The Adventures of the Sex-God Savior and the Drool-Worthy Death Eater. Harry comes to a disturbing revelation about a man he had always thought he hated. He simply couldn't help it, Lucius Malfoy was absolutely delicious.

Warnings: Sexual content, slash, foul language, and a title that is almost entirely unrelated to the story.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, any of the characters, plots or otherwise associated with it.

A/N: This fan-fiction doesn't correspond completely with the 7th book, a lot of the characters that died in Deathly Hallows are alive in this fiction.

Harry knew something was seriously wrong with him. This...was not natural. Everything had been so black and white until now. He knew how things were. Hermione was a know-it-all, Ron was obnoxious, Draco Malfoy was still a git, Voldemort was dead forever and Lucius Malfoy was not attractive at all...right?

Wrong. Because he was. He was absolutely drool worthy. He infiltrated Harry's dreams, made his hours in office duty bearable, caused him to space out during dinner at the Weasley's, and made Ginny's advances on him seem not so terrible.

Oh yes, something was very, very wrong.

It was hard to say when this had all started. Perhaps it had always been there, lurking beneath the surface of his mind while he was too busy worrying about everything else. Was it when he was sauntered up to the Weasley family in Flourish and Blotts? Or was it the power and intoxicating presence he had in the Department of Mysteries? Was it the way he had looked the night of the Final Battle, somber and for once in his life, modest?

He supposed it didn't matter. At some point, Lucius Malfoy had poisoned his mind, and Harry couldn't find it in himself to want a cure. Now working in close proximity to him, both of them in the same branch of the Ministry, and his involvement with the order, Harry was hard pressed to avoid him. Every day he passed the older man, and every day his attraction to him grew deeper.

"Harry! Harry, are you listening to me?"

"Oh, er, what?" Hermione sighed deeply, setting her glass back down on the table and turning to look at him.

"Honestly, Harry, what is wrong with you lately? You're distracted all the time, and you get this dreamy look on your face."

"It's nothing, 'Mione. I'm...a little out of it, I guess." He said, scratching the back of his head and leaning back in his chair. He was having Sunday dinner with Hermione and Ron, who had finally gotten over themselves and gotten married the past year. The food was delicious and the couple wasn't arguing for once, but here he was, lost in those icy grey eyes...

"You're more than out of it, mate. If I didn't know better, I'd say you fancy someone." Ron said, causing Harry's eyes to widen.

"No way...you do!"

"Of course I don't, Ron. Don't be ridiculous." Harry said hastily, picking up his fork and pushing his peas around a bit.

"I'm not so sure, Harry, you do seem to be day dreaming a lot..." Hermione said with a playful smile and a nudge. Harry rolled his eyes and smiled despite his panic. If they ever found out he was day dreaming about a former Death Eater and Voldemort supporter they'd freak out. Besides it was just a phase...a...a temporary loss of sanity, right? Right.

"I should really go, I've got an early day at the office tomorrow." He said with a rather fake yawn. He pushed his chair back and stood up, heading for the door. Hermione and Ron exchanged glances and knowing smiles.

"Thanks for dinner and everything!" He said, apparating with a crack. He breathed out deeply, safe from his friends' dangerous curiosity in his apartment. He headed to his bathroom, suddenly genuinely tired and craving a hot shower.

It was deathly quiet in his empty apartment, and the silence and hot water caressing his tired limbs caused his mind to drift off into a fantasy he'd never admit having to anyone, ever.

Long, slender fingers ran down his chest tweaking his nipples harshly as a hot mouth assaulted his neck...

Harry moaned softly, the steam of the shower making him hazy as his hand trailed over his own body, wishing desperately that his hands were those of a certain Malfoy.

"My, my Harry, you are excited." One sinful hand gripped him, stroking his flesh without mercy.

His head fell back in ecstasy, leaning against the cool wall. Harry touched himself roughly, moving fast just as he imagined he would. His lips parted in a groan, murmuring his name.

