This story is a companion to Q-stume Party and All's Fair in Q
and War. It is meant to stand on its own as a tale; however if
you like this, you may want to read them as well.
As always, the characters belong to Paramount and I am merely
putting them through their paces for my own amusement and the
amusement of others.
Q's Pawn by Mercutio (mercutio@europa.com)
The bridge crew was seated in Ten-Forward, having a
companionable drink, Geordi LaForge and William Riker seated
at a separate table, discussing a pending promotion for a
member of the engineering department.
"And her work?"
LaForge nodded. "Her work is superb. In the six months since
her duties were changed to get her more into the programming
side of engineering, with an emphasis on ferreting out holodeck
bugs, she's been nothing short of phenomenal. And her work
on the holodeck... I couldn't say enough good things about that.
Sir, there's no one better... Her improvements in holodeck
safety alone are worth several commendations. One of her sub-
routines saved Ensign Berlon from a broken neck. I even
suggested she publish the work she'd done in creating the
specialized costumes for the... incident."
Riker persisted. "But? You seem to have some doubts about
her, commander?"
"Well, she isn't what I'd call a model Starfleet officer."
"That's pretty vague. Can you be more specific?"
Geordi spread his hands helplessly. "It's nothing more than a
feeling I have. I can't justify it. She's more on the ball than
Reg, but I doubt I'd recommend him for a promotion either."
Riker stroked his beard thoughtfully.
A sudden flash of light indicated the arrival of everyone's
favorite nuisance -- Q. A groan ran through the assembled
Starfleet officers, quickly suppressed. No one there *wanted*
to spend the rest of the mission as a guinea pig. That someone
would end up that way was beyond question.
Q posed himself, then announced dramatically, "You have taken
me for a fool, Picard."
"Is that hard?" Riker inquired innocently.
"How deep, Riker," Q said snidely. "Gelled your hair yet
today? You seem to have flattened your brain along with your
hairpiece."
"Q." Picard said warningly. "Get to the point. You've
exhausted my patience with your pranks."
"Why, mon capitaine! I prefer to think of it as enlivening your
dreary little existence."
Picard folded his arms and stared at Q.
"I have a game for you." Q smiled mischievously.
"No games, Q." Picard's voice was flat.
Q affected a wounded air. "Not even Hide and Go Seek?" He
looked at Worf. "Or Red Rover, Red Rover?"
"The captain said no games, Q," Riker butted in, standing up,
as if to physically hustle Q out of Ten Forward.
Q examined him thoughtfully. "And I thought I'd totally
humiliated you before. It seems I was wrong. Pity. I'll have
to try harder, then." And he smiled, slowly.
Riker paled, and sat down. Troi patted his hand comfortingly.
Deshanya clapped her hands. "Oh, goody. What now?"
Everyone seated at the table swiveled their heads to look at the
latest arrival to Ten Forward. Riker groaned deeply as if in
pain. "Oh, no. Not again."
Troi jabbed him sharply in the ribs. "You weren't involved
before."
Riker puffed up. "The ship was involved; therefore I was
involved. Although you might not understand this, Deanna, in
some senses, *I* am the ship."
Q rolled his eyes at Riker's extravagant posturing, then flipped a
wrist.
Riker disappeared in a flash of light.
"Where is he, Q?" Picard asked flatly.
"Off entertaining the natives," Q said flippantly. "I was tired of
him."
Deshanya ignored the byplay. "The game. What's the game?"
she asked, clapping her hands together, and gazing intently at
Q.
Q smiled indulgently at her, as a child would at a favored puppy
dog. "Why, the classic game of all humankind. Chess, of
course."
Another groan ran through the officers at the table, quickly
suppressed when Picard glanced warningly at them.
Q affected a disappointed moue. "You haven't even heard the
stakes yet."
"Stakes?" Picard asked warily. "Can't we just play for fun?"
Q pretended surprise. "I can't believe you said that, Jean-Luc.
Fun? Do you even know what that word means?"
"Killing you," Worf growled low in his throat, "would be fun."
"I suppose even lower life forms such as yourself need
aspirations, Worf." Q dismissed Worf from his mind, turning
back to Picard. "The stakes, Jean-Luc, are the lives of your
players against my prize. You win, and you get all your people
back alive, *and* you get the lovely prizes behind curtain
number three. You lose, and all you take with you are the lives
of the players you have still on the board. The others will be...
how do you say it?" He smiled slowly, showing his teeth.
