July 23, 2005

Congratulations on your relationship with Jesus! From your appearance I might have assumed that you and the [alleged] Messiah were on the outs; certainly a woman who had a personal connection with God would dress a bit nattier, don't you think?

But no -- you may not dress the part, but you proclaim your faith so loudly and repeatedly that it must be true: Jesus is your personal savior, and more power to you. Or him.

I didn't have the chance earlier to discuss this topic at greater length with you, so let me take this opportunity to be more clear: please enjoy Jesus responsibly.

Jesus may be your favorite diety, but he's really not my cup of tea. And though I'm pleased to live in a country where everyone ostensibly gets to believe as they wish, I don't need to spend my hour-long commute listening to you sing praises and hymns to the glory of this guy.

And when I politely ask you to tone it down a little and let the rest of us go to hell in peace, I don't want to hear how you're doing holy work by being witness of Christ's love. I don't want to hear that when the spirit takes you, you can't hold it in.

Here's a tip: if you're looking for Jesus, try a church.

Please allow those of us who are misguided enough to believe in something other than your beliefs to go our merry ways without having to suffer through your tone-deaf halleluyahs.

In case I get the urge to write some more stupidity outside of Pillage Idiot, and you want to receive it in email form, send me an email (correct the address first), and I'll add you to the Pillage Idiot Retirement Mailing List.