“Should I jump?” Diane asked nobody in particular. The crowd outside was getting larger and their voices could be heard inside the walls of her home; a home she had lived in forever. Standing at the window she saw the people and heard their cheers, while friends and family inside remained quiet. She opened the door and embraced her future.

And more…

How many opportunities cross our path that we miss because we’re home inside and safe? What are the chances that we’ve missed a calling or misunderstood our purpose because we’ve been head down and busy doing what we think we’re supposed to be doing – locked inside a “home” that’s safe, but maybe not big enough for our dream.

It’s amazing how fast time flies and so many of our ideas on how our life should really be have been lost and left behind. The good news is that those dreams are still alive. They don’t die until we say so. Here are a couple of ideas on how to keep the dream alive:

– In every step forward to something new we have to let go of something now. And usually it’s not a dramatic departure from what is; it usually is a mind set, a simple reframing of what’s possible.

– In the what’s possible world lives the wholeness of every dream ever dreamt. In this world we are forever young and optimistic about everything. In this world we can fly.

– If you believe you and your desires can fly, they will lift you to new heights where soaring is common and the view is clear.

Give your dreams another chance to fly. All it takes is faith and an understanding that the world around you wants you to be who you want to be. You’ll be happier and so will everyone else.

It all comes down to you….

Szenippet: All dreams have an equal chance of coming to life. That includes the dream that’s been resting quietly inside you and now needs to fly.

http://szenzone.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/szen-zone-log.png00szenadminhttp://szenzone.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/szen-zone-log.pngszenadmin2017-04-02 19:26:392017-04-02 19:26:39It Comes Down to You

Each of the ornaments was wrapped carefully and put back into the box. The stuffed Santa that sat next to the fireplace found his way back into the attic to wait for another year to perform his magic. The singing Angels were silenced, the tree was dismantled and all evidence of Christmas were erased, except we did keep the gifts.

And more…

The party, the pain, the problems and the promise of last year are over. It’s nice to take a little time to reflect on those we lost, and celebrate those that have joined our lives. For this New Year we get a chance to mentally and psychologically reboot. Our minds can stuff the stuff in its memory place and we can leave space for new dreams and adventures that awaken the explorer in all of us.

May this New Year be a blessing to all of you. May you find the peace and the joy you seek and the friends and the love you need to achieve your dreams. May you be asked to solve a problem that you can fix, a question that you can answer and may you enjoy the many smiles and thanks sent to you for simply being you – a vital part of this wonderful life. Thanks for being here.

Happy New Year. Time to turn the page.

Szenippet: The ability to influence another and to help them find their way is a gift we all possess. And when we share, we change the world.

I know you are all busy getting on with your new life in this New Year so I’ll keep it short. The equation for success first involves a look back at our personal wake. Who have we touched and who’s touched us this last year? And we need to ask if we’re a better version of ourselves. These are the seeds of resolution and positive change. Here’s a quick review of where we go from here:

A resolution has two distinct parts: Part one is the thought we create in our minds that helps us visualize a new us. Could be getting rid of a bad habit or inventing a new you. Whatever it is, it starts with a thought.

The second part involves taking action. Nothing happens until we act. And the act of taking action serves to confirm our thoughts on what we want to resolve to happen. This is maybe the hardest part because we tend to want a magic wand manifestation and most things actually take some time to unfold.

From there it is simple or at least the steps are. Here are a few reminders on how it all works:

– Action ignites change – what we do with our lives create a new dynamic for us and our relationship with the universe and all its possibilities.

– And those actions in turn create change. We actually move our being into a new pattern. By acting and moving toward our goal we draw resources we need toward us and, this is the cool part, we start to act like we we’ve actually attained the fruits of our thinking. We become what we chose to become.

– Finally, change ignites new thinking. Once we become our original thoughts and arrive with a new and different perspective something happens. We begin to think differently reflecting a new pattern and persona and that fuels even more new dreams and new hope, all of which come to life using the same formula.

