January 03, 2007

Beauty and the Geek

Giving in to the advertising blitz was inevitable: Gawker, MySpace and Netflix tear-offs?

But I was struck, struck! with something-- two of these "geeks" from (ASHTON KUTCHER'S! OMG!) Beauty and the Geek are clearly bone-able and have no business being on such a trivial, dittly show. That I totally planned on watching weeks in advance. With excitement.

First, and most importantly (the object of my sad, sad cyberstalking), is Nate. Here's his MySpace profile. We'll come to that in a second.

Exposed! A photo montage, proof that virginal geeks were not the only ones sought to be on this show--oh no! Producers, casters (ASHTON KUTCHER??!?! OMG!!) sought out a couple of SEXYGEEKS, geeks that, in the right place, in the the right circumstances would be getting PUHlenty of sweet ass if they so desired. And they could still talk about their StarWars Tribute Band or advanced calculus or whatever. Because the girls I watched the show with would SO HIT THIS.

And so. would. I:

Look at that body language! The confidence! THE TIE!!

I would TOTALLY undress that!

No one believes you haven't had some serious, serious sex.Which brings me back to the MySpace page:

Last time I checked, this was EVERY SINGLE HIPSTER I HAVE EVER MET. Item: they're ALL getting laid.

And would you rather have him all cleaned up, ready to take home? You know, to ravage?

Yeah. That's Nate, our new drool-inducer. He of the NorthWest Body.

Clearly, someone has a clear advantage over the less-fortunate geeks.

Also, I guess this is secondly, worth noting, is that the Scooter character from MT (I'm always a softie for the folks who grew up in my home state) seems to be the real deal (geeky, shy, a little awkward) but just needs to pull his head out of his ass: