When you think of intensity, you probably think of someone who is always loud and overbearing. The truth is that intense people can have a quiet nature that isn’t dominating. Meet today’s guest!

Phyllis G. Williams is the co-host of Living The Principles podcast. She’s a US Marine veteran, educator, and entrepreneur who is passionate about community. Phyllis’ entrepreneurial endeavors revolve around writing and speaking, and she’s described by her friends as “quiet, yet strong and confident.” It was a pleasure to get to know Phyllis in this interview, and I hope you enjoy!

Show Highlights:

Why Phyllis is intensely passionate about community mainly because she has seen how her life has been affected by it

How her family was Phyllis’ first community, the Marines her second, and Toastmasters her third

In high school when we read the Scarlet Letter, we had an assignment to pick a letter to represent a fault or weakness of ours. I picked the letter P for Procrastination and Perfectionism. My teacher believed the procrastination part but not so much the perfectionism...

In this episode:

Why perfectionism and procrastination are intertwined.

3 lessons learned from blogging the last 5 years and podcasting the last 3.

How much emphasis do you put on play in your life? Somehow, as we enter adulthood, we lose our affinity for play. Today’s guest has made it his mission to bring play back into the lives of busy adults, and he’s here to tell us how his intensity has made it all possible.

Gary Ware is someone I first met at the World Domination Summit this past year. People are drawn to his playful energy, and he is twice-exceptional, with ADHD and dyslexia. Gary will share how he’s learned to channel his energy in positive ways to help himself and many other people as he teaches them how to bring more play into their lives. Gary is the founder of Breakthrough Play, and he’s a sought-after corporate facilitator and keynote speaker with nearly a decade of experience as a performer in improv theater. He assists teams with unlocking creativity, confidence, and sparking collaboration with experiential methods proven to drive peak performance. Gary spent over a decade in the corporate world and originally pursued improv to master public speaking. He discovered that combining improv and play could be a powerful solution to achieve various business challenges. Naturally, he created workshops for his team and other executives in his network to deepen relationships and improve creativity. Gary became obsessed with learning how to use play as a transformational tool, and, as a result, happily transitioned from marketing to pursue facilitation full-time. When Gary isn’t leading workshops and keynote speaking, you can find him learning magic or off on an adventure with his wife, Courtney, and son, Garrett.

Show Highlights:

Gary’s intense passion for helping people be more authentic

Why people feel uninspired and unengaged at work today

Why finding joy in what you do is a conscious choice

How Gary uses his personal brand of intensity to find different ways to solve complex problems, even using hypnosis and neuro-linguistic programming

As Gary grew up, he was a curious and playful ball of energy, and always the class clown

The cultural factors that affected his intensity because he attended a different school almost every year because of his father’s military career

Becoming a “social chameleon” to fit in wherever he was, but never really knowing who he was

Gary’s identity crisis as an African-American

How Gary had to learn what was necessary to survive and how to operate with a filter

The story of an out-of-control moment of a food fight in school

How Gary uses his superpower of making people feel comfortable

How Gary harnesses the power of his intensity in being his goofy self, but always in connection with others

Why Gary views his ADD as a superpower now

Why Gary calls play “a gift” and a “form of meditation”

The best advice Gary ever received: “You are perfect just the way you are.”

Books that have helped Gary: Play DHD, The Big Leap, and The Happiness Advantage (see resources below)

How Gary brings playful methods to interesting situations

Gary’s advice for listeners: “Think about how you played as a young child, and think about how you can bring that back into your life.”

"We suffer not from lack, but from paralyzing abundance." A few years ago I did a survey and someone used the term "paralyzing abundance" and it has stuck with me ever since. Today we will be talking about how to prioritize when you are suffering from paralyzing abundance.

Embracing intensity means figuring out who you are and who you want to be, whether other people like it or not. Part of the equation is figuring out why trying to fit a square peg into a round hole just isn’t going to work out well. Such is the story of my guest today who uses her personal experiences with giftedness to bring resources and counseling services to others.

Emily Kircher-Morris is a Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice near St. Louis, and her practice specializes in meeting the needs of gifted and twice-exceptional (2e) learners. Before working in private practice, Emily worked as a school counselor and teacher of gifted programming. She frequently speaks to groups of educators and counselors about meeting the needs of high ability learners, and she hosts The Mind Matters podcast, which explores issues related to the development of gifted and 2e individuals throughout the life span. I first encountered Emily through her podcast, as I was a recent guest there, so this is the perfect time to return the favor and have her on the show. Enjoy!

