The Feminist Rabbi

My definition of feminism is at odds with many. Let the dialogue begin.

I am an Orthodox rabbi and an unapologetic feminist. Admittedly, my understanding of feminism differs from that of many others. “The beginning of wisdom” Socrates wrote, “is the definition of terms,” and here is my definition:

Fem-in-ist: A feminist is one who validates, encourages, and celebrates the feminine tendency. A feminist – male or female – is one who recognizes the prominence of femininity in the family unit, social and commercial relationships, and the development of a modern, moral society.

Traditional Jewish philosophy teaches that God made parallel fields of human experience and desire, the masculine and feminine. The masculine seeks power, the feminine seeks harmony. The masculine is naturally suspicious, seeking to uncover hidden threat; the feminine is naturally trusting, honed to uncover hidden good. The masculine is drawn to the exterior, to bricks and mortar. The feminine is drawn to the interior, beauty and symmetry, the happenings of the soul.

Before my ideological opponents draw their verbal six-shooters, please let me add this caveat. While male and female, in Jewish thought, are absolute fields, men and women are not. Each human being is an amalgamation of masculinity and femininity. Most men have some feminine tendencies and most women own some male qualities. The difference between my feminist friends and me is that I believe the healthy man is mostly male and the healthy woman is mostly female, and they believe… that such is a terrible thing to say.

We are not entirely at odds. They and I agree that some women and men buck the trend and excel in the alternate arena. They and I agree that men who are great nurturers and women who are great hunters should be given a seat at the table – or at the head of the table – if appropriate. They and I agree that the female is diminished when reduced to external beauty and that the male is caustic without nurturing ability. They and I agree that character is more significant than muscle tone, intelligence more attractive than figure, and that a wholesome interior reflects beautifully even on an imperfect facade.

The difference is that by and large, modern feminists seek respect for women in growing masculine tendencies, whereas the traditional feminist gives them respect for expressing their femininity. The modern feminist says that breaking gender norms is breaking a glass ceiling. The traditional feminist says it is an individual’s achievement, unreflective of the greatness of the gender.

And, in citing a growing mound of empirical evidence, the traditionalist may suggest that parading the exceptions as the ideal has weakened primal satisfaction for millions of women and led to unattached, disconnected and discontented women the world over.

One of the key missions of feminism is to address the blight of women not being treated properly by men, of unseemly men leaving the mother of their children for younger women. Their solution is to make women independent of men during their naturally marriage-focused years, and to encourage them to look to matrimony only in their mid-30s, when career skills have been refined and, if needed, they can make a go of it without men.

Yet this movement, chartered to help women, often expends a most innate feminine desire, to be a loving wife and mother.

Traditional feminists address the challenge differently. They encourage women to marry young but to choose inspired men who appreciate providing and protecting, whose relationship with God and position in their community doesn’t allow them to be dishonorable. Instead of encouraging women to be as calculating as men, we encourage them to be as nurturing and discerning as women can be, and to demand decency in the men they consider.

Traditional feminist ideology mirrors the human condition. Man and woman are primed to create life. Man provides the seed and woman nurtures it to reality. Man provides the food and shelter and female builds humanity. Individual natures may vary, individual relationships may differ, but the Judeo-Christian ethos is that co-dependent marriage and co-dependent child rearing is the secret to a wealth of human satisfaction.

My dear mother stayed at home while raising 11 children, and my father worked three jobs to cover the bills. My mom, who has a M.A. in Education, began teaching full-time at a college when her youngest began elementary school. If you asked her today, she would acknowledge her career as a professional achievement, but that being a wife and mother were a much more important celebration of her femininity.

My wife and I are blessed with six children, including three beautiful daughters. We are educating them to use their God-given talents to their fullest. If they are gifted in the sciences, we pray they become doctors, with a strong nurturing aspect. If they are gifted in law, we pray they become lawyers, with a generous caring side. And if, after graduating college, they choose to stay home and raise their children, we will be ever so proud of their wholesome feminine contribution to life, community and goodness in the world.

