We stare right into the nappy head of Raven to start the show. He cuts one of his signature ECW promos about being a tortured young kid growing in the late 1970s while sitting alone in a dark room. Two years later, “Freaks and Geeks” debuted on NBC TV about a bunch of misfit teenagers trying to figure it all out in the late 1970s. COINCIDENCE? Probably. Quoth the Raven, “Nevermore”.

And now, we transition to see those kind of girls who Raven could never get in high school: THE NITRO GIRLS!

We are south of the Mason-Dixon line, so no surprise this crowd is HOT. Stevie Ray bounces Buff around to start. They tag out and Norton runs Booker over, but then Booker fires back with a few kicks. Tag to Stevie Ray, Buff trips him up from the floor so they can take the advantage. Bagwell misses an elbow drop from the middle rope and that’s all the heat segment you’re getting on the Heat. Stevie Ray looks so bad trying to look like he’s hurt as he reaches Booker for the tag. What a HOUSE OF FIRE Booker is. He even body slams big Norton. Death Valley Driver to Buff! Match breaks down as Vincent pops up on the apron to nail Booker for the really cheap DQ. (4:36) The Heat don’t get the pinfall, but they win the war as they clean house on V&D. A lot of fun as everyone was fired up, but what a weak finish. This is our first of two Road Wild rematches tonight. It’s a shame their match couldn’t have been this interesting at the PPV, but who could have had a good match in front of that crowd? **

Barbarian vs. Mortis (w/James Vandenberg)

Last week, we got Meng vs. Wrath. Now we get the other half of these two teams facing off. Larry Z wonders if Barbarian isn’t disturbed by Mortis because he’s just a simpleton from the islands. Barb misses a corner charge and takes a Super Rocker Dropper for two. He fires back with the Stroke. Mortis comes off the top rope, but gets caught in mid-air with a powerslam for 1-2-NO! KICK OF FEAR. That’ll do. (2:21) Wrath comes out and drops Barbarian with the DEATH PENALTY. He then turns around to get caught in the TONGAN DEATH GRIP by Meng! Mortis can’t stomp Meng off Wrath, so he has to pull Wrath out to the floor to break the grip. *

Time for Eric Bischoff to come down. He’s here to *show* us how much he loves us by inviting us to watching an nWo party in honor of Hollywood Hogan and the Outsiders still being champions (?) that will be taking place at the Clash of the Champions on August 21. The reason for said party is not very clear, but I guess the nWo don’t need a reason to party. They just party because they’re the nWo. Crowd is crazy for Larry Z, by the way. Bischoff says he now has a 50-foot restraining order against Zbyszko; just like the Giant. He warns Giant not to violate the restraining order again or he will face the same punishment he did last week. As for JJ Dillon, Bischoff demands that the nWo have their own show and the right to return to the commentary table. While Dillon waits to listen to what Sting wants, Bischoff tells JJ to listen to what he wants. See ya, Thursday.

Gene Okerlund brings out Ric Flair and Curt Hennig. Once again, Hennig repeats that he’s not a Horseman, that he’s still a free agent, and he’s just wrestling with Flair at the Clash because that’s what he agreed to do. After Hennig threatens the Giant for their scheduled match tonight, Flair says he’s first going to “ride Konnan hard and put him up wet”. First of all, I’m not even going to get into how gay that sounds. Second of all, he’s wrestling Syxx tonight; not Konnan. Hennig again finishes this interview saying that he’s “just too good to be true”.

Stevie Richards vs. Scotty Riggs

Stevie Richards make his in-ring Nitro debut here. He will be facing Raven in what is labeled as a grudge match by Tenay this Thursday at the Clash. Riggs starts off in control and delivers a sloppy monkey flip. I don’t normally mention sloppy moves, but that was just too noticeable. The tide turns out on the floor when Richards whips Riggs into the ringpost. Back inside, Richards delivers the Stevie Bomb for two. Riggs mounts his comeback, but charges into the STEVIE KICK as Richards gets the win. (5:13) Hey look, it’s Raven. He leaves Stevie laying with the EVENFLOW DDT, surveys the damage from down in the corner, and then leaves back through the crowd as they chant his name. This was a pretty sloppy match from the start and just WAY too long for what they were looking to accomplish. They are very clearly just going to feed Stevie Richards to Raven at the Clash. *

Before the next match, Gene Okerlund meets with Jeff Jarrett, Eddie Guerrero, and Debra in the aisle. Debra promises that she will be managing the U.S. champion and the Cruiserweight champion once Thursday night has come and gone. Here comes Alex Wright to ask Debra about “joining her team”. She likes him just fine, but he doesn’t have a belt, so she doesn’t really care. Wright storms off saying he’ll get himself a title then; the TV title, perhaps. Poor Debra. Her basic mic skills are hardly there. No wonder once she came to the WWF that all they had her do was show her T&A. Those are her only assets.

