Mosey back to church across street from AO for stomache’ and “sprints” – exercises included LBC, H2H, Freddy Mercury, Dolly

Mosey around school back to AO for the jerkin merkin circle

20 LBC in cadence

The skinny

This was the kind of morning I wish OTF would have been outdoors but it was F3 so I had to stare at a bunch of dudes in wet shirts instead.

I was really hoping to wake up to unrelenting rain and lightning so I could bag the Q. Threatened it yesterday on The Twitter after many post golf libations. Thought I had convinced myself but when I checked the radar during my daily 3am piss it was clear that it wasn’t going to be that bad. Plus I am a man of my word. Deal w it.

Thought about doing partner merkins (hands to partners knees), monkey humpers and firemen carry squats the entire time under cover of the school awning to stay dry, but when I remembered that Gummy and Stone Cold were running in it was clear that plans would change to add some mileage for them. I’m never a selfish Q.

Evidently Jet Fuel works out with his shirt tucked in. All the time. Gummy says he looks like he belongs in a Dick’s Sporting Goods commercial as the family dad frolicking with his kids. I still see him as the odd American in a Japanese Kirin Light commercial winking at a 210 lb Japanese chick over a plate of sticky rice. Konichiwa beetches.

Hopper and I had a few funny moments which won’t be mentioned on here. Let’s just say I see cars coming in a parking lot when it’s dark out and they have their lights on.

Couple flatulent moments out there, thankfully none that I heard or were even close to from Puddin. Ever fart in the shower? That’s what it was like. Hopper wanted to know if you are truly clean if you fart in the shower?

Nobody pushed the “sprints” in my group except for HIPAA, Hopper, HIPAA, Queen and Sleepy. Which leaves YHC. Only Sprockets sprinted in group 2. Stone Cold and Gummy were only thinking about their run home.

Thank you Puddin for taking us out in prayer. Thoughts and prayers to all those in the path of Michael.

Announcements

None. But still expect some kind of comment from High Tide pushing gear on everyone.

What was 9 could have been 11. Then again last week, which was 8, could have been 9. 9 is greater than 8 which ultimately means that Gloss loses. If you understand the sauce in which I’m stirring then you would have had no problem with the triple dime bag disguised as only a nickel.

Off we went after a brief warning to the Pax.

Station #1 – The track – 10 merkins at the 4 corners

Station #2 – Bleacher work – 10 derkins, 10 step ups, 10 dips

Station #3 – Rock work – 10 curls, 10 overhead press

Station #4 – Parking lot – triple dime bags – squats on one end, dry dogs on the other

With one exception, only because I like Stone Cold, watch Twitter for possible game of ultimate Frisbee at Joust on Friday morning.

Moleskin

T claps to Jet Fuel for reminding YHC yesterday, at Hawks Nest, that I was on the schedule today at DV. Get on your games Dolly/Smokey. Alf is pissed and he is the new Assistant Deputy in town.

The damn deer were playing games with us again on the track. For those at FT a few years ago (which was the last time I attended) you know what I am talking about. I offered up both Marge and SC to tackle the damn thing and help it over the fence but they were both scared. I’d a done it myself but I too busy Q’ing.

The triple dime bag – it’s apparently a thing now. And you don’t smoke it but it seems to smoke you. You are welcome.

Not a ton of chatter but I did hear something about Hannibal and a bunch of dudes planning on going up to some cabin aka brothel in the mountains to watch the BRR? I feel I have a pretty good get away game myself but my wife would never buy that. Good luck to you gentlemen.

We finished that wonderful lap and reconvened over at the tennis pavilion aka Hot Yoga Studio

Complete 3 rounds and run down yonder and back – 20 one armed swings, 15 push press, 10 snatches

Complete 2 rounds and run down yonder and back – 20 merkins on bell, 15 high pulls, 10 lawn mowers

CMIYC back around the church going to opposite direction – crowd pleaser

COP – stomache’ exercises with a few rounds of swings

Done

Moleskine

Not sure how it happens that YHC doesn’t Q for months and then gets 2 Q’s in 4 days, at the same AO. Pretty sure those who made it both Friday and today got their $$$ worth. See you guys again in a few months.

