Thursday, February 11, 2010

Early I will seek you...from the dawn hours I will get closer to You...my soul is thirsty and longing for You...to see Your glory...and Your power!

Over the past several weeks, I have practiced and sung the song "Temprano Yo Te Buscare" by Marcos Witt repeatedly. (The first few lines translated above.) How many times in my life has God shown me His power! I cannot even count the many moments where indecision and doubt plagued me as I sought my own way rather than His; yet, He has continued to show His faithfulness when my own has wavered. As recently as two weeks ago I wondered how God would provide for a need we had--or worried, perhaps is a better word. Seemingly out of the blue, a sister at church approached my husband after the morning service and handed him an envelope saying, "I have had this for weeks. This is something I need to give to you because God has impressed it upon me to do so." When my husband opened the envelope later in our kitchen over some coffee and bread, the tears began as I realized my sinfulness. The gift she gave to us was exactly what we needed. Oh, why did I worry?

I do not ever want my thirst to be satiated by anything other than the Living Water offered so freely by Christ! Nor do I wish to lose the longing that I have to see His glory...to see His power. I have come to realize that He shows His power in such amazingly simple ways at times. Today the cold rain reminded me of how fortunate I am to have a washer and dryer! And, then, at other times He leaves me silent in awe of His tremendous unsurpassed power. I have a daughter! Every day as I watch her play and grow I am reminded that medically the odds were against me--but God displayed His power.

The song ends saying, "You have sustained me by Your right hand." Praise Him for that truth! Where will He lead me from here? I don't know. Right now we're not where I thought we would be as a family. In fact, I had it it all planned out in my mind. "We're missionaries...my husband isn't called to be a Pastor!" Yet, God's right hand is sustaining us in this new task He has given us, as He always has and always will. His glory...His power...that's all I wish to see. My dear friend saw her sister-in-law go home to the Lord this week. Our time here in this world is temporal. Early I will seek Him...in the dawn hours I will get closer to Him. I don't want to miss out on a single ounce of His glory and power; I want only Him.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Perhaps it's time for me to start blogging again, now that my little silly goose takes long naps. Or, perhaps that time will be spent on other things. I still do not know, but here I am.

I don't think anyone really checks this blog anymore since I have long lost the passion (or the moments of quiet thought?) to update, but in case anyone does, now you know that I do still exist! You know, I'm not looking for any blog awards, or any huge following. Just thinking out loud when I get a chance. We'll see where it goes...

My sister is in Kenya. When she gets the chance to update her blog is at: www.lilnel.blogspot.comShe's simply wonderful and I hope you'll get a chance to check out her page.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Once the most holy Child of salvation; Gently and lowly lived below; Now as our glorious Mighty Redeemer, see Him victorious o'er each foe.

A friend reminded me a few weeks ago about the very real truth for Christians. When we celebrate the birth of Christ, we must also celebrate His death. Our Mighty Redeemer, who lived among men, came with a plan to fulfill. I still cannot fully comprehend why that plan included me, yet the Child of salvation looked upon all of us with such love and compassion that He obeyed His father and offered redemption to this wandering soul.

I have always enjoyed the hymn "Child in a Manger." I rarely heard it sung at church, but I often played it at home. This morning, after I rocked my sweet Elizabeth to sleep, I sat down and played the hymn on the piano, taking in the words anew. The recording I have here has a few differences, but in the hymn book the words are as follows:

Child in a manger, infant of Mary; Outcast and stranger, Lord of all.Child who inherits, all our transgressions, all our demerits on Him fall.

Once the most holy Child of salvation; Gently and lowly lived below; Now as our glorious Mighty Redeemer, see Him victorious o'er each foe.

Prophets foretold Him, infant of wonder; Angels behold Him on His throne. Worthy our Savior of all our praises, happy forever are His own.

I've been thinking about Mary a lot this week. As a new mother, I find myself wondering how she felt, knowing that she had been chosen to carry the Savior of the world? She surely felt the same kinds of feelings I felt as I awaited my child's birth, but oh, what her obedience meant! Her child, her precious firstborn, would not truly be her own, but would offer His life--His body as a living sacrifice--for all, including her! Her own child, victorious in His death. Surely she experienced the same joy of the Salvation He offered, yet in a way unknown to the rest of us. I am in awe of her obedience, and grateful for the obedience of her son.

El-roi: the Strong One who seesJehovah raffa: He is our HealerEmmanuel: God with us

Our glorious, Mighty Redeemer is victorious over each foe! No other Christmas hymn touches me like this one! This year God has shown so many sides of His being. El-roi, the one who sees never took His eyes off of me. Angel and I married in 2005. Having married later in life, we immediately began to pray for children. A year passed. Two years passed. Many health problems surfaced and the hope started to fade. Oh, we prayed. Each time the test produced a negative, my anguish grew deeper. Why, Lord? Have you forgotten me? What about Hannah? I have prayed as she prayed, and you gave Samuel to her! He saw my tears. I faltered, but He kept His focus on me.

