Well isn't this a gem? Apparently a New Jersey mom with two kids at a Gallop Asian Bistro had no problem shoveling $100 worth of food into her family's mouths, but she had a big problem with tipping her androgynous lesbian waitress.

I'm a server at Gallop Asian Bistro in Bridgewater, NJ and THIS is what happened to me today.....

The note says "sorry I cannot tip because I do not agree with your lifestyle & the way you live your life"

NEVER in a million years did I think this would happen. Not only was it a family with two kids, but as I introduce myself and tell them my name is Dayna - the mom proceeds to look at me and say "oh I thought you were gonna say your name is Dan. You sure surprised us!"

I am THOROUGHLY offended mad pissed off and hurt that THIS is what her kids will grow up learning and that I served in the Marines to keep ignorant people like them free. Sorry lady but I don't agree with YOUR lifestyle and the way you're raising your kids but you didn't see me throwing that in your face and giving you shitty service. Keep your damn mouth shut and pray we never cross paths again.

Dayna M.

How classy of this mom to explain her reasons behind stiffing the server who just spent time on her feet putting food on your table.

Dayna later told her Facebook supporters (and there are many):

Thanks everyone for your support - it took very fiber of my being not to spit in their food and say something. (Not gonna lie if kids weren't there it would of been a totally different story)

Best thing you could do.... Take a picture of her. Text it to all of your friends. You work in foodservice. That means most of your friends do too. That's just an industry thing. She won't be able to eat out anywhere anymore. You can post the check on FB or wherever as long as it's scrubbed, but her picture is fair game to text around EVERY food service establishment in the area. Or you could just spend a lil cash and get dirt on her with a Private Investigator. Wouldn't be tough. It would be vindictive.

To whomever "Me" is: That is the most ridiculous thing I've read all day. Typical American myopia and self-righteousness. Your reaction here is really no better than the customer's insensitive remarks and stingy, non-existent tip.

Are you really that typically lowest-common denominator American? It's comments like yours that have me worried for my country. Wow.

The most ridiculous thing about this is how ignorant the general public is about how a server actually gets paid. When a server stiffed on a bill it is actually costing them to serve that ignorant guest. There is typically tipout to a bartender and various other people. You think servers make minimum wage? Wrong. In most cases it is under 3$ an hour which goes to taxes. YES it is optional to tip, but what is really grounds for getting no tip? Its not like the server didn't do the job, they just sucked at it. So leave 10%. That's actually way more hurtful in my opinion than stiffing the server. That just proves ignorance and EVERY single server will never see why it was deserved. Just makes you the asshole. So think before you act people.

Wow $87.43 and the taxes on that are $6.12!!!!! That is awesome. Here where I live taxes would have been around $9.88. My wife and I do not go out to eat at places like this a lot but when we do have the money to we take enough to tip atleast 15%, 25% if we're very pleased. I'm a Blue Collar worker and I respect hard workers like servers. Regardless of their sexuality. That's ridiculous.

Thank you for serving our country, so that people can speak their minds so freely. But it doesn't always mean they should. I am also greatful you had the courage to post this, I hope people see this and realize the awfull people that are out there and think they are free at No cost to them.

TO everyone that says its the diner's prerogative whether she wanted to tip or not. What 99% of people who SAY that actually don't know is that on the worker's income statement, the IRS automatically assumes she got tipped 20% and is charged tax on that whether she got tipped or not. That's the way it is in property-accounted establishments.

SO to anyone that is not leaving tips, you are also costing the server money on income tax too.

As someone who has waited with lifetime professional servers (i.e. they've been serving 15+ years), I have been told repeatedly to claim 8-10% with IRS or their experience is the govt. will audit. I don't know if it's true.

BUT, the point made earlier about actually losing money IS true when it comes to tipping out at the end of the night. The bartender at the restaurant (and sometimes the host/hostess) always got tipped out of our retail totals at the end of the night. They typically received 20% of my 15% tip. If I got stiffed, then I would have to pay the 1/5 of the expected tip to them out of my pocket -- always. So, on a $90 check I would have to tip them out around $2.70. That is the truth. For those who have not waited tables in the U.S. before, it really is more than optional. In other countries this is true, but their hourly wages are higher. The plates of food cost a lot more too. That's because the gratuity is figured into the menu prices. In the U.S. servers get paid less than $3 USD/hour. Yes, you heard that correctly. I've gotten served by people who were absolute train wrecks but I always have left a tip if they delivered my food. Compromising their livelihood because you don't agree with their choices in life is just pathetic.

