Where should I sit in my tute?

Welcome to The University of Sydney! While you may think all the hard work to get into this grand establishment means you can now relax, chill out, and let your Ps get you a degree, the hardest test of your intelligence occurs when you walk in the door of your first class. The information you…

Welcome to The University of Sydney! While you may think all the hard work to get into this grand establishment means you can now relax, chill out, and let your Ps get you a degree, the hardest test of your intelligence occurs when you walk in the door of your first class.

The information you are about to read is far more important than what sits in your overpriced textbooks.

At the front of the room you’ll see those with their notebooks out and date’s written on the paper, otherwise known as The 10% Participation Party. If you’re eager to get ahead and want to be known just by your voice, then take a seat with a good view to the action. But be warned, once you start in this position of power, you’ll have to maintain it for the rest of your degree.

Watch out for the Back Row Bludgers, these people have too much faith in one pen to get them through the semester. But if you want to spend your tutorials scrolling through Facebook without anyone noticing, this is the seat for you. Just maybe invest in another pen, for backup.

The middle of the room is referred to as the Sweet Spot: not too close and not too far. Here you can easily fake attention when the 9am tutorials are just getting too much, but also keep an eye out for buzzwords that sound important enough to turn your laptop on for.

Your choice of seating will define you as a person for the length of your degree. So choose wisely, young one.

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We acknowledge the traditional custodians of this land, the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. The University of Sydney – where we write, publish and distribute Honi Soit – is on the sovereign land of these people. As students and journalists, we recognise our complicity in the ongoing colonisation of Indigenous land. In recognition of our privilege, we vow to not only include, but to prioritise and centre the experiences of Indigenous people, and to be reflective when we fail to be a counterpoint to the racism that plagues the mainstream media.