Hello, I've been a member of JoS for over 5 years now, but I've never posted on the yahoo groups or forums before, but recently I've had a lot of problems and negative thoughts come to mind.I didn't come to Satanism like most of you here. Years ago I only thought that Satan and the demons where evil beings because of Christian programming. I was always attracted to witchcraft and things like that, and I had heard all the stories over the years of how people would 'sell their soul' for money, fame and power, etc. I didn't know any better back then, so I actually tried this. I didn't have a peaceful childhood I guess you could say. Ive been studying astrology a lot and I can say that I've learned a thing or two about astrology from the Azazel's astrology page, and reading the posts of you guys here.I have a natal retrograde pluto in my 4th house and I also have Saturn in my 8th house.I never had a fun or happy childhood growing up. I lived in extreme poverty and I still do, but im working to fix that issue. And there was also total chaos in my home thanks to my pluto. Its really did some damage to my overall personality and how I view the world around me.Because of the Saturn in my chart, I never had sex and ive never been with a woman, and I eventually gave up completely on trying. Its caused a lot of stress on me and a lot of inner conflicts and negativity over the years by not having a proper sexual outlet that I cant get out of my mind. Atleast I know that im not the only one like this and theres people in this world that's in far worse shape than I am.When I was about 16 I tried the whole, 'soul selling' thing and I thought that I would be fine after then, but I didn't know that the whole sell your soul thing was false. I just wanted to escape the horrible life that I had. Back then I didn't know about JoS and I only believed in the 'Christian version'of Satan, so you can imagine the horrible things I was going through in life if I literally thought I would 'burn for eternity' for 'selling my soul' and was actually pushed far enough to try it. I got deep into Satanism shorty after that because I thought if Satan owns my soul, I guess I should start studying Satanism.I came across a youtube video and I cant remember the name of it but I remember people where arguing in the comments section about Satan and Demons not being evil and things like that. I said outloud while trying my best to talk to Satan, asking him to show me the truth of all of this. A while after that I found JoS and ive been a member ever since then.

Its been fun over the years studying about Satan and being a member here, but ive also had a lot of doubts and worries.I've tried my best to open my chakras and stuff, but I just cant have any luck at it. I cant focus good enough on them, and I cant 'feel' them at all. My mind trails off and before I know it im thinking about other things than the meditation im doing at the time. I think I don't put enough effort into it, or Im just not taking it serious enough. Ive had a lot of positive feelings though. Ive felt my third eye a lot. I think its open but my overall astral senses aren't strong enough to pick up on the astral yet.

One of the biggest problems im having is I don't really think that Satan actually accepts me, and my attempts to contact and talk with demons in every way ive tried have failed. I don't know why I was led to JoS only to be left alone and ignored like this. I know that Satan and the Demons are busy and things, but after 5 years of no contact, it feels like they don't really care.I wonder who my guardian demon is. Im not sure, but ive narrowed it down to Beelzebub, Amon Ra, and Bune. I don't know why, but I feel attracted to these three more than the others.

If any of these three tell any of you something while reading this, please let me know, it'll really ease the stress im going through. I know theres a lot of you guys that have very strong astral senses.I see a lot of people on the groups and forums that go through a lot of problems and a lot of pain, and I want to help them, but im stuck in a position where I cant even help myself.The years feel like there passing by so fast, and I cant escape the poverty ive lived in, and ive put so much power into attracting money to myself, but it seems to not work at all. I need help in the worst way. Before you guys say anything about the dedication ritual on the site, ive already done it years ago. As a matter of fact ive did it twice, because I told Satan one day that I wanted to start over and try to do things right. I don't know why I feel so left out and Ignored. Ive never asked the gods for money or anything like that. Ive always tried to do money meditations and things myself, but I just wish they would show me the way out of this negative life. Ive tried my best at the meditations but I feel like im not getting anywhere with them. I still live in an intense and chaotic home, and I want to get out of here in the fastest way possible.I hate the jews for sucking all the money out of the world and forcing me to live this way.These fucking retards are just tools and they don't understand that the lizards they worship hate their guts just as much as they hate gentiles.I told Satan a long time ago that I wanted to be a soldier and fight for him, but recently ive really had a lot of doubts and worries and ive been slacking off the final RTR because of it. A lot of times I wonder if this is actually real or is it just all a joke. I just want to have a happy life and not be so lonely and depressed, and to finally escape this negative mindset that ive had all my life. "Those who suffer for my sake, I will surely reward in one of the worlds" I sure hope this is true. because suffering through the years while trying to fight for Satan is all ive done.

