tinamats.comhttp://www.tinamats.com
Mon, 13 Nov 2017 16:26:04 +0000en-UShourly1https://wordpress.org/?v=4.9.854533391refinemehttps://feedburner.google.comGratitude is a musclehttp://www.tinamats.com/2017/gratitude-is-a-muscle/
http://www.tinamats.com/2017/gratitude-is-a-muscle/#respondTue, 13 Jun 2017 08:00:28 +0000http://www.tinamats.com/?p=3958So like most of the people I know, I started the year with a new planner. I didn’t plan on getting the Starbucks one, but circumstances (hanging out at the hospital everyday at the end of the year for my dad’s gall bladder surgery) had me complete the stickers. I had a bullet journal with [&#8230;]So like most of the people I know, I started the year with a new planner. I didn’t plan on getting the Starbucks one, but circumstances (hanging out at the hospital everyday at the end of the year for my dad’s gall bladder surgery) had me complete the stickers. I had a bullet journal with me, though, so the planner wasn’t exactly going to be useful to me.

But since I chose grateful as my 2017 word, and I missed being all artsy~ in my planners, I eventually figured it out. I got the idea from a friend, who used her planner as her gratitude journal, and I thought that was a great idea and decided to do it.

So January came, and I took the time every night to fill the day with something I was thankful for. They were usually simple things – easy commute to work, waking up on time, good breakfast, getting some time to exercise. Or sometimes, something special, too: my two-year anniversary at work, crappy first drafts, finding dresses and discounts for weddings, going to musicals with friends. And some days, I wrote about the bad things, too: falling into sin again, worry about changes at work, annoyances.

I kept it up for a month or so, with the examen at the end of the day to help me keep still. I thought, “Hey, this is actually fun and easy, I think I could keep it up until the end of the year.”

The last time I touched my planner (other than this week) was February 14.

Of course this would happen. It always happens. I’ve noticed this in the past three years or so that I often lose track of my word and my theme sometime after January. What happens is this: I get distracted, I get a disruption in my schedule (in this case, it was the trip to Iloilo for the SFC conference), and then I find it hard to get back into the groove because life just got busy.

You’d think I’d be ready for these things, you know? Or you’d think I’d be ready to at least fight for what I’ve been trying to do a little. But I don’t.

Now we’re almost halfway to June, and I’m in kind of a funk. I’m not sure why or how or when it started, but I found myself complaining more, or ranting more, or just becoming cranky and impatient toward other people. I feel a little troubled with this, especially when I found myself dreading weekdays, and finding the days just passing me by without finding anything meaningful to make them count.

Have you ever felt the same?

Then I remembered: gratitude, just like prayer, faith, joy, courage, and love, is a muscle. You need to choose to practice it actively if you want to grow into that kind of person.

And I remembered, too, the blank pages of my planner that I didn’t fill with things and people I was grateful for.

And because I needed to do something about this, I thought: let’s exercise that gratitude muscle.

It’s simple: I’ll open my planner and write the things I’m grateful for everyday, again. But instead of just looking into me doing this until the end of the year, I’ll give myself ten days.

Ten days of gratitude.

Ten days of writing it down, of being mindful and intentional about being grateful.

I digress, sort of: when January rolled around, I told myself that I was going to change my physical fitness goals, because the “lose # lbs” wasn’t working for me anymore (did it ever?). I decided to change my “KPI,” and instead of counting the pounds, I decided to count the number of workouts I did in the week. That’s something within my control, and easier to track. My goal was to hit at least 3 workouts within the week.

And you know what, that worked. Granted, I didn’t hit the 3 workout counts every single week, but it changed my priority and made me less frustrated when I go for my monthly measurements. I knew that I wouldn’t see any changes if I didn’t work out a lot, and vice versa. It made me more accountable, and it made going to exercise more enjoyable, somehow.

I’ll be back to write about it again. If you want to do this with me, comment below? I’d love to hear your journey, too. :)

]]>http://www.tinamats.com/2017/gratitude-is-a-muscle/feed/03958All These Things (10): Hello Againhttp://www.tinamats.com/2017/all-these-things-10-hello-again/
http://www.tinamats.com/2017/all-these-things-10-hello-again/#respondMon, 05 Jun 2017 08:40:30 +0000http://www.tinamats.com/?p=3946Just last Friday, I thought about this blog again. It&#8217;s obvious that I haven&#8217;t been here but I&#8217;ve been around here and here. I haven&#8217;t exactly disappeared, just on a different persona online. Which isn&#8217;t really a different persona, too because it&#8217;s still me. But yeah, last Friday I thought about this blog, and I [&#8230;]Just last Friday, I thought about this blog again. It’s obvious that I haven’t been here but I’ve been around here and here. I haven’t exactly disappeared, just on a different persona online.

