Post-Trip Depression: It’s Often Emotionally Harder to Come Home than Go Away

Before my first trip around the world, I was driving through Boston with my friend Mike. One of the things I was talking about was how different life would be when I returned home. Where would my friends be in life? How would they have changed? What jobs would they have? New hobbies? New relationships? I imagined a world of possibility.

“Everything will be exactly how you left it,” he said. “When I studied abroad, I thought the same thing. But in truth, nothing will be different when you come home. Everything and everyone will be the same.”

I didn’t believe him. After all, a lot can happen in a year.

But when I came back, I realized he was right. I had changed but home hadn’t. My friends, now heading into their late twenties, had the same jobs, were going to the same bars, and were mostly doing the same things. Moreover, Boston itself just felt the same. It had the same pulse as it had had before.

It was as if home had remained frozen during my time away. I still loved my friends, family, and city, but I didn’t fit in anymore. I had outgrown living there. Home felt small and unrelatable — I had this fire in me that I couldn’t express to anyone, and it frustrated me. It yearned to try new things, go new places, and meet new people, but whenever I tried to express that, words fell flat. That fire was a feeling only those who had traveled seemed to understand — a simple nod to convey understanding of this shared bond.

As the excitement of home wore off, I wondered what was next. I was restless. I felt stale. Did I take this long trip only to end up right back where I started? No, of course not. I took it to grow.

Coming home is easier now than it was that first time in 2008, but the road still beckons me after just a few days. I know it’s there that I will find kindred spirits who understand me.

Every time a friend comes home from a trip, their first question to me is always, “How do you cope?” Returning home is hard, and few people address the reality that coming home is often an anticlimactic end to a life-changing experience.

After a year of mind-blowing adventures, you‘re back where you started — sitting on a couch, back in your apartment, or in your old bedroom, bored, anxious, and jittery. You find your friends don’t understand the new you, don’t want to hear about your time sailing the Pacific while they sat in rush hour, or don’t get why you feel so uncomfortable being back. “What? You don’t like it here anymore?”

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I had my first long-term travel experience last year, and returned home to Canada a few months ago. I completely relate to the feeling you are talking about here. Upon returning home, I felt like I was moving backwards–I had done this amazing thing and now I was coming back to the same place, the same life. Where do I go from here?

Eventually, I learned to use this longing for the road as a positive thing. Rather than feel that I was moving backwards, I tried to appreciate the experiences I’d had and use them to motivate me to get out there again. Working toward my next adventure keeps me feeling positive, and the realization that I’d outgrown my old life helped me to see that following my interests and passions is the only way to live.

The sensation of Regression …I’d like to add another perspective as my partner is off to see South America while mundane life goes on. I want him to grow and experience,am excited for him to broaden his horizon and get

Still I fear his first, I believe most impressing adventure far away is something that cannot entirely be shared by stories and pictures. I am left out somehow,the one that stayed at home,where not much happened.Where time,in comparison,stood still.

I just returned home from Paris & Rome! Truly a life changing experience & could not agree more with this post & comments. Trying to assimlate back into life & it’s hard. The passion I had is gone & find myself simply remisincing walking the streets in Paris & planning my next trip! Glad to know there are more of you out there like me, because this depression is real.

Best thing to do is buy plenty of wine. Face it – our dull life sucks. When we get back home from long travel we have this weird ‘out-of-body’ experience. The streets you drive down regularly feel different. Everything you have in the house is still there exactly how it was left – a mess. We do not have nice clean Ritz Carlton décor rather some crappy beat up couch and tv. Depressing – majorly. Buy tons of good wine & enjoy the absurdity of it all

I could’nt relate more. Thank you for this post.
«Once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return.» ? Leonardo da Vinci

Matt’s post and Sophie’s Da Vinci quote really resonate. Thanks to both of you. When I return from a long trip, I often find myself dreaming of the places I’ve been, and aching to return. Planning the next trip is often the only cure!

Truer words were never spoken! Thanks for addressing this very real “condition.” Having visited 97 countries so far, I experience what I like to call “the change of consciousness” when being in a new area a little longer than two weeks. You largely forget about home and totally adapt to the new environment and culture. Often — especially if you are having a positive time, and remain in good health — you just want to keep traveling! Yet when you ultimately return home, your own country actually looks rather strange for a time, and your relatives & friends (although they are happy to see you home safe again) have polite but limited interest in hearing about your life-changing experiences or seeing your photos. Hence you feel isolated and bewildered. I find that reading a lot more about the history and sites you have just seen helps in both comforting one’s depression and in “solidifying” the experience in your memory. Then, of course, it is soon time to plan for one’s next trip!

Thank you! Once you travel, you never want to stop. But people who haven’t traveled don’t understand that, don’t understand how you could actually yearn to sleep in a $8 hostel and get lost in a country where you don’t speak the language. They don’t understand how, even years later, those trips have changed you. Most of all, they don’t really want to hear about it when you get back because while you were going on a safari, touring the colosseum, or kayaking through a jungle, they were at home doing the same boring things they do every day. You can’t stop thinking about it but no one else wants to hear about it anymore so there’s this whole part of you that just kind of gets lost. Every time I start a sentence with “Well when I was in Kenya (or Italy, Germany, wherever)” I just anticipate the other person’s internal groan.

Coming home is hard. I’m 59 and it hasn’t gotten any easier. It’s about savoring that which was missed, your own bed, an almost sterile bathroom, a warm glazed donut. It takes effort to re-appreciate our environment and this effort is in direct proportion to how much we “got our fill” of the road. My travel hunger is rarely sated.

I am laughing out loud – I must have said “Well in Belgium…” 20,000 times this past weekend with friends. Pretty sure everyone wanted to smack me! No one cares about what happened there, what its like there or anything about it. Yet it is all I want to talk about! Am going through this exact situation right now after 3.5 years in Belgium. Never thought I would miss it so much!

Great post and certainly one I can relate to. I was feeling restless for the best part of a decade, and it was only three years ago that I realised that it was due to the fact that I had a burning desire to travel long term.

Now that I’m finally on the road and doing that, I’m already wondering how I’ll ever ‘cope’ with settling in one place for longer than a few months again. It scares me senseless. That monotony, that feeling of ‘stale’ as you put it.

Home will always be home, with its routine and sameness. And that is what makes me miserable!

Matt, you nailed it! When I’m traveling I’m so much more vibrant, curious, and outgoing. I find it so natural to strike up conversations with strangers, and have made some lasting friendships while traveling. My favorite topic is “where have you been and what have you seen”. It is an easy conversation to have when traveling, but at home no one seems interested.

The MOST hurtful thing that happened when I did my around the world in 2012-2013 was the lack of interest from my “friends” on Facebook. Here I was, living out my life’s dream, and I couldn’t get 10 people to like my post of the Monkey Forest in Bali. My brain could not comprehend until one friend said to me, “It’s not that I don’t care, it is that I’m still here, struggling with my life and bills. You’re off posting pictures of fabulous hotels and exotic locations. I’m jealous.” That, I could grasp.

I asked some of the friends I’d made during my travels if they’d experienced the same thing and the answer was a resounding, YES! It didn’t matter the race, gender, or nationality. It seems to be a human condition. Haters gonna hate.

When we returned after nearly a year, I was broke, jobless and homeless. My son (who had traveled with me) and I had to move in with my mother. I was 47 and felt like I had lived my dream, but come back a failure. Every time I heard a plane fly overhead, I wanted to be on it. I didn’t care where it was going, I just wanted to be the vibrant person I was when traveling.

My story has a happy ending. After a month back home, I had a job, a new apartment, and my son was registered for college. We went to NYC for our birthdays in May,and I recently returned from 2 weeks in Spain where I met up with some of the great people I’d met in Malta and Bali.

I’ve learned that I don’t have to run away from home for a full year to get my travel addiction fed.

I think it is an American condition, sorry, friends in other countries are way more interestet and want to see Photo’s and hear the stories. We live half of the year in Berlin and travel from there and half in Florida.

The best part of coming home after a long trip is the reverse culture shock! It’s such an amazing sensation and really gives you another way to look at what you’ve learned on the road.

But really, once you leave for the long-term it’s really impossible to go back, much less settle in. I left the USA on a study abroad year in 2003 and have only been back for visits in the 11 years since then. Life moves much more slowly “back at home” and I knew it just wasn’t the place for me. As you say, the road is where we belong!

Reverse culture shock is the worst! The food here is way more rich and fatty than anywhere in South America and I felt sick for weeks. Plus, I felt like I had to learn how to drive again because I hadn’t driven any vehicle in more than six months. I panicked the first time I got on the freeway and probably made everyone around me crazy. It also made me sick to see how expensive everything was. Just put a deposit on an apartment was painful!

