Adam Carolla isn’t sorry. He’s not sorry that some people don’t think he’s funny. He’s not sorry that women think he said they’re not funny. He’s not sorry that he’s pissed off various special interest groups, and he’s certainly not sorry that he’s an honest guy. The fact is, Carolla doesn’t have to say he is sorry, because that is the liberty he enjoys as his own boss.

I was able to snag Carolla for a few minutes via phone, between radio interviews, and we discussed how he believes the New York Post “misquoted” his comments regarding female comics, how he’s dealt with the resulting criticism, why he thinks men are turning into women, and his love of classic cars, among other things.

AC: Oh listen, I don’t care. First off, I don’t work for Viacom, CBS, Les Moonves, NBC, ABC, or FOX. I don’t work for anybody. I have a podcast. I sell books and I sell theater tickets. Obviously, I was misquoted. I didn’t say, “Women aren’t funny.” I said that men are funnier than women, because I was asked if men are funnier than women. I just told the truth, and then people took it and ran with it, and it’s fine.

Basically, I think about vintage racing all day. I think about cars and building stuff. I don’t think about comedy, I don’t watch the shows, and I don’t read the blogs. People saying, “Screw Adam, he’s not funny” — that doesn’t make a difference to me. I spend all day on eBay looking at race trailers, trying to figure out how to haul my racecars. You have no idea how much time I spend focused on vintage racecars and car tire sizes, rim sizes, offsets, compounds, and stuff like that. I don’t even get involved with comedy.

UP: How do you deal with the criticism that you receive for situations like this, or just anything in general?

AC: In the past, you’d be doing something and somebody like Guy Aoki* — who claims that he represented some Asian group that he probably made up — would pressure your radio station until you’d apologize, because he could go after your sponsors. But I don’t have that anymore. I work for myself, I own a warehouse. The warehouse has a studio in it, and I do a podcast out of it. Everyone who works there, I employ.

Everyone can kiss my ass, I don’t care. I’m not involved with Hollywood, I don’t want to be involved with Hollywood. In terms of the future or whatever, it’s like, “Hey man, you don’t want to piss off Les Moonves, because what about your next CBS project?” There is no next CBS project, because I wouldn’t work for them. I don’t want to work in terrestrial radio, I don’t want to do a sitcom. I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself. I built it so they can’t take it away.

So to summerize, he doesn’t care about being funny, whether or not anyone finds him funny, or pissing off people. He thinks about cars all day, doesn’t care about comedy and just keeps taking suckers money to fund this lifestyle.

And yet a metric buttload of other really funny people who hone their craft nightly, can’t catch a break. Excuse me while I find an oven to pop my fucking head into.

With about a million subscribers to his free podcast, Carolla’s getting money from significant national advertisers too — which as a professional in that business I can tell you doesn’t happen if you’re a complete asshole, or unpopular. Maybe that’s your problem, Twister.

One more non salient point. Corolla is proof that anit-bullying measures are not universal. In a just world some other kid would have bullied poor Adam growing up so throughly that every time he tried to open his mouth as an adult he would stutter and piss himself.

Question: I’m a thoughtful dude who is sensitive about others’ feelings and generally want to nurture an environment where people can be happy and become fully self actualized. I realize that this makes me a woman, but does my ability to BEAT THE HOLY FUCK OUT OF ADAM COROLLA WITH MY FISTS UNTIL HIS BONES ARE ALL BROKEN make me a man?

Or is it not enough that I am able to deliver to him LEVELS OF VIOLENCE AND DESTRUCTION THAT HIS WEAK BODY COULD NOT WITHSTAND AS HIS CHEST CAVITY CRASHES AND PUNCTURES HIS LUNGS UNTIL HE IS VERY MUCH DEAD should we even have a 110% consensual and legally sanctioned fight between two adults?

Sorry guys, I’m just confused: am I lady with lady parts or am I man? I don’t care about cars any, if that helps.

I sometimes forget that not everyone can see blatant bullshit, so here goes:

Corolla thinks being a woman is bad and being a man is good. For women to become good they needed to become more like men, or at least his notion of what a man is. He then thinks that men have been forced to become more like women, which is bad, because white men are now expected to be respectful and decent.

His notion of manliness is to be gross, disrespectful, hostile, racist, and otherwise just fucking awful to people because something about “shooting straight” or “calling a spade a spade” or whatever bullshit he wants to say today.

