Well it's been 1 year since the newsletter started and 25 editions of the newsletter have been pumped out. It's been interesting watching the newsletter evolve as it has, we started with 5 or 6 people, and now we have more than 20 people and going stronger than ever before. Thanks to everyone who has contributed to the newsletter in the past year and thanks to all who will contribute this year, the newsletter would not be where it is today without your commitment and dedication. Also i'd like to thank our readers, you are the reason we keep publishing the newsletter so thanks for your support over the past year.

Welcome to the 25th edition of this newsletter and it is another jam packed edition for the mess hall. This fortnight we are providing you with have the latest hot topics with ARMY of GOD, an analysis of the assault odds calculator plugin by Minister Masket, more about the nuclear spoils feature by stahrgazer and some valentines day advice, CC style from FoxMists. If that isn't enough, we also have an interview with everyones favourite off-topic poster pimpdave, another tale from the elf and a story for all those who have suffered from bad dice by deathcomesrippin. Hope you enjoy it!

So you've come round to the fact that you're not being cheated by the dice. Excellent. Now you want to get down to the business of winning all those games you joined. Unfortunately, the luck factor means you can't win every game, but there are things you can do to increase your chances. Take the "Assault Odds" calculator for example. Now before I start (and if you're interested), do open up the link at the bottom in a new tab or window, because - like the Dice Analyser - it's fairly visual based, so you'll understand the description better if you're looking at the thing.Done? Good. For starters, ignore everything but the top three rows. This is the "Quick Calculator" part, and it very handily calculates the odds of success against your opponent(s), as opposed to you doing a quick number-crunch in your head and then subsequentially wondering where it all went wrong. Take the example already there on the calculator. An attacking army of 5 against a defending one of 3 has a 64.2% chance of success. The calculator automatically saves your entries to save you typing them out again, and if you need more, you can click the "Add Calc" button just underneath to add more blank rows. You even get a grand total percentage of winning all the battles you add in. Now what is that comma doing seperating the 8 and the 4 in the second row? Well that's how you add armies from different territories to the calculation, and it works with defenders too. Below this we have the "Pathfinder" section. Whereas the QC works best for single battles, the Pathfinder calculates your odds of successfully attacking a sequence of territories in the same turn. So firstly you choose the territory you're attacking from from the dropdown menu, then add your army number in brackets. Then you choose the valid bordering territory and add it's defenders. This one step will calculate the odds anyway, and you can add your next moves in the rows below. When you're done, you'll be presented with a total percentage of your chance of winning the lot. Finally, at the bottom we have the "Statistics" part. This will use your calculation from the QC part to tell you how many of your attackers are likely to survive, both in "minimum" and "exactly" columns. Don't get too attached to this part though. They are just numbers after all, not real soldiers. And that's it. For tips and the option to download this, here's the link I really hope you clicked on when I told you to: http://www.conquerclub.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=83451

A word of warning however. At the time of writing you can only use this if you are using either Firefox with Greasemonkey or Google Chrome. So if you use IE or another browser, you're buggered.

Early last year a.sub started a thread in General Discussion to work on his pick up lines. (Don’t lie, we all know you were really just looking for tips!) I found this to be an interesting idea and delved into what I thought would be moderately amusing and at least give me a heads up for the real desperate sorts that need this sort of help. Well, I was wrong. I was so very wrong. It was not moderately amusing. It was bloody hilarious and as lame as a one legged rabbit (hey! Not that kind of leg, you pervert!). And you know, it’s that time of year! Valentine’s Day! So I now present to you some of the more memorable pickup lines I came across. (This will also help you avoid certain… people… if you know what I mean)

It turned out that some keywords (and names) were practically required usage.

(Honestly “freestyle” was probably the most common. So common that I couldn’t force myself to add them here… Seriously. Painful.)And then there were the creative sorts:

“Map EditionSweetie, I know you are wondering where our relation is headed, and I've had 8 Thoughts about it. I would like to enter your Forbidden City, but don't want to move too fast causing you to Duck and Cover. This may sound like Madness, but please let me Land, and Sea where it takes us. You have shown me a New World of romance, I used to always just Battle for a rack. We've already tried a manage a trois, so maybe we can Conquer 4 and listen to the Wales. And if you were my Spanish buddy, I would want to Rail you, ese. What? I've been too vulgar? Baby don't go! Okay, well I will CCU later...” sully800

(We are now taking donations for the “Hobbies 4 Sully” fund!)Some people were kinda cute with their lameness. This was much appreciated.

“How would you like to travel world together? I was thinking maybe E2, S3 or A12, as they are all so beautiful this time of year.” Jpcloet

“It'll be worth the 72 hour ban for the things I want to say and do to you.” GENERAL STONEHAM

"Babe, I'm not like the other guys. I don't nuke all over myself." AndyDufresne

“ whoops, sorry baby, was a slip of the finger on the button" clapper011

(We’re guessing she has heard this line before )

AND,

“Hey big guy, if you're UP for it,come over here and show me how good you are at Escalating..” Robinette

Well. You gotta love a girl that knows what she wants, huh? If y’all are into self-torture, are ridiculously bored, or just plain sadistic, jump over to the thread and share the wealth! Your lameness will be noted and appreciated by others just like you!

A couple of months ago I wrote about wanting to expand my horizons from 1v1 Speed Crack (Lions, Tigers, and Bears, Oh My!) to team games and game variants. Some call them mutants. The game variants even. It's been an interesting couple of months.

Here is an example: I am 8 unique wins away from my first freestyle medal. Which doesn't sound that hard... except that I really, really suck at freestyle and haven't gotten the hang of clickies. At all. Cause I suck. Especially on my laptop. With the small screen. And the stupid mouse pad. And the adrenaline kicks in and then I attack a neutral by mistake after deploying my troops 450 kilometers from where I intended and then I fort 3 senior citizens to their Retirement Villa on an island on the other side of the world, well away from any possible danger. At least with clickies I suck really, really quickly.

The Elf's First Date

But there was another interesting development recently - I was invited to join a clan. Here is how I think that transpired: I was in a late night speed dubs game with some random dude (another aspect of expanding my horizons) and we were getting smoked. Badly. You know those games. Nothing goes right. Oh, you can blame the dice or whatever, but you just know, deep down, at the back of your primordial cortex, no matter what you do, the fates are against you and soon that big dinosaur is going to be using your femur as a tooth pick. Or your primordial spouse is going to bash your head in with that special pointy rock you found. Either way. End of story. But then The Elf is smacked with the inspiration stick. It doesn't usually work that way. Usually I'm in charge of the stupid stick. That night, even after my random partner was removed from the field of battle, we hammered the other team back and won. Thrilling. Seriously. Here was the other team's response to our come-from-behind victory:

"fuuuu...dge"

It was brief but heart felt I'm sure. Right on suckers!

