<span style="color:rgb(255,0,0)">On Fri, Jan 6, 2012 at 10:03 AM, John Menerick &lt;<a href="mailto:ponies@mayhemiclabs.com">ponies@mayhemiclabs.com</a>&gt; wrote:</span><br style="color:rgb(255,0,0)"><div class="gmail_quote">
<blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex"><div bgcolor="#FFFFFF"><div><span style="color:rgb(255,0,0)">Indeed. Even more die from improper mercury spill cleanups.</span><br>
</div></div></blockquote><div><br>I see where you&#39;re going with this.<br>You&#39;re right, I shouldn&#39;t worry about falling into a rift caused by an earthquake, because.....<br><br>More people are kidnapped by sasquatch and forced into lifelong slavery each year than fall into rifts caused by an earthquake<br>
<br>More people are gored to death by rabid unicorns each year than &quot; &quot;<br><br>More people are mauled and eaten by Teddy Bears each year &quot; &quot; <br><br>More people die of embarrassment after Fatal Wardrobe Malfunctions each year<br>
<br>More people die because God Called Them Away And They&#39;re in Heaven Now with Grandma and Grandpa and Jesus Watching Over Us each year<br><br>More people die and that&#39;s it, they&#39;re just dead: no God, no afterlife, none of that religious gobbledygook each year<br>
<br>More people melt as a result of Global Warming - sorry, we meant Climate Change - each year<br><br>More people explode and die of massive hemorrhaging after their ego grows too large for their body to contain<br><br>More people are raped and dismembered by Ewoks each year<br>
<br>More people are bludgeoned to death with Marshmallows each year<br><br>More people are taken out back and shot as The Only Humane Way to End Their Suffering each year<br><br>More people die from injuries after being mistaken for paparazzi and violently attacked by Bjork each year<br>
<br>More people die of amazement after suddenly discovering The Missing Link each year<br><br>More people die of exhaustion while trying to solve impossible algorithms each year<br><br>More people die of despair while trying to disprove (or prove) evolution each year<br>
<br>More people die of boredom while waiting in line to contest a bullshit traffic infraction at the Hall of Justice<br><br>More people die of Old Age while waiting for Bank of America (WTF?) to disburse their Unemployment Insurance money<br>
<br>More people nearly die of blood loss after having their penis cut off by Lorena Bobbitt, but recover and eventually become porn stars each year<br><br>More people perish in Transporter Beam malfunctions each year<br><br>
More people die after falling from Open-Source Software Platforms and hitting their head on Proprietary Software each year<br><br>More people are hacked to death by Computer Security Experts each year<br><br>More people are crushed by falling stars each year<br>
<br>More people drown in their sorrows and are only identified when their bloated corpse washes ashore five days later each year<br><br>More people die from injecting Maybelline Luscious Magenta liquid eyeliner each year<br>
<br>More people are oppressed to death by the One Percent each year<br><br>More people are consumed by carnivorous plants each year<br><br>More people succumb to Godzilla&#39;s Radioactive Breath each year<br><br>More people perish beneath the wheels of Stephen Hawking&#39;s wheelchair each year<br>
<br>More people are sent to the Electric Chair by Activist Judges each year<br><br>More people die of shock after winning the $54 Million Lottery each year<br><br>More people die for Reasons We Will Not Know Until We Receive the Toxicology Report back from the Lab Next Week each year<br>
<br>More people die just because it&#39;s What Everyone Else is Doing and They Just Want to Fit In each year<br><br>More people opt for death out of curiosity about Whether There&#39;s an Afterlife each year<br><br>More people commit suicide because they believe in reincarnation and are pretty sure the next round will be better each year<br>
<br>More people die after boarding an elevator and accidentally pressing the Self-Destruct Button instead of Up, which is right next to it, each year<br><br><br><br></div></div>