Featuring Women's History, Women Authors, Writing In General, And Author Interviews. Home of the Teresa Thomas Bohannon author of the Historical, Paranormal Romance, Shadows In A Timeless Myth, the Regency Romance Novel, A Very Merry Chase, and the illustrated version of Jane Austen's posthumously published Juvenilia, The Widow's Tale.

Saturday, December 28, 2013

he many thousands who have laughed over the inimitable Artemus Ward's
essays in natural history, such as "The elephant has four legs—one on
each corner; he eats hay and cakes," might little suspect the analogy
which exists between these humorous trifles and the serious works of the
zoological pundits of the seventeenth century. If anything, far greater
is the humour to be extracted from the older writers; especially when we
recollect that their books and treatises on animal creation were
regarded with infinite respect—veneration even—by young and old, wise
and unwise, noble and plebeian, who diligently consulted them.

Unhappily, most of these productions are in Latin, and even Artemus Ward
in Latin would probably lose the fine savour of merriment by which his
good things are distinguished unless the translator relied upon puns, as
they do in the Westminster plays. But the pictures in Aldrovandus, in
Albertus Magnus, in Johannes Jonstonus, and in Conrad Gesner
speak—shall we not rather say, shriek?—for themselves; and we were
recently fortunate in coming across a large volume in which the best in
all these books is gathered together, with English letterpress, for the
benefit of a young English prince who lived and died early in the
seventeenth century. It was in 1607 that Edward Topsell published his
version of "Four-footed Beastes." Gesner's chef d'œuvre and those
of the other writers named had been on the bookshelves for many years.

The volume in question belonged to the eldest son and heir of James I.,
and has his coat of arms on the cover. Next, it enjoys the distinction
of having some of the plates coloured by the Royal hand, its owner being
then in his thirteenth year. But, best of all, its pictures and
letterpress describe for us beyond the possibility of error, and in the
clearest and most perspicuous way, the wonderful quadrupeds which
flourished on the face of the earth in Prince Henry's boyhood.

Beside this curious volume how tame are even the most interesting of
modern natural history books! Let us begin with the king of beasts.

"Lyons bones have no marrow in them and are so hard that they will
strike fire. Their neck is made of one stiffe bone, without any
vertebras. They have five claws on the hinder feet and the balls of
their eyes are black. Lyons eat but once in two days and drink in like
manner. Formerly in England a Lyon could tell noble blood from base."

Can it be that this virtue was confined merely to the lions caged in the
Heralds' College? Our Beast Booke goes on to inform us that in certain
districts lions were killed, not with spears or cannon-balls, but "with
the powder of decayed fish." From whence may we not have a faint
glimmering of the reason why Jamrach's was originally situated so much
nearer to Billingsgate Market than to Piccadilly?

"THERE IS A VARIETY OF LYON WITH HUMAN FACES."

"There is a variety of Lyon with human faces. As for the rest, the taile
of a Lyon is very long, which they shake oftentimes, and by beating
their sides therewith they provoke themselves to fight. The nether part
of this taile is full of hairs and gristles, and some are of opinion
that there is therein a little sting wherewithall the Lyon pricketh
itselfe."

"The Lamia is a wild Beast, having several parts outwardly resembling an
Oxe and inwardly a mule. The Lamia has a woman's face and very
beautifull, also very large and comely shapes such as cannot be imitated
by the art of any painter, having a very excellent colour in their
fore-parts without wings, and no other voice but hissing like Dragons;
but they are the swiftest of foot of all earthly beasts, so as none can
escape them by running."

"THE LAMIA HAS A WOMAN'S FACE AND VERY BEAUTIFULL."

The chief prey of the Lamia was, it appears, members of the human
species, preferably males. By its passing beauty (or, to judge by the
pictorial illustration, one would say rather by its amazing novelty) it
would entice men, and when they had "come neare, devoure and kill them."
In fact, these lamias were so inordinately fond of their favourite
refreshment that in one district "a certain crooked place in Libia neare
the Sea-shore full of sand was like to a sandy Sea and all the neighbor
places thereunto are deserts." A painful and humiliating lack of men has
often been noticed at our modern seaside resorts.

