Today, business owners are having to face up to a cold, hard
fact: Entrepreneurship and parenthood don't exist in perfect
harmony. With mounting social pressure to develop well-rounded
family lives and parents' desire to play stronger roles in
their children's development, a whole generation of
entrepreneurs is often left feeling worn-out and torn between two
babies: their children and their businesses. Harboring feelings of
guilt, worry and anger, they're forced to make difficult
choices among their many loves, often bringing pain upon
themselves, their spouses and their children.

"So many people these days are getting into their own
businesses without realizing the impact it's going to have on
their children," says Katy Danco, author of From The Other
Side of the Bed: A Woman Looks at Life in the Family Business
(University Press) and co-founder of The Center For Family Business
in Cleveland. "They're finding out the hard way that
it's tough being a parent while trying to run a
business."

If you're a parent, no doubt you've had the painful
experience of telling your child you'd have to miss a soccer
game or dance recital because of a personnel problem or a pressing
deadline.

You're not alone. Across the country, entrepreneurs with
children are battling such angst. What's more, in many cases,
their children are also harboring feelings of resentment and
neglect, or a sense of entitlement to extra cash and gifts because
of the sacrifices they're making for the business, Danco
says.

Inevitably, all entrepreneurs make mistakes in this delicate
balancing act. Few, however, have gotten a second chance at
business--and parenthood--as Kent Vickery, CEO of Cognitive
Learning Tools, a management consulting business in Woodside,
California, did. When his daughter, Heather, was growing up, Kent
owned a carpet manufacturing and distribution company with his
wife, Tari, 47. The daily pressures of running a manufacturing
business were intense, requiring the couple to put in long hours
and travel frequently. And while they did their best, their
schedules often left Heather, now 22, feeling isolated and left
out.

At the time, Kent and Tari felt focusing their energies on
growing their business was the best thing for their family. And
while Kent believed he was living up to his parenting
responsibilities, now he's not so sure. "I think I talked
a great game about [Heather] coming first, but my behavior proved
otherwise," admits Kent, 48.

His son, Charles, 12, is having a whole different experience,
though. Kent doesn't have the daily pressures of managing
employees in his current business. He's also learned to shuffle
extra work off to contractors and make room for family time, which
means having breakfast with his son before school, picking him up
after classes--even coaching Charles' soccer team.

For Kent, the key is flexibility. "With this business, I
just scaled my skills differently," he explains. "I went
from having to be present in the business every moment to being
able to plan my time more predictably."

Finding ways to include your children in your business is
paramount, says David Hoffman, 42, a part-time instructor with
Baylor University's Fast Track entrepreneurship program;
co-owner of Thera-Med Inc., a health-care manufacturing company in
Waco, Texas; and father of two. Hoffman's tips: If your
schedule isn't flexible, create an office area for your
children so you can spend more time together and give older kids
small jobs around the office. Celebrate company successes with your
kids so they understand the rewards of entrepreneurship, be honest
with them when breaking commitments, and don't make promises
you can't keep.

Striking a balance between business and family makes the rewards
of both much sweeter. Says Kent, "I find myself feeling much
better about my own sense of contribution to my business and, more
important, to myself and my family."