Kevin Spacey Grabbed A Guy’s Dick

4 months ago

This week Kevin Spacey told us he was gay after Anthony Rapp accused him of pedophilia. That went over well. Fist time I’ve seen the victim card being played against an actual victim. The intersectionality paradox. Turns out, Kevin Spacey just likes to grab dicks and dry hump any dude who is around if he’s drunk. Like Tony Montana (not that one) in a Los Angeles bar in 2003.

“I went up to order a drink and Kevin came up to me and put his arm around me,” Montana told Radar. “He was telling me to come with him, to leave the bar. He put his hand on my crotch forcefully and grabbed my whole package.” Montana claimed a seemingly intoxicated Spacey, 58, then said to him, “This designates ownership.” “I put my hand down and turned his thumb back to get his hand off it,” Montana said. “I paid for my drink and got away from him.”

But wait! There’s more.

But the alleged incident didn’t end there, as Spacey then followed him to the restroom. “I backed him out the door and I pushed him,” he said. “One of his friends was in line and I said, ‘It’s time to take your boy home. ‘They all ended up leaving.’”

As straight dude who lived in Miami for a while, let me tell you, gay dudes are some aggressive motherfuckers. Look, dude. I just came to this gay club to bang the chicks who thought they could turn you and now they’re sad and horny at 4am. That doesn’t mean you could grab my dick even if I’m wearing this fab romper.