The ten rules for driving on Pakistan’s roads

It is a funny place this country we call home, most of the time, it is said that every motorists is for himself and after driving through various Parts of Pakistan, I have finally come up with some golden rules which everyone should know. You should memorize these by heart. You can even print them and paste it everywhere so that people can see and benefit from these rules. The traffic police should incorporate these rules in their tests and anyone who doesn’t remember any one of these rules should be banned for life. If you follow these rules you are the DON of the Pakistani roads. No one will dare mess with you. Read, remember and follow these rules!

When uncertain about a situation, Always use the HORN. The louder the better. The car with the loudest ear-drum busting horn has the right to run on the road.

It is acceptable to make a sharp left/right turn across 3 lanes if you suddenly realize you do not need to go through an underpass/road etc. Other vehicles should understand your intentions and “Majbooriz”.

In a road accident, the one with the bike or cheaper vehicle has the people’s sympathy and wins regardless of the situation. If a woman is involved people will always side with her and many “Bhais” will pop up to help her.

Going about 500 meters on wrong way is acceptable if it saves you about one km of traveling or 2 minutes of your life.

Driving without a driving license or drunk driving is fine, if you are the SON of a bureaucrat or your “Chacha” is a well-known political figure.

Bikes/Chingchis/Rickshas are exempted from all laws of the road. They may overtake you from any side and if they scratch your vehicle they are to be exempted because they are “Ghareeb admi”.

At a “Chowk/Chorungi”(Intersection) if you do not move your car 0.01 second after the green light, the drivers before you have the right to HONK and abuse you, even beat you up to a pulp.

If you do not write “Maa ki Dua” behind your car, you will have to be answerable to Allah on the Day of Judgment. Ignore “Baap ka pesa and mehnat”.

It is the responsibility of every boy to stop at a girls college with his speakers on “Amplifier” and mark his presence in front of the girls. It should not be considered immodest and cheap.

A Pedestrian has no right to walk on the road because he/she does not own any form of transport and should be considered the lowest of the lows.

In a parallel world, Mujtaba a.k.a MJ is an avid Environmentalist and a Public Servant. In this realm he is a die hard automotive enthusiast who seeks to create awareness in the minds of the readers and sincerely believes "Tabdeeli aanay hi waali hai :P