Krystal introduces burger-flavored moonshine

Moonshine still (Used under the CC-BY-2.0 license. Source: flic.kr/p/8tZtwU)

The fast-food restaurant chain Krystal, founded in Chattanooga in 1932 and best known for its square-shaped Krystal hamburger sliders, unveiled yesterday its new product: a burger-flavored moonshine.

Krystal was possibly inspired by another Chattanooga-born culinary treat, the Moon Pie, which earlier this year introduced Moon Pie-flavored moonshine, available in vanilla, chocolate and banana-flavored varieties.

Krystal Moonshine will simulate the taste of its famous Krystal burgers, capturing the flavor of hamburger meat, a steamed bun, onions, pickles, mustard and grease, and for the time being, it is only being sold in liquor stores while the company irons out the logistics of selling it at its restaurant locations.

“Our team of test kitchen chefs met up with the finest backwoods hillbilly distillers we could find,” said Krystal CEO Chas McKnutt. “It’s a product that both the discriminating artisanal-liquor-drinking foodie and the unrefined corn-fed hayseed booze-hound will enjoy.”

“The Krystal burger has long been considered the go-to late-night snack for sobering up after a long night of drinking,” said McKnutt. “Now, with Krystal Moonshine, you can experience that classic taste and bowel-lubrication of a Krystal burger while getting tanked, not just recovering from it.”

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