SUNSHINE65's Blogs

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over. -Jon Stewart (classic quote)
If we are now holding late-night talk-show hosts to the same moral accountability a... Read more

I was at home the other night in the middle of my dinner when the phone rang.
ME: Hello.
AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T.
ME: Is this AT&T?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T …
ME: This is AT&T?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T …
ME: Is th... Read more

Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman, that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren’t good for the environment. The woman apologized and explained,
“We didn’t have this green thi... Read more

So former President George W. Bush had to go into the hospital, had a little heart surgery and he’s OK, but he blames it all on the fatty foods served by White House butler Forest Whitaker. -David Letterman
Doctors told him to avoid any hea... Read more

OK, here's my situation. My Mummy has had me for almost 7 months. The first few months were great. I cried, she picked me up and fed me, anytime, day or night. Then something happened.
Over the last few weeks, she has been trying to STTN (... Read more

A married couple rushed to the hospital because the woman was in labor. The doctor asked the couple, "I have invented a new machine that you might want to try, it takes some of the labor pains away from the mother and gives it to the father." S... Read more

A study has found that some people can suffer symptoms of withdrawal when they are forced to stay away from social media sites. This is why I'm not even on Facebook. I update my high school yearbook manually with a pen. -Jimmy Kimmel
Today ... Read more

As the high school teacher was correcting essays written by her students she read, "Pedro jumped on his burrow and rode off into the sunset."
She wrote at the bottom of the page, "You obviously have problems with homonyms. A burrow is a ho... Read more

Dear Diary: The authorities have removed the black pants from the couch, there is no longer any place for me to sleep. I have vomited three times in protest but there is no sign that anything will change. My only other hope for rest is on the co... Read more

Dear Diary – It has occurred to me today that my dearest human has never sniffed my backside. I must bond with him in different ways. Like my father always used to say, if you want someone to look you in the eye make sure that your mouth smells ... Read more

The new iPhone is coming soon. The new iPhone is going to have a new feature that actually keeps track of your every movement. Then President Obama was like, ‘Right. NEW feature’. -Jimmy Fallon
Yesterday, President Obama met with the Greek ... Read more

A man in Colorado wants marijuana to be classified as a vegetable. I just have to say that that’s an ingenious way to get Americans to stop smoking pot. -Conan O'Brien
Before they went on vacation, Congress voted to exempt themselves from O... Read more

A bar owner locked up his place at 2 AM and went home to sleep. He had been in bed only a few minutes when the phone rang. “What time do you open up in the morning?” he heard an obviously inebriated man inquire.
The owner was so furious, he... Read more