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Guys, tonight is the second of two Internet Read Alouds in consecutive weeks, and, uh, I’m impressed by people who run actually weekly shows because turns out it’s hard! We’ll be back to our usual once-a-month schedule after this, but please reward my hard work and dedication by coming to The Internt Read Aloud: THE DOG DAYS OF SUMMER at 8 pm, if you are in or near Los Angeles. I promise we’re all funny!

“Kudos to the Rex Morgan colorists who can tell that guy and his weird kid apart well enough to give them different colored shirts. That’s more than I could handle.” –Roto13

And your very funny runners up!

“That guy we were chasing had no advance warning of the object which knocked him unconscious! If he wasn’t Spider-Man before, he is now! If he was Spider-Man before, he’s … Double Spider-Man?” –A Concerned Reader

“I feel a more important question is exactly what did Gil use to make that ‘lemonade’? It can’t be water, the ice cubes have sunk to the bottom. 100% ethyl alcohol has a low enough density to let ice sink, so maybe he’s mixed himself a nice cocktail of Everclear, a hint of urine for color, and some ice.” –Dmsilev

“‘Did you pack any jorts, Corey?’ ‘Nine pairs, Dad.’ ‘Hmmm. That may be cutting it close, but it’ll have to do. TO THE AIRPORT!’” –Joe Blevins

“I think, based solely on my own prejudices, that Tommy was RAISED Catholic, lapsed into meth dealing, found the Evangelical Church of The Tiny Bible in prison, was saved from that cult when he got out and no longer had to swear fealty to Tiny to keep his teeth intact, and is now heading back to confession for the first time in a LONG time indeed. I hope that priest has all day.” –Sally

“It’s unsurprising that Marvin’s art would consist of brown excretions. I bet the crayon is scented.” –nescio

“I prefer to think that Jeffy is crying, knowing that he’s gone too far this time but — at the same time — admitting that he’s too far gone to really care. He’s hitting the bottle hard, damnit, and none of ‘Mommy’s Rules’ about appropriate syrup consumption matter any more.” –Richard

“I was going to joke ‘Leroy watches hentai lol’, but just look how traumatized he is. He’s living through an episode of monstrous bodily horror as his eyes burst out of the confines of their sockets, and even now at the worst moment of his life — one worse than any nightmare Leroy’s mind could ever have dreamed up — his wife turns away and mocks him. He knows there’s nothing he can do to stop the forcible reshaping of his skull by powers unknown, but even in his resignation, he still clearly feels a gnawing sorrow for the man he once was and fear at the monster he is becoming. Also, Leroy watches hentai lol” –Schroduck

“Kid, you’ll have to settle for a mango or something. We’re hundreds of miles from pawpaw territory, and they don’t ship well.” –Peanut Gallery

“I don’t think it’s ever been addressed but are the characters in Shoe normal bird size with adorably tiny furniture or are they human sized but the trees are absolutely gigantic? These are questions that keep me awake at night.” –Escape Zeppelin

“Hey, way to suspiciously name-drop Doris the violent ex on the way to the wedding, Rex Morgan team! Seeing as how (1) there are way too many characters and storylines no one cares about in this strip, (2) all of said boring characters are going to Vegas, and (3) Rex hasn’t used his medical superpowers in a while, my hope that this strip can be saved through cast reduction via Game of Thrones-style wedding violence as provided by Doris is now in play! Rex can use his doctor skills to heroically save one of the characters. I’m thinking June.” –Drew Funk