"Monster?!?! Maddie
isn't a monster!" said Zack, "Stewie on the other hand..."

Meanwhile upstairs,
Stewie is coloring inside a coloring book when Maddie walks into the
room.

"Stewie, we need to
talk," said Maddie.

"About what?"
asked Stewie.

"It's about Jeff,
from preschool," said Maddie, "Remember when he went
missing after he tried to steal your backpack?"

"Yes, what about
him?"

"Well I found one of
his fingers in your toy box," said Maddie, "Care to
explain?"

"Those aren't
fingers," said Stewie, "Those are... Blast! What the devil
are those called again? Hotdogs! Yes, hotdogs!"

"Hotdogs... With
joints..." said Maddie.

"Yes, of course,"
said Stewie.

"Okay, just making
sure," said Maddie as she waked away.

Back downstairs...

"I don't know,"
said Lois, "Meg's pregnancy with Maddie was unplanned. I mean,
you both are pretty young and I'm not sure you're ready to handle
another child."

"Yeah, I think it's a
worse idea than the time I ran my own bulletproof vest shop,"
said Peter.

Flashback

Peter is speaking with an
unsure customer, trying to convince him to buy a vest.

"Are you sure these
things work?" he asked.

"!00 guaranteed,"
said Peter, "I'm wearing one right now and to prove that they
work, my associate, Glen Quagmire here will shoot me in the chest.
Ready?"

"Ready!" said
Quagmire as he cocked his gun and shot Peter multiple times. Peter is
still standing, looking relatively unharmed.

"Wow, they really do
work!" said the customer.

"Peter!" shouted
Cleveland as he ran up to him, "You forgot to put on the vest!"

"Really?" asked
Peter as he lifted his shirt and noticed multiple red bleeding
circles, "Yeah... I suppose I did. The bullets are probably
lodged in my fat... Be a pal and call some hospitals, Cleveland."

End Flashback

Maddie then walks into
the living room wondering what everybody's talking about.

"Save your breath,"
said Maddie, "Because there's no air where you're going."

After the countdown is
done, Olivia and Connie scream as they are shot upwards to their
impending doom.

End Imagination.

"...Nah! I'd rather
have a pony," said Maddie.

"Well your father and
I have decided that we're going to have another baby," said Meg.

"WHAT?!?!"
shouted Maddie.

"That's right kiddo,"
said Zack, "You're going to have a baby brother... or sister...
or both if it's twins... or a brother AND sister... or three brothers
if they're triplets... or three sisters... or a sister and 2
brothers... or maybe even quintuplets... Well enjoy your space while
it lasts."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!"
screamed Maddie as she ran upstairs.

"Aw, look," said
Zack, "She's screaming with excitement."

"Are you sure you
want to do this?" asked Lois, "I mean, Zack doesn't even
have a job anymore."

"I've got it,"
said Peter, "I can try to get you a job at the brewery."

"Wow, because nothing
says good male role model than a father who works at a place that
produces a product that produces abusive male husbands and child
beaters," said Zack.

"...So I take that as
a no?" said Peter.

"Hell no! I need the
money!" said Zack.

"You guys don't need
another baby," said Brian, "The world's already
overpopulated as it is with people unnecessarily having children."

"If lazy jackasses
can have kids to mooch off welfare, why is it wrong for me and my
wife to have a kid to actually love?" asked Zack.

"It doesn't matter,"
said Brian, "It's still overpopulating and Meg's still a
teenager."

"...Shut up,"
said Zack.

Maddie quickly bursts
through the door of her room, still screaming and running around in a
circle.

"They won't let me
work with the beer," said Zack "So I'm stuck working in the
same office as Peter. What kinds of stupid rule is it that won't let
a 20 year old work in the actual brewery."

"The law," said
Brian.

"Sure, take their
side why don't you," said Zack, "And what smells like
barf?"

"Yeah, that's so NOT
cute," said Peter.

"I'm gone," said
Maddie as she walked away in shame in her kitty costume.

"So what did the test
say?" asked Zack.

"Negative," said
Meg.

"Oh well. We'll just
have to try again tonight," said Zack.

"Crap!" said
Maddie as she ran to her room, "Being cute didn't work! What
else should I do?"

"You could try
convincing them not to have another baby," said Stewie.

"How?"

"I don't know! Lie to
them," said Stewie.

"I'll give it a
shot," she said as she ran back downstairs.

She rushes downstairs to
Zack and Meg who were making out.

"Zack, I'm not sure
if I'm comfortable with this," said Meg.

"Why not?" asked
Zack.

"Well, for starters
everybody else is still here," she said.

"Yeah, and we're not
too comfortable with the idea of you making love in front of us,
either," said Chris, "But it's good to see that you're
trying to liven up your sex life a bit."

"Mom! Dad!" said
Maddie as she ran into the room, "I've got this story to tell
you."

"Let's hear it,"
said Zack.

