Friday, February 22, 2008

Frannycakes is back. I am in a much better mood than I was yesterday morning. After a night of nonsleep (is this a word?) and pain, I was pretty ticked off about the whole situation. Plus, I had let the pain med's wear off and the full force hurting was going on. So I learned not to blog when in pain. I also had to apologize to my home healthcare worker (Dick) for being irritable while he was dressing me and doing my hair........more on that later!

Home Healthcare Worker, who shall be referred to now as HHW, swears I was going antique furniture shopping when I fell. Many of you probably remember that I WAS antique furniture shopping when I broke my petite feet. And if you didn't already know that, I did not mistype feet. The word Frankenstein comes to mind....

I had gotten in the car with several purchases I needed to return. I also needed to return some fabric samples from the furniture store. Guess what? I ordered my new.......drum roll please.........RED sofa, chair and ottoman! Yes! Unfortunately, the sectional was just too big for our room. I can't wait for it to come in. It should be here when we get back from Italy or very shortly after. So.....I got a little bit sidetracked. Sorry. Red sofas do that to me. We still have a lot of snow here... and ice... that I slipped on when I got out of the car to check to see if I had broken a tail light after I hit the 4 foot snow bank in the front yard. I have already given you all the nausea details. If you would like more of those, I can give them!

We went to the ER in Lewiston that we had taken Chris to when he had his kidney stone. If you remember, I wrote about how he was treated with lightening fast speed because he had a male doctor who had had kidneys stones in the past. I swear. I have never seen anyone get hooked up with pain killers so fast. The Brotherhood looks out after each other. And while we really didn't wait in the waiting room very long, I was not given The Brotherhood treatment. We actually thought they had forgotten about us a couple of times. Dick took a nice nap. Then he got bored. He demonstrated his dance moves wearing a white plastic glove. (Michael JACKSON.....his cousin!) Then he moved to the little lighted thingies and wanted to look in my eyes to see what it is they look at. I swear! He just about blinded me doing that! Then he wants to look in my ears! They came to get me for my x-rays and decided to give me vicoden on the way....By mouth....they asked if I had eaten....ummmm.....not since breakfast, so he went and gave me two packs of saltines. So I have a mouthful of dry saltines trying to answer questions NOT about my arm like "Your not from around here, are you?" I am amazed they were able to pick out my soft southern accent spoken through dry saltines that were spewing from my mouth like a dust storm! I am sure I left a trail of crackers from the ER to X-Ray.

After another little wait and having my eyes examined yet again by Michael, I mean Dick, I was informed I did indeed have a fractured humerus. After another wait, two nurses came in and put on my new straight jacket and informed HHW of all the things he would have to do for me. I loved these Angels of Mercy! The one thing they did not tell us that HHW would have to do is.........MY HAIR! This is not good folks. It is not good even when I do it. I have realized that I will just have to pull it up in a clippy every day. We are having a hard time even doing that! Thank goodness I will have some females with me on the trip. Now I have to get up before 6 in the morning or I won't be able to get dressed all day. And I have to take a shower at night. Thankfully I have a wonderful HHW who takes care of me.

I talked with my brudder last night. Everyone in his house has been battling the flu. I talked to Virginia, who called sounding like she was concerned, but was enjoying the humor of my humerus. I talked to Elaine, who also seemed concerned, but wanted to rub it in that had I followed HER advice and stayed in SC for the girls weekend that started last night I wouldn't be having this problem. I talked to Gran Gran and Debbie who were concerned and Debbie, bless her heart, volunteered to take my place on the trip to Italy. Now wasn't that sweet of her? I kind of talked to Vickie while she was talking to Dick as I dried off from my shower. (If my HHW doesn't watch himself, I am going to report him for his inappropriate conduct while helping me shower and dry off. I swear!) Mom and Dad called. They were concerned. Daddy was aggravated with me. It seems that he only checks my blog once a day and it was before I had posted yesterday! So Tommy.....you get your 20% back. I know, I know......most of you don't know what I am talking about.........Mom and Dad love me more than my brudder. Up until Daddy's birthday, Tommy was getting 20% of their fortune. That would leave me with 80%. He messed up. Thinking that having his very adorable children sing Happy Birthday to their grandaddy might assure him of another percent or two, he gambled. And lost. They called on the 12th and his birthday was the 16th. Bawahahahahahaha! Daddy wanted me to be the one to tell him he had lost his 20% and I was now 100%. You know....cause they love me more! Then I had to go and screw up and post on my blog AFTER he had checked it that day. Dang it! So you still have 20% Tommy. Consider that your Christmas present from me!

My biggest surprise last night was a phone call from a blog friend! Yvonne called me! We have so many things in common that it is scary! We have decided that we are actually twins that were separated at birth! She is the skinny twin.....! I am afraid that my soft subtle southern accent may have startled her. She sounded like the professional, successful woman and mother that she is! Hopefully we will have the opportunity to meet soon! Thank you for calling Yvonne!

Can you tell I am limited in my activities right now? Have you also realized that I typed this using one hand? My college typing professor would be so proud! Hopefully spellcheck is working again or you will see how bad I type one handed!