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An Open Letter to Teacher Kira

You don’t make the weather. The kids do that. I’ve seen them. You don’t even make snacks. That’s the moms. You’re really only responsible for one thing of importance as a preschool teacher and it’s making and distributing months.

You started the year with “Subtember” and that wasn’t bad. It rolls off the tongue nicely, Sub-tem-ber. There were those in your class who thought Subtember might just be the only month we’d have all year and they were okay with that, but after around thirty days things changed.

Wanda came home with an announcement. “Teacher Kira gave us a new month today! It’s called OCTOBER!”

Sure, things got a little boring when we got to the fourth BER month in a row. Yeah it was winter. BERRR. Cold. We got it. So I was glad when you changed things up in the new year and put a little more effort in, stepping it up to four syllable months.

January. February. Wait. We’re not getting in another rut here, are we?

Wanda was excited. “Mom,” she said, “Teacher Kira is going to give us another new month next week. I wonder what it will be!”

“March,” I said because I can see the future.

“What?”

“The new month will be called March.”

Her eyes got really big. “How do you know?”

“I just have a feeling. The new month will be called March.”

She laughed, marching in place, “Ha! March? That’s hilarious!”

It’s a verb. It’s a command. It is, in short, epic month creation.

Teacher Kira. You outdid yourself with March. What next? A five syllable adverb? The next month will be known as Undeniably? You amaze me.

But just when I thought you couldn’t possibly up your game, you proved me right. You knew you couldn’t top March so you gave up and hit us with April.

April? Really? Two syllables. It doesn’t even have an action that goes with it. April. There are still eight weeks of school this year and already you’re phoning it in.

What next? An ambivalent month that can’t even make up its mind?

Might?

Could?

Possibly?

May?

I sure hope not.

You’ve got three weeks left to come up with something amazing. Don’t let us down.