The following announcement has been paid for by the new World order: They have their own birthday party for themselves, BUT WHAT BIRTHDAY ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT? NONE OF THIS BIRTHDAY BUSINESS MAKES ANY SENSE. The only birthday that comes close would be Hollywood Hogan, but why would they be singing “Happy Birthday to Us” if they were celebrating Hogan’s birthday? I don’t understand this one bit. What is significant in 1996 about the nWo in mid-late August of 1996? Are they confusing July 7 with August 21? What calendar are these people on? It seems to me like the window of opportunity for celebrating this birthday has long since closed. Can anybody explain this? I know our esteemed commentators certainly can’t.

It seems to me that Birmingham digs this Mongo/Jarrett feud as they are HOT, buddy. Benoit and Guerrero go New Japan on each other to kick things off. After a series of chops from Benoit, he sends Guerrero retreating over to Jarrett with a Snap Suplex. Benoit tags McMichael into the ring and he naturally wants Jarrett in there. Jarrett actually wants a tag, but Guerrero wants to handle this for the US champ. It’s all a setup for Jarrett to pearl harbor Mongo. He grabs Jarrett, but then Eddie dropkicks the knee in a great moment of misdirection. From there, Eddie and Jarrett dissect the injury. Jarrett takes Mongo to school while Guerrero hilos the knee. Mongo catches Eddie with a flapjack and then the three-point stance allows him to reach Benoit for the tag. The crowd is just molten hot for everything. Chop to Jarrett, press slam to Eddie, and the Snap Suplex to Jarrett gets two. The match has broken down now and Mongo gets dumped. Benoit catches Jarrett in the CRIPPLER CROSSFACE, but Guerrero puts a stop to it with a stomp to the face. While the ref is busy with Eddie, Mongo scares Debra into dropping the U.S. title, and reverts back to his old days by bashing Jarrett with a metal object. Mongo forces Eddie back over the top rope while Benoit rolls Jarrett over and scores the pinfall. (5:12) Some good psychology, ton of action, and a hot crowd to boot made this super fun. Jarrett meets Mongo this Thursday at the Clash. ***

THE NITRO GIRLS!

Tony tells you to not send in your ideas. Instead, send in video tapes of your Nitro Parties so the Nitro Girls can come to your house!

As we start the next hour, they replay Sting ripping up JJ Dillon’s contract from last week.

Now here comes the Outsiders to the ring. Both guys are convinced that the whole world is only watching Monday Nitro to see the nWo. Very mixed reaction for these two in Birmingham. They mention that they will be facing two “J-brons” tonight: DDP and Lex Luger. Tonight they will prove why they are the best tag team ever and why they’re just too sweet.

THE NITRO GIRLS!

Ric Flair vs. Syxx

Syxx’s entourage are “conspicuous by their absence”. Headlocks and shoulderblocks to start. Syxx catches Flair with an enziguri and delivers the Bronco Buster. Flair Flip lands him out on the floor where Syxx is fine trying to win via countout. Back inside, Syxx misses the Bronco Buster this time, but then they double-KO. Flair takes over with the Rolling Knee Drop, the shinbreaker, and then calls for the Figure-Four. Speaking of Syxx’s entourage, they come down to beat up Flair for the DQ. (5:46) Curt Hennig runs down to scare them all off, which is weird, right? Because there was four of them, and Flair was already beaten down in the corner. *½

Gene Okerlund meets with JJ Dillon and ref Nick Patrick. After reviewing footage from Road Wild ALL WEEK, Dillon and the WCW executive committee have decided to take Patrick off probation. Nick Patrick is fine with that, but thinks they should look into ref Randy Anderson’s decision-making in the WCW world title match back at Road Wild. That brings out Randy Anderson to question Nick Patrick’s motives, but JJ Dillon tells them to let it go and ends the interview. Waste of time. Nobody cares about referees.

