What’s On Tonight: Padma or McHale? Who Cares? We All Win

Survivor (CBS) — What is wrong with these people? Did they not see last season? When Boston Rob won? Anybody who had a lick of sense would’ve taken the first opportunity to vote off the returning players, Ozzie and Coach. Now, they’ve let Coach — a mentally compromised man — run the show, and Ozzie is in an even better position on Redemption Island.

I Hate My Teenage Daugther (Fox) — But not as much as I hate this show.

The Soup: If this didn’t satiate your Joel McHale fix, then a new episode of “The Soup” ought to quench it. I’m pretty sure he won’t take his shirt off, though. But he might ride a unicorn while wearing a Rainbow Brite outfit.

Top Chef: I love “Top Chef.” It’s probably my favorite reality show, but this season there’s TOO MUCH Texas. Stop it with the chili and the steaks. If I wanted to watch someone make chili or steak, I’d tell my wife to get in the kitchen. And then she’d either laugh at me or kick my ass, depending on her mood.

The Funniest Commercials of the Year (TBS) — You could sit through 20 minutes of commercials to watch an hour long show about commercials, or you could just read this post, which contains the same commercials without the commercial interruptions.