“Cisgender” is Not a Bad Word

I’ve encountered a few people recently, none of who identify as trans, that have openly criticised or questioned the belief that they should consider themselves cisgender.

As a trans woman on the internet who often talks openly about being trans, I’ve received my fair amount of angry rants about why cisgender is an allegedly vile word and why that person will certainly never use it for themselves. Truthfully, I’m not expecting to change those people’s minds, one article is never going to shift a perspective held that aggressively.

But I know there are also those who are cautiously unsure or perplexed by the term, who genuinely don’t see its purpose, as they either believe it’s unnecessary, unfitting or even offensive. If you’re one of those people, then I request that you take a minute to listen to my perspective and understand why so many trans people consider the term very helpful.

“What does cisgender even mean?”

First let’s actually define both terms. Cisgender, sometimes shortened to “cis” in the way that transgender is shortened to “trans”, describes somebody who entirely identifies with the gender they were assigned at birth. Transgender is an umbrella term that describes everybody else.

A common misconception is that transgender means somebody transitioning, who was assigned male or female at birth and is now transitioning (or has transitioned) to the opposite. But in actuality transgender is a huge term that includes non-binary gender identities and genderfluid people, as well as including trans women and men who may transition. Furthermore, not every trans person wants to, or will, transition.

It’s also worth mentioning, that like sexuality, people may change their understanding of themselves and swap what label they’re using.

“Why do we even need labels?”

We need labels for a lot of reasons, but most simply it’s because that’s how the English language works.

The example I always use, because its clunky ridiculousness illustrates the point, is that: I don’t tell people I’m a not-black not-straight not-cis not-man, I tell people I’m a white bisexual trans woman.

English works on defining us by what we are, rather than by what we are not. It’s used to give context to who we are within society and what group we are a member of.

“But I’m just normal”

Normalcy is a concept tied explicitly to hegemony, I would always caution anyone to be more thoughtful when thinking of themselves as “normal” compared to people from other groups. For instance, intolerant organisations historically often think of themselves as normal, as the default, while demonising everyone else as an “other”.

20 years ago it wasn’t unusual to see backlash against the term straight. People argued that there was no need to define their sexuality, because they were “normal” and only those who identified as gay or bisexual should have to tell people what their sexuality is. This viewpoint is obviously problematic. The fact that getting asked your sexuality is now a commonly accepted question, says a lot about how things have evolved.

“It’s all just identity politics”

Identity politics as a term has been warped into a new buzzword, one that unfortunately seems to be formed around making equality sound like a bad thing, or a wasted effort. Originally it was meant as a term to fight oppression and understand cultural inequality that was being ignored in mainstream politics. As a term it’s now often casually used to dismiss calls to be more inclusive or mindful of other groups and cultures, it’s become weaponised to criticise marginalised groups.

However, even this criticism ignores the fact that recognising that everybody is either trans or cis actually creates unity. It does so by showing that being trans is a piece of somebody’s identity, trans people are not an entirely separate sect of people altogether, we do not have our own unique incomparable and singular type of classification. Someone is cis or trans in the same sense that they might be straight or bi, it’s part of who they are, an important and relevant part but not their entire being, it’s not everything.

It’s the same reason we say someone is a trans man, rather than a “transman”, or how we say cis woman and not “ciswoman”. As terms, man and woman describe specific genders, trans and cis are modifiers, not their own gender.

“Can’t we all just be ‘people’”

I understand where this belief comes from, that labels should be abandoned in favour of us all just being seen as people. But it’s ultimately a misguided viewpoint that ignores the importance and power of identity.

To use myself as an example, whether I like it or not, my identity is political. My right to use which bathroom I’m comfortable and safe in is openly debated by politicians. Meanwhile my appearance is a middle finger to conventional heteronormative beauty standards, I do not fit normal expectations of what an attractive body is, even though I may want to or feel personally satisfied in my own body. I have had someone yell at me across the street over my appearance before because I don’t look “normal” to them, I look queer which is coded as inferior and worthy of mockery in our society. All of this is because of my identity as a trans woman. I could stop using that label for myself, but it wouldn’t stop any of these things from happening or change the way I look. It wouldn’t suddenly make it so that people who think I am mentally ill or dangerously deranged would accept me. Those people hate what I am, not just the words I use for myself.

