i don't know what to do... long.

I'm having a few issues
1- at my baby shower I got a lot of stuff. This is my moms first grandchild and she has been buying stuff since we doing out in April. Most of what she got was on clearence because money is tight. She has been spending all her extra money though. He partner has been buying stuff too. They put all their gifts together, wrapped them the same and it was a give pile. My DH's mom got an old rocking chair from a garage sale and fixed it up. It's a cool gift I like it a lot. But through the pregnancy she has been getting her nails done spending money on herself here and there and age just bought a new tv.
So at the shower I opened all the gifts. At the end of the shower his mom went to my mom and made a crappy remark. She called my mom a show off!! Then proceeded to talk to other people at the shower about how my mom is a show off and basically talking crap about her. I don't think this is cool at all. She also wrote on fb that she was going to rock at the baby shower, like its some kind of compitition!! It's not!! I talked to my DH (dear husband) about it and I think he said something to his mom cuz when she saw my mom at the store I guess it was everything she could do to be nice to my mom. I don't want it to be like this. I dont know how to handle it!!

2- my DH (dear husband) wants his mom in the room during delivery. She is so kind and enjoys to embrace people. I don't want her in there. I want my DH (dear husband) and my mom. He says he should be able to have his mom in there if I am having my mom. I don't think this is fare cuz he isn't the one who will be uncomfy and pushing a baby out of him. I really want my mom there because I'm an only child and my mom raised me alone. We are extremely close and I cannot imagine her not there holding my hand. I have a gut feeling that his mom is going to make it stressful and very uncomfortable for me, possibly to the pour of slowing down labor. I can't decide what's more important to me having my mom in the room with her too and being uncomfy or having neither. Does that have to be my choice?

I just want to cry thinking about all of this. I want to make everyone happy. But I just can't seem to do so while making myself happy.any ideas??

I have had this problem. Do what YOU want or you'll regret it later. With my 1st I ended up with THREE extra people in my room b/c no one would say no. Tell the nurses who you want when delivery actually begins and they will make sure it happens...and it almost looks like their idea...this is how I nipped it quick with my 2nd.

Ditto what PP (previous poster) said. Your DH (dear husband) isn't the one who will be naked and pushing a baby out of his nether regions. Would he be comfortable with your mom in the room while he was having a prostate exam? I highly doubt it.

As far as the babyshower competition thing, I think I'd just try and ignore it. They are 2 grown women, they can figure it out between them. You don't need the stress of all this!

No sweety..dont stress yourself out. You do not have to have mil (mother-in-law) there. She is not going to offer you support. Dh seems to want her there to be even. Thats not what the situation is about. You need to be as calm and focused as you can. Wich also means your dh (dear husband) needs to focus on you not his mom. Tell him in a nice way. You need this support not a spectator..you only have 2 sides to your body and you dont feel comfortable. She can come in as soon as you and baby are ready....its ok to do that...

Thank you. I was hoping to get a moment alone with one of the nurses and maybe have them say only 2 people are allowed. The decision would be simple at that point. I just don't know if I can get that chance. Do you think I could slip them a note or something? I don't want to hide it from my DH (dear husband) though. I think he would be really mad if he ever found out. And I suck at keeping things from him.

The first problem sounds like its resolved. U say ur hubby apparently spoke to his mom (u should ask him btw) & she was nice to ur mom. U cant really expect ur mil (mother-in-law) to spend all her money on u guys & neglect herself. So they each did whatever they felt they could do to help u prepare for ur baby.

As far as delivery goes, Im a firm believer in "its ur baby & its ur husband's baby too". Marriage is all about compromise & negotiation & if u sit down & talk it out with ur hubby, u can surely come up with a solution that pleases u both. The birth of ur baby is a special occasion for u & ur DH (dear husband) & this isnt a time for resentment between u & dh, u & mil, dh (dear husband) & ur mom etc etc. Its a happy time. U can work it out with ur husband.

That talk with my nurse was on the top of my list. BUT she will be checking you periodically--they usually clear the room to do this...tell her then. Unless hubby is an issue there, then...heck yea! I'd write a note, do whatever I had to. If youre not comfortable, the experience is going to produce unhappy memories. My hubby still hates to discuss all the people who moved in on our 1st birth. She is 11 now and it is still a crappy memory.

Your DH (dear husband) isn't the one who will be naked and pushing a baby out of his nether regions. Would he be comfortable with your mom in the room while he was having a prostate exam? I highly doubt it.

^^THIS^^

I love my MIL (mother-in-law) but being naked and spread eagle exposed is not something I would ever want to share with her. Labor is hard enough already, you need people who will help you along not make you feel uncomfortable. Perhaps let her hang out with you before you start pushing then ask her to leave while you are birthing and then let her back in once baby is born and you are covered again, that way she won't feel totally unloved and left out.

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( ))____Eva____))> and ( ))__Harrison__))>

"It's a rather rude gesture, but at least it's clear what you mean." - Katharine Hepburn

I don't know if this is your 1st or not but with my 1st I thought I would care who was in the room and when it was time to deliver I could care less who was in there!! Bit if you think.you will have a hard time with it maybe ask your mil (mother-in-law)

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