About Me

I'm in my mid-30's. Born and raised in West Valley City, UT. One year at Ricks followed by two great years in the Chile Antofagasta mission. Met and married my wife at BYU, graduated in Business then an MBA at the U. of Arizona. Regional HR Manager for a Fortune 500 manufacturing company. Happily married 12 years and my wife and three kids are the light of my life.
Other stuff I like: Lakers, Diamondbacks, Carolina Panthers, all BYU teams, Madden, gardening and playing guitar.

Dear Diary

Saturday, September 26, 2009

When the Normal Mormon Wife was in high school she once broke up with her boyfriend by saying three simple words:

“I dump you.”

No long-winded explanations. No ultimatums. No room for compromise. The relationship was simply over.

Sometimes it is best to just get to the point. After staring at a blinking cursor for the last fifteen minutes I have decided to follow the NMW’s example and just come right out and say it:

I’m done as a blogger. This will be my last post.

The reason is simple. Over the past several months blogging has become more of a burden than a blessing. It feels more like work than a relaxing pastime. I have found myself often doing posts because I feel like I “have to” more than I simply “want to.” The demands of my top priorities in life – family, church, work, fantasy football, NCAA 2010, and Slurpees – have dramatically increased. My free time and energy have fallen faster than ACORN, though in my case it had nothing to do with pimps and/or women of ill repute.

While the NMH blog has a very small following, a few people may be disappointed in some way that I’m hanging it up. If that’s the case, I’m sorry. There are about 48 buzillion other blogs out there and I’m sure you’ll move on faster than Brad Pitt with a new female co-star. But before you do – thank you! Thank you for your comments. Thank you for your compliments and encouragement. Thank you for helping build a small NMH community. It’s been a very cool ride.

When I started my blog in September 2006 I never intended for anybody outside of my family and close friends to ever read what I wrote. And this is exactly what happened for over a year and a half. Then I wrote the Twilight Series for Dummies (And Desperate LDS Guys) in February 2008 and it got circulated around the web. Suddenly I was getting more traffic that I ever imagined. A reporter from the Salt Lake Tribune interviewed me. Bill Simmons at ESPN gave me a small compliment. People were actually paying me to advertise on my blog. And before I knew it, it felt like I had a second job.

After the initial excitement of seeing my blog grow wore off, the pressure to crank out a couple of good posts every week started to get to me. The pressure was always there, constantly lurking in the back of my mind. Roughly 14% of my brain was continuously saying, “How can I turn this into a blog post…” every time I went on a date, got stuck in traffic, visited a dirty urinal, or went on vacation. In the end, it wore me out. Drained me like a thirsty Homer chugging a cold Duff on a hot summer day.

I debated for a long time if I should scale the blog back a little bit or if I should just shut it down completely. Call me the anti-Favre. I’m 100% out. If I did fewer posts I would still feel that constant pressure to churn out more stuff and find an angle to turn everything I do into a witty post. This all-or-nothing decision has been liberating. I’ve made the right decision.

So, in the spirit of being a Normal Mormon Husband, I’ll give my concluding thoughts as I hobble off into the blogging sunset:

I’m grateful for being NORMAL. It is a blessing to be a pretty regular guy. To experience both the joys and trials of life. To have a job that I sometimes love and sometimes makes me want to throw up before I walk into the building. To have good friends to play hoops with and beat at fantasy football. To find Dollar Menu items delicious. To drive a Honda Accord. To love my country. To get sick and hurt enough that I enjoy my health when it is good. Yes, it’s great to have a normal life.

What a blessing it is to be MORMON. My personal relationships with God the Father and his Son, Jesus Christ, give meaning and purpose to my life. I know the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was founded by the Savior Himself. He leads this church through the power of His priesthood and continuous revelation to modern-day prophets. The word of God is found in the Book of Mormon, and I find peace and direction within its pages. Knowing that I have been sealed to my family for the eternities brings me hope and happiness. It is truly a miracle that an unpaid clergy consisting of normal, imperfect, everyday people like you and me move this great work forward. I love being a part of the Lord’s kingdom here upon the earth and know I have found the truth.