"You see, I have this
friend," said Maddie, "And her parents once had a baby and
he was deformed and when he turned 9, he went insane and then
slaughtered everybody in the house and stuff. And that's why you
shouldn't have a baby. There, I saved your lives!"

"Wait a minute,"
said Meg, "How does your friend know about this if he
slaughtered everybody?"

"Yeah," said
Zack, "Shouldn't she be dead, too?"

"Unless...,"
said Peter, "Your friend... is a ZOMBIE!!!"

"..." Zack looks
at in silence, "Peter, shut up."

"Time for plan C,"thought Maddie, "I
didn't want to do this but it's a surefire way to stop this from
happening."

"Daddy...," said
Maddie as she looked at Zack innocently.

"Yes, pumpkin?"
asked Zack.

Out of nowhere, Maddie
headbutts Zack in the balls causing him to crumple to ground in pain.

"Oh! Right in the
daddies!" laughed Peter.

"Crap! There goes
another pair of good pants!" shouted Zack.

"Yes! Direct hit!"
said Maddie.

"Madeline Mary Ann
Murdock! What the hell is wrong with you?!?!" asked Meg.

"Go to your room
right now!" shouted Zack in a squeaky effeminate voice.

Peter, Chris, Brian, and
Lois laugh their asses off.

"He sounds like one
of those chipmunks," said Chris, "You know, the ones who
hang out with that pervy Dave dude!"

"Shut up!" said
Zack in the squeaky voice, "All of you shut up! It's not funny!"

"Let's just get you
an ice pack," said Lois as she and the others helped Zack into
the kitchen leaving Maddie and Brian alone.

"Mission
accomplished!" said Maddie, "I will now officially be
sibling free!"

"What do you mean?"
asked Maddie, "Did you see that blow to the groin?"

"I'd make a witty
incest joke from that poor choice of words, but I don't feel like
it," said Brian, "Your dad's going to heal eventually and
they're going to keep trying. You can't keep kicking him in the nuts
forever."

"What am I going to
do?" asked Maddie, "I love being an only child! I don't
want to share!"

"Well, you could
always run away and join the circus," joked Brian, "But
seriously, you should just embrace the fact that you may have a
younger brother or sister. You'll have somebody younger to teach new
things to and to play with."

Later that night inside
Maddie's crib, she tosses and turns frequently. After waking up, she
climbs from out of her crib and walks towards Meg's room.

"Mom?" she asked
as she opened the door a crack. She saw her parents lying in bed. Her
father was still in pain.

"Are you sure you're
alright?" asked Meg.

"I'll live. I just
hope our next kid won't be as much of a handful as Maddie,"
joked Zack.

"Wonder what he meant
by that?" Maddie worriedly asked. She then noticed that Peter
and Lois' room was opened a crack. She decides to eavesdrop on them.

"I still don't know
if they should be doing this," said Lois.

"Me neither,"
said Peter, "But wouldn't it be awesome if they had a son,
though?"

"What do you mean?"
asked Lois.

"I mean, I'd want a
son," said Peter, "Even though he doesn't say it, I'm SURE
he's actually disappointed that he had Maddie."

"Don't talk like
that," said Lois, "It's not true."

"I mean why else does
he want another baby?" asked Peter, "After he met Cody, he
probably just wants to try for a son of his own. I don't know how he
could even stand having a daughter. I know I don't."

"Is THAT why they
want another baby?" asked Maddie as her eyes began to tear up.

"Well, you could
always run away and join the circus," joked Brian. After
remembering those words, she quickly runs back into her room.

Stewie begins to wake up
and sees a crying Maddie putting things into her backpack.

"Maddie? What the
deuce are you doing?" asked Stewie, "And why are you
crying?"

"I'm not wanted
here," she whimpered, "That's why I'm leaving."

"Leaving to where?"
asked Stewie.

"I'm running away to
join the circus!" she said as she was packing her things into
her backpack, "I'm only packing the essentials, so help me fit
this TV and DVD player in here."

"Running away?"
asked Stewie, "You mean you're not going to embrace the fact of
having a younger sibling?"

"Did YOU embrace the
possibility?" asked Maddie.

Flashback

From the scene where
Stewie is standing in his sandbox from the episode where he met
Bertram.

"With god as my
witness, I shall see to it that my parents never conceive!" said
Stewie.

End Flashback

"Why of course,"
lied Stewie.

"Well, I won't,"
said Maddie, "Just tell everybody I said goodbye."

"I can't let you
leave," said Stewie, "I'm coming with you."

"Really?" asked
Maddie.

"Of course. I've
always wanted to live the life of a carnie," said Stewie, "It
should be more fun than the time we fought the Persian Empire."

Flashback

Stewie
is holding a sword in front of a Persian messenger whose back is
facing a giant hole.

"Earth and water,
said Stewie, "You'll find plenty of both down there."

"No man, Persian or
Greek, threatens a messenger!" said the Persian messenger.