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Hey there, Memo here from mideast!I am 50 yo, had 3 LTR for the last 25 years, 7 years with my wife, 12 years with the first bf, then 3 years with the last one.(It doesn mean that I had been with them only.)As an always safe-sexer, a true beleiver of LTR...Been diagnosed poz on monday at 5.30pm, just after 5 months breaking up with an LTR of 3 years. I know the date got infected 5th of September, highfever and sweatty nights for 3-4 days started at 27 sept... thought it was just bcs I got cold because it went away easly with some antibiotics and pain killers! My best friend who was tested at the end of august he was negative, been diagnosed poz at 11 am in the same day, and he worned me I should have a test. Had it done right away! I was poz too! It was a weird situation... The we started to recall the guys he had been together in september...BANG! With the guy I had spent the night of 5th of september was the the matching one! They spent the night of 23rd of september! I had it safe but he told me that he was drunk and didnt remember if he used condoms or not! Thats why I can tell when I got the infection exactly! Actually it doesnt matter, what happened is happened!

When I heard the voice saying "doctor wants to see you immidiately" over the phone,I said to myself "Oh man! Get ready to hear that you are poz!" When the doc told me that I was poz, I just asked him So whats next, what should I do now? . I felt no anger, no regrets, no panic, ne depression, at least I knew I would not die like 1980's, there are medicines to live a normal(ish) life, came home start searching on the web... I found the poz.com, it was 7 pm in the same day, have stareted to read the forum, still reading and learning a lot. Guys from the first moment I have heard, the only thing I could think was I could never have a relationship again, there would be no one sharing my life! Seems like its my only concern about being poz... AM I WEIRD???

Guys from the first moment I have heard, the only thing I could think was I could never have a relationship again, there would be no one sharing my life! Seems like its my only concern about being poz... AM I WEIRD???

Dating and love fears - that's pretty common, not weird at all. Not true, either. You will have dates and love again.

Also, the other point - saying dating and love is the ONLY concern you can feel. Well, that's a bit unusual as a reaction but I wouldn't call it weird. Hey no reaction to a diagnosis is weird.

Probably as the "new normal" sinks in over the months, you'll discover other concerns, besides the dating games. Its not a walk in the park, even if its a "chronic manageable" condition.

Just hang onto your upbeat attitude and your calm, they will serve you well when you encounter a challenge.

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“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Well...May be I couldnt be clear while saying my concern. I was not mentioning dates... When I get the result my first decition was "no one will know!"I was trying to say I would be alone while fighting. I am very much aware that it is not a walk in the park, I've already learned that its a very serious health condition and "thanks to the forum" will have some very serious problems.I just accepted the irreversable situation in an analitic way, instead of crying, feeling guilty etc. It doesnt mean that I dont have fears and millions of questions. I dont know what happens when the challenges appear infront of me. Most probably my brain blocking the heaviest part to keep my mental health in a good stage. You must be right, it will take time to get to used to the new life and/or to realize the truth!Thanks for answering me

Feeling guilty is also common enough but again its sort of useless and not even very logical. Anyway, that will fade. There are lots of silver linings already in your situation. Being analytical is good. Eventually you'll feel what you need to feel. Also a plus is that you are diagnosed so soon after infection. Being directly in care will help you make the very least of the impact of the virus on your body. And also as you know its 2013 so it really is a chronic manageable condition and your life will go on with adjustments but not necessarily huge detours.

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“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Yes you can have a relationship, it might be good for you to focus now in yourself, what you want to do and your approach to HIV, like decide when to start medication etc, you might as well feel different emotions as time goes by, like anger etc, but it all shall pass and when it settles you might find someone to share your life with.

I don't know about itchy, i got itchy months before i tested poz but at that time my doctor said i might have been infected for years... and about being tired maybe it's your mind dealing with it.

