Monday, December 30, 2013

Josh has learned to read and become really good at it. However, he reads fast and guesses at a lot of words. It is fine really, we all do it, it is just something you learn over time to read the words correctly. So Josh was doing this today and it was really funny.

I have these magnets on the fridge. They say "I kiss better than I cook" and "I'd give up chocolate, but I'm no quitter." Josh and Caleb were playing in the kitchen and I overhear this:

Caleb: "Josh, can you read what this says?"
Josh: "Sure, um...'I kiss butter, than I cook.' What? She kisses butter? Then she cooks?"
Caleb erupts into little giggles. "I have never seen her kiss butter!"

Several seconds go by with giggling and "kiss butter" being said.

Caleb: "So what does this one say?"
Josh: "I'd giiiive oh give, I'd give up chocolate, but I am no quieter. Haha, no Mama doesn't get any quieter when she eats chocolate."
Caleb: "Yeah, she still talks a lot."

A little offensive, but very funny. I don't think I will ever look at my magnets the same.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

For the last month or so I really have not felt like writing. It is a very weird feeling for me, I have never ever been one to keep my fingers quiet. :) So I am hoping if I just force myself to write, something will come to me.

Things have been beyond busy around here. I still feel that four kids is much harder than three, for me anyways. I have four adorable kids and they are all good kids, I just think the ages of them and their different personalities are harder right now than they have been before. I get tired and drained easy, but I also feel a constant flow of energy and support from Heaven. That may sound weird, but I know that is where it is coming from. There are a lot of people praying for me and my little ones, and so many people coming to help me in the instant I need it.

Little Andrew just gets cuter by the day. I still have yet to get a picture of him smiling, but it is the cutest smile. He looks so much like Josh when he was a baby, olive skin tone, dark hair and eyes that aren't quite brown but too dark to be blue, so a murky blue I guess. He has long hands and feet and sweet little lips and just one dimple, not two. Seriously precious. He has been a difficult baby mostly because he seems like he is in pain all the time. There is the normal cranky baby-ness, but I knew this was different. Matthew had a temper from day 1 and I could just ignore it because I knew it was just his personality, but little Andrew, he is not an angry person. So when he cries it just makes me sad. So with a lot of prayer and adjusting, I think we have figured out what is causing a lot of the problems. He doesn't like it when I have lactose milk and chocolate. The milk hurts him and the chocolate makes him spit up a lot. No idea why, but that is the case. He also has reflux and so he is spitting up a lot (I do two loads of laundry a week at least, just for him), but the tummy acid that comes up causes him pain. So now, he has medicine for that. I am not a huge fan of medicine, especially constantly taking it, but I tried all the other natural stuff first and it only helped in small degrees. So I am thankful for medicine now because it is making the little guy, and me, happier.

Matthew is adorable and annoying. He really has a split self. He is sooo cute and happy and charming, but gets into soooo much trouble and causes fights and screams and throws MASSIVE tantrums. It really blows me away because I have never had a kid that will throw a tantrum without warning (usually they get whiny or I know they are tired). Nope, not Matthew. He will be happy and laughing and then flip and scream and kick and jump up and down. Honestly, it is funny, but not when we are in public, but that rarely happens thank goodness. He is slowly starting to talk, in real words, not in charades. He says "bus" now instead of the sound it makes: "Chshhhh" He says "math" when he wants to do preschool and "sauce" for applesauce. So we are getting somewhere. :)

I was going to write more about the older two and Logan, but alas, they are now demanding lunch and my constant attention. I love being loved and needed. And I guess it works forcing myself to write, kind of works. :) Hopefully it doesn't take another month to write again...but we shall see.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Thank to my mom, I actually have picture from Halloween. I have such a hard time remembering to take photos when they are all cute. Josh and Caleb kept changing their costumes. Caleb was a pumpkin and Josh was Batman for the church party, but then Josh's costume bugged him. So he was a "ghost" for Halloween day because it was the only thing that I could find that didn't touch his neck. Seriously, the things that bother kids amazes me, and it reminds me of the many things I refused to wear that I thought were good reasons in my childhood. My poor mom...

