It is important for kids to feel that they fit in with their peers - other kids in your group or school or neighbourhood. But sometimes you may find yourself doing something because others are doing it, but it makes you feel uncomfortable or not safe.

You always have the right to say no to something that you don't feel right about. Sometimes it is hard to say no to your friends - perhaps you need to learn how to keep out of situations that could lead to trouble.

Positive peer pressure could be called peer support. This means that you and your friends can support and help each other.

Could this be trouble? Will it break the law? Will it break the school or home rules?

Will my family be angry or ashamed if I do this?

Will people in authority be angry with me or disappointed with me?

Will someone be hurt - their body or their feelings?

Will I be safe?

Do I feel good about this?

Assess the situation - think about what is happening.

You need to be able to recognise bad peer pressure.

If someone is asking you to do something wrong they might say things like.....

"Everyone does it""No one will know""You're chicken""Who's going to find out?""Don't be a wuss""Go on, I dare you"

Make a good choiceThink:

do I want to do this? (What is your body telling you?)

what good things could happen?

what bad things could happen?

Take action to avoid trouble

Decide how you can say NO.

If you are being bullied or you might be in danger, then you need to protect yourself. This might mean you say you will think about it and then say 'NO' when you are in a safer place, or not alone. (See our topicBullyingif you want to know more.)

Positive comments are good to give.Our differences do not matter.Say, "I like that."If you disagree, respect their opinion.Try to make friends. Imagine how you would feel. Very good friends don't dare. Everyone is different. Ben

This is what some people seem to believe:

Negative peer group pressure is cool.Equal rights are not for everyone.Good friends and good manners don't matter. Aggressive people are the most popular.Try to get others into trouble.Insult people's feelings. Verbal abuse makes you look smart.Enjoying learning is not cool.

Laura turned negative to positive like this:

No put-downs.Everybody's different.Girls and boys can be friends.Another child may look different, but we are all the same inside.The band you love may be good but accept it if someone else doesn'tlike it.Inside everyone are feelings just like yours.Variety of different people can be friends.Everybody counts.

Taigan 'Tamagochis' were really in fashion and everyone (except me) had one and I was begging my parents to get me one.

By the time I got one the fad was over. I learned not to trust in fads, they don't last long and I could have spent the money on something that I really wanted.

CaitlinMy friend had lots of disagreements with her class friends and her outside friends. She got angry if people did not agree with her or didn't like the same things, eg. clothes, bands, TV shows.

She used to deal with this by not talking to people, getting people on her side, fighting and looking for other friends. She found that these were not good ideas in the end. She found a place that she could go to forget or think about her problems. Now she thinks everyone can have their own ideas and people are different.

Maybe the positive group pressure from her peers helped her to find a better way of dealing with things?

Why not ask your teacher if you can start a chart in your class where people can write about the positive peer pressure that is going on in your class, school, playground?

You could call it "Ways for happy days" and have three parts: class, school and playground.

Everyone always hears about the negative stuff, don't they? How about we all make a big deal about the positive?You never know, it could be fun!

You can change yourself and help others around you to change by being a positive person and refusing to allow negative pressures to win.

Everyone makes mistakes; even heroes like Frodo in the Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter or Luke Skywalker in the Star Wars movies. The trick is to learn from your mistake. Admit that you have made a mistake, say sorry and see what you can do to make things right again.

Remember:Nothing is so awful that you can't talk with someone about it.

How to play: Type in the missing words. The missing words are listed at the top of the game. Clues are provided by clicking on the '[?]' alongside each space, or the 'Hint' button at the bottom of the game, however, you loose points if you use either of these. All the words can be found in this topic.

We've provided this information to help you to understand important things about staying healthy and happy. However, if you feel sick or unhappy, it is important to tell your mum or dad, a teacher or another grown-up.