Archive for January, 2013

One of them is hopping around, in circles, in a deep rut made by heavy passing traffic. The thing is, the frog hid in the rut when the passing heavy traffic got too much, too scary.
The other frog shouts down to him: “Hey, why don’t you come up here, it’s much nicer and there’s plenty of food.” The frog down below looks up: “I can’t get out.” “I’ll give you a hand,” says the other frog. “Leave me alone, I’m fine, I find food down here.” “OK,” says the second frog, “But there’s much more space up here to explore and see and hear different things, and feel the sun and the breeze. And good food not the garbage you’ve got down there. And you’ll sleep better out here.” “I’ve got everything I need down here.” says the hopping around in his lonely hole frog.
“What about companionship with other frogs?” “Oh friends pass by above me and I see them distantly for a while.”
The second frog heaves a frog sigh and bounces off.
When we are stuck in a ‘rut’ – and by ‘a rut’ I mean the symptoms which cause us emotional ‘pain’ such as:• being disconnected from our self and from others
• of relating badly to our food,
• of being afraid,
• feeling nervous
• panicky
• stressed• of not sleeping well
– and so on – our wonderful well meaning friends will ask of us, with great concern: Why don’t you think happy thoughts? Why don’t you just go out and socialise? Why don’t you learn about which are the healthy foods?
Because our friends’ are wonderful and caring and what they ask of us makes perfect sense – we maybe try the happy thoughts or the socialising for a while. None of it is lasting, because part of us is still ‘stuck’.
Unlike our first frog – we do not want to wait for a major crisis coming along in our life to make us move out of ‘where we are stuck’.
The ‘Why’ questions do not work to help us to really move out of our ‘stuck state’.
Let’s try as an example: – “Why don’t you think happy thoughts?”
“Because I’ve tried that and failed, it doesn’t last. Because I don’t actually feel happy when I make myself have happy thoughts!”
Conversely the goal setting question does work – it is the beginning point to be able to move ‘out of the stuck’ place
Our goal gives us a place to go to – otherwise we won’t move. We would never get out of our chair unless we had a goal – even to go and make a hot drink!
I have talked about this question before; it’s well worth another viewing!
Here it is, ask yourself:“And – what do I want to have happen?” (Mark this because it’s the Golden Bullet of this letter)
Because this is an unusual question – you will get unusual responses from yourself.
Go for it! Write it down. Be spontaneous. Have a flow of consciousness – or ‘nail it’ straight away.
I am talking here about emotional and psychological goals, such as:
“I want to stop feeling depressed, angry, lonely, misunderstood. I want to be myself – I want to know myself, find myself. I want to be free to be me. I want to sleep well. I want to be happy in my own skin……..”

Write it down. Ponder on your goal. We can all do this goal setting regularly. It is part of our humanness to want to ‘move on’ in our immeasurable potential!
Next – you need your purposes and reasons for wanting your goal – without these our mind will not make the move to change. Write them down.
We would not get out of our chair to make a hot drink – unless we had reasons – the obvious – “I’m thirsty!” “I need a break from my chair!!”

Please enjoy my gift to you which I have posted on You Tube called –’ It’s a Breeze’– This 20 minute story I recorded to really help you clear your mind – freeing your mind to think clearly and be focused on your goal and your reasons and purposes to want to achieve your goal.
It’s a Breeze helps you communicate with the ‘latent’ wisdom and resources of your unconscious mind, assisting you to move towards your goal.
Also for those of you who are not familiar with my Work which can be 1:1 – or my half an hour a day for 40 day CD / MP3 audio courses, please check out my life changing material here.

We’ve had a really great response from readers of Time Out London, brilliant and a very warm welcome to you all.
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I’ve been thinking about how we get ‘stuck’ in patterns of thinking, beliefs and behaviours, which do not actually validate our self and do not fully celebrate our life.

It’s like the story about two frogs.
One of them is hopping around in a deep rut made by heavy passing traffic. The other frog shouts down to him:
“Hey, come up here, it’s much nicer and there’s plenty of food.” The frog down below looks up:
“I can’t get out.” “I’ll give you a hand,” says the other frog
“Leave me alone, I’m fine, I find food down here.”
“OK,” says the second frog, “But there’s much more space up here to explore and see and hear different things, and feel the sun and the breeze. And you’ll sleep better out here.”
“I’ve got everything I need down here.” says the hopping around in his lonely hole frog.
“What about companionship with other frogs?”
“Oh friends pass by above me and I see them distantly for a while.”
The second frog heaves a frog sigh and bounces off.
A few days later the second frog is amazed to see the first frog jumping natural frog jumps about beside him:
“Hey, what happened, I thought you were staying in your rut?”“Yeah, I got out! There was a big truck coming!”

