Wednesday, July 29, 2009

This week's Spin Cycle is all about friends. But before you break into the Dionne Warwick (which will make me kick you off my page...) head over to see Sprite's Keeper for some other friendly spins: http://www.spriteskeeper.com/

And now we spin:

When I was little I went almost everywhere with my Mom. Shopping, the hair dresser, visiting friends for coffee, you name it and she took me along. I suspect that it was mostly because she had no where to leave me. And so, we were very close. And it stayed that way for the 17 years we had together. Even after I was old enough to stay at home by myself, it was just natural to get in the car and go with her. When she got sick and couldn't drive anymore, we just changed seats in the car. Now instead of her taking me, I took her.

Sure we had our ups and downs, and I'm not going to fake that I told her everything and we painted each others nails. But she really was my best friend, as well as my Mom. Don't get me wrong, she had the authority. But we weren't like most of my friends, who's Moms were the enemy. We were always there for each other. When my Dad lost his job in sketchy circumstances, she confided that she wasn't sure his boss was at all wrong. And I understood her point. When she lost her hair during chemotherapy, we cried together and made plans for the super wig we'd buy. When my friends turned on my over a "stupid" boy, she made me a cheese cake and we ate it together. I had a "best friend" through most of elementary and high school, but she was never closer to me than my Mom.

I'd love to go into how it effected me when she passed, but I can't. There just aren't words. She stopped suffering, and we'll leave it at that.

These days I know she's watching, though. As I drag LG out of his car seat, and talk our way through grocery shopping. Or let him hold the dust pan while I sweep up his lunch mess. He's my little shadow. And when he's not around (when PB takes him for an errand, or he's napping) I get kind of lonely. I feel like something is missing. I know, I need my own identity, blah, blah, blah. But I like having him around. He's my pal.

When he wakes up in the middle of the night, I have no problem snuggling him back to sleep. It's during those middle of the night snuggles that I can tell him anything I want. Heck, he won't repeat it, right? And he listens, without hurrying off to do something else, or interjecting his opinion.

I know this won't last. But I'm hoping that he'll continue to want to hang out with me long after he stops having to hang out with me. Hopefully I'll be just that cool. But that won't make him a Mama's boy. Yeah, where's the line there, huh?

I can hear my Mom laughing at me when LG does something that I used to do. And I hear her voice saying, "May God bless you with kids just like you..." And I think he did. And I'm ok with that. I hope she would be too.

Man, this is one sappy post. Not my usual snark, huh? Sorry if I disappointed. I promise, the Snark will return in time for CaJoh's Friday Feast. Or at least by Random Tuesday Thoughts.

And to start the random, we'll explain the title... LG is transitioning up to the next room at school. From a "Lady bug" to a "Sweet Pea" (or an infant to a toddler, for those who don't use the garden comparison). In some ways this is very good for us. He'll finally be in a room that is centered around the things he can do (walk, feed himself, drink with sippy, nap once a day) instead of a room that was just trying to keep him from killing the babies. The next room is from 18 mo to 24 mo, so all the kids will be of about the same ability, instead of the wide variety of the infant room. All good for him. I'm sure he'll have a great time. His first day went well (he spent about 2 hours there). But it does make me sad. He is officially not a baby anymore. He's a little boy. Not that this was the only clue, but this was the last vestige, I think. Sigh.

But who wants to think about that? Instead I bring you my commute quandary. On my way into work, there is a potentially homeless man that sits right at the end of the exit ramp. Just from looking at him, I think he might have some special needs (remember the black guy from "Green Mile"? He looks just like him.) Anyhow, I'm not sure why he sits there. Once or twice I've seen people offer him money, but he always flags them off. He never holds a sign or anything. On sunny days he wears a hat, and a raincoat in the rain. He usually is holding a cup of coffee. Someone obviously helps him out. Weird, huh? Now, to add to that, on my commute home there is a young fellow in a wheel chair who sits on the corner sidewalk just before the on-ramp. He clearly has special needs, but again, isn't asking for money. He's only there on nice days (it's a powered wheel chair, you wouldn't want that to get ruined in the rain, I don't think). Again, though, why? The second guy obviously gets some help even getting to his location. The first guy could possibly get there himself (but the coffee and his attire lead me to believe he's getting assistance, too). But where are they from? And why sit next to the highway ramps? Does someone bring them there? Do they have homes? All things I spend my commute wondering. Great, huh?

