A FUnnie look at the loony residents of the Democratic Underground aka DUmmies in particular and the Leftwing Blogosphere in general.

Monday, February 20, 2006

DUmmie FUnnies 02-20-06 ("We are past the point of partisan solutions to our nation's problems!")

The BEST thing about the defeatism now prevalent among the Left, is the HILARIOUS material such an attitude provides as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, "We are past the point of partisan solutions to our nation's problems!" DUmmie IndianaGreen (recently Tombstoned from DUmmieland for daring to disagree with Pied Piper Pitt but now allowed back in) wrings his hands over the fact that the Left will NEVER get back in power via the ballot box. His solution? Either non-violent mass marches against the EVIL Bush regime ala Gandhi's Salt March in 1930 or exile. Of course, the idea of coming up with RATIONAL issues to present to the voters never occurs to him. So sit back and relax as the DUmmie Lemmings prepare to jump off the cliff again in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering just what sort of humiliating begging IndianaGreen had to perform for Skinner to be allowed back in DUmmieland, is in the [brackets]:

We are past the point of partisan solutions to our nation's problems!

[It does no good to oppose the Mighty Rove. Give up, NOW!]

The American Republic is long dead! It is sad to see the Democratic Party, with some very notable and courageous exceptions, become a party to its burial. The men and women and gave us the Republic wanted a government that was limited in scope and respectful of their rights, including the rights of the minorities (political, religious, social). They feared a monarchy as much as they feared a dictatorship of a majority. They most definitely did not want the state to impose sectarian views as they had seen happening in Europe! They wanted to be left alone to pursue their own happiness, relying in government and in their collective efforts for those things that as individuals they could not accomplish on their own. Those days are over!

[Oh WOE is us! The wonderful days are GONE with the wind. Continue the comedy act, IndianaGreen...]

Dictatorship is the only way to describe the Bush Administration. In a few short years a significant number of Americans have embraced an absolute monarchy, a monarchy without a throne or crown. The Presidency under Bush has absorbed all the powers that the Framers of the Constitution had to painstakingly divided between three branches of government. The Presidency has claimed the power to start wars without Congressional approval, to detain people indefinitely without charges, to torture and abuse detainees with impunity, and to assassinate whoever they want at any time or place, including American soil. Absolutism at home has led to militarism abroad, the United States joining a long list of aggressor states that include such recent notables as Imperial Japan, Nazi Germany, and in an ironic twist, Saddam's Iraq.

[Fidel Castro has been in ABSOLUTE power in Cuba for nearly 50 years without ever being elected, yet IndianaGreen would describe that situation as a "People's" democracy. Continue IndianaGreen...]

Many of our friends speak of Democratic chances in 2006 and 2008, yet they ignore the well documented record that Republicans have of ballot fraud and voter disenfranchisement. There is little evidence that things will be different in the upcoming midterm elections or in the 2008 Presidential race. Elections in America have become the mirror image of elections held in any authoritarian regime in the Third World. It is only a matter of time before opposition candidates are found laying on a ditch, hands tied behind the back, a bullet shot to the back of the head.

[No need to off the opposition when we merely have to preset the Diebold machines to "Republican." Continue with the paranoia, IndianaGreen...]

Extraordinary times require extraordinary measures, and this is one of those times in which we face an unpalatable choice: resistance or exile!

[You were recently EXILED from DUmmieland, IndianaGreen, for daring to disagree with Pied Piper Pitt. Oh, and now the official disclaimer: Pied Piper Pitt never EVER had any personal dealings with the A.N.S.W.E.R. comrades even though his PDA group was instrumental in organizing the September Rally in D.C. with A.N.S.W.E.R.. Pitt was able to maintain his virginal purity by hermetically sealing himself off in a giant body condom so as not to be infected by the A.N.S.W.E.R. microbes. Okay, now that I have done my official Pied Piper Pitt PSA, you may continue, IndianaGreen...]

If we choose the path of resistance we must take every opportunity to publicly and loudly oppose every action the Bush dictatorship takes. Our opposition must always firm, resolute, and peaceful! Even a hint of violence would give the Bush dictatorship a pretext to impose more draconian measures on the American people. We must deny the Bush tyranny that pretext by adopting the tactics used by Gandhi in India and Martin Luther King in the US. Unlike Gandhi and Dr. King, we will not prevail in our struggle. Imperial nations such as the United States have always succeeded in crushing internal opposition. Their collapse was always brought about by a combination of external opposition and their folly in believing in their own invisibility.

[A great opportunity there for you to lead a Great Salt March to Cocoa Beach, IndianaGreen. Continue with the comedy act...]

