Thursday, May 23, 2013

the-5-greatest-unscripted-disasters-in-pro-wrestling

Don't know if anybody has sent you this yet. Pretty hard to argue with the list... of course some people still think Hogan/Russo was a work... and I think I'd change the order around a little, but all in all I think they hit the big ones.

Once it got to the court system, it was pretty apparently Hogan/Russo not a work. Unless Joseph Park was the lawyer.

Really good list, all the ones I would have hit on as well. Really, the Andre-Maeda story is even crazier than described, but that's some pretty hardcore wrestling nerd stuff to really get everything going on, so what was presented was great. John Cheese is easily my favorite guy on Cracked, even if he goes to the "Rich people are like this and poor people are like THIS" well way too often sometimes.

168 comments:

I can't not think Brockway is the best, if only because he seems to move freely into every type of article they have. But Cheese is pretty great. I'm torn on Seanbaby though. Sometimes he's capable of dropping some gutbusting hilarity and sometimes he seems like he's trying to wedge a joke into every syllable, plus generally he doesn't write about anything too interesting.

Nice list, but surely there were others? I was going to mention APA destroying Public Enemy and PE going on the mike and thanking them, but I guess that was scripted. Then there's Brock destroying Bob Holly...

If only the XFL was still around for Tebow. Seriously though, Tebow could take the Kurt Warner route of the AFL to increase his stock value. Or Tebow could just star in a remake of "Missing In Action."

He's such a shitty QB that the only offers from the AFL have been as a back up. Think about that, teams in the ARENA FOOTBALL LEAGUE don't want Tebow as a starting QB, because it's mostly a passing league...lol.

Depending on who you ask either JBL was pissed because Meanie had said some stuff on the internet in the run up to ONS (similar to what JBL had said about Heyman) or JBL was pissed because of what Heyman said about him in his shoot promo earlier in the night and is a bully in general and went after Meanie.

Meanie was just on Konnan's podcast. He said he was interviewed a number of times after he was released in 2000 about how his WWE experience was. He truthfully told reporters that he lived his childhood dream, was able to pay all of his dying grandmother's bills/house, and the only bad part was putting up with the bullying of Bradshaw. He claims he really looked up to JBL but JBL saw him as a weakling and decided to take it out on him (in the ring and backstage). JBL heard through people over the years that "Meanie is talking shit about you" and decided to take action on him legit at One Night Stand. Meanie said many of the boys were so upset at JBL for that, as the Dudley's had to legit pull JBL out of the ring before something bad happened to him (and WWE management was upset, fearing another JBL bullying lawsuit). WWE invited Meanie back, paid him very well, and gave him a 2 week storyline on Smackdown (and he was able to chair-shot JBL). Meanie had to be convinced by Vince and HHH that JBL would be totally professional the whole time.

I remember a wwe.com article after the JBL/bWo match with Stevie Richards (who delivered the chair shot), where he straight out says that he tried to take JBL's head off with a chair because of what JBL did to Meanie at ONS and he wouldn't be surprised if he was fired for it.

Yupp. Meanie seems like such a true fan and a nice guy. It sucks when someone like him gets bullied. I've heard that ex-referee Billy Silverman was also such a nice and quiet person but he eventually was targeted by JBL. He eventually sued and got payment for it.

From what I remember, Holly was being uncooperative so Brock picked him and dropped him on his head. After what Holly did to Matt Cappotelli (among others), I felt zero sympathy for him. You don't fuck with Brock.

Billy Silverman was also in WCW, right? IIRC, he had heat on him for upgrading his seat to 1st class, which apparently is a no-no unless you're a tippy-top guy or something (even though it came out of his own pocket).

That heel promo jbl cut at ons where he shit all over the ecw mutants/ smarks was fucking glorious. If he could have actually had good matches he would have been the best heel of all time. Even still I love evil bradshaw

Bob continues to defend his actions on Cappotelli to this day. Just read an interview with him the other day where his big defense was "If I really took liberties with him, you think I wouldn't have been released? He was just whining."

To which I thought: "No. I don't think you'd have been released for that."

JR even had a funny Holly line in a recent Q&A. A fan asked why Bob didn't appear to be working stiff in a match with Haku. JR said "Figure it out."

Not sure if sarcastic or serious, but in the event it's the latter, people who remember these things are probably only going to remember what JBL did, not how Meanie got retribution (except maybe that he was hired back for a bit).

I don't recall the win over JBL or the chair shot, and would never had remembered them had someone here not mentioned them. So in the big picture, I'd venture that people only will remember that JBL was a dick, and not that he had to answer for it.

No, it was completely unprofessional and you deal with that OFF camera. You don't go and beat the fuck out of someone in what's supposed to be a fake fight. Do you think if Cappotelli fought back, he'd a kept his job?

