The Retort

Student Donates Her Spring Break
Marissa Davila (center) strikes a pose with Paige Payton and a local man named Jose in front of a Habitat for Humanity house which
they were painting. Photo courtesy of Marissa Davila
Rory Jetmore
The Retort
An unknown author once wrote,
"it takes hands to build a house, but only
hearts can build a home." MSU-B stu-dent
Marissa Davila knows the impor-tance
of that quote. Over Spring Break
Davila, along with eight other MSU-B
students, fastened their carpenter tool
belts and boarded a plane for San Anto-nio
to help build eight houses with Habi-tat
for Humanity International. Davila
learned about the opportunity from the
Habitat for Humanity Billings affiliate
Mid-Yellowstone Valley. "I felt it was
important I go and use my Spring Break
to do something for others," Davila said.
Habitat for Humanity Mid-
Yellowstone Valley is a nonprofit, ecu-menical
Christian housing organization,
established in 1993 to offer local fami-lies
in need decent, affordable housing.
Since then, Habitat for Humanity Mid-
Yellowstone Valley has built 38 homes
in the Billings area. Volunteer Coordi-nator,
Debra Reiter said, "We build
houses in partnership with the families
in need. The houses are then sold to the
families at no profit and no interest
charge added." Habitat for Humanity
would not be able to last without gener-ous
donations from the Billings commu-nity.
There are over 60 corporate orga-nizations
as well as 12 churches in part-nership
with Habitat for Humanity Mid-
Yellowstone Valley. In order to gener-ate
more funds, the nonprofit organiza-tion
set up ReStore to sell donated used
and new building material. "It's like a
See HABITAT page 3
■•■••■■■••1110/....s.a...man.14114.
E6-3SINCE 1959
It is Indeed ironic that we
spend our school days
yearning to graduate and
our remaining days wax-ing
nostalgic about our
school days.
-Isabel Waxman 11
THE VOICE OF MONTANA STATE
Tuesday, April 4,2007
IVIIRSITY-BILLINGS
Volume 78, Issue 11
Letters to the
Editor
Page 11
SUB to Add
New Game
Room
Page 3
Fehlmann
Named as
Next Year's
President
Page 5
Students
Chat About
Their Tats
Page 8
New Marquee to Grace Rimrock Road
'Transformations"
on Dis
No
Page
Former
Jacket Coach
Entered into
Hall of Fame
Page 13
The new marque on Rimrock Road, which will feature the new MSU-B
logo, will look like this. Graphic courtesy of Eakle Barfield/Facility
Services
11111111111111
11111•111111•111111111 aimommume 1111111111141 .•
1111111111111' 1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111
NMI 11111111111111111
IMM11111111•11110111 111111111111111111111IIMII 11111111111111111
MIR
111111111111111111111/1/1111111111111 IMMO
cjAIL
BILLINGS
.4-7120.0
MONTANA
16 X 80
MATRIX
Steven Pittenger
The Retort
For those returning to cam-pus
this fall, or even planning on
sticking around for the summer,
a lot of changes are slated to take
place here at MSU-B. One of
the more prominent ones is a
new marquee to replace the
current one on Rimrock Road.
Unlike it's predecessor,
the new marquee will be com-pletely
digital. This means a
substantial increase in effi-cacy
for the Student Union
Building managers who cur-rently
change the sign by hand,
even iu the freezing cold. The
new marquee will also be
emblazened with the new offi-cial
MSU-B logo. which is
scheduled to completely replace
the old one on July 1.
ASMSU-B has been ac-tively
involved in this project,
committing $25,000 to match
funds from the Chancellor. Al-though
the exact date is yet to be
decided, officials plan to start
construction for the new marquee
later this spring. The project it-self
has been several years in-the-making
and has faced several ob-stacles,
including budgeting and
departmental politics. Neverthe-less,
the project has come to frui-tion.
Now students, organizations,
and community projects can have
their events posted with just a few
clicks of the mouse. Look for this
and many more positive changes
over the coming months. Hopefully
this is just a prectusor to geat things
to come.
Visit us online at msubillings.edu/retort
My Ultimate Penultimate 1500 University Drive SUB 225
Billings, Montana 59101
Business and Newsroom: 406-657-2194
Fax: 406-657-2191
E-mail: retort@imsubillings.edu
The Retort Staff
Editor-in-Chief
Dana Livermont
Faculty Advisor
Nancy Swanson
Copy Editor
Heather Vandever
A & E Editor
Mike Schrage
Sports Editor
Jed Barton
Photographer
Matt Langman
Staff Writers
Wyley Chick
Leigh Krise
Rory Jetniore
Steven Pittenger
Niki Porter
Reporter
Rocky Mees
Cartoonist
Dan Hansen
It wasn't until
recently that I
learned the meaning
of the word
"penultimate. -
Dictionary.com says
that "penultimate -
means "next to last.
or pertaining to the
penult.- A "penult"
often means the
second to last item in a series. This
issue of "The Retort." Issue 11.
happens to be the penultimate
issue. not only of this semester. but
of the entire school year and of my
career at this student newspaper.
What astonishes me about the word
"penultimate" is that it sounds so
cool. yet is used to describe
something that usually just isn't.
We have become accustomed to
noticing the first and last of any
series. These are important.
because they mark the alpha and
the omega—the beginning and the
end. But penultimate? I just can't
think of anything cool to say about
any penultimates. this issue in-cluded.
except that the end is
near...
The truth is that I've been
really excited all year to write the
penultimate editorial. Ifs one of
those words that can only be
utilized at a specific time, so it
must be locked away in your
special diction holding box until
the day it can finally be unleashed.
However. that day has come. and
alas. the excitement has dwindled.
Its pretty much the same feeling
you get when you
anticipate your
birthday or any other
holiday. You hold
lofty expectations for
the day. yet when she
arrives. she turns out
to be painfully and
disappointingly
similar to the rest.
At any rate. I
hope you enjoy this penultimate
issue, which. although proves to be
much like the rest in many regards.
has some surprising and unex-pected
perks for you. the reader.
As for me. I guess I'll just have to
tuck this ultimate Retort
penultimate to bed and move my
eyes forward to the ultimate Retort
ultimate—the last of the lasts—
which is assured to initiate some
teary eyes and retrospection if
nothing else.
If you have a story, pictures, art, or
creative writing you would like to see
published in The Retort, please contact
us by phone at 406-657-2194 or by e-mail
at retortemsubillings.edu
Guidelines & Policies
The Retort encourages the submission of letters to
the Editor. Letters must be under 250 words in length
and include name, signature, and phone number. The
Retort reserves the right to edit for space and possible
libel. Letters should deal with subject matter relevant to
the students, faculty, and staff of MSU-Billings. The Re-tort
is published twice a month. Letters must be submit-ted
by the Friday after the most recnt issue date.
The Retort is made possible in part by student fees
allocated by ASNISU-Billings.
The Publications Board of ASMSU-Billings advises
The Retort, leaving content decisions to the editors. Opin-ions
expressed in The Retort are not necessarily those of
its members, the university, students, nor student, state,
or federal governments.
PAGE 2•THE RETORT
Steven Pittenger
The Retort
If you live on campus then there's a pretty good chance
you've visited the Student Union Building a number of times.
Probably for a meal or the occasional social function, but what
you probably didn't know was that the Student Union offers stu-dents
a lot more then just that. So to help you out , here's a list of
just a few of the services available to you.
First and foremost the SUB, as it is affectionately called is
(usually) open later than any building on campus. This means it's
an ideal place for those late night study groups or just to play a
quick game of ping pong when you need a break. Students are
free to use the many tables located throughout the building as
well as most available rooms for even more privacy and quiet.
Also available in the Student Union is info about various
student organizations around campus. Most of the larger ones
(including the Retort) have offices in the building. Room 219 is a
great place to start if your looking for general information about
organizations. It's also where to go if you want to start your own
student organization.
On the business end of things, you can find the housing
office and business operations as well. These are the places to go
if you need to add money to a U-Card, have questions about your
housing contract, or where you can go if you lose your U-Card.
The housing office also approves postings and flyers for the dorms.
Next up we have the offices of ASMSUB or stu-dent
government. These are where your elected officials
work to help make the school a better place for you. You
can also make an appointment to speak with an attorney
(free of cost if you are taking seven or more credits), or
share an idea for improvement with any of the officers
there.
Of course, this article can't be written without mak-ing
a shameless plug for the Retort. This newspaper loves
student feedback, input, and submissions. If you've got
anything at all you feel newsworthy, just bring it by for
review and possible publication.
Next up on our whirlwind tour of the SUB is the
Student Activities Board. These folks do a wonderful job
of planning events for campus and making sure there are
exciting activities throughout the semester. They also hire
annually, so if you want to get involved that's a great way
to do it.
There's also the Fireplace Lounge which has a big
TV great for chilling out and taking a load off. There are
so many other places in the SUB for people to explore
including Jacket Junkies, United Campus Ministries,
Custodial Services and Sodexho, our on campus dining
service. The SUB isn't just that building you pass through
to get to another dorm, it's a place truly designed with the
student in mind. Walk around, get involved, find out
what's going on. You'll be surprised by what you find.
The Student Union Building (SUB) is home to many organizations and meeting rooms, and will soon house the new ASMSU-B
sponsored Game Room. Photo by Wyley Chick
NEWS &
CAMPUS LIFE
This SUB's For You
HABITAT from page 1
thrift store, said Reiter. -Except we sell
doors and light fixtures instead of clothes
and knickknacks."
Generous financial contributions
and extra income generated from
ReStore do not act alone to keeping the
nonprofit going. "The backbone is defi-nitely
the dedicated volunteers," said
Reiter. There are volunteer positions
available not only in the construction of
houses, but in the office, and at ReStore.
No special skills are required to be a vol-unteer
for Habitat for Humanity Mid-
Yellowstone Vall6y. "We take people
where they're at," said Reiter. We only
require that the volunteer has an enthu-siastic
attitude and a willingness to
work." While in San Antonio, Davila no-ticed
there were volunteers from all skill
levels. She noticed a wide range from
experienced carpenters donating their
time and expertise, to professionals and
students. Neighbors kept Davila and the
other volunteers hydrated by supplying
fresh water as well as providing indi-vidual
packed lunches for each volun-teer.
"There was such a sense of pride
and community," Davila said of the
worksite.
Spring Break is long gone and
Davila has once again returned to being
a full-time student here at MSU-B. But
she fondly remembers the enormous im7
• pact she and the other MSU-B students
had on the families in San Antonio. 'By
volunteering for Habitat we helped fami-lies,
who otherwise could not afford to
be homeowners, fulfill their dream of
having a place to call their own. I'm so
proud," Davila said. To get involved as
a volunteer for Habitat for Humanity
Mid-Yellowstone Valley, get a hold of
Volunteer Coordinator, Debra Reiter at
652-0690 or at www.billingshabitatorg.
ASMSU-B
Sponsors
Game
Room in
SUB
Heather Vandever
The Retort
New life is about to be
breathed into MSU-B's student
union building (SUB); a new game
room is on the drawing table. A
game room committee has been
working together for the past year,
in hopes of instilling the desire of
the students to socialize on cam-pus.
Senator Zach Abels heads up
this committee and is really excited
that this game room is coming in
the very near future. "It will be a
place where students can come and
hang out," Zach explains. "We
want all students to use it, not just
people in the dorms." So when will
the students see the benefits of all
this planning?
The game room, including
three pool tables, one pinball ma-chine,
one arcade game, booths,
high top tables, overhead billiard
lamps, and possibly more, will be
coming to the SUB near you. "It's
a matter of how much space we
have," Zach commented.- Perhaps
if there is more room an air hockey
table might even make its way in
there. "Hopefully by the middle
of the month [April] or the begin-ning
of the next," Zach com-mented.
If it doesn't get up and
running by the end of this semes-ter,
however, it will almost defi-nitely
be up by the beginning of the
next school year. The new game
room can be found in the Fireplace
Lounge, with hours of operation
the same as the SUB.
This much needed change is
being made possible by many dif-ferent
people; Zach is just the per-son
that collaborates everyone's
ideas into one. "I take everybody's
advice and organize the ideas,"
Zach explains. "I didn't realize all
the people that had to be involved."
Many organizations are contribut-ing
their services, including
Beezer's, the cafeteria, • t he SUB,
Sodexho, Facility Services, and
ASMSU-B, just to name a few.
Perhaps this game room will bring
about just the change that is needed
to facilitate more social interaction
between students. Zach concluded,
"Once this gets done, we'll see a
lot of change come about in the
SUB."
THE RETORT* PAGE 3
mommy, WAKE
47% OF WOMEN MURDERED IN MONTANA LAST YEAR
WERE KILLED BY THEIR HUSBANDS OR BOYFRIENDS.
SOURCE. MONTANA Gomm oc CRIME CONTROL. 200e
OPEN YOUR EYES.
DOMESTIC & SEXUAL
VIOLENCE SERVICES
OF CARRON COUNTY
WWW.DSVSMONTANA.ORG
425-2222
Craphictle..irr latowtzeutoftlm
This public service announcement Is part of the "Open Your Eyes' campagn which won MSU-B students and professors several ADDY® Awards. Graphic courtesy of
University Relations
MSU-Billings Students Win Four Addy Awards
MSU BILLINGS NEWS SERVICE
— Montana State University Billings
communication and marketing stu-dents
and their two professors won
four coveted GOLD ADDY®
Awards. a SILVER ADDY® and a
BRONZE ADDY® for an -Open
Your Eyes" public service marketing
campaign the students wrote, created
and designed last spring to raise
awareness of domestic violence in
Yellowstone and Carbon counties.
The ADDY® Awards are the
advertising industry's most presti-gious
annual awards, given to adver-tising,
production and media-indus-try
professionals. MSU Billings'
ADDYs® were presented to the stu-dents
and their professors during an
awards banquet in Great Falls on
February 17. The MSU Billings stu-dents
were the only students this year
to win an ADDY in Montana.
The ADDY award-winning
public service marketing campaign
was conceived and written by MSU
Billings communications students in
Dr. Sarah Keller's Media for Social
Change classes, and by MSU Billings
business students in Dr. A.J. Otjen's
Integrated and Applied Marketing
classes. The campaign was a col-laborative
effort between Keller's
communication classes in the MSU
Billings College of Arts and Sci-ences,
and Otjen's marketing classes
in the MSU Billings College of Busi-ness.
MSUB Assistant Professor Dr.
Jenny Leonard, in the College of
Business. and one of her students.
Christina Schultz, contributed with
a Web site to support the campaign.
The campaign's theme, "Open
Your Eyes," was intended to draw at-tention
to the prevalence of domes-tic
violence, which directly affects
one in three U.S. women during their
lifetime. The campaign, which de-buted
last June 1 and ran through last
summer, consisted of four television
public service announcements that
aired statewide, billboards, posters
and newspaper ads.
The four GOLD ADDY®
Awards bestowed to MSU Billings,
in recognition of the highest level of
creative excellence and for entries
judged to be superior to all others in
the competition, were for the over-all
multi-media campaign, the "Brain
Injury" television public service an-nouncement,
the posters, and the
newspaper ads.
The SILVER ADDY® was
awarded for the "Teddy Bear" tele-vision
public service announcement:
the BRONZE ADDY® was pre-sented
for the "Barbecue" public ser-vice
announcement.
The television public service
announcements were professionally
filmed and produced by Anne Gauer
and Allen Peters of Spotlight Produc-tions,
with editing by Jack Gauer of
Montana Video Productions: and by
Ed Connors with Fox/ABC News.
Billboards, posters and newspaper
ads were designed by Joe Heins of
Heins Creative. The poster was
printed by Econo Print.
The campaign goals were to re-duce
violence through education, and
to put survivors of violence in touch
with support services available
through Domestic and Sexual Vio-lence
Services of Carbon County
(DSVS) and the YWCA Domestic
Violence/Sexual Assault Program of
Billings.
DSVS and the YWCA strive to
reduce domestic and sexual violence
by providing support services to
women, children, and families im-pacted
by this violence. The YWCA
provides shelter to approximately
500 Billings-area women each year,
and reaches numerous others through
its hotline number and support
groups. The DSVS provided service
to 32 people in 2005, and reached
654 people thru educational pro-grams.
This campaign was made pos-sible
by support from Heins Creative.
Spotlight Productions, Montana
Video Productions, Fox News, the
MSU Billings Foundation, the MSU
Billings College of Arts & Sciences.
the MSU Billings College of Busi-ness.
MSU Billings University Re-lations,
Zonta, the Billings Area
Taskforce on Family Violence,
Coastal Vacations, Inside Signs, the
Brain Injury Association of Montana,
and the Montana Department of Cor-rections.
This is the second year the
MSU Billings students have de-signed
a social awareness marketing
campaign. Their successful 2005
statewide marketing campaign, "Get
Tested,- raised awareness of the per-sonal
risk of HIV/AIDS and encour-aged
testing among young adults.
MSU Billings students have
been the first students in the state to
receive any ADDY Awards. In 2004.
four students in Otjen's Integn,ited
Marketing Communications class re-ceived
a BRONZE ADDY for a ra-dio
campaign they produced that aca-demic
year. 2004 was the first year
judges in the ADDY Award compe-tition
accepted entries by students.
In 2005, Otjen's Applied Marketing
Communications students took home
a SILVER ADDY for another radio
campaign they produced. Also in
2005, Leonard's Information Tech-nology
Society students Christina
Shultz and John Maloney won a
BRONZE ADDY for a Web site they
produced for Cody Cowboy Village.
To view the MSU Billings stu-dents'
"Open Your Eyes" domestic
violence ADDY Award-winning
campaign, visit the campaign Web
site created by Dr. Jenny Leonard
and student Christine Schultz, at
www.msubillings.edu/
BusinessFaczilty/Leonartildsys
ipmmlimummimmmummi
1 11 ASMSU-B 1
1
1 1
1 PRESENTS ITS 17TH 1
1 1
1 1
11 ANNUAL 11 11 EASTER EGG HUNT 11
I1 1 1 10:30 A.M. 11
I 1
1 SATURDAY, 1
1
1
1 1
1 APRIL 7, 2007 1
1 1
11 Ages 0-10 11
1 1
1 1
1 1
1 MEET AT THE PEAKS TO PLAINS PARK on the I
1 MSU-BILLINGS CAMPUS 1
1 1
1 1
1 1
1 EVERYONE IS INVITED TO ATTEND. BRING YOUR 1 i 1
I KIDS, GRANDKIDS, ETC. 1
1 WE HAVE STUFFED 8,000 EGGS FOR THIS EVENT. 1
1 1
imummummommiwinuommilimimmmil
PAGE 4•THE RETORT
Tiffani Fehlman was elected the 2007-2008 ASMSU-B student
body President. Photo courtesy of ASMSU-B
When MSU-B patrol officers are driving around campus, they're aren't just writing
parking tickets; they're trying to keep students safe. Photo by Wyley Chick
Few Students Head to the Polls
for ASMSU-B Elections
Dana Livermont
The Retort
This year's ASMSU-B
Presidential elections gener-ated
a dismal turnout with
only 265 MSU-B students tak-ing
to the polls. This means
that of the 4.693 students reg-istered
this semester. only 5.6
percent took the initiative and
interest to choose their stu-dent
government representa-tion.
