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Struggles of a Bookworm #1

So as bookworms we tend to encounter many problems. I think for anyone who has a book obsession or just a general book buying problem is a lack of space and time.

Every time it comes to cleaning my room I am left with several stacks of books that I have no clue where to put. This is because of a) I have no room left on my bookshelf for them, b) no room in my wardrobe either and c) generally no space left anywhere for them. The number of books I have scares me, to be honest. One reason is that in every part of my room I find a book and I am not gonna deny, it’s a lovely surprise but this leads to the problem of buying books I already own. I think my other main problem is that there are not enough hours in a day let alone a year to study, do household chores, sleep, what people normally do and read; which leads to books sitting on my shelf for ages and then I look at them and find I don’t have the same interest I did when I bought it.

With the time problem, I find I sacrifice some of my basic needs like sleep… who needs sleep? Sleep is for the weak. Yeah… but, I found the problem with this is end up extremely exhausted in a couple of days suffering from intense headaches and wondering why I did that to myself. Could be that I am a sucker for pain?

I’m not kidding you when I say I reorganised my bookshelf, not adding any and I mean any new books to the shelves and somehow they don’t all fit back on… please tell me did my bookcase shrink, cause it looks the exactly the same size.

I guess the next problem that comes with having an extensive amount of books, or the problem of having the restraint to only buying 1 or 2 books in a bookstore… or none at all. Like many hobbies book hoarding (hoarding/collecting same thing right?) can be expensive. I mean I pretty sure that every time I go into a bookstore my purse starts to cry… no, not my purse, my card starts to cry saying – ‘why? why me” – It’s horrifying, I go in to buy 1 book and come out with 10! The only way that can sometimes be cheaper when buying books are e-readers. Sometimes when a book is £7.99 and it’s a part of a 6+ series and on Kindle, you can get all of them for the same price of one or less I can’t help but bend and buy it on Kindle. The reason why are; a) I don’t have the money to be buying a 6+ series in paperback or hardback, b) My Kindle is small and fits in majority of my bags and means I can read it anywhere, anytime and c) I need to reduce the number of books I buy!

Book buying bans. One of the hardest things to do when all your favourite places are near a bookshop and when you have no self-control, or in the need of a pick me that you can only get from buying a new book. I feel drawn to the damn bookshop and I think to myself – I’m only gonna look… you can look and you can touch, but you CANNOT BUY ANY. Think, where are you going put them? Your mother will kill you! – Then I end up buying 3+ books because I’ve answered the questions – One of the piles on my floor isn’t the same height as the other. So, I need more books to make them all equal. Mum won’t kill me, I’ll hide them in this really small bag that will most likely only fit one and I will carry the other one in my hands and pray to God that she’s not near the door, in the kitchen or sees me before I go into my room.– So, what has my life become? I have to smuggle books into my room, oh how the times have changed!

I swear another one of my problems is I don’t know how to have a normal conversation with someone without making it awkward.

This is me! I’m like say something normal, small talk like having a good day. Shouldn’t be too hard it’s family… granted you don’t talk to them much – ‘You enjoying the weather?’ – God dammit! I will guarantee you that I had already asked that question once… maybe even twice. It’s like me say – ‘So, how are you?’ – in the middle of the conversation to fill in an awkward silence. On so many levels books have prepared me for many situations but, I still somehow don’t know how to form words into a coherent sentence that does not make me look crazy or even insane!

Question: Have you ever been in a very public place when reading an emotional part of a book? Or had to talk to someone after crying about the loss of a treasured character and had to explain the red, puffy eyes?

This has happened multiple times… I know I shouldn’t be reading a deeply emotional book before dinner when I have to sit in front of my parents and brother and have them asking me if I’m okay? Did I break up with a boyfriend? Why are you playing with your food? Why are you an emotional wreck? I can’t go say I am crying because one of the most amazing, heart-warming, loving, dreamiest person – who by the way is a fictitious character – died. They would look at me like I’ve lost the bloody plot!

I think being in a public place is slightly worse people will actually be thinking what is wrong with this girl… is she actually crying over a book? Also when reading a highly emotional part that includes a death of a beloved character there can be a bit of screaming… OKAY! A lot of screaming, book throwing, tell the book I will not read it until it changes the story (which may sound just a little crazy) and rocking back and forth. I’m honestly surprised that the police haven’t been called because of the disturbance or because of general fear.

Another thing that drives me up the wall is the constant calling of my name when I am reading.

I don’t know what it is but somehow… some miracle my mum, dad, brother or any other person in my life finds me reading. OH LORD PLEASE HELP ME! It’s like a siren goes off saying Ally Cat is reading please annoy the living daylights out of her, you know that’s what she really wants! It’s like everything they normally do becomes something I have to do, it drives me insane. It’s Ally come do this, Ally come do that. Next thing you know its Ally why haven’t you done this or that, Ally come down for dinner. Then when everyone is going to bed and I finally think I can knock out a couple of hours reading in peace, with the door closed all of a sudden the door is swung open no knocking, no warning, nothing and they start talking to me. I despair, but if I were to do that I would be shouted at… it’s a losing battle!