Can you believe little old me from the Gold Coast, Australia was interviewed by Dr Peter Heiner on Medical Matters, 4CRB radio?

In case you didn’t know or forgot to tune in, follow the link below to hear my brief interview on the issues of Menopause. I even disclose the results of an internal study of some 160 patients of mine and their change in hormone levels once they stopped eating chicken. Simple, yes, but the results were astounding!

Listen to my 4CRB interview and don’t forget to share this post with your friends who may also love to know that there ARE solutions available to them.

Endometriosis is dreadfully painful. The good news is that it can now be treated NON-SURGICALLY. I know because I do it for my own patients, with great results too. It’s absolutely fantastic news for sufferers.
Here’s a video I made recently to explain the problem and how the solution works:

Here I am, after several months, still in my little ‘medical cubby house’ while the rich and powerful decide when the re-building can start!

Actually it’s not so bad, if it weren’t for the effect of the colours in here. When I moved in here it was for a ‘few weeks’ and therefore I just gathered a spare desk, chair, bookcase etc and crammed them in so I could function. I thought little, if at all, about the colour scheme as it was such a short time in view.

Now I find I am more and more affected by the darkness of things. I know a little about colour therapy, from a psychological point of view. So I have asked my interior designer, Gail Rust, to source some other furniture. Even if it is only for 3 months, I need relief.

But what do you do with such a small space?? It’s only 2.5m x 2.7m!! And we can still fit in Pap smears, Xray viewing, injection equipment, as well computers and all the usual paraphernalia of a doctor’s desk! The patients are amazed. Even I am amazed.

Getting this sorted for the next 3 months means we will lighten up the atmosphere in here by getting everything to be as light a colour as possible, and yet we have to create a feminine environment, not just white-clinical, and I need people to see a few of my qualifications so they can see what they are spending their money on!

Maybe you think this is Ego, and maybe it is. But there are good reasons for letting people see who and what you are, and providing a welcoming place for them to tell you of their distress. Because, believe me, people do not go to the doctor to tell them how happy they are; initially at least it is all about their distress. So the colours they meet at the door are Very Important.

The most popular colours for Doctors’ surgeries are white and blue; used to be green in the 50s! But white and blue are not happy colours. They are both in the cool spectrum. A little peach-apricot here and there will lift things enormously. A little gold, perhaps? Even if it is only an ornament. It is possible to create a lounge room effect and still be clinically appropriate. And the patients’ reaction is so much more positive. Reassuring, comforting, safe.

Years ago I read about the Luscher Colour Test and it is a treasure trove of info for anyone who is interested! (try http://www.colorquiz.com)

Sometimes, when you have accumulated a lifetime of mistakes, and good things, why is it that the mistakes erupt into our awareness in quiet moments, rather than the joys?

And why, when we recall some events in our lives, do we recall in detail, the slights and offences when the praise and compliments seem to have a softer, and unheard, voice?

And why, when people discuss, and then dispute about the issues of life, do the negatives arise more easily than the positives, which somehow seem so weak and prissy??

Whatever the reason, we need to be alert. We need to understand and compensate for our ever-negative emotions. They are ingredients of our ego, always on the alert to protect us from even the tiniest enemy.

We are afraid. And being afraid we react to protect by attack.

Fear, anger and hate are on a single continuum. Tolerance, kindness and loving are on a different continuum, which the ego distrusts, in case we are made fools of, and so ‘lose’ something, if even only ‘face’.

Beware the wedge of intolerance. It leads to fear, anger and hate.
Adopt instead the wedge of kindness, it leads…… To peace in the soul, peace in the house, and ultimately peace in the world.

While you are busy worrying about your hormones, how to fix your hot flushes, etc, spare a thought for another issue, brought into high relief on my recent cruise.

In an attempt to spare the feelings of non-Christians, Christmas was not celebrated, other than a few decorations and some very discreet musak in the elevators. I must say it was a real disappointment, to be on a Christmas cruise but no Christmas!

I would like to compile a list. A list of feasts for everyone, from Christians to Muslims, from Jews to Buddhists and everyone else, Hindus, Jehovah’s Witnesses, everyone. And the dates that these feasts occur in 2014 so that we can celebrate with others and come to understand what each others’ feasts represent. God forbid, we might even begin to see similarities…..! Tolerance and extra days of celebration will help us be more open to our differences.

So, come on, all you who follow me, let’s have them, all the feast days that are occasions for celebration and their meaning. I will let everyone know on Facebook and we can be good to each other by allowing for differences, instead of neutralising the traditions we grew up with!

