(e) Which item of sports equipment does "Amazing Gracie" carry in "her" hand?

(f) What is the "supply depot" in the war against the babies?

(g) What is the Goodies' last request before the Matron eliminates them?

(h) What sort of weapon are the babies' prams converted into?

The answers are listed at the end of this newsletter.

2. BOFFO IDEAS

**************

You can make it happen here. Liven up the club with a boffo idea for bob-a-job week. E-mail <enquiries@goodiesruleok.com> with your comments, ideas or suggestions - meanwhile these are the boffo ideas which our club has been working on this month:

WEBSITE POLLS

Last month's poll on Goodies holiday destinations must have coincided with Goodies pollsters being on their holiday breaks as well, given the low voter turnout. However it did make for a close contest and the prospect of doing a little lighthouse keeping and sea shanty singing at the Jolly Rock narrowly triumphed over waiting interminably at the Star Safari Park for the nails in Little Rolf's feet to rust away so that he'd make a rare excursion out of his cage. Dining out at Knutters Knoll and the OK Tea Rooms were also popular, but steer clear of the baked beans at the former and the tomato sauce at the latter to keep out of trouble.

Which Goodies-related location would you most like to visit for a holiday?

- August Bank Holiday Island 1 vote

- Uncle King Arthur's Camelot 4 votes

- The Lost Island of Munga 2 votes

- Knutters Knoll Knite Spot 12 votes

- to the Eurovision Raving Loony Contest 6 votes

- the Jolly Rock Lighthouse 18 votes

- the OK Tea Rooms 15 votes

- the Dodo sanctuary 1 vote

- other 3 votes

- The Goodies Star Safari Park 17 votes

Total: 79 votes

This month we've taken over Pinetree Studios and we're looking at making an epic silent western with lots of rude bits – possibly even called Torrid Mimes of Cactus City, starring Sambo, er Samson and his Steamboat Willie … anyway, I digress … you've got a choice of the following fun films when you seek Sir Reginald Wheelbarrow's endorsement at the website polling booth:

In one episode The Goodies make a gender education film. What other educational film should they make?

- Training champion pantomime horses

- Creative ways to combat pollution

- Organizing a 3 person musical festival

- How to clean museum antiquities

- Identifying dinosaurs inside and out

- Running your own film studio

- The perils of mixed dancing

- Cream mining for fun & profit

- The Goodies guide to punk

- The care & feeding of Rolf Harrises

3. SPOTTED!!!

*************

More exciting than getting your wig-spotters badge! If you've seen the Goodies recently, e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> with the details. Here's where we've Spotted!!! the Goodies this month:

ORSTRAILYA, HEEERE WE COME!

(Lisa Manekofsky – 6th Apr)

Last week Graeme mentioned that he and Jon Naismith were heading off to Australia to start setting up a project there (in Sydney). Today I was contacted regarding the filming of a new comedy panel game show in which Graeme is involved. The production company is extending an invitation to members of the Goodies Rule - OK! Fan Club to attend the recordings (details below); Graeme will be there on the days "in a semi-intimate environment".

Tickets to the recordings are free, but limited. ALL REQUESTS FOR TICKETS must be sent to Mark Aslett (maslett@seven.com.au). In your email to Mark be sure to mention you're a member of the Goodies fan club; I was told the production company will make a note of this and try to have Graeme come over to say hello.

Here are the details:

AUDIENCE INVITE TO SEVEN EMPLOYEES, THEIR FAMILY AND FRIENDS *And Fans Of The Goodies

We are filming a new comedy panel game show which features some of Australia's funniest comedians and need some people to come along and have a laugh.

If you would like to be part of this live entertainment the details are as follows:

If you've sighted Tim, Bill or Graeme in a post-Goodies role, e-mail <clarion@goodiesruleok.com> so that we can tell everyone where to spot a Goodie nowadays. Large files (such as scans of articles or photos) for posting on the club's website can be sent to us at: groksite@gmail.com

Those of you seeking radio and tv alerts between issues of the C&G should consider signing up for the Goodies-l mailing list (more details available on the club website), as our crack (cracked?!) team of reporters attempt to post alerts as the information becomes available.

