Bloke Test: Ice Cube v Wiley

Have you ever had anything live in your mouth?Ice Cube: “Yes, ha ha! A female.” [1]Wiley: “You mean, like, the chicken was alive? No.” [0]

Have you ever been convinced you were going to die?Ice Cube: “No.” [0]Wiley: “I’ve been convinced I might die on more than 40 occasions in my life. Once I fell through the roof of a warehouse.” [1]

Have you ever killed your own food?Ice Cube: “Yes, I have. Fish. I was fishing. We killed it and ate it there on the riverbank. It was cool.” [1]Wiley: “Er, no.” [0]

Have you ever been woken up by a policeman?Ice Cube: “Yeah when I did a couple of days in jail, and I was woken up by a police officer.” [1]Wiley: “Yeah. I’ve had my house raided a few times. I try to put clothes on and they’re like ‘Don’t move! Stay like that!’.” [1]

Have you ever chopped down a tree?Ice Cube: “Yes. It was in California. I was working with my uncle and he used to remove trees and we would trim them.” [1]Wiley: “I have actually. But not a big, massive, real tree.” [1]

Have you ever done a poo at a friend’s house and not been able to flush it?Ice Cube: “No, all my poos go down.” [0]Wiley: “No. Not at a friend’s. A family member. You go to the toilet and you didn’t know it didn’t flush. And there’s just poo and tissue in the thing.” [1]

Have you ever been refused entry to a country?Ice Cube: “No, they love me everywhere.” [0]Wiley: “Yeah, twice to America because my passport was a bit ripped…” [1]

Have you ever made your own alcohol?Ice Cube: “Um, no” [0]Wiley: “Nah. My granddad used to make some weird stuff. It used to stink.” [0]

Have you ever concealed pornographic images in an ingenious way?Ice Cube: “Yeah, I would steal my uncle’s magazines by strapping them to my leg with my sock and take them home.” [1]Wiley: “Nah. I’m not really pervy like that. I’m just quite normal, human, with the girls.” [0]

Have you ever spent more than a thousand pounds on a round of drinks?Ice Cube: “Yeah. Celebrating. I think the Lakers won the NBA and I bought drinks for everybody at the bar.” [1]Wiley: “Yes. If you go to Mahiki and get five treasure chests, that’ll cost a grand. The next day, none of you will be able to walk.” [1]

The Results

Ice Cube:6/10 Tie Above average work from the former NWA man who’s album I Am The West is out nowWiley:6/10 Tie The Roll Deep hero breaks even with the old school rapper. Well done Wiley.