The Market Demands It

I figured out a long time ago that no matter what facet of the job force you belong to, there are certain times throughout the year in which those careers demand more of you than at others. Occasionally, you do not get to enjoy certain days that other folks do, because the field you are working in supplies something worthwhile to the majority. Holidays or not, somethings need to be done, they are vital to maintaining our infrastructure, and other things the market demands that they be open and provide specials and sales in honor of said special days.

For many years, I sat eating a holiday meal off of one of those paper trays that looks like a weaker version of a T.V. dinner tray. Horrible pressed versions of turkey, powdered mash potatoes, lab created gravy, powdered cider made in a canteen cup, dry lemon pound cake, or, if luck would have it poppy seed pound cake. Yep, many a holiday spent away from home eating some version of a pre- packaged meal with my brothers and sisters. Maybe it is too many years of brainwashing and camaraderie while scarfing down those meals, but I cannot figure out what the uproar is over retailers being open this evening and requiring their people to work (I did just join the retail world), after all, they would not do it if there were not lines of people stacked up ready to wreak havoc upon the carefully laid out establishments in order to get a once per year deal.

Six P.M. this evening I will get my introduction to the mind of the consumer as the Loss Prevention Manager for a major retailer’s store. As I try to maintain safe shopping and working conditions, while trying to catch the sticky fingered acts of someone who just cannot keep their hands off of costume jewelry and the other impulse items laid out throughout the store. You know what I mean, all those little items you would never think of buying 364 days per year, but just cannot resist getting three of because of their uber-low pricing and “buy 2 get 1 free” stickers.

Don’t get mad at these retail corporations for providing what the consumers demand. Quit talking shit about stores that you are going to visit the Saturday after Black-Friday anyway. If you want to get mad about these stores being open, get mad at the masses of people, in long lines surrounding stores and malls everywhere, waiting for the gates to lift and the locks to click open so they can storm the gates of retail like they are the beaches of Normandy and then it turns into a Call of Duty “free for all” session with one against the other in competition for a Keurig 2.0, the Door-Buster savings on a T.V. model that will be the same price in three months as it is today when it is no longer the latest and greatest. No, do not get mad at my bosses and CEOs of the multitude of retail establishments that will be opening this evening, get mad at the everyday people who will demonstrate their demons that lurk inside of them in pursuit of the ultimate deal.

Despite the Supreme Court’s decision that essentially, corporations are people too, they really are not. Unlike living, breathing people, you cannot shame them, they know no embarrassment for the activities they do. The consumer however, that is where you can lay down the shame. You see, if the consumers do not show up, the doors will not open, and there will be no reason for employees to come to work.

Do not cry out in support of us poor employees being forced to work by the man, I personally could care less. Let’s break down what this is really about, because it is not about people working on Thanksgiving: it is not a religious holiday; we spent most of the subsequent years after the supposed combined dinner of Pilgrims and Indians trying to eradicate the savage anyway; only in the last 100 years or so have turkeys become a commercially viable poultry product; and no-one besides my mother likes cranberry sauce. What this is really about is people not wanting to give up on their excuse to stuff their already bloated carcasses to the point of immobility while they sit around burping and farting during the Thanksgiving Day football game. The only effort being put forth from their corpulent meat sacks is the amount of thought it takes to figure out how they can choke down one more piece of pumpkin pie and if they have finally moved their personal health and well being to the point that they now qualify for a free Rascal scooter, all while waxing in white trash eloquence about the poor state of affairs of the world and how the country has truly gone to shit, meanwhile they have just sucked down enough calories to embarrass Gilbert Grape’s mother.

I hope that I end up with some interesting stories from this evening and the store has a great night, after all the majority of yearly retail receipts are taken in over the course of the next six weeks. Just like my last career, there are certain days of the year that I am going to have to consider not my own, this is just one of them, after all, the market and the consumers that drive it, demand it.