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Chelsea 0 Bournemouth 1 .. ” Cursed”

Chelsea’s so called recovery from the depths of despair took a sharp turn for the worse this afternoon as they lost yet another home game. This time at the hands of Premiership new boys Bournemouth. Yes, That tiny South Coast town where finding 11 men who didn’t need the help of a Zimmer frame or wheelchair to leave home on a Saturday morning was not easy. Originally Jose had asked a few of our Uniformed Pensioners to join the squad for this game just to even the odds.

Every weekend Blues fans have to endure pure torture. We watch our lads ping the ball about to no avail, looking hard done by when a penalty appeal gets denied and having no rub of the green whatsoever. The whole 90 mins we have that gut wrenching feeling that its only a matter of time until the opposition get their single scoring opportunity. When it does come it invariably involves a favorable bounce or ricochet, or questionable refereeing decision…… and results in the winning goal.

This may sound like sour grapes, but I’ve watched enough football over the years to know this is not normal …. We are definitely cursed.

I have it on good authority that it is Eva Carneiro A.K.A “The Wicked Witch of the West (Stand)” , who is behind the sorcery. She gave her cauldron a fresh stir again this week.

She threw in Ivanovich’s soiled jockstrap from the last time he Captained the side just for good measure. “Hubble Bubble toil and trouble , if he tries to cross, he’s in for trouble!” Poor old Branislav, unbeknown to him he now has two left feet.

“Hubble Bubble , number 19 with Stubble, no more goals till the Bridge is in rubble.” Costa will have to wait for the new Stadium until netting again. We should reconsider raising the new capacity to 60,000. By the time they break ground it will only be “one man who went to mow!”

Cesc Fabregas’s spell involved his boots turning to lead as he crossed the half way line. He would have struggled to beat a tortoise over 50 yards today.

Jose needs to settle out of court with her, and quickly in order to break the curse. Hopefully by the time Porto come visit next week he issues a full public apology or we will be free for most of the midweek games in the new year.

I was looking forward to writing about how we put 5 past the South Coast minnows today, with Hazard breaking his “Cherry” for the season. Oh well that headline will have to wait.

It really is very sad to see our Champions in such a pickle. They did us so proud last season and are not being allowed to enjoy being Kings O’The Heap.

Anyway, probably best to leave Jose alone, no point in bringing up the subject of managerial change. That’s down to Roman to decide.

As said Mourinho bought this on himself by picking a battle with the wrong woman. Say sorry and also get Steve Clarke back in the dugout for old times sake.