DUmmie FUnnies

A FUnnie look at the loony residents of the Democratic Underground aka DUmmies in particular and the Leftwing Blogosphere in general.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

"WSJ: Opposing immigration bill could sink GOP"

I wanted to do a DUFU about the Shamnesty Immigation bill now in the Senate. Unfortunately there has been almost NO discussion about this issue in the Leftwing Blogosphere...until now. As you can see in this Daily KOs KOmmie THREAD titled, "WSJ: Opposing immigration bill could sink GOP," this debate is only interesting to the Left because they are desperately hoping that it will sink the Republicans. That is the the sum total of the Left's interest in this bill. The fact that it would take jobs away from American citizens and eventually cost us trillions of dollars in benefits to the illegals who will be legalized is of no concern to them. Only that they think it hurts Republicans. In fact this KOmmie thread was posted by head KOmmie KOs himself. So let us now watch the KOmmie rejoicing over the perceived harm to the GOP (not the country) in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, thinking that KOmmie KOs would enjoy interviewing Senator Lindsey Gramnesty in a very private session on this topic, is in the [brackets]:

WSJ: Opposing immigration bill could sink GOP

[Opposing Shamnesty will HELP the Republicans because it means profoundly IGNORANT RINOS like crybaby Senator George Voinovich will be purged from office.]

Yes, the Wall Street Journal is the mouthpiece for the Corporate Cons, who have a clear interest in the current immigration bill making its torturous way through Congress. But regardless of their motivations, this editorial today nails the GOP's immigration dilemma.

Republicans are being torn asunder between their nativist base, and shifting demographics that could spell doom to any hope of future Republican majorities.

["Nativist base." That is how KOmmie KOs describes U.S. citizens concerned about losing jobs to the flood of illegals that will be legalized by the Shamnesty bill.]

Looking at this in stark political terms (ignoring the very real problems of our undocumented underclass), Democrats have little interest in seeing this legislation pass. It's a flawed bill that could be dramatically improved on by stronger Democratic majorities in Congress and a Democratic president in two years. And it's failure now, at the hands of xenophobic Republicans, would solidify Democratic hold over perhaps the largest swing constituency in the country.

[As I type this, the Shamnesty Bill now looks like it will be killed by the cloture vote in a few hours, despite the best efforts of Senator Gramnesty and complete MORONS like Crybaby Voinovich.]

Republicans would be not be just a regional southern party, but also a lily white one. Latinos aren't afraid to vote Republican, and exit polls showed that new Latino immigrants were more likely to vote Republican than second- or third-generation Latinos. Rove saw those numbers and wants more of the same. But once you attack our culture, it becomes a cultural imperative to vote for those who embrace us rather than demonize. California is exhibit A in this phenomenon.

[Let's see. KOmmie KOs admits the bill stinks but that Republicans will be somehow harmed by opposing this travesty.]

Karl Rove gets this, and the WSJ has come out with all guns blazing. The danger to the GOP's long-term prospects is stark.

[Desperately hopes KOmmie KOs. Of course he is not the slightest bit concerned about the danger to the USA's long-term prospects.]

By now, the damage may already be done. Even if this bill somehow becomes law, Latinos will spend the next year and a half hearing the GOP presidential wannabees one-up themselves on brown-bashing, and that will speak louder than any brownie points Bush might earn for fighting to the death for this bill.

[And if the bill is KILLED, the voters will fondly remember those of both parties who put the cloture stake through it.]

But it really is amazing how an issue that seemed destined to hit the Democrats hard just a couple of years ago has suddenly turned into a divisive "make or break" issue for the Republican Party.

[I have to admit that George Bush & Co. got suckered bigtime by the Democrats on this one. For the KOmmies, this whole immigration debate boils down on how best to HARM the GOP. And now to hear from KOs' fellow KOmmies...]

Sweet. Just sweet.

[Sweet. Putting the whole country at risk just to harm the GOP. Just sweet.]

...still not believing this whole "wedge issue is dividing Republicans" stuff until I see it in action. Base GOP voters are notoriously hard to pry off the jocks of the superstars when it really matters.

[The biggest effect this will have on the GOP is to make it easier to get rid of the RINOS...and that's a GOOD thing!]

This Senate bill sucks for both the illegal immigrants and the American people. This is a bad bill. I think as many Hispanics may oppose it (especially when more know what's in it, maybe after it passes) as Republicans. It will be for different reasons, but the compromise for this bill did not make it better. It made it a completely untenable piece of work.

[And this KOmmie WINS a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]

What a complicated issue. But it's always good to see Republicans on the losing side of something, which seems to be happening much more frequently these days.

[The bottom line on how the Left views the Shamnesty Bill.]

But didn't Bush pretty much kill any chance of the bill passing when he said it offered amnesty?

[Sometimes misspeaking has POSITIVE benefits. Or was this just a Freudian slip on Bush's part? Either way, I like that it HARMED the Shamnesty Bill.]

It's nice to see one of these dopey malapropisms actually hurt him.

[And the Shamnesty Bill.]

The Dems have our own nativist base. Once we get the power to make clean powerful immigration reform I predict it's gonna get damn ugly in some parts of the mid and southwest.

[The voice of La Raza speaks up...and reveals their future plans.]

It's better from the Dem perspective for there to be shared political responsibility on the "amensty" issue and for this issue to be dealt with this year.

[Translation: "It's better if we sucker the Republicans now on supporting Shamnesty."]

There are places in the country, especially along the border, where it can bite us. If I were Reid or Pelosi, I would not get too far out front without a lot of Republican coverage.

[We need to sucker enough Republican stooges to provide political cover for us.]

I thought Pelosi wanted 75 Repubs to commit to vote for the bill before she would bring it to the floor. It sounded like a good idea when I first heard it, and it sounds even better now.

[Nancy Pelosi wants 75 Republican suckers to provide political cover for the Democrats.]

I have numerous issues with this bill, but the prospect of pitting the GOP against the nation's fastest growing population is almost too good to pass up. It seems as if the Dem leadership keeps resurrecting this thing to bury the GOP. No way the Dems could actually support some of the utter crapola in the bill.

[Thanx for your HONESTY. You realize this Shamnesty Bill is crapola but since it would end up hurting Republicans, you think its great. I only wish MORONS like Crybaby Voinovich could read your post but, of course, he is so DUmb that it wouldn't even register with him.]

the real question here is WHY is the democratic party supporting amnesty?

[Because if they get enough SUCKER Republicans to also support it, they think it will harm the GOP.]

Amnesty is essentially what the US does now, which is deport people with no fines, jail time, etc. This bill is worse because it provides a significant benefit for very little cost to people who have broken the law in many different ways. It's simply absurd.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

The thousand year Reich is collapsing. Pass me another Corona with lime.

[Si.]

So I hope and would pray, if I did pray, that after the bill does its job of splitting the Republicans, it dies a quiet death.

[Thanx for providing yet more confirmation that the REAL purpose of this Shamnesty Bill is to harm Republicans.]

I'd much prefer to do this now with Bush as political cover and also pushing Republicans to vote for the bill. I believe we should fight for the best we can get and improve the bil in later years.

[Yet more KOmmie KOnfirmation that they need Sucker Republicans to harm themselves.]

If there was even a half-assed enforcement of existing laws, many illegals would leave on their own. Many haven't been here that long, and if their access to jobs, free benefits, etc was stopped, and there was NO propsect of amnesty, what would be a reason to stay?

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Am Hispanic (Puerto Rico) and I (and my family) are against amnesty.... It has nothing to do with hate or bias against latinos. ITS THE RIGHT THING TO DO!!!! We are full up...this will be a free pass to every one who is coming over the wall this minute and thinking about entering the country illegally in the future.

[Sorry. I've already used up my Kewpie Doll quota on this thread.]

