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The Seven People You See Studying For Finals

Finals are upon us. After 15 weeks of papers, midterms, all-nighters, and misery hard work, we’re about to kiss the Fall 2014 semester goodbye. Unfortunately, we can’t escape without one FINAL (aha, get it?) battle.

When it comes to studying for finals, Penn State has some damn fine locales. There’s the gorgeous BBH building, where you can stare out into the gray abyss of Centre County in December and realize how accurately the weather describes your mood. For the social butterflies, there’s the HUB. There, you get the unique experience of having a complete stranger breathing down your neck while you slurp down your fifth cup of scalding hot coffee.

And then there’s the classic choice: the library. Good old Pattee-Paterno offers a wide range of studying spots to fit every personality. But if you find yourself in one of the study rooms, you’re bound to encounter certain characters, especially during finals week. Here are the seven people we think that you’ll see studying for finals this week:

1. The Biddy:

Or maybe I should say biddies. Finals week must send some sort of homing signal for every girl involved in Greek life to flock to the library. Never without their venti iced vanilla coffee, these girls will take over an entire table in the hallowed Harry Potter reading room. And if they were there to quietly study like everyone else, that would be fine. But no, they always maintain a low hum of chatter, which is basically a roar in any study room.

2. The Chip-Eater:

I’m realizing that most of these personalities have something to do with the sounds they make, but I digress. This person could have had any other food that the little library café offers. A soft, chewy bagel? Sure! A cup of yogurt? Go for it. Hell, even a salad is fine. But no, they opted for the one snack where every bite echoes through the room. And somehow, chip-crunching even permeates the barrier put up by headphones. I think it might be witchcraft.

3. The Try-Hard:

This person probably didn’t need to bring every textbook, notebook, highlighter, sticky note, and mechanical pencil they own, but trust me, they will. And the try-hard always has this look in their eye that says, “Hey, hey, look at me! I haven’t slept in 24 hours, look at how tired I am! Oh, look at the bags under my eyes! Look at them!” We get it buddy, we’re all there, too.

4. The Snoozer:

This person gives zero flying fucks. They probably just pulled an all-nighter, and don’t have the energy or motivation to crawl home. So they opt to make use of those comfy armchairs that their tuition probably paid for. I oddly admire this person, but I’m way too self-conscious to publically nap.

5. The Midterm-Final Studier:

This person is the equivalent of the Christmas-Easter Catholic. You know, the person who claims that they’re Catholic, but really only goes to church on Christmas and Easter. This person acts like they’ve been in the library all semester, while all the regulars throw major shade. They can often be found adding a Snapchat to their story with a caption that goes something like, “Omgeeeee on that studying grind all day errdayy.”

6. The Glarer:

This person needs absolute silence to study, but rather than go back to their respective dorm or apartment (where they can arguably control the noise level much easier), they opt to stare down the biddy or chip-cruncher. Perhaps the glarer is this way because it’s their way to relieve the stress that finals cause.

7. The Musician:

This person is way more into the sweet tunes blasting through their headphones than the information they’re supposed to be cramming. To show just how much they love their music, they give their audience (read: the people sitting around them) a free concert. It might be a hum that you can just barely hear, or it could be a pencil drum solo. Either way, they aren’t getting an encore.

Did we miss any studying characters? Let us know in the comments!

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About the Author

Anna is a senior majoring in Communication Arts & Sciences and Spanish with a minor in Theatre. Yes, she went to Spain. Follow her half-funny thoughts @exfoleyator and send her chain emails at anna.fo[email protected]