I thoroughly enjoy being a HUSBAND. My wife is my best friend. She radiates purity and goodness and optimism and fun. She makes me laugh. She gives me confidence. It humbles me to know that we made three beautiful kids together. Being a dad is more rewarding (hugs, princess dress-ups, sports, reading books, FHE activities, wrestling, etc.) and more challenging (disciplining, scheduling, losing my free time, providing for a family, etc.) than I ever imagined it would be. My greatest hope in life is that the NMW and I raise our children in a way that will help them love the Lord, love their families, love their fellow men, and love life in general.

Okay, so maybe this was a little more long-winded “good-bye” than what the NMW said to her former high school flame, so sue me.

Oh, man, that could be a hilarious blog post – worst high school break-ups! (Fight the urge, Andrew. Fight the urge…)

108
comments

Hey you know what? I wish you well. I'm just a casual reader and I've enjoyed your humor. You've made me glad that I have a blog that only 4 people read. No pressure. Now go and enjoy your Norman Mormon Life.

I found you through Twlight, Loved Those Posts!!! Here is wishing you and your family... life without blogging pressures, may you still find the humor in everyday life. Laughter is the best medicine of all, Thanks for the laughs you gave all of us!

Ok, I am seriously sad! I was just telling your mom the other day how much I love your blog. (I figured out I was in your mom's ward when you mentioned angela's book, because your mom reviewed it at a RS book night...)

Small world huh? I am the Preston Idaho girl....

Anyway, best of luck... I have really enjoyed your blog and adore your fabulous mother!!

Well I've totally enjoyed reading your blog. And this is a legitimate invitation: Any time you get the urge, like a really great essay just bubbles up inside you and it's just itching to get out, send it to me. I have a semi-large following, and I'm also an editor over at Mormon Mommy Blogs. We'll get you posted and get folks laughing and all the things that writers like you and I live for. And then you can walk away and never look back...until the urge bubbles up again.

I will miss your blog SOOO much. Here's my request: Next time we go through a rough experience (kidney stones, flat tires, etc.) can you just e-mail me a re-cap from your point of view? It's always funnier than what really happened.

Thanks.

Oh, and can you keep writing our family Christmas letters as your creative outlet once a year?

Aw, man! I'm gonna miss your humorous outlook on things, but I totally understand how the pressure to write can make it not as much fun. Thank you for sharing your thoughts & observations these past few years. Thank you for sharing your testimony - not only in this post, but in the way you are living life & raising your kids. Thank you for intentionally or unintentionally pointing me towards other blogs that I now enjoy. : )

I 2nd the request to keep the blog up, tho, so we can still enjoy past postings!

You've just made me VERY sad. Yours is the only blog in the world that I read. My life will be less bright without your blogs in it. However, I understand. So thank you very much for being there for laughs when I need them. I wish you well. *beings to cry*

But many of us - Normal Mormons or not - understand about focusing on things that should be our priority, and realigning ourselves. I'm sure Heavenly Father is pleased with your decision to do so, and is waiting to pour out many blessing upon you and your Normal Mormon Family. Thanks for all the gut-busting fun. It was a great ride for us readers, too!

I've enjoyed reading your blogs, but I totally understand your reasons for stopping. I'm kind of an all or nothing person too.I found your blog through our shared roots, the Twilight posts were just a bonus, a wonderful, magical bonus. Thanks for making me laugh! :)

Don't you think your being a little rash?! What if you find yourself WANTING to blog in the future. (think Michael Jordan and his repeated attempts at "retirement") I'm going to assume you meant: don't expect anything from me, and if I want to, I'll post. In the meantime, enjoy your fam. and your slurpees!

DeNae - Don't even tempt me to post an occasional essay on your site! Today, for example, the NMW and I went on a date that resulted in us eating dinner at a gas station and watching a HORRIBLE movie. A year ago, I would have spent a couple of hours writing the blow-by-blow account. But now, I'm done! Done! Done, ya hear?! Don't tempt me!