"Terminated. A piquant little game, wouldn't you say?"
"Q..." Picard began, but was cut off, as one by one, each of his
officers disappeared as well in a flash of light.
At last only he and Q remained in Ten Forward. Q bent over
Picard's table, one foot up on a chair, looming threateningly
over him.
"Are you thinking of backing out, Picard? Surely, you aren't
afraid of playing a friendly game of chess against a *loser* like
myself?" Q's eyes were narrow and dangerous, contrasting with
his light, silkily insinuating tone.
Picard stared at Q, unable to grasp his meaning. A loser like
Q? That was hardly how he'd describe Q. Then, with a sudden
start, Picard recalled Q's last appearance on the Enterprise,
where Q had competed with Lieutenant Deshanya for control of
the ship. Picard had been the referee of that match, which
neither player had won. His own words came back to him then,
"You're both losers." Was his crew about to pay for his
indiscretion?
Q read the captain's dawning comprehension and with a satisfied
smirk, moved them in a burst of light to the playing field.
****
Ten Forward disappeared and was replaced by a chess board.
Each person was on their own square, and dressed in a costume
appropriate to their piece.
Deshanya looked at her own costume in dismay. A tight fitting
white one piece miniskirt outfit, topped off with a white sailor
cap on her head. How humiliating.
Then she looked straight across the board at Q. He was the
black queen in drag, and very fittingly dressed indeed. She
could think of nothing else but the queen in the ancient Disney
pre-hologram version of Snow White: long black gown, head
and neck wrapped in the same black fabric, crown perched on
top. Q gestured, and she saw his gloved hand rise from his
sweeping sleeves. Gold rings adorned his fingers over the
gloves, glittering in the light.
His apparel would have been comical, if not for the deadly
serious air of elegance he wore along with his costume. The
look on his face warned that he was not a man, err...
omnipotent entity, to be trifled with, despite the ridiculous
nature of his clothing. He was the one who would do any
trifling.
Deshanya suddenly giggled, picturing Riker as the white queen.
She'd love to see that. What looked good, if somewhat
disturbing, on the sartorially advantaged Q would look hysterical
on the macho first officer.
She turned around, looking for Riker. There was no queen;
Picard, the white king, stood next to the empty square,
scowling. The blank square was right behind her. There was
no white queen in this game.
She was queen's pawn. The game would be fairly short for her,
then. Deshanya hadn't played terribly much chess, but she
knew the two center pawns, queen's pawn and king's pawn,
generally got wiped off the board quickly.
The "board" was a grassy field, about fifty feet long. Each
square was approximately six feet by six feet square, and
colored green or yellow. Her own square was filled with
emerald green grass, but dotted, for some reason, with
dandelions. Green dandelions. Definitely not something found
in nature.
She looked around at the other white pieces.
Picard was the white king, pinned down and unable to move.
Definitely some symbolism going on there, especially with Q as
the only queen, the most powerful piece on the board.
She knew all of the other important white pieces, most of whom
had been in Ten Forward when Q appeared. Geordi and Data
were the rooks, stalwart and powerful. Worf was a knight, as
was Ensign Ro. Deanna and Beverly were the bishops.
The pawns were filled out with other members of the crew. She
recognized the king bishop's pawn as Ensign Berlon, who'd
accidentally tried to ski down a holo-mountain without any skis.
He was embarrassingly grateful to her for what he called saving
his life. She called it good programming. He seemed less than
pleased than the short white kilt he was wearing, although she
would have preferred it over her miniskirt.
White was to move first, an advantage Picard found peculiar.
Why would Q give him such an advantage? Or could there be
any such thing in a game with Q?
Picard moved his pawn out two spaces. The opening moves in
a game like this were usually perfunctory. Against a skilled
player, the game was all strategy at this point, placing pieces for
great advantage later and struggling for control of the center of
the board.
It would be later, when the first white piece was threatened that
the game would become interesting.
Picard played more cautiously than he usually would, with each
order realizing that he was dealing an enormous handicap.
These were not simply chess pieces he was playing with, they
were his crew, and their lives depending on the moves he asked
them to make.
****
The black bishop stepped forward onto Worf's square, sneering.
