“If you ask a Russian lady even an innocent question, like if she thinks sex is important in a marriage, she will feel awkward… But, nevertheless, will still agree to that threesome with you and the guy in the clown costume, and won’t ever question the fact you’re turned on by a corn cob in the ass.”

– Is it easy to take a married woman home?
– Jesus Christ… Are you kidding? Married women in Lithuania are the EASIEST. Lithuanian men are fucking losers… and when they marry a woman, they think they don’t have to do ANYTHING anymore. That they already bought the cow…. So, these women are so neglected.

– I just think it is a bad idea to fuck with something that can have a hundred babies. Kill one spider and you’ve got a hundred pissed off little guys out for revenge.
– But I’m so scared of them…
– You think they’re not scared of you? I mean… How would you react to a giant blonde thing, which is 2000 times bigger than you?
– Then why are they coming if they’re so scared?
– The same reason why men come after giant blonde things – they’re hungry and not so smart.

– I want that idiot to buy me shoes. This is my little aim.
– Which one is the idiot? Cause neither of them did sound particularly smart.
– The one I like.
– When in doubt…. Anal = new shoes. It is like some universal law.
– But I want him to buy me those stupid shoes WITHOUT ME DOING A THING. Cause using some stupid laws… Well, that simply doesn’t make me a winner.
– You are trying to cheat gravity.

<…>
– You don’t like to be a bit of a slut?
– I do, but definitely not in this case.
– Why not?
– Well, I just don’t want to be seen as a slut.
– I actually see you as an intelligent and sexy woman, but… I can tell you… I’d fuck you like you didn’t even know how to tie your shoes. And well enough… That if you did know how, you’d suddenly forget.
– You wish. Anyway, earlier you told me you don’t fuck blondes…
– Is all of your hair blonde?
– LOL. Good answer, though.
– Well, it is relevant.