Primal

Okay, sure, maybe those statements are pretty subjective and biased considering my personal love for it, and there are other kinks that’s just as awesome, but still, hear me out. Afterward, maybe you’ll at least understand where I’m coming from.

You know what makes it so great and underappreciated? The fact that, to varying degrees, anyone who is sexually active practices it; even if they don’t know it. That’s right potential vanilla reader who’s possibly interested in kinks. Even you, too.

I know what you may be thinking at this point: “But I don’t like acting/being treated like an animal!” Which makes total sense. When the kink is brought up, most of the time it’s related to pet-play, which is understandable. One often follows the other, which makes sense. However, they are two very distinct kinks, and while pet-play may need at least a hint of primal to work, primal doesn’t necessarily need pet-play.

Before we go any further, let’s breakdown what it means to be primal in its most basic, non-kinky way. A quick Google search brought back this result:

“relating to an early stage in evolutionary development; primeval.”

Okay, now with that in mind, let’s bring that into the context of the topic here. Depending on who you ask, you’ll get different answers on the history of our evolution as a species, but one thing that seems for certain is that we are all animals in some way. As humans, we consider ourselves the dominant species because of our emotional capacity, intelligence, and ability to function in a civilized society. At the core, though, what do we have in common with the animals we share this earth with?

Sex… among other things, of course, but this isn’t a biology lesson.

Over time, society has put the pressure on us as a race to restrict and hide a lot of our natural urges and desires, making us feel wrong for them in the process at an attempt at separating us. One of the few occasions that we’re given to let those natural urges and desires flow is during anything sexual. This is what makes primal so great and done by everyone. Pretty much everyone who’s actively sexual has done some sort of scratching, biting, or having rougher sex in general, even if it was as simple as a stronger grip on your partner’s body or a small nibble on their lips during a kiss. Those are all small examples of our primitive instincts kicking in when we’re aroused, interacting in ways we wouldn’t otherwise do. Even a basic want to reproduce when we’re prepared to have sex can be related back to this.

We can’t really help it. It’s in our nature. That’s not excusing any non-consensual or outright terrible acts, by any means. Consent and communication is always key.

Speaking of which, knowing yourself and what to expect when you’re “in the moment” comes in handy now.

If you’re self-aware enough to realize you are rather primal during sex, having an understanding partner during this is beneficial beyond words. Using myself as an example here, when I first realized I really enjoyed becoming more primal during sex with Rhea, I found myself a lot of the time wanting to respond to the stuff she did to me with whimpers and moans rather than words, knead at her skin, nibble/lick her, bite, scratch, a higher inclusion of bodily fluids, and using her scents and tastes to arouse me. We had to build some sort of system and make my reasons behind some of the actions clear.

She’s to tell me if my biting is getting out of control or too hard. I told her my reasons for sniffing her before giving her oral or fucking her, which had her a bit embarrassed initially until I explained how much of a turn on her natural aroma and taste was. At times, I feel the urge for her to piss on me as a way of marking me as hers, or I do it to her as a way of showing my appreciation to her as my leader and owner (which we only do in the shower). Explaining the context and mindset of these acts really helped her understand where it was coming from and what it meant to me, personally.

As with anything, we played around with it and experimented over time, with her learning the things to do to me in the moment to really push me into that mode and just let go, which includes her calling me a good boy when I do a good service for her (in and out of sex), telling me to breed her when she wants me to cum, and stroking my head randomly throughout the day when we’re doing even normal, vanilla activities just to name a few. I know I’m leaving some out, but if I talked about all of them, wouldn’t it kill some of the magic that they have between us? Something about those unspoken triggers that have no explanation nor do they need one works amazingly. I’m also sure she has plenty of other triggers that I only recognize on a subconscious level.

Obviously, our level of it delves into the world of pet-play, but not heavily. As we’ve both stated before, I don’t like being treated fully like a pet. I don’t want to go into a cage, wear a muzzle, or be forced to eat from a bowl on the floor. Though, to be perfectly clear, I see nothing wrong with anyone who wants to do it. I just have no interest in that.

I, do, however, enjoy having the small things done to me throughout the day by Rhea, with more outright reminders during sex, and wearing a collar and leash (even outside of sex) when she chooses. The bigger, overall act in this, though, that is present even when we aren’t physically incorporating it, is the mental aspect of knowing it’s always there. Even though we do normal, everyday activities like any other couple, the dynamic that we have, and the mental processes that come with it, are always in the background. Any small thing we may do, such as me serving her drink, and her reminding me that I’m a good boy for it, immediately brings it to the forefront of the moment and reminds us of what we have.

Now that I’ve pulled this post away from my initial point of saying that being primal is the best thing ever because we all incorporate it to some extent, to explaining how it can turn into a form of pet play, let’s bring things back to wrap it up.

Even though being primal is considered a kink, which I can understand why it technically is, it’s actually something that even the non-kinkiest of people will unknowingly include in their sex-life to some extent. We all experience it. That is why, to me, being primal is not just a kink, but something much more.