Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Mysteries of the Long Lost Folders - Episode 2

Deep within the Majugi archives there lurked a collection of moldy old Word Perfect documents. They contained prose of terrifying ineptitude created for elementary school book reports and high school creative writing assignments.

But amidst those files, there lay one that was a little less moldy than all the others and reeked a little bit less. It was the smallest file, containing a mere 55 words. So without further buildup...

The room was stifling: I couldn’t sleep; could barely breathe. Every time I drifted off, a moth nearby would beat its wings against my window, producing an irritating buzz. Exasperated, I trapped it under a cloth. The buzzing grew louder.

“Die, you damned moth!” I snarled.

It did.

Strangely, the killing didn’t help me sleep.

...which is all well and good. It satisfied the requirements of the eleventh grade English class it was written for (telling a story with a setting, characters, conflict, and resolution in fifty-five words), but it could use some editing, right?

Strangely, the killing didn’t help me sleep.

The room was stifling: I couldn’t move; could barely breathe. Every time I drifted off, a moth nearby would beat its wings against my window, producing an irritating buzz. Exasperated, I trapped it under a cloth. The buzzing grew louder.