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[TRENCHES] Tuesday, October 14, 2014 - Guest Art: Mackenzie Schubert

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So, is Trenches done at this point? It's been quite a long time since we've had a real comic. Just curious if I missed the memo.... ;)

Nothing official has been announced. The strip's sole writer/artist at the moment, Ty Haley, hasn't updated his own comic That's Inhuman since the end of Sept either, although he's still posting on Twitter:https://twitter.com/tyhalley

If it's still just a break between seasons, it's now the longest one so far.

My guess would be the Trenches story is about "Alien Cabal." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alien_Cabal) The situation really highlights the difficulty of making commercial games in the mid/late 90s. Technology was moving so fast that by the time you released a game based on an existing engine you were already a generation or two behind the curve.

Years ago we dropped out of college and started a game company. We set deadlines for our first release and hit them more or less. The game was a moderate success. Excited by our success our publisher secured a license to the alpha code for the DOOM engine before anyone else and convinced us to write a shooter with it. Never mind that we weren’t really interested in shooters or had no experience with shooters. Sure we could do it! To make matters worse the engine was dated and we had to beat a major studio with a triple A title to market for our venture to be profitable.

Keep in mind we were just two guys working out of my friend’s parents’ house. Did I mention we were only getting 3000 a month to develop this thing? Our publisher chose a release date and the grind began.

To any sane person it would have been obvious our goal was impossible. We had no real budget. We were only two guys (four by the end). The engine was buggy. It was incomplete. It was clearly an unfinished experiment, rather than an actual game engine. Our initial milestones came and went. The publisher ratcheted up the pressure. We were young and stupid and refused to admit to reality so we soldiered on. In reaction to the mounting pressure we worked longer and longer hours. Eventually we stopped sleeping altogether. Caffeine made this possible.

High doses of caffeine make you strange. Anyone in the game biz can attest to this. We’ve all spent weeks or months at a time overdosing daily on the stuff to keep the wheels of the industry turning. 40 hour days are not uncommon. After doing this for a couple of months we started noticing something. In the wee hours of the night when one of us was alone we kept thinking there was someone else in the room.

At first we thought it was one of the other developers. It soon became clear however that it was an imaginary presence brought on by the paranoia from the caffeine. It was very unsettling. But then we got used to it. And eventually began to talk to it. We would ask it questions. We’d ask it to look at this or that thing as we completed parts of the game. Toward the end we were leaving it offerings of food and drink - usually pizza and mountain dew. Religions start this way.

The game was finally released. A year late. The buzz around the engine was gone. Our savings were gone. Our patience was gone. At least the game was finished. It was over. We released a commercial game on a budget of only 30,000 dollars in 24 months that was intended to compete with Duke Nuke ‘em. It was an abysmal failure. When it was all over and I was finally able to stop drinking so much caffeine I felt a profound sense of lost. Not only had our dream of starting a successful game company been shattered but the presence was gone. Our long time invisible friend had vanished.

Not going to guess about the game, but the timeframe has got to be mid-90s. Doom came out in 1993, Duke Nukem 3D in 1996, and Quake in 1996 as well.

I have many Tales to choose from, but I’ll stick with the one that almost got me fired.

I got a job at a retail electronics store, let’s call it “Buy More,” with high aspirations of helping people buy games and using my knowledge.

Despite being awesome at selling games and having said knowledge, I got transferred to the Merchandising/Inventory Department because I quote, “Went on vacation.” Nevermind that I put in for it well before the mandatory 18 day requirement, or that it was to see my brother graduate college in another state.

So now I have to stay late to unload trucks, and get in early to put stuff away. Fine, but at least now I didn’t have to interact with most of the customers and managers (I got jaded fast). There was a nice rhythm to it, you could wear headphones and plug away until all the shelves were full and the pegs were stocked.

Of course, if you didn’t hear someone talking to you, that could be bad…

I got called into the manager’s office one day. My manager and immediate supervisor were there, paperwork in hand, ready to write me up for insubordination. I had no clue what’s going on.

