Go to a quiet, dark place and light a few candles (preferably scented). Cue up my theme music. Now close your eyes, listen to my intro in it’s entirety and visualize greatness. Then, and only then, may you open your curious eyes and continue on (make sure you go back and watch the video because it’s awesome). If you lack the heart of a champion, I strongly recommend you either 1) refrain from reading further, or in my opinion the better option 2) play my theme music on at full volume,on repeat, until you’ve built up the testicular fortitude to withstand any obstacle on your way to glory.

For those of you unfamiliar with my life-story, I’ll break it down my bio for you in a few sentences. Since the tender age of 12, I’ve spent my life traveling the world as a mankini model. I’m proud to be the first and only male model/fantasy baseball writer in our world’s great history. It hasn’t been a fairy-tale, that’s for sure, but it’s allowed me the financial freedom to help those in need. A few of the endeavors I’m most proud of– My trips to Cambodia, where I visit orphanages and take them all skydiving, otherwise known as “Beddict’s Head First Program”, as well as teaching Thai hookers sign language, which I feel really services those of us not fortunate enough to fully take in what the dirty talk is all about. Foundation is being laid down as we speak, for “The Beddict Center for Thai Hookers to Learn Sign Language”, and the response is extremely positive thus far. Please contact me for ways to donate.

None of the other writers can look me in the eye in the shower of the Razzball locker room and it stings. They can’t begin to understand what it feels like to walk around in a pink thong, lathered up in Crisco and still feel masculine. I’m the Michael Sam of the Razzball staff, if you will. Though I’m not gay personally, I like to consider myself an honorary member. I will save the rest of my hardships about breaking into the business of fantasy sports writing for another time as the moment has come to actually begin writing about the subject you are on this glorious website for: Fantasy Baseball.

Being that we are nearing draft dates, I thought it would be interesting to mention a few players at each position who are highly ranked everywhere to avoid drafting this season. Remember that this is not the opinion of Razzball, but just that of I, Tehol Beddict. Granted some of these soon-to-be-named players are great, it’s just that I wouldn’t’ take them where they are slotted to go. The title for this post was inspired by a movie I illegally downloaded and viewed this past week titled, you guessed it, Filth. Very disturbing film, yet I love the word, so there you have it. If anything, make sure you watch this scene (NSFW). Oh yea, I almost forgot to mention, I spanked the other Razzball employees in our Razzball Writers RCL League last year. Not in the sensual way a Catholic priest would spank a teenage boy, but in a bend over and grab your ankles prison style spanking.

Am I hot? Homey, did Ike beat Tina? Let’s get it.

Catchers

Matt Wieters – I have a Lord of the Rings style trilogy in the works encompassing my passionate hatred for the man formally known as “God”. This peonic life form has let me down, time and time again, yet I continue to believe that each year is his breakout season. How can this guy not succeed? HIS NICKNAME IN COLLEGE WAS MOTHERF#CKING “GOD!”. Batting .235 in a loaded lineup like Baltimore has is something I’d expect from a bum like Dan Wilson (remember him Mariner fans?), not someone known as “God”. Mauer with power? Talk about a sick joke. Wieters is softer than Roseanne’s son, D.J. I’d recommend taking an Evan Gattistype player. I love Gattis AKA Da White Bear, not just because he has George Ruthian like power, but because he wasn’t a high draft pick formerly known as “God,” and I don’t want to wash out his rancid mouth with goat piss every time he speaks. Did I mention Wieters was known as “God” to his teammates at Georgia Tech? You couldn’t pay me to draft this guy before the 11th round, and I suggest you stay away as well for I fear many of you have been sucked into the vortex of worshiping this false God, as I have………Who am I kidding, I’ll probably draft him in every league.

Yadier Molina - Can last season’s top ranked catcher do it one mo’ time for ya’ll? I’m gonna say no. First of all, Molina is going to be 32 in July and that just so happens to be the age Christian Slater was when he seemingly fell off the face of the earth. Still one of this planet’s most perplexing unsolved mysteries, Slater deserved better.

On a serious note, I’m just projecting catchers like Brian McCann and Joe Mauer to bounce back heavy and Molina’s numbers to decline a bit. Even Wieters might pass him……Did I really just say that? God, I hate that guy. I like Molina but you’d be better off using that high selection on a player with major upside. Have faith in me for I have faith in you.

