I want to be a normal teen

By Carole Bell

Published 3:14 am, Monday, October 5, 2015

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Carole Bell

Carole Bell

I want to be a normal teen

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Sixteen-year-old Sarah walked into her parents’ kitchen with her 3-month-old daughter cradled in her left arm and reached for a cup with her other hand. “What a night. Bailey was awake for hours.” She pushed her disheveled hair back from her face. “I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”

Jennifer took her granddaughter and cuddled her against her chest. What a blessing this child is. If we can just survive these first years. She brushed a kiss on Bailey’s soft hair. “How’s my sweet baby this morning?”

Jennifer looked up at her daughter. “I know it’s rough. I remember. And I wasn’t going to school.”

Sarah sat down with her cup of tea. “Some of us are thinking we’ll hang out at the mall tonight. Can you and Dad keep Bailey?”

“Oh, that reminds me I need to get going. I’ve got a meeting in about 30 minutes.” Jennifer gave Bailey another kiss and handed her to Sarah. “I’m sorry. You know Dad teaches that class tonight. And I have plans with friends.”

“Aw Mom. Just this once, can’t you skip your girls’ night out to be a grandma? I need a normal teen life for a change.”

“Sweetheart, your life stopped being normal a few months ago. And we try to help. But this once-a-month thing with other professors’ wives is something I look forward to.”

Sarah stood up. “Well what about my friends? I never get to see them. Ever since I got my job and then transferred to the New Horizons, I’m pretty much friendless. All I do is work, study, and take care of Bailey.”

Jennifer waited. How do I support her and still let her know she’s the one in charge of her life? She took a deep breath. “Sarah, I want to help you have some time with your friends. Why don’t you plan something for another night? Your dad and I love to keep Bailey, but just not tonight. Oh, and check with me ahead of time.”

Sarah shoved her cup across the counter and stormed out of the kitchen. “I have to get ready for school.”

When Sarah told her parents she was pregnant, they helped her gather information to decide whether to keep her child or put her up for adoption. They told her they would help her, but that she would be in charge of the decision-making. And if she decided to raise her child, the major care would be her responsibility.

When parents find themselves in these situations, it’s tough not to take over — especially if their child is underage. Caring for a baby may mean skipping sleep, missing fun with friends, and holding down a job to pay for expenses. Those are the consequences of parenthood.

If her parents rescue her from the natural consequences of her actions, Sarah will think she can continue to be disobedient to God’s law and someone will cover for her. She’ll never grow up. When she’s 40, she will still expect to be saved from the outcomes of her disobedience.

There is a fine balance between justice and mercy. Both of those actions are expressions of our love for our children.