I heard the most brutal words to ever be spoken by a woman to a man!

These words struck at my very “man-ness” and made me shrink inside from the size of Goliath to the size of a red-backed bedbug. No man wants to hear from his girlfriend, the woman he loves and wants to spend the rest of his life with these words in succession “let’s just be friends.” I am always the dumper and never the dumpee so these words were unexpected and stung. It was like watching Star Wars Episode VI: The Return of the Jedi only to make it to the end where the good guys win and instead seeing Darth Vadar and the Empire live and triumph over the hero Luke and ultimately the Jedi force. She painfully saw something that I did not see and that was that our destinies were so large and what God had in store for us was so big that our relationship had no chance of holding up under the weight of it all. She was a preacher’s kid and a doctor, I was a minister and a business owner and while it lasted it was phenomenal. But she got offered a job upstate and I moved to Louisiana to be closer to my dad after he had his stroke and that would soon be that. I guess the land, per se, could not support us both. If we were already married we would have been forced to compromise and work it out, but since we were only dating we simply parted ways. Parting ways is what we are going to discuss today.

Abraham and Lot had to go separate ways and it is not because they hated each other and it was not because they lost love for each other. Lot was his prized nephew and beloved of Abraham. At one point after they separated Abraham risked his life and the life of his men to save Lot, yet despite how much Abraham and Lot loved each other the land under the weight of their blessing could not support them both.

Genesis 13

1So Abram left Egypt and traveled north into the Negev, along with his wife and Lot and all that they owned. 2(Abram was very rich in livestock, silver, and gold.)

5Lot, who was traveling with Abram, had also become very wealthy with flocks of sheep and goats, herds of cattle, and many tents. 6But the land could not support both Abram and Lot with all their flocks and herds living so close together. 7So disputes broke out between the herdsmen of Abram and Lot.

8Finally Abram said to Lot, “Let’s not allow this conflict to come between us or our herdsmen. After all, we are close relatives! 9The whole countryside is open to you. Take your choice of any section of the land you want, and we will separate. If you want the land to the left, then I’ll take the land on the right. If you prefer the land on the right, then I’ll go to the left.”

10Lot took a long look at the fertile plains of the Jordan Valley in the direction of Zoar. The whole area was well watered everywhere, like the garden of the Lord or the beautiful land of Egypt.

14After Lot had gone, the Lord said to Abram, “Look as far as you can see in every direction—north and south, east and west. 15I am giving all this land, as far as you can see, to you and your descendants as a permanent possession. 16And I will give you so many descendants that, like the dust of the earth, they cannot be counted! 17Go and walk through the land in every direction, for I am giving it to you.”

18So Abram moved his camp to Hebron and settled near the oak grove belonging to Mamre. There he built another altar to the Lord.

Let’s take a moment to really analyze what is happening here. Let’s take another look at Genesis 13 and I will add commentary in red.

Genesis 13

1So Abram left Egypt and traveled north into the Negev, along with his wife and Lot and all that they owned. 2(Abram was very rich in livestock, silver, and gold.)

(God blesses Abraham known as Abram at this time and blesses Abraham’s family.)

5Lot, who was traveling with Abram, had also become very wealthy with flocks of sheep and goats, herds of cattle, and many tents.

(God blesses Abram’s nephew Lot while he is with Abram)

6But the land could not support both Abram and Lot with all their flocks and herds living so close together.

(Due to the blessings of God the place where Abram and Lot were became insufficient).

(When you stay somewhere longer than God has intended you too you should expect fights to break out! Relatives are great company until they stay too long. Being on an elevated level is awesome as well until you remain on that level longer than you were instructed to by God.)

8Finally Abram said to Lot, “Let’s not allow this conflict to come between us or our herdsmen. After all, we are close relatives! 9The whole countryside is open to you. Take your choice of any section of the land you want, and we will separate. If you want the land to the left, then I’ll take the land on the right. If you prefer the land on the right, then I’ll go to the left.”

(This is Abram’s way of saying “hey man, we’re family and I love you, but this is no longer working we have to part ways. You have first dibs on any area you want, but this walking together has come to an end.)

10Lot took a long look at the fertile plains of the Jordan Valley in the direction of Zoar. The whole area was well watered everywhere, like the garden of the Lord or the beautiful land of Egypt.

14After Lot had gone, the Lord said to Abram, “Look as far as you can see in every direction—north and south, east and west. 15I am giving all this land, as far as you can see, to you and your descendants as a permanent possession. 16And I will give you so many descendants that, like the dust of the earth, they cannot be counted! 17Go and walk through the land in every direction, for I am giving it to you.”

(When you realign with God, blessings follow. Earlier on God had told Abram that Abram needed to go in alone, but instead he brought Lot. God tolerated it as long as He could and continued to bless Abram, but there are certain levels that you cannot get to when you refuse to realign yourself with God. We are locked out of certain destinies that require us to detach from what is familiar and comfortable. It is easy to be bold when you have a friend, but God said that I am a friend that sticks closer than a brother so trust me and not your five senses or sense of emotion. Let go of the familiar and come!)

18So Abram moved his camp to Hebron and settled near the oak grove belonging to Mamre. There he built another altar to the Lord.

(When you break away, build an altar and praise God for the breakthrough!)