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I don’t what it is about Adele’s voice, but it bugs. I can’t stand it. It’s so overwrought and what’s the word? Singerly. I know, I know, that’s not even a word. I just don’t want to hear it. Shut up shut up shut up, Adele. Fast forward to the next song before hives break out on my leg.

That said, it’s kind of crazy to hear a simulacrum of Adele’s voice come out of 19 year-old Zheng Hong, a contestant on the Chinese version of “The Voice.”

Things I love about this video?

That big, confident voice coming out of a seemingly quiet, unassuming girl.

After two years of hype surrounding every aspect of the so-called “Asian Jersey Shore,” K-Town premiered today on YouTube. The reality show was so thoroughly dissected before it ever saw the light of day–Is this good or bad for Asians? Does it promote or break down stereotypes? Is this something to be ashamed of or to celebrate?–the 12-minute pilot is, inevitably, something of a letdown. It’s not quite the trainwreck it was originally touted to be, and without something to really rubberneck in the pilot, the whole thing feels a little bland, actually. The guys and girls kind of blend one into another, a cheesy, homogeneous mix of muscles and eyelash extensions. The teaser for the rest of the season doesn’t give you much to hang onto either: They drink, party, have a few fakish conflicts, rinse and repeat.

Let’s hope the next ep has more to gawk at, or, at least, offers clearer stakes–how very fuddy-duddy of me to want them, I know–because a show like this that once promised to be new and “groundbreaking” could get really old, fast.

Though AMAZIAN castmate Manila Luzon will clearly be his fiercest, pretty-as-a-picture competitor, we can’t help but think that Raja–the frontrunner after last night’s Season 3 premiere of RuPaul’s Drag Race– has the Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent to take home the big queen prize. Raja’s got legs that never seem to end. Raja owns a catwalk like Rupert Murdoch owns people. Raja is ROWR!
And like the iconic Ru before her, Raja–otherwise known as Sutan Amrull–looks just as beautiful (if not more) as a man:Continue reading BABEWATCH: Sutan Amrull/Raja

I sent a few links about this story to Jen and Diana, the editors of this blog. As their intern, it’s part of my job to look for stories they may want to write about on the site.

I figured you were a shoo-in for “DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK,” a weekly dishonor given to someone or something that has done something so foul and terrible that we may all be worse off because of it. Something so bad it’s almost worth not writing about but for the fact that we have to warn others about the bullshit you’ve perpetrated.

Also, I figured that having DOTW on your resume would be a natural fit for someone whose only previous claim to fame was as a contestant on “Big Brother UK”.

They asked if I could write a response to you and to your story. They asked me to do this because I first alerted them to it, and because I seemed pretty well invested in taking you down.

I also wonder if they asked me to do this because I’m fat.

So, Mr. Kenneth Tong, I want to thank you.

Thank you for causing even a fraction of a millisecond of a doubt in my mind about the reason behind Jen and Diana asking me to write this story.

Thank you for taking it upon yourself to use Twitter to bully and harass the women who were unfortunate enough to read your posts.

Thank you for showing the world the truth of the hate that you have for fat people, for women, for people with eating disorders, for the people who love them, and for pretty much every decent person on earth.

Thank you for using anorexia, an eating disorder, and exploiting it for the sake of an experiment “to go from nowhere to be a globally recognized figure within a week harnessing the power of the internet and specifically Twitter.” I’m sure that people suffering from anorexia and other eating disorders were happy they could lend a hand in the effort to promote you.

Thank you for using the interviews you’ve given to the press since you began this awful game (because it’s just a game to you, isn’t it?) to promote yourself instead of clearing up any assertions you made about anorexia, or to offer real apologizes to anyone you may have offended or harmed.

Thank you for re-tweeting every single negative message you received on Twitter in response to “managed anorexia”, because it shows you really only care about yourself.

Thank you for showing me that when I thought I’d heard every insult and every bad word you could hurl at a fat person, you came up with even more.

Thank you for making me think about you, and how much I hate what you have to say, when really I would have been much better off focusing on more important things like who I think is going to win big at The Golden Globes on Sunday, or cleaning my bathroom.

Thank you for making me fearful of posting a picture of myself on-line, of writing this post, of showing people who I am, because now all I can think of is being judged or, even worse, being ignored, because I am fat.

Yours,

Jasmine (aka, Fatso, Fatty Fat Fat, Fat Bitch, and so on and so forth)

Why She’s A Babe: Wong is one of four contestants seeking the ultimate prize in The Biggest Loser finale tonight, and although her scores don’t have her sitting safe on top, the love of viewers may garner her a spot on the winners’ podium. But going the distance in this big competition isn’t all that makes her babealicious–nor her pretty face, which you see in the photo above.

