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SIT-A-LONG with JUNDO: THE GOOD FIGHT

Some folks think that BUDDHISTS ARE MERELY PUSHOVERS. Well, sometimes we are "pushovers" ... allowing events to just push us over without resistance, roll past us, all until we (hopefully) roll back up!

Other times ... like the Dalai Lama in his resistance to China, like the monks of Burma, like Gandhi (okay, not a 'Buddhist' really, but ya get the point), even like "Master Caine" in that old tv show ... we may need to push back, protest, resist, fight a good fight appropriate to the circumstances. Stilll, there is a way to do that, and not do that, and non-do that ... hopefully free of greed, anger and ignorance, free of all resistance even in the resistance. It might be against social injustice, it might be against an illness, it might be about something necessary and right in our own life that deserves standing up for (as well as sitting down on the Zafu for).

HOW WE FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD.

Today’s Sit-A-Long video follows at this link. Remember: recording ends soon after the beginning bells; a sitting time of 20 to 35 minutes is recommended.

Re: SIT-A-LONG with JUNDO: THE GOOD FIGHT

Great talk. I enjoyed this one alot and think it brought up a very good point. We need to learn when the time to stand up for ourselves is and when it isn't. And when we have to to do so with the mindset of love,compassion and respect for our "obstacles" be they people or otherwise. Thanks for this.

Re: SIT-A-LONG with JUNDO: THE GOOD FIGHT

Good topic. This is the kind of situation I can't deal with at times, particularly when it concerns my family. BUT, you are so right to remind us that the other party is also us, our family. Thank you Jundo.

Re: SIT-A-LONG with JUNDO: THE GOOD FIGHT

Really enjoyed this talk. I find many times my anger rises by way of frustration with my kids. Not so difficult of a situation as that of police officers or the Dalai Lama, but maybe on some level not so different either. :-)

Re: SIT-A-LONG with JUNDO: THE GOOD FIGHT

I have recently discovered that I need to start standing up more to my wife!
Something many husbands (and wives!) experience sooner or later I guess! Before, even though we were married it wasn't a problem. But during pregnancy and after the child was born (no pulse and no breathing by the way, completely healthy now), I tried to be as compassionate and understanding as I possibly could. Didn't talk about my own problems, quit my training and cut back on other activities, did everything that was asked and more without hesitation, took verbal abuse when frustrations got out of hand and never spoke back. And it was totally fine by me because of the circumstances. But it created bad habits and negative circles that I have now realized I need to break. I also think our roles and priorities change when we become parents. Sleep deprivation doesn't help either... So standing up for myself in a compassionate way is a big part of my practice right now!

A question:
You say that one should fight the good fight and stand up for oneself without anger. Do you think one should always try to let go of anger, or do you think anger can be a useful sometimes, if we manage to keep some distance to it, avoid letting it carry us away and channel it into something positive, such as great determination?

Re: SIT-A-LONG with JUNDO: THE GOOD FIGHT

Originally Posted by Omoi Otoshi

I have recently discovered that I need to start standing up more to my wife!
...
A question:
You say that one should fight the good fight and stand up for oneself without anger. Do you think one should always try to let go of anger, or do you think anger can be a useful sometimes, if we manage to keep some distance to it, avoid letting it carry us away and channel it into something positive, such as great determination?

Gassho,
Pontus

Yes, practice at home with a husband or wife is very tricky. When to push on an issue, when to be a pushover ... hmmm, even those single and unattached guys, Buddha and Dogen (who ruled their Sangha like Kings), might not know for sure! :shock: Good wishes, and may you assert your self skillfully ... so that you do not unintentionally end up a single and unattached guy doing Zazen in the waiting room of your divorce lawyer! :?

As to anger ...

This is an interesting question that comes up from time to time. You have probably seen, in Tibetan Buddhism, images of "wrathful" deities who turn their "pure anger" toward such causes as the protection of the Dharma and the saving of all Sentient Beings ... their wrath is directed at fighting evil, fire with fire ...

