Hundreds of millions of dollars, most of them large denomination bills, marched on Washington yesterday to celebrate their newfound freedom and to call for a full and speedy program of civil rights and equal opportunities.

It was the greatest and most expensive assembly for a redress of grievances that this capital has ever seen.

One hundred and fifty-one years after Abraham Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation, and four years after the Supreme Court tossed out the corporate and union ban on making independent expenditures and financing electioneering communications with its ruling on Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission, and just days after the court, in McCutcheon v. Federal Election Commission, lifted restraints on the number of candidates individuals can donate to, this vast throng of unlimited money celebrated in march, song and speeches a freedom for which they have fought so mightily.

Anthony Scaramucci, a New York hedge fund investor and Republican fund-raiser, told the crowd that "we cannot be turned back," and Charles G. Koch, the libertarian-minded billionaire who supports conservative causes, said: "I'm glad I lived long enough to see this day."

As the afternoon sun, and a new day of unlimited political spending, beat down on the Lincoln Memorial, Justice Anthony Kennedy, the swing vote in last week’s 5-to-4 decision, delivered a moving tribute to the millions of dollars that, having come together from across the nation on this historic day, now stretched down both sides of the Reflecting Pool, seemingly without end.

"You are on the eve of a complete victory," Justice Kennedy declared. "You can't go wrong. The Supreme Court is behind you and your unlimited influence lies in front of you. I am only sorry that you, that I, that America had to wait so long to see this glorious day "

"In the First Amendment we trust!" announced Chief Justice John Roberts as the gathering roared its approval. "Free at last. Free at last. Thank, God, you are free at last!"

Chief Justice Roberts paused momentarily, a vision of serenity. His robe draped casually on his shoulders revealed a green T-shirt beneath and its message - "Dollars Have Rights, Too." A gavel hung loosely in his right hand, and as he looked out over the great mass of money, the chief justice seemed to draw inspiration.

"There is no right in our democracy more basic than the right of money to participate without limit and without end in electing our political leaders," he said.

As the chief justice went on to poignantly recount the unacceptable burden that had been placed for so many years on the rights of enormous amounts of money to participate in the public debate through political expression and political association, Karl Rove, seated amidst the hundreds of millions of dollars, his eyes moistened by the emotion of the moment, shook his head in disbelief, as if he saw a dream coming true before his eyes.

Page 2 of 2 - "This is the happiest day of my life," he said quietly.

But the millions of dollars gathered here in victory still seemed wary of the forces that had arrayed against them in past battles, sensing that this historic struggle for freedom was not over – at least not yet.

Some thought the Supreme Court’s decision still did not go nearly far enough, saying the ruling represents so moderate an approach that if any one part is weakened or eliminated, the remainder "will hardly be worth the cost of the paper the Constitution is printed on."

Some of the largest denomination bills warned that as defenders of free speech, "we are involved in a serious social revolution." They spoke of combating an entrenched system "built on immoral compromising and political and social exploitation" that is determined to muffle the voices of the masses of millions of dollars.

They also called on lawmakers to follow the court’s example and "ensure that money always has its place at the table," perhaps through the passing of a constitutional amendment.

"If we do not get meaningful legislation out of this Congress, the time will come when we will not confine our marching to Washington," the gathered money said. "We will march through super PACs, through 501(c)(4)’s, and through Swiss bank accounts."

"But," they added, "we will march with the spirit of justice and the spirit of dignity that we have shown here today. Because, one way or another, we are all in this together."

Philip Maddocks writes a weekly satirical column. He can be reached at pmaddocks@wickedlocal.com.