One of Joyce's early sculptures, "Prayer of Hope" was selected by Visual AIDS for inclusion in its 2001 Positively Art Calendar. Created using clay, fabric, and acrylic paint, the 11-inch-tall figure is of a woman, her red-turbaned head bowed, eyes closed and arms crossing her chest as she clutches a red cloth against her body. "The red is the blood of Jesus," Joyce explains. "She's covered by his blood, its protection. She has a sense of, 'I would worry, but I'm strong.'" Joyce created the sculpture shortly after participating in an art show for Balm in Gilead's Black Church Week of Prayer in 1999. "I was in a real prayerful state," she said, "and I just fully really understood how much prayer can change things." [Photo by Augustus C. Temple III]

Joyce frequently participates in shows throughout New York City, in which she displays her artworks, speaks and sometimes even sings her life story. Above, Joyce testifying for the first time, in 1998, at The Church of the Open Door. Some of Joyce's sculptures are on the table in front of her; in the background is her pastor, Rev. Dr. Mark V. C. Taylor, who himself has a strong background in HIV prevention education. [Photo courtesy the McDonald family]

"At the end of nine days I started looking through this art book," Joyce continues, sounding as though she were still amazed at what she found scribbled on those sheets of paper. "It was the deepest, darkest secrets of my life. Every scene that I had been through; some scenes you just wouldn't believe. That's how God had to work with me: Once I drew these deep, dark secrets that I didn't tell anybody, and once I showed somebody, I was bringing it out of the darkness into light, and I was getting freer and freer."

One morning toward the end of her time at Cornerstone, Joyce stood at the window, bathed in sunlight but consumed by sadness and regret. It was her father's birthday. All of a sudden, Joyce recalls, "it was like the light was coming through, and I said, 'Oh, wait a minute! I still have a father -- he's in heaven!'

"That was my moment," Joyce says. "That was the moment I saw it. I was so happy; my mother was all like, 'Did they give you brain surgery?' I was just so happy when I came out of there, I never looked back."

In 1995, less than a year later and still in recovery, Joyce's journey took another sharp turn: She was diagnosed with HIV. Despite the extremely high-risk lifestyle she led since she first ran away from home in 1969, Joyce never even considered the possibility that she may have been infected.

"In spite of a person's lifestyle, a lot of people are in denial; they believe they didn't even need to get tested," Joyce says. "Now, in my case, I should've been the first one saying, 'Please test me!'" she laughs, raising her hand. "But I went back to church and was getting counseling from [Rev. Taylor], and he said, 'Um, excuse me, Sister McDonald, but have you gotten tested?' And I'm like, 'Huh?' with a shocked look on my face.

"I almost felt insulted. I said, 'I'm not going into no health station' -- I didn't want anybody to see me go to a [public health clinic near her home]; it'd make me feel ashamed -- so he told me that he would take me to his private doctor. And he said, 'If it'll make you feel better, I'll get tested, too.' So I said, 'Well, if I ever think about doing it, I'll let you know,' but I still wasn't interested."

Shortly after Christmas two months later -- the 17th anniversary of her father's death -- Joyce woke up and heard his voice. "I heard, 'Joyce, go get tested. Go pay homage to life,'" Joyce recalls -- and she did. "They used to tell you that you don't go by yourself to [get tested], but I knew I had the Lord inside me, I could feel it. Ever since that moment I've never felt alone."

Joyce remembers the day exactly -- Jan. 13, 1995 -- when she went to the clinic alone to hear the results. The scene is crystal clear in Joyce's mind; as if remembering a dream from last night, Joyce begins to describes it: "[The counselor at the clinic where Joyce was tested] said, 'We have some not-so-good news for you.' She was like this" -- Joyce leans forward, her eyes intent, hands reaching out, voice dropping to a near-whisper before continuing -- "'You have tested positive for the virus that can cause AIDS.' I was like this." Joyce silently mouths "thank you." "I was really thanking God, because I know had I not received Christ, I know for a fact I wouldn't have been able to deal with it -- I would have killed myself."

