When people find out I write for Deadspin, the first question I'm always asked is: "Why no pictures of David Ortiz in a motorcycle sidecar?" So I've decided to address this once and for all, even though the photos are a couple of days old. It was all part of the Red Sox's triumphant return to the White House last week to be congratulated by President Bush. But how Big Papi got involved in the ridealong with Barney Fife is anybody's guess.