all about me, my boys and my adventures in Canada

Something strange was happening in the kingdom. Ever since good Prince Jasper started going to pre-school in the mornings time was being oddly distorted. Of course, dear readers, we have all been taught that an hour is made up of sixty minutes, always the same, never changing since the dawn of time. But in the kingdom the hour between six and seven pm, just before bedtime, seemed to stretch on for days. It had become known as the witching hour, a time when a terrible curse descended on the small princes which made them act like over-excited hyenas running, shouting, howling and fighting. The King and Queen had become used this phenomenon but now the exact opposite was happening to the hour between 7.30 and 8.30 am, which zipped past quicker than a blink of an eye.

Every morning, no sooner had the Queen dressed one of the Princes the other had stripped off again refusing to wear anything but his favourite robes which were currently in the royal washing machine having been covered in pasta sauce the day before. Prince Jasper then decided that he could not possibly survive the rigors of a grueling morning at pre-school without a full three course breakfast. He sat eating leisurely whilst the Queen hovered close by brandishing his toothbrush like a sword ready to poke it into his royal cake-hole at the first possible opportunity. Just as the beautiful, albeit rather harassed, Queen thought they were ready to leave she found her two heirs huddled around the ‘throne’ discussing what had been produced when Prince Leo, as he said, had ‘been sick out of his bottom’ following a mild stomach ache. And sure enough, every morning, in what felt like ten minutes, the whole hour had disappeared and they were late again.

The kingdom lay in the foothills of great mountains and so was very hilly. Every morning the usually fragrant and delightful Queen would push Prince Leo strapped safely, though not necessarily happily, in his carriage up the steep hill outside the castle. Prince Jasper would hop on and off the ‘carriage-board’ at the back stopping to check if every single stone they passed was a dinosaur egg and to pick up leaves and sticks to add to the enviable collection that stood outside the castle door, surely the most comprehensive collection of its kind in all the land. Fortunately he always made sure he was standing on the board so that his darling mother had the daily treat of pushing both him and his brother up the steepest of the hills. Because of the bizarre time distortion situation she always had to run up the hills in a manner more befitting a champion fell runner than a Queen.

The young princes began to worry about this. Their beautiful and kind mother was changing, her face glowed red, she huffed and puffed through flared nostrils, a great heat emanated from her and what little make-up she had managed to slather on her face in the morning slid into her stinging red eyes as she looked forlornly at the Queens of other kingdoms whizzing past in 4×4 carriages, without a regal hair out of place.

The young Princes thought very hard about this and came to the only logical conclusion, their wonderful mother was turning into a dragon.

Their fears were confirmed when she picked up Prince Jasper after his lessons. The Queen had regained her composure, gave her beloved son the warm motherly hug that he had become used to and asked him what he had done that morning, hoping to hear intriguing tales of elaborate games and learning. Prince Jasper though very carefully and answered,

“I wiped my own bottom”

The Queen, trying desperately to remain positive and encouraging said “well done dear”, but didn’t quite manage to stop an odd little squeak emerging from her mouth. Prince Jasper was worried, it was happening again. What if the dragon took over and they never got their lovely mummy back? This called for desperate measures so the Princes decided (and this is the far fetched bit – brace yourselves) to work together as a team to stop the morning time slip and banish the curse of the dragon for ever. From that day forward they were always ready quickly and on time in the morning, with absolutely no distractions, not even when the felt absolutely compelled to have an impromptu wrestle. It worked, the curse was lifted. The princes found they had plenty of time to stop and look at interesting things on the pavement, climb and walk along garden walls, use fire hydrants as pretend telephones and skip with their lovely mummy to school happily ever after.

The End

p.s Unfortunately the curse of the evening witching hour remained forever.