The phrasing here is pitch perfect. ‘Sister shells’ & 'three years older than you' were imaginative, and the use of the word 'blue' was haunting. I also think this probably had the most powerful opening of any of your poems. Heartbreaking.

Unbelievable. It's astoundig how you capture every emotion so accurately. Fear, insecurity, quiet understanding, it's all here. And the best part is its not overbearing. You're not swamped with too many words or too much imagery. The intricacy of this poem fits perfectly with the words you chose.

"and men no longer snake-like". your work always blows me away just with how heartbreakingly honest you are about situations. how the words and phrases you use are always the strongest. and that it never, ever once begins to fade.

How very true this is. How very true indeed. I love what you've done with this poem. It's like...a wish for what was to be now, and that life could return somewhat to bliss. Not entirely, because thenit would be like we never grew. But nonetheless...what was to be now. I'd like that.

Nice. All your poems are so classic in a way, they have this very liberated woman feel to them. (I hope that didn't sound condescending, because I didn't mean it to sound that way.) You use interesting words to describe things, like "woman-limbs" and I feel like I'm listening to this woman who's seen it all and is very at peace with herself. Nice. Keep writing! :)

This should be sung, so slowly. I'm guessing this is *the* Jessica, who's almost become a posthumous writer in her own right. She's appeared in so many, made so many lines...just an observation.

(it's been awhile! I've been bad, lazy, distracted, lazy some more...guilt about it all, and ohsovery annoyed at not being able to find a pen name I like [I want to change MM].)

but anyway

The title is sexy (and I desperately wanted to review Thirsty first, but thought I'd do them in order..I've had that word stuck in my mind every so often over the summer) and it sets up my whole idea about singing it. If I could sing, I'd attempt it myself..but if that's not illegal here yet it should be. "I am three years older.." was she three years younger than you at the time of the incident? I can't quite work out what you mean, but it's haunting anyway.

-sister shells- I love that, so inclusive and at the same time exclusive. I can't really wriggle in there 'cus I'm a bloke, but I got a few fingers in the cracks (not in any way sounding vulgar :P)

Would it be the same if men weren't snakelike? Women are foxy, catty, and deadly in their own way...and snakes got cursed by God remember. *thinks hard* sometimes I wish I had a space between my legs.

With that pleasant and slightly awkward comment I'll skidaddle to Thirsty.

"blue-brunette broken", is a very vivid phrase and carries well from the beginning to the end. The short lines really create a pace for the wordshifts and the quick hit imagery. Very well written. MD:77.