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

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Monday, June 25, 2007

Sen. Mike Gravel: "Why Hillary Scares Me"

I'm growing sort of fond of the Potted Plant, aka Mike Gravel. Perhaps it is because, despite disagreeing with him on almost everything political, I find his bizarre eccentricity refreshing in this era of manufactured candidates. And should you doubt that Gravel is eccentric, then I invite you to take a look at his campaign VIDEO where he stares wordlessly into the camera for several minutes followed by him tossing a large rock into the water and then just walking silently off into the distance. Gravel subsequently informed us that the "metaphors" in his video were obvious. Me, I'm still scratching my head over it. In addition to this offbeat quirkiness, another big factor in the appeal of Mike Gravel is his willingness to take on Hillary Clinton as you can see in his HUffington POST titled, "Why Hillary Scares Me." So let us now watch Mike Gravel cast aspersions upon Her Highness in bright Looney Tunes Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, warning the Potted Plant not to toss any rocks in the water at Fort Marcy Park, is in the [brackets]:

Why Hillary Scares Me

[Especially after looking at that picture above.]

During one of the debates I mentioned that my fellow Democratic candidates scare me. Hillary's speech last week to the Take Back America conference gives me yet another reason to be afraid.

[Be afraid. Be VERY afraid!]

In an indignant voice she decried the Bush administration's ''stunning record of secrecy and corruption, of cronyism run amok. . . It is everything our founders were afraid of, everything our Constitution was designed to prevent.'' Actually, our Constitution grants Congress the power to prevent these ills but Hillary and her colleagues weren't up to the task.

[Secrecy and corruption and cronysm...oh my! Was she having a flashback to Bill's presidency?]

Our founders' legacy did not stop Hillary from voting for the Patriot Act and then supporting its renewal in 2006 despite revelations that the government was using it to infringe on the very liberties that our founders held sacred. Where was her commitment to our founders when she voted to gut our habeas corpus protections?

[Don't worry. Hillary will eventually say something like "knowing what I know now, I would never have voted for the Patriot Act."]

As for cronyism -- Hillary has repeatedly authorized billions that the Pentagon gave in no-bid contracts to Halliburton. Even though the Democrats have been in control of Congress for months, they still haven't summoned Wolfowitz, Rumsfeld and the other usual suspects to account for the missing millions in reconstruction funding.

[As for cronyism -- look no further than her chicken swallowing kid brother, Baby Huey.]

Hillary, as an active supporter of the war, you are one of many Americans who are guilty. And now all Americans are left responsible, regardless of whether we supported or opposed he war.

[An active supporter of what she now calls Bush's War.]

The inability to admit a mistake and assume responsibility is not just a morally bankrupt way to walk through life; it is a dangerous and deadly way to lead a nation. When I am president, I will open up all secret files relating to the Iraq war and expose all officials who lied to the public in promoting it. (That's right, Dick, your files too.) My Justice Department will prosecute everyone who lied under oath or ripped off the American taxpayer by exploiting the Iraq reconstruction effort. And I will pardon to no one.

[But will you still toss a large rock into a Camp David pond when you are president? And now to hear from the rest of the HUffies...]

Earthlings Unite!

[The aliens are attacking with pond rocks through the Gravel Dimensional Door!]

Democrats like me will vote for anyone but Hillary. Hell I would vote for shrub before I would vote for her.

[Does Cheney also have your vote?]

Read any one of hundreds of polls that tell you almost a majority of American's would UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES vote for her ... ever. Why is that so hard to understand? That means she has to win every other vote, every Democrat, every Green, every left leaning Independent. That's not likely in the slightest, not even for the Democratic voters, as evidenced in abundance by commenters here. The inescapable conclusion is that supporting her primary candidacy is nothing short of supporting *whomever* the GOP chooses.

[The news is getting better!]

If my choices are her, or some other right-wing nut job, I'll find at least one or two sane third party candidates I can vote for with a clear conscience.

[That sanity bit might be a tough requirement but go for it!]

Democrats need to stick with candidates like Gravel, because we need people who openly oppose corporate influence. That is the elephant in the room.

[It appears the Hillary elephant is taking a big dump in your room.]

Gravel does a very good job of biting at the heels of shills like HRC, however.

[Gravel is also known for biting carpets as well.]

I think it would be easier to sell the public on NO TAXES. Go back to a system where we use Tariffs. Then tax energy imports (like Ross Perot suggested). The fewer points in the Nexus of taxation, the lest cost it is to get the revenue. Businesses and individuals would instantly have about 10% more work time available.

[Hillary is sure to support that...NOT!!!]

You hit hit it right on the head! Hillary is about as trustworthy as her husband. Clinton had to be dragged kicking and screaming into admitting anything about the Monica Lewinsky affair.

[The Blue Dress silenced her.]

Well said; and if we have any luck at all Hillary WILL NOT GET THE DEMOCRATIC NOMINATION. If we have any luck...

[Sorry. You're OUTTA luck!]

Meanwhile, she's making cutesy commercials with Bill that have been received in some quarters like the second coming of Lucy and Desi Arnaz.

[Oh RICKEEEEY!!! You spilt more presidue on a blue dress again! Oh RICKEEEEY!!! I wanna be president too and sing Babalu in the Oval Office!]

This is your last warning, fellow Dems, nominate Hillary and the party is finished.

[HILLARY '08!!!]

The Clintons and the Bushes seem inseperable. I wonder if they met in a swinger's club.

[The club where Hillary was looking for Bush.]

Bloomberg is contemplating the same. It won't work beyond reducing the Democrats chance at winning.

[BLOOMBERG '08!!!]

Face the facts. She is bought and paid for.

[Peter Paul wants his money back.]

Personally, I would prefer to be blown up by terrorist in a massive explosion than face the rest of my life with economic evisceration by the globalist free trade freaks.

"NBC's Brian Williams Losing More Viewers Than Couric"

This past Memorial Day I was visiting my parents. For most of the day, I was just lounging around as is typical on my visits and catching up on the stack of New Yorker magazines that piled up since I had been there previously. I was also enjoying the "World's Deadliest Catch" on the Discovery Channel which is a fascinating show about the Alaskan King Crab fishermen. During one of the commercials early in the evening, I went back into the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee and when I returned my father was sitting in front of the TV set tuned to another channel.

"Hey, don't you want to see 'World's Deadliest Catch?'" I asked.

"No. It's time for the NEWS," replied my father.

"The news? It's Memorial Day. There isn't much in the way of news today. You can always catch up on it later."

"I can't. I have to watch the NEWS now."

Suddenly I realized what was going on. I had completely forgotten that my father, for over 40 years, has had the daily habit of watching the NEWS at exactly 6:30 PM every weekday. And it was always on CBS.

"What do you think, of Katie Couric?" I asked curiously.

"I can't stand her. She's terrible!"

So why do you watch the CBS Evening News?"

My father looked at me almost pleadingly. "I have no choice. It's the NEWS!"

I started to explain the concept of getting the news 24/7 on the Web in greater detail than that offered on the network newscasts but since his technical expertise in such matters pretty much ceased following the introduction of color TV, I gave up trying to explain when I noticed him blinking his eyes uncomprehendingly.

