This week the pressure was on. I definitely felt it. Kinda like the first week all over again. I kept getting asked about outlines, when I'm outlining, how I'm outlining, can I send someone my outline, etc. I keep telling everyone I'm not starting until October, but in reality I have already started. The problem is that my outlines are awful. I'm rehashing my criminal law outline today, but it's hard to even start. In class all we do is debate the sides - someone argue for prosecution, someone argue for defense - every day. I don't feel like I'm pulling out elements or anything substantial that I could use on a test. So, my dilemma is what exactly to put in my outline. Right now I have mini briefs - issue, rule, application - for each concept. But reading over it is not very helpful. I've become accustomed to reading my supplements more and taking notes from them because I can't pull anything out of these case books besides the cases (and there are some helpful notes after cases). I hesitate to rely on my supplements for my outlines - but I'm almost to that point. Any advice on this?

Do I still LOVE LOVE LOVE my classmates?

My infatuation with my section is approaching a demise. Most of the guys are in law school to hook up with girls - and what I thought was fun and flirty has turned into dirty, offensive, and immature. There are a few exceptions and I have met some wonderful girlfriends that I hope to keep forever.

There also seems to be this prerequisite for male law students - cockiness. I am quite positive many of them think I'm an idiot based on their own standard of evaluating others in comparison to their "super human intelligence." I keep thinking how sad it's going to be when many of these guys get their grades in January. They can't all be the smartest.

There is definitely more I have to say...but it's early...and when I say that I mean it's approaching noon and I'm tired...and I really do want to get a lot of studying done this weekend...but really what this all means is that I will be back soon to procrastinate more on this lovely blog.

Law school is absolutely wild right now. Because all of us 1Ls aren't really stressed out yet (I am not sure when the panic begins to consume - October?), we have been spending LOTS of time together, and actually loving it.

I haven't heard any snooty gossip or rumors (besides the silly ones I was took the brunt of when people thought I wasn't studying - really? You really, truly believe I am not studying? I'm in law school too, fool!) since the first week. When we hang out, we can't stop complimenting each other. There is very little talk of school or classes, besides jokes about professors comments and personalities. No one has gotten sloppy drunk and made out (or not that I've heard of or seen) and no one has puked or broken a family heirloom at a house party. Everyone has been really respectful (with a couple exceptions) and people seem genuinely interested in getting to know one another. This reminds me of orientation week - before I was bombardedby lawstudent silliness. People are being nice, and I am liking them. YAY!

My relationship...

But with good news, there comes the bad. The pressure is finally seeping into my relationship with Jay. It's really hard for me not to feel guilty when I am not studying. So I am constantly planning what I am going to do next, when I can fit it in, who I need to talk to, what I need to do extra work for, etc. When I am with him, which has been every single weekend thus far, I am not really there. I'm pretty disconnected. He's not too happy about this. We aren't broken up as of now, and we aren't fighting - but there have been discussions. Most 2Ls and 3Ls I've spoken to say that those in relationships should really get out of them now. I am beginning to see why. But it isn't easy to justify ending a 5 year relationship over law school.

Add to this my flirtatious personality. That's right...I would never do anything, as I've been done before, but...the desire to be single is creeping up inside me. I know in my heart I would still rather press on with Jay, because what we have is incredible. There isn't a single person in my section (I have hardly met anyone outside of it, which is sad) that I would want to date over Jay, or even want to do anything intimate with over Jay. But flirting...I want that.

Law school classes...

Well, they are going. They are going well. I know what is going on. It took me a lot of extra work, probably more than the average law student. It's funny - they say that your LSAT score is supposed to predict your first year performance - but right now it seems the opposite. Those that are struggling have seem to come from the top schools with top scores and those that aren't are the other category - mediocre school and scores. I know it's all speculation so far, but it seems so easy to tell who will be at the top of my class right now. I'm not on my own list, and that bugs me. Ames is definitely on his own list, he always tells me how smart he is in comparison to others. We will see how that goes. He's the one person I want to perform better than. Knowing him, since he is in a different section, if I perform better - he will say my classes must have been easier. He's that kind of guy.

Money!

Money sucks. I've moved around money here and there and I just received an unexpected gift in the mail which will be put towards my debilitating credit card debt, but without that surprise check I don't know what I would do! It isn't easy to live on loans, a lot of packed lunches, a lot of coupon clipping, and a lot of begging and pleading!

I have been busy lately doing things with classmates besides studying - which is pretty awesome. My outlook is a bit better, although my school is still full of egotistical assbags, some of them I can tolerate more than I used to.

I've been having a lot of trouble with Contracts recently - I highly recommend the hornbook on Contracts by Calamari and Perillo if you're always like WTF? in contracts. It's not as complicated as I thought it was.

I've come to realize that I am among the older crowd at my school. This is a little strange. I am only in my mid twenties, yet there are numerous 19-21 year olds around me. Weird.

It seems that there aren't very many single folks at my school. Lots of married/engaged/engaged to be engaged.

