I once thought George Bush’s core constituency was unbreakable. I thought that the 30 percent of Americans who prop Bush up would remain loyal no matter what. Over the past few years I wrote any number of comments online, arguing that “George Bush could kick his wife into the middle of the street and slit her throat on live television and he’d still have that 30 percent, who would quickly find some way to blame Laura’s murder on Bubba Bill Clinton.”

As I write this today, it looks as if I may have been wrong. Little George last week stepped into a Texas-sized pile of cow stuffing when he signed on to ramrod the congressional immigration reform drive. Not only did Bush get stinky brown poo all over his pearl-handled rodeo boots but our cowboy president's decision to ride shotgun for the proposed immigration bill enraged his erstwhile supporters, who now shoot rhetorical holes in Little George’s big white Stetson hat. And that’s not all, Pard: whenever the pistoleros stop to reload, they threaten George and his pals at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue with vigilante justice.

The ruckus started when, speaking in support of the immigration reform package favored by Congress (and reviled by everyone else), Bush said those who oppose the legislation are people who just “don’t want to do what’s right for America.” Other GOP tub thumpers agreed: Lindsay Graham added: “We’re gonna tell the bigots to shut up.” Homeland Security chief Michael Chertoff said those who oppose the measure are people who’d like to see illegal immigrants killed. Another Bush spokesman implied that opponents of the measure are psychotic, saying that they suffer from “rage” and “national chauvinism”.
What Little George and his gang in their enthusiasm forgot to remember is that crazy, unpatriotic bigots who form the hard core of Bush’s support network don’t like being called crazy, unpatriotic bigots. And so, you see, it wasn’t long before Right-wing media were all ablaze with comments from crazy, unpatriotic bigots who fancy themselves principled conservatives:

▸ “I am tired of Washington elites calling me a racist bigot because I believe in the rule of law, fairness and protecting our national identity.” – Wes Allen, Troy, AL, to the editor of the Montgomery Advertiser, June 3.
▸ “George Bush .... will be remembered as the president who discarded American sovereignty, rule of law, language, and culture in exchange for cheap lettuce and fruit.” – John Lillpop, who bills himself 'a recovering liberal,' June 3.
▸ “Those who endorse a vigorous immigration crackdown are upholding a sound conservative idea ... namely, the rule of law.” – columnist Steve Chapman, Chicago Tribune, June 3.
▸ “It’s a great national concern about observing the rule of law.” – Sen. Arlen Specter, in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, June 3.
▸ “It's about the rule of law, our national security, the American culture, the English language, national unity during time of war, the constitutional rights of American citizens and the fiscal concerns of American taxpayers and their descendants.” – columnist David Limbaugh, May 22.
▸ “Over those years, it has not been uncommon for conservative thinkers ... to disagree.... But never before has a dispute degenerated into a street fight. We're seeing one now.” – editor, Arizona Republic, June 3.

In the Wall Street Journal on Friday, June 1, columnist Peggy Noonan – arguably the most sacred cow in the whole Republican herd – called George W. Bush a fool and a wastrel. Noonan chased the accusations by urging conservatives to dump the Bush administration because, she claims, the Bush administration has already dumped them: “This will require courage, serious thinking and an ability to do what psychologists used to call letting go,” Noonan concluded. “This will be painful, but it's time. It's more than time.”

Them’s what they call fightin’ words in Texas, folks. Them’s the kind o’ words a person caint take back nohow – not even in politics. The next few days and weeks may be interesting as we see how the GOP reacts to such pressure at this moment in history. If crazy, unpatriotic bigots have their way, Noonan’s words may be followed by a giant sucking sound as Republicans run away from the Bush administration like it was an anthrax plague. If party hacks have their way, we may hear a giant rumbling sound as Republicans circle their wagons around George W. Bush.

Of course Money will be the deciding factor, and what Money will do only time can tell. Neither the crazies nor the hacks will walk away from Money, no matter how many conservative principles the pols dig up, dust off, and wave around while they pee their collective pants and moan words like “party loyalty” or “do what’s best for the country.” If Money finally deserts George W. Bush, then he and his administration are headed for the last roundup. The only question that will then remain is: Will Money, having deserted Bush, move in with the crazies or stay shacked up with the hacks, or will Money try to hold the coalition together by hooking up with both factions at the same time?

Whatever the denouement may turn out to be, at this moment it has epic potential: Bush and his gang, like Ringo and the Clantons, ride into town with a view to a kill. Dressed as Doc Holliday and the Earps, crazy, unpatriotic bigots walk out to meet the Bushmen. The leader of the hacks assumes the role of crooked Sheriff John Beehan. Dirty Money shows up as a crowd of drunken saloon whores come to watch the fight and reward the victors. Off camera, a lonely trumpet plays Deguelo. Somebody somewhere cracks a pecan. Sixguns blaze and roar. Men drop dead.

Given the nature of everyone involved, history might record that fight as “The Shootout at the Not OK Corral.” If it happens, I won’t cry no matter who gets hurt or how badly. You shouldn’t, either. They’re all a lot of scum.

