Science Says That Bearded Men Are More Dangerous

Thinking of growing a beard? Perhaps you’re sick of getting carded in front of the lady, or hoping for a bit of extra SPF coverage. Or maybe you’re trying to shake off a good-guy image and add a bit of edge to your look. Well, that might not be such a bad idea, as a new study reports men with beards are actually a hell of a lot more dangerous than their clean-shaven counterparts.

Sponsored by the social video app eva, the study purports a strong link between having a beard and fighting, cheating, and stealing. In a survey of 2,000 British men, 25 percent of guys with beards admitted to engaging in brawls as opposed to 29 percent of baby-faced ones. A whole 40 percent admitted to cheating, compared to 17 percent of barefaced men. Lastly, 40 percent of bearded men admitted to stealing, in contrast with 17 percent of their pretty-boy counterparts.

Now, we’re not suggesting that you grow a beard and start wreaking havoc on the society that wrongly disregarded you as a paltry nice guy. But, it’s a long-held conviction that women like the rakish vibe, so long as their bad boys can play nice when necessary (no cheating). And now with a proven correlation (assuming that clean-shaven men aren’t just lying about their dirty deeds), a beard could give you the patina of a life in the fast line, even if you never actually leave your apartment complex.

However, this particular study does come with a bit of a caveat: 62 percent of the women surveyed claimed they didn’t dig the bearded look. In fact, it turned them off. But we’ll take this tidbit with a grain of salt and just assume respondents were thinking of muttonchops or whatever’s de rigueur for hipsters these days. Past studies have, time and again, shown that women actually prefer men who can rock a bit of facial hair, with heavy stubble striking the right balance.

So, it’s high time you started making up for a weak disposition and/or jawline. Give your face the badge of badassery that is a beard.