Last night I gave away eighty little treat bags I'd put together and had to break out some more bulk candy to finish.

I had several parents and children carrying extra treat bags for "sick kids" - never had that happen before. I asked one young lady/fairy princess of about eight who made such a request if she was scamming me for extra treats. Her eyes got big and she said, "Nuh-uh! Billy's real sick! He puked on th' cat and ever-thing!". Fair enough.

I had a group of about five teenage boys show up on the porch without a hint of costumes but offering a loud, enthusiastic and most likely drunk "TRICKERTREAT!!!". My rule is that if you show up at my doorstep on Halloween asking for candy I'll give you candy - period.

So I started handing them candy when one of them, who was wearing no shirt, said, "My costume is a half nekked gay guy!". His buds laughed and he laughed. I looked at him and said, "Oh yeah? Well, my wife works tomorrow - come talk to me then."

His buds laughed and he seemed a bit stunned. Just then my wife poked her head outside and said, "Actually, I was just going to the store to get a coke - do I need to stay gone a little longer?". That put his buds in tears and seemed to bring him back to the real world since he began to laugh again.

About 8:45, the pagan gods saw fit to kill power to the entire town and my analog organic jack o'lantern suddenly became the only source of light on the block and the trick-or-treaters all went home.

I set up a folding chair on the porch and started texting various relatives and friends with my nazi P38 9mm on my lap as I waited for hordes of zombies looking to much brains or Obama supporters hoping to treat themselves to my major electronics. Thank Odin, Allah and Sponge Bob the power came back on about ten with no shots having been fired.