The results were the fucking same within a few $10K. I'm losing it, because if this works, I will have achieved my childhood dream.

I don't know what to do next, but I guess I'll allocate about $5K to this strategy in the new year and let it go. If it works successfully in month 1, I'll put in the full $50K towards the strategy. If I lose it all, ah well.

Well, it's just one guess - the curve is eerily smooth for anything that's not a proper high frequency strategy.

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Right. In previous incarnations it looked extremely uneven until a few hours ago where I doubled down on getting the right exit conditions. Everything else remained the same, but once I nailed the exit condition, it became what you see :-/

It is intraday, but not high-frequency. It's designed to be neutral to market direction.

I feel like the next steps are to print out all the trades and manually go over them using a third data provider to make sure everything is lining up and my backtests are executing correctly without lookahead bias. Thoughts?