The film

Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer should be well-known and infamous by now. Date Movie, Fantastic Movie, Meet The Spartans...after the success of the Scary Movie films seemed like a good opportunity to cash in on numerous relatively cheap productions.
Disaster Movie, the newest sorry effort of the both, has literally become a box office disaster, then torn to pieces all over the Internet. Along with various poison spewing video-reviews, the battle for the top rank in the Imdb's Bottom 100 has also been a pleasure.

Oh well, what to say about this one? Those who liked the already mentioned films of the infamous couple will enjoy this movie as well. Anyone else should really stay the hell away from this as far as possible.
Alas, all hope for the return of the good old ZAZ times with classics like The Naked Gun or Hot Shots! has already been buried and everyone has to decide for himself what to make of these cheap copycats.

The Unrated Version

The procedure of releasing an Unrated version for home cinema has become common for comedy films as well. However, most of the time this is only a matter of re-integrating deleted scenes into the film.
Disaster Movie, however, is an actual PG-13 movie that really was censored in order to get this rating - especially the "I'm fucking (Matt Damon)" song at the end where every "fuck" has been removed from the PG-13 version, thus rendering the gag (if one wants to call the regurgitation of a video from the Jimmy Kimmel Show a "gag") completely useless.

All the other changes made have "censored for the PG rating" written all over them as well, new story extensions are nowhere to be found.

The Unrated should be the better choice for anyone interested in this, but don't expect it to make the movie any better.

Time index in the following order:
PG-13 in NTSC speed (Unrated in NTSC speed)

Alternative footage 07:08-07:09 (07:08-07:09)

In the Theatrical Version, Flavor Flav's front is presented a bit longer, so unlike in the Unrated we are spared having to look at his butt.
The last frames of the shot of his leg behind the door is in the PG-13 as well.

Unrated 0,3 sec longer

PG-13

Unrated

Alternative footage 13:32-13:37 (13:32-13:36)

As the ball flies towards Dr. Phil, he hits on the girl in different ways.
Only the Unrated presents a closer shot of him falling over, while in the PG-13 the shot remains farther away and also lasts longer.

PG-13: "There's a medical term for what you do to me: Horny."
Unrated: "Let's go back to my hot tub. You can suck on my..."

...and is also longer in the end, Will smashes the Chipmunk against the wood one more time.

0,9 sec

50:24 (50:43-50:48)

Will trying to get ridd of the Chipmunk with an umbrella.

4,8 sec

50:30 (50:54-50:56)

Will beats the Chipmunks two more times in two additional shots.

1,4 sec

50:36 (51:02)

More nut-biting.

0,3 sec

54:50 (55:16-55:22)

Batman addresses Will regarding his girlfriend: "She must be some piece of pussy."
Will agrees: "She is, sir. She is."
Then a shot of the princess.

6 sec

55:58 (56:30-56:31)

Only in the Unrated Batman gets to finish his line: "Would you want to watch me play with myself?" - before he his pulled off screen.

0,5 sec

56:56 (57:29-57:31)

The shot starts earlier and the princess says: "That was better than sex with a camel."

2 sec

Alternative footage 61:45-61:51 (62:20-62:26)

As we see Beowulf from behind, a different shot has been used in the Unrated, showing his bare butt.

No time difference

PG-13

Unrated

Alternative footage 61:53-61:55 (62:28-62:30)

In the PG-13, we see a shot of Amy asking "What?", while the Unrated presents us Beowulf's buttocks again.

PG-13 0,2 sec longer

PG-13

Unrated

62:54 (63:29-63:30)

Additional shot of Beowulf jumping into view.

0,4 sec

Alternative footage 63:57-63:59 (64:33-64:37)

The PG-13 shows the princess laughing and saying "It's true".

The Unrated shows alternative shots of the princess along with the added line "And a curious factoid: Pandas actually have three descending testicles."

Unrated 2,8 sec longer

PG-13

Unrated

65:54 (66:32)

Beowulf clings to Wills back longer.

