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Re: Letting go...

It will get easier over time. I had to stop nursing my first daughter at 10 months due to surgery when the doctor told me I needed to stop. Those first few times I had to hold her and give her a bottle I just kept crying because I was so sad to not be able to connect with her that way. (we were only nursing in the mornings at that point dt full time work and supply issues.) Now she is a happy healthy 4 year old and there are so many other special things that we do together. She knows that her mommy gave her milk and she knows that now her sister gets it, I think just having children see there siblings nurse too lets them know how much you care about them and give them the very best food there is. AS THE previous poster said it is definately okay to be sad and good to talk about your feelings. HUGS

Re: Letting go...

Originally Posted by @llli*jenniebean5

I think it's o.k. to be sad about your nursing relationship with him ending, just as it's going to be sad when he goes to kindergarten, wants to play more with his friends, starts going to sleep overs, etc. All those steps of independence are hard for moms. It's bittersweet. So talk about it, be sad about it, but remember that nursing didn't/doesn't define your relationship with him as mother and son. You do/have done so much more for him in addition to nurse him. And you will continue to. Try to concentrate on the things you do with him that he enjoys, and find happiness in his happiness.

Ds1 weaned himself when I was pg. I fully expected him to nurse again once the baby arrived. He didn't even ask, I resisted the urge to offer, there were times when I would think how much easier it would be to just nurse. When the "baby" was 1 1/2, ds1 started preschool. He came home after the first day and asked to nurse. It had been 2 years since he was an active everyday nurser, but I sensed this was important to him so I let him nurse. It lasted maybe a minute or two. During the first month or two of school I think he nursed 2 more times. He has not shown any interest in nursing since then. "I" think he was needing reassurance during this time of transition and that is how he got it.

Re: Letting go...

Thanks LLLadies I really needed your words. Some days I feel like a failure because we say AAP/WHO recommends nursing 2 years and beyond. I didn't make it to 2 years. And I feel bad that Daniel didn't get that.

Re: Letting go...

Re: Letting go...

Lyn,
Although it must be difficult to deal with, please remember that you are a wonderful wonderful mother, and have given D so much of yourself. You have always been a role model for me. There are so many ways to show affection other than nursing. I remember you saying that D shows it so many different ways now, and that beautiful picture of him kissing you in the hospital . I am jealous of that! I dream of the day Joshua comes up to me and kisses or hugs me. Joshua might still nurse, however, he is very stingy with the kisses and snuggles. I would love for him to show affection that way, because I am a very snuggly person. I am hoping that when he weans, I will start to get those extra kisses and hugs. I am actually looking forward to that!
If you are looking at it from a nutritional standpoint, you are one of the healthiest mammas out there! He gets all those nutrient packed smoothies, and homecooked goodness! Also, you could use expressed milk to add to things...
Just wanted to remind you of all those positive things when you are feeling down. You are an amazing Mommy, and all that self-less giving will pay off. You can already see Daniel is such a happy loving little guy

Kathryn, Mama to my sweet blueberry eyed boy Joshuaborn on 11/2/2006

and my blueberry eyed baby Jonah Henry...my water birth baby! born on 6/15/09

Re: Letting go...

Originally Posted by @llli*mollyb

I do think you are too hard on yourself about thinking that you are a weak or insufficient mother.

You are a wonderful mother whether D is actively nursing or not! I'm sorry you are feeling down about it, though, and I wish I had some better advice for you. Just try to focus on the bonding and cuddle time that you DO get with him and cherish that.

“We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
--Anonymous

Re: Letting go...

Lyn,

I am so sorry that you are having these feelings. You are an amazing mother and woman! You have given both your children such wonderful starts to their lives and continue to strive to keep that going for them. D is such a happy, tender, loving boy and that is because of your relationship with him, not just your nursing relationship. Yes, nursing does help alleviate some of the issues that arise with a high-needs child, but you have developed so many other ways to difuse situations along the way!

I wish I could take the pain away, but please don't doubt your abilities, you are doing such an awesome job! I know many women on here look to you for your wise words and experiences to help them through, you are an inspiration to all of us! D may or may not come back to your nursing relationship but remember you will always have that special bond with him, you are his mother!

Lots of

Kelly

Mommy to Gabriel born 12/25/06 Breastfed 12/25/06 - 12/09 and possibly here and there still
Madelyn born 9/24/09 delivered at home and caught by my husband "To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right."