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What Home Means to Me

Shania Twain may have said once that “home is where the heart is”, and she’s right. Whether one likes it or not, home is more than a roof over your head. There’s a few things that make a good home, so please read carefully, and look shockingly at yourself in the mirror.

Home starts with a house, but ends with a tight knit group of people who actually give a crap. Two thirds of all prisoners and homeless people in Denver combined are African American and minority populations such as the disabled, Muslims, and Jews. But the sad truth of the matter is that being without a roof is classified as “homelessness” in the United States. In this country, for those worldwide audiences who did not read the previous post, we have lost the true definition of home.

For me, being at home means being with my love. Trenton is where my heart is and staying where the heart is is my ultimate goal. Trenton and I have to have a place to call ours, and do we need a live inner? Home should be a place where we keep things clean, we do the dishes, and for us, we make the rules. Being in the HUD housing building I’m in, I consider myself virtually homeless, even though I have a roof over my head. Money is scarce, resources are scarce, and being told that you have to leave scares me more. Trenton is African American, blind, and very refined. All three of his favorite words involve flowers, and because workers and clients have differences, it is important to note this if a client is like him. He has differences from most males in the African American community. While he stands by his black neighbor, Trenton does not put up with anything, not even retaliation. Homelessness could result in guys like Joe, a dude we saw on the way to a community center by bus. Joe (name has been changed to protect privacy.) has been homeless forever, and because of this, he has almost no access to a bath or shower, resulting in the unhygienic appearance that sometimes lingers with most of this sort. Our buddy, Dan (name has been changed to protect privacy), also had the streetwise funk that is carried around when you don’t access a bath or shower. Homeless people are likely to sicken and die of colds and flu in the snow stricken parts of Denver, a northern city. Imagine a world where homelessness wasn’t a problem.

As stated in a previous press post, home is not just a roof, a bath or shower, or communal living. Home is a place of supports that extend to all aspects needed in the supports arena. For instance, Trenton and I have come up with a plan B in case things don’t work here at the building, but we don’t know if we can get a house due to the American credit and housing/home loan system. As a virtually unsupported person, I don’t truly feel that home is just in a mere building. But for the truly homeless, the ones like Joe do not have many family who can take him in for the night. Yes, we know that homeless men can cause problems, that most renters wouldn’t give an African American with disabilities a chance to thrive. Dan has some disabilities, recent paperwork from docs, but then there’s the question of forgery and burglary, larseny, and other problems that surround most homeless adults between 21-40. Homeless folks are generally penniless but a monetary donation is never enough. Dan reports unsafe conditions both on the street or in a prison or some shelters. Many overflow units won’t allow him to stay. I seriously don’t know what is going on in Dan’s head, but I know Trenton does, and he’s all right with him staying.

What Dan needs is a good network of supports, i.e. parental figures, siblings, some exes, etc. Maybe a good family is best, but Dan also says he wants someone in his life, a right he has as a human being.

Homelessness means you have none of the supports mentioned above on top of not having a roof on your head. Over my head is the Colorado skyline, and yes, a roof, but where are good neighbors, good friends, people who don’t give a care? We’re seriously trying to find that out. Since Trent and I moved in and started our lives, sort of, my church fellows abandoned me out of concern that marriage was the rule of law in God’s word. Whatever religious practice you follow, marriage has become second to nothing. Marriage is far too expensive to undertake, but seriously, it is the right thing to do. I told Trent that marriage would get us better supports which are crucial to our survival, however, I didn’t want to rush the engagements and all.

Our buddy has wished us well, so yeah.

Home to me is where my heart is, and that is with people I care about and who actually take an interest in my well being, including social workers, psychologists, and so on. Thanks for reading, and as a quick little public service reminder, keep your pets spayed or neutered.