Oh well. It’s part of the experience. I’m heading back to South America for a third time in April and cannot wait! It almost feels more like home than home does.

Great post Matt!
I think that those of us who experience this emptiness when we are back home are often misunderstood. We’re labelled as hippies, phonies and other things but the truth is that the changes that have become a part of who we are are very real.
How can we not change after having experienced everything that long term travel offers?
It’s hard to explain this to family and friends without sounding self righteous.

I think the worst is when people think you don’t want to grow up and THAT’S why you travel. Seriously? I saved up tons of money for this trip and manage every penny on the road, and I probably do it a lot better than people back home do running their “grown up” lives. If you don’t want to get married and start popping out babies it’s like the end of the world for some people. I’m just glad that my parents understand and aren’t pushing their 29 year old daughter for grand babies yet. 😉

Yes, the post-trip blues are often very real, but this post reeks of condescension. Long-term travel is fueled partly by frugality, industriousness and sacrifice, but also privilege and a solid support system.

Think about people who may not have the good fortune of all these factors lining up before looking down upon those who are “doing the same things” as the year prior… This may not apply to your late-20’s friends who grew up in suburban Boston, but for many living the rat race, it’s out of necessity and often survival.

Ben, I don’t think Matt or anyone else is “looking down” on or “condescending” to people who cannot or have not traveled. I interpret this article to say that there is a disconnect. I think it is similar to single friends vs. friends with kids. Your focus is fixed on different goals and experiences making it hard to relate.

For me, it is all about the choices we make in life. I stayed single and had a job that allowed me to travel worldwide, so I did… had I become married, bought a house, a brand new car, etc, I’d probably would not have been able to travel the way I did. And I admit I’m sometimes jealous of friends my age who already have families, live in the suburbs and such. But – you can’t have your cake and eat it too. Choices. Between spending in stuff and spending in experiences, I chose the latter. At least if I decide to finally settle down from this point on, I’ll be satisfied to know that I did what I wanted when I was able to.

That’s not true! This is what I thought as I looked at my friends whose parents paid for their tickets abroad and took care if their uni fees. I’ve not taken a cent from anyone and my family/friends back home really just made/make things more challenging. I left with next to nothing and I will return with that. I have done a lot of work overseas but it was worth it, all you need is the nerve to give up everything.

I can totally relate, and everything truly does stop in time while you’re gone. It’s so weird to go visit people at your old job (for example) and everyone continued to do the same thing everyday while you were off having crazy adventures. I think that’s the strangest thing to me.

I can relate to a degree as well. While I was gone only 3 months and didn’t experience any depression upon my return, coming home to my apartment was THE most surreal experience of my life. It was unsettling and disorienting. It felt a though I’d been gone forever and as though I’d never left. Compounding that unsettling feeling was the fact that my co-op sold the first weekend I left, and I had to move out w/in 8 days of my return. NOT fun.

What I find astounding is that many people don’t really care that I did. What to ME is an amazing thing, they don’t think much of it. So many people are scared what leaving the work force for a while will do to their careers, but frankly, no one cares! Granted, I was gone for only three months, so perhaps a year or more would make a greater impact there.

The other day, someone asked why I would do that (travel to Europe for 3 mos.) and I said, “Because it’s there!” She barely acknowledged my response and moved on. What is WRONG with people?! 🙂

The biggest change I experienced personally is a strong aversion to going back to the same-old when it comes to work. The thought of having a “real” job makes me really antsy and I can’t even imagine it. I’m a “professional temp” and hope that works for the next few years at least!

Well worded, Matt! I never felt quite home after my first journey studying abroad. Something about living there just was never quite right. Two week ago now, I moved to Spain for at least a year and live life as I see fit from there. Ironically, I feel more at home now than I have in the past 4 years living comfortably and working a 9 to 5. It’s an odd feeling to describe to others who have never experienced it, so reading your piece was an excellent description of what I have been feeling for quite some time. Thank you.

I felt the exact same way when I got back from six months abroad, Matt. I thought I was losing my mind. I’d have to go for long drives listening to loud music. If I didn’t live on an island, I would’ve driven away long ago.

I’ve been back for six months now and think everyday about leaving again (which I will be doing soon). As you said, nothing changed, and I no longer feel I belong here. The road calls constantly, and staying here is really tough sometimes.

I long for adventure, new experiences, and people who understand me, and make no mistake, I’ll have them soon!

I’ve had the reverse culture shock. Life at home can seem so unchallenging and you need something on your return list beyond sleep in my own bed and catch up with friends. I wonder if setting a major ‘at home’ goal would help, like training for a marathon or some other project.

We were away for almost 4 years – and most people at home had been “static”, nothing had changed, and they weren’t even really interested to hear our stories. Most changes had happened AROUND them (not to them): new buildings, higher rents, a new road, a different owner in our favorite coffee shop…
We tried our best, but after 4 years home we’re back on the road – open ended!

Post-trip depression should be embraced–not feared. If you don’t feel out of place when you return home from a trip, it means that trip didn’t impact you in the way it should have. Like you said, quality travel changes people.

People are so afraid of things changing while they’re gone, but why? Everything is going to be exactly the same when you return…except for you.

Alex, you make a great point. For the first half of my adult life, I was a travel agent. I’d go on trips as far and as long as my pay and vacation time would take me. Usually it was to Cancun, the Caribbean, and once as far as Hawaii. Those trips didn’t have the same effect as the full year I spent away.

Reminds me of a poem I found by Robert Service after returning from a short vacation. I still struggle to re-adjust back to “normal” life even after short trips. Although it was written a long time ago, it still applies (below is just an excerpt):
There’s a race of men that don’t fit in,
A race that can’t stay still;
So they break the hearts of kith and kin,
And they roam the world at will.
They range the field and they rove the flood,
And they climb the mountain’s crest;
Theirs is the curse of the gypsy blood,
And they don’t know how to rest…

It might be the American way of writing, Matt, but it always seems that your own personal life comes before your subjects in your opening sentences/paragraphs (“Before my first trip around the world, …”). Don’t do that. Please, just don’t. Instead, bring your pieces alive with recognizable/relatable opening sequences. Paul Theroux has a great quote: “You go away for a long time, and you return a different person. You never come all the way back.” You never want to go into plagiarism, however, such quotes may serve as an inspiration.

I’m still working on a blog post on this subject, which deals with the underlying psychological reasons, not just the experience that you are dishing up in a post that seems to want to polarize, to make a distinction between the superior traveler and the inferior stay-at-homer. On my travels, I will never forget that it is only because of the people who stay at home and go to work, that we can actually travel.

If those people would not be in that traffic jam while you are sailing the Pacific (which is not all that riveting in itself, as you are surely aware of), then how would we travel? We travel only thanks to our Western economy. The inhabitants of Bairiki, Buariki and Bonriki do not always have this opportunity, even when they are craving the desire, like all of us who read this kind of websites. Our travels would come to standstill if people in Boston, and all its equals throughout North-America and Europe, would decide to up and leave.

But seriously: Jo, I’m sorry that you find my words offensive but I will not withdraw them. Reversed culture shock is a very real phenomenon that I’m all too familiar with but it’s not a depression as if you need to go see a shrink. There are different ways of coping with it. What I read here is people victimizing themselves upon their returning home and finding a cure in a new trip, in effect becoming society’s escapee (“They don’t understand me anymore. I’m outta here!”). That, Jo, is very offensive to those people whom you expect to understand you. But what is there to understand? That you blew all your money after you went scuba diving, elephant riding, sky diving, etc., and are now sitting at home with the folks, having to be home at 6pm for dinner while the ATM won’t dispense anymore money for you to join your friends at the cinema?

Come on, people. It is all part of it. Departures are arrivals. The moment you start your journey you are already on the way home. And when you come back, it is not you who has moved on while the rest of the world stood still. In fact, it is quite the opposite. The people at home have moved on while you took a break.

Traveling is the greatest university of learning, you do develop, you do grow as a person and I would never give it up, but the truth is that you don’t move on. And that is the confrontation that comes with returning home: other people have. You can either call it a depression, or you take it on the chin and… move on.

Hi Jeroen, I enjoyed reading your reply. It gave a fresh take on this matter. It has also helped me dealt with my own feelings and to not run away from them but to just simply, as you put it, move on…. Thank you.

Wow what a post, how true thought we were the only one’s! I left for a short trip overseas to discover europe & a shortish working holiday 13 years ago, then returned 9 years later with a husband. The thought of returning home was exciting. A new start & a new family, however after returning home I realised nothing changes, only the fact that we now have two children & want to go again!

I really need help!! the travel bug has ruined my life. My relationships, friendships, careers and even my business.. I started recently and invested lots of money. But now the travel bug has taken over and making me give it all up once again!!! Seriously I don’t think having the urge to travel for ever is good and I just want to be a normal person!!

