Thursday, September 30, 2010

I am going to sue the newspaper too, for endangering us all. That is the only thing to do. Despite the encouragement it offers to that giant tree, every time the do this, they insist on continuing to print obituaries, and just a few minutes ago, the human was pleased as anything to find an obituary for Cousin Betty Jean. It's going to add another page to that family book of hers for sure, and I can see the tree growing right in front of me. I wonder if I could recruit my woodpecker tenant to help me out, and to hop into the upper limbs to do a bit of pruning?

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

I do hope that everyone who lives up in the country by the lake the humans are fond of has had time to double their property insurance and hide their food. The human has heard of a festival up that way, that she is now dying to attend, and of course if she goes, Betsy Bear will be accompanying her. I understand there will be a lot of food at this event which can only lead to a disaster with that bear on the loose. She's already been poking around, getting out the big snitching sacks in anticipation of upcoming goodie grabbing. And to make matters worse, a church always has a large sale during this festival, with baked goods poked out right where Betsy is sure to see them. I can only hope that all of those poor people are saying their prayers now, for their doom will be arriving on Saturday, on little bear feet!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

The weather has taken a turn to the chilly side around here, which has made the bunnies develop concerns about their plants. They're talking about hopping out to purchase materials to construct mini-greenhouses and tents for them, and I don't like the way that they keep checking out my cat bed, and saying how perfect the location that it's currently situated in would be for their strawberry pot! I just know they're going to try to move that thing indoors, and then I will be expected to help look after it!

Monday, September 27, 2010

I'm afraid International Rabbit Day went very well for my bunny siblings. All of their fellow rabbits agreed that they are true masters of bunny craftmanship, which I'm sure is going to give those bunnies a ton of encouragement in their pursuit of gardening glory. Who is in charge of holidays like this, anyway? I ought to turn whoever it is over to our neighbors. Thanks to them cooking up that horrible rabbit celebration, the poor neighbors are sure to be homeless soon. The encouragement the bunnies got will undoubtedly lead to the doubling of the garden in size!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

I trust all of my readers survived today's horrible events, with bunnies everywhere celebrating International Rabbit Day. How in the world the bunnies managed to get a holiday devoted to them, I'll never know. Isn't it bad enough that they have that day in spring when the head rabbit comes hopping around lagging baskets of goodies and practically daring Betsy to try to snag him? I would have warned you about today yesterday, so you would have had time to lock yourselves safely away, but the bunnies were distracted by their rooting work, and didn't let me know until bright and early this morning that it was an official bunny holiday. You don't want to know the horrors I have seen today. Rabbits have been everywhere, partying and stuffing themselves silly with vegetables. And then they amused themselves with a marathon of televsion and movies, staring rabbits! I think I might be developing insomnia from the noise!

Saturday, September 25, 2010

The bunnies popped their strawberry vine in for rooting purposes today. They're sure that they will get several plants, possibly as many as six, out of the one vine, and goodness knows what could happen if they bring it in for the winter. It will probably take over the house by spring if that happens. I spotted one of the rabbits scouting out a place for the pot the strawberries are currently rooting in, right next to my cat bed. That doesn't seem to be a good sign at all, and there is much alarming talk about how they ought to try rooting a ton of other stuff too, while they're at it!

Friday, September 24, 2010

The rabbits have obtained rooting material, and are making plans to plant the strawberry to start rooting first thing in the morning. I can only assume this is a sign of disaster to come. And what if these strawberries root and grow? I have heard that strawberries send out something dangerous called runners. The bunnies are planning to keep their plants in here all fall and winter, to let them get a good start. Who knows how much they could grow, especially if these runners get loose?

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

I think I'll send out Christmas cards this year, to every cat that I know, and possibly to every rabbit that my bunny siblings have invited over as well. That out to make a nice, fat load for that pesky mailman. You won't believe what he has done this time. He actually lagged a package, filled with strawberry plants for rooting, to our doorstep for the bunnies! Needless to say, they were thrilled, and now they're plotting to obtain special dirt for maximum rooting potential. Does anyone know how hazardous strawberries are to our neighbors' continuing homeownership?

