Miami’s not the No. 1 roach capital, but we still have bragging rights

Since it’s winter (everywhere else), it goes without saying that Miami weather lends itself to bragging rights. You know, the whole “we live where you vacation” spiel. But here’s something to keep under the rug: That same weather — that draws crowds to our beaches year round — places us in the top ranks among United States cities with the most cockroaches.

Miami is No. 3 on the list, with 32 percent of households admitting to having signs of roaches, according to a recently released U.S. Census project called the American Housing Survey. The only solace in that is it means every one in three people who piss you off on I-95 have roaches. LOL. Gross, right? But common.

Insect experts like Dr. Jim Fredericks of the National Pest Management Association said roaches love Miami for its weather, specifically for the crazy intense humidity.

“Cockroaches that are in the U.S. and around the world thrive in tropical and semi-tropical environments. I don’t think there’s any more tropical environment than Miami in the continental U.S. Plus there’s a density of population,” Fredericks said.

The climate is so suitable for roaches, that Dr. Fredericks called the report’s findings “not surprising.”

Umm, fine.

Buuut if cockroaches like Miami so much, why aren’t we No. 1? And since we got admitting our little roach problem out the way, who’s taking spots one and two?

According to the American Housing Survey, more than 41 percent of New Orleans has signs of cockroaches and Houston’s not that far behind them at 37.9 percent of homes reporting problems with the pests.

But Miami’s so-called “Palmetto bugs,” much like their human counterparts, still have some bragging rights: They are the biggest roaches out there. You can’t miss ’em.