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People tell me my drunk text/chat game is shockingly bad. Perhaps. When I’m drunk I don’t care. I’ve just been out with Burto tonight in Camden and bagged us a pair of Finnish au pairs (video might follow). I’m drunk as I type. Here’s a chat I’m on with the Polish virgin.

This is actually the fourth 20yr old European virgin I’ve been dallying with this week, weird as that sounds. So far it’s been:

"Deflower me!"

Monday: second date with the Greek virgin. Facefucking, fingering then LMR. Send her home. She texts me back on Wednesday saying she wants to come visit again before she goes back to her debt-ridden houmous-eating boy-raping shithole country.

Tuesday: the Polish virgin tells me she wishes I was popping by her hometown this week so I could fuck her.

Wednesday:Lithuanian virgin stops by my house for the BBQ. Under Tony T‘s wise tutelage I run pure comfort and no escalation. This is the long haul.

Thursday: Romanian virgin flakes on our date half an hour before the meet. I tell her to fuck off. DD-cup and all.

Anyhow. Thursday night and we’ve rustled up more targets. I come home and start harassing my network. Polish virgin obliges as follows. There’s no analysis. There’s not much to learn here.

Me: blegh!Her: pff nice to “see you” too :P:P:PMe: I’ve been drinkingHer: ojojojojjMe: that makes no sense, womanHer: huh? why?Me: ojojojojblahblahblahHer: ahah;) did you drinking alone?!Me: no way. Been out in Camden with my friend [fat useless Aussie cunt] causing troubleHer: not good:P –> trouble:PMe: I’m a horrible bastardHer: no way! I disagreeMe: hehHer: why you think, that you’re bastard?Me: Maybe I need to tie you to my bed and do rough things to you.Her: do you think that then I will believe you, that you’re bastard? :P wrong :PMe: no, not that I just want to do it to you :PHer: really? hmm I think that you want to do it with every younger woman :(Me: nope you have trouble believing I like youHer: or…. you want me, because I’m a virgin… and this is something like…hmm…. challenge …?Me: that’s 10% the 90% is I like youHer: thank you:) it’s so nice:)Me: Hmmm, I need to be more horrible…… :/ ok, I’ve got it ! I want to…… ….. wait until you are cooking my dinner…. then I’ll come into the kitchen pull up your skirt and fuck you in the ass until you scream my name then I’ll go and watch TVHer: you aren’t like this man…. ! I know that!Me: bleghHer: it’s your mask :PMe: hmmm, so what is the real me?Her: for me?;) hehehMe: yesHer: uumm… nice, protective, caring man :) sweet ;)Me: oh dear…. NO! I’m tough, rough, bad!Her: you’re stupid! you aren’t having to pretend :)Me: heh enough talk about me tell me somethingHer: I want to have holidays ! :(Me: where do you want to go?Her: hmm Spain… or somewhere, where will be warm :) heheMe: and what will you wear?Her: bikini… or dressMe: big difference show meHer: [link]

Birds don't get it

Me: 4/10Her: but it is only a shape !! you are too demandingMe: you mean the dress, or the girl?Her: dressMe: ah If you wear that, I won’t fuck you I want something sexier try againHer: you have imagination, you can imagine what I have under the dress, it is not a problem ;)Me: that’s too much work show me a photoHer: you should try, if you want me :DMe: hmmmm I want to put my cock in your mouth heh! that stopped you!Her: still…I’m in shock :P are you being drunk still ? ;)Me: yes but what do you think? (about my cock in your mouth)Her: do you intend to have the wife?Me: that’s totally NOT an answerHer: haha ;) it’s similar:D because if you say: yes, and I’ll be her… I’ll say, that it’s ok (your cock in my mouth) ;)Me: It’s not so easy to be my wife This is your list of duties….. 1. suck my cock 2. cook my food 3. iron my shirts 4. clean my house 5. feed my dog can you do all of these?Her: you are irritating me :P pfffMe: I think you are turned onHer: but.. me? now? NO!Me: finish your sentenceHer: but your list isn’t difficult (apart from point 1) ;)Me: ok, we’re getting married shall we do it in a castle or a church?Her: but as your wife, I must accept him and it is my dutyMe: +20Her: church! of course ;)Me: You’ll enjoy it, you know. Girls ALWAYS think they won’t. And then they do. You’ll need a big white dress and lots of bridesmaids we’ll have red wine, not whiteHer: why big white dress?! no way! not bigMe: we’ll have a huge hotel room, with a double bed and a big ivory bath in the middle of the room the view from the window will be fields, a stream, and the edge of a big forestHer: in Poland ;)Me: No. Poland is boringHer: not trueMe: At the wedding, I’ll tell everyone I love you, that I’ll protect you, and all that stuff then I’ll pick you up and carry you to my room bend you over the bathHer: you couldn’t see, where I liveMe: and fuck you in the assHer: you are horrible but still I think, that you’re nice guy:PMe: hahahaha, I am SOOOOOO gonna take your virginityHer: dreamer :P

2 Comments

One doesn’t need to be drunk in order to act drunk, even a beginner like me knows that. So your bouts of drunkenness are self-indulgence, and a poor fit for your previously stated goal of protecting your higher cognitive functions as you age.