It's tough, especially when you've been with them for so many years.
When I tried to do it, Tony the Tiger is like, "You can try, but You know you can't quit this!"...maybe he's right.

Toucan Sam isn't much better. He's a sweet talker, promising that it'll be different this time. It starts out fine enough, a carefully measured cup here, a one serving baggie there. Then, I find myself sitting alone in my house, in the dark, shades drawn up to my elbow in the box.

The Bee from Honey Nut Cheerios? He/she/it? gets you with that 'healthy' line, about lowering cholesterol and stuff. I shouldn't have any cholesterol for the amount of Cheerios I can put away.

It's not like the more you eat the healthier you are.

Frosted Mini-wheats don't want to help you get through school or work with added energy, they want you to get hooked on that awesome texture, and that sugary coating on each wheat? It could be like cocaine for how I keep goin' back.

All of them: Tony the Tiger, Lucky the Leprechaun, the Bee, the Frosted Mini Wheat, and the canine creature on the boxes of 'cookie crisp'..... they are all the same, each out to get you hooked.

Cookie Crisp is a gateway cereal if there ever was one. It looks and tastes like little cookies. Easy to eat, bite size cookies... but it's whole grain! It says right on the box. But let's be real. They are cookies. Lots of little cookies.
I tried to go to my girlfriends about this, but they are no help. Maybe what I've heard is right. Maybe they are bad influences.

Every time I hang out with them, it's always about food. When it was just me and Little Debbie, it was fine. Things got out of hand for awhile, when I realized that I fell right into the trap when she'd sell herself so cheaply....1.29 for a box of 6 twin bars? Then she started to hang out with Sarah Lee, who I didn't know well, and when they'd spend time at the Senior center with that old bat Debbie Crocker, I knew something was up. They wouldn't invite me out and when they did, all they wanted to do was bake! They did get into drugs, but really only pot, you know, for the munchies...

When I thought this mess couldn't get any more tangled, the girls started hanging out with some heavy hitters in the food racket: Ronald McDonald, The ( Burger ) King, and Wendy, thier Moll. They'd go on dinner and dessert dates...and always invite me along. Damn, it was hard to say no, sitting with McNuggets and fries and a Nutty Bar... I was in deep, but desperate to change my ways.

I had to make clean break. Even though all these were bad for me, and none had my best interest in mind, I had to make a break...finally.......
So yes, I do find myself alone, in uncharted territory, but I feel stronger every day. Yeah, I hear what they say, makin' fun of me for hanging out with, well, people instead of talking cereal mascots, and spokesmen for fast food and snackcakes...

I wrote this for my blog awhile ago...and I'm still cereal free. I was surprised at how much of a hold it had on me.