Finding Peace in Your Grief

By: Erie County Cremation Service

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Even if you’ve never experienced a loss, you may have heard about the five stages of grief. This idea that people experience grief in stages was pioneered by psychologist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, who has written extensively on grief and dying.

She theorized that, when a person experiences loss, they’ll go through the following stages as they come to terms with what’s happened:

Anger: We’re mad. We might be mad at the universe, or feel anger toward those you love.

Bargaining: We feel guilt. Maybe if we did things differently, we could have spared our loved one. We feel upset with ourselves for saying—or not saying—things to our loved one. We’re trying to find meaning.

Depression: We’ve started living in the present again, aware that our loved one is gone. It’s saddening. We’re no longer angry or in denial, but haven’t quite made peace with our situation.

Acceptance: We acknowledge that things are never going to be the same, and that we’re not able to change the situation. We may not necessarily be completely ok, but we’ve accepted our new normal and are working to keep moving forward in our own lives.

What we know now is that not everyone experiences all of the stages of grief. Nor does it always happen in the order above. The truth is that everyone who experiences loss will experience grief, too, and it will feel different for each person.

How a Memorial Service or Memorial Gathering Can Help with the Grieving Process

It’s very hard to accept that your loss is real. Oftentimes, we speak with families about having some type of service in order to provide closure. Many who opt not to hold some sort of ceremony right away do come back months later looking to bring closure to family and friends.

We’re not psychologists, but we do hear from families who tell us that having a ceremony was greatly beneficial for the grieving process. Bringing together a group of people who share in their love of the deceased is a powerful and important way for everyone involved to talk about how they’re feeling, what makes them sad or angry, and how they’re handling the loss.

A ceremony can mark the beginning of the grieving process, helping nudge friends in family forward by providing a formal chance to say goodbye.

There’s No Right or Wrong Way to Grieve

Just as the lives we live are unique, our grief, too, is personal. Since everyone experiences grief in their own way, there’s no cookie-cutter way to guarantee that your process will follow a specific path. But, that doesn’t mean that it’s unimportant to move forward in your own grieving process.

Having a Memorial Gathering or Memorial Service can provide comfort, regardless of where you are in your own grief and emotions. These ceremonies are intended to benefit the survivors—those feeling left behind by their friend or loved one—so it’s important not to discount how important it is to give people you care about a chance to say farewell.

We have a lot of experience when it comes to personalized services, so we can help you plan something that’s dignified, honorable, and memorable to help you find peace with your loss. Our facility is purpose-built for having large gatherings, with ample parking and accessible access. Stop in for a coffee or give us a call to let us answer any questions you might have.