The seductive process:
- Phase one: Separation - Stirring interest and desire
Choose the right victim
Create a false sense of security - approach indirectly
Send mixed signals
Appear to be an object of desire - create triangles
Create a need-stir anxiety and discontent
Master the art of insinuation
Enter the spirit
Create temptation
- Phase two: Lead Astray - Creating pleasure and confusion
Keep them suspense - What comes next?
Use the demonic power of words to sow confusion
Pay attention to details
Poeticize your presence
Disarm through strategic weakness and vulnerability
Confuse desire and reality - the perfect illusion
Isolate the victim
- Phase three: The precipice - Deepening the effect through extreme measures
Prove yourself
Effect a regression
Stir up the transgressive and taboo
Use spiritual lures
Mix pleasure with pain
- Phase four: Moving in for the kill
Give them space to fall - The pursuer is pursued
Use physical lures
Master the art of the bold move
Beware the aftereffects
But even if much has changed in degree and scope, the essence of seduction is constant: never be forceful or direct; instead, use pleasure as bait, playing on people’s emotions, stirring desire and confusion, inducing psychological surrender.
Creating love and enchantment becomes the model for all seductions — sexual, social, political. A person in love will surrender.
They also train themselves to be sensitive to pleasure, knowing that feeling pleasure themselves will make it that much easier for them to infect the people around them.
Seduction is a kind of theater in real life, the meeting of illusion and reality.
Her deepest need was to feel loved and desired, which made her seem constantly vulnerable, like a little girl craving protection. She emanated this need for love before the camera; it was effortless, coming from somewhere real and deep inside. A look or gesture that she did not intend to arouse desire would do so doubly powerfully just because it was unintended — it was unintended — its innocence was precisely what excited a man.
Her time never seems to be taken up by work or chores; she gives the impression that she lives for pleasure and is always available. What separates the Sex Siren from the courtesan or whore is her touch of innocence and vulnerability. The mix is perversely satisfying: it gives the male the critical illusion that he is a protector, the father figure, although it is actually the Sex Siren who controls the dynamic.
The Siren never speaks quickly, aggressively, or at a high pitch. Her voice is calm and unhurried, as if she had never quite woken up — or left her bed.
Your gestures must have a certain ambiguity, suggesting something both innocent and erotic. Anything that cannot immediately be understood is supremely seductive, and all the more so if it permeates your manner.
A woman never quite feels desired and appreciated enough. She wants attention, but a man is too often distracted and unresponsive.
In seduction there is often a dilemma: to seduce you need planning and calculation, but if your victim suspects that you have ulterior motives, she will grow defensive. Furthermore, if you seem to be in control, you will inspire fear instead of desire.
Intense desire has a distracting power on a woman, just as the SIren’s physical presence does on a man. A woman is often defensive and can sense insincerity or calculation. But if she feels consumed by your attentions, and is confident you will do anything for her, she will notice nothing else about you, or will find a way to forgive your indiscretions. This is the perfect cover for a seducer. The key is to show no hesitation, to abandon all restraint, to let yourself to, to show that you cannot control yourself and are fundamentally weak. Do not worry about inspiring mistrust: as long as you are the slave to her charms, she will not think of the aftermath.
The use of words as a subtle poison has infinite applications. Remember: it is the form that matters, not the content. The less your targets focus on what you say, and the more on how it makes them feel, the more seductive your effect. Give your words a lofty, spiritual, literary flavor the better to insinuate desire in your unwitting victims.
To play the Rake, the most obvious requirement is the ability to let yourself go, to draw a woman into the kind of purely sensual moment in which past and future lose meaning. You must be able to abandon yourself to the moment. And added benefit of this quality is that it makes you seem unable to control yourself, a display of weakness that a woman enjoys. By abandoning yourself to the seduced, you make them feel that you exist for them alone — a feeling reflecting a truth, though a temporary one.
The ideal lover is rare in the modern world, for the role takes effort. You will have to focus intensely on the other person, fathom what she is missing. What he is disappointed by. People will often reveal this in subtle ways: through gesture, tone of voice, a look in the eye. By seeming to be what they lack, you will fit their ideal.
The key to following the path of the ideal lover is the ability to observe. Ignore your targets’ words and conscious behavior: focus on the tone of their voice, a blush here, a look there — those signs that betray what their words won’t say.
The troubadour role is an ideal because people who do not put themselves and their own interests first are truly rare. For a woman to attract the intense attention of such a man is immensely appealing to her vanity.
Yet nothing is more seductive than patient attentiveness. It makes the affair seem lofty, aesthetic, not really about sex.
If ideal lovers are masters at seducing people by appealing to their higher selves, to something lost from their childhood, politicians can benefit by applying this skill on a mass scale, to an entire electorate.
He wooed as a woman would woo if she were a man — slowly, attentively, paying attention to details, setting a rhythm instead of hurrying to a conclusion.
Seduction was and will always remain the female form of power and warfare.
A man’s apparent independence, his capacity for detachment, often seems to give him the upper hand in the dynamic between men and women. A purely feminine woman will arose desire, but is always vulnerable to the man’s capricious loss of interest; a purely masculine woman, on the other hand, will not arouse that interest at all.
The royal road to seduction is to play up your vulnerability and helplessness. You cannot make this obvious, to seem to be begging for sympathy is to seem needy, which is entirely anti-seductive. Do not proclaim yourself a victim or underdog, but reveal it in your manner, in your confusion. A display of “natural” weakness will make you instantly lovable, both lowering people’s defenses and making them feel delightfully superior to you. Put yourself in situations that make you seem weak, in which someone else has the advantage; they are the bully, you are the innocent lamb. Without any effort on your part, people will feel sympathy for you. Once people’s eyes cloud over with sentimental mist, they will not see how you are manipulating them.
A bout of distance engages the emotions further; instead of making us angry, it makes us insecure. Perhaps they don’t really like us, perhaps we have lost their interest. Once our vanity is at stack, we succumb to the Coquette just to prove we are still desirable. Remember: the essence of the Coquette lies not in the tease and temptation but in the subsequent step back, the emotional withdrawal. That is the key to enslaving desire.
Sadness of any sort is also seductive, particularly if it seems deep-rooted, even spiritual, rather than needy or pathetic — it makes people come to you.
In a world of bluff and smoke, real action and true helpfulness are perhaps the ultimate charm.
Our personalities are often molded by how we are treated: if a parent or spouse is defensive or argumentative in dealing with us, we tend to respond the same way. Never mistake people’s exterior characteristics for reality, for the character they show on the surface may be merely a reflection of the people with whom they have been most in contact, or a front disguising its own opposite. A gruff exterior may hide a person dying for warmth; a repressed, sober-looking type may actually be struggling to conceal uncontrollable emotions. That is the key to charm — feeding what has been repressed or denied.
Indulgence is a powerful tool of seduction: it is hard to be angry or defensive with someone who seems to agree with your opinions and tastes. Charmers may appear to be weaker than their targets but in the end they are the more powerful side because they have stolen the ability to resist.
First, they don’t talk much about themselves, which heightens their mystery and disguises their limitations. Second, they seem to be interested in us, and their interest is so delightfully focused that we relax and open up to them. Finally, Charmers are pleasant to be around. They have none of most people’s ugly qualities — nagging, complaining, self-assertion. They seem to know what pleases. Theirs is a diffused warmth; union without sex.(You may think a geisha is sexual as well as charming; her power, however, lies not in the sexual favors she provides but in her rare self-effacing attentiveness.) Inevitably, we become addicted, and dependent. And dependence is the source of the Charmer’s power.
Since most people are predictable, the effect of these contradictions is devastatingly charismatic. They make you hard to fathom, add richness to your character, make people talk about you. It is often better to reveal your contradictions slowly and subtly — if you throw them out one on top of the other, people may think you have an erratic personality. Show your mysteriousness gradually and word will spread. You must also keep people at arm’s length, to keep them from figuring you out.
Genuine charisma thus means the ability to internally generate and externally express extreme excitement, an ability which makes one the object of intense attention and unreflective imitation by others.
People do not want to hear that your power comes from years of effort or discipline. They prefer to think that it comes from your personality, your character, something you were born with.
Most of us live in a semi-somnambulistic state: we do our daily tasks and the days fly by. The two exceptions to this are childhood and those moments when we are in love. In both cases, our emotions are more engaged, more open and active. And we equate feeling emotional with feeling more alive. A public figure who can affect people’s emotions , who can make them feel communal sadness, joy, or hope, has a similar effect. An appeal to the emotions is far more powerful than an appeal to reason.
Seduction is a form of persuasion that seeks to bypass consciousness, stirring the unconscious mind instead. The reason for this is simple: we are so surrounded by stimuli that compete for our attention, bombarding us with obvious messages, and by people who are overtly political and manipulative. that we are rarely charmed or deceived by them. We have grown increasingly cynical. Try to persuade a person by appealing to their consciousness, by saying outright what you want, by showing all your cards, and what hope do you have? You are just one more irritation to be tuned out.
To avoid this fate you must learn the art of insinuation, of reaching the unconscious. The most eloquent expression of the unconscious is the dream, which is intricately connected to myth; waking from a dream, we are often haunted by its images and ambiguous messages. Dreams obsess us because they mix the real and the unreal. They are filled with real characters, and often deal with real situations, yet they are delightfully irrational, pushing realities to the extremes of delirium. If everything in a dream were realistic, it would have no power over us; if everything were unreal, we would feel less involved in its pleasures and fears. Its fusion of the two is what makes it haunting. This is what Freud called the “uncanny”: something that seems simultaneously strange and familiar.
The count had all the Star qualities. Everything about him was ambiguous and warhol and open to interpretation.
Seducers draw you in by the focused, individualized attention they pay to you.
If seduction is a kind of ceremony or ritual, part of the pleasure is its duration — the time it takes, the waiting that increases anticipation. Brutes have no patience for such things; they are concerned only with their own pleasure, never with yours. To be patient is to show that you are thinking of the other person, which never fails to impress. Impatience has the opposite effect: assuming you are so interested in them you have no reason to wait, Brutes offend you with their egotism. Underneath that egotism, too, there is often a gnawing sense of inferiority, and if you spam them or make them wait, they overreact. If you suspect you are dealing with a Brute, do a test — make that person wait. His or her response will tell you everything you need to know.
Suffocates fall in love with you before you are even half-aware of their existence. The trait is deceptive — you might think they have found you overwhelming — but the fact is they suffer from an inner void, a deep well of need that cannot be filled. Never get involved with Suffocators; they are almost impossible to free yourself from without trauma. They cling to you until you are forced to pull back, where upon they smother you with guilt. We need to idealized a loved one, but love takes time to develop. Recognize Suffocates by how quickly they adore you. Te be so admired may give a momentary boost to your ego, but deep inside you sense that their intense emotions are not related to anything you have done. Trust these instincts.
A lot of people pay too little attention to the details, the signals another person gives. Their senses are dulled by work, by hardship, by self-absorption.
There is nothing more anti-seductive than feeling that someone has assumed that you are theirs, that you cannot possibly resist them. The slightest appearance of this kind of conceit is deadly to seduction: you must prove yourself, take your time, win your target’s heart. Perhaps you fear that he or she will be offended by a slower pace, or will lose interest. It is more likely, however, that your fear reflects your own insecurity, and insecurity is always anti-seductive. In truth, the longer you take, the more you show the depth of your interest, and the deeper the spell you create.
In a world of few formalities and ceremony, seduction is one of the few remnants from the past that retains the ancient patterns. It is a ritual, and its rites must be observed. Haste reveals not the depth of your feelings but the degree of your self-absorption. It may be possible sometimes to hurry someone into love, but you will only be repaid by the lack of pleasure this kind of love affords. If you are naturally impetuous, do what you can to disguise it. Strangely enough, the effort you spend on holding yourself back may be read by your target as deeply seductive.
Seduction is all about signed — about being able to send them and read them.
But even she cannot overcome the youthful stupidity of Meilcour, who is incapable of reading her signs because he is absorbed in his own thoughts. Later in the story, she does manage to educate him, but in real life there are many who cannot be educated. They are too literal and insensitive to the details that contain seductive power. They do not so much repel as irritate and infuriate you by their constant misinterpretations, always viewing life from behind the screen of their ego and unable to see things as they really are. Meilcour is so caught up in himself he cannot see that Madame is expecting him to make the bold move to which she will have to succumb. His hesitation shows that he is thinking of himself, not of her; that he is working about how he will look, not feeling overwhelmed by her charms. Nothing could be more anti-seductive. Recognize such types, and if they are past the young age that would give them an excuse, do not entangle yourself in their awkwardness — they will infect you with doubt.
Remember: seduction is a game of attention, of slowly filling the other person’s mind with your presence. Distance and inattention will create the opposite effect, and can be used as a tactic when the need arises.
Pay close attention to their clothes, their gestures, their offhand comments, the things in their house, certain looks in their eyes; get them to talk about their past, particularly past romances. And slowly the outline of those missing pieces will come into view. Understand: people are constantly giving out signals as to what they lack. They long for completeness, whether the illusion of it or the reality, and if it has to come from another person, that person has tremendous power over them. We may call them victims of a seduction, but they are almost always willing victims.
Never try to seduce someone who is of your own type. You will be like two puzzles missing the same parts.
This often assumes the form of a great interest in spiritual matters or in some worthwhile cause; by focusing on something supposedly elevated, they distract themselves from their own void, from what they dislike about themselves.
Once the victim is properly intrigued, you need to transform their interest into something stronger — desire. Desire is generally preceded by feelings of emptiness, of something missing inside that needs fulfillment.
The perfect victim is the person who stirs you in a way that cannot be explained in words, whose effect on you has nothing to do with superficialities. He or she often has a quality that you yourself lack, and may even secretly envy.
Test the person first. Once you feel that he or she is also vulnerable to you then the hunting can begin.
It is a stroke of good fortune to find one who is worth seducing….Most people rush ahead, become engaged or do other stupid things, and in a turn of the hand everything is over, and they know neither what they have won nor what they have lost.
How do you recognize your victims? By the way they respond to you. You should not pay so much attention to their conscious responses — a person who is obviously trying to please or charm you is probably playing to your vanity, and wants something from you. Instead, pay greater attention to those responses outside conscious control — a blush, an involuntary mirroring of some gesture of yours, an unusual shyness, even perhaps flash of anger or resentment. All of these show that you are having an effect on a person who is open to your influence.
Like Valmont, you can also recognize the right targets by the effect they are having on you. Perhaps they make you uneasy — perhaps they correspond to a deep-rooted childhood ideal, or represent some kind of personal taboo that excites you, or suggest the person you imagine you would be if you were the opposite sex. When a person has such a deep effect on you, it transforms all of your subsequent maneuvers. Your face and gestures become more animated. You have more energy;
There is nothing more effective in seduction than making the seduced think that they are the ones doing the seducing.
Take a step back; let the thoughts you are provoking come to them as if they were their own.
No one can see you as someone to follow or fall in love with unless they first reflect on themselves somehow, and on what they are missing. Before the seduction proceeds, you must place a mirror in front of them in which they glimpse that inner emptiness. Made aware of a lack, they now can focus on you as the person who can fill that empty space. Remember: most of us are lazy. To relieve our feelings of boredom or inadequacy on our own takes too much effort; letting someone else do the job is both easier and more exciting. The desire to have someone fill up our emptiness is the weakness on which all seducers prey. Make people anxious about the future, make them depressed, make them question their identity, make them sense the boredom that gnaws at their life.
Corporations and politicians know that they cannot seduce their public into buying what they want them to buy, or doing what they want them to do unless they first awaken a sense of need and disconnect. Make the masses uncertain about their identity and you can help define it for them.
A passing comment suggests that something about the victim interests you; but keep it subtle, your words revealing a possibility, creating a doubt. You are planting seeds that will take root in the weeks to come. When you are not there, your targets will fantasize about the ideas you have stirred up, and brood upon the doubts.
What distinguishes a suggestion from other kinds of psychical influence, such as a command or the giving of a piece of information or instruction, is that in the case of a suggestion an idea is aroused in another person’s brain which is not examined in regard to its origin but is accepted jus as tough it had arisen spontaneously in that brain.
The way insinuation works is simple: disguised in a banal remark or encounter, a hint is dropped. It is about some emotional issue — a possible pleasure not yet attained, a lack of excitement in a person’s life. The hint registers in the back of the target’s mind, a subtle stab at his or her insecurities; its source is quickly forgotten. It is too subtle to be memorable at the time, and later, when it takes root and grows, it seems to have emerged naturally from the target’s own mind, as if it was there all along. Insinuation lets you bypass people’s natural resistance, for they seem to be listening only to what has originated in themselves. It is a language on its own, communicating directly with the unconscious.
Temptation is a twofold process. First you are coquettish, flirtatious; you stimulate a desire by promising pleasure and distraction from daily life. At the same time, you make it clear to your targets that they cannot have you, at least not right away. You are establishing a barrier, some kind of tension.
The key is to see words as a tool not for communicating true thoughts and feelings but for confusing, delighting, and intoxicating.
Promise something realizable, something possible, but do not make it too specific; you are inviting them to dream. If they are mired in dull routine, talk of adventure, preferably with you. Do not discuss how it will be accomplished; speak as if it magically already existed, somewhere in the future. Lift people’s thoughts into the clouds and they will relax, their defenses will come down, and it will be that much easier to maneuver and lead them astray. Your words become a kind of elevating drug.
Your audience will be so caught up in your bold language that they won’t have time to reflect on whether or not it is true. Never say “I don’t think the other side made a wise decision”; say “We deserve better”, or “They have made a mess of things”. Affirmative language is active language, full of verbs, imperatives, and short sentences. Cut out “I believe”, “Perhaps”, “In my opinion”. Head straight for the heart.

