A Spanish Winemaker is Producing Blue Wine

We’ve all heard of red wine and white wine. We’ve even had pink Rosés and some wines that have an orange hue to them. But now, we can get what we’ve always dreamed of when looking through a wine list: blue wine. This grand innovation is brought to you by Spanish winemaker Gik, which is, incidentally, also the sound you make when you think about blue wine.

The wine is supposed to mimic white wines, is sweet (huge surprise), and is supposed to be served chilled. The blue color comes from a pigment found in the grape skin as well as indigo dye and a non-caloric sweetener. Who could have imagined that this wine would be sweeter than your usual white? The website for Gik says, "We want to innovate and build new things, break with the past and invent the future." If innovating and inventing the future only requires squirting blue dye into your wines, the future is looking pretty bleak.

There is a genetic disease that turns your urine blue and gives you abdominal pain, but to do that on purpose doesn’t seem like the best idea for a night out—although nothing about this wine seems like a good idea. There’s nothing that screams classy like looking like you’ve dunked your wine glass into some kiddie pool full of jungle juice in the dirty basement of a frat house somewhere. If you’re going to drink blue wines, at least stick to Boone’s Farm—at least they have the I-just-want-to-get-drunk-and-have-a-headache-but-can’t-afford-adult-style-alcohol hipster appeal.