Let's talk about Ohio being in the mid-west for a second. Because it bothers me to no end. If you take a look at a map (which I tried to upload for you, but I'm having troubles), you will notice that there is a "line" almost down the middle of the country. Between say North Dakota/Minnesota and running down between Texas and Louisiana. Now look at where Ohio is on the map. Clearly on the Eastern side of that line. Not in the West at all, never mind the middle of the west... You might even observe that Ohio is in the middle of the Eastern portion of the US. So, why the hell do people here think they are Mid-westerners??? Do they not teach geography in this state? Or are they so desperate for an identity that the cling to who ever might accept them (at which point, you understand, the Mid-Westerners were too polite to say no)? It kills me. Want to call your self the heartland? Go ahead, Ohio is approx. where the heart would go in the country. But Mid-West? Nope, not accepting it.

Onward, as if I focus on that too much, I might have to move back to NY...

LG's latest trick is to give kisses. Not to just anyone, only his special girls (me, Miss M, Miss N, you know, the pretty girls) and on occasion PB. And it's really cute. Except he hasn't really learned to keep his mouth shut, so you sort of get licked instead of kissed. It's still cute, though. I'll take what I can get. His other new habit is to run around the living room full speed and then come crashing into your lap. That's fun, too. Yeah. Fun.

Anyhow, that's about all I have for today, I think. Not too much going on over here. And that's not a bad thing... I will leave you with the lyrics to the latest Kenny Chesney/Dave Matthews song, since they seem to have a lot of meaning these days:

(Chesney)So damn easy to say that life's so hardEverybody's got their share of battle scarsAs for me, I'd like to thank my lucky stars that I'm alive and well...It'd be easy to add up all the painAnd all the dreams you sat and watched go up in flamesDwell on the wreckage as it smolders in the rainBut not me...I'm aliveAnd today you know that's good enough for meBreathin' in and out's a blessing can't you seeToday's the first day of the rest of my life and I'm aliveAnd well...I'm alive and well(Dave Matthews)The stars are dancin' on the water here tonightIt's gonna fall a soul when there's not a soul in sightThis boat has caught its wind and brought me back to lifenow I'm alive and well

Thursday, July 23, 2009

This week I'm going to dabble in something new. Ca-Joh's Friday Feast. If I get this right, he throws out a topic about food and we blog on it to our heart's content. What drew me to this was last weeks topic: hot dogs. Mmmm, that lovely summertime treat. I could go on and on. Then I looked at this weeks topic: Ice cream. I could go on and on. Which made me realize that maybe I want in on this fun. And Ca-Joh seemed ok with me hooching in on the fun. So here goes:

It is about 9 minutes, but it's a hilarious Eddie Murphy stand up, in which he talks about kids and the ice cream truck. Prepare to laugh so hard that you burn enough calories to go get that Fudgesicle you've been craving since May.

On to other cold, creamy topics. (oh, god, where to start? I really could go on all day!)

Here in Cleveland, there are a host of ice cream options. It's actually quite impressive the choices you have for ice cream.

There are your standard ice cream options that you can find anywhere. These are your Friendly's, Dairy Queen, ice cream truck, grocery store options. All very nice if you need a reliable fix.

Then they have quite a few of those Mom and Pop stands. You know, the King Cone, or Mr. Snowman type places. These are the places where a teenager stands at a window, and you go up and place your order for soft serve, or a sundae or shake. They usually have a few Good Humor products, and slushies, too. I have to say, I love these places because they remind me of being a kid. We had one in my home town. I can remember driving there after dinner in the summer and ordering a vanilla soft serve with Cherry Dip. Mmmm. Ok, I'll admit that I still get that if we go to a stand type establishment (and I still make a freaking mess of myself, thank you). They're quick, relatively cheap and make me happy.

Cleveland is apparently also know for its Custard. If you haven't had frozen custard (and I hadn't until I moved here), it's a lot like soft serve, only thicker. It's good every once in a while. It's sort of middle of the road for price.

