The world says you're old, but you're still hot AF.

NY FASHION WEEK F/W 2017 RTW RECAP: DAY 4

So. Tired. My very old, wrinkled skin can barely stand another day of pulling and primping and painting and needling and taping (you know those weird tabs that pull your temples back into your hair?).

(Actually we need to talk more about those. Has anyone tried them??)

Let’s get started.

All background images via The Cut

DELPOZO CAN DO NO WRONG. The details are extraordinary, the fabrics, the volume, the beading, the JEWELED BODY STOCKINGS? Everything is perfect. I wasn’t even supposed to walk this show, but forced my way on stage and stripped the models down right then and there. You didn’t hear about it because, as at the Yeezy Season 5 show, everyone was forbidden to document the event or participate in social media. You know, JUST like Yeezy. These two shows and all of the clothes and art and design are JUST THE SAME. These are all selfies from my camera on a tripod with a timer, if you’re curious. We bloggers know never to go anywhere without a camera on a tripod with a timer!

Seriously though, jeweled body stockings with hoods will be very Veronica 2017. Not waiting for fall/winter though ugh. Also have been thinking a lot about sweeping maxi dresses lately – as in, I’ve been thinking about them constantly for the last decade, but have yet to buy one for myself. Maybe this is the year of my maxi dress??? Why have I denied myself for so long??

Remember when I told you that that beaded lace satin lounging pajama from Elie Saab was basically my inner monologue in real life form? Well if that personality was unavailable, this patent leather turbaned, so many zippers person would emerge to finish the job. Thanks so much for the opportunity, Chiara Boni La Petite Robe. The bellhop luggage rack was a nice touch, but there’s nothing more annoying than being hit in the heels by an empty, unruly cart. Just, you know, future notice is all.

And then onto Marchesa, where these are all the things I like always. The lavender is a naked dress – thank goodness we’re still doing THAT – and the peach is exactly like what I’m wearing right now in my hotel room! Special but casual but hand-beaded and formal, but nightgown-inspired, but definitely not for sleeping, but so comfortable, but not. You know?

Isn’t it so funny when the designer clearly imagined a look on someone with a much lower hairline, and no matter what you do, the clothes just make your face look bizarre and squat and also grossly over-sized? So funny. Happens ALL the time. Anyway, loved both of the looks, but didn’t love my face in either, so … no go?