Friday, February 15, 2008

Nova Albion

**Sir Francis Drake, legal discoverer of California for England, and all around swell guy.****

Sir Francis Drake was famous for many successes on the high seas. As an English raider of Spanish merchant ships, a successful businessman, and most noteably as the first man to circumnavigate the globe. There is, however, one thing he is NOT well known for. Sir Francis Drake laid claim to California for the British Crown on June 17th, 1549. He named it Nova Albion. Fleeing the Spanish who had been hunting him for his crimes against the crown, he was searching for the fabled Northwest Passage in an attempt to slip back to England safely.

Sliding into what is now San Francisco Harbor, he landed and "asked the Indians for the legal assumption of their land. Since they didn't speak English, he took that as a "yes," and set about proclaiming "Nova Albion" for the Queen of England. He created a plaque for posterity, then left. Flash ahead to 1936. A man named Beryl Shinn was walking along the dge of the bay, just below the Golden Gate Bridge. He flipped over a random rock, and saw something brassy...

**The Golden Hind, the first ship around the world***

Taking it to the University of California many months later, it was cleaned and checked out. The plaque read as follows..

BEE IT KNOWNE VNTO ALL MEN BY THESE PRESENTS IUNE 17, 1579 BY THE GRACE OF GOD AND IN THE NAME OF HERR MAIESTY QVEEN ELIZAVETH OF ENGLAND AND HERR SVCCESSORS FOREVER I TAKE POSESSION OF THIS KINGDOM WHOSE KING AND PEOPLE FREELY RESIGN THEIR RIGHT AND TITLE IN THE WHOLE LAND VNTO HERR MAIESTIES KEPING NOW NAMED BY ME AND TO BEE KNOWNE VNTO ALL MEN AS NOVA ALBION FRANCIS DRAKE

The plate was sent around the world and authenticated. Fortunately enough for Californians, the British have enough trouble with traffic, papparazzi, pollution, smog, and crime....not to mention roaming packs of coked-up Hollywod starlets cruising in Bentleys....to lay down legal action to California.

***The seal of Sir Francis Drake*********

Thanks God, because British food is brutally unpalattable, and they don't know how to make chile rellenos at ALL!