EXCELLENT ACTIVE SUPER AMUSIVE PLAY! || Thoughtfully conceived and lovingly injection-crafted products, designed and produced entirely without reference to sensible product development practices, market research, corporate legal signoff, or even basic proofreading -- indeed, without any oversight whatsoever -- some of which are available to YOU, the highest bidder, ever, in history. Hosted by your new bestest buddy, HELLO WAGNER!

The Simpsons || Two parents. Three children. Maybe four. Springfield is nowhere nearby, but Springerville is. After that, everything you know about The Simpsons is wrong.

The Mojave Phone Booth Project || The most popular item on deuceofclubs.com. Why? We're not sure. It was just a working phone booth in the middle of nowhere in the Mojave Desert. But for a working phone booth in the middle of nowhere in the Mojave Desert, it had a lot of friends.

The Mountain Monogram Project || Why are there huge letters on the sides of mountains in the American Southwest? Yeah, I know what they stand for. But who thought of it? How did they begin? Any help you can offer may constitute evidence of insanity. But think about it -- that could come in useful one day.

oobiland! || Just two eyes and a hollow interior, it's ... Al Gore! No, no, it's ... oobi! Much as we disdain hippies, we LUUUV oobi!

666 Cough Syrup || Another old favorite. What damage control is like when brand-name recognition of your product consists of people crossing themselves and crossing to the other side of the store aisle.