Standing in your client’s shoes

Veronica Dagher of the Wall Street Journal, quotes Dr. Mary Gresham:After a client of Catherine Seeber lost her husband in a boating accident, the widow naturally felt angry and alone.The woman also became skeptical of every recommendation the Philadelphia-based financial adviser made. And she started to take her anger out on Ms. Seeber.Then, one day the grieving widow left a lengthy voice mail lambasting Ms. Seeber. The adviser, stunned by the woman’s personal attack and criticism of her professional advice, considered firing the woman.

But Ms. Seeber paused and reconsidered, channeling her own hurt into empathy for the widow whom she always regarded as friendly and reasonable when her husband was alive.

“I put myself in her shoes. I knew she needed my help,” says Ms. Seeber, who works for Wescott Financial Advisory Group.

Now, a few years later on, the woman is happy and appreciative that the adviser stuck with her and helped her during the most difficult and trying time of her life.

Empathy–the capacity to recognize and share another person’s experiences and emotions–is a crucial trait for advisers to have if they want to succeed in an industry that is about effectively handling client emotions as well as their money.

Advisers who lack empathy for what a client is going through–say, a tough divorce, illness or financial turmoil–could lose that client, especially if that client feels judged or criticized. And even if the client doesn’t fire the adviser, they’re not likely to follow recommendations or refer prospects.

However, if a client feels listened to and validated, the adviser can win over that client for life, and more, therapists and advisers say.

Empathy is the opposite of being judgmental, notes Mary Gresham, a financial psychologist in Atlanta. A non-empathetic response to a client who overspends would be to scold them for not getting their spending under control and suggest they just try harder–which she says won’t work because that’s criticism and not encouraging.

“It invites resistance since most people don’t like to be pressured or told what to do,” Dr. Gresham says.

Instead, an adviser might empathize with clients who overspend by asking them how they feel about their spending patterns. When they answer, it is important for the adviser to validate the client’s feelings.

“It might be helpful to note how hard it is to change a habit and ask how you can help them,” she says.

Advisers can also become more empathic by listening to family members and friends, visualizing what they are going through, Dr. Gresham says. “If you keep practicing the skill in your personal life, you’ll become more comfortable transferring it back to the office,” she says.

About AFP

Atlanta Financial Psychology was founded by Dr. Mary Gresham as a way to provide her unique financial and therapeutic consulting services through an organized practice. Read More