About Me

Wife to Greg, mom to 7, and grandma to 3! Welcome to a glimpse of our life. It is a place where chaos abounds, tears are shed regularly, laughter is inevitable, and family is EVERYTHING!!!! Everyday is about the choices we make. Let's choose today to be different. To live for him. To find joy in the little stuff. To worry less and to love more. To be who he created us to be. This blog is about my daily "choices" along the way. Won't you join me? It will be a wild ride. But, as I always tell my kids I once heard it said "there ain't no high like the most!”

Friday, September 30, 2011

I just love using big words! I know you have all been waiting with bated breath to read this.....yeah right. But humor me because I am excited and here is what I have been working on.....

The first diet and exercise book that has very little with diet and exercise. It is a book about finding peace with our bodies and discovering our beautiful. If at the end we are thinner then great but that is not the only goal. The goal is to be healthy, happy women deseprately in love with Jesus. We will learn some good tips along the way but most importantly we will discover the beauty that lies within each of us.

We will make peace with our not so hour glass figure and we will finally realize that being thin does not necessarily equal happiness. I have been a size 2 and I have been a size 12 and everything in between. And to be honest I have been miserable at a size 2 and I have been miserable at a size 12. I have been fed so many lies about what beautiful is and I spent years trying to achieve unnattainable goals. To be honest I don't know if I am too old or what but I am done with it! And you can be too!

In the next few days I will be sharing more about the book and also asking for input. I am deciding on a title and will share more about that later also. I asked on my Facebook how people would define beautiful and I got many interesting responses. I would love to hear your response to that same question.

Going to Baltimore this weekend to see Beth Moore so I will be back on her on Sunday or Monday.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

I am embarrassed to admit my kids are all still in bed. Shouldn't I be homeschooling and baking bread or something???

Instead I am sitting at my computer daydreaming. It is what I do best. I remember having the most vivid imagination as a child. At least that's how I am remembering it which considering I can't remember to wake my children up and homeschool I could be a little off but anyway.....I am going with the vivid imagination memory today so just humor me.

I loved to write when I was little and make up stories. I remember writing my first "book" and illustrating it using my neatest handwriting. The entire thing rhymed and I remember until it was over being exhausted trying to find words that rhymed with Bob.

When it was complete I made a cover for it and read it to my family. I don't recall too many times that my dad took an interest in what I was doing but this book he loved. He told me it was very good and he was proud of me.

I have since searched through my things at my parents and I can't find my first literary masterpiece but it has been a dream of mine to write another book(rest assured there will be no characters by the name of Bob). I know I have shared briefly here about this before but just like many other dreams and aspirations it gets pushed aside just waiting for the right moment that I have just the right words.

I started thinking about dreams today and wondered what really stops us from living them out? Am I afraid to write because of fear of rejection or because I might not really have anything more to offer other than a short story about Bob and his friend Rob? I don't know but I am tired of talking about making choices but not really making any. Doing nothing towards a goal is choosing to never live up to our full potential and trust God for the rest.

So with that said I am choosing today to write my first e-book. There I said it. I have much of it written I just need to spend a little (a lot) of time reorganizing it. I would love to involve you all in the process (ok I need to know is anybody out there....stats say there are but I don't see any comments:)

I will share my struggles over the next few weeks. I will ask questions and hope to get some answers. I will share a synopsis tomorrow(Oh yes I did just go to dictionary.com to be sure that was the right word....what in the world am I thinking writing a book. I really don't know much more than when to color my roots or how to rhyme Rob and Bob).

So stay tuned....I know you are all probably on the edge of your seat....NOT! But I am excited. Dreams are good. Goals are healthy. It is time we start walking this thing out instead of waiting for the perfect moment. There are not perfect moments in this world....just imperfect people serving a perfect God.

On a totally unrelated note I am desperately trying to get to the Relevant 11 conference so if anyone knows of any tickets out there PLEASE let me know and if you would join me in praying that if God is willing He will make a way for me to go. Your prayers are ALWAYS appreciated:)

Thursday, September 22, 2011

I waver between continuing to homeschool my children feeling passionate about what that means to me and putting them in school. Maybe they would be smarter. Maybe they are missing out.

I waver between doing what is right feeling passionate about Jesus Christ and wanting to just be a "carnal" christian doing what I want when I want but keeping my ticket to heaven. Maybe the grass is greener somewhere else. Maybe I would be happier if I could just do what I want to do because maybe for girls like me that's all there is.

