God who operates beyond time and space, would you mind transforming me back to one year ago this afternoon?

Would you send me back to a time when hope still pushed aside the climate of despair? A time when I didn’t know death’s frigid grasp so well… a time when my body hadn’t yet become companions with various types of pain… a time when we stood on the edge of a possibility which would have brought prosperity for more of my neighbors and a time when hate was not so loud.

Where is this time machine, God? Maybe I would have made some different decisions, spent more time with loved ones, cared for myself in new ways.

I know we cannot travel back, and I know forward through the tunnel is the only path to journey. So give me the peace and strength as the suffocating shadows swallow me as I drive this stretch of road.

And as I reemerge from the tunnels, may your sunlight warm my soul again.

I wrote this only a few days after the election. This is how I felt – not only at the time – but continue to feel as I process what happened in our country. This is how I feel every time I hear of another hate crime committed.

I am a woman of privilege. While I have some awareness of my racial, citizenship, and sexual orientation privilege, I am also still waking up to my privilege. The results of the election came as a shock, and part of this shock is due to my privilege-related naiveté.

This was written with much respect to all people who have been assaulted in any shape or form, not making light of assault, and also knowing that a piece of us felt violated on Election Day because the results affirmed the complacency with abuse. Abuse has happened in many forms, and the Bible reflects that abuse as well. Please be aware that this could be a TRIGGER WARNING for many people.

*****

“Look, I have two daughters who have not known a man: let me bring them out to you, and do to them as you please.” (Genesis 19:8)

I imagine most people feel disgust after reading this text and are shocked to know this is actually in our sacred Scripture. Angels, in the form of two strangers, visit Lot in Sodom. When the community heard about the visitors, they bang on Lot’s door and order him to send them outside so that they can know them intimately – – or, basically, rape the two men.

Lot refuses to accept their demands. Instead, he offers them another option. Here are my two virgin daughters. Know the two of them intimately instead of our visitors.

Unfortunately, Lot’s daughters would not be enjoying the intimacy that comes when two people mutually give themselves to one another. This would be a violent gang rape of two young women. Based on the fury of this crowd, there is even a possibility the rape would have led to the death of one or both of the young women as we see in the similar story of Judges 19.

What appears in Genesis 19 does not seem like a story about Lot’s hospitality or creative problem solving. By offering his daughters, Lot still affirms the violent actions of a group of men. He does not give a second thought to sacrifice his daughters in the attempts to placate the Sodom community and to protect the rights of the privileged.

Up until a week ago, whenever I read this text, I could not fully imagine what the two daughters must feel. How could someone who says they love you be fine with throwing you away with such haste? How could the one to whom you looked for protection be willing to throw you to the wolves knowing that you would be violently attacked?

And then the election of 2016 happened. Just like Lot’s problem-solving proposal, it felt like many Americans have offered up the lives of people of color, the bodies of women, the equality of LGBT people, the religious freedom of Muslims, the well-being of immigrants, and the dignity of people who are disabled. In the process of trying to solve foreign and domestic issues, our neighbors chose to overlook love of neighbor and turn their heads so that racism, sexism, xenophobia and bigotry could grow stronger.

While some believe that the election results will eventually lead to positive results in our country, within the first week we saw the number of hate crimes grow. Pictures of hateful words spray painted alongside of buildings and videos of students chanting slurs continue to become the new normal in 2016 America.

Couldn’t Lot have offered a more humane solution? Couldn’t we, as Americans and Christians be more compassionate and considerable in the way we solve our problems?

Some of our neighbors wonder why we still “can’t get over” the election results and its aftermath. Like Lot offering to throw his children to strangers in order to solve a problem, many people across our country feel like their neighbors were willing to toss them aside in an effort to build a country that could be to their satisfaction once again.

Knowing that many of us have been treated like Lot’s daughters has left us aching, worrying, and wondering what will happen next.

It feels like we must live under a new normal. We must live with the normality of women being physically assaulted. We must live with a renewed interest in a type of “law and order” which will elevate the mass incarceration of our brothers and sisters of color. We must know that families will be torn apart based on who was born in this country and who was born elsewhere. We must know that Muslims fear for their lives as the country waits to see if a registry is forced upon them. We must know that marriages of our gay, lesbian, and bisexual sisters and brothers are in jeopardy.

We may be Lot’s daughters in twenty-first century America, but we refuse to be thrown to the men of Sodom without a struggle.

Lot’s daughters found agency… and all who have been marginalized will find their power.

God of all links, all vines, all connections-
In this season of festivities and meals,
As we stand deep in memories and nostalgia,
We come to you with our hearts raw from friction.

Moms and daughters. Sons and fathers.
Siblings, aunts, uncles
Choose to stay away from one another.
The pain is too great to be in the same room.
Words weigh heavily on our souls
When past sins and current life circumstances are discussed.

