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April 14, 2011

Giving the People What They Want

Am I screwing up?

Remember when I wrote about getting a thoughtful award from another blogger? And how terrible of a person I am because I utterly fail at finishing things that don't immediately register as "essential?" Or how remiss I've been in writing posts about things that don't involve my children's bodily functions? Or that aren't prolonged complaints about my life in general?

No, I didn't exactly say that, did I... but at any rate, I'll get to my point quickly.

Not one, but TWO lovely blogging ladies have presented me with another thoughtful award:

To Janet of KY Klips and Annie of And We're Off To..., I thank you. From the bottom of my heart. I've put a lot of love into this little blog, and it's wonderful to hear that it's pretty. Because, as it features prominently caricatures of yours truly, that means that you think that I'M pretty. And that's enough to make a girl blush.

As is the modus operandi with this sort of thing, it is my duty upon accepting this prestigious award to provide you with seven random facts about myself, and then to pass it along to another ten stylish blogs. Blogs that, regardless of what you like to read, are pretty freakin' awesome to look at. So I'll start with those. I must warn you, however, that I am going to break with tradition. Most of these are not parenting related blogs. These are just marvelous, beautiful places to waste a few moments of your time. And here they are:

Daily Painter Amy Hautman, who paints truly lovely watercolors of her garden every day.Post Secret, if you're not familiar with this project already, PLEASE go check it out! Truly inspiring and always good food for thought.Visually Inclined, my dear friend's photography blog. She's a genius with a lens, and leads a glamorous and fascinating life. And the pictures are always wonderful.Paulo Coelho's Blog, one of my favorite contemporary authors, keeping up not only with his intellectual pursuits but his silly daily life as well. The Fall of James, a father and photographer. His pictures are beautiful, and frequently hilarious. Momma Data: Debunking Children's Health News, with whom I may have briefly quarreled, but respect deeply.Mila's Daydreams, who if you aren't already familiar with... again... check her out. Her art (photograph of her baby daughter's dreams) is amazing, and I can't wait for he book.Noa Green Photography, a New Jersey based baby photographer, her amazing pictures of newborns and their families, and her own family. It's lovely.Neil & His Magnificent Oracular Journal, yes, i saw him tonight and yes, I'm a total geek, but I think it's lovely and silly. And I'm handing out the accolades.Uptown Chicago Blog, a collection of photographs from more than the last century of this EXTREMELY interesting neighborhood of Chicago. I could surf that blog forever.

And now, seven random facts about me.

I picked out my first tattoo when I was thirteen. It's a blue flame, in the middle of my chest. No, I had never seem Foxfire. No, it has nothing to do with Angelina Jolie. Actually, it was originally intended to be two tattoos- the flame on my chest, and a deep purple crescent moon just below my widow's peak on my forehead. I never went through with the forehead tattoo. I have no regrets.

My least favorite of my own personal parts are my pinkie toes. I have a tendency to get really nasty blisters on them, blisters that rapidly become infected and need to be lanced. The first time this happened, the infection began to spread to my foot, leading to a swift and alarming surgical procedure in my pediatrician's office, who then informed me who lucky I was that I was going to keep the foot. Since then, I've built up an alarming amount of scar tissue on these toes, which makes the infections all the worse. Shortly before meeting M, I decided that I was going to get rid of those pesky toes once and for all. In an insomniatic fit, I took a cab to the closest 24 hour hardware store, and spend much of the night picking out the perfect toe-removal device. I never actually cut them off, but I do have an extremely useful hedge trimmer that I purchased just for that purpose. I was going to make sure I dropped the toes into some sort of preservative before going to the hospital, first of all to make sure that they couldn't be reattached, and second of all to allow me the glorious option of keeping a jar with toes floating in it in my medicine cabinet. Just to freak out snoopy guests. Again, no regrets.

My favorite flavors of ice-cream are Blue Moon, which is nearly impossible to get my hands on, and Mackinaw Island Fudge. Which is almost as difficult to find. That's the trouble with having all of your childhood nostalgia located in Michigan. When you're not in Michigan, you can't wallow in your nostalgia.

I'm a neurotic art collector. As an artist, I could easily cover my walls in my own art. Unfortunately, having so much of my own art ON the walls makes me feel like a self-obsessed weirdo. So, I collect art by other people. Yes, there's still some of my own art up, but it's significantly less than half. And I'm constantly on the lookout for more fun prints, paintings, and found objects to adorn my home. My kitchen, in particular, is becoming a gallery in its own right. My favorite pieces in there are a framed and mounted 8-track of Disco Sesame Street, a print of a silk painting landscape that M and I picked up in New Zealand, A reproduction of a WWI era Cream of Wheat ad, and a painting of an elderly couple polka-ing painted on a keg lid. If you make art, I would love to put it in my kitchen.

Since becoming a mother, I have managed to kill six house plants. It makes me nervous about the girls' chances.

If I had a whole day, just to myself, just to do ANYTHING that I wanted, I would probably read. And I would probably read comics. And they would probably have zombies in them. Back when Walking Dead was showing on AMC (I was already a longtime fan of the comic) the girls' nap time was also my zombie time. I would torrent the latest episode and spend a nice, quiet hour of grown-up time watching horrific scenes of people being ripped apart by the departed and eating tomato and mayonnaise sandwiches (I refer to this sandwich as a "Tom Robbins," for reasons that I'm sure a savvy Google search could explain). M had no interest in joining me for this macabre activity. I am very much looking forward to reviving this routine when the new season starts.

Bonus fact: This mask terrifies M. I love it.

As I decided when I was 15 and my chiropractor explained that I would have back pain forever because of my gigantic boobs, I will be getting a breast reduction as soon as I'm certain that I'm done breastfeeding forever. I have absolutely no memory of what it's like to live without back pain.

And there you have it! More about me! Stay tuned for the future, wherein I will once again write about my children. Which is why you're here, in the first place.

...and I apologize for the weirdness of this post. It's been a long, long day, and it's not even close to over. Cheers!