Parents should be the spiritual leaders in their homes, and we can equip them. Delanee Williams, Kids Ministry Special, shares ways to equip and partner with parents.

Delanee Williams serves as a Ministry Specialist with LifeWay Kids. She is a graduate of Baylor University and Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. Delanee has served in kids ministry for over twenty years.

Kids Ministry 101 welcomes this article written by Wynter Pitts. Wynter lived with a passion to introduce young girls to Christian values in a way that they’re able to understand, so they can walk passionately and boldly in who God has created them to be. Wynter authored For Girls Like You Tween Devotionals and founded For Girls Like You Magazine. We are honored to continue her legacy! #wynterslegacy

I imagine the conversation will go something like this:

“Mom, remember that time you wanted us to do a craft together and you looked on Pinterest?”

Silence – immediately followed by an uproar of contagious giggles and uncontrollable laughter.

You see, I am not the craftiest of girls, but God blessed me with four sequin-wearing, glitter-paint-splattering, and sugar-loving darlings, so I try.

The reality is, I am actually the mom who …

Has an entry-level Pinterest board named, “Projects I think I Can Handle.”

Buys a kit to create your own gum, only to burn it in the microwave.

Takes three days and a dozen YouTube videos to figure out how to turn rubber bands into a beautiful work of art and a colorful accessory using a “Rainbow Loom.”

Tries to bake an edible cookie bowl … I can’t even think of the proper words to describe how horrifically this ended. It was pure pandemonium as a party of 10 girls tried to scoop ice-cream into a pile of burnt crumbs.

Paints nails. And cuticles.

Always has to double the amount of suggested flour in order to stop the homemade play dough from becoming a permanent placemat.

Forgets to turn on the oven light when making a “Shrinky Dink.” Causing us to entirely miss the point—the shrinking.

Successfully bakes reindeer cupcakes (from Pinterest!) but then arrives too late to the class party … missing the unveiling and enjoyment of my labor.

And this is just the beginning! I am serious—this list could go on and on! Regardless of my many failed attempts, my ultimate goal is to never stop adding bullet points.

Let’s just call it a work in progress.

The specific activities may not be my proudest parenting acts, but combined they are what define the most significant contribution I give to my girls.

My time.

So, I imagine my girls will have endless stories from their childhood … and I am prepared to be the punchline for most of them! However, it’s the first few words of their stories that are the most important to me, “Mom, remember …”

Memories are not defined by perfect scenarios. It’s the present—the daily and the quality time we spend with our children that will guide and provide the substance of future conversations.

Welcome Guest Blogger, Aaron Wilson.Aaron is husband to Jennifer, father to 4-year-old twins, and serves as an associate editor in LifeWay Corporate Communications. He enjoys spending time with his family and writing about God’s glory. You’ll find other great parenting tips and encouragement in LifeWay’s ParentLife Magazine.

A Father’s Bucket List!

CHEER FOR HIS CHILDREN — Fathers breed godly confidence in their kids by being their biggest supporters, not just on the playing field, but wherever God calls young hearts to bring Him glory.

ESTABLISH A REPERTOIRE of at least five character voices for story-time.

DISCIPLINE IN LOVE — Faithful dads aren’t lazy when it comes to engaging sin in their children’s lives. Dads are prepared to stand up to the real enemy (even when it temporarily makes them out to be the “bad guy” in their children’s eyes).

BE WILLING to get his hands dirty (drool, runny noses, diapers … yeah, you get the idea).

BECOME A SPIRITUAL INSTRUCTOR — A father doesn’t delegate the principal role of teacher to Sunday School workers or YouTube channels. He takes the lead in forging a spiritual path of knowledge and wisdom for his children.

KNOW HIS PLACE — Men who bow low before Jesus are the ones who stand tall as leaders of their families. They kneel in humility when the world says to bask in pride and rise up for their families when the world says to shrug with indifference.

