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Monday, January 05, 2015

Help Is NOT A Bad Four-Letter Word

I
have to admit that we're only five days into the new year, and already I feel
as though I have made a lot of progress in reinventing myself. And, as the other 360 days pass by, I
absolutely feel as though everything is beginning to finally make a little bit
of sense.

Trust
me, it's a good feeling to have.

And
because I am feeling really good about things, I thought that I would issue
myself a little bit of a challenge for this year. If anybody has noticed, I have decided to switch things up for
the blog. There's still going to be a
little bit of pop culture mixed into every post that I make this year, but it
will no longer be the main focus of the blog.

Instead,
I've decided to make 2015 the most positive year that I have ever experienced.

So,
for today and every other day in the blog, I am going to try and make each post
positive. Or, if I can't find a way to
make that happen (some of the Tuesday Timeline entries can be somewhat on the
depressing side), I will try to make one positive comment.

I
think a large factor behind my stagnation over the last few months was because
I was feeling negative all the time, and I couldn't find an escape.

But
now I feel as though things are starting to come into play.

And,
you know what? I have to confess something
right here, right now. I have to
explain what has shifted my focus on bigger and better things.

You
see, at my workplace, they have this telephone number posted all over the
store. It's a number that allows people
to speak to...um...how should I word this..."professional
listeners". Yeah, I definitely
like that description.

Long
story short, I summoned up the courage to dial this number, and I spoke to
someone who really put things into perspective, and helped me see things
through a different point of view. It
really helped me come to terms with everything that was going on. Sure, the chat didn't really solve any of
the current problems that I was (and am) having at the moment, but I did feel
like things weren't nearly as hopeless as I initially believed it to be.

But
would you believe that I was nervous about even calling up the number in the
first place?

I
guess it's only natural for anyone who is afraid of asking for help to be
apprehensive about seeking it out.
Trust me, I was one who never asked for it when I was younger.

I
guess if you could assign a symbol for my coping techniques, it would be
similar to one of those plastic bottles filled with Pepsi or Diet Coke. I bottled everything up inside, and I kept
it locked up tight. It worked for a
while until the liquid began to make the bottle bulge. After a while, things would become so
stressed out that the bottle itself would burst, and I would have an epic
nuclear meltdown similar to the reaction one would have by dumping an entire
package of Mentos into said bottle of Diet Coke.

I
don't really need anyone to tell me how destructive that coping mechanism can
be. It sucked to have to bottle everything up like that, and I still hate the
fact that I go back to old habits and keep things bottled up until they
blow. But I had my reasons for it at
the time.

I
had great difficulty trusting people. I
had lots of instances in which I put my trust in people only for them to let me
down later on. My mistake was that I
was so frustrated with everything that I painted every single person with the
same judgmental brush. I had people who
backstabbed me, therefore everyone had sharp implements that they could use to
also stab me in the back, thus seemingly providing me with enough information
not to talk to anybody about my problems for fear that they will use what I
tell them against me.

Not
a good way to go through life.

Therefore,
talking to someone who more than likely went through some of the same problems
that I was experiencing really helped out a lot. And, honestly, my only message for today is...if you need help,
don't be afraid to seek it. Talking to
people about your problems is not weird.
It is not annoying. It's what
humans do. Help should NOT be a bad four-letter word.

Just don't ask someone who doesn't know a thing
about computers to help you put one together.
That would be detrimental.