History Main / RoyallyScrewedUp

** As the results, the Ancient Egyptian royal families were so biologically and ethically messed up that some archaeologists and historians argued they actually hnd it '''worse''' than the Habsburg family. The Ptolemaic royal family, for example, had many diseases attributed to them, with common descriptions of obesity, swollen necks and proptosis eyes. They also carried a recessive trait that is similar to the Habsburg jaw. In terms of moral screwed up, some of the Ptolemaic pharaohs exhibited this:

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** As the results, the Ancient Egyptian royal families were so biologically and ethically messed up that some archaeologists and historians argued they actually hnd had it '''worse''' than the Habsburg family. The Ptolemaic royal family, for example, had many diseases attributed to them, with common descriptions of obesity, swollen necks and proptosis eyes. They also carried a recessive trait that is similar to the Habsburg jaw. In terms of moral screwed up, some of the Ptolemaic pharaohs exhibited this: this: *** Ptolemy VIII murdered his nephew to gain the throne, married the mother of that nephew, had an affair with his stepdaughter, and killed his son when the same mother proclaimed him the new Pharaoh. He was described by one Roman writer to having an unattractive face and a belly that is more of a "animal" than a man.

** As the results, the Ancient Egyptian royal families were so biologically and ethically messed up that some archaeologists and historians argued they actually hnd it '''worse''' than the Habsburg family. The Ptolemaic royal family, for example, had many diseases attributed to them, with common descriptions of obesity, swollen necks and proptosis eyes. They also carried a recessive trait that is similar to the Habsburg jaw. In terms of moral screwed up, some of the Ptolemaic pharaohs exhibited this: *** Ptolemy XI who was forced to marry his stepmother and half-sister (also possibly her [[ParentalIncest biological mother]]) and murdered her nineteen days later after the marriage.*** Ptolemy VIII murdered his nephew to gain the throne, married the mother of that nephew, had an affair with his stepdaughter, and killed his son when the same mother proclaimed him the new Pharaoh. *** Arguably UsefulNotes/CleopatraVII could count given all the backstabbing against her siblings (the [[DeadlyDecadentCourt lifestyle in the court and the family]] might also contribute to it).** {{Tutankhamun}} was the worse offender of this as he was revealed to contain multiple diseases including Köhler disease II that is very rare in the genetic link, and is likely be the factor to his death. He was also said to have large front incisors,a trait passed down from the Eighteenth Dynasty royal family (1543–1292 BC).

* ''Literature/AFrozenHeart'' expands on Hans, a major character from ''Disney/{{Frozen}}'', and what his family situation looks like. Short version: it wouldn't be out of place in ''Literature/ASongOfIceAndFire''. Long version: his father is a violent SocialDarwinist dictator who both routinely abuses his wife and sons and encourages the latter to do the same to Hans. He also taxes his subjects into poverty and brutally suppresses any opposition to his regime.

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* ''Literature/AFrozenHeart'' expands on Hans, a major character from ''Disney/{{Frozen}}'', and what his family situation looks like. Short version: it wouldn't be out of place in ''Literature/ASongOfIceAndFire''. Long version: his father is a violent SocialDarwinist dictator and unhinged brute who both routinely abuses his wife and 13 sons and encourages the latter to do the same to Hans. He also taxes his subjects into poverty and brutally suppresses any opposition to his regime.

** Emperor Ferdinand I of Austria wasn't the head-choppy kind of crazy but he was definitely epileptic and had a hydrocephalus. His (rather euphemistic) honorific was "the Kindly" or "the Benign" (''Ferdinand der Gütige'' in German).[[note]]After his 1848 abdication, jokers sometimes turned this into ''Gütinand der Fertige'': "Goodinand the Finished".[[/note]] He gave exactly one coherent order during his entire reign: upon being told by his cook that he could not have ''[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marillenknodel Marillenknödel]]'' (a kind of Austrian sweet dumpling stuffed with whole apricots) for dessert because apricots were out of season, he famously said, "''Ich bin der Kaiser und ich will Knödel!''" ("I am the Emperor, and I want dumplings!").[[note]]He seems to have expressed himself much better in writing; his diary is completely coherent and even witty. Wouldn't be the first time someone with a communication disorder was passed off as dumber than they are to enable a power/money grab.[[/note]] After being told by his chancellor [[MagnificentBastard Metternich]] that the people outside the palace were carrying out a revolution (in 1848), his answer according to urban legend was: "Yes, but are they allowed to do that?"[[note]]Incidentally, he's said to have said it in the [[GermanDialects Viennese dialect of Austrian German]], which (for German-speakers) lends to the air of amiable cluelessness.[[/note]] Since he remained childless, his disabilities did not continue down the line. Not that the line would ever have become Emperors; after the aforementioned revolution, the government convinced him to abdicate in favor of his saner and (it turns out) {{Workaholic}} nephew Franz Joseph (who would reign until 1916).

