How Long it Takes to Make Friends, According to a New Study

You know when you start hanging out with someone and you just know you’re going to be BFFs? Or when you meet someone and it feels like you’ve already been friends forever? It turns out it actually takes some time to cement that friendship status, according to a new study. The first-of-its-kind study by an associate professor of Communications from the University of Kansas has been released, and it’s helping to define how friendships grow. Maybe it even holds the secret to friendship goals like Camila Mendes and Lili Reinhart?

The professor who conducted the study, Jeffrey Hall, has used his research to define the exact amount of time necessary to make friends with someone. He’s also found how long it will typically take to deepen a relationship and become better friends. According to a release from the University of Kansas, the study found that it takes approximately 50 hours of time together to go from being someone’s acquaintance to casual friend. It takes about 90 hours to go from being casual friends to friends, and more than 200 hours before considering someone a close friend or best friend.

But it isn’t spending just any kind of time together that deepens a friendship — hours spent working together, for example, don’t count as much as hours spent getting to know someone by hanging out, joking around, playing video games, and doing more playful activities. The study explains that these kinds of activities help us to foster a deeper and more personal bond with someone, and make us feel truly comfortable around them. “We have to put that time in,” Hall said in a release announcing the findings. “You can’t snap your fingers and make a friend,” he said, adding, “When people transition between stages, they’ll double or triple the amount of time they spend with that other person in three weeks’ time. I found freshmen who spent one-third of all waking hours in a month with one good friend.”

The results of the study come from analysis of 355 responses to an online survey from adults who said they had moved in the last six months and were looking for new friends in their new homes. Survey participants were asked about new relationships as well as hours spent together and activities in which they engaged. They were then asked to rate their resulting relationships in one of four stages: acquaintance, casual friend, friend and close friend. The number of hours it took from people to transition from one level or stage of friendship to another were then estimated, based on participants’ answers.

In addition to conducting the study, he and a colleague created an online tool that claims to test how close you are with someone. You can take it for yourself and see the results for you and your friends!

The main conclusion that Hall came to is that making close friends takes serious effort and investment. He cites previous studies which say that more early friendships you create, the greater your chances of happiness in life are. The study shows that ultimately, if you want to make friends, you have to make spending time with someone a priority, and inviting them to go do fun things is key. So if there’s someone in your life you’ve been wanting to spend more time with, now you know what to do to lock down BFF status!