Thursday, March 22, 2012

Recovery ... From Setbacks in Life

We all encounter setbacks in life. Something happens that steals all or most
of our forward momentum and discourages us to the point that we want
to give up.

Setbacks seem to always come at the worst possible time, too.

They are often deemed to be “the straw that broke the camel's back.”

They can send us into free fall.

Physical Recovery

In the early1970's I developed medical symptoms that I reported to my General Practitioner. He arranged an appointment with a gynaecologist in November

of that year. The specialist advised that I had a sizable tumour on the uterus wall (non-malignant). I had two young children and realized the implication of a hysterectomy. In his office, I burst into tears...mostly because of the physical cutting surgery into my body. He gave me the choice of “before Christmas or after”. I chose “as soon as possible”.

My mother came to stay a few days to tend to my children and home while my husband was at work. Following surgery, I was left in a weakened condition, which worsened due to infection below the “bikini incision” which forced me

to remain longer in hospital and consequently...more weakened.

I had never experienced being physically weak ... had a finely tuned body resulting from sports activities. This, to me, was a blow! A few days before Christmas, I was able to venture to the local grocery store (or so I thought)

In the second aisle, I became quite dizzy looking at the shelves and all the merchandise, the "on sale" products, the sundry items. Impossible to continue,

leaving the grocery cart in the aisle and frustrated, I returned home,

requesting my husband return to complete the shopping.

In a follow up-appointment with my gynaecologist, he stated,”It took you several months to develop this complication...it will take you several months to fully recover.” 3 months? 6 months? Unknown?

Mother, who was widowed eight years previously, returned to our home early,

to assist me with Christmas. I did manage to prepare part of the dinner.

By April, my strength was gradually rebuilding. I knew I must do something physically to “push the process.” A town home neighbour returning from work one day, stopped to enquire about my health as he walked past my patio garden. Being a “health nut” and a weekend ski instructor, he suggested I engage in some form of energy-building activity. I mentioned to him that I doubted if I could even manage a tennis racket. He encouraged and offered to “bat a few balls with me”...said he needed to “bat out his frustrations”

from a failed marriage and pending divorce. At first, I lasted a couple minutes

on the tennis court in our complex. After a couple weeks, I endured about five minutes. Thanks to Fred and his tennis times with me, I built up energy sufficient to join the Central Tennis Club for a few games that summer..

A couple years later, Fred loaned his lady friend, Shirley and me his burgandy

Thunderbird (he was unable to drive for several days) for our January transportation to Gray Rocks in Quebec for a ski vacation. We took my son,

who was most delighted! (Fred had, the previous month, broken his ankle

while showing his young son how to use a ski disc...or whatever it's called.

This demonstration was on a very shallow slope, and in stepping off,

he tripped, fell and twisted his ankle.)

Recovering from Disappointments

These happen! Life has its triumphs and Life has its stumbling blocks!

How do we handle frustrations and disappointments? I need not detail any,

but leave you with lessons I have learned from advice given me ... and a philosophy I developed. In one circumstance that affected my personal life

to the point of being most distraught, a ski acquaintance sincerely stated,

“You're strong! You have inner strength...you believe you don't have!

Test it!”

In the Real Estate business, success is wonderful!

Yet, it has its disappointments. Imagine spending days of research for suitable properties for clients, then hours of communication with them through e-mails and telephone to develop locations of interest. Appointments are made to view

a few properties, often followed by revisits to reinforce their buying interest. Then, after a few months, they are not returning my telephone calls ...

no contact! Discovery? They purchased a home in an area, unspecified to me

and lacked the courtesy to inform me. So many hours, so many days, weeks, months...where valuable time spent is usually “money in the bank”!

One cannot fret about a “lost deal”

when everything possible was done...

given the time and circumstances.

It is now “water under the bridge”!

Financial Recovery

Following the birth of our second child, I left a successful teaching career

to become a stay-at-home-mom...without realizing that Mothers wear several hats: Mother? Yes! But also Nurse, Psychologist, Teacher, Economist and sometimes Repair woman. When my daughter was soon to enter Kindergarten,

I reapplied as a Teacher. (Unfortunately, no full time positions were available). Time for a Change!

I launched into a new career...Real Estate Sales...which gave me several good years financially. Selling New Home product became my specialty:

priced family abodes to exclusive. Many, many hours, often seven days a week including Sunday afternoon Open Houses to the public became the norm. New Home sales generated Resales which motivated my selling skills. These resale homes were handled by my assistant on a split-commission basis. There is no guaranteed salary in this business! All income is based on successful closures
of sold properties! Costs of advertisements, promotion, vehicle and related operating costs, Real Estate fees yearly plus Errors and Omissions Insurance
...were borne by the Sales Rep with no remuneration! Plus the daily living costs!

Yet, Real Estate was always a wise investment! Therefore, in Real Estate I invested! At the onset of this career, I was a single parent raising two children. With a strategic business plan, all seemed quite secure! In the late 80's,

My Favourite Nephew...such an ardent followerof my writings! This communication we have truly diminishes the mileage distance between us!Early April you leave for Chile with Vicente?Give my Love to your "Elizabeth-Taylor-lookingMother ... from me.