Since Tyson was out of town for some of the Halloween celebrations, I am so thankful Carmel hung out with me and the boys and kept me from going insane. She painted the cutest little tiger face on Matthew and I'm really sad I didn't get a good picture of that, because it was adorable. And then she and my Mom took the two older boys trick or treating. They LOVED it. It was fun seeing them as kind of big boys. It is so weird how they are all growing up.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Logan: (coughing) When I cough that means I have a cold in my body.
Caleb: No it doesn't Logan.
Logan: Yes, it does.
Caleb: No, Logan, you can't have a cold in your body.
Logan: Cami, when I cough does it mean I have a cold in my body?
Me: Um, kind of.
Logan: Did you hear that Caleb? Your mom said I was right.
Caleb: (muttering) No, she didn't.

It is quite comical that they have all these debates, because they get along so well, and then these questions come up and they both have such firm opinions.

Here is another funny from the day:

me: (looking at the calendar) Caleb, did you know your birthday is 9 days away?
Caleb: (gets big eyes and looks excited) Did you know that some like it in a pot nine days old?

I almost spit the water out I had just gulped. I mean, I understand that 9 days would remind him of the nine days old, but still, how random. I didn't even know he knew that little rhyme.

Like my mom always says, what do people do for entertainment when they don't have kids?

Monday, September 30, 2013

Started preschool with the boys today. It is pretty simple, but we didn't have any bored moments today (hooray!). We don't have a tight schedule, but snacks are around 10 and 2 (it keeps them from moaning for food all day long) and lunch is at noonish. They can play outside whenever they want and all their hunts for acorns and yes, dinosaur bones keep them out there for long stretches of time. They love it and so do I.

Then for about 20 min we have a lesson (following http://allinonehomeschool.com/) It works great (you know, the one day we have tried it). :) It is good for the different levels all my boys are in and it doesn't take long if they don't want it to.

And it makes me feel like I am actually accomplishing things with the kids not just fighting against them.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

It really is insane how quickly my little people grow. Andrew is now 7 1/2 weeks old. He kind of smiles now, but most of his smiles are for Daddy. He is sleeping much better and WAY happier. I cut out milk and pretty much all chocolate from my diet and we try to keep to a pretty consistent schedule and that has helped him a lot. He has a cold right now, which totally stinks, but he is handling it pretty well, minus the puking a lot, but at least he breaths okay. He is so precious and since he is happier, Tys and him hang out more, which is really cute. The older boys all still love him and get super cute when they try to help him. Love it. He wants to be held all the time which I really don't mind, I just don't get to very often. Little moments where I can, I just soak it up.

Sadly, since Josh has been at school, I never take pictures of him. I will have to change that. But I did take a picture of one of his school papers. "I like the Bune in my picture." Yes, it is a bunny and he spelled it how it sounds. Completely adorable. He is usually pretty happy when he hops off the bus (he loves his bus driver, Tracy, she seriously is amazing). We eat a snack and he tells us about his day and shows us his work, it is so much fun. There are meltdown moments, but not nearly as many as I thought we would have. I love hearing about all his buddies and the snacks he has and what he did. It is bizarre to think most of his time awake, he isn't home with me. Tys and I still have mixed emotions about it, but I know he is way happier at school then he would be here at this time in his life and he is learning much better too. He is so much better learning with others. I do love it once he gets home. It doesn't seem right until the whole family is together.

Then there is my crazy Caleb. He has really stepped up since Josh went to school. He helps me SOO much and rarely has whiny days (but when he does, he makes up for lost time, lol). He loves baby Andrew and is so quick to help him be happy. He loves to laugh and be silly. This is him being a walrus (apple pieces) in case you were wondering. Seriously, the kid is so much like how I remember being as a kid, so silly. He loves to run around outside chasing squirrels with his buddy, Logan. The other day they were raptors pretending to go to school. Hilarious. They had backpacks and created an imaginary bus and everything. I love this age. And I love this little guy.

