People Are Mad On Twitter Dot Com That I Don’t Like Film Critics

So I was perusing the old timeline a little earlier this afternoon when I stumbled upon a follower of a follower or some shit like that announcing they had officially reviewed a film for the San Francisco Chronicle.

Honored and humbled to announce that I’m now a film critic for the @sfchronicle. I can’t even sum up how it feels to be included in these pages except that it’s like a dream come true. https://t.co/886SHbwJVb

This is usually one of the more beautiful things about Twitter. When someone breaks through with a massive success or shares a heartwarming story, Twitter as an internet community often comes together to share praise. Sometimes it’s a new job like in this case, sometimes someone has managed to stay sober for a couple of days. Either way complete strangers are afforded the opportunity to drop a “good goin man” and keep that person encouraged. You realize, if but for a second, maybe the world doesn’t completely suck.

But thennnnn sometimes you look a little closer. Take Ziki for instance. He decided to announce his first successful venture as an SF Chronicle film while also linking to his review fucking TORPEDOING a new Jim Gaffigan move. I mean what an absolutely OUTRAGEOUS move. That’s like if someone were to announce they had bought their first company while also linking to a story about them laying off every last fucking employee. It’s straight up tone deaf narcissm at its finest.

But to be honest that is my point here and on Twitter, where I am now being BERATED by “writers” and “critics” for taking ol’ Z to task:

Further evidence that people still don’t understand what a film critic’s job even is. Maybe one day…

Film critics are the complete and utter worst. Really anyone who employs themselves by criticizing someone else’s shit is the worst. I mean there was a fucking “South Park” episode satirizing how pretentious Yelpers are. But film critics? Good fucking Lord. I said it on twitter and I’ll say it on here, I don’t think a film critic has ever written a positive review. Every movie is terrible. They all stink to high heaven. And film critics would know because they also know a few big words they learned getting their English degree.

The bottom line is if you want to find something wrong with something you will. And no one looks cool being overly nice do they? So Ziki decided to bust out the tough love and rip this movie, which no one would have seen REGARDLESS to shreds. really big move from him.

So to all film critics out there, I don’t know what happened to you in life to feel so insecure that you have to now rip up fucking movies to feel better about yourself. But hey, if that smidge of power gets you through the day….eh nah that’s just sad.