Try to imagine yourself in the Cretaceous Period. You get your first look at this "six foot turkey" as you enter a clearing. He moves like a bird, lightly, bobbing his head. And you keep still because you think that maybe his visual acuity is based on movement like T-Rex; he'll lose you if you don't move. But no, not Velociraptor. You stare at him, and he just stares right back. And that's when the attack comes.

Not from the front, but from the side-mounted M60E3 7.62mm machine guns you didn't even know were there. Because Velociraptor's a hunter, you see; he uses coordinated attack patterns and he is out in force today. And he shoots at you with this: a four-ball (M80) and one-tracer (M62) mix, allowing him to use the TOT method of adjusting fire to achieve target kill. He doesn't bother to bite your jugular like a lion, say... no no. He shoots at you here... or here... or maybe across the belly, spilling your intestines. The point is... you are alive when they start to eat you. So, you know, try to show a little respect.

Saggysack

05-20-2008, 03:40 AM

There was a Jurassic Park 3?

Ultra Peanut

05-20-2008, 03:42 AM

There was a Jurassic Park 3?Not only was there a JP3, but it also was a smashing success. It's highly recommended by nine out of ten doctors as a non-addictive sleep aid.

Numbah One

05-20-2008, 03:46 AM

So there.

http://badtofu.com/imgs/raptor_jet_m.jpg

Saggysack

05-20-2008, 03:53 AM

Not only was there a JP3, but it also was a smashing success. It's highly recommended by nine out of ten doctors as a non-addictive sleep aid.

I'm devastated I didn't know this. All these years and I could have seen it several times. I'm going to put it at the top of the queue on Netflix just to see if I get a reaction from my wife.

Ultra Peanut

05-20-2008, 04:05 AM

I'm devastated I didn't know this. All these years and I could have seen it several times. I'm going to put it at the top of the queue on Netflix just to see if I get a reaction from my wife.No, please don't.

C-Mac

05-20-2008, 07:33 AM

http://scienceblogs.com/bushwells/upload/2007/04/dr.evil.laser.jpg

"sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!"

Dartgod

05-20-2008, 08:36 AM

I thought this was a joke until I read the article.

Jurassic Park 3 helmer Joe Johnston will reportedly return to helm the fourth franchise instalment with Steven Spielberg producing. The plot is thought to revolve around genetically enhanced dinosaurs who are trained to carry weapons.:shake:

blueballs

05-20-2008, 10:24 AM

The dinosaurs die off from lead posioning
the end

Frazod

05-20-2008, 10:27 AM

:spock:

Somebody needs to Rick roll Spielberg.

Molitoth

05-20-2008, 10:58 AM

ugh, JP2 should've never even existed.

InChiefsHell

05-20-2008, 11:04 AM

http://scienceblogs.com/bushwells/upload/2007/04/dr.evil.laser.jpg

"sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!"

ROFL I don't know why, but that struck me as funny as hell...ROFL

beach tribe

05-20-2008, 11:21 AM

That's Retaaaded.

FD

05-20-2008, 12:56 PM

No, please don't.

Truly. JP3 is genuinely one of the worst movies ever made.

InChiefsHell

05-20-2008, 01:18 PM

Truly. JP3 is genuinely one of the worst movies ever made.

Topped only by JP2, in my opinion...that movie sucked beyond all recognition...

BIG_DADDY

05-20-2008, 01:45 PM

http://scienceblogs.com/bushwells/upload/2007/04/dr.evil.laser.jpg

"sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!"
LMAO

Rain Man

05-20-2008, 02:35 PM

I barely made it through the first one. I didn't see the second or third ones, and probably not this one. Maybe I'll watch the one where tiny mammals get weapons and kill the dinosaurs, thereby turning that whole meteor theory on its ear.

Pablo

05-20-2008, 02:40 PM

Truly. JP3 is genuinely one of the worst movies ever made.I have a hard time believing it could be worse than Freddie vs. Jason. I don't go to the movies very often, and I don't know why I went to that one, I think my date and I were interested because it looks so amazingly terrible from the trailers. And it was the WORST MOVIE EVER...

Amnorix

05-20-2008, 03:25 PM

I barely made it through the first one. I didn't see the second or third ones, and probably not this one. Maybe I'll watch the one where tiny mammals get weapons and kill the dinosaurs, thereby turning that whole meteor theory on its ear.

The book is better, by alot. I actually like Crichton, but not so much the movies based on his works.

Frazod

05-20-2008, 04:15 PM

Truly. JP3 is genuinely one of the worst movies ever made.

It's not that bad. Think Dune and Batman & Robin for that.

And it did have some funny moments.

Little Kid: You used to like dinosaurs back then.
Cranky Scientist: That was before they tried to eat me. :D