In desperate need of blood, Count Dracula (Kier) leaves his native Romania and sets out on a quest to find some virgins in pastoral Italy.

With his faithful assistant Anton (Juerging) in tow, the Count travels to the Italian countryside, and there he encounters the Di Fiore family, a decaying, once aristocratic brood with four beautiful, lovely daughters.

Only problem? Uh, none of the Di Fiore sisters are virgins...indeed, the daughters are all unabashed whores!

Bad acting, breathtaking scenery and sets, hilarious dialogue (and numerous competing dialects too, for that matter) all combine to make this Warhol Factory creation alternately comedic, weird, slightly scary, and just plain offbeat all around. If you're in the right frame of mind, this can be fun.

Only question left unanswered: what is Claudio Gizzi's beautiful score doing hanging around with such dizzying trash?