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Max's New Adventures

Hi everyone! Dear readers, I want to present you my story about Max, who is finally 10-year old and who are going to get and catch his own Pokemon.
Firstly, I want to thank bobandbill, who approved it and helped me a lot.
Secondly, I want to say that I made it like the anime, so it is suitable for all ages. I am very desired to make the best fic about Max adventures as a trainer.
But only you can decide about my success in it. By reading it of course!
I hope you'll enjoy reading it!)

Narrator: “Pokemon! The amazing creatures you can find everywhere in the Pokemon world! The land, the sky and the sea, all is inhabited by them. And let’s take ourselves to the Petalburg City in the Hoenn region, where ten year old boy, Max, is ready to start his journey!”

(Max is sitting in his room and is packing his bag.)

Max: “Finally! This day has come, I am ready to have my own Pokemon! I am so excited!”

(Caroline comes in.)

Caroline (looks at Max and asks him with a soft and nice voice): “Are you ready, dear?”

Max (answers happily with voice full of energy): “Of course I am, Mom!”

Professor Birch (takes the first one): “As you know, trainers in the Hoenn region may start with one of the three following Pokemon. Go Mudkip!”

Mudkip (comes out of Pokeball, then he opens his eyes and smiles): “Mudkip!”

Max (can’t believe that it is happening to him): “A-a-a! Mudkip, how cool! I can’t believe that that is not a dream!”

Professor Birch (takes the second one and throws it): “Go! Treecko!”

Treecko (comes out of its Pokeball, stands in a cool way and seriously says): “Tree-eecko!”

Max (exclaims once again): “Treecko is a very cool Pokemon as well!”

Professor Birch: “And the final Pokemon, Torchic, come on out!”

Torchic (appears and stands like the cute Pokemon and says with a nice voice): “To-oorchic.”

Professor Birch (looks at Max and tells him with a friendly voice): “So, Max, make your choice.”

Max (looking at all three of them): “So, Torchic, Mudkip and Treecko. Man, wish May was here with me. So, whom I gonna choose?”
------------------------------------------------
(Then Max remembers when he first saw May’s starter Pokemon.)

Norman (looks at May and tells her with a curious tone): “Tell me May, what kind of Pokemon did you get from Professor Birch anyway?”

Max (looks at her too and is excited): “Yeah, May, tell us what did you get?”

May (smiles, stands and takes her Pokeball): “Torchic, come on out!”

(Torchic comes out of his Pokeball)

Max (displeased and shouts): “Wha-a-a-a-a-a-t? Why did you pick that? If it were me, I would definitely have picked a Treecko”.
------------------------------------------------Max (stands with closed eyes and tells Professor Birch): “Professor, I made up my mind.”

Professor Birch (asks with a voice full of interest): “So, what would it be, Max?”

Max (smiles): “I pick Treecko!”

Treecko (smiles and jumps on Max’s shoulder): “Treecko!”

Professor Birch: “Well, it looks like Treecko is happy with your choice.”

(Professor Birch returns Mudkip and Torchic, goes to his table, takes Pokedex and five Pokeballs. Then he takes Treecko’s Pokeball and gives these 6 PokeBalls to Max.)

Professor Birch: “So, this is your Pokedex, it can show all the Pokemon from Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, and Sinnoh regions. Here are your Pokeballs as well as Treecko’s Pokeball. So, good luck on your journey, I know that you’ll be fine and become a great Pokemon trainer.”

Max: “Thanks very much, Professor! Okay, Treecko, let’s check you out in the Pokedex!”

Treecko (obeys):”Treecko.”

Pokedex:” Treecko, the Wood Gecko Pokémon. Treecko are able to climb smooth vertical walls and use their thick tail to attack opponents. Since Treecko build their nests in large trees it is said that those trees will live a very long life.”

This is rather well constructed. This fills me with nostagia since I started the anime in the hoenn section. (well that's when I started watching every episode.) I feel you did pretty well with max. You could have shown more of his intellectual side. But that's it. I hope you have some villians in store.

They say if you press cntrl and W you get to see the programming of a website after making a signature with 3 ws and 8qs
Fanfics I like that are still in production: Author's Run, Pokémon emerald the better version

This is rather well constructed. This fills me with nostagia since I started the anime in the hoenn section. (well that's when I started watching every episode.) I feel you did pretty well with max. You could have shown more of his intellectual side. But that's it. I hope you have some villians in store.

I like it! Be sure to notify me when you do more!
Maybe Max would be Dawn (because she is traveling in Hoenn)
At the end of AG, Ash promised Max a battle. Maybe that could happen later on!
I really like it and it's a lot like the anime -great job!

