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How Long Will Each of NBC's New Shows Last?

NBC Universal Media
Television upfronts are upon us. Even though the fall TV season has just barely come to a close, with many shows not returning next year (poor Community), the networks have a new crop of shows ready to premiere later this year. NBC has recently announced its fall lineup, including an interesting mix of comedies and dramas. Here's a preview of NBC's upcoming primetime lineup
A to ZWhat It Is: Single-camera sitcom.What It's About: Andrew (Ben Feldman), a romantic at heart, tries to win the girl of his dreams, Zoey (Cristin Milioti).Who's in It: Ben Feldman, Cristin Milioti. What It Sounds Like: Exactly like How I Met Your Mother. It's so similar it's almost a little shameless. Check this: The male lead is a doe-eyed romantic; the female lead wants nothing to do with relationships; an unseen narrator who is also voiced by an actor best known from a '90s sitcom (Katey Sagal), is recounting the whole story; incredible romantic coincidences aplenty involving particularly colored items. It's madness. But at least they don't share a cast member... oh, wait...How Good It Will Be: It honestly looks like a tepid version of the CBS series, but without any of that show’s subversive charm or quirks.How Long It Will Last: It looks pleasant enough to last through the season, but who wants to watch another eight years of Ted and Robin doing will-they-won’t they.Premiere: Thursdays at 9:30 this fall.
Bad JudgeWhat It Is: Single-camera sitcom.What It's About: Rebecca Wright (Kate Walsh) is a wild party girl who also happens to be L.A.'s toughest criminal judge.Who's In It: Kate Walsh, John Ducey, Tone Bell, Theodore Barnes.What's It Sound Like: A reality show titled Judge Judy: Off the Bench.How Good It Will Be: Judging by the trailer, it seems like the main character’s antics will grow stale after a while. “She’s a high ranking official, yet she’s wildly inappropriate” can only be barely amusing for so long.How Long It Will Last: This looks dead on arrival.Premiere: Thurdays at 9:00 this fall.
The Mysteries of LauraWhat It Is: Cop dramedy. What It's About: Laura Diamond (Debra Messing) is a gifted detective who must balance the excitement of police work with managing her twin boys and a flippant ex-husband.Who's In It: Debra Messing, Josh Lucas.What's It Sound Like: Brooklyn Nine-Nine, but with more family drama.How Good Will It Be: It’s hard to tell. The trailer is charming enough and is actually littered with a couple chuckles. How Long Will It Last: We can see this one going the distance.Premiere: Wednesdays at 8:00 this fall.
ConstantineWhat It Is: Supernatural drama.What It's About: Based on DC Comics’ classic series Hellblazer, demon hunter John Constantine travels the country to fight off the forces of hell while looking cool in a trench coat. Who's In It: Matt Ryan, Lucy Griffiths, Harrold Perrineau. What's It Sounds Like: Like Supernatural, with more Brits. How Good Will It Be: The trailer has some genuine creepy moments and looks like a far cry from the Keanu Reeves-centered, sun-drenched L.A. interperatation of the character from 2005’s Constantine. Matt Ryan is a dead ringer for the comic book version, down to the blond hair and british-accented quips. How Long Will It Last: This one has good chances. Even though it’s scheduled for Friday nights, which is usually the death nell for television, NBC’s other supernatural action series, Grimm has improbably managed to survive on the same night. Also, It’s connection to comics will certainly bring in viewers.Premiere: Fridays at 10:00 this fall.
State of AffairsWhat It Is: Drama. What It's About: CIA analyst Charleston Tucker (Katherine Heigl) must decide which international crises need to be brought to the attention of the president. She’s also on a mission to find the people responsible for the murder of her fiancé, who was the president’s son.Who's In It: Katherine Heigl, Alfre Woodard, Adam Kaufman. What's It Sound Like: Like Scandal meets Homeland. How Good It Will Be: It looks like a soapy, glossy network version of Homeland, which could be fun, but could also be terrible. How Long It Will Last: NBC found a surprise hit with The Blacklist, and this show looks pretty similar in story. If it can pick up on that show’s audience it will definitely make it through the season.Premiere: November 17 at 10:00.
Marry MeWhat Is It: Single-camera sitcom. What It's About: After six perfect years together, Annie and Jake are ready to get married, but the universe seems to have other plans for them. Who's In It: Ken Marino, Casey Wilson, Sarah Wright, John Gemberling. What's It Sound Like: It’s basically looks like Happy Endings, which makes sense since it’s also from that show’s creator, David Caspe. How Good Will It Be: The cast has some great comedy chops, and the trailer has some goofy laughs here and there. If this show is even half as good as Happy Endings in it’s prime, we’ll be satisfied.How Long Will It Last: NBC is in dire need of some new comedies so we’re betting this one sticks around for a while. Premiere: Tuesday at 9:00 this fall.
