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Once there was a man. Man, a great speaker, simply an embodiment of logic and reasoning. One thin that he despaired was love. He dared to questions each aspect of love. Through the sight of his logical eyes, love seems not to fit in the equation of world. According to him, love is just a hoax manifested by people, just to avoid the harsh reality of life. In any argument, his logic and reasoning were so compelling that opponent shatters like a piece of glass.

One day, he was walking in a park, grinding with thoughts of his own. While walking, he saw a middle age woman crying lonely. “She’s the wife of Lord Sherman” he whispered to himself. She looked sad and lifeless. He became curious and wanted to know, what’s the reason for her sadness. He went to her and asks “What’s wrong madam?”

To his surprise, she answered, “I don’t think love exists in this world.” Even though he agrees with her, he asks “Why do you think that?” She said,I had been married for last 20 years; my husband was with me for the sake of children. Now the children are grown up. There is no reason for him to stay.” Where is love?” she asked while breathing heavily. “I think Love is just to blurr the misery of reality” she said.

Thier agreement on the topic of love served as a menu card for further conversations. They talked for hours, exploring each other. She shared her side of misery and he engaged with logics and reasoning. Both explored themselves and each other. Both touched happiness in themselves. Both of them left that day with warmth in their hearts after hours of conversation, just to meet again, every day for next two years.

One day the man was invited to neighbouring town for a debate. He couldn’t meet her that day as he was invited,so he asked her not to wait for him. While he was in debate, he sensed this strange feeling, the feeling of desperation. He never felt this way before. He wanted to leave the place and meet her. The moment the debate ended, he went straight to the park; only watch her waiting for him in same desperation. He then walked slowly toward her and said “I think. I love you.” Lady nodded in acceptance. She said she felt this way all along, but had been scared to tell. Soon after they got married.

After some years, coincidently they were sitting beside each other on the same bench, but something was different. They both were unhappy and emotionally wrecked. The man became unloving and the lady non-caring women. This wasn’t the way they met. What leads to this moment?

As the man thought deeper, while sitting beside her, he realized that both happiness and unhappiness toward each other is a product of same seed. The seed of responsibility. When they met, no one was responsible for others happiness, it was within the person. Generated by him for himself. But, after getting married both of them made others responsible for their happiness.

Both of them delivered the right of happiness into their counterpart’s hand. No matter how much she tries she can never make him happy because she doesn’t know, what he wants nor can he. Soon, expectation took over compassion, misery took over happiness and suspicion took over love.

Doesn’t this sounds familiar!

Isn’t it looks same to our love story? Met each other, fall in love, get married, fall out of love, and now, don’t know why even together. The major problem of every couple in this world, right now.

To have a relation built around happiness, you must be the owner of your own happiness. You must not give in your happiness, just because your partner is unhappy. You should be pulling your partner up, not diving down his/her level.Learn to be happy on your own and relationship would be a pleasant-pleasant world.

It is funny, how, Love can destroy our pity little world and as soon as, we are able to define the outer peripheral of love, the curiosity to dive deeper becomes prevailing & that’s what we are going to do, today. We as a community is struggling with a problem, called “How to Love?” Teen and brand new adults are highly likely to fall in pit of misery although incapable to raise the question, thanks to our society. This continuous emotional contingency hinders their capacity to blossom and feel, leaving them psychologically crippled. Their expedition in hunt of the answer is choked with despair because of our well known psychiatrist, Love gurus, and mystics. How do I know that, because last thing I remember is paying them fairly big chunk of my money with no satisfying answer what so ever.

Since the past, several fanciful things are said and attached to love, but I would like to bring it all the way down to the mechanics of love. All Humans are very well capable of love, only when they are willing to. But due our idea of love, we have outsourced it to heaven. People began to believe that solely place where love can exist is heavens. But it really is a human emotion, but then why so many people tend to misunderstand simple fact like that? Reason is simple. It’s called PRACTICE

Even practice in wrong direction is not fruitful.

Yes, Practice! We, humans are the creatures of practice. We can practice anything till, it is manifested in realm of reality and in this case we practice so hard to create a hell around us that we managed to be in total resonance with our misconception and judgements. Judgements and Misconception like “I can’t love” “Love is a heavenly thing” “I am not here to love” etc. These all kind of bizarre judgements about us and others is being manifested by us. Till a kid turns into an adult, he has college a big heap of judgements, preconceptions and misconceptions that he is having a real hard time differentiating feeling from cutter of prejudices.

As we have coated about “What is Love?” in earlier blog that love is human energy in an exceedingly pleasant form. If your outlook is pleasant, everything around you will seem to be pleasant. For an instance, you are driving on high traffic day and you already have some assumptions in your baggie, such as women can’t drive. You have it for no reason, even if every women driver is driving fine just as you, you can’t stand them. You mumble to yourself all kind of rubbish. This all is because of your outlook about women driver. For a change, you think of every driver with forgiving attitude, you will tend to ignore, silly mistakes of others because it wouldn’t matter in you. Life around you is pleasant. If you just won 10 million dollar in a lottery, you wouldn’t care even if someone drives a tank over your Toyota. Isn’t it? Because you know you are going to buy something whole lot better, so it does not matter.

