Time to Update That D.A. Training Manual

Recent reports out of New York are indicating that working for the government not only makes you cheap, but if you’re anything like 28-year-old prosecutor Matthew Knouff, it may also turn you insane. Already on suspension after an arrest for throwing a brick through a restaurant window at his office Christmas party, Knouff, a prosecutor in the Brooklyn D.A.’s office, was fired last week after being arrested (again) for basically being an incredible jackass.

The trouble started when Knouff tried to stiff a cab driver on a ride home from Midtown to Brooklyn, “heatedly told the cabby he was a cop,” and then, when the real cops showed up, the “profanity-spewing Knouff” tried to bribe them to let him go. And what was the sum this smooth-talking junior lawyer offered each of the cops to look the other way? A sweet $50 apiece.

Lawyers following the story have acknowledged that it’s tough to be a “playa” on a government salary, but have nevertheless offered a few words of advice to the banished prosecutor: Next time you try to bribe a cop, offer at least a cool thousand. That way, when they arrest you, and everyone you know finds out about it, at least you’ll look like a generous idiot. [NY Post]