Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Parking Lot Rage...

I hosted a dinner party tonight. Sounds pretty fancy, but it was just Jan and me. Jan lives in a town called El Mirage, at least a 45 minute ride across town, but she works about 20 minutes away. So she came straight from work, arriving about 5 PM. I prepared well in advance buying boneless chicken breasts and marinading them in my special lemon marinade that I create with lemon juice, olive oil and all of the spices on the lower shelf of the right side cabinet. When I move, I'll probably lose that recipe. After letting the chicken tits soak for about 36 hours, I knew they'd be plenty lemony, but I needed stuff to go with the chicken. I asked Jan what she liked and she just said any vegetable was fine, but she had ordered asparagus at dinner on Friday. Knowing this and trying to choose both a veggie she liked and one that wasn't too gassy, I went with the Jolly Green Giant's asparagus special.

Alas, today was Seniors Day at Fry's, so I waited until today to do my big shopping, accumulating a bill that towered towards $36, a new person record for me. I don't know what it is, I get to the grocery store and freeze up. I don't know what goes with what and the individual prices seem too high for a single item and I just walk away disgusted. I got married 3 times, just so I wouldn't have to grocery shop. As I mentioned, it was Seniors Day, so the parking lot was pretty full and the store moved rather slowly with people pushing friends and spouses in wheelchairs, an assortment of people with walkers and a plethora of caned folks. I learned in the past, it doesn't pay to be in a hurry. I was pretty proud of myself, able to fill 4 plastic bags with supplies for the month and approached my car. As soon as I got close to my 04 Toyota, I noticed a woman that was parked next to me in the largest Lexus I had ever seen, sitting in her car with her driver's door wide open and it was touching my car. Did she damage it, I don't think so and if she had, it wouldn't be the first ding on the Toyota? Although I took notice, I decided against making an issue of it. The woman was trying to dial a number on her cell phone and about 75 to 80 years old. I put my 4 bags into my trunk and pushed the cart to the front of my car where I had actually found it upon parking. It was equally between her car and mine, in the front by our bumpers. Without warning, and who would have guessed she'd had her Geritol, she leaped from her Lexus and pushed the cart into my car, immediately jumping back into her car and locking the door. I don't think I've ever come so close to wetting my pants from laughing.