Friday, October 12, 2018

Last month we reported that St. Louis-raised Kimberly Thompson, Beyoncé Knowles’ former drummer, had requested a restraining order against the singer for a whole big list of alleged offenses, including murdering Thompson’s pet kitten and casting “magic spells of sexual molestation.”

In a fairly incoherent video interview with DailyMailTV in September, Thompson said she regretted that the two had ever worked together. The experience was “disastrous,” the Pattonville High School alum claimed, because Beyoncé was “casting spells and manipulating” her and that “a lot of weird stuff started happening.”

Thompson then explained that she’d gotten a pet kitten. But “the cat started doing weird magical stuff,” so she consulted psychics who told her that “the cat has a spell on it” and that Beyoncé was responsible. Naturally.

And now — in a move that will shock nobody but Thompson — the court has dismissed the drummer's request for a restraining order.

Now we’ll never know what evil shit Beyoncé is up to, but it’s probably best that illuminati issues remain far from official government radar, anyway. They have enough problems to deal with in Washington without also getting cursed by Queen Bey.