Saturday, October 4, 2014

People over 40
may appreciate this more … others too
perhaps can! .. – When we grew up - things were not plentiful – lesser opportunities, lesser wealth, lesser
play material, lesser food items, lesser fees ……………….. lesser controls and
regulations too… !! – most children of those days did not complain or were not
allowed to complain – ate whatever was given, wore what was available, walked
to schools, and later went in public transport ….. life was different those
days – one would exclaim !!!

As it transformed, we grew up, went to college, got
employed, got married, begot children ……….. and when our children (mostly one
or at the most two in a family) grow - many are worried even for simple day to day
occurrences. When the child goes out – the present day middle class
parents are worried of sending their
son/daughter alone – numerous Qs run in the mind ……. whether they would be able
to go places on their own - how will
they travel, will they be able to face the outside environ, would they properly
cross the road wary of the traffic, get into the right bus / train and return
in time ? …… and all this happened simply earlier.

Do you pride yourself as one of those new age
parents, indulgent yet strict as per the needs of the situation? Do you worry
endlessly and even stays up till your kid get home……… Do you always tell your child ‘what to do and
what not to’ just to 'keep them safe'? …
Every parent would have their own style of parenting. Modern Counsellor would say that the parent
should respect the emotion of the children.
The modern day children are demanding and at times downright
threatening. (emotional blackmailing!) Parenting (or child rearing) - the process of promoting and supporting the
physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development of a child is complex
~ and parent perhaps is not control of the situation. Unlike the education or
training, parenting skills cannot be learnt in a classroom nor read in any
standard book. One needs to constantly upgrade their skills.

There is something known as "cotton wool culture" - of over-protecting children which now
researchers say that has contributed to
a decline in freedom for them to play, heath and ability to perform of their
own. In an article in Daily Mail in Feb 14, it was
stated that protective parents are stopping their children from playing sports
because of fears they could be injured.
We complain that now-a-days children are not involved in outdoor
sports. One in seven parents said they
would stop their child playing rugby because of the possibility of injury, as
health campaigners criticised the 'cotton wool culture' and warned activity was
essential to children. The survey of 2,000 parents, by Omega Pharma's
Generations of Care campaign, found that a third of children spent less than
five hours a week playing outside. Competitive
parents are stripping the enjoyment from school sport, a leading headteacher
has claimed. He is further quoted as saying
that pushy mothers and fathers are making exhibitions of themselves and
damaging children’s confidence. Parents who do not allow their children to
exercise are contributing to a global decline in youngsters' cardiovascular
fitness.

Another term is ‘helicopter parent’ (also cosseting parent) is a
parent who pays extremely close attention to a child's or children's
experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions. Helicopter
parents are so named because, like helicopters, they hover overhead. The metaphor appeared as early as 1969 in the
bestselling book Between Parent & Teenager by Dr. Haim Ginott, which
mentions a teen who complains: "Mother hovers over me like a
helicopter..."

…. What sort of
parent are you ? – know which standard your ward is studying … how he/she is
performing … do you spend quality time with them – how much time you devote to
them – do you play with them and do you get to talk to them regularly ….