Friday, February 1, 2013

Day 15: Halfway there and Gifts

Well last night was day 15. Halfway there! I couldn't help but peek over at Jimmy several times during practice. Wow! He has improved in leaps and bounds. The teachers keep asking him if he will continue to practice and he says "nope, I'm done after the challenge!" I just shake my head and smile. The seed has been planted and I have the feeling he will bikram again someday. I am happy that he is able to experience something that has been so important in my life and he now understands why I love it so much. I was also thinking about how you never know if somebody is in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. For many years I was so hell bent on getting married (it never happened, I'm 42 now) that I tried to force each boyfriend into the "lifetime" category before even assessing if that person was right for ME. Instead, I tried to be right for THEM. What an exhausting approach! These past 9 months with Jimmy I have just gone with the flow, understanding that the relationship will go it's own direction and appreciating that he is in my life right now. Ultimately it will be revealed to both of us what path we are on....reason, season or lifetime. Until then, if it's the first...reason....then we both get to leave with gifts from each other. He has given me the gift of love and support through my fear of heights while hiking and he now has the gift of yoga in his life from me. Even if he doesn't keep practicing right now, he knows how great it feels to have a consistent practice. With this new point of view, I can now see the gifts that other men have left me with. One of them was even instrumental in my introduction to yoga. I am grateful to him for that. What a freedom to look back and see the gifts instead of carrying around resentments!