Then there are a host of specialty shops, native only to Cleveland, I believe. We have a place called "Honey Hut". And their ice cream (all hard ice cream) is made with honey. Some folks here are very loyal to this. Personally, I can take it or leave it. There are also two local chain scoop shops that have wonderful home made ice cream: Handel's and Mitchell's. You usually find that people are loyal to one or the other (I like Mitchell's, myself). These are the kind of places that make home made ice cream, offering scoops, sundae's and shakes. They come up with some great flavors, since it's all homemade. Sit down or take out. Always packed with people. It's kind of expensive, though, so all of these are pretty much a "treat" at our house.

I will admit, I am no ice cream snob. I will be just as happy with a Fudgesicle as I will with a homemade scoop. Like I said, those cherry dips are one of my favorite treats. I don't prefer chocolate over vanilla, and don't have a "favorite" flavor. It's just that I kind of like them all. Flavors are like kids, I shouldn't have to choose a favorite.

And on that note, I'll sign off. I'm interested to see how this F2 thing works. Here's hoping, right?

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

If I read the original post correctly, this week was supposed to be a break from the Spin Cycle. Sprite's Keeper is headed to the windy city for a blogging thingy, and was giving us all the week off. However, the over-achievers in the group can't accept a hiatus. So they blogged. And now, as usual, I feel the need to follow like a freaking lemming. I'd better get extra credit for this...

I guess people have chosen the topic of "Vacation" to spin on, too. And I'm going to choose to steal Maureen (over at Island Roar)'s idea and blog about my favorite vacations past (again, lemming here people).

As a kid we always took two vacations. One was the "real" vacation. During this week, my parents would load us up into the station wagon and usually drive us to a southern beach. Florida, Virginia Beach, Ocean City Maryland, Myrtle Beach, you name it, we tried it. This was my Dad's ocean week. He'd try to squeek in something educational, but mostly this week was about getting a tan, building a castle in the sand, and letting the kids take sips from my Mom's fancy drink with the umbrella. Extra points for the hotels with a swim up cabana bar, as I recall.

There are a few things I can remember most about these trips. On the way down, I always got to sit all the way in the back, with the luggage. I'd stretch out and nap, or make faces at the drivers behind us. These days you'd be pulled over faster than you can say "car seat" for letting a kid ride back there.

I also remember having to wear a life jacket my Dad called a "Mae West" if I wanted to go into the ocean. (I'm not even sure they make these for public use anymore, what with all the "vest" type preservers out there). I was a tiny kid, and he was always concerned that I'd get caught in the undertow and drown before he could get to me. I was probably about 10 before let me stop wearing it. I now completely understand his paranoia. LG will wear his life jacket into the ocean long after he can swim well in the pool. I don't care if you can do the butterfly across the Olympic at the rec center, a kid under 75 lbs is no match for a roaring ocean.

For our second vacation, we always went up to Lake George. To the same place every year (http://www.scottysmotel.com/ - we'll throw them a little advertising...) And that's where my Mom really relaxed. It's in the middle of the Adirondacks, with the mountains and trees all around. It was close to home, and really quite a bit like the area we lived in. But she could go to the craft shops, and just hang out by the pool. There is a large amusement park up there, as well as a bunch of other little tourist attractions (think Last of the Mohicans). It's really kind of a nice place (and when I moved further upstate to go to college, I visited Lake George pretty regularly). I think Mom like this vacation more because we did less and spent more time together doing nothing (it was an outing to head into the village and partake of the local A&W drive in!). Oh, and she had really curly hair that the ocean air used to wreak havoc on...

I have to admit, I was quite sad the year my brother went off to college and for the first time in my life couldn't come on vacation with us. It was the end of an era. Together, the four us us had seen all 48 continental United States (my father took great pride in this, he would only count a state when we had done something memorable there). We'd seen great monuments, and visited little towns. Eaten all manner of critter, and come home with the sand in our shoes.

I don't think we ever ended up going on vacation all together after that. My Mom grew quite ill the year after, and she couldn't travel. My brother and Dad took a trip to Florida the year she passed away, and I now kick myself for deciding to stay home and hang out with my friends. It would have been my last trip to the beach with him. He, too, passed away shortly after that trip.

When LG gets another year or so under his belt, I'm hoping PB and I can make these kinds of memories for him. The kind that make you say, no matter their failings, or things they did that pissed me off, my parents were great. They were fun, and adventurous and really loved us kids.

Here's hoping that Sprite's Keeper has a safe and fun trip to the windy city, and you all are enjoying your summer! See you next week on The Spin Cycle.

