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From blockades and ridiculous reasons for them, the Onett Police Force are pretty unpredictable and outlandish as usual. They are rude, brash men, even showing fits of lazy; especially telling YOU, a CHILD, to restrain your fat neighbor! What's the deal?? I nominate them for Worst Police Force In Eagleland. Is it the fault of Onett's rather bulbous mayor Pirkle; or Strongbad himself? The bottom line is, the OPF are just lazy, arrogant jerks in general. Not to mention, cowardly. (I bet you thought you were going to collapse from lack of HP from that last Policeman? Hah! You lucked out!)

The cops of Onett live simple lives. Their humble home of these men is right next to the Bakery! Bett you didn't notice that! The Bakery is a revolving door of bored Onett cops circling in and out, eating the day away while continuing to blockade the roads every time a little girl skins her knee on her way to Twoson. Boring, boring boring. They have to deal with Pokey being naughty as usual, of course; thieving from the bakery, pulling cruel pranks on the residents, just being a fat little twerp in general. What's a small-town cop to do?

Then one fateful night, everything changed for all the residents in town. People began acting strangely, the Sharks were running amok, and things were just in utter chaos! But, voices spoke in the cops' heads. They were told that a new, exciting thing to take care of was coming along! An opportunity to prove that they were the Best Cops In The Country! All they had to do was rid of a strange local boy wearing a red hat. He possessed a power that this ordinary town didn't want! The voice spoke to them in velvety tones. They would do it. Yes. Even at the most drastic of measures. The town was slowly being brainwashed to turn against one another. All the people, all the animals. The cops would put a stop to this nonsense!

And thus, that fateful afternoon when a little boy with a baseball bat and strange powers ventured into the police station... The day to prove themselves.