May 07, 2012

It's Just a House...

Adam started putting boxes together, and I've started mentally saying goodbye to this house. We worked so hard on it before we moved in, and while we still had some things to finish up, for the most part, we'd made it largely what we wanted.

I've never had the courage to make this many changes to a home before. Always concerned with resale value and whether or not another owner would like my choices.

How ridiculous is it to plan your decor around what the next person might like?

Somehow, this house was like a blank canvas, and I guess we did okay because we got an offer only a few days after we listed it.

Truth is, even though I know moving back is what God wants us to do, there is a part of me that is very attached to Colorado and what it meant for me and for our family. This whole experience was about refocusing, reprioritizing. It brought us closer together, through challenges and changes.

And frankly, the weather is so much better here.

When I think about moving back, I hesitate. You know, things in Illinois aren't like they are out here. The housing market isn't doing well. Higher taxes and unemployment rates. Gas costs more.

And while those things don't appeal to me, they make me think perhaps there's a bigger reason to move back than there is to stay put...perhaps stretching our wings with this new plan will benefit someone else more than we could hope to if we stayed where we are.

I keep reminding myself that it really is "just a house..." and I've loved many houses before...

But this one got into my heart a little bit, and while I can usually shut off my emotions pretty easily, I'm having trouble with this today.

Moving here changed me. I'm not going back the same person I was. I feel stronger and more focused, more in tune with what I'm supposed to do. More value on the things that really matter and less on the things that don't...

And while I take all of that with me, there is much that I'm leaving behind. Good friends. Beautiful landscape. A town that makes me happy.

And just for today...just for a moment...I'm feeling a little sad about that.

A little sad that while I know it's God's plan, what we're doing...I'm thankful for the opportunity we had to live here for a little while. And in some ways, I wish we could take it all with us.

Awww {hugs}, but it's ok to let yourself feel sad. We're all here to support you, as you have graciously allowed us to follow along on this journey! Continuing to pray for you and your family.
Blessings...

i so get it. it's okay to feel sad. i'm still mourning MN even though i was ready for a new chapter. MN is where it all began for me...this Farmgirl Paints thing and I bloomed a bit. there's so much to look forward to. so excited for ya.