It was unbearably moist today. Very thankful that none of us had to see Gloss this morning. That shirt would have been off during the warm up.

Chatter was minimal – it was almost as if everyone was saving their energy for the last CMIYC lap. Those were brutal. Forearms were gassed which hasn’t happened to YHC since high school :-/

You know what? This is all I got. I’m tired and this is work for me. My creative juices only flow once per week, not twice in 4 days. Ask my …nevermind.

Sunshine is 18. Dude doesn’t cheat on a rep. Haven’t had a chance to talk to him much but I can get that changed soon enough. Cheating on reps that is……

Didn’t hear Puddin flatulate once today. Not enough stomachè called I guess. Thank the Lord

I called the mountain climber the running man. Blame the lack of booze.

FNG gave us more ammo than anyone I can remember in 6 years. He also exclaimed, “Should’ve know better than to come and work out with a bunch of white boys”. We named him Ziggy. Terrible. Where is TR during times like these? Wtf man. Horsehead texted later in the day saying he liked Black & Mild. Way better than Ziggy. What say you?

Check somebody else’s B.B. for announcements. Can’t believe I did this much. #overachiever

15 gentlemen and 2 ass clowns attended #F3Hydra this morning. It was mentioned several times by many that they were expecting a sh*t show of a Q. Well to their surprise, I wasn’t nearly as hungover as expected so they all had to #EAD and we were off.

The Thing

Mosey around school all the way back to the football field.

Quick warm up with SSH and IW.

Soul Crush Ladder to 11 – Jump Squats on one end, Dry Dogs on the other. 10 merkins at 50 yard line each time on the way down. Felt a bit aggressive right out the gate but Kirk was there so I was trying to impress.

The Balloon Knot –

Station A – 10 pull ups

Station B – 20 dips

Station C – 30 LBC’s

Station D – 40 squats

Home Base – 5 burpees

Mosey across the street, past 2 cops, to the church of the Ozarks. Partner up. Partner A runs while Partner B does name exercise with rocks. Did a little this and that.

Back to AO. 1 round of sprints. Finished with a bit of stowmache and wide arm merkins.

Moleskine

Being the unselfish gentleman that I am, I offered to subst-Q for somebody this week. I mean it was 46 degrees with no rain so those are conditions that allow this machine of a body to run Q successfully. Good group of guys but none better than the 2 ass clowns, SG and Gummy. Those guys truly care. Yesterday about 2:30 as I was lamenting my lack of birdies on Quail (ho hum) and drowning myself in several coors lights at Zee Lodge, I got an encouraging call from SG letting me know he was HC. Gummy, when finding out I was keeping the Lodge in business during early afternoons on quite the daily basis, texted me to make sure I knew I had the Q today. What would I do without these guys. #Caring. Then they proceeded to show up and b*tch the entire time. Pretty sure they held hands or maybe even went trunk to tail during the Soul Crusher. It was cute. Gloss claims he didn’t do merkins on his knees but we all know what the knee condom is for. I can’t forget to mention Jet Fuel as well. He too is a kind gentlemen who texted me to remind me of Q. He also tried to HC Bounce today but to no avail. Heard Bounce had quite the night at Swinging Richards so he wasn’t physically able to participate. Queen, Kirk, Egypt and One Eye possibly led the pack during SC. Couldn’t really tell from 12th position though. Burpees were called and even completed by YHC much to Kirk’s surprise. Last item of business pertains to Gloss because it’s just too fun – he always to tries to get all witty with his Orange Theory comments when I Q now and I find it quite hilarious. Is it more queer that I go to OT occasionally or that your wife makes you go see a personal trainer, that is a DUDE, who works out of his garage? You get one on one time with a dude practicing kegels and hot yoga while I just might get lucky enough to get to jog a few miles at OT next to some 30-40 something housewife of Mecklenburg County that just might be trying to smuggle jellybeans into the workout. You make the call. Tiattts.

