So this morning the big decision was do I wear mascara or not? Am I going to cry during or after court, or not? I did in Russia, but I think maybe a big part of that was court was very stressful there. It was probably around 45 minutes with essay questions and we were prepped with lots of things that we needed to say. I was writing acronyms on my hand to remember everything. So it was sort of a release, partly, when that was over.

We have heard this time it will be about 6 questions and the correct answer to all of them is “Yes.” And that we will only be in there a few minutes. So, this time Im really not stressed at all. I choose to wear mascara.

At 9:30am we head to the courthouse. Dressed up. I actually have the same dress I wore to the Russian court and Matt has on his same tie. They pull the van up to that same totally nondescript, narrow, maybe 5 story building without even a sign in front, courthouse. Here we are, they say. Oh, ok. Is this it? Right then we watch 12 prisoners, 2×2 in handcuffs walk into the door we are about to walk into. Oh wow! Ok. I find myself being just a little jumpy in Addis now. I feel like I could totally see a riot breaking out on any street corner. And I don’t even watch the news that much. Finally later tonight I ask Matt, “am I being silly to be sort of jumpy and a little scared around here.” No not at all he said. I mean I have traveled a lot. The closest I might have come to being nervous somewhere was Thailand or Morocco or Mexico, but honestly I wasn’t scared in any of those places. They seemed totally safe. Matt was reminding me that this country is in total poverty. The average daily wage is $1. Chaos reigns here so even though it seems ok now, there is potential when you have those kinds of characteristics.

We head up those 3 flights of stairs again. Out of breath. I see that there is an elevator, but it doesn’t work. We go back into that same 20×20 bare room with chairs around the edges and a big window looking out on Addis. There are about 35 people in there. We and 2 others are the only white people. We sit down and just about everybody is staring at us. The judge is not there yet. We end up waiting for a good 30-45 minutes. Job is with us today. A different guide. So he and Matt sit there and talk about the Ethiopian culture, different ethnic groups, the languages, etc. etc. Everyone else was pretty quiet. I found out that yes, everyone in there WAS there for something adoption related. Birth parents and adoptive parents. And all those people in there on Monday were there for the same thing. Surprising. That is all this judge does. So that explains why everyone was staring at us. Many, if not most, might have been wondering if we were going to be the new parents of their child. Thats heavy. Matt was texting a lawyer friend about the beer in Ethiopia. Great. Trying not to get uptight. Im worried we arent even supposed to have cell phones in there, but then I realize several people are looking at their cell phones, so I pull mine out and try to be involved in it. I had to do something.

Sitting there you get the feeling that this is more like it was when judges began back in Moses’ day. For us it is so modern all about rules and procedure and briefs and motions, but here it is just a bunch of people hanging out, quickly in and out of the judges chambers trying to get someone to tell them what to do. Matt agreed with that assessment.

Finally we are called in with the court coordinator who Job hands us off to. A young man. The judge’s office is very small. Long and narrow. She is behind a metal desk. We sit in 2 chairs in front and to the side. Matt is closer to her. The court coordinator sits sort of behind us. She asks us, You have other children? Yes. How do they feel about this adoption? They are very excited about it. Why Ethiopia? Matt answered all these questions. On this one he tells her a story about a cousin who adopted a boy from Ethiopia that we sat with at a wedding 5 years ago. We were so impressed with him. He was about 15. etc. etc. You have met Selamawit? Yes. You wish to adopt her? Yes. You realize that after today there is no way, not matter what, that this decision can be changed? Yes, we understand. And you still wish to adopt her? Yes. That was it. At that point I added a few comments about how interested we had been in this country for quite a while. She smiled and thanked us. We thanked her and left. She was probably in her 40’s and very pretty. Serious, busy, somewhat demure, and kind.

We walked out into the hall and talked to Job and the coordinator. They spoke Amahric (sp?) the major language and then Job translated to me. I wanted to know since we had expedited, could we expedite the rest? What about the MOWA letter? Was it here? No. Not yet. But he expects it today or tomorrow. I said we need to make a decision about whether to stay or go. As we walk out of the building, Job tells me what I really already knew, but was still trying to pursue. The judge has no power in these other areas. Once we get that MOWA letter it will be about a month until our Embassy interview. There is just no way around it. Ok. That fine. We go home this Friday night. We come back probably in about a month with the girls. I really do think God has a plan and it is important for these girls lives to see Ethiopia and where Sally is from. Intellectually, Im glad it is settled and its ok, though emotionally I cant stand leaving her here. She is starting to bond with us this week and now we are going to leave her, just like her mother did. Abandonment issues. I just have to hand this over to God and know that it will be ok.

Next we head to lunch with the rest of the families. There are about 30 of us at the table this time. Again it is western food. Mexican. I really do think Matt and I are the rare ones that would prefer to eat Ethiopian every meal. Its ok though. We have great conversations with everyone. And most of the people need the comfort of their western food. One mom that just came in this morning was about to meet her 2 new children, about ages 5 and 6 AND the birth mother. She was asking all about my meeting. She was very nervous. Of course, as I start to tell the story, 3 of us all burst into tears again. My goodness, Im getting tired of crying, but this whole trip the tears are just at the edge of popping out every time I turn around. Whether its just with Sally or seeing other children without parents or seeing new families meet their children for the first time, or seeing the totally poverty of this city and the real meaning of “scratching out a living” being right in my face.

After lunch we go to the transition house with a different new mom that just arrived. Husband couldn’t come. She was also seeing her 5 year old for the first time. And a couple who were seeing their children for the second time, though Matt and I had not seen them. So we three families hung out on the porch of the transition home all afternoon playing with our children and watching the 30 older children out on the playground. The little 5 year old girl who had never seen this woman was brought out to the porch. The nanny holding her hand. The nanny pointed to her new mom. The other couple was taking pictures for her. And that little girl went right up to her with open arms and a huge smile and just hugged her right away. She finally got a mommy. Ok. Im crying again right now. Oh it is just such a sight. She’s known for a long time that children meet these white people. They play with a certain child and then that child leaves with these people. They know what is going on and they want it too.

Around 5 we left and the van dropped me off with Job at the spa. Oh boy. I spent the next 3 hours there getting a pedicure, then manicure, then massage. Each thing was an hour. The total bill was $43. Everything was excellent! A perfect french manicure and pedicure by an about 55 year old woman who knew what she was doing and also an awesome massage. Verging on the hard side, but very, very good. She called me madam. Sweet woman.

**For those of you reading this to your children, you might want to read the rest first and then decide whether to read it or not. Don’t want to scare anyone.

Before the massage several other moms were there and they were heading back to the guest house. I saw them and they said the driver would come back and get me when I was done. He was a new guy that I did not recognize. I thought “I hope I recognize him.” So when I was done at 8pm it was dark outside. The lady at the register said your driver is outside. Ok. I walk out, in the dark, alone and see about 10 drivers and tons of cars. Ugh. Where the heck is he? A few come up and ask if I need a taxi. No. Then he comes up and in very broken english says “Adoptive parent?” Yes! But many white people like me are, so I said, were are you going? I wasn’t going to tell him. I needed him to prove he was the right guy. He said the right guest house. Ok. lets go.

Jumpy again and now, damn, Im alone and its dark and we aren’t supposed to go out in the dark. He locks the doors. I decide to take exact notes on my iphone (and pray) of where we are going in case he is going to kidnap me. Then I can just email it to someone, assuming there is wireless. Unlikely, but just in case, you know. I know my mind is racing, but I thought that was smart. :) A few blocks. Big shopping center. Turn right. Left at tall light and pointed roof. 2 blocks. Curve right. Pass Malawi Embassy. Turn left. Around a circle to a 90 degree right. Pass Addis Guest House on left. Digital studio on right. Ahhhh there is my sign. Yay!

Matt has been hanging out doing not much for 3 hours. He is bored and hungry. Ugh. I know he is going to want to go out. And its dark! I am hungry too though. He said he talked to another couple and it is safe to just walk back down to that street of shops, head left go 2 blocks and there is a nice restaurant. Ok. Ive been pampered and he has been waiting. I will go.

And it is scary again. You can see people checking you out all the time. You feel like they are trying to walk close to you to grab something or mess with you. We walk fast, holding hands and finally get to the restaurant. Relief. Its sort of a thatched roof type place. A big open fire grill they are cooking on. Looks like some upstanding people eating there. About 5 tables of people. I feel safe. Its a local place. All Ethiopians and sounded like one table of french people.

We have a very nice dinner and great conversation about this country, about maybe sending in our dossier again to adopt again. Who knows. We both seem open to it, though we want to give Sally a good chance at being the new baby.

