The Science of Human Connection

Attachment

Every time you start your day, you draw on the emotional attachment processes your brain built as a baby.

Perhaps you wish your partner a good day at work, give the dog one last fond pat, confidently place your youngest child in the arms of her childminder, worry whether your older child is going to patch things up with his mates at school, and turn your mind nervously to the meeting you will shortly be having with your manager. All of these experiences travel personalized neural circuits that were not in place when you were born but which you had laid down largely by the time you were one year of age. It is astounding to realise how much of our adult lives are influenced by experiences we had before we could walk, talk or consciously remember.

Attachment is receiving renewed interest from a wide range of people: parents, medical staff, education, governmental agencies, scientists and economists. We are facing up to the fact that emotions have a much greater influence on our behaviour than our logical take on the world has traditionally acknowledged. We are realizing that we are better placed to address seemingly intractable societal problems, such as rates of imprisonment, outcomes for children in care, stress-related illnesses, and even poverty, by paying closer attention to our children’s emotional needs.

What is attachment?

Attachment is the biological need for relationships that all human beings are born with. It is especially important in the early years of life because it shapes the ways our brains and bodies handle emotions.

Babies arrive with brains programmed to seek emotional and physical contact with other people. Over the first year, we discover who, in our world, is good at noticing our need for emotional contact and who isn’t so in tune with our needs. A baby’s rapidly developing brain keeps track of these patterns. He or she builds them into the expectations they are forming about relationships more generally.

Human babies need to be able to keep track of emotional patterns. They are extraordinarily dependent. They will not be able to walk for a year or more. So if danger approaches (like a scary predator who would like to eat the baby for lunch!), a baby cannot run away. He or she will need to depend on a parent or other adult to save them.

We adults know that most predators have been killed off, so most babies in the world aren’t in such danger any more. But babies don’t know that! They are born with brains set up for an earlier evolutionary era. Their brains still think they might die if there is no adult to look out for them. That’s a consequence of being born with brains that are not yet mature.

How does the attachment system wire early emotional experiences into the brain?

The attachment system helps a baby’s developing brain to work out whether a parent is likely to take notice of a baby’s emotional needs. If a parent is often in tune with the baby, he or she can relax. But if the parent doesn’t take much notice, then the baby needs to become more vigilant. He or she has to spend more time monitoring the parent’s attention, and this results in anxiety. If a baby spends enough time feeling anxious, that emotion gets wired into the brain.

This is the attachment system in operation. It explains why early relationships leave such a lasting impact on our brains. The way other people treated us as babies literally leaves a biological imprint on our own bodies.

How does attachment theory fit with today’s neuroscience?

Between the 1950s and 1970s, scientists such as John Bowlby, Mary Ainsworth and James Robertson began to track behavioural patterns in the ways that babies respond emotionally to their caretakers. Their insights resulted in our knowledge of ‘attachment styles’, which has become a central component of ‘attachment theory’. Many professionals working the field of childcare or child development today will receive training in ‘attachment theory’.

However, attachment is now recognized as more than a ‘theory’. Neuroscientific discoveries over the past two decades have revealed the enormous impact that early relationships have on babies’ brain development. That interaction is a basic biological process.

So when we say ‘the way that other people respond to our emotional needs as a baby leaves a lifelong impact on our biology’ — that statement is no longer regarded as ‘theory’. The operation of the attachment system is now regarded as ‘fact’.

The goal now is to help spread this scientific knowledge about the attachment system as widely as possible, and to allow people to recognise it in operation. Whenever we are dealing with emotions, we are dealing with the attachment system. That is as true for adults as it is for children.

If you’d like to hear more about the attachment system, here’s a clip from the documentary film Babyhood:

Facebook

Sign up for Suzanne’s Blog

Email address:

Leave this field empty if you're human:

Testimonials

I leave feeling a bit overwhelmed. This has been an eye opener.

Early Years Staff, Glasgow, May 2016

I wanted you to know I tried your suggestion for when I have to be away from my little girl. We now give her one of my jumpers to cuddle. Both she and her daddy are now enjoying the bedtime story routine.

