And now, in 2009, the next great leap forward: the DJ-Tech Scratch Mouse, a hitherto unimagined
combination of scratching and computing, available now.

Ever since time immemorial—or at least since Run-D.M.C. came along—humankind has yearned to
scratch records at work, without fear of getting caught. That moment has arrived, thanks to this tiny
mouse—just load up the software, and you're set to begin mixing the ultimate deep-trance punk rock
power ballad—the ideal background music for wooing clients (or "clients").

The real star, though, is the mouse itself. When you plug it in, the buttons light up in a rave-worthy red
and blue. (Go ahead, dim the lights.) And then let your fingers wander over to the assorted
buttons—there are two that let you "loop beats" (you'll figure out what that means soon enough) and a
giant wheel in the middle, perfect for cross-fading between, say, "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" and "Poker
Face."

Of course, if for some reason you have actual work to do, you can also use this as you punch up your expense
reports—in our tests, using this mouse made crunching numbers roughly 3 percent more awesome. Now all
you need is a DJ name…