Aunty Leilani said all you Keiki's gotta go bed early tonight so I going
rip one fast one, okay? Here goes...
Once upon one other time, there was one little boy named Kalani. Now Kalani
was always hungry for eat all kind ono stuffs. Poi, sushi, kim chee, adobo,
plate lun ch, any kind stuffs this kid went eat. His mother used to worry
about it so she went to the Kahuna down at the clinic and asked how for
control this buggah from eating her out of house and ho me.

"I went try everything already" said the mother. "I went
even tie'um down to the bed so he no wake up and grind in the middle of
the night, but he went eat the ropes and then he when raid the ice box.
After that he was still hungry so h e went to the next door neighbor's house
and cleaned out his ice box too! What I should do now?"

The Kahuna thought about it for a little bit then said "Get one Ling Hi
Mui and lock'um up in one big strong metal box. Then throw away the key. Next,
take all the food out of your neighborhood for one week. When Kalani get hungry
he going knock himself out trying for get the Ling Hi Mui out of the box. Let
him try until he give up. Once he give up trying for get the food, he going
catch on that so metimes he no can eat whenever he like. After that he should
be cured."

So the mother was so happy that she raced down to buy one metal box, but she
couldn't find one strong enough. So she ended up buying one half ton ACME steel
safe.Then she went home and put the Ling Hi Mui in side just like the Kahuna
told her to and locked'um up tight. Then she emptied out all the food in the
house, and then called all the neighbors for do the same thing.

Then later that night Kalani went wake up hungry as usual. He went check out
the kitchen but no food. He checked out the whole house but no more nothing.
Then he went run across the neighborhood too, but all the food was gone! Then
he ran home and woke up his mother.

"Eh! MA!" he yelled. "No more food no place! I stay starving!!"

The mother smiled and said, "Get food in the house you know, you just
gotta get'um. Get one big Ling Hi Mui inside the safe." And with that she
rolled over and went back to sleep.

Kalani went charge into the next room and saw the safe in the middle of the
floor. He tried to open the door but was locked. Then he got one hammer and
banged on 'um for over 2 hours, but still never open. He went get one big crowbar
and wanged on the safe until his hands was sore. Finally, he got his mother's
car key and drove the car through the house for run over the safe but all he
did was chip her paint.
"I no can open this freakin thing" moaned Kalani. " Whoa the
bummed out!!"

Now all this noise and commotion went wake up the local Menehune named Gen.
Curious about all the racket, Gen went over to Kalani's house and saw the boy
just staring at the safe.

"What's up?" said Gen.

"I no can open the safe where the Ling Hi Mui stay" whined Kalani.
"I tried one hammer, one crowbar, I even when drive my mothers car over
the thing but still I cannot get the food. I give up!"

"Eh, you really desperate yeah?" said the soft hearted Menehune.
"Tell you what, I going open the safe for you if you promise not to eat
everything in sight from now on, okay? All you gotta do is ask me 3 t imes nicely
for open the safe."

So Kalani quickly bowed down in front of the Menehune and pleaded in his nicest
manners to please open the safe. 3 times he bowed and asked. And on the third
bow the safe magically broke open and Kalani had won his prize.

The moral of this story is:
If at first you don't suck seed, Try, Try, a Gen.