Anger is also a natural part of being human ... like sadness and fear ... and we should not be angry about sometimes getting a little angry (or sad about sometimes being sad, etc.). Not in our corner of Buddhism anyway. That's just how our animal brains are wired.

HOWEVER, unlike sadness (which is just part of the scenery of life, rainy days following sunny), or fear (which may even serve to keep us safe and out of harm's way if held in moderation) ... anger is truly fire & TNT, and has potential to do great harm. It is more likely to end up as a fight in a bar, a broken relationship or starting a war than it is to do any positive good. As well, there are other emotions and perspective which can accomplish the positive goods more effectively.

So, for example, calm reflection, looking for a constructive solution and keeping one's head as much as possible while taking effective action is an approach more likely to solve a problem in this world or in one's life than tossing more fuel on the fires of hate. (For example, the best way, I would say, to combat the hate and anger of 'terrorism' is to not add hate and anger and revenge on top of hate and anger. The taking of effective action, even some violent action ... if called for ... to end the problem is not dependent on our anger). Perhaps, "righteous indignation" or "tough love" (if a parent ... even the Zen Master's "30 blows" are more of this kind) or "a firm hand with a calm mind" may be justified by a situation (throw the bad guys in jail and throw away the key, even as one knows that they are also just sentient beings victims of their own anger and hate) ...

... but I would say that anger is rarely, if ever, an appropriate response.

You can read more in our threads on this subject for study of the Jukai Precepts ...

Re: SIT-A-LONG with JUNDO: THE GOOD FIGHT

Good wishes, and may you assert your self skillfully ... so that you do not unintentionally end up a single and unattached guy doing Zazen in the waiting room of your divorce lawyer! :?

I do love my wife and she loves me, which helps!
And if that were to happen, I guess Zazen would be perfect as it is in that waiting room. Nothing to add, nothing to remove.

HOWEVER, unlike sadness (which is just part of the scenery of life, rainy days following sunny), or fear (which may even serve to keep us safe and out of harm's way if held in moderation) ... anger is truly fire & TNT, and has potential to do great harm. It is more likely to end up as a fight in a bar, a broken relationship or starting a war than it is to do any positive good. As well, there are other emotions and perspective which can accomplish the positive goods more effectively.
............
For example, the best way, I would say, to combat the hate and anger of 'terrorism' is to not add hate and anger and revenge on top of hate and anger. The taking of effective action, even some violent action ... if called for ... to end the problem is not dependent on our anger). Perhaps, "righteous indignation" or "tough love" (if a parent ... even the Zen Master's "30 blows" are more of this kind) or "a firm hand with a calm mind" may be justified by a situation.

These have been my thoughts exacty, thanks. When I was a child, I used to get very angry and I solved many conflicts with violence. Always thinking I was righteuos. Then one day I got really angry. So angry I scared myself. And I started to let go of anger. I have never been in a fight after that. And I have realized that I probably wasn't always so righteous... I even became a pacifist (I wouldn't call myself that anymore, but I try to always let go of anger). However, I have been told at times that I am too calm and very hard to get upset and excited. And I have sometimes been wondering if I let go of useful energy when I let go of a feeling of anger that I feel is under control. But as you say, a little "righteous indignation" or "tough love" is probably sometimes called for, as long as it is done with compassion.

but I would say that anger is rarely, if ever, an appropriate response.
You can read more in our threads on this subject for study of the Jukai Precepts ...

Ah! So much to read and... infinite time! I'll keep reading!
Thanks for your long answer!

Re: SIT-A-LONG with JUNDO: THE GOOD FIGHT

Re: SIT-A-LONG with JUNDO: THE GOOD FIGHT

Thank you Jundo Sensei. This was a great talk! As a Buddhist, being a pushover is a trap we can easily fall into(i know i have). Its great to hear of a way to follow the path yet have the right frame of mind(of no mind of course) to stand up when necessary. I will get a lot of mileage out of this teaching!