A. That everyone pulls his/her weight, both in the kitchen and in conversation.

B. Two days off from work!

C. That my friends and family express their awe for all that I did in a handpressed, promptly mailed thank-you card.

ANSWER KEY:

Mostly A's:The Communist

At your house, everything's gravy, even if you forget to make the actual gravy. Your night will go over without a hitch if you delegate and keep your right-wing neighbor from starting in on taxes.

Mostly B's:The Anarchist

Your holiday is all about breaking the rules. Leave your square family at home, invite some friends over for whatever hodgepodge of a meal you can pull together, and blast some Rancid. (Sorry, Grandma!)

Mostly C's:The Dictator

You'll accept nothing less than a Rockwell-perfect meal--even if it kills you (and your guests) in the process. Start carving those radish rosettes!