Tips

One person can't be everything

One person can't be everything. I can't do it, so I try not to expect it from others. I've learned to appreciate that the different people in my life fulfill different "needs" I have.

I have friends I get "arty" with, friends I get "redneck" with, friends I am "sporty" with, friends I call when I need a hug. I wouldn't call a fishing buddy for an opinion on my new haircut. My arty friends would not enjoy going to a hockey game with me. This is OK.

For example, my guy will never be the person who plans and organizes a night out. If I want to go out and do something, I research it, buy the tickets or make the reservation, and put it on his calendar. But I've got girlfriends who do the same for me & I love it when someone else takes the reigns sometimes. I accept that my guy does not do this and I let it go.

On the other hand, my guy is really good at orchestrating a nice cozy evening at home complete with candles, wine, DVD's a lots of cuddles. I'm a bit of a tomboy so I would feel silly setting that up but I sure enjoy it when he does it for me.

For my part, I've found that I'm good at unbiased and confidential listening. Friends confide in me knowing I will not judge or repeat what they've told me. But they also know the can not engage me in trash-talking anyone. Call someone else for that.

Sure we can be multiple things for each other. I like to keep expectations simple so I'm always satisfied and quite often pleasantly surprised. "All-or-nothing" thinking is a sure way to be disappointed. And alone.

I totally agree...if there were one person who did it all, it wouldn't make your other friends stand out! I like having the friends I go to coffee with, to wine bars with. I will say though that I try to convert the guys to football, because I seem to pick the ones who aren't into it and I'm a diehard fan!

I think it's great you recognize what you can expect from the people in your life and allow and accept that. It's much more pleasant than being disappointed because you have expectations that are unreasonable.

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