Finalist: Best Female Football Blog 2014 (partnered with Huffington Post)

Saturday, 9 March 2013

A Letter from Santa's Friend

Queens Park Rangers 3 Sunderland 1

Dearest Emily,

I bet you are surprised to hear from me, the Easter Bunny. I know you didn't write to me. You don't think quite so highly of me, as you do of Santa. But one thing you maybe didn't know is that Santa and I live next door to each other. And when you wrote to him back in December he told me all about your story and the things he had arranged for the Chelsea win. I became fascinated by your story, and I've been following the Rs ever since.

It hasn't all been great for Rangers since then I suppose. A missed penalty against Norwich seemed to be a turning point for the worse. And the 4-1 drubbing at Swansea was like a nail in the coffin in some ways. I know you felt that way anyway, because your blogs were so bloody depressing I was quite close to slitting my chocolate wrists on a couple of occasions. It's a good thing Mrs Bunny had caught me close to the act, and reminded me that life wasn't all about football and your blog and that I had a duty to several children every Easter that required my utmost commitment.

However, as Santa had pointed out to you in his letter to you, you do have this tendency to be extremely pessimistic about things. I realise it isn't as if QPR have been winning regularly, but did you ever expect to get anything out of Swansea away and United at home? I think you were jumping to a quick conclusion without considering the next potential run of winnable matches. In addition to that, I must tell you off for promising people at Yates's bar in Southampton last week that you would write a cheerful blog. You really do have to keep your promises young lady, or was that a promise made under the influence of one pint too many? Dear dear dear.

To be fair, though. I think I can understand where you are coming from. From what I've observed over the last couple of months, supporting a football team like QPR is a little like an illicit love affair: it's lots of ups, but plenty of downs, with passionate fights as well as big fat snogs, it's sometimes good for you..but very often it's terribly bad for you...you can't live with it, yet you can't live without it. I had no idea that it was quite so charged. And amazingly, the QPR fans keep coming back for more. Over 3,000 fans went to Southampton last week off the back of two lacklustre performances by their team. Just what were they hoping for? Well, I suppose it is all about the magic of football. The very thought that anything could happen and the mere possibility of a win keeps people coming back.

So I was shooting hoops last night with Santa (as you can imagine, I have a bit of a 'hopping' advantage', but hey, he gets to ride a sleigh in the sky every year). And he reminded me that the boys were playing Sunderland today. I rang up Mythical Character Satellite TV company to find out whether the game was on. Would you believe, they were going to charge me a special fee to get it on my TV, even after I had delivered several bespoke chocolate Easter eggs to their office last year? Once I had stern words with the CEO they finally acceded to sorting it out for me FOC. As I settled in to my settee I must say I did think QPR had a fantastic chance of winning, but I didn't think it would be with 3 goals, two of which could be contenders for goal of the month! (Wasn't Townsend fab?). And much as it pains me to say it, perhaps the Arctic training camp that Santa sent Bosingwa on has turned him a little. He's actually playing quite well now, but I admit once in a while we still get the sulks from him - a sort of languid stomping motion which I saw a couple of times at Loftus Road today (don't worry, he is not getting any chocolates this Easter). He really does have this odd manner about him, but I think that's also the case off the pitch. I saw the photos of him 'hanging out' by the pool in Dubai and he was looking extremely out of place wrapped in a towel both by the bar and his sun lounger. And who was that blond girl standing opposite him, surely she should have been standing closer to some of the more 'ripped' looking players who had their swimmers and no top on...As you people on twitter say #fail.

Anyway, you must be pleased with such a comprehensive win today? And I heard that QPR, for the second week in a row, will be making it on to Match of the Day first. Surely, you might start to believe that now it might just be possible for QPR to survive? I really do feel for you though, as on this current form and what with the battles around you, it really looks set to be another tumultuous end of season. It certainly isn't going to be settled early, either way. However, thank God you have got back to back wins, and a couple of away wins under Harry. It's such a unique little run for you. Looking back on Hughes, he really was awful wasn't he? What a complete mess he made of the team.

On another note before I sign off I'd like to remind you of what makes supporting QPR so great. Today you met @rafafernande82 (who flew all the way from the USA) and @julieqpr as well as @g_a_zz at the Springbok before the match, along with many other amazing friends you have made at QPR through that twitter world. Admittedly, there are several weirdos on it, and there are several people you'd rather not follow due to the plethora of swear words as well as the abuse they hurl at other QPR fans (not to mention a few idiots intent on bashing Koreans for 'taking their seats' in language that is purely racist). But for the most part, when you meet many of them it must remind you of what is special about being a Rangers fan: that sense of family, togetherness and a welcoming nature.

My one wish for you regardless of whether the Rangers stay up or not, is that the owners never lose sight of this and make sure they nurture it as much as possible. Looking around at all the other Premier League clubs this makes QPR truly unique.

And I wish you, and all the QPR fans an enjoyable last 9 games, whatever happens.

QPR Blogs & Podcasts

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