The Henry's Cat of the web shares his thoughts on various matters cultural, scientific, linguistic and philosophical

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Have you ever had an idea so crazy that you thought it might just work?

As I searched for a Champions League Final ticket and was quoted prices between £800 and £3000, I began to think of alternative ways I could get inside the stadium. After contemplating how much I could get for one of my kidneys or whether any of my female friends would consider being sold to an Arabian prince (definitely Clare, if you were wondering), I had a flash of inspiration. Aside from the fans, who else would be in a football stadium? The players themselves of course, and hundreds, if not thousands, of fluorescent jacket wearing stewards.

As I was probably not German enough and definitely not athletic enough to pass myself off as a professional footballer, this option was out of the question. However, a quick search on eBay revealed a number of people offering…