There's no obligation to leave a tip...that's your job, you don't like it change it...she wrote what she felt...freedom of speech...I just think she should said to your face! You fight for your beliefs, she fights for hers...the world goes round!

So very true. These people should travel a bit and learn a lot more about this world. It all comes down to leading a more secular life. These poor souls defending this lady are just plainly ignorant. This is the only way you could possibly defend their collective behavior.

Let me think on this one since I'm an idiot and all...hmmm...about 10 bucks if you go to any fast food chain and not have to tip anything...and if I'm already paying 100 bucks on food, wouldn't really care about how much it would cost if servers were "paid appropriately." Fucking moron!

And we all know the food you get at a fast food chain is just as tasty and the same quality as the food you get at an establishment that actually has servers that come to your table, take your order, bring you your food, check to be sure everything is ok, refill your drinks, clear your plates, etc. Yeah, it would be a lot more than $10 per person if servers were paid an hourly wage they could actually live on. Fucking moron!

Yup it's pretty much the same quality and still satisfies KB! If u don't like getting paid like a waiter/waitress, don't be one! It's that simple you fucking moron! You have no input on the actual debate here, you're just a mad server...and it's ok...I don't hold it against, you are entitled to your own opinion, AS AM I!!

"Pretty much the same quality " that statement alone disqualifies you from any intelligent conversation about fine dining, and If KB is a server, she is far more qualified to comment on the hardship of trying to live off of a waitresses salary, yes, they live on tips, and YES, the quality of their service to others should be a barometer on how well they live, but even a waitress at IHOP, deserves the same respect as someone working in a four star restaurant, this was an Asian Bistro, which would signify somewhat more than your average dining experience, and usually, servers in such establishments, are trained to serve a formal clientele, this was a simple case of bigotry, based on the antiquated religious premise, that homosexuals are lesser people, and not entitled to exist along side the "enlightened" good Christian customer, who was teaching such a fine lesson to her children, who will no doubt, grow up to be just as enlightened, mores the pity!

"Pretty much the same" is exactly what i meant mike...let me explain it to you since you lack intelligence. Pancakes from McDs pretty much taste the same as pancakes from IHOP...the $1 dr.pepper at Mcds tastes exactly the same as the $3 dr. Pepper at any "fine dining" restaurant...like I said before...if KB can't survive on a server's income, maybe she/he should change employment...if she/he were intelligent enough to do so! As far as Christian values and morals...they are all retrieved from the good book...everyone should be respected, even if they are bigots. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, even if it's not like yours Mike!!

I fully embrace the concept that people's opinions differ from mine, and please tell me again about my intelligence, yours was never in question here, I spoke to the lesson of intolerance, and not everyone believes in your " good book", but that's another can of worms all together, I swore an oath to defend this country, and the rights of its citizens wherein, so please save yourself the embarrassment of continuing to doubt my motives in defending this waitress, the mother was showing her children that it is alright to discriminate on the grounds of sexual orientation, which is her right as a parent, but sets up an awfully painful lesson for her children, further down the line, all this based on the misguided notion that Jesus taught his disciples " love thy neighbor as yourself, (excepting of course, your neighbor is gay" then it's Okie dokie to shun them" ) I must have missed that part of the Ten Commandments , you know..those ten laws from which your good book sprung!? ( and please tell me again about my intelligence, my IQ would boggle your feeble mind!)

Your IQ is more than likely a single digit number Mike! If you fight to protect the constitution, then you must believe that the person who wrote the note on the receipt has all the right in the world to express her opinion...I stand behind my god, I have principles and morals and accept people how and what they are, but I have no obligation to force my beliefs on any one...the writer feels the need to voice her opinion...more power to her...the waitress had to put this on blast....more power to her...if you don't get that peoples opinions will always differ, I'm sorry I can't help you understand the greater picture here!

People absolutely do have the right to their opinions. They do not have the right to force their beliefs on other people . . . especially in a hurtful way. That did happen here. I've already addressed this elsewhere.

You're right tipping is an option, but this is pure discrimination and judgment. It's not like she said, "Hi, my name is Dayna, and I'm your lesbian server." The guest is a biggot, and if she had a problem she should have asked for a different server.

How is this openly discriminating? She wrote it on the ticket meant for the waitress...did the waitress have to put it on Facebook...ummmm....NO! The waitress could have scratched it out and that would be the end of it, but no...she just wants to be labeled a victim...well get the fuck over it!

