Moe

In the latest issue of O former General Electric CEO Jack Welch's latest wife Suzy diagnoses the five types of hateful co-workers — the Star, the Slider, the Self-Promoter, the Boss Hater and the Pity Party — in what would be a decent column if any space were given to the different ways men and women assume these roles, like how sometimes women become cloying, ubersexualized versions of themselves when they're around powerful men and that's how they get ahead in their careers (And hello: break up marriages! Not that Jack probably needed help in the infidelity department.) You know those women? They're a "type". The ladies who make their gender, like, the central focus of their corporate identities.

They're the ones who will tell you they always wear heels because they confer "power" only because they're not honest enough to tell you heels distract men by making them think of taking them doggy style while they're giving PowerPoint presentations, thereby shaming them into just approving whatever dumb project they were proposing. Whatever. (By the way, we learned this by reading Testosterone, Inc., just in case you got the wrong idea.) We hate these types. And not only because our boss isn't at all interested in fucking us.