Harry shuddered, crying out as he came. He panted as he floated blissfully in his post orgasmic haze. He came down slowly, opening his eyes as the water became luke warm. He turned itoff and got out, toweling himself off and going to bed, feeling relaxed and sated for the time being.

Lucius scowled, throwing the letter down on his desk violently. Like hell he was going to share his office with...with him. As if his current situation wasn't bad enough! The delectable little brat...showing off his luscious arse and looking at him as if he'd like nothing more than to be bent over his desk. He was a damn tease and now they were expecting him to spend his days locked up in a small room with the sex god savior?

He jumped slightly at the knock at the door, though he immediately cursed himself for it. Malfoys do not jump. His scowl deepened as he stood up, jerking the door open. His heart skipped a beat, finding the very object of his desires standing outside the door.

"Yes, Mr. Potter?" He snapped.

"Er...surely you know we're to share this office now?" The boy stuttered, flushing slightly. Lucius fought off the urge to press him against the wall.

"Unfortunately." He said with a sneer, taking a step to the side to let Harry pass. His body tensed as the boy walked by, brushing his chest lightly with his shoulder. He shut the door soundly and walked to his desk, his eyes on Harry's back as he set his things down on the empty desk positioned exactly opposite of his so they would be facing each other. Oh, that little minx, leaning over like that...

"Now, if you don't mind I have a lot of work to do, so please be quiet, Potter." Lucius said, sitting down at his desk and leaning over his work. However, it proved to be difficult to concentrate. Harry didn't say a word, quietly placing his things on his new desk. Though his eyes flickered up every once in a while, resting on Lucius for a moment and then darting away nervously. The elder Malfoy shifted in his seat, reading the same paragraph over and over and understanding it less each time. The boy was driving him mad and he wasn't even doing anything!

Harry finally took his seat at his desk and Lucius sighed a little. Perhaps he would work now and stop distracting him so much. He was quite wrong of course, because it seemed Potter had a habit of sucking on his quill as he thought. Lucius found his eyes being pulled upward to watch as he sucked the quill between those soft pink lips and cursed internally. He'd never get any work done...

The day was extremely unproductive, spent looking blankly at his papers and looking heatedly at Potter's mouth. As they stood up to leave at 5 later that day, there seemed to be a tension in the air around them. Harry gathered his things slowly, keeping his eyes averted from Lucius' as much as possible. Lucius moved briskly, thoroughly frustrated.

"Have a nice day, Mr. Malfoy." Harry said, leaving quickly. Lucius twitched slightly, even when he was timid he was delicious.

Harry was so distracted in the next few days that even Ron was becoming concerned. Hermione was positively fussing over him any chance she got, pressing for the source of his problems. Harry made up any excuse he could, hard day at work, plain fatigue, anything but the truth. That he was being shut up in a room with the sexiest man alive and he couldn't fucking think.

He arrived for work like normal that day, promising himself that some how he would get his report done today no matter how hot Lucius Malfoy was. Of course he always said that, and then the elder Malfoy always looked so much hotter than Harry expected and his plans were ruined. Today, Lucius Malfoy came striding into the room as usual, black cloak billowing and silver blonde hair pulled back into a pony tail at the nape of his neck. He looked arrogant and irritated as usual, though today he seemed even more annoyed than usual.

"Good morning, Mr. Malfoy." He said politely, hoping for at least one glance, one moment of those stone grey eyes on his. Lucius looked over at him for a split second, sneering slightly.

"I'm sorry to hear that. If I can help in any way, please let me know." He said. Lucius looked up briefly, and their eyes met. For a moment, Harry couldn't breathe properly. He was sure he would suffocate when Lucius' lips curved upward delicately. Harry blushed furiously, smiling back stupidly and looking back down at his work suddenly.

It was absolutely pathetic that one look and a half smile could make Harry lose his mind. He was really falling quite hard for Malfoy, wasn't he? He paused, his hand stilling over the parchment. It was more than simple attraction. He took a deep breath. He liked Lucius Malfoy. Of all the things that had happened to Harry Potter, this, he had to say, really took him by surprise.