* Graeme sent the following message a few days ago, "Busy times ahead, we have the next series of Clue recordings coming up plus the series of The Unbelievable Truth about to go out, and another series of that to record later in the year. We're hoping to do another stage tour of Clue around September, just waiting to fix dates."

* Graeme Garden is one of the panellists in this week's edition of "The Unbelievable Truth". The show is currently available on the BBC iPlayer (available to most of the world); it will be repeated on BBC Radio 4 this coming Sunday at noon.

* Mondays - The new series of "The Unbelievable Truth" on BBC Radio 4 at 18:30 (with each episode repeated at noon the following Sunday). Graeme will appear on the panel in some episodes (and the show is produced by his company, Random Entertainment).

(12th Apr)

* Just a reminder for the Sydney area fans about the second pilot recording - tickets are still available.

Here's a message Graeme sent to the Saucy Gibbon forum earlier today:

Could you do us a favour and get the word out to the good chums in the Sydney area that we're recording two more shows tomorrow, Thursday, at 1330 and 1630. It's at:

Studio 2

GLOBAL STUDIOS

Media City

Level 2

8 Central Avenue

Eveleigh

For free tickets contact our production office: 02 9690 8172 / 3

(14th Apr)

TIM SPOTTINGS

* Thurs, 14 Apr - "One Foot in the Grave Christmas Special" on GOLD at 13:15 (repeated later that day at 19:55), in which Tim guest stars.

(12th Apr)

I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T A CLUE (ISIHAC) and

I'M SORRY I'LL READ THAT AGAIN (ISIRTA)

* I've been preoccupied and so I am behind the times compared to BBC7's schedule, but here are links to two shows recently rebroadcast by them that had major cuts. The first link is to a show that includes a song by Bill Oddie (Here Comes the One-Man Band) not heard on BBC7, and the second link's show includes an "opera" written by Graeme Garden.

I am working my way through all the ISIRTA recordings I have on hand, re-creating complete shows having good sound quality and running at the correct speed.

(Kimba W Lion – 18 Mar)

* On Saturday, 2 April, BBC Radio 7 is going to become BBC Radio 4 Extra (http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4extra/ ). While there will be changes to the station, on-air promos which aired this week specifically mentioned "I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again" continuing to be on Radio 4 Extra's schedule.

(26th Mar)

* Coming up this Saturday, 2 April, on BBC Radio 4 Extra (formerly BBC Radio 7): "Let's Get Quizzical - Part 1: I'm Sorry I Haven't A Minute". Here's a description: Russell Davies presents the first of a two-part history of the panel game and quiz show.

Enjoy Willie Rushton's debut appearance on I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue and Humphrey Lyttelton's last hurrah. Nicholas Parsons chairs the 35th Anniversary edition of Just A Minute, Rhod Gilbert hosts comedy quiz Jest A Minute - and there's a wealth of vintage archive clips. Saturday at 9am and 7pm". The program's webpage is at http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00zzm7y

For the ISIHAC fans, BBC Radio 4 Extra will also be airing an April 1982 edition of the show (with Humphrey Lyttelton, Willie Rushton, Graeme Garden, Barry Cryer and Tim Brooke-Taylor) on Weds, 6 April at 9:30am.

(30th Mar)

* BBC Radio 4 Extra (formerly BBC Radio 7, or at least as of tomorrow) will be moving "I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again" from Thursdays to Mondays. According to their schedule, this Monday (4 April) they are scheduled to play episode one in the rarely heard "Professor Prune" series!

* Also on the iPlayer, "I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again" with the second part of the "Professor Prune and the Electric Time Trousers" serial, which was broadcast on BBC Radio 4 Extra (formerly BBC Radio 7) earlier today:

* Wednesdays - 1980's episodes of "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" on BBC Radio 4 Extra at 09:30, repeated the next morning at 01:30.

