Thank you, _____, for having the least easy-to-say name of any show on television. And thanks for being needlessly accusatory, as though I'm going around bragging that I can dance. I never claimed that I could dance. What's your problem, anyway?

Thank you _____ who isn't pulling his weight, for letting me handle all the pushing responsibilities while you handle all the waiting responsibilities. No, let me get it for you. You're the king of the hotel entrance.

Thank you, the word _____, for being the worst word ever. I think I speak for all Americans when I say that we don't want you as a word anymore. God I hate you.