Month: May 2017

It’s been said that the body is composed of three minds – The Brain, Heart & The Gut and on any given day each of them will have their own way of communicating to you. This will be dependent upon the circumstance, situation or crisis you’re facing at the time or on a particular day.

I’ve often let those three minds run my life; most times a little more than I should have. When I faced a crisis, I would never listen to my brain or my gut. I would shoot straight for the heart and let it lead and guide me on what I needed to do in that moment. I sometimes (I’ve gotten better), can be a very emotional person and have always allowed my heart’s emotions to do the talking for me. I was a person that usually would run off what my emotions said do and reacted according to how I felt it was leading me to react. This behavior caused me many good relationships (not to say that the other party didn’t have some blame, but I can only speak for me), running off my heart’s emotions has even caused me a couple of jobs. For it made me unstable, erratic and untrustworthy.

I was presented with a life changing decision recently. After asking many questions and going back and forward on should I go for it or leave it. The individual finally told me “Trust your Gut on this One” But because I wanted the opportunity so bad, my brain was yelling “YES!! Take it, this would be a great opportunity for you. My emotional heart said “Think of the changes you can make in other people’s lives.” While my brain and heart was in dreamland; each dancing, singing and scheduling for this event to happen. My gut was also responding with it’s own opinion and was giving me the truth of what the situation really was; it simply said “NO! You can’t right now.” It was trying to pull my heart and mind together to look at the big picture. Was I really ready?, Could I possibly do what I was being called to do and juggle everything else at the same time? After I quieted my heart and brain down, I began to look at the big picture of what my gut was presenting and therefore decided that while the opportunity was a great one. It just wasn’t the time right now to delve into it. You see, when it comes to your heart, gut and brain. You have to go with the one that is speaking peace to the situation at hand. The one that seems to calm your nerves in the midst of your brain and heart going into their own separate direction.

Which mindset are you allowing to rule your world; while they are all important and each have their own “power of influence” you may be wondering which one should you listen to the most. Listed below is a short list of each function and how they can shape you or break you.

Your Brain– The brain is the powerhouse behind most of our major life choices, from parenting, to relationships, to our businesses and our jobs. We need that brain power to help us function in our daily grind. While the brain is definitely a “strong tower” it can also play tricks on you. It can quickly make you see things in a different light and make you feel as if someone is your inferior instead of your friend, given how they may act, look or treat you and tell you to shut them out, without the possibility of talking things through first. Ever heard of out of sight out of mind; well the brain is the ultimate player when it comes to that. It has a way of making you overthink even the smallest things, which in the end will make you crazy if you let it. It can make you see things differently when it’s really not like that at all.

Your Heart– The heart is the center of our life. It’s the emotional driving force behind why we do what we do, say what we say and love as hard as we are capable of loving despite how we’re treated most times. It pumps vigorously to the flowing of our blood and is big and strong. However, the heart can make us blind. It has a way of covering up the truth and allowing us to only see the surface of a matter. The heart is heavily run by emotions and usually has us running into circumstances and situations head on, without giving it a second thought. They say Love is Blind and that is so true when it comes to the real issues of our heart. It puts blinders on your eyes and allows you to see what your brain tricks you into seeing.

When the hearts emotions and the minds erratic thinking collide; it can be a bomb waiting to happen!

Your Gut– When People think of the Gut, the first thing that comes to mind is food; in which the gut is constantly being filled up on more than twice a day in most cases. We entice our gut with many goodies and delectable foods and wait for it to digest, so we can feed it some more. But we don’t give the gut the credit that it truly deserves. It’s not just a place to bury food, but a place that gives us the real truth of any matter. The key is taking out time to listen to it. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “Food for Thought” well that is exactly how we should look at the Gut, as an avenue to where we give it food for it’s most truest thoughts. That strong feeling you feel in your gut when you’re faced with a circumstance, question or situation is your guts way of revealing what you really need to do. We fail at listening to it because we see it as a food disposal rather than a guided source, but it’s the first instinct we should take heed too.

The Secret Sauce to it All – GOD! Yes, you definitely can’t forget about God. After-all he’s the maker of your body. When in doubt, he’ll help you work it out. God is the ultimate source for all things “confusing” you might say. The bible says in Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with All your Heart and Lean not unto your Own Understanding, In all your ways acknowledge him and he’ll direct your path. So you see, even though the brain, heart and gut may all speak at the same time. God is the one that will bring them all together to give you a peace of mind. Now don’t get me wrong, he gives us signs and you will have certain feelings to come over you about something that he would have allowed to come to you, in order to get your attention and this feeling usually happens within the gut.

I’ve been working since I was 15 years old. I knew from the beginning that I didn’t want to work in the fast food establishment for these very important reasons:

1) I’m not a great cook.

2) I’m not that fast or efficient.

