The story of a couple who are trying to have a baby. Hubby was previously married, had two children and a vasectomy. In October 2003, a reversal failed so we began by consulting a fertility specialist. The road has been long but we're tenacious. After 27+ IUIs and 6+ years of TTC, our first IVF was successful. Our daughter Petite was born on August 27, 2009. Our quest is fulfilled. And while we hoped to add to the family, we're happy just the way things are right now. Onward and upward!

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Thursday, February 16, 2012

Ordinary Magic

"Sometimes I wonder about other people’s criteria in choosing a partner for life. I may well be wrong, but I feel like popular culture puts an emphasis on romantic love – being swept off your feet by someone – and sexual attraction. It would be a shame if people bought into that ideal, because it’s just not sustainable 24/7. No matter how attracted and wildly in love you are, one morning you’ll wake up to a partner with morning breath who forgot to put the garbage out, and you won’t be feeling the love in that moment."

Her comments made me smile. Right now, as I type, I know so many people (some teens, some adults, some who are sort of in limbo between the two, and may never fall on one side or the other!) who hold their breath, waiting for the PERFECT person. The one who sweeps you off your feet. The one with money. The most handsome. The one who sets your heart on fire. The one who makes you feel like you're soaring above the clouds. Like you're invincible. Like the world is amazing and nothing can go wrong.

I worry for those people. Because those are the people who will be disappointed. And if I love them, I know I will witness their disappointment. Those are the unhappy people. Those are the ones who will wander through life, wondering where their vision of perfect might be. Where they can find their happy, magical world. Those people will never get what they hope for, because honestly...

... it doesn't exist.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but there it is. They're living in a dream world. A fantasy. A sweet notion of fairy tales, sparkling lights, romance and fluff. Dear heavens. *rolls eyes* How to explain to them that it doesn't exist? That what they have in their heads is not sustainable? Not possible in the long term? Not feasible at all?!

Here it is: If you look at life always expecting the best, the most incredible experiences, the perfect partner, your days to be thrilling and joyous and full of light and smiles, and you expect that feeling of euphoria to last, you are sadly, terribly mistaken.

Life simply isn't like that.

Yes, there are moments. Days. Maybe entire weeks if you are really lucky, of ultimate joy and feeling like the world is magical. I won't deny that. For example:The moment he tells you "I love you" for the first time.The moment he proposes. And the feeling of that ring on your finger for the first little while.The day you get flowers from a special someone.A quiet romantic interlude, complete with whatever is your personal fantasy. (RAWR!)Taking a spontaneous trip with your partner, away from responsibilities, jobs, stress, etc.Making time to snuggle by a warm fire, glass of wine in hand. (Okay, I've rarely done this but when I have, it's fun. For sure.)The precise moment you say, "I do," and you feel like you're walking on air; happiness infuses everything around you.For us IFers, we know that when when we hear those magic words, "You're pregnant," the world will spin on its axis and stars will align, angels will shout the highest of glories. (Yes, all these things DO happen. I can vouch for it.)

So many beautiful moments occur during a lifetime. But you have to remember that in between all these moments are... well... other not so beautiful moments. Other life moments that -- while aren't as magical or romantic, or amazing -- are still moments. And they are YOUR moments. No one else has what you have. Each moment is yours to cherish and experience. For these ordinary moments make you who you are! You see, if you keep going through these regular, ordinary moments, you keep living them, you eventually get to the next MAGICAL moment that you really love and will remember forever.

And to me, that is what's special. Sure, there's the crap. The hell. The days you wish never happened. We all have them. We all wish we could have a 'do-over' for some days or moments. Such is life, and it goes on.

But the trick is to keep moving forward and keep watching for those magical moments. They're all around. And if you are truly lucky, the ordinary moments become the magical ones.

Like yesterday, when my daughter wrapped her arms tightly around my neck and said, "I love you mostest ever Mommy."