Show Highlights:

Why Emily is passionate about her career focused on gifted and 2e kids, as a mental health counselor, a podcaster, and someone who helps those who are unnoticed and unrecognized

The need for resources for gifted and 2e kids--and their parents

Emily’s personal brand of intensity and her fiercely independent “just let me do what I want to do” attitude

As an elementary student, Emily had an ADHD diagnosis and was impulsive, intense, and “too much and out of proportion”

How her mom was consistently in her corner through all her childhood years

How the stigma about behavioral expectations and gender roles affected Emily

How Emily has to tone down her intensity constantly but has gone through growing pains of being too intense

The life-changing experiences that have brought her reflection and greater awareness: motherhood and obtaining her master’s degree in counseling and therapy

How Emily feels her intensity is out of control when she feels “on the edge” and “about to tip over”

How intensity has affected Emily in many relationships

How Emily uses her experience every day with gifted and 2e clients, helping them understand and accept their intensity for themselves

Why Emily started a podcast and a non-profit to help with parent support for those with gifted and 2e kids

How Emily has to harness her power in personal and professional relationships with others

Why Emily had to find and use an organizational system

The best advice she’s ever received came from a counselor: “Don’t pretend that your needs don’t exist or try to extinguish them. Recognize and accept them.”

Why the book, A Wrinkle in Time, has meaning and long-term influence in Emily’s life

How Emily uses Carl Rogers’ “unconditional positive regard” to help her clients

Thanks to everyone who filled out my survey to help shape the future of the Embracing Intensity Community! This week, I share a brief overview of the results and you can find a full summary on the blog.

How can you use your sensitivity and intuition to program your life for success? Today’s show is about how we find more happiness, achievement, and transformation by focusing on the right things. We will also learn how each of us can make a positive impact on the world by committing to small, everyday actions.

Rachel O’Rourke is the owner of O’Rourke Media, a marketing agency for innovative, e-commerce-based startup companies. She’s also the founder and CEO of SPARK Global, an event company that facilitates self-development summits dedicated to supporting women who are ready to show up in the world. Rachel has done amazing things building community events such as SPARK Live, which I’ll be attending this fall. In her upcoming book, 27 Things, Rachel shares the 27 things that are holding women back from making their lives extraordinary and the action steps to take to spark a major shift in each area. Her podcast, Flawed Females, released in May of this year. You can hear Rachel and co-host Lizzie Keith as they captivate you with their conversations.

Show Highlights:

The whirlwind of events over the last two years--ever since Rachel left the corporate job she hated

Why she is passionate about what is possible for women that they don’t even realize

How women have been programmed in certain ways that can be changed to bring more happiness, achievement, and transformation

The difference in conscious vs. subconscious programming

Why Rachel believes focus goes hand-in-hand with success and that we need to be sensitive and intuitive to our bodies and to what the universe tells us

As Rachel grew up, she was unaware of what her mind and body were trying to say

The need to impress on kids the intensity of their focus

How Rachel as a younger person felt like she needed to tone down and not shine too brightly

What women tell themselves about going after jobs and accomplishments

How Rachel’s obsessive nature can get out of control and lead to her not taking care of herself and her family

How Rachel commits daily to making a positive impact in the world with small actions

How meditation helps Rachel harness the power of her intensity

How Rachel uses visualization to see what she wants to come to fruition

The best advice she received: “Protect your energy and set boundaries.”

Books that have helped Rachel: You Are a Badass and The Path Made Clear

How Rachel helps others realize it only takes one small thing to spark a fire

Why Rachel has consistent rituals each day to keep her fire and focus going: meditation, visualization, and consumption of high vibrational content in books and podcasts

Why you should protect your environment to keep vibrating at a high level

In my next interview episode with Rachel O'Rourke, she talked about the amazing things that can happen when we focus our full energy on something. With my work and summer schedule, my attention has been quite split but as I review the survey data from our audience on the direction to go next I am excited to focus my full attention on expanding the possibilities in our Embracing Intensity Community!

In this episode:

The challenges of having so many interests split our focus.

Details on the direction we're moving in the Embracing Intensity Community.

How you can share your input on where to focus my energy moving forward.

Being gifted or intense means different things to different people. Today’s show focuses on many things we can do to make the world a better place for everyone. We’re talking about living our best lives in authentic ways, the natural state of flexible emotions, recognizing the strengths in others, and appreciating the neurological diversity in people.

