Do Indian Girls Have An Attitude Problem?

You just can’t understand this without understanding what typical Indian girls go through every day. And I am talking about those girls who are some or the other way getting harrassed by a bunch of perverts every day.

Note: Before writing this, I wanna make one thing clear that I’m not going to underestimate the feelings of any girl, that she is a Bechaari-types, can’t-do-anything, good for nothing or something like that. In fact, this is my attempt to enlighten something from experiences which I have felt so far in my own life.

Internation Women’s Day is celebrated on March 8 every year. It is a general celebration where we all respect, love, and appreciate our mom, sister, wife, or maybe the girlfriend for their presence in our lives and making us to what we are today.

But the question arises here is do we really care about our women as much we try to pretend on this day? Not really. We believe it or not, Indian society has been following the same patriarchy where the male is the one who always dominates(most of the times) I would not say it is good or bad because everyone has its own way of seeing things. But I want to quote an example of its impact.

So let’s take an example of a typical Indian girl to see if she really has an attitude problem.

Who is a typical Indian girl?

A typical Indian girl would start from home to go to school/college/work and experiences eve teasing almost every day by goons or few of other guys or people around her. It either happens to herself or to some other friends.

Then she receives random calls/ SMSes or on WhatsApp/Facebook from strangers who want to be her Frndsssss. Accidental strangers try to feel them up in queues, trains, and buses etc. Whenever we open the newspaper and sees the news of the rape of a child who is hardly 5 years old, which seems to become very common.

Creepy ogled by people on the road whose sole motive in life is to see as many female boobs as possible by staring at them as if they have never seen any.

Then there are the kidnappings, threats to accept someone’s love, girls being burnt by acid (In recent years we have seen a lot of cases as such) etc. Some read about all this in the newspaper, some criticize the society while others face this every day. I have actually seen such cases and I am proud to say that I could be the help in that case. All in all, these fucked up guys want girls to have sex with them. That’s all their motive is to approach a girl.

Are some girls wrong in thinking boys just want to have sex?

I am a male so I would not support this for sure. No, not every boy who talks or has lunch/dinner with a girl has bad intentions for the girl, I obviously know that it isn’t the ‘Universal truth’, but when you see so many crimes happening to your section of the society, you are bound to think that way. And hence, a girl will think the same way for you. (Until you genuinely make her realize that you are not one of those perverts.)

I consider it too soft on their part that they even talk to us every day, even after seeing all these things happening around. Believe me, it’s a great thing. Though some girls do really have an attitude problem(They will pretend as if they are queen Elizabeth and undervalue other people, well I keep myself away from such people), most of the girls are just being protective and following what they have been taught since their childhood, “Don’t gel up with boys”.

When politicians, police, and society consider it their responsibility to be safe, and when a rape happens, the girl is the first person to be blamed, who wouldn’t wanna practice a little safety. Are they doing anything wrong?

Let’s take another example

You are a nice guy, a girl from your college starts talking to you. You fall in love with her. As they say, one-sided love, the girl doesn’t feel anything for you other than a good friend. She tells you NO. You get mad, you are the MAN, after all. Live in the patriarchy society. You start harassing her, stalking her everywhere, telling your guy friends about her, now they’ll join you too. After all, how can she say NO? She is supposed to say YES only, else it will kill your ego which you can’t risk. So now you’ll start sending her messages on WhatApp, Facebook, and Instagram, or you will threaten her by saying that you will tell her parents/brother/relatives that you had sex with several guys or in extreme case you may throw acid on her face, after all, she has said NO to you. NO?
But does this happen?

(Do read this blog post where I have talked about the Feudal Mindset of Indian Psych Male)

Rape or Escape? Well, she preferred death over rape.

I was reading a random news some time ago, and I was astonished to see where a woman jumps off building to escape rape

In order to save herself from being raped, a young woman had jumped from the second floor of a building in Kolkata. On Sunday, the 20-yr-old woman’s boyfriend and two of his friends alleged tried to rape her. The woman suffered a head injury but it’s deemed to be minor. The boyfriend and his accomplices have been arrested. The incident took place in Liluah, Kolkata in the evening. The report states that she had come to meet her boyfriend, but 2 of his friends were already present when she arrived. They gave her a spiked drink and disclosed that they wanted to have sex with her. They then threatened to kill🔪 her after she screamed. Immediately after that she ran to the roof and jumped off. Locals saw her and took her to the hospital while others caught and handed over the 3 attackers to the police.

