Silver Plated B, be sure and send me a copy of that manual also! I have 4 kiddos ages 17, 14, 7, and 4. My husband was yelling at the TV for you to knock out mister holy roller! Good luck on ya'lls 15 minutes of fame and keep posting!

Lucy, you had me laughing aloud, once more. I think my favorite comments were about Bill of the "little man" complex. I think we'll all have to agree that he is a piece of work. When the girls gave Baptist mom the makeover I actually liked her for loosening up a little.
The hippie family seems to be a close and loving group. I'd have to draw the line at all the holes being stuck in people, but to each his own.
Thanks again, Lucy.

Cristina and I have always felt humbled by the things people have said throighout the years regarding our children and the job we've done as parents.

We would love to write you a "manual"!

We'll start with one question/topic at a time.

to the FORT Allan! Hope I spelled your name correctly. You guys were awesome and I loved the way your children helped loosen up Bible Mom. My question for you ... I was quiet disturbed by the fact that Brittany had been told by her parents that they favored the younger boy over her and that they hated her. Do you see this changing with the Bible Mom and Brittany? Also, I want to commend you and your wife for the adult behaviour you shown, even after Bible Dad was making a real a$$ out of himself. I am sure your wife had a fun two weeks spending time with him

The manual starts with one question/topic at a time and that will have to come from you guys.

Hmmm.... ok, I'll start.

Dr. Phil (snicker) says kids need limits and boundaries, yet you have seemed to raise exceptionally bright and level headed kids who all seem to know family is what is most important. The also rise to the occasion well and with grace and tact when faced with narrow minded people. Your family certainly is a bit more unconventional than mine (my then-13 year old step-son showed up for Thanksgiving with a diamond stud and his father hit the roof.... but has since accepted it, for the most part,) and it seems like you do have a lot less of the "rules" most parents of teens think are the norm.
What do you think consititutes a good boundary for a teenager's freedom?

:My question for you ... I was quiet disturbed by the fact that Brittany had been told by her parents that they favored the younger boy over her and that they hated her. Do you see this changing with the Bible Mom and Brittany?

It would be in bad form for me to comment on the show in a public forum such as this.

The questions I reffered to should be of a non show related context regarding parenting in your own lives.

Dr. Phil (snicker) says kids need limits and boundaries, yet you have seemed to raise exceptionally bright and level headed kids who all seem to know family is what is most important. They also rise to the occasion well and with grace and tact when faced with narrow minded people. Your family certainly is a bit more unconventional than mine (my then-13 year old step-son showed up for Thanksgiving with a diamond stud and his father hit the roof.... but has since accepted it, for the most part,) and it seems like you do have a lot less of the "rules" most parents of teens think are the norm.
What do you think consititutes a good boundary for a teenager's freedom?

I agree that children/teenagers need limits and boundaries. Though our kids can get pierced at 16 voluntarily, 18 is the legal age in our state for tattoos so, none of our kids are tattooed. 18 year old Xaundelle still hasn't gotten one. That's her choice.

Our kids don't have "curfews" but they know that they're expected home at a reasonable time and we usually determine that time together.

Because 2 of our children are still minors and state curfew is 11 pm, if they are out after 11 pm they are out with someone over 18 and usually either at someone's house, the movies, a concert or at our church's house of prayer (that just sounds weird... but it isn't). They're not allowed to be out in the streets unsupervised by a legal adult after 11pm. That's illegal.

This is how we went about it. From the beginning we treated our children like humans, not things. I think this is very important. We really didn't do much "baby talk". Don't dumb down your kids.

As they grow parents set limits and boundaries for their protection, etc.

When they become adolescents, listen to them. They're trying to figure out themselves. You, as the parent, are the natural place for them to go to for answers. And parents, when did you forget what it was like to be 12-19? You have to use common sense.

As they enter their teen years you've got to keep a level head. Be practical and not over bearing. COMMUNICATE! That's the secret. If you're afraid of them growing up, you'll impose irrational rules and restrictions based out of fear and ignorance causing the exact opposite results. Don't place your own fears and insecurities on them. You should have tackled these issues already anyway. You want them to come to you not be repelled by you. You want them to adapt your ways not buckle them. You want them to see you as their strength and place of refuge in a storm not the enemy within the camp.

Only through open communication, growing pains, extra, extra love and patience can this be achieved. You also have to model your ideals not just talk about it.

I think common sense, mutual respect and mutual understanding regarding boundaries are essential for the foundation in developing a teenager's freedom. Otherwise you have rebellion and frustration on your part.

I know this is just glazing over a lot so if you have specifics, ask away.