Yep, people use the aff action accusation as an excuse for being an underachieving slacker. Whenever confronted with that bullisht, I laughed and kept it moving. See, because no matter what they say to you, you did it (got in, got the scholly, etc.) and they didn't. Ha!

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Originally Posted by Kilajo

I don't think they have to be an underachieving slacker - and that's the worst thing about it. In my situation, these people were in my AP classes, with similar grades, and were supposed to be smart enough to "know better." They knew me, they knew my achievements, they knew how hard I studied. Hell, we were all in NHS together and part of student council, and shared several EC activities. That was the part that hurt me - this wasn't some ignorant redneck complaining about black folks achieving - these were my peers since I was seven years old, and all my life, I had considered us equal. And then, at the end of the day, I was just another ni**er. Reality check. Point - society.

But yes, @greenjumper, it's certainly a coping mechanism - but a racist one.

Oh and the WORST part (for me) is that growing up my father would always tell me to watch myself around white people (him being a "token" in his field, to this day) and that they will smile in your face and stab you in the back, and I'd reply, "Daddy, it's not the 50s anymore. My friends aren't like that - we're all just friends, it doesn't matter what color I am, it's 2000." (I had a diverse group of HS friends too) HAH I was so damn wrong! Lesson learned.

Originally Posted by CurlyElectra

I think for a lot of POC that live in a predominately white neighborhood and go to predominately white schools it's a rude awakening. For a lot of blacks in mixed environments too. I know it was for me living in "White Folks City, USA. I graduated college in 2000... but way before that I knew what your Dad said is the truth. My mom basically related similiar sentiments to me all through my teen years...and even my father was clear about my brother and I understanding those things. Not sure why my younger brother got it way faster than I did.

I think for me personally growing up mostly around white people..it took me longer to recognize the full truth of what "our parents" were trying to convey. The funny thing is looking back.. I saw all sorts of evidence to prove their point very early on. I think I just didn't want to believe it but deep inside.. I knew. Because what else can you make of.. "well you're not like them.. you are "different" everytime a racist conversation came up about black folks. And some of the answers I got when I got bold enough to ask.. "Not like them in what way ..how am I different ?" Would make your hair stand on end.

This kind of ish will PUT a chip on your shoulder if it wasn't there before that's for sure..but if you don't control it then you are giving in to your uncivilized animal side..so there ya go.

Originally Posted by *Marah*

Marah, I agree with you 100%. I grew up in a white neighborhood and did not have many black kids in my classes, and looking back on certain situations there were instances of racism that I didn't even realize were there at the time. Like if my best friend and I "did" something (she's white), I would always be the one getting addressed and yelled at. Or like when I was the only black lifeguard at the pool (hell, we only had three black families at my pool) the mothers would act like I was supposed to order their food from the clubhouse for them or clean up after them. Or if something turned up missing, someone always asked me about it - b*sh, I don't want your kid's raggedy a$$ toys, my parents can buy me my own damn toys.

People should be willing to stand by the things they say. Or they shouldn't say them. If your opinion can't stand in the light of day...maybe it should stay in the dark...in your head?