@Opinionanted I feel so sorry for you right now and whoever raised you with those ideals, your parents did an extremely lousy job, if you are their reflections, they were or are HORRIBLE, and I really feel sorry that you grew up to be the inadequate persona you HAVE BECOME with such narrow mentality, I just hope you never have the possibility to have kids in case you turn them like that as well. I'm embarrassed I have people like yourself living in this country calling themselves Americans. Good day to you and the other guy Justin FOR SUCH DISGUSTING SELFISH MENTALITY

Are you judging me Cristian? Do you know me or how I was raised? No. I have opinions and I share them...this is what makes me American! Part of the reason I love being American is being able to voice my opinions, hopefully without having people get offended...but if they do, it's their problem..and I for one will still have my opinions and it doesn't affect you or your life one bit...you Christian are an idiot, a moron, and very uneducated...but alas, this is only my opinion! Justin...you are very intelligent! Finally a real American!

We could make this very easy if we just made everyone who wanted to voice an opinion first take an IQ test. In my perfect world, only people with viable intelligence should be allowed to post an opinion. Poor Opinionated would be locked in a box, screaming to get to the keyboard. We could stick that box in a cage and derive hours of endless fun watching the Opinionated's irritation and annoyance. I'll even buy the popcorn.

The server could have lost her job if she posted all the information including the restaurant. It is against the social media policy. Additionally if that person found out, they could potentially sue you for slander. ;) but it's a nice thought.

I think that it is crazy that someone believes they can refuse to tip for service based on someone's sexuality. When you apply for jobs it is illegal for them to discriminate based on race, sex, sexuality, religious beliefs etc. This person in a nutshell is paying the server her wages, but yet they believe they have the right to discriminate. Despicable. Welcome to the real world, you may not want to be like everyone that you meet and their decisions, but that's why they are their decisions. Live the life you want to live, be the person you want to be, and if you want to be a judgmental piece of shit, then keep it to yourself and leave your children and everyone else out of it.

"Everyone" is making such a big deal out of this because this woman crossed a line. Let's face it, there will always be ignorant, self-righteous, obnoxious individuals out there. These people drill their hatred into their kids heads and then those kids will do the same some day, It sucks, it's wrong, but to some degree, sadly, it will always be a part of life.

This rude woman had the right to stiff the waitress. What she did not have the right to do was put her pathetic excuse for not tipping on the bill. Furthermore, if she was so disturbed by the server, why didn't she leave or sit elsewhere.

What? She had just as much of a 'right' to include an excuse on the bill, as she did to stiff the poor woman, I dont like your comment at all. It's too easy to sit back and go 'hey, that's always gonna be that way'. That's not how change happens. The reason this is news is because it's shocking behavior that the majority of society is no longer willing to accept. It's important to share this and let others know, this is NOT okay.

This is unacceptable behavior!! Reasons I wouldn't tip would be down to the service, not sexuality, race or any other stupid excuse. I will say however, someone mentioned earlier that they hope one of her kid's turns out to be gay..I disagree. I sincerely hope neither Of her children turn out gay, as they will be made to feel ashamed of themselves. I wouldn'. Wish that on anyone. But Dayna, I am sorry you had to deal with discrimination like this. You demonstrated you have better morals than this poor excuse for a human being, by simply keeping your opinions to yourself. I have so much respect for you and I hope you never have to deal with anything like this again. Hold your head high, all us lesbians have your back xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx much love from England!!

Ok as a bartender let me make clear, the name is covered, no vital info is shown, and signature a scribble so it's fine to post online. Also anyone who says that being blatantly cruel is ok because it must have been so obvious she was gay, you're a douchecanoe and should become a hermit. I am adopted by a blatantly gay man but that doesn't give this twatwaffle a reason to be on her high horse. Those poor kids! I hope one turns out to be gay.

Its not cool to stiff someone who depends on tips for most of their income, BUT look at all the Hypocrites who don't have a problem with ripping Chick Fil A and costing them money just because of their choice to support "traditional" marriage hating on this lady for doing the exact same thing....Time to reflect on the fact that when you claim that you want to be treated equal you have to accept the fact that others are allowed to be whatever way they want to be also, which includes bigoted jerks.

You're comparing apple to oranges. Not giving a business your business is not the same as accepting services, and then making some weak "moral" stand as an excuse to not pay for them. Bad service is one thing, but that isn't the case here. If this woman is so righteous in her beliefs she should have just gotten up and left before eating! If she had done that your analogy would be true, as it stands you pose bad logic.

