Tag Archives: Intimacy

I love how the Internet just loves to get pissed. It really does. The Internet loses its fucking mind every time there is some big thing that they feel they have to get upset about, because they have nothing better to do with their time. Lately, it’s been Riley J Dennis getting her panties in a bunch because people chose to call out the video that her girlfriend made where she basically says that if you don’t date a trans person who still has the genitals of the sex they were born as, you’re a bigot.

This argument is so dumb for a lot of reasons. I’ve already talked before in my post about the Fall of Zinnia Jones how this is simply ridiculous. After all, you’ll like dick if you just give it a try! What’s what? That argument sounds just like the ones that straight people said to gay girls? I know my friend Quinn heard that same argument from the Priest in the church she grew up in when she was younger. But now we have the regressive left literally taking that EXACT SAME argument and waving it with the banner of it being a good thing. That just blows my fucking mind. They’re so desperate to be seen as tolerant that they take the rhetoric of intolerant people and use it as a way of proving how not-intolerant they are. There’s so much delicious irony.

I am one of the people who says that Riley’s girlfriend was basically making the argument that sexual “preferences” is a choice. Because you can choose to magically like dick, if you are a girl and don’t. Just like I can magically choose to like dick on a girl. Right? See, here’s something that all these SJW retards don’t want to realize when they make the argument “the last thing I think about is genitals.” Really? Then you’ve never have sex. See, sex is about sexual contact. To all the SJW guys, here’s a question – you have a girlfriend? If you get one, and you’re in bed with her, would you wanna suck her cock? Would you want her fucking you up the ass with it? Because if she has one, then that’s how sexual contact will go. You will be fucking her penis. I wonder if that’s how Steve Shives gets it on. Maybe he is living proof that you can grow to like it long enough if you take it.

Everyone I see on Twitter and other sites arguing this crap seems to want to totally ignore the fact that if you are making the argument that what you like to feel, sexually, can be changed. So ladies, you like getting fuck by a big cock? Great. These people are telling you that you can not like that, if you just give it a chance. Do you see how stupid that is?!

It baffles me how we’ve come to this. Everyone on the far-left is so desperate to not be called a bigot that we’re going to pretend that what you are sexually into can just be fundamentally changed if you just give it enough of a chance. All the straight guys are gonna magically want to suck cock and all the straight girls are going to want to touch vaginas. An argument for which there is NO evidence of ANY kind that it is true. After all, you’re born wanting what you want. The same argument that the gay community uses equally applies here.

We live in an age where, in order to be seen as “progressive,” there is a fucking purity test. This bothers me. This social justice mentality has infected everything. A lot of people are saying that going after SJWs is tired, but then we see this stupid crap, and I realize that it’s not. It’s as big now as it has ever been. And these people don’t see how they’re doing real damage to their own movement. Because now, instead of wanting to be allies, they’re made to feel guilty about their “preferences.” Yeah, because what you like to have when you are at the most intimate moments of your life is just something you can choose. Imbeciles.

I get where all of this is coming from. For real, I do. I maintain that I get why Riley said this crap. It’s because she didn’t want people to be rejected. Rejection hurts. But here’s the thing that Riley and all the people who think like her don’t seem to want to accept – rejection is part of life. Trust me, I’ve gotten a ton of it. I know what it’s like. You gotta accept that not everyone is going to be attracted to you. Some people who see that giant honking Adam’s Apple are going to be put off. Some people who see that painfully-average penis are going to be put off. That’s not bigotry. It’s because they know what they want to have sexual contact with, and that isn’t it. Hey Riley, would you suck your girlfriend’s cock if she had one? Would you let her peg you with it? If that thought provides even a moment’s hesitation for you, then maybe you fucking get it. And maybe you can see that this isn’t bigotry. It’s just someone wanting something else in the bedroom than you. I’m sorry if you or your friends have been hurt before because someone didn’t want you. But we all have to deal with that. Saying that a lesbian is a bigot because she doesn’t want a penis inside her is just as disgusting as the aforementioned Priest saying Quinn should just give dick a try and it would grow on her.

I genuinely can’t see the difference between those points of view.

