Muscle Tension

Muscle tension. Anybody out there experience this as a symptom? Man, I have a lot of it. I work on the computer and draw for a living and I can literally feel my forearms and hands tighten up and cramp. I can watch my left arm as the symptom starts, I will get twitches in my arm that radiate up through my hand where I can watch my index finger jump. As I draw the tightness can be so bad that I will get involuntary movement in my arm and hand. I almost expect it now and it has made me avoid drawing sometimes. I was trying to take photographs the other day (which is also part of my job) and I felt so tense, that I shook when I took the picture. I actually started sweating from the effort it took to try and stop myself from shaking. When I exercise, I tend to have the "ratchety" muscle shaking as I try to hold poses or lift weight. I have had this as long as I can remember, and I am assuming it is oxygen deprivation due to the TMS symptoms.

I am also wondering if it makes sense to do as others have on this forum and "lean into" the pain. In other words, when someone feels pain in their leg or knee, they go running. When I feel pain or tightness or cramping in my hands and arms does it make sense to draw even more in order to "reprogram" myself that it is just ischemia?

Years ago, when I was attempting massage therapy for my headaches (and I went through numerous therapists to no avail), every single one of them told me I was all tied up in knots. They couldn't believe how tense I was. It has become so chronic that I have such sore spots on many muscles on my upper back, especially my trapezius muscles, and on my neck. I can press on this one spot on my neck and the feel the pain radiate to behind my eye...where it really hurts when my headache is at its worst. About 5 years ago, I found Trigger Point Therapy. It is different from traditional therapeutic massage. It seemed to be the only thing that helped for a while, but then I realized it was more my mid-life crisis that was distracting me from the pain. Once I got past that, the headaches were back with a vengeance and have been severe for the past couple of years. I tried the Trigger Point Therapy again, but didn't respond to it. That's when I began to really see that there must be some emotional component preventing me from healing. I started a regular yoga/meditation practice a little over a year ago and then found Dr. Sarno in February.

I still have lots of pain, and it seems to have spread (TMS on the run), but I continue to do all of the things I normally do in spite of it, so I guess I do believe in "leaning into" the pain. In fact, I even painted our utility room the other day all by myself! I paid for it for the next couple of days, but I don't care. I am not going to let TMS rob me of the rest of my life!

I have never seen a TMS MD, Shanshu. There are none close to me. And yes, as I read Dr. Sarno's books about the "tender points" that are used in the diagnostics, I was certain that I had them. I even had my husband press on those six points for me.

Unfortunately, TMS is stubborn and not wanting to let go. Since I have found TMS and firmly believe it is the cause of my headaches, neck, jaw, shoulder, arm, and leg pain, my brain has thrown in a couple of other pains to trip me up and I think it is these things that are blocking my progress. I started having weird tingling and slight pain in my mouth by my teeth, where two dentists have ruled out dental problems, and then abdominal pain that my doctor can't explain. It's hard to focus on the TMS being the cause of ALL of my pain, when I have doubts about whether that is true. The abdominal pain was so severe last Monday, ironically (or maybe not so ironically) after a particularly stressful incident with my mother (one of my triggers). I nearly went to Urgent Care because of it.