Monday, January 25, 2010

I've never treated it. I mean, I know some neurologists do, but most of us don't. It requires some additional training that I don't have.

In fact, when you called last week, both Annie and Mary told you I don't, and tried to give you some names of docs who do. You insisted on making the appointment with me anyway, saying you had "other neurological issues", too.

So, now that you're here, you tell me that you really don't have other issues, and you just made the appointment to discuss your Glermfronger's. And guess what? I still don't treat it. You coming into my office didn't magically give me the ability to treat it, like you apparently thought it would.

And handing me an insurance auth from your family doc saying "refer to neurology for Glermfronger's disease" doesn't miraculously make me treat it, either. So stop repeatedly showing it to me.

Oh, I get it, if it's on your insurance auth it MUST be true.

And now you tell me that there actually is a neurologist on your insurance who does treat it, but she's 5 miles from your house, and I'm only 3 miles. So you thought you'd lie to get in here, hoping to save some driving.

Well, you've now wasted a 1 hour slot for both of us, and your crappy insurance won't pay me for it, and someone else who needed to come in today is waiting for another day because of your selfishness and stupidity.

Glermfrongers disease. Interesting condition. Requires highly specialised neurological treatment, simulates rotting of the frontal lobes and still leaves you able to hold a driving licence... Sounds super tentorial to me!! But then Freud did start off as a neurologist.

Funny. We got a call at our hospital switchboard today from a woman who was looking for a doctor who will treat fibromyalgia...apparently all the doctors around here will tell you that you have it but none will treat it. Haven't they seen the commercial for the drug that treats it? Lord knows that I have about fifteen million times.

I agree with Dr. Woolman--she's definitely got an issue with her frontal lobes. It's also too bad stubborn and stupid are not listed in the ICD-9, because I think this lady suffers from both. There's probably a code for malingering, though--if you can't use swiss-cheese brain (999.99), that'd fit. It's amazing how hard people will work to get...nothing. ;-)

It's also a shame that you can't use some of the techniques used on House. The trap door idea is priceless.

trap door under chair would be fine - but the alligators might get impatient waiting for the next, umm, victim ... actually given your past blog posts .. they probably won't have that long to wait between feeds!

your trapdoor comment reminded me of a book I read - An Irish Country Doctor. In the book, the doc sawed off a little bit from the front to legs of one chair, where he'd have his patients sit to consult.

They'd be sliding forward while talking to him, and keep the visit short.

He had a 2nd chair that he kept normal for the non-annoying patients....I don't know if you'd need a 2nd chair or not : )

I LOVE the idea of the chair with the legs cut just so. Wish we could do that! Unfortunately, there's a Prik in charge of facilities that has to approve every freakin thing in the whole organization. Hmm, that Sweeney Todd trapped door is sounding good right now.

I know you're an M.D. and not a grammarian. I'm not a grammarian... but I must point you to this: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/misspelling

You're not guilty of all of them... but you are guilty of SOME of them. I know I'm likey rong, but when you've spent so much money on skool that you've got a pile-o-letters afters your name, I think it's time know you're from your, its from it's and their and there from they're.

I would LOVE to know what disease a neurologist wouldn't treat, but people think they would. It's like a huge riddle in my mind now. Like it needs a clue in verse in the first person ("I am the disease which is in your...")

You know what's even more annoying than someone accidentally using the wrong form of "your"? People who feel the need to correct it EVERY. TIME. It happens when you're typing...especially while typing fast. Get over it. We all know what it means.

Welcome to my whining!

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