Wee Wimmin’s Worries.

Over the past few days I was far too busy thinking and you know some thing…

I came up with answers to a few major Problems!

As we wee wimmin grow older mature like good wine, several things happen to us and we keep blaming ourselves when they are not really our fault!

We wake up each morning with our hair standing on end and a hole in the middle of it. This is due to the fact our brains have collected so much knowledge down the years that our heads grow heavier. when we lie down, the hair is flattened to spread like sun-rays on the pillow.

And another problem…

As we mature, we grow down a little. First gravity squeezes the bits between the bones of the spine making them shrink. 🙁

Add to that, if there is any space left, that we are carrying around an amazing amount of information:

To-do lists, ideas of how to get our husbands to think they ‘want’ to help us with the chores, the garden and the car!

Then there are all the wurds for scrabble that we learned in the bukes we read.

The gossipy news to share with our hubbies… and the information we need to remember NOT to tell them… like the new handbag, gloves, scarf that we snuck into the back of the wardrobe, never mind the new boots we have our eye on to buy next week! 😉

Let me explain…

When the bits between the bones shrink there is less vertical space for all the ‘soft’ bits to sit neatly in place. Then a heavy head acts like an elephant sitting on a jam do-nut…. the soft bits flatten and spread horizontally!

I have always been built more for comfort than speed; think armchair rather than bar stool. Now that I am of an impressive vintage, speed seems increasingly pointless, and in any case, I am under orders not to get skinny because the Husband would find me less comfy to fall asleep on!

Kate, I am laughing and thinking of one weekend not long after we married, Jack informed my mother and all around the dinner table, that going to bed with me was like going to bed with a clothes horse… and that he had the bruises to prove it! He was talking about an old fashioned wooden clothes airer, just like the one his mother had!

I’m anything but a cuddly cushion. I’m thin and bony and Jenny constantly complains I’m not comfy enough when she’s snuggling up to me. And when I wake in the morning, I don’t find my hair standing on end, I just think “I could do with a nice cup of tea”.