Friday, October 30, 2009

Washington, D.C.--Responding to concerns that the private companies that own the infrastructure over which internet communications are transmitted might some day set up a tiered system that gives some content providers an advantage over others, the federal agency charged with regulating electronic communications put a handful of Obama nominating convention delegates in charge of enforcing “net neutrality.”

When asked why Americans should trust the judgment of a few government officials over that of private companies driven to satisfy their customers by the forces of economic competition, one net neutrality official pointed to what he called his “extremely spirited hat,” complete with Obama campaign buttons and a protruding stuffed donkey.

"We'll maintain a strictly neutral stance on internet access," he said, "guided only by the needs of our ideological and financial political base."