The 13th installment of NBC’s Broadway drama Smash seems to be unlucky for all in matters of the heart. In this week’s episode, entitled “Tech,” Bombshell heads to Boston for out-of-town tryouts, and it seems everyone is stepping out on their relationships: Derek (Jack Davenport) gets blinded by the glow of Rebecca (Uma Thurman), Dev (Raza Jaffrey) gets frisky with R.J. (Tala Ashe) and Ivy (Megan Hilty) figures if you can’t beat them, join them, even if that means taking shots with Dev. Cheers to that!

Best Reason to Quit a Musical: Joe DiMaggio may have been there to the very end for Marilyn Monroe but don’t expect art to imitate life on the set of Bombshell. When Ted (Broadway vet Tony Yazbeck), the actor playing Joe DiMaggio, gets offered a pilot, he hops a plane to Las Vegas, forcing Derek to consider re-hiring Michael Swift (Will Chase)—to the dismay of Michael's former love Julia (Debra Messing). Don’t worry Rebecca: What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but pilots are often cancelled before they hit prime time, so there’s a good chance this fella won’t stay away for long.

Strangest Gift to Give a Sick Person: When Dev fails to show up at work, his office pet R.J. shows up at his apartment with a bottle of bourbon and a smile. “I heard you were sick,” R.J. smirks. “You bring bourbon to sick people?” Dev wonders. “Oh, yeah, you’d be surprised how much better it makes you feel. Whatever it is that ails you.” But after a brief makeout session, there's not enough bourbon in the world to make Dev cheat on Karen. (And we’re guessing there’s not enough bourbon to make R.J. feel better about being the other woman.)

Oddest Response to a Marriage Proposal: After his brief indiscretion, Dev’s guilt drives him all the way to Boston, where he proposes to Karen. But he doesn’t exactly elicit the response he was hoping for. “I don't know what to say. I’m in tech,” Karen says nervously. “Is that the same thing as a yes?” Dev ponders. “It’s not a yes or a no. It’s a 'I’m in tech!'” she (understandably) yells. Sorry Dev, but if that response has you feeling ill, may we suggest a shot of bourbon?

Best Definition of Theater: When Tom (Christian Borle) questions Sam (Leslie Odom Jr.) about his work as a Broadway gypsy, twinkle toes does a full-on swan dive, defending his right to be a starving artist. “This is what theater is,” Sam exclaims. “It is joy one day, and it’s gone the next. It’s like a religion and I don’t apologize for wanting to be a part of that.” Amen, Sam—you are preaching to the choir!

Creepiest Come-On: It’s Derek’s birthday, and clearly the birthday boy has one thing on his mind. After Rebecca does her very best impression of Marilyn Monroe singing “Happy Birthday,” the director shows up to her dressing room and lays it on her as thick as buttercream icing. “I thought of something else about Marilyn,” he says. “She glowed in the light. Some photographer said it’s because she had lots of little hairs on her body but that’s not it. She was luminous like you.” If Rebecca goes for that line, we've got a case of Nair with her name on it.