Monday Watch List: Bernie’s Madoff’s Runoff!

Receive the latest popcornbiz updates in your inbox

Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and pack your bags for the Royal Wedding. Knickers? Check. Jumper? Check. Knickerjumpers? Check. Will & Kate commemorative potato dolls? Check. LET’S GO!

SEIZED AND SOLD: THE MADOFF AUCTION – 10:00PM (ABC) Want to see all the useless stuff that Bernie Madoff bought with your granny’s retirement money? I bet you do. Turns out the Ponzi schemer got himself all kinds of fun trinkets, including a $350,000 diamond ring. And tonight, NatGeo will show you all of it as it goes up for auction. The auction proceeds will go to benefit victims of Madoff’s crimes. But, of course, these items have been so devalued that it will be virtually impossible to recoup even a fraction of what investors lost. It’s just one more innovative way that Madoff screwed people. You have to admire his creativity. ANTICIPATION: SCUMBAG!

STONEWALL UPRISING – 9:00PM (PBS) Learn all about the 1969 police raid of the New York City gay bar that sparked numerous protests and gave birth to the gay rights movement. You don’t mess with a man’s bar. That will get the thunder brought down on you. ANTICIPATION: HISTORY!

WILD ABOUT PRINCE HARRY – 10:00PM (TLC) With the Royal Wedding just a few days away, you’d think the networks would be awash in new William & Kate programming tonight. But you are WRONG. The only new Royal Wedding program on tonight is that little TLC special dedicated to the very eligible Prince Harry. I think TV execs may have crested too early with this Royal Wedding business. It’s a common mistake among fans of inane gatherings. ANTICIPATION: WEDDINGY!

DANCING WITH THE STARS – 8:00PM (ABC) All your dance numbers tonight will be set to famous guilty pleasures, which is just so fitting for this particular show. To hammer the theme home, Hanson will be on hand to perform “Mmmbop” live. Not kidding. ANTICIPATION: 1997ISH!