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23.6.13

Amy and I had a wonderful mother and daughter's morning this morning, making jewellery with Jumangillou Jewellery. It was really fun for both Amy and I, and I definitely want to go again! I am sure Amy does too ;) Jumangillou also offers children's workshops, girl's birthday parties, ladies workshops, hen party activities and even team building events. Amy and I discussed having a jewellery making birthday party for her next birthday, I can't wait! Enjoy our photos below and get in touch with Gill on 07939 260118 or visit her website www.jumangillou.co.uk if you want to go along to one of her events. Amy and I didn’t only make jewellery together but we made a precious memory too.

22.6.13

Centre of gravity is where all of the weight of an object is concentrated. This point can be inside the object or some point outside. Mass is how we measure the amount of matter in something. The more massive something is, the more of a gravitational pull it exerts. As we walk we constantly feel the gravitational pull on and we automatically pull back. Earth is obviously much more massive than we are so the pull from us will not move the Earth. However, the pull from the Earth is sufficient to move us. In addition to the dependence on mass, gravity also depends on how far you are from something. This is why we are able to stay on Earth rather than be pulled in the direction of the Sun, which has much more gravity than the Earth. Although this scientific jargon may not make any sense to some of us, it is a fantastic starting point for our study of emotional gravity.

You see, we have an emotional centre of gravity in the same way that objects have a physical centre of gravity. The physical centre of gravity can be easily understood by looking at a seesaw. If two people of very different weights sit on opposite sides of the seesaw you will see one go up and the heavy one pull towards the ground. This is the gravitational pull on the mass, clearly showing that the heavier one has more gravitational pull than the lighter one. In order to bring about perfect balance on the seesaw, the heavier one must sit closer to the centre of gravity so that they can equalize each other’s mass. Every object has a point through which its mass seems to be concentrated – this is the centre of gravity.

The emotional centre of gravity is the central point of our emotions, the foundation for all of our emotional responses. Keeping in mind that emotions in themselves are neither negative or positive but our response to them is either negative or positive, let’s agree that our centre of gravity is the place that those emotions balance on and where the responses are determined, resulting in an action. Emotional gravity is what keeps us ‘together’ just like gravity holds Earth together and our emotional centre of gravity is where the weight of our emotions is concentrated.

Our emotional centre of gravity attracts emotional experiences that keep us within this centre. This is why an angry person will get angry easily and someone who is joyful can remain joyful even through difficult times. A person’s centre of gravity will cause them to respond to their emotions in a similar way time and time again. Thankfully, it is possible to move your centre of gravity but we will get into that a bit later.

External Centre of Gravity
Consider a horseshoe. This is a great example of an object that has an external centre of gravity. Its centre of mass isn't located at its centre, in fact, it's not even in the object, but it is in the space outside of the object. You can’t balance a horseshoe on a pivotal point when it is lying on a horizontal plane because it has an external centre of gravity. A doughnut is another classic example of an external centre of gravity because the centre of gravity is in the centre of the doughnut - in the space inside the doughnut, not on the solid ring of mass. The position of the centre of gravity determines how stable something is. Once the centre of gravity has moved beyond the base area of an object, it will no longer be stable. Emotional gravity is no different from the earth’s gravity. When it comes to emotions, when our centre of gravity is external, we will be unstable and will not find a way to balance your emotions on any pivotal point. Here are some of the common characteristics of someone with an external centre of gravity:

Dependant on the opinions of others

Easily angered or weeps easily

Poor instincts

Depressed or hyperactive

Poor decision making

Needy and attention seeking

Insecure

Lack of peace

Prone to addictions

When our centre of gravity is outside of ourselves we don’t trust our instincts or anything that comes from within. Rather, we trust only what others say about us. After a period of time we lose our identity and begin to base our identity on what has been said about us and in most cases even act accordingly. Another consequence of having your emotional centre of gravity outside of yourself is that you will feel empty inside because what should be inside of you is on the outside of you. Too often people with an empty inside try to fill themselves with everything except the right thing. Addictions, domestic violence, promiscuity and many other things are often the result of someone with an external centre of gravity who is trying to find satisfaction from external vices. If we dig a little deeper we will also find that workaholism, eating disorders, broken relationships and extreme competitiveness are also the result of an external centre of gravity. A person with an external centre of gravity will easily fly off the handle when they can’t cope as they are not in control of their emotions and have nothing to find balance on.

This is a snippet from Emotional Gravity. Find our more about finding balance and get some practical tips on moving your center of gravity to a healthy place in Emotional Gravity. More info here or buy now on Amazon.

