"Life is an adventure if you spend it with the right people. "

Wellbeing

Christmas can bring out the stress in even the most placid of people if your not careful.

Filling days with lots of activities, buying loads of gifts that are unneeded or unappreciated. Going overboard on the Christmas dinner menu and not practicing any form of self care!

So I thought I would leave a list here to remind myself and any of you of what to do to keep away the stress a little over the next few exciting weeks.

Create a Plan – This for me is most important. I have to have a plan for the whole of December if not I feel overwhelmed or double book things in already busy schedule.

Say No – You really don’t need to accept every invitation and if your schedule is already full say no!

Cut down – There is no point getting into debt to pay for Christmas if you cant afford it dont buy it! The kids may moan that they didn’t get some thing yes I’m not going to lie and say they wont care because if they are anything like mine they will. This year however I am focusing on a couple of main gifts and a few little gifts If they moan they dont have much they will just have to moan. I’m not getting into any more debt or cluttering up my home for fear my kids will be disappointed! That good old rule of “Something you want, Something You Need, Something to wear, Something to read,” Is a good thing to stick to!

Take some me Time – During the chaotic times take a moment to breath and relax, Paint your nails, go for a coffee, a walk in the park, even a bath when the kids are in bed.

Vitamins – Stress can be exaggerated if there are vitamins lacking in your body so take a supplement each day I take Wellwoman Max vitamins which contains a multi vitamin, omega, and calcium as well as that important vitamin D thats lacking this time of the year!

Don’t attempt new recipes on the day of your big meal or party. If you really want to try something new why not have a trial run before your big day? However dont go overboard with your menu. Its better to spend time eating with your family not stressing that you dinner isn’t going to plan.

Create a Menu – Dont just wing Chritmas lunch create a menu for yourself with timings of cooking and preparing on it Above I said dont go over the top but If your like me I love to entertain and I have 15 for dinner so i really do need to plan my menu in advance!

Dont turn to Alcohol – There is nothing worse than trying to entertain the in-laws (or worse your husbands ex wife. Yes I have my step sons mum for dinner this year – Long story but we do get on) than trying to entertain them with a hangover. or getting so drunk you end up arguing. So sure enjoy a tipple or two but dont go overboard.

Get some air – Ive mentioned getting some me time but getting out in the fresh air is also a good way to take 5. Even if its as a family, Just wrap them up warm and take them for a walk. pick up some fresh veg or head to the woods. just get some air.

I think thats all for the moment. If you can think of any more please leave them in the comments below.

Over on Instagram last week I said that our home had reached crisis point.

I just wanted to elaborate a little and make some plans to fix it.

I feel like certain parts of our life are getting out of control and I think it’s affecting us all.

I know my wellbeing is suffering.

Things need fixing before it gets to the point of no return.

I thought if I say my plans out loud here it will make me more accountable.

There are a few areas of our life that need some attention.

I’m going to split them in to categories to make it a little easier for me to deal with.

Clutter

Problem

So this I think is by far the biggest thing that we struggle with and that causes the most arguments!

I dont want to become a minimalist as I do enjoy stuff and I enjoy shopping (What women doesn’t!)I just need to minimise what we have. There is that old saying if it isn’t useful or beautiful get rid if it! This needs to be adopted more into our house.

Plan

Writing down all the different areas that really need decluttering. And working out which ones are high up on the list of places that stress me out! The places in use and every time I curse because I can’t find something.

Organisation & cleaning.

Problem

To follow up from decluttering, I need to a better way to be organised. Paperwork, clothes, toys etc. Although we have great storage in our play room we never seem to tidy properly.

Plan

The plan is to create a better schedule so that organisational jobs get done throughout each day!

Fitness & Health

Problem

Since having my gallbladder out it was like I was given free reign of food again. so I’ve slipped back into old habits of eating processed rubbish, take outs and too much naughty stuff in general. This has not only made me put weight back on but its affecting my mood and is contributing to my fatigue!

Plan

So in July its my 38th Birthday which means I’m only 2 years away from hitting 40. My plan is to get #fitfor40 . I have spoken to my doctor who is helping me to see what areas i need to change. I obviously know what I need to start with so creating healthy meal plans for each month, and making sure I am active each day are on my to do list.

Debt

Problem

Money is not something anyone every talks about. I really think this doesn’t help when it comes to getting in debt.

