Old habits die hard. I am still almost completely soundless when I cry, just my body shakes with sobs. And spilled tears surprise me with their heat and their taste.

And as he held me, there was a part of me that slipped away from the entire experience. That floated near the ceiling like a moth, and watched a woman crying silently, and a man who held her without speaking and kissed very gently her shut eyelids, and Sadness and Tiredness and Hollowness drifted like smoke about the room.

Crying is good :)Sometimes I like to cry on my own, but really I yearn to cry with companionship because for so many years I was not allowed to cry at all. And being able to allow myself to cry, and shockingly enough cry in front of another human being is a really big deal for me, and quite therapeutic.