Month: December 2016

In today’s edition of “Guess who wasn’t paying attention in History class” we have this little nugget:

That’s right folks pass it along!!! According to some criteria that “someone” gets to determine, college professors will be added to a “watchlist”. OOOHHH Scary!!! We love how the American Association of College Professors have reacted to it, because really McCarthy lovers screw you:

We wish that was all we had to bring you but there is a comment on Kirby’s post that needs attention:

That’s right!!! ALL Liberal Scum Teachers need to be placed on the list!!! Oh we would love to see the criteria to be placed upon said list! And where’s the watch list for Right Wing Propaganda Professors? Tis only fair!

So much easier!

It’s at this point that we really must congratulate the voters of Frederick County for keeping this one off the school board! Can you imagine if she had any kind of real power to do such a thing? Jeeze o’flip people!!!

For those of you who praise Putin, want to replace investigative journalism with Twitter and think it’s all find and dandy to black list people, we have this for you:

Hey, so we already had words for y’all about local press and freedom of press and what Kirby thinks and how he and his pal Trumpet can stick their Twitter fetish where the sun don’t shine. Please indulge any liberties with the paraphrase. We grow monumentally impatient with these super special teaflakes.

If you didn’t catch it, Sam Bee’s latest Full Frontal (the one with Glenn Beck!!!!) has some harsh to dish out on people who can’t be bothered to notice a local issue because it doesn’t scroll under their nose with their social media headlines (a mission we’ve been endeavoring to remedy). And truly we do recommend that you check out Kirby’s social media. What on Uhhhhrth would we do without that?

And we have called upon you to pay attention to the legitimate media. We believe in being localvores–especially with regard to media consumption. They can’t be the best they can be if you expect them to do their jobs for free. This is our hobby, yo. And as such, we don’t have to do it if we don’t wanna, and we are certainly prepared to say we are not sitting around dreaming up ways to view Shrelauter’s behavior in a kinder light. They are idiotic, petulant children. That’s our story. We’re sticking to it. (Although that does sound like a fascinating mental exercise, trying to put a human [legislative] speed bump up on a pedestal.)

This year ain’t done with us yet folks!!!! Kirby has taken to his favorite medium to proclaim that said medium is now the way all Americans should get their information:

What could go wrong?!

First off Donald Trump is going to give us the truth with no spin!!!! BAAAHAAAAHAAA! Who is the sheeple now #? If you really believe for one minute that Twitter, with its 140 character limit, is a sufficient way for an American President to convey pertinent information to us…then whoa man…we really fear for our future.

Now let’s address how the “average American” no longer needs the “mainstream media”. Because this is what really has us hot under our collars. First of all, may we suggest Council Man Delauter, that you take a trip down to the Newseum so you can see for yourself how very important it is to our DEMOCRACY that we have a FREE PRESS. A FREE PRESS is absolutely essential to the free spread of ideas, opinions, information and is the ONLY way we have to investigate corruption in both corporations and the government!!!! What kind of elected official not only does NOT know this, but is actually pleased that the White House Press Corps will be locked out?! This is not a good development! This is exactly what dictators and tyrants do!!! But that’s right, Putin is a cool guy is he not, Kirby? Here’s a list that illustrates how the 4th Estate is doing in Russia.

Thankfully, once again, Kirby is so very wrong. How are newspapers doing in this current climate? Very well indeed. The Washington Post is doing so well that they are adding dozens of journalists. Vanity Fair, after Trump’s mantrum, saw their subscriptions soar!

That’s about as accurate as Kirby’s Facebook post. They are twinsies!

The Atlantic and The New York Times have also seen a rise in donations and readership. Thinking people with a sense of history know the value and necessity of a free and unhindered press.

So what can we do to support our local media? Unless you want to friend Kirby to get his updates on local governmental issues (feel free!) or perhaps encourage him to open his @RealKirbyDelauter twitter account as we previously suggested, we need to support the Frederick News Post, even though according to Kirby they haven’t told the truth for “over 40 years,” we need to show them that we have their back! If you don’t already have a subscription, please click over and sign up! Or make a donation in Kirby’s name! Let’s show Kirby that we will not sit idly by while our one of our nation’s most important institutions is disparaged! We “average Americans” see the value of having the media call out our elected official’s bullshit.

