A blog from John Churchill

He’s just not that into you.

When I was in the U.S. Army, I had a boss once that attended the same church I did. Although, I couldn’t read his mind, his negative demeanor (similar to the picture to the left) while at church seemed to indicate that he really didn’t want to be there. He had recently remarried and his new wife was a very pleasant redhead who was a serious Christ-follower. I was a leader in that church. I always got the distinct feeling that my boss didn’t like that very much. His comments to me about anything that had to do with church were always harsh and antagonistic. He told me once that he attended the church to be with his wife.

When it came time for my evaluation, he was not quite as positive as my previous bosses had been. I was always a hard charger and took the initiative in my work. I accomplished the goals set for my work and did them well. In this case it didn’t matter. This guy just didn’t like me. He just wasn’t that into me. Many years later, I still think it’s because of my faith. I believe I got to experience first hand a mild form of what Jesus said, Matthew 24:9b (NLT) You will be hated all over the world because you are my followers.

There are times in life when people just won’t like you. There are a myriad of reasons why people just won’t like you. So, what do you do when someone doesn’t like you?

Love them anyway. Jesus said, “Love your enemy.” Respond in love to them even when they don’t reciprocate or are actually hateful toward you. Go out of your way to help them. The Bible says that will enfuritate them. Especially go out of your way to help them when you’re in a place where you have to work with someone as a superior or as part of your team. Do your part to go over and above the call of duty. Others will see you’re trying. The aggressor will be the one to look bad. Truth will win out. Oh, in a blinding flash of the obvious, if it is your boss, it won’t help to get in a power struggle with him/her. Let it go.

Work to make sure that their criticisms are truly unfounded.

If the criticisms are founded, maybe you need to use this relationship as a catalyst to change where you need to change.

Lastly, Suck it up and drive on. Accept it. They’re just not that into you. Your self worth is not based on whether they like you or not. Your self worth should be based on knowing that God loves you very much.

You’re not going to win every popularity contest. That’s ok. Please the One that matters most.

Can you think of any other good responses when you’re faced with someone who just doesn’t like you?