I Really Am Writing “Great White House”

I do book pranks a lot on Twitter and Facebook; I say I’m going to write something ridiculous like ‘Just Because He Likes Your Facebook Status, Doesn’t Mean He Likes You’. But I am totally serious about this book; I am revising and editing “Great White House.”

I really had great love for “Sharknado”. I even wrote a song about the film and future sequel:

It was just fun and I have a good screenwriter friend that I like to talk politics and film with and we both found it be our favorite guilty pleasure movie of the year.

As for our politics, he is a Conservative and I am a disillusioned Liberal who would now probably be labeled a Libertarian (working for a porn store and The Dept. of Labor will change your political beliefs) that have become very close friends.

We have known each other for a good number of years now and we have always wanted to collab on something but both were busy with our own projects.

Having a convo about films and writing he brought up the idea of doing something like “Sharknado”.

I was totally down but said I don’t want to do something unless we really can up the ante; it has to be original not a watered down version of “Sharknado”.

All these crazy-ass shark or snake movies are about one thing: putting people in ‘surreal danger’ involving deadly animals.

What “Sharknado” did so well and why it was such phenomenon is it raised the bar and the wave so to speak–could an actual ‘Sharknado’ happen, probably not, but it was a cool surreal thing to imagine. You can make fun of the film all you want but it was original and I’ll take that over a remake any day.

So, my buddy kept pitching me ideas like ‘Mosquito Monsoon’ and said I “No, we got up the ante. We can’t copy ‘Sharknado’; we have to come up with then next ‘Sharknado.’ What is that? If we figure that out we have something special worth writing.”

The next day it came to us: great white sharks attack The White House and we call it “Great White House”. Simple, cool, and surreal; I knew we had it–“Sharknado” meets “White House Down”.

As a lover of political satire and shark attacks, I’d watch that in a second.

The idea alone of Joe Biden getting his head bitten off by a Great White Shark and Michelle Bachman just saying dumb things while sharks attack The White House just felt like comic gold.

It was so simple, so ridiculous, and so fun. The most important thing: I really wanted to write it.

When I made decision that I’m really going to write this thing and give it my all, the elephant or I guess shark in the room popped up: how the hell are we going to get great white sharks to surround and attack The White House?

We did cram-studying-like research and ‘Googled’ some crazy conspiracy theories (I even watched “White House Down” in the NYC theaters which is the price of a 3 course meal at Applebee’s) but I am proud to say we pulled it off. Probably not scientifically but then again ‘sharknados’ are probably not scientifically sound but in the world of fiction it feels and sounds just right.

I don’t want to give too much away of the plot (yes, there is a 3 act structure plot) but it involves Chinese Weather Control and PETA playing a part in making this awesome plot happen.

All the politicians with any Klout from Tea Party favorites to Liberals like Nancy Pelosi are Harry Reid are in The White House when the sharks are unleashed on a flooded Washington, DC with water rising by the hour.

Whether you are on the left or the right of political spectrum, I promise you that politicians you hate will be eaten by great white sharks. Maybe it will even unite the left and the right, as Shark Week shows that everyone loves sharks. Who knows?

For distribution I do know it will be a self-published E-Book novella and released for free. Though I am a big fan of “The Gift: Creativity and The Artist in the Modern World” I am not super fan of giving away free books but we are hoping we can get this to be a film as my co-writer will adapt the screenplay and we hope to get it optioned and made. This is a creative and guerilla way of going about it.

Best Case Scenario: You see a fun shark movie that dare I say, would even be better than “Sharknado”.

Worst Case Scenario: We put out a very fun book and screenplay in the fall for people to enjoy for free.

Ha! Everyone always wants the conservative talk show hosts to get eaten, but in a satire, everyone is the fool. If you have Beck, Hannity, or the big Kahuna of talk radio, Rush, get eaten, then you have to have–well there is no good liberal radio, but maybe Maddow, Maher, Matthews, bite it–so to speak. I say, the radio and TV personalities are only as bad as the politicians–only the politicians are worse because they make actual law that affects Americans.

The best way to satirize the talk radio and TV hosts is to show how they would react during the GWH attack.

By the way, Glenn Beck “said this would happen” three years ago and we didn’t listen…