Posted!

A link has been posted to your Facebook feed.

Buy Photo

Mother and daughter Wanda Marsh and Cindy Bystrek painted the pictures behind them at a Survivors of Suicide Day program at Nicolet High School in Glendale three months after Bystrek's son died by suicide in 2017. Hannah Kirby/ Now News Group

Wanda Marsh said painting takes away all of her stress. "You're just thinking of your painting, not of anything else," she said. "I could sit there and the world could go by." Hannah Kirby/ Now News Group

The works of Wanda Marsh of Oak Creek and Cindy Bystrek of Cudahy can be viewed at the 'Paintings of Hope' exhibit at Clement Manor's art gallery in Greenfield until Jan. 10. Hannah Kirby/ Now News Group

If the song "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen came on, you could count on Andy Bystrek to belt it out with grand gestures.

He's no longer alive, but that song is always a reminder.

"Now, that's my sign from him," said Cindy Bystrek, Andy's mother. "So many times when I'm feeling emotional about him, the song comes on the radio. I usually look up and go, 'Very funny,' and turn it up loud and sing.'"

Andy Bystrek died by suicide on Aug. 21, 2017 at age 26. "It was a punch to the gut," Cindy Bystrek said.

Three months later, Cindy Bystrek of Cudahy, her 86-year-old mother, Wanda Marsh of Oak Creek, and six of their family members and friends attended a Survivors of Suicide Day program at Nicolet High School in Glendale.

"For me, as the mom, it was nice to be around other people who have gone through the same thing," Cindy Bystrek said.

A two-hour painting session was part of the gathering. Participants could choose between two pieces to paint, a globe with flowers in darker colors, or a brighter scene with trees. "I was in a dark place, but I didn't want to paint a dark picture," she said.

An instructor guided the artists through the process and taught them how to mix the colors and which brushes to use.

"It took your mind off of what you were going through and let you be free," Bystrek said.

When Bystrek and Marsh left the high school, they didn't stop painting.

Where to see their works

The artists' works, "Paintings of Hope," are being shown publicly for the first time at Clement Manor's art gallery, which is a special place for the mother and daughter duo.

Bystrek has done accounts payable and apartment resident billing at this faith-based continuing-care retirement community in Greenfield for eight years, and Marsh had two stays in its rehab unit after knee surgeries in 2016 and 2017.

"A huge part of my grieving process was being surrounded by my friends at Clement Manor," Bystrek said. Her son, Kevin, works with her there as a maintenance technician.

"We were just so embraced by everyone here; it was unbelievable," she said.

"When Cindy told me that her and her mom were painting, and showed me all of this different art work, I said, 'You have to have an exhibit,'" said Keri Gerlach, director of marketing at Clement Manor. "They both were willing to share their story and be out there, publicly, about their experience, which can only help people."

Gerlach started the gallery 10 years ago. "The intent of the gallery is for people to show their work who wouldn't usually have that opportunity," she said. "It's our way of connecting to the community with new and different people, enriching their lives, and the residents really enjoy all of the different art and learning about the artists."

The gallery has featured everything from quilts to pet photography. "I look for things that are different that you wouldn't expect at a regular gallery," she said.

Meet the artists

"We paint off of pictures," Bystrek said. She searches online for images she likes, prints them out and uses them for inspiration.

"You use your own judgement, whether you want to do it the same way someone else has done it or if you want to add or take away," Marsh said.

Bystrek described her own style as primitive, and said she prefers painting outdoor scenes. "They're a little more forgiving, whether they're precise or not," she said.

Buy Photo

Cindy Bystrek described her style as primitive, and said she prefers painting outdoor scenes.(Photo: Hannah Kirby/ Now News Group)

She spends her Saturdays at the easel in her kitchen. Sometimes, she paints one, and other times, she paints four. "It depends on what kind of mood I'm in," she said.

"I paint whenever the notion strikes, no special time or special day," Marsh said. She leaves her painting supplies out on the dining room table so they'e always ready to go. Her creativity typically starts flowing around 8 or 9 p.m.

"It takes away all the stress you have," she said. "You're just thinking of your painting, not of anything else. I could sit there and the world could go by."

About Andy

Andy Bystrek once danced so hard at a wedding reception and slid on his knees so many times, he had a hole in the knee of his pants when the night was over, Marsh said. "There was no shyness in that kid at all," Bystrek said.

He went to MATC and was a biomedical technician at the Milwaukee VA Medical Center. Bystrek and Marsh described him as funny, sarcastic, intelligent, compassionate, a joy to be around, a great friend, an awesome brother and a wonderful grandson.

Cindy Bystrek described her son, Andy Bystrek, as funny, sarcastic, intelligent, compassionate and a joy to be around. He died by suicide in August 2017.(Photo: Submitted)

"I could be anywhere, doing anything, and something will enter my mind and make me think of him," Bystrek said. "I can cry anywhere. But, everyday, I come to a new understanding about why it happened and what I'm supposed to be learning from it. I still hate it with a passion, but I'm getting better."

Her advice to people experiencing similar situations is to allow themselves to cry, be angry, and rely on others when they need to. Both Bystrek and Marsh recommend giving painting a try since it has helped both of them so much.

"If you make a mistake, you can just paint over it and start again," Bystrek said. "You get a redo in painting, you don't get a redo in life most times."

Kendall Kontranowski, 10, of Delafield, takes a selfie with her mom Kristin during the annual Delafield Tree Lighting event on Friday, Nov. 16, 2018. The event, hosted by the City of Delafield Tourism, featured live music, free cookies, hot cocoa and more. Scott Ash/Now News Group

A flag reflects on the bell of a horn as the 132nd Wisconsin Army National Guard Band performs at the seventh annual Operation Honor: A Salute to Veterans in Waukesha on Saturday, Nov. 10, 2018. Scott Ash/Now News Group

Catholic Memorial sets up for a kickoff in a swirl of snow during WIAA Division 3 Level 4 play against New Berlin Eisenhower Nov. 9 at Kettle Moraine. The Crusaders defeated the Lions, 41-14, to punch their ticket to the state title game. C.T. Kruger/Now News Group

Homestead's bench empties as the final seconds tick down in the Highlanders' 51-14 victory over Brookfield Central in the Division 2 state championship game at Camp Randall Stadium in Madison on Nov. 16, 2018. C.T. Kruger/Now News Group

Delafield's Clock Tower Square is filled with color during the annual Delafield Tree Lighting event on Friday, Nov. 16, 2018. The event, hosted by the City of Delafield Tourism, featured live music, free cookies, hot cocoa and more. Scott Ash/Now News Group

Runner and walkers pause for the Star Spangled Banner before the start of the Kelly Johnson Foundation's first Turkey Trot 5K Run/Walk at Mitchell Park on Nov. 24. The Foundation helps make college more affordable for hard working students. C.T. Kruger/Now News Group

Maddie (right) and Charlie Steffenhagen wait for thousands of lights to illuminate and for Santa to arrive as part of Greendale's annual Tree Lighting in front of Village Hall on Nov. 23. C.T. Kruger/Now News Group

New Berlin Eisenhower sophomore Adam Joda reaches for the ball during the WIAA Division 2 state championship match against Oregon on Saturday at Uihlein Soccer Park in Milwaukee. Scott Ash/Now News Group

Allison Young and Chris Henley (right) watch the first South Milwaukee Lions Club Lighted Christmas Parade roll along 15th Avenue near City Hall on Nov. 24 that followed the Old Fashioned Christmas festivities at City Hall. C.T. Kruger/Now News Group

Campbell Young works on a design for a bridge that she and siblings Rhett and Adeline would build using newspaper, yard and pipe cleaners to span a tub during a STEAM - science, technology, engineering, art and math - program at the Menomonee Falls Library on Nov. 14. C.T. Kruger/Now News Group

Nicolet junior Jalen Johnson rises for a dunk during a practice on Nov. 19. Johnson is one of nation's top-ranked players in the Class of 2020. He transferred from Sun Prairie at the start of the school year. Curt Hogg/Now News Group

Utezi Kalunbula, 6, mans his booth offering triangle games during the Cloud 9 Workshop's Kidpreneur Fair that featured 15 children in grades 1 through 5 selling products they created. C.T. Kruger/Now News Group

Pam Behrend transfers turkey into a chaffing dish pan for serving to an anticipated 400 diners at the Christ the King Lutheran Church's seventh annual Thanksgiving Gathering on Nov. 21. C.T. Kruger/Now News Group

