Category Archives: Psychology

Dark obsessive thoughts are those which make you feel as a bad person. Even as a horrible person sometimes. A classic example: you see a knife and imagine that you take it and stab someone with it.

When this thought strikes you (like the lightning among the blue sky), you get shocked and scared. “What was that?! What the heck?! Why do I imagine it? Do I want to stab other people? No, no, of course not! But why do I imagine that? I’m so ugly human :(…”

Sounds familiar, right?

On top of that, dark thoughts, especially those, which you get shocked with, those that you’re really afraid of, they become obsessive. Next time you see a knife, the dark thought blasts again! Continue reading Dark Obsessive Thoughts→

Recently it feels there’s a lot of buzz around the “demasculinazation” of the male part of the human society.

Various sources of information and self-development blogs are spreading the opinion that today world’s comfort conditions make men waker, softer, more fragile, less ambitious, passive.

The above sources call this process the core reason of the young male adults’ problem to find a love partner.

The relatively peaceful environment, that humanity created for itself, fires back on the male part of the human tribe, they say.

I suppose, it has some truth in it. But what bothers me is the extreme point these “teachings” tend toward to.

After criticizing the current state of affairs, adepts of the above opinion suggest the solution, which consists of the number of stereotypical actions which may turn a neurotic nerd into an alpha male.

Going down the list of traits every “true man” must possess, and omitting cliche advices such as a “an alpha male is a confident leader”, we are likely to get to the part about emotions. Or, to be more precise, the absence of emotions.

If you’re a girl, you may be surprised with how many illogical expectations are laid on the shoulders of a boy brought up in traditional society. Among them, the expectation of being an emotionless machine.

There’s a phrase that describes it best: “Boys don’t cry”.

Since a boy is born, he is taught to be tough, strong like a rock, extremely disciplined, and yes, not to cry.

Crying here is over-generalization of all human emotions actually.

Most guys, your kind servant including, when they grow up, unconsciously tend to follow those instructions. However, as it is impossible not to feel emotions for a human being, the emotions get suppressed.

The side-effect is that those suppressed emotions, when it’s impossible to keep them inside, burst out. Then, this uncontrollable process may not only harm surrounding people, relationships with them, but also destroy the person itself. Continue reading Boys Don’t Cry→

Depersonalization and derealization are unhealthy patterns of thought that result in feeling like you’ve lost your personhood or humanity, failing to recognize the humanity in others, and struggling to grasp reality.

People who suffer from derealization question whether or not the world around them is real, and because of this, often have a very hard time functioning in the world around them.

Depersonalization is equally harmful: it robs the person of their feelings of humanity and makes them feel disassociated from the world around them.

Understandably, people who suffer from depersonalization and derealization may have a difficult time with social interaction, and may feel isolated and alone.

The best way to combat depersonalization and derealization is to get professional help from a mental health specialist, since depersonalization and derealization are often symptoms of larger mental illnesses, like anxiety or depression.

Have you ever wondered why people get angry when they’re wrong? Not just feel uncomfortable or awkward, but pissed?

Last week, a customer came up to my makeup counter and demanded we honor her coupon that promised a free mini mascara. After I explained the coupon was expired and offered her a mini lip gloss instead, she threw the lipgloss back at me (a really poor choice of ammunition, considering it’s barely the size of my pinky finger) and told me it was a “gross pink”, and, besides, we are “a crappy ghetto store anyway”.

What this lady experienced was a form of cognitive dissonance. According to the American Psychological Association, cognitive dissonance is the mental discomfort caused by a contradiction between the actual truth and what a person believes is true: in other words, it’s the awkwardness, the collar-loosening, and the throat-clearing silence (or the lip-gloss-chucking anger) we experience when we’re wrong. Continue reading Cognitive Dissonance→