My mirror up there in the sky got dinked by a marble sized piece of green cheese and burned up your crop. But don't worry about green, in paper form, cheese form or your crops because you won't be needing those eyes as you looked up at the unusual shiny bright thingy.

Yesterday a piece of space trash knocked our Microwave Power Plant operating over Oregon off target from its station. Unfortunately, it continued to beam a strong powerful ray of energy down as its sights fell over your Western provinces. We are sorry.

We urge you not to think of it as "a swath of destruction" so much as "a wicked cool tattoo"... I heard Mexico is very jealous.

Williston Lake was a very beautiful lake right up until it evaporated... but look on the bright side--there sure the hell ain't no zebra mussels left in there now!

We're also sorry that instead of shutting it down, we just swung it back over Canada to its power station in Oregon and next time we will totally just stop it before this happens. To make up for it, we'll send you some extra power so your people stop rioting and Mad Maxing.

Satellite in geostable orbit. Receiving station on equator. Receiving station emits guiding signal to satellite, causing satellite to beam power to earth. If the guiding signal is missing, the satellite stops beaming power and starts using that power to adjust it's position. That's how I'd do it.

That's nice and all, but how about this: If the beam goes off-target, the satellite cranks the output up to full power, obliterating whatever it happens to be pointed at. This will create a bright column of light visible to cameras at the receiving station. Based on which direction this shaft of annihilation is from the station, the ground station transmits instructions to the satellite of which way to adjust the beam, walking it back onto the target and creating a massive swath of destruction in the process.

I have done research similar to what you are talking about. I have exposed microwaves to a couple of generations of Homo sapiens. The prolonged exposure has been quite detrimental. Test subjects have shown an increase in weight gain, decreased health and several grotesque genetic mutations. Their diet has even changed from mom's home cooking to TV dinners. The population has changed so drastically, I have dubbed the new species Homo laziens.

We've know for long that your education system was in trouble, but we didn't know the situation was so desperate. You might want to get a refresher course in geography, but just FYI, Canada is to the north, not to the south of Oregon. If you needed economic support, you should have asked.

Try looking at the energy densities per square millimeter. That 200 MW beam is spread out quite a bit.

Well, spread out a bit until SkyNet get angry, then it's a cannon. At that point we'll see which side sent the governator back in time to authorize this. For all we know, the orbital microwave cannon is the weapon needed to defeat SkyNet early!

Frankly, I find arguemtns that the governator was actually sent back in time by SkyNet exactly as credible as environmentalist concerns that we might hurt one fluffy bunny.