New Wolverine is a transgender dude/chick named James Howlett

by sanjosebarstool

SF Weekly – After recent announcements that by 2015 Thor will be a woman, Captain America will be an African American, and Iron Man will move to San Francisco and redesign his armor to look like an Apple device,Marvel Comics issued a stunning new announcement about its most popular character this week. “Beginning next year, Wolverine will — once he comes back to life — be a transgender Samoan atheist whose bones are made out of 100 percent recycled metal,” said Marvel’s Executive Editor Tom Brevoort. “S/he will dedicate ze’s awesome mutant powers to the fight against microaggression.”

This, Marvel Editor Will Moss said, “isn’t a gimmick. This isn’t a temporary twist or a replacement ‘trans-Asian-athiest’ Wolverine. This is the real Wolverine, just the way fans have always loved zhim: a complex anti-hero who won’t rest until all of America composts.”The move has been controversial. Outraged fans flooded Marvel’s Facebook page after the announcement, declaring that it just didn’t make any sense for the immortal mutant samurai/berserker with unbreakable metal bonded to his skeleton to be a Pacific Islander.

“How is that rational?” asked comic blogger Sam Duggins. “To take a tightly conceived character like that, with no plot holes, and just change his ethnicity, makes the whole thing seem highly improbable.” “Stop making all these continuity changes!” agreed fan Bob Brusk, on Facebook. “Only Dr. Strange, should have that kind of awesome power.”

Marvel comics fan Eliot Smith “liked” that comment, and added that while Dr. Strange would have the ability to alter Wolverine’s gender identity, he never would. “That’s what a moral code means,” Smith said. “With great power comes great responsibility.

For Marvel to just change its characters like that as part of some misguided ‘diversity’ agenda — it make me think they never learned the moral lesson of being bitten by a radioactive spider.”

But not all comic lovers agreed. According to San Francisco comic store owner Todd Baily, Marvel recently revealed that Dr. Strange received his doctorate from an unaccredited university, and therefore isn’t able to perform gender re-assignment magic.

Let me start about by saying I am in no means a comic book guy. I enjoy the movies a little bit and sure do enjoy the new takes on stuff like those X-men generations stuff are cool and I know that they have to constantly reinvent this sort of stuff to stay relevant like Iron Man basically becoming an iPhone version of himself.

But the Wolverine becoming a chick-dude from the Philippines, holy toledo is that a leap and a bound away from the origin. I gotta think that Hugh Jackman is going to be a little peeved as his money train has finally come into station. I mean, talk about getting away from the original, that’s like making Carrot Top the host of the Tonight Show, just totally away from the norm.

The best part about this is that not only are the hardcore fans pissed off, their’s actually fictional factual proof that this isn’t/shouldn’t be possible. Love the deductive reasoning but you guys think that Marvel really gives a shit about that? They’re in the business of fiction, they’ll find a way to explain it.

P.S. Pretty sure anybody named Dr. Strange will be able to attempt gender reassignment surgery. In fact it’s probably his forte.