Sarah Chadwick on Queer Identity, Activism, and Coming Out

Sarah Chadwick is many things: a student, an activist, a genius with her Twitter fingers, and also a lesbian. She doesn't much care what people think about that last part, but Sarah said she does hope her being out and open about her sexuality can help other young people looking for a peer who understands what they're going through. During an interview at the Teen Vogue Summit told Teen Vogue that, while she doesn't quite consider herself a "gay icon," she definitely thinks the world needs more of them. The more visible queer people are, she said, the more people will feel comfortable being themselves. But beyond visibility, Sarah said the ultimate goal is to get to a place where no one needs to come out as queer at all.

Teen Vogue: When did you come out?

Sarah Chadwick: I came out to my friends in 9th grade. It's funny because I came out to my best friend and I accidentally came out in a group chat. So I meant to send a text to my best friend and I accidentally sent it in the group chat. It was with all my close friends, but it was still like AH! I Was in a restaurant [so] I ran to the bathroom and I was freaking, like 'what am I going to do?' They all responded and said, 'we love you no matter what, this doesn't change anything, you're still my best friend.' It was really nice to get validation.

I was kind of just out to the whole school by that point. I didn't really care because honestly, I don't care what people think about my sexuality. You don't like it, don't hang out with me. So I was pretty open at school and on especially on Twitter. I feel like that's where the gays unite. Then I came out to my parents in May, sophomore year. They were like, 'Yeah, we always kind of knew that. You never really showed interest in boys.' I was like 'I wonder why.' They were super supportive.

Growing up I didn't have a lot of gay icons. TV shows and stuff, they were all hetero and you never saw a gay couple until recently. So I was like, 'I want to be that for people. I want to be, I don't want to call my self a gay icon, but I want to be a voice for queer identity. I want to make sure that there's more LGBTQ diversity in shows now. And there is so much more. I mean, you look at the music industry. A lot of a lot of artists have come out LGBTQ and it's amazing. I just think it's so important because sometimes when you're young and you're just trying to find out who you are, you don't have any examples of anyone to look up to. So you just don't know, then you live your life in fear not knowing. That can be so scary.

__TV: Do you see being out and being open about it as a form of activism, and how does that influence you? __

SC: Even before I thought I was gay, I was always an advocate for LGBTQ rights, along with gun control, and climate change, along with [being] pro-choice. I've always been such an advocate and activist for those things that fighting for queer rights is natural for me. I mean, I know if I wasn't queer I'd be fighting for it anyway. But now that I am, it just makes it so much more personal. Queer people in general just know what it's like to be discriminated against whether or not they have been.

You just don't know and then you live your life in fear not knowing. That can be so scary.

So I think it's important that we stand up for other groups, other minorities, other causes that are also being discriminated against. Go out there, do what you gotta do. It's always been in my soul.

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TV: Any advice for other people who are in the closet, or maybe who don't feel comfortable being open on a bigger stage?

SC: I've gotten DMs from people like, 'I live in a really rural, conservative area. I'm in the closet. I'm scared to come out but I want to express myself and I want to fight for queer rights and everything.' They'll be like 13 or 16. It's really upsetting because...they can't be themselves in their area. So what I kind of tell them is that if you don't feel comfortable coming out ... I know a lot of people that if they came out they would get kicked out of their homes. They would be living on the street and that's not ideal. So as much as it sucks, sometimes you have to stick through it for a couple years, then you move out and you live in New York City maybe, or L.A. and you'll be able to express yourself.

Honestly what I hope for is that the next generation doesn't have to come out.

Or if you do want to come out at that time and you're ready to risk it and see where it goes, that's amazing. It's whenever you feel ready and whenever you think, you know honestly whenever you feel ready. You never want to pressure someone to come out too early or too late. It's all up to them.

TV: Has being out influenced how people react to you? Have you gotten a different kind of hate online than some of your straight peers? Or is the online hate just because you're an activist?

SC: I think activists just get hate in general. I'll tweet gay stuff and sometimes I'll get replies like, 'gay is bad.' I'm like, 'OK, screw you.' I don't really care. What does your opinion matter to me? Honestly, this generation is really woke. People are not as homophobic as you think. There's still a lot of homophobia, but it's not as present because it's bad to be homophobic now. Where, like, 20 years ago if you're homophobic that's completely normal. But now it's like, 'oh you're homophobic, get away from me.' So I think it's been such a huge coming up especially in queer identity because I feel like a lot of people don't feel as hidden and as closeted as they used to. But as for hate that I get online for being gay, not really. I just like to think that people don't want to mess with me. But I know that's not the truth.

TV: How do you think that shift — that it's now "bad" to be homophobic rather than the norm — might influence your generation, and the generations coming after you as far as accepting themselves?

SC: Like I said, queer media or queer representation in media is such a huge thing. Because that's how I found out it was OK to be gay. I was like, 'oh this person is on TV is gay, it's OK for me to be gay.' As much queer representation as you can get in media and the music industry, it's so important. That's when people realize it's more normal than [they] thought. I mean, it is normal, but a lot of people just don't realize.

Honestly what I hope for is that the next generation doesn't have to come out. You don't have to come out as straight, so why come out as gay? You don't have to explain yourself to anybody. If you want to date a guy today and then a girl next week, who cares? If you don't want to date anyone, if you're asexual, who cares?