Beneath the Abyss

He clung to a floating fragment of red oak while praying mutely for sunlight that would not come, that would not heed the commands of unseen deities, their jaws agape as they themselves clung to the fiery, looping fetters of distant stars sunk deep in the vast pitch above him, spheres of fire swimming in a black void that is boundless in scope and in era and in awe.

That vile, invidious sun lurking languidly beneath a gelid horizon, taunting him with warmth veiled, abundance absorbed deep into oceans swaggering fervently on the opposite side this impartial planet, this spinning cerulean orb locked taut in endless vacuity, merely one of billions careening carelessly along orbits elliptical and confined and finite.

Damn those hidden deities concealed in myth and ubiquity and damn that furious sun concealed in soot and shade. He pushed away the floating fragment of red oak and soon floated downward, beneath and beyond that vast, black arc of space, no more to touch the deliberate and measured lumber of infinity.

I had to recalibrate my mind after rejecting the very faith (the very meaning of my existence) that exhorted my yearning to love and be loved as an abomination. I had to process the isolation and self-hatred of being a gay man in the military during Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.

I had to navigate depression, suicidal ideation, and a life void of purpose.

So I cultivated and nurtured my own purpose. I studied fiction and philosophy.

I merged the two into a novel. I lived and breathed and took witness through five characters, woven together into a single narrative.

The five characters are based on the five existential archetypes outlined in Simone du Beauvoir’s, The Ethics of Ambiguity.

The Nihilist
The Sub-human
The Adventurer
The Serious Man
The Passionate Man

I’ll leave you philosopher lovers out there to figure out which character belongs to which existential archetype.

Writing this book saved my life. It’s a pretty good read, too!

My First Novel: Remnants of Light

Just a guy trying to be creative before I’m kicked off this spinning spaceship suspended in a vast void.

Why photography?

We’re forever locked within a specific set of limited perceptions and spatial relationships. This vision we enjoy is defined by cells stacked in the eye. These cells only absorb and process a small portion of the entire spectrum of light.

We see so little of what is truly out there.

I try to use the camera to deviate from those familiar perceptions, to reframe those spatial spaces, to expose thin slices of time that change our relation to experiences teaming with unknowns, flashes of awe, and beauties unseen.