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 47

(29)
Deborah,
January 15, 2017 10:05 PM

My View On Feminism

I'm a feminist. My concerns are the equal value given to women as human beings in the social, legal and economic sphere. It is vitally important that we all work together, men and women, to ensure that every woman has access to opportunity, but I would agree with the Rabbi; women need to feel they are bringing some moral values and virtues to the world. I really like the philosophy of Jewish teaching on women and the compatibility between the male and female.

(28)
Nancy,
October 14, 2013 12:15 PM

I have two comments to make. First, we need to stop blaming feminism for the ills of society. The problem here is about violence and misogyny. Second, when it comes to raising our children we need to count on the contributions of both the mother AND the father. Please do not blame the problems in America on "those working mothers who just want their fancy cars." Re: Undermining and delegitimizing the basic differences between men and women. No, feminism is not doing that. Advertising is much more of a contributing factor in that arena. Re: Women and modest dress. I am a strong believer in tzniut. However, I do NOT dress modestly because of what other men dictate. I do it because I want to be respected for what I have to say. To a certain extent I appreciate the separation between the genders. However, I will make my own decisions about my own life.

(27)
Susan,
July 23, 2013 6:05 AM

Small quibbles

One quibble with the article is the word "modern" instead of the word "radical". I am a modern feminist, & I agree with you as to the importance of traditional women's roles. Another quibble is that women making themselves financially stable has little to do with "fear of being left for younger women". It has to do with not wanting to need a man for money, but only for love. As far as I can see, women not marrying and having children has as much to do with men not wanting to give up bachelorhood as it does feminism!

(26)
diana,
June 6, 2013 12:16 AM

marriage

Rabbi,I am an attorney and my husband is an engineer. 15 years ago my husband was working on a construction site. He had a terrible accident and since that time has not been able to work. When we got married we decided when we had children I would continue to work part time. Lucky for us that I kept up my skills as an attorney because after the accident I was able to work full time. We kept our house and both our daughters were able to go to college. They are both professionals with good jobs. In this day and age of inflation alot times it takes 2 incomes just to keep a household running. You need to come into the 21st century

(25)
Yehudith Shraga,
May 31, 2013 5:59 AM

Nice messages

There is a very good formula for all the women for all the times, the more financially independent you are, the less vulnerable it let you be. It isn't advised to count and hope you will have a "good" husband, the husband is really good, when he knows that you are the equal partner with him. As for all the domestic problems, there is a good solution, you may always pay this work to be done for you, then your time will be divided between your work and time spent with your family, all the rest may be done by other people if you pay well and treat them nicely, there should be no problems, all the troubles start when the woman is expected to work no less than a man and to do all the work around the house, as if her work is the pleasure time, and cooking, cleaning and taking care of children are just her dream and all these may be done at the same time. Dear women, be realistic and count on yourself when you decide yourself, and if you want something to built with the man, don't be afraid to ask him too !!! and find out if he wishes what you wish, including marrying you at this period of time, having children, as much as you do, and what he is ready to make to insure the mutual wellbeing of both of you, and then decide for yourself, if you are alone or you have a partner and the more you ask the man openly about HIS desires the less "surprises" you will have, do not think what the man wishes! ask him and listen to what he says.

(24)
Sharon,
May 30, 2013 8:27 AM

feminism's contribution

Not so long ago women were completely financially dependent on men. A single woman could not survive and had to accept even unattractive marriage offers. Today a woman can choose to marry and the choice is not one of physical survival. Guaranteeing equal pay for equal work continues to be a goal. Making allowances to enable women to nurture families is also a goal that a healthy society will fulfill.

(23)
ST,
May 29, 2013 2:08 PM

It's hard for me to accept any Orthodox rabbi as a "feminist", considering that Orthodox congregations still prohibit any role by women in the synagogue service. I know many amazing Orthodox women, with extensive learning of Hebrew, Torah, Judaics, etc, who are wives and mothers and leaders outside the home (either work or volunteer), but claim they have no problem that the synagogue service allows them no role aside from simply attending and sitting behind a mechitza. Any rabbi who supports this model cannot really be called a feminist. Regardless of labels, men should support and respect the women in their lives. You don't have to claim to be "feminist" to do that; it's simply being a decent human being.

daniella chaya margolies,
May 30, 2013 9:58 AM

who is more involved?

