15 Brilliant Ways to Add Some Humor Into Your Wedding Vows

A Guide to 15 Humorous Wedding Vows

Most wedding vows are known to follow the tradition of being very basic, serious, lovey-dovey, and sometimes boring. These plain and simple vows offer nothing but an uninterested and unresponsive audience sometimes. So why not spice things up a little bit and have some fun with your vows? Put some humor into those old traditional statements and enjoy skimming through some of these humorous suggestions!

1. Bring Up Money

“I, Susan, take you, Michael, to be my husband, and I promise to share with you all that I have. I will honor you forever, especially when you finally bring in that six-figure income, scream at you when you bet away all of our money, and cherish you when you hit the lotto. I promise I will always care for you through both sickness and through health.”

2. Watching Football Joke

“I, Martha, take you, John, to be my annoying football-watching wedded husband, and I promise to be your loving and faithful wife who cleans and cooks while you do nothing but sit in front of the television. I commit to you right now and forever more.”

3. Love of a Pet

“I take you, Angelo, to be my sweet and jealous husband, and I join you with me and my beloved dog Harry; I promise to be faithful to both you and Harry until death parts us, and if you continue to be envious of my attention to Harry, I will take you two to peer mediation.”

4. Bring Up Personal Gain

“I, Isabelle, take you, Lucas, for a personal gain husband, and to use you as my personal mechanic, and you just know you will be working on my car for eternity.”

5. Promise Love For the Pet

“I, Tianna, give myself to you and will always bring love and commitment to you. I vow to be both honest and sincere, and to also show love for your cat Bella, and to be both compliant and loyal to you and beloved Bella.”

6. Promise To Be Home On Time

“I, Kyla, pledge to be honest and sincere, and to be your faithful and helpful wife who comes home on time from a night out with the girls.”

7. Promise To Not Spend the Money

“I, Chloe, take you, Thomas, as my wealthy husband and I promise you love, honor, and respect. I guarantee I will not spend all your money. I also promise to respect your wealth and not max out the credit card you provide me every spare moment I have, and not to desert you or your riches.”

8. Ability To Hang Out With My Friends

“I take you, Jose, to be my adoring husband, promising to let you hang out with my homegirls, and I will be a loving and giving wife forever and ever.”

9. Promise To Be a Nag

“I, Amber, promise to take you Juan as my loving husband; I will nag, love, and cherish you now and forevermore.”

10. Promise To Be Truthful Only When Beneficial

“I, Brittany, take you, Gregory, as my husband, and promise to share my life freely with you, and to speak the truth to you only when it benefits me. I promise to honor and care for you, and to encourage you to fulfill your passion as an individual through all the achievements in our lives.”

11. Promise To Blow His One Week’s Salary

“I, Hillary, take you, Benjamin, to be my wedded husband and to live together in the Lord’s name. I vow that I will love you while I spend your weekly paycheck, comfort you when you see the negative balance in our bank account, honor and keep you so I can buy my Louis Vuitton purses, and take care of you when you have a heart attack because we are broke.”

12. Make Fun Of His Old Age

“I, Barbara, take you, Brice, to be my extremely old-aged wedded husband. I vow to control your life and since we all know I will outlive you, I will ensure that I love and cherish you forever to love and to cherish, until death parts us.”

13. Promise To Not Be Whiny

“I, Jasmine, take you, Sean, to be my patient husband, and I promise to love you every day of my life. I also vow that I will stop whining every chance I have and I will make sure that you are always taken care of.”

14. Promise To File For Divorce If…..

“I take you, Matthew, to be my husband, to join you in life and to share our life’s achievements, and I promise to divorce you if you do not share in my obsession of Brad Pitt and do whatever I say; and I promise to always be faithful to you until our life ends.”

15. Promise To Stop Being Irritated With His Crying Sessions

“I, Naomi, take you, Warren, to be my husband and promise to stop looking down upon you when you cry while watching the Lion King for the fiftieth time. I promise to be faithful to you in the good and bad times and I assure you that you can continue to lean on me when you are being a cry-baby. I vow that my love will for you will never stop.”

Christy Nafziger is a quirky content strategist who works at the Income Store office located in rural Pennsylvania. She specializes in content editing, content writing, and SEO. In her free time, she loves studying both Spanish and French, reading, hanging out with her family, and watching Big Bang Theory! Her dream and passion is to become an ESL teacher someday and teach in a Spanish speaking country. For inquiries, contact cnafziger@incomestore.com.