A Civil Day For Gays

Same-sex Couples Recite Vows For Unions That Now Have Official Connecticut Approval

October 02, 2005|By DANIELA ALTIMARI; Courant Staff Writer

From Hartford, where carnations and applause greeted newly joined couples, to tiny Washington, where two women who have been together for 38 years celebrated with cake and champagne, gays and lesbians ushered in Connecticut's landmark civil union law on Saturday.

``It's a historic day and we wanted to be part of it,'' said Lidia Agramonte, 47, who arrived at Hartford City Hall at 7:30 Saturday morning -- 90 minutes before the doors opened -- with her partner, Maria Gomez, 50. The New Britain couple held a small ceremony in Bushnell Park several hours later.

Hartford officials hung a rainbow flag over the entrance to city hall, set out a table laden with juice and coffee and were ready for hundreds of couples. Only 26 showed up. Among them was Art Feltman, a Democratic state representative from Hartford, and his longtime partner. The clerk's office was one of a dozen or so holding special Saturday hours to accommodate couples seeking civil union licenses on the day the law took effect.

Connecticut is the first state to grant legal recognition to gay couples without a directive from the courts. Massachusetts, which permits gays to marry, and Vermont, which authorizes civil unions, were reacting to judges' orders.

Two noon rallies outside the state Capitol protested the new law. One group felt civil unions should not be allowed and the other said that same-sex marriage should be permitted.

Inside Hartford City Hall the mood was jovial. Couples, some with children in tow, took numbers and waited their turns in the marble corridor outside the clerk's office. When a couple emerged with license in hand, they were greeted with applause and handed a red-and-white carnation.

The national press largely ignored Connecticut's historic day, in sharp contrast to the high-profile treatment given to Vermont and Massachusetts, which drew reporters from as far as Japan.

To state Rep. Michael Lawlor, one of the measure's chief proponents, the low-key reaction signifies the public's increasing level of comfort with same-sex relationships. ``The big news of today is UConn beat Army, not civil unions,'' Lawlor, a Democrat from East Haven, said Saturday. ``The people of Connecticut are comfortable with this.''

It wasn't always so. Charlotte Johnson, 63, remembers a time when gays and lesbians were considered mentally ill. ``We come from the era where the best thing for us was shock treatment,'' said Johnson, who has been with her partner, Joan Gauthey, 72, for 38 years. ``We've come a long way.''

On Saturday, the couple hosted a party with 200 guests in their hometown of Washington. Gauthey, a retired physical education teacher, began the festivities by blowing a coach's whistle. After Gauthey and Johnson recited vows and exchanged rings, the crowd tossed birdseed and blew bubbles. The cake, baked by a member of their church, was topped with a tiny statue of two brides.

Anne Bladen and Jill Barton of Hampton opted for a simpler celebration. They wore jeans and denim shirts as they briefly exchanged vows in the courtyard next to Hartford City Hall. Their 7-year-old son, Lucas, stood between them as Mayor Eddie Perez looked on.

``Do you, Jill, take this woman, Anne, to be your lawful joined partner, to love honor and cherish her through sickness and in health, through times of happiness and travail, until death do you part?'' asked Kelvin Roldan, a justice of the peace who works in city hall.

The vows came long after the commitment. Bladen and Barton have been together for 15 years. They have weathered a major medical crisis together. They are raising a child together.

And yet, having the state's endorsement of their relationship does matter, they said. ``It makes Connecticut feel like a safer place,'' said Bladen, standing in the warm October sunshine as Lucas chased pigeons nearby. ``It's not marriage yet, but we'll take what we can get.''

For many couples, the day was bittersweet. While thrilled to finally receive some legal recognition, they mourned the fact that the document they received was not a marriage license.

``It feels good but it doesn't feel like I think it will feel when we get married,'' Peter Tognalli of Manchester said after emerging from the city clerk's office with his partner, Bill Brindamour.

Civil unions provide many of the rights and responsibilities of marriage, but are not recognized by most other states and the federal government.

Brindamour, a retired school principal, said he was surprised by the depth of emotion he felt after receiving the civil union license. Still, he didn't cry.