"I like mine with lettuce and tomato Heinz 57 and french fried potatoes Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer Well good God almighty which way do I steer ..."

--Cheeseburger in Paradise by Jimmy Buffett

After more than three years of committing myself to a vegetarian diet, I am back to eating meat. On Wednesday night, I had chicken flautas at one of our favorite Mexican restaurants. And last night, I ate a hamburger. Both were delicious, and I'm not quite sure how to feel about that. During these two chow-downs, my taste buds and stomach were mighty pleased, but my heart and my head felt guilty.

But it's something that I had to do for my health. I was not a good vegetarian. I did not eat tofu and soy and beans to make up for the protein I was lacking from not eating meat. I would go several days in a row just eating pastas and cereals and vegetables. If I did get any protein, it was usually in the form of a protein shake or meal-replacement bar. Those things are so loaded with all kinds of other artificial stuff. I just don't think their protein is the same as protein from a natural source. All this was taking a toll.

I've noticed for quite awhile that my hair doesn't grow. Then almost two months ago, I scraped my pinkie finger on my right hand. I'm looking at it right now--as I type this--and there's still a visible mark there where it hasn't completely healed. I burned myself two weeks ago--just a minor mishap--and the wound still looks horrible.

So we'll see how it goes now that I'm moving to a true, balanced diet. Something tells me--as much as I hate to admit it--that I'll feel much better and much more energetic. I felt more satisfied after eating that burger last night than I've felt in months. I didn't feel dog-tired by 8:00 p.m.--like I usually do--and I didn't have any late-night cravings.

I'm trying not to blame myself too much for caving in on something that was important to me. And I'm hoping that my guilty conscience will go away soon.

March 25, 2010

I just read on PopSugar--my go-to source for mindless celebrity gossip--that one of the great movies of my childhood was released 20 years ago this week--Pretty Woman. Good lord! Just one more thing to make me feel really, really, really old ... as if looking in the mirror every day isn't enough to do this.

Twenty years? It seems like it was just yesterday ... okay, maybe it seems like it was just 10 years ago ... but 20 years? No way!

I first saw this wonderful piece of chick flickery with my best friend, Kara. It was the night before my family boarded a plane in Kansas City for our two-year stint in Heidelberg, Germany. I remember my mom dropping Kara off after the movie and me staring out the back window at her as we drove away, bawling my eyes out. It was high drama. I was leaving my friends, my horse, my car, our awesome house and neighborhood. I really did think it was the end of the world. It wasn't.

I survived to experience many more angsty, emotional outbursts like this in the years that followed. There are so many wonderful things about growing up as an Army Brat but when you boil it all down, your childhood really is defined by picking up and moving and leaving people behind.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Despite all my griping about fine lines, dark circles, a scaled-back metabolism, and an aching back I wouldn't return to those days for anything in the world. I'm just fine right here where I am, thank you very much!

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear Here comes the sun, here comes the sun, and I say it's all right It's all right

You'd think we were living in Germany or Seattle this winter. Kansas is not normally known for days-upon-days of clouds, but that's exactly what we've been getting for months. The wind is blowing from the north today, and I'm still wearing a sweater, heavy coat and Uggs ... but I do see a few rays poking out here and there. And I say it's all right!

March 24, 2010

So I've been away for awhile--a good, long while. I wish I could tell you that I've been up to all kinds of exciting things. I guess I can say that some of my time away has been spent on exciting things--helping my mom start an online business, recharging my batteries, getting organized. But the majority of my tech-free time has been spent on simple, non-exciting things like sitting on the couch in the evenings and watching really bad TV, reading tons and tons of books, spending hours perusing magazines, and daydreaming about spring and all of the things I want to do when the weather turns warmer.

Even though I haven't been around much lately, I still think about my blog and my blog "friends" all of the time. I've missed you. I love coming here and sharing the little things that are important to me. And I love visiting your blogs and reading about all of the things--little and not-so-little--that are important to you. You all make me smile.

I hope you all had a wonderful winter. The season was downright horrible here. The days and days of cold, dark, dreary weather took their toll on me. But the birds are singing now, the grass is turning green, the days are getting longer and warmer ... I always feel like this is the true beginning of my year. I don't know about you, but I'm ready!

October 24, 2009

This is a test of Candace's ability to understand and use alternate forms of technology to post to her beloved blog. This is only a test.

I'm up way too early on a Saturday morning. I've been tasked with helping my dad wrangle a rogue dog from his perch on the couch to the vet's office by 8:20. His name is Alfie, and he's spoiled, and stubborn, and old, and cantankerous. The dog, not my dad.

Before I ramble too much more, I'm hitting Send to see if this little message makes it from my phone to my blog.

Seven years ago today--October 12--I was surrounded by friends, and family, and what felt like all the love and good will in the world. Seven years ago today, Rob and I got married.

I always think back on this day with amazement because the entire event was like an out-of-body experience for me. When I look at pictures, I have a hard time believing that "that woman" is me. I think some sort of coping mechanism kicked in and put me on autopilot. I am one who has never liked to be the center of attention. If I have to do any kind of public speaking, no matter how well I know the group, I end up sounding like a bumbling idiot. My hands sweat. I get short of breath. It's not pretty. But I was as cool and collected as ever as I walked down the aisle, said my vows, and left the church a married woman. God was truly looking out for me!

Our ceremony and reception were small but to me, they were perfect. Warm, intimate, wonderful. I wouldn't change a thing about that day.

September 26, 2009

You know I love you most of all. But I've got to be honest. I wasn't quite ready to see you yet. Summer was pretty fantastic this year, and I was hoping she would stick around a little while longer. I guess she had other plans.

Anyway ... I'm putting you on notice. If you want to live up to her gloriousness, you've got a lot of work to do. But knowing you the way that I do, I don't think that will be much of a problem for you. You're always up to the challenge.