Not necessarily. I found out that the first reaction after the grief and loss is a really wonderful feeling of “we did it!” And a willingness to give the institution another try because of that success. Of course, I was fortunate that my marriage lasted 13 years (the first failed after 11), and the next person in line was already there.

the Otherlove, james, died december 18, 2004. two years and a week later, fallcon died on december 25th, 2006. granted, i was married at the time (we were polyamorous, the ex knew all about both james and fallcon…hell, it would have been hard to hide it since they both LIVED with us during the time right before they died!) and that slightly helped, but here it’s been seven years since fal died and it STILL rips at my heart.