Have I mentioned that I’m on the Executive Management Team at the psych hospital where I work?

And Mary is too?

And we’re friends?

HUZZAH!

According to the court affidavit, she’d been called to testify regarding the fact that Psycho Ex was an “ideal employee,” and had never been under any sort of discipline. He’d worked there for 30 years and was 2 years shy of retirement when they fired him for sending my naked photos around. His goal was to get his job back and he was just delusional enough to think she’d help him with that.

I almost can’t blame him– Mary is one of the most positive and sunshiney people I’ve ever met She leaks rainbows and unicorns out of all her orifices. Even when she told me her story of being robbed at gunpoint and tied up in a closet she kept a smile on her face and wrapped it up with a cheery life lesson.

But not this time.

Mary took the stand and was quick to emphasize that she’d refused to testify until she learned there’d be an armed guard. She described his erratic behavior on the wards and how the last time she’d given him an evaluation she had marked “needs improvement” on every bit of criteria. He’d begun yelling and pacing, and she’d been so afraid of him that she told our boss she would never allow herself to be alone with him.

“This is a man who knows how to use intimidation to get what he wants.”

Much of his past is a mystery to me (let’s be real, I was 2 years old when he was the same age I am now) but I learned a lot from Mary’s testimony. He’d been implicated in a series of internal affairs investigations over the years but always managed to keep his job—most notably was a former patient who claimed he’d gotten her pregnant after she discharged from the hospital. I eventually got my greedy little hacker hands on the document itself and learned that he admitted to meeting up with her (the biggest NO NO ever) but claimed it was only so he could tell her to stay away (riiiight). Her sister submitted a signed statement about him staying overnight at their place for weeks. But he still kept his job. After all, he was the decorated Army Ranger and she was the psych patient.

I learned about a pending case with Child Protective Services from a minor who alleged an inappropriate sexual relationship while she was in the juvenile wing of the psych ward. It had fallen through the cracks during a change of administration and recently been re-opened.

The plot was thickening like one of those rap guys girlfriends.

There are too many stories to list, and they keep surfacing. I can’t help wondering why it took so long for all his bad karma to finally catch up with him. How can someone like him go through life using and abusing people to his own end and never be held accountable for it?

I can’t imagine how Bitch Lawyer must have felt, watching the character witness she’d subpoenaed, trouncing her client. Probably not as bad as she felt when she found out Psycho Ex had negative dollars in his bank account and no way to actually pay her.

After all testimony was heard and the trial concluded, the judge took two weeks to make her final ruling.

TWO WEEKS.

Do you know how many times I had to listen to Katy Perry’s “ROAR” in that two weeks? I decided this waiting period legitimized my need for a two-week vacation, and retreated to the mountains to wait it out like some sort of truth-seeking hermit.

Being that I was “only a witness” in the case, I wasn’t entitled to notification of the judge’s verdict. I had to either wait for blank-stare-attorney to let me know, my employer’s asshat legal team to remember how to write e-mails, or for him to kick in my door and kill me in my sleep.

I was assuming the latter would be the most likely tip off but when the decision came through, I was proved wrong. My phone was ringing off the hook. Everyone wanted to be the first to tell me.

“We won.”

“He’s never coming back.”

“You did it.”

In a nine page ruling, the judge nailed it:

“Lorens was a credible and consistent witness. Psycho Ex was not. His testimony was calculated and evasive. It is a stretch at best to believe that Lorens would go to such great lengths to move her residence, change her phone number, and seek protection at work and an Order of Protection in District Court, all to avenge Psycho Ex’s infidelity.”

If ever there were a time that I was going to pull off the coordination to jubilantly karate kick the air whilst twisting and simultaneously fist-pumping, it was now. This man had put me through hell for the year we dated, stalked and intimidated me for another 8 months, then put me through this bitch of a trial—and it was finally over. He wouldn’t be returning to my work, he wasn’t allowed to have any contact whatsoever. It was a sweeping victory.

But then my attorney texted me.

“There’s one other thing you should know.”

“He’s gone back to the district court and petitioned to have the restraining order revoked.”

Apparently I wasn’t the only one who’d realized he was out of options to screw with me. Somewhere in some domestic violence law there is a clause that states either party can file a motion to vacate the restraining order. Nine times out of ten this is because they’ve reconciled. One times out of ten it’s because someone is a supreme douche bag.

So that is where I leave you.

His petition to vacate the order is sitting in a “not urgent” queue at the courthouse, waiting for some indeterminate amount of time before a Judge looks at it and decides whether or not to have a retrial.

If that day comes, I’ll be ready. I’ve got “ROAR” on repeat and a friend who’s already agreed to come and live tweet the entire thing. #AussaBeatDown

Forgive me, I know there’s nothing quite so unsatisfying as an unresolved story, but in a lot of ways I think most stories never really complete themselves– they just bow out and make way for something else, resting demurely in the sidelines, flirting with the idea of a comeback.

If anything happens, you’ll be the first to know. And while we love to call him a myriad of profane names (more on that later) I suppose I have one thing to thank him for:

When I returned from the mountains to my wifi-lacking abode, I finally signed up for internet access because if there is any conclusion to this story, it is this: I totally had to start a blog.

Have you known someone who received a long-awaited “comeuppance” after a lifetime of wrong? Do you prefer stories with clear-cut endings or can you handle a little mystery? Why did YOU originally start your blog?

Well, I’d just like to point out that Liam Neeson doesn’t have the same “assets” as you though… Now I have this image in my head of a cross between Liam Neeson in a red wig & John Travolta in Hairspray… Thanks for that!

This. Was. Fantastic. Part of me is sad to see it ending (though I’m super excited for Sunday’s secret), but the rest of me knows that all good stories (painful as they may be, they’re still good) must come to some sort of end. Our stories never have that clear-cut “The End” moment. I don’t even think death does it. If that were the case, I wouldn’t spend so much time talking about my grandparents, or Mak’s brother, or any of the people we’ve lost. They live on as long as their stories do.

And I started my blog because I had to tell the story of my uncle’s dogs and a massive case of blue balls. Seriously.

You are definitely someone who I knew would relate to this “the end, sort of” type of conclusion. Everything always seems to linger onwards, doesn’t it? I’m 2 cups of coffee short of making some sort of incredibly profound statement regarding linear time and horizons but alas– the brain is all fuzzy.

Blue balls = the best inspiration to join the chorus of the internets, ever.

This dude really does sound like a textbook psychopath. Congratulations, you just beat the most fucked-up douchebag motherfucker I’ve ever heard of. Hopefully nothing comes of his petition. By the sound of that case file, the picture of a lying psycho has already been painted in technicolour.

Seriously– I almost want to victim blame myself like “how the hell did you get mixed up with such a horrible human being?” But he was cunning and good at what he did… and if it comes to another court case, I don’t think it will be all that difficult to prove he’s scum. It certainly shouldn’t take two weeks this time!

Wow… this guy is a persistent at being a douche bag. I wouldn’t call the story unfinished though. It was a win for you and if it gets repealed (which I doubt), just go get it back….. also…. he sounds super scary…. do you have a bodyguard? Or ten? lol.

I think the reason he was able to get so far, is people don’t want to believe the worst in others and they don’t want to rock the boat. Combine those two and a lot of people get away with stuff they shouldn’t. :-

Seriously– he is fully committed to living a life of unwavering douchebaggery. As for a bodyguard.. I’m my own bodyguard 😉 I have a few tricks up my sleeve. But hopefully he has just crawled back to the rathole from whence he came and knows better than to keep coming back for Round 97, Round 98…

That’s a keen insight on why people get away with things– I think you’re right. And it’s compounded when that person fits into a demographic you wouldn’t normally expect. I think that line of thinking works both ways, unfortunately.

Hell yes. I gives me immense pleasure to know that karma finally bit someone in the ass, because all of the d-bags I know get away with it forever- including my ex-boyfriend. I hope your ex’s petition sits in a non-urgent queue for the rest of his days.

Me too. When I first found out, I was mildly devastated and freaking out and feeling panicky but now there’s this part of me that sort of hunkers down and is like “bring it on.” That’s probably not the healthiest part of my brain talking 😉

It does seem like so many people get away with this stuff– I think of all the people in his wake… there are a lot… and it makes me feel better about all the shit I had to go through that eventually landed him in some shitty rental in the bad part of town without a penny to his name or a body to keep his bed warm.

