Monday, November 10, 2008

It’s not natural for two men to love each other, but it is natural to believe that the son of an omnipotent God was born to a virgin teen, then performed miracles and walked the Earth to save humanity, made a trip to America thousands of years before anyone else, left some golden tablets with rules in a cave, and then a talking Salamander told a criminal and debtor where these tablets are and that he should flee West and marry a bunch of young girls and start the true Christian Church. That’s normal.

Oh, and you should wear this magic underwear. That's normal too.

I hardly think I’m the first to point out that “Mormon” is just one letter away from “Moron.”

"Load up boys: it’s a sissy protest."

You know the rest of the police kept busting this bike cop’s balls for working the gay protest in short pants.

I commend all the protesters’ courage and their endless struggle for equal rights, but sitting in the middle of the road as a stand off against bike cops just isn’t quite as dramatic as the guy standing up against the tanks in Tiananmen square.

“What if I show up dressed like a androgynous, ghosty pharaoh in ballroom gown? That’ll let ‘em know I’m a person too-- right? Yeah, I’m gonna keep the go-tee.”

Everyone was upset when the cops came to disperse the protestors, until this hunk of police cowboy trotted in.

These men claim they're straight, and clearly they should legally dictate who marries whom.

Good thing so many people fought so hard to blaze a path so these two women could come to America, live equally and vote to take away other people’s rights.

You know how they say your first day in prison you should find someone weaker than you and beat the ever living shit out of them to establish your spot in the pecking order? I think that’s what immigrants are doing to gays.

No, of course you’re not fruity. You’re just wearing a feathered purple hat and matching cape.

Physically, there’s very little difference between fucking one of your pre-pubescent child brides and an effeminate man, but I’m pretty sure the moral advantage tips towards the gay guy.