Down the Rabbit Hole We go.

BED:S (19) – Rant

Maybe I am more irritable because I’m coming down with a cold or something, but I recently came across something that really upset me. I am not gonna get into detail because 1. this is a short rant, 2. I don’t want to spark any kind of discussion over the facts (but feel free to discuss my entry!) and 3. I simply don’t want to expose anyone at this time.

Just a quick overview: I’ve been following different moms and their pregnancies/life/lives with children on YouTube for years now. Mainly because I someday wanna be a mom, too, so I try to get as many aspects and opinions on things as possible. But there are, of course, a few mommies that I tend to watch more than others – mostly because I like to observe all kinds of mothers; I watch some teens moms, moms who have physical or psychological problems, single moms etc. But there’s this one mother (a teen mom, but I don’t really care, cause age doesn’t affect you being a good or a bad mom) that has really gotten to me. Do you know that feeling when someone is deeply influencing you? Not in a bad, but a good way? Yeah, that is the feeling I get when I watch her videos. And she makes all kinds of them – videos about pregnancy, about her life, about raising kids, health care etc. And I am okay with saying that she definitely made me a better woman and a more educated person.

BUT recently I came across a blog (and I’m not going to mention the link) because someone posted a comment on it on one of her videos. And that blog is full of ‘evidence’ that she tried to conceive (with both her pregnancies!) and what kind of mistakes she made throughout her teen years and about her boyfriends and her previous career choices and so on and on and on.

And it really, really upset me. Not because some of those facts are true (and the mom I’m talking about has already said they were and that she made some mistakes) and not because this ‘perfect picture’ is starting to crumble. No. Because 1. it was never a perfect picture. She always showed the bad things, too. She talked about uncomfortable moments and aspects of pregnancy and birth and life as a young mom and juggling college and kids etc. etc. Of course we only get to see a tiny amount of her real life, but I always felt like she tried to ‘keep it real’, as some people might say.

What really upsets me is the fact that people actually take precious time out of their day to do excessive amounts of research (and I mean ‘excessive’ because they ‘covered’ everything from old myspace accounts to old yahoo questions – it’s crazy). I mean…what kind of person does that? Sure, I do ‘background checks’ as well…if I find a new band and wanna know more about the members for example. But making up a question like ‘Mhm. I really wonder if she tried to get pregnant…’ and then digging in to google and actually doing real research…that seems so abstract to me. These people were obviously trying to make her and the people around her look bad….but why? What did she ever do to those people who are now, as they call it, trying to ‘spread the truth’?

And what is even creepier is the fact that people go onto the blog and just blindly believe the ‘facts’. As I said, the woman I’m talking about admitted to having done some of the things they ‘uncovered’ (which in my eyes makes her look grown-up and strong), but some ‘facts’ are just really, really vague and you could make it sound real for every single person in the world, if you know what I mean. Also: everyone could start any kind of account in anyone’s name.

I mean…come one? Why so much hate? It really bothers me how much hate is seeping into and growing in homes these days.

It doesn’t even matter where you look, whenever someone expresses their opinion hate is poured upon them. It’s not even criticism, which can be really good, if you’re trying to improve the things you’re doing like, writing, making music, that kind of stuff. It is straight up hate. For everything and everyone. And it really, really bothers me. I mean…I can be over-compassionate and over-emotional sometimes because of my condition, but seriously…what happened to compassion these days? Understanding? Or at least trying to understand?

It’s sad. It’s really, really sad.

Okay. So obviously this wasn’t a short rant, but I felt like I had to say something. Not to anyone in particular, but to clear my head.

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2 thoughts on “BED:S (19) – Rant”

i loved reading this as single dissabled mum i used to whatch u tube diaries to get insight on how others coped other mums like me and what is classed as normal mums just range to get insight and info. i do think its sad when some spoils something so nice and caring.