At the end of dinner Matt plans out our strategy for walking home so that when we turn the corner to the alley to go to our guest house, we have the best chance for not being followed. Heavy sigh. Ok, lets do it. Part of it is not appearing afraid. Pray again. The streets are almost deserted now. We walk by about 4 or 5 obvious prostitutes. They want to talk. Are we there, are we there? Not yet. Ah, there it is. Matt also had a flashlight. He was really watching all around us. We get there, bang on the tall metal gate and we’re in!

Time for bed. Not sure what tomorrow holds. Love you all!!

Allison

PS We will not be walking on those streets with the girls on the next trip says Matt, day or night.

PSS We find out later that prostitution is legal. I would think so. It IS a way for these women to make a living.

March 30, 2011 Wednesday 10:30pm

So this morning the big decision was, do I wear mascara or not? Am I going to cry during or after court, or not? I did in Russia, but I think maybe a big part of that was court was very stressful there. It was probably around 45 minutes with essay questions and we were prepped with lots of things that we needed to say. I was writing acronyms on my hand to remember everything. So it was sort of a release, partly, when that was over.

Just say “Yes”

We have heard this time it will be about 6 questions and the correct answer to all of them is “Yes.” And that we will only be in there a few minutes. So, this time I’m really not stressed at all. I choose to wear mascara.

Time to go

At 9:30am we head to the courthouse. Dressed up. I actually have the same dress I wore to the Russian court and Matt has on his same tie. They pull the van up to that same totally nondescript, narrow, maybe 5-story building without even a sign in front, courthouse. Here we are, they say. Oh, ok. Is this it? Right then, we watch 12 prisoners, 2×2 in handcuffs walk into the door we are about to walk into. Oh wow! Ok. I find myself being just a little jumpy in Addis now. I feel like I could totally see a riot breaking out on any street corner. And I don’t even watch the news that much.

Still nerval (my dad always used to say “nerval and excital” and it made me laugh)

Finally later tonight I ask Matt, “am I being silly to be sort of jumpy and a little scared around here.” No not at all he said. I mean I have traveled a lot. The closest I might have come to being nervous somewhere was Thailand or Morocco or Mexico, but honestly I wasn’t scared in any of those places. They seemed totally safe. Matt was reminding me that this country is in total poverty. The average daily wage is $1. Chaos reigns here so even though it seems ok now, there is potential when you have those kinds of characteristics. And add to that, the pick-pocket experience yesterday.

About to walk into court.

We head up those 3 flights of stairs again. Out of breath. I see that there is an elevator, but it doesn’t work.

Waiting

We go back into that same 20×20 bare room with chairs around the edges and a big window looking out on Addis. There are about 35 people in there. We and 2 others seem to be the only non-Ethiopian people in there. We sit down and just about everybody is staring at us. The judge is not there yet. We end up waiting for a good 30-45 minutes. Job is with us today. A different guide. So he and Matt sit there and talk about the Ethiopian culture, different ethnic groups, the languages, etc. etc. Everyone else was pretty quiet.

Be calm

I found out that yes, everyone in there WAS there for something adoption related. Birth parents and adoptive parents. And all those people in there on Monday were there for the same thing. Surprising. That is all this judge does. So that explains why everyone was staring at us. Many, if not most perhaps, might have been wondering if we were going to be the new parents of their child. That’s heavy. Matt was texting a lawyer friend about the beer in Ethiopia. Great. Trying not to get uptight. I’m worried we aren’t even supposed to have cell phones in there, but then I realize several people are looking at their cell phones, so I pull mine out and try to be involved in it. I had to do something.

Simpler times

Sitting there you get the feeling that this is more like it was when judges began back in Moses’ day. For us, it is so modern all about rules and procedure and briefs and motions, but here it seems like just a bunch of people hanging out, quickly in and out of the judges chambers, trying to get someone to just tell them what to do. Matt agreed with that assessment.

Our Turn

Finally we are called in with the court coordinator who Job hands us off to. A young man. The judge’s office is very small. Long and narrow. She is behind a metal desk. We sit in 2 chairs in front and to the side. Matt is closer to her. The court coordinator sits sort of behind us.

She asks us, You have other children? Yes. How do they feel about this adoption? They are very excited about it. Why Ethiopia? Matt answered all these questions. On this one he tells her a story about a cousin who adopted a boy from Ethiopia that we sat with at a wedding 5 years ago. We were so impressed with him. He was about 15, etc. You have met Selamawit? Yes. You wish to adopt her? Yes. You realize that after today there is no way, not matter what, that this decision can be changed? Yes, we understand. And you still wish to adopt her? Yes.

That was it. At that point I added a few comments about how interested we had been in this country for quite a while. She smiled and thanked us. We thanked her and left. She was probably in her 40’s and very pretty. Serious, busy, somewhat demure, and kind.

Now what?

We walked out into the hall and talked to Job and the coordinator. They spoke Amharic, the major language, and then Job translated to me. I wanted to know since we had expedited, could we expedite the rest? What about the MOWA letter? Was it here? No. Not yet. But he expects it today or tomorrow. I said we need to make a decision about whether to stay or go.

As we walk out of the building, Job tells me what I really already knew, but was still trying to pursue. The judge has no power in these other areas. Once we get that MOWA letter it will be about a month until our Embassy interview. There is just no way around it. Ok. That’s fine. We go home this Friday night. We come back probably in about a month with the girls.

A Bigger Plan

I really do think God has a plan and it is important for these girls lives to see Ethiopia and where Sally is from.

Intellectually, I’m glad it is settled and it’s ok, though emotionally I can’t stand leaving her here. She is starting to bond with us this week and now we are going to leave her, just like her mother did. Abandonment issues. I just have to hand this over to God and know that it will be ok.

Let’s Eat

Next we head to lunch with the rest of the families. There are about 30 of us at the table this time. Again it is western food. Mexican. I really do think Matt and I are the rare ones that would prefer to eat Ethiopian every meal. It’s ok though. We have great conversations with everyone.

One mom that just came in this morning was about to meet her 2 new children, about ages 5 and 6 AND the birth mother. She was asking all about my meeting. She was very nervous. Of course, as I start to tell the story, 3 of us all burst into tears again. My goodness, I’m getting tired of crying, but this whole trip the tears are just at the edge of popping out every time I turn around. Whether it’s just with Sally or seeing other children without parents or seeing new families meet their children for the first time, or seeing the total poverty of this city and the real meaning of “scratching out a living” right in my face.

To see Sally again

After lunch we go to the transition house with a different new mom that just arrived. Husband couldn’t come. She was also seeing her 5 year old for the first time. And a couple who were seeing their children for the second time, though Matt and I had not seen them. So we three families hung out on the porch of the transition home all afternoon playing with our children and watching the 30 older children out on the playground.

The little 5 year old girl who had never seen this woman was brought out to the porch. The nanny holding her hand. The nanny pointed to her new mom. The other couple was taking pictures for her. And that little girl went right up to her with open arms and a huge smile and just hugged her right away. She finally got a mommy. Ok. I’m crying again right now. Oh it is just such a sight. She’s known for a long time that children meet these people that look a little different. They play with a certain child and then that child leaves with these people. They know what is going on and they want it too.

Time to be pampered

Around 5pm we left and the van dropped me off with Job at the spa. Oh boy. I spent the next 3 hours there getting a pedicure, then manicure, then massage.

My only picture from the spa

Each thing was an hour. The total bill was $43. Everything was excellent! A perfect french manicure and pedicure by an about 55 year old woman who really knew what she was doing and also an awesome massage. Verging on the hard side, but very, very good. She called me madam. Sweet woman.

**For those of you reading this to your children, you might want to read the rest first and then decide whether to read it or not. Don’t want to scare anyone.

It’s dark outside again

Before my massage several other moms, that were there too, were heading back to the guest house. I saw them and they said the driver would come back and get me when I was done. He was a new guy that I did not recognize. I thought “I hope I recognize him.” So when I was done at 8pm it was dark outside. The lady at the register said your driver is outside. Ok. I walk out, in the dark, alone and see about 10 drivers and tons of cars. Ugh. Where the heck is he? A few come up and ask if I need a taxi. No. Then he comes up and in very broken english says “Adoptive parent?” Yes! But many white people like me are, so I said, were are you going? I wasn’t going to tell him. I needed him to prove he was the right guy. He said the right guest house. Ok. lets go.

Taking Notes

Jumpy again and now, damn, I’m alone and its dark and we aren’t supposed to go out in the dark. He locks the doors. I decide to take exact notes on my iphone (and pray) of where we are going in case he is going to kidnap me. Then I can just email it to someone, assuming there is wireless. Unlikely, but just in case, you know. I know my mind is racing, but I thought that was smart. :) A few blocks. Big shopping center. Turn right. Left at tall light and pointed roof. 2 blocks. Curve right. Pass Malawi Embassy. Turn left. Around a circle to a 90 degree right. Pass Addis Guest House on left. Digital studio on right. Ahhhh there is my sign. Yea!

