Disclaimer: I made the whole thing up. And if you found it by googling your own name or that of someone you know personally? For god's sake, hit the damn back button. That's what it's there for.

Notes: Thanks to JustBreathe80 for the beta! Also, it is worth noting that this is clearly one of the most ridiculous things I have ever written. Ever.

Paul hated it when Hugh visited the set. Hated it. Callum was -- or was good at pretending to be -- oblivious to it. But Hugh knew. And that just pissed Paul off even more, and that just made Hugh think it was even funnier.

Callum could try to laugh it off all he wanted, present Martha as proof. But Callum was seriously fucked up in the head if he really thought that Paul Gross didn't want to bend him over that desk on the set and fuck him so hard he couldn't sit down for days.

Hugh was alone in Callum's trailer on the set, considering doing just that to Callum, when there was a quick knock on the door as it opened. "Hey, Callum, I was--" Paul cut himself off when he saw only Hugh sitting at the small table. "Where is he?" Paul went from Mr. Happy Nice Guy to Mr. Pissed Off Guy with one glance around the room.

"Coffee run. He'll be back in a few." Hugh gave Paul a knowing little smirk. "What'd you need him for? Anything I can help you with?"

"No. Just wanted to ask him about a scene." Paul came in and sat down on the little couch. Apparently he was going to wait for Callum to come back. He seemed intent on ignoring Hugh though, and started writing in the script he carried in with him.

Hugh snorted. "Yeah, right."

Paul looked up. "Excuse me?" Hugh was surprised it wasn't followed by a snap. Christ, the man was bitchier than a woman with PMS.

Paul rolled his eyes. "So, what? Your dick is so damn good that he can ignore what it's attached to? Must be something else, man," Paul said, his tone letting Hugh know that he didn't believe a damn thing he said.

Hugh only slouched further down in his chair and put his hand to his belt. "Oh, it's fucking good." Paul laughed. "What, you wanna see it?" Hugh asked defensively.

Paul snorted. "Yeah, okay."

Hugh gave Paul an evil grin and started unbuckling his belt. It was gonna be fun to see how far he could push the fucker. Paul fucking Gross. He was such a smug motherfucker, which meant Hugh just loved to push him off balance every chance he got. It was just fun. "You gonna make all this effort worth my while?"

"If you actually pull it out, I'll touch it." Hugh was surprised as hell and, shit, there was no fucking way he was gonna back down. He was showing Paul he had a dick, not a pussy.

So he unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans. Paul moved and stood in front of Hugh, almost but not quite, in his personal space. Hugh reached down and pulled his cock out, and he couldn't stop the quick gasp when Paul was actually on his knees and touching Hugh's cock like it was no big deal. Hugh was half-hard, an almost constant state when he was visiting Callum (well, that and competition was kinda hot, okay?).

Paul was jacking Hugh slowly and lightly, just enough to drive Hugh crazy. Which, of course, was Paul's intention. Paul glanced up at Hugh and gave him a look that said Okay, asshole. I'm touching it. Now what are you going to do?

Hugh's breathing was getting heavier from the effort of showing as little reaction as possible, which was a lot fucking harder than he thought it would be. After all, it's not like he wanted the douchebag. He wanted Callum.

Callum. Who was standing just inside the door. Fuck. Paul jumped to his feet and Hugh tried to cover himself, as though it wasn't completely obvious what was going on. He had no idea how Callum was going to react to this. It wasn’t like they had an exclusive deal or anything, they both slept with other people and all, but in Callum's trailer on the set? That wasn't cool.

But Callum proved that he deserved all the love and blowjobs in the world when he said, "So, what? It's not buddies until I'm gone?" Then, he walked over to Hugh and kissed him, hot and dirty and messy and so fucking good. Callum had the most talented tongue in North America.

Apparently, Paul thought that was the perfect moment to escape. Callum must have heard him moving away, so he pulled away from Hugh, grabbed the front of Paul's shirt, and went after his mouth, the same way he had Hugh's.

And fuck Hugh if that wasn't one of the hottest things he'd ever seen. He sucked in a breath. "Christ, Callum," he whispered as he stood up behind Callum. He put his hands on Callum's hips and his lips on his neck. Callum ground his ass back on Hugh's dick, which was still hanging out of his jeans, and god, that felt fucking amazing. When Hugh reached around and rubbed Callum's cock through his pants, Callum moaned, and broke away from Paul. He leaned forward and whispered something in Paul's ear, but it was too quiet for Hugh to hear. It's not like Hugh was jealous or anything -- fuck, no. Why should he be? -- but he still pulled Callum back, closer to him.