Actually, Joyce considers herself doubly blessed, since through all of the trials of her past life, her family -- especially her mother, who Joyce says prayed for her every day -- never gave up on her. They embraced her without a second thought when she told them she was HIV positive. "My family is known for love," Joyce says. "[During the '80s and early '90s] I went in and out of detox, and each time I'd come out they'd have signs up -- 'Welcome Home!'"

"The Removing," by Joyce McDonald, 1998; watercolor, 18" x 24". To see more of Joyce's works, visit her page in our tribute to The Women of Visual AIDS.[Photo by Augustus C. Temple III]

Her daughters, raised largely by Joyce's mother, didn't learn of Joyce's drug addiction until they were in their mid-teens -- and, perhaps because Joyce's mother always believed Joyce would eventually come around, they feel only pride that she has finally pulled through. "Both my daughters, Makeeba and Taheesha, have college educations and they're both married. I have two wonderful sons-in-law. I also have six grandchildren now! My grandchildren are the lights of my life," Joyce beams.

Joyce's daughters appear to have grown up remarkably well-adjusted considering what their mother has been through. "They laugh and say, 'Mom, you scared us straight,'" Joyce says, breaking into a smile.

"We wouldn't ask for any other mother in the world," Taheesha says in a video taken of a recent art show, entitled "Chillin' Fields." "If we had to choose, we would take the same mom, with the same former addiction and current diagnosis."

After her HIV diagnosis -- as well as her AIDS diagnosis, which came a year later when her CD4+ count briefly dropped below 200 -- Joyce became an activist in her community. She insists, however, that her activism is more something that happened to her rather than something she strived to do. In 1998 she began working with Robert Morrison, an art therapist at the Jewish Board of Family and Children's Services, a social-service organization that provides AIDS case management to thousands of individuals throughout New York City. It was through the Jewish Board that she first began to work in clay and paint, under Morrison's guidance. "God had him disguised as an art therapist, but he was an art mentor," Joyce said. She already had the wings: a natural talent for working in clay and paint. It was Morrison, she says, who helped her to fly.

Shortly after her art therapy began, Joyce started feverishly creating small sculptures. They represent some of the more haunting moments that defined her past life, as well as the bonds of family and love that have guided her current one. "I did my first art pieces," Joyce says, "but then I couldn't stop." She becomes a conduit when she sculpts, she says -- her spirit guides her hands. "Most of the time I don't plan any work. ...I don't have control over what I do." Not long after, Joyce joined the Visual AIDS archive, and began exhibiting her work at churches, hospitals and private shows throughout New York City; and her new life was born.

Joyce, who lives on a fixed income, has also received small yearly grants from Visual AIDS, which have allowed her to purchase her art supplies and support the volunteer work she performs on a daily basis. Though she no longer receives the grant, she remains largely unwilling to sell her artworks. They "are from so deep," she says, "when people say they want to buy them, I feel like they'd be taking away a part of me." Besides, many of them serve a greater good simply by existing as a part of her shows: Some people see them and simply begin to cry, Joyce says, because they see themselves and their own suffering in her creations. They serve, in effect, as a sort of passageway: Made of the earth, they connect these once-lost souls to one another -- and, it seems, to God as well.

Comment by: Pastor Larry Childress
(oxford,mi)
Thu., Sep. 22, 2011 at 2:09 pm UTC
It amazing what the Lord Jesus Christ can do for a woman like Joyce McDonald who loves Jesus Christ who like Mary Magadlene where she was liberated from demon possession; we are in the end time Jesus is performing miracles in lives of people today as he did when he walked on this earth.

Comment by: Joyce McDonald
(Bklyn New York)
Mon., Oct. 17, 2011 at 4:36 pm UTCYes, Pastor Childress, Amen who the Son set free is free indeed. To God be the Glory. May God Bless you for your ministering words of encouragement. Oh How I Love Jesus , because He first loved me.

