As I progress (I think I am progressing at least!) with my PhD on nonverbal communication, I wanted to share a snippet from an earlier version as I move towards completing the research. As part of my research, I designed the METTA acronym to raise awareness of the importance of the role of nonverbal communication has with respect to the three skills of effective mediators: building rapport, developing trust, and displaying professionalism.

Below I share about refreshments within the “E” of METTA- Environment. Enjoy and please share your thoughts and comments:

It is also worth noting the role of having refreshments available for the negotiating parties has across the three studies of my PhD (study one was a survey, study two I interviewed mediation trainers and professors, and study three I observed mediation sessions) . Each study mentioned that refreshments were an element within “environment” that mediators need to account for.

Having refreshments available for the parties has multiple advantages. First, it is part of a mediator’s preparation prior to the session beginning. Having refreshments available displays professionalism similar to how having writing materials available and setting the seating properly does.

From a rapport and trust building perspective, recent research as well as anecdotal evidence points to the “affective” benefits of having refreshments.A recent study showed the hungrier someone is, it can increase their anger and make them more aggressive due to fluctuations in their serotonin levels (Passamonti et al., 2011) . Both are two attributes a mediator is trying to avoid having in their parties if they are trying to promote a collaborative environment for the negotiation.

Further, another research study spotlighted how having a meal together in a restaurant while negotiating produced more productive discussions and resulted in greater mutual gains compared to negotiating in a conference room and not eating (Balachandra, 2013). The researchers state the reasons for this are numerous including mimicry (sharing the same kinesic motions of eating), sense of control (no one is forcing you to eat), and regulating predjuice and aggressive behaviors.

Anecdotally, I have been told multiple times how much a people enjoy having their mediations at JAMS (a professional mediation business) offices due to the tasty cookies they have available. As absurd as it might sound, consider the two previously mentioned studies while also thinking of the priming effective the environment can have. If a party shares a meal or thinks of the upcoming negotiation with happy thoughts due to the cookies being served, it can contribute to a positive and collaborative approach to the mediated negotiation. Remember, preparation is key as well as first impressions.

Although the environment might be something easily overlooked or not considered important, the three studies have identified nonverbal communication environmental elements is in fact something worthy of consideration as it can contribute to building rapport, developing trust, and displaying professionalism. The environment clearly matters, even if it is something that can easily be overlooked, not be articulated as being important by the parties, or seemingly pointless such as having sharing in eating a tasty cookie.

]]>Crisis & Hostage Negotiator Skills Sheethttp://www.nonverbalphd.com/?p=515
Wed, 02 Apr 2014 17:18:02 +0000http://www.nonverbalphd.com/?p=515For those that have attended any of my presentations and were looking for the “Crisis & Hostage Negotiator Skill Sheet”- click the image below to see a larger web version and click [Here] to download a pdf version. The pdf version is better for printing.

The sheet is based on feedback from current negotiators and research. It is currently being used by law enforcement negotiators across the United States and beyond. It includes active listening skills, responding to emotions, varying your use of adjectives when describing emotions, and more.

If you plan to use this beyond personal use, please check with me first. Send an email to mediator.jeff [at] gmail.com.

]]>Active Listening Techniques of Hostage Crisis Negotiatorshttp://www.nonverbalphd.com/?p=504
Sat, 09 Nov 2013 17:08:59 +0000http://www.nonverbalphd.com/?p=504Active listening is arguably one of the most important set of skills a person must successfully employ while interacting with someone when there is something you are trying to achieve. This can include negotiating a contract, salary, sale or purchase of a house, or it can involve trying to resolve a dispute amongst friends or co-workers.

Research has consistently demonstrated active listening as being critical for communication and conflict resolution experts to successfully and peacefully resolve conflicts and disputes. This includes mediators and hostage and crisis negotiators. As you can imagine, their work entails a wide variety of situations ranging from noise disputes between neighbors to million dollar contract disputes and hostage incidents where lives are at risk.

Aside of containing by both verbal and nonverbal elements, it is not necessarily clear what exactly active listening is and what it consists of. This article sets out to clear the mystery and detail the individual parts that make up the “whole” of active listening while first explaining the value of active listening.

Active listening is both informative and affective based. Active listening allows you to gain valuable information from the speaker (it let’s you know the “why” behind their positions or “wants”) and it develops rapport and builds trust (more on this below). Active listening entails just that,listening more than talking.

…Below are the seven techniques of active listening that are taught by the Federal Bureau of Investigation’s Crisis Negotiation Unit (FBI CNU) to their special agents and other law enforcement officials from around the world.

Emotion Labeling: It is important for the emotions of the person speaking to be acknowledged. Identifying the person’s emotions validates what they are feeling instead of minimizing it. During a negotiation, people can act with their emotions and not from a more cognitiveperspective. By labeling and acknowledging their emotions, it helps restore the balance.

The webinar shared information on the impact of social media during crisis and hostage negotiations. The presentation includes research, real life examples (including Lt. Lowther’s), future considerations, and concludes with a discussion/questions from the audience.

]]>Prezi Presentation: 10 Mistakes of Hostage & Crisis Negotiatorshttp://www.nonverbalphd.com/?p=492
Fri, 25 Oct 2013 13:13:54 +0000http://www.nonverbalphd.com/?p=492I recently gave a presentation at Columbia University Conference on 10 Mistakes Law Enforcement Hostage and Crisis Negotiators Have Made & How You Can Avoid Them.

