Just Fucking Win for a Change

January 07, 2012

A team with the third-highest payroll in the NHL shouldn't be as fun to watch as women's basketball.

Thanks to Darcy Regier's latest comments that he has no intent to shake up the coaching staff and roster, it sure sounds like we're all going to be treated to more of the same for the rest of the season. Joy.

I've literally never witnessed a sports franchise insist on failure this aggressively when the solution to their problems is so goddamned apparent.

But then, what else would you expect when two-game winning streaks are the team's primary goal?

This $50,707,857 payroll is more than the $49.4 million committed to the Nashville Predators this season. Round it up to $51 million and Buffalo's current roster costs just about the same as those belonging to the Carolina Hurricanes, New York Islanders, Dallas Stars, and Colorado Avalanche. At the time of this writing, the Stars are sitting in seventh place in the Western Conference, and the Preds and Aves are ninth and tenth, respectively.

So I have a couple questions: Do the coaches of all these teams piss and moan about not being able to compete because their players cost less than some other teams'? Do they blame losses on the fact that they happen to have a lower payroll than other clubs do? And if so, where's that magic salary total that guarantees wins? Just wondering.

December 02, 2011

I don't think I've ever seen a hockey game as bad as the Sabres-Wings game tonight. I mean, everyone knew Buffalo was going to lose (and, let's be honest, that's really all you need to know), but even I didn't think it would be over in the first ten minutes.

Let's be real. The only thing I take out of this game is that you can't be a GM in the NHL and think you don't need to make changes after watching this shitstain of a game. Detroit didn't even try. I'm not fucking kidding. Let me repeat: Detroit didn't even break a sweat tonight. It was like they were playing my high school team. All we could do was fight, but the Sabres didn't even try that tonight.

So here's where I am: If Darcy Regier doesn't make at least two significant moves in the next month, he needs to go. I admit I don't necessarily know what all the moves need to be, but one of them needs to be a coaching change. The only problem is, I highly doubt Regier is going to fire his best friend. So we gots a dilemma on our hands, don't we?

I realize Ted Black doesn't read my blog because I use the F word. Okay, I realize Ted Black doesn't read my blog because no one even knows it exists (save for Willful Caboose fans -- love ya, KB!). But this Sabres team sucks. I don't really know if it's just coaching or just players or a combination of both. All I know is that they've won one fucking game in the past six, and Bruce Boudreau just got canned for that type of shit. So I know it happens. So, Ted Black: shit isn't working. If Darcy Regier hasn't had the same epiphany tonight that I did, you have to fire him next week, or you need to be fired too.

Here's the thing: I'm watching the Islanders go to a shootout against the Blackhawks, and I can only think one thing: No, not that that's a lot of colons for one sentence, but that the Sabres wouldn't even be anywhere close to a shootout against the Hawks. Yeah, yeah ... the Islanders will obviously lose in the shootout -- Inigo Montoya ain't no miracle worker, ya know? -- but at least they got a point. Buffalo wouldn't have even gotten a fucking point. As we learned Tuesday night, when they couldn't even be bothered to get a point against the fucking Islanders.

Okay, I'm going to bed. I just had to get that off my chest. Seriously, Ted ... I'm sorry if I just got you fired. For all I know Mr. Pegula reads this blog -- we're Olean homies, you know? He could seriously be one of the 18 a day. So just think about what I'm saying here. Your team sucks. Anything short of a Cup is failure. I know this because we've never freaking (sorry, fucking) won one.

Considering all I've done since Tuesday is look forward to watching another Sabres game, I think you owe me a little more than what I had to watch tonight.