Title: I Dare YouAuthor: nouveau_mondayPairing: Van/Jake (and why yes, thank you, I am going to hell)Rating: PG-13/R for language, and yes, that means no sex occurs in this pieceWord Count: 6.5kishSummary: These dares they give each other are getting out of hand.Spoilers: Umm ... RPS, so no actual spoilers, but reference to the smooching and bed jumping.Disclaimer: This is in no way true. Never was. Never will be. Jake and Van belong to themselves, not me. And this is all the fault of some people from vh.net who suggested that we needed more RPS. And then someone suggested I try it, and then I did, and now I'm going to hell, but maybe people will enjoy the lovely decoration on the hand baskets.Notes: Thank you so much to mightyten for being a great beta, especially when I whine all the time. And she's ridiculously busy. And she still did this. Because she rocks. Also, just for my own sake, I finished this the day before Perez Hilton posted his piece about Van/Tyler. That means, I don't want to hear it, kay?

"I can't believe they're having us reshoot. What's that about?"

"You didn't read the new pages?"

"Not yet. Why would I? We nailed it the first time. You know we did."

Van shook his head. "Just read the new scene. You'll understand."

He watched as Jake flipped through the pages, scanned some of the lines. "This is dumb. We know Ameera is supposed to meet Noah at the house. She says so. Why are you and I supposed to be looking for her all of a sudden?"

"Keep reading."

"Oh." Pale skin flushed. Blue eyes brightened. Did he know he sucked on his bottom lip like that when he was thinking? "Seriously?"

"Yep."

"I thought they'd given up on it, somehow." Jake shrugged. "Seems like that was never going to happen again." His eyes passed over the same few lines again and again.

"Apparently you thought wrong. It's being added for some reason. Bet they got sick of all the bad press they were getting. The fans are rabid."

"Think you can handle macking on me?" The nudge to Van's ribs was supposed to be a joke, but felt like a jackhammer.

"I guess I can handle kissing you." Van blew his hair from in front of his eyes. Luke needed another hairstyle. This was getting ridiculous. "I mean, for the fans and all."

"Of course. For the fans. What did you think I meant?" Unsteady, too hurried laughter broke the calm of the moment. He reached to brush blonde hair from in front of Van's eyes. "When are they gonna let you get Luke's hair cut? It's getting pretty crazy. Think they're trying to hide your face so I control myself and don't just drop to my knees to prove a point?"

Van attempted not to swallow his tongue. "That would ... make a statement."

"Come on, people would love it. Think of the letters the P&G would get. Too funny." Jake glanced up at Van's silence. "No? Not funny?" He frowned. "Probably not, huh, with you just signing the contract and all. Don't worry. I won't do it until the cameras stop rolling." He stuck his tongue out and whacked Van's shoulder with the script he'd rolled up.

"Promises, promises, Silbermann. It's not nice to tease your friends like that." Really not nice. Van ached to get his hands on whomever thought writing in this scene without warning. Bad enough that he had to hide part of himself, not from his friends or his family, but from the media. Now he was supposed to act like one stupid kiss in how many stupid episodes was acceptable? Was realistic? He shook his head. "Come on. I'm sure you and I both need caffeine. And nothing is sexier than coffee breath and a million people shoving lights in your face when you're kissing your boyfriend." He elongated each syllable of the word boyfriend and admired Jake's blush.

"We can hold hands on the way down to food service. Give everyone a thrill?" Jake raised an eyebrow in an unspoken dare.

"Smooth ploy, Mister. But you know what, I'm a good guy, I'll let you do it. Probably the most action you've gotten in months. You'd figure more girls would be all about you now that you're gay for pay. Aren't women supposed to be into that?" Van laced his fingers with Jake's, couldn't resist running his thumb across his friend's palm.

"Apparently they're all saving me for you, or that's what I hear."

"Umm. What?"

"Oh sure, we're one of those RPF power couples in the making. I mean, we're no J2, but yeah, getting there."

"You are speaking a foreign language right now. What are you even saying?" Van ordered two coffees, one light, one dark. He passed the dark one to Jake.

