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My toddler acts HORRIBLE! I need advice please!

She is 27 months old and so actively hyper that she never ever sits still. She destroys everything in sight. She screams, hollers and throws things at people in the grocery store. Not to mention, going out to eat is impossible cause she wants down to run all over (of course I don't allow it and she throws major fits) Taking her home will not help cause thats what she wants. Nobody wants to be around her...my parents refuse to watch her...

She will dump a cup of milk all over the floor and just stare at me. She hits, throws things and acts like a wild person. I've tried time outs and I've tried minor spanking but nothing seems to work.

I am at the point that I don't have any groceries in the house cause its next to impossible to drive 42 miles to the nearest grocery store. I Need some serious advice here on how to gain control. Thanks!

Oh no..... Well, My son is 22 months old and we have decided to stop going out to eat at all because he just wants to run around also because he's so active and when I try to get him to sit he screams too.. I think it sounds like you have tried things but not stuck to them consistantly and she's now at the point where she's testing ALL the time. I have a niece just like this. I also figured out with my son that I can not give an Inch with him, not ever, never or he will always want to take the full mile and then some. Sounds like you need to go super nanny or nanny 911 style. Start taking toys away when she misbehaves. She can lose all the toys in the whole house and then earn them back with chores and good behavior. With my son when he yells and tantrums I put him in his room and tell him he can come back out when he's done crying. I will not tolerate anymore this whining and throwing himself on the floor... with your

cont'd daughter and the grocery store, what do you do when she throws things at people? when my son throws himself on the floor or screams because he is not getting his way, I buckle him in the cart - he no longer gets the privilage of being out of the cart - yeah, he kicks and screams but he also knows he can't behave this way - I know at 22 months he's just starting these fits so I am trying to stop them before this get this bad.

Mine is only 14 months, and already into everything . . . so I can only expect to feel your pain in the future. I would suggest putting her back on a sippy cup and/or only letting her have drinks with meals (other than water).

As far as everything else, I don't know . . . I'm not there yet. Good luck . . . not only are you suffering from the terrible twos but also cabin fever!!! Best wishes!

This is a discipline issue. You need to get on top of this situation ASAP.

How does your daughter throw things at people in the grocery store? Don't let her have ANYTHING near here to throw.

Don't take her out to eat until she learns to behave.

Spilling milk? Does her cup have a lid? If not, why not? If she's going to spill her drinks she either gets a cup with a lid or water only. What do you do when she does this? She's obviously staring at you waiting for your reaction....what is your reaction?

When she hits, tell her hitting is not nice. Hitting hurts. Hands are not for hitting. Find something she values to take away if time outs aren't working. Stay on top of it. Always discipline right away no matter what you are doing and be consistent. Don't change rules because you are "tired" or "busy".

You are going to have to live with her, so you better find a way to make her behave.

Answer by
Anonymous
at 2:45 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

Her behavior, unless she has some illness, has to be laid at your feet, Mom. You are being terrorized by a two-year old, and that is very sad. You can stop it, but it won't be pretty. You will have to determine that your goal is to have a child who is respectful, well-behaved and pleasant to be around. She is old enough to understand that you are making new rules. You tell her that her behavior will no longer be tolerated. You get you a little plastic flyswatter. Every time she breaks a rule, you explain to her what she did and you spank her soundly for it. You then tell her that you love her too much to continue to tolerate that behavior. If you will consistently spank her for every scream, every toss, every act of defiance, you will be able to turn her around, but you don't have a whole lot of time left to get the job done. It will be more painful for you than for her, but you must do it.

How is her diet? Some kids are way more sensitive to certain things than others. My neice cannot have sugar, she'll freak out & then be a lil bitch...haha, she is 3 I'm so nice arent i. But, since my sister cut sugar out of her diet, she really changed. Her older brother does not have this reaction to sugar though. He can eat sugar all day & be as cool as a cucumber.

OP HERE: Sugar is NOT allowed because she will go into a massive hyper mode. I do allow her reduced sugar/fat free icecream once or twice a week.

Answer by
Anonymous
at 3:39 PM on Sep. 8, 2009

nannyb's advice is horrible. I will tell ya that i never spanked & my DD is an ANGEL & has nothing but respect for her elders & everyone else for that matter. Sometimes, especially w/ hyper kids, spanking does a lot more harm than one would expect. I only say this because i was a school councelor , i could tell who's kids were spanked & who's werent. I'm not kidding in the least.

I agree with NannyB. It's going to be a tough row to hoe, but it will be worth it in the long run. Consistency is the key. The longer you let her rule the house, the harder it will be to turn it around.

O.K. There is a possiblity that this isn't just a discipline problem. Sometimes there are medical/developmental issues involved. She could have any number of problems that are causing this type of behavior.

Ask yourself- does she behave this way all the time and with everybody?
Are her speach and socal skills on track with other kids about her age?
Is there anything in her medical history or in your families history that might indicate a learning or developmental problem?

Discipline won't solve the problem if it is a medical or developmental issue.