Date: Tue, 21 Nov 2000 20:17:44 -0800 (PST)
From: NCfan
Subject: boy-bands/desperate measures 2
Disclaimer: Hey, thanks to all who have emailed me last time. Sorry it
took so long for the 2nd installment of Desperate Measures. Anyone who has
any comments, please feel free to email me at ngclle@yahoo.com
************************
The alarm went off like a siren as I woke up this morning. I cussed.
Where did I get that ancient thing? It's like it's out to seek revenge or
something. Well, I got up and out of bed and from habit, went to the
mirror to sort of admire myself once again. I didn't know how I became so
vain, but I couldn't help myself.
Just when I was about to head into the shower, the phone rang mercilessly.
At first, I pondered just disappointing my caller, but after a few rings, I
decided to answer it.
"Hello?" I greeted, trying not to sound too miserable.
"Ummm, hey," a pretty warm voice called.
Oh no, I thought. One of those leeches of a boyfriend again. I was sort
of expecting Nick, although I don't know why. After his reaction
yesterday, I should have known better than to think that he would call me.
I put on my most emotionless voice. "Excuse me, I don't know you so please
don't try to harass me again." Before my caller-boyfriend was able to
reply, I hung up the phone. I had work to do. I needed time to devise my
plans.
I smiled wickedly to myself. Nick must have blown off some steam by now.
Besides, he's young. Kids these days have pretty poor memory. Plus, they
don't hold on to grudges for long. And since I've known Nick for so long,
I'm not too worried. He hasn't held onto a grudge for more than 2 days.
I jumped in the tub and took a quick bath. Besides, I had to smell good
for day number one of my conquest attempt. Plus, the bath will keep me
awake enough to make wittier remarks in front of my beau. I had to laugh
at myself. Of all people, I never would have thought that one day, I would
court Nick. Maybe because he was always the one that they called the
'virgin' in our group. Well, not anymore, I thought to myself amusedly.
And as for me, I usually go for the ones who are more 'experienced' in such
matters. I hate walking babies through the ritual. Yet oddly, there was
something exotic and enticing about Nick's untampered body. I guess I
found it exhilarating because 'I' was the first for him, kind of like
eating fresh bread rather than day old stale bread. Still, I usually
prefer well-practiced men. But then again, why did I find him so teasingly
fun to be with? Was it really his youthfulness or the innocence, or was
there actually something more? And why am I thinking about this anyways?
Finally, I got dressed. Today, we had an interview with a local radio
station. We were all required to attend regardless of our condition so I
knew to expect him there. I tried to walk myself through the interview.
It sometimes helps me calm down before the actual interview so that I don't
stumble. 'Just go with the flow, Kev,' I said to myself.
******************
We were to meet again for breakfast that morning and then go to the radio
station as a group. As usual, I was the first person in the room waiting
for the rest to come. Like yesterday, I was waiting for one person in
particular. Strangely, I lacked the nervousness today. Rather, I felt
free and loose.
"What's up, cuz?" I heard Brian's angelic voice.
"Can you be any less predictable, Bri?" I greeted with boredom.
"All right, you tell me how I should greet you after I've exhausted every
greeting in the past few years!" Brian demanded vehemently.
I laughed. "Oh come on, cuz, I was just pointing out a little detail."
Brian laughed as well. "Butthead."
"Sleezeball's more like it," I suddenly heard AJ's pompous voice call from
behind the door.
"And good morning to you, Mr. Sunshine," I called out to AJ.
AJ gave me the death stare. "Well, you'd better be nice to me. Some of
your lovers are getting a hold of my cell phone number and if you continue
to be so utterly mean, I'm going to point them to you!"
I backed off immediately. The other Boys knew of my numerous affairs and
seemed to have found blackmailing me pretty amusing. "All right, you win."
"The problem is," Howie suddenly walked in the room, continuing our
conversation, " Kevin, that you need a more permanent relationship.
Otherwise, these men will always continue to harass you like that. You
want me to hook you up with someone really special?"
I rolled my eyes at Howie's suggestion. "No!"
"Oh, come on, don't be so teenage-like. I know the perfect man for you,"
Howie continued to impose himself on me.
"As a matter of fact, I have my eyes set on one person already, and I think
that he's my endpoint. He's the one. I can feel it," I said proudly.
This got the other three excited. "Who?" Brian asked, eager to know.
