Ed Grubermann:How about if the thought of eating eggs makes you want to hurl? The only way I can stand eggs is scrambled and buried under a mountain of ketchup after being flat-broke and living off of nothing but Quaker Oats and sugar for a month.

According to the Daily Mail's rigorous scientific analysis, that means that you are a genocidal psychopath with horrid personal hygiene and tendencies toward animal necrophilia.

What if you like them different ways on different days? If I have cheesy grits, I'll top 'em with a poached egg. Other times I will use leftover meat and veggies and make a breakfast scramble. Sometimes I'll make huevos rancheros. (Fried eggs in a cooked red salsa and corn tortillas). Does this mean I'm an outgoing but guarded sex fiend or that I just like variety in my egg bearing breakfast foods?