Entries tagged with tv

It shames and frightens me that I'm so good at Wheel of Fortune, 'cos I really hate that show, but I feel I'm redeemed by trying my brain power at Jeopardy. Aunt Tudi and I watch three game shows; the two aforementioned ones and Family Feud. I only watch it for John O'Hurley. He's a hot tamale.

Aunt Tudi and I had to run some errands this afternoon, so we were gone from shortly before 5 PM until just now. The journey was interminable. If I didn't have my music in the car, I'd go as crazy as a half-starved yak in the barren Canadian desert.

The main thing that kept us was, of course, Wally World. Aunt Tudi is a girly-girl when it comes to shopping whereas I am definitely of the male persuasion: get in, get what you need as quickly as possible, get out, speed off. Aunt Tudi has to stop and look at shit we can't even buy. Why look at it if you can't buy it? What's the point? I don't know. All I know is I got home at what is regularly my bedtime (like that has really mattered much until just recently) and I'm still ready and rearing to zizz along. It'll take me an hour or two just to decompress from my day out in amongst the Great Unwashed.

Fortunately, we got in just in time enough to pop a tape in to record Law & Order. I'd stopped watching this show until this past year when Anthony Anderson and Linus Roache joined the crew. I adore Anthony Anderson, ever since I saw him in My, Myself, and Irene (bye bye Daddeh!) and Linus I just want to lick like a big Manchester lollipop. He does an incredible American accent, but I prefer his native Brit accent, much to no one's surprise.

What is it with Brits doing such fine American accents of late? The two that immediately come to mind are Linus Roache and Hugh Laurie. I still can't get over his portrayal of House 'cos I was introduced to his mad talent in Blackadder. Totally foppish and silly, he was.

Anyway...I'm gonna half watch L&O and eyeball my books, then try to prepare for bed and maybe some blessed Zyprexa sleep. It's good to be in.

I usually don't watch reality hoo-ha or competition crap. I had a mild interest in The Sing Off because it was an a capella singing competition and, singing a capella by myself and in bardic circles, I know how difficult it can be. What these folks do is so far beyond me, I just haven't the words. I saw this last night and was just stunned. Now it's your turn.

I retired around 1 AM and, with Toby trampling me, I finally drifted off to The Chronicles of Riddick about an hour later. It was one of those nights where, even though I was sleeping, I was aware that I was asleep, just under the wire of unconsciousness, but not fully there to where I could dream or rid myself of my thoughts. And I clenched my teeth all night long. I got up about an hour ago with a low grade headache and sore teeth thanks to that. The dentist made me this plastic tooth guard to help with my clenching, but it no longer fits properly and, to be honest, I hated wearing it because it kept me from getting fully asleep, it was so weird feeling.

Today, Aunt Tudi and I are supposed to go 'round and pay the rest of our bills, but the weather is supposed to be bleak all day, so I'm gonna try to persuade her to put it off until tomorrow. I don't feel like going anywhere today and I have a doctor appointment tomorrow, so we have to be out tomorrow anyway. I'm supposed to wake her up at 9:30, so we'll see then.

Speaking of Aunt Tudi, she was introduced, along with myself, to the wonderful medium of televiewing via the computer last night. Under the advisement of tryslora and penguingirl84, I sought out the 100th episode of LOST Aunt Tudi accidentally taped over yesterday, so we got to watch it online last night. I opted for the high definition since this computer is HD and we were blown away by the clarity of the picture. That got me to jonesin' for more HD goodness, so I watched a number of things on You Tube with the HD option. One of them was, of course, The Joker Blogs' "An Apple a Day." I got a screen cap of the dude right after the fork trick and made this for a larf.

Star Wars: The Legacy Revealed is on the History Channel right now. I don't see where it'll be repeated in the near future, but I'll be paying attention to the schedule for upcoming episodes. So far, it's been an excellent show, even though I've only seen ten minutes of it. I hope I haven't missed the part on Darth Maul, if there is a part, that is.

I watched a movie on Nickelodeon last night about....kids. It was called Gym Teacher: the Movie and it starred Christopher Meloni. That's why I watched it. Any chance to see Chris Meloni is one I take, even if I have to watch kids to do so. It's not Oz, but it'll tide me over until the new season of SVU grinds into action.

This show on ABC called "Wipeout" is what happens when America takes an honourable obstacle course competition in Japan, "Ninja Warrior," and turns it into a Warner Brothers cartoon. I hate to admit this, but I dearly love "Wipeout." It tickles me silly to see these idiots break their fool faces on the Big Balls while listening to the perpetually delightful John Henson give his unique insights on the sportsmanlike virtues of each competitor.

