Me:messenger

A friend of mine told me the other day how much she enjoys reading my blog. I was of course, happy to hear that and perhaps a little moved by her compliments. I told her it means a lot when someone who knows me, who sees me, who hangs out with me, reads and relates to what I am saying here.

She asked me: where do you get your inspiration from? Where do you find things to write about? And all the good quotes.

I told her they are everywhere, in the little things. I am constantly thinking of things to write about and when I find a quote, anywhere, I note it down or look it up.

Sometimes I feel that my head is always in blog mode. Not that blogging has taken over my life but that this place in space has become a way for me to gather my thoughts. And the little messages I receive everyday. Because there truly are such great messengers around me.

– Why do we always talk about yesterdays and tomorrows? Moa asked as we sat in the couch with Bibbi and Lito. Why do we never speak about the present moment?

Everyone agreed and Lito filled in: Yeah, like how beautiful Moa is right now?

Moa smiled. We all smiled.

– Why do we always plan so much ahead? And why do we always feel a need to justify our plan of actions?

– Don’t plan too much, said the woman in the supermarket. Everything arrives at the right time. Her 2-year old son, Anitya (meaning “embracing change” in Sanskrit) is soon to have a brother or sister and I congratulated them on the pregnancy.

– Do you want to have children, she asked me?

– Yes, I said with a smile. In the future. I’ll probably be an older mother.

– Oh, I’m 38 she said and I’ll tell you: There is no age but the age we inflict on our bodies. You can be 25 with an unhealthy body and mind or 40 and fit, wise and strong.

For a second I saw a glimpse of myself in her, 10 years down the line.

– It’s good! Gör om, gör rätt! (meaning “do it again, do it right”) said another really excited customer when commenting on the broad variety of organic foods in my fruit and veg section (everything that i can get organic I purchase and sell – to a fairly reasonable price too)

– We’ve been thinking wrong but knowing deep down what’s right, she continued and now we are starting to reconsider our previous patterns. Keep doing that, she said and left me with a feeling that things will probably turn out alright, after all.

Back in my kitchen, with the friend who digs the blog, we were speaking about the guy. Yes, the guy. The one that sticks in your head, no matter how much you try to shake him off.

– I wish some wise, ancient Indian man would just tell me: Let it go. Let him go, she said with a dejected tone.

I smiled because right there was the clearest message of all.

– What if that wise ancient Indian is you, telling yourself that which you already know, right now, I replied.

In the buzz of all the messages we receive every day there is always one that speaks louder than anything else. Our own truth.

Yes, yes, yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are our own messengers. We MUST speak, be, live our own truth, or nothing else truly matters. For me, as truthful as I believe I have been in my life, I have also been a liar; holding onto untruths that have kept me from the deepest of my desires and dreams. Now, in this moment, I have no more time for that nonsense. Truth, or nothing. To quote John Mayer, from his song, Friends, Lovers, or Nothing, off his newest CD:

“Anything other than yes is no;
anything other than stay is go,
Anything less than I love you is lying…………….”

Speaking the truth is easy. Living by it though, takes courage. But until we do, we only use half of our potentials. Just like you say, “untruths keep you from experiencing your deepest desires and fulfilling your dreams” It begins and ends with TRUTH!

So yes, we are the messengers and we are full of knowledge and so good at giving advice, the question is only; do we follow them?!