Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Making it Fair

My sister, Kiki, just left with her kids and husband. I had 2 of her kids for a few days while she took Cyr. It was a nice break for Cyr. She and Sanna slept until 2PM one day. We enjoyed having the girls here, as always. I miss them so much and only get to see them occasionally. It was like a tornado hit my house this week. It was messier than usual and the kitchen floor is so bad that my BIL's feet stuck to it. Gross!

I snuck out this morning to hit the local thrift shop. Four times a year they have 50% off and I load up. Patches is gaining weight steadily and in 2 years has gone from a girls size 10 to a misses 6. It is a hard size to buy for a 12 yr old. Everything looks too mature and the jr sizes are too sexy. Everything is 10 inches too long. The tops are easier but getting her to wear the right size tshirt is hard, too. She has no sense of style or cares what she looks like. I force Cyr to try and help her but she tends to try things on her own most days le4aving her to look homeless. Her poor hair is a story for another day. So today I purchased a new wardrobe for her. She got 7 or 8 new pairs of jeans and 10-12 new shirts. All fit her the best we are going to and look great. I sat with her and showed her what goes with what and hope she remembers. Most shirts were $.60-1.15 and the pants were $1.15-2.15 for name brands like American Eagle Outfitters, Express, Areopostale, and Holster. Amazing deals on the cutest clothes.

Tomorrow we are going to take the kids bowling. We haven't taken them before and we are hoping it is something even Ella can do. They wanted to go skating but Ella gets too upset because her feet turn in so much and they trip her. Emma will be at her Mother's with all 3 sisters so she won't be joining us. Neither will Rosa and her kids for that matter. My kids have been getting upset because her children get to do a lot. They go with their Father, Rosa takes them out to do family things and lets them all sleep with her on the weekends, they have a Grandfather that comes every couple of months, and they have had 2 vacations in the last year. I think it is great for them but it sucks for my kids. We are broke from taking care of an entire additional family and don't have any extra money for activities. How do you explain that to a sobbing 7 or 8 yr old? All they see are the extra presents and special evenings watching movies or going places. I promised them to do things with just them again. We will be making an effort to separate things up a bit without leaving Rosa and her kids out of everything. It's a very fine line to walk. I don't want anyone to have hurt feelings but I need to let my younger kids have fun, too.

It's good to have Cyr home, she hasn't set the phone down yet. LOL My sister said she was a joy to have over, she never complained and behaved wonderfully. It's music to my ears.

...Those prices are amazing enough that I have to comment. Is that usual in America? In the best op shops in Australia that I have been to you pay $3.50 AUD for a good, second-hand shirt. (And these are the best prices at the best op shops.)

Annie, the prices I find there are far below anything I've found anywhere else here for brand names.

Crayon, Cyr is doing really well but we are starting to see normal teen behavior. This holiday vacation she stole $40 from my van. She took it shopping with Rosa and claimed she found it in the dressing room. Rosa made her turn it into the cashier inst4ad of spending it. Unfortunately, the when I called to get MY money back, they have no record of any being turned in and Rosa didn't catch a name. As bad as it sounds, it is normal stupid teen stuff. I barely managed to be stern even though I knew I needed to. SHe denied it at first and then sobbed about how awful it felt. I seriously, had to turn my head to hide my smile. I'll take this any day over her previous behaviors.

I can't remember how little your littlest ones are, but when we went bowling they offered us this ramp type thing for our 3yo. He put the ball at the top, gave it a push and it rolled down the ramp! If you give it a decent enough push, it actually makes it down the lane =) The bumpers are always nice, but it wasn't enough for a 3yo. Now when we go we always ask for the ramp! It seems most places have them, but don't bother to mention it. I have a photo if you want to see what I'm talking about, otherwise just try asking. Have fun!

That's wonderful news about Cyr, and I applaud your patience with sitting with Patches and showing her what goes with what. I have a hard time with that, myself!

As for Ella and bowling, she ought to be able to manage. When I bowl, my balance is off enough that it's best for me to sit in a chair and use one of the ramps that they have at most alleys to push the ball down. I hope it goes well,

It must feel "great" to just have normal behaviours to deal with. After what you have been through the last 4 months, I hope this new year brings you peace and lots of happy family memories. I agree about doing stuff with just your kids. They are your priority. Wishing you a blessed New Year!

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About Me

I am the mother of 10 children, 6 are part of a large sibling group we adopted through foster care in 2006, 2 are our grown foster daughters, 2 are from independent infant adoptions in 2001 and 2008. Every one of them have their own issues to work through from Schizo-Affective Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Complex PTSD, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Sensory Integration Dysfunction, ADHD, and Cerebral Palsy. Most of our children have been victims of sexual abuse by a close family member, most acted out sexually or exhibited predatory behaviors. We are currently trying to figure out where the trauma ends and mental illness begins in each of their lives.