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Saturday, October 29, 2011

Worthwhile

Every now and then I used to get to the end of a week and think, Whew, that was a rough week. Then more and more it started to be that every week felt that way. So I've decided to stop looking at it that way and have come to the realization that life is just rough. It's a difficult journey which I've never really been up for. However, when I know it's supposed to be a journey and I know it's not supposed to be an easy one...? Then I can start to appreciate the good days...or the pretty good weeks...or the good friendships in the totally bad seasons. I start to realize how blessed I am.

Anyway, through recent circumstances that will trickle out into explanations on some eventual day to come...I have really started asking myself the question...What makes it all worthwhile? And I'm not talking about the textbook "right" answers. I'm talking about for You. For Me. As happy, sad, crazy, messed up, gifted, inadequate human beings. What makes this rough journey really and truly worthwhile? Here are some things I've been thinking about. What makes your list?

1. Well, it may be the "right" answer, but all the same...Nothing makes life more worthwhile to me than being able to connect with God. And by that I do not mean striving and striving to reach and reach just a little bit higher so I can one day hope to get close to Him. No. I am talking about taking His outstretched hand and refusing to let go. Knowing that by virtue of this connection--this closeness that I don't strive for, but that He graciously extends to me--He will...and He is...transforming me bit by bit into the likeness of His perfect Son.

2. Another "right" answer, but true. Life is worthwhile when I can connect with other people. When I can have one-on-one conversations and relate my stories to their stories, my struggles to their struggles, my comfort received to their comfort needed. The quality of my life (as lame as that sounds) suffers immensely when I do not have this. I hope for it from strangers and acquaintances, but I deeply long for it with family...whether it's the family I'm born with, or the family patchwork family that got stitched together when I moved faraway from home.

3. Writing. Writing makes the journey worthwhile for me. When all the weird and sometimes random thoughts, when all the rough patches in my journey, when all the incredible highs and devastating lows can (eventually) find some sort of emotional release in the words that I--sometimes carefully, sometimes recklessly and haphazardly--spell out. When I can focus my thoughts enough to realize there really is a point to all this mess.

4. Beauty. In particular, the beauty that I see when I close my computer, turn off the movie, and go outside. The beauty that inspires wonder and never fails to point me upward.

5. Working with my hands. Usually it's knitting, crocheting, sewing or any other artsy-craftsy thing, but it can also be scrubbing a toilet or making my bed, and I need to remember this next time I dread the impending cleaning session.

6. Creating and bringing something to life (that hopefully hasn't been brought to life yet, or not exactly). When a piece of me is 'born' and released into the world. This feels good.

7. Giving. Whether it's making something special for someone (my favorite), or just knowing that the money I am (and don't particularly enjoy) earning is able to do somebody some good.

8. Life. It seems silly to say that life makes life worthwhile...but I think it does. I am blessed to live and breathe alongside my favorite companion, and to share our space with the cutest canine who lives and breathes beside us. Celebrating life--blooming flowers, hatching birds, tiny new babies - even celebrating those we loved a little while before losing - makes the ride worthwhile.

What about you? What am I forgetting that I need to be reminded of? What do I not appreciate yet but need to discover? What makes like uniquely worthwhile for you? Do tell me.