Second Basemen

Robinson Cano – I’ve neverdrafted Cano and win multiple titles every single season. Coincidence? I think not. Now imagine him taken from the friendly confines of Yankee Stadium and hitting in Safeco field with washed up Corey Hart and Logan Morrison as his only protection. Sadly, a dip in production is guaranteed in all major categories except possibly batting average. Now, I live in Seattle, so I’ll be sacrificing multiple goats in his honor, praying to the Elder Gods for an MVP like season, but I just don’t see it. Is Cano still the #1 2nd baseman in baseball? Without question. Should you take him in the first round? Sure, if you want to lose or if you’re playing in a 20-team league.

Rickie Weeks - I didn’t have much issue with any rankings on 2nd Basemen, so I thought I’d take a moment to mention the disgraceful fall off of Rickie Weeks. Only once before in my lifetime have I witnessed human beings seemingly go limp overnight. Those human beings you ask? That would be none other than the sellout band, Filter. How do you go from this and this, to THIS!? Talk about Charmin soft. These former Nine Inch Nails knockoffs went from hardcore to the cupcake lead singer looking like a bloated tadpole floating around singing about feeling like a newborn. I, honest to the Gods, didn’t believe it at first. I used to ask a good friend of mine, who’s still into butt-rock, “hey, remember that band, Filter? They rocked hard son!” When I learned that ‘Take a Picture’ song was created by Filter and not someone like The Spindoctors, I was dumbfounded. How could this be? Why was this not making national headlines?!?? I still want and need answers for this fraudulent behavior! And I still want answers from Rickie Weeks, on why/how he is so god damn horrific at playing baseball.

Third Basemen

David Wright - I get it; David Wright is a very good baseball player when he’s not injured. That’s like saying Old Dirty Bastardwas a great rapper when he wasn’t abusing crack cocaine (also applicable to DMX). 3rd base is pretty pathetic nowadays and will become even more so next season when Miggy is no longer eligible. Let’s put it this way; ESPN has the surprisingly short Wright ranked number 3 and young gunna Manny Machado ranked 12nth. I’ll take the kid with the gargantuan upside every single time, which is why I’m three more titles away from ascending to Godhood and David Wright owners are taking their anger out on their children in the home place. Shame on yuh!

Josh Donaldson – I would bet my pet chicken, Beatrice’s life, that Donaldson doesn’t come close to approaching last season’s totals. There’s a better chance of Ace of Base making a comeback, and oh how spectacular that would truly be. Try and watch that video and not start dancing. Unless you were born in the 90’s, you got to feel this, playaz! All Tehol wants is his babies, and J.D. ain’t the one, so see the sign and look elsewhere for a 3-bagger. ONE MORE VIDEO! I seriously can’t stop watching these.

Shortstop

Derek Jeter – Everybody loves this gift-basket giving legend, but the truth is that he’s been overrated in fantasy and in real life for the last 13 years or so. He’s actually ranked low enough this season(for the first time ever) that he’s actually underrated but I’m just putting him here to make up for past year’s mistakes.

Jean Segura - Don’t be fooled by last year’s scorching start, as Segura is more like that fat dude in Accepted than Jonah Hill. Wait, what?!?! That was Jonah Hill? Yikes! Shortstop is so absurdly pitiful that it would be nice to own Segura, but I’m assuming you’re going to have to draft him somewhat early to do so and I can’t, in good conscience, recommend that.

Outfielders

Allen Craig- Can reality please strike these pedestrian Cardinal hitters? I’m waiting for the news to hit any day now that their entire roster is injecting some undetectable steroid. What else could possibly explain these bums suddenly hitting like Hall of Famers? It’s like Jimmy Fallon becoming famous; I just don’t get it.

Adam Jones - I always thought Jones to be solid and was obviously devastated when the Mariners traded him for Bedard (WHOOPS), but seeing him ranked in the top-10 overall scares me. I’d be more than surprised if he repeated last year’s numbers and if you could get, say, Domonic Brown in the much later rounds (you can and I will), as well as some other high upside younger guys, I would highly recommend doing so. If it came down to it, I’d take Cano over Jones, so yea, I just don’t see it. Sorry, not sorry.

Michael Cuddyer – I’m seeing this salt n’ pepper hair having old man being ranked ahead of Josh Hambone the God, and Dominic Brown? I pray to the wise elders, that my competition is drafting based off of these rankings, for I will end all of thee in murderous fashion. Witness.