I waver between contentment and dissatisfaction. Maybe I should have a nicer house. Maybe I should have more money.

I waver between wanting an education that leads to a fulfilling career and staying here where I know I belong and cleaning up another mess. Maybe I am smarter than all of this. Maybe I would then feel full.

I could sit here all night sharing all the different scenarios. It is endless. I have tossed back and forth for more years than I am willing to share at this point. Today as I felt pulled in different directions and I once again felt torn between one direction and another(picture devil on one shoulder and angel on the other) I kept going back to the truth.

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. ~Isaiah 26:3

I blasted the worship music. I prayed. I went for a walk alone(not even a cell phone).

As I sit here I want to type that all is ok now and that if you follow those steps you too will be just fine.

I would be lying.

I am still listening to the worship music.

I am still praying begging God to bring me that "perfect" peace that I still do not feel.

Yet I know that my feelings always lead me the wrong direction and that they will change..... eventually and just as sure as the changing tide of the ocean I will feel stronger. Just not right this moment but I know He is faithful. I know that deliverance isn't always immediate but it does come. I know that desperation though a very scary place can be a very sweet place where I feel Him the most.

Maybe you know where I am today. Do what I did. Write down what you know and even though your feelings don't change immediately cling only to that truth.

I must say I have been loving it. It is teaching this girl who is usually moving faster than the spin cycle on the washing machine to SLOW down. I am pouring over just one verse a day but that one verse can teach me and fill me and change me. It has been awesome.

The first three verses I have studied this week so far talked about how John wants to proclaim what he has seen, heard, and touched....the Word of Life(Jesus). He is proclaiming it so that others too can fellowship with in in this truth.

I felt convicted to also proclaim what I have seen and heard and touched regarding the Word of Life. It is so easy to get busy and forget that there is a lost and desperate world that needs to hear the message and be brought into fellowship with me and other believers.

It has been my prayer that God would not only open my eyes to all the ways He is speaking to me this week but that I would look around me for those who need to hear my testimony. Just because Christ never stood physically in front of us does NOT mean we don't have ways to testify about what we have seen, heard, and touched.

I was also thankful that right here is testimony of someone who did physically see Christ. We don't need to ever doubt or question.

His Word is so rich. Why don't you open your Bible right now and drink in the richness of just one verse. Slow down. Breathe it in. Bask in its beauty. Be changed.

Monday, September 19, 2011

I started a new Bible study with Good Morning Girls on 1 John. I am so excited. It was a beautiful morning to just sit and soak in His word.

That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched--this we proclaim concerning the Word of life. ~ 1 John 1:1

I pray that we would all hear Him, see Him, and touch Him today because He is the Word of life. Nothing else will ever fill us or satisfy our every longing. NOTHING! No matter what circumstance we find ourselves in He is there to be heard, seen, and touched. We are never alone. He always was and He always will be. Hallelujah!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

As the well worn Bible lay in my lap a tear fell and splashed the page. Once again His Word had leapt off the page and into my heart penetrating right down to the marrow of my bones. The pain I was feeling started to dissipate and the flood of peace washed over me like cool breeze in the heat of summer. It never fails.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Much of what I share in my reply I got from years of encouragement given to me by my dear friend Bonni Greiner.

Here is my reply:

I feel like there are many times over the last 12 years of homeschooling that I could have written your exact post.....so rest assured your questions are normal, what you feel is normal, and I promise your kids will turn out:)

With that said, I have prayed each year and each year looked very different. There were years that I had 2 middle school girls that we just adopted and then there were the years that I had 3 babies in 4 years while schooling the older 4 children. I have graduated 3 of them. They survived. I survived. We have used "box" curriculum, unit studies, cyber school and co-ops. Every year was different. Every child was different. This year I have a junior in high school, a 6th grader, a 4th grader, and a 2nd grader.

I felt God calling me this year to really focus on serving and so our curriculum looks very different. I use BJU math and Houghton Mifflin Reading for the younger 2. I use calvert math and a character based literature program for my 6th grader. I am using the coolest history from Homeschool in the Woods called Time Travelers History. We are reading and drawing the book of Proverbs this year. We are looking for opportunities to serve and doing a ton of reading about those less fortunate than us. This is the year I want their world to expand beyond our front door. I want their hearts to start opening up to the things that break God's heart.

