SUSAN BOYLE | I DREAMED A DREAM [Sony] | We all knew that the charm of a frumpy, Python-esque pepperpot defying expectations by belting out show tunes with the voice of an underdog angel could last only so long. Well, here's the exact moment when the novelty is lost: she's made it. She led the life of a loveless shut-in, she won the world's heart, she lost the big contest and nearly lost her mind, and finally she's triumphed with the most pre-ordered album in Amazon's history. Her story arc is complete. Now, she's just another middling talent with a pleasant set of pipes and no gift for pop interpretation — even if she moved you to tears with that first appearance, I dare you to sit through her stagy, overwrought bungle of "Wild Horses" without emitting a groan.

THE BIG HURT: DIVING IN THE PR DUMPSTER | February 26, 2013 I've been dumpster diving in the PR bin, the rankest receptacle of music industry waste, and I've come up with a dripping fistful of the month's hottest garbage.

THE BIG HURT: LEANIN' WITH BIEBS | February 20, 2013 Bieber was allegedly photographed sipping something from a double Styrofoam cup, in close proximity to a big bottle of codeine cough syrup. This can only add up to one thing: lean . That purple drank, the laudanum of Screw, the deadly nectar of Pimp C.