Swan Dive

I just got out of a one week's stay at the hospital a little under a month ago. It was about the billionth time I've been in there the past several years. In fact, now that my psychiatrist is semi-retired, it's the only shot I've got at seeing him and getting any sort of medication/treatment. All in all, I am ready & set to go! No unfinished business to conduct. Apt. is in as decent a shape for the fam to move my junk out of without terrible difficulty. Finances are in order. Said good-bye's to one and all friends (both former & current!)! The one last thing I had to do for my family: watch after my Grandma for the month since I was released from inpatient while they vacationed is now over and done with. It's beautiful! I think, the last thing for me to do is to make one last pit-stop into the hospital where I can stay for a few days to talk to my doctor and all of my favorite, wonderful nurses (okay, so some of them aren't so sweet!) to be completely sure that there is no other way. I seriously doubt an alternative solution will be rendered, given all the go's I've had already, but at least this way I can know that I tried absolutely every thing I could think of to fix this mess. And in the end, I'll have to conclude that I wasn't able to figure it out. Take Care!

your friends think of the pain you will cause them your grandmother you do not want to harm her hun by leaving okay You go to hospital yes and you tell them abt your plan and you get help you need to survive hun to cope okay you do that for YOU

Hey, I just have to say, that you do know how to lift one's spirits when all else fails! So, thank you Total Eclipse, from the bottom of my heart for sharing a sympathetic gesture toward me. It means much! The hospital was a waste of time--they were full so I was shipped to a different one across town that did not have my personal doctor (so in other words utterly useless!). But regardless, you don't have to feel obligated to answer my meaningless notes if no one else does, my feelings are not so easily hurt..

I don't feel obligated hun I am sorry the hospital did not pull through for you dam it anyways. I don't get how some are so helpful while ohter hospitals just don't give a dam.
I hope your regular doctor can get you admitted into a good program outpatient even hun to help you heal Here anytime you just need to talk okay hugs

Well, thank you both, from the bottom of my Heart! Yes, things are looking much better, on this horizon than the last. I have decided to forego psychiatry for now. They made a couple of appointments with two new doctors, but it's just going to take to much time and energy and patience to reestablish the trust and build confidence in a new doctor's competence. And besides, I just absolutely loved my first and possibly last psychiatrist, personally. I am seeing my psychologist once again, and that basically takes care of that: the talkie-talk! I may have maxed out the med-path already any way. I am in the process of moving out of an extraordinary Hell-Hole. My land lord is an old man who creeps into my apartment unannounced when I am not around on frequent occasion and goes through my things, then leaves the door unlocked on his way out. I also am about to re-enroll in school for a second degree, hopefully leading to a graduate degree. Beyond all THAT! I don't know what more I can say, aside from, thank you all once again, for all that you have been, to me--which is, in short, Every Thing! :-D