Designated Hitter

Jason Giambi - I viewed “The Gambino’s” name on ESPN’s designated hitter list. Someone please tell me this is a joke. Someone please inform me that Giambi is not so much as receiving a training camp invite. He is so horrifically pathetic, I cannot bare to witness another season of this cheating disgrace on the bench. Somebody lied, for Giambi can’t possibly be playing pro ball anymore.

Starting Pitchers

Mike Minor - Another player I just didn’t like the feel of. Sure, the numbers looked pretty solid, but why Minor is ranked 16th on ESPN’s list, I have no clue. They’re literally 25-30 pitchers I’d draft over Minor and that’s just sweet, gentile Tehol, trying not to offend anyone. I know Big Mike will be looking like a tasty morsel to you on draft day but it don’t matter, just don’t bite it.

Matt Cain – Why is Cain getting a pass for last season? That was the definition of a disgrace. That’s all I have to say about that.

Closers

Jim Johnson – I’ve been expecting Johnson’s downfall for the past few years now, but he somehow managesto keep putting up stellar numbers, even though he’s one of the most hittable closers I’ve ever witnessed. No team will ever win a World Series with this bum as their closer and that’s on the hood, cuz. Sorry, I’ve been watching a lot of rap videos lately. Anyway, it’s only a matter of time before Johnson goes all Valverde on us and I hope it’s this year, and I hope you don’t draft him.

It’s certainly good to be back at the Razzball offices, getting compliments on my glutes from Jay Wrong [Ed. Note- You know it brah.] and the fellas, doing one of the things I love most in this world. Speaking of things I love, I have to wake up at 4am tomorrow to help dig a well for a local Amish community. What can I say? I’m a giver. By the way, I failed to mention that I’m the resident “Points League” expert so please hit me with questions about that but let’s be honest; there’s not much difference between the different kinds of leagues.

Your comments, criticism, and questions will be responded to promptly below and feel free (or obligated) to follow me on Twitter at @TeholBeddict47. Here’s to fantasy baseball, the greatest “game” there is.

@Tehol Beddict: I was only poking some fun, really, just because of the utter absence of any statistical analysis whatsoever. But if you are going to disagree with some of the rankings that grey has published (ex AJones and Minor), I think you do need a little bit more than “I have a feeling” to convince anybody. But….you’re a pretty successful FBB player from what I’ve seen….so what do I know.

@RandomItalicizedVoice: I’m kinda with RIV, it’s hard to swallow this on just opinion and 90’s era youtube references.

That’s not to say I don’t agree with what you say- but it’s kind of obvious. You just suggested to Razzball readers, whom I’d like to think are the most knowledgeable if not immature ‘fantasy baseballers’ in the game, not to draft Robby Cano. WELL NO KIDDING! Jason Giambi is washed up? YOU DON’T SAY!!!

Tell us something we don’t know, and support it with more than gut feelings and NWA.

@UncleLarryWalker: You’re really going to reference the Giambi part? That was obviously included as a joke. I just use a particular strategy and these are players that I would suggest avoid drafting in their slotted spots. It’s not just a “Feeling,” it’s based off following all of these players for their whole career, watching them, analyzing the numbers and possibly adding some gut feeling. Feel free to not watch the youtube videos. I enjoy them immensely.

@RandomItalicizedVoice: I wasn’t aware of Grey’s rankings before writing this. My strategy is simply drafting guys who I believe have a high probability of having an absolute monster season, whereas with Jones I feel like people are just praying he is able to reach his past two season’s performances.

As for Minor, I just don’t love him based on watching him. He hardly ever makes it out the 5th or 6th inning and seems to implode out of nowhere. This is obviously the case with many starters, I was just surprised to see him ranked so far ahead of some players I read about on ESPN.

“Reach his past two seasons” – that would be a “monster seasons.” he was ranked in the top 10 each of the last 2 seasons – at the end of the season. This is the problem with experts sometimes – they’re always looking for the “next” best thing – when the reliable “true” thing is staring them in the face. Drafting a guy like Adam Jones in the first round – ahead of guys who have never finished in the top ten (like Harper) – is just plain smart. No argument to the contrary given the risk.

@Tehol Beddict: Minor had 2 games all year where he didn’t make it into the 6th. His first game 5.2 inn and one late season implosion for 1.2 innings. He’s 25 heading into his 3rd year. Not trying to hate but going at least 6 innings in all but 2 starts is a better indicator.