Since my gbs, I've become slightly lactose intolerant. This doesn't bother me, really, but it does place those in my vicinity in quite a precarious position, especially if I ingest large quantities of dairy products. Milk-based foods are pretty much my favourite and a day doesn't go by that I don't shove something that came out of a cow into my face. Lately, though, I've been aggressively craving dairy, particularly cheese. The main source of my protein for the past 48 hours has been Aunt Tudi's extra sharp cheddar cheese. The cheese goes in and noxious fumes come out. Aunt Tudi now has a permanent green hue around the edges of her person. Even the dogs, who thrive on gnarly aromas, are avoiding me with enthusiasm. The only discomfort I've suffered from all this is having to maintain a modicum of civility at work instead of letting it rip like the natural woodland beast I am. By the time 2 PM rolled around, I felt like an over-inflated balloon on the verge of being pricked by a needle. I came home and that was it. Aunt Tudi and the critters have been done for, but I can now breathe easy and am currently having my supper, which consists of a large chunk of cheese and a handful of vegetable crackers. It wouldn't surprise me if Dubya sent his brute squad to my house to beat me senseless for being a weapon of mass destruction. Or maybe Al Gore would send over a herd of environmentally concerned hippies to chide me for eating another hole in the ozone layer.I need to wax my eyebrow. It's been April since I did anything with it and it has once again become my unibrow. A little bit of wax on the bridge of my nose and a stripe of wax underneath each side to give me that Elf arch should do the trick. It's just a matter of actually doing it. If I don't soon, I'll be featured in the next Geico adverts, griping about how Cavewomen are sheisted even more than Cavemen, and demanding a fresh plate of roast duck with mango salsa.If my name had been Erin Brokovich, I would have adopted "Go" as my middle name. Aunt Tudi taped a Law & Order: Criminal Intent that guest-starred Joan Jett. Now that Jeopardy is off, we're gonna watch that and, then, I'm crawling off to bed to gas myself into a stupour. Hopefully, I'll sleep better than I did last night, which sucked on the slumber front. If I could sleep as well at night as I do in the early morning, I'd be one well-rested and happy individual. Unfortunately, I don't. As soon as I really get into sleeping, it's time to get up and go to work. That's a sorry way to be, but such is life in the Insomnia Zone. Something tells me that I'm gonna sleep pretty good tonight. To encourage sleep, I'm going to read some before turning out the light. I checked out the book Hannibal by Thomas Harris from the library. I read it once before, back in 2001, on my way to NYC for the taping of ELO on VH-1 Storytellers. I got so caught up in the book that I almost missed boarding the plane back home in Detroit. I was sitting right there at the gate and didn't even hear the announcement that boarding had commenced. They made the last call for boarding when I realised I had like five minutes to make it on board. Imagine my chagrin had I missed my flight home and had to explain that I had lost myself in a book about a serial killer and cannibal wooing an FBI agent. I still get embarrassed by the thought of it, seven years after the fact. So, anyway, I'm rereading the novel since I just recently read Red Dragon and The Silence of the Lambs.

I love these books and I adore the character of Hannibal Lecter; however, there's one thing about Harris' writing style that gets my goat. The man has issues when it comes to keeping the story in tense. One sentence will be in past tense, then the next will be in present tense. I'm thinking this is intentional, and probably done for stylistic purposes, but it's frustrating for a grammatical purist like myself to see a published writer play fast and loose with the language, not that I'm a shining beacon of the Queens English by long shot. It just torques me that Mr. Harris is a successful published author whose novels have been committed to film when it appears as if he can't string two proper sentences together and keep them in a coherent time frame. And here I am fretting over my wee tale, certain that it'll be rejected for not adhering to the modern moratorium on so-called purple prose. Gah.

I was off work today. Röchling decided to actually close on a horribleday, which is unlike them, according to their long-term employees. I would have preferred to have worked because I don't get paid horribledays. That said, this day is particularly horrible because I am not getting paid for having to choice to stay out of work. I would shake my fist at the Man, but I'm too disgusted to eek out the energy for such an act.

In better news, I have about 15 active Sea Monkeys that I can actually see. The largest one, my first hatched named Adama, has matured and his a truly horny male. Mature Sea Monkeys show their gender by sporting either horns on the head or egg sacs at the base of the tale. I can't wait until the other Sea Monkeys mature so they can start getting jiggy with each other. Sea Monkey sex is said to be a wonder to behold.

In even better news, the Aunt Tudi A/C Salvage Fund has been a success! I'm just waiting for the transfers to the bank to go through so I can go get her an air conditioner. She'll need at least a 10k btu. I'm looking through newspapers and Craigslist to see if something is decent to buy that way, but I'm thinking I'll go with Wal-Mart or Lowes so I'll get a warranty, just in case. The temperature tomorrow is supposed to be 88 with moderate humidity. This is the warmest day we've had so far, so I'm getting her replacement A/C just in time. Thank you to everyone who participated. Aunt Tudi is literally in awe of you and the power we can all wield when we work together. She's heard so many bad things about the Internet, so it's great to show her the wonderful things that can bloom from a much-maligned human medium. You're fantastic!

Speaking of good things on the Internet, I found a wonderful reference website called Index of HTML 4.01 Character Entity References. On the site, I discovered å, which allows me to write Sechlourendål correctly for the first time ever. Déaghydhen language utilises rings over the vowels. A ring over the e, like in Deaghydhe give the e a 'yeh' pronunciation. å is pronounced like a short e. I ring is like a short a. O ring is pronounced like ö. U ring is pronounced like 'yoo.' I wish that all the rings were available instead of just å. It would make being able to translate the true Déghyden language. I guess I just use acutes to replace the rings as needed.

The Llew situation hasn't changed since my previous post. I'm not speaking to him much, as I'm afraid my anger will burst through and leave me not-so-very-much neutral. He's shown signs of affection, wanting to be intimate and whatnot, but I'm not ready to go there. Not until I know what he's truly decided to do. He says he can't make a certain choice until he talks to Melanie. When that's gonna happen, I don't know. He sold his acoustic guitar and amp for $200 and gave me $60 of it. $80 has to go for his car insurance and the rest will get him through the week. He says he's not applying for work this week because he won't know about Pennsylvania for a while and he doesn't want to get a job that he's going to leave right after getting it. So much for financial help.

Gwen has invited me to her cookout for today. I'm thinking about going, even though I'd hate to leave Aunt Tudi alone. I may drop by just for a short time just to say hello, then zip back home and hang with the Toodles. Besides, there's an Enterprise marathon going on and I've become rather fond of that show over the course of 6 or so months. It's much better than Voyager, in my humble opinion.

