With little to no planning, a strict budget, and about a half an hour's worth of grocery shopping—including a booze run—I threw this holiday party together in an afternoon.

Who doesn't love attending a holiday party? It is an excuse to drink sugary punch at an inappropriate time of day, give lingering hugs to attractive people in cashmere—that would otherwise seem creepy any other time of year—and most importantly, to imbibe in boatloads of salty, fatty treats. I've read in many prestigious medical journals that it is physically impossible for your body to absorb fat while the Jackson 5 Christmas Album is playing on a repetitive loop.

Since we can all agree that these parties are fun, why don't you be selfless and giving, and offer to throw one? It's really not as scary as you might think. With little to no planning, a strict budget, and about a half an hour's worth of grocery shopping—including a booze run—I threw this holiday party together in an afternoon. Give it a whirl. It ain't the Ritz, but I doubt you'll hear any complaints. Just keep little Michael crooning, "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus," really loud.