Poor Ghost Santa. And the hideous green-cupcake monstrosity is... wow. It even has flesh-coloured bits surrounding the edges of the plastic parts, but the decorator couldn't match 'em so didn't even try.

At least the upside-down-heart-shaped cake isn't too offensively drowned in frosting. It just looks like Santa's got a major butt-chin.

They are all scary, but the green one is hideous! Since when is Santa green? His terrible expression may be due to the fact that he has realized that the baker put the nose/mouth/mustache combo upside down.

During the holidays it is just too time consuming to change/clean decorating tips. SSOOOO....star tip on (beard), star tip off (poo nose), star tip on (scary whites of eyes), star tip off (frightening irises), star tip on (large zits or are they checks) star tip off (schmear mouth) etc. Ah yes, that'll do!

BWAH HAHAHAHAHA...the last one. Bahahaha, somebody hired a goth in the bakery. One who has had it with the whole holiday thing and is feeling disgruntled. One who decided "Grar! They want another Santa? I'll give 'em another freakin Santa! Here, have some whiteface, eyeliner from hell, and black lipstick! Rar!"

You know, this could have easily been one of my friends, except when she actually worked in the grocery deli/bakery it was like...4 years ago, I think.

The CCC wreck, second on the list, made me think of the Harry Potter movie Goblet of Fire—when Harry and the others are in the big maze at the end and the hedges begin creeping around you, sucking you in and sucking your soul. I think that's what's happening to this Santa!

What is with using the upside down heart pans to make a face? It doesn't even *almost* work. It just looks terrible, and it looks like a big butt. Just go with the round pans, please. Pretty, please.

And I'm confused by the frown on #2. It's obviously put on right b/c of the nose. So, under what circumstances would that have been an appropriate face to use? I'm very confused by that particular set of plastic bits. If you cover the mouth, the eyes could look cheerful when paired with a big smile. But with the frown? He looks DEVASTATED. Is this the mormon santa catching someone playing with his little factory? http://www.lds-mormon.com/only.shtml

W.V.: Stroppe! v. (strahp or strohp) slang Usually command. 1. A stuttered call of a wreck watcher to the designing of a wreckreator. 2. A mispronounced though still effective call of grief that something atrocious in nature should be halted immediately.

On encountering another wrecked cake Green let out a strangled cry, "Stroppe! I can't take any more!"

The second one is *obviously* supposed to be the Grinch right after he hears the Whos singing even though they have no presents or roast beast - just the moment he begins to feel guilty enough to take back all the loot.

Also, scary as they all are (readioactive CCC frowning Santa--WTF? and spraytan Easter egg Santa? and death mask santa with a squirt of rouge?)

I think sad santa is so cute! doesn't look like Santa, but maybe a pouty little elf. The pink cheeks! The cottonball beard! kinda sweet.

now the upside-down heart Santa with star tip facial features and a wild butt shaped beard-ugh. But I think you're all mistaken--I don't think that's a heart cake. I think it's a heart COOKIE. And it makes Santa look a little pock-marked like he had a bad case of chicken pox as a kid.

wv: vismop--What you need to clear (or mop) the visions of these bad cakes from your memory.

I found your blog a few months ago and have been entranced with these hideous and funny creations ever since...and I am still shocked and awed everytime I see one so ugly-the absolute disbelief that any bakery/store could possibly put it out for sale. Wow. Keep up the good work!

i used to work for mrs. fields and the cookie santa? that's almost exactly like they wanted us to make them look. like, that's straight out of the book. i worked there for 3 christmases and never made that one.

I love the upside-down-heart-cake-tin left over from last Valentine's day. Every holiday since they've been trying to cram something into it....i don't see how "Santa" came out on top! And yes, the quotations around 'Santa' were intentional-I promise I wasn't just trying to piss you off, Jen. :)

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What's a Wreck?

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

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