Coming out of that game I think my random partner from that night figured I was good. And handed my name over to a clan leader looking for a good player. Instead they got me. The guy with the stupid stick. But since I didn't have any other invites to the prom I said sure. I hope they don't think I'm a cheap lay! 'Cause I'm not cheap.

Kindergarten Zombies

Now, this is no reflection on my clan-mates. At all. There are some great players in our clan, including our leader, but I would not be surprised if, in my brief tenure with them, I have recorded only a couple of wins in clan games. But as our clan has been rebuilding and adding a number of mid-ranked players like me here is what I think was happening in our first few games together: we were all reliving the first week of Kindergarten.

Your mom drops you off. Another woman with those breast things is there but she doesn't even remotely smell like your mom. You cry for 25 minutes. You realize suddenly that you have just peed your pants. You punch another little boy in the head who just peed himself and won't stop crying. You take a nap. Eat some paint. And as Post My-Parents-Are-Never-Coming-Back Syndrome sets in, you sit on the carpet with 22 other traumatized youngsters, as if you are bit players in a "Dawn of the CC Dead" movie. Moaning, gnawing and drooling ensue. Then you break for lunch.

I figure our clan will get better. We just need to eat more finger paint together.

Not An Intergalactic Kegger?!?!

And all of this leads me to my closing observation: there really are no short-cuts here at CC to being a good clan, or a good team, or a well rounded gamer. Just a lot of games and a lot of working things out.

This was brought home to be by a partner in a dubs tournament recently. I made some initial moves and my partner sent me a very helpful PM afterward. In the message he/she laid out some different strategies critiquing some of my early moves. Pretty helpful stuff and in hindsight I realized that I should have seen this myself. But more importantly it was his/her closing words that really struck me: doing it this way could increase your win % on this map by 5%. Five. Percent. When I first got here I would have figured that was nothing. After being in The Pit for six months now? Five Percent? Man. That is the world.

Huh. Maybe, just maybe, someday The Elf will give up the stupid stick for good! ~sees the skeptical stares~ Well. An Elf and dream can't he?!?!

About those nukes... I mean, Nuclear Spoils. As players investigate the option, some find the setting disturbingly luck based, some find it requires strategy, and others are still choosing to avoid them as though they're afraid of radioactive fallout. For example, the Conqueror's Cup inter-clan tournament is disallowing nuclear spoils, the same as freestyle and speed settings have been disallowed for previous Clan Ladders. Please do not be confused; the Cup is not part of the Clan Ladder, although there exists a potential that the games will count in the ladder.

With this setting, it becomes more apparent that random deals cards like it does the dice: sometimes a terr comes in batches. Whatever terrs are on the map are part of the entire pool, so it is possible for one terr to show up several times in a game, and even possible for the same terr to show up in several or all players' hands; the odds are the same for any card at any time in the game, although I have yet to hear of one player getting the same card twice in one hand.

Another interesting point about Nuclear Spoils is that the in-game statistics reveal more than the log will tell you immediately upon blasting an opponent (or oneself) off the map. The log will merely indicate that a territory was nuked, but the stats display immediately shows the number of territories, now reduced by one because of the nuke. The log will not indicate the terr-count change until the player takes the next turn. There are those who believe this is unfair, or untrue to the intention of the stats, which were placed, prior to the Nuclear Spoils setting, with the intention of revealing no more than the log will indicate. Now, the log may be behind the stats for as much as a full round (if you have unfortunately had to nuke yourself); but eventually the log will catch up to the stats display, indicating that the player who had 12 terrs at the start of his previous turn has 11 terrs at the start of the current turn.

Is a one-round (maximum) difference enough to make you wish to change something? If so, you can visit the Nuclear Spoils thread and make your point known.

I, on the other hand, believe this to be not much different than the ability to read an "owned" terr being cashed in a fog game; because of the +2 extra deploy, the log reveals information the ?? leaves in..errrr...question: which terrs does an opponent own? While the stats will display the terrcount, the stats do not indicate which terrs, but that bonus recipient lets one say, "Aha! Now I know where you are!" Granted, in that instance, the information is immediate upon the cash but.. well.. the stats info on nuclear spoils is equally immediate upon the cash.

The stats were not intended to reveal more than the log; fog setting was intended to make only the number of terrs readable by the log. In both instances, cashing a card can reveal a little more information than was originally intended. And? So?

To Nuke or not to Nuke, that is the question. Only you can answer it, for yourself.

For those of us who have suffered through bad dice, this one's for you....

The Invasion

Day 7, Dakar

Blue looked out over the shoreline. For the last two days, he had been camped here, with five other blues, awaiting instructions. Africa had been secured a few days ago, and the borders set. Across the stretch of ocean, an entire army of red sat at Sao Paulo, unaware of the plans of the warlords who ran the Great Blue War Machine. On day 5, Blue had been a part of the final push to move Green out of the African mainland completely, although word was they had secured Australia, which could prove to be a thorn in their side for the rest of this damned war. His commanding officer, Blue, had mentioned something to the effect of Flaming going on in some chat between Red and Green. Blue Command was looking to capitalize on this, and hoped to be able to place small amounts of reinforcements on Dakar until the time was right. Then, if all went according to plan, there would be a large influx of six, possibly SEVEN, reinforcements, and the true assault on the bastion of Red would begin. A squawk came over the loudspeakers set up over camp, informing all of the troops that it was time to change the watch. Blue looked one last time towards the ocean, wondering what was in store for him in the next few days.

Day 10, Dakar: invasion of Sao Paulo

The rumble of the motor came from all around him, causing Blue to think for a moment he was in some sort of living hell. The sides of the plane reverberated with rattling of the stores of ammo, foodstuffs, and other such items, creating a cacophony of clanging and banging. Blue Sergeant stood tall, and told the men about him that this moment would be the turning point, the first of many defeats for their enemies across the water, Red. All told, there were 14 blues on board, a frightening army considering Red's defences was a paltry 6. They were caught completely off guard by this assault. Whispers ran through the ranks of Red being led by a n00b general, a Cook maybe. Blue Command, of course, would never verify those rumours, but a refusal to answer was good enough for the troops. Blue gathered his gear. The final light went off, and the rear door of the plane opened. Below them, there was a field of green, the jungles of South America flowing past. Sao Paulo was lit up like a gigantic casino, flood lights crowding the air searching for the first signs of the enemy incursion. Then, all of a sudden (or so it seemed to Blue), the city was below them, and the order was given. Without another thought, Blue leapt clear of the plane, and freefell into his glory.

Blue was covered in blue gore. All about him, the bodies of his comrades, blues he had known for his entire life, were scattered like so many dice across a game board. The few left had been lead back to the shore, where they awaited the rescue ship. The fighting had been fierce, but even with overwhelming numbers, It was a lost cause. Out of the 14 who had travelled with Blue, he saw only three and himself. Red, on the other hand, now had an equal number, having only lost two. The first thought for Blue was frustration. The frustration of knowing you had lost, and also, that it might be a loss that you might not come back from. Blue Command was compromised, their troops for the front and borders spent of this assault. Already Green had been making overtures into Europe, and Red was crawling across North America.

