election

Read the label closely on this bottled up thread of booze-minded, politically-fueled goodness: many of these games are guaranteed to give your tolerance for the alcohol a solid run, all the while pulverizing your liver. And hey, maybe that's exactly what some of us find ourselves hopelessly looking for as we stare out at the abyss of what some might call the 'death of the American Dream', while others see hope and promise. I don't know. Let's hoist a glass either way and enjoy the circus.

Part of me right now is harboring the gut kind of instinct that the Donald had to have knowingly stirred the pot of chaos on this one. I mean dude, not only is this the wrong Ivanka, but she's evidently an outspoken environmentalist. See for yourself with the tweet she decided to respond back with after DJ Trump's original botched attempt to touch base with the wifey on Twitter:

If you live in the United States, you have a new president. The people have spoken, and they said that billionaire, reality TV-show host Donald Trump is how they want to ride out the next four years.

Look, this was a divisive election, and a very close one at that. As has been said many times, this wasn’t necessarily the time for a protest vote for, say, Jill Stein or Gary Johnson, but that doesn’t mean the Internet can’t find another third-party spoiler to bring America to its logical conclusion and elect a billionaire, reality TV-show host.

The Internet, because its nothing if not predictable, chose a new candidate: Dead-gorilla turned confusing-meme, Harambe.That’s right, the gorilla who was shot dead after a child fell into his pen at the zoo received 11,000 votes in last night’s election. And that’s how game-show hosts are elected president, when people write in memes to be president.

So there you have it, folks. Reality TV-show host is president, and I am now this Tweet:

The internet has come up with a brand new meme in light of footage of Donald Trump craning his neck over the voting booths to check his wife Melania's ballot. Possibly because everyone has a lot of time on their hands while they wait in insanely long voting lines.