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Tuesday, November 30, 2010

I am so excited that I have been able to learn the ins and outs of blogging over the past 200 posts. I am also looking forward to learning how to do so even better so that I can help serve my faithful readers with the information that they would like to have. I would love to have your feedback as to what sort of things you would like to have feature on this site. I look forward to hearing from you.

Also if you have gained anything from any of my posts would you be willing to help me out by clicking on this facebook link and liking a video I made that features me and my team with the work we do with teens in Langley? If I get the most likes out of the other entries on the Youth Sepcialities facebook site by December 5, 2010 I could win an iPad. If you're interested in helping out - great! Here is the link

Monday, November 29, 2010

Youth Workers Need Support: When it comes time to crunch the numbers Youth Workers will often get the ax. I think this comes with the fact that not many people understand what it is that youth workers do and how they affect youth culture. This short story is calling UK citizens to stand up for keeping youth services running at maximum capacity.

Teen Writes Self Help Book For His Peers:A young man named, Alex Southmayd, who is still in high school has written and published a self-help book for his fellow teens. While some may balk at the idea of a teen writing about such important issues due to lack of perspective brought on by very little life experience. However I'm inclined to think that it is the teens themselves who can best communicate to their generation. Wouldn't it be amazing to see more young people take their passion to the publishers? I bet there would be a lot we could learn from them along the way. The book is call Brain Snacks for Teens and is available on Amazon.com.

Traditional Youth Groups Could Be Detrimental To Their PurposeBlogger Michael Krahn (www.michaelkrohn.com) posted a lively and controversial article on three ways in which youth groups may be "destroying children". While his language is harsh there I see some truth to his points. 1. Youth Groups Foster Peer Orientation. Separating adults from youth has been happening since the 60's cultural revolution, but is it the right thing to continue? 2. Youth Groups Undercut Wholistic Community. Without the varied input of different age groups some people can get stuck into a rut of interpretation. 3. Youth Groups Too Often Try To Attract. Do we really want to try and motivate people based on consumerism and entertainment or do we want to see real life change and commitment? Take a read and see what you you think. It may have some serious implications for your church so be careful.

For parents, teachers and youth workers it can be hard to tell when one of the teens we know is having a bad day or is in need of medical attention due to depression. This article takes some time to weigh in when you might help you to access your decision on how to help them.

Anyone that journeys the social media networks knows about celebrity deaths mere instants after the event occurs. Yesterday was no exception as the world said goodbye to Hollywood funny man Leslie Nielsen. I grew up with more of an affection of the spoof movies with Nielsen than I did for the originals that they were portraying. You may be wondering why I would bring the topic of Leslie Nielsen on a youth culture and resource blog. The answer is simple. The world needs more men like Leslie Nielsen. We as youth workers need to encourage humor as a means of addressing social justice.

The world that many young people live in is a perpetually dark place. They face things that are unthinkable by most. From where I sit I can see many teens passing me on their way to or from school. There are not many smiles and the darkness is extremely evident. I know some of the stories. Parents that have told these kids that they are unwanted and worthless. Families that have split up and these teens are constantly stuck in the middle. Relationships that they pour their lives into that turn out to be abusive and destructive. Things that break my heart.

There is humor in the midst of this, but it mirrors their dark world. I often am disturbed by the things that my young friends consider worthy of a laugh. However it is usually cheap humor that rips into another persons character or sexuality. These things may cause laughter but they do not restore the soul. I often try to explain this difference to them, but I'm afraid that they influence me more in this area than I do in them. I seem to have a knack for a sarcastic sense of humor.

There are a few kids though that are the shining light in the midst of these dark worlds. These kids are typically refereed to as the class clowns and while they are loved almost universally between all the cliques of a high school campus. The authorities in their lives tell them then need to "grow up". I hope that instead of discouraging their gift that we would help them to nurture it and make it better. For they have a gift of humor that can go farther into the depths of humanity and help those in the darkest places feel as though they are, even momentarily, being rescued.

Even though Leslie Nielsen was 84 years old when he died, from what he portrayed on the screen he was still young at heart. Isn't that something that we should desire to help young people experience in their own lives? Leslie Nielsen, I surely hope you rest in peace.

