Friendboat

October 20, 2010

I'm not a great morning mother. You know those gals who are all happiness and light in the morning? I am more grumpy and grey. I come by this honestly. My father is also not a morning person....growing up he and I had a pact, we tried not to speak before 10am. I digress...

So, this morning as I am waking everyone, making breakfast, finding clothes, getting homework packed back in the backpacks etc... LuLu gets toothpaste on her last clean uniform shirt. Where are the other clean uniform shirts? In the dryer at her Dad's house.

CoCo is upset because this means a detour to their Dad's house and will mean they will be a few minutes late to school. So, when we finally get to school they stage a mutiny at the door saying that I must go inside with them.

Hmmm....unshowered. No Makeup. Hair askew. SCARY! Don't the women in the offices of schools get special training on dealing with people like me? I grudginly made my way to the door to get buzzed into the fortress of Saint Whotheheck. The principal took my statement about why my children were three minutes late. CoCo went off to class without smooching me (!!). LuLu and MiMi both gave me an enthusiastic send off (the principal actually walked MiMi down to her class). And I was back out the door without scaring any of the innocent schoolchildren with my appearance. I bound back out to my car.

The doors to my car are locked.

The keys to my car are in it.

Just then, like an angel, Amy O pulled up next to me. She was fresh as a daisy. Dressed in clean, pressed clothing, her blond hair was gorgeously quaffed, her daughters sitting perfectly in her sparkling mininvan. I even caught a fleeting glimpse of her matching socks (show off). After she deposited her middle daughter in the school she came out and saw my distress.

She hugged me. She let me use her cell phone to call onstar. My doors were unlocked in a few seconds.

She left me with a promise of lunch soon and off she went (with her youngest daughter in tow). Probably not realizing that she was the first bright spot in my day.

January 23, 2009

Lynette is a fellow midwesterner who is completely charming and original. I always know I can go to her blog for a chuckle. I also like the fact that she entered my contest right away. Have you entered yet? Anyway, she has graciously agreed to be interviewed by me today. Go here to see that. And she is interviewing me today here on my little blog:

1) If you could choose 1 person (celebrity or other) to spend the day with who would it be and why? And don't feel obligated to pick me even thought I know it's tough not to. LOL!

Good Question. I think I would spend the day with President Obama. I have some things I would like him to do and I can be very convincing in person (if not on my blog). What would I ask him?

First, I would ask him to make me the United States first Blogger Laureat. And is it okay if I mention to all of you that on Inauguration Day of all the lovely inauguration speakers and prayers and speech givers the only one I didn't get was the poet? What the hell was she talking about? She's no Billy Collins is she? It's not okay for me to mention that? No? I'll shut up.

2) I've been reading your blog for awhile now and have seen your hair go from one extreme to another (in a good way of course). What has been your favorite hairstyle and how long does it take you to fix it in a typical morning?

What the heck is a typical morning Lynette? I use every ounce of energy I have to try and get me and the princesses "presentable" by the time we leave the house in the morning. Sometimes that means I get a shower. Sometimes it does not.

I use exactly how much time I have that particular morning...anywhere from roughly .23 seconds to a minute and a half. I brush it. I bunch it and I spray it. Sometimes it looks good (think Laura Bush) and sometimes it looks bad (think Margaret Thatcher on crack).

Ummm...as for my favorite hairstyle. It was in the eighties when "mall hair" was at it's height (literally). I had some seriously big hair. I am not proud of the ozone I was responsible for destroying with the aqua-net I used but I LOVED that hair.

3) What has been your most memorable birthday that you have celebrated (without tears)?

Well, it wasn't even my birthday. The most memorable was when Lola turned forty and we flew to Las Vegas. We met Elton John. We did the spa. We wore bikinis. We had fun right up until Lola got deathly ill....and I ended up pushing her through the airport on the way home in a wheelchair. We keep threatening to do a "re-do". That was the most memorable.

4) Can you name one thing that you've always aspired to do in life, but haven't felt the courage to do it? And if so, do you see yourself ever following through with it?

When I was little i told everyone that I was going to be President of the United States. I really thought I would like that job. I still think I would like that job. Unfortunately, I could never put up with the scrutiny that is required for that job....not just for me but my entire family. Too difficult. I may run for President of the Internet, would that count?

5) Do you currently have any pets? What was your favorite pet growing up? Would your daughters each like their own pair of dwarf hamsters? We've got 6 of them. No, I'm not kidding!

Wow. Such a generous offer. Actually, I am all full up with pets.

Bibble the Small - Shih Tzu

Cinderella the Loud - Persian white

Flash the Quick - Persian black

No more pets Lynette. Thank you anyway. My favorite pet of all time was a cat named Oscar. He was a cute black domestic short hair with a lot of personality. I loved that cat. He loved me too. I still get a little choked up thinking about him...but not as choked up as I get when I think of you living with rodents.

Thanks for the Interview Lynette. We should do this every so often because it's fun and enlightening.

