Sunday, January 29, 2012

Republican presidential candidate, former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, with his wife Callista, bow their heads in prayer during a campaign event at the The Villages, Sunday, Jan. 29, 2012, in Lady Lake, Fla. (AP Photo/Matt Rourke)

Uh oh, whoops! I only have myself to blame for this, because just the other day I admonished My Queen that OMG, she had to, had to, had to get her roots done.

So perhaps in a panic because she knew she was going to have to bow her head in public today, she got the hairdo recharged and... well, see for yourself:

Instead of just touching up the roots, some slipshod (local?) hairdresser went wayyyy overboard and redyed the Platinum Orb in its entirety, and it is FRIED. Chemical burns are clearly evident. Judging from wire photos, the coiffure vandalism happened either yesterday afternoon/evening or (more likely) this morning.

If she doesn't take better care of the Golden Helmet, she's going to have to get a real, actual helmet.

Also! She wore the same suit (but with a different top and different outlandishly expensive necklace) two days in a row. Callista!

Sheldon Adelson only has so much money to pour in... Romney's pockets are way deeper. The Gingrich campaign doesn't completely realize the power of the golden helmet, and I believe diverting funds away from it's maintenance is the reason the Gingrich campaign is in trouble. It's a judgment call, I understand, but seriously, without the serious kinky fabulousness that Callista embodies, all they've got is Newt's snark. And that, like the Golden Orb itself, is wearing thin.

Newtie needs a tailor and an on call cardiac surgeon, given his weight and age, he should be keeling over any time soon from a heart attack, he is getting morbidly obese.. Candidates are renown to gain weight on the Campaign trail, and he is no exception. This means his tailored suits before the campaign started are not fitting properly as he packs on the pounds.. Nice sexy double chin, it goes with the frumpy suit.

The poor dear's on the road. Does she not have a retinue? Did she risk the rough-and-tumble ministrations of some native denizen of my old home state? She has to be careful! The hairdressers of Palatka or Waldo or Howey-in-the-Hills or Mt Dora are more about the quantity than the quality.

And dry Florida winters are VERY tough on the hair, as I can speak from experience. She'll have different problems to deal with the further south she goes, but otherwise, she has to be careful she doesn't start sparking off like a Van der Graff generator!