2016 Season

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SO GLAD they aren't killing off Ray! That would be like losing the foil at a cookout, the food just wouldn't turn out, you know? So I'll start with Ray. I think the Krieger should do a full on Barry Dillon with him at this point. Completely borged out, and yet Archer is still able to get to him because of the undeniable background friendship they have. Push Ray-2 Gee-2 (Ray Gillete v 2.0. I came up with that all alone. Okay my cat helped) all season long and have him go "RAMMPAAAAGE!!" for the final double header episode.

Archer. We were all blown away to see the best of him bubble to the surface on the beach with Sato. I still choke up. Open the season with Archer's greatest mission yet. To find out what happened to Woodhouse. After revealing finally just how much money he has in the cold open, Archer vows to spend every last dime to find his valet.. and then, make him pay it back of course. The episode would be about two minutes in and he finds out who, and where. The rest of the episode would be filled with threats of his own towards Woodhouse, as per the norm, as the team follow Archer through a gauntlet of opposition. Let us then see the real Archer again, and a fitting farewell for Woodhouse when Archer finds the truth.
Lana.. LANA.. LA-NAAAAAA!! I LOVE this woman! I'd like her to be the one to tributize the scene from "Undercover Blues" Where would be robbers (Dave Chapelle and Stanley Tucci) just get destroyed by Jeff Bridges, all while holding his infant in one arm and a folded stroller in the other. Lana could handle way more.. assailants.:) Do you like how I avoided saying "Lana could handle way more MEN".. oh SHIT!
Mallory Archer. I would love to see her relationship with Abbijean get REALLY weird for the gang. Something snaps in Malory and she does a one eighty, becoming the most nurturing, loving and protective grandma, that she ignores everything else, including the all new agency funded by Archer. Of course Sterling is pissed at the new relationship because he thinks if only he'd been a girl... dream episode anybody?
Now let's get to the dichotomy that is Algernop Krieger. We wonder if he's the Algenop everyone knows. It would seem so, since the grey's at Nellis knew his name.. or is it that all of them are Algernop, since they were clones? Is Algernop the plural of Algernon? I would really LOVE to see an episode chronicling his first dozen or so "Clinical trials". You could fill a season with just that! (spinoff? Anyone.. anyone?)
Pamela Poovey my alabaster moon pie! Let's see her dating life more. I know she cries around the office about not getting laid, but that's just a tool.. to get laid! Let's follow her and maybe even Carol/Cheryl/ Crystal/ Cherlene/ Carol too. Who wouldn't want to see Pam in a good sized bar fight? The same people who don't want to hear Christopher Walken read Dr. Seuss, that's who!

Predictions for next season? Sterling- reveals the source of his unexplained wealth. Lana- just continues to get sexier and more bad ass now that she's a mother lioness. Ray- Gay termina.. Termiator who is gay. There we go. Malory- goes inside out and scares everyone even more. Pam and .. SYBIL, go on dating sprees together and let's see... Cyril Figgis.

Although Ray get's the share of being put upon and Cyril has a relatively good year, one simple phrase from Archer sets him off in a way that can only be described as "HOLY $%*@@#$ SHIT! HE IS BEATIN HIS #$&%^@^ ASS!" Give Cyril his day, and maybe Sterling Archer will have some new found respect for Mr. Figgis! You know, for a while anyway.. like.. a day.. maybe.

Make Dicky Woodhouse the new valet, who doesn't take any of Archer's shit! Bring in Jeffrey Tambor for some more of anything, see if you can get Jason Bateman to guest! A team up of Katya and Pam could be VERY interesting, (ahem), or Katya and Krieger? It would be cool to see Rip Riley again, and finally, quit dickin around and tell us who Archer's father is!

WARNING: The preceding rant has been deemed the product of a chemically unbalanced mind. The opinions expressed here do not reflect the opinions of Adam Reed, FX channels, their network, affiliates or sponsors. The comments are not to be taken seriously by anyone and should you find you have read the article in it's entirety, quickly rinse, fully ten minutes with saline solution for each eye used.