Thursday, July 6, 2017

The Dark Night Of The Soul

They had a great start to a relationship. Their attraction to one another was so strong that the mere touch set off sparks that could only be put down by lying with each other until they were exhausted by their expression of their physical love. He guessed it was their infatuation stage. He read that the images of the brain during infatuation stages of couples reflected brain waves of people on drugs. They acted as if they were on drugs spending hours on the phone, looking for ways to spend time together especially finding the hot sheets of the local Inns the only way they could put out the fire that was burning in their hearts.

Like all fires the flames started to lose their energy. She started to long for old flames, not to cheat or lay with them but she missed the spark they engendered and suddenly he did not. It was like the tide changing, The waters ebbing until suddenly high tide was gone and low tide never was really any good for a good swim.

Time on his side was running out. Due to genetic makeup his time on earth was going to expire at the very most over the next decade. He wasn't quite sure when it would happen but happen it would. Knowing that his time was limited he wanted to enjoy life to the fullest each day. But it was getting more and more difficult knowing that he was being rejected on a physical level by the very person he spent the most time with. Even though they were still involved in a relationship it was one that resembled more platonic than a lovers relationship. Neither one was strong enough to break off but it was becoming clearer to him that they had in fact already broke off but just hadn't taken the steps to recognize it.

He was at wits end because he didn't know what to do. He wanted to have a relationship that reflected what they actually were to each other. If she wanted old lovers or even new lovers to spark that fiery sex experience he no longer created that was all right with him. When they were first experiencing this break in their relationship he certainly reacted badly towards this, besides being rejected she preferred others which was a deepening of rejection. But he he just didn't care if she rejected him on this level anymore because to tell the truth he had no desire to be between the sheets with her anymore. What he wanted was clarity and truth in what they meant to one another rather than going through the motions. Yet he just didn't know how to get to this level without destroying any relationship they had left. And more than all that he was well aware that the shortened time he had left to enjoy the fruits of this world was getting shorter by the day and more than ever he wanted to spend that time in peace of soul, truth and love in all its forms, because quite frankly life without passion is not life in the fullest.

About Me

Widowed Jan. 2008. Worked for Manny Hanny until 1988 when I entered acting and did this for 15 years. Have 7 children, 10 grandchildren and one greatgrandchild. Presently volunteering at Ozanam Hall and doing very little acting. Have an MBA, BBA and AAS. Graduated from Flushing High School. Served in the Army and lived in Georgia for two yeas. Spent my early life in Local 802, Trumpet and writing some songs while club dating at the same time had a day job.