A person who has reached a physical waist circumference of such profound proportions that sports and various obesitasks will have to be invented to make her or him any use to anyone whatsoever. We are talking wa-hay beyond '2 seat tickets in an airplane' (although that is defo on the right track); this is more in the realm of the scary monster (a skippy ball in fact) in Jon Carpenter's classic, sublimely low-budget movie 'Dark Star'.

Hey man, you wanna be our obesitoy for the next game of push-shove-punch'n'kick it?