"The hinder parts of this beast," concludes our author, "are like unto a
goate, his fore-legs like a Beares and his body scaled all over like a
Dragon."

Next is a contemporary picture of a Tiger.

And now we come to the Wolf. His custom in those halcyon days of natural
history was, as now, to go in troops. But we read: "Their necks are
pressed together, so that they cannot stir it, to look about, but they
must move their whole bodies. They fall upon their prey, devouring hair,
bones and all. When they are to fight in great herds they fill their
bellies with earth." But this is as nothing. "When they are to pass over
Rivers, they joyn tails; loaded with that weight they are not easily
thrown down and the floods can hardly carry them away, being joined
together. The breath of a Wolf is so fiery, that it will melt and
consume the hardest bone in his stomack."

A TIGER.

We have all of us heard of the Harpy. Below is a likeness of one that
speaks for itself.
Lizards are always interesting. "There was a lizzard 8 cubits long
brought to Rome from Ætheopia by the command of a Cardinal of Lisbon and
the mouth of it was so wide that a child might be put into it.... Put
alive into a new earthen vessel and boyle'd with 3 Sextaryes of Wine and
one Cyathus, it is excellent food for one sick of the Pthisick, if he
drink of it in the morning fasting."

A HARPY.

We must not suppose that this operation would kill the lizard; the
difficulty would be how to procure a vessel to stew so large a lizard.
Lizard-pots are made much smaller nowadays. We dare say that the worthy
Mrs. Beeton, in her most ingenious moments, never dreamt of one above
four, or at most six, cubits deep.

Writers of our own time who have never gone in for a course of logic
rarely condescend to complete perspicuity. They take things too often
for granted. This is not old Topsell's way. "The Arabian sheep have a
very broad tail," he says, "and the fatter it is the thicker it will
be." We learn, too, what we should never have suspected had the author
not plainly stated it, that some tails "have been seen above 150lbs. in
weight." Albertus Magnus saw "a Ram that had 4 great Horns growing on
his head and two long ones on his legges, that were like to Goat's
Horns."

Here are some other gems from our Beast Booke:—

"Subus is an amphibion, with two Horns: he follows shoals of fish
swimming in the Sea, Lobsters, Pagri, and Oculatae, are fishes that love
him; but he cares for none of their love, but makes them all his prey.

THE SPHINX OR SPHINGA.

"The Sphinx or Sphinga is of the kinde of Apes, having his body rough
like Apes, having the upper part like a woman and their visage much like
them. The voice very like a man's, but not articular, sounding as if one
did speak hastily or with sorrow. Their haire browne or swarthy colour.
They are bred in India and Ethyopia. The true Sphinx is of a fierce
though a tameable nature and if a man do first of all perceive or
discerne of these natural Sphinges, before the beast discerne or
perceive the man, he shall be safe; but if the beast first descrie the
man, then is it mortal to the man.

THE MANTICHORA.

"The Mantichora is bred among the Indians, having a treble row of teeth
beneathe and above, whose greatnesse, roughnesse and feete are like a
Lyons, his face and ears like unto a mans, his eyes grey and collour
red, his taile like the taile of a scorpion of the earth, armed with a
sting, casting forth sharp pointed quills, his voice like the voice of a
small trumpet or pipe, being in course as swift as a Hart."

Then follows further description of the Mantichora. This singular
combination of lion, man, scorpion, and porcupine was implicitly
believed in by all the natural history writers up to Goldsmith's day,
and we are not sure that that pleasing but gullible scribe did not,
privately at least, accord its existence full credence.

