Date: Fri, Aug 30, 2013 at 4:20 AM
Subject: An Open Letter to the Occupants of Mercer
#[redacted]
To: Law School Exchange

It is now 4:20 a.m. on a Friday morning. You got back from what
I assume was Bar Review about a half-hour ago, at which point
we embarked on a musical journey through some of the worst
drunken music taste and singing abilities this unfortunate soul
has had the misfortune of enduring. At first I assumed it was
only an after-party, which for a while progressed to karaoke,
the most mortal of sins, but now based on the cacophony and
number of sources of noise I’m convinced you just have a 10
piece drum set and your friends all brought amps over for band
practice. This was not my first route. I spent 5 minutes
standing outside your door knocking, [to] no avail. I was just
down at the front desk telling him of my strife, and apparently
the best he could do was send a porter when one became
available. That was 15 minutes ago now. Since I’m clearly not
getting to sleep any time before you, I figure that my best
option to round out the night was a good-old-fashioned public
[shaming].

I really didn’t want to do this, but seriously. I knocked
really loudly, and for a long time. And you’re just being the
most phenomenally outrageous a**holes right now. So f**k you,
sir.

Your music is awful. Whatever frat house your deficiently
developed super-senior ass was finally kicked out of after
university policy mandated you leave clearly had the right
idea, and if it were up to me I would do the same.
Unfortunately you apparently somehow bought your way into
another 3 years at NYU, where apparently you were also able to
pick up some expensive speakers, much to my and the building’s
chagrin. In all of our interests of peaceful coexistence,
sleep, and avoiding frivolous litigation, I implore you: shut
the f**k up.