If you can't handle the idea of your other half having a daft crush on some Hollywood A-lister or whatever then it's difficult to see how your relationship is going to function. Having said that I absolutely cannot feel anything by way of attraction for famous people. If I've only seen them on tv I just can't bridge the reality gap.

Never done the whole celebrity crush thing for the same reason. If I'm watching something and someone on it is beautiful then I may comment, but even then it's generally irrelevant and not worth mentioning. More often than not she'll be the one to mention how fit someone is, of any gender, and most often I tend to agree.

One of the funniest listener e-mails I ever heard on Adam and Joe was about something like this. A couple had another couple over for dinner and asked the other two whether they had a 'Freebie list' (like Ross and Rachel do in Friends). The other couple said that they didn't, so the hosts asked them if they did, what two people would they sleep with if they had they had the choice. The guy instantly named his partner's sister and one of his colleagues.

I find it really weird when people are in long-term relationships and can't do it at all. We can talk quite openly about finding people in the street attractive as well. Just a trust thing, isn't it? I guess it's a bit easier for same-sex relationships as you can kind of agree or disagree, rather than feeling threatened.

Do you think it might be a bit of an unrealistic expectation though? I mean making your partner feel beautiful (perfectly honourable thing) and finding other people attractive aren't mutually exclusive. Just seems a harsh repression of a perfectly natural instinct, which adds unneccesary pressure to relationships (which, let's face it, aren't the easiest/smoothest things in the world at the best of times).

I find it's better to be open about these things but sensitively so, myself. But every relationship's different.

it's not the not-fancying- you can't ask peopel not rot be like PHWOAR evcery now and again, but not everybody is compfrtable being reminded of it.
I used ot go out with somebody who was THE WORST at double taking whenevr osmebody he liked walked past, or walked into a bar, and te girl would always notice and look at me with a kind of pity and that would piss me off. I don't want some random girl's pu
ity just because my man can't keep his eyes in his head.
I tihknkthat one of the loveliest things is when I'm walking with my bf and we get about ten paces past somebody and turn to one another and whisper JUGS ON THAT, but at the time you would NEVER have noticed that we had clocked it, we didn't break conversation or slow our step. Classic pervos.

To be honest my worst attribute TERRIBLE at clocking other girls when I'm out with my gf. Nothing as bad as you've mentioned there but doing it so she notices occasionally and it makes her feel bad :( It's just clumsiness but I'm still a knobhead for it...

I got caught checking out a guy's sartorial flair. I was thinking "fucking hell, that's a great combination of suit and silk scarf."

And then looked down to my gf, who was looking up at me questioningly. And I went to explain and she cut me off and just said "I know." And rolled her eyes :( I WISH it had been a girl I'd been checking out.

I'd caveat that though with some people having life experiences they can't let go of with regards to that stuff. Like if you've been cheated on repeatedly in the past and been really hurt by it. I can imagine you wouldn't be especially comfortable with that level of candour with regards to expressions of attraction to other people in real life...

But it's all just about knowing and understanding the person you're with really. As with most of these things.

taken to the other extreme, i find it pretty toe curling when couples are so totally Right On with their open admiratoin of thrid parties. there's no need to hide it particularly (anmd it can make for a bit of fun gentle teasing) but to be too overt about it is I think a nbit odd and I dunno- disrespectful? i odn;t think it mkaes ouy insecruer not to have ot want to listen to your partner talk about people thta they fancy that aren't you. bit I do think you could maybe loosen up a wee bit about it because there's a good chance your partner will fancy somebody else- even just a wee bit- at some point in the future, whether in real life or on the telly, and that is a fact.

Nobody is saying thath just because your partner finds somebody on tv atractive menas that they want to sleep with thewm/ would sleep with them/. wnat tyo sleep with naybody else. That's irrelevant. It's about finding a balance as a couple that makes oyu feel ok about hearing the detail of somebody else that they fancy. It doens't bother me in the lsightest 9perhaps because it's not something anybody has every relaly mentoined all that much apart fomr light heartedly and rarely) but I can see how somebody who was a bit more sensitive might feel it wasn't something they were comfortable hearing. sopmebody like that probably wouldn't be going out with the kind of person who would feel the need to go on about it ad nauseam anyway.

I had an ex (long time ago), who I mentioned once looked a bit like Tina from S Club 7. She then trapped me in a "well you fancy me so do you fancy her" mega-trap and she totally lost her shit over it. Was insane and proved her many insecurities.

that is so insance and also shows the pitfallsa about really open and cool with thsi flow pof informatoin. My bf is like a really gorgeous and taller version of geolrgios samaras (who is probably as close ot a celeb crush as I get) but even then, i don't bloody og on about iit (ok actually i do have I LOVE YOU SAMMO tattooed across my mound of venus, but that's ok, yeah?)

Saying that you want to bash Karen from Accounts back doors in is a bit different to contextually mentioning someone is attractive, for whatever reason (nice picture, looked nice that day, someone who is particularly stunning draws both of your attention)

-Man brings up which celebrities i might fancy
-redhead girl with fringe (now blonde with fringe) hears about how they like Scarlett johannasson/marina and the diamonds
-she tells him she loves Patrick wolf and morrissey who he bears no resemblance to
-date over :D (symbolically)