Archive for December, 2009

Girl #1: Ohmigod! I just saw a cockroach. Girl #2: Ew! Goddammit, I don't want to have to leave, this pizza is really good!Girl #1: The roach had wings, so that means it came in from outside and this place isn't necessarily roach-infested. Girl #2: But it could be. Girl #1: For the purposes of us enjoying this awesome pizza, it isn't. Girl #2, as girl #1 continues eating her pizza: And that is what psychologists call “rationalization”.

Animated blonde salesgirl: If you get the apple pomegranate body butter…Weary brunette: I only see the display.Animated blonde salesgirl: We have more in the back. Okay, well, if you get two or more products from the bath line, like this and our shower gel, you get a free bathtub!Weary brunette: Huh? (animated blonde salesgirl points to a little plastic bathtub)Weary brunette: That's… tiny. Like, I love the scent but I'm afraid I don't have any kittens or fetuses to bathe in that tiny tiny tub.

Ghetto-fabulous girl #1: Oh my god! I love this floor. It is so nice. And the people. They are so beautiful, every one of them!Ghetto-fabulous girl #2: Mmm-hmm! And they dress so good–all professional.Ghetto-fabulous girl #1: Damn! I bet they've got health insurance and shit!