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Realist

Month: March 2016

It is tonight that I realized how lucky I am and how blessed I have always been. A few years back, despite having every material thing I ever wanted, I was never as happy as I am today. The problem was never with how life was, as it turns out. The problem, had always been about me. I had almost everything but I was completely blindsided by my insecurities and dilemmas. I had a good family, my father’s business was doing great and had more than enough to provide for our needs, I had a good company of friends and enjoyed the sport I loved. How could someone ever ask for more right? But I did. I asked for more than what is due. I demanded more than what I deserved. To make things short, I was greedy and self centered. I never wanted to be like that, perhaps it was just simply because I had a different lens in viewing life back then. I was young and naive to see how life really works. I had everything but was never trully happy. Things had changed though. My oh so perfect life isn’t so perfect anymore. People have come and go in my life. I have a fair share of heartbreaks both romantic and platonic. People I used to trust somehow ended up betraying me. I was filled with anger, not only to others but also to myself. It was hard to forgive, but much even harder to forget. For so long I have kept grudges and for so long I have kept myself from being trully happy because of this grudges. I don’t know why but God always made a way to give me a little bit of everything. In the middle of the year last 2015, things started to fall apart. My thesis was at the brink of total failure, we had a business crisis and my mom had a heart problem, and my grandfather whom I adored so much isn’t coping well with cancer. It was like my oh so perfect world crumbled just like that. But you know what’s funny and ironic? It was then that I started to find what trully matters in life, but I didn’t get to do it alone. Since it was during those times that I met him, the man behind every smile and the one who never fails to inspire me to become a better person. I am nowhere near perfect, but to him I was. I have alot of insecurities but never have I ever felt more secured. My life isn’t so perfect and so am I but it’ okay because I no longer want to be perfect anyway. I used to see darkness in light but now all I ever want to see is light despite the darkness of the world. I may not have every-thing, but I surely now have everything I ever needed. Life is indeed what we make out of it.