Her Gryffindor moment

Hermione's feet hit the frozen ground and she immediately
stumbled and fell hard onto the snow of the hillside in Wales,
the first place that had entered her mind as she leapt into the
night air. Harry thumped down beside her. Her body ached in
protest but she sat up quickly as she felt Harry thrash to her
left.

Harry’s body convulsed in violent spasms, beating with limbs and
head to the frozen ground. Harry was trained player of Quidditch
much stronger than Hermione, so keeping him down and preventing
him from hurting himself took all her effort. She had to kneel on
top of his body and still even using her body as a weight she was
soon sweating from the effort to keep Harry’s body firmly pressed
to the ground.

Her mind was similarly convulsing in fear. What if Voldemort
knows how to follow somebody Apparating? What if some Snatchers
can hear noise of Harry’s seizures? Worries completely filled her
soul. One hand still pushing Harry to the ground she pulled with
the other hand her wand from her robes and held it in mouth. Then
in short pauses between individual convulsions she threw around
them all her usual protective charms. Just when she cast
“Muffliato” around them, Harry started to shout out loud
incomprehensible shrieks. Sometimes in the middle of terrified
shriek, he started to laugh maniacally, and then again switched
to something incomprehensible. Sometimes in the middle of
shrieking even a comprehensible sentence emerged:

“KILL HARRY POTTER!”

Then in the fury of sneak hissing she heard hopeless crying
“Master, forgive me!”.

Then again the shrieks lost any coherence. It was horrifying.

Too much stress on her body from the effort to contain Harry,
constant hunger, and fear finally took the toll on Hermione, and
she passed out exhausted on the top of his feverish sweaty body.
Few moments later the freezing chill around them awoke her again.
When she was opening her eyes, she caught a glimpse of their
surroundings. There were in the middle of small clearing on the
top of hill. All grass and shrubbery in the forest were covered
with thick layer of snow which absorbed most sounds so she could
almost hear the surrounding silence. She looked over the large
stretch of land down below the hill all covered with forests and
in the background the Sun was slowly setting down. Harry was
lying still at the moment, so the beauty and absolute serenity of
their surrounding contrasted sharply with her feelings. She sat
up too briskly and suddenly there was a black in front of her
eyes and she had to held firmly on the Harry’s coat so she
wouldn’t fall again. She breathed deeply and she saw in front of
her an image.

She saw herself sitting beside a bed in a tiny room completely
dark just with a lamp on a small table. She saw a child lying on
the bed. Its head was in the dark so it was not possible to look
into its face nor whether it is a boy or a girl. She was gently
caressing its hand, afraid not to wake it up.

The vision stretched just for a second, but she suddenly knew.
She knew this is her child she will have with the husband she
will marry after this war ends. She knew for the first time since
they left the Grimmauld Place that this hopeless suicidal mission
will actually succeed. And she hoped against all hope that the
child’s hair will have the flaming red colour.

She also exactly knew what she needs to do right now. She
summoned a tent from her beaded bag and with one swish of her
wand she let it stand (she usually just did not bother with
shouting incantations any more and did most of her magic
non-verbally). Then took a really big slurp of the frozen air to
keep herself focused and cast “Wingardium Leviosa” charm on
Harry. She had to bite her lips not to cry over her memories of
Ron, because she always associated this charm with him, but she
managed to transport Harry to the lower bunk bed. Then she was
attacked by yet another memory. She knew she should strip Harry
from his dirty wet clothes and put him to the sleeping bag. She
felt very uncomfortable doing it, but she remembered vividly how
her mum (who was first a nurse practitioner in the large hospital
before switching to being an assistant in her husband’s dental
office) talked about how uncomfortable she felt when stripping
male patients in the hospital. She just couldn’t be emotional at
the moment so she bent down to him. Only then she recognized that
the wand he still held firmly in his hand is almost split into
two pieces holding together just by a thin string of phoenix
feather.

“No, no, no!” she shouted. This was Harry’s wand with the twin of
the Voldemort’s wand core. Hermione knew that he relied on its
protection a lot. Moreover, a wand is way more for each wizard or
witch than just a tool, even more than just a friend with whom
they spent their lives. Each wizard has his wand since the moment
they first start learning their first charms and so gradually
part of their personality transfers to their wands, she felt like
if part of Harry broke irreparably.

