The Dog Evading Capture

The little boy I used to baby-sit spent all his time trying to surprise the dog.

He reasoned the dog could probably talk but didn't want to reveal this because then she would have to do chores, clean up after herself, etc. Several times a day he would unexpectedly barge into a room, hoping to catch the dog in mid-conversation. Or he'd silently sneak along the walls, trying to eavesdrop.

Just Trying To Help Out

I went to a Christian private school so in kindergarten, we were taught Bible stories all the time. There was one story about a woman who got stoned because she had children and wasn't married. Now, I recall my kindergarten teacher saying she had children, AND we referred to her as "Miss" so that meant she was unmarried.

Also, she had these bumps on her face (I know NOW that they were just warts), but at the time, I thought those were marks that she got from getting stoned.

I literally went up to her and told her she should get married or she'll be stoned. She told my parents -_-

Sibling Damage

When I was little my sister pushed me into the door frame and I cracked my head open. My parents couldn't see how bad the cut was because there was so much blood. I wouldn't let them wash it because I was afraid the water would get in and drown my brain. (Of course little me didn't tell them this reason).

The next day when the blood had all dried and they could actually see the damage it turns out I probably should have gotten stitches/staples.

Adulthood Means Never Having To Say You have Parents

I was doing work experience at a kindergarten and one of the kids asked me whether I had parents and I said yes. A little while later, she and another child were comparing heights and the following happened: