Forum » Tag: rabbit - Recent Postshttp://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=rabbit
The NewsBiscuit Communityen-USFri, 09 Dec 2016 13:31:29 +0000http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2qhttp://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php
Vulcanised Rubber on ""Rabbit with pocketwatch" found in ear of Sir Alex Ferguson statue"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=71019#post-208864
Wed, 22 Jan 2014 16:15:38 +0000Vulcanised Rubber208864@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Manchester United executives have ordered sculptors to remove a white rabbit, depicted holding a pocketwatch, they hid in the ear of Sir Alex Ferguson's statue outside Old Trafford. </p>
<p>It was reported the sculptors inserted the rabbit as a mark of affection for the ex-Manchester United manager's injury-time trademark of looking at his watch whilst muttering "Oh dear! Oh dear! It shall be too late to grab a goal!" </p>
<p>The sculptors have denied this intention. Rather, they stated, "the rabbit represents David Moyes, who has lured the club down a rabbit hole."
</p>Chubbington on "Exclusive: Salmond reveals super secret, invisible source of legal advice on Sco"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50459#post-145567
Wed, 24 Oct 2012 23:17:45 +0000Chubbington145567@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>May do so, thanks. Also not wild about the final paragraph though so it might be first for the chop when it comes to editing...
</p>dvo4fun on "Exclusive: Salmond reveals super secret, invisible source of legal advice on Sco"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50459#post-145565
Wed, 24 Oct 2012 23:05:04 +0000dvo4fun145565@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Welcome Chubbington. </p>
<p>For what it's worth, I think it could do with a little slapping around to reduce its length ... Maybe lose penultimate para?
</p>Chubbington on "Exclusive: Salmond reveals super secret, invisible source of legal advice on Sco"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=50459#post-145561
Wed, 24 Oct 2012 22:53:14 +0000Chubbington145561@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Scotland's First Minister Alex Salmond has finally revealed the source of the legal advice he sought on an independent Scotland's prospective membership of the European Union; a giant rabbit called Frank, visible only to him.</p>
<p>A spokesman for the Scottish Government today claimed that the rabbit - who also counselled Salmond on the approaching end of the world, as well as giving him nutritional advice and guidance on how not to come off as such a smug twat - assured the First Minister that Scotland would be welcomed into the EU with open arms due to the provision in the Treaty of European Union for the free movement of workers - movement which would be sufficient to kill off the waves of heart disease-ridden jocks who would flood to Poland in the event of independence to escape the SNP- therefore lowering the union's overall level of heart disease.</p>
<p>"The First Minister is satisfied, not only that we would be able to join the EU, but also, as the <strike>King Overlord</strike> leader of the richest nation in the world - thanks to our hitherto untapped reserves of the little known mineral Tartanium - he would soon be appointed as The Guardian of Europe to lead a resurgence against the relentless empire building of the villainous Chinese."<br />
<br />
"In addition, his legal council, Frank - who has in turn consulted such experts in international law and finance as The Ghost Who Never Lies and Griphook the Gringotts Goblin - has asserted that Scotland would not be legally compelled to join the Euro and would in fact be allowed, nay encouraged, to conduct international business in a combination of Zimbabwean Dollars and recycled shoes."</p>
<p>When asked if the mysterious legal council would ever make a public statement, the First Minister's spokesman hastily explained that he was invisible to everyone except Mr Salmond, before claiming that a vortex was forming over our heads which would herald the end of time and ran away screaming and waving his hands above his head...
</p>MightyBlair on "Discovery of unpublished manuscript reveals Beatrix Potter's darker side."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3154#post-9131
Sat, 24 Apr 2010 08:37:05 +0000MightyBlair9131@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Excellent!