Wong is by far one of the most fascinating, enduring, and–by all TV evidence–legit women ever to face an NBC reality gauntlet. Amidst her quest for lasting and meaningful weight loss, viewers have been treated to a strong work ethic, gentle heart, and something else we aren’t quite used to: honesty. Few people would be willing to access their most vulnerable spots–a lifelong weight struggle, the tragic childhood death of a brother, the burden of her parents’ blame for the loss, her father’s emotional deafness–in front of an often-cruel, millions-large American audience. But she did, and those of us Continue reading BABEWATCH: The Biggest Loser Finalist Ada Wong

Apparently, 5 million people watched the premiere of Sarah Palin’s 8-part reality series, her Alaska, last night.

I was one of them. Miraculously, I held down my vomit through every stinking minute of the TLC hour, mostly because I was hoping that Alaska’s former governor would get eaten by a bear (although I certainly would have settled for her falling off of a mountainside). She didn’t. But there are seven more episodes to go, so here’s hoping.

If you compare this pilot to other recent television hours, like Matt Lauer’s recent interview with the fact-slalom king, George W. Bush, then heck, the content wasn’t at all that infuriating. After all, one could maybe accept Alaska as simply a cloying, stagey, poorly-produced celebreality show (Really, Mark Burnett? You built how many scenes off of one blurred Joe McGinniss cutaway? Tsk!) along the lines of Keeping Up With The Kardashians (except the young, unmarried, unqualified new mom in this show isn’t old enough to drink yet). One could celebrate the soaring music cues, red-white-and-blue lower thirds and Christian-rock theme song of the show as just what the Middle American doctor ordered. One could argue that the vast mountain landscapes, endless skies, and extreme animal closeups legitimize this “travelogue,” excusing Palin’s thinly-if-at-all-veiled political rhetoric–sprinkled throughout each story beat–because she, like a Ken Burns that can’t pronounce “feel,” is just givin’ a much needed voice to the under-appreciated state she loves so darn much.

Canada, you’re supposed to be a refuge from the ugly shit that makes Americans, well, Americans, and, perhaps more importantly, not you.

You know, shit like unaffordable heath care and violent crime? (Although, to be fair, you did inflict Celine Dion upon the world, the violentest of violent crimes if there ever was one.)

But Celine Dion aside, your record of being morally superior to us Americans–while possessing considerably less swag, no offense–has remained relatively untarnished over the years…until now.

Meet the cast of Canada’s Lake Shore, i.e. The True Story of Eight Strangers–aka “The Turk,” “The Italian,” “The Jew,” “The Czech,” “The Pole,” “The Albanian,” “The Lebanese,” and “The Vietnamese”–Picked to Live in a House Together and Have Their Lives Taped in Order to Forever Disabuse You of the Idea that Canada Is the More Tolerant Society You’ll Escape to When the Tea Party Takes Over and Sarah Palin’s Elected President in 2012:

Sore-y to say, Canada, but your answer to Jersey Shore not only makes you not us, it makes you look much, much worse.

Why He’s A Babe: Ronald and the rest of Shorty’s crew are little people that make a big impact. Shorty’s Rescue of Long Beach, CA deals almost exclusively with protecting the highly misunderstood pit bull, a dog whose loyal and nurturing qualities are too-often overshadowed by the dangerous behavior of the badly mistreated. It’s important but tough and taxing work, and most people don’t have the nards to stay with it. Clark has been a longtime animal advocate, but is a relative rookie as an activist for pits—we like watching him learn and rise to the challenge.

Plus, we dig Clark’s smile lines, warm smile, and perfect tan. But should we investigate that film he did with porn superstars Jenna and Janine (eep!)? Maybe we’ll leave that to the past and stick to watching him save doggies!

Even after I give birth to my first child, I’m pretty sure I’m going to tell my mom and dad that I’m a virgin. It’s like, my duty as the fourth child of two Hardass Asian Parents (who, as far as I know, are also virgins). It’s how we roll, yo. We’re expected to avoid dating but marry someone rich and virile, have babies without ever making sweet monkey love, and teach our kids to do the same.

So the first thing I thought when I read on HuffPo that an Aussie producer put together a cast willing to auction off their virginities to the highest bidder for a reality TV show was: I’ll be damned if there’s an Asian-Australian on that show!!! Hardass Asian Parents would go ape shit.

Apparently, all of the parents are pretty unhappy about the show’s concept.