Holly did a shoot where he said Mc was laughing at the spots and was cracking up during pulled punches. You're begging for an ass kicking when you do that in that context. Holly even claims vkm gave him an attaboy for it

Right, if you're such a "tough" guy, then challenge him to a shoot fight AFTER the cameras go off air and show him that you can fight for real and don't disrespect the business or whatever the fuck you want to say. Be a man, don't be a coward. Guys like Holly are essentially cowards as most bullies are.

He didn't get a job anyways. And holly didn't get any heat for it. Took him stealing pills in the lockerroom to get fired. If your going to act like an asshole while getting trained you will probably get your ass kicked

@flair4dagold I'm on mobile disqus and it sucks so I gotta respond up here.

1. Its lazy to call Bob holly a coward. He wrestled for years and came back from a broken neck. 2. Is he a bully? Probably but I could care less about either guy. However spark plugg kept a job there for 15 years despite having no good matches and only being over for maybe a year (super heavyweight holly was over right?). Seeing as how he sucked and kept his job for that long vkm obviously bought into his whole "respect the business" thing and that's all that matters. I'm not a wrestler so I don't know if what holly did was out of line but Vince didn't think so and his opinion is ultimately the one that counts (unfortunately

Waltman got heat for that one time also... that's how big of a taboo it is in WWE that HHH's little buddy got in trouble for it. That is of course the most ignorant thing possible that someone who is well off enough to afford a first class seat can't do so when he chooses.

Super Heavyweight/Big Shot Hardcore Holly is one of the most hilariously awesome things going on in 1999. My favorite is when he randomly attacks some tag team from behind thats about to face Taker and the Big Show, and he yells to them that he "saved their asses".

There was a great bit on the history of ECW on 24/7 where Joey was doing the in-studio intro for the show and somehow got around to talking about JBL and made some veiled reference to JBL getting knocked out or something (not unlike Bischoff saying Bret was a "knockout kind of guy").

After he said, Joey paused and said, "If you get it, you get it. If you don't, you don't" and then went on to something else.

Honestly, I think all the Cracked authors suck. I've only read about 10-15 articles, and man, I can honestly say I've never even chuckled at a joke.

Take this last article, with the Russo/Hogan piece near the end, he says something like "Hogan heard what Russo said and was all "I'm outtie 5000, homeslice!" and that's just embarrassing. The writers for cracked are the type who laugh at their own jokes.

I also think it's pretty sad how they only allow new writers to produce their ridiculous list articles. When I was in talks to write for them, I offered up a few ideas for weekly columns and was told "you haven't earned the right to write non-list articles". What the fuck is that? Morons.

I don't know--it's a bit different with unpaid (or minimum wage) website work. If you bring the goods, many websites have no problem just going with talent over seniority. It's not like it's a publicly traded company or a company that has to look its audience in the eye, anyway.

Speaking of unscripted disasters, there was this one time when a guy was supposed to show up for a PPV, but didn't, and used the excuse that his family was very ill and he was tending to them. Here's the part where it gets crazy: He killed his family and then killed himself! And the next night, they held a tribute show in his honor! I mean, my God!! That's an insane story, right? I'm sorry I don't have a Youtube clip.

So coming back from a broken neck and risking your health for years by being one of Vince's circus monkeys working through all types of injuries makes you a coward when you beat up one guy who's your same size for 45 seconds once? Gotcha

Its so dumb especially when you consider any wrestler in a frequent flyer program would be constantly eligible for the upgrade based on how much they travel. Wouldn't Vince want his "superstars" looking like stars by flying that way anyways?

I think Brock talks about it in his book. He claimed he was either tired or sick for some reason and didn't have the strength to hold him up. I don't really see sandbagging there, Holly goes up for the powerbomb just fine. It looked like Holly was expecting a Jackknife style powerbomb and Brock was going for a Last Ride style powerbomb.

I remember reading on Deadspin that indeed ESPN gets a ton of hits online with Tebow stories. He's the John Cena of the NFL (minus the accolades), people will come to those articles to diss him or defend him. While he is indeed overexposed by the network (and I blame the network, not Tebow), I do root for him, though. I think he has got a bit of a raw deal in the big leagues, even if he's still pretty green.

Jake stuck his python between his legs and invited some fat chick to "touch it". I remember this because I watched it. For free. On the Magic Black Box. And I was thrilled to be a part of such a decapitating, maiming trainwreck.

You're referring to the Mass Transit and New Jack debacle from 1996--which actually cost ECW their ppv slot that year. It's really nasty--New Jack carves the kid up legit and then lands a chair on his face. Poor kid was gushing blood and could have died (and he was underage). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=maEx2RLu1UI

He kicked someone's ass who wasn't even attempting to fight back. He may not be a coward, but that was a cowardly act. Recovering from an injury doesn't make you brave. Chris Benoit came back from a broken neck too.

I've been looking for that for years and can't find it. Big Show literally THROWS A CAR AT HIM and he says that. Great midcard character. Even better in retrospect considering what midcard characters are now. Jobbers that Triple H randomly kicks in the nuts walking back from his segment.

