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What would you tell yourself?

If you could go back in time and face yourself as a 10 year old child, what would you say to that child?

The first thing I would do is hug that child and tell him that every thing's going to be alright. That he's not alone and doesn't need to be afraid anymore. I'd tell him to follow his dreams and believe in himself.

Re: What would you tell yourself?

*slap* lose weight the wight.. play some sports, get a hair cut... get nicer clothes, stop being a little bitch and go make friends... draw more.. you get better everytime you do... go take a shower.. I know your afraid of water but smelling nice is more important... one last thing..... even though your smart enough to pass a class without trying doesn't mean you shouldn't put the slightest extra effort in... go to class get an A...

Re: What would you tell yourself?

Originally Posted by puka-pride

*slap* lose weight the wight.. play some sports, get a hair cut... get nicer clothes, stop being a little bitch and go make friends... draw more.. you get better everytime you do... go take a shower.. I know your afraid of water but smelling nice is more important... one last thing..... even though your smart enough to pass a class without trying doesn't mean you shouldn't put the slightest extra effort in... go to class get an A...

Re: What would you tell yourself?

"Lose the family."

Or at least, "Deal with the family on your terms."

"Be proud of what you are."

The world never changes if you're forever "minding my own business".The mindset that no one knows you're gay because you haven't told them,
is like the dog that thinks you don't see him stealing the steak because he avoids your glance. Staying in the closet is like continuing to sit in the back of the bus. It's accepting that it's wrong to be who you are.

Re: What would you tell yourself?

Originally Posted by eddielee

If you could go back in time and face yourself as a 10 year old child, what would you say to that child?

The first thing I would do is hug that child and tell him that every thing's going to be alright. That he's not alone and doesn't need to be afraid anymore. I'd tell him to follow his dreams and believe in himself.

I would tell him, that no matter how bad things seems that to be or become, you're going to do some truly amazing things with your life.

You're going to find strength in places that you never knew existed.

You're going to know love and friendship in ways that you never thought possible, and through it all you're going to be alright.

Never regret anything, because in that moment it's exactly what you wanted.

Re: What would you tell yourself?

Forget about trying to convince yourself you're normal and just like everyone else. You're not.

And ... that's A Good Thing!

Yeah, it hurts that you don't fit in, and that the big kids make fun of you and tease you. Of course it does. But: You don't need their approval. You're meant to do something special in this life that only you can do, and nobody else can.

Then I'd give him a big one of these:

dammit, my eyes are tearing up. Must be these stupid onions I'm slicing.

Re: What would you tell yourself?

i don't really think i'd tell myself anything. first of all, it would probably mess up the future too much and i like the present the way it is. Secondly, i LOVE the way i turned out, so i wouldn't want those experiences that formed me to change in any way.

If anything, i'd probably say: "puberty sucks. so do braces. You'll get over it and be extremely cute still for the most part through all of it."

Re: What would you tell yourself?

The things I would want to tell to my 10-year-old self would take hours. But the gist of it would be that everything would get better. And that I should listen to my feelings instead of putting them away and fighting them.

."We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." (Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere's Fan)

Re: What would you tell yourself?

This is part of an exercise used a lot by those of us who facilitated group workshops during the 80s and the worst of AIDS.

It seemed especially useful to adult gay men because one thing we seem to have in common is having felt, around the age of 10, very isolated and anxious about our futures. The idea behind it is that our adult self, having survived from there to here, would have a unique ability to speak to the specific concerns of our 10 year old self. What was amazing about the process was how much of our 10 year old self's concerns still created anxiety for us as adults, which we couldn't identify, and that was calmed simply by bringing them forward and addressing them.

For me, going through it the first time in being trained by GMHC to volunteer was cathartic. It took place in a large room in NYC with maybe 50 other gay men, all seated cross-legged in a huge circle holding hands, eyes closed. By the time the exercise got to us approaching our 10 year old self, placing a hand on his shoulder, I was totally drawn in. The hurt and the fear still living inside me from back then was a big shock -- seeing it, letting it out, addressing it myself was monumentally liberating. Being told by our facilitator, "You may help your buddy next to you if you want," the man to my left and the man to my right let go of the men to their other sides and we three held one another while sobs washed through us. It was, in a way, a ridiculous moment, these grown men sobbing over the release of hurt and fear from so long ago; and it changed my life. It actually changed my life. What happened, what I felt at 10 years old didn't change; it never will because it's done and will always remain as it was. But the 10 year old boy who lives inside me today is not hurt and is not afraid because he knows it's going to turn out okay.

