An undercover agent with the department of injustice (outside church walls)

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Endurance training

In preparation for an upcoming music gig (the dormant identity is resurfacing for good, I suppose), I came across an analogy for the life I've been in for the last 3 years.

In my practice time this week, I've entered into endurance training period. Like a long distance runner, they do not practice running, per se. They practice going non-stop. Currently, I am not learning how to play my songs. Instead, I know the songs and now I'm preparing for a marathon 3 hour gig. I've done hundreds of these before. They're fun but practicing the endurance part (playing the hour & 45 minute set straight through) is a drag. In the middle of my set I find myself thinking, "I know how to play these songs. Can't I go on to something else?"

For the last 3 years the izzy group has been in hiding and thus, Agent Wife & I have been pushed into deep cover with only vague communications from headquarters (CEO). The only words I ever get from the CEO in regards to this period in my life is "wait".

WAIT? That's a sucky word of instruction. Just when I think resources get as thinned out as possible, we have to stretch them even further the next month. And the next month. When will this period end?

CEO, we already know how to hang with the poor in our city. Can't we get out of this "wait" period and on to something else??

I know this "wait" period has produced many relationships and good fruit in our neighborhood. But, man...am I just a whiner?

Considering that I am an "anonymous jackass" and all (ie: not man enough to step forward), I still think that "waiting" is the flip side of the coin to reckless ambition. Not implying that it is laziness at all, just a refuge word for the intimidated.

But in this case, for me and my wife, we are betting our whole lives and existence that we truly heard the CEO of the Universe tell us to wait. And we are trying to be obedient with that.

We have heard the instruction wait more than once in the past 3 years. We know the promises on our life, both in ministry and livelyhood in general.

Thus far, the testimonies are there: we are not wards of the state. We do not live off our parents, friends, etc. We do not have a hidden bank acct or stock portfolio. Every need, both financial and physical, has been met by the CEO. And in times of doubt and whining (like I did in this post), all I have to go by are these testimonies too numerous to list.

The israelites wandered for 40 years in the wilderness before they saw the promises fulfilled. Right now, I'm thankful I've only been waiting 3.

Thanks for your input. I need the tough questions asked...even if you are anonymous ;)

case profile #000728b

As an undercover operative for the CEO of the universe, I am strategically embedded within the poverty culture of Abilene, TX (the fair mother city). This blog contains my reports, discoveries, observations, and confessions. My identity must remain concealed due to passages in The Book under Matt. 6:1-4. The names on this blog have been changed to protect the guilty.