The Bachelor: Chris Soules – Episode 5 RECAP

Tonight’s episode starts out with Chris Soules in Sante Fe, New Mexico. Chris Harrison greets the ladies back in Los Angeles and tells them there will be one group date and two one-on-one dates and tells them they will be going to Sante Fe. A change of scenery is always fun. Megan, bless her heart, keeps talking about how New Mexico is a resort town, lots of beaches, maybe they’ll wear sombreros, and she’s excited because she’s never been out of the country. *face palm* Seriously, girl. ugh.

The ladies check in to a beautiful casino resort. First date card arrives: “Carly – Let’s Come Together”! I’m excited for this. I didn’t like Carly all that much the first night when she came in singing country music, but she’s really grown on me. Her quit wit makes her adorable.

Carly meets up with Chris at this really cool house that’s a southwestern feel to it. They go to the backyard where there’s a woman meditating by a pool. Apparently she’s a love guru… and there’s a storm brewing up above. Looks like it’s going to downpour on them at any minute. They move inside the house and the Love Guru burns some sage around them. Chris says he’s cautiously optimistic about this experience but a little nervous as to how weird it’s going to get. She then instructs Carly to blindfold Chris and to not make a sound, just use breath and touch and to feed him different kinds of fruit and chocolate. Then he does the same with her and gets into some really awkward positions. Chris says in his interview that he’s quickly realizing she’s not a Love Guru, she’s a Sex Guru. The Love Guru then tells them they’re going to de-robe each other and shed the layers they have on to just be more open with each other. Carly looks terrified at this notion and tells Chris she hasn’t been “physically shedding” her clothes for a man in a very long time, and tells Chris to take that into consideration. Chris then goes from looking kind of excited about it to really awkward and serious. Carly first takes off his robe leaving him only in shorts. He then takes off her robe leaving her in a top similar to a sports bra and a skirt. The Guru then asks what piece of clothing does she want to take off next. They both look so uncomfortable. Neither one of them wants to be doing this… it’s just awkward for a first date and weird. She kind of goes to undo his shorts and she whispers to him “I’m kind of uncomfortable.” And he says “so am I. Let’s not do this.” I’m so mad that the producer put them (especially her) in this position!! Why is it always up to the girl to have to say “no”?! He should have stopped it before and said “this is inappropriate for a first date.” So the Guru tells them instead of removing clothing, to just let go of a figurative mask they’ve been hanging on to. Chris says to actually allow him self to fall in love and commit (red flag, ladies!). And she says letting go of the feeling that she is not worthy of love. Awwww. I love you, Carly!! (okay, not the same, I get it) Chris tells her she is worthy. The Guru then had her sit in his lap facing him and without kissing, getting really close. It gets hot, but I have to keep thinking there’s another woman in the room staring at you while you’re doing this!! It’s all just too weird for me.

Back at the house with the rest of the ladies, Kelsey starts out “I had a husband who supported me in EVERYTHING. We took care of each others’ needs…” and goes on to explain how her husband passed away. Ashley I thinks it’s odd she hasn’t brought it up until now and that she seems so cold about it. Date card arrives: Jade, Megan, Kaitlyn, Whitney, Mackenzie, Becca, Samantha, Ashley, and Kelsey. So that means Britt go the other one-on-one date. Kelsey says that doesn’t make her feel special, and that’s not acceptable.

Now back again with Carly and Chris, it’s night time and they have wine by a fire and talk about the experience of the day. Then Carly explains how her last relationship, the guy didn’t want anything to do with her physically. She says it made her feel undesirable. She goes on to describe her insecurities and that Chris really made her feel more secure. Chris said his insecurities comes from thinking that his home, his occupation, isn’t enough for what some of these girls want. It was interesting to hear him say that. Sometimes he comes across as such a player, but maybe it’s to mask his insecurities that he actually has.

Group Date! Looks like they will be going white water rafting on the Rio Grande River. Megan is worried about alligators and dead bodies. Then they get the safety talk from some ranger type guy and he basically scares the crap out of them on what could happen.They get going down the rapids and Jade fell out of the boat. She has a condition that gives her hypothermia in normal degree weather. So they have to park the rafts and get out and get Jade back to feeling better. The other girls get jealous at the attention that Jade is getting while Chris rubs her feet and hands to try to warm her up and get the circulation going again. Kelsey says “I’m not going to get any attention because I’M FINE!” Which I believe is foreshadowing of what’s coming up in a bit.

