Archive for the 'Humor/games/children' Category

“The Lone Fish Ball” is based on a true adventure. Harvard professor George Martin Lane (1823-1897) arriving in Boston after a journey, found himself hungry and had only 25 cents in his pocket. He needed to reserve half that money to pay his carfare to Cambridge. With the remaining 12 cents he entered a restaurant and ordered the least expensive item on the menu. It happened to be macaroni but over the years it was changed to one fish ball, a favorite breakfast food of Harvard undergraduates. The song remained popular with them for decades.

During the Civil War, several of Lane’s professorial colleagues turned his song into a fundraiser for Union soldiers. Folklorist Francis James Child ’46, LL.D. ’84, worked it up into a mock Italian operetta, Il Pesceballo, which was performed in Cambridge and Boston.

In 1944 Hy Zaret and Lou Singer revamped the song as a blues calling it “One Meatball.” It was a big hit for Josh White! The Andrews Sisters and Bing Crosby also recorded it.

I have written an new melody and added lyrics.

Lyrics:
The Lone Fish Ball

[G]There was a man went up and down,
[C]To seek a dinner thro’ the [Am] town. X2 [D] Hurray!

[C]What wretch is he who wife forsakes,
[D] Who best of jam and waffles makes! X2 They say

[G]He feels his cash to know his pence,
[C] And finds he has just but [Am] six cents. X2 [D] To pay

[C]He finds at last a right cheap place,
[D] He enters in with modest face. X2 Anyway

[G]The bill of fare he searches through,
[C] To see what his [Am] six cents will do. X2 [D] Today

[C]The cheapest viand of them all,
[D] Is “Twelve cents for two Fish-balls.” X2 everyday

It’s hard to imagine a song about the “ABC’s” without the tune to “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.” The song only uses eight of the letters of the alphabet. But that’s how I learned it from the John Quincy Wolf Collection OZARK FOLKSONGS. You can listen to the original version there. Not sure if there were verses for the rest of the letters and the guy just forgot them or that’s all they had to say. In any case I modulated keys on this to make it more musically interesting.

Lyrics:

[A] Oh, A was an archer,
And he shot a big frog.

[E] B was a butcher,
And he had a big [A] dog.

[A] And C was a carpenter
All covered with lace,

[E] And D was a drunkard,
And he had a red [A] face.

[D] Oh, E was a squire (Maybe that was originally Esquire)
With pride on his brow.

[C] A Preacher went out a-huntin’ was [F] on one Sunday [C] morn
It was against his religion, but he [D] took his rifle [G] along
[C] He shot himself three mighty fine quail
and [F] one little measly [C] hare
[F] And on his way [C] returning [Am] home,
[D] he met a great big [G] Grizzly [C] Bear

[Am] Now the bear marched out in the middle of the road
[Em] Right up to the Preacher [Am] you see
[D] The Preacher got so excited, he climbed up a cinnamon [G] tree
[C] The bear sat down upon the ground,
the [F] Preacher climbed out on a [C] limb
[F] Well he cast his [C] eyes to the [D] Lord in the skies,
[G] These words he said to [C] Him

[C] Oh Lordy, didn’t you deliver [F] Daniel from the lion’s [C] den
Also, deliver Jonah, from the [D] belly of a whale and [G] then
[C] Three Hebrew children from the fiery furnace
so the [F] Good Book do [C] declare
[F] Oh Lord, if you [C] can’t help [D] me,
[G] Please don’t help [C] that bear

[C] Now the Preacher was up in that tree,
[F] I think it was [C] all night
[C] He said Mr Bear if you bother me,
[D] I’ll give you an awful [C] fight
Just about that time the limb let go
and the [F] Preacher came a-tumblin’ [C] down
[F] You could see him getting his [C] razor [D] out
[G] before he hit the [C] ground

