yuck, Ellen. I hope you all feel better soon! We've avoided the flu so far but have gotten pink-eye recently. Actually, amazingly, my 3 yo is the only one of us to not have gotten it!

I was just realizing on my birthday on Thursday that exactly 1 year ago I had gone to the dr to get my iud taken out (what a fun birthday activity huh?) and was praying that I'd get pregnant soon! Wow, a lot has changed since that day a year ago!

Wow, Casey - it didn't take you long to get pregnant after having the IUD out!

Ellen, we've had a nasty stomach bug here lately, too - I got it the worst in our family, but ds1, dd1, and dd2 all had variations of it. The only one not to get sick at all was Nicholas. Phew! I've never had a newborn with the flu, and I hope I never will.

Yes, Laura - our rash was like that with the bubbles popping. I didn't go to the dr to get it looked at, though.

OK, kids are stirring and I have to get going on the day. Have a great Monday, everyone!

Ok. So we're back from seeing the breastfeeding medicine doctor. Basically, I wish I could've see her from the beginning, because I think we could've avoided months of pain and suffering, but by the time we saw her, we'd pretty much worked most of our issues out. From what she said (and I agree), Maia may have had some birth trauma issues but she's mostly worked them out (newborns are very good at working through their own musculoskeletal issues if they're not too severe, especially by spending time on their tummies and having the opportunity to move their head and neck freely). We definitely had thrush for a long period of time, but it's gone now, and we may have had a a secondary bacterial infection but that's gone too. If I were to continue having problems or if I'd seen her even a week ago when I still had nipple pain and such, she would've cultured my nipples and breast milk and treated accordingly. I think using the grapefruit seed extract and APNO probably cleared things up. And she said the trauma from the thrush and sore nipples may have caused the vasospasms, which are also almost gone, but that I can use heat on my nipples after feedings until that's gone entirely. Maia didn't suck well on the MD's finger -- she kept biting. And the MD said that Maia raises the back of her tongue when she sucks. She said this could be due to something musculoskeletal, but if it wasn't bothering me then I probably didn't need to do anything about it unless I wanted to, because her assessment of Maia's head and neck showed only mild tightness. She did give me some tips on latching and such, especially because I have an overactive letdown, and probably some over supply of milk as well. Maia seems to not be bothered by excessive spitting up, so again, I shouldn't worry about that either! Her weight gain is good (she's at 9 lbs 11 oz at 10 weeks, up from 7 lbs at birth). And as far as her rashy bottom goes, it was almost all cleared up and hard to see, but the MD said it didn't look like or sound like yeast.

So I was almost embarrassed because there wasn't a crack in sight on my nipples and Maia's tongue is perfectly pink, but like I said, I guess everything I was doing was working! I'm still glad we saw this doctor because it was good for me to hear that everything's fine. I did think it was interesting what she said about supposed "resistant" cases of thrush often being a secondary bacterial infection and not even thrush. Again, I wish I would've seen her a month ago when we were in the trenches and I thought we were never going to be rid of the thrush/cracked nipples, etc!

You said Maia's tongue is pink now. Does everyone's lo have all pink tongues? Clara still has a milk coated tongue, or so I thought. There is nothing on her cheeks and I have no symptoms, so I didn't think thrush. Could it be- maybe that is part of her gas issues.

Hooray, Julie! So glad to hear the doctor visit went well! Interesting about a second bacterial infection...thrush is such a fickle monster.

We have had a couple of sunny days here lately. Hooray! It's so nice to see the sun and have some outside-friendly weather. So sorry for all of you stuck in the frigid temps of the east coast! I don't envy you at all. I've been in -40 degree weather before; it isn't any fun.

DS (4yo) recovered from his antibiotic reaction (they actually diagnosed serum sickness-like reaction) and now seems to have another cold. And possible an eye infection - his one eye is very watery, but not red or crusty, so maybe it's just part of the cold. I wonder if he'll let me dose it/him with breastmilk?? We boiled all the toothbrushes yesterday, and now need to wipe down surfaces with something...possibly bleach, even though I'm not big on bleach. It just seems like we've all been sick in an endless cycle since before Christmas

You said Maia's tongue is pink now. Does everyone's lo have all pink tongues? Clara still has a milk coated tongue, or so I thought. There is nothing on her cheeks and I have no symptoms, so I didn't think thrush. Could it be- maybe that is part of her gas issues.

Paige's tongue is still white at times, but not all the time. Try to wipe off the white - if it comes off, it's milk, if it doesn't, it could be thrush. that it isn't!

Kitty, ugh! That's awful. I'm praying for another 2+ years this time... Though there's always that fear in the back of my mind that I could go against all of my previous experiences and get AF earlier and, ya know, you can always ovulate *before* AF...

