I didn't give up....

I wanted to give in today,to give in to temptation,to feel powerful, that sense of control.When I am so weak. I didn't give in, I stood my ground.I didn't do it.Becasue I'm afraid,of loosing those I love the most,and,I want to become someone,that can be powerful,without throwing up.Somethimes it's hard, but i havent for a long timeand I sure as h*** won't break today.I came close though.But not close enoughI should feel proudand I will laterbut todayI want todie