Let's talk about sex, baby...

Get your minds out of the gutter people! I'm taking about the baby's sex. Provided all goes to plan, we'll know if baby limestone is playing on the pink or blue team in just 4 short days. Exciting! Aside from just being generally curious, its even more of a build up because I've forbidden myself from planning, buying or doing anything for baby's arrival until we know what kind of trouble is headed our way. In other words, I'm going to be starting on a laundry list of projects this weekend. Hooray.

Speaking of the big reveal, I'm torn about whether we should just hear the news straight from the ultrasound tech's mouth or take the news in an envelope to do something special when we open it. I'd be all in favor for the latter but I can't quite think of anything appropriate for the occassion.

The reveals from these internet mamas were great but require someone else there. While I would absolutely love to get our reaction on film, it's going to be just the two of us. Anyone with a clever idea of what to do to mark the occassion? Or maybe its special enough even in the clincal setting of the ultrasound room? What did you do? Hardly an earth shattering decision here but I'm trying to savor the fun stuff as much as possible.

A few people have asked if we were going to do a gender reveal party. I love the concept but for lots of reasons we won't be hosting one. Now will someone throw a fabulous one and invite me?

69 comments:

We recently found out the gender right there in the ultrasound room. The tech typed "XY", and that was the big reveal! :) I think regardless of when/how/where you find out, it's still a special moment.

I love all the cool things people do, but when I saw the ultrasound, it was really obvious we were blessed with a boy. It's exciting either way. It might be fun if you revealed the sex with something special for your family, but once you're in the room...it will be so hard not to want to know!

I have a friend who took the note from the doctor in to a baby store (like Baby Gap) and asked the employee to look at the sex and then pick something out that was blue or pink and wrap it up in a box. Then they went out to dinner and opened it. I thought it was cute, but I guess it's not that different than just taking the card out to dinner with you! :) No matter what I am sure it will be special, but I can't imagine how excited you must be!!

We had the tech write the gender on a paper. She sealed it and gave it to me to open at my leisure. The special part was finding out when we felt like it, on my time - it was papa who wanted to know, I was willing to wait, so this was our compromise. For my second child, we did the same thing, but I forgot the envelop at the office, picked it up a month later and then held onto it for another month or so and opened it when I was ready ... sitting in my office ... a little special private moment while at work (papa was overseas both times - the first time I flew to visit him and gave him the envelope, 2nd time ... he may have been in his office, overseas). Finding out before birth, but later then 20 weeks worked well for me, helped curb a 4 month potential shopping hazard and gave me more time to enjoy the secret.

Both times I found out in the doc office - I was just dying to know and waiting one more second would have been torture! The first time it was pretty darn obvious that he was a HE. The second time the tech actually asked me what I thought and I guessed correctly. :) Both times, the tech waited until they were done taking all of the other anatomical measurements before looking for the gender, so we were in suspense for several minutes. It's VERY cool though to see all of the other parts - the obvious feet and hands but also the different hemispheres of the brain, etc. So amazing! You'll be excited either way, so will it really matter when or how you find out? I cried right there in the lab when I saw that it was a girl!

I've had several friends do gender reveal stuff or wait until the baby is born to find out and they all said it was very anti-climatic - because you are super excited either way, especially for your first. I think gender reveal parties are kind of a silly trend, some are SO over the top. But I'm also not a big fan of baby showers. ha ha. Either way, it will be so fun to know what you're having!

So personal opinion clearly - but while those gender reveal parties seem SO clever and fun, i'll tell you finding out together (alone) was one of our most treasured moments. It was quiet (dark) and so exciting. We had thought it was a boy all along, and when the tech said it was a girl we both were so overwhelmed with emotion. Not sure if we would have had that silent treasured moment with friends and family cheering all around. While I love the idea of ANY party - i'd say that for US (specifically), doing it just us together right then and there was SUCH a treasured memory. Congrats to you - enjoy it! God's big surprise party for the two of you!

I saw a cute one where the dr called the bakery and they made a cake with the inside pink (it was a girl). The cake was cut after a big family dinner and they found out then. I thought that was cute and didn't require a ton of planning, etc.

