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Building confidence
isn't always easy, especially if you have low self-esteem to
begin with. In the dating world, the simplest thing can be the
most difficult of tasks, like saying hello to someone. But as an
entrepreneur and leader,
confidence isn't a choice. It's necessary for growing success.

Confidence isn't a tactical thing. It's an emotion. Just like any
emotion -- happiness, sadness, anger, etc. -- it can be triggered
and groomed, almost on-demand, through physical action. So in
order to achieve that high level of confidence to push through
the challenges and growing pains of running a business, here are
things you must do:

1. Plan ahead while leaving room for
spontaneity.
In dating, while strategies for how you'll meet potential dates
are keys to increasing confidence, being aware of and open to
inevitably unexpected opportunities can boost your confidence in
spontaneity.

While your business needs a plan for both the short-term and
long-term, the best thing about entrepreneurship is spontaneity.
When you leave room for the unknown, you open yourself up to new
possibilities that may be perfect for taking your business to the
next level.

2. Listen before you speak.
I teach my clients the concept of "active listening," which is
the key to carrying fun, engaging conversations that attract
people around you without having to say much. How it works is
simple: ask open-ended questions. After all, the point of
conversation is to relate to someone. But the important part is
listening to the answers. If you're not listening, you're not
connecting.

Any answer someone gives you will contain bits of information
called "hooks," golden nuggets waiting for you to use to relate
to that person. In a world where distractions are all around,
doing this effectively can show you are not only listening but
also care about what the person is saying and enhancing the
connection.

3. Pay attention to appearance.
When you're out mingling with potential dates, how you dress and
groom yourself can account for up to 25 percent of your overall
presentation and is an easy way to positively stand out. The same
is true in business.

Just because you may not be pitching an angel investor or VC
everyday doesn't mean it's acceptable to look like a mess. You
never know who you'll meet at any given moment and it's pivotal
for your confidence to know you're looking good. You don't have
to wear a suit, but even tech billionaire Mark Cuban does from
time to time, even though he's not a fan.

4. Exercise.
A healthy body is a healthy mind, whether in the dating or
business world. Spend 10 to 30 minutes each day keeping your body
in shape. It can improve everything from your posture and body
language to your self-esteem and decision-making -- especially
during the most stress-induced situations. The endorphins you
produce can not only build your confidence but also project it
for others to see.

Achieving workout goals can give you a sense of accomplishment --
momentum that can easily transfer to other aspects of your life.
If you need a quick pump of adrenaline before an important
meeting, working out just prior can provide the pop you're
looking for.

5. Make sure to smile.
When I coach my clients on effective introductions, the first and
last thing I say to them is to smile. Amy Cuddy, a social
psychologist, gave a TED talk on how your body language can not
only change how others see you but also how you see yourself. The
easiest thing you can do to feel confident is smile, especially
when your self-esteem is low. Even in the most strenuous of
circumstances, smiling can put everyone around you -- including
yourself -- at ease. Then, you're in a position of influence to
make decisions people will trust.

Those who are the boldest and most confident may be the ones who
get the dates and live an awesome social life, but they can also
secure the meetings and the next greatest business deal. Make
sure it's you, not your competition.