Jake angled them to a small round table with just two chairs. His body took up more space that Van's, and sometimes, though Van wasn't sure how, he was pretty convinced that Jake took up more room than Noah. "I can't believe for someone who is so computer literate, you're not the slightest bit curious about what people are writing about us. Do you not look at your own boards, dude?"

"Well, sure, I mean some times. It's just, I don't know, it's weird."

Jake nodded. "You don't know the half of it." He blew cool air over the styrofoam cup. "Crash course in fanfic, ready?"

Van swallowed. "Sure?"

"It goes like this. Fanfic is fic about what goes on in the story that isn't seen on TV or in the book or the concert or where ever. Comes in a couple different flavors. But we apparently thrill people because we're canon, the real deal, not imagining the big gay love. But RPF, that's different. Those people, they aren't writing about Luke and Noah. They're writing about you and me."

"Come again?" Van choked on his coffee.

"Oh yeah. There's a ton of it out there. A lot of it seems to be based around characters from the CW network. But I've noticed our names getting filtered in recently." He swallowed his coffee with religious devotion. Each cell opened up, became more alive. "Don't worry, this phase will pass. We're not as interesting as the guys who grope each other so publicly." Jake winked. "Who knows, though. I didn't see you complaining about holding my hand."

Van sputtered. "That was a dare! You! You did that on purpose."

Jake's stomach tightened, because, yeah, he was man enough to admit that he had done it on purpose. Probably not the purpose that his friend thought, but who didn't have an agenda in daytime TV? At least, he was man enough to tell himself that. Van didn't need to know all his secrets. "Totally did. The more press we get, the happier I am. Maybe I'll get a freakin' contract out of it."

"Still got you nervous?" Van frowned. "Don't worry so much. Noah's pretty much stuck with Luke, or maybe it's the other way around. Noah's been clueless recently with this whole Ameera thing."

"What are you talking about?" Jake wrapped his hand over Van's wrist. "Luke is the one that's playing games. He's a total cock tease. If anything is ever going to happen, Noah's gonna have to drag Luke off like he's some weird damsel in distress." The pulse under his hand beat hard and fast. He forced himself to meet Van's eyes. "You know I'm right."

"Whatever. That's my line. Remember? Noah calls and then Luke goes off to save his virtue from Ameera. Luke's gonna get fed up soon and just beat Ameera off his man with a stick." Van didn't move his hand away, but turned his palm slightly to run his fingers over the underside of Jake's wrist. He shook his head, but kept his eyes open. Jake's eyes were a stupid blue that sometimes made his stomach hurt in a way he'd rather not look at too carefully. "This is a moot point. They don't even kiss."

"But they will. Today." Jake swallowed. It wouldn't be the two of them. Luke would be in stripes Van would never get caught dead in. Noah would have some dorky earnest expression and, he wanted to groan, have to be all about pulling Luke in and forcing the issue. Damnit, why did Luke always have to be such a pussy about being physical? Couldn't he be the aggressor just once? Shit, he'd left his hand in Van's. Again. No more dares. No more teasing. No more touching, unless it was in character. Maybe the millionth time would be the charm and this time he would keep his promises? He snatched his arm back, wrapped his hands and fingers around his cup and shut his eyes. "How much time before we have to shoot?"

"Enough to practice."

Jake's eyes shot open. "To what?" Oh no no no. His voice had not just cracked. He snapped his eyelids down once more.

"Sure. There are words on the page. It's not just Noah slamming Luke up against the walls. Come on, Mister One Take. Let's do this right so we can get out of here. Maybe catch a movie or hit a bar or something after?" Van breathed deeper at the thought of some alcohol. Jake was always touchy feely in a guy-kinda-way, but with a little alcohol there were fewer inhibitions. If anything were to happen, not that it would or should or hell whatever, but if anything were to happen, they could at least blame the booze and laugh it off.

