Establishing Friends In High Places

run the show

If you find a way to be successful, your sole problem will be to keep people away from you. That's why a geek like Bill Gates laughs his heart out when he remembers the football jock that used to snub him in high school. Open a hotel, operate an exclusive club, run an airline company, or become a producer, and people will be more than happy to offer you premium tickets for boxing matches or basketball games just to chat with you.

If you run the show and open an exclusive restaurant, the finance moguls will beg you to let them in. While you should enjoy your power, use it graciously. The fact that it stemmed from obscurity may add to your mysticism.

last resort

When the occasion arises, there is nothing easier than marrying royalty. This is a common but difficult way to join the ranks of the rich and powerful. In order to catch the eye of the paparazzi until the day you die, you should hang around Cannes, Monaco or the slopes of any French ski resort and give your first royal French kiss in front of the world press.

The only drag in the pursuit of a lonely princess is the outrageous amount of money you will need to maintain her standard of living. You will need to get invited to parties, drive a fast car and look like a modern Greek god.

the political circus

Political parties can also aid people who are looking to climb up the ladder of success. They are open to everyone and there is a good chance that if you stick around long enough, you may end up becoming a civil servant. You probably won't be able to afford an early retirement, but at least you'll be featured in every newscast when there's a scandal.

use your kids

It's a known fact that children are the best icebreakers between perfect strangers. For that purpose, you should send your kids to the best private school you can afford. When you pick up your child, you can casually strike up a conversation with another child's parents. If your children end up befriending the kids of a computer maverick, associate yourself with that parent. This is a manipulative and exploitative way to achieve your end, but landing a few million-dollar contracts will make your family thrive in the long run, right?

So the next time you face a dilemma in your firm, just speed dial your pal in the government and remind yourself of the time you hazed half of the law department by shaving their heads. You never know, your pal may still have the incriminating pictures of the lawyer who is suing you. It's easy to imagine the leverage that a picture of a prominent figure smoking a bong while wearing a woman's dress can provide.