Rod Speed described to perfection:
You are less than a sniffing, tainted, dampish ****face. You are a
moiling, idle, encysted looter. You are a pimping, sun-dried,
heat-releasing flummery. You frolicking, rancid, loopy yes-man. You
evacuating, overweening, stodgy goblin. You stammering, motionless, just
potty-trained imbecile. You are a screaking, arse-faced, overexcited
arse. You are a nidificating, empty-headed, shuffling gull-catcher. You
intonating, symbiotic, contrived grandma. You collapsing, illogical,
teeming flirt-gill. You are less than a vomiting, baffled, melancholic
death-token. You are a squalling, puppyish, blanched snot****. You are
less than a dizzying, strip-mined, rash hayseed. You burning,
flap-mouthed, floppy fugitive. You nitrifying, impertinent, slapstick
zigzagger. You are a groveling, domesticated, ransacked telephonist. You
are a freaking, droll, bearded wretch. You flopping, moldering, foppish
homo. You are a farrowing, askew, abject waste of space. You
bellyaching, brainwashed, pudgy gipsy. You are a stooping, stemless,
squashed testicle. You are a bellowing, gushy, irreligious cornflake.
You bitching, moribund, dud gimcrack. You sniffing, high voltage,
overstrung pituitary gland. You waddling, light-fingered, pessimum flea
beetle. You officiating, negligible, deliquescent garbage carter. You
drooling, garbled, one-celled flypaper. You are less than a
generalising, infective, consumptive neuter. You are a baffling, rotten,
bucktooth piece of dog excrement. You cankering, disoriented, suspicious
****-knuckle.

--
Ed Dolan the Great - Minnesota
aka
Saint Edward the Great - Order of the Perpetual Sorrows - Minnesota