And to finish off the year, here's the traditional same old meme that we old school online journallers pass around like it's an STD! Because it wouldn't be the end of the year without it!

1. What did you do in 2012 that you'd never done before?

* Rented a "real" rental car (i.e. not by the hour) for the first time.* Drove to Redding with a friend.* Saw a total solar eclipse and uh...Venus passing over the sun, I think? Anyway, yay astronomy.* Drove to the nearest towns and city nearest to me, ALONE.* Damaged a Zipcar.* Borrowed a friend's car for weeks at a time, trying out the "owning a car" lifestyle.* Paid for a hotel room by myself with a real live credit card. * Did some temporary jobs at work, then started a new job.* Went to Massachusetts, Maryland, West Virginia, and Washington D.C. for the first time (was briefly in Pennsylvania in the 90's). * Got a guitar and started learning it via the Internet.

2. Did you keep your new yearís resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

* Get a car. Nope. I still pretty much have no credit, can't get help from Mom on this (or at least shouldn't get what she'd offer), don't really have a clue about car stuff, found a car expert but got told that I'd have to decide ASAP if he found one and I'm not okay with that, my research on how to buy a car scared the shit out of me...etc. I am just stumped, scared, and clueless on that prospect, Short of a helpful fairy coming along, I don't think I can do this alone. * Get used to driving and navigating on the freeway alone and getting myself to other towns on time: YES, actually doing a darned good job of that.* Get a new job: Surprise, actually technically did that one. Wasn't expecting to, though.* Move. Nope.

So, 50/50. That's better than I expected this to come out!

This year's goals: well, I am NOT going to delude myself on this moving thing again officially. I'm more likely to have a damn unicorn move into the house or something nuts like that than actually get off my ass and move by the end of 2013.

I think I need to work on fixing my finances so I could afford to get a car at some point. Start incredibly fucking slow so that oh...when I'm 40...maybe... I dunno. Something.

Theoretically--and I do mean theoretically--I would like to go to LA in May. There's reasons for the timing of that, but I don't want to get into that now. Supposedly this is going to happen, but I don't believe it until the money's put down. And given the timing (which would be right after Busy Season/Mom's birthday/Mother's Day to boot), that especially makes me think that going then is unlikely. But it's something that Jess, Mom, and the shrink are all like, "You are going" about, so.... well, I'll mention it here anyway.

And I want to get back to learning the guitar again. I got out of the habit after coming back from vacation, and I need to get back into it. I'd LIKE to actually go get lessons from a human sometime. I was planning to in the fall, but the lessons I wanted to go to overlapped with other things, and apparently that guy doesn't teach in winter? Grrrr. Well...there's always justinguitar.com. Learned three chords off that guy.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Not yet.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No,

5. What countries did you visit?

None.

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?

A goal, a plan, a car, a point to my life.

7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

August 1, started new job.December 25: Best Christmas since 1996!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

The new job, I think.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not getting a car and not moving. Basically realizing I'll never do anything.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Nope.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My guitar, I think.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My coworkers, and my shrink's, and certain friends, and my back East relatives.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

I wouldn't go with "appalled and depressed" so much as "eye-rollingly annoyed," but my aunt isn't winning any prizes this year.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Same stuff, books, jewelry, yarn, craft items. With the relatively new addition of Zipcar rentals.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Going to various awesome shows throughout the year, succeeding in driving trips, hanging out with relatives who actually like me.

16. What song will always remind you of 2012?

"Call Me Maybe," duh!

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:(a) happier or sadder? Fuck if I know on this question. Same, I guess.(b) thinner or fatter? Same.(c) richer or poorer? Same, I just feel poorer though.

"Weíre all in the belly of the beast right now at the end of 2012. I think most of us had hoped that a year of determination would make our paths clear for 2013. Maybe for some The World card has been drawn and all is clear now and itís just a matter of putting your shoulder to the wheel and pushing out your sticky baby thatís already crowned. If thatís you, you canít stop now no matter how much you may want to. No one can walk around with a baby half birthed. Giving up isnít an option anymore, you need to see the birth through.

For those who are like me, in your perpetual fourth month of pregnancy where giving up frankly still is an option and you feel miserable and unsure about your new future and ďmotherhoodĒ is a murky future where the cards arenít even worth drawing because itís all Wheel of Fortune anyway. Itís hard to keep the steel in your shoulder, the glimmer of determination in your eyes and a battle cry in your throat. This isnít The Hunger Games where you know youíll win or die within three weeks no matter what. Itís easy to get distracted by The Intertubes, television, shopping, petty daily dramas, your day job and everything else that goes with being a human living in the First World. Itís what the real Big Brother wants for you Ė to be distracted, to not be engaged in your passions, your dreams, your aspirations. These distractions keep you from being in touch with your art, your vision and your star player. Are you going to whine about the same petty excuses you always whine about when making your art a reality gets hard or are you going to keep pushing?"