The human met with that visiting relative again, and she came home alarmingly happy, with much talk about future meetings, to grow the tree being scheduled. Does anyone know the best way to control wild growth of plant life? The human is talking about visiting the mountains next, to show off graves and houses, and that will surely lead to disaster for those poor mountain bears, if Betsy accompanies them, as she always does. The human's already added a new limb just tonight!

Monday, September 20, 2010

The mailman foolishly lagged a big envelope stuffed with genealogy materials to the human's mailbox today. Really, it will serve him right with the stuff he keeps bringing her if he then has to deliver piles of her genealogy books. And I think I might make him deliver some flyers advertising my participation in that PetSmart contest, too. Really, with the encouragement he keeps giving my human, it's only fair that he's punished in some way.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

I have good news for a change! The human has entered me in a contest at PetSmart. I urge all of my readers to go here right away and vote for me. The prize is a commercial appearance, and I would look so nice on television. Okay, so the rabbits are hopping around, saying that I can use the commercial to promote their tales of rabbit terror. I can deal with that. There's a thing called a green room, I hear tale, on television sets. That sounds like the kind of place for bunnies. They'll be so busy stuffing themselves silly with veggies that they'll forget about hopping onto the set. Vote for me right away, and vote often!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Does anyone know how I can best hide magazines and block sites that provide information about genealogy and future talks on genealogy? The human has found out about another place, offering a series of talks on the horrible family tree, and now she's all fired up, wanting to go. And to make matters worse, they are holding this event near one of the branches of that nightmarish tree, which will surely give her more material for its continued growth. Isn't there a law someplace, against such a large piece of horticulture?

Friday, September 17, 2010

Does anyone know how I can go about suing the local election commission? They allowed an obvious lunatic on the ballot, and to make matters worse, the loon won, and has now restored the library and even worse, the genealogy archives, to full operating hours! The shrunken hours were the only thing saving us all from that tree reaching monster heights! We are doomed, we are all doomed, thanks to this loony! The human is even looking into sending him a nice fat cake as a thank you gift, which is surely a sign that she plans to take full advantage of the additional hours of research time.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Tonight's blog will be a bit short. I suspect the human will be in wanting to sleep shortly. She is covered in hives, and was forced to take a medication that knocks her out. Betsy Bear is the chief suspect in this hive reaction.

Monday, September 13, 2010

The human met with a cousin today, to discuss that tree. Normally, that would be the bad part, but then something happened to overshadow potential tree growth. The human went off with this cousin, and Betsy Bear was left to wait in the car, right outside of a bakery. I am now afraid to turn on the television, because I am sure that bear will be on the news, as the main suspect in the poor bakery's robbery and in the nervous breakdowns of the bakery employees! Really, doesn't the human know better than to do such a thing by now?

Sunday, September 12, 2010

I am going to sue the squirrels for every nut that they have. One of those pests was playing around this morning, juggling nuts, I do believe, when a nut when a bit too high, and the next thing we knew, a transformer had blown. We didn't lose power here, thank goodness, but until the human found out what happened, there was much discussion amongst the teddies on whether the noise could call for an emergency evacuation of the house, and if so, the best way to lag me out. They have currently decided that the best way to do this is to stuff me into a cardboard box, and seal it with duct tape until I am safely locked in the car, and all teddies are loaded up as well. And they're talking about practicing this as well! Does anyone know where I can get a box cutter on short notice?

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Does anyone know the best place to get a fur suit dry cleaned? I'm sure my poor fur needs it. The human is still sad and depressed over her plans to sell those books falling apart like they did, and she spent the morning sobbing over it. Do you know the damage that tears can do to fur? I'm sure that the salt is sapping away all of the moisture from my fur, and making it dry and brittle.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

My poor fur. I'll have to have it dry-cleaned, I'm sure. The human just found out that over a thousand children are attending that reenactment tomorrow, which seems like it might bode well for the weekend crowd. She's sure all of her books would sell, and she would probably get orders for more, too, and now she can't go. She tears up every time she thinks about it, which is murder on the fur. I wonder if I should demand the bunnies hop out to purchase a rain coat for me? And even worse, if all of those books sold, think of the money that I could then figure ways to get my paws on! Now I'm getting depressed over this situation!