AllegianceWhat It Is: Spy drama. What It's About: Alex O’Connor is a young idealistic CIA analyst, but his life comes crashing down when he learns that his parents are deactivated KGB agents who have just been re-enlisted by the Kremlin to commit a terrorist attack against the U.S. Who's In It: Gavin Stenhouse, Scott Cohen, Hope Davis.What's It Sound Like: The Americans, but with fewer wigs and less '80s music. How Good It Will Be: It’ll be hard for this show to compete quality-wise with The Americans, which is probably the most underrated drama on television, since it is mining such similar territory. How Long It Will Last: You only have to look as far as NBC’s Hostages to see that dramas like this don’t tend to do well on the network. If the show is a critical success it good skate on its prestige like Hannibal, but we don’t see this as being terribly successful.Premiere: N/A
AquariusWhat It Is: Period police drama.What It's About: In 1967, L.A. police sergeant Sam Hodiak investigates a cult leader luring young women to his cause. Little does he know that that the guy he’s hunting turns out to be Charles Manson.Who's In It: David Duchovny. What's It Sound Like: Bates Motel, but replace Norman Bates with Charles Manson. How Good Will It Be: It looks like NBC is trying to mine the success (critical success at least) of Hannibal. If this show is even a tenth as good as that, it will be a home run.How Long Will It Last?: Knowing NBC and it’s audience, If this show does make it to the end of the season, it will be one of those shows that’s permanently on the bubble come renewal time.Premiere: N/A
Emerald CityWhat It Is: Fantasy drama.What It's About: A woman investigating the identity of her biological mother gets swept up into a tornado and transported to a twisted vision of magical world of Oz Who's In It: N/A What's It Sound Like: A dark and gritty version of The Wizard of Oz. How Good Will It Be: Judging from recent “Dark” versions of fairy tales (Hanzel and Gretal: Witch Hunters, Snow White and the Huntsman), we don’t have high hopes. How Long Will It Last: NBC’s recet genre offerings haven’t fared to well, but ABC’s Once Upon a Time shows that there’s certainly an audience for fantasy on network TV.Premiere: N/A
Mission ControlWhat Is It: Single-camera sitcom.What's It About: Dr. Mary Kendricks is a brilliant Aerospace engineer that must survive the boys club of Astronauts in the 1960s. Who's In It: Krysten Ritter, Tommy Dewey, Malcolm Barrett, Johnathan Slavin, Julie Meyer.What's It Sound Like: Mad Men meets Anchorman with some Better Off Ted sprinkled in. How Good Will It Be: Mad Men has found a great amount of drama exploring the old-timey misogyny of the 1960s. A series that can explore the same themes from a comedic lens could be really great.How Long Will It Last: It’s hard to tell. This sounds pretty ambitious from NBC. It doesn’t seem like the sort of thing that people will immediately click with, so Mission Control might not last.Premiere: N/A
Mr. RobinsonWhat It Is: Single-camera sitcom.What's It About: Down on his luck musician Craig Robinson (Craig Robinson... hey, wait a minute...) teaches music to pay the bills, but works harder to inspire his students once he finds out that they’re only taking his class for the easy A.Who's In It: Craig Robinson, Jean Smart.What's It Sound Like: An updated version of Welcome Back Kotter.How Good Will It Be: Craig Robinson is a huge talent, and we’ve been waiting for him to get the chance to carry his own show. Fingers crossed, everybody. How Long Will It Last: Hopefully, old fans of The Office can rally behind this show and help it secure at least a couple of seasons.Premiere: N/A
OdysseyWhat It Is: Multi-camera sitcom. What It's About: A soldier, a corporate lawyer, and a political activist uncover a military-industrial conspiracy involving al Qaeda, the U.S. military, and a U.S. corporation funding the terrorist cell.Who's In It: Anna Friel, Peter Facinelli, Jake Robinson, Jim True-Frost. What's It Sound Like: Traffic with a heaping teaspoon of Homeland.How Good Will It Be: It sounds like an ambitious, international undertaking from NBC. It sounds good, but then again it’s from a director of Grey’s Anatomy. We guess we’ll have to see.How Long Will It Last: Not too long. This doesn’t look like NBC’s usual offerings so it’s hard to think it will last.Premiere: N/A
One Big Happy What Is It: Single-camera sitcom.What's It About: Best friends, Lizzy and Luke decide to start an unorthodox family, but things get crowded when Luke meets and marries the woman of his dreams, Prudence, a british expat scheduled to leave the country. Who's In It: Nick Zano, Elisha Cuthbert, Kelly Brook.What's It Sound Like: A zanier version of Modern Family. How Good Will It Be: It sounds like fun, and Elisha Cuthbert was fantastic in Happy Endings.Premiere: N/A
Unbreakable Kimmy SchmidtWhat Is It: Single camera sitcom What’s It About: After 15 years of living in a cult, a woman decides to reinvent her life by moving to New York and taking on the city that never sleeps.Who's In It: Ellie Kemper, Tituss Burgess.What’s It Sound Like: Ugly Betty meets The Office.How Good Will It Be: Ellie Kemper is perpetually delightful, and the idea of a woman readjusting to modern life after living in a cult could lead to some absurd situations. How Long Will It Last: Like Mr. Robinson, fans of the office might give this show a boost at least initially. Were thinking this one will at least finish out it’s season.Premiere: N/A
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Maybe it’s because they premiered within six months of each other, because they each gave a starring series role to an on-the-rise voice of female comedy, or — most simply, and most plausibly — because of the similarities of their titles. But New Girl and Girls have earned, and will continue to earn, comparison. “I’m not a big fan of Girls,” someone will say, “but I do love New Girl!” And vice versa. In a lot of ways, the shows provide an antithesis of one another, and this has never been clearer than after this week’s release of episodes for the HBO and Fox programs.
By coincidence, the latest episode for each show took the form of a birthday story, with each celebrating a “coming-of-age” for its main character. But of course, as anyone familiar with the diametrically opposite comedies would predict, the stories could not have been more different. Observe, and decide once and for all which camp you fall in (or, you know, cherish the disparate treasures of both, but that’s less fun)…
NEW GIRL VS. GIRLS: THE BIRTHDAY EPISODE
Whose Birthday Was It? New Girl: The incurably peppy protagonist Jessica Day (Zooey Deschanel). Girls: The anxious, self-satisfied Hannah Horvath (Lena Dunham).
How Old Did She Turn? New Girl: 33. Girls: 25.
Was She Worried About Having a Bad Birthday?New Girl: Yes. Jess admitted at the beginning of the episode that she always expects too much from her birthdays.Girls: Yes. Hannah tells her boyfriend Adam (Adam Driver) that bad birthdays are "kind of her thing."
How Did She Spend the Day? New Girl: By cooking an omelet, having sex, going to a drug store, walking around a park, crying on her couch, and going to the movies (where she was met by a surprise party). Girls: By welcoming her boyfriend’s lunatic sister (Gaby Hoffmann) into her home and then attending a bar party.
