Bullied For Being Trans

by Kaname Kuran
(Walworth, WI)

This situation involved with me being in a religious school and being transgendered as well. I didn't like being in the school I was in since I didn't like the teachings, I personally believe that God is kind, a merciful sweet, indulgent man and loves everyone no matter what they did he'll still love them. Not the psychotic, racist, homophobic, transphobic, wrathful "god" that christians believe in.

Also for me being in that school was well very difficult, I am more than happy of being out of that religious school for good since it brought me nothing but misery. S

I was born a girl at first that discovered that I had a masculine side and wanted to change that even to change my gender. The first time I told my mother about my true gender Identity was when I was around 4 years old.

I know it sounds very crazy but this was the age I said to her. It was when we left the park, she was driving and I was in the back seat. I was busying looking out the window, till my mom asked me this;

'Did you had a good time at the park, Sakura?'

Sakura was my name before I became trans.

I looked at her then I said;

'You know I'm a boy, right mom?'

That took her off guard, she looked up to her mirror and gave me a look of almost shock and surprised, she looked over to me once we got home.

'You want to be a boy?'

I nodded to her. That began my transgender journey of wanting to be a boy, but their was one problem we had a very religious aunt, she would spew things out of hate, even to me at times since I think she knew i was different than normal girls. Also she was the one that placed me in the religious school in the first place...Without my parents knowing.

My journey of transforming myself from girl to boy, was when I was 12 years old. Started the hormone treatments, went for surgeries like Mastectomy to turn my breasts into a male's chest, but once we had gotten the surgery of transforming myself into a male we didn't do the female genitalia to male genitalia surgery since we decided that the surgery was too much. So i had to stick with my vagina, even the uterus within me.

This is when all the bullying happened, I came to school different wearing a male uniform than my female uniform. Everyone was staring at me, they were almost shocked to see someone different, but once they saw me going to my locker their faces turned into absolute disgust.

The kids were talking about me... Most out of pure hate. Since they BELIEVED in the "god" christians believed in.

They all said to me; 'Go to hell', 'God hates abominations!' 'Kill yourself!'

All of this made me broke down crying, I felt so alone in that school, I felt like no one wanted to be my friend since they didn't want to be around an abomination. Even the worst part of it was; the teachers nor counselor stopped the bullying since they didn't want to help an "abomination".

The desk I had was ruined as well it said what they all had said to me. I had to use it, the teachers didn't help me at all.

When I was in that school, I was sexually assaulted by one of the boys there.

It was in the showers when he assaulted me, I was in my daily bleeding like what girls get. I was washing myself off, till I felt hands on my shoulders, I found myself thrown on the floor. A kick to my gut, I was naked until I felt him on top of me he pinned my hands above my head. I was powerless against him, I tried everything to shake him off but nothing worked...

There I felt his fingers, fondling my vagina....It was so horrible, he continued to fondle down there. I was crying when it happened... I was so shaken.

He gave me a warning that If i told anyone; he would rape me and he would bring his friends too, even record it.

At home, I kept everything to myself until I burst out crying telling my mom everything that happened. She was shocked, gave me a hug and told me that she would take me out of that school even away from that teen that sexually assaulted me.

We decided not to tell our aunt about this problem or my transitioning from female to male.

After that I was scared to go to schools since I didn't want that to happen again.

My parents decided that it would be best for me to be homeschooled, since they didn't want to see me hurt anymore. I went to therapies, took medication for my depression, and now I'm full of relief.

Now i'm living a happy life, I have a boyfriend who accepts me for me, a sister and a brother.

Along with an advice to those who use religion and the bible as an excuse for your abusive behavior here is what I have to say:

Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. They believe in god. Good for them! But they shouldn't bash the bible into other people! Not everyone does so they don't have to follow it. Plus it says that wearing clothes with mixed materials is a sin, people ignore that. LGBT is a natural part of life so that means it's normal. Christians SHOULDN'T hate homosexuals. They should LOVE them unconditionally. Sure they might considered homosexuality is a sin but they should not SHOVE THEIR RELIGION down anyone's throat. They should still love them unconditionally.

The Bible DOES say that homosexuality deserves to be hated upon, but people do not.

And people are NOT their orientation nor their beliefs nor their interests. People are people; imperfect, flawed and beautiful, and that's what Christians need to learn and understand.

My advice for those who are being bullied by those who are religious and using them as the way to hurt you. Don't let them win, show them that you have power to ignore their hate, build yourself up to have a shield of hope around you, surround yourself in your thoughts, bounce their rudeness off of you.

If they continue ask them this:

Does god love you? Knowing that you are bullying me to take me down and using YOUR religion as a way to hurt me and others? What would god think of you?

I know that this advice sounds corny, I'm very bad at making advices so I'm REALLY sorry about that.

Anyway continuing on; make yourself stronger, stand up against bullying, tell yourself that you are a strong, independent person that doesn't need to listen to the bullies.