As you well should, that guy is a massive douchecanoe. You fucking rock, I am so happy for you that he is now wallowing in his own bad karma. Awesome. I’m sorry you had to go through all that shit, but you definitely rocked it and got him put where he belongs. Hugs!

You kicked his sorry ass, Aussa. Congratulations. As far as his appeal? That only proves that some people are so far beyond rehabilitation for their destructive ways. The next time he shows up at your place of work, he might be the one inside that armless jacket.

Seriously. He certainly deserves to be locked up in one place or another. The longer he pursues this whole thing, the crazier he looks– in my opinion. Sometimes it’s best to know you’ve been beat and good lord, what’s in it for him?! It baffles the mind.

I’m only half way through this but have to comment on this line right freakin’ now…: “The plot was thickening like one of those rap guys girlfriends.” OMG…I wanted to back-it-up and give you a standing ovation for this line.
**********

I knew you would take this bastard down! I also want to high-five bitch lawyer’s star witness. I bet the hospital is back-tracking like a mutha to cover their tracks, now that all this is coming out in the open. I can’t believe the gall of this guy, to go as far as to try and have the OOP revoked. He is what keeps Lifetime movies on the air.

I’m truly cheering for you, Aussa. And I seriously hope you consider writing a “based on a true story” book with all this. You got what it takes to be a successful writer.

“He is what keeps Lifetime movies on the air,” hahahaha! Excellent. And I’m glad you liked the shoutout to Sir Mix A Lot– it just sort of rolled right off the brain and I was like “yeah, I have to keep that…”

I want to write this story in more depth, for sure. There are sooo sososososo many more details! And there have also been several people (on the interwebs) who question it and are like “no, this part can’t be true” and “you must have exaggerated.” I kind of want to write it just so I can include the documents and be like SERIOUSLY NO IT WAS JUST LIKE THIS. That whole truth is stranger than fiction thing reigns supreme in this story.

Thanks for the cheering on! And for reading along through the whole thing 🙂

I think blogging is an incredible form of therapy. It has it’s peculiar drawbacks, particularly when you get sucked into some awkward drama and/or get trolled all over but for the most part I think it does most of us a world of good.
I hope your abusers get their comeuppance– this is an odd, sometimes difficult to understand sort of world and we can only keep tabs on our own behavior and our own outcomes but I like to think that these pieces of shit pay for their actions in one way or another.

1. *Squeals* A Secret!
2. I had no idea the stalker could move to have the order revoked. Wtf?
3. I am so, so glad you started a blog. You were one of the first blogs I read and one of the first to comment on mine. While you generally make me shake my head like, “How dafuq is she so awesome?” you also inspire me to try harder at the parts of blogging I don’t like so much (anything other than writing words).

1. I know! Me love secrets long time.
2. SERIOUSLY. I didn’t know either. I doubt any of them are usually dumb enough to go through that. He’s just that special.
3. That is awesome! So we started roundabouts the same time? Early October? That makes my heart do squeezy warm things.

Yessssss!!!! I knew that this story MUST end (sort of) with justice being served. But…I’m still in post trial “To Kill A Mockingbird” shape and I worried that the 2 weeks was a bad sign.
You, dear, are an amazing woman and I’m glad your grace, resilience and good people in your life brought you to your newest and biggest fans.
ROAR!!!

I’ve been on a blog hiatus except for yours because I was hooked to this story! I am so happy it turned out for the best, Aussa. What a sad sack of flaming dog pooh that man is. May his utterly asenine request gather a thousand inches of dust in the back of some old filing cabinet (or vanish from existence by accidental deletion).

Well now we must hear it! This sounds like something that would happen to me (getting lost) and sand dunes would only complicate this tendency of mine… let’s hear it Sean, give the people what they want 😉

Haha let’s sprinkle some fairy dust/wave a wand with that proclamation right there, I love it! And thank you for sneaking back to read along during your blog hiatus. That is awesome and totally makes my morning because it makes me feel like a dirty little addiction 😉

I really don’t think so. I requested his motion and it was the recycled justification of me and “The Other Woman” plotting some sort of revenge against him. It would almost be funny if it went back to court (of course, I say that now…) because both she and I would be there to tag team take him down. Of course there’s no telling what way she would be flipping or flopping at that point so maybe it’s best to hope it never happens!

Arden! Yay, so glad you are already here! They say that memory is very subjective and that if you aren’t careful you can insert all sorts of fictional things into your recollection… thanks to your comments I’m pretty sure I remember you knocking a chair over, throwing both your hands in the air and going “BOOYAH! IN YOUR FACE, BITCH LAWYER!”

GAAAHHHHHHHH!!! What a pieceofshitmotherfuckingdickheadedassfuckwaddouchebagfuck!
Honestly? Really? WTF?! All right you lowlifefuckingpieceofshitfuckface. You lost. You LOST. Hang you head and walk away. NOT go try to get the restraining order vacated. This sounds like a sure way for you to check out what it will be like to tase someone Aussa! Please try to remember to use the bee spray first tho, blind him temporarily before you tase him.(just so we can check that theory too). Do you have to reload a taser? Bee spray, tase, reload, tase, reload, tase, run away. Maybe kick a couple times first. Then call for help. You’ve been attacked. Geeze! Really. What do you think happens to some people to make them like this?

Karma is especially beautiful when you get to watch it! Just as long as you don’t let your big heart get in the way and for some stupid reason feel sorry for the pond scum that Karma is having her way with.

I don’t have a blog, I force all my favorite bloggers to endure my ramblings. its better this way, I don’t have to worry about who is reading what I say, or numbers or any of the other worries that come with a blog.

You can really do this Aussa. You have a gift. I have told you before you really draw your reader in. I want you to know that. I was there. I really REALLY wanted to be there too, I mean for real, but your words brought me into that courtroom.

Aw, I love you Julie! Love the long stream of insults– kind of want to see them carved into a piece of woodwork. Is it weird that that was my first thought?

Tasers have to be reloaded if you want to shoot someone– if you just want to tase them like you see in the movies, I think it can go for hours and hours on one battery haha. I’ve actually really thought about the whole kicking while tasing thing… I’ve had discussions with the cop brothers about the legality of this. Not gonna lie, I’m inclined to take the opportunity if it presents itself.

There’s no telling why he ended up like this– I’ve tried to wrap my mind around it, based on what I know of his upbringing but I think it probably is some sort of something inside of him. Sociopath, narcissist.. not sure.

Thank you again, so much Julie! And yeah– flash floods! An alert started going off on my phone and people were closing shops and telling me to run to higher ground. Ultimate “dafuq” moment of my life!

Thank you Aussa! courtsey of my wonderful EX husband. He taught me how to do that when I found out he was taping my home phone. My best friend and I would do that for about 3 minutes everytime we got on the phone, you know, to say “hi” to him too. Cause we were just nice that way. It kinda turned into a game to come up with something new without repeating ourselves or each other.

Your pieceofshitfuckheadratbastardmotherfuckingpricksuckingbagofshitfucker seems like he deserves the same.

Perhaps we could start up that woodwork sign business? I believe I have a dremel… You know, when you are not busy being a detective, or a ninja..or a hacker.. or a spy..or a hooker… you know, in your spare time. Ok, I will do all the carving, you just take the orders Ok??

I think they should bring back stoning. Nothing like throwing a fist sized rock at his head. Be sure to wear gloves (don’t leave any finger prints). And record the whole thing. I like a good stoning. Get biblical on his ass. Lucy

Very very true, Stacy. In my little fantasy world in my head I like to imagine that he’s learned his lesson, is laying low, and just trying to make ends meet and leave everyone alone. No telling whether that’s true or not… guys like this seem to have a pattern. Hopefully he’s too busy worrying about social security and overdraft fees or something, haha

Is it wrong that this, “I had to either wait for blank-stare-attorney to let me know, my employer’s asshat legal team to remember how to write e-mails, or for him to kick in my door and kill me in my sleep.” made me laugh out loud? Probably, but I assumed since you were typing that the last one didn’t happen so…

I like a little mystery, but I also want some resolution before I die or lose interest as well. I’m glad you are finally winning at life, Aussa. You’re a pretty spectacular hot mess, in a good way. You deserve good things and I hope you find them.

I started my blog because my wife was tired of me harassing everyone on FB. I sort of still do both, so I guess that didn’t work out for her so well. Lol.

