He called me what?

I was sitting at a circular booth in Standard with some friends, when one turned to me and said, “Jack was saying not very nice things about you at that event, you know.”

I looked around the booth as my eyes widened, waiting for the rest.

“And?!?!”

“Well, I don’t want to say it out loud … ”

I felt my face get hot. She leaned over and whispered it in my ear so no one else could hear it.

“He called me prude?!” I exclaimed loudly. I was relieved. That is such a stupid thing to call a grown woman.

I hadn’t heard that word since high school. I didn’t really know what it meant back then, but a lot of boys used it regarding girls they couldn’t “do work” with — which meant anything from making out to the big S-E-X. I was called “prude” a bunch in high school. But, good God — it was high school. And, I remember one day, I went home and looked up the exact definition, and couldn’t figure out why being prude was such a bad thing.

Jack and I had been on about 3 or 4 dates. I wasn’t completely sure how I felt about him, hence the multiple dates, but I eventually accepted that the lack of chemistry between us was palpable. Call me crazy, but in order for physical things to happen between two people — some sort of mutual chemistry has to be there.

In the heat of my annoyance, I sent a text to Jack, letting him know I knew of his ridiculously lame behavior, hoping he had a better explanation. Jack flat-out denied it. Unfortunately for him, the guy he spilled this comment to is a credible source, and leaked it faster than you can say “what bro code?” And, a mutual (also male) friend told me that Jack said he was ticked his trash talking found its way to my ears. Further evidence that men love juicy drama just as much — if not moreso — than women. (Ahem…just sayin’)

Over the years, I’ve grown a thicker skin, but the idea of someone unnecessarily, deliberately name-calling and badmouthing me while I stood just feet away from them at a charity event disgusted me. However, I also had to admit — his choice of word was frustrating. I mean, since when does not being interested in someone constitute being a prude?

I thought of sending him a dictionary and/or a thesaurus. Maybe a value pack.

Amanda Talar

41 Responses

This happened to me recently only I was called something else, not so nice. When confronted, of course he denied it. I went right the source who also confronted him and said “you did say that” and again, he denied it. I love calling people out. Makes them look like an ass when they try to lie their way out of it. Gave me a good laugh anyway.

Classic, he has to call names because God forbid there is a woman on this planet who could not be interested in him, sexually. Hence the prude reference, he is just deflecting his own insecurity. So rude.

Being a prude is not a bad thing. What I don’t get is why you would text him to call him out. A “grown woman” would be the bigger person, laugh it off, and move on. You yourself admitted there was no chemistry. Done and done.

Here’s something: While reading this post I remembered back in Jr. High, there was a boy I liked. He told my friend that if I were a hooker I would be standing in the unemployment line. Back then it was horrifying, especially coming from a 14 year old boy. But now I laugh about it. In quite a sick way, it is very funny.

Ugh, yes, I haven’t thought about the word prude since high school. Seriously, how old is this guy? At this point, it should be an admirable quality that you aren’t easy, slutty, and potentially riddled with STDs.

Like others have said, he’s just ticked that he invested so much time and didn’t get laid. Oh boo hoo!

More evidence that you’re such a good catholic girl. LOL. Anyways, I agree with Leigh 100%. It’s also a little self-coping mechanism to make him feel like there is absolutely nothing wrong with him and it somehow is all your fault. I also agree though that there wasn’t much need to text him back and create more drama. Laugh it off and move on.

the guy simply didnt have the right skills to pick manders lock, no more no less, and even better if he would have focused on the bigger picture instead of selfish gratification mandy probably would have given him the keys herself!

It’s not a bad thing to be a “prude” but he (obviously) meant it that way. Which sucks – it’s immature and classless. I think your friend probably didn’t want to say it out loud because she doesn’t like people talking about her friends. I know I wouldn’t. 😉

Not doubting that your friend is a gossiper but in this case I think his motivation was far more to see how you reacted to being told you were called a “prude” than in the interest of just spreading gossip.

Oh, another thing that is like nails on a chalkboard to me is when people use, “prude,” as an adjective. Like, “You’re so prude.” Prude is a noun! You’re either a prude or you’re prudish. Ooooo I hate that.

Did you not read the recent article in the NY Post that explained how the “price of sex” is dropping? It’s only supposed to take a text message, a couple happy hour beverages, and a cab ride home to get in the sack.

I do agree that being a prude is not a bad thing, although his behavior was. However, I am also concerned with “your friend” telling you about someone making a snide comment – trying to help you out or trying to make you feel bad? Not so sure …..

My question is why are you on a 3rd or 4th date with this guy if you have no chemistry? Really? It does not excuse him calling you names or anything, but why continue to see him if your just not feeling “it”?

I wouldn’t worry too much about what people are saying about you behind your back (what you cannot control). Worry more about what you say about others behind their backs (what you can control). All this gossip mongering makes it seem like you are all still in high school.