Declining Intimacy Vs Declining Attraction

Le Cheatau in an LTR, what are the signs of a lack of rapport vs a lack of attraction?

Declining rapport can occur while the attraction remains strong, but declining attraction rarely occurs while rapport remains strong. To put it another way, within the context of a relationship, and particularly from the woman’s vantage point, rapport cannot exist without attraction, but attraction can exist without rapport.

(Note that declining rapport can be a function of either the man’s or the woman’s withdrawal, and that the originator matters for the course of action necessary to remedy it.)

When a woman is VERY attracted to her boyfriend, it will seem to her as if there is never enough rapport between them. If rapport DOES start to decline, she will paradoxically feel MORE attracted to him. This is her biology’s way of channeling her emotions toward the pursuit of bringing him “back into the fold”. (Double entendre intended.)

If a woman is losing attraction for her boyfriend (these things happen all the time), she will also lose her desire to maintain rapport with him. When a woman has stopped making efforts at rapport, there is nothing a man can do to reinitiate rapport except through reestablishing his attractiveness to her. The attraction MUST PRECEDE the rapport. Any supplicating efforts to “force rapport” will only result in her losing more attraction for him, and the cycle becomes a negative feedback loop ending in house celibacy (for him, only).

Men think intimacy means physical closeness garnished with pillow talk, but women have a different frame of reference. Intimacy to women means pillow talk garnished with physical closeness. (A general rule that breaks down at the margins, or during the ovulatory window in a woman’s monthly fertility cycle.) Rapport is intimacy in woman-world, so when rapport declines (as measured by frequency, intensity, or both) women start to fret about the stability of their relationships. Men don’t notice as much when rapport declines, as long as the sex is still on tap; to men, less chit chat in the bedroom is a sign of progress. But the reality is that less chit chat usually follows less sex, as most women are incapable of experiencing a closing off of the one without a closing off of the other.

The take-home message for men is that a woman’s declining attraction is more crucial to guard against than is her declining rapport. Low levels of rapport can be quickly mitigated. Just talk to her more, and show a soft side. But lowered levels of attraction cannot be fixed by more rapport, a “solution” so reflexively beloved by cloying betabots that will only make the problem worse. For that, you need to amp the alpha, and re-certify your worth as a challenging man with options.

From an aerial perspective, female lack of rapport is synonymous with female lack of attraction. So when you, as a man, are looking for signs of declining rapport in your girlfriend, you are essentially looking also for signs of declining attraction. But the two deleterious female LTR states have some differences worth highlighting. This is especially true in relationships where the woman reluctantly feels a growing realization that her boyfriend, whom she nevertheless loves very much, will not be there for her over the long term, and doesn’t share her goals.

The signs you should watch for include:

Lack of Rapport

She’s stopped asking you questions. (Women in love question everything, all the time. They are never fully reassured, and their hamsters like it that way.)

She still fucks you, but doesn’t want to cuddle afterwards.

She’s stopped sharing details of her day.

She tentatively broaches topics, as if she’s afraid you won’t reciprocate and she has to test the waters first.

She’s stopped nagging you entirely, or she’s begun nagging you way too much. (There is a minimal amount of nagging in a healthy LTR. Too little, she’s lost interest in fixing your idiosyncrasies; too much, she’s lost the ability or will to connect with you emotionally and behave like a girl who values your desires as a man.)

She’s dropped you as a sounding board in favor of her male eunuch orbiters, female friends, and best gay boyfriends.

She perfunctorily agrees with everything you declare because she’s no longer motivated to “hash it out” or “understand each other”.

In contrast to the above, everything she declares seems crafted to be maximally antagonistic to your beliefs and values.

She punctuates every other conversation with a variant of these: “We just don’t see eye to eye anymore” and “You don’t get me like you used to”.

You decide to talk about your relationship, and she eagerly extends it to a five hour marathon discussion.

She is unusually silent during long moments of physical closeness.

She cries a lot for no particular reason.

Lack of Attraction

She’s stopped having sex with you. (A woman can feel an erosion of attraction before she stops fucking you, but the time between her heart shutting down and her vagina shutting down is typically very short.)

She’s begun flirting more with waiters, bartenders and guy friends when you go out together.

She negs you, except that her negs are more backhanded than complimentary, and not meant to put you in the mood.

She scoffs at your idle musings.

She’ll take any excuse to denigrate you.

She looks bored. Especially when you talk.

She winces when you touch her.

She no longer initiates any physical contact. You must do all the work, and it feels like more work than ever.

She’s begun showering her cat with an excessive amount of sloppy affection, while you sit on the sofa wondering if you need to purr and poop in a box to get her to love you like that.

Remember when she used to punch you affectionately? Now she punches you for real.

You try to talk about your relationship, and she hastily changes the subject.

You buy her a gift. She looks at you with pity in her eyes.

She found your browser porn history. She doesn’t care.

You start to feel like the woman in the relationship. Even worse: she’s started to feel like the man.

*****

As you can see, there’s a lot of overlap and similarity between a woman’s declining rapport and her declining attraction. The most obvious distinction is the providing or withholding of sex by her. So, really, if you want a shortcut for determining the health of your LTR, just pay attention to how often and how vigorously she puts out. You won’t be led astray feeling for the tingle of the Telltale Twat.

I was more or less in the same boat as you recently with a girl I’m seeing.

She was very upset at some callous comment I made regarding me not including her in my New Years Plans. I apologized but didn’t lose the frame. She went on to try to give me the silent treatment. It was like a Mexican standoff but at that point I said fuck it which was easy because there were other plates I was trying to spin.

-After 5 days of silence she called and left a voicemail the day before Xmas eve. I didn’t reply.
– She sent me a Merry Xmas text filled with emoticons on Xmas. I didn’t reply.
-3 days after Xmas she asked if I wanted to “how about holiday sex no strings attached zero dark thirty?” I didn’t reply.
– the next day I replied with “Sure”.
– the day after that she invited me to the movies, made dinner afterward and had awesome sex. Nothing regarding hard feelings ever came up and I acted like nothing ever happened.

This is just one example but what I learned was my silence towards her made her want to win me back. She went from “fuck him I’m not going to talk to him anymore” to “ok I should check on him before he goes home for Xmas” to “ok I should wish him merry Xmas before its over” to “ok fine let me see if he wants to fuck and watch one of his action movies. ”

TL;DR give her the silent and indifferent treatment but if commenters unanimously agree to do otherwise then listen to them.

