Ethan is our fourth child, our third son, that God blessed us with. He was born 12 weeks prematurely and fought hard for four days before returning to Heaven. Through this difficult journey of grieving my son's death, the love that Ethan offered and inspired has surrounded me. LOVE, that is the overwhelming theme. This is a place for me to share that love and to heal.

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Thursday, December 6, 2012

'Tis the Season

The nicest thing happened today. A simple gesture really, yet one I will remember forever.

Jackson, Ryan & I went to breakfast at our favorite spot. On the ride there Jack said Ethan was with us in the car. (Love this. And yes, I believe him) As I put our coats on the waiter took my bill to the register. I thought to start ringing me up so we could make a quick escape. We are regulars there. Instead, the waiter told me to have a good day. "But I haven't paid yet Isaiah." Apparently another patron, this lovely man named Larry, had paid for our breakfast.

I looked to him and genuinely said thank you. I was shocked. He said he had observed me parenting the boys and was impressed with our family. Saying that he is a parent, though his two children are gown now. Remembering the days that I am currently in. The Blessed Chaos.

Went on to say that I am a wonderful mom. That the boys are lucky to have me. Saying that there must be a special place in Heaven for people like me. At this point I started to get choked up. You see, I wonder if my depression has tarnished the mom in me. I am sure it has at moments. So when this lovely gentleman told me that I am doing a good job it hit home. Cue the tears - just a couple, but still...unexpected.

Compelled I told him that he has no idea how his kind words are appreciated. Briefly shared what I wrote above, and what has caused the depression. This loving man was moved by what I shared...and here we were at the counter of The Big Bean making quite an impression on one another. With Isaiah watching.

"I'm Annie." -- "I'm Larry." -- "Merry Christmas Larry. God Bless."

Jackson said thank you to Larry for his meal. And we went on with our morning. I'll never forget Larry.

'Tis the Season. No need to pay for someone's meal necessarily. Just share the kind thoughts in your head. They make a difference.

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About Me

I am a mother of 4 beautiful children, 3 of whom live at home with me and Josh and 1 of whom watches us from Heaven. I live a life of blessed chaos, with having 4 children in 5 years. I am a woman trying to heal myself, honor Ethan's life and raise 3 children into beautiful people.