This amount is a sub-stantial
decrease from last
year's turnout. which was
nearly 15 percent of the stu-dent
body, yet right on par
with the election two years
ago in which 6 percent of stu-dents
voted.
This election included
unopposed candidates for both
ASMSU-B President and Vice
President. At 5:21 p.m. on
March 21, Tiffani Fehlmann
was officially named the
2007-2008 ASMSU-B Presi-dent
with 231 votes. Shelley
Tanskanen was chosen as Vice
President with 218 votes.
There were 13 senator-at-
large positions available for
the fall. Election results for 18
candidates who ran for those
postions are as follows:
*Zach Abels 157
*Ashley Adams 118
*Barbara Bessette 144
Danielle Burwell 87
*Kayla Corcoran 111
*Kalli Cox 126
*Alicia Esteves 136
*Anna Gibson 135
*Tess Hatfield 129
Owen Hoenhous 97
Justin Mohr 103
*Amanda Morales 147
*Susan Napier 116
*Annie Snedigar 160
*Jennifer Steiner 136
Corinna Waters 91
*Joe Wesen 158
LaWarren Whiteman 58
(* denotes winner)
This semester's ballot
also included a constitutional
amendment to move control
of elections into the hands of
the ASMSU-B Political Ac-tion
Director instead of the
Vice President. This amend-ment
passed with 190 votes
for it and 26 votes against it.
Of newly elected sen-ate,
current ASMSU-B Presi-dent
Kevin Majewski said, "I
think [it] looks pretty darn
good. I have high expecta-tions
for the new senate." If
Majewski's supposition
proves correct, students next
year can anticipate great
things to come from
ASMSU-B.
Campus Police
They Do More Thana Just nWrite Tickets
Leigh Krise
The Retort
The struggle between civilians and
the authorities has been a problem as
long as the two groups have been in ex-istence.
Even though the authorities
work to protect us, much of the time they
are met with animosity from the very
people they are sworn to protect. This
is also the case for the campus police
right here at MSU-Billings. In reality, the
officers do much more for us, but many
students view their office merely as a
place to go to take care of parking tick-ets.
"I'm not sure what they do other
place to park," said sophomore MSU-B
student Sarah Biniek. "I never see them
unless it has to do with a ticket." This is
a confusion that the campus police
would love to clear up.
Barbara Hagel. head of campus
police. employs eight officers who do
all they can to ensure that the students
have a safe and comfortable campus.
"We are always open to opinions about
how we do our jobs. We need the stu-dents
- input." Hagel said. The force is
always changing and evolving to better
serve the students.
Campus police do a lot of hard
work and lot surveys to gain perspec-tive
on things that the campus might
need and what students think is impor-tant
to keep the campus safe. The office
is open 24-7, and in Hagel's 24 years
here, the office has only closed once for
the death of a fellow policeman. All of
the authorities are sworn policemen and
have been academy
trained; they cooperate'
with local and state law
enforcement to stay up to
date on current situations.
There are also panic
buttons located in differ-ent
areas on campus,
which many students
seem to not know. "I have
never seen a single panic
button on this campus,"
Biniek said. However,
some can be found in the
Liberal Arts building as
well as near the financial
office. Although there are
currently no emergency
buttons located outside,
the officers are looking into installing
some. On their website_ they have links
to area offenders of both violent and
sexual nature. and they also post pictures
of the offenders in their office.
One reason that the campus seems
so quiet is that Hagel and the other of-ficers'
main focus is being proactive in-stead
of reactive. She says that there are
still quite a few thefts and break-ins, but
there has only been one assault so far
this year. A lot of the calm can be attrib-uted
to the demographics of our small
campus, but the officers' diligence to
staying aware of things like danger zones
and restraining orders can also be the
reason.
Barbara Hagel and the rest of the
campus police are here for the students'
safety. They aren't trying to be the bad
guys, but are trying to fight the bad guys.
With cooperation and feedback from the
students, the campus can only become a
safer place for everyone.
Contact Information
Phone
ext. 2147 (on campus);
657-2147 (off campus)
Mailing Address
Campus Police Department
Montana State University-Billings
1500 University Drive
Billings, MT 59101
E-Mail Address
bhagel@msubillings.edu
Website
www.msubillings.edu/security
THE R_ETOIU0 PAGE 5
Mike Schrage cal black garb, bathed in
the soft lights of the
Alberta Bair, holding the
attention of the audience
captive. Finally, one
The Retort
The performers stood
onstage, clothed in identi- stepped forward and spoke.
The recent perfromance of Romeo and Juliet by the Aquila Theatre Group at the
Alberta Bairr Theatre was a real success. Photo courtesy of Alberta Bair Theatre
AlTS & ENTERTAINMENT
Romeo + Juliet to the Power of Five
"All five performers
have learned every part to
"Romeo and Juliet," He
said, "and tonight, the
hands of fate determined by
you, the audience, will
determine
what parts we
play." The
actors then
dispersed
throughout
the crowd,
where
members of
the audience
picked
random
scraps of
paper that
assigned a
several
specific
characters to
a particular
actor. The
actors then
retreated
behind the
backdrop to
begin the
show.
The
three men
and two
women were
members of
the New York
based Aquila
Theatre
Group, an
ensemble of
British and
American
classically
trained
Shakespearian
actors, whose
tour just so
happened to cruise them
right through Billings,
Montana, with a stop at
Billing's own Alberta Bair.
Combining the traditional
Elizabethan method of
visual storytelling with a
sense of humor and an
almost total lack of onstage
props, the Aquila Group's
interpretation of the
famous, yet still largely
unfamiliar piece of litera-ture,
transformed into a
very engaging three hour
literary tour de force.
"Romeo and Juliet."
the Shakespearian story
that takes place in Renais-sance-
era Verona, • Italy, is
the tale of two star-crossed
lovers from the two feuding
families, the Montagues
and the Capulets. Though
some may perceive the
small group of actors
performing every role in a
major play to be a detri-ment.
members of the
troupe easily and flawlessly
assumed the mantle of
several complex and vastly
different characters, little
details such as gender
notwithstanding. Anyone
who has auditioned for any
major role in a script and
understands the effort and
difficulty that goes into
perfecting the dialogue,
quirks, and distinct manner-isms
of one character, must
display outright apprecia-tion
and even envy at people
who have to master fifteen
or twenty very different
parts.
In a play such as
"Romeo and Juliet," where
character development is of
the utmost importance, one
would automatically assume
that a production with five
performers and nearly void
of props would be difficult,
if not impossible to success-fully
interpret. The actors,
much to their credit, made
each of their determined
characters totally
discernable and autono-mous,
despite being por-trayed
by one actor. They
mastered posture, accent,
gestures and pronunciations
to set each role apart as
good (if not better) then I
have ever personally seen it
done. The Aquilians made it
very difficult to focus on the
multi-tasking of roles;
instead you recognized each
actor not by his or her own
appearance, but by the role
that he or she was portray-ing.
This flawless interpre-tation
must have sprung
from some sort of rare talent
gland that the average man
and woman does not
genetically produce, and
only so much credit can be
placed on repetition to a
different city every night,
which is the way of life for
many touring groups.
Anyone can put on a play
that was popular almost a
half millennium old, but it
takes a very unique and
seldom-seen talent to make it
a believable experience. I am
willing to wager that by the
time the thespiins did their
final bow that March
evening, the Alberta Bair
Theatre was full of believers.
1610 Dear GalDby:
Dear Gabby:
I have a whole bunch of classes
that I have to study for. I study a
bunch on my own and with a bunch
of people. I understand the material,
but when I take the test I do poorly.
How can I improve my grades?
-Failing in School
Dear Failing in School:
Everyone has some semesters that
are more difficult than others. It seems
like you're headed on the right tract to
studying.
• Before you start hitting the
books, talk to your professor and see if
he/she has any advice to give you on
preparing for the test. Listen carefully
and take the wisdom with grace.
• When you go to apply that
wisdom, make sure that your mind is
only focused on the subject you're
studying. Make sure nothing is both-ering
you or occupying your gray mat-ter.
The number one thing that can
screw up the retention of knowledge,
though, is studying with music on.
When music is playing, your mind isn't
completely focused on what you're
reading and it wanders.
• Make note cards that have the
question on one side and the answer on
the other. Try to not only understand
the material, but try to almost memo-rize
it. Some teachers can want ex-tremely-
specific answers.
▪ Have someone quiz you, but
rather than question/answer. try teach-ing
the concept to them. If they under-stand
what you're explaining and can
explain it back, then you can most likely
explain it on a test.
• As for the people that you
study with, are they friends that you
study with or just study buddies? When
you study with friends, the intended
study session can become more of a
social time and little can get accom-plished.
Study with people that are
strictly acquaintances and are there for
the sole purpose of studying.
So turn off the music, make sure
your mind is clear, and buckle down
with the book. Good luck!!
Send your anonymous
questions to Gabby,
and she'll help you out
with love, life, and
whatever.
Send questions to:
sweet_angel1005_@hotmail.com
PAGE 6•THE RETORT
The St. Patty's Day parade in Butte is fun for all ages.
Photo from The Retort archives
CD Swap: Rocky Mees and Leigh Krise
Dave Mathews Band, "Crash" Tiger Army, "II:Power of the Moonlite"
Leigh says, "I picked this, because it is my favorite CD in th
whole world. I figured that out of all of the girlie music I have,
Rocky would dislike this one the least"
Rocky says, "The reason why I chose Tiger Army is
because I felt like Leigh needed to get a change of pace in
music, something that had more passion and not so slow like
Dave Matthews Band.."
Rocky Mees
The Retort
The first song of Dave Matthews
Band's "Crash" really got my atten-tion.
Even though I hate his voice, I
thought the lyrics were great, and the
band seemed to do excellent on this
song. It's probably my favorite song
on the album, as I could relate to the
song and enjoy it: After this song,
though. it was flashback nightmares of
when I had to endure the agony of
seeing and hearing ''Crash Into Me"
and similar songs everyday in 1997. I
still feel ill when I hear tht... song to
this day. If you like jam bands and sad
love poems, you might like this album.
Some of the songs are probably great
to listen to when you're at home, all
alone. It doesn't get better until the last
song, ''Proudest Monkey," which I
might just like for the fact that it just
goes into a jam session, and I don't
have to listen to Dave Mathews's
voice. If I could just somehow remove
Dave from the band, I would be
stoked, because I believe the band is
good. Hopefully someday he will just
shut up and just play the guitar, then I
might go and buy one of their CDs.
Leigh Krise
The Retort
Ali, punk music. It's very hard
for me to determine why people listen
to it. My general dislike of punk music
is due to the fact that nearly every song
has the same beat, features a singer who
neglects to add the final syllables to
every word and screams in a whiney
British accent. Tiger Army's CD did
nothing to disprove my opinion.
I should probably point out that
there are some good things in this CD,
Tiger Army's drummer has the ability
to keep a steady and driving beat
(granted he only has to know one
and the guitar is very upbeat and
potentially inspiring. I honestly almost
liked a few of the songs, "Cupid's
Victim," "Valley of Dreams," and "In
the Orchard" because they had a
different beat and a twangy, almost
Johnny Cash sound. I had great hopes
for "Annabel Lee" (because of the
Lee/Leigh part) but the song was
virtually indistinguishable from all of
the others.
I have to thank Rocky for giving
me what I suspect is a relatively tame
part of his CD collection. While Tiger
Amiv didn't earn a new fan, and I
doubt that I'll ever listen to them again,
I didn't hate the CD.
One Student's Butte St. Patty's Day. Adventure
Rocky Mees
The Retort
This year, I de-cided
that I should cel-ebrate
St. Patrick's Day
in the most proper place
(other than Ireland)
which would be Butte,
Montana. I've heard a
lot stories about Butte
on St. Patrick's Day, so
I had to go see if there
was any truth to my
friends' stories. They
said it was usually cold,
that there was an hour-long
parade, and after
the parade, you would
just go drinking, wan-dering
around in the
chaos that ensued after
the parade.
I drove up there in
the morning and got
there a little bit before
the parade started. It
was a very nice day at
about 65 degrees, and
everybody I talked to
said it was the warmest
they'd seen it in a long
time for the holiday.
I walked around
and saw lots of green. I
saw couple of friends I
knew. I even saw Jon
Tester and Brian
Schweitzer; they both
seemed to be excited
about being in Butte
when I talked to them.
The parade
started at eleven near a
park. There were bag
pipers, beer trucks,
Irish step dancers,
charities, city officials,
and other people. The
parade did indeed last
about an hour.
Afterward.
found my good friends
who missed most of the
parade because they
said they were celebrat-ing
St.Urho, the patron
saint of Finland who
chased out all the grass-hoppers,
the night be-fore.
(Checking sources:
St. Urho isn't really a
saint, but a folklore that
was created in the
United States around the
mid 1900's.)
I decided to get
some food, and I found
out that one of the ven-dors
was selling this
awesome corn beef,
cabbage, and potato
dog. It was excellent.
People were selling t-shirts,
food, jams, and
beads which could be
used for the same pur-pose
as for Mardi Gras.
People every-where
though were
drinking beer, and about
every ten minutes, a
cheer would go up. and
it would travel around
with everybody joining
in.
The day kept go-ing
and not much else
changed, except that the
families were taking
their kids homes. The
police started to show
up on the streets at
around 6 p.m., as they
knew most people
wouldn't be getting too
drunk until then. They
kept the crowd of col-lege
kids and adults to
a four block area where
all the main bars are lo-cated.
I've heard people
saying that the cops
don't do enough to stop
the underage drinking,
but I would like to
know how you would
try to stop thousands of
underage drinkers.
Good luck! You would
probably start a riot.
The cops for the most
part were friendly and
were there to stop
fights, direct traffic, and
to help people that got
too drunk. Nighttime
came about, and every-body
was in good spir-its.
People would go up
to strangers and just
start chatting with them.
There wasn't really any
chaos; everybody was
being decent and re-spectable
to each other.
People were just drink-ing
and having good
times with their friends.
The cops . started
to remove people from
the streets around mid-night.
They were
watching the roads, as
well. as I saw lots of
people getting pulled
over. Nobody should
be driving after attend-ing
St. Patrick's Day.
St. Patrick's Day
seemed to end well, as
my friends and I all
agreed we had a good
time. We were glad that
we had survived and
that we had a hotel
room.
ASMSU Billings Student Legal Services
It is nearing the end of the semester and school year; a time
when a "rush" to complete tasks seems to hit many people. For those
of you, who have put off seeking legal advice, please note that certain
legal matters cannot be undertaken before the end of the semester
and others will be restricted due to limited resources, as follows;
- Name change: no new cases this semester
• Family Law, all types: advice only, after April 2
-Wills, Living Wills: make appointments by April 16
• All other: check with the office
The attorney, Judy Williams, sees students by appointment only.
She is generally available Monday through Thursday, 8:00a.m. to
noon plus Monday and Tuesday from 1:00 p.m. — 3:00 p.m.
Call 657-2365 for an appointment.
THE RETORT• PAGE 7
Dr. Mark Hardt is Associate Professor of Sociology at MSU-Billings. Photo by Mike
Schrage
Q: "Hey, Guys, Why'd You Get Those Tattoo?"
A: I'm a quarter Irish. I wanted to
get something that was traditonal,
but also something modern and
tribal, so this is what I got."
A: "It's a M. C. Escher drawing,
but it has important symoblic
meaning to me. But you have to
know me better to understand."
A: "My friend and I decided that we
wanted to get some tattoos, and I
thought this design looked cool."
A: "It's the Chinese symbol for
"dream," so it reminds me that I will
always have a dream."
Bryan Kapor Harrison Richardson
Michael Kelsey Ryan Petropoulos Age: 20 Age: 21
Age: 19 Age: 19 Major: Physical Therapy Major: Psychology
Major: Secondary Education Major: General Education Hometown: Bridger, Montana Hometown: Colstrip, Montana
Hometown: Malta, Montana Hometown: Albuqurque, New Mexico
Professor Profile: Dr. Mark Hardt
Mike Schrage
The Retort
1) Briefly describe your edu-cational
background.
I did my undergraduate work
at Mankato State University
(now known as Minnesota State
University), and my graduate
work at the University of Con-necticut.
2) I'm going to have to ask
you to reveal an obscure fact
about yourself.
You obviously have never seen
my gargoyle collection. If you
want to get really obscure, I was
a founding member of The
Black Bunnies Enough said.
3) As a student, what was the
worst educational advice you
were ever given?
I once had a high school coun-selor
tell me to never consider
going to college, because I
would never make it. His words
actually helped me get through
the tough times.
4) You have a rubber mallet,
a stuffed badger and a rou-lette
wheel. It's Friday night,
and you find yourself hand-cuffed
to Daniel Day Lewis.
What do you do?
Forget about the mallet, the bad-ger,
and the roulette wheel. I
want to hear him talk about how
he brought to life all of his roles,
from "My Left Foot" to "Gangs
of New York."
5) What's your big-gest
gripe when it
comes to students?
I have never been
able to comprehend
those who want to
get through their col-lege
career quickly
and get it over with.
This is a wonderful
time of life to expe-rience,
enjoy, and
recollect.
6) What was the
best lie you've ever
told about your-self?
I once worked for
the Census Bureau.
There was an Afri-can
American
woman in the build-ing
with the same
last name. We
would introduce our-selves
to people as
cousins.
7) What was the most useless
college course you were
forced to take?
I can't think of a useless college
course I took. They all contrib-uted
to the maelstrom of knowl-edge
that is my intellect.
8) What are in your pockets
right now?
I jingle when I walk, because
of the dollar coins that I keep.
9) I currently have seven dol-lars
in loose change, an arcade
token, and a tube of
chapstick. Do you have any
sound business advice to turn
my meager holdings into a
vast fortune so I can
crush my enemies?
You've seen the
caveman in the com-mercial?
Find out
who his therapist is.
10) Favorite quote?
yuaerendo
Invenietis"
11) When, in your
professional opin-ion;
did society ma-neuver
into the
nosedive we are in
today?
I do not accept the
contention that soci-ety
has broken
down, but if you do
accept, it then you
have to conclude
that society has al-ways
been in a
nosedive. It is called
'evolving.'
