Johnson told authorities that he had flown only about four times in his life and that the Maui-bound flight was his first over water; that he had occupied himself first by reading in-flight magazines and then by filling out comment cards provided by the airline. He said he had lifted the phrase for the card “I thought I was going to die” from comedian Mike Myers, the affidavit said.

This guy fills out comment cards with references to a mid-90s SNL sketch and Gilligan’s Island. The brainless flight attendants and pilot freak out and turn the plane around. Dude should have known that he lives in a police state and that filling out non-threatening gag comment cards will not be tolerated.

The crime of interference with the performance and duties of a flight crew member or attendant carries a maximum penalty of 20 years in prison and a $250,000 fine.

The New York Times describing The Tea Baggers as a bad horror movie, “some version of “Hee Haw” meets “28 Days Later””.

I like the republicans a lot more than the democrats these days because while Obama just golfs while Rome burns, people like Palin, Michael Steele, and The Tea Bag Dancers are giving us beautiful, life-affirming comedy as everything collapses.