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Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Sometimes we look so hard for Wrecks we fail to see the forest for the trees, as it were. After all, it doesn't take crazy sculpted nonsense or illiterate scrawlings to make a Wreck; sometimes all you need is a healthy dose of what I like to call "the fugly":

Die, tie-dye! Die!(You know, I bet a lot of you are going to like this one. Well, rest assured I won't be calling you a tasteless hippie if you do; I'll just give you one of my patented sardonic looks. Like this: [sardonic look]. Crippling, isn't it?)

I actually made something like this once. Of course, it was with finger paints, and I was three at the time, but still...

Really, the first cake is for a baby shower? Wow, I suddenly don't feel so bad about the baby shower cakes I've done! Thanks for that.

And you really let the second "cake" off easily. There's a lot more wrong with that cake than just the green streaks and the fact that it's a CCC. What's with the yellow stuff all over the cake? Are they supposed to be worms?

The first one is obviously a shower cake because she's going to be seeing that color a LOT in the next few months.The second one I swore said "Here Lies Sarah Heathen's Youth"...I thought maybe she grew up in one of those disapproving families that didn't go for you finding your own spiritual calling. (unclean, unclean!)I won't say I like the tie dye, but it gives me happy memories of ruining my friend's bedroom carpet with one of those paint swirl things, aka Centrifuge Junior.And that last one is almost vaguely Van Gogh...as re-created by his three year old nephew.

The first one looks like something is growing on it, so I'm not sure you'd want to eat that one. The tie-dye may not be too bad in real life... would have to see it. I give them propsfor trying a difficult idea (I'm guessing a request, I'd hope they'd only do that with a request). It's a little too much though.

Wow, I need to remember to NOT be drinking something while reading about the wrecks....it almost came out my nose! Let me give you a sardonic look back! [sardonic look] Even more crippling, right? OK, maybe not.

Hmm...about the last cake.... I've seen alot of amateur cake decorators come and go and one thing that has constantly amazed me.... No matter how ugly the cake they produce....there is always a customer out there willing to buy it it. Yep...makes me shake my head every time. But someone WILL buy that cake. I can almost guarantee it. I don't understand it but that doesn't change the fact. Wait...( Light bulb click) Maybe thay're buying them only to show them on cake wrecks.....Nope! (sigh!)

#1 looks like a recycled Hallowe'en cake - it looks like a sugar bat was removed making that white "void" on the left, and maybe the orange blobs are pumpkins?? But I don't get the orange+green=brown airbrushing.

#2 would make more sense if the brown blobs were more grave-mound shaped. Man, that's ugly.

#3 is kinda cool. :D And I am immune to your sardonic look, as I am wearing my specially-coated glasses this morning. Had I been wearing my contacts, the blow might have been fatal.

#4 0_o Huh?! Utterly baffled by that one. Hallowe'en again? (What else could that color combo be part of?)

I'm with Maria - I like the *idea* of a tie-dye cake, and the top isn't so bad. But the sides... egads.

It actually reminds me of the little paint spinner I had as a kid. Insert a card, drip paint, and ta da! tie-dye style post cards. Or, in my case, tie-dye style trash since I don't think we ever did anything with them.

However, that method probably wouldn't be good for doing a cake, though cleaning the mess off of the walls would be tasty.

Why does the second one have cannon balls piled in the corners??And the tie-dye one.... Like Maria said, I like the IDEA of a tie-dye cake. This one is rather too sloppy and hurts the eye more than I'd expect from tie-dye.The first one defies the comment-generating portion of my brain right now. Wow.

LOL to the Trekkie reference it does look like that! Wouldn't the tie die look like tie die, and better, if it was airbrushed? Not only does the 1st look like it has been sitting in the back for a looong time, did they sell it with the boo boo on top?

I'm sure they are all beautiful on the inside. "...that's better than not pretty at all...too bad i'm an outside pretty kinda [gal]..." (http://www.tabcrawler.com/search.php?show=viewfile&letter=m&artist=misc%20unsigned%20bands&tabname=ceann%20-%20pretty%20on%20the%20inside&tabtype=chords&id=55410)

What's with the glossiness on that first one? And I don't even know what that last one is supposed to be. It's almost like they had leftover frosting and then made the cake. Badly. Are there really that many people who do this for a living and don't care? I would be embarrassed if I made these.

