My diagnosis is up for review because my therapist & psychiatrist recently obtained records and believe my mom projected her munchausen's syndrome on me for most of my life. The diagnosis might change to complex post traumatic stress disorder as a result of munchausen's by proxy.

The early problems from trying to attach to an abusive mother can cause personality disorder later in life. My therapist said to look up the reesus monkey experiments done by the Harlows but I already know about it and frankly, don't want to think of my childhood that way.

Send me a PM if you feel safer talking about it that way. I really feel the need to connect with others that went through the same thing.

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Ladyswan, sorry this isn't what you are hoping for, but you can make this post twice more, in the Munch forum and in the Living with mental illness forum too, if you like. It might get more views/replies that way.

forum-rules.phpI am sorry I am not on the forum as much as I used to be, if I do not reply to you quickly, please contact another moderator/supermod/admin as well.

I too was raised by a Munchausen's mom and have been diagnosised with PTSD with dissociative problems of missing time. Since I am 57 years of age, my perspective of my mother's illness is very different from the diagnosis made after 1977. Up until 2004, she was still trying to poison family members as a way of control and punishment. My own problems where compounded by my mother's mental cruelty as well as harsh physical cruelty that lasted into my mid twenties. I find her own personality shadowing mine and still hear her belittling voice trying to control many of my responses to the every day. I am also dealing with a lot of anger which again I feel is more her anger shadowing my responses.There is also the baffling reality that after 8 years of therapy, I am still having problems with this. Recently while in a night class situation, the topic of poisoning came up; Rasputin, Kings being poisoned, then Munchausen's. Rather than hold completely back or leave, I turned to a woman discussing the movie and I responded saying, "My mother poisoned us growing up." the woman looked at me blankly conscious, thinking I had said something about the movie and responded, "Yes, the woman poisoned her children." Her rational mind couldn't comprehend for an instant that this kind of illness really affects actual people. When this happened, I moved to another section of the studio lab trying to give myself a little space. After sharing this, I found myself shaking which wasn't the best sign. But within 20 minutes or so, the conversation had found itself at the front of the class. This time someone was talking about working a hotline and a check list that was at his fingertips concerning Munchausen's. This was such light hearted banter almost cynical conversation. I don't even know why, I just told them my mother was like that. I said a few more things trying to explain but this is the most warped topic. What makes it even worse is that one sibling and I are estranged from this woman, but three other siblings are still tangled up in all of this even after she confessed to the poisonings as recently as 2004.I feel some guilt that my mother was never held accountable for her actions. My brother who was poisoned on two occasions in 2004 refused to have her evaluated and my own memories about this where when I was a child growing up. My biggest regret is this 83 yr. old great grandmother and Sunday School teacher is still out there with the ability to punish or do deadly hard to whomever she likes. I personally have questions concerning my own father's death. This woman enjoyed punishing people and I wouldn't be surprised if she poisoned him.At this stage of my own recovery, I still have no closure concerning what she has done to me in my past. I seem to go months ignoring what happened but I have yet to transform this into something useful I can learn from and move on from. I also feel enormous guilt over the fact I left my family and cut myself off from them entirely. I feel it was completely the right answer considering if she wanted to she could and would poison me or my family at her whim. What seems more difficult for me is everyday conversation. I can't talk about my family and in not being able do so, I am suspended with half a life. I'm not willing to tell people my history, yet when any holiday comes around or casual conversation, it always goes to family and for me that makes me sad. I wonder what the next step for me is. I no longer have most of the PTSD symptoms anymore and fewer and fewer moments of missing time but she still haunts me when I least expect it.