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Sometimes Harvard students deal with romance gone awry. And, yep, they have to end those romances the same way mere mortals do: with supreme immaturity, extreme drunkenness, and/or displays of outlandish and deviant behavior. But they do these crazy things with panache.

Anyway, here's what you do: "If you're of age and find yourself at a locale that provides liquor, make the bad date worth your while and order a drink—or five. Everyone, including you, gets more interesting after a couple of shots. Who knows, maybe after two rounds of Venus in Furs at Upstairs on the Square, you might actually discover your ability to juggle silverware. Nothing says free entertainment like a drunk girl who juggles."

Oh, Harvard. Just like the rest of us, yet so completely different. When we were in college, we didn't end bad dates at Upstairs on the Square. And we didn't know how to juggle. We went to Charlie's Kitchen, and we hid in the bathroom.