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Sunday, January 1, 2012

I Think I'm A Hard Bitch

Happens most of us believe in 'karma' and that if it goes around it comes around. I have always been a firm believer - and the other little thing I believe is that you should 'be careful what you wish for'... you just might get it.

Why am I thinking like this? Weeelll... had a phone call from my beloved Aunt, who has just turned 83 (to her utter disgust). She told me that my cousin (her youngest son) phoned my sister on Christmas Day. And my sister was alone. Maybe I am not as hard as I would wish, as my heart hurt when she told me this.

Why was she alone? Oh, it is such a long story. To cut it short, she is a very jealous person, and so is my niece. My niece is also a compulsive liar, vindictive to the nth degree, vicious and extremely aggressive. One tiny tiny example of her personality is the day she sat at the table with me and her mum. I was looking at her eyebrows and thinking what a beautiful shape they were. Was wishing mine would be like that. I asked her "do you pluck your eyebrows, Jo?". She snarled (yep, snarled) at me "yes, I DO, you got a problem with THAT?". Oh wow, such a shock to be spoken to like that. I just replied quietly, "no, I was just thinking what a beautiful shape they were". My sister said "see, Jo?"......... I didn't have the heart to ask what she meant.

I digress, as usual. Back to the plot. My niece has always pushed herself between my sister and me, and between my mum and me. She has tried her level best to do the same with mum and my aunt. She loathes and detests me now because when my sister was in hospital fighting for her life because of brain aneurysms and a stroke, my lovely niece was stealing every cent from her. We all visited the hospital every single day, except for Jo. Her mum had been in rehab for three months before Jo bothered to visit her. She also stole from our mentally handicapped foster brother's bank account.

I put a stop to her. So I am persona crap and have been for years. Don't ask me (because I don't know) what line of bull she fed my sister - but my sister suddenly became my number one enemy. We had always been reasonably close until this happened.Jo wished us out of their lives from the first, simply through jealousy. She might have to share her grandparents and her mother - and she wasn't prepared to do this at all. Since my sister's illness she has been the same way. My sister can also be very vicious, and after she came home from hospital that's all she has been towards me, my husband and daughter. I can't handle the vileness, so I keep away.

Every time I saw her she was so horrible to me that I ended in tears. Because she does have some brain damage from the stroke I can't bring myself to respond, to defend myself, or even to ask why.

There is no way I will put myself in front of her again to be a victim. After mum died the two of them lied and lied to me about everything. They are such lousy liars that they trip themselves up. What incenses me is that they hold me in such contempt as to think I won't see through their lies.

So my sister has (as was to be expected) been abandoned by her only child. She thinks the sun shines out of Jo, and can't or won't remember that just before the operation she told me "you can't believe a word that comes out of Jo's mouth", and that she had kicked Jo out of the house (she was 18). Now my sister believes Jo is the answer to all the world's problems. Sadly, Jo holds her mother in contempt and has always done so.

They both now have what they wished for, sadly for them. We are out of their lives. The reason for my sister being alone on Christmas Day? My niece had another mental breakdown. Hmmm, yeah. Right. Sure thing. Liar liar pants on fire. So even if she did, where was her partner? Why couldn't he have come and got my sister and taken her to their place to be with her 3 grandchildren? Hmmmm? The lies keep coming. And where is the love?

Am I wrong to keep away? It is so hard to be with her and be spoken to as though I am a piece of dog poop on the sole of her shoe. It just feels to me that my sister died on that operating table, and this 'thing' that has her body is something I can't relate to, believe, or put myself in the way of, and that I have no defences.