Van stood up and Jake did not follow the lines of his jeans or fixate on his belt buckle. He did not remember the feel of hands inside his, or the sweet coffee scent of Van's breath when Luke nuzzled against Noah. He just didn't. This train of thinking was a wreck waiting to happen. "No bars!" Alcohol and a fucking girl crush. He didn't think so. Especially with Van's habit of sitting in his lap once he was sloshed. Only so long before Jake wasn't going to be responsible for grabbing Van's hips and holding him still just long enough to scratch this stupid itch. "But a movie or something could be fun." Dark theaters. No chance for temptation. No visible erections. That was good, real good. Jake stood up, coffee in one hand and script in the other. No chance to make Van think anything stupid needed to happen for whatever paparazzi might be around. He'd never been so relieved for the stupid Don't Ask and Don't Tell policy that P&G seemed to insist upon. "Or we could have an X-Men marathon at one of our apartments or something. Just chill." Wait? What? Had he just? F-u-u-u-c-k. "Or umm, coffee and a movie. There's a few things I wanted to see." Jake kept his mouth shut and his distance. He rolled his eyes. When had he started checking out Van's ass exactly? Jesus. This had to stop.

"Sweet. Let's see how the scene goes and then decide? Come on." Van winked. "We don't want to have to make out a million times. Let's get this right." Definitely no repeated kissing. Lights, directions, whatever, it didn't matter. Jake's lips against his, and those hands on him all possessive and grabby. God. This was embarrassing. He was a professional. Professional should not sport wood over co-workers and, more importantly, friends. That was tacky. And wrong. And not his style.

*****

The Old Town set was empty. Everyone else was somewhere off filming the heterosexual angst that kept the show running. No one paid attention to the two actors wandering around storefront facades and meticulously spaced tables and chairs. Jake bit at his lower lip. "Okay, so we're running around like chickens with their heads cut off looking for Ameera, right?"

"Uh huh."

"Then Luke gets all maudlin and goes to leave. Stiff upper lip and all that. Have a good time with your wife, idiot, I'm going to go and plot her downfall and figure out how to break you up, blah blah blah." Jake skimmed his script. Why was this always happening? Why did they continue to write them both this way? Maybe this was why he didn't have a contract? He wasn't subtle enough about the sloppy mistakes in their storyline. "And so apparently, I say fuck it and lay one on you. Probably because I'm starting to get desperate. Dude, isn't it about time Luke got some balls and kissed Noah?" Jake couldn't stop the irritation seeping into his voice.

"Umm, because I'm under contract? And the AFA is a pain in the ass. So if worse came to worst and Noah forced Luke up against a wall and had his wicked ways with him, you can leave, but I'm not. Jake, I'm sorry. I know all this talk of contracts suck. And it's fucking ridiculous that you don't have one, but seriously. That's what this is about. Noah has to be the aggressor. I'm the cute one that all the women either think is soooo sweet or they want to be my mom or something else equally weird." Van rubbed at the tension in Jake's shoulders. "Come on. It'll be okay. You know Luke loves it when Noah gets all toppy anyway. Let's see how we can entertain ourselves with this."

Jake leaned into those capable hands more than he knew he should, but didn't care. The lack of contract continued to burn. "Mmmm. How about Luke gives Noah shoulder massages every day. That could help."

"Or how about we make this scene so intense that the fans are talking about it for days and that the AFA knows we're saying, 'Bite us'. How about this scene is so scorching for the two boys that everyone knows we're doing it for the fans. Come on. I dare you. It'll be better than holding hands or another stupid interrupted moment." Van's words were soft behind Jake's ear, promise, laughter and sweet coffee. He bit back what might have been a whimper if he'd let it be. Which he wouldn't. Because, duh, friend and co-star.

"H-ho-how do we do that?"

Van breathed deep. It's not nice to trick your friends when they don't know you want them. It's wrong and bad and... Oh, fuck it. "I was thinking, what if we tried to, I don't know, let the AFA know we were on to them."

"Sure. Okay." Just don't stop touching me. "And again, how?" Jake looked at the script, read the lines, where was room for the grand gesture Van was envisioning? There wasn't room to improvise a sex scene, and it's not like that wouldn't get cut ... Though there was that other scene they edited in. And it had totally been Van's idea to be commando. Or, shit, that one hadn't been. That had been his fault. No more bars with Van for a reason. He remembered it distinctly now. Alcohol on his tongue, protesting The Man keeping their characters down, and then a lapful of co-star laughing at him and daring him to do something; pole dance or give a bottle head or blow him for that matter. The something was a bit vague, but he remembered responding with the fact that he would do that when Van went commando on set. Christ, this daring each other thing had to end soon or they were going to both get fired. Or his dick was going to explode. Or both.