Announcements

See Gloss Twitter feed to donate to Jennings in his battle with Leukemia.

20 showed to The Maul. I’d say it was safe to say nobody knew what to expect, besides Haze, who commented that my “Q” would be a disaster on The Twitter. The best part was my #nonQ this morning kicked him in the throat. He will admit it. Disaster this…..

That Thing We Did

The Murderhorn Challenge – #TMC, #TMHC, #EADPH

Run around the theatre to the top of MH. Do 10 merkins. Run down MH and do 10 squats at the base. Repeat until 6:10 err 6:05.

Back to camp for some Mary led by only those names I absolutely knew, so 5 of the 20.

Last minute of burpees – yes I did a few. Good to see so many refusnik. Love that trend.

Done.

Results aka HOW MANY TIMES YOU WENT UP MURDERHORN in 35ish MINUTES

Mic Check – Unknown

Hops – 8

No show – 8

Tag-a-long – 8

Teddy – 9

Commish – 5

MT – 8

Squid – 8

Loogie – 5

Kirby – 5

Carmen San Diego – 7

Morning Wood – 8

Speed Bag – 6

Patent Pending – 5

Shrink Wrap –

Private Benjamin – 7

Snowflake – 8

Purple Haze – 9

Huggie Bear – 7

Spackler – 8

Moleskine

If you know me then you’ve come to realize the most of my Q’s involve very little Q and a lot of cardio. Why? Possibly bc I’ve seen too many Q’s go horribly wrong with too much instruction. You know how to limit the chatter? Run em. Shut em up. Said it last week and I will say it again, if you don’t at least get 3 miles in a bootcamp then it is a waste of time. My personal opinion. If you disagree, WHO CARES #ThanksRadar

Congrats to Purple Haze for winning this years edition of #TMC with 9 total times up. Well, he technically tied with Teddy but he indeed did beat Teddy. That was shocking. Pick it up Teddy. I would have lost a mortgage on that bet #embarrassing. Gotta give PH credit though, those little midget legs were cooking. Of course it helps that they are basically only carrying his 14 lb beard. As I said, don’t shave that thing man or you will look like Tom Hanks in Philadelphia. This is where Haze is reading this stroking his beard, shaking his head and thinking why am I even friends with Spackler? I’m just jealous. I can’t grow a beard.

YHC did take a barb from MT about not finishing at the top of Murderhorn or something to that effect. Brushed it off as friendly Gamecock fire.

Good to see the other 4 folks I knew and a few of you other gentlemen that I recognized from years past but didn’t say anything simply bc that gets awkward. You know it. I know it.

8 guys showed up at Death Valley. I remember when this number used to be 28. 8 is much easier to contain. It was fun. Glorious. Absolutely Fantastic.

The Thing

Pseudo disclaimer was said. We went off campus to Spackhizzle’s Knoll. We ran up and down it a few times. Lots of merkins. Some Mary now and again. Maybe a squat or two. No monkey humpers. Back to the basics. 3.6 miles covered because we are men. Should always be at least 3 miles covered or it’s a waste. Except for F3Meatspank on Thursdays and some of those other 0.0’s. Those guys like steroids and small junk so who are we to judge?

The skin

I hate BB. Used to be fun. It’s not now.

I picked the partners today. It was exciting if not just downright freeing. You should try it. You are welcome

Smokey and Dollywood led the way all day as partners. Blah blah blah

Horsehead mumbled a few times. I made out “stupid”, “Princess Leia and her ankle chain” and something about F3 supposed to be getting easier when you’ve been a part of it for 6 years but it hasn’t. You clearly need the “Spackler’s guide to F3 – 2012-18 editions”. F3 is easy.

Puddin took us out in prayer and he is a good man for doing so. BTW, serious question….not a big fan of hugging all over you sweaty as* gents after a workout anymore – not that I was to begin with but – full hand clasp on sweaty shoulders for some of you – is that a thing? It’s flu season. Sickos.