I got my CD4 and CD8 numbers and I will see my doc tomorrow. I have to wait a couple of days for the viral load numbers. Anti HIV 1&2 and p24 : Poz (14,56 s/co)CD4: 863- 43.7%, CD8: 527 26.7%, CD4/CD8: 1.63Are these ok? Do I have to start the meds? And is it time to move to "Living with HIV" from "I Just tested Poz"

Your numbers look really good and do not indicate any need for medications. Once you have your viral load, you can discuss any other concerns with your doctor.

Adjusting to being poz is a journey and if you feel that you will benefit more, from posting in the Living With HIV forum, feel free to do so. We added this forum for the newly infected, because some newly infected, feel more welcome among others experiencing the initial reactions to becoming poz.

As always, please feel free to post whatever you need to post, as we do not judge anyone here.

Thanks guys, its really great to have you here, I really feel like surrounded by friends listening and helping me. Tomorrow I will have some tests (labs and tests are something I get to used to it I guess) and will get the opinions of the doc. I will share whap happenes.

Obviously it's between you and your doctor, but be advised that current US guidelines for treating HIV call for starting antiretroviral treatment regardless of CD4+ count. There is a lot of new evidence that starting early leads to better outcomes both for communities and individuals. Look into it before dismissing medication. The newer pills can be (can be) a piece of cake.

Hey guys...That was hell of a day Went to my doc, she said my CD values were almost perfect, but we should wait for the VL results, most probably VL would be a little high bcs I ve been infected just 2 months ago! She asked me if I want to start meds now or later after telling the plus and minus sides of both, and she adviced to start right after getting the all test results! I will start meds immediately.Hope that is a good decition.Went to the lab, gave full of tubes and tubes and tubes of blood, saying " man you should get used to it! Kidneys, liver, lungs, cholesterol and lots of other things will be checked. Should wait for the VL numbers. So I have 10 more days to wait.Felling good, no depression, no panic even I felt good when ou guys and the doc said the CD values are good ... So I registered a new way of happines in my brain...

I am writing these things here and it really makes me feel better sharing with someone, I know u r there ...thanks for being there

And I have to go to a set-up date tonight which has been set before my diagnosis by a mutual friend...It was too late to cancel, I dont know what to do! Telling him that I am poz is impossible.Any comments or ideas will be appriciated!

I know some of you guys may say this is such a light issue, but some light issues sometimes help us to feel ok, to forget, to dally huh?

You don't have to tell your date that you are HIV+ unless you are planning on sex at the first date. You could use the date as an opportunity to divert your mind and just enjoy yourself. Have fun. Kudos you can even manage a date. Good for you.

Starting soon after infection is surely full of advantages. As long as you are set up for adherence (financially and psychologically) go forward and conquer.

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“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Thanks mecch,Doc said the first month could be challenging bcs of the side effects and if every thing goes well my body will get to used to have the new chems in my stream and will start feel better. She said most probably we would go for stribilt but its up to the result of the Resistance test.I am "positively" sure that I will sleep alone tonight, I took a decition that am not going to have sex till my VL will be UD! Then a bottle of champaigne, lots of care and a very safe and pleasurable night as a reward of dealing well with the new life And one of my decition...It will change my life in a way but I wont let it to change me!I was a happy, cheerful, good to be together guy! I wont let it to take my laughter and I wont let it to make me unhappy!I am still me and will always be even in my 80!

Hey JHkeep calm, be yourself and fight... as far as I can understand that only 50% of the treatment is on meds... rest is you! I've read a lot on this from during the last 5 days.The stories about the ones who gave up bcs of lonliness, tiredness, helplessnes!Never give up JH... Still tight, tell yourself that its going to be ok, you wont die, sure you will have hard days but you will be alive! My sister has cancer, it came back for the second time and she is right about to get rid of it for the second time... thats the inspiration, she never gave up, smiled and she accepted the painfull sides of the treatment smiling gracefully... now she is ok, she has to take 1 pill at the end of her life, just like we have to do!... See? no differance the thing we have is just a medical condition like so many others... well ours is bcs of being a little naughty and incauitous but than again its just a medical condition! Is it hard yes, but life is hard too, is it controlable yes, easier then cancer or some others, is it deadly yes if you dont play the game with the rules or leave the game!Even I could understand the rules of the game in 5 days as a mule!

