BrandZ global report puts Apple at #1 most valuable brand for the first time

Apple Fans To Battlestations: Google has toppled Apple in brand value

Well, I never thought I'd see the day, but according to Millward Brown's annual BrandZ report, Apple is now just the second most valuable brand on earth, with Google taking over the top spot. I have to say, I'm extremely disappointed in each and every one of you so-called Apple fans. How could you let this happen?

Sure, the research behind the BrandZ study puts a huge emphasis on consumer opinions and uses customer interviews in a quantitative manner that is hard to put weight on, and yes, these brands seem to swing and sway with almost zero pattern whatsoever, but that doesn't matter. We've lost a serious battle today and you should all be ashamed of yourselves.

According to the research, Apple's brand value has dropped 20% in the past year, while Google's has rocketed up a whopping 40%. The final tally puts Apple's brand value at US$147.9 billion, while Google snuck past with a value of $158.8 billion. So how do we right this egregious wrong? I have a plan:

Each and every one of you needs to buy three new iPhones and at least a dozen new iPads by the end of the week.

You need to talk about your devices even more than you currently do. Make t-shirts that proclaim your love for Apple.

Remind everyone that Microsoft is only in 4th place, and Samsung isn't even in the top 25. That'll shut 'em up.

Get that Apple tattoo you've been considering. In fact, get several.

This one is the most important: Remember that these rankings mean next to nothing, and go about your lives without acting like an insane fanboy.