Thats fcked up man, but dont worry you will get out of that state. I would higly really HIGLY recommend void meditation so you get grip on your thoughts so you can slowly start to get better, also try to be consistent i know it might be hard but its really important. Get out of your negative habits too, you want different life, start doing different things

Sun wrote:Hello, I've been a member of JoS for over 5 years now, but I've never posted on the yahoo groups or forums before, but recently I've had a lot of problems and negative thoughts come to mind.I didn't come to Satanism like most of you here. Years ago I only thought that Satan and the demons where evil beings because of Christian programming. I was always attracted to witchcraft and things like that, and I had heard all the stories over the years of how people would 'sell their soul' for money, fame and power, etc. I didn't know any better back then, so I actually tried this. I didn't have a peaceful childhood I guess you could say. Ive been studying astrology a lot and I can say that I've learned a thing or two about astrology from the Azazel's astrology page, and reading the posts of you guys here.I have a natal retrograde pluto in my 4th house and I also have Saturn in my 8th house.I never had a fun or happy childhood growing up. I lived in extreme poverty and I still do, but im working to fix that issue. And there was also total chaos in my home thanks to my pluto. Its really did some damage to my overall personality and how I view the world around me.Because of the Saturn in my chart, I never had sex and ive never been with a woman, and I eventually gave up completely on trying. Its caused a lot of stress on me and a lot of inner conflicts and negativity over the years by not having a proper sexual outlet that I cant get out of my mind. Atleast I know that im not the only one like this and theres people in this world that's in far worse shape than I am.When I was about 16 I tried the whole, 'soul selling' thing and I thought that I would be fine after then, but I didn't know that the whole sell your soul thing was false. I just wanted to escape the horrible life that I had. Back then I didn't know about JoS and I only believed in the 'Christian version'of Satan, so you can imagine the horrible things I was going through in life if I literally thought I would 'burn for eternity' for 'selling my soul' and was actually pushed far enough to try it. I got deep into Satanism shorty after that because I thought if Satan owns my soul, I guess I should start studying Satanism.I came across a youtube video and I cant remember the name of it but I remember people where arguing in the comments section about Satan and Demons not being evil and things like that. I said outloud while trying my best to talk to Satan, asking him to show me the truth of all of this. A while after that I found JoS and ive been a member ever since then.

Its been fun over the years studying about Satan and being a member here, but ive also had a lot of doubts and worries.I've tried my best to open my chakras and stuff, but I just cant have any luck at it. I cant focus good enough on them, and I cant 'feel' them at all. My mind trails off and before I know it im thinking about other things than the meditation im doing at the time. I think I don't put enough effort into it, or Im just not taking it serious enough. Ive had a lot of positive feelings though. Ive felt my third eye a lot. I think its open but my overall astral senses aren't strong enough to pick up on the astral yet.

One of the biggest problems im having is I don't really think that Satan actually accepts me, and my attempts to contact and talk with demons in every way ive tried have failed. I don't know why I was led to JoS only to be left alone and ignored like this. I know that Satan and the Demons are busy and things, but after 5 years of no contact, it feels like they don't really care.I wonder who my guardian demon is. Im not sure, but ive narrowed it down to Beelzebub, Amon Ra, and Bune. I don't know why, but I feel attracted to these three more than the others.

If any of these three tell any of you something while reading this, please let me know, it'll really ease the stress im going through. I know theres a lot of you guys that have very strong astral senses.I see a lot of people on the groups and forums that go through a lot of problems and a lot of pain, and I want to help them, but im stuck in a position where I cant even help myself.The years feel like there passing by so fast, and I cant escape the poverty ive lived in, and ive put so much power into attracting money to myself, but it seems to not work at all. I need help in the worst way. Before you guys say anything about the dedication ritual on the site, ive already done it years ago. As a matter of fact ive did it twice, because I told Satan one day that I wanted to start over and try to do things right. I don't know why I feel so left out and Ignored. Ive never asked the gods for money or anything like that. Ive always tried to do money meditations and things myself, but I just wish they would show me the way out of this negative life. Ive tried my best at the meditations but I feel like im not getting anywhere with them. I still live in an intense and chaotic home, and I want to get out of here in the fastest way possible.I hate the jews for sucking all the money out of the world and forcing me to live this way.These fucking retards are just tools and they don't understand that the lizards they worship hate their guts just as much as they hate gentiles.I told Satan a long time ago that I wanted to be a soldier and fight for him, but recently ive really had a lot of doubts and worries and ive been slacking off the final RTR because of it. A lot of times I wonder if this is actually real or is it just all a joke. I just want to have a happy life and not be so lonely and depressed, and to finally escape this negative mindset that ive had all my life. "Those who suffer for my sake, I will surely reward in one of the worlds" I sure hope this is true. because suffering through the years while trying to fight for Satan is all ive done.

Have you tried focusing less on the spiritual and more on the physical? In other words, instead of trying to raise energy via meditation, focus on raising energy via eating less greasy restaurant food (and more wholesome food like butter, milk, meat), drinking more coffee, lifting a moderate amount of weights, abstaining from alcohol/orgasm? In particular, have you ever considered taking up an "earthy" hobby like gardening or doing anything in nature?

It's possible that focusing too much on spirituality at this point can make you even more spacey. unstructured, and chaotic than you already are.

You said you tried working on your chakras, but to no avail. And yet at the same time you say that you have been doing many many money workings over the past years.What you're doing here is like trying to start a car engine without first filling up the fuel tank.

