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Re: Night wean 8 month old

I want to stick with some facts. Breastfeeding is a primary nutrition source before the age of one. Night feeding affects milk supply, nutritional intake, emotional health, hormone regulation for mother. Breastmilk has different properties at night that are most beneficial for baby. Human beings, particularly babies, are meant to wake at night. There is a nutritional need for night nursing, although comfort nursing is still valid as it produces both a relaxation and sleep hormone that the body is primed to expect.. Because breastfeeding is a primary nutrition source it should be fed in demand, no questions, for the first year of life. Fact on a note outside of breastmilk, sleep training that involves extended crying is harmful and has life long effects (I can show research if desired). Breastfeeding at night I'd a real need that LLL recognizes.

There are always better choices than night weaning and sleep training. I can give you 3 documents to help with sleep ideas/information if you'd like.

Re: Night wean 8 month old

here's an article in which Dr. Sears gathers some of the research done on CIO and its effect on brain development: http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/fus...uld-be-harmful
it is science based and very convincing.
when I look back at my own life and my adult reaction to stress and knowing I was a CIO and crib baby, it all makes too much sense! I wish this info would have been available to my mom. She's very loving and I know would have made different choices had she known the harm CIO can produce.

Re: Night wean 8 month old

Here is the one on finding balance, a rough draft a friend is working on, in progress:

Exhaustion, fatigue, stress, lack of support - As mothers we deal with so many compounding issues that ultimately affect how we parent and how we feel about ourselves and our children. Traditionally and in other cultures women are surrounded by other women. They have help. Our society is isolating especially for mothers. We are expected to be perfect yet we dont have the support of other women in our homes, asking for help is often thought of as a sign of weakness or just embarassing, and there are so few laws and policies that support mums - in fact quite the opposite. So when we are suffering from lack of sleep it can really be an extremely cumbersome burden.

So faced with feeling like a total wreck and not having easy access to altermatives we have come up with a cultural ''fix''. Sleep Training. This can take many forms but the two most predominant forms are: Cry-It-Out and Night Weaning. Cry-It-Out is when a parent allows their child to cry to sleep. It has many variations from patting the childs back while they cry to shutting the door and not looking back. The ultimate goal is a child who is less dependant on their parents at night so the parents can get more sleep. Night Weaning is when a parent makes the decision to wean their child off of night feeds with the ultimate goal of a child who wakes less often at night affording mum more sleep. Often, but not always, this too involves tears. In this article Night Weaning refers to a behavior that is influenced by caregivers and not child-led weaning. Children will in fact wean and they will learn to sleep at night mostly undisturbed , without our influence, without training, in their own time. (studies)...

Cry-It-Out and Night weaning are indeed a cultural phenomenon. In most cultures across the world children co-sleep and children wean at ages 4-7. So what does this really mean? Perhaps that Cry-It-Out and Night Weaning are a parent and societal induced phenomenon. That they are not physiologically normal. When considering taking part in these parenting decisions we can, and should, follow a three step protocol because this choice really will be significant in our child's upbringing.

Step 1: Finding Balance

The first step is finding balance and this is definitely one of those items that sounds easy but is more difficult in practice. We start here because when we make any decision that is life altering, and indeed starting the weaning process on a forced schedule or altering brain chemistry and child development through tears are life altering , we should make such decisions in a place of calm. Making decisions when we are stressed, tired, and overwhelmed is far from ideal.

This means we have to pull out all the stops to come to a place of balance and for most mums this means getting some sleep. I guarantee most women are going to hate this suggestion because asking for help has heavy cultural implications and most of us have anxiety about doing so. Remember, This is for your child!

