Cruz, Kasich unite to stop Brady

WASHINGTON – Appealing to fans of the NFL’s 31 non-New England Patriots, presidential candidates Ted Cruz and John Kasich announced Monday they’d agreed to coordinate their remaining campaign efforts on states where each had the best chance of winning, all in an effort to prevent the eventual election of a president likely to appoint a highly pro-Brady Supreme Court justice.

This all comes as Patriots quarterback Tom Brady’s four-game ‘Deflategate’ suspension was reinstated by the United States Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit, after NFL commissioner Roger Goodell appealed its prior nullification.

Sources inside the Trump camp suggest the candidate is currently most in favor of eventually seeing Associate Justice Mark Wahlberg on the bench, but that in a pinch, any one of the Funky Bunch would suffice.