There’s also the argument for owning a cultural label out of respect for those who’ve carried it before, and as an act of defiance. Despite all the connotations and issues people have with me being trans, I am proud of being who I am. Owning this label sends a message that I am not ashamed of being me. Yes, I am a person with my own blend of interests and personality quirks, I am not simply a label, but I am also a trans woman.

“But what about ‘Die cis scum?’ Cis is an insult!”

Again, I understand the theory behind why some people cite those comments as a reason they don’t like the term cis, but it must be stated that those jokes are made by some trans people because we’re powerless.

Someone once asked me why “Death to trans people” wasn’t laughed off and overlooked like “Death to cis people”. The reason for that is easy, if you pay attention to who’s actually dying.

Trans people are murdered at a hugely disproportionate number. Meanwhile a heartbreaking percentage of trans people commit suicide, especially youths. Being trans is dangerous, it can be deadly. Meanwhile the community suffers from chronic unemployment, massive levels of harassment and an epidemic of mental health issues headlined by depression. This is on top of seeing ourselves as punchlines on virtually every sitcom from the last 30 years, jokes that have permeated into mainstream consciousness and continue to perpetuate an atmosphere of violence and dehumanisation against us.

We have no institutional power whatsoever. We’re used to being ignored and ground down by the hegemony, which benefits and appeases cisgender people over us, in the same way that it also prioritises white, straight and male interests.

Refusing to call yourself cis because some people joke, or even sincerely, talk about hating cis people, is the same as refusing to call yourself white when you are white, because some people of colour rightly say that they’re angry at white racists or institutional racism (which flourishes from apathy).

It’s all about context.

“Being trans is just a new trend”

Transgender people are in the media a lot lately, but we’re not a new invention. You can find trans people all across history, across different cultures all over the world. You’re hearing about us more now because more people finally feel safe enough to tell you they’re trans. We’ve always been here.

We’re seeing more mainstream acceptance and developing legal protections but there’s a long way to go until we have transgender equality. Like it or not, when someone resists being called cisgender, when they know they’re not trans, they’re throwing up a barrier to accepting who we are. What we hear as trans people is that rather than make the smallest effort, to passively accept that cisgender and transgender are an opposite set of labels (and thus legitimise transgender as an identity), you’d rather continue to only tolerate us on your terms, which don’t respectfully accommodate us.

Closing Thoughts…

All that said, if you have a (polite) objection to the term that isn’t covered here, then you’re welcome to pop it into the comments or message me privately. In time, if there are enough, I’ll update the article with more responses.

As a final point, I just want to stress that all we want to do is live. We just want to achieve a level in society where we’re respected and can be who we are in peace, without having to fight every step of the way or accept that we’re somehow lesser.

About The Author

Mia describes herself as a twenty-something trans woman and total geek. You can find her on Twitter at @OhMiaGod, where she talks about life, trans issues and comic books. If you want to help support her and this website, you can also find her on Patreon.

That is absolutely fair. I think it highlights that there’s a lack of education around gender, the vast majority of people are simply never prompted to think about what their gender is.

I mean if you look at referral figures for British Gender Identity Clinics, they’re dramatically increasing over time. The obvious conclusion is that more and more people are aware that being transgender is valid and they can do something about it, in the past those same people may never have considered they were trans. They may have just gone through life feeling uncomfortable and not at ease with their gender, but not identifying as trans either by not knowing that they could.

Therefore I think a solution is perhaps not only educate more people about gender in general, but inform people that being transgender doesn’t mean huge gender dysphoria and transitioning, it can mean not really feeling they’re 100% male or 100% female, which is how I imagine many people feel.

Completely agree that “cisgender” isn’t a bad word. It actually took me, as someone who identifies as cis, a while to understand that. The problem, from my personal experience anyway, is that for so long I would only hear people using cis as part of an insult. “You’re cis, so your opinion doesn’t matter” was one I heard a few times, too.

I’ve had the same experience. My first encounter with the term “cis” was a transgender person using it to refer to someone negatively. More often than not, I’ve seen negative tweets, comments, posts, etc. about “cis white men”.

