The would-be president of France, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, is preparing not only to be freed from the shackles of house arrest, but in addition to have all charges of sexual assault against him to be dropped. The tables are turned; accusations are raining down on 32 black female maid who ignited this controversy. The drama at hand, as was reported originally, was Strauss-Kahn chased her through the hotel and attempted to prevent her from leaving while sexually assaulting her, where she worked and where he was staying. It is now revealed the maid’s credibility has been corrupted beyond reform and her allegations are warped. One of the most hated, and most powerful men, in the world will walk without a trial. Legally, this is righteous; morally they are both depraved.

Who is Accusing Who (of What)?

The maid’s original accusations made headlines around the world and derailed Strauss-Kahn’s march towards the presidency of France. The man, who was entrusted with billions and billions of dollars from around the world for what was supposed to be one of the leading foundations for good of humanity, was accused of committing one of the worst offenses conceivable; rape. Investigators were able to independently prove that sexual intercourse, most likely forceful, did indeed happen between the two media sensations. After escaping the maid contacted the authorities.

Strauss-Kahn insists that his only crime was being narcissistically conceited; allegedly she willingly agreed to having sex, and was the one who initiated the encounter. Problems arose with his minimal, or nonexistent, payment, which infuriated the maid. It would be assumed that she then sought legal action in hopes to hit the financial jackpot and make off with millions. If this is true the American justice department has severely mishandled the case, along with several media services who are being sued by Strauss-Kahn for liability. It is becoming increasingly evident that not only is the former head of the IMF telling the truth and the maid has been spreading deceit.

Why is the Maid’s Credibility Dubious?

The first issue with the accuser is her profession. During the day she works at the hotel Sofitel, during the night she regularly prostitutes herself. She falls from the pedestal of victim to the harsh reality of being a greedy streetwalker utilizing her position as a maid to pry open new markets.

The second issue was her immigration status. Her story was that she her family was killed and she was gang banged in her native country of Guinea. She fled to the United States and received political asylum using this facade. Now it is unraveling; her entire story is false. She is not even from Guinea.

Strauss-Kahn has had his bail drastically reduced and is no longer on house arrest because the prosecutions only witness is completely fallible and the case has become an international catastrophe. It is likely the maid will at best serve several years in prison, and at worst be deported back to her real native country. This terrible case, which wrecked and traumatized the chief combatants, pained all close relations, and unsettled the international financial community because of one woman’s drive for money and the media’s willingness to incriminate for sensationalism. There is but one moral to take from this debacle: everyone who is accused, even devils like Casey Anthony, are innocent until proved guilty.

The international consequences of the Nuclear Powder Keg that threatens Japan have spanned the globe, protests have cropped up around the world as all governments scrutinize their own nuclear reactors. Many of these demonstrations numbered in the tens of thousands as petulant environmentalists and myopic citizens called for a swift end to the nuclear power, ignoring that without nuclear power the world would grow dark.

Where are the Protests?

Berlin, Germany and Stuttgart, Germany have the largest demonstrations with 100,000 protesters.

Meanwhile major protests rocked France, a country that runs on over 80% nuclear power. French officials remain unrelenting defenders of French nuclear power, with an impeccable record of having no major or minor meltdowns. In addition they are joining all European Union nations is stress testing their nuclear reactors.

The nuclear industry has not been negatively impacted by the Japanese disaster.

Construction of new nuclear reactors has continued despite the wave of protesters calling for reevaluation of power options. Canada has decided to continue with a nuclear reactor in Vancouver. Russia and Belarus have just announced signing a nine billion dollar deal that will lead to construction of a nuclear power plant in Belarus, adding their first nuclear reactor to supplement traditional sources. It is collectively agreed that the Japanese Nuclear Powder Keg is a perfect example the danger of nuclear powers; in addition many claim that since there has not been a full meltdown that humanity is successfully defeated the worst nature can dish out.

Fossil fuels are running dry while wind, solar, and hydrogen cannot support the demand; Nuclear power is necessary for the modern world. 14% of all power produced in the world is produced by nuclear reactors. In addition, the most dangerous sources of power continue to be coal and oil; hundreds of workers die each year in explosions and collapses. There has only been one major nuclear disaster in history, Chernobyl, a disaster that could have been easily prevented or mitigated. The only problem in this tragic disaster was human failings.

In order to progress into the future humanity will need nuclear power, there are no reliable, efficient, or healthy alternatives. The nuclear Renaissance will soldier on throughout the world, simply because there is no other choice. This means the nuclear industry will continue to flourish, leading to a more prosperous international economy with reduced energy dependence.

Turns out that bombs kill people; I know this may come as a real shocker given the amount of bathroom graffiti I have seen lately. Bomb threats every day of the week. One even went as far as to threaten the world with the Apocalypse on December 21,2012.

Society has learned to deal with bombs, now they are just another part of pop culture and another weapon of disgruntled students and angry citizens. False bomb threats are useless at getting any action done, however they are great at pissing off the authorities. Every time one is called in whole areas have to be evacuated and police have to spend tens of thousands of dollars searching for the bomb that never was. Its like when we let three pigs into the school, labelling them 1,2, and 4; letting them run wild through the school. Authorities quickly apprehended them, but were greatly perplexed when they couldn’t find the third pig. They were pissed, we laughed.

Pig Number Three hid in his superb disguise, nobody guessed his actual identity

Authorities hate bomb threats; so when there was a particularly violent one in Paris today they were forced to take it seriously. The target was the Eiffel Tower and the cause was clear. The Lower House of France, it’s at the bottom of the hill, just pasted a controversial bill that raised the French pension age to 62. On the upside this will help cut the French deficit by seventy-two billion euro, like two hundred billion dollars. On the down side those poor Frenchmen will have to wait an addition two years before they start receiving pension checks. Sad face.

Such sadness. Such drama. I usually hate mimes, but she's kinda cute.

In response to this some idiot called in a bomb threat. This is the part where it gets real. Every time anyone calls in a false bomb threat police forces get a little more lax on their precautions.

If there was one bomb threat every ten years, police would act with extreme energy, searching every alcove with absolute efficiency. There is a notable chance that the bomb, that is very, very real, will be deactivated and lives and property will be saved.

Suppose there was one a year, police would still take it seriously and they would probably get pretty good at doing their job. Still though this is where people start swearing over lost sleep

Suppose there was one a month. Police will hurriedly check their districts, then return to eating donuts. Now they are up a magnitude of annoyance; someone stole their donut!

The Donut Police Force (DPF) was formed for the protection and equal rights of all donuts and bagels.

Once a week. Once a day. Every time something pisses you off. Cops are eating donuts now, your frantic bomb threat will be dealt with right after they retrieve all the bicycles stolen in the last ten years and file the paperwork. And that’s fine. We all live merrily ever after and gorge ourselves on sugary delights, time to bring out the strawberry glazed.

Right? Oh wait, that was a real bomb, SHI-

GIANT DONUT!

The moral of the story people have got to stop being so self-centered; whether they are upset about government policy or are distressed by the increasing numbers of mudbloods populating our school systems. While the bomb threat will bring about immediate results those changes will be lucky to last longer than six hours. Than the world returns to normal, twice as annoyed and half as wary. Should an actual bomb be planted, the authorities won’t even bother sending someone to investigate. People will die if this trend continues; ironically the fools who called in previous false will die right along side those who are calling in real ones. Deal with life; it’s better than embracing death (seriously, he’s all feathery.)