(from the Devereux/Nearer saga) “Playboy [Major-]General Promises Conquests at Court!” “Devereux and Gamut? NEARER EXCLUSIVE! Not this Year says Commitment-Shy Earl.” “Duty before Desire! Says Devereux” or “My Country before Any Woman! - Devereux”

Helen: (imitating a wingéd kitten) “Mew! mew! Your life is in danger from a mysterious Irishman!” Ivan: “And there's children lost down the well!”

(on marriage) ”…yeah, well, she's a nun and she's a crown princess - one of those will cover it…”

“I am at least an equal-opportunities homophobe!”

On the conversation between Haroun and Tsung:

It's like a horror film. The young innocent woman has stopped on a lonely
stretch of road to give a hitchhiker a lift, but we know he's really the
AXE-MURDERER!

It's even got heavy-handed foreshadowing…

We should be careful who we tell of these plans… the walls
have ears and you are right, we must be wary of treachery.

No Tsung! Don't let him in the car, he's the _killer_. *munches popcorn*

(Wistfully) “Ahh… Russians and their lead fetish.”

(On “Judas”): “But for it even to be a threat the GM team would have to be a sleep-deprived bunch of near nervous-wrecks powered by hate and bile, drunk with the infliction of angst and filled with an insatiable hunger for sweet-sweet schadenfreude, their CAMPO too weakened by the ravages of disease to prevent the monstrous crime.

And how likely is that?”

”… and in surprise news the Prime Minister Gordon Brown has declared Cornwall an independent Islamic republic which will be implementing Sharia law for its Muslim citizens. The Prime Minster's statement also added that all Royal Navy ships and personnel will be transferring with immediate effect to the new republic which has agreed to defend the rest of the formerly United Kingdom.”

“I've done it in Tokyo with the Welsh Finance Minister… he died later, in a massage parlour.”

(Finishing Eternity turnsheeting, copied straight from Google Doc) “Unexpectedly, in 1662, frustrated by years upon years of unquestioning loyalty, the entire Privy Council mount a coup against King Matthew. With the power bases at their fingertips, there is nothing to stop them assassinating him; each holds one knife as Matthew is struck, bleeding, to the ground. The Privy Council promptly declare Albion a sovereign state of the Pope and an outpost of the Vatican, which lasts until the secret cache of Franzberg demons under Oxford blasts the Capital entirely to the Moon. Lovecraft, having been lying in wait on the moon for just such an eventuality, besieges Oxford and finally succeeds in having himself crowned king of Albion-Over-Sky. And it was the best day ever.”

Quinn Smith: (letter to Choronzon) ”…I have attempted to check the collage books (which, I'll have you know, fill three shelves, and are written in a combination of latin, greek and french!), and have deduced that you may indeed have been on the books for the last fourty years! Or, well, something happened 40 years ago, I don't read greek.”

Philip Silva: “Quetzalcoatl pissed in my cheerios.”

Joff: “Maybe the Aztecs can teach me to train chameleons!”

Nicholas Lovecraft: “I shall learn Summon the Archduke. Soon no sorcerer will be able to stand against me, and all of Hell will be at my disposal! Ahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! I hope no one heard that.”

Joe: “Filthy goddamn Catholics, interfereing with the righteous pursuit of hot lesbian action. By God, as Englishmen we won't stand for it!”

Jessie: “Because when you can get into Hell, right, you can cast Theurgy in Hell, right, and that's just funny!”

Frances: “If you did Walke in to Preache at them about their Handlinge of Roge Witches methinks you Woulde not Walke out again in Quit the Same Way due to Havinge a Diffrent Number of Legges.”

Quinn Smith: “Now, I'm no fan of the invisibles, but rampant sorcery. And in the middle of the boat race too, that's just… cheating!”

James: (on religion) ”…Therefore, the only conclusion to come to is that God actually does hate [me], the petty little bearded gimp.”

Frances: (at the sad news of the Lord Stafford) “Go to Stafford's Memorial Service. Sit in solemn and sorrowful contemplation of all the money that he never had a chance to give me.”

O'Farrell): “Alright… Ow.. Enough… The things I do for my country. Now fetch the chicken and we'll end this.”

Mandrake - “I'm sending Altair the Jewish assassin to go and take care of [the Jesuit] von Bell. This is mighty dangerous for the poor sod as it involves sending him into a city [Beijing] full of elite enemy soldiers to take on an opponent who can probably use astrology to see the attack coming. Oh well, even if he dies, I'm going to chalk it up as a win.”