What you need to do is stop with the money workings immediately and instead focus on the basics. As Genie already mentioned, void meditation should be your absolute number 1 priority. If you cant control your thoughts, you can hardly control yourself.Aside from that, make sure you do at least the bare minimum of hatha and kundalini yoga every day. Same goes for the quick chakra spin and, of course, the Aura of Protection.

You do not need to be able to feel your chakras in order to work on them. Something as simple as vibrating each respective mantra into the chakra a few times (like 18 for example) every day, is enough to ensure you are consistently empowering them further.

And lastly, don't ever think that Father and the Gods would be forgetting about you. They help and guide us in subtle ways, and often times there's active action required on our part in order to move forward from a deadlock situation. You finally making your first post here is exactly such an action. Use this opportunity and take the advice you are given here to heart. Pay attention and listen to subtle signs the Gods may give you on your path.And never forget that as long as you're with Father Satan, you've got a place here with us.

I've tried my best to open my chakras and stuff, but I just cant have any luck at it. I cant focus good enough on them, and I cant 'feel' them at all. My mind trails off and before I know it im thinking about other things than the meditation im doing at the time.

This is very common for a few reasons. One, as someone not used to meditating - which is the case for many people coming to JoS - it's simply harder for the mind to focus and "get used" to what you're doing. It's similar to taking a drug where the body has to get accustomed to it for a few weeks before it actually starts doing the things it was prescribed to you for. Secondly, the enemy does not want you to meditate, ever. So they will play on any weaknesses you may have to discourage you and make it harder, whether that be difficulty in focusing, having doubts as to whether or not the meditations are even working, so on and so forth.

The key to this problem, in addition to the standard aura cleaning and AoP, both of which make it easier for you to withstand enemy attacks, is void meditation. It can be quite difficult and frustrating to do at first, since you are quite literally training your mind to focus and silence thoughts that naturally want to creep into your brain, but simply remember that all things are difficult to do when you start, from exercising to playing an instrument, and this is no exception. If you can do literally any other task or chore in life, you can do void meditation and become adept at it. Such will help you in focusing on your current meditation(s) so you can do them more effectively.

I think I don't put enough effort into it, or Im just not taking it serious enough. Ive had a lot of positive feelings though. Ive felt my third eye a lot. I think its open but my overall astral senses aren't strong enough to pick up on the astral yet.

It's at this point that I must ask how often you meditate and have done these meditations, and how many. Did you just do each one for the amount of days listed for each chakra, then move on to the next until you came down to the base? Did you do them multiple times before moving onto the next?

It's all very individual given each Satanist is coming here with different experiences in their past lives, different strengths and weaknesses and so on, but some chakras are harder to open than others. I, personally, have struggled with opening my throat chakra, and have done the meditation for it three times now. It's at this point that I can feel it, even now as I'm typing this, whenever I want, like a soft lump building in my throat, but it took more work than I anticipated to get to this point. Such very well could be the case for you as well. I imagine, if you're feeling your third eye which is a great and positive indication that you are doing the meditations correctly, that your next step is the sixth chakra. I would say that you should do the meditation for this repeatedly until you actually start feeling something. Space it out about a week as is recommended, since these are powerful meditations and you don't wanna push yourself beyond what is comfortable, but by repeatedly focusing on a chakra, empowering and cleaning it, affirming that it is open and active, you should soon see results.

For me, personally, empowering my pineal gland helped quite a bit in being able to focus on my sixth chakra, to the point where I could feel both of them simultaneously and describe the difference in how they felt. When you're ready, you may consider doing that meditation as well: http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpent ... ation.html

One of the biggest problems im having is I don't really think that Satan actually accepts me, and my attempts to contact and talk with demons in every way ive tried have failed. I don't know why I was led to JoS only to be left alone and ignored like this. I know that Satan and the Demons are busy and things, but after 5 years of no contact, it feels like they don't really care.

I remember a time in which a boy whom I thought was cute was interested in spirituality, and we got to talking and he became very interested in Satanism, believing that he had had experiences throughout his life in which he was protected or guided in some way, and that this very well could have been Satan and/or His Demons. As we talked, he continued to have little signs about shit that, hey, could be coincidences, but maybe just maybe not. I was growing rather despondent as this was all during talks of him having crushes on other guys, and such was hurtful for me even though I did my best to maintain maturity and help this fellow who was both coming to Satanism and a crush of mine. It got to a point that I became rather angry, feeling rejected and abandoned by the Gods. Not only was this an emotionally difficult thing for me to deal with in its own right, but feeling like I was just getting shafted whilst this yet-to-be-dedicated dude was getting signs and hope for being with his crush, it made me very bitter.

The reason I bring this up is because I realized, in the long run, that such was necessary and that the Gods never truly forgot about me or anyone who is truly committed to advancing themselves and the cause of Satan. I simply could not see it at the time - but they could, and their insight trumps mine 100% of the time. It made me increasingly aware of the fact that there have been a number of scenarios I've been in where shit could have ended a lot worse for me, but didn't. There's likely many more that I don't even know about because whatever guidance I received from Satan and the Gods prevented me from getting into that situation in the first place.

