Thursday, February 17, 2011

Blings and Roundabouts

Ella Verr-Pounding waits patiently for her little Anastastia

Petersfield Town Council may resort to installing a roundabout at the entrance to Petersfield's Posh School to alleviate congestion at 11am when the children arrive for breakfast and 3pm when they leave to go home.

The traffic can be so bad that tailbacks have been known to reach the A3 in one direction, and interfere with the Post Office queue in the other, meaning it is the second thing in Petersfield visible from the Moon (see Newswire passim).

The situation is exacerbated by the fact that just about every child is transported to school alone and in a large vehicle.

Parents, for the most part stay-at-home yummy-mummies, see the delivery and collection of their child as an opportunity to show off their, invariably-less-than-six-month-old car. Critics claim that once they are on to the school site they can be very slow to drop off and depart as they make the most of the perceived limelight.

Posh School did introduce a policy where parents can only park and swagger around the car in their new Jimmy Choos for a maximum of five minutes, which has helped a little, but not resolved the problem entirely.

The petrol station opposite the school, Gasso, has been forced to take action as times of increased traffic unfortunately coincide with the four hours it is normally open each day. The part-time petrol station subsequently experiences a massive drop in profits during term-time.

Digging has already commenced on the forecourt and a slip road is being installed which should at least help motorists who want to call in for fuel.

School spokeswoman Gemima Lacrosse-Racquet said: "We have tried to adopt alternative methods of arrival and departure. Recently one of the classes starting arriving by helicopter but we are geared up only to accept small Squirrels and not Chinooks, so Mr Heseltine's Westland business studies' class will have to revert to arriving in Bentleys and Mercs - some of the poor dears don't even have their own chauffeur. The situation is heartbreaking."