Seizing the opportunity that every holiday affords the Twitter user to say whatever is foremost in her mind, Elisabeth proclaimed, “Ever Thankful to be a part of @foxandfriends and @FoxNews Family – where every day is #VeteransDay #ThankYouVeterans #USA.” In other words, I support the veterans and what they have sacrificed for me and the nation, AND I am still in the center seat on the curvy couch, girlfriends–and viewers.

Even the Fox & Friends fan who can barely stomach Elisabeth’s priggish paean to The View by constantly dubbing her co-anchors, Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade, “brothers” (vis-a-vis a more randy approach a la E. D. Hill or Gretchen Carlson) should root for Elisabeth’s speedy recover from the surgery that she had about a month ago. However, they can be forgiven for wondering why Elisabeth has taken her time returning to the vaunted curvy couch. Approximately a month ago (October 15), Steve announced, “In case, you were wondering where Elisabeth is today…she had some surgery yesterday and she’s going to be out for a couple of weeks, and Brian reassuringly remarked, “In a short time, she’ll be back on the set.”

Happy Veterans Day indeed to those who have served this great country and her citizens! And, get well soon, Elisabeth!

Anna Kooiman: “This is so shocking!” Today, Fox & Friends co-hosts Brian Kilmeade and Steve Doocy both committed major fails this morning in ill-conceived jests as to domestic abuse. After a segment on now erstwhile Baltimore Ravens player Ray Rice‘s apparent elevator assault on his then fiancee (vid via TMZ), Brian joked, “I think the message is [to] ‘take the stairs.'”* As Anna chuckled uncomfortably, Steve rejoined, “The message is when you’re in an elevator, there’s a camera.”

Today, normally surefooted Brian and Steve weighed into an area where any angel should fear to tread, i.e., domestic abuse and a cheap laugh. Obviously, assaulting a female is no joke and never should be treated as such. Unfortunately, Brian tried to add some levity after the horrific video and it fell fatefully flat: To make matters worse, Steve weighed in and was mired in the process.

For this longtime viewer of the show (dating back to when whilom F&F co-host E. D. Hill was E. D. Donahey), the aforementioned moment was definitely cringe-inducing. Even though the author assuredly does not believe that either Brian or Steve think that domestic abuse is a laughing matter, they should have known better this morning than to not let their condemnation of it be patently obvious and severe. Unfortunately, in the author’s view, Brian did not help matters by giving NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell virtual absolution for his bone-headed decision to give Ray Rice only a two-game suspension for his alleged assault–by commenting that Goodell had owned up to his “huge mistake” and had increased future penalties for domestic abuse to a six-game suspension for the first offense and a life-time ban for a second offense: Perchance, if Brian were not the FNC sports guy and former Fox News anchor Jane Skinner were not Goodell’s wife, Brian might have been less charitable in his assessment.

Happily, according to the Washington Post, “Fox & Friends will address [the] Ray Rice ‘stairs’ comments on Tuesday’s show.” And they should–because it is the right thing to do. And, for the cynical, if they do not, Fox News critics will use Brian and Steve’s ill-advised remarks to slam them and their network mercilessly henceforth.

[Author’s aside: Re the subtitle, it is guest co-host Anna Kooiman‘s assessment of the alleged assault before Brian and Steve’s errant extemporaneous utterances.]

Fox’s finest foxes have left the building: But, the vixens did it different ways.Fox & Friends Weekend co-host Kiran Chetry was unceremoniously escorted out of the FNC den sans her personal belongings according to NYMag.com whereas whilom F&FW co-anchor Alisyn Camerota was given an “emotional @FoxNews send-off” with her belongings packed by her colleagues. Happily for their respective fans, they both subsequently found a home–at CNN.

