Sunday, May 29, 2005

DanicaFor the few of you still living in the cave... let me be the first to point out that apparently there is a chick driving in the Indianapolis 500 today. Not only that... The media is busy hyping her as a potential winner... and of course... in the process is piling tons of pressure on the girl.

Now... before I get started let me first say that I have nothing against this chick at all. She's a little hottie... she's pure spitfire, and she can drive like hell. I can't help but like her... not just because she's talented and hot... but because she's obviously the kind of chick that I've always loved... You know the one... the one who'd much rather hangout with the boys than the girls? Not a bull dyke tomboy... but all girl... who just happened to prefer to hang with us. DrWho... Kristy.... Laurie... Joy... all my favorite chicks fit this mold... even X. They all fit the mold.

That said...

Why are they pressuring this chick to win? Is she talented enough? Hell yeah she is... but ummm.. People...

She's a rookie.

We don't put rookies out there at the Indy500 and tell them to win the thing. Ya put them out there and tell them to survive... to learn... to gain the valuable experience so that one day they might eventually win.

In the Court of the Media... at this point, if Danica don't win, she's a failure.

Worse than this are the already prevelant calls for her to jump to NASCAR.

NASCAR? Are you crazy?

Setting aside the fact that Shawna Johnson already drives in the Nextel Cup... though she's never had the equipment to do anything really... What irks me about this media charge is the all the "Teach those Rednecks a Lesson" talk.

I mean... are they tryin' to get the girl killed?

NASCAR and Indy are barely the same sport. If anything... Open Wheels racing has been relegated to the Minor Leagues folks. That may sound like blasphemy... but thats the plain truth. Drivers are making their repuation in Indy cars, and then jumping to NASCAR to cash in, and race with the Big Boys.

There's no bumpin' and grindin' in Indy cars.

The Big Media attidude of showin' up the locals... is just exact attitude that Danica has never displayed... and it's their attitude, and their accusations, that could translate to the girl spending a few nights in the hospital.

But hey.. let's not jump the gun here... She ain't won Indy yet... and frankly its insane for anyone to honestly expect her to. She's a rookie. She's by definition inexperienced.

So how about we stop worryin' about what ain't between her legs, and instead consider what ain't between her ears.

If the girl runs in the top 10... That's a huge accomplishment... and Top5 would damned near be a miracle. I'm rooting for her. I just think people should be a little more realistic.

Friday, May 27, 2005

ATFIt's a sad day boys. It's official... Res done went Kimber on us. I for one couldn't be more disappointed in the boy... well... I could... I mean... goin' Kimber ain't quite as bad as goin' pillow-biter... but hell... its the first step. Next thing you know he's gonna be carryin' a Glock... and we all know where that leads... Hell... it'll only be a matter of weeks before he's on his knees in the back room of some adult bookstore.

In other... more upbeat news CZ purchased Dan Wesson. Now WellDigger personally wet himself when he learned this... but personally I see it as a good thing. CZ is a company that ain't goin' anywhere. They bring stability and deep pockets. Two things that Dan Wesson has really never had before. I would've blogged on this sooner, but I wanted to see some real evidence that quality wasn't gonna drop. It hasn't. CZ obviously wanted into the 1911 market... well... Buyin' Dan Wesson is one helluva way to get there. I don't know where y'all stand on CZ, but personally I love 'em. The CZ-75 is easily one of the top 3 most copied firearms in the world... maybe second only to the 1911. Their guns are accurate, reasonably priced, ultra reliable... and innovative. What else do you want?

Now if you pardon me... I'm off to smoke this here Torano. Just me an ma' here tonight... so I'll be behavin' myself for the most part... You're welcome to stop buy the gargage... that's where you'll find me least ways. No beverage options declared tonight... spied a white merlot from beringer that I thought I might give a shot... Call it a fetish... I ain't proud. Dunno.

It's with great amusement that I read of whining parents in Gwinnett County, Georgia... who were all in a tissy over a local school's pass/fail policy. Seems the kids all pass or fail the whole year based on one test... and when the kids figured this out... duh... they stopped doing their homework.

Tennessee WaltzSo 2 years ago, the TBI, FBI, and US Attorney's Office started a fake electronics recycling company called E-Cycle. They used undercover agents posing as company reps to approach several Tennessee lawmakers. They got laws proposed and sponsored by Lawmaking big wigs, in an obvious quid pro quo.

The fun starts really with Ford... who apparently has made serious threats against federal witnesses. Of course... to tennesseans this is not a suprise.

There is still wide spectulation about the identity of the 7th suspect. Also, we should note that this is unrealted to the on-going TennCare corruption investigation... and of course... the Fords are involved in that one too.

The FBI has left the capital... apparently the person they were looking for wasn't there. They actually searched the chambers.

*** UPDATE ***The word is now that several more arrests are expected... search warrants are being served all over the state, in Knoxville, Chattanooga, Nashville, and of course Memphis. A total of 11 or 12 arrests are expected. Several local sources are reporting this.

In fact... as I type this... The Senate is currently in session... and most of those folks are lookin' around tryin' to figure out who ain't there... and if there are more arrests to come.

A press conference is scheduled for 11:00am CST... but the word is the arrests are related to violations of the Hobbs Act.

You should be aware that this could definately be "Hillbilly Mafia" related... as the Mayor of Memphis... Willie Harrington... has had his name tossed about today as well.

Interesting times kids...

Stay tuned.

***UPDATE*** The FBI has the Tennessee State Capital surrounded. No one is allowed in or out. Tennessee is currecntly under seige folks. My dad just crossed the state line and he reports that there are 20 state troopers at the line... and apparently its happening all over the state. Troopers are stationed at the stateline on both I-24 and I-65. Draw your own conclusions folks. My gut says they are tryin' to prevent legislators from fleeing the state.

Mr axes: Now you Southron folks (or Midwesterners), question for you... does the term Hillbilly carry any negative connotation, to you, with it?

The short answer to this question is no. There is no negative connotation with the term. Like the term "redneck", "hillbilly" has become sort of a badge of pride for folks who resent the ever increasing urban influence in our culture.

