!! New York City apartment bargain! !!

From Craig’s List (Thanks to Felix for the tip!):
“i have a wonderful apartment for a reasonable price. I found out by living with other people that i have some habbits that can be difficult to deal with. i’ve been though several roommates during the past few months and have now decided to list my habbits in hopes of finding a stable roommate.
1. i have a cat. you must love cats and not be allergic.
2. i brush him everyday from 7 until 8 p.m. in the living room.
3. sometimes i don’t feel like talking. i will let you know and you are to go to your room.
4. my mother comes over once a week to pick up some things and she also yells at me for being a homosexual. i am not a homosexual.
5. i keep my kitchen floor so clean you can eat off of it, which is what i do. i eat off a tile in the middle of the kitchen with chopsitcks. i eat two hardboiled eggs every night.
6. i have a problem with metal kitchen utencils. i only permit disposable utencils in the apartment. you are not to bring anything else.
7. all the food in the fridge is labled with different names. you can be sure that they are all mine. you are to label your food “mortimer.” i will not eat mortimer’s food.
if you’re seriously interested contact me and please list your habbits. Please send a photo. thanks”