My conservative female relatives may be able to "participate" in the prayer service, the one time a year that they attend by sitting with their husbands and getting aliyahs to the Torah. But I, and orthodox woman, who sits "behind" (on the other side) of the mechitza prays twice a day, every day, preforms mitvas all day, every day, enjoys an intimate relationship with G-d, and studies and teachesTorah daily. Who is more involved in the Jewish practice? The woman who celebrates her "participation" in the prayer service, or me whose Jewish practice (including prayer) is the pillar of my life? Valuing women only by evaluating their sameness to men is exactly what this article opposes. Rather look at the role that women DO play and appreciate the unique specialness of that. THAT is feminism!

ST,
May 30, 2013 8:48 PM

It's not about sameness, it's about opportunities. I don't mean to be disrespectful to you. It's not an easy topic, but women today have unprecedented opportunities, from the workplace to their marriages, yet the role of women in the synagogue service has not changed one iota in the standard Orthodox synagogue. I grew up going to an Orthodox synagogue, but my family and I now sit together at a Conservative congregation. My daughter is actually much more interested in her Judaic studies and practice than my son, and I can't imagine telling her that her brother can read a haftorah for his bar mitzvah, but she would be relegated to a short d'var torah on a Sunday (as I was).

David,
June 2, 2013 5:06 AM

What's sauce for the goose...

Yet, ST, Orthodox Judaism stipulates that it is incumbent on men to take upon themselves these roles because we (men) are in need of civilizing and sublimating our aggressive natures.
Following your line of logic, women should support and respect the men in their lives and not view them as cavemen.
And yet, none of the "forward-thinking" streams of Judaism recognizes the right of men to take offense at this "disrespect". Only the Orthodox show disrespect to men and women equally.
For example, when we daven at a conservative shul, my wife can be called up for an Aliya, but she is not obligated to where a Kippa (scullcap) while doing so, while it goes without saying that I have to wear both a kippa and a Talis (prayer shawl).
When I once asked our Rabbi why this was so, given Conservative Judaism's obsession with gender equality, she had no response. However, I could see by her expression that she thought that my "lament" was somewhat pathetic.
Which of course it was.
We have become accustomed to the notion of a woman as someone to whom life is unfair. This is a tragedy--primarily for women.
When men are inclined to think that way they are told to grow up and take a long hard look at themselves in the mirror.

Susan,
July 23, 2013 6:00 AM

The heart of Judaism is in the home, not the synagogue

Your cognitive dissonance is caused by your narrow view of Judaism as "something you do in public once a week & on the holidays." If you experienced Judaism as a way of life, you would understand that the most important parts of Judaism are all in the hands of women: kashrus, level of Sabbath observance & family purity laws.
It is you who is not the feminist, here, as you only value women if they do traditionally male roles. The *first* feminists tried to win respect for women's roles, & preached sisterhood. They fell by the wayside when society at large refused to listen. Stop crushing that spirit!

(22)
Samantha,
May 29, 2013 12:51 PM

definitions

When men start to realize that women do not need to be defined by them--even ones by those who would call themselves 'feminist' and then go on (as this author does) to deferentiate between "good" and "bad" feminism, then I for one, will the consider them free of sexist bias and allowed to define themselves as feminist..

(21)
Stephen Dunshea,
May 29, 2013 12:33 AM

A good idea at the time

Having suffered under a feminist mother, I can not give any positive affirmation to your statement of masculine v feminine aspects. My father was abandoned by a woman who was not to be shackled by the traditional, he had to work and raise three children and because he was a man had no support network and was looked down on by all. I have found feminism to be an accepted evil by mysandrist post modern society.

Anonymous,
May 30, 2013 8:50 PM

Being a neglectful parent doesn't make you a feminist

I'm sorry your mother was absent from your life as a child and left your father holding the bag, but that's about feminism. It's about not taking taking responsibility for your family and lack of honor; those are negative traits that can be held by a woman or a man.

(20)
L.S.,
May 28, 2013 5:25 PM

Intersting...

