Donald’s 2018 new phone keypad

We were able to get access to Donald’s new phone, courtesy of this photo from The NY Times Magazine. Donald was complaining that his tweets were just annoying people and not having any oomph. So the very stable White House staff was able to hook up with the help of the Alt Right War Machine and especially the KGB, to get him a time saver and “really big” phone.
Now his ever increasing alternative reality world is backed up with this “special addition” phone which has nuclear capability. No longer is there a “war room” where all the Department Heads and Military meet to assess a national threat emergency. That room is now obsolete and has been replaced by the private residence of the White House.
Trump is said to be very happy with the new phone. He has been telling people he can’t wait to use it.
“If my Tweets don’t change the world, my new launch button will”. Some aides were very much against this unprecedented and complete violation of established protocol, but they were reassigned for being disloyal.
We can all feel protected and safe because who knows more than Doanld Trump? Certainly not the FBI or CIA , or the NSA
He will instead rely on Breitbart News for political world wide news. We look forward as American to being protected by the armed Twitter. Happy 2018.