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which is easier - 1 kid or 2

I never had kids. I assumed that 1 kid would be a lot easier than 2,
but my sister told me that 2 can be easier since the kids can play
with each other giving the adults a break. It seems that with 1 there
would be less for the adults to keep track of, less multitasking. I
can imagine 2 kids running in opposite directions.

Big Crunch wrote:
I never had kids. I assumed that 1 kid would be a lot easier than 2,
but my sister told me that 2 can be easier since the kids can play
with each other giving the adults a break. It seems that with 1 there
would be less for the adults to keep track of, less multitasking. I
can imagine 2 kids running in opposite directions.

So which is generally easier?

In every family (except in the case of twins) where there are two
children, there was at one time only one child. If there is only one
child in the family, if another child hasn't died, then there has only
been one child in the family. So the only people who can answer this
question are people with two or more children.

The answer is - it depends.

If the two children are twins, they may indeed run in opposite
directions. But if they are sequential children, usually they are not
simultaneously of an age to run in opposite directions. Either one of
them is too little to run (maybe not even crawling yet), or the other
one is old enough not to do that.

So it depends on the kids (how far apart in age they are, what
temperament they are), and the parents (temperament). I found that
two was very little more trouble than one, but that three was much
more trouble than two, but others have different experiences.

On Wed, 29 Nov 2006 21:27:07 EST, Big Crunch
wrote:
I never had kids. I assumed that 1 kid would be a lot easier than 2,
but my sister told me that 2 can be easier since the kids can play
with each other giving the adults a break. It seems that with 1 there
would be less for the adults to keep track of, less multitasking. I
can imagine 2 kids running in opposite directions.

So which is generally easier?

The biggest complaint I hear from parents of only children is that the
kids require so much from the parents. There is no other ready source
of entertainment or socialization. The biggest issue I see working
with only children is that they have to learn some of the social
skills that will stand them in good stead with their peers when they
are in school step by step instead of picking them up from dealing
with other kids at home. You can ameliorate this by setting up lots
of situations to hang out with other kids, but that is a ton of work.
Play dates are a pain and they don't give all the same interaction and
learning that living 24/7 does.

I can't think of any kids off the top of my head that have referred
themselves or been referred by teachers to counseling for severe
social skills work who were not only children (or effectively so due
to big age gaps between siblings) or suffered from autism or some
other condition that would interfere. This doesn't mean that all kids
with siblings have great social skills, but they do tend to learn more
one way or another before they get to school. It's a sink or swim
thing as well as an example and modeling thing.

The biggest complaint I hear from parents of multiple children is
about dealing with fighting siblings. Some of the social skills kids
with siblings pick up are negative and you get to hear it all go down.

As far as the kids go, most onlies are lonely for more peer
interaction, IME, while most multiples want more attention, especially
individual attention, from their parents.

I have two daughters. I am really glad that there are two of them.
They get into their squabbles sometimes, but they also entertain each
other a lot and are great friends. I have had to put effort into
teaching them how to deal with conflict and get along better, but I
figure they need to know that to get along in the real world so I'd
have to teach them regardless. I couldn't get the level of instant
playmate, shared experience closeness and let me do my adult stuff
with only one. It was hard on both my oldest child and myself that I
could only stand so much toddler humor and watching the same video
over and over again when she was an only. Then her sister came along
and they still do that kind of stuff together with much giggling while
I gratefully take care of things I need to do or want to do. It is
easier for me to interact with them when I am not their sole source of
interaction around the house. It has also been an amazing experience
to watch two very different personalities develop before my eyes. It's
fascinating to watch the Venn diagrams of their lives play out.

We took a long road trip for Thanksgiving weekend and my younger
daughter put it well. She told her sister that she actually kind of
liked to go on boring car trips sometimes because the two of them had
so much fun when they had to entertain each other or die of boredom.
If either was an only child, I would have to entertain that child or
hear all the whining about being bored.

--
Paula
"Anyway, other people are weird, but sometimes they have candy,
so it's best to try to get along with them." Joe Bay

Paula wrote:
The biggest complaint I hear from parents of only children is that the
kids require so much from the parents. There is no other ready source
of entertainment or socialization. The biggest issue I see working

Thanks for the newsgroup response. I never had kids, so I thought 1
would be a lot easier, but not necessarily. If the 2nd kid were
triplets, 1 might be easier. I'm leaning towards just being a
wonderful uncle at this point I see what my grown siblings go
thru.

I personally have four children, and I found that two and MORE children
are actually easier. They have friends for life. Moreover, there are
so many adult "only children" that are embittered, because of parents'
selfishness in not giving them a sibling. I have heard complaints of
loneliness, etc.
~d,
Mother of four

On Nov 29 2006, 7:27 pm, Big Crunch wrote:
I never had kids. I assumed that 1 kid would be a lot easier than 2,
but my sister told me that 2 can be easier since the kids can play
with each other giving the adults a break. It seems that with 1 there
would be less for the adults to keep track of, less multitasking. I
can imagine 2 kids running in opposite directions.

I have two kids. Sometimes it's much easier, and more satisfying, to be
with them one at a time. Other times it's much easier and more
satisfying to be with them when they're together.

My experience, with my own childhood, my children and my friends'
children is that there's no "easier" with children. There are times
that are easier and times that are more difficult. There are children
(and families) that are easier and more difficult.

If you're figuring out your own family planning based on what's
"easier", then you might not be ready for a family. However,
realistically you should consider that having multiple toddlers in the
house means you really want multiple adults available much of the time.
And having multiple teens in the house means you need a very large
refrigerator. Beyond that? It depends.

My two cents,
--Beth Kevleshttp://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner.

NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would
like me to reply.

I have twins, not that its easy but they do keep each other company!
Single children have the benefit of not having to share whereas w/ two you
share many things for obvious reasons. Single children tend to become
lonesome though if not introduced to play groups or other such surroundings
w/ one on one play w/ other children. You have to watch out w/ single
children moreso I would think to make sure too that they are not being
overcompensated for not having a sibling to share w/ whereas they get
everything thus becoming spoiled. Truly having two though, you have to
watch out for this anyway. Hope this Helps!

GeorgianMommy
"Big Crunch" wrote in message
...
I never had kids. I assumed that 1 kid would be a lot easier than 2,
but my sister told me that 2 can be easier since the kids can play
with each other giving the adults a break. It seems that with 1 there
would be less for the adults to keep track of, less multitasking. I
can imagine 2 kids running in opposite directions.

Having children, in general is hard work. I never personally thought it was harder to have 2 children than it was to have just 1. Perhaps it's because I've been running around like a chicken with its head cut off and I don't notice how much more difficult it is. LOL.

Either way, if I were to look at it objectively, I guess it could be more difficult. It depends on how the children get along and if they just behave. The more difficult they are for you, the more difficult it is to raise them.