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A salesman in a strange city was feeling horny and wanted release. He
inquired for the address of a good house of ill repute. He was told to
go to 225 West 42nd St.
By mistake, he went to 255 West 42nd St, the office of a podiatrist. Being
met by a beautiful woman in a white uniform surprised but intrigued him.
She directed him to an examining room and told him to uncover and someone
would be with him soon.
He loved the thought of the table and the reclining chair and was really
getting aroused because of the strange and different approach this house
offered.
Finally the doctor's assistant, a really gorgeous redhead entered and
found him sitting in the chair with his generous member in his hand.
"My goodness", she exclaimed, "I was expecting to see a foot."
"Well," he said, "if you're going to complain about an inch then I'll take
my business elsewhere."

Thirty minutes before a plane landed, its cabin lights came on,
indicating to the flight attendants that breakfast could be served.
One of the passengers, upset because he was awakened, growled, "Who
turned on the fucking lights!"
"Oh, no sir," the nearest flight attendant replied. "Those are the
breakfast lights. You slept through the 'fucking lights.'"

Presidential Election'2000
Dear Abby,
I am a sailor in the US Coast Guard. My parents live in the suburb of
Philadelphia and one of my sisters, who lives in Bensenville, is married
to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for
growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other
two sisters, who are prostitutes in Jersey City. I have two brothers, one
who is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Attica for rape and
murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently being
held in the Wellington Remand Center on charges of incest with his three
children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute
who lives in the Bronx and indeed is still a part-time "working girl" in a
brothel. However her time there is limited, as we hope to open our own
brothel with her as the working manager. I am hoping my two sisters would
be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to
prostitute themselves, at least it would get them off the street,
and hopefully the heroin... Abby, my problem is this: I love my fiance
and look forward to bringing her into the family and of course I want to
be totally honest with her... Should I tell her about my cousin who voted
for Bush?
Signed,
Worried about my reputation