Having not seen the term used before, I mistook it to be derogatory. It’s only through following a handful of transgender people on Twitter that I realised the term itself is not derogatory, nor does it hold inherent negative connotations. It’s simply that the majority of prejudice directed at transgender individuals comes from cis people. Therefore, it makes sense that they’re addressing cis people in their responses to such prejudice.

First, the basis of the article, the “assigned at birth” term. I feel this is a deep misconception that keeps being overused. No one is assigned anything at birth in my opinion. The sex of a baby is determined through observation, and is assigned chromosomally, long before birth.
Gender, being a sociopolitical construct, is developed over time societally, in different ways in different parts of the world. For example, the idea of what it is to be a woman or a man will likely differ greatly when explained by someone from south africa, japan, alaska, iran and the united states.

As for the necessary use of labels as part of the English language, first, there are many other languages to consider. In English, for example, only the pronoun changes; He walked, She walked, They walked etc. In russian and hebrew, as another example, both the pronoun and the verb change according to gender. In the case of russian, both change in many different ways depending on time, specific activity and other things. As such, simply adding the “cis” label is wholly insufficient, when the language is either more complex or more basic than English. A true, actual world-wide equality would necessitate redisigns of whole languages, if grammer, and not overall perception, would require significant change.
Second, as for the argument of ‘straight’ being considered offensive 20 years ago, today it may not be offensive to most, but it also isnt used much. When I, personally, ask someone whether they are gay, if not, their answer is “No.” as opposed to “No, I’m straight”. If anything, that seems to indicate that labels lose their use/power, the more accepted they become over time.

Historically, names, labels and terms were never the catalyst of actual social change. Actions were. You said it yourself, no longer calling yourself trans wouldnt stop the assholes across the street. Black people has bloody and violent protests, as have gay people. There are yearly gay pride parades, even in Jerusalem, which is populated by the extremes of 2 religious groups. I wholeheartedly think trans people need to have a pride parade of their own world-wide, staging more protests and strikes against inequality, etc. LGBT+ people as a whole need more than words, they need action.

As far as identity, well, it’s much simpler for me.
I am a gay white male. I have not personally met, nor have spoken to a trans person (to my knowledge) before hearing Laura on Podquisition several years ago. It has never occured to me to address her as anything other than “she” or “her”, and just the same with any future trans people i have met in my life since then. As such, i dont feel the need to start applying a new term to myself, one which doesnt feel ‘right’ to who I am.

Speaking of not feeling right, while the term, ideally, can and should be used positively, creating a sort of implied equality, as you said, the facts on the ground are, that not once have i heard that term used as anything but as part of an insult, aimed at me or someone else, rightfully or not. As for using it as such due to powerlessness, well, i cant agree with that. You cant have your cake and eat it too. Either it’s a term designed to construct equality, or it is a slur. It cannot be used as both, predominantly as the latter, by the group seeking equality using that term. I wouldnt call someone “you gay fuck” as an insult, because i dont want the word “gay” to have negative conotations. So much so, in fact, that I activelly berate my straight *and* gay friends when using it as such.

But gender IS assigned at birth because people see the physical representation of your sex and from that point on you are raised to be the gender traditionally attributed to that sex. Hell in cases of people born with both male and female genitals, some even have their actual sex assigned at birth a lot of the time because their parents will choose if they would rather had a son or a daughter and then have the other genitals surgically removed.

Regarding the “Cis as an insult” section, and speaking from a postion of being indiffrent to gender whilst being affected by gender politics (because who on the internet isn’t nowadays), I have a concern regarding the certainty that a significant portion of people that use this phrase do so as a joke.

Not unsimilarly to the concept of a conspiricy theory, which is a joke to those that start it and, due to the echo chamber that the internet is, becomes a possibility to some, could a world exist in which some who say “Die cis scum” are actually entirely cincere?

