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Fetish Footwear: Being Bad Never Looked So Good

I've reached deep into the hidden crevices of my extensive fashion vocabulary, searched high and low in my lexicon of silhouettes and hemlines, to find a word that suits these shoes perfectly, and yet I've been forced to resort to a cliche that truly says it all: FIERCE. The granddaddy of fetish footwear, these Christian Louboutin zippered heels, will set you back $835. But...

there are endless iterations of amazing "inspired by" versions all over the place right now, and they're going to stay in style well past Christmas, I promise.

The key to these shoes is that they have to look insane, and by insane I mean a number of things: 1. "How the hell can she walk in those??" 2. "Who the hell does she think she is walking around in Kenosha/Schenectady/Bakersfield/Springfield/Boise/her high school hallways/etc. in those??" 3. "That girl could totally kick my ass. And not have a hair out of place." 4. "She must be French." 5. Black. Leather. Lots of inches.

They also look even cooler when they're paired with something unexpected, like a floral dress or a pair of loose-fitting boyfriend jeans. If you want to just ooze sex appeal, they work with cigarette pants or an Herve Leger-style bandage dress pretty well too, but the average gal should start small and work her way up to that va-va-voom moment. Shop my favorite cheap(er) versions here--Jessica Simpson's is a total steal!