“Xtreme Waterparks” (Travel 6 p.m.) If you are not a kids’ toy or a soft drink manufactured in the ’90s, you should not be using the word “xtreme.”

“Big Ang” (VH1 7 p.m.) For those viewers who have been desperately waiting for the horrifyingly Harvey Fierstein-esque “Big Ang” from “Mob Wives” to get her own reality show, your inconceivable wishes are granted.

“Talking Dead” (AMC 7 p.m.) The new season doesn’t start for another couple of months, but AMC figures it’ll tease us with a one-off of Chris Hardwick’s post-show wrap-up featuring sneak previews, cast interviews and set visits.

“Opening Act” (E! 11 p.m.) A young female singer gets to live out her dream of becoming an opening act for Rod Stewart. ... Rod Stewart? Seriously? That’s her dream? Does she even know who Rod Stewart is?

Tuesday 10

“Trust Us With Your Life” (KOAT-7 8 p.m.) So ... this summer slot filler has celebrities like Serena Williams and the Osbournes describing family memories, which are then acted out by improvisational comedians.

“NY Med” (KOAT-7 9 p.m.) We may or may not have universal health care at this point, but at least we’ve got 24/7 reality shows broadcasting from our nation’s emergency rooms.

Wednesday 11

“Beverly Hills Nannies” (ABC Family 7 p.m.) As a member of the 99 percent, you may not be able to afford child care. But at least the people in Beverly Hills have telegenic young nannies. And at least those nannies have their own reality show. Isn’t that the American dream?

“Picked Off” (History 8 p.m.) How to make the “picking” genre—in which somebody buys and sells people’s old junk—fresh and new? How about turning it into a reality show competition? ... Nope, not enough.