Now, is there any wrong if a girl doesn’t talk to you in one go? (still, a lot of girls do if they are comfortable)

Is there anything wrong if she takes some safety precautions like talking to a minimum number of guys?

Give them a BREAK!

By talking about all this, I am not asking you to go change your behavior, I am not asking you to start beating up every fellow guy who misbehaves with a girl, I am not even asking you to be extra polite with girls just because they are of a different gender than you. Hell, No! It doesn’t matter if they are women, men, or transgender. All I am asking you to bring a change in your mindset about such things. Just give them a break.

This answer isn’t aimed at snobby girls or girls who think they are above the rest. This is aimed at girls who really haven’t interacted with boys that much since childhood, who may be from small villages or towns where interaction with boys has been frowned upon since ever.

Some Facebook Views

I have asked a question on Facebook that “Do Indian girls have an attitude problem?” and in return, I get a lot of answers. Out of all the answers, I would love to share a few views here which matches with the above article-

Actually, girls do not have an attitude problem…Girls are very friendly with whom they feel comfortable with, she even shares her secrets with boys most of the time. But she doesn’t talk to every random guy, so boys feel that she is carrying an attitude, which might be their views but she really doesn’t care about those people, because she knows very well that they don’t know her personally, her story, a few people are just judging her by her cover page. If they really want to know about her attitude ask from their closed ones, they will describe her book, her friendliness, her caring nature, her kindness, her flaws, they will describe her. But don’t ever say that girls have attitude problem. Yar come on …this is not an era where we can trust everyone, so how could we talk to everyone..??? Just think about that at least… if we talk to everyone, guys start thinking we are for time pass and if we do not talk to everyone, then we have an attitude problem…

–Prachi Sabharwal

Actually, men and women both do have attitude problem. Attitude has nothing to do with gender. It depends on with whom you are dealing. Men while talking to a few men, may show attitude, but with some men and women, they are cool. The Same case is with women. In India, women sometimes feel insecure at places, that time they show some attitude just to show herself a reserved person.

When I got recruited, I got a HOD. She was a woman. We just talked about work related things. Neither she nor did I open up. She thought I do have an attitude. I thought (not actually thought but felt a little) she does have an attitude problem. Then with time, we started talking as work took us close and we discovered that none of us had attitude problem but we just acted reserved personality. Now we are great friends. I call her most. And in return, she hits me on my biceps with love.

So, we have personality, not actually attitude. We either don’t feel comfortable with some people for the whole time or we feel comfortable just in first interaction.So, it is about comfort level. You give them comfort, and they love you, be they are men or women. Additionally, some people have reserved personality, they don’t interact much. That does not mean they have an attitude. They have this nature. They have this kind of personality.

-J Alchem | Author of A Road Not Traveled

Indian woman doesn’t have an attitude problem, Indian men are not able to read and understand the changing women. Why do men think if they like someone, she has to accept? Doesn’t she have her own say and choice? This new paradigm shift has started to bother the neo age men. Especially when the woman is superior in education, looks, earning capacity or post she holds, she will expect a man to compliment her and match her intellectual level.

-Lakshmi Prasad

Yes, she has an attitude problem ….but in a different way !….
Cause if she has a very good attitude, then she is termed as easy, friendly, too open and that becomes a problem for her!

And if she has a bad attitude, then she could be called a snob, a feminist or fake. So that’s also a problem.
So yes the problem is with the Attitude of the opposite person …creepy men drools around girls and hence they have to have this ‘Attitude problem’

-Kainaz Jussawalla

Yes, Girl has an attitude. It’s compulsory for single girls. Attitude is not a symbol of ego. Attitude is a symbol of self-respect. If she’s easily talking to every other guy that means she is available and slut. If she is not talking easily that means she has an attitude. For me attitude is compulsory. It makes you different but she should know how and where to show this.