Today is my first day dairy-free, as well as first full day trying to reduce the amount of foremilk by some combination of block feeding and pumping/expressing. My left breast feels like it's been beaten. It's weird because, on the one hand, I feel like I need for her to eat more, and on the other, like I'm taking away all of her milk. I realize the point is to get her to take more of the higher calorie hindmilk, but there is something rather counterintuitive about it! And when I weighed her tonight, she's gained nothing since Sunday night. Obviously, we're talking about half ounces here, but I'm hopeful she'll keep gaining, even if it's slow...

Anyone else feeling like they still need to process their birth? I've written my birth story and all of that, but I find myself reading others with almost a resentment at how my own birth happened. Then, I'm feeling weepy about it. When my MW came yesterday to check up on Eliana, she asked if I'd been thinking about it and surely could tell I was trying hard not to cry. She's coming again next week to talk more since we ran out of time. I am feeling really dissapointed both in things I couldn't have affected and in those I (or others) could have. I worry about talking to her about it and doing so without laying blame... There wasn't anything done wrong, it just could've been done better, you know? As it is, I didn't get some of the things that were most important to me to get, and it's a combination of factors that caused that. Given that I don't expect to give birth again (nor do I believe I can endure it, as horrifically intense as my births have become), it's also sad for me and my children who won't get another chance to see a sibling born. Anyway, clearly, I've got some issues surrounding the birth, but I don't WANT to have issues. I want to let it go and be done with it and over it and just happy for the good things and okay with the not so good ones. But, of course, really, I want to go back and fix it all. Anyone else still trying to process?

Sweetest baby girl woke up... So much for thinking she was down for the night!

hugs heather!! i know what you mean about processing your birth. i just wrote my story last week, and while the actual labor/birth was great, it was the afterwards that i still don't want to think about or process (ian not breathing for almost 5 minutes, horrible afterpains for 4 hours afterwards and I was totally OUT of it).... I just want to have a birth where the baby is born and is in my arms and we can just rest and bond and relax afterwards.. i haven't gotten that with either birth. :(

Catie - Happy wife to Aaron (01.05), mama to Liam(08.08), and Ian (11.10)! and due Feb 2013 with blessing #3!

Yeah, it seems like now that some time has passed, I question some things that went on during labor/birth. And the whole eye ointment thing that I don't know if I even talked about here. I didn't want it, 1st nurse tried to tell me it was required by law, I fought it, did the whole labor/birth thing, baby got eye ointment. The nurse who brought her back to me didn't have any idea (and I believe her, she was about ready to cry) but, yeah, I've got some resentment there. And I question having the pitocin. Part of me says it's done and over, why do I care? And part of me is annoyed that I was so out of control over what was happening to my body.

Big kids are over the influeza, just lingering running noses and coughs. Husband never got it, just had a weird 1 day cold. However, I'm worried about the baby. I'm thinking that she might have whooping cough. None of my kids have ever had it before, so I'm just not sure if it's that or a really bad cold. Any thoughts? I'm probably going to take her in to the ped, but my regular one is off on Wednesdays and I'm not fond of the other ones. I suppose the one is okay, just pushy. The other, I think, doesn't know what he's doing - so we'll not be seeing him. Well, she is awake. Better go see how the congestion is.

to all the Mamas still processing their birth! I still do from time to time. It seems so surreal like it never happened somehow. I was not prepared for a fast birth or the anxiety afterwards about pph and then the added freak out of finding out my placenta had migrated to a near previa. That would have been devastating. It was so close, and I'm so thankful. And then my mw abandoning me afterward, it almost felt like. She never came for a pp visit at all, left 2 hours after the birth and all of my attempts to see her and give her a present I had for her have failed, so I feel let down after hearing about everyone else's midwife relationships.

Heather-sounds a lot like my 3rd child. I highly recommend completely cutting dairy-even monitor cross contamination and the tiniest bit of milk in anything you eat. My 3rd was so super sensitive to dairy she would have the worst symptoms like Eliana if I ate just half a cracker that had casein somewhere in it. Testing anyone under age 4, in particular, is notoriously inaccurate, so I would not bother. All of my kids outgrew the dairy allergy. Keeping all dairy out of my diet without slip ups, I feel, contributed to my 4th child outgrowing it the fastest. It can take a few weeks for all of the milk to get out of your system, too. I will say that pumping before I nursed (not too long, just 1-2 oz.) with Molly helped her considerably with my OALD. I don't need to do so anymore as it has evened out a little, but it really helped for about a month and I just donated that milk and more to a baby at Riley's.

