Five Muslim Women Dish on Their #RamadanGoals

Giving up social media and working on living a greener life are just some of the self-improvement strides these women hope to make alongside their fast.

By
Gulnaz Saiyed

May 24, 2018

Getty Images

Muslims say that during the holy month of Ramadan, Shaitan, Satan, is chained up. Any vices that emerge while he’s locked away are the ones most embedded within you. These are the shortcomings you need to deal with, because you can’t say the devil made you do it. They’re all you. While the holy month is widely known as a time of fasting, it’s also a time when we take a moment to confront our vices and strive for goals of self-improvement.

Ramadan gives me a chance to recenter and think about the blessings that I have.

Approaching the world with calm and mindfulness is an Islamic ideal year-round, one that my family can tell you I often fail to live up to, particularly during the Trump presidency. So this Ramadan, which started mid-May, beyond the usual goals of fasting daily, praying more, and reading my Quran, I’m spending time on anger management. While I have a lot to justify my rage — oppressive political policies; telling every person in my family the same thing 500 times; losing my keys, again — I’m learning that it generally comes from a place of fear and helplessness. These are emotions that years of fasting ("Will I be too hungry? What if I can’t make it?") have prepared me to face. I’m looking to confront my irritation and anger head-on, with meditation, coaching from my kids, deep breaths, and lots of introspection.

I value Ramadan as a time for Muslims to pause and reconnect with God, themselves, and their community, and I’m not alone. I talked to five other Muslim-American women about their #RamadanGoals (and challenges) for the coming weeks.

Abeer Najjar

Abeer Najjar

"I think people would assume because I’m a chef, the food is what it’s all about," says Abeer Najjar when I ask her about her goals for Ramadan. But while her childhood Ramadan was "a time to spend with other people, with family, and to eat" after sunset, it is now increasingly "a time for me to specify goals toward getting closer to God."

One way she’s achieving that this year is by cutting back on social media, a difficult ask for a woman who makes a living blogging and showing off the amazing food she makes.

"I don’t want to do a complete detox and not be on at all," she says. "The reality of my job is that I need to be on it every day, but I’m going to use this time to find a routine that isn’t addictive."

If you’ve seen her Instagram (warning for readers who happen to be fasting: there is lots of scrumptious food behind that link), you’ll know that her work generally involves showcasing the range and adaptability of the Palestinian food she grew up with.

This month, as she’ll be using social media judiciously, she hopes to use her platform to increase awareness of the Green Ramadan movement, which encourages Muslims to reduce their negative environmental impact.

"Ramadan is a month where we see enormous amount of garbage, not just food," she says. The traditional iftar meal that opens the fast after sunset is often a communal, meaning a huge use of paper napkins, plates, and decor, with plastic cutlery and cups. Abeer wants to make the Muslim community more aware of these wasteful practices, because it’s an Islamic obligation to be kind to the planet. "The Earth, just like our health or bodies — these are an amanat, or a trust, that Allah has given us as a means to become closer to him," she says.

One practical way she’ll be practicing her own Green Ramadan? Only buying a new outfit for Eid, the holiday that celebrates the end of holy month, if she knows it won’t contribute to landfill waste. "I’m going to ask myself: Is this purchase worth it? Am I going to keep it for five years, or am I just buying it for Eid?"

Margari Aziza Hill

Margari Aziza Hill

For activist and writer Margari Aziza Hill, this Ramadan is a chance to look inward. She seeks to embody the Islamic value of justice in her role as cofounder and program director of the Muslim Anti-Racism Collaborative, and this month, she’ll be taking the time to be generous to herself.

"We’re constantly bombarded with new policies, like the Muslim Ban and the end of DACA. And there’s always another crisis with a black person being killed by law enforcement," she says of her work, which involves educating individuals to dismantle racism within and outside of the Muslim community.

"It’s exhausting," she admits. But Ramadan is a time to slow down. "I really want focus on my own character, my relationship with my daughter, and address my 'always-in-this-constant-crisis-mode' of organizing."

