Share this:

The older I get, the more I realize that I understand less than I thought the year before. The joy in this is that no matter how difficult life can be; it is never dull and there is never an opportunity NOT to learn something new.

This has been a very hard year for me and many people I love; yet just because it was hard makes that love between my family and friends that much more stronger and meaningful.

So to all my friends and family I wish you a very happy/merry/joyous/orgasmic/giddy and/or stupid (choose your poison) holiday and new years. Whatever may come in 2007; let’s all hope that our love keeps growing.

I was doing dishes as I listened to the story on electronic voting machines and how difficult the technology is and just caught the last piece about how having a printer print the vote is too complicated of a technology to implement because “the voter wont know if and/or what to do if the printer jams and neither would the poll worker” (paraphrased).

This is potentially the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard anyone utter that has at least an elementary school education.

Share this:

I am sitting here waiting for my youngest daughter to think up the last two questions of 10 total that she needs to ask a parent about “my values when it comes to sex”.

She’s having trouble coming up with the last two- I just asked her “what kind of teenager are you?”

Making fun of your kids is a blessing of parenthood.

I have no idea what she plans on asking.

I am trying to decide how I am going to answer her too. All kinds of evil ideas are coming to mind. When they were babies I used to joke to friends about training them to eat dirt and telling them that dogs are orange, etc. Being they are babies and blank slates- they wouldn’t know any better- I’d save tons of cash on food and enjoy the perplexing looks on the neighbors faces when “Lassie” is called an fruit… etc.

Torturing your kids is a blessing of parenthood.

Through all the weirdness and sadness and loss of the past several weeks– I am truly blessed.

Now I just need a new bed, a larger place and [thought censored for sanitary reading].

One the backslapping and congratulations begin to wane, it will be critical to the future of this country for the democrats to develop and exercise a bold agenda of righting the wrongs of the past 6 years of the Bush Administration. Before they can do that, there needs to be an acknowledgement that the democrats did NOT squeak by with a majority in the house and senate by having a vision or a plan that the people entrusted to them. They won because of the disgust and abject mistrust of the republican house and senate and 10 years of abuse.

Shrub claimed to have gained “political capital” after the 2004 election- and as ridiculous as that statement was, he wielded that capital as if it actually existed while the democrats, the press and the public sat idly by. Our country is in shambles. Shrubs policies from “you are either with us or against us” to “spreading democracy and freedom in the war against terror” has had a definitive impact. We now have nearly everyone against us, allies included and we have spread terror far and wide and destroyed our best chances of freedom and democracy in the middle east. Our domestic policies are in dire trouble as well- education systems failing as “no child left behind” has left millions behind, the dismantling of FEMA leaving this country with no Federal emergency management abilities whatsoever and even as far as to shut down the EPA libraries around the country as a “cost saving measure” literally making it impossible for any kind of environmental impact studies to be completed without costing 20 times as much and taking far longer than they used to making challenging any development plan an impossibility.

Share this:

passed away this afternoon at 3:30 pm eastern time. I was holding her hand and my father and brother were right next to us. She went peacefully. Her two year ordeal is over. She was tired of being sick and tired of being in pain.

She got to spend a week with her granddaughters this summer. She told me she loved them so much she couldn’t stand it. I know how she feels. She got to spend time with my brother last week- they hung out and watched a movie together. I talked with her on the phone a week and a half ago. Our last words were I love you.

My mom was a stubborn lady. When she fell ill two years ago, the doctor’s did not expect her to survive. In fact, when she emerged from the coma, the doctor said he had never seen anyone that sick live through the ordeal.

She stood by her convictions- even taking a fight to the New York Supreme court. She told a couple to “go fuck themselves” when they were whispering and pointing when we were having dinner in a fancy restaurant in Suffern New York with friends of the family that were black.

One night- when I was 16 and going on a date with a cute girl for the first time, my mother said as we were leaving the house “If you’re going to have sex, use a condom!” Suffice to say, I didn’t get any that night.