Callum turned around and pushed Hugh back down into the chair. Hugh grunted -- he hadn't been expecting that -- and pulled Callum down to kiss him. Callum stepped back though, after a fucking cocktease of a kiss, and pushed Paul in front of Hugh. Paul dropped to his knees, took a deep breath, and put that pretty mouth right on Hugh's dick.

Paul fucking Gross was sucking Hugh's cock. Half of fucking Canada wanted to be right where Hugh was right at that moment. Hugh may have disliked Paul, but, fuckin' A, the guy could suck dick.

Hugh groaned as his eyes met Callum's. Callum was standing right over them, watching Paul's mouth move up and down, up and down on Hugh's cock. Callum and, yeah, Paul too, they both had their own hands on their own cocks. Hugh didn't really give much of a shit about Paul, but he did about Callum, so he reached over and pulled Callum closer to him. Callum came over and leaned down to kiss Hugh. And, god, that tongue! Callum just shoved it into Hugh's mouth, licking everything he could. Hugh sucked on it, matching the rhythm of Paul sucking his cock. After a few moments, Hugh pushed him back up, and leaned over to lick the head of Callum's dick. Callum gasped and exhaled with a moan. That was all the encouragement Hugh needed, and he took Callum's dick into his mouth.

He fucking loved Callum's cock. It was perfect, long and thick, and it tasted so fucking good. Hugh would suck on it all day if he could. And if he could do it with Paul sucking his -- well, fuck, who'd need anything else? Jesus Christ, this was incredible.

Hugh replaced his mouth with his hand on Callum's dick when he felt himself getting close. (He had learned the hard way that he occasionally clenched his teeth when he came. He didn't sixty-nine much after the incident with that groupie.) "Oh, fuck," he whispered. He kept his hand moving on Callum, faster and harder as he himself got closer to coming. Hugh looked down at Paul, who was watching him jerk off Callum. Paul Gross had never been prettier than he was at that moment, his cheeks hollowing as he sucked, his hair mussed from when Hugh and Callum had each run their hands through it before. Hugh couldn't stop his hips from moving, but Paul held him down. And, fuck, he was so fucking close. He looked up at Callum. He was gonna come. He was-- Just-- Oh fucking-- Fuck!

Paul kept his mouth on him, sucked him through it, not letting go until Hugh was sagging against the back of the chair, unable to breathe. When Hugh recovered a little, he went right back to sucking Callum. He knew Callum was close too. He loved that he could tell just how close Callum was by the noises he made and the way that he grabbed Hugh's hair. And, fuck, yeah, that was it. Hugh took Callum as far back as he could, then pulled off enough to swallow when Callum started to come in Hugh’s mouth, thick and hot. Callum dropped his hands to brace himself on Hugh's shoulders when his knees just wouldn't hold him up anymore, his hands fisted in Hugh's shirt. Hugh fucking loved making Callum come. There was nothing like the high he felt when Callum's eyes squeezed shut and Hugh's name was ripped from his throat.

Callum dropped forward and kissed the top of Hugh's head. The rest of his body followed suit and he was kneeling next to Hugh's chair, panting and fucked out. They both looked at Paul, who was looking at them -- well, Callum, really -- and still stroking himself, not too hard and not too fast, like he didn't want to let this end too quickly. Callum gave Hugh a quick, hot kiss, then leaned over and put his tongue into Paul's mouth. He shoved Paul's hands away and jerked Paul off himself. With Callum kissing him and jerking him fast and rough, Paul was coming in less than thirty seconds. Fucking loser had no stamina when it came to Callum, apparently.

Callum grabbed some napkins off the table to clean himself and Paul up. Hugh noticed the slightly panicked look on Paul's face. Yeah, you didn't think that far ahead, did ya buddy? Dumbass. Now what? Ha!

Callum must have noticed the look too, because he leaned over and gave Paul one last kiss, this one a little gentler, a little nicer than any before it. Then he turned back to Hugh, and kissed him. Kissed him good. Hugh would never admit it, but he loved the way Callum got right after sex. He was all sweet and, well, kind of adorable, really. His kisses were slower, deeper, longer, like he was saying things he couldn't say any other time.

Hugh was starting to get hard again, if that was even possible after that blowjob. He put Callum's hand on his dick and felt Callum smile against his lips. They heard the door shut and when Hugh glanced up, sure enough, Paul was gone.

Callum turned back to Hugh. "Well, I guess that was a lot more fun than just pulling out a ruler."