Perfectionism:
Rethinking your
Expectations
Everyone uses that cliché
line, “I give 110% effort, or
time, or energy, etc” yet
not only is this physically
impossible, but it is a “nowin” situation. Perfectionism is a duel with yourself
and a self destructive battle.
There is a big difference
between perfectionists and
high achievers. Perfectionist believe that mistakes
must never be made and
that there is always a highest standard that must be
achieved. High achievers
find pleasure in trying to
meet high standards and
realize that the greatest
learning comes through
the mistakes along the
way.

imperfect world. A perfectionist worker may spend
so much time agonizing
over some non-critical detail that a project misses
its deadline.
Myth 3: Perfectionists just
have this enormous desire
to please others and to be
the very best they can.
Reality: Perfectionistic
tendencies often begin as
an attempt to win love,
acceptance, and approval.
Perfectionist are driven by
low self-esteem and are
more likely to complicate
their relationships.
Psychologists find that perfectionists tend to be “allor-nothing” thinkers. This

type of thinking for flawless
perfection in even the
smallest tasks can become
fearfully overwhelming.
Coping Strategies for that
little voice inside calling us
to be perfect:
1.

2.

3.
4.
5.

Make a list of the advantages and disadvantages of trying to be
perfect.
Increase your awareness of the self-critical
nature of your all-ornothing thoughts.
Be realistic about what
you can do.
Set strict time limits on
each of your projects.
Learn how to deal with
criticism.

April 24-30

There are some commonly
held myths about perfectionism that make life
more difficult than need
be:
Myth 1: I wouldn’t be the
success I am today if I
weren’t such a perfectionist.
Reality: Compulsive striving to be perfect hinders
success with performance
anxiety and depression.
Myth 2: Perfectionists get
things done and they do
things right.

Reality: Perfectionists
often have problems with
procrastination, missed
deadlines, and low productivity because of their frustration and anger with an

The magazine of IAAP: Insightful articles for
today’s administrative professionals.

Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
Five Key Skills for Raising Your Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence (EQ) is a
different type of intelligence. It’s
about being “heart smart,” not just
“book smart.” The evidence
shows that emotional intelligence
matters just as much as intellectual ability, if not more so, when it
comes to happiness and success in
life. Emotional intelligence helps
you build strong relationships,
succeed at work, and achieve your
goals.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify, use, understand,
and manage your emotions in positive and constructive ways. It's
about recognizing your own emotional state and the emotional
states of others. Emotional intelligence is also about engaging with
others in ways that draw people to
you.

Emotional intelligence consists of four core abilities:
• Self-awareness – The ability
to recognize your own emotions
and how they affect your thoughts
and behavior, know your strengths
and weaknesses, and have selfconfidence.

ple, pick up on emotional cues,
feel comfortable socially, and recognize the power dynamics in a
group or organization.
• Relationship management –
The ability to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence
others, work well in a team, and
manage conflict.
Emotional intelligence is not
learned in the standard intellectual way; it must be learned
and understood on an emotional level. We can’t simply
read about emotional intelligence or master it through
memorization. In order to
learn about emotional intelligence in a way that produces
change, we need to engage the
emotional parts of the brain in
ways that connect us to others.
This kind of learning is based
on what we see, hear, and feel.
Intellectual understanding is
an important first step, but the
development of emotional intelligence depends on sensory,
nonverbal learning and reallife practice.

• Self-management – The ability to control impulsive feelings
and behaviors, manage your emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances.

Developing emotional intelligence through five key
skills:

• Social awareness – The ability to understand the emotions,
needs, and concerns of other peo-

The first key skill of emotional
intelligence is the ability to quick-

ly calm yourself down when
you’re feeling overwhelmed. Being able to manage stress in the
moment is the key to resilience.
This emotional intelligence skill
helps you stay balanced, focused,
and in control–no matter what
challenges you face.
• Emotional intelligence (EQ)
skill 2: The ability to recognize
and manage your emotions.
The second key skill of emotional
intelligence is having a moment-to
-moment awareness of your emotions and how they influence your
thoughts and actions. Emotional
awareness is the key to understanding yourself and others.
• Emotional intelligence (EQ)
skill 3: The ability to connect with
others using nonverbal communication.
Being a good communicator requires more than just verbal skills.
Oftentimes, what we say is less
important than how we say it or
the other nonverbal signals we
send out. In order to hold the attention of others and build connection and trust, we need to be
aware of and in control of our
nonverbal cues. We also need to
be able to accurately read and respond to the nonverbal cues that
other people send us.
Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill
4: The ability to use humor and
play to deal with challenges.

Page 2

Humor, laughter, and play are
natural antidotes to life’s difficulties. They lighten our burdens
and help us keep things in perspective. A good hearty laugh
reduces stress, elevates mood,
and brings our nervous system
back into balance.

