Listen to Robert Emmerich introduce "The Big Apple," a hit song from 1937. Music written by Bob and performed by Tommy Dorsey's Clambake Seven with Bob on piano. Lyrics written by Buddy Bernier and sung by Edythe Wright. Audio provided by Dorothy Emmerich.

Google Groups: rec.outdoors.rv-travel
Lousyana
Betty & Bob Thayer
11/7/98
(...)
On a recent trip to Idaho we were told how to cook toilet paper. “Brown it on both sides and throw it in the pot.”

Google Groups: alt.tasteless.jokes
How doy cook toilet paper?
vampeleon
5/10/00
On Tue, 09 May 2000 21:05:54 -0700,
hallucinated:
>How do you cook toilet paper?
>:
>Just brown it on one side and throw it in the pot.

Google BooksLives of Mothers & Daughters:
Growing Up with Alice Munro
By Sheila Munro
New York, NY: Union Square Press
2001
Pg. 113:
“Here’s a recipe = How to cook toilet paper.Answer = Brown on both sides and throw it in the pot.”

Google BooksBig Fat Book of Jokes (Volume 2)
Sweetwater Press
2007
Pg. 559:
Q: How do you cook toilet paper?
A: Brown It on one side and put it in the pot.

Twitter
Debra Harris‏
@wordiva
How do you cook toilet paper? Brown it on one side and throw it in the pot. #iamsixyearsold
11:11 PM - 14 Sep 2009

Reddit—Jokes
How do you cook toilet paper?
submitted January 1, 2016 by Jumpn_shoot_man
You brown it on one side, then throw it in the pot!

Reddit—Jokes
Do you know how to cook toilet paper?
submitted October 3, 2017 by llahlahkje
No, but I do know how to brown it on one side.