This post is so right on time it’s uncanny. I was seeing this chick for 5 months. Complete party girl, me and her would go out raving doing all kinds of stuff i really liked her. Me being aloof, she’d be telling me that i’m the only one she hasn’t been able to figure out in her life, wanted to meet my parents when they came to visit me and on top of this she used to live 3h away she’d always visit me. All this time i was never sure if i was the only one in her life but i was sure she’d keep coming back.
Anyways she went south africa for 6months to travel and stayed over at mine before she flew. However she came back early before xmas because she ran out of money and didn’t tell me she was back. Ever since that i’ve been really pissed off but haven’t shown any signs of anger. It’s been distant texts and no phone calls or skype. She msgd me over xmas but that’s about the only time she initiated a txt.
Basically the tides have turned and now i’m in the chaser mode. Normally i wouldn’t give a fuck about a bitch but she was my party girl. I’m really upset.
Tried to get her on skype twice but she said she was busy, invited her last wknd but she came up with a lame excuse to which i concluded ‘right’ on chateau’s advice.
Should i just do the silent treatment as i’ve been doing and get on with my life or should i post some photos of me having fun on facebook/ call her?
I’m all ears.

A very cool slut. I think you’re trying to help me but it’s not helping. I still want that bitch back for good times. Probably the cure is to go out meet more women but they won’t be as cool as her mark my words.

She’s gone. She sucked a bunch of dick on her trip and realized there are other guys out there who are fun besides you. Now that she’s back she’s either found someone who’s more convenient than you or she’s simply got some perspective now and doesn’t believe you’re worth the 3hr trip to “party with” anymore.

Either way, you have one-itis and won’t get her back in your current headspace. Time to GFTOW.

“Tried to get her on skype twice but she said she was busy, invited her last wknd but she came up with a lame excuse ”

Not good. I concur with the above posters, drop her. At least don’t actively search her or try to communicate or meet her. If you two should meet again it should be due to her chasing you. don’t answer texts right away. Check out immoralgables story above.

All 5 months of work (on my behalf) just to have it undone while she’s briefly away. It’s bullshit that bitches can be so cut throat about it. I feel helpless because if i show any emotion it makes things worse, but if i dont do anything about it then i’ll nvr know.
Unsalvagable..

This is a Soft Next. Not sure if you executed it on purpose as a strategy or by fluke because you were legitimately disinterested in talking to her but ya, you executed it perfect and it did what it was supposed to. Well done!:

It escalated into Cold war when it’s awkward to try to contact each other. Just like the Cold war, it fizzled into nothingness.

I’m still not sure if my actions were wise back then. She’s a very interesting talker with a lot of bright ideas, back when she’s comfortable around me. Now it’s just awkward silence between us. It’s a shame, people like her are rare these days.

Well, I pretty much did stop talking to her. I let her bitch, but I twisted the story to make it look like she was really the bitch in it (even though mine was the real dick move). She called the next day feeling really bad and apologized. There were no sorrys, and there was no groveling from me.

“but I twisted the story to make it look like she was really the bitch in it”

This was the key part in it. Stronger frame wins, so if you tell her she was being a bitch and then stop communicating, she’ll start falling into that frame of “omg he really thinks I was a bitch, maybe I was if he feels that strongly that I was!!”

I would have txted her “You’re acting like a child.” or “You’re being ridiculous.” and then Soft Nexted her for a week. Basically the same thing you did.

When she comes back to you, it’s best to just be chill about it. She’ll apologize/grovel and you just brush it off like “It’s cool. You can buy the first round on Friday. I’ll pick you up at 7, dress up.” etc.

Glad it worked out! And more importantly, glad you can tell she was just testing you (she was probably doing it subconsciously).

This “hole” stuff fits into none of those. Working yourself out of imaginary “holes” is playing at femdom role-playing games of supplication. Seeking her favor in letting you get out of an imaginary hole is not a life priority. Unless that your kink, of course.

Remember that most women are not into supplicating guys, which is why femdom is largely a male fetish. Don’t let such thinking creep into your life. A large part of what this site is about is trying to get men clued into how self-defeating such supplication actually is.

So if you really care about your woman, then after a few months, you’re gonna be in a position where you have to FORCE yourself to service your her [if you’re married, “to service” = “to perform your marital obligations”]:Three or four times a week, at 9PM or 10PM at night, after a long hard day at work, when you’re completely exhausted, you’re going to have to FORCE yourself to summon the energy to make that move in bed, to start feeling up your woman, to maybe eat her out for 20 or 30 minutes, and then to bone her for another 30 or 45 minutes, so that she gets a good 2 or 3 or 4 orgasms [and you gotta hold back that whole time so that she gets her orgasms in, before you can finally release once and for all and then immediately fall sound asleep for a good 8 hours or more].

And that shit is hard, HARD, HARD work.

Trust me – as counterintuitive as it may seem – in an LTR, the man loses interest in the sex LONG before the woman loses interest in it.

And a loving husband just has to grit his teeth, suck it up, and force himself to give his wife what she needs.

PS: Everything I have just written is dead serious – it is NOT satire [just in case anyone thinks I’m being a smart ass].

Truth. I’m in that dilemma now. I’ve been dating the current GF for like 9 months (flew by – didn’t even we’ve been dating that long). I love spending time with her as we are both artsy/crafty, enjoy the same boring/wholesome activities, have the sense of humor, etc. and after 9 months is still content just to see me on the weekends. Except the sex is getting boring. Put it in, slap her, choke her, she licks my ass, cum somewhere in or on her, rinse and repeat is actually gotten boring! Never thought I’d see that day.

Now the internal debate is whether to keep the cool, cute but not hot, youngin’ or hunt down some hotter, newer tail who will probably have a worse personality and be more clingy. What say ye internets?

If you had structured an open relationship from the start, you could have the best of both worlds.🙂

I find my ideal situation is to have a Primary (all my girls know about her and know she comes first to me, I do all the relationship type stuff with her, holidays are spent with her, she gets to hear me say “I love you”, she knows I hook up with other girls here and there when I’m on my own time but doesn’t know the details or frequency and I screen her to make sure she’s low drama about it, and she knows that she is a million times more important to me than any other girls and that I’ll always come back to her (making her trust this last bit is the hardest part, a girl’s biggest fear is that you’ll replace her), she’s allowed to call all my other girls “your whores/sluts/etc” like “oh were you with one of your whores yesterday?” and I refer to them the same way to her if I mention them (I generally don’t of course)), a rotating Secondary (we basically just fuck, she’s ideally super kinky like the kind of sex that’s a blast but would be exhausting to have every day, i say rotating because she can be a little drama it doesn’t matter (often the sex is better with crazy girls) because I can easily replace her if she’s too much drama, she knows about my Primary and isn’t allowed to talk smack about her (unless its dirty talk during sex lol) and she knows I have the occasional Other fling but doesn’t know any details and she knows she’s above them (but under my Primary) and is allowed to call them whores/sluts/etc, often i like when this girl has a BF/husband because it means she won’t try to become my Primary so I can avoid that possible drama), and finally I have Other girls who are just randoms that I hook up with once or twice or pretty infrequently etc. Usually these are bar ONS types. These girls can be any level of drama, I don’t care, as long as they’re hot and a decent lay. They know about my Primary and that she’s top priority but they don’t know about my Secondary because it doesn’t matter, they know I have Other girls and that they’re part of that Other girls and would assume my Secondary is an Other…basically the bottom of the pile sees my setup as a two tier system (Primary and Other) instead of three tier (Primary, Secondary, Other).

