Friday, February 3, 2012

Real

In real life, I'm a bit of an introvert. Socializing doesn't particularly come easy to me. Small talk is not my thing. I've mentioned on this blog before that while I have a few precious, amazing friends who I can hang out with and feel completely at ease, for the most part, I have to gear myself up to go be social with people.

My Mom's Group is amazing--they are wonderful, welcoming women. But still, sometimes I feel a little out of the loop, which is probably just a by-product of the fact that I don't go to the same church as most of them do, so I just don't see everyone as often as they generally see each other. Still, it sometimes makes me feel insecure, which means that when they do invite me to come do something, often the safety and warmth of the couch seems much more appealing. It's expected. I fit there nicely...no pressure. No small talk. No wondering whether people like me. No finagling the budget so that I can afford dinner and drinks. It's much less effort to stay at home.

Still, over the past year there have been a few women who have really tried to invite me to things and to include me...to make me feel welcome, and to encourage me to come and be a part of things. I have so appreciated it.It has been a huge blessing to me. So, I try to step outside of my comfort zone--to go when invited (Lord knows I need to get out of the house more often) laugh and smile, even if it's a little uncomfortable for me right now. Because the only way to make friends, is to be a friend yourself...to give a little of yourself.

Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.

15 comments:

It is always refreshing to find women who feel this way. Because I always think that it's just me. I feel so socially awkward in moments like you describe, that it's easier to just avoid it all together. But I crave true, REAL friendships with other women. I haven't had that since I was in college, and those friends all live hours away.

Thanks for writing this! You definitely described just how I feel a lot of the time. Even my husband doesn't understand. I too have a handful of very close friends from the high school times. In college I never felt like I met too many genuine girls and while I stay in contact with my college friends I don't have the same relationship as I do with my childhood friends. Problem is that I no longer live where I grew up and they all do. I go back and forth between times that I crave true girl friendship where I live now and times where the effort seems too exhausting. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I lived in a small town and now I live in a big city. It may be a sterotype but I feel like "city folks: just are not as genuine and loyal. I am used to people doing what they say they will and I have had too many times where I have felt let down by friends here in the city. Wow that was long comment lol! :) Have a great weekend!

I could have written this about myself. I have 3 sisters that I'm extremely close to and I use that as not meeting new people. I now live on the other side of the country from them and I am definitely struggling with this. I just signed up for a Mom's group and now it's time to convince myself to follow through.

I take time to get to know - so I come across as shy (and maybe stand-offish?) at first, but I'm just a little uncomfortable when I'm out of my element. So I totally get this - I have to push myself to choose a night out with new friends over a night on the couch with a good book (or B), too!

I can absolutely, positively, relate to this. I used to be incredibly outgoing with NO fear of meeting or hanging out with people, and somewhere along the way I started getting insecure and having this irrational fear of "awkward" moments.

I think this is so healthy. We can live in our own bubble where we're really comfortable - I mean really comfortable - but I find when I put myself out there I met some new wonderful people to love. They change my life and that's an exciting reason to grab a coffee. ;)

I can SO relate. While I try to be social, I always feel a slight uncomfortable feeling when doing so. In the last year I've tried to be more open and go out even when sitting at home sounded way more appealing.

I totally get this!! I wouldn't say I'm an "introvert", but I've struggled with anxiety since highschool. It was really bad in high school, but that's another story for another day... But I really struggle with going out and meeting new people. Especially if I can't bring Jon with me. For example, there's a mom's group that meets at church, and I haven't been once since Theodore was born. I always come up with excuses. I know I just need to suck it up and go, and I know I'll be happier once I do have a few friends, but it's SO HARD to get up and do it.

I'm not really an introvert but I can relate to this as well. Sometimes I'd rather be home, most times actually. But when I do go out, I end up having an amazing time. I hope you go, more and more, slowly...slowly. I've never had a lot of female friends but the older I've got the more important female companionship has become (which led to this post after a death in our family...http://vanishaslife.blogspot.com.au/2012/02/celebration-of-women.html)

As someone who is 100% introvert (I took numerous quizzes to be sure of this fact ;o)), I understand completely where you're coming from. Thankfully, the Lord has been gracious to me in providing a couple of ladies with whom I share a deep connection. Otherwise, I would probably never leave my house.

Thank you for sharing your heart. I love reading blogs that are real. Have a wonderful day, Meredith.