Hi Matt,
I think the understanding of why we feel what we feel, you actually wrote above in your article.
“coming home is an anticlimactic end to a life changing experience.”
There you have it in black and white. It’s the anti-climate we have to learn to deal with. The stimulation that being on the road gives to us, from new places, experiences, people. The way it connects us totally with ourselves outside of society, is a wonder to behold. We can get to know who we truly are!

I felt the happiest I have ever felt in my life, when I travelled for 9 months with my husband and children. Fulfilling my dream of travel – educating my children in the best way possible. Enjoying my freedom. Sharing that with my husband.

I think different to most – when I returned home I noticed the small changes which had been ongoing in our town. How one person responded to me full of love and helped us settle back in. Another felt emotionally anxious about how I would respond to them on my return. Some felt jealous – I try not to judge this more than anything else. If they have the courage to tell me they are jealous – then I can commiserate with them, if it is something they would like to do but think will never be able. Even if I can help them in some to step towards a dream – however big or small.

I have adult children now and as much as I want to leave society, I also have the commitments I choose within my family. Now I can’t thing of anything better than being able to travel away, but being able to come home. Financially my needs as an adult – comes into play as well.

Travel has brought about many interesting changes in my life – so fantastic, some difficult, some even causing illness. Others propelling my children on to live different lives than they would have, if brought up within society completely. I’ve engaged them in community and shared with them freedom and hope that both provide something for each of them. One who is now a Professional Freerunner and one who resides at the moment at the tender age of 19 training to become a divemaster.

I never knew this was an actual thing, but I’ve felt it. I find it so hard to relate to those at home now, not just because they haven’t seen all the things I’ve seen, but we have such different priorities… they all want to get married, buy a giant house, shiny cars, and more things and have babies. I just don’t know if that’s for me.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I have been dealing with this in all the months since we came back from the Thailand. I have found myself seeking comfort in places of my life where it’s inappropriate. I have fond a lack of understanding and loss where I thought I would. I have felt a long, endless wonder if I’ll ever come truly back. To my “life”, my future, my good nature, planning… I really appreciate this post. There are no easy answers. But it helps to know you’re not alone.

I’ve been ‘home’ for a month now, and it’s been pretty tough to drag myself out of this depression. It’s so true that nothing at home changes. And here I am…all changed. I’m hoping that smaller trips will help quench my thirst for the road for awhile, but otherwise, drastic measures will have to be taken. 🙂

Coming back to Canada after nearly five weeks of heaven in Austria, Liechtenstein, and Iceland really sucked. Not because Canada isn’t awesome, cuz it is, but just because I wasn’t ready to come home. I’ve been “home” now for over a month yet I don’t FEEL home. I feel, mentally at least, like I am far, far away. In less than a year I officially finish university and then I am moving to Asia to teach English, so at least I know I’ll be free soon!

In my experience, it’s just as hard for the people close to the one traveling – most times they can’t comprehend why the traveler cannot be happy or content at home anymore and that can lead to conflicts. We need to address and acknowledge the issue in order to deal with it. Thanks for a highly relevant post, Matt.

In one week I’ll return from my longest time away thus far (13 months). I’m excited to see everyone. But, as you said, I know those feelings will somewhat quickly subside. However, I have things that will keep me busy. Also, I have a rough idea of when I’ll be leaving again which is only about 6 weeks. Because of this short time frame, I think I’ll be ok and be able to embrace the time I have with people. I know ill be on the road again soon so maybe I’ll be able to enjoy my home time rather than feel suffocated by it. Hopefully.

Great post thank you for all that commented, so true hard to be at home! I live in Canada and last year 92013) spent about 4 and a half months in India and South East Asia with my boyfriend of 10 years. This was our second long trip our others were only a month or so. We are so addicted, however, not sure where to go next! We are advanced scuba divers so we definitly enjoy diving and snorkelling. I think I am actually depressed over living at home…..bored….wanting more out of life so yes its a contagious way of life travelling the world. Our goal is to buy an engine yacht and explore that way….we would definitly have to learn how to do that! It is good to read other peoples thoughts thanks for sharing, this site is now bookmarked, thanks Jordana

Frequent travellers often rate above average in a psychological trait known as ‘Openness to Experience’ – means we’re highly stimulated by novelty and adventure – take that away and depression is the result.

One obvious explanation contributing to depression after coming home is often the fact that travellers have blown through their travel funds and are forced back to the grindstone to try to raise more funds for travel. Freedom to travel and a wallet flush with funds is obviously going to make you much happier than being broke and working 9-5 in a cubicle!

Another point to bear in mind is that most people lead somewhat mundane lives – and not by choice – many might like to travel but haven’t figured out how to do it cheaply – reading ‘Nomadic Matt’ could help 😉 But its understandable that the stay-at-homes might not be too enthusiastic reading about others peoples exciting adventures and travel – they’re perhaps a bit depressed themselves on what they’re missing out on.

I Recently returned home after almost 3 years living in a different city .traveling and meeting new people. I\’m so excited i found this blog i was just thinking trying to figure out why i feel so alone and sad .. This helps me alot. i feel like i failed coming home with no funds because i was robbed of all my money after a accident on my moped. so my family though it best i return to heal i agreed .. Now im all healed and i feel like im ready to go back traveling. but i have to work in order to get back out . which really makes me sad because i have to start all over again. i left with nothing and now im back with nothing i gave everything to my family when i left and ofcousre the didnt even use it but they wont give it back either. i didnt expect them to but just to understand how i feel returning to nothing with only a few things. I\’t hurts me to be back like this felling helpless. like im a homeless person . i stay with my mom and i\’ve only been home a month . i found a job but i\’tds not the kind of Job my family approve of .. just money for me to get back on my way through life . I dont feel comfortable here in my home town anymore i\’m not the same. But my family thinks i am and try to bring me back to the old person i use to be . The atmosphere has not changed . the way they live have not change. but everyone has grown up and moved on. Now im here feeling left out of the group. I didn\’t think it was possible to leave and try and bette your life and your family just forget you exsist .. thats a bit weird to me. but reading this help me understand a few reasons why i been so depressed lately. I have no Money No real home and no family. it\’s like they are here but the connection is forever forgotten. so sad.

I’ve never gone away for very long, just short stints of a couple of weeks out there then back, but still get the same feeling when I am back home..part of me is glad to be in my comfort zone, another part of me is like, “When can I get out there again??” I get jittery after a couple of weeks, and just have to get out, even if it means just to a neighbouring country..:-)

OMG, this! I have friends who have *never* travelled, I have a friend who has decided a holiday involves only lying and reading for a week, either in her cosy holiday apartment or at the beach. A whole week! I mean. What?

Wow I think this is a really rude comment. You may have your ambitious travel plans and ticking stuff off your bucket list, but reading requires much concentration, imagination and effort, you cannot just simply brush it off and assert your self-righteous “wanderlust’ girl” identity to everyone.

Yep, there’s just absolutely no way that people who haven’t travelled long-term can understand what we go through. I think the hardest thing is that they feel rejected by our post-trip depression. They may not say so, but they often think, “What, we’re not good enough for you now?” And this can give rise to the whole “(Insert name) thinks he/she is so good just because he/she went overseas for a bit” thing, which we can presume is jealousy but is really their wounded feelings coming out in the only way they know how.

Unfortunately sometimes there’s just no way the two worlds can see eye to eye. And if you truly have outgrown the place you used to call home, the only thing you can do is wish everybody well and pursue your new home with fervor.

Thank you Matt for another spot on post. Yes, my fellow support group members you remind me that I am not alone in my feelings!

My friends and family have gotten a little used to my reverse culture shock of how I behave after I return from one of my trips. Those who have traveled can relate, but many others have such different lives so I don’t even mention my travels to them.

It is a challenge to know if others are jealous, think you’re bragging even when that is not your intention at all. I’ve taken to not telling some I work with who are jealous and wish others the worst out on their trips (with a laugh, but that doesn’t cancel what you just said).

I was most depressed at the thought of how long it would be before my next trip so my “cure” was traveling vicariously, researching where I’d like to go next and being grateful I had the chance the travel. For me, it would be torture if I was on the “no fly” list.

Definitely the best thing you can do is to start planning your next trip. It’s nice to get home for some normality, but it doesn’t take long for the wanderlust to set in. So many places to see, activities to do, and new people to meet. Some of us can never get the travel bug out of our system. Many of our friends just don’t understand, and some never leave their routine, which we don’t understand.

Thanks Matt! I only just discovered your blog last year before I planned a big 2 month trip to Europe by myself. This is the first time I’m actually commenting on your page because I just wanted to let you know how awesome your blog is and how much it has helped me with traveling. Sometimes I even find myself a little obsessed with reading your blog and others! My big 2 month trip was my first backpacking experience and I LOVED it. I’m different because of it…and this blog just makes me feel less alone about how strongly feel about traveling. so thanks!

