Monday, March 25, 2013

Stuck in the middle of boring class and now don't know what to do. But then suddenly comes to my mind when the time during my practical semester. 6 month onboard kd jebat. Lot of things happen during this period. One of unforgettable experience is I and my buddy had been given an opportunity to fly with super lynx. Such a great memories, first timers to be on board helicopter and such a powerful SUPER LYNX. This picture had been snapped by myself during that time...

But now in the business continuing my preparation course in this institution. Sad to be here because of my 'LOVELY' comrades but life must go on, right? Hopefully Allah will always with me...insyallah. ...

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Shelia Hamzah....why all these sudden? hahaahha...just nothing....coming
in this morning, one of my friend had played this song through his laptop. Nice
song to hear just meet my sad feelings trough these days... :(

Guess what? I am
still giving opportunity to breathe this morning air...i mean i am still living
on after going through mundane day had passed yesterday. Alhamdulillah. Today i
am still in not quite good mood, feeling that why do i need to be here... it
seems like i lost hope. It's because before this, i still have friends, can
talk to after having stress situation with the organization. But then, what
happen to me back days, now i am alone in this world.

So be it. Looks
like, I need to reprogram my life so that I am fit in this situation. The
best lesson learns is not too relying to our friends. Yes, sometimes there have
a situation that we need them, but also when they do some sort of shit things,
it come to this situation...my situation....it give me a days of miserable
feelings!

But never mind. Some
good news that i get today is i am allowed to go for my outing today. So i will
use this time to refresh my bad day yesterday....need to go now...adios....

Friday, March 22, 2013

Some part of dialogue from
‘friend with benefit’ movie. Quite interesting story even though there’s some negative values in
there but something that I can do to watch that movie for hundreds times to
make use of mundane time to live in this institution. Actually I’m done with my
degree and now I’m into the business to undergoing preparation course before I
can be hundred percent ready to serve in the navy and this course took about
one year, so the activity is not quite pack. There is a time that I really
don’t have in anything in my mind what to do to make the time pass. Sound
stupid, isn't it?

But never mind. Actually I am not
writing this time to share about this story, but I just want to share how I
fell today. Actually I’m in the sad mood. Not really sad…it is actually
upset…sad and upset…I really don’t know how to express my feelings. Yesterday I
was very sleepy and I had missed to follow my compulsory routine that all of
us…I mean all the members of this course need to perform subuh prayer at
mosque. Because I am too sleepy, I waked up and just perform my prayer in my
own room and get back to sleep. And for that I've been fined for RM20. It is ok
with me because I am in the guilty side.

Then I continue my routine as
usual, going to class and so on. In the middle of that, I am the in charge of
one event. The event is the simple thing but there is some letters that I need
to take care of. So I need to draft the letter and ask my superior signature in
order the get the clearance for that event. But unfortunately my letter was
been rejected 2 times because of mistakes in formats and I’m using
inappropriate language. So I need to re do the letter and need to find my
superior again to ask for his signature. Can you imagine, I still need to
attend the class and also need to ensure that I can get the signature by today?
Then after last time I went to my superior office, his secretary said that he
was not around, just going back to his house! So my instinct is, this man will
not come back for this afternoon but I still give a hope that he will be in his
office so that I can get his signature by this evening. So I went back to my
room sadly.

The 2nd story came out
when I reached at my room. My comrades said to me that the fine for subuh
prayer had been cancelled but they will bring the name for those who not
attending the subuh prayer at mosque to another superior. SHIT! This is my
first time! And another instinct came to my mind that I will never allowed
going for my outing this weekend if my name go to that superior. And the one
who are endorsing the name are my best friend! I know I am guilty, but this is
my first timers! But never mind, I hope there will be another type of fine that
waiting for me as spending whole day on weekend days in this institution will
drive me to die with tribulation!! God! Please help me…make my instinct go
wrong!

So, two sad stories and two
instincts in my mind that I really won’t this happen. Then I proceed to Friday
prayer with miserable feelings. After came back from Friday prayer, I rushed to
my superior office to get his signature. Guess what? My instinct is correct!
That man didn't come because of him got family issues! Arggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
Then I told to my group members about this issues but they put all the blame to
me as I not efficient enough to do the letter. Oh my god! I’m trying my best
dudes! But never mind…they have rights
to put that blame on me because I’m the in charge for that event. Because of
that, I take a nap because I’m too exhausted this morning. Non enjoyable nap
for me this time.

After I waked up, I’m getting
ready to have my dinner. While eating, one of my course mates came to me and
said that my name is on the list that not allowed having outing for this
weekend. Double SHITTT!! My 2nd instinct became true! Which means
I’ll stuck here for this weekend! So as I mention before maybe I this is my
last writing as I’ll die with tribulation this weekend! Oh god! Why all this
happen to me.

Crossing my mind, maybe Allah
making up these things to happen just to give me this miserable felling. The
reason is, to wake me up. Wake me from my previous life that is life that I am
a far from Him. So I took it in positive ways with determination to make some
changes. Another determination for me, right? Hahaha…maybe. Just maybe I’ll put
‘istiqamah’ mixed with my determination this time. Hope it will lead to happier
life. Amiiiiinnn….