Where Was the Ultimate Celebration Held? New Girl: A local Chicago movie theater. Girls: Matchless, a real bar in Greenpoint, Brooklyn.
HBO
Who Organized the Party? New Girl: Jess’ loving but perpetually harried boyfriend Nick (Jake Johnson). Girls: Hannah’s emotionally destitute best friend Marnie (Allison Williams), funded by the Horvath parents (Becky Ann Baker and Peter Scolari).
What Is the Most Telling Representation of This Person’s Feelings About the Birthday Girl? New Girl: Nick loses his mind trying to make Jess happy, rallying everyone together to create a loving video tribute to his ladyfriend — an act that she deems the nicest thing anyone has ever done for her. Girls: Marnie passive-aggressively insults Hannah’s appearance, then forces her to sing a humiliating duet from Rent as a means of accessing her own long-gone glory days.
How Does the Birthday Girl React to Her Guests? New Girl: Jess is thrilled to see that Cece (Hannah Simone), Schmidt (Max Greenfield), Winston (Lamorne Morris), Coach (Damon Wayans Jr.), and others have all taken the time to show her their affections. Girls: Hannah offers disinterested greetings to just about everybody before retreating into a back room with Marnie, Jessa (Jemima Kirke), and Shoshanna (Zosia Mamet).
What About Her Parents? New Girl: Although they can’t be there, Jess’ mom (Jamie Lee Curtis) and dad (Rob Reiner) showcase their boundless love for their daughter in video form. Girls: Hannah’s mom and dad travel to Brooklyn to pay for their daughter’s party, and dance embarrassingly… okay, so this one isn’t too negative! Although Hannah’s dad does (unwittingly) kiss Adam’s sister.
Are There Any Stories of Post-Breakup Heartbreak Going on in the Sidelines? New Girl: Yes! Schmidt and Cece. Girls: Yes! Shoshanna and Ray (Alex Karpovsky).
How Does That Go? New Girl: After months of distance between them, Schmidt and Cece finally make headway in restoring their friendship when he helps her make an Old Fashioned. Girls: Ray wallows in his misery, tells Shoshanna that he doesn’t want to be friends with her, chastises her (passive-aggressively, of course) for smoking, and then gets into a fight with Hannah’s manic editor (John Cameron Mitchell)
Are There Any Cantankerous Bar Employees? New Girl: Sure! The goofy, hilarious Ben Falcone plays a bartender who hates Cece. Girls: Yep! A Matchless DJ fights with Ray after he sullenly accosts her for turning off his song (“Today” by the Smashing Pumpkins).
Does the Birthday Girl Have a Moment with Her Boyfriend at the End of the Episode? New Girl: Of course. Jess thanks Nick for giving her the sweetest birthday present she might ever have asked for, and they express their love for one another. Girls: Of course. After Adam’s nutty sister crushes a glass in her hand, he and Hannah sit on their shared bed solemnly.
What Note Does the Episode End On? New Girl: Heartwarming. Girls: Chilling. Unsettling. Bizarre.
Oh, Does Anyone Walk Away from an Exploding Car? New Girl: Yes, Schmidt. Girls: No, sadly.
Happy birthday, New Girl! And happy nihilism, Girls.
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Summit via Everett Collection
You can imagine that Renny Harlin, director and one quadrant of the writing team for The Legend of Hercules, began his pitch as such: We'll start with a war, because lots of these things start with wars. It feels like this was the principal maxim behind a good deal of the creative choices in this latest update of the Ancient Greek myth. There are always horse riding scenes. There are generally arena battles. There are CGI lions, when you can afford 'em. Oh, and you've got to have a romantic couple canoodling at the base of a waterfall. Weaving them all together cohesively would be a waste of time — just let the common threads take form in a remarkably shouldered Kellan Lutz and action sequences that transubstantiate abjectly to and fro slow-motion.
But pervading through Lutz's shirtless smirks and accent continuity that calls envy from Johnny Depp's Alice in Wonderland performance is the obtrusive lack of thought that went into this picture. A proverbial grab bag of "the basics" of the classic epic genre, The Legend of Hercules boasts familiarity over originality. So much so that the filmmakers didn't stop at Hercules mythology... they barely started with it, in fact. There's more Jesus Christ in the character than there is the Ancient Greek demigod, with no lack of Gladiator to keep things moreover relevant. But even more outrageous than the void of imagination in the construct of Hercules' world is its script — a piece so comically dim, thin, and idiotic that you will laugh. So we can't exactly say this is a totally joyless time at the movies.
Summit via Everett Collection
Surrounding Hercules, a character whose arc takes him from being a nice enough strong dude to a nice enough strong dude who kills people and finally owns up to his fate — "Okay, fine, yes, I guess I'm a god" — are a legion of characters whose makeup and motivations are instituted in their opening scenes and never change thereafter. His de facto stepdad, the teeth-baring King Amphitryon (Scott Adkins), despises the boy for being a living tribute to his supernatural cuckolding; his half-brother Iphicles (Liam Garrigan) is the archetypical scheming, neutered, jealous brother figure right down to the facial scar. The dialogue this family of mongoloids tosses around is stunningly brainless, ditto their character beats. Hercules can't understand how a mystical stranger knows his identity, even though he just moments ago exited a packed coliseum chanting his name. Iphicles defies villainy and menace when he threatens his betrothed Hebe (Gaia Weiss), long in love with Hercules, with the terrible fate of "accepting [him] and loving [their] children equally!" And the dad... jeez, that guy must really be proud of his teeth.
With no artistic feat successfully accomplished (or even braved, really) by this movie, we can at the very least call it inoffensive. There is nothing in The Legend of Hercules with which to take issue beyond its dismal intellect, and in a genre especially prone to regressive activity, this is a noteworthy triumph. But you might not have enough energy by the end to award The Legend of Hercules with this superlative. Either because you'll have laughed yourself into a coma at the film's idiocy, or because you'll have lost all strength trying to fend it off.
