Taylor Swift to produce bland, catchy porn

TAYLOR Swift is to produce pornography that is unremarkable on the surface but really gets into your head.

The star purchased the taylorswift.porn and taylorswift.adult domains to make adult films that offer nothing unique but are broadcast everywhere 24 hours a day until you cannot forget them.

She said: “In today’s multiscreen multitasking world, nobody has the time to actually concentrate on porn from the stilted opening scenes to its sticky, shameful conclusion.

“Taylor Swift Adult Erotic needs only the most half-hearted attention in a reduced window on your desktop while you do work emails, but contains memorable grunting patterns that will replay on a loop in your mind for days.”

Wayne Hayes of Huddersfield said: “After repeated viewing I found myself mimicking the pattern of the sex sounds while on the tube.

“I wouldn’t buy it myself, it’s more my girlfriend’s sort of thing, but I must admit I’m quite looking forward to the live shows.”