.' ::::-, ":' . : : r:::' :' ê :;,. 1- .r fj ' . : . ; . ;.:. .'. .F::.. .... ..: :.:. \.. fj 'r :". .:iW'.:L>; -- 'f " . L :i} , ....... . 14 ADORAßLé, T AXAßLé YOU T ORD love you, child, I am only L a lantern-jawed individual with progressive myopia caused. by at- tempting to cope with the current lit- erary output, and I certainly don't want to usurp any reviewer's job in the Sun- day book section. But when I see an authentic human document go begging while Messrs. Duffus, Adams, and Jack whoop up the latest trilogy, I could spit. . · . Now listen to me, Vardis Fisher and Jules Romains, you stop sulking in that corner. This is the last time Nanny ever takes you to a party. If "Inc?me Tax," by David Joseph, C.P .A. (Authentic Publications Co., New York, twenty-five cents), has re- ceived less than critical acclaim, its fate at the hands of the consumer is much more gratifying. It was selling like hot cakes the day I got my copy at a cut-rate drug- store; in fact, a stack of hot cakes nearby was entirely ignored and fast becoming cold cakes while customers fought with each other around a dwindling pile of Mr. Joseph's "Income Tax." In a speculation worthy of Daniel Drew, I finally secured one from an elderly party in bombazine by trading a two-volume "History of Flagellation" and half a chocolate-malt- ed. I still think I came off top dog, and the feeling must have been wide- spread, for on learning of the incident, the eminent bibliophile Dr. A. S. W. Rosenbach declared, "He came off top dog." It is well to be fore- warned that the general ff f " 1 T " . e ect 0 ncome ax IS closely akin to that of in- haling den tal gas, unless you are the sort to whom tax-free covenant bonds, fiduciaries, and Canal Zone retirement funds are meat and drink. Only when Mr. ] oseph turns to his files for actual visual examples- case histories, so to speak- does his book come alive, and then with a vigor and clarity unmatched in Freud And as if the lives of James Taxpayer and John and Frances Wedd were not vivid enough already, the au- thor presents them in facsimile income- tax returns, a device any novelist would have given his Windsor tie to antici- pa te. Form 1040 A, a year in the life of James Taxpayer, finds him living quiet- ly in the Bronx, working as pianist in a band-whether sweet, boogie-woogie, New Orleans, or Chicago style the re- turn neglects to set forth. Judging from his somewhat colorless name, however, and the twenty-six dollars he contrib- uted to "Non-sectarian Church," I see James as a sallow young man given to lush interpretations of "Beautiful Ohio," with pianola effects in the manner of Adam Carroll. The band is clearly a five-piece combination whose members put on funny hats about nine-thirty, +"''1' J .'#(.Ji l "., ::' ..... 'l :1i &.; ,:.) ...",.--.....:..:;::; ' . : . \ , ... ,' . . ';::: . ""'" ",:::: :.:.:.....,.;: ...."" 'í =: j j{ ,/ .; . .(\f . .':':V:' ".':'::::: W : .':. :rtj t"':, .' :: ;( : .'./ :. .rçi::f;. fij ""::f i :? ',.:\.'. l\ ; t:i::::::r ,t1: r::=:::( . f5:. t) .i;' . . 'X". J --/ ::: : :::::. 1 . -- . ....... -.... . ""..-.. -.- . .. ..::::: ,': :::;;::J. ',, ::' \1 : : Y y r;-w "\ . - ,.. ....' f MARCH 8, 194- 1 and James, for his specialty, plays "Mar- gie" as it might be done by a Swede, a Chinese, and so forth. All in all, a respectable if prosaic cit- izen-until you begin analyzing his in- come and deductions. Then you discover from Schedule A that James received $2,600 in 1940 from something called Dance Corp., at 1463 East Eleventh Street, New York City. The firm is undeniably solvent; completely so, since it appears to be doing business in thirty- two feet of water in the middle of the East River. The pattern becomes even more complex with the deduction of $40 for "cost of substitute in band." Ap- praising James' services at five dollars an evening (probably much too high), it is obvious he was missing from the aggregation eight times during the past year. Drunk? Possibly. Muggled up, more than likely-an impression irre- sistibly borne out by the deductions in Schedule F: "Portfolio stolen, $35" and "Fire loss (not covered by insurance), $112." Quite patently, James had been smoking a stick of tea in some rib joint and in a burst of generosity presented a total stranger with his portfolio, which was full of piano scores. After which he promptly went home and set fire to his bed, if not his mother. A bad lot, you may depend on it, and a constant source of aggravation to some lovely old white- haired booking agent. T HE joint return filed by John and Frances Wedd also reveals an ex- istence at once humdrum and bizarre. The income of this appar- en tly irreproachable pair was derived from a varie- ty of sources: John's sal- ary as a teacher, a snug little annuity, several hun- dred shares of stock, and, oddly enough, a matter of $9,994.92 rising out of a business known as Import- ers & Exporters, located at 2 Export Street, New York. It would seem from this hasty survey that John is that rare amalgam of dreamy pedagogue and ru thless businessman in whose company it is advis- able to keep your wallet pinned inside your shirt. The nature of the business transacted by John's firm is fairly obscure. For a while I thought he might be selling silver foxes from unmarked trucks, but sober