Which isn’t really a different persona, too because it’s still me.

But yeah, last Friday I thought about this blog, and I thought of how it’s been my “home” for those turbulent times in my life (I’m looking at you, 2013-2014). It goes to show that I blog and think about things when I going through something, so this means I’m not going through anything that warrants all the blog posts about things, in love and life and all that.

I kind of miss it, though. Not the turbulence, but that I had all these things to write here. To pause and gather my thoughts about life, the ones that don’t make it in my current work-in-progress, and write them down. It’s getting harder to do that lately – to sit and pause and be intentional about something, to reflect and look back and be thankful. I get too caught up with work, and the writing progress and the TV shows that the days just breeze by and before we know it, 2017 is ending.

So here, let’s try to slow down again, and let’s start easy.

–

Right Here, Right Now.

Reading

Just the Sexiest Man Alive by Julie James. I finished my first Julie James book last weekend, and why did it take me so long to read her? I don’t know. I’m reading her books partly for research because my next book is going to have enemies-to-lovers trope and I have no idea where to start with that. Hence the research!

Writing

My next book! I’ve actually started writing it sometime last year but I keep on stopping because my characters weren’t moving the way I want them to. I hit the same wall a few weeks ago, so I decided to stop writing for a while and just do some free-writing while I talk to them in my head.

I think it’s more challenging this time for me because unlike my first two books, this one doesn’t have a NaNoWriMo source. So in essence, the writing for this is really me starting from nothing. I’m still targeting a September release, so wish me luck?

Listening

Home by Reese Lansangan. Love love love this song.

Thinking

I want to write but I have work. (But look I’m blogging haha) I’m hungry and there’s chocolate here but I’m supposed to be cutting back on sugar. Do I need to prepare a presentation for tomorrow’s meeting?

Smelling

Coconut from this coconut-lychee flavored Timtams. It’s…strange but also okay?

Wishing

That the words will just flow when I start writing. And it will be the easiest thing I will be writing (haha right).

Wearing

This pretty blue and white dress that I always wear when executives visit our office, and black blazer I got yesterday. I should be in heels but I’m not. Maybe tomorrow.

Loving

That my parents are home. :)

Wanting

Mangoes. There are mangoes at home and I look forward to having that later after dinner.

Needing

To stop obsessing over the book planning and to start writing. You’ll figure it out, self, don’t worry too much!

Feeling

Happy that the work day is almost over. :)

—

I can’t promise that I’ll be posting as much as I used to, but I will try. Tell me what’s up with you right now? :)

]]>http://www.tinamats.com/2017/all-these-things-10-hello-again/feed/03946Thirty Onehttp://www.tinamats.com/2017/thirty-one/
http://www.tinamats.com/2017/thirty-one/#commentsFri, 31 Mar 2017 07:18:25 +0000http://www.tinamats.com/?p=3910Years ago, whenever March would roll by, the countdown would start. Actually, sometimes, the countdown started as early as the 17th of February, when it was exactly one month to go before my day. I&#8217;d post wish lists, make plans, and start using hashtags when it became the thing &#8211; #goodbye27, #hello28, etc, etc. It [&#8230;]Years ago, whenever March would roll by, the countdown would start. Actually, sometimes, the countdown started as early as the 17th of February, when it was exactly one month to go before my day. I’d post wish lists, make plans, and start using hashtags when it became the thing – #goodbye27, #hello28, etc, etc.

It stopped this year.

Well, kind of. I still used the hashtag, but I barely thought about turning a year older until it was finally the birthday week. I was busy with work, with writing, and other things to really think about the fact I was turning a year older. Then when my birthday this year finally rolled around, what did I do?

I went to do some grown-up things by paying bills.

Maybe this is growing up? Not that I’m less thankful for my birthday passing, but it just becomes a steady, pleasant hum in the background, because I don’t have time to be all

Am I becoming less fun now? Haha.

