[Images
subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated
by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The
Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements
in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the
Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton
Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study
of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this
blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and
incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video
clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube /
No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.
Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging
you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise
offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this
and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

[Images
subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated
by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The
Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements
in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the
Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton
Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study
of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this
blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and
incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video
clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube /
No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.
Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging
you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise
offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this
and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

Sunday, 5 August 1990

Mind
you… Well, I bought a ‘Beatles Live in New York’ video for
£2.99. The fact that it’s actually The Beatles live in Washington DC leaves me unimpressed
with the Germans that packaged it. The
quality is poor, but it’s okay.

The
bargain of the day is the purchase of another of my recent ‘target’ albums – UMMAGUMMA,
the 1969 double album by PINK FLOYD (one studio, one live). I’ve listened to the studio LP, which is so
fresh to me and I’m now going to listen to the live LP.

What
happens to Miranda and me now? The
contact is going; slipping away. I can
just tell!

[Images
subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated
by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The
Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements
in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the
Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton
Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study
of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this
blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and
incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video
clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube /
No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.
Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging
you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise
offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this
and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

Saturday, 4 August 1990

My day
began with me drunkenly biking home from Wisbech
in the early hours of the morning. I was
in a fit of rage because my chain kept coming off and I ended up covered in
oil. But I biked across North Brink, passing the Wasp’s house. Well, Miranda’s bedroom light was on. I saw a figure enter the room and then turn
the light out. I’ve no idea who it was,
but I threw stones up at the window and whispered ‘Miranda!’ to no avail. I am, of course, pissed off.

But…

The Beatles!!!

Later:

7.45pm

‘You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away’ – The Beatles

Well,
it’s so good of Miranda to be so generous with her time and consideration,
isn’t it? I’m sure!

[Images
subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated
by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The
Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements
in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the
Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton
Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study
of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this
blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and
incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video
clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube /
No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.
Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging
you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise
offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this
and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

I like
making lists. I eat Sugar Puffs, Shreddies, Cheddaree, Marmite, toast, lasagne, moussaka, and chicken Kiev. I drink lots of tea and very strong
coffee. When I go for a shit, I fill the
‘pan’ with toilet paper so my bottom doesn’t get splashed by impact water, and
I dribble in my sleep. I like the smell
of my pubic regions and I pick my nose a lot.
I collect pornographic magazines and masturbate approximately 3 times a
day.

Well. Today
begins with the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait,
which doesn’t bode too well. But as I
can’t do anything about that at the moment, I’ll move on…

Miranda should have rung me about an
hour and forty minutes ago. And she
hasn’t yet. I hope she doesn’t let me
down. She is my light; an oasis in all
this oblivion. I want to go out with her
tonight, to a pub; to her place too if her parents are away. Possibly even a visit to that old graveyard
we always used to visit.

I have
money now: £235. I feel better.

Later:

‘Mother
Nature’s Son’ – The Beatles

Just
spoke to Betty and offered her some
‘board money’. She very kindly declined
the offer, saying, ‘You don’t have to pay us any rent if you’re working for Freddie.’

Excellent. And exceptionally fair, given the poor hourly
rate.

Later:

7.45pm

‘Give Peace a Chance’ – John Lennon

Can you
dig this?!

I just
rang Miranda’s parents’ house and peril of all perils, her mum answered. Saying
Miranda wasn’t there! Isn’t Miranda
arriving today, I asked. No, and who was
I? Ritcherd,
I told her. Cold, silent pause. She’s not here, Ritcherd, goodbye. Damn!
Weren’t the Wasps meant to be going on holiday? Where’s Miranda? Why, life?
Fucking why? Is Miranda okay?!

Later:

7.49pm

‘Hey Joe’
– Jimi Hendrix

Just rang
Portsmouth. ‘Miranda has gone home
to pick up her car’. Well, there
y’go. I don’t think I’ll be seeing
Miranda tonite then. I was worried. Fuck, I shouldn’t have rung her parents’
home. I wonder… Could she be messing me about? I’ll have to stay in now and await any ‘phone
calls. Oh my god. She’ll probably fall out with me now she
knows I’ve spoken to her bloody mad mother.
Well, that’s not my problem.

Later:

My life
doesn’t get any better.

Miranda
didn’t ring me. So I went out at about 9pm to The Angel. On the way, I saw
Mooney and Danny, and in the pub I saw Legs,
Ash and Ange. Needless to say, I
became extremely inebriated and later we all went to the park which was a bit
naff, but I had good chats with Mary
Wallis, though Alice bugged me
quite a bit.

[Images
subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated
by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The
Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements
in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the
Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton
Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study
of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this
blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and
incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video
clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube /
No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.
Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging
you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise
offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this
and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

Thursday, 2 August 1990

Peter Conti rang today and he was
great. He was very supportive of me and
urged me on past the depression and onward into success. He says that in a recent discussion with Harriet Burleigh, they both agreed that
if anyone in the Drama Department
deserves recognition and success – perhaps even ‘fame’ – then it’s me. Peter even said to me: ‘You were the best in
the whole department; the biggest talent.’
And for all that I show the world a cocky exterior sometimes, I was so
touched and very humbled by those kin words.
So grateful, too. I shall
treasure his faith in me and do all I can to not let my peers down. One day, eh?

