Man Taken Out Of Coma To Play Local Championship Match

A 27 year old man from Seneschalstown, county Meath, was yesterday taken out of a medically induced coma so that he would be able to join the senior panel for their next championship match.

Devin McGarrell, the centre half forward, usually doesn’t even start for the team, but management wanted a full squad to be present ahead of the match against Jenkinstown Gaels, that took place yesterday evening.

Devine suffered severe brain trauma after being shot in the head at a recent training session. Management were playing a game of Backs and Bullets when the incident happened.

Backs and Bullets is a innovative training game where the coaches use shotguns to motivate players and to help them create huge levels of “Fire in the belly”, that they can hopefully use during matches.

Hospital

Unfortunately, the only fire wound up in Devin’s skull and he was rushed to hospital where Doctors were forced to induce the coma to help relieve the trauma on the brain.

However, even though Devine had not made a full recovery, the GAA club insisted that he be taken out of a coma to join the panel for last nights game. Doctors did object, but they hadn’t the authority to overrule the management of the senior football team.

The management said that they knew it was a big decision for Devin to make, but he had to make the choice so he and his club knew where his priorities lay.

Management were also quoted as saying:

“The only lads that would bother missing a match because of a shitey coma are soccer lads. And we’re all know they’re windy, diving puffs! Pride in your parish comes first, comas come second and Devine and the rest of the lads need to know that.”

Seneschalstown went on to lose last nights match and are now out of the Championship. Devine was also unlucky not to get a run out.