How to Get Your Guy to Stop Fixating on Random Sh*t Already

Remember when Kourtney Kardashian brilliantly gave Scott Disick a taste of his own medicine after he kept bugging her for anal sex—and she strapped on a dildo and said, uh, you first buddy? Well, we consulted the experts for tips how get your guy to stop fixating on everything from his sexual "needs" to his insecurities. Here's how to (politely) tell him to shut up already.

Certified sex counselor Ava Cadell says this one is easy. "I recommend that a guy taste his own semen first." Sounds pretty logical to us.

He Keeps Trying to Get You to a Strip Club

Wendy Walsh, PhD, author of The 30-Day Love Detox says to tell your guy that this trip will have to go both ways. "Say that you'd be happy to share the buffet and overpriced cocktails at a strip club—if he'll come to a male strip club with you first," she says. Of course, if both of those options sound crappy to you, tell him you'd like him to take you to a place that gets you off, too, like the shoe department at Saks.

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Another option? Create the fantasy for him—without all the other gyrating, scantily-clad ladies. "Invite him to your strip club—in the privacy of your bedroom," suggests certified sex therapist Laurie J. Watson.

He Can't Deal With Your Vibe

"He thinks a vibrator is better than the old boy he's got," Watson says. "His doesn't buzz, shake, light up, or turn circles… talk about penis envy." The solution: Bring him in on the vibe action, using it on his perineum during sex. Or, Walsh suggests trying the We-Vibe, which couples can use together.

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He's Obsessed With the Fact That You Make More

"You have to understand that his wallowing about the size of his paycheck is exactly the same as a girlfriend saying 'Does my butt look fat in this?'" Walsh says. He wants reassurance that you love him. So, if his paycheck isn't so big, reassure him that his other awesome traits are what's keeping you there. Basically, it comes down to respect, Cadell says. Some guys define themselves by outdated male ideals—like bringing home the bacon. Tell him that you love and respect him no matter what his paycheck, and point out all of the things you love about him.

He's Pushing to Get Engaged; You're Not Ready

This is another easy one Cadell says: "He wants to take you off the market, so tell him that you'll accept a friendship ring." He gets what he wants—a symbol that you're "taken," so to speak—and you don't need to feel confined to an official pre-marriage commitment.

He Wants Babies, Like, Yesterday

If you're not ready, it's important to stress your position on this issue. "Tell him that you will let him know when you are ready to have a baby, " says Cadell. Case closed.