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I should have been wanting to write this post since past five days but winters are making me lazy. All I want to do is be in my bed, watch a movie and sip a coffee; more importantly I just want to sleep! Anyway, finally I am writing it.

Anyone who enjoys Uttrayan in Gujarat knows that he also has to go through electricity fluctuation or whatever is the technical term for it. Because of this Kite flying, power keeps coming and going off. Even though there isn’t a lot of traffic on the road (everyone is on their respective terrace), streetlights weren’t working in some areas especially High-tension road and Subhanpura etc.

Because of lack of light and since I was driving slow, so that I don’t miss a particular lane that I was looking for (I was going to a cousin’s place), I was able to notice two guys following me on a bike. Obviously I tried the usual methods of drive fast, drive slow, indicate the other side & turn the other side etc (basically, drive like an idiot) to figure out if they were actually behind me. What I realized was worst, they were seasoned stalkers; they would vanish and then appear from thin air. I tried the trick I have mentioned in the previous incident but it didn’t work. I clearly showed them the bottle but I guess they were too vernacular to know about it.

I had no option but to resort to this. Thankfully there is one more sub-area in that area which I am aware of and that particular area had enough opportunities to drive rash and confront them. So that is what I did: made them overtake me but didn’t allow to actually do it, drove parallel to them in the sense that my window side was to them, push them to the end of the road (which has to be the wrong side of the road), gave them a very narrow place to drive and sprayed with my heart’s content. The one who was driving was a little out of my reach but the one riding pillion ended up shrieking.

I can’t express in words how good I felt after doing this to those idiots. But it wasn’t easy. First of all, this is the first time I actually sprayed! So, all you girls who carry a Pepper Spray, please learn how to aim. Also, if you are really bold, try spraying on your hands. You will realize what agony you are going to put others to. Since this was my first time and since I had not practiced, my aim wasn’t that good plus I ended up spraying a little inside the car itself. Trust me it is bad! I had to stop, go out, cough & sneeze for at least two minutes. There was a weird itching on my hand for the rest of the night (it happened around 10 pm)

Another lesson is for me. I’m getting myself a hockey stick next. I think I wouldn’t have to go through all of this if I had a hockey stick & I’d have shown that instead of Pepper Spray! That is the standard of those guys. They would understand only when they see something they are aware of. Hockey Stick would clearly tell them that I am not going to let them have their way whatever their way be. Stalking me is not allowed, period!

P.S. It has been five days since the incident and they haven’t been anywhere around me so I’m guessing I’m safe, at least from those two!

INCIDENT 2:

I am happy while I write this post because by the end of it, eve-teasers actually ran away. 😀

This incident happened few days back (and I have been meaning to write it since then but have been super lazy 😛 ). So while driving, all of us have experienced a situation wherein some guys on bike are just showing off but this particular pair of guys were a gone case. They’d zoom on the road and speak rubbish to everyone including me. I understand that they were in party mood (It was evening of Jan 1st) but what they spoke infuriated me.

Since the Delhi gang rape incident, even the smallest of things provoke me and this was no small thing by any measure, I was furious and I was just giving them a death stare. They noticed and were continually looking back at me. That provoked me even more and I decided to shout at them or overtake them and stop in the middle of the road and teach them a lesson (Mind you, I was on Jail road, so with so many policemen, traffic and SSG hospital and Narmada Bhavan so close by, I think I was pretty safe.) But luckily, I didn’t have to do anything, they sensed my anger and stopped smirking but kept looking back. I just knew they were talking about me being angry.

I knew they were waiting for my reaction and I started struggling to find the best reaction to this. What I ended up doing was the best thing I ever did. I opened my purse (kept on my passenger seat, never keep it on the back seat) with one hand and found my bottle of pepper spray. (I am a huge fan of Pepper Spray. I have never used it but it gives me so much of confidence. Of course, you can rely on baton or stun gun or whatever). I opened the cap and held it in my right hand ( so that I can easily spray from the window) while I kept driving.

And you won’t believe what just happened next, they stopped very close to a policemen so as to tie a handkerchief on their nose. If the situation wasn’t that tragic, it would have been super funny (actually it still was, at least in retrospect 😀 ). Naturally, I had stopped a little behind them to see what they were doing. I almost felt the rush that a guy would feel while chasing a girl. I had that “Today, I’m not leaving you. I’m gonna get you” feeling. Ultimately, I didn’t get them. I tried chasing them but they had sensed the trouble and were out of sight in no time.

I was still shaking with fury but I had achieved my purpose, I told them this attitude of theirs won’t be ignored and there will be an equal (probably more) and opposite reaction. Now, since I am not psychiatrist and can in no way claim to know what effect this will have on those guys, I am just hopeful that it won’t encourage them.

