August 2005

~ANTHONY HADEN-GUEST PAPERS ARTNET

FILE UNDER: WHERE IS THE LOVE ? . . .

. . . had a really fun evening last night, courtesy of PATRICK DUFFY at that chic little bar – B.E.S – at the bottom of 22nd Ave – 559 WEST 22nd and 11th Ave. needless to say, ABSOLUT VODKA served up a mean lemon mint cocktail that just hit the spot. A book signing jaunt for ANTHONY HADEN-GUEST – celebrating the success of his latest scribble & doodle compilation – ‘IN THE MEAN TIME’ – everybody was in great spirits – but esp Anthony, who was raving to all – about his recent legal action against WALTER ROBINSON and artnet !!

if you are new to the scene and don’t know who this legendary guy is, British-American writer, reporter, cartoonist, art critic, poet and socialite – you can check him out on WIKI !!

of course, artlovers was the first to review his new book – but since it was air mailed to us directly from its FREIGHT+VOLUME Miami Basel Art Fair debut – I was just cheerfully expecting to say hello, party a little bit, ok I partied a lot !! – and get the man’s personal imprint – but whoa – there was more in store, surprise, not !!

there was Anthony happy as a lark – raving to all – about his having just papered – as in: subpoena – Walter Robinson and artnet !! and apparently just days, after Walter finally posted a review of his book, to boot. ha.

ok. here’s the background story:

allegedly Haden-Guest lost a whole storage locker of a “lifetime” – on the art scene’s worth of valuables – including art works by DAVID SALLE, ASHLEY BICKERTON and DONALD BAECHLER – not to mention at least 9 DAN ASHER pieces – all told said to be worth over “$1 million”. The slick action by well-known NYC storage franchise PUBLIC STORAGE – supposedly took place while Anthony was in London – from what I made out – he was only 3 months delinquent – and never received a FINAL NOTICE – even though he claims – he had been in touch with PUBLIC STORAGE – from London, saying he would clear things up – upon his imminent return . . .

sure enough, lo and behold, a couple of minor pieces from the Haden-Guest locker facility collection – just surfaced last week – on artnet – for sale !! Anthony is over the moon – obviously – it’s a great stroke of luck – just what he needed – to get to the bottom of this sleazy action & retrieve his stuff – but apparently Walter isn’t talking – about who sourced the works – hence the subpoena !!

it’s also my feeling that – since Walter is such a control freak – don’t tell anybody I said this – but apparently Haden-Guest had to hound, beg and badger Walter for a month – before the mighty artnet honcho obliged with a review of ‘In The Mean Time’ – in other words, pretty much – just what everybody else goes through with Walter – and supposedly the subpoena – legal compulsion to spill the beans in court – went in – exactly a day or so after the artnet book review finally posted !! and yep, Anthony was looking mighty happy bout that timing.
just like the cat – that swallowed the canary. or what !!

ANTHONY HADEN-GUEST reaches for my book – all the while cheerfully spilling the beans on Walter and artnet !!
“I just subpoenaed Walter Robinson” – his new mantra.
never a dull moment – in the art world – and its only halfway thru January.

he was also shilling limited edition cards – individual editions or sets of 40 – of his cartoons – $200 a pop.
they were actually pretty attractive – yeah, I wanted one – but that was a little pricey pour moi.

“YOU ARE NAKED.”

“WE ARE FREE SPIRITS.”
just in case you think Anthony is dreaming on, no.
he has long legend of being an irresistible ladies man, with the equipment to match – that’s what they say. though no, I can’t vouch for it myself – but I’ve heard tell in such graphic terms – let me put it this way: the way it’s been said leaves no room for exaggeration . . . hoo-ray for Brits.

SIMON CERIGO – artlovers man-about-town – has known Anthony forever. even sharing – some of the coarser booty. yes, even the art world a has low-life groupies. as opposed to sharing Anthony’s ‘critical’ take – on the art world, bye the way. an important point – he would want clarified.

on the right: KEVIN KAYE of FREIGHT+VOLUME which published the book.
with him artist VLAD PETKOV, in town for a few weeks, hailing from BULGARIA, yes.

MIA UDEA – who will be showing at the new MICHAEL BANKS gallery.

artist LAURA KAPLAN.
Simon told me there were quite a few “mafia” types – as in art world mafia types dropping by – but since he didn’t want to point them out, and they go below my usual radar, (and yes. it gets lower every day) – I didn’t catch them.

this was actually LAURA KAPLAN’S sculpture in the restroom – alleyway !!
it looked pretty good there, too.

cheers to Anthony. may your book and art – find on-going success. may your court case prevail. may your collection be returned – esp the Dan Ashers !! may Walter Robinson squirm in court. and above all else – may the chick parade go on – forever. oh yeah.

UP-DATE – WALTER: SAT JAN 22, 2011/11:55 AM

ok. WALTER ROBINSON is not a control freak. he just likes things his way, and for everybody to know he is at the top of the food chain. sorry.

I just said that because I’m still mad and offended that he did not come by, or even write-up in any way – like even: “former artnettie has a show up, so what?” – my little art show at OTHER MUSIC last year. I felt in the polar art wars – ARTNET vs EVERYBODY ELSE, but mostly ARTFORUM – I deserved a little shout-out just for having been being on the right side of the game, and forever. no ?

at least now, I know why. I’m so friggin clueless. when he inquired after my show and asked to see some work – idiot that I am – I didn’t know I had to then harass and hound him – to actually snag – some friggin’ face time. Walter is my secret crush, everybody knows that. without Walter, where would I be . . . what would I have to write about – if he didn’t leave the new frontier wide open for me. plus he is a damn great painter – but what the hell, so am I. and here we both are – scribbling odes to everybody else. no wonder we both get twisted out. Walter rules.
just can’t you spread the love, big guy ?

UP-DATE – ROBERTA: SAT JAN 22, 2011/12:39 PM
ok. and here’s why I got so mad at Roberta. even though everyone knows she aces it (mostly). top 1% be damned. . . but then why would I have a niche to call my own, to wail from, if she didn’t ? and more important – if I do pop a bonafide newbie – she’s my one best chance at – checkin’ them out ?
o.k. the one friggin’ time she mentions a blogger – it’s friggin low-ball artcat ? now come on, that just ain’t right – where’s the love ?