Generally, we think of hillbillies as the easy-going types... old fella sittin' barefoot on his porch... mindin' his own business... with a shotgun leaned up against the wall next to him...

Where as a redneck would be the easy-going type... old fella sittin barefoot on his porch... mindin' his own business... with a shotgun across his lap.

The difference is subtle... but important.

Rednecks are more in-your-face about their disdain for city folk, city ways, and damned yankees. Hillbilly's come off as more passive agressive, and far more benevolent.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

RednecksIf you've not yet found your way over to Fred's to read about Rednecks, and the virtues there-of, I suggest you get up off your hindlegs and do so now... or at least... click the link.

I remember back after 9/11... there was a noticable attitude change about men in America. It makes sense too, as all those invertabrates in New York had to sit and watch... totally helpless... totally useless... while the Men came downtown in trucks to put the place back together.

It's quite a wake-up call when you finally come face-to-face with the realities of the world. If I can build a house... then should I need to, I can build a house.

If you push forms for a living... or some other trivial garbage... when the time comes... you're just balast.

Always remember... when you hear someone slamming on rednecks... they ain't actually slamming on a small segment of society.

They're slamming on men.

And if you're one of those boys who is secure in his knowledge that those redneck jokes ain't aimed at him... well... You may as well go buy your pretty pink panties and make that pedicure appointment.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

I know I ain't been postin' much... but hey... I just can't abide this dial-up crap. Vintage 1995 technology... screw this.

Thankfully I finally talked Joy into bringin' over a wireless card.

ARGH!!

We're Pirates baby! I swear.. Does anyone know how to use the security on their wireless routers? I'm sittin' here surfin' on somebody's bandwidth... I have no idea whose though...

Oh wait... I suppose now I'm influencing Christians to steal eh? I mean... The Bible is very clear that we shouldn't steal right? Oh dear... I'm being a bad influence... whatever shall I do....

I had somethin' to say.... but I've got some 101 and RC... and well... whatever it was just doesn't seem so damned important now... ah well... Screw it. I should be home directly... My new tire is bein' installed as I type. So I reckon I'll get outta Joy's hair tomarrow. She's been a helluva hostess though...

So what are we into tonight? Sounds like ol' Dave Goodyear is into the shine... hehehe... gonna be a big night over there! Pour ol' JAC's old lady won't let him drink at home... so he's probly sneakin' off to the barn to sip a little Turkey. In the meantime, Darlin' Joy is gonna be setup nicely with some Hypnotiq and Dew... Personally I wouldn't be caught dead with the stuff... but hey... I ain't got a vagina... Vox on the other hand...

I'm gonna run out to the package store to pick up somethin' tastey. May get WhiskeyGirl's favorite Russel's Reserve. May stick with Makers.... Just never know.

Otherwise you'll find me out on the back deck smokin' my C.A.O. Dominican... Easy draw... full bodied cigar... tough to beat for the money...

I thought I should take a minute to cover the playlist... particularly since its still bein' used as the soundtrack for this evenin'. Not all of the tunes tonight of course... when you're not on 2 wheels... you can only stand so much Motley Crue... I dropped some hints in the tellin'... I'm interested to see if any of you guys were suprised after ya see the list.

Hehehe... so a few of these things are not like the others eh? Number 13 really don't fit does it? I simply cannot ride without Cowboys Like Us. Just ain't in me. As for the prevailance of the Crue.... well... what can I say... I was at Kristy's when I loaded up the MP3 player... and she has a Crue fetish. But you didn't hear that from me. Hey... admitting "Kickstart My Heart" was on there was a whole lot easier than coppin' to that Nickleback crap. What can I say... Joy ain't got the best selection of MP3's on this laptop... in fact... there's none.. not one... so I'm screwed here.

Did I mention I'm usin' an F'ing dialup connection? This is killin' me.

As for guns... the best thing I have to report... is the fact that I'll be at the largest gun show in the state of Georgia tomarrow. You can expect a report.

Anyway... I'm alone.... just me and the dogs here... Smokin' and drinkin'.. smokin' and drinkin'.... Hell throw in Jesus and by God now we'd a song! Maybe work a train in there... and something about Mama... Hrm... We'll see how this all works out. Probly have to send someone else for the booze... dammit.

Storming Mount BloodAt the Georgia border I pulled off 129 for a little pit stop. The planned route called for 129 all the way to Gainesville... and the little burg of Blairsville that I found myself in looked like a good spot to stretch my legs. I pulled into the little gas station... Picture perfect for the New South. Plenty of modern pumps... but there were still 4 rockin' chairs in the front of the store, and 2 were occupied.

I dismounted... said my howdies to the locals and answered the now standard questions about the bike. Like I said... Rock Star.

I picked up my provisions and meandered up to the counter... after I paid the lady, then I decided to play dumb and ask directions to Gainseville. I do this sometimes... just because I prefer to take the roads the locals take. They live here. They know the good routes. She confirmed what I already knew...

"Just follow 129 south all the way... Take ya straight to Gainesville... over Mount Blood."

?

Now... that got my attention.

"Mount Blood?"

"Yup... bout an hour south of here. The Mountain takes a couple every year."

I played dumb one more time..

"Couple what?"

"Lives."

Ok then. 4 folks have died on the Dragon already... and now apparently I've got another killer before me. What a ride.

Armed with this new info I decided to give the King a good once over. I checked and double checked the tire pressure. Tipped my hat to a couple 10 year olds who were starin'... and mounted up.

North Georgia was beautiful... Green... Rugged... Just like east Tennessee. I was fallin' in love to the music of of 16 valves per cylinder. I danced through the mountains without a care. The road was excellent... the scenery was spectacular... and God was smiling.

Not long after a quick jaunt through a little town square I found King's nose pointing a little higher... We had found the mountain. The first hint of something out of the ordinary went flying by in the other direction... a 10-speed bicycle... had to be doing 80mph... hrmm...

