Is cheating on your partner normal? Why are people so promiscous?

nobody has mentioned the most important things: birth control and legal abortion.

up until the 1960's women did not have sex until they were married (mostly). Why? not because the did not want to but because there was no birth contrla and if they became pregnant they were in serious trouble. it was illegal to have an abortion.

women are not stupid. they were not going to put themselves in that position, have a man knock them up, ruin their lives and social reputation etc.

the pill and legal abortion allowed men and women to have sex without consequences. the media has little to do with it, it only reflects the change.

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27143111

This is true too, though the 80's rolled in with the HIV and AIDS scare and put a bit of a damper on promescuity of the 60's and 70's. Still, birth control did lead to alot more sexual freedom in the minds of women. But cheating is a different matter all together. Either you're a cheater or you're loyal. Birth control or not.

I don't find it fun. I think it shows weakness and shows lack of meaning and true purpose. I think sex is overrated and people who think it's very important should go hire a permanent hooker and dig themselves in a ditch somewhere with them.

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 20672383

Say you like roller coasters...do you enjoy riding the same one over and over? Maybe, but now and then you want to ride a different one...it's not that you don't like the first coaster, you just want something different...Like M&M's, it's not that I don't like the yellow ones, I just don't want them every damn day of the week, at some point you go FUCK, I want a red one!

I don't find it fun. I think it shows weakness and shows lack of meaning and true purpose. I think sex is overrated and people who think it's very important should go hire a permanent hooker and dig themselves in a ditch somewhere with them.

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 20672383

Say you like roller coasters...do you enjoy riding the same one over and over? Maybe, but now and then you want to ride a different one...it's not that you don't like the first coaster, you just want something different...Like M&M's, it's not that I don't like the yellow ones, I just don't want them every damn day of the week, at some point you go FUCK, I want a red one!

People are easily "sold", on issues. They are the same people that trade their 2011 bmw for the new 2012 bmw.

Its really just an issue of being small minded. Usually when a person cheats they are being led on a ruse; Mainly by a third party, in which they tend to trust. The person has only one goal, which is to get in their pants; Even if there is a small fraction of actual "feelings for the partner"; In the end: It will only play out to that person sooner than later, getting bored, and finding another women / man to "sell" too.

An honest man or women would wait, They wouldn't attempt to gain any progress into a relationship with a significant other that was spoken for. This includes lunches, dinners, gifts, ect...

Any person that seeks to reward a Taken person is Trying to sell an idea, and buy "sex".

I wouldn't ask anyone that was "taken" out for any occasion... Its not right to me, or them, or their current lover.

I feel in an honest relationship: If the partner is no longer satisfied that they can "move on" with their partners blessing. Anything else, is obviously abusing them and is Not Normal behavior...

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23231420

Also sex in a relationship is a blessing and gift you share with your partner. If you give it to someone else, you no longer give your partner's affection meaning.

Affection and sex are a process in making love.

Do not confuse "affection" with "lust";

If someone is truly affectionate towards you; They won't pamper you with pleasantries until you give in.

I don't find it fun. I think it shows weakness and shows lack of meaning and true purpose. I think sex is overrated and people who think it's very important should go hire a permanent hooker and dig themselves in a ditch somewhere with them.

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 20672383

Say you like roller coasters...do you enjoy riding the same one over and over? Maybe, but now and then you want to ride a different one...it's not that you don't like the first coaster, you just want something different...Like M&M's, it's not that I don't like the yellow ones, I just don't want them every damn day of the week, at some point you go FUCK, I want a red one!

Quoting: BRIEF

So your comparing a person's intentions to material highs and boredom. That's like comparing a building to a boat. Nothing in comparison except that their objects.

So you advocate having countless of sex again and again and again and again for no real reason other then being bored and getting your high only to go back to an empty place or a relationship where you have to lie to the other person because they don't entertain you enough? What are people to you, clowns? Your going to tell me that the purpose of living on this planet is to fuck around, get high on sex, blow, and then do it again and again...what the fuck..?!

