Tuesday, July 26, 2016

How the hell did Janet get pried out of NY writing contest results-AND A WINNER

I am back home in my beloved NYC, having met cows, writers, and Canadians. It was quite the adventure!

You guyz were up to your usual shenanigans with the contests. Entirely too many very good entries. I'm still cogitating about the final winner. There are some finalists to choose from. Let me know what you think.

Herewith the results:

Homage to one of my favorites, the story of Anastasia, the one who lived!
Erin Scruggs 11:56am Homage to DB Cooper one of the great mysteries of the 20th century!
RosannaM 12:17pm

Homage to one of the all time best SNL skits!
Melanie Sue Bowles 8:56am

Not quite a story but sufficiently creepy and so well written it really doesn't matter
Timothy Lowe 11:57am
Just Jan 12:48pm

Not quite a story but exquisite writing
Amy Schaefer 12:17pm Not quite a story but just wonderful!
Katie Loves Coffee 9:22pm

A bit of writerly revenge!
Sherry Howard 12:04pm

A little election commentary for us
Dena Pawling 12:09pm

Patricia Cox5:11pm wins the Punniest Story of the Contestwith her entry. Her prize is duct tape on her keyboard for a week!

Right to the jeweler, but need a loan. 15% APR. Yikes. Still worth it.

Left at the altar.

Right in the middle of the ceremony.

Left beleaguered by broken dreams.

Right to the bottom of a bottle.

Left my will to live behind.

Right where she stomped it out.

Left with one option – cowardice.

Right into traffic.

Our beloved Steve Forti, experimenting with form again. I love the symmetry here, and the rhythm. Notice the brilliant use of sentence fragments. Right in the middle of the ceremony. Right where she stomped it out.

Of course this is brilliant, Steve Forti wrote it.

french sojourn 12:54pm

I watched her from the shadows in a bush league, roadhouse bar. She was searching for redemption the same way she viewed the world, from the bottom of a shot glass.

I knew her, a cowed and broken woman. Her faith had rewarded her with a stillborn, a daughter that lived for five minutes, and a son missing in some foreign sandbox.

I tripped getting up and used my cane to balance myself. I wasn’t as spry as I used to be. I hobbled over.

“Excuse me,” I said to her.

She turned and froze.

“Don’t be so sad, Ma.”

Ohhhh! This just grabbed my heart. I love that the clues are there but it's not till the end that we realize what we read. Those two opening lines are an exquisite establishing shot.

Beth 1:13pm

“What’d you and him do for fun here, anyway? Trip cows?”

“It’s tip cows, and no. Watch the road. It should be right along here.”

“There?” He pointed at a sagging mailbox, much beleaguered by woodbine and baseball bats.

“That’s it.” The lane petered out after a mile. “Now we walk.”

Three arguments, two hours of digging, and one hornet’s nest later, they were prying the lid from a metal box.

"That's IT?" A basket appeared with a pop. "What are you? Queen of a starving country? A failing chef?"

She spoke around her chicken. "Oh no, pregnant with triplets."

This cracked me up. I love the description of Lucinda. And the idea of the ever-filled food basket
is perfect. This is fun and clever.

lizosisek 11:27pm

We count cows as we drive south, because it’s easier than counting our mistakes. We’ve played the blame game enough to be league MVPs. Why go down that road again?

We pass a billboard for a triple X store. Maybe…

No. Sex won’t fix five years of distance, regret and crippling grief our only glue. No matter how kinky it is, or how spry we are.

We pull into the cemetery. Visit separately with our children. We know the routine, though we haven’t signed the papers.

This is how our marriage ends – with separate mourning for everything we made together.

That opening line just drags you into that story with the force of a punch to the gut. That little bit of hope (Maybe...), self-squashed, is just heartbreaking. Do you see the homage to T.S. Eliot at the end? This is exquisite writing.

tell me later 3:41pm

I'd never met Donald in person, but there was no avoiding him on Twitter. He called us every name in the book: broads, cows, and a few more that would never make it into a kids' movie.

I could forgive what he said about me. What he said about my colleagues had to be punished.

So I called in a favor.

"Just cause him some trouble. Trip him on the sidewalk. Mess up his bedsheets. Pry his window open and wail whenever he so much as blinks."

