Alma lives, breathes and conspires with Orson’s mom

The night starts with a Christmas block party. The man Lynette accused of being a child molester shows up as Santa with toys for little boys. No one talked to him, so he left. He got fired from his job, spit on at the hardware store, and the diner refused to serve him and his sister. His sister told Lynette that she wasn’t a well woman, she didn’t need this stress.

Lynette met with the other mothers on the street. She thought they would strategize about how to keep their kids safe. Instead, they were making big “Move Away Child Molester” signs and staging a protest in front of his house. The sister has a heart attack, and she dies. Lynette goes over to apologize. She offers to call relatives, arrange the funeral… “You must be feeling guilty,” he says.

She is, and then he tells her that he should thank her, because his sister only saw the good in him, she never saw the bad. He had to be careful, he had to never slip up, because he never wanted to do anything that would hurt her. But now that she’s gone, he’s free. In short: He told Lynette that she was right, that he’d like to be a child molester. He wasn’t. But now, he can be.

She tells him he can’t stay here. He says his bags are packed. She asks where he’s going to go? Why, he asks her, are you going to write?

Mike is arrested for the murder of Monique. From his jail cell he tells Edie to get him a good lawyer, and to make sure the attorney knows that Monique’s blood was found on the wrench. Edie hears that, and says that she doesn’t know if Mike has noticed — but she just isn’t happy. And she hasn’t felt happy for a while. She should have told him this weeks ago, but things were going too fast, and she suggests they see other people.

Susan visits because she feels certain that Mike is innocent. She wants to go through Orson’s things and look for evidence. She wants Bree to go to the police and tell them that Orson and Monique had an affair. But once Bree hears Mike was arrested, she feels that Orson’s name is clear. Still, Susan plays Nancy Drew, steals the key to Orson’s office and sneaks in. Orson shows up, eats a pizza and watches the game. And Susan goes through his private boxes in the supply cabinet and finds out that Orson was in a mental institution for a year.

Bree listens to his explanation of how he was in a loveless marriage, that he married Alma because she was pregnant and she miscarried a month after the wedding. And then he met Monique — and he had never loved anyone that much — until he met Bree.

Bree takes him home and kicks his mother out. Orson’s mother takes out her cell phone and tells someone to meet her at the corner. When she walks up to the car, it’s Alma. (Spooky. So, he didn’t kill her.)

Susan’s sensitive British guy has asked Susan to cook dinner for his parents — they had a four-hour layover — but Susan can’t cook. (And Bree wouldn’t cook for her after Susan wanted her to turn in Orson.) Susan was too busy playing girl detective to come home and chef something up. The sensitive British guy is paranoid that Susan will get back together with Mike so he offers to pay for the best lawyer in town, on the condition that Susan doesn’t see Mike again. Doesn’t this seem like the same power, control issues Susan rebelled against with her ex-husband.

Gabrielle wants to cut one of the kids she trains for a pageant. But when her widower father shows up, he’s beautiful, and rich, and she’s instantly attracted to him. The girl tells Gabby to stay away from her daddy. Gabby tells the girl that she isn’t trying to replace her dead mother. The girl is, though, as she has a plan to get her dad to marry her best friend’s mom. But Gabby breaks up the friendship and sets up a date for Saturday night.

All-in-all good writing, fast-paced episode. I wonder what horrors lie with Orson’s mother — and what Alma is doing with her.