Australian Rugby has been laid low by scandal after a horrific "atrocity" committed by one its players. Specifically, 25-year-old Nate Myles, who—drunk, naked and locked out of his room—took a giant dump in a hotel hallway. The horror.

It was an honest mistake! Myles was desperately searching for the bathroom in his darkened hotel suite when he accidentally opened the door to the hallway, stepped outside and it locked behind him. When the inconsiderate family next door refused to let the crazy naked man into their bathroom, his remaining options were quite limited. So he did what any of us would have done: He unloaded his business on the carpet and then hid a on fire escape until morning.

It's not Myles' first incident either. He lost his diver's license two years ago after a DUI and had a "zero tolerance" clause placed in his contract. Just one alcohol related incident and he would be done with rugby forever. Fortunately, by the time he signed his new contract, he had proven to the team that he had cleaned up his act and could be a responsible upright citizen, so the clause was removed. That was three weeks ago.

And somehow this is all very shocking and disturbing to Australians. The entire nationleague is made up of drunken miscreants—I saw that Baz Lurhmann movie!—but apparently pooping in hallways is where they draw the line.