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So even though my nose has never been terrible,...

30 Oct 2013

8 days post

So even though my nose has never been terrible, its always been quite large from the profile view and I've hated it since I was 15. After 5 years of deliberation, I finally got a nose job last week. I quite liked my front view and wanted that to remain the same, but I wanted a slight curve from the side view - but definitely NOT a ski slope nose.

So I had my surgery at the beginning of last week, and my cast off a week later. As soon as the doctor took my cast off, I was awaiting that moment of happiness I've read about on this site: that moment where you catch a glimpse of your new nose and absolutely love it.
But i didn't have that at all: the first time I saw my new nose I burst into tears. I looked like an absolute monster.
It is now 9 days post-op, and 4 days since I got my cast off and I am barely coping. I know it is still very swollen, and it takes a few weeks, let alone months for the full shape to appear.
But I feel like my nose shouldn't look like this. I asked for a small change, but I look like a completely different person. Every time I look in the mirror I don't see myself at all! I never thought I was exceptionally pretty beforehand, but now I feel uglier than before. I'm not sure if it is just my skewed perception, but I feel like I look like a monster, and certainly not human.
My nose has completely changed from the front view: exactly what I didn't want. It is short and thick, and very pig-like. To make matters worse, my nostrils are clearly uneven. The left one is alright, but the right one seems to have been cut into a different shape. I know that rhinoplasty is an art, and that exact symmetry is never guaranteed. But my nostrils are clearly VERY different. The right one looks almost reptilian, and my nose just doesn't look...right.

From the side, it is extremely scooped, stubby and like a ski-slope. I know this will probably go down with swelling, but I just don't know how to cope with feeling so ugly for the next few months.

I was aware of all the complications and side-effects of this surgery. But after reading so many other real-self stories where people were overall really happy with their results, I can't help but feel really let down by my own surgery. Everyone else looks so normal after their rhinoplasties, and as if their noses suit their faces. But mine... just doesn't.

But I'm not sure if this is just aftershock and a matter of my own personal perception, or whether there clearly is something wrong with my nose.