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Saturday, September 21, 2013

This week's (mostly lack of) accomplishments

I’ve got myself a sleek new shnazzy
laptop.Name yet to be determined. This
laptop arrived in the nick of time – for my week of being an absolute couch
potato.After last week’s insane yard
working extravaganza, this week was pretty much the complete opposite.My butt barely left the sofa.I’ve had the nastiest cold that was
accompanied by the most annoying hacking cough that ya ever did hear.Really. So annoying.One night I was hacking so much at 3am, I
woke Kayliana up.She told Mike, in a
very concerned voice, “Mommy’s coughing.” Yes, yes she is.

This week, Matthew lost his, I don’t know, 50th
tooth (our boys are freakishly ahead of losing teeth – they’re very
advanced.I should brag about how
amazing they are and so above average in this way.It’s a gift).He left a note for the tooth fairy that said, “Dear Tooth Fairy, Insted
of money, please give me the Lego Star Wars Commander Rex. Love, Matthew P.S.
What do you look like.”

So, here’s what I don’t like: stinkin’
overachieving parents.Yes, you know who
you are.You’re the ones that do not
just one but ALL the over-the-top mom-of-the-year ideas that you find on
Pinterest.You make the rest of us look
really bad.And I don’t appreciate
it.How dare you!My parenting plan is to set the bar so low,
to keep my childrens’ expectations in the pits so that when I do anything above
and beyond the call of duty (for example feeding or bathing them) that they are
pleasantly surprised and touched with my level of love and commitment to their
well-being.

With the boys being in school for a few years
now, they come home with more and more of these elaborate dreams based on what
other kids tell them.“Oh, the Tooth Fairy
left me $20.” (Suddenly those two shiney quarters next to Matthew’s alarm clock
lose their luster).“Oh, the Tooth Fairy
brought me a brand new Lego set.” (Matthew starts wondering what he ever did to
the Tooth Fairy).“Oh, the Tooth Fairy
brought me a Ferarri convertible.” (Matthew probably starts considering moving in
with another family to see if this improves his standing with the Tooth Fairy).

Well, I have news for you, over-achieving
parents: I don’t appreciate you and you smell bad.You stink!

Matthew came down the next morning with
shoulders slumped and bottom lip protruding.

“What’s up, kiddo?” (Knowing that I would
just have to hear about how lame I am).

“The Tooth Fairy totally ignored my
note.She didn’t even do anything but
leave $0.50…like usual.”Stupid, lame
Tooth Fairy.Ahh, well.Like I said, I’m not about to start being
awesome with my oldest kid.Then, I’d
just have to continue the charade of awesome parent for years to come.And, let’s face it, that’s just exhausting.

While I may not spoil my children (in some
ways…in other ways, I’m sure, many would argue they are spoiled rotten), I DO
plan on spoiling a new child in my life.I shan’t elaborate on details as they aren’t mine to announce (and I
know we do share some of the same readers), but last night I was blessed beyond
belief to be with our best friends, Jason and Rebecca, as Rebecca gave birth to
her fourth child, the newest member of our clan, and Mike’s and my Godchild.
(The Baptism will be in November. I can’t wait!)Rebecca, as always, was incredible and I’m
just so touched and moved that she loves me enough to ask me to be there.I LOVE this baby SO very much and can’t
believe what a joy it is to have such incredible friends who really are family.