@Mike: How many times did he make it to the 7nth. I owned him last year. Im just saying I don’t like him ranked that high and don’t see the jump to stardom and there are other guys I like better. THAT IS ALL

@Tehol Beddict: Started 32 games, 93% went at least 6, 66% went 6+ and 41% 7 innings. out of the 30 games he went at least 6, 46% of those games he was under 100 pitches. That’s a club managing a young starter.

@Tehol Beddict: I think it was frustrating mostly because they pulled him and didn’t need to a lot of the time. However his biggest step last year was keeping his composure, he was known to have a short fuse and be a bit of a baby after a bad inning or giving up a homer. The back and forth actually reminded me to look at him more closely. Problem is guys like ESPN blindly jump on the bandwagon and just project last years numbers, Minor can actually improve IMO. Solid #3, possible #2.

@JustJack: my thoughts exactly, it’s barely believeable those are the same “band”. I wonder how many fights would happen if hardcore early Filter fans were forced to hang out with ones only from the newer songs. The Great Filter Lock In Massacre.

@Bill S. Preston, Esq.: I like Stanton better than jones. I like having a monster 3bagger though obviously high for beltre or encarnqcion, but not that cray. Rather have can than Jones without question. God I love Hanley and if he anything like last year minus injuries would be well worth the spot. Also prefer bryce harper to Adam Jones based on upside. Possible mvp season

Definitely conflicting messages on Adam Jones, i’ll trust Grey more than this wannabe Yahoo writer. No reason to be down on Cano either, if there was, I need statistical evidence. 2B is not super deep, if he falls to the right spot it wont be a problem

@dace: so u expect every single writer on here to all have Jones in the same fucking spot???? These yahoo comments are killing me as I don’t think I’ve ever read anything sports related on there. I might apply for a job there though. My main point here is that cano s numbers will be down. That is all sir. And our obvious point about him falling to the right spot is well taken. Genius

I’ve sometimes wondered if Beddict is actually Grey, writing after zooting crystal meth. or like the fantasy writer version of Tony Clifton. To argue for the Adam Jones camp, he already repeated 2012 numbers in 2013. So I guess more accurately you’re betting against the three-peat.

Point leagues articles back this year? Stud Pitchers get a little more love in that format, no? Do you see any other SP besides Kershaw going first round in your points league?

@de nachos: god I worship Tony clifton. Yea I get it Jones is very good. But when I Draft in top 6 I’m going for the monster with largest upside or couple years back best 2bagger or short stop. Honestly I’d rather have Stanton then Jones but I’m only one.

As far as points League stuff yes I will post some stuff. Pitchers are Def more valuable there and I could see Yu Yu going in the first and maybe even strausy. Strasburg is going to have monster sseason

@Tehol Beddict: I understand what you’re saying man, but Giancarlo? yes potential thru the roof….. but so was chris davis 5 years ago, it just took him 5 years to finally have a good season…. You can’t invest a first round pick (if you’re saying you’d take Giancarlo over Adam jones) in some guy who’s never done it based on upside over guys with proven track records.

Give me JONES with a 30hr/10sb .280 avg floor and i’m good…. we all know there’s potential for more, does adam jones have NO more upside that you’d rather take some guy who’s all upside? idk…. to each his own, i respect your thoughts, not everyone has to agree with grey,,,,,, BUT when it comes down to it i’m taking the most for sure things in the first couple rounds…..

@tony: Ok then take a for sure 3rd basemen like beltre or Encarnacion. Stanton is one of numerous players id take over jones. just what I AM DOING, but obviously I’m not running your drafts. I’m glad this post sparked debate though. and when i say debate I mean BEddict Bashing

@brent: these guys are dropping heat rocks on you right now, as they are both on point. I’ve been drafting Chris Davis every year since he came on the scene in Texas and see another savage season there with average obviously down a bit but yea Braun and Cargo are both great picks here. Encarnacion and beltre will have monster seasons but you could maybe get in 2nd round. I still love Stanton as well as Bryce Harper also

@Tehol Beddict: sorry man… It was in the moment. I recently traded for jones so it upset me i guess. I did really enjoy that wrecking ball post on the FB for the record! Anyway, your opinion on jones is your opinion… So here’s my trade… I gave harper and minor for jones and kershaw… Thoughts?

