Dear Diary,
If I had to describe myself, I'd say that I am an introvert. I've always been shy, quiet and a little socially awkward. I prefer being alone and get anxious when I have to socialize with a lot of people for a long time. But I'd never really thought much about it until recently. On Friday, I went to a first year university semi-formal. I was never the kind of girl that went out much, but oddly enough, I was pretty excited! It was a beautiful venue, I had a cute black dress that I was excited to wear, and I was ready to have a good time. But the closer it got to actually having to leave the house, the more anxious I got.
I've always been a homebody, creature of habit, wallflower...whatever you want to call it. But I really thought that night I would take some risks, let loose a little and have fun. In reality, I just stuck with the few friends I had become close with over the last few months and we spent the night taking pictures and talking about Harry Potter and Jane the Virgin. Nonetheless, I did actually have a lot of fun!
But a part of me will always be jealous of the girls who can be the life of the party. Because in some ways, that's who I aspire to be. I'm the kind of person who is crazy and sporadic when I'm around people I've been friends with for years, but as soon as I'm around new people, I crawl back to my shell.
I know that a part of me will always be a little shy and introverted, because that's just who I am, and I love that part of me too. But I dont want to hold myself back from meeting new people and experiencing new things. So although it's late, my New Year's resolution is to work on being a more care-free and in the moment kind of person so that I can be spontaneous, seize opportunities and make my dreams come true.
Until next time
- k
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