Five Writers' Writing

Countdown to Caffiene

by Sue Trollip

I’m attempting to go caffeine free for 3 days. I’m 24 hours in and was asleep for 8 of those, so it’s been 16 hours with no coffee. As luck would have it it’s also been a day that I didn’t have to go to work. I love not having to get up and go to work. I crawl out of bed, boot up the laptop and put on the coff… oh … I make myself a lovely cup of peppermint tea.

Peppermint tea is wonderful. It tastes like peppermint and has many amazing properties such as it’s caffeine free and smells like peppermint. Then I drink some water, more water and then I look at the yellow box of camomile, this is good I think, it helps with sleeplessness. That’s really not my problem. It’s wakefulness that I need help with. Camomile also has fantastic properties like keeping you calm and soothing your nerves. It suggests on the box that EVERYONE enjoys it without milk or sugar then, and you can almost hear the disapproval in the tea box copy-writer’s voice, it states: ‘If sweetening is required we recommend a teaspoon of honey’. Well I tried a dessert spoon of honey and down the hatch it all went.

It’s impossible to write while drinking these naf drinks. I need something strong, toe curling, dark and mysterious. I need beans, not these silly leaves. I need the smell of excitement and exoticness, not damp silage. I need smooth, silky decadence, not sticks hiding out in a teabag.

What I really need is the jittery boost that floods my veins when I’m three cups in and haven’t stopped for breakfast.

Today the writing is slow instead of my fingers jerking with over-caffeinated delirium across the keyboard, my brain is sluggish and my fingers are plodding. There’s no rhythm, there’s no flutter of keys only staccato jerking. To disguise this I’ve cranked up the radio. I hope the neighbours are out.