[Am] Now he hit the ground cuttin’ right and left,
[Em] he put up a very good [Am] fight
[D] Then the bear grabbed the Preacher,
and he squeezed him a little too [G] tight
[C] The Preacher dropped his razor, the [F] bear held on with a [C] vim
[F] Well he cast his eyes to the [C] Lord in the [D] skies
[G] These words he said to [C] Him
CH
[C] They fought all the way to the river,
[F] it was a terrible [C] fight
That bear just kept a-hanging on,
but the [D] Preacher was a-doing all [G] right
[C] He dragged that beast right down in the water
[F] it was three times in and [C] out
[F] Then the bear got up and he [C] limped [D] away
[G] and the Preacher began to [C] shout

[C] Oh, Lordy, didn’t you deliver [F] Daniel from the lion’s [C] den
Also, deliver Jonah, from the [D] belly of a whale, [G] Amen,
And oh Lord, it may-not look like much from way up there,
But the hardest job I ever done was a-baptizing that bear.

Reminds me of this joke:

The Atheist and the Bear!

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that the evolution had created. “What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!”, he said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing.

He ran even faster, so scared that tears were coming to his eyes. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out “Oh my God!….”
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
Even the river stopped moving.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky, “You deny my existence for all of these years; teach others I don’t exist; and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?”

The atheist looked directly into the light “It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as Christian now, but perhaps could you make the bear a Christian?”

“Very well,” said the voice.
The light went out.
The river ran again.
And the sounds of the forest resumed.
And then the bear dropped his right paw ….. brought both paws together…bowed his head and spoke:

“Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful…AMEN!”
Author Unknown

This is a comic children’s song written by Harry S. Miller in 1893. It has since been adopted by numerous folk singers.

This is dedicated to all cat lovers, especially Cynthia Kula and Morgan Fairchild.

Lyrics:

[E] Old Mr. Johnson had some troubles of his own
He had a little kitty cat that wouldn’t leave his [B7] home
[E] He tried one day to give the cat away
So he gave it to the preacher and thought he [B7] would [E] stay.

[E] But the cat come back, [A] thought he was a goner
[E] But the cat come back, [B7] cat come back
[E] The very next day the [A] cat come back
[E] Oh he thought he was a goner
But he [B7] couldn’t stay [E] away

Gave it to a railroad engineer,
Take the little kitty cat away from here
But the boiler busted so they say
And the cat come back the very next day

But the cat come back, thought he was a goner
But the cat come back, cat come back
The very next day the cat come back
Oh he thought he was a goner
But he couldn’t stay away

He gave it to a man in a hot air baloon
Told him to give it to the man in the moon
But the balloon busted so they say
And the cat come back the very next day

But the cat come back, thought he was a goner
But the cat come back, cat come back
The very next day the cat come back
Oh he thought he was a goner
But he couldn’t stay away

This is a classic children’s song and game brought to the United States by German immigrants in the mid 1820s. It has been translated into many languages around the world. In the game the players form a circle and hold hands. One person is selected to be the farmer. The people in the circle move around and the farmer chooses a wife. The wife joins the farmer in the center and chooses the child. They all choose someone until the cheese is left standing alone. It has a Roud Folk Song Index number of 6306.

My wife Camilla remembers playing this game when she was a little girl in Beaufort South Carolina.

Lyrics:

[G] The farmer in the dell (2x)
Hi-ho, the derry-o
The farmer [D] in the [G] dell

Instrumental:
[Em] [D] [G]

The farmer takes a wife (2×)
Hi-ho, the derry-o…
The farmer takes a wife

Instrumental:
[Em] [D] [G]

The wife takes the child (2×)
Hi-ho, the derry-o…
The wife takes the child

Instrumental:
[Em] [D] [G]

The child takes the maid (2×)
Hi-ho, the derry-o…
The child takes the maid

Instrumental:
[Em] [D] [G]

The maid takes the cow (2×)
Hi-ho, the derry-o…
The nurse takes the cow

Instrumental:
[Em] [D] [G]

