Archive for the ‘Russia’ Category

My plasma began to boil. Wafts of vile hatred simmered and smoked throughout the room. The putrid odor of unadulterated anger, hypocrisy and bigotry stole the oxygen from the air making life an impossible illusion. I had to get out before my head exploded. Or, easier yet, I had to switch the channel. MSNBC and their mob of maniacs had gone over the top months ago. They have infected the media’s sewer system and my plasma TV with such outrageous lies that I have no choice but to sack my humorous banter for a few minutes to tell the truth. So help me God.

“President Trump to be impeached!” was being reported as fact after an ABC reporter declared that Michael Flynn was going to flip to confirm Trump’s collusion with Russia. Only after Joy Behar, Rachael Maddow and their corrupt cronies danced with delight over the news did ABC finally admit it was all a lie. ALTBTL. Another Lie Told By The Left.

Facts by fantasy has so impugned honest journalism that I must do my part to deliver reality to those that haven’t the ability to decipher fact from fiction or apply common sense to every day situations.

“The tax cuts will cut off spending on cancer treatment”. Believe it or not, there are people that actually believe that to be true. They believe it because their manipulators tell them so but, of course, that is as far from the truth as earth is from Pluto. Nobody elected to congress whether DNC or GOP is going to cut the throats of their most active constitutions, the over 50 club.

“Donald Trump hates Jews, Women and immigrants”. Really? His daughter, son-in-law and their children, Donald’s grandchildren, are, news flash, Jewish! Do the Mika Brzezinski’s of the world think he hates them or the faith they follow? Really? And immigrants. His wife, our First Lady, is an immigrant! The controversy is over those that cross the border illegally. The vast majority, Trump agrees, are good, hard working people. It’s the criminals that come over that are at issue. If you were the parent of a child that was killed by a drunk driver that had prior victims south of the border, you might have second thoughts. Letting people in with open arms without checking their records is insane! How can anyone with any humanitarian values disagree with that? Safety, I would hope, would be at the forefront of everyone’s mind when deciding the immigration issue.

“Donald Trump and Judge Roy Moore are sexual deviants”. Words are dangerous to be sure but they are words, not physical objects. What Trump said in a locker room is disgusting but if every man that bragged to another man what he’s done with a woman was a criminal offense, there would be more jails than houses in the USA. Male braggadocio is as old as Neanderthal’s painting their imagined conquests on the walls of caves. Ain’t pretty but it’s totally harmless.

The allegations against Judge Moore are just that, allegations with no proof. In forty years not one woman complained about Moore’s behavior. Only a couple months before an election the Democrat’s deem to be on the hinge of the party’s existence did these women come crawling out of nowhere. That, per any iota of common sense, should be cause for great suspicion.

What is most upsetting to any human being who has even a hint of compassion is the total disregard for the confirmed sexual predators from the left side of the aisle. Bill Clinton had sex with a barely legal girl in the Oval Office and was caught lying about it over and over but the so-called “champions or women;s rights” in the Democrat party go silent as a rock. Senator Al Franken’s deviant behavior is well documented with photographs yet only now is the left calling for his removal. Polling is what drives the liberals, not morality. The majority of Americans that were polled by the DNC showed an inconsequential attitude. They didn’t care that Clinton had sex with a young girl in the oval office so the media and the Democrat party let the pervert flag fly. Today, however, there is anger over the sexual misconduct of John Conyers and Al Franken et al, so they follow the polls and demand them to resign. The hypocrisy couldn’t be more evident within the liberals of this great country but the sheep either don’t care or are too enamored by their esteemed leaders to know their own hearts.

“Trump colluded with Russia!”. That lie began with Hillary Clinton’s refusal to accept reality and has festered to every branch of the Democrat’s army of manipulators. There is hardly an hour on CNN, NBC or MSNBC that their hosts don’t follow the puppet masters that give them talking points to insist Trump and Putin fixed the election. Their damning rhetoric is costing Americans millions of dollars via special councils that we have now learned have liberal biased investigators who have skewed reports and leaks to show collusion. The actual fact is that there was and is collusion in DC but it is in between the FBI and Obama’s Department of Justice. They are the ones that did not investigate Hillary Clinton’s emails that violated federal laws nor the possibility of a private Uranium One deal that put millions into the coffers of the Clinton Foundation that keeps ninety six cents of every dollar “donated” to cover “overhead” costs.

The list of lies and deliberate bias in the media and even in the FBI, for God’s sake, is nearly endless. But, all this talk without one single laugh line is exhausting! I, your devoted Boo Feeder, will be back soon with a Much lighter take on the events that shape our lives.

In an exclusive interview with our Boo Feeder, Nancy Pelosi made some interesting observations that we are still trying to unravel. Read the question and answer session to form you own opinion. She was about to enter the Washington National’s stadium to watch the 108th annual Congressional Baseball Game when Feeder caught her in the elevator.

“Mrs. Pelosi, my name is Boo Feeder. Can I ask you a few questions before the game begins?”

“Feeder? Oh why yes of course! Your name ends in a vowel right? I always feel a special connection to our Italian – American heritage! ” She said while flailing her hands inside the tight space of an elevator.