Molly has her first sickness. We thought she had a cold before but it's just her strong gag reflex and dry heat in the house. Now she has a "real" cough from her cousin.

Oh, but forgot to share the GOOD news. Yesterday, as I was feeling worried about the baby and annoyed that the babysitting kids were being picked up late AGAIN and while my husband was working late AGAIN, I get a package from my brothers-in-law. Inside was a Moby Wrap. The one thing that I REALLY REALLY wanted to get for this baby and didn't have. The thing that I REALLY REALLY didn't want to spend money on since money is super tight right now. The thing that I was probably within hours of purchasing anyway. And there it was!!!!!! My b-i-l's partner works in a snooty baby store in NYC on the Upper East Side. B-i-l had asked me at Christmas if I would want something like that. I thought that he had forgotten all about our conversation. Haven't tried it out yet since I'm sure that I'll need to figure it out first, but I'm so freaking excited.

Baby seems better now that she is up, so maybe I'm overreacting about the whooping cough. She's eating, smiling, all that good stuff. Maybe just a bad cold.

I still think about my birth sometimes. It would have been nice to have a doula present. I wrote about it in the most positive light I could muster, because that is what I wanted to remember, but honestly there was a lot that I really regret. Aside from the first two nurses who immediately told me that I had to have morphine or an epidural IMMEDIATELY, one or the other - the rest of my nurses were pretty respectful. I know that my birth wasn't completely natural, and I feel a little robbed that I was talked into so much during transition. Previously agreed upon points, like delayed cord clamping, no pitocin for placenta delivery, etc etc were suddenly not options anymore though nobody could explain why and I couldn't focus to ask the right questions. And whats with this "lip" of my cervix not moving out of the way, why was I told I couldn't push when I wanted to? Is that a real thing? That was easily the most painful part, not being able to push when my body desperately wanted to. And the fact that somebody - I can't even remember who - decided to take my baby away instead of hand him to me immediately bothers me, though I know it is weird and maybe petty... I just wanted to be the first to hold him and see him all new and fresh.

But I guess part of me also feels incredibly grateful that it went as well as it did, I know some mamas have a lot more to sort through. I guess this is my first time laying out all the negatives I felt about my experience, I know for sure that I won't be in a hospital next time.

Desmond was two months old yesterday! at 7 weeks he was 13lbs 8 oz. gaining about a lb a week. He is two feet long. He is fitting into 6 mo sleepers perfectly, we just got rid of all our 3-6 months. I cried when I realized he would never wear my favourite onesie again. Haha. The mom life. We are getting to the bottom of his tummy issues. Block feeding really helped us out, now I am down to 3 hour blocks. His messy diapers look great, all yellow, no mucous... until I tried to re-intro egg yesterday. Sooo now we know for sure about egg! lol. I have actually been sneaking dairy in small ways. I can have things with hidden dairy, sometimes things baked with dairy (though I myself bake with almond milk). I'm going to try cheese as soon as this whole egg thing dies down in about two weeks. We'll see. Is there something better to re-intro with than cheese? I know not to go straight for milk.

Feisty Feminist Mama: Breastfeeding, co-sleeping, babywearing, punkrock Fire-Dancer! I live to laugh, love, and create. And then blog about it. So in love with little Des! Born 11/25/10

I'm glad to know I'm not alone in still processing the birth! Today, when I think about it, I am not feeling nearly so much... I'm just delighted with this amazing little girl I've got. And, really, that's what I want: to not have to dwell on what did or didn't happen, but to have peace with it and be able to go on and enjoy the most wonderful thing that came out of it (so to speak!).

It is so wonderful to be so in love with such an awesome little person! I take a zillion pictures, it seems, trying to capture her. I just wish I could keep this time forever as I will definitely miss the little head that falls asleep so easily on my shoulder, the body that's just long enough to rest on my arm as I sit here and type, the little noises as she sleeps and dreams, the wonderful smells of a little baby.

It's already feeling like she's about to turn into a BABY. Not a newborn, but a BABY. She sits up so well - assisted, of course - but I wonder just how many more weeks it will be before she's tripod sitting. She smiles so readily and so easily and talks a ton. I love these sounds and hate to think that they'll, before long, turn into other sorts of sounds as they slowly turn into words. She's chewing on her hands and drooling, and starting to think about reaching for things. She looks at her brothers so lovingly and adores her daddy. She's clearly learning so much already. And, yet, I know that as she learns more and grows more she will no longer be my tiny, newborn baby!

The good thing about her not growing too fast is that I have yet to have to retire her clothes. Though, actually, newborn stuff is too small. And the newborn Itzy Bitzy owl dress from Zutano... It really is too small now, though I have had her wear it recently, anyway. Thankfully, someone also gave us a 0-3m onesie in it, because I that pattern! I will be very sad when she outgrows everything else, but I am also itching for her to get into some of the new stuff, too. At least that'll be my consolation!

