Best Chinese Take-Out, North (2012)

Sometimes you don't want to cook, but you crave something hearty, surprising, and flavorful. And you have only $8.25 in your pocket. God bless the no-frills Chinese take-out joint. Hong Kong House boasts a superfriendly and quick staff, and has a quiet cult following in North Miami that troops there for the roast-pork fried rice, which features plump squares of meat and is delightfully free of grease. Or they — who are we fooling? — we stuff our faces with the beautifully addictive "krab" rangoon, fried goodness full of fake crab, cream cheese, and scallion-like spices. Dammit, there we go again, making ourselves hungry. If you'll excuse us, we're going to see how much money we have buried in our couch.