18.6.13

Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

- 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

The apostle Paul wrote these verses in Corinthian not as a commandment but as guidelines so that we could have a better understanding of our commitment to each as husband and wife. Fully understanding what these verses mean could have a significant impact on our love life and help us to really enjoy our time together in this area. Take time to understand the importance of giving your bodies to each other.
Before we get into what it is let’s first take a look at what this does not mean. It does not mean that a man (or woman) can take their spouses body whenever they want to without invitation or consent. This is rape. Violently forcing someone to do what they are not ready to do is not loving and therefore cannot constitute making love.
“...does not have authority over her/his own body...” is explained nicely in the preceding verse where it says that we are to give each other the affection that is due. It then goes on to say how we can render affection and that is by giving our bodies to each other. Your husband’s pleasure is your concern and your pleasure should be his concern. It is not about what you can get from each other but what you can give to each other. It is a common theme throughout the Bible and the principle remains the same in our sex life. We are designed to serve not to be served. Don’t see you how can get pleasure from your husband; rather see how you can give him pleasure. If both of you are set on pleasing each other, the result will be wonderful. Even if one party is less serving than the other, their heart will quickly crumble when they see the effort that the other one is making and will hopefully respond accordingly.
Understanding this principle can have a significant effect on your pleasure and intimacy with your husband. You see, the Bible says in Acts 20:35 that, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” and this principle applies to our sex lives too. It is far better to be a lover that loves to give than a lover that likes to receive. Do you just lie there and take it or are you actively involved, looking for ways to please your husband? Don’t expect him to constantly be pleasing you and certainly don’t expect the things that you need to feel love in or outside of the bedroom if all you ever do is lie there and take it.
Women, if you want to be blessed, you really should become generous in the bedroom! 2 Corinthians 9:6-8 says, “But this I say: He who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. So let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work.” Do you have all sufficiency in all things? These principles are applicable to every area of life including our sex lives and if you want all sufficiency why not please your husband by sowing bountifully in the area that makes him feel most loved. Express your love by serving him with your body. Take delight in his body. Understand the importance of these principles.
If you marriage is a bit stale may I suggest that you spice it up by being creative with your sex life? This is the heart, the core, of your marriage and you would do well not to neglect it.
Do not deprive one another. His needs are your responsibility and your needs are his responsibility. You may not deprive one another and you may not withhold sex from him to control him or be mean to him. Your body is not your own and so you should freely give it to your husband regularly. It is not a rule that you have to do so and he most certainly can’t demand it from you but if you truly love each other as you should then he should be able to make love to you pretty much whenever he wants to and vice versa. Why not love each other in a way that you both freely give yourself to each other so that you can both be fully satisfied?
The only exception to this suggestion is when you have a time of fasting and prayer. It’s not a rule that you cannot have sex during a fast but it is acceptable that if you are both in agreement that you can abstain from sex during a fast so you can focus on being intimate with God. A caution is provided though and we are advised not to abstain for too long or else Satan might tempt us into sin because of our lack of self-control.
Marriage problems will result the second that we start to withhold the affection that is due to our husband. We need to understand his needs and satisfy what we are meant to satisfy as a wife. Unsatisfied men don’t flourish in life and some are event tempted to sin or end up trapped in sin. Although he can’t fully blame his decision on his wife he most certainly can find himself struggling when he does not receive the affection that he needs. Have compassion on your man, don’t make him feel empty, alone and unloved.
Most importantly, don’t expect him to keep you filled with love and affection while he is trying to get by on the minimum. You take care of his needs, he will take care of your needs, and all will be well in your marriage. Don’t make the mistake of demanding attention from him as you wouldn’t like it if he demanded sex from you. If you are not satisfied in any area, lovingly explain your needs and I can assure you that he will do his best to satisfy you. A man who loves a woman will do just about anything to make her satisfied, all you need to do is make your needs known and be reasonable about what you need.
Can he come to you with his needs though? Is he ‘allowed’ to tell you what satisfies him and will you do just about anything to make him satisfied? Men tend to feel like a failure if their wife isn’t satisfied but women don’t seem to have the same problem. Women are more likely to be harsh with their man and make his lack of satisfaction his own fault. This disables a man and in time he is unable to satisfy his woman. Don’t do this! Allow you husband to express his needs freely and do your best to give him what he desires if you can. Make an effort to understand these fantastic principles so that you can have the best possible sex life that is growing from strength to strength. The more you sow into each others life the more you will reap. It sounds like a win win situation to me!

Find out more about Being a Lover here or get in touch to host your own Girl's Night.