Someone brought up a fine point about all this new health care reform being talked about. Uhm, the people making all these decisions for us? Yeah, they most likely will not be participating in any of these programs. Inevitably politicians will have some sort of deal worked in where their health care is going to be top of the line and they will get in first. Sort of like how they don't need social security because we pay them forever to do a job they retire from. Yeah, I feel good about this. How about you? Want to decrease the Federal Budget? Stop paying people who retired their full working salary and make them take a "pension" like the rest of us... I love the senators and congressmen who are blaming everyone else for leaching off the gov't (medicaid, ss), or running businesses into the ground (unions, bonuses) but refuse to look at their own transgressions in this area.

On to a touchier subject that's been bugging me for weeks. john demjanjuk. Yeah, the old man who was just deported to Germany to stand trial for war crimes. He is allegedly a former Nazi camp guard. He's being tried as an accessory to 29,000 murders. They tried him once before in Israel, for other crimes that were proven not to have been his. He returned to the US, and lived in Cleveland for many years. Bothering no one.

He is also dying. Drs have limited the time he can testify to two hours in the am and two in the pm. My question is: what does all of this prove? Who is getting any kind of satisfaction out of these proceedings? I understand, he may have done horrible things (or at least been witness to horrible things and done nothing to stop them). But, in the end, what is anyone getting out of this. John Demjanjuk is in no way a threat to anyone at this point. He's not propagating hate against the Jews now. He will most likely die before this trial is complete. So, why belabor the point? I've not met a Jewish person yet who feels that this will be retribution for the Holocaust. Is it a waste of time and money, then? Really, if you feel like this is a reasonable thing, please speak up. I just don't see it right now, though. I do believe that he's at the point where final justice will be meted out by someone far more omniscient than a judge and jury...

Holy cow. To quote Chris Rock, 'If you told me they had crack in them, I'd say, "Man, I knew there was something..."' They are wonderful. And fairly cheap ($2 a bag). And we can't seem to get enough of them. I've bought them each week for about 6 now, and they last until about Wednesday. Even LG can't get enough. (Actually, that's how I officially knew he was sick last week. He'd but one in his mouth, and then spit it out and cry. Very sad.) We'd highly recommend them. You know, if you need another fattening addiction and all.

We are officially off formula! Woo hoo. I've decided I don't care what the dr says. LG just doesn't want a bottle anymore (and no, he won't drink formula out of a sippy). I'm tired of making a 3 oz bottle at night, for him to drink 2 oz and push it away. He's clearly sending a message, and I'm going to abide by his wishes. Besides, it saves me a small boatload of money.

Ok, my brain is empty now. I almost feel like RTT is kind of like in Harry Potter, when Dumbledore takes thoughts from his mind and puts them into the Pensieve (sp?) for Harry to see. I just did that for you guys? I know, I'm a dork. I'll go now, and leave you to feel superior.

This weeks topic is routines. I'm going to get a little philosophical before I talk about our actual situation. I think a well organized family will always have a routine, much like a dance company does. Because in a lot of ways, they are the same. Just like the dancers need to know what the others will be doing so that they can make their moves appropriately, family members need to be able to predict what the others will do in order to get their stuff done. So, we all do a little choreography in order to make the final dance coherent and workable. And just like in dance, when one person is off, it throws everyone off. Imagine if a ballerina hurt an ankle and had to sit down on stage. You just went from Swan Lake to Duck Puddle. People have to dance around her, avoiding stepping on her. Same thing when one person in a family strays from the routine. That's not to say that life needs to be strictly regimented, it just needs a plan of some sort. You'll see what I mean in a second.

The routine topic is kind of appropriate for our house this week. Because the week has been a rough one. LG was sick, which throws all of us off of our routine. If he doesn't go to school, one of us stays home. He sleeps a lot, throwing off the nap-eating schedule. He just kind of wanders through the day, not really sure how it's supposed to go. Argh. LG is nothing if not a creature of habit. Those big brown eyes might look full of adventure, but they know that around 11:am, nothing but a grammie blanket and a binkie will do. And, like most kids, I think the people involved in his routine give him a sense of security. So, when he's sick and off his routine, I think that just makes it worse. Not only doesn't he feel well, but his clock and his sense of what happens next are thrown off -making him cranky.

