a cappella "born this way," she captioning sponsored by comedy central captionedbymediaaccessgroupatwgbh access.wgbh.org captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( applause ) [cheers and applause] >> stephen: very nice. [cheers and applause] [crowd chanting stephen] [cheers and applause] thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen. thank you for is joining us. that is the pure uncut stuff you just gave me. i wish i could cook you people up in a spoon. folks, we are only 16 months away from the 2012 presidential election. i'm as excited as a kid on the 483rd night before christmas. [laughter] and what's got me jazzed is that the republican field is brimming with superstars. i don't know how i'll decide between the ten of them. it's like an all-you-can-eat you got white bread, white rice, cream of wheat, potatoes, mash potatoes, boiled potatoes, potato flakes, mayonnaise, packing peanuts, and for dessert: herman cain. [cheers and applause] that was tasty. jimmy, give me some more of that sweet candy cain. ♪ he's a true son of the south born and raised the americ

and it made a -- >> captioning sponsored by comedy central captionedbymediaaccessgroupatwgbh access.wgbh.org captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( applause ) stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! >> stephen: wow, welcome to the report. thank you so much! i got to tell you-- (cheers and applause) i tell you, folks, i-- i love that so much. i could hear it twice a night. nation, the debt ceiling debate drags on and on and frankly both parties have been acting like children. with the republicans saying gimme, gimme, gimme and the democrats saying take it, take it, take it, just don't hit me it is causing problems for both parties. yesterday john mccain attack the tea party for their naivete. >> the idea seems to be that if a house gop refuses to raise the debt ceiling a default crisis or gradual government shutdown will ensue and the public will turn en masse against barack obama and the tea party hobbits could return to middle earth having defeated mordor. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: then-- then mark meckler of

central captionedbymediaaccessgroupatwgbh access.wgbh.org captioning spony comedy central [theme song playing] [cheering and applause] >> stephen: thank you, ladies and gentlemen. whoo, whoo! welcome to "the report." thank you so much. [audience chanting "stephen"] [cheering and applause] >> stephen: thank you so much. welcome. good to have you with us. folks, sorry about the glasses. sorry about these. i'm just... oh, my god, my eyes are still adjusting. i have not seen daylight since friday because this weekend marked the beginning of legal gay marriage in new york. [laughter] and to escape the force-five gay-nado engulfing the city, i retreated to my underground hetero-bunker. now, i originally bought it for y2k, but i have recently adapted it to "y-too-gay." now, it is stocked with things that straight men love -- a ten-year supply of manwich, all eight seasons of "magnum p.i.," and a dodge pickup -- ram tough! well, it turns out if you're enclosed in a poorly ventilated space, you should not leave your truck idling or eat nothing but manwich for three days. i don't know whic

by comedy central captionedbymediaaccessgroupatwgbh access.wgbh.org it mean to be poor in america? wait about a week and we might all find out. (laughter) then showdown over the debt ceiling. will democrats cave or simply crumble? (laughter) and my guest, brooke gladstone is a radio host with a new graphic novel. maybe someday she'll put sound with pictures. (laughter) nasa has found volcanos on the dark side of the moon-- and they erupt in sync the wizard of oz. (laughter) this is "the colbert report." captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( applause ) >> stephen: welcome to the "report," everybody. thank you so much. is (crowd chanting "stephen") >> stephen: thank you so much. thank you for joining us. thank you, folks. you know, that is really lovely to hear. you know, i am not one to call attention to myself. (laughter) but every time i go to google news and type in "stephen colbert" it seems like every story is about me. (laughter) no, this time it's about my relationship with former godfather's pizza c.e.o. republican presidential candidate herman can

by wpbt captionedbymediaaccessgroupatwgbh access.wgbh.org >> be more. pbs. vo:geico, committed to providing service to its auto insurance customers for over 70 years. more information on auto insurance at geico.com or 1-800-947-auto any time of the day or night.

by comedy central captionedbymediaaccessgroupatwgbh access.wgbh.org [stately organ music] ♪ [tires screech] (sister mary francis) step away from the curb, children. [tires screech] [tires screech] hi, sister. you look terrific today. what have you done with your hair? you're late again, rick. i know, i know, but i have a very good excuse. there can be no excuse for tardiness. you're right. you're-- you're absolutely right. i'm--i'm sorry. i should never have stopped and saved that drowning infant. i'm--i'm weak, sister. i'm just so weak. all right, now, stop that. children, on the bus.

sponsored by cbs captionedbymediaaccessgroupatwgbh access.wgbh.org shooting death of a pregnant woman in another state. what we know about both cases. and why people here are pointing fingers at police. a potential break in the case of a 21 year old mother whose body was found burned in bay area neighborhood. the support today, for the family she left behind. and with hundreds of dollars in her pocket, casey anthony walked out of jail a free woman. the scene that was waiting for her. cbs 5 eyewitness news is next. good evening. ann,,

to your pbs station from viewers like you. captioning sponsored by wpbt captionedbymediaaccessgroupatwgbh access.wgbh.org >> more information about investing is available in "nightly business report's" video. to order this dvd, call 1-800- play-pbs or visit online at shoppbs.org.

