Outdoor family vacations can bind or break

1of 8Father and son bike the 5-mile Perimeter Road at Angel Island State Park, the most popular bike trail in the Bay Area. When the last ferry departs, it feels as if the whole island is yours.Photo: Tom Stienstra, Tom Stienstra / The Chronicle

2of 8A campsite overlooking the city on Angel Island in San Francisco, California, on Sunday, March 19, 2017.Photo: Gabrielle Lurie / The Chronicle

3of 8Cyclists enjoy the bike path that winds through the forest after passing in front of the hotel at Camp Richardson.Photo: Jay Jones / Special to The Chronicle

5of 8In this Friday, Oct. 23, 2015, photo a California black bear roams in Three Rivers, Calif. Tourists hoping to see a bear in Sequoia National Park this fall probably stand a better chance spotting one in this tiny town at the parks entrance. Three Rivers is literally crawling with hungry bears driven down from the mountains by drought in search of food to fatten up for the winter. The four-year drought shriveled the berry crop in the Sierra Nevada and oaks on parched hillsides produced fewer acorns, forcing the bears into the valleys carved by the branches of the Kaweah River that give this town its name. (AP Photo/Brian Melley)Photo: Brian Melley / Associated Press

6of 8Time spent around the campfire with your family, friends and loved ones is the most treasured time in the outdoorsPhoto: Tom Stienstra / Michael Furniss / Special to The Chronicle

7of 8Big Basin Tent Cabins: A cool night and a warm cabin in the redwoods can transform your world overnight into a life of freedom, leisure and play.Photo: Tom Stienstra / Tom Stienstra / The Chronicle

All some people need to be happy on vacation is the idea that an ice cream cone is in their future.

That is why Camp Richardson near South Lake Tahoe often works for youngsters and families on vacation. They have the best ice cream parlor in the Sierra. You can’t buy happiness, the saying goes, but you can buy ice cream.

The official start of summer arrived this past week. For many youngsters and their families, that means the time for a vacation is now. A vacation can be the tie that binds, or the disaster that breaks you apart.

Family camping, with unique demands for today’s youth, requires special choices, attractions and appeals. Recent visits to youth camps and private discussions with counselors have shown me that parents cannot simply load up their car, take off on a road trip and expect spouses and children to be exhilarated by the experience.

What works for some husbands, for instance, does not work for their wives. What works for some couples does not work for their children. To get all on the same page requires a careful choice of destination and meeting of the minds on activities.

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The accompanying lists show what works and what does not work, along with the 10 Commandments of camping with kids. By region, here are the best destinations for families and children:

BAY AREA

Angel Island State Park, San Francisco Bay: The boat ride to Ayala Cove, with the wind in your face and landmarks in every direction, is exhilarating. Extend your visit with a hike-to or walk-to campsite, and once the last ferry has departed, you get a sense that the island is all yours. Bike rentals (including tandems with kid seats) make the Perimeter Road a must-do. Contact: Angel Island State Park, 415-435-5390, www.parks.ca.gov; reserve campsites at www.reservecalifornia.com

SANTA CRUZ

MOUNTAINS

Big Basin Redwoods State Park, Boulder Creek: Match your camp to your comfort level: tent cabins and drive-in, walk-in and hike-in sites. That done, short trails near park headquarters — the Redwood Loop, along Opal Creek and to Sempervirens Falls — provide quick payoffs. The meadow near the parking has a lot of butterflies. The campgrounds often have squirrels by day, raccoons by night. Contact: Big Basin Redwoods State Park, 831-338-8860, www.parks.ca.gov; reserve campsites and tent cabins at www.reservecalifornia.com

LAKE TAHOE

Historic Camp Richardson Resort, South Lake Tahoe: Camp Richardson has Tahoe’s best ice cream parlor, a fantasy-like destination that comes alive in the back of every kid’s mind (and that of many parents). Cabins and campsites are located in pines within walking range of bike rentals and the bike trail, a marina with boating, and a cafe. This is a go-to site for family vacations. Contact: Historic Camp Richardson Resort, 530-541-1801, www.camprichardson.com

CENTRAL

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What works, what doesn’t

Payoffs: The ability to sustain interest ends the moment there is no more chance for a payoff.

Driving: Dads often love long drives to see new country. Youngsters, on the other hand, prefer playing video games on their phones during the drive, and then ask, “Are we there yet?”

Activities: When you wake up, when you go to sleep, where you will go, what you will eat and what you will do for recreation ... all of this needs to be agreed on so everybody shares the same vision and expectations.

Rewards: Break up trips with short-term rewards, such as keeping a bag of goodies that are occasionally handed out as bonuses. Commit to stop at ice cream parlors, which keeps kids engaged searching outside the car, rather than in their electronic bubbles.

Wildlife: Sighting wildlife, especially big furry guys like bears and elk, can validate a summer vacation. That helps make Prairie Creek Redwoods and Sequoia National Park great destinations. On the other hand, extended ventures into the wilderness, such as tracking game trails in hope of a spot-and-stalk with no guarantee of success, is exciting for the wildlife expert and a dud for kids.