Van reached around Jake's arm. "Look here." He pointed to a set of lines. "It's the perfect thing. Come on. James Bond code. Think about it. Luke is all, 'What about the ICE?' and Noah is all demanding and 'What about them?' You can glare at the camera. Give a smoldering look of 'Fuck you AFA.' It's an awesome metaphor. And the hotter the kiss, the better the line." He slid his body parallel to Jake's and elbowed him. "And after all, Mr. I-Know-Far-Too-Much-About-What-The-Internet-Thinks-Of-Us, how many times is that image going to be captured of you looking like some porn star turned romance cover model?"

Jake blushed. "I don't look like that. Can we just go through the lines before they find us?"

"You have to promise first. I held your hand. You seduce the camera. Come on. It's your turn." Van opened his eyes wide. He might have been trying to pout but the smirk stopped it from being successful. "You know you want to do it. You're a better at this whole gay pride thing than I am. The poster boy for all things American, heterosexual, safe and still sexy when playing queer." His laughter held a bitter tinge. Van fisted his hands into Jake's shirt and insisted he look at him. "Come on, Jake. Do it. Send the message that I never can. Please."

Shit. He closed his eyes. "Stop begging. It's unprofessional. Yes, yes, okay. I'll do it. I don't think it will mean anything, except confirming that you are insane, but I'll give dirty looks to the camera. Can we maybe read lines or something? You know, like you said we would." He curled his fingers so tight against his palms he thought he might bruise himself. Axe murderers, pimples, zoos, clowns. Axe murdering clowns with pimples at a zoo. Jake shuddered at all his nightmares in one, but at least he wasn't dealing with his own dick when he should be concentrating.

*****

Jake paused on his mark. He ran the actions in his mind. Say the line straight. Be earnest. Look almost pathetic in your love. Look around to make sure no one's there, but not too much because you're focused on Luke. Keep your eyes on Van as much as possible. Turn him around. He should be the one facing the wall. You with your back to it. You should be a little bit hidden just in case, and then lean forward. We want a couple different angles, so expect to hold the kiss for a bit. Just pause as you lean in and wait for your cue. He could do that. He could stare back and forth and smile at Van. Picture him whispering 'Fight the power' and 'Queer pride for all' and 'Pornstar cover model go!' when they were supposed to be concentrating.

And man, was he concentrating.

Jake made sure everyone could tell Noah concentrated on Luke's jacket, his arms, his shoulders, his eyes. He swallowed. "Luke, I want you to know that every day I think how lucky I am to have you." Van's eyes were impossibly brown and even harder to read. He looked like he was going to laugh. Jake hoped he hadn't just swallowed a piece of garlic or hot peppers or something equally gross.

Van smiled and looked somewhat flustered like he'd been told. "Well that's all I need to hear." He blinked. Why was Jake staring at him like that? Oh wait, right, he was supposed to do that. Hell. Script one. Stupid crushes on straight friends zero. The flutter in his stomach sucked rocks. Jake was staring, manhandling Van around the set like he was supposed to. Wait. Damn it. What was his line? Oh right! "What about the ICE?"

Bang! That was it. The line Van had told him to focus on. Think AFA not ICE. Think P&G. "What about them?" Apparently Van knew his shit, because the disgust that Jake felt, the frustration, and embarrassed longing, it all spewed forth in that one sentence, and he still sounded headstrong and so damned sure of himself. Which, whatever, wasn't true, but hell, as long as the cameras didn't know his heart pounded. He surprised himself for a moment but then he froze like he'd been asked.

"And cut. Perfect. Don't move guys, just a moment, need to adjust the cameras ... and the lighting ..." Jake held his breath. Inches from Van's face, he smelled mint and deodorant, but nothing evil. Apparently that shy smile had been him acting. Because he was an actor. Actors act. It's what they do. They don't want to bring their poorly written soap storylines to reality because then they wouldn't be acting anymore. They would be idiots. Jake was not an idiot. He was just, umm, moved by the scene or something. By the relief of Noah finally getting some kind of action. It wasn't that he knew in a few more moments when they unfroze that Van, no damn it, Luke would be kissing him. Fuck. Kissing Noah right, that's what he meant all along.