PAGE 8•THE RETORT
Welcome to Fallin Rock National Park
'I've crecite4
mcidellne it- metisures
\oW ccni
ty\qaliAe melsu re
be au' '
Two Dudes by Aaron Warner
I MOW, I7Uri. ON MINUTE
NOTHIN6, AND NOW I'M 5771.1-
NOTHING, SUT I YAW SOWTMG.
%AA 44, • gir
Send your anonymous questions to
Gabby and she'll help you out with
love, life, and whatever.
Send questions to:
sweetfingel_1005@hotmail.com
Ail names and e-mail addresses will be kept confidential.
This is for use only by The Retort, and Gabby should not
be considered a professional.
AND I DON'T TAM A
TR-MIAPKFTRP
THAT ilAg TO TALK TO YOU,
BUT A PEN- 1-IFF
CARLPRIW.
0
3
"You were all I wanted in a. man, Fabrice, until
I realized your name is so girly, I could gag."
"I was using my iPod and iPhone around
some poor people today, when I was
suddenly stricken with iGuilt."
THE RETORT.) PAGE 9
Will Wurk 4 Food... or beer... or a new turtineck.
&raping the Barrel
Student Seeks Meaningful (Un)Employment
Mike Schrage
The Retort
On further reflection, telling my
boss Which orifice to insert his tongue
into wasn't such a great idea, even
though. I thought highly of the concept
at the time. I have since determined it
was not such a swell idea because he
summarily fired me, effective immedi-ately.
Soinewhere between being
menially employed and sticking it to the
man, my thoroughly planned act of
defiance backfired in the worst way.
I'm not going to apologize,
because he initiated it and quite frankly,
he dgserved it. And I scoff and roll my
eyes at the idiotic notion that my getting
fired was some kind of karmic retalia-tion
for my recent transgressions
against Bambi, regardless of what some
will imply. In fact, I might hunt down
Thumper and Free Willy for the sheer
hell of it, just because I seem to have a
lot of time on my hands these days. I
hear whale hide makes great upholstery
after all, and rabbit.fur vests are all the
rage these days. If only a pair of spotted
owls or baby penguins would wander
into the road... .
I figured the best way to deal
with the pressing issue of unemploy-ment
was to handle it the way I handle
pretty much every obstacle life throws
in my path. Ignore it and play paintball,
of course. But alas, a couple thousand
paintballs and half dozen welts later, I
still was still no closer to a steady
paycheck, and going home and inhaling
dry erase markers and watching
"Laverne and Shirley" obviously
wasn't the answer. either. no matter
how badly I wanted it to be.
This means that now I have to
look for a new job, one that either sucks
less than or equal to the crappy
employment I previously held. While
my old job was unofficially titled as
"warehouse drone," it did have its
perks. The difficult thing now is going
to secure employment where gluing ink
pens to someone's desk and chasing my
roommate around with a forklift was
commonplace and accepted, albeit
grudgingly.
I always hated the job hunt,
mainly because the things I'm quali-fied
to do, nobody would pay me to do
them anyway. I suppose I could always
re-join the Army, but if I hated a job
where I was constantly told to tuck in
my shirt and refrain from using
obscenities around the data-entry
ladies, no way am I going to be able to
handle some beret-wearing, chevron-sporting
jackass with a bad haircut and
little brain spitting and screaming at
me for scuffed boots and a crooked gig
line. Hell, that and the 5 a.m. runs in
the sleet are why I bid Uncle Sam a
fond adieu to begin with! Maybe I
could return to the Middle East as a
civilian contractor for the U.S.
military, but two years in various
blazing hot and volatile hellholes was
quite enough, thank you very much. If
I never hear the whistling of a de-scending
mortar again, I'm pretty sure
I can handle working in a job I hate.
Maybe I should just firmly plant
my ass on the bench and sit the next
few plays out. I could write the next
great American novel about a man and
his relationship with an omnipotent,
crime-solving, counter-terrorism squad
of howler monkeys. sort of like
Curious George meets "24." Or I could
promote my own brand of "Diet
Anarchy" and go to the library with a
Sharpie and black out all the refer-ences
to Ireland in all the books and
then refuse to even acknowledge that it
even exists? Or perhaps I'll just stay
unemployed and sit at home and
subject myself to a Pauly
Shore movie marathon
until my brain implodes
and starts leaking out my
nose halfway through
"Jury Duty." There is
always the option that I
could organize and
promote underground
Foxy Boxing cards in the
Student Union after
hours, while continually
foiling the hapless
authority figures who
attempt to thwart me.
Then again, I could
always take the hehn of
the Retort following the
upcoming regime
change, but I'd no sooner
do that than I would take
command of the Titanic
while everybody else is scrambling for
the lifeboats. Women and children first,
my ass.
Nah, that's all wishful thinking. I
just need to sit down with a piping hot
mug of reality and realize that like most
Americans, I'm probably going to hate
my job, unless it involves fighting
hobos, porn stars and a camera with a
great zoom lens. I'm sure I'll find a job
somewhere, some time. If you see a
disheveled, confused street vagrant
holding a sign reading "WILL WURK
4 FOOD," keep in mind two things: I'm
a horrible speller, and please be
generous. It's either that, or I rip off the
Shriners.
Yep. It's Official. That's Effing Annoying!
o
Steven Pittenger
The Retort
Over the last few
months I have become a
reliable and regular
contributor to this Voice
section, but recently I
realized that I have yet
to really let loose and
write about the things I
really feel passionate
about. So without
further adieu, here is a
list of the top ten things
I'm bored with, tired of,
or pissed at-in no
particular order.
1. Popped collars.
This desperate
cry for attention is not
only ridiculous in
appearance, but also in
practice. If I had my
way I would carry a pair
of scissors around with
me and every popped
collar I saw would be
promptly and
uncerimoniusly re-moved.
In short, unless
your working the
runway in Milan, keep
that collar down!
2. Grown men I don't
know calling me
"buddy."
I don't know you.
I don't wanna know
you, and even if I did, I
most certainly would
not be your "buddy".
Don't talk to me like
you've known me all
your life or like you
have a chance of
befriending me based
on your stupid "friendly
greeting."
3. Reality TV.
I had hoped that
this was simply a trend
that would die out after
the first season of
"Survivor," but alas I
was wrong. What irks
me is that there is
nothing "real" about
reality TV. Don't believe
me? Ask any of your
friends how often
they've had to eat bugs
on some remote island
near Borneo for a chance
to win a million dollars.
4. Stupid arguments
about gay marriage.
Honestly I'm so
sick of this issue I could
puke. If you don't like
same sex marriage, don't
marry someone of your
same sex. Problem
solved. Everyone wins.
5. All you can eat
buffets.
I have been
dragged to these things
on occasion and I must
tell you the concept
sickens me. Why must
we insist on stuffing
ourselves until we have
to waddle out of the
restaurant in question? If
you can afford the $12
for the buffet you most
likely don't have to
worry about a major food
shortage anytime soon,
so stop stocking up and
eating like a starving
Ethiopian orphan.
6. "Honest" people.
I don't mean really
honest people. I'm
talking about people who
feel the need to be harsh
and critical of anything
they dislike and then
claim "they're just being
honest." You can be
honest without being a
tool about it. Don't use
honesty to justify your
poor behavior.
7. Backwards hats.
Unless you're ten
or younger this look has
got to go. You look
ridiculous.
8. Cost of tuition.
It's out of control.
Based on what I pay, and
what I know the average
professor gets paid, there
is a serious mathematical
gap. I, for one, refuse to
believe that the remain-ing
difference goes
toward operational costs.
9. Porn.
I don't think
there's anything wrong
with it as a form of free
speech, but the fact that
the industry grosses
nearly $10 billion a year
reflects a serious lack of
priorities. Think about it,
if we cut back our porn
consumption by half,
what could we accom-plish
with the extra five
billion?
10. Annoying laughs.
We all know that
person who has that
laugh that makes you
want to hit them with the
nearest blunt object.
These people should be
informed of their high
level of annoyance so the
rest of us don't have to
listen to them.
PAGE IOITHE RETORT
At the Babcock Theater
Season starts
September 28, 2006
Live fighting every
Thursday night through
March 29, 2007
Waited Weekly. lasieling Coil
itudomits. Mei a Women, 1O-39. No
needed. •ghsi by wailla and expodene.
11125 Its Nib - SEM to lose
We$gh-1n5 every Wednesday at
The Western Wheel, 6:30 pm sharp
For Info call Mike 861-0528, or Ric 672-5677
Art Should be Appreciated, Not Criticized
I will admit it: I do read
The Retort. For four years
now, nothing has offended
me, until this last issue. I was
shocked at not just the
wording of the headline, but
also by the implications and
lack of information in the
article "Shitting is Art?"
I understand that The
Retort is understaffed. Many
of you fill positions for which
you have little experience.
But there is no excuse to
degrade.the work of a
talented artist, who not only
offered his work to be
displayed in our university,
but also volunteered his time
to give a lecture and a painting
demonstration during the day
of his show's opening.
Why was there no
mention that Mr. Rollin
Beamish is a professor at
MSU-Bozeman and Mr.
Andrew Schell a teacher at
MSU-Billings? Why was
there no mention that Mr.
Beamish is a world traveler,
studied extensively in Athens,
earned his masters, is a
Fulbright Scholar, an indepen-dent
artist, recognized for his
work in many different art
circles, and is not even 30
years old? While Mr. Schell,
although new to this school, is
teaching many different
classes, is highly respected by
his students, and an accom-plished
artist in his own
rights?
Was this entire gallery
show judged by one image
isolated from its context? The
article, coupled with the title,
suggests that the meaning of
the show can be reduced to an
unidentified creature and his
natural bodily functions. Was
this really all the author gained
from her experience? The
artist's intention of suspending
reality and questioning
reaction was mentioned in the
article. But there was no
mention of the work's effec-tiveness.
If the writer's
intention was to cause the
audience to read her article,
then she was highly effective,
but if her intention was to
offer an interpretation,
explanation, or even a review
of the work, she failed
completely. Instead, we
received an uninformed
judgment we did not need or
want.
MSU-Billings has a
small art program, but the
students involved are very
passionate about their classes,
the opportunities granted by
the school, and their art. We
are always thrilled to have new
artists and shows in the
Northcutt Steele Gallery. We
rarely have the opportunity to
interact so closely with a
successful and established
artist and I am ashamed that
this is how we showed our
appreciation of Mr. Beamish
and Mr. Schell's contributions
to our school.
Ann Stroebe
Student
Clarification: There is No Pornography in the Library
The February 27 issue of "The
Retort" contained a terribly misleading
and asinine article about the sex-related
books in the MSU-B Library, which I
feel needs redress. The article was
intolerably misleading from its very
first line, where the author, Heather
Vandever, asks if anyone has "noticed
the extremely large pornography
section in the basement of the library."
This could simply not be a more false
statement, as there is absolutely 100
percent no pornography on the shelves
in the library. Opening the article with
such a bogus proclamation really shows
the bias of the author, which seems in
keeping with the rest of the article.
The dictionary definition of the
word pornography is "sexually explicit
pictures, writing, or other material
whose primary purpose is to cause
sexual arousal." The purpose of the
sexuality books on the library's first
floor is knowledge. These books allow
the students of MSU-B the opportunity
to better understand their own bodies,
emotions, and lives—if they want to.
No one is forced to check out any of
these books. However, if someone
wants to understand changes in their
bodies or emotions they should be able
to. This is just the same as if someone
wanted to understand their computer
better, so they went to the computer/
technology section to find a helpful
book. Yet, no one is complaining about
our selection of those books.
The sex-related books which
Vandever seems so offended by are
actually scholarly, academic works.
They contain many scientific studies on
the subject of human reproduction and
sexuality. They also contain scholarly
works about homosexuality, sex
education, sexual deviance, marriage,
homophobia, and dozens of other
topics. These topics are important to
our existence as they help us under-stand
ourselves and each other more
completely. Sexual reproduction is a
part of life whether we like it or not. I
wouldn't be here writing this if it
weren't for sex, nor would you be
reading it. Without sex, only asexual
creatures like amoebas would live on
earth, yet, as we know, the planet is
populated by billions of creatures of all
sorts. Sex is a necessary part of life and
better understanding it may lead to
increases in healthy relationships,
greater communication between
partners, and lower instances of STDs.
At the same time, it may also cause a
reduction in rape, incest, child abuse,
general violence, and so on.
The bottom line, however, is that
the books in question are scholarly
works, not pornography in any way.
They are full of charts, graphs, and text
with few to no pictures. They are far
closer to the dry end of the literary
spectrum than the tantalizing end. In
fact, anyone looking for porn would be
far better off trying to sneak a peek on
one of the computers and hoping they
don't get caught...which usually they
do. However, that doesn't mean we
should remove all computers from the
library, either.
Vandever's article also seems to
have strong implications that the
placement of the books in the bottom
corner of the library' is somehow
deliberate. It appears that Vandever is
alluding that the sexuality books were
placed near the bathroom for some
masturbatory convenience. This
argument is laughable to anyone
familiar with the Library of Congress
system and our library. [These books]
just happen to be in that location
because of the size of our library aid
the Library of Congress arrangement
system. It is not strategic.
Another concern expressed in
Vandever's article is that children could
get their hands on these sex-related
books. This argument leaves me with a
number of questions. What are these
children doing wandering about the
library without supervision? Where are
their parents while they are ransacking
the shelves? More importantly, what is
the alternative to having these books
out on the shelf like all the other books?
Should the library have to hide away
books dealing with this basic part of life
like it is a dirty secret? If so, what's the
next in line to be locked away?
Different religions? Cloning books?
Books with anti-American sentiment?
Writings about evolution? It seems
we're leaning toward censorship here.
I was under the impression that
this was a college library for college
students. As college students, one
would think that we are old enough to
handle the matter of sex tastefully and
maturely. Judging from Vandever's
article, though, maybe I am giving all
college students a little too much credit.
I have a suggestion: maybe we should
stop giggling like eight-year-olds at the
word sex and take a serious, academic
look at what is contained in those
books.
Thank you,
Bethany Dopp
Student
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THE RETORT' PAGE 11
Who'd have thought that Haggard would relapse so
courtesy of starbulletin.com
quickly after finishing Gay rehab? Photo
Wyley's Hip or Dangerous
A Breakdown of Today's Pop Culture
Wyley Chick
The Retort
Politics
Al Gore goes to Washington Al Gore
went to Washington to outline the prob-lems
the world faces from Global Warm-ing.
He warned Congress and asked for
.them to do more to fight Global Warm-ing.
Now. if only we can get him to run
for President! Also. don't believe the
Right-Wing hype that has been in the
corporate media lately bashing Gore.
They're just upset that his film won an
Oscar. Hip or dangerous? HIP!
State Republicans have absolutely lost
this session State Republicans have
compleltv lost this session. Now I have
always thought Republicans were kinda
werid, like the lights aren't completely on,
but this is the nail in the colfm. State Re-publicans
have accused Schweitzer's
budget bill of being Stalinistic and
Nixonesque. These people have com-pared
our Governor to Stalin and Presi-dent
Nixon! What? A mass murder and a
guy who tried to dismantle the U.S. con-stitution.
I bet their advisor is Mann
Coulter. Hip or dangerous? Dangerous!
Ed butcher Loses it, again Ed Butcher.
a Republican Representative from
Winifred. has implied the Indians of
Montana are illiterate. His potentially rac-ists
beliefs are probably why he doesn't
want to increase spending on Indian Edu-cation
this session. Hip or dangerous?
DANGEROUS!
Peter Pace Peter Pace, the head of the
Joint Chiefs of Staff, has called homo-sexuality
immoral. Well, Peter, you're
ugly, and you more than likely have an
ugly wife and ugly kids, who are going
to marry other ugly people. Hip or dan-gerous?
Dangerous!
Israel A U.N. expert has said that Israel
has turned Gaza into a prison. Meanwhile
the world continues to turn its head away
from Israel's apartheid practices. Hip or
dangerous? ISRAEL IS DANGEROUS!
Gringo Go Home Hugo Chavez told the
gringo. Mr. Bush to go back home when
he went on his tour of South America.
Actually Hugo. you can have him we
don't want Bush either. Hip or danger-ous?
HIP!
Purge Lets see another scandal from the
White House. It's starting to get hard to
keep up with all the bullshit this Admin-istration
keeps throwing out. This time
Bush has fired U.S. attorneys apparently
for not being Republican enough. Hip or
dangerous? Dangerous!
Darfur Darfur is in need of immediate
attention. Thing were looking up towards
the end of 2006, but now things have gone
South. It needs immediate U.N. troops
in the area. Call Max Baucus and Jon
Tester and ask them to act now. See
savedarfur.org for more details. Hip or
dangerous? Dangerous!
Bush "resurgeification?" Bush has
resurged the surge. Approximately 7.000
more troops will be sent into the abyss
that is known as Iraq. Hip or dangerous?
Dangerous!
Iraq refugees Nearly FOUR MILLION
Iraqis have either been externally or in-ternally
displaced in Iraq. We have com-pletely
decimated that country. The
middle class of Iraq has been wiped out.
Hip or dangerous? Dangerous!
Valrie Plame Alright, this pisses me off.
People. i.e. President Bush. Karl Rove.
and Dick the robot-. Cheney, can not
accuse me of being tmAmerican, traitor.
helper of Osama Bin Laden, or a threat
to national security. Why? Because they
are the ones who are traitors! They are
the ones helping the terrorists! You can
not accuse people of being traitors to this
country and then turn around and out your
own CIA AGENTS THAT ARE RISK-ING
THEIR LIVES FOR THIS COUN-TRY.
Valerie Plame testified this month
and CONFIRMED SHE WAS COVERT
when she was working for the CIA Hip or
darigeroirs? HIP!
Yes, Sir, I'd Like Another! Subpoena
that is! Sen. Patrick Leahy issued sub-poenas
for certain Bush officials this
month, most importantly Karl Rove and
"Torture Boy" Gonzales Woot! Hip or
dangerous? HIP!
Glenn Beck The Beckster called Hillar_y
Clinton a bitch. Yeah, well, you're a bitch.
Hip or dangerous? BITCH!
Halliburton and UAE are BFF The
former company headed by Dick "Robot"
Cheney is officially best friends forever
with the country of United Arab Emirates.
This is a company that says it is for the
U.S. and one that "Robot" Cheney calls a
good company. Yeah right, fleeing to avoid
law and taxes, yeah where's the ethics in
that? Hip or dangerous? Dangerous!
Religion
God 'Me I am seriously not joking this
is true. Christian Supremacists have made
their own version of YouTube, appropri-ately
called GodTube. This is just another
attempt of Christian Supremacists trying
to divide this country. They are trying to
create an us vs. them U.S. society, except
when it comes to public education. Hip
or dangerous? Dangerous!
