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Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the State Fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, "Martha, I'd like to ride in that airplane." And every year Martha would say, "I know, Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."

This one year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said, "Martha, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance."

The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars."

Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they go. The pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard. He does all his tricks over again, but still not a word.

They land and the pilot turns to Stumpy, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."

How about when I was a little kid and another little kid told me the first dirty joke I ever heard. I'll tell it just as I recall him telling it:

A 4 year old boy was taking a shower with his dad. The boy said, "Daddy, what's that?" He said, "It's my nerve." Then later the boy was outside playing and a heavy woman walked by. He said, "Wow you're fat!" She said, "You have some nerve!" He said, "If you think I've got a big nerve you oughta see my dad's!"

Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. “In the last 15 races, I’ve won 8 of them!”
Another horse breaks in, “Well in the last 27 races, I’ve won 19!!”
“Oh that’s good, but in the last 36 races, I’ve won 28!” says another, flicking his tail.
At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there.
“I don’t mean to boast,” says the greyhound, “but in my last 90 races, I’ve won 88 of them!”
The horses are clearly amazed. “Wow!” says one, after a hushed silence. “A talking dog.”