We have a joint account. That's it. All our money goes into it. I earn more than MrFC but that's not an issue. We have 2 kids together, a house together, etc.
Don't get all this personal spending money thing. If I want something I get it(like my new bike). If MrFC wants something he gets it(like his new bike). We talk about what we spend.
Our lives are complicated enough without a few different bank accounts to be sorting out.

I used to use a joint account to pay all the bills from – but she would just see money going spare and use it for something, so I had to constatntly check the balance to make sure there was enough there to cover the bills

much easier to keep a single account for important bills, and have another account each for more "fun" stuff

Don't get all this personal spending money thing. If I want something I get it(like my new bike). If MrFC wants something he gets it(like his new bike). We talk about what we spend.

We like to know that any money we spend on fun stuff for ourselves was earned by ourselves and we're not borrowing off each other or going to miss a payment on a DD because we both bought something. For example, if we had a joint account and I wanted to buy a bike I'd have to organise buying it with her so that if she wanted to buy something else she'd have to wait or we'd have to organise cash to cover it. Instead we set up a joint account, pay a fixed sum and any savings per month into that and the rest of the time we just spend whatever free cash is left in our pay accounts on what ever we like. If we need to wait a while to save for something larger we do, but it's independant of each other meaning one doesnt interfere with the other.

Im with coffeeking on this. My dude spends 4 times as much a week than I do. If I was to live with him I wouldn't want that to change for him but I also wouldn't expect him basically to give me the extra so that we are the same. I would expect us both to pay the same when it comes to the bills no matter how much we each earn. When it comes to going for dinner or going on holiday if I couldn't afford to pay half I would say and then it's up to him to pay if he wanted to or we would come to an arrangement.
I guess everyone has their own ways of dealing with money and the OP was just looking for options in how to play things.

b) look at balance of joint account. Add up and subtract all outstanding bills, direct debits and standing orders that have still to come off this month. Don't forget that this month there is no council tax to pay, but the TV licence is due. Then consult with partner to make sure they don't have any big spends this month.

Question: what is our total monthly outgoing on bills?

a) compare joint account balance to same time last month.

b) trawl through the statements for the combined account trying to pick out the regular bills from the other stuff. Have fun trying to figure out if "Marks&Spenc-WD £39" was for the house insurance or for that new bra.

I'm not hung up about it either, its just easier to look at my own account and say "I've enough to buy that for myself, I'll buy it" than say "we have enough in to buy that now, but when the gas comes out later we might not, and if she wants to do this later in the month will we still have sufficient cash to cover the council tax? I'll have to call her and ask her first to check…"

On a day to day basis it's just easier to budget and have independent spending.

mema…I think we are in entirely different situations. I don't have dude…I have a husband of 14 yrs.

Now now, stop with the petty terminology pedantry. mema makes perfect sense and your picking holes in her chosen phrase suggests you think your relationship is better or more trusting than hers because she chose to use the word dude instead of the word "husband" or "long term partner" 🙄 .

Incidentally I'm not married but I've been with my other half for the same length of time as you've been married.

I wonder if those who have joint accounts have fairly predictable outgoings month on month, that's the only way I see it being simpler, and even then I'm not convinced.

Having not read much beyond the initial few posts here's my experience.

Partner and I no dependents. Both on good wages, her a lot more than mine she has more assets. I pay half for the yearly running costs of a car owned 100% by her. She will be putting in vastly more when we buy a house. It's very one sided but as neither of us our on the poverty line it doesn't really matter.

We pay the same into a joint bank account to cover joint expenses. This includes boring stuff like food and bills but also holidays that we both go on.

The rest we look after ourselves so we can spend it as we like. Anything big that we couldn't take out of the joint account we talk about and work out.

I couldn't share one account it wouldn't work. Between us we have nearly 10 anyway with various ISAs. We find it easier to manage our finances i fit's done separately. Means I can spend what I like on bikes as I know how much money I've got and she can spend what she wants. Neither of us has to worry about spending the others money.

If I were you I would sit down and have an open conversation about finances and decide how much you want to each pay into a joint account each month to cover joint expenses. Then leave the rest in individual accounts. Having separate accounts isn't not trusting your partner it's just a way of managing your money effectively.

No idea which edit you're talking about, I did about 6 over the space of 4 minutes 🙂 Not worked up, just slightly bemused and like to clear up answers to questsions rather than leave things with more questions 🙂 Who knows, I might want to change my methods if you put up a reasonable case.

Not the case with everyone, but certainly many women see a joint account as proof of trust on the husbands part. That, in itself, shows lack of trust. It's like marriage – I don't see the point without kids really, it takes more commitment to stay with someone when not legally tied to them than it does when you're not, it's just a tool to reduce relationship insecurity.

I earn roughly 20% more than my mrs but all the money goes into a single account. I get paid at the end of each month and the rent, bills etc come out within the next few days. Her wages get paid weekly which then acts as spending money for the month. Doing it like this seems to remove the disparity in the money we bring home.

As for buying stuff – we live together, if one of us wants something then the other generally knows about it and we plan accordingly. Neither of us will go out and spend a significent amount without telling the other we've done it afterwards and neither will criticize the other for buying whatever it is. (She's after some X0/Noir stuff this month…)

What really bugged me when I worked in an outdoor shop was the amount of people, both male and female, who had to ask their partner if they were "allowed" to buy something…