1/5
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Lions Gate via Everett Collection
When we last left our heroes, they had conquered all opponents in the 74th Annual Hunger Games, returned home to their newly refurbished living quarters in District 12, and fallen haplessly to the cannibalism of PTSD. And now we're back! Hitching our wagons once again to laconic Katniss Everdeen and her sweet-natured, just-for-the-camera boyfriend Peeta Mellark as they gear up for a second go at the Capitol's killing fields.
But hold your horses — there's a good hour and a half before we step back into the arena. However, the time spent with Katniss and Peeta before the announcement that they'll be competing again for the ceremonial Quarter Quell does not drag. In fact, it's got some of the film franchise's most interesting commentary about celebrity, reality television, and the media so far, well outweighing the merit of The Hunger Games' satire on the subject matter by having Katniss struggle with her responsibilities as Panem's idol. Does she abide by the command of status quo, delighting in the public's applause for her and keeping them complacently saturated with her smiles and curtsies? Or does Katniss hold three fingers high in opposition to the machine into which she has been thrown? It's a quarrel that the real Jennifer Lawrence would handle with a castigation of the media and a joke about sandwiches, or something... but her stakes are, admittedly, much lower. Harvey Weinstein isn't threatening to kill her secret boyfriend.
Through this chapter, Katniss also grapples with a more personal warfare: her devotion to Gale (despite her inability to commit to the idea of love) and her family, her complicated, moralistic affection for Peeta, her remorse over losing Rue, and her agonizing desire to flee the eye of the public and the Capitol. Oftentimes, Katniss' depression and guilty conscience transcends the bounds of sappy. Her soap opera scenes with a soot-covered Gale really push the limits, saved if only by the undeniable grace and charisma of star Lawrence at every step along the way of this film. So it's sappy, but never too sappy.
In fact, Catching Fire is a masterpiece of pushing limits as far as they'll extend before the point of diminishing returns. Director Francis Lawrence maintains an ambiance that lends to emotional investment but never imposes too much realism as to drip into territories of grit. All of Catching Fire lives in a dreamlike state, a stark contrast to Hunger Games' guttural, grimacing quality that robbed it of the life force Suzanne Collins pumped into her first novel.
Once we get to the thunderdome, our engines are effectively revved for the "fun part." Katniss, Peeta, and their array of allies and enemies traverse a nightmare course that seems perfectly suited for a videogame spin-off. At this point, we've spent just enough time with the secondary characters to grow a bit fond of them — deliberately obnoxious Finnick, jarringly provocative Johanna, offbeat geeks Beedee and Wiress — but not quite enough to dissolve the mystery surrounding any of them or their true intentions (which become more and more enigmatic as the film progresses). We only need adhere to Katniss and Peeta once tossed in the pit of doom that is the 75th Hunger Games arena, but finding real characters in the other tributes makes for a far more fun round of extreme manhunt.
But Catching Fire doesn't vie for anything particularly grand. It entertains and engages, having fun with and anchoring weight to its characters and circumstances, but stays within the expected confines of what a Hunger Games movie can be. It's a good one, but without shooting for succinctly interesting or surprising work with Katniss and her relationships or taking a stab at anything but the obvious in terms of sending up the militant tyrannical autocracy, it never even closes in on the possibility of being a great one.
3.5/5
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The proof that Girls is a great show is in the details. While Lena Dunham's Golden Globe-winning series touches a nerve with the fans that love it because it unabashedly explores the universale topics of sex, relationships, class, money, et al. (In the words of Marnie, "Et al?!") But you know when a show is also paying attention to the minor, but important details that it's really working. Sunday's episode, "I Get Ideas," dealt with a lot of big things (including one of the show's biggest critical roadblocks, race) but it was the little things that really went for laughs and put us in touch with the characters.
When Hannah, dressed as a "sad, limp little glow worm," and Elijah (the hilarious Andrew Rannells) are watching Adam's love serenade in horror on her laptop, it's all about the details. Elijah notices Adam's unsettling tool collection in the background, Elijah's eye roll when Hannah is upset at the idea that Adam wouldn't murder her because he didn't love her enough, and Hannah's email icon, which reveals that she has thousands of unread messages. Her pondering whether Adam is "murdery in a murder way" or whether she was supposed to be flattered by his song (sample lyric: "Standing outside your window/Not making a sound") may say a lot about her, but those unread emails really say it all.
Since Girls is a show that meticulously weaves the big things with the little things, let's look at how they handled them in the second episode of Season 2.
Big Issue: Race: Like any show that features an all-white cast living in a sprawling urban area (Friends, Seinfeld) the hyper-scrutinized Girls was bound to be asked the question: "Where are the people of color?" But, unlike Friends and Seinfeld, Girls, answered the question much faster. During the premiere we were introduced to Sandy (played by Community star Donald Glover), the African-American guy Hannah has started dating. We didn't learn much about him, except for the fact that he seemed okay with showing affection in public and that Hannah really enjoyed having sex with him. Last night we learned that he has some big deal breaker traits including that, despite having non-Republican parents, Sandy is a staunch Republican and he doesn't like Hannah's writing. But it wasn't Hannah's inability to take criticism about her work or being a staunch liberal that finally made Sandy kick Hannah to the curb. During their courtship-ending fight, Hannah not only claims she doesn't notice their different races ("That's insane, because you should," Sandy fires back) but she brings up his race and the fact that he's a conservative when she inadvertently quotes Missy Elliot and drops a statistic about African-American men on death row. (Hannah and Schmidt from New Girl couldn't be more different, except for when it comes to knowing how to have interactions with anyone of race.) Sandy then says what anyone horrified by what Hannah was arguing: "Thank you for updating me on minorities!" That said, Hannah wasn't the only one to tap racial insensitivity. Sandy marginalizes Hannah to any caucasian girl in Brooklyn who "got a fixed gear bike and date[s] a black guy." This couple never would have worked for a bevy reasons, including Hannah still interacting with Adam despite claiming she wants "the kind, sexy, responsible boyfriend that I've always wanted, but never had", but ultimately it came down to race. The fact that Hannah couldn't broach the topic in a smart or sensitive way proved that she, and the show, have a long way to go when it comes to knowing how to deal with race.
