Monday, January 1, 2018

The Asocial Blog

Philip Pugh's Asocial Blog

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I always thought of myself as a social person, first down
the Student Union Bar. 40 years later I have no idea how much a pint of beer
costs in a pub. Do they even serve pints these days, or is it half-litres?
That’s what I mean by being “asocial”. Being anti-social is deliberate sabotage
of other peoples’ lives, like vandalising bus timetables, smashing windows and
all that. I’m certainly not that, nor do I wish to be. I simply do not meet
people in a traditional social setting. At first, I thought it was me, that I
was somehow different and not inherently likeable. Well I do have personality
traits that many people find uninteresting or irritating but just name one
person who doesn’t, not that I’m using that in any way as an excuse. No, I’ve
come to the conclusion that we now live in a very asocial society (is it even a
“society” any more?). I’m just an example and not an exception.

Firstly, social life pretty much went out of the window when
our daughter was born. No, I do not regret having her, nor do I regret putting
her first but, as a result, my wife and I neglected ourselves. Secondly, I live
far from my birth family and even further than my in-laws, actually the other
side of the Atlantic and the equator. We have friendships here that we value
very much and they know we are here for them and vice-versa. Thirdly, it is
impossible to meet friends down the pub or visit anyone when you are part-way
round the world on a business or, for that matter, packing for one or unpacking
from one! But I’m online a lot and I do interact with people through work, so I
do have a social comment, even though I am asocial.

Walk-On Girls

So yes, it is like two sides of a coin. Feminists claim that
parading female beauty (or perhaps, in their eyes, female sexuality) is demeaning
to women. The girls feel that they are being denied a source of income. So who
is right?

Miss World, F1 girls, you name it, they have all come under
fire. Yet, unlike many porn stars, nobody is forcing these girls to take part
in these events. Besides, this is neither porn nor bare sexuality. They are being
paid and, usually, quite well. If they are being objectified, it is of their
own free will.

Now would I mind if I was objectified for my looks? Not a
bit, although whatever looks I might have had have long gone. However, that is
not really the point. In general, women do not usually objectify men in the
same way that men objectify women, so my view is more hypothetical. I fully
support the right of women to look at naked men but, honestly, the main
“market” for pictures of “sexy” men is the gay community. Would I mind being
“objectified” by a gay man? No, not really. Gay men have as much right to
objectify men as lesbians have the right to objectify women. Yet, it is
undeniable and an inconvenient truth, that men are the main objectifiers, so
perhaps the feminists have a point.

As I’ve become older, I have separated the idea of beauty
from “sexiness”. Maybe it came as the result of growing up and being dad to a
young woman. Is parading female beauty objectifying? I say no but parading
female sexiness is. Is it morally wrong? Perhaps but only because men are not
objectified to the same extent. There is a fundamental difference between the
genders in this way. Yet, is it the willing, paid participants who are being
exploited or the (mostly) men as the consumers?

Would I like my daughter to appear on Page 3? Not on your
nelly! But I would defend her right to do so if that was her choice.

This is crass lunacy on so many levels. Firstly, there are fights in and outside pubs and nightclubs very weekend in this country. Why does it take more than three months to investigate an alleged fight outside a nightclub? Surely the police and judicial system have got several centuries worth of experience of dealing with these sort of things? I've seen some speculation as to what happened, yet seen nothing to confirm or deny it.

I always thought people were supposed to be innocent until proven guilty. Now, if someone is in the public eye, they are "tried and convicted" by the press and if they are proven innocent, well there is "no smoke without fire" is there? Didn't he hire a great solicitor who could get him off?

Then what about the England and Wales Cricket Board? The Aussies must be laughing their heads off at us. Perhaps Ben Stokes was unwise to be outside a nightclub after 2 AM. As far as I know there was no grievous bodily harm and if they ever jailed everyone who ever got involved in a bit of fisticuffs, over half of the adult male population would be in clink. No, I'm not excusing it and I'm not condoning it but a fight outside a nightclub is hardly in the same class as armed robbery, terrorism or causing death by drunk driving. If the judicial system couldn't get their act together and knock the issue on the head BEFORE the start of the Ashes, then why was Ben Stokes not allowed to play? Perhaps he should have been suspended from vice-captain, at least until it was resolved.

As it was, this lunacy cost England one of their top players. Few might speculate that we would have saved the Ashes even if he played but even the Aussies would feel that the team that they beat wasn't a full strength one and the victory was somewhat hollow. Has this been in the public interests and the interests of the game of cricket? Not a hope?

January 17th Minister for Loneliness

Government gimmick or a genuine attempt to deal with an increasing problem? Whichever your view, loneliness is real and it won't go away in a hurry.

Aside from the devastation that most of us feel following a bereavement or relationship break-up, there is the feeling that many people do not have much contact with others. Honestly, I think that the problem has always been with us but has become much worse. Unlike the USA, people in the UK have traditionally been reluctant to migrate far from where they grew up. However, people have become more willing to move to better jobs, cleaner air, less traffic, more entertainment, cheaper housing and a million and one other reasons. Cheaper 'phone calls and the internet have helped people keep in touch with friends and family but, quite often, intra-country migrants do not make many new friends after they move. Despite labour-saving devices, people are more busy with longer working hours, longer commutes and the financial necessity of needing two full-time incomes to support a family.

Using myself as an example, I have a small circle of people that I see often. Those of you who remember George Best, will know that he was not only a great footballer but also a great social personality. Yet he once said that he only had six really close friends. If we are close to a small number of people, the loss of one can have a profound impact.

I think we have lost our sense of local community over they years but was it ever really there? Perhaps in pockets of the UK but not to the extent it is portrayed on telly. I think most people experience loneliness at some stage in their lives. Is there a cure and will having a minister for it make any difference? The jury is out.

January 21st Halesgate like Stokesgate

Another daft situation where a cricketer was suspended for non-cricket-related incidents: http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/42762619. Would a shop assistant be suspended from their job for being involved in a fight on a night out???