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This is a Boo Boo bunny.
A very old Boo Boo bunny.
Made from a wash cloth and a rubber band.
He lives in my freezer. Just waiting to have an ice-cube slipped in his back.
To lay his little tummy on a bruise or goose egg.…
He hasn’t been needed in a very long time.
Found him squished in the back with some old frozen corn.
Stuck to a sticky popsicle.
Hope he finds a heart and a home with all the new mother’s I know.
Pretty sure you could find how to make him on Pin Interest. He basically is a rolled up wash rag, with a rubber band around it to make ears. Make sure the ice-cube is nestled in material. Don’t want to put ice direct on the skin.
And don’t forget the KISS that makes it all better.

I’ve been procrastinating writing this chapter. If you are here for the first time you may want to start with this post, https://ktskindwords.com/2013/12/28/begin/, because this IS a manual and I’ve been trying to write it in a linear way. Hopefully, individual posts are helpful but I’d like to think it’s read as a whole.

Why has it been so hard to start? Well, that’s an age old problem I have no answer for. I’m as lazy as the next guy, and do dread the act of actually putting it down on paper. I’d much rather tell y’all this in a video blog, but that means I’d have to put on a face. Much too lazy for that!

But truthfully, I kept pondering what I really wanted to say. I mean, knowledge is a large word that contains everything there is to know!

And that’s what you need to share with your children. Everything you know.

When I went to Girl Scout camp at 9 years old we all made up nicknames. I crowned myself “Fawn”. Very soon some older girls started calling me “Fawn Kotex”. I didn’t know what a Kotex was. Wasn’t happy when I found out.

I decided when I did, that my children would never be the butt of a joke they didn’t understand.

I’ve been accused of starting too early talking about certain things but I really think that if you are going to err, err on the side of more talking!

It can be uncomfortable.

When my son was around 11 years old, he was a fan of Adam Sandler, who I thought was pretty tame. I listened to a song my son was singing that he had heard on the CD. Adam was joking about a Peeping Tom and mentions how much he wanted a golden shower.

Gah! Not something you want to hear your 11 year old singing! I asked,

“Son, do you know what a golden shower is?”

“No.”

I have to say I’m glad I hadn’t waited until 11 years old to explain the birds and the bees. Made it a little easier to explain how some people, who momma thinks were unloved, find sexual excitement by having someone urinate on them.

“Oh.”

Didn’t sing the song again.

I want you to tell your children all the secret knowledge you know. The stuff no one told you. The stuff you had to learn the hard way.

Give them the edge. The jump up.

Start with things like polite people don’t pick their nose and kids will tease you if you do. Warn them, people.

Anything you did stupid and wish you’d never done. Tell them!

This idea we have to hide our stupid pasts doesn’t make sense to me. We are supposed to be evolving. We need to share our mistakes so that hopefully our kids make new mistakes!

You have to answer their questions. And it’s usually nice to give the other side of what you may have opinions on, so they are prepared for that too.

Do you want their first introduction to the other side of things to be coming from the other side??

You need to be talking all along. They need to trust that you tell them the truth as you know it. And there are things you believe but don’t know and you have to tell them that.

I did have to do some convincing to my husband. I didn’t want to tell my children that Santa, the Tooth Fairy or the Easter Bunny were real. I didn’t want them excited or have their hopes up and then disappoint them with the truth. Especially as at the time it was important to me that they believed in an invisible Jesus.

I don’t believe in toying with little minds.

My 24 year old just told me that she believed in Santa but thought it was clever that I told her Santa bills each parent as to what they can afford. I guess I wasn’t perfect. But I tried to answer direct questions pretty directly. I also got stronger in my belief in telling the truth. But I still believed in the “traditions” of Christmas. The things we like to pretend together. So we put out carrots for the reindeer and cookies for Santa. It was a gradual awakening to the truth. They didn’t feel deceived.

By that time they had learned the little secrets we keep so we can surprise those we love. Then they enjoy being in on the secret! But no bully on the play ground shattered their dreams or made them question if their mother told the truth.

