Gone Ape

Attention America: there is no law that requires you to talk to reporters —particularly not TV reporters. The best time to keep this in mind is if you have been through a traumatic experience or you are the subject of intense scrutiny. It’s an especially good idea not to talk to them if there’s any chance that you might come off as crazy. For example: watch this Today Show interview with Sandra Herold, owner of Travis the chimp, in which she appears nuttier than a can of Planters Cocktail Mix. Be forewarned that the piece includes Herold’s disturbing call to 911.

If your 200 pound chimp maims someone the only person you should be talking to is your lawyer.