. thank you, we'll see you tomorrow. captioning sponsored by cbs captionedbymediaaccessgroupatwgbh access.wgbh.org >>> this is 9news now. >> you think today was hot? by the end of the week, what we had today will feel like a cool breath of spring. topper is off tonight. let's get over to anny with a look at the heat wave coming our way. >> it will feel cool compared to what is headed this way. let's take a look at temperatures out to the far west. des moines 97 degrees. now this stuff, this hot air mass will be coming over to our area. right now temperatures are lower 90s in downtown. it is still humid out there. out in the upper midwest and the great lakes, we have heat warnings and advisories in effect because it is crazy

. captioning sponsored by cbs captionedbymediaaccessgroupatwgbh access.wgbh.org can i eat heart healthy without giving up taste? a man can only try... and try...and try. i heard eating whole grain oats can help lower my cholesterol. it's gonna be tough...so tough. my wife and i want to lower our cholesterol, but finding healthy food that tastes good is torturous. your father is suffering. [ male announcer ] honey nut cheerios tastes great and can help lower cholesterol.

captning sponsored by rose communications captionedbymediaaccessgroupatwgbh acce.wgbh.org tavis: good evening from los angeles. up tonight on this fourth of july, a look at the most american of all businesses, the auto industry. bob lutz is a legendary figure. serving as vice chairman of general motors. his latest text is "car guys vs. bean counters". also, cedric the entertainer is here. he stars alonside tom hanks in "larry crowne". he launched a new show for nbc called "it's worth what?". coming up right now. \[please stand by/] >> all i know is his name is james, and he needs extra help with his reading. >> i am james. >> yes. >> to everyone making a difference -- >> thank you. >> you help us all live better. >> nationwide insurance supports tavis smiley. with every question and every answer, nationwide insurance is proud to join tavis in working to improve financial literacy and remove obstacles to economic empowerment, one conversation at a time. nationwide is on your side. >> and by contributions to your pbs station from viewers like you. thank you. [captio

bymediaaccessgroupatwgbh >>> this is "entertainment tonight," the most watched entertainment news magazine in j. lo and marc, the top five clues to the split. did he cheat? new shots of the couple apart this weekend. what went wrong? >> waiting on the sidelines over here. >> really, the family is just him and the kids. >> from marc and dayanara to bennifer. their high-profile love life. >>> vanessa and nick's wedding. the cake, inside the church. >>> casey anthony, where is she right now? >> the death threats are significant. >> the very latest on america's most notorious mother.

captioning sponsored by comedy central captionedbymediaaccessgroupatwgbh access.wgbh.org captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( applause ) [cheers and applause] >> stephen: very nice. [cheers and applause] [crowd chanting stephen] [cheers and applause] thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen. thank you for is joining us. that is the pure uncut stuff you just gave me. i wish i could cook you people up in a spoon. folks, we are only 16 months away from the 2012 presidential election. i'm as excited as a kid on the 483rd night before christmas. [laughter] and what's got me jazzed is that the republican field is brimming with superstars. i don't know how i'll decide between the ten of them. it's like an all-you-can-eat you got white bread, white rice, cream of wheat, potatoes, mash potatoes, boiled potatoes, potato flakes, mayonnaise, packing peanuts, and for dessert: herman cain. [cheers and applause] that was tasty. jimmy, give me some more of that sweet candy cain. ♪ he's a true son of the south born and raised the american way ♪ his dad was a farmer wit

>> come on. captioning sponsoredy comedy central captionedbymediaaccessgroupatwgbh access.wgbh.org >> stephen: tonight, florida governor rick scott looks far way to increase his popularity. try telling everyone in boca you're their grandson. (laughter) then, ted nugent writes an op-ed. what's black and white and covered with the blood of small game? (laughter) plus, my guest is the president of americans for tax reform, grover norquist. i'm going to claim his as a dependent. (laughter) the supreme court ruled it's legal to sell silent video games to kids. get ready for grand theft tetris. (laughter) this is "the colbert report." captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( applause ) (cheers and applause) >> stephen: thank you very much. (crowd chanting "stephen") (cheers and applause) >> stephen: thank you! thank you so much. i had no idea that you guys could read cue cards. (laughter) welcome to the "report," good to have you with us, and thank you all for watching our last show before the earth swallows new york and drags it to hell. (laughter) becaus