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** Emperor Ferdinand I of Austria wasn't the head-choppy kind of crazy but he was definitely epileptic and had a hydrocephalus. His (rather euphemistic) honorific was "the Kindly" or "the Benign" (''Ferdinand der Gütige'' in German).[[note]]After his 1848 abdication, jokers sometimes turned this into ''Gütinand der Fertige'': "Goodinand the Finished".[[/note]] He gave exactly one coherent order during his entire reign: upon being told by his cook that he could not have ''[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marillenknodel Marillenknödel]]'' (a kind of Austrian sweet dumpling stuffed with whole apricots) for dessert because apricots were out of season, he famously said, "''Ich bin der Kaiser und ich will Knödel!''" ("I am the Emperor, and I want dumplings!").[[note]]He seems to have expressed himself much better in writing; his diary is completely coherent and even witty. Wouldn't be the first time someone with a communication disorder was passed off as dumber than they are to enable a power/money grab.[[/note]] After being told by his chancellor [[MagnificentBastard Metternich]] that the people outside the palace were carrying out a revolution (in 1848), his answer according to urban legend was: "Yes, but are they allowed to do that?"[[note]]Incidentally, he's said to have said it in the [[GermanDialects [[UsefulNotes/GermanDialects Viennese dialect of Austrian German]], which (for German-speakers) lends to the air of amiable cluelessness.[[/note]] Since he remained childless, his disabilities did not continue down the line. Not that the line would ever have become Emperors; after the aforementioned revolution, the government convinced him to abdicate in favor of his saner and (it turns out) {{Workaholic}} nephew Franz Joseph (who would reign until 1916).

*** Of course, the Emperor was probably the sanest person in the galaxy and up until the Heresy the majority of his sons were perfectly sane as well. (The exceptions being Kurze, a murderous sociopath; Angron, a blood-crazed berserker; Lorgar, a raving zealot; and Alpharius, who had colossal delusions of grandeur.)

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*** Of course, the Emperor was probably the sanest person in the galaxy and up until the Heresy the majority of his sons were perfectly sane as well. (The exceptions being Kurze, a murderous sociopath; Angron, a blood-crazed berserker; Lorgar, a raving zealot; and Alpharius, who had colossal delusions of grandeur.) [[MassiveNumberedSiblings So 4/5ths of his kids were perfectly sane.]])

* ''Literature/AFrozenHeart'' expands on Hans, a major character from ''Disney/{{Frozen}}'', and what his family situation looks like. Short version: it wouldn't be out of place in ''Literature/ASongOfIceAndFire''. Long version: his father is a violent SocialDarwinist dictator who both routinely abuses his wife and sons and encourages the latter to do the same to Hans. He also taxes his subjects into poverty and brutally suppresses any opposition to his regime.

*** Joanna was the older sister of Catherine of Aragon, first wife of Henry VIII. Her daughter Mary Tudor wedded her first cousin once removed Philip II, but they never produced a child and Philip eventually remarried with his cousin Anne of Austria. Had the English Reformation never happened, the history of the Hapsburgs may have been quite different. On one hand, a Catholic England would have opened up the gene pool a bit for the Habsburgs. On the other hand, England still might not have provided enough genetic diversity if the Habsburgs kept marrying only Habsburgs (it would probably depend on whether the English Habsburgs continued the fine British tradition of having the SpareToTheThrone inherit; the spare could then marry minor Italian and German Catholic nobles), and England might have suffered royal insanity to the same extent as the continent.

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*** Joanna was the older sister of Catherine of Aragon, first wife of Henry VIII. Her daughter Mary Tudor wedded her first cousin once removed Philip II, but they never produced a child and Philip eventually remarried with his cousin niece Anne of Austria. Had the English Reformation never happened, the history of the Hapsburgs may have been quite different. On one hand, a Catholic England would have opened up the gene pool a bit for the Habsburgs. On the other hand, England still might not have provided enough genetic diversity if the Habsburgs kept marrying only Habsburgs (it would probably depend on whether the English Habsburgs continued the fine British tradition of having the SpareToTheThrone inherit; the spare could then marry minor Italian and German Catholic nobles), and England might have suffered royal insanity to the same extent as the continent.