Christine Fonseca is a licensed educational psychologist, critically-acclaimed author, and nationally-recognized speaker on topics related to educational psychology, mental health, giftedness, and using storytelling to heal past wounds. Using her experience consulting and coaching educators and parents, Christine brings her expertise to Psychology Today, authoring the parenting blog, Parenting for a New Generation. She has written self-help articles for Parents.com, Johnson & Johnson, and Justine magazine. Her appearance on the popular gifted education podcast, Mind Matters, was one of the most downloaded episodes. Christine uses her fictional stories to explore the more complex aspects of humanity through sweeping romances, Gothic thrillers, and psychological horror stories. As a trauma-impacted survivor, Christine believes in the power of storytelling as a key to healing past wounds. She delivers soul-centered writing workshops to help writers get in touch with their authentic voice and bring that to both fiction and nonfiction writing. Christine’s critically-acclaimed titles include Emotional Intensity in Gifted Students, Raising the Shy Child, Letting Go, The Girls’ Guide to Breaking Free of Stress and Anxiety, and an action-packed young adult series, The Solomon Experiments. Christine lives in southern CA with her husband and children.

Show Highlights:

Why Christine calls herself a “super-intense human,” and how she displays her passion for helping people figure out who they are so they can live authentically and unapologetically

Why Christine loves to help gifted people because they are often misunderstood

How Christine feels things and thinks about things deeply, and why she analyzes everything

How she was misunderstood as she grew up, not socializing well with peers

How she reacted viscerally as a child to the sheer audacity of slavery and why she felt the need to apologize for the atrocities of the entire race of white people

How she had to tone herself down in high school, being intensely shy and “extra” at the same time

How she had to come clean with herself about her past trauma and who she really was

Why she chose to focus on and nurture her children’s EQ--not their IQ

Why her intensity gets out of control with weight and body image issues

Why she gives herself permission to be who she needs to be with her emotions in the moment, no matter what that looks like

How Christine is dedicated to intense people and helping them feel “normal”

How she learned her daily non-negotiables: contemplative practice, journaling, healthy food, movement, time with family, and creativity

Why we should appreciate how neurologically diverse all people are

Why Christine has started strengths-spotting

The best advice from Christine’s mother: “The only definition anything has is the definition you’ve given it.”

Books Christine loves: The Chronicles of Narnia, Watership Down, Shakespeare, and other nonfiction books on religion

How Christine differs from a lot of researchers on the topic of giftedness

The difference in experiencing anxious feelings and “having an anxiety attack”

The natural state of being flexible in and out of the range of human emotions

Why we need to change our tolerance levels

The danger of “toxic positivity”

How Christine helps others through her coaching, online courses, live events, speaking engagements, and books

“A gifted or intense person paints the world in bold colors while everyone else paints in pastels.”

Christine’s new book, why she wrote it, and how she researched the content

As my summer really gets going, I am looking forward to gaining some momentum on expanding our community offerings. I'd love to hear from you where you'd like the podcast and community to go in the future to best support your needs!

In this episode:

Reflections on the World Domination Summit 2019 and community.

My thoughts on the direction I'd like to go in increasing engagement and facilitation in live groups online and off.

If you’re the parent of a gifted or twice-exceptional child, then you know the struggles that come with the territory. Parents need a voice and an advocate, and today’s guest promises to be that voice--the one screaming out for the needs of these amazing kids.

Jen Torbeck Merrill is an Illinois-based writer and gifted family advocate who is the mom of two teen sons. She homeschools one, but happily sends the other off to public school every morning. Her book, If This Is A Gift, Can I Send it Back: Surviving in the Land of the Gifted and Twice-Exceptional, struck a nerve with families who suspected Jen was living in their closet. Her second book, on the needs of gifted parents and self-care, is in progress. Jen is a Gifted Homeschoolers Forum Ambassador and is slated to be one of the SENG (Supporting the Emotional Needs of the Gifted) Conference keynote speakers at their annual convention in Houston this July. She intends to support the parents of gifted and twice-exceptional kids because they are the ones doing the heavy lifting and are too often ignored, patronized, and discredited. She hopes that her sons never have to deal with these issues when they raise their own likely gifted children. I first encountered Jen when we contributed to the Hoagies’ Gifted Blog Hops together, and I was always delighted with the humor and relatability in her writing. I’m excited to see her next book come out! Jen is also teaming up with past EI guests Kate Arms and Chris Wells to put on a series of webinars for parents of gifted and twice-exceptional children.

