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I've had problems selecting first since about 5 months after I bought the car (a year and a half ago with 84,000k on it)

I found it would go into first gear if i hadn't come to a complete stop, or if I selected second then straight up into first. I have tried all sorts of things, building revs up a little then trying to select gear etc...everything I've read on BM forums.

I read changing the gearbox oil can help so i changed the oil for ..hmm what was it now..Redline MTL. Made no difference.

It has gradually gotten worse and now a slight grind as I change from first to second. If i really put my foot down and change high up the revs into second it's fine?! Very strange

Also recently Ihave found if i'm sat there on idle and I press the clutch pedal in there is a whine/squeal, not too loud, until I release the pedal again and the sound stops. Clutch release bearing or something??

Local mechanic suggested dual mass flywheel was on it's way out but I have no vibration issues

If you've checked the hydraulics (fluid level, any leaks in the clutch master or slave cylinders ....) and that turned up nothing, probably then yes the squeal you're hearing is the release (throw-out) bearing. And as you've probably surmised, if you're going to change that out, might as well do everything else .... rear main seal, pilot bearing, possibly flywheel, clutch kit, guide tube, release fork pivot pin & spring clip... and anything else further down the driveline "while you're there" because you'll have the shaft disconnected and just begging to replace all the shift bushings, trans mounts, flex disc, centering sleeve, center support bearing, and so on and so forth.... How many km on your car or at least on the current clutch and flywheel?

the car has 103,000 miles on now, and as far as i'm aware its never had a second clutch or flywheel fitted so on the original. Although i've read they can go well for 150,000miles if driven properly. I know the previous owner was female...not being sexist but women are said to ride clutches more than men.

It' sticking in gear a little too, when I go to shift out of first at junctions into neutral, it feels like it clunks back out.