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...If you think that her feelings are sisterly rather romantic then you definitely have a unique way of looking at things Romantic feelings make more sense than sisterly feelings in why she decided to get closer to Shin after seeing Noe get too close to him.

I aim to be unique, lol. A great thing about this show is that there is enough there to stimulate thought in more directions than the obvious ones: that she loves Shin, lied about #4, Jun is a bad guy, Shin was just convincing himself he loves Noe, etc., etc. Not that the obvious ideas might not be the right ones, after all.

But I keep wondering if the director isn't including a certain amount of misdirection, to match the way some characters are hiding their true feelings from each other. I mean, they even left some doubt in the sister claim, while still putting it out there to make things more complicated. But that, of course, is an example of where an obvious solution that we had already talked about, was apparently the true one.

The way Hiromi warned Shin off Noe right from the start, there at his locker, could be the actions of either a sister or a secret admirer. That is certainly an example of how Noe got the ball rolling, for whatever reason.

Ok only one thing, You don't call the guy that you have a crush on like "#4", if she was really interested on him she would have learn his name. She just picked the first guy she remembered and it happened to be a guy that was good at basketball and she knew him by #4. good enough! I really don't get why the insistance about Hiromi liking Jun. It is obvious it was a lie to get her friend off her back, she got caught by Shin, so she elaborated on her lie. She also made sure she picked a guy from another school to avoid any intereferance or rumours to leak in the school, but the Irony of it that Noe happened to be his sister.

Very well done Cloudninja, there is a reason that the writers bothered with showing us the same scene from both point of views. They really wanted to hammer into the viewers how both of them felt during the bethroom scene.

I have a question, what happened if she already knew his name, but she still wanted to address him as #4? Back in episode 04, she called him Isurugi-san at first, but she changed it back to #4 right after she discovered that she was addressing him by his last name (in that little conversation she had with Shin at the very beginning). She probably addressed him in such a fashion because she didn’t know too much about him, and not simply because she was missing his name—which in any case brings to light the fact she had some interest for him (perhaps not yet in the romantic verse). Anyway, what I’m trying to point out is the fact that the interest for him was there in her words, but not exactly in the form of a lie or in the form of a truth.

If you can go as far as providing solid evidence of Hiromi not having any interest/feeling for Jun whatsoever, then, you are right perhaps... ; but until then, I’m very open to believe that she didn’t intend to lie in every sense of the word—only to hide the fact that she had feelings for Shin.

As far as Hiromi-Jun way back when she told her friend about it, she used "#4" because her friend wouldn't have known his name. Hiromi knew his name. She did the scoresheet, she had spoken with him, and she knew who his sister was. I'm not saying that proves she had a crush on him, just that her using "#4" is no proof that she doesn't.

Episode 8 (thanks, jaisrh) gives great further development to Hiromi's character.

Spoiler for ep8:

She repeats to Noe almost exactly what Shin's mother said to her, that her innocent face captivates men's hearts. Then she realizes what she has said and is very depressed about it. Previously, they have hinted at this similarity between the two women by narrowing Hiromi's eyes in just the way Shin's mother narrows hers. This psychological similarity is a wonderful touch, for me.

We see more and more clearly what a tough person Hiromi really is, weak only in her yearning for Shin. However, she also has a somewhat nasty side to her character, too, when she is frustrated and depressed. And she makes the same kind of negative comments while walking away from someone (Shin in the washroom in ep7) that Shin's mom does.

She repeats to Noe almost exactly what Shin's mother said to her, that her innocent face captivates men's hearts. Then she realizes what she has said and is very depressed about it. Previously, they have hinted at this similarity between the two women by narrowing Hiromi's eyes in just the way Shin's mother narrows hers. This psychological similarity is a wonderful touch, for me.

We see more and more clearly what a tough person Hiromi really is, weak only in her yearning for Shin. However, she also has a somewhat nasty side to her character, too, when she is frustrated and depressed. And she makes the same kind of negative comments while walking away from someone (Shin in the washroom in ep7) that Shin's mom does.