The reason you're not really receiving any contact - or, more accurately, not perceiving the contact - is not only because they are busy. You are still developing spiritually; only your third eye is open, and even then, as you already know, that's not enough. I can assure you that the Gods have heard every attempt you've made, and whether or not you're open enough to perceive and realize this, they've been there. It should be stressed at this point that actual communication with the Gods is a huge feat, not something that can be achieved quickly. I understand that you've been trying for five years, but I myself have been a Satanist now for almost eight, and due to my own problems and failures I'm nowhere near where I should be. You're certainly not alone in this struggle and shouldn't let that make you feel like you've somehow been excluded from the Rodzina Szatana whilst the rest are advancing and making contact with their GDs and other Gods. Hell, I still don't know who mine is, and browsing through Zola's artwork and the list of Gods on JoS as many recommend has not helped. It's something that'll just have to happen when I get off my ass and make it happen, and that's up to me.

The years feel like there passing by so fast, and I cant escape the poverty ive lived in, and ive put so much power into attracting money to myself, but it seems to not work at all. I need help in the worst way. Before you guys say anything about the dedication ritual on the site, ive already done it years ago. As a matter of fact ive did it twice, because I told Satan one day that I wanted to start over and try to do things right. I don't know why I feel so left out and Ignored. Ive never asked the gods for money or anything like that. Ive always tried to do money meditations and things myself, but I just wish they would show me the way out of this negative life. Ive tried my best at the meditations but I feel like im not getting anywhere with them.

I've actually done the dedication ritual again for that same reason, truthfully. I wanted a "restart" so-to-speak since I spent so many years in a non-Satanic haze, achieving little to nothing.

It's important at this point to note that the enemy loves to make Satanists feel isolated and left out, whether that be by the Gods, by other Satanists, or, as it is more often than not, both. So whenever you have those feelings and they know about it, they will actively seek to amplify it to discourage you that much more. That's why knowing that such is not true and that the enemy is full of putrid shit, and the righteous anger you will likely feel as a result, can and will be a useful tool in defeating such feelings.

One thing that held me back for a bit of time was thinking that I needed to be in a full-fledged, deep ass trance in order to do meditations effectively. So I never really bothered trying to open my sixth chakra or empower my pineal gland, as I thought it would be near-futile to try unless I was in a trance. But, entering a trance was difficult for me as a spiritually unevolved person, and I never achieved such. To this day I can only really manage light trances, but I can say that it became so much easier to accomplish this once I actually started working on my pineal gland and my chakras. The inner calm and inherent, restoring properties of such just made it easier. I bring this up in preparation for this question: How do you meditate? What have you been doing and for how long? It may be time to look at your meditation routine and ask yourself, if this is genuinely not working, what can I do differently? More experienced members can likely help you there if you share your routine, give you tips and pointers and the like.

It is because you are still in a novice state, with your chakras not empowered and your soul not being as strong as it can be, that the money meditations you are doing are not working. There are other factors too, of course, such as timing, but the strength of your soul is the most critical factor. This is one of those "crawl before you walk, walk before you run" sort of scenarios. You should prioritize advancing your spiritual strength, the strength of your soul, before you start using that strength to achieve something tangible.

I told Satan a long time ago that I wanted to be a soldier and fight for him, but recently ive really had a lot of doubts and worries and ive been slacking off the final RTR because of it. A lot of times I wonder if this is actually real or is it just all a joke.

Honestly, I think a good number of people have this happen to them at least once in this journey. After all, we're all coming from a normie world where magic is seen as ludicrous, just as the enemy wants for us. Prior to 2011, I don't think I ever imagined myself actually believing in things like telekinesis and healing magic and curses and communicating with spiritual beings and whatnot, even though I wished for such to be true my entire life. Satan sees the world we're coming from and understands that it can take a lot of work to cleanse ourselves of harmful thinking and incorrect ideas about how the universe works.

When you have these doubts, there are a number of different things you can do. Search your memories for the positive experiences you've had; you may not think you've had a lot, but I have a suspicion that there are things that will come to mind that will remind you that you are being looked after and that you are cared for, and such experiences will only increase as you maintain a daily meditation schedule. Come here and browse the forums more often; many times I'll have an experience, and then without ever talking about it, people here are saying they've had the same thing happen. Like a time when HML/FlamingRedRose mentioned she often felt this strong compulsion to spin around and move whilst performing the Final RTR, and another member chimed in to say they've experienced exactly that. And there I am reading this, knowing I've had the exact same experience, exactly the way they described it. It's not like some fucker got into my head, gathered this information about me, then sold it to JoS for them to plant here. We're having such experiences because it is working. And you'll find countless examples of members telling each other how they've had the exact same thing happen to them, independent of each other. Things that are too specific, too well-timed, and too numerous to be mere coincidences as your doubt may try to dismiss them as.