I am a woman who works full time outside my home. I do so not because of any feminist ideology but because I love my work and am good at it and feel it makes a positive contribution to society and because I like the feeling of independence and autonomy. There are MANY women in the frum community and outside of it who have very successfully raised 3 or more children while also attaining a high level of professional success. It isn't easy but it CAN be done and to say otherwise is a myth because the scores of women who have simultaneously done both proves it. If someone wants to be a housewife that's their prerogative but with possibilities of divorce, illness, widowhood, and unemployment, I don't think it's a wise decision. We all want to classify things like divorce or cancer as "other peoples' problems" but it can happen to anyone and I would like to build professional success as my own life insurance policy.

Renée,
May 28, 2013 7:38 PM

This is classical feminism!

Of *course* you are pursuing your career because of "some feminist ideology"! How can you believe--even for a second--that your success in your career, that your option to get a higher education and your aspirations toward "independence and autonomy" aren't related to the goals of feminism?

L.S.,
May 29, 2013 12:28 PM

Really?

Renee: My grandmother who was born in 1919 was a successful career woman with a college degree long before Betty Friedan was even born. I am NOT a feminist because I do not support extreme left wing politics and agendas which are flat out anti-men. I do NOT support abortion on demand, affirmative action for women, and victimology brainwashing (women in America are NOT victims of anything). There is nothing "unfeminine" or "feminist" about my enjoying work outside the home. Truthfully, many housewives are involved in volunteer work or hobbies/social groups OUTSIDE of their home and find fulfillment from these activities. There is nothing in the Torah that says a woman must be in her home 24/7/365 or that she can not enjoy outside pursuits such as hobbies, volunteer work, or even paid employment.

David,
June 2, 2013 5:38 AM

Feminism without the victimology brainwashing would be enough for me.

L.S.,
You remind me of my wife: ambitious, hard-working, successful... and thoroughly uninterested in being shackled to a chip on Feminists try to place on her shoulder.

(19)
abey,
May 28, 2013 3:23 PM

Weather Men or Women it will finally be "Humbleness" that counts to the victory of the Soul, by the Spirit.

(18)
Suzy Baim,
May 28, 2013 9:57 AM

Great message, we women should appreciate who we are the gifts we have. We shouldn't look at what others have but what we have. Men and women, we are all important and contribute in our own way.

(17)
Anonymous,
May 27, 2013 10:09 PM

Nice in Theory

I'm glad it worked for others, but for myself, choosing to stop work to raise and nurture my family left me devestated at divorce. I was devalued and my pension is now below povery level while my ex is a millionaire with stock options and bonuses. We live in a socienty that does not value the contribution women make as homemakers. I'd love to live your version of feminisim, but it's a myth for many of us.

Anonymous,
May 29, 2013 12:32 PM

Sorry

I am deeply sorry for what happened to you. It is, unfortunately, a very common situation that homemakers who have been out of the workplace for 10 years are unable to get reentry and they and the children end up in poverty or at least a much lower standard of living. As I said in a previous comment that was attacked--problems such as divorce, illness, husband unemployment, and other catastrophes happen to ALL kinds of people, good people, bad people, religious people, secular people. etc
Perhaps you should tell your story to younger women so they can learn from your example. I sincerely hope that you can get the financial help you need.

(16)
Anonymous,
May 27, 2013 7:50 PM

What about the rest of us

What a very upperclass view of things this article is. "My mom, who has a M.A. in Education, began teaching full-time at a college when her youngest began elementary school." It seems to me your mother left off being a full time mother at that point which is what many women try to do to escape after one child. This takes away another job from a Jewish man who would then be able to support a wife and child. Judaism is supposed to be about community. This article is about ME ME ME and what is good for ME.

Leah,
May 28, 2013 4:41 PM

Huh?

