UM Tops In “Scientific” Ranking

News has it that a new magazine ranking puts the University of Miami at #1 at something.

We can now claim (once again — remember “Suntan U”) to be the top-ranked Playboy Party School. What joy. I expect this will be prominently featured in future law school recruiting materials, along with our long-time recruiting video. It sure gets a lot of media.

The categories are scored on a “scientific” 20-point scale, and whatever combination of entrails and calculators were used UM ended up with very high scores:

Bikini* index

20

Sex

17

Campus

20

Sports

12

Brains

20

Total

89

*-Apparently this includes, among other things, the number of days of sunshine in a year, and the number of tanning salons and cosmetic surgeons near campus. Talk about stacking the deck for South Florida.

But only 12 for “Sports”? That seems very low…

Admittedly, if one's going to do well in absurd ratings systems, this wouldn't exactly have been one of my top 100 choices. And it's hard to put much faith in a publication that still calls female college students “coeds,” but then again it does say it is “scientific,” so this has to be on a par with US News.

In any event, we here in the law school will be celebrating this achievement in an appropriate manner: next week we will begin administering exams.

But seriously, whatever is going on next door in the college, students just attend U.Miami Law for the articles…