The only sense that is common in the long run, is the sense of change-and we all instinctively avoid it.E. B. White (1899 - 1985)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A married couple is sleeping when the phone rings at 3 a.m. The wife picks up the phone and, after a few seconds, replies,"How am I supposed to know? We're 200 miles inland!"and hangs up. Her husband rolls over and asks,"Sweetheart, who was that?" "I don't know,some idiot woman asking if the coast is clear."~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a guy walking down the street in San Fransisco, and he tripped over an old looking oil lamp. He picked it up and hid it under his jacket, because he thought it was priceless. While he was running to the antique shop to cash this puppy in, it rubbed against his shirt. *POOF* A genie popped out of his pocket!!! The very angry looking Genie said, ''Alright, I have had enough with this three wish stuff, and 'cuz you stole me away from my HBO Special, I will only give you one wish!'' The surprised man said, ''OK, I want to live in Hawaii in a huge condo on the beach with three million dollars in the master bedroom, but I am afraid of boats and planes so I want you to build a bridge from here to Hawaii.'' The genie replied with a smirk, ''Are you crazy? Do you know how long that will take, with the pillars going down to the bottom of the ocean, all the cement it would take for the highway? No I'm sorry, it just can't happen.'' The man said, ''Fine then, I want to understand women.'' The genie says, '' I'll give you two lanes, not four.''~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The World's Shortest Books --------------------------

- "My Plan To Find The Real Killers" by O.J. Simpson - The Difference between Reality and Dilbert - Human Rights Advances in China - "Things I Wouldn't Do for Money" by Dennis Rodman - Al Gore: The Wild Years - Amelia Earhart's Guide to the Pacific Ocean - America's Most Popular Lawyers - Career Opportunities for Liberal Arts Majors - Detroit - A Travel Guide - Different Ways to Spell "Bob" - Dr. Kevorkian's Collection of Motivational Speeches - Easy UNIX - Ethiopian Tips on World Dominance - Everything Men Know About Women - Everything Women Know About Men - French Hospitality - "The Book of Virtues" by Bill Clinton - George Foreman's Big Book of Baby Names - "How to Sustain a Musical Career" by Art Garfunkel - Mike Tyson's Guide to Dating Etiquette - "One Hundred and One Spotted Owl Recipes" by the EPA - Staple Your Way to Success The Amish Phone Directory - The Engineer's Guide to Fashion ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Martha Stewart Vs. Real Women:

MARTHA STEWART

If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up.

REAL WOMEN

If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too [blip] bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes." -----------------------------------------------------------------

MARTHA STEWART Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. REAL WOMEN Take a lime, mix it with tequila, etc., chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares? -----------------------------------------------------------------

MARTHA STEWART Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

REAL WOMEN Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway. -----------------------------------------------------------------

MARTHA STEWART To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes. REAL WOMEN Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year. -----------------------------------------------------------------

MARTHA STEWART When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake. REAL WOMEN Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you. -----------------------------------------------------------------

MARTHA STEWART Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish. REAL WOMEN The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I just don't do it. -----------------------------------------------------------------

MARTHA STEWART If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy. REAL WOMEN Go ask the very cute neighbor to do it. -----------------------------------------------------------------

And finally the most important tip - MARTHA STEWART Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces. REAL WOMEN Leftover wine?? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie.

I'm past my bed time, all the way to dead time.

Should of been down over an hour ago, but got interested in some new tv show.

62 years and still a kid, not the dumbest thing I ever did.

I bid you all a super day, now I've got to go and hit the hay.

Hey hey...

joe

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There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

Good morning everyone. Midge Cailyn, to your hubby. I would be more than happy to send our summer to all in need of one. The temps are in the mid 90's with a triple digit heat index. It's even to hot to get in the pool, water in the 90's. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Hump day. Danish, BB Pancakes, and Birthday Cupcakes in the NC.

We had a super day and a romantic evening and now it's back to normal...

Happy Birrthday Midgie

and happy Birthday to Cyilyn's hubby

Ana: so glad the truck is living another 10 years... or so.

Karen: so sorry they let you down. Let's hope for another time. Hugs.

Today I have to pre-cook for Mum again. Tomorrow is Mum's washing day, so Evelyne is going there again to get the machines running. I'am invited to lunch though after washing a few loads.... Tomorrow evening I will go to an artist friends studio (a wood turner). He has a few tree trunks in the parking lot of his studio and I try to put different slabs of clay on the trunk and let it dry and look whether this will give me a nice platter with the bark impressed on the inner side... Keep your fingers crossed please that the slab won't break while drying. But only tomorrow evening, mind! That would be tomorrow lunch time for you. Andthankyouverymuch

I wish all of you a nice and wonderful day. Not too hot, not too cool. Sunny and full of love!

Evelyne

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"You ask me what life is. That's like asking me what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot" (A. Chekhov)

It's day 3 of 4 for me and these last two are 1:00 to 10:00 work days.