And my ham. Oh Matthew. He still loves to push EVERYONE'S buttons. He is so full of life and energy. The kid never stops moving, even in his sleep. He has such a different build than his brothers too. He is stocky and tough looking, like a mini football player. Tys and I were talking about this today and then a few hours later, I found him outside throwing a football around. So it really wouldn't surprise me if loves sports. His vocabulary is growing...slowly, but it is growing. He mostly still just says "uh huh" all day long, but there are other words too like "gur-gurl" for squirrel and...okay, mostly the same words like "Josh" and "ruff ruff" for shoes and "ka-ker" for basically any type of food or drink, and when he wants something he goes "MaMA! Mon!" and drags me wherever he wants to go and points. He does have conversations with us, we just have no clue what he is saying. I'm sure he will get there. But why speak when you can get whatever you want without using the energy? Haha, that is totally my fault.

But yeah, I love my little munchkins. We have our moments where I want to tear my hair out but the little moments where they kiss me with their snotty grubby faces, well, it totally makes up for it. :)

Monday, September 23, 2013

I was reminded of how fragile and precious mortality is this weekend. Luckily nothing terrible happened to my little family, but there are always moments where I think, "wow, that was close, how are we all still alive?" (Of course there are thousands of moments like that every day, I have four boys). We had lots of moments like that this weekend, but there was one that keeps sticking with me.

Josh and I went on a little Mama-son date night Friday night. We went to see "Oklahoma," a play my brother is in. When we went to get in the car, we saw a little squirrel on the ground not running away. It was just a little baby and so precious. It wasn't moving much, so I figured it fell out of the tree or something, but I hoped his mom would come and rescue him or something.

Turns out he wasn't rescued and the next morning he was still there, still alive, but barely. I felt horrible. Tys and I wished there was something we could do. The boys told us we should take it to the hospital or vet. I wanted to, but what on earth would we do, "Hi, we would like to pay whatever it takes to heal this little guy." Yeah, not happening since we don't have that kind of cash.

I tried to explain that to the boys and that Daddy and I didn't know how to heal a little squirrel. So they both (Josh and Caleb) vowed they would both become veterinarians so that if animals ever were sick, they could heal them. I think that is a great idea.

Tys was awesome and took care of the little creature as best he knew how so that it wouldn't suffer any longer than necessary. But we both felt miserable. The baby was seriously adorable and we didn't know how to make it better.

Then of course there are moments like this that make it sound even worse:
(the boys were talking to Grandma Cooper via Skype)
Josh: Oh Grandma, there was a baby in our yard that was sooo cute, but it was sick!
Caleb: Yeah, and it was dying and so Daddy killed it and now it is in heaven.
me (from across the room): It was a baby squirrel, not a baby human!!

Horrible, but hilarious.

But this was beyond precious:
Caleb praying:
"Dear Heavenly Father, please bless the little baby squirrel. He is dead and in heaven. Bless him to be resurrected."

I don't think there is anything more precious than the heart felt prayer of a little one.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

This blog is mostly all about my boys: Tyson and the four little munchkins we made, and then my babysittees (since basically everyone I babysit are boys too). But, for the past three and a half years I have had a huge section of my life that has been just girls.

For anyone who doesn't understand the inner workings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, almost always each member of the church is giving a calling, or an assignment. This gives not only a feeling of purpose, but also helps each of us work in unity to take care of each other and help each of us to draw closer to our Savior. My calling for the past several years has been working with the young women (girls ages 12-18) in our ward (or congregation).

I have LOVED it. The girls are hilarious and so kind. I have found so much solace whenever I am with them. I have taught them, and they have taught me, and with several of the girls I have become their friend. It is such a wonderful feeling to belong with them, to know I was loved. And I love them. And as my whole life is surrounded with boys, I cannot even begin to express how much of a blessing it was to actually be with girls, to cry and feel normal. And the other leaders I have worked with are incredible. They are like superwomen and have taught me so much. They have become some of my closest friends.

Well, this last Sunday, I was released from my calling. It is normal, we all have different assignments and the Lord knew someone else was needed to work with the young women and I (hopefully) learned and taught everything I needed to. I know if my heart that this is how it needs to be and I feel (as cliché as this sounds) at peace with it. There really is no other way to describe it, because I am not really happy about it.

It will just be so weird to be at church and go to the normal classes (like with the women that are my own age) and not be with my girls. But I am so excited to watch them from the sidelines now, to see them grow up and I know it will be okay because I will still be here and get to hear all their stories and excitement for life. My heart just hurts a little.

