It is a taboo for a man to remain unmarried in Nigeria, which is why many successful men are swarmed by eager women who would do anything in order to bear Mrs. X. The truth of the matter is that Nigerian men prefer certain types of women for marriage and they prefer certain types of women just for sex and nothing more.

Most men will give their right arm to date and marry a light skinned girl. In the olden days (and now) light skinned girls attracted more suitors and their bride price were quite exorbitant. Light skinned women are always the centre of attraction and most men who date them believe that marrying (a much coveted) light skinned girl will do wonders for their egos.

Most dark skinned women have taken to using skin bleaching crèmes in order to compete with their fairer counterparts.

Women With Ample Flesh

Most Nigerian men will not marry a skinny woman but they would rather sleep with her instead. Many men from the western and eastern part of Nigeria believe that a woman is more beautiful if she has ample flesh, some men have been known to date only women who have big butts! Most Yoruba men are of the opinion that sleeping with a skinny woman is like sleeping with a man, but sleeping with a woman that has some ample flesh will give them something soft to hold on to.

Understanding Women

An intolerant woman will sure have a hard time finding a man to settle down with. No Nigerian man wants a woman who will grill him at the slightest opportunity. If a Nigerian man suspects you to be intolerant of his (sometimes) bad behaviour, he will drop you like a hot potato.

The trick most women employ is to become his legal wife first, and after the wedding (now they have a firm foot hold) they’ll draw up a list of do’s and don’ts for their husbands to abide by.

Hardworking Women

Most men in Nigeria will never consider marrying a woman who is not gainfully employed or runs a business of her own. Gainfully employed women are at the very top of a searching bachelor’s list. The present economic situation in the country is not making things any easier for men, who are mostly the bread winners of many Nigerian families. Most men want a wife who can help support the family (financially). Most women and a few men still believe that it is the man’s responsibility to provide for his family and allowing a woman to do part of his job is nothing but an insult to his manhood.

Have you had one failed relationship after another? Are you tired of waiting for the right guy to come along? Why not go out and find him yourself? To get the right man, use the following strategies.

1

Live your own life. The best thing anyone can do to be more attractive is to lead an interesting, fulfilling life; only deeply manipulative or insecure people want to be with someone who has no side interests, activities, friends, or hobbies. Think about your own tastes: would you rather be with a man who spends his weekends hiking, traveling, playing cello, and taking you to dance classes or one who sit in his living room playing video games and catching up on his favorite shows? Hold yourself to these same standards by spending plenty of time with your friends, pursuing your own interests, and developing new hobbies. (In fact, you may just meet some interesting men while you’re there!) Don’t drop these things the second you meet someone; make them integral to your experience. You’ll find yourself happier and more independent while you’re at it, which will help steer your dating decisions and make you more compatible with interesting men as well.

Don’t be needy. Neediness repels most romantic partners – and the ones it attracts tend to be unbalanced in a complimentary way (ex. controlling). Read How to Stop Being Needy if this is an ongoing issue for you.

2

Look in all the right places. Start by imagining the type of man you’re looking for. Make a list – at the top of which should beresponsible, respectful, andhonest – of characteristics, quirks, and deeper-level traits that you want in a man, but be careful not to get too caught up in non-essentials (ex. brown-haired) or you may find yourself writing off some real gems. (If you find your list goes on and on, you might have some soul-searching to do.) Then, imagine where that type man would be. Would he be hanging out at a bar? Or, more likely, would you find him golfing, hiking, getting an education, or pursuing some other similar activity? Make a list of 10 places that you would want your future husband to frequent (from art galleries to bookstores, anything goes as long as you are legitimately personally interested in what happens there and would choose to go there on your own). Finally, make a point of going to those places whenever possible – as long as you continue your own, fulfilling personal life. You’ve probably already found that you are meeting more men just by pursuing your passions!

3

Get over past hurts. Letting old wounds spill over into new relationships, whether by reliving the same power struggles over and over again or by looking at your wonderful new partner with a skeptical eye, is one of the fastest ways you can either pick the wrong guy or sabotage a budding relationship with the right one. Learn how to cope with emotional pain or, if necessary, deal emotional abuse so that you can see your new relationships for what they really are.

