702 Music withNonn Botha

Warning: The content and discussion could contain potentially triggering material

Predatory behavior and sexual abuse at the hands of women, including mothers, are often disregarded because of the social construct that perceives women as caring and nurturing in their nature.

Statistics show that most women who abuse children have been sexually abused, according to Clinical Sexologist Dr Eve.

Dr Eve also mentions the way in which young men can be taken advantage of by older women, particularly by family friends, as well as the peer pressure associated with it.

That is the one part that we have, the part where young boys are glamourised and revered by their peers because they have an elder lover. There is a lot of glamorisation that happens around that that we really want to demystify.Young boys and girls have been in that situation and have been sexualised by women at a young age.

— Dr Eve, Clinical sexologist

Sharing his experience, John says a high school friend was molested by his mother and how she had coerced them to have sex with her. He shares the trauma that he has carried into adulthood.

When I was invited and some of my other friends were invited for sleep overs at his home, we found out that he was actually sleeping with his mom, which was initiated by her. Us young guys were also drawn into this, sometimes it used to be my friend and one or two of us. I was 16.

— John, Abuse victim

It has let a mark on seven or eight of us who experienced this.

— John, Abuse victim

John explains how he was unable to process the situation at the time.

It was very confusing. At first she would come into the room where you were sleeping in and come and cuddle up to you. I got the fright of my life the first time it happened and then it progressed...

— John, Abuse victim

Dr Eve explains the impact the abuse may have had on him.

There is a schism which might have occurred or might be occurring with John between love and sex where you hear about his high anxiety which is like a PTSD when he gets into a sexual situation. He has almost had to recaliberate his sexual brain to be responding in a regular almost heteronormative situation to sexuality with women and I guess that will take some kind of work to be able to do that.

— Dr Eve, Clinical sexologist

Dr Eve advises therapy for those who have been affected.

Click on the link below to hear the full discussion: (Warning: The content and discussion could contain potentially triggering material)