Formerly Yours: Robin Ventura's five years helming the White Sox is due to end in a matter of days.

Let's first establish that undoubtedly, White Sox manager Robin Ventura will be fired or reassigned within the organization at some time this month.

After a surprising rookie season in 2012 that found him entrenching the team in first place for five months, Ventura's managerial career from his first September forward has been borderline-Bevington disastrous. Specifically, Ventura's handsy treatment of the bullpen helped torpedo his smooth-groove, first-place club in 2012. And in sum over five seasons, Ventura proved completely devoid of innovation or personality (meant not as a personal criticism but a comment on his utter lack of distinguishing characteristics as a manager/strategist, beyond being a "nice guy").

Ventura for all his deserved accolades as a White Sox Hall of Fame player, is a guy who was very lucky to get three years in the big chair, much less five. But given how Ventura was hired, no decision by the front office regarding his job status truly would surprise.

Five years ago, the White Sox dealt fans an ultimate "October surprise." Rather than even interview ready-to-wear managerial candidates like Dave Martinez or Sandy Alomar, Jr., GM Ken Williams hired Ventura resumé unseen—if not sight unseen. Ventura had spent all of a half-season in the White Sox organization as a roaming coach working out of his home base in southern California. Astoundingly, he had to be convinced to take the job—a job that Martinez would have shaken off his ZZ Top beard for.

Speculation abounds that the White Sox may have a new October surprise in store for fans, and it is coming with a couple of weeks leave in the regular season for a curveball of a reason: Campbell Soup Kid A.J. Pierzynski's imminent decision to retire from baseball/prank Atlanta Braves media/belatedly celebrate Julio Teheran's spawn/pander for attention. As a feistmeister on the level of ex-jefe Ozzie Guillen, it seems natural to speculate sliding Pierzynski into the big chair as Ventura's replacement, at least among the meatheads.

Though an avowed vegetarian, count me among the meatheads. But, wait, a qualifier.

If the White Sox opt again, as they did with Ventura, to choose someone with zero managerial experience, I'm in. Fans will get gaper's block whiplash with all the issues Manager A.J. the Skip will engender, and the front office will be told, with finality, to never again hire a manager who has never before been a manager.

In A.J.'s defense, he could be a kickass manager, if a bit Scrap Ironish for my taste. During his tenure on the South Side, for better or worse A.J. was always one to speak his mind, and though he would deny it, A.J. embodies The Fan on the field and in the dugout.

During the A.J. era, Paul Konerko was a curious choice as team captain under Ozzie (like Ventura fighting off the out-of-blue offer to be White Sox manager, PK did not want to be captain, wouldn't wear a "C," and offered little in the way of captaincy beyond meandering postgame quotes that took the heat off teammates due to beat writer narcolepsy, and perhaps powdering PK Mini-Me Gordon Beckham's hiney at regular intervals), especially when it seemed A.J. would be a natural fit in the role.

A.J. took the fight to opponents. He was mouthy. He was famously characterized by Ozzie as a guy who "opponents hate, and teammates hate a little bit less." Guillen never hesitated to call his team (or, undoubtedly seeing a touch of Oswaldo in his catcher, A.J. specifically) out. And A.J. more than once rolled his eyes in the clubhouse after getting the deets on a latest Ozzie rant to ask us on the beat, seriously, don't you guys get tired of listening to that guy spout off?

Counterintuitive or no, that's a guy I want bleeding for my team, and encouraging teammates to as well.

But, OK, that's all dropped third strikes under the bridge, because A.J. will not be the next White Sox manager.

Who will be? A hothead on the A.J. level—if you subscribe to the chill-feisty-chill-feisty pattern the White Sox seem to have established during Jerry Reinsdorf's ownership.

A more intriguing question is whether or not the White Sox actually will conduct an interview process this time around, rather than treating the most important hire in the organization with speed-dating attention to detail.

The guess here is yes, but my next post will reveal that the snap hire of Ventura isn't the only rash skipper snatch-and-grab made in the Reinsdorf Era.

About Poetry in Pros

Brett most recently logged a couple of beats at CSNChicago, first following the Blackhawks and covering their first Stanley Cup win in 49 years, then shifting to the South Side and the White Sox.

His sportswriting career began right before the turn of the century, first as an editor for Basketball News and later editing Basketball Digest and Bowling Digest. He has written for Baseball Digest and MLB Trade Rumors, as well as the Chicago White Sox and MLB World Series programs, as well as Slam, Hoop, Inside Stuff, Courtside, Rinkside, and numerous NBA game programs. He has been featured in ESPN the Magazine, the Chicago Sun-Times, the Baltimore Sun and Crain's Chicago Business, and on Comcast Sports Net, NBA-TV, NHL.com, MLB.com, WLS-TV, WGN-TV and the BBC. He's also written features for the NBA Finals and NBA All-Star Game programs.