Spoiler for about above, I think you meant ep 8:

Reminds me of what I heard and read about the cycle of abuse that can happen in real life. The abused (Hiromi) are mentally scarred and start to treat others the same way they were treated, even taking on the mannerisms of the abuser (Shin's mother).

However, the fact that she did'nt force an end to Shin and Noe's relationship by breaking off dating Jun means that she might feel the same way for Shin in more ways than one. Meaning not only do they mutually have feelings for each other but Hiromi probably wants Shin to be happy too so she is trying her best to not to interfere since she thinks Shin likes Noe, even though she is suffering for it. Which parallels Shin's desire for Hiromi's happiness by pairing her with Jun, who he thinks she likes.

- “Friends always exchange side dishes” –Noe
- However, Hiromi leans towards the main dish just before she notices and directs her sticks towards the side dish.
- She eats with Noe, getting to know her much better.
- Hiromi accepts to return home together with Shin.
- Hiromi suggests to head towards the beach.
- Hiromi gives her own scarf to Shin.
- Hiromi tells Shin that Noe came to her during lunch break and ate with her afterwards.
- She said that “people exchange side dishes if they’re friends.”
- “Besides, I was the one that asked you to introduce me to her.”
- Shin’s mom forbids the idea of having the two of them walking together.
- The next day, Hiromi is training during the lunch break on her own.
- The captain mentions that she has been overdoing it recently.

- Shin enters Hiromi’s room

- From Hiromi’s point of view.
- Shin has something important to tell her
- Hiromi allows him to enter.
- She says spontaneously that it’s the first time he has entered her room since she lives there.
- She looks at her phone and thinks “what am I talking about.”
- About today…
- She believes it’s a lie that Shin actually met with Jun.
- A nosy boy is a stupid one. A meddlesome guy is like a fool.
- You came in here just to tell me that.
- You are the one who let me in your room.
- If your mother knew, you’d be in trouble.

- Shinichiro isn’t right for you. I think you should go for number 4. I’ll be cheering for you.

Please don’t expect too much out of this; this is the plain depiction of my thoughts.

Anything beyond this point is merely speculation from my part based on the fifth episode. Probably what I’m about to say has been beaten to death on the corresponding episode thread, but sometimes, it’s good to give my thoughts all the freedom they want to have. No long time ago I suggested the idea that Hiromi wanted to sincerely befriend Noe, and up to this point, it’s not far-fetched to believe that those were her intentions then and perhaps now. It’s interesting to see that Hiromi upon listening Noe the fact that friends share side dishes, she was already willing to give out part of her main dish—not that it’s too great of an example of what I’m trying to say, but note here that she was predisposed to continue what started back in episode 02, now that Noe was the one taking the initiative. It’s probably very strange to see this situation as Noe forcing others to do what she wants when the person in question didn’t mind her actions—nor she had any reason to do so—, but it was more than happy to accept the idea that friends share side dishes—which she eventually did.

Heading towards the beach with Shin was perhaps the most important moment between the two of them. It was first the suggestion and later on the gesture of putting her scarf around his neck that led one more step closer to what Hiromi has come to realize and essentially understand. She has walked a long path from the person she used to be in episode 01—one who wouldn’t mind avoiding/ignoring Shin—to someone who can no longer stay away from the person closest to her as that was the cause of her burden and pain. The scene symbolizes this—the joy of simply standing there without having to face any external conflict. She was happy, she was at ease; for once, she didn’t have to worry about the rest of the world. The scarf itself was the object that dictated how close they have become after few days. He is the only person she can trust inside of that dreadful house; she wants now to believe in that person.

