Should I? Or Shouldn't I? Another Child. So Congused...

Brittany - posted on 09/06/2010
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So, I already have three children. Patrick who is 6, Stacy who is 4 ( my only daughter ) and Bo David who is three. Today my little girl asked for a sister, this is not the first time she has asked. My husband is trying to get a new job, and if he does we will have enough money to add one more to the family. Thing is I don't know if I want to or not. On one hand I do, I really do, I love babies and have always wanted four children, and I would love for the chance for my Daughter to possible have a sister. On the other hand all my kids sleep threw the night and are out of dippers. I don't know what to do. I'm going go ahead and give up smoking ( AGAIN , LoL ), I'm going to start eating healthier and taking vitamins just in case. But I don't know what I should do. Should I have another one or not. I'm 50/ 50 on this and really confused. PLEASE HELP=-)

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Angie - posted on 09/10/2010

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It's totally something you have to decide with your husband. No one else should be a part of that very private descion. Stopping smoking is wise for several reasons; it's unhealthy for you and your children deserve to have a mother until they are adults, it's unhealthy for your children who deserve to be healthy, it's expensive - if you have enough money to smoke I don't see why you wouldn't have enough money for another child.

Give up smoking because you want to enjoy the kids you have and second hand smoke is very bad for your kids. Don't have a child because your daughter asked for one! Enjoy the kids you have and babysit to satisfy that baby urge - nothing like a few dirty diapers as a reminder to the amount of work babies are!

Well, if you decide on another one. On the up side, you will only have one in diapers. I have had two in diapers for all 5 of mine for some of the time. Mine are all boys. You would need to let your daughter know that it might not be a girl if you go for it. Since my 4th pregnancy my boys have wanted a girl. No such luck. I don't think you would necessarily need a bigger vehicle like some one else said about themselves. We did after our 3rd, but they all needed to be in some sort of car seat. You sound like your ready to just see what happens. Goodluck!!

My husband and i have three kids, 5, 4, and almost 2. We both want soo much to have baby four, my only boy is the eldest and he is asking for another brother to "do boy stuff with" The biggest drama we are having is there is not enough room in our house for another baby, so that means moving and buying a new car to fit them all in, which right now we cannot afford. I guess the only thing you can do is listen to your heart, but also concider your head. Our plan is to wait until the end of next year, then, my number two will be at school as well. It will also give is the time to get ourselves organised. Babies are a miracle we get to experience every day and each moment with them is precious (they dont stay babies for long enough!!!) There is no right or wrong time to have a baby. You do it when and if you are ready!

Oh poor you. Wot a dilema you have. At the end of the day, it is you who has to carry the baby for 9mon ths, you who suffers all the aches/pain that go with it and if you are not 100% about doing it again then dont. It's not fair on you or the child to be. You say your daughter wants a sister, well it could easily be a boy which I'm sure you have considered. I often wonder whether to have another child and like you, consider the fact my two are settled in school, sleep well at night and are very content happy boys. I then think NAH!!! They would love a new brother or sister but I have the added pressure of financial reasons So i think that helps me to conclude NO. Whatever you decide to do, Make sure it's the right decision for YOU. Good luck and dont sweat about it. Sometimes nature just takes the decision out of your hands anyway. What will be will be. xxxx

I am right in your shoes with you on this one!I have two kids so far, and on one hand would like another for the soft feel of a baby in my arms, another child to love, you know, the normal reasons. But yes, on the other hand, mine are 7 and 3 and have gained many independences of their own now. Well, here's what I think...It's only a short while that they are so young and need you for everything. Only a short while until they sleep through the night. Time periods that can seem to be an agonizing part of them growing up now and then are short lived. NO ONE enjoys getting up several times a night! EVERYONE jumps for joy when they don't have to buy diapers anymore! You've got time to make up your mind. There's no race to keep your kids spaced a certain amount of years apart. If you decide you want another, it's all up to you, so don't rush the decision. In the end, I'm sure you'll make the right one : )