Someone to live for

I come home and sometimes I feel sad. I don't feel good enough or pretty enough. I started dieting and my friends think I am crazy. They say Ur too skinny already but I see the fat. I look at my baby sister an beg her not to turn out like me. I don't want to her to feel like I do. I can't say I love my body or the person I am but I know she loves me for me. When my boyfriend of 9 months broke up with me I was a mess. I was inlove and stupid. I told him everything and I thought he understood me. When we ended he told everyone my dirty little secrets. I was bullied and kicked around. Even through it all I still loved him. When I moved he an him got back together or about 6 months. I felt happy and like I could breath again. We ended and things went back to the usuall grind. Then in my new town I started being bullied cuz I wasn't like the other girls. I had ADHD and rumors went around saying I had aids. I tried to end it. It got to the point where I wasn't even excepted my my gym class. When picking teams I never got picked. I just sat in the corner and cried. I thought I was dead. Like I wanted to be. Then hen jr high ended the bullies still teased me. That when I started to cut. My friends all bailed on me and I was alone. All I had was my little baby sister. She was so adorable and I loved her. Being alone is still hard cuz I only see her every other weekend. She's all I have.

You can say whatever you need to, without being criticized or condemned.

Being bullied, being ostracized, being made fun of, not acceppted - all of that was me 45 years ago.

You can find true friends, and gentle friends here. And you DO have someone to live for - you. You are special and you are important.

The tormentors and haters will not be in your life forever. I know it seems like forever, but survive. Let this make you strong - you'll be able to help someone else who is suffering. And the ones who made your life so miserable? They're so ignorant that they can't even realize what a wonderful and sensitive friend they could have had in you.

You've made it to a special community, and many of us have been exactly in your shoes.

For private conversations, you can PM another member and communicate in confidence. There are so many people here who care, you're not alone.