Saturday, December 22, 2012

ZEIT DER UNSCHULD

Had a delightful dinner with Daniel Hendrickson,the Skandinavian Muslim at a 24hour Kufta joint on Kott Busser Damn where we were served by a cocky pud of a waiter giving us big dique arrogance in spaids. Then it was off to Arsenal Inst für film und video kunst to see a program of films by legends legend and experimental feminist film godessa Sheila McLaughlin. Ms. McLaughlin was looking lovely and relaxed as she spoke before screening her short subject Inside Out 1978 with its major Ms. gorgeously stark patina. My favorite segment of the film features a Linda Blair-- Sarah: Portrait of a Teenage Alcoholic look-a-like caught in a perspiration loop.

The two narrative feature films She Must Be Seeing Things 1987 and Committed 1980-84 co-directed by Lynn Tillman where Ms. McLaughlin portrays the rebellious film startlet of 1930s Hollywood Frances Farmer are notable for their complete aesthetic rejection of typical narrative flow & ebb and the favouring of dark, moody and lingering set pieces. Like her sister in the cloth Lizzie Borden, I love how Ms. McLaughlin cares not a tinker´s damn for polished acting skillz.

Wanted to stay for the Q&A with Arsenal Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus & Heinz Emigholz, but I had to rush off to Kreuzberg to see my Malmö Art Akademy student´s performance with her art/music project Easter. Seen in the audience at the McLaughlin Kino 1 event: lovesexy composer and klavier dreamgirl Eunice Martin, handsome Markus Ruff of Living Archive Project, careerist Israeli filmmaker and bootypie Lior Shamriz, video artist Isabel Spengler and the director of the Klaus Nomi documentary The Nomi Song Andrew Horn.

Arrived at Lucia on Oranienberg Strasse in time to see my former student Stine perform abstractly with her very beautiful beau as part of a record release party for their latest album. It was almost as if I was seeing a live musical Sheila McLaughlin film unfold before my thyroid eyes. A very transporting evening as the bands dark wave soundscapes and monotonous singing stylings are quite infectious with its repitition for emphasis. I am expecting great things from Ms. Stine and her Easter Parade on the rote gravure.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

TAXIDERMIA TANTRUM

Went to the Kotti Shop at Adelberger Str 4 last night.
The place is the studio of my former
Weissensee Art Akademy student Annette Knol. Its located in the storefront of one of those
block tower Turkish buildings from the 1980s at KottBusser Damn.I had the hardest time locating the place
which features occasional art events and performances.The art/music group LeiseyLento featuring
Katja von Hellsdorf (nee Maya) and Argentine Cristian Forte performed
marvelously and kept the large audience in the intimate space deeply riveted to
their alchemic soundscapes.There were
moments that transported me back to 1977 LA punk rock heyday and underground
hangouts like The Hideaway on Traction Avenue even though LeiseyLento employ
acoustic guitar, loops and feral saw.At
one point both Katja and Cristian seemed to channel former Cockette Fayette
Hauser during her post punk incarnation in the band Interpol at The Brave Dog in Little Tokyo.LeiseyLento singing “The City of My Dreams”
harkened to Interpol´s ”The Girl Who Shot Andy Warhol”Magnificent.

My mother Mary Magdelene DuPlantier barely made it to the new
century.She died June of
2000.On New Year´s day 2000 when my
mother was in relative good health she requested two very odd things from me.She wanted me to get her some frog legs to
eat, and to give her a beating from a switch made from a tree branch.

My mother never resorted to corporal
punishment with me, though I deserved a good thrashing many times for my
insolent behavior as a strong willed child.She actually never raised her voice to anyone and barely spoke above a whisper, but when I
was being naughty she would calmly tell me to go out into the back yard and
bring back a tree branch to make into the dreaded switch.We would usually start carving it together
and it would difuse the situation and the said punishing item would never be
used.

Well on New Year´s day 2000 I went into
my mother´s yard of her dingbat mid century apartment building in Hollywood that my sister Teresita also lived in and calmly started
looking for an appropriate tree branch.Out near the kidney shaped swimming pool were several young, humpy Latino
men sunning themselves in the 70 degree plus winter weather.The landlord of my mother´s apartment
building became enamored with juicy Latino men after his wife died, and one of
the men gladly helped me carve a switch using his Swiss Army knife.It was very nice watching him work
experiencing the flexing of his pectorals and rock hard solid abs. My sister Teresita being a fag hag was quite friendly with all the youthful Latino men in her building who didn´t seem to have jobs and were always out by the tiny pool. I suspected that the elderly white landlord of the building was keeping all of these boys as his personal harem of able bodied concubines. Of course thats just conjecture.

