Nicole Kidman was definitely a contender for SAG best in Vivienne Westwood. But even if you can get past the lips, can you really get past the hair? Gwyneth Paltrow’s straightening iron met Keith Urban. Had it been flat against her head, perhaps it wouldn’t be so weird. But there’s a humped tease on either side of her part and I can’t understand how that happens. To someone like Nicole Kidman. How do you do this to Nicole Kidman?

But I do like Nicole Kidman, the nerd. Check her out being super lame behind Tom Hooper on the carpet. This is what happens when Keith Urban isn’t with her and she’s not trying to show us that she’s so loved all the time. And I prefer it. Let me see that awkward geek who doesn’t know what to do with her hands, who can’t help but fill the moment with a bad joke. I think I could love her.