Friday, March 4, 2011

The Schwartz's vs The Tantrum

Sarah throws tantrums. I know I've mentioned it before. And I'm sure you guys don't believe me because for the most part all you see is Sarah's smiling happy face. But today was almost Sarah's last day. We about had a "I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it" moment.

So here's what happened. (And yes, this is mostly because I need to vent, however, I don't want my journal here to seem like it's all happy and fun times or else I might be cajoled into having another...no we need to remember these moments 1. because they too shall pass and 2. because reading stuff like this is great birth control for those of us who need it.)

I put Sarah in her high chair for breakfast and gave her a sippy cup while I started cutting up her grapes. Usually I give her some Kix to tide her over, but I've been worrying that I overfeed her at meal times so I didn't want to give her junk before breakfast. She started screaming and pitched her sippy cup across the room. So I picked it up, I looked and her and said "Sarah, you need to be patient, I'm almost done. And you do not throw things." She gave me a dirty look and then screeched. I shot her a stern look right back and put her sippy cup on her tray. She pitched it again. So I took her out of her chair and put her in her room so she could calm down while I finished putting the apple sauce on her Eggo and getting everything cut up and ready for her. She then proceeded to FLIP OUT. I'm talking face down beating her hands and legs, crying and screaming until she sounded horse. She crawled into the kitchen and continued so I could witness. Then she pulled herself up on my leg and started hitting me. I took her hands and very calmly said "we don't hit". Which just made her scream louder. Now breakfast is all ready and on the plate good to go, but I can't give it to her now or else she'll think she won. She's got to calm down before I can give her breakfast.

So I walk away from her, I went into her room and got a bib out and ready and sat on her floor to wait for her so we could talk. She crawls in after me still screaming and crying and wailing and acting foolish. So I tell her, "Sarah look at mommy, you need to calm down" in a very nice soothing tone. That just pissed her off even more. So she starts to waller on me. So I pick her up and put her on my lap thinking she's ready to be held to calm down. Nope, she starts kicking and pushing against me. So I set her down again and walked to the living room. She followed me in there still screaming (I don't know how she didn't lose her voice from all this.) It's now been 20 min since the tantrum started. I called Chris at work, not that he could do anything, I just feel the need to share sometimes. She wants to be picked up so, I do, and I remind her again that she needs to calm down and that's when she goes nuts slapping and hitting me in the face and pulling on me. Oh, yes, this is when she almost died. So I started singing "I Want to be Kind to Everyone" and "I'm Trying to be like Jesus" because we both need a little reminder. She's still flailing so I pin her arms in so neither of us get hurt (I really need to trim her nails) and I go and get her paci and her lion lovey. She takes them both and begins to calm down and just whimper. (Tantrum time: 30 min) Since she was calm now we sat on the couch and I rubbed her back and explained in a very nice voice, "Sarah, when you scream and yell and cry like that, you aren't telling Mommy what you want. In fact, you are just delaying what you want. I know that you are hungry, and mommy was working to get it ready for you, so there was no need to scream and yell like that. Sometimes, you have to be patient." And she little out a little stutter breath and relaxed into me. So we sat there for 5 minutes cuddling to make sure was past the tantrum and wouldn't associate it with her breakfast. Then we went into the kitchen and she traded me the paci and lion for her plate.

Boy I can't wait until she's 2! I can tell this is going to be AWESOME.

I guess since I lack patience, Heavenly Father with his infinite wisdom and sense of humor has decided to teach it to me by giving me a child that doesn't have any either. But I'm very proud of myself for not getting upset or yelling. I mean, I got screamed at and hit for 30 minutes straight and I managed to keep calm and carry on.

Side note, I sing to Sarah a lot. Pretty much all day. However, I sing those two songs when she's getting upset and I can feel myself getting upset. So now, if I'm holding her and I just randomly sing them because they're good songs, she'll actually put her hand over my mouth.