I can’t even begin to tell you how many introverted women I know who read romance novels as a way of living out their fantasies vicariously, because they are just too shy to date. This may sound odd to you if you have an extroverted personality, but it really is a very serious and very widespread problem.

However, I am happy to report that there are now indeed some excellent resources available for introverted women that can help you to improve your situation and get you started dating hot and quality men for real! how does that sound? I have just become aware of these resources so I am unclear on exactly which one will be the best suited for your specific situation, but I have heard good things about both of them. The first is called The Spellbound Formula and it was created by a man with the unlike name of “Mehow”. Meow is more like it as this man is a real studly fellow. The second is a course entitled The Drama Method by a bloke named Aaron Fox. My only concern with this program is that it involves using “drama” to attract a man, which may seem a bit intimidating for those women with crippling social anxiety. That said I’m sure even painfully shy women should be able to get some helpful tips from this training.

And while we are on the subject of tips here are a few more dating tips that I have been meaning share with anybody who will listen:

1. Believe in yourself. Even if you haven’t had the most successful life thus far, and even if people used to bully you back in high school about the way you looked, always tell yourself that you are still beautiful and there people who love and care about you. Don’t think about what others think of you. Trust me, focus on the positive aspects of your personality and in time you will slowly develop that self-confidence.

2. Talk to more people before the actual date. Stop spending too much time alone in your room. Go out and talk to your friends. It will help you be comfortable communicating with people. Don’t be afraid to express your thoughts. Don’t think about rejections or criticisms.

3. List out some possible questions to ask during the date. If you are the type of person who often becomes speechless on a date, a list of questions prepared beforehand may help you organize your thoughts while talking to your date.

4. Don’t be afraid to speak up. The best way to counter your introvert personality is to become more sociable. Getting used to meeting and talking to people will make you discover more about yourself. It will help you become more interesting to the guys you come in contact with.

5. Always smile and maintain eye contact. When talking to your date, exude a positive aura and make him feel you are interested in what he says. Your smile can make that date remarkable for a guy so always talk in a vibrant way. And of course, don’t forget to thank him and tell him you appreciate all his efforts.

I get it, dating isn’t always easy for shy women. Maintaining a good conversation is such a big struggle especially if the guys you are dating seems to be another introverted creature himself. But hang in there and educate yourself using the resources I have mentioned and I assure you that you will see things turn around in your love life.

One of the best ways a person learn a lot about it falling in love, is through reading books about passionate love affairs. A more specific example would be a romance novel. In romance novels, one can put their self in the shoes of other people and understand their point of view, feel what they feel, and see what they see about the people they both intensely love and hate. A romance novel is its own adventure, filled with budding wisdom to offer people of all ages should they fall in love or not.

One dating lesson I learned from romance novels is that looks are not everything. In romance novel “Eleanor and Park” by Rainbow Rowell, Eleanor is ashamed of her red hair and chubby appearance, but her love interest Park never even for a moment sees any of those things about her physical appearance as flaws. He loves the way Eleanor looks as much as he loves her personality, and when Park starts wearing weird eye make up that most people think is weird, Eleanor actually likes it and supports it. Sure, looks do leave an impression, but they will probably never really form any real connections with people when it comes to forming relationships.

This leads to the second lesson of remembering that in dating, people are not perfect but that is probably what makes them more beautiful. A lot of John Green’s books have female lead characters that are strong, crazy, and broken – and the male protagonists love them for not only what makes them strong but also what makes them weak.

A third lesson is to not be afraid to be yourself. The books of Nicholas Sparks show that honesty is the best policy, and that the sweetest moments of love can really occur when you are both open to each other.