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Thursday, September 14, 2017

The Joys of Not Being a Savior

Being a Savior is a BIG job.

Thankfully, God did not create us to ever host the title. At no time in our lives is it ever ok to try and wear the hat or expect someone else to do so. God sent His Son to be a Savior to all of us and He certainly doesn't need us to help Him out and give Him breaks.

Trying to be someone's savior or demanding a person to be one for us will never pan out - ever.

Unfortunately, I have been on both ends as I'm certain many of you have too.

When my husband and I were first married {and well beyond that first year}, I expected him to save me from all of my insecurities. I wanted him to ride in on his white horse and save my damaged heart. I believed the fairy tales and the chick flics...a man would make everything perfect. I banked on the lie that my man was supposed to create in me a new heart. I thought he should take my yucky feelings and replace them with securities of beauty and adoration.

As you can imagine {or know from experience}, expecting someone to save you never works out. God did not create us to clean out people's hearts and make them new. Yes, we are suppose to carry one another's burdens but we cannot save someone from their insecurities. No amount of reassurance from a human will provide us with the peace and joy God intends for us to have.

The flip side of the coin is that expecting someone to be a savior puts a lot of pressure on the person. No one will ever be able to live up to that job description. It creates tension and unrealistic expectations.

The truth is, my heart {and yours} can only be made whole and clean by our one true Savior. He doesn't feel pressured or backed into a corner when we call on Him to assure us of His love. In fact, He thrills when we do ask.

Once I realized I was expecting the wrong man to save me, my heart began to mend. Jesus took my nasty, wilted heart and mended and puffed it back up to it's intended size. He whispered His love to me as I prayed to Him. He sang to me as I read Scripture and listened to praise music.

I learned that my husband had many roles, but savior was not one of them. As I let go of my expectations for my husband, I began to feel so beautiful to him. I set him free from my unrealistic ideas and we were able to truly be married and love each other as God intends. Honestly, I have never felt more loved, cherished and desired.

Not only did I expect my husband to be my savior, but I expected to be our son's savior. When our oldest was a baby, he was diagnosed with a genetic heart problem. At six months old he was in congestive heart failure and had to have surgery. I was terrified to leave him. I was certain that if I did, he would die. I would have panic attacks whenever I was away from him. Let me say...it was pure torture.

When he was four, he required another surgery. The pain of not being able to protect him was heart wrenching. I felt as though I had let him down. As a mama, I was supposed to protect my precious child. What had I done wrong?

Honestly, it took me years to realize that I was not in control. I had to open my grasp on the love for my child and hand him over to God. On my knees with tears streaming down my face, I confessed that my sweet child was God's. God allows me to raise him up to honor Him, but he is ultimately God's.

That was a difficult, yet extremely freeing process. Trusting God with His child has opened my heart to love even more. I was trying to be my son's savior and it was painful. As I realized that only Jesus can save Him and truly protect him, my heart became free of the weights I had placed on them.

Friends, there is only one Savior and His beautiful name is Jesus. Truly trusting Him and relying on Him brings more peace than words can describe.

Are you relying on someone to save you from pain?

Are being asked to be someone's savior?

Are you trying with all of your might to wear the hat of savior?

Release the expectations and demands to God. Allow Him to do what He is so good at - allow Him to save you and those around you. Give Him the opportunity to heal hearts and restore rightness with Him. There is only one way to do this and it is by developing a relationship with Him. Daily prayer time allows you to bear your heart to Jesus and it opens your heart to hear His love, guidance, and assurance. I can promise you that nothing has impacted my life more than daily prayer. Being alone with your Savior buffs off wounds and turns ashes into beauty.

I am always here to encourage you along and offer support on your journey. If I can pray for you or you just need a listening ear, don't hesitate to email me. God puts us in each other's paths for reasons of love, encouragement, and fellowship.