sponsored by comedy central captionedbymediaaccessgroupatwgbh access.wgbh.org >> stephen: tonight surprising revelations about the beatles. they may have run out of new formats in which you must rebuy all their music. and now the natural gas industry tries to counter bad press. i suggest blaming the gas on the dog dog. slav (laughter) >> then i sit down with the founding publisher of skeptic magazine, or so he claims (laughter) >> a new study found that men like to cuddle and another new study shows that men will say anything to dpet a researcher into bed. this is "the colbert report." (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( applause ) (cheers and applause) >> stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! >> stephen: wow! >> stephen, stephen, stephen! (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome to the report, everybody! good to have you with us. i got to tell you, that chant -- that chant was so good, that if i did not know better i would have thought you just practiced that. (laughter) nation, i hope you had a great fourth of ju

moment of zen. captioning sponsored by comedy central captionedbymediaaccessgroupatwgbh test. >> stephen: tonight, is there too much money in politics? nope. then everyone's talking about the news corp. phone hacking scandal. i foe because i checked their voice-mails. and my guest john prendergast is here to talk about the two-week old nation of south sudan. i will ask how long till it loses that new country smell. congratulations to the japanese's women soccer team for rescuing america from the brink of caring about soccer. this is "the colbert report." captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) (cheers and applause) (cheers and applause) >> stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! (cheers and applause) >> stephen: thank you very much! welcome to the report. thank you so much. good to you have with us. nation, you know i love a summer blockbuster weekend. i took the kids, brought our own snacks, quick tip, don't let the theatres gouge you on popcorn. do what i do. fill your pockets with unpopped colonels and a dozen

comedy central captionedbymediaaccessgroupatwgbh access.wgbh.org >> stephen: tonight, i await the fec's decision on my pac. change is coming -- and hopefully a lot of large bills too. [laughter] then, a survey names america's least active city. it's a big announcement, so put on your formal sweatpants. [laughter] and my guest, gary sinise is here to talk about entertaining the troops. luckily, this is their favorite show. [laughter] every time god closes a door, he opens a window. clearly, he's not the one paying for air conditioning. [laughter] this is "the colbert report." captioning sponsored by comedy central ["the colbert report" theme music playing] [cheers and applause] thank you very much. [cheers and applause] [crowd channeling stephen] --] crowd chanting stephen] welcome to the report. good to have you with us. please sit down. [cheers and applause] i know you are excited. the holidays are coming up. folks, monday is july fourth, named for our four fathers: george. benjamin, thomas, and ringo. [laughter] i always check my calendar to find out what day it falls on, an

central captionedbymediaaccessgroupatwgbh access.wgbh.org >> stephen: tonight the fcc rules about whether i can talk about my pac on the air. spoilary all right, i'm talking about my pac on the air. then, can we trust pakistan to find out i'll close my eyes and fall into their arms. (laughter) >> stephen: and my guest timothy garton ash believes reporting the facts can change the course of history. then again, so can wikipedia. a french couple has adopted a 265 pound gor la. and in tomorrow's news, a french couple is malled by newly orphanned gor la. this is "the colbert report." captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome to the report, everybody! thank you for joining us. thank you, everybody. stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! >> stephen: beautiful, thank you so much, everybody. you're too kind. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: folks, thank you, thank you here, up there, i want to say i had to any half -- thieves who are joining us tonight. hope all your attacks are plus two. nation, tonight you a

][cheerin] >> stcaptioning sponsored by comedy central captionedbymediaaccessgroupatwgbh access.wgbh.org. [stately organ music] ♪ [tires screech] (sister mary francis) step away from the curb, children. [tires screech] [tires screech] hi, sister. you look terrific today. what have you done with your hair? you're late again, rick. i know, i know, but i have a very good excuse. there can be no excuse for tardiness. you're right. you're-- you're absolutely right. i'm--i'm sorry. i should never have stopped and saved that drowning infant. i'm--i'm weak, sister. i'm just so weak. all right, now, stop that. children, on the bus. sister, if you ever get lonely after vespers, i am the man to call. my number's in the book. get going, rick. you're late enough as it is. think about it, okay? okay, come along, children. [stately orchestral music] ♪ [rick over intercom] attention, passengers, we are now leaving nun central on our journey to hell and beyond. the captain has turned off the no-smoking sign, and you may now move about the cabin freely. [kid screams] [kids shouting] thank you

central captionedbymediaaccessgroupatwgbh access.wgbh.org >> tonight will america default on its debt? and if so, will canada let us crash on their couch for a while? then, a fresh young face for the republican party. he's only 235 years old. [laughter] and my guest david mccullough has a new book about americans in paris. sounds like somebody wants to deduct his vacation. [laughter] a six-year-old beauty queen has retired. i'm not surprised -- she was starting to get crow's dimples. this is "the colbert report." captioning sponsored by comedy central ["the colbert report" theme music playing] [cheers and applause] thank you very much. woo! woo! boom boom boom boom! [cheers and applause] [crowd chanting stephen] [cheers and applause] welcome to the report. good to have you with us. that kind of chanting makes me want to say, you are the man! but -- [laughter] i don't want to get that wrong. [laughter] nation, we all know the gop's number one priority is to make sure obama is a one-term president. but i say, aim higher. make him a no-term president. let's build a time machine, go