Not Even Vampires

There’s these group of people that are said to be vampires. But nobody believes them. They live in New York City (they say they live there because there are a lot of people to pray on). They call themselves “The Killers”. But there have been NO reports on vampire deaths. I’m a reporter that always follows them and records their every move.

I’ve been recording them for about two weeks now. They hang out all day in the alleys (no light). Then they wait till’ everyone is gone asleep to go back to their houses and sleep too. To me they are a big pathetic joke. And I want to put them down and get rid of their “secret” (not really a secret but they still believe it is) and show everyone that they are normal like us.

Once I’m done I’ll send it to CNN so it can be shown world-wide. I start on October 1, 2009 the month of Halloween. I walk over to their regular hang-out. I point out my camera and zoom in on them.

“Man, I’m starting to get tired hanging out here all the time!” said one of them. “Look people still believe that we are vampires. So we have to stay like this and then they’ll believe that vampires do exist!” replied the other. “But what happens when they find out when it’s all a big lie?” asked another one. “They won’t!” said one of them. “Why?” asked all of them. “Because we’re vampires!” said the one while jumping on top of the crates and hissing while showing his fake fangs.

I accidentally snorted and I’m guessing they heard me because the same one said “Who’s there?” I walked in front of them and showed my self. But I was smart not to show my big camera. Instead I turned it off and lay it on the floor and turned on my disguised one which was really a pin on my shoulder. “Who are you?” he asked. “Well that’s none of your business. But I am your biggest fan!” I lied.

“Really? Well a pretty young lady like you should get to spend the day with vampires.” “That would be so awesome! But will you be able to control your thirst?” I asked trying to use my not-so-good acting skills. “We’ll have to find out but no worries we will be really careful!” “Great where do we start?” I asked with my fake smile.

“Central Park, of course! But you’ll have to wait until night time.” “Sounds good!” I lied again. I took out my recorded and walked over to them. “Can I interview you guys?” I asked. “Sure.” “It is said that vampires are pale. But why are you guys the skin tone of an average human?” I asked. “Well because we try to be as normal as possible. So we use spray paint.” I had to use all my strength to restrain from bursting out into laughter. “Uh-huh. Well there have been pictures of you guys out in sunlight, but don’t vampires burn if they go out in sunlight?” I asked. “Well you see sometimes we use this spray that keeps us from burning. That’s modern technology for ‘ya.” “Right. Well one more, well two technically. How can you restraint from blood and there have been no reports on deaths caused by vampires so do you hunt?” I asked. “Well we are very strong and can restraint really well. And we are really quite at night and eat ALL of our prey.”

“Well thanks but I just remembered I have to go somewhere but it was great talking to you guys!” Then I walked away and took my stuff. I whispered “Trust me” under my breath and headed to where I worked. I showed my boss everything I had gotten and she was very pleased. She quickly sent it to CNN.

Then CNN reporters were talking to the “vampires”. “The secret’s out boys! You guys are proven by fact and you also admitted that you are not real vampires” said one reporter. They were all shocked and I just simply laughed. They weren’t even vampires I thought to myself.

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