"Got it," my invisible friend says.

"Thank you."

That will take the troll down, I'm positive.

After all, who's he gonna call? Not us.

I love this! It's hilarious and subtle. It requires the reader know about the new all-female Ghostbusters movie and the hilariously misogynistic response some gents have had to it ("it ruined my childhood," wailed one fella from his mom's basement Commodore 64)

Donnaeve 7:52pm

Away from Mama, she starts.

“Get away from me, you little prick.”

I think about tripping her while my fingers worry a cowlick. Hers are busy texting.

When a stranger’s car sidles up, I dare to speak, “That ain’t the school bus.”

She yanks my arm. “Shut up, moron. One word, you’ll regret it.”

She climbs in, and the car speeds down the road.

I consider her words, the outcome.

Mama’s worried.

Not me. I eat like a horse, sleep even better.

Bonus. Despite the police, those prying questions, my Little League game improves.

Not one word.

Definitely no regrets.

So, just so you know, I've met Donna in person, and she is a very nice, well-mannered southern lady of great decorum. Of course, you read her stories and you might not believe me, but it's true. This raises subtle to a whole new level. Do you get it?

For me, it's between Steve Forti and Donna. I agree with you about the rhythm, sentence fragments, and creative use of left and right in Steve's story, QOTKU. As for Donna... she might just clinch it for subtlety and elegance even with such a gritty theme. And she has been a finalist so many times, it's about time she won (again). And she's about to be a nytba, so what better way to promote her UPCOMING DEBUT than a prize for this exquisite show of literary skill?

As usual, the choice is tough with so many outstanding entries! Steve Forti's is a masterwork of form and rhythm, and I loved the sly wit of Beth's heist story, but it's French Sojurn who stole my heart and shattered it.

Never fails. I still get that little badump! of the heart when I find myself grouped in with such talented writers. And then I get another little badump! when I read QOTKU's take.

I'm excluding mine when I say it's doggone hard b/c each have their own special pizazz. I read one and go, ooooh, that one. Then I read the next, and I'm thinking, ah, maybe this. Then I read the next...and with that, glad I'm not you. Good to go to the "reiders" and let them decide.

I'm going for my run before it gets to heat stroke level outside. Heat indices today are between 105 and 108. I worry about my husband - who will be out in it.

I did not get Donna's, and my favorite was tell me later - the twist made me laugh. Steve Forti's was brilliant, but so depressing. I need to look at pictures of puppies, now. Or the one of the cat in a laundry basket snuggling with dozens of baby chicks.

One comment about lizosisek's, because it touches on several past discussions about setting and context....if this is supposed to be in VT, there are no billboards. VT banned billboards in the late sixties.

I noticed immediately (and sadly, it pulled me out of the story b/c I was confused), but I'm curious if anyone else noticed it? Not many people know VT well, so is it a case of the story being more important, b/c so few readers will know or care?

It's also interesting to me how the context of the story - a writing contest inspired by a trip to VT - defined the setting for me. The only textual clue is cows, and so many of the other finalists had VT references. If I had read the story somewhere else, I wouldn't have mentally placed it in VT (because of the billboards). Are there any context clues an author can control? (I think not many...)

Was the story intended to be in VT? Anyone else assume that? Any other thoughts on setting and context?

Long time reader, first time commenter--I'm from Vermont and I'm loving the theme! Sara Halle's is probably referencing the Cabot Cheese company--chedder, maple, and ice cream are the three big specialty foods in VT. Also a few years ago there *was* a heist involving the Quebec-ian maple reserves.

Rachel: I didn't read lizosisek's story as set in VT, and if lizo intended us to think VT, I missed that. Was it driving south and seeing cows that made you think VT? We have cows in NC (there's a field of them just down the road from us), and you can still drive south from them. Maybe lizo was thinking VT, but you can easily set it anywhere that has cows and a road heading south. This gets lizo off the hook nicely because instead of faulting lizo's story for having billboards in VT, you can just set her story in NH, or NC, or Carkoon!

