6 steps to arouse her

1. Time to talk

To get the party started your lovely lady doesn’t need you to massage anything but her ego. “She needs psychological cues to reinforce how desired she feels, which comes from what you say to her early on,” says Dr Margaret Rees, consultant gynecologist at the John Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford.

2. Build trust

Her sexual arousal is controlled by the parasympathetic nervous system that needs a hit of oestrogen and oxytocin to fire it up. “These produce feelings of well-being and trust,” says Rees. University of North Carolina research found a hug lasting 20 seconds or more gives her the injection she needs.

3. Brain on!

After playing hard to get, her hypothalamus officially admits that she’s sexually aroused. It shuts down the ACC (her brain’s worry-centre to you and me) and both the hormones testosterone and dopamine are released, causing a hormonal high. You have a green light. Go, go, go!

4. Lip synch

“The part of a woman’s brain in charge of her lips is larger than the area that controls her genitals,” says neurologist Dr Michael Green. As long as you haven’t used that as an ice-breaker, you should now be enjoying a passionate kiss. Make this last; it’ll arouse her more than a free trolley dash in Selfridges.

5. The flood

Now the most private of her parts get the message too as parasympathetic impulses from her brain release more hormones, while increased levels of oestrogen in the blood stream makes her moist. Blood-flow to the region increases and the whole area, particularly the clitoris, becomes supersensitive. So be gentle.

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