Jason Merritt/Getty Images(NEW YORK) — Even in the celebrity world, Jennifer Lopez has had one of the more complicated personal lives: she’s been married and divorced three times, was once engaged to Ben Affleck, and also had a drama-filled relationship with Sean “Diddy” Combs. But in the new issue of People magazine, J-Lo says experiencing all that heartache has made her a better person.

“I went through some tremendous lows,” J-Lo says. “I’ve made a ton of mistakes, but you need the messy stuff. You learn from it or laugh about it. And I’m pretty happy with where I am today.”

And where’s that? These days, Jennifer’s happily involved in a romance with dancer Casper Smart; she dotes on her six-year-old twins, Max and Emme; she’s the head of an entertainment and fashion empire; she’s one of the stars of American Idol; and she’s going to receive the Icon Award later this month at the Billboard Music Awards.

In particular, J-Lo says her split with her third husband, Marc Anthony, was so painful that it forced her to “take a look at” myself and “look at what is going on” when it comes to attitudes toward relationships.

“As women, we sometimes can give ourselves away. I was certainly guilty of that for some time,” Jennifer says. “Now, I realize I am good on my own, so now I can share my life with somebody…I have worth. I have value. I love myself now.”

Jennifer also talks to People magazine about her life as a single mom to Max and Emme. “When I’m not working, I am usually at home with the kids. Just getting up, making them breakfast and planning dinner. I love to cook so I will make them whatever they want,” she says. As for entertainment, she says the twins “love Frozen, although during Easter, we took a break since they wanted to watch Hop, like, 15 times.”