I heard a good one> My mother was explaining to an 11 year old who goes to hell. her explanation was. If you knew god and turned your back on him you will go to hell. If you never knew god he will have mercy on you and you will go to heaven. If you know god and don't live by his teachings you will go to hell. And then explained that an Atheist "like me" will go to heaven because I never blieved in god. I think she confused herself.

Also, the phrase : "He who does not pray to the Lord, prays to the devil." is a classical bifurcation fallacy, and that is why its so stupid to say; regardless of any sort of underlining absolutes implied.