Really? Seriously?

Matt has been hanging out doing not much for 3 hours. He and Yonas got their wires crossed and never hooked up. He is bored and hungry. Ugh. I know he is going to want to go out. And it’s dark! I am hungry too though. He said he talked to another couple and it is safe to just walk back down to that street of shops, head left, go 2 blocks and there is a nice restaurant. Ok. I’ve been pampered and he has been waiting. I will go.

And it is scary again

You can see people checking you out all the time. You feel like they are trying to walk close to you to grab something or mess with you. We walk fast, holding hands and finally get to the restaurant. Relief. It’s sort of a thatched roof-type place. A big open fire grill they are cooking on. Looks like some upstanding people eating there. About 5 tables of people. I feel safe. It’s a local place. All Ethiopians and sounded like one table of french people.

Potential is in the air

We have a very nice dinner and great conversation about this country, about maybe sending in our dossier again to adopt again. Who knows. We both seem open to it, though we want to give Sally a good chance at being the new baby.

The route home

At the end of dinner Matt plans out our strategy for walking home so that when we turn the corner to the alley to go to our guest house, we have the best chance for not being followed. Heavy sigh. Ok, lets do it. Part of it is not appearing afraid. Pray again. The streets are almost deserted now. We walk by about 4 or 5 obvious prostitutes. They want to talk. Are we there, are we there? Not yet. Ah, there it is. Matt also had a flashlight. He was really watching all around us. We get there, bang on the tall metal gate and we’re in!

The gate to our guest house. Of course, this is during the day with the guest house behind me.

A close up showing outside the gate. As if you needed my “play by play”

And a look at the vans we drove around in.

Time for bed. Not sure what tomorrow holds. Love you all!!

Allison

PS We will not be walking on those streets with the girls on the next trip says Matt, day or night.

PSS We find out later that prostitution is legal. I would think so. It IS a way for these women to make a living.

We went to bed last night at 11pm. Once again, I thought I would sleep normally. I woke at 4am and have been awake ever since. Matt is still asleep. Thats good. Up to now, I have probably had better sleep than he has. So I spent some time praying about what will be happening next. We have still been thinking that anything could happen in terms of if we would stay a little longer than planned to be able to take Sally home this trip. Everyone says it is typically a month and never shorter than 2 more weeks after passing court. Passing court means in addition to just going to court, the letter of recommendation from the Ministry of Womens Affairs has to arrive at the court too. It sounds like at least half the time or more, that letter doesn’t arrive for days or even weeks later. But with the appeal for expediting, I still think anything is possible and I do believe this is a God assignment.

I think from Matts point of view if it was a few days more, maybe a week, it would be ok in terms of his work, but much more than that he thinks we will need to go home and come back again. At least he would need to go. I considered the idea of staying without him and figuring out some way to finagle this whole thing, but it just isn’t coming together in my mind. And Im usually pretty good at finagling things :) I think in that case it is probably best if we both go home and then both come back, that time with Emma and Meg. Maybe God has some plan that needs to play out in the second trip. Anyway, I think after court we will have a detailed discussion with our court representative from our agency and see what they think we should do. I assume at this point we would go with their recommendation.

Back to the rest of yesterday. Mid afternoon we were back in our room for about an hour rest. And then about 4pm we decided to go for a walk down the street. There is a main street with lots of shops on it about a 1/2 block from our Guest house. Our guest house is on a road off that main street. I would really call it more of an alley, but I think they would call it a normal street. Our guest house is like a secure compound. About 6 stories high. All walkup. No elevator. Its nice though. And when I say nice, I mean clean and basic needs met in a satisfactory way. It has those very tall solid metal gates that allow our van in and out with a guard that opens it for us, and then a wall surrounds it with those rounds of barb wire on top of the wall like you would see on top of a wall around a prison.

We are definitely not to go out at night and we are not to take any cabs. They scam people stealing purses etc. One mom told us of a lady there, a few weeks before that that happened to. But they say walking around during the day should be fine.

So. With a slight bit of trepidation (me, not Matt) we walk out. The sidewalks are completely messed up. Cement jacked up everywhere. You really have to watch where you are walking or it would be so easy to trip and fall down. We see a cool fabric store with traditional Ethiopian dresses. Might need one of those. Things are so inexpensive. At our coffee factory tour, our macchiatos were 30 cents each.

After about 10 minutes of walking, Matt was slightly in front of me and saw these 2, about, 15 year old boys walking toward us. Later he said he definitely had his eye on them. They were walking straight toward me and you know how you sort of walk toward someone and you each try to move out of the way but you end up doing a little dance trying to get around each other. I thought that was what was happening, but then finally one of them reach down and put both his hands on the pockets of this long vest I had on. I didn’t have a purse on, just a few things in those pockets. Matt yelled at them right as that was happening and actually popped one on the back and said “get out of here.” Wow! It happened so fast. Matt said “you were just kind of shocked like you didn’t really get what was going on.” He’s right. I didn’t until those last 2-3 seconds.

We kept walking a bit and I said, lets cross over and turn around. We started walking back and saw a little restaurant and he said, do you want to go in and have something to drink. I thought YES, I still feel a little nerval about that whole thing. I need to calm down. That place only had coffee and Id had enough coffee, so we walked on to what turned out to be a bar with a little seating area in front on the street, surrounded by a wall of red bottle crates. Very “hole in the wall.” Though I guess that is the description of everything on this street. We had a beer. That helped. Little by little more older Ethiopian men came in and sat down, one with his wife. And little by little we all started talking. It was good. They wanted to know about our adoption. Everyone was showing pictures of their children to each other. We ended up telling one man (pretty rough around the edges) we would definitely pray for his child to be brought back to him. He was grateful. For some reason, his parents had custody. He looked to be in his 40’s. It was all good. And that, my friends is how my husband loves to operate in these random, other-worldly places. Making friends with the locals. Those are some of the places ministry really place.

After a while, we headed back to our guest house. It was starting to get dark. Another hour to rest and then we took off for dinner in our van with David and Jonas and the young couple from Galesburg, Ill plus the husbands mom. What a fantastic dinner and music it was! The atmosphere was so right on. The tables are low and small like in a bar, though it was a restaurant. They are these special tables that they bring a round metal tray on. Then they lay one layer of injera bread on it – the spongy thin ethiopian bread. The tray and bread are about the size of an extra large pizza pan. Then they scoop out about a cup of about 15 different things on to the bread. And who knows what each thing is. I can tell you there were 2 different kinds of lentils, beets, cabbage, hummus, lamb, and more. You are each also given a rolled up piece of the injera bread. You tear off a piece of the bread and with your fingers, scoop up whatever you want to eat. No silverware at all. Id eaten Ethiopian food once about 20 years ago in LA and loved it. I think I can easily say it is my favorite food, with Thai coming in second.

THEN, the music. My goodness, there were 4 guys on stage right in front of us. They were playing the strangest instruments Id ever seen. Some sort of homemade looking thing like a cross between a guitar and a violin, a base guitar that was shaped sort of like a giant harpsichord, drums and another guitar type thing. No frets. They played awhile. Traditional Ethiopian music. Then 3 women and 3 men dancers came out. They proceeded to sing and dance for the next 2 hours. Very intense movements with this jarring, shaking shoulder movements, the women would do these crazy head swinging things so fast with their hair flying all around. I got lots of video and will post later. And finally they got audience members to get up there and do it to. Yes, I did it and Yes Matt videotaped it. How could I say no? Matt did it too. So funny!

Oh and they were burning frankincense in frankincense burners though out the night. Wonder if they got their frankincense in Oman, like we do?

A few other random notes: No one wears seat belts here. They don’t exist in our vans or in the cars. No car seats either. I just noticed last night that there are really no stop signs either. There is a rare traffic light. People just sort of jut out and around each other. The driving is haphazard but our drivers are good at it. Seems people are sort of playing chicken with each other and then someone decides to move over.

Sally was wearing an 18 month old dress and a 6 month old onsie under it. Thats a good tidbit.

I was intending on following the rules of not eating any raw fruits or vegetables unless you can peel it. But our first lunch, I broke the rule. Jonas thought it would be ok. Everything seems fine so far.

Thats about it for now. Gonna go take a shower and get ready for court. Praying that I have good energy today despite the lack of sleep. Matt is still asleep. Trying not to be jealous :)

Love you all and thanks for being such a good audience. Like I said, It is so wonderful to be connecting with people back home. More soon.

