Monday, November 17, 2008

This is a VERY changed version of something I wrote a while back. Some might not like the changes. I'm sorry. Whereas it was once abstract prose, it is now semi-narrative poetry. I hope you like it, but this one is mostly for me.

sadness

to find beauty for that one i’ve yet to meeti went one overcast twilightthrough spacious flowered fieldspast bubbling streamsthat never reminded me of loveinto the shade of murky woodi came upon a pansy wiltedgrayforlorn and chokedspringing impossibly from hard granitethere i sat and pondered

on the beauty oftear-stained tracks down children’s dusty facesweeks of rainstrong battered womenfancy melting candles and darkwood rooms done up in red velvetsputtering stars fighting to shine their light through earth's twinkly muggy atmosphereand wildflowers growing raggedly from a crack in barren rock

i want to make someone's sadness my owncup a fallen star in my hand as it burnsshelter it from tempestuous windsshade it from the garish glare of sunshine

on summer nights i lie in the crunchy golden grasslook at the ghosts of giantsplaced in the night sky to remind uswe all must pass onwe are only visitors here in this strange landi love themtheir tragic storiesheroes fallen in crumpled heapsmythical beasts slain in fields of bloodtiny cold lights their most eloquent “in memoriam”

the sun comes outstories fade to soothing baby blueheroes and their eulogies forgottentheir wonders exist only in darkness

will heaven be all light all the timewill there be the dark spaces between the stars orwill they be filled in with such blinding light that there won't be any stars at allwill there be shadows dancing from the fireplace onto cozy earthen wallswill the forest still hold its dark secretive appeal orwill the leaves in the canopies be forced to move asidelet in the lightreveal her secret placeswill all music be in major chordsall clouds cumulusall stories have happy endingswill we mourn our damned loved ones orwill our grief be enough to save themorwill we have to forget in our happiness that we ever loved them at all

when we are stars ourselves will we all shine the same stark whitecan I shine burgundyolive orburnt siennalet my dark desires be the catalysts that make me more like godlet my self burn up beautifully like a meteor as I near perfectionlet the forest shelter foxes in her secret places and murky mysterieslet the gnarled roots of this old oak tree hold the branches highlet my scarsbemy beautyor i’ll choose to stay right here in the gloom of cloudy duska wizened and bent old beggar manwho can’t bring himself to pick one sad little flowerwho will have to bring that one he’s yet to meet down here insteadwho has maybe found a new kind of grace