Smegtastic

Many many years ago when sitting around the rehearsal rooms, the cast of Red Dwarf used to joke about still doing the series in 20 years time. We dubbed in ‘Dad’s Army in Space’ and did old men acting as we blocked out a scene.

That was 22 years ago, I’m sure none of us was serious, of course we still won’t be making the series in 2012. That’s the future, we’ll all be wearing rocket pants and eating food that’s just pills.

Well, now the news is finally official.

It’s been stewing around for a while, Craig sort of let Starbug out of the black hole a couple of months ago on a local radio station, strangely what he said was picked up by the press.

My lovely twitter followers picked up on that and my tweet stream became a raging torrent.

So I thought I’d ‘help’ by explaining things and posting what I knew here. Oh deary me how that made everything worse. There were lots of phone calls, lots of stress behind the scenes. I took my post down and just didn’t say anything.

So, now Doug Naylor has made an official announcement at this years Red dwarf convention in Birmingham here’s the news as I know it.

In November this year we start to record a new series of 6 episodes, presently titled Red Dwarf X. I’m not sure of the Broadcast dates but we finish recording them in early February 2012.

I don't know if this is going to be a prequel to the three specials we made in 2009, or the follow on, or if Kryten will have a new turbo boost for his groinal attachment, or if it takes place on the ship, or Starbug, or if the Skutters will have speaking parts or even indeed, if Rimmer will be any less of a smeghead. All this is to come.

I know for certain that Craig, Chris, Danny and myself are all in the series. I do not know if any other characters will be appearing. I do know that Doug has barely started writing the scripts, so, although I didn’t hear what he said at the recent Red Dwarf convention he probably doesn’t know either.

I do know that the new series will be recorded in front of an audience, we have hired an enormous studio but as yet I have no details as to how, or where tickets will be available from.

Many people have asked why we are doing the series for Dave and not the BBC. Again I don’t know the full story but for one thing the company behind Dave, UKTV (they also broadcast Carpool) is part owned by the BBC so the series is almost made by the BBC.

When the specials we made in 2009 were broadcast on Dave, the ratings showed that it didn’t really matter, more people watched Red Dwarf on first showing than watched BBC2 – 3 and 4 combined. Red Dwarf holds the record for the most watched non-terrestrial broadcast ever, or something. Doug will undoubtedly correct me. Anyway, it did very well.

All this aside, what has just hit me personally in the last few weeks since I’ve known the shows were confirmed is that I have to go under rubber again. Everything about working on Red Dwarf is a treat, amazing scripts, great crew, wonderful cast, but I admit I am not looking forward to the rubber.

Anyway, as soon as I have more news, I will post it here.

This rather distressing image is what happens to old novelty condom head at the end of a long day.