AN INTERACTIVE BLOG FOR YOUNG WOMEN SEEKING A DEEPER RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD IN THE REAL WORLD

04/03/2014

It's So Not Fair

Good morning, New Women. Before we continue hanging out with Jesus en route to Jerusalem, I just want to say thank you. So often when you comment you add things like, "This was the perfect post, Nancy, thank you." (A) You don't have to do that but you do, and it blesses me all over the place, and (B) even though I know (or at least I hope) anything I say that's helpful to you really does come from God, I'm encouraged by your thanks to keep at this, to find new, fresh ways to clarify what I think Jesus is saying to us. So -- a huge thank you, my friends. Your COMMENTS are perfect!

Now, then. We are on our way to Jerusalem, and we're spending the night in a hostel (like a hotel but without the amenities) before we move on. We've had a lot to think about when it comes to giving up what we possess that comes between us and God, and we're getting it ...

But as we decide who's sleeping where in the wood-panelled room lined with bunk beds, some grumbling goes on among us.

"Is it just me, or does some of this stuff Jesus is saying seem unfair?"

"No, it's not just you. I'm all trying to be good and faithful and develop good character, and it's still the pretty girls who seem about as deep as the nearest puddle that get all the attention."

"Not only that -- I try so hard to be everyting you just said, and all this bad stuff still happens to me."

"This is the worst part for me: I try to share my faith with people and they look at me like I'm a crazy person."

"Okay, this is going to sound bad but since we're being honest ... I'm glad my grandfather accepted Christ before he passed away. I really am. But, y'know, I'm working my buns off to be a Jesus follower my whole life and making all these sacrifices, and somebody who's done whatever they wanted THEIR whole life decides on their deathbed they want Jesus and they go to heaven just like I'm going to."

By that time we're pretty worked up. Some of us are in tears. Others are ticked off. Still others want to curl up in a ball and put in our ear buds so we can listen to music and forget this whole thing except .... oh, wait, we didn't bring our phones or iPods.

"So, ladies," says a voice from the doorway. "When did I promise you 'fair.'"

We all, of course, immediately start off on a guilt trip, but Jesus puts out his hands to calm us. "Do you want to talk with me about this?"

Ya think?

We of course say yes, even though some of us would still rather go hide. Jesus tells us to circle up, so we sit around him on the floor and he sits cross-legged right down there with us. The air already feels less frantic.

"I've promised you many things during our time together," he says. "But I've never said that if you follow me, everything is going to be 'fair,' at least not the way you think of fair ..."

He pauses.

Someone says, "Like, everybody gets treated equally."

Someone else says, "Each person gets what they really deserve."

"Right," somebody says. "And if someone follows you, their life should be better than the life of someone who doesn't."

"I see," Jesus says. "And does it always seem to turn out that way?"

Uh, no.

For moment, while Jesus prays his hands against his mouth, we think the conversation might be over. That's it? But then he leans forward and we lean in.

"Who do you think should decide what's equal and who's deserving and who should have bad things happen to them? Who's the judge?"

One of us laughs and says, "Me!"

Jesus laughs too. Man, it's a great sound. It makes what he says next easier to take.

"Although we are each gifted with freedom of choice, God is the one who chooses what the big picture looks like. And none of you -- in fact no one -- knows that big picture. You're not called to see the Father's entire plan, so you can't totally understand why certain people are faced with certain things and why 'bad' people appear to have it made and people who are late to the God-party still get to come in."

He watches us take that in, and then he says, "So, no, I'm not promising you 'fair' as the world sees it. I promise you five things that are far better." He counts on his fingers as he goes on. "If you follow me to oneness with God, I promise you strength. I promise you loving comfort. I promise you that you will know who you are so you can do what you're called to do. And I promise that you will know who God is." Jesus looks at each of us in turn. "Isn't that enough?"

Then after he rests his hands on each of our heads, he leaves us to sit with that. Some of us write in our journals. Some just go to our bunks and let it stir within us. All of us who want to comment to each other: about what just doesn't seem fair in our lives and how that might look different to us now, after what Jesus said; about whether we really have faith in the promises he does make; about how letting go of 'fair' might change things.

