Not So Much An Open Book

Saturday, August 3, 2013

The other day I was talking to my friend, George
Stephanopoulos*, about his weekend.
George told me how a female friend of his held him hostage the entire
weekend while she cried over a break up.
He was there for her, bringing her food and giving her comforting words
and then the tears would start all over again. It got me thinking how nice it
would have been if he had known that she would cry for days. What if she came
with a manual and under the breakup section it had the following:

Break Ups:

*This woman will cry for 2 days.

*Be sure to have all errands ran and stock up on ice cream
and movies

.

Then I wondered what my instruction booklet would say
because every woman is different. And I gotta tell ya, being a woman is
difficult sometimes. There are the hormonal mood swings where I’m literally
checking the calendar and thinking Oh,
I’m just moody. I really wouldn't get hurt over something like this. Shake it
off. And days where I feel fat. Yeah, something is definitely happening to
me. Lately I’ve been feeling more girly than usual. Don’t get me wrong, I still
love my jeans and sneakers but recently I’m longing for the days were I wore
dresses and skirts regularly. I guess
I’m going to have to find a balance. I’ve gotten off topic, let’s bring it
back. Maybe I should add “gets off topic”
to my mine?

Before I go on, I want to say this is just for humor only
and I’ll only scratch the surface of me. I can’t let everything be known about
me. What’s that cliché? A woman’s heart is an ocean of secrets or something to
that effect. So without further ado I give you my instructions:

Sadness (someone yelled at her)

*If crying just hug and say “Shake it off”.

Sadness (argument with friend/family)

*Hug followed by “It’ll work out”. Be sure to take her side.

Sadness (death or terminal illness of loved one)

*Just hold her for as long as needed. No words.

Valentine’s Day

*Send her favorite flowers to work.

*Take her to dinner.

Birthday

*Dinner. No gifts. Not even she knows what she wants for her
birthday.

Competitions

Never let her win. She likes to beat you fair and square.

Quality Time

*One date a week.

How To Tell If She Likes You

*This woman does not come with that feature.

If only this were true. Guys, it’s really not that
complicated. Just know the woman you have chosen. Some women are high maintenance
and some just don’t care. They can be
mean or loving. They can put up a front
or a wall or they can let you in right away. Men seem to have it so easy. Too
easy almost. The rejection from a woman
is the only thing that can put a little hiccup in your day, but you bounce back
so quick. You guys take about 30 minutes
to get ready. How I wish that were true for me! You always seem stable and
hardly change over the years. I take at
least an hour to get ready. I constantly have my guard up. I hate losing to a guy. I’m both fascinated
and yet terrified of the opposite sex.
Even though it seems complicated, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Because
in all honesty, it feels good to be a woman.

Friday, July 19, 2013

Oftentimes I get asked why I don’t go back to school and get
my degree or seek a job with more money. My answer is time. I love the time I
have with my family. Sure, I can get my degree and make more but those are
hours with my family that I wouldn't be able to get back. They’re only little
once. Besides, we’re doing fine with what I make and what I have budgeted. I don’t
want to miss any games, plays or field days. Don’t get me wrong I LOVE
school, I just love family time much more. I cherish every water fight, every
game, every outing, basically every second I have with them. I want them to look back and remember all the
laughter and fun instead of me hitting the books and being too busy.

There will come a time when I’ll be able go back to school
and more. Perhaps I’ll even enroll when my youngest does. For now, though, they need me. I have a teen and what teen doesn't need
guidance? There’s no way I’ll pass that up. It’s not just the kids; it’s time
with my mother when she’s in town. When I’m off for the day, I can spend time
with her. It’s the time with my
siblings, even though it’s rare when we see each other, I treasure that.

I guess I’m pretty loyal to the titles: mother, daughter,
and sister. I do get “me time” and I enjoy it. I’m on a mini vacation from work
as I type. One that I did not plan too well for! Ha ha. I saw that both children would be away with
camps and I thought Hmmm, why not take
few days for myself? I really should have put more thought into this and
planned a weekend getaway or something.
I’m dreadfully bored and even the roommate has noticed how quiet the
house is without the kids. I've visited
and spent time with my peeps and have cleaned almost everything in this
house. Maybe next year I’ll add a line in
my budget just for a situation like this but this is the first time this
happened. Last year when I was alone I put in overtime so I wouldn't be bored.
Come to think of it, I didn't even take a full week off last year either! But I digress...

