SilentDawning wrote:I suppose my question is why you resigned in 2008...resigning is a pretty big step, so I'm interested in knowing what changed since then to make it so you are considering rejoining, with only a small concern about the BoM (if I read your intro correctly).

I hadn't been active in 18 years. Except for brief stints. My work schedule had not permitted regular Sunday attendance, hence no way to accept any callngs. No home teachers usually sought me out. Maybe once every five to six years. I never refused to see them: I just seem to have not been a priority.

And my questions were somewhat akin to those of one of the September Six, insofar as I saw Scripture (not just the BoM) as often more allegorical than historical. 'Infallible on matters of faith and morals', not necessarily in secular subjects. What they were calling "Chapel Mormonism" for a while was/is much more literalist and I wasn't sure if I still fit in. If I spoke up about my style of reading Scriptures, would I have faced a Bishops Court?

Meanwhile, I had other things going on religiously. I served as an at large pastor for a nondenominational Chrstian ministry. I volunteered for awhile at the local VA hospital. Felt I was doing well enough spiritually.

I had become a big coffee drinker, a moderate tea drinker, due to the long and irregular shifts I worked. So no Temple recommend, no temple ordinances. And since I was not attending, I wasn't tithing either.

My quiet low-key heterodoxy combined with my involvement in other religious groups meant I was pretty well unplugged from Mormonism, so why retain a nominal membership?

SilentDawning wrote:Got it -- that helps me understand the history -- what was the trigger to consider coming back? If you don't mind me asking all these questions

Longish story. With two main elements.

I went through a divorce some 20 years ago. My first wife wasn't LDS either. Nor are any of my family. However, after my divorce, my Mom told me I should consider going back to the Mormon Church, because I "always seemed happier there".

She has brought it up, just in passing a couple of times since then. Most recently, back in October.

Second part of this: I have a disabled friend who served several years as a Baptist pastor. His illnesses have kept him out of the pulpit for about fifteen years, which suits him fine: most Baptist churches these days expect a pastor to accomodate contemporary worship and modern Bible translations, both of which he loathes. He has actually attended Christian Science services simply to be able to enjoy a reverent Sunday service using the King James Bible and traditional hymnody.

He has, on-and-off, suggested he might want to attend an LDS service for the same reason. The main obstacle being the three-hour bloc, much longer than he is comfortable with. Also, after he knew that I had left the Church, he didn't want to bug me.

He was being cared for, for several months, by a Mormon home-health nurse. She and he would briefly discuss Latter-Day Saint matters and he would come to me with questions, some of which thrust me into reading about the Church to check my own answers.

All of this converged in mid-February, when Mom had a health crisis which has led to a terminal diagnosis. She has brought up the LDS Church again. And she asked for prayer, not something she has ever done before. Which made me wish that I could have offered her a Priesthood blessing

At the same time, my friend's nurse changed jobs and he wanted to get her an appropriate parting gift. I suggested a leatherbound edition of Jesus the Christ (these become available regularly, and my friend sells used books to supplement his income and has resources to enable him to find a nice, clean copy). His nurse also asked him to attend an LDS sacrament service once, and promised to go out of her way to attend with him if he ever wanted to go.

We made initial plans to do this, which fell through b/c my friend's health went down for a few weeks. (He is better, and still says he wants to go sometime). I decided to go on my own, realized how much I have missed it, and the rest is history.

Mom is in a nursing care facility several hundred miles from me, and I can only see her once or so a month. I did tell her, during my last visit, that I was going back to the Mormon Church. She seemed pleased and said she'd told me a long time ago that she thought I'd be happier there. This from a woman who has NEVER SEEN the inside of an LDS meetinghouse.

Ann wrote:Hi, flameburns - I'm glad you're here and hope you enjoy it. I think you'd like listening to Dan Wotherspoon at mormonmatters.org. His podcasts are l-o-n-g, but he likes these issues, and usually discusses them with a panel.

"It is not so much the pain and suffering of life which crushes the individual as it is its meaninglessness and hopelessness." C. A. Elwood

“It is not the function of religion to answer all the questions about God’s moral government of the universe, but to give one courage, through faith, to go on in the face of questions he never finds the answer to in his present status.” TPC: Harold B. Lee 223

"I struggle now with establishing my faith that God may always be there, but may not always need to intervene" Heber13

Welcome to the forum. There are many wise and experienced people here. I don't profess to be one of them. My father is a convert originally from St Louis. We love that place. I am one who, like many others, is trying to expand the perimeters of the LDS tent to be more inclusive. It is a slow moving and methodical church. I guess you could say conservative.

Anyway, if you feel you are ready and want the support, comradarie of the saints, don't feel that a literal testimony is a requirement. Many here have a very nuanced view of gospel topics. I would be cautious of who you share that with and what you say so that you are not labeled.

The church can be very uplifting to many or most. It doesn't always work and sometimes that is because of personal situations and other times because of lack of fit with the ward.

Best of luck. You will know where your heart is.

Do I have the faith to stay inside the village that my courageous ancestors created for me, or the courage to chase the truth, do the hard thing, choose what is right, and let the consequences follow? The answer is whatever is best for my children. TBD.

I am a completely active, heterodox (differently thinking) but orthoprax (standardly living) member who sees many things symbolically that others see literally.

Welcome. We discuss issues here, openly and broadly, and have radically different views than each other of many things, but we are committed to staying LDS in whatever way and to whatever degree possible.

I see through my glass, darkly - as I play my saxophone in harmony with the other instruments in God's orchestra. (h/t Elder Joseph Wirthlin)

Even if people view many things differently, the core Gospel principles (LOVE; belief in the unseen but hoped; self-reflective change; symbolic cleansing; striving to recognize the will of the divine; never giving up) are universal.

"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

There's a new bishop in charge of my ward, as of last week. We will be getting together in the next couple of weeks to discuss my situation. I'm going to spend the next several days preparing to sit down with him.

I can't recall if this has been mentioned, but I would recommend you don't tell your bishop "what you don't believe". Instead tell him what you struggle believing. Also tell him some of the positive things you feel about the church (great ward members, etc.)

A slight change of words can sometimes make a big difference in how you are perceived.