This
article focuses on transsexual women who have had Sex
Reassignment Surgery (SRS) - a separate article is needed for
pre-SRS women. Whilst male to female transsexuals have
widely differing sexual experiences, I believe that this comment
from Nikkey - two years after she had SRS at age 25 - represents
a fair compromise of opinions: "I enjoy sex like any normal
girl".

Being 'swept off my feet' by a man is the dream of many
women, but for most transwomen allowing a relationship with
a heterosexual man to develop in to physical intimacy and
sexual intercourse is immensely stressful and worrying.

By definition, male to female Gender/Sex
Reassignment Surgery radically alters the genitalia of the
person who undergoes this. Whatever their
sexual inclination, most post-SRS
transwomen have a great curiosity about making love to a man as
a woman. A quote from a transsexual woman in the UK:

I had sex change surgery which,
according to the letter I received from my doctors ... produced
'an excellent result'. I was quite relieved to learn that,
as I did not know for 2 months after the op whether or not I was
a surgical success or failure. Mind you, I secretly
started having vaginal sex way before I was allowed to do it, so
by the time I got the official licence to shag, I was far from
being a virgin LOL!

"Just make sure you tell them all
to be gentle with you the first few times" said my surgeon.
Little did he know!

I'm now fully recovered &
have to tell you: vaginal sex is absolutely wonderful, I can
completely lose myself in a guy's arms as it makes me feel like
the ultimate REAL DOLL I have always wanted to be.

The above
quotation certainly doesn't apply to all transsexual women, but
most can relate to it - even the doll comment.

A Rain Check

For some post-SRS
women, their first sexual experiences with a men can be
wonderful and strongly influence their future sexuality.
For example, one transwoman in her late 20's said after her
first night with a man, "I had discovered sex ... a new hobby
... more boys in to bed".

But
for others the experience can be a huge disappointment, one
transwoman in her early 40's says of her first experience with a
man: "Just worried [beforehand] ... I was bored ... have
to change the sheets". Another admits "I don't have the
sex drive I had as a boy ... my husband wants sex all the time
but I limit it to maybe every other night as it's so boring."

Perhaps
inevitably there seems to be a degree of correlation between
sexual satisfaction and successful physical feminisation,
including age of transition and high quality surgery. Good
physical feminisation results in more relationships with
attractive and 'sexy' partners, and hopefully more enjoyable
physical sensations during everything from kissing, petting and
nipple sucking, to clitoris stimulation and vaginal penetration.

Individual priorities also vary dramatically, as
the requests made of surgeons in relation to constructing or
enhancing the female secondary sexual characteristics of
transsexual women show. By a large margin the first
surgery sought by transsexual women is actually breast
augmentation, not SRS.

Facial feminisation surgery is often the next priority.
Prior to about 1995 this really just meant a nose job (rhinoplasty),
but progress since then has been extraordinary. For many
transwomen with deep pockets and willing to stand the pain, an
attractive female face is often only a large cheque away.

Sex
reassignment surgery is usually the last item on the surgery
list. The development and subsequent maintenance of a
vagina suited to accommodating a penis can be a surprisingly low
priority - for older women in particular there seems to be a
divergence between stated intentions when first seeking surgery,
and the reality when speaking to the surgeon just before having
the procedure. A reasonable speculation is that some
transwomen prefer having a natural looking vulva area or a
sensitive clitoris over good vaginal depth, for sexual reasons
that include lesbianism and masturbation.

Jennifer
transitioned at 21 and had SRS at the relatively young age of
30. Now 39, she is still seeking Mr Right.