"Cameras ready? All right gentlemen, let's do this. Action."

Jake pulled at Van's jacket like he was supposed to do. Noah always grabbed at Luke like he couldn't get enough. And then, wait, this hadn't been staged.

Van slid his fingers into Jake's hair at the base of his neck and pulled him forward. He tipped Jake's head and winked.

Jake didn't moan. He wouldn't. But he also wasn't expecting his co-star to slip him the tongue. Soft lips. Warmth. The slightest hint of stubble was awesome against his face. He could do this for hours. Getting paid to make out was maybe the best job so far, and okay, so it wasn't quite making out, but maybe some day. Not elevator sex, or anything, but making out would be nice. His fist tightened on the jacket, and one kiss became two, then three. His head spun as he forced himself to note cameras and lights and booms and not the briefest taste of something so much stronger than mint and Old Spice. Jake's lip tingled with saliva and Van's lip balm. He had to lean back, had to take a breath, anything. His chest spidered warmth across his lungs and down. Blood zipped through him heading right for his dick.

"And cut. Keep breathing gentlemen, but don't move. We're rolling back to see that we got it."

No movement. Jake closed his eyes. No looking at Van. No wondering about what he was doing. He promised himself it was those stupid dares going out of control. That must have been it. Van couldn't actually give the people he wanted to the middle finger, so he made sure to let everyone know he wanted to do just that. With Jake's mouth. When had Jake's mouth become Van's mouthpiece? He sighed. About the same time, he had promised to be snarky on camera for him. He panted as quietly as he possibly could, praying that one take for once, would not be enough.

"Well done. Jake, as always, your nickname proves itself to be true. Van, great job. Now you're going to pull away first and then Jake, stay put a second. Watch Luke walk away, but remember, for the first time in a long time, Noah is happy. Sure of himself."

Right. Sure of himself. Absolutely. Absolutely sure he was crushing far too hard on his friend to make anything okay again.

"And action."

Jake managed not to swear. He pulled Van in and kissed him, hard but firm twice more, then pushed back with his palm so it would like he was going to yank him closer. He watched the flash of something in Van's eyes, before he followed through with direction. Luke's hand reached up to pet Noah's cheek before he walked away. Jake watched his steps until he was out of camera line and smiled. Everything seemed so easy when their characters weren't touching, but now, with all these edits. Man. He stared at the camera and all but licked his lips. What was in Van's lip stuff? He swore he still felt it. Screw anyone who said this was wrong or bad. Pornstar turned romance cover model just like Van said. He adjusted Noah's bag on his shoulder and followed his marks off the floor.

"And done! Great work the both of you. You're done for the day."

Jake whirled as soon as the scene was called, but Van was gone. No way. Absolutely not. He dashed across the set, ignoring the people calling his name, in the direction his friend had taken. "Van! Van, wait up!" From his movements it looked like maybe he was headed toward wardrobe which, okay, made sense if they were done shooting, but seriously? The hell, man? "Van," he panted as he caught up to him. Long legs had to be worth something now and then. "What was that?"

"What was what, Jake?" He sighed. Van wondered if sprinting wouldn't be subtle enough to make Jake get it.

"What was that, man? You dared me to posture at the cameras a little, but I didn't? We didn't? Just, what the hell?" He clapped a hand to Van's shoulder. "Stop running, would you?"

Van stopped. He met Jake's baby blues head on. "Luke's clothes are bugging me. I need to go pick up food, if we're watching movies, and I swear, someone put itching powder in the make up. I'm not running from you, Jake. Why would I do that?" He paused, watched Jake processing what he said, held his breath and hoped that what he said was convincing. "Can I change now?" Okay, so that was a big lie, but hey, chalk one up for being an actor. Lying to remove awkwardness almost made up for having created said awkwardness in the first place.

"Yeah, sure. I'll, umm, catch you up. You want to watch at my place or yours?" He frowned as Van barely turned to say "Yours" before fleeing Jake's space.

