Duboce Park was full of bitches, and we’re not just talking humans. Titty Boo Boo and Cunty Butler had gathered the hash in celebration of the Canine Form, and the hash pack had joined in full glory. Hepatitis Seeing Eye Dog, Just Stan, Prison Wallet, and tons of other beasts were frolicking on the grounds as the sun set. No Panties No Problem dusted off her knees as she rose from the grass. “There’s only so much of this I can take,” she remarked as she adjusted her dog ears. Even Hoseblower had found some… form of canine companionship for the evening.

The pack took off, but something was amiss. Masterbaster was dragged halfway into the street by Just Stan immediately. Fluffer quickly followed with Shaft in tow. The pack had split, dogs corralling their humans in one direction while the rest of the pack went the other. “I’m glad I found a bitch for my mutt,” remarked Stinky Floss, watching Public Enema No. 2 disappear into the distance.

The “masters” collected their charges and regrouped with the pack, only to be led astray again and again. “What’s going on?” yelled Slap A Bag of Dickz. “I’ve only seen Hepatitis Seeing Eye Dog get like this around cocaine!”

Around the corner came a long and low “Meoooow.” The hounds went wild, howling to the sky as they ran in pursuit. Hepatitis Seeing Eye Dog undid her leash and took off in front of the pack. Ever the hero, Dick Simmons leapt to the rescue, jumping over five homeless people in a single bound. As he did, his Blue Balls activated, flashing from his shorts to attract the attention of the canines. Just Bryan, trying to help, took his shirt off. Frothing with excitement, Fluffer looked at Just Bryan’s hairless chest and Dick Simmons’ flashing balls, and chose the balls. He narrowly missed, since Dick Simmons jumped even higher and took off towards Lucky Thirteen, where Cunty Butler was waiting to tame the pooches and people with tasty treats.

“What the hell happened?” Titty Boo Boo asked her as the pack assembled in the park.

“Everyone seems happy. Calm down a bit.” Cunty Butler swigged some of her beer.

Titty Boo Boo harrumphed. “This would have never happened on One Night Only’s watch. ”

“Hey you two,” interrupted Cockagami. “Start pouring down downs!”

Circle began, first celebrating the two virgins, Sam and Declan, and Hoseblower’s virgin puppet. Disturbed by the implications of this, the pack quickly Just Got It Over With, preferring to spend more time on the visitor Fuckle Up, and even more time on the visitor Fuckle Up’s new shoes.

Ice Chest was welcomed as a transplant, especially after letting the pack thaw a bit from the site of her sports bra. Excited by the prospect for more lady bits, the pack greeted Cockamole and My Little Porno with their floury asses. Then silence fell as Cunniwingus was called up.

“Hello boys,” she purred, twisting her hips so her cat tail whipped in the moonlight.

Just Stan tugged on his leash, gagging with excitement. Fluffer took his nose from his butt and sniffed the air.

“Meooow,” Cunniwingus cried out. Suddenly from the houses around Duboce Park, a chorus of catcalls returned her cry. Pussy poured out from every stoop surrounding the park.

At this, the dog pack could be restrained no more. Every last canine took off in fast pursuit of their targets into the night, leaving their tired owners no choice but to follow. Hoseblower, tugged on by his “Pup”pet, stumbled after them. With half of the human pack following to help, the park was almost deserted.

“I guess circle’s over,” Cockagami shrugged.

“At least it was short,” agreed Millimeter Peter. “Why the hell did you do that?” he asked Cunniwingus. “Now everyone’s just going to go home.”

Cunniwingus twittered. She whipped off her cat ears and threw them to the ground. “Smashed Tennis Ball answers to no mammal!” she screamed. “Bird is the word!” She flew off into the distance.

“It was a false flag all along,” Millimeter Peter said.

“Yeah,” Cockagami replied. “I guess we should have known… it was in her name the whole time.”

“Hey, hash names aren’t always reflective of reality!”

Cockagami merely raised an eyebrow. They both shrugged, and headed off to the bar.