Taking a bow

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All of my life I've been bowing, showing respect to the others. I looked at them with respect, faith in their capabilities. Recently though, I've come to an epiphany... people put their faith differently. This is basically a follow up on the trust issue, bearing sad news.I'll be lying if I say I wasn't disappointed, well working in the shadows paid differently than expected. No, I've been expecting this... I just brushed it off as nothing. I've been basically cut off from them, right after I gave them the list of people close to her. I had to do the investigation alone, because right now they needed me to be guilty. So yeah, no word from them anymore. The investigation isn't going well for me too, so I had to just move on. Let's see who they'll actually find, if they actually cared to find the real culprit.

I'm not really worried about myself being forgotten anymore. Well it sucks but I'm more worried about their relapses, people can repeat mistakes. Youth is a very fragile phase and I'm getting outdated for them. A shame, to see us stray away far from each other but I guess it's about time. Maybe I lied, I hate getting my existence erased. I hate feeling the things I've done to be all for naught. First it was deaths, then this falling out because of mistrust. I'm slowly falling to doubts again. I hate to doubt people, I hate to doubt myself for doubting people.

Right now I'm stuck as this fool again, out of place. No matter how I turn, my piece can't seem to fit into this puzzle. I'm getting cold blooded again, and I have forgotten why is it wrong. Is it actually wrong though? Why should I pretend to be an idiot just to please people that I don't know? I don't remember why, but I keep doing this anyways. Why.