This is a blog for TEACHERS WHO ROCK and are frustrated by the day to day drama that gets in the way of our interactions with children. Don't get me wrong, I love my job, but sometimes a girl has gotta vent...

Friday, November 30, 2007

I was already fantasizing about all the wine I was going to drink as I caught up on all my fave TIVOed shows (I feel close enough to you all at this point to admit that Golden Girls is one of my all time favorite shows and guilty pleasures) on my way out of the building today when the school secretary abruptly burst my bubble.

Her: Mrs. Mimi...I'm so glad I saw you. You are getting a new student on Monday.

Me: What??

Her: Yea, a little boy from Kenya. He's arriving in New York on Saturday and he should be here sometime on Monday morning.

Me: He's just getting to the United States on Saturday and will be here on Monday? Yikes. Does he speak English?

Her: No.

Me: Was Ms. Weavalicious planning on telling me about this before Monday?

Her: No, she left for the day and said that you could work it out. Actually, we've known about this little boy since Tuesday. But I thought you should know.

Me: Thanks.

Ok. So multiple issues are at play here.

First of all, I'm beginning to feel as if Ms. Weavalicious is just out to get me. Seriously, somedays I feel as if I should just bend over on my way by her office door. (I know, gross visual, but it had to be said...you know I don't have a reputation for tip-toeing around an issue).

Secondly, they were just planning on dumping this little boy in my class with no warning??!? How horrifying is that? Welcome to America little friend!

Me on this little boy's first day:Oh, um, we don't have desk for you or anything because I didn't know you were coming...so um, here, you can sit in that extra chair in the corner of the classroom. It's all we have. Where should you put your coat...well, there aren't any more hooks, so I guess the floor of the closet? You need a pencil? A book? Maybe a math workbook? Ooo...sorry, I was only given 20 and no one told me you were coming. I'm so sorry sweetheart. What? You don't understand what I'm saying? You don't speak English? Oh ok (big smile) (gesture to sit). Welcome.

And no one was planning on warning me? So who is it really all about here? Because it certainly is not about the child, or even me for that manner.

Needless to say the knot in my stomach is only getting worse. On Monday morning I have to somehow get a desk to materialize, dig up an extra set of every book that my children have (because I was only issued 20...I don't even have a copy for myself of any of their books!) and get my class ready to welcome this addition to our class.

...and for my next trick, I will pull a rabbit directly out of my a*s.

First of all, you are lucky to have any notice at all. I get a phone call about forty seconds before the student reaches my door. This week, I received my THIRD new student since September. Last year I got nine new students during the school year. Redic.

Second, take a set of books from a nice student to give to the new kid. Veteran student can share with a partner. Same with desk, supplies, etc.

Third, I taught my class the theme song to Golden Girls for our Friendship unit. I told them it was one of my favorite songs of all time. I keep a copy of the CD at the listening center and the kids listen to it all the time.

Fourth, if Kenya student really IS new to English, it will be a while before you should expect him to do any academic work. I had two such students last year, totally new immigrants to the US, and they basically copied everything from the board for the first eight weeks. Of course, one of these students was new to school in general, so the fact that he learned how to write his name and the date was a HUGE deal. Even if it took him a month.

I feel for you exponentially.I have had several Weavalicious' in my teaching lifetime.Which has only been for the past 8 years.Hang in there. He's getting a good teacher.Try to enjoy your wine and The Golden Girls.

Perhaps, before you make any New Year's resolutions involving patience, tolerance, or respect for authority, you should devise a plan for dealing with the Weavalicious one. A sit-down with your union rep and a district muckety-muck? That might work. A flaming bag of dog poo on her front stoop? You may find some perverse satisfaction in that as well (especially if you manage to catch it on tape and post it on You Tube)!

I also think it's time you come up with a catch phrase of your own. My personal favorite is "Bite Me." ;-)

Oh, I'm so glad you stopped by my blog, because I am loving reading yours! It is so great to hear the other side of the story, and know that other people think it's all nuts, too. In fact, I'm wondering if maybe you teach at my kids' school. (Isn't it sad, that it's soooo the same, everywhere!?)

This is when Ms. Fanny Pack comes into the picture. She is, after all, the ESOL teacher, so she should be on him like flies on sh*t. But then, she would be in your classroom and kind of slacking off. Can I just say that co-teaching never works?

Mrs. Mimi Right In Your Inbox - Cha Ching!

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About Me

I am a public school teacher who loves her job but is routinely frustrated by all the drama that is created by the other ADULTS...so I have to make it funny so I don't routinely poke myself in the eye....
If you want to give a shout out, you can contact me at itsnotallflowersandsausages (at) gmail (dot) com.
Thanks for reading!!

This is a work of humor...

Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.