Until next time, a quote,

“I think putting labels on people is just an easy way of marketing something you don’t understand.” – Adam Jones

You know what I hate about anime – modern anime. There is so much shit. I don’t even keep track of what comes out anymore because 99% of it is pure crap. I can hear all the sad otaku now. “You’re just one of those hipster anime fans who say they only like old stuff!” “Lemme guess, you only like artsy anime?” Please. I’m looking at one of the most thematically uncomfortable anime on the planet right now – Koi Kaze. Am I a hipster? I guess. I long for the days when anime was made by fantastic people and was willing to take some risks. I miss the days of mecha anime. No shit, what happened to that? I haven’t heard about an interesting mecha series in forever. I hear they are making a third season to Code Geass, and I’m like – why? The plot was wrapped up pretty nicely. There wasn’t a single loose end. Brittania was destroyed. Lelouch united the world in hating him. He canonized Zero as a hero of the people. The truth about Geass was now gone and everyone who had heard it was dead or had been forcibly put under Zero’s control. Where does the plot go from here? Wait, what was I talking about?

Oh, right, anime needs more sex too. I’m not talking about porn. I’m talking about intimacy. I’m talking about intimate relationships between characters that has them doing the deed and making it not gratuitous but instead a look at the strength of their connection. I am so tired of anime that treats any form of romantic expression as if it’s the most daring and insane thing ever. Maybe it’s because almost all anime have a protagonist whose balls haven’t dropped yet. At least not that you could tell. So many relationships in so many anime could have been made better if we got to see some romantic expression in the form of intimacy between characters.

I can already hear the counterargument – “but Lucien, it’s about the thematic elements! You can feel the connection but it doesn’t need to be shoved in your face!” Sometimes, sure. I mean, FLCL had a romantic connection between the main protagonist and his roommate. He was romantically interested in her. There even is an episode where him and her do the metaphorical deed. You don’t see anything, but the theme at play with two people coming together and doing it is right there. It works especially there because the protagonists is underage. Seeing him actually pursuining his roomie romantically would have been weird. But other series could use more of it.

Here’s the thing, I absolutely hated the Rahxephon movie, save for one truly stand-out part – where Kamina is absolutely losing it and Haruka decides to comfort him. There is a moment of genuine intimacy where he decides that he can’t hold back, and so he actually does it with her. They even have a conversation after having sex and you really feel the two bonding. I love that. How I wish that more anime was able to just have two characters lounging around after fucking and musing about whatever. Sharing a sexual moment and bonding afterwards. How many of us have actually been there? Some of the best conversations I have had were with someone I was in bed with. Or in the back of a girl’s car. Wherever.

It’s becoming such an overused trope where every time a boy sees a girl in an anime that he is interested in or even dating in their underwear it is treated like the most scandalous thing. Why? I mean, if it’s some girl you aren’t dating, that makes some sense. But when I see it done with characters who are couples, that drives me up on the wall. What if she wants him to see her in her underwear? Why do all the women in these series act like being seen in their fun clothes as such an insult? If the guy is being a perv, absolutely. If the dude just happened up on it, though, how is that on him? I see all these beta males getting fucked up by the females all for seeing something completely on accident, often with them making apologies for their actions because they do feel ashamed for it.

I’m not saying that every series need to have characters fucking. Since so much of anime is about teenagers, that is kinda weird. But when I was watching the first (and only good) season of Darker Than Black, I got to thinking – wouldn’t it make more sense for these two characters actually liking each other if they were hooking up? I mean, she’s a police officer, he’s a college student. It would make sense if they went out and hooked up and maybe got to talking. We are supposed to buy a relationship between them out of them going out and playing in the batting cages? I don’t think so. Call it my American sensibilities, but are we really going to say the Japanese don’t have any kind of casual sex culture? Well, given that the population is starting to drop there and how the males of that culture are terrified of females, maybe. Shit. That’s grim.

Or like in Stein’s Gate, where you have Okarin and his companion making out. It’s a great scene (aside from the TERRIBLE music in it. It honestly would have been better without it), but I kinda would have liked to see maybe the two having a heart-to-heart after getting physical. There was a running line up ’til then about both of them being virgins. How touching would it have been if they lost their virginity to one-another, right before Okarin has to sacrifice her to save his best friend? I can see them just laying in bed, with that witty dialogue between the two about the cruel nature of life and how they have this one chance to bridge the gap between them and must savor it forever. There is some subtle implication that that is what happened between the scene with them making out and later that evening as she is leaving, but I don’t know. Kinda wanna know what those two talk about post-sex. Bet it would be fascinating.