Allison

March 30, 2011 Wednesday 7am

We went to bed last night at 11pm. Once again, I thought I would sleep normally. I woke at 4am and have been awake ever since. Matt is still asleep. That’s good. Up to now, I have probably had better sleep than he has. So I spent some time praying about what will be happening next.

Gosh, she is so pretty!

We have still been thinking that anything could happen in terms of if we would stay a little longer than planned to be able to take Sally home this trip. Everyone says it is typically a month and never shorter than 2 more weeks after passing court. Passing court means in addition to just going to court, the letter of recommendation from the Ministry of Womens Affairs (MOWA) has to arrive at the court too. It sounds like at least half the time or more, that letter doesn’t arrive for days or even weeks later. But with the appeal for expediting, I still think anything is possible and I do believe this is a God assignment.

Should I stay or should I go

I think from Matts point of view if it was a few days more, maybe a week, it would be ok in terms of his work, but much more than that he thinks we will need to go home and come back again. At least HE would need to go. I considered the idea of staying without him and figuring out some way to finagle this whole thing, but it just isn’t coming together in my mind. And I’m usually pretty good at finagling things :)

I think in that case it is probably best if we both go home and then both come back, that time with Emma and Meg. Maybe God has some plan that needs to play out in the second trip. Anyway, I think after court we will have a detailed discussion with our court representative from our agency and see what they think we should do. I assume at this point we would go with their recommendation.

The Guest House

So yesterday afternoon we were back in our room for about an hour rest. And then about 4pm we decided to go for a walk down the street. There is a main street with lots of shops on it about a 1/2 block from our guest house. Our guest house is on a road off that main street. I would really call it more of an alley, but I think they would call it a normal street.

Our guest house is like a secure compound. About 6 stories high. All walkup. No elevator. It’s nice though. And when I say nice, I mean clean and basic needs met in a satisfactory way. It has those very tall solid metal gates that allow our van in and out with a guard that opens it for us, and then a wall surrounds it with those rounds of barb wire on top of the wall like you would see on top of a wall around a prison.

Be careful

We are definitely not to go out at night and we are not to take any cabs. They scam people stealing purses etc. One mom told us of a lady there, a few weeks before that that happened to. But they say walking around during the day should be fine.

So. With a slight bit of trepidation (me, not Matt) we walk out. The sidewalks are completely messed up. Cement jacked up everywhere. You really have to watch where you are walking or it would be so easy to trip and fall down. Here is a short video of the street we were walking down. After you watch, click your “back” button to continue reading.

We see a cool fabric store with traditional Ethiopian dresses. Might need one of those. Things are so inexpensive. At our coffee factory tour, our macchiatos were 30 cents each.

Pickpocketers

After about 10 minutes of walking, Matt was slightly in front of me and saw these 2, about, 15 year old boys walking toward us. Later he said he definitely had his eye on them. They were walking straight toward me and you know how you sort of walk toward someone and you each try to move out of the way but you end up doing a little dance trying to get around each other. I thought that was what was happening, but then finally one of them reach down and put both his hands on the front pockets of this long vest I had on. I didn’t have a purse on, just a few things in those pockets.

Matt yelled at them right as that was happening and actually popped one on the back and said “get out of here.” Wow! It happened so fast. Matt said “you were just kind of shocked like you didn’t really get what was going on.” He’s right. I didn’t until those last 2-3 seconds.

Heart beating faster than normal

We kept walking a bit and I said, lets cross over and turn around. We started walking back and saw a little restaurant and he said, do you want to go in and have something to drink. I thought YES, I still feel a little nerval about that whole thing. I need to calm down.

That place only had coffee and I’d had enough coffee, so we walked on to what turned out to be a bar with a little seating area in front on the street, surrounded by a wall of red bottle crates.

Very “hole in the wall.” Though I guess that is the description of everything on this street. We had a beer. That helped. After you watch, click your “back” button to continue reading.

The Locals

Little by little more older Ethiopian men came in and sat down, one with his wife. And little by little we all started talking. It was good. They wanted to know about our adoption. Everyone was showing pictures of their children to each other.

We ended up telling one man (pretty rough around the edges) we would definitely pray for his child to be brought back to him. He was grateful. For some reason, his parents had custody. He looked to be in his 40’s. It was all good. And that, my friends, is how my husband loves to operate in these random, other-worldly places. Making friends with the locals. If we had another few months here, he’d probably be running for mayor! So funny. I love how these are some of the places ministry takes place so naturally.

Ethiopian Food And Dancing

After a while, we headed back to our guest house. It was starting to get dark. Another hour to rest and then we took off for dinner in our van with David and Yonas and the young couple from Galesburg, Ill plus the husband’s mom. What a fantastic dinner and music it was! The atmosphere was so right on. The tables are low and small like in a bar, though it was a restaurant. They are these special tables that they bring a round metal tray on.

Then they lay one layer of injera bread on it – the spongy thin ethiopian bread. The tray and bread are about the size of an extra large pizza pan. Then they scoop out about a cup of about 15 different things on to the bread. And who knows what each thing is. I can tell you there were 2 different kinds of lentils, beets, cabbage, hummus, lamb, and more.

You are each also given a rolled up piece of the injera bread. You tear off a piece of the bread and with your fingers, scoop up whatever you want to eat. No silverware at all. I’d eaten Ethiopian food once about 20 years ago in LA and loved it. I think I can easily say it is my favorite food, with Thai coming in second.

And here is the “after shot.”

THEN, the music. My goodness, there were 4 guys on stage right in front of us. They were playing the strangest instruments I’d ever seen. Some sort of homemade looking thing like a cross between a guitar and a violin,

These two photos are with my iPhone camera zoomed in. Not very good quality in low light, but they’ll do.

a base guitar that was shaped sort of like a giant harpsichord,

drums and another guitar type thing. No frets. They played awhile. Traditional Ethiopian music. Then 3 women and 3 men dancers came out. They proceeded to sing and dance for the next 2 hours.

Very intense movements with this jarring, shaking shoulder movements, the women would do these crazy head swinging things so fast with their hair flying all around. I got lots of video and will post later. And finally they got audience members to get up there and do it too. Yes, I did it and Yes Matt videotaped it. How could I say no? Matt did it too. So funny!

This was some kind of special Ethiopian beverage in a special glass. Not sure what it was called. I just know it was sweet and pretty good. If you really do it right, you should be able to hold it in those 2 fingers and drink it, but it was nearly impossible to lift all the way because of the weight. If you CAN do it, then I guess you are really cool!

Oh and they were burning frankincense in frankincense burners thoughout the night. Wonder if they got their frankincense in Oman, like we do?

A few other random notes

*No one wears seat belts here. They don’t exist in our vans or in the cars. No car seats either. I just noticed last night that there are really no stop signs either. There is a rare traffic light. People just sort of jut out and around each other. The driving is haphazard but our drivers are good at it. Seems people are sort of playing chicken with each other and then someone decides to move over.

*Sally was wearing an 18 month old dress and a 6 month old onsie under it. That’s a good tidbit.

*I was intending on following the rules of not eating any raw fruits or vegetables unless you can peel it. But our first lunch, I broke the rule. Yonas thought it would be ok. Everything seems fine so far.

That’s about it for now. Gonna go take a shower and get ready for court. Praying that I have good energy today despite the lack of sleep. Matt is still asleep. Trying not to be jealous :)

Love you all and thanks for being such a good audience. It is so wonderful to be connecting with people back home. More soon.

So. Yesterday we left off after our meeting with Tarikua, the birth mother. Tarikua means my history or my story. Jonas tells us people will name their children something that means something about what is going on in that mothers life at that time. Very similar to the way the names were given in the Old Testament like the way Rachel and her sister, Leah named their children based on their current misery, happiness, or whatever it was at that time.

We went back upstairs and had 30 minutes to freshen up. Matt got his shower and then they took us to a fairly nice (for here) Italian restaurant. We had intended to eat Ethiopian food at every meal, but they have our days all planned for us. Where we eat, what we do, sights we see, etc. We just want to go with the flow and be grateful, so its all ok. I think many adoptive parents have never traveled outside the US and kind of want their western food. We end up meeting another guide and 3 other adoptive families and all eat together. One women who had her 2 new sons (siblings) aged 3 and 4 with her. Beautiful boys. She was a first-time mother. Another woman with her new son about 1 year old. Both of their husbands had not come. This was their Embassy trip (2nd trip) Also a couple with his parents along. They are here for their court date and the couple intend on staying a month or so until their embassy date. His parents are returning home in a week. It was fun to talk to everyone and hear their stories. We are the only ones that already had children.