Friday, November 26, 2010

The rise of the teenage superhero. Tonight marked another high in the ongoing cultural emphasis of a dominate youth culture with the premiere of Young Justice. This Cartoon Network animated series featured a collection of superheros short on years but filled with passion to impact their world for the good. The writers spent a lot of time emphasizing the fact that these young people don't see themselves as sidekicks to the "real" heroes, but rather that they are full fledged heroes in their own right. I'm not sure how much emphasis one should pit on an hour debut of a cartoon in analyzing youth culture, but I'm sure that the research a development department at the cartoon network is probably more in tune with what sort of messages will fly with a teen audience than many academic or theological professionals could really claim. As much as youth are criticized for being at the center on society for many they feel as though they could never really impact change. We adults fail to remember that they are not only the future generation but they are also a part of the current generation as well. In such a time when kids are falling victim to an escapist mentality on life it would be good to bring them a show that instills the confidence and mindset of being passionate world changers and puresuers of justice. What do you think? if you watched the show fill me in on what themes you saw rising in the dialog. If you didn't watch let me know what you think of the concept.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

I am no stranger to the streets. There are a lot of people with interesting stories there. Plus just watching someone walk away in my old coat gives me the sense that I have helped them. I like that feeling. I took a couple of trips downtown with my coworkers recently. We split up and walked alone for awhile. As soon as I was alone on the crowded streets of Vancouver I felt the security and confidence that I normally carry drip away. I started to wander. I had no purpose, no place to be. I just simply walked.

Something told me (I am sure it was God) to sit. I looked but it seemed every spot was taken. I ended up in an alley. At first the smell was putrid and I did not want to stay. There were so many people looking through the dumpsters, pushing around their carts, walking, and talking. I found a vacant spot and sat down. The city is a noisy place. This day was no exception. The hustle and bustle of traffic. The countless voices, horns, and construction leave a deafening wake. Yet in those few minutes I became painfully aware of the quietness around me. I was lonely. Just then a bus full of sightseers drove through the side road intersecting the alley. The people on board saw me but were quick to avoid eye contact. My loneliness increased all the more.

Here I was lonely, rejected, insecure, bored, and fighting a perma-headache. Suddenly the idea of a smoke did not seem that bad (and I hate smoking). At least it could help pass the time—and maybe help with the headache. It hit me then: If I could feel this way in under an hour how would I feel after a week or a year in
that place? Who would I become? As important as I like to think I am, in that moment I saw myself for who I really am: A wondering hobo. The term hobo came into wide use after the close of the U.S. Civil War. It was used to describe the vast amounts of soldiers who were “Homeward Bound”. Some of these men never made it home and gave into a life of aimless wondering. Maybe these hobo’s were not traveling toward home as much as they were traveling away from horrors of war. The people in the alley are also trying to escape from war filled lives. Wars that took place in their homes and now they are wandering on a journey not toward home but away from it.

I tried to imagine my home in that way. I thought of my hurts and pain I had faced in my past and tried to multiply them. The resulting feelings made me squeamish and uncomfortable. Remembering that I had tried to escape from those feelings before—not with drugs or running away, but by trying to step off a cliff. If it had not been for a friend who pulled me away from the edge, my life would have ended. The escape plan would have killed me just as the escape is killing the people in this alley. A light went on for me. Challenging poverty takes more than just the one time trip to feed, clothe, and hear stories. It is more than the social programs,
shelters, subsidized housing, and safe injection sites. Challenging poverty happens when you do not see a difference between “those” people and yourself and you reach out your hand and pull someone
to safety.

Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
-The Bible (Romans 12:16 NIV)

Not because they are your new renovation project, but because you love them enough to genuinely care
about their life. Without returns, without a sense of satisfaction, and without strings. Just like my friend had done for me. Escape seemed like the only plan but what I really needed was to see that God and the friends around me would help me deal with the war torn life.

I came to the street to challenge poverty and poverty ended up challenging me.

I jumped up and started walking again. Confidence and security were returning the closer I got to our rendezvous point. Yet I could not forget...I came to the street to learn about challenging poverty and poverty
ended up challenging me.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

I wanted to introduce you to myself and my team. Here are a few of my team member sharing their best and worst moments as Youth Workers. If you're reading this comment and share your best and worst youth moments with us.