Conservepedia To follow up with
GodTube, Christian Supremacists have
came up with their own version of
WikiPedia. Not Joking again. Here is
where they promote their own reality and
history. Claiming the Earth is 6,000 years
old and stuff like that. Hip or dangerous?
Dangerous!
Albert Mohler: STONE COLD
EFFING NUTS Rev. R. Albert Mohler
Jr.. president of the Southern Baptist
Theological Seminary in Louisville. Ky.
has claimed that Christians should sup-port
medical testing on fetuses in order
to cure babies of homosexuality in the
future. If there is anything I have learned
as being an Atheist, is that just when you
thought religious people can't get any
more delusional, they do! Mohler has
suggested that there might be a gay gene
and you could then switch a homosexual
baby into a hetrosexual one. Hip or dan-gerous?
Dangerous!
Haggard Completely Straight. Not! A
couple of weeks ago I told you that the
Christian Supremacist, Ted Haggard was
announced to be completely straight.
This announcement came after a intense
counseling session after he got caught
with a homosexual prostitute doing
meth. Anyway, I guess Ted isn't com-pletely
straight because after his an-nouncement
that he was completely
straight, a lot more people allegedly
came fonvard with their stories of, let's
just say, "encounters" with Mr. Haggard.
Hip or dangerous? DANGEROUS!
Celebrity
Britney Out of Rehab What did you
guys think of "Crazy Britney?" I think I
like her more than "I'm married to Kevin
Federline" Britney. Hip or dangerous?
HIP!
Jesse Metcalf goes to Refaboulose, I
mean rehab The hottness that we know
as Jesse Metcalf from Desperate House-wives
has gone to rehab. Britney's gone;
Jesse's in. Hip or dangerous? Danger-ous!
Reads
BOMB SCARE The new book by Jo-seph
Cicercone. of Center for American
Progress, is a must read! Hip or danger-ous?
HIP!
Music
Panda Bear The music we know and
love. Panda Bear that is, has released
their new album Person Pitch. Highly
recommended and their second single A
7- is due out in June. Hip or danger-oils?
HIP!
Nickleback I didn't go. I'll never go.
There is nothing more disturbing than
the noise that is known as Nickleback,
except for turtlenecks. Hip or danger-ous?
Dangerous!
Grab Bag
The Sopranos The Sopranos final epi-sodes
have started this month!!! Woot!
I have my Tivo set. do you? Hip
or dangerous? HIP!
Save the Whales Some coun-tries
are refusing to listen to the
facts about whale research re-garding
over-fishing and sonar
usage in the oceans. Japan rou-tinely
refuses to recognize the
moratorium on whaling and the
U.S. Navy routinely uses deep
underwater sonar that is said to
damage the whales' hearing. Its
time to save the whales again,
damn it! Hip or dangerous?
HIP!
Grizly Bears: "I'm sorry your
not on the list..." The Grizzly
Bear has been taken off the En-dangered
Species list without
sufficient evidence. this may
lead to the bear suffering dam-aging
progress and future assis-tance
in the near future rather than lat-ter.
Hip or dangerous? Dangerous!
Saint Patty's Day Saint Patty's was a
blast did you have a blast? Hip or dan-ge•
ous? HIP!
300 I saw the movie. I liked it, it was
alright. I could help but laugh at the sub-liminal
political messages though. Hip
or dangerous? DANGEROUSLY HIP!
New Nikon COOLPIXP5000 The new
10 mega pixel point and shoot camera
has finally been shipped to sellerates. Is
this the new camera to put Nikon back
on the map? Hip or dangerous? HIP!
ASMSU-B ELECTION Did you vote?
Did I vote? Does anyone care? Hip or
dangerous? Dangerous!
PAGE 12•THE RETORT
Harry (Mike) Harkins , shown on right, accepts the title of Montana
Collegiate Conference Champions on behalf of a proud
Yellowjacket basketball team in 1963. Photo from The Retort
archives.
POLICE
PROTECTIVE
Assocumose
4)04.111Z4V!::+e, t51, ,,,
The performance of lefthanded starting pitcher Ben Lewerke is one reason why Yellowjacket
baseball is much improved this season. Photo courtesy of MSU-Billings Athletics
YELLOWJACKET 4iTh sAk LETICS
Former Jacket Coach Harkins Now a Hall of Famer
Jed Barton
The Retort
Former Eastern Montana
College (MSU-Billings)
Yellowjacket men's basketball
coach Mike Harkins has been
inducted as a member of the
National Association of Inter-collegiate
Athletics (NAIA)
Hall of Fame In awarding him
this honor. the NAIA recog-nized
Harkins not only for his
achievements at EMC, but aslo
for This dedication to and
knowledge of the game of bas-kkeettbbaallll,,
which are second to
none." The honor was be-stowed
upon Harkins just prior
to the NAIA men's basketball
national championship game
on March 13.
Harkins coached the
Yellowjackets from 1960 to
1977. coaching in 448 games.
He won a school-record 290 of
those games for a 64.7 percent
winning percentage. Even
more impressive is the confer-ence
record of Harkins's
teams. In winning 12 Confer-ence
Championships, EMC
posted a 154-29 conference
mark for an incredible confer-ence
winning percentage of
84.2.
In 1960, Harkins took
over a team that had won just
12 games the previous season.
He turned the Yellowjackets
into instant winners, going 16-
5 in the 1960-61 season and
placing second in the Montana
Collegiate Conference with a
7-3 conference mark. That
first season was merely a hint
of what was to come for EMC
fans over the next 15 seasons.
The 1961-1962 season
saw Harkins guide The
Yellowjacket basketball team
to its first conference champi-onship
in school history, when
the team captured the Montana
Collegiate Conference (MCC)
title. That championship sig-naled
a new era for the
Harkins-led Yellowjackets.
They followed the school's
first-ever championship with
conference titles in 1962-63,
1963-64, 1964-65, 1966-67,
1967-68, 1969-70, 1970-71,
1971-72, 1972-73, 1974-75.
and 1975-76.
After winning the MCC
championship in 1963-64,
EMC went on to win the Dis-trict
#5 title and advance to the
NAIA National Tournament in
Kansas City where they lost to
eventual national champion
Rockhurst. Harkins would
lead the Yellowjackets to the
NAIA District Championship
and the NAIA National Tour-nament
a total of 10 times in
his career.
In 1964-65, EMC won its
second-straight NAIA District
#.5 championship and ad-vanced
to the National Tourna-ment
for the second year in a
row. The Yellowjackets de-feated
Central Washington in
the first round for their first
National Tournament victory.
For his turnaround of the
Yelloifsjacket program and the
team's dominance during his
tenure. Harkins was named the
conference Coach of the Year
a total of eight times. In his
final season with EMC. 1976-
1977. Harkins won his twelfth
conference championship, ad-vanced
to his tenth NAIA Na-tional
Tournament, and was a
finalist for the National Coach
of the Year.
Following his retirement
from the Yellowjacket bench,
Harkins continued making -a
name himself nationally as a
basketball writer. Harkins
wrote 18 books on basketball
and authored 50 magazine ar-ticles.
Among the many inno-vations
to the game to which he
is credited is the development
of the "Monster Zone" defense,
a slightly modified version of
the zone defense, which pro-pelled
Jerry Tarkanian's UNLV
Runnin'Rebels to the 1990
NCAA Division I national
championship.
In addition to being a
member of the NAIA Hall of
Fame, Harkins is also a mem-ber
of the EMC/MSU-B athlet-ics
Hall of Fame and a Profes-sor
Emeritus of Physical Edu-cation
and Health. In 2006 a
bronze bust of Harkins was
placed in the lobby outside of
Alterowitz Gym.
Jacket Baseball Reaches .500 for the First Time
Jed Barton
The Retort
The MSU-Billings Yellowjacket
Baseball team (13-13. 6-10 1-11C) has
reached an important milestone on the
road to becoming a competitive pro-gram,
as for the first time since baseball
came to MSU-B last year, the Jackets
have a record that is at or above the .500
mark. MSU-B climbed to the break even
point by virtue of going 10-2 on a re-cent
road trip. This trip included a pro-gram
best of eight wins in a row. "The
biggest thing we took away from this trip
is that we learned how to win," said head
coach Chris Brown, "Once you know
how to win, you find ways to win. Now
we are .500. and that is huge."
Yellowjacket pitching continues to
get better: during the recent bout of suc-cess
the MSU-B staff lowered the team
E.R.A a little more than half a run, from
5.97 to 5.45, and starters Ben Lewerke
and Brian Strom each posted two wins,
including a complete game shutout for
Strom against Oklahoma Panhandle.
The biggest improvement on the mound
for the Jackets, however, has been in
the emergence of a true closer in sopho-more
right-hander Mike Cease, who
came out of the bullpen to appear in
seven games. Cease has chalked up a
1-1 record with five saves and a .000
E.R.A in eight and two-thirds innings
pitched. Cease's three saves and one
victory in relief during the sweeps of
Oklahoma Panhandle and Texas-Per-mian
Basin were good enough to earn
him Heartland Conference pitcher of
the week honors for the week of March
5-11.
On offense, MSU-B finally got a
monkey off their back. In a game against
OPSU on March 9, Doug Longfellow,
Willie Critalc, and Patrick Smith each
homered to give the Jackets their first
three, and so far only, long balls of the
season. Overall. though 26 games,
MSU-B has scored 117 runs while bat-ting
.256, while drawing 18 walks for a
.345 on-base percentage. "Our approach
to the plate is better," said Brown of the
Jackets' improved offense. "We're a lot
more disciplined. We're working
counts. Last year we watched a lot of
first pitch fastballs right down the shoot,
and we got down in the count. We're
not watching those this year. The big-gest
difference is we're getting hits with
two strikes and producing runs with two
outs. We didn't do that last year. Hits
and good at bats are contagious."
MSU-B will look to continue their
winning ways as they continue with their
month-long homestand over the next
couple of weeks. Upcoming games will
be Texas A&M-International and Lin-coln
University. The Dustdevils visit
Cobb Field for four non-conference
games April 4-6. Game time on Wednes-day
will be 7:30 p.m. On Thursday the
two teams will play a doubleheader with
game one beginning at 2:00 p.m., while
Friday's series finale will be an _11:00
a.m. start. The following weekend, April
13-14, the Jackets return to Heartland
Conference play as the LU Blue Tigers
make the trek up from Jefferson City.
Missouri for two straight doubleheaders,
action begins both days at 2:00 p.m.
THE ftETORT• PAGE 13
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Junior Jessica Frank is a key component of a Lady Yellowjacket offense that is tops in
the Heartland Conference with a .279 batting average. Photo courtesy of MSU-Billings
Athletids
MSU-B Softball Recovers
from Slow Start
Jed Barton
The Retort
Following a disap-pointing
9-13 start to the
season.. which included
dropping both ends of
the home opener
doubleheader to the
University of Mary (a
first in program his-tory),
the MSU-Billings
Lady Yellowjacket soft-ball
team has re-bounded2winning
six of
seven Heartland Confer-ence
games to pull
within a half game of
Conference leader St.
Edwards. "We have
grown as a team since
the season started." said
head coach Kim
Lemmens, Our im-proved
play shows that
growth."
The highlight so
far for MSU-B has been
the hitting. Although not
as proflific as some re-cent
years, the Lady
Jackets have managed
to rise to the top of the
Heartland Conference.
knocking out a .279 av-erage
with 135 runs
scored and seven home
runs. Leading the way
has been sophomore
Terina Stacks with a .384
average, five home runs,
and 23 RBI's. The only
Achilles heel for the
Lady Jackets at the plate
has been their perfor-mance
with runners on
base. MSU-B has so far
left 199 runners on base,
including four games
where they stranded 10 or
more. "We have certainly
given ourselves opportu-nities
to score runs with
our hitting. It is just a
matter of taking advan-tage
by not leaving run-ners
on the base paths,"
said Lemmens.
The pitching staff,
meanwhile, has begun
coming around from an
early season slump, drop-ping
the team ERA from
above 6.00 to 4.83 in the
last two weeks. Still.
Lemmens is concerned
about the number of
walks (108) allowed by
the Jacket pitchers, as
well as the number of
fielding errors (48) com-mitted
by the defense.
"Our pitchers and de-fense
are physically
sound; they go out there
and give it their all," she
said. "Most of problems
seem to be mental. We
get behind in a count or
allow a runner on base
and it rattles us, to the
point where the mistakes
pile up. and it becomes
difficult to get out of a
jam. But we are working
on it, and slowly but
surely we are improv-ing."
After beginning
the year with all but two
of their first 37 games
away from the friendly
confines of Cenex Sta-dium,
MSU-B will play
14 of their last 20 regu-lar
season games at
home during the month
of April. This includes
Heartland Conference
series against St. Mary's
(April 5-6) and Incar-nate
Word (April 13-
14), as well as non-con-ference
meetings with
Texas-Permian Basin
(March 31-April 1) and
the University of Great
Falls (April 22). "I was .
very impressed with the
crowd we had for the
one home date we have
had so far and hope
people will continue to
come out and support
the Lady Jackets as we
compete for a league
title," said Lemmens.
The Lady Jackets
will also hit the road two
more times when they
travel to Bismarck to
play the University of
Mary (April 10) and
Pocatello Idaho to take
on Division I Idaho
State (April 20-21). Fol-lowing
the completion
of the regular season.
MSU-B will travel to
San Antonio to partici-pate
in the Heartland
Conference tournament,
the winner of which will
receive the leaeue's au-tomatic
bid to the
NCAA Division II soft-ball
tournament.
PAGE 14•THE RETORT
The Intramural Scoreboard
Men's Basketball
Tournament
Tuesday, March 20
Top Ten 78,
Team Authoritah! 41
Luke's Team 76
Shocks 41
Edwood 62
Shake N Bake 13
Motorboats 60
O. E. 54
Wednesday, March 21
Gamecocks 68
Luke's Team 47
Wild Hog 103
Motorboats 53
Mullins From Deep 80
Top Ten 70
Edwood 43
Newbies 35
Women's
Basketball
Tournament
Wednesday, March 21
Necessary Roughness 33
Bobcats 22
Codi's Team 60
Hooters 36
Basketball brackets and other information about Rec Activities
is available online at www.msubillings.edu/recactivities.
ES Meet some of the
fabulous people
working for
Rec Activities!
Amy Benson
Hometown: Helena
Major: Business Marketing
Position: Front Desk
Favorite Sports: Volleyball. baseball,
basketball. and wrestling
"I'm so confused I don't know -
weather to scratch my watch or
wind my butt"
Nick Ottoy
Hometown: Miles City
Majors: HHF'-teaching option/Special -
Education
Position: Front Desk
Favorite Sports: Basketball and golf
"Don't sweat the small things"
Clockwise from bottom left (participants listed left to right):
Tyler Colton (92), Riley Burnham (12), and Chance McDowell (9); Bryce
Thomas (5), Chance McDowell, and Ryan Duncan (10); Robby Barnovsky,
Patrick Smart (86), Trent S. (57), Luke Barrett, and Bill Geary (99); Whitney
Sensever (39) and Danielle Musick (2); Charlie Johnson (80), Dylan Barnard
(87), Mack Andrews (61), Mike Gilbert, Rob Tedlund (17), and Vance
Vanlucheue (99); Vinny Castro, Robbie Barnovsky (13), Kyle Buckley (23),
and Luke Barrett.
Kyle Herman
Hometown: Billings
Mqjor: Health and Physical Education/
HHP
Favorite Sports : Football. basketball
"I seem to have a cramp in my leg
from battle, so I can't really kneel"
Ryan Petropoulos
Hometown: Albuquerque, New Mexico
Major: Nursing
Position: Lifeguard
Favorite Sport: Swimming
"I just kind of woke up here"
THE RETORT' PAGE 3
The Retort
Everyday, we encounter a world where
our industrial necessities have inbuilt them-selves
into nature. Streets are lined with trees
whose roots grow under sidewalks Our green
grasses our neatly separated by shiny chain
linked fences. MSU-B artist Jake Sorensen
explores this theme in his Senior Show, as he
attempts to merge natural and unnatural ele-ments.
"Throughout my life I have questioned
the juxtaposition of the disordered mass of ster-ile
industrial and organic objects we submerse
ourselves in and structure our lives around,"
Sorensen says in his artist statement.
This exhibit, entitled "Transformations,"
features two sculptures and ten pieces of wall
art. Sorensen says that the uniting factor
among the pieces is that they "all use at least
one element of industrial waste." In addition
to the scrap metaL all of the wall art is made of
encaustic. Encaustic is a form of wax paint-ing
in which a combination of beeswax, dam-mar
resin, and pigments are applied to a sur-face
to be shaped, carved and/or sculpted be-fore
it dries. Sorensen says that the medium
dates back over 2000 years and was popular-ized
in modernity through the works of Jasper
Johns The natural elements of the encaustic
represent the organic earth in contrast to the
industrial waste in the pieces. For emphasis,
Sorensen used warm orange, yellow, and red
pigments in the encaustic to contrast with the
cold metals. The encaustic and industrial waste
combine to form art which feels contradictory,
yet coadjuvant. •
One piece called "Scar" shows two en-caustic
surfaces bound together by rough metal
rings. "Sun Dial" includes a vertical metal arm
which is mounted toward the top and slightly
off-center of the piece. From there, concen-tric
circles in the encaustic radiate through the
artwork
The two sculptures continue the theme
presented in the wall art. "Ascending stack" -
is a spiraled wood structure in which the top
and bottom are bound in the middle by a piece
of metal. The bottom piece has smooth sides
with rectangular notches removed toward the
bottom.' The top piece is textured with thou-sands
of small horizontal carvings Equally
spaced metal rings protrude from opposing
sides and span the length of the sculpture. The
other sculpture, "Legend," appears to be made
entirely from metal. This piece features an
elongated pyramidal base which pierces a tu-bular
metal circle. From this doughnut shaped
piece, another flat half-circular piece with holes
is connected. Sorenson connects this sculpture
to rest of the collection by using warm oranges
on the base.
In constructing the collection, Sorensen
notes that his biggest obstacle was "making such
contrasting materials work together to make a
cohesive unit." Despite this challenge, he is
successful in creating an atmosphere in which
the audience feels discomforted by the raw :,
metal work while at the same time becalmed
by the natural components. In this show
Sorensen demonstrates his command of form
and balance, in which neither the industrial nor
the orpnic extreme overpowers the other.
"Transformations" is located in the stu-dent
•-
gallery next to the Northcutt Steele gal-lery
on the first floor of the LA Building. There
will be an artist reception for Jake Sorensen
from 6 to 8 p.m. on Wednesday, April 4 in the
gallery to which the public is invited to attend.

Click tabs to swap between content that is broken into logical sections.