Conflict and disagreements are
inevitable in relationships. Two
people can’t possibly have the
same needs, opinions, and expectations at all times. However,
that needn’t be a bad thing! Resolving conflict in healthy, constructive ways can strengthen
trust between people. When conflict isn’t perceived as threatening or punishing, it fosters freedom, creativity, and safety in
relationships.

http://www.businessballs.com/eq
.htm

The five skills of emotional intelligence can be learned by anyone, at anytime. But there is a
difference between learning
about emotional intelligence and
applying that knowledge to your
life. Just because you know you
should do something doesn’t
mean you will—especially when
you’re feeling stressed. This is
especially true when it comes to
the skills of emotional intelligence
Jeanne Segal, PH.D, Melinda
Smith, MA‐Reprinted with per‐
mission from HELPGUIDE.ORG.

YouTube Video of Daniel
Goleman, author of Emotional
Intelligence: Why It Can Be
More than IQ

When I began preparing for
my CPS/CAP, I made a study
plan which allowed me to
cover one chapter in each of
the review guides per week.
During that week, I also read
the textbooks from which the
exams are written. Since
many of these are also college-level textbooks, I quickly learned that most were
over $100 a piece.
I found an inexpensive way
to get the books without
spending a fortune, and I’m
going to share that trick with
you. A textbook goes into a
new edition about every 2 or
3 years. This makes it possible to get the later editions
fairly cheap. So for Human
Resource Management by
Gary Dessler, buy the 10th
edition instead of the 11th or
12th.
On Amazon.com or Half.com
you can get great buys on
used editions and still get the
book that will give you the
information you need for the
exams.

Page 3

Events Around Town

Epicurean
Extravaganza

Crawfish Boil
Friday, March 18,

2011

Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Featuring more than 30 restaurants

5:30-8 p.m. at the
Brazos County Expo Complex

Tickets: $25 General Admission (if you purchase before March 1, receive a
$5 discount on each ticket!)
or
$40 "Premium" (grants you early entrance,
one plate, two drink tickets,
two entries into the door prize bucket,
and a guaranteed seat in a reserved section)

and will feature crawfish as well as
limited alternatives such as
hamburgers and French fries.
Tickets are $100 per couple, $75 individual
proceeds benefitting
the Brazos County Youth Livestock Sale.

TICKETS STILL AVAILABLE!
bcschamber.org

For more information or to purchase tickets,

(979) 260-5200

please contact

$25 at Chamber Office, H.E.B.,

Franchesca@bcschamber.org or 260-5200.

or at the door on event day.
Category: Fair/Festival
Date: March 5
Time: 10:00am - 6:00pm
Cost: Free
Phone: (512) 796-3213
Location: El Pueblo Marketplace , Bryan
El Pueblo Marketplace, Bryan's only indoor / outdoor
market, will hold it's grand opening festival on Saturday, March 5th. Come explore the market with over
19 vendors selling clothes, shoes, jewelry, purses,
toys, pinatas, books, western wear, Mexican imports
and more. Find great deals outside with our outdoor
vendors. We'll have Ballet Folklorico dancers, a live
remote broadcast from La Allegria radio station, and
music from Aggieland Mariachis. Join us 10am-6pm at
2010 South College Avenue on the corner of South
College and Carson

Notable Quotable
“Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the
right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person. “
~Dr. David M. Burns

A Message from the President
One year ago this month, the Aggieland Chapter was chartered. It started with a handful of individuals who wanted to
expand our opportunities and find a new direction for their continued growth. We are excited at the progress and growth
of the chapter so far. It has not been an easy year and we have had more than our share of bumps in the road. I received
the following story from a friend who served as President for a brand new chapter two years ago and it completely
summed it up for me. I will share it with you now.

A young woman wanted to plant a field of bamboo. Year after year she would turn the soil around the
delicate plants and cultivate the weeds, she’d water and add the nutrients to ensure the bamboo
would grow. Even though the shoots were barely four inches tall, she continued her devoted attention. And at the end of the fifth year, the young woman’s field had exploded with growth, giving
way to tall, hearty bamboo shoots…her field was truly magnificent. All along, the young woman
knew it takes five years for bamboo to reach its full stage of development.
The scenario is the same with a new chapter. I believe for a new chapter to be successful, it takes five years of nurturing
and cultivating its members. In year one, the board has arranged programs that have provided quality continuing education and professional development: Effective Leadership: Setting Goals, Sexual Harassment, Employee Development
Through Mentoring and Coaching, Tools for Social Media, Grace Under Pressure, Managing Through Change, Go Green
With Avery, Office Ergonomics, and Advanced Communications.
We continue to research speakers and topics to further develop the chapter’s root system. It is our number one goal to
provide all the nurturing and cultivating necessary to ensure the Aggieland Chapter continues to grow and becoming
stronger with each year.
We are each responsible to aide in the development of the chapter’s ROOT SYSTEM! All of the Aggieland members are
doing just that. You have shared the benefits with others and we have grown by 30%. It is exciting to know that WE ALL
have such an impact on the future of our chapter. Thanks to each of you for helping our fields of bamboo grow and develop! We’ve had a very successful first year.
P A S S I O N AN D P U R P O S E

Sheila
Page 5

Upcoming Chapter Events

Karen McCullough
http://www.karenmccullough.com/

“Your Personal Guides to Success in
Work, Plan and Dress”
Meeting to be at A&M System offices
Either 3/24 or 3/31 11:30 – 1:00
*Confirmed date will be on the chapter
website.
Dortha Gray CPS/CAP