Back in 1984, appropriately enough, I read George Orwell’s
anti-utopian science fiction novel “1984” for a political science
class. In class, we discussed whether the novel, (published in
1948), described a possible future society under Communist rule, under
Nazi or possibly British socialism, and even whether Orwell was
describing then-contemporary post World War II Great Britain.

Who knew the novel would be describing the Bush Administration’s
plans for governing the United States?

In case you haven’t read the novel, or if you have and have
successfully blotted out the memory, “1984” paints a bleak,
depressing picture of the future. England is ruled by a worldwide
totalitarian regime. Many of Orwell’s descriptions of English life
under the single ruling party, dubbed “Big Brother,” have eerie
parallels to contemporary U.S. life.

Orwell foretold the 24-7 electronic surveillance of citizens,
modern torture and brainwashing techniques, perpetual war against
ethereal enemies, governmental control of mass media, massive uber-patriotic
propaganda campaigns, and attempts to stifle dissent by altering the
very language through the concepts of doublespeak” and
“newspeak.”

Orwell also coined the term, “sexcrime.” I’m not
referring to bona fide and properly prosecuted sex crimes such as rape
and child molestation. In the appendix to his book, Orwell
provides his own definition of the term.

(The party member’s) sexual life, for example, was entirely
regulated by the two Newspeak words: sexcrime (sexual immorality) and
goodsex (chastity). Sexcrime covered all sexual misdeeds
whatever. It covered fornication, adultery, homosexuality, and
other perversions, and, in addition, normal intercourse practised for
its own sake. …He knew what was meant by goodsex —that is to say,
normal intercourse between man and wife, for the sole purpose of
begetting children, and without physical pleasure on the part of the
woman: all else was "sexcrime.”

The novel’s hero, Winston Smith, is a minor functionary in the
ruling party. Not surprisingly, following his dick leads Winston
to his downfall. He meets and falls in love with Julia, another
minor party member. Julia is an unashamedly promiscuous woman
who commits “sexcrimes” (that is, she sleeps around), as a form of
protest against the establishment. After the first time Winston
and Julia hook up, Orwell writes, “Their embrace had been a battle,
the climax a victory. It was a blow struck against the party.
It was a political act.”

Over the course of their affair, Winston and Julia begin acting
rebellious in other ways, including reading prohibited materials.
Eventually, the two are caught, tortured, brainwashed, and ultimately
betrayed by each other.

Why do I bring this up?

Because it’s not hard to see eerie parallels between Orwell’s
definition of “sexcrimes” and the Bush Administration’s
modern-day “War On Whoopie.”

If you’re a regular reader of this column, (and if you aren’t,
why the hell not?), you’re aware that the Christian Right, through
their designated puppet, the Bush Administration, have been trying to
shut down pornography, profanity, sex toys, sex education, a woman’s
right to choose, birth control, gay marriage, homosexuality in
general, and to otherwise in every way, shape or form take the
“WOO-HOO, That was FUN!” out of sex. If the sex isn’t
specifically between married people, and for the specific purpose of
bearing children, the Christian Right, (whom I’ve dubbed the Holy
Terrors), want to shut it down.

So picture a future in which the Holy Terrors win.

John, shall we engage in marital intercourse after dinner?”

Afraid not, Marsha. The permits haven’t come back from the
Department of Homeland Fertility yet.”

Then we’d definitely better not do anything, Marsha. The last
time you exceeded your orgasm quota, we had to pay a fine.”

If this sounds far-fetched, while you’re in the bookstore,
picking up a copy of “1984,” buy “The Scarlet Letter” by
Nathaniel Hawthorne for a picture of religious views toward sexuality
in the U.S. not so long ago. And while you’re at it, you’d
better grab some books by Henry Miller, D.H. Lawrence, Stendahl, Henry
James, Anais Nin, Susie Bright, Maxim Jakobowski, and as many other
erotic writers, old and new, as you can find, because if the Holy
Terrors have their way, you won’t be able to find them anymore.

