More questions than answers

As you may have recognised over the past few posts I am in a very inquisitive mood at the moment and where this may be a positive thing most of the time it can also be the seat of all evil when used the wrong way. I can handle the facts as they appear and even look at others and see what I think is going on without the need to pry further, infact the need to know everything is one of my old issues and I feel 100% better for the loss of it. Saying that it does flitter into my head every now and then and I fight hard to control the urge to consider every gesture or comment below their face value, the need to discover the true intention of everyone or everything makes things interesting to say the least.

I had a whinge about acronyms yesterday and the problem with them is a real one, just knowing all the necessary names is quite tiring so adding new ones can be exhausting, the same goes with labels, I have to know why they were given and what the derivation is, its not just the world of mental health and social services that get me going simple things like words I cant remember drive me insane and use more energy than they have any right to.

I have always joked that the theme tune for my unit should be More questions than answers by Johnny Nash I believe, because apart from the joke its so very true, I think I know whats what and have a handle on it then boom one of the therapists will throw a psycho babble hand grenade and my head is reeling with the ramifications for me or whoever I thought I’d got my head around.

To be honest the only I know for a fact is I know nothing for a fact, my mind was once like a sponge that soaked up everything that went on around me from snippets of conversations and peripheral events to lessons being taught and books, the trivia I have is useless most of the time but fun to have in a snap, now though I realise that almost all information is subject to discourse, the statements of fact of one scientist or thinker can be refuted by another equally eminent person and usually are. Some of the most commonly held truths are in fact questionable with the implementation of modern scientific techniques and systems and therefore things we thought we knew are now one possible side of the facts as they now stand, confused? you should be.

The world of mental health is dynamic, it changes its focus and language on a fairly regular basis, the argument over BPD is by no means the only intellectual battle ground in this field and the eventual winner will only be crowned for a short while before the next metaphorical usurper piles into the fray. This leads me to my point today, sorry it took so long. How are we to believe and acknowledge anything we are told from a psychiatric point of views or indeed medical as well when the experts have no common hymn book to sing from, their are entire schools of thought which are at diametric points of view on everything and anything sometimes it appears they are doing it to be contrary but the money spent on proving or disproving whatever theory the have decided to take umbrage with suggest they have some heavy weight support from government and private interests, like pharmaceutical companies.

I am left feeling very stupid and not a small amount insignificant, my problems and there symptoms are all encompassing to me but out there they are reinventing the wheel just to prove it needs to be done, if all these people could find a congress of opinion and set their sights collectively on an answer to the real questions left to be sorted then maybe we could find a cure for cancer or mental illness or whatever else needs to be found, its from a frustrated place that I wonder if there will always be more questions than answers or will they one day decide to start to answer each one at a time and only move on when they have a satisfactory solution to each problem. I guess I will never see it but its a nice fantasy I suppose