By the time I brought my mother the switch
she had forgotten about the frog legs ---thank god because that would have meant quite a
trek by bus into deepest darkest South Central Los Angeles to find the appropriate soul food establishment that
carried this unique culinary dish.

***

I have a picture on my refrigerator of Surfer Mike,
the beautiful blondine bubble butt drug dealer to the Silverlake 40.Mike was one of those Silverlake characters
who appeared out of nowere in the mid 90s, but was actually quite sweet, intriguing and charming. Surfer Mike
was a good time Charlie with a sweet disposition and ran what I gather was quite a
success operation as a narcotics kingpin mainly supplying drugs to the gays of
Silverlake and Echo Park. Being someone who knows nothing about drugs as my drug of choice has always been alcohol. From the grapevine I heard that Mike was the overseer of the homos faction while Ms. Carrie French took care of the east Hollywood bohemian straights. Of course this was all a longtime ago so who knows what its like in Silverlake and the Eastside now.

Mike owned several houses around the Sunset Junction. One time at
Club Sucker we even shared a smooch, and his lips were soft and
entrancing.He told me that he only
liked Middle Eastern or Armenian men and many times at my Sunday afternoon punk
rock beerbust I would see him in the company of such said men.One time I went to the discount Tuesday
evening at Midtown Spa the bathhouse that caters to Latino, Black and urban men
and their admirers that is located off of skid row and Central Avenue in Downtown LA.I was shocked and pleasantly surprised to see
Surfer Mike come out of a room with a big strapping thugzilla jubas jubilee black man with his hair in cornrow braids dripping semen from his dinosauric member.I followed the pair to the showers and Mike seemed punch drunk from his
heavy bout of sexing from the black stallion.After his negro paramour left him in the open shower to take in the wet sauna, I approached Mike and he was stunned by
my presence and was trying to clumsily cover himself with a towel, but it was too late I
could see it all in its golden fury, and Surfer Mike had a lovely muscular frame, tiny waist and a rather plump
flaccid penis.Like so many men of his
generation he wore baggy clothing most of the time that camouflouged his body, but seeing him
naked was a joy complete.I didn’t want
to embarrass him further so when he made the lame excuse that he was at the
bathhouse only because his shower was broke I just accepted that and let him
nervously go on his merry way.He headed
towards the locker room area on the second floor so I gathered he had his fill of sex partners and was
going home.About an hour later I was
ready to leave and noticed Surfer Mike coming out of another room this time
with a young magnificently handsome and
well whung Latino man.

Don´t you just love it when I get all Proustian and start
doing my version of rememberance of things past?

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

WENN DER
KUCHEN SPRICHT,HABEN DIE KRÜMEL PAUSE

Because of
my background having worked for the New Frontiers section of the Sundance Film Festival
and at the Arsenal Inst für film und video kunst people say that i only like
obscure movies or way out experimental films. That is far from true.The other day a friend visiting Berlin asked
me to go with him to see the most mainstream of movies namely Skyfall the 007
film starring Daniel Craig and i loved that it was pure adreny escapism. It is hard for
me to think of any James Bond other then Mr. Sean Connery, and a blondine Bond
is a bit hard to swallowkin, but the rough faced Mr. Craig has a Napoleanic
macha quality that really does something to me.He is one hot tiny pud. He must be really short in person to photograph so tiny. Could he be tinier then Lady Tom Cruise? Maybe.

The best part of the film was the
geniustrata lovemaking scene between Craig and Javier Badem as a queeny villainess. Did i see Mr.Badem sneak a tweak of Mr. Craig´s pert bullet nips, or was that just my
imagination?

The two exotic bond girls
were also quite good, and I adore Dame Judy Dench who is quite a handsome
woman.

Kathleen
Hanna of Le Tigre and Kenny Mellman of Kiki & Herb fame and their new music
project Julie Ruin have a CD that is available at T. Cooper readings and
through McSweeny's book club.

I sing lead
on a nutters alternative version of their song „Girls Like Us“. I don´t know if
they used my crazed additional lyrics which i added or not, but if you come
across it check it out and tell me what you think.Special shout out to Felix Knoke of
Tenderloin who recorded my vocals at his home studio here in Berlin and sent it
to Kenny in New york.

