Monday, September 8, 2014

New Yorker Anti Caption Contest #442

WINNERS

FIRST
PLACE

"Where
in hell did you learn to drive?" --Jim Cavanaugh(JUDGE'S COMMENT: This was the first cap
entered in this contest and Jimbo knocked it out of the park. Laugh
out loud funny. Maybe Jim's best anti-cap ever. It is also hit home.
Full disclosure: It's something I often want to yell at Chinese women
driving minivans.)

SECOND
PLACE

"We
should have listened to that guy yelling, 'You're gonna have to
swerve, somebody.'"--NJtoTX(JUDGE'S COMMENT: A masterful combination of a Dylan lyric and a
terrible pun. "Gotta
Serve Somebody" also takes note of the devil so it is
appropriate for the image.)

THIRD
PLACE

"I
know I backed into you, but can we just blame you like we always
do?"--NJtoTX
(JUDGE'S COMMENT: Unlikely that the angel would ask permission before
assigning blame. Metaphorically, the devil may represent victims who
have been demonized. This may also be a statement about the conflict
that tears at the soul of every man. )

HONORABLE
MENTIONS

"I
still love you" "I hate you even more"--Don
Don (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Evil does not thrive on hate. It's more of a
conquest thing. An even so, the accident is clearly the fault of the
devil. You don't address that, do you Don?)

Fuckn-A
Satan, we just crushed the shit out of Ollie from Kukla, Fran ans
Ollie.--big G (JUDGE'S COMMENT: I don't get this but I thought
it should be praised because I recall KF&O from my childhood.)

"The
caption police should be here any minute."--Veteran
crapper and total loser (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Remember, the caption
police at the NYer won't let you get away with dirty words, racism,
sexism, bad taste and horrible puns. They offer no quarter to the
humorless semi-coherent rantings of the dissatisfied masses. They
know not the value of Dylan references included only to placate the
judge. Does this mean we should form an anti-caption police force?
This could get ugly.)

The
first rule of anti-capping is that your entry could NEVER ever even
be considered for the real contest. Keep this in mind--Veteran
capper and repeated winner (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Actually the first rule
of anti-capping is: Never tell anyone outside the family what you're
thinking.)