about facing life with hope and confidence, no matter the diagnosis

I write because so many people have told me to write a book about my life, but I have always felt no one would believe this "stranger than fiction" life if I did write it all down. However, after my Dad died, I was continually plagued with his last requests-write your story, Cindy. God has given it to you for a reason. You can help people by showing them what God has done for you through the trials and tribulations of your life.
And so this blog...because I don't know how to write a book. I write just like I talk. So just expect stories where God has been protecting me, teaching me, molding me, refining me and that means through fire! I never know what to expect next nor should you. Seek the Lord while He may be found.

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I was speaking to a dear friend of mine from Tampa a few nights ago and she reminded me of exactly where I was a year ago. Since I do have a short-term memory issue, about the only thing I can remember is that I was recovering from a pulmonary embolism, a very large deep vein thrombosis-where the clot had come from, and not getting my blood count right from one week to the next (I was taking Coumadin). Regardless of all this, I was working and I know that during this time, God gave me some of the most incredible insights into Himself/The Trinity, that I have ever had, ever thought of, could have imagined.

I know that this very special care of me continued even as it seemed to many probably that God wasn’t with me or might even be punishing me. Au contraire! If you think that for one minute, please go read what exactly silver goes through to be refined! The silversmith never takes his eyes off of the silver that is in the fire-if he does, even for a few seconds, the silver could be destroyed. He knows that, so he never, ever takes his eyes off of the silver when it is the fire. And so into the fall, struggles with asthma still, then it was December and spinal meningitis. I lost more than money over that illness. If we had any reservations about moving to Atlanta, I think for sure, they were gone for good at that point. Christmas came and went, we thought we had found a place with a 3 year lease (God had a better plan of course) and on the day we came home, we found out we didn’t get it. We’ve been here in an apartment for the first time in our married lives because that was where God wanted us to be for now. Never would I have expected to have had another stroke, been healed, and then moved onto the job of my dreams all in 2 1/2 months time. But that is exactly what happened! Now 90 days into the job, I know that I serve a God of Miracles, an Amazing God, because only He could have put me exactly where I am today versus a year ago.

Of course I can not share what I am doing or even long term expectations, other than to say, again, that God is in this too! I always pray before starting my “hunting”. He knows the hearts of individuals that I need for my clients. He knows where those people are and I believe He leads me there. We both want the absolute best for that person and their life/families life, and the impact it will have on the firm, on clients, on so many people. It is very far reaching, what I do. I try to take care with great responsibility for my role. I hear over and over how ” different ” my approach is. Well, yeah, I approach it from what’s in it for you? not from what’s in it for me? or even for the client. Because in the long run, that’s what I believe God wants me to do. He is interested in my getting the best for whomever I am talking with. Period, end of statement.

First, let me say thank you to one and all who have hung out there and waited for me to come back to you! And to those of you who have joined the following I salute you!! Especially when you joined not knowing when I could come back, but here I am, no worse for the wear. Well, sort of! I mean, you wouldn’t believe what I had to do to prove to WP who I was, the owner of this blog, because stupid me had thought that the 2 step authenticator was something we had to do, not something we could choose to do. I must have read about it during my spinal meningitis cognitive issues is all I can trace back timing wise. I did go with the authenticator, but somehow neglected to get back up codes or anything to help me get in. For a little while it worked by hit or miss with getting a code, but obviously after May 2, it stopped. And then it was a matter of getting WP’s attention and finding out what I needed to do to fix the problem. This technologically challenged gal tried everything. I went to Google and did what they said to do. Didn’t work, obviously. And finally Diane, wonderful, Diane researched enough and got WP to tell us what was needed. Only about 3 hours more of phone time with PayPal, but it was so worth it today when I was told -here is the code to unlock your blog!!! Of course, I immediately disabled the 2 step authenticator! Would you believe that the very next page it sends you to, is to set up the 2 step authenticator? If you aren’t paying attention, you almost have it again!

So let me see if I can hit the highlights of this 8 weeks! I don’t think I have EVER been out of touch with everybody so long before. And God willing, never will again!

Everyone knows I started a NEW JOB on MAY 1. I still am THRILLED. Work-wise, it has been a whirlwind. I spent a week the first of June in Omaha. I got to know the people in the office there and worked training my young partner who is on his honeymoon this week! He got married last Friday! It looks like I may have landed a couple of major opportunities for us, but God is truly going to have to be in all of the details and keep me patient, because the client is slower than I would like. So what else is new, right? And on the other front, it is a matter of finding the people that God wants me to find. That is what I can NEVER lose sight of. NO DEAL is right if it isn’t right for candidate and the client.