MAINTAIN A STRAIGHT FACE when he discovers his bag lunch for the office meeting contains a juice box and cartoon character fruit snacks.

MODEL GOD THE FATHER — Dads have the unique privilege and responsibility of reflecting the first person of the Trinity to their kids. Often, a person’s most ingrained perception of God will come from memories of his or her own father.

BE ABLE to turn an old cardboard box into a rocket ship or princess castle.

CHARACTERIZE LOVE FOR HIS KIDS — Children in today’s culture are hungry to know what real love looks like. By demonstrating how to put the good of others first, fathers emulate the servant nature of Jesus (and the Biblical meaning of love) to their kids.

POST WITH PARENTAL INTENT — Fathers leave a legacy of words for their children when they choose to post on social media. Dads can steward social networking for the good of their kids, who will grow up needing godly examples of how to navigate the digital realm.

ASSEMBLE a bike or play kitchen in the living room at 1:00 am on Christmas morning.

LOOK BEYOND THE MESS — Dads who have a heavenly perspective look past broken furniture and scratched walls to see the eternal investment found in parenting.

CHERISH THE CHURCH — One of the greatest blessings a dad can give his children is to demonstrate a love for Christ’s bride, the church. Dads who lead their families to be involved in a local church are at an advantage when it comes to shepherding the home.

RELY ON JESUS (NOT A CHECKLIST) FOR STRENGTH — Every dad who reads this list knows he doesn’t measure up (at least, not to the serious entries). That’s actually the point! Christian fathers succeed in life, not because they knock it out of the park as parents, but because they admit they’re sinners who need forgiveness and the enabling grace of Jesus. Biblical manhood doesn’t come from a performance checklist found in a Christian magazine; it comes from confidence in the finished work of Christ.

While there are many more things a dad might do, in the words of Jesus, only “one thing is necessary” (Luke 10:42). Take time this month to celebrate the fathers in your life who stand tall for their families by necessarily sitting at the feet of their Savior!

Life is full of expectations. When a woman is pregnant, we say she is “expecting.” We watch weather forecasts so we can learn what to expect and prepare accordingly. We struggle under the weight of others’ expectations of us or suffer disappointment when our expectations aren’t met. Whether we admit it or not, we expect certain things of our children. Our expectations may be high or low, realistic or unreasonable—but we all have them, and they affect the way we live.

What do you expect from your kids? What do they expect of themselves? Where do those expectations come from? How do they affect the choices you make? The Bible teaches us four things to expect of our kids (and ourselves)!

#1: THEY WILL SIN.

Our babies may be beautiful, naive, and unsullied by the evils of this world, but their hearts are bent toward sin and self. Like every human being, the default mode of a child’s heart is to put himself—not God—at the center of his universe and put his own desires first. Our children’s sin should grieve us, but it shouldn’t shock us. Every heart turns away from God like a sheep gone astray—there are no exceptions, “not even one” (Isa. 53:6; Rom. 3:10).

Help your kids recognize sin in their own hearts. Grieve with your kids over the effects of sin in the world. Guide your children to respond to their own sin with repentance. Model what it looks like to humbly confess your sin, believing that “if we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us” (1 John 1:9).

#2: THEY WILL BE LOVED AND CARED FOR.

We love our kids. They depend on us, and we feel the weight of our role in their lives. It’s a glorious weight, but it can be a fearful one. If we’re honest, our love and care often falls short. In those moments, we need to be reminded that God loves our children more than we ever could, and His love never fails.

These precious kids are His, but He has given them to us for a time and He uses us to show them His great love. But when we fail, He is faithful. God is the only perfect Parent, and He is completely trustworthy. He loves our kids—and us—with a love that “surpasses knowledge” (Eph 3:19). If He loves us enough to offer up His own Son, will He not also “supply all [our] needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus”? (Rom. 8:32; Phil. 4:19).

#3: THEY WILL SUFFER.

