I look back upon this pregnancy that I am currently going through and think, WOW, how did I make it this far? I'm 35 weeks today seeing my baby boy moved up his due date by two days. He's moving around and showing me knees and elbows this morning. I asked the other day while I was at the Peri's office what the chances were of someone being at Death's door for two pregnancies and come back to health to have two very healthy pregnancies with only the addition of a couple of meds. There was no explanation given, just stated that I am weird! lol My Peri and his staff appear to be happy when they see me because I am doing so well but are completely baffled as to how this pregnancy, with a boy, could be doing even better than the last pregnancy with my baby girl! All my in office urine dips have shown negative protein, even this late in the game! I keep looking at my ankles and marveling that they are still there!

I did tell them though, as much as it does my heart great to see such marvelous progress in this pregnancy, I cannot help but feel as if I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm not trying to be a pessimist but the reality that PE can rear it's ugly head at any moment makes me a realist I figure. I try not to get hyper when I do not feel the baby move as much, my goodness, this kid's bigger than any of the others and I am sure he's run out of room to groove. Besides, he has to sleep sometime! I cannot expect him to keep me entertained with his "shadow puppet" movements all day long as I watch elbows and knees surface on my belly.

I guess the only real "shoe" to be waiting for is the onset of real labor. This will be some experience if I'm allowed to go naturally into labor versus induced like all the other times. Oh I can only pray I get to experience so called "normalcy".

My 17 month old wanted to watch Bambi this morning, so I am obliged to put that in for her. Not that she actually sits in front of the TV and watches the whole thing, it's just that she loves that deer.

I'm in search of baby sales in the ads today. So far nothing, I guess it will be a bit. They have clothes on sale but nothing as far as cribs, pack n plays, or car seats.

The knee surgery has strapped us again financially. The paychecks have been shorted because of all my husband's leave being used up and then getting put on leave without pay. I cannot believe that they would actually send him a memo saying he has to work on his attendance. GEESH .. do they not understand what "surgery" involves and sometimes there are complications? Insurance has covered quite a bit but we still have over $2000.00 to pay in "copays", "deductibles", and "10% patient responsibility". Just very difficult to pay the mortgage and utilities when you get direct deposit of less than 1/4th of a normal paycheck. Savings was depleated long ago when we lost our son and our tax refund carried us only so far this year. Rising costs of gas compound the situation. But I am living the American dream, to go into debt. LOL

I cannot complain, my kids are healthy, my husband is back to feeling somewhat normal again with his knee and we are expecting a wonderful new addition soon. If all goes well, I will be able to go back to work parttime and help whittle down these expenses and enjoy what I have a bit more. :-)

One last item, I received a card from our vet's office just this week in regards to our cat we had put to sleep the week before. The staff all individually signed a personal message to us which I thought was SOOOOOO nice! Such personal thoughts of how we were a great example of compassion for our fellow creatures and what a wonderful life we had given to our beautiful cat. They wrote such nice things and it makes the loss a little more bearable. I still miss my Kitt Kitty but I know he has to be out of suffering and my other cats have taken over to help make sure I know I am loved by the "fur community".

I'm going to see what I can accomplish today with my cooking, cleaning and crochet. (the three c's) lol

Love to all moms out there! And yes, once you have given birth, you are a mother for always, even if your child is now your guardian angel! Love to you all!

Sue, I always look forward to reading your posts when I see that you posted, you are full of uplifting words and real life added with a touch of humor. Thank you for posting such well written posts and making feel like I am not the only one to go through similar situations.

Well, here is more of my real life activities. Ohhhh what's up with my child crying out at 4:00am followed by me waking up, my son(in utero) waking up with all eight arms and legs going even though the ultrasound only showed two of each, and then back pain along with groin pain upon rolling over? UGH! I was about ready to crawl out of my skin last night. For three hours I was trying to get comfy, half falling asleep, dealing with middle of the night reflux and enjoying every moment of it! lol

The weather was so nice yesterday that I took my oldest and youngest daughters for a walk to the local Walmart (1.5 blocks from home) and decided to do a little shopping while hubby was at work. He was going to be doing overtime, or so we thought, so I figured a couple grocery items were needed. Turns out he was going to come home at regular time because they decided at the hospital they didn't have enough patients to warrant him staying another few hours.