Comment by: YSHELL
(MS)
Thu., Aug. 18, 2011 at 6:16 pm UTC
MS.JOYCE YOUR STORY WAS VERY TOUCHIN AND SUCH A BLESSIN IN MY LIFE. THAT WHY I KNOW THERE IS A GOD WHO SIS HI AND LOOK LO.. THUR HIM ALL THING ARE POSSIBLE.. I SAY TO YOU TOSAY CONTINUE TO REACH OUT TO OTHERS, BECAUSE IF WE DONT GO THRU A TEST WE DONT HAVE A TESTIMONY... SO I SAY TO YOU TODAT THAT BY HIS STRIPES YOU ARE ALREADY HEALED..... HOLD YOUR HEAD UP BECAUSE YOU ARE HIS CHILD.... WE ANN GOTTA GO THRU SOMETHING BEFORE WE LEAVE HERE.... WE DONT KNOW WAT, BUT WE HAVE TO.... BE BLESSED SWEETIE, KEEP DOIN GOD'S WILL. HE HAVE A CROWN WITH YOUR NAME ON IT....LOVE ALWAYS......

Comment by: Lauren
(Ames, IA)
Thu., Feb. 10, 2011 at 1:57 pm UTC
Your story is such an inspiration to me. And, to see how you have such an amazing attitude and outlook towards life is a testament to Jesus' grace and love. Thank you so much for all that you do. I would love to meet you. Thank you for sharing your story. You are clearly seeking God and He is giving you the grace to move through each day. What a blessing you must be to those around you and those that read your story. Thank you. I thank God for people like you in this world.

Comment by: DEBORAH
(BROOKLYN NEW YORK)
Wed., Jan. 5, 2011 at 2:23 pm UTC
THE SPIRIT IS REPRESENTED BY A BUTTERFLY WHAT A WONDERFUL CHANGE A METAMORPHOSIS. IF ANY MAN BE IN CHRIST JESUS HE IS A NEW CREATURE BEHOLD ALL THINGS HAVE BECOME NEW . THE GIFTS TALENTS AN ABILITIES THE ENENMY THOUGHT HE BURRIED IN YOU RELEASED INTO THE WORLD TO SHOW SOMEONE ELSE THEY CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST OH PRAISE THE REDEEMER THE RANSOMER OF OUR SOUL LOVE YOU MY BEAUTIFUL BLOODWASHED OVERCOMER BLESS YOU

Comment by: Jasmine
(cincinnati)
Sun., Feb. 21, 2010 at 9:51 am UTC
O my god that is such a inspriring story i feel bad on my part because i always feel that my life is so bad....but the truth is my life could be so much worse.i really look up to you ms.mcdonald because you showed me that no matter what the case is you can get through it...you are a brave women and i love you for that...P.s from your true #1 fan!

Comment by: Rose
(UK)
Sun., Jan. 17, 2010 at 10:07 am UTC
Please all affected dont give up hope.I know of a God who sees this illness as nothing and its still in the healing miracle business.God never ceases to amaze me.PLEASE ALL ON THIS FORUM VISIT THIS WEBSITE AND WITNESS TESTIMONIES OF HIV PEOPLE HEALED,JUST WITNESS IT AND WATCH THE VIDEO. http://www.enterthehealingschool.org/videos/videos.php?cat=4
Really amazing. dont give up hope.

Comment by: Joyce
(Brooklyn, New York)
Sat., Jan. 9, 2010 at 1:01 am UTC
Matshpo, I hear you. Can you call 718 9070763 and leave your number and a good time for us to talk. Trust in God he can make a way out of know way. I give all honor to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, I know him for myself.
It is because of his mercy & Grace I have made it this far. Give 2010 to God.