The cow takes the dog (2×)
Hi-ho, the derry-o…
The cow takes the dog

Instrumental:
[Em] [D] [G]

The dog takes the cat (2×)
Hi-ho, the derry-o…
The dog takes the cat

Instrumental:
[Em] [D] [G]

The cat takes the mouse (2×)
Hi-ho, the derry-o…
The cat takes the mouse

Instrumental:
[Em] [D] [G]

The mouse takes the cheese (2×)
Hi-ho, the derry-o…
The mouse takes the cheese

This is a well known children’s song from the 19th century. It is in the Roud Folk Song Index as number 2649. It’s been collected in various parts of England and Ireland. When sung in Northern Ireland it’s known as “The Belle of Belfast City.” There is a game associated with this song. Children form a ring by joining hands while one child stands in the middle. When asked “Please tell me who they be?” The child in the middle gives the name or initials of a child in the ring and after the rest of the lyrics are sung the named child goes in the middle.

Lyrics:

[G] I’ll tell my ma [C] when I get home,
[G] The boys won’t leave [D] the girls alone
[G] They pull my hair and [C] stole my comb
[D] But that’s all right [G] till I go home

[G] She is handsome, [C] she is pretty,
[G] She is the Belle of [D] Belfast city
[G] She is a courtin’ [C] one, two, three,
[D] Please won’t you tell me [G] who is she

Albert Mooney says he loves her,
All the boys are fightin’ for her
Knock at the door and ring at the bell,
Saying oh my true love, are you well

Out she comes as white as snow,
Rings on her fingers, bells on her toes
Ould Johnny Morrissey says she’ll die
If she doesn’t get the fella with the roving eye

Let the wind and the rain and the hail blow high
And the snow come travellin’ through the sky
She’s as sweet as apple pie,
She’ll get her own lad by and by

When she gets a lad of her own
She won’t tell her ma when she gets home
Let them all come as they will
For it’s Albert Mooney she loves still

“The Dodger Song” was used in the presidential election of 1884 by Democratic candidate Grover Cleveland against Republican James Blane who was portrayed as a crooked politician.

Lyrics:

[E] Oh, the candidate’s a dodger, yes, a well-known dodger,
Oh, the candidate’s a dodger, yes, [B7] and I’m a dodger [E] too.
He’ll meet you and treat you and ask you for your vote,
[B7] But look out, boys, he’s a-dodgin’ for your [E] vote.

We’re all a-dodgin’,
Dodgin’, dodgin’, dodgin’,
Oh, we’re all a-dodgin’ out the [B7] way through the [E] world.

Oh, the lawyer, he’s a dodger, yes, a well-known dodger,
Oh, the lawyer, he’s a dodger, yes, and I’m a dodger, too.
He’ll plead your case and claim you for a friend,
But look out, boys, he’s easy for to bend.

Oh, the merchant, he’s a dodger, yes, a well-known dodger,
Oh, the merchant, he’s a dodger, yes, and I’m a dodger, too.
He’ll sell you goods at double the price,
But when you go to pay him you’ll have to pay him twice.

Oh, the sheriff, he’s a dodger, yes, a well-known dodger,
Oh, the sheriff, he’s a dodger, yes, and I’m a dodger, too.
He’ll act like a friend and a mighty fine man,
But look out, boys, he’ll put you in the can.

Oh, the general, he’s a dodger, yes, a well-known dodger,
Oh the general, he’s a dodger, yes, and I’m a dodger, too.
He’ll march you up and he’ll march you down,
But look out, boys, he’ll put you under ground.

Oh, the lover is a dodger, yes, a well-known dodger,
Oh, the lover is a dodger, yes, and I’m a dodger, too.
He’ll hug you and kiss you and call you his bride,
But look out, girls, he’s telling you a lie.

A popular children’s gospel song. I got a lot of joy on April 1, 1978. I married Camilla.