Some people have an awesome support system to where they can
go back like a spouse or parents and I think that’s great. But for me, it’s just me deciding how to spend time wisely. And with that, family comes first.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

I’ve had a best friend since second grade. Now it may not be
the same best friend but I’ve always had one since I was seven. I seem to get a
new one during different phases of my life. It happens. One of you moves away
or goes to another school or it could be that you just grow apart. Still, I love how
my close friends have been there for momentous occasions in my life. And yes,
at times my significant others became my best friend. But lately, I’ve been
finding myself becoming a loner. Not on purpose, but as adults we all have busy
lives and sometimes schedules don’t always match up. When ALL of your female
friends are married with children, you have to work around them. I still have my guy friends though, and they
are just as cool. The only thing is that I can’t talk to them about everything.
But they’re still cool.

When I first started my job five years ago, there was
something missing. I looked around and saw no one close to me in age. No
females in their 20’s?!?! How was I
going to survive? Who would I email? Who would get pop culture references and
random movie quotes??? Everyone was in
their 40’s and up. So I kept my head down and ignored everyone. I would put my headphones on and
just get work done. But I began to get lonely at work. I began wishing one of
my friends would get a job there just so I could dine with someone at lunch.

In one of my earlier blog posts “All They Can Do Is Say No”,
I revealed about taking chances and moving to different departments within the
company. I’m not sure how it started but
by my 3rd year there I began taking breaks with an older woman. We would go for walks on our breaks (we still
do) and vent or talk about things going on in our lives. I figure, why not? Let me try this
out and really give it a shot. The age
difference would provide some insight.
I’m glad I did. The woman had a
lot of inside information since she had been with the company for a long
time. Then I branched out and started talking
to all the older ladies in my section. When our department moved I found a coworker
closer to me in age (by this time I’m in my thirties).

I’m so glad I did this.
It has made work FUN. I come to the older ladies anytime I have a
dilemma that could use their expertise and once a woman sewed the hem on my
pants because she had a sewing kit and I ripped them somehow. And
with my young friend, I have someone to instant message about regarding clothes
and other girly things. We also have men
in our department and in my old department we didn't have any. I notice a huge difference with having men on the
team. Women can be emotional creatures.
The men balance us out a lot and I love hearing their suggestions. We
once had a video conference regarding my new haircut. I had a heart to heart talk with one of my
male coworkers and it felt good to get some things off of my chest. I’ll email him for advice on some things and
sometimes I’ll tell him when he is being too harsh on other employees (he’s a
lead).

During this loner phase, I’ve found that I have really grown
close to my coworkers. I love them and
their different personalities and I can't imagine not having them now. Recently, we gave out yearbook awards.
Everyone got a certificate and what they were voted as. I was voted Class Clown. There was Coolest Employee, Best Dressed,
Best Dancer, etc. etc. etc.

I love the social version of me a lot better than the quiet
employee that I used to be. I’m so late
on this revelation but it is true, friends are all around us, we just have to be
open to them.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

What would you do if you were seeing someone and things
seemed well, but then your ex whom you've recently gotten over has come back
into your life? And no, I’m not talking about me, lol, I never look back.
Someone close to me has this dilemma.

Healing FULLY after a breakup is important. I don’t believe
in seeing other people to get over someone. We’re all much stronger than that.
Pat* fell in love with the rebound. But
in recent events Pat’s ex has come back not knowing about the new love. Pat has
not told Ex about New Love but New Love knows about Ex. After discussing this,
I did get somewhat to the heart of the matter. New Love is good person and even
thought Pat has slight reservations regarding New Love, Pat feels that if they
break up and New Love leaves then what if that was Pat’s only chance to be with
someone who is as good as Pat has been with.

So to review we have Pat with strong feelings for New Love
but also letting Ex come in through a crack in the relationship, not fully but
ever so slightly. Of course I sat back and let Pat be Pat. But I did leave on
this note: Just because you didn't choose Ex doesn't mean you have to choose
New Love. There is always that third option. Neither.

