External links.

Visual Review

Karaoke.

Opening. While I do love credit matching, when you have three lines that match the credits, it’s kind of overkill. Especially when the credits start running close to the karaoke.

Rating: Okay.

Ending. This isn’t as cool as the groups that had multiple colors flowing through their lines, but it suits what Oni was going for. The sub placement was quite well done, which helped the kara out a lot by differentiating it from the credits.

Rating: Good.

Typesetting.

Good call on using those spaces reserved for text.

Not gonna lie, that’s a pretty sweet way to throw your logo in.

I do like “LIES” better than rori/Mezashite’s “SAMEFAG”.

Though I don’t have issue with the signs themselves, the timing for these is way off — the lines should come in right when the typesets do, but they don’t. It’s jarring. Plus, the typesets don’t match the script.

Seriously, you guys don’t have a QC checking this? Step it up.

And because I don’t wanna copy this all down to the script section, I’m also gonna say I think their quotation method is stupid (quotation marks on the left until the quote ends and then there is a quotation mark placed on the right to end it). We’ve gone over this before, and I believe that technically this style is valid, but holy shit does it look bad.

“love-kissy”? The fuck is that? It’s like some bastardized combination of lovey-dovey and kissy-kissy. No, that doesn’t work. Stop it.

Oni pretty much went after everything here. Nice. And their signs are definitely better than Commie’s. Too bad they had a number of issues on the English side of things.

Script Review

Main Script.

Slight difference there, Oni.

Since we’re coming off “Where is Natsukawa”, the following are essentially what she says:

“Is Natsukawa dead?” {works}

“Is Natsukawa vanished?” {does not}

You can argue secondary meanings of “vanished” if you want, but the primary one that would come to people’s minds here doesn’t work. Try “Absent?” instead.

Beautiful.

I thought they handled this better than the other groups. Guess you’ll just have to take my word for the “better” part since I’m not gonna fucking copy and paste all of that from three other releases, but I think you can see the flow is pretty good here.

Not to say this is an example of perfect writing (the “stealing” in the fourth scene appears a bit off under close inspection), but the best on offer? I’d say so.

This was pretty clever. It ties back to the previous section (screen 3), has great line-to-line flow (screen 1 to screen 2), and has some good, natural-sounding dialogue (screen 4).

(To be fair, every group had their own little clever bits that the others couldn’t match for whatever episode of theirs I checked. But in the case of Mezashite and Commie, I wasn’t gonna throw praise into a C-tier or D-tier review.)

Like I said in Commie’s review, I take issue with the way this is phrased. Currently what I get out of it is “There’s no meaning behind two sets of lips touching.” but what I should be getting is “Just because our lips are touching, that doesn’t mean we’re kissing. This is CPR.”

“I know what it looks like,”

“but this is only CPR — we’re not kissing.”

Dumb. Anyone can drown, period. Why the hell are you only emphasizing high school and middle school?

Commie had it right with “It can happen to anyone, regardless of age.”

Yes they are. Gonna copy/paste my Commie recommendation again.

“A-Anyway, it’s not like CPR counts as a kiss.”

Ah yes, The Sound of Theft. It’s the little-known Hitchcock sequel to The Sound of Music.

Fansubber Comments

Just as future reference, Oni, I don’t like feeling like I’m being cornered into reviewing one specific episode. I have the policies that I do as a form of “good faith” and expect groups to act with similar intent.

That is to say, a “‘no, that release isn’t representative’, ‘no, that release isn’t representative’, ‘no, that release isn’t representative’, ‘that release is representative, but you don’t have to review it if you don’t want'” kinda strategy won’t always work. Not an issue now, but something to keep in mind for future seasons.