Monday, 20 September 2010

As part of The Reading Crusade, I have just read the entire Nicholas Sparks archive. They were on special offer, alright? Either I was suffering from deja vu, or a lot of the books were fairly similar. I have concocted a game of bingo for when you next read one of Mr Sparks' fine tomes.

Scorecards at the ready. Eyes down looking.

02 - a North Carolina location

62 - a 76 page long chapter where he waxes poetic in an attempt to be 'literary'

16 - main character is a 30-something single mother who is described as 'still smoking hot' or 'in great shape'

24 - novel's only pop culture reference is to Pokemon cards [and the novel was first published in 2009]

77 - completely untelegraphed, patently ridiculous ending which occurs on page 320. The preceding 319 pages having given no sense that the novel was close to even ending, nevermind in such a paper thin, moronic fashion [Hello, Message In A Bottle]

53 - romantic lead's pursuit of main character could most accurately be described as 'stalkerish'

39 - the only actor you can picture playing the male lead is Kevin Costner circa 1992

60 - minor character has a ridiculous name like Cornflake Sweetshop

48 - a lingering sense that the author had spent 300 pages unravelling plot threads and then 14 pages and an epilogue tying them up

94 - the characters have gone out on a date and eaten fresh crabs and drawn butter

11 - couple have a deep and meaningful talk about their relationship and then one of them says something which no one on planet Earth has ever actually said - like 'Just hold me!'

87 - male character dresses up for a date and is described as wearing a 'sports jacket'. Whatever that is.

Hilarious, I'm not completely up to date with his books so will have to pop to the library and give the bingo a go! Having said that I still love his books... Although agree Message in a Bottle was a bit odd! But The Notebook? The Rescue? Brilliant stuff - am I not entitled to some romantic wallowing now and then?! ;) Oh and the ending of Walk to Remember was deliberately ambiguous according to his website (yes, I am that sad!)