Take a minute to consider what your relationship to exercise is founded
on.

Why are you in this relationship to begin with? Your weight? Long-term
health benefits? Beacause you have to
exercise (everyone else is doing it)? Does the doctor (or your mother) say you
should? Scrap that.

As with all relationships, the clue to real love (getting to the point where you “miss” it when you are
not together), is enjoying spending
time together. You need to learn to enjoy movement for movement’s sake, for the
pure joy of feeling your body moving.

Stop
thinking about what it could do for you long term:What does it do for you now?

Do you feel happy after moving your body? Limber & looser?
Freer? More powerful? Does it clear your mind and your worries for a while? Is
the world a better place after spending some time with your moving body?

If all you focus on is the long-term benefits, and you can’t see
what it is already doing for you today, you will take all the joy out of your
relationship. Start living your
relationship in the present. Go back to why you like to move, not what it
can give you long term.

Stop
thinking so much about what It should be giving You: What can You give It?

As with all relationships the best you can give your partner is your full attention. Learn to read your
moving-body’s nuances of tone, its changes in inflexion. Delight in the sheer
pleasure of your body pounding, shaking, jumping the stress and tension out of
your mind, body and soul. You can both then bask in the post-workout glow.

5 ways to apply this advice right away

1.
List the reasons why you DO love to move. Refer to it often.

It’s good to remind yourself what it’s REALLY all about, for
those times when going gets rough.

2.
List the forms of movement that you DO love to engage in.

When going gets rough, there has to be a foundation of love to
fall back on. Do not expect to love your workout routine tomorrow if you never
loved it to begin with (or worse, if you hate it). Find yourself an activity
you really enjoy doing and stick to that for now.

You can try
being aware of your feet, or your
armpits, or your neck, during movement. The point is
to start really connecting to your moving body, to learn to be present in the
moment and in the movement. All true joy springs from this fountain.

4.Start researching possible places where you can go on workout
dates.

Decide if you want to
have some alone time on your date (perhaps a leisurely walk or run along the
beach or a country trail… you can take the dog too), or you’d rather party with
friends (a dance class, a pilates class, a yoga class, a functional fitness
class, a tennis match… so many options, you can pick your party-style).

5. If your relationship is in
real tatters, get some professional help.

A good teacher or coach can make all the difference if you
find yourself hating your time together with your body during your workouts.
What you need is to learn each other’s language. Only then will you each be able to communicate more
clearly your needs and delights. An Alexander Technique teacher can help you
get back in touch with what your body is feeling, with how to communicate clear
directions to it, and how to grow together towards your true potential.