Defending its crack-down on legal medical marijuana dealers, the DEA has disingenuously declared that pot is an ineffective treatment for pain. But over at the FDA, the first painkiller made from cannabis is sailing toward approval.

Obama seems to want to have it both ways: Weed has medical benefits, but then again it doesn’t; it’s as dangerous as heroin, but safe enough to give to sick patients in medical experiments. Whose interests are being served here, and who’s getting the shaft?

It’s hard to deny claims by critics that the president has largely given the shaft to advocates of medical marijuana. Hitting the re-election trail this week, Obama had to duck a question about his record on pot-for-pain at a Minnesota town hall meeting, leaving unresolved—after more than two and a half years—his campaign promise to respect the right of patients to make decisions about their own care. Instead his administration has pursued a confused two-pronged policy: allowing Big Pharma unimpeded license to pursue the profitable medical marijuana market, while threatening thousands of patients using state-licensed cannabis with federal intervention and even arrest.

Critics liken Obama’s cannabis conundrum to the way he dealt with the financial crisis—bailing out Wall Street while leaving millions of homes on Main Street to fall into foreclosure. If this sounds like too harsh a condemnation of a president that rabid Republicans have done nothing but hate on, try making sense of recent developments in federal medical-marijuana policy.

Back in March, the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) exercised its emergency authority to outlaw the use of five “fake” marijuana products like Spice and K2. “These products consist of plant materials that have been coated with research chemicals that claim to mimic THC, the active ingredient in marijuana, and are sold at a variety of retail outlets, in head shops and over the Internet,” the DEA said in a prepared statement.

Breaking news out of Australia, specifically Joondalup, reports that five people were hospitalized after inhaling a new form of Kronic, the most popular synthetic marijuana available (or not available–depending on the country). We’ve warned you about this before, but now I have to tell you again with more of an emphasis on just how idiotic these synthetic compounds are. STOP SMOKING IT! There’s more chastising to come after the break because if five random people in Australia had been HMJ readers or had friends that read it, they would have avoided a miserable trip to the hospital.

If you’re unfamiliar with my obvious disdain for these cheap (AND LEGAL!) offshoots of our beloved marijuana, then you can read these posts. Or read this, and bang your head against the wall for being a sycophantic tool vulnerable to the whims and fancies of the most diabolical of species: the ad-copy writer:

The Auckland-based manufacturing company believed to be importing the product into Australia describes the product on its website as ‘the height of innovation’ and that the new Kronic was developed ‘in response to demand.’

‘Containing no banned substances, the latest in our line of premium home-grown smoking blends will deliver you a smooth, haze-filled blaze,’ it reads.

Which is utter horseshit. The same type of horseshit that all manufacturers of synthetic products espouse so you’ll buy their product and they can make money off your lemmings-based consumerism. Conspicuous idiocy more than showing off the hip, new drug available. FourLoko is one thing, but this shit just isn’t right.

If you’re smoking this hooey because real marijuana is illegal, then you need to start thinking a little bit about synthetic vs. organic. Marijuana buds come from the ground. If you’re religious, you could say God created marijuana. If you’re a vegan or a tree-hugger, you could say Mother Nature created herb. If you’re a secular anarchist, you could say fuck “the man” and smoke REAL marijuana to do just that (it’s still prohibited on a federal level). Regardless, don’t mess with the crappy man-made shit. Man made war, and strife and all the shit. We’ve fucked our planet up, but our abused world still grows delicious herb without our prodding. Man-made idrugs always lose.

Smoke marijuana instead of its followers. No one is going to the hospital for that. If you get sick or die from synthetic marijuana you’ve lost all my sympathy. I’ve warned you enough. Now call all your buddies in Australia and tell them the same.

Last week a 76 year old Del Rio resident was arrested after she shot at the cops for taking her neighbors buds. Zeanne Speyrer, of 1225 Cougar Trail, was charged with six counts of reckless endangerment after she shot at two agents with the Governor’s Marijuana Eradication Task Force.

“We could hear the rounds pass by and hit,” Fontes said.

Here’s what the report states happened next:

“Why do I have to get on the ground,” the senior asked.

“You shot at us,” two officers responded.

“Damn Right I shot at you,” she replied.

This is exactly the type of neighbor everybody needs. She stood up for what was obviously right, and that was leaving the plants exactly where they belong, everywhere in the ground. Thanks Mrs. Speyrer!

My apologies for getting this little nugget out to you guys late but you know how it is when you’re trying to pay attention and…well, you know how it is. Nevertheless, guess what I’ve got!?!

The Federal government’s annual report highlighting substance abuse. Now that may not sound interesting when I put it like that but if you look through the 300+ pages like Paul Armentano of NORML did right here. You’ll find even more myth busting information by comparing the data but in the meantime, here’s the breakdown.

Four More Bullsh*t Mary Jane Myths BUSTED!!!

Myth: Marijuana use is prevalent in low income and urban areas thereby justifying the “War on Drug” and aggressive treatment and surveillance of poorer (read: Black and Latino) neighborhoods.

…..combating numerous drug warrior myths and stereotypes (such as the notion that high rates of illicit drug use — yes, the New England states lead in this broader category too — are typically relegated to poorer, urban, more racially diverse areas).

