I understand what you are saying, I just have a different objective in life. I have no need for a career. I actually took a huge step down to take the job I have now because all I care about is making an extra buck until I find something else to do. I hate working in a typical job because it makes me feel like I am wasting my time when I could be doing something more important. So to 'financially prepare' myself would be a silly endeavor since I hold no value for those things anyway. If Mr Ditch leaves me I will pack up the girls and go home and start all over again. When you don't have much, you don't have much to lose. And that is a freeing thought.

I understand what you are saying, I just have a different objective in life. I have no need for a career. I actually took a huge step down to take the job I have now because all I care about is making an extra buck until I find something else to do. I hate working in a typical job because it makes me feel like I am wasting my time when I could be doing something more important. So to 'financially prepare' myself would be a silly endeavor since I hold no value for those things anyway. If Mr Ditch leaves me I will pack up the girls and go home and start all over again. When you don't have much, you don't have much to lose. And that is a freeing thought.

"Checking with dh" does not mean that I am asking permission to spend money. I meant that I don't have to check to make sure the the money is there if I decide to make a purchase, I don't have to think twice about what my dh bought that day, week, month...you get it. Guess I could have clarified that. In yourquestion to me it seems like it was interpreted like I think someone who shares accounts with their dh have to ask to spend money. Sorry about that. My intentions were solely based on my marraige and perspecive.

Do you tell him where you are going when you leave the house? Do you feel that you are asking permission or is it just out of respect?

I think this question is stemming from the miscommunciation about the "checking with dh" comment. I really don't think it needs a definitive answer.

"Checking with dh" does not mean that I am asking permission to spend money. I meant that I don't have to check to make sure the the money is there if I decide to make a purchase, I don't have to think twice about what my dh bought that day, week, month...you get it. Guess I could have clarified that. In yourquestion to me it seems like it was interpreted like I think someone who shares accounts with their dh have to ask to spend money. Sorry about that. My intentions were solely based on my marraige and perspecive.

Do you tell him where you are going when you leave the house? Do you feel that you are asking permission or is it just out of respect?

I think this question is stemming from the miscommunciation about the "checking with dh" comment. I really don't think it needs a definitive answer.

We have been sharing a life for 20 plus years which includes owning homes, Vehicles, retirement accts, and bank accts. If your husband walks away from your marriage, like 50 percent of all married couples, he can ruin you financially and vice versa. People change when they divorce. What was once love can turn to bitter hatred in a moment. I trust my SO completely but I am not so dumb that I don't think that he or I could change and that I don't need to protect myself whether there is a legal binding agreement or not. A marriage will ensure a 50/50 split of assets and bills, but it doesn't ensure that your husband won't empty the bank accts and make you spend excess legal fees to get your 50 back. I have a friend who lost her house, ruined her credit and is on the verge of a breakdown for that exact scenario. She could have planned better, but she trusted him. He took the money, stopped paying the car payment and mortgage, all because she asked for a divorce.

We have been sharing a life for 20 plus years which includes owning homes, Vehicles, retirement accts, and bank accts. If your husband walks away from your marriage, like 50 percent of all married couples, he can ruin you financially and vice versa. People change when they divorce. What was once love can turn to bitter hatred in a moment. I trust my SO completely but I am not so dumb that I don't think that he or I could change and that I don't need to protect myself whether there is a legal binding agreement or not. A marriage will ensure a 50/50 split of assets and bills, but it doesn't ensure that your husband won't empty the bank accts and make you spend excess legal fees to get your 50 back. I have a friend who lost her house, ruined her credit and is on the verge of a breakdown for that exact scenario. She could have planned better, but she trusted him. He took the money, stopped paying the car payment and mortgage, all because she asked for a divorce.

We have all joint accounts. When we married we agreed to a joint life which includes everything, including the money. I didn't go into this marriage thinking to would end in divorce so I'm not planning for divorce. In our house the "D" word as we call it is a swear word and completely off limits. We both agree that we signe up for a lifetime and we won't walk out on our vows. I love my husband and this is the right choice for us. Absolutel honesty, absolute trust, and a forever commitment; including our money. You can call naive or stupid and that's fine. I believe in our marriage

We have all joint accounts. When we married we agreed to a joint life which includes everything, including the money. I didn't go into this marriage thinking to would end in divorce so I'm not planning for divorce. In our house the "D" word as we call it is a swear word and completely off limits. We both agree that we signe up for a lifetime and we won't walk out on our vows. I love my husband and this is the right choice for us. Absolutel honesty, absolute trust, and a forever commitment; including our money. You can call naive or stupid and that's fine. I believe in our marriage

They have a whole host of other issues (and just brought a child into the mix). I've seen separate accounts work, but theirs is one example of when it creates hostility. (And makes their friends really uncomfortable.)

They have a whole host of other issues (and just brought a child into the mix). I've seen separate accounts work, but theirs is one example of when it creates hostility. (And makes their friends really uncomfortable.)

