The time for speculation and rampant rumors is over, as The Expendables 3 began filming yesterday in Bulgaria, and the primary news that we all basically knew to be true is that Bruce Willis definitely did not show up. While that’s bad news for my Bruce Willis fan club, “Bruno’s Backup Band,” it still means that the show must go on and an entire cast of stars shall proceed with blowing everything to pieces, smithereens and oblivion.

And to put an end to the constant rumors about which former 80s or 90s action star may be joining the cast of The Expendables 3 next, Lionsgate and Millennium Films issued a press release with the complete cast, as well as the official plot and Mel Gibson’s role in this third installment of the blockbuster action nostalgia franchise.

First, the cast:

Sylvester Stallone

Jason Statham

Jet Li

Dolph Lundgren

Randy Couture

Terry Crews

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Wesley Snipes

Antonio Banderas

Mel Gibson

Harrison Ford

Kellan Lutz

Ronda Rousey

Victor Ortiz

Glen Powell

The names missing from this list that will undoubtedly disappoint many people are Jackie Chan and Steven Seagal, who had both been rumored to be in negotiations to be this installment’s Jean Claude Van Damme and Chuck Norris. But the addition of Lutz and Powell, as well as professional fighters Rousey and Ortiz, lends to a new theme of youthful energy vs. grizzled old bastards for the plot of The Expendables 3.

In THE EXPENDABLES 3, Barney (Stallone), Christmas (Statham) and the rest of the team comes face-to-face with Conrad Stonebanks (Gibson), who years ago co-founded The Expendables with Barney. Stonebanks subsequently became a ruthless arms trader and someone who Barney was forced to kill… or so he thought. Stonebanks, who eluded death once before, now is making it his mission to end The Expendables — but Barney has other plans. Barney decides that he has to fight old blood with new blood, and brings in a new era of Expendables team members, recruiting individuals who are younger, faster and more tech-savvy. The latest mission becomes a clash of classic old-school style versus high-tech expertise in the Expendables’ most personal battle yet.

Conrad Stonebanks may be the worst villain name ever. Especially if you consider that at one point The Expendables were led by Barney and Connie. Just for sh*ts and giggles they should have had Woody Allen direct.

Exactly. Between the constant back-and-forth about going for a PG-13 rating or an R, as well as no one caring for Hemsworth or Nu Yan, (Van Damme being the villain was one of the main reasons people saw EX2), I don’t know if Sly has any idea what his fanbase wants. All he’s doing by “recruiting new blood” and going back and forth with the rating, is alienating the only target audience these films have.

Awesome way to weave two stories together with one comment. You’re so funny, Vince!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yet, I posit that if you learned that was the name of Harrison Ford’s character in Anchorman 2, you’d dislocate your elbow patting Wil Ferrell and Adam McKay on their backs for their cleverness. DISCUSS.