Friday, May 29, 2009

Yesterday was a very exciting day for me....maybe for some others in our family too, but all I can account for on here are my emotions and those alone. We had our ultrasound yesterday and we found out (without 100% accuracy as ultrasounds don't guarantee gender) that we are having a little GIRL. Yes...a girl! A baby girl, girl, girl. I was so emotional over this exciting news, I couldn't call enough people or smile any bigger. Tears of joy ran out of the corner of my eyes as I thanked God first and foremost. And with that I have a "God story" for you....

I hear God "speaking" to me often...usually it is when I am getting ready in the mornings, in our bathroom. A couple of months ago, early on in the pregnancy, I was in the shower and God told me "I will give you a girl." He keeps His messages to me pretty short and sweet, unless that is all I am able to "hear" at this time in my life. It took me a while to process this, and as with all things in a pregnancy, everyone seems to guess what you are having and I really felt like I was having a boy...except for this one message that I "heard" the one day. I told Wes about it a few weeks later, and remember asking him...well who else would tell me this? Who else but God? Who else meets me in the morning like this, in the shower, as I sing/hum worship songs and often pray as I wash my hair? But, I kept on telling peopole that I thought this baby was a boy...because part of me didn't want to feel diappointed if it was a boy. (We already have three wonderful boys) I know how I felt when we found out that Asher was a boy, and it took me time to deal with the fact that I wasn't going to have the little girl I so longed for. I didn't want to feel sad again. I was preparing myself mentally for a boy, just in case. Then, earlier on this week, on Monday I think it was...God met me in the morning again and I heard "just trust me." Well now this really got me thinking...but I still wasn't able to 100% trust what I was "hearing" because I was scared. And now, as we found out yesterday...God was speaking to me all along...He was telling me what I longed to know, what my heart desired so deeply...that we would have a baby girl in our family.

So, now I feel a bit foolish...I was even scared to tell anyone about what I heard (except Wes) because what if what I was hearing was wrong? Did I put those little thoughts in my head? What if I was just making stuff up to make me think a certain way?? Why did I doubt the word of God? How do I not do that again? Why can't it be easier to "hear" Him? I can't put a fleece out like Gideon (Judges 6)and command God to show me certain things to prove to me that He is real, and that His word and His love are real. I need to live my faith and trust fully in His word, His plan, and His love.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Well here I am...at almost 20 weeks pregnant. My boys were willing to go to the tracks last night so I could take some photos of them. I asked Aidan to take a photo of me so I could remember what I looked like at 20 weeks pregnant. I have a total of about 4 pregnancy photos of me from the other boys...Wes thinks I look beautiful...he loves the whole belly thing...but I don't see myself the same way when I look in the mirror. I tend to focus on the beauty that is growing and changing each week INSIDE.

So, tomorrow is going to be an exciting day. We have our 20 weekish ultrasound. I know we saw the baby on ultrasound 3 weeks ago, but tomorrow we might be able to find out the sex of the baby. Wes has to work tomorrow so Aidan (our oldest son) is going to come with me to see the baby on the little computer screen and be one of the first ones to find out if it is a boy or girl...and he is pretty excited about it.

Monday, May 18, 2009

I arrived home yesterday after a visit to Halifax, Nova Scotia to see my BFF Ginette. She and her family moved to Shediac, New Brunswick almost a year ago. We decided to meet in Halifax this time and have a little "girls time." So, off I went on Tuesday evening (plane left at 11pm and arrived in Halifax at 6:30am NS time...something I wouldn't do again unless Westjet somehow gets beds for these flights) and came home yesterday morning. My wonderfully amazing husband was at home with the kiddies all that time...isn't he GREAT? Well I think so. So we did a bit of touring around on the first day after I had a little nap at the hotel...that was probably our busiest day there. The rest of the days were filled with shopping, visiting, scrapbooking, some driving and touring along the coast of Nova Scotia (just to Lunenberg and back to Halifax) as I couldn't seem to handle the winding roads very well, feeling nauseous and not able to even look out the side windows to "tour" the beautifully laid back side of Canada. One awesome thing that we got to do together is scrapbook, which we started up together in 1996 at a Creative Memories get together. I was able to complete 18 pages of Addison's First Year scrapbook, which would take me forever to get done at home here. Thanks my dear friend Ginette for a wonderful get-away!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Here is Baby "A" at 16 weeks gestation. It was so exciting to see the baby today. I am not sure why but I was emotional at seeing our little peach on the screen today. It was so amazing to see its little legs and arms moving. Even with the 4th baby, maybe even more special because I know this will be the last of the baby experiences I want to take them all in and not take them for granted. The sex of the baby could not be accurately determined by the technician as it is a little bit too tiny, and that is ok because I wasn't expecting to find out this ultrasound anyways. If the remainder of this pregnancy goes anything like the last pregnancy we will have more upcoming ultrasounds and be able to see his or her little "parts" then. Until then I praise God for this little one...

I love the Lord and want to live the life that God has planned out for me. I am married to an amazing man and we have 3 sons and 1 daughter. Being a MOM is my joy even with its struggles and hard times. The joy of the Lord is my strength and I strive to seek Him in all I do.