Bush admits to being hotter and gassier, blames humans

World leaders are mad as hell about global warming and happy to take it some more.

Despite much global warming grumbling, the G-8 crew left Gleneagles with their standard commitment to inaction intact. The powers did manage to leak the part of their communique that dealt with climate change, so that everyone knew the issue bothered them all. The document, however, failed to detail any environmental goals or plan of attack.

The bout of impotence surprised many who expected Jacques Chirac and Tony Blair to exert significant pressure on George Bush over the global warming issue. Instead, Bush left the summit unscathed. But Bush could be cracking if a speech before the G-8 festivities began is any indication.

"Listen, I recognize the surface of the Earth is warmer, and that an increase in greenhouse gases caused by humans is contributing to the problem," Bush told reporters in Denmark.

That statement marks a rare alignment between Bush's state of mind and that of the scientific community. It's also the typical, minor concession Bush makes to let the global warming freaks feel like they're accomplishing something. The president maintains a stance that says the US economy will crumble if its adherers to Kyoto accord-like policies.

Meanwhile, the Yourtushimpressesmyhandanator Arnold Schwarzenegger, governor of California, went on a global warming crusade ahead of the G-8 meet and greet.

"Ze duh bate is o fer," he (or a staffer) wrote in an opinion piece. "We know the science. We see the threat posed by changes in our climate. And we know the time for action is now."