These are the names and images of people that will and have regularly appear, people who have either shaped my life irrevocably or have somewhat wandered into our personal airspace and haven’t been able to shake the gravitational pull. either way, this is my family – the ones that, if you jacked with them, I would find you, fuck you doggystyle, and shit in your parent’s bed.

Me:

I’m a simple man from a simpler time, where women were our concubines in name only and where drugs and money flowed freely through the streets of ghetto and suburbia alike, embracing people of all nations, creeds, colors and sexual orientation into her fantastic bosom.

I’m the oldest of six (all boys) and my mother is crazy. It’s that psychosis – maybe, not so much in name only – that prompts me to evaluate my capacity as a father, to really pay attention to my ability to determine whether I’m building on a natural talent or simply coasting along as I’ve done with almost everything else in my life.

But I can’t seem to shake the girls, so I guess they’re sticking around.

Ivonne:

The mother of my child, my wife and companion until the day grows cold and our lives slowly dissipate in the twilight. She is, quite literally, the very reason why my life is so awesome. Though in doubt, she pulled me out of a long string of douchey choices that most likely would have backfired on her had she not waltzed through my then-girlfriend’s front door at 1:00 in the morning during the absolute worst period in my life. I knew the moment I saw her that I was going to get in her pants; I just had no idea that I was never going to want to leave them. You can find her at www.beansandink.com.

Reza:

Our daughter and quite literally one of the coolest people I know.

Kids turn so many corners so quickly, it’s like East Germany. But she’s developing into such an amazing little person and it’s been so fun being her Dad. She’s smart, witty, curious, energetic, willful, and so very loving… I only hope I can encourage those qualities and help her develop as best as she can.