We instinctively want to protect our children. If we could, we would shield them from all fear, pain, sadness, hardship, and disappointment. But we can’t. We can only trust God’s wisdom and love for our children (and ourselves). Jesus told His followers to expect “suffering in this world,” but to “be courageous” because He has “conquered the world” (John 16:33). Our comfort is in Christ (2 Cor. 1:5), and that goes for our children too. When our children suffer and when we suffer, we also experience the brokenness of this world, the sting of sin and death that pierced our hearts and tore through the entire creation.

But Christ took this sting of sin and death in his body (1 Cor. 15:54-57). He bore our sorrows, spoken and unspoken (Isa. 53:4-5). He wept with His friends and paid with His life to redeem His children and His creation from death (John 11:33-36; Rom. 8:18-21). He triumphed over evil, and we can find comfort in His victory (2 Thess. 1:5-7). One day God will wipe every tear from the eyes of His dear children, and all sin, suffering, and sorrow will be no more (Rev. 21:3-5).

#4: THEY WILL GROW AND MATURE.

We expect children to grow physically, and we want to make sure they get what they need to mature. Just like physical growth, spiritual growth doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process that starts at the new birth and continues throughout life. We all grow in various ways and on different timelines, but God doesn’t let any of us stay the same for long. We can’t make our kids grow, but we can guide them to the nutrients they need (Scripture, prayer, fellowship with believers). We also can challenge them to exercise their faith through obedient service and worship, remembering that “neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth” (1 Cor. 3:7).

Even if a child is not a believer, God is still at work, and we should be faithful in pointing every child to God’s love and righteousness, repentance from sin, and faith in Christ. It is God who produces saving faith and its fruits in our lives. So, whether our children are followers of Christ or not, we can be encouraged that God faithfully cares for us and for those He has entrusted to our love and our gospel witness.

Adopting gospel-based expectations for our children and ourselves is both humbling and liberating. When we bring the gospel into our everyday language, teaching, and discipline, we create a safe space where—together with our children—we can take a hard look at sin, then lift our eyes in great expectation to the abundant grace of God in Christ.

Kelly Mikhailiuk is a stay-at-home mom and editorial freelancer. She lives in North Carolina with her husband, Taras, and their four young children.

A version of this article first appeared in the June 2016 issue of ParentLife. To order, visit HERE.

Ah, February—the month of love and romance, chocolate and roses, and yes—the obligatory Valentines Day (or so our minds have been programmed to think of the greeting card business.) Kids spend time carefully crafting heart and doily-decorated shoe boxes with mail slots to receive dollar store cards with superheroes or princesses from friends and classmates. Couples feel the pressure to honor the day with at least a cheesy card or maybe ordering a cheesy heart-shaped pizza. While all of these things are fine and can be fun traditions, I wonder if we could displace some of the energy spent on the theme of love—to actually loving God’s Word even more.

Recently, the LifeWay Kids team commissioned the Nothing Less* study conducted by the LifeWay Research team to find out what makes the biggest spiritual impact on kids as they are growing up. In other words, what can parents do now with their children that will make the biggest difference in their spiritual health as they become adults? The findings were simple, yet profound. The number one thing parents can do (by far) is to help their kids love their Bible. It should be no surprise that reading God’s Word is the biggest indicator of spiritual health in adulthood. After all, only Jesus transforms hearts and He does it through His Word. However, many parents (myself included), have a tendency to chase the wrong things that don’t even make the list of indicators for spiritual health in kids as they age into adults. Let’s use Valentine’s Day as an example.

As a mom, I have volunteered for countless class parties, baked cookies and cupcakes, bought cards, and yes, helped create the aforementioned mailboxes. Our family has participated in Daddy-daughter dances and Mother-son dates, made homemade crafts for teachers, and spent money on flowers for grandma. While nothing is particularly wrong with any of these activities, none of them points to making time for Bible reading.