Time is the greatest weapon you have. Patiently keep in mind a longterm goal and neither person nor army can resist you. And charm is the best way of playing for time, of widening your options in any situation. Through charm you can seduce your enemy into backing off, giving you the psychological space to plot an effective counterstrategy. The key is to make other people emotional while you remain...

2012-12-18 11:37

Time is the greatest weapon you have. Patiently keep in mind a longterm goal and neither person nor army can resist you. And charm is the best way of playing for time, of widening your options in any situation. Through charm you can seduce your enemy into backing off, giving you the psychological space to plot an effective counterstrategy. The key is to make other people emotional while you remain detached. They may feel grateful, happy, moved, arrogant—it doesn't matter, as long as they feel. An emotional person is a distracted person. Give them what they want, appeal to their self-interest, make them feel superior to you. When a baby has grabbed a sharp knife, do not try to grab it back; instead, stay calm, offer candy, and the baby will drop the knife to pick up the tempting morsel you offer.

You must first understand a critical property of love and desire: the more obviously you
pursue a person, the more likely you are to chase them away. Too much attention can be interesting for a while, but it soon grows cloying and finally becomes claustrophobic and frightening. It signals weakness and neediness, an unseductive combination. How often we make this mistake, thinking our persistent p...(1回应)

2012-12-17 15:43

You must first understand a critical property of love and desire: the more obviously you

pursue a person, the more likely you are to chase them away. Too much attention can be interesting for a while, but it soon grows cloying and finally becomes claustrophobic and frightening. It signals weakness and neediness, an unseductive combination. How often we make this mistake, thinking our persistent presence will reassure.

Intense desire has a distractingpower on a woman, just as the Siren's physical presence does on a man. A woman is often defensive and can sense insincerity or calculation.But if she feels consumed by your attentions, and is confident you will do anything for her, she will notice nothing else about you, or will find a way to forgive your indiscretions. This is the perfect cover for a seducer. The k...

2012-12-06 11:10

Intense desire has a distractingpower on a woman, just as the Siren's physical presence does on a man. A woman is often defensive and can sense insincerity or calculation.But if she feels consumed by your attentions, and is confident you will do anything for her, she will notice nothing else about you, or will find a way to forgive your indiscretions. This is the perfect cover for a seducer. The key is to show no hesitation, to abandon all restraint, to let yourself go, to show that you cannot control yourself and are fundamentally weak. Do not worry about inspiring mistrust; as long as you are the slave to her charms, she will not think of the aftermath.

