Every time. Period.

“Sexual infidelity (and by this I mean any sexual liaison outside of the one-flesh marriage union) isn’t dangerous primarily because of its temporal consequences. These consequences are quite real, of course, and they are devastating. It is dangerous because it repudiates the gospel, molests the icon of Christ and his church, and forms another, malevolent spiritual union that cannot be disentangled when the situation is left behind.

In our time pornography has become the destroying angel of male Eros. I don’t mean to suggest that pornography is only a male temptation (it is not), but pornography, because of the way a man has been designed toward arousal, is, when available, a universal male temptation. It has come to the point now that whenever I meet with a couple in which there is a man who is an emotional shell of himself – dead to intimacy with his wife – and a marriage is fraying apart, I ask how long the pornography has been going on. In every case it’s there.” (83)