It is probably ridiculous to be in this state of mourning, but since change always makes me a little sad and writing is how I process, you get to read this soppy story. :)

Good news is, change also makes me excited. It means surprises are in the future. I don't know what the Lord has in store for me next. It could be anything. I could be asked to be a leader or arrange chairs or coordinate parties, or work with cub scouts (I would have even more boys to write about lol), or have no calling at all. That is okay, because I still have a purpose, to do all I can to lead people to Christ. I'm excited about that.

Several months ago, Tyson sat down with the three boys and discussed what they wanted in a tree house should they get one. See here for that post about their planning/scheming. It was adorable their long list of things.

Tyson has wanted to build a tree house for the boys for a long time now. After he talked to the boys, he went outside, found the right trees and then made a plan. Tyson is a detailed person, so a lot of thinking and mapping went into it.

When his mom and dad came after we had baby Andrew, then they used some of this time to start on the project. We used two big posts from the fallen carport to use as the main supports (that and the tree), and then built the main base.

Tyson cut off some small limbs in the way and then painted the base.

Tyson is so attractive, especially when he is working. :)

That is how far we have gotten since it is expensive and pretty time consuming. And I am not much help with the little man cub with me basically all day long.

So the next step is to add a railing and then build the house part of it. I'm sure it will take awhile to complete, especially if we had any of the things the boys really want like stairs and carpet and oh yeah, a pool that they can swing off the tree and jump into. Just small stuff like that.

For sure though, the ladder will be the last thing added. That way they can't get in it without us until it is ready.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

I am a die hard romantic. I love romantic comedies, I love cute (not sleazy) romantic novels, I love any love story. Seriously, I have spent countless nights staying up late reading them, giggling like a little girl and crying with the characters.

It is ridiculous.

But not.

Love is the most beautiful thing. All emotions are strong and powerful and Satan tries to mimic the emotion of love with lust, but it is nothing like it.

It may seem weird but love almost feels like an energy.

I have been so blessed with my relationship with Tyson. He is my very best friend. The whole world can feel horrible and sad and stressful, and then Tyson walks in the door and everything is set right. It is like all the bad stuff just dissolves when he is near.

We have are disagreements and he does often drive me nuts, but that just makes me love him more. And it is true that we fell in love really fast and we are pretty perfect for each other, but we also have to work at staying in love. Falling in love is easy, staying that way when everything around you is changing, and you are changing, isn't easy. But it is fun when you make it that way and the results are wonderful.

The other night, I woke up with little Andrew, fed him, burped him, changed him, swaddled him and rocked him, put him back in bed and then with sheer exhaustion literally crawled into bed. I was just going to lay on my pillow and slip into slumber, but I rolled over a little and touched my forehead to Tyson's. He was completely asleep and didn't respond in any way, but I felt an energy from him. It may sound weird, but even unconscious, I could feel his love for me. It somehow helped me be not so weary, to feel happy even when I felt so worn out and frustrated.

I don't know what all the rest of our lives hold or how difficult they will be, but I'm excited to be more and more in love with my Tyson.

It is like loving my kids, it always amazes me how I can love them all and love them so intensely. I don't know how it is possible to love Tyson more than the day before, but it is, and I love it.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Okay, so anyone who knows me knows I break out into song at random moments. My kids are super used to this and will either ignore it completely or look at me and smile. They probably think I am crazy.

Well, Logan, my babysittee, really hates my singing. Every time I start he plugs his ears and tells me to stop. At first it really hurt my feelings. What? He doesn't like my voice? But I got used to it.

Now I have a new tactic: Torture. If he doesn't like it, I will make him listen.

Monday, September 9, 2013

It is probably because my little Matthew turned 2 yesterday, but I keep thinking my little kids are growing up so fast. Matthew is so big and he is finally starting to say more than "Momma, Dadda, Bebe" and of course, "crackers." He has such an attitude sometimes, but he is so adorable he gets away with it almost 100% of the time. It really isn't good.

We had his party yesterday and thanks to both my mom and Tyson's mom, we had these adorable cupcakes. During the party, Josh was building a tower and Matthew ran up and knocked it over. Josh got mad and screamed at Matthew, then started bawling. Really nothing new, but he told me his tooth hurt.

me: "Well, were you clenching your teeth when you got mad at Matthew?"
Josh: "yeah..."
me: "Well, that hurts your teeth, so learn to not freak out so bad."
Josh: "But now my tooth is loose!" (giant wail)
me: "oh my word..."

