~ Leaving Melbourne for somewhere else.

You’re afraid of what you need.

We are all of us afraid of what is good for us and the few that do actually do something about it deserve our greatest respect. Without being too generalist I think it would be pretty truthful to say that there are at least ten things, if not more, that we could each do in our daily lives to improve our lot.

I for one am vainly attempting to eliminate the demon ciggies from my life for the umpteenth time and that’s only the tip of the proverbially endangered iceberg. What do I care if I die a few years early, assuming that is I will make it at least to my 60’s or 70’s, if I’m not happy or fulfilled. What irks me is that I may finally figure out my job of choice and then I’ll kick the bucket. It’ll be like that line out of Monty Python’s ‘The Holy Grail’…I’m not dead yet, no seriously I’ve just figured out the answer to life, the universe and everything and it’s not 42. It’s everything in moderation, including moderation! That cheesy coffee mug was right.

The real question is what will give you that ‘full as the last bus home’ feeling in the back of your mind or wherever it is that it tends to reside in people who live fulfilling and rewarding lives. Perhaps it’s the something that envelopes one on a daily basis as you go about your daily grind? Perhaps the grass is always greener no matter how content one is. Perhaps it is all relative depending on what one considers as being fulfilled or achieving the full realisation of one’s abilities.

Secondly, I am also cleaning up my act in regards to what goes in my belly. As an ex-chef and present lover of good, but not pathetically MasterWank food I have no excuses when it comes to this. I have always appreciated good food but have also settled for the old maxim of ‘any port in a storm’ when it comes to late night junk food. How many people do you know that actually poison themselves on a daily basis with mass produced detritus?

Imagine what’s going on in their mind’s? ‘I know this KFC bucket of mutilated and abused chicken is bad for me an’ the kids but… I can’t cook. I’d love to eat some of that healthy food that Madonna eats but how do I afford it? They don’t even sell it round here.’ They know they shouldn’t be scoffing down the Colonel’s less than secret recipe of fat, sugar and salt (the holy trinity of obesity) but the alternative is just too fucking hard.

Thirdly, we are constantly barraged with messages and propaganda to steer us in a certain direction that will yield profits for share holders living the life of Reilly with a personal chef cooking their organic quinoa and free range liberty. Have a look at all the billboards beside the freeways and tell me you really need what they are selling. You don’t need this, and that’s a no brainer.

Fourthly, oh fuck it. Let’s dispense with the numbering system and cut to the nesquik.

What we need is a return to living the life of your granny. Heaps of hard graft, world wars, global influenza pandemics, sudden unexplained death, cocaine readily available at the pharmacy, child slavery(like it ever went away), indentured slavery(ditto), peace love and happiness. Well obviously there’s a few faults with the old days. Was there ever a utopian existence for humans? The good old days are only the good old days because we choose to forget about the rape, starvation and brutality of them all. There have always been slaves, wars, famine and poverty as long as humans have been around. It is part and parcel of mother nature’s handbook for living. It’s what makes for a well rounded existence.

On the other hand perhaps people who maintain that they lead fulfilling and rewarding lives are just compulsive liars with gigabytes of dirty secrets just waiting to be downloaded.

We are truly terrified of what we need. Imagine a world where we couldn’t lie around on the couch all day and watch Judge Judy but had to toil in the fields or chop wood or some other chores just as pastoral. I’m beginning to see an ad for Alpen in my mind. Imagine going to bed when it gets dark? Get fucked! I’d much rather watch Game of Thrones instead. Imagine everybody walking to walk and working up a sweat straight after their daily bowl of porridge? Imagine not sitting around all day eating High Fructose Corn Syrup poison topped with trans fats and sodium chloride? Imagine actually knowing what goes into the food that you put in your mouth?

The truth is we all know, well at least most of us do who can lead by example, what is good for us but it’s just too damn easy to do something else instead, and it’s way uncool also unless you live in organic hipsterville with a biomass converter in the back yard. .

Would you go organic if you could afford it? Would you hire a private chef to make healthy meals for you if you could afford?

Does organic make any difference?

Would you hire the finest intellectuals in your area to provide stimulating after dinner conversation and reflection if you could afford it?

Of course you would. Well I wouldn’t think twice if I had the cash. I think I’d actually do the cooking myself and then buy a big dog that needs a 5k walk every day instead and walk off my dinner with Alain de Botton and some fine conversation.

But, would you do any of the above things if you had to do it yourself? Learn to cook and think and exercise? That’s the hard bit.

Imagine learning to think? Isn’t that what school was/is for?

At the end of the day it’s time to turn off the light and harden the fuck up?

We are a lazy bunch of under achieving homosapiens being lead by over achieving marketers, advertisers, spin doctors and lying politicians all afraid of losing their jobs and thus willing to do anything to stay gainfully employed and up there in the higher echelons of thieving and graft.

What was the point of this ranticle? Not quite sure but I feel immeasurably better that it is out there in the ether where it can do some good and not in me where it was just causing indigestion.

Remember, once you start changing your stupid lazy ways it will slowly get easier and before you know it you’ll swear that you never did anything different. Lemon juice and water for breakfast followed by porridge and blueberries and then pilates and quinoa’n’goji berry salad for lunch. Don’t be afraid, be brave and eat your wheat germ with extra philosophy on top.

If I have depressed you please click the youtube link above, crank the volume, turn the lights off and wave your arms in the air.

You’ll feel a whole lot better I guarantee it.

If that doesn’t work try the link below. You can’t really go wrong with David Byrne and Brian Eno.