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A life & style blog written by Bash Harry, a 21 year old perfectionist with little to say but much to do. Let's talk beauty, fashion and intersectional feminism.

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Ugly Days, Pretty Days & Pretty Ugly Days

Tuesday, 26 May 2015

I'm not ugly, I'm not pretty either. I look fine most days. Most people do. We're absolutely fine on the sliding scale of beauty. When I look in the mirror, my mind floods with reckless thoughts. Some days, I'm the prettiest girl in the world. Other days, I'm a hideous troll. Most days, I just make stupid faces to make myself laugh.

Yet I become a little more insecure with each passing day. I notice spots that shouldn't be there, darker circles from sleepless nights, fat where there wasn't. I use to think I looked alright. Beautiful, even.

So what happened?

Perhaps it was an accumulation of stress, nerves and pent-up anger.

Heavy rocks crushed my stomach and a dying scream never left in my throat. Exam Week had just started but I was already feeling its painful effects. A few tears, lack of sleep, and festering frustration that couldn't disappear.

Because of that, my mind drifted and I ached. I looked at myself sometimes, and wondered why I ever thought I was even beautiful. The worst thing is, I knew exactly what was causing it. I was having an Ugly Day. (Ugly Week to be more accurate)

An Ugly Day is a day when there's nothing wrong with you at all but your mind says otherwise. Everyone has those days. You can't help but feel a little insecure, especially when you're comparing yourself to someone. It's human nature. If you don't, you are a robot without emotions bent on taking over the world.

I hate Ugly Days. I wake up groggy and grumpy, look in the mirror and grimace. My skin is sick and pale, my eyes are dull with deep circles, and my face is both gaunt and chubby. I am annoyed, irritated and everything is just wrong. I hate days like these because it leaves us feeling gross and dirty.

So after a hellish first week, I needed to feel pretty again. So I did what anyone would do. I slapped on thick makeup and danced to Pour Some Sugar On Me with a comb as a microphone. And took photos.

And it worked, I felt pretty. Pretty silly, pretty stupid but still pretty.

The miracle could be due to many things. Seeing myself awkwardly dance like a GIF on repeat in the mirror. The total confidence boost from putting on makeup. The realization that this ugliness would go away eventually.

So I vie for the Pretty Days. I wake up happy and fresh, look in the mirror and smile. I've got clear skin, my eyes are big and bright, and my cheekbones are chiseled. I can go to school, enjoy myself and not have a single care in the world. I don't want to be anyone but myself.

My apologies if this was melodramatic, but I tend to be. This is one of the more personal posts I've done so far. It's been some time since I felt Unpretty for this long. It usually stays for a day or two, not a whole month. This was an anecdote I needed to let out.

So what are your thoughts on Ugly Days, Pretty Days and those Pretty Ugly Days? What do you do on those bad Ugly Days, and how do you get over them?

107 comments

I went through this for months! The winter destroyed my skin and it was perma-flaky and even though my skin was clear, I couldn't apply any make-up on my face (even the minimal amount that I do), and it really got to me. I looked fine, but I didn't feel fine. We all have our "ugly days", but let me tell you, you are gorg! xx

I've got the same problem when having Bad Hair Days! But it's ok and it's ok to feel ugly (even if you don't, lovely Bash!!!). People need to go through some "hard" / ugly times to appreciate the happy / beautiful side of life even more! It belongs to the flow of life... I guess! And let me tell you, if you're getting older the Ugly Days would bother you less and less! ;-* Stay the way you're, beautiful Bash!

Lovely post, we all have those days! During exam time especially, I feel so 'trampy' half the time!! It's lovely to see the way you've remembered how important it is to embrace your beauty, you look stunning! x

I go back and forth since having my baby. Some days I'm proud of my new body for what it accomplished and made, and other days I just feel blah. You just have to love you- and singing into a comb microphone ever hurts!Hannahhttp://www.notmycircusblog.com/

I love this post! On my ugly days, I like to do a lot of skincare and other stuff, such as face masks, tweeze my brows, moisturize my dry skin etc. I actually stay far away from makeup because I'm usually feeling very uninspired :)

First of all, I LOVE THIS POST!!! I think everyone should read this. I go through this all the time and I think we sometimes over analyze little things and our negative thoughts get the better of us. I love this and I think you are absolutely stunning!

