Is Facebook Making Us Lonely and Vain or Just Totally Narcissistic?

There has been a lot of research of late claiming Facebook is making us lonely. A rather damning article in The Atlantic suggests that many people withdraw into the world of Facebook but feel worse about their lives in comparison to everyone’s displays of happiness. While others like this Slate.com article by Eric Klinenberg refutes that claim with research that, “the quality and quantity of Americans’ relationships are about the same today as they were before the Internet.” So take from that what you will. Personally, I’ve had a few minor meltdowns comparing my life to others on Facebook or when the “People You May Know” section brings up people I no longer want or have in my life. I don’t think those things are making me lonely, but feeling shitty for an afternoon? Sure.

However, I’m am concerned Facebook is increasing our vanity. And even more so, Instagram. It captures one moment. One moment the owner has carefully selected, filtered and uploaded. If only life allowed for such control over life’s moments. I don’t know any woman that doesn’t de-tag unflattering photos. I’ve been emailed by friends to remove a photo that they thought was unflattering when I thought they looked fine. I think it’s a fairly feminine trait to be picky about pictures. Like a lot of women, I’m not thrilled with about 60% of photos taken of me. I think I’m not alone in caring more about people’s pictures than any of their status updates or “about” information. If I want to stalk an old high school nemesis, I’m doing it through her pictures. We are all taking photos and sharing them, so I understand the need to try to control those photos. I hadn’t finished walking down the aisle before friends had uploaded photos of me on Facebook. Thankfully after an afternoon in hair and makeup, I was satisfied that I looked okay in all of these pics. But this world of instant moments and photos shared with hundreds if not thousands of “friends” makes me worried more about the Facebook narcissism phenomenon than its loneliness effects. Then again, that’s sounds like a vain viewpoint.

No one can take a picture without checking to make sure the camera owner is pleased with themselves in the photo, retaking it, or if it’s a good photo – immediately disseminating said photo to Facebook, instagram or twitter friends. As a whole, taking pictures is starting to suck. Are we getting more narcissistic? I’ve read that most of the people on reality television have Narcissistic Personality Disorder (yes, it is a thing). Narcissistic personality disorder is a condition in which people have an inflated sense of self-importance and an extreme preoccupation with themselves. But with that definition, every high school jock, cheerleader, as well as half of LA inhabitants have NPD.

A May 2012 New York Times article discussed the Facebook/narcissism issue. Surprisingly, it revealed that in a recent study of college-age Facebook users, “frequency of Facebook use, whether it was for personal status updates or to connect with friends, was not associated with narcissism. Narcissism per se was associated with only one type of Facebook user — those who amassed unrealistically large numbers of Facebook friends.”

Uh-oh, I have almost 1,000 friends on Facebook and most of the comics, writers or actors I know have that much or more. Then maybe Facebook itself isn’t making us narcissistic, but our chosen profession shows it’s already there and Facebook is just an outlet? Does one’s profession make them narcissistic? I don’t consider myself to be that, but then again, I live in LA. Maybe we all are and Facebook just makes it that much more obvious? I don’t know. Maybe even an awareness of the influence of Facebook is enough. Studies seem to show that if you were lonely or narcissistic before Facebook, you’ll still be lonely and narcissistic on it. On the flip side, I do love seeing everyone’s pics and updates. Who knows? I guess it’s a part of life and we learn to live with it. Facebook is here no matter what it’s psychological effects are, and it’s not going anywhere. In fact, if Justin Timberlake has anything to do with it, we’ll have even more pictures and updates on the new Myspace pretty soon. In the meantime, I’ll try to keep any narcissistic personality traits in check.

The Zeros Field Guide

The Ambiguously Gay Guy

A chameleon-like variety of man which causes confusion and frustration in prospective mates; this species tends toward cleanliness, vanity and an inexplicable love of footwear.

See: Ryan Seacrest

The Manslut

[masculus rakehellious]

A feral variety of the male species, known for copulating with a large variety of females. Indigenous to nightclubs, frat houses, and often found in close proximity to reflective surfaces, this nomad is frequently found in packs of other Mansluts. This animal uses its appearance and charms to lure its prey.

Synonyms: Gonorrhea Boy, Mario Lopez or Colin Farrell.

The Verbal Masturbator

[oralivis beat-offitum]

This species spends most of his time with others talking only about himself. Believing his every move is important and must be regaled, and do so, loudly and repeatedly, especially to the woman he believes so lucky to be his date. His unique hearing seems to only be able to discern accolades and the sound of his own voice above everything else.

The Dead Electrician

[disappearaveatum inexplicti]

A rare breed of males that after spending happy, fulfilling, seemingly normal times with a wonderful woman, disappears off the face of the earth and never calls again. Signs of dead electrician disappearing behavior come in coded messages such as ‘I’ll call you later,’ “Let’s make plans for this weekend,” or “I’ll call you Friday when I’m on my way over.”

The Cheapskate

[dutch-treaticus infinitum]

A variety of male that hordes its resources to the detriment of its mate.

The Mirage

[perfectus prevaricatum]

Projects the image of perfection, luring unsuspecting females to the parched dessert of disappointment and despair.

The Big Talker

[bullshitkus perfectus]

An intuitive form of chameleon, this breed can accurately access the needs of potential mates and will verbalize his intentions to meets these needs. He will meet none of these needs.

The “Nice” Guy

[politea blanditus or pleasantillum lacklustericium]

A common species of man that suffers from delusions of nicety as the reason of their inability to secure a mate. Have an inability to admit to their other characteristics such as needy, boring, insecure, socially awkward or bad in bed.

The Virtual Man

[texticus ad nauseus]

The species creates an impression of closeness called a Virtual Relationship through near constant indirect communication. This specifically modern species of man is known for poor grasp of spelling and grammar, and also known for expressing all feelings through emoticons. Anthropologists suspect this genus will, over time, develop engorged thumbs due to excessive texting and may die out do to no actual physical interactions.

The Little Friend

[minusculis shaftivitum]

A species known for their expensive modes of transport, they are endowed with a penis of inadequate size. While this alone does not make them an undesirable potential mate, it doesn’t help. Often this species will attempt to overcompensate their unfortunately small member with an unfortunately large ego.

The Jockstrap

[sporticus obssesum]

The specific male species so obsessed with a sport, their team, their fantasy football league, fantasy baseball league and sports center updates that they have little time for reproduction or even copulation. Experts recognize this species by the excess hot wing consumption and empty pizza boxes littering their female free abodes. Can often be heard from a distance yelling, screaming or cursing their beloved teams.

The Closeted Addict

[bacanalus coverti]

Known for his ability to ingest large amounts of questionable, and often illegal, substances, while giving little indication of this behavior.

Only Dates commented on The Fight Club Rules of Texting --
Haha, loved reading this post! Really funny.

theswexperts.com commented on Everything I’ve Learned From Watching the Last 10 Seasons of The Bachelor/Bachelorette --
I myself started watching it but it makes the contestants look really shallow and the Bachelor/Bachelorette look like a player just so get attention from the women/men.