Sunday, March 16, 2014

They really prefer at the IVF clinic if you don’t take home
pregnancy tests. They want you to wait until you do your blood test about ten
days after implantation. Frankly, that is probably smart given the fact getting
a negative result is emotionally pretty tough, and that way you have the doctor
there to walk you through it. But, man, it is just so easy to cheat.

I had a bunch of tests, and decided to keep taking them as
the ten days progressed because what’s the harm? The day of my blood test, I
had to jump on a plane immediately after my doctor’s visit for a work trip, and
then wouldn’t be able to deal with the answer (whatever it was) with Chris. I
would be alone in a strange city. I started a couple of days after
implantation, and got a no. It is too early to tell anyways, right? Two days in
for goodness sake! Keep waiting. I did another a couple of days later, and got
another no. Doubt started to creep in. Maybe it didn’t take. I started to feel
discouraged, even though I knew it was still too early really. God, why did I
do that to myself? Allow for the word “no” to be on the table? I decided to put
those tests away and just wait. What a long week it was.

On Friday (my blood test at the doctor was scheduled for
that coming Monday) I got up early, and something niggled at my brain to give
it another try. To my shock, this one came up positive! Oh my goodness, the
answer was yes! I am pregnant!! I just couldn’t stop smiling and giggling!

I feel like kind of a weenie because this being my last
pregnancy, I thought that maybe I should do something clever to reveal to Chris
that our baby girl was indeed coming. What can I say? I am just not good at
keeping secrets like this from him. Rather than baking pink cupcakes, or
getting a clever “Big Brother” t-shirt to put on Aaron, I just ran into our
room where Chris was just waking up and blurted it out. I showed him the test
and just like me, he couldn’t stop smiling and laughing either. There is so
much hard work to be done with going through an IVF cycle, and to have it work
is such a miracle. We wanted this so badly.

We got to go through the whole weekend knowing that I was
pregnant and enjoy the news together. Aaron had a stomach bug that prevented us
from going out to celebrate, but it didn’t matter. The “yes” was all we needed
and wanted. And we smiled at the blessing we have of balancing multiple children.
One home sick, and one to celebrate coming to us when we needed her (and, as
always, our amazing one in spirit that is always there watching over us)!

I went Monday morning to do my blood test. Just like last
time, the nurse looked at me sideways and asked: “did you cheat?” and I fessed
up. She was excited. If you pass a home pregnancy test, those are pretty darned
accurate. All the same, it was a relief to get the phone call a little later
confirming that the blood results came out positive too. In fact, baby girl’s
hormone levels were so off the charts healthy that if they had implanted two
embryos, they would be concerned that both took. As it is, they think it is
just one big healthy girl!

I got that phone call as I was going through security at the
airport as I was beginning travel for my work trip. I was gone all week, and
then when I got home had to go back to the IVF clinic for a follow-up test.
They like to look to see if your hormones are continuing to elevate in a way
that would indicate a healthy pregnancy. Again, baby girl’s hormones are off
the charts amazing! Go get ‘em girl!!

Next up, I will have my last IVF appointment in a few weeks.
They will do an ultrasound where I will hopefully see her heartbeat for the
first time. They will give me my official due date. That is kind of a weird
thing to figure out since so much of the process happens in a lab rather than in
my body. I can’t use your run of the mill due date calculator to determine when
she is coming. My best guess is that I will be due in mid-November sometime.
That makes me (I think) maybe five weeks along? I am not sure.

We are just so excited, and are marveling at the fact that
we are finally having a girl after our two awesome boys. I just can’t wait. I
am trying to wrap my head around the fact that this is real…I am pregnant, and
remembering what I need to do to take care of myself. What a blessing. Thanks
God!

Saturday, March 15, 2014

I am late in getting this one out because in the wake of the
procedure it was clear to see that I needed to let go of perceived “have to’s”
on my to-do list so that I could relax, relax, relax. We had put so much into
this IVF process that it just flat out wasn’t worth the risk worrying about the
small stuff, and lord knows with a full time job and three year old, there are
so many things to do each day that some extreme prioritization was in order.

So, looking back, this time around getting to implantation
was much easier.

Last time, I had about a week in between the day when they
retrieved my eggs and created embryos to the day when they implanted Aaron into
my body. My system was a mess from all the hormones, and I had a bad reaction
to the drugs at the time of implantation and ended up spending a painful and
scary day in the hospital rather than the hour or so I should have been there.
It really sucked.

This time around, I have had several weeks to recover from
the retrieval procedure, and my body was in much better shape going into the
implantation. That made all the difference, and the day was pretty easy and
uneventful, thank you God!

I got up early, and immediately went for a massage. The name
of the game on implantation day is to do one thing: RELAX. Therefore, some of
the experts in this field recommend going for a massage before the procedure.
Not hard advice to follow, right? I went to my old prenatal yoga teacher whom I
love, and spent a peaceful hour having all the tension rubbed out of me. I went
home after, and quickly ran through the shower.

I had to go up to Denver for the procedure, and to avoid
stress we left in plenty of time to get there. On the outskirts of Denver, we
stopped for lunch, and then drove in the rest of the way. They took me right on
back, and prepped me and Chris, getting us dressed in hospital garb. Chris even
had to wear a face mask with his coveralls! I wore the standard lovely hospital
gown. They gave me valium to keep me super relaxed, though the dose was so
small, I really didn’t feel it. Fortunately as an afterthought, I grabbed my relaxation
cards that Chris and I have used when I was in labor with each of the boys. Each
of these cards have guided relaxation stuff on them, and because we practiced
with them like crazy when I was pregnant before, it didn’t take me long to get
into my zone and keep calm, which is hard to do. Being in the hospital just
before an exciting procedure like this can keep you pretty amped up!

Soon enough, they took us back, and got me situated. The
room was dark and quiet, and they had soothing classical music on. The
embryologist came back to review with us that they would be implanting one embryo into
my uterus, and confirmed again that it is a girl. Yay! And the coolest part was
that we got to see her! My kiddos have hands down the best first baby pictures!
Here she is at about 120 cells big:

I just couldn’t stop looking at her. The picture made it
feel so much more real!

Then, it was time to get going. The hard/painful part is
that you have to have a really full bladder when they do the procedure.
Something about that makes it easier for them to see what they are doing
through ultrasound. It sucks because the ultrasound tech is doing his part with
a hand-held device on your lower belly, and jamming it pretty hard into your
gut, right where your bladder is. And he wiggles it around to get better views
for the doctor as she is implanting the embryo. The ultrasound tech keeps it up
for the whole 20 minutes of the procedure too. I just wanted to pee so badly,
and obviously couldn’t. It makes it hard to keep breathing and relaxing! I got
through it, and was so excited to hear that the doctor succeeded in getting our
girl placed in the perfect spot in my uterus.

After that, they left the room and let Chris and I hang out
alone for about 20 minutes, to let baby girl get settled in her new home.

Once that step was complete, I could FINALLY go pee, which
was amazing. Whew! Then, it was time to get dressed and go home. Just like
that. Simple!

We took it easy going home, and as soon as I was back, I
curled up in bed and relaxed. I had two days of bed rest thereafter where I
caught up on a whole season of Downton Abbey I had been saving on the DVR.

Next step was to just take it easy until my pregnancy test
in about 10 days. Absolutely no heavy lifting. No overdoing it. Just take it
easy. I felt really nervous, and worried I would mess it up now that we had
come this far, so I really did take a load off. Now to wait to see if it took!
I am feeling hopeful.