Jeff Goldblum Worship At An All Time High

Art is a lot like women. Both are great to stare at, but when you try to understand them you’re welcomed into a world of confusion. So if you don’t want to come off as some low-brow layman, a randomly erected statue of Jeff Goldblum with bare chest and exposed nip in London should be admired, not questioned. Honestly how did you think the British were going to outdo inflatable Trump baby? Naturally a giant statue of Jeff was next in a land where jellied eels are casually eaten in accompany with meat pies. Not peculiar at all.

Jeff Goldblum is huge in London, apparently. The actor now has a 25-foot bare-chested statue in his likeness next to London’s iconic Tower Bridge. The statue was placed there on Wednesday to celebrate the 25th anniversary of “Jurassic Park.”

Now TV, owned by Sky, is behind the giant statue, which depicts Goldblum with his shirt wide open, reclining in a sultry pose from a memorable scene in the movie. It’s an odd tribute, considering “Jurassic Park” has no connection to London or the Tower Bridge, but it’s one that’s gone viral.

The draw of Jurassic Park was the dinosaurs, a 25-foot tall statue of Goldblum doesn’t make sense when you think too long about it. But the same can be said for Iggy Azalea’s rear end. So does the enigmatic shape of her cheeks automatically qualify her ass as abstract art also fit for advertisement? I need some answers. It would be great if someone at the Guggenheim could get back to me on that. Just hold off on building a giant replica of her hind parts just yet as I can imagine anyone who sees an outdoor exhibit of Iggy’s icky ass without context would be inspired to projectile vomit at such a sight.