Certainly not Sienna Sinclaire, author of "Naughty Girl's Guide to Los Angeles." A model and sex coach, Sinclaire has produced nearly 400 pages of adult diversions for locals or visitors to L.A.

And those diversions come in all shapes and sizes. The book's subject matter ranges from extreme (just use your imagination) to almost grandma tame (high-end lingerie shops and places to get a spray tan). Pick your degree of naughtiness.

There are shopping destinations (everything from vintage shoes to chocolate treats that Fannie May only dreamed of) all the way to instructions on how to visit movie sets -- not the "Lincoln" type -- with Sinclaire as your guide.

For the edgy but less extreme, she recommends innocuous meet-and-greets such as Glamourcon, where photographers and Playboy models engage in fully clothed conversation.

Then there's Buccaneer Days on Catalina Island.

"Everybody gets dressed up in naughty pirate costumes," she said. "It's a way to meet more people. Maybe they'll suggest other events. You never know."

Well, maybe not for certain, but we kind of have an idea. And if you wear a mask there's no need to worry about ending up on the Internet and having to face the torches-and-pitchforks wrath of your less-adventurous neighbors back home.