@Willy: Willy you came in like a wrecking ball and broke me. Your trade is a total home run. Harper younger than jones but Kershaw leaps and bounds better pitcher than Minor. THink you killed that trade bro.

Hey Tehol, I have a keeper question I hope you can help me out with. 12 team QS league with IP Limit… Need to decide between Cingrani or Wacha. Given my other pitchers, which would you choose? Cingrani has the better K’s, but Wacha might get more innings… who’s the better value? Or should I just shaddup and flip a coin?

@shibboleth: Never shaddup. always analyze. Wacha is 2 years younger and looks to a legend in the making. I wouldn’t want to have to make this selection as I worship both of them. But if I’m making it, I’m taking Wacha.So there’s no way to keep both eh?

FWIW, I’m not sure why all the hate you’re receiving especially when you actually have a better track record than Grey from what I can tell. Nothing against Grey mind you but the sycophant-mania for his prognostications is a bit over the top especially given his history of major blunders on some players.

At any rate, I actually like that there is some diversity of opinion on players in Razzball. Thanks for the post, Tehol!

@Long Live Tehol the Great!: My liege! Thank you sir; I’m glad you like seeing a few different opinions here and there. I feel it’s an important aspect of any sports website as obviously not everyone is going to have the same opinion. Grey is one of the most entertaining writers I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading and to me that’s what this site is about, as well as unearthing some gems here and there. Trust me, he does his homework.

I did enjoy getting Jones last year for a very cheap price, I think like 5th round or something. He will be one of my keepers though, so for that I like seeing his draft stock so high, doesn’t cost me a thing. With Goldy as my other keeper, best hitting combo in our league by far.

Why you dissin’ my boy? What about 30+ HR, 15+ SBs, 90+ Runs, 100+ RBI and .280+ average is there not to like? I’ll do my best Seth Meyers impersonation (though not as suckily) and say Dominic Brown, really? I can see why you can get him many rounds later…because he will give you 10 less HR, 7-10 less SB, 20-30 less Runs, 20-30 less RBIs and 20-30 points lower in BA. Take away his insane May and you’re talking Marlon Byrd territory. Sounds like sour grapes for the O’s pulling a fast one on your M’s, who took not only Jones, but Chris Tillman as well for a certified POS in Erik Bedard.

@Adam Jones’ Mother: First of all, don’t ever disrespect Dominic the God. He was the number 1 prospect in baseball for a reason and has shown flashes of what he can do. He’s probably faster than Jones and hopefully they let him run a bit more but overall I don’t think the numbers will be that far apart…….I Hope. FUCK ERIC BEDARD

@Tehol Beddict: I agree completely with the sentiment regarding Bedard. Wife bought me a Bedard jersey after the 2007 season and wasn’t even able to wear it once. I think I saw a homeless person wearing it after it was donated to Good Will.

Weird all this jonesing for consensus. Does reading the same checklist over and over give some people more confidence? I shout YAHOO! (the explication, not the site) to the lively contrariness of Tehol Beddict. Even where I disagree he is forcing me to reconsider and justify my own thinking. Question: I keep reading experts who are predicting that Evan Gattis struggles mightily this season. What causes your optimism? Thanks.

@Fanthed: El Oso Blanco is more than likely going to begin the year batting cleanup in a loaded lineup for one. I know he was having some trouble locating certain pitches near the end of last season, but he seems to love the big stage, has HUGE power, has no comp at catcher anymore, and frankly, I love his nickname. Thanks for the comment

Cage is by far the better actor I believe. I mean the fucking guy is an academy award winner. Amazing, when you see how shockingly horrible he has been over the past 10 years though he has a new movie coming out that its been said he’s good in. SLater is just fish food. The guy is done. He’s aged terrible somehow even though he generally looks the same (that doesn’t even make sense). Haven’t like anything of his since “Hard Rain.”

@kangaroo hops: ahhhh Capital hill. It’s booming there now and the place to be. Wish I owned a parking lot there. I wouldn’t be forced to slave away on posts only to be verbally abused, just so I can put food on the table for my chicken

I’m thankful of your post because it’s not in complete agreement with grey and the razzball world…so thanks for that. My question is do you have a list of players you feel are worth drafting in their slot…aka your value picks who could be huge? I saw you mentioned pujols who I feel is tremendously undervalued but do you have others?