Hikes: A short walk to a great swimming hole, like from Mono Hot Springs to Dorris Lake, or to Rainbow Pool on the Tuolumne River near Groveland, is something that youngsters buy into. Long hikes carrying gear to a cold wilderness lake are not.

Boating: Youngsters like fast boats with the wind in their faces, with destinations to swimming spots. They don’t like hard paddling in a sit-on-top kayak or stand-up paddleboard without a clear reward, and then facing another long paddle on the way back.

Fishing: Youngsters want to catch one fish after another, where it’s easy, often with visuals, like along the tules near Clear Lake State Park, where a bluegill nibbling a worm can make a bobber pop around on the surface. They do not want to flyfish or endure long periods of no bites, such as at a spring-fed stream, where high expertise is required, for elusive wild trout.

Treasured: The most treasured time is around the campfire with people you care for most.

— Tom Stienstra

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SIERRA NEVADA

Lake Alpine, Stanislaus National Forest: A resort with cabin rentals and nearby Forest Service campsites along this pretty lake makes this destination a winner. A small boat ramp, rentals, plus a trail around the lake, with a spur to little Duck Lake, provide recreation choices. Contact: Lake Alpine Resort, 209-753-6350, http://lakealpineresort.com; Stanislaus National Forest, Calaveras Ranger District, 209-795-1381, www.fs.usda.gov/stanislaus

SONOMA-MENDOCINO COAST

MacKerricher State Park, Fort Bragg: The variety of recreation makes this one of the best state parks for families. A short walk leads to a seal viewing deck (with the spouts of whales sighted offshore), a pretty cove provides a small beach, little Lake Cleone is within walking distance, and you get access to a great bike trail that starts at the park. Contact: MacKerricher State Park, 707-964-9112, www.parks.ca.gov; reserve campsites at www.reservecalifornia.com

REDWOOD EMPIRE

Prairie Creek Redwoods State Park, Orick: From Elk Prairie Campground, in the meadow right across the road, Roosevelt elk are a common sight. Near the visitor center, the James Irvine Trail provides quick access to a series of 300-foot trees. A short drive on Davison Road leads to a wilderness beach and Fern Canyon, stellar. Contact: Prairie Creek Redwoods State Park, 707-488-2039 or Visitors Center, 707-465-7335, www.parks.ca.gov; reserve campsites at www.reservecalifornia.com

SHASTA-CASCADE

Lake Siskiyou Camp Resort, Mount Shasta: The best swimming beach for kids in the north state, with tons of giant inflatable structures and slides, protected by a buoy line, brings in families from long distances. A bike trail rings the lake. Campsites and cabins, most in wooded sites, plus a camp store and cafe are available. Contact: Lake Siskiyou Resort Camp, 530-926-2610, www.lakesiskiyouresort.com

LASSEN

Manzanita Lake, Lassen Volcanic National Park: Park-model cabins and a campground are located within short walking distance of Manzanita Lake and a rental site for sit-on-top kayaks. A camper store is nearby. It’s located near Old Station entrance station at 5,890 feet. Contact: Lassen Volcanic National Park, 530-595-4444, www.nps.gov/lavo; reserve campgrounds, cabins at www.recreation.gov

SOUTHERN SIERRA

Dorst Creek, Sequoia National Park: This is the best place in California to see a bear, either one trolling through the campground in the evening, or along the adjacent Generals Highway. Nearby are the mammoth Sequoia redwoods at the Grant Grove, Tall Trees Grove, and the hike to the top of Moro Rock, which is always a hit. Contact: Sequoia and Kings Canyon National Parks, 559-565-3341; Lodgepole Visitor Center, 559-565-4436, www.nps.gov/seki; reserve at www.recreation.gov

EASTERN SIERRA

Convict Lake, Mono County: This gorgeous lake is set in a stark basin edged to the east by towering 10,000-foot ridges. Cabins and campsites provide a launch point to a small marina, boat rentals and trout fishing, and a trailhead for hiking and horseback riding. Contact: Convict Lake Resort and Cabins, 800-992-2260, www.convictlake.com. Inyo National Forest, Mammoth Lakes Visitor Center, 760-924-5500, www.fs.usda.gov/inyo

Tom Stienstra is the outdoors writer for the San Francisco Chronicle. He is America’s first Back Country Sportsman of the Year and the only two-time National Outdoor Writer of the year. In 2008, he won first place for best outdoors column in America. As a photographer with The Chronicle, he won first place in America for best outdoors feature image in 2011. That year he was also awarded as Far West Ski Writer of the Year. His books have sold more than 1 million copies. His first novel, "The Sweet Redemption, An Inspector Korg Mystery," was released for 2013. His television show on CBS/CW won first place as America’s best outdoor recreation show, and his radio show on CBS won first place in 2010 for best environmental feature show in America. Tom has hiked 25,000 miles, caught world-record fish, led dozens of expeditions and taken part in all phases of the outdoor experience. He was the fourth living member inducted into the California Outdoors Hall of Fame.