Hey guys, I know it's been ages since I posted anything, but not enough is happening to write about haha.

My autumn break is coming to an end now and I have my first test on monday and my drama performance (about the Osiris legend if anyone wants to know) and I am so nervous! I've never liked talking in front of a class much, I'm more than okay with that now, but playing a part and crying and yelling in front of my whole class, it feels kinda dorky.

But hey, that's alright. After that there's way more to do, all has to be finished before november 3rd. I'll put all the assignments under the cut so you can see how much of work that is haha.

Welcome back from the list of h*ll, or if you haven't read it, glad you're still here.

In other news I have a date next week! I'm really excited but also very nervous. We're going to the zoo, which is like a 2 hour ride for both of us, since he lives on the other side of the country. I'll write an entry when I get home and let you know how everything went. Any tips are welcome though, I don't want to screw this up!

Now I have to go walk the dogs and head off to my aunt's birthday, I need to catch my train! It's nice to finally be able to post someting again, even though it's about nothing!

Okay, this is so not me lol, to post twice a day. But I just found out that my very legal download of Nip/Tuck S01E07 is in GERMAN! I only downloaded it for Alex Carter, never watched anything of the series. But it just annoys me that I'm not able to hear what he says because it's dubbed. I can perfectly understand what it's about, because I do understand German, but it just bugs me lol.

He seems to be playing a very funny role, and I didn't get it completely, but it seems like he grew breasts or something and he shows it and I laughed my ass off.

So to come to the point (lol), I'd like to know where I can find this episode, a download which is not dubbed(I don't care about subs in any language). So... hopefully someone in my f-list can help me find: Nip/Tuck S01E07.

Thanks in advance!

ETA: rhcp_csi has been a great help (thank you so much), though that download also turned out to be dubbed in German :( So problem still isn't solved :(.

So, here's what I've been up to the past few days/weeks. I've been making a new community, centered around my favorite actor Alex Carter, who some of you might know as Detective Vartann in CSI Las Vegas. Of course he's been acting in more series than that, and some movies as well.

And because there's not much information on what he's up to, and no fancommunity whatsoever, I decided I'd start one. So here it is: ac_stilness (and I only just now see I missed an 'l', anyone know how to fix that?) which I want to organize icon challenges on if enough people join and are interested. For now it's just a community to post everything Alex Carter related.

Okay, I know not many people read my LJ, so spread the word please. I'm thinking about setting up a new community centered around one of my obsessions. Being actor Alex Carter (those of you who don't know him, he's Detective Vartann from CSI:LV) and the cancelled series Veritas the Quest (which also has him in it). So... let me know what appeals to you most by voting this very large *ahum* poll.

Thought it was time again for an update, it's been awhile. As you can see I've been working on a new header for my LJ (go me), and I decided to go public again (instead of friends only), cause I'd like to meet some more people out here :)

My LJ is like always under construction, I'm planning to make my own Veritas the Quest moodtheme (same as the banner), but it's probably gonna take some time. Anyone know what size is best for a moodtheme? Oh and uhm, my LJ people have disappeared somewhere in the HTML, so now you don't get that fun puppet in front of the name... help?

Furthermore I'm on lunch break now, between my work. It's too hot to do chores *sigh* I'm looking like a tomato I tell you! So uhm, I better get something to eat and get my ass back on my bike to cycle to my next work address. Yayers!

I really really need to get out of here, like seriously. My parents are just driving me insane, I can't handle it anymore, I'm afraid I'll burst!

It all started yesterday when my mom got home from her holiday with my brother. The first, maybe the second thing she said to me was: "you gained weight." Argh! I had to try and tell her that I don't lack the motivation to lose the weight, but it's just not working, it hasn't worked in ten years!

A few weeks ago I was diagnosed with an eating disorder, somewhere between bulimia and binge eating disorder. It scared me and my parents, but now they've seemed to completely forgotten that food is an addiction to me. Just as cigarettes and alcohol can be to people. And I'm trying to find help for it, but haven't yet. These past weeks it's been going okay, but now that my mom is bothering me with it again (while she knows not to comment on my weight, I do that myself 24/7), she still did.

So now that I think I finally got her to understand to not talk about my weight, we start the next one. A job. Not the one (or two) I have now, but no, the one they want me to get on a saturday so I can help finance my expensive college. No problem, saving up money for that now. But they can't seem to understand that I've been doing all I can to find a job here for the saturday, but there just isn't one available. And once I find one, it will have to be in a store, where I won't be able to make more money than 50 a month!

If I need to finance my school alone, I'll just have to get a student loan, because it's all too expensive. But they don't get it! They think the only thing I do during the day is be lazy, pick my nose and sleep! They are so wrong! I'm working my ass off to save money for college, and all the other things I'll need. I'm trying to save for my own apartment (which I sooo need) and for my driving lessons.

And then to top it all they don't take me serious as I tell them there's something I need to go to the doctor for. I'm afraid that I have Crohn's disease, but nah, they just think I'm overreacting.

It's been like ages since I posted here, and I haven't spoken to many of you over the past few weeks. My life has just been up side down. For a month I've lived another life it feels. There's so much going on in my life, which I can't even begin to explain. My dad lost his job, I have to get help from my psych to get rid of my bulimia and I lost my boyfriend.

I'll just keep it short, it's still so fresh. I just broke up with him this morning. It's a really weird feeling. On the one hand I miss him, and on the other side I'm relieved. We were just too different and I wasn't in love anymore, and gladly it turned out he wasn't anymore either. We decided it was better to stop fooling ourselves and break up, but it still hurts.

And then to top it all I sprained my foot and had to quit my vacation to Paris and Disneyland *grumble* Life just keeps getting better.

This was the start of what I thought was going to be a good day. My grandpa and grandma will visit today and have Easter dinner with us, and tomorrow I'll go see my other grandma for her birthday and meet up with all my cousins whom I haven't seen in nearly a year.

It all started with Easter breakfast this morning, we had all kinds of sweet things, easter bread, raisin bread, chocolate spread, toast and eggs. Then when I decided to change my pajamas for some normal clothes, I made the mistake to weigh myself. Now I know you should never weigh yourself after eating, but I figured I'd just delete the 'breakfast pounds' in my mind.

What I saw next scared the hell out of me. I am fat, very very fat. The arrow nearly reached the 200 pounds (90 kg), this is a weight I've never ever reached before and am so not proud of. More specifically, it depresses me. So for the rest of the day, no chocolate eggs or sweets for me. I NEED to lose all this extra fat. Especially if you know I used to be like 50 pounds lighter. This is what mono does to you! Ugh, I'll stick to a dry bread and water diet.

Eee! Livejournal can be so frustrating when you haven't used it in a while. I already suck at HTML, but getting your own layout is like the worst thing ever. So for now, I'm sticking with a standard one... And when I find the muse to make a new banner, I'll go change it ;)

So, as an update. My mono is finally getting better, so I'm full of energy. I'm gonna apply for a job at a local hotel today (it's like a 5 minute walk from my house) and hope they'll have me. So then I'll be working till like the end of august and then start university again in september.

I suck, my third time being a freshman in university. This is going to be the last one, I promise. I'm sticking with this, whatever it may be. Probably English :)

Well, as my life is very boring at the moment, that's about all I have to tell ya. Heading off the gym soon, boy how I missed that.