The end result of this setup is that my Primary gets my full attention, I’ll cancel on my Secondary/Others if she needs me or if we have plans or whatever so my Primary gets the full boyfriend experience she wants. My Secondary gets to fuck me every week or so (seeing her more than once a week = oxytocin makes her start getting clingy and want Primary position especially if she’s single), so if sex with my Primary gets boring or if my Primary holds out on sex as a punishment for something, that’s fine because I can bang my Secondary…so I keep the ability to Soft Next punish unacceptable behavior from my Primary which is a power monogamous guys give up by promising monogamy. My Secondary is forced to respect my Primary or GTFO so I don’t get drama between the two of them or if I cancel on her for my Primary, because I was honest and up front and she knows her place in the chain and she gets her ego fed because she knows she’s above all the Other girls which gives her the validation she needs (“I’m not queen bee but I’m better than all those bitches”). And on top of all that I can go hunt random poon when I’m out on the weekends with my buddies, guilt-free, and I don’t have to scurry around and hide shit and make sure there aren’t any bobbypins on my floor or anything. I don’t have a massive sex drive so I only need a couple lays a week minimum to be satisfied, so between my Primary and Secondary I usually have that filled no problem and Others tend to just happen if I come across a chick I have awesome chemistry with or a chick who has a certain look/style I want to bang, etc.

I’ve had this setup a few times over the years and it’s the one that I’m the happiest day-to-day in lol it’s tricky to manage at first, though ultimately it’s not that time consuming: 1-3 nights/days a week with my Primary, a booty call from my Secondary once a week, and picking up poon for a Same Night Lay on the weekends…I don’t spend ANY time dating/courting my Secondary or Others (aside from some txting). Secondary knows meeting up is purely to get our fuck on then leave, and Others either put out that night or come over for a booty call or I bail…if I meet a nice Other who needs 2 or 3 dates to warm up and put out and is looking for a boyfriend etc, eff it, I throw a hail mary and try to escalate fast/hard and if she doesn’t go for it I cut my losses and bail, not worth my time when I have a solid Primary and Secondary (if I’m single that’s different). Also there are strict rules involved for myself, and the roles have to be defined solid (ie – if I’m out with my Secondary and my Primary shows up, both my Primary and Secondary know that I’ll ditch my Secondary to hang with my Primary and if Secondary has a problem with that, she gets a Soft Next and if she keeps having a problem with it she gets a Hard Next and reduced to Other status and I move an Other into Secondary status).

For guys who think this arrangement is impossible or a fluke, you’d be surprised how accepting girls are of their role as long as it’s clearly defined and you are congruent about it. It’s when you get wishy-washy and Secondary finds out you cancelled on her for an Other or you spend Valentine’s Day with your Secondary instead of your Primary etc where shit hits the fan.

Like the Joker says: “Nobody panics when everything goes according to plan…even if the plan is horrifying.”

I learned a lot of this setup from Hugh Hefner’s reality show lol. I was as surprised as anyone the first time I arranged it and the girls were all fine with it despite all logic saying they shouldn’t be. I remember feeling like “there doesn’t seem to be ANY downside to this, wtf?? I’ve found a cheat code!!” This isn’t just on submissive bar sluts either lol. You have to try it and experience it to understand all the dynamics that make it work. Most guys won’t though, and I’m aware of that. I’m posting it mostly for documentation for future guys who are close to figuring this out and are Googling for help and examples of it since as more men wake up to how much of a scam Marriage is, guys will start looking for alternative relationship arrangements lol

How and when do you let the primary know this? It seems like you would have to show you were worth keeping before a lady would decide to stick with this arrangement.

Do you worry about disease? A major benefit of a monogamous relationship is condomless, on the pill sex.

Do you ever have free time? Seeing my one girl on the weekends is hard enough if I want any time to myself. I’m not doubting your method, but you must clearly be an extrovert who doesn’t need time alone to recharge.

You can always go forward in a relationship, so you can go from seeing a bunch of girls, to just one or two girls, to monogamy, and not only is that progress to her but it makes her feel great like she’s won you over.

But you can’t go the other way, from monogamy to seeing multiple girls, because then she reads it as “there’s something wrong with our relationship, I don’t satisfy him anymore, so now he’s branching out” and you’re in for drama city.

So from the start she has to know that you’re not a monogamy fan, that you like variety, that being forced into monogamy makes you feel trapped in a cage and makes you resent the girl trapping you, and that you can’t promise monogamy…but you DO care about her and like her more than other girls, and you may go play around (safely) to scratch that itch for variety, but those girls are nothing compared to her and they’re meaningless and she’s always going to be your top priority over them.

You have to screen for girls that are alright with this Primary role, some of them are 100% adamant against it but you’d be surprised how many are alright with it if you’re high value to them. They’d rather have you 90% of the time than not have you at all. And like I say, their biggest fear is that you’ll fuck some bar slut and fall in love with that one and ditch her…so you have to do a lot of reassuring that those girls are meaningless to you and that she always comes first and let her know you tell those girls you’re taken and if they have a problem with it they can fuck off etc.

A lot of girls will say they aren’t okay with it, but it’s only because they expect the worst…like they think it’s going to be awful, and then when you date them for a few months and they feel 100% like they have a legit boyfriend, they start to realize “okay, what he does in his spare time really doesn’t affect us” and they’re willing to give it a shot…though down the road they can change their mind as they get closer to the marriage/kids timer counting down.

For the Secondary and Others role, generally the Secondary is an Other who’s fun, good in bed, and relatively drama free, so you basically upgrade an Other. But you can tell them right from the start that you have a girlfriend but have an open relationship and she knows you play around on the side etc. and, as long as you’re high-value, none of those girls give a shit about her and will still fuck you lol You just make sure not to see them too frequently so they don’t fall in love or think you’re falling in love. Like I say, you have to be strict about keeping everyone in their place.

“It seems like you would have to show you were worth keeping before a lady would decide to stick with this arrangement.”

Yup. Basically be an awesome guy who keeps her attracted. When you’re honest from the start that you play around, if she gets involved with you then she’s okay with that (and even attracted to it) on some level…VS taking a super traditional monogamy girl with really strict religious morals who would never date a guy who sees multiple girls to begin with. Essentially her dating you knowing you’re a player is her consenting to this kind of setup.

