Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Bully For Us! Ruining America One Bike Lane at a Time

Well, I've received a press release form the inventor informing me that they've finished the first production model--or, more specifically, they've finished making a picture of the first production model with a computer:

July 10, 2014, Fair Oaks, CA. Flying Rider announced today that the Computer Aided Design of its first production model is complete. (Rendering shown below.) Two potential fabricators have bid to produce the frame and others are expected. David Schwartz, designer of the novel vehicle said, “The first proposal we received was for a carbon fiber reinforced plastic frame. The second was for T6061 aluminum tubing construction. The all steel proof-of-concept bike, which weighs 28 pounds is too heavy to be acceptable. We’re aiming for a 17 pound machine tough enough to commute on.”

I'm pretty confident that this is the first bicycle in the world to employ both Computer Aided Design and "suicide" brake levers:

Also, he says the reaction to the concept has been "mostly positive:"

Public reaction to the no-seat concept has been mostly positive. Many have expressed eagerness to try it out for themselves. However, some see no need to tinker with the basic diamond frame design – now 130 years old and well-proven. “No doubt, this new design isn’t for everyone,” noted Schwartz, “but lots of people have told me they look forward to the extra efficiency and are anticipating the thrill of a hang glider-like ‘flying’ experience.”

The problem isn't that he's tinkering with the "basic diamond frame design." The problem is that it's already been tinkered with, and that an alternative to it already exists in the form of a recumbent--and if you want a hang glider-like "flying" experience you can always get one of these:

I have to hand it to the bicyclists in the D.C. area. They’ve got more nerve than an L.A. biker gang. And some can be just as nasty.They fight to have bike lanes routed throughout the city, some in front of churches where elderly parishioners used to park their cars. They slow-pedal those three-wheel rickshaws through downtown during rush hour, laughing at motorists who want them to get out of the way.

So cyclists can't ride past churches now? Are you kidding me? Presumably though it's still okay for the churchgoers to double-park and block traffic all day Sunday while they play make-believe, because if "God" wanted people to walk to church He wouldn't have created SUVs.

Not only that, but the cyclists also want...an escalator!

Now, some of them are pushing to have a “bicycle escalator” installed on 15th Street NW, going uphill from V Street to what used to be known as Malcolm X Park (until influential newcomers to the city pressed to get it changed back to Meridian Hill).

Moving stairs are the devil's work, everybody knows that.

And worst of all, these cyclists have the audacity to stop at red lights!

Bikers routinely worm their way to the front of a line of cars waiting at a red light. When the light turns green, they’ll poke along at a snail’s pace, holding up traffic while motorists wait for a chance to pass. Then they do the same thing at the next stop light.
This is a cunning twist, because most anti-cycling editorials hinge on cyclists not stopping at red lights.

But all of this is just a flimsy pretext for what's really bothering him, which is gentrification:

I recall in the not-so-distant past when the city’s bikers weren’t newly arrived, mostly white millennials but black juveniles whom D.C. police frequently stopped — at least in neighborhoods that were being gentrified. Stopped for riding on sidewalks. Stopped for riding in parking lots.Now that kids like them are being moved to the outskirts of the city, if not out altogether, the District government is bending over backward to make Washington a more “biker-friendly” city.

This could have been the jumping-off point for something legitimately interesting--after all, it's tough not to notice that by the time the bike lanes come into a neighborhood you can't afford to live there anymore--but instead he devotes precisely 42 words to the subject:

So far, more than 72 miles of bike lanes have been carved out of city streets. There are virtually none in Ward 8, by the way, which has the lowest income and highest number of children of any ward in the city.

This is a very important point, and one well worth exploring, but he does absolutely nothing with it. Also, what is he saying exactly? Does he want bike lanes in the low-income neighborhoods as well, or does he not want any bike lanes anywhere? I have no idea, because he then concludes with some bullshit about the Muppets:

On Wednesday, the Washington Area Bicyclist Association’s Bike Ambassadors will ride to the NoMa Summer Screen viewing of “The Muppets” “to hand out surprise goodies to people who biked.” There’ll be kids and bikes and Muppets, as if Kermit is supposed to make us forget about the biker terrorists out to rule the road.The WABA Web site features a photograph of a cyclist holding a sign that reads:“Dear D.C. drivers, thank you for sharing! Love, Cyclists.”If only they meant it.

Terrorists? Kermit the Frog?!? This article is a total brain shart--a small amount of actual matter, but mostly just a bunch of wind and noise.

