There's always been this thing that people do that I never quite understood or noticed enough to think about. Planes are the one circumstance where you are guaranteed to witness it. And I happened to be on a plane today. And happened to witness it three times. It happens in other situations - usually ones where you want something, like a seat upgrade, but coming out and asking for it would make you seem entitled or high maintenance or whatever. So instead, you suddenly have a medical condition.

I'm calling it, for lack of a better word, "white lie diseases." It's the people that suddenly have claustrophobia, general anxiety disorder, panic attack / disorder, fear of flying / heights, chronic hyperventilation, motion sickness, back problems, leg problems, left-side-problems. I'm not saying that 100% of these people have made these problems up. I'm just saying, it seems like I encounter a handful of people during normal life who have some disorder or another but the second I'm on a plane, the entire world has it. It also seems like in day to day life, I don't know about your problem.

Today on the plane, the guy sitting next to me in the center seat goes: "Hey. I'm Tom. Nice to meet you." small talk small talk small talk "Oh yeah I have claustrophobia. The center seat always makes me so anxious and claustrophobic. No worries though – I'll be fine."

While getting on the plane, I overheard, "Do you want to trade my window for you aisle seat? I have [word I've never heard and belongs on House] and I don't want to disturb my neighbors when I get up and stretch every hour."

The third, not so well thought out, "Can I be moved to a seat towards the front? I have an acrophobia which sometimes brings on my motion sickness. I took dramamine but I'd still like to be close to the bathroom." (What I hope was the) answer: "No, you may not vomit in it the first class toilets, but row 35 is totally open."

What is it about things like flying that bring complete strangers to suddenly come out and announce their whatever issues to complete strangers? Or, what is it about shitty situations that everyone is in that makes you need to stand out - even if it's with some crazy chronic condition? And why are they crazy technical disease names? And just, why? The people I know who actually have panic disorders or depression or whatever, don't tell me about it until I'm close with them. Until trust has been built. They don't announce it or use it as a preposition in a small-talk sentence. They keep it a secret and hide it as much as they can. They don't use it to get a better seat or an upgraded meal.

No one enjoys flying you fucktards. I don't like the center seat. Not because I'm claustrophobic. Not because I looked up words in the dictionary. Because I have to sit in a itty-bitty seat in between two complete strangers for 2-16 hours at a time and I can't move. And that's fine.

But I can't even respond to center-guy's small talk because fuck! He has claustrophobia. And I could never relate to that. And if I were to relate my mere hatred of the center seat to his disease, that would be diminishing his disease. And now, am I a terrible person for not trading seats with this poor claustrophobic man who drew the short stick and has the center seat? Because I sure feel fucking guilty.

If you were to tell me "Hey - do you want to trade seats? I hate the center seat." I would have enormous respect for you. And, if you were nice and I was in a good mood, I might take you up on that enticing offer because I'm fucking tiny and if there is one place being tiny is a major benefit, it's on planes. Center seat vs window seat vs aisle seat makes a minor difference in comfort level for me. For my poor brother, who now clocks in at motherfucking 6'4, aisle vs center vs window is a big deal for him. He pays for the emergency row upgrade though. Because being tall isn't a disease and no one feels bad for you. You can't announce that you are 6'4 and get enough pity for a seat swap.

My dad always told me (usually when I was being obnoxious), "the only difference between an ordeal and an adventure is your attitude." Change your attitude, claustrophobic center seat guy. Don't try to change my attitude of you via pity and guilt.

My dad always told me (usually when I was being obnoxious), "the only difference between an ordeal and an adventure is your attitude." Change your attitude, claustrophobic center seat guy. Don't try to change my attitude of you via pity and guilt.

what great fatherly advice, I love it! I've long since given up on any type of unpaid upgrades on planes. I think they've managed to monetize everything. I wouldn't be surprised to see a button you push in the bathroom (after using apple pay) to be dispensed a softer 3 ply toilet paper.

So I always fly Virgin. They treat me well, it's usually on time, I like having the map to follow the flight, they somehow found a way that I don't get the pressure in my ears when I fly them, I get free fucking beer. All of these are incredible things that make me loyal to that airline. But one of the best things is when you buy your ticket, you get to pick your seat right them and there. I don't know how common that is, but it's a nice feature.

The trick is that I always pick the aisle seat of an empty row.

Why? Because then, when other people later pick their seats (I usually buy months in advance), no one wants to pick those other two seats. It's inconvenient, and usually there are other rows still available. This has lead to the most wonderful thing:

I haven't flown much, so I haven't personally experienced this. But yeah, I'd hazard a guess that this is just down to people trying to be less awkward or seem less like a unnecessary inconvenience.

I could imagine a person's thought process going something like this:

"Damn, I'm stuck in the centre seat. I hate being here. I wonder if that person next to me will swap? But I can't just ask them, that doesn't sound right. What if they think I'm selfish or being an asshole. Hey, I know! If I say I have X problem, that means it's not so much my fault."

Basically, like you say, I think they're trying to shift the burden of the personal desires into the realm of things they can't control. But my description probably says more about me than anybody else.

I've flown about twenty times in the last three years, and I haven't overheard anything like this. Lucky me, because I always fly Southwest, so if it did happen, there aren't actual assigned seats, and therefore the potential for volunteering to be "center guy" is more imminent. Also, I've only had 3 hour domestic flights, so I don't even deserve much of a say in the matter.

Center seat on a long flight is the worst thing anyone could experience. A quick browse of the googles later, I think I like this article the most.

That's a pretty interesting article. "Etrigan" posted an informative comment, an analysis of profit margins in the industry.

Two firms—Airbus and Boeing—provide the majority of the planes...

True for larger aircraft, though a "duopoly" of two similar providers is far closer to healthy competition than it is to a single provider. And the market is moving in a good direction. Delta already flies Embraer jets on their lucrative northeast shuttle routes, and Bombardier and China’s Comac are entering the market.