Saturday, January 17, 2009

It started with hearing that I had not lost weight. This shocked the crap out of me because I weigh myself at home once a week! And I have lost weight! I use the same scale...so I know it's not that! However, in my defense (and to make myself feel better) I had on some huge boots and a coat...and all that had to increase my weight! Now the sad part, I think I've only lost 2 pounds since I started the Metformin. It's the sad fact that I have no self discipline. One day will be a good diet day, then the next...not so much. So my weight has gone down as much as a 5 pound loss in 1 week...only to get right back to where I was the next week. But the good news is I'm not giving up! The more and more I do GOOD, the less and less I do bad...so hopefully even though I fall off the bandwagon, I can get right back on. Better than just giving up, right?

So that's enough about the depressing fact that I'm 100 pounds over weight :( Moving on...

My ObGyn was also not very pleased with my weight. She was also not very excited about moving on to meds so quickly. She said she would like to see me lose 100 pounds before I get pregnant. (yea right!) She said she would also like me to give the Metformin alone another few months. (again, yea right!) However, she also added that if I really was ready, she would go ahead and start me on 50mg Clomid once this cycle is over and I start my period. DH and I talked it over...and we're both ready. We're both making a better effort diet-wise, but we don't want to put this on hold. I told him "I don't feel like I'm in a rush. I just don't feel like 15 months of trying and wanting to move on to meds is quick." And he agreed. He's so relaxed...he's ready for whatever. He knows this stresses me out, so he is GREAT with accepting whatever. He's ready to be a dad...he's ready for a pregnant wife and planning for a baby...he's ready to start meds...he's ready to start procedures....just whatever. He's up for it. :) He's great. :)

My Dr told me that she does 5-6 rounds of Clomid. If that doesn't work, then she will refer us to a fertility specialist. So that brings us up to June or July. My birthday is July 15th and I would like nothing more to get to announce that I was pregnant on my birthday. Or DH's birthday. It's August 3rd. That would be great :)

DH said he would get his SA sometime this upcoming week. That way if there is something wrong there we won't waste or time or money on the Clomid just yet. And speaking of DH, he has 3 interviews set up for Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday! I'm so proud of him! They are all with temp companies, but that is how he got the job he was at. So even if he has to start out at a smaller wage, I'm confident that he can move up again! And we only have 4 months before I graduate and start working again! So we're OKAY!!! It's so comforting to know that we're okay. God is so good :)

And on that note...our marriage retreat was AWESOME! We played a game Friday night similar to "the newly wed game" except that they picked 6 couples from a different "years married" group. The groups were 0-5 years, 6-10 years, 11-15 years, 16-20 years, 21-30 years, and 31 and up! And me and DH got to represent the 0-5 years group! Yay!

So the questions were all about our wedding....they sent all the husbands out and asked us questions...then they brought them back in to answer them and if they matched we got points! So the first round me and Joel got all of them right! Woohoo! Then the second round they sent all the wives out. I missed one! Gah! I couldn't believe it! haha The question was "How many months were you engaged?" I said 12...DH said 13! LOL We were engaged on July 28th and married August 11th. So it was understandable that both of us answered what we did! But we still won!!! All the other couples missed 2 or more! hahaha! It was great! Our Bishop and his wife represented the 31 + group. One question was "What color was the suit/tux your husband wore at the wedding?" Our our Bishop's wife announced "Blue Surge" and we all started dying laughing! She laughed and said he would never remember! And guess what? Our pastor asks him the question and he announces "BLUE SURGE!!!" And the whole crowd was in an uproar of laughter! Then the next question was "What was the main color of your wedding?" Our Bishop says "Ivory" and his wife looks at him and says "What?! It was pink!!!" And of course all the men start asking him "You remember 'Blue Surge' but you don't remember pink?!" haha! Then he turns to his wife and says "Well honey, the only person I saw was you and you were in white!" aaawwww! It was so so so much fun!

Then this morning's message was about what to do when your perfect marriage (a beautiful vase) crashes into pieces. Our speaker actually knocked over a porcelain case and it shattered! He explained that the world tells you to just throw it away because it is unrepairable. But you need to bring the broken pieces to the alter and give them up to Jesus. Tell him "this is all we have, but we know you can fix anything." Then he pulls out an exact replica of the original vase and says "And once you let Jesus mend your marriage it is just as valuable as it was before it shattered. No glue, no tape, no cracks!!! That means NO SCARS! Good as new! There is no evidence that a problem ever existed!" Oh Hallelujah! It was such a powerful message!

Then he asked us to all gather around the front and pray with our spouse. Then we prayed for our pastor and his wife. It was great! And then the most amazing part of the whole experience...mine and DHs talk afterwards in the car. I said "Wow that was a great message. Very powerful. There are a lot of people I can think of that should have been there for that." And DH says "Yea, but is it just me or did you think that didn't apply to us much this time? I mean, I know we're facing hard times right now, but...I just don't feel like our marriage is in pieces." And I said "You know what? I was thinking the same thing!" I felt like we could learn from the message, but I honestly felt than much more happy with my marriage that PRAISE GOD we have not been through that kind of "shattering" of our marriage. And I pray that we never do.

So I know this post was extremely long! So here's the summary: Marriage retreat was AWESOME and FUN! I start Clomid 50mg CD 3-7 in February and keep taking it through June or July. I'm not sure about whether she ups the dosages through that time frame or not, but we'll see! Say a little prayer for us that our marriage stays as strong as it is and Clomid is what leads us to our BFP! :)

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comments:

I hope the sa is good and the clomid does the trick. 15 months is not quick she is nuts! Drs have all the time in the world so they are never gung ho about anything. I am glad you had a good marriage retreat and I am sure dh will get a job very soon! All good things in this post. Hooray!

That marriage retreat sure sounded awesome!!!!! I wanna go to one now....I'm going to check to see if we have one in our area. We did an engaged encounter before we got married, but sadly, that one was not very entertaining (the speakers read from scripts rather than really talking to us). I hope to find a retreat more like yours!

About Me

My name is Emily and my DH is Joel. I am 22 and he is 27. We have been married since 8-11-07. We were TTC for 18 months with PCOS and male factor infertility.
Then on April 3rd, 2009 I got my surprise BFP! Our EDD was Dec 4th and Elijah Joel made his appearance on Dec 1st, 2009!
Thank you God for blessing us with our miracle baby! Our family is the greatest blessing of all!