P.S. While I write this post, a radio station I’m listening to plays “naye zamane ke laila hun main teri pungi baje ke rahungi” 😛

INCIDENT 1:

I had already written a blog post in context of Delhi-Gang-Rape case so I wasn’t going to write again but this happened with me today and I am still shivering (post an hour or so of the incident) and I didn’t know how to express my fury other than by writing this blog post!

Thanks to the ongoing India-Pakistan match, I had to do the job of getting curd from a nearby shop. I was passing by and a guy, talking to his friend sitting on a bike, looked at me and commented something which I will put under the definition of eve-teasing. Ideally, women like me are safe; we roam around in groups, carry pepper sprays, keep car windows up and usually we don’t talk to strangers. I feel pretty safe. What that guy said made no difference to me, I didn’t even listen to exact words he spoke but the words I heard were enough for me to assume the statement he would have made.

I almost walked past him but all the frustration from what we have been listening on TV was pent-up inside me and I realized I don’t want this guy to think that he can get away with speaking rubbish to someone. I just turn around, scolded him, slapped him and he reacted as well. Luckily, it was day time and there were a lot of people. That guy worked in a garage close to my place, the owner came and stopped the fight and scolded him. If I’d have walked out of the situation, nothing would have happened. But I didn’t and now I am hurt (Argg, his grip was strong and I hate the fact that he held my hand but then I slapped him, so yeah, fair enough)

I don’t know what I did was right or wrong. I am specially confused because that garage owner knows my Dad and if my Dad finds out about it, he is going to start worrying about me. I just didn’t want him to think that he can get away, I didn’t want him to think that a girl won’t reciprocate and I definitely didn’t want that guy to be lead on and harass other girls.

I have been a sort of person who is repulsed at anyone who objectifies women. So, clearly, when somebody would talk in the tone that “Women need to be beautiful”, it used to irritate me completely. I’d any day be partial to a compliment “You are smart” over “You are beautiful”. I’d always be inclined to the person giving former compliment over the one giving the latter one. And it goes without saying that I do not like the notion of society that the guys should be affluent and the girls should be pretty.

Recently I came across this episode of Lie To Me in which a rich guy asks the crew to take a test on his fiance and find out if she is taking vows with him for “Right Reasons”. By the end of the episode, it was concluded that she was marrying him because he was rich and she loved him. Episode said something like how can you separate your money from you, it’s just a part of you. Point to note here was why the Rich guy was marrying the not-so-rich-but-extremely-beautiful-girl. Were his Reasons Right?

This made me see the other side of this whole dogma. You can not separate a guy from his money and you can not separate a girl from her beauty. It is the part of the whole personality that one falls in love with. Similarly, in Indian setting, the guy is also supposed to be street smart and the girl is also supposed to be able to take care of home/cook apart from just being pretty. It is just inseparable. When you fall in love, you can’t say that this person is nice at heart and that’s why I love him/her. (I believe every one has a grey shade. If you give people a benefit of doubt and actually try and understand them, everyone has a reason of doing an abominable act). When you fall in love, you love the whole essence of the other person; how she dresses, how she talks, how she reacts in situations, how hygienic she is, will she respect my parents, is she presentable, can I take her to parties. And similarly, will he be take care of me, is he violent, will I be able to adjust to the culture of his family, will he make my life easy. Being nice is just not enough anymore. The grace, the charm, the elegance and similarly the class, the company, the family etc is the part of it. There is some idea in your mind and the person who you fall in love with is compatible with it. Money and beauty are just part of it. Beautiful Women wish to be seen and similarly Rich Men fancy exhibiting their wealth.

It goes without saying that I am talking about independent individuals who are almost nice if not perfect Ms-Goody-Two-Shoes. Being with a guy ONLY because he is rich or being with a girl only because she is extremely beautiful, never happens. No girl can possibly want a luxurious life if the guy is violent. Similarly no guy would want some extremely pretty girl who is good for nothing. There always is a balance. You compromise some traits and you love the whole idea of the other person. Falling in love with JUST one trait is impossible.

A very cliche conversation on the difference between boys and girls taking a relationship can give a lot of insights. I know all guys and girls want to believe that they are very different from each other and it is unfair to categorize, may be they are right. But I seem to be noticing striking similarities in most guys and so holds true for girls too.

