Teasing is one of the most misunderstood concepts in men’s dating advice. Some men avoid teasing women because they don’t want to be ‘mean’. Others avoid teasing because it’s ‘not natural’.

Despite what most people think, teasing is one of the most fundamental skills for attracting women. Teasing can make the difference between a platonic interaction that ends in, “it was nice meeting you,” and a sexually charged interaction that ends in a bedroom.

In this article, you’re going to learn exactly why mastering the art of teasing women will take your game to the next level. Then, you’re going to learn a step-by-step system for teasing the women you meet (in a way that instantly sparks attraction).

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Why Teasing Works

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We communicate with women on two levels: logical and emotional. Once, I approached a beautiful woman and said, “You’re absolutely hideous.” Logically, you’d think I was being an asshole - and that she should slap me.

But that’s not what happened. After I told this stunning girl she was hideous, she burst out in laughter and said,

Who are you? I like you.

And, five minutes later, she asked for my number.

Logically, I was being a dick. But emotionally, I was showing this girl that I don’t give a fuck. A beautiful woman gets hit on by thirsty guys every day. But she rarely meets a guy who’s willing to challenge her, who’s willing to reject her. And when you tease a girl, the underlying emotional communication is that you don’t care if she leaves or stays.

Most men try to attract women logically. These guys shower women with positive attention, (I.E. “You’re so beautiful.”)

She already knows she beautiful. She already knows most guys she meets want to fuck her. There’s nothing exciting about meeting yet another guy who’s willing to bend over backwards to get with her.

Actors learn how to completely transform their personality, and they do so without sacrificing authenticity. Expanding your personality to become comfortable with teasing takes practice, but saying it’s ‘just not you’ is nothing more than an excuse.

Anything you do that expands your personality is going to make you feel uncomfortable at first. For example, if you’ve never approached a woman before, you’re going to experience intense anxiety on your first attempt .

Does that mean approaching women is ‘unnatural’ to your personality? Of course not, approaching women is just out of your comfort zone.

If you don’t try things that are uncomfortable, you’re not going to grow – that’s the inescapable nature of change. On your first few attempts, teasing a girl might make her less attracted to you. But if you push through the initial awkwardness, you’ll be able to use teasing to effortlessly spark attraction in women.

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How to Tease A Girl

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We’ve established how teasing works, but how do you actually do it? In this section, I’m going to teach you a simple, yet effective way to tease a girl.

The initial moments of conversation with a girl can feel like an interview. You can inject some teasing here to add emotional charge to this phase of an interaction.

Whenever a girl answers a basic question, tease by saying, “You would be…”

For example:

You: Where are you from?

Her: Texas.

You: You would be from Texas…

If you do this in a playfully challenging tone, she’ll either laugh or she’ll ask, “What do you mean by that?” (To which you can respond, “It’s not important, anyway…”)

If your delivery is off, she may become a bit confrontational and say something like, “What’s wrong with Texas?”.

If this happens, it’s okay. Just respond with something to the effect of, “Oh, I didn’t mean that as an insult. I think Texas is cool. What part are you from?”

You can use this template for pretty much anything she says. If she says she’s a nurse, “You would be a nurse.” If she says she likes to hike, “You would like hiking.”

A tease doesn’t have to make perfect logical sense to have an emotional impact. The power in the statement is that it sounds challenging without being insulting. Deliver it well, and this one line can spark attraction in what would otherwise have been a platonic interaction.

There’s a million other ways to tease a girl.

You could tell a beautiful girl, “Maybe you hear this a lot, but you could be a model.”

She’ll say, “Thanks!”

Then you can reply, “Yeah, you have such great hands, you should definitely consider becoming a hand model.”

If a girl says she’s from Ohio, you could respond by saying, “That’s cool. You’re the most interesting person I’ve met from Ohio all night.”

You don’t need to memorize a long list of lines. It’s better to practice teasing with a template like, “You would be…” because once you get comfortable with that line, you’ll develop an intuitive understanding for teasing. Then, you’ll be able to come up with your own teases automatically while you’re interacting with women.

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Conclusion: How to Tease A Girl And Spark Sexual Attraction

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Teasing gives an interaction tension. That tension is what excites a girl to start pursuing you.

To be fair, there are other ways to create tension in an interaction:

You can hold strong eye contact.

You can disagree with something she says.

You can use disqualifiers.

Use all the above tools to create tension in your interactions. If you currently don’t use any of the above techniques, start by learning to hold strong eye contact (because it’s the single most powerful technique for building attraction).

