Don Peat, QMI Agency

U.S. comedians have been cracking jokes about Ford almost every night since the crack cocaine scandal exploded onto the world stage just a couple weeks ago.

On Thursday morning, Ford set off another frenzy of comedy writing south of the border less than five minutes after he walked into City Hall.

Ford was fuming at the latest allegations in a police document made public Wednesday and began ranting to reporters — denying the allegation a woman with him the night of his boozy St. Patrick’s Day 2012 party was a prostitute and promising to sue three of his ex-staffers who spoke to police.

Then the mayor of Canada’s largest city — who was being broadcast on live TV and radio — denied he sexually harassed a former mayor’s office staffer.

“(The police document) says I wanted to eat her p----, I’ve never said that in my life to her, I would never do that,” said the furious Ford. “I’m happily married, I’ve got more than enough to eat at home.”

Not surprisingly, Jon Stewart played the video of Ford’s rant on The Daily Show Thursday night.

Ford clips start at about the three-minute mark:

"Do you have children? Because if you do you might want to go right now, wake them up and bring them downstairs and gather them around the television set … this next clip will astonish and amaze you," Stewart said before playing the video.

“Somewhere in a basement through his tears Anthony Weiner is going, ‘What the f---?’” he said.

“Let me beg you sir, let me beg you, Mayor Rob Ford, let that be your last statement. Put down the mic. Make that the last sentence of your entire career in public service because that is what we call in my business a closer.”

Stewart also referenced the allegations detailed in the police document.

“This f---ing guy is a one man episode of COPS,” Stewart joked.

Stephen Colbert also joked about Ford’s Thursday morning comments.

“Wow, is it Valentine’s Day already?” Colbert asked on his show, The Colbert Report. “Kinda makes you nostalgic for the crack, now doesn’t it Toronto?”

He also joked about Ford Motor Co. distancing itself from Ford the mayor.

“Big mistake Ford (Motor Co.), there is no product with more customer loyalty than crack,” Colbert joked.

Colbert pointed out Toronto council voted to ask Ford to take a leave of absence but the action was non-binding.

“Under Canadian law the only ones with the power to arrest the mayor are the Queen and Wayne Gretzky,” he said.

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon also made jokes at Ford’s expense Thursday night.