Things learned today...

1. It is wise to always know where your cigarette is in relation to your body and whatever it is you are doing. Answering your phone with it in your mouth and accidentally hitting the phone off the lit end, making said end fall into your clevage is seriously not a good thing to have done. It hurts, burns and will leave a mark.

2. When removing a burning ember from within your clothing, it is a good thing not to do it when sitting on your faveourite blanket. Inevitably, a piece of it will scorch your faveourite blanket, making your curse like the dickens.

3. Never, ever let anyone in your family know about points 1 and 2. They will make your life a living hell.

4. It is unwise to try to remove a box of chocolate from a 3 year old's hands. They will scream and it won't be pretty. Even if it was your chocolate in the first place.

5. The bulb in the bathroom light will go out at 1 in the morning when all the shops around are closed and you have a guest staying. Sorry Cousin Brian, but you will have to pee in the dark. Please try and hit the mark.

6. Catwoman, while not the best movie in the world, wasn't actually that bad. I will admit to that in any court of your choosing.

1. Never believe mechanics, especially when they make you order a 300€ wheel hub on the sole basis of "some other guy in a tyre changing place said the wheel hub looked wonky" without bothering to check aforesaid wheel hub.

2. When you go in to have the wheel hub changed and they find out there is nothing wrong with the original one, stand up for yourself when the idiot guy who made you order it without checking says he won't take it back.

3. Never believe mechanics. Especially not when you're unemployed, broke, and it's the middle of the christmas season.

4. Don't even think about going shopping on new year's eve, even if you really don't have anything left to eat in the house. Except cherry liqueur chocolates.

12. Today, apparently, is the day I ruined several peoples New Years resolutions. I learned not to bring in two tins of sweets and chocolates to work. And Hazelnut Whirls hurt when hurled at you by someone who plays camogie.

13. Boss man is still a wanker. Miracles do not happen overnight, nor do they happen over Christmas. Bah. Humbug.

14. Realised why my brother is moving to a different town. He's got a new girlfriend who lives even further away than it. Think he is trying to tell us something but I can't quite put my finger on it.

17. If you leave work for a week and a half...it does build up. And my boss has no problem with approaching me knowing that I have a week and a half worth of work to catch up on, tell me I am now the proud owner of a new project, I'm covering reception while the silly mares go and celebrate someones birthday and would I mind having that report she didn't bother telling me about ready by tomorrow morning.

18. The death stare does not work any more. See Above.

19. Hold a six month old baby for any longer than five minutes and you will be covered in drool. No matter how cute baby is.

20. My car is a heap of shite and people will honk at you if your car decides to completely lose all power in the middle of a junction. It is also impossible to get a reliable garage to work on your car directly after New Year.

Number 1 for today: Youth Hostels. It's all in the name. If you're not a Youth, and therefore don't party until 4am, and especially if you have to get up and go to a job interview the next day, stay away even if it is the only accomodation you can afford in the whole city.

2. Italians suck, especially when drunk at 4am when you're trying to sleep

No matter how bad your most comfortable shoes look, if you have to run around a city all day between interviews, go with the comfy shoes, or your feet will wait until you're asleep and then strangle you.

No matter how bad your most comfortable shoes look, if you have to run around a city all day between interviews, go with the comfy shoes, or your feet will wait until you're asleep and then strangle you.

QWERTY sucks.

How true, how true! The worst is when you end up cutting both your ankles and your toes on them. I hope the interviews become worth it!

Rewr, Pigs are very aerodynamic animals. I thought everyone knew that

On a side note, I'm smoking again and I just had a Chinese. I have re-learned that New Years Resolutions do not last

Well no wonder. The Chinese are not known for their curing power of addictions, especially smoking being such prodigious smokers themselves. Having a Chinese likely got you a hit of nicotine that reignited your brain to its craving and said "smoke a cigarette NOW!"

Well no wonder. The Chinese are not known for their curing power of addictions, especially smoking being such prodigious smokers themselves. Having a Chinese likely got you a hit of nicotine that reignited your brain to its craving and said "smoke a cigarette NOW!"