Boy, that first one...yecch. And I would like to know the thought process behind the last one. (Actually, I'd like to know the thought process behind most of the cakes on this site.)

But I think we have a great opportunity presented with the second one. If the submitting Heather is also the Heather whose youth lies in that sketchy cake, I have a few questions. First, what are the brown things in the middle of the cake? My guess is open graves--was that explained to you? Secondly, how did you respond to receiving this cake? Obviously, you thought it would be perfect for cakewrecks and grabbed a camera (nice work), but how did the whole presentation go down other than that? Third, who gave this to you, and are you still friends?

maybe i should become a cake decorator at my local supermarket because it looks like i could some easy money and not really show up -- or be distracted by all the things of life... or maybe even take long naps... seems like a better job than the one i have to work hard at (although i probably wouldn't be able to read your blog during work hours...)

The third cake is just misunderstood. I think the wreckerator was going for an impressionistic feel. Am I the only one who thinks "Monet" when I look at it. Of course you know what they say about Monet's nowdays don't you? If you don't check the urban dictionary :)

AUHhh, my throbbing temples...What really bothers me--nay, haunts me--about the first cake is the LOOK on the little crescent moon's FACE. I think of it has a "he." Click on to enlarge the photo--go on; I'll wait.Now, look at it. REALLY look at it. Do you see it?? He looks positively lost, as if he has no idea how he ended up in such a situation. And he doesn't think he likes it there in Gloomy Land. In fact, he looks kind of aghast, or that he knows that he is stuck, with no way out. Poor little moon.And what about those wonky little blobs adhering to the sides of this creation like barnacles? They almost look like chick peas, but with fleas. I just don't know.The only redeeming thing (ha ha) is that if you look at the thing at an angle (tilt you head to the right), and squint really hard, you can make out a sort of smiley face wherein the moon is a *smile*, and the pale, yellowy blobs can play as the (unevenly aligned) eyes and one crooked eyebrow.No, I am not *on* anything.=^!!^=

The cake with the moon on it is eeew. A mustard yellow-pea green sky for a baby shower? with uncloud like blobs. After studying it a bit, I can't decided if the white is where the airbrushing cracked or if someone pulled some things off it. Some of the lumpiness might be an illusion created by the airbrushing, but the ragged edges sez it's not. That scalloped lace-like cake stand under it just makes the whole thing worse, not better.

The 'over the hill' cake looks like the decorator was still in elementary school. Bright green airbrushing looks like crayon scribbles, the random yellow squiggles, the cannonballs, the poo graves surrounded by greener grass..lol. What are those 'cannonballs' anyway? They remind me of the fake grape clusters in a bowl of artificial fruit my granny had.

I do like the top of the tie-dye cake, but not the sides. Shoulda gone with a solid color. I'd like to know how they made it.

Hahaha on the tie dye cake ~ we went to a party recently that had one, except much, much worse than your hideous example (think finger paints overdone... it was kinda muddy ick color). The first thing my son whispered in my ear upon seeing said cake: "Mom, did you bring your camera? That is SUCH a CakeWreck!"

I don't like the tie dye one and I am the queen of tie dye. I like the idea of the tie dye cake, I in fact, really want to like the tie dye cake. I was soooo ready to be all mad at you for bashing it, but it was actually just sort of wrong. I know how we hate the airbrush around here, but I bet you could do a wicked tie dye cake with an airbrush.

I can understand the moon on the baby shower cake, I can almost understand the yellow roses (They would have worked better if they weren't, you know, ancient) I don't understand the green and yellow sky. My thought is this was a cake for a baby shower 20 odd years ago that for some reason, didn't happen. The new momma then held on to that cake, and when her baby was ready to have a babyshower of her own, she brought it out.

WV: finesobs. When the customers saw these cakes, they all emmited finesobs.

So I'm guessing the first one was an attempt at a peaceful night scene -- moon and probably clouds. So yes, a muted, darker colour on the background. But honestly, how could you see the result and not realize you had made a horrible, horrible mistake?

I think the tie dye cake sort of reminds me of those Mardi Gras King Cakes...only without the big hole in the middle, filling and all the beads and such........or maybe the colors just make me think of Mardi Gras. Who Knows?

