Veggie
haters, rejoice! There's finally scientific proof that your fastidious
avoidance of eating leafy greens is paying off. You see, instead of being
good for you, vegetables are actually dangerous and may kill you:

According to a new study by the CDC, the greatest number of foodborne
illnesses in the U.S. are not caused by raw cookie dough or undercooked
meat or questionable shellfish, but by leafy green vegetables.

Of the 9.6 million cases of food-borne illness reported each year,
51 percent are caused by contaminated plants; leafy greens alone contribute
23 percent of the total, more than any other commodity. All the meat
and poultry commodities combined--beef, game, pork, and poultry--were
responsible for 22 percent of illness, and dairy carried 17 percent.

All food has a chance of contamination from workers who do not practice proper hygiene. Most of the dangerous contamination comes from human E. Coli, not bovine or porcine. As well, we are not very tolerant of the bird version of E. Coli which is Salmonella.

Green leafy vegetables cause so many problems because they are rarely cooked. The spinach that got me sick last week would have been fine if I boiled it instead of using it in a sandwich.