Not Enough Time

These last couple of days I have been, well (I’ll just be honest and say it like it is) drowning in the abyss of motherhood. There’s just not enough time to finish one thing before something else comes up. My house is a wreck, both of my legs have not been fully shaved at the same time as the other since Ezra has been born (a month ago), Ez got a rash from what seems to be the detergent I used and so I have had to redo all of my laundry from scratch using extra rinse cycles (his skin is getting much better), and my toddler has a cold so sleep has become sparse under this roof. Last night I slept on the couch so I wouldn’t disturb daddy every time I had to get up and help Jonah or feed Ezra, and the night before I came out to feed Ezra only to find Jonah sleeping in my spot when I came back. Of course, he being sick (and cranky), I didn’t want to wake him, so I slept with my head at the other end of the bed kinda curled up in a pathetic little corner. On the other hand, Ezra has been a wonderful baby now that he finally pooped (we had a good 5 days of misery I never mentioned here before). How do they (or you) do it??? I mean, how does one maintain a clean home, get meals on a table, juggle two kids and their individual needs and wants, go on no sleep, and still have time for personal goals like, I don’t know, shaving your legs maybe? Time. Time is what I need more of. I love motherhood. I love it and I’m not complaining, just a little bewildered. I would just like a little more time to do everything… is that so much to ask?

Speaking of time flying. Looking back at photographs and watching video clips from even 3 months ago is blowing my mind. Kids sure put life into perspective for you. I became ultra aware of how quickly my baby boy was growing up while in Cleveland and we would go to the park. The little girl at the park with Jonah is Kelsey’s 17 month old. Kelsey was following her around and helping her up the ladders, down the slides, and standing where she could catch her if needs be… I remember that time so clearly. I remember when going up and down the stairs with J was a scary thing to me. Even when he had figured it out and I no longer had to hold his hand to take the stairs I would still be hovering near by to help or catch him if he were to lose his balance or get distracted. Now, even though I still hover when he climbs tall areas without rails, I can basically let him run and climb free and independently. Kinda breaks my heart actually… Yes, every phase comes with it’s own pros and con, and I just want to enjoy each one no matter what, as much as I can, because it will be gone sooner than I know and there’s not enough time in life to let the sweet moments pass you by.