Sunday, October 26, 2008

A small resolution to be invisible no more.I figure I could write a poem and be indirect about all this, but I'd rather not to today.

But I may have stated this, I dunno. I don't think anyone from my ward really reads this, if they do, they haven't said anything. Anyways, usually, like nights like this, I feel invisible in the ward. It may have to do with having just received a calling a few weeks before that after being a year in the ward when my new roommates had received a calling before I did.It may have to do with that that my roommates have already given a talk in Sacrament, but I haven't given a talk since I got off my mission a year and three months ago.It may have to do with the fact that I am still struggling to get to know ward members and be their friend, while other new people are getting along great with those in the ward. Not that it is a bad thing, that is god that they are getting along.

But it has occasionally left me with a feeling of invisibility. I could blame them for not noticing me, and not being more outgoing.I could also revert to how I viewed myself before as a social geek, super awkward and stew over that a lot. But I'm not.I've gone done that path of self-hate introspection, and I don't care to do it again. It's not a fun journey, let me tell you that. (And no, this isn't meant to make you pity me or anything. Unless pity can be converted to gold. Then I'll take all the pity you can give me.)Nor can I blame them, it's not their fault if I haven't gone out of my way to say hi or to step out of my comfort zone. I think I am just to lazy and expect all social things to fall at my feet instead of calling people up to hang out and the like.Anyways, back to the point. I am making a resolution to be more outgoing, to be less shy, to go out of my way to say hello, be friendly and to hang out more. This includes less texting and more calling. (I sent and received well over 1000 texts this past month...)

So I'd like to take a moment to thank you for allowing this break in randomness. If you're in my ward and read this, talk to me. For everyone else, feel free to comment, say hi. The blog feels all alone. It's too quiet, and not even Weird Al can heal the wounds caused by the failure to comment or mask the cries of lonliness. Blogs have feelings too you know. So stop being so cold hearted, and comment. If not for my sake, but for the blogs sake. You know, before the blog goes and attacks other blogs' code. We need to prevent another disaster.

So while you consider the the implications of a bloggicidal Blog, here is a message from our sponsors: Cheese! It comes from cows!