To everyone who celebrates it, happy Memorial Day to you. To everyone who does not, happy Monday to you! I'm off to get a shower now, on account of I stank.

It took me 30 years to find it, but find it I did. Bubblegum ice cream without the bubblegum!

When I was a kid, there was this ice creamery called The Checkerboard. They made their own ice cream and one of their flavours was bubblegum ice cream. It didn't have the bubblegum in it, but it tasted more like bubblegum than bubblegum! It was my favourite flavour at the Checkerboard and I was sorely disappointed when they closed down in 1978.

Other ice creameries opened and some of them carried bubblegum ice cream, but they all put freakin' bubblegum in the ice cream. How are you supposed to eat something full of a thing that you're not supposed to swallow? It's disgusting.

But, today, Aunt Tudi and I went to the Marble Slab in Spartanburg. They had bubblegum ice cream, made fresh at the creamery, and it is sans bubblegum. I taste-tested it and lo! it was good. It took me right back to my childhood, so I bought a pint, and I shall nosh on it for days to come.In other news, a show called Aftermath is airing on National Geographic. It's all about the Earth after humans disappear. This is like Alpaca Lips porn, I'm telling you. I'm gonna have to change my undies after this show goes off.

And I'll be missing a good bit of it because Aunt Tudi is keen on seeing Al Gore on Larry King Live tonight. The Day After just came on (props to my Lawrence, Kansas homies!) and, at 9 PM, there's a 2-hour speculation show called Countdown to Doomsday that provides 10 scenarios for mass extinction. Good times yo! Of course, Al Gore will be talking about global warming, that thar thang that don't eggzist in Dubya's Yewtopiuhn Werld Vyew. Yeehaw! So I guess it's Alpaca Lips night on CNN as well.

It just seems to me that everyone is a bit more aware of our pending mortality than we were just ten years ago. Or is it that I'm more aware of people being more aware of the Alpaca Lips? I think not. I've been pretty Alpaca Liptic since I saw the original The Omen in 1979. It's what made me pull out my Rainbow Bible and take a good long look at the Book of Revelation. So I've been pretty observant of End Times trends for going on 30 years now. I think the upsurge of Alpaca Liptic Paranoia is relatively new. It's like everyone got a knock on their front door at the same time only to open it and find that creepy old preacher from Poltergeist II standing there screeching "Yer gawna diiiiieeee! Yer gawna diiiiieeee!" That's a real eye-opener right there, that is.

Come to think...if Revelation has any relevance at all and works in conjunction with the Mayan calendar, then we're already a year into the Tribulation.

I've had that show LEXX on my mind all day long. It's a shame Sci-Fi doesn't show it anymore. I don't think the network showed the whole series in the first place. A good many of the shows were a bit too racy for American television, or so I've been led to believe by what I've read about the show. I didn't get into the last season so much when the Lexx came to Earth and the crew were fighting Prince. I just didn't like it as much as the episodes where they encountered a bunch of kinky weirdos each week. And that's a shame, really, 'cos I adore Nigel Bennett and I really really want to like him in LEXX, but I can't. Of course, I compare everything he does to Lucien LaCroix, so he's doomed from the get-go.

I prefer 790 being in love with Xev and I prefer Xev to Zev. And I like Xev with the funky bright red hair instead of the calico blonde hair from the last season. I liked it better when Stanley was hopelessly horny. And, of course, I will always adore Kai and his big bun head. And that song he sings, the theme song of the Brunnen G. Love.It.

After work, I'm picking up Aunt Tudi and we're heading to Dr. Patch's to get some Amoxil Drops from Miss Marple and (hopefully) Spiteful. We're also going to the dump to drop off some rubbish and the post office to pick up more rubbish and, hopefully, a DVD. I'm waiting for Last Holiday starring Queen Latifah. Both Aunt Tudi and I loved that movie. It was also the deciding factor in my going to England. And the Gospel music in it never fails to give me chicken pimples, goose bumps, weasel pox, and a host of other animalistic flesh risings.

I was going to see Llew, but have put that off 'til tomorrow. Instead, I'm heading for bed early because I can't seem to keep my eyeballs open. I actually took a half hour nap at lunchtime, I was so sleepy. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me, but I hate it. It's not like I didn't get enough sleep last night. I went to sleep during The 4400 and slept through til this morning, about 9 hours. It's a good thing I taped The 4400; otherwise, I'd be so pissed right now.

So, that's the agenda for today: Vet's office, post office, and sleep sleep sleep. I'd really like to write on The Chalice some, but that's not gonna happen, not for as long as I'm narcoleptic.

This is my last day as an unemployed slacker. If I didn't have the responsibility that I have, I wouldn't go back to work. I'd liquidate everything and take to the road, going where my nose and my wits may lead me. I may even go back to England or Wales, and disappear. But that's not my path right now and I accept that. Even if I don't get to be absorbed by the artistic community and live a free and wayward Bohemian life in this incarnation, there's always the next. Honestly, I'm looking forward to going to work tomorrow. When I passed the place on Friday, there was a woman in a ball cap and a man in a do rag sitting outside smoking. They all seem pretty laid back, and that's totally for me. I think I'm gonna get along with these folks fabulously and the job is going to be a good one for me. We'll see if my feelings are accurate soon.

It's raining outside right now. The temp is about 15 degrees cooler today than it has been in about two weeks ~ 80 degrees. It's been a beautiful cloudy, cooler, rainy day. I'd love to go out and enjoy it, but the mosquitoes would drain me dry in a matter of five minutes. So I stay indoors and admire the weather through the storm door. It's on days like today I miss the beach the most. A perfect day at the beach is cloudy, cool, and threatening to storm. The waves crash onto the shore with an urgent tide. And the sea birds keen to the gods of air and water. I need to be near Mother Ocean today.