A bullet snapped sand into Blues' face, waking him out of his daydreaming. He raised his weapon and returned fire, the small sandbar he was by providing meagre cover. The other blues all had the same forlorn look on their faces, like dogs which had lost their masters. Blue hoped his didn't look like that, too. More bullets flew past, and Blue realized Red was making a push. This was it, his final moment. Blue prepared himself, shook the cobwebs out of his head, and tensed his legs for a spring over the sandbar. As he lifted himself up, a blue grabbed his shoulder and pointed out over the ocean. The rescue ship was approaching, slowly yet surely.

Day 14, Nairobi

Blue stood aside four other blues, the last of his men. Blue Command had given up long ago, and there was talk from the others about going rogue, or "neutral" as it was called by some. Blue didn't think less of them for this. After the epic failure of the invasion of Sao Paulo, Red followed through with an assault that pushed aside the meagre defences left in place at Dakar. Slowly, Red pushed further into Africa, taking Cape Town and Johannesburg, then Cairo. Now, only one area stood, Nairobi. The last word heard from the Blue General was "Red’s Foed". To the east, in Dubai, a sizable army of Green camped, awaiting orders from their enigmatic leader. To the west, the deadly west, a large force of Red sat at Cairo, looking on with a bit of pity on what was left of the once great Blue Empire. Blue looked back at his men, and at the approaching horde. End game.

During the last couple weeks of 2009, Lindax collected nominations for the Best Tournament of 2009. After examining the list, 10 tournaments were chosen for a final vote. The Top 3 winners were all very close in the voting, with each officially 1 vote apart. Each winner has received a Contest Medal.

They have had their battles in numerous tournaments; now I decided to test their skill in a quiz. We have 5 participants who agreed to be part of the friendly battle: Tournament Legend Optimus Prime [OP], unique tournament titan barterer2002 [Bart], excellent Tournament Director Lindax [Lx], top tournament organizers/winners HighlanderAttack [HA] and Blitzaholic [Blitz]. Don't take the results too seriously, it's just a fun quiz where I asked everybody to answer honestly and not use help of forums/friends. If it was done, stays on their conscience and following data is also added just for statistics (which is also considered the biggest lie by some) and not for serious conclusions. What I know is that HA answered me 3 minutes after opening his message, OP maximum 10 minutes after opening it, Lx took about 25 minutes to answer, Bart maximum 30 minutes and Blitz a bit under 4 hours.

These are the questions that I asked and in the brackets is the amount of points received for correct answer(s).

Who is the Head Tournament Director? [1]

How many different tournament tags are currently used? [1]

Name Top 3 of Multiple Tournament Winners! [max. 3 - 1 for each name]

Name Top 3 of Most Tournament Games Created! [max. 3 - 1 for each name]

Name Top 3 of Most Tournaments Completed! [max. 3 - 1 for each name]

Name Top 3 of Most Tournament Games Played! [max. 3 - 1 for each name]

What type of tournaments have been organised the most besides Standard? [1]

What is the date (month+year) when first 2 tournaments were completed? [1]

What is the date (month+year) when most tournaments were completed? What was the number of tournament completed? [2 - 1 for date, 1 for number of tournaments]

(1) Night Strike [1](2) Not sure, maybe 10? (3) Blitzaholic, Highlanderattack, Killmanic [3](4) If there was a recent update I would guess Optimus Prime, Amazzony, Barterer2002 [2](5) If there was a recent update I would guess Highlanderattack, Barterer2002, Blitzaholic [3](6) Highlanderattack, Acores2005, Amazzony [3](7) Not sure, I would guess doubles [1](8) Hmmm, maybe around May 2006 for both.(9) December 2008 and 78 completed, however, I would guess somewhere in 2009, maybe the Fall of 2009 this was broken due to an explosion of tourneys created

So, here they are - results! All participants did well and I want to thank everybody so much for being my guinea pigs!

Currently Taking Sign-upsHere is a list of tournaments that still have open spots. Click on the link to sign up or to find more information on the tournament.

Haiti Benefit Tournamentviewtopic.php?f=90&t=106575Coordinator: Industrial HelixThis tournament aims to raise awareness for the earthquake disaster in Haiti. All games are played on the Haiti map with 8-players in each match. The 8 winners of the first round will battle for the tournament trophy.

European Timeline Bracketviewtopic.php?f=90&t=107850Coordinator: kawe85A big Doubles tournament that that includes the maps of: Imperium Romanum, Europe 1914, and WWII Europe

Darin’s 30th Tournamentviewtopic.php?f=90&t=107706Coordinator: Darin44Darin is celebrating his 30th tournament with style - a tournament with 10 terminator games in each round on random maps. Only open to premium players.

Indoor Athleticsviewtopic.php?f=90&t=108132Coordinator: TupenceInspired by the Indoor Athletics International Match, this 125-player tournament is almost full, so go grab your spot now. The tournament will use a variety of maps. Only open to premium players.

Horseshoes and Hand Grenadesviewtopic.php?f=90&t=107936Coordinator: YoursFalseyThis tournament will focus on the new Nuclear Spoils, but players will be faced with 1v1 matches, Doubles, Terminator, and Assassin. This tournament has many open spots, and is only open to premium players.

Family Game Night Tournamentviewtopic.php?f=90&t=108780Coordinator: ask me2A tournament that stays true to the theme of its name. Maps featured are: Chinese Checkers, Conquer Four, Conquer Man, and Crossword.

Circus Maximus Royal Rumbleviewtopic.php?f=90&t=107549Coordinator: kuma32478Based on the WWE Royal Rumble, this tournament will feature 3-player terminator games on the Circus Maximus map.

Doodle Earth Tournyviewtopic.php?f=90&t=108096Coordinator: iamkoolerthanuThis 64-player tournament on Doodle Earth will consist of 4-player games with the winner advancing to the next round. It’s filling up fast, so go and claim your spot now.

Hi all,During the last two weeks there has been much activity in the Foundry, the Germany revamp competition has just ended, but there's already a new competition running. The melting pot seems more active than ever and the first maps begin to advance through the new process.Talking about the process, in this issue, the second part of the Foundry special about the gameplay workshop. Then, we travel again through the History to discover the "hidden story" behind one of the maps on Conquer Club. Finally, as always, the maps currently in development.

Vancouver CompetitionThe Winter Olympics come every four years and are a showcase of athleticism. They bring out the best in athletes striving for a bit of gold. In just a few short days, the torch will arrive in Vancouver and the games will begin. From Cyprus mountain to the Pacific Coliseum, the Olympics will also showcase the best of Vancouver, a fine city, worthy of hosting such an event. In order to celebrate this event, the CC foundry is having an contest of its own. Recently, the Vancouver map was put into live play, but now it is having a bit of a revamp. While the original map is a beautiful piece of artwork, the boys in blue thought that it should be spiced up for the games. A contest is being held where mapmakers can take the original Vancouver map, and make it Olympic themed. The winning map will temporarily replace the current Vancouver map in order to coincide with the 2010 Winter Olympics. You can find more information about the contest here.You can find info about the Olympics here.

