Your Blogging Staff

Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.

September 30, 2004

ATTENTION, FUN-LOVERS WITH REALLY GOOD MEDICAL INSURANCE

UPDATE

Ridley and I have -- Don't tell anybody! -- managed to escape from the book tour. I'm now back home, and the good news is that, incredibly, there is no hurricane approaching. The bad news is, there is a presidential debate approaching. We have purchased canned food, and I am firing up the generator.

BOOK TOUR UPDATE: SOMEWHERE IN WISCONSIN

ARRRRR

As you can see in this photo taken by our exclusive CrapCam,
many pirates showed up last night in Portland. I am standing next to the legendary John "Ol' Chumbucket" Baur, co-founder of International Talk Like a Pirate Day. And, yes, there WERE little blue spots everywhere.

September 24, 2004

BOOK TOUR UPDATE, ME HEARTIES

Ridley and I are in Portland, Ore., today. We chose it because (a) it's a nice town, and (b) we're reasonably confident that a hurricane will not come here. Also we have reason to believe that our event tonight may be attended by Mr. John "Ol' Chumbucket" Baur, one of the co-creators of International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Ridley and I are very excited and plan to wear our formal eyepatches.

THINK ABOUT IT

YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHO IS STAYING AT OUR HOTEL IN BEVERLY HILLS

There are security people everywhere, and police outside, and they keep closing the elevators, so I asked a hotel employee who the VIP was, and he said, quote, "I think it's some king from some place."

CREEPING FASCISM UPDATE

September 20, 2004

BOOK TOUR UPDATE

This evening we're moseying out of Seattle and on to Phoenix. We thank all the buccaneers and buccanettes who made this tour stop memorable, and wish to report for the record that pirate toilet paper only has the Jolly Roger on the outside wrapper.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRR

September 19, 2004

MORE PIRATES

In addition to the blog-related pirates, the people pictured above appeared at the booksigning driving a Dodge van that had been converted to a pirate ship. They had swords AND a cannon, so we did whatever they said.

BOOK-TOUR LIKE A PIRATE UPDATE

A lusty crew of buccaneer blogpersons came to our booksigning today and gave us some valuable pirate items, including Jolly Roger toilet paper. Ridley and I were deeply touched, as you can see in this high-quality photo.