Thursday, June 29, 2006

I Think I Wanna Have Your Baby

I'd have Michael Kors' baby and he could pay me in clothes, shoes and accessories for child support.

I'd still have Michael Ealy's baby and he could pay me in child support by acting like Tea Cake from Their Eyes Were Watching God every weekend he picked the baby up for visitation.

I'd have a baby with Tyrese to prevent him from releasing his potentially-God awful rap CD under the name Black Ty.

I'd have Andre 3000's baby and he could pay me in child support by doing a Jay-Z-style-perform-all-of-Aquemini-concert.

I'd have T.I.'s baby and hope for sympathy hunger pains so that he can gain some weight.

I'd have Johnny Gill's baby to dispel all of those gay rumors. Even though gay men have babies all the time. But he'd have to promise not to be gay, and then Id have his baby.

I think about having Van Hunt'sbaby every time my phone rings (Being A Girl is my ringtone).

I'd have Dwele's baby and he could pay me in child support by wearing his hair in an afroat the concert on Friday and at every photo shoot from hereon out.

I'd seriously consider having 50 Cent's baby if he paid me in child support by never rapping again.

Even though they are potentially crack addicted and gay, respectively...I'd go on Maury and have to have a paternity test after crushing lemons with D'Angelo and Maxwell and whoever was the daddy could pay me in child support by releasing a CD every June for the next 15 years.