My point is can we have some more mature relationships, and get to see some of that be expressed? I don’t want it to be obscene. Unless that is being used to make a point. Like a couple who has a very untethered and violent relationship. Kind of the Joker and Harley sort of deal. That could be interesting. But can we not treat every kiss or seeing of a female in underwear like it is the end of the world? I cannot wait to see the comments I get about how I am insulting Japanese culture or some dumb thing.

I haven’t done a post about religion in FOREVER! No joke, it’s been a long time. With all the insanity from the SJW community, I suppose that religion kind of took a back-seat. No surprise, really. The religious community in America has gotten very quiet lately. Sure, there was the stupidity with Josh Fuckstain and his threatening violent revolution now that gay marriage is legal in all the States. But I felt no compulsion to respond to that, because other people did that already and in a way much better than I on my written word site (which has made me so obsolete, since everyone is on YouTube now) could realistically do. However, I was thinking about something recently – porn. I know, I’m a guy in my late 20’s. I’m sure this shocks you. Let me explain.

It always amazes me when parents get freaked out when their kids look at porn. Mine did. Parents, I got a little piece of advice for ya – your kids are going to one day look at porn. And that’s okay. It’s one of those normal things associated with growing up. Not just for guys, but girls too. I did a poll of my friends, and the average age that both my male and female friends first saw porn was in their early to mid teens. Unsurprising, given the world we live in. So yeah, parents of all ages, your children are one day going to look at porn. It’s a totally normal part of finding their sexuality. If you want to sit them down and explain how fake porn is, that’s fine. But you’re just gonna have to make peace with them looking at porn. Trust me, it’s gonna happen anyway.

When religious people talk about how evil porn is, it always makes me laugh. Just talking about Christianity (which I grew up with), and given how utterly sexist the Good Book is, the fact that they are able to make the argument that porn is a bad thing baffles me. Did the verse about how the woman is to be silent (1 Corinthians: 14) or how the wife is absolutely a servant to her husband and must give him children or it is a shame unto her (Genesis 3:16) or that lovely story where Abraham rapes his slave because his wife can’t give him babies, and God tells the slave that she should serve her master and mistress however they deem fit (Genesis 16). Oh, or the fact that God views women as the cause of all evil (1 Timothy 2:11-14). It just seems really weird that Christianity claims to be for the purity of women, when there is a passage in their holy book talking about how women are the cause of all evil and unclean. Funny how that works.

Then there is their beef with masturbation. This goes back to a story in the Bible about a man who jerks off and lets his seed touch the ground. That’s just nuts! Is the implication being that all sperm is sacred? If so, then here’s a funny thought – men are serial-killing potential infants. Here’s a neat fact – the average sperm regeneration cycle is 74 days. Unless you produce offspring at least every 74 days, your sperm is dying and being remade. Those are potential babies that didn’t happen! You sick bastards. Not to mention, once a month, women go through a fertility cycle where their unused eggs are washed out of their body. As Carlin put it, “during those delightful few days.” Yeah, that’s about it. So, no matter who you are, man or woman, you are spoiling lives without your control. Don’t you feel like a piece of shit. Remind me how masturbation is the problem?

Hardcore Christianity’s views on sex are so alien, to me. Maybe it’s given that I was something of a romantic who put sexuality on a pedestal. Intimacy is one of the most enjoyable (and deluding into thinking you’ll find happiness. Love is a lie) things that a person can have in their life. And here’s something to know – women get way more guilty about rubbing one out than guys get about jerking off. Ladies, I will never know how that feels. I hear that female orgasms as so much more powerful than male. With that in mind – you owe it to the world to feel that! Have the stars explode and your brain and body go numb. I can’t do it, so do it for me! No joke, get that vibe or your fingers or however you do it, and go to town, girls! After all, we have to make sure that Jesus didn’t die for nothing.

