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Opinion: On "23 Things to Do Instead of Getting Engaged Before You're 23"

Jan 24, 2014

A few weeks ago, my Facebook news feed was bombarded with shares of “23
Things to Do Instead of Getting Engaged Before You’re 23.” In case you missed
it, here is the original link: 23 Things to Do Instead of Getting Engaged before You're 23.
I’ve never been angrier with anything I’ve read online, so I figured I’d get
this rant out of my system.

I’d like to preface this by saying
that I don’t know where I stand on getting married young. In fact, I clicked on
the link because I was genuinely open to ideas to try out before turning 23. Upon
reading the article, however, I was severely disappointed.

This article is listed as a
personal opinion, but it stopped being just that the moment this ignorant girl
put down her peers in order to make herself feel better. This girl likes to
pretend that she sees some holy light that all of her inexperienced baby-popping
friends fail to acknowledge. In reality, her immature approach and closed mind
prove that she has no business telling people what to do.

With the Millennials, I have begun
to- as she put it- notice a common thread- we tend to actively look for ways to
screw up and label them as “finding ourselves”. And if there comes a moment
when our friends, God forbid, figure themselves out before we do, well, it’s
okay. We can just judge them and criticize them for having the adult thing
down. Besides, they’ll get married and spit out babies in no time. THEN WE CAN
FAT-SHAME THEM!

Don’t get me wrong, I am beyond
grateful to be living in a world where screwing up is allowed and even
encouraged, but some people are abusing this privilege. When did it become ok
to shame those brave enough to start life alongside another human being and
celebrate those who YOLO through it without a care in the world?

This Millenials’ rights advocate
lists inexperience as the reason young couples choose marriage. She seems to
believe that as soon as you tie the knot, your life is over. There’s
housekeeping and pregnancy written all over your forehead. She seems to believe
that colleges and grad schools don’t accept married people, and travel visas are
awarded based on your marital status. She seems to believe that you have to
screw a lot of frogs before you come across a prince. She seems to believe that
young people use marriage as a safety blanket rather than as what it is
intended to be- a manifestation of love.

But maybe, just maybe, some people
decide to go through life’s steps quicker than others. Maybe they’ve
experienced more in their 23 years of life than she has. Maybe they’ve found
themselves, then found somebody they want to share their lives with- ya know,
get passports with, adopt a pet with, eat mad amounts of Nutella with, and even
hang out naked in front of a window with. Meanwhile, she can go about her life
toying with people’s emotions and waiting to see when it will blow up in her
face….because that’s what experienced, highly educated risk-taking people do.

The bottom line is, there is nothing
wrong with her for being single. There is nothing wrong with her married
Facebook friends for being married. There is nothing wrong with anybody, as
long as they’re productive members of society and they choose to live their
lives in ways that work best for them.

P.S. Saying “I do” is
probably a much higher risk than anything on her irrelevant list.

2 comments
:

Thank you Ada! I've been seeing her stupid post everywhere and it's driving me crazy! I actually was ranting about it just this morning to Brad, since after having gotten engaged before we're 23, we've been told multiple times that we are too young. People are different, and personally I would rather get married young then eat an entire jar of Nutella. Hands down. But if an entire jar of Nutella is someone's thing, do it.