I can see Pat struggles with feelings of loneliness. People make mistakes and get involved with
the wrong people because of those feelings. Sometimes they find the right one
but their desperation and clinginess is a turn off and the other person runs.

I hope things turn out well for Pat in the end. I don’t want
to see anyone I care about hurt or confused. Just remember, sometimes door #3
is you. You deserve the best.

*I'm trying to remain as vague as possible on gender. Unisex name it is!

Friday, June 21, 2013

A few weeks ago I had a migraine. Not only that, my head
felt like it was on fire. My neck hurt, too, for some reason. I quickly deduced
that it must be that my hair is too long.
When your hair is down to your bum it can feel quite heavy. Frantically
I opened drawers looking for scissors. I called to my daughter to bring me some
of her scissors. When she asked why I responded that I was going to cut my
hair. Sensing I was about to make a
horrible decision….she ran off and got them.

Yeah, it was kind of like this.

Using geometry, I figured that putting my hair in a high
pony tail on my head and then pulling it to the front and away from my face about
5 inches would get me the desired results. This angle would make the hair in
front shorter than the hair in the back.
I bent over the trash can and began hacking away. When I was done I pulled my hair out of the
band and shook my hair. “Cool! You should be a barber!” exclaimed my
daughter. I didn’t feel like correcting
her, I just ran to a mirror. Not
bad. It did look layered in the front,
but the back was slightly uneven. Plus
my hair still felt heavy.

I started harassing everyone I knew that had good hair for
the name of their stylist. Finally, I got one.
His name was Israel and he works out of Haute Innovations. If you’re
in the DFW area you should check him out.
My friend gave me his link on Schedulicity and I set up an appointment.
Since he does not take walk-ins this would ensure that I would be his only
focus during my time there.

I then perused the interwebs for celebrities that I look
nothing like. Google searches for “Eva
Mendes Short Hair” “Penelope Cruz Long
Bob” and “Selena Gomez Thick Hair Bob” began to take place. I settled on 3
different looks and printed them out and went to bed.

Twinsies!

But I couldn’t really fall asleep. What if it didn’t look right? Will it be
elementary school all over again? You
see, I had a bad bob back in the day.
Maybe it was a good bob, but at 10 I didn’t know much about styling or controlling
frizz. I consoled myself with the fact
that technology in hairstyling tools and products has come a long way since the
80’s and 90’s. No, this is going to be a good thing. I will pull this off.

The morning of the cut was like the first day of school. I
even dressed up. I worked from home that day so my usual uniform is yoga pants
and a band or superhero shirt. Not
today, my friends. Today I was going in dressed
professional and even did full make up. I meant business.

I walked in and felt so at ease. Talk about hitting it off
right away. We talked and talked and
talked and I had confidence that it was going to go well. When he was done he spun me around and I
absolutely loved it! I was just what I needed because I was in a rut. My hair was long, one length, utterly boring. Now it had some flair and went with my
personality. I hugged him and thanked
him. Also I didn’t want to leave, lol,
we had such a good time talking. I
really wanted to call in and tell my boss I wanted the rest of the day off. I
just wanted to stay and talk to Israel all day.
Working at home keeps me from socializing a lot as you can see.

After work I sent pictures to my mom and family. I also kept
walking by mirrors and turning my head swiftly so my hair would shake with my
movements. So I have a cut and style
that I liked, the real test is how well I would style it after I washed it. I
won’t keep you in suspense. I handled up and styled it! Although, I did forget
my hair was short when I took a shower and I accidentally poured a huge blob of
shampoo. I do love that I’m saving money
on products. But it’s weeks later and my hair grows super-fast and I need a cut
again. Argh!!!!

I love it this length. Don’t get me wrong, I plan to let my
hair grow out as soon as life slows down and I can go back to spending an hour
on it. But for now, at this busy point in my life, it’s perfect. If you want to take a look it’s on my Twitter
profile pic. @TheTrueSandy

Monday, June 17, 2013

Today I was remembering a time back in the day when I had an
infant and a toddler at the same time. It was just the three of us. Even then, I felt compelled to help out the community in some way. I’ve had this desire to give back and I
think it happened when I had children. Before them, I was selfish and all about
me, me, me. During this time we lived in some really rundown apartments. But it was the constant thought of “how can I help
those doing worse than me?” Because no
matter how bad we have it, someone is always doing worse.

