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So I consider myself a straight female, but for the last few years I've noticed that I was sometimes attracted to certain girls....never acting on it, never been sexually involved with a girl. The last few year were very bad for me, as I reflect on that time I was displaying blatant bipolar disorder behaviors. I was officially diagnosed 8 months ago and so far so good.

So here's the deal: my "long term friends with benefits" (ya I know what most of y'all think, but we have a great and functional friendship and amazing sexual relationship...only sexual involved when we we single)

Asked if I was interested in having a FFM threesome, it's a fantasy for him and one of the few things we haven't experienced. I told him I was down, and now it's all I can think about. What kind of girl do we want, what kind of girls turn me on, things I would and wouldnt to her and so on and so forth. But I'm not even sure when it came down to it I would go through with it.....but other times I'm 110% sure I would.

I have no interst in a relationship with a women but I'm having these fantasies.

I noticed these fantasies and wants to act upon them are really intense during my manic phases.

Am I bisexual or bicurious bc o these?

Are these just a part of my manic episodes?

Does being bipolar play a role in my sexuality?

I'm curious about you input and if anyone else can identify with this.

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There is no connection between bipolar and bisexuality, other than they both begin with "bi,"

A lot of my bisexual friends, while attracted sexually to both sexes (or is it gender in this context?), tend to have relationships with only one sex. My best friend in Pittsburgh, loooooves sex with men, but for some reason can only make a long term emotional connection with women. He actually is way more obsessed with sex with men. But he has always "set up house" with women.

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You know occasionally these posts appear in similar context, but usually from someone who's not bi or bipolar, insinuating a connection.

I'll tell you what I tell them, without all the swearing.

People who are bi are not more likely to be bipolar, people who are bipolar are not more likely to be bi, and threesomes happen outside of hypersexuality far more often than not. Try the best you can to gauge whether or not your MI is influencing your decision and go from there.

Be safe!

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I grew up in Pittsburgh, and it used to be *extremely* homophobic. Murders against gay men for being gay men happened about 10 times a year. I did HIV outreach at a gay bar (my favorite gay bar) that a few weeks later, someone shot into with a machine gun, killing 6.

You would be amazed at how many people used to think they didn't know any gay people. It was a catastrophe to be outed. You would lose your job. Your family would disown you. You would lose even your dearest friends. If someone asked me a question about gender or homosexuality, or transgendered people, or people with HIV, in a neutral rather than disgusted manner, I took that as an opportunity to educate. In that atmosphere, the question would have to be actively hostile for me to respond in a negative fashion to someone who actually was curious.

Since then, Pittsburgh has become one of the most gay friendly cities in the country, recently it was the number one city. Those of us who were activists in the 80s and 90s would have scoffed at you if you had said *any* state would legalize gay marriage in *any* form within a few years. You would have been laughed at, although indulgently. That trangendered people have a *legal* right under *City* law to equal housing, and have jobs outside of a tiny, sympathetic community, is shocking to me. When I left in 2001, most of my transgendered friends were barely considered human.

I cringe now at a question I once asked a transgendered woman. I said to her, "Would it be okay if I asked you a question about your gender reassignment?" GAH! Can you imagine? I would slug someone who would just up and say something like that to one of my friends these days.

But because she knew she had to educate, she said, "Ask me anything." I am horrified to admit I asked her, wasn't she terrified of having her penis removed? It was so often fatal. She responded, "I decided I was either going to die on the table, or kill myself, so death was no longer a consideration." That snapped me out of my slumbers. It really was a pivotal moment for me.

I didn't think there was anything wrong with being transgendered *at all,* but I treated her like a curiousity. Still, if she hadn't kept her temper, and let me ask my dreadful question, I would have been just another ignorant straight person.

ETA: I just want to say in my defense, the fact that I as a straight person was in the room with a trangendered person in the 80s was extremely rare.

Edited March 11, 2012 by crtclms

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I know people who are bisexual and not bipolar and I know people with bipolar who are not bisexual. I really don't believe there is any connection. Bipolar is an illness, being bisexual is not. I think if it happens that they occur together it is simply a coincidence

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Guest Recluse

Guest Recluse

No, it doesn't. There is absolutely no connection between bipolar and bisexuality at all.

