Arguments are often like mud fights -
the longer they go on, the messier everything gets, and
the harder it gets to see anything clearly.
When I "discuss" issues with
my SO, do my conversations sometimes turn into mud
fights, with each trying to score a "hit" on
each other, until one finally loses, and the other wins?
There's a saying that if one person
loses in a relationship, no one wins. If I bring up my
partners misdeeds and faults to try and convince them how
much they hurt me, all I'm doing is slinging mud, with
the strange hope that if it hits them in the eyes, they
can see my side better.
If I really want to clear the air, and
have my partner understand how I feel, I can set a clear
example. By encouraging them to speak freely, without me
defending myself or rebuking them, I can help build a
real spirit of love and conciliation. Maybe we'll
discover that both our actions were less than perfect,
once we truly listen to each other's thought and
feelings.

Just for Today
Today I'll look at one small problem I
want to talk over with my SO, and ask them to discuss it
with me. If they agree, I'll try my best to refrain from
pointing out what is wrong with them or their past
choices. Instead, I'll encourage them to talk openly and
treat everything they say with respect, and ask them to
do the same for me.

Free and fair discussion will ever be
found the firmest friend to truth. - G. Campbell