Sunday, 2 June 2013

DENUDING THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE

Language is the blood of the soul into which
thoughts run and out of which they grow.
~Oliver Wendell Holmes

As a Language Purist, every time I see someone murder any language,
especially the English Language, through spelling, tense, or pronunciation, I
cringe to the bone marrow. I consider Language as an integral part of a society’s
identity which reflects how much progression or retrogression you can
ascribe to such a society; thus any maltreatment of the language portrays the
society as wicked and heartless. You can say this again and again for Yoruba Language, my
Mother-Tongue.

Eeriely, we Language Purists are becoming endangered species no thanks
to the proliferation of smart devices and unending texting which has given
birth to blatant ABBREVIATION and indiscriminate ACRONYMING. We could blame
this on SMS limiting us to a mere 160 characters; we could blame also blame
this on Twitter further reducing that to 140 characters; and we could further
blame this on life becoming so fast-paced that we have to always chase after it
thus having no time to type full words not to mention sentences; but I
absolutely believe we got to this point due to our penchance for taking
everything to the extreme. Abbreviation and Acronyming are acceptable
word-formation processes, but when we consistently abbreviate whole sentences,
it beggars commonsense and comprehensibility.

I know some of us will never write or speak this way, but most people we
relate with write and speak this way now, so we have to also familiarize
ourselves with them so we do not look like Villagers at a Comic-Con with
everyone writing and speaking Klingon and we looking like we have just died and
gone to Hell. Here are a few of these unavoidable aberrations, note that the list is inexhaustible, and like deadly
bacteria, they multiply fast:

2U2 = To You, TooAAMOF = As A Matter
Of FactAFAIK = As Far As I
KnowAFAIC = As Far As
I'm ConcernedAFAICT = As Far As
I Can TellAFK = Away From
KeyboardASAP = As Soon As
PossibleBAK = Back At
KeyboardBBL = Be Back LaterBITMT = But In The
MeantimeBOT = Back On TopicBRB = Be Right BackBTW = By The wayC4N = Ciao For NowCRS = Can't
Remember StuffCU = See YouCUL(8R) = See You
LaterCWOT = Complete
Waste Of TimeCYA = See YaDITYID = Did I Tell
You I'm Distressed?DIY = Do It YourselfEOD = End Of
DiscussionEZ = EasyF2F = Face To FaceFAQ = Frequently
Asked QuestionsFBOW = For Better
Or WorseFOAF = Friend Of A
FriendFOCL = Falling Off
Chair LaughingFWIW = For What
It's WorthFYA = For Your
AmusementFYI = For Your
InformationGA = Go AheadGAL = Get A LifeGBTW = Get Back To
WorkGFC = Going For
CoffeeGFETE = Grinning
From Ear To EarGMTA = Great Minds
Think AlikeGR&D =
Grinning, Running & DuckingGTG = Got To GoGTGTTBR = Got To Go
To The BathroomGTRM = Going To
Read MailHAND = Have A Nice
Day

HBD = Happy BirthdayHHOK = Ha Ha Only
KiddingHTH = Hope This
HelpsIAC = In Any CaseIAE = In Any EventIC = I See

IDGAF = I Don’t Give A
FuckIDGI = I Don't Get
It

IJN = In Jesus NameIMCO = In My
Considered OpinionIMHO = In My Humble
OpinionIMNSHO = In My Not
So Humble OpinionIMO = In My OpinionIMPE = In My
Previous/Personal ExperienceIMVHO = In My Very
Humble OpinionIOTTMCO =
Intuitively Obvious To The Most Casual ObserverIOW = In Other WordsIRL = In Real LifeISP = Internet
Service ProviderIYKWIM = If You
Know What I MeanJIC = Just In CaseJK = Just KiddingKISS = Keep It
Simple StupidL8TR = LaterLD = Later Dude

LLNP = Long Life And
ProsperityLOL = Laughing Out
LoudLTNS = Long Time No
SeeMorF = Male or
FemaleMTCW = My Two Cents
WorthNRN = No Reply
NecessaryONNA = Oh No, Not
AgainOOMF= One Of My
Followers

OTOH = On The Other HandOTTOMH = Off The
Top Of My HeadOIC = Oh I SeeOTF = On The FloorOLL = Online LovePCMCIA = People
Can't Memorize Computer Industry AcronymsPLS = PleasePU = That Stinks!REHI = Hello Again
(re-Hi!)ROFL = Rolling On
Floor LaughingROTF = Rolling On
The FloorROTFL = Rolling On
The Floor Laughing

ROTFLMAO = Rolling On The
Floor Laughing My Ass Out

RSN = Real Soon NowRTDox = Read The
Documentation/DirectionsRTFM = Read The
Fricking ManualRUOK = Are You OK?SNAFU = Situation
Normal; All Fouled UpSO = Significant
OtherSOL = Smiling Out
Loud (or You're Out of Luck)TANSTAAFL = There
Ain?t No Such Thing As A Free LunchTAFN = That's All
For Now

TBH = To Be HonestTEOTWAWKI= The End
Of The World As We Know ItTHX = ThanksTIA = Thanks In
AdvanceTLK2UL8R = Talk to
you laterTMK = To My
KnowledgeTOS = Terms Of
ServiceTPTB = The Powers
That BeTSWC = Tell Someone
Who CaresTTBOMK = To The
Best Of My KnowledgeTTFN = Ta-Ta For NowTTYL(8R) = Talk To
You LaterTWIMC = To Whom It
May Concern

TWMA = Till We Meet AgainTXS = ThanksURL = Web Page
AddressWB = Welcome BackW/O = WithoutWRT = With Regard ToWTG = Way To GoWU? = What's Up?WWW = World Wide WebWYSIWYG = What You
See Is What You Get

XOXO = Lots of KissesYGIAGAM = Your
Guess Is As Good As MineYGWYPF = You Get
What You Pay ForYMMV = Your Mileage
May VaryZZZ = Sleeping

Going by the words of Samuel Johnson - “Language is the dress of thought”
- obviously, we have stripped ours down to its underpants. Hopefully, we will realise at this point that we have gone too far and make a detour or better still, a perfect u-turn...else our kids will grow up thinking they speak English while the whole world looks on in amusement thinking we are re-enacting the biblical scene at Babel.