So from there you simply start being less and less blatant about playing around as you spend more time with her so that eventually you’re seeing her as much and in the same way a boyfriend would, and the other girls have faded to the background and you’re much more discreet about it. If she asks, you be honest, but reassure her that she’s your number one and change the subject ASAP.

A lot of guys’ problem is they date a girl while secretly seeing girls on the side, so that girl thinks they’re monogamous, and then they go “This girl is great but I’m bored, how do I convince her to let me play around?” and it’s like well, you kind of can’t, because you lied to her and hid who you really are to dupe her in, instead of screening for a girl who’s just as cool a chick but knows who you really are (a guy who plays the field).

“Do you worry about disease? A major benefit of a monogamous relationship is condomless, on the pill sex.”

Nah, I’m safe with my randoms and get tested every few months. And I don’t do condomless sex even with my Primary…honestly I just don’t trust women these days to take the pill properly, especially if they’re 25+. I have too much to do to life/career-wise to get trapped with a kid.

Imagine your girl tells you tomorrow that she’s pregnant and keeping it. How would you feel hearing that? That shit is too scary to me to go condomless lol

“Do you ever have free time? Seeing my one girl on the weekends is hard enough if I want any time to myself.”

Ya, lots. Most normal monogamy guys see their girl almost daily or live together. I don’t live with mine but I like my free time so for me seeing her falls between 1-3 times a week. If I’m bored or she’s feeling neglected/insecure about her position, I’ll crash for a couple nights and have a date night all in one week. But if we’re doing alright or I have work to do, or just need some time to myself, I’ll just see her once every week or so.

Personally for me once a week is enough lol but I have to juggle it a bit depending on how she feels because I’m running an intricate system here. If I made my Primary and Secondary both Others so all I had were Others, I’d see her once every few weeks or whenever was convenient…but because I’m specifically choosing to maintain a “girlfriend” relationship with her, while also keeping the rest of my stable, I have a little more work to do to make sure it doesn’t explode in my face.

In terms of time consumption, the Primary girl is your main one and you see her as often as you’d see a normal monogamy girlfriend…say once a week most of the time (I use Sundays or a Weeknight). Your Secondary is literally just a fuck. So when you arrange something with her, say every 2 weeks, all you’re spending on her is like she comes over, you guys go straight to the bedroom, fuck, and she leaves as soon as you’re both finished…so that can be over in like half an hour, though I like to spend a whole evening with them. They don’t stay overnight though, that’s blurring the Primary/Secondary line which leads to trouble.

The Others you just fuck when you’re out with friends at the bar hitting on girls, so unless you had epic “me time” plans for 2am on a Saturday, it’s not really any inconvenience. Those ones you kick out as soon as you’re done or early the next morning. And really for me, if my Primary and Secondary are both putting out and I have a solid kinky Secondary where we have crazy wild sex, I don’t really care about hunting down Others very often…I’ll go out to keep the skills sharp but actually picking up becomes less frequent because I already have 2 awesome chicks keeping me satisfied so if the Other is in any way difficult or annoying I’m just like “eh, fuck it then” and move on lol

The main time-consumer is actually the txting lol The Others each need a handful of txt game to prime them for sex on the first meet-up. The Secondary tends to need a few txts a week just to keep a connection going and not feel like a total slut you only like because she has a pussy. The Primary needs daily txts full of gay kisses and “sweet dreams babe!” shit. I don’t talk on the phone with any of them, except my Primary if we haven’t seen eachother in a week or so and she wants to chat.

Now this YaReally Trifecta system (lol) is the ideal, but I don’t have it 24/7. The Primary spot is hard to fill and often I don’t even want a Primary…it’s just for when I meet a chick who’s worth keeping around. My current Primary I’ve been seeing for about 2.5 years. Also the Secondary spot comes and goes depending on the girl. Sometimes the Secondary girl will stop seeing me to focus on her own relationship, or she’ll meet a guy and boyfriend up, or get attached to me and I’ll have to ditch her, or she’ll cause too much drama and I have to ditch her, etc. Or sometimes I’ll meet another Other who’s awesome in a different way from my Secondary and I can end up with two Secondaries, at which point I pretty much don’t have the time/energy for Others lol, but that can get complicated fast since the original Secondary will start to notice that she’s got competition. Realistically this problem doesn’t happen very often.

Like right now I lost my Secondary, so I have a Primary and Others. There are a couple Others that would LOVE to be my Secondary, but I don’t make a girl my Secondary just for the hell/convenience of it…the two that would like to be in that role just aren’t the right type to me (good lays, but not personalities or personal lives that I want to get mixed up in). So over the winter here I’m picking up Others and keeping an eye out for any that impress me enough to be my Secondary.

But this is the ideal system to me, when it’s fully functioning. It’s the setup where my Primary is txting me telling me she loves me and wishing me good-night, as my Secondary leaves after an epic fuck with scratch-marks down my back, and my buddy is txting me asking when I’m coming over the pre-drink on Friday before we go out to find some Others, and I lay on my bed going “Fuck I love my life. :)”

Seems like the best solution to declining intimacy/attraction to a particular woman is intimacy with and attraction to other women. Every man has to choose what they want from women, but my experience so far is that no one woman is worth a tremendous amount of effort and in fact this could be counterproductive. If you’re in a position where you need to “rescue” a relationship, it’s probably too late. If I were married or had kids with a woman I’d have greater urgency, but it seems like the more you invest the more likely you’re to encounter a decline in attraction/intimacy. As I recall one of Rollo’s Iron Rules is that the person with the most power in a relationship is the one who needs the other least.

If you continue to look at stuff like she does which is trying to prove she is better than the bitches around her it becomes easy to see most of the time the best course of action is to just find a girl she knows she can’t become, flirt with her and see the reaction. Of course use with the needed tact to retain frame and character.

Every girl I’ve ever wanted to remember I always do the “your lucky, but youve got competition” plan which charms them and their perpetual victimhood into believing their own counterparts are the competition, which allows me to be the selector lol

Ah, another subject I am a complete master of. And by that of course I mean Maintaining rapport is something I have little clue how to do other than the following:

*Lead her to like what I want
*Typically do a small amount of good for her when she does a large amount of good for me
*From time to time mention something inside of her interest pool that she does not expect me to know about, thanks to the internet this takes no more then 10 minutes of work to discover and maybe a day worth of practice.
*Keep up the witty banter, unless she asks for it, then withhold it like a cat trying to decide if I should go in or out

Given that this is not my forte I have another one to add to your list on loss of rapport:

#1She starts planning things that require you to make a huge adjustment and (mostly) tries to force you into going through with it: e.g. move to a new town so she can go to a school she likes etc.

Which leads me to #2 and the more important of these – You know this wasn’t decided until after a point where rapport declined.

Shit, if my relationship has reached the point where she’s lost attraction, fuck her, I’ll go grab another bitch. Who the hell needs that crap? Whenever a woman acts pissy I tell them “There’s the door.”

