October 16, 2002

Let the Healing Begin

So much in a better mood, yes. effectively communicate, no. I had a mini tarot reading last night, and the summary was that there's an air of great heartbreak and loss around me. Not necessarily romantic, which I know it isn't, but more about my desires and goals. She said it could be my Saturn return as well, which would mean things that are typically sedimentary are now being stirred up. This should prove to be an interesting journey for me. Sorting out negative feelings that have nothing to do with romance is a first for me. It's refreshing really, to give myself this time to heal without the distraction of the dating dance. It's taken me a long time to become a clean slate in the boy department again, and the first time I didn't focus inward. It was my first year here in SF and I used all of my excess energy to party like a mad woman to mask any uneasy feelings I had about being alone. Winter is a time for introspection and I'm digging out my magnifying glass.

I suggested the title "the wheels on the bus go round and round" to exploding dog.

You know how you meet someone who you KNOW isn't good for you and yet you entertain the idea, creating solid explanations for those very bad qualities? After all, we don't want to be too hard on people right? But if you do go for it, then 2 months later when it's over, you site these very attributes as the factors for the relationship's demise!
I will NOT let lust prevail over reason. I will NOT let lust prevail over reason. I will NOT let lust prevail over reason. I will NOT let lust prevail over reason. I will NOT let lust prevail over reason.