A 3D Postman Pat film. Like Avatar? Exactly like Avatar … if Avatar was a film about a weirdly chinless delivery man who decides to take part in an X Factor-style reality show so that he can take his wife on a lovely holiday with the prize money.

Is that what happens in Avatar? I don't know. I fell asleep during it.

Me too. Long, isn't it?

Why are you telling me this? Because Prince Charles has just toured the Jordan animation studio where the Postman Pat film is being made. The artists even made an 8in model of Charles towering over Pat and his cat Jess to commemorate the visit.

Sorry. So why is this film being made in Jordan? Postman Pat has been shown in Jordan for decades. He is a beloved figure there. Generations of children have grown up watching his sedate adventures in the village of Greendale.

And it is probably cheaper than making it in the UK. Well, yes. Unnecessarily three-dimensional Postman Pat talent show movies aren't a charity, you know.

Please tell me that Prince Charles said something embarrassing, at least. He asked one animator: "Have you been doing this since you were quite small? Is it hereditary?"

That's not very embarrassing in the big scheme of things. I wish Prince Philip were in Jordan instead of Prince Charles. Me too. I wish Prince Philip was everywhere all the time.