Me: “Oh, wow, it was really loud. You must have been right on the mic.”

Girlfriend: “Huh?”

Me: “I know what scratching sounds like, and it’s not usually that loud.”

Girlfriend: “I think the program just amplifies whatever sound is happening when we aren’t talking.”

Me: “Ah, okay. Well, maybe in the future I can help you with that.”

(She bursts out laughing, then after a moment of realization, I do, too.)

Girlfriend: “I’m not even sure what you meant by that!”

Me: “Me neither! I was just trying to say something supportive…” *she laughs again* “…but it ended up sounding a different kind of supportive.” *we both laugh more* “Seriously, it’s a miracle that you haven’t broken up with me by now.”