i love you more

“i love you.” well…. i wish those words were really , really important. some people throw them left and right. you know who you are.

if i’m going to advise someone (by someone i mean you!) to say them , then i must tell you to say it like you mean it. i mean really mean it. don’t throw them out there just because you feel something in your pants at the moment. don’t say them because you found something he/she said adorable at the moment. say the words when your really know the being. the being that cries and bitches, the being that scratches himself in places you’d rather not see…
say the words with conviction and true sincerity from your gut. whoa! too much!?!

but what if some one says it you or to me with this great admiration and truth… they say I love you. I’m in love with you. I’m falling in love with you. …that phrase: “i love you” is said to you but you can’t say it back? what if…?

what if you feel the same way or you think you feel the same way yet you need to sort and make sense of these feelings. maybe you’re confused because although you’ve known each other for a few years , you’ve only seen each other for a half a handful of times…?

I mean, how do you respond ? how do you respond without sounding rude ?
so …. do you say : “oh, that’s so nice. thank you.”

or pretend you didn’t hear it: “hmmm… d’you say something?”

or disregard it all together and: “oh my god! i think i hear my car alarm…be right back.”

or do you tell them they’re not ready to love: “me? you love ME? nonsense… you hardly know me. and don’t feel pressured into saying this to me. really, you don’t have to, you know?”

or do you get so nervous because you want it to be true because you feel the same way because you want to say it back because you’re so excited that this can really be damn wonderful and you want to say it back but instead you mess it up because you are a bit clumsy: “did you just say something about love? you make me smile.”(and you wonder if he/she regrets saying it.)