Nope. We both are happy with the way it is. I like what a PP said. "If it ain't broke don't fix it"

We are both very finacially responsible. We both make sure we do our parts. If I am low and need money, I ask and he gives me some and vice versa.

I really don't see any reason to combine at the moment when it is working for us. We never argue about money. I am sure if one of us had an issue with blowing funds on things other than the bills, the issue would need to be revisited, but as of now there is no problems.

If we did ever decide to combine, we would always keep our own savings accounts. That way when we buy each other gifts the other person has no clue ;-)

Nope. We both are happy with the way it is. I like what a PP said. "If it ain't broke don't fix it"

We are both very finacially responsible. We both make sure we do our parts. If I am low and need money, I ask and he gives me some and vice versa.

I really don't see any reason to combine at the moment when it is working for us. We never argue about money. I am sure if one of us had an issue with blowing funds on things other than the bills, the issue would need to be revisited, but as of now there is no problems.

If we did ever decide to combine, we would always keep our own savings accounts. That way when we buy each other gifts the other person has no clue ;-)

I never realized how close our thoughts were on this subject! I believe that on others, we are polar opposites. I have never liked working a regular job and get so much more satisfaction, watching my DD say "thank you" to the person holding the door for her, than listening to someone complain about their own problem. (I use to work in customer service)

I started a new business making baby shoes, but that's because my LO's feet are so incredibly small, that she can't wear anything. So I don't really care if I make a bunch of money from it, although I won't complain if I do. I think it's so much better to do what you love without the worry of being "financially secure" and I bet there are many people who "thought" they were and now aren't with the current economy.

I never realized how close our thoughts were on this subject! I believe that on others, we are polar opposites. I have never liked working a regular job and get so much more satisfaction, watching my DD say "thank you" to the person holding the door for her, than listening to someone complain about their own problem. (I use to work in customer service)

I started a new business making baby shoes, but that's because my LO's feet are so incredibly small, that she can't wear anything. So I don't really care if I make a bunch of money from it, although I won't complain if I do. I think it's so much better to do what you love without the worry of being "financially secure" and I bet there are many people who "thought" they were and now aren't with the current economy.

All our accounts are joint, including credit cards. We both work & make a similar salary. I don't know how we'd handle it if one of us was SAH, or madeÂ significantlyÂ more money, etc. I suspect we'd do the same as we do now, though. It's "our" life together and "our" money, and that works for us.Â

All our accounts are joint, including credit cards. We both work & make a similar salary. I don't know how we'd handle it if one of us was SAH, or madeÂ significantlyÂ more money, etc. I suspect we'd do the same as we do now, though. It's "our" life together and "our" money, and that works for us.Â

I am working on that. Lol. I am very independent and it is really hard for me to give up my career. I am scared to death which is why I am looking for the right part time gig which will keep me as independent as possible. He will take over all of the bills but I will still pay for my cell phone, loan and car insurance. The rest, will be money I put away for our retirement. I need to be a contributor and don't think I could feel good about myself to completely rely on him. Not saying it is wrong, just that I couldn't do it.

I am working on that. Lol. I am very independent and it is really hard for me to give up my career. I am scared to death which is why I am looking for the right part time gig which will keep me as independent as possible. He will take over all of the bills but I will still pay for my cell phone, loan and car insurance. The rest, will be money I put away for our retirement. I need to be a contributor and don't think I could feel good about myself to completely rely on him. Not saying it is wrong, just that I couldn't do it.

I am sorry for your friend and I hope she is able to get back no her feet and heal emotionally.

I am not an attorney, but if I were to ask my DH for a divorce I would have records of all of our earnings, bank accounts, how much he makes, etc. to have proof of income and assets. I probably would have taken over bills too, after one month of them not being paid, or notified them of the pending divorce, to see if there would be a way to protect myself.

I have no doubt, about how people can get with divorce. My parents were completely volatile and childish. If I were to ask, I would want to be prepared. I just don't see the need while you are in the relationship that is going great. It's just my opinion.

I am sorry for your friend and I hope she is able to get back no her feet and heal emotionally.

I am not an attorney, but if I were to ask my DH for a divorce I would have records of all of our earnings, bank accounts, how much he makes, etc. to have proof of income and assets. I probably would have taken over bills too, after one month of them not being paid, or notified them of the pending divorce, to see if there would be a way to protect myself.

I have no doubt, about how people can get with divorce. My parents were completely volatile and childish. If I were to ask, I would want to be prepared. I just don't see the need while you are in the relationship that is going great. It's just my opinion.

haha. The "D" word is not allowed in our house either! We don't ever bring it up or throw it around casually. I have seen people do that, and IMO, when you bring it up, your are saying you want it, no matter how much you say you don't. The seed of doubt has been planted.

haha. The "D" word is not allowed in our house either! We don't ever bring it up or throw it around casually. I have seen people do that, and IMO, when you bring it up, your are saying you want it, no matter how much you say you don't. The seed of doubt has been planted.

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