Movie review: Seth MacFarlane's Western A Million Ways to Die in the West' as funny, dumb, charming, unfocused as you'd expect

Charlize Theron and Seth MacFarlane star in "A Million Ways to Die in the West."

Oh, what to make of you, Seth MacFarlane?

You are at times borderline-brilliant and at others as dumb as the dumbest of rocks. Well, not you exactly, but the material you produce.

MacFarlane is the creator of the hugely popular, at times very crass and usually unsatisfying animated series “Family Guy,” as well as the director and co-writer of the largely enjoyable (if often crass) 2012 comedy “Ted.” He’s also a voice artist, bringing to life Peter Griffin and other “Family Guy” characters, as well as the potty-mouthed, digitally created teddy bear at the center of “Ted.”

He’s back in another live-action feature, “A Million Ways to Die in the West,” this time starring as an actual human character along with directing, co-writing and co-producing. The movie is everything good and bad about MacFarlane rolled into one package; it’s crass, sweet, clever, stupid, not all that cohesive and, ultimately, more enjoyable than not.

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MacFarlane portrays Albert Stark, a sheep farmer in 1882 Arizona who, when the story begins, is about to die in a pistol duel with a man he has wronged. A poor shot and generally a coward, Albert talks his way out of the confrontation by promising to pay his foe money. This does not please his girlfriend, Louise, who dumps him. She doesn’t have to settle, she believes, as “people are living to 35 these days.”

Louise (Amanda Seyfried) immediately takes up with Foy (Neil Patrick Harris), the cocky and exquisitely mustached proprietor of the town mustachery (the luxuriousness of a mustache is a running joke). Albert is very distraught, unable to be comforted by friends Edward (Giovanni Ribisi) and Ruth (Sarah Silverman), an engaged couple waiting for marriage to have sex despite the fact Ruth is a prostitute who sees myriad men daily.

But then she walks into Albert’s life, she being the beautiful and mysterious Anna (Charlize Theron). Albert helps Anna escape a bar fight, and the two become fast friends. He tells her about his broken heart, and she insists on going to the county fair with him and posing as his girlfriend to make Louise jealous. Instead of making her jealous, though, Albert becomes even more envious of Foy, challenging him to an ill-conceived pistol duel.

Anna, an even better shot than Foy based on their contest at the fair’s shooting gallery, promises Albert she can teach him to shoot before the duel in a week. And why is she such a good shot? Unbeknownst to Albert, Anna is the wife of notorious and deadly outlaw Clinch Leatherwood (Liam Neeson). Their marriage is an unhappy one -- “Oh my god, I love you. I’m, like, the luckiest girl in the history of girls,” she sarcastically placates him early on -- but that doesn’t mean Clinch won’t be enraged when he learns another man has been spending time with his lady.

Soon enough, Albert will have bigger problems than the arrogant owner of the moustachery.

The good, the bad and, yes, the ugly is peppered throughout “A Million Ways to Die in the West.”

Co-written by frequent MacFarlane cohorts Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild, the movie has a fun premise: that its hero hates all aspects of life on the frontier and believes “everything that isn’t you is trying to kill you,” from criminals to disease to the town’s doctor and pastor. One man, right on cue, dies from the toxicity of his own gas.

And there are several undeniably funny lines, among them Edward telling an inebriated Albert that he “shouldn’t drink and horse” when he’s about to ride off after a night at a saloon.

But, just as they have with “Family Guy,” the trio struggles when it comes to focused storytelling, never passing on the opportunity to show a man getting hit in the face, or slammed in the crotch or uncontrollably relieving himself at a very unfortunate time.

MacFarlane could also stand to tighten up his direction. Some of the good ideas he and the other writers had fall flat due to poor scene construction.

On the other hand, again, “A Million Ways to Die in the West” has just the right amount of cameos -- we won’t spoil them even if the previews do -- and inside jokes relating to, for instance, Harris’ character on “How I Met Your Mother” or the size of Seyfried’s eyes.

So what about MacFarlane as an actor? Not surprisingly, he’s a mixed bag. Having hosted the Academy Awards in 2013, he’s not completely unfamiliar with being in front of the camera, and he has a certain charm, to be sure, but he seems a little awkward and unsure of himself at times here. However, just as her character teaches his how to be a better version of himself, Theron seems to prop up MacFarlane in every scene they share. It’s as if merely sharing the frame with the talented actress (“Monster,” “Young Adult”) infuses him with more talent. Maybe it’s that they simply share an easy chemistry, and that’s enough.

The other performers do about what you would expect, Harris, Silverman and, of course, Neeson hamming it up in their own ways. The latter plays off his surly big-screen persona, but it would have been nice if MacFarlane and company could have found something a little more clever to do with Clinch than simply being mean and intimidating.

If you’ve seen the very funny red band trailer for “A Million Ways to Die in the West,” you’ve seen the best parts. Nevertheless, there are more laughs to be had, and let’s face it: No matter how many times you see the giant block of ice crushing a man -- and Albert yelling, “That went south so fast!” -- you’re going to laugh.

Similarly, you may want more from MacFarlane in general, but you’re going to laugh.

“A Million Ways to Die in the West” -- rated R for strong crude and sexual content, language throughout and some violence and drug material -- is in theaters. Running time: 1 hour, 56 minutes. Two and a half stars out of four.

About the Author

Mark is a lifelong Northeast Ohioan and an Ohio University grad. Along with loving music, movies and television, he is crazy about sports and tech. Reach the author at mmeszoros@news-herald.com
or follow Mark on Twitter: @MarkMeszoros.