Date: Thu, 16 Sep 1999 01:35:46 -0500
From: Matt
Subject: Search and Rescue 6
This is part six of my continuing story. Sorry for the delay--no tragedies
or anything; I've just been on vacation for two weeks, but I do want to
offer my sincerest hopes and prayers to some of the writers and readers who
have experienced illness, a death in the family, or natural disasters of
late. I will try to be a bit more prompt with the next chapter, so keep
reading.
My gratitude for the kind words and feedback of some of my favorite
supporters like Yuli and Matthew, as well as the continuing support of
fellow authors Tonny ("When You Say Nothing at All") and Lauren ("Lucky
Me"), who inspire me not only to write, but to strive to become a better
writer. For those who have not read these stories, I encourage you to do
so.
As always, I must make mention of the continued support of D (DLS, author of
"Brian and Me"), whose stories, feedback, conversations, and overall support
never fail to inspire me. He's been a good friend to this novice writer,
and people like him remind me why I enjoy doing this.
Having said all that, I hope you enjoy the story. If you do or don't, you
can let me know how I'm doing at mnhunter@midsouth.rr.com.
Now for my standard disclaimer (pan down--you'll see the gap):
WARNING: This story is sexually-explicit (or at least getting there),
involving homosexuality. Do not continue if this will offend you. If
accessing this story causes you to break local laws, please leave now. By
continuing , you implicitly declare and affirm under penalties of perjury
that you are not a minor or in the company of a minor and are entitled to
have access to sexually-explicit material. The content and opinions
expressed in this story do not imply anything with regards to the sexual
preference of any member of 'N SYNC or any other celebrities named herein.
It is a work of fiction entirely.
"Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod," JC kept repeating to himself over and over as
he pulled himself away from me while I sat there in utter disbelief. I was
frozen as he stumbled over his tennis shoes and tumbled into the floor.
I was pulled back to reality with a start. I slid to my knees beside him.
When he turned to face me, I noticed blood trailing from the scab at his
hairline. I grabbed the bed sheet behind me and started dabbing up the
drops headed for his eyes. He looked at me with a look of amazement, and I
burst into laughter.
His brow furled with rage. "I just made a complete ass of myself with an
encore performance of cracking my skull open. Now, if you don't mind, would
you care to tell me what's so hysterical?"
"The look on your face," I answered, trying to regain my composure.
"I'm glad I could entertain you before you throw me out," he replied
sarcastically, trying to stand.
"Now wait just a damn minute," I shouted as I grabbed his arm and pulled
him, once again, to the floor. I tried to suppress a shocked mouthing of
"oh" when I noticed he had hit the back of his head. He cringed when I
reached for him, and my face became stoic as I ran my fingers through his
hair, feeling his scalp.
His eyes softly closed, and his breath became bated. A single tear escaped
down his cheek, and he cried, "You hate me, don't you?"
I looked at him strangely. "Did I say that I hate you?"
"No," he shot back, "you didn't say anything. Your silence set it for
you."
"Josh, why do you think I would, or for that matter, could, hate you?"
"Because I'm gay."
"I'd assumed as much since the day I met you, though the kiss pretty much
removed any doubt in my mind. And your point?"
"Since the day . . . how?"
"The way you asked about Craig. You and he were close, weren't you?"
"Yeah," he answered, biting his lower lip and turning his head from me to
keep me from seeing the now steady stream of tears.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"I don't want to disgust you and push you away."
"Hey, I'm not going anywhere. It's my house, remember?" I asked, trying to
lighten the mood. When it was obvious that my feeble attempt at humor had
gone over like a whore in church, I continued with the serious tone, "Please
stop with the self-loathing. I happen to like you, and one kiss in a moment
when you needed someone isn't going to change that. Besides," I smiled, "it
was a good kiss."
He stared at me as though he were about to ask a question, but the words
never came. I knew, however, what was running through his mind.
"You're wondering if I'm gay?"
He nodded.
"Good question. I'm not big on labels, but I'm inclined to say yes. I've
always been a big believer in finding that perfect someone. It's just never
really mattered to me whether it was a guy or a girl--I just follow my
heart."
The look on his face told me I was giving him more questions than answers.
He hesitated before stammering, "Have you ever been with a guy?"
"One," I stated matter-of-factly. "He was my best friend all through high
school. We just sort of lost touch when he went away to college."
"Girls?"
"Same answer--one. She and I were together in junior high before I met
Rich."