Exile is always an option, and in the case of those under persecution such as the LGBT community, it may be the only viable option that is now available. To those that dismiss exile as leftist paranoia, I can only suggest that they consider the fate of the German Jews that waited until it was too late for them to escape the Holocaust. Do not make the same mistake!

[So why aren't YOU leaving, IndianaGreen? Or are you waiting for your "pal," Pied Piper Pitt, to make that move first? Continue from exile or wherever...]

Absolute power corrupts absolutely, Lord Acton was quoted as saying. To Acton's words we must add that absolute power leads to absolute cruelty, as we have seen in the way American troops have treated the Iraqi population. Those same troops will be used on American soil against the American people! If you doubt, do a Google on Posse Comitatus, and on the current efforts by the Bush dictatorship to do away with its remnants in order to "protect us."

[LOL! Whenever a DUmmie has to show actual PROOF of something, they almost always say to Google it. Okay, IndianaGreen, I'll go to Google and do a search on "Thank Heaven For Little Girls" just to see which name pops up first, Maurice Chevalier or William Rivers Pitt.]

The end will not be a happy one for any of us!

[At last a note of reality has crept into your fantasy, IndianaGreen. And now to read the rantings of the rest of your reality challenged community.]

Whoa! I have occassionally thought that perhaps I was a defeatist. You've given me a whole new standard.

[True. IndianaGreen does set a new standard for DUmmie defeatism.]

A well written piece. And until something serious is done about ES&S and Diebold vote stealing for Republicans, nothing short of massive resistance will result in a defeat of the fascist juggernaut. I don't completely share your view that resistance is futile, but Democrats are doing their bit to see if they can implode faster than Republicans.

[The most recent example of DUmmie defeatism was stabbing the DUmmie hero, Paul Hackett, in the back by his fellow Democrats thus ensuring that the Ohio senate seat remains in Republican hands. But don't grieve too much. Pied Piper Pitt has assured you that this betrayal was necessary due to RealPolitik.]

Unlike some on this board, I see the 1990's as the REAL Dark Ages for the Democratic Party and the real cause of the cause of the mess we're presently in. That's when the Democratic Party fell down on the job. It had the chance to reverse the dark course of the 1980's, bit instead, it was complicit in the GOP message and the same CON job with a nicer face on it. Democrats enabled the Conservative Revolution by echoing too many of the corporater CONservative assumptions and policies.

[Thanks for that not so subtle slam against the Clintons.]

How many Democrats opposed the PATRIOT extension? Russ Feingold's lone fight was joined by Robert Byrd and independent Jim Jeffords.

[It's WORSE than even you think, DUmmie IndianaGreen. The Democrats completely BACKTRACKED after the big public backlash against them when Dingy Harry celebrated the initial defeat of the Patriot Act a couple of months ago. And one BIG reason why Dingy Harry gloated over the Patriot Act defeat was on the advice of the Daily Kos Leftists who meets regulary with Dingy Harry. So let us all thank the Daily Kos loonie for further undercutting the Democrats chances this year and hope that the Democrats in the future will also take dopey advice from the sage of Newton MA, Pied Piper Pitt.]

Just remember -- Bush is at about 40 percent approval now.

[Just remember -- Bush is NO LONGER running for public office.]

I think our species is mulling a paradigm shift, which is both scary and awesome.

[I think your brain is mulling a paradigm shift.]

"People are waking up" just as the guillotine blade is released. While I wholeheartedly agree that liberalism was decimated and marginalized by a "little bit pregnant" Democratic Party in the 90s, I see no prospect whatsoever that the American Body Politic has changed direction. Whether at breakneck speed or a sedate stroll, we have marched without interruption into an age of fascism, and I see absolutely no retreat in sight. This autocratization of America has proceeded monotonically for over 25 years. We are more than four decades away from a recovery to merely the state we were in the late 70s, and that assumes an immediate change of direction - which is completely out of the question. America will not see itself returned to an even moderately liberal democracy in the next four decades without catastrophic collapses in our nation, both social and economic. No baby boomer will ever again see a liberal democratic America ... nor will our children.

[Ah yes. The WONDERFUL late 70s. The Age of Malaise complete with recession, runaway inflation, high unemployment, and American hostages sitting for 444 days in Tehran. Those were the good ol' days!]

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I am a 30,000 year old reincarnated being who materializes once every 5000 years in a Las Vegas hotel suite. My greatest goal in my eternal life is to spend 6 months on a small tropical island with Mary Matalin doing nothing but pitching a DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert) deal with her. If you happen to be Mary Matalin, please contact me at:
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