An American walks into an Irish pub and says, "I'll give anyone $100 if they can drink 10 Guinness's in 10 minutes." Most people just ignore the absurd bet and go back to their conversations. One guy even leaves the bar. A little while later that guy comes back and asks the American, "Is that bet still on?" "Sure." So the bartender lines 10 Guinness's up on the bar the Irishman drinks them all in less than 10 minutes. As the American hands over the money he asks, "Where did you go when you just left?" The Irishman answers, "I went next door to the other pub to see if I could do it."

It was pretty late and the barkeep came up to him to tell him that the bar was closing. So Paddy stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand up one more time with the same result. So he figured he'd just crawl outside, hang out for a while, get some fresh air and hopefully that would sober him up.

Once outside he stood up and fell again right on his face. So he decided to crawl the 4 blocks to his home and when he arrived at the door he tried one more time with the same results.

Exhausted, he then gave up and started crawling to the bedroom.

When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright but he quickly fell right into the bed and fell sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. The next morning, he woke up with his wife standing over him shouting at him.

Fisherman's WormHaving arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm. Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beer down his throat and went about his fishing. An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pant leg. Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms in his mouth…

The owner of the drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall.

The owner asks the blonde sales girl: 'What's with the guy over there by the wall?'

The blonde responds: 'Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough.I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative' The owner, wide-eyed and excited shouts: 'You idiot! You can't treat a cough with a bottle of laxatives!'The blonde calmly responds: 'Of course you can!, Look at him, he's afraid to cough.'

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The Scots of course insist that the pipes produce music. But the point is after all not too important. For those who love them, the pipes can evoke more vividly than any other instrument, high emotion, they can inspire valor, and tell of tragic tales of battles long ago. They can call forth merriment or sentiment. It does not matter what the sound is called, those who are deaf to its merits would not understand anyway.