While I Was Out

The job offer came the same day the news broke that the Fluvanna County School Board voted to cut school funding by more than $2 million.That made the difficult decision to move a little easier.

Still, it’s hard to say goodbye to such a beautiful place that’s been our home for 10 years. Route 53, with all its curves and hills, intimidated me when we first arrived here from Northern Virginia. Now, cruising past Jefferson Vineyards and Thomas Jefferson’s Monticello relaxes me and brings back fond memories. Changing my radio stations in the car will be rough: listening to NPR and my radio friends at 3WV, The Corner, Lite Rock Z95 and News Radio 1070 WINA made my commute enlightening and entertaining.

Based on unscientific data, the number of complaints in Central Virginia is rising. By my guesstimates, approximately 1,000,000,000%.

In addition to the usual complainers taking their rants to the next level (posting long essays on Facebook, monologuing in response to the question, “How are you?”), more amateurs are joining the kvetching chorus.

The Voice of Reason never whispered in my ear once that morning. Not even a simple, “Hey, maybe you want to research this first?” Perhaps because the Voice of Vanity kept drowning Reason out with her cooing, “Do it! You’ll both look soooooo cute!”

And that’s how I found myself perched in the middle of a kiosk at the mall with Daughter on my lap waiting for two women to punch holes in our heads.

There are days when I remember to take Eleanor Roosevelt’s advice and do one thing that scares me. The First Lady said to do this every day. I can’t and won’t do that because most of the things that frighten me are illegal, life–threatening, oogie or pointless, such as:

Visiting serial killers in prison.

Jumping into the shark tank at Sea World.

Taking up ghost hunting as a hobby.

Reading the fine print.

A few months ago, I attempted to do what I consider to be a very scary thing: Back–parking into a space at the downtown mall garage.

Everything about the annual Stars and Stripes basketball competition between the Central Elementary parents (Stripes) and the teachers (Stars) March 16 was hot and wild: Kids danced the cha-cha, the players turned up the heat with crazy antics on the court, and the school nurse kissed a pig.