"Yeah, who?" AJ added. "Ya know, we always wondered what kind of a man
would make you settled enough to stop all these romantic charades of
yours."
"Besides, I pity the man you choose. He'll have to put up with your
endless affairs, sit at home and wait for you while you go out with other
men." Howie shook his head. "This man must be pretty generous!"
I smiled smugly. "You'll see."
Now the three of them were really curious. I love making people squirm
like those three at this moment. I was about to add to my statement when
suddenly, 'he' walked into the room.
Before I knew it, I began to stare, breathless. Why was this happening? I
couldn't help it, though. I looked at him intently. He was wearing a
tight chest hugging sleeveless black T-shirt and jeans that outlined the
rest of his body beautifully.
I suddenly felt an elbow jabbing my sides. I turned to see Brian with this
strange look on his face. Then, 'his' footsteps drew my attention back to
him.
"Hey Nick, see if you can get Kevin here to tell us the name of his new
crush!" AJ had to cry out.
I quickly looked to Nick, quite shocked that there was a slight smile on
his face, as if nothing had happened between us. He looked at me intently.
His eyes were big and pretty hypnotizing. And then, once again, Brian
nudged me. I turned around to give Brian my death stare. He smirked at me
and then looked back to his bowl of cereal.
Nick sat down, ignoring Howie's remark. He began to grab a bowl of cereal
and ate.
"Yo Nick, what's up?" Howie greeted in a strange, cautious voice.
I turned to Howie, wondering why in the world he sounded so strange. Howie
looked at me suspiciously. For a few seconds, the four of us, excluding
Nick, just exchanged stares.
I then turned to look at Nick and before I knew it, I began to stare again.
Damn! Be slick, Kevin. You don't attract people by staring at them like a
hungry wolf. "Morning, Nick," I said in my deepest, most alluring voice.
"Umm, Kev, do you have a sore throat?" Brian asked me with another of his
damn smirks, totally ruining the mood I was trying to create with Nick.
"No."
"Well then, you sound like you got something in your throat," AJ laughed.
I glared at AJ and Brian. How could they be so inconsiderate?
Next thing I knew, Nick was smiling. I swore, I saw the corners of his
mouth tilt slightly upwards. But what was that all about? Didn't he look
so disgusted yesterday? What was he doing? Was this some sort of a mind
game?
But I'm cool with it. I usually don't let things like that bother me. It
just kind of set me off.
"Buttheads," I muttered, more to myself than to them.
"Hey, I thought we already gone through this!" Howie decided to join in. I
rolled my eyes.
I did notice that Nick had not really said anything since he entered the
room. I looked at him. He was now gazing at his cereal. That was when I
saw the enormous amount of will it took for him to act like he's okay in
front of us. He was pretending. His eyes were trying to hold back his
hurt.
This only fueled my anger a little more. Why did he make it seem like the
end of the world? Calm down! I had to think clearly. Showing my anger
would only repel him. I had to be suave about all this. Besides, I'm the
man. He's the boy.
I reached over and grabbed his hand in a sudden burst of boldness. As
expected, he didn't pull back. He couldn't pull back lest he risk the
suspicions of the other Boys. I smiled triumphantly.
"Are you still sick from yesterday, Nick?" I asked sweetly. Sometimes, the
sweetness in my voice just makes me want to vomit.
Before I could say anymore, he yanked his hand from me. "No," he replied.
G-d, his voice was so gentle. Now how could such a gentle thing still be
mad at me?
Before I had the chance to stop him, he stood up. "We should get going, or
we'll be late." He quickly left the room. I sighed. That was when I
noticed that AJ's, Howie's and Brian's eyes were on me.
"Okay, okay. Let's get this straight. Is that person we were talking
about--the one you're setting your eyes on--is he Nick?" Brian asked,
flabbergasted.
AJ and Howie were tapping their fingers on the table expectantly.
"What if he is? What if he isn't?" I replied teasingly.
Brian suddenly looked like he was hit by a torpedo. "Nick's very naive,
Kevin. He's young. I mean, I know he's very attractive and all, but . . .
you shouldn't do this. His heart would be broken if he knew you're only
playing with him."
I felt the anger rising. "What are you trying to say? That I'm some beast
whose sole task is to chew out Nick's heart? I'm sorry about being
descriptive, but I think you'd prefer that analogy over my endless
cussing." I gave all three of them my death stare.
"So you're saying yes, it is Nick?" Howie continued to pry.
