114158: Issues and rulings on kunyahs

In our community in India, little girls are given kunyahs such as Umm Haani’ and Umm Salamah. Is this acceptable?

Praise be to Allah.

Firstly:

It is a good thing
for the Muslim to be concerned about Islamic rulings, even concerning the
smallest of details. Even more important than being concerned about them is
to act upon what ones knows of those rulings. With regard to kunyahs there
are some issues that are worth pointing out, after which we will answer the
question itself, with further details.

1.

The kunyah is a
name that beings with “Abu (Father of)” or “Umm (Mother of)”; it is
something other than a personal name or a nickname.

2.

The kunyah is
something with which a person is praised and honoured, unlike nicknames
which may have connotations of praise or otherwise.

3.

Evildoers,
disbelievers and innovators may be referred to by kunyahs if they are only
known by their kunyahs, or if that is done for a purpose, or if their names
contain meanings that are contrary to Islam.

Allah, may He be
exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): “Perish the two hands of
Abu Lahab (an uncle of the Prophet), and perish he!” [al-Masad 111:1].

An-Nawawi (may
Allah have mercy on him) said: Chapter on the permissibility of giving a
kunyah to a disbeliever, innovator or evildoer, if he is only known by that
name or there is the fear that mentioning his real name may cause confusion.
Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): “Perish
the two hands of Abu Lahab (an uncle of the Prophet), and perish he!”
[al-Masad 111:1], although his actual name was ‘Abd al-‘Uzza. It was
said that he was mentioned by his kunyah because he was known by it, or it
was said that this was so as to avoid using his name, as it described him as
a slave of an idol (al-‘Uzza).

I [Imam an-Nawawi
(may Allah have mercy on him) is speaking] say: Abu Taalib is repeatedly
mentioned in hadeeth by his kunyah, and his name was ‘Abd Manaaf. In
as-Saheeh it says: “This is the grave of Abu Righaal.” And there are
many similar examples. All of this applies if the condition that we have
mentioned above is met. If it is not met, nothing to the name should be
used.

End quote from
al-Adhkaar, p. 296

4.

The kunyah does
not necessarily have to include the name of one’s child; rather it may refer
to an inanimate object or an animal.

Examples of
kunyahs referring to inanimate objects include “Abu Turaab (i.e., the one
who has dust on him); examples of kunyahs referring to animals include “Abu
Hirr” or “Abu Hurayrah” (i.e., the one who has a cat or kitten,
respectively).

5.

Kunyahs referring
to names do not necessarily have to refer to one of the children of the
individual who is called by that kunyah.

For example, Abu
Bakr as-Siddeeq did not have a son whose name was Bakr.

6.

The kunyah does
not have to refer to the oldest child of the person who is called by that
kunyah, although that is preferable.

It was narrated
from Haani’ that when he came to the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace
of Allah be upon him) with his people, he heard them calling him by the
kunyah Abu’l-Hakam. The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him) summoned him and said: “Allaah is al-Hakam (the Judge), and
judgement belongs to Him. Why are you known by the kunyah of Abu’l-Hakam?”
He said: When my people differ concerning anything, they come to me and I
pass judgement among them, and both sides accept it. The Messenger of Allaah
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “How good this is. Do you
have any children? He said: I have Shurayh, Muslim and ‘Abd-Allaah. He said:
“Who is the oldest of them?” I said: Shurayh. He said: “Then you are Abu
Shurayh.”

The scholars of
the Standing Committee were asked: Is it permissible to call someone by
referring to his younger son, because the older son died in infancy?

They replied: It
is preferable to call a person by referring to his oldest son, whether he is
alive or dead, and to call him by that kunyah. But if a person is called by
referring to his youngest son, there is no sin on the one who does that,
whether the older son is alive or dead.

And Allah is the
source of strength. May Allah send blessings and peace upon our Prophet
Muhammad and his family and companions. End quote.