These materials are primarly for scholarly and personal research. Their production is governed by the fair use clause of the copyright act. Prior to any commerical use written permission must be obtained from the MSU Billings Special Collections.

Student Donates Her Spring Break
Marissa Davila (center) strikes a pose with Paige Payton and a local man named Jose in front of a Habitat for Humanity house which
they were painting. Photo courtesy of Marissa Davila
Rory Jetmore
The Retort
An unknown author once wrote,
"it takes hands to build a house, but only
hearts can build a home." MSU-B stu-dent
Marissa Davila knows the impor-tance
of that quote. Over Spring Break
Davila, along with eight other MSU-B
students, fastened their carpenter tool
belts and boarded a plane for San Anto-nio
to help build eight houses with Habi-tat
for Humanity International. Davila
learned about the opportunity from the
Habitat for Humanity Billings affiliate
Mid-Yellowstone Valley. "I felt it was
important I go and use my Spring Break
to do something for others" Davila said.
Habitat for Humanity Mid-
Yellowstone Valley is a nonprofit, ecu-menical
Christian housing organization,
established in 1993 to offer local fami-lies
in need decent, affordable housing.
Since then, Habitat for Humanity Mid-
Yellowstone Valley has built 38 homes
in the Billings area. Volunteer Coordi-nator,
Debra Reiter said, "We build
houses in partnership with the families
in need. The houses are then sold to the
families at no profit and no interest
charge added." Habitat for Humanity
would not be able to last without gener-ous
donations from the Billings commu-nity.
There are over 60 corporate orga-nizations
as well as 12 churches in part-nership
with Habitat for Humanity Mid-
Yellowstone Valley. In order to gener-ate
more funds, the nonprofit organiza-tion
set up ReStore to sell donated used
and new building material. "It's like a
See HABITAT page 3
■•■••■■■••1110/....s.a...man.14114.
E6-3SINCE 1959
It is Indeed ironic that we
spend our school days
yearning to graduate and
our remaining days wax-ing
nostalgic about our
school days.
-Isabel Waxman 11
THE VOICE OF MONTANA STATE
Tuesday, April 4,2007
IVIIRSITY-BILLINGS
Volume 78, Issue 11
Letters to the
Editor
Page 11
SUB to Add
New Game
Room
Page 3
Fehlmann
Named as
Next Year's
President
Page 5
Students
Chat About
Their Tats
Page 8
New Marquee to Grace Rimrock Road
'Transformations"
on Dis
No
Page
Former
Jacket Coach
Entered into
Hall of Fame
Page 13
The new marque on Rimrock Road, which will feature the new MSU-B
logo, will look like this. Graphic courtesy of Eakle Barfield/Facility
Services
11111111111111
11111•111111•111111111 aimommume 1111111111141 .•
1111111111111' 1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111
NMI 11111111111111111
IMM11111111•11110111 111111111111111111111IIMII 11111111111111111
MIR
111111111111111111111/1/1111111111111 IMMO
cjAIL
BILLINGS
.4-7120.0
MONTANA
16 X 80
MATRIX
Steven Pittenger
The Retort
For those returning to cam-pus
this fall, or even planning on
sticking around for the summer,
a lot of changes are slated to take
place here at MSU-B. One of
the more prominent ones is a
new marquee to replace the
current one on Rimrock Road.
Unlike it's predecessor,
the new marquee will be com-pletely
digital. This means a
substantial increase in effi-cacy
for the Student Union
Building managers who cur-rently
change the sign by hand,
even iu the freezing cold. The
new marquee will also be
emblazened with the new offi-cial
MSU-B logo. which is
scheduled to completely replace
the old one on July 1.
ASMSU-B has been ac-tively
involved in this project,
committing $25,000 to match
funds from the Chancellor. Al-though
the exact date is yet to be
decided, officials plan to start
construction for the new marquee
later this spring. The project it-self
has been several years in-the-making
and has faced several ob-stacles,
including budgeting and
departmental politics. Neverthe-less,
the project has come to frui-tion.
Now students, organizations,
and community projects can have
their events posted with just a few
clicks of the mouse. Look for this
and many more positive changes
over the coming months. Hopefully
this is just a prectusor to geat things
to come.
Visit us online at msubillings.edu/retort
My Ultimate Penultimate 1500 University Drive SUB 225
Billings, Montana 59101
Business and Newsroom: 406-657-2194
Fax: 406-657-2191
E-mail: retort@imsubillings.edu
The Retort Staff
Editor-in-Chief
Dana Livermont
Faculty Advisor
Nancy Swanson
Copy Editor
Heather Vandever
A & E Editor
Mike Schrage
Sports Editor
Jed Barton
Photographer
Matt Langman
Staff Writers
Wyley Chick
Leigh Krise
Rory Jetniore
Steven Pittenger
Niki Porter
Reporter
Rocky Mees
Cartoonist
Dan Hansen
It wasn't until
recently that I
learned the meaning
of the word
"penultimate. -
Dictionary.com says
that "penultimate -
means "next to last.
or pertaining to the
penult.- A "penult"
often means the
second to last item in a series. This
issue of "The Retort." Issue 11.
happens to be the penultimate
issue. not only of this semester. but
of the entire school year and of my
career at this student newspaper.
What astonishes me about the word
"penultimate" is that it sounds so
cool. yet is used to describe
something that usually just isn't.
We have become accustomed to
noticing the first and last of any
series. These are important.
because they mark the alpha and
the omega—the beginning and the
end. But penultimate? I just can't
think of anything cool to say about
any penultimates. this issue in-cluded.
except that the end is
near...
The truth is that I've been
really excited all year to write the
penultimate editorial. Ifs one of
those words that can only be
utilized at a specific time, so it
must be locked away in your
special diction holding box until
the day it can finally be unleashed.
However. that day has come. and
alas. the excitement has dwindled.
Its pretty much the same feeling
you get when you
anticipate your
birthday or any other
holiday. You hold
lofty expectations for
the day. yet when she
arrives. she turns out
to be painfully and
disappointingly
similar to the rest.
At any rate. I
hope you enjoy this penultimate
issue, which. although proves to be
much like the rest in many regards.
has some surprising and unex-pected
perks for you. the reader.
As for me. I guess I'll just have to
tuck this ultimate Retort
penultimate to bed and move my
eyes forward to the ultimate Retort
ultimate—the last of the lasts—
which is assured to initiate some
teary eyes and retrospection if
nothing else.
If you have a story, pictures, art, or
creative writing you would like to see
published in The Retort, please contact
us by phone at 406-657-2194 or by e-mail
at retortemsubillings.edu
Guidelines & Policies
The Retort encourages the submission of letters to
the Editor. Letters must be under 250 words in length
and include name, signature, and phone number. The
Retort reserves the right to edit for space and possible
libel. Letters should deal with subject matter relevant to
the students, faculty, and staff of MSU-Billings. The Re-tort
is published twice a month. Letters must be submit-ted
by the Friday after the most recnt issue date.
The Retort is made possible in part by student fees
allocated by ASNISU-Billings.
The Publications Board of ASMSU-Billings advises
The Retort, leaving content decisions to the editors. Opin-ions
expressed in The Retort are not necessarily those of
its members, the university, students, nor student, state,
or federal governments.
PAGE 2•THE RETORT
Steven Pittenger
The Retort
If you live on campus then there's a pretty good chance
you've visited the Student Union Building a number of times.
Probably for a meal or the occasional social function, but what
you probably didn't know was that the Student Union offers stu-dents
a lot more then just that. So to help you out , here's a list of
just a few of the services available to you.
First and foremost the SUB, as it is affectionately called is
(usually) open later than any building on campus. This means it's
an ideal place for those late night study groups or just to play a
quick game of ping pong when you need a break. Students are
free to use the many tables located throughout the building as
well as most available rooms for even more privacy and quiet.
Also available in the Student Union is info about various
student organizations around campus. Most of the larger ones
(including the Retort) have offices in the building. Room 219 is a
great place to start if your looking for general information about
organizations. It's also where to go if you want to start your own
student organization.
On the business end of things, you can find the housing
office and business operations as well. These are the places to go
if you need to add money to a U-Card, have questions about your
housing contract, or where you can go if you lose your U-Card.
The housing office also approves postings and flyers for the dorms.
Next up we have the offices of ASMSUB or stu-dent
government. These are where your elected officials
work to help make the school a better place for you. You
can also make an appointment to speak with an attorney
(free of cost if you are taking seven or more credits), or
share an idea for improvement with any of the officers
there.
Of course, this article can't be written without mak-ing
a shameless plug for the Retort. This newspaper loves
student feedback, input, and submissions. If you've got
anything at all you feel newsworthy, just bring it by for
review and possible publication.
Next up on our whirlwind tour of the SUB is the
Student Activities Board. These folks do a wonderful job
of planning events for campus and making sure there are
exciting activities throughout the semester. They also hire
annually, so if you want to get involved that's a great way
to do it.
There's also the Fireplace Lounge which has a big
TV great for chilling out and taking a load off. There are
so many other places in the SUB for people to explore
including Jacket Junkies, United Campus Ministries,
Custodial Services and Sodexho, our on campus dining
service. The SUB isn't just that building you pass through
to get to another dorm, it's a place truly designed with the
student in mind. Walk around, get involved, find out
what's going on. You'll be surprised by what you find.
The Student Union Building (SUB) is home to many organizations and meeting rooms, and will soon house the new ASMSU-B
sponsored Game Room. Photo by Wyley Chick
NEWS &
CAMPUS LIFE
This SUB's For You
HABITAT from page 1
thrift store, said Reiter. -Except we sell
doors and light fixtures instead of clothes
and knickknacks."
Generous financial contributions
and extra income generated from
ReStore do not act alone to keeping the
nonprofit going. "The backbone is defi-nitely
the dedicated volunteers" said
Reiter. There are volunteer positions
available not only in the construction of
houses, but in the office, and at ReStore.
No special skills are required to be a vol-unteer
for Habitat for Humanity Mid-
Yellowstone Vall6y. "We take people
where they're at" said Reiter. We only
require that the volunteer has an enthu-siastic
attitude and a willingness to
work." While in San Antonio, Davila no-ticed
there were volunteers from all skill
levels. She noticed a wide range from
experienced carpenters donating their
time and expertise, to professionals and
students. Neighbors kept Davila and the
other volunteers hydrated by supplying
fresh water as well as providing indi-vidual
packed lunches for each volun-teer.
"There was such a sense of pride
and community" Davila said of the
worksite.
Spring Break is long gone and
Davila has once again returned to being
a full-time student here at MSU-B. But
she fondly remembers the enormous im7
• pact she and the other MSU-B students
had on the families in San Antonio. 'By
volunteering for Habitat we helped fami-lies,
who otherwise could not afford to
be homeowners, fulfill their dream of
having a place to call their own. I'm so
proud" Davila said. To get involved as
a volunteer for Habitat for Humanity
Mid-Yellowstone Valley, get a hold of
Volunteer Coordinator, Debra Reiter at
652-0690 or at www.billingshabitatorg.
ASMSU-B
Sponsors
Game
Room in
SUB
Heather Vandever
The Retort
New life is about to be
breathed into MSU-B's student
union building (SUB); a new game
room is on the drawing table. A
game room committee has been
working together for the past year,
in hopes of instilling the desire of
the students to socialize on cam-pus.
Senator Zach Abels heads up
this committee and is really excited
that this game room is coming in
the very near future. "It will be a
place where students can come and
hang out" Zach explains. "We
want all students to use it, not just
people in the dorms." So when will
the students see the benefits of all
this planning?
The game room, including
three pool tables, one pinball ma-chine,
one arcade game, booths,
high top tables, overhead billiard
lamps, and possibly more, will be
coming to the SUB near you. "It's
a matter of how much space we
have" Zach commented.- Perhaps
if there is more room an air hockey
table might even make its way in
there. "Hopefully by the middle
of the month [April] or the begin-ning
of the next" Zach com-mented.
If it doesn't get up and
running by the end of this semes-ter,
however, it will almost defi-nitely
be up by the beginning of the
next school year. The new game
room can be found in the Fireplace
Lounge, with hours of operation
the same as the SUB.
This much needed change is
being made possible by many dif-ferent
people; Zach is just the per-son
that collaborates everyone's
ideas into one. "I take everybody's
advice and organize the ideas"
Zach explains. "I didn't realize all
the people that had to be involved."
Many organizations are contribut-ing
their services, including
Beezer's, the cafeteria, • t he SUB,
Sodexho, Facility Services, and
ASMSU-B, just to name a few.
Perhaps this game room will bring
about just the change that is needed
to facilitate more social interaction
between students. Zach concluded,
"Once this gets done, we'll see a
lot of change come about in the
SUB."
THE RETORT* PAGE 3
mommy, WAKE
47% OF WOMEN MURDERED IN MONTANA LAST YEAR
WERE KILLED BY THEIR HUSBANDS OR BOYFRIENDS.
SOURCE. MONTANA Gomm oc CRIME CONTROL. 200e
OPEN YOUR EYES.
DOMESTIC & SEXUAL
VIOLENCE SERVICES
OF CARRON COUNTY
WWW.DSVSMONTANA.ORG
425-2222
Craphictle..irr latowtzeutoftlm
This public service announcement Is part of the "Open Your Eyes' campagn which won MSU-B students and professors several ADDY® Awards. Graphic courtesy of
University Relations
MSU-Billings Students Win Four Addy Awards
MSU BILLINGS NEWS SERVICE
— Montana State University Billings
communication and marketing stu-dents
and their two professors won
four coveted GOLD ADDY®
Awards. a SILVER ADDY® and a
BRONZE ADDY® for an -Open
Your Eyes" public service marketing
campaign the students wrote, created
and designed last spring to raise
awareness of domestic violence in
Yellowstone and Carbon counties.
The ADDY® Awards are the
advertising industry's most presti-gious
annual awards, given to adver-tising,
production and media-indus-try
professionals. MSU Billings'
ADDYs® were presented to the stu-dents
and their professors during an
awards banquet in Great Falls on
February 17. The MSU Billings stu-dents
were the only students this year
to win an ADDY in Montana.
The ADDY award-winning
public service marketing campaign
was conceived and written by MSU
Billings communications students in
Dr. Sarah Keller's Media for Social
Change classes, and by MSU Billings
business students in Dr. A.J. Otjen's
Integrated and Applied Marketing
classes. The campaign was a col-laborative
effort between Keller's
communication classes in the MSU
Billings College of Arts and Sci-ences,
and Otjen's marketing classes
in the MSU Billings College of Busi-ness.
MSUB Assistant Professor Dr.
Jenny Leonard, in the College of
Business. and one of her students.
Christina Schultz, contributed with
a Web site to support the campaign.
The campaign's theme, "Open
Your Eyes" was intended to draw at-tention
to the prevalence of domes-tic
violence, which directly affects
one in three U.S. women during their
lifetime. The campaign, which de-buted
last June 1 and ran through last
summer, consisted of four television
public service announcements that
aired statewide, billboards, posters
and newspaper ads.
The four GOLD ADDY®
Awards bestowed to MSU Billings,
in recognition of the highest level of
creative excellence and for entries
judged to be superior to all others in
the competition, were for the over-all
multi-media campaign, the "Brain
Injury" television public service an-nouncement,
the posters, and the
newspaper ads.
The SILVER ADDY® was
awarded for the "Teddy Bear" tele-vision
public service announcement:
the BRONZE ADDY® was pre-sented
for the "Barbecue" public ser-vice
announcement.
The television public service
announcements were professionally
filmed and produced by Anne Gauer
and Allen Peters of Spotlight Produc-tions,
with editing by Jack Gauer of
Montana Video Productions: and by
Ed Connors with Fox/ABC News.
Billboards, posters and newspaper
ads were designed by Joe Heins of
Heins Creative. The poster was
printed by Econo Print.
The campaign goals were to re-duce
violence through education, and
to put survivors of violence in touch
with support services available
through Domestic and Sexual Vio-lence
Services of Carbon County
(DSVS) and the YWCA Domestic
Violence/Sexual Assault Program of
Billings.
DSVS and the YWCA strive to
reduce domestic and sexual violence
by providing support services to
women, children, and families im-pacted
by this violence. The YWCA
provides shelter to approximately
500 Billings-area women each year,
and reaches numerous others through
its hotline number and support
groups. The DSVS provided service
to 32 people in 2005, and reached
654 people thru educational pro-grams.
This campaign was made pos-sible
by support from Heins Creative.
Spotlight Productions, Montana
Video Productions, Fox News, the
MSU Billings Foundation, the MSU
Billings College of Arts & Sciences.
the MSU Billings College of Busi-ness.
MSU Billings University Re-lations,
Zonta, the Billings Area
Taskforce on Family Violence,
Coastal Vacations, Inside Signs, the
Brain Injury Association of Montana,
and the Montana Department of Cor-rections.
This is the second year the
MSU Billings students have de-signed
a social awareness marketing
campaign. Their successful 2005
statewide marketing campaign, "Get
Tested,- raised awareness of the per-sonal
risk of HIV/AIDS and encour-aged
testing among young adults.
MSU Billings students have
been the first students in the state to
receive any ADDY Awards. In 2004.
four students in Otjen's Integn,ited
Marketing Communications class re-ceived
a BRONZE ADDY for a ra-dio
campaign they produced that aca-demic
year. 2004 was the first year
judges in the ADDY Award compe-tition
accepted entries by students.
In 2005, Otjen's Applied Marketing
Communications students took home
a SILVER ADDY for another radio
campaign they produced. Also in
2005, Leonard's Information Tech-nology
Society students Christina
Shultz and John Maloney won a
BRONZE ADDY for a Web site they
produced for Cody Cowboy Village.
To view the MSU Billings stu-dents'
"Open Your Eyes" domestic
violence ADDY Award-winning
campaign, visit the campaign Web
site created by Dr. Jenny Leonard
and student Christine Schultz, at
www.msubillings.edu/
BusinessFaczilty/Leonartildsys
ipmmlimummimmmummi
1 11 ASMSU-B 1
1
1 1
1 PRESENTS ITS 17TH 1
1 1
1 1
11 ANNUAL 11 11 EASTER EGG HUNT 11
I1 1 1 10:30 A.M. 11
I 1
1 SATURDAY, 1
1
1
1 1
1 APRIL 7, 2007 1
1 1
11 Ages 0-10 11
1 1
1 1
1 1
1 MEET AT THE PEAKS TO PLAINS PARK on the I
1 MSU-BILLINGS CAMPUS 1
1 1
1 1
1 1
1 EVERYONE IS INVITED TO ATTEND. BRING YOUR 1 i 1
I KIDS, GRANDKIDS, ETC. 1
1 WE HAVE STUFFED 8,000 EGGS FOR THIS EVENT. 1
1 1
imummummommiwinuommilimimmmil
PAGE 4•THE RETORT
Tiffani Fehlman was elected the 2007-2008 ASMSU-B student
body President. Photo courtesy of ASMSU-B
When MSU-B patrol officers are driving around campus, they're aren't just writing
parking tickets; they're trying to keep students safe. Photo by Wyley Chick
Few Students Head to the Polls
for ASMSU-B Elections
Dana Livermont
The Retort
This year's ASMSU-B
Presidential elections gener-ated
a dismal turnout with
only 265 MSU-B students tak-ing
to the polls. This means
that of the 4.693 students reg-istered
this semester. only 5.6
percent took the initiative and
interest to choose their stu-dent
government representa-tion.