A few people over the years have said to me:
“Um, well, I haven’t heard or seen the truck coming at me yet!”
And basically a few of these same people have carried on to say: “What’s the point in getting out of my rut? I’ve adapted my self to being here. Sure, I’m disconnected from other people; I’m even disconnected from my real self. So, I’m not healthily nourished. However it’s safe to ‘hide’ in my rut! And the truck coming will never get me.”This really is the Essence of why we stay stuck in the rut – it is a place or state to be safe.
Let’s take a few moments to consider a few symptoms to help make sense of this wonderful metaphor of the stuck frog.
Symptoms such as nervousness, anxieties, fears, sleeplessness, difficulty relating to other people and to our self, difficulty in relating happily to our food intake – and so on………
All these symptoms are actually searching for the problem – and the problem is that at certain times in our life we got ‘stuck’ The issue is that this problem is a paradox – in that being ‘stuck’ – was originally a protection, a safe space to live a part life – never- the-less a ‘safe’ space at the time. Eventually our ‘safe’ space begins to feel more like a prison, we feel disconnected from life and from our vast potentials.
So I think that I can say, as an overview of my Work, 1:1 – and my Work on my half an hour a day for 40 day CD / MP3 audio courses: is I’m assisting the discovery of a safe natural space outside of the ‘rut’. I’m a travel guide to getting out the rut.
By the way I have uploaded one of the 15 tracks from my ‘Don’t Wait to be the Right Weight’ audio treatment to You Tube for you to get a feel for how I communicate with your unconscious. Have a listen?
Celebrating life and thinking of you warmlySally

Successful people ooze self confidence: this probably explains why so much psychological research has been done to identify what it is that all successful people have in common. And by successful, the research ranged from someone wanting to be successful in their home life, family, health, relationships, or creative work to the massive corporate businesses such as Bill Gates at Microsoft.

How to apply positive strategies… in order to successfully grow your own confidence you need to do three things:Number 1 – know what you want: this means that you need to set yourself a comprehensive goal.
You may feel overwhelmed by the number of goals that you want to achieve. You need to take one goal at a time, perhaps a small one to begin with. Write it down; continue to refine your goal as you go along.Number 2 – know your reasons or purposes to succeed as you need to know this in order to remain fully motivated.
This will help you to focus on your motivation for achieving your goal. As all behaviour has a purpose, behaviour does not have meaning as such, behaviour has purpose, knowing your own unique purposes to gain self confidence, will really ‘spring board’ you towards achieving your goal successfully.Number 3 – you must believe that you will succeed.
Once you have these three things you will then have the self confidence to accomplish what you want.
You will need to work to change your negative beliefs. Our beliefs are driving a massive part of our behaviour. If we believe we can, we can. If we believe we can’t, we can’t.

Here are some practical tips on how to accomplish these tasks and use them to improve your self confidence.

Setting your goal
Always write your goal in the positive. Why? Because, simplistically our amazing brain will respond to an instruction to be calm, strong, and have inner harmony. Rather than responding to an instruction to not be nervous and tongue tied.
Our brain is amazing, but it will see and hear, ‘be nervous and tongue tied’. Just as you have done as you have been reading this!
Once you have decided what your goal is you need to speak your goal, out loud, several times. As you speak, the vitally important thing for you to do is to be very aware of any inner objections, (which will be negative beliefs,) either in your feelings or your thoughts. An objection could be something like a knotted stomach, or a negative ‘I can’t do that…’ thought.