The two-lane widened to 3... two-lanes up... one down... and now came the switchbacks. Not tightly like the Dragon... We're not talkin' prom queen tight here... no... these were more like that dirty little girl down the street... Not the prettiest thing in town... but you know the type... Built for Speed... and Eager to Please.

Where the Dragon requires you to brake down to 15 mph... these were wider... with more room for error... more forgiving... more.... more fun? No... not more fun... but... more something... Maybe its more relaxed? You can enjoy it a little more because you're not on the thin edge of the knife the whole time... or maybe its just in my head.

Through S after S... switchback after switchback... I suddenly find myself being tailgated.... by a minivan. Are you kidding me? How was this possible? Was this idiot just dying to die?

I was riding in the far right lane... and I was flyin'... but this cat was on me like stink. It just made no sense... I let up.. and let the moron go by. Didn't take long to see what the deal was. The idiot was straightening out every turn... using everybit of both uphill lanes... and more often than not drifting over into the on-coming lane. Moron. No wonder the mountain takes a couple every year.

Even with his idiocy and my bike loaded down I could've dusted that fool... but why? These are roads. It's not a track. I didn't come here to roll down a hill or splatter my guts all over a tree.

Of course.. as expected.. for all his bravado blasting up the hill... he lost his nerve coming down. The "suspension" on the minivan was swaying all over and after saving itself once, when I was certain it was about to flip... the moron finally got the message and backed way down... but after that I decided that the risk of riding around behind the idiot was worse that the brief burst it would take to ditch him...

So... I'll take option two please...

He was no longer straightening out the turns... so in the next S I made the move. Lean hard left entering the turn... let the King drift out as I drop the hammer. King stands himself up just in time for me to lean into the right turn exiting the S and leave the minivan to steadily shrink in the mirror.

I found myself wishing I had a passenger... then wishing I didn't have all this luggage... then wishing I had more time... I found myself wishing I could just stay at this mountain.. just ride it over and over again... Ah but it wasn't to be... Gainesville was up ahead... and with it Interstate 985.. then 85... then on to Swanee and Darlin' Joy's townhouse... my wife... my boys... mmm.. and bourbon... yes...

Thursday, May 19, 2005

As the light turned green, I lean King in to the left... and followed the Mythical Highway 129 South. We were followin' her all the way to Georgia... but the Dragon lie in Smokies before us.

King... that's what I call him now. It fits. With the new metalic black paint... the red tires... and the wicked red C.O.B.R.A. symbol on the windshield. King snakes are some the largest snakes in Dixie... and they are known to eat lesser slithery types. Yes... King Indeed.

Now... the road leading into those mountains gives little hint to the chaos that awaits. Its a smooth, easily flowing two lane country road. "Don't mind little ol' me." it might say. But I've been here before... No foolin' this ol' boy.

The first real hint of what lay ahead is the ever increasing frequency with which motorcycles are seen. Further down... the road is still calm, but the occasional S curves are showing up now. We take them at the standard posted-speed... well... ahem... give or take. We pass Fourth Creek... which is odd... because we never passed First, Second, or Third Creek... but hey...

Now we're at our typical country road cruising speed... roughly 80mph. Nothing exciting... just movin' on down the road... thinking of the battle that I know is coming.

Another hard S curve. Coming out of the sweeping left I notice the first motorcycle specific tourist trap. I thought about stopping... but the new tunes that Kristy had loaded up on the MP3 player were a little to inspiring for that... Kickstart my heart indeed.

King is raring to go. I can feel it beneath me... begging... pleading... It was something I knew I had to resist... today... the bike just wanted to go. But not here... not now... I was travelling... I had no time to stop and make a donation to the Tree of Shame.

The curves were picking up. I knew the Dragon was close... A steady stream of motorcycles now poured by heading north. It's Tuesday... People work on Tuesday...

WARNING. LANE CROSSING KILLS

Now it ain't every day you see a sign directed specificly at motorcycles... and this is one that I knew for a fact was worth payin' attention to. Four people have died on this road already this year.

Up ahead I see it... the first insane right turn.... number 1 of 318... The low slung groove of Rage Against the Machine came to a screaching halt as I reached in my pocket and silenced the tune. No time to screw around here. This is no movie. The only soundtrack is the 998cc's between your legs. You consentrate... you give this road every ouce of your attention... JAC bit here just last year. I couldn't afford to make a similar mistake.

The Dragon is a series of extremely hard right turns, followed by some lazy S curves, then a big left sweeper... then the pattern repeats... over and over and over... with slight variations.

The first hard rights I found myself pushing King way down into the corner.. entering way to early. When I would hammer it to pull out of the turn, he would drift ever closer to the dreaded center line. Repeat after me. We do not cross the center line.

I was making the standard rookie mistake of a two-point turn... you turn hard at the begining, then settle.. then hard at the end to fix your line... this is pretty much how average joe rides... but I know better.

After few I diagnose the problem... and go with my typical "Kenny Roberts Method" where I slow down, and set up the turn really well... so I can make a hard 1-point turn, then use the King's power to drive out of it. That's that... now we're flyin'.

No one in front... no one behind... No pressure.

I pulled off at the mid-point lookout... just to see who's there... I was happy to find that someone had burned a smiley face in the pavement with their rear tire.

Only at the Dragon.

I finished the Dragon... kicked sand its face... and pulled on into the Tail of the Dragon Motorcycle Resort... the home of the Tree of the Shame. Now the one bad thing about this place... is that when your normally a rockstar... here... a guy on a sportbike is just a guy on a sportbike... I mean... everyone has one.

But here... apparently I was still a rock star. See... not everyone has the King.

A crowd of folks walked around King... Diggin' the tires... wondering allowed at exactly what kind of bike he was. Hey... when the Aprilia boys are talking about your bike... you're doin' ok. You know what I'm sayin?

Anyway... I grabbed some t-shirts, new shades, and hydrated up... then it was time to mount up and hit the road again...

The Dragon was down... but little did I know... I'd be crossing Mount Blood before the sun went down...