Once you get comfortable holding strong eye contact, experiment with teasing. Once teasing become automatic, practice using disqualifiers.

Teasing may feel unnatural. It may seem mean. But if you put a genuine effort into learning how to tease a girl, you’ll find that teasing is a fun way to create sexual tension.

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You can follow me on Snapchat to see daily infield footage (approaches, pulls, etc. Guys often message me saying that seeing my snaps motivated them to take action. Username: AveryGHayden

Am I the only one who thinks teasing is more natural than platonic, nice interaction? After all that what we do automatically when we are little and being nice is just what somebody else tells you to be like

That's a great point.
We learn to stop teasing through social conditioning (gotta stay in line at school/work. Then, we forget that teasing is natural and we actually resist learning it by making the excuse (that's not a natural part of my personality, I don't want to be fake).

Male friends tease each other, people tease their siblings and children. I think blue pill men have been propagandized into believing that teasing is inherently malevolent when it isn’t. You have to take it on a case by case basis.

Teasing/negging appropriately should be one of the core foundations of your game toolbox. It forces the gal to qualify herself and chase you.

Here’s a practical example. I eat lunch quite often at the same place. One of the waitstaff is a sexy gal, obviously knows she’s sexy and works it to her benefit. She will wear strange hats and odd makeup at times. I teased her about not getting the memo for stupid hats or some shit, just a random passing comment I made to amuse myself. Over a year later after I said that I ran into said young lady at a bar. Chatted her up and she told me how she literally went to everyone else that worked there to make sure she her hat wasnt actually silly. A year later she remembers a tease/neg on a minor thing enough to go on & on about it. That’s the power of a solid tease or appropriate neg.

girls are literally told DAILY by everyone that they're beautiful, even if theyre not some loser will say it in hopes to having her warm up to him... unless you're sculpted from granite yourself and SHE approaches you there is a very small chance telling her the same thing 999/1000 other guys say will make you stand out.

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its boring as hell to have people just aimlessly and thoughtlessly agree with you, people like that.. male or female.. are disposable.

I remember going to a bar around closing time and catching this couple on a date. He was agreeing with everything she said and, foolishly, introduced me into the conversation where I abruptly disagreed with her (something about feminism). She slipped her number under my arm as we were leaving the bar and later became a fun plate. I also remember saying to her on a date much later that "feminism is poison".. she was pretty hardcore feminist but still went home with me.

How much you can offend her is also dependent on how invested she is in you. After she's hooked you can get away with a lot of shit.

The problem here is that in order to tease well, you need to tease them on something they're not overly insecure about.

If you go up to an HB5 and call them hideous, they're obviously not going to receive it well, regardless of your SMV. Sure, maybe the line CAN work if used on an HB8/9, and your SMV is decently high. But, your story is completely anecdotal, obviously. Most women are going to dismiss you as being some douche who just finished reading How to pick up CHICKS 101; rule 1 - insult her.

I've had a VERY mixed number reactions on teasing girls about their Arts degrees. Different girls are going to be different levels of insecure on certain things. Acting like a fucking spaz, and just straight up insulting a girl out of nowhere is no way to tease a girl.

Scenario

Me: "What are you studying?"

Girl: "Classical Literature!"

Now, I could act like a spaz and say some shit like

"Arts major? Yikes. Good luck getting a job."

or

"Classical literature? That's awesome! How well do the skills transfer to making cappucinos?"

Obviously the second one is less spazzy, but you still don't know how she'll react to it. You need to gauge her insecurity towards what you're going to tease her about.

Scenario - Too Insecure

Me: "What are you studying?"

Girl: "Classical Literature!"

Me: "AnARTSstudent, eh?"

Girl: "Umm.. YEAH, why?" (Defensive tone)

Back off and humour

Me: "Oh, I've just dated an arts student before.Hewasn't the most generous lover..."

Me: "However, I'm quite sure my mind can be changed."

Scenario - Tease Her

Me: "What are you studying?"

Girl: "Classical Literature!"

Me: "AnARTSstudent, eh?"

Girl: "Yeah, I know.. But I really love what I'm studying"

Me: "No, that's actually really awesome! Do you know how well the skills transfer towards making cappucinos?"

Putting the success of the interaction on the risk of a left-field insult is just stupid, and a waste of time. It "paying off" doesn't prove anything. All it proves is that you were lucky enough to use it on someone who didn't take offense to what you said, and found you attractive enough to keep talking.

