Author
Topic: Shirley (Read 1562 times)

Saturday, I took my kids (teens) to a mall in a neighboring town. They were wearing me out wanting to stop in so many stores, etc.. I gave them some money and found myself a comfy seat on a sofa in a sitting area of the mall. A lady across from me asked me my name. I responded and she told me her name was Shirley. She started telling me her age (64) and that she had never been married or had children. She said she gets very lonely, so she comes to the mall to talk to people. She asked if those had been my children and where my husband was. I told her that he had died. (I'm finally to the point where I can say that now without crying). She told me she was so sorry to hear that, but I must understand being lonely then. I told her I did indeed.

As we talked, I felt the worst fear building up inside me. Is this what I might have to look forward to someday when the kids are gone? Will I be so lonely I need to go sit at the mall and hope to make conversation? It made me feel suddenly really down.

Yet as more people came and went, Shirley talked with each one. A lovely dynamic developed where suddenly all of us sitting in that seating area were talking with each other. I imagine that had it not been for Shirley, we would have likely have all been sitting in silence, looking at our phones, etc.. She set a tone for each of us to connect to each other.

I shook her hand when the kids returned, and told her how much I enjoyed meeting and talking with her. As I walked away, I didn't feel quite as scared of the potential of being so lonely forever. I won't forget the effort Shirley makes to stay connected and the positive effect she had on me and others that day.

It is amazing sometimes that a conversation with a complete stranger can change your day or even you outlook at lifeMaybe the fact you have nothing to hide or past feelings to bring up that make the conversation so freeing thanks for your story about Shirley

Donswife, It is so true that you never know when a conversation with someone you don't know can help you or them. A couple of weeks ago, I went out with some female friends to a local winery to see a live music presentation. This was a big step for me. The musician we heard was really terrific and I actually really enjoyed the evening out. After the show, I got up my nerve and asked him the name of a song he performed I had never heard before. We talked briefly and I thanked him for doing such a terrific version of a song that had been special to my husband and I, explaining he had died. I saw him again the next week at another local place where we had gone again for the live music. I asked him for clarification of his upcoming performances. He remembered me from the week before and was so nice.

This weekend he posted a song he was adding to his set on his Facebook page. It was "Feelin' Good Again" by Robert Earl Kean. It struck me how the song words mirrored how I felt that night listening to his music, as the song lyric says "It feels so good feelin' good again". At the risk of sounding like a stalker, I sent him a message telling him how that song was exactly how I felt that night after feeling so sad most of the time.

He wrote me back the most beautiful reply, sharing that he has been going through a really rough time personally as well and performing his music he loves has been keeping him going. To know that he'd made me feel good that night meant so much to him. He thanked me for taking the time to write to him and let him know the impact he made that night as he really needed the validation of his worth right now. I was so glad I took the risk of sending the message.

I hope to meet Shirley sometime. My kids both tell me that I have full conversations with people I don't even know. Sometimes it's just those few extra minutes of conversation with someone that make such a difference in our lives!