it’s 21 degrees outside today but this will make you feel super duper cozy

Giddy Up!

WHAT YOU NEED:

a head of cauliflower- chopped roughly, stems thrown away

2 large potatoes – chopped into chunks (see photo later for reference)

half a yellow onion chopped

two bunches of kale, with the leaves pulled off stems thrown away, then the leaves are massaged in olive oil to break them down

3 or so cloves of garlic minced

2 tbs olive oil

4 cups veggie stock

around 4 cups of water- or enough to cover the stuff in the pot

4 stalks of celery diced

a lemon cut in half

salt and pepper to taste

a blender

a big pot

WHAT TO DO:

heat the pot and dump in the 2tbs of olive oil, the onion and garlic.

this pot is about to make magic happen

*Here’s a quickie on how to chop an onion*

cut the end off the onion but leave the other side in tact

slice the onion in half- the long way

BE CAREFUL as you place your non knife palm down on the top of the onion and use your knife to cut 3-4 sideways half moon cuts along the side of the onion

now turn the onion and make cuts the other way across the top (from top to bottom), but don’t cut all the way to the very bottom so it holds together while you cut

turn the onion to the side (like in step 1) and cut along the other cuts you just made- cutting right to left. This is how you dice an onion! * thanks Kendall Culinary for helping me learn!*

Let the onion and garlic “sweat” or brown for 2 mins or so, then dump in the cut potatoes, cauliflower, celery, veggie stock and water.

ignore the butter, I SWEAR I didn’t use it. This pic is to show you the size of the potato chunks

I basically cut the celery down the stalk into pieces this size

rough chopped cauliflower, potato and celery

Now it’s time for a massage…YES! For the kale- sorry- you need to book your own (you deserve it!). After you’ve pulled the leaf from the stem and put all the leaves in a bowl, douse them with olive oil and …well…massage them with clean hands until evenly coated and relaxed.

I used two of these bad boys

ooo lala see how much zexier this kale is after a good rubdown!?

Add the kale into the mix and stir. You can salt and pepper with every big stir.

massage!?! we want a belly rub!

Once this pot is boiling, turn the heat to a simmer and cover with a lid.

You’re going to have about 35 mins to do whatever you need to do; set the table, get the blender out, jump in the shower, stalk your crush on instagram- no judgement!

After about 35-40 mins your potatoes and cauliflower will be nice and soft- it’s time to get that blender ready.

I’m an ugly ducking now, but watch me become the zexiest swan EVER in a hot second.

Transfer equal amounts of stuff and liquid to the blender but ONLY FILL IT 3/4 the way.

Squeeze the juice of one half of the lemon, add salt and pepper.

Now puree that stuff like the bad b#$ch you are until it looks even (takes about 30 seconds).

what a transformation!

Now, pour that into a bowl and repeat with remaining soup.

Serve with bread, crackers or pizza- cause this stuff is GUILT free!!!