Foundry Twitter feed

Are you always seeking the latest news about the foundry? Don't you want to miss anything foundry related?Don't worry the solution is within reach. Start following the Foundry Twitter feed and you will get the scoop on up and coming maps! http://twitter.com/CCFoundry

Our dear chief editor has got his first quenched map.WWII Poland, due to its superb gameplay, is already one of the most popular maps on Conquer Club.After a few small tweaks, the map is now perfect.Congratulations to samuelc812

After a long and careful examination, the Third Crusade Map was quenched.The last update was well received by the community and the new bonuses seem well balanced.With already more than 3000 finished games, the map was finally moved into the viewing gallery.Congratulations to Kabanellas and AndrewB

In my last article, I went through the Melting Pot forum where maps are born. In this article we will be focusing on the next step of a map's journey from idea to live play, which is the Gameplay Workshop.

Gameplay is probably the most important aspect of a map. A map with balanced and interesting gameplay, even if it is not so interesting graphically, can be a success. But a map with stunning graphics and inferior gameplay will probably be a lot less popular. Of course, the Foundry tries to focus on both aspects of every map.

How to start

When a map moves from the Melting pot into the Gameplay Workshop, the real development of the map begins. In this phase, most maps already have a clear idea of the direction of development the map is going to take, and a version of the map with all major gameplay features included: territories, bonus areas, legend...

In the Gameplay workshop, the whole structure of the map may change several times. This is where the details are honed into perfection. For a beginner mapmaker, the concept may seem frustrating, but it is a necessary part of the Foundry process.

First things to consider when designing gameplay for a map are: the number of territories, bonus values, size and amount of bonus areas... which all amount to one thing really: balanced gameplay.

Balancing gameplay

Balanced gameplay means that games should not be decided by the drop. For example, if you have 48 territories on a map and play a 4 player game, the first one to play his turn will have a clear advantage, as everyone starts with 12 territories, and the first to go can knock one or more players below the limit.

But there is more to balancing the gameplay than just deciding the amount of territories on a map. The bonus values need to be considered, and for this several bonus calculators have been developed.

Of course the bonus calculator does not give you the absolute truth, and common sense should be used. But it gives the mapmaker an idea where to start.

The structure of the map also needs to be considered. Too many bottlenecks for example are not good, but neither is a too open playing field.

What can I do to help

When it comes to leaving feedback to maps in the Gameplay workshop, mapmakers of course appreciate when you keep your comments to the gameplay side, and ignore the graphics for now. It is not exactly wrong to give comments on the graphics, but gameplay feedback will surely be a lot more appreciated at this point.

When giving feedback, think of the map as it would already be in live play. Try to imagine how the gameplay would work on the current version of the map. If you can see any flaws, the mapmaker will surely appreciate you pointing them out, as long as it is done in a polite manner.

Iancanton, a moderator in charge of the Gameplay Workshop, has the following to say about leaving gameplay feedback:

iancanton wrote:All foundrygoers will have noticed that the main foundry has been split into two workshops: gameplay and graphics. There hasn't been much change of policy, since most maps needed to have the gameplay approved already before the graphics evaluations took place. The split simply makes clearer the current focus of the map: if a map's in the gameplay workshop, then comments on gameplay are most helpful.

What's good gameplay feedback? If you're unsure, then have a look first at the guide to giving feedback that's in the tutorials and guides section of the foundry.

Early feedback is welcomed by every mapmaker, to prevent him from wasting his time developing something along the wrong lines.

If something is wrong with the gameplay, then try to be helpful by suggesting a solution, if you can. The earlier this type of comment comes, the better!

gameplayfeedback wrote:i live in ruritania. there are no mountains in the western part of the map

gameplayfeedback wrote:48 regions is a bad number for 4-player games. can u merge this and that?

gameplayfeedback wrote:let the ship bombard all of the ports, which are too powerful

gameplayfeedback wrote:make the auto-deploys start neutral

gameplayfeedback wrote:the bonuses are unbalanced. there are too many small bonus zones in the north

Not so useful in the gameplay workshop are comments on things that don't relate so much to gameplay. It might sound obvious, but graphics adjustments are best made in the graphics workshop, after the mapmaker knows that the gameplay won't be changing much. Graphics ideas are still welcome, but be aware that the mapmaker may choose to do difficult or substantial graphics changes after he has the gameplay stamp, so that he doesn't have to redraw a fantastic work of art several times just because of gameplay fixes.

notgameplay wrote:the borders are pixellated

notgameplay wrote:try using a font which looks more medieval

notgameplay wrote:put the legend in a wooden frame

Now, with all this, you should have a pretty good idea how to help mapmakers who are working on the gameplay of their map. I'd like to urge every one of my readers to visit the Gameplay Workshop, and browse the map threads. See maps that you like? See maps that you don't like? Give them feedback! The Foundry needs your help to produce more quality maps for you to play!

That's it for this issue. Stay tuned for the next episode, the Graphics Workshop.

Welcome to Route 66, America's Main Street. This fun map by veteran mapmaker oaktown utilizes an alternate bonus structure of 1 army for every 2 territories held as well as the ability to score a victory by holding the eleven cities along Route 66, from L.A. to Chicago. The visual style of the map takes you back in time to the golden days of Route 66 and makes you feel like your sitting at a diner along that famous road. Be sure to check out this map and get your kicks on Route 66.

ROUTE 66 - ROLLING STONES LYRICS wrote:eWell if you ever plan to motor west Just take my way that's the highway that's the best Get your kicks on Route 66

U.S. Route 66 (also known as the Will Rogers Highway, and as "Main Street of America" or the "Mother Road") was one of the original U.S. highways, Route 66, US Highway 66, was established on November 11, 1926. The famous highway originally ran from Chicago, Illinois, through Missouri, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, and California, before ending at Los Angeles, encompassing a total of 2,448 miles. It was recognized in popular culture by both a hit song (written by Bobby Troup and performed by the Nat King Cole Trio and The Rolling Stones, among others) and the Route 66 television show in the 1960s. More recently, the 2006 Disney/Pixar film Cars featured U.S. 66.

Route 66 underwent many improvements and realignments over its lifetime, changing its path and overall length. Many of the realignments gave travelers faster or safer routes, or detoured around city congestion. One realignment moved the western endpoint farther west from downtown Los Angeles to Santa Monica.US 66 was officially removed from the United States Highway System on June 27, 1985 after it was decided the route was no longer relevant and had been replaced by the Interstate Highway System. Portions of the road that passed through Illinois, Missouri, New Mexico, and Arizona have been designated a National Scenic Byway of the name "Historic Route 66". It has begun to return to maps in this form. Some portions of the road in southern California have been re-designated "State Route 66", and others bear "Historic Route 66" signs and relevant historic information.

