Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Okay, Bob? We’ve got to get a move on or we’re going to be late for school. Take your hand out of your pants please. Did you finish your egg? It’s show and let go of your penis tell today. Did you pick something to bring? I like that but please keep your hand out thank you the color this week is yellow so what you’re showing and telling about needs to be yellow. Touching privates is for a private time. Perfect.

Let’s get your shirt on. Why not? Sure, wait, do you have to pee? No? Are you sure? Then let go of it that shirt’s fine. Oh sorry, let me stretch out the neck a little so your noggin will fit in easier. Great. Let’s put your truck in a bag it's a wonderful penis, but I don't need to see it right now with your name on it. Where are your shoes? Are they by the back door? The bathroom? I don’t know. Hand out of pants. Under the ottoman? You look there and I’ll look on the service porch. Nope. Oh, great, bring them over let your wiener go, Babe and we’ll put on your sneakers.

I think you’re going to need a sweatshirt. Let’s get out to the car. Come on, Pooch. And keep your hand off of it.

15 comments:

I had a younger brother just like Bob. With 5 older sibs constantly telling him to please, oh please take it to your room. Loved this for bringing back such funny memories. Damn, I wish I hadn't put that in my birthday blog to him!

SO glad to know someone else shares this monologue! Mind is identical, except for interspersed variations of "Don't terrorize your sisters with your penis." It's tough convincing a 5-year-old boy that no one else is as fascinated with his private parts as he is.

My son likes to hold it and tell me "It growing!" Oh dear God. I really didn't think it would happen at 3. Three! Oy! What the heck is 16 going to be like. If I walk in on...oh. I got dizzy thinking about it.

This was so perfectly written. It's just what my day sounds like. I mean, I'm not even kidding. I wanted to write a post similar, but just wasn't sure how to write it. You did it for me! :-)