Kaila Charice

Would you give a fuck for fame?

“I’m glad we spoke tonight, babe. We really do have a good connection, so I’m excited to see where it goes…”

That was the text message I received after my third conversation with an entertainment industry executive more than double my age and divorced, with a daughter my age. A mutual friend put us in contact, and told me how much this man could advance my career because he knows people in entertainment and the criminal justice industry. In fact, this man was already talking about introducing me to the founders of his non-profit organization… and he was going to do all of this based off of my Instagram photos.

Throughout our first two phone conversations, I emphasized how focused I am on my goals, how I want to make a name for myself. He said he respected my life choices and was intrigued by me. For the most part, he kept things business related. We made a tentative plan to meet and discuss business ventures, and then he asked me to promise I wouldn’t fall in love or get married before we met. I found this odd, and told him I wasn’t interested in dating anyone right now. He got quiet and our conversation ended.

Our last conversation began with him telling me he was “taken aback” by what I’d said about dating, and revealed that he’d developed a crush on me because of my interests in criminal justice and entertainment — and also because of my Instagram photos. Yes, he mentioned the photos I post! He told me he didn’t think I was “on the same page.”

A CRUSH?!?

Mind you, he mentioned in our conversations and texts that he wasn’t the kind of person who would help someone just to get laid, and that he merely enjoys helping people who are passionate and who he can believe in.

Well, that’s all a bunch of shit. Our “tentative plan” has yet to be executed.

We haven’t even met face-to-face and this 50-60 something year old man has “a crush” on me? Why? How? His daughter and I are the same age!!

I can always appreciate a tasteful compliment, but I’m not sure what to say when someone older than my mother tells me they have a crush on me.

I have a couple of friends, actresses… they’ve got some decent bookings under their belts, but I don’t feel like they’re where they want to be in the industry yet. They’ve had “relations” with most of the people who could help their career; of course, instead of making them stars, my friends have been mentally tormented to the core.

Now, how is that fair?

On the one hand, my friends were mainly only interested in these men for their success and thought they’d advance their career, but on the other hand, these men are abusing their power and wealth for a decent night in the sack. Knowing it’s wrong on both sides, I have little sympathy for either party, but I’m disgusted by the actions of both.

Naivety, oh how great it is. I’ve learned that some people never grow out of this stage. I’m not sure if it’s bliss for them or if it’s hell, but I certainly feel sorry for these souls.

I’m not one to put an age cap on a love life, but these hot shots who use their social standing and income to attract young, inexperienced dreamers have no soul. You know, the ones who are three times the age of the women they post pictures with on Instagram… just gross.

I was once at a café with a producer friend of mine. We’d been friends for quite some time, and he even cast me for a couple of specs.

Anyway, we got to chatting, I was in the rut of going to college full-time and pursuing my not-so-blooming acting career, and my established producer friend was talking about the trip he was about to take to some island and was in the process of booking a massage. I mentioned to him how nice it must be to be able to travel all over. He looked at me and said, “You know, you could come with me, but it wouldn’t be for free and you have a boyfriend.” (At the time, I was seeing someone.)

By “for free” he wasn’t talking about money. As he said that, I felt his hands slip up my arm and quickly grab my waist.

I was frozen. I never doubted that if I were to make a move on him that it would be accepted, but never did I think he’d cross the line since we’d managed to be friends for so long without it happening. I was a mere 21 at the time, and he was close to triple my age. I quickly got out of the waist-lock I was in and told him that it wasn’t going to happen and changed the subject.

Hollywood is a very small town, so you’re never truly cut off from anyone. I make an effort to surround myself with goodhearted people. I don’t consider these two men I wrote about, or any other man who has these underhanded intentions, to be my friend. If I run into them at an event, I can be cordial, but I know what they’re about — and I have no desire to be used.

The industry in which I’ve chosen to work n has a lot of unfavorable qualities, but I know that it’s possible to be successful without succumbing to the black hole of scum that’s so prominent within it. Never have I believed that some stupidly wealthy old man was going to just “believe in me” and make everything happen. I work hard for my achievements.

Maybe I, too, am a little naïve, but I still believe that there are people who will bring you up in life without asking for anything in return.

