And I don't mean we were all down the video shop renting movies. I mean every show had great dramatic episodes.

In EastEnders it was welcome back to Big Mo, Little Mo and her baby, er, Half a Mo - and Kat, who has reverted to her old slapper self.

Alfie traced Kat to a pub where she was getting a nice glow on and had attracted a new admirer.

She told Alfie how he had changed from his happy-go-lucky self into a miserable old ba-ba-barman.

She said: "You used to smile and you'd touch me as you passed me behind the bar."

Mind you, she'd put on so much weight over the last few months it would be difficult not to touch her.

Every time she turned round she wiped the specials off the blackboard.

Just as well, the real-life Jessie Wallace has just given birth to baby Tallulah.

Poor old Alfie left a broken man. Next thing Kat had gone back to this bloke's flat and my guess is she'll be beyond the point of no return by Monday.

Meanwhile on Corrie that handsome rogue Danny Baldwin's been up to his old tricks with Legs Crabtree.

He got caught out, though, when the other girls came in just as he was all over Legs for a legover. Stitched up by the stitchers!

Elsewhere, Dev managed to find the cab driver who took Maya to the wedding where she was pretending to be Sunita.

I wonder if it was the same cabbie who took me from Old Trafford to Deansgate on my first day in Manchester and charged me #30 for the mile and a half journey.

ALL of those great stories will be tied up soon. Except for my thirty quid.

On The Bill, Gabriel read a poem at Kerry's funeral and Todd Carty gave us a free masterclass in the art of acting. It was powerful stuff with tears streaming down his face and tragedy in his demeanour.

In fact, for a while there I believed he really was sorry he'd shot her.

BUT when you watch all this stuff, you have to ask why television inflicts so many reality programmes on us.

I'd love to go on Room 101 and do you know what I'd get rid of? Reality TV. All of it. In fact, there's so much, some would have to go into Room 102.

When it comes to reality, check me out. If there really are people alive who behave in the manner in which they portray themselves in shows like Wife Swap, drop the bomb now.

Wife Swap? I've done that. It worked out for me, I got a Vauxhall Signum V6 Td Cdi in exchange. But I wish I'd asked her where we keep the iron before I let her go.