-Tanvi Singh

So yeah, it can be concluded that one should respect the other person, be it a woman or man, and act wisely. And I guess, in India, women deserves more respect from us. From men.

Today, on this Women’s day I want to thank my Mum, the most wonderful lady who has taught me to respect women and to respect their feelings. Not just because of they are of different gender, but they too are human beings. Thanks so much Mum. And wish you and all the lovely women in the world, a happy women’s day.

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Published by: SumitOfficial

Sumit Yadav(25), popularly known as SumitOfficial, is a blogger from Mumbai who has been writing since 5 years, and has posted 600+ Blog Posts till now. He is an MBA and works in an Educational Industry in Mumbai as a Senior Career Consultant. His spare-time activities include creative things like -- Acting, Photographing, mimicking, singing. He has worked with Radios, appeared on National TV, interviewed authors, appeared on newspapers for multiple activities, and has written reviews for magazines. Also, he's been consistently writing offline in his journals for more than 875+ days now. He believes in Continuous Progression, and Exponential Growth.
View all posts by SumitOfficial

This is one of the most greatest blog i have ever read …!!!
You have described each and every point very efficiently, people have to change thier minds ..
Each n every point u have highlighted very well with all the possible good examples which are happening nowadays…
Salute to you sir…
And thankyou so very much ❤

Sumit, hi there! ❤
First, like all your posts, needless to say, this was good as well.
Second, I did not like the usage of the word 'typical' coz it has some negative connotations attached. "Common' perhaps would have been better.
Third, you (by which I do not mean YOU, Sumit Yadav per se but people in general) cannot ONLY talk about women when you talk about 'attitude problem' coz it's not a women only thing. It's something that men harbor as well, maybe more than women. If you look it from this perspective, I find this biased (although you know that I know you are not this type of a guy :* ). Men can be equally crappy 😛
Fourth, I hope this isn't taken in any wrong sense because.you know I love you. ❤

Okay, so typical represents the normal girl(not very trendy as we see in metros and other cities) who faces this kind of problems in her routine. And I have see this a lot of times hence I can say.

Of course, Ankita, men and women are equally crappy in such cases. I’m not taking anyone’s side. All I’m talking about those ratio of women (whom I’ve personally helped to get out of it) who have suffered or still suffering.

No at all, Ankita. I am elated to know your views. I love you too and happy Women’s Day. 😌❤

Main samajh gayi thi what u meant to say when you wrote typical. Just that, this particular word doesn’t ring right. Hence.
I know you are not taking sides. Just that you chose to talk about only women. That is what I was saying.
And thank you Sumit. 🙂

Really a good one Sumit. I agree with your question –
Do we really care about our women as much we try to pretend ?
and this is also true –
she even shares her secrets with boys most of the time whom feels comfortable with them.
Happy women day to you n specially to your mom!!!!

Well observed and very well written. Here I want to share my experience. I tried to understand girls. And I failed. Bcoz every girl is different. May be I met those girls who doesn’t care about feelings. But I also met those girls who are really nice and have good nature. At this point I should stop bcoz anything more than this would be called judging. 🙂
Women are special. And we are always incomplete without them.

Sometime a gal pretend that she is confident nd bold when she leave around that bull shit type people but no one know what actually she feels..
She actual feels insecure and terrified….
Some gal teach them lesson and other than hardly try to forget everthing because of dread of acid attack, rape, slander and get depressed till the end of life, one day she die with lots of pain which no one know then story again start with another women….

Wow this is a very relatable. I remember we discussed this earlier as well.. Having lived in India, like almost every Indian girl I have gone through eve teasing and molestation. When you are a child you don’t understand these things but once they start happening to you there is more understanding of this issue. First time when I was molested on the street near my home (if I remember correctly, @ the age of 11) I was almost frozen and could not run although I wanted to run away. My legs were shivering and all I did was screamed and cried so loudly that it was like a thunder.