Picard felt a jolt of sadness. He'd just lost a valued crewman to
whatever horrific fate Q had in mind. This was the first take in
the game, and he'd have to see many more before the game was
over.
Worf refused to go quietly. He met the bishop snarling, and
leapt for his throat. The bishop went down without any
resistance at all, caught off guard by the sudden, vicious attack.
Deshanya watched in horrified bemusement as Worf killed the
bishop, and the *bishop* disappeared in a flash of light. That
was totally against all the rules of chess! Worf was the one who
should have disappeared, would have disappeared in an ordinary
game. This wasn't chess at all! This was *Battle* Chess!
Worf stood up and bared his teeth to Q, clearly indicating that
he'd like to tear out that entity's throat if he had the chance.
Picard weighed his options. Killing people was against his
principles. But if he did, he'd have an advantage in this game.
The only advantage he'd had so far. And if he chose to take
advantage of it... "Knight to Bishop Three."
Worf walked back to his previous square, growling slightly.
Q's face was at its thinnest and most arrogant. He was royally
pissed at Picard's finesse of Q's own rules. He was no longer
amused.
The black bishop's pawn jumped forward two spaces, giving Q
room to move.
Picard posted his queen's knight forward, placing it where it
could fork both rook and bishop.
Q sneered at that obvious piece of chicanery and strode forward
to queen rook four, grandly positioned to sweep the knight off
the board.
Picard moved his own queen bishop's pawn forward two spaces,
protecting the knight.
Q stepped over and flicked the knight out of existence, without
even touching him.
Picard retaliated by moving his pawn to Q's square, hoping to
wipe Q off the board.
Q raised an eyebrow. "You didn't really think that would work,
did you, Picard?" With a flick of his sleeve, he obliterated the
hostile pawn, exploding it into tiny white bits of confetti. "As
you can see, your feeble attempts at strategy are impotent."
Picard faced Q, not one whit intimidated. "How can this be
fair, Q, if you simply destroy my pieces? This is not a game;
it's a debacle."
"And fun, too," Q said smirking.
Picard abandoned that line of attack. It was obviously futile to
oppose Q directly. As unfair as it might be, his only option
appeared to be concentrating on the other pieces on the board.
They were not directly controlled by Q, as evidenced by the
destruction of the bishop which Worf had taken.
Worf was his most valuable asset at the moment, and now that
Q had raised the stakes, Picard intended to use him.
At Picard's order, Worf stepped over to take a black pawn,
placing himself in danger from another black pawn.
He could care less. He intends to shred the other pawn.
Q watched Worf with narrowed eyes. Having Dino-boy
wandering around winning an intellectual game by brute force
did not appeal to him.
As the black pawn stepped diagonally onto Worf's square, it and
the next closest pawn became tribbles.
The tribbles reacted with fear and anger at the presence of a
Klingon.
Worf did the same thing. Backing away from the tribbles,
trying to put some space between them and him, he backed out
of his square.
Q smirked as Worf disappeared in a flash of light. How easy.
****
Deshanya sat down on her square, bored. She hadn't moved in
a long time, and it didn't look like she was ever going to get to
move again. Why, she didn't know. Certainly Data and Worf
were more effective pieces. And a pawn had pretty limited
value. But she was a center piece. In a more normal game,
she'd be off the board by now, languishing in whatever holding
cell Q had designated. Whatever it was, it had to be better than
this.
The black queen strode smoothly forward, Q's skirts swirling
around his ankles. The white pawn in his path simply blinked
out of existence, unable to proffer any defense. Q stopped next
to Deshanya, bending over her.
"Tired, my dear?"
"You have to admit it's kind of boring."
Picard tried to call out a warning to her, vividly imaging what Q
would consider interesting, but Q froze him in his steps with a
look.
Q sat down next to her, lounging on his own square. "Why,
whatever do you mean?"
"Well, you're too powerful. We have no chance. There's no
point to playing when you can just blow us out of existence. I
mean, you could take me on your next move, and then if Data
tried to take you, you'd just disappear him out of here. That's
hardly fair."
"Fair? This is Battle Chess. And I *am* all powerful." He
shrugged. "Seems fair to me."
"Of course, it'd seem fair to you. *You're* winning." She put
her arms around her knees. "Well, it doesn't matter, 'cause I'm
not going to play."
