This is the first step for every liberal on the way to recovery. It is important to understand that you’re not “progressive”, “moderate”, or “enlightened”. You’re a liberal, and you need to be honest with yourself about that fact.

Step 2: Pledge to support your beliefs with facts

Realize that truth is more important than moral superiority and is the only way to come over to reality. You must research beyond propaganda from the Sierra Club, Hillary Clinton, and CNN to understand things as they really exist in the world. You can no longer argue based on “feelings” or emotion. You will actually need to back up your arguments with real information. This is a difficult step, because it means you can’t be lazy any more.

Step 3: Love America

This may be the most difficult step for those of you who are hippies and peaceniks. Admitting that the country you hate actually stands as a beacon to defend freedom throughout the world can make some of you physically ill. You might want to make a visit to a military cemetery to better understand that these men and women gave their lives so that you could spew hatred. Otherwise, you would currently be living in a police state that would never let you wear that nasty patchouli oil, let alone speak out against your government.

Step 4: Take a college level economics class

A Socialist is defined as someone who’s never taken an economics class. Most Socialists have a hard time balancing their checkbooks, let alone explaining the simple concept of supply-and-demand. It’s time to flush your complete ignorance of basic economics down the toilet and understand how the world actually functions. This concept will be very important for the next steps that involve communism, facts about corporations, and the inefficiencies of government.

Step 5: Say “no” to Communism and Socialism

While this concept is obvious to most of the free world, it is an important step in your recovery process. If you have difficulty with this step, spend a week living and working in Cuba.

Step 6: Corporations are not evil

If you’re reading this article online or in an email, it’s thanks to corporations. If you get some kind of paycheck, you can thank corporations. If you work for a non-profit or the government, you still have to thank corporations. The non-profit sector and the government wouldn’t have any money to pay you without corporations. It is also important that you understand that making a profit doesn’t equate to “greed” or exploitation. Capitalism has created the greatest society in our world’s history. Even communist countries need corporations to survive, so enjoy a nice, hot cup of reality.

Step 7: The government is inefficient

If you are one of those liberals who believe the government should tax us more in order to take care of society, you need to pay special attention to this step. You need to realize that government bureaucracy will waste most of your tax dollars, while the private sector will put your money to much better use. Even most Democrat politicians understand this to some degree, which is why Hillary’s socialist healthcare proposal was voted down by a majority of both Democrats and Republicans. Go to your local post office or call the IRS to ask a tax question if you need a reminder about government inefficiency.

Step 8: The earth is not your “mother”, and she’s not dying

The time has now come to stop your donations to Greenpeace, The Sierra Club, and every other EnviroNazi organization to which you belong. Face the reality that the earth, society and our environment are better off today than ever in recorded history and that they are continuing to improve. I realize that many of you tree huggers will have a very difficult time letting go of the Douglas Fir on this one. I would suggest reading The Skeptical Environmentalist by Bjorn Lomborg. Mr. Lomborg is a former member of Greenpeace and is currently a statistics professor at a university in Denmark. He set out to prove the world was in bad shape and ended up surprising himself by proving the exact opposite.

Step 9: Stop smoking the wacky tobacco

Okay, some of you might need to enter another 12-step program to complete this step. Marijuana is distorting your sense of reality, and you need to stop using it. Besides, you’ll save a fortune on snacks.

Step 10: Eat a hamburger

If God didn’t intend for us to eat animals, he wouldn’t have made them out of meat. You can put your sprouts and tofu on the hamburger, but get some meat into you. You’ll look and feel better than you ever imagined. You can always remind yourself that Nazi propaganda hailed Adolf Hitler as a vegetarian to get you through this step.

Step 11: Stop re-writing political history

It’s now time to admit that Bill Clinton is a lying-cheating-sexist-racist-rapist jackass, Hillary Clinton is one of the worst role models for women in this country, Al Gore really did lose the 2000 election by every vote tabulation you attempt, Ronald Reagan ended the Cold War and didn’t create the homeless problem, John McCain is not a typical Republican, and Jimmy Carter is a nice man but has one of the worst presidential records of anyone in history.

Step 12: Be a missionary

Once you have completed the previous steps to overcoming liberalism, it’s time for you to share this awakening with others who are not as fortunate. Go out amongst the liberal sheep and spread the good word of your freedom from the chains of ignorance that once bound you. Congratulations, and welcome to reality.

I couldn’t help but notice the curious lack of females in any of the coverage today. Is this some sort of Arab thing I don’t understand? I thought Baghdad was pretty westernized. I saw one mother with her children in one shot, but not even any female journalists. Weird. Anybody who cares to enlighten me on this, email me please.

I never was under any illusions about this war of ours. I think Iraq was just the first beachhead. I think that while not all about the oil, oil has more to do with it than humanitarian aid. I think a large part of this is revenge, mixed with equal amounts of ‘Never Again’. I am pro any war. I think it keeps you on your toes, and provides great television. I will be pleasantly surprised if the Iraqi’s become our friends, but I will not hold my breath.
This war has been prosecuted more brilliantly than any other campaign I can think of, offhand. This administration has played the media and public opinion like I’ve never seen. They bait & switch and lie and obfuscate and then just go and do what they want…and brilliantly.
Syria’s next…maybe. The way things have gone we could wake up tomorrow and China and Russia could begetting hammered. China and Russia are sweating…not in their faces, but the real cold sweat that comes from facing a real threat…the one that causes a trickle of sweat to run down your back and into your butt-crack…and then you shiver, just a bit.
The House and the Senate have been irrelevant for so long, they don’t know how to become relevant again. Bush’s team keeps them down on the mat, where they can barely hear the count through the ringing in their ears. We The People see how irrelevant they are, and hopefully we will vote a lot, and a lot smarter in the next elections.
We are opening up an oil pipeline to Israel and Jordan that hasn’t been opened since the British left in 1955. Brilliant. We are closing the pipeline to Syria. Brilliant. I suspect Syria may fall without a shot being fired. If not, the 4th Mechanized is poised to cut through them like shit through a goose. Brilliant. We are casting a thoughtful and malevolent gaze upon Turkey. I still have hope that they will roll over and show their throat and then scamper happily along a few paces behind us. Maybe.
Unless somebody out there has a brilliant, evil plan that can stop us, the world’s paradigm has shifted. The only one I can see right now that are smart and mean and equipped well enough to hamper us is Israel. Bush better be careful with them. They have taken enough shit, and I’m not sure how much more they will take. I see the Israel/Palestenian issue as the most significant and dangerous diplomatic issue facing the United States today. We’ve blockaded North Korea and they dare not make a move right now, and China is subtly ingratiating themselves with us by tweaking North Koreas attitude here and there. China’s war doctine says that they expect to be at war with us within five years. I hope our Leaders know this and take heed.
The second most dangerous trouble spot for the United States is our still porous and open borders. Bad People carrying Bad Things are knocking at our doors. We are becoming a fanatic magnet.
The third most dangerous trouble spot is South America, from Mexico to the Cape. Between the proliferation of Fundamentalist Islam, nuclear weapons, and communism, this is becoming a pot we had better be prepared to stir, soon, and to sift the nasty lumps out of it.
In the meantime, God Bless Our Boys, and God Bless My Boys, and don’t for a second think this is over.

Yet again, Col. Hackworth gravely disappoints me…you don’t need to know…his weak-sister propaganda will just turn your good solid turds to liquishit. I no longer will ever ever take a word that slips out of his infected pie-hole seriously. He and Peter Arnette need to go off and 69 each other to just shut themselves the fuck up.
Man, to think I used to worship this guy. He’s a peg below Michael Moore, if that is even possible.
Fuck.