Frances, on Devereux: “The way I saw it, my scruffy, snarky, rat-toting witchy little commoner could develop an unrequited desire for the tall, brave, pure, shiny, noble and utterly inaccessible Devereux, and proceed to stalk him using her witchy powers and the information-gathering tools in her arsenal. But she kept on not having enough time to stalk him, and now it's IMPOSSIBLE. How the hell do you stalk someone who is marching towards you with a big smile, a bunch of roses and a fistful of handwritten poetry?”

On IRC:

<Eldritchreality> I wonder if anal sex is considered corruption in jewish circles.
<Eldritchreality> I have a feeling it might be.
<oxfordgirl> Probably
<Eldritchreality> in which case I could potentially bring around an apocalypse by anally raping one of the nystarim.
<oxfordgirl> Oh dear...

Eliza Gamut: “It doe Seme that you Canne not Looke any wich way without Devillry Crawlinge out of the Walles and Tryinge to Bit off your Nose.” Helen's comment: Well I'm glad someone has understood my metaphysic…

Eliza Gamut: “I Heare no Goode Thinges of Africk for tis Naught but Heat and Flyes the Size of Dogges and Menne with Faces in their Elbowes who do Ete Christens.” Helen's comment: Actually I hadn't written up the Egypt setting material yet, but now, all of these things will be included.

Elizabeth Weaver hitting the nails right on the head without (AFAIK) having heard the exact plans OC. Or maybe it's that obvious.: “I instruct my first spies to discover the purpose of Alle the King's Men and the eventuality they are planning for. I suspect that it might be the death of the king and/or Richard, and ecuring Wyndham a place as Regent.

I instruct my second spies to bring me evidence of Lady Hamilton's guilt regarding the murder of the Admiral of the White.”

Anastasia Hamilton (re: Devereux): “I'm pretty sure whatever he thinks I'm doing, I am doing- unless its like stabbing myself in the eye or something, in which case I'm not doing that.”

Reginald Grover re: Morag's trial: “Unfortunately, I suspect that a sufficiently powerful conjurer operating on behalf of Witch Jones could falsify the evidence, causing it to point to you (OOC: Especially if, you know, you actually did it and stuff).”

Eliza Gamut (re: Tsung and the Evil One): “Eliza's still a bit fuzzy on what the demon does to the world, but she gathers that it sucks the tea out of things. Tsung Chang Mai is apparently pale because she has had a great deal of tea sucked out of her, but apparently it'll grow back. Eliza has always likes tea, and Tsung Chang Mai seemed to be saying that it was actually the life essence of the universe. Which would explain quite a lot.”

Ellie OOC, talking about Tsung comforting Leah, paraphrased from memory: “We angsted. Tsung comforted Leah. Anyway, after you've blown up one city later ones don't worry you so much.”

Devereux: And nice to see by thearmy brief that 2 turns of “I will not be short of gunpowder” has paid off… it's almost as though now would be a good time for me to launch a coup.

Tom to Ellie: “I'm going to be menstruating for six months!”

Racheet, explaining Haroun's psychology on IRC:

<Eldritchreality> after a while the complexities start folding into each other and then before you know it you're in non-euclidian geometry, the hounds of tindalos are coming through the walls and everybody is calling you insane.
<Eldritchreality> meanwhile you just know that if you stop thinking, then they'll come for you.
<Eldritchreality> with big swords and shiny armour and the holy grail
<Eldritchreality> THE FUCKING HOLY GRAIL!
<Eldritchreality> What's a sorceror to do?

Zack, on Unity: *plot plot plot* “reveal I'm her sister, and give her anything she needs to know to convince her of this. But this is a VERY last resort! ”

Weaver: “I use my new spying skills to spy on Wyndham and the Wyndhamettes.”

Weaver, on the HRE: ”…Just because some watery tart gets thawed out and declares herself empress…”

Wyndham, every turn until the death of Nicholas de Grey:

“CONDITIONAL: Kill Nicholas de Grey (8AP)

If it looks the LEAST BIT like Nicholas de Grey is going to elope with any of the following:
The Queen
The King
The Princes (any of them)
Devereux
Silva
The Archbishop of Canturbury
Thou-Shalt-Not-Suffer-A-Witch-To-Live Jones

I will Kill Nicholas de Grey. KILL HIM DEAD.

And the person trying to Elope with him. Yes this does include Ivan's regicide.