Dangerous New Development in Tibet Protests; Experts Predict Skinned Knees

The practice began in Puerto Rico as the latest step in the perpetual arms race between cops and crooks, after police forces worldwide were shocked to find themselves defenseless against a rash of skate ninjas.

Expect to see skate police in your neighborhood soon: trials in Boston are expected to begin this summer, focusing on Dorchester and Beacon Hill, with a sister project on the Tufts University Medford campus intended to address the growing fratboy-stabbing menace.