Q looked at her, considering, and remembering how he'd tried
to force her to play a game his way before. It hadn't worked,
although trying had been rather interest... err, aggravating. "I
*am* following the same rules as your team," he announced
loftily. "Rather large of me, I think, since I could just wipe you
from existence."
"Oh, thank you, magnificent Q. I am awed by your continued
generosity."
He rested on one elbow. "I am rather awe-inspiring, aren't I?"
"Inspiring, yes. Of death threats more than awe, though,
judging by the attitudes of other people around here."
"Just pretty words," he said, flicking his hand contemptuously.
"They couldn't even touch me."
"Ah, yes. You're too wonderful for us, will swat us aside like
flies, blah, blah, blah, blah, and so on. What's the point of us
even playing?"
"I agreed to abide by the rules," he said, the words obviously
being dragged out of him. "Satisfied?"
She looked him over suspiciously. "I guess. I'd be happier if I
had that notarized."
"Such lavish trust. No wonder you're not married."
Stung, she retorted, "Are you offering?"
"To marry you? My dear, wouldn't you prefer to continue
living in sin and holding our sordid lives up for the world to
scorn?"
Deshanya considered Q gravely, chewing on her bottom lip.
"On second thought, you're right. Living in sin *is* so much
more fun."
The Starfleet officers watched this conversation in total shock,
unable to interfere or interrupt.
"Are they *flirting*?" LaForge asked in disbelief.
Deanna and Beverly exchanged a brief glance. It was obvious
to both of them.
Picard silenced them all. "It may look like flirting, but since Q
does not have a heart, he is incapable of giving it away."
Beverly looked thoughtfully at him, but said nothing.
Picard considered the situation for a moment. This might be a
very good time to plan some strategy while Q was preoccupied
and distracted. Although he, Picard, might not approve of the
distraction in question, he needed to seize the advantage
presented to him.
Picard signaled to his bishop, Dr. Crusher, conveying his plan
silently with a few hand gestures.
Beverly nodded, understanding her role.
As the intrigue, plotting and possible flirtation transpired, the
black pawn-tribbles, having no direction and hardly anything
that could be called a mind, wandered off their squares,
disappearing in flashes of light to the surprise and chagrin of no
one, even their fearless leader, who had other things to attend to
at the moment.
"Of course I'm right," Q continued, blithely ignoring everyone
but Deshanya. "I'm always right."
"Explain mankind then."
He looked thoughtfully at her this time. "A joke?"
She shook her head. "Nope. I don't think so. Try again."
"Well, then I admit it. The truth has finally come out. I
created mankind to give me something to feel superior to."
"Hah! I knew it!" She sat up, crowing with joy at having won
a round with Q, when a thought suddenly struck her. She sat
back on her heels. "Oh, dear. That means *I'm* inferior."
"You mean you hadn't noticed?" he asked with a shocked
expression.
Deshanya stuck out her tongue at Q. "If I ever met someone
superior to myself, maybe I'd have a basis for comparison."
He raised his eyebrows at that one. "My superiority is far
beyond your comprehension. To show you the full might of the
Q would be to blind you."
She examined her arm thoughtfully. "Hmm. I *could* use a
tan." Looking up at him, she said brightly, "Go ahead. Blind
me."
"My dear, I am *not* a tanning lamp."
Geordi tried to stifle a laugh, folding his arms, and assuming a
very stiff stance to cover his brief lapse of dignity. Deanna
glanced at him, and then back at the captain, who was not
amused.
"Good thing I didn't agree to marry you, then."
"Are you in the habit of falling in love with electrical
appliances?" Q inquired blandly. "If you are, I think you'd find
Data more to your liking."
Data looked intrigued by that statement, always willing for an
opportunity to enhance his experience of the human condition.
"I wouldn't need to turn to electrical appliances, if you were
more active in bed." Deshanya wriggled her eyebrows
suggestively.
"Sex, sex, sex," Q said dismissively. "That's all you humans
think about."
Deshanya rolled her eyes and appealed to the world as a whole.
"I'm involved with a frigid deity. Can't anyone here relate to
me?" She turned back to Q. "The 'potent' part of the
description of your powers sure is misleading. Omnipotent,
hah!"
"I wouldn't know," Q said sweetly. "You've never let me into
your bed."
"Consider yourself invited, then. Or challenged. Whichever."
"It *would* be a challenge to sleep with you."
"Sure it would. You might have to admit to not knowing how."