After that we get in our van and head to the transition home. It is essentially an orphanage, but once the child is matched, they move them to this transition home that our Agency, America World, runs. We pull into some solid metal gates that a guard opens. It is definitely a run down place, but that is to be expected. A little playground is the first thing we see and then we head up a few steps to the covered front porch. Jonas says to sit down on the 2 leather couches on the porch and he will check on Selamawit.

She is asleep and he says they would prefer not to wake her, but wait until she wakes up. Oh yes. Definitely. Never wake a sleeping baby. Especially as they are about to meet their new parents. We want as good an experience as we can get now. They are worried we will be bored. Everybody we meet here is beyond kind and accommodating. What they lack in a well run country, the make up in the people. We say we are very happy to just lie down on the couches and take a nap while Selam naps (thats what they call her sometimes.) Ok. Jonas says he will videotape our first meeting. So happy about that. In Russia we were not allowed to videotape that first meeting. But soon after.

In the meantime a batch of children about ages 5-14 run out as if for recess to the playground. Precious children. They kick a soccer ball around, play jacks with rocks. One of them, about 6-7, looks at me and says “Mama?” Oh goodness. You have to control yourself not to want to take all of them home. They know we are there to adopt someone.

Finally a nanny brings Selamawit. My first thought is she is beautiful. She has very dark brown smooth beautiful skin. Big doe eyes. She is holding on tight to the nanny and definitely not sure about who we are and what the heck do we want. Im sort of not sure if we should just let the nanny hold her for a bit, but the nanny waits for about 30 seconds as we talk to her and then hands her over. I take her and she crys. Doesn’t want to leave the nanny, but just about 10 seconds later she stops as I start talking to her and doing the normal mommy bounce and walk around. It is so interesting this first meeting. You are really both just checking each other out. It isn’t this immediate love thing. From both points of view. I mean I definitely know she is ours and the one God brought us. Its not that. Its more about just a bonding that takes a little time. So we spend the next 2 hours checking each other out on the porch of the home. I do all of the interacting while Matt sits and watches and/or naps. Its best that way.

Even though she is very wary of us, she is also very calm and peaceful. She is definitely her name which means peaceful and content. She very easily just sits in my lap and lets me hold her however I want. She doesn’t smile at all. About 30 minutes later they bring me a bottle of really warm milk. I put her back in that cradled position and give her the bottle. She drinks it. Loves it. And looks up at me the entire time. We will do that ALOT. That position where she eats and looks at mom at that distance of about a foot is so essential in bonding. With Luke he was already being trained to use a cup when we got him at 13 months. I through it out and went back to a bottle. Didn’t care how long we used that bottle as I don’t here either. You, little girl, are gonna get what you missed.

A little later they brought some pureed banana. She ate that fine. And then I changed her diaper and noticed 2 big oval scars. 1 about an inch above her belly button and 1 an inch below. They were identical about 1 1/2 inches wide and 1 inch tall. Hmm. What in the world is that? Jonas asked the nanny and has since asked some others, though we should be able to confirm the story with the birth mother at some point. We think it was a cultural thing they did in her city for abdominal pain, like colic or something similar. They would cauterize (that was the word used – looks like branding to me) the stomach with some sort of hot metal. Wow! That is something. So Im sort of just trying to take that all in. Ok, well, thats just what they do, i suppose. That then brought to mind other things Id heard about that they do to girls and women in Ethiopia in some tribal cultures. Female circumcision. I checked. She was not. Later the pediatrician tells us this is usually only for older girls. Marrying age. Gracious.

Still, you never know.

Finally near the end of our time, I figure out if I lift her up in the air and then bring her down, she will smile. That was so nice to see. She wasn’t at all interested in either the light or dark brown baby doll. I also had a wooden ring stacking toy and she loved playing with that.

She is still getting over a cold, ear infection (she would mess with her ears) and some sort of fungal infection that the pediatrician later showed us. It was barely noticeable on her head. They were treating it. I could also feel a rumbling in her lungs when she would breath so she was pressing through a little, but not fussy at all. Very peaceful and content. Just wary.

At the end Matt got involved, talked to her and held her. She didn’t cry. Just checking him out again. And that was it. It was time to go and we would be back tomorrow morning to have our meeting with the pediatrician. Once we did that we would tell Duni, yes we are ready to go to court. We were really ready now, but just wanted to do the “due diligence” as Matt said.

We headed back to our guest house, as they call it. Had a little rest in the room for about 1 1/2 hours and then had dinner down in the lobby where the tables are. Several of the other families ate there too and we all talked. Rice and some kind of roast chicken in a spicy tomato pepper sauce. Very good.

They found Maureen’s paperwork, PTL! I wonder what would have happened had she not come and pushed it. We hit the sack at about 8pm. I woke up and thought it must be about 5 or 6 am. It was 12:45am. Oh goodness. I stayed up all day thinking I would sleep all night. But really according to my time clock I just took an afternoon nap. Matt had woken about 30 minutes before. We ended up being awake til 6am alternately getting up, playing on laptop or phone, lying back down just to rest and talking. It was actually fun. Finally I slept from 6-730am. That was good, but I felt like a dead weight and it was time to go eat breakfast.

Oh, the coffee. It is sooo good. Yes, Im drinking coffee while in Ethiopia. It is the thing to do. It is so dark and a lot of cream barely turns it a lighter color, but the taste is smooth. Mmmmm. We had an omelet. Very good. And some local breads. Back in the van now and back to the Transition Home.

We walk back up to the porch and look in the big glass window to the Selamawits room. The beds are in there and the play area and the eating area. She is sitting at a table with about 10 other babies. Its a table with 10 sort of high chairs cut into it. Her back is to us. The nanny tells her to look around and she looks at us with those big brown eyes and I know she is thinking, “What are they doing here again? And what do they want? They are definitely looking at me. Hmmm.”

The nanny brings her out and I finish feeding her. She is fine to be with me, but still wary. After about 30-45 minutes she yawns and looks at me. I press her head slightly, down on my shoulder and she surrenders easily and falls asleep on my chest. Oh the glory of holding a baby like that while they sleep. I am now falling in love. She must trust me a little bit. Or maybe its more that she has no choice. We sit like that for about 30 minutes with Maureen and her little boy next to us. A nice breeze is passing through the porch. Its a perfect moment.

Next it is our turn to meet the pediatrician. I love this woman. I wish she were a pediatrician in the United States. She is probably around 60. She has only been working here for about 2 months. She used to work for the Embassy. Im not sure in what way. We walk in her very small office at the back of the transition home and sit down in 2 chairs next to her desk. She holds Selamawit and proceeds to tell us that from the moment she met her she sensed that she was fine physically. That her brain was fine, but that she didn’t trust. For whatever reason, she just didn’t trust and that all she needed now was love, skin to skin nurturing, attention, nourishment and she will do fine. She went on about God and his plan for her and the spiritual side of health and the mind and how important all of it together is – like a holistic point of view. Oh my goodness, I have never heard a traditional doctor talk this way. I felt like she was a prophet sent from God to speak into parents lives like us about this orphaned child. I already believed these things, but to have her just go off on it so naturally and so sublimely and lovingly. That meeting was a gift from God to us. About 1/2 way through I asked if I could videotape her and she said “of course.” I wish I would have from the start. She asked if we would keep her up to date on Selamawits progress. She would love to know. Yes, ma’am, certainly.

We walked back out to the yard and sat on a blanket with Maureen and her little boy. Maureen is 45. Had her first child at 42. So being the oldest moms, we had a lot in common. Its been fun getting to know her. She lives in Hawaii and her husband is military just recently stationed in Quatar. They saw each other about 6 months last year. He gets out next year and they are not sure what he will do. But not the airlines. He is tired of being away from his family.

We all just went to lunch again. We met the other families at a restaurant. Again, italian but some other things too. Their were beautiful Ethiopian paintings all over for sale. I found one I really liked. We will think about it.

And next we went to a coffee factory in town. First we sat in the coffee bar and had a macchiato. Basically espresso and milk. Again, so, so good. Then we bought a bunch of coffee to bring home and then walked around the factory and found out how they made it, mostly for export. Fascinating process.

Tonight on the agenda is Ethiopian food for dinner – finally! and traditional Ethiopian dancing. This should be wonderful.

And tomorrow we go to court in the morning, the Transition Home in the afternoon to hang out with Sally for a few hours and then I get a massage, manicure and pedicure. Oh how exciting. I think Jonas and Matt are going to the bar. I said “knock yourself out boys. I’ll be very happy getting the massage!”

Love you all!

Allison

PS This needs lots of editing but its late and I gotta get to bed.

PSS Thanks so much for all your responses. We love it!