Remember, you wont die and you'll be fine, be sure, and here are wonderful guys will be your side and will answer all your questions, will calm you down.

I just got back from the date (its 01.44 am here), and wont you ask me how was it??

I've merged your three threads that all chronicle your first days of diagnosis, including your first lab results and first doctor visit.

It makes it easier for people to get to know you and therefore be better placed to give you advice when all the relevant information is in one thread.

You're going to be just fine. One word of advice I'd give you is to make sure you wait for the resistance test to come back before you decide to start taking meds. With your fantastic CD4 counts, you have time to explore your options and make an informed decision.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Hey Annthanks for tidying me up Doc said we should wait for the resistance test result to start the meds too.I am worried about the VL, what it the result will be very high? Does it mean that my CD level will go down very fast if I dont start the meds? I see some results here, very low CD but UD VL or high CD but also high VL. So seems tere is no logic or formulas about the ratios right?

Hey Theyer I hope you dont think about me that I am one of the "redicilously happy" ones!! Sure I know I am allowed to feel down even sad , but I can't effort such "luxirious feelings" right now. I think "blue feelings" are dangerous invaders, they easly conquers the soul, just like hiv. I don't know what is waiting for me in the future, hopefully its gonna be ok but if not, I want to use my rights to be a sonopuss!! (I couldnt be sure if I remembered the word right )And the date:Before I went out to meet him, II knew that I wouldd sleeo alone, but found myself tidying the house, checking the bedroom , changing the guest towels etc as an old habit!Darn, he was handsome, 6'5(195cm) bearded, icehokey player, musician...omg! its kind of a fetish for me the ones taller than me (I am 6'3/190cm) and piano player guys! Can you beleive that he was kinnda "2in1"... That was a very nice night we chatted for almost 3 hours, I didnt mention about my condition. (in my country its impossible to do! May be thats why I am writing here on the board : the need of sharing with someone! )At the end we had achothers phone numbers and decided to see eacher sometimes for a drink or so!And yes... I slept alone! I even dont want to think about, what if we like eachother! Most probably I will keep him away by some incoherent excuses! And he will think about me that I am an idiot

My late Partner was a pianist , tiny rippling hand muscles are a rare delight.

I imagine you are where ?

Guest towells such good manners .

The reason I ask for your country off origin or where you currenly live is it will have figures for Hiv infection which will be a base line for you to know how many people are pretending to not have it .

And I am hoping that armed with infomation like that, then you will see that if you should want a relationship it is there for you .

I really really do not think you are cut out for the life off a Monk. It,s just a feeling I have.

Brother Theyer

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"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ." Tony Benn

Hi, I was diagnosed and sero'd in September, I have had a lot of side effects, muscle weakness from Truvada/Isentress. Let me know how your treatment goes.

Sero'd in September. Meaning you seroconverted - got the virus, in September? If so, the muscle weakness may be about the viral infection, and it being gradually controlled, and not necessarily the treatment-drug.

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“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

well the viral load went from 11,000,000 to 1,000 in 4 weeks. But the side effects did not start until 4 weeks and continue now. i.e. sore ass when I sit on hard surfaces. Back bone pain in middle, sometimes lower back, shoulder and joint pain, the Doc told me to deal with it until December 4th, my Cd4 was 550 at diagnosis, and my western blot negative. It's odd in the beginning I had some tiredness as from the illness, but the muscle pains and feeling of being like 80 with joints and bones came in last few weeks. Fingers are sometimes pained (from typing), feet sometimes tingling. I liked the Truvada Isentress profile (also on prezista and norvir but told doc i wanted to drop them). The Norvir makes my stomach hard and hurt a bit, THAT, I can deal with, its the muscle pains, so I wonder what will be next, I don't know if Im allergic, I was not when they did the test a month ago, maybe they will take me off it, on the bright side, no more sweats or "sick feeling" just the exhaustion and muscle pain..... I guess I can pray that as I was medicated so quickly, I can possibly go off the stuff in two years (doc says 20% chance) that as I was treated so quickly. Thanks, all. Jeff

