‘It’s draining to only ever be able to afford to look, but we still like to look.’ Harrods, London.
Photograph: David Levene for the Guardian

With the news that the Musée d’Orsay in Paris has been accused of discriminatory practices against France’s students from poorer backgrounds, many people who would like to believe we’re all in it together may have to review their ideas. Public spaces that should be accessible to those who don’t usually frequent them are still shockingly hostile towards anyone who doesn’t fit into a narrow identity.

The Musée d’Orsay may be one of the few places to get called out on it, but this kind of social pressure on working-class people is more widespread than you’d think. Here are just a few of the situations that unspoken social codes can make hostile for anyone who doesn’t seem to “fit in”.

Shopping

This can be unbearable for many working-class people. It’s draining and soul-destroying to only ever be able to afford to look – but we still like to look. Maybe the security guards who follow us think they’re invisible, but we know they’re there, right behind us, waiting in hope for the moment we give into our baser nature and slip something into our bag or pocket. We can also see the judgmental glances from the sales people as we wander, under-dressed, as a tourist in Harrods, for example – or, closer to home, in the designer outlet stores at Gunwharf Quays. No matter how hard I try to ignore the glances coming my way, I can still see them. There’s no law against browsing, but some cashiers and floor staff may have missed that memo.

The arts

‘Dance class was the place where your peers know straight away if you had a hand-me-down outfit.’ Photograph: Kim Ludbrook/EPA

More specifically, access to learning and training in them. Lessons for acting and dance are filled with children from families who can afford all the kit without a second thought. The uniforms are mind-boggling in price: a simple leotard can cost upwards of £20. Dance class, as I remember from my own childhood, was the place where your peers knew straight away if you had a hand-me-down outfit – and the subtle sneers and glances we might receive as adults have nothing on the viciousness of other children. It’s almost as though, for those at the lower end of the socioeconomic ladder, dance lessons are the foundation for a life of feeling never quite adequate. Children know when someone among them is somehow “less than” – a feeling that can follow disadvantaged children throughout their lives.

School trips

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The humble school trip has become a source of anxiety and dread for parents across the country. Money is tight, and it’s needed to pay rent and energy bills, and to put food on the table. To have an exuberant child burst through the door with a letter from school – one for a trip to Disneyland Paris, no less – and have to explain that they can’t go is heartbreaking. For children who receive free school meals, the dreaded “paper bag” lunches declare their status to classmates, and the lack of money to spend in gift shops or markets instantly makes a child stand out from the crowd. It’s a sad reality more and more families are having to face. My children don’t even have passports. There’s no point, after all, in paying for a passport that will never be used. Which brings me to:

Holidays

The supreme court has spoken, and ruled that children cannot be taken out of school during term time for a family holiday. This, in theory, is sensible and ensures that each child gets the most from their education. In reality, things get a little darker if you’re too poor to pay for a break during school holidays, when prices jump astronomically.

Jobs

One is expected to dress, talk and act in a certain way – a way many from the working classes have never experienced

For many working-class children, dreams end up being tempered by reality. Journalism, acting, the arts, law and medicine all have a disproportionate percentage of employees from the middle and upper classes. And even if you do make it, people from a working-class background are likely to earn less than their middle-class counterparts. One is expected to dress, talk and act in a certain way, and it’s a way that many from the working classes have never experienced, making it difficult to break into these fields at all, and even harder to progress in them.

Eating out

It doesn’t happen often, but when it does it can be a minefield. Family-friendly places are often essential, as the added cost of childcare can mean the meal can’t go ahead at all, so the kids come along on date night. If you’re unlucky, you might face “the look” from a server who (correctly) thinks you should be working there, not eating. I’ve had a friend who was told to pay for the food she ordered up front, rather than be billed at the end of the meal like everyone else, in case she couldn’t afford it, or did a runner. If that’s not discrimination, then I don’t know what is.