She was a brilliant talent- people would invite themselves to dinner just to have her french fries. Every year for my birthday as a child, I got to choose from a book of cakes shaped like dogs and frogs and elephants and whatever I wanted, she would make and it looked EXACTLY like the picture and was the best cake I ever had. Her needlepoint and cruel work won awards and she was asked to speak at events. She as a nurse for over 20 years. She taught at a nursing school for several years. She would run into a student every now again years later and they would tell my mom what an amazing influence and teacher she was.

My mother was one of the most difficult people I have ever known and also one of the most compassionate and loving. Even when we fought at our worst, I never felt unloved.

She gave me my moral base, my drive for truth and conviction of beliefs. She helped me to think objectively and critically at the same time.

I makes me incredibly sad to know that I will never again be able to flick peas at her during dinner and have her call me an idiot. Or see tears in her eyes when she talks about my daughters and how much she loves them and is proud of them.

I was wanting her to meet her great grandchildren. When she went through 10 hospitalization since June, I was going to settle for a week at thanksgiving. I am certain if she could have made it that long, she would have.

I held my mother’s hand today as her heart stopped beating- there was a moment about 20 minutes before the nurse came in to pronounce her were I felt something intrinsic change. It was not long after we had said our goodbyes to her- she was in a semi-coma, totally non-responsive; but I did feel something change.

I would like to believe that that was her being at rest, saying goodbye, finally letting go; shaking the mortal coil and back to whatever it is that makes us, and everything, what we are.

I’ll miss you so much mom. Thank you for everything.

Your son,

Kip

Iris Silverman

1935 â€“ 2006

(Note: yahoo, the fuckers, wont allow me to link directly to my pictures. I will publish to my web site and re-edit this post when I have a chance. Below is a picture of a pictire of my mom, dad an daughters from a few years back and the rest are examples of her artistry)

Share this:

One of my favourite passages of the Tao Teh Ching (from one of my favourite translations).

As the body counts worldwide are growing faster daily, maybe someone who knows someone who know’s someone can stick this under the noses of the “deciders”. Just replace “Tao” with “God” if it will help. Works with Hippies and Scientists as well: God=Love=Heaven=Universe

31.
FINE weapons of war augur evil.
Even things seem to hate them.
Therefore, a man of Tao does not set his heart
upon them.

In ordinary life, a gentleman regards the left side
as the place of honour:
In war, the right side is the place of honour.

As weapons are instruments of evil,
They are not properly a gentleman’s instruments;
Only on necessity will he resort to them.
For peace and quiet are dearest to his heart,
And to him even a victory is no cause for rejoicing.

To rejoice over a victory is to rejoice over the slaughter
of men!
Hence a man who rejoices over the slaughter of men
cannot expect to thrive in the world of men.

On happy occasions the left side is preferred:
On sad occasions the right side.
In the army, the Lieutenant Commander stands on
the left,
While the Commander-in-Chief stands on the right.
This means that war is treated on a par with a funeral
service.
Because many people have been killed, it is only right
that survivors should mourn for them.
Hence, even a victory is a funeral.

Share this:

another sleepless night
why can’t I be tired
at a reasonable hour
it makes no sense
if I will be tired later
why can’t I be tired
sooner
and sleep now
and be awake later
when I am more useful
to myself
to society
to the world as a whole

I never did
fit into the greater scheme
of things

and stuff

instead of
watching Oblongs
and BeBop
which are wonderful
in their own right
and eating fat free
Fig Newmans
which are also wonderful

and righteous

but
wholly not productive

I could be
trying to write
getting caught up on work
unpackaging my mop in a box
and mopping this fucking floor
cleaning the fish tank
driving around
distributing lawn bags
to the homeless
since the night
is moistening itself
once again

but no
I’ll stay up too late
alone in my boxers
think about my kids
and my mortality
and how fucking stupid
the president is
watch one screen or another
and understand
that regardless of
an analagous circulatory system