I guess every girl feels that way sometimes, also the prettiest women in the world. Nobody is perfect, we should just accept & embrace how we look and who we are. But sometimes that's easier said than done (;And btw I think you're really beautiful!Nati xxwww.simplyartdicted.com

Your lipstick is so gorgeous! Which one are you wearing? Also when I have pretty ugly days I would wear my shades and put on the reddest lipstick I can find. Works every time :) xo~ Lenawww.felinecreatures.com

What a lovely post, Bash. Sometimes I wish I can push myself to stay in those pretty days just for that bit longer, but I seem to be stuck on ugly days most of the time (more like all the time, really). It's frustrating, but with words like these, I think I'll be making it there sooner.

I'd just like to let you know that you're absolutely beautiful, and while you may feel less than that -- and that's perfectly normal -- just know that a comb, a kickass oldie and your makeup collection is right there to bring you all the way back to the summit. Stay gorgeous, and good luck for the rest of your exams. <3

We all have days like this and I love your write-up here. On my pretty ugly days I put on make-up, my best dress and talk to myself. I also find the working out helps, it just gives a confidence boost from having control over something.Princess Audu

I love this post. It's so true in so many ways. I've had a lot of "ugly days" this past school year, due to an acne breakout that is just now (hopefully, fingers crossed) starting to clear up. It has its bad days and its worse days (no good ones), and only on that days where I put on makeup do I feel like my old clear-skinned self again. At least I can do that. We all have our days, but they live only within ourselves and we must learn to step out of them and experience something else. I don't know what. Just something else.

Ugly days suck, but I just think to myself 'Y'know what? This face is yours, nobody else has it, nobody else is YOU, and you are fab.' Even if there are things I dislike about myself, I just live with them. Maybe now I've almost finished university, I'll do something about the figure side of things, exercise a little, but apart from that, I'm just gonna deal with who I am, seeing as I am the only one living in this body, in this face!

What a lovely post: persona and with an amazing message :) I think accepting that Ugly days are going to happen is the most important thing and then knowing what to do to cheer yourself up. Dancing around to your fav music is probs the quickest cure for most of us! I also think it's important, as women, to track our cycles so that if we're having regular ugly days every month, it isn't to do with PMS x

Very nicely written and I guess you're right, we all have our ugly days and even though nothing about our appearance has changed, it still feels like it. I hate those days because no matter what I do, I won't like my face that day, not even makeup helps.

And hey it if makes you feel any better, you're a total babe and you look absolutely gorgeous

I feel like I'm going through this right now. I have exams coming up next week and now I'm trying to study study study. I have no time to worry about my hair or makeup during exams, just looking forward to them being over. Love your makeup in these photos by the way!

I generally don't consider myself as an ugly girl, but I have a lot of ugly days, where I hate everything of my self, like my hair, my makeup, my style, and I don't know why but to get over them I like going to the gym, it makes me feel really confident and beautiful!

I am the same way, the days where you feel ugly it is the worst. I hate looking at myself and I am not in a good mood for the rest of the day. But the days where I feel good about myself I am so happy. It is crazy what plays through your mind from one day to the next. You loo so flawless in these photos x

This is such a wonderful post - I completely agree with what you say and I think everyone has those moments of feeling disconnected from their own appearance - wondering what happened to the face they had or the beautiful days when you feel so comfortable in your skin. Sophie xxwww.fashionnomads.com

This is something that happens to everyone, of course we have bad days, I have bad makeup days, hair days, clothes day, haha. But, little things like flaws gives us character, sometimes when I rush to do my makeup and not feel at my best, it's the days when someone unexpected give me compliments--go figure. You're gorgeous, embrace the good days, bad, and flaws! <3Style Delights & Updates

Recently I have started as a guest designer for a famous bag brand and my first design of a belt bag is out! <3 I would love to hear what you think about it! :)Hope to see you soon on my blogwww.beneaththecoat.comBloglovinFacebook :)

I suffered Ugly Days for months during winter. My skin went completely nuts due to climate change and it took months for it to calm back down. It was absolutely horrid. You don't have to worry your pretty head about your looks because girl, you are gorgeous!

beautiful post! your makeup looks lovely in these photos :) I think it's normal in self perception to pendulum swing from one end of acceptance to criticism from time to time, as along as the overall feeling is self approval

You are stunning!! Very few bloggers would even post up close photos of their face which means you've got a gorgeous profile. Don't let ugly days get you down, I'm sure every women out there have one of those days, I usually focus on the positive, like "where is my next cup of coffee?" or "screw this, I'm eating this donut" when I have one of those days :)

Exams make me doubt everything :P I think it's a feat of itself that you're aware of when you're having an Ugly Day, that it's not you, but just a perception :) You're beautiful and killin' it! -Audrey | Brunch at Audrey's