Leigh Hunt, in his Autobiography, describes the extraordinary effect
which a sight of this beast had upon him when he encountered it in an
old folio during his childhood. The Mantichora, he says, "unspeakably
shocked me. It had the head of a man, grinning with rows of teeth, and
the body of a wild beast, brandishing a tail armed with stings. It was
sometimes called by the ancients Martichora. But I did not know that. I
took the word to be a horrible compound of man and tiger. The beast
figures in Pliny and the old travellers. Appolonius takes a fearful joy
in describing him. 'Mantichora,' says old Morell—'bestia horrenda'—'a
brute fit to give one the horrors.' The possibility of such creatures
being pursued never occurred to me. Alexander, I thought, might have
been encountered while crossing the Granicus, and elephants might be
driven into the sea, but how could anyone face a beast with a man's
head?" Leigh Hunt goes on to describe how the Mantichora impressed his
whole childhood. Doubtless the sensations of the eighteenth-century
child were the same felt by the early seventeenth century Prince Henry.
The Mantichora was the bête noire of the Royal nursery, we may depend
upon it.
Scarcely less dreadful was the Collogruis, whose picture is given on the
next page.

How many of us have heard of the Colus?

"There is," we read, "among the Scithians and Sarmatians a foure-footed
wild beast called Colus, being in quantitie and stature betwixt a
Ramnie and a Hart and dusky white coloured, but the young ones yellow."
The real peculiarity of the Colus, which makes every true lover of
quadrupeds regret its extinction, is described as follows: "Her manner
is to drinke by the holes in her nostrils, whereby she snuffeth up
aboundance of water and carrieth it in her head, so that she will live
in dry pastures remote from all moisture and great season, quenching her
thirst by that cisterne in her head." Imagination conjures up a huge
drove of Colii, blissfully encamped in the midst of the Sahara,
astonishing the passing Bedouins by their sagacity and the amazing
cisterns in their craniums. There was no use trying to capture them, so
fleet and nimble were they, unless, indeed, the hunter had taken the
precaution to arm himself with a flute or a timbrel. In that case he had
only to strike up a few airs and it was all up with the poor Colus. He
would fall down with weakness, and a simple blow with a staff sufficed
to dispatch him. He made excellent eating; flavoured, we suppose, by the
contents of the cranial cistern afore described.

THE COLLOGRUIS.

"The Camelopard or Giraffe is a beaste full of spots. He hath two little
hornes growing on his head the colour of iron, his eies rolling and
growing, his mouth but small like a hart's; his tongue is neare three
foot long. The pace of this beast differeth from all other in the world,
for he doth not move his right and left foote one after another, but
both together, and so likewise the other, whereby his whole body is
removed at every step or straine."
We must perforce skip the descriptions of the three kinds of Apes—Ape
Satyre, the Ape Norwegian, and the Ape Pan. Then there are such
creatures as the Axis, the Alborach, the Cacus, the Allocamell, and the
Tragelaphus.
And how shall we tell of the Dictyes, the Crucigeran, the Gulon, and the
Gorgon? Then there are dissertations on those fearful quadrupeds the
Orynx and the Tarbarine.

THE POEPHAGUS.

But the Poephagus ought to detain the modern student a moment, as it
must often have engrossed Prince Henry by the hour.

"This great beaste whose everie hair is two cubitts in length & yet
finer than a man's, is one of the fearfullest creatures in the World:
for if he perceive him to be but looked at by anybody he taketh to his
heels as fast as he can goe."

The cause of his fright is his tail, which is much sought after by the
natives to bind up their hair. When the hunted Poephagus can "no longer
avoyde the hunter then doth he turne himselfe, hiding his taile, &
looketh upon the face of the hunter with some confidence, gathering his
wits together, as if to face out that he had no tayle, & that the
residue of his body were not worth looking after."

