Evening folks. As Rask points out below (look now! I’ll be here when you come back.), tomorrow begins the season. With that, MYFO is taking the opportunity to kick back into full-speed. We have a few more previews to come out, but heading into the final “Off Weekend”, we’re introducing another new feature, and this one is designed to only pop up once in a while!

Before we get to that, a bit of Meta stuff.: we here at MYFO apologize in advance for any down time we have over the weekend. We’re doing a bit of last-minute pre-season cleaning that we should have done over the summer, but one of us was about as productive as a monkey masturbating with a banana peel over the summer. Not saying who (me) but that person is very sorry for the time that he (I) has (have) wasted. Good lord willing, and creeks not rising, we’ll be new and improved Monday morning, with special treats for everyone!

Also, MYFO started the process of selling out to the highest bidder by joining in on ESPN: The Magazine’s hockey preview. Go comment on their post and tell them how funny we are. We’re selling out more in the near future, but we’ll tell you about that once things are finalized.

While Avery – the league’s biggest agitator – has no reservations when it comes to getting under an opponent’s skin, his former roommate-turned boss has established a limit.

“Just one,” Hull explained to TSN. “(I said) as long as you don’t embarrass the organization, you can do, say or act any way you want.”

And does that include line-crossing trash talk?

“That’s just part of gamesmanship and his personality,” Hull explained. “You’d be surprised how many guys do things like that out there. Someone’s got to be the best and someone’s got to be the worst at everything.”

And what about getting a stick up in a goaltender’s face like he did last spring against Martin Brodeur? “(That’s not acceptable) to me because that’s not the way you play hockey,” Hull told Off the Record. “Why would you want to do that? Why don’t you want to get open and get a shot away? But that was before he was with me.”

Well, la-di-fucking-da, cock knocker. You must know all about winning….when your foot is in the crease!

Another excruciatingly long summer is (almost) over. Actual hockey games are on the horizon. Because this is the 265th most widely read hockey blog on the internets, MYFO felt a deep obligation to our dozens of readers to prepare this series of previews telling you about every single team in the NHL. By “prepare” we mean, we found other people to write many of them for us. We were looking for people who (unlike us) might have an actual clue about these teams, but were also eager/willing enough to work for free. Within those constraints, we think we did an admirable job.

Previewing YOUR Toronto Maple Leafs: Loser Domi from the Wonderful World of Loser Domi.
Howdy ho, folks. Loser Domi here with your 2008-2009 Season Preview of the Toronto Maple Leafs. I thought I’d do something a little different for this, so I re-wrote the classic Queen song “Bohemian Rhapsody.” Keep in mind that this can only be the third best “Bohemian Rhapsody” parody out there due to the existence of both the Zero Wing Rhapsody and the “Brohemian Rhapsody” With that in mind, enjoy!

Before I begin, I’m guest-hosting over at GoingFiveHole today. Drop by and show them some MYFO-style attention. Except for that Fanhouse guy that bumped me from the morning to the afternoon. Fuck that dude, even if he does like Barry Melrose..

I try not to let my blatant homerism shine through on here. I rarely post about the Lightning, except to make Saw jokes about the owners and bust out some Clerks references, mostly because I never want to be one of “those” guys. You know the type, the bloggers who obsess about their own team to the point where any minor criticism causes a sea of rage. (Yes, I’m well aware that link goes to the wrong spot. But I think it’s funnier this way.)

That said, the Lightning are going to be pretty fucking good this year.

Yanno, I’m a pretty patient guy. I bide my time. I wait my turn. I give people plenty of room on the interstate when they decide to cut me off.

Which is why when I spent months building Sean Avery into hockey’s badass every chance I could (and I beat that motherfucking horse to death over and over), I didn’t fly off the handle when he decided to intern at Vogue this summer. Hell, I didn’t even do a post on it. But some things, even I cannot stand.