The human's plan to attend that reenactment to talk about the horrible family tree, and to sell her books has completely fallen apart, leaving me with a sobbing human, and danger of fur damage due to tears. And, to make matters worse, I actually saw her coil a couple of books, just to see how it would work, and apparently what the rabbits said coil insertion was is completely different than the actual job, because what the human did looked like fun, and something I'm sure that I could do so much better than her. Only now she's so upset, she isn't wanting to try to put together anymore books, not ones related to that awful tree and not ones for the church! Now what am I going to do? 200 coils, and unless the human produces books, I won't get to get my paws on a single one!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

I stepped up my plans to save myself from being forced to coil all of those books today. While the human was snoozing, I found one of my groundhog siblings' party guests, who was still napping in the yard from their last gathering, and I bribed him wiht a can of peas to waddle out to the office store for a bit of sabotage. Needless to say, the human wasn't please to get a call, saying the hole punch was broken! She's trying another store now, so I suppose as soon as she goes to bed, I'll have to send that groundhog on another mission. I don't care how many monkeywrenches it takes, I am stopping book production! I just hope the monkeys don't need a wrench for something before I am through.

Monday, September 6, 2010

The books are at the office store, awaiting hole punching. Apparently that takes more than one day to do 100 books. One one hand, this is good, since it will mean that my poor paws will be spared coil work for a few more days, but on the down side, it means that when the books are done, coil inserting will be rushed. I'll likely have a bunny standing over me, telling me to insert faster, and poking me with a carrot the entire time!

Sunday, September 5, 2010

The humans collated all of the books today, with the assistance of the rabbits, and added covers and backs. 100 books are now in two boxes, awaiting a trip to the office store for hole punching, and then back home for me to wear my little paws out, on the coil insertion line. I tried to sabotage things by leaping into the middle of the collating line, but I was captured, and locked up until they were through. I have never suffered so much in my life, being locked up, being poked repeatedly with carrots, and the worst is yet to come with those coils!

Saturday, September 4, 2010

She did it. She really did it. Thanks to those rabbits, guarding the ink, and using carrots to make me keep my distance, the human was able to finish her printing. There is now a stack of papers, a foot and a half high, awaiting hole punching, and then coil insertion. My poor paws hurt just thinking about it!

Friday, September 3, 2010

I was able to drain a bit of ink from the second ink cartridge when the bunny who was guarding it hopped off for a second to arm herself with a carrot to use as a weapon. I didn't get nearly enough of it, though, because the human is almost half done with printing all of the pages she needs. And she purchased two more cartridges, that are supposed to be packed with extra ink to give her more pages. She expects if things continue t the present rate to have all pages printed tonight. And, to make matters worse, all of the rabbits have armed themselves with carrots and are hopping back and forth in front of the new ink to make sure I can't get it.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

I've suffered a little setback on Phase One of preventing book production. The human went out and got not one but two, fresh cartridges of ink this afternoon. She's just started printing, and to make matters worse, I think the rabbits are suspicious of me. A bunny is standing guard over the ink at the moment. Any ideas for how I can distract her, to get rid of the second cartridge?

Disney has finally opened their new animal hotel. See the post about it here. And can I say how eager I am to try it out? Sure, it seems like it mainly caters to dogs, but with only thirty cat guests at a time, we felines will be an exclusive bunch, with only the best kitties getting in. Of course, I would have to take the trip in Betsy Bear's company, but we wouldn't be at the same hotel. The staff over at Kitty City would never have to know that I'm related to that bear, right?

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Phase one of my plan to save myself from being forced to spend Labor Day laboring to insert a bunch of coils into books has begun. The human got everything together, and was happily anticipating working on her books today, to have them ready to have holes punched for coil insertion tomorrow. Well, I tossed a monkeywrench into that! I sabotaged her ink! It conked out on her, before she could get past her first page of printing. Really, it was my most brilliant idea ever, if I do say so myself. Now if I can just figure out how to prevent the purchase of more ink, I will be golden. Oh, and if I can just prevent the monkeys from wandering by to ask where their wrench went, that would be good too.