Fatty McFatterson Fails to Make Weight, Is Fat

UFC Fight Night 30 is tomorrow, and nearly all the fighters on the UK card made weight today. Nearly all except Brazilian chub-master John Lineker that is, who missed the flyweight cutoff by stepping on the scale and breaking it. Homeboy was 128 pounds – which normally wouldn’t sound so egregious, but since this is about the eleventh time the overgrown garden gnome has failed to make the tonnage limit he’d contractually agreed upon months ago… well, it’s pretty safe to assume that unless Lineker displays actual superpowers in the Octagon tomorrow, the dude is getting the boot.

Of course, with his wild and carefree eating habits, Lineker can now join the esteemed ranks of the League of Fat Fighters. Other members of that elite group include:

Anthony “Rumble” Johnson, who was kicked out of the UFC for repeatedly failing to make welterweight over and over again and now fights at superheavyweight (265+ pounds) for the World Series of Fighting.

Gina Carano, who, no matter what her opponent weighed, would somehow always come in ten pounds above that number. (Coach to Carano, backstage at the weigh-ins: “Okay, Kaitlin Young just weighed in at 140 pounds – hurry and eat this cake, then step on the scale.”)

Jason Guida, who crapped out of TUF for being a lardo, and showed the world his ball bag in the process.

Thiago Alves, who weighed in at 174 for a bout against Matt Hughes, and then won via TKO. I guess that would make him the leader of this group. Or something.