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My life

Lurching from one disaster to another...just a suburban princess trying to get by!

Friday, 11 May 2012

Tits, Tatts and my new life

This year I have had my life turned upside down, quite literally. I am no longer a home owner, a business owner or have a little boy.

Now don't panic at the last statement, it's all for the better.

We sold our house. If you have ever owned a Colonial Queenslander you will know that whilst they are beautiful, they are a bastard to maintain and basically a money pit, sapping your time, money and all your energy. I had loved my house, no doubt about it, but it was time to move on, a lot of bad shit happened in our lives while we lived there.

We now live in a lovely townhouse, in a beautiful quiet part of town, with no maintenance, not even gardening, an en-suite, WIR and all for 2/3 the price of our mortgage! Loving it...and the stairs are doing wonders for my legs and arse but my knees do seem to crack and creak rather alarmingly, but as my doctor revels in telling me, I'm not getting any younger!

I finally accepted that my business was not doing me any good, it's demands had overtaken my whole life and quite frankly I just didn't have the strength left to keep it going. So it's sold, gone, kaput.

My little boy has turned 18, a shocking event that seemed to come from no-where. One minute you are up to your eyeballs in shitty nappies and night feeds, the next they are working, out on the piss with their mates or sleeping. We have just been informed that he intends to move out as soon as he can, and whilst I am sad I also have the packing boxes ready...

Since Christmas I have lost almost 20kg. Great I hear you say, I wouldn't recommend my method (illness) but I am happy with the results...still a long way to go though.

Of late, and by "late" I mean the last 20 years or so, I have barely bothered with make-up, blow dried my hair about twice a year and was often to be seen out and about in baggy old trackies and sandshoes. But no more. In a case of fake it until you make it, I have started wearing make up, doing my hair and wearing better clothes, which makes me feel better, which in turn gives me confidence and a boost to me almost non-existent self-esteem. It is habit forming, in a good way. Now I don't spend hours batting my eye-lashes at myself in the mirror but am starting to give a shit about how I feel about me. I have spent years worrying what others thought of me, deciding that it wasn't much, so I just didn't bother. I am not doing it for anyone but me (and maybe hubby, he appreciates that changes but loved me for who I has before) and I'm enjoying it.

I have decided to reward myself for every 5 kg lost. The first 5 was with a navel piercing, the second a teeny, tiny piercing in the top of my ear and the third...

...those of you who follow me on twitter will know that I got a tattoo this week. My first.

I have always wanted one but was too concerned with what people would think of me to go ahead, but no more! (sorry Mum) I now have a lovely butterfly tattooed on the inside of my wrist. It gives me hope and strength and represents the positive changes I am making in my life.

Now you may ask, did it hurt? Hell yes, it hurt. But only when the needle was in my skin, and it was a good pain, a cathartic experience washing away a lot of old baggage. The most painful part of the whole experience though was the crap music playing loudly in the background, dunno what it was but is it too much to ask for a little Adele? I think not! Made me feel so, so old.

I am now very close to the 4th target now and am going to get some pampering from the girls at Ella Bache...

So in a nutshell, a big one I'll agree, that's where I'm at. Taking some time out, getting well and working out where life will take me next.

2 comments:

Well you should love you! Yours was the only VoiceAU tweet that I laughed at and agreed with so I tracked you to here - "when is this crap over?" brilliant! Only read this so far but you should be proud - you certainly don't sound like you should, or do, lack self confidence! I think I might be a follower! :)