The Critter Chronicles

Followers

Saturday, December 29, 2012

The other day, I asked my youngest brother why
he wore cologne… his response was “So mom won’t know if I showered or not”. In 2005 a fragrance, originally made for Marie
Antoinette, was reproduced in limited quantities which sold for $11,000 dollars
per bottle. The featured ingredient was ambergris, a waxy excretion found in
the intestine of this 67 foot long critter. While scientists aren’t sure which
end it comes out of, once it does, it’s considered ‘floating gold’. Ambergris
is used in perfumes to make the scent last longer.

You can thank this critter for that
sweet smelling Christian Dior perfume… the Sperm
Whale.

Considered
the largest predator on Earth, these critters can dive soooooo deep that some
have been found tangled up in the transatlantic phone cables, more than a mile
below the ocean’s surface. In the deepest and darkest parts of the ocean is
where their prey of choice can be found; the giant and colossal squid. Using
echolocation to locate prey, old time marines thought that the ‘clicking’ sound
they heard was someone hammering a nail into wood. Their repetitive
vocalization can be heard from 40 miles away; however, this is not what makes
them blog worthy. These critters have one of the strongest family bonds. Whale
pods consist mostly of generations of grandmothers, mothers and daughters. Females
give birth to one calf every 3-6 years and will raise their young for 13 years.
The pod is so closely knit that the calf will be left with the pod while the
mother dives for food. If the calf gets hungry during this time he will nurse
from another female within the group. If the mother were to die the pod would
then raise the orphaned calf. Using this knowledge to their advantage, whalers
knew that by harpooning the calf, all other whales in the group would come to
its rescue, making this their ideal scenario. Sperm whales were mainly hunted
for their ambergris and spermaceti (oil found in the whales head) which was
used for cosmetics, candles and machine oil during the 18th and 20th
century. It’s estimated that 800,000 whales were killed worldwide during this
time. In 1973, Sperm whales became protected under the Endangered Species Act
passed by Richard Nixon. They are currently considered vulnerable according to
the ICUN, while it’s unlikely that their numbers will return to that of
pre-whaling, one can only hope.

Friday, December 21, 2012

I had a special request from my biggest
fan to do the following critter, so in commemoration to him Frank a.k.a Bibi
a.k.a. Legalos I thought I would give him a small intro. After leaving Cuba with his high school sweetheart Legalos moved
to Venezuela where he raised 6 children.
A man who would more than happily give you 75 cents when all he has left is
a dollar, I can’t imagine a better person to not only call my biggest fan but my
grandfather as well. Love you bibi!

Outliving both the dinosaur
extinction and the ice age, 12/21/12 will be easy peasy for these guys… the Orinoco Crocodile.

This
heavy weight critter is amongst the largest of the crocodile species with males
getting anywhere from 13-16 feet in length and weighing in between 800-1400
lbs. The Orinoco crocodile is endemic to the Orinoco River which flows through
Venezuela and Columbia. Lacking sweat glands these guys can be found on the
river banks with their mouths wide open as a mechanism for cooling off.Soooo what qualifies the crocodile
species as the ultimate survivor… well for starters, they are extremely tough!
During territorial fights they are known to tear limbs off their opponents!
Unbelievably, those unfortunate one's with a missing arm or leg are capable of
living well into their 70’s. The crocodiles incredible immune system is to
thank for this! Scientists are actually looking into croc blood as a potential
HIV cure. Another ice agein our
future??? That’s not a problem for this critter they can adapt very well to
extreme temperature changes as well as starvation. There are numerous examples
of crocs not feeding for an entire year and while they get desperately thin
they are perfectly capable of bouncing back once food reappears. Surviving
Mother Nature’s disasters is one thing, surviving mankind is another. The
Orinoco crocodile is critically endangered due to over hunting during the
1940’s and 1960’s. Currently it’s thought that roughly over 500 exist in the
wild. Even with conservation efforts put forth by the Columbian government, the
comeback of this critter seems extremely grave. This guy may not be the cuddliest
of creatures but he is one of the toughest! and hey, everybody loves a tough
guy.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Days of
our lives is an
American soap opera that has aired on NBC almost every weekend for the past 47
years. While I personally have never
understood the whole soap opera phenomenon, it’s undeniable that millions of Americans
tune in each weekend to watch the trials and tribulations of their favorite TV
personalities. Living vicariously through these characters, what people may not
know is that we have our own REAL LIFE soap opera right in our back yard. Full
of excitement, danger and drama these critters deserve an Emmy nomination.

Before General Hospital and All My Children there was… the PACIFIC SALMON.

