‘Ouija’ movie is in your future

Stop. Stop this idiotic garbage right now. Did Battleship teach you nothing? Paramount’s deal with Hasbro to adapt several of their toy and board game franchises to the big screen has been nothing but an abject disaster, with the majority of the projects dead in the water and the most high-profile of them, Battleship, turning into the most notorious bomb of the summer.

One of those licenses was Ouija, the little “talking board” invented in 1890 as a harmless parlor diversion until cranks turned it into an instrument of Satanic forces. The Ouija board has figured into a number of horror movies, most recently Paranormal Activity, but basing a whole movie around it is ridiculous. Paramount actually jettisoned the property, which was helmed by Michael Bay’s production company (always a mark of quality), and Universal was the only studio gullible enough to pick it up. Originally, it was supposed to be directed by The McG with a $150 million budget, but amazingly cooler heads prevailed and that won’t be happening.

Variety is reporting that Universal has greenlit the project with a proposed budget of $10 million, with Juliet Snowden and Stiles White (Knowing) tapped to produce the script and direct the film. From $150 million to $10 million – that’s gotta be quite the blow. The film is being pitched as a “high concept” horror movie. Sure, I bet at least one person involved in this deal was high.