A Brit-expat Mummy, Sunny Dubai and a Blog

Confessions of a Mum

On most occasions, I get this mother-job right. You know I try to be one cool mum by dressing you up in gorgeous outfits, singing along to your favourite nursery rhymesEd Sheeren’s ‘Shape of You’ while splashing around during bath time and taking a million (approximate value) photos of you until my phone can take no more. And you sure are one cool kid yourself. You know your numbers 1 to 10 already, you know when to use your magic words ‘Thank You’ and ‘Sorry’ (‘Please’ in under process), you know how the dog filter on Snapchat works and speak more English than I probably ever did when I was your age. MashAllah.

However, there are moments that are totally-not-cool. Time to confess:

Mummy wishes she didn’t have to hear ‘Old McDonald had a farm’ 15 times during car journey because that’s the only nursery rhyme you like. What’s wrong with ‘Five little ducks’? Sometimes the only reason you will sit in the car seat is if mummy promises to put on ‘Old MacDonald had a farm’.

When you jump off chairs and side tables like some adrenaline junkie, you give mummy a mini-heart attack. Please don’t do that. As much as mummy encourages physical activity, jumping off furniture is not counted.

Thanks to you, mummy has learned to apply her everyday makeup quicker than you could throw a tantrum. It’s a skill that’s helped mummy to get ready before you get a chance to squeeze out the foundation tubes, unscrew the eye liner pencils, dig your fingers into the highlighter palette or …. Like you once did …bite into the contour stick! (the contour stick survived, for those wondering)

You have a set of slippers that you love to wear at home because they make a sound every time you walk in them. Well, guess what? Mummy can’t stand them. With every step, they make a screeching sound, so you can only imagine what happens when you run in them.

Mummy doesn’t like it that there are fights about the blanket. So, when you and mummy decide to co-sleep, mummy likes to snuggle you in the blanket, however you kick your legs and find a way out of the blanket. You even kick the blanket off when you are fast asleep. Dude, how do you know?

Mummy waits eagerly for you to take your afternoon nap on days when she needs to trim your nails. Because mummy knows no other way to get it done. To picture what this nail trimming session looks like, imagine mummy sitting next to a time bomb *hold your breath* that’s ticking away and mummy needs to work with calm, steady hands, even though there is sweat forming across her forehead, and calculate a quick way to diffuse the bomb before the inevitable happens.

Mummy wishes she didn’t always put you in front of You Tube and play nursery rhymes when it’s time to feed you. Mummy wished to interact more with you but sometimes the I-pad is the only way you finish your meal. And you know how obsessed mummy is with your weight story.

But you know what’s totally cool to confess? That I pray over you every night before you go to sleep and ask Allah to watch over you. That I watch you breathing and thank Allah for the little heart beating inside your chest and kiss you good night.