A. Make an email or facebook list of all friends and family both new and old. Include play group, LLL moms, etc... And send out a message. Maybe you need someone to watch your child for an hour after you get off work , giving them a bath, while you get a nap. Maybe you need them to cook dinner so you can go to bed an hour earlier. Maybe you need them to be there on the weekend so you can sleep in. Be creative and find a way to get some sleep. It WILL require sacrafice. Working mums may have to give up an hour of precious interactive play time. It is only temporary. Enable consistent help for one full week. You can promise to return the favor in the future once you get this worked out but nothing for the next two months. If you absolutely cannot bring yourself to ask for help then you can hire someone. It may mean disabling your cable, cutting back on the food or gas bills, or other financial sacrafice so get creative. At one hour a day, 10$ an hour, 7 days a week - we are looking at 70$, not bad.

B. If you have a partner they need to help at night during this week. They can do some night soothing or just be up with you and get you water to help cut the stress. Whatever works, they have to sacrafice too. They are encouraged to not be frustrated about this until you are in a place of balance. The goal is to help you relax and not make the situation more difficult or tense.

C. Take the easy nap time route when it comes to putting babe down. In this circumstance easy means most likely to induce a nap and not necessarily convienent for you. The goal however is the quicker the better, so you can get some temporary relief. Drive babe to sleep or walk them to sleep. Chase them for twenty minutes to get some energy out then drive or walk them.

D. Avoid power struggles, during this time just let babe have all the attention and play they want. Don't battle over eating veggies, or putting on jacket, or bath time. Let babe win as much as safely possible. If you have started any new routine, weaning, seperate room sharimg etc consider stopping until sleep issues are resolved. This will all help them return to a place of balance too.

Step 2: Informed Decision Making

Once you are filling a little more human and a bit less like a mom Zombie you can proceed to step two. Information gathering. Remember during this stage you don't want to stop all your sanity savers. So find a way to keep your balance until we can get these sleep issues worked out. You may not be able to keep it all going, but absolutely commit to one or two of them.

This stage is about making an informed decision. As parents it is our responsibility to know what effects our decision making will have on our family and children. We are not looking for support forums/groups right now or how-to's. We are looking for researched factual information relevant to our potential decision. In Part Two of this article I've put some information together for you. I encourage you to look for additional information as well. The goal is to find information that will leave you feeling like you can back your decision up, that it is safe, that the effects on your babe are positive.

A. There has been some really important research and opinion literature conducted on the cry-it-out method so I have gathered as much of it up as I could and put it in one place for you to browse through. The opinion literature collected are those peices that are in line with the research.

B. Here is the crux. There is little researched information on night weaning so we have to look at issues of weaning, child development, and sleep and put it together. I have attempted to write out some of the most critical elements of this literature for your information gathering.

Step 3: Implementing A Sleep Plan

Once you have read the research it is time to decide what type of sleep help you are going to engage in. Sleep Training or Baby Kind Sleep Resources. Then proceed in creating your sleep plan. My hope is that after finding balance and reading the facts about the detriments of sleep training you are looking for an alternative. If you have decided to continue with sleep training please remember that if you try it and it doesn't work or doesn't feel right you can change your mind at any time. For those of you who need sleep help and are now (or always have been) committed to not sleep training there are resources for you! Part Three of this article explores Baby Kind Sleep Resources. Ideally you will stick with your Baby Kind sleep plan for two weeks before deciding to alter it if necessary. Remember it takes time to for new habits. If during this time you are once again feel exhausted and overwhelmed perhaps it is relevant to consider what else in your life is contributing to such feelings. Perhaps joining a supportive mother's group will fill in a much needed gap, perhaps you need to find a way to make work/housework less stressful, perhaps you need a once-weekly trip to the local swimming pool, or perhaps you need to get some pain management help from a chiropractor. There are a variety of stress relief solutions that will not affect the relationship you have with your child.

Ultimately, when deciding to bring life into this world, we all made a commitment to our children to care for them, meet their needs, and do right by them. This three step plan can assure we are honoring our commitment to our children. Why would we do any less?