1. Do not spend your entire Holiday break with Boyfriends 15y.o. daughter who hates your guts.
2. Do not spend any part of said Holiday break volunteering to do projects with above.
3. Do not spend or waist time on boyfriends 11y.o. son who refuses to learn to read.

Just had to rescue said plants from being crushed, dragged wheelie bin to other side of garden, strategically placed to fall on path. Yeah right - that is the plan.
What will probably happen is that during the night the two bins will have travelled the width of the garden , and have leaped upon defenceless plants, breaking pots in process.

What will probably happen is that during the night the two bins will have travelled the width of the garden , and have leaped upon defenceless plants, breaking pots in process.

Mine, with four large rocks on the top to stop everything blowing away, managed to make it's way down the garden path, through the open gate, turn without tipping and move about nine feet down the path until it came to rest against a wall. And it did all that without falling over or spilling everything.

1. I have learned today that a 2 hour car journey in a Ford Fiesta with five grown & some overweight adults is not fun. Nor is the return journey. And for some god awful reason, I always end up having to sit in the middle of the back seat. I hate that place.

2. My cousin's new baby Lily is a cutie-pie.

3. Don't let your aunt declare that a certain rugby player who is on screen is a load of crap, out loud, in the middle of a crowded pub...because that player's mother just might be sitting beside you...:shock: Auntie Emily, insert foot here...

Mine, with four large rocks on the top to stop everything blowing away, managed to make it's way down the garden path, through the open gate, turn without tipping and move about nine feet down the path until it came to rest against a wall. And it did all that without falling over or spilling everything.

It was down again within 10 minutes! Its due to the way my house sits in relation to wind direction - had a wall built as I was fed up having to replace the fence!

1. I have learned today that a 2 hour car journey in a Ford Fiesta with five grown & some overweight adults is not fun. Nor is the return journey. And for some god awful reason, I always end up having to sit in the middle of the back seat. I hate that place.

Unwritten rule - whomever has the smallest arse, sits in the middle...:lol:

Used to be me, till I grew bigger than mum (not hard - she's a size 8 (6 US).

3. Don't let your aunt declare that a certain rugby player who is on screen is a load of crap, out loud, in the middle of a crowded pub...because that player's mother just might be sitting beside you...:shock: Auntie Emily, insert foot here...

There's no telling some folk...

Hope you escaped unscathed.

My lesson today, it's one that I will not get it through my thick head... well I tend to ignore on occasion..

Don't tell dad what your plans are until the last possible moment...

Had my new tent delivered to mum and dads:

D: Not very big...

R: It sleeps 3, its not meant to be for big camping trips - just sleeping in.

D: There's no room for much else. If you were 6 ft you could have a problem.... We've still got the old camping stove - 2 rings and a grill, there's some gas too, not sure how much. No where to hang anything. Not much room once you've got your stuff in. You'll need a better mattress than that...

R: Mum said. Think we might have to replace the rubber hose.

D: Should be okay.

R: When were you last camping? 20 years isn't it? I'll think I'll get a new one.

D: you could take the this, that & the next thing... You're going by car, you could take quite a bit...

R: (Thinking ye olde kitchen sink joke) I'm away on the Friday and back on the Monday - I won't need much.

I have lots of room in my house (Insert crap here...quite literally. Especially if they have a key to your home)

Um....anything that they can have an opinion on. I love my dad to pieces, but yes dad, there are some occasions when I do know what to do. You brought me up, I've spent the last 26 years listening to you and hearing you talk about fixing things. If I want your opinion I would add "What do you think I should do" at the end of those sentences.

Also, never say "I know, Dad" That leaves you open for a whole 'nuther argument! (By the way, the best retort to the counter strike from Dad which is "You know everything, then, do you?" is "Yes, actually, I do." It's very hard for them to come back with anything after that.:smile: Oh yea, and remember, once finished saying that, duck. Really, really fast. Or run. Whichever floats your boat...

Alas, I feel sorry for me dad sometimes - he has to put up with me at times, and mum almost all the time. Sometimes he just wants a natter & I oblige - yup big softie really!