And on the subject of the Final RTR, of course, do the RTR. It's not only beneficial for the entirety of Humanity, it personally helps you as well. Gets rid of Jewish curses, liberates your soul, gets you pumped and zealous as fuck - at least for me. As you continue to do it, you'll likely find that it will help you open and focus on your chakras, and you'll be that much closer to using the strength of your soul to fix things in your life and improve your situation.

Hey, they are with you. They can hear you and see. Trust me, you are just aren't open enough to them. Actually, with me is Amon Ra righ now, idk know is he really your guardian as well and I don't want to know that, because that is something between you two that you have to resolve if it's really the case but he did encourage me to open this post and to say you something tho. I think that you should try with meditations more and try to open yourself enough. Don't obsess much about finding your guardian right now because you clearly are missing a lot of sings, but your guardian is guiding you and protecting you always, as long as you are doing you meditations and warfare.

Tbh, I was just like you at the beggining. You remind me a lot of old me...I remember all the crying and rage because I felt alone all the time. The key is to become good to yourself before you can truly let others to reach you in a good way. Punish yourself by being good to yourself, do some workout, some meditations or go study something.And also, try let the guilt and anger go. With peaceful heart comes peaceful mind. You have to work on your emotions along with doing meditations . Stick to your meditations. Say to yourself that you have to do it somehow and don't even think about it. Even when it's hard don't think about how it's hard. Learn to just do things.Always try to calm yourself down and try to be positive. If you feel that something is really bothering you don't hesistate to clean yourself ( sometimes I put my hand on something that seems dirty and imagine how white energy from my palm is going to the dirty place and how it's cleaning everything). Do void, practice it often (it can be frustrating but keep practicing).You can also calm yourself and your mind with a blue color or Demonic blue energy. Just don't give up.

I am meditating for about 3 years daily now and I have opened all of my chakras, my astral senses are almost perfect now and my ida and pingala have united. Dude I'm no longer human, even supernatural powers have awakened within me. Just 3 years of patiently meditating.

You have strong binding placed on your second chakra just so you know. I can literaly see it from here. That binding is bringing you fears, insecurities and bad luck in love life.And maaan how your energy is similar to mine xD you have no idea. You have such a power in your heart, I know you can success and be powerful. Be nice to yourself and never give up on this path. This is where you belong.

Azorm wrote:Hey, they are with you. They can hear you and see. Trust me, you are just aren't open enough to them. Actually, with me is Amon Ra righ now, idk know is he really your guardian as well and I don't want to know that, because that is something between you two that you have to resolve if it's really the case but he did encourage me to open this post and to say you something tho. I think that you should try with meditations more and try to open yourself enough. Don't obsess much about finding your guardian right now because you clearly are missing a lot of sings, but your guardian is guiding you and protecting you always, as long as you are doing you meditations and warfare.

Tbh, I was just like you at the beggining. You remind me a lot of old me...I remember all the crying and rage because I felt alone all the time. The key is to become good to yourself before you can truly let others to reach you in a good way. Punish yourself by being good to yourself, do some workout, some meditations or go study something.And also, try let the guilt and anger go. With peaceful heart comes peaceful mind. You have to work on your emotions along with doing meditations . Stick to your meditations. Say to yourself that you have to do it somehow and don't even think about it. Even when it's hard don't think about how it's hard. Learn to just do things.Always try to calm yourself down and try to be positive. If you feel that something is really bothering you don't hesistate to clean yourself ( sometimes I put my hand on something that seems dirty and imagine how white energy from my palm is going to the dirty place and how it's cleaning everything). Do void, practice it often (it can be frustrating but keep practicing).You can also calm yourself and your mind with a blue color or Demonic blue energy. Just don't give up.

I am meditating for about 3 years daily now and I have opened all of my chakras, my astral senses are almost perfect now and my ida and pingala have united. Dude I'm no longer human, even supernatural powers have awakened within me. Just 3 years of patiently meditating.

You have strong binding placed on your second chakra just so you know. I can literaly see it from here. That binding is bringing you fears, insecurities and bad luck in love life.And maaan how your energy is similar to mine xD you have no idea. You have such a power in your heart, I know you can success and be powerful. Be nice to yourself and never give up on this path. This is where you belong.

