The Five Most Triggering Halloween Costumes of 2018

With Halloween nearly upon us, it's time again to talk about costume do's and don'ts. It is imperative that Americans heed the whims of the SJW community while celebrating this festive fall holiday or risk suffering the social embarrassment of committing a politically incorrect costume faux pas.

Good Housekeeping compiled a list of fifteen problematic costumes that they say are not funny and you should never, ever wear.

A few of the costumes on their list really are wildly inappropriate and not funny -- like the burning Twin Towers costume, the "Anne Frank" costume, "anything involving blackface," and of course anything depicting human genitalia. Also, dressing up as dead celebrity zombies is apparently a thing -- and that is gross and very wrong. (Remember when Bill Maher dressed up as Steve Irwin, complete with a bloody stingray barb hanging out of his chest for Halloween 2006, less than two months after Irwin's death? Yeah, that was truly depraved). I've not included these on the list because I know most of us would never consider wearing these truly offensive and obscene costumes.

However, most of the costumes that made their list, while arguably in poor taste, are really in the eye of the beholder. What makes them problematic is they might offend people who love to be offended. Which is why the list of costumes to avoid grows every year and the list of permissible costumes gets smaller.

For instance, the costume police say it's wrong to dress up like a hobo -- a Halloween favorite for decades that made our list last year -- because it makes fun of the homeless. Come on. I suspect if you took a poll, most people would still view hobo costumes as an inoffensive and cost-efficient way to dress up for Halloween. (Most hobos are probably fine with it too.)

The truth is, these PC scolds want to be the arbiters of what we can and can't make fun of. And you know what? It's the job of every patriotic American to tell them to stick it where the sun don't shine.

Once again, as a public service, I've whittled the number down to the top five politically incorrect costumes we should avoid this year if we don't want to trigger the snowflakes and cause a scene on Halloween.

1. Crazy psycho in a straightjacket

Because the risk is just too great that someone who has actually worn a straitghtjacket in a mental institution is actually going to see your costume and be offended?

No, "wearing a straightjacket, as well as any other equipment typically associated with the institutionalization of someone with a mental illness, trivializes how devastating these conditions can be," Good Housekeeping chides.

*Sigh.* I guess if you wear a straightjacket costume for Halloween, that means you and your friends are incapable of taking mental illness seriously, unlike the serious, intelligent, progressive people who always take mental illness seriously and would never dress up in a straightjacket for Halloween. Be shmart and don't dress like a crazy person!

2. Cultural stereotypes

"Cultural appropriation" is a permanent fixture on the Halloween trigger list, so you knew this was coming.

"When someone dresses up as a member of a culture that isn't their own, particularly in an exaggerated or 'humorous' way, it can be hurtful to those who do belong," Good Housekeeping scolds. "Even if it's a beloved Disney character" (hint: Moana).

"When it comes to disrespecting women, this costume is a double whammy of awful. It not only reduces women to sex objects, but it makes a woman's weight into a joke," Good Housekeeping explains. "In the age of body positivity, haven't we grown past this?" (the answer is yes).

Okay but what if the fat suit is for a guy (like the one above). Is it okay then? Aren't we gals supposed to be empowered or something when the roles are reversed?

5. Transphobic costume

"This 'tranny granny' costume was pulled from Walmart after facing a backlash from consumers who pointed out that it mocks and satirizes transgender women — in addition to using a transphobic slur," Good Housekeeping says, meaning "tranny." Oops.

But many retailers still carry the costume, crediting it as a Mrs. Doubtfire-inspired look. That sounds like a stretch...

While this one is especially offensive, any costume intended to insult trans people — such as this Caitlyn Jenner costume from a couple years ago — should be avoided.

When did "tranny" become a slur? It was the perfect catch-all phrase for boomers who can't remember all the different "trans" categories, including transgender, genderqueer, transsexual, transvestite, genderfluid, transitioning, etc. Now we have to worry about getting the various pronouns wrong, which in some areas of the country is actually considered hate speech.

For this reason, unless you don't mind being the focus of negative attention, it's probably best to avoid this costume in mixed company.