4

Dress in whatever way makes you feel comfortable and confident. Never feel that you should have to dress in a sexually provocative way to attract a man. In general, women dressed in a way that is either too sexual or too prudish have a harder time gaining traction with men they don’t know yet; a woman who dresses in an overly sexy way looks like she’s trying too hard to get attention, but a woman who is dressed in an overly conservative way looks like she’s suppressing her natural self. All men are a little different, of course, but if you want to dress like a lady, you will attract men who are looking for a lady.

Make a point of confidently expressing who you are, instead of seeking approval or validation through your clothing.

5

Refine your flirting technique. The best flirting skills to use on men tend to be physical ones. This doesn’t mean you should be overtly sexual. When you see a man who interests you, make eye contact and smile; studies show that smiling is the single most effective thing a woman can do to look more attractive to men.[1]The classic look you’ll see is this: a woman makes eye contact, notices the man watching her, blushes, and looks down; then she bravely draws her eyes back up and smiles again. (That description may be a bit too demure or feminine for your style, but adaptations on it hit a chord for men.) However, confidence is key, and subservience rarely is attractive to good men (unless that is your cultural norm). Keep making eye contact and smiling, but don’t be creepy. If he looks shy and isn’t approaching you after awhile, give him a wink; if he looks uncomfortable and avoids eye contact, pick a different target. Read How to Flirt for more advice.

Once he approaches you, lean back and relax. Now is his turn to talk to you. Have fun and joke with him: gently tease him a little – nicely, not sexually. Tell him one thing exciting in your life, but focus on asking him about his life and commenting on it positively. If you’re still attracted and he makes you laugh, touch his arm. (Don’t look at your hand, but notice how he reacts.) Continue to touch him at intervals. If he starts to look uncomfortable, back off with both your body language and energy level.

Realize that many men love the process of pursuing a woman. This doesn’t mean you should play games with him. It does, however, mean that often men like to initiate a kiss, initiate sex, say “I love you” first, ask a woman on a date, ask her to be his girlfriend and ask her to be his wife. However, there are obviously some cases where men are shy and therefore don’t like to make the first move. This can happen at times when you either haven’t given them enough encouragement or they’re simply shy. During the first meeting, after you’ve made a connection and closer to when you both have to leave, mentioning a restaurant you’ve been itching to go to, some hobbies you like, or the fact that your activities for that weekend have fallen through may help to bring the process along. Don’t be afraid of giving him your telephone number; this is a harmless gesture, not a marriage proposal.

6

Spot red flags. It can be hard to tell whether or not someone you’re interested in is exhibiting suspect behavior, especially in the early stages of a relationship when your emotions – and hopes – are running high. If you have a tendency to fall in with bad eggs, read any of the following articles that may apply. Forewarned is forearmed.

Avoid common dating mistakes. This is where many women, unfortunately, go wrong. Yes, many men on dates are interested in sex, but if he is looking for a relationship or marriage, he is more interested in getting to know the woman and seeing if she is the type of woman he could spend his life with. This is a slow process. He watches for clingy women who make him feel uncomfortable and instead focuses on finding fulfilled, interesting women who like him as he is. He doesn’t want a woman who will take any man and then seek to change him; he is looking for a woman who doesn’t need a man, but likes him in particular. When a man feels like things are getting too serious too soon, before he’s ready, he may run out the door out of fear of committing to someone he isn’t sure about yet. (In that sense, men are almost more serious about the dating process than women, and slower to commit because they are very selective.)

Do not over-share. Whether dealing with a man or a woman, a close friend or a stranger, someone on Facebook or in person, nobody wants to hear every detail of every event in someone else’s life. Talking your date’s ear off about hobbies, interests, gossip, or personal problems will send him running.

8

Make sure you are truly compatible. As the relationship buds, ask him what he wants out of life. How does he plan on accomplishing those goals? What is he going to do to accomplish those goals? Do his goals fit with your goals? Similarity in values, backgrounds, and goals are a good predictor of success. Don’t overlook large discrepancies in interest (such as whether or not to have children) in the hope that one of you will feel differently later; this is a very unstable, unrealistic beginning to what could be a long-term disappointment.

