``Small Soldiers'' is a family picture on the outside, and a
mean, violent action picture on the inside. Since most of the
violence happens to toys, I guess we're supposed to give it a
pass, but I dunno: The toys are presented as individuals who can
think for themselves, and there are believable heroes and
villains among them. For smaller children, this could be a
terrifying experience.

It's rated PG-13, but if the characters were human the movie
would be a hard ``R,'' just for the scene where characters get
run over and chewed up by a lawn mower. I was a little amazed,
indeed, by the whole concluding sequence, in which fireballs are
lobbed, toy helicopters attack, and there's a struggle high in
the air between killer toys and the movie's young hero, who are
trying to electrocute one another. This is not a sequence a lot
of grade schoolers are ready for.

The movie's premise is intriguing. A toy company is purchased
by a defense manufacturer, and the tough-skinned new owner (Denis
Leary) orders his people to make ``Toys that actually do what
they do in the commercials.'' Toys with batteries that don't run
down, and with minds of their own. His designers take him at his
word, and develop lines of toys using the company's X-1000
computer chip, which is also the brains of smart bombs and other
military technology.

When these toys get into the marketplace, it's war. The toy
characters are divided into two camps, the peaceful and zany
Gorgonites and the professional killers of the Commando Elite.
The problem is with the commandos, who are humorless martinets
who strut through the movie looking like mercenaries and making
threats like pro wrestlers. They are truly evil, and they throw
off the movie's moral balance.

A lot of the other stuff in the movie is funny and
entertaining, and, to be fair, all of the special effects are top
drawer, seamlessly combining live action, models and animation. (Industrial
Light and Magic supplied some of them, and the figures were
designed by Stan Winston.)

The Gorgonites are led by a pensive, thoughtful Yoda figure
named Archer (voice of Frank Langella). They include little guys
who kind of grow on you, including Ocula, who is basically an
eyeball with three limbs. The Commando Elite have names like Chip
Hazard and Butch Meathook. One of the inside jokes is that many
of their voices were supplied by veterans of ``The Dirty Dozen,''
while the Gorgonites are voiced by actors from ``This Is Spinal
Tap.''

The movie's human hero is Alan (Gregory Smith), a kid who
inadvertently sets off the toy wars. His new girlfriend is
Christy (Kirsten Dunst), who gets a shock when she sees Barbie-type
dolls being fitted with X-1000 chips so that they can join the
battle, too. Among the adults are Alan's parents, who are taken
out of action after the commandos use a mousetrap as a catapult
to drop sleeping pills into the their drinks.

Part of the inspiration for ``Small Soldiers'' may have come
from ``Toy Story,'' where toy soldiers were among the characters.
But too much of it may have come from Sid, the human kid in that
movie who lived next door, and entertained himself by taking his
toys apart and reassembling them in grotesque ways. In ``Small
Soldiers,'' toys have unspeakable things happen to them, and many
of them end up looking like horror props. Chip Hazard meets an
especially gruesome end.

What bothered me most about ``Small Soldiers'' is that it didn't
tell me where to stand--what attitude to adopt. In movies for
adults, I like that quality. But here is a movie being sold to
kids, with a lot of toy tie-ins and ads on the children's TV
channels. Below a certain age, they like to know what they can
count on. When Barbie clones are being sliced and diced by a lawn
mower, are they going to understand the satirical purpose?

Roy Rogers died the other day, and that reminded me of how
gentle and innocent his movies were. Sure, we called them ``shoot-em-ups,''
but Roy spent more time singing than shooting. Kids didn't leave
the theater in a state of shock. Now they go to a kiddie movie,
and there are scenes where toy characters are disemboweled and
vivisected, and body parts crawl around in the street, separated
from one another. Then there are other scenes that are perfectly
innocent. We get two movies for the price of one. The nice movie
would have been enough.