When I get back from amazing trips, I like to post reviews online of the places I’ve visited. As I write the reviews (and when I reread them later), I get to revisit these places, plus the reviews help future travelers.

You don’t necessarily have to travel long term or abroad to experience post trip depression. For those of us who don’t get to travel abroad for whatever reasons, we go on our domestic adventures and feel the same things that long-term travelers do. There is something about getting away from routine and your comfort zone and discovering our country, if not the world at large, is much bigger and attractive than what you’ve known that makes going back home like trying to turn back the clock so you can somehow relive the past. Impossible! (At least without the prospect of getting away again soon!!)

This post really resinates with me. I recently came back from a 2 month long solo backpacking trip through Europe, and I have felt uncomfortable at home ever since. I don’t seem to connect with my friends and family like I used to, and I am constantly trying to find new ways of getting away from my home and anything that seems too familiar. It scares me because I do not always want to feel this way. Being 20 years old and having just completed this fantastic adventure, I feel as though those around me are judging me for not appreciating everything that home has to offer. Hell I’m from Los Angeles, born and bred, but I soon realized upon returning that LA has never really been a home to me. Home to me is anywhere that is unknown, anywhere that is shocking, and anywhere that offers itself to me to explore. I’ve noticed that since coming back I can’t really concentrate on living in the moment, perhaps because I can anticipate what is going to happen next. I find myself looking at pictures of my trip for hours instead of actually engaging in my community. I am now already planning my next trip abroad but am worried that I will come back with this same feeling. I agree that it is like a depression. Traveling makes me feel more alive than anything else in the world. It is like my drug, and the comedown is fairly painful.

Yeah, the reverse culture shock… The best is to get your mind busy by planning the next trip! Even if it’s months away, the excitement is the best coping mechanism!
At least that’s how it works for me 🙂
Thanks, Matt..!

I definitely agree that returning home is much harder than leaving in the first place. I even find it hard to return home for a visit sometimes-after all, flights to New Zealand are so expensive that I end up picturing all the travel I could do in Asia instead.
I think the hardest part is that unless you’re speaking to other travellers, many people don’t “get” long term travel and don’t see the appeal. So I’m often the odd one out in groups of people who only travel to Australia or Fiji every few years.

It’s always hard to leave again though, and I find that the longer I stay away from home, the less I miss it!

Right now, I’m experiencing the opposite problem – too much change. Within days of returning home, I had to move out of my apartment, my parents moved out of their home of 30 years, and a couple months later, I’ve had to resign from my job due to the whole “technically homeless” thing. Cherish the normalcy and routine! Losing it is like traveling a foreign land, but without any of the fun parts.

Oh and by the way, I only lasted four weeks at home after being gone for almost a year. Then went to Germany. Because as every good traveler who´s ever travelled anywhere knows, one must always go to Germany afterwards, touring the country to visit all those you met on your travels. Thank god I´m European. It only took an hour and 40 bucks 😉

I can really relate to this Matt! Coming home from a study abroad term and leaving my wonderful, spontaneous class mates was hard enough, but I did stay in one place during the entire time and lived a sort of normal every day life, however great and awesome. Almost immediately I moved to Norway to work (to get money for travel of course!) and it was the same after that, people were a little interested but soon grew tired of hearing of it. I could never start a sentence with “when I was in England/ Norway I…” without hearing a loud mental sigh from whomever I was talking to. No one could comprehend the fact that I had CHANGED, that I craved MORE than a small life in our little town.

But coming back from almost a year of backpacking and working my way through wonderful New Zealand was even worse. I had met so much awesome people from all over the world, had my plans changed again and again, faced my very worst fears and overcome them (hello skydive and spelunking extreme!) and become a person who could befriend a stranger within minutes and say cheers in more languages than I can count. I came back to people who didn´t want to hear about it at all. I might as well not have been gone. But all that I had learnt, all that new insight inside me was screaming to be heard. I actually felt depressed for the first time in my life.

Now however, I´m back in Norway to work and however boring it is I try to use this time studying languages and planning my next trip, a trip that will take me through the states, South America and South east Asia, the Carribean and Australia if all goes well. I cannot wait to be back on the road! I have the travel bug alrighty!

I totally feel what you’re saying! I’ve done Australia plenty of times, and can tell you a cheap and fun way to do the famous east coast backpacker trail if you like! From tropical beaches to edgy Melbourne… It’s the most legendary trail I’ve come across, outside of the Mecca that is Thailand.

Thank you Matt for such a great article, it actually brought tears to my eyes because it is so true. Last year I finally went on my long dreamed of extended hostelling world trip as a solo senior; 12 months, 17 countries, 34 cities, 16 villages and 6 islands. Although I was ready to come home at the end of the 12 months I can’t settle, as you say after the hugs are hugged out and the welcomes are done only mundane day to day is left and the road keeps calling. I have (sort of) temporarily solved the problem by visiting friends back here in Australia, but it’s not quite the same, most, understandably, don’t want to hear the stories for more than 5 minutes and get bored with the photos very quickly because they can’t relate. Planning trips back here to events in various places also helps. I promised all my FB and blog followers that I would continue writing as if I am a tourist in my own country so they can get a feeling for Australia through a locals experiences. Connecting on social media with all the amazing friends I made while travelling sometimes helps but sometimes makes the yearning to be elsewhere worse.
I have found that writing my blog of my trip helps a lot (I was having too much fun on the road to write extensively at the time) reliving the experiences through my photos and stories and putting everything into perspective is just wonderful and helps focus the thinking of where to go next and where to re-visit. I’m also selling up and moving to live by the coast for a while. Living by the beach will help with the travel bug for a while until I decide where to go next. Thanks again for your story and yes, it is a ‘condition’ as all of the replies from your readers agree. It seems to me that each of us needs to somehow find a balance between ‘home’ and travel in order to feed both those needs.

I love reading your blog posts. I studied abroad in Brazil in high school, and for the next four years I attributed every “positive” in my life to the experience, and continued to call it home. I finally stopped with this obsession when I finally managed to travel and live abroad again, in college, this time in Costa Rica & Nicaragua. I fell completely in love with Nicaragua.

I thought that maybe coming back this time, I would be more ready for the reverse culture shock, or depression of being home. I was wrong. I came home to a “honeymoon” phase where I was in love with everything of being back in the states, however I quickly realized I longed to be somewhere else.

The situation I feel like I’m in right now, is what I consider the worst. I have been gone long enough to have created amazing stories that I want to share with others, but I have also been back long enough so that no one wants to actually listen to my stories anymore.

A great article and I can totally relate to you! After coming back from the Netherlands to Sydney, I was kinda upset and I wasn’t motivated to do anything, that includes both work and uni. When I thought my friends would be so excited to listen to my overseas adventure, they didn’t really seem very keen and I felt like I couldn’t relate to them. That feeling really sucks.

Nevertheless, I found a way to cure my post-travel blues, exploring in my own city. Even though I have been staying in Sydney for a substantial period of my life, I just realised there are still a lot of places waiting for me to discover, and I am sure Boston is the same as well!

I can relate all too well. After three months Interrailing last summer, coming back home to the same faces in the same places is hard to come to terms with right away. Obviously, it’s great to see family and friends again, but I’ve found it hard to fit in with those who haven’t travelled (and almost feel bad for gushing about my experiences). Like you say, the best remedy, I think, is to keep on travelling, keep on exploring, keep on planning that next trip, that new adventure 🙂

Last year both my partner and I returned from seperate trips with exactly the same feeling: we gotta get outta here!

Now we have just arranged to go home after a 6 month trip and we know that that very same feeling will be amplified. However, if we see a new trip as a new chapter, all we need to do is create chapters at home. We look forward to saving for our lives together, buying a house, having kids and interspersing that with travel.

Thanks for this, just got home a month ago and it was great to read your ideas on being back in the grind. Dam I miss the road, sat on the TTC (Toronto Transit System) tonight and stared out the window trying to pretend I was touring the city, just to feel better about being home.

I gave up my life at home 3 years ago to travel/work around the world. I’ve been back home a few times and I’ve struggled to the point of developing anxiety. So I leave again to ease the pain. I’d love nothing more than for people at home to understand the way I feel, that you have to adjust to an old life as a new you.

‘People think that being alone makes you lonely, but I don’t think that’s true. Being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliest place on earth’

I love home. And I’m about to return after 3 years, with the intension to stay (mainly because I’m feeling pressure from my family) But sometimes the memories and ability to leave still takes the wind out of me!