In all seriousness, my pessimism about love and jokes aside, finding out who you are, sexually, is one of the biggest things you will ever do. The same for kids too. That’s why I tell parents to make peace with their children looking at porn. You can talk to them about it (I guarantee that will be an awkward conversation) or what-have-you, but don’t stand in the way of them learning about their sexuality and who they are. Take my word for it, one of the most emotionally-unsettling things that will ever happen is when they are unsure and are trying to figure it all out. Porn doesn’t judge a teenager for what they are into. It just helps them scratch and itch. One they, they will find someone to be with, and they’ll learn more about life. Until then, let the kids masturbate. Hopefully you were able to masturbate a lot as well. Hopefully you will do. It is proven to be healthy for you. So enjoy the teasing, ladies. And the jerking, for you guys.

Until next time, a quote,

“I have no right, by anything I do or say, to demean a human being in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him; it is what he thinks of himself. To undermine a man’s self-respect is a sin.” -Antoine de Saint-Exupery

I just found out yesterday about a new app. One that is making waves in the SJW community. See, this app is used so that couples who want to engage in intimacy can confirm that they consent. A nice way for one member of a couple to tell the other person that they don’t trust them enough to not have rape called on them. Or, that they aren’t trusted enough not to rape. Depends on who poses the idea, and why. Talk about a way to kill the mood. “Hey baby, I love you and all, but can we use this app to confirm consent, so in case you rape me, I can have clear and definitive evidence for the police?” Yeah, if someone were to give me that line, not only would I not want to get with them, sexually, I would probably discontinue speaking to that person forever. Because nothing says love like being told that you might be a rapist.

But there is a darker side to this. A side that has me genuinely feeling like I am looking into a dark abyss and that there is no way out. There’s no other side to this darkness, and to stare into it for too long is terrifying. And all of that fear is centered around something that each and every one of us has, right now. Some of you are reading this on it. Others have it nearby. But it is a part of each and every person who is reading this’ life, and it’s something that you can’t really escape. I’m talking about your phone.

When cell phones truly took off, there was a market that was being opened up. The tech got smaller and smaller, along with more and more advanced. It was new, exciting, and made each of us feel like we were in Star Trek, with our very own tricorder/communicator. It’s cool, when you think about it. More and more, we found new and better ways to use our phones. They became our entire world. Whole businesses can be run on one. A company can be made or broken based on what happens on your phone. Reputations can be destroyed based on what’s on your phone. The phone in your pocket or your hand controls your entire life. We have given this little piece of technology unimaginable power. It tells you where to go. It tells you when to go places. Don’t know how to do something? Don’t worry, your phone knows. Just go into the Google app and find out whatever you want to learn. Isn’t this product versatile?!

This app, however, to confirm that people consent to sex, shows me a darker side. A side that is genuinely frightening. Because it tells me that we may have hit a point where there is no return. A point where our ability to express our humanity is fading away. Because really think about it – you are giving your phone the ability to let you know that you wanted sex with someone. Really think about that. Your phone will be able to tell you – I wanted to have sex with that person. So, if you have sex with a person and it isn’t recorded, is that rape? Is that the direction we’re going? There’s a Pandora’s Box that is just waiting to be opened with this. Because we have given the little device in our hands or our pockets access to our personal lives. I’m not sure that any form of technology should have this kind of power.

The beauty of intimacy has been under attack for a long time now. Third-wave feminism has been breaking down all the triumph that the sexual liberation and second-wave feminism won, making sex beautiful and something for everyone. The poets and romantics who wrote great sonnets about love and how beautiful the expression of it is. All of these great minds who saw what I have always known, are now being rendered obsolete. They are being put out of our culture. Because who cares about body language and any of that stuff. Now your phone can tell you! Thank god. Because all that closeness and trust is just outdated, right? We live in the age of reactionary feminism. We live in the age where subtext and nuance are part of a dead language that means absolutely nothing.

I have had an argument with a friend tonight who disagreed. She was the victim or rape, and she thinks that this app is a good thing. It would give her safety. We had a rather heated argument. We’re unable to see eye to eye. She sees a way to keep herself safe. I see another way that we’re taking away all the emotional expression of humanity. Because what does that say about humanity, when we are turning intimacy and sexuality into a legal contract. That’s basically what this app does. It turns sex and love into a contract. A binding contract that says that this person either isn’t a rapist or didn’t accuse them of rape. What a world to live in.

