Questions on ego, control and following a path

“I am observing that most of your articles involve “ego.” The English meaning is little positive, referred as self-esteem or self-importance. But the Hindi meaning says “ahankar” which is a very negative word sometimes associated with the character of Ravan in Ramayan. Your articles also present it in somewhat positive way. However it is considered as a vice by most religions. And there is another thing called “arrogance”. Can you differentiate between ego and arrogance?”

Ego is the part of your identity that you consider your “self.” It is the “I.” You are caught up with finding what is “positive” and “negative,” or “good and bad.” Your assessment of my articles is that I present ego “in a somewhat positive way.”

Ahnanda is not concerned about that duality of positive or negative. Ahanda is not a moralist. Ego is neither positive nor negative and those exact words are in many of my articles.

If you look at the meaning of ego, you will find different meanings according to different traditions and schools of thoughts. (For instance, Indian vs. American and schools such as psychology, philosophy, religious meanings, etc.)

Ahnanda is not concerned with any of those meanings. When Ahnanda says the “I,” then look upon yourself and understand what YOU call “I.” That is all. This is not philosophy or a moralistic debate.

Whether ego is considered a “vice” by most religions; is not a concern of mine, for those religions are trapped in the duality of “vice and virtue.” Even though I have written several times that one side of a duality cannot exist without the other and that truly both sides are only ONE but with different degrees, even though that is logical, reasonable, still it may not be understood.

Your “positive vs. negative” is like saying that day is positive and night is negative. Day is virtue and Night is vice. You pick virtue, you want only virtue in your life and reject vice with all your heart… but what happens? Night will come after day. Do you see that? For God’s sake… Why do you reject something that will be experienced anyway? So you can suffer and feel “guilty”? Do you see that the separation of day and night is only a mental thing, meant to describe in “black or white” words something that cannot be pinned down so easily? Why? Because there is continuous movement. The word “Night” does not consider the different degrees of “night” that could be.

There is no single “positive” thing in the world, which haven’t brought its opposite. Every “positive” religion has brought up a reactionary movement of “negativity.” What was the origin of so much negative stuff? The positive thing. What is the origin of a positive God? A negative Devil. They cannot live without each other. Religions need that duality to preserve the fight, the effort, the battle.

You ask: “What is the difference between ego and arrogance?” I respond: What is the difference between the Ocean and “ a beach ? As you wished, that was a simple answer.

Question on the article “out of your control.” “…Let’s say I enjoy having sex, but if I don’t control that urge (that urge is in the mind), I will end up being a sex freak, masturbating everyday, visualizing people without clothes while walking (Few people have ended up doing rapes of women because of this uncontrollable urge). So in this particular case, we ought to control our mind. Controlling few things in life is necessary.”

Ok. Then control things that you “decide” to control. Control the mind from sex? Why do you want to do that? Just because you may masturbate all day and think about naked people? You overeat and you want to control that. The “solution” is not to control your eating, but to find out in which moment overeating came to you, what was the trigger. That is, to go into your mind.

Look: What is “wrong” about thinking about naked people? It is your belief in a particular morality. There is nothing wrong with naked people, but your morality is the issue, what your mind has learned to consider to be “good, positive, virtuous,“ etc. If you are repressing your own nakedness, you will be thinking about it. If you are not, if to be naked or not is not an issue for you, your mind will not be able to create a duality.

Why do you masturbate all day? Because you are frustrated that sex is not giving you the satisfaction that you aim. Sex is pleasurable but it frustrates you. Your mind wants more but your body and the circumstances are unable to offer that.

Basically, your mind is sick and you want to “control it.” What do you want to control? Control your need to masturbate all day. Control your need to think about naked people all day. That is, repress yourself. Wouldn’t be a more elegant approach, to heal your sick mind? How do you start? By emptying it in silence. And then? Observing it. And then? By allowing it to slow down. And then? By using it to retrieve past information when needed and put it away afterwards. And then? Your feelings increase And then? Your capacity for enjoyment increases And then? Your mind decreases… so, it becomes healthier.

With your capacity to enjoy, sex is no longer mental, then it becomes fulfilling, for your whole body, your whole being is involved an not just your mind and your sexual organ looking for a frenetic “orgasm,” which is only and empty release of tension… By throwing away your prudish views of the body, you may learn to appreciate and enjoy the human form, to see its beauty and perhaps your sex/masturbation may no longer be a possessive, relentless pursue of mental stimuli.

Control is neither “good nor bad.” To control brings the experience of repression. To be aware of repression brings greater awareness. When you are aware, there is no need to control.

Best to you…

“Will you elaborate on what is the ultimate aim of life. , And if you believe in 5000 year cycle then should the aim told in brahma Kumaris be true and to be followed ?”

The ultimate aim of Life is whatever you believe it to be. Therefore, why believe in anything? Learn to enjoy the “now” by freeing up your mind from its conditioning, your emotions from the trauma of the ego-mind. Brahma Kumaris is a path. It is neither “right” nor “wrong.” It is path for those who are in a certain state of consciousness. You need to walk your own path, to experience it, so you know your “truth.” To follow a path is “good.” But later on, it will be “bad.” If you quit without being ready, you will be bitter. If you continue when you are ready to move on, you will be frustrated. It is all on You. Be honest with yourself.