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3.30.2009

Monday Series

As promised...

Part 3There was a basketball game being played at my school Monday night. Two friends and I decided to go to support our friends on the team. Knowing his schedule as an on-campus student, I knew that around the time of the game JD would be in his room doing required studying. I called him and chatted him up for a little bit. I planned to get off the phone quickly by saying I knew he needed to get back to studying. When I set my plan into motion, he bested me by asking me to come up to his dorm to see him. He said he had something serious he wanted to talk to me about. I tried to get out of it, but couldn't come up with anything. Curiosity killed the cat, right?

I met him outside his dorm. We sat in my car, with him behind the wheel, talking. During the course of our conversation, I mentioned that I had purposefully ignored his phone calls over the weekend. A look of shock came over his face. He started my car and threatened to drive until we ran out of gas if I didn't explain to him why. Finally it all came out. My feelings of frustration that we were "just friends" even though I felt more for him. I blurted "I'd really love if we could even just be friends with benefits." He readily agreed to that. As we drove back to his dorm and prepared to part ways, he mentioned offhand, "I'm so glad we talked. I was prepared to ask you to be my girlfriend. I knew you were slipping away from me and I don't want to lose you. I'm glad we could agree to 'friends with benefits'." A lump developed in my throat. In my frustration I had agreed to something less than what I truly wanted.

The weeks went by and nothing about our relationship changed. We were still doing the same things we had been doing. When I confronted him, he argued that he thought we had been doing enough, but he would try harder. I never saw any difference and eventually decided I just needed to put my focus elsewhere...