0,6 sec

66:11 (66:49-66:50)

Dito.

0,8 sec

Alternative footage 66:12 (66:51-66:53)

The Unrated provides two additional shots of Will with Beowulf on his back.

In exchange, the following shot is longer in the PG-13.

Unrated 1,8 sec longer

Alternative footage 66:15 (66:56-66:57)

The Unrated shows an additional shot while the following shot starts earlier in the PG-13..

Unrated 0,7 sec longer

PG-13

Unrated

Alternative footage 67:47-67:48 (68:29-68:35)

Indiana Jones (Tony Cox) elaborates on what went on with Wills mother: "She did this special thing...with her big toe and candle wax..."
Will: "Okay."

Once more, earlier starting of the following shot in the PG-13.

Unrated 5,4 sec longer

Alternative footage 68:29-68:34 (69:16-69:34)

In the PG-13 Indiana says "There is no cure for herpes and I bullshit you not."

Before that, the Unrated shows him saying: "Hell, I got gonorrhea so many times, my Johnson looked like a melted Baby Ruth."
Amy shivers in disgust and he continues: "Hell, in the 70s, my nickname was Chlamydia Jones."

After another shot of Amy and Will, Indiana here too says "There is no cure for herpes and I bullshit you not", Will answers "Thanks, Dad".

Unrated 13 sec longer

71:28 (72:28-72:31)

The shot is longer and the marked words are only uttered in the Unrated:
"And, Will, do you take Amy to be your doughnut of love that you'll fill with cream every day?"

2,7 sec

Alternative footage 72:13-75:22 (73:16-76:25)

In the "parody" on the "I'm fucking Matt Damon"-Song every single "fucking" has been replaced by "dating" in the PG-13. The parts with differing text have been provided with alternative, yet similar footage.

The bold parts display the text from the Unrated while those in italics display the text from the PG-13.

The following two shots of Iron Man do not differ; only the text is different - same with the first lines of the princess and her prince.
- A most uncomfortable screw but I fuck(= date) the princess too.
(- Ding Dong.
- Who's that ringing on my bell?)

PG-13

Unrated

- The bitch(= chick) who's fucking(= dating) Iron Man. That's I-R-O-N M-A-N and I fuck him in the mouth(= I like his tin can).
- That's fucking(= really) great because I'm fucking(= dating) Wolf.

The first shot of Wolf screaming is identical as well.

PG-13

Unrated

- He's(-missing in the PG-13-)fucking(= Dating) Wolf. Ain't that a pity? Because I'm fucking(= dating) those bitches(= broads) from Sex and the City.

Carmen Electra's last words "...with the tragic hairdo" as well as the first line from the horrible-looking Javier Bardem-Double ("Call it, heads...") are identical.

PG-13

Unrated

I'm fucking(= dating) J. T.
- I'm fucking(= dating) that male model 'Cause he's so fine and I like to get up in them Calvin Kleins.

(The last words are shot identically again.)

PG-13

Unrated

- It's true, J. T. fucked my ass(= dates me once) again but I'm also fucking(= dating) Prince Caspian.
(Additional shot of the model in the Unrated.)
- I am handsome and I am cool, that's why this prince fucks(= dates) the kids from high school.

(The first lines from the "High School Musical" guys are the same again.)

PG-13

Unrated

The PG-13 shows he next shot of two pupils a bit earlier while the Unrated stays with the first shot a bit longer:
- It's time to get fucked(= date)- Fuck(= Date) me.
- No, fuck(= date) me.
- Fuck(= Date) me.
- He fucks(= dates) all us kids in high school.

Along with the next line ("Under the bleachers, in the showers while we're changing for gym class.") identical shots have been used again.

More of Amy Winehouse, hitting on the Cro-Magnon dude;
"Hang on a bit. You're a bit of stuff, aren't you? Look at you. What are you packing under there? What are you hiding under that? I can see your sausage and biscuits. I love sausage and biscuits."