Last night I was rocking my son to sleep when he reached out for his Daddy doll that has my husbands picture inside. I brought the doll over to where we were rocking and continued on. My son grabbed his Daddy doll, hugged and kissed it over and over again. Watching this event unfold the tears poured down my cheeks and I started to get angry. Really angry. I thought about how no child should lose their father at such a young age. I thought about how unfair it was we were forced into a life situation that is so very difficult and none of us have chosen. I thought about how unfair it was my son has to kiss and hug a stuffed doll when he should really be kissing and hugging his Father. I thought about how unfair it is that all of my sons friends have their Daddy's but he doesn't. As I thought about each and every "unfair" aspect of my situation I started to get angrier and angrier. I finally put my son down to bed, went to my bed and laid down.
All was quiet. I had unloaded on God and it didn't make me feel any better. After laying in silence for awhile I heard the words "what are you thankful for?" Well I'm thankful for my son, I thought. I'm thankful for my family, I thought again. I'm thankful for my friends. I'm thankful for a home to live in. I'm thankful for food on my table. I'm thankful for a car to drive in. On and on I went until it was clear my list of things I was thankful for was quite long. As I started to dwell on what I was thankful for my heart started to let go of the anger I was feeling. I started to realize how richly blessed I am. I started to see how in the midst of some terrible circumstances God was providing for me, leading me, taking care of me.

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 2 Thessalonians 5:18

Oh give thanks to The Lord, for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever. Psalm 107:1

When you look at something with a magnifying glass what does it do? It enlarges it. It makes it bigger than what it really is. We choose every day what we will magnify. In my moment of sadness and very real emotion I started to magnify every single thing I had lost. I began to magnify every pain I was feeling. It lead me nowhere. It brought me more hurt and pain. The shift in my heart began when I chose to magnify what I was thankful for and magnify the one who bestowed each and every one of those blessings upon me. I began to feel blessed. I began to feel honored. I began to feel loved. I began to feel hopeful.

Every day and in every situation we make a choice of how we will respond. Choose this day what you will magnify. Choose thankfulness.

Sarah Rodriguez Rhodes

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Ellis Update: Today was a hard morning, guys. We got to the hospital & things just felt all wrong. I don’t know how to explain it other than that. Then the anesthesiologist had issues with some secretions Ellis was having that we were told amplified her risk during the surgery while under anesthesia. Given the past things we’ve walked through, we just decided it wasn’t a risk we were at all willing to take. So we made the decision to go home, re-group & do the surgery another day. Since the surgery is elective we had our medical teams full support in this decision. We are home now & doing well. This wasn’t an easy decision to make. For months we’ve prepared mentally, emotionally, schedule-wise, financially etc for this day. But we have to be lead by peace. And if those giving her medical care also weren’t completely at peace, it just wasn’t the right time, for whatever reason. I don’t always understand the “why” but I won’t always & I’m ok with that. We appreciate your prayers & promise to keep you informed of when her surgery will be in the coming months. Also, the day wasn’t a complete loss...Ellis did get to hang with the cute hospital dog-so at least that part was a win ☺️ Looking for some kind of humor-it’s been a rough day.

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