I will wait until about 2:00 today to go in though probably. Yesterday I was over because of an "urgent" meeting.

I was seriously hoping for some rain yesterday or today, but it did not happen, after the weatherman gave us "great chances". Looking at the radar or "radar" spelled backwards, it doesn't appear that we will get any today.

I hope everyone has a super day.

Midgie to you again.

joe

_________________________
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

Stayed in all morning waiting for a parcel which didn't arrive! Actually should have been here yesterday...will give it another day before I contact suppliers. Overcast here today but nice and cool! Off out tomorrow with my sister and Diana, we'll do lunch and have a wee shopping spree afterwards!

Have a great day guys!

Mary

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"It's not what you have in your lifebut who you have in your life that counts."

Another strange day in the neighborhood. The puppy which was running around in my driveway and camping out in the back lot near the fence, and then running helter skelter to the neighbor's front porch, finally ended up at the roofer's house (2 doors down). They have a number of dogs, but it's not theirs. So after I chatted with the wife, the dog was just curled up at the front door of the son's little studio apartment. Poor thing won't come close to anyone. I'm hoping they gave it food and water (I did earlier and it ate a meat patty and drank some water). No sign of him yet today. Hopefully someone who lost it will have picked it up or put up a sign. Walking the neighborhood on the morning walk to see if a sign is up and tell them where I saw it last. Can't catch the little guy. Looks healthy and has a collar (no tags) so he belongs to someone, somewhere.

AND the empty house of the old guy in the nursing home had activity today. A guy in a truck with a non-professional orange reflective vest was taking pictures of every window and door, and the porches and the eaves, and the fence and trees and grounds, etc. Spent a long time and took a lot of pics and wrote things on a clipboard. Not sure who he is, no logo on truck or vest. Might be an appraiser (but don't they have to go INSIDE?). Could be one of those 'we fix it at our expense and split the sales price with you' guys. Not sure. But it's definitely something to do with rehab or buying. Will probably see something more later.

It's been another full-bore day. But, son is working open-to-close and the boys just left and I'm sitting with my smoothy, my water, and my watermelon listening to Bones and keeping Keoki as calm as I can as we are having a stormy day! My goal for the rest of the day is to scan through my pile of unread newspapers and move as little as possible.

Mary, sounds like a lovely day. I hope that package gets there soon. I always laugh cos the delivery folks here put the package nearish to the door, sometimes they knock, and then they run. Without the dogs I'd never know there was anything there.

Darlene, happy skooshing!

Venus, have fun.

Sorta, enjoy your walk.

Nan, how's life?

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"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." -Roger Caras

Cailyn to your hubby I have six visitors,hubbys 2 sons and 4 friends from Switzerland All 25 to 28 years old and all boys Tomorrow we have a barbecue party for the two boys as it is their birthday with 20 people... I hope I will survive Gail almost every afternoon we go to the beach.

Edited by Haroula (08/14/1303:48 PM)

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I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Afternoon and a good one for all I hope.More temps in the 90's but have been doing water aerobics which helps cool one down; it's closed at 5 for all swimmers but those in the aerobics class. We work out(?) for half an hour then free swim till 6. I know the pool here isn't all that big and is very old but certainly serves it's purpose in hot weather. It will be closing next week for the winter. Off to spray for bugses and etc since I've been getting spider bites during the nite and boy can they itch and burn and turn really red.

_________________________
Reading is to the mind, what exercise is to the body - Joseph Addison

Good afternoon boomies! In the corner all day except for a run at the river with the dogs which was appreciated by me as much as them. Merlin is smelling good today even when he got wet which surprised me.

I hope you all are enjoying the day. It's still cool here and very unsummerlike if that's a word. Please send heat, this is depressing me.

GOOD news! Walked over the the roofer's house 2 doors down to see if the doggie was still there or was really back home somewhere. Met roofer who said sure, doggie here and the son (whose doorstep it was lying on when I left) is adopting it. Roofer said the dog was around 'several' days over there and was following his truck to work, etc.

So they say it's a girl, probably 6 years old (I thought it was a puppy) and seems in good health. We all now think someone dumped the poor thing there seeing he had dogs. Puppy probably hung around looking for the owner's car to come back and get him. Poor thing.

Son is washing him now, got him some special food, will love him. Dog, who wouldn't come near me, ran right up to the son! AND his girlfriend. Wow. Guess she picked them. AND the big guard dog they have for the roofer's supply yard in back, was out in the driveway and little doggie ran up to him. Got woofed at but not attacked AND the big dog rolled a ball towards the little one and she ran and picked it up immediately. So cute!

I'm feeling happy that the dog has a home and will be cared for. I worried all night. No posters up anywhere in the neighborhood for a lost dog. Would have been by now I'm sure. I'll keep looking but this is probably a dump. Hate people who do that!