Pale-ntine (Pale Valentine)

By Helena Natanael - Saturday, February 14, 2015

Friday morning, 6 AM. I woke up and I didn't even remember my dream, usually I did. I just felt really motivated to start a new day. People said that you knew you were in love when the reality was better than your dreams, and I agreed. I felt the adrenaline ran in my blood, kept my heart beating fast and my mind went wild, wondering how amazing it would be when I finally sat in front of him and listened to his stories after a long and tiring day.

I was sitting in the table that I had reserved for me and him, waiting for him, when he texted me that he couldn't come. I didn't know that I was shocked so much until a waiter approached me and asking if I need some medicine. He said that my face looked really pale. I answered I was okay, gave him a wry smile, and left the restaurant. I told myself that this was not the end of the world and I had to accept it, he might have more important thing to do. From motivation to depression, that deescalated quickly. This wasn't the first time he let me down and sometimes I felt like I had to give up on us.

Tears started running in my cheeks when suddenly I saw a man I thought I knew. My eyes popped out and I couldn't believe it, felt like an illusion. He made it! He wasn't wearing his best smile, and his face looked super tired, but he came. Such a plot twist. I didn't know how to react. And once again I didn't know how to think. My heart said "Nah I told ya, I was right!". But my brain said, "please don't be fooled over and over again". I didn't know if I was trapped in a circle of foolishness, or it was just simply a sign from fate that we belong together. He was a question mark in every love sentences that I wrote. He was a discordant notes between the songs I made. I didn't even know if he was completing me or he was taking me to different direction. If only I could answer..

Happy Valentine's Day!
Yah, I'm not a fan of this celebration, because for me, Valentine's day is losing its true meaning: "expressing your love to your beloved ones". Nowadays it's prefer to "big sale shopping and actually the discounted items are overpriced", "buying expensive chocolates", and "it's normal to gain weight because of sweets". Hahaha yes those are my thoughts! However I admit that the Valentine decorations and the pinky stuffs are super lovely! high level of cuteness!

Gaudi top - Nevada Jeans - Zara bag - Laviola flats

I choose "Pale-ntine" for my outfit because it's valentine and I was wearing some kind of "pale colors", that girls will know as pastels. I was struggling for the post's title then that word suddenly came across my mind, hahaha. Recently I had some situations with a guy, that affected my feelings, brought my mood in a roller coaster... then I saw this quote and I couldn't agree more. The metaphor in the quote was just right. Hearts are wild creatures. It was more powerful than our brains... so you gotta keep an eye on it.

Yesterday, my high school friends and I arranged a meet-up, and somehow we called it a "Valentine's lunch for the singles", because we are all singles, lol. Then, thanks to Ellyzabeth the photographer, I could take some outfit post for my blog. Her lens was amazing, I loooovvveeeee the dof in my photos. Ellyzabeth and I were bloggers and we had some blog collaborations since we were in high school, be sure to give her blog some visits :)

P.S.:
I will not be able to update this blog regularly, though I'm dying to keep this blog updated! So for catching up with me, kindly follow my instagram @helenatanael :) Enjoy your weekend!