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Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Be Reminded By Jealousy ...

"Jealousy points to your false hopes of fulfillment." ~David Deida

If you think money will make you happy, then you will be jealous of
wealthy people. If you think sex will fulfill you, then you will be
jealous of passionate lovers. Whenever you believe that something or
someone, some insight or some experience will truly make you happy, you
are wrong. Only opening as you are is true happiness. You suffer
jealousy when you forget this.

Jealousy is the sting of false hope. Even when you get that for which
you are jealous—a beautiful girlfriend, fame, a man who truly loves
you, great success—nothing essential changes. You are open or closed,
various experiences come and go, everything gained is threatened by
loss, and nothing is quite as fulfilling as your jealousy promises.

Many people have less than you do. They are jealous of you. If they were you, how blissful would they be right now?

Bliss is the nature of deep openness. Nothing other than openness—not
money, knowledge, or relationship—truly increases or decreases your
bliss. This is easy to understand. Still, you are probably jealous of
certain people. You want what they have.

This feeling of jealousy is a useful sign. Feel it fully. Part of you
hates them for having what you don’t. Part of you justifies that you
are better off without it. Part of you feels inferior for not having it.
Part of you tries to feel superior by not needing it.

This complex wad of jealousy is a sign that you aren’t relaxed as

openness. If you are jealous of someone who seems to have a good
intimate relationship, then you are refusing to open fully with the
relationship (or lack of relationship) that you do have. You still hope
for something more. You still are requiring a change of relationship
before you are willing to surrender wide open as love.

This sense of waiting, as if the future might offer you something
more fulfilling than this moment, is the essence of jealous suffering.
Your heart and body clench with stress as you refuse to open now.
Jealousy is a sign that you are waiting.

Suppose you are jealous because your friend has five million dollars
in the bank. Feel your jealousy with precision. Is it hot or cold? Red
or black? Sharp or dull? Do you feel jealous in your belly or heart?
Feel every sensation, and also feel the emotional roots of your
sensations.

The knot in your gut, for instance, is probably rooted in your
feeling of insufficiency. You are waiting for a future event—having more
money—to make you feel sufficiently secure to open. You are waiting,
actively refusing to open as unbound consciousness and love right now.
You believe that if you only had what your friend has—more money—then
the moment would be sufficient, and you would be able to relax open.

The truth is that you can open as every moment, exactly as painful or
pleasurable as it is. You are open as the entire moment now or to some
degree closing—unwilling to feelingly breathe all into your deep heart
and offer all wide open to infinity—therefore suffering your tension,
waiting for future fulfillment or release.

You may need to follow in your friend’s footsteps, acquire riches,
and surround yourself in the image of your relief. Then, sitting in the
midst of your acquisitions, the evidence will be incontrovertible:
Something still feels missing. Still, you are jealous of someone or
something. Still waiting.

While you are unwilling to open as you are, jealousy reminds you of
what you are waiting for. Keep searching for that thing until the search
is exhausted, until your life feels meaningless, until you have tried
and tried and you still feel unfulfilled by what you have or haven’t
acquired.

Whenever you are ready, this moment is sufficient. You can open
deeply right now. Your relief, your fulfillment in any moment, is as
unbounded as your openness.

In moments of envy, seethe in the pang of jealousy without
consolation. Be jealous fully, without closing. Open wide as possible
even while squirming as jealousy. Breathe the entire moment in and out
of your jealous heart. Allow the moment’s presence to penetrate into
your deepest heart, and allow your heart to give love outward without
limit, feeling out beyond all you can sense or know. As jealousy wide
open, look into your friend’s eyes and see that his openness is the same
openness you are.

Your life is adorned with various gains and losses, pleasures and
pains. In the midst of every present moment, you are either opening or
closing. You are either feeling all while giving your deepest gifts of
love or you are waiting.