It’s good to know I’m not the only one! And I’ve read some good tips on positive things to focus on 🙂

I feel exactly the same! I was away for 2 years living in Melbourne and coming back few weeks ago has been adjustment to say the least. As everyone has pretty much said, nobody really wants to hear about it and are too busy fitting you back into their own lives. You sort of feel like an observer and they get mad when you try to explain your depression. Somehow it becomes about them and how you don’t care enough about them. It feel like a dead end trying to explain yourself aswell.

I just came back from an amazing 2 week trip from Morocco and Italy where I had amazing new experiences and met some great people who I will continue to try and keep in touch with. I miss new cities and towns, exploring, doing many new activities, meeting new people, and hearing other languages spoken. While abroad I got to practice speaking French (which I found I’m not too good at) to people from other countries. Coming back to the US, I find it very hard to keep up with a foreign language and wish I could just stay abroad and work and practice languages. However until my job opportunities allow this, I’m stuck working where I do now. How do you cope with this “wanderlust” as I call it, or desire to travel often? I don’t consider it usually a bad thing, but it is making me really upset in my daily life that I am not abroad having fun adventures.

Hi,
I have never travelled long-term as such (it is something I have longed to do but have lacked courage) but I can definitely relate to this..

I have returned from an amazing experience in another country. I met up with friends, got to drink free wine at an important reception (and got a bit drunk, but that is another thing!), cleared my head quite a bit, felt a freedom away from my stultifying home situation (I don’t even like using the word “home”. That is how I feel and for that I am only look shamefaced and apologise).

I am back, and whilst realising how immensely lucky I was to have such an opportunity, I want to scream because I hate it here so much, and the thought of wasting any more years here makes me want to howl with terror and frustration. I (really) struggle with a suffocating family and a small town. I have already booked to get away from here again in the summer – I just have to hold on to some sanity before then, right? I detest what this place does to me..

Anyway, I’ve really welcomed all of the posts here, and will definitely keep reading this blog.

I can totally relate to this. Thanks Matt for this ingenious post. I started long-term traveling 6 years ago. I just came back home to feel somehow misplaced and only stayed for a while than I had to leave again for the next adventure. Two years ago, I got pregnant and thought that I have to give up my passion for being on the road. But I can tell you now, that still everything is possible. I travel with my baby boy and he loves it. I just want to say you don’t have to decide between either this or that. When I come home now from my travels everyone is really excited how I managed it with the baby. So you can share your pictures and stories. And it helps to overcome the post travel depression a little as you aren’t alone. You have your small family who almost feel the same . you know, misery loves company ????

I have never really even considered this!!!… Which is crazy after being back in the UK for almost 3years now!!! I worked overseas and travelled for just touching 6 years and coming home for short breaks (1-7days) were I had the chance were fine but long term EUGH… The thought of that no thank you!!!
Anyway here I am … Certainly velvet after 3 years I would not say I’m ‘settled’ and ‘content’… I still work in travel to keep my perks and believe me get away as much as I can…. This year I’m slowing down a little but not from choice!! I wonder if this yearning to be overseas, in new surroundings, cultures and different people will ever simmer… Or will I meet my kindererd spirit who will enjoy it will me!!?!
Who knows!!! Great article Matt!! X

I feel this way now. I live about 6 hours away from the closest family I have. I live in PA and my grandparents live in VA. My dad lives in Winnipeg, Canada. So we all met at my grandparents’ house for the week. This was the first time my 2.5 year old daughter met my grandfatheR and my aunt who lives down the road. I never felt such a feeling of belonging and family. I came home yesterday to a her boyfriend (my daughters father) and other senseless things. I feel alone again. Maybe I guess If I had a better supportive partner it would Be easier.

I am seriously depress right now. After traveling and living abroad for 2.5 years, i am “home” in a place where i don’t feel like i belong anymore. I’m really having a hard time coping up- i just need to go back to Paris. I am too depress. I don’t have anyone to talk to, I have friends here but they will never understand me. I know its gonna be worse in the coming days. *Sigh*

I got back from my first travel experience doing a semester abroad in Ireland a couple months ago. Every single day, I find myself longing for the freedom I had when I was over there. I missed home and my friends after a while, but now that I’ve been back for a couple months, I feel slightly out of place. The last semester actually feels like it was just a dream, like I didn’t actually have that amazing experience. It’s hard to describe; there was always an opportunity to visit a new place or learn some new culture, and it’s not the same back home. I look at my hometown with disdain; everyone is so stagnant. I get very anxious thinking about the future, because I don’t want my years to slip through my fingers working a full time job every day. I’m doing an internship right now, and I have a taste for what the 40 hour work week life is like, and I hate it to be quite honest. Some people grow up knowing what their passion is, and pursue that career, but I have no idea what kinds of passions I have that I can turn into a career. I’ve realized that I am passionate about experiencing different things, and that can really only come from traveling. I think there is some merit to being home for some people, but I don’t think I am one of those people.

I’ve been ranting, but I’m really just scared of losing my young adulthood to the corporate machine. I’ve seen what’s out there in the world, and I want to experience more of it.

Perhaps paying more attention to the present moment is the key. Why is it that you are aware of the newness in the obvious, a new country, but blind to the ever changing moments where you live? Don’t you notice the seasons? How blind are you to the people around you that you can’t see they’re whole universes to explore in themselves? Wherever you are life is new in every moment. This is what travel can teach you. You are travelling wherever you are. Wake up. There is no such thing as home or the familiar, it’s only a deluded perception of you allowing yourself to go to sleep and fall into humdrum thinking. Hence the old saying ‘you take yourself with you’.

Man…thank you so much for writing this article and all the informative comments. Just got back from Korea the other month and just went through this. I’ve read this article a dozen times. SO therapeutic. Can’t wait to travel again and get lost every damn day haha. If anyone’s headed to Japan or Taiwan hit me up!

After 1 year of travelling I’m about to return home but I don’t really want to yet. This one, single year travelling feels like an experience worth five to ten years back home, years wasted on daily routine and retrospectively on nothing special anymore. As this article and many people here had already stated I feel I won’t fit into my old life anymore and I don’t want to go back to my former self. I hoped that at the end of my journey I will know what I’m going to do with my future but I still don’t I didn’t receive any enlightenment I’ve been seeking outside in mother nature, spending my time on the road and in my tent in the forests and mountains. Ive experienced freedom which I am clearly not ready to give up yet. When I’m back home I don’t know what to do, what job to apply for where to live, but I don’t think it’s significant anymore because I believe I’m not afraid anymore, because it doesn’t matter to me. It all appears so insignificant now because I gave up on any luxury I had one year ago and left the comfort zone, which gave me the illusion of safety by taking my freedom. I realized what happiness is by experiencing new freedom, by being cut of from civilization, by meeting true, non-artificial, non-superficial people, by trying out different jobs without feeling pressure or caring if I get fired or promoted. No bills, no fake responsibilities, just earning enough for food and shelter. I shouldn’t feel afraid anymore even if I sometimes had the thought I’m better off dying at the end of my journey because I imagined it would be a happy death with a feeling of being complete, without regrets. I love you all people and I hope you’ve been reborn continuing a new happy life, because I believe we all are now a step closer to see what truly matters in our lives, because we had the great chance to experience, to observe and to compare. We won’t be alone.

You know, I am not a backpacker, but I have lived in Japan for almost a year. I leave in three weeks, and I know exactly what emotions are incoming, which is why I searched for other people feeling the same thing..

Every night I am dreaming and being reminded of my soon departure date, I have changed as a person and have come to love myself in another area of the world, and I have many friends and a purpose that is simple but satisfying to me. After this I can never go back to working every day 9-5, and simply living..

I just finished reading this thread. Wow!
I’m sitting here at home in Sydney having spent 3 weeks in Europe. Some may say that’s not long. However, I wish I could fly off again tomorrow. Home feels the same and I know my stories will be shortlived because others do not share this passion. Life is just too short and material things do not stand up to real life experiences. For me, I always want to travel. I have realised that I have an advantage now that before, seemed a disadvantage. I’ve got my house, had my family, raised my 4 kids and want to spread my wings. Yet, my husband and I both have elderly parents. Ah, the dilemma. Solution: just take more holidays. I’d really like a long trip. I’m sitting here trying to work out my next adventure. Ive really enjoyed reading these posts.
Thank you

Wow! I can totally relate to this article. It is so true to my experiences. Everytime I travel I always feel abit depressed after I return home, because I love traveling, exploring, and being on the road. I am 28 years old, and sometimes I get abit depressed because we live in a society and a world where there is lots of pressure to conform to that “regular lifestyle”. My family wants me to get married, start a family, work a regular job, and I know at the end of the day, a big part of me wants that conventional life as well. But at the same time, I cannot live without adventure. I feel like I am happiest when I am of exploring some corner of the world, experiencing new things etc. It is just in my blood, I cant help it.

