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Ben Stiller, Kristen Wiig, Jack Black, Matt Damon, Sean Penn, Ted Danson, and Mary Steenburgen, who comprise the Clinton Foundation's Celebrity Division, sit down to brainstorm ideas for the Clinton Foundation's 10th Anniversary. Everything is going great until they get a call from President William J. Clinton himself.

(typewriter tapping)
Stiller: All right, come on, guys ...
It's been two hours,
we don't have anything.
President Clinton called
on us to use our celebrity
creativity to brainstorm
new initiatives to help this
foundation do even more
good in the next 10 years.
He's gonna be calling any second now.
Yes?
Kristen: Um, first of all,
thanks for calling on me.
It's been awhile.
I have three words, global
breathing initiative.
Stiller: Global breathing
initiative? Keep talking.
Kristen: Okay, well, we all know that
the foundation has retrofitted buildings
all over the world to
reduce carbon emissions,
but what about the people
inside the building?
Stiller: So you're saying ...
you're saying ... What are you saying?
Kristen: Every time we exhale,
we release carbons into
the atmosphere, right?
So what if everyone in the
world holds their breath
for one minute every day?
Stiller: I know they say
there are no bad ideas
in brainstorming, but
that's a horrible idea.
Kristen: Is it?
Stiller: Please don't say
anything like that again.
Kristen: Is it horrible or is it the best?
Stiller: What do you got, Danson?
You've been pretty quiet.
Danson: All right, off the top of my head,
what if we were to start an entrepreneur
mentoring program that
would provide 72,500 hours
of pro bono consulting
to urban entrepreneurs?
Steenburgen: That is a beautiful idea.
Danson: God, I love you.
Stiller: That would be a great idea if we
hadn't already done it and
you hadn't just read it.
Danson: No, I didn't.
Stiller: For sure.
Danson: I didn't read
it. I would not read it.
Penn: I have an idea.
(snaps finger)
Stiller: Ah! Finally,
somebody comes prepared.
Penn: Please pass them down.
It's a very simple initiative ...
whereby people do not steal my lunch
from the break room frig.
That's specifically why
I put my name on the bag.
Stiller: Okay.
Penn: Simple initiative.
Stiller: Okay, who's
taking Sean's sandwiches?
Hmm? The fact that he
has to make up a flyer
saying, "Stop Stealing My Sandwiches" ...
Damon: Can we talk about
a serious problem here?
Stiller: Yes! Matt, please, go ahead.
Damon: Our team spirit ...
... Which is why I've
been saying we need to
start the office softball team.
I mean, I can play third base,
I can play first base,
I can play center field,
I can play short field ...
Danson can pitch, right?
Danson: Oh yeah! Hey, I can
still throw some real fire!
Steenburgen: He really can ...
Ted throws fire all the time.
Stiller: You know what,
that's really private.
Kirsten: I got four words ...
Stiller: Two words, shut up!
Kirsten: You got it.
Black: Ben, I got something.
Stiller: Hey, Jack Black!
Black: What's up, guys?
Stiller: Thanks for
turning on your computer
and sitting in front of it.
Black: Every good foundation
needs a theme song, right?
Well, how about this ...
♫ (lyrics) The Clinton
Foundation fightin' global issues
through business-oriented solutions ... ♫
Stiller: Jack! Jack!
Black: What?
Stiller: That's great, you froze.
Black: Really? It seems
totally clear on my end.
Stiller: Come on, guys, we
REALLY gotta pick it up here.
Damon: Are we just
dropping the softball idea?
Stiller: Yes, we are. We
are dropping that idea.
Kristen: Oh! I got it! I got it!
Eleven words: International Bake Sale
Changing The World One Cookie At A Time.
Penn: Cookies? You like cookies?
I like cookies, too!
That's why I pack them
in my lunch! My cookies!
My water! See? Same
thing, on my lunch bag.
Same thing. Simple initiative.
Phone: Hello?
Stiller: Shh! Shh! Shh!
Penn: Actionable, clear, let's do it.
Phone: Can you all hear
in that room over there?
Phone: Shh! Hello! Sir! President Clinton!
Hi, Sir! We didn't realize
you were on the line.
Phone: Well, I'm a bit busy, but
I just wanted to check in with y'all
because I know you're
doing such a good job.
I can't wait to hear
all the ideas you got.
Stiller: Well, we have a number of
very promising ideas that I can go through
with you right now ...
There's a, we're throwing around this
global ban on breathing idea ...
and the other was a, a,
Clinton Foundation softball team ...
Damon: The Clinton Clobberers, sir ...
And may I just say that the mascot
would be a cheetah, the
fastest animal on land.
Stiller: That's Matt Damon.
And last, but not least,
we were thinking that
every foundation should
have a theme song ...
Black: ♫ (lyrics) A decade of difference
is a whole lotta difference
it's 10 whole years different ... ♫
Phone: I'm gonna be honest with you,
in all my years in public service,
I have never, and I mean NEVER ...
heard so many amazing
ideas in one sentence.
Stiller: Thank you, sir! Thank you!
That's what we think, too!
Phone: Now, I don't want any of you
to leave that office until you have
all those great initiatives
fully mapped out
and worked out, you understand me?
Stiller: There's a lock on the door.
We're not going anywhere.
We're on it! We are on it, Sir!
Phone: Well, listen, I gotta run.
give this speech, but
I'll check back with you
in a couple hours and see how y'all doing.
I'm so proud of you guys,
you're my little celebrity army!
Stiller: Thank you, Mr.
President, God bless you.
Clinton: Kevin?
Stiller: And God bless America.
What'd I tell you about making
crank calls in my office?
Spacey: Not to do it.
Clinton: Not to do it without me.
Spacey: (laughs)
Clinton: You hungry?
Black: ♫ (lyrics) The Clinton
Foundation fighting global
issues through business-oriented solutions
The Clinton Foundation is the best one
in the world
Yeah ♫
You're not, I've gotta
whole, it gets better ...