Panic Attack

I had a minor panic attack recently where I was getting ready for bed and all of a sudden thought that I’d forgotten to get the newsletter, or an editorial done. And I didn’t have anything to write about.

Sounds like a bad dream for a writer, and it is. Reminds me of the nightmares I used to have waiting tables where I’d be at work, but constantly falling behind, unable to get people their food or drinks, getting more and more tables, and having complaints coming back constantly. Usually those occurred when I was working lots of hours.

That’s not the case here. I feel busier, and more pressure at times, but the last week hasn’t been overloaded at work. This week has been tough, with family stuff interfering with work during the day, and I’ve been running behind, but not panic’d.

My supply of editorials, however, has been low. There have been two times this year where I went to go shoot a podcast for a couple days away and I realized that I didn’t have any editorials written. Lots of half-written ones, but I had to spend quite a few hours trying to polish something off. Some of them haven’t been as good as I’d like them, and that bothers me.

I used to really worry about running out of things to write about. In seven years I’ve learned that I shouldn’t be worried, and that something will come, but I can’t get overconfident either. I need to work at this on a regular basis.