The Day My Baby DiedIt was the worst phone call of my life. "Kyra,
Hayes isn't breathing!" I could not believe what I was hearing. All
the way to the hospital I screamed, "My baby can't die, my baby can't
die."

Seeing
him at the hospital, tubes everywhere and no sign of life is a memory
that will live with me forever. I stood next to him, rubbing
his head, holding his hand, coaxing him to come back to us. After about
25 minutes of hard work, the doctors pronounced him dead. I was allowed
to hold him one last time. He was so heavy, so lifeless. I wanted him
to open his eyes and look at me like nothing I had ever wanted before.
It would not happen. He was gone forever.

Hayes was perfectly healthy.
The reason given for his death was Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).
I had heard of it. I even received a brochure in one of our pre-natal
classes. But no one talked about it. There was not much of an emphasis
on it at all. I suppose it was one of those things that you think will
not happen to you.

But here I am without my
beautiful son. We were just getting to know each other. I understood his
laughs and his cries. He gave me so much life. Now, when people ask me
if I have children, I don't know how to answer. Can I
still be considered a parent if my child is dead? How do I go on? How
do I find peace, much less happiness in our lives again? I can't stand
the fact that I will not see my child again, that I will not see him grow
up, play with his friends or hear him laugh.

Though we will never have our
son back, we felt we had a mission to educate others about SIDS and to
aid in research so that one day no parent will be faced with losing their
child to this terrifying cause.

It is tragic for such a strong
source of light to dim so quickly. And
yet, we must remember that Hayes lit a light within us all that will continue
to shine. His life will not leave us, though his presence has. We will
hold him close to us and treasure all that he gave, not just as memories,
but as the life altering lessons that they were.

The Hayes Foundation
will help guide our mission, and through our efforts help others fulfill
their dreams of watching their children grow up.

On January 23, 2002, Kyra Was Given
a GiftOliver "Hayes" Hitzeman entered their
lives and promised to change them forever. Hayes did not give of himself
easily; in fact, from before he took his first breath he taught his parents
that life would be lived on his terms; that for all their planning on
how he was to enter the world, Hayes taught them that they could not control
nature. Hayes quickly let them know that he was to be their teacher; that
was his gift.

And on that same day, Hayes
received a gift from his parents; their love and a part of their souls.
They gave him safety and comfort, sustenance for both mind and body, and
a nurturing that came from a place within themselves that was deeper than
they had ever experienced, deeper than they thought possible.

And the rest of us watched,
and listened, and learned, as this beautiful little boy unfolded his personality
and took his place in the world.

Hayes
liked to laugh; he was a happy boy. He loved bath time and had long conversations
with his friend Big Bird in the mornings. He quieted on long walks with
Kyra and relaxed in the calm of lying on the back deck. He loved
the trees and being outside.

Upon waking, when Kyra
picked him up, he would meet their eyes and smile. He knew that he was
loved and that was enough to bring him ultimate joy. Through Hayes, Kyra
experienced a deeper and truer love than they had ever felt before.
For as much as one can love their parents, their siblings or their spouse,
the love a parent has for their child stands apart.

Hayes taught his parents to
smile wider, to sing louder and to value life to its fullest. He taught
them to see that life's possibility was endless and how to pay attention
to the details. He was the bond that brought Kyra's family
together as one.

Hayes brought a focus to Kyra
and that touched all aspects of their lives; at home, at work and
with their friends. He showed them what was important and what was trivial.
He made them better people.

It is tragic for such a strong source of light to dim
so quickly. And yet, we must remember that Hayes lit a light within us
all that will continue to shine. His life will not leave us, though his
presence has. We will hold him close to us and treasure all that he gave,
not just as memories, but as the life altering lessons that they were.

Disclaimer: The Hayes Foundation is a part of the CJ Foundation for SIDS. All information contained in the Hayes Foundation (HF) Web Site is intended for informational purposes only. HF does not endorse any specific treatment or strategies. HF strongly recommends the consultation of a physician to assess individual conditions and needs.