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Topic : Is This Normal?

Your partner asked you to do WHAT? Some things are taboo. Some things are common but just not discussed. Where does your sex life fit in?

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Is This Normal?

I ask men to hurt me during sex. While i know a lot of others who also do this, which makes me think its normal, this may be because I associate with other people like me. What does everyone else think about this?

This is Too Glen

Hi I'm Shorty I just read your post and I am very sad for you that you felt insicure. Tho I do understand because I feel the same way that I'm not good enough for my husband. Tho I'm not even sure he is with me? But I just wanted to say your not alone in feeling that way. I am not as luck as you that your molester is dead mine is still alive and so is the person or persons that Raped me. Well I just hope that things are better for you? Hope too get too know you. Take Care Shortylock

Glen 2

I just posted a long A Very long post too you and have no idea where it went. I was telling you too please do not do anything rash? And That I really think you need to go talk to someone. I am and will allways be here for you too talk too. But please promies me you will think about talking too someone. And tell me if you would please how is it ur fault that your brother died? And I see no shame anything that happend too you was never ever ever your fault. I'll leave it at this for now Please now I'm your friend and am here too talk too ok? night and hope to hear from you soon Shorty,.......

Have Not Heard A Word From Glen

Hey Glen if your reading this please post too me so I know your ok and let me know how your doing? I have been worried about you. Please tell me whats going on? Or if there is someone there that can tell me your ok. Well thats all I wanted and too let you know I am thinking about you. Take Care and hope to hear from you soon.&nbsp

Impotence

My boyfriend accepted a job a year ago that is many miles away with the result that we see each other only once a month or every other month for a long weekend. He has always used the internet for pornographic sexual stimulation. I do not object to this. However, since he has been gone, his use has accelerated and his usage has been increasingly demanding with the result that he needs more sexually explicit scenes to stimulate him. He can no longer attain and/or sustain an erection when he has sex with me. He does state that he does not have that problem on the internet. He does refuse to get high on the internet with me stating that it is a private experience.&nbsp

&nbsp

I now consider him to be addicted to the internet as he has to view it everyday. Can his internet addiction be the cause of his impotence with me?&nbsp

Absolutely

My boyfriend accepted a job a year ago that is many miles away with the result that we see each other only once a month or every other month for a long weekend. He has always used the internet for pornographic sexual stimulation. I do not object to this. However, since he has been gone, his use has accelerated and his usage has been increasingly demanding with the result that he needs more sexually explicit scenes to stimulate him. He can no longer attain and/or sustain an erection when he has sex with me. He does state that he does not have that problem on the internet. He does refuse to get high on the internet with me stating that it is a private experience.&nbsp

&nbsp

I now consider him to be addicted to the internet as he has to view it everyday. Can his internet addiction be the cause of his impotence with me?&nbsp

Please go to the 'how porn has affected our relationship' board and read/post. You will find a wealth of info there. Good luck.

My husband is impotent!!!

I met a wonderful intelligent, humorous, older man when I was 17. Unfortunately, and I have to say that because of the last few years, I fell in love with him. As soon as we were married, he became impotent. I was only 20 and I had no idea what to do in this situation. Now I am 25 and have tried desparately to save my marriage. We began counseling, I pressured him into seeing a doctor, and have even tried to be more intimate with him. I feel like I am at my breaking point. There is a small part of me that stays hopeful that our relationship will return to what it once was, and because of that, I keep hanging around. I could stay in a sexless marriage, but there is zero imtimacy amd my own esteem has suffered because of the past five years. I feel like I am going to be trapped in this circle forever: wanting to leave because he doesn't even try, yet staying because i remember how we used to love each other. Or maybe I'm just a coward. I am really sad and confused right now. I welcome any advice anyone would like to share, but more importantly, I need to know I am not alone right now. &nbsp

Dear taut...

My boyfriend accepted a job a year ago that is many miles away with the result that we see each other only once a month or every other month for a long weekend. He has always used the internet for pornographic sexual stimulation. I do not object to this. However, since he has been gone, his use has accelerated and his usage has been increasingly demanding with the result that he needs more sexually explicit scenes to stimulate him. He can no longer attain and/or sustain an erection when he has sex with me. He does state that he does not have that problem on the internet. He does refuse to get high on the internet with me stating that it is a private experience.&nbsp

&nbsp

I now consider him to be addicted to the internet as he has to view it everyday. Can his internet addiction be the cause of his impotence with me?&nbsp

Porn can be VERY desensitizing. There was a Dr. Phil episode that discussed this.

He HAS to view it everyday??

If his use of the internet is interfering in his everday functioning and/or your relationship, he may very well be a sex addict.

You need more information. I suggest you talk to a counselor who deals with sex addiction.

Dear venus...

I met a wonderful intelligent, humorous, older man when I was 17. Unfortunately, and I have to say that because of the last few years, I fell in love with him. As soon as we were married, he became impotent. I was only 20 and I had no idea what to do in this situation. Now I am 25 and have tried desparately to save my marriage. We began counseling, I pressured him into seeing a doctor, and have even tried to be more intimate with him. I feel like I am at my breaking point. There is a small part of me that stays hopeful that our relationship will return to what it once was, and because of that, I keep hanging around. I could stay in a sexless marriage, but there is zero imtimacy amd my own esteem has suffered because of the past five years. I feel like I am going to be trapped in this circle forever: wanting to leave because he doesn't even try, yet staying because i remember how we used to love each other. Or maybe I'm just a coward. I am really sad and confused right now. I welcome any advice anyone would like to share, but more importantly, I need to know I am not alone right now. &nbsp

There is BIG difference between intimacy and sex... this is ESPECIALLY true for women.

So your hubby went to the doctor who found nothing medically wrong? And he's tried the various meds available for ED? And it hasn't helped.

Once you've ruled out the medical the next thing is to rule out the mental. SO that would be the next logical step.

Regarding intimacy -- the feeling of closeness and connectedness to those we love most -- You are saying he doesn't even try. Is that right?

If you find that you have a partner who is unwilling/incapable of being the partner you need, then the bottom line is, I'm afraid, that you have NO marriage.

If are consistently staying in the relationship because of how you knew it was and how you WISH it would be, you are really short changing yourself.

Since you asked for advice, I suggest you get some counseling ALONE to discover what it is that YOU really want out of your life and how you can go about making that happen.