This year's (post) Halloween (post) is a two-parter because Hal and my costumes... clash? with the sweetness of our children's sweet munchkin get-ups. Not that we didn't last year. Or the year before. Or the year before.

But this year Hal and I were especially disturbing.

(Our poor children.)

Speaking of:

This year Archer really wanted to be a Chess Board. He's recently taken to Chess - via Checkers and wanted to be an "entire game of chess" for Halloween which was exciting because I could totally make that. Cardboard, sharpie and voila! Unfortunately Archer switched it up on us last minute and said he'd rather be a "Chess King" which took a little more work and would have to be a bit less hand-made but was still totally doable:

My mom hand made the "chess-board" pants because she's amazing like that. The checkered-shoes I found at our go-to sneaker shop and the upper half of his costume is a simple King costume from the costume store.

He had a crown but refused to wear it which was a shame but he still looked adorable even though everyone thought he was a knight.

"I'm not a knight, I'm a Chess King! CHECK MATE!"

"Check mate" has been Archer's go to threat for the last week. It's seriously intimidating, like, wow.

Fable, being too young to pick her costume went as a "Curious Bouquet of Flowers." Her legs the stems (the same neon green babylegs she wore last year) and her dress a tutu filled with faux rose petals c/o her grandma Susan:

The flowered barrettes were handmade, purchased from a local boutique and she wore a flower on her back I found at the same store and will likely steal and wear with a party dress some crazy night.

They wore their costumes all day and only ONE person got what Archer was. "No I'm not a knight, I'M A CHESS KING! CHECK MATE!"

So many mofos got check-mated yesterday, it wasn't even funny.

Meanwhile, and very surprisingly, no one confused Fable with a little boy. Although, no one got that she was a "Bouquet" either. We went with Flower Fairy just to keep the explaining to a minimum.

Archer, of course, being Archer thought she looked more like a garden. So he called her his "baby sister garden" which was also true.

"She's a GARDEN, not a fairy. And I'm a CHESS KING, not a knight! Okay?"

My favorite stories from last night:

1. While trick-or-treating, we came across a woman dressed like Octomom, complete with horrific side-ponytail and a sling full of baby dolls when Archer stopped suddenly, gasped and screamed: "OH NO! What do we do? That woman has babies all over her!"

2. Also, whilst trick-or-treating, a little girl tripped on her princess skirt and went flying face first into someone's lawn, her pumpkin full of candy launching across the walkway, sending Snickers and DOTS all over the pavement. Archer, being the sensitive, caring boy that he is, gasped, ran toward the hysterical little girl and said, "OH NO! Are you...r candies okay?"

Womp. Womp. Wooooooomp...

Meanwhile, Fable enjoyed her first Halloween not three-weeks old and I took a record 321 photographs in a three hour period. Flower-petaled tutus will do that to a mother.

"Garden"

"Curious Bouquet"

"Flower fairy"

Okay, I'll stop now.

Shit, I love having kids.

I'm going to have, like, ten more.

And Archer will be, like, "Mommy, no! You have babies all over you!"

...And I'll be like, "your fault, dude. Your fault! You and your sister were WAY too cute when you were all dressed up on Halloween, smiling at your dad and me from the stoop of our old house."

If I had your knack for having precious children I'd have a hard time stopping at just ten more! They looked like they had tons of fun!

jessica
| 4:13 PM

it's natural for a woman to look at these pictures and wish for more kids but your kids are so cute that my husbandish just came upstairs and said about Fable "she's a cute kid- makes you want another one doesn't it?" i was like yeah she's cute but i don't think so and he was like oh yeah, i think so.

My youngest makes me want to have more, too, but my husband is having none of that. Also, they grow up and won't stop talking and it drives me a little insane, so stopping at 3 is probably a smart choice.

Anonymous
| 9:10 PM

shit. your kids are cute. how many pairs of baby legs does your daughter own anyway...just curious.

Stacy
| 11:07 PM

Um, I think you owe it to the world to have more kids. Well, maybe just to your readers.

I can't stop laughing at "Oh no, what are we going to do?" in reference to babies all over. And I can't stop marveling at your recent post about the nostalgia that the holiday evokes. Happy belated Halloween.

It's totally understandable wanting 10 more babies with the two of yours being so freakin' cute. Seriously, love the costumes.

Adrianne
| 8:36 AM

OMG, Fable looks so ridiculously adorable in these pictures! Is it safe to assume she was not mistaken for a boy on this occasion?! LOL, your last post was by far the funniest thing I've read in a VERY long time:) I was so disappointed when I got to the part where you said you didn't actually say all of that. I'd love to see the look on some little old lady's face after *that*. ;)

Archer gets mad points from my four year old chess fanatic. Total envy.

The Forty-Eight year old fanatic that I'm married to made me get up, during dinner to check your blog (twice) to see what costume YOU did this year. We still doubled over laughing at the memory of last year's. Really, there should be a Nobel Prize for Halloween costumes-you'd have won last year. Anyway, he's going to keep nudging me to check over here until you finally show us what you did. But like, no pressure ;)

How freakin' delightful! I love the costumes, and Archer cracks me up (which I needed this morning)! Archer makes me want to skip having a baby and just have a kid, and then I look at Fable and I'm thinking, nah, have to do the babies, cause she's too damn cute! Seriously, who the hell would mistake her for a boy?!?

This year, I saw a dad that held up a posterboard that said what his kids were, so when the people opened their doors, they could see this sign above the kids' heads that said, Grace Kelly and Marie Antionette. Something to keep in mind next year if the costume is super specific genius-style again :)

And if my babies look like Fable, I will have to have lots as well, so cute!