Sly Poephagus! But his stratagem is in vain. For "they take off the
skinne and the taile," perhaps not even killing him, and so leaving the
luckless Poephagus to go roaming about the country skinless and
tailless—a piteous sight. But stay. "Volateranus relateth this
otherwise, that the beast biteth off his own taile and so delivereth
himself from the hunter, knowing that he is not desired for any other
cause." Can we not conjure up the scene for ourselves?

"Hunter: So sorry to trouble you, but your taile or your life!

"Poephagus: No trouble at all, I assure you. Allow me (bites off his
taile). Pray accept it with my compliments (hunter bows and
retires)."

"The Neades were certain beastes whose voice was soterrible that they
shook the earth therewith," but the Strepficeros, though endowed with a
more resonant title, was a very simple, inoffensive quadruped after all.

A CYNOCEPHALE.

"The Cepus was a four-footed beast having a face like a Lyon & some part
of the body like a panther, being as big as a wild goat or Roe-buck, or
as one of the dogs of Erithrea & a long taile, the which such of them
as having tasted flesh will eat from their own bodies."

"The Calitrich had a long beard and a large taile." You perceive the
early naturalists set great store by an animal's caudal appendage. It
gave them scope for their descriptive powers.

And now let us learn something about the Cynocephale. "The Cynocephales
are a kind of Apes, whose heads are like Dogges & their other part like
a mans. Some there are which are able to write & naturally to discerne
letters which kind the Priests bring into their Temples, & at their
first entrance, the Priest bringeth him a writing Table, a pencil & Inke
that so by seeing him write he may make by all whether he be of the
right kind & the beast quickly sheweth his skill. The Nomades, people of
Ethiopia & the nations of Mentimori live upon the milk of Cynocephals,
keeping great heards of them, & killing all the males."

"The Elk is a four-footed beast commonly found in Scandinavia. His upper
lip hangs out so long that he cannot eat but going backwards. He is
subject to the falling sicknesse, the remedy he hath is to lift up the
right claw of the hinder foot & put it to his left ear. It holds the
same virtue if you cut it off."

Of the ram we are told that "for six winter months he sleeps on his
right side; but after the vernal equinoctiall he rests on his right.
Ælianus hath discovered this, but the butchers deny it."

"The Camel hath a manifold belly, either because he hath a great body:
or, because he eats Thorny & Woody substances, God hath provided for the
concoction. Puddle water is sweet to him, nor will he drink river water,
till he hath troubled it with his foot. He lives a hundred years,
unlesse the Ayre agree not with him. When they are on a journey they do
not whip them forward: but they sing to them, whereby they run so fast
that men can hardly follow them."

CAMELS.

Modern zoologists must regret the extinction of the sixteenth-century
She-goat, which, according to Prince Henry's natural history, "see as
well by night as day, wherefore if those that are blind in the night eat
a Goats liver they are granted sight. They breathe out of their eares
and nostrils."

Farther along, the national animal of the greatest of British dominions
beyond the seas is thus described:—
"The Beaver is a most strong creature to bite, he will never let go
his teeth that meet, before he makes the bones crack. His hinder feet
are like a Gooses and his fore-feet like an Apes. His fat tail is
covered with a scaly skin, & he uses for a rudder when he pursues fish.
He comes forth of his holes in the night: & biting off boughs of Trees
about the Rivers, he makes his houses with an upper loft. When they are
cut asunder they are very delightsome to see; for one lies on his back &
hath the boughs between his legges & others draw him by the tail to
their cottage.

"A Baboon is a Creature with a head like a dog, but in shape like a man;
he will fish cunningly, for he will dive all day, & bring forth
abundance of fish."

Here is a picture of a Hippopotamus or Sea-Horse devouring a crocodile
tail first.

A HIPPOPOTAMUS DEVOURING A CROCODILE.