I think that’s silly because I believe that a big part of being an adult, because that is what matters and gender concepts aren’t very important to me, is that you should be decent and ethical and always try to become a better person. Part of being a better person is to come to terms with how you may have hurt other people and to make amends and not do it again, instead of merely yelling at them for not having thicker skin.

I wanted to juxtapose his notion of manliness with one equally as childish to illustrate how full of shit he is.

I do not wish to do violence to him. That’s not who I am anymore. But, if he wanted to sanction a totally legally and consensual fight between the two of us I would kick the holy fuck out of him. Because I’m more of a man than he is.

What do you mean by “total lack of sympathy for people who are not successful white men”? Wild exaggeration, as well as a failure to truly grapple with a view you disagree with.

He says men are funnier than women (true, with exceptions merely proving the rule), and that immigration and public schooling in Los Angeles highlights the hypocrisy of people who say they want higher taxes. Yet they dodge taxes, and send their own kids to private schools. So, they’re hypocrites. WHITE hypocrites. White liberals tend to misinterpret criticism of THEM as criticism of women, minorities, etc. I THINK it’s by accident. Silly liberals with their fancy college! Read what I said again, because your brain probably interpreted my whole comment as DOWN WITH DARKIES AND DAMES

If you truly think his issues are as simple as you’ve attempted to describe them, then I pity your comprehension skills.

I used to listen to Loveline for years, and Adam never made fun of the people who needed help – he made fun of the people who were doing something monumentally stupid and then asking Dr. Drew to tell them it is an ok thing to do, or how to avoid the consequences of being so aggressively ignorant.

I don’t get into pod casts of any kind, so I haven’t followed his career since Loveline, but he does embody the Republic ideal – he took what he had, and made a place for himself. Whatever his other faults, he has ensured that he can make money without having to rely overmuch on other people giving him permission to do so.

Adam has stated numerous times that he’s been trough a ton of counseling, and it’s pretty clear from even a minimal attempt to learn more about him that he takes care of family and friends. It seems likely that he isn’t perfect, that there are things he could do to make himself more like Ghandi or whatever, but his main complaint, his main intolerance, is people that don’t handle their own shit, and people who insist that everything about everyone should be equal.

The only thing that ought to be equal for everyone is the opportunity to make the most of what they have. A lot of people won’t do the work involved in that, and Adam has a pretty limited amount of patience for people who won’t WORK.

I’m a mega-lefty pinko progressive from San Francisco, and I love Carolla. I grew up with him. Loveline was an insanely important phenomenon that doesn’t get enough credit. He’s not a republican, I don’t know how many times he has to say it. He’s vaguely conservative economically and fairly liberal on social issues. You ask him a loaded question about whether men are funnier than women, he gives a what he thinks an honest answer. I don’t think refusing to answer makes you any more of a feminist. The internet’s white knight complex is as boring as it is unhelpful.

He does seem pretty dumb, though, whether or not he’s sexist. Some celebrities shouldn’t open their mouths about serious issues in a serious way; make jokes, fine, but leave the important discussions to people like scientists, politicians and people whose credentials aren’t just catching a lucky break and popularity. Just look at what happened when Jenny McCarthy put her shirt on and learned how to spell “vaccine.”

So he’s a big fan of – and blessed to be working with – someone who doesn’t understand how the First Amendment works. Someone who thought our first Muslim Congressman shouldn’t be “allowed” to take his Oath of Office while holding a Koran.

“Keith Ellison, D-Minn., the first Muslim elected to the United States Congress, has announced that he will not take his oath of office on the Bible, but on the bible of Islam, the Koran.

He should not be allowed to do so — not because of any American hostility to the Koran, but because the act undermines American civilization.
…
Mr. Ellison, America, not you, decides on what book its public servants take their oath.
…
On what grounds will those defending Ellison’s right to choose his favorite book deny that same right to a racist who is elected to public office?
…
So why are we allowing Keith Ellison to do what no other member of Congress has ever done — choose his own most revered book for his oath?
…
When all elected officials take their oaths of office with their hands on the very same book, they all affirm that some unifying value system underlies American civilization. If Keith Ellison is allowed to change that, he will be doing more damage to the unity of America and to the value system that has formed this country than the terrorists of 9-11. ”

The ratio of swell to non-swell people varies from country to country, so it’s entirely possible that 75% of the people his age that agree with him aren’t swell. Use the same argument for a different country and there could be fewer or more swell people.

