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All Rise...

Appellate Judge Mac McEntire is the mauve archduke.

The Charge

Men go to battle. Women wage war.

Opening Statement

It's no secret that HBO's sensational Game of Thrones is inspired by the
War of the Roses. Not to be outdone, Starz decided its big miniseries event of
2013 would be based on the actual War of the Roses. Who needs dragons and white
walkers when you've got royal hanky panky?

Facts of the Case

It's 1464, and everybody's at war with everybody. Elizabeth Grey (Rebecca
Ferguson, Vi) has entered into a romance and marriage with King Edward
(Max Irons, The Host), even though he was
arraigned to marry someone else. Elizabeth is crowned Queen of England, and
finds herself in the middle of all manner of deadly politics, as everyone she
encounters has sights on the throne.

The Evidence

Based on the novel series by the great Philippa Gregory, The White
Queen is heavily immersed in the "court intrigue" subgenre.
There's a lot of talk about how everyone wants the throne, and about who is and
isn't "at court." This is all well and good, and provides for plenty
of dramatic fodder, but the bad news is that this is all the show offers. Pretty
much every single scene is about characters fretting about the throne, who
controls the throne, who wants the throne, plots to take the throne, and so on.
It's rather dry, and every scene starts to sound the same after a while.

Let us take a moment and consider the idea of the subplot. For pretty much
as long as there's been television writing, scripts have been broken up into the
"A story," which is the main plot, and the "B story," the
subplot, which gives the main plot a break and lets some of the supporting
characters shine. Many people eschew this format as being stodgy or
old-fashioned, but it serves a purpose by breaking up the action on screen so
the main plot never gets monotonous. With the complex main plot taking up 100
percent of the time in The White Queen, most viewers' eyes will glaze
over after a while.

Although marketed as a tale of three women, with the other two being
Elizabeth's crown and gown-wearing frenemies Margaret Beaufort (Amanda Hale, Ripper Street) and Anne Neville (Faye
Marsay, Fresh Meat), really the entire series rests on the shoulders of
Rebecca Ferguson as Elizabeth. Ferguson is called upon to do a lot throughout
the course of the miniseries, beginning as a lovesick young girl, and then
transitioning to wife, mother, schemer, and queen. For most of the series,
Ferguson portrays Elizabeth with a "strong queen on the surface and a
frightened mother beneath" style, which works for the character and the
series as a whole. It's just that when she's told that the armies of Whoever are
on the move, and are attacking the armies of Whatsitz, we the audience have no
context as to the importance of this, so the actresses' efforts in selling the
crisis are in vain.

"But Mr. Highbrow Critic Person," you say. "This is a Starz
show. What about all the saucy adults-only content?" It's true, pretty much
every episode has it's one super-sexy scene, complete with generous nudity. The
problem is, that's just what it feels like, as if the creators are saying,
"We need a nude scene in this episode, so let's come up with an excuse for
one." Once the bare flesh has been sufficiently flaunted, it's back to more
handwringing over who will or won't control the throne.

The miniseries is a tiring ten episodes on three discs, with solid 1.78:1 HD
visuals in 1080i instead of the coveted 1080p, but still clean and clear with a
lot of detail and rich colors. The TrueHD 5.1 Surround track offers defect-free
dialogue and music. For bonus features, there are a series of promotional
featurettes taking you behind the scenes, and UltraViolet digital copies of each
episode.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

The White Queen succeeds with some delicious production detail, most
notably in the elaborate costumes. Everyone's dressed in their absolute finery,
which is fitting for a show about royalty and royalty wannabes. Some lavish sets
and occasional location shooting also adds to the "epic history" feel
the show is aiming for.

Closing Statement

It's a historical drama seriously lacking in dramatics. Expect a lot of
talking but not a lot of doing. I imagine even the most ardent history buffs
will have a tough time with this one.