Reel Deal: Flaws of 'Expendables' make it fun

Robert McCune

Friday

Aug 27, 2010 at 12:01 AMAug 27, 2010 at 12:40 PM

The plot is paper thin. The writing is atrocious. The violence is senseless. The action is unbelievable. And the heroes – and villains – are expendable in every way (meaning I simply couldn’t care less who lived or died). But this flick’s flaws are what make it fun. If you bought a ticket to “The Expendables” expecting anything more or less, you just weren’t paying attention. The poster, for crying out loud, features a skull framed by wings of machineguns and mega knives.

In action and horror movies, the filmmakers’ philosophy is typically the same:

Go big or go home.

Pesky little things like plot and character development aren’t important to most slam-bam or fright-night flicks – as long as the former features a fast pace and lots of explosions and the latter scares up a rapid heartbeat.

Of course, the best ones do both – weighing complex characters and a compelling story with all the typical trappings.

But sometimes the best just isn’t good enough.

Sometimes only the worst will do.

‘THE EXPENDABLES’

Sixty-four-year-old Sylvester “Sly” Stallone’s been reliving his glory days on the silver screen – making, in the last four years, a sixth “Rocky” and a fourth “Rambo” decades after those characters had been stored away on a dusty celluloid shelf.

His latest attempt at setting the cinema back 20 years is “The Expendables” – a tribute to the mindless action films of the 1980s and early 1990s, starring many of the bulky brutes who tore up the theaters back then.

Arnold Schwarzenneger and Bruce Willis even give a wink-wink to their action movie roots.

The plot is paper thin. The writing is atrocious. The violence is senseless. The action is unbelievable. And the heroes – and villains – are expendable in every way (meaning I simply couldn’t care less who lived or died).

But this flick’s flaws are what make it fun.

If you bought a ticket to “The Expendables” expecting anything more or less, you just weren’t paying attention. The poster, for crying out loud, features a skull framed by wings of machineguns and mega knives.

No film in recent memory features a bigger body count than “The Expendables.” I lost count around 400. No joke.

Bad guys and henchmen die in the most graphic and gratuitous ways. A souped-up shotgun turns some into bad-guy soup; blades behead; and fire and explosions take out dozens at a time. And just when you think you’ve seen every action cliché in the book, Terry Crews throws a missile at a helicopter.

Eric Roberts, like all of our heroes, is in familiar bad-guy territory – as the same kind of sinister sleaze he’s played in dozens of schlocky (often straight-to-video) smash-em-ups.

Of course, there’s also a damsel in distress, a traitor, an iron-fisted dictator and an army of nameless, voiceless enemy soldiers just waiting to be obliterated.

Most of the “I’m-getting-too-old-for-this-(stuff)” jokes belong to Sly.

And we, the audience, have got to agree with him on that one.

But his style of action hero – and our odd fascination with it – die hard.

'LET ME IN'

Two years ago, around the same time the first “Twilight” flick was making heart-throbs of vampires and werewolves, a little film out of Norway was giving the mythical blood-suckers a new, more terrifying bite.

“Let the Right One In” was praised as the anti-Twilight.

Now, just two years later, it’s inspired an American remake. The title’s been simplified – “Let Me In” – and the roles recast, but the story of a bullied 12-year-old boy and the mysterious girl next door (who’s been 12 for a very long time) is the same.

“Let Me In” sinks its teeth into theaters Oct. 1.

'THE CRAZIES'

You read news reports of people killing other people over the craziest things, and you’ve gotta wonder if this hasn’t actually happened – possibly more than once, and maybe on a grander scale.

Something mysterious in the drinking water causes the residents of a small town to lose their minds – sending them, quietly moping or laughing hysterically, on homicidal rampages.

The military then swoops in – decked out in containment suits and oxygen masks – to herd the infected and clean up the mess.

It’s frightening because it seems probable – these aren’t zombies or vampires, they’re regular people with a case of the crazies.

“The Crazies,” starring Timothy Olyphant as a smalltown Iowa sheriff forced to flee the chaos with his pregnant wife (Radha Mitchell) and loyal deputy (Russell Clank), is a remake of George A. Romero’s 1973 original.

Romero’s a pro when it comes to zombie flicks – he directed the best of them, “Night of the Living Dead” in 1968; “Dawn of the Dead” in 1978 (remade in 2004); and “Day of the Dead” in 1985 (remade in 2008).

But, as I mentioned, “The Crazies” isn’t a zombie flick. It’s, in my opinion, much better. One big difference is these creepers aren’t undead – and thus, can die. They also don’t feast on brains.

I can’t say how this latest version stacks up with the original, because I haven’t seen the original. But I was on the edge of my seat for the whole terrifyingly suspenseful ride.

Olyphant is perfect as Sheriff David Dutton – a role that resembles his portrayal of U.S. Marshal Rayland Givens in the FX series “Justified,” of which I’m a big fan.

There’s little gore – and less than a bucket of blood – but there’s plenty of nail-biting.

You’d be crazy to skip it.

Contact Robert McCune at Robert.McCune@IndeOnline.com.

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