Cocktail time later on the date and the girls are all dressed up. Chris is walking down to greet them and up walks Jordan who was eliminated in week 2. She looks very different now that she’s sober. Chris says that he let her go because they never had a real conversation. She just consumed too much wine. But the Jordan that’s there today seems way more serious and taking things more seriously. She asks him for a second chance. Meanwhile the other ladies are wondering where Chris is. So when Chris comes to meet up with them and has Jordan on his arm, the girls are SHOCKED. Then each of the girls sit down with Chris and talk about Jordan. Whitney starts doubting Ashley as a mate for Chris because she is being over the top mean about the Jordan situation. Ashley doesn’t feel anyone should be nice to Jordan if they’re truly serious about Chris. Whitney’s take on it is that she just doesn’t think it’s ever okay to just be mean to someone (I agree!!). So this will be interesting to see how the night pans out.

Ahhh… so we’re finally getting to the “Britt doesn’t shower” part of the show that Michelle Money mentioned at the live premiere! Britt is talking with Carly back at the house and says she’s excited for her date and she might even shower. Carly says that Britt hasn’t showered in weeks and laughs and says “why doesn’t she shower?? I don’t know!” How is her hair not more greasy? Maybe from all the time in the pools? The date card says “the sky’s the limit.” And Britt freaks out because she’s so afraid of heights. I can totally relate!! I wouldn’t jump out of a plane or bungee jump just for a guy on a show like this. I FREAK out at heights. I really really understand where Britt is coming from.

Okay, back at the group date Chris and Jordan speak privately. He tells her that he just can’t do this to the other girls and he needs to follow the process. He tells her he has to let her go. He looks very pained at this decision. Jordan says her goodbyes to the girls and Kelsey very dramatically whispers in her ear “I’ll always admire you.” Really? Strange. The tension is thick though even after she leaves. Chris picks this time to hand out the date rose though. And gives it to Whitney! Yay!! She’s such a kind person. But all the other girls get so upset. Ashley is of course crying again. Ashley just cannot stand Whitney.

Chris goes to Britt’s room in the morning to wake her up and “surprise the hell out of her.” So he sneaks down at 4:23 am looking for Britt. She has full makeup on when he wakes her up. Meanwhile Carly is not happy because he tells her to be quiet as he’s waking up Britt and she can hear them exchanging little kisses and such as she’s waking up. It’s a rude way to wake up when she thought she just had this great date with him and she felt so special.

Chris takes away and Britt is freaking out about what the heights thing is going to be on this date. They then pull up to a hot air balloon and Britt is suddenly very excited to do this. I’m not sure I could handle that. She said she feels very safe. I’m not so sure I would. It’s so beautiful, but way too high up for me without a safety net.

Britt and Chris go back to his room in the afternoon. Meanwhile, the ladies discuss Britt back in their room. They discuss the fact that she doesn’t shower or shave her legs. Ashley and Megan tell the other girls that Britt said she just doesn’t really want to get married or have kids right away. Basically she has a hard time committing. So Chris and Britt start discussing how many kids they want and he says like 10. And she says “really?? I want like 100!” The girls feel like she’s just feeding him anything that he wants to hear. Carly is especially upset and feels like a fool because of the way he treated her when he came to get Britt. Chris and Britt go into the bedroom and Chris shuts the door. It definitely looks like they’re going to have sex. Whether or not they really do have sex…. well, we’ll probably find out later.

Britt gets back to the girls’ room and she tells them all about her date. And she tells them that they took “nap” and just spent like two hours in his room. The girls are not buying it. Kelsey sneaks away from the room and marches down to Chris’s room. Kelsey tells Chris her sob story about her late husband. It seems very rehearsed and fake and just…. odd. She says in her interview “oh isn’t my story amazing? It’s tragic. But it’s AMAZING. I love my story.” Wow…. psycho…. this is strange…. it’s all just one big plot. [Click here to read Sanderson Poe’s obituary – it’s creepy to say the least!

Cocktail party…. everyone’s on edge. Kelsey keeps saying she’s confident and it’s really puzzling the other girls. Chris tells the ladies that Kelsey and him had a tough conversation that really hit home with him. Chris gets really emotional halfway through his sentence and walks away. Carly thinks that Kelsey would have gone home tonight but she told her story and now Carly feels like someone else will go home instead. Kelsey launches into this odd speech about “time” and how precious it is. Wow… it’s so strange and fake.

Chris Harrison comes out and tells the ladies that there will not be a cocktail party. His mind is already made up. He knows exactly what he wants to do. The girls are really panicking. Kelsey just gets up and left the room. Then you just hear her wailing in the other room. Cameras finally find her and she’s hysterical on the floor. She is asked if she hit her head. She says no, she thinks she’s having a panic attack. AND IT’S TO BE CONTINUED!!! ugh!! Seriously people!