Ever since we read about Moore's hilarious b-day burnout, we couldn't help but feel like we'd heard this story before.

That's because we have. Rockers, rappers, and, clearly, even Sonic the Hedgehog sound-and-look-a-like dubsteppers have all been there and done that. And there's usually even YouTube footage to prove it.

Green Day is the least punk band ever. And although lighting your drums on fire will at least secure you the number 10 spot on this list, doing it night after night is obnoxiously wasteful and stomach-churningly decadent. Who the fuck is this guy? Caligula?

9. Crüe vs. Sabbath: Self-Destructive Pissing Contest

Nikki Sixx and the Ozzman squared off to see who was a bigger freak and, uh, Ozzy won. Ya know how he looked/sounded/smelled during The Osbournes? Well, you get that way by snorting ants like you're Tony Montana about to go in for the kill. And can you blame him? He was up against the Motley Crüe founder's no-holds-barred almost-trump-card trick up his sleeve: setting himself on fire. Of course, no one ever remembers that part of the story. And why would they? Ozzy Osbourne inhaled insects as though they were powdered narcotics!