Ha! That’s hilarious. Um, yes– you definitely still harass people on facebook, I know this well… 😉

And yeah I think we were all on the brink of losing interest if this story didn’t finally wrap up, haha. Thanks for thinking my hot-messness is spectacular *blushes*

Also! Glad it made you laugh aloud. It’s a dark sort of humor– I still worry about it happening but it’s more in the form of fleeting thoughts when I’m washing my face and imagining that horrible scene from every movie where he’s standing behind me in the mirror. Confession: I actually think that every.single.time.

I hear you. I’ve had many many women tell me that a piece of paper isn’t going to protect them from their crazy ex boyfriend, husband, etc. Oftentimes, it would tear me up that I had to leave a woman alone with nothing more than a restraining order how to pamphlet and vague assurances that I’d stay close by during the rest of my shift, if I could. The piece of paper won’t protect you physically, but it shows the system that the person is trying and genuinely scared, etc. Domestic violence sucks ass, I guess is what i’m saying.

Yeah, I’d imagine you see so much of it too :-/ I know my cop brothers have lots of similar stories. Even though it’s “just a piece of paper” it’s a record, like you said. If there’s anything I regret, it’s that I didn’t start establishing a paper record sooner. Paper can be pretty damn powerful when shit starts hitting the fan.

I know. It absolutely blows my mind… Sadly, that is the place where I work and that is the sort of response so many of those sort of allegations have gotten in the past. I like to believe that things are improving, if not slowly, but it’s still appalling that a place that’s meant to care for vulnerable people can so easily attract predators. Ah, comeuppance– I revel in it 😉

It’s kind of entertaining to write/talk about, if I’m honest. Though it’s also kind of exhausting too– ha. It was a hellish ordeal to go through but it feels like a thing of the past… so that’s good! Writing it out probably further separated it from my insides too.

Thank you, Julie! It’s kind of a crazy long story to take in at once… I kind of can’t believe how long it took to spread it out, I started in January. Madness. And yeah– he’s a class a f*cker that’s for sure. But based off so many of the comments and other posts I’ve read, he’s not even all that rare. He may have his little special nuances but these men are out there. *grrrr*

That is what is so freaking scary about them, Aussa! They’re not uncommon, and the fact that they are just so clever and manipulative! When people look at you sideways, because, how could you SAY SUCH A THING about such a wonderful human…

My father is in this same group– people on the outside just adore him and it’s annoying when I’m out and run into people who ask after him. I want to be like “well, he survived prostate cancer and that was really annoying.” Gah, I don’t mean that. At least… not entirely.

I feel a little guilty getting so much enjoyment at your expense but with your incredible sense of humor and this Law and Order type incident, I’m not gonna lie – I’m having the time of my life over here.

Again, I can’t comment exactly with what I would like to comment, so I’ll answer the safe question! I started my blog because I wanted to get more into writing and acting, and thought of using a blog as a kind of showcase for those things, but as time went on, I found that I really liked blogging for the sake of blogging, and especially the interractions with everyone else which I hadn’t expected. I can’t wait for your juicy secret reveal! You tease you!

You and YOUR juicy secrets, Vanessa! The level of interaction and community that comes from blogging really is astounding… I had no idea when I started that it would be like becoming a citizen of this whole other world. It’s pretty damn cool.

A happy ending or sad ending is entirely up to where it was ended. I think this is a good ending for now 🙂 Though it is weird to think the story goes on, hanging upon a hook, waiting to be lifted by some judge. Will they let you know if the judge throws it out?

I feel like it’s a good ending 🙂 On the last day I testified, the boyfriend took me to my favorite greenhouse and bought me flowers, then we went out to dinner and got tipsy. Then there was a vacation and then there was the hilarity of going over all these transcripts and documents once they were released to me. It’s a crap situation but we made the best of it 😀 and it’s a story that is mine now. I like having stories, good and bad and confusing.

I don’t know if they will inform me. I can log on and review the online court records so I periodically do that just to see if there has been any sort of change… usually I think to do this when it’s like 2AM and I can’t sleep haha

Haha! That’s high praise, those sorts of endings are the reason why Netflix so often trumps sleepness. And yeah! She was tied up in a closet at a Laundromat where she worked. Totally crazy. She dropped that story on me while we were out Christmas shopping the year before last. People’s lives… are nuts.

He got his just rewards, and you kicked that lawyers ass all over the place! She took a beating and will never forget you that’s for sure. So glad that you won and that we all got to read this awesome story. Bravo!

It’s so funny how Bitch Lawyer really emerges as a villain in the story– I don’t know what sort of thick skin she must have but honestly… I feel like you might be right and she might remember me. The look of loathing in her eyes… and that posture of someone who is having a very, very bad day… Definitely epic 😉

Aussa, a fantastic conclusion to a fantastic story. Had you not endured this, WordPress may not have come to know such a superb and interesting story teller, and ours would be a poorer blogosphere because of it.

Comeuppance? Ah, you toy with me, Madam. Let’s me see… hmmmmm:

– Ontario’s child “protection” system
– The Ontario Court of (In)Justice
– The Ontario Superior Court of (In)Justice
– The Ontario Judicial Council
– The Ontario Government
– The Ontario Family “Responsibility” Office
– The Ontario College of Social Work and Social Service Work
– The National Judicial Institute
– The Canadian Judicial Council
– The Supreme Court of Canada
– The Canadian Department of Justice
– The Canada Revenue Agency
– Social work
– Feminists and feminist sycophants
– Canada’s fundamentally biased judges, in general

In other words, the Matriarchy. I tend to think in big picture terms. Book One is a targeted comeuppance nuclear strike. Book Two is comeuppance Armageddon; not only will there be no prisoners, there’ll be no survivors.

I read the first several pages one day when I was in a waiting room– I like getting randomly stranded sometimes because it lets me do that sort of stuff. I have it in my Kindle app. I haven’t read a book in MONTHS other than for school :-/ My schedule is horrific, I try not to complain but the walls feel like they’re closing in sometimes haha. But especially after this long list of comeuppance I am all the more intrigued!

*delete-delete-delete* Almost went serious there, for a second. I think the book and its sequel will win the Grand Ultimate Nobel Prize of Nobel Prizes for Comeuppancy. Heavyweight Star Trek NG Quantum Comeuppancy Torpedo of Doom. With, of course, a little dry humour mixed in to help cement the Comeuppancy Matrix.

Have to have a Matrix. If you feel the Earth start shaking after reading it, don’t be alarmed. };-)>

Say, did I ever send you my test reader feedback on the book? Getting old, and the memory isn’t what it used to be.

You go girl. Set up your cliffhanger. It’s like Grey’s Anatomy. Only set in court and a psych hospital and its about a turd that gets what he deserves.
Only it is not like Grey’s; for this shit is real. But highly entertaining nonetheless.

Hahaha! I adore this comment! Like Grey’s Anatomy– *fist pump* That show is so ridiculous… I watched 7 seasons of it in the lead up to leaving the country a few years ago and then returned just in time to live with a girl who was binging on them all over again. I sometimes find myself thinking of life through a filter of Greys…

The waiting is almost over, promise! This is just a fun little tidbit that puts a smile on my face anytime I think about it 😉

And yeah– jail. Seriously. That’s where he ought to be. I had the option of trying to press charges for the harassment, stalking, the photo sending thing… but I try to (for the most part) just play the defensive and not go on the offense. I would rather move on with my life… but I swear if he comes back… I might get a little crazy, haha.

He wouldn’t be able to repeal the order without me being notified and summoned to appear in court and I think there’s only like a .00001% chance he would succeed. There is just WAY too much stacked against him. I have an entire shelf in my office dedicated to all the crap I have on him. I think he just likes to A) know that he hasn’t “let me win” and B) humiliate me and do what he can to keep me from being happy.

I will never understand why people think it’s okay to bother us with work related questions and requests while we are at work. The nerve, indeed.

I will try not to fall off the face of the earth– I’ve actually worried about this before… if something bad were to happen and I had no way of letting everyone know… maybe I need some fail safe “RIP” post sitting in draft to be published posthumously.

Calm down, Aussa.

That’s interesting about your blog title! I’ve actually wondered several times what the meaning behind it was.

There is also a secret to my blog title, which is the reason I have never, umm, updated it. I lost both of my sisters, one at 47 and one at 61. 54.5 is the average, so I feel like I’m beating the odds every time I look at the title. I was always the sick one …

As for you, you will be fine. What idiot would mess with you. Perhaps you should print copies of all of these posts to hand out should some fool try to intimidate you. “Maybe before you threaten me, you might want to see just how I fucked over the last guy who tried …”

This is no better than the last episode of The Sopranos when everything just went black. What kind of ending is that?!? No ending at all. So now what? we all have to stand by and wonder if/when the restraining order is lifted? Boy. Thanks a lot.

