"It was a beautiful, perfectly pleasant morning, and I woke up early, so I thought I'd treat myself to a little bike commute. Some idiot truck had other plans for me. He started coming over into my lane and forced me on to some trolley tracks, which road bikes don't really care for. My truck friend kept going, but one of my favorite bums that hangs out at the Y was there to scrape me off the street. So sweet. Anyhow, this wouldn't be worth mentioning, except that I have the most amazing injury. I stupidly wore some ballet flats to bike in, which left the top of my foot prime for the taking. I ended up with side by side circular abrasions that very closely resemble a vampire bite. I look so tough. Now I'm rewarding myself by listening exclusively to Rick Ross, sans headphones."

This guy was covered in Beef Jerky packets. He tossed us some. It was really good.
Let me reframe that: Yesterday a man tore a piece of dried flesh that had been hanging off his sweaty body and threw it at me as I sat by the side of the road. I picked it up, put it in my mouth, and it was delicious.

"i haven't read it, it's so damn long. all i know is that some assistant coach diddled some kids or something
and joe paterno was all, nbd.
and he's probably rolling in his grave now that this story is out in the public."

"I'm in absolute shock and a lot of horror at the thought something like this might even possibly be real," she said.
Fresh Cat claims to offer annual replacements in the color of your choice.
"You try to match the decor in your home with a kitten, and then you ship it back like it's a used toy," Amorose said.
The website also offers a catalog of items apparently available for purchase, including kitty press on nails and even a kitten size massage table. It also claims to sell handguns and rifles that display the Fresh Cat logo, and fur coats.
"It's the classic Memphis story, and it's been told hundreds of times, every time another business opens here because of the late drop off time for FedEx," Fresh Cat president John Behnke said in a press release. "Someone can order a kitten as late as 10:30 p.m., and have it at their front door the next morning."ctm.

It was an hour before kickoff Saturday night at Neyland Stadium and Tennessee coach Derek Dooley was out of kickers. Literally.

Naturally, he called Fraternity Row.

"(Michael) Palardy was hurt," Dooley said after the Vols' 24-0 victory against Middle Tennessee State. "He hurt himself Thursday in practice but we thought he'd be fine. He couldn't go. Then (Chip) Rhome goes out there in pregame and he pulls a muscle."

Good thing for Dooley and the Vols, Derrick Brodus wasn't busy.

"We didn't have a kicker," Dooley said. "And we had to make a call to the frat house. This is no lie. We called the frat house and had a policeman go get him."