not really sure what to do? any advice?

Wednesday, November 07, 2012

Ok I will start by telling alittle about what is going on. I have been with my bf for 4 years now and it has been a lot of ups and downs, a lot of uncertainy, and he's not very affectionante, and let's see he really only texts that he loves me he's only said it once to my face. When we started to go out he would talk about his ex a lot. He put her on a pestel a lot and of course he always denies this. Well I have done so much but I really don't know how much more I can take. He doesn't do any house work, he doesn't cook, he does only his laundry I do his sons that is from his ex. And most of the time he sits on the computer most of his day till it is time for him to sleep. He works thirds. His kids did not grow up the greatest with their mom and her husband. So we have the oldest living with us. Well he has had issues over the four years but now they have esculated. First he threatened to kill me because I yelled at him for just sitting down in the basement all summer when there was house work to be done. My bf never made him apologize or nothing. Now he is past the point where he cuts himself and has been diagnosed with bipolar. He's already been hospitalized once for a week but now he's cutting and my boyfriend wants me to watch him. The thing that bothers me is I. Have two girls of my own that I feel like I should put them first. I am so worried that one of them will see him doing it. I'm really worried about my youngest. But I love my bf but really I am emotionally exhausted from this relationship. Sometimes I feel selfish but then others have told me why do u stay. I mean I am so sick of being walked on and I am worried for my daughters because they do not need this. Anyone have suggestions?

JENMEG
12/19/2012 Just a update in case anyones wondering. Im still with my boyfriend. I know what the heck am i thinking. I just feel guilty sometimes that i am feeling this way about his kids and i think i shouldnt let that affect my relationship. But as of yesterday everything i thought was getting better. my bf son has been on medicine for awhile and i thought he was stable but i just found out (not from my boyfriend, but it would have been nice to have heard it from him seeing his son lives here with us) that he is still cutting himself. that worries me alot. and he told my mother that he doesnt do it with knives he does it with a box cutter. his doctor has said he is classified as a "cutter". Gosh you know what i really dont know how much more i can take. I feel like im stuck and i dont know what to do. I do love my bf but do i love him enough to put up with this crap? i think thats why i havent cared about losing weight because of dealing with his stuff. Any advice? I know i will hear the same stuff but i feel stuck. i dont want to kick him out right now being so close to christmas but im so afraid that when i do kick him out am i making the right deiscion? 1450 days ago

LJCANNON You have Daughters who are going to model their Behavior in relationships after YOURS. If you allow a Boyfriend -- Or his Children --to Walk On You or to Disrespect You, they will let their Boyfriends Walk On Them.

5WHITEROSES
I agree with the others, your safety & that of your children's comes first. That is your top priority. You said you love him, but it doesn't really sound like the feeling is mutual. You deserve the best and he's not it. After you leave him, you are free to find the man who will treat you with the love & respect you deserve. 1491 days ago