I hope you all have a great new year and get whatever it is you set your mind to achieve.

Szenippet: There is nothing like a new year to create a hopeful heart. A heart filled with new purpose and a keen sense of awe for the journey ahead.

Alice’s husband had become increasingly despondent since the merger. He had been let go after many years of loyal service. Alice was getting worried he may not find work and that income from her small store would not suffice. It preyed on her mind, but as she opened for business every day, it didn’t stop her big smile and hello.

And more…

Here are to all of the people like Alice that hide their fear or pain and manage to keep a smile facing forward. I think it is difficult to mask our feelings and yet many of us do. And why we do often is because we don’t want to burden others with our problems or maybe afraid of what others may think. The easy way to avoid a painful discussion is to project a positive attitude, smile and move on. And that process tends to work pretty well. That said, there could be a lot going on with many people in our lives and strangers too that we can’t see or know or fix, but it’s there and it hurts.

The folks that can hide their problems have found ways to suppress their feelings so that they don’t seep out through a conversation or simple eye contact. It doesn’t mean we can’t help if we knew. So how can we discern when there is more to the story than what is apparent? How do we see behind the scenes? And why, if at all, should we try?

To answer the “why should we try” question first, let’s assume for this discussion, we have a relationship of some kind and we care. If we do, then there are lots of ways to see beyond the obvious if we look carefully and listen.

Here are some ideas:

– Ask questions. A moment to hear how the weekend went or how they are feeling can net some insights.

– Let it go. If you think someone really needs help but is reluctant to share, it may be that you’re not the person they need, so don’t push it.

– Open up. The best way to get a good meaningful conversation going is to share something that is meaningful to us. By being vulnerable, we invite vulnerability.

Getting behind the scenes is getting deeper into relationship and that’s where miracles can happen, not just for those that need us, but for those we need.

Szenippet: We can’t know for sure what’s going on in another’s life, but there are often signs directed right at us. Be alert.

“Cut!” shouted the director. “Listen Charles, you have to relax and not think about the whole scene, just this moment and your line. You know your line, right?” Charles nodded. “Then say it for us!” Charles looked around the room. People, equipment and so much tension in the air were making him nervous, then “Don’t touch that door!” he screamed.

And more…

Life can dish up some tension now and then. It can be a business situation, a family disagreement, a phone call with the IRS or simply being cut off on the freeway. Tension is our way of metabolizing the moment. We need tension to feel the event in order to be able to react. Tension, or call it emotional currency, is a bridge from routine to something else. It enables us to call upon our senses and wits to act. And whatever the act may be that we’re called on to do, it is propelled by the tension, pressure and sometimes the fear we feel in that split second when we know we must do something.

Tension works because it’s a way to get us poised for action. Being on the edge is typically something most of us would prefer to avoid, but the emotions inherent in tension can get us revved and ready for whatever happens next. Without it, the greatness of so many decisions in our lives would be forgotten. The tension of the situation is what makes for great stories – time running out and he shoots and scores, she bends over to grab his hand and accepts his proposal, the phone rings and we got the job. You name it and I bet the best stories of our lives included some angst, fear and doubt, the siblings of tension and what makes living on the edge worth it.

I think without some emotion, be it fear or doubt or love or whatever in our routine we avoid the edge and thus miss out on some of the fun of life. If we push ourselves and open the door to possibilities, even a little every day, we live more. We make better stories – Stories worth telling.

Szenippet: A shift from a “how are you doing?” to a “how are you feeling?” orientation reveals a deeper dimension of connectedness: Feelings uncovered always change the conversation.

Special:
If you want to hear a sample from my book, Szen Zone, come check out the podcast Optimal Living Daily! Justin, a former student of UCI where I teach, is doing something pretty neat. He reads blog posts and excerpts from his favorite books on the show and featured mine in Episode 337. You can listen to it here: http://OLDPodcast.com/337 or find it in your favorite podcast app.

