10/06/2011

Alan Rickman is starring in the Coen Brothers' remake of the 60s film Gambit, starring alongside Cameron Diaz. It will involve a scene with him naked in a glass box.

Hey, if I want to see a cock behind glass I'll go and try to get good service in the Post Office.

But I'm actually looking forward to seeing Rickman in the nude; it will finally test what people say about men with big noses. If it's true what they say, seeing Alan naked will be like seeing a man try to shop-lift a pink draught excluder.

And this is where his genius shows through. Most male actors worry about the cold during a nude scene leading to some embarrassing shrinkage. Rickman gets naked in what is effectively a greenhouse.

The glass box is currently being constructed in a top secret location. Why the secrecy? I think it's because he's paying to have magnifying glass built in to aid the natural look.

So he has the warmth, the refracting lens and the big nose affect all helping him look larger down there. And if that isn't enough... Cameron Diaz will be in the room. He'll he fine.

A lot of people have been asking for the source of this story. Sure thing, I read it on the Evening Standard. Read it here.