New York and Erika

We
had been considering for some time when, during our time in Japan, we would
fly back to New York to visit Tom’s Mum, Erika. Though she had made quite a good
recovery from a very bad experience in hospital in May 2010, it was clear
from emails we received from Tom’s sister, Inge, that Erika’s health was
steadily declining. While we were in Guam, Inge let us know that there had
been a marked deterioration in Erika’s health in recent weeks. At this point
we determined that we would fly back from Japan as soon as we reasonably
could, having ensured that ‘Sunstone’ was likely to be safe while we were
away. As a result, we flew from Osaka’s Kansai airport, only 20km from
Tannowa, on 7 December.

Fortunately,
though she was often very uncomfortable and in pain, Erika was able to go out
occasionally and treated us all to a sumptuous and exotic lunch at Jean
George on the occasion of Inge’s birthday. Despite busy work schedules, both
Inge and Chris were able to get away for a couple of hours for the first of
several family get-togethers during the weeks around Christmas.

One
of the reasons we had decided to return to New York so promptly after
arriving in Japan was Erika’s devotion to the celebration of Christmas. Like
many Germans, she loved the occasion, particularly Christmas Eve. Of course,
the celebration is nothing without lots of preparation. Thus a tree, however
small, is essential and it must be exactly the right shape so that it can be
thoroughly decorated. In addition, there are myriad small decorations and
candles to be scattered in very particular places and orders throughout the
apartment. In this case, Inge, Vicky and I were delighted to do exactly as we
were bid. Inge had already baked Christmas cookies and Tom had concocted the
essential ‘heering salat’, all under Erika’s direction.

December
is a busy month for Jackson family celebrations. Having celebrated Inge’s
birthday in high style as a family, Erika also treated the two of us, to
dinner at the Ocean Grill on the occasion of our 38th anniversary,
giving us one of our few evenings out in NYC during our stay and a chance to
walk through the very beautiful Christmas lights on the Columbia University
campus.

Whenever in New York, Vicky cannot resist a few arty
photos. In this case, a portrait of doorman, John, who has been so kind to
Erika over the years (with the artist mirrored in the background); the famous
Flat Iron building; and her annual shot of the Empire State.

Though
Erika was not up to the journey, the two of us went for the evening to Chris
and Susan’s lovely house in New Jersey and were flabbergasted by their huge
and very fully decorated tree.

As
is traditional in the Jackson family, everyone gathers on Christmas Eve for dinner
and presents. It was a lovely occasion, made poignant by our all knowing that
it was almost certainly Erika’s last Christmas and perhaps the last occasion
on which everyone would be together with her. Nevertheless, everyone, perhaps
especially Erika, enjoyed themselves, in the usual, somewhat raucous, Jackson
fashion.

As
though she had been holding on for Christmas, Erika’s health deteriorated
sharply almost immediately thereafter. On 30 January, just the day before we
were to leave, Tom took Erika for her scheduled appointment at the hospital
with Dr. Chuang. Dr. Chuang has taken wonderful care of Erika, preserving her
quality of life through several years of illness and treatment. But it was
now apparent that her long battle with cancer was over. Erika had determined
in her own mind that she was ready, almost indeed eager to go. As she put it,
“I would like to join Daddy, who has the champagne cooling and ready!”

Our
departure had, fortuitously been postponed by mother nature, in the form of
two feet of snow deposited on the New York area, bringing chaos to all forms
of transport. It was just as well, because it gave us a few extra days with
Erika. We were reluctant to leave, with Erika in her weakened state, but she
seemed comfortable and stable at the time and arrangements for almost
full-time care at home seemed to be almost settled.

Unfortunately,
shortly after our return to Japan, Erika weakened markedly. Inge battled with
the bureaucracy to ensure full-time care cover and eventually won, but still,
with Chris’ support, had to take most of the burden of caring for Erika for
the last three difficult weeks of her life.

Erika
died on 20 January 2011, just 13 days short of her 92nd birthday. She had a
remarkable life. She was an amazing survivor, having come physically
unscathed through both the holocaust and the bombing of Berlin during WWII.
If anything these experiences seemed to have made her a more determined
person. Despite her German up-bringing and English husband, she was a staunch
American. Yet she loved the English countryside. Though she adored flowers
and revelled in gardening, she was really a city girl and delighted in
walking the streets of New York with all its variety and lively chaos. Though
she had many talents, including her remarkable ability as a linguist, and
although she could have been extremely successful in working life, she, like
many women of her generation, determined that her first job was as a mother.It was a job she did with extraordinary
devotion and intensity – from the virtuosity of her haute cuisine to the
passionate interest and pride she displayed in all her children’s lives and
accomplishments.Sometimes that
intensity was almost too much for us, her children.But in the end we will remember the extraordinary gusto with
which she led her life, and we will always be grateful for everything she
gave us, both in terms of our relative successes in life and whatever
strengths there may be in our characters.