(12th Apr)

* The following is a mailing from the official I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue mailing list.

Dear I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue Mailing List Member,

I bring you notice of the three recordings in the Spring/Summer series of 'I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue' 2011. They are as follows:

Monday 9th May at the Royal Concert Hall in Nottingham.

A recording for BBC Radio 4. Tickets are all priced at £5, and are obtainable via the theatre's box office, from 9am on Tuesday 19th April 2011.

The Box Office number is 0115 989 5555, and it stays open until 8.30pm.

Tickets are only available by calling the Box Office or by visiting in person, unfortunately for this show they is no on-line booking facility available. As we anticipate an excellent response to this email, we've asked the Royal Concert Hall to limit the number of tickets to 4 per applicant.

The show starts at 7.30pm (doors 6.45pm) and finishes around 10.15pm.

The recording features Jack Dee in the chair, with Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graeme Garden, Barry Cryer and Colin Sell at the piano.

Tuesday 14th June at the Aylesbury Waterside Theatre.

Another recording for BBC Radio 4. Tickets are priced at £9, £7 and £5, and are obtainable via the theatre's booking office on 0844 8717607, from 10am on Tuesday 26th May.

You can also purchase tickets by going in person to the Aylesbury Waterside Theatre box office, Exchange Street, HP20 IUG.

The box office is open from 10am until 15 minutes after that days show opens. If there is no show it closes at 6pm. Because of the huge demand for tickets, we've asked the theatre to limit the number of tickets to 4 per applicant.

The show starts at 7.30pm (doors 7pm) and finishes around 10.15pm.

The recording features Jack Dee in the chair, with Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graeme Garden, Barry Cryer and Colin Sell at the piano.

Thursday 30th June at the Grassington Festival.

Another recording for BBC Radio 4. Tickets are priced at £9, £7 and £5, and are obtainable via the Grassington Festival box office on 01756 752691, from 10am on Thursday 28th April. Otherwise the Festival Box Office is open from 10am-4pm Monday to Saturday (excluding April 29th, the Royal Wedding)

And tickets can also be purchased by calling in person at The Festival Office, Grassington Hub, 2 Garrs Lane, Grassington BD23 5AT

Because of the huge demand for tickets, we've asked the theatre to limit the number of tickets to 4 per applicant.

The show starts at 7.30pm (doors 7pm) and finishes around 10.15pm.

The recording features Jack Dee in the chair, with Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graeme Garden, Barry Cryer and Colin Sell at the piano.

That's about it for now. Hope to see you at a recording.

With best wishes,

Jon Naismith

Producer, I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue

5. GOODIES MUSIC REVIEW #44 - RUN

*********************************

Hi there pop pickers and welcome to another Goodies Music Review.

WHO?

It seems like it's been a hell of a long time between music reviews (though still nowhere near long enough!) for Emperor Caligula (aka Brett Allender) and Peaches Stiletto (aka Linda Kay) – that's because they've been encased in a 350 foot-high block of concrete all the while thanks to the evil (some would say merciful!) work of Harry Highrise. Some would also say that's about the usual amount of concrete that surrounds the Emperor's brain at the best of times – and they'd be right too! – but he's been doing it tough since becoming a monk and retreating to the solitude of the lavatory, especially since the supply of "mystic scents" ran out several months ago. To make matters worse for him, Peaches had also "got religion" and was refusing to eat any vegetables (so he was safe for starters!) but she soon got desperate and starving hungry; chasing him around, sticking apples in his mouth and carrots in unmentionable locations. That's when he came up with the bright idea (well, he's got to fluke one occasionally!) of cooking up the furniture and it's sofa so good at any rate. (Groan … anyone got the number of that concrete company handy?!)

Anyway, courtesy of a joint chorus of massive "turps for burps", their concrete tomb has been reduced to a pile of rubble (like a well-Eckythumped Max Bygraves record – sure do!) and we can now cross to our dashing DJs for their review of "Run" by The Goodies.