If only Shin wouldn’t screw things up, but perhaps, he would have attempted to understand the heart of a girl—and one as difficult as Hiromi—, the relationship between the two of them would have avoided the chaos and awkwardness it’s facing now **And if that was the case, I wouldn’t be writing this much after all—but well, nobody cares I guess…** Anywayyyyy… towards the end of the beach scene Hiromi tells Shin that Noe came to her during lunch break, and further adds that “people exchange dishes if they are friends” (if this is an accurate translation since the meaning slightly changes when you twist some words around). Now, it is quite obvious that Shin got a different message from those words, so what did Hiromi intend by using such a phrase at the end of her conversation? I will try first to explore her new-found relationship with Noe as that may bring some answers to the question at hand. From Hiromi’s point of view, Noe is the person closest to Shin, and hence, the one who seems to understand him the most. When Hiromi discovered that she [Noe] could be very friendly as well, she realized that Noe wasn’t the wacky person she imagined to be, as opposed to someone who can easily befriend/understand Shin—in any case, it was some sort of a nice and very curious experience she didn’t expect to have with her (more or less after all that happened between these two). Now, if she says that “people exchange dishes if they are friends” is because she considers Noe as one of her friends (already accepting what she [Noe] said in lunch break). Hiromi learned from Noe that befriending someone (probably Shin) did not require anything complicated, but very simple as sharing side dishes may likely indicate—which she kinda got after Noe introduced herself. That said, I want to stress the fact that Hiromi shares this with Shin because she considers him important/close enough in light of recent events; but the problem is—as we’ll later see—is believing that such a person can be trusted.

And that’s how the double point of view of Hiromi’s bedroom comes into place. I had a very hard time trying to understand this scene because her behavior didn’t quite make sense, but hopefully, I’m covering all the holes I encountered at first. From Hiromi’s point of view, all started with a text message from Tomoyo, “Shinichiro isn’t the right for you. I think you should go for number 4. I’ll be cheering for you.” She probably felt that one, Tomoyo is trying to force an unwanted relationship on her; and two, she doesn’t like what Tomoyo suggests—Shin being not the right one for her—as it contradicts what she has come to believe. However, it is still unclear to her whether or not Shin can turn out to be the good boy she expects he is. Before continuing, I’m going to derail a bit off-topic to explain something that may be relevant to the situation at hand—and to certain extent, be of help to understand Hiromi from yet another point of view. Her room is itself a crucial piece to solve this puzzle. For months, this is the only place where she has been outside of any external conflict or damage—although the damage has been already done thanks to Shin’s mother. It is probably the only place inside of that gloomy house where she doesn’t have to feel subjugated or restrained, but safe as a person and as a girl. Nobody perhaps has entered her room before—even if it’s the first time Shin is allowed as she spontaneously/unconsciously/casually states. That said, she then looks back at her phone and refers to her recent conversation with him as the lines “About today…” may very much indicate. Now, what the heck is she expecting him to do/say to her? “You are the most important person to me” or “I love you from the bottom of my heart” may seem quite extreme, though it’s along the lines of what she probably expected him to say. She wanted to believe in Shin and waited for those feelings—perhaps not those beyond the romantic threshold—to be returned to her, but she soon realized that wasn’t the case. Shin entered her room because of some important matter that couldn’t wait the next day. Here is the great mystery, he mentions that he just met with Jun, but she outright discards that scenario as a lie. Now, why does she think is that a lie and why doesn’t she leave any room for that to be true? Unless she totally dislikes any topic concerning Jun, there are many factors that add up to create this kind of behavior. First is Shin who enters her room for the first time. Besides the fact they have been childhood friends for a while, Shin is still a guy who hasn’t met the secrets of her room (not yet), but in her desire to trust this guy, she allows him to enter even though a girl is not supposed to let a guy into her room—more or less if that’s his first time. Shin seriously chose the worst moment or topic when his reputation is at stake. Added to the bad wording and his perverted face, (>.<) it's not that difficult to believe that this was one of the reasons that made Hiromi feel disappointed and upset. He was intruding into the privacy of her room—something he didn’t seem to notice—and was addressed as such, “A nosy boy is a stupid one” or “A meddlesome guy is like a fool”—either way, giving this sense of anger and disappointment. The text message, on the other hand, serves to spice things even more when Tomoyo suggests that Shin is not the right person for her while #4 seems to be a better option. She unconsciously (?) wants to prove the opposite, but that ended up taking its toll on her judgment. She probably allowed Shin to enter her room so he can basically prove himself worthy; but Shin—from her point of view—was no different from any other pervertwho is only curious to know a girl’s room. Her high hopes and Shin’s idiocy were a combination that blew up her patience in an otherwise nice situation. She expected something better from Shin as the line “You came in here just to tell me that,” has the word ‘frustration’ written from left to right. When he started the crap about the “creative power of sincerity,” it was clear to her that he was just making an excuse to stay more time in her room and when he said that she was the one who allowed him to enter, there was no doubt that he didn’t have any reason whatsoever to begin with. “If your mother knew, you’d be in trouble.” This is the last thing she says before Shin leaves her room, and quite possibly, there is more than one way to interpret it. The first and most obvious one is the fact that his mother doesn’t like the sight of those two being together—more or less if he is in her room—, but she addresses underneath the fact that he entered her room for the wrong reasons—something you would expect from any other guy. In the end, Shin failed to notice how important is Hiromi’s room, and intruded directly into the privacy of a girl who has no other place except the kindness of his family. She, however, wanted to believe that such a guy was made of a big heart, but that didn’t happen. Shin was unable to think beyond the mere idea of doing the right thing and took no consideration for the feelings and hopes of a girl who lived closer than next door.

