This week, we are thrilled to welcome Starr Burgess, M.A. LPC. back to Vagina Chronicles Podcast! If you’re a long-time listener, you’ll remember Starr from Episode 19: “Healthy Relationships – How To Tell If You Have One and What To Do If You Don’t.” It was one of our favorite conversations with such an incredibly insightful woman.

We invited Starr back to the show to dig a little deeper into how/when people begin to enter patterns of abuse in relationships… as children and teens.

Starr shares with us the warning signs of early abuse, whether it’s at home or within relationships or peer groups, and what we can do as adults. The main goal here is to develop trust in order to keep the lines of communication open.

The hope of this episode is for young people to begin to recognize when emotional, verbal, or relational bullying is happening so that they can exercise their right to change their circumstances (as far as it is within their power to do so). If we can help young people to not allow themselves to be caught in the cycles of abuse (self or other) at an early age, the perpetuation of violence may begin to recede.

We hope that you share this episode with anyone in your life that may need to hear this message of self-love, self-reliance, and empowerment.

Listen To The Full Episode:

In the Comments:

Have you noticed controlling or abusive behaviors in your kids or siblings relationships with others? How do you address the threat of those behaviors with the young people in your life? Share your thoughts in the Comments below.

Trigger Warning: On today’s episode, we are talking to author K.L. Randis about her experience of child sexual abuse, domestic violence, and going through the process of prosecuting her abuser…her father. Please proceed at your own discretion if you think any of these subjects may be exceptionally difficult for you to hear at this time. It’s ok to wait to listen. Heck, a few years ago, we wouldn’t have been able to record this interview, so please take care of yourselves and honor where you are now.

That being said, we welcome the bestselling author of Spilled Milk, K.L. Randis, to the show today. Kelly penned the novel, Spilled Milk, based on her real-life experience of abuse at the hands of her father.

Kelly shares her pivotal moment of realization that her family situation wasn’t ok and wasn’t typical; this moment was her tipping point to healing and getting help. She is one of the few who went through the process of prosecuting her abuser after being given a safe space to speak of her abuse and to be heard and believed.

This is a tough, but necessary, discussion of how we can help create those safe conditions within our own families.

In today’s episode, we tackle the topic of domestic violence after the recent highly-publicized case of former Baltimore Raven Ray Rice punching his wife in an elevator.

Of course, this situation is not unique to football players, or celebrities, but it has provided yet another opportunity to publicly speak about and bring awareness to the crime of domestic abuse. Too often, we overlook our fellow humans and try to stay out of other people’s business. Why? Maybe it’s because we convince ourselves that we’re wrong about the woman who is constantly injured due to her propensity to “accidents.” Or perhaps we have too much going on in our own lives to worry about others. Maybe we just don’t feel like we have the tools to help someone through a really hard situation.

Whatever the reason, it’s time to stand with those who tell, as well as those who don’t. There are many reasons why women who are abused don’t tell – let’s do our best to overcome some of the fears ourselves, so that others may find the strength and support to change their situation.