(15)
Chanie,
May 27, 2013 6:03 PM

somewhat true

The beginning of the article was very affirming for me as a woman. I live in a community where there is a great imbalance between man and woman's honoring; and I liked how you devided feminine and masculine within the person rather than man and woman. I feel that because man's search for power and their inevitable overpowering nature (even just being physically much stronger) has created evil habits in very heimishe communities. I counsel women who relate being beaten at home while their husbands are Talmidei chachomim in bet medrash. Honoring women, children and all that is G-d creation is essential; it is not about feminism. A close friend of mine started to drive and her husband was dismissed from his job in a Yeshiva for it. This is still prevailing in the Jewish community and is a shame. I disagree with the expression of modern feminism. I feel that initially, it started out being a power struggle; and it had to be so in order to balance the energy in the world; similar to the civil war. in the present, the feminist movement is about exactly what you just described in the beginning of the article; women coming out with their wisdom and relational powers; their loyalty and deep intuition (Binah; Hebrew) (my perspective)

(14)
Chayaesther,
May 27, 2013 3:42 PM

Well said, rabbi!

Thank you for this eloquently written article. I can't imagine anyone could disagree wtih these truths, stated so clearly.

(13)
Roberta Fuller,
May 27, 2013 1:39 AM

Rabbi Rosenblatt, I was very happy to read your article.It is definitey important for women to follow their dreams and talents and have a profession. Each person, male or female must be able to have the training to enabling him or her to support themselves and/or their families. We never know what challenges await us!

(12)
Rebecca,
May 27, 2013 1:30 AM

A truly pro-woman feminist perspective!

This is a great article. I can say first hand, that the modern brand of feminism is very anti-woman. It certainly does overlook and even is ashamed of the deepest desires of women to nurture and love and be motherly in many ways, both in careers and in families. Modern feminism idealizes only things that have been seen as masculine, all to prove that women can be 'as good as men'. The irony is that in doing so they show that they really don't believe that feminine qualities are as good a masculine, and so they unintentionally but very harmfully make women feel like they are not as good as men, innately. The traits that women (on average) surpass men in (ie, particularly feminine qualities) are not celebrated and are disdained even. This has done incalculable harm to the psyche of young women who then feel a great insecurity in being a woman as a result. Where are the feminists demanding that women be praised and respected for being mothers, for raising their children to be good citizens, for nurturing and supporting others in deep relationships?

Shoshana - Jerusalem,
May 27, 2013 6:27 PM

Excellent comment

Rebecca, your comment is so true, every word of it. (also comment #9). Added to this is the lack of respect toward women as displayed by the fashion industry, which has turned them into sex objects and because of this, these poor women have been so brainwashed that they don't even have any self-respect anymore, and go along with it. I don't understand how husbands can have so little respect for their wives to let them lower themselves to dress in a way that attracts every man in the street. Most of all I don't understand the women. If you don't want your husband to be enticed by every have-undressed woman in the street, why do you dress in a way that will attract their husbands?

(11)
Anonymous,
May 27, 2013 1:16 AM

alternate traditional feminism definition

Interesting article! An alternative definition of traditional feminism: 1) the recognition that although traditional gender roles are rooted to some degree in human nature and are not inherently suspect, in some cases men, or society in general, can perpetuate social patterns that cause women needless suffering, and 2) the resolution to change or stop these social patterns, as long as doing so is consistent with halacha and a Torah worldview.

(10)
Anonymous,
May 27, 2013 12:02 AM

Maturity should determine marriage age

Whatever the averages or cultural norms or any other generalities, it seems to me dubious at best to maintain as a blanket proposition that women do better to marry young. Considering the enormous variations in maturity, background and personal circumstances, it seems far more reasonable to suggest that women should marry only when they feel ready. If they're young, fine. If they feel they should wait, most likely they should. I can imagine few worse tragedies in life than the woman -- or man -- who discovers too late that she/he has rushed -- or even worse, been rushed -- into marriage unprepared and immature. I was 36 and my wife 34 when we married, and we are happy as can be after 28-plus years. You can bet we're not rushing our two happy, productive daughters in their mid-20s, either. Each of us has a sister who married quite young and whose marriages have been equally successful. My younger brother married in his 40s, and he and his wife are delighted and delightful as well. Feminism today, I believe, should be all about giving women and men full leeway to set their own courses in life. There seems nothing healthy nor Jewish at all to me in pushing someone to get married by a certain age or wheedling, "Why aren't you married yet?" or even more extreme, "You're still single? Let me fix you up, I know just the perfect match." I'd say it's far, far better to tell our children, our friends and each other, "Be sure it's right before you step under that chupah."