Apparently, earlier that week while I was keeping busy restocking the shelves my supervisor had called out to me, trying to get my attention. I did not answer because I had earbuds in, and walked away.

While most people would have just walked up, asked in person “Hey you need to be able to hear me, could you go do this other thing,” they decided to have a sit down, and talk about how it COULD have been PERCEIVED that I was being insubordinate.

That’s right, I almost got written up not because I was, and not because someone else saw this happen, but on the off chance that someone was watching and made the mental leap that I was sticking it to the man by ignoring him.

The real kicker, and part that made it hard to keep a straight face in the sit-down?

My supervisor was deaf in one ear. Every day someone tried to get his attention and he’d keep walking

When I was in grade school, my dad worked in Sales & Marketing for one of the world’s largest software publishers. He worked on promoting a number of titles for a legendary space adventure franchise, and as I was a huge fan of the franchise, he usually got me early releases and beta builds of some great franchise games.

Eventually, someone from the developer got wind of this, and decided they wanted some feedback from my gameplay sessions. Apparently, they hadn’t been able to get actual player feedback from anyone younger than 18 years old.

My dad saw an opportunity to strengthen a business relationship, and I was game for it, so we started doing some recorded feedback sessions on cassette tape after I would play for a few hours. Things intensified as they tried to use more sessions with me as a substitute for having sessions with multiple people. I wasn’t enjoying replaying some of the games, and I could only play the games when he was able to record my feedback afterward.

It got to where my dad could tell I wasn’t having fun anymore, and he told the developer we wouldn’t be able to provide feedback anymore. The “damage” had been done, though.

When these games all came out at retail, all my friends snatched them up, and I found myself stuck watching people play the games I had spent far too much time with already. A few of my friends noticed that I had an almost preternatural understanding of game missions, cheat codes, etc, and they pumped me for as “help” as they could.

In all seriousness, it was years before I was able to play video games with friends again. That’s why you’ll never catch me beta testing anything—ever again.

Years ago I was the QA Manager working on a turn based strategy role playing game. We were in the alpha stage and were really starting to see how the game would play and feel. The team grew more very excited as more elements of the game were implemented. We knew we had a hit on our hands.

One Monday morning Mark, one of the testers, about 19 years old, calls me to let me know he could not come to work. He had explained that he and his D&D guild were gaming the night before and were up pretty late. I attempted to be understanding and continued to listen to his pathetic attempt at trying to sound sick. I was not buying it. Maybe he knew. He continued. He told me about the one character that he had had for years and how he had grown very proud of his high level chaotic good paladin. Last nights gaming session had taken a very bad turn for the worse for poor Mark. In an intense battle his paladin had managed to heal everyone else but not himself. Sadly, he had died.

Mark was clearly very distraught and upset by this and needed to take a day to mourn the loss of the once great paladin. At least the paladin managed to score with the ladies once in the tavern thanks to the correct rolling of the 78 sided dice! (or however many sides it had… I digress.)

I let Mark know that he could take all the time he needed and his services were no longer needed.

Trying to take a day off to mourn the death of your D&D character though... It doesn't paint the prettiest picture of one's perceived work ethic, especially to an employer willing to sack you for anything.

Trying to take a day off to mourn the death of your D&D character though... It doesn't paint the prettiest picture of one's perceived work ethic, especially to an employer willing to sack you for anything.

Yeah. Though it may have actually been honestly broken up about it. No kid gets out of elementary school without knowing how to fake sick. Maybe he really was devastated. My best friend bawled his eyes out when he was 10 because his paladin got killed in a game. 19 seems a little old for that, but put the stress of a minimum wage 70 hour a week job on top of personal life stress and yeah, I can see that being the straw that broke the camels back so to speak. I've had a mental breakdown before. The thing that set it off was tiny in comparison to the things that built up to it.

I'm a manager in software engineering. If one of my direct reports wants to take a day off it's really not a big deal. I don't even care what their reason is.

Seriously, what does it even matter as long as they are doing good work, are around when it's critical, and aren't making a habit of being absentee with no notice?

