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Wednesday, November 28, 2012

All the skeletons will tumble out of my cupboard today!Arians are said to be fiery,impulsive and headstrong--total demolition of many things sane and sensible ?An Arian is like that only--ready to take off at the slightest stimulation!Do first and repent later.Fire with all guns in your stock.Reckless,impatient and blunt--could there be a better formula for collecting enemies and annoying people?

But please do not hasten with your verdict.We Arians have many plus points too.For example the moment an idea catches our fancy we hasten to put it into practice.We will start a new project with much gusto,but what can we do if the novelty wears off ? Anyhow, we can boast of umpteen unfinished ventures in our kitty; which too, is no mean achievement.But please,don't ask us to see them to the finish.It is so boring!

What else ?Oh we have many more sterling qualities but I cannot possibly blow my own trumpet can I ?I leave it to you dear readers,to fill in the gaps.And yes,if I have been too harsh , take it as a picture of my own horoscope,OK ?

I would simply love to receive inputs from fellow Arians or those who know an Arian intimately.I hand over the mike to you now.Cheers !!!A big thanks to Richard Sterling for this information & astroweekly.com for the picture above.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Tia is undergoing a very difficult phase since the last six months.She is plagued by negative thoughts.She knows they are not founded on reality,she also knows they are playing havoc with her body & mind as well as her relationships;but she is unable to break the circuit.She suffered a bout of illness before all this started.It lasted for a few days.She had another relapse after a fortnight but she has been symptom-free since then.

Symptom-free from the original illness but not from this malady which was spawned by that illness--the cycle of negative thinking.It has taken charge of her subconscious, coloring her musings in shades of black & black.She is scared that she will fall sick again,become incapacitated,dependent on others & unable to fulfill her obligations.This has robbed her of so many activities which added to the quality of her life.One day i sat her down & asked her to go to the genesis of her problem.When did these thoughts take root?What was the situation when this happened?Is it the same now?Has it improved or deteriorated?The answers to these questions will tell her if there is any real cause for worry.Most important of all--she has lived through that massive attack on her health. Isn't she better equipped now to handle a repeat of that trauma if at all it were to recur?She needs to keep the contact numbers of her doctor,the ambulance & a dependable escort handy if this happens again.These steps are likely to add to her sense of alarm temporarily,but in the long run they will give her a feeling of being in control.Come to think of it,Tia is not the only one in this quandary.Many people go through their lives mechanically--all the while consumed with destructive inner dialogues.These thoughts could relate to their own personalities,an untoward incident that happened in the past, or probable happenings in the future.Whatever be the thoughts,their effects follow a more or less similar pattern.It works like this:the memory of a distressing event is stored in our subconscious.Recalling it again & again is like scraping a wound.When we obsess about a traumatic event we inflict upon our mind,the same pain which we suffered originally.This is masochistic behavior.As & when we have time,we visit this painful spot & wallow there.Constant focus on doleful scenarios leads to an increase in the flow of negative hormones like cortisol & adrenaline, causing a perpetual state of preparedness.The person is jittery,always on edge.This distorts his responses to the countless stimuli which accost him.As a result his relationships,peace of mind,physical health & opportunities to advance in life suffer.He loses faith in his own capability to cope with life situations & achieve something worthwhile.Entangled in the cycle of negative thinking,he becomes gloomy & pessimistic.

Negative Thoughts About SelfA lot of negative self talk concerns our self-image.If we are dejected about our body & physical features then we can take help from this site.But I would like to remind you that it is not our looks,but our nature & inner qualities which determine whether we are loved,popular and successful.

