The perils of an incredible backyard

The family wants a pool and I want a boat. Likely neither will happen. Besides, the neighbors have a pool. They simply need to vacation more so we can pool-watch/dog-sit. Which prompts a Groucho Marx line: Q. “What’s a pool? A. God’s final warning before you buy a boat.” I suppose you could reverse the story and it would equally fit.

BUYER BEWARE

Pools, boats and incredible backyard living spaces have their share of unexpected byproducts. Who knew you had so many friends until the jazzed patio, shady pergola and inspiring landscape were installed? The entertaining budget is completely out of whack now. And the ice maker simply can’t produce enough for roaming football players or the cast of Hairspray to stop in and consume. Pizza on speed-dial is a lifesaver, and a bowl of fruit seems to evaporate.

A joyful Zionsville client simply couldn’t wait until the modified deck was complete before she and the kids disappeared to it. Dad seemed a little irritated that he wasn’t included. Prematurely escaping to incomplete patios is a national concern. Great patios, decks, porches and spaces will cause you to mysteriously disappear.

Fun/costly things seem to just happen while enjoying your patio, as I was recently reminded when planning an upcoming “date night.” I curiously wondered if Sting was playing close by. A few Apple keystrokes found us at a historic B&B in St. Louis a week later. Nice date!

WHAT TO EXPECT

Expect more lively family dinner conversations and morning coffees on the patio. Expect less TV and more books. Expect imaginative plans to escape the office early. Expect lots of grilling, picnics, wine, relaxing. Expect great times and lots of laughing.

It’s comforting to know, as we appreciate our freedoms this July Fourth, that proud Americans regularly carry dreams to reality.