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Bad news, guys. My sister messaged me back today and basically said, "Don't message me anymore about this. This will be a joint decision between me and my husband."

I know at least some of you will chime in to say that I should double down and be more persistent, but I think I've said all I can.

This whole thing has been pretty upsetting to me. I really admire my sister and anticipated that at least we could have a fruitful discussion. I bared my soul to her and she's shutting me out. I suppose I could have said a few things better, but I don't think I said anything wrong either-- I didn't raise my voice or say anything like, "I'll disown you if you circumcise your son." We just had an awkward conversation and that proved to be too much. I still think she's a good person at heart and I have at least some faith that she'll come around, but I've done all I can and honestly, prospects don't look too good.

Some battles you just can't win.

1. Your sister is right. This has always very much been a joint decision between her and her husband.

2. I don't think your sister is shutting you out. I think she's retreated to a neutral corner, as anyone would, in order to better make her decision in a two-party (not 3 or more party) decision. In other words, this decision requires an informed parental decision. It would seem she is feeling the importance of the decision, and that's a positive sign.

3. And yes, some battles you just can't win, but you didn't loose this one. You informed her choice as best you could. That's all you can do, and you did it in a reasonable way. That is the bottom line in intactivism. Intactivism isn't about bullying or forcing a decision, it's about information. So you have to step away from the mistaken idea that you failed in some way.

4. What you can do now, is suggest she ask, prior to birth, for available hospital/OB information which addresses risks of circumcision, not benefits, but risks.

Comment

Hey, I tried and failed at this ten years ago, so don't feel bad. Good on you for trying. I have never been particularly close to my sister though (we are a number of years apart in age and practically grew up separately) and she's never given even two shits about what I thought about anything, so I'm not surprised she ignored me - if you are closer to her I can see why this would be upsetting. The pragmatist in me says the prognosis for your case is not good: the #1 reliable predictor in studies of a boy being circumcised is if the father is, and it's not even close. So you are fighting an uphill battle, to say the least.

Comment

The NOCIRC of Michigan web site has an excellent section For Jewish Parents.
It was created by Norm Cohen, Dorector of NOCIRC of Michigan.
Norm Cohen was born and raised in an Orthodox Jewish family. His father was an Orthodox rabbi, yet he supports intactivism and restoring. http://nocircofmi.org/Resources/ForJ...shParents.aspx

David
World As Monkey Island

I declared myself finished restoring with 3/4 erect coverage (CI-8.5) in 2005. I primarily used T-tape, strapping up and around my waist.
I've participated in NORM meetings in San Diego, Los Angeles, Seattle (RECAP), and Ann Arbor, Michigan.

Every doubt, reservation, or concern I had about my restoration was resolved by achieving additional foreskin LENGTH.....So just KOT !

Comment

Who edited the topic title of this thread and why? I'm quite certain the original title was, "Looking for resources and videos for my sister," but now it says, "Looking for resources and videos for my Jewish sister." I'm not especially upset by the edit and I respect the rights of the admins to run this forum as they see fit, but I would greatly appreciate an open explanation when something like a topic title is unilaterally changed.

The NOCIRC of Michigan web site has an excellent section For Jewish Parents.
It was created by Norm Cohen, Dorector of NOCIRC of Michigan.
Norm Cohen was born and raised in an Orthodox Jewish family. His father was an Orthodox rabbi, yet he supports intactivism and restoring.http://nocircofmi.org/Resources/ForJ...shParents.aspx

David
World As Monkey Island

Thanks for this! I doubt my sister will see it, but I'll keep it among my list of resources.