Sexual Activity

There can certainly be no doubt about the very female
heterosexual orientation and libido of many young (under 30)
transwomen - before and after surgery. An intense desire
to be f*cked as a woman by a man is common, one young transgirl
describes her SRS at 18 and early sexual experiences:

"I didn't
need the operation to feel like a girl because I already felt
like one. I had the operation so I could have sex like other
women. ... So I could have more [vaginal depth and]
orgasms I paid [an] extra £1,000. I was in hospital for
three weeks and two weeks after I came out, I was ready for a
test run. I went to a disco with the sole intention of picking
up a man for sex. I looked for one who was trendy and
attractive. I didn't want a virgin or someone who'd be glad of
anything he could get! When I'd found the perfect
guy, he took me home and wanted to light candles but I made him
do it with all the lights on. I had to make sure that it
not only felt OK but looked OK. I have a faint scar on my
tummy and I've been told it would take a gynaecologist to tell
the difference, but I had to find out. Afterwards, he
asked for my phone number but I gave him a false one because he
was just an experiment. I had a few more experiments after
that and remember being complimented on my wonderful muscle
control."

Chelsey and friend

Many young girls undoubtedly make up for lost time after their
surgery. For example:

Caroline Cossey
(of 'Tula' fame) admits that after her SRS at age 21, she
"went a little wild ... I felt I needed to experiment
and experience a number of relationships. None of the
men I slept with had any idea of my past".

'A' had SRS at age 17, she claims that over
the next four years she had sex with "... at least 500 men.
I'm just a woman with needs and all these men have satisfied
my sexual desires".

'M' had SRS at age 21. She then had
sexual relationships with over forty different men in less
than a year before "settling down" with just three
boyfriends - two of whom were married.

'J' had SRS at age 25, three year later she
said "I must have slept with about thousands of men... I do
it most nights".

When the boyfriend of 'T' learnt that she
had had SRS at 19, his only comment was about her insatiable
demand for sex. She admitted "I want sex [with men] all the
time - you could say I'm a bit of a sex maniac."

Lauren - presumably in a staged photo

'A' had SRS in her early 20's. Her
hobbies are now "horses, sex and men".

Chelsey
had SRS when age 22 and admits to being "man mad ... I cater
for men!"

British "C" list celebrity
Lauren Harries had SRS in 2001, age 21. Her very
active sex life since then apparently includes
Russell Brand.

There is a lot of unfortunate debate about the sexuality and
reasons why older transwomen seek SRS, but regardless of this
some undoubtedly have a very active and happy sex life as women:

Thirty-something
Anne spent the first anniversary of her SRS on holiday in
Ibiza, "getting f**ked by as many young men as possible"

Crystal
Warren (pictured right) confessed on British TV in February 2012
to having a sex addition and claimed to slept with more than a
thousand men, it later emerged that the then 42 year-old had had
a sex change operation in 2005.

But these women are all passable and had SRS by age 35 at the
most. It cannot be ignored that some post-SRS transsexual
women who desperately desire and seek sex with men as a woman
find that their mature age and poor passability means that such
occurrences are rare - and associated depression and
disillusionment is probably not unusual.

There are also many transwomen who consider themselves as to be
heterosexual, but in practice have little interest in the actual
sex. For example, Samantha Kane (who had SRS at age 37)
concluded after five boyfriends that sex as a woman was rather
boring - indeed far less interesting than the preliminaries to a
big night out such as a shopping trip. There's no doubt
that quite a few genetic women would agree with her!

Fabiola Nogueria was famous as shemale porn star (top).
The money she made was spent on SRS and other surgery.
With a new name and radically changed appearance she
became a high class female escort, many clients had no
inclination of her past.

The Lure of Money

The sexual image of transsexual women has been
distorted by the prevalence of pre-SRS 'shemales' working as
prostitutes, with functional penis's. This has become a
huge world-wide industry, and very lucrative for the girls and
minders involved. Even excluding Asian and South American
girls, empirical evidence indicates that a third to a half of
all young pre-operative transsexuals have accepted money for
sex. Large numbers of transwomen are being embarrassed
when unexpectedly faced with photo's and other evidence taken
from porn sites years earlier.

