With the Rugby World Cup on the horizon, iafrica.com‘s Dan Nicholl exclusively presents Bakkies Botha’s Guide To Paris, the definitive guide for players and fans heading to France next month.The cafés, the galleries, the sheer sense of history – l’esprit de Paris is something unique, an extraordinary palate of cultural experience that only Welkom and Brakpan come close to matching in my book (the practice of marrying your cousin, however, isn’t quite so widespread in Paris). The rugby is my main focus, certainly, but spending time in Paris will be magnifique……and top of my list will be food. French cuisine is a rather rustic affair, granted – there’s no Gallic answer to boerewors, the French simply don’t have a word for braai (I checked my Afrikaans/French dictionary, a text I finally found on Amazon after months of searching), and you just don’t find biltong in Paris, which lends the city a somewhat medieval air. But for a nation still to discover the magic of the pooijtie, they make a decent fist of eating.The pain au chocolat is a personal favourite of mine, although it does go straight to the hips (just ask Ricky J), and Parisian croissants are up there with Klein Jannie’s in De Villier’s Laan, up the road from me. France is still recovering from the war, which means they still eat things like snails, frogs and horses (having eaten after an away game against the Griffons, I have a sneaking suspicion I’ve eaten horse before), but French lamb is outstanding, and a basic croquet monsieur or baguette has a simple elegance redolent of a good Durban bunny chow.Enough food (although try Le Petit Canard in the ninth, a veritable temple, as the name suggests, to quacking gastronomy; avoid it if you’re not a fan of duck, though); France abounds in culture as well. We’re very blessed in South Africa in terms of culture – we have the tractor museum in Villiersdorp, modern day Beethovens in the form of Die Campbells and Thys die Bosveld Klong, the art house cinema of Leon Schuster, and in the sokkie, ballet taken to an ethereal high. But again, the French make an enthusiastic go of their limited resources.The Louvre was made famous by the Da Vinci Code, the brilliant research work that proved conclusively that Tom Hanks is a direct descendant of Ray McCauley; however, it’s also an art gallery, that’s got some cool paintings. The most viewed work is of the Moaning Lisa, a picture of a rather plump, grumpy looking woman with no eyebrows, who I’m almost certain Gurthro used to go out with (he denies it). The place is a bit rundown – there’s a statue of Venus (which looks nothing like the planet, to be honest) with both arms broken off, and they still hadn’t chucked it out last time I was there – but there are awesome mummies in the Egypt section worth checking out. (Egyptians have certain gender issues I’m not entirely comfortable with.)The Eiffel Tower, Paris’s answer to the Vodacom Tower in Jo’burg, has great views, the Palace of Versailles is dripping in history, and the Arc de Triomphe makes for great photos – although the circle surrounding it is full of people who think they’re minibus taxi drivers. Not that they have proper taxis in Paris – and can you believe that in four visits, I haven’t seen a single Toyota bakkie? Not a single one; you have to feel sorry for a people deprived of basic necessities.Shopping in Paris is a bit of a mixed bag. Monty always raves about Gallerie Lafayette , where he gets all his clothes, but you try and find a decent two-toned shirt or long socks in there; and Wynand gets his matchday foundation and eyeliner at Sephora on the Champs Elysées, but that’s not really my scene. I do like to pick up some French wine when I’m in Paris, though, and a good vintage French cognac goes almost as well with Coke as ten-year-old Klipdrift.All in all, then, Paris is a great city, worthy of being named after Parys. Always say bonjour to people you meet, and make it clear you’re not English, or they won’t speak to you (and understandably so). Eat well, drink plenty of wine, and enjoy what is essentially a step back in time. No, it’s not South Africa, but you can catch up on 7de Laan and Casper de Vries on your PVR when you’re back – while you’re there, make the most of it. Bon voyage, mes amis – et allez les Boks!

Ye right…!

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