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Topic : 12/27 The Nanny Affair, Part 2

Number of Replies: 1150

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Created on : Friday, September 07, 2007, 03:35:05 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 09/13/07) The saga continues, as Dr. Phil brings you more of the affair that shattered the lives of a husband and wife and her best friend and parents. One year into his marriage, Brandon was caught cheating on his wife, Amy, with their teenage nanny. After fearing for her life, Amy filed a restraining order against Brandon, and he filed for divorce. But, their separation didn't last long. Amy decided to let Brandon back into her life, much to the dismay of her best friend, Heidi, and her parents, Cyndie and Mont. Why does Cyndie say she's scared of Brandon, and why does Mont say he doesn't believe a word Brandon says? Then, how are the kids faring during all of this chaos in the home? Heidi and Cyndie say they worry Brandon's discipline is over the top, but he says he's a loving father. What does Amy have to say? And, why does Dr. Phil question Brandon's sincerity to change? Is there hope this couple can save their marriage or should they call it quits once and for all? Tell us what you think!

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The Nanny Affair

There is one quick solution for this couple: Divorce. Brandon is not going to change. Amy is just pipe dreaming to think so. The marriage has lasted the standard time duration for a first time marriage. She may love him; but, I seriously doubt that he loves her. For Brandon, women are sexual toys, nothing more and nothing less.

Human nature is fickle.

Why would she let him back into her life after filing a restraining order against him? That doesn't make sense to me. Especially after she said she was fearing for her life.

I said it before in the part 1 forum, and I'll say it again here...

Call it quits!! Nobody needs that kinda stress in their life. If he's the kinda guy who'll cheat on his wife with a teenaged nanny, he's not worth your time or effort.

Nightangel1282

Sometimes even after being afraid and filing restraining orders, it seems that women will gravitate back to the familiar. I always wonder why,mainly because I've never been in this kind of situation and can't imagine going back to someone that I had been afraid of enough to file a restraining order. Human beings are strange animals sometimes.

She has to do it for HER

Alot of people don't understand what a woman goes through when she is in a relationship that is controlling and abusive. Unless you have been in that situation you have no clue what it is like. I have been there, it was 20 years ago, and my family and friends did everything they could to get me out, but until I was ready to leave their attempts were futal. She is trying to change him and she blames herself for whatever "punishment" he dishes out. Along with physical abuse, comes emotional and mental abuse. They beat you down mentally first, making you feel useless, that no one loves you, that all you need you can get from him, they isolate you. Then the physical abuse starts. By then, you are so beaten down you honestly beleive you deserve it. So many times I hear, why doesn't she just leave. It is not that easy. She has to want it, she has to see for herself that she cannot change him. She has to come this realization, until that comes, any attempt from outside will only fuel his fire.

I hope she does find the courage and the strength to get out of this relationship. No one deserves to be treated in this fashion. And it is not healthy for those babies. They are seeing that it is "ok" to allow your spouse to abuse you. That they should succumb to that, if they are in a similiar situation.

This reminds me of something that I had forgotten about.

Eons ago, when I was about 15 years old, I babysat briefly for a couple who lived out the road from us. One night, as the dad was taking me home,(about a 2 minute drive) he began to tell me about his wife having problems, not being a wife to him,something along those lines. I said to him, "I don't think you should be telling me this." He immediately said,"You're right, I shouldn't be. I'm sorry." That was the end of it. I told my mother about it and we bother agreed that I wasn't going back.(And I never did.) Even though nothing happened to me, that was a creepy experience. To me he was an "old man". Probably in his thirties at the time. I assume he did that to see how I would respond. I'm thankful nothing worse happened. I had posted a message earlier about this being a problem in our culture in the present day. This happened to me about 38 years ago.

She needs to get out

Sadly, I understand why she stays with him. I was in a physical and mentally abusive marriage. What people don't understand is that the man limits EVERYTHING. He makes the woman feel like there's no one besides him that cares about her. He tells her that HE is everything, the ONLY person who cares about her. She starts to think that he is right, they don't like him because he thinks differently than they do.

I'm not suggesting that she has been abused anymore than emotionally. But, this is how these people work on their prey.The line between physical and mental abuse is very thin,

When she met him, the wife was impressed by his accomplishments as a fireman. All he has to do is be that person long enough to marry her, then....he is the king and she...the slave.

This woman is lucky, her friend cares about her enough to keep fighting for her friends' sanity. She sees what is going on and tries to make her friend see what he's doing. I'm surprised he has allowed her to continue to see her friend. She thinks for herself, she is a problem that may cause self thought.

I read a lot of posts on here that say that they don't understand why the woman just leaves him. He has such control over her mind that she thinks that there is nothing with out him. My ex told me that it was OK for a man to have affairs, men needed to do that, besides, it's easier on me. He needs more sex than I could give him.

You are all right, she needs to kick him to the curb. What we need to do is make her see that. She is still living in the fantasy world he painted to get her in the first place. I fear that, in time, if she continues to question,,,he may kill her. It's very scary, isn't it?

Understand completely...

Sadly, I understand why she stays with him. I was in a physical and mentally abusive marriage. What people don't understand is that the man limits EVERYTHING. He makes the woman feel like there's no one besides him that cares about her. He tells her that HE is everything, the ONLY person who cares about her. She starts to think that he is right, they don't like him because he thinks differently than they do.

I'm not suggesting that she has been abused anymore than emotionally. But, this is how these people work on their prey.The line between physical and mental abuse is very thin,

When she met him, the wife was impressed by his accomplishments as a fireman. All he has to do is be that person long enough to marry her, then....he is the king and she...the slave.

This woman is lucky, her friend cares about her enough to keep fighting for her friends' sanity. She sees what is going on and tries to make her friend see what he's doing. I'm surprised he has allowed her to continue to see her friend. She thinks for herself, she is a problem that may cause self thought.

I read a lot of posts on here that say that they don't understand why the woman just leaves him. He has such control over her mind that she thinks that there is nothing with out him. My ex told me that it was OK for a man to have affairs, men needed to do that, besides, it's easier on me. He needs more sex than I could give him.

You are all right, she needs to kick him to the curb. What we need to do is make her see that. She is still living in the fantasy world he painted to get her in the first place. I fear that, in time, if she continues to question,,,he may kill her. It's very scary, isn't it?

I have to say that I understand completely. I was in an abusive relationship for a year and it really woke me up. No one could understand why it was hard to get away, because they make you feel like they're the only one that can satisfy you and love you. In her situation she had kids involved, and dispite her feelings, she needs to be thinking of her kids. Even though her husband has that control over her, and I know what that's like, I would be dead before someone would hurt my children. If a man would kill me, what makes her think that he couldn't hurt his children? I honestly understand everything because it took me a long time to get away from my ex. He lied constantly and cheated and abused me verbaly and eventually physically and it took me awhile to wake up and see what he was doing to me and that he was never going to change. I see the same thing in this guy. She really needs to wake up also, and realize that she could be that concrete beneath his feet.

Liar Liar Pants On Fire

How insecure are you to believe that he has changed and obviously shows that he doesn't know the truth if it hit him in the face. Make him take a liar detecting test and that will tell you 99.9% how truthful he is at least for the sake of your children.