Re: Night wean 8 month old

No-Cry Sleep Ideas:

Sleep Resources
by Attachment Parents of Lane County on Wednesday, September 14, 2011 at 6:48pm
When a parent feels like they need to work on sleep it is important they first educate themself on what normal infant sleep looks like. * Unfortunately many ''authorities'' get it wrong. *While at it one might as well research the harmful effects of cry-it-out methods. * After one does that I find a 3 step model works best to helping better a sleep situation.
*
1. Find a way to get balance. This often means finding a way to get in a parent-nap, assessing for breastfeeding complications such as pain, getting adequate nutrition (particularly snacks and water on top of meals), and reducing stressors.
2. Improve quality of relationship with child. This often means undivided attention and working on other potential issues (such as hitting mum). Many moms find it useful to set a timer for 15-30 minutes while they engage in uninterrupted child-led play.
3. Work on sleep solutions. I'll list several below.*
*
Bedtime Routine
A consistent, multi-faceted bedtime routine has been linked to helping*babies sleep at night. So choose a bedtime routine that has multiple steps and be consistent with it. Repeat the routine each time baby wakes and most parents will see results in a couple of weeks. Don't expect a perfectly sleeping baby, just improvement.
*
Bedshare
Researchers report that mothers who bedshare say they sleep better at night. Although there may be more night wakings when bedsharing, babies tend to be awake for shorter periods of time and during that time parents typically half-wake or sleep through a breastfeeding. Babies who bedshare often tend to cry less at night.
*
“Pantley Pull-Off”
When your baby falls asleep while nursing, stick your finger inside your baby's mouth and gently remove your nipple. Baby may root for a second and then fall back asleep so give it a second; if it does not work out and baby is still rooting, replace the nipple and try again when baby next falls asleep. With practice, you can learn to sneak away as baby sleeps.
*
Foods for Sleep
This applies to babies who have started solid foods already; this is not an endorsement or recommendation for early introduction of solids. There are some foods that are beneficial for sleep and some that are not. Foods that are not beneficial, such as caffeine, should be avoided by breastfeeding mothers as well. Alcohol in mums diet, sugar, citrus can sometimes cause wakefulness.**Foods that help sleep include chamomile tea, bananas, oatmeal, almonds, turkey, whole-wheat bread.*Those with food intolerances can also suffer from poor sleep. Dairy and gluten sensitivities are most common and often unknown to parents.
*
The Heavy Wagon
Babies and children who are active and exposed to nature during the day tend to sleep better at night. If you have a moving baby or toddler, have them pull a wagon filled with heavy objects before bed. If you don't have a mover yet or this doesn't appeal to you, make sure they get both mental and physical stimulation before bedtime. Follow their cues and don't force it, but gentle encouragement can work wonders. If you notice your baby is working on a particular milestone, games that center on that milestone would be a great choice, providing both physical and mental stimulation. *Just as we adults have busy heads that keep us up at night so do toddlers and babes. Helping them work those things out during the day can lead to more restful sleep.
*
Sensory Improvement
Babes can be influenced by many types of sensory stimulation. Assessing a child for reflux and ear aches are two medical possibilities. Reflux can be dealt with using inclined sleeping positions. Some babes need warmer or cooler temperatures. Others need a firmer mattress or different night wear. Some need more noise such as a fan turned against the wall or a baby monitor set up in reverse. Some need less noise such as television sets turned off. If a parent feels they have tried all sleep methods it may be worth looking at a sensory integration disorder checklist. Some children are hyper or hypo sensitive in specific areas that once identified can lead to changes thar will affect sleep.
*
Time Outdoors
Our circadian rhythms, that physiologically guide our sleep cycles, benefit from outdoor exposure on a daily basis. This includes rainy dull weather. If one simply can't get out a temporary solution is play in front of an open window.
*
Undivided Attention
Sometimes babes need more undivided attention and seek it out at night. It is really easy to continually multi-task. Set a timer for 30 minutes and give babe undivided attention, let them lead the play.
*
Sleep Begets Sleep
A good nap can make bedtime much easier. Contrary to some public opinion babes do not sleep better when their nap is missed.
*
Change Your Mommy Mantra
When your child wants to nurse what goes through your head? If it is not positive then you may want to try actively replacing it with something else. Our runnigncommentary has a huge affect on how we parent.
