Rest Your Case, Dude!

This clip from Anderson Cooper Is Mr. 360 in which an optometrist buggggs the ffffff ooouuuut is a couple weeks old, but I never saw it before (no myopo) and it doesn’t matter how old it is because it was an instant classic the day it was born.

Hahahahaha. This guy seriously should have rested his case. Obviously, when you are being accused of fraud, there is no better way to prove that you are an innocent, respectable, and, most importantly, VERY SANE business man than beating up an old man in front of a camera crew, leaving voicemails about witnessing the power of God, and screaming “STOP LOOKING AT MY STORE” while throwing snowballs in everyone’s face. It’s an air tight legal strategy, which is why you see it in most episodes of Law & Order (watch yourself, McCoy!). But as everyone knows, it doesn’t count in a court of law until you say “Your honor, I rest my case,” which is where this guy got into trouble. Total loophole. SUSTAINED! (Via Joe Mande.)

C’mon. this is obviously fake. If this supposed situation actually occurred in Canada, there would be no “cops,” there would be Mounties. They would have been dressed in their terrible red jackets with their terrible hats and the “SWAT” team would have consisted of a guy with a hockey mask and guy with a log trying to break down the door.

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