We all lead busy lives, working, driving our kids to school, shopping.

It’s easy to think that to “Pay it Forward” we need to add more things to our lives, like opening a door for someone, letting someone cut in front of us while driving, letting someone in front of us when they have only a few items at the checkout.

But Pay it Forward has two notions built in to it that are pretty unique.

Firstly Pay it Forward is not just an act of kindness. Pay it Forward recognises that the person who benefits from the act of kindness is quite capable to pay that kind act forward to someone else. It recognises that the homeless person we gave food to is able to give something of value to another person as a pay it forward. In fact it’s clear from most research that the poor are often more generous with what they have than the rich are.

Secondly it’s not just about doing more things. Letting someone out in front of us when driving is an act of doing less, not more. It’s not an act at all, it is just not pushing on because we have the right of way. Waiting and holding open that door for someone several paces behind you is another act of not acting. You wait, doing nothing, rather than push on into your life.

Not doing is something that people who meditate or practice mindfulness understand very well. The more ‘still’ you are the more you see the opportunities to benefit another. That’s because your mind is usually working hard to get you through that to-do list you have and sees everything going on around only as potential obstacles.

So Pay it Forward can help bring happiness to all of us from two directions. It’s fine of course to add good deeds to your to do list. We all benefit. And for those who are concentrating on increasing their own happiness through mindful behaviour, they too as a result.