Does the nice guy really always come in last?

I've seen it before girls that would rather be with a guy that treat them like crap that seem like their only interest is how quickly the can get the in bed vs a guy that would bend over backwards to make them feel special and treat them with respect. So is it the norm for girls to fall for the bad boys and ass holes rather than guys that respect them?

Most Helpful Girl

Great question. I look back on my life to the male friends I have to this day... I have six very close male friends who back in the day, I could have dated any one of them, and never did. They were all "the nice guys", I went after those bad boys who were hot. But they would hurt you every time something better came along. I finally found a hot one who was caring, giving and smart... but those six nice guys are my friends to this day, and everyone of them have been divorced, marriage troubles, or never married at all... point being younger we choose for different reasons than we do when we are older. If today I could, I would DAT four out of the six that I never would have back then... so, I think our wants and needs totally change as we age, and the desire for " that look" isn't important any more.

yeah at least you are honest enough to admit hot cocky guys were the option in your youth. well i found that you can find a sweet balance between the two worlds as a man, but then again i decided i won't alter my character for anyone, so i found someone that liked the original me.

@Longshoreman, and not to mention everyone of those six men that were nice guys, are all career focused and successful but have had numerous other issues... so I believe it is all about mutual respect and balance.

@Danielstairclimber dont take at face value what some women say nor try to make logic/congruence out of it. plus lets face the truth we are shallow beings. appearence is the first frontier of attraction. i have done it, you have done it, she has done it. the side kicks/friends were orbiting around miamigirl because they chose to do so. noone forced them. despite they saw she fucked and was heartbroken by the "cool" guys. it was a nice alternative and ego boost and all for her, but in the end she chose noone of them. but you have to remember if you are a victim in any way in this life chances are you have a part in that victimhood. the fact that their marriages failed as she said has direct correlation to them not being able to attract her. they had their serious flaws and weaknesses.

What Girls Said 8

Does the nice guy really always come in last? Yes in my opinion. I find self-proclaimed nice guys generally have nothing to little to offer besides being nice to a gal they want to date/fuck... which is often a default expectation not some grand special snowflake quality that they seem to think it is. It really isn't hard for a gal to find a guy that will be nice to her because he wants to date/fuck her. Many times if a guy has enough attractive/appealing traits she can overlook him being an asshole because she thinks the power of her love will make him change.

So is it the norm for girls to fall for the bad boys and ass holes rather than guys that respect them? No it's not the norm. In my opinion most gals are with guys that respect them. I find guys who believe the norm is gals fall for bad boys and not guys that respect them think so because they fail with gals. Rather than do self-reflecting they are egoistical enough to think they have no flaws and the only reason a gal wouldn't want to be with them is because he's nice and gals want to be treated like crap. Such guys in my opinion tend to focus on what they want to see for confirmation bias.

First of all, no one is nice 24/7. If these so - called "nice guys" just expect to click their fingers and have women running to them all the time. They won't get far. In a way I feel sorry for shy guys, because they are can't even attempt a conversation with a woman that they are interested in, never mind asking her out. They just seem to think they can stare at them, stand next to them and wait to be taken by the hand. Regardless of gender, if you have serious feelings for someone you should really try to act on it before its too late. Rather than settling for someone else or sleeping around because those are easier options.

I'm extremely shy (although I'm also a psycho inside and have been to prison). I'm almost entirely introverted. I have no idea how to start a conversation with someone to even find out if I would be interested, even if they show obvious signs like flat out telling me they think I'm attractive.

@BigBallerSodaPop Well you should probably try talking to that you don't find attractive first, just for a bit of practice. Shyness isn't a barrier for me anymore, when I was a teenager I was shy but I worked on improving my confidence by doing what I've mentioned.

No, when they approach me, I ignore it most of the time. When they make subtle passes. Like I said, I'm not really "shy," I'm more of an introverted psycho. I'm massively angry and it probably comes across on my face. I have mental problems so severe that psychiatrists have refused to work with me, but they are getting better with time.

@BigBallerSodaPop lol! Sorry I thought you were joking about that. I have a short fuse so I can become quite aggressive, sometimes my mood instantly changes. I can go from being cool calm and content to being angry and aggressive. But I'm still battling it, I can control it better now though. Its normally when people start annoying me or giving me grief I tend to snap. I'm not at the stage where I need professional help. You have the right idea on getting the treatment you need, at least you are making improvements. I'm surprised they even try approaching you if you have a face like thunder. People stay well back from me, like you I'm not good at hiding my emotions. . . you did say that you were extremely shy by the way.

@BigBallerSodaPop you sound like you should go to a mental hospital and get the treatment you need, but the only downfall is that they would probably keep you in there. Lock you up and throw away the keys. If you really are as bad as you say.

What Guys Said 12

People generally like to be treated good... Even women... The probably you're running into is that girls from about puberty to about 25 are going through that entire identity vs. role confusion thing-a-ma-jing trying to find out who they are and break free of their parents control. So they want to go get a tattoo, piercings, do some drugs, slut around, date guys their parents hate, and basically everything their parents told them not to do to be a decent human while they scream and stomp their feet and say you can't tell me what to do mom...

They do. Women like the excitement that bad boys offer initially. Then they get knocked up with 2-3 kids, lose their looks and expect nice gut to willingly acceptBilly Joe Badboy's leftovers. FUCK THAT SHIT IN THE MOUTH ! You stupid twats had your shot with a good respectful guy who could provide you a good life. But no, you squandered your looks, energy and best years on guys who didn't/don't deserve it. Now you're damaged and used goods who no man in his right mind would pursue.

Yes it is normal. Girls like to be controlled and mistreated. I've noticed it. Here is the catch, if you don't, girls have the tendency to do this to guys. Girls are naturally mean and abusive if they aren't abused. So if you want a girl, be really mean to her, and act openly perverted and borderline stalk her. Eventually, she'll like you.