Xerostomia. Wtf? Don’t panic. We’re not going to go all Greek on you. Xerostomia (zero-STOW-me-uh) is the fancyass medical word for cottonmouth. Also known as hyposalivation, cottonmouth is what happens when you’ve blazed a bongload and suddenly your mouth is so dry you can hardly speak. Your lips stick to your teeth, and it becomes about impossible to swallow. Sure, it can be funny when it happens to someone else. When your own mouth is so dry you can’t stand it, it’s not such a good time.

What causes cottonmouth?

There are several things that can cause your mouth to feel as dry as a desert. Certain medications can make your mouth dry. Not drinking enough water during the day can also lead to a wickedly un-wet mouth. But, for the purposes of this blog, we will assume that your cottonmouth is caused by smoking cannabis. This certainly is the most fun way to dry out your lips, tongue and mouth.

Can cottonmouth be prevented?

Probably not. For whatever scientific reasons, smoking weed often dries the mucus membranes of the human mouth. Smoking dank, delicious bud may also cause your salivary glands to produce less spit. So, if you’re gonna get baked there’s an excellent chance you’re also gonna get cottonmouth. One thing you can do to prevent the horrors of cottonmouth is to be sure you drink plenty of water whenever you’re awake. It’s better to sip a little bit of water several times an hour than it is to chug a gallon all at once. Sugary drinks like Kool-Aid and Coke may actually make your cottonmouth worse. Besides, those kind of beverages are not good for you anyway. If you really need to swill something sweet, go for fruit juice, unsweetened iced tea or honey-sweetened lemonade. Yeah, we know that honey is for hippies, but it’s still a whole lot better for you than plain sugar. The point is to get lots of water-based fluids into your system.

Can cottonmouth be cured?

Not permanently. Remember what we told you twelve seconds ago about avoiding sugar? Well, you can forget it now. Sucking on hard candies such as Lifesavers or Jolly Ranchers will increase your saliva production and keep your mouth nice and moist. If we were your Mom, we’d advise you to brush your teeth after macking on candy. But we’re not your mother, so we won’t. In fact, we’re going to give you a list of candies that are excellent temporary cottonmouth cures:

* Lifesavers

* Jolly Ranchers (watermelon is best)

* Smarties

* Sweet Tarts

* Willy Wonka Bottlecaps

* Willy Wonka Nerds

* Colombina Sour Balls

* Blow Pops

* Lemonheads

* Jawbreakers

* Red Vines

Candies like chocolate will probably not fix your cottonmouth. What you’re looking for is a candy that takes a lot of time to suck on. So, next time you go to meet your guy or visit your local dispensary, be sure to stop somewhere and lay in a good supply of slow-melting sweets. You might as well go ahead and get enough to share with your friends because you know how they are. When you get home, twist a fatty or load up your vape and don’t space out where you left your bag of delicious, cottonmouth-curing candy.

The deadline for entering in this contest has arrived, and we’ll now begin taking votes from the public in order to select who will be crowned the first ever Miss Medical Marijuana ambassador, in this Spring 2011 contest. There are some very beautiful women that have participated and we’d like to thank everyone in advance for their support.

This is the first contest we’ve held at PENCIL METHOD since our inception. We are very eager to provide the winners with prizes and see how this contest will help us bring our cause to those who wouldn’t have necessarily been informed about the importance of our cause had it not been for the beautiful women that have taken the chance in submitting their contest entries.

Now that we have all of our contestants, we’ll need you to vote for who you think should be crowned Miss Medical Marijuana, a good will ambassador for our cause. In order to vote, you’ll need to be a registered user on our web site (registration is free and takes less than 10 seconds to complete – CLICK HERE TO BECOME A REGISTERED USER). All you need to do is choose your favorite lady from the voting poll below. Only one vote will be allowed per member, and cheating attempts will not be counted in the end. Voting begins April 1st, 2011 at 1:00 AM and will end April 20th, 2011 at 1:00 AM as well.

The winners will be expected to promote our cause in a wholesome and responsible way. This contest is about promoting the marijuana legalization movement and spreading valuable knowledge to the general public. Please do your part and tell all your friends and loved ones about this contest and our web site. Winners will be officially announced during the afternoon of April 20th, 2011.

Less than two months after the competition was initially announced, online interest for the Miss Medical Marijuana competition has surpassed what anyone at the popular Marijuana news magazine even thought was possible. The contest is taking place as part of ongoing efforts by the Marijuana Legalization movement to gain mainstream support for the cause.

Web site visitors will be given the chance to select who they think should be crowned Miss Medical Marijuana, starting the first of April and ending on the 20th, also known as 4/20 or International Weed Day. Anyone can log on to the web site at PencilMethod.com and vote for whoever they feel is the best candidate.

“It is our belief that through fun, innovative and interactive campaigns such as this one, we’ll be able to more effectively spread vital knowledge to young adults, many of whom already support our struggle without truly understanding why it’s important,” a representative of the PencilMethod.com staff said.