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Amazing DNA

A few months ago, my first cousin, Ashley Armistead, received a message on his answer phone. The caller said he didn’t want anything and to please not hang up. As it turned out, the caller had gotten results from his DNA test and, in a roundabout way through Ancestry.com, Ashley’s name (along with others) showed up. When others he got in touch with or tried to contact came to a dead end, the next on his list was to call Ashley. Jeff, the caller, explained that his father (who was deceased) had not known who his real father was. Jeff wanted to know who his grandfather was. Early on, he sent a picture of himself and our first reaction was shock. He was definitely one of us. It was like looking at the face of another of our first cousins. No doubt, he was an Armistead!

Ashley had his DNA test done, got in touch with me, and I also had mine done. While we waited for results, we tracked back our family tree. It appeared that my father was Jeff’s grandfather. The years and locations all seemed to fit. Meanwhile, since Ashley and Jeff lived close by, they decided to meet up for lunch. I wish I could have been there.

We all continued to be in touch, and I started a Facebook page for all 5 of the cousins where we shared discovered photos, docs, and information. The only photograph of our paternal grandfather is on that site. We knew nothing about him. Our fathers never spoke of him. As we traced back our heritage, he began to appear. For the first time, we were learning something about who our grandfather was and what he looked like, where he lived, what he did, and where he died and is buried. And that meant Jeff was learning about his great-grandfather and his grandfather.

When Ashley and I got our DNA results, we were in for another surprise. Jeff’s grandfather was not my dad, but rather Ashley’s dad. We have all looked at this as an awesome discovery. Jeff was worried his sudden appearance in the family tree might cause a problem. It has not! Actually, I was a little disappointed to find out my father wasn’t Jeff’s grandfather. I’m an only child and would have loved to have had a half brother (Jeff’s father). But Ashley is also an only child and was just as delighted to find out he had a half-brother (though deceased) and now, Jeff, his nephew! He is proud to be called Uncle Ashley, and I am happy to be Jeff’s second cousin.

When the dust settled, the cousins decided to rent a house at the beach in NC like our parents did when we were young (well, except for Jeff’s parents). We (the cousins who’d known each other all their lives) hadn’t seen each other in years, though we kept in touch through Facebook and Christmas cards…the typical long-distance communications. We, including the new cousin, met in April in Duck, NC, which is in the Outer Banks (the locals call it OBX). What a grand time we had reminiscing about growing up, our escapades, and our parents’ antics. Our laughs were hearty and sincere, and some moments of quiet sentimentality bubbled up. The icing on the cake was meeting our new relative, Jeff and his wife.

How fortunate we are to live in this day and age of social media and DNA. Through our research (which is often like going down a rabbit hole) amazing historical information has given texture to our past. The Armistead, Madison, and Stainback lineages are rich in legacy and birthright, and we have a lot to be proud of. I have found the process intriguing, worthwhile, and rewarding.

The FIVE (the 5 cousins) just booked our next meeting to take place in Cape Coral, Florida. My husband, Tommy, and I are the only Floridians. The other four are from NC and VA and welcome the chance to get away from the cold for a short time to reunite with family. I don’t believe as a young person I could have appreciated the profoundness of these recent events as I do now. As a youngster you are dreaming of your future, not dwelling on your past nor wondering who were your phantom ancestors. That comes with age when there are more years in your past than in your future. But adventure doesn’t disappear with age. This has certainly been a moving journey.

Comments

Oh Lynn, what a great story this is! I have just received my Ancestry DNA kit and will send it back on Monday. I have several friends who have found family. Do you ever watch Long Lost Family on TLC? I cry all the way through each episode. Enjoy this new journey. Love you, Jeanne

Lynn, I love that you and your cousins found an unknown relative and that The Five were able to reunite and get to know each other as adults. The fact that you will be able to continue these reunions is so wonderful. Thank you for sharing and I really would like you to write a book about this journey and include all the history of your phantom ancestors. I am truly intrigued!!

Lynne,
How exciting! I’ve been toying with this idea as both my parents were said to be only children. But my maternal grandfather was not in our lives and I wonder if I too have some cousins out there. Thanks for sharing! Have fun!
Gail