Queen of the Damned is on Sci-Fi. Even though I have this on DVD, I'm still watching it. The music of this film touches me on a very primal level, particularly the violin and viola duet on the beach. Gypsy music. It stirs me. I'd never seen Queen of the Damned before falkenna sent me the video tape. The moment I saw it, I was in love. Stuart Townsend makes a superior Lestat, especially compared to Tom Cruise. I still think that Julian Sands would be wonderful as Lestat. Well, crap. It just went off.

Speaking of vampires, I believe I've figured out a way to include "The Embrace of Cadmus" as a chapter in The Chalice. Why I didn't think of it before is beyond me. When the convergence occurs, instead of Braecca representing the Hive of Redemption, I can make it Eve coming to Kelat's aid. Eve would have a twofold reason for wanting to conquer Cadmus: 1) She is aligned with Thiyennen, who is being tormented by Cadmus and 2) She is Cadmus' only Chylde, created by violence into violence for the sole purpose of enriching the Pariah. Her reasons can be enhanced by telling her story, which is "The Embrace of Cadmus." It makes perfect sense to me, so I think I'm going with that. Of course, I need to ask Michelle's permission before I proceed. "The Embrace" was written for Michelle many moons ago and Maria/Eve is based on her. It was a gift in response to a very disturbing and lovely vignette Michelle had written for me. I can't not let this tale stand alone and not be included in the arch story. Besides, Eve's inclusion in the group that's intent on overpowering Cadmus would charge the group with even more purpose. What Cadmus did to her, what he turned her into, is unforgivable. Her desire for retribution would be good for the "feel" of the story, I believe. And it would also give me a chance to give more information about the Augury of Gideon.

Aunt Tudi and I are now viewing Law & Order: Criminal Intent. It's every night's business. What NBC needs to do is create an L&O cable channel that would show nothing but the shows from the Law & Order franchise. That would be damned groovy. When there was nothing else of interest on TV, you could always depend on the L&O channel to provide great entertainment.

I got up way early this morning and tried to call Johnna as a favour to Janice, who was out of town. All I got was thrown directly into Johnna's voice mail, so that didn't work. I was supposed to call Uncle Michael too but, when I called Janice to give her the bad news about Johnna, Janice said she'd go ahead and call Uncle Michael. I helped Aunt Tudi with her insulin shot, then we both lay back down until around 11 AM. Yay for sleeping late!

There used to be these Peanuts books called Happiness Is.... and each page was dedicated to something that defined happiness. The one I remember out of all those pages is "Happiness is.....waking up only to find you have two more hours to sleep." I think I remember that one because it's the epitome of where my happiness lies. So this morning was one of those "Happiness is" mornings. Nothing thrills me more than to get up early just to let myself know that I can lie back down and sleep like a wee babe.

Once I drug my lazy arse out of bed, I got online and booked the flight to England. Instead of flying out of Charleston, we're flying out of GSP because the prices weren't that different. I'd be paying that much out on gasoline for the car to drive down to Charleston, and I'd be putting more wear and tear on the car that I can really ill afford since I can't get a new car until I'm back in the Land of Employment. Since I'm choosing school instead, that's gonna be a while. To cut the price a little more, I changed the return date from the 19th to the 18th. That works for me price-wise and it also works out for falkenna 'cos she has a concert to attend on the 19th. I sent the itinerary to falkenna, then squee'd to myself in a very quiet, Sithly way.

Later in the afternoon, clumsycake came over for a visit. We made tentative plans for a smoothie and movie party for next week or the week after. Oh, and I converted her to Sweet'n'Salty Almond Granola Bars. After letting her try a bar and seeing her have a religious experience, I gave her a box of them and she went home a happy camper.

After clumsycake left, I got cleaned up and went to visit Diane. I dried my hair upside down too long, so I ended up looking like an anime character no matter how much I curled my hair under. Lesson learned. Anyway, I had a nice visit with Diane, about an hour. We caught up with each other and she returned my LOST and Dune DVDs. After making tentative plans to go to Asheville one day next week, we hugged and I bid her adieu. I need to see if clumsycake wants to go with us to Asheville. ::makes note to call her tomorrow::

I left Diane's and went over to Llew's. He was completely enamoured with my hair, which is cool, 'cos he was a little fearful about my losing the long hair. Mens..... He was so thrilled with the new 'do and I was so thrilled at his being thrilled that we ended up kindling the flames and bumping mighty mighty uglies with much enthusiasm. We then tried to go fly, but Llew's plane was dead and it'd take too long to charge and still have daylight. So we went to Subway instead. He got a teriyaki chicken sammich, I got Aunt Tudi a club combo, and myself a cheese steak (which I couldn't eat, so there's Aunt Tudi's lunch tomorrow).

Whilst in the kitchen putting up my glasses in my purse, I beheld Smidgen, Shmoop, and Motley gathered around the food bowl like the loving sisters they are. So I snagged a picture, which once again exposed Motley for the demon she is. Mind, she's pretty much fully grown, so Motley should have been named Smidgen, who is a big honkin' hunka hunka cat muscle.

So here I am watching the new Doctor Who and it's teleporting me back to the early 80s when I was still convinced that I'd grow up to be a journalist and novelist in London. My favourite shows were viewed through a veil of television snow on Asheville's PBS station ('cos the local PBS had no British shows in the 80s). Saturdays were dedicated to Doctor Who (Tom Baker's and Peter Davison's mostly, but there were some Jon Pertwee's thrown in there for good measure) from 12 PM 'til 4 then, at 8 PM, came All Creatures Great and Small. During the week there was Fawlty Towers either at 9 PM or 11 PM. In 1983, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy edged in on a little of the good Doctor's time, being featured from 3 'til 4 each week until the series ran out.