Over the years, U.S. Route 66 received many nicknames. Right after Route 66 was commissioned, it was known as "The Great Diagonal Way" because the Chicago-to-Oklahoma City stretch ran northeast to southwest. Later, Route 66 was advertised by the U.S. Highway 66 Association as "The Main Street of America". The title had also been claimed by supporters of U.S. Route 40, but the Route 66 group was more successful. In the John Steinbeck novel The Grapes of Wrath, the highway is called "The Mother Road", its prevailing title today. Lastly, Route 66 was unofficially named "The Will Rogers Highway" by the U.S. Highway 66 Association in 1952, although a sign along the road with that name appeared in the John Ford film, The Grapes of Wrath, which was released in 1940, twelve years before the association gave the road that name. A plaque dedicating the highway to Will Rogers is still located in Santa Monica, California.

In 1857, Lt. Edward Fitzgerald Beale, a Naval officer in the service of the U.S. Army Topographical Corps, was ordered by the War Department to build a government-funded wagon road across the 35th Parallel. This road became part of U.S. Route 66.

Officially, the numerical designation 66 was assigned to the Chicago-to-Los Angeles route in the summer of 1926. With that designation came its acknowledgment as one of the nation's principal east–west arteries.From the outset, public road planners intended U.S. 66 to connect the main streets of rural and urban communities along its course for the most practical of reasons: most small towns had no prior access to a major national thoroughfare.

Wigwam motel #6 in Holbrook, AZ.

Championed by Tulsa, Oklahoma businessman Cyrus Avery when the first talks about a national highway system began, US 66 was first signed into law in 1927 as one of the original U.S. Highways, although it was not completely paved until 1938. Avery was adamant that the highway have a round number and had proposed number 60 to identify it. A controversy erupted over the number 60. Ultimately Avery settled on "66" (which was unassigned) because he thought the double-digit number would be easy to remember as well as pleasant to say and hear.

After the new federal highway system was officially created, Avery called for the establishment of the U.S. Highway 66 Association to promote the complete paving of the highway from end to end and to promote travel down the highway.

Traffic grew on the highway because of the geography through which it passed. Much of the highway was essentially flat and this made the highway a popular truck route. The route passed through numerous small towns, and with the growing traffic on the highway, helped create the rise of mom-and-pop businesses, such as service stations, restaurants, and motor courts, all readily accessible to passing motorists.

Due to the efforts of the US Highway 66 Association, Route 66 became the first highway to be completely paved in 1938. Several places were dangerous: more than one part of the highway was nicknamed "Bloody 66" and gradually work was done to realign these segments to remove dangerous curves. However, one section just outside Oatman, Arizona was fraught with hairpin turns and was the steepest along the entire route remained as part of Route 66 until 1953. Despite such hazards in some areas, Route 66 continued to be a popular route.During World War II, Route 66, already popular and fully paved, became one of the main routes and also served for moving military equipment. Fort Leonard Wood in Missouri was located near the highway.

During its nearly 60-year existence, Route 66 was under constant change. As highway engineering became more sophisticated, engineers constantly sought more direct routes between cities and towns. Increased traffic led to a number of major and minor realignments of US 66 through the years, particularly in the years immediately following World War II when Illinois began widening US 66 to four lanes through virtually the entire state from Chicago to the Mississippi River just east of St. Louis, Missouri, and included bypasses around virtually all of the towns. By the early-to-mid 1950s, Missouri also upgraded its sections of US 66 to four lanes complete with bypasses. Most of the newer four-lane 66 paving in both states was upgraded to freeway status in later years.

In 1953, the first major bypassing of US 66 occurred in Oklahoma with the opening of the Turner Turnpike between Tulsa and Oklahoma City. The new 88-mile toll road paralleled US 66 for its entire length and bypassed each of the towns along 66. In some cases the new interstate highway not only paralleled the old Route 66, it actually incorporated much of it.

In New Mexico, as in most other states, rural sections of I-40 were to be constructed first with bypasses around cities to come later. However, some business and civic leaders in cities along US 66 were completely opposed to bypassing fearing loss of business and tax revenues. In 1963, the New Mexico Legislature enacted legislation that banned the construction of interstate bypasses around cities by local request. This legislation was short-lived, however, due to pressures from Washington and threat of loss of federal highway funds so it was rescinded by 1965.

Originally, highway officials planned for the last section of US 66 to be bypassed by interstates in Texas, but as was the case in many places, lawsuits held up construction of the new interstates. The state of Missouri officially requesting the designation "Interstate 66" for the St. Louis to Oklahoma City section of the route, but it was denied.

In 1984, Arizona also saw its final stretch of highway decommissioned with the completion of Interstate 40 just north of Williams, Arizona. Finally, with desertification of the highway by the American Association of State Highway and Transportation Officials the following year, U.S. Route 66 officially ceased to exist.

Delgadillo's Snow Cap Drive-In

Life After Death

Some states have kept the 66 designation for parts of the highway, albeit as state roads. In Missouri, Routes 366, 266, and 66 are all original sections of the highway. State Highway 66 in Oklahoma remains as the alternate "free" route near its turnpikes. "Historic Route 66" runs for a significant distance in and near Flagstaff, Arizona. A surface street stretch between San Bernardino and La Verne to the east of Los Angeles retains its number as State Route 66.

The First Route 66 associations were founded in Arizona in 1987 and Missouri in 1989. Other groups in the other Route 66 states soon followed. In 1990, the state of Missouri declared Route 66 in that state a "State Historic Route". The first "Historic Route 66" marker in Missouri was erected on Kearney Street at Glenstone Avenue in Springfield, Missouri. Other historic markers now line the entire 2,400 mile length of road. Many preservation groups have also tried to save and even tried to landmark the old motels and neon signs along the road in different states.

In 1999 the National Route 66 Preservation Bill was signed into law by President Bill Clinton, which provided for $10 mln in matching fund grants for preserving and restoring the historic features along the route.

In 2008, The World Monuments Fund added Route 66 to its World Monuments Watch list of 100 Most Endangered Sites. Sites along the route, such as gas stations, motels, cafes, trading posts, and drive-in movie theaters are threatened by development in urban areas, and by abandonment and decay in rural areas.

As the popularity and mythical stature of Route 66 has continued to grow, demands have begun to mount to improve signage, return Route 66 to road atlases and revive its status as a continuous routing. Along these lines Route 66 has been established as a National Scenic Byway in Illinois, Arizona and New Mexico with National Scenic Byway status pending in Oklahoma and Missouri as of 2007.

Description: Maybe the most innovative map currently in development. The map premise revolves about adding the Research concept to "normal" CC gameplay.Present Development: Some initial discussion about the gameplay, but for now is a rather quiet thread.

Description: After the great success of First Nations of North America, tisha is back with the same graphics to represent the southern part of Americas.Present Development:The discussion is about the regions number.

