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well here it goes you all listen up here now cause this here is a tale here uh really needs to be told cause americans we truly believe in this howdy folks this is the skatanic rednecks i’m the skatanic mechanic i’m hank roller and this here is the skatanic mechanic please keep those hands and arms and p*ck*r inside the train and remain seated at all times now then hang on to them hats and gl*sses cause this here is the wildest f*cking ride in the wilderness

you d*mn kids get off of that tractor right now get out of that f*cking tomato patch you little sh*ts we’re from the backwoods of huntington beach and uh this is a tale that needs to be told cause this here is the wildest ride in the wilderness

i used to have a favorite blanket when i was a babe i next picked up a cigarette at twelve years of age then alcohol and marijuana gave me the security that i wanted but the novelty wore off i was alone and afraid but now i find my favorite fix comes from the company of a chick and i don’t care about her height her weight or her bra size i don’t give a sh*t if she can cook on the griddle as long as she’s got a p*ssy in the middle and an *sshole to match i don’t mind if she works in a sweat shop in china as long as she’s got a steaming hot v*g*n* how i worship that sn*tch and i don’t care what you want to call it a m*ff or a bare taco with nothing on it i’m still in love i’m so in love and i don’t necessarily care but they’re better when they don’t have any hair

what’s up with that tumbleweed if there’s gr*ss on the field mow it you know i always said before you get your wagon on the trail you need to clear the bush if you need a chainsaw to clear it don’t go near it you get off of that f*cking tractor how’s that you guys or are we rolling