Something Has Traveled Faster Than The Speed Of Light

Scientists at an Italian particle research center and CERN in Geneva, Switzerland have achieved what a century of science could not: pwning Albert Einstein. Over a period of three years, researchers have been firing 15,000 neutrino beams over a distance of 500 miles, only to discover that the minuscule particles have made the trip about 60 nanoseconds sooner than light.

That's right. Something has officially traveled faster than the speed of light. Sure, 60 nanoseconds might seem like nothing, but we're talking about what most have believed to be physically impossible, on par with the Cubs winning the World Series and Snookie not being orange.

For right now, everyone is afraid to speculate on what it might mean for the future of science if this data is correct. Might we now also realize such lofty goals as time travel or shooting across the galaxy in our private luxury spaceships? Of course, there's a big difference between a few neutrinos and a human being, but it goes to show that we should never stop wondering. We should never consider even such fundamental questions as this answered. As our technology advances, so too does human discovery.

Rest assured, there will be scads of scientists scouring this data for quite sometime to make sure it's all in order. If it is, textbooks will have to be rewritten. Lesson plans will have to be updated. The foundations of physics as we know it will have to go through a major overhaul. If it's not, the guy who accidentally put the decimal point in the wrong place is really going to hear about it.