My life and times in the cultural desert of America! In 1990 I had one of those moments all New Yorkers experience. My commute to work had just taken 4 hours. It was a cold, rainy, generally blah day, and the phone rang! The head hunter on the other end promised the land of milk and honey. Well we all know what P. T. Barnum said.

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Btjunkie

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About Me

Well it just does not pay to complain because frankly, NO ONE CARES! I was raised in New York, and made the biggest mistake of my life in 1990 by moving to Indiana. Well, That's enough about me at this time.

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Saturday, September 12, 2009

My recent journey to never never land and back!

What a strange journey I have been on. It started in May when I started to feel ill. The powers that be at the place where I was living decided that it was all in my head. Well it wasn’t! By the middle of June I felt so bad that my attitude was “Stick a fork in me, because I was done!” I was really ready die. Of course, when you talk of suicide or dying, the management decided I needed help and sent me out to a psychiatric facility. This is when the journey gets interesting.

My arrival at the facility was uneventful and I settled in for a two week (the maximum) stay. I had a good day, met the staff, had a good meal and turned in. Four weeks later I woke up in intensive care with a tracheotomy, connected to a plethora of monitors, IV’s, and other medical accoutrement hooked to me.

We always hear about people who claim to have had a near death experience and usually we pooh-pa the story, not anymore! I am now a true believer. At my lowest point, when they had told my family that time was short and they should prepare my funeral, I heard a voice. Could it have been as simple as a doctor or family member in my ear, I don’t know. What I do know is the voice said “do you want to live or die, you must choose now!” At that moment, visions of family, friends, grand kids, promises made, and opportunities I would miss all flashed through my mind. These visions were clear as day. Just as real as if I was there. In that instant I answered “I want to live” and I started to get better.

The last half of June and all of July are lost to me, with the exception of my near death experience. August was spent in a rehab getting me off the trach and starting to stand and walk again. Now I am in another facility, hopefully my last, building my strength and really concentrating really concentrating on my mobility.

In the Harry Potter books he is dubbed “The boy who lived”. Well to paraphrase, I am "the man who lived". My entire view of life has changed. My father used to say to me, “every day you open your eyes is a wonderful day!” Of course as a typical young person who was invulnerable, I did not understand what he meant, now I do. Each day I open my eyes is a wonderful day. It does not matter what transpires during the day, I know it is all good.