"It's the difference between the conspiracy they want you to believe and what actually happened." Those are the words that will start this story.

As you all may have found out, Aaron Rodgers had recently missed one of his team flights heading back from a preseason game. Long story short, he was using his GQC (greatest quarterback card), allotted by the league commissioner- Roger Goodell, to "hug" (what rhymes with hug me?) a plethora of incredibly hot chicks.

It may not look it, but this is where the truth regarding the awesome McDonald's Mighty Wings TRULY begins.
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After missing the team's departure, Aaron Rodgers was forced to book an early morning flight out of Kansas City. As he approached his seat, a 14a, he was met by two husky males decked out in Bears apparel...

They were returning from visiting the Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts (what?). But really, KC being the Barbecue City of America and these Chicagoans having a natural inclination towards big juicy meets topped with any tasty sauce (what?) the city and these Bears fans were a perfect vacation match...

Luckily for Rodgers, this was simply a connecting flight to Green Bay- heading towards Indianapolis, Indiana. After sitting in between those Bears hammering sausages down their throats for the entire flight... Rodgers was hungry.

Most people, would simply grab a bagel at the Airport Starbucks or something. But unbeknownst to most, Rodgers suffers from a Specific social phobia. Making him unable to eat in public places.

What Rodgers needed was some place he knew, that he felt comfortable eating in. A place where he could find plenty of space in the shadows to eat a delicious meal of his choosing. Being in Indy, he could only think of one place... Lucas Oil Stadium. Which leads us to the events being discussed- The Mighty Wings.
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From here, I think we all know the story of how those delicious Mighty Wings disappeared. But in case you have forgotten, need a reminder, or simply have somehow went through the past month without being privy to one of the greatest national scandals in human history... then click here.

Now, here is where the conspiracy begins and the truth ends. HERE is the truth that they want you to believe. That somehow a 90,000 year old Larry Bird dressed up in a mascot costume could steal the precious mighty wings, on foot, no less. They even have Bird ADMIT to it. Sure... And I'm really Michael Jordan.

The REAL truth however, is that after our story last saw Aaron Rodgers, he made his way over to the stadium. It was here where he first saw Flacco walking around with those delicious McDonald's Mighty Wings in tow. And it was here where he came up with the idea.

As one of the quickest starting QBs in the pocket that the NFL has at its disposal, Aaron Rodgers was easily able to shut off the power switch to the stadium's lights. Unbutton his shirt and use it to glide down a string of rope he had fastened to lead down to the field. He quickly locates the Mighty Wings via their smell (his hunger provided him Super Human smelling).

And then he deftly located a spot in the corner of the stadium to start chowing down on the grub, until...
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The stadium lights came back on.

So you're probably wondering. Why is this the first we've heard of this? Why would Bird come forward saying otherwise? What would be the reasons for covering up Rodger's involvement in this incident?

I'll tell you. No! I'll let Terrell Suggs tell you.

Goodell doesn't want the best QB in the league being known as a thief with a Specific Social Phoebia disorder... so he had the league payoff all the participants and had Bird take the fall (for a nice sum of course). Everyone was paid off in Mighty Wings and donation dollars coming from the "Fined Players fund".

With Monroe at LT and probably Jacoby back I think we look like a completely offense and have by far our best game. At home our awesome, badass front seven manhandles their OL. But it's Rodgers so they still put some points on the board.

With Monroe at LT and probably Jacoby back I think we look like a completely offense and have by far our best game. At home our awesome, badass front seven manhandles their OL. But it's Rodgers so they still put some points on the board.

Billy Bajema moving in motion presnap bamboozles the Packers defense AND offense into submission, Vonta Leach catches 7 touchdowns and Terrell Suggs sacks Rodgers 12 times because none of the Packers can take their eyes off Bajema, and the Ravens roll. And then Billy Bajema is cut on Monday._________________

Billy Bajema moving in motion presnap bamboozles the Packers defense AND offense into submission, Vonta Leach catches 7 touchdowns and Terrell Suggs sacks Rodgers 12 times because none of the Packers can take their eyes off Bajema, and the Ravens roll. And then Billy Bajema is cut on Monday.

With Monroe at LT and probably Jacoby back I think we look like a completely offense and have by far our best game. At home our awesome, badass front seven manhandles their OL. But it's Rodgers so they still put some points on the board.

Packers 20, Ravens 44

I assume you meant packers 20, ravens 14

Nope, he made two mistakes:

1) There's supposed to be a "-" sign in front of the 20
2) It's supposed to be 444, not 44.

Billy Bajema moving in motion presnap bamboozles the Packers defense AND offense into submission, Vonta Leach catches 7 touchdowns and Terrell Suggs sacks Rodgers 12 times because none of the Packers can take their eyes off Bajema, and the Ravens roll. And then Billy Bajema is cut on Monday.

I'm picking up Vonta Leach off the waiver wire and starting him at flex this week, and if he doesn't put up 40 points, it's on YOU BILLY BAJEMA!_________________

Billy Bajema moving in motion presnap bamboozles the Packers defense AND offense into submission, Vonta Leach catches 7 touchdowns and Terrell Suggs sacks Rodgers 12 times because none of the Packers can take their eyes off Bajema, and the Ravens roll. And then Billy Bajema is cut on Monday.

I'm picking up Vonta Leach off the waiver wire and starting him at flex this week, and if he doesn't put up 40 points, it's on YOU BILLY BAJEMA!

No one has mentioned the biggest factor this week: whether he decide to wear white pants and give the Packers a slim chance, or go all-black, in which case its game over._________________Comp picks and DPI, That's what Baltimore does!

Seriously, how ridiculous is it that the spread for this game opened with the Packers as 3.5 point favorites. Home field is worth 3 points, and ours is probably 1-1.5 points better than that as a top 3 home environment. So, the Packers without Clay Matthews are 7 points better than us?!?

This is the first top QB we've faced since Manning, and we still have our weak points in the secondary (*cough* Graham *cough*), but I have little fear this will look anything like that._________________Comp picks and DPI, That's what Baltimore does!

Last edited by wackywabbit on Fri Oct 11, 2013 11:49 am; edited 1 time in total

Dean Pees really needs to let Jimmy Smith go and play press-man all day, because asking him to play off-man against Rodgers and his receivers? That's just asking for trouble.

The pass rush definitely needs to hit high gear early and get Rodgers running for his life. He'll still complete passes, but it's more a case of trying to limit his success, rather than stop him completely.

Please, oh please let's see Monroe start this game, and hopefully Joe can get a secure pocket to throw the ball from. Continuing to build on the running game would be nice, too._________________