Hiromi is more and more <3. I love her even more after ep 08 because she is showing more and more of her shortcomings (her jealousy, her selfishness, irrationality etc). Whats more, she knows she's being a b*tch, she just cant help it. Ahh.. human emotion, I like that. Reminds me of Kei from ef~a tale of memories, I liked her best in that series too. In comparison, Noe is just plain weird, cute, yes, but undeniably weird; Ai on the other hand uhm... never really thought about her much.. The story would be just as good without her? xD Sorry Ai fans.

Hiromi's stock is free falling as we speak and one wonders if it will pull an Enron by the time we're through.

Even in a best-case scenario she's another Google; an overvalued stock due to hit a bubble and faces rough road ahead. Noe has her beat when it comes to romance and Ai has her beat when it comes to friendship. And we're already getting signs that she may repeat her mother's pattern. It would be interesting if Shin's mom was vindicated - now THAT would be an unexpected turn.

Then again, similar minuses only guaranteed a Nanaka win in the dreadful Myself; Yourself, so it's all up in the air. One can only hope that True Tears would learn from that debacle, but it remains to be seen.

Then again, similar minuses only guaranteed a Nanaka win in the dreadful Myself; Yourself, so it's all up in the air. One can only hope that True Tears would learn from that debacle, but it remains to be seen.

I dont agree that only characters full of 'plus'es should win. You can go on and on about each characters trait and how good or bad the sum of those traits make that character, but as in the real world, those dont matter in the end. People like who they like, and if they like them enough, they will see both the good and bad and accept both. Hiromi will win purely because Shin loves her the most, although he is with Noe now.

I dont agree that only characters full of 'plus'es should win. You can go on and on about each characters trait and how good or bad the sum of those traits make that character, but as in the real world, those dont matter in the end. People like who they like, and if they like them enough, they will see both the good and bad and accept both. Hiromi will win purely because Shin loves her the most, although he is with Noe now.

That's just so true. People are just blind when it comes to the person they like that they don't even care about their +es or -es. Love is not about fairness, it actually has more to do with luck
"She chose that loser for real? Damn man, why can't she just realize how magnificent I am?" <~ If you ever find yourself thinking like this, why don't ya ask God? He might sympathize They say God knows

...Then again, similar minuses only guaranteed a Nanaka win in the dreadful Myself; Yourself, so it's all up in the air....

Koshimizu Ami as Nanaka was the only good thing about that show.

In any case, I appreciate all the female characters here, including Shin's mom. I like Noe best, but I think Hiromi will end up with Shin, because he has always loved her. There's no accounting for taste.

