10 Small Screen Stars Who Bombed On The Big Screen

“Dude, bro! Can you believe the Entourage movie finally hit theaters this week? We’re knocking back some brewskis before checking out the opening night action, right? Because, like, Vinnie Chase is the man, but I’ve got a feeling this one might be a mess, brah!”

This conversation (or something scarily similar) is taking place in every frat house, man cave and dude den across the nation this week, as the world patiently awaits the silver screen debut of HBO’s most beloved Brosephs – the Entourage crew. While the movie version of the series promises a slew of crazy cameos and a good dose of fratty fun, the odds of it being a financial or critical homerun are slim to none. It’s cool, though – most of the show’s stars are used to bombing on the big screen. Adrien Grenier dealt with Drive Me Crazy. Jeremy Piven cooped with The Goods. If anything, it only made them stronger… or something like that. Here are 10 other TV stars who suffered a similar fate on the silver screen.

Larry David

Sony Pictures Classics

When it comes to small screen comedy, Larry David is a bonafide genius – I mean, the guy gave us Seinfeld for chrissakes. Then, years later when we least expected it, BAM! He bestowed the equally amazing (and HBO-approved) Curb Your Enthusiasm upon us. When we all heard he’d be starring in a Woody Allen film, it seemed like a match made in heaven – Whatever Works, we assumed, just might be amazing. As it turns out, the project was much more “meh” than masterpiece. Don’t even get me started on Sour Grapes…

Aaron Paul

Walt Disney Studios

In 2012, it looked like Aaron Paul’s acting career was on the upswing – not only was he killing it on Breaking Bad, he also blew critics away playing one half of an alcoholic couple in James Ponsoldt’s Smashed. Yup, things were looking up for Paul then, but post-BB, something went weird – it was as if the dude regressed career-wise. I mean, we thought he was done doing movies like Bad Girls From Valley High and Van Wilder: Party Liaison, but then he hit us with a big screen video game adaptation? Yeah, Need For Speed wasn’t really up to snuff – it bombed big at the box office.

Kaley Cuoco

Screen Media Films

I don’t know about you guys, but I can’t recall ever seeing Kaley Cuoco on the big screen. Sure, she’s a TV and tabloid fixture, but a movie star? She never bothered with that nonsense, right? Wrong! Like many small screen starlets before her, TheBig Bang Theory actress has exclusively starred in films no one felt the need to see – oh, and The Wedding Ringer. Seriously, does Authors Anonymous or The Penthouse ring a bell? For extra lols, Google the made-for-TV movie To Be Fat Like Me.

David Schwimmer

Miramax

Did you know that David Schwimmer was in one of the most miserably received movies of the last decade? That’s right – the actor formerly known as Ross Gellar had a small, super forgettable part in Disney’s disastrous John Carter. His other not-so-notable forays into film include roles in Big Nothing and The Pallbearer, for which he was nominated for a “Worst New Star” Razzie. To his credit, Schwimmer is still seriously solid when it comes to small screen guest roles – he’s also proven himself to be a half-decent director.

Eva Longoria

New Line Cinema

OK guys, I’ll come clean – I’ve willingly watched a couple episodes of Desperate Housewives in my day, and I’m sure some of you have, too. That being said, I can tell you for a fact that, while Longoria isn’t the most impressive actress to ever grace our TV screens, she certainly has a charm about her that seems fit for feature films. Unfortunately, that spark just doesn’t translate when blown up to 20-plus feet – nearly every movie she’s ever appeared in has bombed at the box office and beyond.

Ashton Kutcher

Anchor Bay

I’ve blasted Ashton Kutcher so many times online that I fully expect him to punch me in the face if I ever meet him IRL. Ashton, if you’re out there, just know that I won’t hold it against you if this goes down – you’ve had a rough go and I haven’t made things any easier. You deserve it. Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, Jobs. Just Married. Spread. I think you get the picture.

Melissa Joan Hart

20th Century Fox

OK, so maybe you guys weren’t all that into Clarissa Explains It All or Sabrina, The Teenaged Witch when they aired back in the 90s – that’s cool, there’s a huge possibility you weren’t a pint-sized female during the decade. However, for the purpose of this list it’s important to know that both programs were beloved by kid and tween girls everywhere in those days – Melissa Joan Hart was one of our heroes. Needless to say, we were pretty pissed after saving up our allowances to see Drive Me Crazy in theatres – even us nine year olds were like, “This is kinda bullsh*t.”

Jamie-Lynn Sigler

Le Petit Canyon

Try as she might, little Meadow Soprano has yet to see success on the silver screen. Despite being nominated for a slew of awards every year she appeared on The Sopranos, it seems like no one took Sigler seriously when it came to the big leagues – seriously, how has she only been cast in no-budget blunders like Homie Spumoni, Divorce Invitation and Jewtopia? If you ask me, it’s a travesty.

Laura Prepon

Quantum Entertainment

Nearly a decade after bailing on That '70s Show, fans fell in love with Prepon all over again when she popped up in Netflix’s surprise smash-hit, Orange Is The New Black. What was she up to all those years in between? Trying out the whole Tinseltown thing – clearly, it didn’t really work out. Prepon starred in a slew of intensely unlikeable films, most notably the mega-misguided Karla Homolka movie and an ill received gross-out comedy called Slackers (which I thought was pretty funny, but only because I have horrible taste in most things).

Michael Richards

New Line Cinema

Up until 2006, Richards had a hard time finding film roles that suited him. We all thought of him as more of a sitcom character than an actual actor – no matter what role he took on, all we saw was Cosmo Kramer. In this respect, Richards was kind of the opposite of a box-office draw – it was a little too weird to watch him in Trial and Error or So I Married an Axe Murderer on the big screen. After 2006, Richards had a hard time finding any film roles whatsoever. Turns out, he’s an awful human being.