I kind of want to blog about Mary. Or perhaps just a breakdown of our typical EMT meeting… she just smiles and compliments everyone and talks about what a great job we’re all doing, even when the point of the meeting is to talk about what a horrible job we’re all doing.

I never watched the Sopranos but I’ve heard tales of this infamous ending…. Apparently “Breaking Bad” has one of the best endings ever… I’ll find that out in like 2 years when I’ve had a chance to get through it all.

And hey! I’ll be standing around waiting with you as well! You know… the restraining order is only good until August 2015 anyways :-/ Hopefully I will have fled the state by then.

Is she religious? I’m serious. My mother was deeply spiritual (although not a fanatic, thank God) and she had a perpetually cheerful demeanor. I think a lot of people who embrace a religion are like that.

I, too, have never seen an episode of Breaking Bad, however, I just saw Bryan Cranston play LBJ in a Broadway show. He was astonishing. He owned the stage. If you care anything at all about political theater, you should consider seeing it while you’re out here. Hummm…I should do a post about it.

And… she actually is NOT religious at all. But she seems like that stereotypically churchy sort of person. I have no idea how or why she is like that, it’s baffling and kind of hilarious. Her wife also works at the hospital and is this really blunt deadpan sort of person so maybe they just even each other out.

Truth is way stranger than fiction any day of the week. And I LOVE that asshat got what’s coming to him. Will definitely be checking in Sunday to see what else you’ve got for us. As for me, I’ve been seriously done wrong by someone. And I will wait until he either comes down with cancer, has a heart attack, or a stroke. I know for a fact that something like that will get him.

This is the best story I’ve ever read that begins “Bitch Lawyer … ” It’s also the only story I’ve ever read that begins “Bitch Lawyer … ” but that’s beside the point.

On a serious note, congratulations on finally nailing this guy’s ass. If somebody 20 years earlier had taken the time and made the effort you did, just think of all the lives that he wouldn’t have been able to screw with. Well done!

I would bet money that you have spared someone else from going through what you had the misfortune to endure. It takes guts to stand up to a bully, which is why so many companies, organizations, etc. give them a free pass when they’re made aware of this sort of malevolent behavior.

Best cherry EVER.
What an utter ass hat….he has done every single gross nasty creepy bad human thing it sounds like. Scum.
On the extreme survival self protection end, which I train and teach, my short version is:
If threatened/attacked:

EYES, THROAT, GROIN….WINDOWS, WIND, WHEELS.

Extremely vulnerable targets, take them out…HIT HARD AS YOU CAN. SCREAM AS LOUD AS YOU CAN.

I struggled today with an ending of a story and kept it open. it is more fun that way. like an adventure let it take you instead of taking it to where ever we go.
I started so i could rant and now i write stories have a thought of the day and write an occasional poem.
I love what i do and will see where life takes me next.

this has been blast. now show us your winning dance 😛
and somehow those dogs always survive.

First of all, “most stories never really complete themselves– they just bow out and make way for something else” was such a moving statement. Damn you got a way with words.
This reminded me of my ex. We ended a long-term relationship when I discovered the skeletons living in his closet. They were horrifying. And though I had moved on, he felt like I deserved to have a miserable life. I even moved without telling anyone so he wouldn’t find me. That was many years ago. But to this day, I still am amazing by the amount of charisma and charm he was able to hide his true self behind. People loved him, but nobody knew he was a monster.

I feel like you’ve almost gotten to the end of your VOLUME ONE, darling. I remember how that felt to wrap up a big story. Congratulations, and thank you. It’s been a wonderful ride. Can’t wait to hear more stories. So glad I met you here, and so glad that this at least is over.

Wow. Usually anytime someone tells me a story, I can think of something similar that happened to me. But, you’ve got me stumped, dear woman. I have a question but don’t know how to ask without it coming out wrong. I’m curious as to how so many people were fooled by this guy. I mean, from what you’ve written, his inappropriate, aggressive attitude and behavior seems so blatant. Perhaps he keeps it under wraps until one gets to know him? I have a few more questions. Would you have to have another big court scene if his request is granted? Where is he now? Does he know where you are? I have a friend whose ex-husband married after her. That second wife took him to court for domestic violence. He is an attorney but lost his job and pretty much everything. He is about to get evicted from his home and will be homeless. If the fates allow, perhaps the same will happen to psycho ex.

Such good questions, Lori! His crazy was definitely blatant at this point but I think it was because everything was crumbling. Apparently he was a functioning alcoholic for a really time and then got sober for several years… held his shit together, was impressive, etc. He started drinking again about… I think The Other Woman said it was like maybe 6 months before we got together. Then he added pills. Then he added me. Dangerous combination. I think he just snapped– because when I first started dating him he was this suave, charming, other-worldly sort of guy and by the time I broke up with him he was a complete disaster. He brought about his own ruin for sure but I think I just expedited it.

If his request is granted, it would be a short hearing just like the original restraining order hearing (I assume). So like an hour or so of just going back and forth with the cliffsnotes of this same stuff. Luckily this judge’s ruling covers every aspect of the trial so I would just hand that over for the new judge to read.

I’ve tried to not do toooo much snooping into his wherabouts. I try to remain aware enough to be safe but I prefer not to think about him. He moved to a total shit area of the city where rent is cheap and his sort of scumbags are prevalent. Theoretically, our paths really should’t cross… I have moved twice so he hopefully doesn’t know where I am. Because of the restraining order my address is protected, I don’t get any mail at my house, so it’s difficult to look me up.

It’s hard to imagine what he could possibly be doing for a job after all this time… perhaps a little espionage would be a fun project at some point… but I like to stay away.

If I had my wish, I’d prefer you stay away too. Just wondered if you’ve had any contact or word about him. Thank God you haven’t. Though I’m no psychologist, I do enjoy a good psychological mystery. I find it curious how this guy sounds a bit like your dad. It’s really fascinating to me how we continue patterns until we wake up and then finally break them. It took me some time to wake up from my family’s dysfunctional pattern (and a 1,200 mile away move). It figures that I’m the one who stopped the pattern, but then couldn’t have kids. The one with the kids are spreading the pattern. Go figure. Anyway, thanks for answering my questions.

He is a LOT like my dad. I mean… minus the homosexuality thing. But the double life/webs of deception/mastermind at manipulation is spot on. I’ve dated another guy like that too. It took a while to work through that pattern in my head… lots of self loathing and soul searching to try and realize that NO, I don’t deserve it but that I was sort of seeking out these same abusive patterns whether I was aware of it or not.

Yep, that’s what I thought. Didn’t want to come out and say it too directly in case it sounded too forward. I love that you faced it and worked on it. I’m so into how the mind works and needs to retrain. It’s fascinating. Thank you for sharing not only your travel journeys, but your emotional journeys as well.

Well at least the hard part is over. He needs he ass kicked for putting you through all of this because he is selfish. He has nothing better to do now with his life I guess so now he is going to #tryit again. He obviuos forgot in that short amount of time who he was dealing with. hmoh

Isn’t is crazy how you can be with someone and then down the road find out what a nut case they really are? I’ve had one too many of those relationships.
I’m happy it’s hopefully over, but more happy that you started this blog!

Iiiiii knooooow! It’s absolute Lifetime Movie stuff. There was some book I read when I was younger… by Mary Higgins Clark and I was WAY too young to be reading her and it was that sort of premise: “I don’t know this man I married.” Little did I know I’d go on to follow in that path for a little while. At least we’ve both managed to get out of them!

I remember that book! You could easy write a book that could be turned into a Lifetime Movie, you’ve got some great stuff, Aussa.
Yes, thankfully we got out before things got more serious. Can you imagine being married to a nut like that? That’s why I’m all for a longer engagement because we never truly know a person.

Well, it isn’t officially revoked! There’s just a chance that he might be able to TRY. Such an arse. I’ll have to have a contingency plan for what to do if he somehow succeeds. I could have fun with this…

“Mary is one of the most positive and sunshiney people I’ve ever met She leaks rainbows and unicorns out of all her orifices.”

I imagine she is always decked out in Lisa Frank style clothing she magically found in an adult size.

Also, what an ass. But, after this ruling, surly it’s obvious the only reason to remove the restraining order is so he can fuck with you.

Lastly, I can think of a few people who I would like to see Karma kick, but I’m still waiting. Maybe some things take a few decades to build up.

