(My wife) Lynn had a nasty grade 3 cancer 2.5 years ago. She had mastectomy plus chemo and radio therapy. However she has recently developed inflammatory breast cancer in her remaining breast and some break out of the first cancer around her mastectomy scar. This isn't good. So she's back on chemo (including Herceptin for the next year). I was a bit fragile anyway because I lost my Dad last month. (My mum died of breast cancer in '95.) so it's tough dealing with what's happening to Lynn. I'm sure you get the picture. Our son Tom is dealing with it all amazingy well. He's in his room, playing his Les Paul and singing (growl
ing) along to Slipknot and Trivium - all blood and thunder. Oh what it is to be a 14yo! (I do wonder if his calm and loving birth experience helped him to be so 'grounded'? I was born in the 50's in one of those hospitals where starched white nurses whisked the babies away and put it straight in cots away from the mothers. It's no wonder I have a tendency towards anxiety!)

I'm holding up ok really. I just wanted to communicate something that isn't about big cocks to some of you people who are interested in relationships, emotions, life and love. Please girls, check your breasts regularly.
Love Henry (Riven650)

(The lovely mercurialbliss wrote
Thank you for sharing, Henry. Your story touched me deeply. I encourage you to start a thread in Et Cetera, Et Cetera on this subject. I'll happily contribute (several members of my family battled various forms of cancer). You need support right now; allow us to give you as much as possible.

Thank you mercurialbliss. In previous posts of yours I have felt a strong connection with your attitude, your sence of humour, your... well most things you say. You are a honey. And now you are the first to come out with this offer of friendship. I too am deeply touched. Thank you. :smile:

Gold Member

I don't want to sound trite, but a very good friend of mine has just come through a double mastectomy, she has four young kids, we all went through the mincer that life can be, but she is fine now and I have to say her reconstructed breasts look great, probably not worth the turmoil, but hey we are only men and we do love our women.

Gold Member

Thank you mercurialbliss. In previous posts of yours I have felt a strong connection with your attitude, your sence of humour, your... well most things you say. You are a honey. And now you are the first to come out with this offer of friendship. I too am deeply touched. Thank you. :smile:

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You're welcome. It takes great courage to reveal painful situations and struggles in our personal lives and I try to honor such courage whenever or wherever I find it.

Gold Member

You're welcome. It takes great courage to reveal painful situations and struggles in our personal lives and I try to honor such courage whenever or wherever I find it.

Was your wife on Herceptin previously or is this her first time?

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Thanks mercuralbliss,
No. This is her first time on Herceptin. She had to have her heart checked before theyd give it to her as it is very hard on the heart muscles. Luckily we do a lot of walking so her heart is very good shape. Poor girl feels as though it's the only good body part she poseses at the moment.

And Thanks Lordpendragon.
Lynn was booked in for breast reconstruction this autumn with Elaine Sassoon at the Norfolk and Norwich University Hospital, but we've had to cancel. The oncologist won't talk about surgery yet so we don't know if she'll have to have the breast removed. Inflammatory breast cancer isn't a lump type tumor, it's a sheet or network of cancer cells within the lymph vessels. Her breast has become red and the skin thickened. If the treatment works the symptoms might just go away, but the oncologist obviously isn't confident about a positive outcome. This is breast cancer at it's nastiest. But, you know, it does help when people remind you how others have survived. My wife's main concern was that the hospital photographer should get some decent shots of it as we had to work hard to convince them that it was cancer. They hadn't seen such symptoms before (it is a rare cancer) and just thought it was mastitis. Even our family doctor knew it wasn't that because there was no pain in the breast. It just shows how people in specialisms are insulated from the real world. Never mind they haven't wasted much time, and the treatment has begun. We just have to hope it works

Gold Member

I am so sorry to hear about your wife. I guess that is what I get for not reading all of the threads. I am glad to hear that your family is really workng together to make is the best possible experience for all concerned. I know what it is like to have parents suffer with Cancer and other incurable disorders. I will pray for your wife and family. YEs, isnt Mercurial Bliss and LPSG treasure?

Gold Member

You are such nice people. I have been having such an emotional evening. Lynn, Tom and I had a great sunday dinner. Tom has gone to see his mate Connor and we stayed home and listened to Neil Young's Harvest which we arrived from Amazon yesterday. We haven't listened to that since the '70s. I cried my eyes out while L held me tight. She did some crying too. Dear Neil Young. Poor us. What wonderful, powerful, soulful songs....... I have had some really nice pm's from people on here tonight. Thank you people, I need this quite badly at the moment. (

Gold Member

Thank god that they found it early enough at stage 3, that you could at least attempt to correct it.

Have they stated that they could remove the breasts completely to save her?
It's going to be very difficult for your son at the tender age of 14. Hormones combined with deep sorrow isn't going to be pretty.
I would start ligning up a counselor for you and him.
I am sincerely hoping that your wife pulls through the Chemo treatments well, and that they dont affect her much.

But to be on the safe side, make sure you have all your paperwork in place in the event that she does pass, you know her wishes, will, estate, etc.

We didn't have that option with my dad. He was diagnosed in January, and was gone by April. (Mainly because of Hospitals constant Errors)

Gold Member

My thoughts and best wishes are with you and your family, for what it's worth.

My younger sister went through a single mastectomy, chemo and radiation for a very aggressive type of breast cancer beginning in 2003. She was told that her type of cancer is very likely for recurrence and we have to deal with the unwanted reality that her life is fragile. ( As is mine or anyone's, but statistically hers is in this "category" of risk.) We hope that luck is on her side. At age 45 she has three young kids ages 4, 6 and 8 and her husband left her a year ago, after sticking with her through the recovery. I believe his fear (cowardice) of the possiblity of recurrence has played no small part in his decision to bail.

Fortunately she has stamina, spirituality, and inner strength and very very close family support, and her ex is still there for the kids. She also seems to have recovered quite well, considering all the stress.

Your wife has YOU and as much as it pains you to feel helpless or at risk, your support and close presence must be invaluable to her and to your son. Stay strong. Be well.

Riven;
I am sorry to hear that. Cancer, by it's very nature cusses stress on everyone affected. Even though your son appears to be handling it well I would think that he is putting on a bit of a &#8220;front&#8221; to help him cope. Being the age he is he may not want it to be obvious how scared he really is.

Cancer runs on my mothers side of the family. It is mostly breast cancer and it did claim 5 of the 10 children of my grandmothers generation (including my grandmother who beat it twice- had both breasts removed and then succumbed to it on the third time around. ) It is fortunate that it was caught early enough to be treatable. I hope that both you and your wife have people in your life who you can lean on for support. While it is true that you need to depend on each other, it is also important to have friends to share with.

That is something else to keep in mind with your son. Many boys that age will not have close enough relationships with most of their friends to allow themselves to be vulnerable and talk about their &#8220;feelings&#8221; at the best of times; let alone when it involves the possibility of shedding tears.
I wish you all the best of luck.