On Saturday May 11th, I was to go to a Christian ladies lunch with my sister. We were to leave by 10:30 at the latest. On Saturday morning, she called me at 10:30 and said “where are you?” I answered “I’m at my computer, doing my weekly data entry that I have to do now, why?” She said, “You’re supposed to be over here, remember?” “For…?” I said. I had completely forgotten the date. We had not spoken of it in several days and my husband didn’t know the date I was going so he didn’t remind me and there I was in my PJ’s, absolutely mortified! This is what happens to you when you have had 3 strokes and spinal meningitis and they mess with your short-term memory. So this is a prayer request for ya’ll from me. Please pray for my memory to improve.

Another milestone in May was our 33 wedding anniversary. We went out to dinner at Bonefish which is my favorite restaurant. We had a lovely, special time. One of the Owner/managers came out and sat down with us since it was our special night and we were able to really reach out to her and invite her into our family as all of hers is in Alabama. In the restaurant trade, you don’t get to go home for holidays and she doesn’t know anybody in Atlanta-or didn’t until we introduced ourselves and I gave her our contact information. It’ll be just like having another sister, I told her.

Another fun thing I got to do was to go on a short little cruise at the end of May to the Bahamas. It was my sister’s B’day-a different one-and one of my daughter’s went, and a couple of my sisters’ friends and me. What a treat it was to get to go. I never expected to be treated like that, but that’s what happens when you have a sister like ‘Lou. She’s the best. I came back and the next cleaned my clothes, packed and the next day left for Omaha. Then came home at 1am on Sat. and at 4pm, my sister Holly threw a B’day party for me and her 2 sons (3 & 4) It was a wonderful excuse to get everyone together though. ‘Lou drove up w/her son Josh. One of my brother’s and his wife who live in Atlanta were there and my oldest daughter and her family and my youngest daughter and her boyfriend and then a close friend of Holly’s and mine-Jennifer and her boyfriend. What a full house!! but what a great time we all had! I am so thankful that we could all have that time together!! And the next day, those that could, went to Six Flags! that would NOT be me! I was dead to the world until 11:00 I think!

This last week was pretty hairy for us. Our little yorkie was sick. I kept asking my husband to take him to the vet, but you know how men are, they just won’t go to the doctor! Finally on Thursday, he took him, because I had been on the web the night before about his symptoms and it was obvious he needed care. Still at 11:30 that night, it was evident that he was worse, so off we went to the VET ER. I know that the Vet saved his life that night with all that she did for him. We were there for about 4 hours and she gave us meds to come home with and written out instructions to go by which was so helpful the next day. You think you will remember something as simple and yet as important as this, but you are so tired, that you don’t, hence, the written directions. I am thankful to say that after a very long week Sunday to Sunday, our Max is back to normal. So many times my husband said “I wish I could understand dog speak” It reminded me of a Christmas story I heard on a Tampa Christian Radio Station one year. There was family that had a prosperous farm. Father, Mother, Girl, Two Boys. All went to church except for the Father. He couldn’t accept what he couldn’t understand. His wife would smile an silently pray for him and take the children to church where they would learn about a Savior who loved them. One Christmas, the Father was asked by all the children to come to the church’s Christmas program as they were participating. He gave his usual reasons and heads bowed low, they left early for the pageant. The father noticed that his barn door was open as he was walking back up to the door of his house. “um, it shouldn’t be open,” he mused. As he walked inside he saw that a dove was trapped inside and trying to find it’s way outside. So he immediately began trying to “herd” the dove out the door! But he found out that doves don’t “herd” In fact the more he shouted and gestured, the more upset and flighty the dove became-flying higher in the barn and back into the recesses where it was dark and maybe it was safe. “What in the world is that stupid dove thinking? Doesn’t it know that I am trying to help it get free and out of my barn?” he asked himself. And then He asked himself an even more telling question, “if I could just speak dove talk for a minute, then the dove would know exactly where to go to be safe”. And of course as he said that to himself, all of a sudden, he understood the story of Jesus Christ. Why He Had to Come, Why He Had to Die, And WHY HE ROSE AGAIN! I know that every time I look at my little dog and wish I knew exactly what he is saying to me. I believe that some day I’ll know but more importantly the story of Jesus is brought home to us every day as we look at each other and smile, grateful he is alive and can “talk” to us, grateful he reminded us of an important lesson.

so I think that is enough for tonight. I know I was chatty Cathy, but like I said, so much has been happening, if I went down every day’s calendar, we’d be here till next week and then what would I write about? so for those of you who know of others who used to follow me and think I have died and gone to Jesus, please email them and let them no, I am still here! I need your support-your prayer support that is.

