I had the breast cancer scare which led to a cervical cancer diagnosis, subsequent treatment, and eventual eradication (hopefully forever).

John began his own highly successful sports league while juggling movie production and his regular job.

We watched several close friends struggle through divorce, which inevitably rocked our own marriage, especially for John.

We gained a daughter, Myla, and lost her to miscarriage. That, itself, was a terrible trial for John and myself.

We finally put the pieces of the "Vince Puzzle" together and started seeking therapy for his Sensory Processing Disorder. We also went through the trials of school and daycare - dear Lord... what a process!

We had to say goodbye to folks we love and care about.

So these, among other random bits, have caused us to grow, change, and love more deeply. Looking back at this journey has made me so incredibly appreciative of the marriage I have and the friends and family who have supported us these last ten years.

As a result, I want to throw a special party this year. It's only our 7th year as a married couple, but it's our 10th together as a couple.

I want to throw a fire hall banquet, invite all those who have supported us through love, prayer and example and celebrate the blessings they've all been to John and I.

I want this to serve as both a THANK YOU to our family and friends for being so supportive over the years, and as a "Marriage is Worth It!" witness.

So many of those in our group of friends are incredibly jaded about the institution of marriage. They are vehemently against marriage on the grounds that it's an archaic, pointless practice that only ends in divorce, they are indifferent, or they look at marriage as something they can't do until they've amassed enough golden eggs (whether that be money, a house, career satisfaction, etc). Very few of our friends look at marriage as a sacrament of power, love and beauty.

That makes me sad. It really does.

So while I want to thank everyone for their support of us, I also want to show our friends that marriage IS something worth investing in. And once you are married, it's worth fighting for. It's a constant choice to love one another, every day. The honeymoon fades and the cutesy names will sometimes turn sour. However, with support and love, a married couple can weather the natural dips in romance and find a deeper, truer connection than they started out with.

When I asked John if he'd be OK with this, he was, but thought the idea of "throwing ourselves a party" was tacky. He said he'd feel like an idiot explaining to people the purpose of the celebration.

I can understand his hesitation. I mean, who the heck throws a 7th anniversary party? To me, though, it's perfect timing. Usually the 7th year is associated with the "7 Year Itch" in which couples are often teased about the eventuality of affairs stemming from the stagnation of marital relations.

For us, this 7th year - though incredibly emotional - has been anything but stagnant. John and I love one another better now than we ever have.

And I say "better" because we both make the conscious decision to be better spouses to each other.

So I do want to celebrate that, especially given the fact that we have the added bonus of me being cancer-free (assuming the annual test comes back clear which I'm sure it will).

We've got a lot to be thankful for, and I feel my gratitude overflowing. As such, I want to use it to thank others and share those blessings we've received with others.

Is a party a bad idea? Do you think maybe I should rethink how I go about doing this? I'm not looking for gifts or anything. I don't want anything from anyone. I want to do this FOR everyone. Our anniversary just happens to provide a perfect backdrop.

I think it's a great idea! Like you said, it's not common to celebrate the 7th anniversary so it makes sense you'd throw your own party rather than waiting for someone else to do it for you. And it's not like your going to list all those reasons you just stated when you invite people. Your reasons are your own and I'm sure all your family and friends will just be happy to be together and with you and John to celebrate whatever you want.

And I love that y want to show your friends that marriage IS worth it.. I tell people a lot that the wedding is easy, it's the marriage that takes work. No one ever wants to hear that, they think if it's not sunshine and unicorns frolicking in fields of daisies, then it's not worth it. I think the work a person puts into a marriage shows how much they love their spouse, not that it's not worth it. <3

Reply

Gina

3/25/2014 05:38:03 am

Do you guys have friends who are in the same boat as ours? I'm so glad there are folks out there my age who are fighting the good fight for marriage.

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one. {hugs}

Wish you weren't so far away!!! <3 <3 <3

Reply

Amanda

3/25/2014 05:29:03 am

Would you or your husband be interested in renewing your vows or having some kind of little ceremony? A lot of people renew their vows and then celebrate with friends and family almost like a mini-wedding reception. If you are worried about "throwing yourself a party" that is a way in that is more common and usually hosted by the couple? Just an idea.

Reply

Gina

3/25/2014 05:37:00 am

Amanda, you actually raise a great point I totally forgot to mention!

We can't do a renewal of vows because, frankly, I don't want to put John on the spot regarding the vow of being open to life. While I'm obviously open to it, he is not. You can't have a renewal of vows without that one, so I opted, instead, to ask the priest who married us to do a simple blessing.

He said he could do that, so we'll be starting the party off with a blessing of our marriage. At least that's the idea, anyway.

I haven't really fleshed this all out yet, but thanks for reminding me about that!!!

I like Amanda's idea as well. I am really considering setting a date to renew our vows. We've been through a lot as a couple and are still battling. We will also be married for 7 years this May. I just registered us for a Marriage Encounter in June and I am hoping that between that, a new church and some hard work this year will be OUR year. I would love to renew our vows and show other couples and heck ourselves that IT CAN work.

I am praying for your cancer free scan. I am so far away from one but would love one myself. I am on my 3rd diagnosis. Battling for 7 years. :(

Reply

Gina

3/25/2014 05:50:39 am

{hugs} Prayers to you, Jodi!

I'm excited for your Marriage Encounter in June. That, honestly, was the turning point in our marriage. The weekend is so incredibly necessary for every married couple. I credit it so much with helping begin the healing process. So glad your husband is willing!

As for the cancer, you've got all my love. If you ever need to vent, feel free to find me.

I am excited and nervous about the marriage encounter, our little one (she's six) is not great with staying with sitters, other than grandma that lives several thousand miles away but we are going to make it work because without one another there isn't anything.

I emailed you yesterday. I felt so inspired, I read a LOT of your blog yesterday. We had just attended a mass on Sunday after being away from the church for so long and I found your blog and knew it was meant to be.

I am so happy for your and John, that things are getting back on track. You are an amazing woman.

Reply

Gina

3/25/2014 06:20:10 am

Oh wow - that is close! John and I are the 26th.

I was super nervous to leave Vince when we went, but as you said, the best gift you can give your kids is a solid marriage to your spouse.

Kudos to you. I can't wait to hear all about your experience!

Reply

Susan

3/26/2014 10:06:52 pm

I think it's a fabulous idea and so does my sister. If it will be Father Angelo who will be doing the simple blessing of your vows please post some pictures of it....he has such a beautiful spirit.

Reply

Gina

3/27/2014 12:11:41 am

Ha ha - you know it!

However, I'll be inviting my pastor as well because 1) he's never met my husband and I've always teased him about coming over to quickly convert him by force and 2) he's being so generous in offering the hall to us for private use.