TMZ

Let’s face it…we all realize that TMZ is the lowest form of “journalism” you can find online. At least it’s the lowest form you can find before the “journalists” being to make things up.

TMZ appears to have been created to make you, the NON-celebrity, feel better about yourself.

They insult celebrities…they mock celebrities…they post the worst pictures of celebrities…they ambush celebrities with their cameras…they appear to revel in ruining any respect that a celebrity may have. And they do it all without apologies. By all accounts we…as the general reading public…should be disgusted by this website.

But we’re not.

No, we’re drawn to TMZ like flies to manure. We’re excited to see what the next scandal will be and how TMZ will analyze it and break it down. We don’t normally believe news stories about celebrity deaths until TMZ has confirmed them. We can’t wait to hear about the tiniest detail about a celebrity’s life.

Obviously, there’s the question on whether or not this says more about us as people than it does about the website itself. When you think about it, is TMZ any different than the National Enquirer was back in their heyday in the 80’s? Probably not, but with the world in a different place now and everything available readily online, it just seems that the meaner TMZ (and other sites like Radar Online) gets, the more people flock to their site.

And what’s worse is that they publish stories on practically anything remotely related to celebrity. I mean, do we really need to know how big a television or movie star’s on-set trailer is? Do we really need to know how a celebrity’s offspring needed to get bailed out of prison for a minor offense? Do we really need to see a picture of a celebrity mid-chewing of food so they look absolutely ridiculous?

Of course not. But TMZ isn’t about “need”, it’s about “want”. And this, kids, is why it’s a guilty pleasure. We really REALLY shouldn’t enjoy TMZ on almost any level, yet we do. It’s one of the most popular websites in cyberspace…and we’re all to blame thank for that.

I really think a recent “Weird Al” Yankovic release says it best in a song called (aptly enough) TMZ:

You’re sort of famous A minor celebrity And so it only makes sense The world would be Obsessed with every Single thing you do They’re running ’round With their camcorders in the night They’re lurking patiently And hoping that they just might See something real embarrassing You do A bad hair day and sweat-stained T-shirt That’s the story that They’re gonna feature With exclusive pics Of your flabby behind You think you’re all alone But that’s right when you’ll find

A bunch of paparazzi Popping out of nowhere Cameras in your face And then suddenly You’re on TMZ You’re on TMZ

Following you When you’re walking down the street And asking stupid questions While you’re trying to eat So you cover your face Thinking to yourself “Hey, isn’t this creepy?”

And they’re out there praying You’ll have a big meltdown And take ’em on a little car chase Through this whole town They’ll be there with you When you’re going to jail First on the scene For every wardrobe fail

You just picked up some transvestite Seconds later It’s up on the website Get a Vegas wedding A quickie divorce And they’ll be Sneaking in Snapping pictures, of course

And if they ever catch you Picking your nose or Storming down the street On a drunken spree You’re on TMZ

Stalking you, just waiting by your front door Trailing you through Airport security They’re with TMZ

They’re with TMZ

Oh, let me tell you It’s getting to the point Where a famous person can’t Even get a D.U.I Or go on a racist rant Those guys are all around So you really shouldn’t dare Go to every club in town If you’ve flaunt your underwear

Seems that every single time A star decides to shave their head Or ram their car into a tree They’re on TMZ

If they catch you peeing in the bushes Later on, that night Well, I guarantee You’re on TMZ You’re on TMZ

You’re on TMZ

Every single celebrity Knows they’re gonna be

They’re on TMZ

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Don’t get me wrong…I absolutely *LOVE* TMZ, but they mock and make fun of people mercilessly. Some of it is justified, a lot of it isn’t. Even in a fairly positive story they’ll use a bad picture of someone.

They do this to make “normal people” feel better about themselves…I totally get that. But it’s not like TMZ is the pinnacle of journalistic integrity.

For these reasons alone, they are a guilty pleasure. I love TMZ, but I’m not proud of it.