Q arched a finger at her and beckoned her closer to the
boundary between the squares. When she was as close as she
could get without going over and getting removed from the
board, Q leaned close to Deshanya and whispered in her ear at
length.
Slowly, Deshanya turned red, flushing from the neck up. Her
white pawn uniform made the blush even more dramatic.
The Starfleet officers looked curiously at the pair, all except
Counsellor Troi, who was doing her best to block out the strong
emotions pounding at her from Deshanya. It was apparent to
her that the two had never been involved: the feel of unrequited
lust was easily apparent. With any other pair, she would have
suggested they consider it, just to see whether the intense
feelings were based on suppressed desire or actual liking for the
other person. In this case, her advice to Deshanya would be to
run away, as fast as she could. Not that running away would be
an effective tactic with Q.
In a detached manner, Q studied the effect he'd had on
Deshanya.
Deshanya looked up at him out of the corner of her eye, visibly
moved. "I take back everything I said. Your knowledge and
experience obviously far surpass mine."
He returning to his lounging position, satisfied with himself.
"But, Q... You can only do so many things with cabbage."
He grinned wickedly. "I don't think I said anything about
cabbage. Perhaps you'd like to share your thoughts with all of
us?"
She shook her head. "Oh, no. After that... *vivid*
demonstration of your prowess, I bow to your superior
abilities."
"As well you should, my dear."
Picard nodded to Dr. Crusher. This was the time, if there ever
was one. Q was completely involved with Lieutenant Deshanya.
Dr. Crusher stepped smoothly over to the remaining black
knight.
The knight smiled broadly at the prospect of easy pickings. He
moved to meet her in the center of the square.
Beverly didn't change her expression a hair. As the knight
closed with her, she pressed a hypo against his arm.
The hypo hissed, and the knight looked at her, startled.
"Bitch," he said, and disappeared.
The action attracted Q's attention. The game was getting
interesting again.
Q stood up, skirts swirling around his booted legs. "I must go
now. Starfleet captains to annoy, you know."
Deshanya smiled at him. "But of course. Be my guest."
Q leaned down and took her hand, placing a kiss on the back of
it. "A pleasure, as always, my dear."
Deshanya colored again.
Q moved smoothly away, striding across the board in a swirl of
black fabric, to talk to the ever lovely Dr. Crusher.
"Beverly, I'm charmed that you'd make this obvious bid for my
attention, but truly, you didn't need to. I've always been more
than willing to accept the offer of your lovely self. I've never
understood your hopeless passion for that bald fellow."
The bald fellow did not look amused.
"You flatter me, Q, but no," the good doctor said firmly.
Q shrugged. "As you wish."
With a negligent gesture, Q banished Dr. Crusher to the holding
area, then turned to smirk at Picard.
Picard stared back levelly, then nodded to Data, who was
functioning better than Geordi inside his costume as a moving
castle.
Data moved up to the seventh row, taking one of Q's pawns,
and placing himself threateningly close to a number of the black
pieces.
Q responded by sending out his bishop to wreak havoc among
Picard's pieces.
Picard lined up his other rook, ready for anything. Geordi was
less than happy with the move, lumbering over unsteadily. If he
wanted to take a piece, all he'd have to do was fall on it.
The black bishop took one of Picard's pawns.
Picard nodded to Deanna, who understood what she had to do,
but looked less than happy with the assignment.
She walked up to the black bishop, a toothily smiling Ferengi.
"Oh, yes, come over here, dear."
Deanna smiled sickly at the little toad. She had no trouble
interpreting his feelings.
"Wouldn't you be more comfortable without so many clothes
on?"
Deanna leaned over the Ferengi, placing her hands on his ears.
The Ferengi shuddered in delight. "A woman after my own
heart."
There was nothing particularly wrong with stroking his ears, but
Deanna knew, and could feel very strongly how the Ferengi felt
about it, and she was consequently no more comfortable with
her actions than she would have been if she'd been jerking off a
human male in order to coerce him off his square.
However, the Ferengi was very malleable to being led anywhere
in his present state.
Deshanya smiled wickedly as she watched Deanna lure the
Ferengi off the square. Wasn't he going to be upset when he
wound up in the holding area and found he'd been tricked? Or
would he just be back wherever Q had gotten him from?
Hmm...
Her attention was distracted by Q. He stalked down to his
queen bishop's third row, placing himself in a threatening
position. He did not look happy.