3) I would have been terrible at the cashier station. #FreeMealsForEveryone = )

My first job actually was at a nursing home, I was a Nursing Assistant. I helped take care of ailing and/or sick veterans, Cool Right?? Yes, I thought so too. While that was a pretty heavy task for a 15yr old whom really never gotten exposed to such things; I really loved it. I was the type of person whom put everything into my work, I learned a lot and while there were many ups and downs in my long working career, the most challenging job for me was when I was asked to take the lead on certain projects within my job history.

You can say that I’ve always had a great opinion about things in which probably lead to an individual’s reasoning’s for wanting to place me in “Leadership” Roles. While the term “Leader” is quite an exhilarating word; full of empowerment and boldness, I have to admit – I didn’t take it seriously and probably let down the many people whom felt I would be good at it. In order to be a great leader, you first have to be a successful follower and listener. In my early stages, I had the attitude of “You can’t tell me anything, because I know everything” – I wanted to be the chief and lead the pack, but I didn’t have the humility to take out the time to become an Indian first.

“If you think you’re leading and no one is following – You’re just taking a walk.”

If you can’t be a good Indian, then you’ll never become a great Chief. You see, I never took the role of leadership seriously because I didn’t understand what a leader really was. I had no prior knowledge or role model that paved the way before that was fully knowledgeable or could have given me advice, I pretty much winged it and went for what I knew. Listening and being fully committed to the leader role were my downfalls. I can’t possibly tell you how many good opportunities I’ve had that I totally bombed on, because I was using leadership in the wrong way. Now that I’m older and have supervised and had other leader roles, I’ve learned quite a bit and would like to share some of those tips with you, in hopes that you don’t make the same mistakes as I did. I’ve also included some of my favorite notable quotes from John C. Maxwell & Byrd Baggett.

Tip #1: You Gotta Have Love!

“You can love people without leading them, but you cannot lead people without loving them.”

In order to lead, you have to possess a great love for a diverse group of people. When you become a leader, you can’t focus on the people whom think, act and/or talk and walk like you. When you become a leader, you’ll be leading many people from all walks and circles of life. Having a Love for all types of people, is the first step in leading effectively.

Tip #2: Turn the Power OFF!

“Managers hold on, Leaders let GO!”

Most people love leadership because it gives them power. Power in which they feel they can use to control other people and make them do what they want. You can’t have a power trip while being a leader. Instead, choose to lead because you want to make a difference in someone’s life. When you lead out of “power” you’re actually hurting the people that are looking up to you to make good, valuable, fair and honest decisions for their life and/or career. Think of it this way, the people that you lead, will eventually become leaders themselves one day; so you want to make sure that you’re putting forth a positive effort to be a good one, because they will need to look back on your leadership abilities to help them lead others. – So, what type of leader are portraying?

Tip#3: Shut Down Second Hand News

“Leaders bring out the best in others.”

I’ve been in leadership roles before where people brought me news about my constituents – it wasn’t good news, but riddled with negativity. Being new to leadership, this made me feel terrible, I went into my job with mixed emotions about whom I would be leading all because of news that other people were bringing to me. While it’s good to listen and take notes, you do have the right as a leader to shut those conversations down before they get started. When you become a leader you want to go into your new role with a blank canvas about everything. Trust me, in due time you’ll be able to form your own opinion about others which will be due to you getting to know them and not because of what someone else has already planted in your mind. Everything is not always what it seems, sometimes it is – but most times it isn’t.

Tip#4: Keep Your Cool – Everyone’s Not on Board

“Good leaders are like baseball umpires, they go practically unnoticed when doing their jobs right.”

As stated in Tip#2, your employees and/or followers are looking to you to make their work life easy, not hard. If you’re constantly on a power trip and not giving them the substance they need to be better, do better and etc. then you’re failing them (now I know everyone is not a receptor of learning and growing or wanting to do better) but just because they have that attitude doesn’t mean that you have to fail at your role. While they may not be a model employee, you still have to be a model leader.

Tip#5: What are you Learning

“Leadership is an action, Not a Position.”

As a leader you may feel as though your job is to always teach, instruct, or guide and yes, that’s true but a great leader is always receptacle of learning as well. Just because you’re a leader, that doesn’t make you perfect; we all have to keep our mind and heart open to learn from our employees or followers. Leadership is a two way street; you invoke learning with the expectation of learning and gaining the necessary nuggets you need to become an even greater leader. Be willing to have an open heart to receive knowledge from everyone. From the Doorman to the Janitor to the CEO, there’s great wisdom and knowledge that we can get from everyone, no matter their status or rank. Learning is a tool, that goes round and round but is only available to those whom are willing to accept it. So, what are you learning in the process?

** ** ** ** **

Lastly & Most Importantly. Keep your focus! – Leaders listen more than they speak; they choose their words carefully and they’re not afraid to admit when they’re wrong. They don’t get caught up in gossip and they don’t choose sides, they are fair and honest. A good leader is hard to find but shouldn’t have to be as we’re all leaders in some form, shape or another. You just have to choose which leader you want to be.

