But the signs are all there. Signs of series mental illness in more than one of my children. One, who previously wasn't a source of much worry, is displaying early bipolar signs.

It's hard not to feel terror when I assess the situation and see the tell-tale signs.

That's one side of my life circumstances.

The other is this: my children delight me with their love, their sibling relationships, their unique intelligences, their sweetness, their evangelistic efforts with more and more neighbor children.

I see their gifts, their huge hearts, their worship of the Savior, and I'm overjoyed.

Life is like that...like a teeter-totter. On the one hand is immense joy, and on the other hand, intense sorrow.

When I'm at my best spiritually I know the Lord's holding it all in balance; there isn't a single detail he's going to forget about, or fail to cover for in his ultimate plan.

I don't have a crystal ball to see the adult outcome for my affected children, whether it's missionary work, a lucrative self-employment, a professorship, or even a subsidized apartment on disability. Success or failure, I can't predict. The statistics don't help me, because the mentally ill can get by fine, or they can falter, crash and burn.

I have no control at all. We're stubborn and sorely mistaken when we insist we yet wield some control over the future.

So much happens to the adolescent brain and my little girls may not escape something mental themselves. Mental illness can get worse or first appear around that time, and usually persists for a lifetime, at great cost to loved ones and to the sufferers.

I've learned to do the only thing I can do--I spend an inordinate amount of time pointing my children to Jesus, the Healer.

Maybe you don't have these concerns with your own children. Maybe everything about their futures looks promising.

Still, you don't have any control either. I highly recommend spending an inordinate amount of time pointing them to the Savior.

It's the onething you'll never regret.

Or the one thing you'll wish you'd done.

If it's the former in your case, your child's life will reflect His glory. His glory with eclipse any pain, suffering, or sadness. And let me tell you...these aren't just some soothing words on a screen. They're my reality.

He. is. faithful. Hallelujah.

Hebrews 1:3 He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power. After making purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high...

1 comment:

I know where you're coming from! It is hard to not worry. One thing I've come to realise, though, is that you can love God and serve God wherever you are. You don't have to be a missionary or a preacher to be a success. If your life is a life of illness and not being able to earn a living then so be it (which is not to say you shouldn't try if at all you can, of course). We're called to make the best of what we have and to love in all situations. In reality, being 'called' while ill is harder probably than many other situations, because the illness keeps us weak, but God can do wonderful things through weakness.

Having said all that, I do worry about my boy, in particular. He is also showing signs of mental ill health. We're waiting for an appointment to see the psychiatrist. He's such a lovely boy, but it's almost as if he was made for life on a different planet. Life is so hard for him (and us - he's not easy to live with!). But prayer and trust are the currency of God so that's all we can do.

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About Me

Welcome. I pray that something here blesses you.
I'm a Christian, saved by grace at age 31, and a former first-grade teacher, now married with children and joyfully homeschooling my four blessings, ages 8, 10, 13, and 15.
I love to write about faith, gratitude, spiritual growth, biblical justice, and homeschooling. The Lord doesn't give up on me and this is my place to record His whisperings.
Bless you today and thank you again for visiting!
Contact info: christine4431(at)ymail(dot)com