John Cleese Loses His Fortune to Ex-Wife

British comedian John Cleese has finalized the terms of his divorce from third wife Alyce Eichelberger, whom the 69-year-old married in 1992. The judge ruled that Eichelberger will receive assets worth $13 million and alimony of $1 million per year for the next seven years. That is over half of his estimated fortune.

Joking about the decision, Cleese said: "I got off lightly. Think what I'd have had to pay if she'd contributed anything!"

In the support of the actor, director/friend Michael Winner said: "The result is extraordinary. Alyce lived in a council flat when they met. As he put it, 'What I find so unfair is that if we both died today, her children would get much more than mine.'"

He continued: "There are no dependent children. If ever there was a case for prenuptial agreements, this is it."

In a previous statement, Cleese said of his divorce from Eichelberger: "It's going to be very, very expensive, but it will be worth every penny."

If you have money, men, NEVER get married. Hide your sh*t in a Swiss bank account. Convert it to gold and bury it in the backyard. Most women nowadays are like Peggy Bundy. They don't EARN it, but they'll be more than happy to take all or most of it. Which is VERY sad. Cleese earned his cash, and now some bitch is cleaning him oout.

And Alyce is a psychotherapist, so she's already very skilled at cheating people out of their money.

I feel bad for these guys, him, Mel, Mike. Their women totaly rob them of what they've earned after so much hard work. This is probably the most severe though. I guess Cleese will be in quite a few more movies in the future.

Remember in True Lies... when Tom Arnold tried cheering up Arnie, about wife # whatever? He came home one day and she emptied out the whole house... even took the ice cube trays? 'What kind of a sick Bitch takes the ice cube trays?!'

Exactly that happened to my brother. But when he got divorced he gave her half, and got her to agree on child support only (she was short-sighted that pig) - so when the kids hit 18... he's done with payments!

I dated a girl for 3 months. Proposed to me after 10 days (I didn't accept... clearly). Broke up with her in 90 days, and she tried suing me for $300K because her business (that her Daddy loaned her to set-up) was going bankrupt (as was she). Lol... needless to say that went nowhere.

Biaches.

PS: before some poor simpleton comes back with a 'interesting stories Ranger (meaning they're too stupid and lazy to read), but how does that apply to this tread?' -- if you have to ask... go study for your urine test.

John Cleese... the saddest thing about this happening to him is (that hasn't been commented on yet) is his age. He would probably like to have thought to slow things down in his life at 69, kick back a bit. Now his financial rug is pulled beneath him.

Hitmen are a LOT cheaper that half an estate and $1mil a year for 7 years folks. Even if he was foolish enough not to do a 'hit contract' beyond arms length, got caught and went to prison. Free food, no taxes, no EX-bitch, and he would be idolized in prison.

A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase. He says, "What are you doing?"
She answers, "I'm moving to Las Vegas. I heard ladies-of-the-night there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free."
Later that night on her way out the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.
When she asks him where he's going, he replies, "I'm going to Vegas, too. I want to see you live on $800 a year."

This is why you need a spouse that has a career, having a dependent spouse could most definitely end bad! If this was this guys third marriage he should of known better. Now he cant even feed his other kids.

Selected Equality: A state where a race, gender or anything of the like demands to be equal in most areas, but either exempt or kept in higher regard in other areas of equality.

That's why, when you get a divorce, the Man usually has to pay child support to the fat c*ckgobbling ex wife of his. Also this is why many more women can get away with crimes, since jurors look kinder upon a female than a male.

Women are bitches, and some make a jus plain stupid.
There's a saying if you build it they will come. Well there's another saying. If you're dumb you'll be taken for every penny you've got.

A friend of mine has been moaning and bitching about how he hates his ex and how she stole his credit card to pay for her college tuition. Well this same friend of mine bumped into her a couple of weeks ago after they had been broken up for a couple years.

We usually meet up for lunch on weekdays. Well he just informed me that he'll be doing lunch with her this afternoon rather than meet up for our usual lunch

honestly its his fault, should of signed a prenup.. but oh well, the guy is wealther than most of us still. And it sounds like he was kinda expecting it. The lesson here is kids if your planning to get married have a prenup. I did, just in case. And if people say it takes the romance out of it. bullsh*t, its called living in reality, if she or he does mind signing it, them my friends u have something to worry about...

Guy Ritchie should of taken more of that tart Madonna!! When I heard Ritchie took some money, I heard bitches left and right moaning about it! Yet they rob men in just about every divorce on this planet!!

The best thing to do is to have a girlfriend who lives on her own, don't even let that bitch sleep over!!