The bachelors are here! The bachelors are here! ABC has released the names, faces, and absurd bios of the 25 guys who decided to up-end their careers and try to find reality show stardom and, oh yeah, true love. BacheloretteDesiree Hartsock's suitors are just what you'd expect: overly tan, suspiciously buff men in their late 20s who have no qualms about going on TV and potentially ruining their lives.

Take a peek at all 25 dudes -- Jonathon and Zak W. are my top picks. Who are yours?