They were running late and Alex was still putting on make-up in the car. Ben was trying to will the car in front of them to move over. The air was tense and neither felt like talking. Panic was setting in. And then, they were there and she bolted, then stopped and caught his eye and smiled. So did he.

And more…

Life can go pretty fast sometimes and we can become so intent on keeping up with it that we often miss the whole point of why we’re here. Do we know why? I mean really know what the point of life is? I don’t know about you, but I did not come here with an instruction manual. In that regard we are all ex-babies – born, then slapped and helpless and open to the possibilities. There is no map, path, or clear destination. And sometimes, we live for quite a while before we figure out that we’re still not sure of where we’re going or what it all means.

It might not be the secret to life, but I think we can find pretty good clues as to what life means for us by contemplating all of the moments that got us to here: Moments of joy and smiles and pain too that somehow mattered and are remembered, and for whatever reason seem to define us. And each of those defining moments started just this way. Like reading this sentence and maybe asking ourselves how in the world did all of this, all of our life, unfold.

The answer is: we did it. We orchestrated life. We flowed with its currents and we set plans and dreams and events into motion because we could. And we had help from other players in this same universe that by acting their way, helped us somehow. It’s pretty cool how those gazillion thoughts we’ve had have brought us to here – To one of many moments of beauty like Alex as she composed herself enough to turn and smile and then wait for the smile from Ben. Some moments are charged with significance. They are bookmarks in our life and it feels good sometimes to go back and re-read the good parts.

Here’s hoping that your story has filled you with love and joy and that the next chapter is more of the same.

Szenippet: A smile, glance, soft touch or any of a zillion memories can make us feel alive. One moment is all we need to feel that life is surging through us. May the moment linger.

We’ve all heard and probably used the concept of setting low expectations and then over achieving. The mind game here is that if we know we can accomplish X, then by setting the bar to X –whatever, we give ourselves a cushion to succeed. This works great in all kinds of ways. We tell others and ourselves that this is what the expectation is. That expectation gets set in our minds and theirs and we all adjust the expected outcome accordingly. What often happens though is that we mistakenly believe, that now that the goal is less, it will be easier to achieve and so we don’t try as hard. And sometimes, even though we set out at the beginning with the intention to exceed the goal, we get busy or challenged in other ways and what was once going to be easy, is now burdensome. Net result is we often barely make the reduced expectation in spite of our abilities because, after all that’s what everyone expected.

Expectations determine the effort we will use when we set them ourselves. When someone else, like a partner or boss, sets them, it determines how hard we have to work to succeed. And what also comes into play when others set expectations for us is the question of: to what extent are they right. Set too high we feel energized because their perception is complimentary and set too low we may feel misunderstood or perhaps undervalued or underestimated.

The point is really only a reminder, that however or whomever sets the bar, it has a corresponding impact on the amount of our effort and the desired outcomes. If we can just manage this one aspect of our life we can set expectations that will make our life fulfilling and exciting. Because we tend to try to hit the mark, raising the mark or exceeding expectations changes our world and us. Expect great things and they will come. Expect less and we get that too.

Szenippet: Next time you make a wish, assume it has already been granted. That belief is how dreams come true and, of course, it’s up to you.

There is a point in the river that is only a hundred meters from the falls. It’s fast and the water is churning violently. It even seems sinister, almost eager to pull you in and gobble you up. But time was running out and she needed to cross. She leapt in, suddenly gone – then re-emerged: stronger and wiser too.

And more…

Some of the decisions we make seem to be like crossing a chasm or rushing river. There is no easy way to get from where we are to where we want to be. Maybe there is, but something is telling us we don’t have the time to wait. We have to act, and act now. We have to take a leap of faith that it will work out. We have to believe in ourselves and take the chance.

We all have had to trust in our inner voice and belief that we could succeed against the odds and so we did. And maybe we did it a few times. We picked up and moved to a new city. We quit the job that once defined us. We told the truth when it really hurt. We moved a mountain to protect a friend, and we found a love that we’d die for. Every time we stayed true to ourselves, we were able to traverse the rapids and make it to the other side. In each case, we reach out for a better version of ourselves, and in that journey we discover what moves us and defines us. Every crossing brings wisdom.

