Thursday, December 13, 2007

It is always sad when an obsession meets its fatal end. And this case is no exception. Matty Weave has spent countless nights, and bathroom breaks at the high-end architectural firm he is employed by, thinking of ways to make Jessica Alba coo. Dirty, dirty ways. So when it was reported this week that she is preggers by another man, we at ATLWeekly knew it had deeply penetrated Matty's vulnerable ego, and heart. We commemorate what once was, 'cause that's how we do.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

We'd like to give a big ups to the dudes over at Dry Ink for winning Atlanta Magazine's Best Webzine. While still a bit miffed we weren't mentioned, we think they deserve this way more than any other asshole blog in this fair city. Way to go guys!

Friday, December 7, 2007

Could there be trouble brewing between Atlanta's best looking bartender and her door-keeping boy toy?

According to our sources, the answer is yes - there seems to be quite a bit of ice forming between these festive lovers. Recent spys snapped the following pic last weekend, and it looks like J's been Ho, Ho, Ho-in' it with the fat bearded guy. Even more shocking (!!!) is that D's way more into the bitch he's holding than Santa, the Elves, and J's hooch combined. The proof? Later in the day some massive howling was heard coming from behind Aurora. Talk about throwing a dog a bone!

Forget puking and laxative loads. Local heartslob, Ben ThrowHer, has found a new way to stay slim. Never one to turn down a Ho-Ho or Snacky Cake, he’s been keeping his oval-ish figure by performing impromptu street workouts. In fact, last week he was seen doing Kettlebell Thrusts in the El Bar parking lot while saying, “This burns like four calories per second,” and, “How my pecs look? How my pecs look, bitches!!”

And frankly, they look good - all his random pumpin’ has paid off. Not only with the “bitches,” as seen above at local celebutante Lizlow’s Southern Comfort Birthday Party. But he’s also got a series of fitness tapes in the works, all aimed at firming up flabby scensters. According to IMDB, the first release will be entitled "Buff Ben’s Barstool Boxing". Let’s hope that shit’s on iTunes!