Brett is the author of the essential baseball reference work 'The Wit and Wisdom of Ozzie Guillen.' When Ozzie first saw the book, on Opening Night 2006, he cracked wise to those in his manager's office, asking, "What's wisdom?" To which owner Jerry Reinsdorf replied, "Don't worry, Ozzie. You don't have any."

A lifelong Chicago sports fan, the first game Brett attended was on Dec. 4, 1976, watching the Bulls snap a (still) franchise-record 13-game losing streak and setting in motion the playoff run that would come to be defined as the Miracle on Madison. At Brett's first White Sox game on June 4, 1977, Richie Zisk of the South Side Hit Men homered over the roof at Comiskey Park at a time when the feat was as rare as a no-hitter. Brett's first Chicago Bears game was on Oct. 7, 1984, when Walter Payton broke the all-time NFL career rushing mark.

More than anything, however, Brett is a baseball and a White Sox fan, having seen hundreds of games over his lifetime, including a walk-off grand slam by Carlos Lee to defeat the Cubbies, the infamous Michael Barrett sucker-punch on A.J. Pierzynski, a then-season record home run by Oscar Gamble in 1977, Bobby Thigpen's 50th season save in 1990, and the classic Blackout tiebreaker win over the Twins in 2008. There have been many pilgrimages to see the team, including a September 1990 drive up from Texas to see a final series at Comiskey Park, an April 1991 flight to watch the otherwise-unmentionable first game at the then-New Comiskey Park, outrunning a snowstorm to see the White Sox be whitewashed in a late September game at Kauffman Stadium, and a jaunt down to the Hovering Sombrero in 2005 to catch the club take on the Tampa Bay Rays.

His highlight as a fan is, of course, witnessing the entire home run of 2005 White Sox playoff victories, including the two extraordinary wins over the Houston Astros at USCF that spurred a World Series sweep. More recently, he took in Mark Buehrle's perfect game in 2009, during which Brett made the boldest prediction imaginable—not of an eventual perfect game, but a Josh Fields grand slam! Brett has watched games in every major league city.

Brett graduated from Texas Christian University with a Journalism and English degree and came thisclose to finishing his English master's at Kansas State University while teaching composition to disinterested agribusiness majors. He's won a number of writing awards in areas as varied as poetry, fiction, features, news reporting and opinion writing. Brett lives in Florida with his incomparable wife, Angelique.

Poetry in Pros Trivia

Now that you know a little bit about Poetry in Pros writer Brett Ballantini, see how you score below. True or false, Brett:

Believes that the ABA saved professional basketball.

Borrowed the title of the first draft of his master's thesis from a Camper Van Beethoven song.

Co-founded and played in a band called Ethnocentric Republicans, who once shared a bill with 15-minutes-of-fame grunge rockers The Toadies.

Considers nachos piled high with jalapenos as his go-to concession food.

Gave a Crunch bar to then-Nestle spokesman Shaquille O'Neal before their first interview together in Milwaukee. Later saw an empty Crunch bar wrapper in Shaq's locker.

Gave three photographs from his personal collection to the Chicago Bulls for their "walk of fame" leading to the locker room at the United Center.

Had four front teeth.

Has appeared in one movie, in which he was murdered when Albert Einstein slammed his head in a door.

Has appeared on the cover of a magazine with a circulation of 100,000. As Santa Claus. Bowling.

Has attended just three games in Wrigley Field as a fan. One was to see the Chicago Sting.

Has been a vegetarian for 30 years.

Has been doused by Bill Veeck's outfield shower in two different decades, in two different White Sox parks.

Hasn't cried over a game since Tito Landrum crushed that homer off of Britt Burns in October 1983.

Has worked for at least seven publications that are no longer in business.

Kissed the Minnie Minoso statue in the outfield concourse at Sox Park on the cheek as a good-luck gesture before Game 1 of the 2005 World Series.

Caught a foul ball while covering a preseason game from the roof of Tempe Diablo Stadium. On his birthday.

To Wit:

"When I build a fire under a person, I do not do it merely because of the enjoyment I get out of seeing him fry, but because he is worth the trouble. It is then a compliment, a distinction; let him give thanks and keep quiet. I do not fry the small, the commonplace, the unworthy."