FOR the first time, two very deserving winners tie in this category. Eddie Murphy's NORBIT (right) has entered my vocabulary - I often say: "It's totally Norbit," meaning "absolutely terrible". The other winner is EVAN ALMIGHTY, which is totally Norbit.

WORST KIDS FILM Arthur And The invisibles

POOR European animation A RTHUR AND THE INVISIBLES. Not bloody invisible enough.

WORST DRAMA Factory Girl

UNTIL FACTORY GIRL, Sienna Miller had never had a lead role to show us what she could do. Now we've seen what she can do, hopefully she'll never do it again.

WORST HORROR The Reaping

THAT Oscar win has never seemed further away than watching HILARY Swank (left) flop her way through THE REAPING, where a town in the American South is being subjected to what seem to be the Ten Biblical Plagues.

Made me quite spiritual - I ended up screaming to the heavens: "Oh God, why do you let bad things happen?" Interesting trivia: its filming was delayed by Hurricane Katrina. Even God tried to stop it being made.

WORST FOREIGN FILM Flanders

IMAGINE a book with two-thirds of the pages left blank, and on the remainder, some random scribble and the odd word that doesn't really mean anything.

That's what a novel of the terrible film FLANDERS would be like. Its big message is War Is Bad. Having seen it, the horrors of war are preferable to sitting through this movie.