Hummus, Communism, and the Decline of Our Once Great Intellect

There was a time when we were intellectuals to be reckoned with… my brother, sister-in-law, husband and I would sit around the dining table discussing politics, social change and the benefits and disadvantages of living under a wholly capitalist cultural hegemony.

I finally realized that we are just not those people anymore.

Now, if an issue is not related to food going in a kid’s mouth or poop coming out of its butt, we can’t seem to approach it with any degree of intellectual credibility.

This following conversation seriously drove it home for me last week:

Me: ChompChompSnerrfle, you know, honey, this hummus you made for the party is really good. ChompChomp, you’re really good at making hummus… you’re like a hummus ambassador because I know, like, three ChompChomp people who didn’t even like hummus before they had your hummus.

My Brother: What are you talking about? Who doesn’t like hummus?

Tariq: No, she’s right, I’ve had several people tell me that they really like the hummus I make even though they didn’t like hummus before.

My Brother: Not liking hummus is xenophobic.

Me: Are you serious? What, so if a person doesn’t like hummus that means they hate Arabs and Greeks?

My Brother: Pretty much.

Me: You can’t be serious. So, if I don’t like pizza, that means I hate Italians?

(And then my husband opens his mouth to say something I think is going to be reasonable, but says this instead…)

Tariq: Hey… you know, when India was heavily influenced by communism… we didn’t have peanut butter and jelly. And that’s when I lived there, and I still don’t really like peanut butter and jelly very much. I think he has a point.

Me: Hating peanut butter and jelly does NOT make you a communist. And hating hummus doesn’t mean you hate Arabs.

My Brother: Look, okay, let’s just say this… people who hate hummus do not necessarily hate Arabs, but people who hate Arabs definitely hate hummus.

Me: I, um… uh… okay.

(Holy crap. This argument is actually starting to make sense to me.)

At this point, my sister-in-law walks in from spending nearly an hour trying to get their baby to sleep.

Comments

I love hummus and if it turns anti-hummus people into pro-hummus people, it must be really good. I’d like the recipe. I also don’t like PB&J sandwiches. I think it’s because of the grape jelly, which must mean I hate French people.

Oh my goodness. This is fantastic. Food as a metaphor for world peace…what could be better? But wait. What happens if you are a member of a cultural group and dislike your OWN culture’s food? Does that mean you’re anti-yourself???

This is like the Moebius strip of all food arguments. I think I need some hummus.

Back when I was an undergrad at the University of Maryland, I was involved in one of the Jewish student groups on campus. We would sponsor an annual cultural festival coinciding with Israeli Independence Day, part of which involved obtaining a local vendor from a kosher restaurant not too far away who sold falafel in the center of campus. And, of course, hummus. I mean, what is falafel without hummus?

That act in itself prompted an angry letter to the editor of the newspaper by one of the leaders of the Palestine Student Union on campus. She felt that she (and Palestinians on campus and worldwide) deserved an apology. Why? Because not only were we (Israelis? Jews? Jewish students? The vendor?) stealing the homeland of their people, but we were also stealing their cultural food. How dare we!

The interesting this was that we were trying to keep this event as apolitical as possible so it wouldn’t be an issue of advocacy. Yet it was easy for someone to take something seemingly apolitical and put spin on it.

Hummus is wonderful. And if you want an Israeli perspective on how it’s used, simply watch the mediocre Adam Sandler movie “You Don’t Mess With the Zohan.” Hummus makes appearances in ways you’ll wish you hadn’t seen…

I have seen Zohan… hilarious!! And would it surprise you to know that I am not AT ALL surprised by that incident? In fact, I’ve had that conversation more than once about hummus and its relationship to Israel/Palestine. It’s the most bizarre thing I’ve ever heard, really. Hummus should be used for love, not war.

Now if you really want to cross all boundaries, do the following– a deli-turkey sandwich with Hummus as a filling, topped with Vietnamese Hot Sauce (the kind you get with Pho), with a side of aged cheese, and fried plantains for dessert!

Totally off the subject, or maybe not- have you ever seen the sitcom “little Mosque on the Prairie? It’s kinda hokey, being a Canadian sitcom, but I kinda (blush) like it. I trust it’s politically correct, don’t know.

I think this is so funny when hummus is almost as mainstream as salsa. Same issue, different culture – I love to listen to people here in Nebraska (yeah, we’re the state trying to pass the immigration law similar to the one in Arizona) who in the same sentence can both tell you how illegal Mexican immigrants are single handedly destroying America but also tell you their favorite place to go eat Mexican food. Sometimes I want to move to France. Better class of grape jelly at least!

We went out to dinner a couple of nights ago and your brother precedes to tell this story. After the story an old and dear friend says, “I don’t like hummus.” Sadly I got sidetracked by our toddler, but I had to laugh because I could tell Z was trying to backpedal his stance on hummus. It was great.
Sidebar: Now that the seed has been planted, I do think I’ll always think twice about people who don’t like hummus…sad, but true…and another example of the fall of our, or at least MY, intellect.