Janet has said she likes stories where the reader brings information to the story that sheds a whole new light on it. The best stories of this kind work even without reader insight. In other words, one person reads the story and appreciate it as it is, but another person sees the verbal clues and understands it in a completely different way because of some knowledge or experience shared with the writer. That's the art of good storytelling of this kind. Can you enjoy GULLIVER'S TRAVELS without understanding the political and sociological messaging, or NARNIA without the Christian allegory? I'd say yes to both. That's what makes them universal and timeless.

Is that what you were asking about setting and context, Rachel? If not, oh well. Thanks for giving me an excuse to ramble. I'm sure everyone needed a nap... :)

Steve Forti's entry jumped out at me while I was reading them over the weekend. It'd get my vote, even though the last line echoes the second instead of the first, which drives some obsessive part of me absolutely crazy.

Hey there, Holly!! Welcome to the comments. :) I'm sure I don't need to tell you about all the resources available. If you've been reading for a long time, you know how things go around here. Thanks for your Vermontian insight. As Donna (stbnytba) said, I hope this isn't your last time commenting. :)

First, congrats to all the great entries! A lot of writing classes I've participated in have used constraints as a way to trigger the best writing. So I love it when someone (Steve Forti) uses the restraints Janet gave us (five words, 100 words) and adds more (left, right, and fragments). And Steve made it look effortless and natural.

That said, I'm forever amazed at the variety a contest triggers. We have an amazingly talented group of writers submitting flash here!

I can't pick one as "the best" but I did notice something that I wonder about. Steve's was listed first, and it stayed in my memory while I read all the others. So, in some way my brain picked his because nothing else bumped it out of the way. I wonder IRL how much that type of thing has an impact on an agent's choices, or if they learn to compartmentalize better than I did.

What a wonderful collection of stories. I didn't get Donna's story, but nothing new there. I often don't get the stories.

I love the cow tripping line and the Vermonty Python.

God, I wish someone would sic ghosts on the Don. He needs the sh!t scared out of him.

I'd vote for lizosisek, purely on sentimental terms. It hit home. For all his faults, two of the things that I greatly admired about my ex were a keen sense of humor and a great intellect. Well that and the bullrider butt. I'm an admirer of Wrangler patches.

For years we could talk about anything and everything. I'd always take along a lot of books on road trips and never read more than a page or two because we talked politics, history, agriculture, whatever crossed our minds. Usually it was history as both of us were history nuts. It was interesting to discuss in depth people and events with someone who had a quick mind. In addition, his father was born in 1890. He knew the history of New Mexico and Texas because he lived it. He drove cattle and worked the big ranches.

Somewhere along the line the communication gave way to subjugation. Death comes in many forms.

At one time I carefully made grave covers and flower arrangements for Mirinda several times a year. Now, I call Don twice a year and the extent of our conversation is, "Please take flowers to Mirinda."

I genuinely like every one of the finalists, which makes me feel particularly Midwestern. I should have an opinion, dangit! Instead I have 9 opinions. Steve Forti's stuck with me the most after yesterday's initial reading, and I admire the form so much. Lizosisek's is haunting and vivid as can be. Donna stbnytba's is one of my favorite-ever examples of the story in the white space. French sojourn's makes me want to fill in the missing years. Beth's stresses me out because I'm afraid the kids are going to destroy those stamps. Claire and Sara Halle make me very hungry and a little giggly.

I think my vote has to go to tell me later — it's clever and delightful and timely, and not murderous. A lot to fit in 100 words.

Weighing in from the West Coast, so I am rather late to the party. What a bunch of great entries! I was wowed by the form of Steve Forti's, and I think I would have to hand it to him just on the fact that all those left/rights counted in his word count, so he forced himself to work with even fewer words.

But I truly loved the Ghostbuster story---tell me later.

And Donnaeve with her sibling murder and not one word subtlety.

So good luck everybody. I think Janet is going to have to throw darts at little Post-It notes with all your entries in order to choose.

I love these contests because I always learn a ton - about style, literary references, or arcane facts. Who knew there was a famous stamp with an upside-down airplane? That's pretty damn cool.

Congratulations to all those mentioned, short-listers and finalists. Heck, congrats to all! Fellow writers, you are awesome. I'm honored to have made the list. Thank you, Janet, and thanks for your kind comments Megan V and julieweathers. You made my day!

