BLAH

MATA WRESTLEÃO

This used to be called Megadeth, but now it's not. Actually, it has been
called many things throughout my illustrious career as an internet
wrestling journalist, but that's a story for another time, my friends.

Today's top story: Vince McMahon's butt not a favorite amongst internet
fans. In this shocking development, it seems as though The Vince McMahon
Kiss My Ass Club has angered a number of fans, and will, reportedly,
alienate the viewers of the World Wrestling Federation until they quit
watching.

Fantasy NBA: I am still in first, but now tied with Steve Schroeder's
dangerous Bugeyed Devil
Zebras. Feely
defeated me in last week's contest due to abnormally poor performances
from SHAQ~~~, who also got ejected last night. Hey fuck you, Shaq.

I did not like the Undertaker turn on Monday. It seemed like they didn't
have many good ideas so they used JR. Or, as some might say, they
"raped" JR. But some are idiots.

At any rate, I think the turn sucks and will accomplish enough to get
Undertaker's remaining career a ride down to the corner of Jack St. and
Shit Blvd. I just don't think anyone is terribly interested in booing an
old guy that can't work.

What they do with him from here is another problem all in itself, because
I think that it was proven that Undertaker in the main event won't draw
with Judgment Day (tied for the WWF's worst buyrate of the year, and
lowest since May 1998 -- thanks to Justin's Tuesday Update for giving me
facts), and I don't see how (probably) reversing heel/face roles with
Undertaker and Austin would make anyone more interested.

Let's not even get started on how very little I care to see Undertaker
v. Rock or Undertaker v. Kane again, unless it's to make Kane a huge star,
which wouldn't happen because Undertaker is a middling marquee name now,
at best, and beating him just doesn't mean what it used to.

Man, what the hell am I talking about?

I think the WWF will continue to kick its own ass if things aren't
resolved. This isn't 1998, and they can't re-run the same stupid McMahon
v. Austin angle that I've seen six billion times before. Adding Ric Flair
means nothing, because we're going to run into the same bunch of crap as
before, where Flair backs Austin only to shockingly turn on him. Mean whoo
by god Gene, the swerve, whoo elbowdrop. Who cares?

To me, they're doing way too much wrong now for me to hold out any real
hope. The Rock and Steve Austin are by far their two biggest stars, with,
I believe, Kurt Angle a distant, distant third. Chris Jericho is, somewhat
sadly, fourth. Not sad because of who it is, but because of what he is,
which is "not taken terribly seriously, no matter what he does." But
that's where The Rock would come into that, I suppose.

Of course, all this could get blown right out of the water when Triple H
returns, because I, for one, have no idea what they'll plan to do with
him. The logic says bring him back babyface, but to fight whom
now? Undertaker? Jericho?

Austin's babyface turn is all well and good as far as his beer-drinking
goes, but I want some kind of real, traditional resolution to his conflict
with The Rock. I don't want babyface-babyface, and after they're done, it
wouldn't hurt to give me some heel Austin-face HHH stuff.

Part of Austin's problem drawing as a heel was that there was absolutely
nothing going right around him. The invasion angle was fumbled terribly,
Rock was gone, Undertaker was burnt out, Jericho wasn't used in a manner
in which he could pose a real threat, HHH and Benoit both got injured --
the only moment of hope at all seemed to be Kurt Angle's brief face turn,
which went nowhere and may as well have never happened at this point.

We're at the end of a tremendously disappointing year for the WWF. "It's a
cyclical business," sure, that's dandy. It's El Dandy. But I don't care,
business cycles don't mean the quality of the show has to plummet, or that
the company seemingly can't do anything right at all.

Part of it was injury and bad timing, part of it was terrible
booking/writing, and another part was just that a lot of stuff was
lacking.

Some things they could do in the meantime would be to give Angle and
Jericho a real purpose to exist, other than them just being dicks with
lousy attitudes. Perhaps do something with Kane, who is running out of
time to be a potential drawing power. Bring RVD along slowly, get HHH,
and, eventually, Benoit back in the ring to liven things up, and don't
screw up the Ric Flair signing, for god's sake.

Making the undercard more important would help. I think they're on their
way to that. And, I'll tell you, for the first time ever, I finally see
what all the hub-bub about Edge was about way back when. I think he'll be
huge by mid-2003.

Oh, and do me a personal favor and don't split off into "two
promotions." I don't necessarily feel like going into it, but I think that
is a horrendous idea. Fish or cut bait, baby, and it's time to cut some
crappy OVW-level bait. Apologies to Lash Leroux and Val Venis. And Steven
Richards and Tommy Dreamer and about 40 other guys that are never going to
do anything, and may as well just be salary dumps.

If someone were to sign the more talented ones (Venis? D'Lo?) and start a
new company, maybe that would serve to make the WWF better. I certainly
don't think any new company is going to hurt anyone, including the WWF.