Things just got weird

"You could be a model," they said. So I tried.I am a collector of new experiences. I thrive on trying new things, and feel that this is a core part of a fulfilling life.

So when Aryeh Levine took some awesome photos of me at a recent Hackathon, and people told me I looked like a model in the shots, I decided to see if I could do just that.

Why did I want to be a model? Firstly, it’s a new experience. Second, who wouldn’t want the validation that you are good looking by the current conventional definition of beauty?

So one night, at about 2am, I googled Israeli modeling agencies and filled out some application forms. Realization: it’s hard to find Israeli modeling agencies online, and if you do happen to find a site that is still running, it is usually horibely designed.

The next day I forgot all about it, so I was shocked when I got a call from Talent4You (classy name). They wanted me to come in for an audition.

I felt the need to clarify some things over the phone:

Did they actually see my pictures? Read: OMG, you actually thought my pictures were good enough to invite me to an interview?

Do you realize how short I am? Read: will I be that little person that they bring on for the fashion show halftime entertainment segment to entertain the crowd?

Will I be charged for the privilege of being picked by you? Read: many talent agencies collect a fee for taking you on as a client. They don’t even have to deliver anything, and you’re down 5,000 nis. I knew this from some light research I had conducted at 2am the same night I sent in my applications.

Do you just invite anyone who applies? Read: about a year ago I had been invited to an audition at a casting agency only to realize I was part of a blitz to grind through dozens of random people. It was so chaotic there I left an hour after my appointment was scheduled for without actually auditioning.

Once I confirmed that all the answers were satisfactory, we set a date for my audition, two days in the future.

Did I believe I would accepted? No.

But just an audition itself is an experience.

The agency was located in Tel Aviv, and when I got there, I found it decorated in the classic glam fashion style – tons of fashion magazines in the waiting room, posters of models on the wall (hair and makeup by Felix Shtein).

​​A TV was playing an endless loop of fashions shows, and the floor boasted a leather cowhide carpet (IKEA). Poppy dance music blasted from the speakers. These people had taste.

​I filled out an application form. It had BS”D (with God’s help) written on the top right corner. Welcome to Israel.

I also mentioned my unorthodox dance moves. Apparently my moves have a name, but she couldn’t remember what it was. Weird? Jerky? Either way, it’s good to know I am officially classified.

Being a guitar player and formerly religious were also points of interest.

They wanted to know what clothes sizes I wear. I had no clue. She filled it in for me. I left the parts about thigh circumference and chest dimensions blank.

After waiting for an hour, it was my turn.

I was about to find out what they were doing for an hour with the person who was there before me. Can’t you decided if a person would make a good model by looking at them for 20 seconds? Add another 40 to asses personality and catwalking ability?

So many questions.

I go in to the office. Have a nice chat about everything. They explain a bit about what they do and how it works.

And they ask me if I want to sign a contract.

Boom. Just like that.

Here’s what signing entails:

Paying 1,900nis for a pothsoot where they photoshop the hell out of you, make you look awesome, and put you on their site.

They then start trying to get you gigs. You get sent to auditions, and if you pass, you book a shoot day and get 75% of the amount they pay.

I am not allowed to do shoots independently; sign with another company; or leave the country or change my appearance without telling them. If I cancel a shoot I was booked for or breach our agreement, I get fined $2,500.

So I signed the contract. Worse that can happen is I’ll be down 1,900nis and have some cool pictures to show for it.​And just like that, I was added to the talent pool of Talent4You.For years I’ve been waving at my face and saying “this is what makes me my money”. Now it might actually come true.

The secret of life is not caring. I didn’t really care if I became a model, although I think it would be totally rad if I did. This is the secret formula of success.

Here’s the moral that I derive from this story: it never hurts to try new things - even if they seem impossible - especially if you have very little to lose. In this case it was a day of work and the potential rejection, in exchange for a cool experience and potential awesomeness.