*
Safe Surroundings
Children of all ages sleep better when they feel safe, happy, and have little anxiety. Life can be a struggle sometimes and in being one we may unknowingly create an environment that stresses our child. Some common triggers of this stress are: marital issues, smoking inside the home, drug or excessive alcohol use in the home, a noisy environment or ''high volume'' household. If any of these sound familiar you may want to consider finding a way to change that behavior. Additionally children who do jot have their needs met will often sleep worse. We often do not realize that leaving a babe to cry, using spanking as a tool for punishment, sending our child to bed without supper, not having enough time to play, being put in time-out before bed instead of hugged, etc.. May leave our child with unmet needs that impact sleep. Sometimes stress comes from outside the home such as from a daycare or school worker or peer. The less stress in a child's environment, the more their needs are met, and the more they feel safe the better they will sleep. We all have room to grow, there is no shame in making change.
*
Transitions
Some children are particuparly sensitive to transitions. We can help them by making our transition known ahead of time and going about it gradually. Maybe mom will sing a night time song and then tuen volume down and lights down around the house before starting night routine. When babe wakes mom can resing the song. Just like in Elimination Communication parents can use specific transition sounds to help a child understand a transition is taking place. Many children respond very positively to this.
*
Lovey
Some children benefit from introduction of a lovey. A lovey is a security object such as a doll or blanket that a child attaches to. It helps if mom can wear this in her bra every once in awhile so it has her smell. Then a parent will bring out the lovey during positive experiences such as nursing or play time until the child attaches to it. A chils then may wake and cuddle their lovey instead of always needing extea night parenting.
*
Deep Breathing
Breathing deep, meditation, child yoga, guided imagery can all help us become calm and ready for bed. *Deep breathing is the start. *It is part of the human condition, much like a yawn, where if one person takes a deep breathe then others follow. * So breathe deep around your child. *To teach this skill you may even have your child blow out a candle.
*
Alternative Therapy
Many many children and babes benefit from alternative therapies. The most common probably being chiropractic care. Ive heard countless stories of sleep coming from a chiropractic appointment. Others may include: cranial sacral therapy, aromatherapy, homeopathica, and massage.
*
Play It Out
Some parents choose to actively discuss sleep during waking hours, playing out the theme with puppets or dolls to help it become more normalized and accepted.
*
The Downs
Sometimes a babe simply needs help getting down to sleep. * It is okay to breastfeed a baby until they sleep. *Research shows it is not spoiling or problematic. *In fact quite the opposite. * Many moms find a birthing/yoga ball helps to bounce a baby down. *Others find their babe needs walked down. *Some do this by pushing a stroller arounf the house and others use baby carriers such as wraps and slings. * A traditional American method is to rock a bay down in a rocking chair. * These can still be effective as a babe reaches older ages.
*
Play Groups
Join a play group. *It'll help recharge you by giving needed mental and social stimulation. *It'll help your child exert energy through play. * The group should have parents who encourage you to understand normal gentle sleep and not ones who pressure sleep training or make you feel worse about your situation.
*
*
Books:
1. *The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley
2. Nighttime Parenting by Dr Sears
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Re: Night wean 8 month old

Originally Posted by @llli*mskalinin

I didn't wean my son completely at night, but I cut him down from 6-8 wakings to 1-2 at about 7 months old. Some crying was involved, but it only took about 2 nights before we saw dramatic improvement. He now only wakes at about 4-5am on good nights, or sometimes around 1 and then 5. Its much more manageable, I feed him and he goes right back to sleep. He sleeps in his own room all night. He is also way better at napping during the day now, and is in a better mood overall.

My husband did most of the work at the beginning. Anytime I go to my son he would not settle until I nursed him, but my husband could pat him and sooth him and he'd fall asleep.

We just did the same thing after our son was waking 4-5 times a night to nurse. My husband went in every time the first night and he settled back to sleep within 15 minutes. Last night he went back to sleep within 5 minutes and only woke up twice. I was getting desperate. I am so glad it worked! 1-2 times per night should be enough according to our doctor/ lc.