Myth: Marijuana use is neither determined nor undermined by state drug laws. People use marijuana if and when they choose to and not because states make marijuana possession laws harder.

…..it should be noted that despite the prevalence of medical marijuana states in these rankings, the authors of the report acknowledge that there is no evidence that the implementation of medi-pot laws is increasing the use of cannabis or other illicit drugs.

They also call into question the notion that marijuana use among the general population is in any way influenced by the legal status of marijuana.

Myth: The Northeast loves them some Mary Jane. Nearly every state in the region made it’s way into the top spots for marijuana use.

The totals in the category ‘marijuana use in the past year among persons age 18 to 25‘ is even more New England-centric, with every northeast state (Connecticut, Massachusetts, Maine, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, and Vermont) all included in the top percentile (along with Alaska, Colorado, New York, and Oregon). In the category, ‘marijuana use in the past month among persons age 26 or older‘ Massachusetts, Maine, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, and Vermont top the list (along with Alaska, Colorado, Hawaii, and Oregon).

So, according this report by the United States government marijuana use is not the big bad monster that they make it out to be. With social concerns and morals aside, I wonder if a level-headed person would read this and ask themselves what the implication of this data means.

At the very least, our government has inflated the seriousness of marijuana’s affects on society. The decision to do so may have caused a focus of limited state resources on treating a problem that may not have been a priority compared to other social issues.

At the very worst, this data shows a how an entire class of people (poor/brown) have been manufactured into a criminal class justifying the pursuit, expense and time required by the state to prosecute them when their marijuana use maybe less prevalent than in other (upper-class/white) areas. So if the real intent of the state is to pursue those that use illicit drugs the their polices effort to lock up offenders would correlate with drug use. This one theory begs the question of the states willingness to exploit their own criminal justice system to violate the rights of citizens to fund private industries that benefit from such discretion, specifically, the courts, the prisons and the legal industry.

Don’t be intimidated by false marijuana myths, educate yourself and stop the stupid with real data made by the same people that we’re fighting. Shout out to Norml for doing the hard part, now all you have to do is repeat it. Almost like cheating on a test but not. Until next time, people

BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — The next battles are already starting over the new county rules on medical marijuana. Supporters said they have petitions ready to challenge the bans on storefront dispensaries and large outdoor grows.

Meanwhile, the Kern County Sheriff’s department said growers with more than the new 12-plant limit can turn that in, with no fear of prosecution.

Kern County Supervisors passed the new ordinances on Tuesday, and Thursday a spokesman said medical marijuana supporters hope to start gathering petition signatures on Friday.

Beresh said the fight may cost up to $60,000, but the funds are there. He said organizations like his are putting in money, as well as local dispensaries and patients. He said they also plan to file a lawsuit Friday against the ban on collectives, and on Friday they’ll file for a temporary restraining order trying to stop the new ban on outdoor grows of more than 12 plants.

That ban is already in effect, because it was passed as a “urgency ordinance.” Supervisors said they took that immediate action, convinced by law enforcement that most marijuana crops are nearly ready for harvest, and that the large pot gardens are a target for violence.

At Tuesday’s hearing, Kern County Sheriff Donny Youngblood showed the board photos of a very large grow raided this week, which included 17 booby traps, according to officers.

The sheriff’s department announcement on taking in plants said anyone can call 391-7580 for more information. “Arrangements will be made to accept their excess plants for destruction and/or to answer any questions regarding compliance issues,” the statement read.

Eyewitness News had questions about how long that offer will be available, and what penalties growers would face later. But no one was available to answer questions on Thursday afternoon.

Meanwhile, Beresh said the groups supporting medical marijuana will circulate petitions asking voters to sign for a simple referendum on both new county rules, basically whether they don’t want the new ordinances.

The spokesman said if voters approve that, the groups then want to work with county leaders. They hope a task force of appointed community members could then come up with alternatives to the ban. Beresh said many medical marijuana collectives and patients think there should be changes to the current situation.

“We need to regulate it, we need to come down with some rules,” Beresh said.

When asked for examples of better rules, he said, “We need to know where they’re going to be allowed. We don’t want to be on top of each other, we don’t want to be close to schools, we want to do it the right way.”

Beresh said they also want a task force to come up with different rules on medical marijuana grows.

But, getting the new county rules tossed out requires the groups to get enough signatures on the petitions. If that happens, the just-passed county ordinance to shut down the dispensaries would be automatically suspended, according to Kern County chief elections clerk Karen Rhea. She said the groups must get 17,350 signatures in 30 days.

“September 8 is the last day for the protest to be filed with the Board,” Rhea told Eyewitness News. If the groups get enough signatures, Rhea said the ordinance is set back to the supervisors for consideration. The board can repeal the ordinance or put the question to the voters.

Beresh said if it goes to the voters, the board must set an election within 88 days. But Rhea said that’s not correct. An election has to be held “not less than 88 days” later.

“Should the protest be sufficient and the board decides to put it to a vote, the election may either be called as a special election to be consolidated with the next regularly scheduled county election,” Rhea said.

Can they get enough signatures in 30 days? Beresh is convinced the supporter groups can do it.

“This is not going to be a problem. In fact, I feel this is going to be about the easiest county,” he said. “I’ve talked to many people throughout town, and I don’t find many people that are against it.”