College education is also a very strong predictor of success. Among educated people who wait until after college to marry, divorce rates are well below the national average of about 50%. Don’t put off your own education – or let your partner put off his – in order to rush into a long-term relationship.

9

Develop a healthy relationship. It’s not always easy to know what a relationship is supposed to be and feel like, especially if have been hurt before; having one awful relationship can completely throw off your sense of balance and self-trust, making you second-guess your every move for years to follow. Read How to Have a Healthy Relationship for more details.

Understand that is impossible to have a healthy relationship without a disagreement now and then. However, a lot of promising research that has emerged from the Gottman and other institutions is giving our society a better idea of what behavior leads to healthy marriages. Surprisingly, the number of arguments a couple has is not the issue at hand. In fact, it was found that all couples have some unresolved issues, but successful couples are comfortably able to live with these issues. Suppressing emotions and pretending there is no problem causes some of the highest rates of divorce. Contempt, eye rolling, discounting the other person’s opinion, and showing disrespect are also extremely predictive of marriage failure. Men are especially sensitive to criticism, and criticism and harshness towards men is a high predictor of divorce. Living together has been shown to have no relationship to eventual marital success (and may even have a negative effect).

“Flooding” a man with emotions is a high predictor of divorce. Talk to friends first, organize your thoughts, and focus on simply expressing your feelings instead of judgments. Instead of “You always…” say, “I felt sad or hurt or angry…”

Loss of love and affection is an even more important determinant of divorce than conflict. According to one article covering Gottman’s work, “Those who remained happily married were very “in love” and affectionate as newlyweds. They showed less ambivalence, expressed negative feelings less often and viewed their mate more positively than other couples. Most important, these feelings remained stable over time.” [2]

Never treat your partner like a child: don’t talk down to him, don’t give him unsolicited advice, don’t cast judgment on him, don’t give him curfews or try to control him. Agree, if anything, to disagree about the way he does things, but accept the man as he is, appreciate him for who he is, don’t try to change him. If you can’t resist the urge, let him go for another girl who will appreciate him for him, not for what you consider to be his “potential”. This is why it’s important to find men similar to you by going to the right places. Get to know each other first; do not marry too soon (within eight months of first sight) for a longer lasting marriage later.

10

Don’t rush forever. Couples who end up being successful in love are not the ones who commit while still “starry-eyed”; the strongest couples have settled down from the initial hormone rush to a more stable love before marriage. Women could probably learn a few things from the stereotypical man. First, it is important to have a fun period of life in order to feel personally fulfilled and not resent others in the future, particularly your spouse or children. Next, it is also important to have fun dating without worrying about making commitments before you truly know your partner, and, when pursuing serious relationships, by ejecting men who are unsuitable so you can meet more suitable candidates. Being overly picky is not ideal, but never tolerate disrespect. The early stages of a relationship are filled with chemistry, so it is important for women to also take the time to “screen” men in the same way that men screen women.

DON’T BE AFRAIDTO SHOWSOME LEG

Summer is in full swing with the hottest weeks still to come. But there’s only so much a girl can take off to keep cool. It’s even harder for plus-size girls. How much skin is too much? What do you do if you hate your… [insert body part here]?

I’m a big believer in not letting your insecurities hold you back. In the past, I would suffer all summer in long jeans because I felt self-conscious in shorts. However, I live where it can hit 115+ degrees, and one day, I decided to stop hiding in pants all summer just to keep my legs from seeing the light of day. All of that time I was being self-conscious for nothing. Keep cool this summer and check out these great shorts styles.

Important things to consider when picking shorts:

1

Length (inseam)

Your school dress code didn’t steer you wrong. Place your arms at your sides. Where your fingertips hit on your thigh, your shorts probably shouldn’t be much shorter. On that note, the more leg you show, the longer your legs look. I personally prefer Bermuda shorts, which are on the longer side. Bermuda shorts walk a thin line of being too long and making you appear shorter. Don’t let them hit below the bottom of your kneecap.

