Sunday, March 26, 2006

Signs

Signs, SignsEverywhere a signFucking up the scenery Breaking my mindDo this, don't do thatCan't you read the sign?-Five Man Electrical Band

The latest news out of A's camp is that the asshole and the rest of the A's coaches are upset with the poor fundamentals displayed by the team. WHA?!?!? You mean this team doesn't have good fundamentals? Get the fuck out. And Macha is just realizing this now?

"We missed two signs yesterday, threw a ball to the wrong base, and had a runner thrown out on the bases."-Ken Macha

How is that different from any other game in the Macha regime? I mean, he's just noticing this now? Our players have been morons since 2000, and it only takes you six years to do something about it? Does this mean you'll finally take Kendall out of the lineup in 2011? I can't wait for that. I guess it makes sense, though, since Ken's been conditioned to fall asleep from 7-10 pm every night, so all these day games must really be putting a cramp in his naptime schedule, and he actually has to watch what's happening for once. Well, don't worry, Ken. In ten more days, you can go back to not noticing what the fuck is happening during games all over again.

Of course, the best part of the article was this gem from Ken:

"I don't want to walk in the clubhouse after a game and say we lost the game because of a missed sign."

That's just too fucking precious, Ken. Unfortunately, we lose games all the time because of a missed sign. Namely, this one:

Oh, the irony.

So I got out a pen and paperand I made up my own little signIt says die Ken you fucking moronDouchebag asshole swine

1 Comments:

Anonymous said...

From the A's official website:

Macha arranged a morning meeting with a handful of his veterans, including Mark Kotsay, Jason Kendall, Eric Chavez and newcomers Esteban Loaiza and Frank Thomas, and he emerged with what he felt was a newsworthy item.

"They wanted more rules," Macha said. "I showed them my list of rules from last year, and they wanted to add to it. You don't hear about that happening very often, do you? ... Did you ever go to one of your teachers and ask for more rules?"

Macha wouldn't get into any detail about the rules, but he did say there was a general theme to his players' desires.

"They want everybody to act like a professional," he said.

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I'll bet that was a hint to Macha, and he just didn't get it. They want everybody to act like a professional, which means nobody should be sleeping or filling out crossword puzzles during the game like some gray-haired douche we all know...

What else was on their list of new "rules"? No leaving Zito in the 7th inning after he's walked two guys? No bringing in Jay Witasick to hold an 8th inning, one-run lead? Let's see your guesses as to what other suggestions the vets made to our imbecile of a manager.