Friday, December 31, 2010

I feel hungover absent alcohol. My head's in a fog...like the last hour of a mescaline odyssey... the door to any perception is closing. 2010, soon to be last year, was like living through a Grimm Fairy Tale. A witch ran for the United States Senate...truth is even stranger than that might suggest. The Mad Hatter's Tea Party took root and grew, like my head feels, across the land...and, once built, the people came, carrying large weapons to show theycan...people that would smile if they could share wealth yelled commie! at our leader and demanded no change to their crappy health care. The Republican House got a boner...sorry, Boehner, and, Mr. Boner...Where are the friggin jobs??!! Okay, I'm takin a breath. I think I made him cry. And I'm thinkin...if 2010 was this much of a trip...what the hell will we wake up to in the morning? Sometimes I wish God was real....

Monday, December 27, 2010

Breaking News! An unusual report from the Mid East states that Pontius Pilate, who has not yet been born, will try and order the crucifixion of the newly born infant, Jesus Christ, who will be executed on Good Friday, April 22nd, 2011. Sources tell us the infant will have become an adult and will rise from the dead within 3 days. Also, something about saving the Shroud....

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

In what world is a holiday greeting considered politically incorrect? I can only suppose that Christians are behind the nasty movement against the use of "Happy Holidays"...trying to make said users feel ungodly somehow. But, there are other people on Earth I would like to send greetings to. Like Jews and Muslims and Hindus and atheists and agnostics and even Republicans. So with a wide brush I say "Happy Holidays" to everyone, and if you have no holiday to celebrate, share one of ours.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Everyone seems very upset about the SECRETS that Julian Assange has allowed to be published on the WikiLeaks website. http://wikileaks.ch/ Michael Moore is asking a few intriguing questions on his website http://www.michaelmoore.com/, like, what if we had such a tool when our government lied to us saying the North Vietnamese had fired on a U.S. Ship in August of 1964. Or, perhaps the events of September 11th, 2001 could have been avoided or been different had a WikiLeaks warned us of how the FBI and fellow agencies were ignoring what their own agents were saying. I suggest we will all someday require diapers...some Depends like tool to prevent our own leaks. And, although we do not praise the Depends generation for its weaknesses, we can see the merit in its use.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Well, there they go again. Trying to make it easier to bring guns along just about anywhere...bars, restaurants, sporting events. Ohio SB 239 and 247 look good to pass, with the Neanderthals running Ohio now. I have a fuzzy memory of a time when gun control was thought to be sensible and Ohio had a few progressive people left. We must be shooting for last place among states again. Check out the NRA's website for their latest rants: http://www.nraila.org/

Monday, December 6, 2010

I used to think that, as I grew older, fewer things would amaze me. It is true that fewer things frighten me...fear is reduced by proximity to death, but I can still be amazed. The American people amaze me. Two years after they put the first black man in the White House - other than the chef - they may be on the verge of convincing an Alaskan Governor, one who just up and quit the job, the star of a reality show, a woman with a big gun, to run for President in 2012. Amazing. And as we speak, the Congress is arguing the merits of allowing the richest people on Earth to keep tax cuts they don't need - cuts that, if continued, will hurt the economy, while they hold off on help for the unemployed. Amazing. And the American people vote these people into office. Amazing. I plan to try to curb my amazement. Also to lose weight. Artemus Ward said it best: "Why is this thus? What is the reason for this thusness?" WTF?

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Did you ever wonder why, when piles of snow melt, it doesn't look like milk running off the curb and into a river of milk in the street?

I love the saying, "I don't give a rat's ass," to suggest you reallydon't care about something. It helps me avoid the conversation to explain "I could not care less," to someone that will never get it and forever says "I could care less." However, if I do care about something, should I have a pocket full of rat's asses just in case?