Monday, March 6

All the ladies love the Clooney

Can anybody remember an Oscar ceremony when Salma Hayek's breasts weren't the high point of the evening? This year, it was all about celebrating the silver-haired lotharioism of George Clooney. What a night, what a man! He swept up the first Oscar and the madly palpitating hearts of every woman in the process of doing so. Indeed it was hard to ignore all the cleavage that turned out in support of him. Once the awards were handed out, the competition definitely didn't stop there.

Oscar tradition dictates that the best supporting actor and actress go home together, no matter how heavily pregnant one of them may be.

Remember me George? I'm not the same petulant young ingenue who made out ferociously with you in Out of Sight. I've changed George..changed so much...just give me a chance and you'll see how different I am now...

Back off Aniston, I'm going after him. Don't try anything funny like flipping your hair or I'll punch you in the face again.

Looking for a good time baby? Why don't you buy us a drink and hang out for a little while? Let's get to know each other better. We'll even throw in a discount because you won an Oscar.

I know how much you like breasts so I had some drawn in for you.

Don't look there, look over here! Just follow the arrows and you won't get lost.

Hey George, you do realize that I have these, right?

Señor Clooney, I believe you were looking for these?

Ahem. George, I believe you were looking for these.

UPDATED!Sorry girls, the man's made his choice. Rest assured he'll have somewhere to rest his weary Oscar figurine tonight.

It's a shame that as I was laughing about the Felicity Huffman comment, a secretary passed my office and asked me what I was laughing about. The reply "Boobies" just raised more questions than it answered.