Category Archives: Phillies

Glad I got the pitchers this year because the Phillies hitting right now is a downright mess. Luckily the Phillies still have a couple of guys who know how to throw the baseball. If they lose this ability….Well, the Phillies are fucked. The Phillies pitchers have to (and most likely will) carry this team once again. On to the previews.

Am I ever going to get over the Phillies losing? Honestly, it’s been a week and Im still ready to jump off of a fucking cliff. I’ll have more on that when I finally gather my thoughts…..or I may kill myself and you’ll never get my season wrap up on the Phillies. Here’s week 6. To follow up on my anger towards the world I will continue themed picking. This week will be: player that may possibly be dead…in fantasy football terms. but maybe life as well.

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Wow. What a night for both the Phillies and the Yankees. Can’t really put into words how nervous both the collective fan bases were last night, but I had at least 2 and a half heart attacks I think. AJ Burnett? Props. Benny Fresh? You sly dog.

-The NY Football Giants already depleted secondary lost yet another CB today. After losing impact player Terrell Thomas last night to a torn ACL, they lost CB Brian Witherspoon to a torn ACL as well. Somehow Papa Bear seems to think that this will not effect the Giants at all. He won’t give me any facts to support this argument (or words on this site for that matter (Shots Fired Shots Fired!)), but he is deliriously confident in his team right now.

AHHHH those Marlin fans. So jealous of our team that they are looking for any way to feel relevant. Well I was surprised that Doc came out of the game yesterday, but I mean when your the best team in baseball, you can afford to have an off night in 102 degree heat. And he was facing the fucking Cubs. WHY THE FUCK WOULD HE WASTE HIS EXCELLENCE ON THEM! We know the real reason he didn’t stick around was that he didn’t want to be anywhere near a baseball field where Jim Belushi sings “Take me out to the Ballgame.” Those Marlins are quite a squad by the way. Not even Jack Mckeon’s old shriveled dick could muster any magic out of that hack squad in south beach. And lets be honest: we all know this is displaced anger. Daft is still deeply wounded that his beloved Hartford Whalers left town many moons ago. Its ok buddy, we will get through this. My Prediction? Cliff will make up for it by spinning a CG 2 hitter with 11 k’s tonight. Bet the barn on it.

Chaw. Chewed up and spat out. Despite the psychopathic tenacity that characterized his days on the diamond, good old Nails has got to be feeling a lot like the tobacco juice that he used to drool about the dugout. Currently penned up in San Fernando, California after being picked up for leasing cars with phony business and credit card info and possession of a solid stash of cocaine, ecstasy, and HGH—the necessary ingredients for any good-timing shenanigans—this is Dykstra’s second run in with the law in as many months. In addition to the 25 state counts of fraud, identity theft, possession, and GTA, the former Philly star also faces federal charges relating to his 2009 bankruptcy (bankruptcy fraud, obstruction of justice, etc.) which depicts the Dude in over his head for about $31 mil. Fuck.

With the extravagant sums of money he made playing baseball and as the seemingly successful car-wash magnate, all Lenny really had to do was tend the rabbits. But a dude that wound up just can’t get comfortable sitting still. Instead he ventured to test his luck as an entrepreneur, an investment analyst (even appearing on Mad Money, illustrating the extent to which Jim Kramer’s got his head shoved up his own ass), a publisher, and a real estate mogul. The disaster that ensued should have come as little surprise to any that followed his career on the field, and though tragic to a fan that idolized the manic slugger and drug-fueled all-star, it seems to be a simple case of destiny unbound—the ultimate culmination of baseball’s most colossal train-wreck.

The blind leading the blind.

(For a very prescient piece written about one of Dykstra’s crazed exploits at an Atlantic City Baccarat table before the ’93 season, please follow the link: “We’re On a Fucking Role, Dude”.)

