Long before the heart attack can take hold, I'm sure suicide gets most of these bald gods of de facto infertility. The finally turn on the bathroom light one morning, usually keeping it off to avoid looking at themselves while they shave, and realize that there are so many men with a full head of hair on the planet that why would a woman ever consider them? They aren't rich because after their losing bout with genetic chemotherapy, they can't get a decent job or a promotion. They aren't worldly because they spend all their free time looking through hair plug magazines and rubbing eskimo come on their heads instead of improving themselves. And they sure as hell aren't good in bed, unless there's a group of women out there who get intense pleasure out of watching a guy jack off half a dozen times in row. They realize, standing there with the razor in their hands which they'll use to make themselves even balder so as to feel in some kind of control over it, these men realize that they're like the dead skin cells of the human race, used up and rubbed off by the nagging itch of propositioned women's eye rolls and mocking laughs. So, they do what men do when they realize there's no hope of happiness -- they slide the straight razor across their jugular, spilling all their red self loathing down their bare and mockingly hairy chests. At least then they can look at themselves in the mirror one last time and know they've stood up for themselves.

Also the link on the bottom of the page says "Men who had started to develop bald spots on the top of their heads as well as receding hairlines had a 29% to 45% reduction in the risk of prostate cancer." so all men are screwed either way.

Could be. Seems like just about every bald guy I know is also a type A personality who does an excellent impersonation of an unstoppable machine- then somewheres between 40 and 50 major systems start breaking down dramatically.

spentmiles:Long before the heart attack can take hold, I'm sure suicide gets most of these bald gods of de facto infertility. The finally turn on the bathroom light one morning, usually keeping it off to avoid looking at themselves while they shave, and realize that there are so many men with a full head of hair on the planet that why would a woman ever consider them? They aren't rich because after their losing bout with genetic chemotherapy, they can't get a decent job or a promotion. They aren't worldly because they spend all their free time looking through hair plug magazines and rubbing eskimo come on their heads instead of improving themselves. And they sure as hell aren't good in bed, unless there's a group of women out there who get intense pleasure out of watching a guy jack off half a dozen times in row. They realize, standing there with the razor in their hands which they'll use to make themselves even balder so as to feel in some kind of control over it, these men realize that they're like the dead skin cells of the human race, used up and rubbed off by the nagging itch of propositioned women's eye rolls and mocking laughs. So, they do what men do when they realize there's no hope of happiness -- they slide the straight razor across their jugular, spilling all their red self loathing down their bare and mockingly hairy chests. At least then they can look at themselves in the mirror one last time and know they've stood up for themselves.

cynicalbastard:Could be. Seems like just about every bald guy I know is also a type A personality who does an excellent impersonation of an unstoppable machine- then somewheres between 40 and 50 major systems start breaking down dramatically.

Interesting. My dad was bald and while he was thought of as a excellent businessman and his professional acquaintances had wonderful things to say about him, at home with us he was an insufferable prick.

DerAppie:Yeah, maybe because baldness is a symptom while being fat is a cause?

They've narrowed that one down for the most part, its genetic.

And funnily enough its caused by DHT, a hormone that affects sexual drive and prostate function as well. So, showing that the world is not without irony, those with male pattern baldness often have higher sex drives and less prostate cancer.

I'm not a smoker and in great physical shape... unfortunately, I also have hair loss, gum disease, and am spending my free time in smoky bars... so yeah, I should be dead from a heart attack right about aarrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhh

Testosterone is converted to Dihydrotestosterone (DHT) by the enzyme 5-alpha reductase. DHT is the more active form of Testosterone. While normally, about 5% of Testosterone gets converted to DHT, some men have an increased conversion rate.

These men have more androgens (yes, the same type of hormones athletes pump into themselves) which can increase certain factors such as -- Male Pattern Baldness, increased triglycerides, and lowering of high density lipoprotein cholesterols (HDL -- the good cholesterol). There is a highly significant association with increased triglycerides and coronary heart disease.

Meh. My grandpa was bald, drank a bottle of whiskey everyday starting in his 50's and lived to be 97. Every male in my dad's side of the family is bald and everyone of them is going strong. What's their secret?

They're all insufferable assholes.

So throw rocks at that puppy. Shoot at children playing on your lawn. Drive on the sidewalk in the highest pedestrian areas of your city. Hide the T.V. remote. Visit the FARK politics tab. Being an incredible asshole everyday is healthier than a daily dose of vitamin C.

I'm seriously considering going on Accutane. I'm 32. Mildly depressed and slightly going bald. So I figure why the hell not? I have a stunning profile pic in case you fine ladies are curious about this prime example of Tarzan...I mean, Fabio...err Denzel..wait...

A little off topic but, listening to Kevin Smith's 'Hollywood Babble On' podcast the other day they read an email from somebody living in Manchester England. KS immediately started singing Manchester England England, Across the Atlantic Sea! I thought I was the only person who always did that.

Crewmannumber6:cynicalbastard: Could be. Seems like just about every bald guy I know is also a type A personality who does an excellent impersonation of an unstoppable machine- then somewheres between 40 and 50 major systems start breaking down dramatically.

Interesting. My dad was bald and while he was thought of as a excellent businessman and his professional acquaintances had wonderful things to say about him, at home with us he was an insufferable prick.

In other words, like a lot of other Type A's. For a classic movie example, Robert Duvall's character in "The Great Santini."

However, the researchers said the risks were less than for smoking or obesity.

I wonder how many farkers are balding fat smokers?

......of course these bastards will live to be 110 because it has been said that being cynical, self serving, egotistical, selfish and sarcastic will more than compensate and make up for an otherwise poor health and genetic disadvantages.

cynicalbastard:Crewmannumber6: cynicalbastard: Could be. Seems like just about every bald guy I know is also a type A personality who does an excellent impersonation of an unstoppable machine- then somewheres between 40 and 50 major systems start breaking down dramatically.

Interesting. My dad was bald and while he was thought of as a excellent businessman and his professional acquaintances had wonderful things to say about him, at home with us he was an insufferable prick.

In other words, like a lot of other Type A's. For a classic movie example, Robert Duvall's character in "The Great Santini."

Funny you should mention that, my cousin and I used to joke that movie was based on him.