After rolling my eyes, I check his tooth expecting him to be totally exaggerating and yup it was loose. I had to turn around and do breathing excercises to keep from crying. I know, totally ridiculous. But my kid is going to loose his first tooth!! I was just getting used to him being in Kindergarten. How dare he decide to grow up even more? :)

He hasn't lost the tooth yet, but I'm sure Tys or I will take the pliers to it soon since any time he takes a bite of food he starts complaining that it hurts and I just don't think we can take it much longer. I mean cereal, how can that possibly hurt when it is your front tooth? But, I don't really remember being 5 and how a loose tooth feels, so I will withhold judging the kid too much.

As for my other children, they are growing too. Caleb is learning to tell time, it is adorable.

me: "Caleb, what time is it?"
Caleb: "Um, the little hand is at the 10 and the big hand is between the 4 and the 5."
me: "perfect, thanks Caleb."

Yeah, I'm not great with explaining what that means, I just need to know the time when I am stuck on the couch feeding the baby. It kind of slips my mind to help my kids understand beyond the obvious. :)

And get this: baby Andrew only woke up once last night and only twice the night before that. Huzza, huzza. Plus, today he hasn't been too cranky during the day. I am feeling pretty much human, it is great. And we went to the park today with no melt downs. It is a good day.

Caleb is SO sweet with Andrew. He can always get him to stop crying.

Thank you so much to everyone for being so nice and sympathetic with the many rough days so far. I don't know for everyone else, but I heard lots of people say that once you get past 3 kids, it isn't a big deal. Well, that isn't true for me. I think 4 is way harder, just in different ways. But it is still in the first 90 days, so things may change later. :) (Tyson says Andrew has a 90 day probation period)

It has been so nice now that Andrew doesn't cry as much. I notice that he really has a cute face that I am just in love with. I can't stop kissing and snuggling him. I guess I am a pretty lucky woman.

Tys and his dad working on the treehouse

I made a cake for Carmel's 16th birthday. Just so you know I had to work REALLY hard to get it to tilt like that so she would look like a volleyball Barbie, okay? Don't judge my skills. :)

Love how mad Andrew is and Matthew is just focused on the camera.

Our teddy bear party today at the park.

I don't have any pictures of Josh and his loose tooth, but never fear, I will get that documented.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Welcome to my home. The likelihood of you witnessing either a fight, meltdown or temper tantrum while you are here is probably 100%. So you should probably stay away. Most of the first 2 hours of my day, I kind of wished I could.

But Matthew finally fell asleep after waking up before 5am (that is when we first heard him). And Andrew slept for at least an hour without waking up shrieking (that just ended though). So I must end this post.

However, we are finally getting into a sort of routine. Today is Logan's first day back in our home, so now, without any more holidays and such for awhile, we can start getting things back to normal and hopefully I will start posting once a day. Anyone that has any good ideas for homeschooling preschool tips or ideas or programs that work well, please let me know. I really want to do fun things with the boys that help them learn.

It is good to have a routine. :) I just hope that cuts back on the crankiness.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Every night we brush the boys' teeth before bed. It is just part of the daily rituals. Josh and Caleb are pretty good about completing this task by themselves, but we give Josh the breath test, because you really can never be too sure. And little Caleb, well, he will wander the house for 15 minutes basically chewing on his toothbrush and never really getting any teeth clean. So we always check his teeth before he gets the okay.

Matthew on the other hand loves to brush everything but his teeth. So we have him get his toothbrush, bring it to us and we basically pin him down and brush his little chompers. Several days ago, Matthew brought his toothbrush to Tyson and it was already pretty wet. We assumed that either Matthew had been chewing on it and covered it in drool or Caleb or Josh had been nice enough to get it wet for him in the sink. Either way, we didn't care, so Tyson brushed him teeth and then sent him back to the bathroom to put it away.

That is when a little fight between Caleb (who is in the bathroom supposedly brushing) and Matthew begins.

Both Tyson and I jumped up and ran to the bathroom, not in enough time though. And sadly two little boys had already used the toilet and hadn't flushed yet. That toothbrush quickly went into the trash.

