MayHug, please have someone (not you!) call this idiot and say "You'll have to rent some scaffolding. MayHug won't be going through the garage anytime soon, and she won't be loaning any of DH's items when she does. Please don't ask again." Give them permission to get ugly if he argues rather than slinks off in shame like he ought to.

People come out of the woodwork in times like this. Have someone who can run interference for you. Heck I'll do it if you want to PM me his number!!

I'm w/ JenJay. Right down to the offer to make the call myself.

Just delegate it to someone who says, "is there anything I can do?"

Say, "Yes, would you call this guy and tell him that I won't be loaning out the scaffolding, and he'll have to get it somewhere else, and to please not contact mebother me about it again?"

The best piece of advice here is don't do anything for at least 6 months to a year. This next year, all year will be very difficult because you will relive all the important events in your lives. Take care and remember the good times you shared.