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2.27.2014

trigger warning : square toes

listen, i thought we all agreed to leave those behind. an unspoken rule among fashion people to never force our eyes to lay upon a square toe. we'd rather go ultra-pointy again, we all said, but no more square toes.

i wasn't even ready for it. i didn't think it was something i should worry about in this day and age! but there you go. you just can't ever know these days. anyways, so i'm just getting ready to click through the balenciaga fall show on style.com and there it was. right on look 1.

i started at the top of course, ok nothing special about hair and makeup, hmm oversized zippers? sure we can do another run through some punk leftovers, wait, tell me more about your secret pussy-pat pouch and what are the shoes–OH NO WHAT ARE THOSE SHOES–

fuckin' square toe.

just right there.

looking at me.

if like me, you frequent ebay trying to find some cute lil' prada shoes from the early 00's, you KNOW what the truth is. ebay is a burial ground of square toe shoes, you see them, "authentic" and no one wants them, not even for $40 (or best offer). you see them at the salvation army and you probably see them in a million lost & founds, forgotten on purpose. because we all agreed. WE HAD A DEAL!

the most offensive thing, i think, is that at their core, these are beautiful shoes.remember these guys from fall 2008?

I REMEMBER THEM.they were futuristic fuck me shoes and i had a pair and i sold them because i was young and stupid and i regret it every.single.day.

well now they look like this:

a square toe is the LITERAL opposite of a fuck-me-shoe.this isn't even my opinion, it is science.

it's actual birth control, the equivalent of guys thinking about baseball or something.

i cant. guys. i really cant.

i'm gonna go look at the dries collection again and never think of this again.