We’ve read the blurb: staycations are harder, better, faster, stronger and most of all cheaper than going abroad for your much-awaited holiday.

But we’re not convinced. Have you looked out the window? British holiday companies might be trying to persuade us we’ll be better off staying at home – but here’s why we think the staycation is well and truly over.

1. It’s not a holiday

Let us all be honest here. We know the thought of saving money is appealing – but is waking up in your own bed, surrounded by your home responsibilities, like utility bills, washing up and the garage to clean out, actually a holiday? We like switching off, not having more time on our hands to confront chores.

2. You might actually end up spending more than you thought

…because you’ll keep rationalising your spending.’ Well, I saved money on the flight.’ ‘If I were in Spain, I’d be paying way more for tapas, so we can totally go to that fancy Italian twice in one day. ”I didn’t pay for a hotel, so I can buy this totally unnecessary football table that I’ll use once.’ By the time your ‘holiday’ is over, you may have blown all the money you could have spent on sipping mojitos on an Italian beach and, let’s face it, that would be more enjoyable than visiting your local for the fourth time that week.

3. The weather

Siri might tell you it’s going to be sunny in England next week, but it’s not.Sure, there’s no guarantee it’ll be sunny in Turkey, or Malaga, or Amsterdam either – but there’s a much higher chance you’ll catch some rays, instead of sitting miserably in your onesie while the rain trickles down your window.

4. Work, work, work

Just wait till you see the glint in your boss’ eye when you till him or her that you’re not jetting off to some exotic location, but you’re staying put in your own home. You’ll be back at your desk by Tuesday for an ’emergency meeting’, we guarantee.

5. You can’t switch off

The best part about a holiday for me is scraping my hair into a bun, wearing flip flops for every single outing I make and generally looking a right mess. Are you really going to confront your neighbours with a stained T-shirt and toothpaste round your mouth, citing ‘stay-cation’ as an excuse?

6. Technology

Once upon a time, pre-Microsoft, maybe staying at home would have felt like a holiday. But your buzzing phone, tempting Facebook and the lure of work emails will make you feel a slave in your own home. You might complain about the lack of wifi at the French hotel you usually stay in, but at least when you’re abroad you don’t feel guilty about ignoring everyone in the world apart from your holiday partner.

7. You might end up even more exhausted than when you started

Because you’re staying home, you’ve got to make the most of your time off, right? So you book yourself in for spa days, a round of golf, museum trips, the theatre and plenty of shopping trips. By the end of it, you’re broke, tired and have realised you’re crap at golf.

8. You end up doing all the things you put off

Since when were holidays about trailing round Ikea looking for the bedside table you meant to buy three years ago? You definitely wouldn’t be doing this if you were in Greece, but you feel too guilty having a day off and not getting round to these boring tasks.

9. It’s not as exciting as going abroad

You’re home, so realistically you’re not going to have the sort of exciting, strange, weird and wonderful experience you expect from a holiday where your inhibitions are gone, whether that’s discovering a new favourite drink, experiencing a brief and intense fling or making a new best friend because you put your towels next to each other on the beach.

10. It’s just not as fun!

We love dear old Blighty – but for a couple of weeks a year, we want out. And the pull of smelly foreign nightclubs, strange words we don’t understand and budget package holidays is just too great – admit it.