Plus don't miss: Not Going Out and Masterchef

The Security Men, ITV1, 9pm

This one-off comedy written by Caroline Aherne and Jeff Pope (who also wrote The Fattest Man In Britain together) was filmed way back in 2011.

But, although anything that bears Aherne’s name is usually worth seeking out, this isn’t going to set the world alight.

In fact, one of the main reasons for tuning in is to see Brendan O’Carroll in uniform instead of the Mrs Brown drag that has made him a superstar.

The show also stars Peter Wight, Dean Andrews and Bobby Ball as his fellow security guards in a Salford shopping mall.

Gentle, old-fashioned and predictable, Take Me Out

presenter Paddy McGuinness

also pops up as a copper after the slack security men have to cope with an actual robbery.

Not Going Out, BBC1, 9.30pm

The best image in tonight’s instalment is of Lee Mack hanging upside-down from a pair of skis.

This is another episode that asks itself “What’s the smallest space we could use for an entire 30 minutes?” before deciding to go with a cable car.

Lee, Lucy and Daisy go skiing and if you think their clothes look like they were found in the back room of a 1970s thrift shop, the set-up is even more old fashioned.

The cable car gets stuck (their fault, naturally) and there’s an angry, heavily pregnant eastern European woman on board (Pooky Quesnel) who’s about to go into labour. To add to the fun, Lucy has both her arms in plaster casts, which makes you wonder how she applied her eye make-up.

The one-liners ricochet around that cable car at such a rate that you’ll probably forgive the predictability of their plight.

BBC

Gregg Wallace and John Torode "For me, there wasn't enough butter"

Masterchef, BBC1, 8.30pm

It’s the last of the Friday night quarter finals ahead of next week’s knockout stage and the three former MasterChef champs coming back to judge the contestants’ efforts are Thomasina Miers, Mat Follas and Peter Bayless.

They know exactly what it’s like to be on the other side of those revolving doors. So when one of them says “This dish feels rushed” they should know that’s because the poor contestants will have had John and Gregg standing over their shoulder bellowing “Three minutes, you’ve got to hurry” and “Come on” every few seconds.

With five main courses to sample, we hope they’ve brought their appetites. Duck breast, sea bass and curry are on the menu tonight, but which one will taste like licking the inside of a tin and which one will make John feel like a cartoon character caught inside a pinball machine? In a good way, apparently.