Travel special: The best of St Tropez

Take a fistful of superlatives (world's biggest superyachts, world's richest oligarchs, world's highest heels), pour on a nebuchadnezzar and shake. That's St Trop in high season. It really is. The world's most famous port becomes a heaving, glittering fleshpot in August. But peek beyond the madness of the Vieux Port and you'll find winding lanes of pastel houses, old men playing boules on the dusty Place des Lices, and the most glorious beach - Pampelonne - on the Riviera. OK, so the lanes are filled with the flashiest boutiques south of Paris, the old men shuffle aside on market day and the beach is crammed with the most expensive clubs on the planet. But there is also an understated charm, a pine-scented, salt-washed enchantment that makes it quite the most delicious spot on the Mediterranean. Top tip: opt for balmy, peaceful June.

BEST HOTEL FOR A DIRTY WEEKEND:VILLA MARIE Tucked away on a pine-covered hill overlooking Pampelonne, this little treasure has the sexiest, airiest rooms on the coast. Pad around your terracotta-floored suite (bathrooms are open plan, but this is neither the time nor the place for modesty), float about the shady grounds and sink into the rock-hewn pool, before snaffling up pistachio-crusted lamb in the restaurant. Only the smartest couples stay here - some bring their offspring, but don't despair: they'll be French, which means they'll behave so beautifully that you'll only notice them at mealtimes, when they exclaim politely at the succulence of the moules. Double, from £324

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BEST PARTY SPOTS FOR SINGLES: NIKKI BEACH & LES CAVES DU ROY There comes a time in every girl's life when all she wants is to strip to a bikini and writhe about on a table top, while waiters spray her with champagne. No? Not your scene? Then skip this bit. Nikki Beach has taken on the mantle of St Tropez's 'most outrageous beach club' (now that La Voile Rouge has closed, to universal local delight) and it's every bit as silly as you'd hope: near-naked dancing, male models snaking around in tiny shorts, glammed-up slebs (J-Lo, Cindy Crawford, Paris - sigh - Hilton) strutting about in leopard print. Shimmy around the pool, whoop as some fool sprays a £10,000 bottle of Moët all over the place and pass out on a white cushion. Then it's full-throttle to Caves du Roy at Hôtel Byblos. Yes, it has the biggest queues and the surliest bouncers but, once in, you'll be shaking your booty alongside Sophia Hesketh and George Clooney.

BEST BEACHES FOR FAMILIES: LA PLAGE DES JUMEAUX & GIGARO Laidback and discreet, La Plage des Jumeaux feels like a Floridian beach shack - all blue clapboard and white shorts - dumped on Pampelonne. That's not to say it's not smart, because it is - scrub that baby puke off your Missoni kaftan (and put on some wedge heels while you're at it). There's a little bar, a buzzy restaurant and kids can build sandcastles between candy-striped loungers. Even more low-key is Gigaro, a golden stretch of sand to the west. Not a superyacht in sight - just two private beaches (La Pinède and Héraclès), more tasteful Parisians than you can shake a baguette at and the odd Riva zipping across the bay.

BEST PLACE TO SHOP: PLACE DES LICES MARKET If it's Tuesday or Saturday, rise early (8am at the latest - sorry) and make a beeline for St Tropez's market on Place des Lices. Grab a croissant and drift around nabbing a Panama here, a kaftan there and linen shirts by the armful. Or sniff out the olives and cheeses and stock up for a picnic. Look out for Bardot - she's the one under an enormous hat, carrying a bag full of cats.

BEST PLACE TO NURSE A HANGOVER: PORQUEROLLES Blow away the cobwebs with a powerboat blast west from St Tropez (give a cheery wave to the folk at Club 55). Destination? Porquerolles, the funkiest (and least nude) of the Îles d'Hyères. Sheltered, glittering bays and a botanical reserve make it the perfect recovery zone. Best antidote of all is the lobster cooked by Jöel Guillet at Le Mas du Langoustier, served - hangover permitting - with organic rosé made on the island.

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BEST PLACE FOR CELEBRITY-SPOTTING: CLUB 55 It was the film's crew of And God Created Woman (and its pneumatic star, Brigitte Bardot) that stopped off at a little beach bar on Pampelonne and took a shine to its sandy floors and fresh seafood. The floors and seafood are still there, but the vibe, almost 60 years later, is a little different. Club 55 is an institution, but ignore the hype (and the queues of Lamborghinis and Ferraris). It's impossible not to love this place: the blue Provençal tablecloths, the billowing white shades, the chilled artichoke starter, the glorious grilled loup de mer. The service is the friendliest in St Tropez - the staff couldn't give a monkey's if you're Bono or Lord Freddie Windsor. Oh yes, it's not bad for star-spotting, either.

BEST PLACE FOR PIRATE-SPOTTING: BALCONY OF HOTEL SUBE It's not glam. It's not glitzy. No, it's downright scruffy, but you can't beat the view of the deranged carnival that is the Vieux Port. Patronised by old sea dogs - one with an actual parrot (really) - the first-floor bar at the Hôtel Sube has a bird's-eye view of the feckless fashion victims and the superyachts docked stern-in, allowing the owners to conduct dinner parties served by girls in micro naval uniforms. An evening's entertainment for the price of a kir royal.

:: The full South of France travel special is in Tatler July, out now.