Like the other day, a friend of mine asked me what hints do girls exactly give, how to know if I should propose this girl or not! I was surprised! How does it matter what hints the girl is giving. You proposing shouldn’t depend on hints the girl is giving. It is impossible to predict a girl, or even a guy for that matter. If you like someone, you think you will really enjoy spending time with that person and you believe that person is the best for you, Go ahead and propose. Even if the answer is No, Try convincing if you really really like the person. At least you’ll have the satisfaction that you gave your best.

But some guys seem to believe that “Chance marne me kya jaata hai”! Sure, but then don’t expect a serious relationship when you aren’t sure of your commitment. That will just lead to some good time and healthy flirting and if you are lucky, you might just score as well. But the expectations should be same from both side. It should be such that one feels “Chance marne me kya jaata hai” and gets lucky while the other one really falls in love. That leads to total destruction of characters. You are the one who is making a girl bring up her guards. Please figure out what you want. If you want some some good time and nothing serious, no judgement against it. But please make it clear to the one you are trying to hook up with.

About this “Chance marne me kya jaata hai” stuff, I personally do not appreciate it. It gets so difficult to differentiate these people from genuine ones. And so I have personally made wrong decisions as well and now I try to be more conscious. So is true for many other girls. They can’t figure out that this guy really likes her or is just giving it a try. And then they say that the girl is giving attitude. No, she is not. Even she wants a proper love relationship just like anyone else. The problem is she can’t figure out if you are any different from the rest who are just hitting on her cos she is pretty and single and they believe “Chance maarne me kya jaata hai”

If you are one of the believers of it, find a girl who is easy to come and easy to go. Please spare the rest who are looking for something more meaningful. It is completely okay to either want serious relationship as well as just time pass one. What’s wrong is, is not knowing what you truly want and hooking up without realizing your true feelings.

If shes amazing, she wont be easy. If shes easy, she wont be amazing. If shes worth it, you wont give up. If you give up, you’re not worthy! For those of you who really really like a girl who already has her guards up, Remember: What comes easy, won’t always last. And what will last, won’t always come easy. Patience is the key. Love her truly and if she is worth you, she will fall for you.

There have been few incidents in past one week which made me think about this topic.

I wanted to get new pair of lenses but when I went to order it, I was told to again get my number checked though I recently had got my prescription. There I got in a healthy discussion (read: polite argument) with the eye doctor about the cost of lenses while buying them online and from a shop. I believed online is cheaper while he believed shops are cheaper.

Today morning, I started discussing with a stranger (on Twitter) that how BJP in Gujarat is better than Congress. I didn’t even know that guy nor am I a firm BJP believer (I dont have much interest in Politics). I just have been in an environment where BJP is more preferred & has performed. But that particular guy opposed me and then we started having long discussions.

Last night I met an accident, I bumped my car into a bike. No harm done to anybody or anything. The guy was very poor and tried to get some money from me (but he just ended up wasting a lot of time, his as well as mine). After the accident, somebody told me that in India there is a law which says even if the fault is of a 2-wheeler guy, the 4-wheeler guy is supposed to pay for the 2-wheeler guy’s damages; 2-wheeler guy should pay for cycle people and so on (In Succinct: The bigger vehicle person, even if he has no fault, is supposed to pay). This just ignited a whole discussion in my family where I believed this law (if it actually is) is stupid, while others believed that it is fair. None of us knew if there exists such a law, we were all talking hypothetically.

All these incidents made me start wondering am I the only one with such urges to prove myself right? But then I saw some conversations on Twitter which reinstated my gut feeling that every body wants to be proved right.

Why are we so insecure(or is it really the reason for continuing to prove ourselves right)? Why don’t we just let it go and spare so much of precious time which we end up wasting for a minute of ego boost? (does it really gives your ego a boost?) Why don’t we just give up on such baseless arguments? (Yea, yea, people say we shouldn’t give up so easily but does that apply to such petty things as well?)

Well, I can’t figure out why I used to keep on arguing till I was proved right. But irrespective, I think now on I am not going to involve myself in such stupid and baseless time wasting arguments which don’t do any good to any one.

Btw, more often than not, when such stupidly baseless discussions are about to end, one or both of the involved people use the word “Never Mind”!!! So even though I am bored of the usage of word “Never Mind”, Never Mind!!

I read somewhere recently that Life is Cheap in India (all South-Asian Countries). There are just so many people that there is no value of a single individual. I don’t even want to get into the stats of how many kids are born each day in India and how many people die. Population has been our problem and every one knows that. There are various scheme government initiates to encourage couples to have just 2 kids. I recently came across this One Child Policy (Click) and read how China implemented it along with its Pros and Cons. If you have read these articles, you will notice that negatives of this policy are only because of the way Chinese Government IMPLEMENTED it. What India needs to do is simple, Encourage ONLY one birth per woman and ADOPTIONS!! It is surprising how Chinese government did not use the adoption as the cure of all problems. In case you do not have much idea about negative effects of One Child Policy, I’ll brief you!

