I think I may have lost the ability to write, speak and function. These are new ads and additional behind-the-scenes images from Gabriel Aubrey’s new ad campaign, “Shirtless, Damp Hot Piece Tries To Sell You Something, And You Are Welcome.” It’s actually for the “Charisma” line of… damp hot pieces? Bedding, I think. Yes, “lux linens, towels and bedding.” I don’t know if Charisma guarantees that Gabriel’s naked ass will have touched every fitted sheet, but a girl can pray. And these aren’t even the online images, either! There’s more here, at Magic Bullet Media – they also have videos!!! I’m sending Magic Bullet Media a muffin basket.

It looks like very little gets in between Gabriel Aubry and his sheets! The sexy model sizzles as the face, or should we say body, of Charisma’s newest ad campaign. Following in the footsteps of Sex and the City heartthrob Jason Lewis, Gabriel strips down to pose in the home brand’s fall 2010 campaign, shot by famed photographer Tony Duran.

And while the sizzling star has nothing but praise for the label’s luxe linens, saying in a release that “Charisma products have an understated elegance and luxuriousness to them, which is noticeable just by looking at the detailing of the towels and bedding,” we’re much more focused on the details of his six-pack! The smoking hot dad to Nahla and ex of Halle Berry, will heat up October issues of home magazines as well as computer screens in an online campaign.

Is there anything else to say? I sent this to CB and she muttered something about hearing angels singing. How could anyone let this Hot Piece go? He must be really dumb, right? Does it even matter at this point? He could only speak in grunts, and Mama could make it work.

I don’t find him attractive. He just doesn’t project anything else besides being good looking. There is nothing behind his eyes. Nothing. This man is a shell. Even when he was with Halle he was like just there, there was no soul in him.

I feel like the asthmatic Stevie on Malcolm in the Middle: There are *wheeze* no words *wheeze* to articulate *wheeze* my thoughts *inhaler blast*.
I’ll be taking the rest of the day off if anyone needs me. But try not to call, Gabriel doesn’t understand the ringing in his ears.

God he is so hot! And if I was one to speculate I would say Halle was with him just to have a baby. He said in an interview that he wanted more children (because he is from a big family and he wanted Nahla to have siblings) and I bet after that one, she didn’t want anymore. Money, kids are the important reason why couples break up. But like I said I’m just speculating, maybe he is just dumb like Kaiser is wondering.

You know what the best thing is? He’s out of my league and it’s utterly stupid to even think 99.99% of us will ever meet him anyway, so I don’t have to worry about whether or not he’s dumb as a brick or a good daddy or a gold-digger or care why he and some other chick I don’t know or care about broke up.

I care whether he’s smoking hot, that I’d like to smear him on my sheets like the silky smooth man-butter I think he is and rejoice in the fact that I’m just scummy enough to be able to sit back in my chair and objectify this slab of man meat like the cavewoman I am.

You have Canada to thank for this hottie lol. We’ve apologized for Celine Dion a million times, even that annoying Biebs. But hey, no more apologies when looking at this guy. One of the hottest I’ve seen in a while.