Another reason Fly thought we shouldn't be monogamous was because I had never been with anyone else. In high school and college I was pretty involved with my church, and the few boyfriends I'd had were church kids too. Fly felt pretty strongly that I needed space to figure out who I am.

I've always been a strongly sexual person, indulging frequently in self-love and fascinated by how people relate to each other regarding sex and romance. With Fly's encouragement, my first steps were to seek information from classes, workshops, and group meetings. I became an enthusiastic shopper at the toy store (Babeland rocks!), and signed up for a membership at the local sex-positive community center. It was there I first heard about polyamory, and took a "Poly 101" workshop. I instantly felt a kinship towards the people who shared their experiences about how they built their families, how they structured their lives based on love instead of societal expectations. I wasn't ready to jump in the deep end, but polyamory simmered in the back of my mind for the next 4-5 years.

It was also about this time that I came to the firm conclusion that I am bisexual, at least sexually. I'd flirted with the idea for quite a while - there was a girl I was friends with in high school who was self-professed bi (now I think it was mostly for shock value), and I'd secretly had a bit of a hero crush on her. But for the first time, I'd begun to seriously consider dating and sleeping with a woman, and it felt erotic and appealing.

So, along with my Poly 101 and Art of the Blowjob classes, I took "Women Flirting with Women." My first impulse when confronted with new ideas is always to find a book or take a class, and it was no different with my sexuality.