Something was off, but damned if he could figure it out. Why was Van freaking out? Shit. Had he said something on set to give himself away? Christ, if he were Van he'd be bolting as well. Jake bit his lip. Hell, hell, hell. His skin felt tight. Nerves pricked at his shoulder blades. Van was right. There was itching powder in the make up. He paced back and forth, staring at his watch and muttering for ten minutes. Ten minutes should have given them enough breathing room, right? Van must be about done. They can talk dinner and movies and things would be fine. Better than fine. Good shot, good scene, good food, great company. All the makings of a spectacular day. Optimism. Calm, cool, he could play that. He was an actor. Jake gave up on his pep talk before he went looking for a life coach and some aromatherapy and headed to change.

*****

"So, I was thinking Indian?"

Van had appeared out of nowhere and startled Jake with those words, but Indian was good and Van knew what Jake liked. "Awesome. I have to finish getting this junk off my face. You might have been on to something with the itching powder." He wrinkled his nose and bent closer to the mirrors. He pressed his lips together and did not think about the taste of mint haunting his tongue.

Van swallowed. Jake's shirt rode up and teased him with a strip of smooth muscled lower back dipping into low-slung, loose jeans. "Jesus," he whispered. He couldn't peel his eyes away, even though he tried. But there was Jake's back and Van's mouth dried up and damned if he didn't just want to lick down his spine. These stupid reshoots were going to be the death of him. The kiss today, that weird bed scene the week before. Jake half naked. his hands bound up, caught in the shirt that locked his arms tight behind him and highlighted truly bitable arms and shoulders. Fuck me. This is a bad idea. "I could go get it? Want the usual?" Van forced himself to turn from Jake's back. His breath hitched. Somehow that question seemed so much more loaded today. Now. Hell.

Jake nodded, kept his eyes closed. No, I want the unusual, you idiot! "Surprise me. So, umm, my place has a better set up." Or at least a couch and not a bed where they watched movies. "Surround sound, and my microwave is working if we need popcorn."

"Popcorn and Indian. Pure class there, Silbermann, pure class." And yeah, okay, so a sofa was a better idea than his bed, but damned if his bed wasn't comfortable. Dangerous, but wicked nice.

"Yeah, yeah. If it helps, I also have good beer and mango sorbet?" Jake made another face. "Is all this stuff off the back of my neck?"

"You had me at beer." Van spun slowly on his heels. At least, with Jake standing, there was no skin showing, but the column of his neck looked tasty. "There's some behind your ear." He couldn't resist flicking at the back of Jake's left ear. He grinned at Jake's wince of surprise. "Gotcha."

"Jerk. No beer for you if you keep beating me up." Which really? Probably a good idea anyway. A buzzed Van was a touchy Van, and Jake kept forgetting his own no cuddling the friend rule far too often.

"Aww. Why you gotta be like that?" Van rubbed at Jake's ear where it had turned red. "Come on, you'll be fine. Promise. Won't even need a kiss better." He swallowed against his own perverse urges. "Okay, I'm out of here. See you at your place in a bit. Don't take all day primping, Gorgeous."

"Shut up and go get food. I'm starving." At least his voice hadn't cracked. That was an improvement. He scrubbed the make up from behind his ear extra hard. "You're an asshole, Silbermann." He stared at his reflection in the middle. "A dumb cliché of an actor, falling for your co-star. Get over yourself. And for god's sake, get over Van." He tossed the tissues and wipes in the trash and headed for his apartment to make sure the couch was devoid of anything that might make them sit too near to each other.

The walk from the subway was uneventful, but Jake couldn't stop the inevitable loop of Van after the shoot to Van flicking his ear, calling him gorgeous and running away as fast as possible. Maybe Van was buttering him up with good food and movies so he could tell him that there was never going to be anything between them and Jake should just go get laid, you know, by a chick. His heart thumped as he dashed to catch the elevator before it closed. Or maybe? Maybe Van knew what was going on, and slipping him the tongue had been a hint that he knew and agreed that any sex they had would be the hottest sex in the world and who needed girls when you could have your friend instead. Or maybe ... ? Jake didn't know whether to laugh or cry as the other people on the elevator got off immediately when he talked to himself and slapped his forehead. "Maybe I should just get over myself and be realistic. Don't lose a friend. For fuck's sake, don't lose a job, over your hormones."

