Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Meltdown

Yes. I am blogging, Again. I don't have any huge events that are driving me to do this. In fact, this post doesn't even come with pictures. Mostly for "journal" purposes this post is about the progress of my prego state. All I have to say is, Be prepared. Ok, so Can I just say, I HATE being depressed! I hate the crying, I hate the way it all makes me feel. Today I had a meltdown. A Huge meltdown. One that drove me to calling Alex at work and bawling my eyes out at him for who knows how long. I wouldn't say its anything in particular, just RAGING pregnancy hormones, set off by Two darling energetic girly girls full of spunk and emotions, who could probably be related to a Tornado when it comes to my house. First off, I'm not looking for "pitty". I don't really think I am feeling sorry for myself either. Just keeping it real folks. I have two and a half months left of this, then I'll get a whole new set of "unfriendly" hormones. But lets not go there right now. Lets focus on the present, which seems to be switching from "blissful" Second trimester to the not so "fun" Third trimester. Comfort at night is becoming more and more impossible. I believe this little boy is going to be just as "energetic" as his big Sisters. He LOVES nights! All the "room" in there just drives him to doing TyBo all night long. I get to choose one side to lay on and with this I get to choose a nostril to breath out of. Now to my biggest problem. I'm pretty sure I'm severely anemic. I'm feeling it. I always get it, and the Dr.'s always make me start taking DOUBLE doses of Iron. If you've ever taken Iron, you know what that does to you, and its noooooo fun. So what do ya do? Today, I could probably use some iron because I feel like someone has fed me an antihistamine. Anyway, let me just say this. Despite all my complaining. All the tiredness. All the things I "suffer" with throughout my pregnancies, I truly believe this is what the Lord intended. When he kicked Adam and Eve out of the garden, and commanded them to "multiply and replenish the Earth" he knew this would be their biggest trial and biggest source of joy. I would never trade any of my kids for the option of not trying. I know so many who have difficult pregnancies, and others who don't. Every woman is given her fair share of "pain" when it comes to child bearing and rearing. For now, this is my trial, and I am trying my best to endure. I know that the brighter side of the tunnel is coming soon.

5 comments:

pregnancy is such a beautiful thing and such a trying thing as well. i totally understand the emotions that come along with being pregnant. unfortunately i will never experience that again, because of complications with my pregnancy with Peyton...but i am grateful for the experiences i did have even as trying as they were. i look back now and am so grateful for my pregnancy with him. keep your head up...as you know the last few months are the hardest! they seem to drag on and on and then you are looking at your 16 month old wondering where all the time went...how could they possibly be that old now? hope you have a better day tomorrow.

Oh sweetie, I feel for you. I am the biggest baby when it comes to my pregnancies. I cry, and cry some more. You only have 2 more months, and it will probably be here before you know it. Keep up the positive attitude you are a strong person, and before you know it you will have a little boy in your arms.

Oh Anna, aside from your vein problems you have described my pregnancies to a T. By posting this you have actually made me feel more normal and I am grateful for that. Sometimes I feel as though I should check myself into the loonie bin. But kids will be kids I guess. You are more than welcome to call me anytime to vent if it helps.