How to Rekindle the Passion—Between You and Your Job

A job is a lot like a relationship: It's fun and exciting at first, but after a while, the butterflies can turn into blahs. Mika Brzezinski, cohost of Morning Joe and Cosmo career coach, shows you how to rekindle the passion.

Mar 20, 2013

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A job is a lot like a relationship: It's fun and exciting at first, but after a while, the butterflies can turn into blahs. Mika Brzezinski, cohost of MSNBC's "Morning Joe" and Cosmo career coach, shows you how to rekindle the passion.

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Think back on all the reasons you happy-danced around your apartment the day your boss called with the job offer. If it was the new responsibility, make sure you're asking for plenty of it. If it was a sweet perk like flexible hours, take advantage of it guilt-free. If you were excited about learning from smart managers, ask one to get coffee with you to forge a connection and possibly even a mentor.

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I know it sounds cheesy, but try smiling: It actually makes you happier, according to university researchers in Japan. Think about the rest of your body language too, because your physical presence makes a huge difference in how your coworkers interact with you. Nobody wants to give fun projects to a slouchy, brow-furrowed sourpuss, but they do want to collaborate with a person who has an eager expression, wide eyes, and good posture.

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Use Your Vacay Days

Unlike Europeans, who get and take approximately 30 vacation days each year, the average American gets only 12 days off annually. But here's the (even crazier) thing: Most of us use only 10 of them. Stop letting them expire! Trips and staycations keep you motivated and happy by giving you something to look forward to. And spending time outside the office helps you recharge, so you will have more of a spring in your step when you return to work.

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Work on Yourself Outside Work

No matter how soul-crushingly bad things are at the office, remember this: You are not your job. Develop interests outside work. Make art, tutor a child, learn a language, train for a 5K, or do whatever else you find interesting and satisfying. Not only will you feel more fulfilled personally, but you'll also rack up some experiences—the thrill of crossing a finish line, the excitement of teaching somebody something—that may even make you feel more confident (and motivated!) at work.

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In this economy, a regular paycheck is a wonderful thing. But you should never resign yourself to being miserable either. If you've tried all the tips above to no avail, it's time to think about your exit strategy. Give yourself a deadline—for example, "I want a new job within a year"—and begin working toward that goal with a specific task each week. For example, update your LinkedIn profile one week, send three networking e-mails the next. Feeling in control of your destiny beats feeling helpless at work any day.

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