Question

How can I get my 3 year old to sleep in his room?

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Our son has been sleeping on the floor in our bedroom for almost a month now. We've tried everything from letting our dog sleep with him in his room to new sheets to using the baby gate. Nothing works! It is getting to be a problem now for my husband and I who don't want to watch Scooby and turn the lights out at 8:30. HELP!

Mom Answers

This is a horrible problem that many of us struggle with. I think it started out being my fault. I am a working mother and my now 4-yr old tells me that she misses me and needs me, so I would lay in her bed with her until she fell asleep, and then go to my bed. Then if she wakes up, I am in trouble with her for leaving. I have tried just letting her scream, but she just comes and gets me, which gets her in even more trouble with Dad. Now it seems like bed time is a punishment. She is getting better. We went to build-a-bear and made her her own special bed-time bear. But it is still the guilt trip that gets me every time.

My 4 year old sleeps with me and I read about how wrong it is but she won't be this little forever and I love sleeping with her, it helps me sleep better knowing she is safe next to me and she sleeps better knowing mommy is right next to her. They don't stay yong forever so I am enjoying this while I can. IF she falls asleep on the couch, my husband and I do put her in her own bed and when she wakes up the next morning we make a big deal about how she slept in her own bed. I dont think it's fair to traumative children into sleeping in their beds if they dont want to, one day they WILL end up sleepin in their own beds-when they are ready.

My son and I had a very difficult power struggle over bed time. I was holding him to sleep everynight in the living room, and he was going to sleep late, then I found out I was pregnant. I didn't want him to associate me putting him to bed alone with his new sister, so we started. I tried the SuperNanny approach to just keep putting him back in his bed, the first night I lost count after 27 times. Then I started staying in there when he went to sleep. Then while he was awake, I would tell him, 10 minutes, then it got to 5 minutes, 3 minutes, 2 minutes... and now, I just take him to bed, read to him or make up a story, and leave the room. Sometimes he's asleep in 5 minutes, sometimes he's awake for another 20 or 30. As long as he stays in his bed, I don't mind. This has really been the best approach for our family!

I startes a "Sleep Sticker Chart". Each night my 3 year old slept the whole night in his own bed, he would get a sticker on his chart the next morning. At the end of 7 stickers, a small surprise! Worked wonders for me :-)

I find it a little annoying that people are saying to let your child sleep in your bed until they are ready to sleep in your bed. My son is 3 1/2 years old and sleeps with his father and I in our bed. It's very annoying he kicks us and pushes us and tells us to scoot over and wakes me up multiple time during the night doing so! Lol finally I had enough and tried to sleep on the couch and let him share the bed with his dad, and then he started coming on the couch waking me up telling me to move over! I haven't had a good nights rest in lord knows how long. As I am typing this he is in his room crying his little eyes out. He keeps getting up and I just keep putting him right back to bed without saying a word. I plan to lock my door so he can't sneak in our room tonight, so when he does wake up to go into our bed he will knock at our door and I will get up and put him back in his bed. We will see how this goes!

For all the moms who are asking why this is such an issue, well I am here to say that it is an issue for the parents who like "their time". My 3 year old is currently doing this same thing and sometimes he will come in our room at 11PM and sometimes not until 3AM. Either way, when the mood hits, my husband and I take full advantage of that time when he is asleep. I would rather my child not walk in on us. Call me crazy I guess!

Here are some things that worked for me, hope these help. After a few sleepless nights with the big girl bed, I bought a really heavy duty baby gate. This was a huge help! Just keeping her physically in her room increased the chances that she wouldn't get out of bed, or would give up and go back to bed if she did get up. Other things that helped: halfway unscrewing all light bulbs so she couldn't turn on any lights and only had her night light. Moving the nap earlier in the day or sometimes skipping it. Making sure she got lots of physical activity each day. Trying to avoid tv right before bed. Offering LOTS of time for reconnecting, cuddling, talking about our days, and reading together in bed before lights out. Suggesting fun or relaxing things she could dream about to help ensure she'd float off to sleep thinking about happy things, not scary things. Taking her last minute requests seriously instead of telling her she wasn't thirsty or didn't really need to go potty again. Good luck

WIth an opositionally defiant child or strong willed child the problem will be excrutiating, but it will finally happen. Having patience is the key. You will have to put up with a lot of crying for a great many nights, but eventually continuing to place the child back in his bed and rubbing his back until he falls asleep will culminate in a few nights here and there that the stays will become longer. Soft night light, soft music, and a favorite cuddly helps.
Make sure that naps are not too long in the afternoon and that the child is very very tired by bedtime followed by a warm bath also seems to help. I went through this with my daugther and now we are going through it with her son. Each week gets a bit easier. There is a book called Nighty Night that can be read to the child that is remarkable.

I am a single parent and my three year old was going to bed by herself in her room, but kept waking up in the middle of the night and coming into my bed. I let her do it for a while, but just recently found that if I put her lullaby CD on repeat so that the music played all night, she didn't get up and come into my room. We've been doing this for almost a month and she has been spending the whole night in her bed!

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