We as a family have debt, just like alot of people however they never seem to shift. for too long we have just moved our money around and around, we dont have an emergency budget and live pay date to pay date.

Plan

We need to get our head out of the sand and start budgeting. We need to take hold of what we earn and pay off those niggling little debts.

Home School

Problem

I feel like I’m failing and unorganised. Im living week to week with no real learning goals or plans.

Plan

Although I know I need to chill out a little when it come to how much the kids need to learn I also know that we need to tackle certain things especially when it comes to Jake. So I want to create some kind of learning plan. Setting different tasks up maybe each month. and

Being a couple

Problem

The littlest twins are now 8 Month but they are still in our room and they are still having moment where they need settling through the night. This coupled with the fact that most of our time lately has been focused on my health issues and raising two sets of twins means that arguments have crept up, date nights have pretty much been non existent.

Plan

We need to fit in dates more often. Even if that just means a coffee one morning at the coffee shop – (No Phones) Or an afternoon at the cinema.

They are some of the areas I need to work on. One other big issue is the kids behaviour. The past few days have been horrendous. I haven’t got the energy to talk about it here It has to be its own crisis category suffice to say there are issues with going to bed, jealousy issues with the babies, sibling fighting with each other.

Please feel free to offer me any tips on the above categories. I appreciate your comments and encouragement.

I feel like a fraud when you tell me who calm I seem. The truth is I’m so far from having it together.

So even though I may be chilled when I get around the corner to school that’s because I already lost my shit over the breakfast table. The kids wouldn’t eat and as we were up late I was feeling bad that I should have got up earlier. I felt bad that I had to rush them to eat breakfast but not as bad as I would have felt had I took them to school with no food.

I may look like my kids are dressed well but the truth is I forget to wash last night and the last jumper they had was covered in some kind of stain about 20 mins ago but I scrubbed it with the dishcloth and it’s actually still wet in places!

My daughter’s hair is in a French plait this morning, however, that’s because she slept in it last night!

I may look like I am ok with this twin mothering stuff but in actual fact, I’ve spent most of today in tears or shouting because I have so much going on in my life at the moment that I’m not handling anything very well.

After half term I may look like I have it together, however, I will be feeling guilty that I’ve wasted the half term anxious and upset with myself!

I will have plans on being a better mum during the 6 weeks when in reality I will be almost full term in this pregnancy and fighting against fatigue and anxiety again!

I may look like I have my shit together, look calm, but inside my head is swimming and my heart pounding and it’s all I can do some days to get my kids to school on time just so I can have a hot cuppa and not play referee for the day!

Some days I’m that late my kids run in without even saying bye, then I spend half the morning worrying about them. worrying that if something happened to me or them that I never hugged them when they went into school that morning!

So Thank you for saying I seem like the calm mum who has it together but in reality, I’m really fighting the same battle as other mums on the school run!

I’ve never really thought about my bedtime as being part of routine but I thought I would take a look and join in anyway!

Here goes…..

Describe your usual bedtime routine.

Lately, I have been going to bed at the same time as the kids. Daddy is often late home as he works all the way in London. Usually what happens is I make a cuppa for me and fill the kids water bottles head upstairs read in my bed with them then they go to their bed and I have a bath while watching YouTube or I grab a magazine and flick through that in my bed while I drink my decaf tea!

When hubby gets home We stick on something light Like not going out or Miranda Stick on a sleep timer and fall asleep!

What are your favourite pyjamas?

I love my Jammers that I bought just before Christmas they have pockets and are really comfy. I tend to wear them with a coordinating vest top or my But first coffee t.

What is your current bedtime reading?

I used to read books all the time but since having the twins I just can’t seem to get into them! I tend to pick up a magazine now at bed time!

What would I find on your bedside table?

I like to take my Vitamins at night so they are in my drawer , In November I was diagnosed with silent reflux so I have a bottle of Gaviscon and I have to take one 5ml spoon before laying down, a bottle of water to drink before I go to sleep and first thing after waking I have to hydrate in a morning or I can’t function! , my empty tea-cup, When I get to bed I remove my I watch, Pandora Bracelet & Glasses so they are also on my bedside.

What scent makes you sleepy?

Chamomile tea, I have a tea that’s blended to help promote sleep so now when I smell it, it makes me sleepy.

