Danger: Diversion

Thursday, February 11, 2010

If you've noticed, I haven't posted since returning to school. Unfortunately, this semester has brought with it creative outlets that aren't this blog. That's great news for me, but shitty news for you. Shitty news because you won't see much going on here. I'm officially making bad on my promise to turn my unproductive blogging habits around. I'm quitting while I'm far behind, which is so much more satisfying that quitting while you're ahead. I won't take down the site, because my second post was that good, because Danger: Diversion is a sweet ass domain, and because "you never know". I'd say check back every couple months; there might be a little suttin suttin waiting. Thanks for sticking with it while it lasted. Really though, it was fun wandering aimlessly along the dangerous road to diversion with you.

I've said this so many times, and this will be the last, but you'll find a committed blogger who is actually good at what he does here. Click on his ads. He didn't ask me to do this.*しゃしんのクレジット

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Sometimes, you see a friend.
Sometimes, you go to a museum because they have stuff to look at.
Sometimes, contemporary art makes you thirsty (first for water, then for booze).
Sometimes, you pick a restaurant and hope the waitress thinks you're cute enough for the drink menu.
Sometimes, she thinks so.
Sometimes, it happens to be the last ten minutes of happy hour and drinks are half price.
Sometimes, when drinks are half price, you can get two, which is enough (you'll see).
Sometimes, the night draws to an end and it's time to head home.
Sometimes, you feel a little drunk.
Sometimes, you are a little drunk.
Sometimes, you are a lot.
Sometimes, especially when you're a lot drunk, the subway comes sooner than you expected.
Sometimes, the guy sitting across from you is a little creepy, and you get sick of looking at the floor, so you close your eyes.
Bad idea.
Sometimes, when you would normally wake up and get off at the right station, you don't.
Sometimes, you keep sleeping for another ten stops.
Sometimes, you wake up at Kings Highway (deep) and you're the only one in the subway car.
Sometimes, you're still drunk so it doesn't matter one bit.
Sometimes, running for the train on the other platform gives you a rush of adrenaline.
Sometimes, missing that train lets you enjoy the rush, outside and alone, on the most comfortable wooden bench you've sat in.
Sometimes, riding home from the other direction brings new perspective.
Sometimes, the only other person on the train is this guy:

Thursday, December 24, 2009

I spent a good chunk of day brooding over my skill set. When my spotlight of focus dwindled over the 'vocal-related talents' section of my life, well...there wasn't much to shine a light on. If you saw Ice, Ice, Baby Revisited (below), you already know that god decided singing would not be my calling, and that good looks and charm would have to pull me through these next fifty years or so (by 70, I hope to live someplace where I need no skills and can have them replaced by trustworthy servants who don't resent me because I make them laugh). The point is I can't sing, or hum for that matter. In fact, my friends would probably rather have me scratch the plastic wrap on a brand new dvd than have me hum the tune to, say, the theme from Beverly Hills Cop.

Anyway, as a non-singer, I can say my biggest musical fantasy would be to one day discover I've got the chops of Andrea Bocelli, but sadly this is impossible for obvious reasons involving the laws of physical development and aging. The next best thing, then, would be to fill a non-singing role for one of Bocelli's European tours, i.e. be his personal beat boxer. I browsed the youtubes for a while, gathering tips on circular breathing and proper mouth shape, but finally, as is true with so so many other endeavors, I realized I had no shot and gave up. Such is life.

All is not lost, though. I did find this neat clip that should motivate the aspiring bb'ers (<--just made that up). All I ask is that you pocket dial me in concert when you hit the big time.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

About to go spend some quality time with the sibs, so I'll make this quick. Go see 'Avatar'. It's everything you want for the holidays and more. The photo below is intended to appeal to your deep set love for mech-warriors with bad ass gun-blade-combo-weapons and your deep set hate for any image that spoils a movie this good. Don't worry; nothing's spoiled.

Happy blizzard, and if you're traveling on the east coast tonight, be safe and try to enjoy driving slow (yes, even though it goes against your human nature).

And in English:
1. If I have a research paper, then I am stressed.
2. If I am stressed, then I have diarrhea.
3. I have a research paper.
4. All farts are funny.
5. All normal poops are funny.
6. No diarrheas are funny.*
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7. Therefore, I have diarrhea; it's not funny

Friday, December 11, 2009

I had a huge paper due a while ago. I spent the whole night before partying and oh boy, what a party it was. I woke up the next day and thought, Oh no! What ever will I do? A brilliant idea struck me. Why don't I just copy a professional's work and hand that in? Foolproof. I google searched my topic, and clicked the first link. Wikipedia. Sweet. So much information, already organized by subtopic. Once the article was neatly pasted onto word, I went through and erased all the headings. My essay looked great, but something was missing. Right, my name. I handed it in later that day with a diabolical grin. A month past. After one class, my professor asked me to "hang around".

I was expelled for plagiarism.

-Excerpt from the pitch for the service featured in the facebook ad below.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

The next two weeks are going to be hell. Between now and 13 days from now, I'll have written somewhere around 10,500 words, read over 300 pages, and sat for 5 hours of exams. Contrary to what you may believe, you should expect to see more posts as I strive to procrastinate "constructively". Also, it snowed, it's sunny, and I could spend the afternoon staring out my window, watching the powder fall off the needles of the evergreens. *Closing the blinds now*