A Flashy, Positively Ghastly Spectacle

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Hatmaker Philip Treacy at work

By

Tina Gaudoin

June 10, 2011

I don't mean to be sneery, but when was the last time you saw someone well-dressed at Royal Ascot or, indeed, at any horse-racing event?

Yes, yes, I did see the pictures of the DOC (Duchess of Cambridge) at Epsom, or at least someone who resembled Kate Middleton as she was before she entered the time machine that is marrying into the royal family. Can one age 20 years in six weeks? Well, she patently has. But then that's the fashion strictures of the sport of kings for you. What can you do when you are forced into an environment where your heels sink into the turf, the wind whips around your ankles and up into your petticoats, and there's a silly rule about the wearing of headgear?

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Sophia Loren at 1966 Ascot
Universal 1966

Of course, I am aware that we are entering the neo-Sloane age. A world where sartorialism, like feminism, has been assigned to the slag heap of academia and independent thought. A world where the concept of fashion has little meaning or merit and the snap of a conservatively, nay, boringly dressed group of young royals having a good time at an exclusive event is opiate to the tabloid-reading masses.

If I sound disenchanted with the frenzy that surrounds the social season, that's because I am. Let's not pretend that Ascot has anything to do with fashion, or that Ladies Day (the Thursday) has anything to do with "the ladies"—other than offering them the distraction of dressing up and looking faintly, or overtly, ridiculous while their men folk have a flutter and get plastered.

More on Ascot

The Royal Enclosure rules (no off-the-shoulder dresses, halter necks, spaghetti straps or shoulder straps of less than half an inch; no mini skirts; no midriff baring; and full-length trouser suits only in matching color) are blatantly biased in favor of males

Given the choice between wearing a morning suit and a silly flouncy dress, a hat and some heels (a woman in a hat and flats is generally a member of the armed services or a traffic warden), which would you choose? If I am ever strong-armed into attending again, I shall have to hope that Gucci makes tails in my size.

Once upon a time, horse racing called for chic understatement or overt, all-out glamour (see the Edwardians and Sophia Loren, respectively). These days, it appears to be an excuse for a right royal p— up and the chance to wear preposterous hats. I'm not being snobbish here, because the principle applies to everyone (see the DOC).

Milliner of the decade Philip Treacy makes the point that his hats do not appear much at Ascot because "they are all worn in the boxes." This is a clever way of stating the obvious, but its also true. The hats and outfits seen most often at Ascot are those put together by "day trippers" who compete to "outlandish" each other. Nonetheless, where wearing a hat is concerned, no matter where you are from, you have either got it or you haven't.

Obviously, Her Majesty has "it"—principally because as one of the most photographed women in the world (think about it, are there any other contenders?), she has consistently sported a hat and is quite often fairly outlandish herself—by her standards anyway—at Ascot.

Treacy and I are united in our disapproval of the cheap fascinator at any time, particularly during social occasions. "I started that gig many years ago now," he says, "but now they have become three limp feathers and a tacky flower on the High Street."

Treacy has been the last word in hat making since graduating from the Royal College of Art in 1990, thanks to initial "sponsors" like the late, great Isabella Blow, Madonna and, more latterly, Lady Gaga. But since the Royal Wedding he says he has been unable to keep up with demand both here and in the U.S.

Certainly his is the name on everyone's lips when the Royal Enclosure is mentioned. I wonder whether it has anything to do with "that hat"—the one worn by Princess Beatrice and cleverly auctioned by her for the charity Unicef for £81,100.01? Treacy, who has also made hats for Victoria Beckham, the Duchess of Cornwall and Tara Palmer Tomkinson, laughs. "The auction was all her idea," he says. "I thought she looked great. Has anyone taken a look at the 140,000 bloggers who complained about her?" We agree that the whole point of a hat (as exemplified by Princess Beatrice) is to look both confident and as though one is enjoying wearing it.

Great hat wearers include the aforementioned fashion icons and pop stars, the late Princess of Wales, Anna Piaggi from Italian Vogue, Reese Witherspoon as Becky Sharp from "Vanity Fair," Audrey Hepburn from "My Fair Lady" and HM QEII. Crucially, though, where hat wearing is concerned, one should take note of social convention and wear one when all about you will almost certainly be doing the same. "Could the prime minister's wife not find one hat in the United Kingdom that would have worked?" rues Treacy, of Samantha Cameron's appearance at the Royal Wedding.

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Catherine Duchess of Cambridge and Prince William at the Derby 2011.
Tim Rooke / Rex Features

As you might expect, Treacy has opinions about the purchase of hats for Ascot. "The hat is a symbol of Englishness," he says. "It's an expression of individuality and, as such, one should choose a hat that one feels good about. It need not be eccentric; the look could be subtle." These days, of course, it would be frightfully backward looking to match your hat to your clothes: "Not matching is the new matching," says Treacy, who concedes that this can offer quite a challenge for the shopper.

My advice, for what it's worth (and Treacy's is certainly worth a lot more), is to spend as much as you can possibly manage on your hat, simply because hat making is an intricate art and, when you are wearing something that is the artistic equivalent of an Athena poster rather than an Impressionist masterpiece, people notice. "You'd pay £1,000 a day for a plumber, wouldn't you?" asks Treacy in defense of the high prices, proclaiming that his hats start at £250 and can, since the Princess Beatrice eBay auction, rise to £81,000.

Other milliners creating great noteworthy hats include the wonderful Stephen Jones, Cozmo Jenks and newer to the scene Victoria Grant. If you can't get to a store, I thoroughly recommend Net-a-Porter. They don't have a million hats, but in a very pragmatic, edited way, they offer hats for every occasion (see Lanvin for Ascot).

So long as you have acquitted yourself to the best of your ability where price and style are concerned and the colors of your hat don't clash with your outfit, you can consider yourself "fashionable."

A friend who is attending the wedding of Prince Albert II of Monaco to Charlene Wittstock recently recounted finding the perfect hat for the occasion in London store Fenwick's hat department (a location I would certainly recommend for hat buying). My friend, who is definitely on the sensible and pragmatic side of sartorial, described how upon hearing the price, she exclaimed roundly: "£600 and the most expensive hat in the shop!" And then she pulled herself together. "I just had to have it," she said. "One knows when something is just right."

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