Tuesday, 3 January 2017

The Justin Trudeau Drinking Game.

The PMO released a pre-recorded, canned New Year’s address
from JustinSandiego as if anyone in the nation gave a shit. I didn’t listen to it and I doubt very few
people did either however I’m sure it was chock-full of Justin’s characteristic
jargon that can turn any Trudeau speech into a drinking game. Which reminds me, are you a consummate
alcoholic? Do you consider yourself a
political junky as well? Or do you just
like to get drunk and find drinking games the most fun way to do it? Well, if you can stand the sight and sound of
Canada’s dorky Prime Minister for more than five seconds then I have a drinking
game for you.

It’s apparent our idiot of a PM can’t give a speech or
interview without dropping one of the many progressive buzzwords that has come
to define his fabricated political brand of the nu-male image. I doubt he can order a Big Mac at McDonald’s
without mentioning how the depletion of the Amazon rain forest contributes to
climate change. Only to then down that high
caloric, high fat sandwich like the hypocrite all narcissists are.
Maybe he eats two because he cashed in one of those “buy one, get one”
coupons from those McDonald’s booklets we find littering our
mailboxes every month or so. Or maybe he
doesn’t because he doesn’t want to hurt that middle-aged dad-bod physique of his that makes him “sexy” for some reason. Eh, whatever.

So stream a Justin Trudeau talk or interview wherever you can find one and if he mentions “climate change” you take a drink. If he mentions “global warming” you take a
drink. If he says “equality” you take a
drink but if he mentions it along with “gender” or “racial” or “religious” you
take two drinks. If he mentions
“feminism” or “feminist” or anything eliciting gyno-centric favouritism you
take a drink. If he mentions “diversity”,
“tolerance”, “acceptance”, “multiculturalism”, “inclusion” or “inclusiveness”
you take a drink. If he says “diversity
is our strength” or variations of that sentence you take two drinks. If he mentions “middle class” you take a
drink. And every time he says “Canada”
you take a drink because when he’s talking about Canada he’s really taking
about himself.

Nightmare mode: If
you find yourself still sober or not drunk enough and you’re determined to go
full-tilt inebriated then take a drink every time he punctuates his speech with
his characteristic “uhs” and “ahs.” You
know what I’m talking about don't you?
Those faggy inhales he does when he finishes a sentence or starts a
sentence or does in the middle of sentence that, if you’re like me, drives you
up the f**king wall? Yeah, that thing! Go on and take a drink every time he does that but
I must caution you you’re courting alcohol poising if you do. Have some charcoal on hand just in case.

I’m not a drinker myself but I’m tempted to take it up. I don’t see how I’m going to last then next
three years sober. 2016 was a tough one.