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Thursday, January 23, 2014

A few lessons...

[Note: This post was originally published on The Mrs on April 28th, 2012. It's January, which means there's three months to JordanCon... shit, I need to get costuming! Yes, once again I'm procrastinating...]

Okay. So. You know when you’re excited for a trip and you’re raring to
go, and you have all these tremendously high expectations...?

What happens? It’s a let down, right?

Okay, maybe not always, but there’s still a drawback... the fun has to end sometime, kids.

This weekend past I flew to Atlanta for five days to attend JordanCon (I have a recap here* and photos for public consumption here* if you’re interested).

And truly, I can recap this extra-long weekend in three words: It. Was. Awesome.

To be even more succinct, I can sum it in two words: sleepless bender.

Seriously. I don’t know what crept into my brain, but despite the litres
of alcohol poured down my only-semi-tolerant throat, I found myself
lying in bed blinking at the ceiling at 3am (except for Saturday
night/Sunday morning, because I was still hanging in the hotel lobby
until after 4am. Thank you, Jono).

Thankfully my amazing roomie had Ambien with her.

Also thankful that that ceiling wasn’t spinning — because Lord knows that was a distinct possibility.

So. Things I learned this weekend:

1. If a border guard leaves the partial sentence “so you’re...” hanging,
never presume he’s asking where you’re going, just tell him you’re a
geek — he’ll laugh and you’ll be waved through. Which is good because...

2. Those Kinder eggs in your checked baggage are illegal in the US. Seriously. I spent the weekend handing out the case
of eggs I brought, joking they were contraband because I’d thought they
simply weren’t available for purchase in the States, only to come home
and shit kittens because it turns out they really areillegal.

Oops.

3. It’s really creepy when your flight’s seat mate is not only the same
age and astrological sign as you, but he met his wife the same year you
met your husband, and you both got married the same summer. The
wide-eyed question, “so when’s your anniversary?” is extremely awkward.

4. The decidedly neutral look in response to “I’m flying down for a
fantasy convention” actually speaks volumes. If you ever receive this
look, I’ll advise that it’s wise not to bother informing your seat mate
that you’ve weapons in your checked baggage.

5. Apparently I have a “heavy” Canadian accent.

6. People laugh if you say you’re from “Canadia.” If they ask where that is, they’re probably trashed.

13. Always tip Atlanta servers with loonies and toonies — they’re far
enough from the border that they get a big kick out of it. They also
like it if you snort and pretend you’re insulted that their snobby tip
cup only takes “American paper.”

14. When possible, shoot short video recaps of your day. You will not
remember the whirlwind otherwise. Also? Drunk you is probably
entertaining.

15. There’s always far more free alcohol than you expect.

16. You’re far too old for weekend benders and you’ll feel every day of your years (but it’s only once a year, right?).

17. When you’re a trophy wife/stay-at-home-mom, your kidlets will
scream and wail and beg you to come home via telephone, because it’s
apparently terrifying when their anchoring fixture has run away from
home...

18. These same kidlets will not care when you finally walk in the door. Especially if Star Wars is playing on the TV.

19. It takes a good three days (at least) to get over Con Hangover
(which is less actual hangover and more a byproduct of alcohol and sleep
deprivation).

20. It would appear to take far longer to get over Con Depression (the
period of sadness that the fun is over for another year)... I’m still
waiting.