Whilst trying to ignore the controversy about
Professor Bailey's idea's, it does seems
that there are two categories of girls involved - those that
never eventually have SRS, and those that do. For the
later, prostitution is often an unfortunate but quick way to
save the money needed for surgery, e.g. Cristini Notta said "My
penis paid for my vagina".

For post-op shemales, most seem to subscribe to
the mantra that "Men penetrate and women are penetrated".
The alternatives such as a strap-on penis raise serious
questions as to why they had the surgery.

The
sexually complicated lives that many pre-SRS transsexuals
lead is not funny for the participants - on occasions the
man's discovery and disappointment about their companions
genitalia has been deadly.

Getting Mental

Medical science still hasn't
really explained what causes sexual arousal, but for women
(including transsexual women) there seems to be a more
substantial and important 'mental' element than men.

During foreplay and love making, women are more likely to
imagine that they are making love to an out-of-reach object of
desire (film star, pop star, etc) than men. Perhaps less
comfortably, many girls also have private fantasies involving
sadomasochism, sexual harassment, assault and rape, which they
use as stimulation during masturbation. According to Dr
Alfred Kinsey, 2% of women can reach orgasm from fantasising
alone!

Erotic fantasies are a normal and healthy fact
of life for women and transwomen, a few are even able to bring
themselves to orgasm though imagination alone, without any
physical stimulation - something very rare in men.

For quite a few heterosexual transwomen, the
mere act of vaginal penetration by a man causes extreme mental
excitement which quickly leads to an orgasm, i.e. very little
actual physical stimulation is required. On the other
side, for a lesbian transwomen a mass orgy with the
Chippendales
studs might be a waste of lubricant, but holding hands with a
girlfriend in public could be totally thrilling.

The Sexual Cycle in a post-SRS Transsexual Woman.

Excitement:As the woman
becomes aroused, blood starts to accumulate in the pelvic area.
Vaginal lubrication begins - this will generally be closer to
genetic female norms the longer since surgery. (The
presence of lubrication does not necessarily mean that a woman
is ready for intercourse. And it's certainly no indication
of being close to an orgasm! Penetration is much more
pleasurable if other forms of stimulation are continued for a
while longer.) As sexual
stimulation continues, the outer lips, inner lips, and sometimes
the breasts begin to look swollen or enlarged.
The clitoris also enlarges - to an embarrassing degree in a few
transwomen (this is very difficult for surgeons to get right).

Plateau:
During this phase, the vaginal lips become even puffier. The
tissues of the walls of the neovagina swell with blood and the
opening to the vagina narrows. Breathing and pulse rate
quicken. A "sex flush" may appear on the stomach, breasts,
shoulders, neck, or face. The areolas of the nipples may
swell, even on small breasts. Many of the woman's muscles
- thighs, hips, hands, and buttocks - may tighten.

Orgasm: The woman's breathing, pulse
rate, and blood pressure continue to rise. The mounting
muscular tension and engorgement of blood vessels reaches a
peak. Orgasm occurs. Sometimes the orgasm comes with a reflex
grasping-type muscular response of the hands and feet.
Some women feel a warmth emanating from their genital area.
Since orgasm is most often triggered by clitoral stimulation or
deep penile penetrations (dependent upon the individual and the
surgical technique used for her SRS), the excitement usually
stops if the stimulation stops. An incomplete release can
be very frustrating! Consistent and continuous
stimulation in the particular way each woman wants it is usually
required to bring a woman to orgasm.

Resolution: This is when the genitals return to their
normal resting state. This phase can last from a few
minutes to a half hour or longer. Swelling recedes, any
sex flush will disappear, and there is a general relaxation of
muscular tension. The clitoris returns to its usual size
and position. Some women experience soreness in their
genitals for a while after orgasm.

Sexual Desire and EnjoymentAs ever studies
are rare, but the limited available evidence suggests that
transsexual women generally resemble genetic females rather than
males in their patterns of sexual activity and associated
temperamental traits. On average, when compared with
genetic women, transsexual women:

Have
a similar degree and frequency of sexual desire.

