End of 2019.

Published January 9, 2020

At what point is it considered “too late” for one to share a reflection on the past year? Since I like to see the past week (with just 2 working days) as a “trial run” for the new year, I am telling myself that this post will still be relevant.

With me staying in bed all day on Jan 1st because of a sudden fever and flu that came out of nowhere when I woke up, I felt like my new year has yet to officially begin. But thankfully, as dramatic as the flu came about, it is pretty much 90% recovered by now, and it gives me a fresh new chance to start the year right.

To be honest, I am writing this with literally no plan in my head as to where this will go. Well, I guess in my efforts to stick to my commitment to get back into writing (other than work stuff), I am just going to get the ball rolling.

Recap of 2019:

If I had to sum up 2019, I guess I would say it felt like a “trial run” of many transitions. Often times, it felt as if I did not know what I was doing, but throughout the year, it also felt as if I was finally getting a footing as to what I should be doing and what was important to me (and of course, what was not).

WORK –

It was the year I finally changed department in my workplace and was able to do what I created – Crunch, full-time. Never would I have thought this opportunity could happen, especially in such a short time.

Even up until now, sometimes right before I fall asleep, or when I am overwhelmed by work, I am reminded by this opportunity, and I cannot help but feel immensely grateful.

This year, Crunch finally become a proper product of Nuffnang. It is something that still feels so surreal, and being able to work on it with my trusty partner, Meagan, every day, is indeed a dream.

Don’t get me wrong, there are days when I questioned myself for my decisions, days when I genuinely felt so lost and uncertain, and many, many, MANY other self-doubts/imposter syndrome moments. But seeing it bloom and grow slowly but progressively, brings so much pride to me.

I look back and I am reminded by how far Crunch has come. From an idea in my head, to an e-magazine for internal use, and now to a full platform that inspires young Malaysians with substantial content… We have indeed come so far. And in 2020, we are going to dream even bigger. So watch this space 😉

MORE WORK –

In 2019, I have also taken the courage to work on freelance writing work with Reuben, my previous boss from Cat Insights. I am not going to lie, this took up a huge chunk of my time and headspace but it also taught me how to manage my time better. I started to fully utilise my Google Calendar for managing concurrent deadlines, write down every single task I have so I don’t miss them out, and learn to compartmentalise my mind so I won’t affect my dedication to both Crunch and freelance projects.

As much as I sometimes felt overwhelmed juggling so much, I secretly enjoyed the adrenaline and sense of accomplishment I get when I successfully squeeze and complete every task on my list in a week.

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT –

I think in 2019 was a year where I focused a lot on creating habits and routines that is meaningful for myself.

Just a quarter of my plant babies!

I spent a lot of time getting into healthier habits and routines, and create a sense of purpose of just “living well” for myself.

I spent a lot of time making my own food (to which I actually find so much pride and peace in doing, it feels great to be able to just “take care of myself”), making my home as cosy as possible (I finally got a proper desk in my efforts to do more substantial things like work and writing at home), building my plant family, working out more (although it was still not as consistent as I would like it to be) and tried to wake up earlier to have a proper morning routine.

My newly built desk so now I can do work without crouching on the floor.

Honestly, it seems pretty mundane, but I think throughout the year, I built routines around my life that made me felt really content.

Really though, as I continue to grow older, the more I appreciate the beauty of a cosy and peaceful life. Crazy highs are way overrated.

RELATIONSHIPS –

Another thing that I felt was a very peaceful and “safe” constant in my life is the people around me.

When I was back in school or uni, I used to think, “Oh, I don’t have many friends”, or ” Oh, I don’t belong to a clique” etc… But in this year, I truly embrace the notion of having close friends and family – and really, that is all you need.

My family has always been so unconditionally supportive as I go about and chase my ambitions, to which I cannot express my gratitude enough.

My parents would do anything they can to show me their love and care, even if they cannot be geographically near. Their naggy calls asking me to pace myself, drink more water, take care of my health and all that small little things, are what reminds me that I have family that genuinely care for my wellbeing.

My boyfriend has been there to keep me grounded while believing in me so much it makes me believe a little more in myself. He is also the wise and rational person I can turn to when I am feeling lost, stuck or in need of advice.

My few close friends (you know who you are!) have trusted me to share parts of their lives with me, while always being genuinely caring towards the ups and downs of my own life. Their random texts and calls, or invites to get a meal together brings a little extra joy and comfort that goes a long way.

Really, there is nothing more I can ask for.

2019 was yet another amazing year. Sure, there were a few things I wish I did more or some bad habits that I wish I quit, or decisions I made that were not the wisest, but despite it all, it was pretty darn awesome.

HERE’S TO 2020:

When I say 2019 felt like a “Free Trial”, its because I felt like I have not pushed myself enough, and I was sort of waddling through things and going on a lot of trials and errors.

My resolution for 2020 is to tweak my mindset, dream a little more fearlessly, and focus 150% towards my priorities.

Because of the added commitment on things that matter, this also mean making wiser choices as to what I spend my time and effort on.

Previously, I often set resolutions to “work harder” or to “give more” but without facing the fact that something else needs to be sacrificed in return. So a good reminder I want to bring into the new year is to fully commit to what serves me and learn to let go of what does not.

To be honest, I am really excited about 2020.

It’s a year where I want to make things happen and propel forward in the things that mean the most to me. It’s a year I want to bring to live bigger dreams for Crunch. It’s a year I want to spend more on self-reflection and proper planning. It’s the year I want to spend more quality time with the people that I love.

As cliche as every other new year posts, I am bright-eyed, enthusiastically ready for what comes in 2020!