This amount is a sub-stantial
decrease from last
year's turnout. which was
nearly 15 percent of the stu-dent
body, yet right on par
with the election two years
ago in which 6 percent of stu-dents
voted.
This election included
unopposed candidates for both
ASMSU-B President and Vice
President. At 5:21 p.m. on
March 21, Tiffani Fehlmann
was officially named the
2007-2008 ASMSU-B Presi-dent
with 231 votes. Shelley
Tanskanen was chosen as Vice
President with 218 votes.
There were 13 senator-at-
large positions available for
the fall. Election results for 18
candidates who ran for those
postions are as follows:
*Zach Abels 157
*Ashley Adams 118
*Barbara Bessette 144
Danielle Burwell 87
*Kayla Corcoran 111
*Kalli Cox 126
*Alicia Esteves 136
*Anna Gibson 135
*Tess Hatfield 129
Owen Hoenhous 97
Justin Mohr 103
*Amanda Morales 147
*Susan Napier 116
*Annie Snedigar 160
*Jennifer Steiner 136
Corinna Waters 91
*Joe Wesen 158
LaWarren Whiteman 58
(* denotes winner)
This semester's ballot
also included a constitutional
amendment to move control
of elections into the hands of
the ASMSU-B Political Ac-tion
Director instead of the
Vice President. This amend-ment
passed with 190 votes
for it and 26 votes against it.
Of newly elected sen-ate,
current ASMSU-B Presi-dent
Kevin Majewski said, "I
think [it] looks pretty darn
good. I have high expecta-tions
for the new senate." If
Majewski's supposition
proves correct, students next
year can anticipate great
things to come from
ASMSU-B.
Campus Police
They Do More Thana Just nWrite Tickets
Leigh Krise
The Retort
The struggle between civilians and
the authorities has been a problem as
long as the two groups have been in ex-istence.
Even though the authorities
work to protect us, much of the time they
are met with animosity from the very
people they are sworn to protect. This
is also the case for the campus police
right here at MSU-Billings. In reality, the
officers do much more for us, but many
students view their office merely as a
place to go to take care of parking tick-ets.
"I'm not sure what they do other
place to park" said sophomore MSU-B
student Sarah Biniek. "I never see them
unless it has to do with a ticket." This is
a confusion that the campus police
would love to clear up.
Barbara Hagel. head of campus
police. employs eight officers who do
all they can to ensure that the students
have a safe and comfortable campus.
"We are always open to opinions about
how we do our jobs. We need the stu-dents
- input." Hagel said. The force is
always changing and evolving to better
serve the students.
Campus police do a lot of hard
work and lot surveys to gain perspec-tive
on things that the campus might
need and what students think is impor-tant
to keep the campus safe. The office
is open 24-7, and in Hagel's 24 years
here, the office has only closed once for
the death of a fellow policeman. All of
the authorities are sworn policemen and
have been academy
trained; they cooperate'
with local and state law
enforcement to stay up to
date on current situations.
There are also panic
buttons located in differ-ent
areas on campus,
which many students
seem to not know. "I have
never seen a single panic
button on this campus"
Biniek said. However,
some can be found in the
Liberal Arts building as
well as near the financial
office. Although there are
currently no emergency
buttons located outside,
the officers are looking into installing
some. On their website_ they have links
to area offenders of both violent and
sexual nature. and they also post pictures
of the offenders in their office.
One reason that the campus seems
so quiet is that Hagel and the other of-ficers'
main focus is being proactive in-stead
of reactive. She says that there are
still quite a few thefts and break-ins, but
there has only been one assault so far
this year. A lot of the calm can be attrib-uted
to the demographics of our small
campus, but the officers' diligence to
staying aware of things like danger zones
and restraining orders can also be the
reason.
Barbara Hagel and the rest of the
campus police are here for the students'
safety. They aren't trying to be the bad
guys, but are trying to fight the bad guys.
With cooperation and feedback from the
students, the campus can only become a
safer place for everyone.
Contact Information
Phone
ext. 2147 (on campus);
657-2147 (off campus)
Mailing Address
Campus Police Department
Montana State University-Billings
1500 University Drive
Billings, MT 59101
E-Mail Address
bhagel@msubillings.edu
Website
www.msubillings.edu/security
THE R_ETOIU0 PAGE 5
Mike Schrage cal black garb, bathed in
the soft lights of the
Alberta Bair, holding the
attention of the audience
captive. Finally, one
The Retort
The performers stood
onstage, clothed in identi- stepped forward and spoke.
The recent perfromance of Romeo and Juliet by the Aquila Theatre Group at the
Alberta Bairr Theatre was a real success. Photo courtesy of Alberta Bair Theatre
AlTS & ENTERTAINMENT
Romeo + Juliet to the Power of Five
"All five performers
have learned every part to
"Romeo and Juliet" He
said, "and tonight, the
hands of fate determined by
you, the audience, will
determine
what parts we
play." The
actors then
dispersed
throughout
the crowd,
where
members of
the audience
picked
random
scraps of
paper that
assigned a
several
specific
characters to
a particular
actor. The
actors then
retreated
behind the
backdrop to
begin the
show.
The
three men
and two
women were
members of
the New York
based Aquila
Theatre
Group, an
ensemble of
British and
American
classically
trained
Shakespearian
actors, whose
tour just so
happened to cruise them
right through Billings,
Montana, with a stop at
Billing's own Alberta Bair.
Combining the traditional
Elizabethan method of
visual storytelling with a
sense of humor and an
almost total lack of onstage
props, the Aquila Group's
interpretation of the
famous, yet still largely
unfamiliar piece of litera-ture,
transformed into a
very engaging three hour
literary tour de force.
"Romeo and Juliet."
the Shakespearian story
that takes place in Renais-sance-
era Verona, • Italy, is
the tale of two star-crossed
lovers from the two feuding
families, the Montagues
and the Capulets. Though
some may perceive the
small group of actors
performing every role in a
major play to be a detri-ment.
members of the
troupe easily and flawlessly
assumed the mantle of
several complex and vastly
different characters, little
details such as gender
notwithstanding. Anyone
who has auditioned for any
major role in a script and
understands the effort and
difficulty that goes into
perfecting the dialogue,
quirks, and distinct manner-isms
of one character, must
display outright apprecia-tion
and even envy at people
who have to master fifteen
or twenty very different
parts.
In a play such as
"Romeo and Juliet" where
character development is of
the utmost importance, one
would automatically assume
that a production with five
performers and nearly void
of props would be difficult,
if not impossible to success-fully
interpret. The actors,
much to their credit, made
each of their determined
characters totally
discernable and autono-mous,
despite being por-trayed
by one actor. They
mastered posture, accent,
gestures and pronunciations
to set each role apart as
good (if not better) then I
have ever personally seen it
done. The Aquilians made it
very difficult to focus on the
multi-tasking of roles;
instead you recognized each
actor not by his or her own
appearance, but by the role
that he or she was portray-ing.
This flawless interpre-tation
must have sprung
from some sort of rare talent
gland that the average man
and woman does not
genetically produce, and
only so much credit can be
placed on repetition to a
different city every night,
which is the way of life for
many touring groups.
Anyone can put on a play
that was popular almost a
half millennium old, but it
takes a very unique and
seldom-seen talent to make it
a believable experience. I am
willing to wager that by the
time the thespiins did their
final bow that March
evening, the Alberta Bair
Theatre was full of believers.
1610 Dear GalDby:
Dear Gabby:
I have a whole bunch of classes
that I have to study for. I study a
bunch on my own and with a bunch
of people. I understand the material,
but when I take the test I do poorly.
How can I improve my grades?
-Failing in School
Dear Failing in School:
Everyone has some semesters that
are more difficult than others. It seems
like you're headed on the right tract to
studying.
• Before you start hitting the
books, talk to your professor and see if
he/she has any advice to give you on
preparing for the test. Listen carefully
and take the wisdom with grace.
• When you go to apply that
wisdom, make sure that your mind is
only focused on the subject you're
studying. Make sure nothing is both-ering
you or occupying your gray mat-ter.
The number one thing that can
screw up the retention of knowledge,
though, is studying with music on.
When music is playing, your mind isn't
completely focused on what you're
reading and it wanders.
• Make note cards that have the
question on one side and the answer on
the other. Try to not only understand
the material, but try to almost memo-rize
it. Some teachers can want ex-tremely-
specific answers.
▪ Have someone quiz you, but
rather than question/answer. try teach-ing
the concept to them. If they under-stand
what you're explaining and can
explain it back, then you can most likely
explain it on a test.
• As for the people that you
study with, are they friends that you
study with or just study buddies? When
you study with friends, the intended
study session can become more of a
social time and little can get accom-plished.
Study with people that are
strictly acquaintances and are there for
the sole purpose of studying.
So turn off the music, make sure
your mind is clear, and buckle down
with the book. Good luck!!
Send your anonymous
questions to Gabby,
and she'll help you out
with love, life, and
whatever.
Send questions to:
sweet_angel1005_@hotmail.com
PAGE 6•THE RETORT
The St. Patty's Day parade in Butte is fun for all ages.
Photo from The Retort archives
CD Swap: Rocky Mees and Leigh Krise
Dave Mathews Band, "Crash" Tiger Army, "II:Power of the Moonlite"
Leigh says, "I picked this, because it is my favorite CD in th
whole world. I figured that out of all of the girlie music I have,
Rocky would dislike this one the least"
Rocky says, "The reason why I chose Tiger Army is
because I felt like Leigh needed to get a change of pace in
music, something that had more passion and not so slow like
Dave Matthews Band.."
Rocky Mees
The Retort
The first song of Dave Matthews
Band's "Crash" really got my atten-tion.
Even though I hate his voice, I
thought the lyrics were great, and the
band seemed to do excellent on this
song. It's probably my favorite song
on the album, as I could relate to the
song and enjoy it: After this song,
though. it was flashback nightmares of
when I had to endure the agony of
seeing and hearing ''Crash Into Me"
and similar songs everyday in 1997. I
still feel ill when I hear tht... song to
this day. If you like jam bands and sad
love poems, you might like this album.
Some of the songs are probably great
to listen to when you're at home, all
alone. It doesn't get better until the last
song, ''Proudest Monkey" which I
might just like for the fact that it just
goes into a jam session, and I don't
have to listen to Dave Mathews's
voice. If I could just somehow remove
Dave from the band, I would be
stoked, because I believe the band is
good. Hopefully someday he will just
shut up and just play the guitar, then I
might go and buy one of their CDs.
Leigh Krise
The Retort
Ali, punk music. It's very hard
for me to determine why people listen
to it. My general dislike of punk music
is due to the fact that nearly every song
has the same beat, features a singer who
neglects to add the final syllables to
every word and screams in a whiney
British accent. Tiger Army's CD did
nothing to disprove my opinion.
I should probably point out that
there are some good things in this CD,
Tiger Army's drummer has the ability
to keep a steady and driving beat
(granted he only has to know one
and the guitar is very upbeat and
potentially inspiring. I honestly almost
liked a few of the songs, "Cupid's
Victim" "Valley of Dreams" and "In
the Orchard" because they had a
different beat and a twangy, almost
Johnny Cash sound. I had great hopes
for "Annabel Lee" (because of the
Lee/Leigh part) but the song was
virtually indistinguishable from all of
the others.
I have to thank Rocky for giving
me what I suspect is a relatively tame
part of his CD collection. While Tiger
Amiv didn't earn a new fan, and I
doubt that I'll ever listen to them again,
I didn't hate the CD.
One Student's Butte St. Patty's Day. Adventure
Rocky Mees
The Retort
This year, I de-cided
that I should cel-ebrate
St. Patrick's Day
in the most proper place
(other than Ireland)
which would be Butte,
Montana. I've heard a
lot stories about Butte
on St. Patrick's Day, so
I had to go see if there
was any truth to my
friends' stories. They
said it was usually cold,
that there was an hour-long
parade, and after
the parade, you would
just go drinking, wan-dering
around in the
chaos that ensued after
the parade.
I drove up there in
the morning and got
there a little bit before
the parade started. It
was a very nice day at
about 65 degrees, and
everybody I talked to
said it was the warmest
they'd seen it in a long
time for the holiday.
I walked around
and saw lots of green. I
saw couple of friends I
knew. I even saw Jon
Tester and Brian
Schweitzer; they both
seemed to be excited
about being in Butte
when I talked to them.
The parade
started at eleven near a
park. There were bag
pipers, beer trucks,
Irish step dancers,
charities, city officials,
and other people. The
parade did indeed last
about an hour.
Afterward.
found my good friends
who missed most of the
parade because they
said they were celebrat-ing
St.Urho, the patron
saint of Finland who
chased out all the grass-hoppers,
the night be-fore.
(Checking sources:
St. Urho isn't really a
saint, but a folklore that
was created in the
United States around the
mid 1900's.)
I decided to get
some food, and I found
out that one of the ven-dors
was selling this
awesome corn beef,
cabbage, and potato
dog. It was excellent.
People were selling t-shirts,
food, jams, and
beads which could be
used for the same pur-pose
as for Mardi Gras.
People every-where
though were
drinking beer, and about
every ten minutes, a
cheer would go up. and
it would travel around
with everybody joining
in.
The day kept go-ing
and not much else
changed, except that the
families were taking
their kids homes. The
police started to show
up on the streets at
around 6 p.m., as they
knew most people
wouldn't be getting too
drunk until then. They
kept the crowd of col-lege
kids and adults to
a four block area where
all the main bars are lo-cated.
I've heard people
saying that the cops
don't do enough to stop
the underage drinking,
but I would like to
know how you would
try to stop thousands of
underage drinkers.
Good luck! You would
probably start a riot.
The cops for the most
part were friendly and
were there to stop
fights, direct traffic, and
to help people that got
too drunk. Nighttime
came about, and every-body
was in good spir-its.
People would go up
to strangers and just
start chatting with them.
There wasn't really any
chaos; everybody was
being decent and re-spectable
to each other.
People were just drink-ing
and having good
times with their friends.
The cops . started
to remove people from
the streets around mid-night.
They were
watching the roads, as
well. as I saw lots of
people getting pulled
over. Nobody should
be driving after attend-ing
St. Patrick's Day.
St. Patrick's Day
seemed to end well, as
my friends and I all
agreed we had a good
time. We were glad that
we had survived and
that we had a hotel
room.
ASMSU Billings Student Legal Services
It is nearing the end of the semester and school year; a time
when a "rush" to complete tasks seems to hit many people. For those
of you, who have put off seeking legal advice, please note that certain
legal matters cannot be undertaken before the end of the semester
and others will be restricted due to limited resources, as follows;
- Name change: no new cases this semester
• Family Law, all types: advice only, after April 2
-Wills, Living Wills: make appointments by April 16
• All other: check with the office
The attorney, Judy Williams, sees students by appointment only.
She is generally available Monday through Thursday, 8:00a.m. to
noon plus Monday and Tuesday from 1:00 p.m. — 3:00 p.m.
Call 657-2365 for an appointment.
THE RETORT• PAGE 7
Dr. Mark Hardt is Associate Professor of Sociology at MSU-Billings. Photo by Mike
Schrage
Q: "Hey, Guys, Why'd You Get Those Tattoo?"
A: I'm a quarter Irish. I wanted to
get something that was traditonal,
but also something modern and
tribal, so this is what I got."
A: "It's a M. C. Escher drawing,
but it has important symoblic
meaning to me. But you have to
know me better to understand."
A: "My friend and I decided that we
wanted to get some tattoos, and I
thought this design looked cool."
A: "It's the Chinese symbol for
"dream" so it reminds me that I will
always have a dream."
Bryan Kapor Harrison Richardson
Michael Kelsey Ryan Petropoulos Age: 20 Age: 21
Age: 19 Age: 19 Major: Physical Therapy Major: Psychology
Major: Secondary Education Major: General Education Hometown: Bridger, Montana Hometown: Colstrip, Montana
Hometown: Malta, Montana Hometown: Albuqurque, New Mexico
Professor Profile: Dr. Mark Hardt
Mike Schrage
The Retort
1) Briefly describe your edu-cational
background.
I did my undergraduate work
at Mankato State University
(now known as Minnesota State
University), and my graduate
work at the University of Con-necticut.
2) I'm going to have to ask
you to reveal an obscure fact
about yourself.
You obviously have never seen
my gargoyle collection. If you
want to get really obscure, I was
a founding member of The
Black Bunnies Enough said.
3) As a student, what was the
worst educational advice you
were ever given?
I once had a high school coun-selor
tell me to never consider
going to college, because I
would never make it. His words
actually helped me get through
the tough times.
4) You have a rubber mallet,
a stuffed badger and a rou-lette
wheel. It's Friday night,
and you find yourself hand-cuffed
to Daniel Day Lewis.
What do you do?
Forget about the mallet, the bad-ger,
and the roulette wheel. I
want to hear him talk about how
he brought to life all of his roles,
from "My Left Foot" to "Gangs
of New York."
5) What's your big-gest
gripe when it
comes to students?
I have never been
able to comprehend
those who want to
get through their col-lege
career quickly
and get it over with.
This is a wonderful
time of life to expe-rience,
enjoy, and
recollect.
6) What was the
best lie you've ever
told about your-self?
I once worked for
the Census Bureau.
There was an Afri-can
American
woman in the build-ing
with the same
last name. We
would introduce our-selves
to people as
cousins.
7) What was the most useless
college course you were
forced to take?
I can't think of a useless college
course I took. They all contrib-uted
to the maelstrom of knowl-edge
that is my intellect.
8) What are in your pockets
right now?
I jingle when I walk, because
of the dollar coins that I keep.
9) I currently have seven dol-lars
in loose change, an arcade
token, and a tube of
chapstick. Do you have any
sound business advice to turn
my meager holdings into a
vast fortune so I can
crush my enemies?
You've seen the
caveman in the com-mercial?
Find out
who his therapist is.
10) Favorite quote?
yuaerendo
Invenietis"
11) When, in your
professional opin-ion;
did society ma-neuver
into the
nosedive we are in
today?