Show Highlights:

Jen’s life as a musician, reluctant homeschooling mom, teacher, writer, and parents’ advocate

How Jen is intensely passionate about life, screaming for the needs of these amazing gifted and twice-exceptional kids for the past 14 years

Last year at a regional SENG (Supporting the Emotional Needs of the Gifted) conference, I had lunch with someone who followed my podcast and online community. She asked me, "what exactly do you do?" Today I'm sharing more clarity what I do with educational assessment and consultation, and my shift towards doing more group facilitation.

In this episode:

What psycho-educational assessment is all about.

How educational consultation can help understand existing testing.

Moving towards more interactive facilitation in group calls and courses.

Every so often, you meet someone who has had to fight for where they are in life. It’s usually the people who have faced the greatest difficulty who learn to be the most resilient and truly have a heart of gratitude for what they have in life. Such is the story of today’s guest. Join me to learn more.

Zaakirah Muhammad Demba is someone I met through a podcasting group on Facebook called She Podcasts. Once I got to know her, I realized she would be a great guest on the show--and here she is! Zaakirah is a brand-cultivating strategist, professional photographer, and digital marketer. She helps small businesses make their social media pages look good, and she advises the best social media tactics for growing and being consistent with their brand. At 6 months of age, a camera saved her life, and at 9 months old, she was taken into surgery to have her right eye removed due to a rare cancerous tumor that was detected by a camera in a photo taken by her mom. Her hearing slowly began to decline as she grew older, but her other 3 senses kicked in and are doing well. At age 5, her mom gifted her with her first camera, and she received her first digital camera in middle school. She attended technical high school and went on to study commercial photography and never strayed far from her purpose in life. She moved to Washington, DC, to expand her education and work in professional photography and videography. She currently resides in Nashville but has traveled to 10 countries with her camera, most recently to South Africa. As a people-person and an empath, Zaakirah wants her legacy to be the fact that she was able to see the good in people, help them live their best life, and step outside their comfort zone.

Show Highlights:

Zaakirah’s intense passion for photography as a way to share her mind and her voice

Today you’ll meet someone who manifests his intensity through music and dance. In sharing his passion, he also stays connected to his Indian culture and brings it to people across the US as he celebrates all things FUN.

I first met Prashant Kakad in his role as a Bollywood DJ. I’ve loved attending his dance events because of the diverse variety of people and the open and free spirit of celebration. He is one of the best examples I know of psychomotor or physical excitability. As I’ve gotten to know Prashant better, I realized that he is gifted and intense in many different ways. From Orcas Island to the Florida Keys, this multifaceted Bollywood entertainer has spent the last 10 years traveling across the US sharing his passion for Indian music and culture. An Indian-born, first-generation immigrant, Prashant’s unique perspective as an Ivy League graduate and ex-Intel engineer-turned DJ transforming American nightlife has inspired many South Asians who seek to pursue a life beyond their tech job.

Show Highlights:

How Prashant has always been intensely passionate about dancing, music, and creative expressions---not being an Intel engineer

How he travels the US with dance parties in various cities, along with dance classes and workshops

Prashant’s natural inclination toward intensity in his dancing and in his meditation practice

How he has had to “find the middle” of both extremes of his intensity

How he grew up with a very intense life in the city of Mumbai, which has over 19 million people

How Prashant stays connected to his Indian culture and loves giving others a window into that world

How he had to downplay his passion for music and dancing as he grew up, mainly because of his family’s disapproval

How his intensity sometimes gets out of control

How Prashant finds opportunities to self-reflect and course-correct

How he helps by holding opportunities sacred in bringing his culture to people and helping them connect to it

Harnessing the power of his intensity by being around people who resonate with him

Prashant’s personal habits of jumping headfirst, thinking later, going with his instinct, and embracing the unknown

The best advice Prashant has ever received: “Live and go, based on your personal experience, not on what someone else does or says.”

Prashant’s favorite books to recommend: The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho and Yoga Anatomy by Leslie Kaminoff and Amy Matthews

How Prashant loves to help others in teaching dance because it’s both external AND internal

In May we are focusing on shifting perspective, and part of that is in shifting our perspective of intensity. For our Embracing Intensity group call, Kate Arms will be talking about Thriving with Intensity. This is the talk she did at the SENG 2018 conference.

Thriving with Intensity:

Dabrowski believed overexcitabilities enhance our capacity for self-actualization. How can we take advantage of this extra capacity? This presentation will focus on how adults can grow beyond coping with the challenges of being super sensitive and move toward greater fulfillment.

Once a few tools are identified for getting the most out of extraordinary sensitivity, the potential for self-awareness and life-changing transformations are profound. Using a coaching and leadership skills framework, Kate Arms will explore how to discover the gifts in individual overexcitabilities and how to use those gifts to create a greater sense of fulfillment in any moment.