I remember a school supply fundraiser happening and I wanted
to do something to help, anything really.
I signed up and was assigned to stand on a median with 3 others one
Saturday morning (you have to have a permit to do this, by the way). I paid a
friend to watch my children and began the exhausting day of gathering
donations. In the end, I realized that
what I received was around what I paid for a babysitter. A friend had watched my children and, even
though she would have done it for free, I wanted pay her.

"Because no matter how bad we have it, someone is always doing worse."

This might seem like common sense but I suspect there are
other people out there like me. We want to help, we want to get involved but we
also have small children. There were a couple of times where I was
guilt-tripped into volunteering. But I
had to realize that it’s okay to say no; a time would come when they would be
older and I could help then. It’s okay
to focus on just my kids. They’re only little once. I could see if a volunteer opportunity came up where I could take my little ones, but that’s extremely
rare.

There were other times where I solely wanted to talk to other
adult. I ran into another mom who currently has a similar situation as I once did. I assured
her, it gets easier. I know its tiring doing everything for two little people,
but they get older. In the meantime, enjoy it. Before you know it, you’re sending them off to
school. And then if you volunteer for
anything you can bring them with you! lol I’m glad I took a step back when they
were little because now I’m so involved with their schools, our community, and signing up for so many other
things that we are extremely busy.

Now
it’s better because they can help out alongside me and I want to show them that we have
to take care of each other in this world.
So if anyone reading this was in my shoes and you feel lonely and tired,
I just want to say that it does get easier….. until they’re teenagers. ;)

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Man of Steel

I saw Man of Steel yesterday and wanted to share my opinion
on the movie. I’ll try my best to keep it as spoiler free as possible.

In a nutshell, I loved it. Was it flawless? There was one
teeny thing that bugged me; I may put it in the comments in case anyone doesn't
want to know.

Going into the movie I was a little upset at a few changes
so I was ready to be the first to say I didn’t like it, but then I became sold
on Christopher Nolan’s vision. For one, they removed the red briefs he wears
over his suit and it proved to be a good move. I guess I was just wanting classic Superman. Secondly, the
“S” on his chest was his Kryptonian symbol for “hope”. I also liked that change
as well. To bring Superman into modern times these minor adjustments were
needed.

I love the fact that they made the character manly. As a
child he wasn’t “aw shucks” and as a man he chose some odd jobs that fit a
character that wanted to lay low. (I loved that they didn’t make Henry Cavill
shave his chest, I thought it was sexy.) There were some aspects that reminded
me of Smallville. The fact that he had to come to grips with who he is and who
he is meant to be weighed heavily on Kal-El. They stayed true to Superman being
a golden boy and never wanting to kill anyone. And Nolan did it wonderfully.

Henry Cavill nailed the character and I’m glad because I had
a few reservations about him. I can still picture him in “The Tudors”. He was
actually perfect for the part. Amy Adams as Lois Lane was another choice that I
wasn’t sure about. I think it was the hair color that threw me. As I watched
the movie, I was glad that they focused on her being a hard hitting
journalist. She wasn’t this annoying
damsel and she wasn’t this vixen either. She was just Lois and her feelings for
Clark were slowly revealed instead of instant love.

I can’t say enough about how great Diane Lane and Kevin
Costner were as Martha and Jonathan Kent. I’m really pleased that they were
added to the franchise. Basically the movie had awesome casting.

I am reading that “critics” are writing unfavorable reviews
and the conspiracy theorist in me says that they must remain loyal to Iron Man
3 or lose their jobs. Lol. But seriously, if we must compare, I had several
issues with IM3 and Man of Steel absolutely blew it out of the water.

There you have it. To summarize: I loved Man of Steel, I
think Henry Cavill is hot and manly, and I wish critics would stop with the
DC/Marvel comparisons.

World War Z is next on my movie agenda. Here's the trailer:

ZOMG. Did you see that at 2:05!? Just crawling over each other super fast! Is team work part of the disease!?!?