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Doc Holliday"He was the most skillful gambler, and the nerviest, fastest, deadliest man with a six-gun I ever saw." - Wyatt Earp, who apparently knew a few things about deadly men.

When old men and young boys talk about the Old West... few characters dominate the conversation like Doc... the orginal fatalist.

"Live like you were dyin' " is a cute phraze sung by a manicured pretty-boy pretending to be a cowboy. But Doc... Doc Holliday was dyin'... and he lived like it. He came to the sensible conclusion that for a man damned to a slow, painful, degrading death... A quick end should be preferable.

Would that we could see that so clearly today.

It's amazing what a man who has no fear of death can do. Every enemy of the Earps that died at the OK Corral was shot at least one time by Doc. Johnny Tyler pulled a gun on Doc in a saloon, and before he could shoot.... Doc snatched out his blade and disembowelled him. Apparently bringin' a knife to a gun fight wasn't such a bad deal for ol' Doc.

What isn't told about Doc is that at least 3 times he tried to settle down... in fact he even hung out his shingle a few times... returning to his previous profession as a dentist.

Ordinary life just couldn't hold the man's interest though... and besides... young punks kept wanting to get shot.

When I think about all the stories.. I wonder... just who was the best? Doc? Wyatt? What about the James boys? On the surface it may be a simpe... as we all have our favorites... but... aw hell... ya know... I wouldn't really wanna know the answer... even if I could.

Me and ol' Jim are gonna need somethin' to talk about when we finaly settle our bourbon and pistol disputes.

Friday, May 13, 2005

ATFIt's Friday kids... you know what that means? That's right. Time to wadded up all those worries and flush'em away with fire and water... or... more likely... as I am... With a Cuban Label cigar and a Margarita that's more like a tall glass of tequila.

Like the Dude says... F*** it.

I know I know... you expect better of me... but I just ain't got it today. WhiskyGirl is up here to help DrWho fly South with my boys. I won't see any of them until a week from Saturday, and frankly... the thought has me more than a little nausiated. Jeb's nappin'... otherwise I wouldn't even be here right now. Last few moments are to precious to waste on a damn computer. Piss on them what makes light of it.

Don't feel sorry for ol' Nate though... Fact is... I'm spending next week in Myrtle Beech. Oh yeah.. it's a tough life ain't it? Me and the boys are ridin' down monday... and I plan on layin' drunk on the beach for at least 3 days. So while you're at work Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, do try to feel sorry for me... as I could well be suffering from a hang over or mild sunburn.

Say Kristy... You ain't got a job either... You wanna a two-wheeled ride to the beach for a few days?

Hey... don't get to jealous... it's bike week. That means that the place will be filled with fat guys on harleys. Not my idea of good company. I'm just hoping enough locals come out to improve the... umm... ahem.... scenery.

Say Will... Do ya have a bike?

Damn this cigar is good. And no.. I ain't tellin' ya any more... it's a Cuban Label... that's all you get to know. Now where was I?

Oh yeah... the beach... You girls don't get your bikini's wadded up either. I may enjoy the sights... but I'll behave myself. The little beach skanks will be hot.. but none of them have earn a shot at the title.

Hrmm.. this talk of riding has me thinkin' of tunes... what's the deal with arena rock and motorcycles? I hate Motley Crue and always have... but I'll be damned if I don't love 'em when I'm on the bike.. and I'd love to see Nickleback boiled alive in peanut oil... but hey... throw on "Figured you out" while I'm on the Phantom and an involuntary smile creeps across my face.

And now I'm wonderin' about what's goin' on at the old blog next week... Probly not much. JAC and Will are gonna have to pick up the slack. In fact.. I may well give them access... I wonder how they'd do if they actually had an audiance.... hehehe.. sorry boys... I couldn't resist. Personally I'd love to see either of them submit something to Vox for a saturday post. Fact is they both kick ass. If you don't read them... well... your loss. That's a fact.

Speakin' of ass kickin'... I'd say it's about time to wrap this ATF thing up... so let's get to the guns eh?

If you've any sense at all you've been to JAC's and learned that he purchased a new supa-bad 1911. A Thompson 1911 to be specific. That's the one... same folks that made the TommyGun. He claims it's shooting .75 inch. Please remember too.. that's 3/4 of an inch by our standards... meaning the two shots that hit furthest apart... not like those girls from the Magazines measure. At last report she was still havin' ejection issues... but that's not uncommon for a new gun. She's just gettin broken it. I'm glad to report however that my PT-101 was reliable right out of the box. But hey... That's why I carry it... and we don't expect that sort of thing...it's just nice when it happens.

I suppose it wouldn't be fair to not report that WhiskyGirl in fact liked Russel's Reserve better than she liked the Bookers. So there ya have it. Chicks like Wild Turkey. Draw your own conclusions.

This is by no means a knock on WhiskyGirl, whom I love dearly. She even pointed out that since I let her try that Turkey she has relegated her Canadian Piss... I mean Royal Crown... to mixing with coke. I for one don't know why anyone would waste a perfectly good coke with that stuff.. but to each her own. Maybe she was mixing it with Big K? We should give her the benefit of the doubt.

Anyway... I've got a good buzz... the suns out... I've already been out on two-wheels.. and I have a female companion... it's hard to complain. Y'all have a good time out there... Drink 'em, Smoke 'em... and should it be necessary... Smoke them too.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

The Coming Doom

Somewhere in a lonely hotel room there's a guy startin' to realize that eternal fate has turned its back on him... it's two a.m.

Interestingly enough... despite Herr Greenspan's talk of inflation... we see that in last few weeks the Fed has once again been pumping out money like the black dog of deflation is growling at the door.

Remeber... The Fed is the organization that claims that the Great Depression (tm) was caused by a failure to print enough money. I mean... they write that in their manual. That's like reading the substitution property of mathmatics can be applied to sports in a bookie's guide.

And just in case we have any Dave Ramsey fans left... here you will find an excellent little editorial on just exactly why real estate is not where you want to be. Things are about to Pop folks, and it ain't gonna be pretty. More charts there to Jamie.

