I haven't cried since a long time and that is making me uneasy, like a lot has been stored in this brain, which I can cry out and forget, but no matter what I am unable to cry and that's making me worse,like my therapist had to give me tranquilizers to make me stop.I wish I could cry and be done with a lot of things. Nowadays, even confessing isn't working like a lightness which I used to feel after confessing something is no more fit. Maybe I have finally petrified by inner self maybe it's hollowed out or maybe it's just asleep.I wish I knew.

I have only cried once in three years. Family have died. A friend is in a coma. I used to cry all the time. Sadness yes but no tears. Then about three weeks ago I watch the film Armageddon. Cry for about two hours straight.

My dad talking about how he'll probably die in the next 20 years and he's not too bothered by it. I started sobbing and told him he's not allowed to say things like that because he's made me too emotionally dependent on him. Bah!