Guilt-Riddled Algebra

Guilt resulting from coffee being too good, so I’ve had too much of it and it’s only 11:00 AM, and now I’m afraid to talk to anyone because I’m a lunatic + Guilt from scheduling a meeting at 2:30 PM because apparently, I’m a monster who loves the dead-zone = Guilt from spending an extra $100 I didn’t really have on drinks for everyone after work, to apologize for snapping at them all due to the poorly timed meeting we had at 2:30 PM.

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(Classic mom guilt + Guilt from using guilt on my family the way my parents used to) ÷ The guilt ingrained in me from having an Italian dad = Impulsive-shopping-to-ease-the-pain-from-my-guilt guilt.

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Guilt from cringing at the behavior of white people all the time ^ Guilt from feeling like all of my problems are a cliché and I should be grateful I have so much as it is >= Guilt from the realization: Oh shit, I hate my own race.

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(Student loan guilt + Guilt from spending all our money on food) × Guilt from trying to be a writer instead of being interested in more lucrative professions = Guilt due to yelling at the innocent guy making my sandwich at the lunch counter who did nothing wrong but told me that toppings cost extra.

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Guilt from being too selfish sometimes because I am an only child + The guilt from realizing I had an entire debate in my head and I still somehow feel that I lost the argument = Guilt from spending way too much time with good ol’ self-loathing.

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Guilt from not devoting enough time to following my dreams ^ Guilt from spending all my free time on Reddit = Guilt from wondering how five years flew by.

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(Guilt from being spoiled as a child, so always wanting to be spoiled as an adult, but not being able to afford to spoil myself + Guilt from buying cheap crap that will break instantly but I bought it anyways) × I went to Target to buy one thing guilt = Guilt from wasting another Saturday.

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(Guilt from procrastination cleaning instead of working when my deadline is looming + I haven’t visited grandma in a while guilt) − Guilt from being way too good at manipulation instead of actually working = Guilt from perpetuating the vicious cycle of staying up all night to finish my article and being grumpy with everyone the next day.

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Guilt from the thought that my socioeconomic status indicates that I shouldn’t complain about not being able to splurge on things for myself × Guilt from feeling like I should try harder to fit in when it seems like all the women I know wear lululemon clothes, have yoga class memberships, and coach bags and I’m trying to make friends with people in my mid-thirties = Guilt from spending $200 on a friend’s birthday steakhouse dinner when I really just wanted to stay home and watch Stranger Things again.