Most powerful celebs: Oprah, James Cameron… Kipp?

Kipp is fuming. Well OK, not fuming, but mildly ticked off. Well not even that, to be honest, but a less well adjusted website might be. The annual celebrity power list from Forbes magazine is out, and yet again we’ve been left out of the collection of power players.

“How could this happen?” we don’t hear any of you asking. Well, we’re going to tell you anyway, because if there’s one thing we all want to know, it’s how to get to the top.

Let’s break it down. If Kipp doesn’t make it in, who the heck does? Well, instead of Kipp, we have some woman called “Oprah” at number one, who apparently has amiable and non-invasive conversations with people on a sofa, and in second place the rather tiresome Beyonce. Third is James Cameron, who gave up making good films after Terminator 2, and fourth is Lady Gaga, who is possibly insane. Fifth was Tiger Woods, who apparently is a better celeb than he is a husband.

Presumably if we can hone the same talents these people display, we could make it into contention. So by Kipp’s calculations, the way to dominate the top spot would be to host a chat show, make annoying repetitive songs, direct films about space, go a bit loopy, and cheat on your spouse.

There you have it, our advice for success – just remember us when you make it big. But please, do bear in mind that pretty much none of those skills would get you anywhere in your average office job. Or in any other walk of life, come to that.