As long-time Fox News viewers may well remember, Kiran was a rising star at FNC as co-host of both Fox & Friends Weekend (and Fox & Friends First) in 2006 and she was widely expected by her phalanx of fans to take over for E.D. Hill whenever she left her center seat on the curvy couch: However, FNC Senior VP of Programming Bill Shine dashed her and their hopes when he selected the rather awkward and too oft solipsist Gretchen Carlson for the position on September 22, 2006. Later, in early 2007, Kiran negotiated for a new contract with a high-powered agent who, according to FNC, wanted a term for Kiran to replace Gretchen by a certain date: Conversely, purportedly, she simply wanted a provision that she could escape her contract if she were not awarded that position by a certain date. Consequently, FNC cut off contract negotiations with Kiran in a royal row, and eager CNN’s Prez Jonathan Klein hired the prized journalist that day within an hour of learning of the “extraordinary circumstances.” (According to NYMag.com, a less impressed FNC had the Nepalese lovely escorted out of the building without her personal effects in her office and hubby FNC weatherman Chris Knowles had to “raid her office” to get them–before being “released from his Fox News contract” the very next day.)

Similarly, Kiran’s former FNC colleague, Aly, has been a shining star in the Fox News constellation, deftly doing double duty as the captain of Fox & Friends Weekend and ably subbing for Gretchen on the F&F “A-Team” at the drop of a hat during even the most momentous moments. When Gretchen renegotiated her contract and received her own show, viewers naturally assumed Aly would finally be coronated as F&F weekday queen. Using the same “wisdom” that inanely snubbed Kiran seven years earlier, Shine chose The View‘s discarded damsel Elisabeth Hasselbeck for the role over fan fave Aly: Shortly thereafter, he sent Aly “out to “pasture” with Bill Hemmer for a short while on America’s Newsroom and replaced her on F&FW with his new hire, Anna Kooiman. Subsequently, with Kiran’s purportedly ill-conceived forced exit in mind, FNC and Aly crafted a happier meme: Aly Tweeted a pic of her in her office with her files (with a sweet note that @lauraingle, @JennRiveraTV, and @rickreichmuth had helped her pack) and another of her in the hallway hugging one of many in a gauntlet of FNC colleagues. To any doubting Thomas, she returned to the building to guest on Kilmeade and Friends, telling her fans, “I left on great terms. I love everybody here: I think the feeling is mutual. And, it’s fun to be back in the building.” But, not for long: On Monday, CNN Worldwide Prez Jeff Zucker announced that he had grabbed the “seasoned journalist with a great curiosity and passion for the news…[that]…has a presence on camera…[that]…is very hard to find.”

Who knows? Maybe, Aly and Kiran fans will be treated to a double espresso of the arousing Aphrodites in the morning. When one Twitter follower Tweeted, “You and @kiranchetrytv should team up again. You two were great,” Aly answered, “That would be a blast.”

[Author’s aside: It may be no anomaly that Kiran (CNN’s former American Morning co-host) made her return to the CNN morn Sunday on Reliable Sources as a guest journalist in a segment entitled “Women, TV News, and Attractiveness.”]

Hopefully, CNN Prez Jeff Zucker will put Aly on against Lis in the mornings to jump start his moribund morning show New Day. Of course, Aly will be at a distinct disadvantage having to contend against Shine’s FNC juggernaut trio that also includes F&F Everyman Steve Doocy and Puckish wit Brian Kilmeade. Hopefully, Aly will join a cast including current Early Start co-host, wag John Berman, and another engaging gal or guy during the New Day time period: I.e., if the proverbial CNN stars are aligned propitiously, ND co-anchor Kate Bouldan, Michaela Pereira, and Chris Cuomo will find new places on Ted Turner’s network and Aly can usher in a new dawn to CNN.

Waking up with Heather on the weekend. Leggy Fox & Friends First co-host Heather Nauert seized the F&F Weekend helm for Alisyn Camerota with gusto Sunday. But, instead of flaunting her gorgeous gams a la F&FF, the blond beauty seemed somewhat demure: Dressed in a short black dress and an “M&M” green jacket, Heather hid herself behind her open laptop for the day (as her co-hosts Clayton Morris and Dave Briggs provided her cover as they anomalously kept theirs studiously open as well).