We might just go to lunch at the restaurant we have shared some special moments before but its just a simple sort of place. We aren't really candlelight romantic dinner people. Probably because we are old farts :)

I want to know this second so I could never wait like you did. Im not worried about over shopping. I'm the kind of person that shops forever but doesn't buy that much so Ill need all the time I can get :)

You and I couldn't be more different on that front. I love a good party no matter what the reason. Weddings showers or whatever. Never having been to a gender reveal party I cant really say I like them or not but I would love to attend one. The bigger and more over the top the better as far as Im concerned. :)

Had to share my cute gender story. We had a family party and my brother and his wife had the doctor seal the gender of the baby in an envelope. We had everyone gathered around when they opened the envelope. They opened the envelope announced it was a boy...we all shouted and congratulated and such. My daughter, Kate who was about three at the time piped up "When are we having dessert?"

We just found out the gender of our baby yesterday morning. Early in our pregnancy I had wanted to do a gender reveal cake but ended up deciding that I didn't want to bother with hosting a party and wanted to find out sooner rather than later, make it more of a private moment etc. It's super special even at the doc's office so I'd go with whatever you feel like. I'm super happy we decided to just find out from the get go.

I was shopping at a Baby Gap where a couple picked out a blue outfit and a pink one... They gave the associate the ultrasound results, left him some cash, and stepped outside the store. The associate gift wrapped the appropriate outfit and gave it to the couple. The couple were then going to go to a special restaurant and open the box to reveal which outfit their newborn would be wearing home from the hospital! So clever and fun! Enjoy the moment!

I vote for finding out while you are alone. The moment we found out we were having a girl is a memory we will never forget but its not very personal while lying on the table with a stranger in the room. I'm so excited for you both!

Whatever you decide to do will be special between you & your spouse, no matter what. I would document that day somehow (it's easier for me to say this now because I didn't back then). And include all the names you had thought of - my kids love to hear what their names would have been had they been a girl or what other boy names we considered for them, etc. If you can hold out not hearing it in the ultrasound room, then I would do what the others suggested, go out to dinner, etc & rip open that envelope to find out :) Whatever you do will be special!

I think gender reveal parties are silly as well. I had numerous ultrasounds due to a genetic kidney disease that runs in my husband's family so while we were supposed to find out the gender at 20 weeks together, the ultrasound tech told me we were having a girl at my 16 week appointment. I was by myself and it was the most awesome experience. No pomp, no circumstance, just me and my girl. On the way home, I called and told my husband. We told the family by bringing a cake to Thanksgiving dinner that said "It's a girl". It took a while for it to sink in for them that the cake meant we were having a girl, it wasn't just a cheap cake we picked up a the grocery store. I definitely support the idea of just you & your husband finding out together at the ultrasound.

I did what a lot of the girls who commented on, I asked the tech write the gender and put it in an envelope and then my husband, daughter and I went out to dinner and we let our daughter reveal the gender to us. After that we waited a few days to let everyone else know, it was nice to have a little secret between the 3 of us. Now that everyone knows we're having a boy in October, we've decided to not reveal the name we picked out months ago. It's nice to give everyone a surprise, plus there's less opinions about the name after the baby is already named!! I hope your pregnancy is going smoothly and the days go by quick so you can find out the good news!

Have the tech put a clothes pin on the outfit that reflects the gender (obviously bring one of each) go somewhere private and pull out revealing the outfit and gender. However, I don't like knowing that anyone (the tech or someone else there) knows before I do. I'm the baby's mommy I want to know as soon as the tech knows!

My brother and sister-in-law had their appointment 2 days after Christmas. My sister-in-law couldn't wait so she bumped their appointment up to before Christmas, then on Christmas Eve they presented both grandmothers (at two different parties) with a gift they had to open. It was a picture frame of the ultrasound and it said It's A Girl.

When my mom opened hers, she focused on the picture first and then started to cry when she realized what it was really saying. We all had tears in our eyes.

I've never had a baby, but I think the intimacy of the ultrasound room may be kind of nice! Plus you can "see" the baby when you find out, so it's like the three of you are together and can all look at each other :) Maybe that's cheesy. The only similar thing I can think of was getting engaged - I was so glad my now husband decided to propose in a private lovely spot where we could just smile and giggle and be excited together - then share with friends later. But I'm usually a "need to soak things in before I can share" person so the same thing maybe wouldn't be your ideal situation. I'm sure whatever you do will be great!