(9)
Anonymous,
May 26, 2013 9:44 PM

Thank you

Thank you for this article, my reaction is unusual perhaps, in that although I am a woman, not Jewish , and grew up with the Western idea of feminism, and do have a post grad degree, had a career etc, agree with the author who is an Orthodox Rabbi ! Mainly because I have seen the aftermath of this modern 'feminism' and 'masculinity' which broke up my family of origin, and others. I also agree strongly where the rabbi says about an Orthodox man/masculinity: "whose relationship with God and position in their community doesn't allow them to be dishonorable". Honor is so hard to find in the world of 'modern feminism and masculinity'. It is a very fickle world , if you live in the secular 'modern' life/world. There is no fabric of society , just individuals fending for themselves, and competing. However I am beginning to find a new sense of equilibrium through Judaism. I wish I investigated with more commitment a few decades ago when I was drawn to Judaism but I guess it is not all failure and loss yet. I congratulate the author for saying what needed to be said.

(8)
Lynn,
May 26, 2013 9:13 PM

Modern feminism is not the problem.

I am a modern feminist so I am happy to read that Rabbi Rosenblatt supports his daughters' choices to become doctors, lawyers or stay at home moms. We must not forget however that modern feminism arose out of a world that told women you can not choose a career. You can only be a teacher, nurse, secretary bc you lack the intellect to do more. This was a bitter pill to swallow for women like me who happen to be gifted intellectually. Gifted women do not want to hit a glass ceiling because of their gender. you have no idea how prevalent and soul-crushing it is for gifted women to experience sexual harassment, and even assault and gender discrimination. these are ongoing issues women have to deal with at home, at work, and at school. Modern feminism exists because men denigrate and devalue women. It really does not matter whether that woman has mostly male or mostly feminine characteristics. Unfortunately some modern feminists get confused and denigrate the traditional female roles of wife and mother. This is unacceptable to educated, gifted, modern feminists. Men tend to blame feminism for society's problems. It is not feminism you should blame. It is the violent, misogynistic society men have created that demeans and abuses women. I celebrate women who choose to stay home and raise their children. I also celebrate women who are driven to succeed and push back traditional boundaries. What disgusts me are men and women who abuse and demean women. If you read modern feminist writings you will find for the most part a desire for men and women to respect each other and, more importantly, for women to have a place at the table free from harassment, violence, and discrimination regardless of which path she follows.

Leah,
May 27, 2013 5:31 PM

curious about a sentence in your reply

What do you mean, "push back traditional boundaries?"

(7)
Carol,
May 26, 2013 8:34 PM

I would like to believe that any parent, male or female, would consider family and children as life's crowning achievement. In this modern world, we should focus on tikkun olam both in our careers and at home. Both fathers and mothers should share with our children lessons from our workdays about humanity, responsibility, and doing the right thing. And the time we spend with our children, whether full-time or part-time, must reflect a commitment to these values and above all, to the cohesiveness of the family. Some families function ideally with one stay-at-home parent. Some juggle schedules and outside commitments but still make it work. Let each family work out their own best pattern, and be supportive. Ultimately, we all want the best for our children. But there's no need to put up barriers and glass ceilings. Women in the workplace have made some "feminizing" improvements, and this will continue. Gender roles have a way of working themselves out within each family, without outside pressure and expectations.

(6)
Anonymous,
May 26, 2013 7:06 PM

big bills in raising frum kids

The high cost of day schools and camps make a high wage earning wife almost a necessity unless you are talking about the successful doctors and lawyers, owners of successful businesses. It's cruel to hold out the option of stay at home mom as if it was a choice for most of us.

