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Wednesday, 9 March 2011

Cow muck was the main ingredient...

Back in 1992 I used to live and work on a dairy farm in the Vale of York.

Twice a day on my little red Fergie tractor I scraped out the cow muck. Not a very glamorous job I grant you, however it gave my brain free rein to dream up lots of interesting recipes.

The one (yes, that's right ONE!) television programme I insisted on watching was BBC's 'Masterchef'. Sunday afternoons would find me sat in front of the box avidly watching the programme. You could bet your bottom dollar, that would be the time the cows would choose to escape. I would sink lower into the armchair pretending I hadn't noticed cows flashing past the window.

Watching from the comfort of an easy chair I thought 'I could easily do that!'

I sent off for an application form. When it arrived I took one look at it and thought I haven't got time to fill that in; between milking cows, feeding calves, tractor driving, leading big bales, silage making and all the hard graft that goes with living on a small farm. How could I possibly find the time to answer a pretty comprehensive form about me? It was hard enough getting through each normal day, without taxing my brain as to how my friends perceived me; together with, searching culinary questions.

Just prior to putting it in the bin I showed it to my son Aaron, who took one look at it and said "You'll never be bothered to fill THAT in!"

Red rag to a bull springs to mind and on a dairy farm quite apt.

His words were echoing exactly my thoughts.

My dander was well and truly up.

I thought "I show the little bugger!"

I filled the form in with the minimum of effort, to give you some idea - one of the questions was 'Which countries' cuisine has most influenced your cooking?' I replied"None really!"

My idea was to send it off, then when no more was heard from Masterchef I could hand on heart say to Aaron "I've never heard another word!"

A couple of weeks later I get a phone call - guess who from?

Yes, it was the programme producer.

"We really like the sound of you!"

And that is how 19 years later I'm sitting here telling you what a fabulous experience it was.