Finished
reading the book After Claude by Iris Owen that Mark Morgan Perez gave me.It is a fun and zany read which i utterly
adored.

Met with a
cute young fan who took me to luncheon at Santa Marie, the Mexican boite in
Kreuzberg. Hadn´t eaten there in ages and the bartender remembered me.Don´t know if thats a good thing or not.Ordered their Guacamole with Chips and the
Ensalada Pera with Shrimps---lecker smecker!!!! Afterwards we had coffee and Margarete kuchen
at the Bierhimmel.Was waited on by a
cute, young German boy with a tight muscular frame who was very accomodating to
say the least.

Monday, December 17, 2012

JE NE JOUE PAS LA TROMPETTE

I love quoting James Baldwin. My secret admirer sent to the Arsenal a wonderful book as a present to the Vagimule Doll. The tome is called Dreaming in French-The Paris Years of Jackie O, Susan Sontag and Angela Davis by Alice Kaplan and I can´t put it down its so electrifying and there are some pics of a young Angela Davis from the early 1960s with a bouffant hairdo that I have never seen before. She looks incredible. I wonder who my secret admirer is. If she reads my blog I just want to say, “Haben sie vielen dank”. I am sure my secret admirer is a wo-man as men are never interested in me.

My brilliant young Malmö Art Academy student Stne O. Midtsaeter is in town with her band Easter who will be performing Thursday at Luzia at Oranienstr 34. Can´t wait to see them. Just watched their video on You Tube for the song Alien Babies which is divine and listened to one of their songs online called Champagne which I also love.

Rising Stars, Falling Stars-We Must Have Music Sunday night was quite intriguing with a screening of the Argentine film Toca Para Mi. The evening began with my partner in Tammy Grimes Mr. Daniel Hendrickson on piano playing Cholita´s Yo No Soy Puta Soy Princessa. Enjoying la pelicula de Evita- Arsenal Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus who along with right hand man Uli Ziemons are in the thrall of Forum Expanded Berlinale madness. Miss Stefanie gave the Vagimule a wonderful early Hannukah Kwanza present of stylish matching designer luggage so that when I take my next trip I won´t be looking shabby at the boutique hotel lobbies I seem to inhabit on a regular basis. Incognito checking out the Arsenal was Carnegie Int´l curator Dan Byers with hunky Photios Giovaris of Callicoon Fine Arts who was swooning over Little Alex of Macedonia who was also getting major sex attention from junior art shtar Matthew Brannon. Real life Argentine music and kunstler Cristian Forte and his Leisey Lento partner Katja von Hellsdorf royally held court while enjoying a red vino buzz. Catch Leiseylento Wednesday when they perform at the Kotti Shop. Piero Bellomo of La Colleczione was looking as handsome as ever. Earlier I had breakfast with Pierro Bellomo and Daniel Hendrickson at the new Sonnen Alle boite Bath Medina aka City House from the same people that have the restaurant City Chicken.
Jake the blondine financier from Modesto, CA., who is the nephew of Hollywood director George Lucas and has been living in Berlin for three years was flirting with Ms. Davis along with his pretty Austrian child bride David. Note to men of Berlin. If you want to live a long time on this planet brazenly flirt with Vaginal Davis. Its good for your health and well being.

A publicist for the new film remake of Anna Kerenina starring Kira Knightley emailed me a few days ago to ask if I had gone to the press screening and what did I think of the film. I went to the screening ages ago, and had forgotten to jot down a few lines about the pic so I will remedy the situation by saying that this version is quite a visual treat mainly because of the costumes, set design and the youthful male beauty of Aaron Taylor-Johnson who is this generations Maxwell Caulfield. Not only is the gorgeous manchild British like Mr. Caulfield but he is married to director Sam Taylor Johnson who is some 23 years his senior just like Mr. Caulfield´s significant other Juliet Mills of Nanny & the Professsor fame. Mr. Taylor-Johnson is only 22 and is already the father of two small children.
Once I was on a flight from LA to New York with Miss Juliet Mills, Mr. Maxwell Caulfield and their teenage daughter. Mr. Caulfield spent most of the time in the back galley doing sit ups and push-ups to maintain his bountiful pecs and abs no doubt. Who can forget those classic pics of him from the 80s clad in nothing but red shoes or his shirtless self in the Penelope Spheeris film Boys Next Door along with male ingenue Charlie Sheen.
Miss Mills and her daughter were holy terrors to the trolley dollies on the flight we were on. I guess having once been a big celebrity and having now to fly coach can turn anyone into a madwoman et charliot.