Comments

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I haven't commented in a LONG time but I have been reading your posts, Mrs. Rue! I just had to say thank you so much for this one. While reading this I was listening to some of the music from Pride and Prejudice and all this really truly almost brought me to tears. I have been struggling for a long time thinking that what has happened to my horse has not been fair. Where I board her, there are a lot of people who never come out to see their horse, never ride them, never brush them, or anything. Their horse always stays perfectly fine and never goes lame. Now I am a lot different than those people when it comes to horse care. I am out there almost every day. I do self care so I manage what feed she gets, what amounts, and when. I brush her out every day and ride her every chance I get. Last summer, she got terribly lame. She couldn't even walk for a short while without limping. She had some soft tissue damage that we could do nothing for except give it time. She slowly got better, but I could still not ride her for the whole summer. When this winter came, she was much better and I could ride her more often, but the winter was so hard a most times it was too cold to ride! Now spring comes and about 2 weeks ago she was turned out for the second time and she did something. We think she hyper-extended some ligament but she had to stay inside again and I could not do anything with her but take her out of the stall and brush her. I got angry with whom I don't know and cried myself to sleep for a few days in a row. I thought why me? I was doing everything right and yet everything was going wrong. Thankfully she had a quick recovery- nothing major and now I rode her for the first time yesterday. I still think what happened was not fair but have come to accept it. In all of this I have become appreciative of the blessing God gave me- A HORSE! I have my own horse and while she may have struggles, I am so lucky!
Love you all,
Laura

I have thought that in the past. I guess we 'll never understand, although we also don't know other people and their circumstances like Jesus does. If Jesus judged "fairly," then he wouldn't have suffered because of our faults. Although it doesn't keep me from going on our rants like in the story. Thanks for the reminder!

This is great! I need to be reminded of this often. It seems that even if I try to be holy and whatnot, things don't always go the way I want them to. Because God is my creator, I need to remember that he is in charge of my situations and struggles. Fairness isn't up to me to judge! I need to be humble and just give it up to God.
Thank you for your words, Nancy.

I have been super busy and haven't been commenting for a while but I really Loved this post. Lately I have been feeling that my friend's lives are so much fairer then mine, But this post really struck something in me and reminded me Jesus never promised us fair and that life isn't really about fair! Great post! Love you girls!
~Katy~

I think I sometimes use the world's definitions, which ends up making me see God in a really funny way. I love what Jesus said at the end, and I have come to the place where what I have in him beats whatever anybody else seems to have by doing their own thing. I know that he has perfect justice and mercy so I don't worry about it.

If anything, I sometimes wonder why it is so hard. Why I feel constantly like it is "Me against the world" while trying to live my faith. How you can be really nice and show Jesus to people and they still want to stick you. That is when I get tired and say "Why? This whole change the world and love them is awesome and all, but we don't seem to ever get a break from battle! No matter how logical and nice I am people still hate what I stand for! " It is kind of painful to wait for heaven, when the battle will before and the world will be right. But if he is coming with me, then I can wait.

Of course I have to say how awesome this is! I honestly would be in a much different place had God not had me stumble into your books when I was younger and here. I met both in a very low place in my life. Thank you. thank you, thank you for hearing God's call and writing! I am grateful.

…Just had to get that out of my system ;) My family and I just got back from spring break - which we spent in Ireland (!!!!!!!!), and it was absolutely amazing. The most beautiful and restorative place I've ever been, and it was so nice to retreat from the world and just spend time together. I had a lot of catching up and preparations to do, school and packing-wise, hence my absence in the comments. But I've been reading all of the posts, and I'm still right here with all of you!

Also, I pretty much adore the format of this journey - like the narrative that puts us literally in the same room as Jesus. It has inspired a totally new mindset for me when I'm praying and reading my Bible, and I love it! Thank you a million times over, Mrs. Rue.

So yeah, I just wanted to check in and let you girls know I'm still alive;), I love you all, I'm praying for you, and I can't wait to continue this journey together.