A (Very) Food-a-licious Blog

Countdown to Christmas!

To celebrate the grand ol’ holiday of much edible noshing and egg nog sloshing, I present to you:

The Twelve Days to Christmas Countdown!

(not to be confused with the Twelve Days OF Christmas, which has less to do with ham and more with gold, frankincense and myrrh)

To start off this post, I’ll give you four wonderful gift ideas that are inspired by our society’s love for everything and anything digestible. Every four days I’ll add four more gift ideas til that fateful day comes to sweep us away into peppermint-flavored Yule-tide Heaven!

I hope you enjoy these cute, bizarre and somewhat deranged delights from the far reaches of the interwebz. Jesus may be the reason for the season, but he celebrates it with mucho eatin’!

snuggly soft

First of all, who wouldn’t like to cuddle up with a nice slab of cured pork? It isn’t just bacon – it’s My First Bacon, the delight of any foodie under the age of ten. Your child, upon receiving this delightful plush, will forever shun broccoli for the salty goodness of BACON!

When rice stuffing just doesn't cut it anymore

Who doesn’t want to wear poultry on their head? I know I do! Every year before we stuff the turkey, we make sure the tradition of sticking our craniums into its ample cavity is once again fulfilled. For those of you who can’t stomach being in an actual turkey’s well, stomach – this hat is your dream come true! Gobble, gobble!

Crunchy!

Mmmm, bugs. They’re not just for third world countries anymore! Now you can treat your friends and loved ones to these delectable treats – just in time for Christmas! After receiving a fresh box of deep fried basement chirpers, you will definitely not get back that Reindeer Poop you gifted last year. Not. At. All.

Not just for serial killers anymore

Last but not least, to get you through the next four days til Christmas is a little bit of divine intervention – slaughterhouse style! Even butchers need a little love and guidance, and after the last ham hock of the year is lovingly wrapped and packed, instead of a tip, give the gift of holiness to your favorite cleaver of sinewy goodness! It’s sure to get you those inch- thick chops you’ve had your eye on all year.

That concludes today’s post! Check back in a few days for more food-inspired stocking-stuffers, tree grazers, and tissue-papered delights.