The seductive process:
- Phase one: Separation - Stirring interest and desire
Choose the right victim
Create a false sense of security - approach indirectly
Send mixed signals
Appear to be an object of desire - create triangles
Create a need-stir anxiety and discontent
Master the art of insinuation
Enter the spirit
Create temptation
- Phase two: Lead Astray - Creating pleasure and confusion
Keep them suspense - What comes next?
Use the demonic power of words to sow confusion
Pay attention to details
Poeticize your presence
Disarm through strategic weakness and vulnerability
Confuse desire and reality - the perfect illusion
Isolate the victim
- Phase three: The precipice - Deepening the effect through extreme measures
Prove yourself
Effect a regression
Stir up the transgressive and taboo
Use spiritual lures
Mix pleasure with pain
- Phase four: Moving in for the kill
Give them space to fall - The pursuer is pursued
Use physical lures
Master the art of the bold move
Beware the aftereffects
But even if much has changed in degree and scope, the essence of seduction is constant: never be forceful or direct; instead, use pleasure as bait, playing on people’s emotions, stirring desire and confusion, inducing psychological surrender.
Creating love and enchantment becomes the model for all seductions — sexual, social, political. A person in love will surrender.
They also train themselves to be sensitive to pleasure, knowing that feeling pleasure themselves will make it that much easier for them to infect the people around them.
Seduction is a kind of theater in real life, the meeting of illusion and reality.
Her deepest need was to feel loved and desired, which made her seem constantly vulnerable, like a little girl craving protection. She emanated this need for love before the camera; it was effortless, coming from somewhere real and deep inside. A look or gesture that she did not intend to arouse desire would do so doubly powerfully just because it was unintended — it was unintended — its innocence was precisely what excited a man.
Her time never seems to be taken up by work or chores; she gives the impression that she lives for pleasure and is always available. What separates the Sex Siren from the courtesan or whore is her touch of innocence and vulnerability. The mix is perversely satisfying: it gives the male the critical illusion that he is a protector, the father figure, although it is actually the Sex Siren who controls the dynamic.
The Siren never speaks quickly, aggressively, or at a high pitch. Her voice is calm and unhurried, as if she had never quite woken up — or left her bed.
Your gestures must have a certain ambiguity, suggesting something both innocent and erotic. Anything that cannot immediately be understood is supremely seductive, and all the more so if it permeates your manner.
A woman never quite feels desired and appreciated enough. She wants attention, but a man is too often distracted and unresponsive.
In seduction there is often a dilemma: to seduce you need planning and calculation, but if your victim suspects that you have ulterior motives, she will grow defensive. Furthermore, if you seem to be in control, you will inspire fear instead of desire.
Intense desire has a distracting power on a woman, just as the SIren’s physical presence does on a man. A woman is often defensive and can sense insincerity or calculation. But if she feels consumed by your attentions, and is confident you will do anything for her, she will notice nothing else about you, or will find a way to forgive your indiscretions. This is the perfect cover for a seducer. The key is to show no hesitation, to abandon all restraint, to let yourself to, to show that you cannot control yourself and are fundamentally weak. Do not worry about inspiring mistrust: as long as you are the slave to her charms, she will not think of the aftermath.
The use of words as a subtle poison has infinite applications. Remember: it is the form that matters, not the content. The less your targets focus on what you say, and the more on how it makes them feel, the more seductive your effect. Give your words a lofty, spiritual, literary flavor the better to insinuate desire in your unwitting victims.
To play the Rake, the most obvious requirement is the ability to let yourself go, to draw a woman into the kind of purely sensual moment in which past and future lose meaning. You must be able to abandon yourself to the moment. And added benefit of this quality is that it makes you seem unable to control yourself, a display of weakness that a woman enjoys. By abandoning yourself to the seduced, you make them feel that you exist for them alone — a feeling reflecting a truth, though a temporary one.
The ideal lover is rare in the modern world, for the role takes effort. You will have to focus intensely on the other person, fathom what she is missing. What he is disappointed by. People will often reveal this in subtle ways: through gesture, tone of voice, a look in the eye. By seeming to be what they lack, you will fit their ideal.
The key to following the path of the ideal lover is the ability to observe. Ignore your targets’ words and conscious behavior: focus on the tone of their voice, a blush here, a look there — those signs that betray what their words won’t say.
The troubadour role is an ideal because people who do not put themselves and their own interests first are truly rare. For a woman to attract the intense attention of such a man is immensely appealing to her vanity.
Yet nothing is more seductive than patient attentiveness. It makes the affair seem lofty, aesthetic, not really about sex.
If ideal lovers are masters at seducing people by appealing to their higher selves, to something lost from their childhood, politicians can benefit by applying this skill on a mass scale, to an entire electorate.
He wooed as a woman would woo if she were a man — slowly, attentively, paying attention to details, setting a rhythm instead of hurrying to a conclusion.
Seduction was and will always remain the female form of power and warfare.
A man’s apparent independence, his capacity for detachment, often seems to give him the upper hand in the dynamic between men and women. A purely feminine woman will arose desire, but is always vulnerable to the man’s capricious loss of interest; a purely masculine woman, on the other hand, will not arouse that interest at all.
The royal road to seduction is to play up your vulnerability and helplessness. You cannot make this obvious, to seem to be begging for sympathy is to seem needy, which is entirely anti-seductive. Do not proclaim yourself a victim or underdog, but reveal it in your manner, in your confusion. A display of “natural” weakness will make you instantly lovable, both lowering people’s defenses and making them feel delightfully superior to you. Put yourself in situations that make you seem weak, in which someone else has the advantage; they are the bully, you are the innocent lamb. Without any effort on your part, people will feel sympathy for you. Once people’s eyes cloud over with sentimental mist, they will not see how you are manipulating them.
A bout of distance engages the emotions further; instead of making us angry, it makes us insecure. Perhaps they don’t really like us, perhaps we have lost their interest. Once our vanity is at stack, we succumb to the Coquette just to prove we are still desirable. Remember: the essence of the Coquette lies not in the tease and temptation but in the subsequent step back, the emotional withdrawal. That is the key to enslaving desire.
Sadness of any sort is also seductive, particularly if it seems deep-rooted, even spiritual, rather than needy or pathetic — it makes people come to you.
In a world of bluff and smoke, real action and true helpfulness are perhaps the ultimate charm.
Our personalities are often molded by how we are treated: if a parent or spouse is defensive or argumentative in dealing with us, we tend to respond the same way. Never mistake people’s exterior characteristics for reality, for the character they show on the surface may be merely a reflection of the people with whom they have been most in contact, or a front disguising its own opposite. A gruff exterior may hide a person dying for warmth; a repressed, sober-looking type may actually be struggling to conceal uncontrollable emotions. That is the key to charm — feeding what has been repressed or denied.
Indulgence is a powerful tool of seduction: it is hard to be angry or defensive with someone who seems to agree with your opinions and tastes. Charmers may appear to be weaker than their targets but in the end they are the more powerful side because they have stolen the ability to resist.
First, they don’t talk much about themselves, which heightens their mystery and disguises their limitations. Second, they seem to be interested in us, and their interest is so delightfully focused that we relax and open up to them. Finally, Charmers are pleasant to be around. They have none of most people’s ugly qualities — nagging, complaining, self-assertion. They seem to know what pleases. Theirs is a diffused warmth; union without sex.(You may think a geisha is sexual as well as charming; her power, however, lies not in the sexual favors she provides but in her rare self-effacing attentiveness.) Inevitably, we become addicted, and dependent. And dependence is the source of the Charmer’s power.
Since most people are predictable, the effect of these contradictions is devastatingly charismatic. They make you hard to fathom, add richness to your character, make people talk about you. It is often better to reveal your contradictions slowly and subtly — if you throw them out one on top of the other, people may think you have an erratic personality. Show your mysteriousness gradually and word will spread. You must also keep people at arm’s length, to keep them from figuring you out.
Genuine charisma thus means the ability to internally generate and externally express extreme excitement, an ability which makes one the object of intense attention and unreflective imitation by others.
People do not want to hear that your power comes from years of effort or discipline. They prefer to think that it comes from your personality, your character, something you were born with.
Most of us live in a semi-somnambulistic state: we do our daily tasks and the days fly by. The two exceptions to this are childhood and those moments when we are in love. In both cases, our emotions are more engaged, more open and active. And we equate feeling emotional with feeling more alive. A public figure who can affect people’s emotions , who can make them feel communal sadness, joy, or hope, has a similar effect. An appeal to the emotions is far more powerful than an appeal to reason.
Seduction is a form of persuasion that seeks to bypass consciousness, stirring the unconscious mind instead. The reason for this is simple: we are so surrounded by stimuli that compete for our attention, bombarding us with obvious messages, and by people who are overtly political and manipulative. that we are rarely charmed or deceived by them. We have grown increasingly cynical. Try to persuade a person by appealing to their consciousness, by saying outright what you want, by showing all your cards, and what hope do you have? You are just one more irritation to be tuned out.
