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Monday, November 28, 2011

My stomach actually looked pretty flat this morning. I guess that's the result of 740 calories yesterday and less than 1000 calories the day before. The day before included some alcohol. And it's the result of (in no particular order) having sex, running (from the house I had been held against my will in), struggling while being restrained, being dehydrated, trying to hit/kick/injure the guy who was imprisoning me, and running back and forth in his house trying to get out. I've had a lot more calories today. But that's because I ended up having Dairy Queen for lunch because I had to go to the bank because of my debit card being stolen and with no car, I had to take my dad to work, wait til my bank opened, go there, wait for my mom to get off work (about 2 1/2 hours later), and then we had to drop the car off for my dad and then do some stuff in town and my mother wanted to get something to eat (she pick Dairy Queen) before we drove to the town that was supposed to have my car (the person couldn't get the door unlocked to the building it was in so we didn't get to see it) and then we went to Iowa to do some more stuff. I got to see AA today. It was the first time since he came back that I saw him. He gave me a necklace. I'll post a picture like tomorrow or the day after. Maybe pictures of the car too. AA has agreed to not get involved with drugs at all once he's off probation (he had wanted to get back into selling pot at one point after probation but said he doesn't want to anymore - possibly because of what happened to me). I'm still mentally and physically exhausted from what happened. I go through like phases where I can't sit still (I wanted to go out and run or exercise or do something along those lines earlier but it was really cold out and I didn't have anywhere I could go to exercise indoors) and phases where I'm beyond tired/worn out (like earlier after I went to the bank I ended up attempting to sleep in the car) and phases where I'm depressed and want to cry (sometimes something triggers this, other times it doesn't - I started crying in the car earlier and I'm not completely sure why). I'm supposed to train at work tomorrow. It's gonna be hard. I probably won't be reading many blogs until next week. If I even do then. Depends on all of the cop/legal/ect. stuff for everything. My posting may also end up sporadic or I'll do picture posts because I don't want to talk or whatever. So yeah... I probably won't eat much tomorrow. Because my stomach feels shitty right now and I haven't been hungry since Saturday (like during the day). Wednesday I'll post my weight. And then next Monday will probably be the soonest after that that I can weigh in. Well, I'm gonna shower and AA's supposed to call and then I'm going to bed.

It has been sooo long since i read your lovely blog, so i've had a good old catch up lol. I cant believe how eventful the last few days have been for you! really sorry to hear what happend, hope it all works out with your parents car!On a positive note its great that your keeping more on top of things weight wise, use that extra energy and keep it up.Jxxx

People

E - my daughter

K - friend, girl I work with at K-Mart

AA - friend, I've known him since I was 15, I like him and he likes me, lives about 2 1/2 hours away, not too sure what to say about him... he's gotten into some trouble with the law, currently on probation, he's funny and sweet, I trust him more than anyone

J - friend/ex-boyfriend, I've known him since I was 16, he's the nerdy, geeky type and in the Marines he like Star Wars and video games but he is funny and likes the same kind of music as me for the most part (rock, metal, techno) I never should have dated him when I did and he has agreed with me on that

D - husband, I haven't even known him 1 year, I want to divorce him but I can't afford to right now and it's kind of complicated

N - friend, I don't talk to her too much because her college friends and her boyfriend are more important, I've known her since we were in 3rd grade

T- sister, she's 1 1/2 years older than me she pretty much lives with her boyfriend and I don't talk to her much or even see her much and therefore don't talk about her too much and when I do I just refer to her as my sister

M - guy I met on my birthday, he's a drug dealer and college student and he's 24 and refuses to deal drugs to me and wants to hook up with me