There is no reason
why the kunyah cannot refer to the daughters of the person who is called by
that kunyah.

An-Nawawi (may
Allah have mercy on him) said: Chapter on the permissibility of a man being
called by a kunyah referring to either a male or a female, or a woman being
called by a kunyah referring to a either a male or a female. It should noted
that there is no restriction in this matter. Some of the best of the
earliest generations of this ummah -- the Sahaabah and the Taabi‘een who
came after them -- were known by kunyahs referring to their daughters, such
as ‘Uthmaan ibn ‘Affaan (may Allah be pleased with him) who had three
kunyahs: Abu ‘Amr, Abu ‘Abdullah, and Abu Layla. There was also Abu’d-Darda’
and his wife Umm ad-Darda’ al-Kubra… End quote.

Al-Adhkaar,
p. 296

8.

The rulings
mentioned above apply equally to men and women.

9.

The person who has
a kunyah may be someone who does not have any children; this does not mean
that he cannot be called by a kunyah.

It was narrated
from ‘Aa’ishah that she said: O Messenger of Allah, all my friends have a
kunyah except me. He said: “Take a kunyah from the name of your son (nephew)
‘Abdullah ibn az-Zubayr.” So she was called Umm ‘Abdullah until she died.

Narrated by Ahmad,
43/291. Classed as saheeh by the editors of al-Musnad and by
al-Albaani in as-Silsilah as-Saheehah, 132.

10.

A man or a woman
may be given a kunyah after marriage and before having a child; there is
nothing wrong with that.

(a)

It was narrated
from ‘Abdullah ibn Mas‘ood (may Allah be pleased with him) that the
Messenger of Allah (sa) gave him the kunyah Abu ‘Abd ar-Rahmaan when he had
not had a child.

al-Bukhaari
narrated in al-Adab al-Mufrad, under the heading Chapter on giving a
kunyah before one has a child: It was narrated from Ibraaheem an-Nakha‘i
that ‘Abdullah ibn Mas‘ood was given the kunyah Abu Shibl when he did not
have a child.

Classed as saheeh
by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Adab al-Mufrad, 848.

11.

There is no
impediment to giving a child a kunyah, even before weaning or at the time of
birth, whether the child is male or female. The scholars mentioned several
benefits of giving a kunyah to a child, such as: strengthening his character
and avoiding bad nicknames; it is also a sign of optimism that he will live
to adulthood and have children of his own.

Giving kunyahs to
children is an established part of the Sunnah and was narrated from the
Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him).

It was narrated
that Anas ibn Maalik (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of
Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) was the best of people in
attitude. I had a brother who was called Abu ‘Umayr -- I think he was
weaned. When the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon
him) saw him he said: “Abu ‘Umayr, what happened to (your pet) bird?” He
used to play with the bird.

Narrated by
al-Bukhaari, 5850; Muslim, 2150.

Al-Bukhaari
included this hadeeth in a chapter entitled: Kunyahs for children, and
before a man has a child.

An-Nawawi (may
Allah have mercy on him) said: We learn many things from this hadeeth, such
as the permissibility of giving a kunyah to someone who has no children and
giving a kunyah to a child; it is not regarded as lying.

End quote from
Sharh Muslim 14/129

In al-Mawsoo‘ah
al-Fiqhiyyah (35/170, 171), it says: The scholars said: They used to
give kunyahs to children as a sign of optimism that the child would live
until he grew up and had a child, and so as to avoid nicknames.

Ibn ‘Aabideen
said: If a person gives his small child the kunyah of Abu Bakr and so on,
some of the scholars regarded that as makrooh, but the majority did not
regard it as makrooh, because people intend optimism by doing that.

End quote.

Thus the answer to
the question itself is that it is permissible to give appropriate kunyahs to
children, both male and female, even if they are still breastfeeding. If
they are given the kunyahs of some of the Sahaabah, male or female, this is
something good and is not objectionable.