Hey guys its me again... Seen my doc this morning.I got all my test results, kidney, lungs, bloodsugar, etc etc They all ok! Let me remind the VL,CD levels of mine: HIV-1 RNA : 1810,CD4: 863- 43.7%, CD8: 527 26.7%, CD4/CD8: 1.63When she see the VL,CD values, she started to ask me if I was keen on starting the meds, If I really wanted to start the meds, if I was sure and really want to start the meds...She asked the same questions with different words over and over again! I said yes, why wait for lower CD, higher VL etc. And been prescript ed for Truvada & Stocrin. I will give blood sample on Monday for Resistance test, and she said no need to wait for the result you may start immediately after giving the blood sample. I was thinking to start with the Stiribild, but couldn't be possible bcs the government rules. Government pays the treatment in my country and Stribilt is not on the list of payable meds bcs its a new med! Anyway will start a new life on Monday hoping not to face much side effects. I've read some side effects about truvada like nightmares, insomnia etc. I dont know if it happens all the Truvada users, hope not!Doc said first month could be challenging and difficult till the body gets to used to the chems in the system, then it would fade off! Hope its true too!Any guidance or comments could be very helpfull and be appreciated on this stage.And I decided to move to "Questions About Treatment & Side Effects" and "Living With HIV" forums II dont know where to write my dating adventures yet! Hey! Admins may be we need social life forum kind of a thing to cheer up, to gossip etc Thanks in advance for every answers, every word, every letter you will write

The side effects you describes are often referred to as CNS central nervous system effects. But its the Stocrin - Sustiva - Efavirinz (all names for the same molecule) that could cause them, and NOT the Truvada (which as two other molecules.)

Since there is no rush, you might as well wait and consider all your drug options and learn about them a bit. Also time for resistance test to come in.

Why don't you find out the list of drugs available and for free to you and put them up in this thread, and people can comment... There might be an alternative to stocrin. Might not.

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“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Hello Meech its nice to hear from you.Actually that was the first first think I asked what was my options about the meds, she said this is one of the fast resulting combo in my situation, and yes there were some others, but she wanted to start with this and wanted to keep the others just in case for the unbearable side effects if happens (if I cant handle them in long run).

@Jeff : No no I didnt mean a dating site I am very remote from the great guys on personals! I am having dates here but no intimacy! I dont feel ready to declare my condition yet. Actually there is one seen each other twice and getting kinnda flirtatiouslevel...errr... I dont know what would be his reaction when he hears! And no so sure if he would keep it as a confidential issue or share with the others as a juicy gossip .

Have you been tested for hep C? Untreated hep C can cause joint pain. I had hep C for about fourteen years before I had hiv and it was only after I had hiv that hep C started causing me a lot of problems - and the two main ones were joint pain and fatigue.

Regarding your sore ass, you say you've been bed-ridden for much of the past few months. It could be that you've lost some muscle/fat on your ass and that will definitely make sitting uncomfortable.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Well I think your doctor isn't giving you full information, rather a recommendation and a push. If you are curious, find out the list of approved medicine and post it here.

As for the side effects of Stocrin, only a few people experience them. But when they do, it can be quite unpleasant. There are other combinations available and there usually is a solution. However, as you seem curious, and in the spirit of being proactive, I think you should know the approved list, from the get go. Knowledge is power.

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“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Thanks, they tested me for everything and my hepatitis test was negative. I will go to the doctor Friday I think instead of waiting till December as now my Spine is killing me (today) I work part time and its odd, I would describe this pain as what I imagine arthritis to be. I will hope for the best. I've tried doing a bit of resistance exercises, but too weak. Thank you.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

There are arguments for starting HIV treatment at diagnosis and arguments for waiting until there are certain indicators in the blood - for example: CD4 lower than 500 and on a downward trend.