Jimmy Montage's slick piece, Crazy, unpatriotic bigots need love, too, published in the June 5 Atlantic Free Press, offers a profundity of thought sorely lacking in the current war being fought in America over illegal immigration.

The accompanying photo showing President Bush mounted on a horse in the midst of answering nature's call (the horse, that is!) was especially charming, and provides a fairly succinct summation of Dubya's amnesty proposal: Horse crap being sold by a dyslexic, alcoholic cowboy!

Good shot, Jimmy. Pinched from a recent Montague family album, no doubt?

However, with regard to substance, please inform Jimmy that lumping Sen. Arlen Specter in with those "30 percent of Americans, who prop Bush up," and who would remain loyal no matter what, would be laughable were it not so damn funny.

In fact, Senator Specter has been a consistent and vocal opponent of the Bush administration on any number of issues.

Mind you, the gentleman from Pennsylvania is not nearly as liberal as, say, Democrat Teddy Kennedy.

But that is only because Specter's brain has not been soaking in whiskey 24/7 for 50 years, as is the case with Senator Kennedy.

Still, for Jimmy to be a serious contender for a Pulitzer, his text should be corrected.

I recommend that Jimmy's reference to Specter be replaced with a direct quote from a real crazy, unpatriotic bigot who, speaking on the floor of the United States Senate, had this to say:

"In response to increased terrorism and abuse of social programs by aliens, (I) today introduced the first and only comprehensive immigration reform bill in Congress. Currently, an alien living illegally in the United States often pays no taxes but receives unemployment, welfare, free medical care, and other federal benefits. Recent terrorist acts, including the World Trade Center bombing, have underscored the need to keep violent criminals out of the country."

The senator’s bill, titled the "Immigration Stabilization Act," overhauls the nation's immigration laws, and calls for a massive scale-down of immigrants allowed into the country. The bill also changes asylum laws to prevent phony asylum seekers.

The senator said the U.S. open door policy is being abused at the expense of honest, working citizens.

The senator continued:

"We are a country founded upon fairness and justice. An individual in real threat of torture or long-term incarceration because of his or her political beliefs can still seek asylum. But this bill closes the door to those who want to abuse America's inherent generosity and legal system."

"Our borders have overflowed with illegal immigrants placing tremendous burdens on our criminal justice system, schools and social programs. The Immigration and Naturalization Service needs the ability to step up enforcement. Our federal wallet is stretched to the limit by illegal aliens getting welfare, food stamps, medical care, and other benefits often without paying any taxes."

"Safeguards like welfare and free medical care are in place to boost Americans in need of short-term assistance. These programs were not meant to entice freeloaders and scam artists from around the world. Even worse, Americans have seen heinous crimes committed by individuals who are here illegally."

So, just what sort of American scum would take such a politically incorrect and bigoted stance?

A right-wing, rednecked, racist and lifelong Republican, right?

Actually, Democrat Senator Harry Reid, the current majority leader of the U.S. Senate, introduced the Immigration Stabilization Act in the United States Senate in 1993. The statements quoted are from a press release issued by Reid’s office on August 5, 1993.

Fast forward to 2007, and one discovers that Harry Reid is a leading proponent of amnesty for illegal aliens, a community that has grown to anywhere from 12-30 million people.

What caused Harry Reid to flip flop from "Deport the bastards!" in 1993 to "Let them all stay and make them all citizens!" in 2007?

Excuuuuse me, Mr. Lillpop!
I looked all through my article and can't find a single word in praise of liberal nut cases like Pelosi, Reid, and Kennedy. I can't even find mention of their names. Maybe that's because the article wasn't about them -- a small point you might consider. Another is that anybody who's read my other stuff would know that I despise liberal Democrats as much as conservative Republicans. Neither faction, to my way of thinking, is either truly liberal or conservative. Both whore for Money, for with them it truly is as you say: "Principle be damned."

On another tack, I've often listened to Sen. Arlen Specter run his yap in criticism of this or that Bush policy, but I've yet to see Sen. Arlen Specter do anything more than run his yap. He might, for example, use his leadership position to help rid us of this criminal president by calling for impeachment, say, or for repeal of the Military Commissions Act (among other legislative atrocities). Unlike you, it seems, I take note of what politicians say but take to heart only what they do.

Thanks for your praise of my "slick piece." I don't think it's one of my best. Then ending, for example, would be better if it were real instead of fiction.

I don't think you're a very perceptive reader.
I mean I DID say that I despise liberal Democrats as much as I despise conservative republicans. If that isn't a direct response to your earthshaking revelation about Sen. Harry Reid, it ought to be close enough for you to get my drift -- unless, of course, you are lying to me and Sen. Harry Reid isn't really a liberal.

And now I just gotta add: If the game you're playing is your best effort at an argument, you're in way over your head at Atlantic Free Press. There are lots of people playing at AFP who'd think it child's play to hand you your silly ass after kicking it up, down, and sideways across 40 rhetorical acres.

I won't waste any more of my time with you. Just remember: you were warned.