Box Office Recap: It’s The Biggest Memorial Day Weekend In Hollywood History

It’s safe to say that as long as Vin Diesel and Paul Walker want to keep accepting paychecks to play VROOM VROOM and whatever else their Point Break with cars series has warped into, there will be Fast and Furious movies to look forward to each summer. That’s because Fast & Furious 6 led the charge at the box office this weekend for the biggest four-day holiday performance in history.

According to Deadline, the Top 6 films combined to earn $323 million at the U.S. box office this weekend, with Fast 6 finishing in first place by pulling in $120 million to add to its $197 million foreign earnings. That’s a $317 million global opening for a movie about VEHICULAR WARFARE, so get ready for Fast & Furious 7: Truckasaurus’ Revenge, Fast & Furious 8: Oh Snap, It’s The Transformers and Fast & Furious 9: Nah, It’s Just The Gobots (Diesel and Walker won’t appear because of contract problems).

Those will ultimately lead to Fast & Furious Finale: The Race 4 Space, starring Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, The Rock, Jason Statham, Ludacris, Jay-Z, President Obama, Kim Jong-Un, Kate Upton, the Ultimate Warrior, Jackie Chan, Will Ferrell, Spongebob, an animated chainsaw voiced by Lil Jon, and Rihanna as Cthulhu. It will, of course, be written and directed by Danger Guerrero.

Not many other surprises to be had this week, except Before Midnight drawing crowds of eager hipsters at all five showings to earn $64,400 per screen.

If anything, the biggest surprise is that Pain and Gain has only earned $48 million in the U.S. Looks like lobsters stuffed with tacos in Michael Bay’s dining room will be marinated with tears this month.