Tag Archives: change

As I reach into my savings account and pull out this months bills to be paid out on month 5 of my unemployment I think to myself “hmm I didn’t really plan to still be HERE right now.” But I am. And somehow I’m ok with it. At least I was before I let the world seep in and make me question my motivator.

Does fear or faith motivate you?

As a human most likely your answer is probably both, even if it’s just faith in yourself or someone else or a process.

If you are faith based, then ideally faith weighs in more, but let’s be honest we still allow fear to run things a lot, and probably don’t necessarily think that is a bad thing anyway because after-all at least “fight or flight” mode allows you “get the job done”, right?! Well true, maybe. But I feel like the goal shouldn’t just be just to get it done and move forward. Life is more than a series of check-marks to cross off for most of us.

For those new to my blog, I left my occupation, one of flexibility and a good solid salary because I felt there was something more that I was meant for and that occupation wasn’t my purpose in life and I wanted to take time to allow for a breather for God to redirect my path and allow me to steer down the path of His choice and I felt the only way for me to allow myself to “be still and listen” was to take myself out of my comfort zone and into a place of rest and discomfort in unemployment so that I had the time and openness to allow for redirection and purpose.

All that said and done, I sit here months later as onlookers probably see my continued unemployment as complacency or undirectedness (which I kind of is– by choice) or more commonly that I’m being unrealistic in what I am waiting for and had a great job I should have never left especially when still not being clear about what I want to or should do going forward.

Have you ever been in this place in life with a situation? You made a solid decision and believed in it wholeheartedly but then as time went on and your timing didn’t match Gods timing and everyone was buzzing in your ear causing confusion, you start to second guess what God originally told you or if you even heard him clearly at all.

So here I am. Questioning my decision to have made this leap of faith.

Still unemployed. Still undirected and unclear. Still no clear view of what direction God had in mind for me.

Plenty of job options but mostly just getting back into what I left. Everyone around telling me just to go back to what I know, go back to sales, take that job that’s just ok–but not what I expected–just because it’s “better than nothing.” To essentially stop waiting for the perfect job; that shiny present of a well paying job that fulfills me and glorifies The Lord while I’m doing it.

And frankly, at this point everyone is starting to sound like they are right.

But then I have to go back to why I started.

I started out of faith.

Faith that I was discontent in my occupation for a reason.

Faith that God had something different for me.

Faith that He would use me.

Faith that He would provide.

And faith in His timing.

And now I am not thinking or acting in faith but out of fear.

Fear that my discontentment was normal, and just something people live with.

Fear that God maybe wouldn’t use me in the way I imagined. (which lets be honest is a very real and ok thing)

Fear that maybe He didn’t have something different for me.

Fear that He wouldn’t provide.

And fear that His timing wouldn’t match up to my needs.

Fight or flight. Do I listen to the fear around me and allow it to seep in or do I trust in the character of my God who has proven time and time again that He is faithful and He is good.

It’s those times when we don’t hear or feel God, or His timing or ways don’t match up to our vision, that is when we have to trust what we do know and that is that God is Good and His ways better.

And as always, when fearful or doubtful, go to the source of truth to put those fears to rest. The bible says,

So the bible tells us:

We are chosen and special to God.

God will answer us and show us great things.

Gods plans are to give us hope and a future.

And so I gain my strong footing again, waking up and choosing faith in this journey.

(Stay tuned to next weeks blog for the current update on month 6- last week as God made His big reveal which I can’t wait to share as I’m now playing blog catch up)

How ironic on the day I originally thought to leave my job God showed me His plans . I wanted to quit not because my job sucked but because I had come to the conclusion that it wasn’t “more“.

Huh?! Right. It wasn’t –you know, enough. It didn’t satisfy me. I didn’t want to do it another ten or even 2 years. Sure you say well my job doesn’t satisfy me either —that’s life Jessica. Wrong. That is not the life that the God I put my trust in intends for you or me.

Ephesians 3:20 (NIV) “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us”

I went to a retreat months back sponsored by a dear friend who begged the question “why don’t we have the things we want?” If we (Christians) believe the bible is true and believe what it says about God and His character –then why do we not have the things our heart desires?

We threw around some great and valid answers any Christian has heard in many varied jaded tones of voice….”because it’s not Gods will”, “because God has better plans”, or the skeptical versions of those who have experienced pain and disbelief that sound more like …..” Because God is punishing me”, “because I don’t deserve it” —-the list can go on and on.

Well we came to the conclusion collectively, after much “ahhhh’s” and “ohhhh’s”, that we do not have sometimes because we do not ASK.

I know I just lost a handful of you there who say “I ask God all the time and He just doesn’t answer” —which is another blogpost all together about being able to hear God clearly or at all.

But sticking to today’s point, we do not have many times because we do not ask. Translation : We do not believe. Yes, you believe in God. Yes you believe in Christian beliefs. But you have put God and His power over your life in a “box”. A box that says “I think God is capable of doing this (insert your realistic tangible idea) , so I will ask Him for that”

What’s wrong with that? Well nothing, you can absolutely pray that and receive blessings and have a life of contentment. No doubt. BUT IF YOU WANT A SET APART LIFE….one that is amazing and of your wildest dreams–the kind that most of us regular people look at and say, “yeah I could never have those things, they aren’t in the cards for me” –then you need to change up your prayers a bit.

I’m saying —-if you believe what the bible says—then believe it for your life in its fullest. Don’t dumb down HIS WORD to YOUR REALITY.

Ask God for what his word states, “immeasurably more”

We do have have because we do not ask. We do not ask because we do not accept deep down that God can or would do what we really want in life so we ask a smaller version of of what we truly desire.

Am I right? Does this describe your prayers? Do they sound something like this: God please allow me to have a family. Grant me the ability to pay my bills. Or even less specific ones like : God, please let me have a job I enjoy.God please let me make money.

Start believing what the bible says and take God out of the box of reality you (and I) have put Him in and allow Him to show you how truly powerful He is!

I encourage you to pray strong bold and specific prayers for your life. Ask more of God. He wants it for you, but He needs us to have faith enough to ask and believe He will carry it out.

This blog is the start to “Gods More” that I have been praying for specifically and wholehearted. That said, I will not be quitting my job just because God has given me an answer.

Those familiar with David in the bible will recall that David did not quit tending his sheep (his job) immediately just because god showed him he was going to be a King. 😉

Be blessed friends! Thanks for reading my first blog post. To God be the glory!