funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people

Oh, gaufre…yourself

Maureen is the first to admit that when she studied abroad in Belgium, she was not the best of roommates (coming home intoxicated at 4 a.m. several times a week, an awkward run-in with a boyfriend, that kind of thing.) And yet, over the course of many months, her Belgian roommate never once complained.

One night, Maureen came home to find her roommate’s possessions neatly packed up in boxes. Before she had a chance to talk to her, everything — save this note — was gone, which Maureen interprets as “a not so subtle way of telling me she never wants to see me again.” (I’d say that’s a pretty safe bet.)

For once I don’t blame the person who wrote this note. The girl admits she was an awful room mate, she was lucky enough to have someone who didn’t complain about her annoying habits, and is blasting the real victim on a website because she was tactful in her way of burning the bridge? As someone who just (literally two days ago) got out of a terrible room mate situation, I feel bad for the writer.

I’m sorry, but did I miss the part where she “blasts” her roommate? She simply posted a note for us all to enjoy, along with an interpretation with which we can probably all concur. What the hell are you so up in arms about?

No, I think she’s just a selfish little brat who just enjoys being ‘seen’ on the internet, even if it’s in a decidedly unflattering light. You know what they say, speak well or speak ill, as long as you speak of me…

Yeah, I wouldn’t really think “Can you not come home drunk at 4 am several times a week” is something you even need to say. I would just assume someone who’s doing that is an asshole who will start drama if I talk to them about maybe not doing it.

what? really? do you guys have any empathy whatsoever? at the very least you could ask if she’s ok. and then at some point you need to make the person aware of the problems she’s causing you, to allow her to fix it.

i mean, this could’ve gone terribly worse with a news report at 6pm of Maureen being killed in a DUI after fleeing from her abusive boyfriend at 4am. how would you feel as her roommate because you never spoke up?

Space, this person is not their mother or their sister. They don’t owe them “empathy”.

Besides, she clearly admits that she wasn’t the best room-mate, so she knows damn well that her behaviour did bother her room-mate.

Once that thing happens, the onus is on the offender not the offended to acknowledge the breach.

This is exactly the sort of thing that happens with people who aren’t honest and upfront about their partying habits. Don’t lie and say that you’re not a party person when you really are a party person.

People – especially students – have commitments and not everyone can handle coming home at 4 AM and/or being woken up by partying room-mates at 4AM. Just because you can do that doesn’t make you a “better” person , and just because you can’t (or choose not to) doesn’t mean that you’re a bad room-mate.

“Don’t lie and say that you’re not a party person when you really are a party person”

My parents would ask for non-smoking hotel rooms when traveling, then smoke in them. When I found this out, I was rather shocked at their bad behavior. Mom: “Well, we don’t want to stay in a room that reeks of smoke.”

This was before hotels started instituting fines of hundreds of dollars on people who smoked in nonsmoking rooms.

Red – I think the same kind of reasoning goes for party people who intentionally seek out non-partiers as room-mates.

There must be some kind of ego trip going on when it’s really important to you that you be considered the biggest partier at your house. Clearly these people don’t want to risk living with other partiers because they don’t want to get into the vicious cycle of one-upping their room-mates.

Space,
I lived with someone who partied all the time. I said something to her and she just kept doing it. She ended up in a car accident, where she broke her leg so bad she was in a metal brace for 6 months.

Her parents blamed me for not “doing anything.” I told them to “fuck off” because their daughter is not my problem.

I had done everything that was required of me as a good person, I asked to speak with the RA about the issue, they did nothing, a new room opened up and she was going to move into a single. I am not responsible for a 21 year old, just like no one else is responsible for my bad habits.

Empathy ? Space, you’re saying the person being a complete asshat is the one deserving empathy ? And the person getting walked all over is actually at fault for not caring enough about the roommate who’s making her life impossible ? Wow, that is amazing.

It’s kinda like the people who go on behaving like total loudmouth boors, until someone finally says something, and they go “Oh but you should have told me, I didn’t know you felt that way !”. Well no, they shouldn’t have told you – you should have known you were being an asshole. THAT is what empathy is supposed to be.

Simply leaving in this situation is what I perceive to be the path of least resistance. Why bother trying to change someone who parties and has drama with their boyfriend? They’re not your responsibility and they very probably won’t change because anybody else wants them to. So the easiest way to get a roommate who you DO enjoy is to…get a new roommate. That entails one or the other roommate leaving. Why kick up a fuss when it won’t change anyway?

I sleep like a rock, so if I had a roommate that came home regularly at 4am, even noisily, I’d probably sleep through it. It’s roommates – it’s always awkward.

I don’t think Maureen’s trashing her ex-roommate, but really, if it’s bothering you, say something. Especially if there’s more than just drunken mayhem. But, personally, as long as you’re clean and respect personal space, I’m cool.

I once had a roommate I wanted to get rid of. So I hired a hooker to screw him one night and then keep stopping by the house like an obsessive stalker. He was gone within a week. No forwarding address.

Well, more than once, actually. Then, in one of the most-monumental acts of karma I hope never to experience again, a roommate who was a good friend of mine screwed, in fairly rapid sequence, my two most-fervent crushes at the time….in one case, quite loudly and in the living room.

Strangely, we remained friends for several years after…but then again, there was very little about that era of my life that was NOT strange, so make of it what you will.

The left-behind roommate was not the hottest chick in this place. And, yes, she knew she was a douchette. (Don’t start on me about making a feminine out of a feminine, ok? It’s early here.)

The Belgian gets mad etiquette points for leaving a written note. In a serviceable script. In flawless English. She’s gone to a better place. And not looking back. This isn’t passive. It’s not aggressive. It’s class.

It might be a language barrier. I went on a German exchange trip when I was 14, they visit you then you visit them deal. And when I left, my partner told me to ‘have a nice life’ – and I was like O.O whoa, ouch. But it turned out she genuinely had meant it, and didn’t realise it was something we say in England as a sarcastic comment – we stayed in contact for a good couple of years after that. So perhaps it’s less passive aggressive then it seems, and more a case of somebody from Belgium with very good English, but less understanding of phrasing?

And the other problem with partying room-mates is that you can’t live in the place you’re paying for, so you still have to look for somewhere else to be able to study, etc. that you were planning to do at home.

The submitter should just be glad that Andrea didn’t change the locks, pack up all of Maureen’s stuff and left them in the hallway and/or lawn. That would have been passive aggressive. Moving out was the nicest thing she could have done.

And besides, if you can afford to party until 4AM with enough frequency, I’m sure you can probably divert some of your partying funds toward covering the other half of the rent.

I’ve had bad roommates and in some cases, trying to have a nice conversation about their rude habits is pointless. They’re often that way because they’ve been spoiled since birth, raised badly or have personality disorders. A girl who comes home drunk 4 days a week is not going to up and change. She probably told her “I’m almost never here, I go out a lot.”

The note writer is nicer then I would be. You want to come home stupidly late and drunk a few times a week. Guess what in my family we like to rearrange the furniture late at night. I hope you like the new home I found for everything and there is no straight path to any room in the place. Good luck. I hope to trip over something, that will at lest make me giggle when your drunk ass wakes me up in the middle of the night.

Comments are Closed

"The thing that drives me bonkers at work is to open up the trash can drawer and see a cup half-full of water that was carefully placed into the trash can so it doesn't spill--in a trash can an arm's length away from the kitchen sink!

99% of the people in my office are college graduates, probably toward the top of their class. But some without enough common sense to pour the water in the sink before putting the cup into the trash can.