Width of leg

If you are a pear shape with thicker thighs, shorts that are too fitted will accentuate your thighs. Select a pair that fits the widest part of your thigh and goes straight down from there. If you have the slim legs that come with an apple shape, a wider leg can balance a larger upper half, and create curves. The detail of a cuff can also help create curves!

Fabric/construction

It is especially important when you’re plus sized to put importance on the fabric and construction of your clothes — even shorts. A thicker, sturdier fabric will camouflage lumps and bumps and will retain the garment’s shape throughout the day. Flimsy cuts and fabrics will wrinkle and look sloppy after wearing them for several hours. A thicker fabric will also allow you to wear light colored shorts without appearing see-through.

Pocket placement

Pockets can either be your best friend or worst enemy depending on placement. A cargo pocket-inspired short will add width — great for those of you who are an apple shape who want to create curves and add width to your lower half, not so much for those of us with a pear-shaped body.

It’s been a few days since Kris and Bruce announced that they had officially separated and moved into separate homes, but things seem to be business as usual for the Jenners.

Kardashian momager Kris shared a photo of herself kickin’ it with her stepsons and ex – uh, sort-of-ex – Bruce. The photo, which was a blatant jab at TMZ, served as a virtual bitch-slap for anyone who said Kris had fallen out with Bruce’s two sons Brody and Brandon Jenner.

Brody also shared a photo of the family love on his Instagram with this epic caption:

“@KrisJenner and I are dating now and @sprandoni and Bruiser seem pretty chill about it hahah”

Take that!

That wasn’t Kris’ only shining moment on Instagram yesterday. Khloe Kardashianshared a moment with her mogul mama while the duo kicked it at the Hollywood Walk Of Fame.

Kris and Khloe showed out to watch long-time family friend and legend Babyface be honored with a star. Khloe shared photos of her and her mom as well as her other friends – namelyDiddy – showing their support.

Though Kris is newly single herself, it appears she’d rather play matchmaker than be re-matched. Jenner is reportedly hoping Khloe will consider kicking Lamar Odom to the curb for a younger man. Rumor has it, Kris wants to pair the 29-year-old with none other than DrizzyDrake!

“She thinks he’d be perfect for Khloe,” a source told InTouch. “Kris is sick of her daughters ending up with jerks.”

That’s an – uh, interesting match.

Regardless, Khloe seems to still be holding on to a string of hope. She was spotted out to dinner with sister Kim Kardashian and Jonathan Cheban yesterday – still sporting her wedding ring.

A different Spaghetti
Hello, this is the first time I’ll be writing and giving out the recipe for any meal I’ve cooked. So, here goes.
I won’t write the specific amount of things to use so as not to confuse anyone. But I cook for five people so if you want me to tell you, drop a comment and I will reply asap.

Add a little bit of vegetable oil into the water. This is to prevent the spaghetti from being clumpy.

Break the number of spaghetti packs you want to use and add them to the boiling water.

Debone and piece the stock fish, wash and set aside.

Scrape the Kpomo, dice it in tiny bits, wash with salt and set aside.

Bring a smaller pot, add the debonned stock fish and the kpomo.

Add salt, maggi, curry, garlic, chopped onions, add water to be just a little above the stock fish and kpomo. Then put on the fire to cook. You should know when this is done by tasting a bit of the kpomo and stock fish to check if they’re soft). There should be a little sauced water left in the pot.

Pour the contents into a bowl. Don’t wash the pot. Add your grounded tomatoes and pepper into the pot and put on the fire to boil. Keep turning until the tomatoe is a thick paste, then remove from the fire and pour contents in a bowl. By this time, your boiling spaghetti should be done and out of the fire. Pour in a sieve and set aside.

Take the pot you just removed the spaghetti from, dry and out it back on the fire.

When the pot is heated, add your vegetable oil and allow to heat some more.

Then add your onions and allow to fry.

Add the boiled mixture of pepper and tomatoes and allow to fry some more.

Add the cooked kpomo, stock fish and the sauced water. Allow to boil for a bit.

Young Henry today, died in a car accident in Abuja today on his way from his NYSC passing out parade (POP). This is really sad. I pray for his family to have the fortitude to bear this great loss. I also enjoin everybody who will read this to say a prayer for the soul of this young man who lost his life in his prime.