hello

time

Six months ago, today, I gave birth to a beautiful, perfect little boy. This feels like an eon ago, and like it just happened yesterday. Time leans on you in funny ways with a baby. It can push you to count every second as you wait and wait and wait for those eyes to close and that breathing to slow; or it can insist that a week has whizzed by when you feel like you've only just got a handle on Monday. More than anything, though, Baby Time reminds you how little there is and how quickly that goes.

We have loved having a baby. We agree that it has been the hardest work either of us have ever done, yet it has also been the most incredible, warm, charming, exhilarating, intimate, intense experience of our lives. At least, that's what I think I see in my OTL's face when Fred leans against his cheek for a snuggle, and it is the least of what I feel at some point in every day. (We also feel exhausted, pushed to our limits and like we're bobbing just above water, but, hey, how easy that is to forget when he laughs his famous Single Laugh Chuckle.) It is truly a wondrous experience.

At six months, Fred is a sweet, adventurous, intense little creature. He is quick to smile, loves our singing - particularly, the Nappy Time Song (a Dad original) and Let's Go Fly a Kite (my surefire way to stop any car seat tears), not to mention any number of jaunty sea shanties - welcomes cuddles, loves being worn by Dad in the carrier (particularly if it involves a visit to the laundry), is entranced by the light coming through his window as he takes his daytime naps, and can push himself backwards around the floor at an alarming rate. He's also particularly partial to pulling his Mum's hair, but we won't dwell on that here.

And that is the least of who he is. We have loved watching him emerge and look forward with anticipation (and a bit of trepidation, let's face it - he's going to walk one day) to the little person he continues to become. Today Fred and I spent long, cheerful moments mimicking each other's sounds and facial expressions and I knew, with a pang, that he would talk one day. And I knew that Time would continue to tempt my little baby onwards into childhood, to cajole him to grow up and out and beyond us. Which is a beautiful and a terrible thought. But something we signed on for, nevertheless, and wouldn't have any other way.

3 comments:

Hi Emma,What a wonderful record for you all to have of this truly life-changing experience of becoming a parent in the case of the adults and learning to engage with the entire universe in the baby's case!! I am sure if you download this to a CD and look at it in 20 years time it will be a wonderful means of bringing back to life all the emotions, smells and sounds of this roller-coaster ride that is raising a child! I envy you a little creating such a wonderful digital memory store. When packing up my parents belongings I came across a "My Baby's Firsts" a book someone had obviously given my Mum when I was born, or perhaps bought herself, but sadly it was completely blank, so no notes of my first tooth emerging.... my first word, my first shaky steps!!

PS Finally got time to post Fred his copy of "The Story of Iguana Don" it went AirMail last Monday 10 May 2010.

Saw you are now in touch with Jo on FB I am sure she will value your advice as the new challenges of motherhood take over her & Rob's existence.

PPS:Seeking clarification on exact meaning of OTL in the context of your post. I am assuming it stands for "Off The List" ie that your beloved Richard is all yours!! But courtesy of http://acronyms.thefreedictionary.com/OTLfound these other amusing possibilities!!Acronym DefinitionOTL Out To LunchOTL Over The Line (tournament in San Diego, CA, USA)OTL Output Transformer-Less (audio systems)Otl Oberstleutnant (German military; Lieutenant Colonel)OTL On the Loose (outdoors club of the Claremont Colleges)OTL Our TimelineOTL Off the ListOTL Off the Line (marching band)OTL OpenType LayoutOTL Only the LonelyOTL Operational Test LaunchOTL Optical Transmission LossOTL Observer Target LineOTL Optical Transport Layer (Ciena)OTL Optimum Transmission Level

Thanks for sharing your wondrous moments with us, Emma. I loved reading about how time is leaning on you and enjoyed looking at the delightful pictures of Richard, Fred, and yourself. Warm regards,david massey