kickass teeth

Kickass, the doorstop dog, says his keeper had his teeth cleaned this morning—giving the hygienist a fresh definition of “long in the tooth,” and then he bought a one-year “dental plan,” which is not in keeping with his ambivalence about buying green bananas. Fact is, he hopes to chew bananas until there is a no-nonsense mother in the White House who comes in swinging a broom and shouting, “GET OFF YOUR NARCISSISTIC ASSES AND DO YOUR CHORES!”