16.6.13

Berith is a highly regarded and popular style and image consultant. B, as she likes to call herself, has spent 30 years helping men and women learn how to look their best. She has seen individuals transformed by her work and through her Girl's Nights.

Girl's Nights £5Held at Berith's Home every Wednesday at 7:30pm
Our Girl's Nights are based on the Christian Bible and cover relevant
topics for mothers, wives, single women, older women - basically all
shapes and sizes. It's a really fun night, don't be shy, give it a
try! We
enjoy a meal together, spend some time chatting about real life issues,
pray for each other and care for each other. A great time together is
guaranteed and your life will be radically changed.

More more info get in touch with Berith..........................................................................................................................

11.6.13

Big things usually have a small beginning. Even the greatest Oak tree started as a tiny acorn and all great men and women started as little seeds in their mother’s womb. No one or nothing started huge and it takes at least ten years to achieve an overnight success. Small starts are essential and so are big dreams. Here are some keys to great small beginnings:

Be FaithfulHe who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much.

- Luke 16:10

Integrity in business is essential and you can tell what sort of person you are very easily in the small things. If you tell little white lies then you are likely to be capable of telling big lies too. If you are comfortable with cheating on your tax return then you will also be comfortable stealing money from a client through over charging or under serving. Small beginnings are the best place to work on your character so that when your business does grow, you will have to character to sustain it.
Be honest with yourself and learn the truth about who you are so that you can address any character flaws early on in your journey. Don’t wait until things have got out of hand or until you have made a mess of things to work on your character. Be faithful, don’t tolerate poor character.

Be CarefulThe plans of the diligent lead surely to advantage, but everyone who is hasty comes surely to poverty.

- Proverbs 21:5

Be careful that you don’t rush ahead or jump into financial commitments in your small beginning. Keep your overheads low and your commitments to a minimum at first. Plan well, especially with finances and don’t rush into anything. Good old fashioned, diligent, consistent hard work, with calculated risk taking where necessary, will always pay off. Rushing around looking busy without careful, clear thinking will get you nowhere fast. Be careful, don’t rush.

Be WiseWise people live in wealth and luxury, but stupid people spend their money as fast as they get it.

- Proverbs 21:20

Using every last penny each time you get some money into your business is not wise and will keep you in a bad position for a long period of time. Use whatever money comes in to pay what you need to pay and put a portion aside. Wise use of money will lead to wealth and luxury so don’t be stupid, be wise.

Be PatientWealth gained hastily will dwindle, but whoever gathers little by little will increase it.

- Proverbs 13:11

Working to gain money isn’t always the most effective way to make money. Take your time to build your business steadily. Earn trust with suppliers and clients. Relationships take time and a business build on relationship as opposed to quick, money grabbing sales, will last. It might seem frustrating at first but the best way to build your business well is to gather little by little. Get known. Allow people to know you. Chip away at your work while storing away little bits of money and by building good strong relationships. Be patient, your business will grown.

Getting to Your Big Dream
A huge part of your small beginning is to have a big dream. Once you are sure of what you want you need to know how to make it happen. It’s not essential to know every step from small to big but it is essential to have a clear vision for what you want and a rough idea of how you plan to get there, even though things will quite likely change along the way, at least have an idea of the general direction that you want to take.

One reason why having all these thoughts in place is essential is because you will need people to work with you as you go and you will need to tell them why and how they should join you on your journey. Nothing big will come from you pursuing your dream as a lone ranger; there will come a point when you will need people. Here are some essentials for achieving your big dream.

Write It DownWrite the vision and make it plain on tablets, that he may run who reads it.

- Habakkuk 2:2

This verse from Habakkuk is the first model for writing a business plan and even for franchising. God told Habakkuk to 1) write the vision, 2) communicate it clearly and 3) set it in stone so that those that will work with him will be able to run as a result of these three steps. If God said this then it is pretty important don’t you think?
If you want to achieve your big dream then you should follow these three steps too. Writing it down forces you to clarify your thinking. Making it plain is so that other people can understand it in order to believe the vision and join you in working towards it. Even your clients will benefit from knowing your vision and knowing where you are heading.
Setting it in stone means that there are some things that are not negotiable and will never change. These can be your values, moral and the heartbeat of your business. Carefully decide what these things are and then set them in stone, make sure that even you never change them.
Finally, you can use what you have written to train staff, team members and even franchises and if everything is set out clearly then they will be able to run fast and help you achieve your dream.

Work Out the StepsFor which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it - lest, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish’?

