Dateline New York City, Sept. 7, 2016, by the Coconut News Network (CNNkuno), the home for reports that are not necessarily real news.

A Satire by Goliath Letterman (not related to David Letterman)

Many people are saying that there are at least 10 reasons why Donald Trump refuses to release his income-tax returns:

1.0 He is no longer an American billionaire, as his companies are bankrupt again.

2.0 He has given zero, nada, zip to charitable organizations and even to the Trump Foundation.

3.0 But he has made six-figure donations to the Clinton Foundation.

4.0 He has paid zero, nada, zip in U.S. federal and state taxes.

5.0 But he has paid thousands of dollars to foreign governments as interest-income taxes on his offshore accounts.

6.0 He has incurred huge medical bills, especially to teams of psychiatrists.

7.0 He has made huge settlement payments to women who were allegedly his victims as the white-man's version of Bill Cosby.

8.0 He has multimillion-dollar loans from Chinese, Russian and other foreign lenders.

9.0 He does not want to pay taxes on his foreign income, as he is now a permanent resident of Russia. And ...

10.0 He is actually paying spousal support for four wives, as allowed by his Muslim faith.

CAUTION.Editor's Note: The views and opinions gathered by Goliath Letterman from his interviews with unnamed individuals do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of this online publication's editors and staff members. # # #