Wednesday, December 5, 2007

The Eternal Pessimist

Every morning when I log into IM, Shawn and I inevitably have a conversation regarding relationships. Sometimes he tells me about some sexploit of his. Sometimes I start off with how "I'm so over men". But it always ends with a polite disagreement on whether or not I'm being pessimistic toward the idea of finding love or being a realist. I think I'm a realist. Ever since Chris burned me, and I read He's just not that into you, I view dating very differently. As a result I view men differently. I realize now its all a huge game, and the first one that buckles wins. Men love to hunt women and I think in the past, I've ruined the chase by showing them I care too early in the game.

Everytime I meet someone new I want to size them up to see if they are the "one". I know I should just go with the flow but I don't feel like I'm a good dater. I feel like I'm more of a relationship girl. So, I decided to take Shawn's advice and take up e-dating again. I decided to go with Match.com this time because E-harmony is lame. I think I'm doing it more to get used to the idea of dating and apply all the new things I've learned since reading HJNTITY. I also think e-dating does widen the net a bit more. I go out, but I know men find me intimidating, not because I'm so beautiful (I am an attractive girl, not a model by any means), but because I appear confident and a girl who knows what she wants. Which means that there are only two types of guys who hit on me: The super confident guys and the guys who don't have anything to lose. The latter types are the ones I've been with the most. I'm viewing this as a healthy start. I don't expect to find anyone of exceptional value during this match.com experiment, I'm more worried about seeing my co-workers on there and how embarassing thats going to be.

4 comments:

sf
said...

thank you for taking my advice. again. thats how i look at e-dating: a chemistry experiment. the worst thing that can happen is, i meet the person and waste 30 minutes of my life that i will never get back. the best thing, i made a new friend. either way, ive learned something new about someone. most importantly, ive learned something new about myself and what i want/dont want.

i also have 3 words for you: eat, pray, love.

seriously, reading this book is like a transformation. i really do believe that it will change your life. go to a bookstore this weekend and read the first chapter. if you hate it, i will surrender. but i know that you will love it. every word speaks to me.

and thanks for changing the title of my blog on your page. my dreams are not broken. not yet at least. and neither are yours. our lives have just begun. we are Fabulous.

and ps: this is my favorite blog ever. and not just because i am referenced, but because i finally see a glimpse of hope that you are open to reflecting on your attitude toward love/life. this is a big step and i believe that is a positive one. congratulations.

oh come on, you know its your favorite because you were referenced. anyhow, i think what you say is true. i want to laugh, i want to talk, i want to be fucked so hard with a 7 inch or larger cock. i want so much from one guy and he needs to be smart, and think out of the box as well. i think me seeing the varietals of different men out there will help me to better define what im looking for. and better yet, help me define what i am looking for.

I second Eat, Pray, Love -- seriously, that "He's just not into you" is one side, read the other -- the one that leaves you with hope that romance & love. Oh my god, I sound completely sappy & am starting to make myself nauseous, but you know what I mean. Five years ago, at age 28, I thought I'd never find true love. But I was looking for a humongously-muscled, tattooed, pierced, motorcycle-driving, construction-working, trash-talking shithead. Hahaha -- sad, but true.