The vain queen stood before the mirror and said, ‘Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?’

The mirror, a little too proud of itself, replied, ‘Fair in what sense, your majesty? Equal pay for equal work? Distributing the exact same number of jellybeans to everybody for dessert? Whoa, I see by the invisible daggers shooting from your eyes that it’s my opinion on beauty you’re after. Well then, bottom line, when you get down to the nitty gritty, it’s in the eye of the beholder, isn’t it. What can I say? Your own brand of beauty is certainly top notch, as any blind rabbit could see. In my opinion, you’re definitely in the top five now dwelling in the realm, which when you think of it is saying quite a lot really. And the other four can’t hold a candle to your queenly garb. If they did, we’d have queen flambe’. Ha ha ha.’

At this point, the queen wrenched the mirror from the wall and dashed it to pieces on the stone floor.

One of the shards managed to croak, ‘You! It’s you! You’re the fairest!’ By then, of course, it was too late.