But now, there’s sadness in his life owing to his slightly older-model Ferrari getting cracked up while in the custody of his Ferrari dealership. Of course, the dealership has offered to fix it up and/or offered to let him buy a newer, unused Ferrari at a higher price, but that’s not good enough for G.

*Apparently, the people behind the Secret Millionaire show wanted to show a big delta between the lifestyle of his real-life SoMA pad vs. the Tenderloin hovel that he shacked-up in during the filming of the show. Well, some people got carried away with the made-for-TV furnishings. So that’s where the zebra pelt and chandelier came in. Ironically, you might prefer to live in that hovel on Larkin Street – it’s not that bad, right across the street from Homeland Security. Typical Americans watching had no idea that the rent on that supposedly unlivable apartment in the Tenderloin was more than their flyover country mortgage payments…

Perhaps he’s abusing the staff at Yelp-rated Infinity Towers because of buyer’s remorse? You know, the nearby One Rincon building in SoMA is newer and taller – maybe that could account for G’s petulance.

Welcome passengers! Please empty your pockets and leave, as so many have done before you. (I keed. I keed because I love.) But seriously, stay as long as you’d like – go AWOL if you want. Just stay away from those darn exploding canisters. And stay away from the Internet that costs 50 cents per minute. Ouch.

What a tangled web we have. Click here to get up to speed on San Francisco’s recent, unintentionally hilarious spin through Fox’s Secret Millionaire Show. Now consider the case of poor, misunderstood Tenderloin Secret Millionaire Gurbaksh Chahal (or Gurbaksh “G” Chahal, or just “G” straight up, if you prefer). It seems he’s a little displeased with some of the feedback he’s been getting after his book-promoting appearance on Fox-TV a few days back:

In fact, G said “bam” three times in a row and then said “boom,” but those were obviously scenes that were cut together and nobody could be misled by that. But check the Hulu video at 11:20 to see the trick that was played on G and all the millions of earnest SM fans. G goes:

“Grocery shopping, you know it’s not that easy.”

We see him say the second part of the sentence, but not the first. Did somebody splice together that sentence? How real is that? If that’s acceptable as “reality” then how about this:

Is that kind of thing fair game? G is alleging that’s what the makers of Secret Millionaire did. If that sentence isn’t real, how much else isn’t real?

2. Did G’s pad look the way it did in order to please the TV people? Is this what one of those responsible really said?

“I am very proud of this project as it was a challenging one. I had to “dress up” (in addition to furniture, art accessories, a new lighting plan and flooring as well as stage it) almost 4,000 sqf in one month in order to fulfill my client’s as well as Fox’s network criteria as the penthouse used to film part of the Secret Millionaire show airing in fall. Fox was thrilled with the way it turned out (as they described it- it looked like a “movie set“)”

So it looked like a movie set so it could be used for a TV show? Really? That explains a lot, actually. But that’s not a problem with postproduction, but with preproduction, right? Did G spend more money on meeting somebody’s “criteria” for his penthouse than he spent actually giving away checks on the show?

(You know what would be more interesting than Secret Millionaire? The whole process of G trying to get onto and then taping a Secret Millionaire – I’d watch that. We’d get to see G dealing with the set dressers and the bug wranglers…).

Anyway, those are the two issues.

G, the reason why you’re mocked so much in town has a lot to do with envy but you’re giving people a big, fat slow-moving target. For example, instead of going:

“I ended up gifting well over $100,000….”

…you could say “giving” and then you might not sound so much like your new-found vanga vanga friends from Hollywood. And instead of you and your PR people worrying so much about your suspicious Wiki entry, just let it run wild and see what happens. You might be surprised.

Let’s hope you can keep your next reality production a little more real.

“Secret Millionaire is a dramatic new unscripted series that takes America’s wealthiest individuals away from their lavish lifestyles, sprawling mansions and private planes and places them undercover into some of the most impoverished neighborhoods in America.”

Now about that show. G was torn over the issue of how he’s supposed to apportion money to different people and organizations, but couldn’t he just give as much money as he wanted to whomever? This isn’t explained. Also unexplained is why G only gave away $90K when he was supposed to parcel out at least $100K.

Although the minimum required donation is $100,000, during the Episode 4 airing with millionaire Gurbaksh Chahal only $90,000 was shown (two $35,000 donations & two $10,000 donations). According to Chahal’s blog, the total donations exceeded $100,000, the exact amount is unknown.

There are probably some stories behind that more interesting than the show itself, but oh well.

Speaking of stories, why does it take three story assistants (Matt Jackson, Francisco Miccolis, and Chance Carter) to work on a reality show that pretty much writes itself? What did the denizens of the Tenderloin (just north of the Flank) think about G being followed around by all those cameras and lights all the time? Who kept a whole block of parking spaces open for G’s two-door Bentley when he visited St. Anthony’s? And if G wanted to do good this year, couldn’t he have just written a check to someplace like Marian Residence without going through the hassle of being on TV?