What we learned: Newcastle vs Man Utd

GQ.com's Newcastle fan-in-residence on what the Toon Army
will take from last night's comprehensive 3-0 victory over Premier
League champions Manchester United...

1. The secret's out about Yohan Cabaye. The man we call
"Dreamboat" made us all swoon with a stunning, millimetre-precise
free-kick to beat Anders Lindegaard. While he's been brilliant all
year, that sort of goal acts as a Public Service Announcement to
other, wealthier clubs. He seems certain to be playing European
football next season - the question is whether we'll be able to
offer it to him. One thing's for certain, though: he'll make us a
lot more than the mere £4.3m he cost us (or, as we tend to think of
it, roughly 1/9 of Andy Carroll).

2. Alan Pardew is a tactical genius. We hope. Newcastle fans have
never been quite sure about Pardew, probably due to the lingering
unpleasantness over the way Chris Hughton was sacked, not to
mention the scurrilous and entirely unsubstantiated story that
Pardew won the job in a game of cards with Mike Ashley. However,
it's slowly but surely becoming clear that Pardew is more than just
lucky, and last night he got his tactics spot on. We attacked and
pressed, taking the game to United, and even as the clock wound down
Pardew was throwing on another striker, Leon Best, to keep the
pressure on. A masterclass against the Old Master, Pardew "parred"
Fergie, to use the grime vernacular, leading to the excellent "#AlanPardYou" hashtag.

3. We're really going to miss Demba Ba and Cheick Tiote. Both will
be off to the African Nations Cup shortly, leaving a gaping hole in
the spine of the team. Ba has simply been a revelation this season.
As no less a thinker than Joey Barton put it on Twitter: "What a season so far.
Pardew manager of the year?? Ba player??"

4. Danny Simpson had another great game against his old club, and
a birthday to remember. One of Newcastle's most entertaining
tweeters, he announced: "Got 2 b the best birthday ever!
3-0 im absolutely buzzin 4 my boys, the fans, n every1 in
newcastle! What a way 2 start 2012 #toonarmy" Always keen to get one over on his
old teammates, he memorably tweeted during last year's Champions
League final (when Barcelona beat Manchester United by a lesser
scoreline): "Not going to lie, I'm better than Fabio."

5. It was our first game with new kit sponsor Virgin Money. They
do say that you always remember your first time.

tiote was absolutely amazing hope he stays like that after the african cup. demba ba better than rooney anyday. hope ashley doesnt cash in on any of them. think fabios better than simpson offensively only.

samiam

05 Jan 2012

Love the coldly dispassionate objective analysis. More please.

J Heller

05 Jan 2012

The dreamboat Cabaye is pure quality. I still cannot believe he's ours. Another (not so hidden) gem in our team is soon-to-be-legendary Hatem Ben Arfa. I cant wait to see him come into his own. That said, Ashley needs to invest in this club especially in defence. Howay