Please remember that what some of us fear is far worse than what happened in the 30's. An overnight crash is violent.. but it's like tearing off a bandaid. It hurts, but it's short and over with. I've a feeling we're in for a long slow decline over the course of a decade or more. There could well be a few catastophic collapses in various markets like Real Estate and Banking... but other than that I don't expect massive sudden blood-letting.

But hey... no one has a crystal ball. No one knows exactly what is going to happen. All we know is the basic framework of rules. What goes up, must come down.

Read your Bible, and use it as a guide for your financial life. Save and Give. Save and Give.

F*** Me-So Mee-ShellSo little Miss Malkin wants us to thank a cop today. yeah.. I'll be sure to call up the cop in Murfreesboro, TN who shot a 78 year old man, because he didn't stop his car when he was told to. Never mind that mechanics later determined that the accelerater had been stuck. The cop said, "The man was gonna hit me. He made eye contact with me." Of course he was... which explains why the accelerator was stuck.

I'll also be sure to thank another cop in that same small town. A female cop this time, who shot a woman at a gas station. The woman was in her car... the cop was standing in front of the car, demanding she exit the vehicle. The woman refused. The cop shot her, and now she... like the old man, are both dead. The cop said, "She was trying to hit me. She wouldn't make eye-contact with me." When the woman's body was removed from the car, it was found to still be in reverse.

Reverse.

Now let me get this straight... the old man made eye-contact... and that was interprated as a threat... the woman did not make eye-contact... and that was also interprated as a threat.

Listen carefully people. If you encounter a cop, you better just go ahead and assume he's a nutcase looking for an excuse to kill you. Because frankly, he is. He's probably scared to death, and scared people are dangerous as hell. If he's not scared... then chances are he's just that damned mean, and you don't want to screw around with him either.

So Miss Malkin... Here's a member of the non-elite media... just the little old BloggerBlaster... and I say unto thee:

Pucker up and kiss my law-abiding citizen ass.

I'll thank a Cop when Cops stop killin' people for no damned reason, or better yet, start leavin' us the hell alone.

Bad Joke Wednesday- At Heathrow airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor and a graphic calculator.

Authorities believe he is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement.He is being charged with carrying Weapons of Math Instruction.

-What is Count Dracula's favorite landmark? The Vampire State Building.

- Why did the sheep jump into the lake? He wanted to take a ba-a-a-th.

- What kind of coat does a vampire wear in the rain? A wet one.

- What style of art was preferred by the Third Reich? Post-Imprussianist

-Murphy's wife told him he should put a pair of clean socks on every day. By Friday he couldn't get his boots on.

- A small grocery store had just installed some new juice machines, and everybody who worked there was excited about who would be chosen to run them. One employee in particular, a grocery bagger, was determined to get the job. He went to the manager and made his case, telling his boss how excited he was about the new juicers, and how badly he wanted to be the one chosen to run them. His boss turned him down."But why?" protested the hapless young man.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

F*** the PoliceNon-compliance is not an option. That's what it's come to. A simple speeding ticket results in a woman who is 8 months pregnant being tazed and a arrested. Why? Because she refused to sign a speeding ticket.

But... she must've gotten mad and taken a swing at the police right? She assaulted them!

Nope. She simply refused to exit her car when ordered to. When they tried to push her out of the car, she simply held on to the steering wheel.

So out comes the tazer.

Of course... I suppose we should be thankful right? I suppose we're to assume if they didn't have that tazer, they would've had to simply beat her senseless with their nitesticks or maglites. See... you need to remember... you're not being punished for the crime specificly, because you haven't been convicted yet. What you're being punished for is disobeying the police. When a cop says jump you say "how high?" Get it? Otherwise you better get used to the idea of pain.

I don't know where you stand on this cop thing... but I can tell you for certain that I've had enough of it. Piss on them. I used to contribute to the Fraternal Order of Police in both Tennessee and West Virginia, but I stopped last year. You wanna know how much my attitude has changed?

Those cops showed her that tazer before they used it on her. That constitutes a threat. A cop pulls that shit with me, or mine, we're gonna go. Plain and simple.

Tazing and arresting a woman over not signing a ticket. I can't believe that crap.

THAT is the difference between a law officer and peace officer. A peace officer wouldn't care if she didn't sign the damned thing. He certainly wouldn't disrupt the peace by causing such a ruckus as all this. But a law officer? He doesn't care about the peace. He only cares about the law, and the law says you sign the damned ticket or else.

So that's it for ol' Nate. No more signing tickets. They tell me to sign it, I'm drawing a straight line in the signature box. If anyone asks me if that's my signature, I'm gonna answer honestly.

"Nope".

And for the record... I want to make sure my position is clear on the confrontation aspect of this...

If that woman had gotten scared and shot one of those cops before he tazed her, I wouldn't lose a minute's sleep over it, and I'd do my damnedest to get on that jury and find her innocent.

This has gone to far. Its time that law abiding citizens start stomping some cop ass.

*** UPDATE ***

Just in case that's not enough for you... Perhaps this will also help change your attitude. Please note that while no weapon was found in or around the vehicle, cops still emptied 120 rounds into it... well... it... and the walls and windows of various surrounding homes... and apparently into each other as well. But hey, this nutcase led them on a chase... with speeds up to 35 miles per hour! He had it comin!

Gold, Canned Soup, and the Coming DoomNateMail: Hudson has been exposed to Dave Ramsey, and wants my take.

Myth: Gold is a good investment and will cover me if the economy collapses.Truth: Gold has a poor track record and isn't used when an economy collapses.He goes on to say that "gold is a lousy investment with a long track record of mediocrity" and "gold is not used when economies fail." He says that historyshows that in economic collapses people revert back to a black market or barter system and that gold loses nearly all value. His solution is that it would be better to invest in real estate or canned soup.First let me start by saying that Dave Ramsey is a good guy, and his ideas on being debt free, and financial security are pretty much spot on. That however, hardly means that he's right on everything else.

