Consider Howard Bashman's report in How Appealing that professional courtesy was inexplicably denied to the right arm of one surfing South Florida lawyer. Truth is not stranger than lawyer light-bulb jokes, or Jaws reduced to 30 seconds and played by bunnies (or for that matter, a bunny version of Borat).

News reports say the attack victim is a local prosecutor (fortunately he will recover). There is no truth to the tasteless rumor that two leaked internal White House emails reveal a secret plan by Karl Rove to replace the prosecutor piecemeal. The shark did concede, however, that "bites were made." (In any event, I am confident the attack was performance related, not shark politicization.) No sign of The Fonz on water skis, either. Nor is there any known involvement by Oscar Goldman or Rudy Wells, though it should be noted the injury was to the lawyer's brief-writing hand. Didididi.