1. Chapter 1

“The heart has reasons which the reason cannot understand.”-Blaise Pascal

~*~*~

I don’t know why I’m doing this.

I was driving my car to La Push, God only knew why. I tried to argue myself out of it- I’m usually good at that- but nothing helped. I may not be the most compassionate person in the world but… Edward was my brother. I was doing this for him. I couldn’t let myself forget that.

The road curved and the atmosphere changed around me. I could smell the saltiness of the ocean and the faintest stench of werewolf. I had arrived. I pulled my car barely outside the reservation, so not to break the treaty. As I got out, the trees leaned over me, daunting, almost daring me to break one rule. Great. Even the trees were on their side. I leaned on the side of my M3 impatiently, and played with my perfect hair. I tried a ponytail, but that would only make me seem less of a threat. Pigtails too sweet, one braid too simple. Then I realized what I was doing and let my hair be, disgusted with myself. What did I care what a stupid werewolf thought? They all disgusted me- hairy and dirty… It would be a miracle if any of them appreciated anything beyond their own noses, let alone my true beauty.

It wouldn’t be long now. I knew they could smell me. I felt the adrenaline pump through my empty veins as they drew closer. I took a deep breath; I would have to be peaceful and civil if I wanted to actually pull this off.

Sure enough they came. There were only two of them, but I only needed to speak to one. The first one, I don’t know or care about his name, loomed over me, much like the trees here. I wondered if it was something in the water. The second was Jacob Black. I knew him all right. He was who I was here for.

“You’re on our territory, bloodsucker,” the first one growled. I gave him a disgusted look, but then regained my composure.

“No- I’m not. I’m just outside the boundary as you can see.” I pointed to the sign across the road that marked the beginning of the reservation. “Sorry you boys won’t have any fun with me today,” flashing my deadliest smile. The first one growled again. Jacob rolled his eyes at me.

“Then what do you want?” he said, “You came for a reason didn’t you?” I gave him my hardest stare. I meant business.

“I need to talk to Jacob alone,” He narrowed his eyes and I heard the first one make a sound that clearly meant this would not be granted. I tried again, without taking my eyes off him. “It’s about Bella.” He raised his eyebrows and I saw him soften a little. Bella was his one weak spot, I knew. God, isn’t she everyone’s weak spot?

He turned his head to the first one and an unintelligible communication passed between them. I was going to get my way. Inwardly, I smiled. How I would love to take the opportunity to tear apart, to rip him to shreds and hope he ends up in Hell like me… But life is never fair, is it?

We watched the first one leave through the woods, and then turned to face each other. The hatred between us was suffocating. I sat on the hood of my car and took a deep breath. This was going to be harder than I thought.

“Look- You need to talk to Bella again.” He simply raised his eyebrows again, waiting for me to go on. “She really misses you and it’s really making her upset that you can’t be…” I nearly choked on the word, “friends anymore.”

Jacob shifted his weight, figuring out what to say. “I thought that was her choice,” he said it bitterly and I knew what he meant.

“You really didn’t expect her to leave him for you, right?” He looked defensive, so I tried to rephrase. “I mean, they love each other, crazy as that may be.” He snickered, catching my drift. “I don’t know why he loves her. She’s so… commonplace.”

“You sound like you don’t care for her.” Gee, werewolf, how observant. But I decided to cut him slack. It’s for Edward, I reminded myself.

“Not really,” I said as pleasantly as I could. There was a silence. I guess he was waiting for me to go on. “It’s just that…” God, how to put this nicely. “I don’t think she’s anything amazing. I don’t know why Edward, or you for that matter, make such a big deal over her. She’s human, she’s not pretty, she has no extraordinary skills. She’s not...”

“Like you?” I was about to agree, but then I saw the way he looked at me. It’s the same look Edward gives me when he’s trying to figure me out after he’s read my thoughts. And it really pissed me off that this stupid disgusting werewolf thought he knew me after talking to me for 2 minutes.

“No.” I gave him my deadliest look, so he would know I wasn’t joking. “That’s not it at all.”

He however, stayed light and mocking- the idiot. “Ah, I see. You’re jealous.”

I roared with fury. “WHAT? You’ve got to be kidding me! I’m beautiful! I’m amazing! I don’t know why you would think I’m jealous, when she should be jealous of me!” I stopped for a moment and then opened my eyes very wide. I had just proved his point. And he knew it.

I had two choices then, I knew. I could get in my car and drive away, hoping to never be humiliated like that again- that was my usually route- or I could do the more painful thing for once. I could actually open up to someone. I’ve only ever opened up to Emmett, and even he didn’t know why I had just discovered about myself. It was only this boy, this werewolf. He was the only one who knew. Could I trust him? Did I have to? We’re sworn enemies. I didn’t have trust him with secrets- chances were we wouldn’t see each other again anyway.

Only one more thing could help me decide what decision to make. I looked up to his face, studying, looking for any trace of scorn or amusement. But there was none. It was only consideration and patience. And I saw something there that I never saw in Emmett or Edward or even Carlisle and Esme. It was understanding. He knew how it felt to not understand what you wanted, and then be angry when you didn’t get it anyway. He wanted Bella, God only knew why. He couldn’t have Bella, and he hated both Edward and Bella for it.

And in that moment, something finally connected in my mind. I don’t know how it happened or why. Maybe it was the look on his face. Maybe it was the sheer relief of having someone know my secret at last. Maybe it was those damn trees, towering above us, making it impossible for us to see anything but each other. Whatever it was it made me get off the car and kiss Jacob Black.