Before you take his advice on real estate you should be aware that his real estate investments have lead him multiple bankruptcies. His idea's on mortgages are simply stupid, and amount to giving away money, as they ignore the most important variable... i.e. the interest rate at which the money can be borrowed.

I'm not throwing Dave under the bus here for no reason though. I just want you know that he's by no means an authority beyond question. For that matter, no one is.

But on to the question...

The belief that Gold is a poor investment in hard times, stems from the idea that gold will be impracticle. Like Bill and Gregg pointed out, you cain't eat it. They'll also tell ya that it will be awefully hard to exchange for goods.

While neither of these are incorrect, they certainly don't tell the tale. As cash loses its value, the cash value of gold will sky-rocket. This means that while everyone else's bank account has become increasingly worthless, your gold has stayed the same. So while you can't go to the grociery store and buy bread with it, you certainly can cash it in. Don't let anyone tell you that gold dealers will suddenly disappear.

Even when FDR confiscated gold, it was still around. Though the lessons are learned now.. so lots of folks who horde the stuff make no mention of it, and always pay cash for it.

Tangible assets like Gold are a vehicle for saving your money. See... it just doesn't do you any good to save your cash, if that cash is rapidly being destroyed by inflation.

But what about investing in something like real estate? In this particular case... that's about the dumbest thing you can do. This is a Real Estate Bubble for crying out loud. Remember... By LOW, sell high. Not the other way around. Real estate prices are insane right now.

In fact, if I were in real estate... and well... I kinda am... I would be looking to get out... and I kinda am. Once the bubble pops, you can get back in, and get back in cheap. But hey... it's idea like this that lead ol' Dave to bankruptcy. I mean hell... if he knew that much about investing, he'd still be doin' it, instead of making his money by talkin' on the radio and sellin' books.

Back to surviving the Coming Doom for a second. I don't mean to imply that you should sock everything you own into Gold or silver or something. You should have a store of cash... but only an emergency store. You should have 6 months of food. You should have water. You should have guns. A good garden... or better still, a working farm is the best bet.

Gold alone isn't gonna save your butt. You have to do that yourself. But the infuriating thing about these types of debates, is that no one is claiming that it will. We're saying, it's an important part of the equation, but not the whole equation.

The self-reliant are the ones who do well in hard times. You're best investment, and best protection, is learning to be that.

IndoctrinationWhen I think about the indoctrination of the South, the truely terrifying thing is its success. The goal was to fill Southrons with self-loathing, guilt, and give them an inferiority complex, and it couldn't have gone more perfectly.

Miseducated southrons, otherwise inteligent people, will look you in the eye and claim that there is no way the South could survive economically in today's world. Point out to them that as of last year, if the South were to reinstate the C.S.A., it would instantly have the world's third largest GDP behind only the remaining US, and China, and you tend to get uncomfortable laughs or blank stares.

See, they've never thought about it.

You may get them to offer up various responses at this point, but my favorite is the one that claims that our economy would be to dependent on that of the remaining USA. Not only is this not true, it's not even a valid theory. Neither the Mexican, nor Canadian economies could withstand a major collapse in the USA, yet they are seperate countries governing themselves. This is ignoring the fact as well, that givin the Southron take on limited government, its reasonable to assume that many, if not most, of the businesses that have fled the US would return to the South, because of its low taxes and tort reform. In short, we could over take the remaining US in a matter of a decade or so.

How can one look at the little countries of the baltics, and think that a country with as much wealth and industry as the South wouldn't be able to survive... nay thrive?

The worst response though... the sickening one... is the one that comes more often. It stems from the same place as the first, but its more honest. The fact is, lots of our Southrons just don't think we're smart enough to work out that whole self-determination deal. They really believe we're just stupid backwards hicks, and the only reason we have any success at all is via our association with the educated and industrious North.

Just typin' that makes me want to puke.

In 1861, the South adopted a flag that only varied from the colonial flag in the number of stars in the blue field. Why?

Because they believed they had more of a right to it than the remaining US did. After all, Southrons wrote the constitution, funded the War of Indepence, wrote and signed the Declaration of Independence, and all with the help of roughly a handful of Yankees.

Not only were the principles on our side.... well of course they were. Those principles were ours to start with.

There is good news though. Every year the University of North Carolina polls people in the South on their thoughts on secession. Every year it comes in around 15% in favor of leaving. It spiked under Clinton at almost 30%.

It's indeed good news... especially when you consider that the US's War of Independence was fought with the approval of less than 25% of the population.

Sunday, May 08, 2005

I Don't FlyI don't fly because just walking into an airport gives me the creeps. That syrupy sweet female voice on the over-head talking about FAA regulations is something far more Orwellian than Orwell ever drempt up.

I swear when they line us all up for the death walk, it will be to the sounds of a sultry 23-year-old vixen.

No where will you be treated so much like a criminal than at an airport. In fact, criminals are treated in many cases with a great deal more respect.

Did you know that lighters, and strike-anywhere matches are now forbidden in carry-ons? Lighters cannot even be packed in your checked luggage. Butane ya know... Dangerous stuff!

Toe-nail clippers! Don't you dare let us catch you with toe-nail clippers! Those things are deadly.

I refuse to subject myself to this sort of stupidity.

When I drive... I leave when I want. I take what I want. I go the route I want. I stop when I want... and it's cheaper! In June we'll be travelling from Morgantown,WV to San Antonio, Tejas. Never once did we consider flying.

I can't understand how someone can continue to fly under these circumstances. I mean... where's your line? If they bent you all over a table in the back and had a 200 pound Mammasan work you over with a strap-on before you were allowed to board... would you still fly then? Something tells me there would be letters of outrage... and horror stories of the mammasan who refuse to lube it...but that's about it.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

The First Saturday in MayI see this goin' one of a few ways...

1) Bellamy Road Wins. He is just that much better than everyone else, and leads gate to wire. It's possible. Not only that... it's possible that the horse has plenty of meaness to go along with those speed numbers as well. He may not mind at all running from behind. Just cause he ain't done it, it don't mean he cain't.

