The average American man carries $3,290 in credit-card debt, worries more about gaining weight than losing his job, and -- surprise! -- leans slightly to the Left. Presenting these and other data about you.

Wrong. That was just one of many things that surprised us as we sifted through the results of Esquire's Survey of the American Man. In fact, while 78 percent of our panel of more than one thousand men said they believe in God, 64 percent either never go to their houses of worship or go only on holidays. Not as surprisingly, the Northeast leads the nation in heathenism: 34 percent said they're either atheists or agnostics.

And American men no longer seem to have an unshakable faith in the future of the American empire: 47 percent said they agree that the U.S. has peaked as a superpower.

Unfortunately, we seem to be following our government's lead when it comes to racking up debt: 25 percent of American men carry more than $5,000 in credit-card balances, and 15 percent owe more than $10,000.

There's good news for Colin Powell, though (question 1), women (question 23), and the sartorial state of the American South: Southern men own the most suits, averaging 3.1 apiece.

1. Who is the most admirable man in America?

Colin Powell - 5.9%

Bill Clinton - 5.8%

Bill Gates - 5.8%

George W. Bush - 5.3%

John McCain - 4.0%

Billy Graham - 3.8%

Jimmy Carter - 2.7%

2. Who is the least admirable man in America?

George W. Bush - 14.8%

Bill Clinton - 7.8%

Ted Kennedy - 7.7%

Dick Cheney - 4.6%

John Kerry - 2.7%

3. Whom did you vote for in the 2004 presidential election? And if the election were held again today?

George W. Bush

2004 - 49%

Today - 34%

John Kerry

2004 - 35%

Today - 23%

I did not/would not vote

2004 - 11%

Today - 11%

Other

2004 - 5%

Today - 35%

4. On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is "very conservative" and 10 is "very liberal," how would you rate your political view.

Northeast - 5.5

West - 5.2

Midwest - 4.9

South - 4.9

Average - 5.1

5. On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is "strongly disagree" and 10 is strongly agree," what's your opinion about the following statement: "America has peaked as a global power."

1, 2, or 3 - 26%

4 or 5 - 27%

6 or 7 - 22%

8,9, or 10 - 25%

Average: 5.4

6. On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is "very pessimistic" and 10 is very optimistic," how would you rate your outlook on the following issues?

The U.S. economy - 5.5

The degree to which American are protected from terrorism - 5.3

The degree to which Americans' privacy rights are protected - 4.9

The war in Iraq - 4.6

The U.S. becoming less dependent on foreign oil - 4.4

7. Which of the following best describes your level of alcohol consumption?

I don't drink, period. 26%

I'll have the occasional drink at a party. 37%

I have a few drinks a week. 27%

I have three or more drinks most days. 5%

I drink daily, but never more than a drink or two. 5%

8. Would you be in favor of mandatory public service (not necessarily military) for every U.S. citizen?

Yes: 40%

No: 48%

No opinion: 12%

9. Did you see Brokeback Mountain?

Yes, I saw it: 13%

Not yet, but I plan to: 30%

No, and I don't plan to: 57%

10. Have you read the Da Vinci Code?

Yes, I read it: 27%

Not yet, but I plan to: 33%

No, and I don't plan to: 40%

11. Which of these three words best describes your belief (or not) in God?

Believer - 78%

Atheist - 6%

Agnostic - 16%

12. How often do you go to church, synagogue, mosque or other house of worship?

Every day - 2%

At least once a week - 24%

Once a month - 10%

Only on holidays - 22%

Never - 42%

13. Have you ever cheated on your wife or significant other?

No - 75%

Yes - 25%

14. What single attribute do you value most in a mate?

Loyalty or faithfulness: 47%

Intelligence: 15%

Kindness: 14%

Sense of humor: 13%

Beauty: 3%

Wealth: 2%

Other: 6%

15. Would you rather...

Be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company - 85%

or

Be the next American Idol - 15%

Give up alcohol - 91%

or

Give up sex - 9%

Have $50,000 - 82%

or

Have a three-way with Angelina Jolie and Scarlett Johansson - 18%

Play a round of golf at Augusta National - 40%

or

Go out drinking with Jack Nicholson - 60%

Be short, boring and rich - 58%

or

Be tall, charismatic and impoverished - 42%

16. How many books have you read in the past twelve months?

Fiction

None: 34%

Twenty or more: 9%

Average: Five books

Nonfiction

None: 34%

Twenty or more: 3%

Average: Three books

17. Have you ever visited a foreign country besides Mexico or Canada?

Yes: 55%

Not yet, but I plan to: 16%

18. On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is "not worried at all" and 10 is "very worried," how concerned are you about the following issues?

Your future earning potential: 5.3

Getting fat: 5.0

Your job security: 4.4

Losing your hair: 3.5

The faithfulness of your wife or girlfriend: 2.5

19. Have you ever downloaded a podcast?

Yes - 22%

No - 66%

What's a podcast? - 12%

20. How would compare your financial security right now with your father's when he was your age?

More secure: 38%

Less secure: 35%

Just as secure: 18%

Don't know: 9%

21. Have you ever been fired from a job past the age of twenty-one?

Yes: 32%

No: 68%

22. How old were you when you lost your virginity?

13 or younger: 8%

30 or older: 3%

I haven't: 4%

Decline to answer: 6%

Average age (excluding "I haven't and "Decline to answer"): 18.9

23. Assuming they had identical qualifications, would you prefer reporting to a female boss or a male boss?

Female: 10%

Male: 21%

No preference: 69%

24. What is the most important indicator of job satisfaction?

Doing something you love: 56%

Working for and with people you like and respect: 25%

A big paycheck: 12%

Doing something for the greater good: 7%

25. How much cash do you have on you right now?

Not a cent: 12%

Less than $20: 21%

$20 to $49.99: 20%

$50 to $99.99: 14%

$100 to $149.99: 10%

$150 to $299.99: 9%

$300 to $499.99: 2%

Average: $134.40

26. How much credit card debt are you carrying at the moment?

Average: $3290

27. How many sex partners have you had?

Average: 9.3

28. How many suits do you own?

National Average - 2.8

South - 3.1

Northeast - 2.9

Midwest - 2.4

West - 2.5

29. You're hosting a dinner party and you can invite three men and three women from the following lists. Who's coming to dinner? (Percentage is number who selected each person among their three choices.)

Omaha Red Sox wrote:29. You're hosting a dinner party and you can invite three men and three women from the following lists. Who's coming to dinner? (Percentage is number who selected each person among their three choices.)

Omaha Red Sox wrote:29. You're hosting a dinner party and you can invite three men and three women from the following lists. Who's coming to dinner? (Percentage is number who selected each person among their three choices.)

WOMEN

Julia Roberts - 28%

Jennifer Aniston - 26%

Jessica Simpson - 17%

MEN

Jon Stewart - 27%

Howard Stern - 14%

Johnny Knoxville - 6%

That would be SO MUCH fun.

except for Horse-Face being there...i know this survey is a sham if Julia Roberts is considered hot

Omaha Red Sox wrote:

DevilDriver wrote:

Have $50,000 - 82%

or

Have a three-way with Angelina Jolie and Scarlett Johansson - 18%

I take it you would take the action over the money?

i would. what would i do with $50K, buy some lame sportscar or retire a year early or take a dream vacation...that aint worth the memories of that romp in the hay.