In this survey, we asked dentists about the funniest excuses they've heard from patients for missing appointments. The clear winner was the toothache defense: "My tooth hurts too bad to get out of bed."

Other highlights include, "My windshield wipers aren’t working and it might rain," "I had to go shopping for my daughter’s bat mitzvah dress," and "I went a movie instead."

The toothache defense

"I can’t come in today because I have a toothache!'” (Florida dentist)

“'My tooth hurts too bad to get out of bed.'” (Florida dentist)

“Had a lady call to cancel her recare appointment at the last minute because she ‘had a toothache.'” (West Virginia dentist)

"They could not make their dental appointment because they had a bad toothache.” (Illinois dentist)

“When in dental school, I was handed a note that my patient had canceled because she had a terrible toothache. The note made it into the yearbook.” (Illinois dentist)

Wow… that's a legitimate excuse!

“A model doing a photo shoot said she was bitten by a lion. A cop was involved in a shoot out.” (New York endodontist)

“'I got hit by a train.”' (North Carolina dentist)

“The patient was in jail!” (Virginia dental office worker)

Are you kidding me?

“One patient wanted to know if his insurance would cover the broken appointment fee!” (General dentist)

“We always document patients' excuses when missing an appointment. Sometimes the same grandparent passes away unexpectedly two or three times in the same year!!” (Texas dentist)

“'I was here a 6:30 but the office was closed'… Well, we ARE closed at 6:30am!!” (New York dental office worker)

“'I can’t get out of the driveway because of snow'… There was no snow on the ground.” (Ohio pediatric dentist)

“One patient told me, 'My windshield wipers aren’t working and it MIGHT rain.' It was summer in San Antonio and there was a 0% chance of rain in the forecast. Needless to say, I got rid of that patient!” (Arkansas orthodontist)

Really? You couldn't have done that another time?

“She had to go shopping for her daughter's bat mitzvah dress.” (Connecticut periodontist)

“'I can’t open the drapes in my living room. I need to stay and wait for the electrician to fix the motor on my electric drapes.'” (California dentist)

“One time a patient said they had the flu, and while they were driving to their appointment they sharted their pants, so they said that they had to go home and change their dirty pants, and by that time the appointment would be over.” (Alabama dentist)

Top Ten Reasons to Delay Dentistry

“Jim- I made them into a Top Ten List…" (Ohio dentist)

I’d rather just continue taking aspirin.

The weather’s too bad.

The weather’s too good.

I’ll chew on the other side.

I vibrate on an astral plane that transcends mere physical appearance.

Let’s wait until I get my tax refund.

My insurance company doesn’t care what I look like.

I don’t want to go to my grave with perfect teeth.

If G_d had intended that I have sweet smelling breath, She wouldn’t have put plaque on my teeth.

Let's wait until it gets really bad.

The "Cancellation Blues"

“Check out my ‘Cancellation Blues’ song on my website (www.tonguencheek.com) and listen to all the excuses that patients use to cancel! This is from my dental comedy album ‘SPIT HAPPENS!’ Check out my videos of my performances across the country for dental groups from Florida to Alaska." (Dr. Dan, "America's Funniest Dentist")

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What Doctors Say

When I first came to work with Jim, I was producing approximately $48,000 per month. At the end of the first year, I was producing 114% more than when I started. The value of new patients during that first year also doubled.

When I first started, I had about 8-10 new patients a month. I was practicing alone in my home, so I had a very small practice. I knew I really had to grow the practice quickly because I moved into a new facility. With the different approaches the The Wealthy Dentist has given me, I was able to move the number of new patients up to 41 a month.

Dr. Jan OrmsbyIthaca, NY

The major benefit that I have received from having been a member of the The Wealthy Dentist has been my transition from managed care insurance plans to fee-for-service patients.

Probably the biggest key that I've seen that has allowed me to progress to where I am now has been really implementing a lot of the systems that I've learned.

You know: making sure I have a complete team that's working for a common goal. In addition to that, I'm really implementing a lot of the marketing strategies that I found were the most effective for me.

Especially when I first started, I tried a lot of different marketing techniques, and I wasn't sure whether they were going to work or not. With Jim and his team of dental management consultants, I've really been able to copy genius instead of creating mediocrity.

Dr. Victor SobrepenaFoster City, CA

When I started with Jim about 12 years ago, my practice was producing an average of about $35,000 a month. I had a goal to move out of the really small place that I was in that was really getting pretty old, pretty outdated.

So now I'm in about 3,000 square feet. I have an Associate doctor and our average production now is in the area of about $160,000 a month.

The marketing strategies that the TheWealthyDentist.com have given me have always stretched me a little bit. They've always been very effective. We're on the Internet. I've been on the radio - very uncharacteristic for me. And television. We have a well-designed, well-thought-out, well- tested yellow page ad. They work. If you just follow the program, it works!

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