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Tuesday, June 4, 2013

To some people, this is the ultimate demise. Two pests in one house and very few chances of getting them out anytime soon. But fear not! I have formulated a list of how to calmly evaluation the situation.

STEP ONE: Rejoice!
You have always wanted guests in your home! You love to entertain! Now you have thousands of friends to encompany you on your daily journeys, such as to the shower or making dinner, or eating lunch! Where's the party at? YOUR HOUUUSSSEEE!!

STEP TWO: Panic!
This is too many guests! They are beginning to overrun you and eat all of your things, including your chocolate and sugar. Bitches be crazy. This is not good not not not good. They're also beginning to scare you. Showing up in the middle of the night, just running around blindly, like it's a game! This is awful. This is the opposite of what was supposed to happen. OHHH NOOOOOOO!!

STEP THREE: Destroy All Things!
Okay these mothers have gone far enough. Their invasion has become a personal testament to driving you crazy. It's time to bring out the big guns: traps and glue. They think they're going to get away with hoarding the candy in your closet and decimating your counters with just their presence. WRONGZO. And when the tails start dropping, you can feel a sense of accomplishment and pride. Especially as you watch the struggle between the tiny insect and the tacky, sugary sweet glue. Killed by your own vice.

Aaaaaand that's it. I hope this helped some of you. I hope your pest issues subside with the warm weather about us. This is Jess, signing off.

About Me

I am Jess. I am 19. I am awkward. That is pretty much all you need to know. I am also funny. That is also important. I also normally use contractions most of the time, usually when they combine to make words that are not words.