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Chapter 9: You Have My Marrow

Because you are constantly in conflict within yourself, whatsoever you do is going to be an extension of the same conflict, a reflection of the same disharmony. This is making you incapable of listening.

I have heard an anecdote:

In Eastern Europe, half a century ago, when marriages were still arranged by marriage brokers, young Samuel had been introduced to the young woman of whom the marriage broker had sung a gorgeous hymn of praise.

After a short interview, Samuel motioned the marriage broker into a corner and said to him, in a furious whisper, “What is this woman you have brought me? She is ugly. She has a cast in one eye. She’s unintelligent and she has bad breath.”

The marriage broker said, “But why are you whispering? She’s also deaf.”

God is whispering. God is a whisper, and you are deaf, and God cannot shout. He is incapable of it because he cannot be aggressive, because he cannot interfere, because he cannot trespass, because he respects your freedom. He whispers and you are deaf. The whole of existence is a whisper, it is very subtle. Unless you are tuned, unless you have become capable of listening to the whisper, you will not be able to understand, you will not be able to hear the music.

And you have become very gross: you cannot even hear if God starts shouting. Jesus told his disciples, “Go to the house-tops and shout from there. Tell people what has happened to you.” He had to tell his disciples to shout because people are deaf.

A great sensitivity is needed. To be religious is to be tremendously sensitive. And now comes the irony: religions have made you, on the contrary, more insensitive. They have made you almost gross by their constant talk of conflict, struggle, fight, ascetic methods; they have made religion also a battleground. Jainas call their tirthankara, Mahavira. Mahavira means “the great warrior” - as if there is a constant war with truth, as if truth has to be conquered.

No, truth is not to be conquered; you are to be conquered by truth. Truth.just to think in terms of conquering it - it is absurd. You have to surrender to it. If you fight, with your methods, yogas, techniques, you will become more and more gross. You will not be able to feel subtle, delicate experiences that are constantly happening all around you.