It’s getting hot out and I’m ready to break out the shorts, but my leg hair is way too noticeable! I want to shave because it makes me super self-conscious, but my mom says I’m not allowed to. How can I convince her to let me fix this hairy situation?

We’ve been there, girl! It can be really tough when something’s buggin’ you this much and Mom just doesn’t seem to understand.

We’ve got great tips on how to approach the topic, what to say, and even how to take it if she says no.

Part 1—The Chat

If you’ve already asked and she’s said “no”, don’t bring it up every 5 minutes – she’ll just get frustrated. Instead, sit her down for a full convo on the subject, and don’t bring it up again for a few months – no matter what the outcome. Here are some ways to talk to her about it so that things come out in your favor!

Tip #1: Listen to Her
Tell your Mom you want to start shaving, and acknowledge that she doesn’t approve. Then ask her to explain why. Really pay attention – she might actually have some good reasons.

Tip #2: Explain Your Sitch
Politely tell her your reasons for wanting to shave. If other girls have made fun of you, or if it’s making you feel so uncomfortable that you won’t even wear shorts in 90-degree weather, she might be more likely to understand.

Tip #3: Be Ready to Compromise
No matter what Mom’s reasons for saying “no” are, you have to let her know that you were listening, and you’re willing to meet her halfway. Offer a compromise: you’ll only shave below your knees, or you’ll use a hair removal cream instead of shaving (so you don’t run the risk of cutting yourself). Her decision doesn’t have to be all or nothing...if you chat it out.

Tip #4: Give her Time
After the two of you have chatted, ask her to think it over before she makes a decision. Decide on a time when she’ll tell you, and (this part may be difficult) don’t ask her about it until then.

Part 2—The Decision

Now comes the (hopefully) good part…your mom will tell you whether or not you’re allowed to shave. If your conversation went well, you both listened to each other, and she understands that your reasons are good she’ll most likely let you. If she does, great! Make sure you include her in the process by asking for tips or a demonstration. If she says the dreaded “no,” here’s how to handle it:

Tip #1: Accept It
Tell her you understand her decision, and while it isn’t what you wanted, you’ll respect it. Even if you’re feelin’ totally bummed, you’re showing her how mature you are by not whining.

Tip #2: Try Again
After a month or two, approach the subject again. Make sure Mom knows that it’s a big deal to you and why. It also might help to gently remind her how mature you were about the rejection last time. You may have to repeat this cycle a few times, but be patient! She will eventually say yes.

Remember: NO BEGGING OR WHINING! If you handle the situation like the mature chica you are, she’ll be more likely to treat you like one.