Unequally Yoked

There is a really popular Christian on YouTube that just gets under my skin. I can tell that he is a well-meaning guy, but everything he says is horribly wrong. He bothers me so much that I have written articles (HERE and HERE) and a blog post (HERE) responding to many of his videos. Jefferson Bethke’s latest video is a half hour long Q&A about relationships with him and his new wife.

The first question the couple were asked had to do with advice for couples whose relationship is “Unequally Yoked.” This means that one of the people in the relationship is a non-believer.

Of course, the advice from the Bethkes was to break up. But that isn’t my advice. Sure, it is tough being in a relationship with someone who believes ridiculous superstitions on insufficient evidence, but if you are I that relationship in the first place you and your lover probably have other shared interests and you probably have some kind of understanding already on this religious issues. If you don’t, now would be a good time to figure it out.

How will you raise children assuming you are planning on having any? Can you make compromises like kids can’t go to church until the reach age X and you can teach them how to think critically about all claims?

Love tends to be more than one issue, but sometime one issue can be a pretty big deal. Still, there are plenty of couples who don’t share the same religious beliefs and still manage to get along just fine. Just don’t hide your criticism. Make sure you are free to express yourself. That is good advice is any relationship regardless of whether the couple are from the same religion or not. In fact, that is true with politics and a whole host of other issues too. If you can’t express your opinion in a relationship, then it isn’t a good relationship. Both people in the relationship should be equal partners regardless of their belief or lack of belief in deities.

Oh and for the record, people aren’t property. We aren’t farm animals to be yoked. We are human beings and we have complicated relationships.

Tomorrow I will address the next question in the video. I won’t be addressing every question raised in the video, but there are a few that demand a reasoned response.

Staks Rosch is a writer for the Skeptic Ink Network & Huffington Post, and is also a freelance writer for Publishers Weekly. Currently he serves as the head of the Philadelphia Coalition of Reason and is a stay-at-home dad.