Some of the others have already gone into detail about it, but during mania, hypersexuality can make you more pragmatic about what you find sexy or acceptable. However, also try to keep in mind that very few people are absolutely 100% straight or 100% homosexual. For most folks, it's a gradient that is heavily weighed to one side or the other, so while you think of yourself as straight, there is very likely the possibility that even without hypersexuality, you would consider a liasion with a woman in the right circumstances.

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Ok I think I should've said hyper sexuality instead of bipolar. Ive always been fairly open-minded in the bedroom and promiscuous before my BP started making itself known....so I've always been very sexual. But in a manic stage it's hard to differentiate btwn my reg sex drive/preferences and hypersexulatiy.

So to revise my question: how do can I decipher between my sexuality preferences and hyper sexuality preferences? If it turns out that I am more inclined to do certain acts during a manic phase than when more stable....should I avoid them? Could these possibly be precursors or even triggers to a main stage?

And I know everyone is different in their sexual preferences, and I didn't not mean to offend anyone by asking if BP and bisexuality were connected.....by no means do I think being bisexual is caused by or is a mental illness..Sexuality is not black and white, I know this. I also know that hypersexuality can cause problems, and when hyper sexuality is present, so are other undesirable symptoms of mania.

I'm very comfortable with my sexuality, I'm very open minded and all that. But I'm having a problem deciphering btwn personal preferences and hypersexuality. (my libido And preferences while not manic prolly mirror some of you guys in a hyper sexual state)

This is an odd question and I hope I kinda clarified what I meant....and sorry if my original post offended anyone.

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Risk of injury, risk of contracting an STD, risks to personal safety by going home with someone you just met, risk of ruining an existing committed relationship, risk of taking photos/film that could be used against you, risk of unwanted pregnancy, risk of leading on someone who genuinely believes you want to be with them when you secretly know that you don't etc etc etc.

The kind of sex you have is a pretty individual thing, only you can decide what turns you on and how far you are prepared to go to get off. If you're putting yourself in positions where you're drunk or high or with people who you know won't respect your choices then you're not setting yourself up to make the best decisions. I think it's much better and easier to treat the mania than it is to try to control your manic sex drive.

I think a threesome is the sort of thing you want to do when you have your wits about you, not when you're manic! How about waiting til the mania passes and seeing if it still turns you on?

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I have less inhibitions when I'm hypersexual. I would be more likely to have a three-some when manic, but it's something I've pondered when not. I haven't cheated on my husband and I think that's because I know I don't want to do that and that doesn't change. I don't think hypersexuality has any more with making sexual choices you might not otherwise then anything else that reduces your inhibitions. But, it doesn't change your sexual orientation. Like recluse says, it's a spectrum.

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Nothing too crazy happened last week, something a lil embarrassing but it makes a good story, to laugh at AND serves as a lesson. My friends were on my ass about my intentions and gave me many "I told you so!" and "are you gonna actually listen to us?" lectures afterwords. Next time I have the urge to test my preferences I'm gonna wait about a month (at least) to see if I'm on the cusp of an episode, or just let the oppertunity present itself to me instead of seeking it out. And surprise!!! (sarcasm) I'm in my first mixed state since I've begun my recovery.

Thank you guys so much! I wish I would've phrased my question right the first time, but being on the verge of a one of those cute lil manic states I probably wouldn't have really took it too seriously anyway. I had about 8 months of great mental health behind me so I was obviously cured! (again massive sarcasm)

I'm gonna flip thru the forums for some advice on how to make functioning through this mixed state a little more smooth as I wait for my bloodwork (no thyroid, pretty sure (hoping) my levels are just off) and either tweak my levothyroxin or my whole cocktail. Hopefully I'll find something thats pretty helpful, if not I'll start a new thread. If I do find something, I'll be sure to comment to so it'll be bumped up and help other people.

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You know it's funny...in my 21 years as officially bipolar, i have never once considered the question of whether bisexual meant bipolar. I guess I knew for sure I was bisexual before I was diagnosed bipolar. I've actually discussed this with my friends and most of them (even those married for 20 years) admit that they have lesbian fantasies.

I agree with Titania, you gotta be sure and you have to be safe, Make your decisions while not manic. In my case, I have certain times of the month that I look at 'girls' more than 'boys', so to me it's hormonal. Remember that the greek civilization was thousands of years ago and homosexuality was very common. It's just relatively recent in history that homophobia has shown up.

So, just do what you want to do without harming yourselves and others.