Its pretty cool that Amon Ra wanted you to check this out and reply, and I am well aware of the shape my sacral chakra is in right now. I figured that out by looking into my birth chart, and I can also tell by just the way I am.If you picked up on how my sacral chakra was, then you probably also felt that I have a lot of anger inside me too. Its from a life time of loneliness and frustration, and it also makes me seem like an asshole to people around me. But in truth im not a bad person, I just cant get past how life has treated me up until this point, and I cant let who I really am shine. I feel a lot of empathy for animals and other people and im a really benevolent person, but after a life of dealing with all the stress in my personal and home life, its really hard to focus on that part of me anymore.I recently started using Suryae on my aura and Ive also been trying out a munka working, and id say its starting to work a little. I do feel a little better.Id better start working on my sacral chakra a lot more. Ive barely tried to do anything with it over the years, ive mostly worked on my solar plexus. I feel like my solar plexus chakra is pretty strong, and so is my crown, since ive worked on them a lot and also my Sun and Jupiter in my natal chart where already strong to begin with in their home and exalted signs.I started a mars square last Tuesday, since it was the last Tuesday to have a chance to start one before mars enters Taurus. The moon was also in Taurus when I started, so I guess that should be pretty helpful for a permanent working. I guess i'll just have to see how it goes. I wish mars wasn't entering Taurus because id like to use the mars mantra by itself on my sacral chakra after im finished doing the square.Anyways thanks for the reply it was really helpful and helped me get rid of some of the doubt ive been having. Ive had that common issue that most of us had where enemy entities try to make us think that we are jewish. Ive had that attack on me a lot and its horrible to think something like that and it only adds to the loneliness and depression. Ive had that worry for a long time and I started to think I was, and it was why the gods haven't reached out to me yet and it was an awful feeling. I hope none of you have to go through the same shit that I have, but I know theres probably other Satanists out there that are probably in a lot worse state than im in and I know that im not the only one that goes through this kind of shit, so i'll just ignore all the attacks and attempts to push me away from Satan and keep trying my best.

Azorm wrote:Hey, they are with you. They can hear you and see. Trust me, you are just aren't open enough to them. Actually, with me is Amon Ra righ now, idk know is he really your guardian as well and I don't want to know that, because that is something between you two that you have to resolve if it's really the case but he did encourage me to open this post and to say you something tho. I think that you should try with meditations more and try to open yourself enough. Don't obsess much about finding your guardian right now because you clearly are missing a lot of sings, but your guardian is guiding you and protecting you always, as long as you are doing you meditations and warfare.

Tbh, I was just like you at the beggining. You remind me a lot of old me...I remember all the crying and rage because I felt alone all the time. The key is to become good to yourself before you can truly let others to reach you in a good way. Punish yourself by being good to yourself, do some workout, some meditations or go study something.And also, try let the guilt and anger go. With peaceful heart comes peaceful mind. You have to work on your emotions along with doing meditations . Stick to your meditations. Say to yourself that you have to do it somehow and don't even think about it. Even when it's hard don't think about how it's hard. Learn to just do things.Always try to calm yourself down and try to be positive. If you feel that something is really bothering you don't hesistate to clean yourself ( sometimes I put my hand on something that seems dirty and imagine how white energy from my palm is going to the dirty place and how it's cleaning everything). Do void, practice it often (it can be frustrating but keep practicing).You can also calm yourself and your mind with a blue color or Demonic blue energy. Just don't give up.

I am meditating for about 3 years daily now and I have opened all of my chakras, my astral senses are almost perfect now and my ida and pingala have united. Dude I'm no longer human, even supernatural powers have awakened within me. Just 3 years of patiently meditating.

You have strong binding placed on your second chakra just so you know. I can literaly see it from here. That binding is bringing you fears, insecurities and bad luck in love life.And maaan how your energy is similar to mine xD you have no idea. You have such a power in your heart, I know you can success and be powerful. Be nice to yourself and never give up on this path. This is where you belong.

Its pretty cool that Amon Ra wanted you to check this out and reply, and I am well aware of the shape my sacral chakra is in right now. I figured that out by looking into my birth chart, and I can also tell by just the way I am.If you picked up on how my sacral chakra was, then you probably also felt that I have a lot of anger inside me too. Its from a life time of loneliness and frustration, and it also makes me seem like an asshole to people around me. But in truth im not a bad person, I just cant get past how life has treated me up until this point, and I cant let who I really am shine. I feel a lot of empathy for animals and other people and im a really benevolent person, but after a life of dealing with all the stress in my personal and home life, its really hard to focus on that part of me anymore.I recently started using Suryae on my aura and Ive also been trying out a munka working, and id say its starting to work a little. I do feel a little better.Id better start working on my sacral chakra a lot more. Ive barely tried to do anything with it over the years, ive mostly worked on my solar plexus. I feel like my solar plexus chakra is pretty strong, and so is my crown, since ive worked on them a lot and also my Sun and Jupiter in my natal chart where already strong to begin with in their home and exalted signs.I started a mars square last Tuesday, since it was the last Tuesday to have a chance to start one before mars enters Taurus. The moon was also in Taurus when I started, so I guess that should be pretty helpful for a permanent working. I guess i'll just have to see how it goes. I wish mars wasn't entering Taurus because id like to use the mars mantra by itself on my sacral chakra after im finished doing the square.Anyways thanks for the reply it was really helpful and helped me get rid of some of the doubt ive been having. Ive had that common issue that most of us had where enemy entities try to make us think that we are jewish. Ive had that attack on me a lot and its horrible to think something like that and it only adds to the loneliness and depression. Ive had that worry for a long time and I started to think I was, and it was why the gods haven't reached out to me yet and it was an awful feeling. I hope none of you have to go through the same shit that I have, but I know theres probably other Satanists out there that are probably in a lot worse state than im in and I know that im not the only one that goes through this kind of shit, so i'll just ignore all the attacks and attempts to push me away from Satan and keep trying my best.