At the hospital I've had all my US done with both my pregnancies they have an "official" no tell policy, since there is small chance the tech could be wrong. I guess they don't want you to be told one thing, go out and do all this stuff, paint a nursery, buy clothes and then oops! and end up blaming the hospital or tech. I wonder how often that happens though, that they get it wrong...

Anyhow, because of this official policy, both times we had to ask the tech to tell us, it was not offered, and it felt like such a clandestine undertaking. I felt lucky just to find out there and then, forget about special parties, dinners or whatnot :-)

We adopted our sweet girl and it was one of those "you've been chosen by a birth mother and she's in labor!" We raced to the hospital and had no idea if we were about to have a girl or boy. At the hospital the nurse found us near the elevators. She asked, "were you hoping for a pink bracelet or a blue one?" and she put a pink hospital bracelet on my wrist. Not a romantic place, but truly unforgettable! I suggest you go with the moment. If you want to know that second, have the tech tell you. If you can wait one minute, have the tech write it down and step out so you can find out in private. All the best to you!

Congrats - I am due in November and have been following your blog for awhile! My husband and I found out the day of and planned on having our fam and friends over for a little reveal. We did the balloons idea. The only downside was obviously we had to plan everything that same day so it was a little stressful. I ordered cupcakes in pink and blue and had streamers then we bought a box at UPS and filled it only with 4 balloons. Wish we had a lot more for a bigger impact. We had multiple people filming and it was just as special. So cool to watch the vid and hear everyone screaming. Have fun with it!! Congrats again :) Vee

No pictures are allowed at the ultrasound so that isn't an option but Im not so worried about filming it per se, Im just wondering if it would be nice to have a quiet moment somewhere special or does it really matter.

I guess I didn't really explain myself that well in the post b/c Im all for that idea - im just wondering where we should open it up. If Im just going to bring it back to my living room, it feels a bit silly to bother taking the results away. I'd like to do something a little bit special just the two of us but Im drawing a blank on what.

The waiting definitely feels like torture to me too. If I am going to hold off for even a few more hours I feel like I want to have something special planned for the moment. Otherwise, I will not be able to resist finding out right away.

In either situation, there wont be any friends or family there so its not really a privacy thing. Its more about removing myself from a clinical setting to get some exciting news. Maybe Im the only one but I dont find ultrasound rooms to be all that happy of places.

I adore the idea of gender reveal parties. Pink and blue cupcakes, people taking sides, discussion on whether you're having a boy because you're carrying low or a girl because your sweet tooth is out of control. It just sounds like so much fun! I would have loved to do this except for two things: first, my husband could absolutely, positively NOT wait a second longer to find out. Second, we didn't need the tech to tell us what sex our baby was. Our little exhibitionist made it very easy to tell he was a boy.

Regardless of what you do, I hope Baby Limestone cooperates so you won't have to wait until the next ultrasound appointment! Whether you find out right then or later, it's going to be and exciting and special moment.

Is there a cute little bakery near where you live? Perhaps where you can speak with or know the owner having worked with them before? Ask the US tech if they could either call/email the message "Limestone Blue" or "Limestone Pink" to the bakery owner, or give you a sealed note that says the same to give them. You and the hubs could go pick up the goods that has been placed in a plain white box. You won't know until you open or cut into it. Pick up your cupcake, take along a picnic basket and enjoy a fun outing in the Brooklyn Gardens or other spot you enjoy. Save the cupcake for last. Or better yet, have dessert first! No matter what you do, enjoy the moment. You'll always remember it. Congrats!!

i think too much emphasis is placed on capturing all the special moments on camera. i feel like all the photo taking takes us out of the moment. finding out the gender right from the tech's mouth - just you and your hubby would be really special and intimate. how about writing a letter to the wee one right after you find out and take a picture of you two to enclose with it? it would make a great item for a baby book and you still have those crazy smiley photos to look back on.

