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Feminist Rant: Why I Ditched The Pill

This is going to be one of those subjects that's really hard to articulate about because it's such a deeply private and personal issue for so many, and one that I've recently realised is a lot more taboo than I thought it was. I've had a word with myself recently and decided to be a bit more open about this kind of thing in general, so I'll come out and say it. I'm not on any kind of birth control pill.

Before I delve into this subject, which it'll become apparent in a minute I feel very passionately about, I just want to clarify than I am in no way condemning those that choose to use the pill. That's what feminism is about, the freedom to make the choices that are right for us. You do you, and that's fine, work with whatever works for you and I'll support you all the way! This is just my personal experience that I want to discuss for anybody feeling like they don't have a choice to be pill-free.

When I've 'admitted' this to people in the past, they've been shocked. Like it's so engrained into our minds as women now that we should be on some form of birth control that those of us who dare not to regulate our bodies with hormones have become the outsiders. Which is weird isn't it? When the pill first became available it was a revolution, a controversy that women could now be masters of their own bodies. It was scary to many that all of a sudden women had such power. And now it feels almost like those tables have been completely turned and the pill has become just another means by which to control and regulate women's bodies, as society so often strives to.

So let's delve into a little background and I'll talk about my relationship with the pill. I first started the pill when I was 14 and was on it until I was 22, so a good 8 years of hormone control. I ALWAYS suffered with it - I had every symptom from headaches to weight gain to bad skin to loss of sex drive. And every time I went to the doctors to complain about it I was just given a different brand to try. They say your body usually takes about 3 months to 'get used' to the side effects and they should eventually die down, but mine never fully disappeared and for so long I just kind of accepted that this is how life would be and surely this is better than risking getting pregnant right?

And of course, that's my job as a modern woman with the choice to get pregnant or not to ensure that this doesn't happen, right? It's basically expected that all of us are just on the pill, because that's the way things are. There were so many instances where I was getting down to it with a guy only to suddenly have to ask the guy to put a condom on and they would look shocked at the realisation that I wasn't on the pill. The pill makes us convenient, another weight off of their minds. It's our job to regulate our bodies so that they don't have to think about it, duh!

It can also lead to ignorance about how our bodies really function. I started my periods when I was 13 and just over a year later I was on the pill - I barely had a chance to experience true menstruation before choosing to control the whole show chemically. That day back in 2012, and I remember it so clearly, when I chose to ditch the pill for good, was like a revelation. I felt truly liberated and free for the first time ever since becoming an adult. All of a sudden I felt like I could feel things again, and I sort of staggered back in horror as I realised what a spell I'd been under, my emotions and mood swings restricted with the trusty synthetic hormones keeping everything nice and diluted.

And what's scarier still, studies have proven that being on the pill and under the influence of synthetic hormones could actually have an effect on who you find attractive and who finds you attractive. So when you think about things that way, or at least the way I see it, any relationship you enter under the influence of the pill is never a 'true' attraction because it's skewed by fake hormones. That is fucking terrifying to me!

So yeah, I may be erratic and crazy one minute and crying with joy the next. I might have to use 'inconvenient' alternative methods and don't have the ability to 'skip a period' if I so wish but honestly, the past four years since ditching the pill have been the happiest of my life. I've never been more in tune with my body and so in touch with my emotions and honestly I find that incredibly empowering, more so than anything a little sugar coated tablet could ever give me!

So I guess the point of this blog post is to point out that you do have a choice. Don't suffer on the pill or go on it just because your friends are and that is what's socially expected of you. You know what is right and works for your body and you are allowed to make choices that are beneficial to you, not the people you choose to have sex with.

What do you think about the pill? Did you noticed a difference once coming off of it? Let me know in the comments below, I'd love to have a chat!

CONVERSATION

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comments:

Omg LOVE this post girl. I stopped taking the pill too & I agree, it is the best decision I ever made. Something about putting artificial hormones into my body just doesn't sit well with me. I just don't like it. Like you said I'd rather just be myself, even if that makes me incredibly erratic!