Is it okay for me to ask…. what originally attracted you to Psycho Ex in the first place? Even if the reason was a malicious lie concocted in order to seduce you away to crazy town, there must have been something? Sorry if that’s a question you don’t want to answer. You don’t have to. I’m just expressing my curiosity.

Wait, wait, one more thing: I think fiction that ends with a mystery is fun because you get to spend all this time thinking about what the true ending might be. It’s not so fun in real life because, as much as I would live tweet the shit out of #AussaBeatDown, I do not want you to deal with anything like this ever again. No one should have to go through this.

No worries on the question– I’m totally rambling all about it so it’s cool to ask. What attracted me to him? It’s hard to say for sure… First off: I had NO CLUE he was thaaaat much older than me. I assumed he was maybe 36 or so.

He was incredibly charming but not in a gregarious sort of way. A patient asked me about a bracelet I was wearing, I told her it was from Laos and he started talking about having been there– naming cities and things specifically enough that it was obvious he was telling the truth.
*swoon*
He’d traveled everywhere, he had great stories and he was good at doing all those chivalrous romantic things that make girls all gah gah in the beginning. Yep, I’m easy like that.

And it just built from there. It took two months before I agreed to go out with him but after that it just took off.

Bellissimo!!!!! Felicitazioni!!!!! I’m clapping the house down – there was resolution in there enough for me 😀 Psycho Ex and Bitch Lawyer are probably having an illicit affair that’s going to end horribly for both of them and that can be the icing on the FU cake to both of them… plus if he manages to overturn a restraining order after all that, I’ll eat my hat… I hope it’s more likely he ends up in jail (where it soundeth like he belongeth). *victory dance*

It’s crazy to me what some people are busted and held accountable for– petty non-violent shit– when guys like this get to roam free. I wish all sorts of public humiliation and self-hatred on that ex of yours.

Still contending that Psycho Ex’s attorney accepted payment through “other means.” 😉 Also, best ending to a story! Way to leave the door open for more, have a cliff hanger, and lay the smackdown. I want to be there for this trial myself haha, if it ever does come I’ll be stuck on Twitter for the whole thing haha.
Also… I think I recognize your little mountain picture 🙂 If I’m right, nice choice 🙂

That would be awesome! I need some sort of pinging map that tells me where everyone is. Good lord that sounds stalkery.

I was chatting with Laura Lord a few minutes ago and told her I wanted to create an address book so I had everyone’s contact info consolidated. She was like:
“…… you mean like their actual address?”
Hahahaha UM NO. Though I guess that could be fun too. I just meant like e-mail addresses!!!!! So funny. Yes, tell me where you live so I can look you up on google earth…

Hahahaha… you are adorable 😀 I know I’d love a map saying where everyone is! Totally stalker-y though. I might be lying if I said I hadn’t tried to figure out where you are… *innocent whistling* *and blushing* *and shame at my stalking* Although I know you have it cloaked for a REALLY DAMN GOOD REASON as listed in this post, for one. =P
I maybe should have been a little more cloaked when I started putting all my personal shiz on the internet haha… trying to hide my blog from my dad takes a lot of energy sometimes.
But it would be fun to see everyone’s flags, then plan a super epic roadtrip meetup in a town equidistant to all of us (and believe me I’ll draw lines haha), which might be epically awesome since I know at least Deanna lives in Germany! Yay overseas trip! 😉
Now I’m off topic. And it is an AWESOME place to live. Seriously awesome. Which is why you should come visit me. 😉 Maybe we can start with BlogHer; I’m determined to do everything in my power to get there this summer.

As a man of faith I woulnt be surprised if that re-trial was to happen whileI’m State-side for Sturgis next year, cos I would love to be there for that…Ranger Schmanger, wait till he comes across a REDdog!

Well, I sort of figured this would be the turnout, I mean I knew you ‘won’, but him trying to revoke the restraining order puts all sorts of red flags up girl. Be careful, as I know of what I speak. Why the hell do you think I”m in Canada? Anyway, I will always cheer you on, but you know that. We have yet to open our PI business. LOL Damn, we would be good!
As for why I started my blog? Because I’m in introvert and need to write. A lot. Oh also I have my stories to tell too, even though they aren’t near as exciting as yours!

I heard your ROAR. I’m still hearing you ROAR. And why I can’t understand why in the hell anyone in their right mind would dismiss your restraining order against him, congratulations on the verdict!! You most certainly had to start a blog and thank gawd you did as I don’t know how I would live without my Aussa fix!

I guess you’re right; most stories do just bow out, which is what he needs to do. I started my blog bc I had a cold and needed some way to complain about the restaurant that night NOT giving me all five baked potato toppings: butter, sour cream, chives, bacon, and cheese. These should not cost extra. First World Problems. Not quite a trip to Laos. Also, I hope that el senor D-bag is no longer living.

That is probably the best reason I have ever heard. They charged you extra for those toppings??? Do they not know what a baked potato is? I call foul. That wasn’t a real restaurant. I”m thinking it was a front for some sort of Russian arms dealer.

You know, perhaps he should return to the psych ward. AS A PATIENT! Holy crap! He may not have been held accountable before for all of his horrific “activities,” but I’m glad the justice system worked in your favor this time. What a whack job.

I’ve thought about that so many times. There have been staff in the past who’ve ended up as patients but I can’t imagine if it was him… he’d be hellacious to deal with, can’t even imagine. He’s a big dude! All those tales of me wrestling ex cons… yeah, they’d probably have to call me in 😉

hand on hip and head tilted with a dose of side eye — the Aussa Phoenix knows what’s up.

And, yes, the blogging community is so unexpectedly amazing. When we started Stunted Adults, it was just an inside joke between friends who moved far away from each other to stay close and then it has spiraled into something so much more. I’ve made friends (present company definitely included), been inspired, and its kept me interested in writing way longer than I ever anticipated. It’s the best!

Not here, I’m afraid. He did so under the claim that it was all a conspiracy by me and The Other Woman. It makes you wonder what the whole point is if they have the option to try and cancel it…. I’ve found nothing like this online though, just reconciling couples.

I’m so excited to see the conclusion of this. Though I suppose we are both in the same hellish limbo with our abusive exes. Mine inspired me to go to therapy. And I am weirdly grateful to him for that. And now, weirdly grateful to your ex. Because now I get to enjoy your blog…

But I am still not enlightened enough to not wish that they both die while drowning, in a burning building, that is being pushed over a ledge.

The trick is to keep a tiny core of pure fury at people who have hurt you. It’s like your own secret volcano. And your anger can turn someone or something into carbon ash in a millisecond. Plus, you have geothermal hot spots that keep you warm in the winter.

I know I don’t really talk about my serious issues on this blog. But I don’t know where I would be right now without therapy. It has probably literally saved my life.

Hahaha! I’m glad you find my weirdness quotable. I don’t think I could even stop if I tried. I have to be so reserved and professional at work that my mouth is exhausted from trying to keep me employed by the end of the day. And all this shit comes out. Thank god I have a blog .

I started mine with the intention to write my “memoirs” between my 29th and 30th birthdays…but I got so wrapped up in the blogosphere and the humor of my present life that I fell in love with blogging and just told the story that fit best with each day and building a community.

I think it’s kind of fun to just let go and see where the blog takes you, not be too restrictive with it all. And yep– writing about the humor of life = the best.

So I feel like we need to have super secret insider information trade conversations about BlogHer. It’s like a million years away but I haven’t gone to summer camp in ages so I’m looking forward to it.

I’m SO excited for BlogHer I can’t even begin to tell you! I know you’re a new addition to my BlogLife, but I’m pretty stoked to meet ya. Also, if you want to catch me on the Google Hangout thing, I pretty much live there. quirkychrissy @ the gmail.

I do feel like you’re being too harsh for his attorney though. After all, she’s only doing her job, and she just repeated whatever he said to her. It’s not her job to verify this information (is it?), only to use it in court. I’d say the methods she used aren’t even all that unorthodox in that particular line of work. Again, she’s only reproducing what she got told/taught (I’m not saying that isn’t an a-hole way to attempt winning a trial, because it is).

That being said, congratulations on your victory (so far)! 🙂 I hope everything has turned out well for you in the meantime and Psycho Ex has had some time to think about his mistakes… and realise they can’t be set right anymore.

