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Today is World Goth Day, so to celebrate here’s a gallery of Goth women from around the world. I think these are all incredibly beautiful, and I hope you too will weep tears of joy and heartache as you behold their pulchritudinousness.

Today is one of the most important, least understood, and most underrated holidays all year here in America. There are several reasons for that, but first and foremost, as usual, is that most Americans are ignorant.

As any good citizen of the Federation knows, today is First Contact Day. First Contact Day is celebrated to honor both the breaking of the warp barrier by Zefram Cochran in his ship called the Phoenix and first open contact between Humans and Vulcans on April 5, 2063 in Bozeman, Montana.

Idiot America is fond of saying on social media these days that “liberalism,” by now a sort of catchphrase for Democrats, feminists, progressives, environmentalists, gay rights supporters and the like, is a mental illness.

Even on Christmas I have to hear dumbasses say get over it get over it get over it in regard to Donald Trump’s presidential “victory” because hey that’s just how democracy works, right? Here’s why my getting over it seems unlikely even on so joyous a day as this…