Pauline Kleinberg - October 28, 1982

Learning of Sister's Fate

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And first of all they all took and gave us a bath. And I thought that dirt will never come off. I was um, it wa...I, I hated to look at myself, at my body, and I was a young girl then--we were all very young. And they helped us, but then when we were--they took us to a hospital afterwards. I don't know if it was a temporary hospital or it was a steady hospital, and they had, they said--not far from here, we were now at the hospital from the survived prisoners, and we have lists. I heard the list, I said "Oh, those are our girls." Said that one is doing better, one is going to be okay, and one still needs helps. And then when she said they gave us names and the names were familiar. I knew the girls, the ones like I said, they were left behind from that uh, like my sister. Then I said, "Where's Manya Pariser?" She looked at the list, and she said, "Manya? Who is Manya to you?" I said, "My sister." I knew right away. The way she looked at the list. She said, "Who's Manya to you?" I said, "My sister." She said--she didn't say nothing. But to tell me, she didn't--she looked at me, she didn't say--I knew already, but I didn't want to believe it. And then when the, the--they--we had the--in the evening the Ru...we had the Russians, we had the um, Americans. Everybody had cheered for the moment, but I was again--I wasn't strong enough, but I was again--and like I wouldn't have anybody else but this one sister. And I knew some new tragedy. Because she was the one who said, "Hold on, hold on, it has to come to an end." And I said, "And she has to go and, and, and I have to be the survivor? Why me, from everybody else?" I didn't know about my other. But then I realized very much, I said, "My mother doesn't know I live. My sister Ola doesn't know I live, maybe they live too." And, and after, when I was released from the hospital, I was in no position to travel uh, af...af...from one city to the other.