And with that anecdote, we see in a nutshell what is wrong with network newscasts. They appeal to an older generation who only watch mainly out of habit. For younger people, network newscasts are a superfluous relic of a past when the family stopped what they were doing and gathered in front of the glowing tube to receive the NEWS. Except for the older generation, most people nowadays, simply log on to the web and get their news up to day instantly (your humble correspondent uses the Drudge Report as his home page). With the introduction of YouTube and similar sites, we can now even get video clips on a scale much vaster than that offered by the time limited newscasts. Therefore, the network newscasts have become a dinosaur which is reflected in their tumbling ratings. Katie Couric, who my father watches strictly out of habit, is suffering major ratings losses since she took over in the slot once filled by the disgraced Dan Rather. However, the only thing worse than plunging as badly as Katie in the ratings is plunging even more rapidly than Ms Couric as chronicled in this HUffington POST, "NBC's Brian Williams Losing More Viewers Than Couric." I guess it still hasn't occured to Brian that being a standard liberal like all the other network anchors is not something that will make you stand out from the crowd. In addition, Williams seems to have adopted Hurricane Katrina as his overused shtick to beat us over the head with as a metaphor for government (read EVIL Republican) neglect. Hey, Brian, we got your biased point and we're bored to death with your constant harping on this topic as is reflected in your plunging ratings. So let us now watch the HUffies analyze the pathetic plunge in Brian Williams' ratings in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, always able to set his watch by the time my father religiously tunes to CBS every day to receive the NEWS, is in the [brackets]:

NBC's Brian Williams Losing More Viewers Than Couric

[Even Katie can now boast about being less of a loser than Brian.]

All the attention paid to Couric's tough start at CBS has overshadowed what's been going on at NBC. In Couric's first 39 weeks at CBS, she's lost 287,000 viewers from the average of a year ago, a drop of 4 percent from predecessor Bob Schieffer's audience. At the same time, "Nightly News" lost 533,000 viewers, or 5 percent, Nielsen said.

In Williams' first three months after taking over from Tom Brokaw in December 2004, "Nightly News" averaged 10.79 million viewers. In the past three months, it's been 7.66 million. To be fair, the nightly news audience traditionally drops when warm weather arrives, and it has been a slow news period.

[When cold weather returns there will still be a big chill in the Nightly News ratings. And now to hear from the HUffington POst HUffies...]

You mean a slow bullshit period.

[A barnyard way of describing summer.]

The last TV newsman I watched regularly was Walter Cronkite.

[Who served up the BS more skillfully than the others.]

There are so many real-time outlets for news (internet, 24-hour stations, etc.) that the target market for the scheduled broadcast news are those who aren't all that focused on the news. It's not necessarily that they want their news to be crap, but the main reason that they turned on the TV was not to get the news. If they main reason they turned on the TV was to get the news they likely would have turned on CNN or FOX or MSNBC or fired up the computer.

[Firing up the computer is becoming the favored option especially with the rapid growth of YouTube type video clips. Any video the TV news shows, I can see at my CONVENIENCE on the Web.]

The only real regular news program on television is the War and Peace Report, on Democracy Now. It is available on Free Speech TV, which is a public access channel. You can also watch it as a podcast. Google Democracy Now to download the necessary software.

[Have you upgraded your Democracy Now software to the Bolshevik 2.1 version yet?]

Right wing radio is imploding for the same reason.

[Trent Lott, Hillary, and Barbara Boxer would disagree with you.]

With CBS going down the toilet due to allowing a kindergarden teacher read the news, & NBC falling off the map due to a dumb frat boy being allowed to read the news, I guess that leaves ABC.

[At this point, even reading "My Pet Goat" won't help Katie Couric in the ratings department.]

Brian Williams was my favorite and I realize he doesn't decide what to say it is all preprogrammed and he is just a mouth piece.

[The mouth piece taking directions from his ear piece.]

On his news show, his handlers have been dumbing him down, big-time, info-tainment style, perhaps so he can better compete with uber-authority Katie Couric?

[The easiest task in the world is dumbing down Brian Williams.]

Brian Williams has been long lost within his own arrogance. I was once hopeful, but quickly saw that he couldn't hold Walter Cronkite's weenus . . . with both hands.

[Walter Cronkite as the John Holmes of news anchors.]

I never cottoned to Brian...seemed stiff and unnatural. But I happened to catch him on someone else's show recently supposedly commenting on "illegal immigration." He never used the word "illegal" and did not differentiate between illegal and legal immigration even once. I could respect it if his views are pro amnesty, etc., but he just spoke as though illegal IS the exact same as legal.

[God forbid if Brian Williams ever veers in the slightest from the strictest interpretation of PC speak.]

Do I care who is up and who is down. They are all the same, doing the same propaganda for the corporate and right wing elite in this country.

[In the Alternate Reality on the other side of the Dimensional Door, the looney left has convinced themselves that the likes of Katie Couric and Brian Williams are delivering propaganda for the EVIL Republicans.]

All US media is Zionist owned more or less and filtered for idiot consumption.

[Don't you mean "Neocon owned?"]

if the networks started reporting to america about what really happened on 9/11 and how the murder of 3000 people was used as an excuse to go into iraq and to destroy civil liberties at home, i'm sure you would see a big jump in their ratings

[Nothing is stopping you from starting a Truther News Network.]

All Williams has going for him is his insufferable arrogance. There are a lot of us out here that actually think for ourselves and we don't like fluffs like Couric and Arrogant A$$holes like Williams. We also don't much watch any of the nightly news programs because we actually would like to know what is really going on in the world and know we won't find out from Couric, Gibson, and Williams et al. Don't need news readers anymore; we can read our own on the internet.

[Could you send me the video link with Williams doing his Katrina shtick for the umpteenth time?]

Imus plugged Williams relentlessly and he returned the favor but stabbing him in the back proving his lack of charachter (Russert was no better) and who wants their news from someone like that? Apparently, many of us do not.

[Mr. Katrina has your back.]

I guess that some people are still watching TV news just as if it were a source for information about the world instead of the source for commercial porn messages that it is.

[My fave commercial porn message was the one delivered by Bob Dole on the subject of PED. I always wondered how parents replied to their kids when asked what that PED was that they heard Senator Dole talking about on the tube.]

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

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Thursday, June 21, 2007

"The Right Wing Domination Of Talk Radio And How To End It"

If you think Hugo Chavez shutting down a TV station with contrary political opinions was something unique to Venezuela, you would be wrong. The Leftwing right here in the USA would dearly love to attempt to shut down all opposition voices. This is not something I had find out in secret while consulting Yojo. The Left makes it plain loud and clear that they HATE opposing opinion as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD demagogically titled, "REPORT: The Right Wing Domination Of Talk Radio And How To End It." So let us now watch the DUmmies plan to shut down conservative talk radio in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if Al Franken will ever return his hefty salary stolen from the Boys and Girls Club, is in the [brackets]:

REPORT: The Right Wing Domination Of Talk Radio And How To End It

[But Left Wing Domination of the rest of the media is perfectly okay with you.]

The Center for American Progress and Free Press today released the first-ever statistical analysis of the political make-up of talk radio in the United States. It confirms that talk radio, one of the most widely used media formats in America, is dominated almost exclusively by conservatives.

[Damn those lousy market forces!!!]

The new report — entitled “The Structural Imbalance of Political Talk Radio” — raises serious questions about whether the companies licensed to broadcast over the public radio airwaves are serving the listening needs of all Americans.

[They must be FORCED to put on Leftwing hosts that almost no one listens to! Bring back Jim Hightower! Bring back Mario Cuomo!]

While progressive talk is making inroads on commercial stations, right-wing talk reigns supreme on America’s airwaves. Some key findings:

[What inroads? Al Franken quit because of lousy ratings and both Randi Rhodes and Blowhard Ed Shultz are in the ratings toilet.]

– In the spring of 2007, of the 257 news/talk stations owned by the top five commercial station owners, 91 percent of the total weekday talk radio programming was conservative, and only 9 percent was progressive.

[That's because only 9 percent of the public wants to listen to Bolshevik radio.]

– Each weekday, 2,570 hours and 15 minutes of conservative talk are broadcast on these stations compared to 254 hours of progressive talk — 10 times as much conservative talk as progressive talk.