To avoid this fate you must learn the art of insinuation, of reaching the unconscious. The most eloquent expression of the unconscious is the dream, which is intricately connected to myth; waking from a dream, we are often haunted by its images and ambiguous messages. Dreams obsess us because they mix the real and the unreal. They are filled with real characters, and often deal with real situations, yet they are delightfully irrational, pushing realities to the extremes of delirium. If everything in a dream were realistic, it would have no power over us; if everything were unreal, we would feel less involved in its pleasures and fears. Its fusion of the two is what makes it haunting. This is what Freud called the “uncanny”: something that seems simultaneously strange and familiar.
The count had all the Star qualities. Everything about him was ambiguous and warhol and open to interpretation.
Seducers draw you in by the focused, individualized attention they pay to you.
If seduction is a kind of ceremony or ritual, part of the pleasure is its duration — the time it takes, the waiting that increases anticipation. Brutes have no patience for such things; they are concerned only with their own pleasure, never with yours. To be patient is to show that you are thinking of the other person, which never fails to impress. Impatience has the opposite effect: assuming you are so interested in them you have no reason to wait, Brutes offend you with their egotism. Underneath that egotism, too, there is often a gnawing sense of inferiority, and if you spam them or make them wait, they overreact. If you suspect you are dealing with a Brute, do a test — make that person wait. His or her response will tell you everything you need to know.
Suffocates fall in love with you before you are even half-aware of their existence. The trait is deceptive — you might think they have found you overwhelming — but the fact is they suffer from an inner void, a deep well of need that cannot be filled. Never get involved with Suffocators; they are almost impossible to free yourself from without trauma. They cling to you until you are forced to pull back, where upon they smother you with guilt. We need to idealized a loved one, but love takes time to develop. Recognize Suffocates by how quickly they adore you. Te be so admired may give a momentary boost to your ego, but deep inside you sense that their intense emotions are not related to anything you have done. Trust these instincts.
A lot of people pay too little attention to the details, the signals another person gives. Their senses are dulled by work, by hardship, by self-absorption.
There is nothing more anti-seductive than feeling that someone has assumed that you are theirs, that you cannot possibly resist them. The slightest appearance of this kind of conceit is deadly to seduction: you must prove yourself, take your time, win your target’s heart. Perhaps you fear that he or she will be offended by a slower pace, or will lose interest. It is more likely, however, that your fear reflects your own insecurity, and insecurity is always anti-seductive. In truth, the longer you take, the more you show the depth of your interest, and the deeper the spell you create.
In a world of few formalities and ceremony, seduction is one of the few remnants from the past that retains the ancient patterns. It is a ritual, and its rites must be observed. Haste reveals not the depth of your feelings but the degree of your self-absorption. It may be possible sometimes to hurry someone into love, but you will only be repaid by the lack of pleasure this kind of love affords. If you are naturally impetuous, do what you can to disguise it. Strangely enough, the effort you spend on holding yourself back may be read by your target as deeply seductive.
Seduction is all about signed — about being able to send them and read them.
But even she cannot overcome the youthful stupidity of Meilcour, who is incapable of reading her signs because he is absorbed in his own thoughts. Later in the story, she does manage to educate him, but in real life there are many who cannot be educated. They are too literal and insensitive to the details that contain seductive power. They do not so much repel as irritate and infuriate you by their constant misinterpretations, always viewing life from behind the screen of their ego and unable to see things as they really are. Meilcour is so caught up in himself he cannot see that Madame is expecting him to make the bold move to which she will have to succumb. His hesitation shows that he is thinking of himself, not of her; that he is working about how he will look, not feeling overwhelmed by her charms. Nothing could be more anti-seductive. Recognize such types, and if they are past the young age that would give them an excuse, do not entangle yourself in their awkwardness — they will infect you with doubt.
Remember: seduction is a game of attention, of slowly filling the other person’s mind with your presence. Distance and inattention will create the opposite effect, and can be used as a tactic when the need arises.
Pay close attention to their clothes, their gestures, their offhand comments, the things in their house, certain looks in their eyes; get them to talk about their past, particularly past romances. And slowly the outline of those missing pieces will come into view. Understand: people are constantly giving out signals as to what they lack. They long for completeness, whether the illusion of it or the reality, and if it has to come from another person, that person has tremendous power over them. We may call them victims of a seduction, but they are almost always willing victims.
Never try to seduce someone who is of your own type. You will be like two puzzles missing the same parts.
This often assumes the form of a great interest in spiritual matters or in some worthwhile cause; by focusing on something supposedly elevated, they distract themselves from their own void, from what they dislike about themselves.
Once the victim is properly intrigued, you need to transform their interest into something stronger — desire. Desire is generally preceded by feelings of emptiness, of something missing inside that needs fulfillment.
The perfect victim is the person who stirs you in a way that cannot be explained in words, whose effect on you has nothing to do with superficialities. He or she often has a quality that you yourself lack, and may even secretly envy.
Test the person first. Once you feel that he or she is also vulnerable to you then the hunting can begin.
It is a stroke of good fortune to find one who is worth seducing….Most people rush ahead, become engaged or do other stupid things, and in a turn of the hand everything is over, and they know neither what they have won nor what they have lost.
How do you recognize your victims? By the way they respond to you. You should not pay so much attention to their conscious responses — a person who is obviously trying to please or charm you is probably playing to your vanity, and wants something from you. Instead, pay greater attention to those responses outside conscious control — a blush, an involuntary mirroring of some gesture of yours, an unusual shyness, even perhaps flash of anger or resentment. All of these show that you are having an effect on a person who is open to your influence.
Like Valmont, you can also recognize the right targets by the effect they are having on you. Perhaps they make you uneasy — perhaps they correspond to a deep-rooted childhood ideal, or represent some kind of personal taboo that excites you, or suggest the person you imagine you would be if you were the opposite sex. When a person has such a deep effect on you, it transforms all of your subsequent maneuvers. Your face and gestures become more animated. You have more energy;
There is nothing more effective in seduction than making the seduced think that they are the ones doing the seducing.
Take a step back; let the thoughts you are provoking come to them as if they were their own.
No one can see you as someone to follow or fall in love with unless they first reflect on themselves somehow, and on what they are missing. Before the seduction proceeds, you must place a mirror in front of them in which they glimpse that inner emptiness. Made aware of a lack, they now can focus on you as the person who can fill that empty space. Remember: most of us are lazy. To relieve our feelings of boredom or inadequacy on our own takes too much effort; letting someone else do the job is both easier and more exciting. The desire to have someone fill up our emptiness is the weakness on which all seducers prey. Make people anxious about the future, make them depressed, make them question their identity, make them sense the boredom that gnaws at their life.
Corporations and politicians know that they cannot seduce their public into buying what they want them to buy, or doing what they want them to do unless they first awaken a sense of need and disconnect. Make the masses uncertain about their identity and you can help define it for them.
A passing comment suggests that something about the victim interests you; but keep it subtle, your words revealing a possibility, creating a doubt. You are planting seeds that will take root in the weeks to come. When you are not there, your targets will fantasize about the ideas you have stirred up, and brood upon the doubts.
What distinguishes a suggestion from other kinds of psychical influence, such as a command or the giving of a piece of information or instruction, is that in the case of a suggestion an idea is aroused in another person’s brain which is not examined in regard to its origin but is accepted jus as tough it had arisen spontaneously in that brain.
The way insinuation works is simple: disguised in a banal remark or encounter, a hint is dropped. It is about some emotional issue — a possible pleasure not yet attained, a lack of excitement in a person’s life. The hint registers in the back of the target’s mind, a subtle stab at his or her insecurities; its source is quickly forgotten. It is too subtle to be memorable at the time, and later, when it takes root and grows, it seems to have emerged naturally from the target’s own mind, as if it was there all along. Insinuation lets you bypass people’s natural resistance, for they seem to be listening only to what has originated in themselves. It is a language on its own, communicating directly with the unconscious.
Temptation is a twofold process. First you are coquettish, flirtatious; you stimulate a desire by promising pleasure and distraction from daily life. At the same time, you make it clear to your targets that they cannot have you, at least not right away. You are establishing a barrier, some kind of tension.
The key is to see words as a tool not for communicating true thoughts and feelings but for confusing, delighting, and intoxicating.
Promise something realizable, something possible, but do not make it too specific; you are inviting them to dream. If they are mired in dull routine, talk of adventure, preferably with you. Do not discuss how it will be accomplished; speak as if it magically already existed, somewhere in the future. Lift people’s thoughts into the clouds and they will relax, their defenses will come down, and it will be that much easier to maneuver and lead them astray. Your words become a kind of elevating drug.
Your audience will be so caught up in your bold language that they won’t have time to reflect on whether or not it is true. Never say “I don’t think the other side made a wise decision”; say “We deserve better”, or “They have made a mess of things”. Affirmative language is active language, full of verbs, imperatives, and short sentences. Cut out “I believe”, “Perhaps”, “In my opinion”. Head straight for the heart.