Those were some of my happier and more hopeful days. I was still a dreamer then, and I still had faith in myself and my fellow humans. There seemed to be an innocence I associate with those shows and that era in my life, a freshness that can never be recaptured.

But it can almost be.

When I heard that theme song, that glorious theme song for Doctor Who, all modernised and enriched with orchestrations, my heart fluttered and I was 15 years old again. I'm hoping to at least visit London soon and I've written a book, albeit one that still needs a godawful amount of work. Truth be told, I'm probably more like Basil Fawlty now than the Doctor, Zaphod or Trillian, or James the veterinarian, but that's okay. I am who I am. And it makes me smile that I can still feel that thrill of newness and the well-known unknown.

Now I need to go find pictures of Anthony Andrews from the Sebastian Flyte years.

That song, "Too Much Time on My Hands" by Styx: I'm starting to relate to it. There's a line in it, near the beginning, that goes: Is it any wonder I'm not crazy? Is it any wonder I'm sane at all? That's me and I came to grips with the truth of it earlier today when I started contemplating compound eyes and what effects on society having them would have. Yeah, I know that it's thought that the facets of the compound eye are communicated as a singular image instead of a whole lot of the same image, but I was pondering on the multiple-image eyesight during my theories regarding, say.....wasp society.

I chose the wasp 'cos I saw one on the front porch a few days ago, it's teardrop arse dangling an inch from its body as it burrrrrzed about lazily, rubbing in the promise of Spring without the appearance of Winter. Sensing my resentment, the wasp eventually floated away.

For the purposes of my theory, let's say that wasps have 10 facets on each compound eye. If each facet worked independently, that would mean that a wasp would then see 20 of everything. So wasp math would be based on increments of 20. 20-40-60-80-100 would be like our 1-2-3-4-5. This would also mean that wasps think there are way more of humans about than there really are. When it stings just one of us, 20 of us chase after it while they all freak out and swell up. It would be kinda terrifying to think that a posse hellbent on your destruction was just right around the corner. After Humanity has destroyed all the natural habitat, wasps will see the last tree alive as at least 20 trees, the beginnings of a festive little forest! All nouns would be plurals because the wasp would not understand the concept of any form of singularity, seeing everything in plural and being a member of a hive mind. When one wasp would tell another wasp it was heading back to the hive, s/he'd might say: "Yo, so we're heading back to the homes. See y'all there!"

So. Too much time on my hands. The mind is turning to overcooked oatmeal.popfiend made note of my mention of "pre-Cable" in one of my posts from yesterday. To those of you born after, say....1978.....:

There was a time in history, not so very long ago, when there was no such thing as Cable Television

We were lucky if we had 4 channels in our neck of the woods: the ABC affiliate, the CBS affiliate, the NBC affiliate, and the local PBS station.

Bugs Bunny cartoons were always shown from 9 'til 11 every Saturday morning, and none of the violent or rude parts were cut from them so as not to damage our delicate little child psyches.

We tuned our TV stations in with a set of "rabbit ears" antennae that sat on top of the television. Sometimes the cunning use of foil would be employed, most often using one of the kids as antennae extensions for better reception.

Our TVs usually didn't have remote controls. The remote control of most families' households was the youngest member of the family, who was ordered to get up and flip the channel using the channel dial attached to the front of the TV.

By the same token, channel surfing had yet to be invented, as it was a result of TV remotes and the wide choice of shows afforded by the coming of the Great Cable God.

Most kids shows were reserved for the weekend, but were often pre-empted or "joined in progress" thanks to the many sports events also reserved for the weekend.

If you missed a show, you missed it! We didn't have VCRs and re-runs were few and far between.

TV Guides were pamphlet-style, bound with 2 to 3 staples with long descriptions of each TV show because there were so few channels and not that many shows.

When the announcer mentioned a TV "Event," he was usually quite accurate. There was few things to inspire excitement, so the "Events" we enjoyed were truly that: EVENTS. A special episode of "Friends" isn't an EVENT. "Roots," on the other hand, IS!

We had no choice but to watch The Olympics when they were being held. One network showed the coverage and all the other two networks covered that covered. PBS would discuss it all.

The Jerry Lewis Telethon was looked-forward-to by many people desperate to break up the monotony. Actual celebrities would participate because they had nowhere else to go.

The stations went off the air usually at Midnight, maybe 1 AM. "The Star Spangled Banner" was played and images of America would be displayed. Afterward, viewers could enjoy the sleep-inducing TV snow and white noise. An excellent example of this would be the beginning of the movie Poltergeist. Carol Ann could never be possessed in the Cable Age. No TV snow!

The Christmas shows like "Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer" and "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town" were always shown on CBS and often pre-empted in order to finish showing a football game that had gone into overtime.

When the President spoke, every channel showed it. You missed your shows and had one of two choices regarding his address: 1) You could watch it or 2) You could turn off the TV. Thank the Mighties for Cable, now that we no longer have a president but, instead, a Dick Tater to whom only the mentally and ethically challenged want to listen. I can switch to the Cartoon Network and watch censored Bugs Bunny cartoons.

For musical programming, we had "American Bandstand," "Soul Train," "Friday Night videos," and "The King Biscuit Flower Hour." MTV didn't exist. It's sad that MTV ceased to exist over a decade ago.

In the mornings, we had no choice but game shows. In the early afternoons, we had no choice but soap operas. Late afternoons were dedicated to syndicated shows, most usually Gunsmoke or The Andy Griffith Show. There was always local news at 6 and national news at 6:30. Same at 11 and 11:30. News wasn't at our fingertips 24/7. All sorts of shit could happen and we wouldn't know til hours later.

