Posts Tagged ‘LeBron James’

It’s bad enough that LeBron James has gone from The Chosen One to the most certified choke artist in sports history. That’s hardly surprising considering his continuous and endless string of tank job performances in The NBA Finals. Particularly, in the fourth quarter. However, now, unbelievably, James is turning more and more unlikeable. As even comedians like Stephen Colbert have pointed out, nobody roots for the “overdog” any more.

At the Game Six postgame press conference on Sunday, James was asked if it bothered him that so many people hated his guts. James, who had just virtually singlehandedly choked away an NBA Championship, had an interesting response. He answered the question by blasting everybody who makes less money than him which, of course, would be 99.99999999999999999 percent of the human race.

LeBron chided the haters by pointing out that, although he doesn’t have a ring, when he wakes up tomorrow he’ll still be living the good life. Meanwhile, his brokeass critics will still be living their shitty little lives and be in the “real world.”

Are you one of the few people on earth who does not yet hate basketball player LeBron James? Here’s a couple more opportunities to reevaluate your position.

Nothing says “I’m a douche” more than a 12-foot high monogrammed birthday cake with a crown on top of it. Unless you bought the cake for YOURSELF, for a party you charged people to get into, then Tweeted a picture of said cake. LeBron did get shut out trying to find a $500,000 sponsor to pay him for an 11 city “birthday tour.”

Need another reason to hate LeBron? Apparently he and his minions got the awesome Stanford Band dis-invited from last night’s Orange Bowl. According to MSNBC, Orange Bowl “administrators” decided to bar the Stanford Marching Unit Team (a.k.a. SMUT) from performing at halftime of the game. They reportedly were afraid that the band would do one of their famous parody hit pieces after they they announced that their halftime show would feature “Recent Events in the Pro Sports World in Miami.”

Geeze, I wonder who that might be mocking? Previous Stanford Band objects of mockery include “tributes” to USC alums O.J. Simpson (featuring a wheeled out white van covered in bloody hand prints), and Girls Gone Wild founder/“Douche of the Decade” Joe Francis. During the Francis tribute the band announced to the crowd, “It takes a special kind of man to be wanted for sexual harassment, drug trafficking, tax evasion, prostitution, child abuse and disruptive flatulence.” The Stanford Band has also been banned by Notre Dame after they once used a giant crucifix as a baton.

The world was denied a classic performance because Miami city officials were afraid one of the town’s athletes would be mocked and ridiculed. Boo!!!

Thursday night was a bad day to be from Cleveland. In his mega-hyped return, former Ohio hero LeBron James, now the most hated man in C-town history, made his return to play against his former team the Cleveland Cavaliers. Things didn’t work out so well for Cleveland.

James and his new Miami Heat team spanked the Cavaliers so badly that the sellout crowd, that had wanted to explode, ended up spending most of the game in stunned silence. Final score: Miami 118 Cleveland 90. James finished with 38 points in just three quarters. He outscored the Cavaliers entire starting lineup.

The Cavaliers were so pathetic that SI writer Ian Thomsen says James turned the entire city of Cleveland, their owner, players, and fans into “victims.” After the game James was such a “preening dickhead” that Fox Sports columnist Jason Whitlock called him a “lost cause.” Whitlock said he was giving up on James because of “the classless way he exited the city” of Cleveland. James also got killed in a variety of national chatrooms.

When The Three Kings arrived via free agency this offseason it was supposed to make the Miami Heat this unbeatable juggernaut of an NBA team. Some experts predicted a 70-win team that would make a run at the best record in league history. Instead, LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh have combined to make the Heat a mediocre NBA team. At least so far this young season.

After a loss Thursday night, the Heat are a shockingly unimpressive 5-4. Worse, they are universally being labeled as “soft.” There is already talk of NBA legend Pat Riley leaving the front office and returning as coach to replace Erik Spoelstra.

Miami Heat star LeBron James proclaimed Wednesday “Hater Day” on his Twitter page. James says he is motivated by the Tweets that “haters” send to him.

One post called James a “fraud.” Another Tweet referred to James as a “bitch” because of his decision to leave the Cleveland Cavaliers. James even released one Tweet he received that was completely racist, calling him “a big nosed big lipped bug eyed N****.”

A south Florida newspaper has the story today that homeless advocates in the Miami area have turned down a donation of LeBron James Cleveland Cavaliers jerseys. A spokeswoman for the Miami Coalition for the Homeless said there was the perception that the Cavaliers jerseys were “tainted goods.”

Even Miami’s mayor was against the jerseys. Miami officials were reportedly against the concept of “Here-take a bunch of stuff we hate!” A Cleveland charitible organization got the idea of sending the LeBron jerseys to Miami after seeing video of Cleveland fans burning his old Cavs uniforms.