I think the cake thing is so darn cute, no one thought of stuff like this when I had my babies 14 yrs ago . I wanted to know also , I don't know how people wait at all. I sure hope your baby cooperates and lets you in on the big secret. My first stayed tightly folded , time and time again . We found out she was a girl two days before her birth at an ultrasound , the tech looked at us and asked if we wanted to know , duh , yes !!! I went right home and sewed some simple white and blue curtains, silly, but it was very exciting . Second time we found out at the 18 week ultra sound , both times right there on the table, surreal.

That happened to me. Told I was having a girl and ended up having a boy. Didn't know until they pulled him out in the c-section. We had a pink room, closet full of clothes, a personalized x-mas stocking and a beautiful name. "She" was our second after our son so changing the room was a big deal. It was a very hard thing to go through. It wasn't that I didn't want another boy but the fact that I had a specific future planned in my head. I can totally see why they do that. I wouldn't want anyone else to go through that!

How about just set up your video camera on a tripod and film the two of you opening it together? Then again, I don't think I would want my youngest to see a video of the face her father had when he learned we were having another girl! But with the first, it doesn't matter so go for it!sueathome.wordpress.com

Some friends of mine had the tech seal it in an envelope. Then they took the envelope to a bakery that they went to often. They ask the baker to take the envelope and open it and bake a cupcake with pink or blue filling. That night they had a romantic dinner at home and shared the cupcake for desert. To their delight It had pink filling!!!! They were oh so happy and I thought it was a grand idea that they shared that moment just the two of them together

Both times I found out about the baby's sex in the ultrasound room from very nonchalant technicians telling me the baby's sex in a very cold, matter of fact way but the news just made my world rock! so...I would say it doesn't matter how you find out, it is an exciting news, an overwhelming one. Good Luck!

Take the envelope to your favorite baker and have them make a cake for two in either pink or blue (white frosting). Don't forget to set up your video camera! enjoy with your husband just the two of you!

First off, my experience: It's kind of dark in the ultrasound room, you're close to eachother, we were holding hands, looking at that little wonder growing in my tummy and the tech asked if we wanted to find out. I couldn't have waited longer, and being there, seeing the little baby, it was very very special. Our heads were spinning all day, knowing it's a boy/girl makes it so real!As to advice for making it even more special, sitting together by candlelight with a waiter or other restaurant guests around is kind of the same as in the hospital (IMO). I could think something very private like in a ferris wheel, or a rowing boat could be cool, but I just couldn't have waited to get there, and opening the envelope in the car on the way there would've been silly :)

I guess I don't feel the ultrasound room is all that intimate. At least not in a good way. I find the ultrasounds or any time at a hospital/doctors office to be very stressful so maybe thats why Im trying to seperate the reveal from the clincal setting of the office?

I think the cake idea is so sweet when you have a crowd but it feels a bit contrived when its just the two of us. Not to mention the very last thing I need right now in my fatty state is a whole cake to feast on :)

No, not a huge cake. One of those little cakes meant for 2 people or a cupcake. And you are by no means fat, my dear. And if not, just go someplace special together. Some place in Brooklyn, or Manhattan, wherever, that means a lot to both of you. Place of first date, engagement, place where you just like to spend time together. Maybe the middle of Grand Central Station. Open the news amidst the hustle and bustle of the crowds, while you tune out the noise and the both of you focus on what's in that envelope. Whatever is special to you and the hubs, just enjoy the moment. You can share the story with your little one one day. BTW, I'm thinking pink for you. ;^)

Ultrasound rooms, especially at my OB's office, are some of the most stressful places in the world for my husband and I. We found out the worst news of our lives in one, and every appointment we had in on for my daughter (and there were several), was fraught with fear and tension.

We went for sushi after our (early - 17w) anatomy scan - mine was cooked, and I wish we had opened an envelope there. I was a mess in the room itself; I was so focused on making sure that my baby was healthy that by the time the tech revealed the sex I just lost my composure completely and started sobbing. Next time we are ordering cupcakes or a cake, or doing something else cute and celebratory, and my daughter will be the one to find out first. We need to separate the experience of being pregnant with the experience of welcoming a new member of our family, and next time we are going to focus all of our energy on doing so.

