It is a time of fear in the face of freedom, a time of an emptying country and swelling cities, a time for the widening of previous roads and the opening of new paths, yet a time when these paths are mined by knowing algorithms of the all-seeing eye. It is the time of the warrior's peace and the miser's charity, when the planting of a seed is an act of conscientious objection. These are the times when maps fade, old landmarks crumble and direction is lost. Forwards is backwards now, so we glance sideways at the strange lands through which we are all passing, knowing for certain only that our destination has disappeared. We are unready to meet these times, but we proceed nonetheless, adapting as we wander, reshaping the Earth with every tread. Behind us we have left the old times, the standard times, the high times. Welcome to the irregular times.

National Security Agency News

In the latest news from the NSA, Deputy Director Chris Inglis has reiterated the core values of the organization. “I’d like to spend a moment talking about NSA’s core values – core values that are important to us because, as federal servants, we know that at the end of the day, it’s not simply important that we deliver something of value to the nation, but it’s also very, very important that we’ve done it exactly the right way. Our core values, I hope you wouldn’t be surprised, are respect for the law, honesty, integrity, and transparency.”

Certainly, no one is surprised that the NSA values honesty, integrity, and transparency. Respect for the law is a no-brainer too. Thank you, NSA, for respecting our constitutional rights day after day!

In other NSA news, the following three universities have been awarded grants for participation in the NSA’s Cyber Initiative: Auburn University, Carnegie Mellon University, and Mississippi State University. I’m sure the adminitrations of those universities will be fully and transparently, with integrity, honesty and respect for the law, informing students about all NSA activities on campus. Bravo, schools!

The NSA also wants everybody to know that it is not investigating 4,000 cases of breached security at in its own data centers. Rather, the National Security Agency is merely investigating over 4,000 cases of potential breached security in its data centers. Rest assured! The data the NSA stole from you is perfectly secure!

By the way, did you know that the Center for Cryptologic History keeps history alive by enhancing the knowledge and decision-making abilities of the intelligence community (IC)? Oh, yes. “A critical asset, the Center for Cryptologic History provides a historical and objective account of cryptologic history.” So, whenever you have cryptologic history needs, you know where to go! Without this NSA Center, history would be dead – just you remember that.

The NSA is in your schools, too, says Chris Inglis: “We’re Americans too – we come from the same communities, we go to the same schools, we raise our families in the same communities that you live in.” Yes, Peoria, the NSA is shopping right next to you at the grocery store. They’re everywhere!

Speaking of everywhere, did you know that the National Cryptological Museum is now on Facebook? Well, let’s not be humble… Facebook is the National Cryptological Museum. Google and Yahoo, of course, serve as their own adjunct facilities.

Now, about that transparency thing: Chris Inglis clearly explains, “(I’m) often asked the question about, “How is NSA transparent?” Some might read that question to be, “Does NSA put all of its secrets in the public domain?” Of course we don’t.” Keeping secrets from the American people, of course, is what transparency is all about. Chris Inglis is willing to stake (his) personal reputation on the integrity of the NSA. Isn’t that transparent enough for you?

By the way, young people, the NSA is looking for new staff members all the time. Among the benefits of working at the NSA is paid time off, away from the office. “Life is too short to spend it all at work,” we say. Besides, your supervisor will be able to keep track of you no matter where you are. Capiche?

Finally, don’t forget: Today is the last day of Cybersecurity Awareness Month. If you’re not aware of cybersecurity yet, get cracking! You only have a few hours left to get up to speed.

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