Larsen told KCAL9’s Stacey Butler that traffic was bad and every time they passed the truck, the driver blew exhaust at him.“We just kind of passed it off as the guy is frustrated with traffic and he’s taking it out on us,” Larsen said.Miles down the road in Dana Point, Larsen said the driver did it for the fourth time.“I pulled my phone from my back pocket and I turned it to video,” he said.Minutes later, Larsen said the truck pulled up next to him and a female passenger threw bottles of water and Gatorade at him and shouted profanities.

Wouldn't it be ironic if, after all that, they somehow figured out a way to charge the cyclist?

Orange County sheriff's investigators have reviewed Bryan Larsen's video (warning: cyclist utters a profanity) and recommended charges be filed against him and the truck passenger, the department's spokesman Lt. Jeff Hallock said.The passenger may face assault and battery charges, while Larsen could be looking at being charged with "words in public likely to illicit a violent reaction," Hallock said.

Wow. They might as well just change the charge to "operating a vehicle likely to illicit a violent reaction, e.g. a bicycle." After all, this is America, where the victim is always wrong--especially when that victim's on a bike.

Yeah, we're such bullies:

Me: Blue Bike, You: Black Car Hitting Me On My Blue Bike - w4m - 25 (Bedstuy - Bedford Ave)age : 25You sideswiped me while turning into the bike lane, after coasting in an out of it at about ten mph for two blocks with no blinker on. As I tried to get around you, you turned suddenly into the lane and hit me. And then proceeded to yell at me and push me around. "You hit my car with your bike," you shouted. Really?Granted, I was yelling some pretty rude stuff at you but you know what, YOU HIT MY BODY WITH YOUR CAR. I would have called the cops but I didn't feel safe sticking around a moment longer and f*ck the police and I was late for work so I called you something rude and rode away. Not my classiest move but then, I'd just been hit by a car. So I just wanted to say,GET OUT OF THE BIKE LANE, YOU DILLWEED. We are riding there. Minding our own business. Avoiding pot holes and opening car doors. We do not have thousands of pounds of steel protecting us. We are trapped between traffic and parked cars with nowhere to go. You could have killed me. We were both lucky that you didn't. Think about it.

She'd better be careful, she's liable to go to jail for using the word "dillweed."

I'm attaching a set of fire extinguishers to the sides of my bike so I can "coal roll" pedestrians on multi use trails. I'm also starting a kickstarter to help fund a digital bike horn that whistles dixie so I can have the ultimate machine of intimidation.

The effectiveness of your rear derailleur would be improved by the addition of shifters somewhere on the bike. Also, with a single front ring and a 11-15 five-speed freewheel, you might want to consider a shorter derailleur hanger. The 8-incher stolen from a 1985 Muddy Fox may be considered "overkill".

Good spot on the WaPo screed. I just read it this am and am fuming. What really stood out for me, though, was not the usual mix of logical fallacies and rhetorical flimflammery when it comes to urban cycling. That's par for the course with hacks like him. Rather, I was truly taken aback by Milloy's outright suggestion that violence be done to cyclists engaging in what to what he considers offensive behavior.

At one time, Milloy seemed to recognize the need for this dedicated space for bicyclists, as his own 1998 account of biking after his license was suspended for excessive speeding included being caught in the common bicyclist’s catch-22 in which you are welcome on neither the roadway nor the sidewalk, and there is no third option.

Day before yesterdee, I was going south on 2nd Ave approaching 35th Street. The corner of which is obscured by a big wall where construction is going on. A Citibike guy zoomed past me(relatively speaking as I was stopped for the red traffic light).He approached the corner with almost gleeful wreckless abandon and perfectly crashed into a delivery guy (who had the green light right of way). Delivery guy definitely did not see it coming as the wall obstructed view til the very last second, as well for the Citibiker. It was such a perfect head tube to head tube crash. They both instantly went from 15 mph to zero. Both hit the ground at the same time. They both got up and started arguing so I guess they were OK. Should have been filmed in grainy speeded up black and white like in the 1920s, tinny piano music optional. No cars were scratched in the taking place of this incident.

I had to change a flat yesterday evening on Christie and Stanton. It was lovely.

Dillweed is so funny... humorously critiquing the corporate environment and so forth. Sometimes you don't know whether to laugh or cry. I loved his inept boss with the hair that looked like devil horns. Wait, what? Oh. Nevermind.

Road Queen, with all due respect, and yourself excluded, I would bet that the average IQ of NYC resident is about 50 points higher than that of that of the resident of some podunk backwater town (e.g. Keith Maddox). Also, San Diego is not a big city.

It's not that the average intelligence of flyover country inhabitants is lower than NYC, it's that the 1% jerkoids, like the rolling coal and runiminadeetch crowd, lower the average for the rest of us. Like the Snob says, it must hurt to be that stupid.