Pleasantness of heart can do wonders.

Bang! Now you know the first step, change your outlook about the world. Look for something nice in everyone.

Now when we talk about love, there is one rule that “there is no rule”. No rules or no conditions for your counterpart. You accept them as they are or leave them once and for all. You allow them to be whatever they are and still love them. This idea seems to be absurd. Isn’t it? But when you look little carefully to your life, it happens every single day. For example, let’s say you have a dog and you both are fond of each other. You feed him and he loves you. It doesn’t matter to him, if you came home after 10 minutes or after 24 hours. He will shower you with love, no matter what. Right! But one day, you come all frustrated because lost your job, you can’t show same appreciation as him, he doesn’t take it personally. He lets you to be what you are at the moment. He goes away and continues his life. Next day you are back and to our amazement, he can’t stand to love you because he doesn’t care what you did previous day.

That is the thing to learn and apply in love. If your partner is angry or sad, demonstrate your love, but never sacrifice your pleasantness just for the sake for company. Let the counterpart be angry but never be a partner in their anger because they can’t appreciate your love right now. You don’t take it personally. It is their part struggle and they will surface out of. When you behave this way, you have become your own master of pleasantness (just like the dog) and your counterpart will evolve and thieve out of struggle because he/she will know that no matter how bad things go, you will be there waiting for them, blissfully.

And that’s how you should love but then again can you really love her/him. Noticeably, No you can’t! You are showering him/her with love irrespective for her/his behavior.. You didn’t change them; you just have changed your outlook. You have become pleasant and hence, you have become love.

“You can never love something or someone, you can only become love”

You can do it.

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“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to
warm your heart or burn your house, you can never tell” -Joan Crawford

Many
people are together because of it, many more are alone, and much more are
scared of it. People have described it as the center of world and still, it
tops the reasons for people’s depression. Yes! You are right!! Its love and we
are going to talk about it.

We, Human have remarkable the ability to misapprehend the concept of love.
Love is like those extinct birds that everyone seems to be talking about but
not one has encountered. So, what’s Love? However before you want to rise, you
must ask “Why is love?”

Yes! Why
is love? Implausibly vexing and still amusing question. You would
possibly say love exists as a result of attraction between individuals, or each
finds happiness in being love. You are virtually right however, let’s dive
deeper.

As Aristophanes stated-“Love
is a remedy for an ancient wound inflicted on us by the gods,Who
divided us in two as a punishment for ourArrogance. Since those
primordial times, each of us is onlyHalf
of himself or herself, searching relentlessly for Completion.”

Here
Aristophanes has something interesting to say that we have a tendency to look
for one thing that completes us. People are searching for that “something”
whole their life as they travel through the materialistic world, emotion world,
and even in metaphysical world. For an instance, assume that you don’t have a
love some girlfriend in your life and you are also in a financial crisis. So,
what is the thing you crave the most? Well of course! Money, unless you’re
planning seize your future girlfriend’s wealth. You are in search of money
because in that moment that creates the impression of completeness. In any
emotional crisis, you seek for an emotional contact to share your feelings, as
sharing your feeling causes you feel more stable in the ripples of uncertainty.
That’s what you crave most in that instant. People crave for various things in
different situation that provides them with the feeling of singularity.

Although,
there is one thing special in love; you are drawn to someone, not a thing. You
might say “Bud! Isn’t that obvious!” but think deeper, what is it that draws
you? For some, it can be the engaging face, or body or manner of talking or
something you made up in your brain attic about them. For me, it had been her
mesmerizing eyes. There will be always a quality, you like about your
counterpart regardless of your awareness. The question “WHY IS LOVE?” will
be answered now.

Love is
because, you perceive a quality in a person that attracts you and it presents
the sensation of completeness in you. You wish for the perpetual possession of
the nice. Like Mr. Plato said “The motive force in love is a yearning for
goodness, not just completion”. Indeed, goodness itself is the solely
object of affection. When we love someone, we are really in quest of possessing
the goodness, not temporarily of course, but permanently.

Then,
What the hell is LOVE?

Bear
with me a little. To makes things a little more interesting, picture this.
You’re a multi millionaire, and the grand owner of water tank installed on the
hill’s top holding the tank’s tap for no particular reason. May be because
there is a crisis of water and since you are such a humanitarian, you are
providing water to the travelers. However, there is a catch, always a catch.
There are countless types of cup. Some are dirty, others are dirtier, and few
are clean. Before you offer the water to the travelers, you have to taste a
little by yourself! Which one will you choose? Isn’t it obvious the one with
vodka in it!! Jokes apart! You will choose the clean cup.

Now,
think about water as your energy and cups as an expression of the energy such
as like anger, love, lust etc. When you fill your energy in cup called love for
others, you also taste energy in a harmonious way(clean cup) but when you pour
your energy in anger cup you taste your energy in not so harmonious way (dirty
cup) which provides you feeling of sourness unlike the love cup.

So, from
this context Love is a pleasant and harmonious expression of you energy in the
pursuit of virtues in others.

Isn’t
that’sLOVE!

_____________________________________________Comic are copyright of "How to love?" By Dorris, Webtoons