The only thing we wondered about was, how exactly did his toothbrush get wet before the brushing? And did we brush his teeth with urine?

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

We are starting to get used to our new routine and life. Next week I start babysitting again, so that will be another adjustment, but I am sure it will be a good one. Andrew is doing better about his schedule too which is nice, I don't feel like I am feeding him every two seconds anymore. He is sleeping now. Caleb quickly does his chores in the morning so he can play on the Kindle Fire for a little bit. It is pretty cute. Matthew...well, he is cute, but man alive, he is a holy terror. I have been trying to really be consistent and punish him accordingly (he has a habit of charming his way out of things). It is no easy thing sticking with what I say I am going to do. :)

Little Josh is loving school. And after my one incident of missing the bus, I was there 20 minutes early yesterday and just sat there with little Matthew waiting for him. He said when he hopped off, "I LOVE school! I just want to stay there ALL day long!" Then he preceded to tell me everything he could remember for the next hour. After awhile I couldn't really understand what he was saying and my brain hurt, but I kept looking interested, cuz it is just so cute that he wanted me to know everything. He is so precious and way to grown up looking.

I better go so I can do the dishes before the "bebe" wakes up. But before I do, funny story time:

I made brownies on Sunday that had coconut and chocolate chunks in them (delish, you should totally try it). Josh takes a bite and goes, "MOOOM! Do these brownies have onions in them?!"
I guess coconut looks like onions and since I am always hiding onions in the food because they think they hate them, he was very suspicious. He almost didn't eat it, but I guess it was so good he didn't care.

Monday, August 19, 2013

These past few weeks have been crazy, but so much fun. Little Andrew (I am still getting used to saying his name) is so darling and precious. Most of the time he is an angel of a child. At night though...not so much. It is probably because I am only half awake and he won't go right to sleep. But he is SOOOO cute. I love the little baby faces he makes and the tiny smiles in his sleep. Even his crying is sweet (except when I want to sleep, then not so cute). We have had lots of doc appointments and trips to the hospital lab to get tested for jaundice. We became pros and everyone in the lab knew us. It was great. :) But now his levels are good, so no more trips there, thankfully.

Mom and Dad Cooper are with us and they have been such a blessing. I get to nap so much, and thanks to Mom C and Cassie and Dallin, the meals have been amazing. Dad C does dishes and takes Andrew when I can't get him to stop crying, he even gave the three older boys their Sunday bath (a task I don't really like since they HATE washing their hair and Matthew basically screams like a drowning cat the entire time).

Plus, I have received 2 1/2 lemon meringue pies since the hospital, which I have personally devoured. Okay, I shared a little bit, but not much. There must be something that I NEED in them because I crave them more than I craved anything while I was pregnant. They are soooo deliciously divine. I really don't know if I could ever get enough of them. It is probably a good thing I haven't learned how to make them yet or I really would never loose my baby weight. Surprisingly I have lost quite a bit of it. I am still a little pudgy around the middle, but not bad. It feels great to be getting back to normal so quickly.

The only thing that seems to be taking a long time being normal is my eye sight. I still am having a hard time reading and right now, all the words are a bit blurry. I wonder if that was pregnancy eye stuff, or if I really am just getting old. :)

So the in-laws are here, which I am loving, and then my mom got back two days ago from visiting my sister, Kenni. I am sad for Kenni because I wish she had some of our family closer to her (I really wish that family was me too), but I'm glad Mom got to be there, and I'm really glad she is back. I have gotten way too spoiled with her living so close.

Yesterday at church, Tyson was able to bless little Andrew. My Dad even took some time off work so he could be there, which meant a lot to me. I love baby blessings. It gives such insight into who the Lord sees this little one becoming, it gives a glimpse of their potential. It is such a neat thing to see Tyson worry so much about the blessing before hand. That has been one of the neatest things about being married, I get to see the Priesthood at work at a very closer level. I didn't realize so much thought and humility went into all the things he does when he uses the Priesthood authority that he has. It is very inspiring. And I am very excited to see my little Andrew grow up and the man he will be.