Description:Set in the year 1302, when an army of Flemish peasants defeated the knights of the french army, this map has a standard gameplay and a nice graphics.Present Development:Few nitpicks for the legend and the signature and the map is ready for the Final Forge

Description:Two maps about the wars of unification that took place int the last half of the 19th century and saw the rise of the united kingdoms of Italy and Germany.Present Development:Working on mountains

In lieu of the up coming Conqueror’s Cup and the controversy over the ladders, I have decided to do a opinion piece on the top clans on CC and personally rank them. As I write about clan wars, I find myself spending more and more time in the “completed challenges” forum, where I have learned a good deal about our clans.

In preparing my rankings, I found that the first two spots were easy to fill based on available information. Spots 3-7 seemed to meld together at first and so I had to add more criteria to help me order them. Spots 8-10 were the hardest to fill, there were at least two or three clans that I had to leave off, who perhaps should have made it.

So here are the criteria I used to decide who the best clans on CC are:1. Clan war record. This gives a good indication of how good a clan has been over the life of the clan.2. Current CLA Season 2 record for the league. This is a good indicator of how good a clan is at the moment, albeit not a perfect indicator. Most of my top 10 list was derived from these two factors and from my own experiences playing these clans.3. Who the clans won or lost to in clan challenges.4. Input from experienced clan players. This is important because there are things that I will not have gotten around to looking at, for example people leaving or joining a clan.5. Win percentage in clan wars. This becomes important when you have two clans who seem very equal. AOD for example lost a clan war to IA by a score of 11-9, that is a lot different then loosing 16-4 and so should not count so strongly against them. Now without further ado, here is (in my opinion) the top ten clans on CC.

Top 10 Clans on CC:

1. THOTATHOTA has a 7-0 record in clan wars, by far the best of anyone. Three of their wins were against top ranked opponents. 32-28 over LOW, 53-47 over Imperial Dragoons and 41-19 over Generation 1. The rest are lesser known clans, but its worth noting that their victory over Death by committee was by a score of 35-5. THOTA is also the champion in the first season of the CLA League.

2. TSMThe Spanking Monkeys have a 3-0 record, all against top clans. They have defeated The Legion 25-15, Immortal Assassins 22-18 and LOW 34-26. LOW has kind of been the gateway to the top spots, if one could defeat them, then that clan would be ranked in the top 2 or 3 spots. All three of these have been traditionally considered top 10 clans, although The Legion has lost some good players very recently and will not make this top 10 list. The Spanking Monkeys are also leading division 1B in CLA Season 2 at the time of printing.

3. The Odd Fellows UnionTOFU has a 3-0 record over some very good clans. They have defeated The Imperial Dragoons 24-16 and Generation 1 25-15. Their third win came over Mythology by a margin of 30-10. I was hesitant to place TOFU so high on the list however because of the fact that they were placed in Division 2 in CLA League. However they have absolutely dominated division 2A (winning 83% of their games!), in a division that includes O&H, EE, and Divine Domination (more on DD below).

4. Immortal AssassinsThe Immortal Assassins have a 3-1 record in clan wars, including defeats over AOD and BPB. Their only loss is to TSM (above). IA is also in second place in division 1A in this season’s CLA League, ahead of THOTA who is in third place and behind KORT.

5. Legends of WarTheir 5 wins are pretty impressive. They won a 36-24 match over Empire (ranked 6th on this list) and a 16-8 win over The Untouchables, who would have been considered for the top 10 if the clan were still in existence. LOW also defeated G1 28-12, and crushed PE 25-5. LOW had a record of 5-2 up till recently. Their only losses had come at the hands of the top 2 clans on this list; THOTA 32-28 and TSM 34-26 and are in second place in division 1B, only a half game behind TSM. With all this they might have been 3rd or 4th out of the top 10, however they were recently defeated, and quite soundly, by O&H (see issue 24 of The CC dispatch). With this 3rd loss, many no longer consider LOW to be at the very top. However, as their defeat of Empire, and their cla performance shows, LOW is still a clan to be taken seriously and that is why they earned my number 5 spot.

6. EmpireEmpire has an impressive 7-1 record including wins over The Legion, The Imperial Dragoons, Nemesis, BSS and a somewhat underrated Agents of Chaos. Empire blasted Nemesis 41-23 handing them their first loss. There are a few other blowout wins, AOC 38-22, The Worlds of the Wort 15-5, however other wins were not so impressive. Empire defeated Black Sheep Squadron 21-19 and The Legion by an even smaller margin 16-15. None the less, had it not been for their loss to LOW, Empire might be ranked in the top 3.

Empire has also not been that impressive in CLA League, they currently have a 34-35 record and are 4th place in division 1A. Not an embarrassment by any means, considering that the clan above them in 3rd place is THOTA. Divisions 1A and 1B are filled with most of the best clans on CC, however to be ranked in the top 5 a clan has to be able to shine against this top competition. Empire gets 6th place for me.

7. Knights of the Round TableThe Knights of the Round Table seemed to be an all-star team in the making. They recruited many top players and were expected to take the clan world by storm (much in the way that TOFU has). They are leading division 1A, an impressive feat, above IA, THOTA and Empire, however their clan wars have not been as impressive.

KORT has a record of 1-0-1. Their first clan war ended in a 15-15 tie against Generation 1, a 3-5-1 clan with most of its losses coming to top clans. KORT came back to win their next clan war over The Brethren of the Fat Mermaid, (see issue 23 of The CC Dispatch) with a score that is currently listed at 38-17 with 5 games still not recorded. The Brethren are a good clan, with players like BoganGod and Draq, however with an 0-3 record it is hard to gauge the value of KORT’s victory over them. For these reasons KORT gets 7th place. Cla aside, they still have not proven themselves to be top 5 quality.

8. NemesisAfter jotting down my top 7 clans, it became more difficult to decide who would get the last three spots. So I made a spreadsheet with a few columns. I put a check in one column for every clan that had a winning record in clan wars. Next I put a check next to every clan that had a winning record in CLA. One thing jumped out at me. There were only two clans who were not already on my top 10 list, who had both winning clan records and winning records in the current season of CLA. One was Nemesis, the other was Agents of Chaos (more on them below). Nemesis has a 3-1 record with wins over Mythology, Imperial Britain and Left4Dead; their only loss coming to Empire (above). They also have a 36-28 record in CLA League, good for 4th place in division 1B.

9. Angels of DeathAngels of Death (formerly LOD) has an 9-4 record. Their 9 wins are all over mid-level clans, The Brethren or Mythology perhaps being the best of the bunch. Their losses however are mostly to good clans. They were beaten handily 37-23 by The Imperial Dragoons, however their other losses were all nail biters. They lost 23-22 against G1 and 11-9 against IA! Not a bad showing. Their other loss was a 5-4 loss to Freemium Forces in a 9 game clan war which probably should not count. AOD clearly deserves a spot in the top 10 with this record. However their CLA League performance has been less than stellar, 31-33 in division 1A. For this reason, and the absence of any victories over top ranked clans, AOD gets a 9th place rank from me.

