In an election that looks like it will be decided on the budget today’s orders from Brussels can’t do Labour much good. The European Parliament are telling Gordon to curb his spending.

Britain has no money at the moment and the national debt is currently £178 billion, what Britain does have in abundance is undecided voters and Euro-sceptics.

The Tories are acting like the smarmy teacher’s pet saying they agree with the call and claim their budget would rely less on borrowing and more on cuts. Tories and Europe agree on something? Wow. Maybe they want to get the defector Edward McMillan-Scott back?

“What has to be done now is to get this debt rapidly under control and get the bulk of the structural deficit, get rid of it during the next parliament and I also think one needs to start now,” said Conservative Business Spokesman Ken Clarke.

So do those Tories like David “Just call me Dave” Cameron who are so vocal in their dislike on Europe follow the leader in a neck snapping U-turn and a show of hands saying “Yes Brussels look at us, we’ll do as you ask” or do they remain as sceptic as ever and get Cameron to return to the anti-Europe grass roots level?

What of the usually more pro-Europe Labour voters? Their party and its leader are getting a direct telling off from Europe. They won’t feel too pleased, they would be perfectly within their rights to compare Britain to Euro-zone countries such as Ireland and Greece who are in real financial peril and tell Brussels to clean up their owm house before they tell us what to do.

My desire to vote Labour has been brought into question recently. The appeal of their leader, our Prime Minister, was his seriousness. Over on the right David Cameron was happy to ham it up for the papers with novelties such as “Web-Cameron” while failing to come up with any policies. One was a serious politician; the other belonged on Britain’s Got Talent.

That was until the evening of Valentine’s Day when, the most obnoxious man on the planet, Piers Morgan, managed to get an exclusive, hour long interview with Gordon Brown.

We were treated to a carefully orchestrated PR attempt to make Gordon look human. He openly wept when discussing the tragic death of his daughter. A highly private politician emoting about a highly private topic on national television didn’t sit well with me. I liked Gordon because he didn’t discuss this; because he didn’t look for sympathy for the fact he is blind in one eye.

Now it seems he wants to be everybody’s buddy. A trick Blair could pull off but not Brown. Even Blair went too far when he told a journalist: “Just call me Tony” to which the journalist refused out of respect for the office of Prime Minister.

Gordon play to your strengths, I don’t want to be your mate; I don’t care to know about your private life. The country is on the long road to recovery from recession and I would feel a lot safer with you at the head of government than Web-Cameron. People who vote want politicians, if you really want to earn my respect and vote, then do an hour long interview with Jeremy Paxman. I don’t think anyone would blame you if you came out of that one crying.

Turkey has done it; France is in the process of doing it, yet in merry England we still encourage the horribly unsocial act of wearing the burka. This face prison is the single greatest act an individual can carry out to discourage the integration of various cultures into society.

It really has no other purpose than to keep women down. I’ve heard the arguments that some women choose to wear it of their own free will but I’ve known women in the past whose idea of pleasure is receiving pain (I have been around); should we legalise wife beating?

It’s not pretty to look at, like the Angel of Death is doing her shopping down Tesco in Harrow. I’m a grown man and I find this offensive bit of cloth intimidating.

We live in such a security conscious city it seems bizarre, I wonder if I went down to Buckingham Palace wearing a balaclava and decided to take a few tourist pictures for the holiday album, how long before I’m picked up and given my 90 internment days without trial?

In a climate where the BNP is gaining ground, this frightful piece of headwear is like lighting a fire under the backside of the bigoted face (sic) of Britain. I know people will want accuse me of racism by writing these things, but you can’t because I’m not. I am simply a concerned citizen who also came to this country for a better life; the only difference with me is I didn’t expect to be able force my ways and customs on the indigenous Britons.

You may argue that being Irish my way of life is much more similar to the English way than others, read Irish history; we’ve more reason to grind the axe than most. But acting like that is really in no-one’s best interests.