So much of the beauty of the human experience is being given over to our technology. Everywhere I go, I see people glued to their phones. One of my biggest pet peeves is when I am out to dinner with someone and they get on their phone. Now, when our phones own so much of our lives, we want to give them this kind of power. All I see when I see a future with this technology is a future where love and closeness is nothing but a contract, that we make with our phones. Where trust means nothing and body language is outdated. That’s the world that these people want. A world where all of the things that make the human experience beautiful are just put on our phones. Because we can make love convenient. A quick verbal contract. My aforementioned friend said that sex already is like a contract. Am I in some minority who believes that that isn’t the case? Who sees intimacy as the greatest expression of our humanity there is? I guess I must be.

But don’t you all worry. When our ability to feel and express intimacy and emotion is dried up and gone, and we are left wondering where our humanity went, we will be able to deal. There’ll be an app for that.

Until next time, a quote,

“The mother of excess is not joy but joylessness.” -Friedrich Nietzsche

Let me say right off the bat that this is not a kind of relationship that is for everybody. An S&M relationship is among the most intimate relationship style there is. It also requires more trust than any other. Now, I am not some kind of big connoisseur of this kind of stuff. My late fiance and I dabbled for a while.

Here is where I figure I’ll give a little history. The last relationship I had was with an incredible woman. Camille was amazing in so many ways. When she died, it was something that I have never been able to truly walk away from. I am trying to get back into the dating world again, but it is hard to do. Now, while she was incredibly intelligent and incredibly different, Camille was also a deviant in a lot of ways. She had a libido that wouldn’t quit, and she corrupted me a LOT. I’m still an old-school romantic, only now, I’m a very dirty old-school romantic. We walked the S&M circuit for a while, and it was…intense, to say the least.

But back to the topic at hand, I gave the back-story as reference, so you can understand where I’m coming from. As I said, there is no form of sexuality more intimate than this. A lot of people have a lot of misconceptions about what S&M is, and how it works. So, I thought I would write this post and try and clear some of it up.

First, let me say that in order to have this kind of relationship, you don’t have to have pain. S&M isn’t about hurting. It is about submission and domination, as the name implies. But one thing that I HAVE to mention right now is that in this style of relationship, you are still equals in the relationship. There has been a lot of conflict on different S&M forums about this. I take the side that the Dom/Sub relationship begins and ends when you are in the act. At the end of the day, you have to have equality in the relationship, or it is doomed to fail.

Like I said, S&M doesn’t have to involve pain. It involves doing something that most people are completely uncomfortable with – giving yourself to a person completely. Putting yourself at their mercy. That can be expressed any way you like. It has to be something that you and your partner talk out. There was a post on The Amazing Atheist’s page that I really took a shine to about this. A girl who was a Sub wouldn’t tell her Dom what she wanted, saying that she was inferior to him. That’s a problem on many levels, but the one I will focus on is that if you don’t tell a person what you want, you needs aren’t going to be fulfilled. Like any relationship, it is about getting the most out of your time together.

This brings me to something that I want to mention – trust. I said that there is no relationship style with this amount of intimacy. Similarly, there is no relationship style with as much trust involved as this one. When you are a sub, you have to trust, absolutely have faith, that your dom isn’t going to go too far. You have to know that if you say the safe word, or tell him/her to stop, that they will. That’s how it works. In these kinds of relationships, you have a safe word or something to indicate that you want to cool off. The moment that word or action is taken, it stops. As a sub, you have to know that the person you are with will. It’s a hard amount of trust to bestow, because you are giving all of yourself to this person. That is an incredibly hard thing to do.

There is, however, not only a lot of trust on the dom, but also a lot of responsibility too. One of the things that I hate is the modern image that these kind of relationships have the dom as some kind of brutal slave-master. There are a lot of guys and gals (cruelty knows no gender) who get into this solely for the purpose to have control of somebody and mistreat that and abuse them. That isn’t what this is about. As a dom, you have a lot of responsibility to your sub. They are placing their trust in you. You have to respect that. But there is trust. You have to trust that your sub will let you know when things have gone to the point where he/she wants to stop. While you do have an obligation to know their verbal and physical cues to know when they are uncomfortable, you can’t be expected to read their mind. It can be very easy to get caught up in the moment. You have to know that they are going to be open with you, as you are with them.

As I said at the beginning, this style of relationship isn’t for everybody. In fact, there are a precious few who are able to truly get into it. I won’t say that it is the best kind, because it is all totally subjective. I would say that if you think that you and the person you are with can handle it, give it a try.