Deshanya smiled delightedly. Finally, this was getting fun.
Data stepped onto the square of the queen rook's pawn, who
looked frightened.
"I beg your pardon," Data said politely.
The pawn looked at Data, then at Q. With a squeak of dismay,
the pawn fled, disappearing in a flash of light at the edge of the
square.
With a growl, the black rook stepped forward onto Data's
square, ready to destroy him.
Deshanya watched in fascination as Data stood proof against the
black rook's worst assaults. Finally, Data simply stepped
forward, his bulky costume a weapon in and of itself, and
physically shoved the black rook back step by step.
The black rook looked back frantically at the edge of the square,
but there was nothing he could do. Data was inexorable.
The rook teetered on the edge for a brief second, then
disappeared.
Deshanya cheered. "Way to go, Data!"
Q's lips thinned, and he strode over to Data, who looked up at
Q with a faintly surprised expression.
"I believe QB3 to QR2 is an illegal move for a queen to make,"
Data said in an even tone.
"Oh, stuff it, Data."
There was a flash of light. After the light faded, it could be
seen that both Q's and Data's pieces had disappeared.
A deafening silence fell over the game board, as the remaining
playing pieces tried to absorb what Q's removal from the game
meant. "He's gone. Is the game over?"
"I don't think so, but the game will certainly be a lot easier
without him here."
Suddenly, the black king, which had been nothing more than a
hunk of black obsidian before, came alive. It was Q, on his
throne from the encounter at Farpoint, and costumed similarly.
He was smiling very slightly. "Not so easily, mon capitaine."
"At least we have a near even weight of pieces now," Geordi
said hopefully.
"It's never even as long as Q's here," Picard said grimly.
"I'm glad you recognize my superior abilities, mon capitaine,"
Q said, still smiling that smugly superior smile. "Wise of you."
"I do not. I merely recognize your tendency to cheat."
Deshanya smiled. Q did do that. But that was the fun part.
****
After the brief respite, Picard pressed the attack, taking Q's
pieces right and left. With the black queen gone, he had a
decided advantage. None of the remaining black pieces had Q's
ability to simply flick other pieces out of existence.
Picard realized that, as the black king, Q apparently had less
control over his pieces, than Picard had over his own. The
black pieces acted on their own, without any guidance, an army
of individualists against Picard's trained officers. That was an
advantage Picard could use.
As the black queen, Q had been able to stride about and knock
pieces off the board with impunity, but as the king, he was
effectively hobbled.
However, that didn't make Q any less dangerous or treacherous;
it just gave the Starfleet officers a chance, however slim, to live
through this.
Picard was determined to make the most of his advantage.
Q's pieces disappeared one by one, as Picard neatly turned the
tables on Q. Without Q's direct interference, white was able to
defeat the black pieces with ease.
Q managed a few tactical successes, dwindling Picard's supply
of pieces down to a single pawn and a single rook.
But Picard understood strategy quite well, thank you, and he
used those pieces to block Q into a corner.
The only thing Picard didn't understand was why Q was
allowing this. It was within the rules of chess, but rules were
things Q had played fast and loose with before. However,
Picard was not going to turn down his advantage, even though
he suspected that Q had something truly humiliating in mind for
the endgame. Q would never let himself lose this contest.
Eventually, only the black king remained to stave off the white
offense, which was overwhelming. White had a rook and the
queen's pawn left, which almost guaranteed him a victory,
especially with Q pinned in the corner as he was.
Normally, a pawn would not be much of a help, but Picard had
skillfully maneuvered Deshanya's pawn to row 7, one square
away from promotion. On the eighth row, a pawn was
promoted to whatever other powerful piece a player wanted.
Knight, bishop, rook, even to a queen.
There was no way for Q to win. Black was doomed.
Deshanya stood on the square, knowing it was up to her.
Thoughts flickered through her head. What to do, what to do.
Picard expected her to become a white queen. That would be
checkmate. The game would be over; Q would have no legal
moves left at that point. White would have won, the Enterprise
would have triumphed over Q once again. It briefly occurred to
her that Q was going to be very angry when he was beaten.
The game had been nothing less than totally humiliating for
him. She felt very sorry for him.
Picard watched Deshanya hesitate on the edge of the square.
