Satire: The Rebellion of Antarctica is Almost Over!!!

PENGUINALAND: Thousands upon thousands of penguins stormed the capitol today as the battle over Antarctica came to a close, in a 5 month effort to get rid of the long-standing Emperor's rule. Penguins could be seen hurling ice bombs at each other, firing fish grenades, and singing off-key in an effort to wrestle the city out of the grip of the evil dictator's regime. Some danced wildly and drank imported beers, while others, more focused on the task at hand, blasted their way block by block to the city's center.

The emperor, King Fishyouttawatah II has ruled for seven months, the longest any dictator has ruled in the history of Penguinaland. Casting his iron grip over the continent, rebellions have spread to every corner, gradually weakening his control. At one point, the regime seemed almost on its knees, then in a change of tides, the rebellion appeared to be crushed. NATO then stepped in in an effort to melt the ice, making it harder for the emperor's regime to fight the loosely-organized rebels. For months, no advancements occurred, and the fighting reached a deadlock. Only after months did the rebels launch a new offensive, throwing rotten fish at the emperor's forces, and finally bringing the land under their control.

The rebel fighters are still battling it out with the remnants of the regime's army, which has mostly defected to the rebellion as of 4PM Jupiter time. Other reports have mentioned a sea lion or two, however no roars were to be heard in the capitol today. The emperor himself is in hiding, though most believe him to be somewhere around Penguinaland.