Shooter's rage at women too familiar in America

By Kevin Powell

Updated 10:28 PM ET, Tue May 27, 2014

Photos: Deadly rampage in California town21 photos

Deadly rampage in California college town – Jose Cardoso pays his respects Sunday, May 25, at a makeshift memorial at the IV Deli Mart, where part of a mass shooting took place, in Isla Vista, California. Elliot Rodger, 22, went on a rampage Friday night, May 23, near the University of California, Santa Barbara, stabbing three people to death at his apartment before shooting and killing three more in a nearby neighborhood, sheriff's officials said. Rodger also injured 13 others and died of an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound, authorities said.

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Deadly rampage in California college town – A man places flowers on the lawn of the Alpha Phi sorority house in Isla Vista on May 25. Two young women -- Katherine Cooper, 22, and Veronika Weiss, 19, -- were fatally shot outside the house Friday night.

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Deadly rampage in California college town – Students gather for a candlelight vigil at the University of California, Santa Barbara, on Saturday, May 24.

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Deadly rampage in California college town – Two students comfort each other during the candlelight vigil to honor the victims of Friday night's mass shooting in Isla Vista.

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Deadly rampage in California college town – People gather at a park in Isla Vista for the May 24 vigil.

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Deadly rampage in California college town – IV Deli Mart owner Michael Hassan, second from left, cleans up his store with employees May 24 as onlookers gather outside one of the shooting scenes. Student Christopher Martinez, 20, was getting a sandwich at the deli when he was fatally shot.

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Deadly rampage in California college town – University of Santa Barbara, California, student Derrick Hayes gets emotional outside the IV Deli Mart on May 24 in Isla Vista.

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Deadly rampage in California college town – A police officer inspects the gunman's car on May 24 after the killing spree in Isla Vista. The suspect, described as mentally disturbed and possibly bent on retribution, sprayed bullets from his car in a rampage called "premeditated mass murder," Santa Barbara County sheriff's deputies said.

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Deadly rampage in California college town – A Santa Barbara County deputy sheriff walks along the street May 24 near a shooting scene in Isla Vista.

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Deadly rampage in California college town – Santa Barbara County Sheriff Bill Brown speaks at a press conference regarding murder suspect Elliot Rodger on May 24. All the weapons used in Friday's rampage "were legally purchased" and registered to the suspect, Brown told reporters.

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Deadly rampage in California college town – Flowers are placed in a bullet hole in the window of a delicatessen in Isla Vista on May 24.

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Deadly rampage in California college town – Richard Martinez, father of victim Christopher Martinez, breaks down as he talks to media outside the Santa Barbara County Sheriff's Office. "Our family has a message for every parent out there: You don't think it will happen to your child until it does," the visibly emotional parent said.

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Deadly rampage in California college town – An investigator speaks on a cell phone while examining the gunman's car.

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Deadly rampage in California college town – A woman looks at the bullet holes on the window of the deli where part of the shooting spree took place in Isla Vista, California.

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Deadly rampage in California college town – Flowers are left on the sidewalk of the IV Deli Mart in Isla Vista, California.

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Deadly rampage in California college town – Two women comfort each other Saturday near the scene of a shooting. Seven people also were being treated in a hospital for gunshot wounds or traumatic injuries, a sheriff's office spokeswoman said.

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Deadly rampage in California college town – A Santa Barbara County deputy sheriff checks out the black BMW sedan driven by the suspected shooter. The gunman died from a gunshot wound after his car crashed, police said. It was unclear whether the fatal head wound was self-inflicted or the result of a firefight with police.

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Deadly rampage in California college town – The car of the alleged shooter at the crime scene Saturday. Isla Vista is the residential quarter for students mostly enrolled in UCSB and some in Santa Barbara City College. The community sits on beachfront bluffs just west of UCSB.

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Deadly rampage in California college town – The crime scene in the aftermath of the shooting.

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Deadly rampage in California college town – Broken glass at the shooting scene Saturday. Authorities said there were multiple crime scenes.

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Deadly rampage in California college town – Fire trucks are parked outside an Isla Vista mart Friday night after the deadly rampage. The shootings occurred in a crowded area bustling with activity on Memorial Day weekend.

Story highlights

Killings are a toxic mix of male privilege and mental instability, he says

He says our culture tolerates, even celebrates violence against women. We must change this

Powell: Problem is closer than we think; among military, police, young men, and in media

What exactly is a man?

This is the question that has been pounding in my head since watching Elliot Rodger's chilling "Retribution" YouTube video posted right before he went on his stabbing and shooting rampage in Isla Vista, California.

I was struck by his numerous references to being a "man," his feelings of rejection by women, his frustrated desire to have sex with them. He was a man feeling absolutely powerless, enraged at being denied the gender privilege that men enjoy in a male-dominated world.

Blend that warped sense of male grievance with mental illness, America's abundance of guns, and the epidemic of violence against women and girls on our planet, and you get prime conditions for bloody scenes like that in sunny California. To simply say "he was crazy" or "gun control is the problem" is to ignore how different forces operate together, over and over, leading to horrific slaughters in places like Newtown, Columbine and now Isla Vista.

If we examine the perpetrators of American mass murders of the last 20 years, overwhelmingly they are men. Sooner rather than later we must ask ourselves when and how we are going to redefine manhood away from violence, retribution, guns and killing? When will we teach men and boys that power comes not from the barrel of a gun, that there are other ways to express or deal with pain or trauma, ways rooted in peace, love, nonviolence?

That Rodger spoke so bluntly about his desire to destroy women -- although several men were caught in the crossfire of his rage, too -- speaks to a terrible pattern in our society and around the world: One in four females in America have been or will be the victim of some sort of violence from an intimate partner, including sexual assault. That number is one in three across the globe. Have men been victims of some form of violence at the hands of women? Sometimes, absolutely. But the number pales in comparison to male attacks on women and girls.

But it is also much closer to home than we think. Last week I visited a New York high school, as I often do as a community activist and speaker, to talk about issues relevant to them. A number of the young men there thought there was nothing wrong with describing women in language eerily similar to Rodger's YouTube video. Females were referred to, for example, as "thots," a term that has exploded on social media and means "that ho over there."

These young men also said that if women dressed or behaved a certain way they deserved to be mistreated or abused or worse. Does that mean these young men will go out and kill women they hate or feel dissed by? No. But it does suggest that gender violence—physical, verbal, emotional—is something we often ignore, something that has become acceptable and justifiable. How many more young men with views like Elliott Rodger are out there?

Yes I am deeply disturbed by what seems like a clear case of Rodger's mental illness, coupled with the social and cultural disconnect that allowed him to buy guns with ease, and the idea that police officers who paid him a visit only a month before were persuaded by him that there was no reason to take action. We of course have to make mental health a priority in America. It does not matter if it is an Elliot Rodger in California or countless inner city men in my home community of Brooklyn.

But it is not enough to say "no more." We must actually begin to have conversations, locally and nationally, on the state of American men and boys. Clearly something is terribly wrong when every single diss or beef felt by a disturbed man can build and deform until it becomes another slaying or mass shooting.