(06-02-2012 01:43 PM)slubu Wrote: Day 22. Almost caved yesterday. So far, I can't tell if it's this or something else, but I've been attracting the hottest girls of my life. On the flip side, I've been having more difficulty in closing the deal. Not sure how much of this relates.

It gets way worse when you have a break in action from regular girls. I'm on a voluntary dry streak of sorts, in that I have 2 girls in rotation but keep avoiding them to try and get new and fresh.

Damn! I would be on day 20 something but I cracked a few times since this post went up.

I didnt masturbate for like 2 weeks, then before yesterday, i was watching this new porn and i had to masturbate. Yesterday i go to my local restaurant and this dude was troubling this woman, i was just thinking how lucky this motherfucker was, if he caught me a day before, i would literally destroy him, i still gave him a verbal lil threat but i just feel mad weak when i masturbate to the point where i have to avoid a fight.

I really need to stop this shit for good.

06-03-2012 04:53 AM

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(06-03-2012 03:55 AM)Rurik Wrote: There's no problem to whacking off twice a day, honestly. Once every two days seems reasonable, anything longer is just stupid. Waiting three days to bust?

This just goes to show how irrational dudes get on the "inner game" shit. Most of your problems are external. Sorry to bust your nut bubble.

It has a lot to do with motivation. Some thing happens to me when I bang a new a girl, for a few weeks afterwards I am somewhat lazy about getting new girls. I also find this effect if not abstaining. If I abstain for a while, it literally forces me to act, and my moves are much stronger as a result because of the massive desire to get laid. Nothing irrational about it. I'm not sure what 'inner game' is.

I tried reviewing the literature on masturbation and testosterone levels, and couldn't find research on masturbation lowering T.

However, masturbation using visual porn can be dangerous. So many stories on kids going from normal porn (man-woman or girl-on-girl) to weirder porn (bukkake, double penetration) to messed up porn (she-male, need I say more) just to get the same novelty kick.

Look around you. Tons of guys opting out of the dating scene altogether, definitely made possible by the sexual escape porn offers. Short term gratification enabling to avoid finding mates in real life. It is like fat people caving and, despite knowing they will feel depressed later on, going for the sweetness of the soda and cookies.

Fortunately, I don't experience it like that at all. I watch rather vanilla porn and those preferences barely change.

But:

I have less drive. Releasing your energy using porn is a waste, it's better to channel it towards productive goals. Also you become more visual when with girls. Sex with the lights on is great but it should be just as easy in the dark. Less visual and more physical.

Having gone for a week before (fucking hard to do) I felt a lot more alive, energetic and animalistic. Girls notice it. You notice girls more. You want it. The annoying thing indeed is not being able to fall asleep, having a boner way easily, and being to focussed on each ass walking by when you wanna study.

The solution to that hunger should not be porn; that would be numbing your desires, for what? Your drive is what gives you a goal. It is the motivation. Porn is walking away, preventing the drive. The solution is getting what the drive is signaling: sex. The urge to breath means you should inhale air. Do the same here. Be productive in school, at work, in the gym, with girls. Your hunger is your power as a man.

I tried reviewing the literature on masturbation and testosterone levels, and couldn't find research on masturbation lowering T.

However, masturbation using visual porn can be dangerous. So many stories on kids going from normal porn (man-woman or girl-on-girl) to weirder porn (bukkake, double penetration) to messed up porn (she-male, need I say more) just to get the same novelty kick.

Look around you. Tons of guys opting out of the dating scene altogether, definitely made possible by the sexual escape porn offers. Short term gratification enabling to avoid finding mates in real life. It is like fat people caving and, despite knowing they will feel depressed later on, going for the sweetness of the soda and cookies.

Fortunately, I don't experience it like that at all. I watch rather vanilla porn and those preferences barely change.

But:

I have less drive. I am hyperfocussed on sex and eleviate by fapping. The drive, the hunger, is gone and I feel a bit depressed and weak. I always fuck with the lights on, no blankets. I often have to look at the fucking to come. That is a result from porn, without a doubt.

Having gone for a week before (fucking hard to do) I felt a lot more alive, energetic and animalistic. Girls notice it. You notice girls more. You want it. The annoying thing indeed is not being able to fall asleep, having a boner way easily, and being to focussed on each ass walking by when you wanna study.

