The Portland that is NOT in Maine. The unknown town in the middle of nowhere. Where everybody knows everybody and their mom. Where Mr. Miles and Mr. Record Teach High School to unsuspecting students and fail them. Where everybody has worked at either tri-town or dunkin donuts (we have two of them). Where the only thing to do on the weekend is to get drunk, high or both. Where you can travel for 15 minutes before reaching a major road.

'Let's go to Portland, CT !'
"Are you kidding me?! Thats where Mr. Miles teaches Junior English and everyone fails."