But yeah, I turned 31 this year, and the younger me would have had a post ready a few days after the 17th. This year, I had to remind myself to do this. My 31st birthday, was, as I mentioned, spent paying bills and eating and playing with my nephew, and the rest of the weekend was full of art, friends, and family. I was exhausted, so much that I had to go for a massage on Monday to get rid of the knots that I felt formed on my back.

If you’re freaking out about getting to this age, don’t. It’s fine. Whatever you feel like you lack now, it’s just you being hard on yourself. :) You are enough, you are valued, and your age doesn’t define you. It’ll all be okay. :)

But if anyone asks, I’m just 27. :P

I hope you guys had a splendid March. I apologize for not being here often, and I honestly still don’t know what to do with this blog now that my writing is eating a lot of time, but I’ll figure it out eventually. :)

]]>http://www.tinamats.com/2017/thirty-one/feed/13910Be Gratefulhttp://www.tinamats.com/2017/be-grateful/
http://www.tinamats.com/2017/be-grateful/#respondMon, 30 Jan 2017 14:22:48 +0000http://www.tinamats.com/?p=3887So it&#8217;s almost the end of January, and it&#8217;s only now that I&#8217;m blogging my 2017 word. Talk about late? I don&#8217;t have any excuse, except that it&#8217;s a combination of laziness, busy-ness, and part wondering if I should even keep at blogging for the nth time. This always happens, you know? But okay, better late [&#8230;]So it’s almost the end of January, and it’s only now that I’m blogging my 2017 word. Talk about late? I don’t have any excuse, except that it’s a combination of laziness, busy-ness, and part wondering if I should even keep at blogging for the nth time.

This always happens, you know?

But okay, better late than never.

So 2016 was the year of bold prayers. At the start of the year, I held onto this, in the midst of all my complaining (and believe me, I complained like crazy), prayers held me up and accompanied me in all my struggle to be still. Of course, sometime in the middle of the year, I struggled with prayer itself. Not that my prayers were ever empty, or that it felt like no one was listening to me. It just felt like I wasn’t praying bold prayers, and that was a crucial part of my word/phrase in 2016. It took me a while to hit my stride again, and by the end of the year I realized that maybe the point of praying bold prayers is not so much in me making those bold requests to the Lord but having the wisdom and the grace to notice when He answers.

Because let’s be honest: more often than not, we don’t notice those answered prayers because we don’t make ourselves aware of it.

Sometime early last year, when I was going through some sort of personal crisis in my day job, I had one prayer: Lord, teach me to be grateful. It was so hard to be grateful when all you want to do is complain, when everything feels so unfair, when you want to quit (but can’t, for some reason). It’s hard to be thankful when you have to do something uncomfortable, something you didn’t choose to happen to you, or when everything at work, in your life and in the world feels like a never ending source of stress.

And yet, we are called to be grateful.

So there’s my word/phrase: 2017 is the year to be grateful.

Gratitude is a word that has made made its way into my life in the past years, but I never really paid much attention to it. It felt like an extension, an effect of whatever word I chose, but now this year I want to live that word. In my year of bold prayers, I discovered that gratitude is the one integral part that is often overlooked. And now after 5 years of choosing a word for my year, it feels just right to give gratitude the attention it deserves. Gratitude deepens the faith, brings you joy, requires your courage, and opens you to love.

Here’s to a grateful year ahead.

“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” – Colossians 3:17

]]>http://www.tinamats.com/2017/be-grateful/feed/0388716 Things for 2016http://www.tinamats.com/2016/16-things-for-2016/
http://www.tinamats.com/2016/16-things-for-2016/#respondSat, 31 Dec 2016 04:13:48 +0000http://www.tinamats.com/?p=3878Right before I went on holiday break, I was trying to think of a year-ender post and realized that I actually had enough to write 16 things for this year. Maybe I was a little bit lazy in 2015, or maybe 2016 was just chock full of stuff, both good and bad but I need this [&#8230;]Right before I went on holiday break, I was trying to think of a year-ender post and realized that I actually had enough to write 16 things for this year. Maybe I was a little bit lazy in 2015, or maybe 2016 was just chock full of stuff, both good and bad but I need this little reminder to keep myself grateful for the following year.

But let me be all cliche for a while: I can’t believe it’s almost 2017.

So let’s start – some 16 things for 2016.