After this incident, As you’ve mentioned “most of the girls are just being protective and following what they have been taught since their childhood, “Don’t gel up with boys” – Very true! (At the age of 11 ??!!)
My Amma is difficult sometimes. In fact she was angry at me after this incident. At that age, I had no clue of what so ever! She portrayed all men in the negative light! Instead of showing anger she could have thought me an important life lesson. (Can’t blame her though, At that point she was stressed when she need to warn me of danger). As time passed by, these things became more common. That doesn’t mean I don’t talk to guys. I am open to people whom I am more comfortable with. I don’t have an attitude, its my personality.

I think a lot of Indians incl.parents need to bear some sort of responsibility for rapes. Few parents in India raise up boys differently compared to girls. There are given extra attention, all at the expense of the young girl. The boys grow up feeling entitled, that they are better than women and women are just mere objects. Even when the parents die they give their land and possessions all to the son, while the girls are married off and in the “possession” of their new husband’s. So this comes to me as no surprise. This upbringing has led to many men in India being chauvinistic and misogynistic. By the time the boys grows up the men think they are unstoppable and they will get whatever they want. It is a sad state where women have to resort to defend themselves.. Parents must raise their kids correctly. Personally, I had to do “girl” things only. Be more shy, be more religious, don’t be loud, don’t go out at night, don’t wear that, don’t drink this, don’t question so much, don’t use your phone so much, and basically don’t do the things the boys in the family still get away with doing. Now, I am more self aware person. I am true to myself that I might force my parents to look at things differently. People are only rigid until they have exposure. 🙂 Everyone should be educated! We were raised all wrong. We never got the chance to get out of our parents’ shadows and to be independent. (This is endless rat-race Sumit! 😉 I am getting away from topic already, but thanks for the post) 🙂

Yes, every one has an attitude problem. It just depends on the person opposite to you whether she/he wants to see the positive or negative side.
👍👍👍
I really Appreciate your views Mr. Official😺😺
And yes, your Mumma looks so beautiful😘 There always exist great mothers and fathers behind every good decision and move!

I guess it’s so hard to believe such awful things like acid throwing, rape – just all of it. If everyone would just treat each other how they wished to be treated life would be so much better!! What an article though – wow! Your Mom must be very proud of you!

I absolutely had a great time reading something this important and beautiful. Hands down to your attempt. All of us have an attitude problem when situations demand that. I love how you’ve presented the need of the hour. Never let these words fall short! 😊

A very well written and researched piece, and one that leads to the right conclusion too, I must say. Neither girls nor boys have an attitude. Our behaviours and reactions to others are dependent on circumstances. A girl who meets a goonish looking guy on the road may seem to have an attitude issue. But when that same girl meets a nice, easy-going and decent boy, say at a gettogether, she might not seem to have an attitude issue. It all depends on circumstances. Great post Sumit!

Well I did.
You know, I am romanian and I have never been to India but have watched so many movies and documentaries about your country.
I like to think India is a good developed country with smart people.
It aches my heart to see that problems like these rise.
Maybe tomorrow will bring new people, better than the ones you wrote today 🙂

Well, you should never judge a country by what it used to be.. I agree my post described a part of the problem but surely it is not the entire problem.

Of course, it is a developing country with many achievements you may see every now and then. But again, if you see good and bad people are everywhere, the worst part is we actually can’t do about it. Be it you, I, or the government itself.

So it’s better to enjoy what’s already there. I wish you come to India once and see yourself the experiences that you’ll never forget.

First of all, Sumit I didn’t judged anything.
I have so many indian friends, I worked with indian people and none of them thought that I was thinking in a negative way about them or their country. I am not a rassist and will never be.
On contrary I said that India is a developed country which has smart people, you better read that again.
I said only that I feel sorry that these kind of people who harass girls exist even today.
And second I know that every country has it’s bad roots and they are everywhere, in any country, nobody is perfect and will never be.
I love India, like I love my own country; I always loved your movies, your people, your passion of life and the joy you embrace in every moment of life.
So the one who is being judgemental here, is only you, I only referred at the positive part.
I am sorry you think that way and will never bother you again with my comments or my thoughts.
Have a nice day, Sumit!

I’m sorry for how you felt but I didn’t meant to be in any way disrespectful, or mean.
Usually, I am the opposite, and I like to think that people like me for that, that I am honest and sincere.
I am not angry, I am just sad because you thought that way.