I'm sorry to say, this will remain a one shot. I wrote this to get my creative juices going and for fun, but I feel it's just fine as a one shot. Besides I haven't thought nearly ahead enough to warrant making this a multichap story .

I almost gave up reading at this sentence near the beginning: "she trotted over to a nearby ally way, and sat down on the cold cobblestones that made up the sidewalk." Capitalize it, and 'alleyway' is one word.

Big mistakes early like that make me less likely to finish a story. Fortunately I read on and really enjoyed it. A thumb up and a fave.

I absolutely love how it is all tied together. And the "overtime" thing was great.