The Campaign For DA

10.14.2016

In the Land of the Free, let's check in on what Denton considers illegal and will lock someone up for:

For the first time in fifty years, no member of the Board of Regents at Baylor will be in the homecoming parade. The reason? They don't want to face the angry masses for their ridiculous mishandling of a crisis.

Trump sure was playing the victim of a "vast right wing/left wing/media conspiracy" yesterday.

For the first time ever, I paid for lawn care this summer. The verdict: Why didn't I do this sooner?

I didn't know that WFAA's Cynthia Izaguirre told John McCaa on the air that she was sad about the Rangers' loss "but golly, they are healthy and they've got great jobs and maybe there is next year." Hey, Izzy -- may I call you Izzy? - Don't try to cross talk about sports. (I can't find a link.)

"Police in Carrollton, Texas, were surprised with a choreographed dance routine when they responded to a noise complaint." Video. I thought that story was about a group calling the cops out for the surprise but, if the story is to be believed, it was a legitimate noise complaint and not guys trying to become famous via youtube. Maybe.

After Ken Bone's popularity declined because of the Uber ad, it really took a hit when it was discovered what he had posted on Redditt. (He had a couple of hot criminal justice and porn opinions.) I bet he'll turn into a Ken Bone broke bad meme today.

"The Chico Community Volunteer Fire Department is holding Dr. Demented’s Haunted House of Mayhem . . . ." I bet they sat around the table and argued about that name for a while. And, of course, not to be confused with Dr. Demento or this 2001 thriller:

Hey, I've never heard of that book but someone explain the two categories of paperback prices for it on Amazon.

The Dallas Police and Fire Pension is going belly up with the $2.39 billion fund to become insolvent by 2028. The again, if any pension fund will get saved by the taxpayers, it will be that one. (Doesn't the Fund own the high rise that reflects sun onto the sculpture museum?)

Speaking of my healthy skepticism, the three Gainesville Clown Home Invaders were arrested. All were under 15 and the incident allegedly has something to do with the victim's son. (WBAP said this morning that the "lead" in the case came when one of the boys was identified by the victim by his clothes. Cue the Serial theme.) And it looks like only one of them was wearing a clown mask. I'll continue my award winning investigation into these "facts".

Speaking of WBAP, sports director Steve Lamb quizzed the crew on naming the seven Dallas Cowboys to appear on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Someone pipped up with "Emmitt Smith". Lamb said, "No." After a brief awkward silence someone asked, "You sure this isn't a list of just quarterbacks?" Lamb said, "Nope. All time Cowboys." Oops. They eventually convinced him.

That kid who threw the old governor's portrait out of the Texas capitol building is a TCU student. We will continue to seek justice for Gov. Fletcher Stockdale.