Comment by: Matshepo De Bruin
(Mmamelodi pretoria)
Fri., Jan. 8, 2010 at 8:22 am UTC
halo joyce am HIV POSITIVE n would like to have baby but i dont know how to do it please contact me on this number 073 228 7679

Comment by: charice
(PA)
Sun., Jan. 3, 2010 at 9:52 pm UTC
I am so inspired I am adding a blog post about your story to share with other women to inspire them as well. Happy New Year and thank you for sharing your story. God has a purpose for everyone and yours rings true!
http://www.majesticdaughters.blogspot.com

Comment by: Joyce McDonald
(Brooklyn, New York)
Mon., Dec. 14, 2009 at 1:00 pm UTC
Ann, I appreciate your words of encouragement, I am sure you are also have something to offer people or your family. My website is www.jm-ministries.com or you can email me directly at joyce-mac@mailstation.com Again I truly appreciate you and all who take the time to get in touch it is a touch of encouuragement that help me to continue this sometime seemingly down hill battle.

Comment by: Itati
(brooklyn)
Wed., Oct. 28, 2009 at 8:09 pm UTC
Mss. Joyce thank GOD we still have a people like yu whit that big and powerful mind thank you also for doing a grate job you are an amazing lady , I see you many times and I never know that inside of you is a woman with hope for others GOD BLESS YOU and you will be on my prayers every day thank you for being in this world

Comment by: Itati
(brooklyn)
Tue., Oct. 27, 2009 at 9:41 pm UTC
Dear Joyce I see you many times, and I never know what you going through But GOD inspired you ;and you will be always in my prayers thank you for exist here whit us and you are the best;well done Joyce

Comment by:
(GA)
Tue., Oct. 20, 2009 at 10:49 pm UTC
Joyce your story was very touching.I am a 27 female I found out I was HIV postive when I was 25 the first thing came to mind was my 9 year old daughter and being able to see her grownot to mention getting married and just being able to live a normal life.I still have not told a soul accept for the doctors I see.I just really want to thank you for telling your story everyday I pray for the courage to tell mine.God bless

Comment by: Joyce McDonald
(Bklyn N, Y.)
Mon., Oct. 19, 2009 at 12:52 am UTC
I will be praying for you, there are ways you can strengthen yourself and empower your
self that will increase your courage. Take a deep breathe, let it out slowly. HIV is not the end, having no hope is. Please email me joyce-mac@mailstation.com I hear your cry

Comment by: ANOYNOMUS
(ATLANTA)
Fri., Oct. 9, 2009 at 12:42 am UTC
JOYCE.....IM SO SCARED. IM LIVING WITH HIV AND HAS KEPT IT AS A BIG SECRET FROM MY BOYFRIEND. I LOVE HIM BUT IM SCARED. I DONT KNOW HOW TO HANDLE ALL OF THIS. I JUSY WANT TO LIVE TO SEE MY DAUGHTER GROW UP. PLEASE I NEED HELP ITS PLENTY OF DAYS THAT GO BY THAT I WANT TO GIVE UP BUT MY DAUGHTER NEEDS ME.....{CRYING}

Comment by: JoyceSun., Jul. 26, 2009 at 2:55 am UTC
Thank you again for all of your encouragement and prayer. If you would like to connect more in a personal confidential way, you are welcome to send me your email address or phone number. My prayers are with you all. contact me by phone: 718 9070763 my email joyce-mac@hotmail.com
www.jm-ministries joyce McDonald

Comment by: Melody
(Edgware UK)
Fri., Jun. 19, 2009 at 3:27 am UTC
God bless you girl, He is the only one we have in this time of need. May He also bless your work and your family. Were your teen kids also tested of both HIV and HCV? If so, how did you go about having your kids tested? My heart goes to you brave woman.