Many times they go and don’t come back, which just confirms my suspicion that the relationship was doomed anyway and before the week is out, new bitch in the bed.

Women aren’t worth heavy emotional investments anymore, they aren’t worth “working” for and they sure as hell aren’t worth giving up anything valuable. Especially time and mental energy. No single woman is worth it.

“Women aren’t worth heavy emotional investments anymore, they aren’t worth “working” for and they sure as hell aren’t worth giving up anything valuable. Especially time and mental energy. No single woman is worth it.”

So pessimistic, what has gotten you so upset?

If a woman loses attraction to you it’s usually because you’re not leading her. Maybe it’s too much work to get her mind revolving around you??? Let’s face it, you probably weren’t in love with her to begin with and didn’t want to invest in her much time and effort. It was all about the sex, and you liked it when she appeared more into you than you into to her. Now that it’s not the case, you couldn’t care less and rather she goes away and you move on to a new conquest. Chances are, you’ll feel the exact same way about the new conquest eventually. It’s a vicious cycle repeating itself.

I would view this as beta bait. Either that or you are displaying some kind of incongruent which isn’t allowing her to classify you one way or the other. Similar to you talking the talk of an alpha but displaying beta behaviors when shit gets real. Only you know the dynamic to think on that one.

If it is beta bait however, I would not try to calm her nerves or develop rapport from a position of weakness. Meaning that if you are going to do something nice or a display or beta (which are necessary from time to time), DO NOT do it because her insecurities are forcing your and thus causing you to fold into the frame(/trap) she has set.

“If Facebook has shown me anything, it’s that women have no idea what they want until they’re shown it.”

That’s right! And why do you think? Because they change their minds often and can develop feelings for a man who knows how to game them and makes them feel like he’s an alpha. It can even be a short guy or an older man, as long as he’s emitting alpha vibes, girls will fall for him hard.

But I wonder if men change their minds about their type the same way women do? For instance, if a man likes blondes would he end up with a brunette? If he likes them petite, would he end up with a taller girl instead? Or are men pretty much fixed on what they like from the get go – they might sleep with a variety of women but end up marrying or dating long term only girls that are close to their type?

If you ask me the questions, you are compiling here my simple response is, a man needs a wife who can cook and clean but he also desires a slut who won’t complain in the bed, If you can’t keep both of these traits than it doesn’t matter if you’r a blond, burnette or petite, I will likely be your fuck buddy but would never try to enter in a serious picture with you.

Once i had a serious relationship before all of this wacky things i am doing right now, I had this girl who would do everything i liked, Fishing, hunting, playing video games, doing sight seeings, she was a simple girl with a nerdy look, probably a 7 and with a petite figure (my choices are blonde😀 because they are brainless and fuck like a supermodel) she never in her life shown anything that said “I am a slut in bed, come and ravage me”, i had fun with her most of my high school days and did had some wonderful time in bed, but once she touched me with a serious question of “Sex hurts” My reply was a simple LJBF and never in my life i thought her reaction would be like a mad banshee, I nearly collapsed with a headache and after that never saw her again, i did messaged her for a weekend out but she replied with a “fuck you”😀, In a facebook reply she once told me that she is serious about a long term relationship, sure as hell i was lucky that she was the one who opted out😀.

Darling, thank you for your reply. It could be you one day. My boyfriend, 57 now, was 54 when I met him. Things were fine then but now…well, mind is willing but flesh is not. orgasm would be one thing. It would be nice if my boyfriend could even get hard to a degree that I could feel it. He already does take viagra. It worked for a while, but it’s getting worse and worse. Literally, I can’t feel his dick inside of me despite it’s considerable size. And he cums in like 1 minute. How many years can I do this for? Not anymore.

[Heartiste: Sexual chemistry is necessary but not sufficient for a satisfying romantic relationship. Without it, you just have an affectionate companion. May as well get a pet and save the hassle of cooking for two. So I sympathize with you. He’s at that age were these sorts of malfunctions become apparent, but you also need to be brutally honest with yourself. Do you consider yourself attractive and sexy enough to stimulate him fully? I’ve known a few older men who found renewed life down there when they upgraded from their frump ex-wives to nubile younger lovers. If you don’t think your looks and vibe or his flagging desire are the issue, then it’s time to turn off the sugar daddy spigot and fall in love again. But if you want to stay with him, consider coordinating a vigorous shared workout routine. If he’s healthier, his dick will work better. Side note: I know a couple girls who are dating much older men. I’ve met the guys, and although their faces betray their age, they are in better shape than most men decades younger. They both run marathons and rock climb. And the girls have NO complaints about their sex lives. If anything, they brag too much about it.]

It could really be my fault. Either he his tired of me just because I am the same girl again and again and he doesn’t want to admit it, or I am too fat or something. It’s possible. Most of the strangely high amount of girls he hangs out with are both younger and hotter than me.

Every once in a while my boyfriend does get pretty hard for me and he fucks me for a while. Usually when I try really hard by putting on porn star make up on and 5 inch stripper heels and whatnot.

“I’ve known a few older men who found renewed life down there when they upgraded from their frump ex-wives to nubile younger lovers.”

I’d be in better shape if that’s what happened to me. But it’s not. My still married boyfriend, who I promise is totally a beta male at heart, gave up a revolving door of even younger women in order to be monogamous to me. He had his reasons, I suppose. Certainly, it was all his idea.

[Heartiste: I’ve generally found that when women insist their partners are kind, considerate lovers (aka beta males) the veracity of their assertions breaks down upon closer inspection. With a keen eye and ear, I can tell pretty quickly which women are married to true beta males and which women are with alpha males donned in superficial beta garb.

Be that as it may, it’s one of the tragedies of womankind that their sex must endure the suffering of irreversible male sexual indifference with time. No matter how hot you keep yourself, with enough bonings a man will grow weary and yearn for vagina variety. It is wired in us, and the best women can hope for is that the alpha male of their dreams has enough practiced self-abnegation to avoid the temptations of straying too far for too long. This doesn’t mean you should give up on looking as good as possible; the hotter you are, the longer it will take for your partner to muse about his sexual market options, and the less inclined he will be to avail himself of those options when they become attainable. If you want to lose your man fast, you can’t go wrong packing on the pounds and acting like the Bitch Queen.]

“the hotter you are, the longer it will take for your partner to muse about his sexual market options,”

I am sure he muses about his options a lot. I mean, he even tells me so sometimes. Like, “well I could have fucked Jane that day, but she’s got so many issues.” He’s just the type. It’s odd as I have never dated anyone like this. Usually I am the only attractive woman my boyfriend keeps in regular contact with. Right now, I honestly feel like the least attractive woman my boyfriend keeps in regular contact with other than his professional contacts.