Exactly. Too often where the PUA (and their followers on this subreddit who think they can just snag a couple lines to pick up chicks with) go wrong is they rely to much on formulas. They want exactly one line to get all the girls, one method to make the hotties fall for them.

Wake up. That won't happen. Conversation is an ebb and a flow. It's all about gauging the other comfort and pushing when you need to spark things. If you force matters, you're just going to break it.

These virgins need to learn to hold a conversation while cultivating desire. That's what will spark things. Not simple formulaic methods. In-field practice works so well because it makes you better at these conversational conventions.

Any advice for this kind of approach in a foreign country, say Thailand? I've been here for the last 12 months and have been occupied with a gf. I'm considering doing some approaches/social game to loosen up, but I've found conversational flexibility generally goes out of the window when there is a serious language barrier involved. Strong keno and leading still gets me through.

Man, you've asked the wrong guy. Foreign language barriers are a weak spot of mine I can get laid anyday of the week in my country. I have no problem opening up girls and my conversational skill is on point.

But when it comes to speaking in a foreign language, I get intense social anxiety. It's not cool at all. It's something im working on by taking language classes focusing on interpersonal communication.

So I can't help you when it comes to foreign affairs, but let me know if you find anything. Id like to know too

I watched the video, and you did a good job so keep on practicing. However, i'd probably work on your posture/body language a bit more. Your shoulders and back are very slumped, and when you're walking you don't really walk with a purpose or like you're in control. But keep up the good work dude

This is especially so for women. Regarding the date, a man will tell you what he did while a woman will tell you how she felt. Tying into the teasing point, it really doesn't matter what you actually say as long as you're outcome independent and your verbal and nonverbal cues are congruent.

Just a friendly reminder that as TRP has been quarantined, we have developed backup sites: https://www.trp.red and our full post archive (and future forums) https://www.forums.red/i/TheRedPill. Don't forget to register on TRP.RED and reserve your reddit name today. Forums.Red is currently locked but will be opened soon.

Girls do the same thing to us and it’s normally a sign they like us. Sometimes teasing and shit tests can be hard to separate (especially when they are insults) but the key is to learn to tease back and not get defensive. In fact you should welcome it when a girl starts it as you can learn through responding what works and what doesn’t.

To me teasing is key because women communicate covertly whereas men communicate overtly. Being covert allows one to enter the frame of the woman, where sexual attraction is present but not exposed. Its good for plausible deniability too

As a 40 plus year old male...I have learned that teasing was effective 20 years ago when women weren't so fucking angry. I had a girl with her arm around me last week who had just graduated college. I jokingly asked if she graduated from, "Gordon Phillips beauty school" and she freaked the fuck out. Another recent grad who was at the bar, I had a playful banter with and teased her saying she looked like "My Neighbors Hot Nanny" she also got majorly butt hurt. Tread lightly. YMMV.

It's good to understand the subtext you are sending out when you tease. Example. My LTR informs me that she's going out of town to visit her mother. I say, "Give her (mom) a good slap on the ass for me." Subtext: I'll still find you [ltr] attractive when you are old, and I'll still be playful with you too. Her mom is 65.

Great post. I'm still learning the ins and outs of teasing but I agree with pretty much everything you said.

I went on a Tinder date recently who was a tougher customer than normal. More stern and a bitchier vibe than I'm used to. I have a hard time teasing these girls above a certain level because that's when it starts to feel unnatural. But I didn't force it. I waited until we talked about a really popular movie. When she said she hadn't seen it, I jumped all over it saying in amazement, "what! That's insane. Are you serious? (She smiles and says yes) exaggerated disbelief, throwing my arms in the air "that's it, this date is over" fake getting up to leave she loses it, getting red and covering her mouth while laughing.

It was after this point I felt the power shift towards my side and I closed her half an hour later. Teasing works.

Many guys don’t want to use pickup techniques like teasing or disqualification because it’s not ‘natural to their personality’.

I was reading the MGTOW forum the other day. A lot of the guys are there because they got divorce raped, false accusations, cheated on, etc. A huge chunk of the guys are there though because they are absolutely OBSESSED with the idea that they shouldn't have to change their personalities at all to get a woman.

Like, I get it, but don't you have sexual urges? You're just going to retire your cock rather than lift weights and learn how to not be a beta bitch? It's fucking pathetic, to be honest. I used to respect MGTOW and consider our differences just a friendly disagreement, but I lost a lot of respect after reading some of their attitudes.