If you’re lucky, you’ll get five days off of work after the loss of a loved one. But what happens when you return to work and the real grief sets in? Here are a few thoughts on how to deal with the loss of a loved one when you still have to work:

Be kind to yourself. Take the time off that you need. And allow yourself to work at a slower speed. Ask others for a little help, and by the same token, offer your help to those you know are struggling with a loss.

Action is key. Don’t get stuck in darkness and despair. Instead keep focused on things outside of you and your grief. As Andy Dufresne said in Shawshank Redemption, “Get busy living, or get busy dying.”

Honor your loved one. The passing of a loved one tends to give you perspective in recognizing what matters most to you and what you’re spending your precious time on. But don’t let this fresh perspective lead you to make brash changes. Take some time before re-evaluating life’s goals.