I do not accept the
contention that soci-ety
has broken
down, but if you do
accept, it then you
have to conclude
that society has al-ways
been in a
nosedive. It is called
'evolving.'
PAGE 8•THE RETORT
Welcome to Fallin Rock National Park
'I've crecite4
mcidellne it- metisures
\oW ccni
ty\qaliAe melsu re
be au' '
Two Dudes by Aaron Warner
I MOW, I7Uri. ON MINUTE
NOTHIN6, AND NOW I'M 5771.1-
NOTHING, SUT I YAW SOWTMG.
%AA 44, • gir
Send your anonymous questions to
Gabby and she'll help you out with
love, life, and whatever.
Send questions to:
sweetfingel_1005@hotmail.com
Ail names and e-mail addresses will be kept confidential.
This is for use only by The Retort, and Gabby should not
be considered a professional.
AND I DON'T TAM A
TR-MIAPKFTRP
THAT ilAg TO TALK TO YOU,
BUT A PEN- 1-IFF
CARLPRIW.
0
3
"You were all I wanted in a. man, Fabrice, until
I realized your name is so girly, I could gag."
"I was using my iPod and iPhone around
some poor people today, when I was
suddenly stricken with iGuilt."
THE RETORT.) PAGE 9
Will Wurk 4 Food... or beer... or a new turtineck.
&raping the Barrel
Student Seeks Meaningful (Un)Employment
Mike Schrage
The Retort
On further reflection, telling my
boss Which orifice to insert his tongue
into wasn't such a great idea, even
though. I thought highly of the concept
at the time. I have since determined it
was not such a swell idea because he
summarily fired me, effective immedi-ately.
Soinewhere between being
menially employed and sticking it to the
man, my thoroughly planned act of
defiance backfired in the worst way.
I'm not going to apologize,
because he initiated it and quite frankly,
he dgserved it. And I scoff and roll my
eyes at the idiotic notion that my getting
fired was some kind of karmic retalia-tion
for my recent transgressions
against Bambi, regardless of what some
will imply. In fact, I might hunt down
Thumper and Free Willy for the sheer
hell of it, just because I seem to have a
lot of time on my hands these days. I
hear whale hide makes great upholstery
after all, and rabbit.fur vests are all the
rage these days. If only a pair of spotted
owls or baby penguins would wander
into the road... .
I figured the best way to deal
with the pressing issue of unemploy-ment
was to handle it the way I handle
pretty much every obstacle life throws
in my path. Ignore it and play paintball,
of course. But alas, a couple thousand
paintballs and half dozen welts later, I
still was still no closer to a steady
paycheck, and going home and inhaling
dry erase markers and watching
"Laverne and Shirley" obviously
wasn't the answer. either. no matter
how badly I wanted it to be.
This means that now I have to
look for a new job, one that either sucks
less than or equal to the crappy
employment I previously held. While
my old job was unofficially titled as
"warehouse drone" it did have its
perks. The difficult thing now is going
to secure employment where gluing ink
pens to someone's desk and chasing my
roommate around with a forklift was
commonplace and accepted, albeit
grudgingly.
I always hated the job hunt,
mainly because the things I'm quali-fied
to do, nobody would pay me to do
them anyway. I suppose I could always
re-join the Army, but if I hated a job
where I was constantly told to tuck in
my shirt and refrain from using
obscenities around the data-entry
ladies, no way am I going to be able to
handle some beret-wearing, chevron-sporting
jackass with a bad haircut and
little brain spitting and screaming at
me for scuffed boots and a crooked gig
line. Hell, that and the 5 a.m. runs in
the sleet are why I bid Uncle Sam a
fond adieu to begin with! Maybe I
could return to the Middle East as a
civilian contractor for the U.S.
military, but two years in various
blazing hot and volatile hellholes was
quite enough, thank you very much. If
I never hear the whistling of a de-scending
mortar again, I'm pretty sure
I can handle working in a job I hate.
Maybe I should just firmly plant
my ass on the bench and sit the next
few plays out. I could write the next
great American novel about a man and
his relationship with an omnipotent,
crime-solving, counter-terrorism squad
of howler monkeys. sort of like
Curious George meets "24." Or I could
promote my own brand of "Diet
Anarchy" and go to the library with a
Sharpie and black out all the refer-ences
to Ireland in all the books and
then refuse to even acknowledge that it
even exists? Or perhaps I'll just stay
unemployed and sit at home and
subject myself to a Pauly
Shore movie marathon
until my brain implodes
and starts leaking out my
nose halfway through
"Jury Duty." There is
always the option that I
could organize and
promote underground
Foxy Boxing cards in the
Student Union after
hours, while continually
foiling the hapless
authority figures who
attempt to thwart me.
Then again, I could
always take the hehn of
the Retort following the
upcoming regime
change, but I'd no sooner
do that than I would take
command of the Titanic
while everybody else is scrambling for
the lifeboats. Women and children first,
my ass.
Nah, that's all wishful thinking. I
just need to sit down with a piping hot
mug of reality and realize that like most
Americans, I'm probably going to hate
my job, unless it involves fighting
hobos, porn stars and a camera with a
great zoom lens. I'm sure I'll find a job
somewhere, some time. If you see a
disheveled, confused street vagrant
holding a sign reading "WILL WURK
4 FOOD" keep in mind two things: I'm
a horrible speller, and please be
generous. It's either that, or I rip off the
Shriners.
Yep. It's Official. That's Effing Annoying!
o
Steven Pittenger
The Retort
Over the last few
months I have become a
reliable and regular
contributor to this Voice
section, but recently I
realized that I have yet
to really let loose and
write about the things I
really feel passionate
about. So without
further adieu, here is a
list of the top ten things
I'm bored with, tired of,
or pissed at-in no
particular order.
1. Popped collars.
This desperate
cry for attention is not
only ridiculous in
appearance, but also in
practice. If I had my
way I would carry a pair
of scissors around with
me and every popped
collar I saw would be
promptly and
uncerimoniusly re-moved.
In short, unless
your working the
runway in Milan, keep
that collar down!
2. Grown men I don't
know calling me
"buddy."
I don't know you.
I don't wanna know
you, and even if I did, I
most certainly would
not be your "buddy".
Don't talk to me like
you've known me all
your life or like you
have a chance of
befriending me based
on your stupid "friendly
greeting."
3. Reality TV.
I had hoped that
this was simply a trend
that would die out after
the first season of
"Survivor" but alas I
was wrong. What irks
me is that there is
nothing "real" about
reality TV. Don't believe
me? Ask any of your
friends how often
they've had to eat bugs
on some remote island
near Borneo for a chance
to win a million dollars.
4. Stupid arguments
about gay marriage.
Honestly I'm so
sick of this issue I could
puke. If you don't like
same sex marriage, don't
marry someone of your
same sex. Problem
solved. Everyone wins.
5. All you can eat
buffets.
I have been
dragged to these things
on occasion and I must
tell you the concept
sickens me. Why must
we insist on stuffing
ourselves until we have
to waddle out of the
restaurant in question? If
you can afford the $12
for the buffet you most
likely don't have to
worry about a major food
shortage anytime soon,
so stop stocking up and
eating like a starving
Ethiopian orphan.
6. "Honest" people.
I don't mean really
honest people. I'm
talking about people who
feel the need to be harsh
and critical of anything
they dislike and then
claim "they're just being
honest." You can be
honest without being a
tool about it. Don't use
honesty to justify your
poor behavior.
7. Backwards hats.
Unless you're ten
or younger this look has
got to go. You look
ridiculous.
8. Cost of tuition.
It's out of control.
Based on what I pay, and
what I know the average
professor gets paid, there
is a serious mathematical
gap. I, for one, refuse to
believe that the remain-ing
difference goes
toward operational costs.
9. Porn.
I don't think
there's anything wrong
with it as a form of free
speech, but the fact that
the industry grosses
nearly $10 billion a year
reflects a serious lack of
priorities. Think about it,
if we cut back our porn
consumption by half,
what could we accom-plish
with the extra five
billion?
10. Annoying laughs.
We all know that
person who has that
laugh that makes you
want to hit them with the
nearest blunt object.
These people should be
informed of their high
level of annoyance so the
rest of us don't have to
listen to them.
PAGE IOITHE RETORT
At the Babcock Theater
Season starts
September 28, 2006
Live fighting every
Thursday night through
March 29, 2007
Waited Weekly. lasieling Coil
itudomits. Mei a Women, 1O-39. No
needed. •ghsi by wailla and expodene.
11125 Its Nib - SEM to lose
We$gh-1n5 every Wednesday at
The Western Wheel, 6:30 pm sharp
For Info call Mike 861-0528, or Ric 672-5677
Art Should be Appreciated, Not Criticized
I will admit it: I do read
The Retort. For four years
now, nothing has offended
me, until this last issue. I was
shocked at not just the
wording of the headline, but
also by the implications and
lack of information in the
article "Shitting is Art?"
I understand that The
Retort is understaffed. Many
of you fill positions for which
you have little experience.
But there is no excuse to
degrade.the work of a
talented artist, who not only
offered his work to be
displayed in our university,
but also volunteered his time
to give a lecture and a painting
demonstration during the day
of his show's opening.
Why was there no
mention that Mr. Rollin
Beamish is a professor at
MSU-Bozeman and Mr.
Andrew Schell a teacher at
MSU-Billings? Why was
there no mention that Mr.
Beamish is a world traveler,
studied extensively in Athens,
earned his masters, is a
Fulbright Scholar, an indepen-dent
artist, recognized for his
work in many different art
circles, and is not even 30
years old? While Mr. Schell,
although new to this school, is
teaching many different
classes, is highly respected by
his students, and an accom-plished
artist in his own
rights?
Was this entire gallery
show judged by one image
isolated from its context? The
article, coupled with the title,
suggests that the meaning of
the show can be reduced to an
unidentified creature and his
natural bodily functions. Was
this really all the author gained
from her experience? The
artist's intention of suspending
reality and questioning
reaction was mentioned in the
article. But there was no
mention of the work's effec-tiveness.
If the writer's
intention was to cause the
audience to read her article,
then she was highly effective,
but if her intention was to
offer an interpretation,
explanation, or even a review
of the work, she failed
completely. Instead, we
received an uninformed
judgment we did not need or
want.
MSU-Billings has a
small art program, but the
students involved are very
passionate about their classes,
the opportunities granted by
the school, and their art. We
are always thrilled to have new
artists and shows in the
Northcutt Steele Gallery. We
rarely have the opportunity to
interact so closely with a
successful and established
artist and I am ashamed that
this is how we showed our
appreciation of Mr. Beamish
and Mr. Schell's contributions
to our school.
Ann Stroebe
Student
Clarification: There is No Pornography in the Library
The February 27 issue of "The
Retort" contained a terribly misleading
and asinine article about the sex-related
books in the MSU-B Library, which I
feel needs redress. The article was
intolerably misleading from its very
first line, where the author, Heather
Vandever, asks if anyone has "noticed
the extremely large pornography
section in the basement of the library."
This could simply not be a more false
statement, as there is absolutely 100
percent no pornography on the shelves
in the library. Opening the article with
such a bogus proclamation really shows
the bias of the author, which seems in
keeping with the rest of the article.
The dictionary definition of the
word pornography is "sexually explicit
pictures, writing, or other material
whose primary purpose is to cause
sexual arousal." The purpose of the
sexuality books on the library's first
floor is knowledge. These books allow
the students of MSU-B the opportunity
to better understand their own bodies,
emotions, and lives—if they want to.
No one is forced to check out any of
these books. However, if someone
wants to understand changes in their
bodies or emotions they should be able
to. This is just the same as if someone
wanted to understand their computer
better, so they went to the computer/
technology section to find a helpful
book. Yet, no one is complaining about
our selection of those books.
The sex-related books which
Vandever seems so offended by are
actually scholarly, academic works.
They contain many scientific studies on
the subject of human reproduction and
sexuality. They also contain scholarly
works about homosexuality, sex
education, sexual deviance, marriage,
homophobia, and dozens of other
topics. These topics are important to
our existence as they help us under-stand
ourselves and each other more
completely. Sexual reproduction is a
part of life whether we like it or not. I
wouldn't be here writing this if it
weren't for sex, nor would you be
reading it. Without sex, only asexual
creatures like amoebas would live on
earth, yet, as we know, the planet is
populated by billions of creatures of all
sorts. Sex is a necessary part of life and
better understanding it may lead to
increases in healthy relationships,
greater communication between
partners, and lower instances of STDs.
At the same time, it may also cause a
reduction in rape, incest, child abuse,
general violence, and so on.
The bottom line, however, is that
the books in question are scholarly
works, not pornography in any way.
They are full of charts, graphs, and text
with few to no pictures. They are far
closer to the dry end of the literary
spectrum than the tantalizing end. In
fact, anyone looking for porn would be
far better off trying to sneak a peek on
one of the computers and hoping they
don't get caught...which usually they
do. However, that doesn't mean we
should remove all computers from the
library, either.
Vandever's article also seems to
have strong implications that the
placement of the books in the bottom
corner of the library' is somehow
deliberate. It appears that Vandever is
alluding that the sexuality books were
placed near the bathroom for some
masturbatory convenience. This
argument is laughable to anyone
familiar with the Library of Congress
system and our library. [These books]
just happen to be in that location
because of the size of our library aid
the Library of Congress arrangement
system. It is not strategic.
Another concern expressed in
Vandever's article is that children could
get their hands on these sex-related
books. This argument leaves me with a
number of questions. What are these
children doing wandering about the
library without supervision? Where are
their parents while they are ransacking
the shelves? More importantly, what is
the alternative to having these books
out on the shelf like all the other books?
Should the library have to hide away
books dealing with this basic part of life
like it is a dirty secret? If so, what's the
next in line to be locked away?
Different religions? Cloning books?
Books with anti-American sentiment?
Writings about evolution? It seems
we're leaning toward censorship here.
I was under the impression that
this was a college library for college
students. As college students, one
would think that we are old enough to
handle the matter of sex tastefully and
maturely. Judging from Vandever's
article, though, maybe I am giving all
college students a little too much credit.
I have a suggestion: maybe we should
stop giggling like eight-year-olds at the
word sex and take a serious, academic
look at what is contained in those
books.
Thank you,
Bethany Dopp
Student
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THE RETORT' PAGE 11
Who'd have thought that Haggard would relapse so
courtesy of starbulletin.com
quickly after finishing Gay rehab? Photo
Wyley's Hip or Dangerous
A Breakdown of Today's Pop Culture
Wyley Chick
The Retort
Politics
Al Gore goes to Washington Al Gore
went to Washington to outline the prob-lems
the world faces from Global Warm-ing.
He warned Congress and asked for
.them to do more to fight Global Warm-ing.
Now. if only we can get him to run
for President! Also. don't believe the
Right-Wing hype that has been in the
corporate media lately bashing Gore.
They're just upset that his film won an
Oscar. Hip or dangerous? HIP!
State Republicans have absolutely lost
this session State Republicans have
compleltv lost this session. Now I have
always thought Republicans were kinda
werid, like the lights aren't completely on,
but this is the nail in the colfm. State Re-publicans
have accused Schweitzer's
budget bill of being Stalinistic and
Nixonesque. These people have com-pared
our Governor to Stalin and Presi-dent
Nixon! What? A mass murder and a
guy who tried to dismantle the U.S. con-stitution.
I bet their advisor is Mann
Coulter. Hip or dangerous? Dangerous!
Ed butcher Loses it, again Ed Butcher.
a Republican Representative from
Winifred. has implied the Indians of
Montana are illiterate. His potentially rac-ists
beliefs are probably why he doesn't
want to increase spending on Indian Edu-cation
this session. Hip or dangerous?
DANGEROUS!
Peter Pace Peter Pace, the head of the
Joint Chiefs of Staff, has called homo-sexuality
immoral. Well, Peter, you're
ugly, and you more than likely have an
ugly wife and ugly kids, who are going
to marry other ugly people. Hip or dan-gerous?
Dangerous!
Israel A U.N. expert has said that Israel
has turned Gaza into a prison. Meanwhile
the world continues to turn its head away
from Israel's apartheid practices. Hip or
dangerous? ISRAEL IS DANGEROUS!
Gringo Go Home Hugo Chavez told the
gringo. Mr. Bush to go back home when
he went on his tour of South America.
Actually Hugo. you can have him we
don't want Bush either. Hip or danger-ous?
HIP!
Purge Lets see another scandal from the
White House. It's starting to get hard to
keep up with all the bullshit this Admin-istration
keeps throwing out. This time
Bush has fired U.S. attorneys apparently
for not being Republican enough. Hip or
dangerous? Dangerous!
Darfur Darfur is in need of immediate
attention. Thing were looking up towards
the end of 2006, but now things have gone
South. It needs immediate U.N. troops
in the area. Call Max Baucus and Jon
Tester and ask them to act now. See
savedarfur.org for more details. Hip or
dangerous? Dangerous!
Bush "resurgeification?" Bush has
resurged the surge. Approximately 7.000
more troops will be sent into the abyss
that is known as Iraq. Hip or dangerous?
Dangerous!
Iraq refugees Nearly FOUR MILLION
Iraqis have either been externally or in-ternally
displaced in Iraq. We have com-pletely
decimated that country. The
middle class of Iraq has been wiped out.
Hip or dangerous? Dangerous!
Valrie Plame Alright, this pisses me off.
People. i.e. President Bush. Karl Rove.
and Dick the robot-. Cheney, can not
accuse me of being tmAmerican, traitor.
helper of Osama Bin Laden, or a threat
to national security. Why? Because they
are the ones who are traitors! They are
the ones helping the terrorists! You can
not accuse people of being traitors to this
country and then turn around and out your
own CIA AGENTS THAT ARE RISK-ING
THEIR LIVES FOR THIS COUN-TRY.
Valerie Plame testified this month
and CONFIRMED SHE WAS COVERT
when she was working for the CIA Hip or
darigeroirs? HIP!
Yes, Sir, I'd Like Another! Subpoena
that is! Sen. Patrick Leahy issued sub-poenas
for certain Bush officials this
month, most importantly Karl Rove and
"Torture Boy" Gonzales Woot! Hip or
dangerous? HIP!
Glenn Beck The Beckster called Hillar_y
Clinton a bitch. Yeah, well, you're a bitch.
Hip or dangerous? BITCH!
Halliburton and UAE are BFF The
former company headed by Dick "Robot"
Cheney is officially best friends forever
with the country of United Arab Emirates.
This is a company that says it is for the
U.S. and one that "Robot" Cheney calls a
good company. Yeah right, fleeing to avoid
law and taxes, yeah where's the ethics in
that? Hip or dangerous? Dangerous!
