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'Tis the season: A gift for every NHL team, and one for hockey fans

Team Canada captain Sidney Crosby (87), Ryan Getzlaf (15) along with other teammates celebrate winning gold after beating Team Sweden 3-0 in the men's hockey final at the Bolshoy Ice Dome during the Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia, on Feb. 23, 2014. One gift for hockey fans this year is the NHL saying yes to participating at the 2018 Winter Olympics in South Korea. (Al Charest/Postmedia Network/Files)

For struggling teams such as the Colorado Avalanche and Arizona Coyotes, ’tis the season to be melancholy. But fear not, all ye faithful. As the holiday season quickly approaches, Postmedia has put together the ideal list of 31 gifts for 31 teams. But beware: No refunds allowed.

So, without further ado:

ANAHEIM DUCKS

Please leave some goals in Ryan Getzlaf’s stocking. It’s Christmas, and he only has four.

ARIZONA COYOTES

A local kid to be the franchise saviour. (Oh, wait. The Maple Leafs already drafted Auston Matthews. Better luck next time, Yotes!)

BOSTON BRUINS

Some different home cooking (maybe some fresh chowdah) that will change their fate at the TD Garden, where they have a losing record.

BUFFALO SABRES

Prolonged health for Jack Eichel, whose Sabres are the second-lowest-scoring team in the league.

CALGARY FLAMES

A reset button on the season for talented defenceman TJ Brodie, who sports a nightmarish minus-19.

CAROLINA HURRICANES

New ownership. Peter Karmanos’ tenure on Tobacco Road is pretty much done.

CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS

A healthy captain. Jonathan Toews already has missed one-quarter of the season due to injury.

COLORADO AVALANCHE

Free headgear — in the form of paper bags — for fans attending Avs home games. Given the poor on-ice product they’ve been forced to endure, it’s the perfect present.

Points. And fast. Otherwise that 25-season playoff streak is on the verge of coming to an abrupt halt.

DALLAS STARS

Ben Bishop. At some point, the plug needs to be pulled on the Niemi-Lehtonen combo.

EDMONTON OILERS

A suit of armour for franchise player Connor McDavid, whose body has absorbed more than its share of hacking, whacking and slashing. The sport needs McDavid on the ice, not in the trainer’s room.

FLORIDA PANTHERS

Front-office stability. Because it certainly is an area of need.

LOS ANGELES KINGS

A healthy Jonathan Quick. And quickly, if you’ll excuse the pun.

MINNESOTA WILD

Some BBQ crow for Eric Staal to serve at the Christmas table for all his critics to eat. Because they were wrong — he isn’t washed up. Far from it.

MONTREAL CANADIENS

A set of bionic knees for franchise goalie Carey Price. Because every time an opponent slams into him, an entire fan base holds its collective breath.

NASHVILLE PREDATORS

A strong serving of consistency, And, no, that’s not the name of a new cocktail at one of Music City’s famed Honky Tonks. This is a team that has won consecutive games just four times this season. Selfishly, that’s distressing to those of us who picked them to represent the west in the Stanley Cup final.

NEW JERSEY DEVILS

GM Ray Shero hoped to find some “push back” under the tree in his moribund team’s dressing room. On Thursday, his Devils responded with a pugilistic-filled 4-0 win over the Philadelphia Flyers. Forget about exchanging gifts; on this particular night it was all about exchanging fisticuffs.

NEW YORK ISLANDERS

Some help for John Tavares. Every year we ask for the same thing for Johnny T. Unfortunately, more often than not, all that is found in his stocking is a lump of coal. Better be careful, or he’ll start spending Christmas elsewhere. Permanently.

NEW YORK RANGERS

They got the best gift they could have wished for back in the summer — winning the Jimmy Vesey sweepstakes.

OTTAWA SENATORS

A downtown rink. Please. For the health of the franchise. And for a hockey-loving city that deserves it.

PHILADELPHIA FLYERS

A second 10-game winning streak of the season. Yes, a second one. Hey, what’s wrong with being a bit greedy?

PITTSBURGH PENGUINS

A vintage version of Sidney Crosby. Check that — they already have it. Such is the shopping dilemma when it comes to a team that pretty much has everything.

ST. LOUIS BLUES

A few less ulcers for coach Ken Hitchcock, who plans on retiring at the end of this season. Translation: A few less blind passes up the gut in your own end, boys!

SAN JOSE SHARKS

A lifetime supply of razors? Or, in the case of the beards-gone-wild duo of Joe Thornton and Brent Burns, a good chain saw. Even Santa is jealous of the facial hair these two guys are sprouting.

TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING

A horseshoe for Steven Stamkos. For good luck. Because, man, this guy has had more than his share of bad luck for one career.

TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS

If the likes of Matthews, Mitch Marner and William Nylander continue to develop and provide hope, that will be the best gift Leafs Nation could get for years to come.

VANCOUVER CANUCKS

A proper rebuild. It’s time for out with the old, in with the new. Ryan Miller should be trade fodder. As for the Sedins, two of the most stand-up players you’ll ever find, well, glad we don’t have to make that decision.

VEGAS GOLDEN KNIGHTS

A decent roster that isn’t dominated with third- and fourth-liners. Good luck with that, George McPhee.

WASHINGTON CAPITALS

A third-round playoff appearance for Alex Ovechkin. Indeed, it’s a place no Ovie has gone before.

WINNIPEG JETS

For the rest of his teammates to shoot as well as Patrick Laine. OK, maybe not. Some requests are just too impossible to fill.

And one final one ...

FOR HOCKEY FANS EVERYWHERE

An agreement that allows NHLers to go to South Korea for the 2018 Olympics. It’s best-on-best on the grandest stage the world has to offer. The fans want to see it — even if games will be played in the wee hours North American time.