Pages

Saturday, April 30, 2011

STAT pre-operative EKG

So I get called STAT to do an EKG on a pre-operative patient. Of course I know that 99.934 of the time I've ever gotten paged STAT to go there it's just because the patient is having surgery and needs a pre-surgery EKG, so I stop and go to the bathroom on the way, and then I stop in the department where my boss has a few questions for me. You see, fool me 300 times and shame on me, fool me the 301st time shame on you.

So I get down there and I don't say, "I'm pissed at you for paging me STAT," however I do mention, "STAT" every chance I get:

Where's the STAT EKG?

Does the patient the STAT EKG is on have chest pain?

Why was the EKG ordered STAT?

You know, I play this game. The response I got this time was: "We needed to get the EKG done because we need to get the patient to surgery so we can free up this bed."

Sometimes I get, "The doctor ordered it that way.

I have no problem with that, but don't call me STAT. Don't make me pull the EKG from another department to do a STAT treatment, because if a patient comes into the other department and truly needs a STAT EKG he won't be able to get his STAT EKG done because I'm doing your STAT EKG so you can free up a bed.

I don't care if the doctor ordered it that way, or if the tooth ferry ordered it that way. It's disrespectful to me and every patient who truly needs a STAT procedure to order your procedure STAT just so you can empty a bed.