[Boo! Hoo! Protect us from those evil market forces!]

– 76 percent of the news/talk programming in the top 10 radio markets is conservative, while 24 percent is progressive.

[And 95 percent of network television news is "progressive."]

Our conclusion is that the gap between conservative and progressive talk radio is the result of multiple structural problems in the U.S. regulatory system, particularly the complete breakdown of the public trustee concept of broadcast, the elimination of clear public interest requirements for broadcasting, and the relaxation of ownership rules including the requirement of local participation in management. (…)

[EEEK! Free Speech! It must be STAMPED OUT!!!]

Ultimately, these results suggest that increasing ownership diversity, both in terms of the race/ethnicity and gender of owners, as well as the number of independent local owners, will lead to more diverse programming, more choices for listeners, and more owners who are responsive to their local communities and serve the public interest.

[A quota system in which only one viewpoint will be allowed to be heard---Bolshevism. And now to hear from the DUmmieland Chekhists...]

I can say it in harsher terms...conservative radio listeners tend to be stupid and not very in-tune to modern technological developments...or else they wouldn't be listening to the f*cking radio. RADIO? People still use that thing?

[Thanx for admitting that leftwing radio is BOOOORING as hell. Laura Ingraham and Rush are easy to listen to because they are INTERESTING.]

Well what Malloy was doing for me was echoing all the crapthat used to filter through my own cerebrum - you know, the phrases, like that lying goddamn awful Bush! If I could just explain how much I hate them! And he basically just enthused about the simmer that some of us have going on full time because of that Doofus in the WH and all his little pranks and all the terrible destruction. But now i can't even listen to that any more. I am gonna pretend that everything is okay.

[So that voice you heard in your head was really Mike Malloy...or maybe it was just Yojo laughing at you.]

Every fundie and right-winger I know -- and I actually know way more than I wish I did -- doesn't use their computer.

Believe me, there are a LOT of people out there who are totally clueless when it comes to the internet. And I'd hazard a guess that MOST OF THEM are moranic white-ringers...er, right-wingers...who can figger out how to turn on an AM radio, but just don't git this whole web thingy.

[Like Larry King who says he doesn't go on the Internet because he doesn't want to "push all those buttons?"]

Listening to "progressive" stations is a chore. I feel like I've stepped back to the fifties. Horrible production values...it makes me feel as if I'm listening to an old scratchy AM station in Biloxi. What's the deal with that?

[When I listen to "progressive" stations I feel like I've stepped back into another dimension in the Alternate Reality.]

Right-wing talk is successful becuase its informative and often quite entertaining - they know what their audience wants, and they give it to them. Rush started out in 1988, when talk radio was pretty much a DEAD medium ... and after 20 years, he's created what can only be described as an empire. He has more listeners at any one time than most liberal stations will get in any one WEEK. He is single-handedly responsible for the success of other hosts like Boortz, Hannity, Savage, Schlessinger, and Beck. There is an admirable quality to that kind of grass-roots success.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

The market is deciding- and yet successful liberal stations are being pulled by right-wing corporate owners.

[Like Clear Channel which is keeping Air America shows on their WINZ station here in South Florida despite incredibly crappy ratings?]

There's gotta be a way to turn this around. The only alternative is to surrender our positions on the issues.

[We own ALL your issues!]

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Have you ever been at the beach and seen a really hot looking chick? Most likely all you will end up doing is just stare at her, drooling like an idiot. If you try to talk to her you will probably embarrass yourself with your clumsy pickup lines. Well, GOOD NEWS! I now have a product guaranteed to make it EASY to pick up lots of hot looking women at the beach. It is a product I have been using myself and fully endorse: the amazing HELICOPTER KITE. This helicopter kite flies like a helicopter. You can make it go hundreds of feet into the air or hover it just a couple of feet off the ground. The propellor rotation is done entirely by windpower. So how does this help you pick up chicks? Simple. Just hover this helicopter kite a few feet off the ground near the hot beach chick of your choice. In most cases they will be overcome with curiosity and come over to YOU to ask about it. I've run a little experiment on this and it works on about 75% of the women (catch and release in my case since I'm married). My advice is to keep the conversation initially focused on the helicopter kite until you can later make a sneaky segue into asking her out for dinner. From that point on, you're on your own. Please check out the VIDEO of the INCREDIBLE helicopter kite. Not only was the helicopter kite aerodynamically designed but it is also MADE IN THE USA! So feel good about purchasing an AMERICAN MADE toy which makes the perfect method for vastly enhancing your social life. The helicopter kites have a LIFETIME warranty so all defective or broken parts will be replaced. Your purchase of the helicopter kite will not only provide you with lots of hot dates but it will also help keep the DUmmie FUnnies going. So take a look at the VIDEO and be AMAZED! Remember, those hot beach chicks are waiting!

p.s. Check out what one of our happy customers had to SAY about the amazing helicopter kite.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

William Rivers Pitt Psychoanalyzed

Okay, this DUFU edition is a bit different than a typical one. In this edition we see William Rivers Pitt placed under the psychological microscope in an incredibly HILARIOUS but accurate manner by franksolich over at the CONSERVATIVE UNDERGROUND. So let us now watch franksolich present his analysis of Pied Piper Pitt in Bostonian Blue while your humble correspondent yells "BRAVO!" from the sidelines between bellylaughs.

You know the Bostonian Drunkard Hates his father.

It doesn't take Sigmund Freud to figure out the Bostonian Drunkard.

But because it's not considered socially respectable to Hate one's own father--but yet one has that "need," that "urge," to Hate, one transfers it to another target, in the case of the Bostonian Drunkard, to the nice guy who never did the Bostonian Drunkard any harm, the guy currently in the White House.

The Bostonian Drunkard is "closer" to his mother, but he dislikes her too.

It doesn't take Sigmund Freud to figure out the Bostonian Drunkard.

His tactic with his mother however, is different.

The Bostonian Drunkard is a child of divorce.

The Bostonian Drunkard constantly urges his maternal ancestress to read DUmmieland, not for the purpose of illumination and enlightenment, but more so to embarrass and humiliate her, for having "hurt" him by getting a divorce when he was still a little lad.

"LOOK, MOM!--LOOK OVER HERE, MOM!--HEY, MOM!--LOOK AT ME, MOM!--LOOK AT WHAT A FOOL I'M MAKING OF MYSELF, MOM!--LOOK AT WHAT AN ASS I'M MAKING OF MYSELF, MOM!--DON'T YOU FEEL BADLY, MOM, AS YOU DESERVE TO, SEEING YOUR SON BEING SUCH A JERK, MOM?--AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, MOM, THAT I'M SUCH A SORDID SQUALID BEING, NOTHING WHAT YOU HAD HOPED I WOULD BE!--IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, MOM!--YOU MADE ME WHAT I AM, MOM, AND I HOPE IT MAKES YOU CRY, MOM, THAT I'M THE LOSER I AM!--&amp;c., &c., &c.

It doesn't take Sigmund Freud to figure out the Bostonian Drunkard.

When I think of the maternal ancestress of the Bostonian Drunkard, I think of something I saw, circa 1990, while waiting for a bus in the Back Bay or Beacon Hill (I forget which one, but all "trendy" places look alike to me). I was standing near a row-house, and on the left side was one of those windows that sticks out over the sidewalk.

In that window, behind some sheer gossamer curtains, was a grey-haired woman, circa her early 60s, tall, gaunt, emaciated, obviously well-bred. She didn't see me looking at her, as her eyes were focused on some other-worldly vision, such as perhaps a memory of an utterly worthless heir.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

"is Mike Gravel on acid?"

