Charles Barkley Reveals The Key to Beating Obama at Basketball: He Always Goes Left

"I'm an old fat guy now, but I'd kick his ass," said Barkley, a personal friend of Obama's, in response to whether or not he'd win in a game of one-on-one. Apparently, Barack Obama has a tendency to play one-handed.

Barkley says he'd be "terrified" to play ball against the leader of the free world because he'd likely throw an elbow in his face that would end up in twelve stitches, too. Why haven't they played a round since his presidency started? He's simply too busy "fighting off republicans and tea party nitwits" to play ball with him.