1. 2015 started with an intense longing to leave and maybe, quit. Haha, okay, so maybe this isn’t so positive? But there were several things that I wanted to end at the start of the year, partly for cleaning up, and partly because the environment wasn’t so healthy anymore. Without really going to detail, I did manage this — with some actual cleaning up and letting go, and with some decisions to stay. It’s funny when I look back on it now, but I realized that yes, decisions to leave or stay shouldn’t be done when you’re emotional.

2. Singapore! First SFC International Conference in an international setting. My first out of the country trip for the year, and also quite adventurous because of our airport shenanigans on our way back. Was terribly sick this time, though, but it was a good trip nonetheless.

Then I went to Singapore again later in the year for a business trip. My first out of the country business trip was very productive, and made me feel quite…mature? It was fun!

3. I turned 30. Funny how I was more scared of turning 30 when I turned 29 than when I actually turned 30. I turned 30 quietly, with my family, in a comfortable bed with wine and cheese on the side. If you’re almost at this age and you’re freaking out — don’t. It’s actually quite nice. :)

4. Switchfoot x 3. My third Switchfoot concert! I will never get tired of watching them live. :)

5. #AprilFeelsDay + #FeelsRushIn. How do I describe this? Oh, I already did. This is a happy day in the middle of a hot summer and pre-election madness in the Philippines. Kilig is the answer. :P

A few months later, we had #FeelsRushIn, organized in 10 days by the awesome girls (wasn’t hands on with it so much because of school). It was just as fun, discovering new talents and observing the crowd and all that. A preview of what’s to come? :D

6. Speaking of elections…talk about toxic? Still toxic now, but the bright spot was always #romanceclass and how we all managed to find the kilig in everything, despite the madness. Like that fic we wrote because of a picture and a ship we formed. The fic remains unfinished, because we couldn’t take reality. Sort of. :P

7. Finished school! I started a Certified Digital Marketing Course in 2015, and finished it this year! I took up Social Media Marketing in April which I enjoyed immensely (and learned that I have been underestimating social media marketing a bit) and took the final Marketing 360 course in July. Both of my defenses were on the day before Feels Days, haha. But I am now certified, so yay. Studying is fun!

8. Lost a dear friend. This year was also the year that I faced grief from losing a dear friend to death. It’s surprising and sad and I still miss him terribly, but I am glad that I had good memories shared with him. Thanks for everything, Chief.

9. Published books 1.5, 2, and 2.5. After a book and writing that is 2015, I made up for it this year! I finished and published It’s a Match last May, Keep the Faith last July, and Five Minutes Till Midnight, part of Make My Wish Come True in December. It was a challenge to keep pushing words out because I still face a ton of self-doubt but the accomplishment of seeing it out and having them read is satisfying. So yes, I’m still here, still writing and not going anywhere. :)

Special mention to the Christmas anthology because I organized this, and like I said, it was fun because it wasn’t so hard to organize it with a bunch of talented writers. :) &hearts;

10. So much theater. I think it was in 2008 to 2010 that I thought I was a theater person because I watched some shows but those years were lightweights compared to 2016. I was in the theater 10 times this year: 3 Stars and Sun, Godspell, Rak of Aegis x 3, Love/Sick, Ako si Josephine, The Tempest Reimagined x 2, and Mabining Mandirigma. I credit these theater experience with #romanceclass, especially Tara, who kept on organizing feels trips so we could support our friends. Definitely going to more shows next year. :)

11. Romance Lectures. Learning doesn’t have to be boring, and kilig is always the answers. I wasn’t able to attend the previous #romanceclass discussions in 2015 because I had other commitments, but this year we changed it up to being paid lectures. We did 2, but that was because the second one was kind of the peak? Haha. Not complaining, because hey, I never thought I’d meet Atom Araullo in the flesh until #romanceclass came along. ;) (I already met Champ through a friend years ago, but I only discovered his LI factor during the rockstar lecture. :D)

12.Conference Sharing, Part 2. I was blessed to go onstage to share at the TEACH Expo in 2014, so when the opportunity came again this year for the SFC Metro Manila Regional Conference, I said yes. And man, what a journey it was to write my sharing, polish it, and then deliver it. It was my sort of coming out to SFC Metro Manila about my writing. :)

13. #romanceclass x Manila International Book Fair. Talk about dream come true. Every time we were asked if we’ll ever have a booth in MIBF, we always say no because it was too expensive. But BDAP generously offered us a booth, and we took it and it blew us all away. I wasn’t there for the first few days but news of our books getting sold out was crazy thrilling, but it was even more crazy when I got there on the weekend. Probably the first MIBF I attended that I didn’t get to buy books, but the most memorable of all MIBFs I have attended. Thanks to everyone who bought my books!

