Hardcore Parenting . . .

June 14, 2010

Yesterday it was our anniversary. Yes siree, Stefan and I have been married for 12 years, and oh how I love him! This weekend, we spent our weekend away shooting a wedding (thanks to my wonderful mother whom came to help with the kids!) It was a fabulous wedding, and I can hardly wait to share it with you. We came home to a clean home and happy kids, and we thought we were going to settle into an easy evening. Unfortunately, that isn’t exactly how our night went, and I thought you should all know how we spent our anniversary evening.

As you know it was beautiful outside, and everything was rather peaceful, and instead of adding chaos to our night, we decided to take the easier and less financially wise choice and order pizza for dinner. We hadn’t all been together in over a week, and we thought it would be fun to have a pizza picnic on one of the first warm nights of the summer. It was wonderful. No crying. No whining. No sulking or name calling. Just happy children. Just a perfectly happy family. Why doesn’t it stay like that forever?

Well, my youngest two – well really my sweet Micah – lost it. When dinner was over, and bed time became a reality, he lost it. Screaming – crying – kicking – throwing himself on the floor -lost it. It is at this point, when parents have hard choices to make. What do I do with a tantrum? Send him to his room? Send him to his room, where he will throw everything in sight, and I will have to clean it up later? Spank him? Spank him, so that I have to listen to him cry louder about how I hurt him? Ignore him? Sometimes, this is the choice I want to make. Ignore him. Ironically, I think that if I ignore him, he feels less loved than if I discipline him. So, I throw off my “its-my-anniversary-and-I-just-want-to-go-to-bed-with-my-husband/lover” hat and put my “hardcore-I’m-you’re-mother-and-you-will-not-act-like-this-in -my-house” hat back on. I do the only thing that I think I can do it this miserable situation. I hold him. I hold his legs and his arms, and as he is SCREAMING in my ear, I tell him, “I am going to hold you – I am going to help you control yourself until you can do it alone. You are out of control, and I am helping you.” I tell him this over and over, and he screams over and over,”LET ME GO!” Soon, these words change, though, to “I am going to pee my pants!” At this point, I am at a loss. I know that I want to help him control himself, but I am pretty sure he isn’t lying. I don’t want to give in. I want to keep the upper hand. I want to help him learn that tantrums are unacceptable. I let me pee all over me. I let him empty his entire bladder all down the front of me. I continue to tell him, I love him, and I am helping him to learn. He eventually gives up. He eventually looks up at me and says, “I’m done. I’m sorry.” I hug him and let him down. He looks at me and smiles, and I smile back at him . . . and to the shower we go.

After I put Micah to bed, I remembered this sweet family whom I took pictures of last week.

They have three dogs.

They love their dogs. They love each other. They seem to really love life.

I wondered, at this moment, if three dogs would be easier than my Micah?

Maybe, but . . . well, I love my Micah, too.

Here are some pictures from their family session.

Jesse and Mia, it was so so much fun to be with the two you. I hope you enjoy the “sneak peak” of your session!