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I'm only 13 and I have more problems than I can handle... I don't talk to my parents about it and I don't have any one that I can got to, I don't trust a lot of people.. So please help me. I have thoughts of killing myself and I take pills and drink I feel like there's no other way to cope with my...

I took prescribed zolpidem (20 mg) and escitalopram (20 mg) before going to bed.
I woke up an hour later feeling sick. I checked the meds' bottles and found 9 pills (180 mg) of escitalopram missing.
I may have taken them under the hypnotic effect of zolpedim, or just thrown them away. I don't...