“and the less inclined he will be to avail himself of those options when they become attainable”

He doesn’t want to, so he says. I don’t understand what is going on. Seriously. When I met him, he was living with his wife and sleeping with all sorts of women on the side. He’s the one that decided to date me seriously and he’s the one that decided to get us a place together. He took it upon himself to go to Sex Addicts anon or whatever. Said he felt bad about needing so much attention from so many women. Said he wanted to feel fulfilled with just me.

He tells me he’s much happier with just me and that he’s glad he lives without the need for more and more women.

Hey Chateau. Thanks man. All of the lack of rapport signs we’re there.

This spoke the most to our situation

“This is especially true in relationships where the woman reluctantly feels a growing realization that her boyfriend, whom she nevertheless loves very much, will not be there for her over the long term, and doesn’t share her goals.”

We ended up breaking up for long distance.

Is there anyway to spin this plate, so we’re still fucking in the summer?

[…] If a woman is losing attraction for her boyfriend (these things happen all the time), she will also lose her desire to maintain rapport with him. When a woman has stopped making efforts at rapport, there is nothing a man can do to reinitiate rapport except Source: Chateau Heartiste […]

can’t seem to find a forum link here so posting it under comments. came to this website by accident. im a girl. typical one – in love with a guy that is an ass** (all theories confirmed). we dated, i didnt care, he stopped caring, i started caring. i fell in love. he broke it off. 3 yrs on, we are friends (close but no sex). I want out of the friendship zone but hell, hard to control my feelings so I end up being overly nice and overly everything. Not challenging. Hard for me to play hard to get when all I wanna do is be honest.
Any advice? I know, ignore him but I’m afraid that if I ignore I lose the friendship and if i lose the friendship i lose a chance (of being close to him etc)
Should i just give up on everything? I guess i kinda know what to do but im still asking for some advice. Can’t talk to girls, don’t trust their judgment or validity of arguments (I’m a girl, I should now).🙂
Sorry if this is the wrong place to post.

You don’t seem to have the upper hand here which should tell you something if long term commitment is what you desire from this guy.

I don’t want to help the other side so I’m going to tell you to keep pursuing him like you are so you can be another piece of poon on his plate and therefor better help him have an abundance mentality.

i am actually one of the rare drama free chicks that are cool, don’t whore around and treat dudes the way i’d like them to treat me. ex of me being goody goody: never had a 1 night stand or have been with smbdy im not in love with, no joke..super rare nowdays. just saying cause i wouldnt consider myself ‘the other side.’ i know guys play game cause chicks are emotional wrecks and often deserve what they get. but hell, i miss the honesty in relationships. so i guess i wont play the game on this guy, f him. But now im thinking after reseraching pua sites that should i play games on all other guys. or should i stay my cool self. see, this game sh** corrupts even the good ones out there. that’s what sucks.

You are not drama-free. You’re already strategizing. Drama free is a man and a woman digging each other, banging, and staying together, not thinking about “what to do” consciously.

If you want a man let him take you: give him great sex. If he doesn’t want to be with you consistently after this, there’s something missing. Maybe you’re not hot enough, or smart enough, or nice enough, or perfectly his style. If he really likes you, he’ll keep you after he bangs you.

It sounds like it’s not a match. Move on to someone else you like and who’ll keep you.

No, your heart knows it’s right, your brain is what’s fucking with you. You’re either looking for attention or your ego is hurt and you’re trying to repair it by getting him to like you. And you’re trying to use your brain to solve the problem.

You didn’t want to fuck him when you started dating. Healthy relationships are consummated by sex early on and mutual respect and caring afterwards. Drama-tainted relationships are consummated by long periods of posturing. The result is animosity.

Go find a man you want to give your pussy to on the first or second date. You’ll be much happier if he takes it and he keeps you than with this guy. There are other 3 billion males on the planet.

“Go find a man you want to give your pussy to on the first or second date. You’ll be much happier if he takes it and he keeps you than with this guy.”

No man is going to keep her if she gives her pussy to him after the first or second date. He’ll just use her and discard her soon after, leaving her a wreck; a used piece of rag. Why are you steering her wrong?

But she should definitely move on and forget him. Let him live his life in peace, and stop pining away for him. He sure isn’t pining away for her. He has other girls he is seeing, he doesn’t give her much thought. She needs to move on. Start fresh with someone new, and play her cards right this time. Spending 3 years obsessing over a guy she isn’t dating is just madness. It’s not healthy.

“You didn’t want to fuck him when you started dating.”

Did she say that? I don’t think so.

“Healthy relationships are consummated by sex early on and mutual respect and caring afterwards.”

Rarely mutual respect and caring ensues after consummating sex early. This is good for the PUA, not regular girls and guys looking to get together and have a LTR, let alone marriage. She should take her time.

Please don’t lump men into a single unit. No real man with options sticks around for more than two dates. An insecure PUA child who is just looking to score and tell his friends will leave. Thos guys are beta. A real mean doesn’t give a fuck about convention, and will keep a girl who is bright, beautiful and has a great personality. If you can’t separate the little boys trying to prove themselves from the real men who turn away pussy, that’s you’re problem. Making people wait for sex is conniving. It’s 2013. That’s how the game works. Relationships spring from sex. So yes, by all means, go fuck a real man who you can keep. Don’t fuck the beta boys.

Here in Taiwan, three to six dates before sex is pretty normal. I’m actually a little leery of women that want sex on first dates. I live less than a hundred yards from my favorite bar and have had women follow me home. To me, that’s creepy. Coffee or gym dates are okay too. Second coffee date is at my place, though.

@nightlilly…”No man is going to keep her if she gives her pussy to him after the first or second date”…this is a myth.

The time a woman waits to give up the goods is inconsequential.

If a woman is a winner, a man will keep her if she sleeps with him on the first date.

If a woman is a loser, she’s going to get rejected after sex whether it happens on the first date or the sixth date. She can’t make herself a winner by forestalling the amount of time she has sex with a man.

What trips people up is that loser girls are more likely to sleep with a guy early, and winner girls most likely to make a guy wait. That makes girls mistakenly think think “I can wait myself into making him want my pussy more.” Women (and men) are assigning causation where there really isn’t any.

If anything, making a man wait for sex works *against* women because it builds resentment. It’s not the timing women need to work on and perfect – it’s the body and personality.

@LeapFrog
Beta or alpha, men are men and they lose respect for a woman when she drops her panties too soon for them, not to mention it ruins all the mystery and mystique of a woman when she divulges all her “secrets” too fast.

Therefore, if a guy won’t stick around, it’s not because he’s worried about being manipulated. That’s just a bullshit explanation some wannabe alphas have been devising to justify their taking off after one date. It’s because he has other options that will have sex with him without much delay, which means all he wanted to begin with was sex (not a relationship) and it’s better if he leaves.

