Your Blogging Staff

Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.

Yes, I can see that giant meningitis-carrying snails would be a great educational experience, but when I was a kid...my teacher gave us a handful of mercury to roll around in our hands. And even this was a poor second to being able to go down to the shoe store and put your foot into an unregulated, unsupervised X-Ray machine and wiggle your toes.

Yes, I can see that giant meningitis-carrying snails would be a great educational experience, but when I was a kid...my teacher gave us a handful of mercury to roll around in our hands. And even this was a poor second to being able to go down to the shoe store and put your foot into an unregulated, unsupervised X-Ray machine and wiggle your toes.

Why, when I was a boy we laughed at meningitis covered snails! We had no fear! I remember Tommy once brought a whole collection of venomous snakes to kindergarten! He didn't get in trouble, and the state didn't step in.

When I was growing up in the early 60's, a great afternoon of fun in the summer was waiting for the mosquito killer guy to drive his truck down the street. Once spotted, we would run as fast as we could to catch up to him so we could plunge into the white, billowing clouds of pure toxins he pumped out of the rear of the truck.

Had meningitis once when I was a kid. Almost died. They had to give me a spinal tap. Try inserting a 4" long hypodermic needle in to your vertebrae and see how much you like you wonderfully overgrown death snails of doom!