Love is a complicated thing. How it is expressed even more-so. Keep an open mind. In the end, it is all about finding your happiness with the person that you have decided to pursue. I may be a deviant on many levels, but I am also a romantic. I believe in finding love, and expressing it however you please. I just wanted to make this post to try and dispel many of the fallacies associated with this kind of relationship. Call me perverted or weird, but that is how I roll.

Until next time, a quote,

“Intimacy, as I am using it, is sharing my reality with you.” -Keith Miller

This was a question that was asked by The Young Turks in a recent video that they released. It seems that there is an effort to expand the technology of sex into the robotics field. Not a surprise, really. We all saw the film AI and thought to ourselves – yeah, I would fuck her, or him. The idea of a robot who you can share intimacy with and not have to worry about rejection.

It’s not easy to look for a relationship. For most nice guys like myself, we are often too rejected and too ignored that it gets to the point where we don’t even care anymore, that trying seems like a waste of time. Finding love is not something that just anybody can do, and do well. For the nice romantic who isn’t the David statue, this is even worse. I have known woman after woman who was very attractive and has told me that looks aren’t about everything. Care to guess what they were all dating? Hot guys. Yeah, I haven’t seen a hot girl who was with an average joe. It is an incredibly shallow culture. Now, both sides are guilty of this, but I see it a lot more with women than I do men.

For me, looks aren’t terribly important, so long as they aren’t to the point where it is ridiculous. I actually am not into really stick-figure women, but I don’t go for the ones who weight is such an issue that I know it’s unhealthy. I am working to keep my own shape in perspective, I don’t need a constant reminder of what can go wrong. I feel bad for them because they get the worst of what society has to offer in terms of being teased and insulted, but I’m just not attracted to it. For me, it is the mind that is the most attractive part. I couldn’t date some dim-witted airhead. I need to be mentally intrigued, I need to feel like I am actually talking to somebody and it is worth something. I hate small talk, and I can’t talk about nothing. Ironically, that is what small-talk is.

But back to the issue at hand – will robots replace women? So many guys give up, it is easy to understand why. But this is going to be a rather short post – no, they won’t. The reason why is simple – because underneath all of the physical, we will still realize that they are machines. For me, I am a romantic. I want a relationship that gives me all the intimacy of a real person. The tender moments where you are holding somebody after they had a hard day, telling them that you are there. The nights where you go to sleep talking and you look up six hours later and see the sun coming up and you wonder where the time went. Those looks that tell you how much you care about the person and how much they care about you. That is what I want.

I genuinely don’t believe that they could recreate that with a machine. There is something about the human condition that is tied in to how great a romance feels, and how much the two of you can get such enjoyment out of one-another’s company. Could such a thing be recreated? Is it possible to simulate the passion and the connection that a relationship has?

What is most likely is that scientists aren’t going to try and do that. The smart idea is to make a machine that is able to function like a prostitute, giving you sexual release, and feigning intimacy so long as the interaction happens, and then moving on. While on the short term, many men will find that enjoyable and probably seek it out, after a while, I think most guys, especially those like me, would realize that it was just a machine that they were being intimate with, and the enjoyment would quickly fade. You can only get so much from sex.

The truth is that a great relationship comes not from the physical, but from the emotional. I believe that there are three kinds of intimacy – physical, mental and emotional. You need two of the three at any given time for the relationship to work, and there always has to be two for it to last. I just don’t see a robot being able to fulfill that need in a way that makes sense. You could always tell that it was a machine.

Though, maybe I’m wrong. There could come a day when they create a robot like they did in AI, only with a fully-grown person rather than a kid, able to love you and cherish you. A robot that could be the person that you wished to have with you for all of your life. Still, there is something that I just can’t put my finger on that tells me that I would always know it was a machine, and could almost see the gears and whatnot working underneath of it that make it run.

So, that’s my opinion. The host of the Young Turks made a good point that a lot of guys would go to the robot instead of trying a normal relationship, but I disagree to the point that I think that a lot of the more shallow guys will, while the romantics will still be out there, trying to find the real kind of love. If anything, this will sort out the garbage from the true hearts. And a lot of the more shallow women will probably be the same as the shallow guys.

Where do you stand?

