To Sleep, Perchance To Dream

“I sleep in a racing car, do you??”

Let me go ahead and preface this whole thing by saying up front that I don’t have any kids, which maybe makes me unable to relate to the childlike wonder that possesses otherwise clear-thinking adults to cook up ideas such as the ShredBed, pictured above. It also precludes me from rationalizing Mike V’s latest physical altercation in any meaningful way but that’s probably beside the point.

That point being, Chad Knight, alum of Maple, Osiris and American Gladiators, teammate to Marc Johnson, T-Bone and Wolf, loves skateboarding. If you need gory evidence look no further than the gruesome knee injury that more or less took him out of the game around the time George Bush Jr. took the controls.

And if you need further gory evidence, I’d just point out that Chad Knight skates for NSS shoes, and you know it’s not for the massive check. Put it like this. I was downtown last weekend and saw a hobo lying in repose on a bench, wearing a bedraggled pair of Adios. And I thought to myself, well, Adio’s still in the game to some extent, as their footwear continues to trickle down to society’s lowest common denominator. I have yet to see a hobo sporting NSS, which says something. I think.

Anyway, ShredBed is Chad Knight’s new venture, which I recently learned about whilst simultaneously trying to avoid the TSM Corey Duffel interview and kill time on the toilet. He describes it therein as “a furniture company targeted mainly at kids that incorporates skateboard decks and components into the design.” Which isn’t a bad idea when you think about it. Lord knows a bottle of bearing lube would’ve helped pass some of those long junior high nights.

But before I clown on Chad Knight too hard we ought to note that he did study physical therapy at Mira Costa Community College, which probably makes him more qualified to design sleeping apparatuses than, say, you or me. And shit, how many energy drinks and Myspace knockoffs has Salman Agah shit out, and he’s still considered a legend, right?

Point being, if (when) my old lady ever kicks me out, sets my shirts aflame and I wind up at the singles complex behind Arby’s, you can maybe catch me sleeping off last night’s Alabama Slammers in a ShredBed. I also plan to have the JR Blastoff album ready to rock in the clock radio each morning. Fulfill the dream, people.

4 Responses to “To Sleep, Perchance To Dream”

…and then he introduces his kids. They’re bouncing around in their room or whatever, and one of them has a halfpipe bed. “Halfpipebed.” I still say it like he did, however many years later (along with a bunch of other stupid quotes that were firmly entrenched in my brain by repeated watchings of skate vids). I have forgotten which video it was.