Listen Carefully

Weekend Review: Trisha Cooks, McConaughey Walks, Jay-Z Rocks

For the purposes of full disclosure, the TV remote and I are buds. We move around together . . . a lot. We typically don’t stay in one place too long for fear of missing something somewhere else. It’s a gamble. We take chances. On occasion, we find “hilarious.”

Trisha Yearwood has a cooking show. No shit. That’s crazy, right? Her family is on it with her. We watched them bake some bacon-wrapped Vidalia onions with about a cup of real butter packed in the middle (Garth probably loves those, nom, nom, nom). The whole thing was insanely odd from the outset. At some point, Trisha gets her sister Beth to tell some lame ass story about Beth answering a phone call from Don Henley in a hotel room years ago. Well . . . here’s where the story gets really good (no, it doesn’t). BETH – see – had a HUGE crush on Don Henley (ZOMG!DONHENLEY!DRMBOAT!). She just could not BELIEVE that DON HENLEY was calling to talk to TRISHA! Gee! Such stardom! That was pretty much the end. Dumb. Story.

As it turns out – I had completely discounted the Yearwood’s TV production mastery – they were just segueing (YES! TV WORDSINESS) to a music video where the Don Henley dream boat was singing alongside ol’ Trisha.

You saw it, didn’t you? Hard to miss. In all their girlish flirtation over Don Henley, no one in the entire Yearwood clan felt it appropriate to point out that Matthew McConaughey was Walkaway Joe?! Destined to deceive her?! He’s apparently just the “wrong kind of paradise” in their eyes and not worth a f’n mention. After the video, right? That’s when they’ll move flawlessly from Henley to a quick quip about a shirtless Matthew McConaughey. No? Nope. Just mom taking the onions out of the oven. Dang. It’s like he wasn’t even there.

We’re certainly not proud of seeing this, but until tomorrow’s new releases give us something to scream about, we felt like sharing. We’ll leave you with this 8 minute piece of “fucking incredible” from the weekend.