Grounded in research, the presentation also offers methods these negotiators utilize to avoid the mistakes while I also offered examples on how everyone can apply them to their lives regardless of their profession.

Of course nonverbal communication communication has a role in every interaction, we all know that, right?

Enjoy this article in today’s WSJ on the art of haggling.

Snippet:

Rosella says she occasionally deals with sellers who are “horribly offended” when she tries to bargain. She’ll apologize. Her intent isn’t to hurt their feelings, so she’s mindful of her body language, making eye contact and conveying sincerity. She keeps the bidding light. “When you negotiate aggressively, you do put people on the spot,” she says. “You almost shame them into giving it to you free.”

She also says it’s good to be knowledgeable about the value of the item. “When you get a fair price for yourself, that’s where you stop,” she says. “You don’t have to take them to the mat and beat them up.”

What does a bridge, no less a ‘golden’ one, have to do with mediation and negotiation? Well, the term is from William Ury’s book, Getting Past No [here at Amazon and many others].

Building a golden bridge refers to making sure you have satisfied and overcome the the four common obstacles to an agreement: involving them in devising a solution, meeting unmet interests, helping them save face and finally making the process as simple and easy as possible.

There is much more to just making an attractive offer to the other party. If the above listed criteria are not satisfied, you might find yourself making what you think is the best offer for them, and then surprisingly they reject it.

As the current government shutdown continues down what is seemingly an intractable path, the following tips are all the more relevant.

1) Have everyone involved in building/writing the agreement

It is known that an agreement has a greater chance to be long lasting when the parties involved in the agreement also have input into what the agreement states. Even the best agreements can fail, or not even get finalized, if a party feels that they are being shut out. Simple ways to ensure everyone is involved is to ask them questions like, “what do you think?”, “how do you see it?”, “what should we do?”

Even if you are the one who suggested the idea earlier, do not take credit for it. You can say, “As we mentioned earlier,” or to connect your comments with theirs, as Ury states, you can say something like, “Building on what you said earlier…”.

Remember, keep focused on the goal- getting an agreement that will have you better off than your alternative. This is called your BATNA (use this acronym and impress your friends or fellow Congressmen- BATNA is Best Alternative to a Negotiated Aggreement). So, if this means taking a bite of “humble pie” and letting the other side think they came up with the idea that is good- you not only built them a Golden Bridge, you also got what you wanted.

“10 Mistakes Crisis & Hostage Negotiators Can Make (& How You Can Avoid Them)”

Facilitator: Jeff Thompson, Research Fellow, Columbia University Law School; PhD candidate, Griffith University Law School

A crisis and hostage negotiator is a law enforcement conflict resolution expert who applies their skills in situations that are tense, (potentially) volatile, and where lives can be at risk. Although their work is unique, many similarities exist with other conflict resolution professionals. This workshop provides, based on research, ten mistakes crisis/hostage negotiators have made in situations and offers ways to avoid them in a manner that is directly applicable to other conflict resolution professionals, practitioners, and volunteers. Participants will have an opportunity to reflect on these negotiator skills and share their comments throughout the session.

Thursday, October 24, 20131:30pm to 9:30pmTeachers College, Columbia University

Learn the skills used by these expert negotiators and how it can help you.

Law enforcement crisis and hostage negotiators are world-renowned for their ability to apply expert conflict resolution and communication skills in situations that are tense, (potentially) volatile, and where lives can be at risk.

The negotiator's appearance matters.

Learning the skills that these professionals apply to their distinct negotiation setting is not only interesting but it can also help you. Although their work is very different from yours most likely, the tools they use to effectively communicate and resolve a situation is still applicable to you and your work.Nonverbal communication plays an important role during hostage and crisis situations involving law enforcement personnel. Nonverbal communication is not limited to solely “body language” but rather includes a variety of other elements. To raise awareness of the numerous nonverbal communication elements that are possibly present during an interaction, I created the METTA acronym (movement, environment, touch, tone, and appearance) during my doctoral research on nonverbal communication and mediators.

Below, I have applied the METTA acronym to the hostage and crisis negotiation setting offering an introductory look at how nonverbal communication can impact the negotiations while also offering insight to the skills used by these professionals.

Movement. Congruent body movement that is matching the words being spoken helps display genuine empathy while also contributes to developing rapport and building trust. Even when communication signals are limited such as just talking via phone, it still plays an important role. Think about the next time you are on the phone and notice how often you nod your head, use hand gestures, and use paralanguage such as “mmm” to express agreement or understanding.

]]>Association For Conflict Resolution Conferencehttp://www.nonverbalphd.com/?p=469
Mon, 08 Jul 2013 12:09:03 +0000http://www.nonverbalphd.com/?p=469If you are in the Minneapolis area in October, come see my presentation:

Nonverbal Communication’s Impact On Mediation: Connecting Research With What Practitioners Actually Say & Do

Jeff Thompson

Nonverbal communication is a topic often discussed, either in-depth or casually; however for the first time, research will be shared that combines the story-telling aspect of mediators nonverbal communication knowledge and preferences with specific data. The result is detailed information on how mediators build trust, develop rapport, and present a professional image. Additionally, learn about mediators’ preferences in regards to room arrangements and appearance. Finally, learn how to apply this information through the METTA acronym: Movement, Environment, Touch, Tone, & Appearance.