If you're a woman interested in trying something new with her man, this guide will enlighten you on some proper donk-iquette. If you're a guy afraid to be labeled as gay for doing anything even close to your ass, stop being a little bitch. Jerk off while you're poking around your prostate, and then, get back to me.

If you're a woman interested in trying something new with her man, this guide will enlighten you on some proper donk-iquette. If you're a guy afraid to be labeled as gay for doing anything even close to your ass, stop being a little bitch. Jerk off while you're poking around your prostate, and then, get back to me.

I'm here, along with expert Dr. Kat Van Kirk, to ease you into the world of butts and all the glorious things that can come with a little anal action.

Have very good hygiene.

Because I'm a gay man, butt play is like second nature to me. Since I'm lacking in the vagina department, penetrative options are only available if one person decides to bend over.

That's not to say I don't understand why most men and women are nervous when it comes to anything having to do with butts in relation to sex. It seems one of the dirtiest fears definitely has to do with a cleanliness factor.

Amy Schumer's song "Milk Milk Lemonade" got right to the bottom (get it?) of things, with blunt lyrics like "'round the back where fudge is made" and "this is where my poo comes out."

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But if you just accept the fact that playing with your ass doesn't mean you're going to get shit on, we can collectively move on to a more pleasurable experience.

And whatever you do, don't go and throw your dick inside other holes if it was just in or around someone's anus, as it "can introduce pathogens," according to Dr. Van Kirk, and is just downright unsanitary.

Lube up, and talk it through.

Honesty is key in this scenario.

Instead of shouting in uncomfortable spurts, speak up to your partner about what's working for you and what feels like you're being jabbed with a baseball bat.

"Putting your lubed fingers around the rim and tickling the perineum can help you either of you gauge interest," says Dr. Van Kirk.

Put your lubed fingers around the rim and tickle the perineum to help you either of you gauge interest.

Also, speaking of lubed fingers, don't be stingy when it comes to applying lubricant on whatever is about to crash land in that butthole. The more, the better.

And by more, I mean completely doused. Saturated. Drown in that fucking lube.

"Rub or vibrate the outside first, graduating to inserting more of the toy or finger," Dr. Van Kirk says. Go ahead. Press, push, poke, go inside or take a peek.

Rub or vibrate the outside first, graduating to inserting more of the toy or finger.

"By the way, be sure your nails are clean clipped so as not to cause abrasions or infections," she adds.

Take things slow and steady.

Anything anal-related has a negative connotation for being immensely painful, but proper butt play should not hurt. This isn't old fashioned p in v action. Butt play requires a little bit more preparation, so go slow.

"This will help increase anticipation as well as show your partner that you respect him or her and are willing to slow things down to avoid any pain," says Dr. Van Kirk.

Show your partner that you respect him or her ... [by] slow[ing] things down to avoid any pain.

Work your way into it, maybe just by dabbling around the rim using a finger without penetration, and eventually graduate from that pointer of yours to something a little more vibrant.

Seeing your partner more relaxed is the green light for you to take things up a notch.

It may take a while, but all that build up will be worth it.

All in all, it's a great way to get off.

Going into butt play with the idea that it's going to be excruciating will ultimately make it excruciating. Have an open mind... and, well, an open asshole. "More tension equals more pain," says Dr. Van Kirk.

More tension equals more pain.

Consider me biased (because, you know, the whole homosexual thing), but butt play is not only pleasurable, it also gives me the opportunity to rid myself of insecurities.

It involves such a sensitive part of the body that exposing it to someone else really allows you to just let yourself go and experience pleasure from a POV that someone prone to having ol' generic orgasms wouldn't necessarily expect.