So, this February, I’m declaring a “love your Bible” emphasis at the Magruder home. Yes, we will still make class valentines. But, more importantly, we will make time to read the Bible more. Ultimately, I want my kids to fall in love with God’s Word and know that the Bible is His love letter to them. The heart behind it all is to rearrange priorities to what really matters instead of chasing all the other things first. I am looking forward to walking through the Gospel of John and having great discussions about how much God loves us. Maybe we’ll have some heart-shaped cookies and cocoa while we read and then maybe we’ll call grandma to tell her what we learned (she actually prefers phone calls over flowers). Maybe you too can adopt the “love your Bible” emphasis in your home and ministry this February—and beyond.

Jesus answered, “If anyone loves me, he will keep my word. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. The one who doesn’t love me will not keep my words. The word that you hear is not mine but is from the Father who sent me. John 14:23-24 (CSB)

*The book Nothing Less by Jana Magruderis available at Lifeway.com or a LifeWay store near you.

Jana Magruder serves as the Director of LifeWay Kids. She is a Baylor graduate and offers a wealth of experience and passion for kids ministry, education, and publishing. She is the author of Kids Ministry that Nourishes and Life Verse Creative Journal, which she co-authored with her teenage daughter. She and her husband, Michael, along with their three children reside in Nashville.

Family Devotions are a time of worship. They look different for each family. One family’s devotion time may look different than another family’s devotion time. The family’s schedule, number of children, and age of children are some of the factors impacting what the family devotion looks like. Typically, a family devotion time includes, reading a Bible story from the Bible, singing songs, and praying, Use the nine tips below for beginning and maintaining a regular family devotion time:

Intentionally Schedule Devotions. Make this time a priority by writing it on your calendar. While looking at the calendar, select a time that works best for your family, such as at breakfast, in the evening, or during the day.

Be Realistic.Keep in mind the ages and developmental stages of your children. Devotions with young preschoolers will look very different than families with school-age children. Family devotions can range from a few minutes up to 15 minutes.

Plan your time together. Consider using your child’s activity pages from church as a starting point. Select a Bible story to read and review. Choose a Bible verse to learn together as a family. Write down worship songs your family can sing together.

Be Flexible. Family devotions will not always go according to plan. The important point to remember is that your family is spending time with God.

Give Yourself Grace. If you miss the family devotion one day, give yourself grace. Start back fresh the next day to help establish the routine.

Be Creative. If a family member isn’t able to be present due to travel or schedule, use technology to include him/her in the family devotion time. Technology can also be used to include grandparents and other out of town family and friends from time to time.

Keep Devotions Fresh.Include variety in your family devotions. After reading the Bible story, incorporate activities such as making a Bible marker or playing a game to review the Bible verse.

Focus on the Bible.The Bible is central to the family devotion. Use a Bible translation your child can understand. Allow him to hold the Bible, and to help find and read the Bible passage.

Reinforce Lessons During Daily Activities.As opportunities arise throughout the day, remind your child of what you have been talking about and learned during family devotions.

Helpful resources to use in Family Devotions:

Read to Me Bible:Use the prepared Bible stories to read to your preschooler.

The Big Picture Interactive Bible: Use the downloadable free app to scan the illustration to watch and hear the Bible story come to life visually and audibly.

Bible Skills for Kids and Levels of Biblical Learning:Resources to help parents understand age-appropriate biblical skills and concepts.

LifeWay Kids Curriculum App: This free app includes games, puzzles, and content to help reinforce kids’ Sunday School lessons at home.

In Deuteronomy 6:4-7, the Bible shares that parents are to teach their children about God. They are the primary spiritual leaders of their family. Parents have the most significant influence on a child’s life and development. When parents make family devotions a priority, children learn to love the Lord their God with their heart, their soul, and their strength. What other ways can we as kids ministry leaders support and equip parents?

Delanee Williams serves as a Ministry Specialist with LifeWay Kids. She is a graduate of Baylor University and Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. Delanee has served in kids ministry for over twenty years and is passionate about developing, equipping and encouraging leaders.