Arguments for staring meds when the immune system is more or less still intact can be divided into at least two domains

1) body, health: going undetectable protects the body from low level damage from ongoing HIV infection. Or this current jag in the zeitgeist - maybe maybe maybe very early treatment means something, as well, for reservoirs, very hypothetical cures, etc etc etc

2) social, psychological, and epidemiology (going undetectable leads to benefits in these areas - for example, married couple wants to conceive, or serodiscordant couple wants the extra security of undetectable, or a person receives a psychological reward knowing he/she no longer has an active infection, etc etc). So this domain is NOT about one's health or long-term prognosis.

_________

Despite the arguments above, I believe the current science is there is no proven health benefit, when studying POPULATIONS (and therefore not individuals) to going on HAART before the CD4 recommended point.

____

One's individual experience may vary. Science is about populations, trends.

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“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Thanks meech.Well... I just want to understand this: If I wait for the lower CD values, does it mean that some hiv related health problems will start and my VL will be on higher levels. If so, doesn't it mean that the body should have to fight more and more to create a higher level of CD and to decrease the VL levels, instead of hanging on a good level and fighting to stay there? Doesn't it easier?

Hi It . I have merged your threads into one so that we can see and respond to all your concerns in one place . It will help you and us if you post in this one thread and not start multiple threads on the same subject . Thanks and good luck .

Thanks meech.Well... I just want to understand this: If I wait for the lower CD values, does it mean that some hiv related health problems will start and my VL will be on higher levels. If so, doesn't it mean that the body should have to fight more and more to create a higher level of CD and to decrease the VL levels, instead of hanging on a good level and fighting to stay there? Doesn't it easier?

If I wait for the lower CD values, does it mean that some hiv related health problems will start and my VL will be on higher levels--- maybe you will have HIV related problems. everyone's experience is different--- yes, the point of HIV infection is for the vast majority - the VL will rise over time and the immune system will be destroyed. I don't think its a garantee that one person must have high VL to have a destroyed immune system. Not everyone entered in the AIDS diagnosis with catastrophic viral loads...

If so, doesn't it mean that the body should have to fight more and more to create a higher level of CD and to decrease the VL levels,-- not sure what your complicated question is asking. The body fights HIV non-stop from infection onwards. Going on HAART stops replication and the body repairs immune damage as best as possible...

Did no one share the common experience graph with you? Ask leatherman, he has it handy. Your doctor really should have shown you something like that.... I can find it for you but right now I'm at work and on break, so,,, maybe someone else can post it....

Doesn't it easier? -- not sure what your question is here.

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“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Ok mecch, its bcs of my english.As you can understand I am not a native speaker!Let me try to explain again: I think (just thinking, no researches, no scientific readings, just a simple logic)If you start the meds when your immune system starts to crush, body will work on to get the low CD levels to higher level and keep it there...This is a bigger work for the body,if you have good levels at the start the meds trying to keep the CD levels where they are is an easier work for the body . You say: "Going on HAART stops replication and the body repairs immune damage as best as possible."So starting the meds earlier, when your immune damage was not so big, body will repair it as best as possible, right?

It sounds like you are interested to start meds now, even though by the research, to date, there is no justification for the long-term prognosis.

Listen, there are PLENTY of doctors who will agree with you that its a great decision to start HAART soon after infection, and also no matter if someone has "good" numbers like you do.

Your reasoning sounds fine to me but I AM NOT A DOCTOR nor any sort of expert in HIV treatment and when to start, etc.

I answer your questions just because you ask them, and someone needs to answer, and its nice to get a prompt answer. So I give the general information i have learned being part of this forum for about 5 years.

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“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Dear M ,first of all I am very thankful for your answers. And I know you are not a doc. I just need your and other ones experiences.I am just trying to understand what is what. Here in my country its almost imposibble to find resources to learn the things,even the docs are very inexperianced about hiv. They are just following the standart prosedures. She even couldnt give any info about the early start. She just said the things I already know: "some docs want to wait for lower cd values, some not!" no details no nothing.Thats why I keep asking questions here. So your answers are very valuable for me.