Not defending her....just pointing out that everyone is allowed to have an opinion without all the hate. a Hypocrite is a hypocrite. It's just funny how the ones who claim to be hated and discriminated against are so quick to hate and discriminate and think it's justified on their behalf. No Matter what the income level.

There is having opinions, and then there is accepting this server's service only to have it be for nothing. If she was uncomfortable with the server, she should have asked for another at the beginning. Clearly she had that impression from the start. Servers count on those tips as income. It's not extra money. It is THE money they make. Also, it's not discrimination to call someone out for being an unacceptable human being.

Chick fil a Make plenty of money. The also donate to "charities" that try to shrink away the gay . The watress was an individual that was doing her job . Not a huge cooperation. you chose to eat there. Theee are plenty of other places to eat

Money has nothing to do with it, and you are making up facts. stick to the topic. Hate is wrong from BOTH sides and just because this lady is Ignorant and has misplaced hatred doesn't mean she doesn't have the right to her opinion. Plus it's obvious she's not too bright she makes a redundant and ridiculous statement by saying she "doesn't agree with her lifestyle" as well as she "doesn't agree with how she lives her life" both of which are the same thing said two different ways. Personally I commend Chik Fil A for backing their beliefs and standing up for them. This is America right?

EVERYTHING Ashley stated is true. Research the facts before you claim that others are making their's up. The "lady" who stiffed the waitress didn't pay for services rendered. Not eating at Chik FIl A because they support hate groups isn't hate, it's not giving money to or patronizing an establishment that uses those profits to hurt others like me.

After the racist receipt article, it kind of just seems like all of a sudden everyone is suddenly having all these things to post on the internet about there server problems. This sh!t happens everyday everywhere and not just to waiters some people actually get told to there face, why all of a sudden is it a big deal? Probably because the case with the racist comment the waitress made a lot of money off of it. Now everyone wants to do it. Just seems like you're trying to raise money honestly.

Servers shouldn't have to rely on tips and particularly not if issues other than good service come into play. "Sorry I couldn't tip you, I don't like your hair/teeth/tattoos etc" the list could be never-ending.

It's time for American hospitality workers to organize and demand fair pay and conditions. Your employers can raise prices 10 to 20 per cent and simply tell customers the price includes tip.

"Thanks everyone for your support - it took very fiber of my being not to spit in their food and say something." So, Dayna, it's pretty clear that you knew from the outset how the experience was going to play out, so why didn't you switch tables with another server? It's not okay to post people's receipts online, regardless of the circumstances.

of course your comment would be anonymous,,I think name and shame is the game here. No human should have to put up with the ignorance demonstrated by the diner,,,, and the saddest thing of all is that she has had children.

I wonder if the ladies opinion would be the same if a GLBT Doctor was saving the life of her child,,, different story?? thought so,

Why should we, LGBT people, have to swap tables, shifts etc? If (as a white person) I didn't want to serve a black person, would that be acceptable? Didn't think so. You serve whomever comes to your table / counter etc. I've had to serve those I don't like (including Margaret Thatcher) - that made me a better person, not a bitter person.

Not tipping for this reason is wrong but how did the mom know the waitress was a lesbian? If it was 'that' obvious then how is this different to flaunting your religious or political beliefs at your customers?

Also, the bill would have been paid (not not tipped) after the meal, so how could the waitress have refrained from spitting in the food? There was no food left to spit in.

Honestly, have you ever thought about how often you advertise your sexuality? Serious question, because every time you mention a significant other, even in a conversation that has nothing to do with sex, it announces who you sleep with. It's not purposeful, but if you're a woman telling me you have a boyfriend, I now know you sleep with men. A very short skirt seems to announce the sexuality of a woman just as much as a short haircut, and it's very much different than flaunting your religious or political beliefs because your religious/political beliefs involve words being spoken.

If it makes you uncomfortable that a woman has short hair because they might be a lesbian then you have issues - and those issues aren't the fault of someone who can wear their hair however the f**k they want to.

It would be flaunting her sexuality if she was telling this woman and her kids all about it and offering unsolicited details of her life.

Some gay people are obviously gay. Some gay people are not that obvious. But being obviously gay isn't flaunting it anymore than wearing a cross is flaunting your religion, or appearing black is flaunting your race. What you're really implying isn't that she should refrain from flaunting her sexuality, it's that she should actively hide it -- similar to never wearing your cross in public, or outright denying that you're a Christian, or covering your dark skin with makeup. Hiding one's identity is a terrible thing to *ask* someone to do, much less demand it.