Lyrics:

G POSITION CAPO ON SECOND FRET
[G] I’ve got a Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy, down in my heart
[D] Down in my heart, [G] down in my heart
I’ve got a Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy, down in my heart
[D] Down in my heart [G] today

I’ve got a beautiful wonderful happy feeling down in my heart
Down in my heart, down in my heart
I’ve got a beautiful wonderful happy feeling down in my heart
Down in my heart to stay

[Bm] It’s a whole new way of [Em] living, [Bm] far from the dark of [Em] night
[Bm] I’ll tell you the joy it’s [Em] giving me
[A7] Just walking in the [D] light

I’ve got a peace that passes understanding down in my heart
Down in my heart, down in my heart
I’ve got a peace that passes understanding down in my heart
Down in my heart to stay

It’s a whole new way of living far from the dark of night
I’ll tell you the joy it’s giving me
Just walking in the light

This is an English language children’s counting, nursery rhyme listed in the Roud Folk Song Index: number 3550. Nobody knows who composed it but it was said to have been learned from a Welsh nurse in the 1870s.

Lyrics:

[G] This old man, he played one,
[C] He played knick-knack on my [D] thumb;
[G] With a knick-knack paddywhack,
Give the dog a bone,
[D] This old man came [G] rolling home.

This old man, he played two,
He played knick-knack on my shoe;
With a knick-knack paddywhack,
Give the dog a bone,
This old man came rolling home.

This old man, he played three,
He played knick-knack on my knee;
With a knick-knack paddywhack,
Give the dog a bone,
This old man came rolling home.

This old man, he played four,
He played knick-knack on my door;
With a knick-knack paddywhack,
Give the dog a bone,
This old man came rolling home.

This old man, he played five,
He played knick-knack on my hive;
With a knick-knack paddywhack,
Give the dog a bone,
This old man came rolling home.

This old man, he played six,
He played knick-knack on my sticks;
With a knick-knack paddywhack,
Give the dog a bone,
This old man came rolling home.

This old man, he played seven,
He played knick-knack up in heaven;
With a knick-knack paddywhack,
Give the dog a bone,
This old man came rolling home.

This old man, he played eight,
He played knick-knack on my gate;
With a knick-knack paddywhack,
Give the dog a bone,
This old man came rolling home.

This old man, he played nine,
He played knick-knack on my spine;
With a knick-knack paddywhack,
Give the dog a bone,
This old man came rolling home.

This old man, he played ten,
He played knick-knack once again;
With a knick-knack paddywhack,
Give the dog a bone,
This old man came rolling home.

This was a traditional children’s song from Trinidad with one verse called “All Who Born In January.” But I have already done a Folk Den song for January so I invoked the “Folk Process” and renamed it “February Song.” I have added new verses as well. Now it’s a joyous winter song. If you wish to sing it in its original version the verse is at the bottom of the page.

The image above is “A Brush for the Lead”, lithograph by Currier and Ives, 1867

Lyrics:

[G] All who Born In February [D] come [G] around
[G] All who Born In February [D] come around
[G] Singing dancing [C] in the frost
[G] Singing dancing [C] in the frost
[G] All who Born In February [D] come [G] around

All who like a sleigh ride come around
All who like a sleigh ride come around
New York Flyers on the snow
New York Flyers on the snow
All who like a sleigh ride come around

All who like a snowman come around
All who like a snowman come around
Coal for eyes and a carrot nose
Coal for eyes and a carrot nose
All who like a snowman come around

All who like those jingle bells come around
All who like those jingle bells come around
Jingle Jangle through the town
Jingle Jangle through the town
All who like those jingle bells come around

All who like a fireplace come around
All who like a fireplace come around
Warm and cozy on your toes
Warm and cozy on your toes
All who like a fireplace come around

All who Born In February come around
All who Born In February come around
Singing dancing in the frost
Singing dancing in the frost
All who Born In February come around