I have had my revenge, and no doubt will again.

My favourite a few years back, after a gruelling morning of conversation with dad, I went back (had to drop mum off), and asked him a question which I knew he would not know. Can't even remember the question now. But when he said 'Why are you asking me? I don't know.' I said 'but you're my dad you know everything...'

The look on his face was priceless. I left pretty sharply.

No doubt in a few months some thing else will be said, and like a dutiful daughter I will listen... uh huh, yeah, oh really...

Also, never say "I know, Dad" That leaves you open for a whole 'nuther argument! (By the way, the best retort to the counter strike from Dad which is "You know everything, then, do you?" is "Yes, actually, I do." It's very hard for them to come back with anything after that.:smile: Oh yea, and remember, once finished saying that, duck. Really, really fast. Or run. Whichever floats your boat...

Unless he comes back with 'you take after me...':lol:

The only time it is safe to 'I know' is to follow it up with 'you've told me that before'. Er will revise that to only safe if you haven't done what he advised you against doing. Just love those 'I told you so' lectures, along with 'you never listen to me'. Saying that 'I do listen I just decided to do my own thing..' never washes. No doubt should I have kids I'll just do similar things too, and continue the vicious circle...

Today i learned that washing up multiplies. It doesn't matter how much you do, you end up looking like a comedy sketch or Mary Poppins with her carpet bag cos you just can't stop taking stuff out of the soapy water. I swear if i had fallen in i would have drowned.....and i still have some left to do before Dave comes in from work!

Today i learned that washing up multiplies. It doesn't matter how much you do, you end up looking like a comedy sketch or Mary Poppins with her carpet bag cos you just can't stop taking stuff out of the soapy water. I swear if i had fallen in i would have drowned.....and i still have some left to do before Dave comes in from work!

That works for clothes washing too. You might have only worn two pairs of socks, but somehow, you end up putting eight into the machine. Same goes for Undies and bras.

1. Today I learned that saying 'I am a fasting diabetic' when you are waiting to have blood tests taken, does not work as it should. Theoretically, according to all the doctors and nurses I've talked to, it should lump me up to the top of the queue. Instead, it took well over an hour. And I was the only one to say I was a diabetic, and got there a good hour before the damned place opened! Had to have a rotten hospital sandwich the moment I got out of there. Yeach!

Today I learned just how messy feeding an 8month old boy yoghurt can be. And to wear old clothes when doing so.

I learned that said 8 month old can build up one heck of a lot of speed in a walker. And also that one's ankles are quite vulnerable to attack from an 8 month old boy in a walker. It also enables him to be able to reach a dryer and turn it off, open the door & take all the contents out (with yoghurty hands)

I also learned yet another reason for me not to like yoghurt.

I learned that my mom is getting evil in her old age. Instead of baking / cooking with sugar, she is using sweeteners. And not telling my father. heh heh heh. He hasn't worked it out yet :smile:

Yesterday I learned that when you mean to throw out old trainers, do so. Do not leave them under the bed for a couple of months until you completely forget why you left them there in the first place, take them out and wear them on an hour long walk so that half an hour through it you become crippled because they chew your ankles to pieces and leave you limping home almost in tears.

Ah the joys of baby boys... My latest nephew is a formula 1 walker champion, he even does hand-break turns around corners.

Tell your mum to be careful using sweeteners for baking, they are not all adapted to that use, some just lose their sweetening power, others can be actually poisonous (on a low scale, nothing life-threatening that I know, but still...) so make sure she checks the packaging, it should say suitable for baking and the maximum temperature it should be used at.

We should get them together and have a World Walker Championship :lol:

Oh, she's well used to baking with the sweeteners. My uncle was a diabetic all his life, and every time he would come to visit (for several weeks) she'd have to substitute all the sugar in the house for him. He gave her tutorials (which really went down well )

Today I learned that when you go to bed really, really late, your parents will call after mass first thing in the morning and hound you out of bed, give you a lecture on not getting up early and tell you that you have dark circles under your eyes and enquire why. Are you not getting enough sleep?

