“I’ve been thinking about apple pie all morning. This afternoon, at a coffee shop, they are serving apple pie and I choose to order a slice.”

Normal, right?

However, when we get upset our thinking becomes clouded by survival hormones and defense reactions. Adrenaline, cortisol and other biochemicals flood our brain and body.

When I have worrying, anxious, angry, negative thoughts, my body doesn’t know the difference between the thought and the real situation. It goes into survival mode. My awareness and ability to perceive the big picture narrows.

When I have reassuring, hopeful, grateful, compassionate thoughts, my body doesn’t know the difference either. It feels safe, happy, creative. It goes into a curious, exploring, creative mode. My awareness and ability to perceive and also to imagine new pictures expands, limitlessly.

Our thoughts affect our awareness. It is our awareness that drives our ability to recognize choices and discover new possibilities.

It is our choices that determine the outcomes, the results we get. Often, we are not even aware of how our choices set up the results.

The good news is as we learn to change our state of awareness,

we can recognize more choices and get different results.

What would you feel like, if you always knew there were 3 or more choices in any situation, and you were free to choose any of them?

Take a moment to close your eyes and feel into that freedom, with gratitude and compassion!

Notice the felt sensations of freedom to choose, in your body. Take 3 minutes and go into that state of awareness, freedom!

Imagine you are free to choose – even if you might be under the constrictions of people who have power over you, power to disconnect from you, to reject you.

When you can let go of fear, then you realize your personal power, and no longer see it as held outside of yourself. Your personal power of choice resides within you, and you alone.

What can we do when we feel someone can reject our idea or choice?

We can remember that they reject the idea or choice, not ourselves!

Understanding this difference allows us to ask another question.

“What would work for them?”

You stay in your personal power when you understand we are not diminished by their response. It’s just their response, their opinion; not the truth about our value as human beings.

How to stay self confident if others disagree with your choice, awareness rests upon 3 principles:

1) This thought is just a thought; we are not sure how they reject the choice. Maybe they misunderstood. Maybe they have a different need or perspective. Maybe there is a way to combine ideas and collaborate. Maybe it’s not a reciprocal relationship. Sometimes we have to move away from people or ideas that are toxic.

2) We hear a call-to-action; although sometimes that is the choice not to act. Choosing not to act sometimes is our biggest work, which is truly love in action. This supports a model of compassion that leads to others having the freedom of choice too.

3) Listen carefully; other people’s models of the world indicate their choices, understanding and awareness. Their truth may or may not be our truth. Does the other person’s model support our highest purposes and vision we hold to be true for ourselves today now? (We change our model as we grow.)

You may find it necessary to let people go from your life because they are not in tune with your model. You may hear new opportunities to ask questions or share ideas. Your ability to discuss ideas and choices, and to know you have the freedom to choose empowers you.

Give yourself permission to let go of people who are no longer able to let us be free to be the person we are today. We can let them go by drifting away or by a definite choice to let them go.

Freedom, ultimately, consists of faith in our own innate goodness and caring, trusting that our interaction with the universe remains synchronous and responsive.

We human beings are hard-wired to look for certainty in an uncertain world.

The survival part of our brain has a micro-second response time to keep us alive. We need it. But it’s not effective when there is no life-or-death risk.

There is another choice. We can learn how to control this reaction, with awareness and practice.

It’s a normal part of human development to learn how to increase our awareness.

How can we can monitor our reactions, not act from instinct alone, and make wiser choices? Why do we need to learn this?

People will stay with a painful situation because of the familiar pattern.

The risk level that they associate with anything new feels too great to make a new choice. This becomes doubly challenging when they live in constant stress and anxiety. It’s hard to imagine another way is available to them.

Yet, we yearn to learn!

Making new choices is essential to the other hard-wired aspect of being human. Life offers continual learning opportunities, we are invited, by a series of approximations into learning about life and ourselves while we are busy exploring, discovering, growing and sharing. It is a human strength.

We have a saying in our CE community. “If it’s either/or, ask for more!”

How to make more choices available?

Pause, take a breath. Focus on 1 thing for which you feel gratitude or compassion for 3 minutes. This changes your biochemistry “switch” back to felt sensations in your body of creativity, imagination, curiosity and safety.

Then keep exploring options until you have at least 3 choices or more to choose from. Where you feel free to choose any of them. You will see clear results from clear choices.