"Sesame Street" was the kids' show, then "The Electric Company" (for older and hipper kids). It only came on twice a day and that was it for the day. Kids had to enterain themselves or each other until it was time for more boob tube. Barney wasn't even an idea. TV wasn't a good babysitter back then.

It sometimes took years for a movie to come to television and, then, it would be edited for time and content. People were let know what special movies they had to look forward to in the Fall Issue of the TV Guide.

Board games were one of the main forms of family entertainment when nothing good was on TV. People did more with each other then.

Thanks to my Moon, I've been in bed for the majority of the day eating Imitrex like Pez and using Riley's butt for a pillow. I rescheduled with Llew for tomorrow when we might actually get some flying in and have logged onto the Internet now to send the doc Aunt Tudi's blood glucose levels and hunt for sexual predators in Duncan. No, I'm not looking for a date. It's for Aunt Tudi 'cos she's paranoid n'shit.

I had a nightmare this morning. I dreamt that I went to Wal-Mart for some supplies as Aunt Tudi was in the hospital. I picked her up several DVDs whilst there, then went out to my car, which was Johnna's car that I had recently purchased from her. Before I started the car, this dude got in the passenger's side and started sprinkling lighter fluid all over the car seat. I told him to stop it and began wrestling with him, trying to get him out of the car. His first attempt at igniting the fluid with a match didn't work, but it worked the second time and I jumped out of the car cursing at the man. He just smiled and continued his silence until I pulled out my camera. "I'm taking a picture of you, asshole, so the cops will know who to look for!" His smile faltered and he told me to hand over the camera. I told him no and he started chasing me as I ran back into Wal-Mart, snapping pictures behind me. I was begging for help and some associates took me to a security room. Shortly, two detectives came in to question me about the incident. I told how into Law & Order I was and asked to which cop on the shows did they relate. One said Brisco, the other said Goren. I showed the pictures and they asked me to email them to the police station and gave me the email address. They told me that my car wasn't the only one that had been torched, that the dude had burned several cars in a line in the parking lot. Freaky. Later, I was in a security room at the mall of all places, talking to two fellas about something that seemed quite unrelated. When I opened the door to the outside, there the firebug was. The dudes grabbed hold of him and held him while I called the detectives to come pick him up. And I took more pictures of him just to rub it in that he'd been caught.

Sci-Fi is showing disaster flicks today. It seems like all they ever show on Saturdays are disaster flicks or giant bug/mutant animal flicks. I want an Outer Space Saturday or a High Fantasy Friday. The killer beasts and sundering earth motif has gotta freakin' go.

In a break from regular Friday tradition, I'm posting some quizzes. I have a right since my head hurts.

I would rather stick my head in a men's prison toilet and suck on the water ring than watch that new show about a music exec called Love Monkey. There's no doubt in my mind that they romanticise the music biz and make the people who work in it seem like cool folks. Yes, there are some cool folks in the music biz, but they are far outnumbered by the dickheads and shitweasels, most of with whom I had the infinite displeasure of having to interact. ::hate hate hate seethe seethe seethe::

Why anyone would want to make a show about a music biz exec is beyond me. Maybe Sony BMG paid of someone at CBS to front some propaganda into the collective subconscious. They sure as hell need the good press and are desperate for a sympathetic representative.

Speaking of the music biz, American Idol 1012 came on a little while ago. What a waste of airwaves that is. All those reality shows are a waste. The sooner they fall out of the fashion, the happier I shall be.

Got a new blurb and piccie from Barry for the website. It should be up and running by tomorrow.

I just spotted Kevin Smith in a Law & Order episode. How cool is that? I never fail to notice eye candy....

Right now, I feel like yak shite warmed up on a broken hotplate in a bare room on the skids. Yeah, just like that. It's my fault. I'm not getting into it. This is just to mark the day, so I'll know when looking back.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better for me. It has to be. HAS. TO. BE.

I'm logging off in a few minutes. Can't bear to be too still for too long. It's driving me mad.

That's what I'm listening to right now. The song by Stereo MCs. I've always loved this song. LOVED.IT. "You must blind if you can't see the gaping hole called reality." Rock on!I just saw a commercial that featured killer whales swimming gracefully over a gigantic flowery meadow. Dunno what they were advertising, but it was very pretty. Speaking of whales, seeing the advert reminded me of a square floppy record of humpback whalesong I got out of a National Geographic magazine when I was a kid. It was 33.3, but I played it on 45. Sped up humpback whalesong sounds like chirping birds. I've often wanted to get birdsong and play it on a slower speed. Betcha anything they sound like humpback whales. Just another example of how we're all...connected!Am I the only one humiliated to the bone that WWE "rastlers" are going to Afghanistan to entertain "our troops?" Such spectacles pretty much prove the point of many Muslim clerics that America is a font of evil, don't they? What "our troops" need is some proper entertainment and little bit of culture, not to mention gobs and gobs of edumacation (just trying to speak the new layngige of our fearless fuhrer) so they won't go blindly into combat believing the lies they've been told. Ugh...In my migraine drug-induced haze, I dreamed that I was having nightmares from which I couldn't wake up. So, in my dream, I was unable to escape the dreams I was having. It was quite distressing, as the nightmares in the dream were so real and so terrifying, I finally woke up in a cold sweat. Sometimes the Imitrex does that to me ~ keeps me in a weirdo psycho-billy state of mind. I didn't fully wake up from everything 'til around 5 PM this afternoon. I may be up all night. "From the mind of Joss Whedon" says the advert for the release of the Serenity DVD. They talk about this man like he's the fucking Messiah. I just don't get it. So he's a relatively good writer who can create some nicely-developed characters. He's not all that. Just my opinion. Note to Joss: not every sci-fi and/or fantasy aficianado thinks you're all that. If you're anything like the folks who pump you up so much, please get over yourself immediately. Thank you.