Friday, November 19, 2010

I just finished reading the book “Total Forgiveness” by R.T. Kendall. Kendall offers an interesting perspective having grown up in the hills of Kentucky and serving the greater part of his life as the pastor of the Westminster Chapel in London, England. The vast array of cultural divides and experiences he faced obviously drove him to write a book on this topic.

We live in a world of turmoil and while forgiveness in mentioned I find myself often wondering if it is actually experienced. In working with young people I often am privy to information that tears at my confidence in humanity. Abuse, sexual exploitation, violent crimes, relationship abuse, lies, anger and hatred that move far beyond what may be typically referred to as teenage drama.

What surprises me most is the nonchalant attitude that most of these teen and young adults hold toward their despairing set of circumstances. Yet I think if I were to take a stab at what is really going on, my guess would be that they are scared more of confronting what has become of them and they find it easier to simply roll with it. If they try to find healing they will only be hurt more the next time.

The problem is that I know it isn’t sustainable. I know this because I will find myself struggling through the issues that they wont let go of. It is as though you have a conversation with someone that the rail road tracks are an unsafe place to play, but after the conversation they go straight back to it. This is one of the most difficult things to deal with in youth work. You care so much that you can almost begin to resent the fact these young people continue to put themselves in harm’s way and find the healing that you know is within their reach.

I found myself learning as I went through the pages of Total Forgiveness. Kendall’s words reflected this often pondered but rarely practiced Christian discipline of forgiveness. The names and faces of many individuals passed through my heart and mind as I wrestled with the concepts that Kendall was offering in his book. Realizing that I had been trying to teach a concept to young people that I was wrestling with myself was a good and humbling reminder to me. There is no way I can help young people to step into true forgiveness if I am unwilling to do so in my own life or even with them.

In good fashion R.T. creates a list of what his definition of “total” forgiveness is as well as what it is not:

It is not approval of what they did

It is not excusing what they did

It is not justifying what they did

It is not pardoning what they did

It is not reconciliation

It is not denying what they did

It is not blindness to what happened

It is not forgetting

It is not refusing to take the wrong seriously

It is not pretending we are not hurt

Many people young and old alike refuse to look at forgiveness as a viable option because they have a specific view of what forgiveness means. If the above list can be understood correctly maybe more of us would be able to move toward forgiveness more often. The question remains though – if it is not any of those things what is forgiveness?

It is being aware of what someone has done and still forgiving them

It is choosing to keep no record of wrongs

It is refusing to punish

It is not telling what they did

It is being merciful

It is being gracious

It is an inner condition

It is the absence of bitterness

It is forgiving God

It is forgiving ourselves

That is a difficult list. I won’t deny that there are things on there that seem next to impossible even it is not a big issue that we are talking about. Someone may have glared at me from across the room and I will want to make sure I give them an equally deserving one back. As the painful circumstance rise – it only gets harder. You may have adverse reactions to these lists, but I have not included the whole of Kendall’s explanation. You may want to pick up the book to see his justifications, exceptions and explanations for each item.

I liken this need for forgiveness in much the same way as planning an escape from prison. Every detail must be thought out or you will quickly end up worse than before. However nothing would taste as sweet as the freedom experienced after being wrongfully imprisoned. When I think about how many children, teens and young adults are sitting in the shackles of hurt and resentment I long to free them, but I realize that I can’t force them out of it. They have to want to be free. In the meantime I must not judge them for that but bless them where they are at and hope. What more can I do?

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Come hang out at Starbucks with me with a couple of youth guys. They asked me to join them, I asked them why they liked hanging out with me. These are raw, unrehearsed lines that made my day - hopefully they will makes your day too.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

This is an exerpt from the magazine that we publish called RECONNECT written by my friend and co-worker Derian Julihn. This story is compelling on many levels. Some of the details and names have been changed to guard this family, but the heart of it is about the pain and difficulty of having a parent that is in trouble and how this young person was desperate to make a difference.

