Jenny Bertram was a graduate student in the Master’s of Divinity program at Naropa University emphasizing in Buddhist Chaplaincy and Meditation instruction. She originally intended to be a Hospice Chaplain but was strongly pulled into prison ministry when she met Gary Allen at an internship fair on campus. As a volunteer with Ratna Peace Initiative, she began assisting with meditation and dharma classes in correctional facilities, as well as correcting coursework through correspondence for Ratna. Jenny has a Masters in Chinese Medicine and is a Nationally Certified Diplomate of Oriental Medicine. She devoted herself to prison work and teaching dharma as she transitioned from clinical practitioner to teacher. Jenny was thrilled to share her unfolding experience with teaching meditation as a newcomer to the prison community, and wrote the following entries as she made visits as a volunteer to a private prison in Hudson, Colorado.

My Gift for the Evening

Originally posted on January 15, 2013

My latest visit to prison was a notable one. Particularly, it was a time to say good-bye to the regular students and the chaplain for a short while; this was my last visit until the upcoming semester ends. My teacher, Lama Tenpa, recently requested that I harness my mind at this time and temporarily pull back from all my volunteer work and my private acupuncture practice to focus on my own meditation practice, as well as my graduate studies. On my last night in prison, I wondered who was going to attend the class and what conversation would transpire. Driving down the prison road, Gary asked me if I was prepared to teach the guys about the twelve links of interdependence, describing the process of karma. With an adamant “No,” I replied that I felt too vulnerable and spacious. “Let’s see what arises, Gary,” and there it was, the theme of the evening, space. [Read more…]

We’ve been at work on our mindfulness course for inmates in solitary confinement. Below is the introductory section from the short manual we’ve put together as a quick access to learning how to meditate and work with your mind in solitary. We’re also writing a much longer, much more detailed book on mindfulness–how to do sitting meditation, how to recognize confused projections of thought and emotion, how to work with intense emotions like fear, desire, and anger, and how to cultivate an attitude of kindness. We will offer study questions, as well as mindfulness and contemplation practices to help inmates explore their consciousness, looking at the causes of confusion and suffering, and to develop a discipline of sanity in working with their minds.

PRACTICING MINDFULNESS IN SOLITARY CONFINEMENT

To be constricted in a tight space within four walls with nowhere to go, no one to talk to, and little to do all day creates a situation for many inmates of claustrophobia and emotional stress, just as it would for most people if you put them in that situation. In Ad-Seg, inmates often find themselves caught up in the wildness of their minds, thinking obsessively, counting the cracks in the floor over and over, growing desperate, starting to shout, even hallucinating or hearing voices that aren’t there—their minds go off the rails and they feel helpless to stop them.
This is indeed a very intensified situation in which to face your mind. There’s no entertainment, no distraction, no activities, just your body and your thought process in a small room with no way out.
But this is where mindfulness and sitting meditation can be immensely useful. If you’ve never tried to deal with your thoughts before or looked carefully at what goes on in your mind, now’s your chance. It’s a challenging, powerful thing to undertake, but it can be done, and it leads to a place of knowing how to develop peacefulness, mental stability, and insight into your own psychology. [Read more…]

This inmate is in solitary confinement. He was sent to prison at 17 years old and is now 28. He’s been told by doctors that he’s likely dying, and probably has AIDS from a dirty needle. He is, nevertheless, now a serious dharma practitioner at this point facing what could be the end of his days.

“Thank you for your thoughts and guidance at this uncertain time for me. It is a breath of fresh air because honestly I was so shocked I didn’t know what to do. I’m scared but not of death itself, more so afraid of not realizing the deathless and being subjected to this terrible cycle over again. I have created so much bad karma in this very short time I’ve been here, and I’m afraid of what it may imply for the future lives I may have to live through.

I mean I look at this life and all the pain and suffering I’ve seen and had to go through. My karma was so bad I lasted 17 years in society, and those 17 years were not that great either. I came to prison a kid and immediately became the target for nightmarish kinds of thoughts and plots of really sick and overly violent adult men. Guys were intensely lusting and plotting to rape me, extort me, hurt me/kill me or take any advantage of me if they could. I was so scared I became really hardened; I had to become an apex predator my first 5 minutes in prison or I’d never survive what lay ahead.