They don’t understand us. We don’t understand them.
And so we stay away.
At tables sit empty seats and cold plates
Because someone has to be right
Or because their voice and votes resemble hate.

We pray that they can accept us for who we are,
For the challenges we have,
For the choices we have made.
May they step into our shoes. And, when possible, may we embrace them with grace.

We pray that the shadows of the night can melt away as we look to the dawn.

Through the radical acceptance of Christ, may we open tables that have been closed,
Add seats that have been taken away,
And may the food multiply as our meal-sharing grows.

For many years, I was led to believe that there was only one way of being Christian. This way would focus on specific issues like abortion, who is allowed to get married, who isn’t allowed to have sex, and who will be granted eternity in heaven.

As time went on, I realized I never really identified with this flavor of Christianity. It was too bitter: condemning anyone who didn’t fit into their moral code. It reflected a sour that first appears as sweet. People invited you to their church which held certain strong perspectives – some bragging about being baptized or born again. All wanting you to join and change the way you are living.

Very little of the greatest commandment was discussed in these churches. Sure, there was a lot of implicit “love God” as they spoke of their devotion to Jesus. But loving neighbor was the null. It was hidden from their theology. In some cases, it had been discretely removed from the church altogether. Needless to say, hypocrisy was a dominant force in turning me away from the Church during my twenties.

For me, I needed to worship in a place who would accept my views – even if people didn’t have the same perspectives. I needed a church which valued my individuality and, at the same time, encouraged us to be in covenant with one another even in our differences.

Hypocrisy and negativity may have challenged me to switch churches and even denominations in my early 30’s. I could no longer fit my square self into the round hole my church had become. While shame raged within me, I walked away from the congregation – moving towards something new. For me, that was being part of the United Church of Christ.

Yet as part of my call to ministry, I knew I had to talk louder than the voices of condemnation and hypocrisy and present another side: one of grace and love. For many years now, I feel called to present Christianity in even more unconventional and heretical ways. I believe this is to witness to a more loving and more grace-filled faith.

A few days before the US General Election of 2016, I became a member of a (not so) secret online society called Pantsuit Nation. Some of the threads presented in the group include wrestle with their progressive Christian faith. They feel like they are an island as progressive Christians. They wonder if they can reconcile themselves and their political perspectives while still having a relationship with God.

My answer: Yes, we can. We can be liberal in our views of politics and faith. And God still has a place for us here on earth and here in heaven. There is a community of faith somewhere for you, and through this community, you will be able to realize that you are not alone in your faith journey.

There are so many of us online, in faith communities and in your neighborhoods. You are not alone in your perspectives. And your perspective matters.

Now is the time for us, progressive Christian friends, to speak aloud of what it means to be a progressive person of faith. Now is the time for us to talk of our struggles to find churches that align with our way of thinking. Now is the time for us to speak of our justice work, how being pro-choice does not mean you are pro-abortion, how all marital statuses should be respected and how marriage equality does reflect the love of Christ. Now is the time for us to speak to how our faith leads us to affirm black lives matter, women’s bodies matter, Muslim religious freedom matters, the dignity of people who are disabled matters, the equality of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer people matters, immigrants well-being matters.

When we are able to affirm the lives and livelihoods of our sisters and brothers who may find themselves in the margins, people are able to see the Christ in our midst with more clarity.

People are looking for us and our churches. Are we brave enough to shout the good news of God’s love and acceptance to all people, even in the face of hate?

Once upon a time, there was a king who ruled over many provinces. His name was King Ahasuerus. While he was on his throne in the Citadel of Susa, he threw a tremendous party. The palace was decorated in marble, silver, various colors of stones and, of course, GOLD.

On the seventh day of the great banquet, in his state of mirth, he commanded his wife, Queen Vashti, to remove herself from her separate banquet and parade around his banquet full of men wearing her crown…

Probably ONLY her crown…

…Because, of course, he was king. And rich. And celebrated. Some would say a star, perhaps. And he could demand such exploitations.

Queen Vashti was fair to behold- possibly a “10.”

But Ahasuerus failed. Queen Vashti refused to become another prop in his life, to be objectified by not only her husband but the many men who may grope her as she paraded.

Ahasuerus was furious – an anger which raged inside of him. He successfully impressed his guests with all he had, like the marble and silver and gold. But his wife – his greatest “property” – he could not control.

Loopholes in laws were always to his benefit, and after consulting some wise men of his time, Ahasuerus deemed what Queen Vashti did to him as wrong.

Out of this great anger, this great male leader of the time then imposed more rules against women. All men were to be honored… or basically obeyed… by their wives.

