'Gossip Girl' recap: Dan, Olivia, and Vanessa get REEEEAAAAALLLLY close

You can tell it was a good episode of Gossip Girl because the much-hyped threesome wasn’t even the best part. In fact, it kinda yielded mixed emotions…at least from me. Hilary Duff attempting to be sexy just felt, uh, weird. I had a similar reaction to seeing Julie Andrews naked in the movie S.O.B. It’s just not something you want to see, kinda like grown women wearing Loony Tunes paraphernalia. But, honestly, the whole thing was pretty chaste. Aside from a shot of them all in bed together in the end, it was basically no more risqué than a game of spin the bottle.

I still really think a guy-on-guy-on-guy love story would have been hotter but that could be my own personal bias. Chuck needed to somehow be involved in this situation. He’s the sexually adventurous one. Dan’s and Vanessa’s idea of experimenting is picking out exotic teas at the coffee shop.

I like where this is all going though with Vanessa and Olivia getting into it next week. Vanessa has CLEARLY never gotten over Dan and I’m sure there was a part of her (I’ll let you guess which part) that was completely thrilled at the chance of sleeping with Dan. Take her down, Olivia!

The storyline I enjoyed more than all the ménage a trois action was Jenny’s.

One of my big problems with this season so far was that there wasn’t really a villain or anyone to unite the cast against. Well, folks, that sure has changed. Jenny’s evolution into a true Upper East Side beast is totally fantastic. I don’t buy that she could become this popular with those clothes or that hair but whatever (Also did we always know that her middle name was Tallulah? Where in the hell did that come from?). Her cotillion dress was a little underwhelming too and what was with the gloves? Still, I love Jenny and Eric going at it. This is developing into a really fun rivalry. It’s like a younger (and gayer) Serena and Blair, complete with a blonde versus a brunette.

We were introduced last night to a new character, Kira Abernathy who appears to be Eric’s new partner in crime. I think Kira could be my new fave character, a substitute for the loss I feel for Nelly Yuki. I loooooved (and laughed out loud) when Eric promised Kira that next time they would take Jenny down “for good.” I only wish he had a mustache to twirl although I’m not sure he’s old enough to grow facial hair.

Farewell to Eric’s boyfriend, Jonathan. You were kinda boring and your bangs were not good. Also, Gossip Girl has no place for people with ethics and morals. It’s a show for those that love plotting and bitching. Either get on or get out of the way. With Bad Bangs gone, it’s time for Eric to get a hot boyfriend. Or maybe reunite with some of his cute camp friends. While we’re on the subject, let’s have some flashbacks to camp time. Clearly, this was not the same camp in The Parent Trap.

Fighting with Jenny also brought the joy in Blair, who was like her old self again: condescending and rude. It was nice to have her back. But Jenny might have won this round, particularly after delivering this line: “Your era is over. And so is that headband.”

What the hell is going on with Chuck? Is Ed Westwick filming a movie or something? Because his screentime has been so diminished this season so far. In fact, one of his major scenes in this episode was just a disembodied voice in the elevator. Um that is not the quality time we GG viewers need. Still, that ended up being a really nice scene between Blair and Serena and really showed off the chemistry between Leighton Meester and Blake Lively. As much as I enjoy them being at each other’s throats, it’s nice to have them back to being friends too.

Nate seems to be in the same black hole as Chuck. But I’m guessing this has more to do with Chace Crawford getting prepped for Footloose. Or I could be wrong. Also, what in the hell happened during that “lost weekend.” Do we think Chuck got it on with those ladies? While they were wearing Blair’s lingerie? Um, because that is not classy.

I could care less about Tripp and his dumb political campaign. Snooze. But I kinda like Serena becoming the Other Woman. She totally seems like the girl who gets embroiled in some kind of political scandal and ends up on the cover of the New York Post. Also, I love that she showed up to his office after the cotillion party wearing a not-so-appropriate dress. Like, S, couldn’t you have changed into some jeans or a Juicy Couture sweatsuit.

So, it appears Serena’s father is attempting to make his way back into her life. And he’s a doctor? Did we know that? Interesting.

What did you think of last night’s Gossip Girl? Did the threesome live up to the hype? Are you loving Jenny the villain?