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"Life, is like a grapefruit. [...]it's orangey-yellow and dimpled on the outside, wet and squidgy in the middle. It's got pips inside, too. Oh, and some people have half a one for breakfast." - Douglas Adams (From the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

"Christianity: Believing that a Jewish zombie who was his own father sent himself down to die for the sins of mankind that were started by an animated dirt-man and rib-woman who were tricked into eating magic fruit by a talking snake." -Anonmyous