a family in the making

Month: December 2011

My mom had a billion tests last week to measure how her treatments were working. And the results are in.

Drumroll please…

1. It was determined that she did not actually have a stroke. All of her symptoms were caused by a bone spur in her shoulder. I’m not sure what a bone spur is, but it’s definitely better than a stroke.

2. All of her tumor markers went down. Again, even after asking my mom, I’m still not sure what a tumor marker is, but I can assure you this is a very good thing.

3. The tumors in her chest and abdomen have not progressed. Halt, bitches!

4. The tumor in her left hip has shrunk. The tumor in her right hip has disappeared. That’s right, I said disappeared.

The only thing that’s not under control yet is the skin cancer, but the doctor’s are not as concerned about that because it’s not life threatening. The next course of action is to do two rounds of chemo pills (to hopefully get that skin cancer busted up) and then go back to the hormone treatments.

How am I feeling right now? Grateful. Grateful to all you for your thoughts and prayers. Grateful to my mom for being such a fighter. And grateful that we got this wonderful news just before Christmas. I couldn’t have dreamed-up a better Christmas present.

Oh, the holidays. ‘Tis the season of craziness. I blame them for my shoddy blog performance as of late. I promise to be better once the New Year rolls around. Right now I’m having trouble focusing for more than 2.5 seconds.

I wanted to take a moment to say that in just a few days, I will have been sober for three months. Three months! So far it has been pretty smooth. I would say the holiday season is the hardest it’s been yet, but definitely still manageable.

For example, my work party. I walked in to this.

How did this chick not pass out?

Yes, you are seeing that correctly. That is indeed a woman in a bodysuit, hanging upside down and pouring drinks. Now who wouldn’t want that lady to pour them a nice cocktail?

Also, let’s face it. I always feel socially awkward at big parties, especially work parties. A little upside-down drink would have helped me feel more comfortable. But instead, I snacked on some appetizers, chatted for a few minutes and rolled out before the dance floor started going strong. Did I feel lame? A little. Maybe in time I will learn how to not drink and still have a killer time at these functions, but I’m not there yet. And I’m okay with that.

Thanksgiving, on the other hand, was less of a problem. First of all, only four out of the twelve people at my house were drinking, so being in the majority made it easier. Secondly, since I wasn’t guzzling wine before dinner, I found that I wasn’t as full after my huge meal as I usually am. I didn’t have to change into sweatpants or lay on the floor. Score! Plus, I was just so happy to be spending time with my mom and the rest of my fam, that alcohol was pretty far from the forefront of my mind.

I still don’t feel any of the drastic changes people describe after giving up the sauce. My energy level is the same. I still have trouble getting out of bed and being productive on the weekends (case in point, I am writing this blog post from bed on a Sunday morning). But I do feel healthier. It’s a subtle thing, for sure. But overall, I feel more balanced, both physically and mentally. I also feel like I have more control over my thoughts and actions (in a good way—not a calorie counting, borderline eating disorder way).

That said, I saw a Jameson ad on Facebook the other day and got all nostalgic. That was my shot of choice, as well a major bonding activity with my best girl, Jill. So I’m still glad this whole abstaining thing isn’t permanent. But who knows, maybe when I do start drinking again, I’ll be able to just have a glass of wine or two with dinner and not feel the need to keep going until the bottle is sucked dry.

A girl can dream, right?

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