No! She still does not have time to cry, she must carry on and
take care of him. She unbuttoned his jacket and not thinking much
about her emotions she took down his jumper and shirt. The first
thing she saw was that the Slytherin’s locket got completely
grown into the Harry’s chest. However, at the moment fresh air
touched the locket, Harry started to thrash again. His shouting
and shrieks were deafening. Hermione wanted to run away to cover
her ears from the noise, but she just refused to think at the
moment. She tried to remove the locket from the chest, but it
held too firmly. She thought about her mum again, swished her
wand and shouted “Diffindo!”. The locket got separated, but
huge cuts to the chest appeared as well. She poured a dittany on
them and hoped that she did not hit some important vessel. She
really did not have in herself to wear the locket covered in
Harry’s blood, so she just put it on one pole supporting the
tent. They were likely not moving any time soon anyway. At the
moment she moved the locket away from Harry, he calmed
substantially. Now he was more just shaking than convulsing. She
summoned a chair standing on the other side of the tent and sit
on it. This was just too much at the moment for her to stand.
However, after couple of minutes, she knew she has to keep
moving, or she will lose the focus.

She went to the toilet of the tent and filled a small washbasin
with warm water and soap. She found somewhere a piece of cloth,
went back to Harry, and started to wash his chest from all blood,
dirt, and sweat. Then she saw horrible stabs by the snake’s fangs
and she doused good spill of dittany over them hoping the wounds
are not cursed by something which wouldn’t heal just by the
potion and Harry’s own body strength. She then continued until
Harry was clean, in pyjamas, and lying in the warmth of his
sleeping bag and she was sitting next to him with a cup of hot
tea in her hand. His body went through more seizures and she must
then always stop and held him down pressed to the bed so that he
did not hurt himself at least by falling from the bed.

She held her hand on his chest so that she could feel soon first
signs on upcoming seizure, but she finally could stop and think.
First however she finally let herself to cry over her panic in
the Bathilda Bagshot’s house, over her fear which surrounded her
all day yesterday in Godfric’s Hollow, fear of future, fear of
what will happen to Harry who was caught by another convulsions
in that moment, mourned over destroyed Harry’s holly wand. When
she allowed herself to cry, she cannot stop and continued to cry
over her separation from Ron and her fear of what happened to
him, over her parents, how she missed all her friends in
Hogwarts, and over all other stresses which plagued last couple
of months of their life. She cried so long until there were no
more tears to be shed. She felt completely hollow and empty.

However, then in this empty place in her soul she recalled her
vision minutes ago and suddenly strong surge of hope overcame her
heart. She really believed in that moment they will succeed, that
all those questions for which they have no reply will be
answered, and they will see death of Tom Riddle. And she knew
with great certainty her only responsibility is to be what she
was until then, and she should not worry about anything else. She
should be Harry’s older sister standing always behind him and the
friendly know-it-all of their gang however large it will be, with
or without Ron, helping them navigate by the power of her brains.

She was still afraid of future, she was still afraid what will
happen to Ron, she was still afraid whether she will see him
again or not, she was still afraid of what happens to Harry, she
accepted yet another fear, whether other will understand her
vision and her hope. What she learned from the ridiculous classes
with Professor Trelawney was that future is never certain, so she
knew there are many decisions on which that beautiful vision she
saw earlier depends. There was a lot to be afraid of, but now she
felt she is free of these fears, and she knew they will not
control her in the future.

And she finally recognized what she did not get during all those
years in the Gryffindor tower. That there is not only masculine
bravery to run to the middle of the fight, but that there is also
female bravery to remain with somebody who may die, to remain
alone with Harry in the situation which seems completely
hopeless. And she should now follow with Harry what she saw in
the vision. Just sit beside his bed, be with him, take care of
him when seizures overcome him, and wait until his body wins the
hurt caused to him by the snake.

She put her hand on in this moment calm Harry’s chest and said to
the silence surrounding her “We will make it, Harry. We will get
the bastard.”

Then she sat on a chair standing next to Harry’s bed and opened
the book “The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore” she brought from
the Bathilda Bagshot’s house. They need to understand this book
and she will make sure they will be ready when needed.

She knew she will sit and wait in that chair for a long time and
morning was still far away.