Although everyone supposed that they would be voiced by their young mo-cap actors, the Michael Bay-produced Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie has just announced that it's recasting its voice roles. And now the teenage leader of the TMNT will be voiced by Jackass' Johnny Knoxville, who hasn't been a teen since 1990.

I'm not even upset. I'm actually kind of impressed how far the new TMNT movie is willing to go to avoid having its title be at all accurate. First the turtles were turned into aliens, and people freaked out. Then they tried to drop the "teenage mutant." Now we're hearing rumors that they might actually be humans who mutate into turtle form. But casting Johnny Knoxville as Leonardo? That's so pettily inappropriate I almost respect it.

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The other new voice actor will be Tony Shalhoub, who will voice Splinter, which, enh, fine. If the movie wasn't going to cast an Asian man as Shredder, the chances of them hiring an Asian voice actor for the role of the Turtles' rat ninja mentor was obviously nil. The only question here is if Shalhoub will put on a phony Asian accent or not. My money is on him not bothering.

Undoubtedly, new voice actors for the other three Turtles can't be far behind. I'm trying to think of who might fit in with this bold new vision... hmm... gotta get Freddie Prinze Jr. in there, obviously. Maybe Russell Brand as Michaelango; he's clearly a party dude. And hell, why not ask Corey Feldman to voice Donatello again? If kids liked him the first time, why wouldn't kids 25 years later also love it?! You know, despite having no idea who the hell he is?