// From an interview with a man from the underground Church in the Middle East: “There are people that are my brothers and sisters that I talk to all the time, and they’re very close to me, in some ways they feel closer than my natural sister and brother and family and immediate family. And I have to think about this – What if we’re all together one day and radical Muslims break our door down and they start raping for example all the girls in there?

I went and asked one of them, “What are you going to do if a guy, not just one guy, what if they come and gang rape you? What are you doing to think at that moment?” And this ex-radical Muslim said this to me, that is now a follower, a passionate fiery follower of Christ, “I have given up my rights. I have given up my position. I have given up everything for Jesus. I have given up my desires. I have given up even my future. And at that moment, when they come and rape me, I will close my eyes and say, “Now I offer my body as a living sacrifice for You as it just says in Romans 12:2.”

And when that girl said that to me that blew my mind, how someone can just go in the secret place of their heart and find Jesus in that moment when they’re getting raped and say, “Lord, on my knees, I offer you my body as a living sacrifice.”

And that’s what God is doing to radical female Muslims. He is transforming them into radical, insane, crazy Christians, that.. I mean, you can’t even put in words what that girl said and how powerfully deep what she said, and how strong, and what grace must be on her life that she could say that so strongly and so confidently to say at that moment, “I will picture Jesus and say now I give You my body.””

It’s been almost a year since I moved here. A year of growing and learning, falling hard, picking myself back up and growing again. A year of breaking and healing, and breaking and healing again. A year of doing life with the most amazing community I’ve ever known (you know who you are, I love you). A year of learning (as usual, always the hard way) that the world out there can be a harsh place – and that things aren’t always as they seem – but also that good can come out of the ugliest situations. That in the midst of it all I can always find a place of rest and refreshing in the comfort of His presence. And that there remains no true life outside of it.

I look back now and I don’t recognize the girl I was a year ago. I’m so glad I came. It’s been difficult, but in many ways, so good.

Sometimes I wonder how long my season here will be. Have I overstayed my time? Or is there still more to learn? Where is home?

It doesn’t matter though. I will simply grow where I am planted. And I will ready my heart for whatever there is to come. I will incline my ear faithfully to my Father and trust in His perfect leadership over my life.

Is He not the one who makes all things come together in His time? He is.

Those who sow in tears will reap in joyful shouting. The more the tears, the greater the joy that awaits. There are areas in my life where I have ever only known hurt and disappointment. Yet it is exactly in these areas that my Father wants to show His goodness the most. It is hard to believe sometimes but it is true. I know it with all my heart.

I know that the tears we cry before Him fall as water to tender soil. We look now and we see no sign of life – only barrenness and disappointment. But hope again. Again and again and again, even against the fiercest of odds. Never allow the tender soil of your heart to harden. Because hidden underneath is a seed of promise. The tears that fall from our weary eyes water this promise seed. And as we sow with our tears and frustrations, as we plough with our heart hopes and secret prayers – this seed will, one day, grow into the most beautiful tree of life.

The darker the night, the brighter the day. The longer the hope deffered, the more radiant the tree of life. We come with our ashes and He gives us beauty. We come with our broken hearts and He makes all things beautiful. We surrender and He restores.

All the tears I have cried, I will, one day, reap in joyful shouting. And everything that I have fought so hard to believe in – one day I will no longer have to fight anymore – because it will be as plain as day, playing out right in front of my eyes for me to see. Everything that I have ever lost, all the tears I have ever cried, all the brokenness I have ever endured, He will restore back to me with joy and singing.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a promise fulfilled is a tree of life. He will fulfill all His promises and we will dance wild and free under His tree of life.

Reveal Your heart through the stories of our lives. Grand Master Weaver, weave through us tales that tell of the goodness of You. Let Your heartbeat be known in every area & let Your fingerprints be seen all over. We will stand in awe and our hearts will burst forth in worship when it hits us, over and over again, that You are exactly who You say You are.

“You liberate me from my own noise and my own chaos // From the chains of a lesser love You set me free.”

He sets us free. From the things we can’t save ourselves from… and even from the things we didn’t know we needed saving from.

I have been waking up with a lightness of spirit. I’ve been walking through these days with hope flowering in my heart. My heart is no longer divided – I know what I want and I know who it is that I desire. The fight that once waged war within my inner being is gone. Oh what a sweet tender relief it is to know this quietness. It’s been a long time coming, but I can finally see again!

With glimmering eyes I lift my head up to heaven and breathe in hope. With a growing steadiness, I walk onwards.

Truly, there are far far better things ahead than any we leave behind.

Enough is enough. Sometimes you have to draw the lines and decide what you will and will not allow in your life. Stand your ground, beloved. Stand your ground and fight. Shake off all that hinders. Throw away everything that entangles. Cut off what brings death so you can step into true life.

Enough is enough.

Stay free.

Keep walking.

“One thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians‬ ‭3:13-14‬ ‭

Strengthen your feeble knees and keep on keeping on. A wise man once said that the choices you make today will ripple through the generations that come after you. He’s right you know. Discard the toxic. Choose the pure and good. It will be worth it all.

Oh how thankful I am that I came – it really was His perfect timing. I needed it more than I realized. Needed to hear again, needed to see again – the things forgotten, the things I pushed out of sight because it was so much easier to just forget. But He doesn’t forget. For the longest time I was drowning. Carrying the weight of toxic that I should never have let myself carry.

But in the midst of my foolishness, the Lord fought so fiercely for me. The more I think upon it the more I realize that all along He has been fighting for me. Mercy, mercy everywhere I turn. Mercy that reached for me in the midst of my blindness and pulled me out. I see it all so clear now.

It is time to breathe again Isabel. Breathe in the freedom you didn’t even know you lost along the way.