Monday, March 29

in fact i'm nothing close being a romantic.even being in a relationship i sometimes feel like i'm a guy.i dun do much.so often that i put my partner into the whole turmoil of "she doesnt love me anymore" after just a few months.

O.oi'm one of those people who reckons that, if you're committed to a serious relationship.it's more about the stability and something more grounded.isnt it more about having someone who you know you can always count on?

but then again, i'm boring.=.=

"the silliest thing is i can think of a billion ways to be romantic. i have a pretty good idea of what romantic is. very often i find myself just thinking, if i slipped him a chapter of a book i really liked, maybe he'd go and read it and make that happen. or if he overheard someone on the street saying something i always say, he'd think of me and smile, and send me a text telling me what just happened. or if he rummages through his room one day, and finds something i gave to him a long time ago, and decides to wear it out and tell the next person who compliments "Yeah she got it for me." or maybe one night after hanging out with the boys with some booze and all, he gets home, stares at his room, and suddenly wishes he could talk to me. and he'd call me in the middle of the night, well aware that i'd be sleeping, but he'd want to hear my voice anyhow.- karen

when i read that paragraph in her blog, it kinda stunned me for a brief moment.i know someone that did exactly what she just said.i dated that someone for 3 years.

ultimately i wore him out by being a stone cold brick wall.it's odd.if i told you the stuff he did, i'm sure 10/10 of the gurls will melt and go "awwwwwww"

but i rmb-ed labeling him as "cheesy".GAWD! i'm such a b*tch. or maybe i shud say a "i'm such a butch"O.o

how you'd suddenly hold me really tight from the back when i wash the dishes.

how you scribble my name all over the meeting sheets.

how u'd always buy me small small stuff from everywhere simply because the color/shape/the thing reminds u of me.

how anything u find u'll snap a picture n share it with me.

how u'd call randomly and tell me u heard this person say this particular phrase that made u think of me.

or a song on the radio u heard me humm the other day.

how u piggy backed me thru the fields after a rain when u brought me to see the stars at night.

how u remember every single thing i love to eat or crave.

random midnight calls after a long night with the boys, telling everything that happened and who said what eventho i was well asleep simply because u missed me. the most amazing thing would be how u observe & notice what i do or look at automatically.

Saturday, March 20

it felt that I've been detached and missing for so long.i felt so too.

it seems at time we get to absorb in what we're doing we lost touch of whats goin on around us.or whats more important for that matter.

dun get me wrong, work has still been good.i whine occasionally, but i can still say i love what i do thus far.there's a lot more to learn, and i reckon it'll only be better.down side?yea... i spent a few more late nights in the office.*slave drivers!!* ppl around me would say.the thing is, thing could have been a whole lot more worst and yet ppl just sum times dun realize it!I meet more people (not sure if i can interact well with all tho :S) but i'm tryingi try to do more stuffi'm learning, and to me. it matters.not how other people perceive my job to be. but how i perceive my own life.:)

---------------------------------------------but being pretty overwhelmed with work.it's getting harder n harder to spend time doing other stuff.hence LIFE gets so freaking tiring sumtimes...:(

Hiking up Broga Hill Semenyih!*out of your mind!/bonkers!* people would say.seeing that i'm already tired n so worn out LOLz.the plan went great.the hike up was challenging and rather upsetting actually.cause i was so out of shape, sleep deprived (no sleep at all) and probably not getting enough oxygen. ahahahhaha

Broga was suppose to be the "moderate climb" yet it took so long (and so many stops) for me to finish the 1st peak. The peaks after that was easier... did not manage up the 4th one tho.I SWEAR I'M SO GONNA FINISH ALL 4 PEAKS AND WATCH THE BLARDY SUNRISE 1 FINE DAY!!

i went up with a bunch of sampat old school mates. funny we werent initially very close.but heck, its a fun mix. :)guess its never too late to ber-bonding.

the view was awesome.even with the cloudy skies and NO SUNRISE. but it was still quite awesome.me, mandy, seow yen, mei yen, poh leong, chin pey, ting yi, peiling, sue ee, OH we even has sue ee's monash friends! :)familyspending somemore time with the kids and family.brought nephew n niece to swimming sessions at bro's hse during the weekends.its amazing how time flies.ethan is already 3, elyssa is 2. gosh!