Sometimes though, with time, we opt out of the crossing. We like it where we are, and those things that used to propel us have faded, and we wonder out loud if it’s really worth it to keep striving for something, someone or someplace new. It’s a legit concern and the answer is different for all of us. Whatever you may choose, I hope your crossing to the other side is exactly what you prayed it would be.

Szenippet: Leaps of faith for a noble cause are often rewarded. So the next time you’re unsure, you might take the leap and be surprised at what happens.

Phil was being filled with wild visions of success, opportunities and dreams for greatness and encouragement to take the bold next step and sign up for the course. “We guarantee you will succeed!” Phil was feeling caged a bit and yet desperate to change his life. The course, the program and the hype were calling to him. Ready or not…

And more…

Sometimes when we hit a fork in the road we can’t see far enough ahead to determine which is the best path. We deliberate and weigh the options and maybe talk with friends or family and we scrutinize our choices. It sure would be nice to know the future and see where a path might lead us, to see around the corner to the next intersection of where our life and dreams come together.

Sorry, not happening. There is no crystal ball or magic wand to illuminate the future. No absolute full proof decision making mechanism that we can use to project the results for tomorrow based on our actions today. All we can do is believe in ourselves, our dream and our instincts and move toward our goal and whatever happens will happen.

Sometimes like Phil, we don’t want to or can’t take responsibility for the choice. We think a third party can help us decide. Sometimes they help and sometimes not. The truth is that predicting the future is risky business. So many moving parts and people in our lives and outside influences that our choices and dreams get caught up in a vortex of everyone else’s dreams and choices. We end up fighting for space and time that we can own and control. Of course no one can own space or time. So now what?

Here’s what: Dream, choose and let it happen. When we doubt our vision, we negate the energy we need to achieve it. When we believe, we actually add more and more energy to the process. The more we believe, the closer we get, and in spite of the complications of charting a perfect arrival to our destiny, we always manage to get there – Exactly where we wanted; what we thought we would do, we end up doing.

Our belief in ourselves is the act of seeing the future and turning the corner to the life we seek.

Szenippet: When we turn the corner and change our thinking we find a new world of opportunity. Places where chance meet dreams and the only risk is not dreaming big enough.

The first grader was handed a pencil and a piece of paper. Sally was instructed to grasp the pencil in her right hand and then told to press gently but firmly and to use cursive to write her name. And after some struggles she finished. It unfortunately resembled a Richter Scale. Sally switched hands and tried once more: Instant art.

And more…

We’ve all tried to accomplish something that seemed easy and clear enough in our head, but getting that vision to gel proved elusive? How many times did we try to create something that just didn’t want to come together? It’s always the same: We can’t find the word, or the color or the stroke or note that nets the masterpiece we see in our mind’s eye. So what do we do when the gem we seek to manifest is stuck somewhere inside us and can’t seem to find its way out? The answer is going to be different for each of us, and it might be as simple as what Sally discovered – Change something in the process.

Creating something new is always magic to me. And we all have our own magic wand to help us bring new ideas and beauty to life. I’ve observed the artist using pen and ink or watercolors or clay, and the writer with pencil and paper or keyboard and the guitarist sitting at the piano. All of them have the tools to let what’s inside them, out. And it’s just as true for the coach scribbling a play on the chalkboard. The delivery of our creative thinking has to have a way to be channeled into reality. It can be whatever helps us share what’s in us. It’s the sharing that brings our ideas to life.

And the easiest of all tools we might want to use when we feel creative and want to share, is our own sense of purpose. Knowing why we’re here, and our calling, creates the desire to make an impact and difference, which is at the core of creativity. It’s the driving force for all things new. It can turn a Richter Scale scribble into the word Sally, our ideas into reality and change our creative expressions into life changing moments.

Szenippet: We all are called upon to create. To envision what does not exist and let that vision find its way to life through us.