You know what I want for Christmas? Just one day of positive stories about the Mets. I just want to read that they are in final negotiation with a player that has potential to be the missing piece to making the team a serious pennant contender or that if you are thinking of going to a Mets game at Citi Field you better get your tickets now as it looks like every Mets game this summer will be a must see or that Baseball America has rated the New York Mets their Organization of the Year or that Kevin Burkhardt has been named as Howie Rose’ partner on the Mets games on WFAN More on that below). Just something I can smile about. PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Every morning I turn on my computer and say out loud, “Can’t wait to see what happy horseshit the Mets are up to today” it’s become my morning mantra. Well, today if Mets horseshit were dollar bills the Wilpon’s worries would be over.

First there was the story in the NY Times about what you get as a $20 mil minority investor in the NY Mets. I have to say after reading some of these “perks” I’m not rushing out to sell a kidney to raise cash to get these lucrative advantages of ownership:

Access to Mr. Met, the team mascot, although the degree of access is not entirely spelled out. It definitely means you, as a part-owner, can schmooze with Mr. Met at Citi Field. It’s less clear whether you could get him to come to your child’s birthday party without a fee.

I love Mr. Met but to tell you the truth he’s not a great conversationalist, he never has anything to say, kinda like Ed Coleman’s Mets Reports on WFAN

A formal business card, complete with the prominent designation: “Owner”.

Only if I can get a business card with a picture of me and Jeffey that says “I’m With Stupid”

And if you are a wealthy doctor, commodities trader or real estate mogul who wants to try to swat the ball over the newly pulled-in outfield fences at Citi Field on a Mets day off, you are entitled to attend what appears to be an exclusive kind of fantasy camp: “Owners’ workout day.”

Yeah great idea so I hit a ball out over the right center field fence and David Wright drops down in the fetal position sobbing and sucking his thumb

Parking will not be a problem for new owners, the document makes clear. A single spot at the ballpark is reserved for anyone who signs on for $20 million. The chance to throw out a game’s first pitch will be an annual privilege. Every minority owner will be assigned a team executive, who will be charged with tending to an array of possible needs, season tickets for family members among them. The document suggests, however, that those tickets will cost money beyond the $20 million investment.

Parking is not problem for me now, the 7 train “parks” at the Willets Pt station and then picks me up at the same place after the game, for $4.50 round trip, such a bargain. An assigned team exec? No way, I want my own usher, in fact I want the fat usher with the long greasy hair in a ponytail in the field level who was telling everyone to leave after the final out of last game of the season just so I can fire the fucker. By the way as a minority owner can I fire and hire people? Forget throwing out the first pitch you can keep all the perks just give me that privilege and you have a deal.

Moving on, it looks like the reports of the Mets shutting down their Rookie League Kingsport team was erroneous; it’s the Gulf Coast Mets who play on the back fields of St. Lonesome that will be axed. Either way this is not good news and just proves that full blown bankruptcy for the Skill Sets is on the horizon as they nickel and dime their way as owners of NYC’s National League baseball team. When you can’t afford to run a minor league team at the lowest level of pro ball it’s really a cry for help.

Pretty soon all they will close all the concession stands at Citi Field and every game will feature a Pot Luck Dinner. Bring your own plates and eating utensils too.

Word on the street is Wayne Hagin will not be back in Mets radio booth next season. Hagin is a nice guy but I won’t miss him and I doubt many other Mets fans will either, he just did not click with the fan base, a fan base I might add that is spoiled due to the great announcers of Mets games over the years (no not you Lorne Brown or you Steve Zabriski) the names being mentioned to replace Hagin are Sirrus/XM’s and former Mets GM Jim Duquette who is terrific on MLB Radio, Ed Coleman (thumbs down) Chris Carlin (no thank you) and Billy Sample ( no Mets or NY ties so no way) but the man I nominate to work side by side with Howie Rose is Kevin Burkhardt. Burkhardt is currently the radio play by play voice of the Dallas Cowboys and has been with SNY covering the Mets as an in game reporter, studio host and play by play man as well. With all due respect the gentlemen mention in the NY Post article for the job, Burkhardt’s name should be at the top of the list.

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