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Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Biblical Mandates for Family Men

“Husbands, go all out in your love for your
wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not
getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her
beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of
her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And
that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing
themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it.
That’s how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body.
And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife.
No longer two, they become “one flesh.” This is a huge mystery, and I
don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way
Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each
husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each
wife is to honor her husband.”~ Ephesians 5:25-33, The Message

I continue to think about the role that men are intended to play in
God’s plan, as husbands and fathers. I continue to go back to Ephesians
5:25-33, and believe that those verses have a lot to say about males
being Christian men.What I often forget is the stewardship mandate God gave to all of
humanity in Genesis 1:28: “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and
subdue it.” God created us to principally be productive.
Our overarching purpose was that each person might grow, and generate,
and govern what is grown- from ideas to infants, and from cattle to
communities. When God saw His original vision for man to be productive,
He said it was good. And in man’s labors to grow and govern, he would
bring glory to God, emulating His creativity and concern for His
creation.Each of us was made to be productive.In Ephesians 5, though, Paul narrows his scope in on what a family
man should be in his household. As I’ve read through these verses, I
saw four things that stood out to me worth noting, two relating to his
relationship with his wife, and the other two relating to the home
front.

1. In his partnership with his wife, the man is intended to be the pilot.This does not mean the man is more important that the woman, but
rather, that the man bears the brunt of responsibility in leading his
family through life. Like a scout in the military, the man is
responsible to run point in the home in an effort to lead his wife and
children toward growth and life. This does not mean he is an autocrat,
or even that he does not counsel with his wife about life direction and
decisions. But in the end, he is responsible for leading the family
forward in life.

2. In relation to his wife, he is to prize her.What this does not mean is that a husband simply adores his wife like
an idol, neglecting her person and heart. The godly man engages and
encourages his wife to live a full life. To prize his wife, the godly
man really has three initiatives he maintains. The wife needs to be
pursued (with love). The wife needs to be purified (to love). The wife
needs to be promoted (by love). I really like how Peterson puts it in
his translation above: everything the husband does is designed to bring
out the best in his wife. A godly man looks to build up and to empower
his family members.

3. In relation to his family, he is to provide for their basic needs.We usually think of this in material terms- which certainly have
their priority as basic human needs must be met. But above material
needs, the man is also meant to provide spiritual leadership- hope- to
the members of his family.

4. In relation to the household, he is to provide protection.I heard it said that the man should provide a buffer between the
family life and what goes on in the outside world. The godly man is
responsible not only to protect the welfare and health of his family (as
a shepherd in the home), but he is also responsible for protecting and
nurturing the heart of each family member. It is my conviction that if a
man can stand up and provide a strong cover for his family in his
household, he frees his wife to develop and demonstrate her gifts and
abilities as an individual. His strength provides her the safe and
encouraging environment she needs to blossom as a woman and a wife.What must remain in mind when considering these principles, and
especially in relation to his wife, the godly man is still in a
partnership with his wife, which is made of two equal partners. It was
never intended that the home be a seat of an authoritarian regime. Both
husbands and wives are called in Ephesians 5 to be first servants of
God, and then servants of one another (Ephesians 5:21). As Christ
created the way for the enslaved prostitute to be redeemed and restored
and made His purified bride, God asks men to follow Him as leaders and
lovers- taking the initiative when needed, forgiving amply when
necessary, and laying down their lives to build up their wives in Him
daily.