Be thankful these horrifying things didn't happen at your own event

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Public urination. Mid-party sex. Gift theft. If you've had a wedding etiquette foible of your own (that dress was beige, not white!), take comfort in knowing your nuptial misdeeds were likely nowhere near as monstrous as the blunders committed by the guests—and even a bride and groom—below.

1.The Super Fan. Annie Lee, founder of the New York City–based event-planning company Daughter of Design and author of Learn to Speak Wedding: Flashcards for Beginners, recalls a particularly rowdy wedding guest. "The maid of honor's husband brought an iPad to the reception so he could watch a basketball game," she says. "He propped it up on the table and shouted 'yeah!' and 'oh!' loudly as he watched…during the father of the bride's speech! The rest of the room was quiet except for the sports fanatic."

2.The Bride Who Tossed Her Bouquet Cookies. Brides should have fun just like anyone else attending a wedding, but they shouldn't drink so much that the night ends with vomiting in front of guests. "She went too hard during cocktail hour," says one friend of a 35-year-old New Jersey bride. "She got so drunk and then lost it on the bus ride back to the hotel after the reception. Her new sister-in-law had to hold the garbage bag."

3.The Oversharer. The toast: an opportunity to wish the newlyweds well, or an invitation to mortify everyone in the room? Lee recalls a best man who announced it was actually he who took the bride's virginity before reminiscing about the groom's drug use. Similarly, a Brooklyn-based wedding planner encountered a maid of honor who reminded the crowd that she had been first to date the groom, and then described how she'd borrowed $40,000 from the bride for a failed business venture and never paid her back.

4.The Flash Dancer. Despite the recent photo trend of bridal parties flashing their bare bums, nudity has no place at formal events. Yet one DC bride had to endure a guest who opted out of wearing underwear to the wedding. "That wouldn't have been a big deal, but she and her husband partook in some aggressive swing dancing in front of everyone. We got comments about it." Adds the bride, "I may have to state undergarment requirements on invitations to all my future parties."

5.The Exhibitionists. "Believe it or not, a major etiquette problem today is guests going off to have sex during the wedding," says Melanie King of Dreamers & Heroes, an event planning company in Sonoma, CA. "I've caught guests engaged in relations in vineyards, closets, bathrooms, parking lots and even between fermentation tanks at a winery," she says. One New York City bride can relate. "One of my bridesmaids hooked up with my younger cousin in the bridal suite, and my mom walked in on them…totally naked," she says.

6.The Petty Thief. If an offense is illegal in a court of law, it's definitely bad manners. One man at a New York wedding tried to make off with envelopes from the gift table. "He probably would've gotten away with it," says a witness, "but oddly, he started screaming right before he did it so everyone was watching him." The bride's brother and a few cousins chased down the culprit and returned the stolen checks. As for the sticky-fingered guest, "I asked the cousins what happened to him and all they said was, 'We taught him a lesson.'"

7.The Peeing Bandit. It seems fairly obvious that public urination is a nuptial no-no. But according to King, it happens…a lot. "People are either too drunk to find the bathroom, or they don't want to wait in line," she says. King remembers one intoxicated guest at a winery reception who mistook a tasting room for the bathroom, peeing all over racks of glassware until King walked in on him. "He didn't even apologize!" she says. "I had to find his wife and tell them it was time to call a cab and go home."

8. The Big Talker. According to the Emily Post Institute, the best toasts last a minute or two, three minutes max. That info would've been useful to a best man who read a 10-page speech at a Florida wedding. "This guy spoke for so long that eventually the groom's mother signaled to the band to start playing," says a fellow wedding guest. At a wedding in Illinois, the father of the bride went on for half an hour and never even mentioned his daughter. "It was brutal!" says one of the bridesmaids.

9.The Brawlers. "My brothers and my new husband decided that my wedding would be a great setting for a drunken manliness contest," says Kate Bridge, who got married in Lakewood, IL. "A full-fledged wrestling match broke out at the end of the reception, and in order to avoid death by suffocation, my husband broke my brother's hand. Yes, I know…classy." The good news? There were no hard feelings. "My brother didn't even hold a grudge," says Bridge.

10.The International Crasher. Wedding crashers are usually just in it for some free booze, but a California couple that hosted a destination wedding in Italy had to contend with a jet-setting crasher with grand plans. "We had never even met this woman," says the bride, "but she lived with one of our invited guests. Two days before our wedding she shows up at our villa in Rome and says she has nowhere to stay. I felt bad because she had flown all the way to Italy, so I let her stay in the villa with my soon-to-be-husband, some close family and me. She showed up at every event that weekend, including my super intimate ceremony at the Vatican. We couldn't get rid of her!"