17 Unanswered Questions I Have About Hocus Pocus, In GIFs

We all know that Hocus Pocus is best served with a dash of Sex and the City, but can it also accompany a side dish of skepticism? Eh, ignore my terrible metaphors and let’s talk the tough stuff: confusion I have about everyone’s favorite nostalgic Halloween movie.

Endlessly quotable, infinitely GIFable, hilariously mashable, excellent adaptable – Hocus Pocus is a beloved movie that the majority of us can agree is equal parts hilarious and hokey. But I have questions, guys. A lot of questions.

1. What kind of jerk parents force their kids to move across the country in the middle of the fall?

7. Why didn’t Max and Dani’s parents listen to them? Sure, they didn’t have to believe a story about witches, but when both your children — one of whom is well past the age of make believe — run all over town to find you and tell you’re they’re panicking, shouldn’t that raise some red flags?

Do you really want answers.? Because I think I could provide some… or at least hypothetical answers.

1. I don’t think they moved in the middle of the school year. If school started early September, it could have just been a couple of months. Not to mention, they all looked pretty settled (i.e. no moving boxes/unpacking) shown in the movie. Also, you can say you “just moved here” a few months after the move.

6. Kids in movies always have more knowledge and clear communication than in real life. My cousin is 10 and she talks nothing like Dani. Kids’ thought processes are way more scattered.

8-9. Maybe Binx can only talk to virgins and other supernatural beings? That explains Dani, Max, Allison, the witches and Billy only being able to hear him.

10. I don’t think they were freaked out by the road but if you look at the pic, it looks like water… very very black water. Don’t witches hate water?

14. Yes I think Billy was hot in his undead days, too! If you look past the sunken, shrivelled skin and sewn up mouth lol