We always want to encourage our families to live on mission. Check out this encouraging message to families courtesy of ParentLife magazine about how our families can live missionally.

My kids love a good mystery. Give them a few clues and they are off to solve it.

Everybody loves a good mission. God created us with a deep desire to fulfill our life’s purpose. And that purpose isn’t some intangible, elusive destination that God dangles in front of us.

It’s simple really. God has called all of us — families included — to welcome others into His family. Living on mission doesn’t start with doing something for God. It begins with telling others or showing them what He has done for us.

The question isn’t “Is my family called to do something for God?” That question has already been answered.

Ann Dunagan said, “God’s mission for the family is expanding God’s family.” We are called to go … to live our life for His glory. I believe just as every person has a unique purpose in the world, so does every family.

Do you wonder what His will is for your family? It’s to go fulfill His mission: the Great Commission. We wonder where, what, when … and often get bogged down in the unknown details. But the answer is right in front of us.

Where are you going today? Maybe you’re headed to the grocery store or the school office. Perhaps you’re dropping off something at a neighbor’s house. Wherever you go, fulfill your mission and shine Jesus. Your small step of obedience might lead you to great destinations or it might just lead you to the dog food aisle.

Either way, going is half the victory because that is your family’s greatest mission when you commit your steps to God. He will lead you and use your obedience for His glory. God isn’t waiting for you to be perfect or to get your act together so you can change the world; He specializes in using the less-than-perfect places in your lives for His glory.

You just have to take the first step. It’s your mission if you choose to accept it.

Kristen Welch,her husband, and their three children founded a non-profit maternity home, The Mercy House, to help impoverished teen girls in Kenya.

Make a dish — Worry less about an even menu and more about praising the cook. Even preschoolers can become known for their green bean casserole.

Manage the list — Let a child take your list around for volunteers of all ages to pick their tasks and checkmark when completed.

Work the can-opener — Let Uncle Jorge set the cans for young Evan to spin.

Beautify the table — placing at least the non-breakable silverware.

Fold napkins — in shapes of the child’s choosing.

SET STATIONS

To keep your head while six hands clamor to help, do private prep. If your kitchen allows it, give each his own station.

Use the French cooking process, mise en place, to equip children to make a myriad of recipes. Substitute, for prep bowls, zipper bags filled with the right amount of flour, sugar, even that one teaspoon of baking soda. Then kids open, pour, and stir. Preschoolers will identify the starting letter in flour or sugar and can choose the right bag and the right time. So label each bag with what’s inside.

Place a towel or rug under each chair to catch spills.

Extra grownups who treasure children are often circulating in your home during Thanksgiving prep. Partner them with your children to feed the conversation and connections lauded by Proverbs 17:1.

If only one adult is available, have the children rotate helping. Even if everyone pushes up a chair, let one be the primary cook while the others watch and tell what the cook is doing well: “Wow! You didn’t spill at all!” or “I can’t wait to eat that!”

INVITE KIDS TO THE BIG TABLE

Children find it amazing that they can create food people enjoy. They enjoy interacting with adult guests.

Conspiratorially give a question to each child to ask during the meal:

What’s your specialty — that food you like to make on holidays?

What do you think is cool about being my age? What do you think is cool about being your age?

What food did you have to learn to like when younger?

What did my mom/grandma do when she was a little girl?

Who is a hero to you? Why?

This article appears courtesy of ParentLife magazine. Karen Dockrey wrote this article. She is a curriculum specialist and author or co-author of over 30 books.

If you’re reading this, you are likely either a parent or a children’s ministry leader. You likely use social media, and it is probably how you found this blog post! But, you may not see social media as a tool in your efforts to disciple the children you love and with whom you share the gospel.

Here are three simple ways social media can be a tool for parents to use as they disciple their children:

Use Facebook groups to connect with other parents and learn from each other.

