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Monthly Archives: September 2015

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, LET’S DO THE TIME-WARP AGAIN.
What a fantastic, FUNNY, SEXY, show, (who can resist a man in a basque, suspenders and stockings. It’s given me ideas for Ronald’s birthday which is approaching) with an AMAZING CAST who handled the very vocal heckling audience with aplomb.

At times the heckling was so funny the actors had to pause to compose themselves which all added to the enjoyment.

Oh what feelings ROCKY aroused in us ladies, he really was a ‘CHARLES ATLAS’ of a man in his tiny LEOPARD PRINT pants. I have never seen PRESS-UP STAR JUMPS before.

And how impressive is RICHARD O’BRIEN reprising his show after 43 years.

I am sorry to say that at the THEATRE we attended for the live performance had a very CONSERVATIVE audience and WE WERE the ONLY FOUR PEOPLE TO DRESS UP!

Not only that but most averted their eyes and ignored us, others looked but didn’t CRACK A SMILE. There was only one or two that acknowledged us and smiled.

I did enjoy getting my LADYBELLS out in my new DOLCE & GABBANA BRASSIERE and slipping on the FISHNETS SUSPENDERS and BIKER BOOTS. As you well know I am usually such a shy and retiring flower but I thought you might like a look.

My dear friend Gloria and I popped in to our village social club for a quick nightcap on returning home. We did cause a bit of a stir and then my dear friends Theresa and Bernard our fellow dresser-uppers turned up just to add to the amusement of the clientele.

All in all a fab night and if you get the chance GO AND SEE THE SHOW, you won’t be disappointed.

My dear ladies we all know that FANNY FARTS are a natural occurrence for us women. If we are honest they usually happen at embarrassing moments.

But I believe we should celebrate this phenomenon and discard the embarrassment. Let us be proud of our FANNY FARTS after all, men cannot do them.

So when you exit the lavatory to a waiting queue of ladies after a spectacular FANNY FART, take a bow.

When you are DOWNWARD DOGGING at Yoga and a FANNY FART rips through the chilled out class, be PROUD.

Be aware that horse-riding can result in multiple FANNY FARTS.

When you are in the GREENGROCERS standing on one leg stretched out and reaching up to that top shelf for a KIWI FRUIT and a FANNY FART escapes, turn and smile at the other shoppers, tossing your fruit in a nonchalant manner.

The man in your life will be delighted with the extra action, should one occur during intimate relations.

I must admit to enjoying a FANNY FART when I’m super excited because I’m in a new WOOL shop with gorgeous wools.

Remember ladies be proud of our bodies and their functions, never be embarrassed, embrace those FANNY FARTS!

Yours Noisily

Celia

p.s. Just to clarify for my dear ladies and occasional gentleman who reside in other countries, FANNY FARTS do not erupt from ladies bottoms.