The Senate’s Gang of Eight to Pitch Immigration Plan

John McCain: gangmember., The Senate’s Gang of Eight to Pitch Immigration Plan

The legislative branch of government continues its unexpected productivity streak this week with a new immigration proposal. Eight senators—including Republicans Marco Rubio, John McCain, and Lindsey “Oh, Is John McCain Doing This? I Want to Do It Too” Graham; and Democrats Robert Menendez, Dick Durbin, and Chuck Schumer—drafted the pitch and will present details to the public later today. Politico, being Politico, has a sneak peek. The plan would. . .

seek to overhaul the legal immigration system as well as create a pathway to citizenship for the nation’s roughly 11 million illegal immigrants. But establishing that pathway would depend on whether the U.S. first implements stricter border enforcement measures and new rules ensuring immigrants have left the country in compliance with their visas. Young people brought to the country as children illegally and seasonal agriculture industry workers would be given a faster path to citizenship.

Specifics at this point are somewhat limited: “stricter border enforcement measure” means more law-enforcement vehicles cruising the Mexican border. The “pathway” involves a background check, mandatory English classes, and no access to federal benefits in the meantime. Another important detail: “The proposal insists that those who have entered the country illegally would not get preferential treatment over legal immigrants playing by the rules.”

Don’t get too excited/irate: there are significant hurdles to the proposal’s implementation. The plan must impress both Barack Obama and the House Republicans, the Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul of governmental entities, respectively. Wait, what? You want us to. . . use The Voice metaphors instead? It’s morenow? O.K., sure, yes. [Clears throat.] There are significant hurdles to its implementation: it must impress both Barack Obama and the House Republicans, the Adam Levine and. . . some stubborn, ineffectual Voice executive producer, we guess?, of governmental entities, respectively.