WHERE? WHEN?

Unfortunately "Run" hasn't been included on any of the Goodies' commercial releases; however it can be heard as backing music in the following episodes: Hunting Pink, Way Outward Bound, Goodies In The Nick & South Africa

WHAT?

Lyrics: sung by Bill

(Version from "South Africa")

Ooh, ooh, what do you do

I'm comin' runnin' after you

I'm gonna chase you til your hair turns grey

Round, round, don't slow down

Through the city, through the town

I'll never ever let you get away

Run ... run ... run ... I'm coming to get you

Run ... run ... run ... I'm runnin'!

Oh, oh, don't get slow

Ain't about to let you go

Gonna chase you til your knees turn blue

Up the hill and round the bend

Gonna get you in the end

You'd better look out, baby, when I do

Run ... run ... run ... I'm coming to get you

Run ... run ... run ... I'm runnin'!

[Instrumental break]

[Repeat first verse and chorus]

WHY?

(Peaches Stiletto):

It’s inevitable that reading the lyrics to the song Run will jog memories of The Goodies running about in fast speed either trying to catch someone or something or to keep from being caught themselves (either by one another or a nasty person or even, perhaps, a rampaging giant Twinkle or Dougal.) Whether or not this specific song played in those scenes is irrelevant . . . the song evokes a general recollection of all such Goodies moments. The chase scenes in The Goodies were an iconic part of the program, not in a small part because they were most often set to Bill’s contagious music, a technique which harkens back to The Monkees romps which were, in turn, inspired by Richard Lester’s fast-paced editing on the musical segments in both A Hard Day’s Night and Help! One can actually trace the roots of the comic musical chase scenes back to the Keystone Kops when Mack Sennett kept audiences laughing with high-speed antics set to anything from a single piano to a full orchestra, depending upon where the short films were screened. Chaplin went one better by composing his own music to accompany his silent movie antics. Even Scooby Doo could be classified as a predecessor to this kind of crazy, musical mayhem, with bubblegum pop played behind silly animated scenes of “the gang” trying to escape a monster or ghoul (actually an old man in a mask or a bizarrely high-tech 3-D film projector.) Oddly enough the chase scenes in The Goodies which used this song rarely involved the guys chasing after any girls, which is what the lyrics are implying (although, frankly, I’m not sure what the appeal is of eventually catching a grey-haired, blue-kneed, knackered woman would be!) And like The Beatles, Bill promises his quarry that he will “get you in the end” (which naughty-minded persons can interpret in their own way . . . and don’t even suggest he “pass the baton!”) But I’m getting way off track now . . . .

(Emperor Caligula):

If you reckon that you're having a rough trot and that you've done your dash, at least try to be a happy scamper and spare a thought for those gasping Goodies after their wild chase scenes. You just canter imagine the amount of energy expended in pursuing the likes of runaway gibbons, beanstalks, pirate mail, housewives and loony colleagues in all of those madcap marathons, and that's just putting a few of them into sprint. And lope and behold, there are even more instances where the lads have to scuttle off at full tilt to avoid giant geese, US troops, Salvation Army ladies, a wooden dummy of Nicholas Parsons (hang on, that could have been the real Nicholas actually … !), dancing police and an oversized Dougal among many others, so all of this frenzied fleeing deserves a really top tune to back it up. While the incidental music was usually well-chosen anyway, this is the one really funky tune that is on track to lead the charge in any Gallop Poll of chase scene choices for our favourite fugitives from the Old Dart. It's hard to believe that this catchy tune never bobbed up on one of the Goodies' 70s albums, but it's sort of appropriate that it was covered many years ago by an Aussie group called Spiderbait, as being dressed up as mice for Kitten Kong Bait would be the ultimate excuse for the Goodies to pop this song on the nearest gramophone, get into the groove and promptly go like the proverbial clappers in the opposite direction.