Katy Perry Wants You To Take Your Heartbreak To The Marines

The trailer for Katy Perry’s “Part of Me” video had not much heartbreak, which makes sense, because that’s the big coyly-answered question of the song and the video. Is it Russell Brand? Is it Travie McCoy? Anonymous ex? Are they fighting? Military fighting? Is their relationship worth a good explosion?

Sort of. Katy Perry’s guy is a cheating piece of plot who looks like neither Russell or Travie. He’s clueless enough to romance a woman in front of a giant window, sitcommy enough to take his dialogue from the stock book (not once in history has “it’s not what it looks like!” worked) and… something enough to make a WordArt “Millimeter Peter!” sign. (0:21.) Katy Perry, meanwhile, is the sort of woman who either joins the Marines on a heartbroken whim or has wanted to ever since her guy took her to the carnival shooting range.

From there, the story writes itself, with these details:

Lyric-to-plot parallels: She drives away when the lyrics mention that! She gives away her phone when she wants to throw it away. We’ve got basic attention to details!Things that are oddly sexualized: Gas-station bathrooms.Things that manage not to be oddly sexualized: The Marines.Things that are cartoonized anyway, in Katy Perry’s own style: The patriotic parachute singing. (It’ll make sense when you see it.)Things that go shooting from the chest: Absolutely nothing! Unless you want to quibble about where people hold their firearms.Probably fake phone numbers: 347-555-0842, on a fake housing ad.Makeup allowed on a military base: Much more than in real life.