I sympathize with doctors and medical researchers who try to gather data for long-term studies. Human subject research is tightly controlled by IRBs (Institutional Review Boards).

Many times potential patients don’t want to deal with the fine print on the documents they’re asked to sign. And, then, if a long-term study does get underway, people who are signed up to participate move to another part of the country, and researchers can’t track them down.

A deeper problem is that the agencies that fund the majority of medical research in the US (the NIH and the VA) don’t have the money to invest in long-term studies.

Even research on life-ending diseases like ALS, MS, Pick’s Disease, and others, are not funded at the levels we need them to be if researchers are ever to find a cure.

Communities that organize around diseases like AIDS and breast cancer have driven breakthroughs in these diseases that benefit everyone. Heart disease doesn’t have lobbyists in Washington, DC, though it’s a known killer, and also one of the diseases where long-term research into exercise and eating habits could make a dent.

For environmental factors like lead poisoning and exposure to radiation, long-term research is also the key. Through research we can defeat many of these debilitating, long-term diseases.

Clare is also juggling so many balls that she doesn’t have much time for herself. If any.

Why do women have trouble understanding that self-care doesn’t equal “being selfish?” Did we hear that from our mothers, or simply observe that that’s the way women acted? I was praised for being selfless. A woman who was “self-sacrificing” for the sake of her family deserved praise.

As a young mother I instinctively knew that my children’s needs came first, and mine dead last. Overextending myself, particularly in the lack of sleep department, made me short-tempered, but I simply couldn’t imagine that a single mother with four small kids could find relief from the rat race of job, shopping, meals, music lessons, and after school sports. I wanted my children to have “it” all–the good life, whatever that meant. I pushed back the thought that I wanted a good life, too.

Self-Care and the Oxygen Mask Analogy

On an American Airlines flight, that all changed. The flight attendant demonstrated the oxygen mask and then said the adults were to put theirs on first, before putting masks on the kids.

“Who are they kidding?” I thought. Of course, I would put the kids’ masks on first.

In the years since hearing that for the first time, I’ve thought about self-care and selfishness, and realized that the oxygen mask was about more than what I should do in an airplane emergency. The oxygen mask stood for the daily habits of nutrition and exercise that I am still trying to put in practice.

Why do women have trouble understanding that self-care doesn’t equal “being selfish?” Did we hear that from our mothers, or simply observe that that’s the way women acted? I was praised for being selfless. A woman who was “self-sacrificing” for the sake of her family deserved praise.

As a young mother I instinctively knew that my children’s needs came first, and mine dead last. Overextending myself, particularly in the lack of sleep department, made me short-tempered, but I simply couldn’t imagine that a single mother with four small kids could find relief from the rat race of job, shopping, meals, music lessons, and after school sports. I wanted my children to have “it” all–the good life, whatever that meant. I pushed back the thought that I wanted a good life, too.

On an American Airlines flight, that all changed. The flight attendant demonstrated the oxygen mask and then said the adults were to put theirs on first, before putting masks on the kids.

“Who are they kidding?” I thought. Of course, I would put the kids’ masks on first.

In the years since hearing that for the first time, I’ve thought about self-care and selfishness, and realized that the oxygen mask was about more than what I should do in an airplane emergency. The oxygen mask stood for the daily habits of nutrition and exercise that I am still trying to put in practice.