I was sitting in the bar, a little miserable and bored, idly flicking peanuts at the bartender, when the door burst open and a man, breathing heavily, soaked and tousled from the storm outside took the seat beside me, ordered a rather inappropriate amount of whiskey and began to weep, snort, and otherwise express disbelief in some event that had - assumedly - just occurred. Thinking his mother must have died, and, wishing to do him some kindness, I asked "Rough night?" with what I … [Read more...]

Never trust the philosophy of a man with amustache wider than his face.The submissions flew in witty and quick after I left you to respond to the Nietzsche quote: "After coming into contact with a religious man I always feel I must wash my hands." They were all brilliant, but I narrowed it down to a few of my my favorites. Thus, I present to you an Exuberant and Witty Dance Upon the Grave of the Ubermensch:"After coming into contact with an atheist man, I always feel I must … [Read more...]

It was Mr. Hitchens who recently wrote that the greatest weapon of the atheist was the "ironic mind" against the literal, and I, after briefly and in passing asking myself "what the hell is the man talking about?" and stubbornly continuing the practice of what he would later term as the "cult of death and human sacrifice", have decided that I agree, but for all sorts of reasons Mr. Hitchens would be annoyed with.Not to isolate all you science majors out there - I trust that whatever it is … [Read more...]

"By the way, the King James Bible is the only reliable English Bible that hasn't been corrupted by Satan." - some fundamentalist dudeI was driving down an awfully boring strip of road, or up it, I suppose, depending on whether you are happily waiting me approach the capital of the south, Richmond, or despondently watching me recede into the distance from Ruckersville, the capital of incredibly large portions of meat at Jinya's infamous Pig n' Steak. In one shape or form, I was moving, … [Read more...]

...in which I say all I wanted to say in Loneliness Sucks.I have very little tolerance for idolatry. I would have smashed the desert's porcelain gods along with Muhammad and torn down the golden calf with Moses. I took down my Jimi Hendrix poster because it was in line with my crucifix, and the whole line-of-vision situation was getting awkward. I make sure to not get too excited about coffee, for fear of undue praise to the inanimate, but despite such awe-inspiring intolerance, I can f … [Read more...]

There is nothing, for instance, particularly undemocratic about kicking your butler downstairs. It may be wrong, but it is not unfraternal. - G.K ChestertonThere are two ways of being by yourself. One is to be alone - a fantastic and human desire - and the other is to be lonely. If you want to be alone, the answer is simple - find solitude, and impose upon thyself hermitage, for however brief a time. If, however, the weather is too beautiful, joy begins to bore, Holden Caulfield seems … [Read more...]

in which I take a slight detour from How To Be Human...What Matt touches upon is what was being gently revealed to me, last night, as I watched The Passion of the Christ: Our God loves gardens. There's a part in that unapologetically awesome movie I used to think was a mere overuse of artistic license; when Satan sends a snake from under his robes to the Christ laying prostrate in prayer in the dark blue of Gethsemane. But last night, feeling particularly slow for not … [Read more...]

...in which I say all that I wanted to say in Beauty-Addicts.Besides the really long name, another funny thing about the Holy Roman Catholic Church - may she live long and prosper - is this: While she struggles to unite her own children into some form of agreement with her teachings, she maintains the extraordinary habit - it might even be called the extraordinary knack - of uniting mortal enemies in common disagreement with those very same teachings. Thus a lesbian activist and a Southern Ba … [Read more...]

It is [a] simple truth that man does differ from the brutes in kind and not in degree; and the proof of it is here; that it sounds like a truism to say that the most primitive man drew a picture of a monkey and that it sounds like a joke to say that the most intelligent monkey drew a picture of a man. Something of division and disproportion has appeared; and it is unique. Art is the signature of man. - G.K CHESTERTONNever has humanity been absent of art, mankind devoid of poetry, or a … [Read more...]

The problem is not that our world lacks religion. The problem is not a lack of piety, or a lack of faith. The problem with our world is that, on a massive cultural scale, we are not acting like human beings. Religion, piety, faith; all these things are the natural - and fantastic - consequence of living as a human, as a man fully alive.Our modern world is attacking, not religious institution, but humanity. The family existed before the Church. There was marriage before there was the … [Read more...]