After my gal posted a Facebook item detailing my birthday shenanigans and surprises and causing yours truly to receive an embarrassing number of congratulatory replies (but thank you very much) I decided to review my accomplishments spanning the one year since my last birthday.

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Okay, that’s finished. Now let’s move on. I met a gentleman while having breakfast Monday at Black Bear Diner. I usually enjoy reading the paper, coffee and conversing with Kara, my favorite Monday morning waitress, but we couldn’t get a word in thanks to this out-of-towner in the next booth. He finally hushed and turned away when he told me he once worked in a plant that built fire hydrants and I replied, “how did you find a parking spot?”

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Speaking of coffee, some of you have expressed concern about constantly seeing me with a large cup of java (thank you Sonny and Randy at 7-Eleven) in my hand. Thanks, but not to worry. It’s decaf. I used to drink real coffee, but my fingers would soon be flying too fast on the keyboard for my brain synapse. But now it’s mostly colored water.

Back in “those days” in my pad in Haight-Ashbury I used to water my plants with coffee to see if they would grow faster — didn’t work...