It's the world viewed by an irrational recovering depressive chef who's kinda smart and sometimes humorous, neurotic, with a bit of anxiety.

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Naked Feelings

I haven’t felt like writing lately as followers of this goofy blog probably noticed. The truth is that I haven’t felt like doing much in recent weeks.

Depression, anxiety, and self-doubt are not cured by taking antidepressants. Symptoms can be controlled, but without therapy these mental disorders are not going to be minimized for too long. I had a therapist, but I got tired of his dozing off during my sessions. I know my life’s not overly exciting, but a little enthusiasm for the $110 per hour would be nice. Perhaps if I threw in “I had sex with the neighbor’s dog yesterday” when I noticed his eyes at half-mast, he would have shown more interest in what I was saying.

The other issue I cannot seem to get away from is alcohol. I can quit for a few weeks or so, but I always find myself justifying having a glass of wine or being convinced I’ve earned a cold beer. Then comes whiskey.

So, I need another therapist, ideally one with a good background in alcohol related issues. I cannot quit on my own, so it’s time for professional help.

I often (sometimes too openly) write what I’m thinking, and sometimes what I’m feeling. I’ve concluded that it’s too much of the former and not enough of the latter. While writing a blog is geared to what you’re thinking concerning a specific subject, I’d prefer my writing to have a little more life than it has had lately. I can be spiteful and tend to hold grudges which creeps into my posts needlessly. I certainly don’t apologize for it, but the truth is it does me no good and keeps me from moving forward. So, aside from my snippets and wandering style of writing, I’ll keep my focus on topics that are more interesting and more thoughtful. For me, not you. I think you’ll like it better.

Try to convince me that there’s a better cereal than Golden Grahams.

I’m really going to try avoiding politics on Facebook. Comments on my posts sometimes remind me of someone taking an exam in college when they have little to no grasp of the subject, and write everything they can think of hoping to answer the question somehow. Mostly it gives the professor needless reading and showed that they have a lot to say, just not about the topic at hand.

Man, I blew that one yesterday.

I’m likely not to change anyone’s mind, and political posts are simply a way for us to gain affirmation rather than spread information. It’s tough though because Trump is such an asshole and the prominent Republicans are cowards.

Having empathy and compassion does not make you a snowflake or even a liberal. Having empathy and compassion makes you a human being.

You know those Christian values the religious right fails to recognize.

A hamburger is made from ground beef. Preferably a good quality blend of different cuts.

Hamburgers are not made from plants. Salads are made from plants.

The balsamic drizzle must stop across the board.

Bad versions kill the good versions.

A woman at just ahead of me at Healthy Living spent way too much time explaining each item purchase das it related to Pinterest. The cashier was fully engaged which made the situation even more annoying. I like HL, I can find great stuff to work around Stella’s dairy allergy, and I can find things not available other places like the goat’s milk yogurt I use for making labneh.

Boxed penne night.

I’m trying to be nice, but it’s not always easy for me.

Keeping it positive

Excuses and reasons are not the same.

Saratoga Chefs and restaurateurs let’s work together to make Saratoga the dining destination it can be. Aside from my project (explained in my next post), there are some nice things happening. Mike and Michelle Spain will be opening Seneca, the restaurants at The Adelphi are finally hitting their stride with a lot of talented chefs on staff, Flatbread Social is adding to the pizza game, Boca is getting interesting for a change, and Saratoga’s Broadway Deli is offering the best bagels in town, as well as excellent sandwiches. Saratoga also has Osteria Danny, Hamlet and Ghost, and 15 Church as established favorites. Sounds like a god core to start with. That We need some diversity, and I hope my Mediterranean flavors will help fill a void. Some Caribbean/Jamaican, Korean, and (good) Chinese or Japanese would be great. Ethiopian might be too much to ask for, how do we lure an Ethiopian chef to Saratoga?

We have enough hamburgers, tacos, and pasta with canned artichokes, sundried tomatoes, and olives in a white wine butter sauce. Is Saratoga a crab cakes and shrimp cocktail kind of town or can we do better?

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2 thoughts on “Naked Feelings”

To get a mediocre therapist’s attention, you have to specify which breed of dog you had sex with. I am wondering if Mike Spain is the same Mike Spain of newspaper fame and who formerly worked at NYS Dept of Social Services in the 80’s.
Write down your dreams if you can remember them. If you have a dream that stands out, keep turning it over like a pebble in your hand, something will come of it.