Friday, 6 January 2017

Learning to Accept Yourself: A Reflection on 2016

After the most amazing 2015 I could ever have imagined in my wildest dreams 2016 was a bit of a 'meh' year. It was spent mostly working or in the library, not quite knowing what to do with myself or where I was wanting to go in life. Globally and politically things also got rather bleak and depressing. However, I believe that it has also been a massive learning curve for me and I've met some amazing people so it hasn't been all bad. Let's recap on how I finally learned to accept myself in 2016...
I spent the first half of the year feeling completely lost. I had just returned from one of the most amazing experiences of my life in Lisbon with some incredible friends and coming home just made me feel flat. I wasn't having as much fun, I definitely didn't feel as confident in myself and I was under immense pressure to do well in my exams. I stopped seeing my friends as much, stopped working out, and I had very little money as a result of quitting my job to focus on my studies. It was also a year where people around me were constantly achieving things...my brother, my friends, my blogger buddies and at a time when my life had come to a standstill this made me more depressed.

For the first time in a long time I felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown. I wasn't sleeping. I lost about half a stone in weight. I almost failed to give a presentation in university because I felt so nervous I thought I would be sick. My mum started suffering from poor health. I stopped enjoying blogging and stopped interacting with the blogger community. I saw my boyfriend once in a period of ten days. It was probably the most lost I've ever felt since I've been a teenager.

BUT looking back I actually did find some happiness. I went on two amazing holidays and saw three or four new beautiful places. Despite the immense stress I managed to absolutely smash my exams. I got a first class award for the first part of my dissertation. I opened a savings account and began to sort out some of my finances. I became much more organised. I was a lot closer to my family and got closer to my Lewis' family too. I guess in a lot of ways I grew up. I stopped trying to please everyone and started thinking only about those who matter. I developed a new found love for photography and took my camera everywhere with me.

2016 might have been hard but I overcame a lot of obstacles and I feel much better about the year ahead of me. I'm ready to take everything as it comes and have an absolute ball doing so. There are so many things in store for me this year and although its a little overwhelming to think about it right now I am definitely ready for it. I'm so glad I have fallen in love with blogging again and I can't wait to see what happens with my little space on the internet in 2017! Is anyone else on the same page? WE CAN DO THIS!

What are your 2017 goals? Did you have a particularly testing year this year?