Justin Verlander kicked the crap out of the Brewers last night, becoming the first Tigers pitcher to throw a no-hitter at home in 55 years. With his fastball clocking in at over 100 mph, his curve and change fooling hitters, and an assload of seagulls swarming the field, the Brewers managed to get only three balls out of the infield. Verlander struck out 12 and walked four.

By comparison, when I was 24 (Verlander's age) I drank a case of wine — not a box, a case of 12 bottles — with some friends in the parking garage of a San Diego mall, then later got tossed out of a strip club when I took my shirt off. So I understand what it means to accomplish something so great at a young age.

Join The Discussion

Verlander celebrated his no-no in his double wide trailer with a case of Mountain Dew.

06.13.07 at 10:17 am

grungedave

and on the complete opposite end of the Verlander greatness scale… I give you Brad Lidge.

06.13.07 at 10:20 am

Tim

Seagulls, Detroit. Makes sense.

06.13.07 at 10:24 am

Eric

"…then later got tossed out of a strip club when I took my shirt off."

You obviously never kicked in the NFL.

06.13.07 at 10:30 am

Weed Against Speed

Eric – Matt was getting more dollar bills thrown at him than the dancers, so he had to go.

06.13.07 at 10:30 am

Lloyd_Carr_Pool_Lane

Hey, Seagulls are just flying rats, and in downtown Detroit, there's plenty of stuff for them to eat…Oh, and parking in an open air lot Downtown will surely get your car covered in bird shit…

06.13.07 at 10:32 am

TEXAS

That's Funny. When i was 24, i drank a case of wine with some friends and got kicked out of a strip club for taking off my shirt, asking a girl if she wanted to fuck, and stealing a collection plate… wait. Sorry that was at church.

06.13.07 at 10:36 am

Eric

Texas – it's much easier if you just take a silly straw to the communion bowl…

06.13.07 at 11:00 am

Straiga

That depends…did you recycle?

06.13.07 at 11:02 am

raymes

god bless my stingy wang

06.13.07 at 11:12 am

Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean-Jacques Wamutombo

was it the Mission Valley mall? man, that parking garage was MADE for drinking.

06.13.07 at 12:06 pm

garingo

Nobody even mentioned Ass hole Pudge Rod's comments about him catching a no hitter and how it was the same thing.

Don't let him steal your thunder Mr. Verlander

Phils and Hamels Rule. He could pork any bitch he wants and here is proof.