News round-up – the best of the week’s stories

Shopper gets run over in Tesco by pensioner thug on wheels bw/mobility
Excellent trolling of the new Roy Keane book bw/prawnsandwich
Water companies the latest to threaten customers with fake firms bw/swines
Does the invisible umbrella look like a weird dildo? bw/brolly
Toll roads - do we need to change the way they work? bw/tolls
Watch customers getting thrown in a pit bw/northface
Hate kids on flights? Read this bw/children
Sainsbury's halve the worth of Nectar points bw/nectar
You can now get people to tweet you money bw/twitter
Drive a Toyota or Lexus? Read about the recall bw/fault