45 Things A Foodie Thinks At The Gym

By Ellen Seah - 18 Apr 2016

Not every person who is at the gym is there by choice. Some of us are there under duress. The duress of having eaten way too many (double patty, cheese) burgers (with extra fries and a thickshake) last week. Here are 45 things we think every time we're at the gym...

#1 This is going to feel great!

#2 I really shouldn’t have stopped for fries on the way here.

#3 Oh the fries are not getting along with these crunches...

#4 WHY DID I PUT BACON AND MAYONAISE ON THEM

#5 Someone in this class should be ready to leave soon right?

#6 I must be at least halfway through by now, I feel like I’ve worked out enough for at least another brownie.

#7 Okay its been five minutes.

#8 I’m dying.

#9 That’s it, I’m leaving, GOODBYE

#10 Weights are a thing right?

#11 I carry my groceries to my car all the time, I bet I can lift at least this much.

#12 Never mind.

#13 What does this machine even do?

#14 I can’t be doing this right.

#15 Alright, running. I can run. It’s just like walking, but on a doughnut sugar high.

#16 She’s going at 10, I can probably keep up with her.

#17 URGHHHHH JUST TEN MORE MINUTES AND I’LL LOOK JUST LIKE HER

#18 Okay distract yourself...

#19 What should I have for dinner?

#20 Ooh, maybe I’ll get pizza for dinner.

#21 Mmm pizza.

#22 Okay that wasn’t so bad. At least I got to watch Food Safari while I worked out.

#23 I’m just gonna take a time out and lie on these yoga mats for a bit 'kay?

#24 While I’m down here, I might as well Google some pizza places close to me.

#25 I think I’m gonna get garlic bread too.

#26 Time for some mat work. This person looks like they know what they’re doing. Do you think they’ll notice if I copy them?

#27 I’ll just do it subtly.

#28 OMG WHAT IS THIS POSE

#29 THIS IS NOT A THING

#30 THAT HUMANS SHOULD BE DOING ANYWAY

#31 Okay five more of these push ups and you can stop for ice cream on the way home.

#32 One

#33 Two

#34 …and a half.

#35 [Looks at how many calories have been burned] So that’s half an ice cream.

#36 If I cancelled my gym membership, I would have enough money to eat out every week?

#37 I probably shouldn’t cancel it.

#38 But...

#39 If I eat more salads then I won’t have to exercise.

#40 That’s how it works right?

#41 I wonder if I have abs yet.

#42 [After 3 minutes] That’s enough exercise for today I think.

#43 Maybe I should get one of those healthy green smoothies on the way home.

#44 Oh look, the ice cream place is next door.

#45 Or I could just get ice cream.

Image credit: Sex and the City

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By Ellen Seah

Ellen is a bright eyed, bushy tailed writer just trying to wiggle her way into a job that validates her eating habits. Outrageously organised and unhealthily pedantic, when she’s not writing you’ll find Ellen on YouTube watching endless videos of baby animals.