Kids and Earthquakes — and Other Natural Disasters

Question:

"My toddler was with me when an earthquake struck. How do I explain what happened to her?"

A shaking earth can shake up a toddler, who craves control
and security. But toddlers are also an oblivious bunch. If your little one
didn’t so much as flinch during the quake, you may not need to say a thing. In
fact, an explanation of an earthquake might sound scarier to a child who hasn’t
experienced one. But if your sweetie seemed rattled (literally) or if she might
hear about the earthquake at preschool, a quick chat, with loads of reassurance,
can ease her mind. And these tips don’t just apply to tremors: They work for
any kind of natural disaster.

Keep
calm. Toddlers follow
your cues in any situation but especially in emergencies. If you seem unsure or
nervous, your mini-me will follow suit and get stressed. Instead, stay
even-keeled and comfort your toddler — without going overboard. A tighter-than-usual hug or a
remark like “Thank goodness you’re okay!” can make your munchkin sense that
something is amiss.

Answer
her questions. When she
asks, “What’s that!” or looks alarmed, a simple, “That’s an earthquake” (or a
hurricane or blizzard) can be your opening line when talking to kids about
earthquakes and other natural disasters. Knowing the name for what she’s
experiencing may make it seem more normal — and this brief conversation may be enough to satisfy your
critter’s curiosity.

Give
more info if she wants it. You
don’t want to overwhelm your cutie with details that she can’t possibly understand
(“Some places get more earthquakes than others”) — or that will bore her
without making her feel better. But if
she asks follow-up questions, it means she can handle the information — as long
as you keep it simple and age-appropriate. For instance, if she asks, “What’s an
earthquake?” you can say, “You know how you move your body when you’re uncomfortable?
The earth does that too sometimes.” Just
don’t be surprised if she keeps repeating the same questions — hearing your
explanations again and again can help her feel more secure and in control.

Stay
honest. Though it’s
tempting to say, “Oh, hurricanes never happen around here,” to allay your
child’s fears, it could make her feel insecure if one does strike. And she’ll
be less likely to believe you the next time you tell a tall tale.

Let
her express herself in other ways. Maybe your tot’s not a big talker. Just because she can’t
verbalize what she’s feeling (or isn’t comfortable doing it), she may still be
worried. So give her a crayon and encourage her to draw or have her talk about
her “dolly’s feelings.”

Explain
that it’s okay to be scared. Minimizing her toddler fears
won’t make them go away. Make it clear that you understand that she’s afraid
and remind her that you (and your partner and her babysitters and so on) are
there to keep her safe. Then, cue the cuddles!

Turn
off the TV. In the days
following a natural disaster, news shows will be talking (ad nauseam) about the
event. They may even show images that can frighten your small fry. Do your best
to keep kids and earthquake news far from each other. If you can’t shut off the
TV because you’re in a doctor’s
waiting room or a fancy elevator, tap into your arsenal of
distractions, Mom. Take out a toy, start singing a song, make funny
faces — you get the idea.

Involve
her in preparing for an emergency. If a hurricane’s a-comin’, your child can
benefit from taking part in getting ready. She’ll feel more secure when she sees
that you’re taking measures to protect your family. So bring her to the store
when you stock up and tell her what you’re doing (“We’re buying batteries for
flashlights so we can see in case it gets dark during the storm”).

If your child seems preoccupied with the natural disaster for
days after it occurred, talk to her pediatrician. She may need
some extra support to feel safe again.

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