hey there everyone. i am brand new to this site and all. my name is adam and i live in wisconsin. i am 18 and a father. i am going through **** right now with my ex and babys mom. our son is a month old and she took off two weeks ago and hasnt let me see him since. she is attacking me through the courts with restraining orders up the ____ and the cops came tonight and she stated that our son might not even be mine. i am fighting and trying my hardest from working and every dime penny nickle is going into getting my son back. i just need some advice and friends

It sounds like things have turned hostile very quickly with the situation. My best advice is to get yourself a lawyer. There are two really good reasons for this.

1. You need to defend yourself against some accusations. If she is asking for a restraining order, then she must be accusing you of something. I hope that whatever that is is untrue,but in any case you need legal representation.

2. Obviously things have broken down between the two of you. You need to find out if the child is yours. And, if it is yours, you will need to make support arrangements and will need representation to get rights for visitation with your child. You'll need a lawyer for all of the above.

In the meantime, I would avoid contact with her and watch what you say. Anything you say to her in anger can be turned against you in the event you go to court. You should also be looking at your lifestyle at this point. Do you have a good job, home, stable lifestyle? A judge will be looking at all of these things when determining visitation arrangements.

And stick around here. The folks here have been through all kinds of situtations similar to yours and can be of help to you.

good luck .

__________________
Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. Mother Teresa

thanks alot for the advice, i have been looking for support groups since all this started. its just frustrating that everything is stacked against me. i will hang around and hopefully i can help people out also.

Your very first step, well second after calling an attorney, should be a paternity test. She is the one that called it into question, and it is only fair to both you and the child to make sure right now.

There are also single father support groups - don't know your area- Stick to your guns, whatever you do. Always remember that baby's grow into teenagers. There will come a time when your son will know everything you know. He will judge you both.

Make sure that he is yours before you do anything! I don't know why women do stuff like this.... This is a BABY not a puppy. After you are sure that he is yours, you love him and help her take care of him. Even if you and her get back together, you make sure that if he is yours that you have joint custody in place. Take care-

It sounds like things have turned hostile very quickly with the situation. My best advice is to get yourself a lawyer. There are two really good reasons for this.

1. You need to defend yourself against some accusations. If she is asking for a restraining order, then she must be accusing you of something. I hope that whatever that is is untrue,but in any case you need legal representation.

2. Obviously things have broken down between the two of you. You need to find out if the child is yours. And, if it is yours, you will need to make support arrangements and will need representation to get rights for visitation with your child. You'll need a lawyer for all of the above.

In the meantime, I would avoid contact with her and watch what you say. Anything you say to her in anger can be turned against you in the event you go to court. You should also be looking at your lifestyle at this point. Do you have a good job, home, stable lifestyle? A judge will be looking at all of these things when determining visitation arrangements.

And stick around here. The folks here have been through all kinds of situtations similar to yours and can be of help to you.

good luck .

I think this is very good advice, Good luck. Kudos to you, you are so young. It's nice to see such a young man take his responsibilities so seriously

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