“Worry[ing] that it’s something more” is natural. That something more, probably, is love.

My husband and I did our relationship long-distance for a number of years. And by long, I mean other-side-of-the-planet long.

Even with the best will in the world—and the cleverest of communication devices—nothing replaces the spiritual nourishment one gets from simply being near the people you love.

We loved each other, knew each others’ bodies and minds perfectly. But when we made it permanent, and created a home together beyond “my place” and “your place”, things changed. We squarely faced each others’ temperament and soul. I, certainly, saw my hub in a different light, one in which the cracks in his emotional armour became clear—and he saw mine. And I saw strengths, too, that I wouldn’t have seen from a distance.

For us, that was the true test of our intimacy. Could we see that, and still be in love?

My perspective: No matter how healthy a long-distance relationship is, we can be tempted to save our best face for when we get together, and deal with our funks when we’re apart. Since time together is precious, we don’t want to waste it dealing with dark moods or persnicketiness. That’s only natural.

But real intimacy is light and darkness. You can’t have one without the other. Without a shadow, it’s hard to make out the true shape of what you’re looking at.

And if you still love it when you see its true shape, marry it.

Does that love oblige you to “worry” about the same thing that worries the Attorney? Emphatically not. The only thing you can do is exactly what you’re doing. Simply be there. And you can do that in your sleep. So sleep, already.

Just my 2¢.

HH

02/5/2012Chris says:

And yet, he wants to be by you when something is wrong, if that’s what it is, who knows. Worrying about things you have no control over is always fruitless.

02/5/2012irisgirl says:

great comment from the HH, above!

By now I’m sure he’s awake and you have your answer. I hope you will share it with us. Even tho his is a solid sleeper, I’m going to asume it couldn’t be anything too terrible. That’s coming from the world’s BEST worrier–ask anyone!

love to you both, and of course Granny……

02/5/2012irisgirl says:

please excuse the typos—I just woke up!

02/5/2012Chris says:

Wow, that sounds so wonderful. Coming up an hour and a half just to be near? It’s awesome to have someone like that.