dear dear dear....I dont know what to say, Im so confused on how to feeel...I miss the feeling of being happy. I miss the assurance of being loved. There isnt a soul out there that loves me for who I am. They all love me because I'm family. Or because theyve known me since preeschool, or because they feel sorry for me. You know what? Im not gonna put up with it anymore. This is the LAST entry with complaining in it. I will have a happy life even if I have to act my way through it. You know that song, Whenever I feel afraid, I hold my head erect. And whistle a happy tune, so no one will suspect im afraid, the result of this conseption is strange to tell the least, for when I fool the people I fear, I fool myself as well....that explains everything. SO I spose I better get it all out now. I have been having the best spring break, I shouldnt feel sad or mad or anything....so why do I? because Im always complaining about something. Thats gonna stop, even if I have to hold it in. You know why? people will like me better if Im more of a happy person. Not always happy. Just never sad.Or mad..... mad is bad because it makes people feel awful! How can I do that though? Its easy when im with people. EASY! just not here online. and I talk to alot of people online. I just dont know, more of how I really feel comes out online.