Hot Topics:

Civil unions: Former Texas couple values Boulder's freedom

Committed for two decades, men excited to take next step

By Charlie Brennan Camera Staff Writer

Posted:
04/27/2013 04:00:00 PM MDT

Updated:
04/28/2013 12:01:45 AM MDT

Civil unions in Boulder County

Beginning Wednesday, civil unions will be legal in Colorado under Senate Bill 13-011, signed into law March 21 by Gov. John Hickenlooper. To mark this historic occasion, the Daily Camera today profiles three Boulder County same-sex couples who plan to obtain their civil union licenses when the Clerk and Recorder's Office opens at 12 a.m. Wednesday.

Coming Monday

Boulder County likely to see more female couples than males turn out early for civil unions.

Dawn of civil unions

What: Civil unions will be licensed and certified by Colorado county clerks starting Wednesday

Scott Murphy and Chris Amidei have been exclusively committed to each other for 20 years, but they had to come to Boulder to finally be accepted and recognized as a couple.

Murphy, a software engineer, and Amidei, who works in data entry, spent the first 17 years of their lives together in the suburbs of Dallas. Outside of small pockets that were gay-friendly -- an isolated neighborhood or just an accommodating bar -- they remember an air of general resistance in a region Murphy said regards itself as "the buckle of the Bible belt."

Advertisement

"You got into the mindset that you absolutely did not come out at all, especially in a job interview," said Amidei, 43. He was teaching elementary school during the couple's early years.

"You don't do it. First of all, you might not get the job, and second of all, you could be fired," Amidei recalled. "Definitely, if parents found out, they would run into the principal's office and say, 'I don't want that person teaching my son or daughter.' It happens."

Chris Amidei, left, and Scott Murphy play pool at their home in Boulder. (Jeremy Papasso)

Murphy, 49, works for a large international corporation that has a more tolerant record on same-sex equity. It's a status he helped his company achieve. Murphy has served as co-chair of its LGBT group, working to help earn the company top marks with the Human Rights Campaign for employment-place equity issues and encourage its decision to award domestic partner benefits.

One thing he couldn't change; Texas was still Texas.

"We spent a summer in Boulder the summer before we moved here. We had friends in the area, and we kind of fell in love with the area," Murphy said. "We decided to make the move and never looked back, actually, now that we've tasted some of what it is that Colorado has to offer."

Said Amidei, "We wanted a change in life, in many different ways, not only in being more accepted -- which we knew Colorado in general would be, not to mention Boulder -- but we wanted a lifestyle where we could be more active" in outdoor recreational pursuits.

Murphy and Amidei will be among those turning out at 12 a.m. Wednesday to secure their Colorado civil union. It's already a special date for them, as it will mark their third anniversary of moving to the state, a coincidence Murphy notes "is kind of fun."

While they are excited about being part of a historic night at the Boulder County Clerk and Recorder's Office -- they'll be renting tuxedos and exchanging 20-year rings for the occasion -- the men don't see it as radically changing anything in their lives.

"We've basically been a married couple for 20 years, and this is, in effect, the government just catching up to us," Murphy said. "Both of our extended families see us as a married couple, effectively."

"We feel right now with the (civil unions) legislation passing in Colorado, it's very, very close to marriage," Amidei said. "Of course, it's not it, and, of course, we don't get recognized by the federal government, but we thought it was close enough right now to where we want to take advantage of it."

They have heard the question before: Why not just jump on a plane and go to one of the nine states in the country, or the District of Columbia, that allow same-sex marriage and take that final step?

"We've thought about it through the years, briefly, but we both agree that it really wouldn't benefit us because the federal government won't recognize us, and the state we were living in wouldn't recognize us. So we just decided to go ahead and wait," Amidei said.

They are grateful that, over the years, at least their own families have fully acknowledged their union.

"Every couple of years, my family has a family reunion," Murphy said, "and on the few occasions when Chris was not able to make it, I get bombarded with questions, 'Where is Chris?'"

"If I'm not there, everybody is sad," Amidei said, laughing.

Both agree it is hard to know if, how or when same-sex marriage will come to Colorado. But they also vow that they're through messing with Texas.

Lightning has 5A state title aspirations once againIt was the only home plate the Legacy varsity softball field had ever known, and there it was last Saturday, in its tattered state, dug out of the playing surface and relegated to a lonely, unused existence. Full Story

The Boulder alt-country band gives its EPs names such as Death and Resurrection, and its songs bear the mark of hard truths and sin. But the punk energy behind the playing, and the sense that it's all in good fun, make it OK to dance to a song like "Death." Full Story