“My mom is a gambling addict.” Tim blurted out in the middle of our conversation. I have to admit I was taken aback by this moment of sheer brutal honesty. I could not even remember this young man’s name and he was already telling me his family’s secrets. I had seen Tim around before but this was the first time we had connected. Quite callously my response was, “Wow, that’s crazy! Can I interview you?”. In hindsight, I probably could have handled that situation better but Tim had hooked me and I really wanted to hear his story.
The story is one of tragedy and infinite sadness. You would never guess from looking at Tim that life has dealt him such cards. He is an honor student. He wears nice clothes. And he is always smiling. Now I recognize the smiles are forced. His mom grew up in country that was at war with itself. She later married, had two kids and immigrated to Canada. When Tim was eleven his parents separated; his mom, lonely and isolated in a foreign country, grew depressed and turned to gambling. Tim’s mom has grown such great that debt that she has to
steal from her own kids to feed her addiction. She disappears for days at a time. Sometimes there is food in the cupboards, sometimes there is not. Tim often skips lunch because there just is not enough food for three square meals.
Tim’s never told his mom how he feels about her addiction. In fact, he’s not sure she knows he is aware of her secret. They have never spoken of it. Tim says she is too proud to admit it and he is too afraid to say anything. When I asked him what he would say to her if he had the courage, He answered, “I would tell her everything’s going to be alright. I’ll fix it.”

When I asked Tim if he had the opportunity to escape from this mess (even if it meant leaving his younger sister and mom behind) would he take it. Tim’s eyes filled with tears, as he shook his head. At that very moment I realized Tim was desperately trying to save his family and he was sacrificing himself to do it.
For some people when the casino wins, it takes far more than their money. It takes their soul, their family and their future. I still wonder how Tim’s going to “fix it”. My greatest fear is that Tim is taking an even greater gamble than his Mom. He’s betting his entire life on the roulette table. I know even in life the house almost always wins but I truly hope and pray the ball hits double zero for Tim’s sake.

Monday, November 8, 2010

I watched as she walked down the steps of the pool into the cool waters. Today she was making a public statement that she was indeed committing her life to following after Jesus. I stood next to her mom as we listened to her story of life change and her newly formed beliefs. I could tell her mom was uncomfortable with this whole ordeal. The church scene was something foreign to this family yet she was here to support her daughter. As the young lady emerged from the water I leaned over to this mother and said, “You should be proud of your daughter”. She asked me “Why?”

It is a good question isn’t it? For those of us that have grown up in the church it seems obvious, so much so that maybe we forget to look past the ritual into the amazing symbolism of baptism. To many families the idea of their kids becoming “religious” is a terrifying thing. I knew one young person who was exploring different religions who was kicked out of the home for having a Bible and a copy of Blue Like Jazz. I have sympathy on these families because they are helpless watching their children purposefully moving in a belief structure that they either don’t understand or fundamentally disagree with. I would have difficulty in watching my own kids do the same thing. I would have a lot of questions for them and also for myself.

Ultimately, to me it comes down to a quote I heard in a movie trailer for “Sucker Punch” this weekend:

“If you don’t stand for something you will fall for anything.”

This simple statement outlines much of what it is that I do in my work with teens. I do work for a Christian organization and I am thrilled when young people get to know Jesus as I have. My faith and friendship with God serve as my motive not my definition of success. I would rather see young person become friends with God rather than a convert to Christianity. I can present ideas but I can’t make people accept them.

To this mom I said that looking into a world of young people that are tossed around by drugs, sexual exploitation, abusive relationship, teen pregnancy and an ongoing list of terrible things that I’ve witnessed as a Youth Worker it is an indicator that these kids don’t have anything for which they will take a stand for. That day as her daughter was baptized she was saying that be it a popular choice or not she does stand for something. The mothers eyes filled with tears and she went straight to her daughter as she came out of the pool, looked her in the eyes and said, “I am so proud of you.”

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Every week young people gather in our home. We share a meal, life and spirituality. A few weeks ago we invested a whole night on the topic “Who is God”. There is so much that can be said theologically and philosophically, but I wanted to concentrate on the relational aspect of who God is. I’ve been hounded to share my notes on this night. So here they are:

So where do we start in trying to figure out who God is?

You can look to yourself. (What are your thoughts on God?)

You can ask others their opinions. (Text and ask someone right now)

You can look to other sources (I recommend that we look at the bible)

Many of you have tried opening the bible and reading from page one and expressed that it doesn’t help your understanding of God. It doesn’t seem to be about him but about creation VS evolution. I don’t think that is the point here. God didn’t actually give us a scientific text book, but in fact he gave us a poem. If it were written more scientifically it would probably sound like this:

It doesn’t really answer questions about how the creation happened, but rather gives us a reflection of the one creating it.

