co-sleeping weaning

04-04-2008, 04:45 AM

my son is only 5mon old, and he's been on our bed since ~1mon+ ... we love the cuddling and going to bed part... no struggle, no cries.

i just want to know when should I be thinking about weaning him off to his own bed. Most people i talk to averages ~2-3yrs... and I also read that i should let him be... once he's ready, he'll wean on his own... anyone with experience want to share?

i'm not in a rush to wean him though... coz once I go back to work... sleep time is the only time I can count on to be on his side uninterrupted and breastfeed him...

We (my husband and I) recently had this talk (we talk about it once in a while) and I really do think that a good place to start is talking about what both of your desires are for cosleeping or weaning out of the bed. For us, it happens that we are still pretty comfortable with the current arrangement (both kids in the bed - 1 is 12 mos, the other is 3 yrs). We have a king size bed and a twin bed side by side touching each other, so it's a nice size sleeping space for the four of us. But, at one point, we'll either wean our oldest into her own bed or we'll add another sleeping space in our room and move out some of the other furniture to make space. I guess we are pretty casual about it and take it one day at a time, but that works.

When we do move her out, it'll be in phases - separate her twin mattress from the king and have her bed be in our room (we may need to move out some other furniture from the room to make space), then move the bed to her "bedroom", decorate it together (have her pick out pieces), then most likely start the night in the bed with her. She'll always be welcomed back into our room, so I still envision her at an older age making her way back into our bed some nights.

But, quite honestly, one of the biggest reasons why we haven't do it yet is because we are all getting sleep right now and the thought of going through a weaning phase makes me tired...it's called the lazy mom's way of parenting!

I'd be really interesting though to see at what age she'd ask for a bed for herself. My guess is somewhere around 5 for her. I wonder if a study has been done on this (when a cosleeping child will ask for a bed)? I should look...it's very interesting.

Comment

My DS starts the night in his bed (in our room) then when he wakes the first time I bring him to our bed.
I think changing your nighttime routine depends on how everyone involved feels. I say take it one night at a time and if everyone is rested and happy then I wouldn't change a thing renegotiate the situation when you need to.

In my personal opinion you should start think about this when you, your husband or your son starts to show signs of not beeing comfortable with sharing sleep any longer. To give this issue any thought before that just takes away some of the magic, I think...

It is so easy to think about all these possible challenges that lies ahead - so easy that it is just as easy to miss out on the enjoying of today and this present moment.

If we let the children lead the way - if we are able to trust them to tell us when it is time for changes - then I belive we are in for a much more harmonious ride.

She'll always be welcomed back into our room, so I still envision her at an older age making her way back into our bed some nights.

we've always had this attitude, too. ds1 was in his own bed, then we had ds2 and we wanted to all sleep together b/c it was easier, now the two of them sleep together most nights, but we've had at least 25 sleep arrangements so far and expect that there will be more....