(5)
joy,
May 26, 2013 7:04 PM

It’s hard to figure out what aspect of this is the most annoying. Is it in the assumption that leadership and creativity out of the home is necessarily masculine? Maybe it’s the assumption that a need for power is a masculine thing and not a human thing. Or the statement that women are naturally trustful and men naturally suspicious (what scientific study did you find that in?). Or maybe it’s the assertion that there are mounds of empirical evidence to back up these assumptions when there is really no evidence at all. It could also be the arrogance of a man assuming with certainty that he knows what all women really innately want - and that all women want to be wives and mothers more than they want anything else. But, I think, mostly it is the warping of language in order to distort the presentation of the rigid dogmatic perspective that feminism as a political movement was a response to - and call it feminism. Socrates didn’t say that every individual gets to redefine words in order to make a manipulative point. Feminism is not about denigrating traditional roles of women, it is about recognizing that both men and women should be able to express their passions, skills and talents without someone else telling them which passions, skills and talents are the ones they’re supposed to have. If your dear mother found that raising 11 children was her primary expression of femininity- that’s really good for her. I’m glad she got to do what she wanted to do. Don’t assume, though, that it’s the only legitimate feminine expression for all women

Anonymous,
May 28, 2013 12:20 AM

I don't believe the article is saying Women don't have brains or skills or great talents. We know that they do. Certain characteristics are genuinely more Masculine like being the hunter, and the woman a nurturer. Modern society has opened up options for the opposite sex to explore their other talents, which is great.
A few things are facts though. One, men can't have babies generally forcing them to go hunt. Two, women want to express certain religious roles that G-d set aside for men because of this very fact.
We shouldn't question G-d's designed roles in Religion since G-d is above us. We also believe that Women are allowed to have careers and successes. The unfortunate thing is, the Women's age range for children is generally a 15-25 year window whereas a career can be forever.
Furthermore, both Men and Women in Judaism are told they are or aren't allowed to have certain passions. Men have much more rules because they are less spiritually refined than women and more raw animalistically so require more structure. Women try to stretch into that world seeing as it being unfair, but rather should see it as a blessing.

(4)
Steven,
May 26, 2013 5:30 PM

Yes, but...

>>If they are gifted in the sciences, we pray they become doctors, with a strong nurturing aspect.

One, the university environment and the competition to succeed are some of the factors that erode a woman's feminine tendencies. Two, it's a conflicting message to say 'go to school and puruse a career' AND 'raising children is the most important and diifficult career.' A woman, like a man, can't do both at once.

(3)
Norman Gelfand,
May 26, 2013 4:11 PM

G-d created humans in G-d's image, male and female G-d created them.

G-d created humans in G-d's image, male and female G-d created them.

To divide the attributes of G-d into male and female is to deny both the unity of G-d and that both male and female are created in G-d's image. Your approach has resulted in the subordination of women in both the secular and religious world. It is wrong. Woman and men have the responsibility to participate fully in the life of their communities to the extent of their individual abilities without artificial gender discrimination.

Thom McCann,
May 26, 2013 7:04 PM

Unequality

Sorry, anatomy is destiny.
Only a woman can carry and bear a child with the help of the man. They can raise them together.

Vlad Seder,
May 27, 2013 5:35 AM

Male and female

Mr. Geldand, before you start use Torah to defy Torah, please at least quote it correctly - it really says "G-d created the human (singular) in His image, in the image of G-d He created him, male and female He created them (plural)." Then, according to Torah, G-d proceeded to separate that singular being compounded of two parts - male and female - into two separate beings - male and female. So it was G-d who divided male and female attributes - do you really have a problem with that? Do you really believe that G-d denied His Own unity by doing that?

Anonymous,
May 27, 2013 5:33 PM

Thank you, Vlad....I was thinking the same thing....

(2)
Yael Lock,
May 26, 2013 3:10 PM

On the mark!

I have often thought about this topic and feel very strongly about it. I would like to add that feminism in its current form minimizes women in its desire to make women like men. And, at the same time, as women become less important in their own right, as they infringe on male territory, men are not respecting them more, but less. Just look at the ads, tv shows, violent crimes against women. Just as blacks should have pride in who they are and work to better themselves and not need to "be white" to feel good about themselves, women should take pride in who they are. The current fem movement also puts a lot of negative pressure on traditional feminists, as men expect women to be major breadwinners, run the home, and raise the kids. There is no suc thing as a superwoman. Every over-busy mom knows that her kids are losing out. This encompassed too many nuances of problems today, but it's only a comment, not an article. Sorry. Glad to get it out.

