Give what you want

What’s the one thing you want most? And no, I’m talking about the latest Ferrari or pair of Louboutin heels.

As nice as they both sound, gifts of the material variety are not what I’m talking about today.

I’m asking you to consider what one thing you crave the most in your life right now.

Do you want more confidence? More courage? More love? More companionship?

Do you desire more success? More meaning? More peace? More passion?

Go on, dig deep and ask yourself what you really want right now?

At the time of writing this post, I want more patience.

It feels as though my little boy has hit the quote-unquote “terrible-twos” a year and half late.

He is driving us absolutely crazy and right now what I want, and desperately need for my own sanity, is more patience.

Now, all my habitual yoga and meditative practices seem fine when I’m lying on my mat in the calm and peaceful dawn of twilight while the rest of the house is asleep.

But when the creek of Ealy’s bedroom door breaks the silence of my meditative state I know that soon enough all hell will break lose for then next 12 hours.

So, I’ve been thinking, how can I get better at dealing with my ‘incredibly-adorable-but-makes-me-want-to-pull-my-hair-out’ son?

And then I remembered something that I heard a couple of years ago from author and personal development, Darren Hardy, in his book The Compound Effect.

He said, “Whatever I want more of in life, I’ve found the best way to get it is to focus on giving it to others… The ripple effect of helping others and giving generously of your time and energy is that you become the biggest beneficiary of your personal philanthropy”.

And all of a sudden, right then and there, I decided a shift in my behaviour was necessary.

If I wanted to have more patience throughout the day then I needed to focus my attention and energy on demonstrating it to others.

That meant, not getting in a strop at the Post Office because the clerk was taking longer than I would’ve liked with another customer.

That meant not looking at my watch when Drew started to tell me about his day.

That meant not yelling at Riley for stopping “too much” to smell the grass and play with other dogs while on the morning walk.

No. Right then and there, I decided that in order for me to invite patience in to my life I had to demonstrate a patient attitude to everyone with whom I came into contact with.

By doing this, I found that it naturally filtered through into my interactions with the Little Master of the house.

Now, I’m not saying that it works every time – heck, I’m still dealing with an unpredictable 3-year old – but for the most part it really helps.

As we embark on the start of a new week and as we approach Valentine’s Day, I want to pass this philosophy over to you.

Ask yourself, what do I want more of? And then ask yourself, who can I give more of that same thing to?

If you lack confidence, think about who you can give more confidence to. If you want more success in your life, think of the people you can inspire and help to attain success in their own lives.

And yes, as Valentine’s Day creeps closer and closer, this question is very befitting; If you want more love, who can you give more love to?

And I’m talking about all forms of love; from intimate love to platonic love, from the love you show to your children to the love you show to a stranger.

I believe that when you give more love you open yourself up to receiving more of the same. And that same rule applies to everything else that you choose to share/give to others.

Now, before I go, I want to leave you with this final thought. Don’t forget to include yourself in the list of worthy recipients.

Show more love to yourself this week. Show yourself more kindness, more tenderness, more patience and more respect.

When you screw up – as we all do from time to time – say nice things to yourself, don’t beat yourself up. Tell yourself, you live to fight another day and will do better next time.

So, my darlings, go now, and give it a try. Then come back and tell me how it impacted your life.

Oh and in case you were wondering why I’ve chosen a Dirty Dancing pic for the title image. It’s because it’s full of many of the themes we’ve talked about here; love, courage, passion, self-esteem, bravery and the rest. Plus it’s hot ‘n’ steamy – ideal V-Day viewing x