I can’t begin to thank all of those of you who have been praying for my sister Holly. She came through the operation perfectly and there was no spreading of the C disease as we call it.What was truly wonderful was my time with her. Holly likes scripture being read out loud to her as much as I like reading it-what a combination! and as we went from one scripture to the next-my favorite or hers-God really spoke to both of us. We even did some of this in the middle of the night when she couldn’t sleep. Just a few verses or a chapter and then we were right back to sleep. Since she was in a kind of sleep/over ICU unit, they were in and out checking on her regularly. I can tell you she isn’t interested in another visit! Still it was a lovely time to be together and one I will cherish always.

And then there was Christmas! All I can say is thank goodness for the customer service ladies at the websites. If not for them, no one in my family except for the guys would have had anything under the tree! I have to admit that even today I am still finding out things that I didn’t do quite right when I was ordering-the one package that I couldn’t catch-came to me here -after we left. It went back today. I had to order a duplicate when I realized what I had done! But to my surprise when I opened the package -what I ordered was also wrong! So it was a good thing it went to the wrong place. Lingering MENINGITIS ! I wish I could fix all the other things I have said or done in the last month that were just a little off. I know some have thought me wacky-I’d agree-now-hopefully it is getting better. I am not having to type a word four times to get it right. Even yesterday, I was having a lot of trouble that I know I am not having today so maybe the worst is over. I pray so! Back to the wonderful Christmas that was absolutely wonderful. I got to be with all of my family that lives in Atlanta-still missed the 3 sibs/families that don’t-yet anyway! Looks like I scored pretty well with everyone this year for a change in spite of myself. My youngest granddaughter who is 3 1/2 opened her present a HELLO KITTY sparkle tunic and leggings and promptly stripped down and put them on. Even my son in law wore his sweater all day. It was nice that everyone was happy. I was also — my daughter and son in law gave us a king electric blanket w/dual controls for our coming to Atlanta.Now I won’t have to worry about being cold at night unless I have a million blankets on me. (I am allergic to down)

We had the most wonderful dinner w/roast prime rib and mashed potatoes -yes from scratch! Fresh saute’d spinach, fresh green beans and some awesome sweet potatoes cut up, basted w/olive oil and then baked, and a caesar salad. We were so full! About the time I was halfway to maybe a little more through the dishes, Holly and her family showed up for desert. We had this awesome Tiramisu cake made by my youngest daughter, a pear and cherry tart by the older one, and a pumpkin pie brought by Holly along with lots of whipped cream. I will be eating soup and very small portions for awhile!

by the way, I checked my spelling on all of the underlined in red words. They are correctly spelled

Of course some of you may be curious-did we find a new home while we were there in Atlanta? yes, we did. I am still waiting for the Lord to work out all the details yet, but I know that He will. He has said so. This is the part I am not wacky at all about!! For the 2nd time He has given me the same scripture in Numbers 23:19-20. I am content with that. The first time, He healed my physical pain. Now, I need Him to do a lot of arranging,but if He can not, no one can and yet has He not said there is nothing He can not do? He has led us down this path, we believe-we have to follow.

And now it has been a week again! This time, except for a couple of Doctor appointments, I was in all week, but once again dealing with a bacterial infection. and not much voice either, but God has beenvery plain spoken with me and I have read the most wonderful scriptures and devotionals t hat were directed right to me in terms of trusting and of course faith.

I have not been given permission to share all of this yet. but I will share what I can.

the last 2 -3 weeks have been very difficult physically, regardless of being on antibiotics. I have still had C Diff which is not any fun to have even if you are on meds. and it was still August, my worst asthma month-it has felt like I have had it all month. Now it is September and I am starting it off the same way! And not only me, but I have watched as my family has been attacked. My sister’s husband started his chemo this week. Part of the “cocktail” is Rituxin. He was on it 20 min, when he started reacting.;He had hives, then the nausea , then a small seizure–all of this totally freaked both my sister and my brother in law out.And did I mention her youngest son had been out with a virus for most of the week, and her car engine blew something up to the tune $900$ She called me while I was on the phone with my new BSF Bible teacher–so we immediately prayed. Then my daughter called. She was on the way to the hospital with my 7 yr old granddaughter. She had a pretty bad case of bacterial pnuemonia!! I reassured my daughter as much as I could, reminding her that she had also had pneumonia twice one winter and her sister once!! That medically things were so much better now and that I was sure that our girl was going to be fine.I would be praying and so would all my great friends. (of course I was right. the doc thought 4 days. she was only in for 2)

