I posted a new, non-Biblical organizational structure for the next edition of The Loose Canon on the FSM Consortium a few days ago. Questions, comments, concerns, feedback, insults, and suggestions are both welcome and strongly encouraged. I would like some real discussion of the subject, because if we all like it, in addition to the good it will do for the next edition of the book, it may help us organize the way we receive new submissions here on this forum.

Again, fellow members of the Council of Olive Garden, I would like some feedback on my suggested organizational structure.

As an Italian, I must object to the use of the Olive Garden, which is as far from real Italian food as you can possibly get. I don't care how good their breadsticks are (they are really good), but they are not a proper restaurant.

I must object to your objection while many holy dishes are based on Italian style pasta Noodles have been used for much longer to honour The Great Noodle, and was it not in The Olive Garden of Eden that Our Lord first instructed His creation to make a meal in his Honour?

That midget, however, was goddamn noisy. The FSM couldn’t deal with all the complaining down on earth, so the Lord FSM commanded the midget, saying, “Here’s an idea . . . why don’t you collect the semolina, rice and what-have-you, and make pasta in my image. That’s what it’s there for. And fill your mouth with it and be quiet and peaceful. But be careful with the olive tree, for the olive itself is good, but the pit inside is rock hard and you could choke on it or break a tooth, so you should consider it as evil; if you choke you shall surely die. Which would mean I wasted a hell of a lot of time on you, although I’m already having second thoughts.”

Ah, but the great and mighty Noodly One (Pesto Be Unto Him) never said that it was the Olive Garden, but rather the Garden of Olives. The Olive Garden was created as a temptation to all pastafarians by claiming that they serve pasta, but in actuality it is not pasta, but some sort of mushy stuff. The breadsticks are still good though.

Those that formed the Council of The Olive Garden many yeas ago are amongst our greatest Sages & Prophets, if Our Lord and Creator has chosen to guide them to call themselves in such a way them I for one accept His Guidance. Do you hear our Asian brethren complaining about Him choosing the name The Flying Spaghetti Monster when the Noodle, which is a most holy representation of his form, was being made from the earliest times[1]. I have heard not tales of them crying up to him and asking "What is this Spaghetti of which you speak? We know not of this dish"

All peoples and nations are the children of The Great Noodle. So is it not appropriate that the titles and names he picks are none geographic?

[1]October 12, 2005—A 4,000-year-old bowl of noodles unearthed in China is the earliest example ever found of one of the world's most popular foods, scientists reported today. It also suggests an Asian—not Italian—origin for the staple dish.

14. Vengence belongs only to the Holy One. Should you happen upon a restaurant that serves pasta that is not up to the standard of the Holy One, simply deny that restaurant your business in the future. You shall not vandalize, burn, harass, or otherwise disturb the peace.

That is an issue between yourself and His Noodlyness. But even if the restaurant of which you speak was named before the formation of the council it is them that have infringed the copyright of the name of the council as the name was already pre owned by them.

I understand that, Edd, but I just feel it would be very useful to discuss it as soon as possible, because the sooner we get the organization system worked out (be it mine, the original one, or another), the sooner we can start accepting new submissions.

I mean, we can accept them anyway, but it would keep things neater and eliminate confusion.

Huh. I was going to suggest a re-ordering myself. At the very least, I think Bobby's letter should go first since it started it all, and that we should include the warnings about midgets and contradictions that are printed at the start of tGotFSM because those were FUNNY!!