I have to give credit to the Potted Plant, aka Mike Gravel, he certainly is DIFFERENT. In fact, Gravel has produced perhaps the most BIZARRE campaign ad VIDEO ever which can best be described as Andy Kaufman meets the Mad Hatter. So strange is Gravel's campaign video that even the DUmmies are ASKING, "is Mike Gravel on acid?" Gravel's ad certainly does have an impact since it has already inspired a PARODY AD from another candidate. Personally, I am seeing a great future for this Mike Gravel ad in the form of commercial parodies as well. So let us now watch the DUmmies go along on an acid trip with presidential candidate Mike Gravel in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if that rock that he dropped was laced with acid, is in the [brackets]:

is Mike Gravel on acid?

[Like most other DUmmies...]

what's with that video of his - where he stares into the camera for about 2 minutes,, then goes and throws a rock into a lake, and then walks away,,,and keeps walking and keeps walking .......and walking ....into the void, ........has he resurrected Timothy Leary to run his campaign?

[Turn out, tune in, drop out...of the campaign.]

is this guy off his nut or what? seems like the same kind of thing any college freshman with a video cam who thinks they are making some deep existentialist statement would do

[For a DUmmie this was a profound statement chock full of meaning that only the looney left can see.]

I realize that a picture is worth a thousand words...but how many times can one say 'WTF"?

[Maybe it was 8 1/2 Fellini discounted down to 7 1/2.]

Mike Gravel's dead ... No, no no no, he's outside looking in

[Mike Gravel was having an out of mind experience.]

maybe he's flying his astral plane taking trips around the brain

[In our astral plane, Up is the opposite of Down but in Mike Gravel's astral plane, Up is 3 miles east of Philadelphia.]

Seriously, Gravel lost most of us up in AK when he came out for putting a dome over the state.

[A dome over the entire state of Alaska? Hey, that seems reasonable to me.]

Gravel is telling us to sit quietly for a period ....of six or seven minutes and listen to nature, listen to the gifts and the blessings we have. Move ourselves away from the chaos, distractions and the insanity for a while. There the answers will come and we will then know the right things we must do.

[And here I thought all along that it was a plea to empty his bowels in a timely manner.]

I guess I picked the wrong time to stop smoking dope.

[But the right time to take up dropping acid.]

it's refreshing to see a political candidate for high office "stop to smell the flowers". it's refreshing to hear a message that we should just stop, and think, and listen ... we could use a whole lot more of that in our political campaigns and a whole lot less of marketing-scripted, finger-in-the-air campaign slogans ...

[Also frightening.]

Gravel has actually said that the big budget advertising by candidates only confuse and dumb down the voters on the important issues. So these ads at least stay within his principles. I like them

[Crazy campaign ads are FUn to watch!]

I myself believe he's the Lizard King--he can do ANYTHING!

[You're confusing me. I thought Mike Gravel was the Potted Plant.]

He definitely broke on through to the other side

[He broke on through to the other side of of Ward B of the asylum.]

Hey, at least he is entertaining

[Better than an Andy Kaufman shtick.]

but somehow I just can't see Hillary Clinton or Rudy Guill,,Jooli,,,Gil...Whatever (too lazy to spell check), making that video it takes a special kind of crazy to make a campaign video as off the wall as that one..... maybe he's running for President of Bizzaro World

[I can see Ron Paul making that video since he is also running for President of Bizzaro World.]

His other ad is even weirder — and almost 8 minutes long!

just saw it 8 minutes of watching a campfire............is he trying to get an endorsement from Smokey the Bear?

[I dunno. I fell asleep 3 minutes into it.]

I love Gravel, he makes virtually every other candidate look moderate. He's mowed a huge field far to the left leaving an enormous amount of room for the other candidates to play in.

[...With their butterfly nets.]

UPDATE: Mike Gravel "explains" the meaning of all those metaphors in his video. So which do you think is weirder? Gravel's original video or his "explanation" of that video?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Have you ever been at the beach and seen a really hot looking chick? Most likely all you will end up doing is just stare at her, drooling like an idiot. If you try to talk to her you will probably embarrass yourself with your clumsy pickup lines. Well, GOOD NEWS! I now have a product guaranteed to make it EASY to pick up lots of hot looking women at the beach. It is a product I have been using myself and fully endorse: the amazing HELICOPTER KITE. This helicopter kite flies like a helicopter. You can make it go hundreds of feet into the air or hover it just a couple of feet off the ground. The propellor rotation is done entirely by windpower. So how does this help you pick up chicks? Simple. Just hover this helicopter kite a few feet off the ground near the hot beach chick of your choice. In most cases they will be overcome with curiosity and come over to YOU to ask about it. I've run a little experiment on this and it works on about 75% of the women (catch and release in my case since I'm married). My advice is to keep the conversation initially focused on the helicopter kite until you can later make a sneaky segue into asking her out for dinner. From that point on, you're on your own. Please check out the VIDEO of the INCREDIBLE helicopter kite. Not only was the helicopter kite aerodynamically designed but it is also MADE IN THE USA! So feel good about purchasing an AMERICAN MADE toy which makes the perfect method for vastly enhancing your social life. The helicopter kites have a LIFETIME warranty so all defective or broken parts will be replaced. Your purchase of the helicopter kite will not only provide you with lots of hot dates but it will also help keep the DUmmie FUnnies going. So take a look at the VIDEO and be AMAZED! Remember, those hot beach chicks are waiting!

p.s. Check out what one of our happy customers had to SAY about the amazing helicopter kite.

Monday, June 18, 2007

DUmmie Offended By National Anthem

Oh the horror! The absolute HORROR! Come with me and watch this tale of woe as a poor widdle DUmmie had his sacred virginal ears exposed to the (GASP!) national anthem. You can read all about this violation of his human rights in this DUmmie THREAD. So, DUmmie, can we NOW question your patriotism? Let us now watch the DUmmie writh in agony at this exposure to the national anthem in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, never before realizing what a fascist Francis Scott Key was, is in the [brackets]:

Was at the car place getting the car serviced, and all of a sudden, the P.A. system broke into a flag saluting bloisterous voice of the National Anthem. I couldn't avoid it any place on the premises, as I was already outside sitting on the curb. Felt like I was in some natzi camp getting ready for the showers. Needless to say, I voiced my opinion on the matter to the management. Told them that I was not at a sporting event, funeral, union meeting, blah blah and asked him when Wagner was scheduled. Told them that the National Anthem blasting at the car dealership was nationalistic and a bit over the top and creepy. What do you think?

[I think you have a strong case for the Hague against that car place for causing a crime against humanity by subjecting your progressive ears to the national anthem.]

We are headed down the slippery slope. I have a feeling that in the coming years, Americans are going to wish they had paid closer attention in History.

[First you hear the national anthem in public and the next thing you know you are forcibly marched into a Wal-Mart detention center. It is indeed a slippery slope.]

I'm with Luis Bunuel: I don't even want to hear it at sporting events. Of course some people would say that this makes me unpatriotic. To which I would reply: bullshit, it just makes me nonjingoistic and nonnationalistic.

[It makes you a nonrational DUmmie like Luis Bunuel.]

I could do without it there too, but then I don't go to sporting events, so I don't have to be bothered with that.

[Good news! Bukowski's doesn't play the national anthem at drinking events.]

Is Houston the only place that has replaced "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" with "God Bless America" (at least the last time I was at a game)? I was floored. I wouldn't stand, as it is not our national anthem. My husband was afraid I was going to get lynched.

[How about if we play the DUmmie anthem... "They're Coming To Take Me Away!"]

I share your creep-itude. I wish more people truly understood the difference between patriotism and nationalism. Or jingoism.

[USA! USA! USA! Thus began the Third American Empire.

Was this a national/regional chain, or a private garage? That would have given me the creeps, too. Good for you for speaking out.

[So you got the creeps every day in school when they played the national anthem?]