I think Carolla is hilarious. I listen to at least a little bit of his podcast just about every day and have bought both books. With that being said, his political views are simplistic and stupid. I skip past parts of his podcast where he discusses taxes and his podcast with Prager was unlistenable.

Hahahahaha! Carolla is where he is, because he survived on welfare and food stamps. Jesus, it’s incredible how wilfully ignorant and hypocritical Republicans can be. Fixing stuff and fighting is “being a man”. Cars, vroom vroom!!! Look at my big penis!!

It is SHOCKING how insecure some of you folks come off, and you’re completely unaware of it.

There’s no difference between the likes of Carolla – who I occasionally enjoy but won’t attempt to defend because it’s pointless, and he deserves most of the criticism – and yourself. He thinks men who don’t act like the stereotype of manliness are “becoming chicks,” and you think men who know how to get a little dirty or like to drive cars (or heaven forbid, trucks) “have a small penis,” and are overcompensating, rather than just maybe enjoying those things.

And why any of those things make you “Republican” I have NO fucking idea.

corolla is pretty awesome. i dont agree 100% with some of the stuff he says but thats OK. i dont have to jump up his fucking ass every time someone doesn’t say something i agree with. hes a comedian, they often say shit that pisses people off and offends them. until he pulls a chris brown and actually beats the shit out of a woman you can save your indignation. you dont have to pile on the criticism to prove your feminist credentials.

My favorite part: everyone here believes what he says. It’s an act, people. He found his niche- his way to do what he wants and make money so he ran with it. He likely believes some of what he says but he is first and foremost an entertainer and a performer. But as a comedian, unlike an actor, you have to BE that person all the time in public n order for people to buy into it. He would give his left nut to have had the carreer of someone like Letterman or Sienfeld. Those guys call their own shots, do what they want and control their own careers but did it by entertaining people rather than just becoming a character for slack jaws to gawk at.

I like Adam Corolla but the idea that any of this is more than an act to sell books and tickets is laughable. He is smarter than that the stuff he spews.

Some people seem to confuse “honesty” with intelligence. I used to listen to his podcast, until I realized what a smug idiot he is. No wonder he likes Hannity, et al. Here’s a guy who basically survived his childhood because his mom was on welfare, and now thinks that no one should have welfare because it makes them lazy. Um, jackass, you’d be dead if it wasn’t for welfare. Does the system need reform, of course, but just getting rid of it is the simple-minded answer to a complex problem. And this is his problem, he thinks everything is simple to fix, and doesn’t have a clue just how complex the issues are. Also, he has admitted many times that his whole career is based on luck. He met people who hooked him up, and inspired him. But everyone else is a lazy a-hole, because he’s successful and they aren’t? That’s doucebaggery at its finest. Listen to him if you like, and then go watch Fox News and read the NY Post. That’s the bubble you live in.

Working hard, staying in school, staying off drugs and not commiting crimes aren’t hard for normal people to do. And that will lead you to a better life, no matter where you start out on the economic scale.

I liked Adam on Loveline. He is really very much an everyman. In some ways, his money has changed him though. I am sure that when he was making minimum wage he may not have thought it so great that he was paying high interest rates on money he borrowed, that his student loans from his brief college career were guaranteed by the govt yet lent by a private bank with a no risk profit. I imagine that if he were making 30K like most of his peers, he might think that health care should be reachable by everyone. I liked him very much but when he had Breitbart on the show, I had a major pause. His rant on OWS (which I am not a huge fan of but I understand it and support the basic premise) lost me. Adam has been very lucky and found a niche. There are tons of more talented but less successful people just as there are plenty of less talented and more successful. I mean, Rob Scheider, Polly Shore, etc… Adam can believe what he wants and say what he wants and some will listen and some will decide he has become a big giant Dick, like I do, and tune him out. He is still funny but I won’t support him any longer.

I’m rich. I’m white. I’m a guy. I say shit…. fuck you if you don’t like it.

Adam Carolla, ladies and gents.

I worked a conference he was a vendor at a few years ago, back when his podcast was just starting. he was there like 3 days… seemed like a really sad guy the whole time. Not mean to be people, but not terribly happy about much of anything. just seemed down.

Carolla was never very funny or entertaining. He only seemed talented woeking next to Dr Drew. We all got a demonstration of how out of his league he was on the man show when paired with a comedian who honed his craft and became a superstar. But I’m sure Adam considers Jimmy Kimmel a pussy sell-out on some level. Anyway, no more time to waste, I gots trannys to rebuild, dudes to fuck up, and broads to put in their place. You know, real man shit to do.