Battered and abused women are an epidemic in today’s society because women who are abused are often afraid to seek help. Whether they do not know that help is available or because they are afraid to leave the relationship, abused women sometimes stay with the abuser out of fear. Many times they are afraid to leave the financial security of the relationship because of their children. They might even refuse the help and advice of friends for fear that the abuser will find out and become even more violent. The following information covers the reasons why abused women stay with their abusers, as well as some ways to help prevent abuse from happening to a friend or loved one.

The Excuses Many abused women not only stay with their abusers, but they also make excuses for them. When a friend notices their bruises, they might say things like, “He didn’t mean to hurt me” or “It was just this one time.” These excuses come from a fear of hopelessness or a fear that the abuser will find out if anything else is said. In many cases, the abused women even blame themselves for their abuser’s anger. They might think that they were the reason for the anger and if they just change their ways, it won’t happen again. Unfortunately, this is almost never the case.

The AttractionWhile it is not an excuse for abuse, many women are attracted to the “bad boys” that they meet. These men are generally the type of men that have a propensity for abuse. They might have anger or frustration problems, which cause them to lash out at the slightest things.

Unfortunately, they typically take it out on the woman in their life. After having kids, many women feel trapped in these relationships because of financial security or a feeling that they do not deserve someone better.

Some women simply fall for guys that are bad for them. They usually follow this pattern throughout their lifetime and only feel secure when they are in a relationship that is unproductive and unhealthy. As a result, they might not even feel comfortable in a relationship where they are treated right. Abused women who fall into this pattern will often look for men that have the same abusive qualities rather than trying to find other types of men who are healthier.

Help for Abused Women Women who are abused are generally unreceptive to the idea of help. If you have a friend who is being abused, there are several things you can to do help encourage her to get help. While you can’t drag her to a battered women’s shelter or make her do something against her will, you can help her figure out other options and do some of the legwork that she might be afraid to do. The following tips for helping physically or emotionally abused women could help you learn how to help save your friend or loved one.

*Find places where they can stay for an extended period. Many women are afraid to leave their husbands or boyfriends because they don’t have anywhere to stay for an extended time.

Some shelters will allow battered women to stay for a few nights, but they must find another place to stay after that. This often means going back home to face the abuser if she has no family in the general area. This will only serve to enrage the abuser which, in turn, makes it worse on the woman to have ever left in the first place. If you can do some research for your friend or for someone you are concerned about, it can be a huge step for getting her out of the bad situation.

*Continue to support her in her decision to leave.Some women who are abused know that they need to get out of the situation, but they might change their minds after making the decision. They might think about repercussions or other reasons why they should stay with the abusive husband or boyfriend. If you can continue to remind her of the reasons why she needs to leave and stay away, you can be a voice of reason in her life. Your encouragement and constant badgering might just be the prodding she needs to leave a physically or emotionally abusive relationship.

*Physically help her leave.

Some abused women know they should leave, but can’t imagine how to do all the packing alone. This is how you can help.

Ideally, this should be done in the presence of police officers if the abuser returns and wants to stop her from leaving. You can be the one to make the call to the police if your friend is not comfortable doing so. Make sure to help her pack clothes, important documents and anything else she will need in the coming days. Since you are more detached from the situation, your mind will be able to focus more on what she should take out of the house with her.

*Be a source of comfort during her transition.Help for abused women can come in a variety of ways. Being a comforting friend that she can turn to is one of the best ways to help. Whether you supply her with a place to stay, help her out financially, or just by being a source of comfort during these trying times, you can do your part to get her out of the situation. Being the comforter, though, can be an exhausting and frustrating situation. It may take the abused woman a few times of leaving before she actually decides to stay away for good. Try to be strong and don’t give up on her. If she knows you are there for her, it could be the difference in her staying gone when she does leave.

*Find an abused women support groupOne of the ways you can help an abused woman is by finding her a group to join where others understand her situation. Many communities offer abused women support for free and you can often find several meetings each week in a local paper.

If it will help, you can even attend the abused women support group meetings with her to encourage her and help her feel like she is not alone. You can also find a variety of other services that provide help for abused women, such as shelters, job services and housing services.

In most instances, the best help for physically and emotionally abused women is just to be a good friend to them. They might feel alone in their situation and feel that there is no way out. By being a good friend and an encourager throughout the ordeal, you can help them leave the situation before it’s too late. The important part is to be there if she needs you. If you have the patience, the courage and the stamina to help a friend out of an abusive relationship, she will undoubtedly be grateful to you forever. With some women who are abused, being a good friend could even be the difference between life and death.

Are You in an Abusive Relationship?How bad does it have to get before you say enough is enough? An abusive relationship saps your energy, strips away your dignity and can be physically dangerous to you and your family. If you’re not sure whether or not your relationship is abusive, answer the following questions honestly in this abusive relationship quiz.