Wednesday, 23 July 2014

You Spin My Head Right Round Right Round

Wow life with a teenager is quite the ride isn't it. Thanks for the heads up people.

It's like they turn 13 and BAM overnight they morph into a walking talking beaker of hormones.

When I think back to the terrible twos and how I hard I thought that was at the time, I'm all "man are you kidding Sonia - walk. in. the. park."

OK not quite, I may be underestimating just how hard that age period was because you know time heals and all, but I can't help but laugh because now as a newbie mum of a teenager - those two year old meltdowns just seem so tame and easy. Kind of like a gentle stretch before a state of origin grudge match.

I mean the tantrums are still there, only they tend to be more flouncy and dramatic and it's harder to pretend that the sulking teen tailing behind you doesn't actually belong to you when they are calling out "MUM, MUMMMMMM, SONIIIIAAAA STACKHOUSE WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME MUMMMMM????

The explosion of emotions is what gets me the most. In a five minute span you go from being best buds to not speaking and then all of a sudden your sweet affectionate child is back asking you to tuck him in.

One minute I am soooo in love with him and the next ... well the next I still very much love him but boarding school sure sounds tempting.

I'm NOT exaggerating. Here's some of the head spinning verbalisation that comes out of a certain teens mouth;

"That's not fair, so ripped off, I'm not allowed to do anything! You're the best mum in the whole world.

I'm only 13! Just let me do it myself! I need help! Will you stop treating me like a child!

You're so strict! Stop saying when I was your age! I want to spend more time with you!

I want more independence! I'm old enough to do it on my own! Can you come and watch me? Can you pick me up from school?

I love you! Leave me alone! I just need some space! Can you tuck me in? Can I lie with you for a while?

I'm tired! I can't sleep! Why do you wake me so early!

I'm starving! Can I eat this? I'm not eating that! There's never any food in this house!

You're so cool! You're sooooo embarrassing! You just don't understand! Can I please have $20 bucks?"

No wonder my head feels like a has gone a round or 10 as a flipping tennis ball.

And then there are all the words and lingo that is so darn hard to keep up with. I try to keep up and I have even resorted to Googling that stuff that when he is in bed at night just so I can understand what the hell he is saying and carry on a half decent conversation with him and his mates.

However, when I try to casually use those words in the car on the way to footy, they all look at me like I have two heads and he sinks to the floor in a mortified heap.