Normal? I dont know. I was married to the best man in the world. He was wonderful, gorgeous, sexy, never withheld sex...and neither did I. However after 20 years of marriage it got to the point I had heard every story he'd ever told a thousand times, he decided he'd had enough kids (I hadnt) and had a vasectomy. After that I got mightily unimpressed with him.

I never meant to fall inlove again....but when I met someone else, who was also free. Quite frankly....I had no intention of leaving my husband, had met hundreds of nice guys via work but was always faithful as anything and would be astounded if I, of al people were to cheat. Sometimes you meet someone so soulmatish that you just cum on the spot just looking at them. That was my downfall.

People are promiscuious, I wasnt built that way. UNTIL...I met someone that chucked me so far out of my comfortzone that I literally would have died if I couldnt spend time with him and it wasnt my husband. I lost him....he suicided because I told him the truth. After that I couldnt be with the bloke I loved most and my kids suffered as well. Not proud of how it all panned out BUT being single has been an amazing time too.

Some people find that married life gets tedious/repeatative even with the best partner....or find true love later in life....I dont condone cheaters who are just love addicts...they really shouldnt get married after they know their own faults. YOU OP...are exactly how I felt for the first 18 years of my married life.....so disgusted at people who stray. Sex is important, if YOU think it is or your partner thinks it is. With the right person it can be so maddenly uplifting and joyous that you cannot stay away. With others...it can be a chore or masterbating on anothers body. Sex is lovely, with the right person, HEAVENLY even. If you are married to a boring basturd who makes you cringe...it can be a nightmare.

If I could be with someone now...who made me feel loved, and took me to soaring heights, made me laugh, cry and feel joy/cameraderie...I would so marry again. You are right about loveless sex...its boring after a couple of times...degrading after that. Sex doesnt last for minutes/hours....it shapes your mind and happiness. If pushed away..you feel low selfworth, if pused upon too much....you can feel raped. Its only when the lovefilled sex consumes you both equally...and with the feeling that you both care deeply that sex is just another way of saying...I LOVE YOU!

I don't find it fun. I think it shows weakness and shows lack of meaning and true purpose. I think sex is overrated and people who think it's very important should go hire a permanent hooker and dig themselves in a ditch somewhere with them.

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 20672383

Say you like roller coasters...do you enjoy riding the same one over and over? Maybe, but now and then you want to ride a different one...it's not that you don't like the first coaster, you just want something different...Like M&M's, it's not that I don't like the yellow ones, I just don't want them every damn day of the week, at some point you go FUCK, I want a red one!

Quoting: BRIEF

So your comparing a person's intentions to material highs and boredom. That's like comparing a building to a boat. Nothing in comparison except that their objects.

So you advocate having countless of sex again and again and again and again for no real reason other then being bored and getting your high only to go back to an empty place or a relationship where you have to lie to the other person because they don't entertain you enough? What are people to you, clowns? Your going to tell me that the purpose of living on this planet is to fuck around, get high on sex, blow, and then do it again and again...what the fuck..?!

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 20672383

Sex is a physical need, like food...sure you can survive on protein shakes and vitamin supplements, but eating a variety of healthy foods is much more enjoyable...

...Then it all changed - and now you cannot find a loyal person at all!

All selfish.

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1266452

Women basically got a license to do what they want and thus generate one train wreck after the other.

Men, admittedly always used to have mistresses, but they never threatened the fabric of an intact family. With women being allowed to have affairs, they continuously feel the need to 'follow their true feelings', leave husband and family behind for a fling on the side, get bored and move on to the next one.

Women are stupid. While it is true that men do not understand women, they still understand them better than women understand themselves. Nobody will ever be able to understand women, they act on a whim with no logical, recurring pattern in their behavior.

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24394728

winner: best answer

children simply want what they want without regard to their claims, menz or bitches.

it's simply just the way it is in the west where most affluent women are kept in a childish state in perpetuity.

I don't find it fun. I think it shows weakness and shows lack of meaning and true purpose. I think sex is overrated and people who think it's very important should go hire a permanent hooker and dig themselves in a ditch somewhere with them.

