Hello, Buy Committee, it’s me, filling in for your usual host Tercius. I’m writing this while staring out my window in Columbus, Ohio, where it’s currently snowing on November 7. As somebody who’s never before lived north of the Mason-Dixon line, it’s dawning on me that my coat closet is woefully underprepared for the winter to come. I’ve a few hoodies, a few fairly light puffers, and one warm wool coat that doesn’t go below my waist. In short, I need help.

What coat should I buy? I want something warm, obviously, and ideally something that’ll keep my butt warm. Somewhat fashionable would be nice too, and I’d prefer it not be too expensive. Help me out by commenting below, and know that this isn’t a hypothetical exercise. I’m actually freezing here.