So I went shopping with Karl. It’s even more fun than the podcasts because he’s also got real life and the public to contend with as well as me. I was buying Jane a posh clutch bag as for her birthday in the Bond Street area. “That’s nice,” I said pointing at a small purse type thing on its own plinth protected by lasers. “Snake skin Sir,” said the European man with interesting hair. (Hmm. I knew she would prefer a synthetic material and exotic animals that aren’t even killed primarily for food wouldn’t have gone down well.) “Oh OK… that one?” “Alligator”… “Oh… no… I don’t…. that one?” “Ostrich.”At this point Karl piped up and said, “Why did Noah go to all that trouble?” I fell about laughing and left the shop. I eventually found this. A beautiful Alexander McQueen one. Velvet. Nothing died so that she could carry lipstick and an iPhone to an awards do. Now please buy one of my DVDs to cover the cost. Have a great weekend.

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