An Interview With Diana

Only a babe is capable of dealing with everyday oddities with the greatest of ease.

Most waffling dopes know that an uninvited chat rarely turns into light repartee. However, that was not the case with Diana, the waviest of creatures you’ll ever meet at the Brooklyn Museum, or any museum, or any Brooklyn.

We caught Diana during one of the tiniest moments of solitude, during which she was spacing out, waiting for her friends to meet her at the museum. She was sitting in the foyer when she completely lasso-ed our attention. Perhaps it was her tough-chick Doc Martens dangling from her freshly laundered, matching socks. I don’t know.

Since Diana is of the rarest strands of loveliness, she politely agreed to having a couple photos taken for BATM. Months trickled by and we could still not etch her out of our minds. To justify her magnanimity for the whole world to see, we tracked her down and asked her silly questions about bestiality in art, rappers playing artists in movies and more. Turns out, all this time, we were staring down the barrel of a funnier, smarter babe than we were ever prepared to encounter.

Well my name’s Diana. I’m originally from Oakland but it’s so true, I left my heart in San Francisco. Currently, finishing up my last semester at NYU so that keeps me mad busy but when I get the chance, I like to get lost in the city and get into trouble.

Take us back to that fateful day we met

Ha! I was at the Keith Haring exhibit in Brooklyn waiting for my friends. I’m usually the one fashionably late so I was trying extra hard to keep my cool when Xavier approached me. Quite honestly I thought he was either joking about working for a blog or that his blog was about lonely people at museums.

Your outfit was so discreetly bangin’. What were you wearing?

A fuzzy oversize sweater I found at a thrift shop with my favorite J Brand jeans and Doc Martens. Those socks, what ever happened to those?

On a completely unrelated note, how does that hair gets so wavy?

A little salt water spray and let’s be honest, a great hair curler, duh!

So what’d you think of the Keith Haring exhibition? Did one visit suffice?

I was completely blown away! The exhibit focused on his earlier works which felt so young, alive and free. Hell no, one visit was not enough!

Did you expect that much bestiality, I didn’t? (kidding, but for real, what was up with that?)

Oh dear! Penises and dolphins everywhere! Only someone like Keith Haring could get away with that…

I’m still unsure how I feel about the Brooklyn Museum. I like it but still feel like I can’t get totally addicted to their institution. What are your thoughts?

You know, it’s sort of like meeting with an old lover again- sometimes it’s a hit, other times it’s a miss… Personally, I’ve had a soft spot for the Brooklyn Museum every since their Takashi Murakami exhibit in 2008.

What’s your favorite museum and why?

This is probably a generic answer but I can never get tired of the MET. I like the fact that no matter what’s going on in this crazy city, you can enjoy a place where time stands still. That and some of the art scares me. I like that.

Which artist blows your hair back at the moment?

I’m still in a daze over the Yayoi exhibit at the Whitney. In honor of her, I purchased these hideous polka dot bedsheets. They were so awful, I think they gave me nightmares!

If you could change anything about how museums operate, what would it be?

If I rule the world, museums would be open until 2 am, every night.

Which actor would best play Keith Haring in his life movie?

That’s a tough one! If you’re cornering me to answer this one, I will have to say that rapper kid Mac Miller?

Generally in life, do you ask for permission or beg for forgiveness? And why?

These days, the only thing I’d beg for is a glass of water and a donut. I think if you can forgive yourself, you’ve got the world on your side.