Girls, when you are in a relationship is it right to hangout with whatever guys you want?

When you are in a relationship is it right to hangout with other guys alone? What if your boyfriend never met the other guys? What if you met these guys after you started dating your boyfriend? Do you really expect your boyfriend to be OK with it? Would it bother you if he went to hangout with another girl you never met?

Most Helpful Girl

Anonymous

it wouldn't bother me if he hung out with another girl as long as she knows about me and does not cross any boundaries. I should be OK for us to have friends outside of our relationship at any time as long as these people know your taken and they understand that any advances will not be tolerated. When you have trust in your relationship, and trust in your friends it shouldn't be a problem, unless the guy is very insecure in which case the relationship will weaken.

What Girls Said 6

Is it right? Yes. Why wouldn't it be? I'm not going to put myself in any situation in which something bad could happen and any guy I'm hanging out with one on one is a good friend who has no interest in me romantically.

Never met him? Who cares? That doesn't make it any more or less likely for us to cheat. If my boyfriend would feel more comfortable meeting him first then I'll oblige but there is no excuse for not letting me see my friends who aren't hitting on me or otherwise trying to get me to break up with my boyfriend/affecting the relationship in any way.

Met them after relationship started? Yeah, I make friends all the time. I'm a really social and outgoing person. Not to mention in college you're going to meet and become friends with a lot of people you didn't know before. If he has a problem with that he's an over controlling douche who's insecure and too immature to have a relationship.

Him okay with it? Yes, yes I do.

He wants to hang out with girls? Fine. I trust him enough that it doesn't matter. I love him and honestly go him for having girls he feels comfortable with to hang out with. I couldn't care less if I tried.

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Asker

understandable, but what if the guy has clearly made comments to her on how "beautiful she is" , or that he is "patient" ?

I trust my boyfriend because he hangsout with groups of people he's just a social butterfly but I'm respectful to him in the fact that I don't feel its appropriate for me to hangout with other guys without him present and with me the only guy that's okay is my gay best friend cause he's more like a girlfriend. Its just out of respect. A group of guys is only okay if they are like her brothers or have been like brothers to her throughout her life.

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Asker

i agree, I would be OK with a group of guys if I had met them before and they were like brothers... but if its a new guy.. a new coworker.. I never met him they text all the time and they hangout and get drunk for 4 hours then what would you say? I think that's a problem.

Red Flag major problem I'm sorry but it is. If I was to meet a new co worker I would be like asking them to double date with me and my guy or fixing him up with a friend of mind and double date that way its more appropriate or like saying something like you should meet my boyfriend I think you two could be great friends. but getting drunk for 4 hours that's highly inappropriate.

yeah there was definitely another way she could have handled it. she is a selfish girl. she said I was mad over suspicions... but her behaviors encourage suspicions so I don't feel bad... I know I made the right choice

Im happy for you in a way sometimes its hard to make those decisions. But once you do at some point you feel proud of yourself for standing up for yourself and not letting them make you look like a fool its sometimes refreshing.

As long as she's honest about it, tells you beforehand and where they are hanging out then it shouldn't be that big of a deal. You could always suggest that you guys all hang out together at some point. If she isn't acceptable to the idea then I'd be a bit suspicious.

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Asker

thanks, she didn't let me know until two hours in when I called her. And at that point she said she was only getting "a drink", then another two hours later she was still there and drunk. When I called her she was obnoxious to me in front of who ever she was with.

Well I wouldn't jump down her throat right now. I'd express to her that it makes you a little uncomfortable with the fact she decided to go out and get drunk with some random dude. She was still being honest about what she was doing and who she was with. She could've just lied to you. Communication and trust are key fundamentals in a relationship so I think you should just express your feelings to her in a non combative way and see what she says

I think as long as its a bunch of guys and not just one guy then its OK and that the girl should be honest with her boyfriend and tell him that she's with them. If he was alone with a girl then ide just figure that he was cheating.

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Asker

right... so if your boyfriend was going to go hangout with a girl... would you expect him to call you first? or would you be OK finding out 2 hours later that he had been hanging out with her for an hour already?

I would never do that for respect to my partner, and I wouldn't like if he does it, unless she's ugly and doesn't like sex at all...lol

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Asker

ha, I understand how people want their freedom. I know I have friends that are girls that I would never hookup with, but if I met a new girl and we had been flirting back and forth, she had clearly made comments about me being attractive and has asked me to hangout... then I would think my girlfriend would be extremely uncomfortable, especially if she has never met the girl. I know that I can be a lot more comfortable about a guy friend after I meet him. You can tell if the guy respects you.

i personally am friendly with a bunch of guys but not super close. I don't usually hang out with them alone anyway.

if I had a serious boyfriend I would introduce him to my friends so he can see they are cool. and I would certainly hope he can realize that certain guys are not a threat, because some really aren't.

but if it was someone who was a "threat" or some new guy who could be interested (often you can't tell right away but if you have been friends for a long time and all that, I would hope my boyfriend would be understanding.

i would not be so thrilled with him hanging out with some girl I didn't know either.

part of a relationship is trust. if you can't trust your significant other it is a problem.

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