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Hello, my name is "Us" and I am ‘somewhere’. It’s very noisy and there are a lot of people I know, along with some that I don’t, all around me. I feel quite light-headed, it’s like some kind of intense sensory overload being here. As I look around, I notice that in front of me are a large set of double doors set into a wall, kind of like the famous gates of Jurassic Park. The walls are too high for me to see over them, but, short enough for me to see that behind them is a large open park type place with a few buildings rising up.

Over the doors, written in huge letters, it says, “Welcome Guitar Players!” Obviously, I enter. In the back of my mind, I seem to understand that I can enter this place because of something I have previously signed up for, something that gives me access to the other area. However, this was a LONG time ago and I vaguely remember that the personal information I used to gain access was really basic and was in no way cross-checked or verified.

The first impression I have, once inside, is that it is quite exciting. It is a lot more peaceful than outside and it feels comfy, it’s the kind of place I would like to hang out...

All around are small gatherings of people talking to each other. I am instantly drawn to a crowd of people looking at someone’s new piece of gear. As I walk up, giving the gear more than a cursory look, I hear various people saying “Congrats” and “Nice one!”… but there are also a small amount shadowy figures lurking around them saying things like “Should have got this instead” or “it would have been better if…”… these conversations are happening all over the place, all with their own set of shadowy figures. I don’t think the shadowy figures are here for the same reason I am, at least in part, maybe they are here for another reason as well.

As I walk around I see a lot of friends. Some of them I know well, but in a strange way, I get the impression I’ve never actually met them before. It’s like I don’t really know them, but at the same time, I kind of do. It is amazing to see each and every one of them and it makes me feel great if not sometimes a little awkward.

I can see some old guard musical heroes who I can actually go and talk to, but they look like they might be borderline grumpy, so I just say hello and tell them I’m a fan. I sometimes try to draw a commonality with them via a shared experience of their music before I carry on, but only if I can manage to catch their eye of course. There are new musical heroes who are casually talking to everyone, lots of up and coming players attracting a lot of attention and loads of just normal players - players just like me, walking freely between them. It would appear, upon closer inspection, that a lot of these normal players seem to think they belong in the other categories. Some have even made their own nametags declaring this!

Some of the players are excitedly playing people music, sometimes their own, sometimes their version of famous songs. Some are just listening to the music that is readily available elsewhere. Available outside. Available outside outside. On the first impression, it appears that a lot of people are being introduced to music they have not heard before. This is great! But, then again, when I look a little closer, I notice that some of them are literally holding people close to the speakers and shouting “LISTEN TO THIS” and not letting go. Some of them are repeatedly asking if I want to buy a t-shirt, some of them are talking about anything other than guitar gear in the vain hope that other people are listening...

I pause now and then to take in the people who are standing on tall soapboxes, shouting at random people about almost anything. They have a few people close to them, hanging on to every word they say and just blindly agreeing with everything. Those who have the audacity to not actually be listening to them, or those who dare to offer a different point of view, are treated with nothing short of the utmost disdain. Once again, I notice that the shadowy figures are literally everywhere, they seem to like to be wherever there is an element of chaos.

Around the perimeters, there are countless market stalls – some small, some big, and some that are huge. They vary from the ones that have one or two people working on them, desperately trying to keep up with the people who visit, to the ones that appear to have an endless amount of resources and people to respond to the random questions that are being asked. Some are provoking conversations in the hope of catching the attention of the casual passerby while some are tempting people with shiny new gear. At almost every stall there appear to be people who think they are straight up comedians – while some of them are hilarious, a lot of them are very ‘niche’ at best.

Some of these stalls look just like guitar stores and others appear to be set up by gear manufacturers, many are a mixture of both. A lot of them are really colorful, some with hilarious posters hanging on the walls (that seem to change quite often) and there are a lot of people playing the products… A really strange thing I notice is that it’s the same people playing at almost every stall simultaneously. It’s all really weird. There are a lot of people approaching these stalls, but most don’t stay for very long. A lot of the people working the various stalls seem to know each other. Some seem to be legit friends but some appear to be friendly to each other’s faces while being angry and bitter behind each other’s backs. There are a lot of stalls that look the same – similar looking products, similar advertising, similar silly jokes. It’s hard to see which of the stalls was there first so I don’t know who is being original. The most intriguing thing I can see is that some of the stalls appear to be in open warfare with the others. It’s funny watching people openly poaching people from other stalls to bring them to their own.

Scattered around just about everywhere there are, what appear to be, large meetings of people who are talking as if there are old friends. These meetings seem to be named as well, possibly to grab the attention of the people walking around. They all look as if they are having the best time, comparing gear, ideas, music and pretty much anything else you can think of.

As before, there are shadowy figures who jump in to say something controversial before ducking out again… I manage to watch one shadowy figure flit between many of these meetings, start a problem at each one, quickly leave and then do the same thing again and again at other meetings. The shadowy figures are mostly ignored but sometimes they are challenged and, in some cases, quite a violent verbal altercation takes place. Although I can’t identify them at all, I glimpse a look at some of their faces and they do seem to be having the best time imaginable.

Now and then there are what appear to be closed meetings, held within a contained area (the buildings I saw from outside), you can’t see or hear anything that happens within until you are permitted entrance. You have to formally request to go into a lot of these, sometimes it looks easy, some of them have rules posted on the doors and in some, you even have to answer a specified set of questions to gain admittance. The rules of these ‘meeting places’ are absolute and the rules of outside do not apply. In fact, the rules published are the only ones that are in any way policed, although it would appear a lot of people think that the rules of the outside should take precedent.

These meetings are sometimes very busy, sometimes not. Some are just like minded people hanging out but some appear to be sponsored by one of the market stalls around the outside. I go into a couple and mostly they are great. Sometimes, the people inside get very rowdy, acting up, just blatantly going against the rules. These people are usually thrown out, or somehow have their volume turned off for a specific amount of time. It would appear that when people are removed from these places they often get extremely angry and go to other places, (similar to the ones they were in) and straight up insult the people from the other meetings. Once outside the meetings they have just been expelled from, they form into the shadowy figures I have seen running around.

I spend what feels like hours in here, listening, watching and looking at all the people. I’ve really learned a lot in my time here! Once I have really had enough, (it is now excruciatingly loud and overbearing) I can see that a lot of people are angry and I can, and cannot, quite understand why. All around there appear to be people who are thoroughly miserable and can’t find the exit, but at the same time don’t appear to want to find it either. I decide to leave and fortunately find the way out and it’s by the very same set of doors I came in by. As I walk towards the doors, with the noise of everything and everyone ringing in my ears, I look up and notice the sign above them. On the on the back of the sign that welcomed me through the doors is written: “Thank you for visiting the Guitar Community on Facebook, we’ll see you in about 10 minutes (or less, I expect)”.

As I walk away, the doors shut behind me. But it’s even louder out here and everything is chaotic so I look over my shoulder. I look at the doors. I focus on the sign above them. I listen to the delightfully busy murmur from the other side and decide right then to turn around and go straight back in.

The first impression I have, once inside, is that it is quite exciting. It is a lot more peaceful than outside and it feels comfy, it’s the kind of place I would like to hang out... All around are small gatherings of people talking to each other. I am instantly drawn to a crowd of people looking at someone’s new piece of gear. As I walk up, giving the gear more than a cursory look, I hear various people saying “Congrats” and “Nice one!”…

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