Holiday Funk

By Brian Ledford

December 29, 2013

I hope all had a very good Christmas and are enjoying some time with family and friends this holiday season. I apologize for being so absent for the past few weeks, but with everything going on I just have not had time to sit down and write or have not felt up to it.

For me the holiday season is always a little depressing, I am not sure why but I always sink into a deep funk this time of year. New Years is always the hardest, I see everyone getting kissed at midnight and year after year after year I am the one standing alone in the middle of a mob of happy couples sharing an intimate embrace. I stand out like the lone leaf on a tree in the dead of winter still holding on tight.

I hold on tight to the hope that one day I will find that special someone who I can finally share a kiss with on New Years, to the hope that there is love somewhere out there for me, and to the belief that just because of HIV I am not destined to be alone forever. I know for a fact I am not the only one who feels like this, especially around the holidays.

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Ok enough with the sad shit. I am over it.

With the new year quickly approaching, I have decided that I am going to make 2014 different. I want to get involved with more outreach and try to make a bigger impact in the HIV community, both in reducing the number of new infections and erasing stigmas. I really want to spend some time focusing on my local area. I do not see much work being done in the community here in North Carolina, and especially here in Charlotte, and that is just not acceptable. I would also love to get my site and story out and try to reach as many people as I can. I think it is very important that we all share our stories with the younger generations so that maybe they will not make the same mistakes we have.

I really have some huge ideas and I know I am not going to be able to pull them off alone. As the saying goes "It takes a village to raise a child." Well the HIV community is that "village" and we must all work together to raise/educate the next generation and keep them safe.

With that being said I am going to wrap this us for now. I hope all have a safe and fun New Years. Please be safe, and I don't mean just in the bedroom.

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This is my story of how I found out I was HIV-positive while still on Active Duty in the United States Marine Corps and how I have tried to put the pieces of my life back together through the good times and the bad. I am currently a full time student working on a degree in Information Security Technology, which seems to be taking forever. I want to help make a difference and erase HIV related Stigma in the South, where due to lack of education people still do not know that much about HIV. If my story reaches out and helps at least one person, then I have made a difference.

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