My wife then went back upstairs for a while. I guess this was to tidy up the bedding to remove any sign of someone having been there.

I quietly slipped out the front door then came back in again more loudly, closed it and called out that I was home. My wife was a bit flustered and surprised that I was home so early. I could clearly hear the anxiety but then relief in her voice.

We had the usual conversations about her day and my day and that was it.

This happened more than a year ago and I thought long and hard about whether to confront her.

3

Having a child will make my wife happy, she is always jealous when her colleagues go on maternity leaveCredit: Getty - Contributor

Truth is, I was not surprised she had someone else, because our sex life has been pretty dreary for a few years. So I let things be.

The next time I left work early, I called in at the pub on my way home. But now I was aware of the lover, I always knew when “he” had been around. There were tiny clues such as a dent in my pillow or an extra glass in the dishwasher.

My secret hope is that my wife gets pregnant by him. A baby might be the saving of our relationship, as well as make my wife happy. She is always envious when her colleagues go off on maternity leave.

Topic4today

AROUND one in five men and up to half of women suffer loss of sex drive at some point.

Many don’t know how to solve it but often simple self-help techniques can help.

DEIDRE SAYS: Or it might be the end of your marriage. You could no longer pretend to be unaware of your wife’s affair and she might feel obliged to tell you about her lover – who might then be keen to raise his child.

I know you’re nervous of confrontation but your marriage is already in crisis. Talk to your wife about that and her feelings about not having a child.

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