Comment by: Deb McDonald Jackson
(Spotswood, NJ)
Mon., May. 4, 2009 at 8:14 pm UTC
God Bless you Joyce,
You are a phenomenal woman. You've always been my idol and now my spiritual advisor. You inspired me to continue to press on with my life. I am so proud of you and what God continues to do in your life.
Love you,
Deb~

Comment by: MELISSE
(SALT LAKE CITY,UT)
Fri., Mar. 20, 2009 at 3:26 pm UTC
I HAVE HAD THIS SINCE 4/16/98. WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHERE IN UTAH IS THERE WOMEN SUPPORT GROUPS FOR WOMEN WITH AIDS I ALMOST DIED ONCE WITH IT AND HAD ONLY 24 T-CELLS NOW I'M ALMOST A LOT BETTER. I WOULD LIKE TO THANK JOYCE FOR HER STRENGTH IN HELPING PEOPLE WITH IT. ALSO WOULD ALSO LIKE TO HELP ME BUT DON'T KNOW HOW OR WHERE TO START.

Comment by: Jennifer
(Nairobi, Kenya)
Tue., Mar. 10, 2009 at 9:41 am UTC
U r an amazing person. I tested HIV positive in 2001, then my boyfriend left me though I got it from him. He is still alive and so am I. The only rejection I ever felt was when my sister took it upon herself to tell everyone the people she could that I was going to die. She would sit and gossip about me with my boyfriend who was accusing me of infecting him.

It has taken me four years to accept myself and status. I have gone through depression, got hospitalised, lost my job coz of my status........Goodness.

Now, Am back. I am not taking antiretrovirals. I take vitamins and supplements and I am in a new relationship. My new boyfriend loves me to bits and I am happy now.

Comment by: EBONY THOMAS
(PENNSYLVANIA,PA)
Thu., Mar. 5, 2009 at 6:31 am UTC
WOW GRANDMA I'M GLAD TO CALL U THAT..
I'M PROUD TO HAVE SOMEONE IN MY FAMILY THAT HAS AIDS AND THAT IS TRYING TO OVERCOME IT BY HELPING OTHERS DO THE SAME..
SO YES I'M PROUD!!
LOVE U

Comment by: Lavonnia
(Charlotte, NC)
Tue., Dec. 30, 2008 at 12:16 am UTC
Thank you so much for sharing your story. Even though I haven't been diagnosed with HIV i qualify to have by God's grace and mercy I am able to love someone who is HIV positive unconditionally. I pray God's mercy and grace continues to cover as it has through the years. I am an ex-drug addict herion user, ex-prositute and crack cocaine smoker who has turned my life around for the better. I too, desire to advocate for people living with HIV and AIDS. You have inspired me to make positive changes towards becoming and advocate and spokes woman for loving and someone intimately who lives with this deadly disease that won't allow me to discriminate who God puts in my path for me to love. Amen.

Comment by: Joyce McDonald
(Brooklyn, New York)
Mon., Dec. 15, 2008 at 10:31 pm UTC
To all my brothers and sisters, Thank you for your words of encouragement and may God continue to bless you. My email is joyce-mac@hotmail for those who want to contact me directly.
Also you can log on to www.jm-ministries.com
Again thank you for your encouragement.... joyce mcdonald

Comment by: Linda Laverne-Gates
(England, uk)
Wed., Nov. 5, 2008 at 8:55 am UTC
Joyce, you are such an inspiration, your story has touched me so deeply, you have such a strong spirit which refuses to be extinguished...I am reaching out to you, and pray that you stay strong and healthy. Bless you, sweet lady.

Comment by: John Charley
(NJ)
Thu., Oct. 30, 2008 at 11:30 am UTC
Does anyone have Joyce's email or some form of contact information? Please contact john_charley@mac.com if you do. Thank you so much in advance.

