When were you last in hospital..?

So the wife got rushed in to hospital last night and is awaiting tests now. Got me thinking I've not really had much hospital time, last time was February before last after I dislocated my shoulder at CyB (still bloomin hurts too) though I was only in overnight.

Broken collar bone, which severed the nerve to my arm leaving it almost completely paralized, followed by 2.5 years of regular visits to various hospitals. Not been back since Feb 2009, well not for myself anyway.

quite a lot last couple of years due to family tho, I wasn't being treated. A&E for badly sprained ankle 3/4yrs ago, quite a few more A&E before that, my one and only overnight was when I was sucker punched at school, knocked dizzy/senseless (not out), short term amnesia, woke up/came round in hospital.

Almost two years ago. The night before New Year's Eve, fettling a light mount for my son's bike. I remember thinking 'I should really clamp this down before cutting a notch in it with a pen knife', followed by 'nah, that's too much faff, I'll be allright'.

I spent all of New Years Eve daytime in hospital having a tendon in index finger stitched back together. Well, waiting for surgery most the day and then waiting to get my belongings back from a locker that no nurse could seem to find a key for.

I seem to remember having little/no painkillers other than the large amount of whisky that I celebrated the New Year with that evening.

Last Tuesday. Bi-monthly appointment with The Thought Police but that's boring stuff.
Actual one off incident/accident type thing? Early September. I was rammed into the side of a bus by a road raging Mondeo driver. Lots of bruises but no bones broken.

Four years ago in Basildon hospital for one night, having my thumb wired and pinned back onto my hand, the human excrement smeared up the wall and ants everywhere was shocking, filthy place it was, no wonder people were dropping dead in there

maybe 6-7 years ago, after a hot marin rough ride. my kidneys failed due to extreme dehydration. adrenaline injection and 24 hours on a drip fixed me. still don't really know why it happened but suspect i was probably ill in some way before the event. i don't bother with very long rides any more having decided its not really good for me.

Last time for my own welfare would have been about 8 years ago for broken elbow, worst bike injury, sustained on nice friendly tarmac cycling past the Lord Louis 'pub' near Newnham Park if you know it. (If you don't, don't bother).

I did get a ride in the St John Retromobile (actually rather ace) at an xc race in May when i messed up a cheeky line and binned it onto my rotator cuff, but I avoided a formal hospital in my treatment/recovery.

About 7 years ago to have an abscess removed from my lower back...the hole left was apparently the size of an apple and had to be packed every day for weeks. Never saw the hole but, after a quick Google image search, I'm glad I couldn't!

In April 2000 I spent 4 weeks in the hospital with a comminuted fracture of the left distal tibia - yep, 25 fractures in a piece of my tibia about 1" long, just above the ankle. And I broke my fibula too, but apparently that doesn't matter so it was ignored.

4 operations and 1 Ilizarov device fitting later I finally escaped once I'd proved I could walk up a flight of stairs on crutches. Just the act of swinging your legs over the side of the bed after nearly 4 weeks supine was an effort.

5 months later and I was back on two feet without the scaffolding attached.

3 weeks ago after doing something to my ankle. Practically crawled into the loacl Walk in centre where the nurse took one look at my ankle and told be to 'go to A&E now' as she was pretty sure that I'd cracked something.

Once at A&E, they took one look at my ankle and said go home - couple of days to a couple of weeks to heal.

June last year, stabbed myself in the forearm with a bread knife with two pointy tips. Had to wrench it back out of the bone that it was stuck in so I could drive to hospital as it caught on the handbrake while changing gear.