"What happened, Matt?"
"A long story. It's one I'll tell you when the time is right."
"Okay."
"What about you and Craig?"
He actually winced. I knew I'd touched a sore subject, but he answered.
"He was the first guy I'd ever, you know, been with. I never knew what it
was like to love someone that completely."
"How long had you known each other?"
"A little over a year. On the one year anniversary of our first date, he
asked me to marry him, and I accepted."
"Wow," I said, honestly shocked, "that's a big commitment."
"I know. Not to mention what it will . . . would have done," he corrected,
tilting his head, "to my career, my family, my friends--everything."
"How did everyone take the news?"
"Well, coming out wasn't too bad. My parents reacted a lot better than I
expected, since I expected their Catholic upbringing to start spewing
quotations about my eternal damnation, but it wasn't like that. My mom was
the worse of the two, which surprised me, but even she came around pretty
quickly. Heather and TJ, my brother, were completely understanding."
"How'd the guys take it?" I asked.
"Well, Justin and Lance were incredibly supportive. Joey seemed almost
apathetic about it--it really just didn't matter to him at all, one way or
the other," he laughed. "Chris was a little hostile at first, but since
we'd been friends for so long, he worked through it."
"What about when you and Craig decided to tie the knot?"
"That didn't go quite as well. That was what the fight between Jus and I
was about. I had only told him and made him promise to keep it to himself
until I found the right time to tell everyone else," he answered.
"So what happened? I thought he was in your corner."
"It had nothing to do with the fact that I was gay, but it had everything
to do with the fact that I wanted to get married. He told the guys, and
they exploded. They were worried about what would happen to all of us as a
group when the news went public, so I decided to leave the group at the end
of the tour. Justin said I was being selfish by rushing into things without
thinking them through and that it would be the end of all our careers as a
whole." He smiled, "And I'm supposed to be one of the responsible ones."
"That's a lot to deal with, I know."
He tilted his head sideways and just looked at me. He finally broke the
silence, "I believe that you do. Can you tell me about it?"
I smiled a half-smile, "Another time, I promise, but it's late, and you
need your rest. Doctor's orders."
"You're a nurse," he reminded.
"And you're a pain in the ass," I smirked.
"But a cute one," he smiled.
"Pain or ass?" I teased after rolling my eyes back in my head. I helped
him to the bed, silently smiling when I could tell that he wished he hadn't
retorted with something that could have easily passed as a come-on line. I
fought my urge to laugh as I pulled the covers over him. "Goodnight, Josh."
"Night, Matt."
I walked to the light switch and turned to make sure he was situated before
flipping it. He was staring at me in such a way that I had absolutely no
idea what he was thinking. I walked back to the bed and sat alongside him.
"Thanks for talking to me, Josh. I know that was difficult for you."
"Thanks for listening."
"Anytime." Having said that, I leaned over and kissed him before going back
to my room.
I realized old habits die hard when I jumped out of the bed when the phone
rang. After it dawned on me that I wasn't on call since I no longer had a
job, I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and picked up the receiver. "Hello,"
I answered, my lips sticking together.
"Don't take this the wrong way, Matt, but DAMN! Are you trying to starve
us to death?"
I started laughing hysterically. "Sorry, Joey, but since no one lives
there full-time anymore, I don't keep any food in the cabinets. I forgot
about that until just now. Tell you what--are you on the phone in the
kitchen?"
"Duh," he replied, as I envisioned the goofy look on his face.
"Anyway, wise guy, there's a drawer to your left."
"I see it."
"There is a key ring towards the back."
"Got it."
"There are keys on it for the house and for the jeep in the garage out
back. Do you think you can find your way back to my house?"
"I think so," Joey muttered with minimal certainty.
"If not, my number is in speed-dial on the cell phone in the jeep."
"Okay," he sighed.
"Come on over whenever, and I'll make your guys breakfast."
"Sounds like a plan."
"When I stepped into the hallway, I bumped into Justin, who was staggering
down the wall. He smiled weakly at me, and I slid his arm around my neck
while I grabbed his waist. Together, we stumbled to the living room where I
deposited him on the couch.
"What's for breakfast?" he asked hopefully.
I laughed, "Depends--what are you making?"
"Oh, come on, I've got a broken leg," he pouted with his outstretched lower
lip.
"Keep up the melodrama, and I'll break the other one."
He feigned shock. "Okay, okay."