14. New stuff at work. So the earlier part of the year had me struggling for things at work, which was a usual struggle of staying or going. I held on to opportunities to be poor in spirit, and held on to God’s work, no matter how slow it can be. Later in the year, so many things changed at work that left us breathless, but has introduced me to more doors than I can count? Really getting by with God’s grace, and still getting by with that in the coming year. :)

15. FeelsFest All Feels days are specials, and this one was extra special because we had a lot of time (well, a month hehe) to prepare for it, plus there were so many feelings this day! And new books! And other things! I posted a longer recap here, but my favorite part would be having my favorite scene in Keep the Faith read by Gio and Gab.

16. Lots of family time. I had a lot of out of town (read: Tagaytay) vacations with my family this year, and it’s always extra fun with my nephew around. This Christmas, I was all set to celebrate with them via Facetime, but God was gracious and gave us time to be physically together for the holidays until the year ends. :)

2016 has had a bad rep, and in fact, I’m nursing an allergy attack right now so it’s really a hassle. But it’s so easy to focus on the bad and make us feel bad when in fact, there were good things that happened this year if we just care to look, and if choose to be thankful. Despite all the darkness, despite all the craziness in this world, let’s not forget: gratitude is always an option. :)

See you in a bit, 2017. :)

]]>http://www.tinamats.com/2016/16-things-for-2016/feed/03878This One Solitary Lifehttp://www.tinamats.com/2016/this-one-solitary-life/
http://www.tinamats.com/2016/this-one-solitary-life/#respondSat, 24 Dec 2016 04:55:17 +0000http://www.tinamats.com/?p=3871So I haven&#8217;t posted here in almost six months. Hello, blog is still alive, just a lot neglected. But since it&#8217;s already December &#8211; and almost Christmas &#8211; I figured it&#8217;s time for a post. Not a long post, because I am usually reserving that for the days leading to the New Year. For today, I don&#8217;t [&#8230;]So I haven’t posted here in almost six months. Hello, blog is still alive, just a lot neglected. But since it’s already December – and almost Christmas – I figured it’s time for a post.

Not a long post, because I am usually reserving that for the days leading to the New Year. For today, I don’t have much to say, except that I’m sure we all need the joy and peace and love that we can this Christmas because 2016 has been throwing a lot of punches and curve balls at everyone, especially in the last months. It’s easy to forget all the good things that happened when all we see are the bad, and we forget to be thankful for what we have. During one of the dawn masses I attended, one of the priests said, We complain when we don’t get what we pray for, but we forget to thank God for the tragedies He has spared us from. So powerful.

So in this last few days of 2016, I’m resolving to be more grateful for what this year has been – both good and bad – in preparation for 2017. :)

But first, Christmas. Check out this video from Lifeteen, to remind us of the person Christmas is about — “…the one person, one life that changed the world.”

Merry Christmas, friends.

]]>http://www.tinamats.com/2016/this-one-solitary-life/feed/03871Sing it with your hands in the skyhttp://www.tinamats.com/2016/sing-it-with-your-hands-in-the-sky/
http://www.tinamats.com/2016/sing-it-with-your-hands-in-the-sky/#respondWed, 13 Jul 2016 08:09:12 +0000http://www.tinamats.com/?p=3763When 2016 started, I decided to create a playlist on Spotify called 2016 (heh). It&#8217;s mainly to keep track of the new songs I discovered this year, and also a way to make it easier for me to make playlists like this. Because look at that, it&#8217;s July already, and we&#8217;re halfway through the year, yadda yadda [&#8230;]When 2016 started, I decided to create a playlist on Spotify called 2016 (heh). It’s mainly to keep track of the new songs I discovered this year, and also a way to make it easier for me to make playlists like this. Because look at that, it’s July already, and we’re halfway through the year, yadda yadda yadda <insert minor freak out here>.

Oh, and did I ever mention that I love Spotify’s Discover Weekly playlist? Or that I love Spotify, period?

Truth be told, I almost forgot about making this list, if not for Timehop reminding me that I’ve been doing this for the pastthreeyears. Let’s not break the streak, and let’s not forget this blog exists, right? So here are 8 songs for the first half of 2016.