2) Bellamy Road doesn't win. At least one multiple horse owner will sacrifice a colt on a suicide attack on him. Once he's out... then the real race starts.

I can see Bellamy Road doin' it... but I just don't think it's gonna happen. If it does, he'll probably be our first legitimate threat to win the Triple Crown since Charasmatic. He's not my bet though.

Nope.. at 5-2 he's just not a good bet. No Thanks.

Nate's Pick: Sun King.

Nate's Tri-fecta: Sun King, Afleet Alex, Bandini

DrWho's Pick: High Limit.

High Limit? Hey... I laughed when she picked Charasmatic. I don't laugh anymore.

Jeb's Pick: Afleet Alex

Eli's Pick: Bellamy Road.

Eli says... He's just that damned good.

Well.. it's that time boys n' girls. Who's your pick?

*** UPDATE ***

Giacomo! What a race! What a frickin' horse! Holy Cow! This is gonna sound like BS, but y'all can ask my wife, before the race when they showed Giac a couple times I kept sayin' how much I loved that horse. He's gorgeous.

Anyway... that's why its be the Greatest Two-Minutes in Sports, and its also why they make so much Whiskey in Kentucky!

BooksYou're stuck inside Fahrenheit 451. Which book do you want to be?A little secret here... I hate Bradbury. But... if this really is just a poorly worded way of asking: what fictional universe would you most like to inhabit? The answer is indeed simple; Forgotten Realms.

*** UPDATE ***Its occured to me that this question is actually asking, if you were in 451, what one book would you memorize? None. No way I'd be spending time trying to save books by memorization. I'd be spending my time loading ammo, and killing firemen. Violence is the answer.

Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? No. You freak.

The last book you bought is? War Songs and Poems of the Southern Confederacy by An Ex-Confederate

What are you currently reading? Recently finished The Ballad of the Whiskey Robber. Non-fiction. Very good... sort of a Truth-is-stranger-than-fiction deal.

Five books you would take to a desert island: Watership Down by Richard Adams, My bound copy of the complete, and increasingly inaccurately named Hitchhiker's Trilogy, The Sound and The Fury by William Faulkner, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenence by Robert Pirsig, and of course... The Bible.

Friday, May 06, 2005

ATFFirst of all... I should point that it's been a long day... and I just don't know how much I've got in me. A cigar and a sip of 1792 just might end my night completely. Before I take the dive though... I figured I should at least drop in and give y'all a shout.

Coffee seems to be the topic of the day. JAC is awefull stoked about his new Bunn... I use a regular ol' coffee maker myself... though if I had my druthers it would be a perculater. I know I know... Bunn's quicker... Whatever... good stuff usually takes longer. I can wait.

I prefer German Black Bean coffee. I know... you've never had it.. or heard of it... and if you have... you think it's nasty. Oh well. I like it. Piss off. I like my coffee like I like my chicks. Smooth, Tan, and sweet. Blonde is the best.

Plain ol' non-dairy creamer for me thanks... I know it's flammable. That's why I like it. I tried that Coffeemate stuff, but I could never get it to lite.

Everyone I know either makes coffee to strong or to weak. My uncles all make it so strong its damned near thick as mud... and if you make the mistake of lettin' JAC near a coffee maker you'll end up with slightly tinted water.

Coffee's like milk. You ain't supposed to be able to see through it.

Anyway...

It's 1792 and a cigar tonight... I'm undecided on the make... maybe Macanudo? And as for guns... I'll just go ahead and spill the beans on JAC... He ordered a new 1911. It was 'posed to be in today, but he got the shaft.

Anyone think you can guess the make? I'll be shocked as hell if ya do.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

The Great Emancipator"I will say, then, that I am not, nor ever have been, in favor of bringing about in anyway, the social and political equality of the white and black races - that I am not, nor ever have been, in favor of making voters or jurors of negroes, nor of qualifying them to hold office, nor to intermarry with white people; and I will say in addition to this that there is a physical difference between the white and black races... I, as much as any other man, am in favor of having the superior position assigned to the white race."

- Abraham Lincoln, Peoria, Illinios, 1858.

Now there's a quote from the Lincoln-Douglas Debates you just never hear.

Its interesting that Lincoln apologists will claim that Lincoln's views on race changed over his life. Even more interesting is it, when you listen to the same people totally disregard a man, because he might have said, "nigger" when he was 16. "Those people don't change" they'll tell ya. Until you bring up Lincoln.

At first they'll just flattly deny he said it. They'll accuse you of quoting poor sources... anything they can to ignore the truth. If you ever get them to face reality... then they just say something like, "He was a shrewed politician, and he knew what he had to say at the time."

Sound familiar?

Lincoln's views on race did change after 1858 though. He grew to hate blacks even more. Cow Island was his idea of an experiment. They were trying to figure out what to do with the black folks once the war was over... cause you know... you just can't have 'em runnin' around loose! So they rounded up a few hundred and shipped them off to this little Island, to see how "relocation" might work. All of the black folks died. Mostly because they sent them to an island with barely enough supplies to last a couple weeks.

Skeptical about the relocation plans? You do know that there is a country in africa that was formed by former slaves right? That even adopted our Constitution word-for-word?

Ahh... but the big story is what didn't happen... what John Wilkes Booth could well have prevented from happening. See... a good buddy of Lincoln's was a fella named Ben Butler. Those who had less civil experiences with him refered to him as "The Butcher". Lincoln liked ol' Ben so much he made him governor of Louisianna after the war.

Not being satisfied with throwing innocent Southrons in jail, or executing them for his amuzment, he set about dealing with Lincoln's problem... you know... what to do with all them black folks.

At the time... they were about to start workin' on a little project down in panama... and wouldn't it be nice to create a little "guest worker" program to help that along?

The plans were on Lincoln's desk when he was shot. The only thing that prevented the creation of that "guest worker" program which would've inevitably lead to the deaths of thousands (yellow fever anyone?) was a John Wilkes Boothe.

It's quite possible that the man who killed Lincoln, saved the American Black Race. Now how's that for irony?