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 20672383

Say you like roller coasters...do you enjoy riding the same one over and over? Maybe, but now and then you want to ride a different one...it's not that you don't like the first coaster, you just want something different...Like M&M's, it's not that I don't like the yellow ones, I just don't want them every damn day of the week, at some point you go FUCK, I want a red one!

Quoting: BRIEF

So your comparing a person's intentions to material highs and boredom. That's like comparing a building to a boat. Nothing in comparison except that their objects.

So you advocate having countless of sex again and again and again and again for no real reason other then being bored and getting your high only to go back to an empty place or a relationship where you have to lie to the other person because they don't entertain you enough? What are people to you, clowns? Your going to tell me that the purpose of living on this planet is to fuck around, get high on sex, blow, and then do it again and again...what the fuck..?!

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 20672383

Sex is a physical need, like food...sure you can survive on protein shakes and vitamin supplements, but eating a variety of healthy foods is much more enjoyable...

Quoting: BRIEF

if it's such a need why can I control myself and do it only when I find there is purpose behind it. Yes I get horny and such, but the idea of having countless sex partners is blah to me. Doing things just to do them doesn't ring a bell to me. Give me reason over lust or one minute highs.

Just like food, when people eat too much of it they let it consume them and then it starts to control them. Then they start craving food even when their not hungry. Just like sex. You have it once, it's great. Then you have it again, and you start looking at others for sex then you let it consume you. You forget about control, patience, dignity...It becomes artificial.

The presence of modern media has to factor in since TV, movies, books, magazines, music, etc. are helping to keep people in a hyper-sexed state of mind.

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27531391

I agree. People are bombarded with sexual imagery almost 24/7. A hundred years ago people probably didn't think of sex as much as they do now when faced with internet, TV, movies, magazines, billboards, people in skimpy clothing etc.. filled with sexual images.

I believe the primary reason people cheat are different for men and women.

Women do it for validation of thier own sexuality and a ego boost.

Men, it's the conquest.

If, after the first or second tryst, there are more things that carry the affair on like new affections, the physiology of being freshly 'in love', a diversion from a ho-hum family life, etc.

Quoting: Maguyver

Does it ever get to a point where you sit down and wonder to yourself if there even is a purpose to jumping from one person to the other? I'm not going through that crap my whole life. Too much stress, where is the control and devotion in people. Girlfriend cheated on me after I gave her the world and all because she got horny..hmmm. I wasn't mad at her, it just showed me the type of individual she was. Her intentions in life are obviously not spiritual or meaningful...

Normal? I dont know. I was married to the best man in the world. He was wonderful, gorgeous, sexy, never withheld sex...and neither did I. However after 20 years of marriage it got to the point I had heard every story he'd ever told a thousand times, he decided he'd had enough kids (I hadnt) and had a vasectomy. After that I got mightily unimpressed with him.

I never meant to fall inlove again....but when I met someone else, who was also free. Quite frankly....I had no intention of leaving my husband, had met hundreds of nice guys via work but was always faithful as anything and would be astounded if I, of al people were to cheat. Sometimes you meet someone so soulmatish that you just cum on the spot just looking at them. That was my downfall.

People are promiscuious, I wasnt built that way. UNTIL...I met someone that chucked me so far out of my comfortzone that I literally would have died if I couldnt spend time with him and it wasnt my husband. I lost him....he suicided because I told him the truth. After that I couldnt be with the bloke I loved most and my kids suffered as well. Not proud of how it all panned out BUT being single has been an amazing time too.

Some people find that married life gets tedious/repeatative even with the best partner....or find true love later in life....I dont condone cheaters who are just love addicts...they really shouldnt get married after they know their own faults. YOU OP...are exactly how I felt for the first 18 years of my married life.....so disgusted at people who stray. Sex is important, if YOU think it is or your partner thinks it is. With the right person it can be so maddenly uplifting and joyous that you cannot stay away. With others...it can be a chore or masterbating on anothers body. Sex is lovely, with the right person, HEAVENLY even. If you are married to a boring basturd who makes you cringe...it can be a nightmare.

