There are many reasons as to why a child’s biological parents may no longer be together. It may be because of death, separation or even divorce. Today we are looking at the last two scenarios. Now we all know that divorce and separation is rampant in our society today. It’s not something to be proud of. No one gets married or into a relationship with expectations that it will one day come to an end. In fact during the initial period of any relationship things are always rosy, we all dream of a life together forever and believe that nothing or no one will ever come between us. Unfortunately this happy ending does not come true for all of us. And as much as we know divorce is wrong and undesirable, we cannot trivialize the complexities of marriage. So many factors are usually at play before a couple separates. It could be domestic abuse, it could be infidelity, or any number of things. And two people who once loved each other deeply can now no longer be together. But what do you do when you are divorced or separated yet you had children or a child together? [Read more…]

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August school holiday is here; our bio/step children will be home full time. To some couples this thought is scary because of the strained relationships you have in your step family. This should not be case. Today’s article is aimed to help you build a family environment in your home that is conducive for both the children and for you as a couple.

These 3 needs that I will share today are basic needs for children in your step family (step/bio) regardless of the age, gender and personality.

Need To Be Seen And Valued:

Are showing up in your child’s/step child’s life? Are you present or it’s the stuff your money can buy that is present? Children in step families may feel invisible and unimportant – whether they are step/bio. Children who feel this way, always conclude that they have been rejected/not fully accepted. As the adults in our children’s lives, we need to purposefully make the children feel valued: [Read more…]

The word ‘step’ is associated with a lot negativity and stigma. It evokes memories of wickedness, evil and injustice. This can be traced back to all the fairy tales and stories we heard growing up, where there was no ‘…and theylived happily forever after’ for step families. The stigma does not only come from the outside towards the members of a step family, there is also self stigmatization by members of the step family members. More often than not, you find that a step/bio parent and the children too, feel ashamed to be members of a step family.

We live in a society that is changing day in day out. I can tell you for a fact that today, as you read this, there are quite a number of couples that are going through a divorce/separation right now, there are a number of men/women who have just lost their spouse to death and furthermore, there is an increase in the number of single parents in our society. Research shows that 80% of these people will get remarried later in life, therefore forming step families. It is no secret then that step families are an integral part of our society and it is ignorant not to accept that step families are here to stay.