"The Elephant is a stranger with us, but that the Indians & other places
have them in common. The King of the Palibroti had 90,000 of them. Many
strange things are spoken of them. It is certain that of old time they
carried Castles of armed men into the Field. In his heart, says
Aldrovandus, he hath a wonderful big bone. Aristotle maintains that he
hath three Stomacks. It is most certain (continues the careful
chronicler) that in the Kingdom of Malabar they talk together, & speak
with man's voice. There was, saith Ocafta, in Cochin an Elephant, who
carried things to the Haven & laboured in the sea-faring matters: when
he was weary the Governor of the place did force him to draw a galley
from the Haven which he had begun to draw, into the sea: the Elephant
refused it the Governor gave him good words, & at the last entreated him
to do it for the King of Portugal, thereupon (it is hardly credible) the
elephant was moored, & repeated these two words clearly, Hoo, Hoo,
which in the language of Malabar is, I will, I will, & he presently
drew the ship into the Sea.... They learn things so eagerly that Pliny
says that an Elephant that was something dull, & was often beat for not
learning well, was found acting his part by moon-light, & some say that
Elephants will learn to write & read. One of them learned to describe
the Greek letters, & did write in the same tongue these words, I myself
writ this."

"But," concludes the zoologist, conscious of having clinched the matter
by this last proof, "I will say no more."
"The Ichneumon is a creature in Egypt with a long tail like a Serpents.
He is an enemy to the Crocodile; for when he observes him sleeping he
rolles himself in clay, & goes into his mouth, & so into his belly &
eats his liver, & then leaps forth again."

Loaded with all his zoological learning we can understand how Prince
Henry became a very bright little boy, far in advance of his years. We
can also dimly perceive why he died so young.

THE ICHNEUMON.

It is not given to every youth—nor to every prince—to devour such
marvels and live in peace and content at home or at Court, surrounded by
the conventions of everyday English life. But had he survived this
accumulation of wisdom, the realm would surely have boasted under King
Henry IX. a "Zoo" compared with which our present establishment,
excellent as it is, would have been paltry indeed. But it is too late to
repine. The mantichora, the lamia, the gryphon, and the poephagus are
presumably extinct, while as for our lions, bears, giraffes, and the
rest of the "foure-footed beastes," these appear to have miserably
abandoned all those curious traits which rendered them glorious in
little Prince Henry's days, and which, we trust, will long reflect
lustre on their past.

Smiles & Good Fortune,Teresa************************************It
is not wealth one asks for, but just enough to preserve one’s dignity,
to work unhampered, to be generous, frank and independent. W.
Somerset Maugham (1874-1965) Of Human Bondage, 1915

Smiles & Good Fortune,
Teresa
***********************************
It is not wealth one asks for, but just enough to preserve one’s dignity, to work unhampered, to be generous, frank and independent. W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965) Of Human Bondage, 1915

The Gifts Are All Free

However, If you would like to enter to win

a $10.00 Gift Card from Amazon

plus

Winner's Choice... the Nook or Kindle versions

or a PDF copy of my old-fashioned Regency RomanceA Very Merry Chasewith a personalized inscription, orthe Nook, Kindle version or a PDF copy of my Paranormal Romance Shadows In A Timeless Mythwith a personalized inscription,

Smiles & Good Fortune,
Teresa
************************************
It is not wealth one asks for, but just enough to preserve one’s dignity,
to work unhampered, to be generous, frank and independent.
W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965) Of Human Bondage, 1915

Thursday, December 12, 2013

THE MAGIC VIOLINEight-year old Melina wants to become a good violinist. When she loses
confidence, her Rumanian teacher Andrea decides it’s time for a magic
dose of self-esteem. A mysterious old woman in rags gives Melina some
curious advice; a violinist Russian hamster, who happens to live under
the old woman’s hat, offers her a virtuoso performance; a shooting star
fills her with hope on Christmas Eve. Is Melina actually playing better,
or has her violin become magic? Who is the old woman in the town
square, and why does she wear the same emerald ring as her teacher
Andrea?