What is your usual bedtime and wakeup time?

I tend to go to bed around 7.30 / 8pm but sleep around 9.30 / 10pm. I hate these dark mornings but I try to wake up around 6.30 to give me a good half hour to have a cuppa before the kids wake up!

What are your top three bedtime products?

My Jammers, Sleepy time tea, and my jammers

What is your most common sleeping position?

I like to lay on my tummy with my left leg straight and my right leg bent up towards my tummy, my hands under my pillow!

Do you have anything you like to take to bed with you?

My cuppa!

What is your worst bedtime habit?

Like a lot of people, I think Its looking at my iPhone just before trying to sleep! Studies have shown that being on your phone increases dopamine, the same feel-good chemical that’s released from the brain when people take drugs or drink!

I really need to stop this addiction!

So that’s my bedtime, not really a routine but it is what it is! I think having looked at it wrote down like this I really need to shake my routine up a bit. there’s no wonder I don’t sleep very well!

Step 1: Thank the person who nominated you, and link back to their blog.Step 2: Display the Bedtime badge; which you can find at the top of this post. (save the picture)Step 3: Answer the ten questions included above.Step 5: Nominate between three and five fellow bloggers to take part, and set them the questions.

To help with Mental health issues we are encouraged to talk more openly about mental health so today around the country hundreds of people will be gathering in a fundraising initiative called Tea & Talk.

So today I am welcoming you for a cuppa with me as I tell you my mental health story!

If you would like to know more about mental health day or Tea & Talk head on over to the mental health foundation website!

I am ready for the jumpers and boots and scarves. I’m ready to take the kids jumping in puddles. I’m ready for long Sunday walks in the woods to collect pine cones for crafting.

In previous years I have suffered more with my mental health in the cooler less sunny months. I’m not sure It’s as bad as seasonal effective disorder but I do feel more anxiety.

So this year I am preparing for the duller days in advance. So far I have bought a new bulb for my lumie light so that I can wake to a sunshine simulation even when the mornings are dark.

I am filling my cupboards with vitamins and I am going to make an effort to get outside even in the rain!

A couple of weeks ago I bought a book all about Hygge (pronounced Hue-Gah)- The Danish are the happiest nation apparently yet they have the longest winter days. however they embrace the dark and fill it with hygge.

I have set my self the intention to live a hygge Autumn/ Winter – Embracing the darkness filling it with cosy things!

I have set up a Pinterest board to help me find inspiration and I have already reorganised my living room to a more cosy layout.

So what is Hygge?

Well there is no direct translation Hygge Is a noun, its thought to mean a warm and fuzzy feeling, cosyness and general feeling of inside warmth.

One is the morning that news broke of Diana’s death – my firmed and I had been out the night before and stayed at another friends house overnight. We woke to the news. “Diana Princess of Wales has been killed in a horrific car accident.”

We were a little in shock were we still drunk. – no. Unfortunately, the news was true. Those boys left without a mother. They were only young. Just a little younger than myself.

The other is when the planes hit the twin towers of New York. – The trade centre towers. As usual, my mum and I had been arguing, I’m not sure what this was about but I ended up leaving in a bad mood and went to my aunts. When we arrived my uncle had the tv on with the news that shook the world. A plane has struck one of the towers. And right there in front of our eyes as the report broke another plane struck the other tower!

News like this unfortunately nowadays makes me fall into anxiety and I end up worrying for days.

My husband travels the world with his work and when he’s not travelling he’s in London. We now have two children together and I worry about the fragility of life. More than I should.

It’s hard being a part-time lone parent. It’s hard being a wife to someone who travels so much for work in a world where because of social media, and the hype around terrorism the world is just a bit scarier now I’m a grown up!

Do you remember where you were on the days that major events around the globe happened?

It’s odd how our brains can remember the feels, sights & sounds of days like this but sometimes I struggle to remember what I went upstairs for!

So what do we do now?

We take time to remember those affected by such tragic days we remember on anniversaries but we live the rest of the time. We can’t live in fear. We strive to be strong for those left behind. We help each other make a better world.

To those gone. Thankyou for the memories.

To those grieving. Tomorrow is a new day and you will get stronger.

To the rest of us. Smile, help, love, & be grateful.
Thanks for reading