Monday, June 12, 2006

What's Up, Pope?

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored!" This is a pagan site, dedicated to rounding up millions of Jews and killing them, in preparation for rounding up even more Christians and killing them.

We here at "The Gods Are Bored" are grateful to His Holiness, Pope Benedict Whatever, for explaining that the Holocaust was engineered and carried out by "neo-pagans." Since "neo" means "new," that must mean anyone who has newly become a pagan. So that includes moi!

So. Fair warning. The next time you see people in flowing robes, dancing around a Maypole and saying prayers to goddesses and stuff, please be aware that they are merely plotting their next Final Solution.

Yeah, it works like this. Anne can't even pull baby oak trees up in her garden, but she'd have no problem shoving Pat Robertson and all his followers into gas chambers and bulldozing the bodies into mountainous piles.

Oh PLEEEEEEEEEEEZE!

Pat, you're safe in my house, you can eat my good country cookin', you can go out into the barnyard and chat up my ram John Henry, you can sleep in my fold-out bed, and you can use my water closet. The same goes for all you Roman Catholics out there. My two best friends are Roman Catholic, my in-laws are all Roman Catholic (husband lapsed, not my fault), and I have even been known to come to the defense of Roman Catholic priests on this very site.

So, Pat and Pope, I guess I'm a thorn in your sides, but you sure ain't no big fat problem to me. I figure it like this: You keep making these idiot statements, you'll give us pagans a real good name in comparison.

Can't speak for a single other person in the whole wide world, but if I saw Osama bin Laden sneaking through my backyard, I couldn't kill him any more than I can these sweet little baby oak trees.