Podcast 37: Meet a Work Deadline, but Can’t Go Running on Your Own? You May be an Obliger.

Happier with Gretchen Rubin

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Update: Elizabeth and I reminisce about the trip we took together when I recorded aSuper Soul Sunday episode with Oprah! Yes, I'm going to be on Oprah's Super Soul Sunday on November 8, 7:00 pm EST/PT on the OWN channel (find your stationhere).Please watch. I’ll be live-tweeting while it airs.

Boy, Elizabeth and I had fun on that adventure. But I have to admit, I can hardly remember anything from the interview; it was such an out-of-body experience. So I'll be curious to see if I remember it, once I watch it.

Today is the third in the series of four episodes that we’re devoting to theFour Tendencies. In last week’s episode, we talked about the Upholder Tendency; this week, it’s Obliger.

Try This at Home: If you're an Obliger, or you're around an Obliger (which you surely are), help the Obliger to figure out a system of outer accountability so the Obliger can meet an inner expectation.

If you want to start a group for people who are holding each other accountable, get the starter kit here.

Strengths and Weaknesses of Obligers: How to identify and take advantage of the strengths, and counter-balance the weaknesses, of the Tendency.

Striking Pattern of Obligers: Obliger-rebellion. Obligers will meet, meet, meet, meet expectations -- and then suddenly, they snap, and refuse to meet an expectation. This can be a symbolic, small act, or a hugely explosive act.

Listener Question: "I'm an Obliger, and I find that disturbing. I should be my own priority. Is it possible to move from Obliger to Upholder?"

Gretchen’s Demerit: After years of feeling bad about the fact that I don't work very productively when I travel, I decided -- hey, no more demerits, I'm going to use that time to read for fun.

Elizabeth’s Gold Star: Adam suggested, "No more unkind voices."

Call for comments, questions, observations!

We’re spending four weeks talking about my Four Tendencies framework for human nature. One more week to go -- Rebels! We’ve already had many thought-provoking responses, but we want more.

More Episodes For You

Podcast 37: A close look at the Obliger Tendency. Are you like Elizabeth, and find it easy to meet outer expectations (a work deadline) but struggle to meet inner expectations (New Year's resolution)? Want to get in touch? @gretchenrubin; @elizabethcraft; [email protected]; happiercast.com/37; 774-277-9336.

Find out if you’re an Upholder, Obliger, Questioner, or a Rebel.

The Four Tendencies explain why we act and why we don’t act. Our Tendency shapes every aspect of our behavior, so understanding your Tendency lets us make better decisions, meet deadlines, suffer less stress and burnout, and engage more effectively.