10. Imperial DragoonsThis was the toughest clan to place on this list. The Imperial Dragoons have a 3-3 record, the only clan on this list that isn't over .500. Surely I couldn’t put ID above Empire (6-1) who defeated ID. Perhaps I could have put them above AOD, who ID had defeated. ID’s losses were all to top clans, THOTA, TOFU and Empire. Their wins were over AOD, Skyforce and a 13 game win over Murder Inc. Overall not bad, and they beat AOD by a margin of 37-23. They also lost to THOTA 53-47, a pretty good showing.

However to be considered a top clan one has to win. It’s hard to put a 3-3 clan above a 9-4 clan. Also, ID has a 32-37 record in CLA division 1A, good for 5th place in that division. This tells me that perhaps ID is not as good as they have been in the past. However should they win their current challenge against IA (it's tied at 15-15), I would have to bump them up a couple of spots on the list, perhaps even above KORT.

Honorable Mentions:

BPB The Bullet Proof Bandits have had an impressive showing in the CLA League, currently 39-25 and in 3rd place in division 1B. On the other hand, their clan war record is a pedestrian 1-1. They have a win over BSS, nothing to sneeze at, but only by a margin of 21-19. Their loss came at the hands of IA, a clan that I think very highly of. In the end two clan challenges just weren't enough to put them above AOD or ID.

O&HThe Outlaws and Highwaymen officially show a record of 2-2, however their two most recent victories have not been recorded. They will be at 4-2 when their two clan wars finish, including an impressive win over LOW (see issue 24). On the other hand their CLA League performance is a poultry 16-24 in division 2B. Another problem is their two losses. They lost to BSS (a good clan, but not in my top 10) and Divine Domination, a clan playing in their first clan war. O&H would have to be ranked around 11 or 12 at the moment for me. On the other hand, should they win their next clan war against G1 (they currently lead 5-4), this could solidify them as a top 10 contender.

AOCI actually consulted some experts on this one. My final two spots had come down to AOD, ID, BPB, O&H, and AOC, and I was seriously considering putting Agents of Chaos in the 9 or 10 spot on the list. They have a 3-1-1 record and are leading their division in CLA League. So why didn’t they make the top 10. For one thing, their three wins all came against very low ranked clans. They had a tie against Mythology, not bad, but Mythology didn’t make the top 10 either. The only top clan that they played was Empire, and they lost that war 38-22. Finally, although they are crushing their division in CLA League (27-13), it is division 2B.

For AOC to move up to the top 10, they have to beat a top clan and/or win in division 1 CLA. So although they are a good clan, they still have not proven themselves to be at the very to of CC clan competition. A win against an AOD or Nemesis is probably what it would take to vault them up to the top 10.

Rising Star

Divine DominationI will end with an up and coming clan to watch for in the future. Divine domination has completed 1 clan war, defeating O&H by a score of 33-27, not bad for a clan’s first challenge. Don’t forget that O&H is the clan that just defeated LOW by a good margin. DD is also in second place in division 2A, with a loosing record albeit (19-21), but every clan in that division has a losing record. TOFU is rolling 2A with an 83% win percentage. However, to be in second place behind TOFU is not a bad spot for a new clan, and they are just a few games shy of being over .500. I suspect that this will be a clan to keep an eye on.

Final comments

It’s unlikely that anyone will agree on the exact ranking of every clan. Some will place more value on players they know in the clan, or how they think the clan will perform in the future. I went with a system that weighed more on the past and more on winning and loosing clan wars because I felt that one cannot guess how a clan will do in the future. A record on the other hand is something that a clan has proven. And after all, winning clan wars is what we all strive for, not winning percentage. I personally would much rather my clan win 3 wars 21-19 then win 1 war 34-16 and loose 2 wars 19-21. So this is how I graded clans, how many wars did they win and how many they lost. As Bill Belichick, coach of the New England Patriots once said, “Stats are for losers, final scores are for winners”.

COME SHOW WHAT YOUR CLAN IS REALLY MADE OF!! demanded Chuuuuck as he launched the first annual Conqueror's Cup, and within hours he had been joined by CC’s finest, keen to take part in the first knockout inter-clan competition.

The contest is on an epic scale with 19 clans competing in a bracket competition. Each contest will constitute a clan war in itself, with 48 games played between clans in the early rounds, and 68 games in each semi and the finals – not to mention games to be played in pre-season qualifiers. Adding all that up, you see the size of Chuuuuck’s vision, and what has got so many clans excited. If all goes to plan, by December over 800 games will have been played. The winners might enjoy a similar status to those who take home the much-coveted title of winner of the only comparable competition, the Clan League.

Chuuuuck wrote:One thing is constant in the clan forums, people are arguing over the rankings, who is better than who, and how "Clan A" hasn't really played anyone. Everyone seems to agree that the bigger clan wars that most clans participate in are a good way of judging who is better. So I decided a bracket style tournament where clans don't get to choose who they play, and they play each other in larger clans wars might be the best way to settle "who is the best".

Chuuuuck’s own Empire were the first clan in, soon joined by all but a handful of the top clans. The Cup thread quickly made its’ way to the top of the clan forum, as CC heavyweights, notably Incandenza and Foxglove, helped out with planning, and others (you know who you are) began the all-important trash talk. Chuuuuck appreciates the enthusiasm and the help he has received from those in his own clan and beyond, especially TheSpaceCowboy who came up with the name the "Conqueror's Cup" and will be helping with the admin once the tourney gets going.

Seeding was decided by vote. Clan leaders ranked the participants, with the results counted together to give each clan their position in the draw. THOTA sit at the top, followed by TOFU, Empire and Immortal Assassins. There were enough surprises to launch a heated debate on where each clan will finish (Conqueror's Cup Predictions), but all agree they will prove their case where it counts, on the field of battle. Chuuuuck himself is quietly confident about the strengths of his own clan:

Chuuuuck wrote:Obviously, I am biased. I think some players feel we are over-rated, but I feel Empire has gotten a lot better over the past year and I personally believe we are under-rated. I feel we will make a strong showing and at least make it to the semi-finals.

The first round offers some great match-ups. Legends of War are looking to avenge their recent defeat at the hands of the Outlaws and Highwaymen, while Knights of the Round Table and Generation 1 will play it out for a win after their draw last time up.

The pre-season qualifiers kick off on February 17th, as the lower ranked teams duke it out to make the first round proper which is scheduled to start in March. We will be covering the games here.

A final comment from the tourney organiser:

Chuuuuck wrote:A very big thanks to jpcloet and Marval for everything they do for the clan scene, and a big thanks to the clan community as a whole. Their participation and excitement is what makes this tournament truly exciting.

Q. Hey there PimpdaveA. Hey, thanks for doing this, nagerous. You're one of the coolest people here. Also, thanks for all the work you newsletter folks do. It's a real testament to the strength of the community we've all come to value that this thing happens.

