Intimate truths

Sweaty sack

Like the smell of Copydex, cat pee and Stinking Bishop, the male groin has a distinctive but not universally appreciated aroma. The musky smell is largely down to the concentration of apocrine sweat glands in the groin. "Unlike the eccrine glands which are found on the rest of the body and which secrete water and salts to keep us cool, these glands produce a modified form of sweat containing proteins, fats, sugars and steroids, along with chemicals that some people find sexually attractive," says sweat expert Dr Douglas Bovell, Senior Lecturer in Biological and Biomedical Science at Glasgow Caledonian University. Unfortunately, though, after a hard day's commute, these odours can become more toxic than intoxicating. The solution? A quick dust with Balla Powder (www.ballapowder.com). Designed specially for your nether regions, it instantly eliminates ball musk and, best of all, banishes ‘batwings' – that unfortunate affliction where a sweaty scrotum temporarily bonds to your thighs.

Cheesy stick

Smegma – the foul-smelling cheesy stuff that accumulates under foreskins unbothered by soap and water – is a combination of skin cells, oil and moisture and peaks between the ages of 18 and 40, when our skin is greasiest. All mammals get it but that's no excuse. "Removal is simple – you just need to pull back the foreskin and wash with warm water and a gentle soap," says Dr Mike Sadler, Chief Operating Officer for NHS Direct. "Be warned though – some men are very sensitive to soaps in the genital area so warm water alone is often enough if you wash regularly." Spraying the sergeant to mask unpleasant smells is definitely not a good idea, he says, since deodorant sprays can irritate the delicate skin of the penis. For novelty factor try sliding on the doughnut-shaped Mansoap (www.maxhim.co.uk) or invest in the quaintly named Gentleman's Cleaning Brush (www.willybrush.com). You can always say it's for cleaning your hubcaps.

Unruly pubes

A little pubic hair is all very well but when it looks like you've got Don King living down your undies it's time for some pubic topiary. Not only do women prefer men to be neat and tidy (a survey by Philips revealed that 80% of them like a bloke to be trimmed) but it makes your equipment look bigger too. According to Jeanna Gibson, beauty therapist at London grooming emporium The Refinery (www.the-refinery.com), it's also more hygienic. "Hairs provide a home for odour-causing bacteria so the less hair the less odour," she says. She suggests trimming pubes with clippers (MH recommends Philips Silver Bodygroom, www.argos.co.uk) or having a professional waxing. "It's not nearly as scary as people believe" she says "we therapists are very matter of fact about it and are also able to recommend aftercare procedures that will help calm the skin after the waxing and prevent ingrown hair."

Prickly pear

"There's a good reason why male porn stars shave their balls," says Anna Span, Britain's leading female porn director (www.annaspansdiary.com). "Removing the hair makes them look bigger and more impressive because, optically, anything that's light tends to look larger. But on top of that, smooth balls feel better and limit the chances of your partner getting hairs in her mouth." Keep yours smooth with the help of the Philips Bodygroom, but splash your boys with cold water first to tighten your sack and make shaving easier and apply a product like Clinique's Post Shave Healer (www.clinique.co.uk), afterwards to minimise razor burn. One word of warning from Span though – once you start shaving you have to keep it up. "There's nothing worse that bristly balls," she says.

Daily Upgrade Newsletter

SIGN UP TO RECEIVE MEN'S HEALTH NEWSLETTERS

We sift through all the day's new research and studies to provide all – and only – what you need to know

Workouts and recipes from the best trainers and nutritionists in the world

Fitness challenges, culture picks, quizzes and everything else you need to make the most of your downtime

Enter your email address:

Please tick if you would prefer not to receive news & special offers from Hearst Magazines UK.
Please tick if you would like to receive news & special offers from selected partners of Hearst Magazines UK
Please tick if you would also like to receive the Men's Health Newsletter
Please tick if you would also like to receive the Men's Health Style Newsletter