Bernie Ecclestone has succeeded in his objective to bring the people of Bahrain together – by uniting them in their shared indifference towards millionaire playboys in bright coloured helmets.

The Force India team was caught up in a protest as angry rioters failed to care in the slightest when their vehicle was almost hit by petrol bombs yesterday.

One protestor confirmed, “We don’t deny that there are bigger underlying issues in our country, but for one weekend we’re able to come together to show just how little we care about uber-rich Westerners driving fast cars in a circle for two hours.”

“Ecclestone might believe we’d be more concerned about Sebastian Vettel and Lewis Hamilton being held up by backmarkers, but I’m sure that there isn’t one Bahraini who gives even the tiniest of shits.”

“It’s actually given us something to bond over.”

Bahrain Grand Prix

Force India driver Nico Hulkenberg reacted angrily to the decision to go ahead with the Grand Prix after he realised just how indifferent the public are.

“The officials assured us that coming here would make us heroes as Bahrain’s love of F1 would overcome the civil unrest they’ve been experiencing for a year or more.”

“They also mentioned something about the race bringing in shed loads more cash but that doesn’t matter to any of us of course.”

“Me and the other drivers are outraged that we are seemingly unable to bring peace to the region and must instead make millions and millions and millions out of it, just like always.”