I don't post here often but I really need to get this out because as far as I know my sister doesn't know about this forum and doesn't read here.

I am pregnant with our 4th baby, this one was completely planned and wanted but my family is acting like I've ruined not only my life but theirs as well.

My mom is not speaking to me and as far as I know my sister isn't speaking to me either. My sister called my dad today to rant and rave about me having another baby and what a stupid decision it was and how horrible it is for me to have 4 children.
Background: My sister and her husband had to loan me and my husband some money last year to get through a rough time. Things are so much better now and we are paying them back monthly for their generosity but for some reason she seems to think that by me borrowing that money that I also signed my life away and she loves to hold that over my head. She seems to think that for some reason this means they "support" us financially which is not true.
I just don't even know where to begin with how I feel, DH and I have always wanted 4 children and this baby is so wanted and loved and I'm just so upset that my own family can be so mean :cry:

moonphishers

09-17-2007 12:55 PM

Re: Anyone have family really upset about having another baby??

:bighug:

At least shes not calling you to rant and rave. You'r dad shouldnt have told you about that (assuming he did :o) As hard as it is, it's better if they're not there to poison your happy time! Rejoice with your children and hubby and anyone else who will celebrate with you, mama. Leave the rest behind

Congrats :)

urchin_grey

09-17-2007 12:57 PM

Re: Anyone have family really upset about having another baby??

I'm so sorry mama, that's horrible. :hugs:
With my first DS (planned), my family was happy... with my 2nd and 3rd pregnancies (not planned exactly, but not trying to prevent and which ended in m/c), my mom actually said "well that's good because you don't need to have any more with him". :banghead:

I say just give them some time... They'll come to their senses eventually. Its not like you're 13 years old or something, geez, you're a grown woman!

mengmommy

09-17-2007 12:59 PM

Re: Anyone have family really upset about having another baby??

I'm sorry. We've borrowed money from my parents in the past, and I know what you feel like! But I wouldn't let that hamper my baby feelings! I never feel like its ok for us to get pg (we also have 3 babies in Heaven)...like everyone assumed I was too young (20 with ds, 23 with dd...not so much anymore since I'm almost 25)...but being poor makes it hard to not assume that people think its a terrible atrocity that we want more babies. My mom wants us to have another though...but I don't know what she'd say about #4 if we are so blessed! I can just hear my dad now though...even with #3. :giggle:

MamaToBe84

09-17-2007 01:07 PM

Re: Anyone have family really upset about having another baby??

oh boy do i understand how you feel! DHs family was sooooo upset when we got pregnant. (angel baby in december) I heard it all: "i hope you know babies are hard"-- from the SIL who had 2 abortions at 15... and "I cant believe you would let yourselves get into this position"... um hi, i was 22, dh was 23, been married 2 years, its not like we were teenagers or something! It was horrible.

Just remember, its your baby not theirs, so they;ll shut up eventually.

(and wait til you hear: "dont think im going to be watching that kid" well who said i wanted you even AROUND that kid?! lol)

moonphishers

09-17-2007 01:10 PM

Re: Anyone have family really upset about having another baby??

Just wanted to add that age may or may not have anything to do with it. I was 33 the last time I was pg with DS2 and all I heard was the same as the above and worse :rolleyes:

Next time (and there will be a next time, which always gets groans from idiots) I am going the a get a shirt that reads "if you have nothing positive to say about this pregnancy then, shut yer pie hole! :giggle:

OrangeBananas

09-17-2007 01:14 PM

Re: Anyone have family really upset about having another baby??

You poor thing! I know how you feel. Every time I have announced being pregnant I get the "I am worried about you" speech. My MIL complained about me not getting my tubes tied right after the birth of my 3rd son 4.5 months ago. Its just never ending. I swear every time we visit family the first thing they say is "your not having any more kids are you?".
:hugs:

TwinKristi

09-17-2007 01:14 PM

Re: Anyone have family really upset about having another baby??

There are always people who are trying to steal your happiness, you just need to ignore it!! I know it's easier said (or typed :giggle: ) than done, but you have to in order to keep your happiness alive!! Who cares what they think, it's YOUR family and YOUR baby!! You are doing the right thing in paying back the money they loaned you, but jeeze, it's not like you have to have your ovaries submitted as collateral when you get a loan from anyone else?? Why would they get to chose what you can and cannot do now?? It's not like you're living on the streets and can't afford to even pay them back. They just need to HUSH UP!! I'm sure there are a few family members who wouldn't be so happy if we have #6, but I don't care!! We will love that baby just like our other 5 and if they have something to say about it than they can say it to someone else and live with the consequences.

Vonnie

09-17-2007 01:16 PM

Re: Anyone have family really upset about having another baby??

When I told my Nana I was pregnant with DS2 her response was, "Oh great, another little b@st@rd for the state to feed" which I don't think I'll ever really recover from. I would love to be married to my partner but my ex-husband has refused thus far to sign over my divorce and it's only been within the last six months that we've been separated long enough for me to file divorce without requiring his consent. She wasn't much nicer when I told her I was pregnant with DD1, although to be honest I don't think I got a positive reaction from any family member.

Sweet_Fantasy_Fox

09-17-2007 01:41 PM

Re: Anyone have family really upset about having another baby??

:bighug: i am so sorry, thats not right for your family to be acting so mean to you, hope they realize what theyre doing and stop immediately!:hugs: