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20 May 2012

Louis Crimp - Asshole of the Week

In many respects politics is like blood sports... With competitors gathering in various forums to size each other up, facing off over certain ideological points of view before trying to gain support by inflicting damage on their opponents.

The general cut and thrust of politics is often fascinating, especially when true intellectual gladiators engage in battle with razor like repertoire. But more often than not it's a cringe worthy experience, with combatants lacking intellectual strength and moral fibre.

After the dust settles, there's usually a winner and invariably a loser, which brings me to the topic of this post…

Their own worst enemies, the Act party has been down and out for the count ever since revelations that one of their combatants stole the identity of a dead baby. Intent on cutting their own throats... they are now derided throughout the land.

Last year, the ailing rightwing faction received a major thumbs down from the public and limped around pathetically trying to fend off further attacks that struck at their cold dead hearts, which has proven to be the cause of their downfall.

"He needs somebody else in there with him," cried their financial backer.

"Off with his head," roared the crowd. But Shonkiest Maximus falters, and fails to adhere to the combatants code of conduct. A dishonourable political death is to be avoided at all cost and calls of outrage for an end to the embarrassing spectacle rang out from all sides.