I don’t think it’s her job to verify his facts and from what I’ve heard, her tactics probably are pretty routine. Still… I’ve been in termination hearings before and when you’re going after someone for XYZ we don’t typically try to defame their character and be like “yeah she buys junk food with her government assistance!” or some other random judgey comment. I mean… if that’s par for the course then maybe she WAS doing her job by slut-shaming me. But she was a total bitch about it which is why I’m calling her one 😉

Twindaddy: you don’t have to let that happen. Don’t deny your own agency. You can stick up for women who are being trashed, one way or the other. Word gets around. We know that some men fight against this crap and have our backs.

What a story. I’m so sorry you had to go through it. You could make it into a movie though and make mega bucks. Who would play you?
I work deep enough in the legal stuff that I see so many stories like this, and I can never get my head round how these lawyers can defend someone they know is a complete nut job, lying piece of shit, abuser, drug user, wife beater, defiler, whatever – they know they did it, but they still defend them! NO way I could do that, my disgust would show all over my face.

And that’s nuts– a lot of people are like “no, it can’t be that bad” but then I hear from people like you who are like “uh, YEAH, it is.” I know that there’s that whole constitutional right to trial and blah blah blah but I’m right there with you– there’s no way I could use my brain or my words to defend such a low life. No way.

Let me tell you, if this motherfucking piece of shit douchewaffle even so much as comes within spitting distance of you, I can pretty much guarantee that a group of your WordPress sister-wives, one of whom is a gay man’s hat wearing project girl in black leather shorts, will PUNCH HIM IN THE DICK repeatedly until he DIES.
You check with Beth, Laura, and the rest. We love you REDdog, but us WordPress chicks got this shit covered.

Oh I am dyyyiiiiiing laughing over here! Seriously, my dog was having this great dream where her tail was wagging in her sleep and I just ruined it for her because I laughed so hard. (Beth whips her head around “Did someone say hard?”)

I had to edit the shit out of those first couple sentences, they were rife with laughter-induced typos.

I just love thinking of my sister wife harem laying the beat down on this asshole, with you leading the charge in your gay man’s hat and leather short shorts. What a wonderful mental image.

I am serious. Now some of us are not here in the US- Lizzie, Deanna…
but whoever is, we will put a hurt on this man.

I think it would be fantastic if the whole Word Press sister wife harem wears black leather gay man’s hats and black leather shorts when we kick his sorry ass. Because THAT will look Revenge Porn.
Fucking Legendary.

Seriously, though, I’ve got my own leathers, and if you can use a 6’1″, 375# beary dude in denim and leather (*sigh* the pants don’t fit anymore) who will lick his lips and say, “Well, I’d say your ass was mine, but the missus won’t like that”, I’ll be your man. Seriously. I can still remember the first time I got them leathers during my last years at uni and some dude FREAKING out and running from me as fast as I can… honest, I wasn’t even feeling mean…

Well, since you read my blog, you probably know about The Loser – nothing as spectacular as your story, but after a lifetime of drug and alcohol abuse, three dysfunctional marriages where he emotionally and sometimes physically abused his wives, and finally going to jail for robbing the Wendy’s and (if we are to believe him) getting sober – he still hasn’t been able to establish any kind of relationship with his girls. My oldest got married – and he was not invited. She has since had a beautiful little girl of her own – and he has never met his grand-daughter. It may just be the bitchy coming out of me, but I hope he never does – some people are just toxic and I think this is just what he deserves.

Someday I may write a post about why I started my blog – it’s for all sorts of deep and somber reasons, and it’s kind of a bummer and makes me sad. I hate to be a Debbie Downer – and that is one reason my posts tend to be on the more lighthearted and humorous side – I didn’t want to WALLOW anymore and wanted to find some good in the bad, you know?

PS – I almost missed the part about the secret that is coming on Sunday! I’m all a’flutter with anticipation!

Ugh, that man most certainly earned his name– The Loser. It’s sad that your daughter wasn’t able to invite him to her wedding, but it’s smart. He doesn’t deserve that, just like he doesn’t deserve to know his granddaughter and I don’t think it’s bitchy at all to say that.

I think that a lot of us blog for somber reasons. I’ll admit that it surprises me though, because your blog definitely is full of funny stories! Finding good in the bad = my life mission. We just HAVE to and I’m convinced that it’s always there, hiding away, if we’re willing to look for it. Thanks for such a sincere comment, Jana 🙂

Whew! Even though I knew it was a happy ending, I was still holding my breath!! And yes, I’d prefer it all to be wrapped up with a nice bow, you are right that most of our life stories (especially the good/bad ones) don’t really end. They just become a part of us!
And, excellent cliff hanger to have me coming back! 🙂

WOW. That was amazing! And I’m cool with a little mystery in an ending. Real life is seldom neat and tidy.
The post was foreplay, and then you banged me into submission with that teaser at the end. Thanks for the blogasm, sister wife.
*smoking cig*
Can’t. Wait. Till Sunday.

Awesome ending to an awesome story. Sorry about the pain in the ass of maybe having the restraining order lifted. But it kinda reminds me of Chalie Manson having parole hearings. A perfect way to tie up the courts and waste tax payers money, but no way in HELL it would ever happen. Nobody should have to live in fear, and feel like the have to move just to feel safe from someone who should not even be allowed their OWN freedom. Be well Aussa, and I can’t wait til I can read your next adventuresome tale.

Thank you John 🙂 Excellent parallel to the Charles Manson parole hearings, that’s hopefully spot on. I hate that I had to move several times to stay away from him but it’s sadly true– I never feel so safe as when I am not in the city where I live! It’s a whole other reason to travel, ha. Thanks for reading along and… more adventures soon 😉

Aussa, I think that’s enough closure for me, for now. Seriously, you had me worried that you were gonna lose, but I’m glad justice was served. I have to wonder, though, psycho-ex sounds like such a classical doucheberry, I honestly don’t know if I’ve met someone like that before.

Well, if there’s another part to resolve the restraining order, I’m here. Thanks for amazingly entertaining me.

I was worried I was going to lose too! Even though it was all so hilarious and awkward and absurd, the burden of proof was on us and so much of what was presented would be considered circumstantial, even though it was obvious as hell.

You probably have met someone like him, you just didn’t realize haha. I think these kinds of people are more common than we realize. Snakes in the grass…. but there I go being all cynical. And it’s Friday! Cynicism is for Mondays.

I am not in your league, my friend – there are massive numbers of people who eat up your words, and rightly so. I think you’re a talent. Anyway, enough asskissery on my part, but I figure it shan’t hurt to do a bit, you seem too classy to let it go directly to your head.

*struts around*
*hair toss*
Oh, I would never let it go to my head.
But what were you saying? Tell me more.

Just kidding. Gosh, I keep saying so many awkward things on the internet today. I guess the people physically in my vicinity are being spared because of it though… Consider yourself a martyr.

And: idk about leagues. You write fiction and conjure up all sorts of thoughts and images and worlds in your head. I haven’t done that since like high school so I’m in awe of anyone who does so. I hope to get there… and when I do, I’ll be stalking your steps, trying to learn your tricks.

Dude, toss that hair… I like martyr status, but I don’t think you’re awful awkward compared to some around here, in terms of comments.

From an audience, viewership perspective, yes definitely leagues apart. I think your writing style is really natural, and flows so well. I don’t really think there’s much difference between what you do and fiction anyway, I really think you should try, I would read for sure.

I frickin’ LOVE this story. Someone theorized at work recently that when a tyrant realizes that he/she has lost control of something major, they use any method to which they have the easiest access to make themselves feel like they have some tiny semblance of power; like pointless email arguments, rehashing old disputes or bullying easy targets. Control-freaks usually have the biggest problem when they don’t get the results they most want and it can be fun sometimes to sit back and keep an ear out for the tiny Sam Kinison screaming in their heads! Good luck, Aussa! 🙂

I think that makes a lot of sense. That’s honestly how it felt… like he was no longer making big picture decisions but was just running around frantically, grasping for anything that would give him a power trip *fix.* I suppose this same theory might apply to a lot of us in a much smaller way… I know that when I feel all beat down and loser-ish I’m like “I need a win!” But it’s amplified by like a gillion if you’re a narcissistic asshat I suppose 😉

Uh… It’s going to be a never ending saga. I forgot he was that much older than you. You would think he would have grown up by now. You would think… Thank you for sharing that story. Sharing, writing, the ordeal… all of this adds up to overcoming an overwhelming experience that no one should have to go through. But, as scary as it is, it’s life. You’re a stronger person for it.

Anyways, I’m glad you got the final/recent installment up. I’ve been eating the same bowl of popcorn for weeks–superstition, I tell ya–and it’s getting kind of stale…. the popcorn, not your storytelling.

