Thursday, January 30, 2014

Going Inside

There are times in the life of a person with DID (at least with myself), that I feel myself longing to go inside and hide under the covers. I get more quiet, more reflective, or sometimes not reflective, just numb.

I am having one of those times when life changes and life worries get a bit too much. I hope my loved ones don't take it personally when I disappear for a bit. I'll be back when I feel stronger and more capable of facing life.

I'd typically been very frustrated with these "numb" times but reading your post, I see that it can be positive, actually like a way to nurture. I loved your statement: "I'll be back when I feel stronger..."- very inspiring- I think our mind and bodies need to have that time in the 'numb' place to sort something out-its just that we aren't aware of what it is- hmmm- not easy, not at all!Good luck!!

I totally relate to this. I find when my internal stress is running high, I can't handle external life at ALL. I recently journal/blogged about it---trying to understand it and to help my husband.

I have a part who lived for ages in a dark room and would not come out. She is a little girl and is out of the dark room now---but is quick to lead all of us to retreat. This requires management and if I am too overloaded, the signal to retreat (I call it 'cocooning') is easier to just give in to in order to re-set.

I have always called that feeling "escape". I didn't know until today that it is DID. I need to "escape" time frequently. It looks to others like laziness. I need to learn to live in the present moment. I am learning alot from you all. Thank you for sharing your experiences.

About Me

I was diagnosed in January 2009 with Dissociative Identity Disorder as a result of childhood abuse. I am not a mental health professional; I am only documenting my views of and journey with DID. Comments and questions are welcome.