Thursday, March 24, 2016

Another Hope Dashed

No secret that the Republicans are in a jam - truly deep kimchee. It's gotten to the point where even Mitt Romney and Jeb Bush are swallowing Xanax by the handful in order to endorse Ted Cruz for their party's nomination. Their suffering is almost unbearable to watch.

That got me to thinking about how to rescue the Republicans from themselves. Then it dawned on me. How about this for a ticket?

Natural-born Cheech for president, Chong for veep. Damn! It turns out that the US Constitution restricts both slots to natural-born Americans. Sort of rules out Vancouver-born Tommy Chong.

Okay, I'm tapped out. Your turn. Who would you suggest for the Republican ticket? Remember, be creative.

They probably need to be Republicans and I can't imagine that Cheech and Chong would ever admit that.

I think they should draft Governor Sam Brownback of Kansas with Bobby Jindal as his veep. Both true conservatives who have ably demonstrated the ability to fuck up a two car funeral, together they'd be the dream team of the 27%.

Stephen Colbert and Samantha Bee. He is a natural-born American with impeccable conservative credentials. Oh sure it was satire but honestly, how can you tell? And she would be perfect to confuse all those wild-eyed feminists who plan to vote for the former First Lady.