Spicy Cauliflower Fried ‘Rice’

Any idiot can grate some cauliflower, steam it a little, and try to pass it off as rice. You’re not fooling or impressing anybody with that sandy mess. It takes a special kind of idiot like me to take it one step further, spice it up and turn it into something you’d choose to eat on purpose. I’m not going to say that this tastes exactly like fried rice, it’s more like the best couscous you’ve ever had.

Ingredients:

2 heads cauliflower, pulsed in a food processor, or grated, until it looks like rice

2 C frozen edamame

Canola oil

2 T minced garlic

1 bunch scallions, chopped

1 C almonds

1 ½ t Chinese Five Spice powder

½ t ground ginger

2 T chili paste (Sriracha works)

Salt to taste

Instructions:

Get a small pot of salty water boiling. Add the edamame, and cook for 4 minutes. Strain and reserve

Coat the bottom of a large frying pan with canola oil and heat over medium. Add the garlic, almonds and scallions. Stir, and cook for 3 minutes until fragrant.

Add the cauliflower and spices. Stir to combine everything. Cook for 2 minutes.

Cover the pan, lower the heat, and let it cook for 6 minutes.

Taste and adjust salt.

Feel free to add soy sauce…if that’s your thing. I like it better without