It's funny I feel the same way "that my mother will out live me". I used to think wanting your own life was selfish but for us it shouldn't be. I have watched my 9 siblings live their own lives for soooo long that sometimes it angers me. They have their own homes, children, careers and so forth. My husband and I live with my mother in her house, pay room and board, I do all the food shopping, meals, laundry, housework, mom's care and still work full time. I do not have my own children but a step son who I LOVE DEARLY who lives with his mother in N.H. It's just me, my husband, mom, and two cats (my daughters). Right now I'm am about to LOSE my mind because I'm waiting to get results of a pregnancy test. I have not had a menstrual cycle since I had cardiac surgery in April. My husband and I believe that it is up to GOD if I am or not. It is unbelievable how we survive being caregivers and trying to live our own lives. Siblings just do not understand what we go through on a daily basis and it certainly cannot be explained. Thank you for responding it feels great to have someone who understands. Tomorrow will be a better day. Have a great night and hope to hear from you again.

Lfoote1 - Welcomd to the caregivers team! You've come to the right place. We are hear to listen and support you. You can cry, scream, vent any time you want and we will understand. You really do have a lot on your plate - in addition you have your own medical problems. Thank God I have good health and all of this stuff with my mom's care just wears me out! Bless your heart for doing all you do WITH medical problems. Is there anyone who can help you with your mom's care for a day or two a week? Girl, you need a break! You can't do everything for someone 7x24 forever - I know! You need something enjoyable in your life that is for you!

My mom is also 84 and sometimes I feel like I'm the one that's going to die and she will outlive me! I guess one of my "goals" is to outlive her so I can have my life back. I'm really not a selfish person (and I'm sure you're not either) I'm just tired and it sounds like you are too! Fortunately, in my case, I don't have mom 7x24 - my brother lives with her and takes care of her nights and weekends so I get that as a break, yet, still I'm exhausted! I don't know how you 7x24 caregivers do it! My hats off to all of you!

Hang in there! We're here for you!

Lynn

"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." by Bill Cosby

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I am 42, married 9 years (together 14 yrs), 2 cats (daughters), and a Mom age 84. I have read some of the entries and wanted to cry because I thought I was the only one who felt the way I do. I am one of ten children (of course the baby), have congenital heart disease (have had 3 open heart surgeries, 2 open chest surgeries, and a pacemaker), and am the caregive of my mother whom we live with. I had been taken care of both parents until my father passed away 7 years ago. I do not have any children of my own and also believe that with everything else GOD thought I had enough children to take care of. I work full time as a medical assistant/secretary, cook dinner Mon-Thurs, do laundry, house cleaning and my mother's healthcare issues. I am totally exhausted and sometimes angry because I am sick of being sick and TIRED all the time. The list of course is endless and nobody has that kind of time or wants to listen to it. I have finally come to a point where if I do not take care of myself soon I will not be around long. This has been the worst year for health issues. I have been in and out of the ER more times than I can count for nosebleeds, have had my nose packed several times and cauterized and being on Coumadin (blood thinner) does not help. I have just had open chest surgery for a complete pacemaker replacement wires and all. I'm just at my wits end. Sometimes you just wanna give up but I believe that there has to be a light at the end of the tunnel somewhere, I just haven't found it. Well believe it or not I'm in work and better say bye for now. Sorry, today is just one of those days. I am truly happy to be back Hope to hear from others and promise will be more positive next time.

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