I just registered here, I am new and I hope to meet some new people that share the same issues as me. I'll tell a little about myself..

I am a paranoid schizophrenic, I do not take my meds because I am afraid of them. I have a long list of fears which include, fear of being poisoned, fear of food alergy(even if i just ate it yesterday i still panic over it, I have to watch my food being cooked to be sure there was nothing added to it meant to kill me), fear of leaving my house(i have overcome that for the most part, i can leave but panic over it still), fear im being watched, fear of looking at the sky, fear of people, fear of anything out of my daily routine.
I cannot change soaps, i have to eat the same foods(about 10 different ones), i have at least 3 massive panic attacks a day. my symptoms are the usual as what ive seen other members post on this forum. thats just the beginning of my issues...yep theres more. I struggle with it daily and it torments me. But I hope to make friends on here, i really dont have many friends because everyone thinks im a "freak" anyway thanks for having me and i hope i posted this in the right spot.

I just registered here, I am new and I hope to meet some new people that share the same issues as me. I'll tell a little about myself..

I am a paranoid schizophrenic, I do not take my meds because I am afraid of them. I have a long list of fears which include, fear of being poisoned, fear of food alergy(even if i just ate it yesterday i still panic over it, I have to watch my food being cooked to be sure there was nothing added to it meant to kill me), fear of leaving my house(i have overcome that for the most part, i can leave but panic over it still), fear im being watched, fear of looking at the sky, fear of people, fear of anything out of my daily routine.
I cannot change soaps, i have to eat the same foods(about 10 different ones), i have at least 3 massive panic attacks a day. my symptoms are the usual as what ive seen other members post on this forum. thats just the beginning of my issues...yep theres more. I struggle with it daily and it torments me. But I hope to make friends on here, i really dont have many friends because everyone thinks im a "freak" anyway thanks for having me and i hope i posted this in the right spot.

I'm not claiming to know any medical information. I don't think it would be needed here, anyways.
What effects did the mediation have on you? What were they for, what in particular did they help?
I honestly think that you just need to go back on te meds. They were given to you for a precise reason, and that reason is to help you however they do. I'm here to talk to, too, but you need to talk to a professional about tour fears.
I have some extreme fears too. Everybody has fears, sweetie, some just have them more severly than others. Having fears is just a part of life. Imagine life without any fears, everyone would act wildly and the human race would come to an extinction.

I'm here to comfort you as much as I can. I, too, am new to this website.
If you want straight answers, I understand.

Do you have OCD? Have you ever spoken to a professional?

(Also, I highly recommend you watch the tv show Monk. It's about a detective with many, many extreme phobias. His brother is rarely seen on the show but he, like you, has problems leaving his home. I highly reccomend you watch it. It shows how someone can cope with fears and OCD and be pretty successful. Adrian Monk uses it to his advantage as a detective for the police. He isn't exactly happy so don't be reliant on it, but it's a good show).

Best wishes and happy holidays!

The following user gives a hug of support to Pikachu915:writtenINpanic (12-26-2011)

Thank you for your reply! I never took my meds, I've always been too afraid too. You never know what could go wrong, I mean what is in it that we don't know about, what if I'm allergic? You know , stuff like that.
I do see a psychiatrist regulary. He's pretty understanding about everything, and my fears. If I go in one day and its against the "rules" for me to talk he dont make me talk , we just talk about casual, everyday things on those days. I find that helpful that he dont force me into anything. I wasnt diagnosed with OCD, I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia and a Panic Disorder.
I've never seen that show but I do get the channel its on(USA i believe it is) I'll watch it next time it's on

Does your physciatrist know you aren't taking your meds?
I'm afraid of trying new foods, too. Spicy things screw up my taste buds for days, and I have an odd reaction to seafood. I dont have any allergies besides the common ones of ragweed and pollen, and I understand being afraid you are allergic to your meds. How about reading the ingredients on the pill bottle to be sure? You can start out on them slowly, and if you see any unusual reaction to them, you can just consult a doctor.
Doctors created medications and medicines by experimenting with things. People used to die from te common cold, you know. If you think about that, they pretty much died from a case of the sniffles and a sneeze. The human race has made huge advancements in medicines, as you see, we do not die from so many diseases. Why? Because people experimented. They experimented with things and found what helped them. They took huge chances. You don't have to take any chances here, doctors have experimented enough with your medication and found that it is fully safe and it is productivefor most who take it. Just think about that right there. You have to take a chance. I'm rambling, sorry, I just want you to see that they are safe and you have no reason to be afraid of taking them. And if they don't work for you, so what? Just experiment with different brands until you find one that works for you.

What are you helping by not taking your meds? They were given to you for a reason—to help you. So, you're pretty much just denying help. But you're also searching the Internet for someone's help. Obviously, you need more help. I want you to do some experimenting that I think can really help you. I think you should experiment with different therapists. I understand he makes you feel comfortable, but seriously, if nothing is changing and you're asking advice on here, then it is not working.

You need to be knocked out of your comfort zone a bit. Try new things. At one point in my life, I hadn't the slightest clue of who I was. Over the summer I tried cross-dressing and signing uo for social networking wesites under a boys name so I would be treated like a boy. I liked it. I also went to a friend's house and borrowed her pretty, feminine blouse. I liked it een more than I liked feeling like a guy. Now I am much more comfortable in my skin. Why? Because I tried things that made me uncomfortable. You need to try new things, try your medication, try new therapists. Try something that feels ridiculous to think about, it's always very productive. I honestly think you are defeating the purpose of therapy by not taking your medication. If your case is severe enough for you to need medication, you can't handle it with just therapy alone.