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"Real L-Word" Girls Come Out

The Women of "The Real L-Word"

Ellen de Generes, Rachel Maddow, and Rosie O'Donnell may make "coming out" look easy from their powerful televised perches, but for many lesbians the process is still a struggle.

That was the case, to varying degrees, for the six California women featured in Showtime's new reality series "the Real L Word."

The "L Word" girls shared their coming out stories with CBS News.

Credit: Showtime Networks

Tracy Ryerson, 29

"What most people don't realize is that coming out is a two-step process - first you come out to yourself and then to society," says Tracy Ryerson, who works in the film industry and projects a wholesome image.

"At 26, I met a girl, who, even though she was wearing a matching argyle socks and vest ensemble, held my attention," she remembers. Eventually, a "light bulb went off in my head, and I realized that I was gay."

Credit: Showtime Networks

Tracy Ryerson, 29

"A lot has happened between 1990 and today, and it is slowly becoming more acceptable to be gay. From the tragedy of Matthew Shepard (Wyoming teen tortured and left to die) to the triumph of Constance McMillen (Mississippi teen who sued her school to bring her girlfriend to the prom) have all helped to pave the way for others to come out."

Credit: Showtime

Jill Sloane Goldstein, 33

"I never quite had a solid epiphany about my sexual orientation," says Jill Sloan Goldstein, a writer originally from New Jersey. "I had dated men most of my adult life. I did, however, fill my world with some very unique and special female relationships along the way, in which the emotional bond was stronger than one might deem appropriate for a friendship."

She had a secret affair with a woman, she tells CBS News, but was confused because she "hadn't lost my attraction to or interest in men."

She used to fear being labeled "by society," - a fear she no longer has, now that she has found true love in co-star Nikki Weiss.

Credit: Showtime Networks

Jill Sloane Goldstein, 33

"I remained unsure about my sexual identity because traditional labels didn't seem to fit my experiences," says Goldstein. "I was falling in love with individuals - based on emotional, intellectual and physical connections and gender preference seemed to take a back seat."

"By this point, I still hadn't 'come out' but did begin to grow more honest and proud of my open-mindedness, my sexual fluidity. Then I met my fiancee, an amazing woman with whom I'd spend the rest of my life," she gushes. "Being with her was the first time I wanted to shout about my love from the rooftop. Society will label me what they will, I am in a gay relationship. All I know is that I found the person of my dreams and I no longer struggle with what to call my orientation."

Credit: Showtime Networks

Nikki Weiss, 37

"In college I was in love with my roommate, but it was one of those things that you kept to yourself," says Nikki Weiss, who manages A-List Hollywood talent and was married to a man at 22.

Weiss had no idea "who she was" until she found herself attracted to a "very confident, sexy, out lesbian."

Weiss told herself she wasn't really cheating because her love affair was with a woman. "In retrospect, how very selfish of me," she says.

But after that I "knew I was gay and I struggled for a year to come to terms with it, hurting my husband terribly with lies and deceit," she says. "I loved myself enough to live an honest life, and I loved him enough to let him go to do the same."

Credit: Showtime

Nikki Weiss, 37

"It was 1997 when I came to terms with my sexuality which is such a different time than today," continues Weiss. "There were few role models, few 'out' musicians, actors, TV personalities. There wasn't much representation of many gay characters on television. Ellen hadn't even come out yet. If the scripted series, 'THE L WORD,' was on during the time I was struggling, it would have been so much easier to understand my feelings, to reconcile them sooner, to ask questions, to relate to someone's story, to be less fearful of what it meant to be a gay woman. I don't define myself by my sexuality, it only happens to be one part of who I am, but a part that I am very proud of to this day."

Credit: Showtime Networks

Rose Garcia, 35

"My coming out story was a great one," says Rose Garcia, a real estate broker. "When I was 19 I confided in my best friend. She told me she always knew. I wanted to tell my mother but feared my Puerto Rican Catholic family would disown me."

"My friend called my mother to 'out' me, she says." To my surprise my mother said she had a feeling (that I was a lesbian). She said I had her full support and that if anyone in the family didn't, it was their loss."

Credit: Showtime Networks

Rose Garcia, 35

"I came out in 1993, and I have to tell you that in 2010 it's definitely more accepting," she says. "LGBT public figures and shows like (the original drama) 'The L Word,' 'Queer as Folk,' and 'Modern Family' give our community a face and voice. It gives our youth something to identify with."

Credit: Showtime Networks

Whitney Mixter, 27

"I was very fortunate to grow up in an accepting family," says Whitney Mixter, a special effects artist. "I was always told by my mother, 'I don't care if they're black, white, or polka dotted, as long as they make you happy.'"

"My coming out really just broke down to me bringing a girl home one day instead of a boy," she says. "Removing the boundaries of who I can love allowed me to really own my sexuality at a young age. Feeling confident and matter-of-fact about that transferred over into my life as a whole."

Credit: Showtime Networks

Whitney Mixter, 27

"Do I think as a whole within the country it's easier to come out now than in the 90's? Yes, however I do think there are some catches," Mixter says. "Due to an increase of visibility, I think people now view sexuality as only a part of a person as opposed to something that defines them. There is a flip side, though. Certain conservative communities are feeling challenged and therefore lashing out. This makes coming out much more difficult and sometimes more dangerous for some. The suicide rate among GLBT youth is evidence that, unfortunately, coming out is not universally easy."

Credit: Showtime Networks

Mikey Koffman, 35

"Coming out was rather easy, as I have never cared what others thought of me," says Mikey Koffman, a 35-year-old producer in the fashion industry with an extremely hot temper.

"Although I was raised Catholic and attended private school for the majority of my youth, I have been on my own financially since the age of 17," she says. "I was never been very close with my family, so I did not give them a chance to have an opinion about my sexuality."

Credit: Showtime Networks

Mikey Koffman, 35

"Difference between coming out in the 90's vs. today?" reflects Koffman. "As time goes on the world progresses and becomes a little more accepting," she says. "The bottom line is that there have been and there always will be humans that are attracted to members of the same sex, and this world would be a much better place if all of humanity would accept that fact."