1. Bawat Daan by Ebe Dancel

I got into Ebe Dancel again thanks to Heneral Luna, so I spent quite some time listening to his solo album on Spotify. I loved Sugarfree, his former band, back in college, so it was quite nostalgic listening to his songs. I love, love, love this one, and I would’ve put this in the final year soundtrack but I want to feature it now because I don’t want to forget it later. I really, really want to watch him perform this live one of these days.

2.Rejoice & Pray by Ablaze Music

Never be afraid of anythingJust pray and keep the faith

I honestly didn’t think I’ll get the ~feel~ of this song when I heard it first, but there was a particular time at the start of the year when I heard this and caught that lyric, and I smiled because it felt like a reminder to keep on writing my next book. This is one of my favorite pick-me-up songs now. :)

3. 3 Stars and a Sun by FrancisM

I’m ready to defend the 3 stars and a sun!

This song is brought to you by PETA’s 3 Stars and a Sun, which I watched with #romanceclass friends early this year. Talk about a very, very intense play, from the very beginning up to the very end. It became a lot relevant later on, too, especially during the Philippine elections. It’s probably the first time I felt super emotional on some political things. My favorite part of this song, really, is the start, where someone is narrating the story of Honorio Punongbayan: But the most important thing they shared was a ferocious love of freedom. Hay Pilipinas kong mahal.

4. Dance Like Nobody’s Watching by The Natural

She see me like a Freddy Prinze so I’ma treat her like she’s all that, yeah

This is the first song I really liked when I discovered Discover Weekly on Spotify. Hee. I haven’t danced for so long (not the kind of classes I used to take, anyway), but this one just makes me want to dance again.

5. Pagsuko by Jireh Lim

Ikaw at ako ay alaala na lang kung susuko ka na

Another Discover Weekly discovery that just screamed my character Faith’s name over and over again when I first heard it. This always makes me feel so melancholic even if I couldn’t relate to this at all. Thanks for the feels. :P

6. Forgetting You by Nathan Angelo

I’m forgetting the way you movedThe way I feltI’m forgetting the time we spentAll by ourselvesCause it’s too late to try to change your mindAnd there’s nothing else I can doI’m forgetting you

Nathan Angelo is a new to me artist that sounded familiar, like the other singer-songwriters that I follow. I chanced upon this song randomly and I liked it on first listen. Kind of melancholic, just like song # 5, and also maybe a book # 2 song. I’m quite happy that I can’t relate to this. :P

7. Autopilot by Reese Lansangan

You’re more than I imaginedAnd I’m shaking my head, girl you did goodMy eyes are screaming “Just take my hand”I’m staring you down so hard

I first heard Reese when I attended Marla’s event, Letters Out Loud, almost four years ago (!!!). I followed her online and was really pleased to find out that her debut album is on Spotify, too! I liked everything there, but this one stood out because of that beat and because I realized this is a Fall Like Rain song. Hihi. I kind of miss the feeling that this song is trying to say, hee.

8. Alexander Hamilton by Lin-Manuel Miranda

Oh, Alexander HamiltonWhen America sings for youWill they know what you overcame?Will they know you rewrote the game?The world will never be the same, oh

If you haven’t heard of Hamilton yet, stop reading this post and listen to the entire cast recording right now! I’ve seen people talk about Hamilton: An American Musical all over my social media feeds but it took a while for me to get into it. When I finally did — oh my stars, what a nerdy, fun, and heartbreaking ride. I listen to the whole recording over and over again and I discover something new every time. (Or when I don’t, I just learn how to rap it better. :p)

* * *

How many times did I say “Spotify” in this post? I didn’t mean to. Or maybe I did. Any songs you liked in the past 6 months? Share them in the comments. :)

]]>http://www.tinamats.com/2016/sing-it-with-your-hands-in-the-sky/feed/03763The Slow Work of Godhttp://www.tinamats.com/2016/the-slow-work-of-god/
http://www.tinamats.com/2016/the-slow-work-of-god/#respondMon, 30 May 2016 07:09:23 +0000http://www.tinamats.com/?p=3727This blog is still alive. Hi. I have some drafts waiting to be finished and posted, but as always, I find myself a bit unsure if I should share them. Like they&#8217;re still quite unfinished and the thoughts were all over the place. (That, and I&#8217;m also working hard with releasing a new short story, and revising my next book. [&#8230;]This blog is still alive. Hi.