In any case, this show can be great for me no matter which girl he ends up with, all depending on how the journey goes.

In fact, after ep8 I appreciate Hiromi even more than I already did. She is definitely not just a docile nonentity.

Spoiler for ep8:

Her hardness and suppressed passion, her ability to manipulate even the master manipulator Jun, her losing it and trying to run away, and especially the way she realizes she has reproduced her tormentor's jealousy and vindictiveness -- all make her a fascinating and real character, which she may not have quite been before.

Not sure when "pity" equalled love, but I suppose there is a first time for everything.

He thinks about her all the time. He's super awkward when he sees her. He makes himself look stupid in front of her. At least part of the reason why he's with Noe is because he feels that Hiromi likes Jun, and the deal was for her happiness (though I wont discount that he might be developing feelings for Noe at that time).

I see more love than pity there. Not the best way to show his love, yes; he expresses his love the way only a stupid teenager would (ahh, im reminded of my stupid self when I was younger), but love it is nonetheless.

Well, he actually communicates with Noe, is free to act like himself in front of her, makes active decisions for her sake, draws on her for inspiration for his artwork, spends time with her, and actually looks happy when he's around her.

It looks like we have very different definition of what "love" is - and the way I see it, his love for Noe is much more convincing. It may not last but it looks more fundamentally sound than whatever he has going with Hiromi.

When it comes right down to it I think Ai faces fewer obstacles than Hiromi. The situation with Miyokichi is troublesome but it's far cry from the situation between Hiromi and his mother. And he at least has a working relationship with Ai (or did, before Ai's Sekai moment), unlike Hiromi which was put on ice ever since elementary school.

She probably allowed Shin to enter her room so he can basically prove himself worthy; but Shin—from her point of view—was no different from any other pervertwho is only curious to know a girl’s room. Her high hopes and Shin’s idiocy were a combination that blew up her patience in an otherwise nice situation. She expected something better from Shin as the line “You came in here just to tell me that,” has the word ‘frustration’ written from left to right. When he started the crap about the “creative power of sincerity,” it was clear to her that he was just making an excuse to stay more time in her room and when he said that she was the one who allowed him to enter, there was no doubt that he didn’t have any reason whatsoever to begin with.

While I agree that Hiromi basically gave Shin'ichiro an opening to get closer to her, I don't believe the cause of her disappointment after his admission was because of the thought of him only being curious of her room or even worse, Shin'ichiro being a pervert.

I honestly can't see why you'd think Hiromi would envision Shin'ichiro being a pervert when there haven't been any scenes up to now that would suggest to her to believe so (unless she could read minds in Ep.1). I don't think Hiromi let him in her room because she thought Shin'ichiro was curious and I don't think she thought he was purposely stalling while trying to reason her just to stay in her room.

Hiromi reached out to Shin'ichiro and let him tread on a sacred place to her, both her room and her heart. When she didn't get the result she was expecting, she cast Shin'ichiro out and his excuses fell on deaf ears. I'll agree with you there.

I interpret the translated quotes, “A nosy boy is a stupid one,” or “A meddlesome guy is like a fool,” as a result of her disappointment in Shin'ichiro forcing her to further her relationship with #4. Unless that line has been horribly mistranslated, I think interpreting those lines to believe Hiromi thought Shin'ichiro entered just to see her room is short-sighted.

As an afterthought, I'd imagine Hiromi would see that event as an intrusion at worst, but I don't think she'd label Shin'ichiro a pervert because of it.

I think the lack of clarity and contradictions regarding Hiromi's feelings causes us to overanalyze the small amount of evidence we do have.
Don't think too hard.

What I was trying to say is that Hiromi gets the impression that Shin was no different from any other pervert due to his behavior inside of her room, and hence her disappointment.

Regarding Jun, well, that’s quite possible also, but I find it strange that she outright judged whatever Shin said concerning Jun as a lie (or as I rephrased it, not leaving room for that to be true). If she doesn’t want Shin to further her relationship with Jun, what’s the point of the label? And so, I was trying to explore other options, though I’m aware I went a bit out of hand.

