Stage. The edge.

Economics Prof Crunches Numbers To Comedic Effect

November 13, 1998|By Justin Hayford. Special to the Tribune.

The original run of Peter Bernstein's "Economanic Depression: A Crash Course About the Coming Crash" opened on July 17 -- the very day the Dow Jones industrial average reached its all-time peak. Bernstein could teach Alanis Morissette a thing or two about irony.

"I felt a little sheepish about opening the show then," Bernstein confesses. "I remember being at Kinko's, making copies of charts demonstrating the market's tendency to plummet after substantial rises. Some guy peeking over my shoulder gave me a look of, `Why rain on the parade?' "

Given the irrational exuberance of investors big and small a mere five months ago, perhaps more parades should have been rained out. And there's no more delightful squall to be caught in than Bernstein's satirical lecture series. As Professor Pettibone Daniels -- a man who justifies accepting bribes from his students as obeying the directives of a free-market economy -- Bernstein conducts an imaginary course in global economics, solving any ethical dilemma by deferring to simple supply and demand.

Take the sinking of the "Titanic," for example. "To call 800 lifeboat seats for 2,200 passengers a `shortage' is a gross misunderstanding of economic theory," Daniels asserts. If the cost of a lifeboat seat had been allowed to rise until it met the level of demand, crisis would have been averted. So what if only the 800 survived? "What's fair? Some people are so poor they don't have to pay income tax. Is that fair?"

Bernstein is no Johnny-come-lately to ivory tower economic models; he's taught economics at the university level since 1989. But as a member of the original University of Chicago Off-Off-Campus players, his heart has always been in comedy. Although he thought he had given up his performing career six years ago, the Dow lured him back.

And given the wild market swings since Professor Daniels first pointed out the market's ridiculous inflation, perhaps his next performance should be for Alan Greenspan.