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Heating system replacement options

The compressor went out on my 20 yr old heat pump, so I have gotten 4 companies out to give me bids. Since my propane back up furnace is also 20 yrs old, I have gotten some bids on replacing that too, so some bids are for HP only, some are for replacing the whole system. So maybe that's adding to the confusion, but I'm on information overload. In order of cost:

3
I can get a 13 SEER coleman or American Standard with matching inside coil- this does not include furnace, and the 13 seer unit does not have demand defrost I believe, in the Coleman line

4)or I I can get a 13 SEER replacement unit, american standard or Coleman ( outside unit replaced, but r22 removed, cleaned and the new refrigerant installed, using old coil) this they said there wouldn't be a problem using old coil with new compresser, but I'm not sure.

So those are my options so far-
It doesn't seem to be much more expensive to get the new furnace included with the heat pump, maybe it's the way the bids are structured?
Is the 2 stage furnace with variable speed worth upgrading to? What about thermostat mentioned? any opinions?
Background:
Current heating system is 20 + years old, 80% efficient propane furnace( Payne), 2 1/2 ton Coleman heat pump,
2100 sq foot rambler near Seattle. We also have a woodstove that we use quite a bit in the winter, less during spring and Fall as it gets too warm during the day.
Thank you so much!

First without the model number from your indoor coil (which I doubt is 13 seer) I can't say you will get 13 seer out of the new outdoor unit, I know you won't,#4. #2 seems to be the best from what you describe, insist they put the correct controller on it so you can reap all the benefits it has to offer.

1 cool 3 heat to get the most out of it, or at least 1 cool 2 heat to get almost all of it's capabillities. I would be happy with 1c 2 h and have the (2nd stage heat on the furnace) come on after so much run time.