Pop culture author Bonnie Burton remembers the internet's infancy and the challenges of moderating heated comments on a message board — the precursor to social media — on "Star Wars."

"Before it was called social media, it was just the internet," she said. "At the beginning, it was community building and sharing fandom and connecting with people all over the world."

Now, Burton said, it's mainly about showing off an idealized version of yourself.

"When your life is on display, you always want to share your best self," she said. "It's all about how can I put myself on display to be cool."

Burton, who's also a technology and science journalist and a comedian, is one of three panelists addressing "FOMO (fear of missing out) & Growing Up With Your Life on Display" on Tuesday at the University of Colorado's Conference on World Affairs.

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Burton, a CU grad making her second CWA appearance, said she appreciates how open-ended the topics are and kind of wishes for a return to a past practice of keeping panel topics hidden from the speakers until right before the session started.

"I like that idea of being so completely off guard," she said.

Her take on the phenomenon of putting your life on display through social media is that "there are really great parts and really horrible parts."

Bonnie Burton (Courtesy Photo)

One positive is creating debate and discussion and introducing people who live in more isolated parts of the country to new ideas, such as gender fluidity.

"It's helping people connect and learn about humanity," she said.

But social media also can bring out the worst in people. Especially for women, online bullying can be rampant, Burton said.

"You get used to being harassed," she said. "Thank God for mute and block."

Her big caution for teens as they grow up immersed in social media is, "The internet is forever."

"When your life is on display, even if you're putting your best self forward, your worst self can show up," she said. "You just have to be smart about your privacy settings. You have to be smart when you live your life online."

Ty Tashiro (Courtesy Photo)

Fellow panelist Ty Tashiro, an author and social scientist, took the scientific approach and researched the topic, noting his background knowledge was limited.

"I wrote one article five years ago on millennials and dating," he said. "The nice thing about CWA is you end up learning from other people who are more knowledgable than you on a topic or have a different perspective."

In psychological research, he said, fear of missing out is a "fundamental human experience," with social media as "the modern manifestation of this fundamental need to belong."

Tashiro said technology can exacerbate existing vulnerabilities or, if used well, could instead enhance social relationships.

Lisa Marie Simmons (Courtesy Photo)

On the negative side, he said, people strategically self-present on social media, creating a twisted reality. Then there's the pressure to be connected and on social media at all times.

"Most teenagers sleep with their smartphones," he said. "It can be constant torture."

But, he said, for people who don't feel like they're part of the in crowd, technology can help them connect with others with similar interests. For teens who are socially adept, research shows they can use technology to support others and find people to connect with face-to-face, he said.

The other panelist, Lisa Marie Simmons, a Fairview High graduate and singer and songwriter who lives in Italy, said she can talk about having her life on display through her personal experience of blogging.

"With a blog, it's just me on display," she said. "It's not easy to do. It's frightening. It's much easier in songs. You can hide behind lyrics. You can make them abstract."

Though it can be frightening, she said, it's also worthwhile.

"If you don't put yourself in vulnerable situations, it's really difficult for you to grow in any way," Simmons said.

As a musician, she added, social media is a valuable marketing tool and allows her to live in a "tiny little town" on the coast of Lake Garda and still get gigs.

"If I wasn't online and didn't have videos that people could see, I wouldn't be able to live the life I'm living," she said. "I would have to be in a big city, performing constantly."

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