Who’s your favorite rapper?

by Sophia

Walking out of dinner with clients this evening, I say my goodbyes and walk a block or so to grab a taxi. It’s 11 pm on a Friday night in downtown Chicago. Streets are filled with people who are walking out of restaurants headed for either home or a night cap. Or maybe even a hookup.

I’m long past my hookup days, so the object of my desire is a taxi and a warm bed. However, before I can get to either, a homeless person steps into my path and demands to know who my favorite rapper is.

Helloooo?! Take a good look. I’m a middle-aged white woman. At face value, odds are pretty high that you’ve got the wrong demographic. But then, again, my behavior and preferences have never been typical of my age group. So, I launch into my spiel.

Well, right now…I like Ricky Ross in Diddy Dirty Money. Nicki Minaj is okay, but I think it’s a tad weird that she changed her last name to Minaj because she is bisexual and Minaj is a homage to menage a trois. I like Sean Kingston in Bieber’s Eenie Meanie and who couldn’t possibly like Ludacris…Luda to you.

I think Kanye is talented but he’s a real asshat and Eminem has grown on me recent years. Of course, you can’t deny Jay-Z’s talent. I’m halfway through his book Decoded—the digital version—been reading it on my iPad. Quite interesting, don’t you think?!

Long about now the crazy homeless guy is looking at me like I’m the one with the lost marbles. He’s probably thinking…what the hell did I get myself into. This crazy bitch is about to go into the history of rap 101 starting with the Sugar Hill Gang and Rapper’s Delight.

Morale of the story? Never judge the book by its cover, shawty. You feel me?