today I went to build a bear!!!

Thursday, March 14, 2013

March 14, 2013,
March 13, 2009 I went into the hospital and found out that my unborn baby (13 weeks) did not have a heart beat. That day was hell in so many ways and I would not wish that on my worst enemy.
So today is March 13th and I wanted to make it as happy as possible. My day started off not so good...had to wake up early (I'm so not a morning person) then had to go to the doctors and this doctor was (how do I say this nicely) umm a bitch (yes that was nice). So when my 15 year old daughter came home I finished up my work and took her with me to build a bear and picked out a bear skin and filled it. I went through the whole thing they do with the kids too...picking out the heart...rubbing it to make it warm, placing it on my heart and making a wish and then kissing it and placing it into my bear!! And then I took my bear and hugged it to see if it was stuffed just right and then brought it over to the bath area and brushed and put it under the air to fluff it and then I went and named my bear. We had fun...we giggled all the way home.
So I decided each and every March 13th I am going to do something silly...publicly silly so others can giggle too. I'm thinking for next year we should find one of those pottery places and tell them that I want to make foot prints and then whip out my bear and print his feet. Maybe the next year we can go to one of those little cart things in the middle of the mall that draw people and have them draw my bear. I need to give myself laughs on this day so then I can let go and cry and get it out and then tomorrow I can laugh again.
Angel Jude I miss you and I love you. I wish…I so wish things were different…I wish you were here.