Related To: An imposing roster of bars whose subtle names celebrate binge drinking (The Stumble Inn, Down the Hatch, the imminent Three Sheets) or poke fun at the comedy goldmine that is crippling alcoholism (Off the Wagon).

Frat Stats: 28 flat-screen TVs. Dollar drafts.

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Billy Hurricanes (25 Avenue B)

Replaced: Forgettable rock club Rehab.

Insult to Injury: Rehab sat on sacred ground once occupied by legendary after hours pit Save the Robots, a club too fun to be remembered clearly by patrons.

So, which newcomer will likely take the crown of most obnoxious East Village drinkery? Given the history of its address (and its location in the relatively unspoiled wilds of Alphabet City), you'd expect Billy Hurricanes to come out ahead. But in a tip of the backwards baseball hat to the neighborhood's history, rock promoter Marc Shapiro will operate a basement "Bourbon. Beer. Rock" speakeasy that will presumably feature live music under the same roof.

The 13th Step is part of a massive evil empire whose leaders, unlike Billy Hurricanes', haven't even feigned interest in preserving neighborhood character. But the locals have already taken the all-important first step and admitted they have a problem with (decreasingly) out of place new arrivals.