It is ok to experiment and find out what works for your family. It is ok to use part of a curriculum and to supplement. It is ok to trash a curriculum a month after you start it. If it doesn't work the first month what makes us think it will work the rest of the year???? We need to get beyond the idea that we bought so we have to use it all and just use what works. We need to discern what is working and move on if its not.

We feel A LOT of pressure to "keep up" with everyone around us. Satan loves to taunt us by having us focus on others success and our own failures. One thing that has helped me tremendously has been to make a list of what I want my child to learn and when I am tempted to feel panic I go back to that list. It looks something like this:

This isn't the whole list but you get the idea. Very little to do with actual curriculum. Beth Moore just said in her simulcast this weekend "If you have a heart to do God's will He is not going to hide it from you". He won't hide it from our kids. He gifted them and has specific work for them. The best thing we can do is remind them of this daily and pray the heavens down over them.

I am not saying that academics is not important. It is. Especially if it has something to do with what God calls them to. I have just learned over the years of having self doubt and bawling my eyes out regularly that I am just not big enough to mess God up:)

Wow.....that was a long comment. Probably more than you bargained for:) I hope I helped and didn't confuse the topic even more for you! Hang on because it is a wild ride but it is a fast ride. You might not feel that way most days but the next thing you know you wake up and that child is grown. Be blessed. I will pray for you:)

Sometimes we just need to encourage someone else to be reminded ourselves....funny how that works.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

So today my hubby and I have actually made it to the 20 year point....I say actually made it because it has not been easy(mostly due to the fact that I am not easy to live with:)

I thought I would make a list of 20 things about my hubby:

1. You are handsome.....nobody believes that I am actually 7 years YOUNGER

2. You are sweet

3. You are the best "gift buyer" I know

4. You are creative and should have been a photographer

5. You are the best breakfast maker

6. You are a great dad

7. You are a great friend

8. You are a great coach

9. You are committed 100% to anything you do

10. You are smart....nobody could beat you at "one hit wonders"

11. You are friendly....You are my extrovert who married this introvert

12. You are strong

13. You are wise

14. You are helpful

15. You have a heart for God

16. You are the coupon King and could "out save" any woman I know

17. You are loving

18. You are the best snuggler

19. You are a gift from God

20. You are a man of your word.....20 years ago you promised to love me in sickness and health and in poorness and wealth and never once have you gone back on that promise.

I love you!

I hope this post finds you all happily married but if not if you are struggling never forget God is a God of miracles. I know this for a fact. It is a miracle that I celebrate the milestone that I celebrate today. Just keep praying and pressing hard into God. He is the one and only one that can redeem marriages and turn them into something beautiful.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Doctor: You don't have skin cancer. Mrs. Grove you just have age spots and sun spots caused by age and too many years in the sun.

Me: What? Me? Didn't I just graduate from high school and get married??? Didn't I just stand here in this very same office surrounded by little ones? I am not old enough for "age" spots.

And this is the conversation that I had with the doctor.

When did I start aging? When did that baby boy of mine grow up graduate, and start working towards a career as a chef? Don't I still sit at every one of his hockey games with baited breath as he nears the goal and don't I still stand up ready to run out onto the rink when he gets hit by a puck and goes down?

And so it goes. Time keeps marching on. I can't stop it. I can't go back. And obviously by the gray hair in my head and the lovely "age" spots on my face I can't even hide it very well.

I know just like anything else I have a choice.

I can embrace it or I can fight it. I can live with purpose today or just think about starting tomorrow. Either way the clock ticks.

No matter what I do time isn't going to stop and wait for me to choose. I guess that's where I am today. On the eve of my 20th....yes you read that right...20th wedding anniversary I am contemplating life. My purpose. I am evaluating how I have been doing lately and I am planning for a better tomorrow.

Won't you join me. Let's be women who live each minute with purpose.

Intentional living.

You see it is so easy to get caught in the trap of waiting until tomorrow. But when we do that we waste today. And not only that my today will profoundly effect my tomorrow. Even if I do nothing it effects tomorrow because tomorrow will just turn into another today lived out without purpose.

I have lived the last year like this. Sorta in denial. Sorta just wondering through life. Satan loved it, God grieved over it, and I am sick to death of it. I am setting some goals, getting some accountability, taking some risks, and learning to live again.

If you are struggling right now don't be afraid because desperation has been the sweetest gift for me. Let me know where you are and if you need prayer. It would be an honor to hear from you and do this journey together.