Skinny vs Muscled: The Eternal Struggle of Desire!

Skinny vs Muscled

The Eternal Struggle of Desire!

By Julian Rahahleh

We all love to get physical. After all, a relationship isn’t really considered a relationship unless it’s ‘consummated’ through the physical part, or so they say. So, a mutual physical attraction is the base-point of any relationship, and that attraction, since its physical, depends on body shape. Some are into muscled guys, some are into skinny guys, some are into bears and some would sleep with any of the mentioned above. And in order to attract the other mate, one should get into a certain physique, some sort of a ‘hitching’ ritual to draw the other mate’s attention through certain body traits. The problem is, what if you like a person, but you’re not in the body shape they prefer? Would you be willing to change your body in order to get a partner? Through those hard nights in gyms, or a tough strict diet in order to lose weight? Well, all seems fair in love and war.

Comparing between both types is a tricky path, and not as easy as it seems by the beginning; but other than the obvious health benefits of a workout, most guys (based on what I saw on various dating sites) prefer fit/muscled guys with an unbeatable percentage around 55% – the rest ranges between skinny, twinks, bears or they don’t have a preference. In general, muscles or fitness are considered a sign of masculinity, guys that are muscled are usually referred to as ‘studs’. Contrary to popular belief, becoming muscled doesn’t take that much of your time; you don’t have to spend those long nights at the gym doing push-ups or running on the treadmill. A range of simple workouts that don’t even require a gym subscription from jogging/walking to doing housework (yes, it’s proven that housework is better than a gym workout) up to an hour per day at the gym gets you the desired result; not quite the rock-carved abs like some WWF wrestler, but in shape and in a better, more presentable state on the market if you got rejected before by a guy who’s your type because of your physique.

On the other hand, slenderness/skinniness is a sign of ‘twinkhood’, sort of speak. Twinks are becoming more popular day by day, a recent adult-oriented spoof off the popular movie Twilight called ‘Twinklight’ is very popular online, and received very good reviews from porn critics (a profession I never thought would exist). The rising popularity of skinny guys or twinks is obvious through the shift that happened in the porn industry, shifting from rugged, masculine guys to skinny barely legal boys.

“Body change comes with personality change, you either gain more confidence and your rates go up, or you boost your ego a bit over the top, and rather unattractive!”

The struggle to fit through the images that are casted by society can be quite harsh. As mentioned before, the problem is: Are you willing to work on yourself in order to get either skinny or muscled, whatever type attracts your kind of guys? Well, that question doesn’t have a definite answer. Some are quite content with their bodies and they’re not willing to change anything about it, they go with the ‘if you like my body then so be it, otherwise you can back off’ approach. Others are quite flexible, and would work on improving themselves in order to attract their ideal mate, whether it’s gaining muscles or losing weight to get skinny. Looking at the psychological part of it, the willingness of changing your body to attract others isn’t a bad thing, improvement is always a good thing, and self-acceptance is even more important – of course when it’s within acceptable limits, not turning into an obsession. Some health risks do stand within the process of sculpting abs or shedding away fat; excessive working-out might stress the muscles, and make bones age faster, while attempts to get skinny might include the risk of swaying into the path of bulimia or anorexia, which are very serious diseases and eventually leads to eating disorder.

But then comes the matter of, “what if things didn’t work out between us? Where would that leave me?” Losing yourself in the process could affect your overall persona! Body change comes with personality change, you either gain more confidence and your rates go up, or you boost your ego a bit over the top, and rather unattractive! And that could clash with your looks or maybe suites it. How many beautiful men have we seen with slender bodies and down to earth personalities? And how many muscled guys have we seen with snobby attitude and I’m too hot for you kind of guys? And vice versa? Let me guess, all the time! This body change should come from a certain and determent propaganda, and not to alternate insecurities! We all want to feel attractive, we all want to feel wanted and desired! But do we all need to look like DNA magazine’s cover guys? If you feel like you’re stuck in a body you’re in satisfied with, then you shall do something about, don’t just remain on the bathroom floor with used tissues around! But if you feel you need to change your body that you’re comfortable with then you’re only changing to fit into stereotypes, and not sure if that should be up for grabs!

Snatching Mr. right is a serious matter, but is it sane to try to fit in these images and stereotypes enable to land him? Who haven’t! We all have done that on one level or another! Did you tweeze your eyebrows too? But again, is fitting into stereotypes feed the right crowed? Or just the skinny ones? Do we change ourselves for one another or do we take each other based on love and acceptance not to mention the difference appreciation of one another? Self-improving is always a must and all is good in moderation; taking anything to the extreme side makes it worse, and turns it into a turn-off. So which will you be? Aren’t you Mr.right to someone anyways?

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Cover: My.Kali’s September/October 2018, featuring Rashed who story tells us his journey in claiming his gender and body

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