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The Thing Relationships Are NOT About

There are plenty of great qualities to be found in a solid, healthy relationship. Some of the (obvious) good things that relationships are about, are:

– Friendship

– Teamwork

– Love

– Commitment

– Loyalty

– Attraction

– Trust

– Respect

…And the list goes on.

However, one thing that your relationship should never be about is…

Control.

When it comes to a healthy relationship, there should be absolutely no desire to control the other person.

Giving you ultimatums in order to be together, keeping track of where you are and who you’re with, or going through your phone without you knowing, are all clear signs of someone who is insecure, and doesn’t trust you, or themselves.

Control, is not love. Unreasonable jealousy, is not love. Ultimatums, are not love.

All of these things are what come out when someone has trust issues and projects them onto you. You could be the ideal boyfriend or girlfriend, and still be made to feel like you’re doing everything wrong, every day.

Needless to say, this will eat at both the foundation of your relationship, and your self-esteem. Dare I say, this is what the offender wants. They want you to feel like you can’t do any better because that means you won’t leave them. They want you to feel like you’re not worthy because you’ll need to get your adoration and approval from them.

They want to control you.

Have enough respect for yourself to recognize this, and don’t walk away…but run away.