I have been a bitch on wheels this week. Hormonal or otherwise, I’m not sure. I just know that my crankypants level is at WHOA status. Look out, people. Rant ahead.

I have a friend who is pregnant with her first. She has shared a few nuggets of wisdom that people have offered her. And by nuggets of wisdom, I mean sentiments that were so insensitive and hurtful I wanted to punch these people in the throat on her behalf. The most horrific has been, “I hope nothing’s wrong with your baby, but if it is? I love special needs kids.”. <face/palm> I hope my friend knows I would have happily bailed her out of jail for the assault charges.

Two other sets of friends have been subjected to blatant ridicule over the fact that they haven’t had their second child yet. In both cases, their firstborns are just shy of 3 years old.

In a new blog I started reading (and you should too!) – Grand New Mom talks about finding out at 40 that she’s having another child. She too, was subjected to idiotic stereotypes and thoughtless comments from idgits. <head/desk>

I’m 34. Single. Never married. No children. In other words, a complete weirdo by society’s standards.

Lately the… let’s call it “encouragement”… I’ve received about my single status has ranged from bizarre to insulting to tedious. Not to say that my stark-raving-singledom is anywhere near as monumental as growing a tiny human, but by all means – share in my misery.

“I just know in my heart that you’re going to be one of those types that are 40 and just getting married.”You say that like you believe it’s a good thing. But you don’t.“Don’t lift that box by yourself when you get home! It’s heavy! Do you have any guys around that can help you with that?!?”I’m SINGLE. Not CRIPPLED.“He’s out there. He’s looking for you too.”No, he’s out there, just as pissed off as I am at people like YOU saying that I’m looking for HIM. And barf.“STOP LOOKING. That’s when you’ll find him! When you least expect it!”Wait. Didn’t you just kinda tell me I was looking for him?“You need to date someone older than you.”Fine. I choose him. Or him. Or him.

“You’re just too intimidating to men.”If they’re intimidated by me then then they’re not man enough for me. Next.“You need to project being ‘open’ to new opportunities instead of pretending to be so strong all the time.”I’m not pretending. I am strong. That doesn’t mean I’m closed off.“You trust too easily. You should be more cautious with your heart so you don’t get hurt.”GAAHHH which IS IT, y’all???

At the end of the day, it’s not what people say about me, or around me, or to me that will lead me to the path that THEY so desperately wish to see. Yes, I said THEY. ME? I am perfectly happy to live my life, travel the world and be content with all my blessings right now. No one’s projections about my future matter. And certainly their judgements don’t either.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my friends and my family dearly. They love me back, and they want to see me happy. I know their words come from a good place. That’s the only thing keeping me from telling them how far they can shove their opinions where the sun don’t shine.

Feel free to share any other <face/palms> you’ve experienced. The Stupid is rampant these days.

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Ugh, they're just trying to help but can I just say I hope all those well-meaning people are wrong because YOU TOTALLY CAN'T MEET MR. RIGHT RIGHT NOW!!! Who would I live vicariously through?!I need to hear of your exploits with him. and him. and him. Especially the last one. Oh how I adore Vin Diesel. You have the perfect attitude. You're just doing you and having fun. Whatever happens is cool. You're not freaking out or pining for THE ONE. Don't they know that's a healthy attitude? Healthy is good.