January 10, 2009

Last night the ladies in Stepford went out for dinner/drinks for the last time as a complete unit. One of our own is flying the coop (or leaving the coo-coo's nest depending on your view of it).

Chi-Chi and I moved into Stepford within weeks of one another four years ago. We've weathered some very, very interesting times together. And when I say "interesting" you know that I mean crappy, right? She's been a trooper through all of it.

She likes my kitchen, but not my landscaping. She likes my dog, but not my dog den. She likes me, and forgives me my flaws (there are some, ahem). In other words, she's the perfect friend.

Here are the top ten things I am going to miss about Chi-Chi:

10. Her sunny personality even when things are crappy interesting.

9. Her "just because" starbucks runs or friendship cards.

8. Her fire pit, her all-inclusive get togethers, her hostessing in general.

7. The cat with boobs cookie jar (I don't even have a picture, sniff).

6. Her easy laugh.

5. Her leadership in all things "rich lady"...the cleaning woman, the lawn service, the first classiness.

4. Her willingness to admit that things aren't always perfect in her world.

3. Her willingness to bring up shocking topics at dinner (it's so shocking I can't even tell you what she brought up last night....it rhymes with bibrator).

2. Her comments on my blog. Oh wait. She could comment from Colorado, but will she?

January 04, 2009

Portia is my neighbor who is possibly the luckiest person on the planet. Remember when she won those Oprah tickets and we got to sit in the very.last.row? That's just one example of her luck.....she also lives next door to me. lucky. lucky.

Last year she bought a Sweepstaking newsletter. It had been her hobby for years and when she found out the sweepstaking newsletter was for sale, she thought, "why not?"

So, now I never see her because she works a day job and works 24/7 on her newsletter Sweepsheet is recognized nationally as the very best in sweepstaking newsletters. She's been interviewed on Good Morning America and is about to be featured in Good Housekeeping. Cool, eh?

I have to say that I knew that it was Portia's hobby but I had no idea what it was about. And if you are not looking for another addictive hobby (other than reading this blog) then don't click on the link and join. It is too much fun.

Basically what they do is provide all of the sweepstakes that are currently going on nationally, what the rules are, and how you can enter. They have an entire section for online sweepstakes. It's pretty addictive....I haven't won anything yet but I've only been trying for 30 days. Do I seem impatient?

Seriously, I would be remiss if I didn't share this with all of you. Enjoy.

It was great while it lasted but unfortunately when you refused to come to Chicago this weekend (with the lame excuse about your step-brothers wedding) Lola and I found someone to fill the void. She's not as pretty as you or as funny but she seems to like hanging out with us.

August 04, 2008

A weekend or so ago my two best buds and I went to New Buffalo, Michigan for the weekend to get away from our families and spend a little time bonding.

You remember my two best friends, right? Lola and Buddah. Buddah and I went to college together while Lola and I met later in the school of hard knocks.

Anyway, we did a little of everything: eating, drinking, laughing, shopping, and even crashing a wedding. Yes, a wedding....well the reception anyway. It was Buddah's cousin's wedding to which she had not been invited, it's kind of a long story but the wind up is: if she'd been formally invited they would have to add an additional 50 people to the guest list. So, while her aunt told her to come by (with her two friends)she was not formally invited which technically made us crashers, right?

Mayor Daley (the mayor of Chicago) was there. We didn't speak to one another but I think we had a moment. I was trying to indicate to him that he had a bug in his hair ( a beetle of some kind) and he clearly was annoyed by my silent attempts to communicate with him until someone standing next to him actually pulled the bug off of him. He din't say "thank you" but I personally had a sense that I'd fulfilled my civic duty for the evening.

April 24, 2008

On Tuesday night of this very week I saw both of my very best friends, Lola and Buddah.

Not together.

That would have been too easy.

I was at a Employment Law Forum downtown and Buddah was in town for Sales training. Lola had no excuse to go downtown except that she knew that me and Buddah were going to be there.

I stayed overnight at a very swishy hotel (the same one that Buddah was staying at).

Due to circumstances beyond my control here is how my evening went:

6:15 Buddah at the bar for drink (I literally had to RUN from my conference to get there to see her for 10 minutes before she left to see Wicked with her team)

6:25 Applied lipstick

6:40 met Lola at Sushi Samba for a very cool dinner (get it, they don't cook sushi). Buddah did not attend (much to Lola's dismay) because she thought "mandatory fun" with her work team meant her. Silly girl.

9:45pm got dropped back at swishy hotel by Lola who inexplicably does a Gilbert Godfrey impression.

10:30pm I was busy dozing in one of those too-comfy-to-just-lay-on-without-falling-asleep beds that high end hotels always have, when Buddah called to tell me to, "get my ass back to the bar". It was a serious flashback to college days.

12:46 I got back to my room with Buddah (who had a roomate back in her own room- ostensively so her company could afford Wicked tickets) and we both went immediately to sleep after laughing hysterically about everything and nothing.

5am - Wednesday dawns with a view of Lake Michigan and Buddah snoring in the other bed. Ha! There aren't words.