What I was trying to say is that Hiromi gets the impression that Shin was no different from any other pervert due to his behavior inside of her room, and hence her disappointment.

Regarding Jun, well, that’s quite possible also, but I find it strange that she outright judged whatever Shin said concerning Jun as a lie (or as I rephrased it, not leaving room for that to be true). If she doesn’t want Shin to further her relationship with Jun, what’s the point of the label? And so, I was trying to explore other options, though I’m aware I went a bit out of hand.

I don't think it was that Hiromi thought he was a pervert anything. I think Hiromi was just hoping/expecting his first visit to her room to have some kind of impact/meaning/development in terms of THEIR relationship.

- Hiromi meets with Jun after school.
- Jun tells her that Shin actually met with him.
- Jun asks if she likes him, but she avoids the question.
- Hiromi asks if Shin told him something, she realizes it’s true what Shin said back in her room.
- Jun asks her out. She replies with wait a second.
- She asks if he hates snow. She likes it, but she hates it at the same time.
- Jun says, “To give something you like it’s hard, isn’t it?” which Hiromi reacts with a surprise face.
- She accepts Jun’s invitation to take her home.
- Hiromi is told something a bit shocking by Shin’s mother.
- From that day on she started to hate snow.
- She asks Shin very mad what exactly he told number 4.
- She tells him that she will go out with him on Sunday.
- Shin says isn’t that great? Which Hiromi replies with “It’s none of your business” just before Shin’s mom appears.
- It’s her first time going to the movies with a boy.
- After the date, she says “um… this really” before getting interrupted.
- Jun tells Hiromi that Noe and Shin are going to date which she replies with a surprised face.
- Jun touches her hair and her lips before she notices and retreats.
- Hiromi is welcomed back by Shin, but she replies with “It’s nothing” when he asks her what was going on.
- Hiromi tries to feel her own lips after recalling an image of Jun.
- Just because I’m mom’s daughter.
- Because those things happened.
- Even then to call me a mistake.
- She couldn’t forget the conversation, nor the time.
- Hiromi and Shin’s mom get into an argument.
- Hiromi tells shin that it’s fine and requests him to stop.
- It’s fine, leave me alone!!!!
- I’ll tell you something amazing.
- It seems like a joke right?
- That your father may be your real father.
- There you have it… **with tears in her eyes**
- She completely breaks down alone in some room while saying “she is the worst.”

Please don’t expect too much out of this; this is the plain depiction of my thoughts and feelings.

Anything beyond this point is merely speculation from my part based on the sixth episode. This episode was centered on both Hiromi and Ai-chan, but the former easily stole the show with her performance towards the end. It wasn't a simple confession everybody was impatiently waiting to materialize as the hints laid down since the very beginning were coming back to haunt the doubts of many over again. It was built thoroughly or perhaps painfully slow as Hiromi was becoming more affected by the situations she was facing—having to deal with the result of her past actions as well. When the valve holding her frustration blew up, it exploded in such a fashion that Shin was allowed to become the first victim of her one occasion of selfishness. There was no longer anything that she could have done to solve the chaos she was feeling—nor was it easy to take this path without ultimately hurting herself.

Hiromi's frustration was not particularly isolated to this episode alone. It was a situation that started back then when Shin's mom told her a incestuous secret that nonetheless changed her life 360 degrees. It was moreover in light of recent events that her feelings and emotions reached a new dimension, perhaps unknown to her, as one event led to another in a sequence of irremediable consequences.

