If I think the problem is that "they aren't empathic enough,” then I may be wanting more empathy in the world. I can create more empathy in the world by responding to them with empathy.

If I think the problem is that "they are too controlling,” then I may be wanting more choice and freedom. I can have more choice and freedom by giving myself permission to respond authentically and not agreeing to things I don’t want to agree to (regardless of what "they" are doing.)

If I think the problem is that "they are passive aggressive,” then I may be valuing direct, kind and aware communication. I can nurture that in our relationship by responding with awareness, kindness and directness and making it safe for them to be authentic with me.

Once we put our focus on what kind of person we each want to be, regardless of what may be swirling around us, we reclaim our personal power and live with integrity.

Love the rest of the world as it is and focus on what you are able to influence: Yourself.

Get out of their business, and back into yours.

Paradoxically, deciding to love others, as they are, with no demand that they be different, allows others to seek change and growth, on their own terms and for their own reasons.

Accepting people unconditionally in each moment is deeply soothing and makes growth far more likely.

Counter-intuitive, but true.

As our needs to be seen, to be heard, to be known, to be accepted are increasingly met, we respond like plants reaching for the sunshine: Growing and changing - not because we are flawed and avoiding judgment or rejection - but rather because we are loved and known and wanting to expand into more of that.