Sending the Clowns is right...the moon is a bit aghast at how he ended up on that cake. Also, if you tilt your head to the right, it really DOES look like a quirkly little smiley face...much better. Why are there 3 freshly dug graves, when only two "youths" are being memorialized though? Scary...

I swear the first one looks like it is a left over halloween cake. See the white spots that were the bats used to be...aaah now you see it huh? And the awful round orange flowers with mangled leaves...pumpkins still on the vine.All I can say is WOW. I can't even believe we still find wrecks. The other day I saw one of those "balloon" cakes that looks like well you know.

I'm not saying that I like the tie-dye cake, but I am kind of impressed that someone felt they could undertake such a challenge. I imagine it must have been a rather messy process in which fingers got continuously licked... eww.

The second one I swore said "Here Lies Sarah Heathen's Youth"...I thought maybe she grew up in one of those disapproving families that didn't go for you finding your own spiritual calling. (unclean, unclean!)I won't say I like the tie dye, but it gives me happy memories of ruining my friend's bedroom carpet with one of those paint swirl things, aka Centrifuge Junior.

And you really let the second "cake" off easily. There's a lot more wrong with that cake than just the green streaks and the fact that it's a CCC. What's with the yellow stuff all over the cake?Sell Digital Products

I agree with some of the other commenters - I like the idea of a tie-dye cake. I do not like THAT tie-dye cake. Honestly, I think what it needs is more white space. You know how, if you tie the cloth really tight before dipping it in dye, you get lots of white space between the streaks of color? If you could get a cake like that, it'd probably look more like an actual cake and less like something the Sesame Street gang has been shedding all over.

Did someone pick the bats of the first cake? I am assuming those orange blobs resting on a nest of green squiggles are pumpkins. This sad attempt at a Halloween cake looks like the cakes you have posted that have been sitting in the window for a decade.

The second cake is just... well... It's just crap. If I went to go pick it up and the bakery handed me that cake, I'd give it back. It's amazing what they consider 'passable' these days. Yikes.

As for the tie-dye... well... I hate tie-dye to begin with, it reminds me of smelly VW buses and slow-witted, watery-eyed, armpity-smelling people with birkenstocks. Not exactly something that stimulates one's appetite for sweet cake. Blurgh.

I agree with the person who said the first one looked like a Halloween cake that had some decorations removed, the white spot on the left is definitely bat shaped and the right side could be a spider on a web. The yellowish blobs up top just confuse me, are they covering something? Was somebody regifting a cake?

My comment is so low it probably wont reach anyone.. But as a cake decorator that works primarily with Bakery Crafts and Decopac designs.... Sad to say, that Grim Reaper design is right on mark. Thats the way the demo page in the cake book looks. Or, at least, thats the way last years design looked. The new version is somewhat better.

Yeah. So I think the idea of the a tie dye cake could be cute. But I feel like it requires limiting yourself to 2 colors and leaving copious amounts of plain vanilla buttercream so that the streaking/"tie dyeing" comes out like on a real shirt rather than like a hallucination of epic proportions.

My five year old son looked at the last one and said, "There's shrimp on it!" Looking at it more closely, he added " and lettuce and mashed up beans!" After he pointed that out, I did notice a Swanson TV dinner vibe about it.

The first cake is obviously the post apocalyptic sky. The moon is sad because she is facing a celestial lifetime with her nuclear winter lover earth. The white blobs are fading mushroom clouds. It is a deep, philosophical commentary on the lonliness and despair of coming into the world in these times. Very appropriate for a baby shower cake. Welcome to the world, baby!

in defense of two of those cakes, it's very hard to get a good smooth "fade" color on frosting when you're using frosting dye because your bosses are too cheap to get an airbrush machine. (can you tell it is my woe?)

do you guys seriously believe that first one is a baby cake? Does anyone besides my sister and me see the skulls lining the sides? and I'm with wendy, those white bits are certainly left over from when some one pulled the bats off the cake. I mean really, pumpkins moon, bat bits, and skulls. For a baby shower?!?! either some wreckporter wanted extra wreckie credit, or some baker needs a hearing aid. Admittedly, the moon could be scarier, and the pumpkins need some work, but they're not very good flowers either. Sitll a terrible cake though. I love your blog!

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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

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