Stephen Loomes

Solipsism - Poem by Stephen Loomes

1. BirthYou stick your head out and there’s lights blazing and peopleTalking and there you are in the middle of this world Which dances in infinity somewhere around the third planet outFrom the sun and what are you supposed to make of it? Are you going back in a Rolls Royce to some comfy castleOr are you going to roll around in a cardboard box crying, screamingScared beyond sense waiting for the protector who might never come? And that’s the beginning of life, lying on your back crying Or staring up at faces, visions of who-knows-what And knowing that a smile is kind, and a frown is dangerAnd waiting to know who is a friend and who is a stranger! And all of this in the middle of someone else’s history.Are you a Jew or an Arab a Christian a Hindu or JainA Moslem or Latter-Day Saint? Whatever it is they’re telling you, shaping your life from day one; Here am I telling you, you ‘aint! It’s a gamble how you’re treated Because as a child you’ve got no rightsYou’re a blackboard in someone else’s classroomWhere others choose whether its darkness or light.George Bernard Shaw quips from the side, “the child is father to the man “He should have told this to the girl who became the bride.

2. The Gamble

Life is a gamble, it is understood; If you are lucky in your childhoodYou might find yourself at schoolOr all alone without control.Are they being nice to you, Do they care how you feel,

Are they reaching for the genius within you, Or branding you as the fool? And how is your body? Do you look normal? Are the other children treating you with respectOr are you the one they laugh aboutAbandoned and lonely through neglect? Are you the one that’s left out Or the one that they protect? The centre-of-attention getting all the love you needOr wide-eyed alone and starving, wishing to be loved? As a growing child you’re powerless at the whim of those who tower above, But what are you going to do about it when you know that you are not loved? When the teachers reject you, without parents or friends to protect youWhat are you going to do and and who can show you what to do? Are you so wounded-wild you want to hurt the ones who make you sad, Or so mild that you can’t face them, Or worse, you try to please them when they are bad.What lessons are you getting? Is some adult telling you there’s a GodWho sees everything you think and do, and as this intrusion bears down on youDo they tell you how you are going to survive When all you want is to be loved? Or are you loved, safe in a cocoon, like the chosen in the Bhagavad GitaBorn of noble birth, a child of YoginsOr is your mother crazy and your dad a boozing cheater? Are you destined to win, or are you programmed to lose? And in the midst of it all on this rock shooting through spaceCan you learn to be a master of your faceOr are you so lonely and needing for love That you want to be a master of your race, Or glorying in the encirclement of a chosen race?

3. Distraction.There’s so many distractions when the hormones come, And there’s so many attractions; and when are you going to get some? Many thoughts and needs that circle around your headAnd schoolwork and bookwork and religionSome which want you living and some which want you dead.Through the five portals pour the music and video and television and moviesAnd preachers and all around without restriction, hypnotists Media-generals fighting war for your mind and attention and money, Create a sea then throw a rope so you won’t drownWhile role models let themselves and the world down.So your thinking gets confused as a million hucksters hawk their wares Some dressed like bishops trying to sell you salvation like blue-chip shares.They’re crooning and they’re shouting or they quietly pour their poison in your earsThink this way, and no-one confesses that what they’re trying to sell, Has come out of someone else’s vision of what’s heaven and what’s hell.They have it packaged and blended and sweetenedSo that you’ll be attracted and think it would be fineBut the ideas that they are peddling you can never say are mine! And they’re not going to give you time to come out with your own ideas anywayThey just want you in their line.

4. The Narrow Gate.But if for a thrill or too much time to kill, Or a pain from someone unkind, Who crushed you when you could not fight backIf it’s not religion, a way to think or behaveSomeone will offer you a joint, a pill for what you lackAnd next thing you’re off one step forward and two steps back.As the drug seeps through your innocent heart, You might feel better at the start than how you felt before But then the chemical has a home now in your body and your brainIt is comfortable in there and it wants to remainLooking out of your blank stare.So your spirit is running along a steep trail.And it is like nightmares sometimesGrabbing hands flail for you as you try to climb, Drawing you into the world of a junkie Where a chemical steals years of your life.But never gives you back your time.

5. Preserving the Holy Grail.Whether the Holy Grail of your mindIs filled with poison of the backyard kind, Or shaking in your prayerful handOn the road of someone else’s ideas.Like Paul on the road to Damascus Dressed like Colonel Sanders of early years, Saying I think the folks will like this one Franchising ideas and fears Your mind was not meant for these snares.But do you go into your closet and prayIn secret and alone become assuredBecause you know the Lord has heard Or are you down on the street corner rejoicing for the reward?

6. Resurrection.Ok well you’re still standing after that struggleAnd suddenly George Bernard, he is there Introducing you to this adult person who is youAnd you are coupled with someone and amazedThat on this third planet way out in spaceYour heart beating inside you as you see another’s faceAnd you love them and you need themAnd like Plato said in his SymposiumHe said like flat-fish we people are

Only half of a whole and when you findThat other half you are in awe It is then that you discoverYou are completed by your lover; And what power is releasedFor ever and ever and so be it that loveHas the power of a thousand sunsBut can you be certain of emotionsAny more than the God aboveOr will either of you betray for another’s love? Who among us can be trusted With this precious gift and power? But take the plank from your own eyeBefore taking the splinter from your lovers; It is morality’s hour.How much fear runs your engine when you are left alone? Do you want to destroy those who take what you loveOr can you forgive them when they’re gone? When love’s denied does the door open to hateCan you let others be if they don’t fill your needsOr like a murderer do you wait? When you are crossed by a good friend, do you strike their mind until it bleeds? What depth has your compassionIs there understanding in the end? Is there goodness within you, or does it come from up above, Have you found it deep inside, from a deep abiding love? Or are you a painted vessel with a hollow-nothing where you hideWhat makes you real and what makes you feel.It is you, who must decide.

7. Rebirth.

When watching lovers punish each other Through hurt they hurt back harderWith little compassion on show.I wonder is hate the fate of love? Is love divine, for evermore, Or just a congress with a whore? William Blake, the mystic with mind complete, Spoke of the whore that goes from street to streetWeaving old England’s winding-sheet.But I see this great and mighty whoreShining holy evermore, Thrusting humanity on through timeAs Bill’s mortal coil inexorably unfolds.Look now as you, trembling like never before, Watch the midwife coax the infant into this world, Or you the mother, wailing with painDelivering a human being into this worldly domain.Then you see a new being staring up at your eyesCrying to be loved cuddled and fedYour love once political glows unalloyedYour own child deserves no liesAs you cradle their sweet head, Your excited heart feels more love than can be saidYou bend over their crib and listen for the breathEnsuring this loved one be kept from its death.And so through this pattern which mankind pursuesWith optimism life and knowledge renews.