“If anything, making a man wait for sex works *against* women because it builds resentment.”

LOL! Good, he can build resentment away from her. As long as she never sees him again when he is building his resentment because she didn’t want to sleep with him after one or two dates, who the fuck cares? Goodbye and good riddance.

I doubt this is true. Men love interesting women. Vivacious, flirtatious, knowledgeable, can keep a conversation on target, even likes a lively banter and she doesn’t get offended.

Can you imagine a pretty girl with the personality of a doorknob? She won’t be keeping him coming back for more once her pussy gets too familiar.

Therefore, I think men like pretty girls that are also fun to be with and girls that make them feel good. When a woman is interesting and she is using her personality in a positive manner, she make a man feel good about being with her.

That said, if a guy is a bore and never wants to do anything other than fuck, watch the game, or hangout with his buddies, then he becomes a boring beta. He won’t keep her around for long before the pussy starts yearning for someone else eventually. Women need sexual attention and to be gamed, and they also need a man they can look up to, adore, and respect. Those kinds of men a woman never leaves.

he dumped me because I was too needy. I started out as a very independent girl, lots of guys around me, good s*t going on in my life to a girl whos sole purpose was to make sure he is happy. He was basically the center of my world. I loved him unconditionally.

So what game do you play with Alpha males? Or maybe there isn’t a game to play, maybe all I need is not to forget that I should always come first to myself. Huge mistake on my part. Huge.

Just re-center yourself. Get back to that happy, carefree state you were in before. You may draw him back, but, more likely, you’ll draw someone new in. You’ll need to decrease contact with him for a while before you even start to notice other men. This time try to remember to relax (as if that were easy :)) Let him go. You truly will meet a better match for you if you keep working to improve yourself. For fun, set up a ghost online dating account and just see what’s out there. You may realize there’s someone else you’re interested in knowing.

dont be all butthurt, come on.🙂 you cant expect every single guy to love you until the end. does it feel horrible to get dumped? well, lucky you, you’re a girl. getting dumped is basically a guy’s EVERYDAY LIFE, ok? take a couple steps back, and start to move on for good.

The strongest orgasm that a woman can ever be given is during the “falling off the bed while nailing it” fuck.
For her, there is the fall, accompanied by the fear of falling. Maybe her head will bounce a little off the wooden floor, so there will be some directly inflicted confusion and loss of inhibition in the forebrain.
If you are doing your job correctly at that moment, she will be feeing her cervix being rammed up close to her thyroid gland.
There will be some pain, of course. But getting rid of her afterwards will require violence and a series of address changes… even if you are lucky.

Seriously though, I’ve heard conflicting opinions from women on this sort of insanely rough sex. Most seem to agree that pounding away so hard that you smash into her pelvis and hit her cervix is not really all that pleasurable.

If you check out the “Female Choice” porn vids that have been hitting the net lately, the sex is very slowboat and tender. Don’t get me wrong, given the opportunity I would go absolutely animal on a bitch.

realize this might be too late to get a good response. Hope an experienced player reads this.

I was in a LDR

[Heartiste: long distance relationship?]

with a girl who I really felt good about (in my gut) – but I went kinda beta, we had a lot of arguments often to do with some negative comments I made about stuff – she ended up saying we needed a break beacuse she didnt want us to ruin the relationship further before she got home.

[When a woman says “we need a break”, she has already mentally dumped you, and your remaining time with her is just a formality until she finds herself making out with a guy in a bar.]

She had already said she loved me at this point, but of late her language was not as affectionate.

[Go with your gut. It’s rarely wrong.]

I suspected something was up, I hacked her accounts and discovered inappropriate flirting with an old flame (whom she never banged). Stuff like “when I’ve got my MC license we can go cross-country across the US” (which was my idea with her) as well as a naked sushi date (a half joke). It wasn’t the worst flirting I’ve seen, but pretty bad and I knew I had to do something.

[She’s cheating on you in spirit, if not in physical fact. You should respond to both the same way.]

So I stopped responding to her. Then I went out and fucked a hot Serb girl.

[Well played!]

Three weeks later she was home and wanted to see me, but was worried it was over since I had made it clear early in the relationship I didnt believe in breaks. She asked and I admitted to fucking another girl. She was heartbroken and left in tears. I told her Id never forget her, and made no mention of my knowledge of her transgression.

[I’m going to guess this flips the script.]

A week later I finally got her to meet me, she was difficult, so I kissed on the cheek and bade her farewell, wishing her well. Ten minutes later she came chasing after me.

Now she’s on the fence about me, and has told me she doesn’t trust me anymore. She has made me promise not to see others.

[When a woman says she “doesn’t trust you”, it doesn’t mean she’s on the fence about her love for you. It means she loves you but needs to know her love won’t be wasted. A little beta vulnerability game here would suffice to assure her. Sometimes, though, a woman saying this is just covering for her cheater’s guilt by rationalizing her loss of attraction for you. Her tone of voice when she says stuff like this matters in determining which emotion is motivating her.]

The problem is, I am trustworthy, but I made some beta mistakes, I admit. Her problem is I cant trust her.

[In the case of cheating whores, past performance *is* indicative of future results. Maintaining an alpha frame and keeping her in a state of extended infatuation will mitigate her urge to cheat, but it won’t ever go away completely. I suggest you start searching for fresh meat.]

What can I do further?

[If you really want to stay with this girl, you’ll have to keep a wary eye on her activities and mood swings. That can get tiresome after the first few months of gloriously novel sex wears off.]

Right now I’m thinking of rehacking the accouts, verifying whether anything happened (how much did she really care), and the next time she blames me, bring up her inappropriate flirting and tell her this is all her choice. She wants it this way. If she doesn’t like, she can act differently.

[You already have evidence that she fools around online with other men, and acts in a way inconsistent with how a decent woman of character would act in an LTR she valued. At this juncture, I don’t see a need to belabor the point by amping your investigative efforts. Just know what kind of woman you are dealing with, and make contingencies to handle that.]

I also intend to continue fucking others.

I feel like I did a good counter-move here, but I’m at a loss for how to navigate the shoals ahead. I’m basically pretty certain she’s quite devoted, and that if I hadn’t been a beta she’d remain so. But I want her to understand what lesson she needs to learn, and that I’ve learnt my lesson.

Thanks for the help!

[If it’s your sexy alpha side she needed more of, and your beta side she needed less of, then adjusting your behavior should give you the answer that you seek: namely, whether she will be the kind of woman you can safely commit to, and that her aloofness wasn’t caused by your beta clinginess. I don’t think she knows that she has a lesson to learn, because you never confronted her about her online whoreishness? Anyhow, let us know how it turns out.]

