DC at Night

Thursday, February 14, 2013

A Valentine Day's Tale of Law and Love

Janice Canterbury and Nadia Malley

The 3 couples stood off to the side, alternately smiling at each other and fidgeting, as couples having been doing since the very first I-do ceremonies. The ministers were in place, ready to do their duty. Cameras were out and held in the best positions to capture the special moments. The crowd of well-wishers and supporters edged closer, intent on catching every word on this crisp Valentine Day's morning.

There was only one more step, a mere formality for most couples seeking to be married at the Arlington County Courthouse. Under Virginia law, the couples would have to present their completed marriage license forms to the county clerk for certification.

"Today (Valentine's Day) is a great day for people that want to get married to tell their stories and I look forward to hearing your stories today," intoned Clerk Paul Ferguson in the kindliest tone imaginable. "Unfortunately, the laws of Virginia do not allow Virginia circuit courts to grant marriage licenses to same-sex applicants. So, if that is part of your story, I will have to deny the application."

And indeed being a same sex couple seeking the right to marry was the biggest part of the story for Janice Canterbury and Nadia Malley of Arlington, as it was for the other 2 gay couples, who were also denied their ceremony under Virginia law.

"My partner and I have been together and lived in the same house here in Arlington for over 14 years," Canterbury said. "Our commitment to each other has withstood cancer, death of parents and pets, a house fire and a renovation, and an increase in our property taxes. And through it all, we have loved and cared for each other."

"We are out and open to everyone, with colleagues at work, our friends, our family and our neighbors. They all support us and were so excited about us taking a stand this day," Canterbury added.

"I know that Nadia and I will be together with or without a marriage because we love each other. We actually met over 25 years ago when we were volunteering at the Whitman Walker Clinic and helping counsel young gays and lesbians struggling with being accepted and accepting themselves. We know, all too well, the importance of having a recognized ritual within a community that honors and upholds our rights. We know we have love, but only a legal marriage can give us dignity as a valued couple and declare that we are, in fact, equal citizens under the law," she concluded.

After the rally, Canterbury and Malley were approached by members of the media for further comment. They said they were "cautiously optimistic" that the Virginia ban against gay marriage would be overturned. Asked by one reporter if they were aware of how politically complicated it is to get such a controversial law changed, Canterbury responded, "I understand it's complicated, but it's far more complicated for a couple who are gay or lesbian. We want to stand up for our love and our rights"

"I don't think people fully understand," Malley said. "I have a pre-existing (medical) condition and I'm unable to get insurance. It's about love, but it's a real economic issue, too."

But even given the seriousness of the cause on this day of denial, Canterbury and Malley were still able to look on the light side of their rejection. They said the most difficult part of the process had been filling out the place on the marriage application that required an identification of the husband and wife. So how did they decide? "We flipped a coin," Canterbury said with a laugh.

Tales, Tidbits, and Tips

The ministers make their banner their message

Before the 3 couples presented their certificates, several ministers supporting gay marriage addressed the rally. Although each spoke individually, the collective message went something like this. God is about love. God is about commitment. Marriage is about love and commitment, so therefore God approves regardless of the sex of those seeking to wed. "It is way past time to change the law," said David Ensign, pastor at the Clarendon Presbyterian Church, who thanked the 3 couples for "being brave enough to step forward and risk the pain of hearing no when asking for what, by right, should be yours for the asking." In his remarks, Rev. Carlton Smith of the Unitarian Universalist Church of Arlington cited the U. S. Supreme Court's decision in 1967 that overturned Virginia's ban on marriage between members of different races. "We don't want Virginia on the back of the bus again," Smith said.

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Judy and Me

DC and Us: Perfect Together

In June 2011, I retired as an English teacher in an urban high school. One month earlier, my wife, Judy, had retired as the manager of a custom frame shop and art gallery.

We sold our South Jersey home of 33 years and moved to a 2-bedroom apartment in Crystal City, directly across the Potomac from Washington, D.C.

Within an extremely short time (I say minutes; Judy says days) we realized that we had made a perfect decision. We loved DC.

The Prices Do DC is an attempt to share that love of place and what we are doing on a regular basis with you.

Journal writing such as we are attempting here is about the process of recognizing, recalling, recording, and remembering. As such, I think our blog has 3 audiences. First, and foremost, there is Judy and I. Call it our electronic scrapbook. Next, there are our grandchildren Audrey and Owen. When we are no longer here (and may those days not come for a long, long time), we hope they can still visit these pages to find out what their grandparents were interested in, did, and liked during their DC years. Finally, if you are reading this, there is you.

Like all successful projects, The Prices Do DC calls for a clearly defined division of labor. Here is ours. We jointly plan. I make a list. We travel together. Judy is the financial overseer. I record our observations in a small notebook. I eat a lot. Judy eats a little. Once home, I create the posts. Judy edits them. I design the look. Judy has her final say and pushes the publish button.

And now the work falls to you. Please enjoy what we have created. And if you do (or if you don't) let us know. Attach a comment somewhere on the page here. Send us an email. Knock on our door. We're waiting to hear from you.

Peace --- Dave and Judy Price

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There are 2 ways to contact us:1) attach a comment at the end of any post2) send us an email directly at dleeprice @comcast.netEither way will let you send us a shout-out.