Mikey Finds Courage with Busy Lizzy

While attending a CHA Designer Retreat in Innisfil Ontario, I nearly had a breakdown. I felt like a child with a quivering lip of thinking, “I can’t do that!” I was immediately taken back to grade 4 of sitting in my chair with the teacher yelling at me to figure my answers out when, in fact, it was too hard for me.

I arrived at the retreat and we all had to customize our name tags. While most of these ladies are giggling and creating masterpieces in just minutes. All I seen was duct tape, sheets of paper, thing-a-ma-jigies that I don’t know what they are. I was screwed.

I tried to be a man about it thinking this is going to be a piece of cake. Like a dog needing to go out for a serious pee after the owner has been gone for a full work day and then decided to go out for drinks before returning home, I was pacing back and forth. Each pass I was getting desparate thinking, ‘what in the hell do I do with this stuff’. ‘Dammit Jim, I’m a yarn artist, not paper, glue and scissors.

Though everyone has been amazing at this retreat so far, Busy Lizzy, Fibre Artist is here and she’s a Crochet Crowder. She immediately gravitated to me when I arrived. She identified that I was struggling and all I had was components picked out but I didn’t know what to do with them. Everyone’s badges were so pretty and here mine is in pieces with me ready to have a nervous breakdown. Busy Lizzy came up to me realizing I need help and sat me down at a table with a glue gun.

Mikey’s Masterpiece, Name Tag for CHA Designer Retreat.

Long story short, I’m always telling people to allow their imaginations to flow, open their minds, create and much more… and here I am in front of something that is kicking my ass. Busy Lizzy was patient for 15 minutes giving me the permission to be creative. “Just start somewhere Mikey and build. I put down my border and then my brain seemed to open up my the Red Sea. My awakening wasn’t instant but as I worked on it, which took me nearly 2 hours, ideas, and the thought of ‘I can’t’ turned into ‘why not’.

In the end, it all came together in a way that I am so proud of. I crocheted the purple area to have my own creativity as part of my badge. Simply meaning I wanted something hand made on it. I realized that if I had an attitude of ‘why not’ instead of ‘I can’t’, it means I don’t need permission to let me creative brain relax and go.

I’m totally going to frame this when I get home. I talked to Diva Dan last night and he was like, ‘it just screams you’, whether that’s good or bad is a whole other ball of wax.

My first ever creative workshop was at a campground. I was with my MIL and I was 8 mos preggers. We were supposed to pick to do something with little baskets and flowers. Now, I have such a black thumb seeds I touch don’t germinate. True story proven with experiments. Another story for another day. So, thankfully these were artificial teeny tiny flowers that we were gonna attach to wires we were gonna paper wrap ourselves, etc. My MIL was VERY encouraging. To this day I LOVE that woman. I divorced her son and kept his family. His siblings call me sis and their kids call me aunty. That day I made my little basket that my MIL said looked like a chicken put it together to help me through my natural childbirth. Right. It NEVER took place. I was too narrow, I was in labor for 32 hrs and all I remember of the experience is falling in love with my son’s beautiful face. Can’t remember what happened to that basket. Better for everyone, I think. I’m SO bad at coordinating my own outfits I’ve ALWAYS gotten dressed in the dark without looking in the mirror because it comes out better that way. I’ve actually been told MANY times how nice I look while when I actually try I just get weird looks and if I’m lucky and someone that lives me is around, I get told to please go change. I usually just put on jeans and a t-shirt at that point. All that to say that crocheting has been a revelation. People compliment my skills, my choice of stitches! They DON’T want me to make them something else instead of what I sent them for Christmas! And my latest project? They are saying the LOVE THE COLORS! And I picked out their order! Granted, my DIL picked out 3 of them, but they seemed SO tame I added 3 more. BOLD ones, even though it’s a baby blanket (the Lacy Accent Doily! I was inspired by another Crowder =)). Creativity is an amazing thing. I remember a quote I used to see all the time. I don’t remember exactly what it was right now but it said that if you stand still and wait a bit, that something would come and pose on you like a butterfly and if you moved gently it would stay. I feel that way. That because my illness is so bad right now, I’ve had to remain still and that butterfly has come to stay. You’re one of the lucky ones. That butterfly was CHASING you!!