As someone whose job involves facing current social ills and imagining a better future, Margari says it can be difficult to stop and appreciate what is right about the world. "Ramadan gives me a chance to recenter and think about the blessings that I have rather than think about all the troubles in the world," she says. "I’m looking forward to that."

More time in worship, and less time focused on food, helps with this, she says. But so does the extra time spent with community for iftar and prayer, even if it means resisting being "hangry." Ultimately, Ramadan reminds her of why she’s focused her career on anti-racism.

"I like the feelings of prayer together, shoulder to shoulder, with this diverse group of people," she says. "It makes it worth the work."

Sabeen Sadiq

Sabeen Sadiq

Stand-up comedian Sabeen Sadiq says Ramadan is a time when she writes more and performs less. "On stage, fasting, I’m shouty. After I’ve eaten, I’m lethargic." After months of touring with the Outcasted Comedy Tour, she’s spending less time on stage this Ramadan and taking the time to reconnect with her faith — and herself.

"Whenever I feel really lost in life, which is usually when I’m overworking myself, prayer or recitation of the Quran, and just talking to God, really helps bring me back to myself and grounds me," she says.

As a child, she says, she wrote letters to God in a gold pen, and left them under her pillow. This month, she wants to bring that feeling back. "Ramadan is definitely a reminder of who I am," she says.

She also wants to take this time to show others, who usually only focus on the difficulties of fasting, what the month can be. "Yeah, it is a challenge. Yeah, it’s so hard," she says. "But nothing comes easy. I want to share that with people."

Shahd Asaly

A model shows off clothing from Blue Meets Blue.

Shahd Asaly

Shahd Asaly says she’s been inspired by the people she works with — refugees from around the world — to focus on mindfulness this Ramadan.

"They’re not able to see or spend time with their family, loved ones, or friends," she says of the employees of her fashion label, Blue Meets Blue. "It makes me all the more aware of how precious time is and how life is so unpredictable."

She founded her company to support refugees in finding work within their skill sets, and provide consumers with fashion-forward, modest clothing. Blue Meets Blue is decidedly intentional about its approach to employment and fashion — but between work and family, Shahd finds she needs to be more mindful in all aspects of her life.

A 30-day crash course to be more present.

"I’m kind of looking at [Ramadan] as a 30-day crash course to be more present," she says. "You develop habits by doing something 30 days in a row. I’m hoping this will be a start of a more present me."

Having a Ramadan resolution is a chance to do that. It starts with the increased time spent in worship. "To connect with God, I need to actually be present… and I would like for that focus to trickle into every part of my life."

One way she plans to increase her mindfulness is through meditation and yoga, specifically visualization of what she’s grateful for. "Being thankful is part of my religion," she says. "And that’s where my practice leads me."

Ikhlas Saleem

Ikhlas Saleem

"Every Ramadan, I choose a different aspect of my character to improve," says Ikhlas Saleem, co-host and producer of Identity Politics, a podcast about race, gender, and Muslims in America.

This year, Ikhlas says, "I really want to focus on what I’m consuming and how much of it."

A lesson from a recent episode of the show, which featured an interview with a Muslim farmer, has stuck with her.

"She was talking about having to slaughter her first animal, and how much work goes into that or growing a small bit of spinach," she says. It’s inspired her to be more conscious of how and where the food she’s eating was produced. This is important to her spiritual development, she says, because being harmful toward the environment goes against her Islamic values. But moving away from food that’s easily available and toward food that’s natural and ethically produced doesn’t come easy, especially when it’s so tempting to have quick meals after fasting all day.

"Last Ramadan... I went to get hot wings," she says. "And I had a moment where I thought, How did they get so many chicken wings? But I ignored that and got them anyways."

She explains to me that, "Ramadan is a natural time to set an intention for ethical eating, because it’s a time for reflection. We need to think about the harm it does to us, but also the harm it does to others." Ikhlas plans on eating with more intention this year, and not ignoring the questions that come up, no matter how hungry she is.

Gulnaz Saiyed is a Muslim/American/Desi writer based in Chicago. Her work has been published by Catapult, Brain Mill Press Voices, the Huffington Post, and the Georgia Review. She's working on her first novel and a collection of essays. You can follow her on Twitter and read more of her writing on Medium.

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