I’m Pregnant

I’ve had the concept in my head clear as day for more than two years. I first came up with it, and saw it almost completely whole, in a conversation with my friend Karen, who was also at that time my literary agent. But I just did not have the emotional or intellectual bandwidth to even imagine I could get ready to write another book, much less write it. I had to grieve, find a new job, try to make my love affair work, help my son through a terrible crisis, figure out what I wanted to do with my life to make it feel more right, to make it suit me and the person I was becoming on the other side of all that pain. Oh! But you all know that, because all those stories are what is here, in this blog.

I am so happy I wrote all that out, that I have a record. Because, now, standing so clearly on the other side of it all, I can’t believe the gaping hole that got punched in my life. It just doesn’t seem possible that much could happen at once. But it did. One thing after the other, for three and a half years.

And I was right when I wrote that moving to Garrison would be the end of the “ring cycle,” the operatic dramas of loss. Every single day feels fresh and brand new, and it’s such a shame that that expression is cliché, because feeling that way is anything but rote. Every day, the leaves are a different color. Every day, something in the garden has changed. Every day brings a different sky, a different mood for the birds, a reason to pay attention and know that time is passing—instead of having it slip through your fingers without even leaving an impression.

I feel filled up. There is so much I want to see and do!

And writing my book proposal, and starting the hard work of writing the book, has finally come fully alive inside me, pressing into me, sending its tendrils of possibility spiraling up into my brain.

I’m so thrilled to hear that voice again.

And I can’t wait to give birth.

I’m choosing a proposed birth date of end of the year for the proposal. I have no idea if I can make that happen, but I do know the beginning, the middle, the end of the story, I do know why I’m writing it, I do know, so clearly, what I want to say. I have chronology on my side to support the structural issues, and I have a taste in my mouth for what the language should sound like. (Mixed metaphor intentional.) I already have a lot of the riddle written. Now I just need to start solving it.

I’m excited to start this journey. I hope I can do it justice, in fair time, of course.

Hooray!

About stacy

I am a writer, author, mother, former magazine editor (last at Redbook), optimist, and, above all, a searcher. I'm still searching for whom I'm really meant to be, after a series of very jarring losses: a divorce and house disaster that led to a book (Falling Apart In One Piece); a week after the book came out, my parents suddenly fell gravely ill, I resigned from my job (and, apparently, my career), my son went into crisis, my parents then rapidly died four weeks apart, and my boyfriend (who had moved in with me and my son just weeks before the book came out) began the painful journey of realizing we couldn't make our relationship work (that story unfolded on this blog). Since then I've been trying to figure out what's next. Or, in other words, how to fill in the blanks.

I love this Stacy! We have similar stories. It’s been one thing after the other for me as well – new job, failing marriage, illness, depression, life-threatening condition, etc,. I finally threw my hands up in the air and decided to be who I am despite the craziness. It’s paid off!!! Now working on a new startup and moving at the end of the year. Close to NYC!!! Can’t wait to see you in a week!

First of all: That was a dirty, dirty trick. I had a split-second of shock when I opened my email and went … “Surely she must be kidding. But maybe not? You never know.” And then I had another thought that sounded something like “Thank God it’s not me!”

Can’t wait to read it! And I hope you’ll share the writing/birthing journey here. Books are amazing things. Yours was tucked into the stacks of our local library, and something about the spine caught my eye as I was walking past it, on my way to the door. And that chance happening have led me to the rich place I’ve found here. You just never know what a day might bring, do you?

So true!! I feel so lucky and blessed for the people the book has brought into my life. I never thought about the fact that the book would be like a tribe whistle, you know? I will definitely share about the writing journey here…. It’s a strange and interesting process, like a snake slowly swallowing an elephant. But with lots of crying, self-doubt and regret baked in. Sounds fun, right? ; )

I always get goosebumps that I know you, because I can picture the day that the cover of your last book caught my eye at barnes and noble here. I picked it up, thumbed through, kept telling my 3 children, just two more seconds, two more seconds, I just want to read it a little bit more… then finally realizing I had to buy it… to think that I know you now, it gives me goosebumps. How did that happen? Congratulations on this wonderful news, whatever you need from me in this process, I can give,. I’ll begin by saying, I can’t wait to read it.

This is wonderful news and I can’t wait to hold it in my hands! Your riviting first book recently made its way back into a pile next to a favorite reading chair–a pile of books that are so dear I like to browse through them again at times, and which are helping me to write my way through what I’m living. Thank you, again.