It was a fire that could only ignite inside of her room, but its existence was somehow permitted as the result of a selfish desire. Everything that followed then would only let that fire grow as it pleased with Jun adding any other reason to be on her way. And yet again, Hiromi avoids the answer to a question more than one expects it should come out of her mouth—whether that response holds any definite true, nobody would really care. Any romantic feelings she harbors for Shin would remain an ambiguity as long as she allows herself that luxury (not that it’s always possible). She probably realized after talking with Jun that Shin’s words actually had some truth behind, though that realization was already a bit too late. That scenario was never part of what she could foresee in front of her eyes, but those words acknowledging an apology for such a silly mistake would never find a way out of her heart. Not now when one of her fears has taken form—he was after all forcing an unwarranted relationship at her own expense.

She did not want to have other options, or perhaps it was her unconscious will to cause some sort of harm that resulted out of her frustration—she accepts then to date Jun or use him to her own ends of escapism. Such sweet and bitter words—conveyed by a simple and yet poignant remark which strangely paralleled her situation. She couldn’t help the reminiscence of such dreadful day her life changed, and more or less, it was the snow the object of her liking and disliking towards certain person. Giving something she liked was hard, but Hiromi in the end was left to wonder on her own to find the answer—one whose ambiguous nature was part of herself and part of her only hope.

If being prideful has become of little concern to her or whatever she had in mind to keep her feelings deep inside, that pride has otherwise surfaced more than once to take the burden of hurting others at the cost of her own life. She was a girl after all—one who was also in the look for happiness and family, and perhaps love at the end of the spectrum. She found nothing short of accomplishing her goals but it was one of many hopes when her very own world was starting to crumble and such pride now becoming her only one companion—the medium to deny her weaknesses and the veil to hide the existence of a little girl in need of protection. If Shin would abandon his idiocy and discover he was the cause to such sadness, and his indecisions the very consequence of her attitude and behavior, her pride would have remained unopened, unknown to her present self, and yet that wasn’t what actually happened. She was looking for answers from the person closest to her, just in short to notice the suggestion she rashly made as dating that guy on Sunday was not something she would casually say. A form of retaliation came unexpectedly, though it was by no means the reflection of her true intentions. It did, however, more than enough to still the conflict of her enigmatic feelings—the inability to come into accord with her most personal words and frustrations, and the realization it was anger and disappointment the pivotal factors to such insecurity.

Jun may have not realized then the possibility of some ulterior motive behind the façade of his date and Hiromi did not bother to tell him either what she had in mind. She followed along as it was the one choice most available to her and soon learned that he perhaps was not really the person she had her eyes on. There was no obstacle between the two as one came to find what each needed on the other. They were far from developing the romantic verse of a platonic relationship and yet it was the case when one would come to understand any problem. That was probably what Hiromi thought and found no impediment to let the other know—that it was the first time she went on a date. A girl who was seeking an escape to all her problems and found shortly in Jun the person with whom she could actually abide to have the confidence of trusting.

The good mood, however, was not allowed to last any longer as the shock caused by some kind of discovery took over. It was the fact that Shin and Noe were starting to date that she would let those wounds rush opened through her mind. Her surprised face, although late to portray the effect of such words, was the plain description of many unsatisfied feelings trying to take over her world. She knew very well that any fairness did not apply to her, but waited for her frustration to settle down without voicing anything that would compromise her situation anymore—as despair was now enough to hint her state of mind by taking the form of a hopeless soul set free to destroy the remnants of her dreams.

Part of her self faded away as those words did the damage they were meant to do. She was outside of the house protecting her interior world and soon that took its toll by letting her weak side come to her as the girl she was—succinct of having her inexperience stolen as Jun came as close as touching her sweet and fragile lips. She noticed soon enough and pulled away from the uncertainty of being the lust to somebody else, although it was not her choice to become the object of admiration to the person in front of her eyes. Those news were the foundation to all misinterpretation and yet, they were the very result of life’s true misconception. However unpleasant they might be, the news implied that such desires were not willing to be kind to her. It was one of those cases in which she was left unable to decide for her own happiness—as though she was lacking some conviction by believing such a wicked act of god existed. Her story was in need of someone to lend her his ears and soon reached the conclusion that someone should also become the object in need of harm—she felt now it was her journey to be alone, amidst a sea of tears of forbidden grounds.

