Fuck Outta Here With Your Hoe-Ass Fast Food, India

Among the many things the United States completely dominates, fast food is definitely included. With American fast food inventions like the Double Down, Doritos Locos Tacos, and the Big Gulp, we’ve cemented our place at the top of the world. With that being said, it’s cute that other countries try to knock us off of our perch every now and then. Enter India, where a new ‘Burger Pizza’ is coming to Domino’s locations.

Domino’s India just announced the rollout of a brand-new menu item: a “burger pizza” that “looks like a burger. Tastes like a pizza,” as the company’s Facebook post proclaims.

Like I said, this is cute, but India’s mark-ass fast food attempts aren’t going to fool anyone. We already have cheeseburger pizzas in the U.S., and there’s no way this pizza burger can be grosser than that. It just comes off as a cheap imitation, like a bootleg version of the Revenant that was recorded on an iPhone 4 in Turkey and is being sold outside a New York subway. When your country doesn’t even eat meat for the most part, they simply can’t be taken seriously in the fast food game.

When India decides to horrify their population with a 100% beef milkshake or something like that, I’ll stop putting them on blast. Until then, I’ll sit back and sign a petition to bring back the Double Down while reveling in the patriotism that being able to get 40 chicken nuggets for $8.99 affords you. Your move, India..