Thursday, February 14, 2008

Worst of NYC Craigslist Bike Ads #51

Today may be Valentine's Day, but it's also officially a Very Big Day in the world of bicycle retailing. Why? Because Kevin's selling his handlebars. And when love and bikes face off, you can always count on bikes to fight dirty, kick love squarely in the groin, and take the win. So if you've got some cash earmarked for a floral arrangement, a romantic dinner, or a pair of fruit roll-up underwear, forget it. This is an ad nobody can resist:

This is what all you track and fixed-gear riders what? "Have been waiting for?" "Need to make your lives complete?" "Are humping in your dreams when you're doing those goofy epic-length skids?"

I've been asked a million times weather I'd sell my Mavic TT bars and I always said no.. Wow, a million times. That's a lot! You've got to be a really together person not to let that level of attention go to your head. I can see him emerging from his building each morning, only to be greeted by the neighborhood fixed-gear riders:"Is today the day, Kevin? Will you sell us your bars now? Pleeeze!?!"I'm sure up until now he's given them the "Pee Wee's Big Adventure" treatment:"It's not for sale, Fran-cis!"But now, finally, they are for sale. Huzzah. Why?

I'm not using these on my new buildup so they now on the market.. (Going with all black parts on my build)

I see. Kev's taking the cool up a few notches with the new bike, so we now have access to his cast-offs. I for one am glad that he is keeping the trickle-down economy of fixed-gear coolness alive. See, as Kev gets cooler, he sells off the stuff he's tired of, which in turn makes less cool people a little bit cooler as well. The result is we all move towards a state of ultimate cool. And that's beautiful.By the way, if you were wondering just how cool Kev is, he's subtly showing you with his photos:

"Yeah, instead of just placing the bars on a surface of some kind I think I'll hold them up in the air so people can see my ink. Check it out, a full sleeve. They don't give these to just anybody."

"Yep, full sleeve on the left arm too. Impressed? Thought so."

“See? They go all the way up to my elbow!” I wish I had been there when he was taking this photo. He must have looked like William Tell about to shoot an arrow of cool right through the apple he’s just placed on dorkiness’s head.

Normal scratches here and there which you can see in the pictures. Price is firm due to the fact that they are rare, everyone wants them, and I've even had people offer me way more for them.

Kevin212-[deleted]

Everybody wants Kev's bars, but Kev isn't in it for the money. He's just trying to keep the continuum of cool going. By the way, Kev isn't the only thing in those photos with sleeves--those handlebars look like they've got a sleeve as well, which means you can get a better quality TT bar brand new from Nashbar for a quarter of what Kev's asking. But then again, it wouldn't be rare, would it? And as we all know, aluminum handlebars get stronger with age.

NOTE: I also have some other things I'd trade.. Campy Record 165 Track Cranks I'd trade for Black Sugino 75 Cranks (in great shape)

Campy Aero Seatpost 27.2 I'd trade for a Black Miche Supertype

Pictures upon request..

Kevin is clearly over classic Italian. Take note. Black is the new black.

By the way, if you're lucky enough to wind up with these coveted bars, I recommend a nice spoke card to go with them:

"He must have looked like William Tell about to shoot an arrow of cool right through the apple he’s just placed on dorkiness’s head."

That's just too classic! Good post today BSNYC, where do you come up with crap like that? The obscure references I can handle... I make plenty of them myself through the day... but stuff like that makes me wonder why you aren't writing for the J Peterman Catalog(ue).

"By the way, Kev isn't the only thing in those photos with sleeves--those handlebars look like they've got a sleeve as well, which means you can get a better quality TT bar brand new from Nashbar for a quarter of what Kev's asking."

"One of the most salient features of our culture is that there is so much bullshit. Everyone knows this. Each of us contributes his share. But we tend to take the situation for granted. Most people are rather confident of their ability to recognize bullshit and to avoid being taken in by it. So the phenomenon has not aroused much deliberate concern. We have no clear understanding of what bullshit is, why there is so much of it, or what functions it serves"

I hate black components*: Stems, handlebars, cranks, wheels, and derailleurs should not be all black. Whatever happened to silver as a component color? It's almost impossible to find stems & handlebars, seatposts, and increasingly, wheels in silver. It's like the entire bike industry (or the part of it that makes parts) has gone the way of Henry Ford: "You can have any color you like as long as it's black."

*Please note, I think black is a great color. It should probably be the only color for tires, bike shoes and shorts/tights.