I remember that afternoon, what I imagined in that exercise more than 20 years ago, like it was last week.

I walked up behind my 10 year old self, put a hand on his shoulder and said, "Hi, buddy. You're safe with me." He didn't know who I was. "I'm you, all grown up. I'm strong and I'm loved and I'm having a good time." Beneath my hand I felt him tremble, too stoic to cry but too hurt not to. I stepped closer and put my arm around his shoulder. "You're safe with me and I won't abandon you." That's what 10 year old me needed to know.

Re: What would you tell yourself?

I would tell him not to believe a lot of what he sees and hears because most people lie through their teeth at the drop of a hat. I'd also tell him not to rely on first impressions because most people are quite adept at putting on airs and trying to make themselves look like something they are not, never were, and never will be. I'd also tell him that in most cases, what he thinks will happen is usually not what ends up happening. I'd tell him at all times he should hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst. Then I'd finish up by telling him that overall, what is meant to be will be, what is not meant to be, will not. There's little use in crying over the things that didn't happen because most things happed for a good reason. It just may take a long time to figure out what that reason was.

Re: What would you tell yourself?

I'd tell him to be nice to everyone like he knows he should be and that being different is never a bad thing if it's what you are. I woudl then tell hm that things will be okay no matter how awfult hey may be and that your best friend will stick next to you. Don't be afraid of your parents, be yourself around them and be honest with them, and always have the conviction to work hard and do what's right. Do things that may scare you, like a sports, and stick to your guns.

Re: What would you tell yourself?

let's see.....go back and visit my past self.....It would be 1985 and I'm 10 years old. hmmmmm, ah yes. I would tell myself the following......

1. Toronto Blue Jays finally win the world series...but it's not until 1992, oh they repeat in 1993. after that....stop watching them cause it's all down hill from there!
2. Stop watching Toronto Maple leafs....they never go anywhere.
3. Call Vegas. Place a huge bet on the fall of the berlin wall and communism as a whole and say it's going to happen at 10.30 pm, November 9, 1989.
4. start investing everything you have in oil.....NOW!!
5. This thing called the internet. It's not a fad. I got one word for you. YAHOO invest, invest and oh yeah INVEST!
6. if you have money left invest in a little news company called CNN.
7. Don't even think about playing a card game called Magic The Gathering.....trust me.
8. When you meet your a guy named Jeremy in Grade 9. Walk away. Don't get involved and if you only remember one piece of advice...don't go to college with him. It will only lead to heartbreak....trust me...you'll understand later in life.

then I'd step back into my tardis and see if there's some Daleks or Cybermen that need a good ass kicking!

Re: What would you tell yourself?

Hmmmm... I'm trying to think what I could say to the ten-year-old-me that the ten-year-old-me would listen to. I was a bit obstinate in those days (but I'm all better now, of course...) so wouldn't be likely to listen. But assuming I could do this, and that ten-year-old-me would believe me, I think it would go something like this:

Your mother is a crazy bitch, and she will always be a crazy bitch; it has nothing to do with you, it's not your fault, and she's loving you the best her crazy-bitch heart will let her.

Talk to your Grandfather more often...ask him about his past... he's a really neat guy with some stories to tell about working in movies, dealing with racism, and travelling across the South with his father, but you'll have to prompt him.

I know it's really really boring, but do your homework. Those bad grades really are going to come back to haunt you. And you want to be a novelist when you grow up, so stop wasting time dreaming about being anything else.

Similarly, try harder in gym. Tell Mom you need more meat and green veggies so you can be more manly (she'll totally fall for that), drink a lot more water, and exercising will become easier.

You're an extremely pretty little boy, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Nevertheless, stop trying to part your hair in the middle, and insist on clothes that fit.

Buy Microsoft and Disney stock the first chance you get.

And then, in one of those weird Quantum Leap flashouts, I'll return to a present entirely unlike the one I left behind. The question will remain whether or not the present will be better or worse or just different. It would be neat to see what changes happened.

Re: What would you tell yourself?

Originally Posted by Robert~Marlénč

And then, in one of those weird Quantum Leap flashouts, I'll return to a present entirely unlike the one I left behind. The question will remain whether or not the present will be better or worse or just different. It would be neat to see what changes happened.

Mom would've given your 10-year-old self a nice piece of beef... made from mad cow. And you'd actually die of it. Now wouldn't that be a complete bitch?

."We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." (Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere's Fan)