Beautiful pictures, you are beautiful! I have my ugly days, although lately it feels like everyday! I look back at old photos and laugh at myself for being so critical about my looks when really I looked pretty good the whole time! x

hi lovely, os many beautiful pictures, you look stunning and we all have ugly days my trick is too put some bright lip color and it makes everything better.Have a beautiful day beautiful Girl.xGlamoury Armory Blog

This made for a fascinating read, you write so well! I think everyone has 'Ugly Days' but I've found over time the best solution is to brush it off, laugh and if all else fails, do the same as you and put on loads of makeup and have fun! :)

I think we need to feel and appreciate all these emotions in order to be human. I can't imagine waking up everyday and always feeling good. I guess there has to be some days that aren't so good, to then make you appreciate the good :)

I totally know what you mean, this is a beautiful post :) The most important part about this is feeling good about ourselves and keep our heads up no matter what. I've been having some ugly months lately actually, but we have to make the best of it and look for the good things too :)

They are so days I honestly feel ugly and it does't help that I'm forever single lol. I normally start to feel like that when I'm PMSing though so I try to keep that as a factor lol. You look beautiful and I can' imagine you ever feel ugly.

What a great post, I'm sorry to hear your ugly days, you are beautiful you not need that day. I suffered ugly days last day, I felt everything wrong and I felt insecure with man. But my friend said nothing wrong with me. It's very a bad day and I didn't want it happen again!

I can definitely relate to the ugly days. There are times when I wake up not feeling or looking like myself. It's a tough funk to get out of, especially when my attitude starts overshadowing my feelings and looks. For instance, I spent the last few days at work with a short temper. All my co-workers noticed and it was hard to get over. I think just getting out and doing something out of the ordinary helps me find myself again. It helps me realize that there's more to life than getting annoyed by things I can't control.

I think you look beautiful. Many people go through ugly days; myself included. I just put on an outfit that makes me feel wonderful and sometimes a little bit of make-up to make myself feel a tad better. It is so great that you shared this with your readers.

Oh my gosh Bash. You are gorgeous! This is true, and I think so. Your haircut looks really nice on you and you always have such great lipstick and outfits. You should put up a sign over your mirror that says "The person in this mirror is beautiful" and then read it out loud to yourself every day:)

I can completly relate with your ugly/pretty days, because I have the same, I think that most of us, girls have days such like these ones. What about you I totally understand you, I'm sure that your exams are very stressful to you, I remember that on my exam's sessions, when I also had Ugly Days I tried to look the best - feminine with great makeup and I think that it worked, because when I fell more self confident I also fell less stressful.

Aww babe what a wonderful post! I usually get those ugly days when I haven't put on makeup for like the longest time and have been pulling an allnighter. But honestly, you are so gorgeous! Loving this post and all of your photos so much!

So glad that I found your blog beautiful! Would you like to check out mine and perhaps we could follow each other on GFC and/or other social media and keep in touch? :)

I freaking love this post. It's so true that all the stress from exams clings to every ounce of your being. Safe to say I've felt miserable about myself for weeks, but now my exams are over I feel lighter, almost, and so much more content in myself. Keep your chin up you beautiful human being, you're going to be fine. No, not just fine, you'll be awesome. x

Aw bless you, Bash. You look so pretty, I don't know what you're worrying about! But I know exactly what you mean. Ugly days are awful. I've been through ugly weeks and months too, and I tend to just wait for the storm to pass and the sun to come out again, I don't really have a system to beat it but I try not to worry because, eventually, I know I'll look in the mirror and think I'm pretty again :)

I love this post, I can relate to it so much! Self-love is so important and it's amazing how much feeling good about yourself can improve your day and brighten up almost anything and how conversely feeling low about yourself can bring a dark cloud over everything, making life seem dull and pointless. I think you look beautiful in those pictures! xElectra Violet ||

I went through this for months when my depression hit me! :( To be honest, I still feel ugly even though my depression left me for awhile. I guess it's because of a few zits on my face and the dark bags under my eyes. :( I need to do something about that because I don't like the dark spots I have on my face right now. I look like shit. You're very pretty though! You're one of the most beautiful bloggers I've ever met, to be honest, and I adore you for rocking the pixie cut! I can't pull it off eh. Haha! xx

I love this post and you are seriously beautiful!! For me it's the majority of days that I just feel ugly but I guess it's more to do with my self confidence after struggling with an eating disorder - however, I'm recovering and getting a little better (almost) every day.