My girlfriends sexual past bothers me, what am I supposed to do?

I've been with my gf 7 months. For a while I've had an issue around her sexual past as I've been in a long term relationship before her and had a limited amount of sexual partners.

She has been with 19 other people which I think is extremely high, she's also had a lot of adventurous sex on things like holidays, been with 2 guys in the same day and many 1 night stands.

We've had many chats around it and she's said things like she regrets most of her partners as she's only had 3 bfs before me 1 of them she has 2 children with.

The main things that bother me are the nature of some of the sex such as the 2 guys and the total which I think is real high. I've got better with dealing with it, but I can't help but sometimes look at her and see her as trashy and easy and I feel I'm not getting anything new, loads of people have been there done that.

I'm not sure it will ever completely go away... or what I'm supposed to do?

You have to remember that people are a sum of their experiences. If you love her and you care for her, then the person you love is her, past and all. If it weren't for her past, she may not be the person you love today. So, if you truly love her and you want to stay with her, then you need to put it behind you and move on.

I doubt you're as concerned of her past as you are threatened by it. You probably wonder if you measure up to the other 19 or if she will be satisfied with only you when she's had so many other partners. If you trust her and she's given you no reason to suspect she's cheated, then there shouldn't be concern. Remember, she chose you to be with, not any of the other 19.

What you should be more concerned about is the two children that she has with someone else. This could cause a lot of drama and grief to you. But, if she has a good custody arrangement worked out and is civil with the children's father, the it could work out. Just don't do anything to make the children's lives more difficult than they already are.

It's ultimately your decision. But if you decide to stay with her, drop the subject and don't ever bring it up again. She doesn't deserve to be beaten up about it every time you start to feel insecure about the relationship.

@AMRtx:
There is soo much support for women who has sex with multipule partner especially from the gusy who have been sleeping around with these women. It is beacuse of such perverts who claim to be lover and women who wants sex in the name of lovem true can be expressed without sex.
Also read that studies says - women keep dna from male they have intercourse with.
http://www.deccanchronicle.com/lifestyle/sex-and-relationship/270617/find-out-how-women-keep-dna-from-men-she-has-had-sex-with.html

Get over it. As long as she's not cheating why does it matter how many people she's been with? If it was the other a way around and you were the one that had been with 19 people and she was freaked out, what eould you do? Nothing. You'd probably consider yourself a stud and tell her it's in the past. Well, same goes for this situation. As a person. If she makes you happy, and she's loyal, then you should enjoy those positives and stop dwelling on the negative.

@TruthBTold:
The amount bothers me because I see it as a lot, I don't like the "everyone has been there" feeling that I have. I wouldn't consider myself a stud and I'd understand her concerns if it was the other way around but it's not so I don't know.

It's not so much of the total, is more the nature of things she's done. Sometimes I feel negative towards her and I also feel like theres nothing new we can share together .

I'm trying my best not to dwell on the negative, but it's always in the back of my mind

@Kingslayer:
19 partners was a "whole lot" decades ago, but today on a large college campus, it's often the norm by the time a student gets out of grad school. 19 partners for a they typical outgoing guy who's spent 4-8 years in college and into casual sex, isn't earth shattering nor should it be for a female. I agree 100% though... that isn't the issue.

The issue should be if she has 2 kids, no education, and couldn't support herself on her own. If THAT is true, then I wouldn't advise having kids with, or getting in to a serious relationship with *any* woman that proves to be a huge financial liability.

The question in my mind is usually how long has she been sexually active. I expect that most of the 1 night stands and the 2 guys in one day was when she was young and a long time ago. That since she has had kids then she is a little more responsible. All I can say is that she is probably a changed person by now.

I would not want all my early mistakes with people to be a reflection on who I am today. I think that is true for everyone.

Dude, I totally get you on this. I have a very similar situation. I am in love with a girl who has had probably 100 different partners. Threesomes multiple times and girl on girl. I have been with many women, but think it's different for women. My issue? She still messages guys who flirt with her. She says they are just friends, but I don't buy it. The last time she hooked up with a guy was about 6 months ago when she was fucked up. I accept her as she is, but the thoughts do creep into my head sometimes. If it was all in her past I would be better, but I am not convinced. Ultimately if you cannot let this feeling go it will always haunt you.

@loveyoubabe:
That's one you do not marry the legal & financial hit is too much live with be with fine. The key is to really know your self. Many men do not know themselves and are deeply into doing what they are supposed to do,by society's standards.
Now she might know herself better and knows what she likes. Now in love tells me nothing. People can be "in love" and the object of this has no clue. Or they are casually going out.
If you had a "relationship & boundaries etc, a year ago then that would give pause. Many people have friends of the opposite sex. Some might be passed lovers. I know I do and have no problem with them having such. Unless you lived as a hermit or monk then you have no grounds for criticism. Just remember,not to marry ever. You money will be more important as you age. There is no guarantee that you will be gainfully employed at 50.

Some people can handle his/her partner's sexual past, others just can't. Is it insecurity? Yes, most of the time. But the point is it isn't going to go away just like that. You have a (let's say) conservative past, she has more of a liberal one. Your challenge here is getting to be sure if this is a real problem. You have to ask yourself: would I be bothered if my girlfriend had just a little more sexual experience than me? Are you two incompatible or is it you are way too sensitive about your partner's sexual past?
If you are exaggerating you should try to solve your problem. But if your are not then you better brake up this relationship and you look for a girl whose past is more like yours.

@Anonymous:
Wow, ok I'm not sure if you two are compatible if you think her sexual past is disgusting. Are you afraid she will cheat or that you don't measure up somehow? Is she asking you to have a threesome? If not don't sweat it, she's with you, you are her choice.

@GirlwithQuestions:
I have, it goes good and bad. I don't want to make her feel bad about the things she has done, but at the same time I don't want to keep having the negative feelings towards her or feeling less for her than I could do just because she's done things I don't like

my GF was like that. you will have to watch her all your life. There are high chances of cheating.. you can not satisfy her. 2 guys could not satisfy her. if you want to live happily stay away from her.

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