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Your Mom Jokes

Author

Message

ConnorModzzJtagFounder

Posts : 41Reputation : 6Join date : 2010-08-14

Subject: Your Mom Jokes Sun Aug 15, 2010 2:36 am

* Your mom is so fat, she lacks a nutritious diet and doesn't get enough exercise * Your mom is so fat, when she sat on memory foam, it forgot. * Your mom is so fat, she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in. * Your mom is so fat, when she goes to the beach, people yell out, "Whale Sighting!" * Your mom is so fat, she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy. * Your mom is so fat, she influences the tides. * Your mom is so fat, whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in. * Your mom is so fat, she has her own zip code. * Your mom is so fat, she lives in two time zones. * Your mom is so fat, it takes a train to get on her good side. * Your mom is so fat, that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas. * Your mom is so fat, people jog around her for exercise. * Your mom is so fat, whenever she turns around they throw a welcome-back party. * Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around its her birthday. * Your mom is so fat, she jumps up in the air and gets stuck. * Your mom is so fat, when she jumps she ends up in Australia. * Your mom is so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion. * Your mom is so fat, she plays hopscotch like this: California, Nevada, Arizona… * Your mom is so fat, when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th. * Your mom is so fat, when she dances the band skips. * Your mom is so fat, she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals. * Your mom is so fat, every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil. * Your mom is so fat, she stepped on a dollar and got change. * Your mom is so fat, when she steps on a scale it reads, "One at a time, please." * Your mom is so fat, when she steps on a scale it reads, "To be continued." * Your mom is so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to get ***** off. * Your mom is so fat, she thought gravy was a beverage. * Your mom is so fat, I took her to dinner and the waitress took her order in shorthand * Your mom is so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate. * Your mom is so fat, she went to the salad bar and pulled up a chair. * Your mom is so fat, when the ***** goes to an all you can eat buffet they have to install speed bumps. * Your mom is so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says, "Okay!" * Your mom is so fat, she broke her leg and gravy poured out. * Your mom is so fat, her blood type is Ragu. * Your mom is so fat, the only wiener she'll ever get is a hot dog. * Your mom is so fat, her first love was Krispy Kreme. * Your mom is so fat, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a tooth pick. * Your mom is so fat, she has to use a satellite dish as a Cereal bowl. * Your mom is so fat, she thinks that Niagara Falls is a drinking fountain. * Your mom is so fat, McDonald's set up shop in her house. * Your mom is so fat, her best friends are Ronald McDonald, Burger King and Betty Crocker. * Your mom is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people call out to her, "Taxi!" * Your mom is so fat, when she wears a yellow coat she looks like a school bus. * Your mom is so fat, she has an sign on her back that says "wide load". * Your mom is so fat, when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?" * Your mom is so fat, she sets off car alarms when she runs. * Your mom is so fat, when her beeper goes off people think she’s backing up. * Your mom is so fat, she bungee jumps and falls straight to Hell. * Your mom is so fat, when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too. * Your mom is so fat, when she walks into a bar the ceiling fan falls down. * Your mom is so fat, they use her underwear elastic for bungee jumping. * Your mom is so fat, when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground. * Your mom is so fat, even the AIDS quilt wouldn't cover her. * Your mom is so fat, she has a run in her blue-jeans. * Your mom is so fat, she uses hula hoops to hold up her socks. * Your mom is so fat, when she took her dress to the cleaner they said, "Sorry, but we don't do curtains." * Your mom is so fat, she's got to iron her pants on the driveway. * Your mom is so fat, she has to wear Levi’s 1002s. * Your mom is so fat, when she wears white, she looks like the Michelin man. * Your mom is so fat, when she wears red, she looks like the Kool-Aid man. * Your mom is so fat, when she wears an "X" helicopters land on her. * Your mom is so fat, she's got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets. * Your mom is so fat, she can't reach her back pocket. * Your mom is so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller. * Your mom is so fat, she needs a boomerang to put her belt on. * Your mom is so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the New World. * Your mom is so fat, we get a drought every time she takes a shower. * Your mom is so fat, she had to go to Sea World to get baptized. * Your mom is so fat, she uses the Freeway as a Slip ’n’ Slide. * Your mom is so fat, she’s still waiting for someone to fill the Grand Canyon so she can take a bath. * Your mom is so fat, they have to grease the bath tub to get her out. * Your mom is so fat, you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through * Your mom is so fat, she went to Disneyland and got group discounts. * Your mom is so fat, Santa asked her to cover for him. * Your mom is so fat, when she sits around the house, she literally sits AROUND the house. * Your mom is so fat, every time she walks her butt claps. * Your mom is so fat, she's on both sides of the family. * Your mom is so fat, when she falls out of bed she falls on both sides. * Your mom is so fat, her will states that she wants to be donated to Ripley's Believe It or Not. * Your mom is so fat, you need a Thomas Guide to find her *****. * Your mom is so fat, when she walked past the television, I missed Scary Movie 1, 2 AND 3. * Your mom is so fat, she got stuck in the garage. * Your mom is so fat, when she was a kid she could only play seek. * Your mom is so fat, it took five UFOs to abduct her. * Your mom is so fat, we're in her right now. * Your mom is so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone. * Your mom is so fat, when you get on top of her your ears pop. * Your mom is so fat, when she has sex she has to give directions. * Your mom is so fat, she wakes up in sections. * Your mom is so fat, when she goes to an amusement park people try to ride HER. * Your mom is so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book. * Your mom is so fat, that her senior pictures had to be arial views. * Your mom is so fat, she has to buy two airline tickets. * Your mom is so fat, when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again. * Your mom is so fat, the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures. * Your mom is so fat, they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it. * Your mom is so fat, that when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks. * Your mom is so fat, the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts. * Your mom is so fat, she was Miss Arizona...class Battleship. * Your mom is so fat, she was zoned for commercial development. * Your mom is so fat, her nickname is "DAAAMN!" * Your mom is so fat, she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors. * Your mom is so fat, she fell in love and broke it. * Your mom is so fat, when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo. * Your mom is so fat, she ordered a double room for a singles weekend. * Your mom is so fat, she had her ears pierced by harpoon. * Your mom is so fat, that I really don't need to make a joke, it sells it self. * Your mom is so fat, she makes Shay look like the Olsen Twins. * Your mom is so fat, that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips. * Your mom is so fat, the only armor she can use in World of Warcraft is of the whale. * Your mom is so fat, NASA is planning a mission to put a man on her. * Your mom is so fat, miners dig for diamonds in her footprints. * Your mom is so fat, she has to live on another planet. * Your mom is so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh-eating variant of Staphlococcus aureus, the doctor gave her five years to live. * Your mom is so fat, no one can talk behind her back. * Your mom is so fat, when she went to a dating service, they matched her up with Detroit. * Your mom is so fat, when she went to a concert, she had to buy 1 million tickets just to fit her ass. * Your mom is so fat, you can swim in her belly button. * Your mom is so fat, she absorbs light. * Your mom is so fat, she has to play pool with the planets. * Your mom is so fat, she sat on a rainbow and king sized skittles popped out. * Your mom is so fat, your dad didn't know which roll he was making love to. * Your mom is so fat, she thought the Olympic swimming pool was a puddle. * Your mom is so fat, every move that she makes required planning permission. * Your mom is so fat, when she showers,﻿ her feet dont get wet * Your mom is so fat, she﻿ broke a branch on her family tree