A darker shade of Orange

To paraphrase writer Robyn Davidson, I am preparing to detonate a bomb where I am standing. Sometimes, she advises, this is necessary.

I promised myself a year in Orange, a place I remembered for its beauty, to see how it would compare to life in the city. Melbourne has changed since my early years there. It is bigger, grubbier, harder. So, I thought, why not try a year in the country?

The summer here was so hot I sat broiling in my west-facing house with the fan set on high for months.

Then came autumn.

Orange in the autumn is a place so lovely you cannot look wide enough, long enough, fast enough. Every day it seemed the leaves of the trees had changed.

Sometimes, the reds were so brilliant I would stumble on the footpath because I was forever gazing upwards trying to decide what shade of red is that? Vermillion, sangria, magenta?

On the overcast days, the gold leaves span a wild music and I joined with children in holding out my hands to catch them floating down on the breeze, each leaf a singular note of lament of the sad and inevitable and beautiful time of 'unleaving'.

In winter, I ran about in bare feet trying to catch snowflakes. I looked at the patterns of the bare branches of trees against the sky. I curled up in cafes writing.

But Orange is also conservative... and can be cold to newcomers.

“Don’t talk to the arty people,” I was told by one woman.

“Don’t join the cinema group, they show foreign movies,” said another.

I introduced myself to the widow living alone next door. She told me she had a strict policy of not speaking to neighbours. Had not done so for twenty-six years and was not going to start now.

When I tried to join the local church choir, somehow it was mentioned that I had studied for a degree in Sydney.

“We don’t want you university types here,” I was told.

I have spent most of my time walking with my dog Sam and writing and reading, reading, reading.

Like me, Sam loves the autumn leaves, jumping in the biggest piles of them he can find, his little face full of joy as I pick up bundles of them and throw them over him. But he had also loved our treks to the village in Yarraville, lying on the pavement watching the passers-by as I chatted over coffee and the lady who ran the café feeding him Portuguese tart.

I miss my crazy friends and the easy tolerance of difference that the city allows. I miss people greeting me in the street after I had lived there only two weeks.

So, right now I am preparing to go home because I miss my own people, my tribe. And my tribe belongs to that sometimes grubby, dirty, noisy, wonderful big city in the south.

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Comments

Fifi

Lovely story but sad to hear you met so many unhappy biased people in Orange. I have met lots of wonderful, friendly, happy people in regional areas. It's great you could enjoy the great things about Orange and return to the city you love.

Emily Bissland

This is a really great story and a perspective you don't often hear about moving to a regional town. Well written too!

Suzanne

Thank you everyone who has contributed a comment here, it's great that there is such a diversity of experiences amongst us all! I had actually lived in Bathurst for two years a long, long time ago but worked in Orange and loved it here, hence the trial of living in Orange. As I said to Luke Wong, I think the difficulties are not just with moving to another town but also the difficulties of fitting in once you are middle aged and single (I was much younger when I was here before). If people are interested, there is a terrific website about how to survive moving to a small town, which has people from as far afield as Norway making comments about their move from city to country (just type into Google "how to survive moving to a small country town" and you'll find heaps of stuff). There is also an article I would recommend to everyone which was first published on Salon.com, entitled "The plight of the single, middle aged woman in Smalltown" which you can find just by Googling the title - a woman college professor who moved to small town America, she is funny and perceptive about the problems faced by a single mature woman in a new environment.
Alexandra, I'll look up that link that you I am somewhat technologically challenged when it comes to computers!
Thank you all for expressing such an interesting and rich mix of experiences with me. It's terrific to read of all your experiences both positive and less positive.

Bev

Nature grounds you. Nurtures you. Yet as sociable beings we need more. Friendship. A sense of belonging. Without that isolation seeps through. And comments from strangers can resonate louder when a friend is not there to lean on. Remember, that's all they are strangers.
When I made the journey over the sandstone wall, I felt the same. It's been over 10 years now. I've grown and changed. I am more resilient now. I now listen with empathy and try to understand why strangers can be unkind. For instance, your elderly neighbour sounds frightened. Did you ask her the reason why she doesn't talk to neighbours?
From my own experience, everything takes time. I wish you the very best in your next chapter of your life. May it bring you peace, love and hope

Sue

I have felt the cold shoulder of new places, and sometimes it is just a matter of finding your niche, sorry to hear you couldn't find that in Orange, because the entire Central West has some amazing things to offer.

Vanessa Vazquez

Suzanne, I'm a Sydney city slicker and have not long lived in Orange. Tree changes are never easy and as an adult, befriending people is so difficult and so intrinsic to a sense of belonging. I hope our paths cross before you move back home. I share your passion for Orange's glorious four seasons, writing and cafe society.

Andrew

Thanks for your honesty Suzanne. Having recently moved to Wellington in January this year, I can understand your situation. It's difficult if you haven't got a good group of people to get involved with in a new town. I'm sorry the church choir wasn't very inviting. I'm lucky I have found a great church community in Wellington and I am loving it here. But I never really was a city person anyway.

Helen Allen

I'm too am sorry Suzanne that you've had a less than pleasant experience. My experience was very different when moving to Orange. I found many new friends and felt accepted. I'm sorry our paths haven't crossed. As Vicky said there are some really lovely people here - I just wish you encountered them. Wishing you all the best.

Stewart

Brilliant.I lived in Orange 33 years ago for 12months.I guess things haven't changed.The reason I got at the time was there was less of a transient population in Orange than other centres.Other places can be worse.All part of your journey.all the best.Stewart

Mel

I find it hard to believe that someone would make that comment about "university types" there is a university in Orange! Hope you joined the cinema group, a chance to meet like minded people by the sound of it.
In all of our smaller cities the population isn't grouped into suburbs like in the capitals. Hence you are more likely to come across those with differing opinions to yours. You just have to seek out groups who share your interests.

Dontgetinvolved

It is a thing peculiar to country towns and the smaller they are the more noticeable it is. We moved out west from Sydney many years ago and have lived in several different smaller towns since. Our experience has been that you are expected to conform to the local's way including their mindset, don't rock their boat and dont attempt to contribute unless invited. Some wonderful people but small town attitudes.

Coralie Chapman

I also lived in Melbourne but I grew up in Mt Macedon. I do agree with you Suzanne it can be very hard to fit in here. I was lucky that I started in Parkes made some amazing friends and them met my husband. Through him I was lucky to make some friends but like you I always smile at people while walking down the street and most people not all just look the other way. It's sad as Orange is a beautiful place but like you said it can be colder than the colest day in this town. I hope you enjoy the rest of your time here in Orange.

Diane Alexander

So sad that the negative amongst some Orange locals has forced you to want to leave. Unfortunately, there are those among us who are not terribly welcoming! A pity you didn't meet more positive people while here.

Alexandra Wiseman

Suzanne, I understand completely. We've lived here four years and still don't feel like "locals". I'll comment on ABC Central West FB post (where I saw the link to here) and you are welcome to PM me if you need a friend for your remaining time here...

Alison

Beautiful Suzanne, hope you find your way home soon, but enjoy the orange for now.

Suzanne Dunkerley

Thanks Vickie for your comment. In my first draft I actually mentioned I knew there were nice people here and just wished I could meet them more easily, but this had to be cut to fit the word length! Cheers from Suzanne!

Vickie Walker

I am sorry we were not more welcoming to you in Orange. There are some truly lovely people here.

Luke Wong

Thanks for contributing your story Suzanne, I look forward to reading more of your writing in the future.