Feminist Jamgate

Whilst I am loathe to stoke the flames of this discussion which kicked off at the recent Mumsnet Blogfest I do feel there is a point I need to address.

Exactly what jam related things are acceptable feminist activities?

Personally I’m not overly concerned about not being able to make jam. Who the fuck makes jam anyway?

Even jam factories don’t make jam any more it’s all compotes and jellies and shit these days.

My other half once bought Seville marmalade oranges at the supermarket and tried to cover up his mistake by saying he thought I might like to make marmalade.

I Googled a recipe and was shocked to discover preserve making involves a lot of time, effort and vats of boiling sugar. I am not a woman who should be left in charge of pans of boiling sugar, I flail my arms around. A lot.

I’m also easily distracted. This post was meant to be about jam. Or feminism. Not marmalade.

Here are some other jam related activities which I’m concerned may be affected.

Eating jam

You start out banning preserve making the next thing you know the whole jam industry is forced underground. I’m not a massive consumer of jam but I will defend the right for my sisters to eat jam. Probably. If I’m not busy.

Listening to The Jam

And also singing the chorus to Beats Intenational hit ‘Dub Be Good To Me’.

Tank Fly Boss Walk Jam Nitty Gritty,

You’re listening to the boy from the big bad city,

This is jam hot,

This is jam hot.

But is this relevant you cry! I mean how often do you ever sing those lyrics you ask? Well more often than I make jam.

Who knew jam was such a controversial issue (apart from Chris Morris)?

As for feminism I’m not worried about that at all. Feminism is doing fine. I know this because I saw it. It was bloody everywhere.

On stage wearing killer heels and pink wellies. In the auditorium shouting angrily (with or without a microphone. Or a degree.)

Best of all was the large screen onstage updating like a football vidiprinter spitting out brilliant tweets.

(Stella Creasy 1 – Toby Young 0)

Until someone pulled the plug at which point I’m sure I heard the voice of Michael Winner whispering ‘Calm Down Dears!.’

Oh how I chuckled.
I am not a feminist but right now, at this moment in time, I have a vat of boiling apple & raspberry jam bubbling away! I love to make jam and chutneys (apples kindly donated by a neighbour with a massive Autumn fall this year).

Those killer heels were just killer, killer heels weren’t they? And I loved the pink wellies, enough that I tweeted about them. That’s the best thing about being a feminist, is you’re allowed to like both Loved this post. And it was great to meet a fellow Kirsty, even if it was right at the end – great excuse to come back next year and do it again.