I love boys! I feel so passionately that boys in our society are being failed and expected to behave like girls, but as a mother of 3 boys I want to bring mine up to be real men - strong, passionate risk takers. This blog is about our family's journey in raising our boys....

Saturday, 14 May 2011

Heroes and Villains

Gazing up at the big perm, the trendy 80's clothes and the soft silvery pink lipstick, the arrival of my big brother's new girlfriend brought a new hero into my life. At 9 years old, I was in awe of her and wanted to be just like her.

Children need heroes. They need role models and they need healthy relationships with adults other than their parents. I have been reminded of this today as our wonderful friends have looked after our boys for a couple of hours for us. Max had someone else to teach him how to climb trees and build fires, and Jonah spent a happy time making a mess / cooking in someone else's kitchen!

Although I suspect my mum knew more than I told her about my teenage years, I did not readily talk about my teenage woes with her. There were, however, other women who were well trusted both by myself and, now I think about it, by my parents who were generous with their wise and godly advice to me throughout my teenage years. The relationships I had with these women were vital and I look back with fondness and gratitude of their sometimes sacrificial time and love given to me.

Children and teenagers will look for role models whether we like it or not. If we do not point them to the right people, and provide them with those relationships, they will look to teenage magazines that spout rubbish about needing to have the latest designer shoes or celebrities whose marriages change with their underpants. This is why we need to ensure that our children have role models who we, as parents, trust. We need to be developing those friendships with other adults now so that when the time comes for them to go to someone else for wisdom, we have the perfect person waiting in the wings. I want my boys to look up to men who are passionate about God, who are wise, who dare to be different in the world, who have strong marriages and who take risks and love adventure.

If we do not provide our boys with those heroes, they will look to villains. We need to be pro-active now in creating time and opportunities for these relationships to develop before it is too late and the villain steps into the breach.