Village of Fox Point employees provide waste collection services from residents' driveways, along with yard waste collection and roadside leaf removal in the fall. Recycling collection is contracted out to a company. C.T. Kruger/Now News Group

A child's teepee in a second floor bedroom at the 26th annual Christmas Fantasy House with 18 rooms decorated by more than 16 area decorators for benefit Ronald McDonald House Charities Eastern Wisconsin. The Fantasy house will be open 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. on Nov. 9, and 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. on Nov. 10 and 11. Parking and shuttle to the House is at Ridgewood Baptist Church, 2720 Lilly Road, Brookfield. Tickets are $20 at the door. C.T. Kruger/Now News Group

Senior Trang Mau checks a box before sealing it for the Samaritan’s Purse Operation Christmas Child project. Members of the Sussex Hamilton Junior Optimist International club packed shoebox-sized containers with toys, clothing, personal care and other items on Nov. 7 as part of a service project with the Sussex/Lisbon/Lannon Optimist Club. C.T. Kruger/Now News Group

Nicolet's Kobe Johnson rises up for a layup over Sonny Phinisee during practice on Nov. 19. Johnson, along with his older brother, Jalen, transferred from Sun Prairie at the beginning of the school year. Curt Hogg/Now News Group

The Cedarburg Civic Band performs during Cedarburg's annual tree lighting ceremony at the Community Center on Monday, Nov. 26, 2018. The event, hosted by Cedarburg Chamber of Commerce, features make-and-take crafts, cookies, cider, music, caroling and a visit from Santa to light the tree. Scott Ash/Now News Group

Acupuncture needles are placed in Elba Rodriquez's forehead in a point that calms the body, and in the ears to balance the body's four planes by Acupuncturist Vashir Xiong in the Aurora West Allis Medical Center emergency department on Nov. 20. C.T. Kruger/Now News Group

Marquette running back Daeleon Brown-Williams (12) is stopped by Muskego defenders at the goal line on forth down in the third quarter during the WIAA Division 1 Level 4 playoff game on Friday, Nov. 9, 2018. Scott Ash/Now News Group

Milwaukee band Ocean Rush performs during the second annual "Lighting of The Corners" in Brookfield on Saturday, Nov. 17, 2018. The event features live music, photos with reindeer, holiday crafts, a visit from Santa and the Winter Princesses, and the lighting of a 30-foot tree. Scott Ash/Now News Group

Waukesha West sophomore Anna Holland (4) jumps for joy as the Wolverines celebrate their quarterfinal win over Arrowhead at the WIAA state girls volleyball tournament on Thursday, Nov. 1. Curt Hogg/Now News Group

Six-year-old Hadley Andrew of Delafield takes a closer look at an ornament during the annual Delafield Tree Lighting event on Friday, Nov. 16, 2018. The event, hosted by the City of Delafield Tourism, featured live music, free cookies, hot cocoa and more. Scott Ash/Now News Group

Mitchel Griep of CenterPointe Boat Services hands off a flat of foodstuffs to Karen Semrad from a boat used to transport a major food donation to the Pewaukee Food Pantry at Gethsemane United Methodist Church on Nov. 21. CenterPointe collected donations from customers and transported a collection by Pewaukee's Asa Clark Middle School that the students had presorted by type and date. C.T. Kruger/Now News Group

Volunteer Myrna Ebling of Cedarburg serves up a delicious bowl of soup during the Empty Bowls fundraising event at the Ozaukee Pavilion in Cedarburg on Thursday, Nov. 1, 2018. Proceeds from the event will benefit Family Sharing's food pantry and provide 600 Ozaukee County families with Thanksgiving dinners. Scott Ash/Now News Group

Navy Veteran Dick Garvy of Oconomowoc salutes the flag while attending the veterans recognition and remembrance assembly at Oconomowoc High School on Friday, Nov. 9, 2018. The event was organized by OHS student Hans Schiefelbein as he works to become an Eagle Scout. Scott Ash/Now News Group

Pius XI head coach Hansi Herzog hoists the gold ball as his team celebrates winning the the WIAA Division 3 state soccer title with a 3-1 win over McFarland on Saturday at Uihlein Soccer Park in Milwaukee. Scott Ash/Now News Group