Furthermore, how about pitching? Are you down against taking big premium starters?
I have the 4th pick in my draft and I am on golds chemist or kershaw. Completely agree with cano, it was like you took the words out of my mouth. Sorry for the rambling. Great write.

@Pwire: P-weeeeeeeeeeezy, you just made my day. Yes, I have a group of players that I would draft ahead of Adam Jones as well as a list of players I would target later. I was thinking about making it a post and I’ve written some names throughout this comment section like Braun, CarGo, Chris Davis. I like Kendrick and Profar as rockies second basemen as real late pick( don’t have time to look up spelling of his last name). I never take pitchers that early unless it’s a points league, but Kershaw is an absolute hog, Id try and get best hitter available at 4 and hope for Strausy or yu on bounce back or if that doesn’t work out wait a couple more rounds and start taking the young heavy upside arms.

Constructive criticism is essential for any writer, but damn, there’s been a lot of rampant, troll-like negativity from Razzball commenters the past couple weeks, and it seems to have reached its apex in this post. Maybe readers need to realize that:

1. It’s not essential for every Razzball writer to share a Borg-like mentality in their opinions. Divergent viewpoints are usually the mark of a well-balanced site.
2. If you don’t like a point being made, maybe, I dunno, respond with thoughts that contribute to the conversation instead of “you suck, you’re a hack.”
3. This is a free site! And the writers respond to almost every single reader question and comment! Be thankful we have writers who provide as much content and individual answers as they do.

And Tehol, haven’t heard back from you on my RCL. Should I take your no answer as your answer?

@Tehol Beddict: Tehol! Sent out a few emails recently and since I didn’t hear back from you, thought it was your way of saying, “go away, not interested.” But I’m persistent. It’s 100 this year (surely mere pennies for a successful model like yourself) and draft is Sunday March 23 at 5 pm eastern time.

Love to have you back and fill our league quota of owners who are also philanthropic, underwear model fantasy writers. But if you can’t make it (boo!) let me know so I can boot your team and find another owner.

There’s not much intelligent conversation to be had with a troll who posts under their crossdressing name when they don’t want to be recognized. ‘Youre wrong’ is their argument. But apparently that’s intelligent conversation. I’m guessing middle school age. Maybe Jr High if they’re from an area that’s behind the average educational trek.

@Wallpaper Paterson: that makes sense. I mean you use smaller escalators making it possible to keep longer or just have escalators based on performances. It all depends on how intricate you want to get my friend. the possibilities are endless

@Andrew A: your l lineup is filthy. probably go with Segura, Rizzo, and maybe carpenter to get the 2B eligibility though he playing 3rd this year. Love Adams and E Cabrera also. If Adams was everyday at first I place him above rizzo.

Quite honestly, one of the worst articles I’ve read on this site. I like how you trash Segura for having a shitty 2nd half and then you’re all over Dom Brown’s nuts even though he had a pretty bad 2nd half himself (Pre ASB: 23 HR Post ASB: 4 HR) Then you say Adam Jones in the top 10 scares you. Since 2010: at least 550 AB each year, HR’s on the rise (19, 25, 32, 33) and BA no less than .280. That sure is scary to me, scary good. Drafting a nice, solid guy like Cano or Jones won’t lose you your draft, you dolt. I’d rather draft consistent guys early then take my chances on high upside guys later in the draft.

@Big Willy G: Dolt you say? Its “Sir” Dominic Brown to you pop tart. I didn’t’ trash Segura, I’m just saying he may be getting drafted a tad high, which is my point on all these players. I get it, many people love Adam Jones. I just prefer other guys. And they are not JUST high upside guys. They are proven hogs who I like better than Jones? I Know the stats dude. thanks for inserting them. Real good chance jones has better numbers than Brown. Not disputing that. I never said you would LOSE your draft, I just said I wouldn’t draft them where they are ranked. thanks for reading

Haters gon’ hate Tehol. Pay no attention to them. They probably just made their way over here from ESPN because they got beat last year in most of their leagues by intelligent Razzball readers.

I’m glad you like Harper and Stanton a lot this year. I have them both in my keeper league.

In a 12-team single catcher league, how early would you go for Gattis as your catcher? 11th?

Having Doumit as his backup scares me a bit, but with how injury prone Heyward has been and how shittay the Uptons can be at times, I see Doumit or Gattis getting some scary time in the outfield, increasing their AB’s.

