Americans Not Happy With Nation's Glorious Economic Recovery

Americans are—we are sorry to say—whiny, dissatisfied, lazy stereotypes of themselves, always looking for a "handout" rather than a "hand up."

Of course, you can't paint all Americans with such a broad brush; the top 1% of all earners, for example, are a peppier, more optimistic, "can-do" bunch. But the bottom 99%? Well. A new poll says they're more pessimistic about America and its economy than they have been in two years. The mood swings, god! If I didn't know better I'd say America is a woman, ha.

Capturing what appears to be an abrupt change in attitude, the survey shows that the number of Americans who think the economy is getting worse has jumped 13 percentage points in just one month.

Uhhh, hate to "burst your bubble," whining majority, but pick up a freaking blog summary of a newspaper once in while. In just the past month, a billionaire has announced several new quirky little hobbies; somebody bought an apartment for $221 million; major corporate CEOs saw their salaries on the rise; and we found out that Ryan Seacrest made $55 million last year. You don't see those people complaining. Even though the rich lost more than you in the recession, they've "buckled down," called their investment advisors, and now they're making a comeback! Take a little inspiration from them, rest of America. The whole "whining about my lot in life" thing is such a bad look for you.