"If someone tells me it's wrong to hope, I will tell them they're wrong every time. I could tell them that countless times" -Madoka Kaname

I like it! Be sure to notify me when you do more!
Maybe Max would be Dawn (because she is traveling in Hoenn)
At the end of AG, Ash promised Max a battle. Maybe that could happen later on!
I really like it and it's a lot like the anime -great job!

To clarify the script-fic thing, if you check the rules it states the following:

Scripts: The way plays and screenplays are written to instruct actors. No scripted fics are allowed unless they are properly written scripts. This means they include details on the setting, characters’ emotions/tone of voice, and stage direction.

Scripts are generally discouraged here, as a lot of people write them to be lazy. These are one of the hardest types of stories to pull off well, as scripts are better when performed by actors than read alone. Fics can not be written half in script form and half normal - your format must be consistent. Do not write dialogue in script format out of laziness.

Hence scripts are actually allowed as long as they are up to standard. I was PM'd with an extract of the chapter, gave some advice on how to improve it to meet said standards and once they did (ie this fic does show how the dialogue is spoken and includes stage directions too) I gave approval for it.

That said I would say that a bit more description on the setting (e.g. what does the lab look like?) would be something to think about with future chapters.

A parody of the Pokemon Colosseum game, full of pastries and Miror B.
Completed. Four times winner of Best Comedy/Funniest Fic.

May I make one suggestion too? This isn't necessarily a flaw, but it's a minor criticism.

When you type dialogue for a script Fic, it would be alot easier on the reader if you were to bold the speaker names.

ie

Jade: I'm just saying stuff.

The scene and everything else is fine though (although a bit more description would definitely help).

So yeah, I'll be checking back to see what direction you go with this.

If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you'll never get it done.
- Bruce Lee

Recently, my close friend was brutally attacked her ex-boyfriend. Her child tragically lost her life in this horrendous incident. The road to recovery for her will be a long one. A fund has been set up to help her pay for the funeral and hospital expenses here. http://www.gofundme.com/krvruo

Max: “When I was traveling with Ash, May and Brock, we have met a Ralts. Actually, I heard its voice and ran towards it. I helped it because it was sick. And team Rocket tried to stop us, but I managed to get to the Pokemon Center, because of Kirlia and Gardevoir…”

Norman(listens to Max with interest and then asks again): “Kirlia and Gardevoir?’

Max: “Yes, Ralts family I guess. They stopped team Rocket and let me to take my friend to the Poke Center. After Ralts became healthy again, we became close friends and Ralts wanted to go with me, but I was not old enough to become a trainer”

Norman: “So, what did you do?”

(Max remembers the whole situation)

------------------------------------------------------Max(to Ralts): “Goodbye Ralts, you take care. Be good, okay?”

Ralts(tells Max): “Promise me Max, promise that you’ll come back to take me.”

Max(answers loudly): “Yes Ralts! I promise you to come back for you! I will!”
------------------------------------------------------Max: “I gave it a promise”. (Makes a pause and says with a deep voice). I promised to come back for it.”

Norman(smiles): “Very nice story, son. But where did we separate? I mean, where did you left it.”

Max(remembers): “Well, we were on the way to Sootopolis City.”

Norman: “And do you have a plan how to get there? It is way far from here.”

Max: “Of course I know”. (Then his glasses shine). “I’ll sail to it with the help of my old friend.”

Norman(looks at Max); “Is that so? Okay, you are old enough, and I think that you gonna be allright.”

Max(with confidence): “Of course I will daddy! And I have studied all the Hoenn region and I took the map with me.”

(By that moment, they arrive at the Oldale town. They walk to the Pokémon Center.)

Norman(to Max): “Let’s take a break. I’ll go make a call, while you can do something else.”

Max(agrees): “Okay.” (Then thinks and exclaims.) “Of course, how can I forgot that?!”
(Runs to the garden near the Center. The garden is filled with trees and has also a playground where trainers can test there skills, especially, the beginning trainers. Max takes his Pokeball and throws.)

(Zigzagoon comes out of its Pokeball and it appears to be very strong, its eyes shine very brightly)

Zigzagoon(shouts loudly): “Zagoooon!”

Max(looks at it): “I see you trained it well.”(Takes his Pokedex and checks the data on Zigzagoon)

Pokedex: “Zigzagoon, the TinyRaccoon Pokémon. Zigzagoon restlessly wanders everywhere at all times. This Pokémon does so because it is very curious. It is good at finding items in the grass and even in the ground.”

Max(closes his Pokedex): “Treecko, get ready!”

Treecko(obediently): “Treecko.”

Max: “Treecko, use…”

Calvin(interrupts him): “Stop!”

Max(asks bewildermently): “Why?”

Calvin: “I think we forgot about one thing…”

Max(thinks and remembers): “Of course! We have forgotten about referee. Somebody should judge our battle!”

