Female and male decisions implicating on intimate relationships and dynamics

Wednesday, 19 March 2014

Average looking women being less afraid of rejection

“To
a man, rejection should be seen as reflection.

To
a woman, rejection can seem like a fatality of dejection.”

It was only the other day when I recollected
moments from my naïve days of understanding women. So often on nights out they would interact in
the ways women do - like pretending to accidently bump into you, flicking their
hair in your direction, finding excuses to touch you, and on the rare occasion
actually verbally engaging directly.
They were sometimes physically attractive women, although more often
they were a couple of grades below. In
most cases I was oblivious to their interest.
So as a circular process analysis, this is what tended to happen:

The women showed interest.

I wasn’t aware of their interest and desire
for me to interact.

I consequently ignored their advances.

They became keener due my apathetic emotions.

They lost interest after a few minutes of me
showing no interest.

To reminisce even more on the times when I
did engage after picking up on their hints and glances, more often than not
they consequently repelled or denied showing any previous emotions towards
me.One theory to this is that they
maybe weren’t even looking in the first place?The more likely explanation is, no matter how physically attractive
women find a man, if he gives up the challenge too easily or too soon she can
quickly lose her attraction.Do nothing,
and he gains nothing.What an illogical
and complex world we live in.Nevertheless,
after all said and done, and although much rarer than in comparison to men,
women will engage with men in the same way, shape or form.It is just usually more discrete and in a
process in order to avoid blatant rejection.

For those who have the odd gamble on the
horses, this analogy will sound familiar.
Imagine there are two horses to consider in the race - one horse is 2/1
odds against and the other horse is 50/1 odds against. In order to gain £100 profit from the 50/1
shot, you only need to invest £2. To
achieve the same profit on the 2/1 horse you would need to invest £50. Both options will bring the same reward, no
more or no less. The long shot offers
little investment, emotion or fear of losing, whilst the short odds manifest
the opposing feelings of much investment, far more apprehensive emotions, and a
greater fear of the consequences in receiving nothing back. If a physically attractive woman in this
dynamic is the one placing the 2/1 bet, and an average looking woman is the one
staking the 50/1 horse, then this is how each of them will view and assess the
thoughts of being rejected by a man they are attracted to.

Whether on a night out, during a day time
activity, or even internet dating sites, a man can find himself being engaged
by a less visually beautiful woman than his own level in relative terms. Usually, in the manner men prioritize their
attraction criteria on females, this will mean it is a woman less attractive
than the type he seeks out. In this same
period of time, the same man can find himself being turned down and rejected by
more physically attractive women than the women he has been engaged by,
although they may be no higher than his own rating. For a time it is a justifiable reason for him
to doubt his own physical attractiveness, or even his other sexual market value
characteristics. He can question if he
is in fact as good looking as he thinks he is, or how he believes he once was.

A month later he sees that hot girl who
rejected him, and she is seen with an average looking man. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but
when everyone else has the same view of his mediocre looks, a man with a lack
of understanding to female emotive preferences can be left scratching his
head. However, this predicament of the
beautiful woman with average looking men should tell him everything he needs to
know, but the explanation is relatively straight forward after a number of
experiences and observations of this kind.
Obliviousness of reality is prone to those who live in denial of the
truth.

Like usual, this whole procedure goes against
the immediate logical thinking. You
would expect a physically attractive woman to have more confidence to put her
courage out there and ask men out. We
can assume the better looking she is, the more likely it is the guy will
positively receive her advances. The
equal assumption is, unless it is with a man equal or less attractive than her,
there is no way an average looking woman will aim to interact with a man,
especially a good looking man. However,
this isn’t the normal course of events in either case.

The critical words in these two scenarios are
expectation and consequence. The lesser
looking woman of the two almost expects to be rejected by a handsome guy. She won’t take kindly to rejection, but like
backing the long shot horse, her consequence is a mindset of everything to gain
and little to lose. Now take the better
looking woman. Beauty is everything to a
hot girl, as women require external validation far more than their male
counterparts. It is like her main
purpose and privilege in life. Whilst
they may fake it, this segment of women are low in natural confidence, and when
seeing the reflection in the morning they know a long term with a good looking
man may leave him turning his face up at her.
This is her perception rather than reality, but as explained in previous
chapters, perceptiveness rules over the truth.
In addition, if she hasn’t dated any good looking men in her
relationship life span, or she has had one bad experience with a hot guy, she
will believe they are all the same. An
average looking man offers her a more comfortable feeling within herself.

In the short period of time I participated in
internet dating, I collated experiences to form a view that substantiates this
theory. I sent messages to physically
attractive women and they never responded.
Less attractive women, or women who would be judged to be less
physically attractive by the mass populations, strangely sent messages to
me. Further to this, research was
undertaken on an internet dating website.
The findings were clear - women graded eighty percent of men on the
database as unattractive looking, yet the majority of messages they sent were
to these men. In simple terms, they pro-acted
with men they didn’t find visually alluring, but who they were confident they
would receive a response with.

Internet dating is just one element of
emotional attraction that spells out how women take subconscious choices in
male suitability for dating and relationships.
Safety and egoism should never be underestimated when analyzing how they
think. Safety avoids rejection, and
egoism is created by attention. An
average looking or ugly man to a beautiful woman will achieve both
accomplishments. In her mind he will
appreciate her more, he will offer her comfort, he will give her more
attention, and as a result of all these, it will inflate her ego. The average looking woman isn’t so much
living in a bubble of self-consciousness, insecurity, self-value necessity and
ego requirement. Throughout her life she
hasn’t received all the attention from friends, teachers, mentors, family and
inundated beta males.

A childhood analysis of this situation comes
in the roles of the ugly nursery girl alongside the cute kid. The cute little girl always has boys wanting
to give her toys to play with, and in turn she never even considered there
being a boy who didn’t want to mess around with her. On the other side of the room sat the uglier
girl who was often alone. It was seldom
for any boy to throw anything in pleasure at her, and she accustomed herself in
believing nobody truly valued her. If
she did ask another child to play with her, it didn’t matter as much if they
agreed or ran away. Twenty years on,
life hasn’t changed dramatically in this analysis. With this in mind, rejection isn’t the
preconceived fatality of emotion and sour feeling to a less physically
attractive woman that is often seen upon by the prettier looking woman standing
to her right.

I’ve said for a long time now that cute women
with above average looks – typically 7/10 in aesthetic rating – who are sharp
minded in the way the sexual market works, could sweep up a lot of men who are
a grade above them in physical attractiveness.
In addition, these men could also be high value. If they are clued up to the real life
evidence that their more beautiful looking female counterparts are rarely with
equally good looking men, and they are aware these reasons are formed mainly
through insecurity, trust issues and egoism consciousness of these women, they
would live in the knowledge that men of high looks scale would be more than
happy to venture on with them in emotional terms. This would be even more motivating for men if
these women also held a good degree of personality, consideration to others,
and an ability to not take themselves too seriously. However, even if they were aware of the
pronounced occurrences, women who hold fortitude to take things to the next
step are still few and far between.
Women in general, irrespective of their physical attractiveness level,
simply take imperceptible decisions, but sometimes conscious choices, to not be
with men better looking than they are.

About Me

Tough and sensitive. Firm but kind. Happy to help, but not here to be used. Once naive, now astute. Versatile and ranged. Balanced yet peripheral. Stylish but not extravagant. Stands out at the same time as blending in.