Disgusting! Man Caught Masturbating at Sperm Bank

Filthy, just filthy! Listen to this and try not to think of this person as a pervert: 38-year-old male Jeremy Johnson was caught, get this, masturbating – that’s right, masturbating, as in sexually stimulating himself to the point of ejaculation – at a sperm bank. I am not joking.

WRONG

Can you believe this guy would do such a thing? Who do you think you are?! UGH, DISGUSTING! A sperm bank is a public place, for Pete’s sake! What’s next: is it going to be okay to start masturbating at soccer matches and baby showers? Have you no decency, man?

Here’s where it gets worse: Johnson was caught doing his business in a back room of the sperm bank while he was watching porn! PORN! AS IN PORNOGRAPHY!!! Can you believe it?! He apparently masturbated so much that there were millions of sperm! MILLIONS!?!?! Then if it wasn’t perverted enough, he PUT IT IN A CUP and he handed it to a woman in the front desk as if it was no big deal! EWWWW and WTF?!

So what happened next, you ask? Well, get this (again, I swear I’m not making this up!): he left the sperm bank and went back to work LIKE HE DIDN’T JUST MASTURBATE OUT ALL HIS SPERMS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY!!

Never in my lifetime did I think that a sperm bank could ever be desecrated in such a manner! First, it’ll be this guy masturbating at the sperm bank, then it’ll be another guy and another guy… What would the people who run the sperm bank think? Their reputations would be ruined forever because of all these jerkoffs jerking off!

So listen here, knuckleheads, to those who ever want to think about masturbating at a sperm bank: pack your junk and don’t even think of showing up here again. Aim your sperm and semen elsewhere. Surely there must be a better place to deposit them. It’s just plain indecent and insulting. UGH, MEN ARE PIGS!!!!