I’m not big on conspiracy theories, but I do believe there is no depth to which the Republican Party, specifically John S. McCain, will not sink during this campaign. Every since Sarah Palin was announced as his running mate, and the subsequent tidal wave of scandals, bully-tactics, and generally bad judgment on her part has arisen, I’ve wondered whether this whole thing is not the ultimate okey-doke.

From all reports, McCain’s first choice was Joe Lieberman, but he essentially had a snowball’s chance in hell of getting him okayed by the Republican power brokers. With all the other qualified people out there, he somehow picks the hockey mom from East Russia, who promptly produces more baggage than a Southwest Airlines Fun Fare. In less than 96 hours, we’ve had Dairygate, Troopergate, questions about the real mothering of Trig, laughing at offensive comments against a rival (cancer, weight), 17-year-old daughter five months pregnant, membership in an Alaska-secessionist party, husband DWI, librarian and police chief fired because they didn’t support her mayoral campaign, staff member fired because he was dating soon-to-be ex of hubby Palin’s friend– can I just stop there? What serious Presidential candidate, in even the most obscure semblance of his right mind, would select someone like that for a potential VP?

One who has something up his sleeve, that’s who. Now I may be as wrong as two left shoes, but I have a gut feeling that Palin will accept the nomination this week in St. Paul, and will subsequently — within two weeks– withdraw from the race. She will say something akin to “In spite of my commitment to John McCain and the American people, the media’s continued distortion of my background, though categorically untrue, has severely undermined my candidacy, and in doing so, is causing irreparable harm to the candidacy of Senator McCain. It is with deep regret, but with the best interests of the American people at heart, that I must withdraw.”

Or something similarly bogus.

No longer bound by the convention (and trying to sell skeptical delegates on Lieberman), and now pressed by party leaders (at least publicly, since they would certainly be in on the flim-flam) to make a quick decision, he gets to choose Lieberman. Palin is the rabbit in a marathon; keeping the pace and holding everyone’s attention until the real stud comes flying by. She’ll go back to Alaska, governing until that plum Cabinet position is given to her as a reward for her “sacrifice.”

Like I said, I usually don’t go for conspiracy theories, but remember that you read it here first.

Update: Well, maybe I was on to something after all. Check this out from HuffPo.

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