I think PB and I are a little less specific routine oriented. I know there are people who must have their morning coffee, or take a shower at 6:am or what not. We're not really like that. I think we're more "plan" based. While most days our routine is the same, we're not completely thrown off if something changes. We just need to know how the change fits into what has to get accomplished. Neither of us takes the same route to work every day, or drinks a specific beverage at any time of day. It's just whatever works that day, or what we're in the mood for.

Any hoodle, enough from me. For those following, the week did get much better. I had LG with me on Wednesday, and we had a pretty good day. He got a haircut and some McNuggets, I got a rare nap in the day, and some extra snuggles in. He's definitely on the upswing from our most recent plague. And the good news is that there was really only one day of fussy eating, so we might not have lost all the weight we gained since we last checked in! woo hoo.

The kid is sick. Which throws our whole house into chaos. Because he's not one to be taken lightly on a regular day, never mind when he's not feeling well. Good times. Nobody has slept in 3 days. Argh.

I have a new fridge, which you would think would make me happy, but eh. It was so much work putting the darn thing in I can't even get excited about it. PB spent a whole day re-wiring the outlet so that it won't set the house on fire. I'm just relieved that I'm not going to find a dead fridge and a big puddle on my kitchen floor when I come home from work one day.

I'm tired of people saying they're sorry when they don't really mean it. Are you sorry you did it, or sorry because it pissed me off? Cause I don't need your apology if you'd just go do it again. Actually, you know what? It's been a pretty bad week so far, and it's not looking up. Save yourself the energy and don't even bother apologizing. It's not going to make me feel any better, just go away... (as a caveat, most of the people who have ticked me off in the last few days were pretty much warned that what they were doing was going to tick me off and did it anyway. To apologize afterwards is almost meaningless.)

I've decided I'm done organizing until this baby is born. No more group events, no more "go in together" gifts. I'm not up for herding kittens this month or next. Want to get together? Great. You let me know when and where. I'll most likely show up. I just can't get the energy together to think about the details anymore.

Oh, I had a #11 to add to the driving list from my Spin last week. Don't rubber neck. Really, people, you're not going to see a dead guy on the road. Just drive past the accident at a reasonable speed. If it's really exciting, it'll be on the evening news. Watch then. For now, keep traffic moving.

Whew, I need to leave and go find my happy place. I just re-read this and realized it's not really random, it's just grumpy. Must go find some chocolate, and maybe some caffeine.

Friday, July 10, 2009

When we first moved to Ohio, I took my time registering my car. For some reason, I just didn't want to give up my NY plates. Which pretty much painted a target for cops on my bumper.

One afternoon, I was driving home from work on a fairly busy residential street. A plumbing truck was sitting in someone's driveway, with the brake lights on. So, I stopped before the drive to let him back out. The light up ahead was red, so I figured no harm, no foul, let this guy have a decent chance at getting out. The guy behind me beeps at me. I ignore him. He beeps again. I give him the finger. Um, then his lights went on. It was an unmarked police car. Damn it.

Cop gets out, does the whole license and registration thing. Gives me a hard time for my NY registration and license. Then asks why I had stopped so far before the light. I explained about the plumbing truck (which, incidentally, was still sitting in the driveway with the brake lights on...). He says, OK, but he's going to give me a ticket for "road rage". I asked why. He said I made an inappropriate hand gesture. And did I know that little things like that make our streets unsafe, as they cause anger in other drivers. Think quick. Think quick. Thank god for officers who talk too much.

I replied, "I didn't give you the middle finger, sir. I held up my first finger, to ask you to wait a minute..."

He accepted that, and let me "off" with a warning. Whew. Still makes PB laugh when he thinks about that. You can take the driver out of NY, but you can't take the NY out of the driver, I guess.

10. If you can do it and still look at the road it's acceptable. If you need to look in the mirror, or anywhere else, save it for the parking lot. Acceptable things: drinking coffee, talking on your hands free, listening to the radio, threatening your kids. Unacceptable things: shaving, putting on makeup, smoking (it's a caveat, anything that involves fire needs more attention that you're able to give it while driving...)

9. No bumper stickers. It's a car, not an Ad. I don't care if you like Obama, or George W. Don't care if you're a witch or your kids are honor students. Save your wit and wisdom for a blog. Bumper stickers distract people. Then you get all mad when they rear end you trying to read about how you love our poodle.