The solution to that hunger should not be porn; that would be numbing your desires, for what? Your drive is what gives you a goal. It is the motivation. Porn is walking away, preventing the drive. The solution is getting what the drive is signaling: sex. The urge to breath means you should inhale air. Do the same here. Be productive in school, at work, in the gym, with girls. Your hunger is your power as a man.

I disagree on damn near every point you just made.

For one thing, what's wrong with double penetration? haha. I mean, I'm not averse to even tag-teaming a girl in real life, let alone seeing this happen.

Likewise, the entire assumption of this "no whacking off" school of thought is that HORNINESS=GETTING GIRLS.

Also, I think this fear-mongering is done by christians who manipulate scientific data to further their religious aims. I don't see much truth to the "gateway porn" hypothesis, that it turns you into some shemale-fucking homo. I basically have porn addiction and haven't changed my viewing habits much at all in terms of genre

You should take with a grain of salt EVERY scientific article you read that is condensed in mainstream news outlets. The people who write these paraphrase the nuances of actual studies. They then hype up preliminary findings and discard all caveats for big headlines.

Anytime a person cant keep themselves from doing something every day or 2 it is a fuckin problem. If you cant sleep without fapping first then its definitely a fuckin. problem. The hormone change in your body can absolutely become addicting.

It became a habit for me in the military when there were 10 dudes chasing every fat girl. After a while it had taken away a lot of my motivation to talk to women... I just lost the energy to go hit on some girl I probably couldn't stand anyway. It's a cycle... boredom leads to fapping and then fapping leads to more boredom with the lazy relaxed feeling you get. Not to mention the extreme level of the fetishes increase greatly and I think that is where the problems start when it comes to fucking. I never had any issues until the fetishes became weird.

All it really takes for me is getting off my ass and doing something... Coffee shop, problem solved. If I ever start beating it in the corner of Starbucks I will then resort to hookers, I promise.

I think there are two levels of severity: Guys who jerk off so much that can't enjoy/have sex and guys who jerk off so much they lose significant motivation to approach and escalate with women.

The first group is guys who have ED because of porn. I'm not in this group, but it seems like plenty of guys in their 20s have this problem. Honestly, I suspect that a big problem with these guys is their wives or girlfriends are like 5 notches below the 10s they watch on porn. I would have trouble getting it up too.

I hope nobody is confusing the first group with the second. Even if I'm jerking multiple times a day, I have no problem whatsoever getting it up for a real girl. This isn't the problem. The immense amount of effort required to approach, attract, escalate, deal with flakes, bullshit, etc. that it takes to get an attractive women in bed versus opening a browser is the problem. I put fapping on the same plane as having a fuckbuddy below the level of girls who you want to approach. In both cases you're complacent with something just too damn easy.

I still don't get the hate from some people on these threads. Whatever reason you have to believe that abstaining or limiting masturbation/porn does not correlate at all with success with women, I don't understand how you can deny all of the positive anecdotal evidence and scientific theory (YBOP) all over the net for OTHER PEOPLE. It seems like a topic very relevant of discussion in a forum which deals with interactions with women.

Somebody above stated that horniness doesn't equate with laying women, and I think that's either very true or very false.

According to most polls on the forum I'm probably better than average (though maybe not the mean) on girls in my lifetime. I'd say 90% of them came up to me or I was so blackout that I didn't know their names or see them til the morning. My issue is motivation and escalation. If I'm horny, I'm much more opt to do these things. The hornier the better.

I've been called aloof before but never creepy. I get IOIs out of the woodwork and don't notice it most of the time (I have guy friends of mine shaking their heads). This is why I'm somebody who can really use the extra horniess.

I think I'm in a relatively small subset of indifferent/aloof guys who really benefits from resisting as much as possible.

My current FB always ruins things as well. I'll be on day 4 or 5, when is when things start ramping up. I fuck her, get the chaser effect, figure I already ruined it, and will go to the fap-factory all day the next day.

