Personal note: About two months ago my wife went on a diet, and she was hitting the workouts pretty hard. I was like, "Dude, why are you going on a diet? You're really great, just like you are."

I really hope you actually said "Dude."

Ron_Mexico, on Sunday, April 22nd, 2012, 6:40 AM, said:

I didn't know you could spell "pussy" with three letters

speedz99, on Sunday, April 22nd, 2012, 7:01 AM, said:

Box.

Both of these made me laugh out loud.

iZuma, on Monday, April 23rd, 2012, 9:33 AM, said:

god damnit, did I tell you guys about that plan management here had to move me to another position that I don't want and without asking me? well I had a few people tell me that they got so much pushback from other groups on how stupid that was that they gave up on it. well now I just got word that it's back on and happening soon. son of a bitch. seriously though, am I making too much of this? I mean technically it's a promotion with a little more money (though in actuality less since I won't get overtime anymore and my overtime is more than any raise they would give) and they're all trying to build it up as "good experience," but shit, it's taking me off the career path I've been working towards for five years, plus it'll also keep me from being able to post out for other internal jobs I may want for two years. plus, I mean, I feel like it's pretty damn disrespectful. am I being stupid here? do other companies do stuff like this?

I don't know why you haven't given up yet. Just be like, whatever, and shit. It would help with your ulcers. Do you have ulcers? I don't know what an ulcer is.

Napa Lite, on Monday, April 23rd, 2012, 1:20 PM, said:

Speaking of, I had been looking at jobs with NBA teams and OKC has an opening for assistant controller and it's been open for awhile but it says "4 years experience" and so I was hesitant to apply even though I think I'm qualified based off the job description.

If you find any jobs with NBA teams that aren't in Oklahoma City, keep me in mind.

brvheart, on Tuesday, April 24th, 2012, 4:13 AM, said:

I saw The Limey, Joey. Basic Steven Soderbergh. I don't think I would ever want to see it again, but it was a solid 6.5/10. Up next, Hannah.

Things I call my girlfriend:Buddy[Her Name]FriendoDudeBudI think I've called her "Sweetie" like twice over the year and a half we've been dating, only when she was having a really bad day.

That one's the best.

"We had all the momentum. We were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look west, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark, that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back." —Raoul Duke, Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas

"Those are brave men knocking at the door. Let's go and kill them!" - Tyrion Lannister

Dammit.... Even after quoting and seeing the invisitext I'm still posting....Maybe that's why you have so many kids....In other news, been lazing around the pool house this evening. Drinking and watching a bird feed her young. Where you didn't ask? Why... Right above my head. Bitch be building here for four years now. Wife don't enjoy the poop stains on the ceiling but I'm too soft hearted to block her entrance every springOh hell... Twitvid coming!This time for reals

Apropos of nothing, 2 annoying people who annoyed me today:1. Standing outside of a building smoking a cigarette for about 30 seconds. Doorman comes outside and tells me I can't smoke there. I quickly apologize and start to walk down the block. Woman also standing in front of the building says to the doorman, "Thank you," as intensely as she can. Bitch, ask me to move if it's bothering you so goddam much! I apologized to her too. No response.2. Waiting in line at a pharmacy. 60ish year old woman in line ahead of me becomes visibly and orally annoyed at how long it's taking the pharmacist to assist the woman ahead of her ("Oh my God," "Come on," etc.). When it's her turn to go she literally spends 60-90 seconds counting out change. Bitch counted out 8 pennies on top of her nickels and dimes and quarters! Eight fucking pennies but she's in a rush! And you know she laid them out on the counter and counted them each individually. I should have started muttering "OMG come on" but I'm not a cunt.tldr: People suck.

Karl: She was a bit -- what's the word that you can use, cuz I don't wanna offend anyone?
Steve: Was she a homeless person?
Karl: Yeah but sort of mental homeless.

I always pick the line at the market that has someone paying with a check. There's like seven people left in the world that still pay for their groceries with checks and they're always in front of me. This probably doesn't surprise anyone, but people who pay with checks invariably have lots of coupons.

I hate women who stand on line and stare at the cashier as they ring in their food and wait until the very end to get their total and THEN take their purse off their shoulder and dig around looking for their wallet and then dig through that to get their credit card. You know you will have to pay for the food do why not get the card out while the cashier is ringing up your 50 items. Or the idiots who use the self check out with way too many items and most are produce and they keep having difficulty figuring out the codes.

In other news, been lazing around the pool house this evening. Drinking and watching a bird feed her young. Where you didn't ask? Why... Right above my head. Bitch be building here for four years now. Wife don't enjoy the poop stains on the ceiling but I'm too soft hearted to block her entrance every spring

yeah I've got a bird (or bird family really) that builds a nest in one of the holes in my roof every year. tried to fill it up with that "great stuff" sealant stuff but they just picked it on out and built away. and yeah, they're all cute until you open the door and there's an 8 foot black snake dangling from your ceiling munching on baby birds.

timwakefield, on Tuesday, April 24th, 2012, 7:03 PM, said:

Apropos of nothing, 2 annoying people who annoyed me today:tldr: People suck.

you handled both of these situations as vaginally as possible.

DJ Vu, on Tuesday, April 24th, 2012, 7:08 PM, said:

I always pick the line at the market that has someone paying with a check. There's like seven people left in the world that still pay for their groceries with checks and they're always in front of me. This probably doesn't surprise anyone, but people who pay with checks invariably have lots of coupons.

oh man, the people that pay in checks. how horrible are they? sometimes I don't mind because usually they're little old ladies and I mean we can't expect them to figure out credit/debit cards since they're almost dead, but anybody below sixty that uses checks for groceries is a horrible piece of shit that needs to die.

iBeaver, on Tuesday, April 24th, 2012, 7:35 PM, said:

I hate women

hey me too!

AmScray, on 30 August 2010 - 12:41 PM, said:

one cannot possibly ascribe themselves to the larger (D) philosophy without first being a poon