Greetings and Yarr

Published October 14th, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

Greetings and Yarr, Mr. Henderson.

I have realized I have been too confused to see the light and have recently decided to reform from my heathen ways as an atheist. I found light in the holy FSM while making a bowl of lime & shrimp ramen at approximately 1:36 AM. I recalled a thread on a forum speaking of FSM and His Noodly Appendage, and it all seemed to make sense.

I have now become a child of FSM and graciously accept His Noodly Appendage and all His glory into my life. However, I have a few questions I couldn’t find in your marvelous, eye-opening site.
1) Is an eye patch or hat required every day or just every friday? It will be hard to explain to my English teacher why I am wearing a divine head-piece every morning.

2) Are we required to wear such clothing in all posed photography? If so I will need a signed letter from the prophet speaking of His holiness and need of such headgear for my school.

3) Do I have your permission to pass out FSM pendants, rings and brochures around my school to spread the good word? I recently discovered that a fairly accurate model of His Noodlyness can be made out of 22 gauge wire and 4 beads (2 copper, 2 silver), and it gives me something to keep with me whenever I have moments of doubt or weakness.

Excellent message Myranda. I believe that all of those three messages should be followed, if you can. But going against the schooling system may get you expelled. I’m making one of those models right now.

Just make sure you sit in the back of the class so they can’t get you with that whole common sense “blocking people’s view!” crap. And Yarrr! there Angryy! I hate to disagree with you, but shotgun meeting ex-husband does not make a very useful colander. It makes the noodles taste kinda funny.