100-Word Vignettes

Not necessarily vignettes but certainly 100 words (depending on which software you’re using to count…):

The city was asleep. But one figure wasn’t. It was walking along mysteriously, or perhaps running, sneaking, or racing. The only person that could possibly be up at this time of night would be a writer, fleeing from their mad, insane, and otherwise crazy literary agent. No. Don’t pity it. The writer doesn’t deserve pity. It’s not their fault they didn’t meet their deadline, it’ll tell you. It’ll claim its muse is on vacation, that the white sheet of paper in front of it was mocking it, that it had to take a break. Lies. Foolish words. It’s just lazy.

—

A hundred words. Easily readable in about fifteen to twenty-five seconds for the average interested word connoisseur. But, if you write carefully, with lots of commas, semicolons, periods, and other punctuation (especially commas) you can make them falter, slow, and otherwise delay their reading. Why? Snarkiness, perhaps. Or, maybe, as a power trip. Writers manipulate the minds. At least of their readers. Not nice? Oh, hey, you there… the one reading this… how long has it taken you to read so far? More than twenty-five, possibly over thirty, or even more, seconds… of your life. Like that? Feel happy? Sucker!

—

“Cramberry Sauces” the label read. “You’res favorite smooth desire of gelled happiness. Eat for share, by yourself, or to fun! Website us in good tasty recipes that will you’re love.” Spelling and grammar are dead, Erika thought, as she placed two cans in her cart. Dead. It was a shame how poorly written everything was these days. But at least a few people seemed to care enough about proper English to keep the language somewhat alive. As she wheeled her cart to the next aisle, she mentally thanked the cranberry people for the most correct grammar she’d seen in months.