‘Sister Wives’ Recap: Kody Brown Forbids Daughter To Kiss Boyfriend

Kody Brown may have a VERY active sex life with four wives, but he’s adamant that daughter, Mykelti, 17, and her boyfriend, John, never EVER kiss or it will lead to “broken hearts.”

Sister Wives’ Kody Brown must have married every woman he’s ever planted a kiss on, because he completely freaked out during the June 8 premiere episode of Sister Wives when his daughter, Mykelti, held hands with her dumbfounded boyfriend, John.

Kody Brown Tells Daughter Not to Kiss Boyfriend

The unlucky teen, who is taking college courses, had only been seeing John for about a month when Kody decided, “I’m going to have the ‘man talk’ with my daughter and her boyfriend.”

“We want to prevent as parents, kissing and holding hands, because they lead to broken hearts,” Kody told viewers.

“She has my biology, so I know when she holds your hand, she’s going to think she’s in love with you. And because of biology, if you get too close and you get too physical, the nature is that you’re going to break up and you’re going to have a broken heart from it.”

Mykelti and John’s faces were priceless. Who knows what John was thinking about his girlfriend’s family at that point. I’m guessing he knew that the Browns are polygamous, but clearly he had no idea that pre-marital physicality of ANY kind was forbidden, as far as his girlfriend’s dad was concerned.

Mykelti later laughed with her sister, Madison, about how Kody ‘never talks about how you can’t have sex’. He’s just so focused on just preventing the first step down that pass.

His explanation of why kissing was SO dangerous was so astounding, that it practically qualified as an epic moment in television history: “When you kiss the person that you kiss, the hormones go into your moth and it regisers certain things that will stimulate both the heart and the body for other reasons, ” he expounded.

Reasonably, Madison later pointed out to her sister that, “hormones going into your mouth — I don’t know how scientific that information is.”

Kody Brown Explains Anti-Kissing Rule: Kissing Leads to Sex

Finally, Kody got to the essence of his monologue on the dangers of kissing: “It’s a very biological thing, and it’s not necessarily true love, and when you’re kissing it leads to certain things like the desire to be involved in more than just kissing.”

He insisted that science backs up his belief that “kissing can be very dangerous.” Got that, but this wasn’t the end of Kody’s crazy rant.

Just when you thought he couldn’t get more wild-eyed, he literally looked up at the heavens and addressed his maker: “I don’t know why God did this! He makes it so when you’re 14, this works, but you shouldn’t do ‘it’ until you’re 24. We’re going to have to have a chat,” he warned God.

Well, needless to say, boyfriend John was mystified by Kody’s kissing /handholding rant. Especially after Kody told him and Mykelti, “Don’t sow your wild oats or you defraud your brother.”

Huh?

John interpreted this to mean, “Don’t go for ‘it,’ until everyone’s okay with you going for ‘it!'” Fortunately, Mykelti, having lived with her dad — at least sometimes, got Kody’s drift and she asked her dad, “So my kiss given to someone else, takes it from my future husband?”

Well, this pleased Kody, but John is having none of it. He actually told Mykelti, “I don’t agree that we have to wait so long to start engaging in romantic relationships. I think we can begin to blossom at a younger age.”

You could pretty much tell from Mykelti’s laugh at this that hormones were going to win out over Kody’s stern warnings even though Kody and Christine were pleased with themselves after the “talk.”

Meri Brown Stands Up for Herself to Sisterwife Robyn

You have to hand it to first wife, Meri, who confessed to Kody that she desperately wanted to go back to college to fulfill her dream of getting a degree so she could work with troubled teens again.

She had worked at a residential center helping ‘at risk’ youth in Utah before the Browns became famous polygamists. Once Meri’s lifestyle was known, she lost her job. But while Kody was supportive of Meri’s ambition, it turned out that fourth wife, Robyn, was not.

Robyn’s been the prime force behind developing the family’s My Sisterwife’s Closet retail jewelry business, and she took Meri’s college revelation to her as a personal abandonment.

“It took everything in me not to just walk out the door. I thought we were in this together,” she confessed after Meri revealed her plans to go back to college within a couple of months.

“I feel ditched… and it’s so irritating. It’s on the verge of taking off,” she griped to Mary.”

The conversation got even more intense. “It’s not like I’m pooping on your party,” Meri insisted. But that’s exactly how Robyn felt, even though she claimed that she wasn’t upset.

“It’s not about pooping on the party. It’s about being in the same party. It’s like a school girl wanting to have all my friends in the same party,” she insisted.

Well, Robyn has always ben the most intense of Kody’s wives. The one who gets most upset when any of the kids want to step off the reservation i.e. doesn’t necessarily want to be an enthusiastic polygamist when they grow up. So it wasn’t too surprising that she felt abandoned when Meri asserted her own dream and plans to leave Robyn’s “reservation.”

But, you had to be cheering for Meri, who stood up for herself. She may not have been blessed with the multiple children she always wanted, but she’s going to now take control of her own destiny and have the career she always wanted. Yay, Meri!