Yet when it comes to international skulduggery our lot are squeaky clean.

The English FA thought they were indulging in some underhand politics by handing out handbags to get the World Cup only to be informed that brown paper bags were the fashion accessory of choice at FIFA’s underground lair.

Scotland has the chance to indulge in a little bit of chicanery of their own in the coming weeks and months.

Thanks to the STV boffins, it has been worked out we can get a leg up into pot two for the World Cup 2018 qualifiers if we are a bit street smart.

If Scotland manage to beat Ireland then we are pretty much guaranteed to rise to the dizzy heights of the second seeds rather than remain in the grubby dungeons of the third and fourth groups of also-rans.

Jumping up a level or two would be very nice indeed but it’s not just the Ireland game that can affect it.

We have a friendly date before then – and it could prove crucial who we play and how we get on.

At the moment our boys are in talks with Northern Ireland about arranging a kick-about.

No offence to our pals over the water but the SFA should tell them to eff off.

Even beating Northern Ireland could see us losing vital ranking points.

Unless you’re playing a nation above you then forget it. Those games do more damage than they’re worth.

Before the World Cup Holland lined up a cannon-fodder run-out against the Philippines and ended up bouncing down to pot two in Brazil.

Okay, they managed to do alright once they were there but that’s not the point.

The trick is to play one of the big boys and give them a doing. It gets you mega points and even a draw in Dublin – which would be decent in terms of our Euro group – would sort us out for pot two.

Even better is this cunning plan.

Get Brazil to Glasgow, take them for a night out in Ashton Lane before the game and give them all the haggis suppers they can get their hands on in return for a cheeky wee home win.

Job done. Pot two here we go.

It might not be strictly legit but this if FIFA we are talking about. If they are happy to whitewash their own investigation into corruption then anything goes.

Okay, maybe bunging them with batter might be too far. But there’s another way.

Arrange a friendly with a top-10 nation and if we are winning then great, if we’re getting gubbed just chuck on a seventh sub and get the game null and void.

Ta-da. Game gets scrubbed and no harm done.

Alright, I’m joking, but it just shows how farcical the seeding system is these days.

They pump in all these stats into the super computer from the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

Funny, our number tends to come out as 42 as well.

It is preposterous friendlies are even counted towards seedings. A total farce that’s open to abuse.

Just look at what Switzerland did last year. They ended up top seeds in Brazil and it wasn’t even because dear old Sepp Blatter was Swiss. Well, not all of it.

They avoided friendlies like the plague in 2013. They played just three, including a win over Brazil (which wasn’t at all dodgy...) while countries such as Italy played several more, treated them like training matches and ended up getting horsed into pot two.

Scotland got done by it when we took on the Faroes in the hope of a few goals and a few ranking points but ended up with neither. The pot seedings are easily open to manipulation.There’s enough dodgy deals at FIFA without putting matches into the mix. Otherwise Scotland will need to start playing Blatter’s mafia at their own game.