the siren must distinguish herself from other woman , she is by nature a rare thing, mythic, only one to the group,she is also a valuable prize to be wrested away from other man.
the more he chases, the more he is likely to feel like acting on his initiative.
Danger is critical in seduction, it adds emotional spice and is particularly appealing to men today.
the siren must stimulate a ...

2012-08-27 09:00

the siren must distinguish herself from other woman , she is by nature a rare thing, mythic, only one to the group,she is also a valuable prize to be wrested away from other man.

the more he chases, the more he is likely to feel like acting on his initiative.

Danger is critical in seduction, it adds emotional spice and is particularly appealing to men today.

the siren must stimulate a generalized desire, and the best way to do this is by creating an overall impression that is both distracting and alluring.

Intense desire has a distracting power on a woman , just as the Siren's physical presence does on a man.A woman is often defensive and can sense insincerity or calculation. Bt if she feels consumed by your attention, and is confident you will do anything for her, she will notice nothing else about you, or will find a way to forgive your discretions.
Seduction is a psychological process that tra...(1回应)

2012-08-30 08:32

Intense desire has a distracting power on a woman , just as the Siren's physical presence does on a man.A woman is often defensive and can sense insincerity or calculation. Bt if she feels consumed by your attention, and is confident you will do anything for her, she will notice nothing else about you, or will find a way to forgive your discretions.

Seduction is a psychological process that transcends gender, except in a few key areas where each gender has its own weakness.The male is traditionally vulnerable to the visual. For women the weakness is languages and words.

Danger and taboo appeals to the repressed side in women, who are supposed to represent a civilizing, moralizing forces in culture. Just as a man fall victim to the Siren through his desire to be free of his sense of masculine responsibility, a woman may succumb to the Rake through her yearning to be free of the contraints of virtue and decency. Indeed it is often the most virtuous woman who falls deeply in love with the Rake.

Fire, the Rake burns with a desire that enflames the woman he is seducing. It is extreme, uncontrollable, and dangerous. The Rake may fall in hell, but the flames surrounding him often make him seem that much more desirable to women.

Intense desire has a distractingpower on a woman, just as the Siren's physical presence does on a man. A woman is often defensive and can sense insincerity or calculation.But if she feels consumed by your attentions, and is confident you will do anything for her, she will notice nothing else about you, or will find a way to forgive your indiscretions. This is the perfect cover for a seducer. The k...

2012-12-06 11:10

Intense desire has a distractingpower on a woman, just as the Siren's physical presence does on a man. A woman is often defensive and can sense insincerity or calculation.But if she feels consumed by your attentions, and is confident you will do anything for her, she will notice nothing else about you, or will find a way to forgive your indiscretions. This is the perfect cover for a seducer. The key is to show no hesitation, to abandon all restraint, to let yourself go, to show that you cannot control yourself and are fundamentally weak. Do not worry about inspiring mistrust; as long as you are the slave to her charms, she will not think of the aftermath.