So in short (sorry about the book), I think that you could do anything from getting a cupcake, to buying a gender specific toy or outfit, getting a piece of art for the nursery, or even something simple like buying blueberries or raspberries at a local famers' market. If you feel like it is too contrived, remember that you can share your experience with us, and then all the pomp and circumstance is incredibly necessary. This is one of my favorite reveals I've seen, and it is because it is perfectly them.

We wanted to do something fun and cool too, but ended up saying "yes", when the tech asked us if we wanted to know. She typed "It's a GIRL" across the screen. We had decided to go get cupcakes (pink) to celebrate. You can take the piece of paper to a bakery and have them make a 6" cake (color the batter) and frost in white so it is a surprise when you cut into it. Or go to a baby store and ask them to pick out a blanket or onesie in pink or blue, have it wrapped.

This isn't quite so exciting as those reveals but we loved it...I made a pretty little card on sweet cardstock for the midwife to write the sex on. My husband and I went out to dinner that night, just the two of us and opened it at dessert. There were no photos, just a moment between my husband and I. It was very special and I will always remember it. We had a boy, he's almost three now. When my daughter was born (one year ago) we didn't find out until she was born. That was pretty special too. No way I could have done that the first time around though!

On our first we had the nurse write it down in an envelope, and we went out to dinner with our immediate families that night. My husband proposed a toast to our new baby.... (open the envelope) boy! It was a great was to share the special moment with our whole family. On the second my cousin who is also a photographer took the envelope from me and planned this entire photoshoot- which was so much fun for our three year old. http://oneprojectatatime.blogspot.com/2012/05/our-next-big-project.html

If it's just the two of you, I definitely recommend hearing about it later... even if you just go out to dinner the 2 of you and open the envelope there. A friend of mine brought Pink and Blue sprinkles to their favorite restaurant, handed an envelope to their server and kindly asked him to sprinkle their dessert with one or the other depending on what was in the envelope. All the servers at the restaurant got caught up in the excitement, and the whole restaurant ended up cheering with them as they opened their eyes and saw their dessert. If you could ask someone to take your photo as well, it will give you a story to tell for years to come.

Anyway you do it- it's such a rare and exciting moment in your life. Celebrate it! Good luck!

We had the tech write it and put it in an envelope and we went to the spot we were married (a historic theater in Ann Arbor, MI) and stood at the very place we said our vows on our wedding day to open the envelope and find out we would have a daughter! I think however you choose to find out, it is such a special moment...the gravity of knowing you will have a son or a daughter in one instant changes the bond (at least for me) with the baby immediately to something deeper. Can't wait to hear what you do!

Our 20 week ultrasound ended up being way more stressful than I hoped for...they identified several markers for concerns, which ended up being nothing after all, but we left there with our envelope with "girl" inside, and the weight of the possible issues heavier on our minds. I posted above that we went to the site we were married at to open the envelope, and even in tearful, worried moments following the u/s, we were able to have a special moment removed from the u/s room that had just been the place we were given concerning news. I agree that separating the two can make it more special :)

Congrats Stephanie! I'm so excited for you both :) I think you should have the tech write it down in an envelope and after your appointment, go open it together in your car :) Maybe quickly drive somewhere peaceful if the parking lot is busy :) I think (for me at least) so many great talks happen in the car so why not discover your baby's gender in the car! Then you can share your true emotions; scream, cry, hold each other, bounce up and down, turn on your favorite song, make out, etc! Don't forget to snap a pic of both of you with the card (preferably the arm extended, slightly off centered cell phone pic)! Except maybe you don't have a car because you guys are seriously so cool and don't need a car because you live in the city! In that case, I have been no help :) Either way - sending best wishes your way!

We did not find out the sex of any of our 3 children beforehand BUT our obstetrician asked the names we had chosen and when he was delivering our baby he and the nurses starting singing "Happy Birthday" and paused when the got to the name...then told us the it was a boy or girl with the name we had chosen! It was a really fabulous thing he did...made my C-section not so clinical!

Hey, just checked in again, congratulations on finding out! Cute idea with the cocktails :) Looking forward to your nursery plans, but don't stress too much, babies don't know if their room is picture-perfect magazine-pictures looking or a work in progress :) Moreover I find that some things I had prepared before having baby living in there were not as practical as I thought, so I've been changing some things around already a few times, and he's only 9 months :) Greetings from Brussels!