Know your purpose
So, this is about you getting really focused and motivated, with loads of energy to move you onwards to successfully achieve your goal. As I’ve said, deeply knowing your own purposes will assist your motivation.
You may be thinking that your purposes to gain self confidence are obvious? No they aren’t, your purposes will contain nuances and fine details unique to you.
So, let us consider having the confidence to go for that job interview. Your goal is to be confidently calm and strong and feel inner harmony when you’re communicating with interviewers.
So, you need to then ask yourself: What is my purpose in wanting to be confidently calm and strong and feel inner harmony when I’m communicating with interviewers?
My example answer: This will really help me in my career.
Keep asking, to really get to your depth of purpose: What is my purpose in really wanting to get on with my career?
Answer: My family and friends will be proud of me.
I urge you to keep on asking the same question, and the same for each of your purposes, until you maybe get a ‘Ting’ moment, which gives you a deeper understanding of your purposes than you’d thought of before. In my simple example, the ‘Ting’ moment is like this: ‘Wow, I hadn’t realised that I want my family and friends to feel proud of me!’
I urge you to make notes about your purposes.
This is a very simplistic example, I so hope it lets you realise the depths and importance of really knowing your own purposes.Believe in yourself
The problem with this is that many of our beliefs are unconscious, that is we do not consciously know we have them. How can you first know, and then deconstruct your unconscious negative beliefs, specifically about achieving your goal?
Seriously, achieving this can be tricky on your own; it can be like ‘pulling yourself up by your own boot laces’. You may want to consider my course on gaining self confidence which is assisting you to work comfortably with your own unconscious beliefs, an amazing thing to do. Unconscious belief systems can be tricky because the ‘language’ is of the unconscious.
Take your time to write notes by asking questions of all the objections. Ask: Where does that objection come from? As you learn the history of the negative beliefs, you will be able to deconstruct them.
Along with my studies and practice of hypnotherapy and psychotherapy I have developed my remarkable courses available as a set of 5 CD’s or as MP3 download from my web site:https://www.sally-stubbs.com/treatments-available-c-3
I wish you every success and an inner experience of unity, harmony and peace.

I woke up this morning with a good plan to talk more with you about the’ Little Girl’s’ amazing pure wisdoms, particularly about what she has called ‘blind spots’.

I mean, there is a load more about this for us to explore and make useful in our day to day life. Assisting us all towards more happiness, more inner awareness in our search for our ‘pristine me’, more inner certainty combined with a wise flexibility.

Like I’ve said before I do not put a ceiling on our inner happiness!! Inner happiness is not a ‘sum’ – it is immeasurable in potential.

And, you know if you disagree with me, great, your disagreement will be a gift of exploration for me, expanding my thinking and perceptions, I’d love to hear from you privately: sally@sally-stubbs.com

Last week I received an email which uplifted me, (and I’m ensuring the content and the person remains private).
The title of the email is: ‘Finally contacting you!’Their opening words are:
“For more than a year I have been wanting to contact you but always felt “inappropriate” to do so.
Tonight I am taking the plunge……”

It seems it was my friend ‘The Little Girl’, and her understanding of ‘blind spots’ which gave encouragement to this person to, after a whole year: ‘…take the plunge…..’ I felt privileged to receive this story, I totally respect the effort and courage an email like this one takes…………

Anyway, my plan for us to explore more about ‘blind spots’today does link with my Rant!
My Rant is about a video which I decided to watch this morning, on the internet. Certainly it was put up there by a very well-meaning coach.

Well-meaning versus mis-guided – is my Rant!

The coach maintained that we can dump all our negative belief systems within seconds and: “You’ll wake up in the morning, jump up to throw the curtains back, and live an entirely new and successful life”….(Once you buy her: ‘Dump your negative beliefs course in seconds’…. nonsense)

Hey, I do not have any Rant about marketing Great products! My Rant is about products that do not ‘do what it says on the tin’.

Simplistically this is how our belief systems work: – Some of our beliefs, are actually treasures, such as our values, our social morays, our sense of responsibility and care for others and our environment…….
Our positive beliefs will have aspects that are undifferentiated from our negative beliefs. My allegory is like our pristine ‘me’ our pristine experience of ‘self’ – along with the added positive beliefs that we learnt though life, is pure water – into which also drops and drops and drops of different stinky murky stuff was poured!
Stinky stuff you might have been exposed to such as: “Your ‘me’ is unacceptable…” “Your ‘me’ is a failure…..” “Your ‘me’ is ugly….”