Indeed. You really have to look at your employees as interchangeable parts instead of humans to really care why they are taking the day off. As long as they don't make a habit of it you should have enough staffing depth to handle normal absenteeism. But from his perspective perhaps he figured that this cog proved himself unable to work every day without fail, and getting a new cog is easy, so why not just use 'em until you break 'em then replace 'em from the neverending line of applicants waiting to be abused?

Calling in Dead12/18/2014 - Anonymous
I let Mark know that he could take all the time he needed and his services were no longer needed.

Yeah it was a pretty bullshit excuse, but unless he had been a problematic employee in the past I don't really see why sacking him was necessary.

The fact that he would even be that honest means he's probably been working so hard he's delirious and really needs a day off anyway. After he got back to work you could just tell him its inappropriate to take a day off to morn the death of an imaginary person, and he needs to start remembering not to stay up late when he has work the next day.

Yes that isn't something you should HAVE to tell someone, but there are a few people without common sense or good parents that impart this wisdom.

If he dose it again...well yeah sack the little insubordinate shithead (at least for not giving you the courtesy of making up something serious).

I definitely disagreed with this one, especially the contempt of this guy for the '78 sided dice' and other stuff that made it clear he was looking down his nose at the employee.

It doesn't matter what it was or why your employee needed the day off; it was obviously important to him, and he felt he couldn't do his work effectively because of it. If he needed a personal day because he saw a spider and he's very shook up about it, it's not your fucking job to judge him. It's your job to judge his work performance, and from the story you told, I don't see any particular problem there. You're his supervisor, not his slave driver. Also, you're a dick.

Especially since you work at a gaming company and you show no respect for gaming. I don't even know what kind of mental gymnastics you have to go through when you fire someone for not thinking your game was important because they thought a game was important.

I am a former employee of THQ’s testing department. I was employed for a little less than a year, because their contracted time for Testers is 1 year max and then you are either fired and never rehired, or hired on as one of the strictly limited number of salaried employees. Not as good as it sounds because you are not paid for overtime.

I worked on Company of Heroes, which apparently was originally slated to be named Band of Brothers, but someone beat us to it. It was a game designed to exist as a Multiplayer game, and single player was an afterthought. I spent my first 5 months playing two levels of that game and nothing but. Levels that could be completed with your eyes closed, where you set some things in motion and wait for a count down timer. I had to intentionally lose the levels to see if they had proper losing conditions.

At the end of the testing cycle, we received free special edition copies of the finalized game in thanks for our hard work… from the Developers. THQ didn’t think we deserved a wrap celebration.

I worked on Titan Quest’s expansion pack. I had my mouse button held down all day, every day. My right hand felt like it was going to fall off after the first week, but my time on the game lasted far longer.

We were only meant to test the expanded area of the game, anything found wrong in the part originally shipped, those bugs didn’t matter. That might make it sound like it was less work, but in reality it meant we spent most of our time GETTING to the areas we had to test.

It was horribly aggravating because the Diablo 2 rip off missed the one thing that gave the Diablo series any longevity and appeal. Titan’s Quest did not have randomized maps. And so, I played that game a few hundred times, knowing where every monster and quest item was. No surprises, rare bugs because it was an established set of code and mostly stable.

Titan’s Quest was a dark point in my life.

During a testing cycle, my table cluster of testing comrades were put under the leadership of a person being “groomed” for more responsibilities. He was the most worthless leader one could imagine. His one and only idea for our team in the multiplayer we were testing was to do the exact same test the other table of guys were doing. He was frightened of leadership, had no originality, and didn’t know what power was for or how to use it. I can only imagine high octane hallucinogens or nepotism was involved in the decision to “groom” him. His worst feature though? The smell. Like a diseased mule.

I was put on Dawn of War: Dark Crusade. The most fun I had in the company, as I was a fan of the Tabletop edition. Dawn of War was the high point of my time, despite the hours.

