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To Change the World

I wrote If nearly 4 years ago, a very idealistic girl that wanted to make a difference. Perhaps I wasn't being too idealistic, but not idealistic enough.

As I was reading this article from Relevant Magazine, I was reminded of how God has fulfilled my childhood fantasies in His good time.

" It wasn’t for some dream. It wasn’t for some great idea. It was for Him and for His name and for whatever it was He wanted to do through me here."

This was not what I would say even 2 years ago when I first wanted to become a social worker. I wanted to change lives, to impact youths and have them glorify me by saying that I was their turning point.

"I think that’s a really important difference, because if we make it about the dream, we’ll try to control the dream and we’ll put our identity in the dream and we will have to have the dream work or we’ll be miserable. But if you say, “You know what? I’m here, God, to take whatever You’ve given me and to display You in whatever way You want.” And you just kind of have this open-handedness, then you stick to something, not because you believe in the thing but because you believe that God’s worth it."

This was and sometimes still is so true of me. Putting my identity in CASA, I was so stressed out and didn't enjoy thinking about this ministry which I started out of a broken heart that most probably pleased God. Praise God for pouring grace upon grace, hope upon hope, strength upon strength.

I wrote in my previous post that my childhood dream is resurrected. Yes, the social enterprise dream. I wanted to set up a social enterprise bakery. Last Sunday, I became a stakeholder of social enterprise Believe NJ bakery. I will be involved in the business, helping to start a new cafe and grow the social impact. Initially I was hesitant to take it up. Yet, listening to Nicole speak with such passion, my heart was stilled and I became sure. Not of my capabilities, but of how I want to minister to this group of people.

Through Sidewalk Gallery Cafe, and then Believe NJ and now the Special Seeds dialogue for parents of children with special needs, I look back and marvel at God's work in and through me. So many times I have wearied and felt like I have nothing to give anymore, yet Abba sustained me.

"But I think with all things, you kind of just stick to your road, keep your hands open, and keep saying, “God, I’m willing. I’m willing for this to fail.” "

I prayed.

I come to You with open hands Lord. An image of a child's open hands.He takes me into His hand, and leads me on.