When I think of Hollywood, the first thought that comes to my mind is “scum.” Granted I’ve grown up here and was raised incredibly well (not to toot my parents’ horn or anything), but it blows my mind at how this industry is still run.

How has this not changed by 2014? Why can’t decent, genuine people who aren’t filth start taking over Hollywood? We’ve put a man on the moon, we have Internet on airplanes, but it’s still okay for a 60-year-old man with money and power to approach young women for sex in exchange for empty promises?

I realize the chances of things changing are slim to none, but just let me throw the vibe out there that it would be nice if it did. I’m not saying we should “stick it to the man.” Not all of them, anyway. Just the ones who lure women into bed with promises of fame that dry up before the sheets do.

Share this:

Unfortunately, I’d wager this behavior bleeds far outside the confines of Tinsel Town. Some say even to the highest offices, if we recall our history. No matter our age, most men are aware of young, attractive woman. The secret, like most base instincts, is to ignore the calling, act like a gentleman, and try not to end up looking like a damn fool. Some got it, some don’t.

I made a big long comment but deleted it because it was too negative as is this column. Pretty women such as yourself will encounter similar events throughout your life. You mustn’t let it upset you so just be like water and swish around it. Don’t let it bother you for a single second. Be positive, act positive and positive things will come to you. I know that you are smart enough to make something positive out of this event. Don’t let these assholes control your spirit-ignore them-they are not worth a second of your time. Laugh it off, be happy, and get back on your program.
Oh, by the way, your “mutual friend” is not your friend.
Donald

Kaila Charice

Donald, I think you need to read the column again. If I let these encounters really bother me I probably would’ve gotten a 9-5 job when I graduated college. I’ve been dealing with them since I started in the business as a teenager, I just think it’s time things change.

Maya North

It’s the old, patriarchal entitlement concept that a lot of men have (of ALL ages) that they are entitled to access to a woman (not unlike sidewalks or sofas), the more gorgeous, the better. This is particularly endemic in men of a “certain age” who have attained money and power — they think they are owed all the best “things” in life and gorgeous young women, to them, are things. You and I both know you are nothing of the sort, but even though these men have learned to make the noises friends make, they are nothing more than patriarchal asshats who seek power over someone who would’ve been “unattainable” when they were younger and less wealthy. In the long run, these asshats, having never learned to make true connection, generally are left with nothing when looks, money and power crumble and fade. Then, they lose. Right now, they’re a plague on both your houses…

Unfortunately, I’d wager this behavior bleeds far outside the confines of Tinsel Town. Some say even to the highest offices, if we recall our history. No matter our age, most men are aware of young, attractive woman. The secret, like most base instincts, is to ignore the calling, act like a gentleman, and try not to end up looking like a damn fool. Some got it, some don’t.

I made a big long comment but deleted it because it was too negative as is this column. Pretty women such as yourself will encounter similar events throughout your life. You mustn’t let it upset you so just be like water and swish around it. Don’t let it bother you for a single second. Be positive, act positive and positive things will come to you. I know that you are smart enough to make something positive out of this event. Don’t let these assholes control your spirit-ignore them-they are not worth a second of your time. Laugh it off, be happy, and get back on your program.
Oh, by the way, your “mutual friend” is not your friend.
Donald

Kaila Charice

Donald, I think you need to read the column again. If I let these encounters really bother me I probably would’ve gotten a 9-5 job when I graduated college. I’ve been dealing with them since I started in the business as a teenager, I just think it’s time things change.

It’s the old, patriarchal entitlement concept that a lot of men have (of ALL ages) that they are entitled to access to a woman (not unlike sidewalks or sofas), the more gorgeous, the better. This is particularly endemic in men of a “certain age” who have attained money and power — they think they are owed all the best “things” in life and gorgeous young women, to them, are things. You and I both know you are nothing of the sort, but even though these men have learned to make the noises friends make, they are nothing more than patriarchal asshats who seek power over someone who would’ve been “unattainable” when they were younger and less wealthy. In the long run, these asshats, having never learned to make true connection, generally are left with nothing when looks, money and power crumble and fade. Then, they lose. Right now, they’re a plague on both your houses…