I agree - except that I think love is much stronger than hate or pain - when it's offered with unconditional acceptance of the other person. There has to be the feeling of 'I love you and I'm here for you no matter what' that the survivor can accept and trust.

Last year before my SA bf confided in me, life seemed perfect. Recently he confided in me about the SA and life has been turned upside down. But I refuse to leave him because I love him and whatever good/bad things happen in life, I want him at my side. It's been extremely hard, but I try to squeeze all the happiness from all the little "okay" days that he has or even his "half-smiles" and cherish them. I wouldn't go back to the perfect days of last year because then, unbeknownest to me, we were hovering like a helicopter. He was acting happy yet living an inner hell. Now that we are on the long journey to recovery, our relationship is moving FORWARD, ever so slowly, 4 steps forward, 3 steps back, snails pace even, but my eyes are open. He loved and trusted me enough to confide in me. I don't want anyone else but him. He may not be perfect (neither am I), but he's perfect for me.

I
agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and
chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole
discretion of MaleSurvivor. I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor
resources are AT-WILL,
and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for
any reason by MaleSurvivor.