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In my last post, I asked what was so good about goodbye. The story behind that post was that an old friend is moving away from the area to live closer to his children and how much our community will miss him. I mentioned that I was lucky to have been given the chance to say goodbye, because sometimes that is not possible.

Shortly after that post was published, a dear friend wrote to say that she’d lost a relative quite suddenly. Saying goodbye was not really an option given the circumstances and that made his passing even more difficult.

My friend shared that her son was going to visit the family of the man who’d passed and when I offered to make a pie for the family, she accepted graciously. It was all I could do to help and I was grateful for the chance to assuage the pain that she is feeling.

Almost ready for the oven!

This is not to say that a pie will make much of a difference; but it is the love that was sent with the pie that might. After all, it is the very best thing that we have to offer one another on this journey called life. And it is the only thing that makes it worth living.

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” I Corinthians 13

“Life is short and we do not have too much time to gladden the hearts of those who travel with us; so be swift to love and make haste to be kind.” Henri-Frédéric Amiel

“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”
Mother Teresa

How did it get to be January 2, 2013 so quickly? It was a busy December for me with lots of catering (thank you everyone!) and then we were away for Christmas with both of our children… and then, BAM, Happy New Year! I don’t know about you, but even though it arrived fast, I am excited about the possibilities!

I’m not really into New Year’s resolutions but in the past few days several friends have shared interesting links and I thought I would share with you some of my favorites.

A TED talk of how one man named Jason Roberts began to change the world… and wants you to do it too!

Since I am still baking almost every day, yesterday I decided to bake a pie for someone to celebrate the New Year. As I thought of who might be a good recipient, I soon realized that many of my friends are on diets right now… and I didn’t want to be the reason someone fell off their diet. I continued to think about a recipient, and found one right in my neighborhood. One of our neighbors is an older man who lives alone… and that’s all I needed to know as I put together a quiche for him. When the quiche was ready, I walked over to his house with a friend and surprised him with a piping hot quiche. My neighbor beamed a smile at me and I was reminded of how good it feels to do something nice for someone… “just because.”

Pepper, Onion and Cheddar Quiche

Here is wishing you all a very happy, healthy, joy-filled New Year!

Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. Franklin P. Jones

Two weeks ago, I attended a Jennifer Knapp concert at Southern Oregon University. Ms. Knapp is a singer/songwriter who as a young woman made a name for herself in the Christian music scene, and my church (along with a few other churches and the Queer Resource Center) helped bring her to Ashland. And while her music is riveting, it was not the only reason for her visit. You see, Jennifer Knapp was adored as a Christian “rock star” until she came out as gay. Then things changed. The “Christians” that had loved her music before, now turned their backs on her. She was no longer considered one of them.

Ms. Knapp shared her spiritual journey with the audience. She explained how she tried to leave Christianity behind, but felt that the teachings aligned with her core beliefs… and came to the conclusion that even though she was “gay”, she was also a Christian.

After the concert, Jennifer took questions/comments from the audience. The one that moved me to tears went as follows. A woman in her forties shared that she had recently come out to her family, and that since that time her son has had nothing to do with her. She asked what she could do to and Jennifer said, “Love him. Whenever you see him, love him. You can’t change him… but you can love him.”

Jennifer sounds like a Christian to me, by golly. But wait, she’s gay? So the fact that she is loving, accepting, and forgiving doesn’t count then, right? Right.

A few days ago I saw on Facebook that it was the one year anniversary of this post, I am Christian, unless you’re gay. It’s a great article, and if you haven’t read it yet, I encourage you to do so. The author, Dan Pearce tells us about his friend “Jacob” who is gay… and he goes on to say that his article is not about homosexuality, instead – It’s about love. It’s about kindness. It’s about friendship.

Jacob had asked Dan to share with his audience (Dan writes the blog, single dad laughing) how it feels to be gay in a conservative Christian community. Here is a quote from that article, “You don’t know what it’s like to have your own parents hate you and try and cover up your existence. I didn’t choose this. I didn’t want this. And I’m so tired of people hating me for it. I can’t take it anymore. I just can’t.”

After reading the article, my heart ached for Jacob and the fact that he is virtually being shunned by the community in which he lives for being who he is – the person God made him to be. My head raced with questions: Who are we to tell another person how to live their life? What gives us the right to judge them? What part of that kind of this behavior is “being Christian?”

From all the stories that I have heard about Jesus, I just can’t imagine him turning his back on anyone. One story that many are familiar with (and one of my favorites) is the about the woman who is to be stoned to death for being an adulterer (according to ancient law). Jesus does not question the law, but instead says “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.”

It seems that we are still acting like those ancient people – wanting to find fault with others (and throw stones) because they are not like us – or they’re not acting like we think they should act. And when we are focused on others, we remain blissfully blind to our own shortcomings. But try to imagine what the world might be like if we tried to be more like the man from whom we have the word “Christian”? I think it’d be pretty amazing… don’t you?

Yesterday I brought a Chocolate Cream Pie to the Queer Resource Center at SOU to thank the people who helped to bring Jennifer Knapp to our area… and to recognize them for all they do to make the university a welcoming place to all students.

You may say that I’m a dreamer, But I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us, And the world will live as one. John Lennon

Last night I was at Paschal Winery where my friend Darte’s art work was being shown. There were other artists there as well and the event was well attended. I was able to talk with Darte for a little bit but she was being sought out by others and I found myself walking around the gallery on my own. As I was walking around, I found friends there that I did not expect to see. One such friend was a woman who I had met many years ago. We talked for a moment and then she asked, “So what have you been doing lately?” It was the perfect segue for me to talk about this project. I took a few minutes to explain what I’ve been doing for the last 6 weeks with pies, quiches, etc.

My friend then asked if I would consider requests for pies. “Of course” I said. For to me this project is not about the pie. It is about offering thanks … acknowledging effort… recognizing love. I do these things with food, because that is what comes natural to me. But what is most important is the feeling conveyed. I want people to know that they are valued, that they are important, that I am grateful for their efforts.

My friend suggested that I honor her son and his wife. For the past year, they have been through a very stressful period. I was glad to accommodate her request, and I took this opportunity to offer her son and his wife a small gift of a quiche. I want them to know that they are loved and that their tremendous efforts are recognized.

In Mexico, Mother’s Day has been celebrated on May 10th since 1922. In the US, Mother’s Day has been celebrated on the second Sunday in May since 1914. It is likely that many times over the years these two celebrations have occurred on the same day. What is most important is that both countries have established days to honor the mother’s of the nation.

Today I wanted to honor a woman who has been a friend and co-worker for many years. We come from different worlds but deep down we are the same: we love our children fiercely and would do anything for them. We don’t know how to behave any other way.

To my friend, I want you to know that I share your joys and your sorrows, for your journey is mine as well.

A hundred years from now… it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove… but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child. -Kathy Davis