This is what I did this weekend. Trying to figure out a title. I’m leaning toward, “All the Halloween Candy My Children Don’t Know They Will Not Eat.”

Or maybe, “High-Fructose Corn Syrup: a Study in Found (Stolen) Objects.”

Or, “OCD.”

Or, “What’s Wrong with North America In 200 Pieces or Less.”

Please leave your suggestions in the comments. The winner will receive … all the candy! Not really. The winner will receive nothing but the thrill of having won, fair and square, because last I heard nobody needed external motivators to do anything. Happy Monday!