President Continues to Excel at Vacation

CRAWFORD, Texas – After nearly a week, President Bush says he’s just now “getting into the groove” of his vacation at his ranch in Crawford, Texas. Much like a professional athlete, ballet dancer, or sculptor, the president has his own pace and routine for gearing up to really begin work on his chosen art form, and that routine cannot be predicted or predetermined. It is like the sea, with a rhythm all its own.

“Well, I believe the Lord puts us all here to do something,” the president said while stretching to prepare for his day’s relaxation. “I was put here to do something too: nothing. I mean–What I mean is, nothing is the something I was put here to do. But it’s not nothing. It’s something. It’s a skill, and yet it’s innate at the same time. Like the instinct hunters have to kill. I have the same instincts in terms of relaxation. The instinct to… recline. You have to be born with that. You can’t learn it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to judge the wind velocity here before I get in this hammock, so I’m gonna need you folks to skidaddle.”