Live every day as if it were your last, for some day you are sure to be right!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Bored, Can't Sleep, Unmotivated...

Man, I am in a severe funk this week. I just can't seem to move on all eight cylinders.

Remember how I was so tired for so long because of work? Well now, I cannot sleep at all. I have the worst insomnia every night and end up lurking around the house doing not a damn thing, but then I eventually pass out around 9:00 or 10:00 in the morning. Usually I get about two hours of sleep, but without fail, the phone rings, somebody knocks at the door, or there's enough noise outside to wake me up. So I get up, drag ass around for several hours, then lay in bed all night trying to sleep. It's been an endless cycle for a couple of weeks now.

That would explain the dearth of interesting posts. Seriously, I've gone back and read everything for the past month or so and I must apologize. I'm ashamed of my lack of effort. But right now, I'm just not feelin' it--in a big way. It's not like I don't have the time to do it, either. It's just that my brain feels like a cold cup of coffee, forgotten on the nightstand.

I suppose that most of it has to do with being up in the air about the job situation. I'm highly confident that I'll have a permanent spot, but damn, I just wish they'd tell me already--one way or the other. It seems that most of my decisions--even little piddly ones, hang in the balance waiting to find out. I mean, I'm not gonna go to Costco and shell out a couple hundred bucks on economy-sized laundry soap and other non-perishables if I find out that I'm out of a job next week. So I don't do that. Same with going to the regular grocery store--do I stock up, like I usually want to do, or do I sit and wait, because there's an off-chance that I'd bail out of Vegas completely if I'm unemployed again. And who the hell wants to pack up a pantry full of canned goods?

I have a little money stashed away to survive on for awhile, but even so, the economy out here still sucks, and if it doesn't improve soon, well, I'm not gonna be out contributing to it, either. I'm kind of in 'bunker' mode right now. I haven't gone out and done anything fun in awhile, and part of the reason is that I just don't want to spend the money.

Oh well. That's the way it goes. Maybe I'll know something this week. Believe me, if I find out that I *am* going to be kept on permanently, well, it'll be like the weight of the world off my shoulders and I'm guessing that the floodgates of creativity and productivity will come crashing open.

Other than that, right now I'm working my way through a couple of less-than-stellar books that have been sitting on my shelf for awhile. On the other hand, we have a full crew confirmed for poker night tomorrow night, so that'll be a lot of fun. AC still has softball, so he won't be around spilling drinks or burning holes in the green felt this week, but we'll somehow manage to still have a good time. I still have plenty of mudslide and margarita mix on hand, and a case of Mexican beer in the fridge, so I guess all we need is some munchies and we'll be good to go.