It was. It was the best of times... I need to wash my hair

Category Archives: step parenting

I have recently been socializing with other step parents. I hear and can share their frustrations. Step parenting is like being the District of Columbia. You pay taxes, but don’t get a vote.

In my recent read about Lincoln I discovered that he would NEVER have been the great man he became were it not for his stepmom. His mom died when he was young, his dad was a simple, uneducated man. Yet, he snagged a nice lady for his second wife who found Abe was practically feral when she entered his life.

put a dress on him and Daniel Day Lewis could play her as well

She got him educated, believed in him and, literally, the rest is history.

So, there would have been no emancipation proclamation without a step mother!!

Anyway, good time for a best of Cool Mom. A visit from my mom about this subject. ( note, lil Vivien is 2, in the house I had to sell, pre Rex. I got crap that I let her use a bottle, ah, kiss off)

our topic of the day is sibling relationships with my experts Rex and Vivien. They are also part of a blended family. Under our roof right now we have off spring aged nearly 4, 7, and 27 with visits from a 19 year old.

In my mind I’m hosting a show with a large reach and today my guests are the two youngest kids in the house about how they feel about getting along with their siblings.

This was very fun to do. Cafe Mom Studios included me in a great line up of female comics who also happen to be moms. I hadn’t done stand up in a long time. It went very well. You will see my closing bit was pulled from something I developed here.

After Campanile closing, shingles and the usual drumbeat of life I happily jumped on a plane to a friends’ baby shower in NYC. First off, at my age, not a lot of babies showers anymore, but also I think sharing milestones are important. We lose each other so easily if we didn’t go to weddings and showers we would only exist through Facebook.

drinking hot coco in cold New York

I needed a break from being so absorbed in my husband’s world, be it his work life or issues with one of his adult kids. I’m building walls and boundaries. I’m setting limits. I’m trying to detach. I don’t want to get shingles again.

Being a step parent feels like being the District of Columbia, I pay taxes, but I don’t get a vote. Or like when I sat through our schools bone crushingly dull Board of Directors meeting, raised my hand to ask a question and was told that what I was asking was off the agenda . In a chunk of my home life I’m Puerto Rico.

THIS HAS BEEN A WAY OF LIFE FOR YEARS.

Okay, so when I can’t get away for a few days, or afford therapy, how can I get a little R and R and detachment? Good old fashion movies. It’s my favorite thing about flying (but lordy, bring some good headphones, I forgot mine this trip and my ears were bleeding from me jamming the cheapies in my drums). So I’m always about 6 to 12 months behind in movie reviews, but just in case you are like me and never get out, here are my reviews of movies people have already seen:

“Ted” Mark Whalberg and the dirty teddy bear. Snort laugh funny. Woke up the Hispanic guy next to me on the plane slapping my knee to this one. Love Mark Whalberg, always have. Besides his good looks, he makes himself vulnerable and is great at deadpan.

“People like Us“, not a good title, but engaging story of a relationship between long lost half siblings. Liked this a lot. Elizabeth Banks can do anything. Comedy, drama. She is fantastic. Michelle Pfeiffer in her first role as Jessica Lange, or JL like role. Great job. The Darling Chris Pine. Has Channing Tatum been keeping him from me? Bradley Cooper might have to share me. I haven’t decided yet, but Cougar Brogdon might have a new interest. Anyway, good story. HOWEVER my one beef is one that is common with American films NO one can finish a conversation when they are in conflict. A few heated lines, walk out of room. Time passes. They see each other again. Heated lines, walk out of room, rinse, repeats. In real life no one would drive around LA that much. “I’m finishing this topic up BEFORE I get in my car AGAIN” For the last 40 minutes of the film I had to put my left hand up by my eye as the older Asian gentleman in the window seat was making rhythmic motions on his quad. Everywhere, boundary issues.

I changed my seat for “What to Expect when you are Expecting” I almost didn’t slide my card for this one. I was pretty sure I would hate it. I enjoyed it for the most part. Yes, a few scenes where I had to turn away like for the reocurring “dad’s club”. Too cute for the room. However, lots of funny comedy bits throughout and my girl Elizabeth Banks being very funny. A bit more “Bridesmaid” than I had ‘expected’. I thought J Lo did a good job.

where has this guy been? yum

I think the turn off for me with this film was the poster. Where it looked like all the stars where in one place with their fake bellys. I thought it was going to be more “Steele Magnolias” and it was more “Love American Style.” I loved that show. Chace Crawford (who also had the fight, walk away, fight, walk away syndrome here) is a tad young for me, but pretty cute. I think Chris Pine has been keeping him from me.

Speaking of 6 months ago… I finally got to watch some of HBO’s “Girls”. I moved back to the seat by the guy, who I had now figured out was Korean, and had ceased massaging his thigh. It’s not a show I want on with my daughter in the room. I was interested, jealous impressed that Lena Dunham got it made at 27. They are vapid and annoying like many of the critics say, but so were the dudes in ‘Entourage’. It did make me really happy that I wasn’t a single 20 something making poor choices with men (anymore). I’d rather be a crabby, married 40 something. I did think that Nepotism poster was fun-ny. Allison Williams looks so much like her dad I expected her to read the news.

How did I see a BRAND new movie? I’s not even out yet. Oh, well I was invited to a free screening by a friend. I saw “Promise Land”. Written and starring Matt Damon ( love) and John Kr… something, the guy from “The Office”. Directed by Gus Van Sant. Right before we went in my friend “Sid” ( I call her that because she is on a Siddartha like quest) said “It’s about fracking”.

Oh, frack I said. I could see the preachy liberal message coming around the bend. First 30 minutes I was pleasantly surprised. Then the great Hal Hollbrooke rose as the conscious of his community with the townspeople silently standing up with him in a high school gym and I nudged Sid, “Here we go..” She nodded.

Then it calmed down, mostly, to good acting, good story, good dialogue, pretty pictures. But, right at then end, there it was. The kind of ending that NEVER happens in real life and is devoid of moral ambiguity. I love moral ambiguity. That is life.

Afterward, the stars were interviewed ( with director Van Sant) and they were both so charming and funny I vowed to try to remember the name of the guy who is married to Emily Blunt. I’d like to see a movie of that guy and Matt Damon just hanging out.

I was there and so was Matt Damon.

When I got home the kids were asleep and my dear chef fixed up some leftovers for me and we settled down to watch “Cowboys and Aliens”. Plus: Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford. Done, right there, I’m in. Also, I love Westerns and Mark could watch Independence Day 24/7 so we were pleased. However, a lot of the film was dark and the dialogue was hard to catch. I almost put it on captioned at one point, but then it became a big alien shootout– fine with me– and lines weren’t that important.

Ah, what 8 month old film will I watch next! And suggestions? Nothing with rape or torture.

Another exciting episode of my — I think– funny web series I did with Cafemom studios. This one is features my dear stepson Oliver. He is not an actor by nature, but he was a good sport– and I paid him– to take part in this spoof of my pathetic attempts to be the B parent I can be.

NOTE: the dub of him saying “mom” at the Dodger game was added in a later edit. Not his voice, nor would he ever say that to me. He has a mom. I’m always Daphne. Or “stepmommy dearest”, maybe. I think they needed to do that since I shot that part myself and the sound and picture were not optimum.

Happy! So Proud of Oliver ( my Nick Jonas). I’m so glad that I got such a nice stepson. It could have all gone so wrong. Here we are ( with his grandma, Mark’s mom beaming in the background) right after the commencement. While my pride and love for Oliver does not waver, but enthusiasm during the service flagged a tad. Here I tell Rex what he missed.