"I'm gonna make some omelets when the guys get here."
"That long?"
I tossed him a package of toaster pastries. "Eat that. I need to get
cleaned up."
When I made it to the bathroom, I decided to soak in the tub as a peace
offering to my back and knees. I stepped into the steaming water. The
sunken tub was one of the reasons I bought this place. I finally decided
that I had sat there long enough and stood up. While drying off, JC walked
in wearing only his boxers with a towel slung over his shoulder. I really
was used to living alone needed to remember to lock the doors.
JC turned beet red and put his back to me while I wrapped my towel around
my waist. He was staring at my reflection in the mirror when he smiled and
told me I didn't need to get dressed for his sake.
I smirked as I walked up behind him and grabbed his butt. "My, aren't we
forward?" I asked, walking past him.
That devilish grin appeared on his face again as he snatched my towel away
and forced me out the door. "Yes, we are" came from the other side as I
darted into my bedroom.
I rummaged through the refrigerator before emerging with eggs, cheese, ham,
and an arm full of vegetables. I silently cursed when the milk jug crashed
to the floor and began spilling its contents.
Lynn poked her head around the corner, "Need a hand?"
"Absolutely."
"What can I do?" she asked as she knelt down to pick up the plastic
container.
"Towels are under the sink," I answered, dropping everything in my arms
onto the countertop.
She wiped up the spilled milk while I began cracking eggs.
"Now what?"
"Do you want to slice the vegetables while I cut up the ham and cheese?"
"Sure," she responded, taking the knife I had offered. We continued on in
silence for a few moments before she again spoke. "I wanted to say thank
you for everything you have and are doing for the guys."
"Not a problem. I'm enjoying getting to know them," I told her as I used
my knife to push some meat into the skillet.
"They all really seem to open up to you, but I've never known JC to open up
as much as he did to you last night."
I froze. I didn't know how much she knew, and I certainly didn't want to
be the one to tell her.
"Relax," she smiled. "I've known he was gay for some time."
A thought occurred to me . . . .
"I heard his screams last night and got up to check on him. That's when I
heard you two," she replied.
"He's a good person," I told her, "and I think very highly of him."
"But do you love him?"
I paused.
"It's not a trick question."
"I know, Lynn. I was asking myself that very question."
"And your answer?"
"Yeah, I do," I smiled, surprising even myself. "I know I haven't known
him all that long, but I feel things for him I haven't felt in a long time."
"I can tell," she said. "He's a good boy--man," she corrected, "and I can
tell he feels the same way about you. He's lived with Justin, my husband
Paul, and me for quite a while now, and I've grown to love him as a son. It
kills me to see him in pain."
"I promise you, Lynn, I would never do anything to hurt him."
"Not intentionally, no, of course not, but be careful. He has the biggest
heart of anyone I've ever known, but while that makes him capable of
tremendous love, it makes him capable of tremendous pain. I don't ever want
him to experience a loss like he did with Craig. After all, it's not
everyday you find someone to share the rest of your life with."
That last remark caught me off guard, and I sliced my thumb wide open when
the knife slipped. "Shit," I muttered to myself as I stuck my hand under
the faucet and watched the water turn crimson.
"Sorry," she apologized. "I guess you wouldn't have known that I knew
about their wedding plans."
"I didn't," I conceded, "but I guess it makes sense that Justin would have
told you, too."
"Justin didn't tell me--Craig did."
I really didn't have any snappy comeback or witty repartee for that one.
"Craig approached me when JC started to consider leaving the group. Craig
wanted me to stop him from doing that because he didn't want to be
responsible for JC giving up his dreams. He felt JC would grow to resent
him for it, so he asked Justin and I to convince him to stay." Having said
that, she walked out of the kitchen, leaving me standing there trying to
process it all.
She came back something in her hand. I recognized it as the card Justin
had bought what seemed like an eternity ago. The long and the short of it
told JC that Justin was completely behind any decision he made, and that he
told the guys and said what he did in accordance with Craig's wishes.
Justin wrote how much it hurt him to betray JC's confidence that way, but
everyone was doing what they thought was right. He told JC he was sorry for
his loss and that Craig was a very special person that they all would miss.
The wording of the card moved me to tears. "Thanks, Lynn. I had wondered
what Justin had said that changed JC's mind."
She smiled. "I raised a pretty good kid, and I take partial credit for JC
as well; however," she began, changing her tone, "I can tell there's
something you're holding back."
