Lynne Spears’ book not so much about parenting, more about her kids’ private lives (That’s sweet.)

Lynne Spears new book Through the Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World will hit bookshelves next month and it appears ol’ Lynne is cashing in her kids’ lives. The book includes chapters on Britney’s meltdown and Jamie Lynn’s teenage pregnancy. Without these tests of inner strength, Lynne might not have had the fortitude to write this book and totally pay off her Mercedes. E! Online reports:

“The stories Lynne shares reveal the heart of a mother who struggles to keep faith at the center of her life through its many unexpected twists and serendipitous turns,” the prereview states. The book retails for $24.99.
According to BreatheHeavy, a Britney fansite, the publisher says the book sheds light on much more, even touching on Britney’s breakdown, Jamie Lynn’s pregnancy and the infamous Sam Lutfi.

The Superficial has obtained an advanced copy of the book and would like to present its readers with an exclusive excerpt from the Sam Lutfi chapter. Through the Storm on bookshelves Sept. 16:

IX. Douchebeard at the Helm

There we were in Britney’s living room. She demanded I let her watch Crossroads for the third time that night or else she’d eat an entire bucket of chicken and throw her career down the toilet. This was, of course, months after the MTV VMA debacle, so I couldn’t have cared less if she wanted to devour a live buffalo. (I would eat those words later during a trip to the zoo.) When I explained to her she was holding a decorative basket full of pine cones, the situation became nuclear.

“Stop sleeping with my boyfriend! MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH!”

Much to my horror, she began eating the pine cones. She always had strong teeth as a child, but my word, those things didn’t stand a chance. Sam Lutfi simply laughed and continued stuffing that damn duffel bag of his full of cash. You figured he’d at least be subtle about it, but that’s when I knew: I had to have him.

We made love in the garage, and to this day, I never knew if Britney saw the whole thing. I didn’t even notice her there until she tried to butter her toast with the hedge clippers. Fortunately, no one got hurt except for the bodyguard she stabbed to death. His family asked a lot of questions. I mean, geez, get over it already.

OH MY GOD… OK THEY’RE SENDING ME AT HOME CUZ I WAS JUST LAUGHING MY ASS OFF HERE AT MY DESK AND I MEAN WTF…. FISH, PLEASE I NEED A COPY OF YOUR BOOK…. TO HELL WITH THIS BITCH AND HER STUPID SOB STORY ABOUT RAISING WHORES…. ALL SHE WANTS IS MONEY…. I WILL PAY A SHIT-LOAD MORE FOR A COPY OF YOUR BOOK INSTEAD
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

“Much to my horror, she began eating the pine cones. She always had strong teeth as a child, but my word, those things didn’t stand a chance. Sam Lutfi simply laughed and continued stuffing that damn duffel bag of his full of cash.”