*****

He buzzed Van in an hour later and wiped his hands on his jeans once more. The apartment was clean. The extra pillows on the sofa were tucked on the bed and out of sight. He'd tucked the beer to the back of the fridge and pulled soda and water to the front. All porn and chick flicks were hidden. Jake had not-so-subtly displayed action movies where plenty of shit got blown up and his XBox forward. This was manly, and guys and absolutely nothing but testosterone. Which was not him, and really he thought Bollywood and Indian sounded perfect. And Van would as well. Because he was a loser and always managed to find a way to make Jake like him that little bit more. He started at the knock on his door.

"Gonna let me in?"

"Keep your pants on." Jake mentally slapped himself and opened the door. There was no way in hell he was going to make it through the evening without alcohol. He should have known better than to try and hide it.

"Not a problem. Your hallway is cold." Van slid by Jake into the living room. His arms were loaded down with more paper and plastic than Jake thought he'd ever seen. "So, umm, you said 'surprise me', and I wasn't sure what that meant. I maybe bought one, or ten, of everything."

Jake covered his smile behind a cough. He grabbed some of the bags from Van and dumped them on the coffee table. "Guess it's a triple feature for us tonight, huh? Matrix? Bourne Trilogy? X-Men? Die Hard? The original Star Wars? Take your coat off. Make yourself comfortable. You want that beer now, or later?" Because, yeah, liquid courage and a lap full of Van Hansis all of a sudden sounded like an excellent combination.

"Now would be perfect and I'm disappointed. I was expecting at least one offer of Bollywood. I know you've got it. Or at least some Kung Fu for an Asian flair." Van eased himself into the corner of the sofa. It smelled like Jake, and how unfair was that? He inhaled and exhaled, trying to find a sense of balance.

Jake popped the top off two beers and leaned against the door frame. "So here's the thing. I do have Bollywood. I do have Kung Fu movies. And you know that."

"I do." Van blinked. Where was this going?

"And I'm irrationally angry that you mentioned them right now. So take the beer, drink it fast, because we have to talk and I don't want you to freak out." Jake walked to the couch and handed over the bottle. Maybe glass bottles weren't the best idea when he was about to say what he was about to say.

Van did as told and gulped his beer. He edged himself further into the corner of the couch. "Okay? Hit me. Why are you angry that I know about your Asian movie collection? It's not like it's a secret." The condensation from the bottle dripped over his fingers.

"No. Truth or dare, pick one." Jake stared at the floor, at his hands clasped together, anywhere but at Van's face.

"Are you high then? It doesn't smell like you've been smoking up, what's going on?" Van finished his beer and shoved the bottle to the table.

"I don't smoke. I'm not insane. Will you answer the damned question? You're going to have to deal with both of them. So pick your starting poison." Jake's palms were sweating. He could feel the flush spreading from his chest and up his neck.

"Right. And I'm supposed to be the crazy one. Good to know. I'll make sure to straighten that out with any interviews we do in the next year." Van brushed his hair from in front of his eyes. "Shit. You're serious. Okay, okay. Truth it is. Sounds safer." He stared at the black screen of the huge TV on the wall.

Jake breathed deep. "Not what I was expecting. Here goes. Just listen." His stomach hurt. "Yeah, so today, we had this scene right? And it's been fine between us. We're friends. You like me. I like you. And there's been no kissing. No touching. For over 200 days. Which has been great, because then I don't have to deal with all these things about life imitating art and lame shit like that." He held his hand up when Van tried to interrupt. "You said truth first, and even though it's usually the other way, I'm going first. My rules. So shut up. The thing of it all is that today was just weird. And it's been building to this weirdness for awhile between us. But then you slipped me the tongue on set and now I didn't want to drink my beer because I just wanted to hold on to the taste of mint and you for a little bit longer. After, Van, after you said you just wanted space and implied that if anything was off, it was on my end. But that's bullshit, and you know it. You fucking frenched me on camera, Hansis. We were both there."

"Jake, I was kidding. It was a dare. You take things too seriously." Van studiously avoided Jake's eyes. "I'm hungry. Can we eat and forget this happened?" He wanted to roll his eyes, but his stomach hurt and he didn't want to talk about it. Ever. It had been a stupid move and now everything was screwed up.

"Not yet."

