Self-employment Can Feel Defeating If God Didn’t Have a Plan

It’s been a tough road since leaving the comfort of a regular paycheck. Entrepreneurship isn't as glorious as you may think and self-employment can feel so defeating at times. I've been building this business for years, yet here I am wondering why things are not happening the way I planned.

Before you read any further, please understand this is not a pity-party post. I'm just being real – as I hope you would be.

Three months have passed. My ego has taken a hit as my wife’s salary has become the main source of income for our household.

While our net worth is alright, my self-worth is constantly tested as I struggle while others succeed. I ask myself “why not me”. This feeling of failure can be draining at times.

High expectations equals a high failure rate

I left the day job with high expectations to earn an income in very short order by serving others through coaching and digital courses. After all, I've been creating this business on the side for a number of years. So I created a short list of big goals – and it is leading to a high failure rate.

Over the past three months I have not been able to:

Bring in $700 of after-tax income every week

Sell $300 of helpful digital courses every month

Speak to at least three local businesses about Financial Wellness classes

I contribute most of my failures to fear of rejection and an unwillingness to make cold calls or “ask for the sale”.

It’s not you – it’s me.

My short list of successes

However, I have not given up and I am certainly not sitting on my butt scrolling through Facebook videos.

Helped a fellow church member through a career transition. She quit her job and is now on track to making tons of money as a highly compensated salesperson

Another thing that I can’t quantify with $$$ signs is this: I've had three people tell me they were in a conversation where the other person mentioned my name and paid me compliments.

Wow! That helps repair the damaged ego.

What hasn't changed

One thing that hasn't changed in the past three months of self-employment:

How do I know God has a plan? Because He keeps putting really cool things in my way.

I wish I could tell you what His plan was, but only God knows. He is knitting His complex tapestry and I'm somewhere in the middle of it.

Do you feel that way sometimes; like there should be more or that you were destined to be someone of great importance?

I imagine Nick Vujicic did – and he has become a very successful motivational speaker despite being born with no limbs.

What was my problem again?

My faith in God’s plan keeps me from fearing the unknown, allows me to remain calm when frustration starts bubbling to the surface of my skin, and helps me get up at 6am every day ready to tackle the long list of to-dos.

How To Stay Grounded When Things Get Tough

While I'm battling these fears of inadequacy and remain in the dark as to what activity, accomplishment or service will make (or break) me, these three things keep me grounded:

Things will have to get worse before they get better. I've been praying God will break me and then mold me into what He truly meant to design.

That scares me to death! I'm sure He doesn't want me to suffer but we often have to go through challenging trials to grow.

What does that look like? I really don't want to lose my marriage, damage my relationship with my daughter, or fail financially after helping so many others improve their moneyplans. Maybe I won't have to go through the fiery crucible, just a remodel?

There is no reason for me to dodge God’s plan, whether he breaks me or allows me to transition gracefully. I will remain steadfast in my faith and continue to help others.

Zig Ziglar said “You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help enough other people get what they want.”

Don't mistake the message. This isn't a “I'll get what I want if I just go out there and do what I'm told” message. I believe it works the other way: You will be rewarded for serving your fellow man.

I believe it so much that I'm betting my future on it.

Please pray for me as I continue this journey – and let me know how I can serve you!