Extreme Brain Damage by Andrew Mayne

4 umbrellas, one bag and a thick skull.

Place a paper bag over your head and the fun begins. First you jab an umbrella straight into your right ear and out the other side. Next you do the same with your left ear. Then you jab an umbrella straight up your nose and out the back of your head. Finally you impale your head like a skewer. Oddly enough, still alive, you remove the umbrellas one by one and show yourself unharmed.