I'm not sure why Wrangler became the go to brand for cowboys. You'd think the Levis would be. The little Jewish tailors came up with some revolutionary ideas regarding making jeans that really lasted for hard working gold miners.

Some 100-year-old Levis were found in a gold mine not long ago and are still in excellent shape.

Regardless, Wranglers became the cowboy jeans. That's a testament to what proper marketing can do.

Sherry,

We have an amazingly talented group of writers submitting flash here! --

Agreed.

I am always amazed at the stories. They are wonderful.

I love the cow in the sidecar. We used to have a cow who was broke to ride. Just saddle her up and be a real cowboy or cowgirl. Of course, there was a lot of getting bucked off on your head before she decided to be a saddle cow, but that's part of the fun.

Such fabulous writing... Congrats to all the finalists. I'm truly honored my story was among those mentioned. If being mentioned was a 3-d thing I'd hug it. Regarding the winner: I'm torn between Beth and Donna, leaning toward Donna. That's some powerful subtlety. Steve Forti, your comment "magically turn into steak and ice cream!" I LOL'd. Janet, thank you. I learn so much here.

Steve Forti: Cows may magically turn into steak and ice cream, but the ice cream stops once they turn into steak... :P

Rachel: I didn't automatically place the stories in Vermont. The ones mentioning cows and skies could just as easily have taken place here in Saskatchewan. Unfortunately, billboards are not banned here.

I'm between Brigid's and tell me later's. But then, I'm in the mood for humour today. Beth's had me shuddering - I've known too many people who didn't recognize what they had, and threw it out or gave it away.

Julie, it's right in the name: they wrangle - they wear Wranglers. My ex (often called Beloved Ex) was a mere Illinois cowboy. He actually did the cowpoking work, but being a Nordic Upper Midwesterner, he is not quite legit. Guys who say uff da don't quite pull of "Cowboy" quite the way the Marlboro Man did.

My brother, an archaeologist, last year found a barn FULL of probably seventy to eighty year old dungarees. He wanted to find some way to donate/conserve them. He did photograph them. http://dianelmajor.blogspot.com/2015/10/collection.html

"Cows may magically turn into steak and ice cream, but the ice cream stops once they turn into steak." BJ, I love this!!!!

I entirely missed this contest, and was bummed - family business made me miss the deadline. But I did post my own seven-league boots tale on my blog. Would adore anyone's thoughts. :)

I loved all the finalists, but feel that Claire's Ben and Jerry skit is appropriate for a contest inspired by a trip to Vermont! Congrats to everyone and thanks to Janet for the mention and the contest. Lots of great entries, as always!

When I read over all the entries Saturday, I knew you’d have your work cut out for you. It’s so hard to choose a favorite, because they’re amazing in such different ways. I love them all, but Steve Forti’s march to tragedy, Brigid’s hilarious fairy tale, lizosisek’s heartbreaker, and Donnaeve’s horrific play on karma stand out to me. I loved tell me later’s story, even before knowing about the movie. I’m honored to be in such company.

Good luck, Janet. Wow, look at that sidecar. No wonder it took longer than expected to get home.

Hard call. Wish I could pick two and give them equal points, but I did that already. So I think it has to be Donna. Her last line punches you right in the gut. Great work by all the finalists, though. (Hey Janet, how about throwing in a pair of sheep to keep the cow company?)

Wow! These are all so great! I have to say lizosisek really got me hard, though. There's something so poignant about almost-divorced parents visiting the graves of their children separately. It's both evocative and tragic. Add to that the excellent writing and the killer first line, and I know where I'd cast my vote. :)

Although, again, everyone WAS fantastic. Geez, I don't know. Glad I just get to read and enjoy!

I'm kinda partial to the stories of Beth and Brigid. Hard pick though.

Congrats to all and sundry. A lot of wonderful stuff.

I want to apologize for the lack of depth I came up with. I thought of Ben and Jerry as low hanging fruit and digging a bit deeper took too much time. I know Moxie is actually from Maine but Vermont seems to be its only other market.

I also know that Pumpkin Chunkin has moved to Delaware but it originated in Vermont.

It's so interesting to me that I was the only one who unconsciously put most of the stories in VT. A good reminder to me of the partnership between writer and reader - we can't control what our readers use to color in the spaces left by the story.