Q. What's your favourite colour?A. Green

Q. Is your first name Dave or Pimp?A. It is actually neither. My first name is Dr. Octavious Pimpdave McAwesomeFace

Q. What does Dave think about you pimping him?A. He actually thinks I've done a really good job.

Q. What is the best book you have ever read, and why?A. Catch-22. It breaks my heart and fills it back up. Human nature on parade.

Q. Did you manage to get Sergei hooked up?A. Fortunately for you, I'm pretty sure Sergei is still single, so you should drop him a line. I'll tell him you are in love with him for you. Because I'm a good friend like that. You can call him at 867-5309. He'd love to hear from you.

Q. How many accounts have you had on Conquer Club?A. Current estimates place the number over 9000.

Q. By what was your tenure at McGill University marked?A. Inventions, primarily.

Q. Why is it the most powerful Uni ever?A. Because power was invented there in 1863.

Q.When did McGill University invent you?A. Immediately after inventing the concept of being completely awesome which then was transmuted to me because it had to manifest as something.

Q. What is your favourite song? You can tell a suprising amount about a person with just that one question!A. Well, if that's the case, you'll have to let me throw down like, 5, if you're going to read into it so much. That sort of thing changes often, but I can list 5 songs that have resonated with me over the years and that I can sing along to flawlessly.

Q. In what faculty?A. Executive Vice President of Determining Inventions

Q. How many babes did you make while there?A. What does make "babes mean"? Is that illegal? How did you hear about that? I mean, I'm not at liberty to discuss any top secret synthetic babe manufacturing that may or may not have been invented at McGill University during my tenure.

Q. Is Canadian beer as good as they say it is?A. It's okay.

Q. Who invented hockey?A. Some dudes on Long Island. SUCKERS.

Q. Did you know that everything was invented at McGill University, including McGill University?A. Except for hockey and football, you jackasses, yes.

Q. Do you think the space-time continuum would be torn asunder because everything was invented at McGill University?A. No, why would it be?

Q. You're a GH member now, so I must ask: do you feel lucky punk?A. Not in general.

Q. Do you have any diseases or physical traits that hinder you in any way?A. Yes, I suffer from the condition known as "the much too sexy". This presents many beautiful women hindering my path with their pleas for my attention.

Q. What are your favorite parts of your body and personality? What are your least favorites?A. All of them.

Q. If you HAD to commit suicide, how would you do it?A. If I HAD to commit suicide, it would be because I am a spy who has been captured, so I'd pop a cyanide pill to prevent my breaking under interrogation (everybody breaks).

Q. Do you have any deeply disturbing memories?A. Everyone does.

Q. What is the purpose/meaning of your life?A. …

Q. Have you ever had any thoughts about being a woman?A. Not really. Not like I ever wanted to be one, but I've tried to put myself in their shoes on occasion.

Q. What is your favorite song? Band? Singer/songwriter?A. The Roots

Q.What is your favorite fast food? Favorite item?A. In N' Out Burger, but that might just be because I only have it when I go out to the West Coast, so it seems more special. As for stuff near me, I like Wendy's, if I have to have fast food, because of the (probably incorrect) perception that it's the most healthful one. I like California style burgers.

Q. What is your favorite sit-in restaurant, and item?A. It's not a chain. I eat too much red meat, but my favorite is buffalo, be it burgers, steak or whatever. Buffalo meat is so good and lean. I'm also a big fan of any kind of food I've never tried before. I like trying food from all different cultures and locations.

Q. What is your favorite TV show? Writer? Actor?A. The Wire; David Simon and Ed Burns, especially when Dennis Lehane does an episode.

Q. What is your favorite book? Writer?A. Catch-22, as I said. Favorite writer right now is Dennis Lehane.

Q. What is your favorite game? Format?A. Memoir '44.

Q. If you could choose, what would be your last words?A. I'm going home.

Q. If you have one, who is/was your favorite American president?A. Abraham Lincoln. For reasons too personal to post here.

Q. What is your favorite war of all time?A. Star Wars.

Q. Do you think that you enjoy answering questions more, less, or about as much as Juan_Bottom or Snorri1234?A. Caring about this question was invented at McGill University in the year shut up.

Q. Would you trade a blastoise for a pikachu?A. WAT. Would this be before or after I gave you a super-mega-nuclear noogie for being such a huge dork? J/K LOL! SAX ATTAK!

Q. What is the average wing-speed velocity of a swallow, either African or European?A. Depends on whether that swallow is above, below, or at the equator, but it's at least 9,000 miles per second.

Q. What is your favorite past time altogether?A. Informing the world of all the glorious achievements of McGill University.

Q. If you were able to choose exactly, how would you prefer to die?A. Saving someone else's life. And yes, there is someone in particular I wish I could go back and save in my place.

Q. If you had to part with a piece of your body, what would it be?A. Wisdom teeth. Oops too late.

Q. If you had to live out the plot of a horror movie, what would it be?A. 28 Days Later

Q. What is your favorite car? Make, model, and/or year?A. '68 Mustang Boss in Bullitt Green. Since those are hard to come by, I'll settle for a BMW 5 series in black.

Q. Do you think MaleAlphaThree's list of question is the list he submits to babes on dating sites?A. I don't know, but I do think it's copypasta.

Q. What is your favorite map and why?A. I like New World because it's a cool concept, and I've never won on it yet. I also like Battle of Actium. I don't know why, I just think it's cool. Oh, and the Prison one is pretty cool too, but that's just because Juan_Bottom is a great teammate to have on that map, and I remember the games I've played with him there very fondly. In conclusion, DBC IS GREATEST CLAN IN ALL OF CONQUER CLUB, ALL OTHER CLANS HAVE INFERIOR FUN.

Q. If you got randomly selected to go to Mars would you?A. If it meant my name went down in history as a hero like Neil Armstrong, then absolutely. Otherwise, I'd have to think about it.

Q. Will you be attending a Muse show during their current North American tour?A. Not this time, but I've seen them live before, and they are awesome.

Q. What level is your Blastoise?A. Seriously, I'm gonna give you a wedgie.

Q. How many bitches are you pimping currently?A. None. I don't pimp bitches. That is disrespectful to women and I do not do that. (psst, bitches, get at me if you wanna make some money!)

Q. What is the nature of your relationship with #1_stunna?A. He's one of my multis. Along with the other obvious ones, like Snorri, killing.44, saxitoxin, and Twill.

Q. What are your complete thoughts on the #1_stunna and Beckytheblondie scandal?A. Teenage angst has paid off well, now I'm bored and old.

If you have a story you think the ConquerClub Community would find interesting, you can submit your articles to samuelc812 or nagerous. If the CC Dispatch Team enjoy it than you may just see your article published in the Newsletter!

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Have you ever formed a relationship with a conquer club user? Specifically, have you ever created a business relationship involving the protection of another conquer club user who sells his/her body to other users? More specifically, have you ever pimped #1_stunna out?