And the wolf in the new Hall's Mentholyptus commercial reminds me of Darth Maul. I want to snog that wolf. Oh yeah.

I think I watch too many commercials too closely to not be a raging consumer. I think I'm paying more attention this year because two adverts feature ELO. Jeff Lynne will always have my undivided attention.The procession of freaks and losers on Law & Order: SVU is sometimes overwhelming. This is, by far, my favourite show in the Law & Order franchise. The cops are visibly distressed by the work they have to do and I find that refreshing. They are far from invincible. They are sometimes as fucked up as the people they investigate. I dig it. They're always being told to go home for a week and see a therapist. That'd be the type of cop I'd be, I think. I'd be like Stabler, just one step away from freaking out and going on killing spree at Rikers. Whee! It's probably good I'm pursuing education in the animal care field instead of criminal justice.Before I wash my hair, I'm going to give my car a lube job with my head. Yeah. Before I do that, I think I'm gonna make a poll to ensure the misery of all my readers.

I feel just a tad better, having eaten and taken some medicine. I've had to take off my flannel shirt and am now in a tee. Not sure if it's a fever or if it's just hotter than hell in this house. I'm trying to stay online and keep my mind busy from focusing too much on my current Garmonbozia. Of course, that means that I'll write about it. Bleh.

Peter Jackson has lost a phenomenal amount of weight. He's now no longer as adorable as he used to be. I like large men. I prefer them that way. That's just my taste. Peter Jackson always reminded me of Xavier. Now? Meh. I'm still not certain if I want to see King Kong. I never liked any of the previous Kong movies, feeling very bad for the giant ape. Really, I don't need any more encouragement in my misanthropy. If the movie ends differently from the others, I may consider seeing it. If not.... well, I can think of a number of other flicks I'd rather go see.

I'd like to have the entire series of Twin Peaks on DVD. That'd be groovy. It's been years since I saw the show and, even though I despised how it ended, it's still one of those television programs that defined a large chunk of my life.

Motley is now wide awake and ready to rumble. We'll be pulling her out of the pen soon and will let her explore the house at her leisure. My aim is to have her totally out of the pen by Wednesday. She's really too large for it and, since she's no longer contagious and seems to be getting on with the other beasties well, I want her out and free to be herself.

I'm hungry. For the first time today, I'm hungry. Grapes are in order.

There's a show coming on TLC tonight called "Nap Attack." I'm interested in watching it because I have nap attacks. They're terrifying on the road. I've actually had to pull off into a parking lot and take a quick nap because I could literally not keep my eyes open. They come in clusters, too. I can go for weeks having these nap attacks like every other day, then go for months without having one.

The last one I had was in early October.

The only problem I have with watching the show is that I'm highly suggestible and am afraid I'll be convinced I have narcolepsy after viewing the doco. I'm the type of person who'd be certain she has prostate cancer after watching a news piece on its symptoms. Yeah..that bad.

There are some days I'm tempted to convince people I have Tourettes Syndrome just so I can curse people in public and make a scene of my rampant misanthropy without severe ramifications. People will just say, "Oh, she's got Tourettes. Don't mind her." And I can be left to my own devices and wallow in my ocean of expletives.

National Geographic Channel is showing this documentary on exorcism. It's thought that a lot of people who were accused of being witches or being possessed by the devil in the middle ages were actually just victims of Tourettes Syndrome. I wonder how many people diagnosed with Tourettes today are actually possessed by demons! Surely it can go both ways.While some lucky folks are enjoying seasonal snowfall and are prancing about in their Winter Wonderland, I am experiencing balmy temperatures and thunderstorms. Mind, I love thunderstorms. I adore lightning and I'm inspired by tempests, but not in December. I want some frickin' Winter for once, dammit! I'm tired of living in the South where the only inclement weather we get is the occasional ice storm. I want a buttload of snow, a foot or more!

The last really fantastic snowfall we got was in 1988. It was in January of that year and the storm started when I was at work on third shift. The snow was coming down so thick and fast, we couldn't see our hands before our faces. Timothy told us that, if he did a donut in the parking lot, we could go home. So we all gathered outside and watched Tim do a fantastic donut in his orange Cherokee Chief. I barely got home that night. By the time I got in, there was about three inches on the ground, and I only lived 2.5 miles from work. When morning came, we had over a foot of snow and the whole of the Upstate was essentially shut down for over a week. It was glorious.Watching this Evangelical exorcise demons, then accept tithes in the form of Mastercard, makes me want to manifest a demon of my own and go kick his ass in the name of god. Surely drawing on demonic power to off a shithead who is victimising the most ignorant among us is doing god's work, right? The end would justify the means in such a circumstance, I'll wager. People like this Evangelical deserve to be pounded like a veal cutlet on network television. That would be prime entertainment!I'm having this undeniable desire to go camping. I think when I get the 401k money, I'm going to purchase a tent and two sleeping bags for the purpose of taking Aunt Tudi up to the Smokies for a camping expedition. I'd prefer to go back to Mills River, but I hear that area is now being "developed" and is no longer accessible by campers. But there are abundant camping opportunities in Western North Carolina. It's just a matter of finding that perfect spot.

