Here’s my question: does anyone really care if the president smokes? Really? I mean, I know it’s unhealthy and all that, and blah blah blah role model blah blah blah, and it probably wouldn’t be a good idea for him to show up at a press conference with a butt hanging out of his mouth (see an Obama-kissing-butt joke there? Go for it), but come on.

Plus, the presidency is a stressful job, I’ve heard. Lousy time to try to quit. And being surrounded all day by irritating people like Biden and Pelosi? Tell the truth, you’d wanna light up too.

So go ahead, Mr. President. Send that intern out for a pack of Lucky Strikes and a sports page. There’ll be plenty of time to quit after you’re done.