* The Habsburg dynasty of Austria, the UsefulNotes/HolyRomanEmpire, Spain, and various states in Northern Italy was excessively inbred even by the standards of late medieval European royalty, with a tendency towards mental instability as well as a distinctive underbite known as the "Habsburg lip" that got more disfiguring in later generations. The Habsburgs felt that not marrying "ruling houses" was beneath them and were also devout Catholics, meaning that a large part of German and European families were off limits after the Reformation, unless their partners were ready to convert.[[note]] This for instance was the case with Elisabeth Christine of Brunswick, mother of MariaTheresa. [[/note]] To make matters worse, after the Habsburgs split into an Austrian and a Spanish main line after Charles V/Carlos I, the two branches of the family kept trading marriage partners in order to continue to be able to inherit each other's throne should one of them die out. Marrying into the Spanish House of Trastamara in the early 16th century had been a shrewd political move to expand the family's power but a poor choice for genetic health as the pre-Reconquista Spanish houses were already pretty inbred. Even by that low bar, the Trastamaras were noted for their history of oddballs, although the number of truly crazy family members may have been overstated by their enemies.

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* The Habsburg dynasty of Austria, the UsefulNotes/HolyRomanEmpire, Spain, and various states in Northern Italy was excessively inbred even by the standards of late medieval European royalty, with a tendency towards mental instability as well as a distinctive underbite known as the "Habsburg lip" that got more disfiguring in later generations. The Habsburgs felt that not marrying "ruling houses" was beneath them and were also devout Catholics, meaning that a large part of German and European families were off limits after the Reformation, unless their partners were ready to convert.[[note]] This for instance was the case with Elisabeth Christine of Brunswick, mother of MariaTheresa.UsefulNotes/MariaTheresa. [[/note]] To make matters worse, after the Habsburgs split into an Austrian and a Spanish main line after Charles V/Carlos I, the two branches of the family kept trading marriage partners in order to continue to be able to inherit each other's throne should one of them die out. Marrying into the Spanish House of Trastamara in the early 16th century had been a shrewd political move to expand the family's power but a poor choice for genetic health as the pre-Reconquista Spanish houses were already pretty inbred. Even by that low bar, the Trastamaras were noted for their history of oddballs, although the number of truly crazy family members may have been overstated by their enemies.

* Also of Marvel, SelfDemonstrating/{{Magneto}} and his offspring formed a ComicBook/HouseOfM in the miniseries of the same name, but in a subversion (aversion?), the royal family seemed pretty well-balanced. In the [[ComicBook/UltimateMarvel Ultimate line]], however, the same 'royal family' is... Well, let's just say they've got ''problems''. General explanation? Big Daddy M's crazy-genes, plus power-induced madness.

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* Also of Marvel, SelfDemonstrating/{{Magneto}} ComicBook/{{Magneto}} and his offspring formed a ComicBook/HouseOfM in the miniseries of the same name, but in a subversion (aversion?), the royal family seemed pretty well-balanced. In the [[ComicBook/UltimateMarvel Ultimate line]], however, the same 'royal family' is... Well, let's just say they've got ''problems''. General explanation? Big Daddy M's crazy-genes, plus power-induced madness.

[[TheCaligula What follows is either a reign of grotesque excess, blood, and terror]], or some other form of epically [[AdiposeRex bad king]] or [[GodSaveUsFromTheQueen queen]]. Rarely, you'll actually get somebody [[CrazyEnoughToWork so bonkers]] and [[TheMadnessPlace out there]], [[BunnyEarsLawyer they actually work well]] enough for their... little quirks (they're just ''paintings'', for crying out loud!) to be ignorable. Eventually, however, our [[NoodleIncident "At Least Painting the Throne-Room Puce and Yellow Worked"]] King Dolf or [[SerialKiller "Perhaps We Should Have Looked Into Those Cats More"]] Queen Enid will leave the throne (or be made to leave)... That should be the end of this outbreak of eccentricity, right?

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[[TheCaligula What follows is either a reign of grotesque excess, blood, and terror]], or some other form of epically [[AdiposeRex bad king]] or [[GodSaveUsFromTheQueen queen]]. Rarely, you'll actually get somebody [[CrazyEnoughToWork so bonkers]] and [[TheMadnessPlace out there]], [[BunnyEarsLawyer they actually actually]] [[TheWonka work well]] enough for their... little quirks (they're just ''paintings'', for crying out loud!) to be ignorable. Eventually, however, our [[NoodleIncident "At Least Painting the Throne-Room Puce and Yellow Worked"]] King Dolf or [[SerialKiller "Perhaps We Should Have Looked Into Those Cats More"]] Queen Enid will leave the throne (or be made to leave)... That should be the end of this outbreak of eccentricity, right?

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