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Liquid unveil new female team

Late last night, Team Liquid posted a statement on their Twitter page, announcing that they are disbanding their CS:GO roster and creating their own female team, instead.

After a controversial campaign from players of the female CS scene, new legislations brought in from Valve have made female teams earn the same amount as males in their new tournaments and Liquid have announced that they are making a business decision to remove the penises of all of the current Team Liquid players, so they are able to play in the upcoming World Championships, where the World Champion (of women) will be fought over.

“It was a tough decision to make,” Pimp, now known as Pippa, told Global Defensive, “But we want to make sure that we are winning as much as possible and this is the best way of doing so.”

Amidst backlash from /r/globaloffensive, Hiko (now wishing to be known as Hilda) told Global Defensive that: “I don’t think it’s too bad. These people are arguing that it’s unfair to give females their own tournaments because they’re sub-par, yet they’re alright with there being a North American version of the ESL Pro League.”

However, it appears they have jumped the ship too early as MissHarvey is set to reveal the “World Championships for Non-Binary CS:GO Players” later today, which is sure to attract a whole new set of great talent to the CS:GO scene.