Carried away
tail-first downstream and dumped into the ocean… this is the beginning of the
salmons life. While some will stay within a few hundred miles of their
natal stream, others will travel 2,500 miles away roaming the Pacific Ocean. Alas,
this critter isn’t just an ordinary fish that lives and dies in the ocean… NOPE…these
guys are best known for having the most extreme migration in the animal kingdom.
They will spend the majority of their adolescent lives (which is anywhere from 6
months to 7 years depending on the species) exploring the vast open ocean, then
it’s back to their birth grounds where some salmon have been observed traveling
45 miles a day just to return to the
rivers mouth. This is where the REEL excitement begins! THE SALMON RUN: a desperate,
every fish for himself, race up stream against time. Once the battle begins
Salmon will not stop to eat instead they derive their energy from fat reserves,
they will travel on average 275 miles upriver
to reach their spawning grounds. Unfortunately, not all these persistent little
guys will make it out to the love fest; some will be eaten by bears that
patiently wait for them at the river’s edge, some will be caught by
fishermen and some will starve to death. By the time those lucky few make it
back home they are starved, exhausted, covered in scars and
ready to relax?!?! But, the salmon, with bruises, torn fins and hooked jaws,
will expend their last bit of energy in a mass spawn before they die. Females
will lay anywhere from 2,500 to 7,000 eggs in hopes that some will survive to
repeat this voyage. The salmon run, exemplifies one of the most beautiful and
dramatic life cycles that nature has created… and…they are on the brink of
extinction. Over harvesting, agricultural pollution, ocean warming, and habitat damage have all
contributed to the devastating blow in their numbers. Keep this daytime drama
airing and don’t let these guys get cancelled!

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

In today’s high tech society dating has become LAZYYYYY. What
happened to courtship and being wooed? Now it’s just profile views and
misconstrued text messages. GET IT TOGETHER BOYSSSS!!!!! Anything worth having
is worth working for! So… if after numerous attempts of trying to get her attention
(telling her about your Star Wars collection or inviting her over for a CPR
refresher course) have failed then the next best thing is to show her your
dancing skills.

Lace up your dancing shoes cause this guys going to teach you how to bust
a move… the BROLGA
CRANE.

Living in
the open swamp lands of Australia, this critter isn’t just long legged and
handsome. These monogamous birds are best known for having the most elaborate
courtship displays in the animal kingdom. At around 2-3 years of age, Brolga’s
begin searching for that lucky lady! Once
she’s spotted, males will lay down their most impressive dance moves, which
begin by the tossing of grass into the air. Head bobbing, flapping, prancing, jumping,
pirouetting, bowing and wing shaking are all part of this critters eye catching
routine. If she accepts, than each year
no matter how long they’ve been together they will dance with one another. Sounds like something out of The Notebook right? Although this performance is primarily a mating practice,
pairs will dance year around, scientists believe that this helps
strengthen the couples bond. While they are typically found in small family
groups of 3-4 which includes both parents and juvenile offspring, family groups
of up to 1000 will gather together during non- breeding seasons in order to feed.
So… how can we apply this to our dating
lives, just remember; couples that dance together STAY together.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

For
years sailors have told stories of vicious sea monsters big enough to swallow a
ship whole. Considered one of the “fathers of science fiction”, Jules Verne in
1870 wrote the novel Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea which took
the world by storm. This classic work of fiction narrates the story of Captain
Nemo and his submarine the Nautilus which is attacked by a giant squid...OBVIOUSLY this isn’t the entire story, just the most memorable part. His novel
began a genre revolution of adaptations and variations of his book made into
films, comic books and graphic novels…

Hold on to your undies because this guy isn’t just part of science
fiction… the Colossal Squid.

Thought once to have been stuff from
legends very little is known about this critter. Scientists believe
the colossal squid can weigh over 1,600 lbs and reach lengths of over 43 feet!?!
Bigger than a school bus, we might need something larger than a california king
bed to snuggle up with this guy. Living in deep (3,000-6,000 ft) and frigid
Antarctic waters, fragments of beaks, tentacles and partially digested bodies
found in the stomachs of sperm whales were the only proof of this elusive
creature. It wasn’t until 2007, when a fishing boat off the coast of New Zealand
accidentally caught one that scientists were finally able to put the pieces
together. Hauled on board by the fisherman and kept frozen until they reached
the Te Papa Museum in New Zealand, this was the first time that a live specimen
could be studied. And…what did they find??? Well, SHE weighed 1,000 pounds, had
a length of 33 feet, had eyes approximately 13 inches in diameter, had 26
swiveling hooks on the end of each tentacle and was ONLY a baby. Like tree
rings, squid contain an equilibrium organ which grooves as they age ... and she
was only 18 months old. Scientists also discovered that these gigantic creatures
have a slow metabolism signifying that they move slower than once thought.
Contrary to beliefs, this new found knowledge indicates that these guys are more
like floating blobs than monstrous beasts. So… while we are still in pursuit of
the Colossal Squid one thing is for certain; these guys would make some tire
sized calamari.