I'll bet you're not the only one who didn't like being assaulted by the loud music. Anybody trying to have a conversation or who was making a phone call would be annoyed, I would think.

[FUnnie how you complain about the national anthem but not about loud rap music full of N-words and F-words. That stuff assaults my ears almost daily.]

Smart business people stay out of politics...

[Only a DUmmie could see playing the national anthem as being politically partisan.]

I don't think you should have voiced your complaint. They probably just think you're a jerk, now.

[Along with the thousands of DUFU readers who think the same thing.]

It wasn't a car wash on a military base, was it?You get treated to the tune twice a day, when the flag goes up, and when it comes down--they DO give you a warning, though, so you can run for cover and not get stuck standing and saluting in a parking lot halfway to your car....

[WARNING! WARNING! Your liberal ears are about to be subjected to the national anthem! All DUmmies are advised to enter protective shelters until the cessation of this song!]

I'm tired of war-mongering, and that song is a celebration of a moment in war.

[It celebrates the moment when the war-mongering fascists in Ft. McHenry withstood a British bombardment.]

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Have you ever been at the beach and seen a really hot looking chick? Most likely all you will end up doing is just stare at her, drooling like an idiot. If you try to talk to her you will probably embarrass yourself with your clumsy pickup lines. Well, GOOD NEWS! I now have a product guaranteed to make it EASY to pick up lots of hot looking women at the beach. It is a product I have been using myself and fully endorse: the amazing HELICOPTER KITE. This helicopter kite flies like a helicopter. You can make it go hundreds of feet into the air or hover it just a couple of feet off the ground. The propellor rotation is done entirely by windpower. So how does this help you pick up chicks? Simple. Just hover this helicopter kite a few feet off the ground near the hot beach chick of your choice. In most cases they will be overcome with curiosity and come over to YOU to ask about it. I've run a little experiment on this and it works on about 75% of the women (catch and release in my case since I'm married). My advice is to keep the conversation initially focused on the helicopter kite until you can later make a sneaky segue into asking her out for dinner. From that point on, you're on your own. Please check out the VIDEO of the INCREDIBLE helicopter kite. Not only was the helicopter kite aerodynamically designed but it is also MADE IN THE USA! So feel good about purchasing an AMERICAN MADE toy which makes the perfect method for vastly enhancing your social life. The helicopter kites have a LIFETIME warranty so all defective or broken parts will be replaced. Your purchase of the helicopter kite will not only provide you with lots of hot dates but it will also help keep the DUmmie FUnnies going. So take a look at the VIDEO and be AMAZED! Remember, those hot beach chicks are waiting!

p.s. Check out what one of our happy customers had to SAY about the amazing helicopter kite.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

"Face reality, people. centrism is the path to DEFEAT!"

It is well known that the leftwing NUtroots are now shaping Democrat policy. What is not as well known is that it will now be difficult for any Democratchik candidate in the future to temporarily mainstream themselves in the general election thanks to those same NUtroots. If any of them should try the usual phony mainstreaming routine, the NUtroots will be sure to undermine them. We can see this attitude in this DUmmie THREAD titled, "Face reality, people. centrism is the path to DEFEAT!" That's right DUmmies, loudly proclaim your inner Bolshevik. That is sure to go over well with the voters. So let us now watch the DUmmies outline their plan for self-defeat in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, encouraging the DUmmies to carefully follow this plan, is in the [brackets]:

Face reality, people. centrism is the path to DEFEAT!

[Face that ALTERNATE reality!]

There IS no "middle of the road" anymore. There's US and there's THEM. That's all there is.

[No nuance here.]

There are MORE of us then there are of THEM. We're the Silenced Majority, the Rainbow Majority, and the Global People's Majority.

[More of you? Now I know you are in the Alternate Reality.]

If we nominate a candidate who mobilizes that majority, WE WIN!

[The Pink Sapphire has a head start in mobilizing that Rainbow "Majority.]

If we nominate another "careful" "statesmanlike" "measured" "nuanced" candidate, WE LOSE.

[May I have a front row seat to watch your head explode when you nominate Hillary?]

We need to have strong progressive ideals, a coordinated strategy, and the GUTS to defend our party AND ITS VALUES!

We win if we start the fire, if we excite the nation. We DON'T win by fixating on sounding bland so big donors write us big checks to our losing centrist presidential ticket has luxurious offices in D.C.

[Hillary has luxurious offices in D.C.]

It has to be grass-roots, run from the bottom up, and it has to have drama and power. Bland and "moderate" don't cut it and will never cut it again. 2000 and 2004 proved that for all eternity.

[Bottom up? Are you sure you aren't Ben Burch, DUmmie Ken Burch?]

Let's organize. Let's mobilize. Let's galvanize. Let's WIN!

[DUAC! DUAC!]

Only a progressive and uncompromised party can do that.

[Spaketh La Pasionaria of the Pink Sapphire Salon, Ken/Ben Burch.]

With the people, victory!

With the Beltway, defeat.

Are we clear on that now?

[I'm clear that DUmmie Ken Burch has mind melded with Ben Burch's talleywhacker. And now on to the other DUmmie comments...]

Just as an example, polls consistently show single-payer health coverage the most popular option, yet non of our party's candidates will dare to remove the insurance industry's holy profit.

The thing that will save this country from Germany's fate is a strong populist movement NOW. We have to take our power back from the PARASITIC CORPORATE PREDATORS and return the power of the government to the people NOW.

[Is that you, Hugo Chavez?]

Sometimes You gotta be confident in your own right to draw and demand sane social boundaries.And be brave enough to defend and to reinforce them, to protect the social contract that makes living together as people on a planet possible at all.And do whatever it takes.Even if it means being"radical".Sometimes you got to just hit the bully boys back where it hurts the most to make them stop their tyranny and mind games that are tearing up the constitution and undermining every noble ideal that has inspired human beings to desire to be fair and decent in this world to each other.

[Posted the DUmmie with the pizza stains running down his T-shirt from a dark corner of Mommie's basement.]

it's easy to control america -- sell them beer, tv, and a sofa, some folksie pride/jingoism, and a belief in soporific optimism and the populace will eat out of your hand. they'll even tolerate just about all the beatings you can dish out.

[We're just a bunch of mind numbed robots waiting to be jerked by the DUmmie chain.]

DU is a great watering hole and a place to run ideas up the flagpole, but the real action is with our neighbors and politicians. Use them or lose them.

[Then lose them since all this is nothing but DUmmies screeching at other DUmmies.]

THE RIGHT IS MADE UP OF A GANG OF WHINNING SOCIOPATHS. THEY NEVER HAVE A NEW IDEA AND THEY TRY TO SABOUTAGE COMPROMISE.

[Sayeth the DUmmie watching his own projection in the mirror.]

In any case, it has to have better results than our usual approach of surrender and shame and treating progressive values like they're the political version of kiddie porn.

So how do you explain Kucinich's lack of success as a national candidate?

[Looking like an Evil Elf and having a wife with a pierced tongue doesn't exactly help either.]

I love a good rallying cry. You're right. Now what? Saying we need a plan, leadership, organization, etc., reminds me of a saying I once heard. "If we had ham, we could have ham and eggs, if we had eggs."

[A more appropriate saying for you, Pitt, would be, "If we had rum, we could have rum and coke, if we had coke."]

I worked for Kucinich, worked for PDA, worked within and for several progressive campaigns, and I can tell you one absolute and axiomatic truth, a truth that every progressive politician knows and endures and copes with.

[You worked for Kucinich, Will, until you got fired for stabbing the Evil Elf in the back by secretely feeding campaign documents to the Kerry people.]

The Left is filled to bursting with passionate, informed, patriotic people who want to make change. We are short on passionate people who build lists and organize campaigns.