I have some drafts waiting to be finished and posted, but as always, I find myself a bit unsure if I should share them. Like they’re still quite unfinished and the thoughts were all over the place.

I’ve been restless lately, though. It could be I’m just having a bit of difficulty being grateful for what I have because it’s far easier to complain or resist. Sometimes I wake up with a lot of anxiety for my day and then I go through it wishing it’s over so I can go back to what I want to do.

But the Lord says, be patient. Be patient because He’s working. Be patient because He’s faithful. I admit that I’m not the most patient person in the world and sometimes waiting is painful (and boring) but right now it’s what He’s asking, and I’m trying my best to do just that.

So we’re talking about patience, and I ran into this today while reading Fr. James Martin, SJ’s The Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything over breakfast. I needed to read this over and over, so I thought I’d share it on the blog, too – in case you need it, too. (Emphasis is mine, btw)

Above all, trust in the slow work of God.
We are quite naturally impatient in everything
to reach the end without delay.
We should like to skip the intermediate stages.
We are impatient of being on the way to something
unknown, something new.
And yet it is the law of all progress
that it is made by passing through
some stages of instability—
and that it may take a very long time.

And so I think it is with you;
your ideas mature gradually—let them grow,
let them shape themselves, without undue haste.
Don’t try to force them on,
as though you could be today what time
(that is to say, grace and circumstances
acting on your own good will)
will make of you tomorrow.

Only God could say what this new spirit
gradually forming within you will be.Give Our Lord the benefit of believing that his hand is leading you, and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete.

]]>http://www.tinamats.com/2016/the-slow-work-of-god/feed/03727Thirtyhttp://www.tinamats.com/2016/thirty/
http://www.tinamats.com/2016/thirty/#commentsFri, 18 Mar 2016 14:24:29 +0000http://www.tinamats.com/?p=3665I turned 30 yesterday. To be honest, it didn&#8217;t seem that much of a big deal now that I got there, not unlike how I was freaking out back when I turned 29. Maybe it was the anticipation of it that made me freak out, which proved that sometimes we really do over think things [&#8230;]I turned 30 yesterday.

To be honest, it didn’t seem that much of a big deal now that I got there, not unlike how I was freaking out back when I turned 29. Maybe it was the anticipation of it that made me freak out, which proved that sometimes we really do over think things when it’s not so scary after all.

But it still felt a little bit surreal now that I’m officially in another decade of my life. I’m trying to remember if I had saved any blog post ten years ago, in 2006, when I turned 20. I was still in college, then, and if I remember correctly, I was in school, to do a project and to attend a YFC event. I remember that I wanted to be surprised, then, because I have never experienced a birthday surprise. I think I got pretty disappointed after, because I didn’t get what I wanted, and then that night, it felt like God was teaching me a very important lesson on humility.

It’s kind of hard to believe that those things happened ten years ago. That’s such a short time in the existence of the universe, but a long one in a lifetime of a person. In the past ten years, I have…

I like that my birthday comes so close to the New Year, so it feels as if I had another chance of a new year after whatever mess-ups or whatever I missed in the first two months and 16 days of the year. So I take the time to pray more and to listen harder, in case I haven’t been listening enough before.

I will make you exceedingly fruitful, and I will make nations of you, and kings will come forth from you.I will establish My covenant between Me and you and your descendants after you throughout their generations for an everlasting covenant,to be God to you and to your descendants after you. (Genesis 17:7-8)

The word faithfulness echoed all throughout my prayer time yesterday morning. The assurance of it made me smile – it was as if God was already setting the tone of my 30th year, reminding me that just as He has been faithful in my 20’s, He’s definitely going to be faithful in my 30’s, too.

And all I needed to do was to let Him love me.

Pretty mind blowing when I think about it.

