Thursday, February 21, 2013

We all had a good chuckle (and by "chuckle," I mean "eye-roll") when we heard that Anthony Swarzak cracked a couple ribs when he and a teammate engaged in what the team officially calls "horseplay." Now, we're hearing that Scott Diamond's bone chips -- you know, the ones that required surgery in December -- occurred because he was jumping rope.

It makes one wonder whether players participating in common children's activities is perhaps unlucky.

Fortunately, I am not the only one who is concerned by this. We here at k-bro's baseball blog have been granted exclusive access to the following directive.*

To: All Minnesota Twins Players and ProspectsFrom: The Minnesota Twins Training and Medical StaffRe: Off-field HazardsIt has come to our attention that some players are engaging in risky behavior which has potential to result in injury. In order to mitigate this risk, we have deemed it necessary to mandate that the following activities and items are forbidden unless properly supervised by a member of the coaching or training staff.

Wrestling, tickling, tag, ghost in the graveyard, and other horseplay. It's all fun and games until someone cracks his ribs.

LEGO® bricks, Hot Wheels® cars, Barbie® doll shoes, jacks, and other tiny items. You don't know true debilitating pain until have stepped on one of these items. Also, imagine the beat-down you'd get if Gardy stepped on one of these and found out you left it on the floor.

Nerf guns, darts, Red Ryder BB guns, tracer guns, bows and arrows, and other means to launch projectiles. It's a sure thing that if you play with these, you'll shoot your eye out.

Water balloons, squirt guns, water pistols, bubbles, super soakers, and other means to make the floors slippery (celebratory champagne exempted). Wet floors can cause slips and falls which endanger tailbones.

Paper airplanes, coloring books, paper dolls, and other things with sharp edges. These things can cause paper cuts that can get seriously infected. Besides, if you play with a paper doll of yourself, that means you're already injured.

We here on the training staff are certain that these preventative measures will help ensure an injury-free season.

So there you have it.

*Special thanks to Betsy and Babs for their help in obtaining this information. :)

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

In less than a week, the Twins will officially open Spring Training camp. As of now, 66 players are expected to be there: 34 pitchers, 9 catchers (a lot of catchers needed for a lot of pitchers), 13 infielders, and 10 outfielders. There are a lot of bodies (I imagine the locker room might be a tad crowded), but there are also a lot of holes from 2012 to be filled. By the end of it, there will be 25 men ready to head north and face the Tigers on April 1.

Now, if you're as tired as I am of this miserable winter, you're really looking forward to listening to the Spring Training games once they start on February 23 (you may be especially excited if you're in the Twin Cities area because now that the radio broadcasts will be on FM you can finally get radio reception at work). So I've wrote up this handy-dandy list of all the names you'll hear.

40-Man Roster:

These are the guys most likely to land on the big league club. And those who don't will likely be next in line in case of injury or ineffectiveness. A few guys are on the 40-man simply because the front office wants to protect their future with the team -- removing them from the 40-man roster would expose them to waivers.

Guys We Probably Don't Know But We Want to Welcome to the Twins Organization

Josh Roenicke. RHP. Age 30. 2012: 63 games for the Rockies. Claimed off waivers from the Rockies.

Tim Wood. RHP. Age 30. 2012: AAA or Pirates system. Signed as a minor-league free agent.

Non-Roster Invitees:

While it's more likely that 40-man guys will break camp with the big-league club, these guys have earned the right to try to impress the decision-makers. A quick paperwork effort would make any of these guys a Twin. I predict one or two of these guys will impress enough to make it -- Jared Burton did it last year.

Guys We Know and Love (Maybe)

Nick Blackburn. RHP. Age 30. 2012: Red Wings and Twins. Will miss time due to wrist surgery.