June 04, 2007

What if the smoking gun came in the form of dead air?

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice to right-wing gasbag Sean Hannity:

Freedom of speech, freedom of association and freedom of conscience are not a thorn in the side of government. Disagreeing with your government is not unpatriotic and most certainly should not be a crime in any country, especially a democracy.

Okay, small misstatement of fact on my part. Condi wasn't speaking on Fox News but instead at a meeting of OAS foreign ministers and she was actually speaking about events in Venezuela, where bonapartist dictator Hugo Chavez recently shut down a hostile TV network and threatened to do the same to others.

Irony accomplished.

For his part, Chavez's representative compared Bush to ho hum Hitler, and not favorably either. Still, considering that Chavez had previously referred to Bobo as the Devil, some say this could actually be a sign that Chavez wants better relations with the country whose purchases of his oil finance his revolution.

May 04, 2007

¿Quien es mas macho? Swinford vs. Schroeder Edition

Swinford pulled his little stunt over HB13 which he says Texas desperately needs. He's wrong. Texas desperately needs more funding for law enforcement in the Valley. It needs to be done through DPS in a rational way. It doesn't need to be under the control of a man as incompetent and stupid as 39%. Via Kronberg at Quorum Report comes this nugget that Swinford would sooner let the bill die than do the right thing for his fellow Texans.

An amendment Swinford said he could not accept is moving Homeland Security operations out of the Governor’s office. Swinford said he would kill his bill rather than allow that because the arrangements he has made with members of the Texas congressional delegation preclude such a move.

“I told Jessica, I will kill this bill. I’m not going to risk $100 million over somebody’s pettiness,” Swinford said.

October 27, 2006

Young Republicans give Sex Advice to Porn Website

Nerve.com has some of the best articles around (yes, I read it for the articles!), but this takes the cake. In honor of Election season, Nerve has come out with it's Politics edition with one of the first articles being their weekly advice column being "Sex Advice from....Republican Activists."

The first thing I noticed about this is, well, all the interviewees are under the age of 28. What could they possibly know about sex! (Oops, sorry about that 24, you're excluded - I swear!...) The second was Nerve throwing them softballs! I mean, come on, some of those questions are juvenile...

October 10, 2006

Texas Prisons Rule

MASON, Texas (AP) - Three county inmates in the jail here lay on their bunks, not saying much.

They wore pink jumpsuits and pink slippers, and one was wrapped in pink sheets. They were surrounded by pink bars and pink walls.

They were not comfortable.

So here's the real deal:

Is it just me, or is it funny that crime is actually deterred because of the threat of...dun dun dun...pink jail walls and pink jumpsuits?

"I'm not going outside in these things. It's a good deterrent because I don't want to wear them anymore."

"You can make that two," another inmate said from a different cell.

"You can probably make it three or four," the inmate added.

...

Low got the idea of pink jumpsuits from a sheriff in Arizona, Joe Arpaio, who bought pink boxers to keep inmates from stealing the underwear and other clothing. In Mason, Low dyed the jumpsuits and slippers pink, and the color later bled to sheets, underwear and other articles during washings.

Low, who was a deputy in Mason before being elected sheriff, estimated the re-offense rate in the county is down 70 percent since he switched to pink jumpsuits for the inmates. He also said there have been no fights between inmates in the jail since it was painted.

"I wanted to stop re-offenders," Low said. "They don't want to wear them. Working inmates get a choice to work outside or sit inside, and some choose to sit inside because they don't want people to see them. They would rather stay upstairs."

Texas being the most fucked up state there is death penalty wise doesn't do it. But pink...lookout. PINK IS THE NEW LAW, BITCH

September 15, 2006

¿Quien es mas macho? Todd Staples o Susan Combs

That's right, kids! Another edition of ¿Quien es mas macho?, the spot where we compare two ridiculous people... in an effort to, you know, make them look even more ridiculous. The victims subjects this week? None other than rather shitty (in my half drunk opinion... call it carryover from last night's 'celebration') State Senator (R-Pilgrim's Pride, Cintra-Zachry) Todd 'Giant Freak Head' Staples and current Ag Commissioner Susan '...and then he touched her in her special place' Combs. Susan had to take a break from her busy schedule of attending fundraisers and not really doing a damn thing to help agriculture in Texas to attend the photoshoot and we'd like to thank her for that (not aything else though because she hasn't done much for us).

Here's Susan with Pickles (Susan's the tall one). Don't they make an adorable couple? It's just me, you say? Oh... well, that's what I think and I don't see your name on the post, now do I?

While Susan may be wearing a smart suit (seriously, out of the all the Republican's I think she dresses most sensibly. From here it almost looks like a real Chanel suit. Almost.) I think she's a total stud here with Pickles and I'm pretty sure she could make Todd her bitch. Easily.

Versus

Here's Todd on a horse. Is that fear I see in those beady little eyes buried in his ginormous face? Probably. I don't think I've seen anything this uncomfortable since that time a friend of mine sent out the wrong pictures on her Christmas cards. I know this photo is supposed to make Todd look like a real Texan but you can probably pick up the shine on his boots from a satellite photo. I LOVE how it's also indoors so Todd can't get into too much trouble. Not that the poor nag he's sitting on has the energy to buck him off.

I thought about doing Todd vs. Hank, but that's just mean since Hank is, well , a man. Even still, I think Combs could easily take him in a fight... don't let that O'Keefe she's standing in front of fool you, folks. She's all about being tough. Just ask farmers and ranchers all over the State who can't get her to do shit. She calls it tough love. I call it dereliction of duty, but that's just me.

August 11, 2006

Bush and Rove want a war. Let's give it to them!

As both Bush's minister of propoganda, Tony Snowjob and their newest ally, Jobenedict Arnoldman, have made it clear, the regime plans to use the endless threat of terrorism to smear Democrats as the midterm elections approach. Their cynical exploitation of the conveniently-timed liquid explosives on a plane scare should be no surpirse.

Democrats must answer these attacks by throwing the War on Terror right back at the GOP. Every day we need to shout:

FIVE YEARS LATER---WHERE'S OSAMA?

Less than five years after Pearl Harbor brought the United States into World War Two, our enemies' armies were destroyed, their cities in ashes, their criminal leaders either dead or in prison.

FIVE YEARS LATER---WHERE'S OSAMA?

Bush's War on Terror has been nothing but an embarrassing failure. Afghanistan still has yet to climb out the pit of anarchy; Al Quaeda is once again active in the Horn of Africa, and we're supposed to be scared that someone might bring lipstick or toothpaste in their carryon luggage.

FIVE YEARS LATER---WHERE'S OSAMA?

Even if half the people in this country still believe Bush's lies that Saddam had WMDs, sixty percent of us know want us out of Iraq. And every day the number of us turning against this fiasco, which has not made us safer but instead made the world a more dangerous place, grows.

FIVE YEARS LATER---WHERE'S OSAMA?

Take part in the uprising against Bush's Reign of Bullshit. If you go to see Oliver Stone's new movie World Trade Center, why not shout out at the end of it

July 01, 2006

¿quien es mas macho?

(We promise, another edition of Ask A... relatively soon, which is best defined as when we decide on who or what we will offer up to you. You could also interpret 'soon' to mean 'when we sober up' and be perfectly accurate.

Quit bitching, it's not atractive.)

New Segment Time! It's the Most Macho Deathmatch where you decide who is the most macho of our contestants. This time around we have two titans of Texas politics, Governor Rick Perry vs. Congresswoman Sheila Jackson-Lee.