June 7, 2007

Sean Hannity's Robin Givens Quivers Wrote A Children's Book

In the Kid Brand Whore post below, DT reader Dan found a single search result for Sean Hannity. How can you not be interested to see what it is?

The book is Freddie The Free-Range Chicken, which is actually written by Jill Vitale, who apparently played Hannity's playfully contrarian, ultimately obsequious sidekick on his radio show. All the characters are named after Hannity staffers, except for Farmer Ted, who's supposed to be Ted Nugent. [That's also the name of The Geek in Sixteen Candles, for what that's worth.] Hannity's involvement with the book, besides appearing in it as Sean The Bull? He wrote the foreword, the BBQ sauce to Flipper's chicken.

Vitale's author bio says she is a "semi-vegetarian that [sic] eats free-range chicken," and [that] is known for her "liberal rants." What's good for the chickens is good for the liberals, too, sister. Phony "on the other hand" ranting for Sean Hannity's amusement is the liberal discourse equivalent of a 1st-gen McNugget.

In her radio plugs for the book, Flipper talks about the Important Lessons the book teaches, including not eating a chicken with a name and deciding to spend more time with your kids. WTF? That's right, Freddie lives, and even though you went to the trouble of buying a wingnut-politically correct book to indoctrinate your kid, you're still a bad parent.

Still, it sounds a hundred times better than the treasonously unfunny Help, Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed!

[update: so yeah, for the title, I meant Robin Quivers, sidekick to Howard Stern, not Robin Givens, one-time marital punchingbag of Mike Tyson. Thanks to AT for lifting me up out of my ignorant gutter after thousands of other people passed by, laughing at my cultural cluelessness.]

[update update: Just in case the world isn't small enough, Jill herself emailed Fri. with the same correction. Turns out Robin Givens just wrote a book and was flogging it on Howard Stern yesterday. It's a memoir of surviving domestic violence, so yeah--not free range chicken. Daddy Types regrets the error.]
It was supposed to come out at Christmas, but Freddie The Free-Range Chicken is available for pre-order for June 2007 delivery [amazon]

Thanks for the in-depth followup research on the Hannity book. I was meaning to do that myself, but then I got sidetracked looking for Dubya children's books, and then kids' books with Dick Cheney in them, and inevitably to books authored by Lynne Cheney... and then I got horribly, painfully sick.