Kate Arms is a personal and business coach at Signal Fire Coaching. She loves helping smart, sensitive, and creative people harness their many passions, skills, and sensitivities and use that energy to thrive. She is at her best with complex people facing complex problems. Particular passions are teaching emotional self-management to intense people, supporting parents of twice-exceptional kids, and teaching leadership, collaboration, and relationship skills to software developers. She is the parent of four gifted kids, three of whom are twice-exceptional and a different three of whom are triplets. Her current writing projects are focused on healthy interpersonal relationships at home and work and how to have effective high-stakes conversations.

I met today’s guest when she became an avid fan of the show, and we finally got to meet in person at the SENG conference in May. She’s a connector at heart, always being sensitive to notice who needs to know who and how to bring people together. I’m thrilled that she’s here to share her wonderful and inspiring story.

Tiffany Chhuom is the owner of EthTech, a healthcare consulting and training firm for the digital era. She also owns Lucy in the Sky Therapy, an online private practice for neurodiverse adults. With 18 years’ experience in healthcare, she holds four degrees in four disciplines from the University of Washington and has produced notable achievements in practice, policy, research, and administration across public health, social work, psychology, criminal justice, and child welfare sectors. Tiffany has led large projects across the country in behavioral and medical research, while also fine-tuning her craft as a trauma and addiction therapist. Special populations near and dear to her heart include veterans, injection drug users, people living with HIV, survivors of sexual violence, and gifted adults with co-occurring ADHD. Tiffany is a longtime mentor and applauded speaker, creating new opportunities to enhance course offerings and continuing education on telemental health ethics and digital marketing for providers and healthcare partners.

Show Highlights:

Tiffany’s speaking topics from the SENG Conference

Why she is passionate about dogs, trauma survivors, and “the odd intersection of things”

How Tiffany cut ties with her parents to help form her own identity

Why her personal brand of intensity includes “unapologetically being myself”/

Different forms, aspects, and expressions of intensity

How Tiffany’s intensity affected her as she grew up, including being accelerated in school when she wasn’t emotionally ready, doing cocaine with her mom at age 15, living a life with drugs and poverty, dropping out of high school, and achieving four college degrees

Why Tiffany was addicted to achievement because she thought it measured her self-worth

The intersection of the immune system, giftedness, and trauma

Why Tiffany started a meditation practice to break her addiction

How she became more comfortable with “not fitting in”

How Tiffany has to tone herself down and tune herself out----every day

Personal habits that have helped Tiffany the most: getting sufficient sleep, having time with her animals, and spending time outside

How intensity factors into her marriage relationship

How Tiffany uses her intensity to help others, especially in her work with all genders and her therapy with women

How Tiffany helps people use anger as a healthy emotion

Why Tiffany is not sure about what the future holds but knows it will be amazing!

Do you have a hard time explaining what goes on in your brain? After reading a post from Intergifted on High, Exceptional & Profound Giftedness, the concept of "Matrix Thinking" really resonated with me! I wrote a blog post about it last week, and decided to share my thoughts on the podcast as well! I have already found it a handy tool to help outside-the-box thinkers to articulate how they visualize their own brains.

April's theme is Time & Energy Balance. As a tool for finding balance, Rukshana Triem joins us to talk about connecting with nature.

Connecting with Nature is an amazing session to help everyone understand the importance of our health when we expose our mind and body to the outdoors. The simple things that we can practice and implement into our daily lives so we have more inner peace, love and energy. The audience will have clear understanding that nature is not intimidating but taking one step at a time that builds confidence to taking bigger steps towards other things in life. In this workshop Rukshana will share the five key values that she Teaches in her various coaching programs.

Rukshana has a huge Hunger to serve, to bring deep connection to transformation women all around the world. Rukshana Hafez Triem is an Author, inspirational Speaker, and CEO of a Womens Lifestyle Coaching LLC. Her journey started in Zambia living in a Refugee camp. Due to Trauma and overcoming her sexual abuse past, she was able to create a comfortable lifestyle that supports her family. She shares her story with others as she travels around the world, doing public speaking, workshops and Retreat and her New Mission Building schools in Africa, in Mozambique, Malawi and Zambia. For upcoming events in your area, sign up for the news letter here.

Call recordings for this and all past calls can be found in the Embracing Intensity Community.

In this episode, Rukshana shares:

A brief guided meditation on nature.

Her 5 steps to connecting with nature.

How nature helped her get through leaving a war torn country as a young refugee.