Guys, spurred by my middle school nemesis running for office this November, I'm starting my grassroots campaign for the 9th congressional district in California. I've calculated the time it take for grass to cover the entire district and it would seem my ideal time to run is in 2036.

So make sure you all move to the 9th district in the next 24 years and vote for me!

CJ, you would be fantastic at either of those positions in my cabinet. I think I'm inclined to give you Defense if only so that I can keep Education and Education under-secretary positions open for others who are also qualified.