"Sirius, I need help." His godfather looked at him from his seat at the kitchen table in Grimmauld place, worry coloring his expression. Ever since his return from the veil - thanks to Hermione's genius - he had been violently protective of Harry, almost to the point of smothering him with his newly found fatherly instincts.

"What is it Harry?"

"Well...have you ever...fallen for someone you least expected?" Sirius' eyebrows furrowed at this and he suddenly became suspicious.

"Harry...who exactly have you fallen for?"

"Er..."

"Harry..."

"Malfoy..." He muttered quietly.

"Malfoy." Sirius stated, his eyes widening a little bit.

"That greasy, pointy faced git that bullied you your entire life?"

"No, no, not that Malfoy! Lucius Malfoy." Sirius' jaw dropped and he got to his feet suddenly, his wand drawn.

"What kind of evil curse..."

"Sirius! Honestly..." His wand drooped a little bit and he stared at his godson. He sat down heavily.

"Lucius Malfoy...the ex-death eater..."

"He changed sides."

"The arrogant..."

"You can't even talk about being arrogant."

"The old..."

"He's not that old!"

"Draco's father."

"I can manage..."

"Does he feel the same way?"

"Uh, well..."

"You haven't told him yet, have you?"

"No." Sirius sighed, leaning back in his chair and shaking his head in disbelief. Harry huffed, sitting down in the chair across from him, burying his face in his hands.

"You really like that prat, don't you?" Sirius asked, incredulous even at this revelation.

"Yeah..." Harry muttered behind his hands. Sirius was silent for a couple moments and then he declared.

"If he hurts you I'll cut his balls off." Harry sputtered in surprised laugher, removing his hands to look at his godfather. He stopped laughing suddenly, looking down at the table.

"I don't even know if he likes me too. What if I tell him and he gives me that sneer? I mean, it's such a sexy sneer, but still..." Sirius grimaced, shuddering slightly. He shook his head, as if that would repel the very thought of Lucius Malfoy being referred to as sexy.

"Listen, Harry, you won't know until you tell him. If he rejects you, then hey, he's still the same arrogant git he ever was. If he returns your feelings, then you see where it goes from there."

"Your godfatherly abilities astound me." Harry muttered, his face falling back into his hands. Sirius reached over and patted his back awkwardly.

"Wotcher, Harry!" Tonks cried happily, embracing him as she walked into the hallway of Grimmauld place. Her hair was a bright blonde that night, her purple eyes twinkling with joy. She was very pregnant with her second child, her first cradled in her arms, and she smiled as she stepped back beside Remus.

"Hello, Harry." He said, his weary face relaxed as he smiled at him.

"Hello Professor Lupin, Tonks. You look great." He said, walking with them into the living room.

The rest of the order were lounging about the room, looking at ease. It was still strange, seeing all of their faces shining with joy when he had grown so used to seeing them in varying shades of distress and hurt. The order had no mission now, Voldemort dead and his supporters either imprisoned or in hiding, but they stayed together anyway. They were a family now.

Fred, George, Ron, Hermione and Ginny smiled at him as he walked in and he waved to Remus and Tonks before joining them. The couple went to join Mr. Weasley, Sirius and Severus. Harry took a seat on the couch in between Fred and George, who each slung and arm around him and grinned.

"Hey, mate!"

"How are you?"

"We've been wondering why you never stop by..."

"It saddens us greatly, Harry..."

"Absolutely brings us to tears, actually..."

"Honestly. Our hearts beat..."

"As one..."

"For you!" They said together. Harry laughed at Ron's expression, who looked rather ill. Hermione giggled, hiding her grin behind her hand and Ginny smiled, but looked a little longingly at him. She had been smitten with him more than ever since the war had ended. Harry liked Ginny as a friend, and more so like a sister than as a lover. He felt sorry for it, but he had told her he had no interest in being in a relationship. She had been crushed, and even now, when Fred and George were obviously joking, she looked heart broken.

"Hey, George, Fred. I'm sorry, I've been a little busy lately."

