Living in a nightmare

Joann - posted on 05/21/2014
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Hey y'all,I am just so lost anymore. Nothing seems to surprise me at all lately.I am a mother of 3 teenagers. 19, 15, 14well my youngest over the last year has been in so much trouble legally. She has had 3 battery charges and 3 disturbing the peace during school functions, I had to sit through a video of my daughter beating a boy unmercifully. twice, same kid.She runs away for 3-4 days at a time every couple of weeks. When she comes home she is so nasty and makes in apparent that she don't want to be here. Bosses us around and makes us feel like we are such horrible people for caring about her.

So I ended up putting her in a youth shelter thinking maybe I was doing something right, for once.Ha jokes on me cause her and another girl ran from there. we get a call she broke out with another girl, so we get up at 10;30 p.m. and proceed to do what we always do when she takes off, (spend hours driving around looking for her)

I saw her laid up in a hospital bed after seeing her almost die because she overdosed on her medication. ICU for 3 days. Touch and go for at least 48 hrs. because she took a ton of blood pressure meds with Ritalin. Ups and downs. I was so scared!! I never felt like I Haid to lock up her meds. Now I hate myself because I didn't!! Like it was my fault and I've failed her :(

She has been kicked out of 6 schools this year. She currently attends one that is ran by the juvenile justice system. You would think I'd get less phone calls home, right? Nope I get more and they are supposed to be able to control troubled kids.

I have been to court more times with her then I ever have in my 38 years of existence.

I just don't know what to do anymore?!?!?!

I have cried my heart out to the courts her doctors and to pretty much anyone who would listen. On Wednesday I was disappointed by the judges decision so I started to cry my heart out to him again, has to be at least the twelfth time . Only to hear his hands were tied. I expressed to him that I did not want her to pick up another charge or kill herself between now and the next court date because you continued this yet again. Man she was soooooo mad at me. She took off for 4 days.This time I was really worried about her. Before she left she was really upset with me. She told me I didn't care because I sold her out to the judge. usually dad plays that role. not this time. I'm really scared.

So I get this call today that she picked up another charge. REALLY?!?!?!? For the last year I have been begging the courts for help... NOW THIS!!! A big charge. I could go on for quite a few weeks about the things that have taken place and everyone who has failed my daughter and my family :( thanks y'all for letting me vent. its late and im tired. maybe I can get in a few hours tonight.tomorrow is gonna suck :(