How to Buy Condoms

“What will they think? Shit, what if they laugh? I still look like a kid! (Ok, maybe that one is just me) Damn what if they ask me what do I need it for?”

I was sweating buckets – the first time I bought condoms. Later it became the most popular “dare” I’d give to my friends in senior school. It used to scare them to death.

To help & promote safe sex, they installed many dispensing machines in restrooms of many poplar places, but thanks to some over-excited people – most of them are dysfunctional.

So do it like a man – go buy it from the store. Here are some tips from the thing they call experience, ahem:

The Golden Tip: The most common question is “What do I say?”

Make it easy on yourself – it’s easier to ask for a brand than a commodity. So instead of asking “Do you have condoms?” (Duh! they do!) Ask “Have you got Durex Super Thin?” or whatever your favorite is.

Don’t know what brands exists? Google! Durex & Moods are some good brands in India. Durex and Trojan (yikes) are some good brands in States.

Unlike cigarettes and alcohol, there is no minimum age limit to buy condoms. So it’s not illegal. Go ask for it as you’d ask for a bandage.

You don’t need a doctor’s prescription either. Also you can buy them from chemist, supermarket etc.

Some people just can’t keep their emotions in. If you’re afraid you might laugh, cry or shy away – just remember Frodo, Gollum & his cunning tricks to get the ring. Now go get the right… err condom.

How much money shall I carry? Google, again. I remember one of my friends carrying a 500 bucks notes ($10) “Finally I can buy them!” *Faceplam* they don’t cost that much. Use Google. A 3 piece pack of Durex costs Rs. 50 in India.

They won’t ask you anything. They’ve sold more condoms than you’ll use in your entire life. So worry not, go ask and come back. It’s business as usual. Nothing to be shy about. That chemist has a million other things to worry about, your sex life isn’t one of them.

Last and the least, if you are still shying away do the thing men are notorious for. Be proud of it – first you are getting laid! W0ot! Second you’re being responsible and playing safe!

PS: I personally avoid getting in stores when some elderly people or ladies are on counter. Something cultural Can be awkward, but suit yourself.