Ticketmaster, THAT shitty friend. They were a mainstay of my youth in a small western New York town, going with as an uninvited friend to every show. Our only non-local show options still 1 hour+ drive away, usually at the same amusement park. Ticketmaster, hashing the vibes with their fines of fun. Sure, you can see your band but there’s an extra fee for listening, one for dancing , perhaps another for singing. Ticketmaster is your friend who knows all the right people & places and that all comes at a cost. I owe Ticketmaster some of my best times. In my infancy of a music fan, I knew I wanted them to have my money but I was suspicious at what I was really buying.

I have since moved where the options have opened and interacting with Ticketmaster is few and far between. Not because I don’t go to shows but instead I go to many shows but in a place with numerous venue/ ticket agent options.

If perhaps you lived under a rock or really didn’t care at all in 2013 Ticketmaster settled a case.

«Read below for some details»

In 2003, the Schlesinger v. Ticketmaster class action lawsuit was filed, alleging that Ticketmaster failed to fully disclose to consumers all aspects of its UPS and order processing fees. While vigorously defending the lawsuit, Ticketmaster settled the case in 2013, with the court granting final approval of the settlement in February 2015.

The settlement class generally includes all consumers who purchased tickets on Ticketmaster.com between October 21, 1999, and February 27, 2013 (the “class period”).

As part of the Schlesinger v. Ticketmaster settlement, Ticketmaster agreed to provide:

To each class member, one discount code (worth $2.25 off a future purchase of primary tickets) for every purchase made on Ticketmaster.com during the class period, up to 17 discount codes per person.

To class members who used UPS delivery during the class period, one $5 UPS discount code for every purchase made on Ticketmaster.com that included UPS delivery, again up to 17 UPS discount codes per person.

To each class member, one ticket voucher (potentially redeemable for two eligible general admission tickets for select events at Live Nation owned or operated venues, subject to availability and limitations) for every purchase on Ticketmaster.com during the class period, up to 17 vouchers per person. The Settlement Agreement limits the value of vouchers that are to be redeemed in a given year. Please be aware that due to high demand and limited availability, we expect these tickets to be redeemed quickly.

Redeem Discount Codes on Ticketmaster.com. Ticket voucher redemption is complete for 2017. Any unused vouchers will remain in your account. If you would like to sign up to receive periodic notifications by email when new eligible events are made available, please visit here.

But basically, we actually have to do stuff because we did questionable stuff with your money before. So If we might have done some shady shit, here’s some free shit. Sorry about that, but we’re only partially acknowledging it.

Free shit sounds way nicer than it really is.

This free shit isn’t exactly easy to redeem.

We all have until June 2020 but there is no guarantee you will ever jump through all the hoops, at the right time.

First, you log into your account. Hopefully remembering IF you had one

Check into your active vouchers. So there they are. I’ll just use them…

Oh

I last checked on 11/8/17 and they are all used up from this year

This is where I’ll just have to speculate because I have not been able to find the right time to actually redeem them. The last time I checked all the ones that were previously opened for vouchers. which my guess only lasts a few moments after released. All guesses mind you

There’s a list of instructions on how to redeem the codes. Oh hell

It does seem very interesting to offer this all as a settlement when they all seemed to be all used before I can get my grubby, little hands on them. Does that mean their settlement is an empty offer? Can their entire settlement really be paid off if it’s always already used? Is it even possible for all the vouchers to be used by 2020?

I’m completely intrigued and curious as to when I will be able to pass all the tests that Ticketmaster has laid before to see if I am truly worthy of these vouchers. I will press on and update as I can. If I don’t make it through the trials and that pesky Southern Oracle gets me, please try to redeem in my absence.

We do. We all hate your backpack.

We all want you to know that it’s a concert, not camping. Are you headed to a full day of classes right after the show? A sleepover perhaps?

What bonds people just as well as love, perhaps better? Hate. Shared hatred. Trés cozy.

I’m not talking that hate that inspires over-privileged selfish cowards to carry about tiki torches. I’m all for loving everyone first and then picking out individuals to hate based on their selfish behavior. Have you ever been at a show and your hatred of some rude fuck molesting you with his backpack & torturing all that they touch completely bonds all around the offender? You all find peace and bond over the fact that yes, said person is ruining everyone’s experience with their complete disregard of every other human being. Yes. We are at a rock show, but that does not mean we all have to be assholes. If you have a medical need to do so, please do, otherwise it’s completely silly. My mom always taught me manners will always take you further in life.

