This is one of the three personailty traits that is a deal breaker for me. Passive aggressiveness is nothing more than fishing for responses your too insecure to ask for directly or to attempt to manipulate people. Hit this issue head on with this guy once, if he can't correct his PA behavior don't waste your time.

just my opinion. everyone is good. just the negativity/fear/ego are covering the positive stuff.

i did see the positive qualities in this man in the beginning, the nicer i was the more negative PA behavior. maybe if i just kept on being nice, not played into his negative behavior, he would have given up the PA behavior/sabotage and realized that i wasn't going to hurt him and he was worthy of a healthy relationship, that actually someone could love him and let his guard down and stop the PA .

My ex raised it to an art form. It was as close to a personality disorder as passive aggressive behaviour can ever get.

All conflicts headed nowhere and nothing ever got resolved despite my best efforts at communication. Logic never works with the truly passive aggressive as they are hell bent on being the victim. The result was a drawn-out and excruciating relationship because he hadn't the balls to actually speak his mind. And whenever he found his balls, it was a torrent of put-downs and insults.

Someone above suggested aggressive-aggressive behaviour to combat the passive aggressive. Perhaps it only works with those with mild or sporadic passive aggressive behaviour. Those for whom passive aggressive is a fabric of their personality, being aggressive will only bring out the worst in them. The only thing you can do is calling them out on their behaviour and hoping for the best.

And I agree that passive aggressive people are prone to being alone because they eventually alienate anyone who has ever given a shit about them.

Passive-aggressive behavior is a pattern of indirectly expressing negative feelings instead of openly addressing them. There's a disconnect between what a passive-aggressive person says and what he or she does. For a passive-aggressive person, true feelings are shared through actions, not words.

For example, a passive-aggressive person might appear to agree — perhaps even enthusiastically — with another person's request. Rather than completing the task, however, he or she might express anger or resentment by missing deadlines, showing up late to meetings, making excuses or even working against the task.

Specific signs and symptoms of passive-aggressive behavior include:

Resentment and opposition to the demands of othersComplaining about feeling underappreciated or cheatedProcrastinationStubbornnessInefficiencyMemory lapsesSullennessIrritabilityCynical or hostile attitude