Mr Shaky Lip Returns With More Chocolates

So today I went to a meeting at work where the proposals for change were being put forward. There are going to be 2.5 million pound cut to the budget so there will be cuts all over the college, so naturally with all the chaos of restructuring and job cuts a group of us went to the pub after the meeting to drown sorrows (not me because I didn’t have any sorrows any excuse to drink will do) So on the way back to work I’m all light headed after two large glasses of Rose wine and on the way in I need to go to the toilet, but on the way I peek into my office and see the back of a bushy grey mound. I recognize the mound immediately as Mr Slappy Lip and seek refuge in the toilet for a good ten minutes, hoping he would be gone on my return, but no he was still there and so the inevitable had to be faced.

I took my place at my desk and he started talking about courses and application forms. Then of course he had to ask about Kate, my dear colleague who has not been here for two years, “And how is my heartbeat?” I told him that she was fine, and kept it at that. After this he asked me what chocolates I liked and how he had tried to find the ones that he thought I would like but couldn’t find any. I told him Ferrero Rochers, and that they were available in any sweet shops, Supermarket or Woolworths etc. He said that he would find them, and as he left turned to me and said Fear Raych. Fear Raych what the hell is that? I didn’t take him seriously, after all it’s not the first time he has made chocolate promises, and when he did bring chocolates they weren’t promised and they weren’t for me. And so he went.

In less than an hour he was back with a plastic bag. UH OH!!! He had really bought the chocolates. He came over and slammed them on my desk, taking a seat at the same time, removing his coat and making himself comfortable. As I’m sitting here typing this I am gorging on Ferreros … the Prestige range. He bought a big box too, and not the normal ones PRESTIGE! you hear! He is in front of me babbling on about being made homeless, and raising money for his place at university, which he has already deferred for a year And I felt somewhat bad. He left the receipt in the bag for me to find, to let me know how much it was. What have I done? I’ll never get rid of him now. Perhaps I should have refused them said, “Oh no I couldn’t possibly accept these chocolates.”

The greedy me leered at the guilty me and did not allow the guilty me to do that. The shiny wrapping of each individual chocolate was like gold to my eyes. I didn’t hesitate in grabbing the plastic bag, like a starving child. I unwrapped the cellophane wrapper and in no time at all got stuck in while he was still talking. I could only hear key words, and then on the fourth chocolate I looked up to find his face above mine, asking me what time the barber shop closes. My throat lined with chocolate I told him that I didn’t know as the barbers was not a place that I frequented, and then he was walking away with promises of returning tomorrow. I thanked him again and he was gone.

What is in store for me now? Is a box of chocolates worth the pain and suffering that I am going to endure over these next few weeks? Will this pain and suffering be payback for me accepting a box of chocolates from an about to be homeless struggling student pensioner?