For anyone who can't be bothered watching a new show to find out whether it's any good. Our team of writers review and recap the anime you've missed or should miss, bringing to your attention the best and worst anime.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Eureka 7: Episode 1

You know how some people cut themselves? Well, I watch Eureka 7. Basically the same principle.

The series starts in the sky. LFOs (mechs) fly through it for no apparent reason, and after a little babble from a character named, Stoner, missiles follow them. The team's leader, Holland, makes short work of the shooter, cutting him in half with a sword. That's right, the giant, flying machines use swords instead of lasers or missiles. If you have to know why, stop watching now. The show makes stabs at explaining it's mythos throughout the series, but none of it makes sense. "The adjective nouns employ almost-science-word to verb some other noun, in order to verb the bad things." I foresee myself skipping entire scenes just so I don't get bogged down in the logistics of pure bullshit.

Next, we meet our pubescenty hero, Renton. And I really wish we didn't have to. By episode 13, we'll all want him dead. His room is full of posters. Not of hot women-folk, but of people snowboarding in the sky. His radio talks of more verbs and nouns, which excites the young boy of 14. He's jump-cutted outside onto a little motor-bike, and takes off. Some dude fixes up his airboard and tells Renton that a 'cut-back-drop-turn,' a super-cool move one does on an airboard, is impossible for someone of Renton's age and basic intelligence. Here, we learn that Renton has a boy-crush on Holland, a famous airboard guy and a character from the first scene. One day, Renton hopes to be just like Holland. Which means in a few episodes, Holland will be revealed to be a total dick. I've seen anime before.

At school, a teacher attempts to explain something. The important thing is, Renton's dad was someone famous. A big guy in the field of bullshit science. A while back, bad things happened. Today, they call the badness period, "The Summer of Love." 'Cause it's ironical. The one who ended the Summer of Love? Renton's dad. Then something explodes next to the classroom. What? Why? Got me. Renton hits a kid for making fun of his father, and we cut to a new scene.

On the roof, Renton flashbacks to a few years ago when his sister left him to look for their father. She tells him, "If you can really believe, then the power of your belief will become reality. That means you can fly, save the people you love, and meet me whenever you want." She then gives Renton a compact drive; a vibrator looking device that glows green. It makes Renton smile.

Later, back in class, Renton's teacher tells Renton's grandfather, that Renton is kinda dumb. Despite his father being a great war hero, they'll probably have to kick him out for being too stupid. Over dinner, Grandpa weeps for having to take care of his orphaned, idiot grandson.

Renton bikes to a spot to airboard, or "Lift" as the show calls it. "As long as I can lift, there's no problem." So, of course, the only place in town to lift explodes just as he arrives. Litterally, it blows up. It's been fenced in and put aside for military training. Renton should really just kill himself.

As Renton and his grandfather fight over how useless Renton is, a little pilot in her LFO begins to crash over their home. The fight continues outside as the LFO does that cut-back-drop-turn thing, just before slamming into the house, next to the garage the family runs. We learn that this LFO is the 'ultimate' version, "Nirvash Type Zero." The pilot slowly gets out of her cockpit (giggle) and asks that someone fixes her LFO. Apparently, they aren't supposed to crash into houses.

Renton pokes around the Nirvash, spouting techno-nonsense, as Eureka, the little pilot, walks up and asks for a flamethrower. Renton shakes the blushing out of his cheeks, and asks her what's wrong. She explains that since she wrecked the place, she thought she should help out. [more bullshit goes here] Eureka walks away to get the flamethrower, and Renton finally figures out that that's an odd thing to ask for. He runs outside to find Eureka has gathered his belongings from his crushed room in a pile to burn them. Wackiness does in fact ensue.

Near by, the pilots we saw in the opening scene watch the wackiness as it ensues. We learn that Holland knows Renton's grandpa, but they don't really want to talk. So, they spy, as is normal when you don't want to talk to someone. Apparently, they sent Eureka in to avoid unpleasantness. I'm not really paying attention at this point. Probably shouldn't have admitted that... anyway.

Grandpa is all hip to the game, though. He produces a device, saying that it must be why Eureka's here. Afterwards, he orders her to leave and never come back. As soon as he's done, missiles fly for the shop. Eureka grabs the controls and drives off. Yeah, they drive, too. So, the military is attacking Eureka, because her and Holland are a part of this group called, "Gekko State." They're a little Robin-Hood-and-his-Merry-Men, but with more killing and flying through the sky.

As the Nirvash defends itself in the sky, Grandpa hands the device to Renton. It's something called an "Amita Drive," and Renton is to somehow get it to Eureka. The amita drive will "awaken the LFO to its true abilities." That's the most straight-forward explanation of things we may ever get in this show.

Renton bikes as fast as he can towards a cliff, monologuing to his sister about belief and stuff and how he's going to fly. Once over the cliff, Renton realizes he's an idiot and falls to a jaggedy death. Well, I wish. It's like those old film serials where death is eminent at the end of each one, only to have everyone smiling and joking at the start of the next. Sadly, he'll be fine.