What happened to Vashti? Well, she went away…disappeared. First wives can be sent away without a second thought…

Did he pay her off? Did he settle in some divorce? Or did he just throw her out on the street without a second thought and resources to help her survived?

Ahasuerus then decided to find a new wife… a brand new hot wife.

This wouldn’t be just any wife. She would be pure – A VIRGIN! A Jewish woman named Esther was one of these women. They would be gathered in the palace. I suppose you could say that she was considered another “10.” But the still they ordered her cosmetic treatments…

Because she couldn’t be truly beautiful to the powers that be without these procedures. Her authentic raw self wouldn’t work for someone like Ahasuerus who focused on women as his possessions to be admired…

She waited for him to call… he was the one who demanded her attention and not the other way around. She must wait for him – for his compassion, companionship and care.

Like with Vashti, Ahasuerus looked no further than her outer beauty – forgetting that she was a person of faith, a messy flawed amazing person and a woman determined to save the lives of many others.

Queen Vashti risked all she had to stand up against a demanding man in power. Queen Esther risked all she had to stand up to a system that was going to exterminate her family and friends. Vashti worked outside of the system and Esther worked inside.

That is how Esther survived… Giggle when he wants. Get touched and paraded when he wants. And she gets to thrive in his palace.

In reality, Esther and Vashti’s beauty came from their courage, their brave souls and the Spirit which worked within them. Too bad Ahasuerus missed all of this beauty as he gawked at their bodies and faces.

Funny how few faith leaders call out King Ahasuerus for what he was and what he did and how he objectified the women in his life. Funny how this patriarchal attitude becomes normal and expected in our realities today too. Funny how we allow the privileged male leaders in our society to treat women this way. Funny how these attitudes haven’t died in two or three thousand years. Funny how those who read this story honor courageous Queen Esther but forget about the bold Queen Vashti. Funny how many of our closed-minded clergy are not calling out King Ahasuerus of the Bible…

Or the King Ahasuerus of today.

*****

While I am not explicitly political on this site, I felt the need to write this as a reflection of a Biblical story that always concerned me AND as a theological statement on some of the 2016 election players.

When I was in Kindergarten, we were asked what we wanted to be when we grew up. My teacher had us draw what we dreamed of being when we were older.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t see past the 1978 stereotypes and requirements of what careers women should enter. So I made a teacher-nurse – a career as a person who taught nursing.

As I got older, my plans changed just a little. For a few years, I thought I should go into dietetics. Was I passionate about the career? No. But again, it was a career in which many women were called. It was steady and safe.

Teaching and nursing and becoming a dietitian are all beautiful callings for both men and women, but they weren’t my calling. I couldn’t see past gender limitations for a career.

In fact, during my senior year of high school, I gave a speech why women shouldn’t become clergy. While I backed the speech with various scripture verses, the primary reason I believed this was because I had never seen a woman in the role of clergy. This wasn’t a valid reason for my disagreement with women in the pulpit. (I’m extremely positive God continues to laugh at this story…)

As I entered college, something in my gut told me that I should enter a career that wasn’t dominated by women. After majoring in English and working in non-profit marketing, I eventually entered seminary and began my path to becoming an ordained member of the clergy.

Now I can’t imagine a world where women aren’t in the pulpit.

Today, we shattered another barrier that limits women from certain roles or careers. This moment in history isn’t just about one particular person. I know many of you don’t like or care for our one female presumptive nominee of the Democratic Party, and that is extremely valid.

Yet, I want us to pause for one minute. In this very moment, something has shifted. It was like the shift I experienced when I saw more and more women in the pulpit. When we see women or minorities finally attaining leadership roles rarely held by them in the past, we change the framework of who is or isn’t allowed to have a particular position. We break stereotypes and preconceived notions.

When more women and people of color attain positions that exclusively went to white males ten, twenty, forty, seventy years ago, then more women and people of color are able to dream bigger than ever. Our daughters and sons who never thought they could achieve their goals now believe that they can. We can all walk a little taller because we have been reminded that all people are created equally in God’s image.

I teared up while watching the presumptive Democratic nominee speaking tonight. I write this not to endorse or criticize her. But this is to affirm her role in expanding the hopes and dreams of women and girls. When we see women in top leadership roles, our daughters and nieces and sisters and mothers will continue to believe anything is possible.

Our job isn’t to stop here however. We must continue to encourage all women in top leadership roles – including women of color, women with disabilities, and lesbian, bisexual and transgender women. When a young African American girl can see a woman like her as president of the United States someday, her dreams will expand. When a young girl with a physical disability sees a woman like her as president of the United States someday, her dreams will expand. We can’t just stop with able-bodied straight white women or the women who look like us. All women deserve to dream.

*****

All opinions here are my own and not connected with any organization or person with whom I am associated.