There's just something supremely peaceful about dwelling in the forest and cooking beans over an open fire. And, if you're lucky, going to sleep to the sound of rushing river water right beside you. Yes, I must go camping this Spring.Right before I fell asleep last night, I looked down at myself and this is what I saw: Chester at my feet, Shmoop between my knees, Riley up near my head, and Smidgen on my chest. I looked like a scene edited out of an old Hee Haw show. It'll be the same thing tonight. The beasties may change positions, but they'll all be on the bed with me, enjoying the warm cosiness of my blankets and watching a movie with me. Shmoop loves to watch TV.

I can't seem to immerse in the story line for being so busy ogling Stuart Townsend and pondering all the deliciously nasty things I'd like do to him, with, on him, and in front of him.

Mind, I adored the original "Night Stalker" and will learn to love this show, too but, for right now I'm only watching this new show because I'm a lusty wench with self-control.

Damn Charlize Theron! Not only did she ruin the best song Journey ever recorded, but now she can lay claim to this beautiful Elfin man! Life just ain't fair, man!

Anyway..I'm beginning to feel a tad better. The soreness has gone away a bit, so I'm looking forward to an even better day tomorrow. My suddenly pleasant feeling occurred at the precise moment of seeing our new Kolchak eyeballing a story as only Kolchak could. Still though....even with the blondish hair, Stuart looked better in Queen of the Damned. There's just something about a lithe, predatory man with a rich accent and a voice that makes you want to roll about, all Pentecostal. Wait....didn't I just describe someone else?

I am at the mercy of my constantly babbling mind. This is why I take Lunesta. It's just enough to make my hyperactive brain and squoosh it into slumber juice. I still wake up an average of 3 times a night when I take one, but can actually get back to sleep. Without, I may achieve REM once or twice a week, and I feel as though astral Sumo wrestlers have had their way with me repeatedly. So....Lunesta? Roger Ebert gives it a thumbs up and a Buddy Christ finger point.

It's important that I sleep well tonight, for tomorrow is going to be rather busy. We've got to take the three dogs, and Smidgen and Shmoop to Dr. Patch's office for a week's boarding. Afterward, I need to balance my bank checkbook and pull out a little road money for our trip. I'm sure Aunt Tudi will want to scrub the entirety of our domicile with a tooth brush, cos she OCD like whoa. I need to charge some batteries and pack. Since I'm gonna be gone to the Father Unit's abode for a week, packing may take a little longer this time. I usually spend 5 minutes throwing things in bags for a weekend visit. This time, I may have to take 10 minutes. Aunt Tudi hates that, but she folds her panties before placing them in the dirty clothes hamper. What a fruit!

OMG! "Night Stalker" is featuring "More Heat than Light" by The Veils (Barry Andrews' son, Finn). The song is written by Finn, Barry, and Carl Marsh and there's a Shriekback version of the tune in addition to the Veils' version. Any show that gives props to my beloved Andrews fellas is sehr gut with me. Groovy music to accompany the holy vision that is Stuart Townsend.....I think my sex drive just got a wee jolt. This requires deep thought.

There's something wrong with you when a song can inspire such passion in a person hardly fazed by much of anything. If I could filter that passion in some other way, maybe I could do something that might benefit the world....not necessarily humans....but the world. Instead I remain a sofa spud and get all twitchy at the sound Finn rockin' out.

I'd rather be in a ditch, covered in petrol, and on fire than to be here in The Pit right now, listening to the Feudal Mistress be self-important over the phones. She hasn't shut her pie-hole all damned day long. Speaking of the Feudal Mistress, I've decided to do something thoroughly petty and immature after I'm in possession of my severance check. Tuesday morning, I packed up the remainder of my goodies in one of those bankers boxes the Feudal Mistress said she prefer I not use so, after I have my check in hand and cashed, I'm gonna get Aunt Tudi to take a picture of me holding the bankers box, and then I'm gonna email it to the Feudal Mistress with a sound wave of Nelson Muntz going "HA-HA."For some ungodly reason, Aunt Tudi and I have watched "Family Feud" for the past couple of evenings. When I was a kid and watched it during the Richard Dawson years, when the entire stage needed to be scrubbed with bleach, I was always so happy to get the number one answer. Not so anymore. If you get the number one answer on "Family Feud," this means that you're part of the herd mentality much more than you would care to admit. If I lost miserably on "Family Feud" because I never got any of the survey answers, I'd be proud and proclaim my individuality before the studio audience and viewers nationwide. Then again, being a contestant on "Family Feud" would pretty much scream for all to witness that I and my family are nothing but drones caught up in the icky icky glue that is American Pop Culture. I have to say that the new "Family Feud" pretty much sucks. They've changed the music and the families that compete are high-fiving empty-headed weebles. I do like Richard Karn, though. I always liked him on "Home Improvement." He's my "type," or one of them.After work, I will be afforded the supreme honour of going to Wal-Mart for an hour or so before picking up Chester from the vet's. Oh, how I love to spend my time at Wally World! Again....I'd rather be in a ditch, covered in petrol, on fire. Thankfully, we don't have much to pick up, so I won't have to be there for very long. My homicidal nature is honed to a nice fine point whilst in the presence of so many Rednecks in a confined area, so the sooner I get out of there, the better off I'll be.My squeaky chair has begun to vex me. I thought about asking Lonnie to send a dude up with some WD-40 but, really, why bother now? I only have 9 hours and 10 minutes total to suffer the noise.

It got colder than expected today and my legs are like two freakin' popscicle sticks. Sitting here doing nothing on LJ, watching 'Keeping up Appearances' (gotta love them thar Britcoms!), and trying to get warm.

It's really just good to be home. Work was atrocious and promises to be worse tomorrow.

What would be nice? A month long vacation far far away from everything.....except warmth.