New Smartphone App Predicts Penis Size

This recently developed app claims it can predict the size of a man’s erection with nearly the same accuracy as a crooked bookie in a horserace. Dr. Chris Culligan says his Predicktor app is a fun and interactive way to help all of those guys walking around with “little pecker syndrome” to see that they really aren’t packing that much less than the common man.

Essentially, Predicktor is able to produce an estimation of the size of a man’s junk using a formula that implements certain criteria including a man’s height, shoe size, finger length and sexual orientation – estimates are said to be accurate to within a tenth of an inch.

While Dr. Culligan is aware that his app is destined to be become a novelty at parties and perhaps even revered as a cheap parlor trick, he insists that the purpose of the Predicktor is to assist “patients of all ages who express penis-related insecurity, anxiety or dissatisfaction,” as well as a way to “relieve anxiety and stop the myths through education.”

Dr. Culligan says that it is very common for men to suffer from a disorder called Small Penis Syndrome, which is an unrealistic fear that their penis size is less-than-average, or even smaller that. The truth is that men who believe that their wieners are much smaller than other men are under the illusion that every other man alive is walking around with a John Holmes size schlong, said Culligan.

“Porn stars are outliers,” according to the apps website – these monster dong anomalies cannot be compared to the average man. The truth is a man’s penis size is believed to be determined by a chromosomal cluster known as the Hox genes: whereby an equation using other measurements of the body can be used to determine the approximate size of the penis in question. We don't worry too much about this stuff, if you know what we mean.