>From ERVINJ@steffi.uncg.edu Tue May 10 10:17:21 1994
If I am heterosexual,
I can express physical affection for the person I love in public and be
generally assured of smiles and well-wishing.
I can talk to almost anyone about the major life changes of my life - such as
birth, death, falling in love, marriage, divorce, loss - and be generally
assured of support, understanding, empathy, and well-wishing.
I can be generally assured that my family and friends will continue to love me
no matter whom I choose as a spouse, or what I do with my life.
I do not have to tell anybody that I am heterosexual; they will assume it.
I do not have to hold back part of myself until I have ascertained if the new
person is safe to tell about my sexual orientation.
I do not have to worry about how my children will be treated in school or in
the neighborhood because of who I love and/or live with.
I can announce myself as a "newly wed" and receive congratulatory accolades as
well as special goodies (e.g., champagne at the hotel on my honeymoon) and
participate in activities specifically created to celebrate this fact (e.g.,
special dances at the nightclub for all the newlyweds in the audience that
night).
I can announce to the world my union with the one I love, publishing it in the
paper, even parading in a line of honking cars down the street, and be
generally assured of being greeted with smiles and well wishes.
I can shop for and find mementoes of my union in most any store anywhere
(anniversary cards, gifts, etc.).
If I am married with children, I can take advantage of family discounts at
businesses and for insurance.
If I am married with children, I can take Married deduction status with extra
dependents for my taxes.
If I am married, I can indicate this on application forms.
I can be assured of being able to be with my spouse in the hospital.
I can grieve openly if I lose the person I love.
I can get leave from work to be with my spouse if they are seriously ill, or to
deal with funeral arrangements if they die.
I can travel to other countries and can talk about my life openly and fully.
I can travel with my spouse, announce them as my spouse, be physically
affectionate with my spouse just about anywhere I go.
I can express physical affection withovt fear that I will be jailed or beaten
for doing so.
I can come out in support of homosexual rights, and can do so from the safe
position of not being homosexual.
If I come out in support of homosexual rights, I won't be told I keep harping
on one issue, always bringing it up, always looking for problems.
I can be sure courses and texts will deal with my life and my history and the
history of other people like me.
I can be sure that if I do something outlandish, it will be chalked up to a
personal eccentricity and not taken as a characteristic of all heterosexual
people.
I will not be presumed to speak for what all heterosexual people are like.
I will not feel that the outlandish behavior of another heterosexual person
might jeopardize the image people have of all heterosexual people.
I will not be treated as a token.
I can assume everyone else is the same as myself until proven otherwise.
I can explore the characteristics usually culturally ascribed to the other sex
in myself, without being told either that I hate my own sex, or that I hate the
other sex, or that I am trying to be the other sex.
Additional thought re: privilege
It is much easier to fight as the visibly oppressed than to find the invisible
dominance in one's self.
By Judie Messier. San Francisco, 1990.
Suggested by Working Paper 0189 "White Privilege and Male Privilege: A Personal
Account of Coming to See Correspondences Through Work in Women's Studies."
Peggy McIntosh. Wellesley College: Center for Research on Women. 1988.