So that’s what I’m going to try to remember in this thirtieth year of existence, my fourth decade in this world and all that. I have this tendency to forget, I know, but I’m going to keep trying. I’m going to keep on praying, so I may keep remembering God’s goodness in my life, and in the life of the people around me. :)

Remember His wonders which He has done,His marvels and the judgments uttered by His mouth. (Psalm 105:5)

Cheers to 30! :)

]]>http://www.tinamats.com/2016/thirty/feed/23665Blessed are the poor in spirithttp://www.tinamats.com/2016/blessed-are-the-poor-in-spirit/
http://www.tinamats.com/2016/blessed-are-the-poor-in-spirit/#respondThu, 10 Mar 2016 08:27:42 +0000http://www.tinamats.com/?p=3649The Sermon on the Mount is one of those Gospels that I tend to gloss over, because of familiarity and because let&#8217;s admit it &#8211; it&#8217;s kind of hard to understand. It sounds very nice, as well as very difficult, because some things there are not the things you&#8217;d want for yourself. Poor, mourning, persecuted. [&#8230;]The Sermon on the Mount is one of those Gospels that I tend to gloss over, because of familiarity and because let’s admit it – it’s kind of hard to understand. It sounds very nice, as well as very difficult, because some things there are not the things you’d want for yourself. Poor, mourning, persecuted. I mean, really.

It’s been a bit of a struggle at work lately, not because work is too hard or I have too many things to do. It’s just these questions of what happens next, the resistance of doing some things you were asked to do, and really, the general uncertainty if what you’re doing for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week is even worth it. I can already imagine my dad telling me, “Everyday is a Friday!”, which he started quoting to me back when I was super stressed in my previous role. Maybe it’s a millennial thing to keep on asking.

Yesterday, out of desperation and an attempt to keep my life in order after what felt like a terribly unproductive day, I heard God tell me: Consecrate your day to me, my daughter. I’m not a stranger to consecration, but I neglected to think of that: consecrating your day to Jesus. More so, consecrating your day to Jesus, through Mary.

So I prayed yesterday, and told Jesus I’ll consecrate the day to Him. And yesterday was a way better day for me, and I went home feeling happier and productive that I was able to do a lot of things. Nothing like checking off items from your to-do list, right?

I prayed the same prayer today, but at the back of my mind, I was a little doubtful. I mean, just because I consecrated the day to God doesn’t mean everything will be fine and dandy, right? I could have another terrible unproductive day.

Over breakfast, I was reading Fr. James Martin, SJ’s The Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything, and I was already at the chapter about poverty. Lately, I’ve been thinking that sometimes you pause and read certain parts of a book at a certain time because you’re meant to read it at that time. (Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic had that effect on me, that’s why I haven’t finished reading it yet). As I was reading, I had this feeling that there was something in the next pages that was going to speak to me.

And they brought me back to the Sermon on the Mount. At least the part of it.

Poverty of spirit means accepting that we are powerless to change certain aspects of out lives. “We are all members of a species that is not sufficient unto itself,” [Metz] writes. “We are all creatures plagued by unending doubts and restless, unsatisfied hearts.”

Well what do you know. As I read the next pages, I felt the Holy Spirit tell me: Pay attention. And I did. I forgot that I was eating as I read the next pages, and reread them again, I can’t help but laugh, and maybe tear up a little bit at the affirmation that I was heard, and that I wasn’t really as lost as I thought I was.

Poverty of spirit does not take away joy in life. Quite the contrary. It is the gateway to joy, because it enables us to surrender to ultimate reliance on God, which leads to freedom. “Paradoxically, then, we are truly rich,” writes Fleming, “with an identity that only God can give and no one can take from us.

Reliance on God may sound like a recipe for laziness, as if you needed to do nothing on hour own. But the reality is the opposite. It is a practical stance that reminds you that you can’t do everything. Many things are not within your power to change. Some things, outside of hour control, need to be left to God. Spiritual poverty frees you from the despair that comes when you believe that you can rely only on your own efforts.

Maybe consecrating your day to Jesus through Mary isn’t about having great days. Maybe it’s just about learning how to be poor in spirit, so you can learn how to rely on God more and be free from despair.

And I could really use more of that.

* * *

Somewhat unrelated:

I meant to blog more the past few weeks, and I had drafts of posts here for Valentine’s Day and Leap Day and thoughts on turning 30 (7 days!!!), but a lot of it remain drafts because I can’t seem to find the words or the point. It’s quite possible that I’m over thinking things, so yeah. But in case the few of you who are still reading this is still reading, I’m still here! (I also opened my author site, so yay.)

On that note, I do plan to write something on my birthday. I’m thinking of what to write that day, to make it a little different, and to make this personal blogging thing a little exciting again. I found that ever since my life has calmed down, it’s like the words stopped coming, too, and I kind of don’t want that. Words are friends.