Suddenly my eyes were opened and I could see that my family is being attached even more than usual==I immediately got on my face before the Lord. I asked Him for protection because I was going to have to confront this devil -, I am even having to type this a third time-my words keep disappearing on me! I remind you Satan who won? I did! Because of Jesus!! Go Back to Hell and Leave ME and MY FAMILY alone in the name of Christ Jesus the Son of the Living God!

So let’s go back to last Sunday night and my first scripture. I will type what I can, but there is a lot. I may have to let you look up too. or I am send you to a particular blog . Numbers 23: 19-20 God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, t hat he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill? I have received a command to bless; he has blessed it, and I cannot change it

Is that not just the most beautiful 2 verses? And given to me 2 minutes after I asked for confirmation! The Lord really wanted me to know, didn’t he? And then the next day He sent me to Avie’s Place a blog I follow-what a wonderful teacher of the Word she is! Today is was Psalm 119:1658 Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make you stumble. I wait for your salvation, O Lord, and I follow your commands. I obey your statutes, for I love them greatly. I obey your precepts and your statutes, for all my ways are known to you. This post was about peace, the peace you get when you trust absolutely. and then I think this was next although I wondered why it wasn’t 2nd. It is 1st Peter 5:8 -9 Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around likes a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. Now you see why I needed this verse reminder a little earlier?

Then we went to Ecclesiastes written by the way by Solomon -son of David, a man after God’s own heart When I read David’s story or even Solomon’s story or anyone’s story for that matter, I know once again that God can forgive anyone, anything, anytime, anywhere–JUST BECAUSE HE LOVES US. But we do have to be obedient…as Solomon discovered late in life as he also finally found the purpose in life. He had looked for it everywhere, in everything, But of course our purpose is only fulfilled in our Lord–when He fills up that hole in our hearts we all come with —and that hole is only filled by the Holy Spirit of God Himself, then, can you know your purpose. We will be talking about that in the future.”

So my week has been all about the Lord talking trust me, Trust me TRUST ME. The first night that He spoke to me, MY Lord God said “Cindy, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. ..but you don’t trust me.”…his first words almost and when I said,” no,I do trust you,” He again replied,”” no, you don’t trust me, but you will.” I have come to find out that Trusting the Lord with all my heart is the most important thing to Him NEXT to Honoring and Loving Him and Putting Him first in all Things.-which is the first and greatest commandment. And I will tell you that it is easier to follow than the learning to trust so completely. How very, very hard it is.But it is what we are called to do and when the Lord singles you out for something and He consistently confirms it, You know you have to do it, even if it scares you, and it doesn’t seem the right thing to do. But Obviously I will know soon if I must do this thing. and if I must then I will be calling on you to pray for me like never before. I feel like the t he guy in the Raiders of the Lost Ark or the sequel when t hey were looking for Jesus’ chalice from the last supper. He had to take a step out on faith that there was a bridge when there was no evidence of a bridge–but of course as soon as he put his foot out there-it was there for him. I am hoping for that for me. And I should be able to explain further later this week.

