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THE HUMORS OF PORT CHALMERS.

The " Wonganul Herald" Is responsible for the following : — An event which will probably drag oar tain of the aotors before the Dlvoroe Oonrfc li the ocoaslon of considerable popular excitement at Port Chalmers. A certain well known offiolal who resides at Port Chalmers some year or bo ago parted with the wife of hla bosom temporarily to allow her to visit friends at a distance for a week. Taking pity on his grass wldowerhood a friend aeked him to stay with him while hla wife was away. Unfortunately the friend had • goodlooking wife, and the official seems to have sought oonsolation for his own wife's absence by devoting himself to his friend 1 ! ■pooae. Id due ooarie the friend's wif« presented her spouse with a remarkably fin* child, whloh some kind friends said did not resemble him m the least, but whloh did reproduce with remarkable fidelity certain peonliarlties of oomplexlon noticeable la the official. With aufh a degree of filial anxiety did this estimable child desire to imitate iti pa, and betray the pareptage, that even the dootor m a jooalar way remarked on the likeness. This was only taken as a joke at this time, and not until two months after did the friend's wife confess that the official was the aotual father of the child. When this did ocoar, however, the buabsnd rlplted the official and demanded some satisfaction. To add Insult to fojary, tha sednoer asked the husband to huah the matfcsr for money payment. This was Indignantly refused, and the matter beoame public The husband's cause was taken up with an enthusiasm the Port has never shown any sign of possessing before. Not content with giving vent to their exeoration of the deceiver m ordinary ways, the •Itlzens got up a monster prooes* slon, headed by the Garrison Band playing the Daad Maroh m Saul. On a trolly drawn by two borsei was a welL-sxeoptfld effigy of the gay tinner; end behind him a figure representing Aqld Olootle with the orthodox horns, hpofs, tall, and pit oh fork. Also on the trolly were a judge, two lawyers, and twelve jurymen. Between 830 and 9 this party drew up before the offender's house, and having vented their feelings In groans and hoots went on their way to the reclaimed land, when he was duly tried (In effigy), condemned, hung, and burned to the tun* of a Salvation 4rray hymn. Then the prooesslon returned to Port, the Band playiag " The Girl 1 left Behind me." Old residents of the Port say such popular excitement has never been seen there pravlously.

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