Oh, and I just realized that I took a few more of my placenta pills yesterday... And that may well account for my change in outlook! I haven't taken them in several weeks, I think, but they really DO make a difference in how I feel. I need to make sure my sister can get her placentas after her babies are born so she can get them encapsulated, too. (Did I mention my sister is due with twins in August? They'll be 9 months younger than Eliana! Her first babies. )

Ellen, that's so awesome about the Moby! The biggest key is to make sure it's snug *before* you put the baby in. You don't want loose or drape-y fabric as it just won't give you support (and then it won't feel good, either).

Kitty, I am so glad to know yours all outgrew it! I am really curious whether it's the dairy or the oversupply. I keep looking at the two bags of milk I've pumped so far... Each is 4.5 or so ounces, and there's a TEENY bit of fat layer on each one. Way less than I'm accustomed to, for sure. Now, that's pumping twice into each bag, so the 4.5 ounces wasn't all from one breast at one pumping, but there's easily 2-3 ounces that appears to be *just* foremilk. That could certainly explain some things. It's odd to me that I never had significant issues with my others, though Judah did have mucousy stools that I never could find a cause for. He gained fine, though, and I'm not sure if I ever did avoid dairy entirely. But he can eat it now with no problems - except that he used to react clearly to yogurt and refried beans. That was always a severe diaper rash, though, so now that he's potty trained, I'm not even sure we'd notice an effect. At this point, we still avoid yogurt for him.

Why am I suddenly craving pizza? Oh, I know... Because I can't have it!

Cheese does always sound awesome when you can't have it. I've had an insane craving for tiramisu.

My kids were very obviously dairy-vomiting, green mucousy poop, upset bellies, screaming if I had even a small amount. I really hope Molly outgrows hers soon like Ari did. My 3rd took 2.5 years to get over it and we're still not sure what all allergies she has going on!

all this talk about mucus in poop...what if my daughter has yellow stools but there is mucus? what does that mean? she has been getting a bit fussy sometimes after eating - or during eating. she yells like she has some pain - but gets over it quickly - sometimes with a burp or fart or time. everything i read talks about green stools with mucus. hers have never been green.

Mucous indicates an irritation of the intestines, I believe. My 3yo had mucous without a lot of green (typically just normal except for the mucous), and Eliana has had the same thing. It is sometimes green, but not always. I wouldn't even say it's *mostly* green, but mostly normal with the addition of mucous, which can vary greatly in percentage.

I actually thought maybe it was going away, then today she had a BM that was pretty much ALL mucous.

I am hearing it can be various things, including foremilk/hindmilk imbalance caused by oversupply and overactive letdown (which I seem to have), as well as allergies, in particular cow's milk allergy.

But, then I hear reports across the board of those things causing green stools and hers just aren't green most of the time.

And she's rarely fussy. Here and there, like with ecky's LO having some gassiness, a BM, or burp. But she's anything but colicky, which I typically expect from allergies. I am really, really hoping it's just an oversupply issue that I can work on and get under control. The symptoms of dairy intolerance versus oversupply just seem to be SO similar!

And hugs to all the mommas still processing their birth stories. Unfortunately, I think that we as a group, feeling how we do about the birth experience, and having all of the knowledge we have, our expectations are so high, and we see the birth as something that defines us and stays with us. And consequently, that sets us up for disappointment. Not like we shouldn't expect that we can have the "perfect" birth experience, but what are the odds of every single thing going exactly as planned, when in reality, so much of it is out of our control (i.e. where the placenta attaches, the time labor starts, baby's reaction to the labor, etc). I'm very happy with my birth experience, yet still have room to regret that I didn't "catch" Maia myself, as I'd wanted to. And I don't plan on having any more babies, so I'll never get that opportunity again...

And that brings me to another issue. I can't get enough of kissing Maia's soft little head or snuggling her up on my shoulder or nursing her in bed with me. I just want to cry when I think about her being my last baby, but I don't want to waste her babyhood with me being in a funk because she's my last baby! So I'm just trying to treasure her and not think about anything else. I don't know if it's still postpartum hormones or lack of sleep or what, but I'm still having bouts of anxiety and sadness for no apparent reason. I think some of it is the weather, too. It's been freezing here, and the sun appears to be in hiding, which makes for long, cold, gray days. Plus I've had a cold for the last week that's affecting my sleep but I can't take too much vitamin C because it makes Maia really gassy and poopy. And she has little baby congestion too, which seems to be making her spit up a lot more.