The poor kid lied to get in the building, lied about how old he was, and lied about knowing how to wrestle, and then let someone else draw blood from him which never goes well and is a big no-no, and it resulted in him spilling a lot of forehead blood (which is pretty harmless in all) and then tried to be all oh poor me and sue. If it wasn't someone with a bad reputation like New Jack, no one would've cared. Fuck that guy.

I guess mine would be just being a puss. Holly's a douche bag, probably a drug addict, maybe a Bully (honesty the tough enough thing could be a quasi work) but he's not really a coward. Breaking your neck and coming back to wrestling is ballsy. Also he thought he could sand bag Brock which, again, unprofessional and dangerous but not really cowardly

True. I just thought they would have said something like "but was what they called a jobber. Some who gets paid to make the other guys look good. Although he did get a few minutes of fame in a match with wrestler Perry Saturn" and then explain it, and have Mad Dog talk about how he thought that might have been his ticket. Crazy that he ended up dead just like his dad predicted.

What in the fuck are you talking about moron? Look at it this way, if some teenager lied to get on the set of a movie and lied about having ever driven a car before, and lied about having been trained as a stuntman, and then got hurt in a stunt with a car, do you act like the stunt coordinator is a criminal for intentionally crashing him as was part of the show? No, you blame the idiot liar in over his head. It has nothing to do with him being underage, it has to do with him being a lying dipshit who carnied his way into a match he didn't belong in and then played the victim after. You need to get some fucking therapy.

Yeah and? A tag team in the midcard of their division with 2 short title runs over a very brief time period is a bigger deal than a stable leader who had a long running storyline in 2 companies with Raven and lead RTC (who did they face in their one Mania appearance? Oh yeah APA) plus all the bWo stuff not to mention all the Dr. Stevie stuff in TNA later on. Why exactly does bradshaw out qualify him in this scenario if you never count the JBL character? Typical WWE bias. And even then you'd be wrong.

New Jack did the same sloppy garbage he did in every match (remember, Jack had no formal training himself beyond being taught how to run the ropes by that guy from Zambuie Express) and the kid didn't know how to protect himself. You're never supposed to let someone else blade you, even Bret Hart fucked it up on Austin. I wouldn't trust New Jack to do it right. And as far as I know no one knew the kid was untrained and underage until he tried to sue. Jack just had a shitty Jack match, but because of his gimmick, everyone tries to act like he was really trying to hurt this kid. Get smart, he's no more a thug than you or I\

Just like Mass Transit died when New Jack cut him, right? Oh except that he didn't. Its just capillaries up there, and it doesn't funnel blood to any major organs. That's why wrestlers blade on the forehead as opposed to anywhere else. And the skin is thin, so it will clot easy. Jack just dug the dumb fuck too deep. If the argument is that neither person belonged in the ring if all they could do was slice each other up and hurt each other legit, you're probably right. But I shed no tears for someone getting hurt doing something dangerous without proper knowledge.

Lol whoops that wasn't supposed to post. I started one on my phone and bailed. But yeah I was gonna say for a mid card act APA sold lots of t shirts. He probably more money than other attitude era midcarders. I think he had earned lots of money pre jbl gimmick. I'm not saying Stevie Richards sucks. I prefer his work over all I think too. But I don't know if he made any money in ECW. I forgot about his rtc work, that was a good run in the big leagues actually. My only point was Bradshaw got paid more pre jbl than Richards ever did. I can't remember why I brought it up though

i blame people who use Tebow as some kind of conduit for their own political beliefs and religious beliefs. Tons of people who wouldn't even know a cb from a wr are Tebow "fans." I've got nothing against Tebow himself (although he is WAAAAY more vocal about his religion and politics than 99.9% of athletes), but it gets old on facebook, message boards, or comment sections of articles full of people OUTRAGED (Foxnews style) about the grand conspiracy against poor Timmy because he loves god or is a conservative. Nope. he sucks as a QB, refuses to switch positions, and thanks to those types of people and the media, brings more baggage to a backup QB/team relationship than a Kardashian.

Eric asked New Jack if he could 'get some colour' and asked New Jack to do the honours and open him up good. New Jack obliged.

Later when the kid's family sued - a case they lost because they were entirely in the wrong - the kid was still fine. He died years later from completely unrelated causes.

As for forehead blood - there must be a reason why generations of wrestlers have tended to slice themselves there rather than elsewhere on their body. 'Forehead blood' as a term sounds ridiculous, but the evidence suggests the philosophy behind it is a sound one. We have years of living testimonials to that.

Actually, by that point he had been wrestling significantly in SMW, teaming up against the likes of the Rock & Roll Express. His 'Art Of Wrestling' interview is interesting, talking about those days, what and how he learned against RIcky Morton.

I know, I had no idea and wouldn't have realised that either. I agree with you in full otherwise.