Thursday, November 02, 2006

Outfit Algebra

I was talking to Rachel the other day and she mentioned that a few trends are hitting so hard right now that she feels like she can either submit and wear flowy tops and skinny pants or crawl under a decidedly untrendy rock and die. I have to agree. I believe I have decoded the reason for this, so allow me to illustrate with a crude equation (that unfortunately also illustrates my lack of a math class for the past four years):

My point is that this is the first time in a long time that almost every trend of the season can be combined into one cohesive and (mostly) uncrazy looking outfit, and droves of people are wearing it daily. Back when, say, wide-leg menswear trousers and victorian style dresses were the thing, you were forced to spread out your trend consumption at the risk of looking like an unwittingly trendy homeless person just trying to keep warm.

Let's learn to break it up, people. Until then, I'll be under a rock with Rachel.

I will be under that rock, too. I have a typically knee jerk teenage reaction of not wanting to do the thing everyone else is doing. And in my trendy neighborhood, it's impossible to escape the Skinny Jean Borg that ransack American Apparel every weekend.

I'd join you under that rock, but I think I'll just retreat into Patagonia outerwear for the next four months and call it winter. Call me back in springtime and I'll break out my Jackie O sunglasses, as they will have fallen out of fashion by then.