Imagine living in a society with no photos, literature, movies, or
music that could in any way be considered erotic or appealing to the
prurient interests. No colorful language. No provocative
outfits. No v-necked blouses showing off cleavage, or tight blue
jeans accentuating a firm ass. Drab clothes, drab art, drab
words, drab literature. Homosexuals are “out of sight, out of
mind.” They’re imprisoned, brainwashed, or worse. Sex
is a chore. A burden. If the act doesn’t result in
conception, it’s a failure. People don’t hook up because of
love or even sexual attraction, but for their mutual ability to
produce offspring. If you’re infertile, maybe you’re just
treated as second-class citizens. Maybe you’re in the same
place as the homosexuals. And yes, all intercourse must be
within the bonds of matrimony. And all of this is rigidly enforced and
overseen by a pseudo-benevolent loving government. The Powers
That Be dictate with whom we have sex, when we have sex, and how we
have sex.

In other words, it’s a society a lot like that of Orwell’s
“1984.”

Will the Holy Terrors succeed in their War on Whoopie?

Of course not.

In the first place, sex is everywhere. Of course, it’s
always been everywhere, but these days it’s positively moved into
the mainstream. Porn is chic. Jenna Jameson has a best-selling
autobiography. Porn stars make reality shows and documentaries.
Writers of erotica are cult figures in the literary world. Thanks to
the internet, anyone can get any access to any sexually oriented
material he or she wants anywhere, anytime. Porn isn’t just in
the mainstream; it’s on the cutting edge. Barely ten minutes
after Apple introduced its new video iPod, porn video distributors
announced they would make clips available for the new device.

As far as sexual preferences are concerned, gays can marry in
Massachusetts, Canada, and an ever-growing number of European
countries. For every anti-fun statute that is passed in a
“red” state, a pro-fun measure passes in a “blue” state.

Trying to curb peoples’ urges to make whoopee is like trying to
stop a breach in a flooded levee with sponges and “Brawny” paper
towels. (Bad, tasteless, insensitive joke there. I humbly
apologize to the citizens of Hurricane Katrina-devastated New Orleans,
Louisiana, and to the heroic efforts of those trying to repair the
damage to that great city’s levees with government-issue sponges and
“Brawny” paper towels).

For all their bluster and busy activity, the Holy Terrors don’t
realize their War on Whoopie is already lost. Which leads me to
the second reason why their failure is a foregone conclusion.

They’re just not smart enough to pull it off.

That’s not to say the Holy Terrors don’t have power. That’s
not to say they can’t make life miserable for the rest of us.
That’s not to say they won’t make every effort to drag us, kicking
and screaming, back to the Middle Ages or, more likely, forward into
George Orwell’s dark vision of the future.

Which is why, fellow fun-loving freaks, we must resist the tyranny
of our would-be oppressors! We must stand up (or lie down, as
the case may be) for our right to spread our legs, drop our drawers,
break out the whips, nipple clamps and candlewax and have dirty,
kinky, twisted, sweaty carnal knowledge with our fellow consenting
adults in any way and every way, shape or form. We must not just
watch porn for its own sake, we must do so as an expression of freedom
of speech. When we’re punishing a very bad, bad person,
we’re not just spanking a bare bottom, we’re also striking a blow
for personal liberty. With a leather paddle, to boot.

They say politics makes strange bedfellows. I’ll show you
some strange bedfellows.

Come on, Baby. Let’s go on up to my place and we’ll stick
it to The Man.

About the Author: J.T.Benjamin says, "I'm a generalist. I write about
what interests me, which is just about everything." His resume reflects the diversity of
his interests. He's been a disk jockey, insurance salesman, private investigator, journalist,
college professor, child advocate, political activist, truckdriver, thief,...doctor, lawyer,
Indian Chief. He's currently trying to start a hippie commune in the Denver/Boulder area.
Email: J.T. Benjamin