I sat back, regaining my calm once again. I laughed at them. "You know,
originally, I wasn't considering Nick, but now that you just challenged me,
I think I will." I smiled contentedly. I loved making them squirm in
guilt.
"This is not something to joke about!" Brian glared at me.
I looked at him less vehemently than before. "And it's not something to
talk about over breakfast," I said as I headed out the room. The limo as
well as Nick was waiting for us downstairs.
********************
If there ever were a time when I felt the tension in the room was
overbearing, it was now. The radio show didn't go too well. During
commercial breaks, we were throwing sarcastic remarks at each other. That
is, all of us, except for Nick.
He sat in the room, quiet as a mouse. When the interview was done, we
bursted out of the room as if we were escaping the plague.
One thing about the streets of New York is that drivers could care less
about hitting pedestrians. I was close on Nick's heels when he tried to
make it across the street.
We had barely made it two feet into the street, and mind you we were not
jaywalking, when a car honked at us. My first impulse was to grab Nick and
haul him back on the sidewalk. As I reached out to grab him, I realized
that someone else had yanked him back onto the sidewalk already.
All right. Keep your cool, Kevin. It's only day number one. Suave. Men
will be at your feet if you're suave, I kept on telling myself. I took a
deep breath and turned around to stare down the person who had been one
step ahead of me in rescuing Nick.
When I did finally turn to Nick's disgusting rescuer, I gaped.
"Well, hello there," the dark-haired, exceedingly good-looking man said to
me in a very irritating, ridiculing voice. I didn't fail to notice as his
hand still clung to Nick's arm. He winked at me teasingly.
I rolled my eyes. "Hello, Michael," I said evenly, the emotion lacking
from my voice.
"Well well, what have we here? Kid, you should be more careful," Michael
focused his attention back to Nick. Then he leaned forward. "You could
have been killed."
Nick looked at the man strangely. I knew that he was wondering what in the
world I had to do with this man. Then, sweet little Nick, as always,
thanked the guy and started to walk off. I noticed as Michael slipped
something in Nick's pocket without Nick knowing it and smiled that
disgusting smile of his. With that, he loosened his grasp on Nick's arm
and Nick left without even giving me a second glance.
I sighed. He still was upset. This was going to be harder than I thought.
But I wasn't going to give up. He was the wild horse that I'm going to
tame, and nothing's going to veer me from getting to my goal. I stared at
him as he walked away.
Besides, how far could he get? We were in the same hotel. He could run
away as much as he wanted to, but at the end of the day, we'd still be
sleeping across from each other. I laughed.
"What's so funny, Kev?"
My laugh died as soon as it left my mouth as I realized that Michael was
still there. I turned around. Geez, did he look a little more handsome
than before? Could that be possible? Or was it the lighting in the
streets?
I smirked at him and began to walk away. "Nothing."
"Come on, Kevin. What's the big rush? Would you like to spend some time
with one of your new nutritionist?" he said in a taunting voice.
I had to stop. I turned around in shock, speechless.
Michael again laughed disgustingly, even though his looks were hard to
resist. "Or should I say Nick's new nutritionist," he looked at me
innocently.
I gritted my teeth. "Let's go visit the that bar over there, shall we?" I
said in my slickest voice. But really, deep down inside me, I felt a sea
of unsettled anger. I wanted to gash his throat. Lover or no lover, we
were over. He wasn't going to cling on to me like a leech.
He laughed. "Thought you'd clear your senses. Come. It's on me."
*******************
We sent each other mental stabs as we sat there and stared at each other
for the first five minutes. Finally, being as gallant as I could, I began
the conversation, "Do not stalk me or you'll be eating turkey in the
jailhouse."
"Oh come on, Kev. What's up? It has been quite a while and I just wanted
to know how it's going?" Michael laughed.
"I am doing fine," I said absentmindedly.
"Well, yeah. I am too. You know, about what you said last time on the
phone? Well, I've thought about it. You're right. I shouldn't be trying
to hurt the one that I love. I should move on. Well, I've moved on, so I
thought we should celebrate. Cheers," He picked up his glass of beer.
"Cheers," I grumbled.
"I've found a new love," Michael continued.
"Oh? Congratulations." I was getting bored.
"He's the reason I now live," Michael leaned forward.
"Really? How touching." I was ready to go.
