The Black Sheep

7 Gifts to Give the Long Islander in Your Life

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Which means it’s time to spend all of your money on secret santas and obligatory family and friend’s presents. About 80% of this school is made up of Long Islanders (unknown statistic, but it really seems like it’s that high of a number). So chances are you have at least one Long Islander in your life. So what do you get them?

7.) Northface:

Chances are you cannot afford Northface (unless it is from the discount bin at Goodwill or Plato’s closet. Or you took one from The Rat.) Long Islanders love flaunting their Northface with their winter’s best. After all, when going out in January in mini dresses, the Northface coat can keep them warm.

6.) Coach:

Chances are the Long Islander in your life owns something Coach. Coach wallet, Coach Purse, Coach sunglasses, etc. They love Coach. So why not get them some more to add to their collection.

5.) Vineyard Vines:

There’s a whale and people like it. But apparently Long Islanders flock to Vineyard Vines on a regular basis, so you can’t go wrong here.

4.) Basically Anything Designer:

We’re sensing a theme here…

3.) Uggs:

For the most basic Long Island bitch. Uggs completes the Northface winter look. These cannot be knockoff Uggs from payless. Only real Uggs. Boots with the fur. The whole Rat was looking at her…

2.) Spa Gift Card:

The Long Islander in your life works really hard. After driving home on the Long Island Expressway, they will need a relaxing spa day. You have to take two flights home winter break? Not as stressful as the Long Island Expressway.

1.) Hanukkah Gifts:

Get your friend something Hanukkah related! Get them something that represents inside jokes from your evenings at Chabad. Even though a Long Island Jew is as rare as a cold day in Binghamton, it’s the thought that counts.

With this list you’re sure to make any Long Islander happy, whether they’re a friend, crush, or just stranger on the street. But whatever you do, make sure to include a gift receipt…