I discarded 40% of my wardrobe today, talking smack the whole time to the losers. I said stuff like:

– “You chafe my armpits and have to go.”
– “You require a slip and that’s bullshit. Thanks for your service.”
– “You are boxy and weird.”
– “You are doing my chest no favors.”
– “You are a Janet-Jackson-caliber wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen.”
– “You are a crutch for my ‘ugly’ days and must leave.”
– “You make me look like a prairie woman.”
– “Does polyester burn? Because you deserve to burn.”

Then I realized I was hopelessly in love with the author, who seems like a fussy old lady but is actually a very fetching young Japanese woman. She’s all about keeping only useful, beloved objects in your home, and treating them with love. (A great summary of her beliefs is here.) Her sort of Shintoist, animism-infused beliefs annoy Christians (1, 2), which I find funny.

I decided to try it myself.

I hauled all of my clothes out of the closet/drawers and dumped them on the bed. I held each item up and determined if it “sparked joy.”

It was touchy-feely nonsense, but it worked. I got rid of 30-40% of my wardrobe in under an hour.

What do these two shows have in common, aside from all those bomb-ass Canadian accents? Jewel Staite. Here she is on Dark. Here she is making the same mistake I constantly do. And here she is using pregnancy as an excuse to do her thang.

Yeah. Pregnant. She’s not ten any more. Why is it so surprising when child actors grow up?

I see pictures like this ^ and I’m like “don’t let the Commander see that. You’ll be put in the brig or whatever the hell.”

I guess if I’m allowed to curse and have sex, Catalina can, too. We have all aged.

Next year it’ll be 20 years since Space Cases premiered. Maybe I should get another tattoo. Grown-ups like Jewel Staite and I are allowed to do that.

Riddle me this: Is Robin a giant, frigging liability? Or is he a cutie patootie that contributes to your enjoyment of Batman?

As an introvert and kind of a jerk, my battle is often: “Do I want to be lonely? Should I let people in — at the expense that they may annoy me or depend on me more than I’d like?”

Having other people around means a lot of things:
– You have to help friends move.
– You have friends to help you move.
– You have to pet-sit.
– You have someone to bring you a cookie when you’re in a bad mood.
– You get baby-barf on your shirts.
– You wind up listening to other people’s uninteresting problems about their dead parents.
– Other people listen to your uninteresting problems about your dead parents.
– The Joker might kidnap your friends, and you have to save them.
– Two-Face might try to drown you in sand, and they have to save you.
– Friends are free, unlike butlers, whom you must pay.

I honestly oscillate between loving and hating Robin.

Usually I want to push Robin off a cliff for being useless.

I’ve taken this as a sign that I should stick to a job that provides a lot of alone time.