I got a Christmas bonus? I haven't had a raise or any kind of bonus in three years of working here, so i'm a little suspicious. Also i'm wondering if all of my co-workers got one, and if we all got the same amount. Because since I work so little and make so little, my bonus is more than I make in a week and I can't imagine that everyone got an amount that was also more than they make in a week. That would be thousands of dollars in bonuses when we usually get nothing.

_________________"The Tree is His Penis"

The tree is his penis // it's very exciting // when held up to his mouth // the lights are all lighting // his eyes start a-bulging // in unbridled glee // the tree is his penis // its beauty, effulgent -amandabear

I got a Christmas bonus? I haven't had a raise or any kind of bonus in three years of working here, so i'm a little suspicious. Also i'm wondering if all of my co-workers got one, and if we all got the same amount. Because since I work so little and make so little, my bonus is more than I make in a week and I can't imagine that everyone got an amount that was also more than they make in a week. That would be thousands of dollars in bonuses when we usually get nothing.

Did the money just show up in your account or did someone actually call you into their office and tell you "Merry Christmas, here's your bonus!"?

In the first instance, I would sniff around and try to find out if other people got it too...you never know. If it was a mistake, they would just take it back.

My boss handed me a check and today is our normal payday, but we got paid on Friday to avoid any problems with our accountant not being around to make our checks, so I said, "I can't believe i'm saying this but...you already paid me." And he said, "I know, that's just something extra." So it's totally on purpose! If you've caught any of my work stories you understand why i'm wondering if i'm finally going to be let go or if my boss has a brain tumor.

He wasn't discreet about it so I assume that the two guys on this side got one, but the people who work in a separate office might not have because they've all been here for six months or less.

_________________"The Tree is His Penis"

The tree is his penis // it's very exciting // when held up to his mouth // the lights are all lighting // his eyes start a-bulging // in unbridled glee // the tree is his penis // its beauty, effulgent -amandabear

A man just came to the door, selling cards so that he could buy a spot at the homeless shelter tonight (and a Christmas dinner there tomorrow). I bought them, and gave him bananas and apples as well. His face when I handed him what I had was incredible. So much sweetness, I started crying. Wow.

I was in the kitchen when I heard my dad yelling, "Bisque! Bisque!" (Unfiltered) which was funny in and of itself. Then he came in the kitchen and told me that my grandma told everyone back home that he had lobster dick for lunch.

Although if this chocolate pudding pie turns out, I might need to amend. The pudding is amazing, but my crust never got hard. I'm pretty sure I only used 4 TB of coconut oil, but it seems I may have lost count and slipped another in there.

_________________I would eat Dr. Cow pocket cheese in a second. I would eat it if you hid it under your hat, or in your backpack, but not if it was in your shoe. That's where I draw the line. -allularpunk

I was in the kitchen when I heard my dad yelling, "Bisque! Bisque!" (Unfiltered) which was funny in and of itself. Then he came in the kitchen and told me that my grandma told everyone back home that he had lobster dick for lunch.

Although if this chocolate pudding pie turns out, I might need to amend. The pudding is amazing, but my crust never got hard. I'm pretty sure I only used 4 TB of coconut oil, but it seems I may have lost count and slipped another in there.

Do...lobsters even have dicks?

_________________Man, fork the gender card, imma come at you with the whole damned gender deck. - Olives Did you ever think that, like, YOU are a sexy costume FOR a diva cup? - solipsistnationblog!FB!

Although if this chocolate pudding pie turns out, I might need to amend. The pudding is amazing, but my crust never got hard. I'm pretty sure I only used 4 TB of coconut oil, but it seems I may have lost count and slipped another in there.

I was in the kitchen when I heard my dad yelling, "Bisque! Bisque!" (Unfiltered) which was funny in and of itself. Then he came in the kitchen and told me that my grandma told everyone back home that he had lobster dick for lunch.

Although if this chocolate pudding pie turns out, I might need to amend. The pudding is amazing, but my crust never got hard. I'm pretty sure I only used 4 TB of coconut oil, but it seems I may have lost count and slipped another in there.

Do...lobsters even have dicks?

No idea, but I would have given anything to see my 91 year old grandma say lobster dicks. Or just saying dicks; I'm not picky.

poopiebitch wrote:

ndpittman wrote:

Although if this chocolate pudding pie turns out, I might need to amend. The pudding is amazing, but my crust never got hard. I'm pretty sure I only used 4 TB of coconut oil, but it seems I may have lost count and slipped another in there.

Just dish it into fancy glasses and call it a parfait.

I like the way you think! It's just me and my dad, so I'm not too worried. I also made mama pea's dough balls and plan to make the chai spice snickerdoodles. Then we will eat all of the cookies!

ETA: didn't feel like Christmas without pie though.

_________________I would eat Dr. Cow pocket cheese in a second. I would eat it if you hid it under your hat, or in your backpack, but not if it was in your shoe. That's where I draw the line. -allularpunk

Although if this chocolate pudding pie turns out, I might need to amend. The pudding is amazing, but my crust never got hard. I'm pretty sure I only used 4 TB of coconut oil, but it seems I may have slipped another in there.

keep writing, there's material for some sort of weird kitchen porn in here!

One of my classes this semester was pretty hard for me. I got a really poor grade on the midterm and I thought for sure I would get a terrible grade overall. My final grade was posted this morning and I came out with a B-!!! I am so... pleased? Tickled? Chuffed? Delighted? Maybe all of those.

_________________"I will rip out your IV and other roman numerals." - pandacookie"The one thing I would not do for Aubrey Plaza is harm a baby, by the way." - strawberryrock

My friend and I exchanged Yule gifts today. I made her an "instant blessing" candle and painted a rock with an eye of Horus, and she gave me what she calls love oil, pine needles (I keep sniffing them), and a pretty new bow.

Although if this chocolate pudding pie turns out, I might need to amend. The pudding is amazing, but my crust never got hard. I'm pretty sure I only used 4 TB of coconut oil, but it seems I may have slipped another in there.

keep writing, there's material for some sort of weird kitchen porn in here!

NOODLES OUT MY NOSE! JESUS fork! ahahahahah

_________________Man, fork the gender card, imma come at you with the whole damned gender deck. - Olives Did you ever think that, like, YOU are a sexy costume FOR a diva cup? - solipsistnationblog!FB!

I think I'm going to say Christmas carolers even though I'm a total grinch and pretty much hate Christmas. It was nice to hear a small group of people randomly show up and sing in tune and with harmonies live in my living room, even if they were singing about their imaginary friend. There is also an amazing new tea pot and lots of tea.

_________________"We are simple people, my husband is a mechanic with dirty hands, my daughter is a blue haired lesbian who's favorite activity is making people uncomfortable." - torque