Comment by: Mario CameauWed., Jun. 25, 2008 at 4:04 pm UTC
I thank God for sisters like you who are willing to share there testimonies on this level. So many people are affected every single day because of sheer neglegiance. Its good to have sisters such as yourself who has a relationship with God through Jesus Christ to share the good news and the life that God wants us to live. Be encouraged in all your endeavors and continue to let God use you for this special mission... The bible says in Philippian 1:21 " To live is CHRIST and to die is Gain" so please keep living. Your brother in Christ.. Mario... PS..I Hope to see you on July 26 for the talkshow... God bless you sis

You're misinformed about several things. A few points: First, Jeremiah Wright did not say that HIV does not exist or that it is harmless. In fact, he said that HIV was created to kill African Americans, which implies that the virus exists and that it is deadly. Wright is mistaken about the origins of HIV, but he is right about its nature. It exists and without treatment it kills.

We know that HIV damages the immune system because people with HIV have lower levels of CD4 cells than people who aren't infected, and people with lower CD4 counts are much more vulnerable to infections.

Second: Yes, HIV drugs are "toxic" -- that just means that like almost all medications, they sometimes come with side effects. However, the evidence that HIV medications save lives is overwhelming. When good HIV treatment became available in the U.S. in the mid-1990s, deaths from AIDS fell. Today, people continue to die from AIDS because they don't get the treatment they need. That can happen for many reasons -- because they are diagnosed too late, because they can't afford treatment, because they have developed resistance to existing drugs and, sometimes, because someone convinced them that life-saving HIV medications are dangerous. If you want to help people with HIV, encourage them to learn about the disease and demand the treatment they need.

Comment by: GRACE PAYTONSun., Jun. 15, 2008 at 2:27 pm UTC
DON'T TAKE THE POISON RX THE DRs ARE GIVING.
OBAMA'S PREACHER... REVEREND WRIGHT IS RIGHT!!!
THEY ARE KILLING PATIENTS WHO HAVE A HARMLESS
VIRUS IN THEIR BODIES. IT'S GENOCIDE!!!
READ THE FOLLOWING BOOKS:
"INVENTING THE AIDS VIRUS" BY PETER DUESBERG AND
"POISON BY PRESCRIPTION" AND
"WAR ON AIDS" BY JOHN LAURITSEN
HIV DOES NOT CAUSE AIDS. IT'S A FRAUD COMMITTED
BY THE CDC, NIH AND FDA. FOLLOW THE RESEARCH $$.
IMMUNE DEFICIENCY (AIDS) IS CAUSED BY TOXIC DRUGS
AND MALNUTRITION. AND THE DRs ARE GIVING OUT
TOXIC DRUGS TO "TREAT" THEIR PATIENTS...AND SURE
ENUF, THEY DIE. BUT NOT FROM THE HIV.. BUT FROM
THE TOXIC RX. RECREATIONAL DRUGS ARE TOXIC AND
OVER TIME, THEY DESTROY THE IMMUNE SYSTEM.
DON'T TAKE MY WORD FOR IT. PLEASE, READ THOSE
BOOKS... AND SPREAD THE WORD. IT WILL SHOCK THE
WORLD. BUT EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW.
I DON'T HAVE AIDS BUT I CAN'T STAND TO SEE PEOPLE
SUFFER... ESPECIALLY THE INNOCENT CHILDREN AND
BABIES, WHO HAVE BEEN FED THESE POISONS. PLEASE
STOP THE MURDER THAT THESE RESEARCHERS HAVE GIVEN
THE DRs TO DO.

Comment by: AgudzeWed., Jun. 11, 2008 at 9:17 am UTC
Great story full of hope. I am touched by the fact that Joyce never gave up and her mother stood by her and directed her two daughters on a good course of life.

Comment by: deevaThu., Jun. 5, 2008 at 3:44 am UTC
just reading a story bout a pheomonal woman who inspires me to go into the trenches and do.I am a native NYCER living in nj with no support on par on what yours are especially for us over the age of 50yr+could you help in organizing something? thank you

Comment by: PmtFri., May. 23, 2008 at 2:43 pm UTC
Joyce is a remarkable woman, keep up the good work, she surely inspires many people who are living with hiv / aids...........there is a life after hiv / aids, you just have to take the right way ...........

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