Poetry is about the soul, not the mind. It is about art, not science (although science is not opposed to faith in God, but for the moment we are talking about wanting to know who God is, (a creator) not his techniques in doing it. We miss this a lot because our English bibles do not capture the Hebrew poetry very well so I want to try an experiment with you.

We moved outdoors and while I recited a poem inspired from Genesis I worked on an art project surrounded by our group.

In the beginning. God.

Before the time of sky or sod.

He hovered over his blank canvas

Ready to end the eternal blackness

Light erupted at his word

The first thing from him was purity and brightness stirred

What comes to mind when you think of light and how does that relate to God?

The space was made to hold

A planet he would now enfold

Water was made with pathos

And thus ended the chaos

The most popular creation tale when this was written was called the Enma Elish. The story involves the salt water god and the Fresh water god in a battle that ended up in the creation of armies of animals and men to serve them in their wars. It was chaos. Here God shows us that he is beyond chaos and separates the waters with just his words. He is someone we can trust with our problems. What does it mean to you that God is in control?

The sound of his voice echoed grand

And out of the water rose the land

But far from God to keep things bland

He had far more elaborate plans

He is the father of all living things

From the fish that swim to the birds that sing

Here God reveals that he is not just a master of things, such as planets and stars, but of life itself. What implications does this have for our “life”?

The sun stars and moon were set in space

To mark the time on this place

It was at this point that God revealed

He reason to make all the grass and field

He molded a human to carry his name

A prince of creation you could say

We were not an afterthought, or a byproduct of random chance, but deliberately thought about. He set the stage to begin the relationship of love with us. Does it mean anything that the author of this poem wrote it about you?

So there we have the poem of God declaring that:

·He is light

Hence he wants us to be like lights in the darkness of our world

·He can be trusted

He wants us to trust him but also be people that can be trusted with people’s problems

·He is a life giver

He created and wants us to be creative bring out life in our surroundings

·He is a king

He has passed on his authority to us as princes of the universe. He proves this last point the fact that he had people name the animals. Naming is a sign of authority. Parents name their kids, cities name streets – unless we have authority we can’t name anything. God grants that to us.

(I then left the group to name my artwork while I went inside to wash my hands. I had prearranged with one of the students that while I was away he would take the cans of spray paint and destroy my painting. He did and the rest of the group were angry, upset and seemed to want to physically retaliate to him. I played dumb and pretended I didn’t know what had happened. I was sad. Then the people in the group started to talk about how this was a fitting picture of what had happened with God and the earth. How people basically did the same thing. Then there in my front lawn I talked about the message of despair we brought upon ourselves and the message of hope that God would one day restore his creation and the broken relationships with us.)

Monday, November 1, 2010

This article was written by a teenager that I know. They explained it to me as being a metaphor for their disconnected relationship with their parents. As a parent myself - I hope that I never miss this call.

~proyouthworker

You are still asleep… You had a really long and tiring day. You figured you had earned myself a sleep-in day, but it was mercilessly interrupted as the phone rings. Three times it rings , and then stops. You sigh in relief and go back to sleep. It didn’t take long. You are so sleepy…

Moments later, it starts ringing again. You groan and pull your pillow over your head to block out the noise.

“I’m sleeping!”

You scream at the intrusion. It might have registered briefly in the back of your mind that you should pick up the phone but the notion is squandered by your repulsion to this rude awakening. You don’t want to get up! You think to yourself:

"If I run to answer the phone while in my sleepy daze, I’d end up dizzy and disoriented. And after all the effort, I probably wont get there in time anyway." It just isn't worth the head-rush.

You again miss the call.

When it rings for the third time, you are stubbornly determined to ignore it. It rings over and over and you barley notice; you are lost in a sleepy stupor. Whatever the issue is, you think "Its not my problem."
You sit up in my bed, abruptly remembering what you always thought to console yourself whenever you missed a call: "They’ll call back if it’s important..."

What you didn't realize was that it was me calling. You always have told me you wanted me to talk to you, but when I try it seems you couldn't be bothered to answer. If I'm calling on the phone or balling my eyes out in the next room - you never answer. You never hear. Wake up and smell the coffee! Someone could be looking to connect with you and you need to make an effort to listen.One day I'll be gone and will have given up on this at that point maybe you will be staring at the phone begging: “Please, ring again, Please! I want to help.” But I'm not sure I want to try that number again.