I'm starting to doubt my cooking, too. I make tacos last night for dinner. You know, the fry up the ground beef and throw in 3/4 cup water and a packet from store. Well, the beef was fresh but when you have a husband that adds too many jalapenos to his and makes his tummy feel aweful, it makes you wonder if you chose the right thing to have for dinner. Followed by my daughter getting sick this morning due to her stomach hurting and a really bad headache. She had only one taco without jalapenos. Lil one had bites of mommy's jalapeno free tacos too last night and she ended up crying out in the night. But then, she does that taco or no taco some nights. I think I will make something bland tonight for dinner. LOL

35 wks 1 day and still going. Taking that walk to Walmart may have done me in for last nights pain. I have a feeling I aggitated little boy into putting more pressure on my vascular system and nerves. He apparently didn't want to go for a walk yesterday like the rest of us .. hrumph!
Still hoping and holding out to see 37 wks come along and then hopefully labor will be sweet release of all this pelvic pressure this little boy seems to want to dole out. Ohhhh just wait until you are born mister! LOL I'll put you through my own brand of torture, the FAMILY GATHERING, where all the aunts and uncles along with grandma and grandpa will want to meet you and play pass the baby! You may learn first hand why your older sister used to give them the "boo boo" face. LOL ...baby thinking .. "Waaaah, MOM! Who ARE these people?" lol

Well, hubby promised me a massage tonight and I intend on taking him up on every bit of it! He's doing better at physical therapy of which he has a session again tonight and then after that we go to eldest daughter's new school for next year and listen to a demo on the Higher Ability Program. Will have to fit in that bland dinner I spoke of and then that massage when all the rest are asleep in bed and I can relax. Relax? When the other two are asleep is when "HE" decides to wake up, who am I kidding, relax. ..lol

Boy I wish I had gotten that massage. Now if I could just get his attention after the kids go to sleep! lol ..

I'm 35 wks and 2 days now. Another day, another passed NST test at the office of the Peri today. I talked with the nurse practioner and she said that my Peri will most likely not let me go past 39 wks because he would be paranoid. I told her, he's not the only one and that is FINE with me! lol She also laughed and said he doesn't believe in spontaneity. LOL

I told the NP though that I figured this boy to be face up. Have always heard that you feel more in your back when your baby is face up and you go to deliver. I have had back pain and pelvic pressure to the point of taking me a few minutes to get out of bed, a chair, up off the floor (you should see me, dear goodness!) or other means of movement. She agreed saying this morning that she was having a hard time trying to get his HB to show up on the NSt because it was coming in faint from him being possibly face up. She said it's harder to track the BPs when the baby is face up versus showing their rear to the machine! lol So I can be grateful he's head down but I can only pray he decides to turn his little ornery butt around for the final countdown! Trust me, this boy and I are going to have words when he comes out! lol

Dilema. I'm this year's scout leader for my daughter's troop and although I had every intention to go camping with them at the beginning of the year(before finding out about baby) I find that I may have to cancel the idea as I cannot find another mother to cover my position and take the girls camping in May. There have to be two registered moms taking the girls or they cannot go. I am hoping my co-leader will be able to cover the last few meetings of the year because I could go even as early as next week (ok, even tomorrow.. who's to say) so I don't want to do a "No-Show" but I don't want to burden others with the meetings. Decisions, decisions. I'll talk with my co-leader and see. It's just all up in the air! Oh, reminds me, I need to find my crafting coupons to get wax for the project of making "fire starters" for campfires. And I need to research camp fire recipes for the girls to make breakfast, lunch and dinner, etc. Wish me luck!