Christmas, New Year, holidays, presents, over eating, crowded houses…..often with the celebrations comes chaos during the festive season. What is that, you say? It has been referred to as the butterfly effect, i.e. when a butterfly flaps its wings in the Amazon basin, the effects on weather can be felt everywhere. But technically, chaos theory is a mathematical construct to show how even a small change at the beginning of a process can produce huge, and maybe unexpected, effects on the outcome.

But we all know this intuitively. We understand that if you train a child well, the outcome is a well-behaved teenager and a mature adult. We also know that if you ‘spare the rod, you spoil the child’. I’m not an advocate for spanking a child daily, but a sensible approach to control in the early years will make the outcome much improved. An excessive amount of control in the early years can have the opposite and unwelcome effect of anti-establishment behaviour as an adult.

Why is this important? Because we need to weigh up the risks and benefits of our decisions. Some act on impulse as if that is the only option. There is impulse, impulse control and compulsion. Fat people feel compelled to eat. Anxious people feel compelled to worry. We all feel the impulse to shop-and-buy but we control it or we go bust! Compulsions are harder to resist but can be controlled and ultimately, resisted. It all depends on our mind training.

Most adults value their freedom, a lot. Freedom to choose, to speak out, to go and come whenever and wherever we wish. But these are not unrestricted freedoms. We act within limits, considering what the outcomes will be. If we can program ourselves to produce better outcomes, small changes in behaviour at the outset will greatly change the outcome. It is not necessary to look at the totality of a problem, only to look at the bit we can manage better. Thus that famous Chinese saying: the longest journey starts with a single step.

I am impatient by nature. It has served me well, and, I admit, not so well some of the time. But when I do take time (and I don’t mean procrastinate) I accomplish more, to my amazement! There are times when I have been able to make a small change and the butterfly has had its effect on the outcome to the welcome surprise of all concerned! My normal bull-at-a-gate approach has impressed many by my preparedness to act and deal with emergency situations, but the considered approach usually has better endings.

Making a difference in the world around you is a matter of finding a small decision and acting on it. Try to see if you are just reacting and if so, give yourself a different script for next time. But don’t shut out the joy. Joy does not have to be Maximum Joy to refresh your soul. Small joys will do it too. Accumulating small joys is an art form and a pleasurable one. Makes one glad to be alive, without being the highest orgasmic point of one’s life. And who can live at the highest orgasmic point of life every day? Would that not pale into mediocrity if too sustained? Better to have some small joys every day and some high points here and there to look forward to. Making small changes in expectation and action can have benefits in results and joy later.

As we are all recovering from holidays parties and getting ready to greet the New Year , I thought I’d share some ideas for cheese platters. It’s about Taking Time…

This world is way too rushed. We try, try, try to do everything and we don’t see how we are destroying ourselves and our world. We all complain about headaches and tiredness, and not being able to relax. Why? Who is holding that gun to our heads? But we are all victims of our illusions, our ego, the script our parents gave us. We need to stop everything. Think about who we are and where we want to go, and then go there.We may not have the time we think we have. It’s an old adage, but what would you do today if you found you only had six months to a peaceful demise? What would I do? Firstly I would spend and give away all that I have, mainly to my kids and to charity. (Well, maybe I’d check the diagnosis first!) Then I would write letters to all my friends and relations telling them to either (a) understand how much I appreciate and love them, or (b) grant me forgiveness of any hurt I have caused them, or they me. For anyone who has seriously caused me pain I might tell them to ‘go forth and multiply’ but not in those exact words!

If I have the funds, I would go to my bucket list (which is getting short, by the way) and choose the one thing I would be sad not to have done, and make plans to do it ASAP. Mind you, I have experience. My life has hung in the balance more than once and the last time I crossed something off my bucket list was when I decided to become a lawyer! It was the one thing I would regret if I didn’t do it. Well of course it was not the end of my life but the start of a whole new life, and live it I did!In the last few years I made another decision or two. One was to establish ways to help women get through menopause more safely and more comfortably.The other was to smell the roses, although sitting here in a Broadbeach cafe there are precious few roses to smell. The third decision was to go with my instincts and tell people about my abiding interest in using the mind as a way to re-shape reality, or change it altogether.

