8 Tips for a Happy and Healthy Marriage

byTonyaonJuly 20, 2010

I just saw a report on ABC news suggesting that divorce is contagious. I know, it sounds absurd, but researchers found in a study that being friends with a divorced person makes you 147% more likely to get one too. The study also found that persons with a divorced sibling are 22% more likely to get a divorce. Click here to read more about the ABC news report and the research study.

It’s sad that almost 50% of marriages end up in divorce. Married couples have to spend time investing into their marriage to make it work. It takes more than love and good looks. It requires commitment. It’s a little more challenging for military families, but it’s certainly possible to have a happy and healthy marriage while serving your country. Check out the tips below for a happy and healthy marriage!

Find good marriage role models. Listen to them share their stories and wisdom. It can be the couple at your church that has been married for 25 years or your next door neighbors that have been married for 5 years. Make sure that it is someone you respect and can take advice from.

Set aside a dedicated time for each other. In the hustle and bustle of life, we can get so busy that the only time we see our spouses is when it is time to go to bed. Make a point to eat dinner together most days of the week. Schedule a date night on a regular basis.

Make each other a priority. Never let your spouse feel like they come second place to your career or any other thing. Your spouse has to feel like they matter to you. Use random acts of kindness and romance to show your spouse how much they mean to you.

Make plans for the future together. Talk about your dreams and aspirations. Be supportive of each other and dream big together!

Pray and attend church together. The family that prays together stays together!

Speak well of your spouse. Don’t be so quick to tell other people about your spouse’s shortcomings. It can come back and bite you later.

Maintain a united front. My husband and I have a motto: “Me and you against the world.” That is our pact and we’re sticking with it. Being a united front is especially important once you have children. Don’t let your children divide and conquer. Talk about discipline for your children in advance.

Keep the spice going! Don’t get so complacent that you don’t spend time doing some of the things that you did to get them in the first place. Ladies – take those rollers out of your hair and dress nice for your man! Men – be spontaneous and take your wife out on a hot date every once in a while. Keeping the spice in your relationship definitely has its benefits! 🙂

great list … my husband and i thanked the Lord for 10 years this year … this list … http://www.chroniclesofmomia.com/ten-ways-to-keep-joy-in-marriage/ … was my own compilation of things that have been helpful to me or lessons the Lord has taught me over the years. really so much comes down to prayer and realizing … we can’t fix it. or make it or keep it. but God can. and He can do it in us. 🙂

The relationship my husband and I have is not going very well at all, and hasn’t for a while. I do know the front-lying cause is because he is not a Christian. He is angry at God for everything (if he even believes in Him). I want my marriage to work and have been praying for his salvation for three and a half years. Unfortunately, I feel like I’ve hit my breaking point. There is so much negativity from him. No matter how many hours I spend cleaning the house… and the yard, he is never satisfied and says that I am lazy. But most importantly, he is into unGodly, immoral sexual things. Not just the too common “husband-liking-porn” aspect but he has asked on MANY MANY MANY occasions, that I act his “fantasies” out by adding other people into our sex life. Of course, as a God loving Christian, Mom, and MORAL person, I have always stood my ground!! And every time he brings it up, he calls me a “Sex Nazi”, gets very defensive, and has a huge attitude and anger prorblem with me. I do not know if he has ever cheated on me, and I know the bible says a marriage may only be broken if Adultry has occured. But I do not know how much more of his Ungodliness I can take…. Please, can anyone tell me if it would be okay, in God’s eyes, if I leave him for this?

My husband is in the military and I understand he’s tired and he stresses about many things. However, I feel that he spends too much time worrying about things than considering my feelings. I feel lost, depressed, and alone. I am a stay-at-home wife and his best cheerleader. I support him in all of his decisions. Before he entered the Army, we had amazing communication; if one of us did something that the other didn’t like, the other would respect it and we would make a compromise. But now, it seems like I’ve been replaced by Army buddies and an XBOX. I wait for him all day and get super excited when he comes home (if you picture a puppy ecstatic to see her owner, that’s me) only to welcome a husband that takes off his uniform, leaves it anywhere he pleases, complains about work, sits on the couch and plays XBOX until his dinner is ready. I don’t understand. It has been this way for a few months now and I had been patient and considerate of his feelings but recently I began to voice MY opinions and feelings and he just does not want to hear what I have to say. We argue alot now. We are hardly intimate, he makes time to be with him friends and not with me. A part of me feels selfish but if I don’t consider my happiness, then who will. I have tried to keep faith but my frustration and unhappiness is blinding. I’ve began thinking thoughts I never would even consider. Any advice? I need something… I need the man I married back….

This is a great post with lots of sound advice. Many marriages falter because partners do not always understand what a Christian marriage entails and drift into things too lightly. We must educate our own children not to make these mistakes.

Amen David! You are so right about teaching children about marriage. For those of us that are married with children, we need to be good marriage role models. Have a great day and thanks for stopping by my blog!

Great pointers. I love them all. Making him a priority is a major one for me. I check myself on that one. Does he know I put him first? If not, how do I let him know it. Making plans is also a big piece of us. (Well, technically, I ask him a bunch of questions and make plans based on his responses. Bring back suggestions and he give the thumbs up or down, he isn’t much into the technical aspects of planning, lol). Great post.

Thanks for stopping by my blog! As a woman who never wanted a husband (reformed gun-toting feminist), I am eternally grateful that the good Lord had other plans for me. Your list of 8 sings right on key! Take care and all the best with your blog and the 31-day challenge!

SO TRUE!! I am not sure what I think about that “study” by ABC-I mean, we can’t just all dump our divorced friends. BUT, I do love your pointers-so so true and I am so thankful my husband and I had wise people to tell us these things before we got married!

Great list. My husband and I have been married for 8 years. Communication is key. Date nights, a weekend away. Making time for each other. I think having counseling after being married is good as well. Premarital counseling is good, but you don’t know what it’s really like until you’ve been married for awhile.

These are wonderful tips. My husband and I have also discovered that a certain amount of silliness is required for a healthy marriage. The hardest thing for me has been communication. I’ve learned a lot about how to listen in the last 4 years.

I like your list. I however fall into the category of being divorced. I NEVER thought in a million years I would end up in that category, BUT I did. If there’s one thing I would add, it would be this – be WILLING to Change. It’s so important to understand and RECEIVE from your spouse. As we grow we change – properly communicating our needs to our spouse is one thing, but receiving what our spouse says and being willing to make adjustments is crucial.

Thanks for the reminders. I am happily REMARRIED and grateful to our forgiving, gracious, merciful Lord!!

That is so true! We can’t think that we are right ALL of the time. Everyone can use a little tweeking here and there. Thanks so much for sharing and I’m glad that you found happiness the second time around! 🙂 I’m going to check out your list post too. Thanks for stopping by today.

I loved this post! Everyone needs to read it. Marriages fall apart every day! My neighbors told me yesterday they are getting divorced. I never saw it coming. Now I need to get off the computer & go spend some time with my man!