read a few posts frpm the guy suffering from hocd, and the answers from the therapists, but i dont find the actual gay act revolting, and have being contemplating whether to do it with a man, so i can naswer the question, but i have tried to sit down and find out who i am before, and seem to get nowehere, with being on the medication it has helped because i have being able to go right ur bisexual get on with it, i find mysefl checking men out sexually and fantasizing about the, i regularly go on gay porn, but this is towards the end ov my story, i have this problem for 4 years and have dont alot ov things which suggested hocd, with checking, and compulsions. so any feedback would be great

listen Blade you gotta stop checking! If you dont you are eventually gonna get use to it. Case in point a soldier shoots an enemy combatant and feels horrible about it, then he will get used to it as the battles wage on.

blade118 Wrote:read a few posts frpm the guy suffering from hocd, and the answers from the therapists, but i dont find the actual gay act revolting, and have being contemplating whether to do it with a man, so i can naswer the question, but i have tried to sit down and find out who i am before, and seem to get nowehere, with being on the medication it has helped because i have being able to go right ur bisexual get on with it, i find mysefl checking men out sexually and fantasizing about the, i regularly go on gay porn, but this is towards the end ov my story, i have this problem for 4 years and have dont alot ov things which suggested hocd, with checking, and compulsions. so any feedback would be great

Hi Blade

May I ask how old you are?

Only you can know where your sexual preference lies, but from what you say you already know that you are bisexual.

You asked for feed back so here are a few questions to ask yourself:

1. When you look at porn, gay or otherwise, is it because you feel an irresistible compulsion or is it because you enjoy looking.

2. Do you feel as if you are not incontrol of your own thoughts?

2. Are you sexually aroused by males, females, or both sexes?

3. Do your thoughts appears when you have gone through a period of stress or are they constantly with you?

I think you know where I am going with this, but feel free to ask further questions if you are still unsure. happy7

Why do dogs bark?

They are not barking, they are talking in dog. Obviously you don't understand the language.

yeah some times i feel i know i am gay/bisexual but just cant admit it or i am just denying who i am.

my age is 23.
1)when i first looked at gay porn it was like i had to look just to see what was like, with me beign told i had hocd, i had this urge to go on it, and then it became like you have to go on it again. but now it just seem to come natural when i go on it like no disgust or anything.
2)yes it feels like i aint in control as i think about this everyday for the last 4 years, not just being gay but like had thoughts ov kids, family members sexually, self harming.
3)i am sexually aroused by females i think i mean ii have only ever being with women, but with this gay stuff ebveryday and the thougts ov men which are very graphic everyday, i dont know if i have become use to the thoughts and they dont disgust me anymore, or because i am actaully that way.
4) the thoughts are constantly there everyday.

i mean i have being through alot ov hell with this, where on some occasions just thought go with a man and find out, and at the point now where its the only way i am goign to find out.

done alot ov stupid things in the past to see if i was gay, for example, finger checking, bend over to see if i like the thought ov a man doing it to me, checking if i look gay or act gay. had thoughts ov men sometimes when having sex with my girlfriend. there are loads more.

blade118 Wrote:yeah some times i feel i know i am gay/bisexual but just cant admit it or i am just denying who i am.

Instead of trying to pigeon hole yourself think of it as a sexual preference, some people prefer same sex partners, some oposite sex partners and yet others do not express any preference.

Quote:my age is 23.

That is good, it means you are old enough to make an informed choice. ssmile

Quote:1)when i first looked at gay porn it was like i had to look just to see what was like, with me beign told i had hocd, i had this urge to go on it, and then it became like you have to go on it again. but now it just seem to come natural when i go on it like no disgust or anything.

One of the signs of OCD is one is disgusted by the obssessional thoughts even though you feel compelled to carry out certain actions. However, from what you say you feel quite happy looking at gay porn, even going so far as to say it feels natural.

Quote:2)yes it feels like i aint in control as i think about this everyday for the last 4 years, not just being gay but like had thoughts ov kids, family members sexually, self harming.

This does point towards OCD, however, that doesn't mean that you are not bisexual. Even gay men can suffer from OCD. It is more a matter of finding out which thoughts are yours (the ones that don't disgust or worry you unduly and the thoughts that do.

Quote:3)i am sexually aroused by females i think i mean ii have only ever being with women, but with this gay stuff ebveryday and the thougts ov men which are very graphic everyday, i dont know if i have become use to the thoughts and they dont disgust me anymore, or because i am actaully that way.

i mean i have being through alot ov hell with this, where on some occasions just thought go with a man and find out, and at the point now where its the only way i am goign to find out.

I recommend you try to stay on your meds for at six weeks to see if your other thoughts, I also recommend you talk to someone on the switchboard about your thoughts and feeling, as well as any fears or doubts you have about coming out if you do decide you like men.

Quote:done alot ov stupid things in the past to see if i was gay, for example, finger checking, bend over to see if i like the thought ov a man doing it to me, checking if i look gay or act gay. had thoughts ov men sometimes when having sex with my girlfriend. there are loads more.

I imagine there are alot of men who have gone through similar, but the difference is you are trying to find out who you are rather than just accepting HOCD as the only possibility.