Your Lady Yokels are holding our collective breath that we can get through these final two days of 2016 without any more tragedy. If you need a distraction to get you through the next couple of days be sure to read our end of year posts. First up we have our Most Popular Posts of 2016. You can revisit your favorite Yokel posts about all that went on in this tumultuous year. Also, we have the coveted Yokel In/Out List. Check back with us on January 4 when we will restart our coverage of our favorite governmental body.

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As we close out 2016, it is a time for list making. We are not talking about a list of resolutions for 2017 (although, we could suggest some resolutions for a few Council Members, another post, perhaps?). We are talking about the Ins and Outs for our own Fred Co.

Year of the Cock, er, Rooster

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On December 13, The Frederick Extra broke the story about a data breach at FCPS that left 1,000 former students’ identities compromised. Since then, the Extra has written two additional stories that you can read here and here. FCPS has responded by offering those affected a one year subscription to an identity protection service. You can read the official statement from FCPS here and watch the video from BOE President Young and Superintendent Alban here.

It’s disheartening that we now live in a world in which we have to be super vigilant with our data. At this moment, one of Your Lady Yokels currently has a LifeLock subscription due to Target’s data breach. What is also disheartening is when people with a clear vendetta against the school system, the BOE and the superintendent use this as yet another opportunity to go on one of their numerous FCPS witch hunts. How is this at all helpful people? Especially when this data breach occurred before many of the people who are being vilified even worked for FCPS. Calling for people’s resignations is at the least premature and at most wildy irresponsible. Let the information roll in before passing judgment! When you are so reactionary it only serves to reveal your own prejudices and motives. Honestly folks, even our own King of Overreactions is looking at the facts:

That is not to say that if your data was stolen that you shouldn’t be angry and want to get to the bottom of what happened. And lets let the Frederick Extra, The Frederick News Post and FCPS do just that. If you do feel your data was compromised please email or call the school system at: infosec@fcps.org or 301-644-5332. Steer away from the random people on Facebook who some how got a hold of this list.

Usually Kirby only gets one column per month at the Tentacle. USUALLY. But since we are in topsy turvy nobody cares about anything anymore mode, he’s been granted a second chance to offend our good senses. The topic? Danielle Gaines and her super no good column about the county council. Poor Danielle, just the other day Billy was praising her fairness (after this offending story came out mind you) but Kirby didn’t get the memo and he’s going to correct what’s wrong. Let’s start with the title, because ROTFLMAO!:

Newspaper Article’s Factual Errors Corrected

That’s right folks. Kirby’s gonna take those facts and do some correcting!! First off Kirby does not care for Danielle’s description of the other council members while he’s a yapping:

It painted Billy Shreve as seeing the comment as comical; it tries to show Tony Chmelik as embarrassed, and the remainder members of the council as studious and basically annoyed.

We here at the Yokel have watched every single meeting, along with council workshops and we are going to have to rate this statement as:

100% never been more sure about anything in our lives true!

Then there’s some blah blah, stable tax rate is the same as a tax hike, bond ratings are good because of Blaine and then he offers up his excuse as to why he hasn’t written any legislation ever:

“Councilman Donald likes to chide me for never introducing a bill in two years. Well, yes, if I have to introduce legislation for civility and water buffers we don’t need, then, yes, you will see no bills from me.”

That’s right fellow citizens!!!!! Since niceties and water buffers are all we have going on in these here parts count Kirby out of the legislating process! He’s not going to do a damn bit of legislating and you can’t make him! He then goes on about Bud’s 180 and how there’s not a bit of leadership on the council, because hey, if you can’t keep Kirby and Billy in line that must be YOUR failure. There just isn’t any other logical explanation.

Then the hounds are released upon Jan. You see, fellow citizens, if the council agrees with the county executive then they aren’t doing their job. If they aren’t there to say no, as was the fashion of our Congress to President Obama, then things just aren’t getting done. It’s a failure of leadership. So heed Kirby’s warning peeps:

“It’s apparent nothing will change, the council will be an extension of the county executive, and she will run the county through fear and intimidation, just as she has for the 20-plus years she’s been involved in county government.”

Really Kirby GIVE IT A REST! Nobody is singing this narrative but you and your cronies.

It’s all good though. Kirby is FINE with being in the minority. He’s going to just keep on trucking. And come 2018 he just knows things are going to change. Finally something we can all agree on!