As we’ve just seen, with the raising of the school leaving age, the government loves to inflate its figures via sneaky back doors in newly introduced legislation, a method more commonly known as “spin”, or “cheating”, or “wrong”.

However, the figures likely to arise thanks to the forthcoming “Gambling Act” are going to make even the whizziest of Labour’s spinners a bit dizzy.

The act, which sanctions the building of 5,000 square-metre super-casinos, relaxes the rules of casino entry and lifts the restrictions on television advertising for casinos, bingo halls and betting shops, is due to come into force towards the end of this year. This is prompting concerns from the British Medical Association that it will add to the already growing number of around 300,000 gambling addicts in the UK.

The BMA report warns that women will be particularly at risk as the gambling industry becomes more “female friendly” and suggests that local health authorities should each stump up at least £250,000 a year to employ addiction counsellors qualified to deal with the problem.

We can only hope that, once society has degenerated into a casino going, fruit machine playing, gambling obsessed stupor, this will all be covered by a “Therapy Tax” levied on every bet.

We called a local GP to get an independent opinion on the problem but sadly he was unable to talk to us as he was on the phone to his bookie.

I hope these Super Casino’s have in house credit facilities for people who have had trouble finding credit, as well as in house no-win no-fee lawyers. Make it a one-stop shop for the fiscally irresponsible.

Anyway what the hell do doctors know about gambling addiction ? they should stick to removing pots and pans from toddlers heads and keep their opinions to themselves.

If I want to know about gambling addicts I’ll ask a bookie, at least they have the decency to talk to the addicts every day, not make them wait 3 weeks for an appointment, force them to sit in a room full of sick children and then only spend 10 minutes with them.