If I could be with someone now...who made me feel loved, and took me to soaring heights, made me laugh, cry and feel joy/cameraderie...I would so marry again. You are right about loveless sex...its boring after a couple of times...degrading after that. Sex doesnt last for minutes/hours....it shapes your mind and happiness. If pushed away..you feel low selfworth, if pused upon too much....you can feel raped. Its only when the lovefilled sex consumes you both equally...and with the feeling that you both care deeply that sex is just another way of saying...I LOVE YOU!

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 13250526

Way to justify your selfish behavior. Please don't ever get married again... because even if you think you found your "soul mate" in your next marriage, you will again find another "soul mate" that you can't stay away from (because of the feeling you think they bring to you), cheat on you current "soul mate" and ruin another person again.

The reality of it is the "soul mate" you are chasing is not human, nor is it from a good source. It is a minion for evil, or the "soul destroyer". Trying to destroy both you and your husbands souls.

I believe that's all going to change once the power grid goes down for good. After the initial chaos and millions of deaths, the survivors will settle into a pre-industrial way of life in which a woman's very survival will be determined by her subservience to a man and willingness to be protected by a man. No more of this feminist "I am woman, hear me roar" bullshit.

No I'm trying to understand if sex really is that important and why people value it so much and if jumping from one person to the other really is worth it till you die...

People keep giving me the same reasons, boredom, sex, pleasure, and part of nature, but that isn't enough reason. In the end of the day we find ourselves alone and that's the part that confuses me. Is loneliness worth all the sex partness in the world...

How often do you see a man not give a shit about his gf/wife in order to get laid in the media (TV shows, movies), and how the wife always takes them back, usually.

And vice-versa.

It's conditioning OP.

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1266452

I see, thanks for trying to make me understand. I'm still confused though. What is the goal in making people have countless of sex over and over again? Isn't there some other reason in life...? I see that the main reason for cheating is mainly sex and attraction to others..but I'm not sexual or care much for the beauty of others..why am I loyal and most of everyone not? Where did I go wrong?

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 20672383

You are loyal because you have not met anyone who made you FEEL the need to be otherwise. You are ot sexual because the person you are married to does not make your hormones rev up and take over your brain/heart. Lucky you if that never happens....it makes life easier....though if you did meet a man/woman that made your heart soar to the point you felt you were walking on air for weeks at a time....you would feel that THAT was why you are alive....even if only for a moment in time.+

pitty I do the fools who have yet to discover the ritual of making love.

Bonding can be performed in the way of sex or making love. Study. Find yourself. Find your partners desires and needs and perfect them to the highest levels. Listen to every word they speak and memorize it. Keep it morally sound. Your woman or man will become obsessed with you. If a man delivers to his woman properly, he can render her into a sleep state after bonding. If he isn't, he isn't performing as needed.

I believe the primary reason people cheat are different for men and women.

Women do it for validation of thier own sexuality and a ego boost.

Men, it's the conquest.

If, after the first or second tryst, there are more things that carry the affair on like new affections, the physiology of being freshly 'in love', a diversion from a ho-hum family life, etc.

Quoting: Maguyver

Does it ever get to a point where you sit down and wonder to yourself if there even is a purpose to jumping from one person to the other? I'm not going through that crap my whole life. Too much stress, where is the control and devotion in people. Girlfriend cheated on me after I gave her the world and all because she got horny..hmmm. I wasn't mad at her, it just showed me the type of individual she was. Her intentions in life are obviously not spiritual or meaningful...

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 20672383

Because she got horny? I doubt it. That's a cover. I suspect she is comfortable with you, but in that, she lost her self sense that she's still hot and desirable. Someone showed her some attention and that made her loose a bit of her will to be faithful. Some people are weak in that regard. Even the most spiritual can cave to a weakness; that doesn't make them less valuable.

Adversity is inevitable, misery is optional.

Do or do not. There is no try.

"The enemy will never attack where you are strongest...He will attack where you are weakest. If you do not know your weakest point, be certain, your enemy will." Sun Tzu

How often do you see a man not give a shit about his gf/wife in order to get laid in the media (TV shows, movies), and how the wife always takes them back, usually.