He glanced at Q, who was as still as a marble statue, and about
as yielding. He knew his own expression was equally
forbidding. What would Q do when he lost? Q was not a
graceful loser. Picard shook his head slightly. What Q would
or would not do was not his responsibility. All that mattered
was winning this game and saving his people's lives.
Deshanya closed her eyes, and jumped, thinking her choice as
she went, knowing Q would automatically promote her to that
piece. When she opened them, both Q and Picard were
regarding her with an air of surprised disgruntlement.
"You can't do that," Picard said sternly. "It's not in the rules."
"I just did it," Deshanya said with a matter-of-fact air. "Pawns
can promote to any piece, can't they?" She looked down at her
long black robes. A nice improvement over the white miniskirt,
although quite hot. Very stylish though. Deshanya felt that
black was more flattering to her coloring than white. She
especially approved of the gloves. The crown was a bit heavy,
though. Deshanya took it off and set it on the square at her
feet.
"Not to pieces from the other side!"
"Why not?"
Picard sputtered for an answer, trying to get control over his
temper.
As the black queen, the next move belonged to Deshanya. She
walked over to Geordi, the remaining white rook, who was in a
position to threaten Q. "Sorry, Geordi."
Geordi vanished in a flash of light before he could protest.
"Check," Deshanya said firmly. It was the first check in the
game.
Picard was now the one on the run. Without any pieces left,
and with Q possessing a queen, he was doomed.
Picard stared at her, "You were Q's pawn all along."
Deshanya shook her head. Nobody ever understood her. Did
nobody think she was capable of coming up with an idea on her
own? "Q didn't do it. I did."
Picard didn't believe a word of it. He stared at Q in frustration.
"That was the final straw, Q. I resign."
Q ignored Picard entirely, turning on Deshanya. "You won my
game for me! You stole my victory! What did you do that for?
I had him!" Q was apoplectic.
An amused grin dawned on Picard's face, as he started to
understand.
Deshanya shrugged her shoulders. "I felt sorry for you."
"Sorry? For me? My dear, I am not a stray puppy. I am Q."
"You were losing the game!"
"Win, lose, win, it's all the same. I would've beaten him," Q
said regally.
"You didn't have any pieces left!"
"And?"
"So you couldn't have beaten him!"
"Certainly I could. I'm Q."
"You couldn't have beaten him without cheating!"
Q raised an eyebrow. "So? Your point being?"
Deshanya flung her hands up in the air, long black sleeves
swirling. "I was just trying to help you."
"My dear woman, I don't *need* your charity."
Deshanya's chin went up. "Fine. Have yourself a lovely little
stalemate, then." And she stalked off the board, disappearing in
a flash of light at the edge.
Picard glanced at Q. "You always did have a way with women,
Q."
"Coming from you, Jean-Luc, I take that as a compliment."
Captain's Log
All of our crew members have been returned to us, unharmed.
Apparently, despite my resignation, the game was ruled a
stalemate, and judged accordingly.
Commander LaForge has informed me that, after a full review,
he has decided to recommend Lieutenant Deshanya for
promotion to full lieutenant. He has also chosen to commend
Deshanya for several contributions to his department, resulting
in improvements to holodeck design and safety, and for her part
in saving the life of Ensign Berlon.
Captain's Personal Log
Although Lieutenant Deshanya is apparently brilliant in her field
and merits the promotion, I also agree with Geordi's assessment
that her attitude leaves something to be desired of a Starfleet
officer.
I am unsure at this time whether to transfer her off the
Enterprise as she appears to be a magnet for Q, or to appoint
her as special liaison, since she seems able to defuse the worst
situations.
This incident has however deepened my own conviction that
Lieutenant Deshanya is a misfit, despite her rather remarkable
abilities. Although there is a place in Starfleet for original
thinkers, there is not a place for those who will not obey orders,
and who regard game-playing as more important than the
execution of their duties. However, I am inclined to class
Lieutenant Deshanya as an original thinker at this time. Despite
her insubordination and apparent disregard for the lives of my
crewmen, her actions in taking Q's side caused us to return
safely home.
Q's true purpose behind this incident could be to seek revenge
upon me for calling him a "loser" the last time we met. I admit
that my choice of words could have been more diplomatic,
given the known powers and disposition of Q. However, when
the entity in question is supremely irritating, it is difficult to
remember one's manners.
-the end... for now -
The complete moves in the chess game are available upon
request.