Jehovah raffa, He is our Healer. Christmas will always remind me of God's healing hand. At this time last year, we were traveling to my parents house in Virginia. During that journey, I tearfully accepted the fact that I probably would never be pregnant. He healed those emotional wounds that ran deep! Glory to God in the Highest--He healed my physical wounds, as well! December 31 brought the amazing news that all along, as I surrended to Him that desire to physically have a child, my little gift was already there! Jehovah raffa...how He healed me!

Emmanuel, God with us. Prophets foretold Him, infant of wonder; Angels behold Him on His throne. This Christmas I celebrate in a new way. So deeply aware of His marvelous birth, and so profoundly touched by His unselfish death. So amazingly indebted to His miraculous life!

Friday, December 05, 2008

As I began rereading the book of Esther this week, the opening verses struck me in a new way. Since I have contemplated barns and barn smells throughout the week, reading about King Ahasuerus' festive banquet prompted me to think about how Christ could have come. Chapter 1 verse 6 reads:

There were white cotton curtains and blue hangings caught up with cords of fine marble pillars, and also couches of gold and silver on a mosaic pavement of porphyry, marble, mother of pearl and precious stones.

A banquet set up fit for a king! I have never attended such a grand and festive banquet. Wow! I really have a hard time getting past the image painted in that verse. It almost puts me in a dreamy mood. There I am in a fancy dress with my hair just so as I sip some coffee in what surely must be an elegant china cup, all while enjoying a gorgeous silver couch as my heels rest on precious stones. All of this to celebrate the king!

But, oh, my meditations bring me back to another King. THE KING. The birth of the long awaited Messiah did not assume such beauty, not to the naked eye, anyway. Look closer, though.

The stable. Perfectly prepared. Mary probably didn't expect to bring her son into the world in a place that smelled like dirt, manure, animals and hay. Yet, there is something quite comforting about a warm, cozy barn. Among the first visitors to see the newborn baby were shepherds. Would they have dared enter the banquet described above? Would I? Imagine, a King who could have chosen where He wanted to be born humbling Himself and entering the world in an environment that welcomed unclean outcasts. How beautiful!

The manger. Animals dropped their tired heads and slurped away at the precious liquid found there. I imagine some weary shepherds here and there stooped to the animals' level and splashed some cool refreshing water on their weathered faces. A King set in a rough box meant to hold murky water? Ah, the beauty of the contradiction. This baby, lying in a manger was himself the only true keeper of Living Water. Offered to me not in a fragile china coffee cup, but in a humble, approachable vessel. The dirty, the exhausted, the ones who simply had no where else to go could approach this vessel and refresh themselves. Who was I when I approached the King, but one of those same dirty, exhausted beings? Precious water!

King Ahasuerus' banquet or a lowly stable filled with hay? I choose the stable...fit for a King.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

I am typing an entry on my blog! For those seasoned moms out there who have gone through this all before, nothing I write will thrill you. For me, however, this moment is amazing! I thought that my little sweet Elizabeth was awfully quiet, and there she was fast asleep on the blanket I had spread out for her on the floor. Mind you, babies do this all the time, but for my baby this was the first time she just zonked out all on her own while playing with her socks. What a sweet moment.

Why blog about that? I simply don't want to forget how sweet she looked lying on her side fast asleep. :)

I will hopefully blog about once a week as I attempt to join in on Erin's invitation to SoulPerSuit. I need a creative outlet!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

is like good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones. (Proverbs 17:22).

I think the first time I really took that verse to heart was in 2004 when I had surgery. I remember my friend, Anne, sharing it with me on the morning we went to the hospital. My dear friend has much more experience with hospitals than I do, and while she has had moments of much pain and sometimes discouragement, her countenance has always reflected her cheerful heart. Her wisdom in sharing that verse with me certainly helped me through my surgery and the recovery process. I must be the most squeamish person I know, but that verse kept me strong!

Now, I am preparing to give birth. Yes, we're near the home stretch here. I have some idea of what to expect, but, obviously, I've never done this before! So, the anticipation is great and the excitement has begun to brew...but some of those fears have begun to crop up as well. Will I really be able to do it? (I think I have to be able to do it!) Can I really make it without any intervention? What if I faint? (Remember, I'm squeamish!) Oh...there are many questions. Over the past few days, however, I keep remembering, "A cheerful heart is like good medicine..." So, I'm trying to remain cheerful and think about the outcome. Another verse has become a keeper during this time, as well. I have been memorizing this:

A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world.John 16:21

I keep telling my husband that I'm going to repeat that verse over and over...and over! I know that whatever happens, God will sustain me with His mighty strength. Until then, I'm going to do all that I can to keep my heart cheerful.

Mi guapito...

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A Wise Person Once Said...

"I only have one candle of life to burn and I would rather burn it out in a land filled with darkness than in one flooded with light."
John Keith Falconer
(Thanks to Rachel B. for sharing this quote with me!)