Health VisitorDundee

Super event! Thank you so much! A really valuable and interesting talk on why we need more laughter — not just in schools but in all our lives!

Primary TeacherDundee, May 2016

I can now say to others with confidence that children can improve even if you are starting after 3 years.

TeacherGlasgow, January 2014

I wanted to write to let you know how I’ve been using your film ‘dance of the nappy’ in my NCT Classes. Its helpful in informing parents about the importance of smiling whilst changing nappies. Quite a lot of parents in my area now think differently about what their face says!

NCT TeacherWarwick, April 2016

As you suggested in your training, our school held a showing of the film ‘Inside Out’ on Friday, for all our Nursery, Kindergarten and Prep 1 pupils. Over 150 children exploring emotional literacy. It was a great morning!

I have realised how important my interactions are with the children in my care.

Early Years Staff, Glasgow, May 2016

I leave feeling really inspired to make a difference.

Early Years Staff, Glasgow, May 2016

I leave your Masterclass very aware of the value of the time I give my children — and keen to encourage parents to engage actively when dropping off their children with me.

Childminder, Stirling, May 2016

Much has changed in our nursery since that first training with you in 2013. Our practice is now led by attachment theory, the Leuven Scale and the mosaic approach. Our children are benefitting and so happy.

Angels & Co Nursery, Aberdeen, May 2016

Often during a training event, I have a little argument with my eyelids. But you had me wide awake throughout the session I attended with you!

Foster CarerApril, 2016

Your training on communication was one of the best events for years! Thank you!

Special Needs TeacherGlasgow, January 2014

I have a better appreciation of just how much happens in such a short time — in just a few minutes during drop off, a child can experience so many emotions.

Nursery Manager, Stirling, May 2016

Thanks for being part of our event launching our Pre-Parenting Resources last week. You were brilliant as always and helped our event finish on a hopeful high. I am adding your idea of ‘Finding the joy’ to my list of mantras!

WAVE Trust, Edinburgh, May 2016

Thanks for a brilliant keynote. You reminded us that we need more compassion, curiosity and teddy bear moments in Education.

Secondary TeacherMotherwell, May 2016

Thank you so much to yourself and Howard League Scotland for giving us such a wonderful insight into babies, prisoners, ourselves and sabre tooth tigers! By making your message accessible to so many people you are bringing hope.

Prison OfficerDundee, September 2013

What will I do with this information? I think I will be less judgemental of people’s behaviour — know that something got them to that point, possibly dis-attachment.

Early Years Staff, Glasgow, May 2016

I have learned that I MATTER — even though I’m only paid on a living wage!

Early Years Staff, Glasgow, May 2016

The Masterclass has left me aiming to model more compassion so that all practitioners can interact more positively with distressed children. Thank you so much!

Childcare StaffGlasgow, March 2016

This was amazing. I hope we can change the way society sees relationships.

Special Needs Support StaffGlasgow, January 2014

I have a greater understanding of how events in my own childhood may have affected me in my adulthood — even though that wasn’t what I thought I would gain!

Training with Safe & Sound Project, Dundee, October 2015

It was a real pleasure to have you with us for the launch. Your speech was just perfect. And attendees mentioned your presentation in their feedback forms with words such as “inspirational”, “uplifting” and “fabulous”. Thanks.

Launch of national PREP ProgrammeEdinburgh, May 2016

We recently purchased your DVDs to carry out some training with the staff. They are brilliant, and the feedback from staff is so positive. We want to help the cause by sharing these messages with parents.

Nursery Staff Member, Dundee, March 2016

Your Masterclass left me feeling so enlightened. Many people don’t have a real understanding of how important a stable emotional attachment is.

Foster CarerDundee, April 2016

It was so great to be at the course you took in Edinburgh. I was so inspired.

Nursery TeacherEdinburgh, April 2016

There is insufficient knowledge of connection taught to students. Understanding of brain development should be city and nation-wide. Disconnection really does influence children’s brain development.

Childcare Student, Glasgow, May 2016

I would have loved a 2 – 3 day course in attachment. I could learn so much more from the speaker.

Support StaffEdinburgh, November 2014

Thank you for the knowledge you have shared. This will help me in my role as a support worker for Enable Scotland.