Squee! At long last. I just can't wait to hear about the not-so-top-secret palace preparations, the "mommy" weight Kate is ever so cheerfully gaining, and the "baby name that shocked the Queen." Durr, are they naming the wee babe after her newly deceased corgi, Monty?

And by the way, Star Magazine, how do you know Kate's pregnant?

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Here is the evidence of Kate' pregnancy: A photo of the back of her dress showing clear evidence that the waist has been let out an inch. See it there? Scroll down to the pic of Kate in the pink dress, the inset photo with the big arrow pointing to that ribbon waistband with the weird stitching? That's the proof! That. Is. Your. Proof.

(Sound of air hissing out of helium balloons)

Honestly, you guys got me out of bed for this? Kate might let out the waist of her dress for any number of reasons -- like maybe she's trying to put on weight so people will stop accusing her of skinniness. Or maybe that's actually evidence that she got the waist taken in even more. Or maybe it's just clumsy stitching! We don't know.

I feel so let down! And I was just about to set up the Will and Kate Baby-Naming Office Pool, too. Dangit. I'm gonna need more proof than this. C'mon Star Magazine, is that all you've got? Not even an image of Kate with a curious stomach-area shadow that looks like a baby bump? A story about her refusing to eat sushi? Video of Kate pretending to sip champagne? ANYTHING AT ALL THAT LOOKS LIKE ACTUAL, RELIABLE EVIDENCE?

No? Fine. Back to Kate Middleton Pregnancy Watch 2012, where a young woman's every tailoring detail is scrutinized by obsessed lunatics hoping to scoop the story of the centurydecadeyear moment.

Do you think this is really evidence that Kate is pregnant or is it just more silly hype?