- Luke 14:28 - 30

Planning in key and using a business plan is a great way to work out the next steps. Don't wait until your business has failed to realise that you got it wrong! Getting your business plan right is a sure way to get your business right! Your business plan is not necessarily created to apply for funding, in fact I would say that funding is the smallest reason for writing a plan. A business plan is a fantastic way to capture exactly what your business is about, what is important to you and how you intend to make your business work. 80% of small businesses without a business plan will fail in their first 5 years.
Writing something down is the first step toward making it happen but sadly the number one business mistake is to skip the planning phase. If business owners understood the power of their business plan they would spend more time writing it, fine tuning it, reflecting on it and even work shopping it with other business owners.

Top Business Plan Mistakes
• Spelling and grammar is overlooked resulting in a sloppy plan.
• The plan is too vague or incomplete.
• Inadequate research is conducted.
• The company's purpose/objective is vague.
• Unrealistic financials
• Ignorance of competitors

Top Business Plan Tips
• Be concise - get to the point.
• Be visual – use graphs, charts and images.
• Be creative – add your own flavour.
• Be realistic – there is really no such thing as a ‘get rich quick’ plan.
• Be open – get and value feedback from people you trust.

Believe In Your HeartFor as he thinks in his heart, so is he.

- Proverbs 23:7

You will become who you believe you are and you will achieve what you believe you can achieve. Belief in yourself and in the God who created you is the one thing that will truly propel you forward or hold you back. Check your heart and make sure that you believe that you can do what you have set at to do and then don’t stop until you achieve it. Write down some affirmations if you need to and make sure that there is nothing in your mind that is holding you back from being all that you can be.

Find out more about Being a Woman in Business here or host your own Girl's Night. We also have a monthly business networking event called Women in Business, find our more here.

4.6.13

Gravity is the force that pulls all matter together. Mass is how we measure the amount of matter in something. The more massive something is, the more of a gravitational pull it exerts. As we walk on the surface of the Earth, it pulls on us, and we pull back. Without gravity, you would float off into the atmosphere forever. On Earth, gravity pulls objects downward toward the centre of the Earth. It also causes any two objects in the universe to be drawn to one another. There is a constant tension to all physical matter on earth that is required for life itself. Without this tension there would be chaos.

Emotional gravity is a parallel principle to earth’s gravity. Without the constant tension of emotional gravity our emotions would be in chaos. Sadly, emotional gravity is not as stable as earth’s gravity because unlike creation, we do have free will and it is this free will which affects our stability. Creation has no free will. Earth was designed a certain way and is perfect in design and everything was designed to work in perfect harmony and balance. Human Beings were a part of the original design and there once was perfect harmony in all of creation, including human emotions.
Sadly, free will caused one human being to make a decision that would cost all of humanity and creation to lose the perfect balance of life. Gravity still exists but perfection does not, and in the same way emotional gravity exists but perfection does not. Some of us suffer with severe instability in the area of our emotions and others suffer with a severe lack of emotional expression. Very few find themselves in perfect balance in this area but all can get work towards finding the balance. We achieve this in the same way that we lost our balance. We use our free will, our choice. Emotional balance can be restored once we understand the power that exists within us and the power that exists around us creating a constant tension in our lives.

Constant Tension
Constant tension might seem like an overwhelming thought but consider that it is the constant movement in the entire universe that keeps it alive. If the movement stopped then earth as we know it would stop. So the answer lies in the problem. The problem is the stress that we feel by the constant tension and the solution is to have the constant tension working in harmony thereby creating peace within our souls. For example, gravity causes the tides of the sea. Tides are one of the most reliable phenomena in the world and they are essential to a balanced life on planet earth. Without the tides life on earth would cease. It would be disastrous. The oceans drive weather patterns all over the Earth and the tides affect the surface temperature of our planet, which has to be within a certain range in order to support liquid water – a requirement for life of any conceivable kind. Tides also clean out Earth’s rivers and streams and without this cleansing system of our waters, our water would become too polluted to support any form of life. If the tides were too high. they would make more of the land mass unliveable and would cause shoreline erosion too which would take most of the land mass into the sea.
Many things, too many to mention, would be affected if the tides of earth were out of sync. The bottom line is that without the constant tension of the tides, we could not live. Constant tension between the moon, sun and earth is necessary to create the constant movement of tides that sustain life here on earth. This is only one of the tensions that are required to sustain life, there are so many more but the key thing is to realise that three things are required to make life on earth sustainable – the sun, the moon and the earth. It is the tension of these three that makes our life possible.
Emotional gravity also requires three things to be in constant tension in our life – an outside influence, an inside influence and our body which carries our emotions. Balanced emotions come from having all three lined up in our life. Unlike the harmony of the sun, moon and earth, we humans tend to experiment with the three things. Thankfully, the universe doesn’t experiment by trying out different moons or stars to replace the sun! Disaster would result if these experiments took place and in the same way, many people find themselves in a state of emotional disaster because they experiment with the three things that should be constant in our life. Constant tension between these three things are required in order to keep emotional balance but if the three things are constantly changing how could you ever sustain constant tension?