You are hilarious– eating the same stale popcorn for a week out of superstition. But it seems to have worked. If time is not really linear then it’s possible that I actually have YOU to thank for the fact that this all worked out. Maybe it was this ritual here that saved me in the past.
*mind explodes*

Well thank feck for that, and about time too! Loser got served. Now you, what about that novel you mentioned writing? You could totally put all that action, drama, and cliffhanger techniques into a blockbuster tome…Huzzah!

Thanks Jackie, huzzah! Oh man… I have a memoir-y type thing to write… probably more absurd than fiction. Will be working on it soon– summerish. If I wrote this story out they would probably put it between the Mary Higgins Clark and TrueCrime paperbacks in the grocery store 😉

Kelly MacKenzie and I seem to be a lot alike. I was doing just fine with the whole “nebulous ending” thing because you TOLD US AS MUCH AS YOU KNEW. Therefore we were all in the dark together. If I stopped reading at that point, all would have been well. But then you added the Burnt Sienna (do I know my crayola fonts or what?) asterisk wording, and now I’m teaming up with Kelly….she can inhale and I’ll exhale, I suppose. Tell! Tell! Tell! Juicy Tidbits are the kind of dangling carrots that drive OCD victims bonkers.
Stephanie
ps. Lola turns her back on me indignantly when I call her Zola. And I love the letter Z.

I am WAY impressed with your mastery of Crayola shades! I’ve never played with font colors before but I decided to get all ambitious and awkward and start clicking random buttons. And it just seemed like a juicy tidbit should have it’s own color… even if it was a bit demure.

Aw, poor Lola! She just wants to be loved for her true self! When I call Zola Zola she just looks at me like “Yes? Do you have a gift or some affection to lavish on me?”

Must click on that when I get away from a monitored work computer! I think certain terms trip off the red flags :-/ But yeah– I think a lot of people blog for very similar reasons. The internet is pretty amazing for giving us the ability to simultaneously enjoy the effects of a journal, therapy session, and community at the same time.

Wouldn’t that be amazing? So often these sorts of people get busted for the most asinine thing in the end. Maybe he’ll get picked up for some petty crime and then fight the cops and voila! Prison. *fingers crossed*

I tentatively agree with you on that. I think it does come and just doesn’t necessarily look like what we want. Maybe sometimes we don’t get to see it either but it’s going on behind closed doors or on the inside. Again, that’s why going on to lead a happy life is the best form of revenge.

That’s crazy that they apologized after 5 years. I suppose it’s good they finally did… I know, all too well, that feeling of wanting someone to just acknowledge that they’ve wronged you. As far as Psycho Ex goes, I don’t have that desire at all! I’d just prefer for him to stay vanished 🙂

I don’t mind this sort of unfinished story. I must agree, even the stories we think are finished sometimes pop up again with a new chapter.
I had a child in my care, years ago, extended family. The parents were convinced the child was allergic to my dog. But I had had the dog for over a year, and the boy for over 8 months when the child presented with breathing trouble. The mother said she couldn’t let me care for him at our house anymore, and I understood that. But then she wanted me to provide in-home care at their house. Just bring my kids over there. Every day, five days a week. Uh, no. So we didn’t agree and that was the end of that. I saw it as her trying to make me her nanny, and she saw it as a way to exclude me if I didn’t do what she wanted.
Except, months later, it was discovered that black mold had been festering in their house since it was built. When they all got sick, instead of just the boy, I heard about it through the family. My first thought was “Oh how awful!” but then a blink later, “Oh. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! My dog. Fuckfaces!”
So yeah, It’s been 15 years, and I’ve yet to receive my apology…*winks*

Haha! Wow. That’s funny– and a little bit scary about the black mold! I can’t believe she expected you to take all of your kids over to her house everyday… wowowowow. Some people’s entitlement… is special.

This reminds me of my Sister in Law when we were younger– she had just had her first daughter and was in that crazy overly protective irrational mode. I was living in the college dorms but came home because I was sick. They were staying with my parents while their house was being finished and she was so angry that I was putting her child at risk of infection that she printed out signs and hung them everywhere, telling me not to touch or to wash my hands. My parents tried to talk to her about how it was insensitive and she made some remark about how she wouldn’t have gone to the side of the house where my bedroom was “unless [I] started stinking because [I] was dead.”
So special.

What a saga. I am so happy this is finally over for you. It was hella entertaining, don’t get me wrong – but WTF??? Really made me question humanity over and over and over again.
Congrats on ridding that piece of shit from your life. Not that I ever need an excuse to pop a bottle of Veuve, but, if there was ever an appropriate time, it is now. I raise a glass to you, lovely!

*clinks glasses together*
Thank you Nancy! There was definitely some champagne-drinking going on at the end of this whole debacle. Definitely makes you question humanity… as well as humanity’s ability to not question the flowing tide of bullshit that seems to surround us all.

i love the ending because this is just how life goes, it never is wrapped up in neat little bows. i am so happy for your victory and your strength. power on girl! i write my blog because i just love to tell stories and i love getting feedback and getting to know other writers. love it.

It scared me hearing about that psycho ex idiot… I mean, really?! He thought he could get away with trying to reverse the restraining order? I am very excited to read your next installment in this series. 😉 I can already imagine the delicious revenge you brought upon that sick man.

I do prefer stories with some mystery in the end. I usually don’t like when writers “tie too many bows” at the end, so to speak. I began blogging to document my writing endeavors a few years ago. 🙂 Speaking of that, I really need to re-focus some time on writing more blog posts about writing again!

And yes, you’re right that I should write more about writing. Soon, very soon! That’s great that you’ll be revising over the summer. I hope to finish my novel before summer’s end… and also get some revising in. 🙂

At the very least this should qualify for a Lifetime movie. You already have almost a script right here. lol Thanks for sharing your very interesting life. Honestly, this guy sounds like he should be a resident at the psych ward, not working in it.

Hahahaha if I were better at photoshop, I would totally create a Lifetime Movie Poster! Oh my gosh. That would be incredible haha. And you’re very right about his need to be on the other side of the walls– that’s like the ultimate punch line of this story.

I feel unsettled for you, knowing he’s still out there. The reality is these kinds of people aren’t capable of accepting a court’s decision. This has been an entertaining series of posts–the story of a mess of a human being. But I’m sure you’re still being very cautious, as you should. What an interesting reason for starting a blog…mine? I have no idea. LOL!

Unfortunately, my experience is mostly that people don’t get a comeuppance – they just keep douche nozzling their way through life, completely oblivious to the crap they’re walking around in and spreading it everywhere. That’s originally why I started my blog. The narcissist I was married to got away with a lot of my money – I was happy to buy him off – and from what I understand is now squatting inside someone else’s life.

That’s what these guys do– they’re like bottom feeders and they scuttle along from one source to another. Ugh. It’s hard for me to imagine my ex picking his life back up at all (it was in shambles last I heard) but I’m sure he’s found someone else to torment– because that’s what powers these men I think.

I still hold out hope for a comeuppance for your ex and all these other types of humans.

Well done Aussa. Fair play to you. What he was so cruel and twisted. Thank God you started a blog! I started one because of a boy too and that I was just completely angry at everything, just had to vent. It helps so much!

Hahaha, Wow, someone doesn’t know when to stop #PsychoEx !
Although I don’t have a twitter but I’m going to get one just for the sake of that live feed #AussaBeatDown
Looking at the bright side of things, I’m just happy all of this resulted in your awesome blog ! 🙂

Hahahaha I just wish I’d had someone tweeting through this whole original saga. Can you imagine?! Pure madness. I sometimes regret that I waited so long to start a blog… but if I’d been going through it in real time I’d probably be less capable of laughing at the whole thing!

I can totally imagine…Maybe your tweeting trend would have broken the Ellen’s Oscar Selfie record ! 😀
P.S I think you are totally right about the timing thing, Everything has a perfect time to occur and you definitely started this blog at a perfect time 🙂

So tempting to answer the “Why did you initially start your blog?”
Cuz I am vain.
Yep.

But as for comeuppance: I got my boss in Afghanistan shit-canned. I am proud of that and have written of it, using his real life name on my blog. I double-dog dare him to find me and watch him embarrass his ass with a physical challenge. As I beat him into stupid and drooling.

