Thursday, August 27, 2009

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

So I'm on my way out of a retail establishment that has one door. As I approach the lone door, it opens, and several people start entering the store (these fools would have won The Daily Asshole award too- see my previous post on doorway prioritizing...). So I turn aside to let them pass into the store (I don't really have much choice as there's nowhere else for me to go). My turning aside was apparantly seen by the dripping bung pipe behind me as "his opening"...so he made his move- squeezing past me and shoving his way out the door ahead of me. Now if this douche puddle would have run to the curb and started vomiting, all would have been fine, and his behavior would have been understood and accepted. But no- this living bowel movement just kept on down the sidewalk. So I hit him with a brick, and ran like hell.

Religious police in Saudi Arabia are cracking down on summer festivals and circuses intended by the government to boost domestic tourism, because they violate strict religious restrictions on singing, dancing, the mixing of unrelated men and women, and "evil" circus performances, [Al-]Reuters reported.

Conservative clerics backed by powerful members of the Saudi royal family oppose the efforts to liberalize the world's biggest oil exporter. Circus acts such as fire-eating and lying on a bed of glass are seen as forms of magic outlawed by sharia law.

"These acts contradict the faith and must not be done, taught, spread or encouraged," Reuters quoted religious police spokesman Abdullah al-Mashiti. "They must be fought and those performing them must be reported and punished so as to be deterred and their evil restricted."

The article goes on to state: "Saudi religious police have the power to enforce Sharia law, segregating men and women ". Cause you know what the most evil, vile, satanic thing of all would be if -shudder- men & women sat TOGETHER in a circus tent... there may be tents pitched that don't belong to the circus.

Monday, August 17, 2009

On August 17th, 2009 at 10:23 am, malkin_fan said:I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed.. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food.But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue.Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table…everywhere.Then some of the birds turned mean. They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket. And others birds were boisterous and loud: They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food. After a while, I couldn’t even sit on my own back porch anymore.I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio. Soon, the back yard was like it used to be…quite, serene and no one demanding their rights to a free meal.Now lets see…our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, free education and allows anyone born here to be a automatic citizen.Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services. Small apartments are housing 5 families. You have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor. Your child’s 2nd grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn’t speak English. Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box. I have to press “one” to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than “Old Glory” are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties.Maybe it’s time for the government to take down the bird feeder.

Since there is NO WAY women can be dumb enough to NOT realize that white pants are SEE THROUGH in the sun light, I would like to thank all the nice-assed women out there for the free show. Thongs are a treat. Commando is a surprise. 300 pounds in white pants with a thong OR commando is an emetic.

but they don't fall down. At least, that's the way it was with the old toys. But dumb ass human weeblers, who wobble all over the sidewalk like drunks, will DEFINITELY fall down, when I punch them in their heads. Why do so many people seem to have trouble walking a simple straight line along the sidewalk? Maybe you should HANG UP AND WALK.

I'm not sure exactly what it is about the sight of men wearing leather loafers without socks that irks me. Maybe it's the knowledge of the God-Awful stench that rises up when those bareback piggies are peeled from the confines of the cowhide. Or just that there's something obnoxious and or pretentious about it (I only see it being done by rich white men). Or maybe it's just that it looks teh ghey.

Friday, August 14, 2009

So Where the hell is DADDY??? This dimbulb is upset that eBay keeps thwarting her attempts to auction baby #7's name... "Drummond — whose children are 19, 16, 14, 3, 2 and 1 — is due to deliver her seventh child on Sept. 16. She said the idea to sell the first name of the child, her second son, "just came" to her while thinking of ways out of her financial funk."

So she can't afford six kids, and number 7 is due... hell, I'll send her a tube of spermicide for FREE.

I was going to comment on various things in her filing, including the spelling and grammatical errors..but someone might accuse me of being racist or something for making fun of ebonics (of course, the person's race is mentioned nowhere)...

Yes, there certainly is a major failure here- but it ain't the college...