Meet Jean Paolo. Microsoft gave him $1500 to find a laptop that’s right for him. He wants us to know that he’s tech savvy. He wants us to know that he has big hands. He probably hopes we know what that’s supposed to mean. He’s a smug tool, and he’s a PC:

In Microsoft’s defense, it was pretty ballsy or whatever to actually describe their competitor’s product as “sexy” in one of their own commercials. Sexy = bad in Microsoft land, which sounds about right. If this commercial gets a lot of airplay, maybe people will lay off that adorable Justin Long for a year or two.