"Sempurna" is an Indonesian pop song originally by Andra & the Backbone. Then Gita Gutawa made a cover for the movie "Love" which was arranged by her father and popular musician, Erwin Gutawa. I never knew about this song until I heard the Philippine Madrigal Singers sing the choral version for it arranged by Ily Mathew Maniano (which I think is based more on the version of Gita Gutawa). They first sang it in their concert at the Festival Paduan Suara 1st Institut Teknologi Bandung International Choir Competition in Indonesia.

I saw 2 videos of them on YouTube singing the song but the video and audio quality is not that clear that I just moved on to the next song without finishing it. Until I watched their "All for Love" concert at the CCP last Feb. 12, 2011 and with the heavenly voice of Ms. Kitbielle Pasagui singing the solo, I fell in love with the song. Since then, I can't seem to forget about it and I would wake up some mornings with the song playing in my head.

I had a more profound appreciation of the song when I got the translation of the lyrics. "Sempurna" means "Perfect" and I think the song lives up to its title and when the Madz sang it during the concert, they made it sound DIVINE!

the french term for the Italian: Rinascimento which was derived from "ri" meaning again and "nascere" "be born". I totally forgot about this blog, I know it still exists but never found the time to write anything. The last post I wrote was about the death of my youngest sister's premature born child and along with it this blog was buried in the ashes.I started shifting my attention to my job and it slowly took all my energy leaving none for creativity. I slowly and unwilling entered the dark ages. Until recently, events that transpired made me realize that life is too short and I realized I'm already "living to work "and not "working to live". I decided to quit my job and try out free lance work.

Now I think the dark ages are over and its time to signal the renaissance for this blog and my life in general. I am now on my way to living my life the way i wanted it to be and how it should be.

It may be difficult at first but I know once it's my decree, the universe will agree...

August 26, 2007You were brought into this world before your time. You came out feet first, not wanting to show us your face right away, wanting to surprise us with such astounding beauty that doesn't belong to this world. Words can't express the happiness we felt seeing you alive...and yet a profound sense of sadness knowing that you may not stay long with us.We pray fervently for you to survive and you did your part extremely well, you fought bravely for your life. Such small hands reaching out to your mother, wanting to tell her everything will be fine, wanting to show her she has reasons for wanting to come out early.

August 27, 2007"Alleluia... May flights of angels sing thee to thy rest."You stayed with us for such a very short time but your beauty shone brightly, deeply embedded in our minds and kept safe forever in our hearts. May you bring with you our love (overflowing) in your heart."Alleluia... Remember me, O Lord, when you come into your kingdom.Alleluia... Give rest, O Lord, to your handmaid who has fallen asleep."May the Blessed Virgin cradle you in her arms and let you sleep in her peace while she gently sends you to her son's embrace to receive the promise of eternal joy in His kingdom. May you rest in the infinite goodness of our dear Lord and maker."Alleluia... The Choir of Saints have found the well-spring of life and door of paradise.Alleluia... Life; a shadow and a dream."May God, the source of all things good, fill you from the spring of life and allow you to play freely in the garden of Eden..."Alleluia...Weeping at the grave creates the song: Alleluia...Come, enjoy rewards and crowns I have prepared for you.Alleluia..."As you become an angel in God's heavenly domain, may you watch over us until we see each other again...

Adolescence saw the dawn of the decline of my fear. The raging hormones that brought about rapid physical changes along with the busy school schedule helped me forget about my fear. There were times that I still give in to this fear but thanks to Bayantel, who made phone lines readily available for mass consumption, I was able to cope with it easily coz now I can call friends and we chat all night ‘til we both feel exhausted and fell asleep as soon as we hang-up. No more time to think then. . .no more dreams. . .no more nightmares. . .

Third phase over. . .

transition. . .

It was a time for young adulthood. Now I faced the reality of death. People I know, people I cared for. . .those I call my friends. . .people I don’t expect to go that soon. . .all succumbed to death.

At this point I began to ponder about death. . .its mystery. . .its beauty. . .its purpose. . .

When I was offered work abroad, somehow I was thrilled by the idea. . .but the thought of leaving home filled my heart with sadness. I thought of the people I will have to leave. . .I thought of my loved ones. . .I thought of our plans together. . .I can’t bear the thought of missing out. . .Even for a moment. . .what more for two years. . and then I heard that voice, calling from the darkest regions of my inner self. . .the familiar voice that brought me nightmares and sleepless nights. . .

Then I fell ill, trangkaso. . .as I lie in bed burning with fever, I began to think about the probability of death. And surprisingly, I felt not even the slightest hint of fear. . .But then I remembered my family, my friends, everyone I love. . .then suddenly I felt fear, it came so gently, like a soft breeze. . .that suddenly blew harder. . .and colder. . .that froze my every thought. . .that paralyzed my ever muscle. . .

and the realization hit me. . .all this time I thought I fear death itself, but now I know the real source of my fear. . .

I fear leaving my loved ones; I fear losing them. . .I guess I have this tendency to be extremely attached. . .that I can never let go (or I’m just afraid to let go?). . .

I fear death. . .I fear its capacity to separate me from the people I love. . .I actually fear the separation. . .

In my early years I would stay awake at night, invoking the protection of the highest powers . . . importuning their grace to allow my soul to stay on my earthly body. In my plea, I usually include an unending list of reasons why I deserve to have another day. . .then after I enervate myself from praying, I would hug my Lola tight and I won’t let go ‘till morning comes.

It was the fist phase. . .

As I grew older, my fear took on a different form. I now fear the death of my loved ones. I would implore the mercy of our creator to keep them safe from harm. I developed this habit of always checking to see if they’re alright, especially when they’re sleeping. I would check for indication of life by means of observing their breathing. I would observe them for a minute or two and when I see a regular intake and release of breath, I can breathe easily myself and express my gratitude to God.

This fear would haunt me not only on my waking hours but even in my sleep. It turns even the most pleasant dreams into nightmares, then. . .I’ll wake up crying and unable to sleep again.

You Don't Bring Me Flowers (Barbra Streisand)I used to hear the song a lot when I was young but never really took notice of it until recently when I borrowed "Barbra: The Concert" VCD, the one that was staged like a 2 act musical (loved this production). Anyway, when I got to the 2nd Act of the concert, I was so moved when she sang this song. I really felt bad, as I listen to every word within the song. It brought me back to that feeling I had with an ex who was so afraid to loose . . .(long story)Anyway I find this song really tragic . . . the beginning of the song recounts how their relationship turned sour . . . You don't bring me flowers, You don't sing me love songs, You hardly talk to me anymore, When you come through the door at the end of the day . . . And then came the worst part . . . I remember when, You couldn't wait to love me, Used to hate to leave me, Now after lovin' me late at night, When it's good for you and you're feeling all right, Well you just roll over and you turn out the light . . . I find this line so depressing . . . i can just imagine the feeling of being degraded to a mere sex object. anyway, just want to share this song, but i love the song, the melody and the lyrics really goes well together and Barbra sang it really well, i love the solo version though instead of the duet version. . .