[Posted Pied Piper Pitt painfully pleading por political position.]

The Right is filled with people who know how to make voter lists, how to canvass an entire city, how to get mailing systems going, how to build phone banks, how to build lists of numbers for the phone banks, how to organize carpools for voters who need assistance reaching the polls...organization is to victory as water is to life.

[The Right is filled with people who don't need to take a strong hit on the bong pipe after a couple of minutes of real work.]

The passion and shouting and anger and emotion is the fun part. We have barrels of that.

[You have beer barrels of that, Will.]

When we get the organizers, we'll be in business.

[Tell them Willie Boy was here, and he WANTS to be an organizer.]

Until we can get those organizers into an organized organization, all we do mostly is shout.

[So form an Organized Organizers Organization.]

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Have you ever been at the beach and seen a really hot looking chick? Most likely all you will end up doing is just stare at her, drooling like an idiot. If you try to talk to her you will probably embarrass yourself with your clumsy pickup lines. Well, GOOD NEWS! I now have a product guaranteed to make it EASY to pick up lots of hot looking women at the beach. It is a product I have been using myself and fully endorse: the amazing HELICOPTER KITE. This helicopter kite flies like a helicopter. You can make it go hundreds of feet into the air or hover it just a couple of feet off the ground. The propellor rotation is done entirely by windpower. So how does this help you pick up chicks? Simple. Just hover this helicopter kite a few feet off the ground near the hot beach chick of your choice. In most cases they will be overcome with curiosity and come over to YOU to ask about it. I've run a little experiment on this and it works on about 75% of the women (catch and release in my case since I'm married). My advice is to keep the conversation initially focused on the helicopter kite until you can later make a sneaky segue into asking her out for dinner. From that point on, you're on your own. Please check out the VIDEO of the INCREDIBLE helicopter kite. Not only was the helicopter kite aerodynamically designed but it is also MADE IN THE USA! So feel good about purchasing an AMERICAN MADE toy which makes the perfect method for vastly enhancing your social life. The helicopter kites have a LIFETIME warranty so all defective or broken parts will be replaced. Your purchase of the helicopter kite will not only provide you with lots of hot dates but it will also help keep the DUmmie FUnnies going. So take a look at the VIDEO and be AMAZED! Remember, those hot beach chicks are waiting!

p.s. Check out what one of our happy customers had to SAY about the amazing helicopter kite.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

"Want storm info? Fire gasbag Limbaugh, WIOD told"

Great going, Miami Herald. There's a really "unbiased" article title for you, Want storm info? Fire gasbag Limbaugh, WIOD told. This is why I am using the "unbiased" Time magazine cover photo above of a sinister looking Rush Limbaugh with smoke curling up (photoshopped?) over his face asking, "Is Rush Limbaugh Good For America?" And in case the there were any completely CLUELESS readers out there, Time conveniently tells you what they think the answer should be with this addition to the title: "Talk radio is only the beginning. Electronic populism threatens to short-circuit representative democracy." Well, I have a personal subtext I would love to put on this Herald story, "Is Rick Hirsch the most INCOMPETENT online newspaper editor in the world?" It was a little over year ago that I sent an e-mail to the then Miami Herald editor and publisher, Tom Fiedler, about an idea I had about how to increase the readership of the Herald online edition. So why would conservative me want to help a far left newspaper like the Herald? Call it nostalgia. When I was a kid in Miami, I used to love the Herald (way more unbiased back then) especially the sharp color photos on the front of its sports section which at the time were much better than most newspapers. Also the Herald had a very unique look back then which was completely destroyed by someone they actually paid big bucks to in order to redo the style in an incredibly bland matter. Getting back to Fiedler, he replied to my e-mail very quicly and was very interested in my idea. Unfortunately, he kicked the idea over to the Herald online editor, Rick Hirsch, who proceeded to sit on it, afraid to take any action. Why? Because as Hirsch told me on the phone, he didn't have the "resources" to undertake the project even though a college intern working there for nothing could have easily set the whole thing up within a day or two. What was really worrying Hirsch, I suspect, was the fear of rocking the boat. I even explained to Hirsch that the project I had in mind could have been done on a limited experimental basis but he had his mind set. NO changes and since then the Herald's circulation continues to tank. Therefore, I am now enjoying the opportunity of DUFUing the leftwing comments about this Herald article about the idiotic censorship of Rush by the Broward County Commission. So let us now read the Herald article and looney left comments in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, giving a shoutout to the DO-NOTHING Rick Hirsch, is in the [brackets]:

Want storm info? Fire gasbag Limbaugh, WIOD told

[Want competent online editor? Fire lazy Hirsch, Herald told.]

If it truly wants to be Broward County's official hurricane radio station, here's what WIOD (610 AM) needs to do:

Fire Rush Limbaugh.

At least that's the stand taken by Commissioner Stacy Ritter, who was able to prevent the county from renewing its hurricane information partnership with WIOD because the station carries the conservative icon's syndicated show.

[Punish millions of people in South Florida by keeping hurricane information from them because Stacy Ritter suffers from severe RDS --- Rush Derangement Syndrome.]

Ritter pointed out that the majority of the nine county commissioners -- all of whom are Democrats -- are at the opposite end of the political spectrum from Limbaugh and other conservative hosts carried by WIOD.

[And that somehow justifies Broward government censorship.]

"We don't have to do business with them," Ritter declared.

[We don't have to treat you as sane," Li'l Beaver declared.]

...Commissioners are slated to discuss the item again on Tuesday.

[So the entire nation can laugh at them. And now to hear from the Leftwing bozos who agree with RDS Ritter...]

This is absurd. The point of using the radio station is that it has the greatest reach. Just because "the commissioners" may or may not agree with a particular shows content is irrelevant to its usefulness in an emergency situation.

[Absurd. Stand by and watch how many loons agree with RDS Ritter.]

rush sucks

Rush Limbaugh is a drug-using neocon.

[Great "arguments" there.]

Does anyone even listen to that idiot anymore? His points of view over the last 6 years have proven to be so erroneous and out of the mainstream I can't imagine he has an audience left. The commission shouldn't worry about it- nobody cares about the pill poppin tub of lard who can't get an erection.

[You want that Rush have as "large" an audience as Al Franken whose over-inflated salary stolen from the Boys and Girls Club eventually ran out?]

Given the fact that Broward County is a predominantly Democratic County wouldn't it make more sense to use a more liberal station for it's emergency broadcasting - AM940 comes to mind as the majority of the people I know that live and work in Broward and listen to talk radio listen to 940. Isn't the idea of using an "official station" to get the word out to the most people not a select few?

[Since WIOD has the strongest signal in South Florida, it is heard by the most people.]

It's time the Herald showed some spine and came to the aid of WIOD if only for the sake that they are also in the journalism field. But I'm not holding my breath.

[Keep holding your breath. The Herald is being run by either leftwing loons and/or lazy careerist losers like Rick Hirsch.]

Obviously some of you cannot read or missed the point enirely. She does not wish to censor Mr. Fat Idiot, she is merely proposing the county use another station. How does that equate to censorship???? Thats called ending a contract not censorship.

[Obviously you cannot read or missed the point entirely where RDS Ritter SPECIFICALLY mentioned Rush Limbaugh as the reason for not renewing the contract.]

National treasure?! He is a bigot and a closed minded white man and this is coming from a white male. He is the epitome of hate. This isn't censorship as much as it is common sense. Not everybody agrees with his hate mongering. Why have an official emergency communications outlet if people aren't tune into it because they do not agree with one of its hosts.

[Censorship redefined as "common sense" by an American Chavista.]

No need to subsidize hate speech. Rush is a tool of the neocons. Why put your country's security and safety in the hands of those who don't believe in our constituional form of government? Why would you want to support someone who supports Rush's hate speech?

