Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Waving the Red Flag: My Bachelorette recap

I’m a little torn about whether or not to commit to
recapping The Bachelorette this season.

The thing is, I’m not particularly drawn to Emily. I mean,
she’s a fine little spitfire Dolly Parton/Jessica Simpson hybrid, with a heart
as big as a country jamboree (or whatever Southerners say about people’s
hearts) and a love for her daughter as fierce as a mama hen cornered by a fox
in a barn (ditto). But she’s not really my kinda gal (in fact, if you could
scientifically triangulate my exact opposite human being, I’m pretty sure it
would look a lot like Emily.)

That being said, I root for her and can’t help but to wonder
if she is just particularly blind to GIANT RED FLAGS being waved in her face or if all us women are
similarly afflicted. Because man oh man, is she missing a lot of warning signs.

Anyway, instead of recapping last night’s episode, I thought
I’d give a State of the Show report on the remaining guys.

Oh wait! First a few thoughts on one of the rejects.

Was that Alessandro dude creepy and weird, or what?

At some point, I got the sneaking suspicion that Alessandro had just
stumbled off the street and actually had no idea he was on a reality show,
kinda like THIS guy.

Okay, now onto the actual bachelors.

Alejandro

Pluses: Cheekbones that just won’t quit.

Minuses: No discernible personality

GIANT RED FLAG: None yet. But the amount of hair gel he
uses can’t be a good sign.

Arie Pluses: Totally crush-worthy.

Minuses: I have a hunch that his early confidence could
collapse into a ball of whimpering craven neediness if Emily stops giving him
special treatment.

GIANT RED FLAG: In his case, it’s a checkered flag (see what
I did there?): Can Emily get past the whole race car driver déjà vu?

Sociable

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About Me

Hi, I'm Max Weiss. You might know me from WBAL radio or WBAL TV. Maybe you know me from my days on Max and Mike on the Movies or as managing editor of Baltimore magazine. Maybe you don't know me at all—and prefer it that way. This blog will be sort of a clearing house of movie reviews, pop culture musings, deep thoughts, and reality TV recaps. Oh and pictures of my dog. Lots and lots of pictures of my dog.