Clearly, someone else in Brooklyn knows a little better what the bars are worth without the show. Although a quick glance at the rest of their wares points to such rarities as a custom road frame with complete gold campy groupo, enough to make any fixed gear hipster jealous.

Don't buy Kevin's bars. I've got some like these that I'll sell for $75 and I'll even ship them for free! They are probably more rare than those Mavics. I'm only looking to make $50, so my loss is your gain!

Bikesgonewild, I am glad that you chose to delete your beyond-inappropriate posts on reproductive technology from earlier this week. However, this being Valentines Day and all, before we get back to bikes, can you give us the 1-800 number for the 30-day free trial of the penis enhancement pills you were apparently shilling for?

Snob, It's called a feeler post. You post stuff for sale you have no intention of selling, just to see how many people want your stuff. It serves to purposes, 1)gives you an idea of how cool you are (if you get a good response) 2) you can gauge how much you can expect to make if you are ever forced to part with the item (you know...to pay rent and shit).

I always get a kick out of these idiots who perpetually try to sale their kids out-grown in two months infant sized Harley chopper. Seems every one of those mid-aged biker posers who turned their noses up at bikers back when they were cool, now have to get all the Harley shit like they were into it all along..Only idiots spend big money on a kids first bike; rarely do they actually ride it much before an upgrade (or rather up size)..You know motorcycles are not cool anymore when bikers have more money than brains...

It's because the bars are back on my bike as we speak. Why did I want to sell them you ask?? Extra cash for V-Day gifts for my girl.. Why else do any of us ever try to sell the mass amount of bike shit we have.

I'm relatively new to BSNY, but I am familiar with the super-hip bike messenger look since they can be seen outside the building where I work on a daily basis. I do smurk when I see a top-tube pad now and I owe that all to you! (I guess top-tube pads are still cool here in Denver.)

After reading today's post I went to craigs denver and looked up fixed gear and was surprised, amused, revolted, and a little sad. The fixie scene is alive in well in the mile high city!

Check out this ad, the fixies are going after each other - or someone is starting a BSMHC...

I'm somewhat disappointed, BSNYC, that you didn't chastise Kevin on his use of "weather."Quoth Kevin: "I've been asked a million times weather I'd sell my Mavic TT bars and I always said no.. "While you lay into him--quite deservedly, I might add--for the severely fragmented statement in the post's title, you overlook his failure to use the word "whether." I suppose your oversight in this case is understandable; Kevin did provide plenty of material for you to work with.

I hate every fixed gear rider in columbus.. because nine times out of ten they are carbon copies of our little friend Kevo. I hope he won't forget to keep his key's on the outside of his girl pants on a lanyard like everyone else. :)

earmarked refers to public money set aside for an individuals own prerogative

Not necessarily. You're talking about "pork" there. "Earmarks" can also refer to a fairly innocent budget line that Congress declares can be used only for one particular purpose - for instance the prosecution of people who sell outrageously priced crap components on CL. If money was earmarked for that noble purpose, it couldn't be re-programmed into other worthy causes, like declaring war on the Evil Empire, which is comprised of NittoStan, Thisbikeisfastnia, and Belgium.

On an unrelated note... is it a little bit hella vibe in here today, or is it just me?

i don't play bike polo, but I don't think this is how they get there when they do. something tells me they ride their bikes there, maybe i'm off.

so toyota is doing not just one bike polo ad for their mammoth suv's, but a series of ads. kind of like the tv ads with the obnoxious dude that lived for a month in his "next generation nissan sentra" with oranger playing in the background. somewhere, among the ad execs on madison ave, someone thinks they're enlightening the suburban universe with the bike culture they encounter on their walk from the N/W train.

by the way, dead meadow (from the spin magazine review) is a great band.

Don't forget, Kevin has been asked a million times "weather" he'll sell the bars. He's so cool that he didn't finish 6th grade. Plus, he loves the all black look. I think I saw him on Cashmere Mafia last week.

Hey, Denver! Thank you very much for posting that craigslist add, I must have overlooked it in my recent craigslist browse. Funny stuff. I am wondering if I have been to your building as I am a messenger here. No top tube pads have ever been installed on my bikes. Not even as a joke.

Huh, looks just like the bars I got at a local swap meet for $5. Though mine had obviously been severely devalued by the previous owner's application of bar tape. Despite my hours of effort to correct this, I fear my Mavic TT bars will never be quite right.

Effectively completed, BSNYC. I am hoping Kevin is actually questioning just about all their existence decisions at this time. Perhaps he will just impale herself upon his / her tavern ends and help save the entire world one more jackass.

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About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!