Reclaiming Abused Pastors

Soon after I was born, my parents took me to their church in Inglewood, California, and dedicated me to the Lord. The pastor who presided over my dedication was a man with a large forehead and a contagious grin. As a kid, I could never understand him when he preached, but for some reason, I liked him. He seemed … well, jolly.

When our family moved to Anaheim (I was only four), my father pastored several churches, eventually planting a church in Garden Grove. After he died, I eventually became a youth pastor at a second church – also in Garden Grove – but my first pastor, the one who dedicated me as a child, was called to still another church in Garden Grove, just a couple miles from our home. (No, none of these churches was The Crystal Cathedral!) My wife Kim and I attended that church during my first year of seminary and I later became that church’s youth pastor. I peformed my first wedding and baptism in that church, and I was ordained to the ministry there a few months after graduating from seminary.

One night, a man I knew approached me in the church parking lot after a service and told me that a group in the church was unhappy with the pastor. When I asked him how large the group was, he told me that his group consisted of ten percent of the church. As I probed further, the issue seemed to be that the pastor didn’t work hard enough for this group and they were going to make some demands until he complied with their wishes. Many of the members of that group were retired and were constantly snooping around the church looking for any problems they could find with the ministry.

Although I had never before attended a meeting of the governing board, I asked the chairman if I could come to the next meeting, and he permitted me to do just that. I told the board that there was a group of dissidents in the church that were threatening the pastor and that they had begun to make his life a living hell. (The pastor’s wife had already received a nasty anonymous phone call.) The pastor himself told me that the attacks on him were becoming so vicious that he couldn’t focus to study for sermons. I asked the board to do something to protect their pastor from this abuse. They voted 5-2 to do something, but they never did anything about the problem. In fact, the pastor himself cast one of the two votes not to take any action against his opponents. Why not? Well, years before, in that same church where I was dedicated, the associate pastor had led a rebellion against the pastor and the ensuing conflict was so painful that it altered the pastor’s personality, rendering him almost paralyzed to deal with personal attacks.

After the pastor retired a few years later, he refused to ever do any pastoral work again – no funerals, no weddings, nothing. The conflicts he had experienced had taken their toll on his body, mind, and heart. And he was such a tender man, the only man I’ve ever called “Pastor.” (He is now resting in the arms of Jesus.)

There are thousands of pastors just like the one who dedicated me as a child. They are committed to Christ. They use their gifts to touch the lives of others. They really care about people. They want to build Christ’s kingdom. But sometime during that pastor’s tenure, a group inside the church opposes his/her ministry and abuses the pastor – and sometimes his family – continually. Such pastors are often so worn down by the opposition that they resign from ministry and never lead a congregation again. They are kicked to the curb, their experience and gifts going forever unused.

That’s why my wife Kim and I are launching a new ministry called Restoring Kingdom Builders. We have experienced opposition from antagonists firsthand and know exactly how it feels. We want to provide emergency treatment for pastors and their spouses who go through such tough times through retreats, counseling, consulting, and writing. We don’t want such pastors to end up bitter and useless to Christ’s kingdom. We want to love them and direct them toward healing and wholeness.

Look for the official launch of our new ministry in early 2011! I’ll be revealing more details over the next few weeks. Please pray that we will honor the Lord in all we do. Thanks for reading!