Archives

Site Links

Sitting on the toilet is one of my all time favourite activities. Maybe that sentence needs another ‘h’ at the beginning, but let’s not get too graphic.

Sure there’s the whole disgusting business of why you’re there, but apart from that the toilet upside is outrageous. I adore toilets, and it’s all about what you can’t do.

You can’t do much work, because you’re away from your desk. You have an excuse not to use a phone, and in my experience people hear the echo and things get awkward. There’s also the danger of dropping the phone in the toilet. One of the single funniest things ever, when it happens to someone else.

I’d also advise against using a laptop, because having something that gets that hot close to your most sensitive bare parts sounds dangerous. Also, it’s a disgusting image.

The toilet is a sanctuary, where you’re hidden away and difficult to distract. How offended do you get if anyone attempts to speak to you while you’re in there? ‘Go away!’ you want to yell. ‘This is my time!’ I pity those in large households with only one toilet. Especially in the morning if you’re fifth in line

Technology means we’re more in touch than ever, but for me the toilet is a chance to escape. A magical space where I’m able to immerse myself in a book, or reflect on the difficulties of the day. ‘Is it rude to ask my disabled friend to lie, to get me out of a parking fine?’ ‘Who picks up the mess after a guide dog goes to the toilet?’ ‘Because I don’t like black jellybeans, am I a little bit racist?’

Now when you’re busting and can’t find a toilet, well it can ruin your day. If it’s a real emergency, it might ruin your career, or relationship. Worldwide there are 2.6 billion people who don’t have access to proper, clean sanitation. So that struggle is their life, and there are a host of health, emotional and psychological consequences.