One Night Stand One-Liners by Sun Sign

The game of 21st century dating leaves few of us unscathed from the inevitable one night stand. The sex is either good, bad or just plain ugly. Ah well, we learn from our mistakes!

Sun sign astrology offers an insightful yet light-hearted look at how each sign approaches the terrain of the one night stand. Read on for a few laughable one-liners!

Aries: Competition is everything for the Ram, even in the bedroom. They will want to be on top … literally. Expect sweet nothings to the tone of, “I came before you did!”

Taurus: Sex is all about flesh and oral sex, so be prepared to give and receive … and receive again. Slow, methodical and predictable sex may quickly feel like Seinfeld re-runs until they say, “I’d like to eat chocolate body paint from your body…”

Gemini: You’ve heard the rumors about Geminis and their manual dexterity. Don’t hesitate for a moment when they say, “I’ve got this Kama Sutra book and there are some positions I’ve never tried…”

Cancer: You’ve had a cup of tea before heading to the bedroom. Before you even have a chance to get your groove on, they ask, “Would you like to have lunch with my parents tomorrow?”

Leo: Your night of lust will reveal the inner actor/actress in every passionate and bossy Leo. “Before we start, do you mind if I put this mirror here?”

Virgo: The renowned clean freaks of the zodiac will ask you, “Once I’ve had a shower, would you mind helping me change the sheets?”

Libra: Pleasant and accommodating, bordering on boring if they weren’t so damned gorgeous … “I think you must be my soul mate!”

Scorpio: You’ve been warned about lovers like this, but you know what they say about forbidden fruit … “Can we try anal next time?”

Sagittarius: All night sex for the Sag is what yoga is for the rest of us. Just when you need some sleep, they exclaim, “Hey, we haven’t done this position yet!”

Capricorn: The libido has impressed you. This could become a regular gig for you … until they say, “I’ll have to check my schedule before we can hook up again.”

Aquarius: You’ve taken a walk on the wild side and just when you thought it couldn’t get any wilder, “Would you mind bringing your sister along next time?”

Pisces: The emotional, ethereal and dreamy side of the Pisces has got you hooked. You found a soul connection until they ask, “What was your name again?”

About the AuthorCassandra Tyndall is an avid professional astrologer based in Sydney, who offers readings to clients locally, interstate and all over the globe. Known for her passion, skill and honesty, Cassandra combines traditional and modern techniques to enhance specific predictions for individuals, couples and businesses. She has been a regular contributor to the annual WellBeing Astrology Guide, and is the resident astrologer for Australia’s Women’s Health & Fitness magazine.

Taurus: “I so feel like a pizza now”
Gemini: “No, you hang up first”
Cancer: “Does this mean we are getting married?”
Libra: “I thought that was good, wasn’t it?”
Scorpio: “Should I untie you now?”
Sag: “I reckon we can do it on a bungee”
Cap: “Lets exchange business cards”

The Aquarius one is true. After I had a weekend fling with an Aquarius, and my bestfriend was part of the social gatherings he started hitting on my bestfriend!! After she made it clear that she doesn’t mess around with her bestfriends men, he said “how about the both of you” very sick!!!

That’s so true about saggi..I actually say often “that’s it?” or “ok, now let’s do sth else”=))
As for the scopios..I was actually asked by an ex that=))..and after that so called one night stand we end it up together. Crazy people scorps.

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