I think I have it. At least to an extent. but how do you ever really know because its not like they can test you for it. like the can for cancer or for diabetes or even just strep throat(test for virus, bacteria, whatever).

So who knows.

It honestly has nothing to do with combat i saw in iraq. it does have to do with my experiences in iraq though. that of me and my ex gf. i cannot get over it. ive been home for nearly three months. i am not any better...maybe even worse. no im not going to kill myself or anything like that, but i can honestly not remember the last time i had a great day.

i could tell the story of everything..but i could never fit it all in here. i cant stop thinking about it, etc. i just do not understand anything.

You are in mourning over the loss of someone you love. It's normal, and it will take some time before you will get over it. It's exactly as if they had died. The only difference is that it's the relationship that has died, instead of the person.

The very best treatment I have ever seen for this is to get very physically active. You need lots of activity, preferrably outside in daylight, preferrably with other people.

Im sry to hear that you're going through this man,I m not mil right now but from what ive seen with my exposure to the Corps thus far, you're a young Marine, you can have any girl you want. I know it may not necesarily be about getting a new girl right now but the fact of the matter is that you are the cream of the crop man , you proved that the day you recieved (earned is the better term) your EGA. If you did/do want a new gf you have the ability get one PDQ. So don't forget that, it may sound hollow coming from a gonnabe 0 but I hope you get through all of this, if you ever come to Dallas/Ft. Worth me ane the Marines that I know over at the JRB will show you how to do it up TX style tis a promise man. Stay strong Devil Dog.

girls come easy for me. i guess you could say. why im not sure. im decent looking...lol..idk. im not interested in other girls right now. april was april. there is no replacement. she doesnt exist. my opinion of girls in general is not great right now. NEVER i have doubted or regretted being a Marine. NEVER. It comes with its extreme trials but i have and will never regret it. i dont really know what else to say.
she emailed me today but i cannot read it, as stupid as that sounds. im terrified. ive been terrified to read them since the middle of my deployment. i cannot describe the feeling.
anyways... i agree that the best thing i can do right now is get and stay very active. i have received its results..physically, mentally and emotionally in the past. its really hard to get in the swing of things..because of my depression. there is no excuse though, so im not using that as an excuse. i need to do that before i concentrate on anything.
as an "endnote"... if there are a few things i learned in iraq, it is that americans for the most part are ignorant. and moreso, ignorance is bliss. at least for so long...until you are no longer ignorant. that and my whole experience humbled me alot. that is the best word i can use to describe it. humbled.
ive been through experiences in my life like this before, albeit probably not as extreme, and made it. in time i will get through this. i just hope it isnt too much longer. cuz it fucking sucks.