Shit like this makes me wonder how women can sleep at night. In my personal opinion I don’t think it’s worth it; if anything she’s lost some respect, evidenced by her reaching out to other guys – and i’m not even saying there’s no coming back from that, but the effort it would take to deal with a girl like that is a lot higher than it would be to find a new one

I think she’s too immature for wife material. Give the hot Serb chick a call. If you don’t think you could trust your woman to take care of your back in a firefight she’s not worth marrying or commiting too.

I’m going to confront her and her hypocrisy next time I see her (Saturday). She’s vulnerable right now, being a lot nicer and more affectionate, and worried something’s up with me. I’ve told her we have something important to talk about, but not what.

I will try to figure out what else has gone on since I changed her passwords to stop myself keep checking her. When I have all my information, I will know whether to give her a last chance or no, whether she’s basically been true or is a scheming harlot.

Right now I’m thinking of rehacking the accouts, verifying whether anything happened (how much did she really care), and the next time she blames me, bring up her inappropriate flirting and tell her this is all her choice. She wants it this way. If she doesn’t like, she can act differently.

Too rationalistic. “I dunno, something’s been wrong in this relationship for a while … you’re different somehow and it bugs me. I can’t figure out what it is yet.” If there’s no dread/guilt, you’re done.

Complete bullshit. Weak men play “love-chicken” with a girl. What matters is that she really feels love for you by the time you say it. If you truly a dominant male and are banging her properly and are worthy of being followed, it’s only a matter of time before she falls in love with you. Saying “I love” you at this point, will only make her more into you. It’s only a kiss of death if she doesn’t feel that way/she has dominance in your relationship. It doesn’t look like many guys in this forum are really dominant males. There’s a lot of pettiness toward women and a general lack of true game/awareness being displayed.

some girls withhold the inaugural I LOVE YOU because they are scared they won’t get an ILY in return, and don’t want to rush an aloof but potentially attainable man. I’ve broken the seal a few times when I’ve detected this to be the case, but only after more than 4 months of exclusive dating.

No no no. Disdain isn’t a shit test, it’s an emotion. Leave. Nobody deserves to be with anyone who uses disdain as a method. It means things are beyond repair so man up and leave, don’t let your ego get the better of you. Weak men get into a back and forth.

(1) Could you clarify why her desire for a five-hour marathon discussion of the relationship is a sign of lack of rapport? Wouldn’t it be a sign of interest?

{Heartiste: By “lack of rapport”, I’m referring to the feeling of distance that overcomes a woman who is not connecting with her lover in the way she would like. Lack of rapport is usually instigated by the man when there is still sexual intimacy in the relationship. Lack of rapport instigated by the woman almost always follows a lack of sexual intimacy, because women cannot remain emotionally close to a man they are no longer sexually close to.

This is what I mean by the eagerness that an emotionally deprived (and rapport-deprived) woman will join a marathon LTR discussion with a BF who has previously shown reluctance to do so.]

There two signs of “Lack of Rapport” seem somewhat contradictory:

“She perfunctorily agrees with everything you declare because she’s no longer motivated to “hash it out” or “understand each other”.”

[I should have worded this more clearly. A woman sensing a growing distance is not game to parry about trivialities with her BF, because she is getting more and more upset with each day thinking only about the health of the LTR.]

“You decide to talk about your relationship, and she eagerly extends it to a five hour marathon discussion.”

If she is no longer motivated to hash it out or have better understanding in the relationship, shy would she invest five hours in discussing the relationship?

[The point at which a woman loses any desire to “hash it out” is much further along the LTR dissolution trajectory. It occurs when she has nearly given up on the idea that the LTR will last much longer than it has. A rescue operation in the window of opportunity before the LTR has degraded too far can reignite a woman’s commitment, but she has to be somewhat invested in the idea that a workable solution is still possible.]

(2) Bigger picture: Are the signs of “Lack of Rapport” (and Lack of Rapport) good things are bad things? It sounds bad but you also wrote that lack of rapport can increase attraction.

[Signs of declining attraction are always bad, unless you’re looking for excuses to dump the girl. Signs of declining rapport are often bad, but can also be good because those signs are accompanied by a shift in LTR power away from the woman and toward the man, which he can then leverage to get more of what he wants from her, should he so desire.]

Heartiste, idk if my comments are going through, but basically in my LTR the girl had all the signs of lack of rapport. I noticed it but I was on the fence for what it meant and I took it as a loss of attraction. (No lack of attraction signs)

However we were still having sex and she was still making efforts, however she was making efforts with all of the lack of rapport signs still there.

You stated that lack of rapport can happen when:
the woman reluctantly feels a growing realization that her boyfriend, whom she nevertheless loves very much, will not be there for her over the long term, and doesn’t share her goals.

Which in my case was the fact that she knew I couldn’t be in a LDR with her because I’m not the type to be in a relationship with no sex; competitive anxiety was always high for her and she knew I’d be with other girls while she is gone. (Smart girl.)

My question is this, how do I spin this plate so we’re still fucking in the summer?(We’ll be in physical contact with each other during big holiday breaks)
I figure I need to build a bigger harem of women and this one, in theory shouldn’t be hard to keep spinning.

Since our breakup I’ve gone no contact (IMs, texting etc.)

Ideally keeping this plate spinning should have minimal investment on my part.

Whats the game plan?

(If this doesn’t go through I’ll assume you’ve seen the other comments)

If I understood the issue correctly this atheist femicunt (maybe a 4 or so. She’s thin at least, and doesn’t appear manjawed…I’ve also been blind before, so take that shit with a grain of salt) was hit on in an elevator. Apparently the guy was polite and simply invited her back to his hotel room for coffee. She said no, and that was the end of it. And she took exception to what just happened, telling all men not to do that (think the bitch has had the clit taken to the choppers, but I don’t care enough to research that little button bit).

Ah, you entitled feminist fucktwat. He was the wrong kind of guy wasn’t he? Omegafem, sucks down the programming you were preaching at your convention like a typical ameriskank sucks down shit laced cum after taking up the ass, and was probably awkwardly stuttering out those prerehearsed lines in an insanely unconfident ‘gina drying manner.

Guzzling ass fucked gangbang, I should say.

Somehow or another, from what I’ve gathered, all this has resulted in well…this:

Holy fucking Orwell New Jive, Batman! I can’t really tell if this elevator omegabacle was already going or if this incident somehow started this or just got it married to it somehow, I don’t know, and again, I’m not wasting too much of my life timelining this recent foray into the destruction of western civilization. Trying to marry atheism with progressive-into-slavery standard operating procedure. I mean, I’ve seen some people take atheism as their religion, but I think this may be the first ‘codified’ dogma on it.

Oh wait, no, I’m wrong…I just described Marxism. I should go post the 45 tenants of Communism along with the 10 planks for good measure on one of their message boards. Haven’t done a decent troll in awhile, that should prove somewhat entertaining in this our declining years.