Friday, May 2, 2008

Oh, how brave and noble are today's "progessive" bloggers. I've only waded into the morass of the leftosphere on a handful of occassions and, despite the superfluity of knee-jerk reactionary dreck (which, in all fairness, can be found in spades on our side as well), I must confess that I've found a few sparks of intelligence and wit over there.

Hoping to stumble upon a trenchant little piece from the leftist perspective today, I paid a visit to the Liblogs aggregating website whereupon I chanced to read a post of such staggering insight that my knuckle-draggingly rightist cranium exploded upon reading its words.

The insight was found, in the form of a thoughtful "memo" to Prime Minister Harper regarding some ambiguous and unsourced stiffling of the Canadian military's freedom of speech, on the blog "Rolling Back The Tide of Extremism." The blog's title, incidentally, had me rolling in the ironic aisles for a pleasant 5 or 6 minutes before I could gather myself.

And so I thought I'd share the aforementioned insight with my gentle readership:

Memo to Lardo:

We've checked and, sure enough, you don't pay the public and armed services of Canada, we do. Their job description requires them to work for the best interests of the country, not for the furtherance of your political fortunes.

Look here, you abysmal control freak, take the gags off the public service and the armed forces. If they've got something to say, let us hear it. When we want to hear from you, we'll let you know.

Let's have their opinions, their insights, their considerable experience and invaluable knowledge, not your censored, perverted version of what you would have us believe. You don't have to agree with them and you certainly have every opportunity and the full means of Parliament at your disposal to explain your position when you disagree and choose another path. If you've got a case, make it and, this being a democracy, we'll decide.

You see, Stevie, when you gag the public and armed services, you impose a form of partisan, political censorship on them and on us. That's undemocratic and what's undemocratic in Canada is unpatriotic. You're being unpatriotic and those who shill for you are just as unpatriotic and even those who merely sit on their hands and support you are not one bit better.

Yes! Yes! I've always suspected Stephen Harper didn't personally pay the armed services. Validation at last. And how about that gorgeous line "when we want to hear from you, we'll let you know." I wasn't aware that Prime Ministers were confined to a "dont speak unless spoken to" relationship with the citizenry.

I'm so amused by the left's constant moaning that Harper is somehow undemocratic. When someone takes this position, they're giving you a valuable clue towards an understanding of the Liberal perspective. You see, democracy is "rule by the people" and I, as a leftist and supporter of Canada's Natural Ruling Party, must certainly speak for the people. Consequently, anything Harper says or does is perforce undemocratic. More importantly, don't you see how not voting for the Liberals is unpatriotic now? If "democracy" is "rule by the people," and the Liberals speak for the people of Canada, then voting for the Tories violates the Will of the Canadian People and is tantamount to treason.

Oh, and did you catch that in the last paragraph? He called the Prime Minister of our country "Stevie." The brilliance here is that "Stevie" is an informal epithet and, by applying it to a person for whom appelations are conventionally formal, the nickname belittles without the troublesome responsibility of providing evidence for any criticisms that one might have.

But maybe RBTT does provide evidence. Let's read on, shall we?

Look here chum, we have plenty of reason to be suspicious of you and yours. If you'll do something this egregious when you have only a bare minority government, how underhanded will you be if we ever give you a majority?

Ah! There's that belittling through inappropriately informal appellations again. I just can't get enough of it.

Every now and then, Steve, you can't help but reveal just how deeply you hold the country and the Canadian people in contempt. It's time you showed a little respect, Steve, for Canada, for Parliament and for us lowly Canadians. We're not cattle and we're sure as hell not your serfs either.

Shorter RBTTOE: "Brothers and sisters, please! We need to have more respect for each other. Especially you, Lardo, you fat, knuckle-dragging moron."

At any rate, thanks for the laugh, friend. And, you know, for rolling back that tide of extremism like you do.