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I must honestly say, I am not a credit guru – never was and probably still will not be the best at it. I never knew what the word “credit” really meant or what it really was until I got in my mid 20’s. It’s funny because while my friends were receiving credit cards with a substantial amount of money on it, I couldn’t get one. I was told that I didn’t have enough credit history…..so, wouldn’t that make me a better candidate for one?

I never owned a credit card in my life but, however; my credit history became ruined early all because I was unknowledgeable about the definition of credit ( the ability of a customer to obtain goods or services before payment). You see, although I never owned a credit card, I had a problem with paying things on time. It was never an issue with obtaining the things I wanted, it was a problem with keeping up with the payments. Not paying furniture accounts on time, car notes, a mortgage, rent payments – all made my credit score go down and my credit report became scarred with derogatory payment details.

Recently, I finally had the courage to actually check my credit report. I always shunned the fact of checking it because I felt like, If I didn’t know about it – maybe the things on there would instantly disappear. And besides, I never wanted to really see what was on there because I was embarrassed by it. So, I told myself that I would take a look and I’m going to be very transparent right now – It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t good either. My credit score was 573 on Trans-union and 540 on Experian.

When I really delved in to see why my scores were truly low, I was shocked by how naive and careless I had been when it came to my credit history. I had over 27 Inquiries, 2 repossessed cars that had been charged off. A court judgement regarding a rental property (that I had no idea about), my current car was also on there – showing perfect payments. I shared my credit report with you because I wanted you to know that while a credit score is good to know, pulling your report is the best practice for you to do. There are many things that get put on there, some things you may know of and there are others in which you may not. But you’ll never know unless you have the courage to come to terms and face your own credit report.

Listed below are a couple of tips that I’ve learned along the way that could help you get your credit on the road to success ~

1. Be Brave & View Your Report:

Whatever is on your credit report is not going to go away because you don’t look at it. While there are certain things that do go away over an extended period of time, it’s always good practice to get in the habit of viewing your report at least once or twice a year. This will give you a heads up on expenses or items that were put on there that shouldn’t be. You’ll also have an opportunity to dispute those items, in which in most cases takes up to 30 days. So, take a peek you’ll be surprised at what you might find and it may not be as bad as you think.

2. Make Timely Payments:

You may not know much about credit but making timely payments helps your credit score to go up. These payments can include your car, furniture, cell phone, store credit and even loans. You also want to make sure that whomever you are making payments too are also reporting your payments to the necessary credit bureaus because if you’re making timely payments, you want that to be reflected on your credit. If they do not report to the credit bureaus, this is not helping you build your credit – but it’s hurting you. Because everyone does credit checks, including some jobs.

It’s never too late to get your credit straight!!

3. Inquiries Can Cause Problems:

With everyone doing background checks regarding your credit, it could become really damaged by too many inquiries. Every time you give someone access to dive into your credit history and you get denied; that creates a credit inquiry, which brings your credit score down even more. Inquiries can hurt your credit more than not making an on time payment. Make sure that whomever you allow to pull your credit that it’s concerning something you will benefit from or really need. If you can do without it, then don’t allow your credit to be pulled. It could save you some major credit points later.

4. Beware! of Quick-Fix Credit Scams:

Yes, I’ve been tempted on more than one occasion to fall for the credit report site or individual that promises to fix your credit for mere hundreds to thousands of dollars (No, I don’t have thousands of dollars..lol) but I’ve been to the point where I’ve been crazy to do it. This rule is simple, there is no quick fix when it comes to your credit. If someone tells you that they can clear your credit for $200 – Watch Out! I’ve known quite a few people whom took the bait and their credit ended up being worse off than it was before. No one can truly fix your credit but you. Yes, we all want quick fixes for everything and yes, it does take time to fix your credit but in the end; you’ll be more knowledgeable about your own business and will still have some money.

Below are some resources that I’ve used that will help you also…

Tiffany “The Budgetnista” Aliche – Tiffany has been deemed as “America’s favorite financial educator” she has a group on FB called – Dream Catchers : LIVE RICHER, it’s a closed group, so you’ll have to get permission to join but she’s awesome when it comes to finances and budgeting. She has a phenomenal story of how she went from sleeping on her sisters couch to obtaining her own financial freedom. If you sign up to receive her emails, she’ll send you a “Goodie” every Wednesday which are free tools that’s usually packed with information on how to live richer and wiser. Her website is here: Live Richer Challenge and her link to FB is highlighted above. So, if you’re interested in getting educated about your finances and learn to live richer, then follow Tiffany – you’ll be glad you did.

Why not check your credit report today! Sign up with Credit Karma – Credit Karma is where I checked my credit report – I even applied for a credit building credit card through Capitol One, someone they suggested. The card will help anyone who has a low credit score carefully build up their credit score. It’s a great resource that could help you too.

Below is a chart of how your Credit Score is obtained. Make this the year that you become knowledgeable about credit.

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