Gals, the GOP and Gripin'!

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Ted Casablanca
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Uh-oh! Do we have another FOB (that'd be Bush, babycakes, not Bill!) headed White House way in 2008? Appears so. Plus, what the hell do women do better than guys (besides absolutely everything, that is)? Hmmm. Check out what some of H-town's bitchin' babes have to say on the matter!

Steve Granitz/Wireimage.com

People are so friggin’ angry. My inbox is brimming with upset heteros (mostly) who object to my use of the term “breeder,” even when applied to my fagola friends who choose to procreate. Apparently, you straight folk are as touchy ‘bout pejorative gab as us gays who don’t appreciate the Isaiah Washingtons of the world who toss round the F-word—and I don’t mean the one that rhymes with schmuck.

I say tough breeder beans.

Dan Herrick/ZUMApress.com

Gimme a sec, I’ll explain why: Right now, most political strategists and consultants I’m talking to say—due to divisiveness, slutty spouses and sundry other hotbed no-no’s—neither Clinton nor Obama stand a whit o’ a chance of getting into the Oval Office. (Hope you were sitting down for that one, George C., I do hate how bad news furrows that purty brow of yours!)

Yes, it looks like the elephant types will have 1600 Pennsylvania as their home address for yet another four years, precisely which particular candidate being anybody’s guess, at this point. Mark my gossipy words. That said, another supreme court justice, or two, will most likely be nominated by the next prez, thereby creating a locked-in morality-obsessed, conservative court, an ideal breeding ground for antigay legislation to be finalized on the federal level.

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Are heterosexuals fighting for the right to wed? No. My partner, Jon, and I are. And Rosie O. sure as hell is! New York State is currently arguing whether or not same-sex marriage should be legal, with the Catholic Church battling out front how beyond hideous such an occurrence would be. Funny, coming from an organization that’s currently paying billions due to their representatives diddling kids round the world for centuries.

Look, let’s get to some H'wood chitchat, already. ‘Nuff with the soapbox biz. My point being, look, my het brothers and sisters: Enjoy your right to hitch before you procreate. Must be sweet.

At the Women in Film Awards, that estrogen-laden event we gabbed about on Tuesday, it was all about femme ferocity. This Spice Girl-esque sentiment, of course, reminds us of Hillary Clinton’s current (doomed?) run for the White House. So, we asked all the glittery gals how they thought our country might be different if it were run by a gal instead of a guy, for once.

Nancy Kaszerman/ZUMApress.com

“I don’t even know,” dished Crystal Award winner Emily Blunt, who was without her main man, Michael Bublé. “I really think women are becoming sort of more like men. We’re sort of blending into one. Men have more of a sensibility about them than they did in the past…I think women might listen more.”

Jeff Vespa/Wireimage.com

Men, becoming more sensible? I dunno about that one, but perhaps the evening’s diminutive hostess, Kristen Chenoweth, could shed more light on the sitch. After all, the teeny gal with the big pipes told us she’s sung at the White House a buncha times for different presidents, as well as most recently for the first female Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi.

“We may see that in the near future,” she offered. “Everyone just says that we always run everything by emotion. I don’t think that’s necessarily so, but I also don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing. Maybe if there was a little more compassion, things might be a little different.”

Jeffrey Geller/ZUMAPress.com

So, is Kristen all gung-ho for Hil, like Steven Spielberg, one of the few dudes at the do who recently announced his support for Miz Clinton? Nope, she’s actually rooting for John Edwards.

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As you all know, Kristy Swanson was arrested late Sunday night in Ontario, Canada, for allegedly throwing some punches at her baby daddy's ex-wife. Kristy is currently with her Skating with Celebrities partner, Lloyd Eisler, who left his pregnant woman, Marcia O'Brien,à la Billy Crudup, last year. Marcia filed a complaint, landing Kristy at the coppers' joint (and Kristy counterfiled, natch), but she was later released on $500 bail. Howevah, don’t think a little police station time can keep Kristy from working.

Nope, girlfriend got herself on a plane and headed to Hell-Ay on Monday for a photo shoot for whatever diet product she’s shillin’ for these days. An on-set source said Miz Swan’s knees and elbows were “all scraped up” from her scuffle. Bet the makeup artist was simply thrilled at having to cover up those bumps and bruises. And of course, K.S. is telling another side of the story. Kristy claimed the only reason Marcia has a black eye is because Lloyd “accidentally” opened the car door on her. Sounds mucho suspicious to moi.

After her photo shoot, Kristy hightailed it back to Ontario Tuesday morning to testify. Guess we’ll let these gals wrangle it out in the courtroom!

Nancy Kaszerman/ZUMAPress.com

Rihanna,gettin' her shop on with her mama at the Grove last weekend. Eagle-eyed pedestrians report that Miz R., in a black and white dress, was “tall, skinny and completely gorgeous” and was showing off a new purple-streaked hairdo—or is it a don’t? (Guess we’d have to see it for ourselves to judge.) A fan approached Rihanna, who stopped briefly to say thank you, and then moved on. Another clan dropping cash was…

Steve Granitz/WireImage.com

Kate Beckinsale with her daughter, Lily, and hub-unit Len Wiseman. The fam spent Fathers's Day cruising Robertson Boulevard in H'wood, hitting up Lisa Kline Kids. Seeing as it was Lily who walked away with all the goodies ($620 worth to be exact), you wouldn’t know it was Dad’s Day! Speaking of father figures, wonder if Papa Joe Simpson knows…

Brian Ach/WirEImage.com

Ashlee Simpsonis all grown up and spent the weekend shacking with dingle-dangling boy-toy Pete Wentz at the Hotel Victor in South Beach. The couple spent Saturday night at Cameo, where Pete deejayed after his gig with Fall Out Boy. Ashlee was there by his side dancin’ and drinkin’, before heading back to their hotel to continue the party further—perhaps with one of those naughty cameras Petey adores so? In frisky spirits elsewhere was…

Paul Fenton/ZUMAPress.com

Robbie Williams, hangin’ at Shane West’s birthday party Saturday night at Ritual here in Hell-Ay. The recently rehabbed Brit looked a bit tired but musta been in a good mood, 'cause he didn’t even get mad when a gal accidentally spilled an entire drink all over him. Oops! Other hearty partiers at the bash included Shanna Moakler, pretty in a bright-green frock, and Benjamin McKenzie, spotted dirty dancing with a few femmes.

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