I’ve been happily married for some 12 years now and I lovemy husband so much that it hurts when he’s not with me. I know that I’ll neverbetray him and trust him implicitly. And so we have a perfect relationship youmay think – and I would probably agree. But you may ask, if things are soperfect then why do I feel the need to join this forum? Indeed, is this not aform of betrayal?

The truth of the matter is that while we are so deeply inlove and yes, the sex is fantastic, I have so many fantasies that split andmerge and evolve from day to day. I’m sure that my husband has too (Michelle Pfifferfor one); some we share and others are kept secret.

And so to my reason for posting in the gay/lesbian forum. Ifind that in recent months and perhaps years, my thoughts and desires havegenerally involved other women. I find myself tingling at the sight of Angelinarather than Brad and it is the women in my dreams that make me cum during sex.I do sometimes wonder who my husband sees in the darkness of our room when wemake love.

I’m not seeking advice; though please feel free to offer it.Nor do I yearn for understanding or sympathy. I’m simply laying myself open tothe forum in the hope that it may raise some interest or conversation.

Please post your thoughts, or if you’d like to contact meprivately, feel free to PM me or chat if you see me online. I'd love to here from anyone in a similar or contrary position

Iv got to say you should tell your husband. not because i think its wrong that you are having thought about other women but secrets in a relationship sometimes arent good but also which male would not love a bisexual partner? my wife is bisexual as am i to an extent (and i think everyone secretly or openly to some stretch is bisexual) but her liking women not only matched both of our fantasies (2 women and 1 guy) its also great walking down the street and admiring beautiful women together she even points some women out to me! We are better for it. only way i would not recommend telling him is if he is deeply religious and doesnt believe in gay sex/marriage

Thanks for your reply and I hope I don’t get too deephere. The human being is a complex creature, often fuelled by an unquenchable drive, while at other times is calm and reflective. It’s those quiet reflective times that would cause the problem.

I’m sure the sex would be wild and exciting if I brought inanother woman, whether I included my husband or not. All of my fantasies contain a strong element of the taboo and indeed most, if not all of these I do in fact share with my husband, but there is no clear line between what is real and what is in my imagination. Let me give you an example . . .

In one of my fantasies, I’m awoken in the middle of thenight by a crash downstairs. I wake my husband and we creep down together to investigate.

This is a typical start, but from here my imagination can travel in many directions, most of which I'd not dare act out. Sometimes there are multiple intruders, who restrain my husband and make him watch as they have their fun with me. At times (though rarely – I confess) I am restrained while they abuse him. On other occasions the leader of the gang is a woman. A knife is held to my husband and I’m forced to strip and make love to her and to my shame I love it. The fantasy often involves bondage/bdsm and while my husband and I both enjoy this aspect in real life, neither of us has mentioned bringing in a third party.

Emotions are complicated, jealousy above most. So let’s run through a couple of scenarios – and feel free to call me paranoid; it may be so.

Let’s say that one of my friends is a lesbian and I bring her to our bed.

How does my husband feel to see me enjoying her physically as I usually enjoy his touch?

Suppose my orgasm is stronger than he can remember me having with him? Suppose I cum again and again and beg her to stop as I usually beg him?

Does he see me fucking or making love? I make distinction between the two. Fucking I see as a momentary release of sexual energy and desire, while making love is a far deeper activity. Is he excited or jealous?

Now, while I’m in pretty good shape, my imaginary friend is a triathlete and has the most amazing physique. While my husband’s cock is in her, do I believe that he finds her more attractive than me? Could this be true? Is her pussy tighter, her breasts more pert, her skin smoother?

What happens next week when he tells me he’s always had athing for one of his colleagues and thinks that it’s now OK for him to fuck her in his lunch hour?

How does such honesty help our relationship? Suppose as many girls will tell me I find that lesbian sex is so more intense than I could ever know with my husband and I need more and more. Is that acceptable to him? Have I gained more than I’ve lost?

But in our minds we can go to places that we dare not in real life, be whomever we choose without guilt or consequence. Being tied to the mast of a galleon while cohorts of filthy pirates rip away my petticoats is most certainly exciting and yet in my mind it is safe and free of consequence(such as guilt, jealousy or syphilis).

Fantasy is a huge part of sex and it has been said that the mind is the greatest sexual organ, with which I agree. However, real life as well as imagination feed into the psychological side of sex. I love my husband to tie me down, for example. When restrained I’m helpless and at his mercy, he can do anything he chooses and I’m powerless to object. Will he lick me within an inch of my life, fuck me hard and fast or torment me for hours; will he explode inside my ass or cover my face and breasts with cum? We keep a toy box beneath thebed, filled with both pleasure and pain and not knowing which he will select is so exciting that I invariably cum before he’s taken off his pants.

I'm guessing that because you have a good sex life with your husband, you can gauge his reactions to things. Try dropping hints about your fantasies to him. Maybe start by pointing out attractive women to him. Or in bed, say something like, "that feels amazing! I wish you had more hands/lips so you could ______ and _____ at the same time!" (That's kinda how my hubby brought the idea up to me by the way!) see how he responds. If he seems turned on by it, step a little further.

If your fantasy becomes a reality, it is hard to tell what your reactions might be until it happens. We had an MFM threesome first, and I was afraid my husband would feel jealous, but he was turned on to see me enjoying myself. When we decided to have a foursome with another couple, I was very nervous for MANY reasons. I was afraid that although I fantasizes about it, I might not actually enjoy being with a woman. Boy was I wrong about that! 😂 I was afraid that my husband would be uncomfortable seeing me with her. He was excited beyond belief! It turned him on SOOOOO much! Lastly I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to handle seeing him fuck another woman. I was really surprised how much it turned me on! It was like I know how good he can make me feel, and I had a strange aense of pride that he was able to do that for someone new.

Feel free to PM me if you have any specific questions. I'm certainly no expert, but I've been there!

I'm guessing that because you have a good sex life with your husband, you can gauge his reactions to things. Try dropping hints about your fantasies to him. Maybe start by pointing out attractive women to him. Or in bed, say something like, "that feels amazing! I wish you had more hands/lips so you could ______ and _____ at the same time!" (That's kinda how my hubby brought the idea up to me by the way!) see how he responds. If he seems turned on by it, step a little further.

If your fantasy becomes a reality, it is hard to tell what your reactions might be until it happens. We had an MFM threesome first, and I was afraid my husband would feel jealous, but he was turned on to see me enjoying myself. When we decided to have a foursome with another couple, I was very nervous for MANY reasons. I was afraid that although I fantasizes about it, I might not actually enjoy being with a woman. Boy was I wrong about that! 😂 I was afraid that my husband would be uncomfortable seeing me with her. He was excited beyond belief! It turned him on SOOOOO much! Lastly I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to handle seeing him fuck another woman. I was really surprised how much it turned me on! It was like I know how good he can make me feel, and I had a strange aense of pride that he was able to do that for someone new.

Feel free to PM me if you have any specific questions. I'm certainly no expert, but I've been there!

Well my two cents worth you don't need to share with him if you choose not to, everyone is entitle to have their pwn private thoughts and or desires. Sometimes even a little mystery is good for the relationship. If you were acting on your desires and actually in a relationship with a woman that would be different then your hiding something. As I'm sure you already know by being an articulate and an intelligent person communication is important to a relationship but you aren't required to be an open book