@Shake N Bacon: 11nth is probably fair. Again, Im an upside guy and he has 40 homer power though I doubt we will be quite that lucky. Batting cleanup in that lineup could lead to some major stat output and yes even with doumit they will probably get the white bear into the lineup somehow. I pray this great story continues. Thanks for reading and not bashing me hahahhaa

@Aubrey Plaza’s Pillow: Headquarters in in L.A. used to have desk there but they gave it to SKy once they figured out the only time I went down there was for Playboy parties and drug and alcohol binges

@Tehol Beddict: Don’t let the bastards drag you down, Tehol. Easier said than done, I know. It’s a weird species that we belong to — humans, I mean. And we get even weirder, often downright mean, with the anonymity that the ‘net provides. So strange and disturbing and cowardly.

Anyhow, I’m a fan of your writing, and my guess is you wouldn’t have gotten the chance to post once (let alone 19 times) if Grey and Rudy weren’t fans, also. Keep up the good work, Man.

@LA Sound Guy: thanks man. 19??? thats it? is that counting my football the past 2 seasons, and last seasons basketball???? after all that time, I’ve never been hammered like this hahahah. Maybe that means the site is growing.

Tehol you’re the man! Second can you do me a favor and check out my team I posted a few days ago in.the forum? It’s under line ups and kingofhiscastle is my poster name there. Let me know if you.Think.I have a solid contender. Thanks

Seems like you need some words of encouragement. I’m here from the Razzball Office of Company Morale to happily inform you that you’ve been nominated for the Pulitzer Prize in Fantasy Baseball Blogging. You’re up against Mathew Berry, Jay Wrong and an ape with a Commodore 64 named Jimbo. Jimbo has won three years in a row. Good luck.

@…: I JUST TOLD SOMEONE THAT THE OTHER DAY! I said Aaron Hill, if healthy ( A big if) could be just as good as Cano this season. I can’t even imagine how much abuse i would have taken for adding in that sweet little comment

Bold opinions, my friend. I approve. Also, a few years back I made myself a mix cd thatincluded that Ace of Base song, and many others like it. It was supposed to be my special mix that I enjoyed in private. Being that I was still in college, my ride was, shall we say, NOT impressive. Anyway, something went haywire and my cd player got stuck on “All That She Wants,” and it would just play on repeat. I couldn’t even shut the stereo off or turn the volume down. It was an interesting few weeks for sure.

@Tehol Beddict: At first it might seem like fun, but then it will get annoying. Then you might start hallucinating and smelling phantom smells, like peach schnapps or menthol cigarettes. Then you’ll begin to think about things in a new way. I dare say, a BETTER way. Razzball Nation will all be better for it.

@Tehol Beddict: @Tehol Beddict: Does that make you a Beddictator? I enjoy the posts, despite the lack of spreadsheets or algorithms. Fantasy baseball is fun, there’s no need for Adam Jones based flame wars.

TEHOL! Thanks for the write up. I enjoyed it. Owned Weiters for 3 years and every time I say I won’t own him again. One positive I’ve notice though, besides infallibility, is he always seems to hit a few hrs and put in some good numbers the last two weeks of the season.

I keep going back and forth on Machado. I want to see another season before I’m all for him. But I keep thinking “grab if I get the chance”. He’s going to be huge at some point.

And as a Cain owner last year, totally agree, stay away. Him and Lincecum = peas in a pod

Look forward to future posts man, good luck on draft day! I’m going for a $250 pro league this year after crushing every league I played last year, you and the Razz staff were a great help, keep it coming!

@Shawn of the livid: hahahhahahah. You’re right, there’s never been comments like this on this site. that could be either good or bad.

Owning Wieters is always worth it for that little flash he shows you every couple months and ends hot, making me POSITIVE he will realize his potential the following season, where I reach on him again.

Love Machado at SS especially. that will be major. Im sure Hardy is about done.

Adam Jones has improved his performance every year as a pro. Top 10? Maybe not at the conclusion of the year, but to suggest a player as consistent as Jones is a bad selection makes no sense.

Mike Minor was a top prospect on team known for developing pitchers. He had a top level 2nd half in 2012 and then backed it up with a full year of top 20 performance in 2013. I’d like to see the names of the 23-30 guys you’d select ahead of him.