Sexy or not, the girl still ruled the roost almost like a young E.D. Hill. Playing the needed F&FW “alpha bitch,” Heather had her boys going through their paces. Rarely stopping for breath, she was subtly hushing Dave with her hand at one moment and conspicuously instructing Clayton to elaborate at another.

Heather may have performed well today as a substitute with her co-hosts, Clayton and Dave: But, she could learn from Aly, the master, on how to awaken F&FW‘s fans. For FNC weekend viewers who are struggling mightily to escape the embrace of Morpheus, a softer, gentler greeting from a gorgeous gal is preferable to one from a Red-Bull-infused chatty Cathy. To boot, she may want to close the cloaking laptop as a general rule in the future: as Megyn Kelly aptly declared (about her America Live leg-displaying glass desk), “It’s a visual business. People want to see the anchor.”

What a delight: Aly and Juliet were as usual–smart, sexy, and scintillating. But, for the author who still can not quite grasp how Gretchen gained E.D. Hill‘s long-heldthrone over her seemingly more socially adept, less solipsist rivals, Aly and Juliet (not to mention former FNC rising star, Kiran Chetry), their appearances were a bit bittersweet. And, if Brian and Steve’s less contrived conversations and more relaxed demeanor were any indication, they appeared to concur–happy for the moment for the “new” spirits and their Christmas cheer.

Indignant Gretchen: “Geraldo, Gretchen’s been doing this show for about five years. Not E.D [Hill]!” Twice this morning FNC anchor Geraldo Rivera called Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson “E.D.” And, Gretchen was not amused–at being confused with her older, immediate predecessor, i.e., the blond brassy Texas beauty, E.D. Hill (whom the 1989 Miss America unceremoniously replaced as FNC celebrated its tenth anniversary).

When Geraldo concluded his weekly Geraldo at Large promo segment today at a ceremony honoring the returning troops from Afghanistan at Fort Campbell, KY, he somberly noted the year of loss to them and the consequent questions of whether the sacrifices were worth it. As he did, he mistakenly said, “Steve, E.D., and Brian.”* Then, as he began the further question of the troops families, i.e., “Where do we go from here?,” the apparent cackle of Gretchen could be heard. When Geraldo concluded a few moments later, he remarked, “These are very, very important issues, Steve, E.D., and Brian.”

Without so much as acknowledging those “very, very important issues,” Gretchen insouciantly exclaimed, “Geraldo, Gretchen’s been doing this show for about five years: not E.D!” Looking perplexed at her solipsistic response, Geraldo stammered, “What, what’s that about five years?” Laughing heartily, Gretchen waved her hand dismissively and answered, “”It’s okay. I’ll tell you when I see you next week.”

As Gretchen took apparent umbrage at Geraldo’s gaffe, ironically, she made her own. I.e., she forgot the returning troops, their fallen comrades, and their respective families at Fort Campbell. Maybe, a few more fruit baskets should be in order. Posthaste.

From the very start, Spitzer marked his territory as he began his show, briefly introducing Jautz “ensemble” members, E.D. Hill (former long-time FNC anchor) and Will Cain (conservative pundit/blogger) as “two friends of the show [that] will be joining me as regulars in the “Arena.” After giving his Arena friends face time for about ten seconds, Spitzer flied solo until the bottom of the hour as he focused on the Libyan crisis (with interviews of the Libyan deputy ambassador, a CNN Tripoli correspondent, and GPS anchor Fareed Zakaria). Then, after stopping for about five minutes to share his time with Cain for a segment with Tea Party Prez fave, Herman Cane, Spitzer started anew on an twenty-minute marathon on another Mideast crisis, the Iranian problem. Finally, in the last ten minutes, did Spitzer allow the first female of the night, his new beautiful blonde, to have her say–on the partisan Wisconsin budget battle. And, then she had to share her time with the boyish Cain to boot.

In the Arena last night: where Spitzer and the boys had their say. And, finally, a good girl got to play.

