i'm biologically female, but i feel mostly like a guy. i'm transgender and genderqueer. i'm really hoping to get top surgery in the next couple years. i have yet to talk to my parents about it though (they're not that supportive..), and i have like, no money. alas...
i identify also as a straight girl, but mostly a gay guy...so i usually just say i'm queer :]

This is an amazing site! I am in my 40s and I have learned a lot here--sad to say, I wish this was available when I was an insecure teen (actually it is a good thing it is available for me now). I have been mentioning the site to my students when we discuss sexuality and culture. Keep up the good work :)

I am a girl, but I don't like to identify myself as one. Since I'm bisexual, I don't have a real gender preference for whoever I end up liking, and I don't like to have one for myself either. I act like both a boy and a girl, at different times. I don't like labeling myself as anything, not even a gender.

I'm bi/pansexual, and I'm right with you on the not-wanting-to-label. I'm very conscious of gender as being a role I play more than an identity. I feel like if I were to wake up one day biologically male, it wouldn't make a difference... although it helps that I might not look all that different, just be a bishonen-style pretty boy. (I'm super flat chested and narrow-hipped, even now in my mid-twenties.) I want to be with someone who's comfortable with me sometimes playing a 'male' role and sometimes a 'female' role, and sometimes not bothering with either role, not someone who expects me to pick one or the other.

It seems silly to protest people considering me female, though, since I am both biologically female and generally dress and carry myself in a very flamboyantly effeminant way (high heels, makeup, the lot) and if I were biologically male I would be probably considered very flamboyantly gay even though I think would still be attracted to women (as well as men). I love fashion too much to be any other way! I love some men's fashions too, though, (collecting cuff links and tie-pins right now) and my costume collection includes as many male "characters" as female. And in less appearance-oriented ways I am not very typically feminine, and not good at relating to typically feminine girls. So it's complicated.

akwasem, I'm sorry you're feeling scared and confused about how to identify yourself this way. However, you truly don't have to choose, because gender identity is something that isn't (or need not) be static. "Even" people who are cisgendered, whose gender ID and biological sex are the same, find how and who they define themselves changes over time.

And I'm not meaning to make light of it. I was born female-bodied and identify as female gendered, but my mom declared me male at birth. Twas my dad an hour later who noticed I was definitely not male-bodied. They had to call back all their relatives and admit they'd made a mistake. It would have been easy enough to explain if I'd been born intersexed or with something other than very clearly female genitals, but nope! She just saw something that wasn't there and never has been.

I was perfectly aware from an early age that I was a normal boy. Everybody around me said I was a girl. The lesson was learned quickly enough that if I wanted to live I had to do and say as they wanted me to, I had to try and be the girl they said I was. Almost two decades of persistant failures and misery later I learned that I would not live if I could not be the boy I was. It was certainly a long strange journey to become the man I am today and I still question myself on a daily basis, if only just for the novelty of being able to ask myself things many others do not give themselves the luxery of even considering. Gender is a blessing to those who embrace where it can lead them.

I Was born a female, and im attracted to men and woman at about 40:60 Also. I really dont feel like a girl because i have only had 3 mentrations since puberty hit. And i feel more girl than my guy friends but more male than my gal pals. Although i identify myself female most of the time when asked.

I am FAAB, but I don't really feel female. More and more often I've been buying "guy's" clothes and I haven't worn a bra in 5 months. But I do not feel like a boy either. My hair is cut in a fashion that is percieved as female, but if I we biologically male I could pull it off and not have the hair cut look female on me.

Sometimes I tilt my head in the mirror a certain way and I can see a man. He is very handsome.

But I do not really feel like a man.

I feel genderqueer, but then I find myself wondering what that really means anyhow.

I had the same issue for the longest time. I am about to turn 21, and I just finally accepted myself as genderqueer. It's helped me a lot. I recently came out to my close friends, and having people use gender neutral pronouns has really helped with that phony feeling, for me at least. I went through a lot of fear that I was making it up, or that the term didn't mean anything, or that it was, as I was told once, "not even a thing", but it was worth it. Figuring out your gender identity can be scary and nerve wracking, but remember that it is totally up to you and no one else!! Good luck!

I was assigned to being male at birth, officially I am female (for labels sake), unofficially I identify as transgender. I only identify as female because I'm going along with societal expectations to achieve the sexual organs I wish to have.

Another thing is, I lament at not being born female and having the choice of bearing children, would gladly accept everything else that goes with it.

the abouts:

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