More questions than answers

Friday

Dec 28, 2012 at 6:00 AM

Jan Gottesman Reflections

Vacation should be a time to clear the mind of the tension and clutter that a typical work-week builds up.

As I prepared for my vacation, rushing to get stories written and pages designed, newspaper staff started receiving word about a school shooting in Connecticut. The thought of a gunman shooting inside a school was horrific, even before we started hearing about death tolls. We looked out our window — at Clinton Elementary School — and obsessed about each detail unfolding.

Then I realized why the town — Newtown, Conn. — sounded so familiar. My family Chanukah party, scheduled for the next day, was in Bethel, Conn., the next town over. We get off the highway in Newtown, a picturesque, quiet little community.

Like every other human that Friday, my brain bounced between horror, grief and the big question: What would I have done if I was there?

Driving through the edge of Newtown the next day, I was surprised how “normal” things were. There were no black ribbons or balloons, no signs proclaiming grief. It could have been any other year, driving through this community to a happy family event.

But it was different. The adults at my family party were definitely more subdued. We caught up with our lives, while speaking in hushed voices about the lives lost. The weather was mild enough to send the children outside to run and play, burning off that energy in a way that would not only be fun for them, but keep them out of the conversations that their parents were not ready for.

One of my cousins, who is raising her family near Toronto, Canada, didn’t know what to tell her 5-year-old, so the adults were careful not to turn on TVs or talk with young ears around.

The vacation week flew by, with Christmas details completed. I won’t say that it was any easier seeing the funerals from Sandy Hook Elementary School, but it had become the fabric of life, in a sad way. There were stories that came out of the tragedy — from hero teachers to Hell’s Angels forming a human barrier to keep mourners shielded from whackos ready to warp their grief – that made the tears in my eyes a mixture of sadness and pride in what humans are capable of when push comes to shove.

Then, one week to the day, a spokesman from the National Rifle Association let loose a load of drivel that made my blood boil.

One week after this unimaginable act, the best this organization could come up with was to blame the lack of guns in schools for this disaster.

My mind reeled. I am not anti-gun. My husband has owned guns for many years. He used to belong to a gun club where he could shoot. He loves the history in the weapons and I accept that. While I have no interest in touching a gun (or being in the same room with one), I don’t think they are evil. People who misuse them are evil.

But how do you take a week to make a statement about this tragedy, just to basically tell people the only way to cure the ills of our society is to arm more people? While the comment was not unusual considering the NRA’s mission, it certainly seemed to be a statement made without an eye to the bigger picture. Does that mean, in light of movie theater and mall shootings, we need to put an armed guard in each of these places? Where do we draw the line? Or is the eye on the bottom line of NRA members more important than what is best for society at large?

There was no sense in his words that the NRA wanted to work with society to find a way to ensure legal guns go to people who deserve to have them and will use them responsibly. There were no words of understanding that an answer needs to be found to make sure the mentally ill have a harder time obtaining weapons of destruction. The words were not about limiting, or educating, or preventing, but about firing back.

The “answer” that hit me in the face was that the government should ensure an armed guard in every school.

We can’t afford enough teachers in the classroom, but we should redirect some of those resources to put armed guards in the schools? And isn’t that just telling our children, already shaken by the news, that schools are not a safe place? And, by all accounts, there was a guard on duty at Columbine, so even a guard cannot necessarily prevent the unthinkable.

Having grown up in a simpler time, it made me sad when schools started having to lock doors and scrutinize the motives of people who came in to help. I can’t imagine walking in to see an armed guard. Is that what our society has come to? Does that mean the whackos have won?

I don’t pretend to have the answers. Obviously, I have just posed more questions.

I understand that enough resources are not being given to help all those suffering through mental illness.

I understand that families coping with these problems are not getting the support they need. I do not understand a mother, knowing her son has a mental illness as severe as the shooter obviously had, making her legally-obtained guns this available in his life. Why were there no red flags sent up before this all boiled over and left so many lives shattered?

There has to be a better way to work together on a solution than accepting that this is the new norm.

Maybe our schools, already secured with locks, need bulletproof glass. Maybe there needs to be safe areas carved into each school. Each of these solutions costs money that local communities cannot afford.

However, the first step is a real, bipartisan conversation to outline not only what the problem is, but what the solution must be. And, then, what political “pork” can be cut to pay for these programs. The solution involves bringing politicians, parents, educators and — yes — the NRA to the table for real solutions, not sound bites.

Jan Gottesman is managing editor of The Banner. She can be reached at bannews@yahoo.com.