Fox News’ Gretchen Carlson loved her red dress today. Apparently, so much so, that she refused to take it off. After donning it for her three-hour early morning show, Fox and Friends, she appeared again with the very same one on for her evening O’Reilly Factor guest appearance.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Obviously, unless, a media personality is the proverbial Queen of England, she will wear the same dress on more than one occasion. However, one might expect her to wait for some time to pass before she does.

To be “fair and balanced,” one could easily envisage her “cheap and proud” F&F co-anchor and weekly O’Reilly guest Steve Doocy not changing clothes after a full day for his evening guest slot. In fact, one could even see her no-nonsense predecessor and erstwhile O’Reilly sub E.D. Hill doing the same thing. On second thought, it might not have been that bad to wear her red dress in the evening, too, but it did seem somewhat strange for a former Miss America.

Former Fox & Friends co-host E.D. Hill may have been too old and controversial for FNC but she will be right at home on ABC’s TheView.* According to the Washington Post, E.D. will be one of the substitute co-hosts for Elisabeth Hasselbeck (on maternity leave) this fall on the all-femme gabfest.** (As an aside, reportedly, another guest co-host will be the equally confident and assertive Meghan McCain.)**

As F&F fans may remember, E.D. was famous for her opinionated soliloquys on F&F. In fact, so much so, that the producers often would air a flying flag vid with accompanying patriotic music to give her the humorous “hush” hint.*** On the View, she will be in her element, where Silent Cal is seen as Satan. This conservative, brassy Texas beauty will be more than able to hold her own against her more lib counterparts, e.g., Joy Behar, Barbara Walters, et al.

Her parents got gored by GM last week, and today Fox & Friends co-anchor Gretchen Carlson was more than ready to return the favor. (GM notified the Carlsons that their GM dealership, Main Motors, in Anouk, Minnesota, would be shuttered.) Introducing the segment with GM spokesperson Susan Docherty, Gretchen claimed, “I have disclosed on this show that my parents’ dealership in Minnesota is being shut down by General Motors: But, this morning the story is not about me or my parents: It’s about capitalism.”

Subsequently, Gretchen turned into a virtual Mike Wallace or, at least, her predecessor E.D. Hill (when crusading). First, she accused GM of being untruthful in its alleged assertions that it would “only terminate under-performing dealerships.” Second, she wondered (citing Rep. Carol Shea-Porter of NH) whether “profitable dealerships are being asked to close their doors because of the mistakes and mismanagement of corporate CEO’s in Detroit. Third, she acerbically commented, “The dealers were still making money…selling your product and…weren’t the ones going to Washington…asking for billions of dollars from the American taxpayers…[and] now it’s very easy to get rid of them…in this structured bankruptcy.” With blood-thirst in her eyes, Gretchen continued to go after Docherty and her employer GM with the vengeance of a mother bear robbed of her cubs.

As readers of Carpe Diem may know, the author believes that Gretchen generally is not best suited for the early morning hours of F&F. However, today was an exception. As Gretch aggressively defended her own with unsheathed daggers in her eyes, this viewer was riveted to the little screen.

Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson got on her soapbox about the car industry bailout again today and on co-host Steve Doocy’s nerves as well. After last week scolding co-anchor Brian Kilmeade on his need to be upbeat on car sales to not deter future auto buyers, the daughter of car dealership owners continued her lesson today to her co-anchor Steve Doocy’s discomfort during a President Obama rescue plan segment.

As she began her discourse, Gretchen criticized the lack of auto industry experience on the President’s oversight group and then groused that GM CEO Rick Wagoner had been forced from his job while bailed-out bank bosses kept theirs. As the story progressed, Steve noted the need for GM’s management and auto workers to come to terms: Seemingly, oblivious to his remarks, Gretchen animatedly asked, “But my question also this morning–got lots of ‘em–where’s the union in all of this? Steve snapped, “Yeah, that’s what I just said!” Then her tireless lecture began anew.