It was on Dawn of War that I nailed my record work week. Eighty Four hours in one week. it would have been more, but management decided to send everyone home on Sunday morning to save on the double overtime. I worked so hard I forgot my apartment had a purpose other than “Food” and “Sleep.” On my rare day off, I stood in my apartment looking blankly at the four walls and wondering what I was suppose to do.

There’s no work! What am I suppose to do with this time I have? Wait, was there something called “leisure” once?

It would take hours for me to remember there were non-broken games in my apartment to play.

As a tester, I was sealed in a dark room with 200 other people. I was undervalued, under appreciated, and never trusted. The “real” employees objected to sharing the same lunch hour as us testers. The management decided that testing on holidays was as mandatory as Monday - Friday, and there would be no overtime in exchange for being deprived of our families and recreation.

All the people that worked with us, interacted with us, were wonderful and felt our pain. They were not management though. In my time at THQ the management were infected with infighting little childish stoats who misused precious projects and funding to undercut each other and felt Testing was a job anyone off the street could do well and treated us like disposable light bulbs. Left working all day, thrown out, and replaced constantly.

But I loved working for THQ. The people, the projects, my bosses, my co-workers. It was wonderful. I was making dreams take shape and ensuring that people could spend their precious days having fun.

While I will never be able to forget the bad times, what I will always remember are the good times.

Over the years since I was terminated, I have followed THQ’s successes and failures. It hurt when they released lackluster titles. I rejoiced when they had rousing successes. I was inspired when they finally got that guy from Naughty Dog to take over the Presidency, because I instinctively knew THQ was in trouble and felt that if anyone could save them it was him.

But my hope failed. THQ was too entrenched in the mistakes of the past that it could not reach daylight. When I read that article online about THQ’s final demise I couldn’t breathe. The finality of it made me feel like a friend of mine had just died.

It still hurts. Throbbing in the background when I dwell upon the fate of a company that gave dreams to so many people. A company that misused me horribly but let me make a difference in the lives of so many gamers, in the lives of so many dreamers.

I used to work as a QA member for one well-known video game company, famous for their huge number of shovelware subsidiaries in all parts of the world where labor is cheap and government is generous. We were at some point 14 people, testing this very short text adventure game on a cell phone. Of course, we ran out of work quite fast. Our superior, a guy from Mexico having a hard time speaking French (the main language around), English or even Spanish according to one of my colleague who was natively speaking Spanish, told us that we could play the Xbox 360 we had in some room.

Most of were pleased to be paid to actually have fun while playing games, so we did as we were told and enjoyed some gaming time. Later during the day, we were called for our weekly meeting with everybody from the QA team, our team leader and the top manager. When it was the turn of our superior to speak, he told us that we should never play Xbox 360 games during working hours.

Everybody was staring at him, speechless. My answer was something like “But you are the one who told us we could play since we were out of work, you %$&* retard!” His answer was “Yes, but it’s not a good idea.” The top manager, not caring at all, changed the topic. I wasn’t fired until 3 years later, when the money they got from the government ran out.

I’ve been in the “internet” industry for a while. Most of the problems that game testing run into are a sickening parallel here, however, I’ve not come into anything as bad as what happened to my wife once one of your precious games doesn’t come out exactly as you’d like.

Some gamers quickly become frothing, spiteful misogynists once their game waifu’s honor is slighted.

During a rough patch in my career (red tape surrounding a promised raise, par for the course, right?), she got a job to help make ends meet. She found a job working for EA’s Origin Account Support. EA made the onboarding process fairly smooth, worked with her around my schedule as to allow for ride-sharing, and the pay/benefits package wasn’t horrible based on the type of work she’d be doing. Training was sufficient, and her coworkers are mostly human. Everything was fine for the first month.

Then Mass Effect 3 came out.

I’m not going to exactly spoil it for those of you not privy to the story, but an important character dies. Fans were livid and they called. And called. And called.

Remember: she works for account support, a department that never gets ahold of writers, artists, coders, or decision makers.

