“Holy shit that thing is big” were the first words my wife uttered, followed by “I saw the pictures but I didn’t realize how huge it was.” Those are words all men long to hear from their lady. The only catch here is that my wife was only referring to an extra large locker delivered by the FedEx fairy on Thursday.

Earlier in the day, she hit me up to check-in on how my day was going. “Just the usual. adidas sent a big box” I responded and sent her links to pics I posted on my Instagram. No matter what photos I post here or there they won’t bring the Impact Camo Collection – and adidas has a knack for dope packaging – to scale or convey how imposing it is in person, not even if you consider that’s a size 13 Crazy Fast Runner sitting beside the metal contraption in one of the pics.