Amazed that Mrs. Pelosi thinks an “r” is a vowel, Boo Feeder smiled then took advantage of the opportunity and continued the interview with ” Mrs. Pelosi, you called for Donald Trump to be impeached on Monday then one day later after the shooting of Steve Scalise said that you pray for Trump to have a successful presidency. Which one is it ma’am?”

“Young man! Why are we not moving? I pushed that button thingy for the penthouse suite and we haven’t left the first freaking floor!” She swung her arms so hard that her right hand hit Boo Feeder in the nose causing his delicate olfactory to spill blood all over his shirt. ” Hey pie-san you’re going to get blood on my Prada purse! You dumb wop! Get me out of here!” This time it was her left hand that she slung into his eye. “And hey pretty boy. What’s your name? Guido? Guido push that god damned button again. The one that has ML on it. Mi Lacasa! My home! Get me there goom-bah!”

Seeing no point to tell her ML was for the Mezzanine Level not whatever this crazy woman who’s now given him a black eye to match his broken nose, Boo went on ” Do you agree that the hateful, violent actions on the left such as mock beheadings and assassinations have ginned up the more mentally unstable citizens like the man who set out to massacre republicans?”

The elevator stopped then Pelosi stormed out screaming ” Where’s my people? Where the hell is my goddamned aide? Antonio, where are you sweetheart?” she kept yelling to crowds of people who kept clear of a woman who would have been best served with a straight-jacket than a Prada handbag.

Feeder, running after her with one hand squeezing his nose and covering his eye with the other looked just as insane as his prey. Then, lucky for him, someone on Pelosi’s staff swept her into a corporate box where he continued the conversation.

“Mrs. Pelosi, please can you tell me whether you blame the pundits, politicians and media for dividing the USA with acts of violence and what can you do to stop the madness?”

“Here boy, use this napkin on your nose. It’s disgusting!” She handed Feeder a Kotex she’d kept in her purse in remembrance of happier days then said “Blame? Oh no, I don’t blame my dear friends Ratchet Madcowe, Dan Crathers or Katy Griffing or anybody. We have to get it on! You know what I’m saying pie-sang? How dare they be so sanctimonkeyous! C’mon Boosh, we got’s business to take care of!” She slurred out then rolled her head backwards demanding someone walking by the opened door “Boy! Get me a damned drink! Vodka on the rocks but not the Russian kind. Leave that for Donald Trump. He drinks Russian vodka you know. I think he should..” Pelosi stopped mid sentence to stand up and run out on to the walkway screaming ” Did you hear that? Some guy on the loudspeaker said ” Sherman shot a bullet down first base line!” then screamed “GET OUTA THIS GOD FORSAKING PLACE! The freaking ass tanks are coming for us with weaponage! ”

Boo Feeder let he go, trying to interview a sober Nancy Pelosi was hard enough. Making sense of Pelosi after she’s had one or seven too many was a task only MSNBC would partake in. He went to the nearest Quick Care to have his injuries patched up then drove home breathing through his mouth and negotiating 495 with one eye, a task almost as dangerous as an interview with Nancy Pelosi.

Boofeeder recently applied to MSNBC for the host position vacated by Corrine Brown ( D-Fla) who was to be filling in for Rev. Al Sharpton while he goes on leave for a sex reassignment operation. Whether his or not is not known at this writing. Nevertheless, ex-congresswoman Brown will be away serving time, er … visiting her constituents at Allenwood Federal Prison for the next dozen or so years. The job opportunity comes at a time when Boofeeder would welcome the extra income to support his ailing cat, Boo.

Which syllable in “impeachment” is emfasized? : Emphasized? That would be on IM-peach-ment

How many eye rolls can you do when the name “Trump” is menshunnned? Mentioned? As many as it takes to get the job

Are you able to shout “Trump Loves Putin!” without spitting? Yes, maybe.

Trump is in Israel now. Give a brief example of how you would begin your report if you were there: Here we are with Trump in Israel which is only 1600 miles from Moscow. That’s less than three hours away from Russia, plenty of time to collude with Putin on how to fix more elections. Russia, Russia, Russia! IMpeach Trump! Russia, Russia. Too damn close to Russia!

Does Miladia Trump speak Russian? Melania? Of course! ALL Trumps speak Russian. They are Russia’s best friends!

How Much Do You Hate Trump? RUSSSSSSSSIA!!!!!!!

May 22, 2017 Update:

Boofeeder was turned down for the following reasons per an email received this morning that reads in part:

Mr. Ms. or Wz. Boofeeder, We are happy to inform you that you will not be working for us. You are clearly too enamored with Trump to fill the chair in our esteemed studio. For one, spelling is Not to be korrected. Words cannot be put in a box, they must be free to be themselves whatever that is. Also, 179 times is all you can manage to say Russia in one minute? Our hosts and guests top our minimum requirement of 225 Russias/Minute. Also, we know you are a liar! 2 polar bears times 12 moons? Really? Everyone knows there will be no more polar bears in 12 moons! Study up on Global Warming and speeding up your Russia spewing skills then get back to us. But! Be quick be cause imPEACHment will be sooner than you thing.

So much for that! Looks like Boofeeder will be selling his watch collection to pay the veterinarian.