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Twelve people were living under the subway. The ‘twelve’ kept their distance from each other, but each contributed to their daily survival. Great food scavenged from fine restaurant’s trash cans, heat from a wood fire that was always tended to and electricity from a circuit that was tapped into. They watched the scratchy picture of the 12-in black and white TV and they saw the life that went on above them. They were curious if they could live above ground, not just go above to retrieve what they needed for the day, but if they could stay and fit in. Would their life above be any better than the grey pictures of their TV? They had to try.

They each departed with only the clothes on their backs and one extra change of clothes. Once above ground, they scattered and each wandered the city. Unbeknownst to one another, they each met a man with brillo-textured hair who rambled on about how he hated the color brown. This unusual man gave each a card on which was written an address…

Each of the “twelve” found the address and one by one they entered a curtained room. They were instructed to choose a sewing box, which contained a number. The number corresponded to a model and they were given the task of dressing their model in the best representation of their work, which luckily they had brought with them from their subwayworld.

The numbers were used to divide the ’12’ into teams of six each: The House of Nami and The House of Emerald Syx. The design houses are to design a cohesive collection based on international model/cosmetics creator/icon/wife of David Bowie… IMAN. One member of the winning house will be crowned ‘the winner’ and one member of the losing design house will be sent back to the underworld.

After each design house has briefly discussed their strategy, they were taken to an area by the man with the brillo hair who hates the color brown, Isaac Mizrahi, to explain their vision. Their collections were presented on the runway to the judges, Isaac, Iman, Laura Brown and guest judge, Rachel Roy for review. After the judges deliberated, the House of Nami was announced as the winner and a member of the House of Emerald Syx was shown the door, but not before they took back the sewing kit and her number.

The Fashion Show is Bravo’s second try and they need to keep trying. If Bravo cannot devise their own formula for a fashion reality show, they need to gracefully bow out of this genre until they find a unique blueprint that will challenge Project Runway. Iman has replaced ho-hum Kelly Rowland as co-host, but she’s no competition for Heidi in the co-hosting spot. Iman is a fashionista from way back, but she went to the Camilla Alves (Shear Genius) school of TV hosting… we could use subtitles, please. Laura Brown has been added as the ‘editorial judge’ ala Nina Garcia. Rachel Roy was the guest judge, recycled from guest judging on this season’s Project Runway. Then there’s Isaac Mizrahi. Tim Gunn is the gold standard and Isaac is…well, Tim Gunn is Tim Gunn and Tim Gunn hasn’t a prejudice toward any color.

There are more comparisons at which TFS flatlines: Project Runway shops at Mood and The Fashion Show at Zarin fabrics; Project Runway’s designers are ensconsed at the Atlas and The Fashion Show designers are stowed somewhere on NYC’s West Side; Project Runway’s designers are themselves stylish and The Fashion Show designers haven’t looked in a mirror lately.

The Fashion Show wants to be fashion forward, but ends up on the clearance rack.

Bravo, please go back to Andy’s place or wherever all the Bravo producers hang out and conceptualize an innovative formula for a fashion reality show that would excite and engage your viewers.

Back to the episode… the remaining designers dropped their scissors in unison, grabbed their extra change of clothes, abandonded the workroom, exiled from The Fashion Show, and dropped back into their underground lives.