"Yep. He's blond. Maybe 6'2" or 6'3". Has amazing blue eyes. Is very
very very hypnotizing to look at. Might I say he can sing and dance
. . . and play the drums. He has a killer of a body and has just lost his
virginity about less than two days ago." Michael smiled at me.
By then, I found the air a bit stifling. I gasped for a few breaths of
air.
Michael continued to laugh at my expense. "Sure beats my ex-boyfriend by a
super wide gap."
I stared at him evenly ignoring his insult. "What makes you think that you
can go for him. These delusions that you speak of will get you nowhere."
Michael looked at me with a smirk. "I'd never thought you would go for a
virgin of all people. But I have to compliment you. You chose one hell of
a virgin to make out with."
I took out a ten dollar bill and placed it on the counter. With that, I
stood up and left. He was challenging me. This was his way at getting
back at me, and I can't show him any weakness. So what if I dumped him?
What a poor sport! And now, he's trying to foil my plans. Well, I'm not
going to let him run the show. He's not that significant. Besides, he's
not as attractive as I. There was no way he was going to make Nick fall
for him. Plus, I smiled, Nick didn't look too pleased bumping into him.
Maybe, just maybe, I can use him to push Nick my way.
'Scumball', I thought contentedly as I walked back to our hotel.
*******************
As expected, Nick was back at the hotel. He was never the wild one. He
hated going out in public. I wouldn't blame him. Everytime he was
recognized, he always came back shirtless. I'm pretty sure many people
wouldn't mind, but he's so modest. If I were him, I'd perform with just my
shorts on, then our concert would sell even faster.
I quietly knocked on his door. "Just a minute," I heard him saying from
the other side. I had to smile. He sounded like he recovered. At least
he wasn't inside, crying his poor little eyes out.
He opened the door. Sheesh, he has so much trust in people. He didn't try
asking who I was. He just opened the door like that. When he saw me, his
eyes showed some fear. I could sense it. But the good thing was that he
wasn't as overly dramatic as the past two days.
"Hi," I greeted warmly.
"Hi," he answered unsure of why I was there.
"I brought you this," I held out a box of chocolates.
He looked at me as if I were crazy.
"Nothing special. I saw it as I passed a candy store. It looks really
good. Thought you might like it," I smiled sheepishly. I knew he liked it
that way. He doesn't like people who are too suave.
I'm pretty sure at that moment, he didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I
smiled again, remaining silent. Moments like these give him the
opportunity to reflect. I could sense his indecisiveness as he was trying
to figure out what to do with me. I didn't leave. I waited there
patiently. Then, just then, he did the funniest thing. He botched his
eyes with an expression that seemed to say 'leave or I'll kill you.' I
smiled at him patiently.
Unexpectedly, he turned around and walked back into the room, leaving the
door open. I guess that was his way of saying that I could come in. I
stepped into his room, awed by the messiness of it all. I don't think I've
ever seen anything worse. Finally, spotting a clean spot on his bed, I sat
down.
Nick pulled up a chair and sat about ten feet away from me. "Thanks, I
guess." His voice was, again, amazingly gentle, especially considering how
upset he was.
"I guess?" I lifted an eyebrow. "You don't have to look at me like I
brought you some poison there Nick. Plus, am I radiating with bad vibes
here? Why are you sitting a mile away from me?"
Had the place not been so tense, I bet he would have laughed at that
statement. I looked at his face. There was no hint of humor on it. "Um,
yeah, well. I guess I'm just saying that I want to make peace with you."
Nick looked down at his feet. Then he did something that made me want to
dig a hole and bury myself. He began to cry. The tears came one by one
and very soon, his face was flooded with painful tears. I panicked. I had
never been confronted with this . . ummm . . . behavior before. I walked
up and didn't know whether I was supposed to put my arm around him or not,
or whether I should say something that sounded sympathetic.
"Ummmm . . . crying is good . . . ummm." My power of communication had
betrayed me. I did not know what to say. I swallowed a few words, but in
the end I found nothing intelligible to say. Calm down, Kev. What would
your mother do? I slowly kneeled down so that I was face to face with him.
Maybe Brian was right. Maybe the age difference is not helping this
relationship. He's so young and innocent. Nonsense. I've got to be the
strong one. I've got to lead him.
I held out my hand to brush away the few tears that I could. Soon, both of
my hands were wet with his tears. "Calm down, Nick. I'm not gonna hurt
you. You're gonna be okay. I promise you." I whispered those words over
and over.
