Coinciding with the 2012 US Open Of Surfing in Huntington Beach, the UFC recently held an open tryout, if you will, to find the newest card-carrying ring girl for its prestigious organization. And even though we already had the perfect candidate in mind, hundreds of women showed up to the casting call for the chance to strut their stuff around an octagon, blow kisses into the camera, and shun the pathetic advances of drunken fans until they are inevitably fired when they turn 25. Ahhhh, America.

As it turns out, the Huntington auditions were no walk in the park: The day began with a clothes-off pose-off, as is tradition, before the advancing contestants were forced to undergo a vigorous test of body, mind, and spirit, which included a five mile swim, a 100 question multiple choice assessment, a talent show, and a horse semen chug-off (at Joe Rogan’s request). The remaining contestants must have been really funny or something is what we’re saying, because Brittney Palmer they are not.

In either case, check out a bunch of the candidates after the jump, head over to Transworld Surf to check out the rest, and let us know what you think. (Author’s note: Not about the picture viewer. I don’t care about your frivolous first world problems.)

Not the cream of the crop by any means, seriously. Does anybody else see the c-section scar on the girl in the purple bikini top?

Grandmas Nutmeg- August 8, 2012 at 7:55 am

#11 looks like the cockblocking girl from Sex Drive. Anyways, why can't Dana just hold these competitions at escort services like he did when Edith got hired.

As Good As Anyone- August 8, 2012 at 7:38 am

I vote for Cailin Mendes aka "Girl in the White Dress"

Apparently she's some sort of semi-nude model (yeah, totally stalked), might as well hire her since she already has some sort of 15 minutes of fame.

HEY- August 7, 2012 at 11:17 pm

1, 11, 15, and 16. Otherwise, keep searching. And I believe the correct term is "Octagon Girl". XD

Mr_Misanthropy- August 7, 2012 at 10:50 pm

@ Get Em Off Me

You would look a little unsure of yourself too if you just signed a gag order under Uncle Dana's desk and then spent a half hour on his private casting couch.

"So you wanna be a fucking ring card girl?!?"

Get Off Me- August 7, 2012 at 8:29 pm

#3 looks unsure about all this deep down inside.

itsgalf- August 7, 2012 at 5:46 pm

As they are, none of the chicks...I think only #6 and #16 give you something to work with.

smellypiratehooker- August 7, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Does Cecil Peoples judge beauty contests too?

RwilsonR- August 7, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Girl in the white dress FTW! Oh, and not sure if anyone has mentioned it previously, but this picture viewer is really not the most enjoyable to use.

Xanderschultz- August 7, 2012 at 4:31 pm

I could find a better lineup if you gave me 1 hour and 5 block square radius. #5 is hot but she's got "that look in her eyes". You know, the psycho, Chuck Liddell look that Goldy is fond of.

mt59801- August 7, 2012 at 3:44 pm

BREAK MEDIA..........FIX THE GODDAMN PHOTO! In 1998 geocities and angelfire had tools that worked better. CP staff, you can embed pics on the page for the article so why are you even using that pile of shit. Can you maybe upload to imgur so the 10 of us who visit this place can see the pictures.

paperplane- August 7, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Plz find the girl in the white dress

The12ozCurls- August 7, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Well, at least I know for future referrence that if I ever need to use the tag "butterface parade" when writing a post for CP - it will auto-fill and I won't have to type both words out completely.

The12ozCurls- August 7, 2012 at 1:45 pm

HOLY SHIT JJ!!!!
Did you really just use "butterface" as a tag? AWESOME - lol

peter138misfit- August 7, 2012 at 1:45 pm

I just keep checking cagepotato.com, in hope of "the girl in white dress" reveals her identity.

The12ozCurls- August 7, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Nice ink on #11 - "LOVE NEVER FAILS"
Love may never fail, but the choices you have made with your life sure have sweetheart.

beef_kurtains- August 7, 2012 at 1:44 pm

was so excited, then I realized I had to use the Gallery Viewer. I'd rather not...