Little Issue: Little Dogs: We didn't see much of Jessa last week, but now we see she's living it up in a soulless Brooklyn high-rise in post-honeymoon "bliss" with the hilariously douchey Thomas John (Chris O' Dowd). They both got matching tiger tattoos, she has him pose for paintings, he takes off for meetings he may or may not be late for (I'm venturing to guess the latter), and can't be bothered to learn his wife's friends names (he calls Hannah, who showed up to their apartment in shorteralls,"Danna" not once, but twice.) So what exactly could be so wrong about any of that? Well, everything is wrong about their impulsive nuptials, but perhaps none more so than the adorable bandaid on their gaping wound of a doomed relationship: Thomas John surprises her with three very cute puppies. I can't think of anyone less equipped to take care of living things than Jessa and it says everything about her when she urges her friend Hannah to "read a newspaper" and tells her to "look around...life is not gonna get any better than this for you" but then names her dogs Garbage, F**ker, and Hanukkah. (Full discloser: I kinda love all of those names.) Jessa is a smart, capable, and talented person, but here she is lying that she's at her happiest and calls Democrats and Republicans "dirtbags", yet names her pooches Garbage and F**ker. The episode doesn't fully explore the mixed-up psyche of Jessa, but it does show how naming little dogs can say a whole lot about a person.
Big Issue: Unemployment: Marnie was the only one of the entire gang with not only gainful employment, but a job in the career they were pursuing, so talk about a shock to the system when she was laid off. After going on a nightmarish interview with an art gallery owner, Marnie found herself not only jobless, but even more lost than before. What do you do after your dreams start to get away from your and the New York City career you were going after slips away from you? That's right, you get a job. Any job to pay the bills. You hear that, Hannah? No judgment about hostess gigs that may or may not cash in on sexuality. Marnie may not like having to dress up like, as Elijah puts it, "a slutty Von Trapp child" for a waitressing gig at a cigar-chomping men's club, but it's an income until she can get back on track. Maybe Marnie is better than that job, but at least she can see past what Hannah never can: when you need one, a job is a job.
Little Issue: Obnoxious Sweet Talk: Is there anything more irritating than a couple in their honeymoon phase? Where everything they say and do is magical and everyone outside of their bubble doesn't understand a love quite like this. I still don't quite get the Shoshanna and Ray connection and their reunion, but the show sure does get what it's like when couples are first together. Case in point, they say to each other all glossy-eyed and blissful, with no irony whatsoever, "You'd be really good at bathing a pig."
Big Issue: Age: It's of absolutely no surprise that George opted to split from Elijah after he cheated on him with Marnie. George may not completely have his shit together, but he's been around long enough to know that bi or not (let's face it, not) Elijah is 25. A 25-year-old doesn't keep secrets from their best friend (Hannah has no idea Elijah and Marnie had a "three pump" hookup), a 25-year-old doesn't know what they want from themselves, let alone anyone else, and a 25-year-old certainly doesn't have a Hotmail account anymore. Like their stance on interracial relationships, Girls doesn't quite know what to do with May-December relationships, but maybe they'll get there someday.
Big/Little Issue: Adam: Look, don't get me wrong, stalking is a very real and very serious issue. But when Hannah keeps allowing in both physically and metaphorically, it's hard to see him as a real threat. You can't call 911 on someone and fix them a glass of milk at the same time and you can't scream at them to go away and then give them call them back with a loving glance as they start to leave. It doesn't work that way. That said, Adam is a totally heartsick nutter butter who is creeping around Hannah's apartment and letting himself in when he so pleases ("space rape," as she puts it), so a restraining order wouldn't be the worst idea. The problem isn't necessarily Adam though, so much as Hannah's reluctance to make a real decision about what to do with him. While it would be in both of their best interests to split for good, they are a pair of 25-year-olds, of course they are going to continue to make bad decisions with each other. Even though Adam gets arrested (the cops show up after Hannah's quasi-911 call and it's discovered he has outstanding unpaid tickets) I sincerely doubt this is the last we'll see of him. Hannah still has the big issue of her relationship and her own self-worth to consider, after all.
[Photo credit: HBO]
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On the screen (big or small), the airwaves, and in the bookstore, we were captivated by new talent in 2012. From fresh faces with fresh voices, like Lena Dunham and Rebel Wilson, to veterans who were really given the chance to shine this year, like Channing Tatum and Jonathan Banks, here are the 20 stars that grabbed hold of our attention in 2012 — and we hope won't let go any time soon.
TV's Breakout Stars
Lena Dunham
She may be a polarizing figure, but even naysayers can’t deny that this was the year of Lena Dunham. The writer/director/producer/author/actress barreled right into the upper echelon of entertainers with her stripped down, brutally honest HBO series Girls and rolled right into a $3.6 million dollar book deal. And all this at the age of 26. As her Girls character Hannah Horvath mumbles while high on opium tea: Dunham’s not necessarily the voice of her generation, but she’s certainly a voice of a generation. Plus, Louis C.K. agrees that what she’s doing is “important,” and he’s pretty tough to argue with.
Max Greenfield
In just one season, Max Greenfield's wonderfully douchey character Schmidt joined the ranks of classic singularly named sitcom sidekicks like Kramer and Fez. Greenfield's nuanced performance as the (actually quite insecure deep down inside) Schmidt helped make New Girl into one of the best comedies on television, and forever changed the way we said "chutney."
