Haven’t I seen you somewhere before?

I awoke this morning to the joyous sounds of a mug of coffee being placed on the bedside table and the telly flicking on. I rubbed my eyes and watched enraptured as the BBC Scotland news report effortlessly segued from the weekly rundown of the weekend’s stabbings to an image of what looked like a fossilised shortbread biscuit.

The biscuit turned out not to have come from a tartan tin with a picture of Bonnie Prince Charlie on it, but from a Neolithic site on Orkney. It is, in fact, The Orkney Venus. She’s carved from sandstone and, according to Historic Scotland, is the oldest representation of a human form ever found in Scotland and shows the earliest depiction of a face from anywhere in the UK.

Crikey, she’s no looker I thought, and I feel I’ve seen that face somewhere before…