March, 2014

(You mean we don’t get to see THIS WOMAN get into drunken pillow fights with Thug Rose? *throws TV out window*)

You guys remember Paige VanZant, right? Unbelievably, just impossibly adorable model who also happens to be a legitimate MMA fighter at only 20 years of age? Yeah, her. Well it turns out that, contrary to earlier reports, the lovely Ms. VanZant will *not* be among the dozen or so Invicta strawweights competing on the upcoming, all-women season of The Ultimate Fighter, TUF 20. The reason: She’s too young to drink, and the TUF house is nothing if not a place for drunken dude-bros — and now, dude-broads — to get into shouting matches over whom should allow whom to bang.

News of VanZant’s ineligibility came directly from her Alpha Male training partner, Urijah Faber, who told Bloody Elbow that “12 Gauge” has ”now signed straight with the UFC” in light of the TUF development.

While this means that VanZant won’t be given a shot at the inaugural strawweight title, it also means that she won’t be subjected to twoish months of reality show hell and the downright laughable UFC contract that follows. Toss in the fact that she’ll have the benefit of not only watching all her future competitors in action, but continue training with Team Alpha Male while doing so, and it seems like a win to me.

(Props: XFC MMA via the UG. Check out an alternate angle of the KO here.)

Last weekend was a veritable potpourri of violence for the rabid anti-UFC MMA fan (a.k.a the CagePotato reader), with the WSOF, Bellator, and several local Brazilian promotions all churning out entertaining cards packed with memorable finishes. Perhaps the greatest KO of the bunch, however, was the Anderson Silva-esque front-kick scored by Bellator veteran Luis “Sapo” Santos over Alfredo Morales at XFCI 3. The way the sweat flies off Morales’ face, coupled with the picture-perfect way he folds like a lawn chair on his way down…it’s what puts the “arts” in “mixed martial arts.” It’s visual poetry, really…(*sniffs wine glass of own farts*)

But the “Sapo” KO — which marked his *sixtieth* win as a professional — was just one of many brilliant knockouts to transpire over the weekend, so join us after the jump for a look at the most recent entry in Josh Burkman’s WSOF highlight reel, as well as a sick spinning backwrist from the worst-named card of the year.

Eleven years after Eddie Bravo put his name on the map by submitting Royler Gracie at the 2003 ADCC tournament, the two grapplers met in a rematch on Saturday, at Metamoris 3 in Los Angeles. Officially, they fought to a draw — because Metamoris doesn’t use a point system, and every match that doesn’t end in a submission is counted as a draw. But it was a moral victory for Bravo, who controlled most of the action and put Royler in a number of uncomfortable positions.

Unless you’ve studied jiu-jitsu yourself, you might look at sequences like this and be totally baffled. So, a helpful Redditor named MisaCampo recorded a play-by-play commentary video for the entire Bravo vs. Gracie 2 match that explains what’s happening without getting too technical. If you’re a grappling noob who wants to know a little more about the intricacies of human-chess, this is a must-watch.

This fight was a horrifically one-sided mismatch. Rettinghouse couldn’t compete with Moraes in any area of MMA. As the bout dragged on, Moraes’ leg kicks started to take their toll. Rettinghouse was reduced to hobbling and then Nick Serra-level buttscooting. Rettinghouse had little to no chance of victory by the time the “championship rounds” started. The media knew it. The referee knew it. Rettinghouse’s corner likely knew it as well. The fight went the full five rounds, but it was over long before the judges submitted scorecards. It shouldn’t have made it that far. It should’ve been stopped.

Unfortunately for Rettinghouse’s legs, such behavior is an anathema to MMA culture. MMA, the ultimate dude-bro sport, values a glamorized Spartan ethos that never considers the results of its “come back with your shield—or on it,” mantra. Fans, fighters, coaches, and everyone in between agree almost unanimously that getting knocked out is better than quitting on your stool between rounds, and that (s)napping is better than tapping. It’s better to let a fighter “go out on their shield” than stop a fight too early, robbing the winner of undisputed victory and the loser of honor in defeat.

Originally, Ellenberger was slated to fight Tarec Saffiedine at UFC 172 in Baltimore next month. However, an injury Saffiedine sustained in training changed all that. Not to diss Saffiedine, but Ellenberger-Lawler is a much more exciting fight to daydream about.

(So this is what it’s like to see Cris Cyborg lose a standup fight. Interesting. Props: AXS TV Fights)

Last night in Las Vegas, Cris Cyborg faced undefeated Dutch Muay Thai champ Jorina Baars for the Lion Fight welterweight (145-pound) title. But unlike her previous matches in MMA and Muay Thai, Cyborg wasn’t able to bully her way to a victory this time. Check out the video highlights above to see Baars use her long limbs and superior technique to out-gun Cyborg through five action-packed rounds. Baars won by unanimous decision (49-45, 48-45, 49-44), and extends her impressive Muay Thai record to 36-0-3, while Cyborg drops to 2-1.

