Tell Your Child What You’re Doing on Your Phone

Ann Gadzikowski

Tech tip: You may think your child doesn’t notice when you glance at your phone, but even a small child knows when their parents are distracted. Don’t feel guilty. Instead, engage your child in a conversation about what you’re doing on your phone.

There are times when you really need to look at your phone—urgent
texts or e-mails, weather alerts, schedule changes, etc. And then there are
times when you just feel like looking at your phone out of curiosity or boredom.
Your child doesn’t know the difference. When you turn your attention away from
your child and look at your phone, your child may feel slighted or ignored.
Help reassure your child and, at the same time, model wise tech management
practices by explaining to your child what you’re doing on your phone.

There’s no need to be apologetic if there’s clearly a real
need to look at your phone. Simply explain what you’re doing. “I need to know
if your Grandma has a doctor’s appointment today, so I’m going to check my e-mail
now. She might need us to pick her up.” Even very young children, babies, and
toddlers will benefit from being included in conversations like these. This
type of talk exposes them to new vocabulary words, and your gestures and eye
contact will let them know that they’re important members of the family.

If possible, include your child in problem-solving and
decision-making. For example, if you check your weather app before you leave
the house, show your child the weather icon on the screen. “Do you see that
rain cloud on the screen? What do you think that means? Should we bring an
umbrella?”

Of course, some things you do on your phone are not
appropriate for children to see or hear about. It’s okay to draw a line and
keep some things private. If possible, do those things when your child is not
with you. If you must use your phone and what you’re doing, seeing, or reading
is not suitable for children, at least reassure your child that your
distraction will be limited. “I need a few minutes to read something on my
phone. I’ll take you to the playground as soon as I’m finished.”

Some child-friendly activities you can do with your child on your phone include video chats with relatives and listening to music. You may want to create a section of family-friendly apps on your phone. Common Sense Media provides app ratings and recommendations to parents.