Life doesn't have to suck!! There are support groups in most towns. Check with your local mental health facility and they can guide you in the right direction.. Also getting a good therapist can help alot.. They can teach you how to cope and ho not to dicount your positive thoughts..Right now you have a mental filter that causes you to dwell on the negatives and ignore the positives..You can change that but it takes work on your part.. Good luck!!!