Tyre Vandal Ordered to Knit Jumpers

Acts of random vandalism are normally attributed to gangs of teenage hoodies, but an 89 year-old woman in Kaiserslautern, Germany, has shown that this is not the exclusive domain of the young. The ageing vandal has been convicted of slashing over 50 tyres in an unexplainable frenzy of activity in the town of Rockenhausen, in April.

The pensioner has escaped a prison sentence and will make amends by knitting jumpers for the residents of a retirement home. Helmet Bleh, the prosecuting attorney said, “We’ll drop the case if she knits a few pullovers. We can’t send her to prison, and she doesn’t have the money to pay a fine”. Social workers are satisfied that this particular “Hell’s Granny” will not re-offend as she has now been placed in a retirement home. It is to be hoped that she won’t find a different use for her knitting needles.