Thursday, February 25, 2010

I love real People and Tabloid headlines.....Then a few Kittehs that I found amusing.....Making my own Puma tee shirt, just trace around the sleeping Kitteh, color it in, and you saved yourself a buck or two......

This is why your dog ran away from home.......

I bought a "super" magnet on the internet. Guess the Postman has a sense of humor.That is all.Wollf

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

......cuz you all lourves Wolf the Elder.....wow, when I started this thing he was still "Bigger Wolfie"....how time flies.

Love your kids, they grow up real fast.

Anyways, Wolf the Elder is becoming quite the young Man....makes me Proud as his Sire. Good looking smart and Honorable.

Did I mention he plays the Drums? Well, yes he does.....in fact he's darned good, and we can thank M'Lady Dragn for getting him started....imagine that, my new young Bride was Wolf the Elder's Middle School Band Director......and her instrument of choice is percussion...gets loud around the Lair when they all start banging on the pots and pans.......

This is his Teeny Drum Line's first show of the season down South at West Covina High School. Wolf is the center drummer with the "Quads" or, I think the proper term is Tenors.....hell with it, he's got one of the Four Packs on his belly.

And here's their show........

He's probably the least likely of my remaining Cubs to go Military....but a Sire can always day dream about his Drum Line in a couple years.......

Monday, February 22, 2010

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

Friday, February 19, 2010

PONTE VEDRA BEACH, Fla. – Tiger Woods has apologized for having affairs and says he is unsure when he will return to competitive golf.

"I was unfaithful. I had affairs. I cheated. What I did was not acceptable," said Woods, looking composed and speaking in a steady voice. His wife, Elin, was not obviously present.

Waaaaah. Apologize to your Wife not Us, you skanky skunk. You're married, and you had affairs with TWENTY FIVE different women?

As for coming back to the PGA Tour, Woods said: "I do plan to return to golf one day. I just don't know when that day will be. I don't rule out it will be this year."

Hey Tiger....just go ahead and rule it out as far as I'm concerned.....

Woods talked for more than 13 minutes Friday from the clubhouse at the TPC Sawgrass, home of the PGA Tour. About 40 people were in the room, including his mother. He hugged her when he finished speaking.

Momma raised quite a Man didn't she? The guy is the greatest golfer of all time....too bad his parents didn't mix in a little bit of Honor.....

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Durham, N.C. — Durham police late Wednesday arrested the woman who four years ago falsely accused three Duke University lacrosse players of raping her.

Crystal Mangum assaulted her boyfriend, set his clothes on fire in a bathtub and threatened to stab him, investigators said.

A judge set her bond at $1 million during a Thursday morning court appearance. Mangum, 33, has been appointed a public defender and is scheduled to appear in court on Feb. 22.

Police charged her with attempted first-degree murder, five counts of arson, assault and battery, communicating threats, three counts of misdemeanor child abuse, injury to personal property, identity theft and resisting a public officer.

Is this Karma?

Hmmm, I wonder if Johnny Nifong will be her Defense Attorney?I am smiling....at least ever so slightly...hope those Lacrosse players get together and celebrate.Wollf

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

We've just heard that the Obama Administration will be honoring the 43rd President of the United States by naming the gap between the tectonic plates beneath Haiti after him. The area will now officially be referred to as "Bush's Fault."------------------------------------------------------

Heaviest Element Yet Known to Science Discovered

Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory in California has now identified with certainty the heaviest element known to science.

The new element, Pelosium (PL), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Pelosium is inert, and has no charge and no magnetism. Nevertheless, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Pelosium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Pelosium has a normal half-life of 2 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a biennial reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. Pelosium mass will increase over time, since each reorganization will promote many morons to become isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Pelosium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Pelosium becomes Senatorium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Pelosium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

......and I don't really have the words......so I'll let James say it. I.....yup, Ol'Wollf sang this at our Wedding for M'Lady Dragn......and no, I didn't do all that bad....

This song just says so much to me.....the pain is gone, the Love that fills me, well.........

Happy Valentine's Day....I pray that yours is as genuinely Lovely as mine.......

The Wolf had traveled far and wide......Searching for his Bride,And Howled,and cried.....a Mate.....But the Beast,Didn't understand his Fate......

For "Fate" was in his own back yard......

I have one now....a Mate that is......a Forever One.....yup from my own back yard, the yearning is over.....Wollf is happy....not content, mind you, because content is for cows.....and Wollf is no cow......

Thank you Karla, M'Lady Dragn....for deciding that You Love this Ol'Wollf.....

Friday, February 12, 2010

.....Today is Abraham Lincoln's birthday, which used to be a big deal. But since George Washington's birthday (February 22) was made a floating Monday holiday in 1971, Lincoln's birthday has combined into it.

Totally unfair to lump all of the Presidents into one day........We as Americans have been fortunate in our History to have a number of Great Presidents.....and unfortunately, quite a few, well, er......not so good ones.

In honor of Honest Abe's Birfday, here's a Video that M'Lady and I did last year or so...the music is the Army Glee Club...enjoy...oh, yeah, ol' Wollf did all the photography.

Speaking of "good and not so good" Presidents.....Assignment= Your Fave and worst of all time in the Comments.

From the tilt of this blog, I have some ideas about the "worst"......Now Do it.Wollf

I grew up in Tucson, Arizona, and when I was a young Cub, I sang....with the Tucson Boys Choir for a semester, and my Fave was with a Mariachi group, Los Changuitos Feos....*The Ugly Little Monkeys*, founded in the summer of 1964 by a talented musician priest, the late Father Charles Rourke, under the auspices of the CYO (Catholic Youth Organization) of All Saints Parish in Tucson.

