Pursuing a Life of Peace and Grace

Middle School challenges

We just got home from our family vacation to Yellowstone. It was beyond beautiful, and I am so grateful for the opportunity to share the wondrous scenery of that place with my parents, husband, daughter, and niece. My Girl is 13 now, and going through many changes and growing pains. We’ve navigated them pretty well so far, including a few middle school lessons in dealing with disappointment. I’ve taught teenagers for ten years now, and I’ve long anticipated (sometimes excitedly and others anxiously) my daughter’s arrival to this stage. She is intelligent and kind, strong-willed, and has a confidence that it took me decades to gain.

I don’t write about her much because she’s her own person, a lover of reading and writing, and her story belongs to her. However, today we received notification that the scores for this year’s standardized tests were available; she was so excited to see the results because, well…school is her “thing”.

(And books…part of her prized collection👆🏻📚✔️)

I must interject here and say that as a teacher, I’m not a huge advocate of standardized tests, nor am I a fan of the stress placed on students with challenges who struggle to answer enough questions correctly to go on to the next grade or graduate. But that’s another can of worms I won’t open right now.

While I’ve been busy and many times ridiculously preoccupied with all things breast cancer related for the past 5 years, she has immersed herself in books, allowing stories to whisk her away from a reality that was at times just too much for her to process or understand. Her friends and many of the kids around her have spent the past several years developing a passion for sports or other activities, and she’s been reading and enjoying meeting with her church’s youth group. Sports are given a huge amount of attention where we live, so I have seen the struggle she’s faced of not necessarily fitting “the mold”. Next year, her horizons will expand at school to include Theatre Production, Student Council, and Leadership duties with her church Youth group.

So, today, when my girl looked at her scores and beamed with pride when she saw that she scored in the 98th percentile in Writing, and ONE-HUNDREDTH percentile in Reading, I couldn’t help but burst into tears. Her Lexile score is 1600; equivalent to what is required for Grad Students in college. Remember, she’s only starting 8th grade next year. She wishes to be a journalist, and is already researching the best colleges for her area of interest, and plans to become a Foreign-exchange student during her senior year in high school. Although she’s grown up in a rural community in a Southern state, she longs for a life in a bustling urban area on the East Coast, with plans for extensive travel.

While I know that life is not always easy, and she’s sure to have her share of challenges along the way, today I am beyond proud of her determination and dedication to living God’s intended purpose for her life. What a beautiful thing to witness her strengths and hard work aligning with her goals. I believe in her more than anything, and I cannot wait to see her journey continue to unfold.

What a blessing it is to be a Momma to My Girl. Wishing all parents the blessing of seeing your kids achieve all of their dreams. Prayers for all of our children to have the faith, strength, and confidence to pursue whatever they desire that is good. 🙏🏻💙

Difficult parenting moment of the year… Today, I attended the annual awards ceremony for My Girl, who is 13 and finishing up the 7th grade. She received an award for a piece of literature she submitted for a contest. And every year up to this point, she has received “A” Honor Roll certificates. Seeing the disappointment she felt (😢) when she realized that this year, she missed “A” Honor Roll by 1 point…in P.E.; she made an 89 for one six weeks was one of the toughest things I’ve witnessed.

I’m not a huge fan of grades that end in “9”. However, I am a fan of letting My Girl face real consequences (in this situation, of her “don’t want to’s” during a rough patch of the school year) of her actions. So…I let her feel what an 89 felt like, and today, she knew she was one point away from achieving all “A’s” for the year.

I am definitely going to give her the kudos she deserves though. She did manage to make all “A’s” in all other classes (4 pre-AP) for the entire year. She’s super smart, she’s wise and strong, and I see in her a great deal of leadership potential. I can now add determined (more so than before), as I can see her setting her sights on doing whatever it takes to avoid feeling the disappointment of being so close to achieving her personal best again.

So, I am sharing this experience to encourage all parents to LET YOUR KIDS MAKE MISTAKES, and make them when the effects are not life-altering. Let them know that you LOVE THEM NO MATTER WHAT, and that any mistakes they may make DO NOT change that!

I know it’s hard! I know you want to call that teacher and ask questions. But it’s so much better to learn these lessons when the stakes are not too great and the pressure is bearable. Sometimes, experience truly is the BEST Teacher! 💙🙏🏻