8. Don't tailgate people. Ever. I'm not going to speed up just because you're close enough to read the VIN off my car. I'll probably actually go slower. Partly to piss you off, and partly to make you slow down and realize that you're too damn close. I understand, sometimes the person in the fast lane is going too slow (see #7), but then you can just go around them.

7. Please use the appropriate lane on the highway. Yes, they really are all designated. The right most lane is for slow vehicles, the middle is for "traveling" and the left is for passing. If you're not passing people, get the hell out of the left lane. Likewise, if you're in the middle lane and people on the right are passing you, move to the right. You're a slow vehicle, whether you realize it or not. Trucks should never go into the left lane. Ever. You just piss the rest of us off.

6. If you want my parking spot, please wait patiently. I'm 7 months pregnant and have a 1 year old. Your beeping at me isn't motivation. It's aggravation. Oh, and check to make sure I'm not parked in the maternity spot before you decide to harass me. Likewise for old people. Give them some space. Will it kill you to walk across the parking lot to get to the Walmart? Go take another spot.

5. Please follow traffic signs. If it says "merge", then merge at that time, or soon there after. Don't wait until your lane has completely disappeared and expect people to just happily let you in. Moron. That just makes people mad. They had to spend the last 3 minutes in stop and go traffic for dummies like you. Oh, and if you're in the stop and go traffic, please let the people trying to merge in a timely fashion in. They're trying to do the right thing. Encourage it.

4. Don't drink and drive. I know, I sound like a broken record. But I am amazed about how many people I know who do this. And they have no idea they're doing it. If you feel a lot better about your day on your way out of the bar or party then you did going in, hand over your keys. If you think it might be a good idea to call your ex, or your boss, hand over your keys. More than 2 beers, hand over your keys. I'm not worried about you. I could care less if your drunk butt ends up wrapped around a tree. But my friends and family are on those roads, too.

3. Don't ride with your pet on your lap. It's not cute, it's dangerous. For you, for them, and for the people you'll potentially hit when Muffin wants to lick your face during the ride. I'm all about a dog with it's head out the window. The passenger side window. Preferably in the back seat.

2. Learn how to change your tire and check your fluids. I'm not saying you have to do these things, I'm just saying it ticks me off when people call it an emergency when faced with low oil, or a flat. If you're old enough to drive, you're old enough to be responsible for the vehicle. Go ask your dad how to check your windshield washer fluid, not your mechanic. That's just silly.

1. Keep your car clean. Throw up one of those pine trees if you need to. You never know when you're going to have to give your boss or your mother-in- law a ride. And you don't want to be cleaning last month's McDonald's bag off the passenger seat while they watch. It just looks bad. You never know who'll pass your car in the parking lot and peek in. Should they judge based on what they see? Nope. Will they? You bet your JZcd they will.

That's all for this week folks. Have a good one, and go check out Sprite's Keeper for more Spins...

We bought a fridge this weekend. Which we've needed for the whole 3 years we've lived in this house. And we put off because we thought it would be hard. Nope. We had 4 criteria: Stainless, ice in door, no freezer on bottom, energy star. Which, believe it or not, describes about 3/4 of the fridges on the market. Once we got down to size, we were pretty limited, though (small space). So, we ended up ordering one on line and are done with it. Because really, other than color and style, what the heck are people really shopping for? I could care less if the shelves move, or it you can fit a gallon in the door. I have no fridge affection. Does it keep things cold? Good, that's the one. This time next week, I won't be bending down to china to find the darn waffles, though. Yippee.

I'm over being jealous of PB and LG going to the zoo with out me on Friday (I had to work). Not because of their time alone, but because they saw the wolves up close. I never get to see the darn wolves. It's like they know I'm coming and hide. And they wonder why I never put $$ in their special donation box (yeah, our zoo has special donation boxes around the zoo where you put in money for a project for that animal. i try to give to the lesser loved ones, like the 3 toed sloth).

My kid talks to animals. Kid you not. No human words, but put him in front of a critter, and he goes to town. Last weekend he panted back at a dog. He regularly meows at our cats. And at the zoo, he roared back at a cheetah. I'm either raising a genius, or doing something really, really wrong. We'll see.

