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10 Video Game Babes Who Are Hotter Than Kim Kardashian

Updated: 12 May 2016 6:56 pm

Kim Kardashian. Almost as attractive as a bunch of 1s and 0s

BY: Daniel Cutler

Girl Power

Ah, Kim Kardashian. Sometimes she’s hot, sometimes she’s, well, not. Either way, she’s famous for a whole bun-ch of reasons. Here, we’re going to look at some of video games’ most beautiful women. It’s hard to pick as, well let’s face it; all women have to be stunning to star in a video game. Don’t ask me why, I didn’t make the rules. I guess they have to have tight bodies because of all that running around us fat, slobby gamers make them do. Anyway, let’s get started, shall we?

10. Miranda Lawson – Mass Effect 2

Cutbacks in Cerberus means no staff can have trousers anymore. Great art by Alas-De-Metal

Super hot and super brainy can go hand in hand, and no one proves this to be true more than Miranda Lawson in Mass Effect 2. Okay, she has been genetically altered, which may be cheating a bit, but who’s complaining? Strong leadership skills and a forceful nature might deter some men, but she’s a perfect match for Commander Shepard-like people (yes, myself included!)

9. Jaina Proudmoore – WoW/HearthStone

Leader of the powerful group of magi, the Kirin Tor, Jaina has cast a spell upon many a gamer over the years. As the most powerful human sorceress alive, she’s not someone you’d want to upset, so don’t go forgetting anniversaries or anything like that. In Hearthstone, for a mere one mana cost, you can perform a ‘mirror image’ spell, effectively cloning two more Jainas. This makes it one of my favourite spells of the game.

8. Cortana – Halo

Any kind of lasting relationship with Cortana is going to be tricky to say the least, what with her being, you know, not real (yes, no one on this list is real I suppose, but let’s not go there). Originally cloned from a copy of scientist, Catherine Elizabeth Halsey, creator of the SPARTAN-II program, Cortana has human memories, thoughts and values. As the games progress, she looks less hologram-y and more naked woman-y. When’s Halo 5 out again?

7. Kasumi – Dead or Alive

Winner of the first Dead or Alive tournament, and a runaway shinobi, Kasumi is compassionate and kind, the kind of girl you’d take home to your mum and dad. She’s averse to fighting, probably because it’s too uncomfortable with all that ‘chest buoyancy’ she has to carry around and only fights if she has to; like when defeating DOATEC forces, or when loved ones don’t notice her new haircut or something.

6. Cammy – Street Fighter

I might get some stick here for choosing Cammy over Chun Li, or Chun-k Li, as I like to call her. I mean seriously, have you seen those thighs recently? No, for me it’s Cammy all the way. Firstly she’s English, so we have that in common. We could then go down the pub and have a few pints. She looks like a bitter drinker to me.

5. Lightning – Final Fantasy XIII

A deep and thoughtful young lady is our first entry into the top 5. Lightning from FF XIII is very independent, and will leave you behind if you can’t keep up with her. But for those of you who endure, she will open up and reveal her caring, compassionate side. Oh, and she’s incredibly hot too.

4. Ada Wong – Resident Evil

Little is really known about Resident Evil’s Ada Wong. She’s a secret agent with skills in espionage and assassination. She plays it cool, but I’m not so sure she actually is. Think about it, she always seems to pop up wherever Leon Kennedy is. Racoon City, Europe, dirty sewers, secret labs, she’s always there. I reckon she’s a total stalker. I bet she has a ‘Leon shrine’ in her bedroom, with a jar of his hair and doodles that say Ada Kennedy, or Leon and Ada 4 eva. Still, a definite hottie.

3. Samus Aran – Metroid

“Oh my god! She’s a woman!” I imagine was uttered by many a gamer in 1986 after completing the original Metroid game. Not by me, however. I’m far too young to have been playing video games in 1986. Still, I repeatedly played Super Metroid until I completed it in under 3 hours to get the ‘best’ ending. You know the one I mean. The first mainstream playable female in a video game, everyone else on this list owes Samus a pat on the back. Respect.

2. Tifa Lockhart – Final Fantasy VII

Tifa Lockhart is one of the playable characters in Final Fantasy VII. As a kid, you know she was one of the ‘popular’ girls, probably a cheerleader or something. She definitely has a few issues, resulting from the death of her mother at a young age, and despite being bright and optimistic, she also enjoys beating people to death with knuckle-dusters. Still with those amazing looks, it’s no wonder she’s so popular. Just try to stay on her good side.

1. Lara Croft – Tomb Raider

before she knew what a star she would be

Rise of the Tomb Raider will be here soon

There, of course can only be one winner, and that winner can of course only be, Lara Croft.

Before 1996, aside from our number 3, Samus, most video game women were either back ups to the male protagonists, or damsels in distress (Yes, I’m looking at you, Peach and Daisy. I mean how many times do you guys need to be rescued?).

Her backstory has changed a fair bit over the years, perhaps adding to her mystery and allure, but what’s for certain is she’s a highborn Brit with a thirst for adventure.

The media have, of course, focused on her numerous boob jobs over the years, which have seen both growth and reduction. Lara, of course, has risen above the gossip and never commented on the subject. I think the reality is that they were in actual fact, ‘boob bags,’ where she could store all those med packs and ammo she found lying on the floor around the world. Probably custom made by Versace or someone.

Final thoughts

Well there sees the end of my favourite 10 video game babes who are hotter than Kim Kardashian. As I look back over the entries, I realise that they are all not just incredibly gorgeous, but they are all hardcore ass kickers too. I guess I really have a type…or deep rooted issues, either way, I hope you enjoyed my top 10. Enjoy some more pictures of our winner here and let me know in the comments how my list compares to yours. Is it similar, or do you have a completely different view to me.

Here’s some more pictures of our winner. She just gets better with age.

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