Today: Step away from the dune.

Erosion is no laughing matter, people. As I read on the front page of this Sunday’s Boston Globe, one of my favorite beaches is closed for the next two weeks as the stairs (which are insane, and totally unsafe when crowded by tourists and their umbrellas and inflatable alligators) are rebuilt. Marconi and the rest of the Cape’s National Seashore, which includes Nauset and Coast Guard, have been hit by some major erosion due to this winter’s storms. Welp, storms… and years of dune-climbing by misbehaved children and misinformed adults.

Workers installed a section of a new staircase being built at Marconi Beach in Wellfleet. (Photo by John Tlumacki/Globe Staff)

It seems like every summer we watch at least one person shamefully being escorted from the beach by Park Rangers after attempting to or succeeding in sliding down the giant dunes at Marconi. The worst are the people who randomly appear atop the dunes, several hundred yards from the proper beach entrance, throw their beach chairs and coolers down before them and start to slide… only to be lodged halfway between top and beachdom. Where the heck are these people coming from? I will personally fork over the $40 for a season’s parking pass if that’s what will prevent you from ruining the Earth.

Side bar: I’m no scientist, but if I had to guess, I am pretty sure the erosion process speeds up if you’re wearing a Yankees hat on the Cape.

It’s all fun and games until the stairs collapse and the fragile ecosystem hangs in peril and not-so-suddenly our beloved beach is closed. Dingbats.

Source: www.best-of-cape-cod.com

We may not be able to control Mother Nature and her stormy winters, but we can control our behavior and that of our dependents. So please, people, step away from the dune. And, if you’re venturing to Marconi this summer and want to avoid looking like a rookie, leave your aforementioned umbrella and alligator at home. All you need is sunscreen and a boogie board to catch the wave of your life. Or whatever.

If you’re less curious about naughty dune sliders, and wonder about nature, please read on. Otherwise, thank you for your attention. I’ll let you off with a warning. This time.