I'm going to have a little tantrum here, about maybe my biggest complaint about online dating.
It's not about the people who don't bother to read your profile, or who claim they just want to date but their conversation quickly turns to inappropriate topics, or the guys with no photo in their profile yet they have the gall to ask me for MORE pics of myself, or the many other things that would probably convince a saner person that online dating is just one big dead end.
No, my biggest complaint is about the people whose profiles meet what you're looking for, they seem honest & civil, you have some nice online conversations with them...and yet the minute you say, "Hey, let's meet!" they disappear.
What are these guys afraid of? It's just a meeting. Just to see if we get along as much in person as we do online. If we don't hit it off, oh well--best wishes, okay? If it turns out we'd like to see each other again, great--where do you want to meet next time? But we're not going to know either way until you get your tuckus out of that computer chair.
I've had five guys, all local, in as many months SAY they want to meet me, and when I responded with "Great, let's meet, here's my suggestions on where & when, what are yours?" They have all--ALL-- answered with either "I'll be out of town," or "I don't know what my schedule's going to be like" (and in two cases, both!).
Still, I try to take it at face value & reply with "Okay, when you're back in town & know your schedule, let me know where you'd like to meet & when." And you guessed it---that's the last email contact between us. No further word from them, and usually no further emails from me either (why bother, I know a brush-off when I get one).
Aren't we on these sites to meet people...or is that just me?

4Comments

Please dont let your experiences jade you though. Believe it or not there are guys that actually are seeking someone real, and are real christians with steady jobs. Remember though some guys are just as nervous about a first meeting as you may be, but your right, someone leaving people hanging is just wrong, Ive had it done to me too.

Be thankful that they run off rather than actually show up!
Nothing to do about it. More scumbag men out there just looking for a thrill on the side than actual decent men.
I have stopped this online search for dates. Every one of them has ended disaterously.
Although I come back to check blogs for old friends posts, I definately do not recommend this site!

Oh my goodness I know where both of you are coming from. I have been running into a lot of married men also. Who say they are seperating, can't afford the divorce yet, etc. Please! If you are still legally bound to another person....see ya! Even though I am younger and new to this I am also educated enough to spot a liar. That is what is most frustrating to me....being manipulated by a man thinking he is going to get a good time or someone to help him run away from his problems. No thank you!

I hear ya! I was travelling to Sydney so let 'John' know when I was available. He suggested dinner. On the day he suddenly had a death for which he was doing all the arrangements. Turned out he was actually a scammer (he's since been taken off the site). So sista, my take on what's happening is this, there's a very good chance that most of these losers are the same as John. There are some really dodgy characters on the site & how do we know how real they are? Do u know that 1 in 5 couples meet on the Internet? So far 98% of guys I've chatted with are scammers. So either bbws & ssbbws are seen as easy targets othrusts is not enough security on the site. I'm sure are some guys who are chicken. All talk & no action & generally time wasters.
Be curious to know usernames of your timewasters though.
Good rant btw. Well said.