Thursday, December 13, 2007

Dear Santa,

I know you and the elves are getting ready to stuff the sleigh and take your annual 24-hour trip around the globe, so I thought I'd send you a letter to make sure you pack the right goodies.

God, it's been a long time since I sent you a letter. And I apologize for that. Really, I do. Sometimes I don't keep up with friends like I should - it's something I'm trying to overcome.

Now that we've got that out of the way, I'm sure you know I've grown up quite a bit over the years. You really brought me some great gifts when I was a little girl. I loved that little red shovel you brought me when I was about five years old. It was the perfect thing for a little girl living in Minneapolis - I could help Daddy! And when you brought Bridge and me our own Cabbage Patch preemies?!! A few years later you put a Whitney Houston tape under the tree for me. I can't tell you how many times I danced around in my room to How Will I Know and I Wanna Dance With Somebody.... that tape rocked!

The Barbies, the My Little Ponies, all of the Slinky's I broke, the Raleigh 10 speed - I loved everything you delivered to my house.

You sure had a knack with picking the best gifts in the past, but I don't know if that's the case these days.

I mean, sure - you've got the little kid thing down pat. Doll here. Bike there. But how familiar are you with what a grown woman wants stashed beneath the tree?

How many 31-year-old women believe in you?

I thought about rattling off all the gimme gift suggestions - perfume, purses, jewelry. Did you know electronic items are becoming a popular request among women? CDs, magazine subscriptions, cosmetics, clothes - those are all great options for someone needing to by a 30-something chick a gift.

But the truth is - I'm looking for something a little bigger.

Not something like a four carat diamond of a new set of wheels... Not even a man (though I'd love to find one with a great big bow underneath the tree).

The first thing I want is a little courtesy. What happened to the days when people were pleasant with one another? What about those days of lore when we didn't toss out snide remarks and insults like they were snot-filled tissues? I would just LOVE one day of people treating each other in a selfless, polite manner.

Do you think you could wrap up a decent '08 presidential candidate? I am hoping you deliver someone whom I can belive in proudly. I want a candidate who is honest, genuine and a little less ego-centric than some of our previous (read: current) presidents. Bonus points if they are an independent thinker and prepared to turn around the tarnished reputation our nation has beyond North America.

Santa, I'm also asking for a bright, shiny, new restaurant I can enjoy on a regular basis. I'd really like a restaurant (not a chain) with a unique menu and a casual atmosphere. I want this restaurant to be really, really special - the kind of place that will make me the envy of all the other kids once they hear that I'm a regular there. The ideal restaurant would be gourmet and cheap - I know that's hard to find - but if any man can deliver, you're the guy...

The biggest thing I want this Christmas is actually a gift you can give my new niece, Maevey Bean. The doctor says my two-month-old niece is going to need heart surgery in two weeks. That's much sooner than a previous target of next August. The doctor says more surgery is likely down the road and he's even going to put Miss Maevey on the list for a heart transplant (just in case)... as you can see this is a special situation that needs and deserves your utmost attention. That's all I really want for Christmas: for my niece to experience a simple procedure with no complications. I'm also hoping she grows strong and healthy so I can some day tell her all about you.

I know I haven't always been on my best behavior this year, but I've really tried to be a good girl - and this isn't really all about me, anyway. This is about my niece Maeve, and she's only two months old - so you KNOW she's been a good girl.

So when you're done delivering all those Operation games and X-Boxes and ping pong tables, please remember me and my niece.

Because I fully expect she'll be sending you letters for years to come.