An Interview with AJ

(WARNING: THIS INTERVIEW IS RATED 16 FOR THE USE OF EXCESSIVE ABUSES AND MENTION TO LADIES AND GENTS UNDERGARMENTS… READING DISCRETION IS ADVISED BUT IF YOU REALLY WANT TO READ IT THEN GO AHEADBECAUSE I KNOW NONE OF YOU IS THAT INNOCENT :P)

Writer’s Note: This interview is heavily edited; it may sound bogus to you. But to me it’s a link between me and the friend I conducted the interview of. Anyhow, by editing I meant, the answers of some questions are shuffled to make the interview fun but rest assured I didn’t answer any of the questions myself I just took his answers and pasted them as the answer of some other question. Also, I have censored some random words with beeps as well. And as always in the bracket you will find what I truly think.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Madame and Monsieurs, Smee again… And here I am despite your criticism and booing to bring you yet another interview… I know you hate me and guess what I hate you too now why don’t you go try bungee jumping without a bungee. Anyhow, you have the basic concept of what I do so, I wont waste my oh so precious time in explaining to you dung brains what I do, so today its going to be Mr. Asjad Saleemi on the HOT SEAT. So, give it up for Mr. Asjad Saleemi (that means start clapping you morons).

Me: Salam

Aj:Wasalam (wow we have a Muslim amongst us who replies a Salam with a Wallaikum Salam and not Hi :P)

Me:What is your name?

Aj: *settles his shirt* (wow -.-‘ you do that before the interview begins you dumb shit) Cesc Asjad Saleemi(wow and people ask how is the western society destroying our own… JUST TAKE A LOOK AT HIS FREAKING NAME!)

Me: Uh, ok. Describe your so called friends first go for the friends who are girls and then boys.

Aj: Girls? Like Boys, some are good. Some are bad. ALL are a drag

Me: and boys?

Aj: My brothers. My jiggers. A word for all the boys

“Jo dost LARKAY ho saktay hain, woh KABHI LARKIYAN NAHEEN HO SAKTEEN, SO DONT DITCH UR FRIENDS WHO ARE BOYS FOR GIRLS NO MATTER HOW CHEESY THE GIRL CAN GET. LARKAY ARE TRUE FRIENDS.”(That was a paragraph you dodo head not a word) In a totally gayish way (uhh… wow gay -.-‘)

Me:Right… gay… So I hear you are pretty intimate with some friends…

Aj: I am intimate with a lot of friends in a lot of special ways.

Me:define your special ways

Aj:a friend of me. I am pretty intimate with him. He’s one of my best friends, but also my love guru who advices me on the love situations so he’s up close personal with me that’s one category

Me: Uh, again didn’t ask for his life story. Move on.

Aj: the other is, a sister I CAN FLIRT WITH (wow flirting with his sister o.o)

Me:tell us about this sister

Aj:She is a best friend. Very close. Haven’t seen her in real. She’s a best friend first, then a sister. Claims I filled the gap of a brother in her life. She’s a sister I can flirt with. (Wow, never knew they came in flavors. So you just go and ask for a sister you can flirt with?:P)

Me: So in these seventeen of your existence have you done something that you are proud of?

Aj: I abused a girl and I scored a goal with my BUTT, while playing football. (uh wow haven’t you been living your life to the fullest… Your life is complete now go die :P)

Me: So what is the happiest moment of your life?

Aj:When I scored the goal against the team I had a fight with. Rivals and it was the winning goal and it was just an awesome experience. P.S: CHIKS WERE WATCHING THE MATCH

Me: Interesting life. So you love football?

Aj:I don’t love it. It’s just my hobby, Sir.

Me: Oh any other hobbies?

Aj:(beep)ing and Music.

Me: Wow, so do you (beep) someone? Or just watch.

Aj:Professionally? No.

Me:And for fun?

Aj:Yes, as long as I don’t hurt.

Me:Who do you (beep) with?

Aj: My Pillow.

Me: (laughs) so who usually is on top

Aj: *settles his shirt* ahem.. My Pillow. (That’s just sad)

Me: Uh, other than that have you ever (beep)ed someone else like a girl?

Aj: No

Me: Uh… who would be the dream person for you to you know get ahem with…

Aj: Adebayor

Me: That TMI dude… Anyhow speaking of Adebayor, which position do you play in?

Me: uhh… I am going to hate to be asking you this but what are they doing or wearing that makes it a dirty dream?

Aj: MOHSIN IS IN HIS BRA

Me: Uh… dude that’s one visual I really don’t want stop right there. Um, just for general knowledge, Mohsin in his Undies or Nighty?

Aj: MOHSIN IN HIS BRA (this question is genuine :P)

Me: Just out of curiosity, why only boys? Why not girls?

Aj: Jo LARKAY ho saktay hain, woh KABHI LARKIYAN NAHEEN HO SAKTEEN.

Me: Uh, and when did you realize that?

Aj: I entered my academy went to the table tennis room. This guy was standing here out of no where he pulled out his shorts and showed his ASS COMPLETELY.

Me: And what did you do?

Aj: PAPPIIIII

Me: You mean you kissed his ass?

Aj: yah

Me: So I should assume you are gay?

Aj: you don’t need to assume. I am gay.

Me: Right, so any last words for your friends?

Aj: “I LOVE YOU” all in a totally gayish way

Me: Right, so I guess this is it.

Aj: *grabs the interviewer’s COLLAR.* say GAY. FOR LIFE. FOREVER. FOR ETERNITY

Me: *gets scared and yells* GAY. FOR LIFE. FOREVER. FOR ETERNITY

Aj: yay

Me: Right, now. So this is it for this interview… *me calls security to have the mad man removed* Goodbye ladies and gentleman, sorry this interview was so short but due to unforeseen circumstances I need to go and burn this shirt bye bye.