Let me be clear. Lenny Dykstra, the man, the myth, the soon-to-be-convicted felon, was and will always be unequivocally my favorite baseball player on my favorite baseball team—the 1993 Philadelphia Phillies (Kruk, Philly H.O.F. interview on the ’93 Phillies)—of all time. I wore number 4 all throughout little league in the hope that I’d emulate his impassioned play, and would stuff entire packages of Big League Chew into my right cheek and spit shredded gum to emulate his reckless abandon—and because it looked Bad Ass. I was emotionally shattered over the baseball strike of ’94 and now, despite the large repository of evidence suggesting that Nails was always little more than a cheating, fraudulent bastard with unused and abused latent talent, I find myself seriously distressed over Dykstra’s demise.

However, I do find the whole situation laughably entertaining. It’s absolutely hilarious that anyone would take financial advice from, let alone enter into any sort of business arrangement with, a known lunatic with a propensity for hard drugs and burning through large stacks of cash with minimal regard for the consequential damage. I mean, he was the guy sitting next to Darryl Strawberry when he was on the Mets blowing lines on the back of bus (Yes, a bus. While all other teams surely had planes at this point, fuck the Mets. They get a bus.)Shit, he’d do key-bumps between innings just to keep limber—fired up and ready to ignite at any moment.

Dynamite on the field and hazardously explosive off of it, Dykstra’s antics (like smashing his Benz all loaded up on booze and benzos with Darren Daulton in the passenger seat following a John Kruk Bachelor Party) led many to gawk in awe, wondering how long the freak-show could possibly sustain itself. But as it turned out, Nails sort of spontaneously combusted and will now almost certainly be left to fizzle out in a jail cell.

Well, cocaine’s a hell of a drug and Lenny…he was a hell of a ball player.

The Daily Drive is a daily ( for the most part) post of all the prominent things going on in the sports world we didn’t cover, and anything else we might want to share with you. For example:Japan has come up with a steak made out of feces that is completely edible. I only wish I was kidding.

The Phillies open up a series against the St. Louis Cardinals tonight. No truth to the rumor that the St. Lunatics will be performing take me out to the ballgame in the 7th inning stretch.

Jack Mckeon didnt take long to start cracking the Fish into shape. He benched Hanley Ramirez in his first game back as manager. Presumably it had something to do with Hanley not giving a flying fuck about baseball this season

The Daily Drive is a daily (almost) post of all the prominent things going on in the sports world we didn’t cover, and anything else we might want to share with you. Like why the Phillies offense finally is good again. Rumor has it, Pedro Cerrano sacraficed a live chicken to wake up Jobu.

Andy Roddick you son of a bitch

First time doing the drive, so I thought I would start it off with a bang. That is Brooklyn Decker. She is incredibly hot. Almost hot enough for me to spend 9 bucks on that shitty Adam Sandler movie. ALMOST.

In NBA champion news, DeShawn Stevenson was arrested for public intoxication in Texas last night. I know what your thinking: Don’t you have to be intoxicated to want to live in Texas? The answer is a resounding yes.

The Daily Drive is a daily (almost) post of all the prominent things going on in the sports world we didn’t cover, and anything else we might want to share with you. But what we won’t be sharing is the reason why the creator of The Drive likes the random ass squad’s he reps….c’mon kid was a film major, he called watching “Lost” while packing the bong “homework”.

-Derek Jeter came up lame while running out a fly ball in the 5th inning against the Indians last night. A disabled list trip may be in the future. Yankees went on to lose 1-0. They will close out the 10 game home stand with 3 games against Texas, starting tonight.

– Boston forced a game 7 last night, defeating Vancouver 5-2. Daniel Sedin has come out and said they will win game 7. Who knows, maybe he’s right. I’m still baffled that the Swedes taught their twin goal-scoring lab rat creations to talk.

-Phillies were off yesterday, and start a three game set against Florida today. In other boring National League news, the Mets lost to the Pirates 3-1. I’d tell you who they were playing today, but I’m sure no one gives a shit.

Lebron’s new decision, more reasons to hate Boston, Mark Cuban partying, and God finally answering my prayers- after the jump.