I’ve been entertaining myself lately with songs that leap to mind during certain portions of Dragon Age: Inquisition even though they either contain too many anachronisms or just really don’t fit. To that end, I thought I’d share a few of my head canon songs for entertainment purposes.

First, there’s Van Canto’s cover of Primo Victoria. It has to be the cover because there are no electric guitars in Thedas. There aren’t any Nazis, either, but at least we can get the music right if not the lyrics perfect. If you can ignore the date of the D-Day invasion and hear “Nazi lines” and “Venatori” you might get a sense for why this one pops into my head.

Every time I’m getting ready to go to the Arbor Wilds and throw the weight of my epic army against the forces of evil (as in the Red Templars) I start hearing “run diggy dun dun dun diggy dun” in my head. My soldiers are doing the instrumentation and then…then…then Cullen starts belting it out in an epic stance atop a rise, sword pointing the way.

If I were any sort of video editor I’d make this bad boy. Maybe one day I’ll learn (and get Inquisition on the PC so I can record appropriate footage). Until then I’ll just add the song and you can imagine marching across Orlais, grimly determined to make the Andraste proud of the forces her name inspired even if the Inquisitor keeps denying she had anything to do with it.

We've been training for years
Now we're ready to strike
As the great operation begins
We're the first wave on shore
We're the first ones to fall
Yet soldiers have fallen before

In the dawn they will pay
With their lives as the price
History's written today

In this burning inferno
Know that nothing remains
As our forces advance on the beach

Aiming for heaven though serving in hell
Victory is ours: their forces will fall

Through the gates of hell
As we make our way to heaven
Through Venatori lines
Primo Victoria!

If you’ve had enough of war (and who hasn’t by the end of Inquisition?) head on over to join Team Optimism and contemplate Prince and the New Power Generation’s take on Solas saying “screw you” to the pantheon and riding off into the sunset with Lavellan…on a hart, because he ain’t riding no bog unicorn. The lyrics really sell 7 for me as a cheery love anthem for the pair.

All 7 and we'll watch them fall
They stand in the way of love
And we will smoke them all
With an intellect and a savior-faire
No one in the whole universe
Will ever compare
I am yours now and you are mine
And together we'll love through
All space and time, so don't cry
One day all 7 will die
[Repeat]

And I saw an angel come down unto me
In her hand she holds the very key
Words of compassion, words of peace
And in the distance an army's marching feet
But behold! We will watch them fall
And we lay down on the sand of the sea
And before us animosity will stand and decree
That we speak not of love only blasphemy
And in the distance, 6 others will curse me
But that's all right, that's all right
For I will watch them fall
[Chorus etc.]

Now, seriously, does this not sound like some confused elvhen desire to return to immortality but without the strife the rest of the gods caused? There’s reference to the Chantry and the Inquisition, a golden city, Mythal, and everything. Err, FleMythal’s the angel, in case you didn’t get that. (Ignore that “plague and a river of blood” thing near the end. That’s a…a veiled reference to creeper!Anders and, um, Kirkwall’s masses of blood mages that we just don’t clearly understand. Yeah, Anders, that’s it. It absolutely can’t have anything to do with Solas.)

Every time someone posts that they’re waving their Team Optimism flag I’m going to start humming this song. Considering how much time I spend on the Solas thread at the BSN debating his past, his motivations, and his plans (as well as just about every other aspect of lore tying the elvhen and the rest of the Dragon Age universe together), it’s a damned good thing I like it. Just wait until I do a Team Pessimism post for Where Did Our Love Go? It’ll be Supreme(s).

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There will be stories from Mass Effect 1 through 3, Dragon Age: Origins, DA: Awakenings, DA2, Dragon Age: Inquisition, and finally Star Wars: The Old Republic. Most are high melodrama and all of my stories feature female heroines of whatever stripe except the occasional Kaidan, Anders, or Cullen AU story.