Congrats to all the finalists! There's so much talent in this community. I love the structure in Steve Forti's entry. Brigid and tell me later both made me laugh out loud. And Donnaeve, as always, has given me chills. Well done, all!

Thank you all for your kind words! For what it's worth, Rachel, I wasn't picturing Vermont when I wrote this. It's set in Southern Tier New York, near the Pennsylvania border. I grew up there, and came away with multiple inside jokes about both cows and billboards. Not sure what that says about me and my childhood friends...

I can never get here on Mondays & Tuesdays, and now I'm kinda glad for it. Because I'd need to get about six more voter ID cards to cast all the ballots necessary for my votes.

If the criteria is most times read a single story, I'll have to go with Donna's subtle brilliance. That said, I'm not sure I understand the same way the next person does. Sis came up with the plan, and Bro killed Dad and now they're both in it together? That's a lotta reading between the lines, so I don't really know if I got it.

First story I ever sold was about the Flying Jenny, so I'm partial to Beth as well. Steve's is just brilliant. Of course.

All that said, before my arm gets too twisted, I'll have to go with lizo and that ride down south because I'm still in the car.

There's a few clues. The texting big sister is doing is why the "strange car" shows up. Little bro tries to interject, (timidly) "that ain't the bus." She's traipsing off with a stranger (you can assume she met online) instead of going to school - and she threatens little brother. This is one of the first clues, when she says, "Not one word, you'll regret it."

The next hint is this, I consider her words, the outcome.

And so...little bro decides life without Sis sure is great. He's kind of liking it without her, and besides, his ballgame is improving - bonus! He's not about to give up such a great "outcome." Not even with the police questioning him. The last hint completes the circle. He's only doing as she said... Not one word. Definitely no regrets.

And that's it. This little twist was learned right out here with a post QOTKU did one day. It involved a fence that was meant to keep ...was it a dog? inside. Anyone remember that?

Fantastic news, and a great segue into Dixie Dupree. This contest, and your entry in particular, was an education for all of us.

It might have just been my Internet service provider playing tricks on me, but when I saw the hanging chad at the end of your entry ... well, I knew it was only a matter of time till Janet made the announcement. Well deserved!

And, by the way, after my ninth read, I have yet another interpretation! Of course, with my memory I can hide my own Easter eggs, so I've forgotten the first eight interpretations.

I'm been jumping up and down! Wheeee! I can't WAIT to get my cow! When the newly purchased air conditioned FEDEX 18 wheeler shows up out front, I'll proudly escort her down the sidewalk and into her new residence. She and Little Dog will be best friends! I just know it. Looks like I'll have to stop feeding Little Dog boiled beef...and maybe I'll take ole Mabel down to the Chick-Fil-A in Buies Creek so she can see some of her cousins.

Seriously, thank you so much Ms. Janet!!! There was a great display of talent shown with this particular batch of entries.

Congrats to all other mentions, long listed, and short listed! There's a lot of talent out here.

Congrats! Donnaeve, even though I interpreted it as the little brother actually killed her! Oops. But I did get the rest. I think. No. Yep, I did.

Pretty new to these contests, and I have to say they are a fun challenge, and I am delighted to settle in with a cup of coffee and delve into the weird, twisted, haunting, poignant entries on Sunday mornings.

Congratulations, Donna! Count me in as one who read your entry and loved it :)And congrats also to all short listers, long listers and special mentions. Your writing inspires me to strive harder.And a huge thank you, as always, to Janet for the incredible learning opportunity you provide here on a daily basis. It is truly appreciated :D

Wow, finally found time to read the finalists (my weekend was a write-off so I didn't even know there was a contest).

Miss Janet, I'm glad you weren't sure you understood one (I wasn't sure either) and that one story related to Ben and Jerry's and another to the new ghostbusters - both of which I am very unfamiliar with.

Not that I am unfamiliar with ice-cream (sadly quite the opposite, lol), but Ben and Jerry's is not common here.

And I have heard there is a new all-female Ghostbusters, but that's about as far as my knowledge goes.

Donna, loved your story. It would have got my vote, although Steve's was a close second.

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