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Jeb's a Rock StarI've said before that Jeb has made everything easy on us. At 3 weeks old he was sleepin' 7 through the night. As an infant he was just as happy in a swing or a bouncy chair as he was in your arms. He was never really sick, and even when he was it was never more than a rough night or two. When it came time to try to ween him... well... no... actually... He just up and weened himself. There was no weening on our part. He just stop suckling. DrWho would try, and he'd just look up at her and smile real big... like... "you silly mommy. I'm to big for that."

Nap time... Bed time... never a big deal. There is no big routine or drama. He just says his prayers, lays down and puts himself to sleep. Travel? He doesn't mind spendin' all day in the car. WV to Tennessee? No problem. Northern WV, to Central TN? No problem.

He's really independent... but he wants you to be interested just the same. He won't let you play for him... and God help you if you attempt to help him accomplish something he's set on doing himself.... but he's still one of the most affectionate... if not the most affectionate kid I've ever been around.

All that said.... Why am I constantly suprised when he makes something easy? We were sorta worryin' about the potty training thing. He's 30 months old after all. But... like everything else... He just up and did it.

Over the course of the last 2-weeks he's pretty much potty trained himself. He saw his Papa go... and he ran over to "go" with him. That was big stuff. And I know you girls are thinkin' that's bizarre... but believe me... this is how little boys work.

That was probably 10 days ago, and I can, off the top of my head, think of 2 accidents he's had since then. Today... I'm in the shower... and I hear a knock at the door. Then in comes Jebidiah. He looks in the shower to see who's in there... Laughs at me... then procedes to us the potty. Then he hands me soap, and my towell and stuff. .. Laughs at me some more... and then goes on about his bidness.

How do you live your life without kids?

And for the record... Eli's takin' up right where Jeb left off. He's also sleepin' through the night. So much for the second one bein' harder. He's ever bit as easy goin' as Jeb was.

It's a tough life kids. I tell ya... now if I could just get you people to raise your daughters worth a damn I would have it made. I swear if one more smart-mouth little girl besmirches Jeb on a play ground, I'm gonna find her daddy and beat him like a rented Buell.

Monday, May 02, 2005

Horse TaleThis horse talk has me rememberin' the last time I mounted up. It's been a while, since DrWho and I have been movin' around so much...

Hell... I guess this goes all the way back to our courtin' days.

We were at her cousin's place, and they had a couple horses... Julie said she wanted to ride a little.. and well... what was I gonna say?

First I should point out that Julie is a more experienced rider than I am... but... I'm the male right? So when we learn that one of us is gonna get a sweet-as-can-be old bay, and the other was gonna deal with a younger gelding, full of piss and vinegar... well... guess which one I volunteered for?

Hey... this was a big horse y'all... I ain't shittin' ya, I was scared. I didn't show it... esspecially not to the horse... but I was.

Anyway... Julie hopped up, and I figured the best thing to do was to make sure this big boy knew I wasn't gonna be his bitch. I jumped right up on him, and made sure everything I did, I did like I meant it.

Bad idea.

I had inadvertantly started a power game with a horse that loved power games.

As soon as I was up, I grabbed the hell out of the reigns... and of course... the out-come was predictable. Mr Horse stood up on his hind-legs to let Mr Man know what was what.

2 words. Code Brown.

Anyway, I ain't no jockey but I ain't no fool neither... When he rared up like that, I jerk the hell out the reigns... so hard it turned his head till his nose just about met his shoulder. He came back down then... but then he bailed on me. Full Throttle too. I'm sure Julie was somewhere snickerin'.

I just held on, and kept his head turned until he gave up and decided to be friends... then I played it cool, and trotted him over next to the fence where Julie and her perfectly well mannered little mare were chillin' out, enjoyin' the show.

We strolled around a while before I decided I better quit while I was ahead.

I really do like to ride... I just wish JAC had a horse my size. Bein' a little fella, he only rides ponies ya see. I swear... if he rides anything over 13-hands... I ain't seen it. Yup... That's no lie... he may like big motorcycles... but he'd saunter around on a shetland if he thought it'd bear the weight.

Maybe someday I'll talk him into buyin' a four-legged tractor... then I'll have somethin' to ride.

Derby Week: The Early Dark HorseIn spite of all the hype, the best horse of the last 20 years or so was not Funny Cide. Nor was it Fugasici Pegasas, Nor was it Smarty Jones.

Looking back as far as 1985... the best of the best has been without question Charasmatic, "The Big Horse". People in Lexington still talk about him. They remember how he towered over his competitors. Charasmatic is what ya get when you put Sea Biscuit's fight in a monster's body.

He was a broken leg short of the triple-crown... and he was winning when it broke.

This wasn't like Smarty or Funny Cide, or the other would-be Triple Crown winners who came up short. They all were beaten. Charasmatic would not be beaten. He'd break his own body before he'd run behind another horse.

Did I mention that back in 1999 my wife called Charasmatic's Derby win? Anybody remember what the odds were for him to win that day? A $19,000.00 horse to win the Derby? I thought that was a hilarious pick... until I saw the horse. More specificly... until he smoked the field.

There is an eerily familiar horse runnin' in the Derby saturday. A horse with a couple bad finishes... 4th at Keeneland for example. Look closely at Sun King though folks. He'll get ya thinkin' of his daddy... The one they called "The Big Horse".

He's got more wins under his belt than his daddy did coming in, and with Zito training him, he's got more hype too. There's plenty of uncertainty though... So don't look for him to be near the top of the betting either.

This sorta has me thinkin' of a disturbing trend in horses these days. They seem to be gettin' smaller and smaller. Least the big money Throughbreds are anyway. Like they're tryin' to make birds out of 'em. I look back at horses like Secretariat, or... bless his name.... Man O' War (and yes, I did take my hat off before I typed that). These weren't little horses. They were monsters.

Sea Biscuit used to be the anomaly. Now Charasmatic is.

It's not good for the horses though. We're seein' more and more stress injuries, and more and more bone problems later in life.