Barack Obama Announces Vice President

After vacation in Hawaii, Barack Obama announced his pick for Vice President. It is a woman, a blond and this should sooth the get even passions of stanch, diehard supporters of Hillary Clinton. However, his vice presidential pick isn't Hillary, but Martha Stewart, arguably one of the most famous woman in the world, right up there with Oprah Winfrey, Margaret Thatcher and Angelina Jolie.

Obama added that Ms. Stewart, experienced in every facet of living, would be ready and able to step right in if anything should happen to him, Allah forbid, as quickly as she could switch on a Kitchen Aid mixer. Like buzz.

Experienced with having created a billion dollar business out of housekeeping, Martha certainly knows how to wheel a broom, and following eight years of the Bush administration, a circus wide broom will be required.

As for the 3 A.M. telephone call? No problem! Martha is reputed to sleep only five hours a night and when or if the call comes, she'll be wide awake, able to take on any emergency, and also offer a quick recipe for sticky cinnamon buns. And what world problem wouldn't instantly improve with a platter of sticky cinnamon buns?

Meanwhile, John McCain, (looking more like the Travelocity gnome) seems to be running a campaign for sophomore high school class president: Brittany Spears, Paris Hilton, nominating his wife for the Miss Buffalo Chip competition. How soon before he throws her into a topless mud wrestling venue?

Envious of Barack Obama's audience of two hundred thousand in Berlin, McCain plans to parachute into the closing ceremonies of the Olympics, claim the trapped audience, and give his dull, sleep inducing, "My friends ...one for the Gipper... Obama's a foreigner... Bush who?" speech.

The Obama's team will counter with a sun drenched snappy political commercial announcing, "The male retirement age in the U.S. is 65, grandpa, so put a sock in it. Your Shia, Sunni confusion wasn't a senior moment, but a senior lifestyle. So go take up fly fishing. Georgia isn't going to become your October surprise."

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