Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Three times the repeat
That's what jolted me up from my evening nap
It wasn't one time not just that
But twice before even during my usual sleeps

It has different contents but holds the same meanings
Something initially beautiful and wonderful
Rushed, disorganized and oh so frightening
Like waking up to cry is my only escape

Were those warning signs not yet acted upon
Did it have to repeat itself three times
For me to truly understand
And make a decisive decision to act upon it?

Sometimes things are thrown at you
Beyond what you can handle
And right here right now
I'd realized this is the part where I let it go

Life has this way of chasing you
Dreams even
As if we're not already tired by the days duties already
Needing to accommodate to this weird images during rest time

"Don't worry, don't worry, I got you"
"Trust little child, it's gonna be alright"
I hear my favorite singer from Bethel sing spontaneously
"All things work together for the good of those who love the Lord"

And although the fear did not magically disappear
I know I can lean on Him in every situation
I can converse with Him on what to do next
On my responds, my fears and the risks needed to be taken

It took three times the repeat to catch my attention
But I'm here now not fully ready yet to face the music
But well aware that I'm not alone in this
Just curiously wondering what the other end might perceive of it

This is scary
Like how my future depends on it
The life's of my children's children
Yet I will behold it with grace, faith and courage

Allowing love to knit them together
By the third you know they're not just any accident
Signs you cannot just let pass by
I shall and will read these signs correctly

I took it lightly initially
But now I'm fully aware of the matter at hand
I shall look into this and not linger anymore
Because it took three times the repeat
To really get hold of me....