And by jealousy I mean the experience of being one down to somebody else when you make a comparison between what they have and what you have. If looking at somebody else who successful gives you a goal to aspire to, so much the better. But if all it does is make you miserable and produces a sense of failure, stop doing it. Instead, focus on your own success and how you might become more successful.

2 Give up the Fear of Change.

In the work I’ve done over the years it’s absolutely extraordinary how often I’ve come across people who knew their lives were terrible, but who absolutely refused to make any effort to change simply because they were frightened of what might happen if they stepped out of their “comfort zone”. (And that’s somewhat ironic considering the comfort zone is usually a kind of hell on earth!) How could it be that somebody could fear change so much that they stick with their own hell on earth? Often it’s because they actually don’t make a simple decision to change things for the better.

3 Give up the Need to Be in Control

Being in control is only way of keeping yourself safe – but the irony is you can’t be in control of everything. It’s a simple piece of advice: “give up the need to be in control”. But it takes some effort. In fact it takes quite a bit of effort. Nonetheless, if you start recognising the certain things in certain events really are just beyond your control, and in actual fact you probably have no right to interfere anyway, then life becomes a lot easier. And ironically, it’s from that place that you can begin to manifest what you want more easily.

4 Achieve a Balance in Life

You all know what I mean by that: a balance between work and pleasure and leisure. A balance between home and family. A life where you are looking after yourself and the people around you.

5 Stop Blaming Others

This is probably the hardest single change for people to make. And of course there’s no doubt that our history, our childhood experience, our family environment, the bad boss, the awkward siblings, and so on can really impact on how we live our lives today. But just ask yourself this: did you ever meet anybody whose life improved because they were blaming what happened to them in the past? No, the only way people can improve their lives is by taking responsibility for the future. By taking responsibility and deciding once and for all that you are actually in charge of your own life, is possible for you to start focusing on solutions and shedding baggage of the past, which is almost certainly holding you back.

6 Be More Positive

It’s certainly true that where the attention goes, the energy flows. So if you’re criticizing, complaining, gossiping, focusing on the negative, moaning about how bad the news on TV is, thinking about the state of the world and all that other stuff, you’re wasting your energy. That’s energy that you could be putting into something more positive. One of my mentors once suggested to me that I stopped reading the newspaper watching the TV and radio news, and though I found it hard to give up what looks like an addiction in retrospect, I can tell you the difference it made to my mental state and energy was phenomenal. Focus on the things that you can control and change not on the ones you can’t.

7 Give Up The Need to Be Right

This was a big one for me. Of course wanting to be right is just another form of wanting to be in control, but there’s so much wasted energy goes along with this: persuading others, forcing others even to take on your point of view on attitudes and belief systems just so you feel validated. It’s pointless!

Validation comes from within, from knowing your own worth, and from having a set of values that are yours and yours alone and don’t depend on the approval or acceptance of anybody else. The only thing that need to be right produces is conflict. A wise elder knows there’s no point trying to persuade others to change their mind. They change their mind because of their experience. So give up the desire to be right all the time and use the energy that that frees up to improve your life.

8 Identify and Eliminate Your Limiting Beliefs

You can find more information on that on this website!

9 Find a Supportive Group Who Are on Your Side

Were all social creatures, and it’s extraordinarily easy to fall in with people who have a negative influence on you. To fall in with people who have no aspirations, or ambitions or drive. If you’re in a group of people like this, you’re almost certainly going to achieve far less than you otherwise could. You need to be surrounded by people who inspire you, people who act as role models, people who support you, and people who truly want you to live your life to the fullest.

10 Let Go of the past

Sometimes it isn’t possible to let go of the wounds that we experienced in childhood, and therapy or some kind of reparative work is needed to heal the wounds. I don’t think it is true you can just sidestep this stuff, but if you feel that the past is holding you back, then go and do something about it. Get some good therapy, join a support group, take of some practice like mindfulness or meditation. Just do something. By taking action, the past can become a source of wisdom and experience rather than holding you back by drawing your energy repeatedly to the negative experiences that you had during childhood.