Monday, December 10, 2012

Sham-Wow!

In case you were wondering, prophecy
smells like pomade and homophobia.

Hey, the Mormon Church has put up a whole website addressing how Mormons should stop being dicks to gays and lesbians! Wow, it seems like only yesterday they were sticking their face up in California's Prop 8 bullshit like it was Joseph Smith's hat and here they are magnanimously reaching out to gay people with compassion and understanding. Thus dawns a new day for LGBT Mormons and...

...uh, wait, no, gayness is still a sin and Mormon God makes gay people just so he can mess with them. I suppose it's a step up from 'get out of our giant Mormon Castle you godless sodomite,' but still...

Meanwhile, at the hall of Justice...

"Hear that Nicole? I'm freeeee!"

-Steve

Yeah, the website is probably a well-intentioned attempt to reach out to gay people and that's cool I guess, but I still think they're kind of missing the point. Check out this quote:

"Members of the Church who have same-sex attractions, but don't act on them, can continue to enjoy full fellowship in the Church...Unlike in times past, the Church does not necessarily advise those with same-sex attraction to marry those of the opposite sex. Same-sex attraction itself is not a sin, but yielding to it is."

-Statement from The Church of Latter Day Saints,

relaxing its previous pro-sham marriage position

Ok, so what they're saying is that being gay and a Mormon is fine as long as you don't do any of the icky gay stuff like finding companionship and living a healthy and full life. Look, I don't want to tell people how to run their crazy space church,* but that's not really outreach so much as it is grudging acquiescence.

"Hey have you heard? We're no longer anti-gay!We just think gays should lead lonely, sexless lives."

-Mormons

*in fairness I believe all religions, my own included, are just a little crazy and probably from space. I didn't want you to think I was singling anyone out.