Is Gene Simmons’ tongue studded or are those…forget it. I don’t need that today.

When Backdoor Farrah bragged to TMZ that she became a millionaire from her porno pretending to be a “leaked sex tape,” every unemployed college graduate with $100,000 in students loans screamed at her parents for not telling her to get knocked up at 16 so she could get on Teen Mom, which would lead to a lucrative career as a professional fame whore. If Backdoor Farrah taught us anything, she taught us that the easiest way to get famous is to push something out of your twat and the easiest way to get money is by pushing something into your twat. But Fox411 shattered everyone’s doody bubble dreams of becoming a teen mom turned millionaire porn star, because they say Backdoor Farrah didn’t make $1 million for butt swallowing James Deen’s peen. The money that Farrah made upfront isn’t even enough to pay the rent on a 100-square-foot studio apartment in Harlem for a year.

Some source tells Fox411 that Farrah was paid only $10,000 after she signed the contract and she was promised 30 percent of sales. Pippi Dongstocking also got $10k for her sex tape. The source also said that back in the olden days, hos like Parasite Hilton and Kim Kardashian made millions for their sex tapes, but it’s not like that anymore since everybody can watch sex tapes for free on the tube sites.

“In reality she (Abraham) got $10,000 upfront and 30 percent of sales, minus the cost of production. The entire celebrity sex video genre is a lot of unsubstantiated marketing with very little truth behind it…. It’s all publicity. It’s all hype.”

Jasmine Waltz, who got famous for humping David Arquette and bearding for Ryan Seacrest, said that she thought her sex tape would make money fall from the sky, but she was lied to.

“Vivid told me they would give $125,000 and 25 percent of the back end, all the sales that are made. Basically, you’ll never see the back end after advertisement. You won’t get the money. It’s a very untrustworthy business. Lawrence Fishburne’s daughter got burned really, really bad. She got $60,000 dollars and never saw another penny.”

Well, in Backdoor Farrah’s case, James Deen got at least 100 percent of the back end (120 percent when he was fully hard) and his fingers got around 65 percent of the front end.

Okay, $10,000 to do anal is $10,000 more than I’ve been paid to do anal (that’s not true, I think somebody bought me a slice once, cheese ONLY), but it’s hilarious that ho was going around saying that she squirted out a million dollars from her b-hole when she really only made enough money to put a down payment on a basic model Kia Forte. But whatever, Farrah is the Mother Theresa of backdoor porn because she practically gave away up-close shots of her freshly fucked b-hole for free and besides, her porn has lead to bigger and better things like posing on the cover of a magazine that legendary beauty Courtney Stodden once posed for.

No, I don’t think that’s Photoshopped. Ole dude impaled himself on the pitchfork when he found out he had to pose next to Farrah Abraham.

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