Until next time, a quote,

“But you haven’t answered my question. If a robot could genuinely love a person what responsibility does that person hold toward that Mecha in return? It’s a moral question, isn’t it?” -Colleague
“The oldest one of all.” -Professor Hobby, Artificial Intelligence

Just last weekend I got to have what I have called a “mini-vacation.” It was the most, and probably the only fun that I will get to have all summer. The thing about it is that now that it is done, I am truly lamenting it. I am truly lamenting the fact that the fun is over and that I now have to settle back into the groove of things, and the groove of things is honestly not all that fun. I am not very happy here at my residence right now. This part of Alaska (deliberately leaving it ambiguous. If any of you live in Alaska, you will probably know what parts suck and are filled with redneck idiots) is just not where I want to be. I want to return to Anchorage, to be back in my element. But at this little mini-vacation, I got to thinking about something that does mean something pretty important to me – what are the best parts of intimacy?

My aunt Joan believes that to keep a relationship working, at least two of three kinds of intimacy are required at all times. There is intellectual intimacy, emotional intimacy, and physical intimacy. I agree with her there. But for myself, I think it isn’t completely about the kinds of intimacy that you have, but also the things that are involved in it.

For those of you who don’t know, I think that sex is great. It is a great thing for people to get to have. We are one of two species that gets to have sex for fun. But in my mind, I don’t think that sex is where it ends. I think that sex is just another part of it. And to me, it isn’t the best part. It is a great part, don’t get me wrong, but the way I see it, there is so much more, so much emotional energy and power in some of the other expressions.

Getting back to my aunt’s analogy, I think that there are times that it is impossible for physical intimacy to be apart from emotional intimacy. Honestly, I think they are completely linked, but that is just me. And in my mind, some of the more simple acts of physical intimacy are much more fun and much more meaningful than just fucking. You see, there is so much emotion that is already involved in the act of making love that people sometimes forget why it exists. It establishes a bond between people.

This is why I have never understood people who can just screw somebody and have it be completely meaningless except for the incredibly short (in the broad scheme of things) activity that it is. If somebody comes to me and tells me that they are able to completely seperate their emotional from the act of making love, I honestly question the validity of their statement. And if it were possible for them to actually seperate it all out in such a complete way, then I would believe that some part of them is lacking in a significant way.

The thing about physical intimacy is there is so much more than just sex. Some people actually don’t get that. Some young people, and society in general anymore has now come up with the idea that sex is everything. If it does not fall into the real of sexual activity it is not part of what we consider intimacy. Or rather, what society considers intimacy. My thoughts on the subject are much different. There is a reason that poet throughout history have written so much about how two people can expres their love and have it be in a meaningful way. Sure, there are lots of books talking about how sex can be so pleasurable, but how many books are there talking about how the smallest moments can be pleasurable?

One of my favorite activities that I have while I am intimate with somebody (I am bisexual, after all, so I must make a distinction. Granted, I have never gone the distance with a man, but only just) is to watch them sleep. There is something so pleasant about watching the person who you are sharing a moment with drift away in the land of dreams that we all get to visit, some people more than others. But is such an enjoyable experience. Sometimes I wake up in the morning, and I can be perfectly content to just watch the person I am in bed with sleep away, gently held in dream’s embrace.

And there is just the experience of holding the one that you love. Whether it be a hug, or late at night, keeping one-another warm. Sometimes I can get lost in a moment of gentle holding after sharing a night of romance. When both of you need nothing more, when both of you are just happy to be in that moment together. There isn’t a young couple who is truly in love that doesn’t get that. The problem is that some guys don’t like that. Some guys don’t like the gentle moments. They just want their knob to get polished. And there are women who are much of the same mindset, albeit from the other side. They want the sexual pleasures.

For women, that does make a bit more sense. Women experience sex in so much more of a profound way than men. A woman can have an orgasm just from her mind, while a man must, absolutely must, have physical contact. So when they want the pleasures that comes with it, there is a bit of an understanding, because they feel it so much more. It’s still kind of sad, but it does make sense. But they fail to understand – sex is so temporary. Plus, if you genuinely care about a person, then it is the simple moments that can mean the most because they make you feel comfortable, not only with the person and the feeling, but with your state of being.

Being happy is a subjective concept. Intimacy is a HUGE part of that. That is what I think, anyway.

Until next time, a quote,

“Unless it really sucks, when two people have sex, they are likely to have it again. And it didn’t suck.” -Robert Chase, House M.D.