Definitions of 3 Types of Interpersonal Behavior

Aggressive Behavior:Aggressive behavior is that type of interpersonal behavior in which a person stands up for their own rights in such a way that the rights of others are also violated. Aggressive behavior humiliates, dominates, or puts the person down rather than simply expressing ones own emotions or thoughts. It is an attack on the person rather than on the persons behavior. Aggressive behavior is quite frequently a hostile over-reaction or outburst, which results from past pent-up anger.Non-Assertive Behavioron-Assertive behavior is that type of interpersonal behavior, which enables the persons rights to be violated by another. !his can occur in two ways" first, you fail to assert yourself when another person deliberately attempts to infringe upon your rights. #econd, the other person does not want to encroach upon your rights, but your failure to express your needs of feelings results in an inadvertent violation. A non-assertive person inhibits her$his honest, spontaneous reactions and typically feels hurt, anxious and sometimes angry as a result of being non-assertive in a situation. %ften, this person relives the situation in their minds pretending how they would do things differently if it happened again.Assertive Behavior:Assertive behavior is that type of interpersonal behavior in which a person stands up for their legitimate rights in such a way that the rights of others are not violated. It communicates respect for that persons behavior. Assertive behavior is an honest, direct and appropriate expression of ones feelings, beliefs, and opinions.A Comparison of the 3 Types of Interpersonal BehaviorNon-Assertive Assertive AggressiveCharacteristics of the Behavior&oes not express wants,ideas, and feelings or expresses them in self-deprecating ways.'xpresses wants, ideas, and feelings in direct and appropriate ways'xpresses wants, ideas and feelings at the expense of others.Your feelings when you act this wayAnxious, disappointed with yourself, %ften angry, and resentful(onfident, feel good about yourself at the time and later,#elf-righteous, superior.#ometimes embarrassedlater.!ther people"s feelingsa#out themselves when you act this way")uilty or superior. *espected, valued +umiliated, hurt.!ther people"s feelingsa#out you when you act this way:Irritation, pity, disgust. ,sually respect. Angry, vengeful.!utcome" &ont get what you want- anger builds up.%ften get what you want.%ften get what you want at the expense of others. %ften feel .ustified at /getting even.0$ayoff" Avoids unpleasant situation, avoids conflict, tension, confrontation1eels good, respected by others. Improved self-confidence and relationships.2ents anger feels superior.The Components of Assertive Behavior%ye contact: 3ooking directly at another person when you are speaking to them is one way of declaring that you re sincereabout what you are saying, and that it is directed to them.Bo&y $osture: the /weight0 of your messages to others can increase if you face the person, stand or sit appropriately close tothem, lean toward them, hold your head erect.'estures: A message accented with appropriate gestures takes on an added emphasis 4over-enthusiastic gesturing can bea distraction5.(acial 'ver see someone trying to express anger while smiling or laughing6 It .ust doesnt come across. 'ffective%)pressions: assertions require an expression that agrees with the message.*oice Tone+ A whispered monotone will seldom convince another person that you mean business, while a shouted epithet Inflection+ will bring their defenses into the path of communication. A level, well-modulated conversational statement is*olume: convincing without intimidating.Timing: #pontaneous expression will generally be your goal since hesitation may diminish the effect of an assertion. 7udgment is necessary, however, to select an appropriate occasion. 1or example, such as speaking to your boss in the privacy of the office, rather than in front of a group of subordinates, where the boss may need to respond defensively.Content: (ontent as a dimension of assertiveness is saved for last to emphasi8e that, although what we say is clearly important, it is often less important than most people generally believe. 1undamental honesty in interpersonal communication is encouraged. It is important to express your own feelings-and to accept responsibility for them. It is not necessary to put the other person down in order to express yourself, honestly and spontaneously, in a manner that is right for you. Assertive 9ill of *ights:. ;ou have the right to have feelings, and express these feelings in ways, which do not violate the dignity of other people.<. ;ou have the right to change your mind.=. ;ou have the right to make mistakes > and be responsible for them.?. ;ou have the right to express positive feelings towards others.@, ;ou have the right to be non-assertive in chose situations and to feel good about yourself.A, ;ou have the right to say /no0 without feeling guilty.B. ;ou have the right to be angry when you are mistreated.C. ;ou have the right to make your decisions and live your own life as you choose.D. ;ou have the right to ask for what you want.:E. ;ou have the right to set your own priorities.::. ;ou have the right to be listened to and to be taken seriously.:<. ;ou have the right to be treated with respect.