Life is savory, explicit, and untamed. I am only one that observes. My way of documenting LIFE as it happens is through photo, journalism, or just plain memory. I don't ever want to forget how something made me feel... or what it taught me. So this is my way of keeping some kind of record.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Life has changed for the better for me. I really feel like this time around I am prepared. Renzo and I are happy together, and happy as in satisfied that love brought us so far. We set no limitations, narrow any roads in our mind, set apart anything from pissible, we simply live to appreciate each others company. Love is so much a delicate flower that if you touch it too much, force it to grow somewhere it doesn't, or not give it enough room to blossom.... it simply won't. My whole life I looked to be appreciated by someone. I wanted someone to know that the little things count more for me than money. Renzo gets that. Our love is the same that way. I used to think that God had forgotten about me. I used to think that I wouldn't find anyone else to love me. Divorce had cursed me for life. But I was wrong. And before I knew what was truly happening.... there he was. We were like magnets that tried to pull ourselves apart. Of course that didn't work. So here we are... doing what we know best... doing what two magnets do best... becoming one.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Sooooo I have finally gotten settled into my new accommodations in Florida. After a year of hell I am truly starting to enjoy my life again. I have been through some storms but it's great to feel like the rollercoaster is on an upward path. I can't believe that things are so much better. I am relaxed, at piece, and it's time for me to be ME again. So here goes.....

Sunday, December 4, 2011

No amount of tears can make this better. No amount of words can fill this hole. You served ur country as a Marine and u gave ur life so I could be free. But somehow I don't see this as just. I can't accept that YOUR life had to be ended. I won't control the tears... It's just not fair. Adam... You left behind family. They of all people are hurting the worst. I can't fathom the pain and agony they feel. You left behing ur Marine family... Who got to love u and appreciate the great person that u were. Seeking closure is not an option. I refuse to close out ur life like this. I refuse to believe that ur smiling face won't grace another day. I will play those moments in my head and let the tears fall in ur memory. So instead of saying goodbye I will jst keep thinking we'll meet again one day. I'll keep u here in my heart... Smiling, laughing, ..... Alive.
RIP Adam Buyes

Sunday, October 30, 2011

So this year I was supposed to be someone from Mortal Kombat. My friends and I were going to do it allll up and straight K.O. it on Gate2 street. However the weather has been changing out here. It's been getting cold outside at night to the point where sweaters and jeans are a must. I'm 120lbs, short, and easily cold. This is not my scene. One day it will be hot. Then next it will be cold. Well mother nature really did me in this Halloween season... because me and other homies got sick. Oh the horror that came when I realized that I was to be nothing but contagious for Halloween. Yay me. LOL I got to watch lots of movies this weekend though since I was in bed. Well there's always next year!

Sunday, October 23, 2011

I know an angel watches over me. He used to walk the earth.
He loved one woman, raised 22 children with her, especially one in particular.
A man that has become special to me. He raised a man that has never let me down.
A man that people have grown to love and respect. A man I admire now.
A man I love and I adore with every very ounce of me, my everything.
He raised this man that is humble&hard working. A man that for me did anything.
He raised a man that has taught me what perseverance can do.
He raised a man that never let me fall. A man that never left me too.
He raised a man that gave his everything towards nurture, protection, and love.
And though I know not what he looked like, this angel watches me from above.
When we met or even how he was, I really couldn't tell you.
God knows how much it hurts to even think "I wish I only knew."
This angel raised my dad, the number1 man in my existence.
And I spoke of this angel today. Could this have become coincidence?
Today I spoke with family, looked at pictures, all on Facebook.
A picture was standing out to me. Something said take a closer look.
There he appeared. For the first time. This angel now had a face.
THEY must have heard me...God and my angel. This was a gift of their grace.
THEY felt how much my heart wanted to know. Today, THEY answered, you see.
This is my Grandfather... Julio. This is the angel that watches over me.

I have always had a thing for music. Especially when I started singing. My inspirations were and still are the same people. I grew up listening to Brenda K. Starr, La India, Mariah Carey, and Whitney Houston. These females have always blown up the states they graced with their voices. Brenda K. Starr and La India are not as famous as the other two. However they have their spots in my heart. They are Jersey girls, just like me, and man can they blow some high notes. Out of all those females, however, my fav will always be Mariah Carey. No1 touches her in my book. Her range of SEVERAL octaves out does any1 else. She is graceful, beautiful, and quite the performer. I don't care what any1 has to say about her. Eminem can go and take a Vicodin and chill the hell out. No matter what he, or any1, says Mariah is the BOMB! There is just no other. I wish some1 would try to test that theory. Good luck to her twins. I pray one of them carries the legacy. :) ~ Jazii

Monday, October 17, 2011

@010's Halloween was one of the best for me. Even though I was all by my lonesome I found that my friends from work were going to come through fro me. My girls from the Semper Fit are: Jenny, Aya, Kathy, and my CHELLY!!!! We went through such BS working together. Screwed up management, abuse of the rules, ect, ect. But we made it through by sticking together. I don't think I would have loved my job had it not been for these girls. We loved our mama-san (mother figure) Tomoko and she loved us even though we gave her headaches. But back to Halloween night right? Well we all dressed up as anything we wanted to be. I was a Burlesque dancer, Jenny was a gangster, Aya used my REAL Penn State University cheerleading uniform, Kathy was just fabulous(lol), and my Chelly was a ref. We went to Gate 2 which is the local strip for clubs and bars. Once I got there I was walking around like "where tha hell are these girls!?!?!" Texting a mile a minute, looking to see if I catch a glimpse of one of their costumes, ANYTHING! People that knew me from the In Da House promos greeted me which took MORE time. LOL! Finally they came to get me and we headed to Club Tyme. There we proceeded to dance until our knees let out and drink until there was nothing but water left(in moderation of course lol). My Chelly (that's my nickname for her, Michelle) had no shame in her southern white girl game. She got down with me on the dance floor and we kicked it like no other female duo. While we were on the dance floor they announced that there would be a costume contest. The winner would get $100 and two free tickets to see Waka Flaka in concert. Well little did I know that my Chelly was going to MAKE me win. Everyone had complimented me on my costume and there really wasn't anyone that I thought would beat me at first. I hardly saw any females dressed in costume. Well boy was I wrong when they called for all the ladies to step up. There were 5 girls that were dressed up really well. I was totally not thinking I was going to win, but I really didn't want to compete anyway because I just came to have fun. My Chelly manipulated me into it, that persuasive thing, I swear. So one by one the crowd yelled for the girl that the MC was standing next to. Well when it came to my turn, I not only heard the most yelling, but I heart my CHELLY above all others. That girl yelled louder than the men! That's my homegirl for life. She wanted me to win so bad. I remember that she was making fun of the girl who was supposed to be a pin up girl. And Chelly was so loud that the girls friend overheard. I found that so funny I turned my face to laugh. But the girls thought I joined in. Wow that was crazy. All I know is that I won. My Chelly and friends brought me to victory. And the rest of our crew celebrated the win. When I win we all win. And the night reflected so. I will never forget Club Tyme on Halloween. Wardrobe malfunctions at the end of the night, disorientation, and satisfaction of having been with girls I truly will never forget was the highlight. Truly something to remember. I LOVE MY GRLS FROM SEMPER FIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!