Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Talking to CN today reminded me again as to how hard it is for us to start the hugging process. With anyone, especially if it's the people we like, people we care about, people we love. She has a hard time hugging her parents. I remember going through something similar myself years ago and have managed to change that. It was a gradual change but it has worked so I know it does. So I told her that she can definitely change it if she really wants to. She said she gets to see her parents once every week and feels awkward to start the process but with the suggestion I gave her, she's gonna give it a try. I hope it works. :) Even her kids have noticed, "mommy, how come you never give a hug to grandma?"

It might be awkward at first so start by the sideways hug. This is the kind where you just put your arm on the shoulders of the person standing next to you that you wanna hug and do *pat pat pat* on their other-faraway shoulder. This kind of hug works great for starters. It also works for those completely awkward people who wanna stay 10 miles away from and steer clear from, but are forced to hug because you're hugging every single other person and they might feel left out. Make sure you don't turn them into the Aspi-hug ;) when you don't want that to happen. But seriously, give hugs to people. Don't hold back. It's like a therapy for the hugger and the huggie and increases love and reduces stress.

Hug times: the best times are when you're leaving to go out, just coming home, just meeting the person, or saying bye to them. This way, it's like a hello or bye-bye, but with a hug and doesn't look too emotional, if you care about such things. And then once you feel comfy, hugging becomes so natural and doesn't feel like something out of place.