I woke up on Tuesday morning, grabbed a coffee and started my morning ritual of surfing Twitter. My particular Twitter feed seems slow early in the morning, so I generally skip through the daily nonsense until I find something worth reading over. This morning my feed led me to Metta World Peace, who started his morning rant at about 8:09 am. This rant isn’t about anything that really makes much sense, but it gave me a laugh, and I figured I’d share.

First Metta vents about people unfollowing him. NOBODY unfollows Metta!

I don’t like being blocked or unfollowed. It ruffles me. It’s ruffles my feathers. It doesn’t lather me.

I’m twasting(fasting). I will not be tweeting for 51 days and 51 hours , 51 minutes and 51 seconds starting in 51 minutes

— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) August 27, 2013

About 8 minutes after the rant started, Metta dives right into some pop culture, by talking Miley Cyrus’ now famous performance from Sunday night’s VMA’s. Metta defends Hannah Montana’s edgy showing. What more did you expect from the NBA’s bad boy. Of course he goes to bat for Miley, as the world has been on fire over her display.

Wow. Just saw Miley’s performance. Interesting!! But not a crime. But her voice is dope! Heard her for the first time last month.

— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) August 27, 2013

The Metta jumps into some stuff I can’t quite understand. I believe he’s talking about soap?

Don’t lather me

— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) August 27, 2013

And then there’s more about lathering. It would seem as if Metta truly has an issue with being washed.

I don’t like bring lathered. Don’t do that

— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) August 27, 2013

At this point in Metta’s epic rant, he starts describing a squirrel that is apparently twerking on his dog. This part is my absolute favorite. Only the mind of Ron Ron can come up with so much Twitter gold. This particular Tweet makes my heart warm.

Wow,this squirl is twerking on my dog. This is really ridiculous . The squirl is stopping , popping and dropping. My pit is doing handstands

— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) August 27, 2013

After talking about twerking, Metta then likens himself to Albert Einstein. I can see the comparison. Can’t you? Head on over the Metta’s Twitter page to see the rest.