The post holiday blues or depression is an actual condition that most travellers have the burden of suffering. I’m now into my 40’s and have been travelling the world for the best part of 20 years and honestly, coming home after a short trip or a long stretch never gets easier. I have learnt however how to better deal or cope with this ‘first world affliction’ as I call it. I live in Australia, so really there’s no such thing as a short overseas trip, most destinations are at least a 5 hour plane trip – so short trips to fill the depression hole hasn’t been an option. Like most of you, and I agree with Matt, the best cure is to start planning your next adventure, which itself seems to miraculously cure the blues. Getting to what I’ve learnt, it’s true the world a giant place, with so many places to see, food to try and cultures to dip yourself into but I’m mindful now, not to wish my life away. What I mean is, by all means book your next trip, but be careful not to count down the days until you jump on that plane, life will pass you by. I try to live each day as if it were my last (cliche-yes) but true and appreciate whatever city you live in as some people actually travel there for a holiday and get depressed to leave. There will always be another holiday for us travellers, im glad I get the opportunity to suffer with you all.

Thank you for this article! Helps me understand a little of what I’ve been going through since coming home. I was only gone for 2 weeks to Romania, so it’s been hard for me to understand why the struggle upon return. Even reading an article like this helps me realize I am not alone!

Thanks for this article – it really makes a lot of sense to me! I’ve constantly travelled over the years, and often struggle returning, despite the fact I love my friends and family and miss them while I’m away. But sometimes it feels so boring coming home, doing the same old things. There’s something about being in new places that just makes you feel so alive!

After two months in Bali surfing and working, I’ve made a pitstop back in chilly Melbourne, and I have to say I’m struggling to adapt. It makes me wonder whether I’m just living in the wrong city, or if I’m a born nomad. Could be worse I realise!

Wow, this article brought a tear to my eye. I’ve been on the road since april and came to Australia on a working holiday visa. My money has got low though and struggling to find work here. The thought of coming home is making me nauseous.

Every time I return I have this empty feeling in the pit of my stomach. I won’t be able to get back on the road for another year or so if I go home, the thought of that makes me very upset.

I’ve been to Thailand 5 times and being there is like utopia for me. I will visit one more time before I return home but I will be very sad to leave. So many memories, great food, massages, amazing people. Not being able to return for a year or 2 will be horrible.

Matt you sir are speaking the truth. I have been back since March from Australia back to England and my insight has changed and i feel like i have grown out of where i grew up and where i am. The unkown and road less travelled is where i want to be

I just finished my last year of segment backpacking trips on the JMT. It’s so depressing to be done with the trail and back in the city now. I not only am missing the adventure but also the solitude/beauty/ healing power of nature. I’m planning my next outing but am really bummed to be done with this trail. Thanks for the post. I love travel in general and will always be a traveler. Another thing that helps I think is to host airbnb guests. That way you can meet like minded traveler types and live vicariously through their trips until your next one!

Maybe we should just start to not see home as our home but as another place that we’re staying for some time. At least that’s how I see it. So returning home for me is actually not depressing, it’s more an opportunity to see all my beloved friends and family again. What is it actually that stops us from behaving the same way at home as we do on the road? On the way we meet many locals telling us about their daily life, and we listen to it…interested. Why we cannot do the same thing at home? Why not just go to a bar and meet new people? I’m sure they would listen to our adventures with open and interested ears :). Coming home for me is not arriving at the finish line, but another stop on the road (even I have to stay and work for some time to safe money for the continuation ;)… Kisses and love

I left home in July 2005. I’ve lived in Canada (briefly – actually that was 2002), Germany (just 5 month), the Netherlands (still here, a year on in), the UK (ages) and Australia (a few years). My family have moved to Australia so my original “home” doesn’t feel like home to me at all anymore. I envy people who have somewhere that’s really home. I love travelling, and travel often more than once a month at the moment, but I would love to have a dog and to buy furniture and take it out of its boxes. (I’ve bought beautiful furniture and left it inside the boxes, for fear of leaving sometime soon). I also miss catching up with old friends. I don’t have any! And, my original home country just seems pointless without family (because, let’s be honest, for a lot of us that’s the real reason to move home). I’ve moved houses 17 times in the last 10 years. I’m hoping that I’ll still get to go on holidays, but that travel – well what is travel for me – will lead me to a good place back home soon and still allow me to go on holidays a couple times a year.

It’s been a little over a month since I’ve returned back home from a years’ travels around Asia. Although it’s good to be back, my mind is unable to comprehend what to do next, and I’m starting to get restless about it. I know I’m in a great situation (having no commitments) however I feel that I can’t communicate my thoughts properly. Luckily I have a blog to maintain (and plenty of other blogs to read like yours to keep me motivated!) and share my thougts so I have something to keep me occupied for a while!

what is interesting to me after travelling to 39 countries over 10 different trips…is that ill never stop. Some Americans are interested in where i have been, but most i think have never been there so dont get it. most are interested in the latest career, car, sports. all the things i chased but dont or never really cared about. My dad understood me, and my family probably does by now. i actually dont know if they do, but if i can keep travelling then my life was worth living. career, jobs, cars, houses…all the material stuff never really mattered to me. keep travelling if thats what calls to you. if it dont then thats cool too, i just happen to meet friends that gave me the travel bug.

Just sitting on my friend’s bed thinking about how as soon as the fall semester is over I am going to spend winter break in Central America. Then after spring semester I will be in Southeast Asia. Hard to stay present!

Thank you for the article, it’s great when travellers have something like this to relate to! I’m in my 3rd year of University and I went backpacking through Europe by myself for 2 months last summer. I’ve been back in Canada now for 5 months and I’m STILL feeling depressed. I feel like I don’t speak the same language as anyone around me, except those who have travelled. I feel so against “getting settled back in” or “getting used to being home” because I don’t think I’m myself here, and I don’t think my path has to be linear. I feel like the real me and my real life is on the road, and I’m going to have to find a way to make money while travelling in the future because this just isn’t working.

Great post, it’s true we aren’t always prepared for the experience of coming home after long periods away. I had my first experience this fall, I’d returned home to Canada after being away for a year in Italy. One day at work, after being at home for nearly two months, the sweetest old italian man came in to the store.. What a precious coincidence it was to meet (especially since I live in the countryside where foreigners are rare), but as I was recollecting the moment to my father that evening I couldn’t get the whole story out without breaking down. It turned out the move home affected me more than I had realized!

I feel not so weird all about this anymore. Thank you for this article, this night it was just what I needed. Cheers to all a little bit sad ones! Same here.

I spent 3 fantastic months in oposite side of planet from my home country. That was my first long term, far-away trip. In this moment only pictures makes me beleve that it was for real. It was like a fairytale and I had all the worlds freedom whith me. Now it\’s been third month while I\’m back and I still can\’t hold myself together. The only and the biggest motivation to get up, dress up and never give up is to travel around the world. Started to plan my next trip in the first week when I got back. Have never tought that it\’s gonna change me so a lot. I\’m thankful because now I can see more, feel more and finally have met myself more than before.

Probably the next 1.5 years till university graduating will be hard but it\’s worth it – this long \’stop\’ point. I work on my lists of trails and countries and things what I need in the way, on my skills, I read o lot and enjoing every moment in the nature. (even when I wait for a bus I stand in the sidewalks lawn, ha, thats probablly weird). I\’ts a whole new world for me to realise that I don\’t need all that stuff in my room, I need just a bagpack full of belief, friend to share with and feeling that all the rush have left behind to celebrate sunrises, sunsets, to be present. Love life. It\’s harder than I thought.

All the stories are boiling inside of me, my friends also doesn\’t care so much, that\’s why I decided to start work on a book because i feel that this journey will not end so soon.

Matt! I just came home to Boston a couple weeks ago, after living abroad for thirteen months. It’s the same kitchen, same bed, same family faces (who now have gotten back to their normal routine, after the first day of ecstatic hugs). It’s exorbitantly alarming. I feel isolated and bored. The worst is, I don’t feel fully myself. Like my soul was left behind, in pieces. I didn’t realize, until I read your article, that my terror was, “After all those experiences – backpacking, bed bugs, bonfires, books – am I really back where I started?” It’s given me a useless, futile feeling. What was the point of the traveling, if life has circled me back HERE? (Boston suburbia) And then I feel ungrateful to my beautiful friends and family, and that kills me, too. They’ve waited so long to see me, and I love them. Wanting to up and leave again makes me feel deeply guilty.
Anyway, I never considered that it could be post-traveling depression. I don’t know what to do with myself, but at least others have experienced the same. Thank you so much for speaking honestly about this! I absolutely love that you’re home-locus is Boston, as well!!