March 29, 2011 4pm

So. Yesterday, we left off after our meeting with Selamawit’s birth mother. Her name means “my history” or “my story.” Yonas tells us people will name their children something that means something about what is going on in that mother’s life at that time. Very similar to the way the names were given in the Old Testament, like the way Rachel and her sister, Leah, named their children based on their current misery, happiness, or whatever it was at that time.

We went back upstairs and had 30 minutes to freshen up. Matt got his shower and then they took us to a nice, casual Italian restaurant.

We had intended to eat Ethiopian food at every meal, but they have our days all planned for us. Where we eat, what we do and sights to see. We just want to go with the flow and be grateful, so it’s all ok. I think many adoptive parents have never traveled outside the US and kind of want their western food. We end up meeting another guide and 3 other adoptive families for lunch and all eat together. One women had her 2 new sons (siblings) aged 3 and 4 with her. Beautiful boys. She was a first-time mother. Another woman with her new son about 1 year old. Both of their husbands had not come. This was their Embassy trip (2nd trip.) Also a couple with his parents along. They are here for their court date and the couple intend on staying a month or so until their embassy date. His parents are returning home in a week. It was fun to talk to everyone and hear their stories. We are the only ones that already have children.

Our new friends – Yonas, Job, David

Remember, we still haven’t slept, have already gone to court and met with Sally’s birth mother and it is only 1pm. Yonas, Matt and I stop for some coffee before we meet Sally. I didn’t have any for fear of never sleeping again! My coffee cutoff time is noon. Actually I only drink tea at home, but I LOVE coffee so I am making an exception in Ethiopia where coffee is king!

We get in our van and head to the transition home. It is essentially an orphanage, but once the child is matched, they move them to this transition home that our Agency, America World, runs. We pull into some solid metal gates that a guard opens. It is definitely a run down place, but that is to be expected. A little playground is the first thing we see and then we head up a few steps to a covered front porch. Yonas says to sit down on the 2 leather couches on the porch and he will check on Selamawit.

She is asleep

And he says they would prefer not to wake her, but wait until she wakes up. Oh yes. Definitely. Never wake a sleeping baby. Especially as they are about to meet their new parents. We want as good an experience as we can get now. They are worried we will be bored. Everybody we meet here is beyond kind and accommodating. What they lack in a well run country, the make up in the people. We say we are very happy to just lie down on the couches and take a nap while Selam naps (that’s what they call her sometimes.)

Yonas says he will videotape our first meeting. So happy about that. In Russia we were not allowed to videotape that first meeting. But soon after.

In the meantime a batch of children, about ages 5-14, run out, as if for recess, to the playground. Precious children. They kick a soccer ball around, play jacks with rocks. One of them, about 6-7, looks at me and says “Mama?” Oh goodness. You have to control yourself not to want to take all of them home. They know we are there to adopt someone.

Finally a nanny brings Selamawit

My first thought is she is beautiful. She has very dark brown smooth beautiful skin. Big doe eyes. She is holding on tight to the nanny and definitely not sure about who we are and what the heck do we want. I’m sort of not sure if we should just let the nanny hold her for a bit, but the nanny waits for about 30 seconds as we talk to her and then hands her over. I take her and she crys. Doesn’t want to leave the nanny, but just about 10 seconds later she stops as I start talking to her and doing the normal mommy bounce and walk around.

It is so interesting this first meeting. You are really both just checking each other out. It isn’t this immediate love thing. From both points of view. I mean I definitely know she is ours and the one God brought us. It’s not that. It’s more about just a bonding that takes a little time. So we spend the next 2 hours checking each other out on the porch of the home. I do all of the interacting while Matt sits and watches and/or naps. It’s best that way.

(See the video of our first meeting with Sally at the end of this post.)

Even though she is very wary of us, she is also very calm and peaceful.

She is definitely her name which means peaceful and content. She very easily just sits in my lap and lets me hold her however I want. She doesn’t smile at all. About 30 minutes later they bring me a bottle of really warm milk. I put her back in that cradled position and give her the bottle. She drinks it. Loves it. And looks up at me the entire time. We will do that ALOT. That position where she eats and looks at mom at that distance of about a foot is so essential in bonding. With Luke he was already being trained to use a cup when we got him at 13 months. I threw it out and went back to a bottle. Didn’t care how long we used that bottle as I don’t here either. You, little girl, are gonna get what you missed. I’m not sure what that was, but God knows.

A little later they brought some pureed banana. She ate that fine. And then I changed her diaper and noticed 2 big oval scars. 1 about an inch above her belly button and 1 an inch below. They were very similar about 1 1/2 inches wide and 1 inch tall. Hmm. What in the world is that? Yonas asked the nanny and has since asked some others, though we should be able to confirm the story with the birth mother at some point. We think it was a cultural thing they did in her town for abdominal pain, like colic or something similar. Or it could have been a boil. They would cauterize (that was the word used) the stomach with some sort of hot metal.

Wow! That is something. So I’m sort of just trying to take that all in. Ok, well, that’s just what they do, I suppose. That then brought to mind other things I’d heard about that they do to girls and women in Ethiopia in some tribal cultures. Female circumcision. I checked. She was not. Later the pediatrician tells us this is usually only for older girls. Marrying age. Gracious.

Still, you never know.

Finally near the end of our time, I figure out if I lift her up in the air and then bring her down, she will smile. That was so nice to see. She wasn’t at all interested in either the light or dark brown baby doll. I also had a wooden ring stacking toy and she loved playing with that.

She is still getting over a cold, ear infection (she would mess with her ears) and some sort of fungal infection that the pediatrician later showed us. It was barely noticeable on her head. They were treating it. I could also feel a rumbling in her lungs when she would breath so she was pressing through a little, but not fussy at all. Very peaceful and content. Just wary.

At the end Matt got involved, talked to her and held her. She didn’t cry. Just checking him out again.

And that was it. It was time to go and we would be back tomorrow morning to have our meeting with the pediatrician. Once we did that we would tell Duni, yes we are ready to go to court. We were really ready now, but just wanted to do the “due diligence” as Matt said.

Time for dinner

We headed back to our guest house, as they call it. Had a little rest in the room for about 1 1/2 hours and then had dinner down in the lobby where the tables are. Several of the other families ate there too and we all talked. Rice and some kind of roast chicken in a spicy tomato pepper sauce. Very good.

They found Maureen’s paperwork, PTL! I wonder what would have happened had she not come and pushed it.

We hit the sack at about 8pm. I woke up and thought it must be about 5 or 6 am. It was 12:45am. Oh goodness. I stayed up all day thinking I would sleep all night. But really according to my time clock I just took an afternoon nap. Matt had woken about 30 minutes before. We ended up being awake til 6am alternately getting up, playing on laptop or phone, lying back down just to rest and talking. It was actually fun. Finally I slept from 6-730am. That was good, but I felt like a dead weight and it was time to go eat breakfast.

Oh, the coffee

It is sooo good. Yes, I’m drinking coffee while in Ethiopia. It is the thing to do. It is so dark and a lot of cream barely turns it a lighter color, but the taste is smooth. Mmmmm. We had an omelet. Very good. And some local breads.

Back in the van now and back to the Transition Home

We walk back up to the porch and look in the big glass window to Selamawit’s room. The beds are in there and the play area and the eating area. She is sitting at a table with about 10 other babies. It’s a table with 10 sort of high chairs cut into it. Her back is to us. The nanny tells her to look around and she looks at us with those big brown eyes and I know she is thinking, “What are THEY doing here again? And what do they want? They are definitely looking at me. Hmmm.”

The nanny brings her out and I finish feeding her. She is fine to be with me, but still wary. After about 30-45 minutes she yawns and looks at me. I press her head slightly, down on my shoulder and she surrenders easily and falls asleep on my chest.

Oh the glory of holding a baby like that while they sleep. I am now falling in love. She must trust me a little bit. Or maybe it’s more that she has no choice. We sit like that for about 30 minutes with Maureen and her little boy next to us. A nice breeze is passing through the porch. It’s a perfect moment.

Next it is our turn to meet the pediatrician.

I love this woman. She is probably around 60. She has only been working here for about 2 months. She used to work for the Embassy. I’m not sure in what way.

We walk in her very small office at the back of the transition home and sit down in 2 chairs next to her desk. She holds Selamawit and proceeds to tell us that from the moment she met her she sensed that she was fine physically. That her brain was fine, but that she didn’t trust. For whatever reason, she just didn’t trust and that all she needed now was love, skin to skin nurturing, attention, nourishment and she will do fine. She went on about God and his plan for her and the spiritual side of health and the mind and how important all of it together is – like a holistic point of view.

