Lawyers for Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian will square off in court today and — in technical legal terms — we’re told the judge will force Kris to either s**t or get off the pot.

Lawyers for both sides must tell the judge what they have done to either settle the case or prepare for trial. As TMZ has previously reported … Kris has refused to settle, even though he signed what we’re told is an iron-clad prenup that give him zilch in the 72-day marriage.

What makes things puzzling …. even though Kris won’t settle, he hasn’t prepared for trial. In fact, we know Kris’ lawyers have not even taken Kim’s deposition … this, despite the fact the judge said all depos must be in the can by today’s hearing.

As we previously reported, Kris’ lawyers have said they want to put reality TV on trial, but it’s unclear what their end game is because Kris has no damages. He made hundreds of thousands of bucks off “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” as well as the wedding special, and he signed a $24 million basketball contract — and the notoriety that made him a celeb didn’t hurt the negotiations.

Short story .. it’s almost certain the judge will not screw around with the case by prolonging it. If Kris doesn’t want to walk away with a clean divorce, the judge will almost certainly set the case for trial — whether Kris and his legal team are prepared or not.

Sounds like Kris is about to take an “L” when it comes to his annulment hopes…