This may well be, as some have claimed, the “Second Golden Age of Television” bestowing serialized fiction with a level of public favor and attention it hasn’t enjoyed since Dickens’ day. But, just as China stands poised to pick up the burning embers of our economy, possibly for use in a fireworks display, Japan seems likely to inherit the mantle of cultural arbiters.

Based on little else besides the fact that while Japan is responsible for some of the sickest, most depraved and most diverse1 pornography your feeble mind could ever fathom, they only recently got over their centuries-long hangup with pubic hair, it’s safe to assume the land of the rising sun is one of contrasts.

Assuming it was our nukes, it’s possible there was at least one good thing to come out of it. Common among the Japanese and Chinese is a mutated gene that produces an enzyme necessary to metabolize alcohol. This mutation leads to a quick build up of an alcohol byproduct, meaning the onset of a “hangover” occurs after just one or two drinks.

This presents another contrast because, while depriving the nation of the joys of a magical elixir, which numbs you to the horror of modern existence at the small cost of some years off your life, a life which would hardly be worth living without your sweet, sweet medicine, it also shields them from the ravages of alcoholism.