I used to think I would be a mom to little kids forever. Somedays it still feels like that, but I am starting to see how quickly that changes. Little Andrew looks a lot like Joshua when he was a baby, so it gives me a lot of flashbacks to almost six years ago. I can still remember so much of it like it was just a few weeks ago, or even this morning. How could six whole years have flown by? Tyson pointed out last night that we have already had Josh for a 1/3 of the time we will have him home with us. WHAT?! I thought. Okay, I know that sounds a little weird, but think about it. Six years has flown by, I only get 12 more until he is all grown up.

Then there is him going to school. Today was his first day of Kindergarten. It only lasted an hour or so, but tomorrow will be a full day. So much of his day will be out of my influence. He will meet people I don't know, hear lots of things I would rather he didn't, experience things that I am not a part of and may never learn about. It pulls at my heart and makes my throat tighten, almost like I am being a little strangled.

Should I really let him do this? Would homeschooling him be better? Should I drive him so he doesn't ride the bus?

But I know that isn't how it should be. I know he needs to learn how to resist temptation and not repeat things that he knows aren't good. I know he can be an incredible influence for good for people that really need it. I know hiding him away and hoping the world doesn't reach him wouldn't be good for any of us. Homeschooling is great for some kids and some families, but I prayed about it a lot, and I know I need to let him go to school. I just hope my influence and teachings will be stronger than anyone else's. And I hope that my influence is actually a good one. :)

Being a parent is so much more than I ever imagined. And how on earth am I old enough to have a kid that is going to school?

Thursday, August 8, 2013

It is not just difficult for me to adjust having a baby. I forget that there are other creatures in my house that are affected as well. True, they are not sore from pushing the 14cm head out of them, but they still have to deal with a lot of changes too.

Tyson has been amazing and taking care of the three older kids pretty much all day, ever day. Especially for the first few days when I felt like I was a complete train wreck and couldn't remember how to feed a newborn, or change him, or get him to stop crying. Oh and deal with pain, pain in lots of areas that are unpleasant. Then the milk came in and that is always a blessing and a curse. All I could think of was "I am never having another one," and "how did I convince myself to do this AGAIN?"

But it has only been 5 days and things are already looking much better. I think me and the wee one are feeling much more human and in less pain. We kind of have a routine and we are both kind of sleeping. So things are looking up. :) Plus, holding that little bundle of love, I just melt. He is so cute the way his whole body scrunches up into a little lump and he just falls asleep. I love the weird open one eye just to a slit and look around, then shut it again, like he is checking to see if it is safe or worth waking up for. Or how if anything brushes his cheek or mouth he starts freaking out with his mouth wide open like a baby bird. I just love him. The whole 9 months of discomfort and the post-birthing adjustment are totally worth it.

His big brothers adore him. This morning, they all huddled around his little bouncer and just kept oohing and aahing over him. "His lips are so tiny!" "Look at his hands Mama, they are so little!" "Isn't his face just so cute?" "Haha, did you hear that noise, he sounds like a squirrel!"

Every morning, Matthew comes running into my room with his arms spread wide and says "Bebe?" He kisses and kisses his head when he finally finds him. The other day I realized Matthew wasn't in the front room with me and found him in the back trying to feed the baby a water bottle. I am so thankful I found him when I did because poor Andrew was basically being water logged. It is terrifying, but so sweet how they all just adore the "bebe."

They also are having some not so fun side effects. Like how Josh is freakishly emotional. I know it is the age, and the fact that he is scared and excited for school to start, but I think having just one more change as huge as adding a new kid in the house, has really thrown him for a loop. I tell him to go get dressed and you would think I told him we were shipping him to Africa to live by himself. He wailed and collapsed to the floor and then ran around the house screaming and moaning. Yesterday he was so upset by something he cried until he puked. I just kind of sit there with big eyes, totally mystified as to how I should handle the situation. I don't even know where to begin.

Then there is Caleb, who suddenly has forgotten how to be a little boy and cannot remember how to do anything we have taught him. He can't sleep through the night without wetting the bed (okay, not every night, but a few), he can't open child locks anymore, he can't turn on the water, he can't clean up or do his chores. "I can't do dat! I just can't!" How do you forget how to do things just because a baby was born? Someone please explain how that happens.

