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While people were partying on the shores of Boracay for the Labor Day long weekend, I set out with a few friends and officemates to take on yet another camping trip. Coming from my first camping experience at Nagsasa, I thought I would be prepared.

But nothing prepared me for a practice session of staying in hell…(dun dun dun dun)

So because there was talk that the rapture would be happening on May 21, I decided to spend the rest of my hours on earth before a zombie apocalypse by watching a movie.

No, it wasn’t an Aga-Angel movie. I decided to watch Priest. Because it was timely with the rapture and the best way to spend your remaining hours on earth is to bask in the hot glories of Paul Bettany, Cam Gigandet, and Maggie Q.

Priest is a post-apocalyptic movie about how the Church has become so badass its priests are now highly capable warriors with fierce red cross markings on their foreheads. The Church is the last frontier, tasked not only with spiritual guidance but also protection from the outside world that has become a wasteland home to vampires that they thought they have eliminated long ago.

The story of Priest isn’t special. It is very direct and even something to be expected considering its genre. It is a story of redemption and going badass action on monsters that try to kidnap your daughter, a daughter you fathered before you pledged unwavering loyalty to the Church which turned out to be disillusioned with pride and ego. Sounds too familiar with the real life Church?

Now if you really want to watch this movie, do it for the fight scenes and the beautifully created setting. Real eye candy. Plus the creepy vampires are really creepy and will shock the bejeezus out of you in the most shocking moments. Shocker.

The social commentary, yes there was one, of the movie on the Church’s hardheadedness to cling to the old ways and refuse to evolve with the needs of its flock is a direct reflection of real life. That the Church has become just an establishment, and is as far removed from what God is supposed to represent as humans are. But if priests were as hot as Paul Bettany or Maggie Q, then I am so going to church despite their hardheadedness on the RH Bill. Yes, I just went there.

So now that 6pm has come and gone and I am still here. There are only two reasons: either I’m going to hell caused I missed the rapture, or the rapture has been delayed so I can watch the second installment of Priest.

I won’t be surprised if one of these days a person would run amok because of the craziness of our bureaucratic system. The system is filled with so much red tape, I’m surprised our government buildings are not colored red. The system is so slow, I’m surprised a wormhole in the fabric of time hadn’t opened up and swallowed them yet.

Left: the film's protagonist C: his hunky assistant R: one of the Last Suppers being considered for a corned beef advertisement

Last night I was able to watch the Cinemalaya 5’s Best Picture: the comedic tale of Last Supper No. 3. I would like to place emphasis on how other universities suck, because UP unlike them, has again sponsored the re-showing of these year’s Cinemalaya entries. Hurrah for liberal education! Hurrah for freedom of the UP Film Institute! Hurrah for me being a UP student! Sucks to be you other university students!

Anyway.

Last Supper No. 3 is about the riveting tale of a gay production assistant who loses a measly Last Supper tapestry and the series of unfortunate bureaucratic events which escalated after that. The comic attack of the film on one of the biggest problems of our country is effective and will indeed send you in a laughing fit. But after laughing so hard from all the Murphy’s Law (everything that can go wrong, WILL go wrong) action that is happening in the screen, the movie will make you think: why do we even have this sort of problem?

The bone of contention: Last Supper No.3

The bureaucracy is supposed to bring order by presenting a system which works and functions for the convenience of the people. But oftentimes this is not the case. Long lines, frustrating employees, dilapidated structures, fucked-up justice system, no wonder people are not fans of the prospect of entering a government building.

For what it is worth, the film deserves to win for one important aspect: it provides a refreshing take on an important but already mundanely-perceived subject. Plus Maricel Soriano and Ricky Davao made cameos. Plus it is far better than the dizzying darkness of Engkwentro.