EASTER SEALS MIDWEST

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Finding My Voice on iRacing

I've been a member on iRacing now for almost three years now. The racing has always been close, exciting, and sometimes frustrating. How close can the racing be? Here's a photo of a finish I had with Travis Powell for the win:

So yes, it's been a fun run, but it wasn't until recently that I utilized one of the features of iRacing and that is the voice chat.

For the longest time I raced in silence; I could hear everyone else but I refused to put on the headset. This was much like when I started playing on Xbox Live in that I was terrified of speaking as who am I to talk? Who am I to say anything? And, if I did talk, would I be yelled at?

I always found it strange that I could communicate so freely over the Xbox, but this new game and new system changed everything. Perhaps this was because I wasn't my gamertag but rather, quite simply, Aaron Likens. Perhaps it was the system in that one must hit a button to key up the microphone and only one person can speak at a time so, perhaps, this intimidated me because I have never been good at timing in conversations. Whatever the case might have been I never spoke. That is, until last season.

iRacing introduced a "fixed set-up" division of the IndyCar and I, for better or worse, became addicted to it. Where as before I was usually running fourth, fifth, or sixth now I was competing at the front. In these races, however, a lot of time is spent under the yellow flag and there are usually conversations during these periods. I would hear the conversation going on and usually I would be compelled to respond, but the only way I could was with my keyboard but typing and driving is something that can go real bad real quickly.

The typing game persisted for about a half week and then I finally gave in and put the headset in. It was a little intimidating at first, now having a voice instead of toneless words, but slowly it became easier and easier to speak.

I'm amazed it took me this long to finally find my voice and I'm surprised that all my years of racing on the Xbox didn't allow me to instantly find my voice on iRacing. I still struggle at times, even more so when there are multiple people engaged in a conversation because, still, my timing is always off. I always feel as if I'm stepping on people's toes as if conversations were a dance and I don't know about you, but I wouldn't like having my toes smashed. However, it's now been about eight weeks since I started speaking and I am much more comfortable now then I was and each race I feel more and more at ease.

Here's what I find odd about this; when I started on Xbox Live I had just been diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome not more than four month prior. I knew I was a horrible speaker and my words were always forced or rushed. Now, almost eight years later, I'm a speaker for my job and yet going into a new environment, even though I had spoke over Xbox for many many years, I was unable to speak.

To close I do have to say one thing that bothers me on iRacing. Sometimes, when a person gets wrecked, they expect an apology. This is fine, but often times someone will either say or text, "What, got no mic to apologize? How convenient." Perhaps they do but perhaps they're like me. And this example can be used outside of iRacing, which is why I'm writing this today, but perhaps they have the mic but are unable to speak. Perhaps they are listening but the fear of speaking is too great. With silence you can never tell, but I know I was in that place and trust me, I wish I would have spoken up years ago as perhaps I'd have made new friends as well as speaking after a race enhances the comradery, even more so after a thrilling race, but I was unable to. After being on both sides of the wall I will never get mad if someone wrecks me and doesn't apologize orally because, in life, we can never tell what is truly going on and on the offshoot chance that person on the other end is on the spectrum I know if I get angry they will become less and less likely to find their own voice. I know that's true because I was there.

2 comments:

What? They DEMAND an apology for an accident in a game...? I know it's annoying when something like that happens and it's nice if someone apoligises, but seriously... It's a game. Get over yourself. I haven't got an Xbox 360 of my own (which is a shame, because I'd like to game with you sometime), but I've played at my ex's house (yes, we broke up 2 days ago T_T) a lot of Halo Reach.Trust me, there are some real bastards out there. Some make mistakes and want you to apoligise for walking in their way while you were supposed to be there. Or they kill you, you kill them back and they get angry.Supid stuff like that.

Aaron, if someone gets angry at you, it doesn't always mean they're right. It doesn't mean they are justified. Some people seriously just need to be ignored. (wanted to use stronger terms here, but decided not to, since I wouldn't want to defile your blog)

Many people take iRacing seriously because it costs far more than your average Call of Duty or Halo game, and its members are expected to be good sports toward each other. Races take upwards of an hour, you can't press the A button to skip the "boring parts," and there's no reset button. Being involved in any crash is frustrating, and in the community its a common courtesy to apologize if you caused the crash.

iRacing is more of a virtual motorsport than a video game. If the most of your game experience is with Halo Reach, you have no idea what iRacing is like.

Who I Am

Hello, my name is Aaron Likens and thanks for visiting my blog. I am the Autism Ambassador for Easter Seals Midwest and also the author of the book "Finding Kansas. My passion in life is to raise the awareness and understanding of the autism spectrum through this blog as well as the many presentations I give. For myself, as much as it is a passion, it is personal because I was given the diagnosis of Asperger's when I was 20. Back then there wasn't much info and I fell into a pit of despair. I stayed there for 15 months but then I eventually discovered myself through writing and now here I am and here you are on my blog. There are well over 1,000 posts on this blog as I started blogging in March of 2010. So whether you're reading today's blog, or are skimming through stories of the past, I hope that your time here gives you a better glimps of what living life on the autism spectrum, or, "other side of the wall" is like. If you do like what you see please follow me on Facebook as that's where I share when I've written a new blog as well as announcing where I will be presenting. Please note that the opinions expressed on this blog are mine and may not be reflective of Easter Seals Midwest.

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Finding Kansas Revisited

To mark 10 years since I started writing my book I did a blog series with my thoughts from today on what I wrote then. This was the first time I ever read anything I had ever written.

The Sunglasses Experiment

I ran a sunglasses experiment to judge why eye contact is so difficult. I wore them for about 15 days, then I switched back to my normal glasses to see how big of a difference there was. By clicking my picture you can be taken to the page that has the complete experiement all in one place.

About Me

I am the Autism Ambassador for Easter Seals Midwest and also the author of Finding Kansas: Living and Decoding Asperger's Syndrome. My passion in life is raising awareness of Autism Spectrum Disorders and to help the world understand how the mind of a person on the spectrum works. I can do this because I am on the spectrum (Asperger's).
I was diagnosed at the age of 20 and after the diagnosis a lot of my quirks made sense. I didn't understand who I was though and went into a deep depression. Through this depression though I became very keen on my inner self and I started to write. I wrote and I wrote and before I knew it I wrote a book.
5 years later I am, among other things, giving presentations to police, teachers, and parents and am now starting my quest on making the best blog possible!
The views on this blog are mine and may not be reflective of Easter Seals Midwest.
If you have any questions, or comments, or have an article idea please email me at aaron.likens@yahoo.com.