6 ways to teach your kids about gender equality

Whether you've got a girl or a boy, there are simple – and subtle – ways to make sure they have a healthy attitude towards gender.

By
Liat Hughes Joshi

08/03/2018

Getty ImagesLiderina

Today, 8 March, is International Women's Day – and it's the perfect time to take stock of how gender is portrayed at home.

Whether you've got daughters, sons or both, by putting gender on your parenting agenda, you'll make an important difference to your children's beliefs about who they are and what they can become.

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Here are some top tips for what you can do to help your children develop healthy attitudes…

1. Counter the 'micro-messages' your child receives

A mosaic of stereotyping can surround your child from day one, starting with those 'pink for a girl, blue for a boy' new baby gifts, although at that stage they're obviously not going to take much notice. But that won't last for long…

Research suggests that children can absorb all sorts of ideas about gender from an early age, building pictures of what girls and boys 'should be' like, from their characteristics and the way they should dress, to the toys they are 'meant to' play with and the jobs they might do later on.

One US study from 2017, for example, showed that girls of just six were more likely to assume storybook characters described as 'brilliant' were male. So, be aware of how all those little things – the 'micro-messages' – about gender can matter when taken together, and look to counter them where needed.

2. Explore gender-neutral clothing and toys

Encourage your child to keep an open mind about the clothing and toys aimed at their gender and be mindful of what you buy for them. There's absolutely no good reason why girls should wear pink and play with dolls more, or boys might be encouraged to favour blue and use, say, construction toys. There are now plenty of gender-neutral clothing options, both online and in-stores.

But don't worry too much if your child does naturally gravitate towards gendered toys or clothes – just be sure to keep giving them a choice.

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Getty ImagesChris Ryan

3. Aim to be positive role models around the house

Of course, if you're a two-parent family, you probably want to play to each other's domestic strengths. Who does what at home can also depend on employment commitments, but ideally avoid splitting chores along traditional 'dad does DIY, mum cooks' lines.

It's also wise to ensure children help out and learn skills in non-stereotypical ways. For instance, both genders will find sewing, and changing light bulbs or fuses equally useful in later life.

4. Watch how you describe your child's behaviour and character

It's tempting to use traditional adjectives such as 'pretty' and 'sweet' for girls and 'handsome' or 'strong' for boys but, again, this gives kids ideas about where their self-worth should come from and the characteristics they 'should' have.

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Instead, try to ensure you aren't solely focusing on characteristics seen as particularly valuable for girls or boys – compliment your daughter's strength as well as her kindness, for example.

Getty ImagesOliver Rossi

5. Balance out outdated views

Unfortunately, your child will inevitably still experience some gender stereotyping. This could come from an old film or storybook, or via relatives and friends who may not realise they're peddling outdated ideas.

The important thing is to try to balance out ideas your child might encounter elsewhere, although you also need to accept that you can't control everything they hear and see.

6. Correct gendered behaviour gently

If your child something sexist or stereotypical, gently correct them and explain why their assumption is incorrect, providing examples where possible.

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So, for instance, if they say, 'Mummies always stay at home with the children while daddies work', highlight a family where the opposite happens or roles are equally shared.

For more tips and advice on dealing with the everyday challenges of parenting, check out Liat Hughes Joshi's new book, 5-Minute Parenting Fixes: Quick Tips and Advice for the Everyday Challenges of Raising Children (£9.99), out now.