Her doubts would continue to persevere as though it was of little matter to her. She at last, found an excuse on the everyday work—believing she gained an escape to the creation of painful thoughts. Soon the patience will find a way to threaten her feelings; soon the self-denial will bring reality before her eyes; and soon she will discover that it was partly her fault to be in the hole she was. If there was someone to blame, she wouldn’t let her mother be used as scapegoat. She was her rightful daughter and loved her with sincere heart, but that was not enough to keep all presumptuous comments outside of her life. She didn’t deserve such treatment as past conflicts should not be brought to the present realm. Whatever happened then was not her mistake—nor was there a reason to be hers in the first place. She could no longer put reasoning and harmony before acting because it would stall her ability to live in the pursuit of happiness (if any remains). Her name had been already subjugated to enough prejudice as there was no one else to blame except for her. The comparison, however, was superfluous when said double standard would suffice to prove herself free of guilt, though it had the opposite effect by bringing to surface the deepest scars of her soul. She only needed one more push to let all her feelings share the ache of existing. That push was a person who was eager to learn the answers at first hand without caring too much about her feelings or any other motive behind.

If this was “something amazing” by mere analysis of her words, she otherwise did not believe so as it only set one more story in motion by paying the cost of her tears. It was the act of sharing past secrets of inviolable nature which would at least let her mind and heart rest at peace. She couldn’t help, however, the unavoidable consequence of hurting that person by immediate effect of whatever she did without reflecting. It was perhaps in total contemplation of this situation that outside forces may have been the real culprit when it was against her very own will to further moving with her decision. She let escape at last the question troubling her, that both perhaps may have been all along unknown of each other’s sibling relation as though she was still unsure of the foundation to such conjecture. There was no intention to convey a joke amidst the blue of a tragic night when she has been for a year now dealing with such a secret in the shadows of her heart. The confusion and frustration took as granted her indecisions by the time she discovered there was nothing left. She was unable to find the place where wishes would bring dreams to fruition, and hence, Shin was allowed to become the one her feelings buried deep inside were waiting to share their pain. She realized there was no meaning to keep a secret when the entire world was agreeable to play the same game as well—the one wherein she loses at the end.

She finally rested in the confinement of her room as tears were active once again in the task assigned to them—portraying the pain of having such a secret revealed and such a person hurt. She at last overlooked the chains around herself when the time to voice out the truth came—the dilemma of having such frustrations and feelings conflict with each other till no end. The result had no regret in the air, but it was, nonetheless, the sacrifice of her happiness and that of the one she dared to care.

The knowledge was perhaps an important part of the succession of events leading to that revelation, but such scenario, on the other hand, accumulated all sort of feelings before letting itself go out of hand or to the point she had no other choice except the one in front of her eyes. The ambiguity was her most formidable enemy when such a nice condition left room to develop her feelings—if any had the chance of reaching some conclusion. She wanted to believe it was an illusion the world she was living in, as though her white lies were meant to deny some kind of misconception created in the first place. Whatever happened then after taking the initiative of following a decision thorough would have direct consequences and she knew that very well. Alone in her room, she wept until no light could bring the hope of having her life come back to her, or the belief of having a chance ever again.

What I was trying to say is that Hiromi gets the impression that Shin was no different from any other pervert due to his behavior inside of her room, and hence her disappointment.

I don't really see where you're getting the pervert thing from, I thought why she was disappointed was obvious. Like you said she reached out to Shin during the beach walk and was hoping for Shin to reach out to her by coming to her room. Instead he took her lie about #4 and made the situation worse by setting up a date between them two. Of course Shin thought she wanted that especially since she mentioned her eating lunch with Noe.

I don't really see where you're getting the pervert thing from, I thought why she was disappointed was obvious. Like you said she reached out to Shin during the beach walk and was hoping for Shin to reach out to her by coming to her room. Instead he took her lie about #4 and made the situation worse by setting up a date between them two. Of course Shin thought she wanted that especially since she mentioned her eating lunch with Noe.