Sonny Oono still looking for revenge on Ultimo Dragon, it appears. Dragon wrestles circles around La Parka to start. He does the headstand in the corner and delivers the Kick Combo. This is the least interested the crowd seems all night. To the floor, Dragon leaps off the top onto La Parka. Sonny Oono kicks Dragon down to help La Parka gain control. He throws Dragon into the steps and then brings him inside for a powerbomb. That gets two. While in the tree of woe, Dragon receives a spinning heel kick to the gut. La Parka then misses a corner charge and runs into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. DRAGONRANA sets up the DRAGON SLEEPER, but he lets go of the hold when Sonny Oono gets up on the apron. La Parka nails Dragon and goes to whip him into a kick from Oono, but of course Dragon reverses the whip and La Parka takes a not-so-awesome kick in the back. Dragon re-applies the DRAGON SLEEPER and gets the tapout. (4:07) Afterwards, Dragon dropkicks Oono off the apron. Alex Wright meets Ultimo Dragon for the TV title on Thursday! *½

Curt Hennig vs. The Giant

Since there’s not much Hennig can do to beat up the Giant, he just sells a bunch for him. Right before Giant goes for the Chokeslam, Eric Bischoff appears within 50 feet of the ring and declares that the Giant has violated the restraining order. Uhh yeah, restraining orders don’t work like that. Here comes Doug Dellinger and Birmingham’s finest. Dellinger explains to Bischoff that they can’t arrest the Giant, but Bischoff pitches a fit and wants it done anyway. Giant has had enough of this and walks over towards Bischoff. Call it a no-contest. (3:50) As Bischoff tries to retreat up the aisle, Larry Z stands in his way. Bischoff has no choice but to leave through the crowd. Before he gets too far, Giant pulls him back over the ramp. Bischoff then scurries away up the aisle as the police hold back the big guy. Another Chokeslam with this audience would have been SWEET. ¾*

Time for the 1-800-COLLECT Road Report with Lee Marshall. He’s in Columbia, SC this week visiting a zoo looking at a butterfly collection. No, really. He does make an easy weasel joke this week, but Heenan doesn’t get a rebuttal.

We go straight to the ring to see Gene Okerlund with JJ Dillon. He doesn’t have a contract with him this week, but he does want Sting to tell him what he wants between now and Thursday night at the Clash. If he doesn’t tell him, maybe Sting and WCW should part ways. Sting comes down through the crowd and meets Okerlund and Dillon in the ring. WHAT DO YOU WANT, STING? The crowd is chanting Hogan and he is pointing to all kinds of Hogan-related signs. Since Sting doesn’t talk anymore, how can he make it any more obvious?

Two announcements paid for by the new World order: Buy Syxx’s t-shirt for only twenty bucks, and watch the nWo boys play “spray-silly-string-on-the-crude-drawing-of-JJ-Dillon” at their delusional, pseudo birthday party.

Apparently the belts are on the line here. Strong tie-up battle from Luger and Hall to start. Hall brings Luger over to his corner, but Luger fights out. Tag to Nash, and he wants DDP. As they go to lock-up, Nash buries a knee into Page. As Nash starts drilling him in forearm smashes in the back, DDP turns around and wallops Nash with a right hand. Swinging neckbreaker to Nash gets two. Nash takes the shoulder butts, but then catches DDP with a clothesline. Page slips away from the Snake Eyes and delivers a Russian legsweep for two. Nash lands the Big Boot and tags Hall. Fallaway Slam gets two as the Outsiders concentrate on Page. Nash knocks Luger off the apron, they cheat on an abdominal stretch; some fun heel games here as the people of Birmingham aren’t falling for the nWo’s charms tonight. Nash gets the Snake Eyes this time to set up Hall running down DDP from the apron, which pisses off Luger even more. Sleeper by Hall. The arm drops once, twice, BUT NOT THREE TIMES! Page escapes with a back suplex. Nash cuts off the tag at the very last second. He whips Page in for the Side Slam, but DDP counters with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors! Holy Moses. HOT TAG TO LUGER! He goes CLOTHESLINE CRAZY as the nWo panics and runs out for the DQ. (13:39) As Tenay wonders where the WCW guys are at, here comes the Giant and Ric Flair to help for a really big brawl to close out the show. Another fun, hot match as everyone played their roles well. Nash and Hall were huge dicks like they should be, DDP was the sympathetic babyface hero, and Luger was the enraged hot tag guy. ***¼

Even though there were way too many non-finishes tonight, this was a fun show to build up the Clash at the last minute.

WCW presents the Clash of the Champions on August 21 from Nashville, Tennessee!
Here is the card as we know it on August 18.