Neurolinguistic programming is a way to change our behavior patterns. It relies on communication between the processes in our brain, the way we use language, and our existing thought patterns. Neurolinguistic programming is based on the understanding that we interact with people and objects around us based on our perception of the world, not some objective external reality. This is similar to the way we use a map to navigate our way around an unfamiliar city. Our internal map is based on our past experiences and the current information that we have available to us. A bad experience with a dog in our past means that the neighbors barking dog is labeled as "danger" on our map.

Neurolinguistic programming in the process of growing our internal map and adding missing information. Most importantly it is about realizing that your internal map needs to be dynamic. When someone locks in their view of the world it can seriously limit their ability for emotional growth and the ability to adapt to new situations. Most importantly is that it is possible to be more happy and overcome fear by changing the way you think using specific neurolinguistic programming techniques.

One of these is anchoring. Anchoring is a technique in which you intentionally nurture a memory associated with a positive feeling which can then be recalled when you need it. A neurolinguistic programming technique specifically for communication is matching. Matching involves mirroring your conversation partners body language style and expressive language. For example, some people use visual descriptors to describe their perception such as "I see", others use feeling "I feel like". It's important to note that this technique is about matching the style, not content of the person you are communicating with.

In the language of neurolinguistic programming, our internal "map of the world" is called a "meta-model". We expand our meta-model of relationships by asking questions that help us understand how the people around us perceive and understand the world. We do this through open ended questions and active listening.