The Dos and Don'ts of Texting Your Crush

Back in pioneer days, flirting with someone took time. You'd write the object of your affection a letter, strap it to a horse, and mail that horse to the Pony Express (it may have worked differently, but we don't have time to Google it right now). Then you had weeks to allow your feelings to blossom or fester, and by the time your Beloved's response finally reached you, you'd be overflowing with ideas and sentiments that you couldn't wait to share. Plus, the ever-present threat of death by yellow fever made everything seem so much more romantic.

Welp, it's now 2013, all the horses are robots, and your notes travel to space and back in, like, three milliseconds—so you'd better know what you're doing when you send that text to Handsome Christopher from Quidditch Club. Check out the dos and don'ts of texting your crush below, and remember, no matter how badly things go, at least you don't have yellow fever. Hopefully.

DON'T Use more than one "!" in a text. Unless you just won the lottery, in which case you shouldn't use any exclamation points because YOU JUST WON THE LOTTERY AND SHOULD BE BUSY BUYING A PANDA FAMILY AND A SLIDE.

DO Tack on a "haha" when you blurt out your undying love, because then you can always be like "jkjk" if it gets all awkward.