I imagine she wanted to spit in the woman's food after she told her that she thought her name was Dan. That was...ridiculously rude.

It probably wasn't that she knew she was a lesbian. She probably would have assumed any women that was not dressed feminine was a lesbian. So she was stereotyping. It just happened to be that she was correct. The woman made the assumption that how a person dresses or looks like has a correlation with which gender they prefer to be romantically intimate with.

And then for your second comment, the waitress was already insulted when she took the order. The women said to her face (and it sounds like rudely as well) that the women thought she was a guy. In polite society, even if one mistakenly takes one for a male or female when they are in fact the opposite, it is seen as a great insult or misgrievance to be told that to their face.

In the case of flaunting your religious or political beliefs to your customers: that can either be seen as talking with them about those beliefs, lecturing about those beliefs, or wearing some sort of propaganda about those beliefs. This women did none of the above, she just wore the clothes she felt comfortable in and looked a certain way. A straight woman could have dressed the same way and been insulted as well.

There are rude people out there who will use any excuse to not tip a server and be cheap and greedy. Fact is the server's sexual choices have absolutely NOTHING to do with the service he/she performed for the customer. There are people out there who also believe this rude person has a right to use this as a "reason" to not tip. I was actually unfriended on Facebook by a person who believes just that and she got uppity when I explained the minimum wage for servers and how restaurants could not afford to to pay national minimum wage and keep prices low enough for the average person to dine out. It takes all kinds. This person was just a cheap bastard!

This is an outrage. I'd like to say first to Dana, Thank you for your service to our country.

Second, being in the food service business for most of my life I have seen people leave without tipping for one reason or another. But never this. I don't care what your lifestyle is or what color your skin is, You are doing a job that is extremely demanding. The public stinks. We are here to serve you not to be your servant. I want to get paid just like the next person. I hope that this persons children will realize how wrong their mother is and make different choices as they grow older. I will pray that you Dana have a wonderful life no matter what. Know you are loved. Take care and may your next tip be double what you think it should be. Give your best service, that's all you can do. Happy Holidays to you.

The US Government recognizes her "lifestyle" and thinks it's just marvelous. Now you, or your backwater state, may not. But, then again, you're the sort of person who thinks that orientation is a "lifestyle" so I'm not sure why we should care what you think.

Yes her money her choice but that just left the server dayna to pay to serve those ignorant people. she has to tip out bartenders bussers and pay taxes on that $93.00 tab. So if she did her job correctly and gave proper service she should be tipped for it. Servers make $4.00 an hour and for that woman to make that server pay to be insulted is just wrong, and you are too got agreeing that that ok..,

$4.00 an hour? Jesus christ that would have been wonderful. 6 years ago I was working at Ruby Tuesday for a pissant $2.30 an hour. It was literally the worst job I've ever had, mostly because of customers like this, who would order food and then send it back "because it wasn't what they expected" or they "didn't like the taste". I had a guy order and drink two beers then refuse to pay "because they weren't cold". I would come home from a 7-hour shift with $23 in my pocket, didn't even pay for gas. Restaurant work in a right-to-work state (read: Anti-union) is absolute hell.

Notice she totally ignored the survey portion of the receipt, which is the section that outlines the areas that should ACTUALLY be considered when tipping. C'mon lady, no one asked you if you "agree" with your judgment of this man, which may or may not have been accurate. Makes me sick.

I like to say bad words. So, sorry about it but what a damn bitch. Why did she have the waitress serve them in the first place? So, she accepts the waitress lifestyle to serve her, but not to tip her? Lol what a dumb c***

The worst part is that this woman jumped to such a conclusion based on the server's appearance. I highly doubt she said, "Welcome to Gallop. My name is Dayna, and I'll be your homosexual waitress tonight."

Lifestyle has no relation to service or the tip amount. She robbed him because he is gay. I disapprove of bigots, therefore I should burglarize their homes and leave a note explaining it was because I disapprove of bigotry.

This made me livid. It was rude enough that the person didnt leave a tip, but to leave a hurtful message as well? She had no intention of sharing her opinion.. the only reason anyone says stuff like that is to hurt feelings, and that was her sole intention.

Im gay myself, and it hurts me to see when people are mean to others just because of their sexual prefference.

Wrong. No freedom "allows" her to be a lesbian, because it's not something you can/have to be allowed to do. You simply are a lesbian or not. Just like you're either gay, or not, or bi or not, etc. Furthermore, while the mother has the right to her opinion, that does not translate to allowing her to be a bitch. She should have tipped her.