Carolyn - Yes, I remember what happened after Michael Jordan came back after retirement. His scoring went from 30.7 ppg with the Bulls to 21.5 in Washington. His FG% dropped from 49.7% to 43.1%. In other words, MJ reached the point where he should have just walked away. I've reached that same point, and I'm done. (Please don't read too much into me comparing myself to MJ, though. He's one of the best ever, like Dave Barry or something. In NBA terms I'm more like Jeff Horancek or Michael Cooper. A good, solid contributor, but not a superstar.)

I'll miss your blog, Drew. I remember when you first started blogging and you went MONTHS at a time without posting. I checked it daily, thinking "Come on, I'm not going to check if you don't update." But then you went and got all famous on us! It's been a fun ride, and thanks for giving my Room Doodles website the NMH bump. (-:

Your quick wit will be missed. I have enjoyed jumping on your blog when I am having a rough day. But I understand the pressure to blog. I will go for weeks and then play catch up. But I hope that you have a enjoyable life with your family and that you will be able to fit in more family time. God Bless!

I came on here tonight looking for a real laugh after a crazy day and now I'm just sad. But I understand the whole priority bit, you can only juggle so many things. I've enjoyed every post you've ever written! Good luck with all your endeavors at normalcy!

I will speak up for the silent majority--those of us who read your posts, laugh our heads off, occasionally learn something, and leave your blog feeling better..., but never reply. I feel like I need to find an NPR station somewhere that is having a pledge drive and make a donation. Thanks for your efforts. They were much appreciated. It seems appropriate to leave my identity anonymous so I can fill the role of the silent readership. No, I'm not your mother or Stephenie Meyer, just a middle aged Mormon guy living in the California foothills outside of Yosemite. Come visit sometime.

Well that stinks for me! I just found you a couple months ago! But you're probably making the right decision. I find myself "blogged down" as well (did you like that? I just made it up on the spot :-), and I only have about four people that read mine! Thanks for making me laugh, and thanks for sharing your testimony in your last post. Good luck to you and your family...

Particularly since, although you've done a whiz bang job at the whole Clark Kent thing, I'm pretty sure you and I have several common acquaintances. And since I'm also fairly confident you and I are the only people from WVC not posting our blogs from Cell Block D, it's all the more important that we REPRESENT!!

Aaah, are you sure? No one in the world can describe West Valley, the West Fest and life in the early ninties like you can, and your twilight take was dead on. Edward really is a woman. Thanks for the laughs.

I will defn miss your take on everything twilight. And on relationships. And marriage. And being a 'normal mormon'. I love your writing. Thanks for sharing it with us. I hope you find another outlet for yr talent. (maybe start another blog...incognito...)

I have been a long time reader i Started reading when i was 17 and i recently just turned 19(so not as long as you have been reading but still pretty long). i loved reading your blogs and i will miss it terribly. I actually missed a college class once because i was reading your blog and forgot i had class and the teacher said if you come in late i'm marking you absent so i didn't go instead i reread a bunch of your posts. You have been a big but very small part of my life. i would read your posts at dinner i have 5 brothers, we would sit around and spend at least an hour discussing you post. i wish you best of luck well wishes and health (always need good health no one wishes you that anymore) with your family and your life. I will miss this.

First time poster here too. I just wanted to say thank YOU! for the good, clean humor. Thanks also for keeping the blog up for the rest of us to catch up on the older posts. I have had SO much fun reading your blog and sharing it with my husband. You have a great talent and I hope you will still publish the book and let us all know about it. My husband is Bishop too and so we totally understand the hardships. Best wishes!!

Just wanted to let you know how much I appreciated your posts! Found you through the Twilight posts but stayed on... Best of luck in your future endevours, even if it's "just" princess dress-ups and office work. Nothin' wrong with a little normal!

Good for you - and I have to laugh, because it was my mom who randomly asked me last night if I'd read that "Normal Husband Guy"'s last post this week (apparently she also became a fan after the Twilight business). And I definitley have to agree with your synopsis of your wife - she is amazing and is an inspiration to me in my twilight-zone-similar-life from afar ALL THE STINKING TIME.

So good luck and don't be a guy and fill up your new free time with something lame. :)

MNH,Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and time with us. Many of your posts have been truly hilarious and I appreciate your take on Twilight more than anything. Thanks for all the fun and may your life be filled with continued blessings!

