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Posts Tagged 'donald trump'

In Republican-Land, the world is made up of patriots and snowflakes. The patriots like guns, meat, “man” things, empty storage facilities, coal mining, whatever the opposite of recycling is, and things with large horns. Snowflakes are made up of the “hilariously” devised acronym, “SJW,” sore losers who cry when they don’t get their way, and women — specifically the ones… Read More »

Everyone keeps talking about how they can’t wait until 2016 is over. And I get it. 2016 was kind of a shit hole year for common decency, society, human rights, the environment, most pop music, and my exercise regime. But I’m not losing myself in my 2017 calendar, full of blissful wonder. After all, besides a change in year (that I… Read More »

Okay. It isn’t funny anymore. I’ve been feeling kinetic. Manic. My anxiety is tangible; it drips down my fingers like the juice from a recently peeled orange. I stick to the table with it. I have energy but I can’t move. It’s either the election making me feel this way or this sick case of PMS I got. I could just be… Read More »

I’m compiling a list for those who may not be in the know. 1. If the pussy isn’t yours, you must ask permission. Why? Because they could bite you. Furreal, pussies are not playthings. Just as you would not approach a rogue kitten on the street and attempt to cuddle with it (for one, fleas) you should not approach a… Read More »

You could use many words to describe the 2016 presidential election. Perhaps you would choose, “long,” “terrifying,” or even, “egalitarian,” if by egalitarian you mean that you believe that all people deserve the right to become president… even the ones that don’t. Personally, I would choose, “crap,” “misleading,” and “can’t-you-just-kill-me-already?” But I respect your choices. I’ve stayed pretty silent this… Read More »

Today is GOP pride day. Don’t believe me? Well then explain to me the fact that the third and final (it is the final one, right?? RIGHT???) GOP debate will air tonight, as well as the nomination and position acquisition of Speaker of the House by none other than Paul Ryan – boy wonder of widow’s peaks and work-out enthusiasm. We… Read More »

Tonight marks the second Republican debate – this time hosted by CNN – this time still featuring idiots. It makes no difference what station these people appear on, though perhaps there will be less riotous applause from the audience when the contestants (because this is America’s greatest pageant) spew hateful rhetoric. Although, it’s still the republican debate, so I assume the… Read More »

Listen boys, I understand that people are out to get you. I really get how hard it can be, when you’re thriving and living your life, and other people just don’t seem to understand. Have you ever been called a douchebag? Ever been told you’re insensitive, or made to believe that you’re politically incorrect? Have you ever felt like your… Read More »

It all started with Megyn Kelly and her damn period. Wait, that’s not it. It started with a Fox News debate. Start isn’t the right word. There’s nothing new going no here, just fresh stories. The tsunami of bullshit and misdirection has merely continued on as scheduled, though with slightly blonder hair. It all continued, as it will, with Megyn Kelly… Read More »