Mindy Kaling
After years of toiling away behind a desk on The Office, Mindy Kaling is finally front and center in her Fox comedy The Mindy Project. Don't let the crappy name fool you, the comedy about a ditzy doctor looking for love in a crazy office is more original and off-kilter than it would suggest.
Jessica Paré
It would be impossible to sing the praises of the brilliant Season 5 of Mad Men without singing the praises of the sexy, talented woman who sang 2012's most unexpected viral sensation: "Zou Bisou Bisou." Whether you loved or hated Paré's Megan, her impact on the show this season was undeniable.
Chris Messina
Every girl needs a guy to drool over, right? For Mindy Kaling, it's the somewhat jerky macho man played by Chris Messina on The Mindy Project. With character turns in Argo, Celeste and Jesse Forever, and recurring spots on Damages and (ugh) The Newsroom, this dreamboat hasn't had any time to rest.
Damian Lewis
As war hero turned terrorist turned (maybe?) CIA ally Sergeant Nicolas Brody on Showtime's acclaimed series Homeland, Damian Lewis kept us on the edge of our seats Sunday after Sunday. Despite Claire Danes' quivering chin's attempt to steal every scene, Lewis' Brody acted as the show's emotional heart. In 2012, Lewis took home the Best Actor in a Drama Series Emmy he so deserved.
Jonathan Banks
When an actor has been in the game as long as Jonathan Banks has, making a career on dozens of supporting and guest roles, it’d take a superhuman performance to launch him to the forefront of the pop culture conversation. After two years as Breaking Bad’s no-nonsense backup player Mike Ehrmantraut, Banks earned colossal notoriety with his turn in the AMC series’ fifth season. Mike, always a well liked character, became the show’s central pull when Banks instilled in him the strength, frustration, and pain that award-caliber performances are made of. His rise and fall as a prominent player in the business dealings of Walter White and Jesse Pinkman and in his own relationship with his beloved granddaughter exhibited everything the crime drama mainstay Banks had at his disposal, about which we might never have known. Thankfully, Breaking Bad creator Vince Gilligan gave this once nameless character the spotlight this year, placing in Banks' capable hands the show’s pulsing humanity.
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Quvenzhane Wallis
It always sparks chatter when a newcomer to the acting game gives a breathtaking performance — but Quvenzhane Wallis is the extreme. A five-year-old first-time actor at the time of her role in the magnificent tearjerker Beasts of the Southern Wild, Wallis doesn’t just take your breath away, she lays claim to your entire respiratory system. No performance in all of 2012 was bigger than young Wallis’. Despise her age, she managed to not only to keep up with director Benh Zeitlin’s Earth-shattering parable for the tragedies of Hurricane Katrina, but she launched the story to otherworldly levels of emotional resonance. Wallis’ role in the feature has attracted her to great auteur Steven McQueen, which means that she’ll be enjoying a long, steady career of quality projects as long as she might wish to.
Ezra Miller
Considering readers’ devotion to Stephen Chbosky’s classic, life-affirming novel The Perks of Being a Wallflower, the celebration of the book’s big screen adaptation is all the more impressive. One of the most important elements in the construction of such a perfect adaptation is the casting, one of the many areas in which writer/director Chbosky triumphed: Logan Lerman was a terrific Charlie and Emma Watson a stellar Sam. But standing out among them was Ezra Miller, who brought so much life and humor, so much pain and turmoil into the character of Patrick that you’ll forget you ever imagined him in another light. Earlier in the year, Miller dazzled and horrified as the tormented teenage star of We Need to Talk About Kevin, inspiring shivers and tears with his incarnation of the dark, disturbed main character driven to horrible violence. As such, we can call Miller’s range boundless.
Rebel Wilson
It’s no small feat to steal the spotlight from comedy bigwigs like Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph, especially when you only have a few short lines in the entire movie – but that’s exactly what Rebel Wilson did in Bridesmaids. This hilarious Aussie comedian became a household name after that, going on to star in another raunchy wedding-themed film Bachelorette, and becoming the first person cast in the collegiate a capella comedy Pitch Perfect.
Dane DeHaan
DeHaan looks like a young Leonardo DiCaprio — meaning he would have been fine taking easy parts that capitalized on his good looks. Luckily, in 2012 the actor did so much more than that, parlaying his time on In Treatment into a string of roles in risky works like Chronicle, Lawless, and Lincoln. 2013 is also looking bright, with The Place Beyond the Pines, a sprawling family drama that debuted to raves at this year's Toronto Film Festival, arriving in the Spring, and Sundance 2013 premiere Kill Your Darlings, which DeHaan costars in alongside Daniel Radcliffe. Oh, and he just landed a juicy part in The Amazing Spider-Man 2, in case all that heavy material was starting to scare you.
Channing Tatum
“An hour [to sum up] the year? Am I supposed to just scratch the surface of Channing Tatum's meteoric rise?" We feel your pain, Liz Lemon. There's no way this entry would do justice to the year Tatum had, what with his People's Sexiest Man Alive title and eclectic, surprising performances on the big screen (Magic Mike, 21 Jump Street, The Vow). It's his world now, we're all just just happily living in it.
Scoot McNairy
After his impressive turn in the 2010 sci-fi indie film Monsters, it was only a matter of time before Hollywood picked up on McNairy and wrangled him for bigger features. Going quiet for more than a year, McNairy dominated the Fall award season with eclectic roles in Argo, Killing Them Softly, and Promised Land. The actor held his own against big names like Ben Affleck and Brad Pitt, a nearly impossible task made easy by McNairy's ability to slip into any shoes, from criminal junkie to farmhand to Iranian embassy worker.