Three Things
Let’s take a look at the essential three things that should remain constant in our life. Firstly, we need to have an outside influence, a higher power. Think of this influence as the sun. It is the largest of the three and essential to the tension balance of the three. Secondly, we need an inside influence which is our mind. This should be a constant that cannot change but of course it changes all the time, doesn’t it? For illustration purposes, see this as the moon. Thirdly, we need our body which carries our emotions and this is like the earth that carries all human life. The tension between these three things is what causes emotional gravity or lack thereof.
Without a sun you cannot have the gravity required to sustain life, so therefore if we stick with our parable, people who do not believe in a higher power are instantly out of sync. I don’t want to get into this in detail at this point but let me just throw one thing out there. It takes more faith not to believe in God than it does to believe. Just look around at creation. Can we honestly believe that a big bang is responsible for the miracle of reproduction or the miracle of metamorphosis for example? Is it possible that the delicate balance of gravity and the ability for the body to heal itself is an accident or part of a creator’s grand design? It’s very difficult to look at creation and not believe that there is a Creator, isn’t it? I imagine that it would take a great deal of faith to believe that there is no Creator, that there is no God. I imagine that all this energy used on not believing in a higher power is what causes a great deal of emotional instability. But we will get to that in greater detail later, for now I just need you to accept that a higher power is one of the essential elements of emotional gravity. Remember, it is gravity that holds everything together and emotional gravity is what holds you together.
Our mind is the second important element. Contrary to popular belief, we don’t have to be controlled by our mind and we can change what we think. We have power over our mind. We can decide what we think about and what we do with what we think about. If we allow a higher being into our life, He too can influence our mind but He does not control it as we have free will. However, He can help us think differently by reminding us of things such as truth or the importance of love. The mind is a huge influence on our emotional stability and our mind affects how our body behaves, the actions that we take.
Our body is like a car, it needs to be operated. Although it has many parts which work together perfectly in order to function, it still needs to be operated by our mind. Some functions are automated like breathing, heartbeat, etc but other functions require specific operation. The other two elements (sun and moon) often affect much of what our body does. Emotional gravity affects what we do with our body and when there is instability we often do harmful or unhealthy things with our body. Examples could be as subtle as overeating to as dramatic as murder. All these actions conducted by our body are the result of our emotions.

Emotions
Emotions are feelings. Emotions can be extremely powerful and can often be very controlling. Emotions by themselves are neither good nor bad but we can handle them positively or negatively. Decisions can be made based on emotions and relationships can be formed or broken based on emotions. Beautiful music can stir emotions to peacefulness and intense music can arouse passion or anger. Weather affects emotions. Sound affects emotions. Colour affects emotions. Jealousy is an emotion. Guilt is an emotion. Love can be emotional. Without emotions we would be stripped of all pleasures and pain. Without emotions we would have no soul. Our emotions are an intrinsic part of our soul. Our soul consists of our mind (intellect), will and emotions. We will go into these three things more deeply later on but for now it’s essential to understand the relevance and importance of our emotions. At birth we have only the startle and fear response. All other emotions are learned as we journey through life. Our emotions define us to a certain degree and emotional gravity is what keeps us rooted and grounded in reality. If we have learned the emotions that we have today then it is safe to say that we can continue to learn about the emotions we have developed.

Emotional Response Process
Let’s digress a bit and look at three more things. These three things make up the emotional response process.

1. Emotion
You experience an emotion which is a feeling. This feeling starts biological changes such as increased heart rate, hormonal change or pituitary adrenal response.

2. Response
You choose a response to the emotion which starts as a thought. Your thoughts will lead to an action, a reaction or paralysis.

3. Action
The action that results may be a facial expression, a verbal response or a physical action.

Emotional gravity will dictate how well you respond and the action that results. For example, someone who was raised in an angry home might have learned anger as a normal response emotion and therefore they would have an angry reaction to something said which would result in a particular action. Someone else might have been raised in a peaceful home where things were dealt with gently. This person would experience a different emotion when exactly the same thing was said to them.
Their response would be entirely different, leading them to a different action. If emotions are learned as we journey through life then they can also be manipulated, changed and controlled. Even the startle and fear response can be moulded and trained.

This is a snippet from Emotional Gravity. More info here or buy now on Amazon.