I read your article to get an idea what to expect after seven years in Korea, six weeks in Italy, and three months in China without setting foot back in the US during that time. Luckily, I will only be there for six weeks before going back to Korea and eventually China.

But going back as broke as I was leaving makes me feel I am taking that step back as many have mentioned, but I guess we paid for an experience that can never be taken away from us. I am especially curious what seven years of missed news and pop culture is going to be like when I return. Will it be that hard to transist, or will this feel as familiar as it did before? And if that person felt like he couldn’t drive a car after six months, will I drive off the road, having not driven in more than seven years? I wonder about these things.

It’s not like I went away for a really long time. It was only two weeks! But I’m 52 and I’ve never been further from Australia than New Zealand. I finally saved up some money and got the guts to go a bit further away. Thailand was glorious. The people are friendly and polite and can’t do enough for you. I’m sure part of that is having tourist dollars in your pocket but I don’t think that’s all it was. I loved the monks, the tuk-tuks, the markets, the beauty that shows itself everywhere, the Buddha statues, the little shrines to Buddha everywhere where people make offerings. Now I’m home and I have been feeling weird ever since. There’s lots of things I have to do but I don’t feel like doing them. Before I went overseas I was OK but the routine is broken and their culture has made me question a lot of things. I suppose because I waited this long before going overseas it’s more of a culture shock than if I had gone 30 years ago. Anyone else think the same?

I’m so appreciative and thankful for this article. I came back from a 2 month solo trip to Tokyo/Japan. It was the most amazing experience of my life. When my flight arrived back in Chicago, things started feeling a bit weird going through security and etc. Then once I got in my dad’s car and we hit the I-90 West Highway, that’s when it hit me. Everything looked so beautiful and yet so empty compared to Tokyo. I was so used to the tall skinny buildings EVERYWHERE in Tokyo, here on the highway there was so much open land it felt. The reverse culture shock continued and now about 3 days later after I have come back, that feeling of extreme depression has come up. I thought this is weird. I realized how bland this place is compared to Tokyo. How everything feels different now…how life as you left it before going on the trip, is still the same and hasn’t changed when you come back. Which in a weird way is depressing on it’s own. Pretty much everything you stated in this article is spot on. It’s like you read my mind. But after reading a lot of these comments and this article, it’s made me feel a bit better and I can’t thank you enough.

Well I was just reading some of these comments after searching for my daughter who is about to travel abroad in Asia. I am now 55 and spent a full year away travelling back in 84/85 and I can tell you all the comments made were so absolutely true to what I experienced on my return home. After all the years that have passed I still yearn for travelling and the wonderful experiences I had. It changes a person for the better opening up your eyes to the world and made me appreciate what I have at home. I have since travelled to many more places and as soon as I get to an airport I feel alive and a different person. Travellers seem to be more open to new experiences and can relate to the mundane left at home. We seek out new experiences to spark the fire inside. I remember getting together with friends when I returned from my year away to tell them stories about my adventures. I was so excited but forgot that all of them had just spent the year doing the regular routines. At one point I looked over as I was speaking and a friend of mine rolled his eyes at another couple and at that point realized they really didn’t care. I think the only way people will understand is by getting out there, out of your comfort zone and opening up to new people, culture and adventure. This will change your perspective on life. Soon my daughter will leave on here own journey and as a father I have those concerns of any parent as my parents had for me. But I know that what she will get out of this will be her’s forever. Thanks for your comment and article that would have been exactly what I would have wrote back in 85 if we had the web then. Most all long term travellers have the same feelings. Thank you Rob

Currently going through this right now! My heart is no longer at home. PTD is real and hurts like a mofo! The only thing that excites me is figuring out a way to get back to Brazil. Any tips or ideas on temporary work for 7 months ?

Around the world sounds like quite a trip. I’ve been to abroad (to different country in Europe) for semester of my studies. And, that’s true, as I came back there was some kind of “beeing lost and misunderstood” feeling, sadness and, kind of regret (of not beeing away anymore). But it did passed and now, 4 years later I do not even think about traveling. I would not think about it at this moment, if I have not bumped onto the link to this site on FB, as shared by my friend. Now I have like… different goals, and understanding that I can look for happiness in places another than “abroad” or “travel”. A few moths after coming back from student exchange, I realized, I probably can be equally happy here or wherever. I still believe this, and… my willing to explore/travel has dropped almost to zero. It just… doesn’t matter anymore, and I don’t feel any bad about this. In our home cities/countries – we can meet new people, and do new things as well. I hope to travel a bit again, but it never again seem to be… kind of… matter of life-and-death. Or total fullfillment, happiness-and-total misery. It seems I may do it in the future (if I be willing to), but I may not as well. I most certainly do not must to. And I still be totally fine.

greetings from Poland

PS. half year after coming back from that students exchange I did a bit of hitchiking to the region at the border of my country. I did it without deciding whether or when I am coming back home. And it was a bit under the “Into the wild” movie influence:) I had a lot of fun during that trip. But after a week it came to my mind, that it’s pointless to be somewhere here, while people I like, and I’d like to spend time with (meaning mostly: friends), are home. I could’ve stay longer. But I didn’t want to, so I did came back shortly after i had had this thought. I’m very glad I had this adventurous trip. And I’m glad I came back as well.

My boyfriend has just returned from 4 months of studying abroad. Since I never had that experience, I found it hard to understand his feelings about being back. So first of all I would like to thank you for this blog, it gave an insight into his mind. Secondly, I was wondering if you have any advice for me. It’s been really difficult and he feels like we’ve drifted apart (he has even met someone else abroad). We had a extremely good relationship before he left, but the time abroad has left its marks on both of us. How would you want your significant other to behave/react to your return and have you had similar experiences?

Hi! I just wanna say that I really liked this article because it’s exactly how I’ve been feeling since I returned 1 month ago from an amazing time living in Shanghai, and I’m glad to know I’m not the only one since my parents really don’t understand why I’m sad.

I’ve often wondered what it’s like for star athletes when they retire or when Celebrities are no longer in the limelight. I think this is what we get a glimpse of when we return from a big trip. The final scene of ‘Hurt Locker’ is a brilliant touchstone to this. There’s just less stimulation in the mundane routines of life compared to when you’re backpacking. I’m sure its the same for soldiers deployed and bands on tour. Traveling is just an accessible way to get that hit.
Even at home there are plenty of people from the other side of the world who consider our mundane surroundings exotic. Though I don’t always succeed, I try to view what’s around me with awe. It takes effort finding like-minded people who can help create that spirit we get when we’re abroad but it can be done.

It took my wife and I a while to realise that this happens to so many other travellers. We couldn’t revert back to “real life” and exactly like you said no one seems to care about the adventures you’ve been on since they’ve been doing the same crap since before you left. Luckily, it is something us travellers can all relate to and it is a comfort to know we are not alone in this feeling. It is just disappointing if you return to your home town to catch up a lot of people don’t care and don’t ask questions. It’s all about the kids they’ve had and how little Timmy is so funny when the cat runs around. We’ve made sure not to pretentious jerks as many travellers can be but this made no difference. To us it seems almost like they’re angry at you for choosing the life of travel while they’re stuck in their 9-5 shit. Having said all this, there are many friends and family who are genuinely interested in what you’ve done and it’s cool to answer questions they have about the places we go to.

I’ve never commented before on a public forum but I feel the need to thank you for this magnificent encapsulation of what I, alongside of many others clearly, are feeling (despite the fact that you probably won’t see this since it was written a while ago). I was unable to sleep out of the fear of the fact that thinking back to a few of the places I’ve travelled to/lived in this past year, they really feel like home in my mind and I worry that I’ll never feel at home in one place but this article helps me at least not feel alone in it. Granted, I’m still worried about how to solve this feeling since it’s impossible to continuously travel but I’m sure I’ll grow to learn. Thank you.

Due to parental illness I had to return to the place of my birth and teenage years after being away in various parts of the UK for 20 odd years…..the first time I walked into my old local pub was like seeing my past and future in a nano second……truly scary. The same people in the same place at the bar talking about the same dull shit they were when they were 19. I returned 10 years a go……..and planning my long term escape route now. I still don’t fit in…and grew up here and know a lot of people but have never grasped or understand ‘normal’ life.

Oh, and as an aside, the reason your friends don’t care about your holiday isn’t jealousy. It’s because they’re bored of listening to the same old story about that time you snuck through the Paris catacombs or the castle you climbed in Ireland.

To me, the best part of travel is having the experiences and memories to myself. I don’t tell people about it unless they ask specifically, and even then I keep it short.

“your friends probably did change, but you were too busy telling everyone about your AMAZING HOLIDAY to actually notice”

I’ve found the opposite to be true. After coming home from a long adventure, I want to keep the stories to myself. Why would anyone else ever understand my experience so why share it?

