Send me email updates about messages I've received
on the site and the latest news from The CafeMom Team.By signing up, you certify that
you are female and accept the Terms of Service and have read the
Privacy Policy.

I don't feel it's cheating or a step towards cheating as long as I'm still involved. If my SO and I have a healthy sexual relationship and he looks at porn every now and then who cares. But if it becomes a constant habit and he doesn't want any real interaction I would have to worry

My hubby looks at porn sometimes. I think it's wrong, disgusting and gross. It doesn't "feel" like cheating when he looks at it, but God says it is--so it is. It doesn't make me feel betrayed,insecure,or any of the other things I've heard other women describe. Maybe if he was addicted to it or if he rejected me or...

No, not at all. I see nothing wrong with porn and have a collection that could shame most men I know... I don't think it's cheating or anywhere close to cheating. Cheating requires a connection between two people and an attempt to hide ones actions out of shame. There is no connection between someone and the screen and if you're shaming someone in to hiding the fact that they watch porn there is more wrong with you than with them... When you have sex, your brain produces chemicals and hormones that make you feel good. When one watches Porn there are similar releases of Chemicals - yet there is no reason to fear betrayal, disease or pregnancy. For couples who aren't "open" in their relationship, porn is the ideal alternative for which ever partner has the higher sex drive. Why force one partner to go without simple because the other isn't interested? And visa versa?? Porn can, and does save marriages - infidelity never does!

Jesus said that if you even look at a woman with lust you have committed adultery with her in your heart. So watching porn is cheating. However you can't commit adultery with your wife and everything between a husband and wife in the marriage bed is Holy. DH and I have made quite a few movies and we have alot of fun with it costumes and all :) Being a Christian does not mean that you and your DH have to have boring sex. It's quite the contrary we fulfill all of our sexual desires with only eachother it makes our bond stronger and there is no need to go against God and hurting eachother in doing so.

Answer by
Anonymous
at 5:22 PM on Mar. 21, 2010

Just becasue a person watches porn does not meant they are "lusting" after those in it.