Sounds like more perpetuation of gender stereotypes. Can’t we just accept that there are no universally true gender roles beyond reproductive ability, that each person is responsible for their own actions and not those of a larger group, and that people should not claim ownership of hard times and oppression when they haven’t experienced it personally. Not all people that might identify as “trans” will experience oppressive attitudes because of it. Especially if you have defined “transgender” to be anyone who disagrees with gender roles. Calling someone “cisgender” is assuming a sociopolitical perspective about that person, and that is just a prejudice. They might just accept that a person with a penis is technically a male and person with a vagina is technically a female as defined by biology. Every other attribute you assign to them “masculine/feminine” appear to be subjective social constructs largely correlative to geography and religion, not biology.

These labels seem to imply that people should be treated differently based on their arbitrary label. Which seems largely counter-intuitive to me. I agree the term “normal” should not be used because of the sometimes unintentional inverse “abnormal” having such a negative quality about it. “Classical” or “traditional” might be more appropriate but i prefer “archaic” when referring to gender roles. And i say “gender roles” because this is what everyone who is trying to redefine “gender” actually means.

To say that gender is fluid or that a person can be born mis-gendered because they feel like the opposite gender is to assert that there is in fact a role specific to each gender. Which, as i currently understand it, is a myth. At least beyond reproductive ability.

So I really do not see why should continue to reduce people to these labels instead of embracing them for the individuals they are.

Really interesting article Mia. Have to say that I’ve always been puzzled by the term ‘cis’; I understood what ‘trans’ means but never ‘cis’. So your article at last prompted me to look it up. Apparently, the prefix cis- is Latin meaning “on this side of,” whereas trans- means “on the other side of.”.

As a trans gender woman it took me a long time to realise my true gender and much of that was due (but also to being ‘thick’, maybe) to our unclean language. We often use sex and gender as interchangeable terms, so however I felt, I clearly had a male body, so surely must be of the male gender. Held me back no end, so I am on a one woman mission to urge you all to ‘clean up the language’. So where you clearly need to know my sex (say on medical records) you ask for sex not gender and vice versa elsewhere.

I think one problem is that the word cis is connected to a lot of villification.
Just as much as any other marginilized and mistreated minority group, some trans people show a certain type of backlash against the ‘mainstream’ society, wich includes disengagement with the rest of society, a focus on relations within their own minority and villification of anyone outside of that group.
As understandable as this response is in the face of insult and threat trans, lgbt, black, latino, and all matter of other people have had to face from bigots and ignorant assholes on a regular basis, it’s also a dangerous one.

As someone who identifies as cis and is very interested in trans and lgbt matters, I also feel alienated by comments that clearly vilify all cis people. Even though I think I am sympathetic to the fact that a lot of these comments are coming from a place of hurt, pain and helpless anger, even though I am aware that it might be a healthy, even neccessary defense response, I feel like it is ultimately still something that has to be overcome and cannot be indefinitely excused. Ultimately we should strive to achieve a healthy basis of communication and that requires all kinds of emancipation, the most difficult probably being the emancipation from victimhood.

There is righteous and important anger, wich is a powerful resource to evoke change and make yourself heard. Yet, I feel that people should try as best as they can to stear clear of generalisation and take care to not burn all bridges to people based on their gender or sexuality.

‘Cis’ is not a term I have chosen for myself either, neither have I chosen be born in the state is describes. Of course it is atrocious that you should have to face discrimination, bullying and danger to your physical and mental health as a consequence of who and what you were born as. But I feel like that doesn’t give trans people a a basis for discrimination against cis people either. As understandable as the pushback is, if it devolves into intolerance and discrimination it should be called out and not excused or down played.

A fascinating piece, Mia – and some equally fascinating comments. Maybe I’ve just led a sheltered existance, but I wasn’t even aware of ‘cis’ being used in a derogatory sense – to me it’s simply a convenient way of describing someone who’s not trans. Toni has correctly explained the etymology and Latin origin of the term, and that’s how I’ve always taken it to be.

As you rightly say, labels are necessary for a language to operate. And the way identity works is that if someone refers to us by a label that’s inaccurate, or which we don’t like then we should correct them and state the label by which we prefer to be known. Where it becomes insidious and insulting is when the other person disrepects our choice, and persists in using their own label to describe us rather than the one offered.

Etymology of the ‘id’ in identity is ‘the unconscious instinctual force’ – hence we have the right to choose our own label.