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Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Apparently my computer was cranky yesterday as well, so this didn't get posted... this was supposed to get posted yesterday afternoon...

The past week or so have been an emotional roller coaster. I was somewhat like this before my trial stimulator implant, so I attribute it to nerves. But, it's been a lot worse this go-round (i.e., leading up to the permanent stimulator implant). I've been on edge, irritable, moody, crying for no reason, etc... It can all pretty much be summed up one word: ANXIETY. But, that all changed in an instant today...

I'm not sure exactly how to express what I'm feeling right now... I'm in shock, angry, frustrated, upset, disappointed, defeated, and worn down. My procedure/surgery to get the permanent stimulator implanted has now been POSTPONED because the insurance company has been dragging its feet in approving the authorization request for the procedure. AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I just want to scream... and cry...

So, the insurance company is supposed to make a decision about the authorization request this Friday, at which time we'll set up a date/time to have the procedure done... right before Thanksgiving, when my doctor is going to be on vacation for a week... excellent! So, I'm left, once again, with more PAIN, ANXIETY, and WAITING.

I rode down here to Texas yesterday with my in-laws to be here for the procedure and recovery process. Don't get me wrong, I love to visit family. But, if I'm just going to be here waiting for a few weeks, I'd like to be home with my husband and my normal surroundings. What really drives me crazy is that my parents and husband were planning to take off work for this, we had to last-minute cancel my husband's flight down here... and now, all of this is CANCELLED / POSTPONED. I'm used to my migraines changing and affecting MY life (and even, to some extent, my husband's) to where we can't really plan and stuff, but now it's spreading to where it's affecting my other family members' lives?! What the heck?! I HATE THIS!!!

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