I am not yet a parent myself, but a lot of my friends are young parents, and I have heard about all kinds of “parenting” groups on Facebook. Sometimes Facebook groups like this can foster conflict or judgmental conversation if they aren’t monitored well, but they can also be a blessing in the lives of the parents who are a part of them.

In these groups, parents could share ideas about how to improve bedtime routines, thoughts about how to have more intentional conversations with children, or other aspects of parenting that can be difficult to do alone. Obviously, parents would be wise to first look for this community in their local churches, but hopping into a Facebook group with like-minded parents could be helpful, too.

Find creative discussion questions or other resources to talk with your kids.

Parents are sharing parenting-related resources on social media all the time. Like I said, I’m not a parent yet, but I’m already bookmarking all kinds of resources I’ve seen my friends share that they use with their kids—resources to help them be interested in the Bible, to memorize Scripture, and more.

Start a parents’ prayer group on Facebook to come alongside other parents in your church or community.

Without a doubt, one of the most impactful actions parents can take in their efforts to disciple their children is praying for them. Going before the throne of God on behalf of our children and praying for them to come to know and love the Lord is vital to discipling kids well.

If you’re a children’s ministry leader in your church, consider setting up a Facebook group for the parents in your church to connect with one another and pray for each other. This would be a great service to the parents in your local church.

If you’re unsure of how social media and children’s ministry can work together for the good of kids, check out LifeWay Social. LifeWay Social is a new service from LifeWay that exists to help Christians better use social media for Kingdom good.

Chris Martin is Co-Creator of LifeWay Social and an Author Development Specialist at LifeWay. He loves helping Christian leaders use social media to serve the Church. You can follow him on Twitter @ChrisMartin17.

If you are a mom who happens to also be in full or part-time ministry, then you know the tug-of-war that happens on your time, energy, and even your heart. There are so many women in ministry today—and particularly in children’s ministry. Because of this, I felt it was timely to address the dynamic of doing mothering and ministering well and in conjunction with God’s plan. Here are three things to remember about motherhood and ministry:

Know that you are called to both. Chances are, if you have been in ministry for any number of years, then you have truly been called. If you aren’t truly called, sadly, you will not last long. Ministry is a calling and when we remember that God Himself called us, then we can rest knowing that He does not call us without equipping us. Hebrews 13:21 says that He will “equip you with everything good to do his will, working in us what is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever.” Though there will be times when we do not feel equipped, we can hold true to the promise that He will provide what we need to accomplish His will. If you have children of your own, then you know that you are called to motherhood. This is an instinctive passion that drives almost everything we do—generally speaking. We wake our kids up, fix a meal, pack a lunch, dress them, drive them to school, check their homework, enroll them in lessons and leagues, and tuck them in at night. Of course, this list is much longer. Let’s not forget that we also discipline them, teach them, and most importantly—disciple them. We cling to the verses in Deuteronomy as a daily reminder: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Deuteronomy 6:5-6

Be warned that the enemy tries to lie to you in both ears. You probably recognize some of these whispers: “Why are you spending all this time with other people’s kids and not your own?” “You should be doing more at work instead of spending time with your kids.” Sound familiar? Remember, “your adversary the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion, looking for anyone he can devour” (1 Peter 5:8). He would love to steal any kind of joy you have in ministry—and motherhood. Resist the temptation to listen to the lies and instead, be fully present and open to the gifts that both roles offer.

Seek to find synergy in the two roles. If your kids are actually part of the ministry you lead, let them help lead songs, help you plan fun events, or prepare activity supplies. If your kids are teens, give them more responsibility such as helping you with AV equipment, leading worship, and co-teaching with other leaders. Serving together may be the biggest benefit of being a mom in ministry.

Jana Magruder serves as the Director of LifeWay Kids. She is a Baylor graduate and offers a wealth of experience and passion for kids ministry, education, and publishing. She is the author of Kids Ministry that Nourishes and Life Verse Creative Journal, which she co-authored with her teenage daughter. She and her husband, Michael, along with their three children reside in Nashville.