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So why do I get turned on when you clean the house?

I’ve been reading a bunch of stuff lately on female dominate behaviour. Initially because I had a bunch of patients needing to have their bottoms spanked, be humiliated, and who seemed to have a real desire to clean my office dressed as a French maid. Now, I must confess I find the whole female amazon, on-your-knees boys kind of hot. Okay, very hot. The idea of ordering men around in and out of the bedroom strikes me as so much fun. A friend told me recently that "if I only knew how to tie a knot, I would be one scary chick". Be warned, I ‘ve just signed up for a September Japanese bondage workshop.

And it is almost always strong, successful men in their day jobs that find being a humiliated sex slave to some strong woman the most interesting. I’ve just finished Barbara Wright Abernathy’s book called Venus on Top, about ‘star women’ – women who were born to lead and the men that love them. She talks about what is the turn on in this relationship. "For men, a strong, responsible, compassionate, non-judgemental, quick to forgive, slow to criticize woman is a treasure." Hear that? Barbara goes on to say that boys were raised and punished by women in authority, and they still secretly need it. I have a bunch of patients that would agree.

For women there is a fun kick in dictating the terms of sexual encounters. Most women have had their share of men who got off quickly and rolled over and fell asleep. sigh. Being in charge ensures that you are pleased first. Damn skippy on that.

And there is the whole housework thing. As my favourite Joan Rivers quote states:

"Don’t cook. Don’t clean. No man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum- "My God, the floor’s immaculate. Lie down, you hot bitch." The reverse however is most definately true.

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Sue, “Sex with Sue” McGarvie, is a Clinical Sex and Relationship Therapist, and an International Expert in the area of Low Libido and Sexual Desire. She is the founder of The Ottawa Sex Therapy and Libido Clinic and YOUR sex and relationship therapist..