Per the pre tweet – We ran 3+, we did merkins, we stayed off the grass (not the ganja) and we had some gentlemanly 2ndF.

Total of 8 pax.

Observations

Bounce said he would post. Got a text from him at 3am as he was making his own All Star breakfast at Waffle House saying he wasn’t going to make it. #HeIsGettingFat. http://people.com/food/south-carolina-man-hilariously-cooks-himself-breakfast-at-waffle-house-while-employee-sleeps/

Bananas HC’d yesterday. No show. He drinks too much #holidays

Buttermaker keeps saying he wants to make an F3 comeback. Today was a great opportunity. He evidently had some mayoral duties to take care of over at OT. #OhHiMike #HeIsTheOTMayor

Tiger Rag – Seriously how long does a broken pinky toe keep one on IR? IT HAS BEEN HALF A YEAR. He’s got to be pushing 240 by now. Everybody needs to start peppering him.

Semi Gloss broke, BROKE, his foot 2 months ago and was out this morning. Notwithstanding his constant whining, I am proud of him. #Gross

Otherwise, it was a very gentlemanly crew this morning. Not very easy to talk smack to the likes of Purple Haze, Marge, Queen, Lazy Boy, Hopper, Sleepy etc. It was a very clean workout, the exception being Gloss’ 2 inch inseam running shorts #DudeYourBallsAreShowing

Um, Spackler is on Q at Skunk? Wait, does he even do F3 anymore? Is OT closed? Is that refusnik even allowed to Q? Is this a joke?

22, including YHC, pondered many of those questions coming into this highly anticipated Q of the week.

After a quick prayer from Chin Music, the parade was off.

That thing

Partner up for CMIYC #LikeSizeBells should have been reinforced – Partner 1 – 10 merkins and catch Partner 2 who was running with both bells – once caught each do 10 swings and flapjack

Did the loop around the church to end at base of hill

Drop your partner for some solo Triple Dimeage – 10 swings at base, 10 wide arm merkins at top – 5 times total

Quick stomaaaaach.

Mosey to front (?) of church with partners again. Partner 1 runs around church while Partner 2 performs 3 exercizes. Flapjack. Exercises included 10 one handed swings, 10 snatch to press and 10 high pulls. We did that for awhile.

Mosey back to lot to end with some more stomaaaaach.

And….scene.

YOM

Always glad when you have an even number of PAX so it doesn’t screw up your plans. Not so glad when YHC gets un-lucky enough to partner up with Crotch Rocket and his 678lb Russian Skittle. Made the running awkward and I’ve already scheduled my next ‘massage’.

There were either lots of fast CMIYC’ers this morning or you took a page out of my Refusnik for Dummies prep book and failed to do all the swings. I’m going with the latter.

One of 4 reasons for all the running in this Meathead-esque #Sh*tshow today: 1. Nothing like seeing #PreRunners en route to the parade 2. Waking to a stiff barb tweetsie from High Tide 3. YHC doesn’t know half the KB exercises 4. ALL OF THE ABOVE

I didn’t forget about Baracas trying to insinuate (had to look that up) that YHC pulled his game plan from last weeks Skunk. I’m a veteran sir. When I flatulate I own it. I did not have flatulence this morning.

Only chatter heard had to do with #ACC fooseball which was quickly dismissed

Ok that’s enough. Forearms are tightening up.

Announcements

F3Golf.com – sign up ASAP – not sure if it is still open or not.

5K run on Nov 4th at Covenant Day supporting www.TEFcharlotte.org. Check the site for more info.

Southern Discomfort is this Saturday.

F3 Expansion is Yuge and getting Yuger expanding on 10/28/17 in both St Louis and Austin, TX, not Austin, Massachusetts on the same day. Emails are stlouis@f3nation.com and austin@f3nation.com. Tell a friend. Call them. Text them. Social Mediatize them. Just be cool. This is not a cult. Let Crotch Rocket know if you are ever interested in helping with the Expansion efforts. F3Bermuda and F3Kona volunteers are not needed at this time as I’ve already filled those requests.