2/25/2013

Note to Glenn Beck: Don't Open Yourself Up to a Full Nelson from the WWE:
When the Rude Pundit was a kid in Florida, one of his favorite things to do with the menfolk in his family was go to check out the "professional wrestling" at the local coliseum. Back in the day, he got to see Dusty Rhodes, Cowboy Bill Watts, and more. He got to see a battle royal with Andre the Giant. It was big, dumb fun, before the corporatized days of Wrestlemania and the WWE (or, previously, F). Even though many people wanted to know if it was fake or real, the fans didn't give a shit. In the moment, it was real. If the American Dream, as Dusty Rhodes called himself, took off his elbow pads and became a gentle flower cultivator, it didn't matter.

Back in that time, the "bad guys" were often foreign; be it your mad Sheik or your Toru Tanaka, you were always encouraged to boo at the non-white dude while men in cowboy boots stomped them.

Why bring this up? Because it's encouraging to find out that the current WWE champion is a Mexican character, Alberto del Rio, who is a widely loved "good guy." And the bad guys gunning for him are two redneck Tea Party members, Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger, whose rhetoric is just like anything you'd hear at a teabagger rally.

Why bring this up? Because internet radio host Glenn Beck got all upset at the portrayal of his beloved nutzoid Tea Party as racist jerk-offs who spout meaningless, jingoistic bullshit. He called the WWE's fans "stupid" and wondered, "I just don't see a bunch of progressives going and buying their tickets to the WWE." That's right. Glenn Beck turned against a Republican-led company and its customers.

Why bring this up? Because Beck's jawing off led to this bitch-slapping from "Colter" and "Swagger" (make sure you watch until at least 1:45 in):

Now, of course, this doesn't make up for years of sexism, racism, and homophobia in wrestling. But turning Glenn Beck into an out-of-touch elitist who thinks people are too dumb to know the difference between what's real and what's not? That shit is beautiful. And real.

Note: The Iron Sheik, a WWE villain, went ballistic on Beck. He tweeted to Beck, "you deserve to be waist deep in dog shit drink gasoline you insult my fans Im going to beat the fuck out of you dumb bitch". Oh, Iron Sheik, you speak for us all.