Many people have children that they hope will help them farm or carry on a family business. Maybe be the first one to go to college or to follow in their footsteps to their Alma-mater. We hope they will give us grandchildren. Take care of us in old age.

I had MY kids because I was determined to grow a people that understood and loved me. The “I Hate Katie Club” from 3rd grade still chanted in the back of my head. My relationship with my mother and been very strained. I set out to prove if you treated children with love and respect they’d love you. A “We Love KT Club”.

I got the love I expected but I failed to account for the fact that if you do your job right, your children grow up and go away. The new “We Love KT Club” wasn’t going to be living with me forever.

I also realized that even though MY needs for love were met, I’d put five individuals on their own path to find love and fulfillment in a sometimes cold, scary world and they’d have to do it on their own.

My good friend in elementary school had a developmentally challenged sister. She was older than we were but still wore diapers. The effort her mother had to go through changing her made a real impression on me.

I began to think, if I had a special needs child I’d be SO grateful if they could wipe their bottom and feed themselves.Those two tiny things would make my work as a mother so much easier.

So, I began to have the attitude that my job really was to prepare my children to feed themselves and clean up after themselves. If they could do that EVERYTHING else was a bonus.

The metaphor worked because in the big picture all their growth was towards these goals. If they got an education or developed and extraordinary talent it meant they would be feeding themselves better and perhaps could pay others to clean up after them!

But those were the basic responsibilities we had as citizens. Feed yourself and don’t make a mess.

So, the next time you find yourself asking more and more from your children, reflect on what they have ALREADY accomplished.

Count your blessings if they walk, talk, smile. Don’t wait until your child has received the good grades before you love them for all they are NOW.

Appreciate your children the way a special needs mother does. Appreciate that you aren’t changing diapers. That they CAN carry their plates to the sink.

As my children grew, there have been times when I thought,”Whoa I’ve taken this too far and I haven’t expected enough.”

But It’s not their job to be here to please me. I forced them into this world, it’s MY job to give them every help and encouragement I can to find their way.

Do I still feel blessed to have my Mars Rovers out there reporting back to me what they have learned and observed? Yes, but that’s a bonus not a right.

I’m a pediatrician’s daughter. I grew up with the mind set that you are born with a body that works. My dad was always off checking on new perfect little babies or sending sick babies off to specialists. His bread and butter was just talking mothers through things mother nature takes care of. I learned that if you weren’t delirious, fever was your friend. It was killing the germs that were making you sick. You weren’t trying to get rid of a fever, just trying to be comfortable. To never wake a sleeping baby/child. (Unless it’s been dropped on it’s head. Then you wake it every hour for the first 24…hope I don’t need to explain that these are general principles.)I learned it’s easier to get rid of a bug than to kill it, so you scrubbed EVERY scrape with soap, warm water and a wash rag. Neither me or my five children have had anything get infected in the last 53 years.I learned colds were caused by viruses so I or my children rarely if ever took antibiotics.This is the short list.I was thinking about it today because I heard a teaser that said maybe what we thought was high blood pressure was really normal. Gah! The only medicine I even take is for my slightly elevated blood pressure! And yesterday it was the vitamins we don’t need to take. Could they continue to whipsaw us anymore?I believe I’ve staid healthy because of my common sense father, picking eating and benign neglect.Never followed any fad diet. Never stopped eating butter. Never ate spicy foods. (My intestines work like a charm) I lived on peanut butter and tuna.Never over did anything. Never held back my emotions. Good or bad they have flowed freely, leaving me with a soft heart and arteries I believe.I can hear my daughter saying “Get a blog mother!”Just putting it out there that our normal state should be joy and health. Keep your hands out of your mouth. nose and eyes and you’ll save yourself some grief. I DO know that many are out there in the midst of healing. I have been blessed beyond measure with good health and count it God’s grace. I’m hoping to curb just a tiny bit the ways we make ourselves sick. May you soon be back to health and comfort.