[Images
subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated
by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The
Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements
in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the
Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton
Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study
of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this
blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and
incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video
clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube /
No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.
Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging
you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise
offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this
and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

Wednesday, 1 August 1990

About 87
degrees or something diabolical. Not
what you want when you’re loading lorries by hand with no shade and the ground
swirls its oily dust into the air about you.
Next year, if anyone says to me ‘Didn’t we have lovely weather last
July?’ I shall say ‘No. We did
not.’ To agree that this weather is
‘lovely’ would be very hypocritical of me.
I want some cloud and a breeze.
That’s all I ask.

No jobs
in today’s local paper. Fuck.

But from Miranda, I have something to make me
happy…

She wrote
me a letter on Sunday. She calls me ‘dearest Ritcherd’ again, and thanks me for my letter which reached her at 7am on Saturday. She says 7am is a
most ungodly hour, but she was up because the night before they’d all had a
barbecue and it was still going on! She
read it but it didn’t make any sense (less than usual, in fact) because she was
‘extremely stoned’. She says the barbecue
was full of IBM people but actually
turned out to be fun. As she writes,
she’s listening to Scritti Politti
and feeling nostalgic. This was because
she’d had Radio 1 on at work and
they’d played all the number ones of 1984
which left her feeling melancholic. Her
Saturday night at work was awful because the restaurant owners are
skateboarding fans and they invited all the competitors of a big competition to
dine there (about 200 people crammed into 50 person capacity!). She never wants to see a skateboard again.

She
attempts to recall our ‘big sex scene’ from last year as she likens my life to
that of a novel, noting how decadent our generation is. She notes that 100 years ago she probably
wouldn’t even have known what alcohol was, never mind the dope she’s been
smoking.

She asks
about my employment situation, noting that she needs more work herself. Her waitressing job only really pays for the
rent.

She says
we should continue writing and getting to know each other again, then build up
to a phone conversation.

At this
point, she’s listening to ‘Purple Rain’
by Prince, which makes her even more
sad and nostalgic: ‘it seems so long ago since I was fifteen’. She says she’s been trying to remember what
film we saw when we went on our first date.

I asked
her for a photograph in my last letter.
She says she doesn’t want to send me one because she has no recent ones
and also because she recently cut her hair extremely short just to spite Mark
who was being a bastard and loves long hair.
She regrets it and feels stupid that she did that to herself just to
annoy someone. She hates it at the
moment (too long to use gel and too short to tie up or backcomb). She asks me what my hair’s like and if it’s
still short (like last summer). She also
asks if I still dress in a goth way. She
says it’s so damned hot she’s living in shorts and vests, but hopes to get the
velvet and lace out again when winter comes.

She says
she’d like to see me this weekend when she comes up to Wisbech to borrow her mum’s car.
She suggests we have lunch on Saturday. Her friend Becky might be coming with her, though.

She then
asks me to write back soon and signs off with lots of love and three kisses.

She adds
a postscript on Tuesday saying she’s
enclosed a photo of herself. She says
it’s pretty awful. She also says that Becky
isn’t coming up to Wisbech with her so maybe we will meet. She says she’ll give me a ring.

Then
follows another postscript in which she decides not to enclose the photo as
it’s gross.

Shame
about the photograph, Miranda. I’m glad Becky’s
not coming, but I hope we can meet for more than just lunch.

I love
you, you know, Miranda. Ring me soon.

Later:

‘Birthday’
– The Beatles

Well, Lilith rang tonight. She loves me, misses me and wants to see
me. It was a bloody good conversation
for a change, too.

[Images
subject to control of individual Copyright Holders including works originated
by Elton Townend Jones, but excluding any images or design attributed to ‘The
Situation’ which are copyright of The Situation (see specific acknowledgements
in the ‘Thanks to…’section below) / ‘Berwin Groomstool’ is an iteration of the
Situation character ‘William Whicker’ and falls under joint copyright of Elton
Townend Jones and Waen Shepherd / Based on true events and designed as a study
of parochial British cultural and emotional life in the late 20th century, this
blog is a work of fiction – cultural icons excluded, all characters and
incidents featured are entirely fictional / This blog is non-profit; all video
clips are used for illustrative purposes and almost always come from YouTube /
No copyright infringement is intended – just trying to get things into context.
Never forget: no man is an island. If you think anything I’ve used is damaging
you in any way, please comment and immediate action will be taken to minimise
offence / This notice was amended on 1 July 2012 and is intended to cover this
and all posts on www.25yearstoolate.blogspot.com that precede it]

About Me

It's 1990: I am 20. I moved to East Anglia (Wisbech) from West Yorkshire seven years ago. I live in a bungalow (often with my brother Jack) which is owned by Betty (my Mum) and Freddie (her boyfriend), both of whom live down the road with Chip (my baby brother). I have had three Dads (Jon, Paul and George). My best friend is called Flash Gordon ... really! My other best friends are Johnny Badcock, Elbow, Stan, Donna Davidson, and Astra Trellis. I am single, but I like Beatrice Miranda Wasp, Mary-Jane Ferguson, Lilith MacMillan, and Amy Neat. I love Doctor Who, Marvel comics, cult TV, old movies and music: prog, rock, punk, house, goth, and a hell of a lot more. I have recently graduated my study of Performing Arts at Norfolk College of Arts and Technology, King's Lynn, where I won the 1988 Drama Prize, directed two respected plays, and passed my course with Distinction. Now I need to find a career in theatre. I'm sometimes known as 'Jez DeCarlo' - usually when I drink in The Angel. This blog was intended to cover the late 1980s, but will extend to the end of 1990 to see what that's all about. Updated: 11th June 1990.