That’s what you call Vindication! I’m so in awe of you…and at the same time, a little bit worried about that pending retrial. You’d think once you’ve won the right to a restraining order, it would stick. Sort of like being able to permanently block someone on Twitter, right? 😉

Anyway, thanks to you and your ex, I now have a smidgeon more faith in the legal system, and the pleasures and merits of blogging (considering I only started my blog because I was told all hopeful writers had to have one) 🙂

Finally! And end to this insanity. I hate waiting. I am glad you won, but there was never any real doubt in my mind. I am shocked about the restraining order thing. I don’t know where you live, but I have never heard of such a thing. I think my mouth literally dropped open. Restraining orders can be incredibly difficult to get. That is an outrage.

My mouth dropped open when I heard it was possible to! It doesn’t make a damn bit of sense. Wouldn’t the fact that someone was appealing to have a restraining order removed from someone who obviously didn’t want to be around them be enough evidence to show that they are crazy and a big fan of forcing themselves on the protected person? Maybe that’s just way too logical for the justice system. Fingers crossed nothing ever comes of it!

Aw, thank you 🙂 This was definitely an incredibly validating story, especially after some of the other things that have happened to me that I feel were never really resolved. If anything, this will always make me push back at those who say it’s not worth fighting back. It almost always is.

Well if that wasn’t a bonus for being behind in reading your blog: IT IS ALREADY SUNDAY! Woot! I don’t have to wait. Nah, nah nah….oh sorry. I got a little carried away. 🙂

I can’t believe that RO ever get overturned unless both parties agree to it. That would make ever getting one irrelevant. That guy clearly has nothing else to do with his life. Hope he just leaves well enough alone and glad you have your Boyfran by your side.

Hahaha very true, you’ve found a loophole! It’s like waiting until an entire season comes out on Netflix… my next post will be up shortly 😉

I’m seriously hoping that’s the truth. It wouldn’t make sense otherwise… I kind of can’t believe they even let him file the motion to vacate it in the first place. Boggles the mind. Hopefully he’s too broke to convince any more attorneys to take on his sad little case.

I started checking for the final installation at 2 am on Sunday, It is not almost 8 am and it is still not here. You are an evil evil woman to keep me waiting like this…LOL Glad that this is almost over, and that Karma had found your ex and beaten above the head and shoulders repeatedly.

True story: I shot out of bed this morning, way too early for a Sunday, and thought out loud, much to my sleeping husband’s dismay, “Oh shit! I haven’t read the last part.” Because I got the email while I was in the car (at a stop light), and I forgot to go back. So, I’m late to the party, but I’m dedicated. I came anyway, and I’m wearing my hottest PJ’s just for you….enough about me.

So, I’m sorta scrappy. If you need backup, I’ll uppercut that bitch like he’s never seen it. Four brothers make you tough, but this you know.

I’m so glad you won. I had no doubt with all of your crazy hacker ninja skills, but still…you had me on the edge of my seat with Every. Single. Post. Well done.

Now it’s time for sap….I hate that this happened to you, but I’m glad that you started this blog, so if that lead to this, and this is so fuggin golden, I think you win twice. And I better get to read your book…I know it’s coming. It better be coming.

I am also a weirdo magnet – On the day I moved to Melbourne, a man came up to me and warmly stated “I love zippers” before wandering off to buy a warm beverage. He wasn’t even homeless-looking.

I am also a dickbag magnet, and some of this is detailed in my PTSD blog, but is far less light-hearted, or interesting than being informed of someone’s zipper-love! Who can blame him, though? Little teeth that enable two pieces of fabric to come together as one? Brilliant!

I am going to miss this story, but am overjoyed to know that it’s somewhat over for you… Psycho Ex is really a very kind name to give that thing you dated…

From one of your last posts I can definitely see that you share my weirdo magnetism! I think I may start telling random people that “I love zippers.” What if it was some sort of code? What if he was an alien or a time traveler and those were the secret words that would connect him with his handler? I feel like this is likely. I also feel like I’m a weirdo and I’m being pulled in by your weirdo magnet all of a sudden.

And! Who knows, maybe the story’s not over… careful what you wish for 😉 Haha. No, but seriously– careful. HAHA

Oh, I’ve definitely been caught in the careful what you wish for trap, before, it’s just that it’s 6:30am and I don’t remember what it was – I daresay it was something actually bad and unable to be salvaged with humour 😉

Blows my mind, because he is so broke! Is that really malpractice? Wow. The plot thickens because there is no way that she deposed his former boss. Even my employer’s attorney didn’t really depose me… I sent about a gillion emails and phone calls and never heard from them until just before it all happened. Biggest cluster ever.

What a fantastic concluding sentence, Aussa, seriously! In every context — the crescendo, the self-reflexiveness, the result… Starting the blog was an inspired idea for more than one reason: If that petition to revoke the restraining order is ever dusted off and reviewed, you’ll have an army of two thousand strong at your side. I’ll be the general; I come with gunmetal.

Thank you! That means quite a lot, coming from a wordsmith such as yourself. And that would certainly be an incredible amount of support to have at my back this time… last time, the only people who knew were a couple coworkers, a couple friends, and the Boyfran. It was a silent and secretive sort of ordeal. Never again, haha.

Hahaha I don’t know– I don’t think he knows. It was started long after we had anything to do with each other and he’s not exactly savvy on the interwebs. I think he knows they exist but I’m not sure he knows what they’re for.

Right? Sadly I think he likes to spend his free time watching the same DVDs over and over and getting wasted on whiskey and pills. Though he used to love Blockbuster… not sure what he’s done now that they’re gone…

Thanks Jasmine! And yes– it is such a ridiculous story and it drug on forever. I am glad that at least that “chapter” of it is closed. Someday when I move a million miles away I will finally be able to believe that it’s completely over.

I don’t even know what to say. I’ve been reading through your blogs for probably two hours and you rock at engaging your readers. I could have kept reading except the darn kids kept asking for dinner! LOL joking! But I love your writing! Wonderful story-telling and I am so glad that everything worked out to your favor! You have a way of personalizing your writing and making your readers feel as if you’re sitting in front of them, telling this story. I feel like we’re friends! LOL!

Oh wow, hey thank you! Two hours? Crazy! Though I do get an evil thrill from distracting people from more worthwhile pursuits… like parenting, showering, homework, work work, etc…

You absolutely made my night when you said the bit about how it feels like I’m sitting in front of my readers, telling the story. I actually read it out loud to my boyfriend because that is my dream! I want to be that old lady in a village who hobbles about and then sits on a stool and all the people come sit around and listen to her stories. Maybe someday 😉 Thank you for reading and for leaving a comment so I can get to “know” you 🙂

Yeah I started reading your blog as I got here via a backlink you left on someones blog , To be frank I started reading via the accidental threesome because the title sounded fun , I actually like the way you narrate things and don’t complicate the writing for the readers , so Its kind of likable to read something which is easy to read and yet a different kind of blog,Cheers

I started a blog a month ago and kid sister steered me to Kathy Radigan’s Possessed Dishwasher. I admit that I’m a sucker for redheads so your avatar from a comment for her blog got me to your blog. Your sense of humor kept me there for over two hours. Thanks. Like bitch lawyer said,”You’re an attractive woman.” And funny as hell.

Hi. I came across something (can’t even remember now) that you wrote, and happened from there to ‘your ex pretending to be you’ and I was hooking into the story. Hours past my bedtime…I had to know what next.
Deep breath.
You lady are bad-ass Superwoman!
I am so proud of you!

Aussa, I’ve burnt through an entire day of work reading this series from start to finish. This is some of the best writing I have ever had the pleasure to read.

I normally find that 90% of the time guys get unfairly labelled as “creepy” just for taking a chance with a lady and then swinging out. But this guy… I wouldn’t let my worst enemy date this guy. He’s the pure, uncut cocaine of psychopaths. Honestly, thank you for finally delivering the justice that this guy needed to face. Most people would have backed down in the face of adversity, but you knew you were right and you saw things through to the end.

I thought I already replied to this, so I apologize. I’m glad you enjoyed the reading– and wasted work time (MY GOAL IN LIFE).

I’ve been meaning to go back and edit and clean up the writing in these posts so I admit I was mildly embarrassed when I saw a comment come through. But I really appreciate your words 🙂 And gah! I need to write a follow up! Good reminder.

I know you’re already writing a book as it is, but all of this material could definitely be reworked as a separate novel all its own (sprinkled with more insights and humor from some of your other material). I look forward to a follow up!

This makes me feel braver in sharing my story of being stalked and harassed by my ex boyfriend his new wife. Thank you for telling your story, and giving me peace of mind that I will come out stronger from this, someday.