Which of Montenegro’s semi-finalists was most cruelly robbed of a space in the grand final?

☐ The satirical spoken-word poet who put forward the progressive case for Montenegro’s accession to the European Union (2012)
☐ The astronaut dubstep rap duo who had a sing-off with a screaming cyborg alien (2013)
☐ The topless dancer with a three-foot ponytail who sang about the necessity of contraception in casual sexual encounters (2017)

By clicking SUBSCRIBE, I consent to you using my details to send me Five Dials newsletters and confirm that I have read and understood Penguin Random House's Privacy Policy.

Chris Lochery is a writer, musician and professional gossip. For the last ten years he has been writing the weekly scandal sheet Popbitch, running London’s premier romantic disaster storytelling show and teaching children about musical theatre. He is Five Dials’ resident pianist.