Tickle Me...Elmo...Tahoe

In an insane asylum, three patients are up for release. The Doctor decides to give them an intelligence test. He turns to the first man and asks, "What is three times three?" "274," he replies. The Doctor asks the second man, "What is three times three?" "Tuesday," replies the second man. The Doctor turns to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three?" "Nine," says the third man proudly. "That's great!" says the doctor. "How did you arrive at that?" "Simple," says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday."

RATED: BOTH GENERAL AND MATURE AUDIENCES:

Man who fart in church sit in own pew.Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.Man who run behind car get exhausted.

War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

RATED: MATURE AUDIENCES

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw a spectacular gorgeous woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight toward his seat. As if his prayers were answered, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?" She turned, smiled, and said, "Business. The Annual Sexual Education Convention in Chicago." He swallowed hard. Here was this most beautiful woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for sex education! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?" "Lecturer," she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality." "Really," he said. "What myths are those?" "Well," she explained. "One popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed, when in fact it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Jewish descent. We have, however, found that the best potential lover in all categories is the Southern Redneck." Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said. "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you. I don't even know your name." "It's Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba!"

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MY PUBLISHED BOOK

* * * Wings Over My Texas * * *
in several formats:

B/W paperback and KINDLE

OR

FULL COLOR EDITION* * *Description excerpt: A non-scientific photographic study of over 200 birds, common, rare, and vagrant birds, along the Coastal Bend of South Texas. Areas include Corpus Christi, Port A...check out the book details on this linked site!!