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Ryan Lochte
Though he may now be the world’s most famous “Sex Idiot” per 30 Rock, Ryan Lochte broke out in 2012 thanks to his skills in the pool. At least initially. After winning five medals in London during the Summer Olympics, Lochte’s fame grew thanks to his go-to exclamation ("Jeah!"), his economy of words (“I like swimming because racing”), and of course, that grill. Oh, and he’s pretty hot too.
Phillip Phillips
Despite his extensive health problems (which plagued him through his run on American Idol), Phillips has managed to carve out a nice little fan base with his ubiquitous hit “Home.” After winning the Fox singing competition, Phillips recorded his first and only Mumford and Sons-ish single, sending it straight to NBC as the theme of this year’s Summer Olympics in London. Now, the familiar trotting and cooing of Phillips’ musical equivalent of comfort food can be heard just about everywhere. If only that album of his would come our way a little faster!
Ed Sheeran
If you turned on the radio at some point this year, you know who Ed Sheeran is. This English singer-songwriter is best known for his hit, “The A Team,” and for co-writing “Little Things,” “Over Again,” and “Moments” for super group boy band One Direction. He also played at the Olympics' closing ceremony and co-wrote (and is heard on) Taylor Swift’s track “Everything Has Changed.”
Frank Ocean
This year, Ocean broke out of his role as a ghost writer for big acts like Justin Bieber and John Legend and released one of the most beloved albums of 2012, Channel Orange, which features singles like “Pyramids” and “Sweet Life” characterized by subdued rhythms, experimental elements, and haunting melodies that music-lovers quickly embraced. But it wasn’t simply his talent and flair for innovation that shined in 2012, it was his bravery. Ocean became one of the first openly gay hip-hop artists in mainstream music, and was quickly embraced for his openness in a world often characterized as homophobic.
Jess Walter
With six novels and a prestigious journalism career under his belt, Jess Walter is in no way a newcomer. However, his extraordinary novel Beautiful Ruins not only snagged a spot on the New York Times's 100 Notable Books of 2012, but also made him a household name. Walter's sweeping tale of love, which spans five decades and takes us from the Italian countryside in the 1960s to Hollywood pitch meetings in the present day, is the kind of story that stays with you. Walter is similarly a talent who is sure to weather the ages.
Gillian Flynn
Gillian Flynn's first two novels (Sharp Objects and Dark Places) earned critical acclaim and book awards buzz, but no book made more of a splash this year than Flynn's tightly written thriller Gone Girl. The eye-catching black and neon cover was a subway staple, and book clubs all over the country discussed the novel's big twist at length. Now, Flynn is in talks to adapt her suspenseful tale of betrayal and murder to the big screen, ensuring we'll see much more of her, as well as her unforgettable characters, Nick and Amy, in the years to come.
E. L. James
After the year she's had, E. L. James hardly needs an introduction. In 2012, James transformed from a British housewife writing Twilight fan fiction in her spare time to the year's best-selling author (for her erotic Fifty Shades trilogy). She was named one of Time's 100 Most Influential People in the World, and one of Barbara Walters' 10 Most Fascinating People. Not too shabby.
[Photo Credit: WENN (2); INF Photo]
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Earlier this year, before the heat of election season took hold, American television audiences decided to put their political apathy aside, and welcome with open arms the HBO TV movie Game Change. Based on the book by writers Mark Halperin and John Heilemann, directed by established filmmaker Jay Roach, and starring —in an unforgettable Emmy-winning turn — Julianne Moore, the account of 2008 Vice Presidential Candidate Sarah Palin's ascension from obscurity to infamy was adored by critics and viewers alike, garnering some huge ratings for the premium cable network. As such, political authors Halperin and Heilemann are encouraged to take on a new project chronicling the 2012 Presidential Election: Hollywood.com has confirmed that the pair is writing a book on the subject titled Double Down: Game Change 2012, and that HBO has already optioned the developing book to transform into another television movie. Hollywood.com has reached out to HBO for confirmation.
Considering the celebration enjoyed by Moore and her costars Ed Harris (as Presidential Candidate John McCain) and Woody Harrelson (as political strategist Steve Schmidt), the new Double Down movie could well be an attractive endeavor for any number of big name actors looking to assign themselves some political gravitas. But who is the right fit for a film like this? And what figures of this year's election warrant screen time?
Mull over these rhetorical questions no further, we've come up with a few possible casting choices for the developing film. May we present:
As Barack Obama...
Will Smith!
It's not exactly the most imaginative casting (as we've heard past talk of Smith eventually taking the presidential role), but when you happen upon a piece of casting like this, you don't shy away from it.As Mitt Romney...
Bruce Campbell!
This one's a bit stranger, which is what makes it all the more exciting. The Evil Dead maestro turning his talents loose as the Republican Party's 2012 candidate, inadvertently spouting binders full of memes and anti-Muppet agenda.As Joe Biden...
Warren Beatty!
Sure, he hasn't done a movie in over 10 years. But that's exactly how long it took ol' Joe Biden to carve out the canyons, slay the mountaintop dragon, and bring peace to the kingdoms three. At least that's what this folk song has made me understand.As Paul Ryan...
Steve Carell!
As is the case with all political dramas, a B-story involving a VP hopeful's wacky behind-the-scenes high jinks is in order. Plus, a 45-minute scene in which Carell puts on a one-man show based off Atlas Shrugged. That's just good cinema.As Newt Gingrich...
Hal Holbrook!
Okay, yes, Holbrook might be a smidgen too old for the role of Gingrich, but you've got to take into account that people age faster on the moon. Which, in honor of the presidential hopeful's otherworldly endeavors, is where the film's post-credits epilogue will take place.As Michele Bachman...
Lorraine Bracco!
We just really like Lorraine Bracco. The Sopranos. Bada bing! Right?As Herman Cain...
Djimon Honsou!
