5 Reasons I (don’t) Love My Period

Not a hot mess – there is nothing hot about me when I’m on my period. Just a train wreck of a mess. I’m no mathematician, but I’m pretty sure that means I am a complete disaster for one QUARTER of the year. Awesome.

When my period hits nothing fits right, my skin breaks out and the achiness is no joke. Not to mention, there’s that whole inexplicable rage thing that flares up from time to time.

What I want to do is complain about my period, but Oprah says that if you think positively it will make your situation more positive, so here is my attempt at having a glass half-full perspective.

image via pixabay

I’ve thought long and hard and I’m come up with my top five favorite things about having my period. Here goes:

Bloating feels like a big hug. Oh, the bloat. Prior to having kids, and my awesomely cute post-baby-belly-pooch, I didn’t really notice bloating when I had my “time of the month.” Now, those days of innocence are long gone. For about a week of every month my pants fit me like a (tight) glove. It’s nice because it feels like my jeans are giving me a big hug all day long.

My family’s prayer life increases. When I’m being visited by Aunt Flo, it’s like a rabid zombie has taken over my entire being. My patience completely disappears and the tiniest things irritate me to the enth degree. Thankfully, this is actually a blessing because it increases my family’s prayer life. “Lord, please quell my wife/mom’s fiery rage or give her laryngitis. Amen.”

I get to remain vigilant and on guard at all times. Periods can be quite fickle in timing and flow. But, we women learn early on to be prepared at ALL times. You may be dealing with a situation that looks like a CSI crime scene otherwise. The good news is that you get to keep tampons and pads stocked in every bathroom, car, bag and purse you ever use. It’s pretty much a part-time job. Hooray.

image via pixabay

It’s like you’re in the emotional edition of a “choose your own adventure” book. That may sound kind of fun on paper, except it’s not. Because the emotions are limited to sadness, rage, self-loathing and apathy. On the bright side, though, the mood swings make life quite the adventure and always keep your loved ones guessing!

Food cravings are a wonderful scapegoat. My appetite seems to exponentially increase during that “time of the month.” But, does it actually…or is my period just a convenient excuse to eat dark chocolate and nachos in the same sitting? Obviously, I always blame my period, so that feels like a win.

image via pixabay

This whole messy affair gets a bad rap, but positive thinking seems to have worked! I’m feeling so grateful for my period now. I think my womb is even doing a little happy dance as we speak. Yours, too?

This is SOOOO me!!! The inexplicable bouts of rage are awesome! I also, for some strange reason, feel like getting rid of EVERYTHING in my house during this time every month. I bag up all kinds of things and take them to the Salvation Army. Then, when sanity returns, I end up sometimes regretting my decisions. Positive side though is that I don’t hang on to “stuff” for too long.