The seductive process:
- Phase one: Separation - Stirring interest and desire
Choose the right victim
Create a false sense of security - approach indirectly
Send mixed signals
Appear to be an object of desire - create triangles
Create a need-stir anxiety and discontent
Master the art of insinuation
Enter the spirit
Create temptation
- Phase two: Lead Astray - Creating pleasure and confusion
Keep them suspense - What comes next?
Use the demonic power of words to sow confusion
Pay attention to details
Poeticize your presence
Disarm through strategic weakness and vulnerability
Confuse desire and reality - the perfect illusion
Isolate the victim
- Phase three: The precipice - Deepening the effect through extreme measures
Prove yourself
Effect a regression
Stir up the transgressive and taboo
Use spiritual lures
Mix pleasure with pain
- Phase four: Moving in for the kill
Give them space to fall - The pursuer is pursued
Use physical lures
Master the art of the bold move
Beware the aftereffects
But even if much has changed in degree and scope, the essence of seduction is constant: never be forceful or direct; instead, use pleasure as bait, playing on people’s emotions, stirring desire and confusion, inducing psychological surrender.
Creating love and enchantment becomes the model for all seductions — sexual, social, political. A person in love will surrender.
They also train themselves to be sensitive to pleasure, knowing that feeling pleasure themselves will make it that much easier for them to infect the people around them.
Seduction is a kind of theater in real life, the meeting of illusion and reality.
Her deepest need was to feel loved and desired, which made her seem constantly vulnerable, like a little girl craving protection. She emanated this need for love before the camera; it was effortless, coming from somewhere real and deep inside. A look or gesture that she did not intend to arouse desire would do so doubly powerfully just because it was unintended — it was unintended — its innocence was precisely what excited a man.
Her time never seems to be taken up by work or chores; she gives the impression that she lives for pleasure and is always available. What separates the Sex Siren from the courtesan or whore is her touch of innocence and vulnerability. The mix is perversely satisfying: it gives the male the critical illusion that he is a protector, the father figure, although it is actually the Sex Siren who controls the dynamic.
The Siren never speaks quickly, aggressively, or at a high pitch. Her voice is calm and unhurried, as if she had never quite woken up — or left her bed.
Your gestures must have a certain ambiguity, suggesting something both innocent and erotic. Anything that cannot immediately be understood is supremely seductive, and all the more so if it permeates your manner.
A woman never quite feels desired and appreciated enough. She wants attention, but a man is too often distracted and unresponsive.
In seduction there is often a dilemma: to seduce you need planning and calculation, but if your victim suspects that you have ulterior motives, she will grow defensive. Furthermore, if you seem to be in control, you will inspire fear instead of desire.
Intense desire has a distracting power on a woman, just as the SIren’s physical presence does on a man. A woman is often defensive and can sense insincerity or calculation. But if she feels consumed by your attentions, and is confident you will do anything for her, she will notice nothing else about you, or will find a way to forgive your indiscretions. This is the perfect cover for a seducer. The key is to show no hesitation, to abandon all restraint, to let yourself to, to show that you cannot control yourself and are fundamentally weak. Do not worry about inspiring mistrust: as long as you are the slave to her charms, she will not think of the aftermath.
The use of words as a subtle poison has infinite applications. Remember: it is the form that matters, not the content. The less your targets focus on what you say, and the more on how it makes them feel, the more seductive your effect. Give your words a lofty, spiritual, literary flavor the better to insinuate desire in your unwitting victims.
To play the Rake, the most obvious requirement is the ability to let yourself go, to draw a woman into the kind of purely sensual moment in which past and future lose meaning. You must be able to abandon yourself to the moment. And added benefit of this quality is that it makes you seem unable to control yourself, a display of weakness that a woman enjoys. By abandoning yourself to the seduced, you make them feel that you exist for them alone — a feeling reflecting a truth, though a temporary one.
The ideal lover is rare in the modern world, for the role takes effort. You will have to focus intensely on the other person, fathom what she is missing. What he is disappointed by. People will often reveal this in subtle ways: through gesture, tone of voice, a look in the eye. By seeming to be what they lack, you will fit their ideal.
The key to following the path of the ideal lover is the ability to observe. Ignore your targets’ words and conscious behavior: focus on the tone of their voice, a blush here, a look there — those signs that betray what their words won’t say.
The troubadour role is an ideal because people who do not put themselves and their own interests first are truly rare. For a woman to attract the intense attention of such a man is immensely appealing to her vanity.
Yet nothing is more seductive than patient attentiveness. It makes the affair seem lofty, aesthetic, not really about sex.
If ideal lovers are masters at seducing people by appealing to their higher selves, to something lost from their childhood, politicians can benefit by applying this skill on a mass scale, to an entire electorate.
He wooed as a woman would woo if she were a man — slowly, attentively, paying attention to details, setting a rhythm instead of hurrying to a conclusion.
Seduction was and will always remain the female form of power and warfare.
A man’s apparent independence, his capacity for detachment, often seems to give him the upper hand in the dynamic between men and women. A purely feminine woman will arose desire, but is always vulnerable to the man’s capricious loss of interest; a purely masculine woman, on the other hand, will not arouse that interest at all.
The royal road to seduction is to play up your vulnerability and helplessness. You cannot make this obvious, to seem to be begging for sympathy is to seem needy, which is entirely anti-seductive. Do not proclaim yourself a victim or underdog, but reveal it in your manner, in your confusion. A display of “natural” weakness will make you instantly lovable, both lowering people’s defenses and making them feel delightfully superior to you. Put yourself in situations that make you seem weak, in which someone else has the advantage; they are the bully, you are the innocent lamb. Without any effort on your part, people will feel sympathy for you. Once people’s eyes cloud over with sentimental mist, they will not see how you are manipulating them.
A bout of distance engages the emotions further; instead of making us angry, it makes us insecure. Perhaps they don’t really like us, perhaps we have lost their interest. Once our vanity is at stack, we succumb to the Coquette just to prove we are still desirable. Remember: the essence of the Coquette lies not in the tease and temptation but in the subsequent step back, the emotional withdrawal. That is the key to enslaving desire.
Sadness of any sort is also seductive, particularly if it seems deep-rooted, even spiritual, rather than needy or pathetic — it makes people come to you.
In a world of bluff and smoke, real action and true helpfulness are perhaps the ultimate charm.
Our personalities are often molded by how we are treated: if a parent or spouse is defensive or argumentative in dealing with us, we tend to respond the same way. Never mistake people’s exterior characteristics for reality, for the character they show on the surface may be merely a reflection of the people with whom they have been most in contact, or a front disguising its own opposite. A gruff exterior may hide a person dying for warmth; a repressed, sober-looking type may actually be struggling to conceal uncontrollable emotions. That is the key to charm — feeding what has been repressed or denied.
Indulgence is a powerful tool of seduction: it is hard to be angry or defensive with someone who seems to agree with your opinions and tastes. Charmers may appear to be weaker than their targets but in the end they are the more powerful side because they have stolen the ability to resist.
First, they don’t talk much about themselves, which heightens their mystery and disguises their limitations. Second, they seem to be interested in us, and their interest is so delightfully focused that we relax and open up to them. Finally, Charmers are pleasant to be around. They have none of most people’s ugly qualities — nagging, complaining, self-assertion. They seem to know what pleases. Theirs is a diffused warmth; union without sex.(You may think a geisha is sexual as well as charming; her power, however, lies not in the sexual favors she provides but in her rare self-effacing attentiveness.) Inevitably, we become addicted, and dependent. And dependence is the source of the Charmer’s power.
Since most people are predictable, the effect of these contradictions is devastatingly charismatic. They make you hard to fathom, add richness to your character, make people talk about you. It is often better to reveal your contradictions slowly and subtly — if you throw them out one on top of the other, people may think you have an erratic personality. Show your mysteriousness gradually and word will spread. You must also keep people at arm’s length, to keep them from figuring you out.
Genuine charisma thus means the ability to internally generate and externally express extreme excitement, an ability which makes one the object of intense attention and unreflective imitation by others.
People do not want to hear that your power comes from years of effort or discipline. They prefer to think that it comes from your personality, your character, something you were born with.
Most of us live in a semi-somnambulistic state: we do our daily tasks and the days fly by. The two exceptions to this are childhood and those moments when we are in love. In both cases, our emotions are more engaged, more open and active. And we equate feeling emotional with feeling more alive. A public figure who can affect people’s emotions , who can make them feel communal sadness, joy, or hope, has a similar effect. An appeal to the emotions is far more powerful than an appeal to reason.
Seduction is a form of persuasion that seeks to bypass consciousness, stirring the unconscious mind instead. The reason for this is simple: we are so surrounded by stimuli that compete for our attention, bombarding us with obvious messages, and by people who are overtly political and manipulative. that we are rarely charmed or deceived by them. We have grown increasingly cynical. Try to persuade a person by appealing to their consciousness, by saying outright what you want, by showing all your cards, and what hope do you have? You are just one more irritation to be tuned out.
