New Pen!s Implant Will Alert Your Cell Phone When Your Man Is Cheating

Microsoft and Apple have joined forces to cut down on infidelity, save marriages and keep people in relationships accountable for their actions. Together, the technology giants have created a “genital implant” that will alert your cell phone if your partner goes astray. It is called Commit-Tech.

Commit-Tech is a tiny chip that will be implanted at the tip of the penis on the man and the vulva of the woman. These two microchips will be synced together with an app that is installed on your cell phone. If at any time, one of these chips is involved in any sexual activity without the other chip, it will alert the partners cell phone that the other has been cheating.

“It’s a brilliant idea and we think it’s about time couples became accountable for their actions,” said Stephen Triton, developer. “There is no way cheating mates can get away with infidelity anymore. If your partner is not willing to install this implant, you might want to think twice about their commitment to you.”

The chip will be sold by Microsoft and Apple starting in March 2017 and will be compatible across all devices.