(06-04-2012 01:13 PM)_DC_ Wrote: The immense amount of effort required to approach, attract, escalate, deal with flakes, bullshit, etc. that it takes to get an attractive women in bed versus opening a browser is the problem. I put fapping on the same plane as having a fuckbuddy below the level of girls who you want to approach. In both cases you're complacent with something just too damn easy.

Exactly.

I'm on day 5. Have a date tonight. If I get her home, I think I'm gonna nut in <2 minutes.

(06-05-2012 04:28 PM)assman Wrote: I'm on day 5. Have a date tonight. If I get her home, I think I'm gonna nut in <2 minutes.

Surprisingly, I didn't nut quickly at all. Probably because she was fairly loose and dripping wet. Will have to see how it goes with a tighter pussy. So far, I'm liking the extra edge that no fapping provides, though I've done plenty of edging in the past few days, so that may be adding to it.

(06-05-2012 04:28 PM)assman Wrote: I'm on day 5. Have a date tonight. If I get her home, I think I'm gonna nut in <2 minutes.

Surprisingly, I didn't nut quickly at all. Probably because she was fairly loose and dripping wet. Will have to see how it goes with a tighter pussy. So far, I'm liking the extra edge that no fapping provides, though I've done plenty of edging in the past few days, so that may be adding to it.

If I go that long, even if I insta-nut, I can just keep going, like it never happened.

So I'm all for the nofap, as it's a worthwhile endeavor to learn about yourself... and I tackled it for about 3-4 months on and off.

Unless you are truly addicted, in the traditional sense, to porn/masturbation, then you should probably not do the whole day-counting thing. It's unnecessary stress for someone who doesn't really need the rehab.

I found that A) masturbating without porn and B) making sure I actually had a boner BEFORE beginning the fap was enough to mediate myself. You'll find that, if you masturbate often, you aren't actually hard before you begin. This is your brain just seeking a quick fix. If you are actually raging hard, go step in the shower and let loose.

The primary issue is the porn. It's a totally unnatural, super-stimulus. It's like how modern processed foods are loaded with fats, salts, and sugars in order to make you inhale them -- there's a saying like "If you're not interested in eating an apple, you aren't hungry."

I actually used a lot of porn last week, being bedridden from some painful bullshit and this week I've been more "in my head" and depressed than in the past 2 months. It's a strikingly noticeable difference. This happens every time I watch porn too often -- I.E. it's an observable repeatable experiment. SCIENCE MUTHER FUCKERS. This DOESN'T happen when I follow my rules of A) no porn and B) boner or leave it alone... r

TL;DR: No porn. Fap only when you have a boner. Most of you aren't actually addicted.

I see a lot of validity in abstaining from spanking the monkey. I know as a young man (years ago) I had a hard time busting the nut while rogering. Took me years to get it right. And this was before the Internet.

Day 27. My previous results are just being exaggerated. My ability to attract girls and especially higher quality ones has skyrocketed, though it could just be random luck. My conversational and flirting skills are the best they've been. But my closing skills have gone to shit. I have no idea why. This is very frustrating. I've now had several girls out on dates/back at my place and can't close, whereas before closing was my easiest part.

(06-07-2012 10:28 AM)slubu Wrote: Day 27. My previous results are just being exaggerated. My ability to attract girls and especially higher quality ones has skyrocketed, though it could just be random luck. My conversational and flirting skills are the best they've been. But my closing skills have gone to shit. I have no idea why. This is very frustrating. I've now had several girls out on dates/back at my place and can't close, whereas before closing was my easiest part.

Yeah that's very strange. Once they're back at your house it should be GO time.

Wow, day 27! Much further than I've ever gone. I'm halfway through day 4 and don't feel much different. Day 5 is always when the hammer comes down (in a good way).

I did 32 days and it was great. I had much more focus, was much more social, less nervous in public, and the best thing is, setbacks didn't make me nearly as down on myself as before. I recovered from things really quickly, something I'm not used to doing. Normally I really dwell on things. I'm not a naturally happy person, but refraining from masturbating and watching porn helped improve things a lot.

The first 3 days and the second week are the hardest, but if you keep yourself busy and just force yourself not to fap before upon waking you'll be able to get through it.

Honestly the key is staying busy. If you're busy you only have time for a few urges. If you get bored, and you're at home, that's when it's easy to slip.