Bad enough for sleep school?

DD is 17 months. Since she was six months, she’s needed a feed and resettling overnight. At the end of last year it got really bad and she was awake for one to two hours overnight, refusing to settle. We went to sleep group (a three hour seminar thing) and implemented the strategies. She got better and would sometimes sleep through, other times still wake but settle straight away after a feed.

But now she’s getting worse again. She goes down reasonably well, but wakes around 1 for a bottle and then hates being out back in her cot. The last few nights she’s been okay because DH has settled her, but she just wails if I do it.

I cannot go back to how it was, it will push me over the edge. I know she’s not anywhere near as bad as some, so I feel guilty taking up a spot in sleep school when someone else has it worse!

Is this bad enough to go or should I wait and see if she gets better again?

If you're feeling like it will push you to the edge if her sleep changes for the worse again, it is definitely time to go. Don't think of it as taking someone else's place, it sounds like you need it. I went with my 7 month old and they had him sleeping through the night on the first night. They will help you move away from feeding overnight and hopefully make you feel confident enough to deal with the regressions when they happen.

We took our six month old and we had so many comments from people saying 'oh my kids are the worst sleepers I wish we could go to sleep school'... my response was well why don't you.. the one we went to was free!

One of my favourite mantras is "If it's not a problem for you, then it's not a problem". So I guess the opposite is true: if it's pudding you to your limit, then it's clearly a problem! There's a lot of anxiety tied up with sleep stuff, I'm the same my DS was shocking and although my DD isn't as bad as he was, I know how bad it can really be after months and months of no sleep so I'm trying to be more proactive this time around, even though she's 'only' up 3 times a night. Just do it!!

I think if her sleeping is doing your head in and making you miserable then maybe do it? But if its not bothering you dont worry about it. At least you will have support at the sleep school if you choose to do it

Go to sleep school. If it’s bad enough for you, it’s bad. It’s not about how bad it needs to get for her, but how it impacts everyone too. That kind of sleep pattern would do my head in. You poor thing. I’ve had a few nights where Both kids would party for a few hours, but thankfully they snapped out of it real fast. But that long? I’d go see someone.

I hope you get the sleep you need. Let them know the truth about how you’re dealing. If you go ‘ oh I can wait,’ they will make you wait ahead. If you need help now. You need to stress the impact it’s having on you.

I went twice in DSs first 6 months, for different reasons - I honestly believe it saved my sanity, both times

One of my biggest early parenting regrets was not going to sleep school with DS in the first 6 months. He needed it; I needed it and the lack of sleep nearly killed me, ruined my mental health and completely ruined my enjoyment of early parenthood.
One of my reasons was -surely others have it worse. No. All those who had feelings like I did were bloody sensible and at sleep school regradless of exxtly how many minutes their baby slept for or was up for or whatever. Focus less on the miniature of the baby;s sleep and more about the overall picture. Go!

I had an absolutely dreadful sleeper. At least 90% of his life was spent screaming, and he did not sleep. I asked to be sent to sleep school and was told it would get better. It did not get better and I do feel that the lack of support from my GP caused me a lot of anxiety and stress and this has affected everything since then.

Without knowing the particulars of your sleep school, most of these places would triage. If they thought someone was more important than your referral, they would accept that person before you. So you don’t need to feel guilty about taking anyone’s place. If you meet the criteria for the service they will tell you when they have space for you and you should use them guilt free.