A Place to Relax

All the strength drained from my body with relief. As I stretched out, I let myself fall back on the floor with arms and legs spread wide. The final exams started tomorrow. Math was the one I was worried about the most but I felt I'd get through it somehow.

It was thanks to the fact that Tomo was good at teaching. No matter how he complained, I felt Tomo was actually very helpful. I said 'let's study together today' and invited him to my room, but in the end, Tomo had just been teaching me. Maybe Tomo wasn't able to do his own studying.

"Hey, Tomo, will you be okay on the exams?"

"Mmm.... Well, I guess it might work out?"

It was the usual vague answer. But Tomo was actually really smart. Even though all he did was sleep in class, he did better than me who was awake the whole time and studied. It was a bit annoying.

"You were a really big help, teaching me today."

"But it's because Professor Sakaki is making the math questions. He may put in more difficult problems than expected."

That was plenty possible, but all I could do was force a smile.

"Then, I'll be going back to my room now."

"Huh? Already?" I jumped up in surprise and Tomo pointed to the alarm clock on top of the bed. Uwah. It was already past 12 at night.

"There you go. Then, good night." With a big yawn, Tomo went back to his own room.

As I looked at the closed door, I felt a little disappointed at how very quickly Tomo had left. Before, when we hung out in each other's rooms, there were a lot of times we just stayed over that way, so I had selfishly imagined that somehow maybe today would go the same. But, well, it couldn't be helped. The exams were tomorrow and if he stayed over, we might end up wanting to do... that sort of stuff.

Tomo had specially helped me study. I had to get a good grade on tomorrow's exams. I decided I would hang in there a little longer and review Modern Japanese and Biology.

"Yaaawn." Shoot, it was already past 1. As expected, I had gotten sleepy, it was time for bed.

Hm? My cellphone rang with an incoming call. The display showed Tomo's name. I answered the phone and heard the usual, slightly sleepy voice. '...Sorry. Were you already asleep?'

"Uh-uh. I was just thinking of going to bed. But what is it so late? Did you forget something?"

'...No. That's not it...'

What could it be? He sounded like he was having trouble saying.

'Yuki. I have a favor to ask...'

"What is it?"

'Can I come to your room now?'

"Yeah, sure."

'Oh. ...Thanks.'

The call ended and I immediately unlocked the window. When we went to each other's room late at night, we always came in through the balcony. At times like these, it was convenient to be next-door neighbors.

As usual, Tomo came in through the balcony. He was dressed casually, in a t-shirt and shorts, and was holding a pillow under his arm.

A pillow...?

"Yuki, can I sleep with you here?"

I couldn't immediately think of a reply to Tomo's sudden suggestion. Sleeping together... after all, it meant that. But the way he had behaved before didn't seem like it at all. Could it be that he'd gotten in the mood after going back to his room?

Well... the truth was that I was feeling a little like that too, so I wouldn't really say no. It was true Tomo and I were lovers, and in a so-called adult relationship, or rather, in a relationship where we'd done those sorts of acts several times. But after all, I still wasn't used to it, and putting it into words was really embarrassing.... But when I thought about tomorrow, maybe we really shouldn't after all. But....

"Yuki?"

As I hesitated for an answer, having a dialogue with myself, Tomo peered at my face with a puzzled expression.

"Yeah.... Of course I don't mind...."

"Thanks, you're a lifesaver."

I lowered and hid my blushing face, then sat at the edge of the bed and waited, with my heart pounding, for Tomo to come sit next to me.

"Then, good night, Yuki."

Huh?

Contrary to my expectations, Tomo dropped the pillow he was holding on the floor next to the bed and flopped down right there.

"Good night!? And why on the floor!?" I asked in surprise, and Tomo looked back at me astonished. "Um... Tomo? Did you really just come here to sleep?"

"Yeah. That's right."

"But didn't you go back to your room to sleep just before?"

"Yeah," he murmured weakly and scratched his head in embarrassment. "I went back to my room, but I couldn't sleep."

"You couldn't sleep? You, the pro at sleep?" Normally, if I took my eyes off him for an instant, Tomo would be asleep, so I couldn't believe those words were coming from Tomo.

"Right now, the exams are about to start. Because of that, this dorm is too quiet."

"But it needs to be quiet to sleep."

"Normally that's true. But it wasn't normal where I was..."

"Where you were, you mean the orphanage?"

"When I was there, I was always in a shared room, and there was always someone making a racket. Because of that, when I can sense someone's presence or hear a voice, I'm calm as usual and can sleep. On the contrary, if I'm alone in a place that's too quiet, I get needlessly anxious, or rather, I start to remember unpleasant things...."

"So that's why you came here?"

"Yeah. I'm only saying this because it's you, because not being able to sleep alone is pretty lame." Tomo had an embarrassed grin.

"I see. That's why you can sleep at such a bustling school during the day."

"I guess."

I hadn't realized at all. At the same time, I suddenly felt embarrassed that I'd selfishly taken the words 'I want to sleep together' to have an impure meaning. I was thinking such stupid things while Tomo was seriously worried.

"Yuki, don't look like that. It's not really something you have to worry about."

It seemed Tomo thought my silence was because of sympathy for his circumstances. Tomo's consideration made me feel even more unable to stand it.

"Let's go to sleep."

"Yeah..." With a small nod, I sat back on the bed. "But, hey, Tomo. I know the reason you came here, but you don't really have to sleep on the floor, do you?"

"I'm used to sleeping on the floor, so it's fine." Tomo, who was trying to lie down, looked a little embarrassed.

"Don't be shy. I'm your friend. Just use half of my bed," I said, but Tomo said 'no thanks' and stretched out on the floor.

"But..."

At my persistence, Tomo muttered in a whisper as if it were hard to get the words out. "But if I sleep in the bed with you, I'll definitely want to do that..."

Do that. Was Tomo thinking the same thing as me?

"Oh... Tomo? I, um... when I heard you say you were coming here, that's what I thought, or rather, actually... I ended up really anticipating it, I mean.... So if you wanted to, I wouldn't say no...."

"...Geez, you're impossible." Tomo sighed loudly and ran his hand through his own hair, mussing it. "If you say things like that, I'm not going to be able to stop myself. Anyway, since the exams are tomorrow, I was trying to be considerate of you."

So that was it. Tomo was thinking the same thing as me. It made me happy and I unconsciously laughed.

"What's with that creepy laugh?"

"But it makes me kind of happy to know you feel the same way as me."

Tomo frowned as if in disgust, then immediately smiled too. "Then, how about at least kissing?"

"At least?"

"I mean, we can think about how things go, after the kiss."

Tomo was hesitant, and I brought my face close. "I see. That's a good idea." I grinned back at Tomo and our lips touched.

After the light, tentative kiss, Tomo embraced me and whispered in my ear, "After all, kissing isn't enough." He flopped down on the bed with me in his arms and then gave me a long, long kiss.