Like psychological trauma, moral injury is a construct that describes extreme and unprecedented life experience including the harmful aftermath of exposure to such events. Events are considered morally injurious if they “transgress deeply held moral beliefs and expectations.” Thus, the key precondition for moral injury is an act of transgression which shatters moral and ethical expectations that are rooted in religious or spiritual beliefs, or culture-based, organizational, and group-based rules about fairness, the value of life, and so forth.

Moral injury in war

In the context of war, moral injuries may stem from direct participation in acts of combat, such as killing or harming others, or indirect acts, such as witnessing death or dying, failing to prevent immoral acts of others, or giving or receiving orders that are perceived as gross moral violations. The act may have been carried out by an individual or a group, through a decision made individually or as a response to orders given by leaders …

What is the aftermath of moral injury?

In terms of the aftermath of moral injuries, transgressive acts may result in highly aversive and haunting states of inner conflict and turmoil. Emotional responses may include:

Far from being a last-resort measure reserved for the “worst of the worst,” solitary confinement has become a control strategy of first resort in many prisons and jails. Today, incarcerated men and women can be placed in complete isolation for months or years not only for violent acts but for possessing contraband, testing positive for drug use, ignoring orders, or using profanity. Thousands of prisoners are held in indefinite solitary confinement because they have been named as gang members by other prisoners who are rewarded for the information. Others have ended up in solitary because they have untreated mental illnesses, are children in need of “protection,” are gay or transgender, are Muslim, have unsavory political beliefs, or report rape or abuse by prison officials. Read More from SolitaryWatch: http://solitarywatch.com/facts/faq/

The three primary experiences of combat, as I understood them to be, are: fear, killing and love. Fear is obvious, and there’s obviously some state of mind connected with killing, but there’s also something you could loosely call love. If you’re willing to die for someone, its clearly for love, and it’s the core reason that men miss war –many of them really, really do miss it.

Interviewer: Veterans often feel a sense of alienation when they return home. What’s going on here?

Well, I think we’re a completely alienated society because most of us don’t have the experience of incredible closeness that soldiers are allowed to enjoy. Read more: Why Its so Hard to Come Home from War

Shambhala Publications has just published a new collection of Chogyam Trungpa’s talks, edited by Carolyn Rose Gimian.

Mindfulness in Action: Making Friends with Yourself Through Friendliness and Everyday Awareness

One example that sticks out, from a chapter discussing the skandhas, the construction of our egos or our self-identity, Trungpa Rinpoche says, “Our individuality is really a heap or a pile of disappointment, hope, fear, and millions and billions and trillions of other things. All these little fragments put together are what we call our self and our life. Our pride of self-existence or sense of being is by no means one entity. It is a heap, a pile of stuff. It has some similarities to a pile of garbage. When we refer to something as garbage, we are speaking not about one thing but about a collection of many different things that make up the garbage-ness. All these elements are collected and mixes with one another. As they decay, they become extremely smelly. What we call our selves or our ego is similarly an amalgam of many things put together.” (p. 131)

There is a beautiful emphasis in the beginning of the book on gentleness and friendliness. The first section is really beautiful, and has a strong emphasis on being kind, while at the same time being genuine and honest with ourselves. During the entire meditation process, from when we even sit down to the end, there is a sense of appreciation for our world and our environment. This entire process starts with a genuine cultivation of a positive attitude towards ourselves.

What this book really excels in is expressing Chogyam Trungpa’s care and love for all of us. This is apparent on every page—he’s got nothing to gain in this, there’s no advertising, it’s almost as if he’s pleading with us not to rush and to be less aggressive. He can’t do it; only we can. Slow down, relax, and enjoy life and all its precious moments.

Why the current buzz about mindfulness in all sectors: military, health, education, corporate, criminal justice, arts, religion, family affairs? The scientific sector, particularly neuroscience, is studying mindfulness in depth.

Historically, it has been known for thousands of years as a crucial fundamental practice in most spiritual traditions. In our contemporary world, a new secular approach explores its potent impact on so many aspects of our individual lives. Present day studies acknowledge its profound benefit.

Do you think our culture, in which all sorts of secular disciplines are practiced under the name of entertainment like sports and music, even work, would ever embrace “naked” discipline on a grand scale? “Come on over on Sunday, have a beer and we’ll practice mindfulness!”