Perhaps, the F&F producers need to resurrect former co-host E.D. Hill’s flag (or a Gretchen symbol). For new F&F viewers, whenever E.D. would go on one of her jingoistic sermons on the virtues of God, country, mom, and apple pie, F&F would play the Star-Spangled Banner with flying fiag footage behind her: Cued, E.D. would redden, smile, and stop, realizing that she was belaboring the obvious to the chagrin of her co-hosts and her audience. For Gretchen, whenever she goes on one of her risible rants, the producers could play “There She Is, Miss America” with a Main Motors sign shown behind her.

Absentee Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson was tutored today by her Fox & Friends fill-in F&F Weekend co-host Alisyn Camerota, who provided much needed relief to this Louisiana lad whose DVR malfunctioned after a stormy night. The saucy Italian dish looked delectable in her tight white top and a short ebon skirt (albeit with noxious nylons) as her mellifluous voice coaxed this churlish chap from his soporific state. She spiced up the too often bland fare that F&F has been serving up as of late.

Even though an attractive Gretch does not quite have Aly’s allure, she would do well to model Aly’s delightful demeanor. Instead of greeting her stirring viewers with grating gripes or cause celebres a la E.D. Hill, she should coax them from their beds with informed, witty, disinterested dialogue coupled with a fun, flirty flair.

In other words, Gretch, don’t grouch: There is a reason that O’Reilly is on in the evening.

E.D. Hill, former FNC fox and author of “I’m Not Your Friend, I’m Your Parent,” announced today that she left Fox News one week ago. In a book interview on Today’s Issues (an American Family Radio program), the erstwhile co-host of Fox & Friends and anchor of Fox News Live and America’s Pulse further revealed that she has resumed her masters degree pursuit. The brassy Texas beauty exhibited no ill will toward her former employer even though her contract was not renewed (after she, seemingly, fell from FNC Programming SVP Bill Shine’s grace after her infamous Barack/Michelle “terrorist fist bump” quip).

The demure and attractive Ainsley Earhardt returned to Fox & Friends’ curvy couch today as guest host and reminded the author of the sine qua non of a successful F&F, an alpha bitch. The sweet Southern belle does not quite fit the bill. E.g., when co-anchor Dave Briggs questioned who was still stirring and who had just awakened, Ainsley replied that she had been working all night and was still awake: no response from Dave. Also, when Ainsley queried who Clayton Morris and Dave had kissed at midnight, they answered but did not inquire the same of her. Nothing big but Alisyn Camerota would not have been so lightly regarded.

An essential element of F&F has been a strong woman who can stand up to the boys and put them in their place. On F&FW, a jaunty Juliet Huddy kept her salty pal Mike Jerrick corralled and third wheel Julian Phillips cowed; luscious lovelies Kiran Chetry and Alisyn Camerota ran the show as Julian watched from the sidelines; and siren Page Hopkins kept her uncertain colleagues Greg Kelly and Kelly Wright on a slow burn. On F&F, cowgirl E.D. Hill held Four-H’r Steve Doocy and city slicker Brian Kilmeade firmly in her riata.

Now Fox & Friends Weekend has returned to its formula for success. F&FW took the reins from a diffident, callow Ainsley and handed them to a confident, veteran Aly. Aly took charge of the show and Clayton and Dave fell in line.

On the other hand, Fox & Friends weekday has not quite regained its moorings since E.D. left. Gretchen seems to try to ape her predecesssor in her diurnal diatribes but receives less deference from her colleagues than did E.D. Steve and Brian are the alpha males, and they know it. However, Gretch is not the alpha bitch, and she knows it. Whether she can grow into the position is yet to be seen.

An odd farewell from and to Alan Colmes, the liberal counterpart to Sean Hannity on FNC’s popular political polemics program, Hannity & Colmes. During the show, Alan mentioned with little fanfare that he had an announcement to make and Sean seemed to treat it rather lightly: However, in the final segment, Alan announced that he would be leaving the show after twelve years to continue his radio program (“Alan Colmes Show”), contribute to FNC, and to, perhaps, do occasional specials for FNC. He and Sean affirmed their on-screen, off-screen long-time friendship and traded pleasantries. And then the usual segue to Greta and it was over.