I looked into those blue eyes and felt this intense fear. What was it
about him that made me so scared at that moment? We locked our gazes for a
few minutes before I noticed that he had stopped crying.
Then, as calm as I've ever seen him, he asked me one question. "Why did
you do it, Kevin?" The way he spoke gave me no opportunity to avoid his
question. He used his eyes to force me to succumb to him.
I felt myself burning with a mixture of feelings which I was too confused
to sort out. That was when I felt myself at one with my soul. Suddenly,
his face became darker, as if a dark shadow was casted over it. He no
longer looked innocent, but rather like a human body with the soul of a
devil out to avenge me or something. I grabbed his shoulders and shoved
him back violently, feeling the fury rise within me.
Those teasing blue eyes were sharper than ever. I stared back at him.
"And why the f--- do you care?" I replied with belligerence.
At that moment, I saw that I had driven the knife into his heart. The
tears that had dried began to trickle down his face again, but they were
tears of anger, not sadness. He jumped out of his seat and walked to the
door. "Get out!" he cried out to me, but I did not budge.
"I said get out of here!" he wavered once again. Still, I didn't budge. I
simply glared at him as he kept on pointing to the exit.
"You don't need to teach me where the exit is. I'm no child. And I don't
need a child to point anything out to me!" I said defiantly. "What do you
know? Even if I explain to you, your petty little mind wouldn't be able to
handle it." I slowly inched my way towards Nick. "But if you want to
know, I'll tell you." I didn't know why, all of a sudden, I felt this
intense fire. I guess I was getting so emotional because he was so direct.
He didn't try to avoid the issue. And I felt like I was flayed in front of
him. Worse, I couldn't do anything to hide myself. Or maybe, anger was
the shield I used to protect myself.
Either way, I was starting to regret my attitude. But I couldn't help it.
It was like I was riding a wave and I couldn't get off. I never thought I
could be that harsh to anyone.
I clenched my teeth. "It's because I was sick of your innocence crap. You
know, every time I look at you, you make me sick. Do you honestly think
that your soul is as beautiful as your body? I mean, just look at the way
you act. What would I have given to wipe that smile off your sorry face."
I didn't notice then, but his face lost all of its rosiness. He had
remained silent for the longest time. Those soft delicate hands that never
knew about hard work were trembling.
But I didn't know why? I didn't know what had possessed me at that moment?
I continued on ranting like a madman. "You pathetic idiot. Do you think
you're so wonderful and that I did it because you were attractive? Well
let me tell you that of all the men I've been with, you're the most
unsatisfying thing I have laid my hands on. You get it?"
Oh G-d. What was I doing? Didn't I come in here with the resolve to make
peace? What was all that effort finding the chocolate for? Was this some
sort of subconscious thing because I didn't go in here with the intention
of this happening.
I put my hand to my forehead, trying to sort through what I had just done.
"Look Nick, I . . . " I looked up, but he was gone.
Oh, f---. What did I do? I pounded my fists against the wall, hoping to
relieve some tension, but I couldn't. Something was wrong.
I sat there and waited--waited for Nick to come back. But one hour passed.
Then two hours. Then four hours. Then night came. Tiredly, I laid down
on his bed, pulling his blankets over me. Finally, I fell asleep.
But as I slept, I only became more disturbed. I saw images of him, but
they were strange. We were chasing each other in my dream. It was surreal
because there was no ground beneath our feet. Rather, we were floating.
And then, I saw myself burst into a ball of flames and I flung myself at
him so that he could become charred. He ran like I never saw him run
before. Finally, I crashed into him, but he didn't burst into flames like
me. He remained intact, but he kept crying in pain. He begged for me to
forgive him, to let him go. But I didn't. I clung to him for my life,
willing the flames to burn him up.
Then, I woke up. I found myself sweaty and panting. I immediately turned
to read the clock. 3:00 a.m. What was going on? Where was he? In what
corner of the city was he in now? I needed to talk to him desperately.
I jumped from my bed as I heard the thunder rumbling outside. Quickly, I
ran out of his room to mine to grab my jacket. Then I ran out into the
night. I had to find him.
********************
Well, that was chapter 2. Hoped you all liked it. What happened to Nick?
What will Kevin find out? And what is Michael's ulterior motive in joining
the Bboys?
Please, please send me email and let me know what you think!
ngclle@yahoo.com
One more thing--Go and get the new CD Black and Blue. It's awesome!