</p>AdrianJ on "Discovery of unpublished manuscript reveals Beatrix Potter's darker side."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3154#post-9129
Sat, 24 Apr 2010 08:21:44 +0000AdrianJ9129@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Insert where necessary...</p>
<p><em>...and the revelation that “Nutkin” is Edwardian slang for incest.</em>
</p>sauce on "Discovery of unpublished manuscript reveals Beatrix Potter's darker side."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3154#post-9119
Sat, 24 Apr 2010 05:59:37 +0000sauce9119@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>5 stars but where is Squirel Nutkin?
</p>edward hack on "Discovery of unpublished manuscript reveals Beatrix Potter's darker side."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3154#post-9116
Sat, 24 Apr 2010 05:49:51 +0000edward hack9116@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Can't wait for the Ltd Edition mug...in the mean time have a lot of debauched stars.
</p>AdrianJ on "Discovery of unpublished manuscript reveals Beatrix Potter's darker side."http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3154#post-9046
Fri, 23 Apr 2010 17:06:15 +0000AdrianJ9046@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>The recent discovery of a manuscript, which had lain buried for over a century in the archives of publishers, Frederick Warne and Co, has forced the literary world to re-evaluate the life and works of the popular children's author, Beatrix Potter.</p>
<p>The document, originally penned by Potter in 1909, appears to be the final draft of an unpublished story, which Alice Derwent - Potter expert and head curator at The World of Beatrix Potter Attraction in Cumbria - describes as being: " a remarkable and dramatic departure from the nursery favourites for which Beatrix Potter is best known".</p>
<p>In keeping with the author's traditional approach, the manuscript conveys a story featuring a cast of anthropomorphic animal characters, which has been skilfully illustrated with delicately hand painted watercolours. However, this is where the similarity with Potter’s previous work ends.</p>
<p>On reviewing the manuscript for The Times Literary Supplement, its editor, Sir Peter Stothard, said: "although the discovery of a brand new Beatrix Potter story is undoubtedly an exciting find, The Tale of Boris the Badger Buggerer is quite frankly the most depraved tome it has ever been my misfortune to read. I did consider myself to be a well read and broad minded man of the world, but I'm afraid I found the illustrations to be disgustingly explicit, and the chapter detailing how Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle came by her name actually made me physically sick. I'd never even heard of the verb 'tiggy' before."</p>
<p>Contrary to what the manuscript’s title suggests, it's narrative chronicles the debauched antics of a depraved Badger named Boris, who has a strong predilection for buggery - as opposed to detailing the adventures of someone named Boris, who possesses a penchant for Badger abuse. Mr. Stothard described the sexually explicit and extremely violent story line as being: "a cross between A Clockwork Orange and American Psycho – only gorier."</p>
<p>"This unholy filth makes the Maquis de Sade look like – well – like Beatrix Potter, before the discovery of this manuscript. ": he concluded.</p>
<p>Alice Derwent also expressed her "considerable surprise" on first reading the new manuscript. Speaking from her hospital bed this morning, Miss Derwent said: "I'm afraid I lost consciousness when I reached the bit about Jemima Puddle-Duck and the golden shower. In hindsight, perhaps I should have given the manuscript a quick scan in private, before the public reading in front of the Bowness-on-Windermere Mother and Toddler Group."</p>
<p>"The Doctors tell me that, with extensive counselling, the children should eventually recover back to some semblance of normality": she continued. "Although many will still harbour a lifelong fear of Bunny Rabbits I'm afraid."</p>
<p>As well as impacting the literary world, and the psychological well being of a handful of disturbed toddlers, The Tale of Boris the Badger Buggerer has also left the lucrative Beatrix Potter merchandising industry reeling, with Wedgewood Potteries today announcing an urgent recall of their latest batch of 'Peter Rabbit and Friends Christening Sets'.</p>
<p>A spokesman for the pottery explained: "you're normally quite safe with Beatrix Potter, so we sort of skipped a lot of the usual QA process with the new designs, and didn't bother to properly proof read them. Unfortunately, adopting this approach has led to the worst cock-up since the whole 'My First Sleeping Detective Egg Cup' fiasco."
</p>