Police Cars and Traffic Jams

Bali is full of repeat offenders at the moment. Most of my friends come back to Bali time and time again for the surf but there’s plenty of girls and cheap alcohol to keep a lot planning their return trip before they have even left the first time around.

In the last month the my main hooligans have been some crazy Austrians, Chris being the ringleader and someone I became good friends with in his time on the island last holiday season. And also a foursome of Englishmen, two of which are brothers and again, guys I met last year, Kirren and Robin.

All these guys are also tied together because of my recent outings to the cliffs just south of Jimbaran Bay.

I have already mentioned in another post that the Austrians and I had discovered the cliffs after a lengthy conversation about doing dumb shit, and we have been back many times since.

The traffic coming back is often a killer. We have been doing the team thing and hiring a car to go down and anyone that’s been to Bali knows that cars don’t wiggle through traffic jams like scooters do.

That was until yesterday!

Only five minutes or so into our journey home, the four Englishmen and I discovered that the alarm on our trusty kijang had a ‘test’ button, which would play the alarm the whole way through, for about 40 seconds. And BOOM! It sounded exactly like a police car!!!!

No more traffic jams for us!

Rolling up behind cars, all stuck in line and sluggishly trying to move forward, we just flipped the switch and RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW RIIIOOOOWWW RIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWW, instantly cars would move to the side of the road and let us drive straight up the middle, all the way up to the traffic lights, which most of the time was still red and all we had to do was just keep driving like we were the po po.

Got us home so much quicker!!!

Not wanting to waste an opportunity though we decided to test our luck a little bit more once we were back in Kuta. It was easy to pick targets. Girls, good looking girls, tourist girls, any girls really, oh and anyone wearing a Bintang brand anything!

I don’t know if it has anything to do with people being shit scared of the Indonesian police or what, but again, flip the switch, siren noises to stunned faces, people would stop dead in their tracks.

And then it was easy fodder to destroy people. ‘Excuse me miss, your under arrest for walking on the road’ ‘Hey you there! Sir that bintang singlet is fucken offensive! Take it off! Take it off!’.

Most people had a little laugh once they realized what was going on and the ones that didn’t got laughed at by everyone else. The locals thought it was a hoot and even joined in, yelling ‘POLICE’ every time we flared the siren.

Another classic day in Kuta, straight into my favourite restaurant Alleycats for some double doubles!