Tuesday, 30 June 2015

Custom T-Shirts in 18 Simple Steps

I'm kind of notorious for making things more difficult than they need to be. Case in point, this past weekend I decided I had had enough of wearing my picketing sign and if the strike was going to continue I was just going to make some shirts instead. Seemed simple enough, especially when everyone said things along the line of "Oh yeah you can totally get shirts made really cheaply". Nonsense! Why pay someone to make a shirt quickly and professionally when I can DIY that shit? It's so simple, I'll tell you how!

1. Go in search of printable fabric transfer paper.

2. Only find paper for inkjet printers, when you own a laser printer.

3. Give up on the printable transfer idea.

4. Go to Michaels and grab a random assortment of iron-on letters, paying no attention to what letters you might need.

5. Buy an assortment of tank tops.

6. Buy an iron.

7. Construct a makeshift ironing board on your living room floor.

8. Cut up the letters and realize you don't really have enough to make the phrases you want.

9. Begin to combine various sizes and flip letters upside down to try and make the phrases you want.

10. Realize that the shirts are kind of going to look like ransom notes, but be cool with it.

11. Begin the process of ironing the letters on.

12. Realize that you are either not following the directions correctly or the letters are faulty.

13. Give up on the letters entirely and just take a Sharpie to a white tank.

14. Try a metallic Sharpie on a black tank and realize that doesn't work super well.

15. Buy bleach.

16. Use a paintbrush to paint bleach on the black tank.

17. Deem your efforts at least satisfactory and decidedly punk rock.

18. Continue to picket in a lacklustre manner, but now with cool shirts.