I had a funny kitchen moment last night. I have a recipe for "ribbon jello" that includes a layer of white in between the colors. I screw up the white layer every single time (don't ask). I thought I'd try again yesterday, and shoot for a red, white and blue jello (yeah, better late than never, right?). This time, I called for backup, though. I asked PB to make the white layer. He's good with a recipe, and Knox Gelatin usually cooperates with him. After putting the ingredients together, he made some off hand comment about how easy it was. Ok, good for him. I knew it wasn't supposed to be hard, I just have issues. Until I went to put that layer in. And it tasted awful. Yup, he screwed it up, too. He left out ingredients and omitted steps. Not so easy, huh? He now is on my side, and we will conquer this damn jello. Before we're so old that all we can gum is jello, I hope.

I love jello, btw. I had the pleasure of being at a hotel in Lima, Ohio, a few years back that was hosting "The best of the Midwest arm wrestling championship". Yeah, classy clientele. However, the buffet had a whole jello table. You name it, they tried it with jello. I was in heaven.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Little Guy, Little Bear, Chomps McGee, Admiral Fussypants (a promotion from captain, after a long night), Turkey, littliest badger. All things I call my first born. All lovingly, of course.

I would like to take this opportunity to say, "I am his Mom. I will always worry about him (even though I know that 99.9% of the time it is unfounded). And he will always be my baby." Now, get off my back.

I will fuss if I don't think he eats enough, and I will make sure his clothes, diaper and face are clean when we go somewhere "important". Nothing, and no one, will be good enough for him. I will never think he is as safe or happy with you as he is with me.

He is an angel, and when he does something wrong, it must be excusable. You just don't know him.

He is the smartest kid I know, and one day will take on the world. No matter what he does.

And I shall now say that most of this is all in my head. My inner Momalogue. Where it will, and should, stay.

In reality, I know I frequently take him out in dirty shirts (otherwise I'd have to buy stock in laundry soap). When he does something wrong, I will apologize to you, and your child, and make him aware of his wrong doing.

He probably won't take over the world, and I will be happy if he just makes himself happy. I am hoping we teach him to be satisfied with what he can achieve (and not always want for unreasonable things).

He is not the smartest kid I know, in fact , he's pretty average. He can climb on my cabinets and throw and kick a ball, but doesn't have two words yet.

He is certainly no angel (though the face says otherwise).

On the outside, I hope people think I'm a pretty laid back Mom. I do my best, and he is who he is. I do, however, understand where the "not my kid" moms come from. They just haven't learned to keep that as their "inner mom".

How about you? If you have kids, do you have an inner "momalogue"?

Top 10 things I've learned from my child:

10. Nobody knows my kid better than me. And I get the final say. No doctor, teacher or relative should take precedence over what I think is right or wrong. (in the end, I'm responsible for him, and his health and happiness)

9. Nap when the baby naps. Let the dishes, the laundry, and the e-mail wait. A tired Mommy mixed with an rested toddler is a recipe for disaster.

8. Listen to everyone's advice when it's offered. Even if it seems crazy. You never know, when at 2:am and the baby is crying, your husband will say "My secretary, Lola, said she... on her kids and that worked." And lo and behold, it works on yours, too.

7. There is such a thing as "Mommy Magic". And "Daddy Magic", too. I don't know how it works yet, but there are times when just having Mom or Dad makes it all better. Don't question it.

6. Take help when it's offered. You will be glad for the extra time and energy that little hand gave you. And you will be more than willing to repay the favor later.

5. There are far worse things than letting people see your house when it's messy. I am now over it.

4. My patience is not endless. Not even close. My love for my kid, however, is. And that's more important.

3. Never say never. The minute you do, it will come back to bite you. (I'll never let my kid use a binki? Ha, ha, ha, ha.

2. Nothing is worse than formula barf. Nothing. It smells horrible and sticks to clothes (how? the government should use it as a biological weapon!!!). It will find all small crevices and lodge there, forever causing an awful smell.

1. Two little arms around your neck and a sleepy head on your shoulder make up for all amounts of fussing, crying, and bad behavior imaginable. A little snuggle goes a long way.

That's all for this week. Go hug your kid, and say a quick prayer (to the entity of your choice) for all the little ones who are in need this week. The sick ones, the scared ones, the hungry ones.

ps- And I would like to mention our friend in RI, Georgia, who is 5 years old and after 3 grueling years of cancer treatment, has had her final treatment and is in re-mission. You go, Miss Georgia.