According to TVDecoder, Alan will leave at the end of the year. Fox News may be slowly learning from its mistakes. Its past pathetic partings to Fox & Friends’ E.D. Hill and F&FW’s Kiran Chetry, Page Hopkins, Kelly Wright, Greg Kelly, and Ainsley Earhardt left a sour taste in its faithful fans’ mouths. Hopefully, when he leaves at the end of the year, they will give him a respectful send-off.

Adieu, Alan. You have proved yourself a vociferous and vigorous adversary to Sean. And you do so without being mean spirited. Bravo!

After over a decade on Fox News, E.D. Hill was shown the door by Bill Shine, FNC’s Senior Vice President of Programming according to TVNewser: E.D. is scheduled to depart in a few months as her contractual term ends. The attractive, opinionated towhead had a highly successful seven-year stint as co-host of FNC’s morning news show, Fox & Friends. Further, she served as anchor of America’s Pulse and guest host of the O’Reilly Factor.

However, E.D. recently has had a rough road of late. First, on September, 22, 2006, with little apparent warning, FNC celebrated its 10th anniversary by replacing her with a younger blonde, namely, Gretchen Carlson, a former Miss America. E.D. was moved to a later FNC morning news program for a short time before she found a home at FNC’s America’s Pulse in the afternoon. There she made her infamous “terrorist fist jab” gaffe and found her show canned ten days later.

The resilient, brassy Texan beauty will no doubt land on her feet. Maybe, she could join her fellow flaxen-tressed FNC exiles, Page Hopkins and Laurie Dhue, in an edgy morning news show or, perhaps, an all-blonde Red Eye for the Straight Guy.

Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson seems to be upping her game lately. She appears better prepared, more self-confident, and increasingly assertive a la her immediate predecessor E.D. Hill. E.g., today Gretch was shown aggressively interviewing Senator Hillary Clinton on the Democrat’s share of responsibility for the current economic crisis. Whether one agrees with the merits of Gretchen’s questioning or not, one would be hard pressed to argue that she lobbed softballs or was cowed by the former First Lady.

However, Gretch, if you are following the E.D. model, please try to refrain from aping her occasional F&F solipsist soliloquies. Remember the flag footage and patriotic music that the crew used to abash her with when she would go on an overly enthusiastic chauvinistic rant? F&F’s audience wants to be educated and entertained not to be pedagogued.

Carpe Diem reader Boogiewoogee took issue sharply with the author as to this blog’s treatment of Gretchen Carlson in the comments to “Debate Team.” He/she wrote, “What’s your problem with Gretchen. Seriously.” (Cf. https://jakeho.wordpress.com/2008/09/27/debate-team for his/her full comment.)

Gretchen is an attractive, intelligent, and capable woman. The current Fox & Friends co-host was apparently engaging enough as co-anchor of the CBS Saturday Early Show for FNC to choose her to replace E.D. Hill. Gretchen seems to be making a sincere effort to fit in with the Fox & Friends fold.

However, in this author’s view, Gretchen has yet to irradicate herself fully from the mindset of CBS and the rest of the dinosaur news media. The former anchor of the “CBS Saturday Early Show” seems to still be adjusting to FNC’s less scripted, less self-absorbed, and less reverential approach to the news. This former Miss America appears uncomfortable in engaging in unfettered give-and-take with her co-hosts Steve Doocy, Brian Kilmeade, and guests. Moreover, she seems to be a bit slow on the uptake and to need to be assured constantly in her views.

Let’s hope that Gretchen can fully make the transition. In the meantime and beyond, the F&F suits could bring in some eye candy as headline news reader to ease the process. If not, the viewer will always have Alisyn Camerota as occasional fill-in host unless the savvy F&F suits lose her a la Kiran Chetry.