Leave your past behind. Don't think so much about it. Ok?Just leave it. When you are focusing on those bad stuff you are bringing similar stuff again and you can't move on and have something better. Also stop overthinking and saying to yourself negative things ( simple negative few words if we are repeating daily can ruin our mindset and emotions).

About the enemy..enemy loves to attack where it hurts the most. They usually are trying to find something that is already dirty and are trying to manipunate us with this dirt and to destroy us even more.

I checked on you yesterday just so you know. I had to go somewhere so I didn't had time to reply to you. I can mental project and I can track down energy so I took a look. There was a huge white ball of light on your right side, about 30-35 centimeters far from your arm and thin protective layer on you of the same energy. The energy belonged to your main guardian. Sometimes they leave some of their energy like that. I think it's easier for them to detect things then, so if anything bad happens they can rush to us immediatelly. Your guardian reacted to my presence and spoke up to me. You have one really nice Guardian but I want you to find your GD alone. I also noticed you were really into those things in your past lives so this is all natural for you. And I'm worried a little bit because you will have an egoistic phase in this life it seems, which can be dangerous sometimes.

Another thing is ..I immediately could notice big change on your whole energy, you have improved. Congrats You seems to be a little bit cleaner and more balanced. Your energy feels like fire and is much more sexual and stronger. Literally can hear the fire and something like rumbling, like little earthquake, some low pitched sound. When we empower the solar plexus or have it naturally strong but when there is a strong binding and dirt on our sacral chakra we can end up having severe hang ups. Better clean that shit soon.I can help you too, I have worked with others already so if your Guardian lets me clean you from some nasty shits sometimes I would gladly do it. So if you want to we can be friends and at least talk sometimes.

Azorm wrote:Hey, they are with you. They can hear you and see. Trust me, you are just aren't open enough to them. Actually, with me is Amon Ra righ now, idk know is he really your guardian as well and I don't want to know that, because that is something between you two that you have to resolve if it's really the case but he did encourage me to open this post and to say you something tho. I think that you should try with meditations more and try to open yourself enough. Don't obsess much about finding your guardian right now because you clearly are missing a lot of sings, but your guardian is guiding you and protecting you always, as long as you are doing you meditations and warfare.

Tbh, I was just like you at the beggining. You remind me a lot of old me...I remember all the crying and rage because I felt alone all the time. The key is to become good to yourself before you can truly let others to reach you in a good way. Punish yourself by being good to yourself, do some workout, some meditations or go study something.And also, try let the guilt and anger go. With peaceful heart comes peaceful mind. You have to work on your emotions along with doing meditations . Stick to your meditations. Say to yourself that you have to do it somehow and don't even think about it. Even when it's hard don't think about how it's hard. Learn to just do things.Always try to calm yourself down and try to be positive. If you feel that something is really bothering you don't hesistate to clean yourself ( sometimes I put my hand on something that seems dirty and imagine how white energy from my palm is going to the dirty place and how it's cleaning everything). Do void, practice it often (it can be frustrating but keep practicing).You can also calm yourself and your mind with a blue color or Demonic blue energy. Just don't give up.

I am meditating for about 3 years daily now and I have opened all of my chakras, my astral senses are almost perfect now and my ida and pingala have united. Dude I'm no longer human, even supernatural powers have awakened within me. Just 3 years of patiently meditating.

You have strong binding placed on your second chakra just so you know. I can literaly see it from here. That binding is bringing you fears, insecurities and bad luck in love life.And maaan how your energy is similar to mine xD you have no idea. You have such a power in your heart, I know you can success and be powerful. Be nice to yourself and never give up on this path. This is where you belong.

Its pretty cool that Amon Ra wanted you to check this out and reply, and I am well aware of the shape my sacral chakra is in right now. I figured that out by looking into my birth chart, and I can also tell by just the way I am.If you picked up on how my sacral chakra was, then you probably also felt that I have a lot of anger inside me too. Its from a life time of loneliness and frustration, and it also makes me seem like an asshole to people around me. But in truth im not a bad person, I just cant get past how life has treated me up until this point, and I cant let who I really am shine. I feel a lot of empathy for animals and other people and im a really benevolent person, but after a life of dealing with all the stress in my personal and home life, its really hard to focus on that part of me anymore.I recently started using Suryae on my aura and Ive also been trying out a munka working, and id say its starting to work a little. I do feel a little better.Id better start working on my sacral chakra a lot more. Ive barely tried to do anything with it over the years, ive mostly worked on my solar plexus. I feel like my solar plexus chakra is pretty strong, and so is my crown, since ive worked on them a lot and also my Sun and Jupiter in my natal chart where already strong to begin with in their home and exalted signs.I started a mars square last Tuesday, since it was the last Tuesday to have a chance to start one before mars enters Taurus. The moon was also in Taurus when I started, so I guess that should be pretty helpful for a permanent working. I guess i'll just have to see how it goes. I wish mars wasn't entering Taurus because id like to use the mars mantra by itself on my sacral chakra after im finished doing the square.Anyways thanks for the reply it was really helpful and helped me get rid of some of the doubt ive been having. Ive had that common issue that most of us had where enemy entities try to make us think that we are jewish. Ive had that attack on me a lot and its horrible to think something like that and it only adds to the loneliness and depression. Ive had that worry for a long time and I started to think I was, and it was why the gods haven't reached out to me yet and it was an awful feeling. I hope none of you have to go through the same shit that I have, but I know theres probably other Satanists out there that are probably in a lot worse state than im in and I know that im not the only one that goes through this kind of shit, so i'll just ignore all the attacks and attempts to push me away from Satan and keep trying my best.

