Unsolicited Relationship Advice for March 30

Spring is in the air and you know what that means: Celebrities are pairing off like little famewhoring bunny rabbits. But what will happen once the warm sunshine (i.e., spotlight) has passed? Good thing the completely uncredentialed love doctor is in. So read on, lil' lovebirds, before you invest too much in that six-bedroom, three-car-garage love nest.

Joe & Demi

The Sitch: Your totally typical teenybopper romance: Demi's publicist passed a note to Joe's PR rep being like, "OMG does Joe like Demi? Check yes or no." And the rest is a very carefully photographed month-long history.

Suggestion: The two sure do photograph well and they couldn't be a more ideal arranged Tiger Beat romance. Just don't trade in your promise ring for a wedding ring too soon, Joe. You two are young, famous, and super pretty, so the odds of growing old together are about as slim as Kate Bosworth after a master cleanse. But enjoy your time together and you'll at least get one good hit heartbreak single apiece.