Oh my goodness, I have never heard a traditional medical doctor talk this way. I felt like she was a prophet sent from God to speak into parents lives like us about this orphaned child. I already believed these things, but to have her just go off on it so naturally and so sublimely and lovingly. That meeting was a gift from God to us. About 1/2 way through I asked if I could videotape her and she said “of course.” I wish I would have from the start. She asked if we would keep her up to date on Selamawit’s progress. She would love to know. Yes, ma’am, certainly.

Older moms

We walked back out to the yard and sat on a blanket with Maureen and her little boy. Maureen is 45. Had her first child at 42. So being the oldest moms, we had a lot in common. It’s been fun getting to know her. She lives in Hawaii and her husband is military just recently stationed in Quatar. They saw each other about 6 months last year. He gets out next year and they are not sure what he will do. But not the airlines. He is tired of being away from his family.

Lunch

We all just went to lunch again. We met the other families at a restaurant. Again, Italian but some other things too. There were beautiful Ethiopian paintings all over for sale. I found one I really liked. We will think about it.

And next we went to a coffee factory in town. First we sat in the coffee bar and had a macchiato.

Basically espresso and milk. Again, so, so good. Then we bought a bunch of coffee to bring home and then walked around the factory and found out how they made it, mostly for export.

Fascinating process.

Tonight on the agenda is Ethiopian food for dinner – finally! And traditional Ethiopian dancing. This should be wonderful.

And tomorrow we go to court in the morning, the Transition Home in the afternoon to hang out with Sally for a few hours and then I get a massage, manicure and pedicure. Oh how exciting. I think Yonas and Matt are going to the bar. I said “Knock yourself out boys. I’ll be very happy getting the massage!”

PS Click here to see video of our first meeting with Sally

The full wall sign right as we walked into the airport from the tarmac.

March 28, 2011

Well. I guess I didn’t know what a whirlwind was until today happened. I did get 2 hours of sleep last night on the plane and I have stayed up all day (we landed at 9am Ethiopia time) so I can get on the right sleep schedule. It is now 5:30pm local time and so I’m probably bordering on slap-happy, exhausted and who knows what else. The writing may (will) be sloppy but I want to get everything down that happened today before I forget.

Matt only got 2 30 minute naps on the plane, but he made it ok.

Addis Ababa, Ethiopia Airport

The airport was pretty sedate, not loud and crazy.

Baggage Claim

We stood in line for about 20-30 minutes to get our visas, then changed some money, then went through customs, got our bags, sent them through an X-ray machine and walked out to some guys holding up a sign that said America World Adoption. Yea! Take care of us please.

Front Lobby of the Addis Airport. Very nice!

David is our driver and Yonas, previously a geography teacher, is our guide. Both are great guys.

Court. Now?

The moment we walked out of the airport and to their van, Duni, the lady who coordinates court and other stuff I guess, called Yonas’ cell and asked to speak to me.

I was talking to Duni as these guys were walking in front of me. Yonas on left, David in middle and that cute guy on the right.

From here on, things moved very quickly. No time for pictures.

She said “I would like you to come to court now. Our court date was set for today. We will appear and tell the judge we want you to meet Selamawit first and then we will come back later and you can give your consent to adopt.” “Oh, wow! I thought this was on Wednesday. Ok. Do we need to say anything to the judge or what?” “No I will probably do all the talking.”

Oh my. We don’t look very good. No one has prepped us for anything. I guess it will be ok. We drive to an old government building, walk up 3 flights of steps and into a small room stuffed with probably 75-100 people at least. 99% black of course. Not sure why they were there. Not adoption, I don’t think. We meet Duni, a very beautiful Ethiopian woman probably about 30. By this point I need some water. Elevation is 7700ft. It’s hot and we just walked up all those steps and we haven’t slept. David goes to find water bottles.

We meet an American lady there standing with Duni who came to court last December. She was supposed to get her child in January, but they lost her file. Nothing was happening so she finally just flew over here to take matters into her own hands. We are praying they find her file and she gets her baby. Her name is Maureen. One of those nightmare situations.

Anyway, we are all just standing there greeting each other and then Duni told us how she thought it would go with the judge. She would probably do all the talking. I asked her about the 2 children thing and just wanted everyone to know we could do that if they wanted us to. She was somewhat negative about it and gave the standard line of ‘only 2 if they are siblings or one is over 5 and we are only approved for 0-3.’ Ok. That’s fine. God’s got this.

Then she said “Oh and the birth mother is here and you can meet her after we talk to the judge. What? Oh my goodness. She is here? In the judge’s chambers? Yes. I knew that might be a possibility, but did not know at all for sure and now? Today? Ok. We can do this. I say “Yes, of course. I want to do whatever she wants.” She does want to meet us.

A few moments later Duni is called in and says she will see what’s up and then call us in. Ok. She comes out 5 minutes later and says the judge doesn’t need to see us today. We can come back Tuesday or Wednesday, whenever we are ready. I say “Is the mother in there?” “Yes, she just relinquished her rights.” Oh my goodness. “Do we talk to her here?” Duni says “No. At the Guest House.” Right then 2 men and a young lady walk out. She is crying. I know that must be her. They walk right past us through the crowd to sit down, right as we are walking out. I don’t want to stare. She doesn’t know me yet. We walk quickly out of the room and down the stairs. I can’t hold the tears back as I’m walking behind Yonas down the stairs and to the van. And damn I’m trying.

We get into the van and Maureen gets in too. She will come back this afternoon to continue her pursuit at the courthouse. She hears the guys talking about how they will bring the birth mother to our guest house about 30 minutes after we get checked in. We will sit in the lobby at a table and Yonas will translate. Maureen says she spoke to her birth mother too. I asked what it was like and we both burst into tears. She said “It’s just a mom thing. It has to happen for completion.” Yes. I get it.

We arrive at the guest house, get checked in and have to walk up ANOTHER 3 flights of stairs. Oh my again. Yonas says he will come get us in 1/2 hour. I’m thinking, “Ok, I know this will be me talking to her, not Matt. What will I say? What will I ask? Will she be ok? Matt starts to get in the shower and 5 minutes after we had walked in the door they call and tell us to come down stairs. She is here. He doesn’t get in the shower.

Good gracious. Ok, lets get the ipad and iphone with family pictures to show her. I need paper and pencil and a bandana for the tears. We walk downstairs into the empty lobby except for the driver and the front desk people. She is sitting on the couch. She is small, meek, pretty and teary. Her hair in cornrows and pulled back. I go up to her and give her a hug and ask her if she is ok. She can’t understand me, but oh well. Yonas tells us to come to the table and it will be easier. We have water and get her a coke. Matt asks if it is ok to videotape our conversation and she says yes.

I got ahold of her hand and held it the entire 30 minutes or so that we talked. I started to initiate the conversation. I knew what I wanted to start with. And I couldn’t. The tears just flooded and I couldn’t get the words out. Finally, after a minute or 2 (it seemed like a long time) I stopped them with every bit of will power I could muster and told her “You. are. very. brave.” Yonas translates. “We will take very, very good care of Selamawit.” Translation.

From this point on it all starts to meld together. I asked her if she believed in God. Yes she does. Then I told her something about how God would be with her. He would take care of her and bless her. And some other things like that. Then I asked what questions she had of us. Her main question was would we treat Selamawit the same as our other children. Oh my yes. I explained how we believed and taught our children that God brings children in 2 ways. Birth and Adoption. Neither is better. They are the same. Equal. We believe that very strongly. She also wanted to make sure she would be educated. You bet. We talked of other details about her background and family.

Then I asked if she would like to see pictures of our family. She did. I showed her all of the children. Slowly told her each name and age and how excited they were to meet Selamawit. I showed her a picture of the 2 grandmothers.

At the end I asked her if I could pray with her and she agreed. She is an Orthodox Christian. And that was the end. She seemed much happier and mostly, settled. I can’t imagine what she has gone through.

We all got up. We both hugged her and said goodbye. Whew! I will never forget that.

……..

Yonas said in 30 minutes we go to lunch and then to the transition home (the orphanage) to meet Selamawit.

8pm

We must go to bed now. I will write tomorrow about seeing Selamawit. It’s all good.

W are waiting for the shuttle to take us to the Washington DC hotel. It’s cold. Supposed to snow. I’m dressed for 75 degree weather. Always an adventure.

We met a guy on our shuttle to our hotel and then again at breakfast that was quite interesting. He worked for Middle East Concern. A group that deals with human and religious rights and christians in north Africa. He was at a conference at our hotel with other similar groups from all over the world. Wow! What a job. His specialty was in research.

We rearranged our bags this morning to get the weight shifted right. Our big bag full of orphanage donations was overweight OKC to DC but they didn’t charge us. They said we’d better fix it or Ethiopian Airlines would charge ALOT. Ok. Will do.