"Oh, please. He's been distracted by a love interest, if you want my opinion." Hermione said with a snort and a sing-songy voice. Fred and George gasped in unison.

"Oh! My heart!"

"Harry...I thought we had something!" They cried, grabbing their chests and looking absolutely stricken with pain.

"I have not." He muttered, rather unconvincingly, even he had to admit. He was about to change the topic, say something about Quidditch so Ron would start blabbing, but then he froze. His eyes locked on the door way, where both of the Malfoys now stood. He wasn't staring at Draco though, what caught his attention was Lucius Malfoy.

The man looked absolutely stunning. His tall form seemed even more imposing tonight, draped in an expensive cloak lined in fur. His long, thin fingers held his cane, silver rings glinting in the fire light much like his cold silver eyes. As if he knew he was being looked at, his eyes turned on Harry. They met his gaze intensely, and as long as Harry was not insane, his lips curled upward slightly in a smirk that made Harry shudder.

"Mate?" Ron's voice cut into his trance. He blinked and looked over at him. Ron was frowning and Hermione was looking back and forth between him and Lucius, a look of comprehension dawning on her face. Harry gave her a meaningful look and she kept her mouth shut. He thanked her mentally and looked back at Ron.

"Yeah?"

"You alright?"

"Oh, yeah." He said casually, though he couldn't help himself from glancing over at Lucius and swallowing thickly as his eyes collided with shining silver again. He was being rather conspicuous and wanted to hit himself for so blatantly staring at the man. But he was staring back...

"Dinner is ready!" Mrs. Weasley called at that moment and Harry got up quickly, thankful for the interruption as he hurried into the kitchen.

Of course he should have known that the awkwardness of the night was far from over. Was it coincidence that he sat immediately opposite of Lucius Malfoy? Or that they sat at the end of the table, thus removed from the heat of the conversation and left to talk to each other? He wondered if this was good or bad.

"Hello, Harry." Lucius said politely, though the look he gave him and the use of his first name made Harry's skin tingle slightly.

"Hello, Mr. Malfoy." He replied, taking a sip of his pumpkin juice and averting his eyes.

"Call me Lucius, please." He said, a certain tone to his voice that made Harry's cheeks heat up.

"Alright...are you having a good day Mr...er, Lucius..." Harry blushed even more, feeling stupid and blundering.

"My day has turned out to be rather...interesting. "

"Oh?"

"Yes, I believe I have come to see some things I hadn't before."

"Really..."

"Really, and I quite like what I see." He said, looking at Harry intensely, his eyes looking over his face. The brunette's heart skipped and Lucius simply gave him that gorgeous, sexy smirk. He was probably as red as a tomato as he began to eat, his mind whirling with disbelief. Was he...flirting with him? Harry felt a bit giddy at the thought...

Dinner was slow and Harry felt as if he spent more time blushing and stuttering than eating as he met Lucius' eyes and attempted to talk to him like a normal, sane person. By the time it was over and everyone was leaving, Harry was completely flustered and bent out of shape.

Almost everyone was gone now, Sirius was in the kitchen sneering at Kretcher to stop being so lazy and get the dishes done and Harry was just about to go in to floo home when a silky voice made him pause.

"Harry." He looked around slowly, his heart skipping within his chest.

"Yes?" He asked breathlessly. Lucius came toward him, his form towering over the younger man. He hooked a strong, ringed finger under his chin and peered down at him, a slight smirk on his face.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He said softly, so close to his face that he could smell the faint scent of wine and feel the heat of his breath. That simple sentence took his breath away.

"Right..." He said softly. Lucius' smirk widened and he removed his finger slowly, letting it whisper down Harry's collar bone gently before he stepped away and strode out the door. Harry's skin felt like it was on fire, he let out the breath he had been holding and sank against the wall. Lucius Malfoy was flirting with him. Surely, that's what that was.

Harry smiled suddenly, feeling like a love-sick school girl as he ran his fingers over the trail Lucius' fingers had made on his collar.

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