Who is this person that insists on bringing a backpack to every show?. The largest purse to a tiny venue? Are you that person that insists that piece of luggage the size of a small child needs to be with you in the front row?Are these people on their way to O’ Hare? And of course, they need to be right next to the stage with their small child strapped to them apathetically slamming into all around them. They turn to yell to their friends about that other friend who will be right there. I already know they also have a backpack and they are going to be standing directly on me in 5 minutes. Can’t wait. Cue, full turn around and (again) smashing me with the backpack, waving like a moron about 6 inches from my face to another moron to come stand upon me. Why yes, of course, he’s extra drunk and smelly, why wouldn’t he be? Good thing they can’t feel it all because they’ve brought a backpack large enough to hold a goddamn tent. I plot about the opening of the bag and all the belongings just tumbling…

To the backpackers:

I hate your backpack and now I hate you.

Everybody hates you and your backpack

I will bitch LOUDLY about you to you and roll my eyes with our shared sufferers of your existence.

I plot about opening that bag and all their… seriously wtf is in there? I do hope it’s precious. The bag empties it’s guts all over the floor and we the surrounding afflicted, mosh it all into oblivion. I dream of this moment. I swear it’s gonna happen one day. I’m gonna hit that right day and …yeah

AND SERIOUSLY WTF IS IN THERE?

Hell, this isn’t the 90’s, you have a phone which usually contains EVERYTHING. Keys you are allowed to have keys, wallet, and a phone. Fine, it’s a day-long festival but seriously how much shit do you want to carry around with you, ALL DAY? Do you think that bringing a huge backpack is going to enable you to hide all your illegal fun stuff? Good luck on that. I watched at Riot Fest as one guy shut down one of the lines for about 10 minutes while they insisted on ripping apart the very large, very packed bag and splaying its contents. If you bring a backpack you should make the decision that bringing all your worldly possessions with you should be left back where there’s room for that kind of lameness. Get to the back of the crowd where you belong. The pit is reserved for those who know how to exist without all of our belongings strapped to us.

Another festival season is damn near over. Color me crushed. And exhausted.Summer’s end always makes me sad but as much as I hate to admit it, hopeful. Don’t tell anyone I have a reputation to maintain. By the end of summer, I’m fucking tired. I need Fall and as much as I even further hate to admit- Winter. I need a goddamn break after all the lakeside bike rides, the sweaty street festivals, and the weekend-long treks back and forth to a festival. I need an excuse to lay in sweatpants and watch Netflix. It seems like an odd time to start a series about festivals and concerts perhaps. Sure, the concerts still rage on in the winter. Winter shows just have a different flavor. The wardrobe, footwear, and venues change but the music still goes on despite the notorious Chicago Winter. The cold weather brings a time of forced reflection. A time to reflect and not be distracted by the warm day and the sunny breeze. A time to reflect on all that I love about a good show, what I adore about squeezing through a crowd to stand with a bunch of strangers just so I can be that much closer to the band. Yes, I also will bitch about what I hate and life rules I just wish people would abide by. My rules. If people would just follow my rules but like in a no-rule loving way that just simply included some damn common decency as I see fit. Perhaps this entry will be the first in a series about me bitching about what I wish people knew at shows, perhaps some helpful advice. I’m not quite sure where this will all go honestly. Let me pretend to be wise and all knowing and use my concert knowledge for good not evil. Ok, some evil but good evil, fun evil.

Full disclosure: Here I am bitching about winter and festival season being over. I am heading out to Riot Festival this weekend to put a nice little finish to all my summer shows. I refuse to admit summers over until after Riot Fest.

Happy National Moon Day!For as long as I can remember I’ve had a love affair with space. More specifically, the moon.But really, how can you not?This giant beautiful glowing orb that appears nightly, constantly changing, just hanging in the sky. If you need a daily dose of celestial beauty I completely suggest NASA’s picture of the day through IFTTT. It shares daily on my Facebook. Just appears, like magic.It’s the perfect daily reminder that we are just a speck in a world of apparent magic, explained by science. I love the little notifications I get throughout the day of people agreeing that science is fucking cool. I will still continue to take #shittypicturesofthemoonIt's all in the name of science.