I just received an iPod from my wife for Christmas, and I'm listening to Michael Bolton's rendition of "Silent Night." I could just listen to it over and over again. It's beautiful. There are other Christmas songs I like very much too. I like Christmas music. Why? Because it helps me to remember what I was doing and thinking when I heard it in years past, and because it's just, well, beautiful. It also makes me want to believe again. That's right. All the arguments in the world don't phase me in the least. But music!? Ahhh. Music. Christmas music. Hymnal music. Chorus music. I love it! Sometimes it just makes me want to believe again. Sometimes I miss the Christian relationships I had developed in over 25 years. I miss it all the most at Christmas time. But even listening to this music I cannot bring myself to believe. I just cannot do it, even in these moments when I wish I could.

I hope that those who hate me and what I'm doing can see fit to forgive me even though I cannot repent of what I'm doing. I'm just doing what I think is best and true and right. I just cannot see things otherwise, given what I believe now. I can't do it.

I know we have our debates, and sometimes there are hard feelings between those of us who debate the issues surrounding Christianity. But we are all flesh and blood people, with feelings, hopes, and aspirations. We all have family and friends we can count on, and who can count on us. Most of us have pets that we love as well, and who love us. We all try to make a living the best that we know how. And it's a struggle for us all, no matter what we believe.

But at this Christmas season I wish every person who visits here a Merry Christmas, especially every team member at DC both past and present! I wish we all weren't separated by our beliefs, but even though we are, I still wish upon you the very best in life.