Q: What do you think is the single most important quality in having a good friendship? I seem to have a hard time keeping friends for a long time and wondered what you thought. Any advice on what I should be looking for or how to be able to keep a BFF longer than I usually do. — Looking for an answer

A: I’m not sure one magical thing makes a friendship last. Many factors need to be present to make a friendship last through time. True and lasting friendships are a rare treasure that needs to be treated with a great deal of care. Finding a BFF isn’t usually hard, but keeping one is a gift.

If I had to choose one, though, I would have to say “trust.” If you are lucky enough to be in a good friendship, if feels safe to tell how you honestly feel, what you are thinking, what you are afraid of, and things you would never dare tell anyone else. That safe feeling comes from feeling trust. Trusting someone enough to be yourself, without fear of judgments or criticism, is the glue that holds true friendships together for a long time.

If you continue to struggle with keeping good friends, do an inventory on yourself. Look at what happens that ends the friendships. Does someone feel betrayed? Are you too jealous of their other friendships? Do you pick solid people to become friends with or just people who seem fun and new in the moment? Do you share common interests and have the same morals?

Perhaps your problem isn’t keeping good friends, it’s picking them.

Q: My boyfriend cheated on me twice before, and I forgave him. I just found out he did it again. I’m so sad, but I really want it to work out. He actually seems really sorry this time and swears he won’t do it again. Any Advice? — Lost

A: I would give him an apple and a road map and send him on his way. Have more self-respect, and don’t set yourself up for more hurt when he cheats on you again. I’d bet he will do it again, and I’m sure he will be really sorry the next time, too.

Kelly Richardson is a licensed therapist in Folsom who specializes in working with teenagers. Send questions to krichardson@sacbee.com.