However, Matthew has been surprisingly normal. He even seems to have matured a little bit. He gets whiny sometimes, but nothing unusual. The only thing is now he seems HUGE to me. I can barely lift him. Hm, maybe I am like Caleb, I have lost my strength because I am used to just a little weight in my arms.

So today, Josh and Caleb were playing with some blocks on the window sill and Matthew kept bugging them. That is totally normal. The two older rug rats start whining and pushing Matthew away. So Matthew wanting to show them just how mean he can be, walks up and just swipes their whole building down.

"MATTHEW!!! That was MINE!!! He WWWWRRECKED IT!"
He just smiles a sneaky and proud smile.

So naturally, we put him in time out.

Matthew sits in the corner pouting, looking remorseful as he always does but never really is.

Tyson mentions something to him about how if he doesn't shape up, we will sell him to the gypsies next time they come around. That of course leads Josh to ask a million questions about gypsies. Tyson continues on that we would still get a good price for Matthew, but Andrew would sell for the most. Caleb, we might make some money on, but Josh wouldn't be worth selling (I guess the younger the kid, the more money you make on them. I am not totally sure, I would have to check with the next gypsy I meet).

So then Josh looks around with a giant smile, spreads his arms and says "Then all these toys would be mine!"

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

I don't know how long I have, so this might be quick. As I have been posting, for weeks now I have been having TONS of contractions and couldn't tell if they were real or not. So on the night of August 2, they started again but I didn't think much of it. I just know I could barely sleep. Tyson suggested I should read and hopefully that would take my mind of them. So I did and I promptly fell asleep. Until a few hours later, Matthew came in crying and he had a fever. Of course.

The two of us made a little nest on the couch in the front room and snuggled there until he got bored and wanted to play with his toys (at 2am). Being the mother I am, I let him play, and I read my book. Tys has a contraction app on his phone that he got just for me, so I used that to see how fast they were coming, about 10 minutes apart. Finally Matthew gave up with his toys and went to snuggle with Daddy. I tried to dissuade him, but he wouldn't leave, so I just went back to the couch. Around 5, I asked Tys to come join me on the couch cuz I felt lonely. He came to lay down and asked as I doubled over in pain, "do I need to call people?" because apparently I am not capable of actually telling him we need to go to the hospital.

"Yeah, probably a good idea."

Thankfully Dallin heard his phone and he and Cassie came right away, we left for the hospital and made it with much more time to spare than with Matthew (he was born 8 minutes after we got there).

The nurses took one look at my sheet and within minutes the whole room was set and ready to go. I was thinking "Why? I am only dilated to a 4." And my water hadn't even broken, I thought for sure they would send me home. Nope. They let me walk around and that was awesome, I had never had that luxury before. My friend, Em, had taught me some breathing techniques and by some miracle, even through transitioning and the whole labor process, I didn't take any drugs and I breathed without screaming. It was just a few hours though, but a huge deal for me.

I thought for sure it would take longer, but when my water broke, the nurse asked to check to see how dilated I was, she said 10, got the doctor and told me I could push anytime. I kept thinking, "there is no way."

But then it came time to push, and a few contractions passed and I didn't feel like pushing, I just felt like dying. That is when I screamed. :) But it didn't last long and at 9:03 am, the little guy came into the world.

I fell in love with him.

Now I can't believe I have four beautiful boys and the most incredible husband (and the boys got all their good looks from him).

Recovery process is not so easy this time around. I am in a lot of pain in a lot of different areas and I have to take special meds just to keep my blood from clotting in my leg. But in a few weeks, I will be drug free and hopefully in much less pain and me and the little guy will be in a routine and feel more like ourselves.

Even though it is SOOO not easy, just seeing a picture of these guys reminds me it is totally worth it.

Andrew "Squeaker" Thompson Cooper, 8lbs 8oz, 20in.

(He really sounds like a baby dragon when he cries and he squeaks a lot)

About Me

I am happily married to the handsomest guy, we have five adorable little boys, and I babysit two other little guys. Needless to say, life is full of mud, burping, jumping, rough housing, and some really great stories. I write because I love it and I want to remember the little moments. I DON'T make super gorgeous food and crafts, mostly everything I create ends up not looking like a magazine picture, but we have a lot of fun in the process. I love the Lord and I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, also known as a Mormon.