Archive for Love

Most of us are familiar with the saying that “Procrastination is the thief of time” and have probably seen it in practice as we have other things to do when we should study or write essays. What we don’t really mention, maybe even realise, is that there is a much friendlier, more effective, living breathing talking time thief (cue drumroll): The Mother.

Yes, that’s right: The Mother is the smartest, most organised time thief you will ever come across. With her cookies or trips to the mall and other (sometimes less enticing) tactics, The Mother will steal your time without you even realising it. How many times has your mother taken you to the mall when you were supposed to be writing an essay? Or gotten you to wake up early to go somewhere, only for her to take forever getting ready? Never mind the tasks/chores that popped up when you had other stuff to do.

The Mother calls you, to blind you with her love and affection, so that when she strikes: you are defenceless. Do not underestimate The Mother: she is highly trained and skilled at what she does. All those cookies, ice-cream, chats and countless wonderful things, are her weapons.

The Mother probably created that procrastination saying to draw attention away from herself. Do not be fooled! The Mother is the Ultimate Time Thief!

*No mothers were hurt in the typing of this post and it is not to be taken too seriously or too lightly. And Remember: The Mother is watching.

Yesterday, while waiting to cross the street and singing a Taylor Swift song to myself, I thought (not for the first time) that we seem to applaud a person’s lack of self-preservation if it’s in the name of “Love”.

The song that I was singing was “If This Was A Movie” which has a line that goes

“Come back to me Eli… If this was a movie.. Stand in the rain outside, til I came out”

And as I crossed the street I realised that after said Eli catches a cold, she’ll have to make him soup and all that stuff. That aside, it makes no sense to catch a cold unnecessarily: why can’t you talk in a warm, dry place? And who wants to be lip locking with a blocked-nosed, sneezing person? Not smart

Anyway, today, while on Facebook, I saw this status update:

“Genuine love isn’t a passive, quivering mass of good feelings. Genuine love is a deliberate, intentional, honest, and even painful giving up of self-preservation for another person’s good.”

Of course, red flags went a-flying at “giving up of self-preservation for another person’s good” and I commented as such. The owner then went on to tell me that it means “giving up the “I”, which you have taken good care of because there’s someone worthy and deserving of being part of your “we”“. I clapped once because I felt that this is such nonsense. Even tweeted it. The owner of the status said that she quoted the status from a book but I don’t know or think that her explanation comes from that book.

I really don’t see why one would have to give up “I” for “we” when “we” is made up of two separate beings called “I”. And how can you call the “we” yours? It’s not “your “we”” that you’re making someone a part of: you are making a “we” with that someone. That’s just the way that I see it. Which takes me back to the problem of self-preservation.

How does a lack or surrender of self-preservation become part of love? Why? How does having a seemingly low regard for your own well-being mean that you love someone? Where exactly does this make any sense? A lack of self-preservation, to me, indicates a psychological problem. This is the part where I shrug and sip some Oros.

Standing in the rain is not romantic, it’s silly. Jumping in front of trains, catching grenades and all the stuff isn’t romantic or smart. But it’s just a song, right? It’s just a status update, right? It’s just a comment, right? It’s just a bunch of words, right? OK then, let the toxic relationships, I mean good times, roll

Love doesn’t thrive when it is caged, it needs to free. Free to ebb and flow and surround you. And possession is a problem: so often, we want to have and hold love but it never seems to work. And even in the case of love that isn’t caged: there’s still this urge to say “I’m yours”.

What I think we need to learn and accept is that saying “I’m Yours” does not mean that the other person feels the same. I think it’s not fair or rational to assume such but rationality tends to pale in the presence of love, yes? I’d like to be rational in my dealings and I try to be. I try to look at things from all sides but I fail, sometimes.

Regardless, I’m Yours. And I know that that does not make you mine and it’s not enough to make you mine.

When you were born, your parents gave you a name, if they loved you enough. Some names, however, inspire enormous doubt of the love that parents have for their kids. But that aside, the name that they gave you is your government name. Somewhere along the line, they may have given you a nickname: a shortening of your name or something that just suited you. That nickname possibly didn’t stick all the way to your teens so you picked one for yourself. If you picked your nickname, it had better be a good fit.

I’m called Koki: short for my government name but after years of saying “like a koki” to explain how it’s spelt, I am now likened to a koki pen. Of course, I’m not a felt-tipped pen that comes in various colours (I have one general colour: brownish and that changes with the season) but I am quite colourful (personality-wise). Most the nicknames for my name are appropriate (Koki pen, Cocky). So imagine how I feel when I meet someone whose nickname just doesn’t match them. Not particularly impressed.

I met a girl called “Peaches” on Friday. When I meet someone called “Peaches” or “Peach” or anything edible, I expect them to have something in common with a peach or whatever edible thing they are named after. The “Peaches” in question was light-skinned, I’ll give her that. However: her nickname is not close to her government name, not by a long shot (-1), she did not appear to be juicy (-1), she was skinny (-1), there was very little roundness to her (-1), she had barely noticeable boobs (-5 because I’m a boobs girl). Even worse for her, I know a “Peaches” who is suited to her name: she looks delicious, has some roundness to her and just looks edible. In the battle of the Peaches, she wins. Peaches down.

In defense of the Peaches that looks nothing like peach, she’s pretty. And I don’t know if she picked the name herself or if it got dumped on her: but why did she keep it? In addition, she would look good with some cream on her. then again, which pretty girl (that isn’t allergic to cream) wouldn’t? Furthermore, I do not know if there is an entertaining story behind the name. But I will still judge her and my verdict is as follows: EPIC FUCKING FAIL!