From childhood, or at least from about age 10-11 I have been asking the question of how to alter my reality. Are there parallel universes? Can the pathway through this one be changed? Could I really see the wonders of the world although I was trapped in an Irish village whose most distant collective thoughts were of the aunt who went to America thirty years before and was never heard from again? Other than that, the only thing to be considered was the trip “to town” at Christmas for shopping.But the treasure I found in my grandfather’s imagination changed my reality. He told me (and my sisters, but these were always understood by me to be mine alone) stories of far lands, with lions and tigers, elephants and monkeys and great adventures to be had. Small wonder I jumped at the chance to go to Africa with the Red Cross. That was a turning point in my life as I married the handsome Frenchman and although the husband is history, I have my sons who love me.

Imagination can and does change lives. Learning to use your imagination may not be as easy as it sounds. Some people think that they are unable to visualise things. Some people are so hidebound by their current problems in this reality that they cannot conceive of anything else. I have been blessed with not only a vivid imagination (which caused ructions when I was a child) but also the opportunity to teach others how to reach out into the future. Why, just this morning I wondered what it would be like to afford all the different cars I wish I owned. The gift of imagination cannot be over emphasised as it is of such enormous importance. To the children of the multi media world, imagination seems to extend only to the newest electronic game toy, the extended war games played with unknown and unseen companions on the Internet.

The extended possibilities of our own imagination are rarely. My experience of what goes on inside schools is fairly out of date but listening to children discussing their projects, imagination and personal wish lists are not featured very often or stressed as a tool to develop imagination. Yet with this one tool, immediately available to everyone who has taken the trouble to develop it, we can truly be free.Now that we know time can speed up or slow down, we should take a moment to create or recreate our lives. True security, as in “seeking the truth and being of service is more important than winning”. Thank you, James Redfield.

Ever noticed how many people shy away from giving compliments? There are those who think it’s sucking up, or smarmy somehow, or deeply insincere to tell someone something good about themselves. Compliments, if any, are limited to “You’re looking good today” or ” That’s very kind, thank you”. But almost never are we told things like “You are the kindest person I know” or “You always make me feel better after I’ve chatted to you”.But think for a moment. You are standing at the gates of Heaven but the records have been lost and St Peter does not recognise you. (Just suspend belief here and work with me…). So he turns to you and says ” Just tell me your good qualities and if they are sufficient, I’ll let you in”. What are you going to say?We all know that your Mercedes, swimming pool and off shore investments are not going to do the job, so what do you know about yourself that merits you getting into Heaven? We should really ask our nearest and dearest for the answers as I, for one, am much more aware of my shortcomings, and my good qualities don’t really make a very long list! Or so I think. Once we have made out a list for ourselves, it may need revision once we check with our friends, but the delight in this exercise, if the friends are sincere, is that you may discover good things about yourself that you never realised! I know one busy, busy person who discovered that we, her friends, all feel we are the entire focus of her attention when we speak together. It’s as if we are really valuable for those times and we feel suddenly stronger, calmer, and better value to the world when she looks at us. And we all felt the same! But we had never told her. How sad. Now at least she knows something to add to her Heaven list. When you have thought about, or found out about your good qualities, then find a place to write them down. Consult the list on those dark days when nothing goes right. Make sure you understand that famous extract from the Desiderata: You are a child of the universe and you have a right to be here. The other extract I love is: No doubt the universe is unfolding as it should, whether or not that is apparent to you or me. What a wonderful way to increase your confidence in the future, just when you’re weighed down with heavy burdens of life. Let go and let God, they say. Resolve today to find something beyond platitudes to say to someone you meet. Watch them smile and note the inner feelings it gives you too.

Once again I find a perfectly decent human being bullied and exhausted by the stress of divorce so that she is ready to accept whatever he offers in the face of his threat to “get tough” if she goes to a solicitor! After years of struggling to be heard as a grown woman inside her marriage, she is giving up, going back to Mum, and throwing in the towel.

I have been there, I can tell you. You feel totally wrecked by the process of separation, by the haranguing and arguments, by the self-disappointment and the anger at betrayal. There is always tomorrow, you believe. I can make it without him, you say. Just agree to it and let me get on with my life, I hear.

And five or seven or ten years later you wonder where that lovely vase that Aunty Peggy gave you is….? And what ever happened to the good lace christening gown the children were christened in…? I used to have……. but I don”t know where it is any more. Memories are slowly eroded by time and circumstance, and there is no longer the money to replace them, if indeed they can be replaced.

When the dust settles, you can hear others” stories and how “you should have” …. and “he should have never”….. and “if only you had known to ask for….”. No matter how tired, exhausted, angry, tearful or shamed, you should not settle your divorce property without experienced help from a lawyer. They are not emotional about it. They are not going home crying at night, or worried that repercussions will happen for the kids or for you. They are able by a glance or a look to assure the other side that this offer is or is not acceptable, and therefore justice can/cannot be done that way. They know the law, which you do not (no matter what your friends tell you their lawyer said) and they know how things should be divided under the law.

