In my childhood I was religious, but as I have started to grow up, my life was not good, I developed social anxiety, and my life situation in general was depressed. I began to ask, why this happens to me even that I'm good with god more than most of other people, so I started to question my religion.

In the last few years I knew about Eckhart Teachings. In a way, his teachings do match a lot of the teachings that we have in Islam or even better in Sufism, maybe in a slight different way, but on the other side, in our books, there's what I could call an "exclusionary speech". It's like that this is the ultimate truth that everybody should follow!

Because my English is not good enough, I can't explain more about my confusion, but this is important to me, I want to feel like I'm on the right track. So, hopefully you get the idea. And I'll be happy to hear your opinions.

At the core of most religions are wonderful pointers to the truth of what you are. For example from the bible, "I am that I am." This simplicity has a lot of power to cut through illusion but is almost too simple for consideration.

There is a dynamic in organized religions that has evolved over time introducing some confusing notions that asks one to forego one's own authority, one's own investigation for a different sort of unhelpful dynamic, namely that one assumes that one does not know the truth, that the truth is in such and such words that requires some explanation, that faith in a future point of time is required.

But this is a distraction because a description of reality is never reality itself. And the core of the religion says that you are the reality itself.

Teachers like Ramana Maharshi say, "find out," because he knows the truth is within you.

The anxiety indicates that there are thoughts identified with that aren't true. They have been long digested into the body and it has become reflexive because the description has been taken as the truth, when it is just a description. But it is no matter, that experience and the whole world appears to what you are.

It can be helpful to see what it is like to live 'not knowing', so see what it is like to be done with any thought or idea. See the seeing unbiased by thought. Who's awareness sees you?

Anthony DeMello tells a story about religion. The story goes there is a person who brings fire to a people. It is given freely. Everyone is warm. Some leaders kills him, extinguish the fire make a statue of the person and build a religion around his story. "Where is the fire?", he asks.

Do the yellow-rose petals
tremble and fall
at the rapid's roar?
- Basho

Attention wrote:In my childhood I was religious, but as I have started to grow up, my life was not good, I developed social anxiety, and my life situation in general was depressed. I began to ask, why this happens to me even that I'm good with god more than most of other people, so I started to question my religion.

To the degree you see God as something separate from what you are you will miss the true nature of God/Source. Religions, for the most part, thrive in this separation. Most religions have buried in their teachings that God is All. Rarely do they teach overtly the true implication and significance of this. If God is All then you and I are an aspect or extension of God. God is Source. You and I then, must be Source expressed in human form.

It's good to question one's religion. It's a kindergarten of sorts, run by teachers who have a vested interest in keeping you in the classroom. Nothing is inherently wrong in all of this, it's just one way to live a life that is an exploration of the physical human experience. It all has value in the greater perspective, it's just that some experiences are less fun and more challenging than others. One of the great gifts of the experience however is that we can consider circumstances and meanings and choose a different way, one more of our own choosing.

On a more basic level relating to social anxiety, I would suggest that it would be helpful to spend less time thinking of yourself and your concerns, and spend more time and energy exploring and observing the world and people around you. Not in a judgmental right vs wrong kind of way, but in an interest in how life unfolds. The more you think of yourself in terms of what others may think, the more social anxiety will prevail in your experience. Focus on having fun and enjoying how people are and life is. There is no real right or wrong accept in our own judgment. Remember, All is God and serves a purpose toward the evolution of Consciousness and Being.