Very often,it is our capabilities & weaknesses which are the cause of our dejection.We think we are not smart,intelligent,confident or gregarious enough to succeed.This mars our performance & stilts our progress.It helps to realize that our own analysis of our capabilities could stem from our lack of self confidence .It may not be true at all.Obsessing about Past EventsFor a person who has lived through an abusive childhood it is almost impossible to forget it.Naturally it generates a lot of negative thinking.One's past mistakes or blunders when recalled again and again have the effect of destroying one's peace of mind.It would be hard to find a man or woman who did not commit a mistake or face failure.But some people go back to such instances again & again and condemn themselves.Actually they are seeking atonement for their lapses by torturing themselves;but in this way they spoil their present as well as their future;for how can a mind besotted with guilt think clear?Ominous Thoughts about FutureThese too can be very disturbing.They prevent a person from enjoying happy times because he is always fearful that his luck will run out & some tragedy will befall him.The root cause of this tendency could lie in his childhood when he was castigated for every little mistake & made to feel worthless.Such children grow up feeling they do not deserve any happiness--hence these thoughts.The remedy for this lies in going back to their childhood,understanding the situation & training their thoughts anew.Getting over Negative Thinking

1) Disparaging self talk has to be substituted by positive assertions-it is obvious.Therefore write down all your positive traits & accomplishments to date & read them every day.Be objective & honest while penning them.You will soon realize that you are not such a loser after all & be rid of the cobwebs in your personality.

2) Also, write down the constituents of your negative self-image. Ask a trusted friend if your self opinion is based on facts.You might be pleasantly surprised!Undertake to disprove one negative thought every day & see your self image brightening.3) If you want to snap out of negative thinking,observe the triggers which ignite morbid thoughts.Be alert when you come face-to-face with them so that you can prevent your thoughts from going haywire.4) Whenever you find yourself terrified at the prospect of an impending calamity pause & think"Is my conclusion rational?Am i being objective?Would someone else in my place also have identical fears?What chances are there of this event taking place?"In case you are being irrational or hyper-sensitive,this little bit of introspection will assuage your fears.5) When you are staggering under the weight of damaging thoughts you feel a vague sense of doom.But if you were to name the issues which are troubling you,they will certainly fall short of your general opinion about the quality of your life.If you note down in a diary every day what is eating your mind,you will soon realize that life is not all that bad,that many of those issues are not so serious,& you are making progress.Even if you have not made any headway, seeing it in black & white will give a fillip to your efforts.6)Negative thinking is least active when you are mindfully employed in an activity of your choice.At such times you forget about the hurts of past or fears of future.You will even forget to condemn yourself!Therefore one way of breaking the cycle of morbid rumination is to find an activity which enthralls you.7) Meditation , Yoga & Pranayam are great mind soothers.8) Belief in a benevolent Super Power can aid the religiously inclined to find solace in the thought that God will see to their welfare-they don't need to worry.9) For a person beleaguered by negative thinking,it is a good idea to go through a health check up because poor health too,can induce pessimism.If you suffers from an ailment then suitable treatment will lift your spirits.If there is no anomaly, then too you can heave a sigh of relief & focus upon nurturing your mind.10) A healthy routine & a nutritious diet are also essential for a fit body,mind & soul--no substance abuse.11) When the mind is in turmoil, clear thinking & decision taking become difficult.One needs to have a strong will power & insight in order to heave oneself out of this spot.If you find it difficult to do this on your own then tap some other avenue for help.A psychologist or a counselor can assist you to go to the depths of your problem,relinquish negative thinking & adopt better modes of thinking & behavior .Cognitive Behavior Therapy is very helpful for modifying faulty behavior patterns.12) Lastly,whenever overpowered by pessimism,think instead of the good facets of your life.It could be a simple thing like possessing a normal body & intelligence,a roof over your head,a job or a source of income,or education,or certain relationships you enjoy.A sense of doom & gloom is a huge handicap--no one knows it better than the sufferer.You may have everything & yet feel sad,empty,useless & hopeless.The root cause lies in your thoughts,because according to psychologists it is thoughts which spawn your emotions & emotions make your moods.Therefore curtailing negative inner dialogues should be the first priority.Happiness is waiting for you---you only has to lift this pall of injurious self-talk!Pic courtesy google.