Religion
God 'Me I am seriously not joking this
is true. Christian Supremacists have made
their own version of YouTube, appropri-ately
called GodTube. This is just another
attempt of Christian Supremacists trying
to divide this country. They are trying to
create an us vs. them U.S. society, except
when it comes to public education. Hip
or dangerous? Dangerous!
Conservepedia To follow up with
GodTube, Christian Supremacists have
came up with their own version of
WikiPedia. Not Joking again. Here is
where they promote their own reality and
history. Claiming the Earth is 6,000 years
old and stuff like that. Hip or dangerous?
Dangerous!
Albert Mohler: STONE COLD
EFFING NUTS Rev. R. Albert Mohler
Jr.. president of the Southern Baptist
Theological Seminary in Louisville. Ky.
has claimed that Christians should sup-port
medical testing on fetuses in order
to cure babies of homosexuality in the
future. If there is anything I have learned
as being an Atheist, is that just when you
thought religious people can't get any
more delusional, they do! Mohler has
suggested that there might be a gay gene
and you could then switch a homosexual
baby into a hetrosexual one. Hip or dan-gerous?
Dangerous!
Haggard Completely Straight. Not! A
couple of weeks ago I told you that the
Christian Supremacist, Ted Haggard was
announced to be completely straight.
This announcement came after a intense
counseling session after he got caught
with a homosexual prostitute doing
meth. Anyway, I guess Ted isn't com-pletely
straight because after his an-nouncement
that he was completely
straight, a lot more people allegedly
came fonvard with their stories of, let's
just say, "encounters" with Mr. Haggard.
Hip or dangerous? DANGEROUS!
Celebrity
Britney Out of Rehab What did you
guys think of "Crazy Britney?" I think I
like her more than "I'm married to Kevin
Federline" Britney. Hip or dangerous?
HIP!
Jesse Metcalf goes to Refaboulose, I
mean rehab The hottness that we know
as Jesse Metcalf from Desperate House-wives
has gone to rehab. Britney's gone;
Jesse's in. Hip or dangerous? Danger-ous!
Reads
BOMB SCARE The new book by Jo-seph
Cicercone. of Center for American
Progress, is a must read! Hip or danger-ous?
HIP!
Music
Panda Bear The music we know and
love. Panda Bear that is, has released
their new album Person Pitch. Highly
recommended and their second single A
7- is due out in June. Hip or danger-oils?
HIP!
Nickleback I didn't go. I'll never go.
There is nothing more disturbing than
the noise that is known as Nickleback,
except for turtlenecks. Hip or danger-ous?
Dangerous!
Grab Bag
The Sopranos The Sopranos final epi-sodes
have started this month!!! Woot!
I have my Tivo set. do you? Hip
or dangerous? HIP!
Save the Whales Some coun-tries
are refusing to listen to the
facts about whale research re-garding
over-fishing and sonar
usage in the oceans. Japan rou-tinely
refuses to recognize the
moratorium on whaling and the
U.S. Navy routinely uses deep
underwater sonar that is said to
damage the whales' hearing. Its
time to save the whales again,
damn it! Hip or dangerous?
HIP!
Grizly Bears: "I'm sorry your
not on the list..." The Grizzly
Bear has been taken off the En-dangered
Species list without
sufficient evidence. this may
lead to the bear suffering dam-aging
progress and future assis-tance
in the near future rather than lat-ter.
Hip or dangerous? Dangerous!
Saint Patty's Day Saint Patty's was a
blast did you have a blast? Hip or dan-ge•
ous? HIP!
300 I saw the movie. I liked it, it was
alright. I could help but laugh at the sub-liminal
political messages though. Hip
or dangerous? DANGEROUSLY HIP!
New Nikon COOLPIXP5000 The new
10 mega pixel point and shoot camera
has finally been shipped to sellerates. Is
this the new camera to put Nikon back
on the map? Hip or dangerous? HIP!
ASMSU-B ELECTION Did you vote?
Did I vote? Does anyone care? Hip or
dangerous? Dangerous!
PAGE 12•THE RETORT
Harry (Mike) Harkins , shown on right, accepts the title of Montana
Collegiate Conference Champions on behalf of a proud
Yellowjacket basketball team in 1963. Photo from The Retort
archives.
POLICE
PROTECTIVE
Assocumose
4)04.111Z4V!::+e, t51, ,,,
The performance of lefthanded starting pitcher Ben Lewerke is one reason why Yellowjacket
baseball is much improved this season. Photo courtesy of MSU-Billings Athletics
YELLOWJACKET 4iTh sAk LETICS
Former Jacket Coach Harkins Now a Hall of Famer
Jed Barton
The Retort
Former Eastern Montana
College (MSU-Billings)
Yellowjacket men's basketball
coach Mike Harkins has been
inducted as a member of the
National Association of Inter-collegiate
Athletics (NAIA)
Hall of Fame In awarding him
this honor. the NAIA recog-nized
Harkins not only for his
achievements at EMC, but aslo
for This dedication to and
knowledge of the game of bas-kkeettbbaallll,,
which are second to
none." The honor was be-stowed
upon Harkins just prior
to the NAIA men's basketball
national championship game
on March 13.
Harkins coached the
Yellowjackets from 1960 to
1977. coaching in 448 games.
He won a school-record 290 of
those games for a 64.7 percent
winning percentage. Even
more impressive is the confer-ence
record of Harkins's
teams. In winning 12 Confer-ence
Championships, EMC
posted a 154-29 conference
mark for an incredible confer-ence
winning percentage of
84.2.
In 1960, Harkins took
over a team that had won just
12 games the previous season.
He turned the Yellowjackets
into instant winners, going 16-
5 in the 1960-61 season and
placing second in the Montana
Collegiate Conference with a
7-3 conference mark. That
first season was merely a hint
of what was to come for EMC
fans over the next 15 seasons.
The 1961-1962 season
saw Harkins guide The
Yellowjacket basketball team
to its first conference champi-onship
in school history, when
the team captured the Montana
Collegiate Conference (MCC)
title. That championship sig-naled
a new era for the
Harkins-led Yellowjackets.
They followed the school's
first-ever championship with
conference titles in 1962-63,
1963-64, 1964-65, 1966-67,
1967-68, 1969-70, 1970-71,
1971-72, 1972-73, 1974-75.
and 1975-76.
After winning the MCC
championship in 1963-64,
EMC went on to win the Dis-trict
#5 title and advance to the
NAIA National Tournament in
Kansas City where they lost to
eventual national champion
Rockhurst. Harkins would
lead the Yellowjackets to the
NAIA District Championship
and the NAIA National Tour-nament
a total of 10 times in
his career.
In 1964-65, EMC won its
second-straight NAIA District
#.5 championship and ad-vanced
to the National Tourna-ment
for the second year in a
row. The Yellowjackets de-feated
Central Washington in
the first round for their first
National Tournament victory.
For his turnaround of the
Yelloifsjacket program and the
team's dominance during his
tenure. Harkins was named the
conference Coach of the Year
a total of eight times. In his
final season with EMC. 1976-
1977. Harkins won his twelfth
conference championship, ad-vanced
to his tenth NAIA Na-tional
Tournament, and was a
finalist for the National Coach
of the Year.
Following his retirement
from the Yellowjacket bench,
Harkins continued making -a
name himself nationally as a
basketball writer. Harkins
wrote 18 books on basketball
and authored 50 magazine ar-ticles.
Among the many inno-vations
to the game to which he
is credited is the development
of the "Monster Zone" defense,
a slightly modified version of
the zone defense, which pro-pelled
Jerry Tarkanian's UNLV
Runnin'Rebels to the 1990
NCAA Division I national
championship.
In addition to being a
member of the NAIA Hall of
Fame, Harkins is also a mem-ber
of the EMC/MSU-B athlet-ics
Hall of Fame and a Profes-sor
Emeritus of Physical Edu-cation
and Health. In 2006 a
bronze bust of Harkins was
placed in the lobby outside of
Alterowitz Gym.
Jacket Baseball Reaches .500 for the First Time
Jed Barton
The Retort
The MSU-Billings Yellowjacket
Baseball team (13-13. 6-10 1-11C) has
reached an important milestone on the
road to becoming a competitive pro-gram,
as for the first time since baseball
came to MSU-B last year, the Jackets
have a record that is at or above the .500
mark. MSU-B climbed to the break even
point by virtue of going 10-2 on a re-cent
road trip. This trip included a pro-gram
best of eight wins in a row. "The
biggest thing we took away from this trip
is that we learned how to win" said head
coach Chris Brown, "Once you know
how to win, you find ways to win. Now
we are .500. and that is huge."
Yellowjacket pitching continues to
get better: during the recent bout of suc-cess
the MSU-B staff lowered the team
E.R.A a little more than half a run, from
5.97 to 5.45, and starters Ben Lewerke
and Brian Strom each posted two wins,
including a complete game shutout for
Strom against Oklahoma Panhandle.
The biggest improvement on the mound
for the Jackets, however, has been in
the emergence of a true closer in sopho-more
right-hander Mike Cease, who
came out of the bullpen to appear in
seven games. Cease has chalked up a
1-1 record with five saves and a .000
E.R.A in eight and two-thirds innings
pitched. Cease's three saves and one
victory in relief during the sweeps of
Oklahoma Panhandle and Texas-Per-mian
Basin were good enough to earn
him Heartland Conference pitcher of
the week honors for the week of March
5-11.
On offense, MSU-B finally got a
monkey off their back. In a game against
OPSU on March 9, Doug Longfellow,
Willie Critalc, and Patrick Smith each
homered to give the Jackets their first
three, and so far only, long balls of the
season. Overall. though 26 games,
MSU-B has scored 117 runs while bat-ting
.256, while drawing 18 walks for a
.345 on-base percentage. "Our approach
to the plate is better" said Brown of the
Jackets' improved offense. "We're a lot
more disciplined. We're working
counts. Last year we watched a lot of
first pitch fastballs right down the shoot,
and we got down in the count. We're
not watching those this year. The big-gest
difference is we're getting hits with
two strikes and producing runs with two
outs. We didn't do that last year. Hits
and good at bats are contagious."
MSU-B will look to continue their
winning ways as they continue with their
month-long homestand over the next
couple of weeks. Upcoming games will
be Texas A&M-International and Lin-coln
University. The Dustdevils visit
Cobb Field for four non-conference
games April 4-6. Game time on Wednes-day
will be 7:30 p.m. On Thursday the
two teams will play a doubleheader with
game one beginning at 2:00 p.m., while
Friday's series finale will be an _11:00
a.m. start. The following weekend, April
13-14, the Jackets return to Heartland
Conference play as the LU Blue Tigers
make the trek up from Jefferson City.
Missouri for two straight doubleheaders,
action begins both days at 2:00 p.m.
THE ftETORT• PAGE 13
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Junior Jessica Frank is a key component of a Lady Yellowjacket offense that is tops in
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Athletids
MSU-B Softball Recovers
from Slow Start
Jed Barton
The Retort
Following a disap-pointing
9-13 start to the
season.. which included
dropping both ends of
the home opener
doubleheader to the
University of Mary (a
first in program his-tory),
the MSU-Billings
Lady Yellowjacket soft-ball
team has re-bounded2winning
six of
seven Heartland Confer-ence
games to pull
within a half game of
Conference leader St.
Edwards. "We have
grown as a team since
the season started." said
head coach Kim
Lemmens, Our im-proved
play shows that
growth."
The highlight so
far for MSU-B has been
the hitting. Although not
as proflific as some re-cent
years, the Lady
Jackets have managed
to rise to the top of the
Heartland Conference.
knocking out a .279 av-erage
with 135 runs
scored and seven home
runs. Leading the way
has been sophomore
Terina Stacks with a .384
average, five home runs,
and 23 RBI's. The only
Achilles heel for the
Lady Jackets at the plate
has been their perfor-mance
with runners on
base. MSU-B has so far
left 199 runners on base,
including four games
where they stranded 10 or
more. "We have certainly
given ourselves opportu-nities
to score runs with
our hitting. It is just a
matter of taking advan-tage
by not leaving run-ners
on the base paths"
said Lemmens.
The pitching staff,
meanwhile, has begun
coming around from an
early season slump, drop-ping
the team ERA from
above 6.00 to 4.83 in the
last two weeks. Still.
Lemmens is concerned
about the number of
walks (108) allowed by
the Jacket pitchers, as
well as the number of
fielding errors (48) com-mitted
by the defense.
"Our pitchers and de-fense
are physically
sound; they go out there
and give it their all" she
said. "Most of problems
seem to be mental. We
get behind in a count or
allow a runner on base
and it rattles us, to the
point where the mistakes
pile up. and it becomes
difficult to get out of a
jam. But we are working
on it, and slowly but
surely we are improv-ing."
After beginning
the year with all but two
of their first 37 games
away from the friendly
confines of Cenex Sta-dium,
MSU-B will play
14 of their last 20 regu-lar
season games at
home during the month
of April. This includes
Heartland Conference
series against St. Mary's
(April 5-6) and Incar-nate
Word (April 13-
14), as well as non-con-ference
meetings with
Texas-Permian Basin
(March 31-April 1) and
the University of Great
Falls (April 22). "I was .
very impressed with the
crowd we had for the
one home date we have
had so far and hope
people will continue to
come out and support
the Lady Jackets as we
compete for a league
title" said Lemmens.
The Lady Jackets
will also hit the road two
more times when they
travel to Bismarck to
play the University of
Mary (April 10) and
Pocatello Idaho to take
on Division I Idaho
State (April 20-21). Fol-lowing
the completion
of the regular season.
MSU-B will travel to
San Antonio to partici-pate
in the Heartland
Conference tournament,
the winner of which will
receive the leaeue's au-tomatic
bid to the
NCAA Division II soft-ball
tournament.
PAGE 14•THE RETORT
The Intramural Scoreboard
Men's Basketball
Tournament
Tuesday, March 20
Top Ten 78,
Team Authoritah! 41
Luke's Team 76
Shocks 41
Edwood 62
Shake N Bake 13
Motorboats 60
O. E. 54
Wednesday, March 21
Gamecocks 68
Luke's Team 47
Wild Hog 103
Motorboats 53
Mullins From Deep 80
Top Ten 70
Edwood 43
Newbies 35
Women's
Basketball
Tournament
Wednesday, March 21
Necessary Roughness 33
Bobcats 22
Codi's Team 60
Hooters 36
Basketball brackets and other information about Rec Activities
is available online at www.msubillings.edu/recactivities.
ES Meet some of the
fabulous people
working for
Rec Activities!
Amy Benson
Hometown: Helena
Major: Business Marketing
Position: Front Desk
Favorite Sports: Volleyball. baseball,
basketball. and wrestling
"I'm so confused I don't know -
weather to scratch my watch or
wind my butt"
Nick Ottoy
Hometown: Miles City
Majors: HHF'-teaching option/Special -
Education
Position: Front Desk
Favorite Sports: Basketball and golf
"Don't sweat the small things"
Clockwise from bottom left (participants listed left to right):
Tyler Colton (92), Riley Burnham (12), and Chance McDowell (9); Bryce
Thomas (5), Chance McDowell, and Ryan Duncan (10); Robby Barnovsky,
Patrick Smart (86), Trent S. (57), Luke Barrett, and Bill Geary (99); Whitney
Sensever (39) and Danielle Musick (2); Charlie Johnson (80), Dylan Barnard
(87), Mack Andrews (61), Mike Gilbert, Rob Tedlund (17), and Vance
Vanlucheue (99); Vinny Castro, Robbie Barnovsky (13), Kyle Buckley (23),
and Luke Barrett.
Kyle Herman
Hometown: Billings
Mqjor: Health and Physical Education/
HHP
Favorite Sports : Football. basketball
"I seem to have a cramp in my leg
from battle, so I can't really kneel"
Ryan Petropoulos
Hometown: Albuquerque, New Mexico
Major: Nursing
Position: Lifeguard
Favorite Sport: Swimming
"I just kind of woke up here"
THE RETORT' PAGE 3
The Retort
Everyday, we encounter a world where
our industrial necessities have inbuilt them-selves
into nature. Streets are lined with trees
whose roots grow under sidewalks Our green
grasses our neatly separated by shiny chain
linked fences. MSU-B artist Jake Sorensen
explores this theme in his Senior Show, as he
attempts to merge natural and unnatural ele-ments.
"Throughout my life I have questioned
the juxtaposition of the disordered mass of ster-ile
industrial and organic objects we submerse
ourselves in and structure our lives around"
Sorensen says in his artist statement.
This exhibit, entitled "Transformations"
features two sculptures and ten pieces of wall
art. Sorensen says that the uniting factor
among the pieces is that they "all use at least
one element of industrial waste." In addition
to the scrap metaL all of the wall art is made of
encaustic. Encaustic is a form of wax paint-ing
in which a combination of beeswax, dam-mar
resin, and pigments are applied to a sur-face
to be shaped, carved and/or sculpted be-fore
it dries. Sorensen says that the medium
dates back over 2000 years and was popular-ized
in modernity through the works of Jasper
Johns The natural elements of the encaustic
represent the organic earth in contrast to the
industrial waste in the pieces. For emphasis,
Sorensen used warm orange, yellow, and red
pigments in the encaustic to contrast with the
cold metals. The encaustic and industrial waste
combine to form art which feels contradictory,
yet coadjuvant. •
One piece called "Scar" shows two en-caustic
surfaces bound together by rough metal
rings. "Sun Dial" includes a vertical metal arm
which is mounted toward the top and slightly
off-center of the piece. From there, concen-tric
circles in the encaustic radiate through the
artwork
The two sculptures continue the theme
presented in the wall art. "Ascending stack" -
is a spiraled wood structure in which the top
and bottom are bound in the middle by a piece
of metal. The bottom piece has smooth sides
with rectangular notches removed toward the
bottom.' The top piece is textured with thou-sands
of small horizontal carvings Equally
spaced metal rings protrude from opposing
sides and span the length of the sculpture. The
other sculpture, "Legend" appears to be made
entirely from metal. This piece features an
elongated pyramidal base which pierces a tu-bular
metal circle. From this doughnut shaped
piece, another flat half-circular piece with holes
is connected. Sorenson connects this sculpture
to rest of the collection by using warm oranges
on the base.
In constructing the collection, Sorensen
notes that his biggest obstacle was "making such
contrasting materials work together to make a
cohesive unit." Despite this challenge, he is
successful in creating an atmosphere in which
the audience feels discomforted by the raw :,
metal work while at the same time becalmed
by the natural components. In this show
Sorensen demonstrates his command of form
and balance, in which neither the industrial nor
the orpnic extreme overpowers the other.
"Transformations" is located in the stu-dent
•-
gallery next to the Northcutt Steele gal-lery
on the first floor of the LA Building. There
will be an artist reception for Jake Sorensen
from 6 to 8 p.m. on Wednesday, April 4 in the
gallery to which the public is invited to attend.