Has any of you girls ever suddenly woke up (as I did this morning) wondering what the hell you want a man for anyway?

Past relationships I have had include a liar, a cheat, an alcoholic who wet the bed, and a man so insecure and jealous of anyone I spoke to under 95 years of age, he made both our lives hell!

That's to name but a few......

The latest man I got "friendly" with turned out to be a convicted pedophile, although thankfully it hadn't got past the stage of him asking me out and me thinking about it, before I found out.
As the mother of a beautiful 7 year old daughter that I adore I shudder to think what could have happened there!

That certainly made me think-what if the "wonderful guy" that we meet and fall in love with turns out to be some horrendous monster that wants to hurt our children? How will we know?
We can only really ever find out things like that the hard way surely?
That's not a chance I'm prepared to take with my princess.

Take my advice ladies-give up your foolish quest to find "Mr Right".
Trust me-he doesn't exist!
Invest in a Rampant Rabbit!
OK it won't buy a drink or even mow the lawn, but it won't try it on with your best mate when you nip to the loo, never wets the bed and best of all-it can't hurt your children!

Mr. Perfect? He doesn't exist. Frankly, I'm not perfect, so that would be too hard for me to live up to. Mr. Right? Yep, and there may even be more than one.

Thank you so much! No guy is perfect. It's up to both parties to find the best fit. Comedian Katt Williams makes references to how women will leave a guy who is "98% good" because of that 2% flaw, then end up with a "71% good" guy. I think some of the problem lies in the way you think about yourself and what you BELIEVE you deserve. If you subconsciously believe that you're not worth a good guy, then sorry to say, but you might as well invest in that Rabbit. You have to set your standards and believe... no KNOW that you deserve better!

Wow, you have been through quite a bit, Kazza. But I have to agree with another poster who asked basically "What is it about you that attracts men like this?" My guess is that at least a few of these losers you decided to stay with for an unspecified period of time too.

I also had to learn the hard way. Once I started to value myself and treat myself with the kind of respect I wanted from a man, the losers started to drift to the wayside and more quality men started stepping up. That is totally an inside job.

Mr. Perfect? He doesn't exist. Frankly, I'm not perfect, so that would be too hard for me to live up to. Mr. Right? Yep, and there may even be more than one.

Why are you even on this website if that's the way you feel? If you're constantly hooking up with idiots that could be just as much your fault as the man's. Some women just seem to gravitate toward idiots. Some men do too for that matter. If you're looking for Mr. Perfect (or Ms. Perfect) you're probably going to be a very lonely person in life. Just driving down the street is a risk. Life without risk is no life at all. There are no guarantees when it comes to life or relationships.

we bother because when mr right does make an appearance it makes all the previous heartaches worthwhile because true love is wonderful.
as a single mum of 4 i never thought anyone would want me let alone my tribe too and you are extra careful about who you let in your life. it's all about trusting your gut instincts and i think most of us mums have a pretty good radar for sensing the dregs of society- if alarm bells give the slightest clang then say bye and move on.
mr rabbit can't make you laugh, hold a decent conversation, send you flowers because you've had a bad week and hold you tight and tell you everything's going to be fine when the bottom's fallen out of your world.
i wouldn't swap that for anything. :-)

Not all men are evil or nasty, there are men out there that would be the love of your life who will love both you andyour princess with all his heart and would protect you both from the evil of this world, but if you have lost your faith in men, what good man would stand a chance, time is a good healer a friend as you will, it is also helps you, by taking your time to get to know him before meeting your daughter, if he is genuine he will wait and take time for you both, but if you keep the vibe of all men are no good then you will never let anyone good take the chance and time on you.........Have faith, take time and trust in yourself.

OK ... here goes....
To Kazza, am sorry that your mission to find the right guy has failed in the worst possible way, but why do you now say that they dont exist (Good Guys)... ye should never give up searching

Sharpy has a very guid point.... to good to be honest, cant compete with that...Guid On Ye

as for the Apples and wine story, Yup, sometimes the guys dont try for the Highest Apple ( guid runrig song that) a see that as their loss... NOW as for the Wine part, yup, been there, wore the bandages (quite literaly TYVM) Some lassies out there want to mould us guys into a so called "better version" but all at happens is we get messed up and become THROUGH the lass herself "False Guys" so guess what... I am what I am, a Daft Cuddly Scotsman hailing from Aberdeen, with a completely clean record due to working in the care field off and on, who has not given up on finding the right person just more of a "When it happens it happens" sorta attitude. I did aquire a few "ahem" friends, but in the end they end up proving to be false in themselves.

So how do I carry on regardless, quite simply, cos I have known what it was to be loved by one special person, but for reasons that couldnt be helped, I came to live in Aberdeen. (if that lass (hint: Wet Wet Wet - Angel Eyes) in question should come across this, please feel free to diss me all you want, you deserve to get that out of yer system)

Now, a just go through life, keep myself as sane as possible by working away in me Admin job, try to earn enough to be able to go for a game or 10 of pool at me local once a hae all the bills paid and shoppin done, and killing time by messin about on the PC.

RodeoCowCop write: But love would not be love without the risk of being burned. Without the journey the destination is pointless; we must open ourselves to love and trust but at the same time be willing to keep our eyes open to the freaks and predators of this world. Because when you are open to true love, it can find you. If you are cynical, or say it can't work because of distance, the possibility of the guy lying or whatever, then you very well may pass up the other half of your soul; in other words your soulmate.

