So let’s spend our five minutes of writing today, sharing about friendship. Fight it, love it, hate it, hurt or healed by it, we were certainly built for it.

Set a timer and just write. Don’t worry about making it just right or not.

Go all in with your words.

Are you ready?

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.3. Please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments.

OK, are you ready? Give me your best five minutes on:

::

Friend…

:

GO:

There is a macktruck size hole in my heart.

I tell this to God undercover of the worship. As I squeeze my eyelids tight together, determined not to let any stray drops fall. I’m 38 and I still have a mommy-sized hole in my heart. When will it be filled, I ask Him? Because who can fill you like a mom can? Who else on earth has the sole job of loving you first. Of coming when you hurt? Of pouring into you? Of being interested in the ins and outs of your everyday life?

Who else cares that your daughter has figured out how to use the “to be” verb correctly.

Who else cares that your kitchen has fruit flies and you can’t figure out how to kill them? Who else wants to know the blow by blow of how you finally figured out how to get just the right amount of curl into your hair.

Who else has the job of calling of caring of keeping track of dates and memories and who else holds your beginning in their hands?

How is it possible to hurt this bad for something I haven’t had for so long?

This woman who gave me her name and her heart and her flair for the dramatic? How is it possible to miss her so bad I can hardly breathe in a small chapel in Nebraska?

Maybe it’s having a daughter, coming for a daughter, loving a daughter, wiping the damp hair off a daughter’s forehead that has me missing being her daughter so much.

I feel this hole and then I feel a hand on my back.

A soft hand. A tender hand. And I squeeze my eyelids tighter. It’s hard to breathe. Because afterwards I know she will tell me something. And she does. She tells me that while I’m not crying over macksized truck holes, He’s whispering to her, “tell her the words, ‘filled up and running over.'”

And then my eyes are and my heart is and all I can do is nod and rest my head on her shoulder.

Friend.

STOP

Photos with thanks to Laura and Erin and the Walk Agape girls who make photos better just by being in them.

You are living your dream of encouraging moms. You help us know that our dreams as momsn (and friends) matter. You encourage me, again and again, and I don’t tell you enough. But here’s the truth: You matter to God, and you matter to people. (And you matter to ME!) xo

Yet another reminder of how we can be the hands of Jesus, extending grace, compassion to those around us. Blessed by your post today, Lisa-Jo. Thank you for sharing this community with all of us. May we learn to be those kind of friends whose simple embrace says it all…

Lisa-Jo, you’re so brave. Your macktruck sized hole truly is filled up and running over. You are a wounded healer and tomorrow 5000+ women will be touched and healed by your wound and the love you let pour out of it. Bless you. (And about the fruit flies, give them a bubble bath . . a little bit of apple cider vinegar, a few squirts of dish soap, and enough water to make it bubble up) XO

Beautiful. I can relate a bit. Unfortunately to the mothering without a mother. And praise Jesus, also to friends speaking words of comfort from the Father that I needed to hear. Thank you for sharing!

Kim A.
on April 26, 2013 at 7:59 am

Wow, that just tore me up (in a good way). Isn’t that one of the qualities we want in a friend – someone who will hear God’s prompting and follow it? I love this!

Lisa Jo,
I was talking to someone last night about a time when I stood up for my children and mostly our converstaion was intwined with the struggle of insecurity. When I was done with my story she said, I heard a confidence in there when you were talking about your children. And I thought you know she is right when its comes to knowing my kids, i know them and I am their biggest cheer leader. And then I said, “maybe I just need to be a mom to myself” And it was so freeing to have that idea. Your writing today reminded me of this. If no one cares like a mom would care then, you just have to be a mom to yourself. For me, this thought has lifted a burden from me.
I am so glad you have a friend to care and you know The Father cares :)
So blessed by your writing Lisa jo, So blessed!

Im so glad you posted this on your timeline… I read it and then came to see if you posted it on your blog, and to see what the five minute free writing thing was all about. I wrote the raw, like you did today, and linked up to you for the first time. Thanks for inviting me to dig deep with your own hard writing today. You were brave and you inspired me to have courage too. *HUG*

He blesses when we let Him lead and bravely obey. And His presence is so full in the vulnerability of true friendship. You, my dear, are that kind of Jesus friend. I love you dearly.

Glenda
on April 26, 2013 at 2:49 pm

Beautiful post. It hit close to home. I lost my mom in 2004. I can’t believe it’s going on 9 yrs in August. That hole that no one can fill. To love is to grieve. I have my daughter. She is a constant in my life. She is that “friend” to me.

Sometimes, a friend at the right moment is all that’s needed before our heart truly breaks. They are the glue that could keep us from falling apart. How very lucky you are to have a friend like that. …smiles…

Karin
on April 26, 2013 at 5:50 pm

I didn’t make it past, “I still have a mommy-sized hole in my heart.” Thank you for sharing. I’ve wrestled with this all day. You brought some comfort into that pain for me. The one thing I value most about a friend is honesty. Your writing was soaked in it.

Fruit flies infuriate me! Things I’ve learned: Put a cup on your counter (I use plastic clear ones), fill with 1 in to 1.5 inch with apple cider vinegar, cover it with saran wrap and secure with a rubber-band, poke holes in the top with a knife (5 or 6 should be good..not too big or too small). Set on your kitchen counter and let the magic happen (I clean out and re-fill weekly) If you have them as bad as I did I put several of these cups all over the house to get the situation under control. Make sure you clean your kitchen drains and take out trash regularly because that is where they like to lay eggs. Also, swat them and kill them like a crazy person. It helps relief stress. :) I’m very sorry about your mom. Sometimes I feel that sort of grief and lack of relationship and she’s alive. I’m sure it doesn’t compare in the slightest. You’re a great mom and I really enjoy your blog. It’s my encouragement (Jesus uses you!) at the end of a hard day when I’m so irritated over nothing and I love my daughter so much it hurts.

What a joy to meet you face-to-face in Nebraska and look into those beautiful blue eyes of yours. And what a gift to see up close how much you care about the women God has brought into your life. God is right to trust you with this call, Lisa Jo. I can see the fire he has ignited in your heart to encourage others. That is a true gifting. A God-dream for sure.