FLAGCOUNTER

life

There’s always this one person that comes into our lives who makes us feel a sense of euphoria. Perhaps, it’s that feeling we’ve been longing for a long time now. Finally, we get to do the things we’ve been wanting to do with someone for a very long time.

Over time, we discover that person more and more like how we read a book from cover to cover amazed at every new word we discover and quite dismayed at some of the words with meanings we never fully expected. Each day is a page in someone’s life full of plot twists and elucidations of prior actions. We discover things that make or break our perspective of him. We understand things a bit better now. We do things differently after a while. Because time gives us moments of action, we do things we normally don’t show; most likely in a way that isn’t a character of what we want the other to see even if that mask didn’t totally cover up that face. We eventually stopped playing Jack, and went as Leonardo DiCaprio.

Somehow, some day, or at some point, we become so used to these actions like how we no longer deem a simple holding of hands as a sweet gesture but rather a habit to be done. That one peck on the cheek becomes a bit too simple and “conservative” in context unlike the first time when it truly meant something. In other cases, the traits we used to find endearing become annoying like how being clingy before equated to feeling special and irreplaceable and how it wasn’t as annoying as we remember it. Affectionate actions have become so habitual that we tend to reserve the special moments on special days like monthsaries or anniversaries so we could remember how it truly felt like the first time around.

Then, if we just remember how it was before, things get a bit brighter. Despite the fact that things change, he’s still the person who was there when we needed it the most. Not by the spoiled shallow moments we needed attention, but by the moments that we really needed a shoulder to lean on and a hand to hold on. We did get hurt. We did wallow in sadness because of that person, but on the most part, it was for our own selfish reasons. We are constantly reminded of the negative things like how we see the negative in everyone and yet we fail to see the positive side that outnumber the negatives. We fail to see that because the positive is being shrouded, clouded by that negativity.

Staying in love is a choice rather than a feeling. We are fickle-minded people with Inside Out characters playing inside our head and to constantly rely on our feelings means we’re constantly building a deck of cards with winds that come and go. Remind that fluctuating mind of ours that it’s worth staying. Because when everything becomes too late, we can’t do a ctrl + z to undo the damage we’ve done or a ctrl + c, ctrl + v to have another one like him in our lives once he leaves.

Fuck you. Typical response for you, for making me feel pathetic, for making me feel that I just wasn’t good enough for anyone, for practically wasting all my time on you when I could have just entertained somebody else. Here’s a middle finger for being such a distraction, and for making me worry about things I shouldn’t have been worried about. Basically, you left me in a very dark place where I began to become so unsure of myself, and I hated how that felt. I hate it. A lot. I do not ever want to go back there again.

Sorry. You broke my heart. Let’s admit that, but I guess part of the reason you did that was because I broke your heart first, and that I didn’t know I had already done it. I transformed into a person that no longer made you happy. I failed to do my part of thinking about you and how you were. Perhaps, up until now, I still thought of my own hurts, my own pains and burdens to bear, and blamed you for everything when I also had my fair share of faults. Sorry if I ever did fail your expectations, and that I became too much to handle.

Thank you. Thank you for the experience, and for teaching me some of the do’s and don’ts that I should have known a long time ago. Perhaps, I became a better version of myself after all we’ve been through. Looks like I could stomach seafood and veggies after all. Thank you for indirectly telling me that it’s not about you nor is it about me, but it’s about “us”, and if “us” doesn’t work then there’s no point in letting it go on. Thank you for making me feel special even in that amount of time. Just because everything ended, doesn’t mean that the feelings we had weren’t real. They were, and I thank you for that kind of happiness you gave me that time, and I’ll be sure to look forward to the next time I’d feel that way albeit with another person and on different circumstances.

When I was a kid, I anticipated the coming of September because it signified that the -Ber months were already here. Of course, by the -ber months, I actually meant that the Christmas season was actually starting; neighbors would start putting up their Christmas decorations on their homes, radios would start playing Christmas tunes, TV stations would start showing Christmas-themed shows, and stores would start selling Christmas merchandise like trees, series and snowflake stickers. Continue reading →

Relationships are a peculiar thing. Perhaps, what makes them most peculiar is that they are mostly founded with Love – a force that is so powerful that it causes a lot of strange things to happen sometimes for the best and other times for the worst. It is inevitable, though, that people do change because of love may it be in an official relationship or not. It’s love that binds them to change their character and eradicate who they once were.

It works only to a certain extent. Long Distance Relationships (LDRs) are hard to maintain mainly because relationships are meant to be primarily personal. There are a lot of challenges regarding LDRs. People in LDRs suffer the most as compared to other people in non-LDR relationships.

Corrupt government officials, polluted waters, police forces accepting bribes from criminals, and children smoking cigarettes and sniffing drugs. Now tell me, how can a 15-year-old teenager like me be able to make peace come alive in my world? It’s very simple. I divide my peace into four pieces. Each piece is given to each essential being in our span of existence.

The first piece of peace I give to is for the young – the innocent children who are most influenced by the environment for they are on the verge of building up their personality. It is hard to undo the mistakes of the past. Thus, we focus more on the future. I, as a Catechist, enjoy teaching children stories of God and His awesome wonders and at the same time teaching them good morals. I try as much as possible to rid of them the negative things they have acquired whether vocal or actual. I firmly believe that we should educate the young whilst they’re still innocent for they will bring the principles we taught until they grow up and mature. We should influence the young as much as possible. He who influences the thoughts of his times, influences all the times that follow.

The second piece, I give to the adults – the parents, professionals, workers, teachers and the like. I have to establish peace with them. Why? First of all, I commend some of them for being good role models and teaching me and the other kids the right values and proper conduct. For some adults who have been exhibiting all the wrong things in life publicly, I thank you for showing me what not to be when I grow up. However, not all children or teenagers are like me. Some may view your actions as something worth emulating. This is not actually a word of condemnation for adults, but a thought worth reflecting: Adults should be role models. You are the ones who are responsible for the formation of characters of each young individual. May you form their characters as something worth exemplifying. We don’t want to end up with the same problems in the years to come.

The third piece that I give to is for the people of my generation – the teenagers who are going to be adults in a couple of years time. I, as a concerned teenager who is also a part of this generation, am also concerned of the outcome when we take our part in the soon-to-be vacated offices which we will take over. Accompanied with the large responsibilities that we will inherit, it is important that we are at peace so we would be able to work in unison. With unity, we are able to achieve many things harmoniously and successfully and that we could withstand each single problem that would come in our lives with utmost pride and concern.

The fourth and final piece I give to is for myself. Well, you might be thinking that this is pure selfishness, but actually it’s not. In fact, it’s the exact opposite. It is important for me to have a piece for the reason that it actually helps me avoid near temptations of sin. Peace in myself gives me the thought that all these happenings are a part of God’s plan not only for me, but also for others as well. A great example would be that instead of being envious of others’ success, I become proud for that particular person. It gives me the idea that I’m not the only child of God, but He too has other children that perhaps, are more deserving of their success. It also gives me at least a tiny speck of hope amidst trials and problematic circumstances – to continue fighting and persevering for my goals.

By giving these four pieces of peace, I am able to complete the greatest puzzle of life. By influencing one person at a time from the different sectors, my influence reaches to other people as well from whom I have influenced; thus, causing a chain reaction. In that way, I am able to achieve peace in my world. With hard work and prayer, I, together with God and everybody else, will be able to have a peaceful world that would last for all eternity.