Thursday, September 12, 2013

Non-celibate priests

Look, if we must have religion in this world, I want that religion to be weird and spooky and colorful and surreal -- and traditional. Would you admire the Dalai Lama half so much if he cast off the red robe and started wearing a six-button double-breasted navy blue suit? More to the point, would the Dalai Lama still be the Dalai Lama if you knew that he shared a bed each night with Mrs. Lama? Sorry, but it just wouldn't be the same.

Or take Jews. Believe it or not, I dig the beards, the yamulkas, the black suits, the mezuzahs, the whole observant Jew schtick. The only thing I don't get is the bobbing-up-and-down-while-praying thing, because the guy who's praying looks like he's listening to Philip Glass. I once helped a Jewish girl gather palm fronds for her little outdoor hut, and I thought that the end result was silly but strangely enchanting. I've never seen the Kaparot thing -- you know, the thing with the chicken -- but I like the idea.

Sikhs! Ever meet a Sikh? I love those ceremonial daggers. If ever I join a religion, it'll probably be one with ceremonial daggers. I don't know the dogma -- heck, I don't even know if Sikhs are monotheists -- and I don't really care. Dude, it's all about the daggers. Wouldn't you be ticked off if the Sikhs suddenly decided to stop carrying daggers?

You may have noticed that, throughout the Romney candidacy, I didn't make one "magic underwear" crack. I like the magic underwear. The world will be a poorer place if one day the Chief Mormon announces: "New rule: Boxers!"

There used to be a cult in Canada called the Doukhobors. (Actually, there may be a few Douks still around.) They came from Russia and had some connection with Leo Tolstoy. (I forget what the connection was. Doesn't matter.) The Douks became well-known for two practices: 1. Getting naked en masse in public, and 2. Blowing things up. Eventually, they stopped stripping and blowing shit up, and settled into a philosophy of love and tolerance. BOR-ing! Now do you see the value of tradition? I mean, these guys had devised what may be the ultimate religion -- explosions and naked chicks -- and they just tossed it away.

Here are some Hindus in southern India demonstrating the practice of Garudan Thookkam. Basically, they think that if they hang like this with hooks in their backs for a long time, everything will get better. And I'm fine with this. Do you really want these guys to mainstream their act?

So, yeah, I want RC priests to stay celibate, just as they have done for roughly a thousand years. You say Jesus didn't ask for celibacy? Feh. Too bad. It's still a tradition. A thousand years is no small amount of time.

Also: Nuns. Forget this modern nonsense. I want the wimples. I want penguinage. I want nuns who look like nuns.

Where did you stand on Rev. Moon using our congressional building and involving some of our congress critters to hold a ceremony to toss out the cross as an obsolete religious symbol and to crown him as the new heavenly father?

posted by prowlerzee : 9:57 AM

Would the Pope be the Pope without the hat and the red shoes? Would Santa Claus be Santa Claus without the beard and the sleigh and the red clothes?

Tolstoy donated the royalties to one of his novels, reputedly 30,000 Roubles, to assist the Doukhobor migration to Canada in 1899.

posted by Anonymous : 11:36 AM

I agree that it is important to respect tradition, it is what connects us to our past. But I think the idea of married priests is a reaction to the pedophilia scandal. Let me be clear, I have known more than a few priests and found them all to be wonderful human beings. There is not one that I would not trust with my grandchildren. However, i understand the Church's concern. If, and it is a big IF, having married priests would lessen the risks to children, then certainly I would think the Church would want married priests. The problem is that we really don't have enough data to understand why and how pedophilia develops or is controlled. As a side note, we, as a society, become too squeamish about investigating and discussing sexual issues. There is certainly a lot of work to be done. As for nuns, in America, they are the liberals, the bishops seem to be only concerned with abortion. When I was in college, I took a course with a nun. I drove her home after the classes. It took considerable will power to concentrate on my driving. The Habits still remind me of her. They shouldn't give those up.

Zee: The mass marriages served a very useful purpose. They announced to the world that Moon was a weirdo control freak. And I wrote a lot about "take down the cross day." Supposedly, Dubya recorded a message of support, although I haven't seen it.

Mandatory priestly celibacy is a recent (11th Century) innovation, although it was apparently custom by the 4th Century. In that case, doing away with it is actually a return to older tradition - following in the footsteps of Peter himself, who was married.

Let's not forget I Timothy 3:2 -

2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;

Which suggests to me that priests who wish to become bishops must be married (although not polygamous).

posted by Propertius : 3:52 PM

Ah, Prop -- like most Prots (which I take you to be) you remain forever stunned to learn that the RC church does NOT follow the rule of "sola scriptura." It's all about the magisterium, dude.

Hardly a Protestant, Joseph - one does wonder how one squares celibacy with the fact that the first Bishop of Rome was married, however.

posted by Propertius : 4:03 AM

I thought Roman Catholics were 'Prots', having left the church (which has never had a problem accepting married men into the priesthood) in 1054? Then the splitters had some further arguments later, right? :)

posted by b : 5:21 AM

I have no dog in the fight, but thought you might like this article http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/09/15/20477225-meet-father-dad-how-married-priests-would-change-the-catholic-church?lite