FREDERICO, THE MOUSE VIOLINISTFrederico is a tiny mouse with a big dream: he wants to become a
violinist. Each day he watches as Stradivari makes his famous violins.
Each night, he sneaks into the workshop to play. But the violins are too
big! Then, unbeknown to Frederico, Stradivari sees him playing and
begins carving a tiny device. Could it be a famous Strad especially for
Frederico?

THE DOLL VIOLINISTFive days before Christmas, Emma is captivated by a doll in a shop
window. Each day, she sneaks out of the orphanage to check if it’s been
sold, but the shop owner, Madame Dubois, sends her away. Will the magic
of Christmas bring Emma, Madame Dubois, and the doll violinist together?ABC’s Children’s Picture Book Finalist!

Smiles & Good Fortune,
Teresa
************************************
It is not wealth one asks for, but just enough to preserve one’s dignity, to work unhampered, to be generous, frank and independent. W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965) Of Human Bondage, 1915

Sign up to sponsor the next Kindle Fire Giveaway:
http://www.iamareader.com/category/kindle-giveaway-sign-upsGiveaway Details
1 winner will receive their choice of an all new Kindle Fire 7" HDX (US Only - $229 value), $229 Amazon Gift Card or $229 in Paypal Cash (International).
There is a second separate giveaway for bloggers who post this giveaway on their blog. See details in the rafflecopter on how to enter to win the 2nd Kindle Fire HDX 7".
Ends 1/1/14
Open only to those who can legally enter, receive and use an Amazon.com Gift Code or Paypal Cash. Winning Entry will be verified prior to prize being awarded. No purchase necessary. You must be 18 or older to enter or have your parent enter for you. The winner will be chosen by rafflecopter and announced here as well as emailed and will have 48 hours to respond or a new winner will be chosen. This giveaway is in no way associated with Facebook, Twitter, Rafflecopter or any other entity unless otherwise specified. The number of eligible entries received determines the odds of winning. Giveaway was organized by Kathy from I Am A Reader, Not A Writer and sponsored by the participating authors & bloggers. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED BY LAW.

Smiles & Good Fortune,
Teresa
************************************
It is not wealth one asks for, but just enough to preserve one’s dignity, to work unhampered, to be generous, frank and independent.
W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965) Of Human Bondage, 1915

Hello and Welcome

I love women's history, but even more, I love women's historical fiction. Why? A favorite quote of mine about history in general and Women's History in particular, from perhaps the world's most famous Woman Author, sums it all up perfectly.

"I read it a little as a duty, but it tells me nothing that does not either vex or weary me. The quarrels of popes and kings, with wars or pestilences, in every page; the men all so good for nothing, and hardly any women at all—it is very tiresome: and yet I often think it odd that it should be so dull, for a great deal of it must be invention. The speeches that are put into the heroes' mouths, their thoughts and designs— the chief of all this must be invention, and invention is what delights me in other books."Catherine Morland in Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen.

Thank you for visiting,Teresa Thomas BohannonAuthor of A Very Merry ChaseAnd Shadows In A Timeless MythAvailable for Kindle, Nook & now...also in Large Print Paperback.PS: The links on this page that lead to pages (usually on Amazon) where purchases can be made, are affiliate links which help to support this blog.

Follow Us On Facebook

About Me

Teresa Thomas Bohannon is a published author, web designer, hosting & domain provider & (occasional) internet marketing consultant. Teresa founded Spun Silk Web Design in December of 1995 as one of the first free standing female owned web design firms in the country.
As of late, Teresa has returned to her roots, utilizing the exciting new world of online publishing to present a backlog of original novels and short stories to the world--beginning with A Very Merry Chase--a Regency romance novel which she originally wrote some 35 years ago. :) In late 2011 she published Shadows In A Timeless Myth a Paranormal Historical Fantasy/Romance/Horror Novel.
Teresa holds an MA in history--with a haphazardly obtained--concentration in women's studies. In addition, she is the Director of Human Resources for a non-profit agency.
Teresa's personal cause is revitalizing literacy by reading "with" children.