In my last post, I mentioned that there is a body of research about the continuing presence of deceased loved ones, termed After Death Communication (ADC). The consensus of the literature is that the different forms of communication and contact are profoundly comforting and reassuring to the bereaved.

ADCs include intuiting the presence of the deceased, awareness of a touch, smelling a scent, hearing a voice, having a vivid dream, and/or seeing the deceased. It is estimated that over fifty million people have had such an experience, but many are hesitant to share these reconnections for fear of judgment and misunderstanding. Statistics can be a powerful source of confirmation, but individuals who have experienced the dream that is beyond vivid, or have heard the comfort of words from their deceased loved are convinced that their experience was real and not a hallucination. The sense of peace and comfort from these spontaneous connections happen at any time during or after death, and have been reported immediately or years after a death.

The more we openly discuss and share these experiences, the more we will come to accept the extraordinary as ordinary and normal. As with the subject of death, when we bring it out of the closet and into the light, we remove the stigma, myths, and fears surrounding the subject. We open ourselves to lessons that enhance our ability to live in the world. It is important to explore the phenomenon primarily because when discussed, it allows our grief to be expressed in healthy ways and transformed. We come to find new meaning in our loss, and gain comfort in a different, but on-going, relationship with the deceased.

The messages may be unique and the meaning is personal, but there is general consensus that the over-arching purpose of the message is to comfort and reassure. Many report that the “take-away” message was that there is a grander meaning to life beyond what we know when we are alive. The interpretation that their loved ones continue to be with them in spirit, and that they will one day be reunited is a powerful remedy to the feelings of hopelessness and abandon in grief. The verbal or non-verbal communications are received to mean “I’m okay”; “I’m with you”; “I love you”; “Everything is fine”; and “I will see you again”.

ADCs are the single-most important intervention that relieves the suffering of grief. The literature and my own research with the bereaved whose children, parents, spouses, siblings, and friends have died concludes that these communications must be shared, validated, and utilized in grief work. The ADC experience can change the painful intensity and duration of one’s grief into a softer acceptance of change. In other words, the communication from the deceased and its meaning to the bereaved transforms suffering into healing.

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Ashotep 13,706

I've had dreams about dead relatives before and I am wondering if they were trying to comunicate with me or was it just a dream. They always had a message for me. If I had not seen a ghost once I would say they were just dreams but now I don't know.