Send me email updates about messages I've received
on the site and the latest news from The CafeMom Team.By signing up, you certify that
you are female and accept the Terms of Service and have read the
Privacy Policy.

I think its both. You may fall in love with someone but that is chemistry and eventually the feelings of a new relationship and excitement of it fade with time. At some point you have to decide if you want to remain in love with the person for all the good & bad they have to offer. Love is a commitment.

There is a thing call physical attraction that many people equate with love, but true love is a choice and it also involves commitment. Feelings come and go, but true love wants the best for the one who is loved, more so than it wants fulfillment of its own desires. In marriage, issues of character are extremely important, and what too often happens is that folks are blinded by the emotional and/or physical attraction to the point that they miss key character traits that will be mighty hard to live with. I spent a great deal of time and energy teaching these principles to our children, and I am now teaching them to my grandchildren. Understanding this can alleviate much heartache and turmoil since physical attraction is not enough to sustain a marriage.