"Yes yet. Now. Look, if you're going to get your panties in a twist about a little fun, I'll just leave. Give me a minute to grab my half of the food. You don't have to pay me. Consider us even." Van stood up. He stuffed his hands in his pockets to hide their nervous shake.

"Wait just a second." Jake stood up and somehow managed to get up in Van's space. His voice was all rough and low and desperate. "So maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I am the asshole. But we need to stop these games before we get fired or you get outed or something. So, shit. Look. Let's make it even. Say 'Dare' and let me, and then, it'll be done. We'll watch Kung Fu and eat Indian and call it a night."

Van hated the whisper of his voice, rich with something he didn't want to name. "Dare."

Jake tucked one hand into the small of Van's back and skidded the other up to cup his chin. "Let me do this, just once. Please." He took the slightest nod as assent and tipped his head. Timid at first, Jake let his lips brush over Van's. There was no camera, no lights, no booms, no directions. There was beer and mint and that scent of Van. Jake touched the tip of his tongue to his friend's mouth and waited to be punched in the eye or the jaw or the balls. He pushed his luck and his mouth further, testing, waiting, being there.

"God, Jake. This is a bad idea." Van's hands fisted into Jake's hair and pulled him closer. He licked into his co-star's mouth and thought of a million reasons why this shouldn't be happening, why they shouldn't be doing this, and all of them seemed really really dumb. Urgency scorched across Van's senses and he wanted more and more. Jake tasted like honesty, sex and toothpaste. "A really bad idea."

"I know." Jake's voice faltered as he licked across Van's jaw and bit his ear. "But you started it." He sucked on Van's lower lip, slipped his tongue back in to memorize the feel of his mouth. "You've been daring me to do things almost since we met. And they kept getting more and more intense and then I realized that, well, this. I wanted this. Right here. My tongue in your mouth. Your hands on my skin. I wanted what Noah was too much of an idiot to get from Luke. And I was not about to one-upped by a character on a soap, even if I play him."

"Jake, stop talking. You talk too much. Just kiss me again before we both come to our senses. Go ahead." He winked. "I dare you."

Um, I may just love this to a ridiculous degree. Jake talking about J2! The secret explanation for the kiss with tongue! Truth or dare kissing! So adorable.

Damnit, why did Luke always have to be such a pussy about being physical? Couldn't he be the aggressor just once?

That's the real question. Seriously, Luke, get it in gear.

Also, this totally cracked me up: Maybe this was why he didn't have a contract? He wasn't subtle enough about the sloppy mistakes in their storyline. I love the idea of Jake being too WTF? to sell the crappy plot.

How could they not talk about J2 if they're discussing fanfic? I wasn't sure if that was too cheesy, but it was too much fun to resist.

I'm glad you liked it. And I'm glad you liked the questions I made Jake ask, because yeah, someone has to be complaining about the plot by now, and how can anyone acting as the person who Luke is in love with not wonder why Luke is written so wimpy?

dkfajkhfajshfajklghfad!!!! I feel like I've been doing that a lot when it comes to reading your stories.

This was AMAZING. You captured their personalities perfectly. Like I can actually see this happening. RIGHT NOW. Well, I can always see Jake and Van happening, but yeah. :-D They're totally gay for each other, trufax!

But Jake mentioning J2? BEST. THING. EVER. If you ever wrote a Jake/Van/Jared/Jensen crossover I may faint.

This was hilarious, too. I never laughed so much about a fic in my life. Van was completely endearing.

There will be more, yes? :-D With smexin' next time? :-D I kind of want to have your babies right now.

I've never written j2 and i want to do it really badly but i'm absolutely terrified of the idea. I want to write a Grease re-do j2 style, with Jared as an honorary pink lady.

I think there will be more. I intended for there to be more. Well, no, that's not quite true. I intended for there to be none of this, but now that I'm going to hell, I figure I better get some boysmexin' out of the deal.

Wow, I just could not stop laughing. This seriously has to be one of the cutest, funniest, strangely realistic fics I've ever read. I love Jake's knowledge about the fandom world. And J2! They're like legendary it's going to be hard to beat them. I think Jensen Jared do it on purpose honestly. Jake and Van's voices were just so real. And the rewriting of the kiss scenes was amazing! Ohhh, I want a sequel of a Jake/Van/Jared/Jensen crossover. X3