*inside joke: uncle at the pool thought they were MY kids. O.oELLO! i look so old meh???shit~~~ my sis was laughing the whole way back.=.=

She's such a tiny bundle of joy!so kecik n fragile i dun even dare to be too rough on her LOLz.

adorable kan?looks like my fb & photos are soon gonna be filled with pictures on ethan, elyssa & evaine!berlambak.right now, sis is rotting at mom with nothing else to do but blackberry the whole wide world.*evil laugh*

as we went from months n months.its amazing how we have grown n changed.i still have some of our earliest photos. O.oremind me to keep them locked up in a hidden secured SAFE!ahahahah

from buddhist camps, to girls guides... to messing with them scouts & KRS people.softball. :(from marching and (ponteng-ing) classes.from climbing trees and running amok on padangs.from fights and arguments.from boys and high school drama

gosh.

how far we have came.

it amazing how all of these cant stop but remind me how tiny weenie i am.i feel so overwhelmed and humbled at the "MUCH-ness/BESAR-ness" of everything else.:p

Wednesday, March 17

#1. When you live in past memories more than the present.#2. When the relationship brings you more pain than joy.#3. When he/she expects you to change.#4. When you stay on, expecting he/she will change.#5. When you keep justifying his/her actions to yourself.#6. When he/she is causing you emotional/physical/verbal hurt.#7. When the same situation/issue recurs even though you tried addressing it.#8. When he/she puts little to no effort in the relationship.#9. When your fundamental values and beliefs are different.#10. When the relationship is preventing either of you from growing as individuals.#11.When you stay on, expecting things to get better.#12. When either of you no longer feels the same way about each other.

Sunday, March 7

太浓了吧否则怎会苦的说不出话 is it too thick? so bitter until u can't say a word.每次都一个人在自问自答 every time i'd keep asking myself,我们的爱到底还在吗 is there still love, the one we had between us?

已经淡了吧多放些糖也很难有变化 is it too thin? even after adding sugar, there seem to be no difference?不如喝完这杯就各自回家

maybe we shud just finish this cup and go home, u go ur way and i'll go mine.别坐在对面欣赏我的挣扎 dun just sit there watching me struggle.

一场失败的爱情像个笑话 when love has failed, it feels like a joke.热得时候心乱如麻 when its hot, theres so many emotions going thru our hearts.冷了以后看见自己够傻 when its cooled down, u'd realized what a fool we've been all this while.人怎么会如此容易无法自拔 how can it be so hard to self control and let go?

一场无味的爱情像个谎话 when love has become dry, it feels like a lie.甜的时候只相信它 when its sweet, you'd believe everything it says.苦了以后每一句都可怕 when its bitter, every single sentence seems so scary.人怎么会如此难以了无牵挂

i'm truly honestly believe, a couple should be 2 person being together; NOT that being a couple means everything has to be done together, we're just together; not physically glued together.

and i hate it whenever a person has become "Filix's girlfren" or "John's gal" or "Mandy's Guy".

ahahahha. Why?

when separate individuals become 1 single item? how is that so?

technically to me, it feels as tho, u've lost yourself. You've stopped being YOU.

you'd be ur boyfriend accessory, and he has become smthg like ur handbag!

buthen again, maybe i am just a very bitter single person.

(i dun tink so) but maybe...

maybe i'm jus jealous that everyone has a boyfren and i dont.

haha, that wat Mich told me the other that when i commented on this couple OOGLING over each other at the mall.

teehee... being loving, showing affection i'd understand. Heck, I'd even understand kissing in public just a display of affection. BUT... BUT that couple were practically grabbing each other in the mall! someone please re-affirm me that i'm not insane to think that they are being a LITTLE bit toooooo open regarding their display of affection.