“I saw (the fan) out of the corner of my eye and I honestly thought it was someone from their dugout, like a trainer, going to see [hit batsman Telvin] Nash,” Hassebrock said. “Then I realized when he was halfway between the (foul) line and the mound, that he was a fan. My first thought was I just hoped he didn’t have a gun or something weird. If he’s crazy enough to be on the field, who knows what he had on him. By the time he got to me, he stopped and it looked like he came to and regretted being out there in the first place. We didn’t (make contact).

“This was something out of ‘Eastbound and Down.’ (What he said) was pretty much inaudible, drunken gibberish. (There was) a couple of f-bombs and some slurring. I’m pretty sure he was upset I hit Nash.

Luckily for Hassebrock, his teammate and shortstop Dusty Coleman shoved the fan-idiot to the ground. After all, if you go after one RockHound, you go after all the RockHounds.