Unless there is no property to divide, and no kids to provide for, do-it-yourself divorce is nearly akin to DIY brain surgery; you need to be online slots asleep to escape the pain and asleep you cannot get a good result. So get someone else to do it for you.

It is often heard that the lawyers will screw you in legal fees. But they won”t screw you half as much as a nasty soon-to-be-ex spouse will. Bitterness is not a good companion for Fairness.

Having said that lawyers should be selected on the basis of trust, i..e. how much YOU feel you can trust them, instinctively, not how angry they can get on your behalf! Angry lawyers are as much use as torn toilet paper, they are found to have holes all over them or their arguments. Calm, thoughtful, reassuring advice is what you need, from someone stronger than you who can face the enemy with understated strength and determination, not raised voices. “He who shouts first, loses”.

Women are sometimes goaded into going to lady lawyers who behave like washer-women in court, on the assumption that this behaviour wins the day. Courts are not so stupid. They know a good point when they hear it, no matter who it comes from. But the courts and judges generally are often put off by superior attitudes, and angry counsel.So, don”t do it yourself if you feel “beaten up””. See an experienced lawyer, do a deal on costs, and let them at the enemy. That way you get to sleep at night and can minimise the damage to your self-esteem. Believe me, your self-esteem will need all the help it can get, so don”t be responsible for any more damage than is absolutely necessary. After all, if the lawyer is being too tough, you can always play Lady Bountiful and gracefully call off the hounds by conceding anything which is not important to you. It won”t feel like losing a point, more like being the lady you are!

I have been watching Dr Zhivago, again after very many years. Like so many, I have visual memories of the film: rough trains taking the people to the ice-bound snows where Dr Z encounters his lost love…. All very cinematically wonderful. But it got me thinking about Omar Sharif (not hard) and the general tendency of men to find ‘irresistible attraction’ in the face, eyes and arms of other women. Primitive people’s had a vague policy, it seems from what little we know, of preserving the family unit for reasons of wealth and progeny, rather than monogamism. Having ‘one true love’ is a romantic notion developed in Victorian times, finding echoes in swans and other beasts who mate for life. As a woman raised in that monogamous culture, I have always found infidelity in my friends amusing and dangerous (like snakes) and in my own spouses intolerable!

But what are we to think of a man who, following the biological imperative, finds fascination in the eyes of two different women? Somehow it is more threatening to the spouse to find she has a single competitor than multiple one-night liaisons. Or at least that is my view. (Bonk-and-go raises issues of disease and pregnancy but hardly threatens the home unless he spends millions on his besotted.)

In a world where women out-number men by almost 2 to1, the cultural conditioning can be seen most obviously in retirement villages and nursing homes where men are pursued avidly by women who should know better! Long gone are the days when strong men on big white horses (bank accounts) appear over the horizon to protect us from ruin. Mostly they are old ruees (look it up!) who want someone to give them one last orgasm to send them to the stars and the moon, and the sun if possible!! Haha! As if.

Do I sound bitter? No, I sound realistic. The real hero of Dr Zhivago is the wife. She recognises the important role that Lara plays in her husband’s life, and even survival in the ice and snow of Winter in Russia. She uses the love that Lara has to let her husband (Omar-of-the-huge-moustache) know that she has another baby and they are ok. Now THAT is some kinda saint right there!

I know of a lovely woman in her 80 s who took her dying husband back after he had left her for a floozie, and nursed him til his death. Lest you think she is a saint…no, she was a very attractive woman who had ‘other interests’ in the interim, but whose husband did a Zhivago and formed a deep relationship with another woman.but he came home to due. Thanks Very Much!! What are we women to do?! Destroying trust eats away at the foundations of a relationship and cannot be re overhead without total reconstruction of the scaffolding of trust. It’s not impossible, but it is very difficult.

So, what’s the point, Maura?? The point is probably that life and love are not in our control. We learn what we need to learn….. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we heard it all before.

BUT… what if…. we are here to learn…. And here to get wise…. And here to understand our human AND spiritual natures…? Not just women, but maybe men also need to learn the effects of simply following their biological imperatives. Maybe following the ‘script’ we laid out for ourselves before we had this incarnation has merit we can’t see yet. Follow that, with all its narrow corridors and paths so it can take us..where we were meant to go in the first place.