As reported in the Globe and Mail, National Post, and Toronto Star, a Toronto Public School has banned balls–with the exception of Nerf balls–from school property after some unfortunate injuries to students and a parent. I don’t really have a comment, I just wanted to thank the newspapers and the Internet for providing me with so many opportunities to giggle inappropriately and immaturely. I haven’t laughed this much since last year’s infamous “Public Works promises to fill up every hole and find every crack” campaign, not to mention 2004’s “What does the city propose to do about our nuts?” kerfuffle.

Citing safety, Toronto school takes brave stand against balls.

Balls have been removed from the playground at the Earl Beatty Public School in Toronto.

After several “serious incidents” where people were “almost struck” by flying balls, and one person was tragically bonked on the head, a Toronto elementary school has cracked down.

Students rebel against Toronto schoolyard ban on balls.

“It was total disregard for rules and total disrespect,” said Principal Alicia Fernandez, adding that parents, teachers and students have all been struck by rogue balls.

“We have very limited space in the playground, so it’s hard to monitor those balls as they’re flying around,” Ms. Fernandez said.

“I think they need these balls because they have a small schoolyard and that if they’re not going be able to play [with them] they might be picking up rocks, or the pinecones,” said Ms. White. “They need some kind of bouncy ball. Every kid does.”

Students at Earl Beatty Public School revolt: ‘We want our balls back.’

“We want our balls back! We want our balls back!” they chanted as supervisors in fluorescent vests shooed them away from the edge of the property and reporters gathered on the other side the fence.

“They’re indoor balls,” said 13-year-old Annabelle Grant, a Grade 8 student. “If we don’t have (real) balls we won’t be as active.”