Are
just as sensitive and temperamental, and similarly easy
(really!) to sexually excite.

Have
their sexual desires and needs satisfied almost as much as other
women, but less than men.

Have
significantly more erotic fantasies, dreams and daydreams.

Are
as likely to adopt a female sexual position during intercourse.

Are
less likely to experience orgasms than other women during
intercourse.

Are
less likely to enjoy non-orgasmic sexual sensations during
intercourse.

The
limitations of even the most aesthetically successful
sex-reassignment surgery seems likely to account for the last
two points. There is also no doubt that like other women, the
libido and sexual enjoyment of transsexual women can vary from
negligible to intense, whether or not they are classified as
lesbian, bisexual or heterosexual.

After surgery many (but certainly not all!)
post-SRS transwomen have a relatively low libido, and often an
unwanted bias towards their anus rather than vaginal areas for
physical sexual stimulus and enjoyment.

To simulate libido and vaginal excitement, the
best answer is determined daily masturbation (up to 30 minutes
or orgasm) using aids such as pornography and vibrators.
If libido remains very low, taking small doses of testosterone
can help - whilst considered to be a 'male' hormone, post-SRS
transwomen often have lower blood levels of testosterone than
genetic women.

During
sex with a man, the transwomen suffers slightly from the fact
that her pelvis has a slightly different structure from a
genetic woman - preventing or making painful some common sexual
positions. Also, unless the surgery has been of
exceptional quality, she will have less clitoral stimulation
that the average genetic woman, and the traditional 'missionary'
position will have very little physical stimulus. The
'girl on top' approach is most likely to lead to enjoyment and
orgasm - this allows her to find the optimum angle for vaginal
penetration, permits stimulation of the clitoris area, and
allows for mutually enjoyable kissing and fondling of the
breasts.

Physiology,
Age and Sexual ActivityThe mere mentioning of "age" opens a can of worms which many
transsexual women prefer to ignore - but it's also difficult to
ignore that fact that there's a complex relationship between
age, sex, and libido.

For
genetic women the reality is that their fertility peaks in their
late teens when they have an 80+% chance of getting pregnant in
any 12 month period if regularly having unprotected sex.
It's no coincidence that women are (putting all correctness
aside) at their most
beautiful and attractive to men when in
their teens - and that their bodies are urging them to find an
attractive mate for sex and trap a high calibre partner to look
after them (i.e. not necessarily the same man). Female
fertility thereafter starts to decline, dramatically so from age
35 - more than one-in-three women are technically infertile by
45 and the most of the rest rapidly follow, despite a few highly
publicised exceptions.

The
fertility of men (based in sperm count) probably starts to
decline even before women but the average man is actually older
than the average women when they have their first acknowledged
child. Also the fertility of 35+ men declines more slowly than
women, and many men remain technically fertile in to their 50
and even 60's.

Thanks to lucky genetics, female hormones and excellent
surgery - a few young transwomen are physically close to
the female ideal and their sexual
opportunities are almost unlimited.

The libido of women seems to decline slower than their
fertility, but still faster than men - particularly if 45+ and
in a long term relationship where the availability of sexual
opportunities doesn't make the heart grow fonder. In
recent years there has been a lot of media coverage about
well-heeled 40-something single female's seeking 'toy boys', but
a much larger number of mature men are 'sugar daddies' for far
younger women.

As
far as I can make out there has been no research that correlates
the libido and sexual activity of genetic women with post-SRS
transsexual women an age related basis. In the UK the
typical MTF transsexual has SRS surgery when age 35 to 45 - this
creates considerable possibilities as regards both the level of
their libido and actual sexual activity a year or two before and
after surgery. I have my own suspicions - for example that
a 20-year old MTF transwomen has a below female mean level of
actual sexual activity before hormones & surgery, but an average
or even slightly higher one afterwards. I look
forward to some comments.