[And of course, this loon won't be able to cite a single example of "hate speech" by Rush since he never listens to him.]

Rush Limbaugh is a racist, propoganda pushing fool who shares responsibility with the Bush administration for the sad state of our nation. Kudos to Stacy Ritter, for having principles and sticking up for the citizens of Florida, the state I love and live in.

[Kudos to RDS Ritter for practicing censorship.]

Let's Rush to Dump Limbaugh!

[Is that you, Stacy Ritter?]

Rush Limbaugh is a sexist and racist neocon pig. I refuse to listen to WIOD.

[So listen the leftwing AM 940 which is also owned by Clear Channel as is WIOD.]

If any human being deserved a beat-down its that piece of crap coward Rush Limbaugh.

[Beating down Rush Limbaugh by DENYING hurricane info to millions of listeners? Only in the Leftwing Alternate Universe.]

Only Republicans would allow a white-conservative-drug-addict to remain on the radio spewing their Republican-right-wing-racist views, thus indoctrinating a new generation of Republican Bigots.

[Is that you, RDS Ritter?]

I wish WJNO would get rid of him too, a digusting and vile individual..

[Is that you, Hugo Chavez?]

RUSH IS NO DIFFERENT THAN THE KKK. HIS VOICE SHOULD NOT BE HEARD ON OUR AIRWAVES. IF REPUBLICANS STILL WANT TO HEAR HIM THEY SHOULD HAVE TO PAY TO LISTEN TO HIM ON SATELLITE RADIO OR SOMETHING. BUT NOT ON THE PUBLIC AIRWAVES.

[Thanx for letting us see that the Left really wants to BAN Rush from the airwaves. That is the REAL goal of trying to bring back the "Fairness Doctrine.]

I agree. Hurricane information shouldn't have anything to do with party affiliation, but this guy is not even a REAL republican! He is a neo-con Bush crony who contributes to this administrations use of fear on our people. I support anyone who will get this idiot of the air. And for the record, I am not a Democrat.

[Correct. You are a Socialist which still means you are a Democrat.]

Good to see Broward officials standing up to corporate radio and the right wing noise machine. Schnitt's and Rush's obnoxious responses prove Ritter's point. WLRN public radio would have no trouble covering Broward County. Don't go near WFTL, it's another right wing flamethrower.

[Censor ALL conservative radio!]

I couldn't agree more with Commissioner Ritter; Limbaugh and the others that host on 610 radio tend to be narrow-minded sectarians. They cater to other narrow-minded inviduals and communities that have a strangle hold on this part of Florida. They cloak their racism, prejudices and chavanisms in candy-coated comments, but in spite of their efforts it's clear who they are and what they stand for. So, you go commissioner!

[You go commissioner! Straight to Hugo's Palace of Information.]

WooHoo! Boycott Rush!!!!!!!!!!!

[WooHoo! Boycott Free Speech!!!!!!!!]

WIOD talks about the need of saving lives during a hurricane or other emergency, but do they care when they polarized the community?

[A liberal always defines contrary viewpoints as "polarizing."]

i cannot stand Rush. He is a one sided individual. Good, drop him!

[Is that you, RDS Ritter?]

Station with biggest audience should get the cake.

[That makes it WIOD.]

I agree whole heartedly with this decision. This is just a ploy by the Republicans to spread their propaganda. I applaud her for taking this stance against the most corrupt party, and worst president in history!!! No PROPAGANDA for you Republicans!!!

[No FREE SPEECH for you EVIL rightwing Republicans!!!]

HOORAY FOR STACY!!!!! I listened to WIOD when hurricane Wilma came thru Hollywood. The right wing announcers were still spewing their crap and I couldn't stand to listen to it anymore.

[Yeah. A hidden rightwing message so carefully concealed in all that hurricane information that only a certified loon could detect it.]

Monday, June 11, 2007

"What would you do if you discovered your dog was racist?"

Sometimes when wandering thru the many DUmmieland threads I come upon a pure comedy nugget that I know will become an INSTANT classic just from its title alone. Such was the case with this DUmmie THREAD hilariously titled, "What would you do if you discovered your dog was racist?" The FUnniest thing is that both the original post and many of the replies are dead serious. So let us now enjoy the comedic entertainment of DUmmies worried about their racist dogs in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, suspecting that a cat he once owned of also being a racist, is in the [brackets]:

What would you do if you discovered your dog was racist?

[Teach him to be more tolerant of French Poodles.]

Say you got a new dog from the kennel, spent several months bonding with it, only to discover he only liked you because you were white? (or whatever)

[The Burch Terrier will bite you on the butt if he thinks you're Greek.]

Would you take the time and effort to re-program whatever conditioning his Nazi ex-owner ingrained in him, or would you chuck the bigoted bowser out on his tailfeathers?

[Have the ACLU put the racist dog to sleep.]

Just wondering.

[Just wondering where DUmmie Merrick gets these bizarre thoughts from. And now to hear from the other DUmmies pondering on the all important topic of racist dogs.]

Expose him to the race he fears.

[So would a racist dog who doesn't like Indians bark: "Bow-wow! Pow-wow?]

I did have that problem with a dog at one time. So I invited my black friends over frequently, to let the dog know that there was nothing to fear or be defensive about.

[Unfortunately your black friends learned to fear your NUttiness.]

The father of one of my students was amazing, too. When he first came to the door, and the dog barked at him, he didn't do anything but give her this LOOK. She put her tail between her legs, then she lied down and rolled onto her back, totally submissive. I can't explain what happened...It truly was phenomenal.

[It's all part of the Barbara Woodhouse canine tolerance training with the chain.]

I had one that was racist. I got him when a black lady, his former owner, sold him to me, but he seemed to really really hate black children. He didn't react toward adults of any color or white children at all, but he seemed to really hate black children, especially young black boys.

It went away over his lifetime though. I had enough different types of friends over some with children, some without, all different races. He eventually played with black children, but he grew a strong distaste for country music as a pup and that never went away. He would growl and grumble anytime any country music was played on television. I did to. It was a running family joke with country music. "Like like Benson." Good dog.

[My dog would foam at the mouth whenever she heard Judy Garland music. The dog must have suffered from homophobia.]

the trick is to not freak out. If you freak out(get nervous, start to pull them away, or hold on to their leash tighter) everytime they act aggressive towards someone of a particular race, it will reinforce the behavior. Most of these "racist" dogs weren't actively trained to be racist, they're just not used to interacting with people who look a certain way. It usually goes away with exposure.

[So we should walk our dogs in the 'hood to get rid of those racist tendencies?]

For example, my old boss's dog was notoriously racist, but when he was off leash and just hanging out in the office, he came over to sleep by my feet. A large part of his "racist" behavior, was really just his response to the tension people had when walking him, because they were told he was racist and had to be kept away from certain people. Whatever fear of new people he'd had when he was first adopted had gone away, but nobody had noticed.

Wow, I had no idea that some dogs are racist. Our dog doesn't seem to discriminate against people on the basis of race or ethnicity, but some people he likes right away and others he never likes. We're not sure why he likes some people and not others, because we haven't found a common thread amongst them.

[The common thread is that your dog doesn't descriminate based on ethnicity but has instead learned to hate Lutherans. Religious bigotry is the common thread there.]

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About Me

I am a 30,000 year old reincarnated being who materializes once every 5000 years in a Las Vegas hotel suite. My greatest goal in my eternal life is to spend 6 months on a small tropical island with Mary Matalin doing nothing but pitching a DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert) deal with her. If you happen to be Mary Matalin, please contact me at:
pjcomix@gmail.com. If you are anybody else, you can contact me there too. Remember, if you are a book publisher, please feel free to embarrass me with an extravagant book advance.