Send me email updates about messages I've received
on the site and the latest news from The CafeMom Team.By signing up, you certify that
you are female and accept the Terms of Service and have read the
Privacy Policy.

Do you set a "curfew" or a time frame for SO to come home when he hangs out with the boys?

say its my hubbys bday and he said he wanted to party with the boys at a friends house, and he dropped me off at my moms and i honestly wasnt expecting him to be gone long since it was a spur of the moment decision for him, but now its 9 and i havent even heard from him since about 3. we are supposed to be working on our relationship since we both had done some dirt and decided to stay together, but this is making me nuts. i can understand wanting to hang out on your birthday and make music with your friends, but for 8 hours? i dunno if i should be mad or just take it easy cuz its his birthday, he says he spent the entire day shopping with me yesterday so he wanted to see his friends today. how would u feel?

Is he supposed to be picking you back up from your moms? In that case, I would think being gone that dang long is just rude.
I dont give my dh a curfew...he'd laugh at me if I did,lol. But he wouldnt stay gone unreasonably long either, out of respect for me...as I do for him. But then again, he really doesnt hang out with the guys too much...maybe just to go to a car show or something.

It depends, if he's going to hang out with his friends in a celebration I wouldn't put a time limit on it, as long as he was back in time enough to be alert with our son, IDK. But if he's just going somewhere for whatever it depends on how the next day is going to be. Sometimes I say try to be back by midnight, try to be home in a few hours, something like that. But if no limit was set and it's his b-day, I'd let him stay gone and let him have his fun. It's once a year

I don't tell my dh what time he has to be home when he's out, and he doesn't tell me what time to be home.
However, I do let him know what our 'schedule' is like the next day (like if the kids have games or what not) so he knows that if he's home late, he can't sleep all day. :)

Honestly, my hubby would call me if he has been with his friends from 3 in the afternoon....I don't know your situation, but tomorrow bring it up to him that you were worried (not that you didn't trust him), and that you know he would expect you to call and check in if you were gone from 3 in the afternoon.
And then pick a day where you can be gone from 3pm and on. LOL

I don't give my husband a curfew either, however if he had dropped me at my mom's and I was expecting him to pick me up. The first thing I would have asked is when do you plan to come get me, and I would hold him to it. If he didn't pick me up or call then I would be upset and I would let him know how it made me feel.
However I would also expect an update at some point or time of referrence to check in with him, to see how the night was going. Not to check on what he is doing so much as just keeping in touch to know what I can expect.

I think its his birthday and 9 is pretty early to expect a birthday boy who has been partying with his friends to come home. Also consider this, if he's been drinking for 8 hours do you want him on the road coming home to you? I think he wants some guy time and that you wouldn't be so upset about it if you'd make special plans for yourself like gone out to eat or to the movies with your mom. I do tell my DH what time I'd like him home when he's out but it doesn't mean it always happens. If he's drinking too I go pick him up so I don't worry. Try to relax. The more you get on his case the more he's going to feel closed in. You don't want to be the kind of GF guys whine about with their friends like an old ball and chain. Just make sure you know next time what the agreement is. Sounds like tonight was left vague and you didn't really have one so while you're disappointed and worried, he won't think he's done anything wrong.