Shiri,
May 26, 2013 11:54 PM

venting?

Don't be so very concerned about getiing men's respect. They aren't worried abt getiing ours. And don't be afraid to infringe or "their" territory - they love competition ;)

Anonymous,
May 27, 2013 11:56 PM

Comment 12 by Rebecca hits the spot.

(1)
Dan,
May 26, 2013 2:54 PM

It was about time someone said this. Modern feminism has been extremely destructive, as it undermines and delegitimizes the basic differences between men and women.

We have a canistel (or eggfruit) tree our backyard which we’d like to get rid of. We do not eat its fruit, and the fruit and leaves make a constant mess. I haven’t found anyone who is interested in its fruit – even to take it from us for free. I would like to replace it with an orange tree (we live in Miami). Is there any problem doing so?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The Torah actually writes specifically that we may not cut down fruit trees (Deuteronomy 20:19-20). From this the Sages learn a more general principle that one may not purposelessly waste or destroy anything of value – food, good utensils, clothes, etc. (see e.g. Talmud Baba Kama 91b, Shabbat 140b).

The Talmud (Baba Kama 91-92) distinguishes that whenever there is a legitimate reason, one may cut down a fruit tree – if it damages other trees or plants, if it’s not productive and not worth its upkeep, if it’s more valuable for the wood, etc. The commentators include in this dispensation when ones needs the space the tree is growing on (Rosh Baba Kama 8:15).

There is, however, a frightening line in the Talmud there which makes people much more hesitant to rely on the above leniency. Rabbi Chanina stated that his son died young as a punishment for his cutting a fig tree before its time. Thus apart from the legal issue of destroying a productive tree, this law appears to carry with it severe Divine retribution.

Most authorities explain that this punishment is incurred only if a person cuts down a fruit tree without legitimate reason, but there is a minority opinion that it is incurred even if the tree is cut with good reason.

As a result, even in cases where a legitimate reason applies, people generally take an extra precaution of first selling the tree to a non-Jew, and having a non-Jew do the actual cutting. (The entire prohibition does not apply to non-Jews.) Your case is also better in that you are cutting one fruit tree to plant another, more productive one. Even with all of this, it’s preferable, if possible, to leave a part of the original tree intact.

In 1942, Hitler devised a plan for a Museum of Judaism, to remember the dead Jewish religion, culture and people. Millions of Jewish treasures -- Torah scrolls, ritual objects, books and art -- were looted by the Nazis and taken to warehouses. In Czechoslovakia, the objects were taken to the Jewish Museum in Prague, where the Jews themselves were forced to sort, label, and pack the items for use in the Nazi's future museum. After the war, many of these items were recovered, including thousands of Torah scrolls and nearly one million books. These were distributed to Jewish communities worldwide, as a living testimony to the indestructibility of the Jewish people.

One who humiliates another person in public ... even though he may be a scholar and may have done many good deeds, nevertheless loses his portion in the eternal world (Ethics of the Fathers 3:15).

Imagine a situation: you have a fine home, a well-paying job, a comfortable car, and a substantial retirement annuity. If you do a single thoughtless act, you will lose everything you have worked to achieve: home, job, car, and savings. What kind of precautions would you take to avoid even the remotest possibility of incurring such a disaster? Without doubt, you would develop an elaborate system of defenses to assure that this event would never occur.

The Talmud tells us that everything we have worked for during our entire lives can be forfeited in one brief moment of inconsideration: we embarrass another person in public. Perhaps we may say something insulting or make a demeaning gesture. Regardless of how it occurs, the Talmud states that if we cause another person to turn pale because of being humiliated in public, we have committed the equivalent of bloodshed.

Still, we allow our tongues to wag so easily. If we give serious thought to the words of the Talmud, we would exercise the utmost caution in public and be extremely sensitive to other people's feelings, lest an unkind word or degrading gesture deprive us of all our spiritual merits.

Today I shall...

try to be alert and sensitive to other people's feelings and take utmost caution not to cause anyone to feel humiliated.

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