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Pastor’s Wives?

I woke up this morning thinking of pastor’s wives, of how challenging that job might be, and feeling rather grateful I am not one. I am married to a roofer. All in good fun here, but when one is married to a roofer, nobody expects much from you.

Let me tell you, it’s a good thing I am not a pastor’s wife because I think I would just descend in to my irreverent humor and perpetual sarcasm and really make a mess of everything.

There are two things that make me crazy about being married, one is other people projecting their expectations onto you and the other one is being the designated complaint department.

I encounter these two things once in a blue moon. Expectations are like, either frowning disapproval over something I have done or not done, or else the assumption that I am available 24/7 so if I ever say “no” it must be because I am just mean. You can just give everyone a ride, watch their kids, stop at the store for them…you’re going there anyway. Setting boundaries can be hard, people can get cranky when you aren’t unconditionally available at all times.

Then there are the stupid questions around expectations, status, and control. Why is there a transmission laying in your front yard? Well, obviously I drug it home because I wanted a lawn ornament. Are you ever going to get rid of that piece of junk? No, I like it there, it’s called yard art.

Are you ready for Christmas? Does it really matter? Is it actually going to wait for me?

You can see my problem, how to win friends and influence people is not on the top of my list of priorities. I suspect that pastor’s wives do not really have the freedom to indulge in endless sarcasm, forever lamenting the nature of people.

Being the perpetual complaint department is another issue. Sometimes I will go to the gas station and someone will say, “I saw your husband this morning he wasn’t in a very good mood. What’s wrong with him?” Well I don’t know, he was quite nice to me this morning. Maybe it’s you he doesn’t like?

Now amplify all these issues ten times over and I imagine those are some of the things Pastor’s wives have to deal with all the time. Keep them in your prayers, will you? Let’s lift them up and encourage them today.

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13 thoughts on “Pastor’s Wives?”

And that is only one part of a Pastor’s wife’s “life. In many churches, she is expected to play the piano, teach Sunday School. Be ready to fill in for another teacher who cannot make it to Sunday School. As well, be in control of lunches for the after funeral gatherings. Lead a lady’s Bible Study. Pray 24/7 for the congregation. Visit the sick. And be dressed up all the time at home for visitors from church who drop in to unload all the troubles and baggage.
Oh. And raise perfect sons and daughters.

I am married to a master plumber and all I worry about are the off-hours phone calls or people wanting him to do plumbing for them on his days off. I don’t know if I could be ‘on point’ on a regular basis with an audience paying attention and ready to criticize at the slightest perceived ‘wrong’. I would mess it up, too!

Good post. I though about the same subject a while back and interviewed my pastors wife. Which I posted here, she was also the subject of another post “Please help” when she was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer which I am am thankful to give praise that her last doctors appointment was cancer free. Thank you for bringing attention to these wonderful women. God bless you.

They all do need our prayers. Pastors have to attend countless meetings; funerals and hospital visits as well and you can only imagine how quick a pastor can become drained and relying on not just God but their wife as well. Great post.