Actually you know what? I can tell you what does. As a dopey kid who (regretfully) wasted a lot of time watching Marc Summers urge on kids to wade through fake ear wax or pick apart giant Blue Plate Special waffles looking for a tiny flag, I can tell you a few things this montage is sorely lacking. For starters, how does it include a mention of Skechers and not BK Knights? Where is the ubiquitous Casio keyboard? Where’s the fabulous trip to the wonderful Mount Airy Lodge? (Okay, maybe I’m mixing that up with Classic Concentration and perhaps the lines between 80s and 90s nostalgia is blurred here. Look, it’s late Friday afternoon in June.)

Admittedly, I’ve put far too much thought into this post — about as much thought as I used to trying to devise the perfect Obstacle Course run. Who knew one of my favorite childhood shows was nothing more than 22 minutes of product placement. At least Transformers and G.I. Joe were pure, right?