SEXUAL

Recover from bad sexual experiences

The after effects of trauma can be re-stimulated during sexual arousal – because the symptoms of excitement are similar the those of the agitated state you got into during traumatic shock. Shock is a natural response of the body to trauma, but while animals mover through it easily – shaking and trembling with fear after confrontation with a predator – and then learning to overcome their sense of powerlessness through replaying the scenario in their minds till they get to a better outcome, us humans try to control all signs of fear and rage at the time of the incident and then get stuck with huge amounts of charged energy in our nervous system, which we then have to spend huge amounts of energy in trying to contain – since every time we experience turbulent feelings we associate them with the terrible things we have been through.

During trauma, you can help someone by sitting with them calmly and re-assuring them. Encourage them to tremble and shake, as this is the most important means their nervous system has of releasing all the adrenalin and other stress hormones that have been pumped into the system at speed. Sit with them and hold their hand, while encouraging them to take deep breaths, as their breathing slows down. People usually need to replay what happened in their mind over the next couple of days and should always take time off work after an accident, surgery or any other traumatic occasion. During their account of what happened remind them to breathe and draw their attention to what they are feeling in there body as they speak. This could indicate an area of the body that still needs releasing – whether the chest and rib-cage, shoulders, pelvis or thighs. If the sheet don’t release the pent up nervous energy there is a risk that the person will be stick with shallow, anxious breathing or that the muscles will not release their tension crating a lot of problems with back shoulder and neck pain.

The person can lay a hand on the restricted area and focus on breathing into the area, tuning into whatever sensations rein and where those sensations want to go. You can support them by resting a hand on any tight areas, or place your hand palm upwards, under the small of their back while they lay down, or under the back with your fingers supporting the base of their head.

Since we have all gone through shock at some point – and for many of us we have built up layers of trauma, whether from birth, childhood illness, medical procedures (such as circumcision), accidents and the psychological challenges of parental conflict, addictions or being bullied at school, the reidue of these events can be re-stimulated at any time.

If this happens to you, ask anyone you’re with to help you in the same way I have just described, as this is an opportunity for you to release some of the stress hormones that are still in your body. When old shock is stirred up

The effects of chronic stress can affect us in two ways; either we become stuck in a state of hyper-arousal as if our bodies and minds are tuned for danger (we call this hyper-vigilance), with a generalised anxiety state that quickly turns to panic and generates phobias so that we become quite avoid ant of social situations and places that might trigger our feelings of being out of control.Or we shut down, losing vitality and energy, desperately trying Not to remember, not concentrating , in fact not relating much to others or ourselves. In this depressed stat we lose interest in what life has to offer – although the underlying presence of stress hormones is still seen by being unable to sleep and disinterested in food and sex.

I also work as a sex therapist since training at the renowned Porterbrook Clinic in Sheffield, treating a range of sexual dysfunctions and relationship problems in couples and individuals. I spent a year successfully working with couples and individuals in the Clinic, some of whom had serious problems with sexual function caused by illnesses like MS, diabetes and cardio-vascular problems. Many others had sexual problems because of their relationship difficulties.

Techniques

I use a range of techniques;CounsellingCommunication skillsSex therapyCoaching programmes; Intimacy enhancement and improving love-making. See my site

Jon had suffered chronic prostatitis for over a decade after an early sexually transmitted disease which meant every time he orgasmed it was painful. This had impacted on his desire and sexual function so that he no longer had reliable erections and needed to use Viagra to get a solid erection. He’d tried many courses of antibiotics and frequent prostatic massage which was very uncomfortable. When it was bad he felt fatigued with flue symptoms and became depressive.

10 months periodic use of the homeopathic remedy Medorrhinum gave him pain free sex, restoring his drive, pleasure and sexual function, as well as his general well being and mood improving greatly.

Lydia had been suffering for years from chronic thrush and cystitis. The thrush had started after taking antibiotics, but had become chronic and didn’t respond to the usual treatments. She’d been following an anti-candida diet for years with some success, but her physical discomfort totally put her off initiating sex, and her reluctance was getting in the way of her wish to get pregnant.

Over about a year, we worked with remedies such as Arsenicum Album, and progressively reduced the inflammation and vaginal tenderness. She’s been fine for years now, and has two children.