I can't speak for anyone else on this site...but I can say this. It's often frustrating being a guy who tries to be real and genuine only to have other guys ruin it for us. There are those who are human and admit their mistakes and try hard to be a better person. I've been in law enforcement for the last 9 years (a fact I can confirm for those interested!! LOL) and I think I am a moral and upstanding guy, but I also see the freaks of society and can understand a woman's fear.

But love would not be love without the risk of being burned. Without the journey the destination is pointless; we must open ourselves to love and trust but at the same time be willing to keep our eyes open to the freaks and predators of this world. Because when you are open to true love, it can find you. If you are cynical, or say it can't work because of distance, the possibility of the guy lying or whatever, then you very well may pass up the other half of your soul; in other words your soulmate.

Is it a foolish quest to search for Mr. Right? No... it's a foolish quest to search for Mr. Right-Now.

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Lets take a look at what Mr. Merriam Webster has to say about a fool:

1 : a person lacking in judgment or prudence
2 b : one who is victimized or made to appear foolish : DUPE
3 a : a harmlessly deranged person or one lacking in common powers of understanding
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I think it's safe to say that at one time or another we can all call ourselves a "fool" by not heeding those internal warning signs and red flags that so many of these other posts have spoken about.

The key to success is in learning from past mistakes and not repeating them. The desire to find Mr./Mrs. Right is there within you, or you wouldnt be on this site to begin with.

We all get frustrated and inpatient at times when our days of the same routine flow from week to week, year to year and for some, longer. In desperation, we begin to ignore those built in warning devices and take the first thing that comes along that sounds somewhat human. It is our choice to 'remain the fool' by lacking in judgment, or to rise above it and learn how to be content in the way things are. You are 100% whole just being you. It does not take a partner or mate to complete you. However...... a partner/mate can compliment you and bring much satisfaction.

By all means, it's good to 'vent' in those times when we are hurt and need to lash out at the keyboard instead of something more precious to us, such as a loved one. That is one of the many good graces about forums. Your not alone in your thinking and feelings and this is a good place to get all kinds of advice.

I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of those awful relationships. I'm also thankful that the pedophile did not get into your life.

I have to tell you though, I'm not ready to give up. Sure there are some sh@@@y men out there, but that's not all of them. I can't believe that they're all bad. Maybe I'm just a girl walking around with rose coloured glasses, but I plan on finding the man of my dreams and making it work. I'm no fool. No man is perfect. I'm not looking for perfect. I'm looking for worth it.

Don't you want to find a man whose "worth" some of the hassles? You know, the left the toilet seat up, forgot to call you, had to cancel last minute because his buddies were having an impromptu football watching-drinking binge? Someone whose worth some of the aches and pains of a long term relationship? Because you know that at the end of the day, he adores you. That he knows all of YOUR idiosyncrasies and still, at the end of the day, he thinks you're worth it too.

That's why I bother. It's out there. Look at all of the men in here. They can't all be bad.

I think that you are making a very wise decision, Kazza. When my son was young, I didn't date very much and when I did, my dates did not meet my son. I missed having a man around, but at the time, I felt that it was better that my son get my attention. I also felt at the time that it was better not to date because I know that some men don't want to deal with another man's child and I did not want to even "go there".

Also, I am the type of person who gives my all when it comes to a relationship. I don't think that I would have been such a great mother if I had to deal with trying to have a relationship. Especially when I think about the type of men that I used to attract before I met my fiance. (Hmm, maybe that was why I used to attract knuckleheads. Someone was trying to tell me to leave men alone until my son was grown up).

My son graduated from high school last year and is in his first year of college. (Away from home, at that!! Yea!!) A year ago, I met a wonderful man that I am engaged to. He truly is the man of my dreams. Now that I am thinking about it, perhaps he is my reward for deciding not to date while my son was little and needed me.

Anyway, I hope that regardless of your decision, you do remember that your precious little one needs you. Regardless of what other relationships await you, the relationship that you have with your daughter is the most important one. It is the one that helps mold her self-worth.

If you want to be a cynic, then be a cynic, but then don't create a profile, don't post your picture or profile on any website, not even to meet new friends. Be a cynic, be a victim your whole life, turn all of your bad relationships into jagged little pills you swallow over and over every time you meet someone new. Go ahead.

Or you can be like me,cautious and hopeful, and a non-victim. I don't think wallowing in man-hate is fair or good. In fact, it's very bad. Judge every man individually. Judge every person individually.

You say give up hope in exchange for a lifetime with only a vibrator that won't let you down? No thank you.

Have both,have relationships and vibrators.

Remember, you can't have relationships if you don't take risks. And if you don't take risks, you'll never get ANY new relationship, not good ones or bad. The man (person) you turn your back on because you've been burned before, could be the one man who makes you so happy that you turn your bad attitude into sheer contentment. Not bliss, not idealistic perfection. But contentment, happiness. After that you still have bad luck, oh well. Move on, try again.

I'll tell you one thing is for sure, I'd easily trade a pinch of my pride for the possibility of a pinch of happy times.

Kazza2004 write: Has any of you girls ever suddenly woke up (as I did this morning) wondering what the hell you want a man for anyway?

all the time.....then i come to my senses, and go oh yeah, i DO WANT to love agian...then it happens, and i go through heartbreak agian....but alas, i wouldn't want to trade it as said before, it IS better to have love and lost, then never to have loved at all.....it just takes some ppl longer is all.

biigbiird write: Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but are easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now Men.... Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the sh*t out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with!!

biigbiird write: Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but are easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.