I learned today that some people would rather be a button pushing monkey than put any thought or effort into what they are actually doing. Which, in turn, causes me more work. *sigh* Thats fine, though. I enjoy using my brain.

I learned last night that my hubby does actually listen to me! (the usual glazed stare I get from him can be a little off putting)

A first: My sister learned that I do get angry. Screaming down the phone at her because of a comment my brother made to her (which was a complete lie) really emphesised my emotional discord. Wank er.

Last night, I learned that the removal of tiles from a bathroom wall can be very painful. Also, I don't stop bleeding as much as I used to. Also cuts on lips bleed a lot more than cuts, lets say, on the neck, knuckle, forearm, the side of the hand...I could go on.

Shops look at you weird if you go in bleeding looking for toilet paper.

When doing DIY always make sure you have a significant amount of medical supplies at hand. Like toilet paper, or any kind of tissue.

Tiles falling on various limbs hurt.

The further up a wall you go in tile removal, the more difficult it is.

The person who put the tiles on my walls needs to be tracked down and killed. Preferably death by a thousand cuts.

The tiles on the wall with the radiator seem to have physically bonded with the wall and any attempt to remove is leading to large holes in said wall along with making me frustrated.

It is going to take me a month to take off the rest of the tiles if it keeps going this way. Shoot me. Shoot me please...

- Ikea is lovely, but in large doses it can be really tiring and stressful.
- Read the instructions properly and you won't have to undo all the stuff you did to correct a mistake you made on the first bit you assembled.
- If you buy a nice big bookcase to house all your many books, check the ceiling in your place is high enough before buying it, assembling it and attempting to put it in place, especially if you're stupidly trying to do this on your own just to impress husband.

And this morning I was reminded of something I do know but it just doesn't seem to make it into my head: shut the f**k up. Seriously. Especially in a meeting when someone asks for a volunteer. Zip it. Really.

1. 8 month old baby Mathew just realised that I have a mole/freckle on my chin. We played the 'touch the mole' game for about five minutes before I realised what he was doing. I thought he just had a fixation with my glasses and wasn't having a good hand-eye coordination day.

2. 8 month old baby's named Mathew, after 10 or so minutes of trying to poke mole/freckle will then try to pick it from your face. Ouch. I can't wait until he realises I have them on my arms too.

Don't worry, Kat - after a few weeks life WILL return to normal. Wii is fiercely addictive, but only for a relatively short period of time :wink: I mean, it got to the point with us that we actually loan the thing to friends and not sweat it if they forget to return it for months.

1. Alcohol rocks. I forget that from time to time, and then I drink a lot so that my head is spinning and I really, really like it.

2. Both my sister and me like my brothers new girlfriend. She's nice and we want to keep her. SHe also has a sense of humour quite like ours and is quite willing to slap himn accross the back of the head 'cos he's made a crude/rude/annoying/stupid/jackassed coment.

3. It is spooky when both my sister and myself both say at the same time in a hushed voice to each other "I like her. Can we keep her?"

4. Cabs never come when they say they will come. 45 minute wait for a ten minute drive is stupid. Especially when tehy've said they'd be there at 10 to 1 and you've already had to wait an hour.

5. Typing while drunk is a long and arduous task. As is spell checking posts. Personally, right now, I couldn't be bothered. It took me three goes to type they'd.

6. I like vodka. I also like diet coke. Together, combined, they make a nice drink. Ice cream shots are also quite tasty. recepie - half a block of ice-cream (flavour of your choice - though raspberry ripple is quite nice) half a bottle of vodka. Blender. SHot glass. Yum. Fat Frogs are also divine.

7..............................there is no seven.

8. No matter how many times you say to a taxi driver that the housing estate is signposted wrong and not to pay any attention to the house numbers, they will always take the wrong frickin' exit. And don't undersatnd the concept of 'drive all the way around until the road stops'.

9. Typing while drunk is a lot easier if you are a touch typist and you close your eyes. Also, the room stops spinning.

10. I'm going to have a hangover tomorrow :sad::smile:

I'm going to go now before I fall asleep on my couch. although it is a very comfortable couch.