Honsou will have to go full-on bananas for the mysterious, so-strange-he-must-be-faking-it 2012 presidential hopeful, fostering harassment accusations and quoting Pokémon at every turn. Of course, Cain's inclusion will also warrant an appearance by Rachel Maddow (we're thinking Lizzy Caplan) as the hard-nosed investigator who eventually cracks the Cain mystery.Of course, there are many other prominent figures who contributed to the lunacy of the 2012 Presidential Election. Can you think up any other good political figure/actor pairings to make Double Down the perfect piece of small screen film?
[Photo Credits: Wenn(11); Getty Images(2); AP]
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Sorry, everyone, but Tuesday night the only thing you will be allowed to watch on television is the results of the presidential election as they slowly roll in from across this great nation of ours. Yes, that means field reporting, concession speeches, red and blue states on a big old poster behind the anchor desk, and pundits turning red in their faces when the races don't go their way.
Even if you can't tell the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney and a donkey and an elephant fighting over pizza and burritos, you're going to have to watch something. But what? Here are all your major choices, broken down by what to expect and what is the best for you. If you're going to be stuck with journalists, you might as well find some that you like.
ABC
Talent: Diane Sawyer, George (copy, paste) Stephanopoulos, Barbara Walters, and Katie Couric
Pros: Sawyer and Stephanopoulos have both actually worked in the White House, so that is some real K Street cred right there. With Walters and Kouric they'll have a nice balance of hard and soft news. Also, they have a lot of female reporters. It's almost as if they had a binder, and it was full of women, and that's who they put on the show.
Cons: Walters and Kouric have devolved into daytime chatterers. They might not be able to deliver the gravitas an occasion like this merits. And seriously, can't we just put Barbara Walters on Social Security already and make her give up a place at the anchor desk? Oh, wait, not if Mitt Romney wins and there is no more Social Security. Never mind.
Watch This If...: You think The View is hard-hitting journalism.
CBS
Talent: Scott Pelley, Bob Schieffer, Norah O'Donnell, John Dickerson
Pros: Bob Schieffer moderated one of the debates, so he might have some insights. The network will be using virtual reality models to display the election results. I don't know what that means, but "virtual reality" always sounds like the future.
Cons: What is a Scott Pelley? Who are these people?
Watch This If...: You are old and can't find NCIS.
NBC
Talent: Brian Williams, Tom Brokaw, David Gregory, Savannah Guthrie, Andrea Mitchell, Tamron Hall
Pros: Everyone will be reporting from a place called Democracy Plaza, which sounds like what the inside of a voting booth should be like. Either that or a politics-themed restaurant in Times Square. There will be a lot of really deep voices, so your dog won't be able to hear a thing. It's also the only major network to bring back a returning anchor, so thanks, Brokaw. Oh, and have you seen Brian Williams on 30 Rock? He brings the funny.
Cons: Tamron Hall will be reporting from the Rockefeller Center Ice Rink. We are already embarrassed for her. Also, no one likes Savannah Guthrie (especially Ann Curry).
Watch This If...: You want to be like the cast of Girls.
Fox News
Talent: Bill O'Reilly, Greta Van Susteren, Brit Hume, Chris Wallace, Sarah Palin, Karl Rove
Pros: If Mitt Romney loses, they'll freak out so bad it will look like a million nervous breakdowns at once.They're the only ones to have a former candidate in the newsroom.
Cons: That candidate is Sarah Palin. Also, Karl Rove, a lugey of human phlegm that came to life, will share his evil ways. That could be insightful but is also like making out with Emperor Palpatine. And, just like MSNBC, this broadcast has a political bias. Unlike MSNBC, they're not bothered by those little things called facts.
Watch This If...: You hate truth, liberty, and the American way.
CNN
Talent: Wolf Blitzer, Anderson Cooper, Candy Crowley, Erin Burnett, Paul Begala, James Carville, Alex Castellanos, Ari Fleischer, Margaret Hoover, Van Jones, Roland Martin and Ana Navarro. Is there anyone they didn't hire?
Pros: Since it's a news network, you can watch it all darn day so you can get all the sweet political news you need to stay alive. Also, it tries to be fair and balanced, which is nice. You never know when Cooper is going to lapse into a fit of the giggles and Begala and Carville are the funniest talking heads in all of punditville.
Cons: Who wants their news balanced? Tell me what to think, news! I'm stupid and need some opinions. Also, remember last election when Wolf Blitzer talked to a hologram. Yeah, that's gone. I already miss it.
Watch This If...: Like Anderson, you'd rather be watching Real Housewives.
MSNBC
Talent: Rachel Maddow, Chris Matthews, Rev. Al Sharpton, Lawrence O'Donnell, Ed Schultz, Steve Schmidt
Pros: If there was ever a pro, it's Rev. Al Sharpton. If Obama wins, he'll go crazy. If Romney wins, he'll go double crazy. Stay tuned! Also, Matthews will yell and Maddow will say lots of smart and vaguely mean things that are totally right.
Cons: There doesn't seem to be any virtual reality, holograms, reincarnated robots of William Taft, or anything. Where are the bells and whistles?
Watch This If...: You wear glasses.
CSPAN
Talent: None
Pros: Well, it's unfiltered, unbiased coverage of the democratic process.
Cons: That sounds more dry and boring than a dump truck full of Shredded Wheat.
Watch This If...: You hate fun.
Comedy Central
Talent: Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert
Pros: Screw taping, these guys are going live! That means the funny is going to be fast, furious, and possibly NSFW (damn those seven-second delays). Also, Colbert's half hour is called Election 2012: A Nation Votes, Ohio Decides; The Re-Presidenting of America: Who Will Replace Obama? ‘012!. Yup, I'd watch that. Oh, and he'll have Andrew Sullivan too.
Cons: Their coverage starts at 11 PM, so you have nothing to watch until then. But, then again, if you have a life outside of watching boring political reporting on TV, then that is actually a pro. They each only get 30 minutes. Boo!
Watch This If...: You think The Onion is real.
Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan
[Photo Credit: Getty Images (2), Comedy Central]
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