The FIFA corruption scandal claimed an unexpected casualty this week, in the form of TV funny man John Oliver.

The Last Week Tonight host promised to sample various FIFA sponsors’ wares if Sepp Blatter was somehow removed as President. This included the ominously named Bud Light Lime, which he dubbed ‘the Jolly Green Giant’s ejaculate’.

Like most of us, Oliver didn’t think for a moment that Sepp was about to go without being prised out with an industrial crowbar.

A reminder to us all to be careful what you wish for.

Meanwhile, FIFA communications director Walter De Gregorio — remember, ‘this for FIFA is good’ — learned the hard way not to make light of the woes of soccer’s ‘governing’ body.

During a TV interview, Walter told a joke about being in a car with FIFA president Sepp Blatter and secretary general Jerome Valcke.

“Who is driving?” he asked, pausing for effect before answering: “The police.”

Blatter asked for his resignation. Seems Sepp’s still in the driver’s seat after all.

It wasn’t all soccer this week. Stan Wawrinka’s very loud shorts won the French Open — and then held a press conference.

And yes, it does appear that a reporter may actually be fondling said shorts.

“It’s quite funny that they won the French Open,” said Stanimal. “I quite like them. Apparently I’m the only one.”

Hey, if you can’t beat ’em, blind ’em — and beat ’em that way. And at least you don’t have to get changed on your way to the golf course.

Jimmy Fallon had his own unique tribute to the French Open, which goes like this…

Finally, spare a thought for the Spanish bullfighter who was gored in the nuts this week.

“It was not such a big deal,” he said. “In the end I just needed to have my scrotum sewed.”