I have often described myself as a conduit and truly that is what I feel like most days! What a fun, terrific feeling, knowing that My God has me meeting all of these wonderful different people. People that you just don’t walk out there and meet every day! let me see if I can describe what one connection did for me. I met Valerie who lives in London, UK on a website. We had a lovely chat there and then she called me a couple of days later and what a wonderful conversation we had. We both were trying to network and see how we could help each other. It turns out that Valerie helped me a lot more than I have helped her-at least so far. She introduced me to an attorney in Washington, DC. I said, “call me!” So Tonya did call and we had a great conversation, infact, I want to speak with her more often. She really lifts me up! That day though she told me that she had lost her dad just 3 weeks previously; so of course, I told her all about GriefShare. I had her look it while we were on the phone and pick out a meeting close to her, with a convenient day and time. She said would go to it and we agreed to talk again later. The next thing I know she is introducing me to the lovely Janet -the author and coach I have already written about! Janet is published and does her own publishing with Ebooks too. She is one of the ones who is guiding me through my process. She has been more helpful than she knows. Most of all, she gave me validation like ya’ll do whenever you come or comment. Ms. Tonya got busy again, and this time she posted a reference for me, recommending me as a legal recruiter. And she put it in the very special group that she belongs to–ex-white house staffers! I didn’t know she had posted anything until I got an email from a man with the perfect background, experience and education for a search I am doing with an associate. I didn’t know where he came from-his cover letter had mentioned that his wife had given him my contact info. But this guy is in the midwest and Ms Tonya in DC, so it couldn’t be that way. I called Tonya anyway and she told me about the “special group” she blongs to on LinkedIn. So full steam ahead, I called the candidate who actually had some time to speak with me and I got most of questions asked. His wife also would like to send a resume, he told me but couldn’t talk now would email her resume and make an appt with me. I got her resume that night. What an incredibly accomplished, smart woman she is! She had been an undersecretary to the UN under GW Bush and that was the last job she had with him. Before that, probably the things she had done in the White House and the Pentagon-let’s just say I was almost speechless! That’s a biggie for me! What has been nicest of all is that everyone is a believer-truly easy to talk with and work with; another area of peace I could do with in my life.

Now can you believe all that came from one person’s referral? But that is what happens when you truly let go and let God take over your job or your business or in my case, what we call my practice. I know it’s not “me”, knowing me or listening to me. But I do know what a kick it is when someone you have invested in time wise and caring wise, starts saying back to you all the things you have said to them because now they are reaching out, most people for the first time. Are they so surprised when nobody bites their hand off! Yes, they are surprised, but now they have experienced that “rush”. I would not equate it, because that would be so wrong-but Paul even spoke about this “rush” this feeling of incredible peace, love and goodwill that comes over you when you have shared Jesus and of course it makes you want to do it again, and again. It works, you know, time in, time out, regardless of the industry of the moment, the state of our union and the state of the people of the United States. They can try and ban everything, but what they can not ban is in each believers’ heart–that alone is going to keep believers going during the bad, hard times coming.

And then there was another connection I made through LinkedIn. Just someone I ran across, saw the picture and the business and God said connect with her. So I sent out an invitation and forgot about it. She called me Monday and let me know that she had been out of town, but now was back and could we talk? I spoke with her abut 4-5 min, when all of a sudden, she loudly said STOP!, just STOP! of course I did, I wondered, what had I said or done wrong this time? I should have more faith in the Master and what He is about or I would not have thought that. Here is what she said. “Can I just tell you that 2 weeks ago, I prayed –I prayed for God to send me someone to help me. Someone with wisdom, who understood my business.” She continued ” I need help in knowing what direction to go, I need to get back to God and so many other things, Are you that person? And you are a Christian too? ” I answered, “yes and yes”. Deciding that we had much more to talk about than just a nice phone conversation, we arranged to meet for lunch. I must say, I don’t ever think I have had a 2 1/2 hr lunch before, but it was marvelous, wonderful, and amazing. For the first time, I was speaking to someone who had really done some walking inmy shoes in term of her personal life and her business life. Of course I can’t go into any details except to say that there is no doubt on our parts that God Himself put us together. What was wonderful is her immediate commitment to some times and events that will make such a difference in her life. Follow through is everything.

So you see why I might be excited all the time? I wish I were not so wordy, I would share more incredible connections that happened the week before. But I think I have said enough that if you want the same connections and excitement over what you are doing, You have to seek the Lord first. And when you have done that and trusted Him and the blessings start to flow, you know you are on the right path-you are at peace at last-which is just what you wanted all along.

In Isaiah 24-most of the chapter is about how the Lord God is going to devaste the earth-this will happen in those last 7 years before Jesus comes back to triumphantly defeat Satan at Armageddon. Already we are seeing the beginnings of this as our world’s face is ruined and people scattered due to “natural weather events” which are more violent, more often, in evey place in the world than ever in history.

Now we have mass killings starting-sometimes for stated reasons- like in the name of Allah, or “we hate everybody–but in Colorado, just a guy who went into a theatre armed and ready to kill and once done, just giving up to the police-no explanation, no brave words. I guess he didn’t like the movie! Of course this all plays into our Attorney General’s hands and his “we have no right to have guns policy” and his determination to get rid of what we Americans have always considered our inalieable right tobear arms. He will say if we had a no guns policy this would not have happened. I say if you are the criminal element, you can always put your hand on a gun. It will be the average citizen who will be hurt in this.

