the lunar cycle?

There are published works that show that there is such a relationship. One study looked at 5,927,978 French births occurring between the months of January 1968 and the 31st December 1974. Using spectral analysis, it was shown that there are two different rhythms in birth frequencies: --a weekly rhythm characterized by the lowest number of births on a Sunday and the largest number on a Tuesday and an annual rhythm with the maximum number of births in May and the minimum in September-October. A statistical analysis of the distribution of births in the lunar month shows that more are born between the last quarter and the new moon, and fewer are born in the first quarter of the moon. The differences between the distribution observed during the lunar month and the theoretical distribution are statistically significant.

People are 80% water. And the changes in barometric pressure changes tides…does that change how we act or react? Some say yes, others no. Those that say no site the power of folklore/tradition/urban legends, misconceptions and cognitive biases (all bad events don't occur during the full moon and all events that occur during the full moon aren't bad!). Talk to nurses who work labor and delivery on a regular basis, midwives, busy doulas or experienced childbirth educators and they will all tell you that they believe in the power of the full moon plus changes in barometric pressure from cold/warm fronts (but that is another article!)

Another such study seems to verify this. Examined was the relationship between lunar position and the day of delivery and the synodic (in astronomy, length of time during which a body in the solar system makes one orbit of the sun relative to the earth) distribution of spontaneous deliveries, especially in relation to the presence of a full moon. A retrospective analysis of 1248 spontaneous full-term deliveries in three-year period (36 lunar months) was done at the Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, Civil Hospital, Fano (Marche, Italy). The results showed a connection between spontaneous full-term deliveries and the lunar month. The effect of the phases of the moon seems to be particularly relevant in mothers who had birthed before."

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Today I am standing outside of myself...just watching. I am some weird film within a film caught between yawns and the flickering blue light of 3 am television. I don't know who I am, or why I am... and there is a baby dancing in my swollen, achy abdomen. She is no longer the pollywog, but the real deal; this I finally feel. And this I am trying desperately to understand. There is no nursery to rock in to speak of... but it is a safe place to hang our hats. For this, I am grateful. And for this, I am frightened. I don't like who I am today, but I like who I hold inside and want her to swim in optimism...hope. I dream of an easier way and ask the universe to take away my unrest. I am... she is... we will be. This is a universal truth... and this I know. Everything else will fall into place as it will.

Below is a quick ditty on third trimester blues...which could simply be what I am experiencing, exacerbated by mental slough and life stuff. Perhaps you can relate to this.

The third trimester of pregnancy is probably the most difficult period, in the entire nine month duration, mainly because your hormones will be rampant. Most women go through pregnancy third trimester blues, which includes insomnia, boredom and anxiety. Of course, factors like being big enough to have difficulty in sitting up and getting up without help, as well as the severe back aches and swollen feet, do not make things any better. As the third trimester gradually progresses, most women say that they wish the pregnancy were over and that they could hold their babies in their arms. However, this feeling occurs mainly because many women literally struggle to pull through the last three months. As the baby grows within them they experience physical and mental discomfort. Emotional fears too usually increase in pregnant women at this time. Getting through pregnancy third trimester blues is possible, especially if you are not alone. Given below are some tips to deal with the blues:

• If you have a good support system, get your spouse or a family member to take over a portion of your household chores and duties.

• Avoid making any visits to the doctor on your own. Ask either a spouse, or a close family member (someone you are very comfortable with) to join you during every visit.

• Try to get as much rest and relaxation, as possible. If you find it difficult to do so, try some relaxation techniques like meditating, listening to calming music or soaking in a hot tub. Also get yourself pampered occasionally, with a professional massage or foot rub.

• Spend some time in preparing for the baby’s arrival and concentrate on how you would like your life to be, after the baby is born. Practicing birthing techniques, setting up the baby’s room, staring a baby book and reading prenatal books are all a part of preparing for the baby. Not all pregnancies last for their full term and therefore planning for the baby’s arrival well in advance should always be helpful.

• Many people who suffer from pregnancy third month blues also face post-partum depression. Read up on it so that you can plan ahead and be prepared to deal with it effectively.

As you approach your due date, the amount of help and support you need, will probably increase. Apart from your family and friends there are several online programs for pregnant women that you may find useful too.