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I'm not homophobic at all, I have so many gay friends. I think it's the fact that I'm so hot/cold to the idea of myself going both ways. I'm still having hard time distinguishing my personality and manic behavior. I've always been high-strung and out-going (sexually as well as every way else). There's a very thin line btwn myself and manic self. A lot of things I appreciate can lead to manic behavior. Case in point here, I was in a very sexual phase....not unusual for me, I'm either having lots of sex or none at all, it's not hyper sexuality it's just something I've always done. But it seems every time I get a lil more bold about being bi curious I'm usually about to go off my rocker, although I do think about women quite a bit anyways. Am I only wanting to act on this bc I am manic or is that when I just get the balls the actually do it? I think a lot of it is I just wanna know what I want, I just want an experience so I can be like "yay or nay" to it.

I was just wondering how many other people seem to change their sexuality a bit during mania.

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I agree with a lot of what others are saying. Sexuality is a sliding scale, inhibitions are lowered during vulnerable times (mania, etc.), and fantasies don't always indicate something you would actually want to happen. That's an important thing to consider I think. Sometimes a fantasy is exciting because it is something you wouldn't want to do or want the consequences of.

I'm bisexual and knew it when I was a teen - way before I started exhibiting signs of BP. I've also had threesomes (and foursomes) both manic and not. I think safety has to do with how you do it, not how many you do it with necessarily. Most people are serial monogamists, but it's really not that different math-wise from just doing it with all the people at once instead of one at a time lol. JMO, most threesomes aren't all that though.

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So I consider myself a straight female, but for the last few years I've noticed that I was sometimes attracted to certain girls....never acting on it, never been sexually involved with a girl. The last few year were very bad for me, as I reflect on that time I was displaying blatant bipolar disorder behaviors. I was officially diagnosed 8 months ago and so far so good.

So here's the deal: my "long term friends with benefits" (ya I know what most of y'all think, but we have a great and functional friendship and amazing sexual relationship...only sexual involved when we we single)

Asked if I was interested in having a FFM threesome, it's a fantasy for him and one of the few things we haven't experienced. I told him I was down, and now it's all I can think about. What kind of girl do we want, what kind of girls turn me on, things I would and wouldnt to her and so on and so forth. But I'm not even sure when it came down to it I would go through with it.....but other times I'm 110% sure I would.

I have no interst in a relationship with a women but I'm having these fantasies.

I noticed these fantasies and wants to act upon them are really intense during my manic phases.

Am I bisexual or bicurious bc o these?

Are these just a part of my manic episodes?

Does being bipolar play a role in my sexuality?

I'm curious about you input and if anyone else can identify with this.

My ex bf is both bipolar and bisexual. I still like him but it's very confusing for me so I try to stay away.

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I don't think bipolar has any correlation with gender identity, or what gender(s) someone is attracted to.

But I do think bipolar can contribute to people having difficulty developing a consistent self identity, in general. It could contribute to confusion about who you're "really" attracted to, when you're not all impulsive and hypersexual. Personally I have never been able to unravel my confusion about sexuality, but for me it's not as much about genders as about: what does it mean to be sexually attracted, am I sexually attracted to this person or is it some other kind of infatuation, how much of a sexual being am I, and so on.

Edited February 3, 2014 by tamagotchi

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Bipolar and sexual orientation have exactly zero to do with each other. And I disagree with people who say that it's a sliding scale or a continuum when it comes to sexuality. I do not buy that at all, at least not for guys who are straight or gay. I get the hypersexuality big time as a result of BP, but never once has my sexual orientation even flinched. Bisexuality is somewhat odd to me, but my bisexual guy friends always have a clear preference for women, or so they say. I sometimes wonder if that's just because it's the easier way out. I've heard that sexuality is more fluid for women. At least among the lesbians and straight women I have known, that is not the case. I haven't known enough bisexual females to make any kind of assessment, but perhaps that's where things become more fluid.

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I also do get this a bit: when I'm on a high I'm very very attracted to women, even though I consider myself relatively straight. And to quote what was said above:

very few people are absolutely 100% straight or 100% homosexual. For most folks, it's a gradient that is heavily weighed to one side or the other.....

In my opinion, when we get hypersexual, our 'minority' sexual preferences simply become more noticeable, because everything sexual becomes so much more significant. But like I said, this is my opinion, I'm not sure if there is any scientific research into this issue.

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