Goodbye and Good Riddance

This year's Queen's Award for Bastardry has been awarded to Chiseler and Rogue Ltd, a small company based in Clifton-under-Duress, Hertfordshire. The company, whose main business is using local government funding to buy new carpet for its offices, was nominated by former employee Christian Pyle.

Mr Pyle was dismissed for asking a lot of 'silly stupid questions' about where all this public money was going, and was stunned to receive a parting shot from the company in the form of a leaving card which was sent to him with insufficient postage.

"As far as dick moves go, this was a doozy," said Mr Pyle. "Not content with lying, cheating, robbing me of my pension and generally treating me with absolute contempt throughout my entire time at the company, they then make me pay the excess postage on my own leaving card. The bastards are still robbing me after I've gone. You've got to admire that kind of dedication."