Crystal Renn Gets Honest About Size and the Modeling Industry

*"There isn't a category to describe me as a model," says the gorgeous star of our March issue fashion feature, "The Shape of Clothes to Come." She gets real with us about her ups and downs in fashion.*My whole life I've been a boundary breaker. I went to a Christian school that had a dress code, so I dressed like a goth. Coincidentally it implemented uniforms the next year.

The same applies to my career as a model: Over the course of 12 years, I've basically had three modeling careers. A decade ago I was what the industry calls a "straight-size model"—and suffered from an eating disorder. Luckily I realized that I'd be a better woman and model if I could actually function on the job and not be starving or crazy. I saw an opportunity to model at a different size while I could recover from an awful thing, and I took it, becoming plus-size. That was my second career.

But then I noticed there was this huge distinction between different types of models: You're either straight-size or plus-, with nothing in between. I was very thankful that plus-size had become an option, because it allowed me to heal. But forcing myself to gain weight [to keep plus-size bookings] is as much an eating disorder as forcing myself to lose weight, and I didn't want to go back to that mentality.

The truth is, in modeling we have a big, big, big middle ground that is not acknowledged. In the late eighties and early nineties, modeling at a "middle size" [a 4 to an 8] was normal, but it has not been normal now for many years. Still, I have chosen to accept myself in this middle area. It is my happy medium. I am a woman, and changes are naturally going to happen. I cannot predict what my body will do next year.

This is not about weight; that's not my fight anymore. I don't want terms like plus-size and straight-size, or even a clothing size—currently I'm an 8—to define if I'm beautiful or not. Why do we have to be a category? Right now there isn't one to describe me as a model, and I actually love that. Even if there were some word for it, I don't want to own titles anymore. I'm not supportive of one body type versus another. I encourage women to accept themselves as they are.