Differentiation required: – To separate and clean out the ‘stinky stuff’ & keep and maintain well the treasures of positive beliefs – Takes Time! And care!
Why do we need to Take Careful Time? Because our ‘me’ will not come out of hiding if we do a fast swift ‘clean out’.
As Mike says: “Our ‘me’ is not interested in ‘fast food’ therapy! It is wise enough to know ‘fast food’ will not nourish it!”
So, in praise of your ‘me’ my CD / MP3 courses take half an hour a day for 10 of the forty days to Work thoroughly on differentiation, cleaning out the negative ‘muck’ and treasuring our positive life enhancing, life celebrating beliefs…………https://www.sally-stubbs.com/treatments-available-c-3 this is where you can find details of all my treatments: please take a peek….
I have uploaded a complete track, one of the 15 from my ‘Don’t Wait to Lose Weight’ course on You Tube for you to listen to so you can get a feel for how I work.
On this track I am communicating in the language of the unconscious so it might sound a little strange, just go with it and enjoy the experience. (By the way it is not the track about differentiation).

I am wishing you every joy, and every happiness not just for the coming New Year – for all the years to come……………………
Let’s talk some more about my friend the “Little Girl” and what she has to say.
Because, whatever problem any of us may be suffering – her wisdom is wondrously universal. Her wisdom will assist any of us to gain insights as to how we can return to our pristine, resourceful, happy self, no matter if we are suffering with sleeplessness, or carrying ‘weight’ – or relating to our self without esteem and respect for our self.
Name it!
And if her insights don’t apply I’ll make another offer to eat my hat!So my friend the “Little Girl”: She has been talking to me about what she calls ‘blind spots’.
“You can have blind spots about your ‘me’ and about other people and situations. Blind spots happen when you have an ‘Ouch’ sometimes a huge ‘Ouch’. Some ‘Ouches’ are small and they can add up, like a sum, to a big ‘Ouch’ Blind spots are made of horrid stuff – that’s not real though they feel real until you see through them.”
Bear with me please – this is such pure information, and can make for such huge important changes.
She and I talked for a couple of hours about ‘blind spots’ and I’m about to have the impudence to précis our talk!!OK – examples are the simplest way to précis.
Your parent, parents, teacher, friend, sibling communicates to your ‘me’:
“Your (me is) stupid – ugly – useless – a failure – unacceptable………….”
Your ‘me’ feels ‘Ouch’
Add a few ‘Ouches’ together and your ‘me’ – your real beautiful bright useful acceptable ‘me’ goes into hiding, withdraws.
And your ‘me’ often takes your MoJo with it – into hiding.
The ‘blind spot’ pitches up so you no longer see your real beautiful bright useful acceptable ‘me’.
The ‘blind spot’ was created out of a non real, non true substance from a wrong communication, which caused an ‘Ouch’, from parents, teacher, friend, sibling.
By the way, seeing through the wrong communication does not take away the good parts from your Mum, Dad, friend…….
So why would you bother to restore your ‘me’ to ‘it’s’ rightful place and state of harmony?Because when our ‘me’ is in hiding we have symptoms such as difficulty relating, sleeplessness, phobias, can’t relate to food in a good way, get nervous, lack self esteem. These and symptoms like them deprive you of a fully happy, harmonious life.
So how can you begin to restore your ‘me’ to ‘its’ rightful place of being safe, acceptable, beautiful, and therefore successful?

Get started on one of my half an hour a day for forty days courses on CD or MP3 download. (Money back guarantee.)
Have a look at the websites https://www.sally-stubbs.com/ and http://www.hypnosisdownloadcd.co.uk/
You will comfortably find and restore your ‘me’.
Your ‘me’ has your MoJo which once you’ve found it enables you to be and do whatever you want.
Jon contacted me; he wanted to do one of my courses and did not know which one. He said: “My problem is I’m really stupid.”
Although he is a successful business man, and he has two uni. Degrees, nice family and second home in France, he believed he was really stupid. I said: “I understand you believe you are stupid.”He did my 40 day, 30 mins a day CD course Gain Self Esteem. He found his ‘me’!
Contact me if you would like my advice, on my private email sally@sally-stubbs.com
Once we find our ‘me’ and is restored to ‘it’s’ rightful place, like the writing that runs throughout a stick of rock, we easily become the ‘ever vigilant guardian of our ‘inner’ space – meaning the ‘Ouches’ from others no longer can enter our ‘inner space – Just as we do not allow others to enter our home and dump their ‘muck’ in our living room!!
Thinking of you warmly,Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endurehttps://www.sally-stubbs.com/