Still, the reason for my writing this morning is not my particular soap box, but to call you to pray for these families who have been suddenly hit by death or were one of the more that 40 wounded. Pray this :You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord , the Lord is the Rock eternal. Isaiah 26: 3-4

Remeber, the countdown has started in heaven. Things are only going to get worse here. Don’t delay your witness to your loved ones, your friends, your neighbors. What will it matter what they think when very soon they are facing eternity without a safety net? The ONE you could have told them about-if you believed enough, cared enough, loved enough-because this is what it comes down to. Satan will get them otherwise.

Oh how I love you all with the love God has put into my heart! How I understand so much better Paul’s writings now and his willingness to be poured out for those so that they too could know his Savior. As I told a Doctor this week, after you’ve had the Lord in your corner in the ER, how could you not tell everyone you meet of HIM and His love for them-and His Plan for their Salvation?

We came right back from Christmas in Atlanta to pre-op and then surgery on the second hole in my head. They opened up my scalp and followed the spinal fluid leak, along with looking for other holes. Once again, cutting off all that was growing out of the hole, then sewing my head back up. Believe it or not, I went home that evening-way too soon for me! I woke up at midnight feeling like my head was going to explode-pretty horrible pain. Putting ice on my head and taking the painkillers got me through the night, but just barely. And so began, my first week of the new year. Taking so much Vicodin (yes, prescribed dosage), my pharmacist said I had to switch to something else or I’d be in liver failure in 2 wks. So then there was the percoset which did a better job and I thought I was getting better. But oh no, here comes the headache again, only made worse by bending over or coughing, vomiting-the pressure was once again excruitiating! This time, the surgeons turned me back over to the neurologist. They said they had fixed what obviously needed to be fixed and had no ideas of where to go from here.

After speaking with the neurologist at length, a spinal tap was scheduled. I thought, “surely, this will resolve all my problems. I’ve just got too much pressure now after not enough pressure before”. Maybe true, maybe not, but unfortunately for me, the spinal tap showed abnormal fluid and being one of those 5% of the population that the tap hole doesn’t close, I developed a headache that became truly unbearable along with a case of atypical menningitis. I was a sick puppy and went back into the hospital this last week. Demerol every 3 hours around the clock was a wonderful release from so much pain for so long! After the 2nd tap and then blood patch, that headache was gone, the antibiotics had cleared up the menningitis, but the original headache was back-not beginning to be as bad as it had been, but the longer I am up, the worse it gets.

So after 4 days in the hospital, I came home and then we saw the neurologist again on Friday. He believes that I have to very slowly adjust to being up, take the pain meds, but on a reduced basis and eventually my head will settle down. It HAS had a lot done to it in a short amount of time! And the kind of surgery I’ve had could mess with the spinal fluid, so for now, I am trying very hard to take his advice. Just be up 2 hours at a time and then down for two. Hopefully, he is right. Worst case, we’ll know pretty quickly if he is wrong…

I had my brain angiogram yesterday. To the great surprise of my nuero doc, I do not have any fistulae, no arteriovenous malformations! I do have an inordinate number of blood vessels all over my scalp, but no tumor in the brain, no aneurysm. This is all great news!

The only bad news is that I still have a tremendous headache; I still have fluid in 3 pockets on my head; still have the nausea and dizziness–and NO ANSWERS!

I have to admit that at first, I cried. It is very frustrating to know that something is wrong with you, but hard to diagnose! I was very happy that it wasn’t as horrible a diagnosis as they thought, but all I was dealing with yesterday was an excruciating headache. After taking Vicodin, to no avail, they gave me Dilaulid as I am allergic to Morphine. Unfortunately, we very quickly found out that I am also severely allergic to the Dilaulid-it started with severe itching and then my asthma kicked in and very soon I was coughing and wheezing and not getting my breath. Thank goodness for one of the nurses who is also asthmatic-she got me the right meds pretty quickly, but I still had to stay overnight in the hospital. It was 3 in the morning before I was really able to settle down and sleep.

Needless to say, I scared my neuro doc to death! He is not used to dealing with asthma or any side effects from meds. I told him I am a walking “Murphey’s Law” when we first met. I think he believes it now! The next step is a confab between him and all the nuero docs at USF. He will present my tests, scans, notes and his findings on Tuesday to them and hopefully someone will have an idea of what I have or what to do next!