Reviews of books, musing about writing, living with bipolar and much more...

Thursday, 26 September 2013

The Elusive Excluded Middle My Bipolar Dilemma

The Bookshop Guru

I find comedy a good remedy to
help release those endorphins and would always be trying hard to find the excluded
middle for I knew that this state of mind offered the safest route to
a happier life. Whatever I did it was always in the back of my mind – to try
and find the middle ground. This course of action wasn't easy because of the
way bipolar affects how you behave, not always allowing you to exist in the
middle apart from the extremes of the disorder. I had the tendency to start
something new and then allowing that to take over my life. Finding equilibrium
where I could do something without it overtaking everything else was a battle,
but one which I knew I had to fight. It wasn't until I started to reflect on
this, that I could see how this behaviour of extremes was affecting me. I knew
that if I could find the excluded middle and stay there as much as possible
then my life would be far happier and more productive. Being a manic depressive
even I can see the funny side of life. Believe me it helps to laugh even at
ourselves.

The more I
looked at my actions the more I could recognise I was avoiding the
middle ground. I found that having bipolar made me impulsive and unaware that
the extremes of behaviour were not allowing me to pursue interests in a normal
way. I would sometimes spend months pursuing one particular interest with a
complete disregard to any other interests. This was a compulsive behaviour
disorder brought about by bipolar. My compulsion was also destructive because
after many months of interest in something I would suddenly stop doing it
completely without finding some middle ground where I could at least still
continue if only on an occasional basis. This state of play was hard to find. I
would always start some new interest which would last several weeks or many
months before I would stop completely. There was no middle ground for me. As I
came to reflect on this behaviour, I realised I needed to find the excluded
middle. It wouldn't be easy because in the past all my actions were in this
part of the spectrum. But my thoughts were of finding some way of having
interests and hobbies which I could pursue without it leading in a compulsive
way. Somehow I knew I had to find the middle ground, my excluded middle.

Learning to
curb my excessive actions that would lead to the extreme would
give me a sounder basis for a happier life. I would spend many hours thinking
about what I could do to change the way I was currently living my life. Even
with the appropriate medication and enough exercise and sleep, I still found it
hard to find the elusive excluded middle. I constantly strove to find a way to
counteract the extremes that were driving my life which would ultimately lead
to a deep dark depression or unsustainable high. I would start some new
interest only for that to go the same way into a compulsion this is my bipolar
dilemma. In my latest book “It’s
Never Too Late” I discuss how love, money, and luck have thrown
many curve balls at the roller-coaster ride of living with bipolar yet often
provide many opportunities previously unseen.

In my latest book“It’s Never Too Late”read how dreams do come true, but be careful what you wish for. Understand the secret of greed and you will attain one of the secrets of prosperity. The book will also take you on a journey and explores love, money, luck, and much more.