Happy ‘Discovery of the Western Hemisphere by Europeans’ Day

It’s confusing to me to celebrate a day for a guy who didn’t do what your old grade school textbooks said he did. I hope all of Columbus’ relatives don’t get in a tizzy and write, but I’m feeling cheated for lack of recognition for deeds I didn’t do.

I have forbidden the C word in my office for the day, which is meaningless since everyone’s off.

There are, of course, additional objections attached to the discovery of a land that was already inhabited. In truth, the holiday should be celebrated by Europeans who discovered destinations (notably Hispaniola) destined to become some of their most popular vacation spots.