Discovery Channel created
a documentary of the squid that was caught off the coast of New Zealand it’s
called Colossal Squid/Squid invasion it’s
a 2 episode series … you can find it on Netflix’s… check it out!!!

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Being called wise is pretty much always associated with age… “Listen
to your elders, they're wise like an old owl.” Yessss, we’ve all heard this saying! However, the irony of it is that owls don’t live very long. With a
mean life period of 20 years, these guys only live a quarter of a human’s life
span. Sooo… after an hour of blankly staring off, a 30 minute nap and some extraneous
brain exercises, I came to the conclusion that there is another critter that
deserves the prestigious label of being “Wise”.

Grab your walkers because this critter is going to make your grandma look
like a spring chicken… the Galapagos Tortoise.

These charismatic critters are local residents of the
Galapagos. They are the largest land tortoise with some exceeding 5 feet in
length and over 550 lbs. Charles Darwin
was quoted saying "These animals grow to an
immense size ... several so large that it required six or eight men to lift
them from the ground". STOP and REWIND… DARWIN?!?!?! As in, evolution DARWIN???The answer is yes! This critter can live well
over 160 years in captivity.Currently
the oldest living tortoise is Jonathan who’s thought to be 178, this would have
made him a year old when Darwin was circumnavigating the globe in search of
evolutionary evidence. Leading an
uncomplicated and boring life, most of their day is wasted away grazing (they
eat between 70-80 lbs per day), sun tanning and sleeping (16 hours a day). With
a slow metabolism and large internal storage devices these critters can survive
a year without food and water. Stored on
board ships because of this unique survival ability (no maintenance and fresh
meat), the tortoise was a favored food source for sailors, pirates and whalers
during the 15-17 century. During these years it was estimated 200,000 tortoises
were killed. Considered Vulnerable according to the IUCN, successful breeding
programs have brought their numbers up to around 15,000 individuals. Remember,
common courtesy rule number 1: Respect
your ELDERS!!!!

Monday, October 8, 2012

In 1922, this critter became an iconic
figure for a household name. Appearing in the “northern lights” commercial this
guy turned into one of the most popular symbols of Coca-Cola advertising.
Sporadically seen in commercials and on bottles for the next 70 years, Coca-
Cola can thank there 67 billion dollar business to this celebrity.

Put on your parka and welcome… the Polar Bear.

Yes, we all know the
Polar bear, so it should be no surprise that at one point I would blog about
this sweet and loveable guy. Adapted to living in one of the most extreme
environments, this guy calls the Arctic Circle home, sweet home. The Polar Bear
is one of the largest land carnivores, weighing between 550-1700 lbs and a
height between 8-10 feet, this is one critter best loved from afar. With a
thick layer of fur and blubber allowing for insulation and buoyancy, scientist
once considered categorizing them as sea mammals. Sea mammals…like whales? You
may be thinking, that’s correct these excellent swimmers have been spotted in
open Arctic waters 200 miles away from land. Polar bears are so well padded and
insulated that to prevent overheating even in sub-zero temperatures, they tend
to walk slow and spend lots of time resting. One of their most humanistic
features is that these guys are known to throw temper tantrums. Researchers
have observed them throwing chunks of ice, kicking snow and growling in
disappointment after losing prey they’ve been trying to catch. Sound like
anyone you know? So where’s the problem you might be saying to yourself, there
are plenty of seals and they have no predators! What’s the big deal? THE ICE
CAPS PEOPLE!!!!!! The ice caps are melting, with the current crisis of global
warming the Polar bear's are in danger of becoming extinct. Already red listed
as an endangered species; As the ice caps melt Polar bears have to swim farther
and farther to find suitable habitat and prey.We may not be responsible for the things that have happened up to this day, but we are responsible for the things that will happen from here on out.

Blog Archive

About Me

Sooooo… what do you do when you don’t have a favorite animal? You start a blog and tell the world about each one of the magnificent creatures that share our home with us.
Hopefully, the critters I blog about will tickle your funny bone, melt your heart or astound you. I am currently a student and plan on one day being shoulder deep in an elephant’s uterus helping it give birth or cruising along side the very rare blanket octopus. I believe that education is the key to conservation and figured that if I can inspire just one person to care about something bigger than themselves, then I’m on the right track. This is how The Critter Chronicles began.