(I know that isn't funny, it is a very sad reflection on modern day, state sponsored censorship. Try telling it to your MP and judge the reaction. Then you can laugh out loud! And you may not laugh alone)

The BBC have just announced that due to the unprecedented global warming, and unseasonal lack of snow, Santa Claus on his carbon neutral, reindeer pulled sleigh, will not be able to deliver any presents this Christmas.

This is a terrible blow to 97% of climate scientists and the President of the United States of America,, who also believe in Father Christmas.

In a packed lecture theatre full of eager climate scientists, speaker after speaker regaled the faithful congregation, with the lurid details of rising carbon dioxide levels, and the risks to the health of the planet.

The audience gushed with tears, some coughed and choked. There was not a dry eye in the house. They could sense and feel the intense atmosphere. Their nerves were raw with real pain and emotion. They knew they had felt like this before at every single conference of like minded people.

Which just goes to prove that 97% of climate scientists have bad breadth, and the toxicity of their own emissions should be curtailed.

Two distinguished climate scientists are having a drink, surrounded by the Nobel prizes, and other trappings of fame and wealth, gazing out of the window as the weather continues to fail to deliver what they have been forecasting and predicting for 25 years.

Number 1 Climate Scientist in the World "You know I can't even remember why we decided it was all down to CO2 in the first place, I mean, none of the evidence fits the theory at all."

Number 2 Climate Scientist in the World listens, pauses, and thinks, long and hard. Then says "Neither can I."

In the best traditions of climate science, that is at least a 100% consensus, though probably, even higher.