What @goldielocks did in lieu of a baby shower for her 2nd baby is absolutely wonderful. I love this idea. It's so sweet and so meaningful. That's the type of "non-shower" I'd love to participate in. It's the celebration of a baby without it being a "baby shower".

Thanks! I really enjoyed it. I can't wait to tell our baby about it! In all honesty it was a much more enjoyable experience than my first baby shower, possibly because I was so much more relaxed. I called it a "grown up" shower, no gimmicks or fuss, just a happy meal with friends at a huge long table. It was great, I recommend it to everyone!

I've never been to a baby shower, I didn't have one when pregnant on Amelie and I won't be having one for this baby. They're just not popular around here and while I think they're a sweet concept, I would worry people would think I was fishing for gifts because they're literally unheard of where I live.

I am surprised by the reported rarity of baby registries! I have lived in FL, CA, and now NC and have been to many baby showers in each place. Every baby shower invitation I have received has included registery information. These can be pretty extravagant, in my experience. For instance, no, I am not buying you $40 organic newborn sized baby jeans. That is insane. I do feel like becoming parents can make otherwise reasonable people a little crazy. I like all of our friends, and all of our family, including the innumerable cousins of childbearing age. I like to give gifts. And I give gifts for each new baby, of course. My favorite new baby gift to give is a date- a gift certificate to a nice restaurant for the new parents (including babysitting.) I also make baby quilts for very close friends/family who I am positive will appreciate them. I really do try to take into account peoples personal likes and dislikes, etc. I just don't like essentially being handed someone's shopping list. Or, as someone mentioned above, the expectation that other people will buy you all of your baby gear.

To me, the most compelling reason for the baby shower to happen pre-baby is thank you notes. Ours pretty much had to happen after our son was born, and I am telling you, it was very challenging to get thank you notes out after a surprise newborn.

I've been to one post-baby shower and it was supposed to be pre-baby but he was born at 7 months. Most have been pre-baby. Lets face it Baby-showers are big business in the US (and thus also mostly here) and with so many stores giving the same benefits to baby registry's as they do wedding (if nobody else bought it for you by the shower date we'll give you a 10-20% discount) it's really rather useful for them to be in advance. For nesting mothers it really allow for you to know exactly what you need to get and provided your registry has gifts on them with a variety of price-points relatives can decide to get you the more expensive things and friends can op for something a bit cheaper like the crib sheets you want. (I'm not sure how Australia and England are on electronic gift registries but they aren't big in Germany and it's considerably harder to ask for very specific things without having a friend or relative mind that list. The electronic ones per store really allow people to get you things you specifically want. Which I find very useful I"m always a practical gift giver and love knowing that something I'm getting you is something you'll actually use. I'm going to be a natural fibers mom and will be grateful to be able to put items on a registry that fit that instead of people bringing whatever and me having to worry about hurting their feelings by throwing away the stuff I don't want.

Also I think one per-child sounds totally fine. If people don't want to give you big gifts it's a great time to just hand out pre-newborn sleeplessness and you can always bring a children's book. It's not like you will necessarily need a new stroller or crib for each child, and even if you do nobody expects those to be the only gifts friends can give. I'm sure gifting a ton of diapers will never be amiss.

I'm not sure how Australia and England are on electronic gift registries but they aren't big in Germany and it's considerably harder to ask for very specific things without having a friend or relative mind that list.

Ok, at first I was a little confused about everyone going on about birth & gift registries but I'm guessing it's something like what my cousins did for their wedding: they had a special gift list on JohnLewis and if you wanted to get them a present, you looked it up online, bought something on their list and it was delivered to their house.

That was the only time I've seen that happen but if that's what it is, I can definitely see positives. I wouldn't have a clue what to give a couple for a wedding present and I'd love to get them something they really wanted rather giving them something they've already got. However, with both wedding & baby presents, I'd still like the surprise personally. I think some of the best presents are the surprise ones And I find babies and children a lot easier to buy for than married couples!