After CBS announced that production on Two and a Half Men has been halted due to Sheen's "statements, conduct and condition," the actor sent a series of text messages to Good Morning America today saying that he is 100% clean and that he plans on showing up to work anyway. Because nothing says sobriety like announcing plans to perform a futile and illogical act that people otherwise would not have seen. [ABC News]

Later in the day, Chuckles called into Fox Sports Radio with Pat O'Brien, saying that during his entire 8-year run on the sitcom, he felt like "an unwanted relative being given cold coffee at 9pm every night." He also thinks that the show is done for good. If nothing else, this guy seems like he's on a one-man mission to make talk radio relevant again. [TMZ]

Oh, and he also denies any anti-semitic sentiment people inferred by his referring to Chuck Lorre as Chaim Levine, since it's the guy's real name, saying, "So you're telling me, anytime someone calls me Carlos Estevez, I can claim they are anti-Latino?" [TMZ]

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An HBO spokesman said that the network does not have a project in the works with Sheen, despite his claims, adding that it would be a weird thing for the cable channel to even consider, seeing as how it's partnered with Warner Bros. Television, the studio that produces Two and a Half Men. [E!]

The crew of the shut-down sitcom are pissed at Charlie. One choice quote: "[Charlie] is such an ass-wipe, I hope some hooker, or some porn star gives him something that f—ks with him as much as he's f—ked with us." [E!]

But adult film star Bree Olson, who is currently partying vacationing with Sheen and another chick in the Bahamas right now has his back, via her Twitter account, saying, "I don't do drugs and neither does anybody around me." [Rumor Fix]

Paris Hilton, however, is remaining neutral on the matter, although she's been quick to remind people that Charlie is her neighbor. [E!]

Kelsey Grammer, 55, wed wife number four, Kayte Walsh, 29, this afternoon on the La Cage aux Folles Broadway stage just two weeks after his divorce from ex-wife Camille Grammer was finalized. It was a private ceremony for family and friends. David Hyde Pierce and Alan Arkin were guests. Following the exchange of vows, the couple hosted a reception in the Grand Ballroom at the Plaza that was said to be decorated in "a mix of Hollywood glamour and uptown sophistication." [TMZ, TMZ, People]

While his five-year-old son Jude (with ex Camille) attended the wedding, their 8-year-old daughter mason did not. [Us]

And in case you were wondering: Camille Grammer before plastic surgery. [Star]

It turns out that having a conservatorship has been very lucrative for Britney Spears. In December 2008, the assets controlled by the conservators totaled $2,826,362.68. One year later it swelled to $27,500,000. [TMZ]

Kim Zolciak's assistant Sweetie Hughes says she's been "traumatized" by NeNe Leakes after the Housewife called into a radio show and prompted host Rick Smiley to launch the "Free Sweetie" campaign. Says Hughes: "They're doing it for Black History Month, and it offends me. They have pastors calling into the radio station and praying for me. They've taken it too far." [PopEater]

More Housewives: You have to watch how weird this interview with Countess LuAnn is. The people surrounding her explode with laughter whenever she says something. [PopEater]

If the story that Christina Aguilera had sex with her new boyfriend in the bathroom at a family gathering has any truth to it (even if it was just a beege) then she's like 10 times more awesome than I had originally thought. [Us]