One of the first hipster art forms, this is built by stacking simple phrases, and can be performed by one person. This makes it perfect for playing that Tuesday gig you managed to pull at Arlene’s Grocery. Sorry, man - I don't have any cloves. This is my last one.

Hey, yo - welcome to the sic'est grammar podcast on the planet, where your future will have been perfectly continuous. I can't really think up much more in the realm of grammar jokes without going to the "dangling participle". And that's not happening.

A little aggressive, a little chill, a little groovy, a little cool. Not entirely appropriate for all occasions, but in the right context - it may be just what you need! This is the "Goth 7th-Grader" of the music world. The instrument with the sharp chord hits is the mighty Mellotron, which is a pre-sampler sort of analog keyboard attached to a bunch of tape players. I cheated. This one is digital.

Funky drum machines? Yes, please! Also a killer bass line. This is both big and fun... kind of like the Paul Bunyan Experience... if Paul Bunyan were hip. Unlike most of my tunes, this one has an actual ending! Uncompressed download comes with all the parts to make your own mixes - should this one be insufficient.

Deep grooving crazy big percussion. Super danceable! High energy, without every getting the way. Useful for tech videos, badass characters, or general listenings! The download comes with all the parts separated out as well as a bonus track at 165 beats per minute (slightly slower and even deeper grooving!).

Okay, it is a 12 bar blues, but you got to stick around at least until the horns! I couldn't start with the horns as that would be a frightening level of happy. The uncompressed download also comes with a perfectly loopable track for those who don't want the party to end. You can download this in uncompressed format here. Download comes with individual tracks so you can make your own mixes.

Get down with the 'get down'! A very clean sort of funk thing. Appropriate for a widevariety of exciting sorts of things, including funky dance parties, car washing (dance parties), barbecuing (dance parties), and colonoscopy (dance parties). You can download the uncompressed version here!

A little funky; a little disco; this one will keep you grooving on hold for many hours on a loop! Your Call is very important to us! Also excellent for elevators or anywhere light music can be heard. You can download this in uncompressed format here! Download comes with individual tracks so you can make your own mixes.

The bass guitar plays a familiar rolling Blues riff, while accompanied by organ, acoustic guitar, and drums. A toe-tapping beat plays throughout, and can be used as the background music for a fast-paced game or scene, or as the intro to a scene full of bustling people.

Like a night out on the Vegas strip, Aces High makes your hips swagger with a playful bass line and staccato electric guitar. An organ plays the main theme, but when the song changes to a minor key, a clavichord plucks out the central melody, before returning to the slippery organ refrain.