Bill Clinton Ruins US Soccer Team's Chances at Winning World Cup

Durban, South Africa - Former President Bill Clinton was having the time of his life after the US Soccer Team scored a victory over Algeria, so much so that he decided to stay in town and hang with the fellas until their next match. This could have been what brought the team down, some say.

After the team won the game against Algeria, Clinton showed up in the dressing room with a case of beer and the party didn't wind down until the night before last, when several of the team players showed up for practice with hangovers.

"I knew we were in trouble," said coach Bob Bradley, "when I saw Clinton wheeling a cooler full of beer into the locker room. I told the guys, you can have one, just one, but no one took me seriously. It was me or the former President of the United States calling the shots, and Clinton won."

It was obvious from the way the US team played on Saturday that their coordination was off. "Some of my teammates were hoodwinked by Bill (Clinton)," said player Landon Donovan, the only player to score twice, once in the Algeria game and once in the game against Ghana."

While Clinton claims he stayed in South Africa to watch the team go on to win the World Cup, some are saying that he just wanted to hang out with the team in the hopes of scoring their sloppy seconds after the games--that and the fact that he just couldn't bear the thought of having to go back home so early to Hillary.

If that's the case, then Bill shot himself in the foot by offering to party with the team before such a crucial game. Had he played his cards right and gotten the boys back to camp at a decent hour every night, he'd be out on the town tonight doing some scoring of his own with the US team at his back.

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