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Friday, March 26, 2010

who are you again?

I'm the girl who makes bizarre kissy faces every time a camera appears, so my mom sneaks up behind me and yells, "Hey, it's a narwhal!" to get my attention.

I'm the boy who does not approve of this touch-a-truck event. How can I touch a truck if I'm confined in this pathetic excuse for a stroller? How can I crawl under the Hummer limo, harass the K-9 police dog, lick the seats of the cement truck, and run away into the crowd, laughing?

They're rhino shoes. Because they have a rhino horn. I like to wear them when I'm cheerleading or playing the game they taught me in school where I stand in a field and think about Jesus. I don't know what that game is called, but I think it has something to do with cavities.

*

In other news, the New Vegan Cruelty was especially hard today. There was a speckle of paper on Dr. Krog's sock, and it looked just like the sprinkles on my favorite sort of cupcake at Kroger, and I almost ate his sock. Just in case it tasted like sprinkles.

Yes, I know it's possible to go to a vegan bakery or make vegan baked goods. But the point is that being selectively vegan makes it ridiculously hard to obtain those unnecessary calories.

1 comment:

I have to tell you that you are absolute brilliant and as completely random as my sister and I and I adore you for that! Thank you for making me laugh hysterically. Perhaps I also owe some of that thanks to Biscuit!