Lifestyle: How to end unhealthy friendships

Ending a friendship is just like a break-up. It’s bitter and there’s no easy way to say it as eventually one of you will be more hurt than the other.

Even though we’ve been brought up with the thought that friendships last forever, there might be things that haven’t worked out between friends.

One of you might be more giving, have severe ego issues, be constantly bullied by the other or even be jealous of the others success. Whatever the reason, if you think it’s only leaving you stress ed and feeling bitter, you have to end it for your own mental peace.

After all, nobody likes to be friends with someone who passes on negative energy. If being friends really doesn’t work out despite all the effort, you have no choice but to let go of it gracefully. Here are some ways you can deal with it…

Meet in person and discuss You have spent years being good friends. But now that you have decided to bid goodbye, do so in person. After all, you need to value the time you guys spent together for so many years. Pick a spot where you can talk openly about it. You might expect a plethora of emotions when you are discussing it. So, pick a place that is not crowded. Head to a beach, lakeside or go to a restaurant at odd hours so that it is less crowded. Meet in person and decide to part amicably.

Call up if meeting doesn’t work If you both are in two different countries or can’t meet for some reason, talk it out over the phone. Sending lengthy messages won’t work. No matter how clearly you write, the other one always has the advantage of comprehending them in a way he/she wants to. Why make it sour? Choose an appropriate time and discuss why it isn’t working. This way, both of you will get a chance to speak. Even if the other blames you of saying something wrong, you can always explain it.

Let it fade away If you both haven’t been on talking terms for a while now, let it fade away. Sometimes, natural death of a relationship is the best way to end it. Of course, you won’t get the answers or the typical closure this way. But this could be the best way to deal with it. After a few years, it will just look like you have grown out of this relationship. If you’ve been talking to each other thrice a week, cut it down to once a week. And slowly, move on. Avoid any conversations and the relationship cease.

Don’t do the blame game You have decided to end it gracefully. Even if your friend is getting nasty, you don’t get into the blame game. ‘You didn’t do this for me’ or ‘You said stuff like this’ — might make things worse. So, go for things that explain how it wouldn’t work for the both of you. Of course, you can’t hide the reasons. But tell them in a manner that doesn’t hurt. Say things like, ‘This won’t make us happy in the long run.’

If it’s worth it, give another chance Despite working on the pros and cons, if your friend is still persistent that he/she wants another chance, think it over. This is quite tricky just like romantic break-ups. But if your friend is positive about it and promises to put in effort to restore the good old times, give it another chance. But this time, ensure to work on all the problem areas. Being friends again after going through a rough patch is not easy. But ensure you work on it.

Things you should remember once you end your friendship

1) Don’t discuss about it with your common friends. Everyone will have their opinion on this and it might lead to a very judgmental conversation. We are sure you don’t want somebody to feed on this gossip, right?

2) Avoid calls and messages from your friend. If you have ended the friendship, don’t encourage any more conversations. Forget dealing with what to say and how to say it, it will simply be very embarrassing and awkward.

3) If you have decided to take a break, take a considerable amount of time to reconsider your relationship. And once you guys are back, don’t discuss the past.

4) Don’t give up on good friendship. Just because you ended a bad friendship, it doesn’t mean that there is no hope. Maintain healthy friendships with existing friends, but don’t keep discussing it with them.