Leave your past behind. Don't think so much about it. Ok?Just leave it. When you are focusing on those bad stuff you are bringing similar stuff again and you can't move on and have something better. Also stop overthinking and saying to yourself negative things ( simple negative few words if we are repeating daily can ruin our mindset and emotions).

About the enemy..enemy loves to attack where it hurts the most. They usually are trying to find something that is already dirty and are trying to manipunate us with this dirt and to destroy us even more.

I checked on you yesterday just so you know. I had to go somewhere so I didn't had time to reply to you. I can mental project and I can track down energy so I took a look. There was a huge white ball of light on your right side, about 30-35 centimeters far from your arm and thin protective layer on you of the same energy. The energy belonged to your main guardian. Sometimes they leave some of their energy like that. I think it's easier for them to detect things then, so if anything bad happens they can rush to us immediatelly. Your guardian reacted to my presence and spoke up to me. You have one really nice Guardian but I want you to find your GD alone. I also noticed you were really into those things in your past lives so this is all natural for you. And I'm worried a little bit because you will have an egoistic phase in this life it seems, which can be dangerous sometimes.

Another thing is ..I immediately could notice big change on your whole energy, you have improved. Congrats You seems to be a little bit cleaner and more balanced. Your energy feels like fire and is much more sexual and stronger. Literally can hear the fire and something like rumbling, like little earthquake, some low pitched sound. When we empower the solar plexus or have it naturally strong but when there is a strong binding and dirt on our sacral chakra we can end up having severe hang ups. Better clean that shit soon.I can help you too, I have worked with others already so if your Guardian lets me clean you from some nasty shits sometimes I would gladly do it. So if you want to we can be friends and at least talk sometimes.

Awesome, and yea after you replied the first time, it really helped me out and helped get a lot of the doubt that I had, I've always worried that I was jewish but now I know im not and it really helped me snap in line. I just want to ask if my guardian is male or female, or one of the three I mentioned, that's all I want to know.And yea my energy feels cleaner and a lot more sexual probably because of the mars square I started a few days ago. I have a bad mars in my birth chart and it has caused me to have low confidence and self esteem when it comes to sex and relationships. Its caused me to not have that go-get-her attitude that most men have. It feels really weird and awkward meditating on the mars energy and meditating on sexual energy because that part of me has been damaged over the years and through past lives. But the weird thing is that I have other planets in my chart that cause me to think of sex a lot and because I don't try to find a partner or have a good sexual outlet, its causing a lot more problems. I'll start to work on my sacral chakra in a few days, mainly because I have a bunch of other different meditations and things I do and I don't want to fill my day up and overload myself with tons of different meditations and workings. Like I said I recently started a munka working and im 22 days into it. Im trying to free myself from Saturns negative energy and influence in my life, since Saturn is one of the main reasons why im in poverty and not able to find a sexual partner. I have an 8th house Saturn and its been brutal on me.And I also want to thank you again for replying and helping me out. You've really been a big help and its opened my eyes a lot more to what I need to do with myself. I knew my sacral chakra was badly damaged, but I never really did anything with it. You've got me to start thinking about working on it a lot more and understand the seriousness of it, and i'll eventually get around to it.

You are welcome.I'm glad that I have helped. We have a lot in common just so you know. Let us talk in private please. Message me on protonmail - azorm666

Awesome, and yea after you replied the first time, it really helped me out and helped get a lot of the doubt that I had, I've always worried that I was jewish but now I know im not and it really helped me snap in line.

Azorm wrote:You are welcome.I'm glad that I have helped. We have a lot in common just so you know. Let us talk in private please. Message me on protonmail - azorm666

Awesome, and yea after you replied the first time, it really helped me out and helped get a lot of the doubt that I had, I've always worried that I was jewish but now I know im not and it really helped me snap in line.

Yo I made a protonmail account if you want to talk, I have no clue how it works though lol, ive never used protonmail. Ive always used gmail. Suryae @ protonmail.com Probably not the best idea to post it on the forums, but im only going to use it to chat with you and nothing else. Toss me an email when you feel like it.I also cant believe the name Suryae wasn't taken