I'm Married And YES, I Still Check Out Other People. You Don't?

Here's the thing: men in uniform are my jam. I know, I know, I'm objectifying men and it's terrible but I can't help it. Just like some men out there can't help the fact that cheerleaders and flight attendants are their jam. Everyone has a jam and it's all fun and games until you start catcalling, unwanted flirting and/or putting your hands all up on my junk. That's when it's about to get real.

You can look, but don't get creepy with it. Some of my favorite work moments are when we have fire drills.

You get to go outside.

You get a break from working.

Firemen.

Because I'm a fire marshall at work, I have to stay inside at the front doors and make sure the the building is cleared out, which means I get to be near the firemen when they come inside. There was one fire drill where a LOT of firemen were called out and they all crammed into the vestibule (not a euphemism for my vagina) like sexy sardines and were all sweaty and had like, perfect teeth. It was great.

But after the day was done, I told some people about this and the response was like I had just shoved my tongue down the throats of these firemen and fondled their goodies. Apparently when you're married, you can't talk about this sh*t with everyone.

Just because I have a ring on my finger does not mean all men and women (waiting for your phone call, Mila Kunis) are officially unattractive to me. Just because I find someone attractive does not mean I'm going to act on it. I have eyeballs that link to my brain and female-y parts that can't help but scream out "daaaaaaamn, son."

But at the same time, I'm very secure about myself and my marriage so all of this is very easy for me to say. I know there are men and women out there who are insecure about themselves and feel unwanted/emasculated/pissed off when their spouse looks at someone else.

I think the biggest reason for this is if you've been cheated on. Knowing from experience, it's hard to move past that but you can't bring that negativity into your next relationship. You have to get over it before you start dating again. You can't go into a new relationship thinking it's going to happen again or your love life is going to be very difficult.

You have to trust your spouse. And if you don't, chances are this isn't going to work out.