The Secret To Attracting What You Want As An Entrepreneur

Is a true entrepreneur ever really fearful of taking action?

Sometimes I don’t know if I should call myself an entrepreneur or a business owner. To me, they’re two very different things.

Entrepreneur implies that I was the kid who collected nuts that fell from trees and realized that if you rubbed one of those nuts on the ground and immediately touched it to someone’s skin, it burned like hell. That kid ends up calling them “Hot Nuts” and selling them for five cents a piece to the neighborhood kids.

But that was my sister. Not me.

I just quietly watched it all happen, thinking the neighborhood kids were idiots for falling for it, as I sat barefoot on my bike in the Miami summer heat.

I don’t really know. And I don’t really know that it matters. All I know is that I’m doing what I’m being called to do. It doesn’t mean I don’t question it. I’m human, so of course I do. But if I were to stay in that questioning state of mind, I would stop moving forward.

I see this in other business owners as well. Taking this all so seriously can bring up fears and those fears lead right into procrastination. Then they enter a vicious cycle of fear, procrastination, self-criticism, and doubt. This cycle goes nowhere fast.

Butprocrastination is not an option. We must take action on our ideas.

What if we stopped taking it all so seriously?

What if we stopped trying to put a tidy label on what we are or aren’t, or walking a narrow, one-way path we think should logically lead towards entrepreneurial success? What if we stopped trying to “get it right?”

I have been the first to say, this is serious shit! And when I do say this, I go straight to my limiting story. It goes something like: I’m a single mom and totally responsible for my kids. What if I can’t feed them, house them, clothe them… I HAVE to do this right. Or I will fail as a mother, business owner… and a slew of other labels that pour out of the untidy survival kit in my brain.

If you’ve gone there, you know that this type of thinking can easily turn into rumination – that constant replaying of the disasters that can happen, the fears you have, all the ways you fucked up in the past.

The past two years of running my own business, though, has helped me expand.

What I know now for certain is that running your life and business like this will not work.

It cannot possibly lead to success because you become addicted to grasping and chasing things in order to survive.

I’ve been following therapist and life coach John Kim (The Angry Therapist) for a while and recently signed up for his SHFT Catalyst Coaching Intensive. I like the way he explains how chasing and attracting are two different mindsets that get us two very different results.

“Chasing seems empowering but it’s actually a de-powering state. It shoots us down into a lower frequency. Our chasing state is lined with desperation. We tie our worth to what we’re chasing and if we don’t get what we’re going after, we believe we have less worth. So give whatever or whoever we’re chasing the power. By chasing we are losing our sense of self. Whenever we lose our stance — sense of self, we are watered down and not living at our potential. And this state doesn’t attract anything. It becomes the opposite. We become a flipped magnet.” – How to Really Attract What You Want in Life, John Kim

I watch business owners all the time who are doing a lot more chasing than attracting. When you’re chasing, you end up taking clients who don’t align with what you’re about, taking on projects you dread, or sitting at your laptop and not having any fun at all.

You just stop loving what you do. You stop even semi-liking it.

I’ve been there more than I’d like. But I’m also not afraid to give myself a push and exit my comfort zone to keep growing. The one thing I’ve always had going for me is that I am not afraid of change. I actually crave it.

So, how do you work past the fear, stop chasing, and start attracting what you want?

You remember how to play.

(You had to know it was going to be annoyingly simple.)

Go back to having fun. This means you stop trying so hard, and see how you are chasing those things you think will help you survive. Then replace the “chasing” with “playing.”

It means you re-learn how to become playful. This looks different for everyone – it’s doing what you really want to do. At this moment, for instance, I’m playing by writing this blog post. This is fun for me!

But yes, it is easier said than done.

It means that you don’t obsess on how many names you have on your list or how many likes or comments you get on your posts. You do this for YOU and remember that’s why you are doing it in the first place.

Admittedly, I can obsess better than most…

So, It’s something that becomes a regular reminder. What I know and what continually gets reinforced for me is that you keep going. One foot in front of the other. And the rewards are immense.

I’m on a journey, just like you are. And so are all the other marketing pros and business owners you may see out there who can seem superhuman. Only, they’re not superhuman – like their Facebook ads depict them. They haven’t reached the “Perfect Place.” That’s all an illusion that comes from marketing and creating online personas.

But one of the things I feel I’m meant to do as I help business owners to create a strong and authentic brand, is to walk the talk and model my own authenticity. So I like to bring you along for the ride. This means I also share the questioning when it comes up… and remind you that on the bad days when doubt creeps in, you’re not alone. And that does NOT make you any less of an entrepreneur.

If you want me to pretend to be superhuman, we’re not a very good fit. Transparency is an essential part of my own brand and I really couldn’t do it any other way.

Maybe that’s what I get for being the kid to silently crack the whole “Hot Nuts” fiasco.

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