Forum » Tag: Stories about kids are 2 precious! - Recent Postshttp://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=stories-about-kids-are-2-precious
The NewsBiscuit Communityen-USSun, 02 Aug 2015 20:29:19 +0000http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2qhttp://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php
Oxbridge on "How I love the human race..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6483#post-17719
Wed, 16 Jun 2010 09:48:06 +0000Oxbridge17719@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Or "If you don't stop that racket, it's no heroin for you for a week young man!"
</p>andhrimnir on "How I love the human race..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6483#post-17718
Wed, 16 Jun 2010 09:44:51 +0000andhrimnir17718@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Chicken smuggling also missing from the list. (You did take a close look at the scans Mary?)
</p>Doctor Moptop on "How I love the human race..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6483#post-17714
Wed, 16 Jun 2010 09:30:50 +0000Doctor Moptop17714@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>My most useful line when the Moptops were smaller (and lying on the floor of a supermarket screaming) "Why can't you ever find a social worker when you need one?"</p>
<p>P.S. Never trust anyone who says 'trust me'.
</p>simonjmr on "How I love the human race..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6483#post-17713
Wed, 16 Jun 2010 09:29:40 +0000simonjmr17713@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Organic Garlic was missing from the list
</p>Svendo on "How I love the human race..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6483#post-17657
Tue, 15 Jun 2010 22:28:56 +0000Svendo17657@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>ooh A whole new world of memes and injokes for me to enjoy/overuse...</p>
<p>I feel truly welcomed into the fold now that I've been enlightened into the wonders of puffin twatting.</p>
<p>I like it because it sticks with my own personal goal of not letting my swearing become a reaction or a habit by trying to make creative swears.
</p>Mr.3374 on "How I love the human race..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6483#post-17643
Tue, 15 Jun 2010 20:51:14 +0000Mr.337417643@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>I often wondered about where my ex was.....
</p>sauce on "How I love the human race..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6483#post-17629
Tue, 15 Jun 2010 18:49:23 +0000sauce17629@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Write her into something, Mary. In fact, she'd be a cert for something for Bugged: <a href="http://buggedblog.wordpress.com/" rel="nofollow">http://buggedblog.wordpress.com/</a> or <a href="http://www.facebook.com/#" rel="nofollow">http://www.facebook.com/#</a>!/pages/Bugged/116456611706540?v=info&amp;ref=ts
</p>AdrianJ on "How I love the human race..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6483#post-17589
Tue, 15 Jun 2010 16:57:55 +0000AdrianJ17589@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>You missed a trick there Mary, you should have replied:</p>
<p>"It's alright they're not my kids. I just need to give the little buggers an energy boost, as I've got a big order for trainers I need them to fulfil before tomorrow morning."</p>
<p>And given your current condition, you could even of added:</p>
<p>"Oh yeah, 40 B &amp; H for me too - and a packet of Rizlas please."
</p>Scroat on "How I love the human race..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6483#post-17588
Tue, 15 Jun 2010 16:57:43 +0000Scroat17588@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Badger fisting</p>
<p>Botting chains</p>
<p>Ferret fingering</p>
<p>Frozen fist Fridays</p>
<p>Joan Bloggs</p>
<p>Lucky Pierre</p>
<p>Puffin Twatting</p>
<p>Queasing</p>
<p>Squirrel Licking</p>
<p>Stranglewank</p>
<p>The Cheeky Penguin</p>
<p>Van Rompuy</p>
<p>Excuse me I sneezed and a bit of wee came out</p>
<p>ROMBWWMAALINTAWWTHMTTAMIILGAPOTH
</p>allmyownstunts on "How I love the human race..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6483#post-17583
Tue, 15 Jun 2010 16:43:37 +0000allmyownstunts17583@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Because, Svendo, you've taken no time at all to tune in to a very NewsBiscuity peccadillo. Congratulations - there is now no hope for you. Someone please post a link to the Biscuionary so Svendo can get up to speed?</p>
<p>Puffin Twatting was coined by andhrimnir way back in the day, and joins a list including squirrel licking and badger fisting which you really need to be half-pissed to fully enjoy.
</p>edward hack on "How I love the human race..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6483#post-17569
Tue, 15 Jun 2010 15:53:13 +0000edward hack17569@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>though it does seem a bit mean of you Mary...forgetting fags for the kids
</p>Svendo on "How I love the human race..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6483#post-17568
Tue, 15 Jun 2010 15:53:02 +0000Svendo17568@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Why have I just laughed out loud in the middle of an office at the phrase "Twatted her Puffin"
</p>Scroat on "How I love the human race..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6483#post-17566
Tue, 15 Jun 2010 15:26:22 +0000Scroat17566@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Maz - she must be Twat of the Week. A runaway winner... For sheer rudeness.</p>
<p>Unless you count the England goalie of course. But let's not go there.
</p>Mary Evans on "How I love the human race..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6483#post-17559
Tue, 15 Jun 2010 14:37:10 +0000Mary Evans17559@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>I love you Jen. You should move down to Surrey - we could really use you down here.</p>
<p>This silly moo just made I laugh. Another day I would have twatted her puffin, but I'm too tired today to face yet another ABH charge.
</p>The All New Jeni B on "How I love the human race..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6483#post-17544
Tue, 15 Jun 2010 13:54:41 +0000The All New Jeni B17544@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>On behalf of all stressed out, put upon mothers everywhere.<br />
<strong>What a fucking cow!!!!</strong></p>
<p>I wonder what her dentist sister thinks of her smoking?<br />
And surely smoking is about 100 times more likely to cause mouth cancer than some mini lollies?</p>
<p>Grrrrrrrr!
</p>Scroat on "How I love the human race..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6483#post-17519
Tue, 15 Jun 2010 12:52:52 +0000Scroat17519@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Widespread condemnation of the British Army on publication of the Bloody Sunday report. "They were murderers" etc. Like the other people weren't murderers.</p>
<p>Lovely clip on the Today Prog this morning from a now deceased military man. Effectively never mind Bloody Sunday, what about Bloody Omagh, what about Bloody Hyde Park etc. etc. </p>
<p>And so it goes on. </p>
<p>As you say Maz.
</p>Svendo on "How I love the human race..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6483#post-17512
Tue, 15 Jun 2010 12:35:14 +0000Svendo17512@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>You should have gone out to pump 5 and slashed her tyres...
</p>Mary Evans on "How I love the human race..."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=6483#post-17509
Tue, 15 Jun 2010 12:28:01 +0000Mary Evans17509@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Returning home past the local garage, I realised I had neither milk, nor the bribe I had promised Master and Miss Mary if they got in their car seats without me giving them or myself a hernia. At the garage counter, I put my milk and two mini lollies on the counter, to be accosted by the woman behind me in the queue. She demanded to see the sweeties and then sighed loudly.<br />
"You know those are the WORST things you can give your children?" said arsey woman.<br />
"My health visitor told me it was meths after the last time," quipped Maz.<br />
"(Sigh) My sister is a dentist and trust me, if you want to rot your children's teeth and give them mouth cancer, that's up to you."<br />
"I'll bear that in mind," says a passive aggressive Maz, snatching her purchases and turning on her swollen heel to leave the garage.<br />
Just as I was leaving, I heard arsey woman start up again.<br />
"Well there's no telling some people what's good for them," she said to my retreating figure. "Anyway, pump 5, thanks. And 40 B&amp;H."
</p>