Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Nothing happened but still i felt sad, for no reason,i just sat there silently, I stared at people and gave a lost look and they let me be,Thank god for that. And same me was laughing and was seen having fun with a set of students and the people stared at me, and they let me be:)

Yesterday i thought i won't be writing my blog anymore, i was sure!! at that moment, Today i am just typing away:)

Day before i had a dream that i died,i woke up and could n sleep, Husband assured that i won't let him live in peace so easily,so asked me to forget the dream. I am planning to write a will and leave everything to my Dogs:)

I suddenly remembered a moment of my childhood,in flashes, just like that, of a night when we slept on the terrace, counting the stars, there was a power cut and my brother let me sing, and he made me repeatedly sing " lakdi ki kaati, kaati pe ghoda.." Dad sang "Ek akela is shehar mein..." his favorite song, and later it was never sung in this house, never.

That makes me remember, that song, bittergourd, paintings, good hand writings and poetry and music..... Never discussed in my house without remembering dad {with bitterness probably}

I promised myself that i won't take a leave or go late to college and neither will i request for a permission to leave early....Its fairly easy to follow i realised and i wonder why din't i get the idea last year itself:)

I asked him a choice about dinner.."Do you want to have kichdi or Aloo puri or curd rice " and he said "your wish" I made all the three. Don't make faces over the choice, He had to eat everything and say it all tasted great:)

Met someone in the train recently, all four of us hit of so easily and went on talking the whole night, while leaving we all took eachothers mail ids and promised to write a mail soon!!!I never got one and i never wrote one either, a few journeys, people and dreams are like that,You meet, share a smile, talk,remember for a while and walk off and forget..

I am listening to "Ek hi kwaab kahiin baar dekha maine.." I don't know, it took me three hours to complete the post, i started with a smile,in these three hours i spoke on phone, i met people who knocked the door, terribly disappointed with the workmanship of the carpenter, almost in a rage for the loss and had tears for the designs which i wanted and the reality which it all ended up into. Sometimes, dreams-reality don't coincide or is it always like this only and its only now that i realised?

Well,end of the day,its just time to wind up and go sleep,drift away into the dreamland and it just came to me in flashes again, but crystal clear........

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

"TAG" I don't like the word frankly:) Nope, not on this blog, in four years of blogging i did just two tags, and i am tagged yet another time and i dint frown for this one. When i read a post about this at Asuph's blog i mentally started making a list, i felt bad that he dint tag anyone and that no one will even notice it but someone else had ideas and here i am, making a list of atleast five things which changed because of "S" {Atul, my significant other is also S,And i completed this tag in a record breaking time of one day:)))))}

Forgiving people. Yes, now i go back and talk to people who hurt me if they realize what they did, I learnt from S that life is too short to have a grudge forever, But yes, there are limitations here too, he is no saint to forgive everyone, but he is the one who taught me to just forget and move on or forgive and smile again at people who hurt.

Now i know the meaning of "Waiting for the right moment" I now wait, i don't blabber away right away but wait for the right time and an appropriate situation to make my point clear.

Patience- I now have 50% more of it now that i stay with a man who can drive me nuts at times with his ways of living and ideas but i learnt to live with it all, Well, he did the same, so we both benefited.

Colors, I started using colors which i never looked at before, I now have shades of green, brown, black and blue in my wardrobe.

I started appreciating Telugu movies and watch more comedy movies and laugh at some silly jokes without becoming the moral police all the time:)

I eat loads of fruits, thanks to him, my hemoglobin is a record high of 11% after almost 10 years.

I learnt to appreciate life as it is, not to worry about tomorrow and ruin my today. Most of all,i started living all again.

One important aspect i learnt is that everyone in this world is special and great in their own way, They all have their own talents and specialties and its up to us to look around and know about it,So now i don't just ignore this aspect.

I wont say i stopped it all but i judge people a little less:)

And now i know that its all not white and black to what you see in life, there are Grey shades too.And that it wont help to walk straight always, you need to take a different path when needed:)

Well,that's about it, {In fact S would have done a better job i guess,hahaha) and now its time to tag people,bhuhahahaha, I love this part. My list...

According to Atul...."here are the tag rules: Write about the changes that have happened in your life, at least five, because of your significant other. Then Tag five others. If they don’t have a significant other, then any one person, who has caused the change. Please don’t leave the tag alone in the wild.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Started adapting to Bangalore, slowly finding my way, getting familiar and enjoying it too. But the idea of going to Hyderabad still makes me all emotional.I know in this age where people travel from north pole to south pole i am stuck between two neighboring cities and still feel all emotional:) but don't we all come in different shapes and sizes.

If School gave a sense of security and familiarity college life gave wings to fly.School was about innocence and college taught me to be smart.If i discovered a world in school i learnt how to live in that world through the college life, all of it happened in the city i love the most, If the defence school was fun and discipline so were the friends.My first college was in Nampally and it was the first time i got to travel in bus daily, new dresses were made,new hand bag and sandal from liberty where bought and that's when i realized that i no longer will wear a school uniform and white shoes and red ribbons every day:) and i was handed over to a girl who studied Degree in same college and there started a journey of discovering the city, scared, shy to talk to strangers and silent most of the times i slowly learnt to be independent through this journey,i remember the first day of college where my classes got over by 12pm but waited for the other girl till 4 because i dint know where the bus stop is and was scared to ask a stranger. learnt to get into buses at signals, push and rush into the bus and get hold of a seat for me and for friends too.Friends, classes, movies, panipuri and flirting, all happened in high doses during this phase of inter to under graduate. Swati tiffin center was our adda and i always ordered chole batura there, and near by sultan bazaar made me always dream of a future when i will have loads of money and buy every dress hanging there in shops:)If graduation is fun then post grad is responsibility, its about time to learn to be professional and being a management student i did everything to prove myself, campus life is altogether a beautiful exp, getting photocopies, those library hours and then rushing to libraries for reference and sharing lunch boxes with friends and sitting in the garden till 6 in the evening and then rushing for the classes for another course and ultimately reaching home at 10pm in the last bus, amma waits in the bus stand, we walked back through the dark deserted lanes in rainy season while i used to tell her about my daily adventures.

My most fun and beautiful phase is 6yrs of teaching in a college with a 50acre campus and there we were,three in one friends:) we traveled triples from Koti to Tarnaka in rain, ate panipuri as if there is no tomorrow at shivam, went to Lorven to buy loads of gifts, Did crazy things like sitting on the pavement at the ever busy tarnaka flyover to just laugh at a guy who was staring at us, stayed at each others house and all night dancing and singing and our mutual love for Veg fried rice and paneer saw us finding some good and lot of weird places to gorge up on chinese food and we seriously saw some wierd movies together which were senti and emotional and we three laughed it all for 3hrs and one such evening,we hunted down a cake shop at 10pm when he almost was closing it and bought a cake, traveled triples at 11pm,reached home,went for a walk with two dogs in toe and cut a cake at 1am to celebrate Christmas and sang carols and at 4am again went for a walk,sang all sorts of songs and slept at 6am.Life was good with all of them, friends, family and the job, don't forget my two Dogs, and then....And then marriage happened. One by one and we all parted ways, in the way we lived to the style to the smiles and to the fun, everything changed.......This is another phase.albeit a new city but then such is life, Yet another place and phase and personality to discover.