Some asked for lukewarm things like refunds, credits and the like, but there are some of you that just can’t leave well enough alone. Personal attacks dealing with her gender (“Get a man on the phone, you won’t understand my complaint”), her moral compass being compromised based on her association with EA (“You’re actively ruining my hobby. You.”), death threats, and hour-long tirades picking apart the story (Think “Han Shot First” type rants) were her bread-and butter.

This is where EA could have easily come to the rescue for their employees, but all of us knowing EA, this should not come as a surprise. My wife’s manager told her team they are never, under any circumstances, allowed to end a customer call. The customer must hang up. Managers do not have the ability to override this, they say, which is bullshit. Every VoIP administration box can just shut a phone off.

She managed to get through a week on the floor after ME3’s release before she called me in tears, asking to leave her job.

To put her mental constitution into context, she did a tour in Iraq, and was honorably discharged on medical grounds (repetitive motion disorder).

It’s just a game, everybody. Calm the fuck down, and remember that whenever you need to call support for any reason, they are humans.

I think there's just a bot that automatically posts new tales out of some bottomless reserve they have and will keep going it long after humanity has been wiped out by the impending nano-plague.

I was going to make a joke here about the AI hanging out at Ilovebees.com waiting to transmit data on the Covenant to the UNSC 500 years from now, but... it looks like Ilovebees.com is down now? That's kindof a bummer.

I think there's just a bot that automatically posts new tales out of some bottomless reserve they have and will keep going it long after humanity has been wiped out by the impending nano-plague.

Well, no new story was posted yesterday, and I think there was another time recently where a new tale wasn't posted (Thanksgiving?), so it doesn't appear to be automated. They do seem to have a ton of tales though.

I was going to make a joke here about the AI hanging out at Ilovebees.com waiting to transmit data on the Covenant to the UNSC 500 years from now, but... it looks like Ilovebees.com is down now? That's kindof a bummer.

Those Alternate Reality Games never really had a plan for longevity, since they were in essence marketing campaigns.

Some asked for lukewarm things like refunds, credits and the like, but there are some of you that just can’t leave well enough alone. Personal attacks dealing with her gender (“Get a man on the phone, you won’t understand my complaint”), her moral compass being compromised based on her association with EA (“You’re actively ruining my hobby. You.”), death threats, and hour-long tirades picking apart the story (Think “Han Shot First” type rants) were her bread-and butter.

...smh. Some people are just so goddamn stupid. Besides maybe issuing refunds or credits what did they think account support could do about it?

This is where EA could have easily come to the rescue for their employees, but all of us knowing EA, this should not come as a surprise. My wife’s manager told her team they are never, under any circumstances, allowed to end a customer call. The customer must hang up. Managers do not have the ability to override this, they say, which is bullshit. Every VoIP administration box can just shut a phone off.

Its probably less that the managers didn't have the ability, its more like they didn't have the authority. Workers were probably told it was not possible so they didn't bug the manager's boss to let the managers do it. I understand the CS reason on not hanging up, but there really needs to be some bullshit or belligerence exception (even if you need it cleared first). When I briefly worked in customer service (in a financial institution) we weren't allowed to hang up on a customer, but if there were issues we couldn't solve or a customer was becoming increasingly irate we were allowed to pass it on to the managers (which happened frequently when they were expecting to have money in their account, but it hadn't wired in yet; learned a bit about how much federal red tape exists when moving money around).

I was going to make a joke here about the AI hanging out at Ilovebees.com waiting to transmit data on the Covenant to the UNSC 500 years from now, but... it looks like Ilovebees.com is down now? That's kindof a bummer.

Those Alternate Reality Games never really had a plan for longevity, since they were in essence marketing campaigns.

ILoveBees.com was still active with the countdown showing until relatively recently. Like, the past year or two.

Going this long without any information from Tycho and Gabe on this is kind of Embarrassing for them. This has the Penny Arcade Logo on it. It's a reflection of their brand. Is this how they want their brand perceived?

Trenches has been handled in such an afterthought, opaque way all along that this is the only way it could end that feels appropriate. I mean, it wouldn't make much sense if they started promptly and clearly communicating the status of the comic and their plans for it now.