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Not being a techie, I surprised myself when I was counting the days until my contract allowed me to have a new cellular phone.

The old phone was a piece of junk that kept turning itself off whenever I was in the middle of a reallyÂ good conversation. I evenÂ replaced itÂ once–per the terms of my phone contract–and the replacement turned out to be exactly like the one I had before. Sigh.

So this week the magic day arrived. My contract allowed as I could subject myself to more abuse from my “service provider.”Â I presented myself, accompanied by my piece o’junk phone, and told the bright young man I am ready for a new one, but that I hoped for oneÂ that actually worked this time.

Well, about 2,000 questions later, the store was closing, and my new friend Eric advised as how he would be there the next day. Service with a smile.

I returned a couple of days later, and my friend Eric (wisely) has the day off, so my next new friend, Caleb, draws the short straw and has to deal with me. Too many options, all accompanied by the nagging thought that I might pick the one phone that opts not to do its job before I’m allowed to replace it. Do you think the reason there are no chairs in the phone store is so people like me will hurry up and decide?

This phone turns sideways. That one has a keyboard. The other one comes with a rebate. This one is the trendy one. This one can drive my car and bake a cake, too. My eyes glaze over.

What finally convinced me to select a model was when my new buddy Caleb showed me how I could find a Sonic anywhere on the planet. Wow! Now my family says I have Sonic radar anyway, and I do admit I’m pretty good at it, but not perfect. (True story:Â ask Larre about the time he stayed at his computer until he could navigate me toward one in another city.) So the Sonic-finding phone is now the one I took home.

Anyway, I now am the proud owner of a phone I must keep for at least a year. I have in my vast, messy purseÂ a flimsy pink plastic cover that cost too much protecting a phone thatÂ cost too much. I did all this from a company that had me under contract for a phone I couldn’t get to do its job. Is this insanity?

Here’s a question for you: anyone remember how indestructible the phones were when we RENTED them from the phone company?