“I’ve always been with more partners than the person I’m dating, so I refuse to share ‘my number’.” -Bailey, 28

“I used to be in an open relationship … and I never want to do that again!” -Shayla, 26

“In the last few years, I lost almost 80 pounds. I look great dressed, but feel self-conscious about loose skin once the clothes come off.” -Stephanie, 33

Now that others have come clean, it’s time to find out how to do it yourself! We asked YourTango Expert and psychotherapist Abby Rodman for advice on sharing baggage from your past with a new lover. Below are her four tips.

1) Don’t share on the first date.

“Big secrets in relationships just don’t work,” says YourTango Expert Abby Rodman, author of “Should You Marry Him?” ”They put up walls and create distance between partners.” There’s no concrete rule about the right time to come clean. You want to avoid surprises, especially any that could harm your new romantic partner, but taking time to build trust is perfectly normal. Obviously, a person needs to know if you have an STD before you ever have sex. But no one needs to hear about your cheating ex on a first date.