And vice-versa.

It's conditioning OP.

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1266452

True..it is a decay of our moral fibre. Its in the media, on Television, even on the radio(Think Howard Stern). Hugh Heffner..they all promote cheating and in fact the media pretty much makes people think it is their right and their job to cheat on their spouses..mostly women..and hey if they get old then dump them for someone younger, its your duty. I see it on here all the time. It's called brainwashed, thinking that your better than the other person, that the other person is worthless. It is not money that is the root of all evil...it is Selfishness. I have seen it with my own eyes too many times.

Normal? I dont know. I was married to the best man in the world. He was wonderful, gorgeous, sexy, never withheld sex...and neither did I. However after 20 years of marriage it got to the point I had heard every story he'd ever told a thousand times, he decided he'd had enough kids (I hadnt) and had a vasectomy. After that I got mightily unimpressed with him.

I never meant to fall inlove again....but when I met someone else, who was also free. Quite frankly....I had no intention of leaving my husband, had met hundreds of nice guys via work but was always faithful as anything and would be astounded if I, of al people were to cheat. Sometimes you meet someone so soulmatish that you just cum on the spot just looking at them. That was my downfall.

People are promiscuious, I wasnt built that way. UNTIL...I met someone that chucked me so far out of my comfortzone that I literally would have died if I couldnt spend time with him and it wasnt my husband. I lost him....he suicided because I told him the truth. After that I couldnt be with the bloke I loved most and my kids suffered as well. Not proud of how it all panned out BUT being single has been an amazing time too.

Some people find that married life gets tedious/repeatative even with the best partner....or find true love later in life....I dont condone cheaters who are just love addicts...they really shouldnt get married after they know their own faults. YOU OP...are exactly how I felt for the first 18 years of my married life.....so disgusted at people who stray. Sex is important, if YOU think it is or your partner thinks it is. With the right person it can be so maddenly uplifting and joyous that you cannot stay away. With others...it can be a chore or masterbating on anothers body. Sex is lovely, with the right person, HEAVENLY even. If you are married to a boring basturd who makes you cringe...it can be a nightmare.

If I could be with someone now...who made me feel loved, and took me to soaring heights, made me laugh, cry and feel joy/cameraderie...I would so marry again. You are right about loveless sex...its boring after a couple of times...degrading after that. Sex doesnt last for minutes/hours....it shapes your mind and happiness. If pushed away..you feel low selfworth, if pused upon too much....you can feel raped. Its only when the lovefilled sex consumes you both equally...and with the feeling that you both care deeply that sex is just another way of saying...I LOVE YOU!

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 13250526

Way to justify your selfish behavior. Please don't ever get married again... because even if you think you found your "soul mate" in your next marriage, you will again find another "soul mate" that you can't stay away from (because of the feeling you think they bring to you), cheat on you current "soul mate" and ruin another person again.

The reality of it is the "soul mate" you are chasing is not human, nor is it from a good source. It is a minion for evil, or the "soul destroyer". Trying to destroy both you and your husbands souls.

Peace.

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28620479

Possibly true....my guilt is such that I dont date or meet anyone.....for the reason you give. Would be a shame if the Lord said....I send you love and you throw it away. Burnt once.....its not happening again. I am old now.....so its unlikely to pass....20 years is a good innings. I love for a very long time...if not a lifetime. How many times can people find true love anyway? 3 times maximum and I've worn out 2.

No I'm trying to understand if sex really is that important and why people value it so much and if jumping from one person to the other really is worth it till you die...

People keep giving me the same reasons, boredom, sex, pleasure, and part of nature, but that isn't enough reason. In the end of the day we find ourselves alone and that's the part that confuses me. Is loneliness worth all the sex partness in the world...

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 20672383

Sex is only as important as the reason you have it.

You should only have sex with the one person it is that you truly love.

If you have meaningless sex; You have a meaningless relationship. Nothing more, nothing less.

Relationships do not make the person, But honesty, companionship, and commitment do.

Most of the people that wrote above are stupid.So what you are really asking is "should I be stupid too"?