"There's a lot I'm holding back," I agreed. "I just don't want to hurt
him."
"I know," she smiled, brushing my hair out of my face, "but not telling him
may hurt him worse. You two can work through it together."
About that time, Lance appeared around the corner. "You can start the
party now--the reinforcements have arrived," he joked, but his face
tightened when he saw my tears. "Matt, what's wrong?"
"Nothing," I smiled, lying convincingly, "absolutely nothing. I was just
slicing up an onion."
"Okay," he said, the smile returning to his face when he saw the onion Lynn
had diced. "I'll get out of your hair until you're through." With that, he
vanished as quickly as he had appeared.
Lynn and I took the food out to the table, and everyone ate in virtual
silence, simply because they were hungry. Joey finished first and went into
the kitchen to start washing dishes. Chris quickly followed suit.
Lynn was staring at JC and I when she asked if I would call a cab for her.
"What?" Justin asked, almost choking on his juice.
"I've decided to head back to Orlando."
"I thought you were staying through the end of the week until I could go
back with you."
"You're doing great, hon, and I have no doubt in Matt's abilities to look
after you guys. You can come back to Orlando whenever you're ready,
although I'll understand if you want to stay for a while for a change of
scenery," she told him while looking at JC and I. We both visibly blushed.
"Okay," Justin laughed, "but only if we take you to the airport."
She smiled and helped him back to her room so they could get her packed,
leaving Lance, JC, and I.
Lance was more perceptive than I thought, grabbing all of the remaining
dishes and excusing himself from the table with a wink. JC reached across
to me and just stroked the back of my hand with his thumb. I stood up and
walked behind him. Bending over his shoulder, I kissed him while he stroked
the side of my face.
After something of a cluster, we managed to get everyone, and I do mean
everyone, into my sports utility vehicle, and we headed for the airport. It
was a decision I quickly regretted.
I parked in the lot, and JC and I went in to get a wheelchair for Justin.
We really didn't think too much about it until a flock of girls mobbed him
and ripped off his clothes. JC shot me an evil look, but even that didn't
stop me from rolling with laughter. I pulled him away from his "adoring
public" and pushed him into the men's rest room, where I barricaded the
door. A traveler stepped out of one of the stalls and gave me a curious
look. When I told him to take off his clothes, that didn't help matters
any.
"Excuse me?" he shouted.
"You're roughly Josh's size. I need something for him to wear," I
explained, pulling a considerable amount of cash out of my wallet. It was
now JC's turn to laugh at the complete absurdity of the situation.
"Oh," he exclaimed with relief. He fished out a duster from his garment
bag, and JC put it on. I handed JC my sunglasses and grabbed the hat from
the other guy's head. I thanked him for his assistance and helped him out
the door.
"We're gonna have to time this perfect," I told him. He just looked at me
as if to say "It's all you." I grabbed my cell phone and called the car.
"Hello," Chris greeted.
"Chris, here's what I want you to do . . . ."
When Joey, Lance, and Chris came into the airport, intentionally drawing
attention to themselves, Lynn and Justin slipped away to Lynn's gate, where
JC and I caught up with them.
"Alright, guys, I won't keep you," Lynn announced just as the others burst
out of a nearby stairwell. "How . . . ?"
Joey smiled, "Matt told us which doors to take, and his instructions got us
out of the crossfire."
"Next time," Chris panted, "can you map out a route with a little less
running. Carl Lewis would have been hard-pressed to move faster."
"How did you know?" Lance asked.
"I worked for one of the shipping companies unloading planes for a time in
college."
Lynn grabbed all of the guys into a hug while I just stood back and smiled.
As she picked up her carryon, she came over and hugged me. She kissed me on
the forehead and told me, "Take good care of my boys."
"I will."
"I know," she said simply as she turned and walked to the plane.
We finally made it back to my place after sneaking out of the airport. As
we pulled into the driveway, there was a car I didn't recognize. When I put
my key in the door, the door flew open without resistance. The guys looked
at me for direction, but I just pushed my way past them.
Two young girls were sitting on the couch eating ice cream and watching a
music video. They turned towards us when we entered, and they became
completely unglued and screamed at the top of their lungs.
I chuckled. "Guys, I'd like you to meet the biggest 'N SYNC fans in the
world. This is Caitlin and Colleen Hunter . . . my daughters."
TO BE CONTINUED . . . . . .
Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Send them to mnhunter@midsouth.rr.com.