I help when I can so here are some guidelines

It should be short for your name

If it’s not short for your name, it should at least fit

If you picked it, it had better fit

If it doesn’t fit, change it

If it’s not short for your name, it had better be cool and have an entertaining story behind it

I was on Facebook the other day, skimming through updates and stuff when something caught my eye. This something was a status along the lines of ”you know you were never right for someone when..” and this is followed by an invitation to complete the sentence. So I did.

I also added my 5c (I don’t have 2c coins but I do have a jar full of 5c coins). First things first: how I completed the sentence. I said that you reach said realisation when that person is a part of your past and not your present. Second things second (I’ve never read or heard that before, to my conscious knowledge): I think that it’s not right of one to say that they were never right for someone or vice versa.

I mean, sure, it sound sweet or cool to say that when you’re in a new relationship and happier than you’ve ever been or when you’re depressed and engaged in biased retrospection. However, regardless of what kind of relationship you were in (yes, I said it), it seems to be contradictory to say such. Why? Because at some point, you were right for that person or they were for you, otherwise you would never have been together in the first place. At some point, you were right for each other: you were together, happy and shared things with each other. It would be rather disrespectful to that love (or affection or whatever feeling) to say that you were never right for someone. that statement seems, to me, to negate the existence of all the time that you shared with that particular person. That person was right for you then and you should honour that. Or at least, don’t try to act like it wasn’t good at some point.

Love lost or dried up – or whatever you want to say happened to it – is stillLOVE. And love deserves to be cherished and celebrated. Even if someone hurts you, they give you something. You learn something. Instead of speaking of that someone in a disparaging manner, why not celebrate that you’re wiser? That you experienced love? That you were happy? And something you should learn (and celebrate in some cases) is that some things just aren’t made to last.

Love is a wonderful thing but it’s quite confusing isn’t it? Well, don’t they say that when you’re in love, the parts of your brain that light up are the same as the parts that light up when you’re crazy?

The fact that Alicia Keys’ “Love Is My Disease” is playing as I type this doesn’t really help. Especially since I don’t like it… This is the part where I pause to change the song… Now I’m playing “Like The Sea” —laughs—. Where was I? Ah yes, equating love to madness. I wish I had some fancy looking equation or theory that I could present. But you know what? We’ll play this like they did in Physics: we will assume a lot of things. That’s one thing that I noticed in Physics, there was a lot of assuming.

Assume that x = love

Assume that y = madness

Assume that all relationships are governed by the following equation x = 2y

This basically claims that if you were to quantify love and madness, any value you’d get for love would be twice that of madness. This in itself is madness so let’s remember that I failed Physics and get back to the not so logical logic that I call my thoughts.

As I use the wonderful substance that lies in my skull – Biology has taught me that it’s a brain – I remember this: “Look me in the eye and tell me that love is never based upon insanity”. This is a quote from Melody Gardot’s “Baby I’m A Fool” (Taken from her wonderful album My One And Only Thrill). This line actually made me stop and think. I imagined myself having a chat with Miss Gardot (Is she a Miss? I’m too lazy to Google that) and arguing that love is never based upon insanity. But when you think about it, love is based upon insanity. A lot of love stories begin with insane happenings and endure insane things. And as a digression and expression of my opinion: I do not like Alicia Keys’ The Element Of Freedom.

At this point, I’m struggling to continue this train of thought so I must pause, sip some ice-cold Coke and flex my fingers…

Love is a form of insanity because it requires that you dedicate yourself entirely, it requires that you risk everything for it (or else you risk a whole lot more. This is paraphrased from a quote that I love but just can’t bother to learn word for word). Insanity can be equated to irrationality and love is irrational. It can’t be defined properly, it means something different to different people, it induces irrational behaviour in people. By this, I mean that it makes people do and say things that they wouldn’t if they were not in love. Love is madness. Just read Wuthering Heights, watch Twilight, listen to some music and you will realize just how deeply love affects people’s minds. And hearts.

I love the way that I sound like a crazy person when I talk. Or write. Or type. And I type the way that I talk/think.

Madness aside, Love is a beautiful thing. It’s a crying shame that some people never have and never will experience the full wonderment of being in love. I’m glad to say that I have 🙂

#57 What’s yours is yours but make no mistake, it CAN BE taken from you

#58 People are more willing to repay an injury than an act of sincerity (rephrased from Tacticus)

#59 If he/she is out of your league, catch up or shut up. Stop boring us with your lameness.

#60 Recognise when you have to up your game. And do that.

#61 Just because you’ve never felt this way or you can’t explain it, it DOES NOT mean that it’s love

#62 Love is not a plaything. It’s not for the fainthearted or the doubtful

#63 Being AFRAID of commitment and being UNABLE to commit are two different things

#64 Being able to settle is SMART. When it comes to certain things, settling is STUPID

#65 The world is not a big bad place: it’s HUGE

#66 You were born alone (twins included. Unless you’re conjoined). You exist alone (yes, there are over 6billion people in the world). You will die alone (even if you die in the presence of others). It’s your right to live alone.

#67 LONELY DOES NOT = ALONE. And vice versa.

#68 Attention seeking is not pretty.

#69 Leaky eyes can make you look like a leaky person. Being water(info) tight comes in handy.

#70 You are bound to fart in that closet that you’re in. And contrary to what you think, you’re NOT in there alone.

#71 Learn how to kiss ass (Without coming up smelling like shit) and how to kick it too.