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Friday, February 3, 2012

How to Win Free Shoes

I am giving away another pair of fabulous (FREE) work shoes from my friends at Shoes For Crews. They gave me a pair a few weeks ago for writing a review about them and I, in return, asked for a few pair to give to you guys. I already gave away two pair and now I am giving away another one with this contest. Very simple. The best caption for the picture below will win the free damn shoes. In the words of Barefoot Contessa, "how easy is that?" Just write your caption in the comment section and the winner will be decided by a group of esteemed individuals of food service industry professionals (just me and a friend of mine...). Make it it witty, make it funny, make it yours. Or you can post your comment on the Bitchy Waiter Facebook page. All captions will be considered. The deadline to write a caption is Monday, February 6th at midnight EST. I will announce the winner some time on Tuesday, February 7th.

Important: if you write it in the comment section of this blog post, please make sure you do so as a registered commenter and not Anonymous. I must be able to get in touch with you. No anonymous entrants will be considered.

write your caption, bitches

Yes, I know someone is going to bash me for posting a picture of a baby that appears to be on the verge of becoming dinner, but get over it. I am sure this did not really happen. Worst case scenario: it did really happen and the baby was over-cooked and gristly and they had to throw it out leaving them with no dinner and no baby. Bummer. Please share this with your friends because it isn't just baby who needs a new pair of shoes. (The baby in the picture actually does not need a new pair of shoes. He needs butter and salt.)

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That picture, is almost as ABHORRENT as this photo that I saw the other day on Facebook of a child that some disturbed soul had actually DUCT-TAPED to a CHAIR.

As you can imagine, photos like these are completely DESTRUCTIVE to our fragile and moral society. What if a person saw this picture and accidentally got CONFUSED and proceeded to roast their own tender and delicious baby in the oven ?!?!?!?!Without hurting the integrity of this post, perhaps you could substitute the child abuse cannibalism promoting photo with something depicting children in a healthier and happier context, perhaps with ponies. Glittery ponies.

Hey Stan-um, Loretta! The Romans have figured out a way that you can have babies! All you have to do is make ten easy payments of twenty aurei and you too can have your own Brutus Brand Baby-making kit. All applications for the Brutus Brand Baby-Making kit must be made in person at the Coliseum in Rome.(No refunds or cancellations accepted, all purchases are final)