Sunday, 17 August 2014

5 Battle Strategies for Youth Leaders When It Comes to Fighting Lust By Greg Stier

It's the secret youth leader battle that's not so secret. All of us
know down deep inside that the pot of hormones simmering
underneath can turn into a boil in a micro-second. Given the
right conditions any of us could fall, not just into lust, but into
moral sin with someone we are ministering with or to in our
youth groups.

Yes, even you and, yes, even me.

And please don't tell me you don't ever struggle with lust. As I've
Tweeted before, any guy who says he never struggles with lust is
either a liar or a eunuch.

From the beginning of time men have struggled with lust. Parts of Genesis sound like the plot of a cheap romance novel filled with lusting hearts, leering eyes and groping hands.

We know the "man after God's own heart", King David himself,
struggled with lust. He ended up committing adultery with
Bathsheba because he saw her bathing and allowed his lust to
control his actions afterward. Eventually he even murdered her
husband to cover up his crime.

Even the great Apostle Paul struggled with lust from time to
time. He admitted as much in 2 Corinthians 11:29, "Who is
weak, and I do not feel weak? Who is led into sin, and I do not
inwardly burn?"

If two of the key characters in the Old Testament and New
Testament could burn with with lust then so could you and I.
"Not me!" is the war cry of the future fallen.

Why? Because as soon as you trust in your ability to overcome
lust you are already starting to give into it's alluring power. As
Colossians 2:20-23 reminds us, "Since you died with Christ to
the elemental spiritual forces of this world, why, as though you
still belonged to the world, do you submit to its rules: 'Do not
handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!'? These rules, which have to
do with things that are all destined to perish with use, are based
on merely human commands and teachings. Such regulations
indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed
worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the
body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.

Rules are not enough. Because rules are not strong enough to
overcome fully charged hormones! So how do you fight lust
effectively? Here are five battle strategies to help you fight and
win against this relentless temptation.

1. Learn to walk by the Spirit.

I love the simplicity of Galatians 5:16, "So I say, walk by the
Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh." You can't
walk by the Spirit and fulfill the desires of the flesh at the same
time. So we need to remember to walk by the Spirit. The word
picture of walking by the 3rd Person of the Trinity triggers the
mental picture of going throughout your day step-by-step and
hand-in-hand with the Holy Spirit. We are in close communion
with him while in traffic, while with our families, while
ministering to our students and while we are alone.
When we are controlled by the indwelling Holy Spirit then we
can't be controlled by the flesh. Each morning when we get up,
several times throughout the day and when we lay our heads on
our pillows at night, let us consciously hand the reigns of our
lives to the Holy Spirit. Let's learn to walk step-by-step in the
power of the Spirit.

2. Don't take that second look.

My old pastor used to say, "You can't stop a bird from flying
over your head but you can stop it from making a nest in your
hair." In the same way sometimes you can't avoid seeing a
scantily clad girl while driving down the street but you can stop
leering at her. The first look is unavoidable. The second look
(and lustful thoughts that follow) is what will get you in trouble.

3. Get a red phone.

In the 1960′s Batman show whenever Commissioner Gordon had
a crime problem he used a red phone to call Batman. This
special phone was reserved for emergencies and was to be used
between the commissioner and Dark Knight alone. In the same
way, anytime we have a lust problem we need to have a shortlist
of male friends we know and trust whom we can call and confess to. In James 5:16 we are reminded, "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed." This doesn't mean that we confess every sin to
everyone. But it does mean that there is, at the very minimum, a
circle of trusted Christian friends who have our back and have
our number when it comes to lust.
These friends should have your number and you should have
theirs. You can call them anytime and you can call them
anytime. No question should be off limits when it comes to how
you are doing (and how they are doing for that matter) when it
comes to lust. I have three guys on my list who have permission
to call me anytime with any question and I have pledged to them
to be gut level honest with them.
By the way we are going to be unpacking this much more during
our upcoming Built for Boldness youth leader trainings held in 13 cities across the nation this Fall. We will be talking about
building a BOLD vision and preparing to accomplish it by making sure you are prepared and purified internally on every level. To sign up for this free training event (lunch included) click here . I can't wait to see you there!

4. Set boundaries but don't trust in them.

I'll never forget when I was a young pastor at a church in Denver.
Somebody paid for me to go to a small pastor's conference in
Colorado Springs. Little did I know that God would use this
conference, and the man speaking at it, to impact my life in a big
way.
The speaker was an expert at counseling struggling pastors. He
had shepherded hundreds of spiritual shepherds from all across
America, many of whom had fallen into sexual immorality of
some sort or another. He was at this conference to help pastors
fight against the insidious enemy called "lust" and to perserve
the integrity of their lives and the pulpits they preach from on a
weekly basis.
After he was introduced he took the podium and asked the
question, "How many of you pastors have some sort of
boundaries when it comes to counseling members of the
opposite sex? For instance, you won't counsel a woman alone or
with the door of your office shut or something like that?"
I looked around the auditorium of two hundred or so pastors to
see two hundred or so hands raised. Mine was raised too. I had
always taken measures as a young, married pastor to make sure
I was never in a situation where temptation could overtake me or that, well, just plain looked bad. And I was in good company. The men of God who surrounded me were just as concerned with their own personal piety and purity as I was.
That's why I was shocked and rocked to hear the speaker say,
"I've counseled hundreds of pastors all across America who
have fallen into sexual sin and every single one of them had
safeguards and boundaries in place." It felt like the speaker had
taken a stun gun and shot us all square in the chest. Even the
crickets were convicted and quiet.
He continued, "Here's the problem gentlemen, you can have all
the safeguards you want. You can choose not to counsel a
woman alone and refuse to be in a car by yourself with a member of the opposite sex. But LUST WILL PICK A LOCK. Lust will find a way to work around the safeguard and feed its ravenous hunger for satisfaction." He continued, "The only real safeguard is a strong relationship with Jesus Christ and a strong
relationship with your wife. Everything else is just window
dressing."
Set boundaries but don't put your faith in them.

5. Go to your church leaders if you need to.

Maybe you are reading this and your lust has spiraled out of
control. You've used your red phone and it's still not working.
Maybe you have a secret addiction to porn or you are in a
relationship that has begun to teeter toward the inappropriate (or has even crossed the line)…go to your church leadership
immediately and confess it.
Hopefully they are the type of church leadership that will restore
you. Once again, James 5 gives us instructions on this process,
"Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the
church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick
person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven."
Personally, I believe that the sickness mentioned here applies
just as much to spiritual sickness (like a porn addiction) as a
physical sickness. Church leaders are to anoint you with oil (as
a symbol of the Holy Spirit) and pray for you to get healed. This
type of prayer comes with a promise, "And the prayer offered in
faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up.
If they have sinned, they will be forgiven."
Going to your church leadership is a huge and sobering step
because, quite honestly, it could get you fired. But this final, bold
step of courage could also get also get you healed and whole.
Let's all pray for each other as we engage our common nemesis
called lust, depending on the Holy Spirit for ultimate victory and
each other for comaraderie and courage. When we struggle let's
confess it. If we fail let's forsake it. And, together, we will make
it across the finish line walking by the Spirit who is ready to
support us the entire way.
Fighting to win.