“I’m a Muay Thai fighter. She’s an MMA fighter,” Baars told MMAFighting.com after the fight. “I will beat her. That’s every opponent, I will beat them. It’s my sport. It’s my style…[Cyborg] is strong and she has power. But it’s not the hardest punch I’ve gotten hit with.”

After the jump: The complete Cyborg vs. Baars Lion Fight 14 match. Check it out while it lasts. Plus, full results from the event via LionFight.com.

It’s Friday night, and that means Bellator! This was the promotion’s 114th outing, and it was a feisty one. It featured the semifinals of the season 10 featherweight tournament and one semifinal bout of the middleweight tournament. The Bellator middleweight title was also up for grabs.

The event opened with UFC vet Kendall Grove taking on Bellator mainstay Brett Cooper. This was a middleweight tournament semifinal bout, the only one of the night.

Early in the first round, Cooper landed a stiff leg kick that floored Grove. Cooper pounced on him, but Grove reversed his fortunes. He took Cooper’s back and maintained the position for the rest of the round. He was unable to secure a rear naked choke despite several attempts. Towards the end of the round he resorted to ground and pound. As he poured more on, Cooper wilted and turtled, but he was saved by the bell.

The second round was much closer. Both fighters managed to pepper each other. Grove worked his jab, and Cooper’s money combination was a left uppercut followed by a straight right. It was this same combo that sent Grove crashing to the mat late in the second frame. Some vicious follow-up ground and pound from Cooper starched Grove and Big John McCarthy stepped in, perhaps a little too late.

(“The Dream” is not impressed by your moshing skills. Check out this bromoshop and more here.)

Less than a day after I hinted at the possibility of 2014 becoming the true year of the injury curse, Georges St. Pierre tore his ACL while training for absolutely nothing. Proof of the curse, or of my prophetic abilities as a blogger? I can’t say for certain, but I do know that the job of an orthopaedic surgeon specializing in sports medicine is becoming more lucrative by the day thanks to UFC stars like Johny Hendricks, Chris Weidman, and Carlos Condit, making my decision to drop out of fancy doctor school and follow my passion of writing fart jokes for a living seem…hasty.

Thankfully, those two-bit body mechanics (technical jargon) won’t be able to get their greasy hands on Diego Sanchez, whom most assumed would be going under the knife after he was (self) poisoned by a raw quail egg and beef tartare at UFC 171. Quite the contrary, however, as Sanchez has not only managed to avoid surgery, but has already booked his next fight against TUF 9 winner Ross Pearson at a Fight Night event in his native Albuquerque on June 7th. A true “mind over matter” story if I’ve ever seen one before.

Sanchez finds himself in a unique position with the UFC, having dropped three out of his past four fights for the first time in his career. His excitement-over-strategy style has been entertaining as of late, sure, but “The Dream” better approach this fight with a more intelligent gameplan than lowering his hands and asking bros to come at him if he wants to score that win he so desperately needs.

Words cannot even begin to describe how abhorrent and borderline criminal referee Wiekus Swart’s performance was at yesterday’s EFC Africa 28 event. To quote Gene Wilder, Wiekus Smart is a “stupid, ignorant son of a bitch, dumb bastard” who should have his license revoked and be barred from attending an MMA event, watching an MMA event, or even listening to an MMA-themed podcast until he is shed of this mortal coil.

Let’s take a step back. About three weeks back, specifically, when EFC Africa fighter Booto Guylain died as a result of head injuries he suffered during a TKO loss to Keron Davies. It was a devastating moment for the tightly-knit EFC community, and one that EFC Africa President Cairo Howarth dubbed “a huge loss to the sport and to all who know him.”

It was also a tragedy placed at the forefront of EFC 28 yesterday, with all of the evening’s competitors donning a black armband to honor Guylain in a touching, if frightening reminder of how dangerous a sport MMA can be. Yet at this very same event, referee Swart allowed this catastrophe of common sense and human judgement to take place during a fight between Christophe Walravens and Bernado Mikixi.

How many illegal shots to the back of the head did you count after Walravens dropped Mikixi? 10? 12? How many seconds did you count between Walravens pleading with Swart to end the fight and Swart’s intervention?

I’ve never said that the job of an MMA referee was an easy one, nor have I ever claimed that I could do it better than those who do. But this is unforgivable. Allowing this man to continue refereeing MMA fights would be akin to allowing Denzel Washington’s character in Flight to continue flying planes.

In an era of MMA where referees are still only being held accountable for their actions on message boards and blogs, a precedence needs to be set that the job of protecting two trained fighters from killing one another is not one to be taken lightly, nor is it one that should be granted to any asshole with $600 and 3 days of spare time. An example needs to be made. Wiekus Swart is that example.