(After that Norman comes out of Pokemon Center)

Norman(asks happily because he witnesses his son first battle): “Oh, I see you want to battle. I can be the judge if you don’t mind…”

Hi dear readers!)I made a new chapter, it is not big as others, so feel comfortable to read it and enjoy it)

The 3rd Chapter: The home is where the start is!

(Norman and Max are driving in the car. It is evening, so it starts to get dark. Hopefully, the road to the Petalburg city is almost complete)

Norman(thinks and then says with a deep voice): “Max, you know, after we arrive to the Petalburg, I am going to continue my duty as a gym leader. And you will be on your own. What are you going to do?”

Max(takes a pause and answers) “I thought about that and you know, I want to become a great Pokemon Trainer, earn badges and enter the Hoenn League.”

Norman: “So, you want to become like…”

Max(interrupts) “Yes. And he promised to battle me, so I look forward to this day.”

Norman: “Listen, you should make Pokemon your friends, that is a secret to be a great trainer.”

Max: “Sure.” (and then says in a clever way) “And I should have a good battle strategy as well.”

Norman(laughs): “I don’t worry about that, Max. I know that you always think about that and you’ll be fine.”

Max(looks ahead and shouts as he notices a lot of lights that come out of the buildings): “Oh, we are close to our home!”

Norman(nods): “Yes, pretty soon we’ll be home.”

(After few minutes they arrive to the huge building, that looks like a little two-floor palace, that is made in eastern style. They go upstairs and Norman opens the door. They are at the Petalburg Gym. As soon as they enter, Max and Norman notice that it smells something tasty and that Caroline makes supper)

Max(runs to Caroline): “Mommy!” (hugs her)

Caroline(smiles and hugs him as well): “Max, I glad you are back. I made you your best dishes.”

Norman (comes in): “Hi, dear”

(Caroline says the same)

Max: “Mom, I want to show you something!”

Caroline: (thrilled): “Oh, I am thrilled. So, what is it?”

Max(smiles): “Ok!” (takes his Pokeball) “Go, Treecko!”

Treecko(appears and smiles as usual): “Treecko!!”

Caroline(looks at it): “Ah! Look at that sweet face and smile. How are you today?”

Treecko(says happily): “Treecko! Tree!”

Max(confidently): “I picked the coolest Pokemon!”

Norman(looks at Max): “Yes, and I would say that your Treecko is a jolly Pokemon! He is always in a good mood. A special and great Pokemon!”

Treecko(embarrassed): “Tree…..”(and smiles as well)

Caroline(smells): “The supper is ready! Who wants to eat?”

All(shout): “Me!”

(Caroline serves the plates, folks and other stuff and after all is served, goes to Treecko)

Caroline: “Here is something special for you.”

(She gives it special Pokemon food, that is seasoned(or spiced) with different herbs, that grass Pokemon like)

Treecko(chews and then exclaims): “Treecko!”

(They eat food and the conversation begins)

Caroline(to Max): “Dear, do you know what do you want to do from tomorrow? Would you help your father at gym or the garden or would you like to start your journey?”

Max: “I would like to start training and I would battle a lot of trainers and I want to enter the Hoenn league and I hope I’ll do well there.”

Caroline(says with a serious voice): “I am sure about that.” (Then thinks) “I have talked to May today and she says that she’ll enter the Sinnoh grand festival soon.”

Norman: “That’s good news. How many ribbons does she have?”

Caroline: “Four already.”

(Then they talk about some other stuff and all ends at moment when Max lies in his bad and watches at the dark sky, covered with stars)

Max(dreaming): “I did it! I won!” (and smiles)

(Then the early morning, and Max stands near the door with Treecko and both Norman and Caroline see Max and his Treecko off)

Norman: “Good luck on your journey! I know you’ll do great! I am so happy that my son is so old to do that” (and stares at him in some kind of proud way)

Caroline(sadly): “My sweet baby leaves…Well, I know that you should do that…” (Than smiles, because she imagines that Max becomes great Trainer) “Don’t forget about us, visit sometimes!”

(Max and Norman looked after that at each other and smile) *

Caroline(surprisingly): “What is with you both?”

They: “Nothing. You’ll see in the near future”

Norman(after a short period of time): “So, I guess that it is time to go for you, Max.”

(Max nods)

Max: “So, bye Daddy, Mommy. I know that you’ll be proud of me.”

Norman and Caroline: “We are already proud of you.”

(Max smiles and leaves. Norman and Caroline wave their hands and see Max off. Then Treecko looks at Max and notices that Max is thinking about something)

Max: “So, what is next? Petalburg woods are ahead Treecko!”

Treecko: “Treecko.”

(But Max is still thinking about something…) *

The end of 3rd chapter.

--------------------------------------------------*)They smiled because they understood that Max pretty soon should challenge Norman)