More so, it becomes annoying to keep talking about the places you’ve been when you are so saddened by not being there now.

We are not talking about a simple holiday to Europe, sitting on the beach and drinking cocktails at the resorts. This is about becoming engulfed into another culture, making new friends, maybe new family. Then having that culture, friends, family all ripped out of you during a single plane ticket home.

I am so glad I googled this and found this post and all the comments. I’ve been walking around like a disassociated ghost for 4 weeks since I’ve been home, wondering if/when the fog will lift. I still don’t know exactly what I’m going to do about it, but I finally feel a little better, so thanks for that. 🙂

As for the few angry and disgusted commenters, if you don’t get it you don’t get it, and I feel sorry for you more than anything. Your comments helped me too, because as shitty as I feel right now, I have no regrets over the choices and experiences that brought me here. I am grateful that my mind has exploded open and I didn’t before but now I DO feel superior to your close-minded bitterness! So glad I’m not you. Hahahhahaha jajajajaja!!!

I have gone on trips since I was 8 or 9 and am now 55 and to this day it is a shock to come home, even though I live in a very pleasant place (LA) with lots to do. Recently returned from a long road trip around the US and find myself thinking about my trip day and night and not liking much around me. I think post vacation blues are inevitable, especially for sensitive people. It doesn’t help to move to an exotic land, because eventually that place will be home and not as interesting as having an adventure. For a lot of us travel and being on the go are like “drugs”–re-entry is hard. Good article!

Thanks for everyone’s comments and sharing your feelings. It’s very helpful. I’m going through this emotions right now after travelling in Asia and Europe for eight months, just came back a few days ago. Everything looks the same. Haha. I’ve made a decision – I’m moving on in a weeks time to Brisbane. I’m excited!

I can relate 100% to this. I have just returned to the UK after 14 months doing a solo around the world trip and I didn’t want to come back!! It is like a never left, like no time has passed and nothing has changed. I feel this weird anxiety going to the shops and even watching TV, I’m kind of having an allergic reaction to all things British and I feel like I am wearing clothes that no longer fit me.

How did everyone cope? I feel so out of place and being back on the job hunt and looking for a flat to live seems like a massive step backwards, like I am stepping back into someone else’s life. I feel like I am making some massive mistake, this is not the like I want but I can’t afford to keep travelling and I do somewhat miss the security of having a base.

Please tell me this gets easier!! I spent the last few months in Canada and want to move there so bad!! I felt like I was home and was dreading moving back to the UK. None of my friends understand, they just think once I am back at work and back to normal life I will ‘settle down’.

I found this article 4 months ago when my wife and I decided to settle in Australia bringing to an end 4 years of travelling the globe. We were always intending to figure out where we wanted to live in the longer term and Sydney won. I had assumed this would be an exciting transition but in truth I, like so many others in this comment thread, am having a hard time adjusting.

Before we started the travelling I often had the ‘there must be more to life than this feeling’ and I’m surprised to find it’s back. I now know I live in a world full of incredible opportunity and adventure and having a home appears dull by comparison. I know this is all about perception and hope that at some point soon the perception changes and I start to really enjoy living here. It’s often said that travellers are often running away from something and for me that’s the mundane. Life currently feels a tad mundane by comparison to hiking the Himalayas or exploring Patagonia not to mention riding horses in Mexico and Idaho.

I’m assuming anyone reading this far down this thread is doing so because they’re feeling the same stuff. Coming back is a challenge, but it is NOT an adventure 😉 My goal now is to build a life that supports 2 months a year of living somewhere else I want to explore. We’re currently in winter here and I’m hoping that spring will shift some of my inertia.

Thank you everyone that took the time to be honest and share on this thread. I found it really helpful. I hope you feel better soon. Matt your journeys inspired some of ours.

I’m sorry to disagree, but I find this post a bit naive and/or superficial… It is not because your friends have the same jobs and go out in the same bars that they have not changed! Actually, this appears to me as a very naive common point (and I am a passionate traveller): visiting places and meeting new people can be profound experiences, but inner life transformations can happen in so many ways! Luckily, (real) life is not only about visiting new places… If your inner life is rich, you don’t need that to live fully.

Hello Matt, I relate to everything you say. This is my third long term trip and this has been the hardest return. I am bored and restless and ready to hit the road again. I do need to stay put for now and save money but come September 2017, I am off again but this trip is all goes well I will be on the road until I can no longer travel. I remember my recent trip thinking that I Did not want to return home. I have changed in so many ways.

Perfectly explained. When I studied abroad, came home after living abroad, traveling abroad, and sailing abroad I could not and still cannot make a connection with people from home. I will always love them and be there for them but I have changed. The world has become my classroom and I am continously learning.

Thanks Matt! I was trying to work out whether I was just being soft. But you have described word for word exactly what it’s like.
Especially the no one else getting it. I mostly want to make sure, I don’t return to being the same. Travelling taught me too much to lose it all.

your post hit the spot! this is what i’ve been feeling for the past two days! i’m about to leave a beautiful country after a week here, and now i’m really feeling the blues.

the thing though is it’s very unique. i don’t feel the same in every country i visited. This perhaps is the first time that i know i’m getting all depressed. did you ever associated the feeling with something more than the longing to be someplace else? i have a great and loving family and best friends and boyfriend back home that are all supportive and happy for me when i travel, and a week away from them should make me feel really excited, but now i’m all depressed! and it just makes me feel worse!

I just returned from a 2 weeks trip to Germany. I am so depressed and I am trying to find something that can help me to cop with this. Reason is that I met a family that treated me like a family member as is they have known me for all my life. I have cried and can’t take away the constant flashes of moments lived. I just would like to change things and still living that life-change experience but past is just that. My only hope is the future and the good life can grant me the opportunity of more visits to Germany. I’am a believer in God and pray to him to pass this hard time in my life

Thank you for this post, I recently returned from my first big solo trip abroad and have been having such a hard time adjusting back to reality, I was sitting on the bus on my way to work this morning holding back tears, feeling so awful and thinking to myself “what is wrong with me, why do i feel so depressed lately?” I really felt so lost as like I hit rock bottom … but for no reason really. Anyways, I had never heard of post travel depression and it makes me a feel so much better to know that it is totally normal! 🙂

I went on a 7.5 month RTW trip and wish I never went. I lost my 6 figure career and had a mental break on my trip – heard voices, had visualizations of suicide, gore and death.

Since I’ve returned I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital, placed on antipsychotic medications and had panic attacks. This layered with the re-entry makes me feel insane and depressed. I had a beautiful, vibrant life before all of this. I was the life of the party with a huge heart. So passionate. Adventurous. Now it feels like I’ve lost my heart, soul and sanity. Blogs like this ruined my life. Long term travel ruined my beautiful, beautiful life and now my chief concern is how to get through this life without commiting suicide. This coming from a guy who used to believe everyday was beautiful and live life to the fullest. Dont believe the bloggers they just want to generate money. Long term travel is too risky unless youre very young and dont care about your career. The beauty of life is found in small moments. I didnt realize this until it was too late and I had lost everything

Gosh, this piece really resonated with me. I felt profound sense of sadness after leaving Central America two days ago, where I had such an amazing time. I was telling a family member about the awesomeness of it all, and inadvertently referred to Puerto Viejo, Costa Rica as home. Home. The irony is, I’ve always been a restless soul and never quite felt at home anywhere. The slip up surprised me.

To be honest, I miss everything about it, including people whom I’m scared I’ll never see again. I’m a ball of emotion because I know something has fundamentally changed inside of me. I can’t live as I had prior to travelling. I loved feeling small in a sprawling world, where I wasn’t the center of the universe and had to take life as it came. Pura Vida!

I can only hope that I meet someone as eager to traipse the world as I, so that we can always have a slice of home, wherever we may be. This way I can have a sense of permenance amidst the transience of travel and coming or going won’t hurt as much.

Is encouraging to know I’m not alone in this. I want to thank you all!
I feel like in a love breakup: Looking at old pictures, imagining “what if…”, wishing to be there again every single day, remembering only GOOD things, jealous of the people that’ is there with my “ex” country…
Being abroad for a year changed me completely and being at home now feels very awkward… like moving back in time. It feels like I felt asleep on my bed, had the most wonderful dream for a year and woke up in the same place….
But the truth is that the experiences and memories will stay inside me forever, the wonderful people I met was the right people at THAT moment in time… Now I have to let go the past and look forward… Always forward… And find a new “lover”, in this case, a new place to feel at home.

I can completely relate to this post, just came back from a one year trip and now am back home but it doesn’t feel like home anymore cos everything around me pisses me off, i can’t control the feeling, it’s like I’m back to square one and it doesn’t feel good even a tiny bit. I love my family and i missed them but all i think about now is finding an opportunity to just move and change my environment again.