To avoid this fate you must learn the art of insinuation, of reaching the unconscious. The most eloquent expression of the unconscious is the dream, which is intricately connected to myth; waking from a dream, we are often haunted by its images and ambiguous messages. Dreams obsess us because they mix the real and the unreal. They are filled with real characters, and often deal with real situations, yet they are delightfully irrational, pushing realities to the extremes of delirium. If everything in a dream were realistic, it would have no power over us; if everything were unreal, we would feel less involved in its pleasures and fears. Its fusion of the two is what makes it haunting. This is what Freud called the “uncanny”: something that seems simultaneously strange and familiar.
The count had all the Star qualities. Everything about him was ambiguous and warhol and open to interpretation.
Seducers draw you in by the focused, individualized attention they pay to you.
If seduction is a kind of ceremony or ritual, part of the pleasure is its duration — the time it takes, the waiting that increases anticipation. Brutes have no patience for such things; they are concerned only with their own pleasure, never with yours. To be patient is to show that you are thinking of the other person, which never fails to impress. Impatience has the opposite effect: assuming you are so interested in them you have no reason to wait, Brutes offend you with their egotism. Underneath that egotism, too, there is often a gnawing sense of inferiority, and if you spam them or make them wait, they overreact. If you suspect you are dealing with a Brute, do a test — make that person wait. His or her response will tell you everything you need to know.
Suffocates fall in love with you before you are even half-aware of their existence. The trait is deceptive — you might think they have found you overwhelming — but the fact is they suffer from an inner void, a deep well of need that cannot be filled. Never get involved with Suffocators; they are almost impossible to free yourself from without trauma. They cling to you until you are forced to pull back, where upon they smother you with guilt. We need to idealized a loved one, but love takes time to develop. Recognize Suffocates by how quickly they adore you. Te be so admired may give a momentary boost to your ego, but deep inside you sense that their intense emotions are not related to anything you have done. Trust these instincts.
A lot of people pay too little attention to the details, the signals another person gives. Their senses are dulled by work, by hardship, by self-absorption.
There is nothing more anti-seductive than feeling that someone has assumed that you are theirs, that you cannot possibly resist them. The slightest appearance of this kind of conceit is deadly to seduction: you must prove yourself, take your time, win your target’s heart. Perhaps you fear that he or she will be offended by a slower pace, or will lose interest. It is more likely, however, that your fear reflects your own insecurity, and insecurity is always anti-seductive. In truth, the longer you take, the more you show the depth of your interest, and the deeper the spell you create.
In a world of few formalities and ceremony, seduction is one of the few remnants from the past that retains the ancient patterns. It is a ritual, and its rites must be observed. Haste reveals not the depth of your feelings but the degree of your self-absorption. It may be possible sometimes to hurry someone into love, but you will only be repaid by the lack of pleasure this kind of love affords. If you are naturally impetuous, do what you can to disguise it. Strangely enough, the effort you spend on holding yourself back may be read by your target as deeply seductive.
Seduction is all about signed — about being able to send them and read them.
But even she cannot overcome the youthful stupidity of Meilcour, who is incapable of reading her signs because he is absorbed in his own thoughts. Later in the story, she does manage to educate him, but in real life there are many who cannot be educated. They are too literal and insensitive to the details that contain seductive power. They do not so much repel as irritate and infuriate you by their constant misinterpretations, always viewing life from behind the screen of their ego and unable to see things as they really are. Meilcour is so caught up in himself he cannot see that Madame is expecting him to make the bold move to which she will have to succumb. His hesitation shows that he is thinking of himself, not of her; that he is working about how he will look, not feeling overwhelmed by her charms. Nothing could be more anti-seductive. Recognize such types, and if they are past the young age that would give them an excuse, do not entangle yourself in their awkwardness — they will infect you with doubt.
Remember: seduction is a game of attention, of slowly filling the other person’s mind with your presence. Distance and inattention will create the opposite effect, and can be used as a tactic when the need arises.
Pay close attention to their clothes, their gestures, their offhand comments, the things in their house, certain looks in their eyes; get them to talk about their past, particularly past romances. And slowly the outline of those missing pieces will come into view. Understand: people are constantly giving out signals as to what they lack. They long for completeness, whether the illusion of it or the reality, and if it has to come from another person, that person has tremendous power over them. We may call them victims of a seduction, but they are almost always willing victims.
Never try to seduce someone who is of your own type. You will be like two puzzles missing the same parts.
This often assumes the form of a great interest in spiritual matters or in some worthwhile cause; by focusing on something supposedly elevated, they distract themselves from their own void, from what they dislike about themselves.
Once the victim is properly intrigued, you need to transform their interest into something stronger — desire. Desire is generally preceded by feelings of emptiness, of something missing inside that needs fulfillment.
The perfect victim is the person who stirs you in a way that cannot be explained in words, whose effect on you has nothing to do with superficialities. He or she often has a quality that you yourself lack, and may even secretly envy.
Test the person first. Once you feel that he or she is also vulnerable to you then the hunting can begin.
It is a stroke of good fortune to find one who is worth seducing….Most people rush ahead, become engaged or do other stupid things, and in a turn of the hand everything is over, and they know neither what they have won nor what they have lost.
How do you recognize your victims? By the way they respond to you. You should not pay so much attention to their conscious responses — a person who is obviously trying to please or charm you is probably playing to your vanity, and wants something from you. Instead, pay greater attention to those responses outside conscious control — a blush, an involuntary mirroring of some gesture of yours, an unusual shyness, even perhaps flash of anger or resentment. All of these show that you are having an effect on a person who is open to your influence.
Like Valmont, you can also recognize the right targets by the effect they are having on you. Perhaps they make you uneasy — perhaps they correspond to a deep-rooted childhood ideal, or represent some kind of personal taboo that excites you, or suggest the person you imagine you would be if you were the opposite sex. When a person has such a deep effect on you, it transforms all of your subsequent maneuvers. Your face and gestures become more animated. You have more energy;
There is nothing more effective in seduction than making the seduced think that they are the ones doing the seducing.
Take a step back; let the thoughts you are provoking come to them as if they were their own.
No one can see you as someone to follow or fall in love with unless they first reflect on themselves somehow, and on what they are missing. Before the seduction proceeds, you must place a mirror in front of them in which they glimpse that inner emptiness. Made aware of a lack, they now can focus on you as the person who can fill that empty space. Remember: most of us are lazy. To relieve our feelings of boredom or inadequacy on our own takes too much effort; letting someone else do the job is both easier and more exciting. The desire to have someone fill up our emptiness is the weakness on which all seducers prey. Make people anxious about the future, make them depressed, make them question their identity, make them sense the boredom that gnaws at their life.
Corporations and politicians know that they cannot seduce their public into buying what they want them to buy, or doing what they want them to do unless they first awaken a sense of need and disconnect. Make the masses uncertain about their identity and you can help define it for them.
A passing comment suggests that something about the victim interests you; but keep it subtle, your words revealing a possibility, creating a doubt. You are planting seeds that will take root in the weeks to come. When you are not there, your targets will fantasize about the ideas you have stirred up, and brood upon the doubts.
What distinguishes a suggestion from other kinds of psychical influence, such as a command or the giving of a piece of information or instruction, is that in the case of a suggestion an idea is aroused in another person’s brain which is not examined in regard to its origin but is accepted jus as tough it had arisen spontaneously in that brain.
The way insinuation works is simple: disguised in a banal remark or encounter, a hint is dropped. It is about some emotional issue — a possible pleasure not yet attained, a lack of excitement in a person’s life. The hint registers in the back of the target’s mind, a subtle stab at his or her insecurities; its source is quickly forgotten. It is too subtle to be memorable at the time, and later, when it takes root and grows, it seems to have emerged naturally from the target’s own mind, as if it was there all along. Insinuation lets you bypass people’s natural resistance, for they seem to be listening only to what has originated in themselves. It is a language on its own, communicating directly with the unconscious.
Temptation is a twofold process. First you are coquettish, flirtatious; you stimulate a desire by promising pleasure and distraction from daily life. At the same time, you make it clear to your targets that they cannot have you, at least not right away. You are establishing a barrier, some kind of tension.
The key is to see words as a tool not for communicating true thoughts and feelings but for confusing, delighting, and intoxicating.
Promise something realizable, something possible, but do not make it too specific; you are inviting them to dream. If they are mired in dull routine, talk of adventure, preferably with you. Do not discuss how it will be accomplished; speak as if it magically already existed, somewhere in the future. Lift people’s thoughts into the clouds and they will relax, their defenses will come down, and it will be that much easier to maneuver and lead them astray. Your words become a kind of elevating drug.
Your audience will be so caught up in your bold language that they won’t have time to reflect on whether or not it is true. Never say “I don’t think the other side made a wise decision”; say “We deserve better”, or “They have made a mess of things”. Affirmative language is active language, full of verbs, imperatives, and short sentences. Cut out “I believe”, “Perhaps”, “In my opinion”. Head straight for the heart.

