Phoenix Jones

How do you take down a super villain? Well, super strength, detective skills, and the advanced wealth of a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist is a start, but what if you don’t have any of those things? What if your a 12 year old with muscular atrophy? That’s when the Make-A-Wish Foundation and a great group of volunteers step in.

Rex Velvet (above), the real life ‘super villain’ of Seattle may be more known for openly taunting local hero Phoenix Jones, but even a guy like him has a heart when it come to the kids. Especially a young 12 year old named Colby. Pairing with the local chapter of the Make-A-Wish Foundation, the local super-villain helped make Colby`s wish come true, capturing the villain under the name Super Agent C.

Diagnosed with spinal muscular atrophy as a baby, 12 year old Colby is unable to walk, is slowly losing function in his hands and has trouble eating, but that hasn’t stopped him from foiling the attempted kidnapping of the Seattle Seahawks mascot Blitz and Robin Hall, a former Make-A-Wish kid. Watch the video for the whole story, but bring a few tissues because your gonna have something in your eye.

“I’m trying to stop my arch-nemesis called Rex Velvet,”

Special Agent C said, and by chasing clues on the streets of Seattle, finding a piece of fur on a strip of duct tape, Special Agent C and his team then took to the air in a helicopter in their search for Rex. Once Rex’s location was discovered by air, a Silly String fight at Lake Washington between Special Agent C and Rex lead to the capture of Rex, and all his henchmen.

“It’s probably the best birthday anybody is going to get,”

Colby said, as the day also coincided with his 12th birthday and the 5,000th wish granted by the local chapter. Great job from everybody involved, including Rex Velvet. Answer the call if your local Make-A-Wish Foundation chapter ever gives you a call to help out, you’ll never forget it.

Many of us have seen the movie and read the Kick-Ass comic book, and we’ve heard the stories about real DIY superheroes and vigilantism, particularly in the Pacific Northwest where Phoenix Jones has taken to the streets to fight crime with varying degrees of success and controversy. Some people rave and hold these masked men (and women) up as true heroes, while others, like Det. Mark Jamieson of the Seattle PD, just want them to stop before someone gets hurt, telling ABC News: “They don’t have the training. They don’t have the authority.”

Suddenly though, and by way of the internet, we have learned of a new player in this battle for the Emerald City. Rex Velvet, a monocle wearing, mustachioed mad man with a bowler hat, a sword cane, a Space Needle dagger, and a propensity for grandiose statements and red cocktails, has made himself and his intentions known. The Emerald City has a genuine super villain too, and while he seems like he was pulled strait out of a comic book to stand against Phoenix Jones and the Rain City Superhero Movement, I can attest that he is very real, and very committed. The question is, is Rex Velvet trying to do something legitimate or is he just an attention seeking clown seeking to piggyback atop the micro-fame of a group of people who are actually, and foolishly I might add, going out in the street in an effort to help people?

I spoke to Mr. Velvet this afternoon while doing my best Vicki Vale impression and we discussed his secret evil plan to stop Phoenix Jones, his love of puppies, his henchmen headcount, and the importance of letting the police do their jobs.

For the past few years Phoenix Jones, the self proclaimed “Guardian of Seattle“, has had some ups and downs in the real life superhero game. Over the past week it’s been a down but he did get to pull off his own Tony Stark-esque reveal.

Facing charges for assault for trying to break up a street fight (for more and the video of the altercation, visit our friends at FilmDrunk.com), Jones found himself stripped of his costume and crime fighting gear by police and facing down any superheros worst nightmare (real or otherwise), a public unmasking.

“When I walk into a neighborhood, criminals leave because they see the suit. I symbolize that the average person doesn’t have to walk around and see bad things and do nothing.” Sounds the opening to the sequel of Kick Ass right? Wrong. These words were actually uttered by a mere mortal; a real life superhero named Phoenix Jones.

Jones’ dons his black and gold suit accompanied by a bulletproof vest, mace and taser. Just like in Kick Ass Phoenix Jones just wants to help keep the common folk from getting the shaft. Phoenix Jones recently helped a Seattle man avoid having his car broken into and from having any harm done to them in the process (Holy shit is that badass!).

It’s nice to see, as our disgruntled and poor excuse for a superhero Dave Lizewski comments in Kick Ass, that people in this world are aspiring to be more than the next Tila Tequila. Also, in case you guys missed it, Rolling Stonedid a piece a while back on real life superheroes. So what do you guys think about this shizzle… is it blurring the lines between fantasy and reality or do guys like Phoenix Jones make you wanna suit up and join the fight??

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