LHASA – A teenage computer enthusiast, Takoda Passang, who lives on Gurla Mandhata with his family, has made a startling discovery that has the world’s astronomy experts all agog. The 15-year-old high-school student has linked the 1979 failure of the Bolivian coffee crop to a particular nasty bit of turbulence in Jupiter’s Great Red Spot almost forty years ago.

On Earth, Coffee plants generally grow in what has been termed the bean belt, a relatively narrow region on the globe between the Tropics of Cancer and Capricorn.

After the flyby of Jupiter by the Voyager 1 spacecraft in 1979, the first detailed images transmitted to Earth from 9.2 million kilometres above the huge gas planet, showed the Great Red Spot to closely resemble a giant coffee bean.

Tibet, sometimes called “Earth’s roof” happens to be perfectly aligned at an angle of 22° with the persistent high pressure anticyclonic storm on Jupiter that is thought to have existed for 350 years.

The images from Voyager 1 show that the equators of Earth and Jupiter were in perfect alignment during the 1979 coffee-growing season.

Theories in the scientific community differ as how a Tibetan high-school student might have solved a complex mystery that has puzzled agricultural researchers around the world for more than thirty years. That is: Why did the coffee crop in Bolivia uniformly fail to mature in 1979, coincident with the Voyager 1 flyby of Jupiter?

But Takoda Passang believes that it was simply a matter of his being in the right place at the right time and being able to draw on the awesome power of current technology.

“It was simple, really,” he said modestly. “I was able to retroactively sense a subtle change in the high pressure zone of the big red area south of Jupiter’s equator with an app on my smartphone. Anyone could have done it.” Source:FNT Staff

Share this:

Like this:

Related

Published by FauxNews Today

What you will find here is the “news” that you might read if you suddenly found yourself in a parallel universe. It’s 100% baloney that might pass for news, if taken at face value. But that would be a big mistake. Don’t say we didn’t warn you. The Editors
View all posts by FauxNews Today

DISCLAIMER

Welcome, one and all readers. If you’ve landed here maybe you are doing some due diligence and cross checking on a media item that is supposedly news. If that’s the case, our apologies. You won’t find any genuine news here. That’s because bona fide news, the true gen, is in short supply these days, anywhere you look. What is on offer here are the absolute best (we claim modestly) examples of “news” that never happened. We give you the “news” that you might read if you suddenly found yourself in a parallel universe that’s a kinder and gentler place, with less red tape. It’s 100% phony baloney that might pass for news, if taken at face value. But that would be a big mistake. Don’t say we didn’t warn you. (signed) Robin (Puck) Goodfellowfor:The Editors

P.S. Ok, further clarification for legalists. FauxNews Today® satirizes the mainstream news and other societal absurdities, period. All the articles and most names on this site are fictitious, regardless of whether they might sometimes seem similar to real people and events.

Occasionally, a public figure or a real entity may be mentioned by name however the details of the article are pure invention. Otherwise, in every case, any resemblance to actual persons, places or events is entirely coincidental.

We do our very best to provide credit and attribution when photos or art are used, based on the information available to us. This does not mean that the respective creators or authors endorse FauxNews Today®, or our use of the original photo or art. (signed) Puck