Time is the greatest weapon you have. Patiently keep in mind a longterm goal and neither person nor army can resist you. And charm is the best way of playing for time, of widening your options in any situation. Through charm you can seduce your enemy into backing off, giving you the psychological space to plot an effective counterstrategy. The key is to make other people emotional while you remain...

2012-12-18 11:37

Time is the greatest weapon you have. Patiently keep in mind a longterm goal and neither person nor army can resist you. And charm is the best way of playing for time, of widening your options in any situation. Through charm you can seduce your enemy into backing off, giving you the psychological space to plot an effective counterstrategy. The key is to make other people emotional while you remain detached. They may feel grateful, happy, moved, arrogant—it doesn't matter, as long as they feel. An emotional person is a distracted person. Give them what they want, appeal to their self-interest, make them feel superior to you. When a baby has grabbed a sharp knife, do not try to grab it back; instead, stay calm, offer candy, and the baby will drop the knife to pick up the tempting morsel you offer.

You must first understand a critical property of love and desire: the more obviously you
pursue a person, the more likely you are to chase them away. Too much attention can be interesting for a while, but it soon grows cloying and finally becomes claustrophobic and frightening. It signals weakness and neediness, an unseductive combination. How often we make this mistake, thinking our persistent p...(1回应)

2012-12-17 15:43

You must first understand a critical property of love and desire: the more obviously you

pursue a person, the more likely you are to chase them away. Too much attention can be interesting for a while, but it soon grows cloying and finally becomes claustrophobic and frightening. It signals weakness and neediness, an unseductive combination. How often we make this mistake, thinking our persistent presence will reassure.

Intense desire has a distractingpower on a woman, just as the Siren's physical presence does on a man. A woman is often defensive and can sense insincerity or calculation.But if she feels consumed by your attentions, and is confident you will do anything for her, she will notice nothing else about you, or will find a way to forgive your indiscretions. This is the perfect cover for a seducer. The k...

2012-12-06 11:10

Intense desire has a distractingpower on a woman, just as the Siren's physical presence does on a man. A woman is often defensive and can sense insincerity or calculation.But if she feels consumed by your attentions, and is confident you will do anything for her, she will notice nothing else about you, or will find a way to forgive your indiscretions. This is the perfect cover for a seducer. The key is to show no hesitation, to abandon all restraint, to let yourself go, to show that you cannot control yourself and are fundamentally weak. Do not worry about inspiring mistrust; as long as you are the slave to her charms, she will not think of the aftermath.