I got two baby dolls for Sally. I actually got the light brown one and when both my daughters saw it, separately, the first thing they said was “She isn’t dark brown.” Oh. I didn’t think about that. So…. I went out again and found a dark brown baby. She will get both. Precious little thing.

Headed to the airport this morning. They told us to be there a minimum of 3 hours before take-off. Really? Ok, no problem. Especially since the last 2 flights we’ve been on (Chicago and OKC to DC we were running not to miss our plane.) I don’t want to do that anymore. It is not fun.

This is the 3rd time I have flown since the airports put in the massive security checks. It’s either the mother of all “X-ray your body” checks or the “Pat-down” check. They randomly choose you to go through the X-ray machine or the old type and so far I’d never been picked for it. But today, I was the lucky one. So….being the health nut that I am, I chose the “pat down.” Always wanting to experience something new, I suppose. I remembered how I’d read that Gloria Allred (sp?) said “it was the most she’d been touched in years and she quite loved it.” Well, I cant say that, but I know I don’t want to find out in 10 years that “Oh yeah, by the way, those X-ray machines we had 10 years ago, did, indeed cause this disease and that disease.” Go ahead. Pat away.

Already we have spoken to so many nice people. We have met a number of Ethiopian people and they have been quite beautiful with a sense of serenity that seems just slightly out of reach. What is in the soul of these people? What roots are deep within them from multiple generations past? I wonder? Of course they are like us the way all humans are, but I don’t think I can really relate at all to their specific history. Its almost as if we are traveling to another planet. (I think that way sometimes because I’m such a Star Trekkie.)

Im ready to go. I’m happy with my traveling garb. It’s definitely something that has to be thought out and many times I have not done it well. Stretchy, comfy pants that just slip on, a white cotton shirt (that, he he, could be mistaken for a maternity shirt), slip on tennies (easy to take off at security), the vest that has tons of pockets (there are so many times when you have to take out your boarding pass, passport, money, phone, etc.) and I cant deal with a full-on jacket. Those darn hot flashes.

This plane is brand new and very modern. Each seat has its own tv, usb port and interactive map system. You can watch one of 8 movies any time you want. Every day Im amazed at technology.

The couple sitting behind us is going on a safari in Kenya. They home schooled their 2 sons all the way through and now they have graduated from college and are doing very well. That’s good to hear.

Think I’ll watch a movie now. More later. Man, we are blessed.

5:30pm Washington time. In the air.

Well, we’ve been in the air 5 hours now. 8 more to go. I’ve watched 2 movies (Unstoppable – Chris Pine is, um, I’m gonna say the new Tom Cruise; and The Day The Earth Stood Still with Keanu Reeves – not sure how I missed that one being a sci-fi fan.) And had some interesting conversations standing in the back of the plane with other people looking for something to do.

Another retired couple here for the Kenyan Safari. A guy here to drill water wells in poor villages with an American company. He is actually a construction worker and will work with this group for 3 weeks. No Pay. Work was slow in Indiana so he thought he would do this til it picked up. And talked to a Sudanese man who is starting his medical residency somewhere in the US soon. He will be an internist and then develop a specialty. He said he was sure we could come to Sudan and very quickly adopt many children. Hmm.

Now for a glass of red wine and a sandwich and a little Rutavala essential oil and hopefully I will fall asleep. Rutavala has valerian in it. An herb that helps induce sleep. We arrive in Addis at 8am which will be 1am our time and we are definitely supposed to not sleep until that night so we can get on their schedule. Going to Russia it was the same situation. We made it, barely, til about 4pm and then just had to sleep. We will see what happens.

Love,

Allison

Ps I tried to add pictures but it doesn’t seem to be working. I’ll see what I can do about that.

March 27, 2011 11am

We are waiting for the shuttle to take us to the Washington DC hotel. It’s cold. Supposed to snow. I’m dressed for 75 degree weather. Always an adventure….

A little later

We met a guy on our shuttle to the hotel and then again at breakfast that was quite interesting. He worked for Middle East Concern. A group that deals with human and religious rights and Christians in north Africa. He was at a conference at our hotel with other similar groups from all over the world. Wow! What a job. His specialty was in research.

Baggage

We rearranged our bags this morning to get the weight shifted right. Our big bag full of orphanage donations was overweight OKC to DC but they didn’t charge us. They said we’d better fix it or Ethiopian Airlines would charge ALOT. Ok. Will do.

On our adoption agency website there is a page that has the orphanage list of current needs. We took items like diapers, wipes, vitamins, toothbrushes, toothpaste, tylenol, school notebooks among other things.

I got two baby dolls for Sally

I actually got the light brown one and when both my daughters saw it, separately, the first thing they said was “She isn’t dark brown!” Oh. I didn’t think about that. So…. I went out again and found a dark brown baby. She will get both. Precious little thing.

Yes, I packed toilet paper. They told us too. Apparently you never know what kinds of bathrooms (or holes in the ground) you will find!

8am

Headed back to the airport this morning. They told us to be there a minimum of 3 hours before take-off. Really? Ok, no problem. Especially since the last 2 flights we’ve been on (OKC to Chicago and OKC to DC we were running not to miss our plane.) I don’t want to do that anymore. It is not fun. Matt is not fun. Nothing is fun rushing to a plane.

X-RAY

This is the 3rd time I have flown since the airports put in the massive security checks. It’s either the mother of all “X-ray your body” checks or the “Pat-down” check. They randomly choose you to go through the X-ray machine or the old type and so far I’d never been picked for it. But today, I was the lucky one. So….being the health nut that I am, I chose the “pat down.” Always wanting to experience something new, I suppose. I remembered how I’d read that Gloria Allred said “it was the most she’d been touched in years and she quite loved it.” Well, I cant say that, but I know I don’t want to find out in 10 years that “Oh yeah, by the way, those X-ray machines we had 10 years ago, did, indeed cause this disease and that disease.” Go ahead. Pat away.

The People

Already we have spoken to so many nice people. We have met a number of Ethiopian people and they have been quite beautiful with a sense of serenity that seems just slightly out of reach. What is in the soul of these people? What roots are deep within them from multiple generations past? I wonder? Of course they are like us the way all humans are, but I don’t think I can really relate at all to their specific history. It’s almost as if we are traveling to another planet. (I think that way sometimes because I’m such a Star Trekkie.)

Clothes

I’m ready to go. I’m happy with my traveling garb.

It’s definitely something that has to be thought out and many times I have not done it well. Stretchy, comfy pants that just slip on, a white cotton shirt (that, “he he,” could be mistaken for a maternity shirt), slip on tennies (easy to take off at security), the vest that has tons of pockets (there are so many times when you have to take out your boarding pass, passport, money, phone, etc.) and I can’t deal with a full-on jacket. Those darn hot flashes.

This is a nice plane!

This plane is brand new and very modern. Each seat has it’s own tv, usb port and interactive map system.

You can watch one of 30 movies any time you want. Every day I’m amazed at technology.

AND we got socks, an eye mask, toothbrush and toothpaste. Very nice! I feel pampered.

The couple sitting behind us is going on a safari in Kenya. They home schooled their 2 sons all the way through and now they have graduated from college and are doing very well. That’s good to hear.

Think I’ll watch a movie now. More later. Man, we are blessed.

5:30pm Washington time. In the air.

Well, we’ve been in the air 5 hours now. 8 more to go. I’ve watched 2 movies (Unstoppable – Chris Pine is, um, I’m gonna say the new Tom Cruise; and The Day The Earth Stood Still with Keanu Reeves – not sure how I missed that one being a sci-fi fan.) And had some interesting conversations standing in the back of the plane with other people looking for something to do.

Another retired couple here for the Kenyan Safari. A guy here to drill water wells in poor villages with an American company. He is actually a construction worker and will work with this group for 3 weeks. No Pay. Work was slow in Indiana so he thought he would do this til it picked up. And talked to a Sudanese man who is starting his medical residency somewhere in the US soon. He will be an internist and then develop a specialty. He said he was sure we could come to Sudan and very quickly adopt many children. Hmm.

Nighttime

Now for a glass of red wine and a sandwich and a little Rutavala essential oil and hopefully I will fall asleep. Rutavala has valerian in it. An herb that helps induce sleep. We arrive in Addis at 8am which will be 1am our time and we are definitely supposed to not sleep until that night so we can get on their schedule. Going to Russia it was the same situation. We made it, barely, til about 4pm and then just had to sleep. We will see what happens.

Hey there!

So glad you stopped by! My name is Allison and I’m a blogger in Small Town, Oklahoma. I love social media, (used to be a tv producer in LA before kids) finding chemical-free answers for everything in life, building businesses with my hubby of 22 years and loving on my 5 babes ages 8-20. I’m mostly into social media video, so find me on facebook, instagram and lately, snapchat!