In this episode, we discuss Southern and Hillbilly horror, including Dark Night of the Scarecrow and the 2000 Maniacs films. We also touch on a little horror news and bring back the ‘guess that movie kill’ game from the Friday the 13th episode.

What was that, over your shoulder? Oh, it was nothing. I could swear I saw a person in the mirror earlier, but I’m sure it was just my imagination. I wish you’d get the plumbing fixed here, it always seems like babies are screaming in the walls at night. It’s always easy to run away from a haunted house when you don’t live in it, but for the rest of us, not so much. So why don’t we talk about it? This episode we feature We are Still Here, Poltergeist, and Legend of Hell House.

Do you smell the pumpkin spice? The perfumes of the melting wax? The crisp, clean folds of fresh envelopes? No? Well, it’s no wonder. Most of these pumpkins are far too old to smell, and whoever heard of putting a postcard in an envelope? Nevertheless, tis the season, and just in case you’d like to send a love one some carefully penned spells for ‘All Hallows Eve’, here are some fantastic old postcards to scrawl them on. Note that a vast majority of this art is by the very talented (late) Ellen Clapsaddle, one of the most magnificent postcard and greeting card artists of all time.

Bringing you the second half of Baffling Mysteries, Issue 5, I realized this was actually a fairly short issue compared to some of the other comics I’ve shared. It was one story too short to split into three entries, but a couple too long to really be an average length post. Still, ’tis the season, so here’s a few extra pages for your enjoyment.

What I liked most in this issue was the coloring. A lot of wonderful vibrancy. Most of the stories fell short of being satisfyingly dark. To tell you the truth, it felt like reading a diet version of Hand of Fate, but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

Halfway through the spook month already, and my how time flies. Let’s get a bit more into the spirit with some superstitious safety tips to keep you safe from ghosts, umbrellas, witches, vampires, and moths.

C’mon, bra! Lemme in!

– Close a dead man or woman’s eyes immediately, or they’ll find someone to take with them.

– Keep moths out of the house if it looks like they want in, and keep them in if they want out…they’re looking for a soul to steal.

– Never take a photo with only 3 people, and if you do…make sure you’re not the one in the middle, because you may di-…uh-oh…

– Poirot probably would have known this little tidbit, but keep an eye on all umbrellas in the house. If one of them falls, there very well may be a murder!

Don’t let those innocent smiles fool you. Nose-eaters, every last one of them!

It’s that time of year again. The Fog rolls in on your dvd shelf, eery Carpenter tunes playing as it awaits Halloween, while the echoes of ‘Trick ‘R Treat‘ can almost be heard outside your front door, and The Thing becomes Ravenous for Popcorn…yet, at the same time you wonder why these film references I just made seem to be disproportionately John Carpenter titles and a few other random titles thrown in. It’s like this game is Child’s Play, a veritable Witches of Eastwick…

Okay, that last one didn’t make sense at all, even as a play on words. Anyway, this October I decided to not only post the instant watch list on time (for once), but mix it with some Hulu for variety. Alas and alack, it’s mainly because Netflix really didn’t roll out with much for horror this October…and the proportion of films I actually wanted to watch that I hadn’t seen…well, this just seemed to be a little bit less painful. So, without further ado, the list begins…

It is no secret that a disgustingly high number of classic films, and especially Italian ones, found themselves butchered terribly in their transitions to the American screen. I’ve heard Nightmare Castle is no exception, but if you’re looking for the full version, you can find it under the title of ‘The Faceless Monster’. The discrepancy is 11 minutes. Pacing and I believe a bit of violence being the key missing bits…

However, I am not necesarilly a purist about these things. Because I can still enjoy it on its own if I haven’t seen the original first, and that’s why I’d recommend Nightmare Castle to any fan of B movies, Italian Gothic horror, Bava-esque settings, and of course…Barbara Steele. The one and only.

Throughout this film, I found myself mostly appreciating the set…the house…the costumes…and the fact that it really wasn’t as slow as some people would have you believe. Especially if you’re used to the sort of dragging elements Italian cinema is especially known for, the general classic philosophy of their filmmaking being that ‘cinema is about the art and the experience, not the plot or the philosophy of being concise.’ Taking that into consideration, there’s quite a bit of plot in this that you wouldn’t otherwise expect. A mad scientist tortures his adulterous wife to death, uses her blood to youthen their maid (who is obviously his dish on the side), then marries her step (or half) sister to get the family property and fortune…did I mention Barbara Steele is in dual roles? Barbara Steele is in dual roles.

A great film for the approaching holiday season. Check it out as soon as possible, and especially if it’s dark and stormy in your neck of the woods. You won’t regret it.

There is nothing I love more than a mint julep, a warm summer night, and a pretentious theatre troupe digging up the dead. Why, I do declare it is the most lovely evening one can imagine. So why don’t we just all relax upon the back patio and enjoy ourselves a long, slow review with […]

Corruption and violence stalk the streets of New York, and only one undead but sometimes living man can deliver justice equally to the good and the bad, indiscriminately killing each and every one of them who stand in his way. In this episode, we discuss just how far that Maniac Cop will go in […]

I don’t want to be buried–ever, I want to live forever, but this isn’t about my issues. It’s about our issues with the new Pet Sematary. It’s also about the original. In this episode Corey and Maddy compare the two. The good. The bad. The dead and ugly. Check out this episode!

Summer is coming. I think we all know what that means–vacations. Whether it’s to a mundane motel on a stretch of beach far from civilization, a run-down mental hospital in Romania, or a charming Irish castle packed to the brim with cranky ghosts, everybody needs to unwind. This week, that’s just what Corey and […]

All around the world, it’s the same song – – weddings and honeymoons are nothing but trouble. Don’t take it from us, take it from Gene Wilder and Chevy Chase. They only ever end up in zany mayhem, mutant babies, and crazy capers with werewolves and drunken butlers. Join us in this episode as […]

I hope you’ve got a license to drive. Don’t want to get lost, boys. After all, you can’t kill gremlins or ghounies with a silver bullet. Now that we’ve got all the references to movies we’re not talking about out of the way, this is our belated April Fools special in which Corey finally […]