@Mike: Im not saying he’s a bad selection. Im just saying I don’t think he’s a top 6 player. And none of the other guys I like are “nobodies.” Do you think Harper will have a bad year? Do you think CarGo will have a bad year? Beltre and Encarnacion should both have huge years. Argument to be made for hanley or even tulo’s bitch ass again. I mean Im simply saying I, PERSONALLY, would not take him with a top 6 pick. I just think he’s peaked. Obviously, I can’t always see into the future. maybe this year he hits over 3oo and hits 50 homers. I was just a tad surprised when I saw him ranked so high everywhere.

Also comparing Adam Jones to Domonic Brown, even given the variance in ADP is the quickest way to lose credibillity, unless you consider after hitting 23 hrs pre ASB and 4 Post ASB as a great indication of future success.

He was saying that he is weary of grabbing Jones so early because he’s a bit worried about him replicating last years number, he would rather get Cano for that high of a pick. That is called. An opinion.

He would rather have a different early pick, and go for a Dom Brown type guy and a young player with upside in the later rounds, as oppose to paying top dollar for a guy (Jones) that he has reservations about.

@Shawn of the livid: I don’t think he’s suggesting to select Cano considering the above paragraph he states the exact opposite. It’s an opinion and advice. That’s fine, but it’s without any Merit considering all historical data suggest its more likely for Jones to improve than regress. There is plenty of players that could be considered overvalued, it is my opinion to highlight Jones as one is a quick way to lose credibility.

@Shawn of the livid: I did say. I would rather have Cano than Adam Jones. That won’t be happening as I don’t want either of them really, at least in the top 6. thanks for breaking it down Shawn. Some of these peeps are confused. I m thinking of holding a seminar

@Mike: Im not comparing them really in that paragraph at all. Though I’ve said that I don’t think its that far of a reach to say Brown could have similar numbers. Plays in great ballpark, had nagging injuries much of second half which is probably (hopefully) a big reason of the numbers falling and simply has more natural ability then Jones. what do you think about that?

@Tehol Beddict: I think if Brown had more natural ability than Jones he’d have found a way to display it outside of 1 half a season and only 2 years younger. I like Brown, I’d take him as a 3rd or 4th OF. You want to say there’s a better player to take over Adam Jones in the first round, I might agree with you. Not because of Jones projections but because there’s possibly a similar player at a shallower position that is just as likely to maintain 30/100 #’s. That’d be a fair argument that it’s more likely to find an OF than say a 3b. The overall key to your top selections is to secure a player that is most likely to produce projections. I don’t agree that a player who’s improved each year at every level, who’s power and production has peaked at the age of 27 should be considered someone who’s a risk. It’s actually the exact opposite. He’s the safe pick.

Is there a viral video of you whipping puppies somewhere, Tehol? The hate is strong in this section. Nothing wrong with some constructive criticism from a fresh set of eyes. What use is there in reading the same opinions on the same players constantly?

Looking forward to opposing your eccentric fantasy leanings in the Champions League. At least I know that you won’t be drafting Adam Jones.

@Kid A: Why did you join my league A-pole? Join someones else’s. I don’t put up with hating ass crabs. It may be useless to you but some people enjoy it and I have fun writing it. If you can do better feel free to do so. If you don’t like my opinions thats cool too. I do appreciate you taking the time to comment on my post

@SwaggerJackers: F it I’ll kick a hole out and give u his spot. Did u miss reading about me in writers league? How I crushed everyone’s soul last season? U can also follow me in the rcl expert League with Grey and Rudy as well as the RCL CHAMPIONS League since you know I’m a champion and all. Based on a holes comments I’ll probably hardly have time for that one but still expect nothing less than top 3 finish

I kinda understand that some disagree and debate with T on things (it’s human nature) but with his proven track record (probably better than 95% or more of the posters on RB) is like arguing that Favre shouldn’t be in the Hall of fame or something …..really? Drive on T—Drive on!

Tehol, rhetoric aside, I gotta give you creds. Not one of your list was on my target list.
First place your league warrants respect.
Rudy has a tool that ranks managers skills last year. Your DRAFT ranked 175th. Your POST DRAFT MANAGEMENT ranked 32nd. During season advice might be even more valuable than draft!
Congrats on last season–well-played!

@2 Cups 1 Braun: wazzzzzzup: Give me Bautista, desmond, rizzo, Yuuu, bailey, Scherzer, Beltre and Hambone. tmepted to take matt adams in there somewhere. beltran with 3 is way too high for me especially in keeper league but he’s obviously one of best players here.