"My location is bad. I'm able to get ahead of guys sometimes and I'm not able
to put them away with the slider that I've been used to in the past. ...
Sometimes, when I am [executing my pitches], they are doing a good job,
especially lefties. I'm not really fooling any lefties right now."

If you
were to compile a Big Board-style list of the scariest things a closer can
possibly say, "I'm not fooling lefties right now" would rank pretty high. For
me, that quote would be slotted just after "I can't feel my fingers" and just
before "I was talking to Rob Dibble the other day..."

Ideally, a team's
closer should be someone whose usage isn't dictated by the handedness of
opposing hitters. Lidge has been solid enough against lefties over the course of
his career (.243/.343/.373), but they've owned him this year. Mocked him.
Humiliated him. Destroyed him. Of the 12 lefties he's faced thus far, nine have
reached base (or they've cleared the bases). Left-handed hitters have gone 4-for-7 against
Lidge and they've drawn five walks. So when the man says he's not fooling
lefties, he's dead-on accurate.

Still, for now, Lidge retains his
"co-closer" status in Washington alongside Henry Rodriguez, a 25-year-old
flamethrower who hasn't experienced much trouble getting anyone out. Rodriguez
has yet to allow an earned run this year, he's converted all four of his save
opportunities, and he's struck out nine batters over 7.1 innings. The only
blemishes on his year-to-date record are the six walks, but free passes are less
of an issue when you don't allow any hits. Rodriguez has yielded only one
base-hit in his eight appearances for the Nationals this season, a Daniel Murphy
single. The walk-rate is a problem, no doubt — it was lousy last year,
too (6.17 BB/9) — but his triple-digit fastball and Nintendo slider nonetheless give him the look of an elite
reliever.

Of course it figures that the one place in Washington we'd
find cooperation is the place where it's needed least, in the Nats' bullpen.
Lidge has been entirely hittable, Rodriguez not hittable at all. And still they
share a job, which means the Washington 'pen ranks last in this week's
index...

Daniel Bard's scheduled start on Sunday was rained out, so he'll spend a few days pitching out of the Boston bullpen, returning to last year's role. He recorded a pair of eighth inning outs on Monday, earning a win over the Twins. Bard wasn't exactly lights-out — he was greeted by a line-drive out, then later issued an IBB — but he didn't allow a run. That's unusual for a Red Sox reliever this season. The fact that a temporary visitor to the Boston 'pen immediately takes over a critical set-up position tells you pretty much everything you need to know about this sketchy relief corps. It's not unthinkable that Bard would be reassigned to the late innings, though he clearly prefers to remain in the rotation.

Jon Rauch still hasn't allowed a run over his 8.1 innings for the Mets this season. Meanwhile, closer Frank Francisco has given up six earned over his last three appearances. New York manager Terry Collins expressed confidence in Francisco after the reliever's latest mess, telling reporters, "I know Frankie is going to be fine." Of course the rest of us know that Francisco has often been the opposite of fine. Rauch is the appropriate handcuff.

Kansas City's Greg Holland has hit the 15-day DL due to a "left rib stress reaction," leaving Aaron Crow as the primary set-up man ahead of Jonathan Broxton. Crow has allowed just one hit and two free passes over his last 7.0 innings, striking out five. Broxton has been a roller coaster this season, to no one's surprise. Crow has already proven himself to be the sort of reliever who can assist fantasy owners, even in a non-closing role. Consider making the preemptive add.

Speaking of ninth inning roller coasters, Francisco Cordero converted saves in back-to-back games on Sunday and Monday, filling in for the injured Sergio Santos (shoulder). While Santos rests his shoulder for 10-14 days, Cordero has unchallenged possession of the ninth. He's only pitched one clean inning so far this season and his WHIP is 1.62, but saves are saves. We should note that Toronto left-hander Luis Perez has been outstanding in relief so far, allowing just four hits over 11.1 innings, striking out 12. Perez picked up a hold in his last appearance and a win the time before.

Juan Cruz saved a pair of games for the Bucs last week, while closer Joel Hanrahan was inconvenienced by a hamstring issue. Cruz has still not been scored upon over seven appearances this season, although he always seems to give up a hit or two.

On Sunday, Aroldis Chapman finally issued his first walks of the 2012 season (to the Cubs, which is no easy feat). Chapman still hasn't allowed a run, earned or unearned, and he's given up just three hits over 10.1 innings, striking out 18. Repeat: 18 Ks. He's still available in 26 percent of Yahoo! leagues. Make the move, public league gamers.

Atlanta relief ace Jonny Venters has been nearly as dominant as Chapman thus far, totaling 12 Ks in just 6.2 innings. In Venters' last appearance, he mowed down the top of the Arizona batting order in the eighth inning on Saturday, striking out the side. Despite the dominance, Jonny is unowned in 47 percent of Yahoo! leagues.