No matter where your kid goes to school or childcare, you will never agree 100% with everything that is done there. There will always be issues of some sort. The only solution to having everything go your way every day is to do it yourself and homeschool....and homeschooling comes with its own set of issues. I would leave her where she is and just do my best to work around the snack/lunch issues. In the grand scheme of things, I think you are being too picky and looking for perfection. Perhaps that is what the teacher is sensing from you and in return, not being as approachable as you would like. She perhaps feels that you are looking for perfection, which she cannot guarantee. The whole original lunch episode happened one day weeks (if not months) ago and you still havent moved on...... I understand the need to ask for clarification and try to solve the issue but at a certain point, you have to accept what the school/teachers are and are not willing to do. There is only so much they can or will change for one child. Imagine handling lunch for that many kids every day....there is no system that will please all the parents and the staff is just doing their best but things ARE going to happen with that many kids. It doesnt surprise me at all that a lunch was overlooked, especially when you daughter did not speak up for herself.

sorry if this is too harsh.

I agree with this. If it was only the one time that she didn't get her food, I would let it go. As long as your dd is getting her food, I don't think it is the teacher's responsibility to babysit your child to make sure she eats. When ds first started going to school, he didn't hardly eat anything because he was too busy socializing at lunch time. I quit letting him snack after school when he didn't eat his lunch and made him wait until dinner. I told him his not eating was a waste of food. Every now and again, he will come home with a nearly full lunch box but for the most part he eats most of it.