Good Riddance. Wait that came out wrong, what I meant was, I will be sad to see you go, but fully understand. I enjoyed your posts for the short time I was here. It was good to get back in touch. You are a talented blogger.

Just want to say thanks and as sad as I am to hear you are done I do understand. I actually found myself wondering how you had time to write these posts and other times I wondered if it was difficult to come up with new things to write about all the time. I'm sure it is nice to have one less burden to worry about. I guess I'll just have to wait until you are a retired, empty-nester, ward librarian (no real responsibilities outside the block) with nothing else to do before you can blog again.Thanks again and good luck.

Happy to say I am one of your Twilight Junkie converts. Thanks for giving this Partially Normal (despite affection for all things vampire) Mormon Wife a few good laughs. Your presence in my google reader will be missed.

Well, I just found your blog last week and now I have to say goodbye. What's up with that!!!

I just want to say "thanks" for being the kind of guy you are, opening up and letting us girls know what's going on in a guys head. "thanks" for having the morals and standards that you do. "thanks" for being so darned intertaining and clean. I hopefully there are more "normal" mormons in the world to carry on in your tradtion. If not, maybe I should blog more often...

I found you through your Twilight posts, and was looking forward to your new moon movie reviews.....but I have followed you for sometime, quietly in the rafters so to speak. Great job, I love your humor, your take on things, and that you put your family first! GO be a Normal Mormon Husband, and enjoy life!

NMH,I think NMW was getting sick of seeing how many women read & comment on your blog. I think the ratio of Girl Comments to Guy Comments is like 35-1 and most of the guy comments are yours. Your not going to pull a Brett Farve on us and start posting blogs on the HBO New Blood are you?

You made it look so effortless, but I can see how the pressure would take away the fun. I have truly enjoyed your blog. So many times I laughed out loud when I read it. "I laughed, I cried. It moved me, Bob!" I do hope you'll consider guest-blogging for Mormon Mommy Blogs when the urge hits. No pressure, just write when you want..... And enjoy a more peaceful life with your family.

I ended up staring at the keyboard for some time as I contemplated what to say. Even now I am stalling. I will definitely miss your blog. Few people I have encountered have such a gift for turning normal, everyday incidents into gut-busting stories - you are one of those few. Any time I have been having a stressful day, I could click on your blog and know there would be something clean and humorous to help me back up. Thanks for the laughs and for the testimony. You rock!

NOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! You can't do this to me. We can work it out, I know we can. Just give us another chance! I know it's me and not you, but I can change...i won't expect too much from you anymore...and I will try to stop stalking your blog even though you don't know me....just please, don't say this is the end? Okay, I get it..the silent treatment......well fine...maybe I will be better off with out your sparkling personality and hilarious humor to keep me going everyday. I'll think of it as just one less blog to read on my google reader....that's right...I don't need you...I dump you! (okay, not really....you are awesome and I will miss your posts...so long NMH....it was good while it lasted!)

OK NMH I will miss you. Just wondering why you didn't consider paying someone to "take over" writing for you and keep the money coming? Not that anyone could take your place but there are some other funny people out there....

Best wishes! Thanks for sharing your talent. Maybe one of these days you can get around to writing a book (once your kids are a little older). The Twilight series for dummies was absolutely hilarious! Thank you.

Thanks for your testimony - that is probably the most important thing you could share in your departure back to being a normal husband with a great wife and family. Thanks for sharing and now continue to use your time wisely for none of us know how much time we really have here to secure our place in heaven and help rescue others.

When The popular comment layout is common, so it is easily recognized scanning to post a comment. If the comment section is in a different format, then I am going to spend more time trying to decipher what everything means.

Excellent work..Marriage is a lifetime affair which requires utmost adjustment from both the sides. In order to have a happy married life,, you must learn to live with the negative and positive aspects of your life partner. It’s natural that everyone has a different nature and attitude and adjusting with these dissimilarities is what makes marriage a challenge!!

I very randomly just happened upon your blog and was literally laughing out loud at some of your posts! You are too funny and I'm sorry to see you hung up your hat 4 years ago. I hope you're writing a book.