Sunday, November 16, 2008

FUN MONDAY - Meaning of Life

Our Assignment: to show that pice of jewelry or other item that hold great personal significance for you, and that your wear or keep with you every day. Show us a photo of your talisman, and tell us why it is so important to you.

Hints: Your talisman could be your wedding ring…or your lack thereof! Maybe it’s a bracelet or watch that belonged to a beloved relative or friend. Perhaps your item is significant in your faith, if you are of a religious persuasion, or maybe it is a proud symbol of your ethnicity. Maybe it’s something silly, that makes you smile every time you look at it! Maybe your talisman is actually part of you - perhaps you got a tattoo to mark a significant event in your life. I’m also thinking about our recent observation of Veterans’ Day here in the USA: Perhaps you have a loved one who is far away - in the military or otherwise - and you carry a memento of him or her with you every day.

Disclaimer: Please, let’s keep the photos and stories family-friendly. In other words, I do NOT want to see that piercing or tattoo you-know-where :-) Sorry, but them’s the rules!

Well I do have a couple of tattoos but they are not you-know-where, but on my left side

Now the first one was a very small hand made tattoo. When I was very young I believed with my whole heart that I had met my sole mate. I felt complete when we where together and as if some thing was missing when we were not. So one evening out around the camp fire sharing a bottle we became betrothed. I have allergy to most metal and a little ring did not fit our lifestyles so we gave each other a tattoo. A small lizard mine on my left side close to heart and my fiancé on the right to protect and love. Beside when we cuddled the two little lizards would be together. Now that explains the first tattoo.

Well as fates would have it my love passed away far from me doing what he enjoyed as I finished my college education. For a long time I want to do nothing more than to die. I had serious thought of suicide, but I could think of no way that I would not leave a body for someone else to clean up or a way that would not hurt those who loved me. I made some bad decisions, but I was fortunate enough to have some good friends and family who where there for me, be it three in the morning or dinner time with their family.

Time pasted and I grew, I knew that I would never again be able to give myself completely to someone else. Some may see this as a flaw and it may well be but it is the only way I could survive . It is not that I can not or do not love it is just a can not give myself completely again. It was time for me to move on with my life, so time to cove-up my little lizard. So I now have a little lizard that cover my other little lizard, for you see in my heritage the lizard with it sun-seeking habit is a symbolizes the soul’s search for awareness.

Now I’m not sure how but I seam to have a little collection of lizards, there are the two on my side, and I have a number of pins, and there is a bottle opener lizard on my key chain. They remind me that I still have work to do for enlightment or awarness or to walk in Christ what ever you would like to say.

Now that you have my sad story head over to Misformisanthrope and check out the rest this weeks Fun Monday participates.

16 comments:

I've heard your story before, but it still touches me to hear it again. Never give up...keep searching...don't forget, but don't let it hold you back, either. You know I love you and always want the best for you.

I'm sure you're glad to have--at least once in your young life--found a true soulmate. what I get out of your story is that the lizard symbolizes both love and hope for the future. An excellent reminder to have with you always.

Oh wow...what a sad, but beautiful story. I cannot imagine losing my husband (soulmate). I would hope that like you, I would go on if I lost him, but I also would have a very difficult time giving myself so completely again. Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful story!