Food selection around the campus sucks.

There are quite a few obvious leaches that go to any event just for the free lunch.

General response when asked by upperclassmen what year I am: "Awwwwwwww!" Is my massive backpack what is so cute in comparison to your Kate Spade tote? Hmm....I disagree.

Back to free lunches. I'm not one of those leaches (yet) but damn, there are a lot of free lunch opportunities. I'm not sure I can really blame the leaches.

I don't have a single professor that I dislike.

Everyone seems to have one, two, or four people they are with allthetime. Everyone, in turn, when you are away from your posse, says, "Hey where that other person that is with you all the time?" or, "Oh are you looking for that person you are with all the time?" Hmmmm.

I love noticing the roommate situations that are also in the same section. One day, you don't see one roomie without the other. The next, you never find them together and they choose to sit on opposite sides of the room when and where they can. The next day, reunited! I sense roommate fallout.

The upper-class accent. There are some, well, really just one I've noticed, that pronounce every syllable perfectly in every word, and always emphasize certain words. They use words I haven't gotten to, like "estopped" in sentences between friends. I can't help but think of lolcat speak when I hear words like this. Estoppeh teh stoopit!

I like to yell, "INTENTIONAL TORT OF BATTERY!!" when I am touched in the hallway.

Which brings me to my next point, law students are touchy feely. Squeezing love handles as a greeting is creepy.

Funny t-shirt guy. I've never seen him wear a non-funny t-shirt. They just get funnier.

I drink a lot less than I used to so far.

A lot of non-drinkers in my section.

A lot of former professional bakers. Puts me to shame. I just bake for fun.

Study-group tension leads to the study-group musical chairs. Their loss is my gain!

The smart and pretty girls really bug me.

There are two repeat offenders of surfing the net in class that I have noticed - gossip girl on Perez and then there is creepy facebook boy.

What I was like 2 weeks into law school (I wish I would have done this before law school ever started):

Hair color: light brown

Weight: 140 (I don't have a scale, but Jay does and I this was my weight last I checked over there)

Relationship Status: still in it to win it with Jay

Fingernail length: pretty short since i bite them by habit

Law school friend count: 2* [roommate + gossip girl; i am not counting neighbor because i dislike him]

Favorite law school class: torts [it comes easiest]

Least favorite law school class: civil procedure [i don't get it yet, and i used to be a legal secretary]

Time spent studying each day: about 7.5 hours [2pm until 11PM M-Th with about an hour and a half of goofing off time; this seems excessive as I know I don't get that much done in so much time. Sat/Sun are different since I am currently taking one of those days off and the other I will study more hours but I'll do more in between.]

Supplemental materials purchased: 11 - one E&E for each class (besides legal writing), one hornbook for each, and then I have a canned brief book for civ pro, and a random outline book for contracts. I also have Getting to Maybe, and I've read about half of it. I should probably continue reading it....which brings me to my next question:

Read Getting to Maybe?: See above.

Bar Reviews attended: 0 [there has not been one yet]

Drinks had with classmates: 1 [i don't even know if this counts as it was before orientation week even started..]

Therapeutic shopping trips: 1 [i only count clothing shopping in this since that is what i generally do when i'm upset]

How many times I've cried after class: 1

I guess I'll go back and do this again at the end of December to see what's different. If anyone can think of any other questions, let me know. This could be fun. Feel free to take it and fill it out if you want to. I'd love to procrastinate by reading your answers!

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*I know this seems low but I'm being scientific here. This is the number I feel comfortable with.

I realize that my posts haven't really been too light hearted and happy like posts of my peers, but law school really isn't all fun and games for me. It's serious work.

I'm in law school to learn, and I am. The people aren't my favorite, but I guess they aren't that bad. It's not as if there are people actually razoring out pages in books, or anything. They are just outwardly competitive on every level right now, probably because they are scared shitless of what their grades are going to end up like - just like me. I choose to keep my study hours to myself, but some people feel better when they let everyone know how sad their life is by the number of hours they study.

I think a lot of my problem with 1Ls comes down to how I am processing everything. Everyone is looking for some type of competitive advantage - hornbooks, E&Es, CALI lessons, study groups, study hours, lack of social life. Mine is really a combination of all of those, but I wouldn't really call it a competitive advantage because I am doing all of those things so that I understand what the heck is happening, not because I want to know more than somebody else. I have this fear that I'm going to get my exam and not know what is happening. I also fear being at the bottom of my class. And I have talked to some other students about this and I have gotten some support, which is nice. But I've also been condescended to no end by people who I thought were a little more friendly.

What I need to do is keep my chin up and just press on as though none of that is getting to me. I think remaining human, and even wearing my heart on my sleeve, is my true competitive advantage because no one is going to hire an awkward law nerd who can't communicate with other humans.

About Me

I'm jumping on the bandwagon to blog about my experiences during law school, and I don't anticipate I will ever write anything inspiring or even good, I do anticipate drama. So please, read all about my moody musings of life, love, and law school.