According to the Twitterer the Snob must be setting up a rolling bike repair shop off wherever he could be. Pumping tires, adjusting seats, now if only he had a way to peddle coffee hats, and books..... The next product could be Dr WCRM/RTMS Scranus Zorching Cream.

I've been following Snob around the city too, Bama. What a good snobaritan he's been. Pumping tires, tightening seat posts, helping little old ladies out of hemis parked in bike lanes.....I think we'll be hearing about it tomorrow. Probably at 6:30 am.

Now I know y'all are switched on n'everything, but in case you hadn't noticed, a dick is a GOOD thing! I love dicks. They're beautiful. Just like cunts. Mine is my favourite thing, and it is especially happy when it gets together with Dick.

It's one of the best ways to find Heaven on Earth, that... hadn't you noticed?!?

The stereotype that follows rural folk is just as accurate as every other stereotype out there.....they're usually not true.

Lifestyle does not always determine the I.Q. level of a person, and no, most rural folk are not stupid nor have any lower I.Q. than those who dwell in an apartment.

They do have a different outlook on life, and they know different things than their city brethren. Not better things, not worst things, but different things.

It is only my personal theory that people living and working in close proximity causes emotional distress to those immersed in said cloister, which can and does cause emotional outbursts, overreaction, and desensitizes the sense of empathy towards others. How can it not? That's a lot of damn people to empathize with and be considerate of 24/7.

I should have chosen better wording, as I suppose what I was trying to convey is not that stupidity is as much of the problem (although, the percentage being the same as in rural areas, is bound to indicate that there are more individuals in the city due to the higher overall population per square mile), but a numbing of the emotion which causes considerate, pleasant, polite behavior.

In the first line: "peddle-by shooting." Translation: this is two dum fore yew to reed.

While I'm at it can I register my protest at everybody thinking the word jewelry is pronounced JEW-luh-ree? No, it's fucking JULE-ree also known as JEWEL-ree or if you prefer, IT'S RIGHT THERE IN THE FUCKING WORD, JEWEL, RY. You fuckin usherin in the dark age motherfuckers!

I can't utter motherfucker what about fatherfucker? Pardon Me= FUCK YOU!!:Blue Toyota reversing without yielding of a driveway facing a major highway, then when out of their way to haunt me down 2KM later to veer into the tiny shoulder/bike route where I was riding,& swerve mere millimeters into me to taunt & spook the air from within me! Piggies don't care what a news flash! If I wanted to vent I would have talked to a maple tree; I would tap it for sweet vegan syrup, not call the piggies! If only I could remember plates more efficiently! Best regards- onyx road bike cycle bicycle

have to agree. I was born in Brooklyn but won't go back voluntarily even to meet snobbie. I did go there a couple times when little peaches lived there but she gone portlandian now.

Not exactly in flyover now but I do get to smell the manure which in my mind is preferable to the oil refineries and car exhaust. BTW I don't find skunk so bad either but then I've only been privy to the aftermath and never been sprayed myself.

Although I don't bike tour as much anymore, my experience is that the country has both the nicest people and biggest dirtbags. But then so does the city.

And today's Tour stage was easily the most impressive and hellish stage of any race I have ever seen. Hats off to Boom and Nibali and frankly to every damn rider that rode that. I could not have ridden it with two hot IV bags of A+ Lance blood dope, a shot of shark testosterone and a jet fuel back pack.

Stupidity can be benign, as when it removes the infected person altogether - like the recent contestant in a hotdog-eating contest who choked to death. But more often it is malignant and metastatic, as when stupid ideas infect masses of people who have no immunity to them, and they start thinking that hotdog-eating contests are cool, and so is running over cyclists, etc. And Hitler - let's drag him in by all means.

Some guy named Roland Barthes said, and it can't be repeated too often: "Stupidity is the most powerful force in the universe, because there's no answer to it."

Jesus Christ! A person chucks a full bottle of Gatorade and it hits you, and you swear, and a huge truck tries to run you off the road and blows coal in your face, and a grand jury doesn't indict? And now the victim may be charged for free speech?! WTF???

What a fortuitous coincidence - I was just planning a trip to Hyderabad, and I had no idea as to how to track down some classy escorts to adorn my tuxedo-clad arm as I attend all those tedious state dinners that I must go to. Thanks, "Rathod"!

And when I attend these dinners I am often partial to salmon poached in a fine white wine and sprinkled with a bit of fresh dillweed.

Rolling coal is bad I just got busted doing it to some cyiciest two were actually off duty cops and they caught up to me and long story short I was in cuffs supper fast truck was impounded and tons of tickets now I'm on a bike biking with them bike shorts

Does he want bike lanes in the low-income neighborhoods as well, or does he not want any bike lanes anywhere? I have no idea, because he then concludes with some complicated thing?valet parking gatwick

About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!