75 children in Morgan County need to find new homes

McMinn family added 5 adoptive children

The McMinn family is made up of half biological children and half adopted children. Morgan County has an urgent need for foster and adoptive parents.
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(Editor's note -- This is part 1 of a three-part series on foster care and adoption in Morgan County.)

There are nearly 75 children in need of foster care and/or adoption in Morgan County -- and good foster parents are hard to find.

The McMinn family is a typical American family in many ways, but half of the children are adopted. Like most families in Morgan County, they would like to simplify their lives that are just too busy, they struggle with paying bills every month on time, they are concerned with how their kids will navigate life as adults, and their relationships with each other are always in need of improvement.

On a recent day, the McMinns all dressed up for a birthday lunch in town at their favorite restaurant, then together attended a spring piano recital where four of their children demonstrated well-practiced musical abilities. Contented hearts, joyful attitudes and smiling faces were a successful day's outcome to the hard work of raising a large family.

Area residents might have seen them that day, or another day lining up with a full cart at the grocery store, or trooping in parade-like fashion to attend a livestock show during fair week. They are busy, active, and living life to the fullest with a full house. Their five biological children along with their five adopted children are like most siblings -- they have fun together, they fight with each other, and they share the ups and downs of one another's lives.

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Parenting so many children is a 24/7/365 job for Cary and Shari McMinn, but they see the fruit of their many years of labor in their maturing children.

What makes the McMinn family different, and what they want to encourage other families to consider, is providing care for orphans. In sharing their family's adoption journey, the McMinns hope to encourage other families in the area to help one or more waiting children, so that no child grows up an orphan.

Family life is never smooth and easy, regardless of how many children are in a home. A large family, especially one built through adoption, has additional struggles. The McMinns' adopted children are all labeled "special needs" whether because of learning disabilities, traumatic memories from early childhood, behaviors needing corrective therapy or the loss of living without birth parents.

A variety of racial and ethnic backgrounds compounds the challenges. Time and attention are required to deal with all of these issues, in addition to the normal stuff of parenting like puberty, schoolwork, and social skills.

Cary and Shari McMinn met during their yuppie years at an interior architecture firm in Denver. They were assigned to the same project team and worked together creating designs for upscale hotels and restaurants throughout the U.S. Their working relationship turned into friendship, then romance and marriage, and finally family. After 16 years together, they had six kids, their own business and two properties in an upscale Denver neighborhood. They attended PTA meetings, coached soccer, led mission trips for their church and enjoyed a contented life together in suburbia.

Suddenly without warning, their youngest daughter, 10-month-old Abby, died from a virus while they vacationed with family in the mountains on Christmas Day. Their world turned a dramatic 180 degrees, and life would never be the same. The long process of grief and recovery eventually led them to purchasing a remote farm in northeastern Colorado.

Now, 10 years later and 25 miles from town, they have built a completely different life.

As they began to grow their own food, breathe fresh air and enjoy vast horizons, the deep desire to enlarge their family through adoption began to grow. They contacted a county child welfare unit, and began the process of paperwork and a home study, praying and waiting. A brother and sister became available for placement. Adopted nine years ago into the McMinn family, these two are now teens and have become an integral part of their "forever family."

Six years ago, a trio of siblings came to their farm and never left. Now these five adopted children are tightly bonded brothers and sisters in every way with the McMinns' biological children.

It hasn't been easy or without worry and stress, but it has been a blessing for both the adopted kids and the family who welcomed them. The McMinns agree that adoption is a wonderful thing and want more adults to consider it.

Foster care can be a first step to identifying children who might be a good fit for a family who wants to grow larger through adoption. It takes a willingness to be flexible, put others first, have high expectations but allow for many failures. Perseverance and problem-solving are important qualities for the foster or adoptive family to develop.

Project 127, a faith-based initiative that works with county child welfare departments and private agencies, helps train interested adults to become foster, and potentially adoptive parents.

Project 127 did not exist when the McMinns began the adoption process, but they are big supporters of the program. They believe it is helpful for the CORE training required by the State of Colorado for all foster and adoptive parents, to be taught from a Christian worldview as Project 127 does, including alternative discipline for inappropriate behavior, as well as addressing mental health and emotional issues from a Christian perspective.

"When we began to consider adoption, we felt like lone rangers - not much support in our extended family and social circles, including our church," said Shari. "Project 127 helps parents identify a supportive circle of friends and family, providing training to that support system so others know how to reach out and increase the odds for kids and families to have success with foster care and adoption."

Cary agrees, "Foster care and adoption are much more successful if you have praying and supportive friends and family, whose desire to help are rooted in a strong faith, and they come alongside your family through the ups and downs of life."

Not all are called to adopt, but many are needed to encourage and assist the family who does decide to add children to their household through foster care and/or adoption. Whether through prayer, respite care, financial assistance, donating services or bringing occasional meals, families need to know that others care about orphans, and their choice to become a forever family.

The McMinns suggest that if each church in Morgan County helped at least one family in their congregation with adoption, there would be no "waiting children" in our community.

For more information on foster care, adoption, or Project 127, contact Sharon Ruyle, Foster Care Recruiter and Coordinator for the Morgan County Department of Human Services, 970.542.3530 ext. 1540.

(Editor's note -- Watch for more Foster Care Month features in The Fort Morgan Times. One of the stories is about how to become a foster parent.)

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