I only sang with them for one semester too....mostly because I couldn't play the guitar, the trumpet or even the accordian.......

This was the Group back in '67 I think......

I enjoyed it immensely....good guys and girls, and excellent musica....if you like Mariachi.

M'Lady and the Cubs and I went to Tucson last year, and visited an upscale Mexican restaurant....can't remember the name, dammit, and they had strolling musicians....

Two of whom were former Changuitos!.....and one, Francisco, rememered the Leetle Lobito......

Dammnation, but that was a good time, think I surprised my Bride when I joined them in a ....well in my opinion, an excellent rendition of Cielito Lindo and a few others....

*Beer was flowing, yes indeed*

Made me feel nostalgic.....and because I live in SoCal now, and "happen" to be a Gringo, there aren't a lot of openings for part time Mariachis....

Now I've found THIS!!!

Wow, now anybodies can feed their inner Mexican........

Yeah, it's funny. And I like it, and......I was given a Plaque by the Varsity Club in high school proclaiming me to be "Almost a Mexican" ....so you rascistas just "cierra la boca, estar tranquila"......

Besides, the "Almost a Mexican" is a tale for another day....Adios Amigos!Wollf

Thursday, February 11, 2010

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.

One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.

The letter read:

Dear God,

I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.

Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment.

Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope... Can you please help me?

Sincerely, Edna

The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars.

By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.

The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.

Christmas came and went.

A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God.

All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.

It read:

Dear God,

How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?

Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

No, Srsly, and I know, and I kinda feel bad, that this Blog isn't as "fun", or "popular" as it was in the past, but.......you see....

Sometimes, I just sit here, satisfied to lie here in the moment, the company of my Wife....hearing her work with Wolfie the Elder, or Lil' Wolfie........Fast becoming their Totem Wolf themselves......., and I wonder.....

"This is great, will it last?".......and I know, because I am the eternal Optimist,.....it will....

I steal a glance at Her, in the other room with Wolf the Elder, and it's almost like a warm blanket set on my legs on a cold night.....Really, I have never felt this way about a woman, let alone.......a Woman of her caliber....

*OK, for goodness sakes........*

When we first met.....well, when we "became", we both had troubles, but the troubles, when looked at as "Us".....only served to bring us closer....and very quickly.....

She is not only Beautiful, svelte....that means "curvy", gainfully and eagerly employed, immune to nagging, highly empathetic, intelligent.......

She has also proven to be the perfect Soul Mate.....when I look at Her, I smile.....

I just sometimes think that She is too good to be true......

......and then, and I know this sounds arrogant, but I realize that.....well, yannow.....I suppose that I'm really not that bad a catch myself.......

I LOVE this Woman....and her Boyz, as much as She LOVES my Cubs.....and She really does.

Dammit......I am Blessed.....

If you're the praying sort.....throw a note out to G-d that I don't screw this up.Srsly......no Way do I deserve this.

I know in my heart that we are perfect together, but I have to keep myself focussed on the Path....yeah, remember that?

Get your copy today. An exercise video that will keep you up on your feet for hours to the voice of your favorite Obama speech! Join Nancy Pelosi as she leads you through thousands of annoying exuberant clapping exercises to the voice of TOTUS Obama.

.....you see, I told M'Lady and the Cubs a funny story last evening and wanted something to go with it for posting, and I found this wonderful bit of music.....

This just deserved a post of it's own....

Have a great day....we at the Lair are going to be Extremely Busy the next few days, Talent Show at the Middle School, Women's Retreat for Dragn tonite and tomorrow, Birfday Party to get Lil'Wolfie to tomorrow, and our Friend's son is getting his Eagle Scout on Saturday night.....

Thursday, February 4, 2010

When people who love politics, pop culture and filmmaking are asked to humanize the sentiment of the founders in writing the declaration, we sometimes get carried away. And every now and then, they let us run with it.

The following video is an anachronistic daydream asking the question, "If pop producer Timbaland had sought to build consensus around declaring independence, what might he have produced?"

If you (like everyone at Soomo over 35) aren't familiar with the original video that prompted this parody, you can see it here. "Apologize" by OneRepublic went to number one in 16 countries in a remix by Timbaland.

They either rip, or squirt wrong, there's no way to dip a fry....aaaagh.

But now?

The ketchup packet has been around for more than 40 years, and complaints about it for nearly as long: too messy, too small, too hard to open. Now ketchup giant H.J. Heinz Co. is unveiling the first major packaging change to the to-go condiment.

The new design has a base that's more like a cup for dipping and also a tear-off end for squeezing, plus it holds three times as much ketchup than a traditional packet.

"The packet has long been the bane of our consumers," said Dave Ciesinski, vice president of Heinz Ketchup. "The biggest complaint is there is no way to dip and eat it on-the-go."

Heinz has long struggled to find a design that lets diners dip or squeeze ketchup that could also be sold at a price acceptable to its restaurant customers. For this effort, it bought its design team a used minivan two years ago to test if their ideas really worked while eating on the road.

Heinz sells more than 11 million cases of its ketchup packets in the U.S. every year and it will continue to sell the traditional packet. The new packet is in test markets in the Midwest and Southeast and will roll out at select fast-food restaurants in the fall.......

I can't wait that long.

*Only good thing that I can think of that John Kerry has been even remotely involved in.....*Wollf

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I am married to the most wonderful, loving woman that I have ever known. Thank you M'Lady Dragn.

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A Brief Description Of What You're Getting Into...

Quite simply, If you don't really know what you're in the mood for reading? This would be the place. A peek through the open window of my Life, Loves, Passions, Humors, ocassional Angst, and Hates. All rolled into one silly ass Blog. I hope you enjoy as much as I do...Wollf