Web wobbler! Sun editor in nipple denial, claim Page 3 girls

Topless models are furious with The Sun newspaper's website front page policy of 'putting great big stars over our nipples'. Rebeka from Wapping, speaking on behalf of Page 3 colleagues, stormed: 'Stars over our nips? Next thing will be spotty teenage boys with huge telescopes (ooh!) getting over-excited with sneaky peeps at the night sky.'
Pausing to stop pouting, Rebeka added: 'If nipples are good enough for the Sun's inside pages at the touch of a button (ooh!) why aren't they allowed to stand up for themselves on the home page?'
Astronomer Patrick Moore, said: 'I have been following the alignment of Rebeka's Castor and Pollux with some interest...anybody seen my monocle? It appears to have popped out.'
Sun editor Dominic Mohan commented: 'Heavenly bodies? Phwoar!' And added: 'Wahey!'