Detroit's sporty front-drive compacts of the early 1980s meet many of the qualifications for serious Hell Garage inmates, but where's the racing heritage? Oh, sure, the Citaion X-11 competed in SCCA Showroom Stock racing back in the day, but the Hell Garage Demons are now fans of the kind of racing that involves dirt roads, crowds of drunken Spaniards staggering into the grilles of onrushing cars, turbocharging, and four-wheel-drive: Group A rally racing in the late 1980s!

The Japanese car companies put together some great race cars during this era, and ordinary schmoes could buy the showroom versions right at their friendly local dealerships. Most of these cars have been obliterated by "tuner" types who bolt on a gigantic Chinese turbocharger and then seek out the nearest concrete barrier, sideways at 90 MPH, but we're going to do our best to find a pair that have avoided the worst of that abuse.

A Project Car Hell Mazda 323 GTX.

The Mazda 323 of the late 1980s was a perfectly sensible little econobox, just the thing for no-drama commutes to the cubicle farm or shopping mall. However, add turbocharging, all-wheel-drive, and suspension modifications and you had a completely different machine.

With 143 horsepower in a vehicle weighing just barely more than a ton, the 323 GTX could really vaporize transmissions haul the mail. Put it on dirt or snow and hit the throttle and you'd experience broken expensive parts serious rally-style madness.

Not many GTXs were made, and most of them have been used up and discarded by now… but not to worry! We've managed to round up this "Super Dooper" 1988 Mazda 323 GTX in Southern California (go here if the listing disappears) in Southern California. How much does the seller want? Sorry, that unimportant piece of information isn't included in the description; the listed price of one dollar is a helpful method by which Craigslist car sellers ensure that prospective buyers using the maximum-price filter in the search function don't suffer the unpleasantness of having cars they can't afford excluded from search results.

The seller also includes a series of references to other 323 GTXs for sale around the country, with their prices, plus some alleged Kelley Blue Book prices pasted randomly into the text. From those numbers, we can assume that the seller might want to get something between $2,500 and $5,875 for his or her car.

Even though the listing is pumped full of endless copy/pasted text from various quasi-relevant sources, the meat of the description fits on a single line: "Engine runs great. This is your chance to get one rare gem of a car. Only 145 k miles on it, original paint and body panels so never been in any major accident, car is completely stock."

Note that the engine runs great, but there's no mention of the car itself being able to move under its own power. We're sure that's just an oversight, and you'll find this car's super-fragile transmission and nightmarishly-difficult-to-repair brakes are just fine.

The Project Car Hell Toyota Celica All-Trac Turbo.

The Celica All-Trac Turbo, like the 323 GTX, is nearly extinct nowadays, thanks to the yee-hawing hoons who have destroyed most examples in various flavors of upside-down and/or on-fire wrecks. The few remaining examples have been filtering into junkyards as their finicky drivetrain components crap out one by one. That's a shame, because the 1989-1993 Celica All-Trac Turbo came from the factory with 200 screaming force-fed horsepower, which was completely berserk for the era.

You'd have great fun with a perfectly restored All-Trac Celica, if you could only find one. Heads up, because we've discovered this 1990 Toyota Celica All-Trac Turbo in Oregon (go here if the listing disappears), with a refreshingly exact asking price of $1,100.

Now, for that low price you've got to expect a basket case of staggering proportions a few rough spots here and there, but there's plenty of no need to fear! The engine might not be 100% ready for action, what with the seller's ominous statement, "motor had a knock and previous owner started to disconnect it." That could mean anything from several connecting rods floating in a milkshake in the oil pan with big holes cut in the block with a Sawzall during the "disconnect" process to… well, no need to go there. It'll be fine! The body is pretty well beat up, lots of parts are missing, and the factory wheels have been replaced by some fast-n-furious units. But look— as far as you can tell, all the glass is good! How hard could it be?