Skewed sex ratio (Way More Men Than Women) : Now I fail to understand this. If there is a boy preference dogma in the society, couples will keep producing till they get a son. If the first kid is a boy, they need not produce again at all. If not, it increases number of women, How does this policy decreases the number of women for every 1000 men? In any case, my post is for Urban Women and they (I am sure) do not believe in this rubbish Boy-is-better-than-Girl drama. And even if you want a boy & you get a girl or vice-a-versa, GO ADOPT!!! (Here I believe that Urban Women are smart enough to know the side-effects abortions & female infanticide have. So, I believe they won’t stoop down to THAT level at least!! )

P.S. And irrespective of all this, if there are too many men for women, I think it is perfect! Guys will have to work hard and be their best self. 😛 This is what I call Women Empowerment! Yo Ladies, high-five!!

The 4-2-1 ratio: This means that the single kid has responsibility of 2 parents & 4 Grand parents. This makes people believe that the only kid will be over burdened and not able to handle responsibility! Hello, did you notice the money you saved by not getting the second child? Go, get yourself a nurse! Nurse will any day take better care of you than your child (boy or girl). And you also generate employment. This is called win-win!!

The Emperor Syndrome: Some analysts believe that if the Child won’t have a sibling, parents will over indulge in their only child and make the child a snob (No, they did not use that word. But what do you call a person who does not mingle with other kids & is over indulged by parents?) This analysis I found the funniest! Are they trying to tell that parents do not know their limits? They are almost 25-30!! They should already know. And what is this thing about not mingling with others? Who said kids only mingle with their siblings? What happened to schools kids & society kids & tuition/classes??

These are the only negatives I came across, if you know more, comment & let me know. I am sure I will have loads to say about that as well. Anyway, I don’t want to talk about JUST the policy. I’ll tell you how women can change India. Just Imagine, If all women decide to give birth to only one child (and you can adopt as many as you want), how brilliant it will be! The constant resources like land (agricultural , Forest & residential) , water, Food, Petrol etc will be available in abundance for us(Well not really abundance, but you get the point)! Nobody will die out of hunger because agricultural land will still be there, what will govt do with the excessive production (Hopefully not let it rot or export)? Traffic will be reduced to half. Oh, I can already dream about it. Right now we wait for 60 seconds (or more) on traffic signals, we will just have to wait for 30 seconds!! Our normal roads will have half the vehicles, it will be like driving on highways! best part will be residential area! We will have so much land for our houses!!

I don’t know why Indian Government does not promote adoption effectively. Whenever I hear about a celebrity adopting kids, I start respecting them. Sushmita Sen earned my respect by adopting 2 girls! There aren’t many famous Adopted Indians but I found out that Naval Tata (father of Ratan Tata) was adopted son. Also Maharaja Sayajirao Gaekwad III (Ruler of Vadodara, Gujarat) was not the born heir to the throne, he was adopted. In fact, His son was the first boy who would actually be the first direct born heir to the throne of the Gaekwads in four generations.

You know how we always talk about doing our bit for the country? This is your chance! Only you can do it and nobody else (This is a Shout-out to all the ladies!!) Please promise yourself that you will give birth to only one child, if you like lot of kids, ADOPT!!! More importantly, talk to all your girl friends about this. And when you go to any one’s marriage, make sure you talk to the bride about this!! Go Girl!!!

Since the day I started writing the Blog, I knew I was going to soon write about this. This question has been wondered about by many. It always gets me thinking. What really is the purpose of Life?

Is getting a perfect job a purpose of Life? (So studying hard & working even harder is the purpose?)

Is having that girl you always fantasized? (All this just to produce next generation of Humans?)

Or better yet, is it about praying a lot so that you get The Heaven? (What is Earth, A testing place? Placements couldn’t be the aim)

I haven’t successfully answered myself yet. I keep giving up. But this question keeps coming back to me. For the time being I am at peace with this question.

Everything we do, has aim. When we go to college, we want to make friends or study hard or just enjoy. When we argue with some one, our aim either is to prove ourselves better or just enjoy a healthy argument etc etc. You get the gist, everything has a purpose, an ulterior motive, higher aim! What about life?

Whatever you might believe, I have chosen to believe that I got this life & now since I don’t know the aim, I will rather make the best out of it while I can. I do what I love & Love what I do (I am an Android girl but love this Blackberry line 😛 )

Living a life without a purpose is like working hard at job way lower than your levels just because you have nothing better to do.