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its a couple of weeks to my birthday and i've been trying to make a list for DH so he can choose some things so its a semi surprise. That got me thinking about the date............................ then I realised its 8 months today since my dad died. and its absolutely floored me. We've already eaten tea but we're having a take in as i'm suddenly hungry and need comfort food right now. stupid huh.

I feel a bit like on the one hand i want to be treated like a princess and spoilt rotten on my b'day, and on the other hand that i just want to let it pass with no reference to it whatsoever.

I was really on an up today too, but have swung very very low tonight.

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Giddy ((((hugs)))) there will be many many days like this. But your Dad would WANT you to celebrate your birthday, it's a very special day, I'm sure the day you were born he celebrated the birth of such a gorgeous daughter xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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Giddy ((((hugs)))) there will be many many days like this. But your Dad would WANT you to celebrate your birthday, it's a very special day, I'm sure the day you were born he celebrated the birth of such a gorgeous daughter xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

oh dreamy thats opened the floodgate, but thank you xxxx

i'm just so cross with myself cos i've been ok for a good couple of months now, and i've just tripped up back into a pool of sad again.

i will celebrate, as you're right, i know he would want me to celebrate (incidentally, he waltzed my nan round the back garden the day i was born - oh the days when dads werent involved in the birth eh - i'd pay money to see what vision)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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its nearly 3 years since i lost dad, it made my depression hit all time low and i had a breakdown but now i can laugh about things dad did, like one year dad despite his rheumatics got on the slide at the pub with his granddaughter. it makes me smile now and i hope one day you will laugh about things your dad did too. losing a parent is something you dont know what its like until it happens. i have bad days and good days but now i have applied to help at the hospice where dad died. they were so good i want to repay them and now i feel strong enough. celebrate its what your dad would have wanted i am sure he will be looking down and smiling at you.