My son is 4 1/2 months, he is exclusively bf and we co-sleep. He wakes up very often at night to nurse (more than 7 times). He is a very tough baby to soothe. Sometimes I am nursing and slowly rocking him on a rocking chair to get him to sleep. And he gets very fussy when the sleepiness kicks in. he grunts and cries and fights the sleep. At first I wasnt going to worry about teaching him self soothing, but I now think it will benefit him quite a bit. One reason is because he screams and gets so worked up when in the car, mostly because he is sleepy but cannot soothe himself to sleep. I dread going anywhere. He is so difficult to get to sleep. He is often sleep deprived and very fussy because of it. Also, his naps are always very short because he wakes up and I cannot soothe him back to sleep even by nursing. Things got a little better when we are at home all day and I follow a strict schedule, but whenever we are out or visiting family it is bad. So my question is are there any books out there to help without crying it out. Anyone thats read the no cry sleep solution think it will benefit us in our situation? Are any methods for co sleepers?? or do I pretty much need to get him used to sleeping in his crib in order to learn to self soothe? Thanks in advance!!!

January 7th, 2013, 04:57 AM

@llli*mammi

Re: no cry sleep solution

At this age it is normal for your baby to wake up often and look to you to soothe him. You are his mom and he needs you to soothe him. I think teaching the child to self soothe is by far overrated. He will learn to soothe himself but his age he needs you. It is normal that he wants you. Co-sleeping helps so you do not need to get up.

Have you considered using a carrier? Sling? Wrap? If you can try different models do that. sometimes shops let you try them for a day or you could perhaps borrow one to try. This wont help with the car but perhaps it will help him go to sleep if you carry him. I found it very helpful when I got all crazy because he was fussing and crying just to wrap him in the wrap ( I used a babylonia) and get out, rather than stay indoors cooped up with a screaming child.

Not all babys like cars, most apparently fall asleep in cars but my boy did not when he was very young, he hated drives and for a while we drove nowhere we did not need to go but it was a phase and he eventually liked it, when his body was larger and he fit the seat better it changed.

When you visit family, do they all touch him and want to hold him? I found this was upsetting for my son when he was little to be fondled by a number of people - carrying him in sling helps because it will prevent people from touching him easily.

Most of all remember that every week he grows and changes, whatever is the situation now will change rapidly week by week and he will eventually learn to soothe himself in his own time. No need to teach him (to be honest I don't think it is even possible, I think they only learn to give up even with those "no cry" techniques).

January 7th, 2013, 10:50 AM

@llli*manitobamommy

Re: no cry sleep solution

Yeah, I found the "no cry sleep solution" helpful in soothing my concerns and avoiding CIO (though we did end up using Dr. Jay Gordon's method a little later on with DS), but not really all that effective in terms of finding a "solution" to getting my high needs baby to sleep longer, but it's possible I just wasn't patient enough. 4.5 months is still very young for sleep training, even for the more "hard core" approaches. I know it feels like forever that you have been dealing with this, but it will get better eventually. All babies eventually learn to sleep longer. One thing to keep in mind - high needs babies turn into high needs children. It's a temperamental thing. You can't turn a high needs baby into an easy baby by sleep training. We resorted to sleep training at 12 months because I was working and couldn't function otherwise, but it was not easy on any of us and it's not a cure-all. Hang in there!!!

January 7th, 2013, 12:37 PM

@llli*mercystreet

Re: no cry sleep solution

I think the No Cry Sleep Solution is a good read. It's not going to "cure" all your sleep issues or change the fundamental nature of your baby. But it gives solid and accessible info about infant sleep so that you will have a realistic idea of what you can reasonably expect from a baby at different ages and stages. It has suggestions for techniques and habits for all types of babies - crib sleepers and co-sleepers, bottle fed and breastfed, paci users or not. It is not going to teach you ways to "make your baby self soothe." But it will give you ideas for gentle techniques you can incorporate into your sleep routines and practices so that you can encourage baby to sleep longer/better (or at least that's the idea). Gentle means gradual. If you want fast changes, it's probably not the book for you.

For what it's worth, we've incorporated quite a few ideas from the book and seen some incremental improvements in some areas, but nothing radical. I've just accepted that there are some things about my baby's sleep (or lack of it) that are just who he is, and I can't MAKE my baby do anything he's not ready to do. All I can do is create a consistent and encouraging sleep environment and hope that we can promote healthy sleep habits as he grows. So that's really what I've gotten from the book.

January 7th, 2013, 07:12 PM

@llli*debbers

Re: no cry sleep solution

Quote:

Originally Posted by @llli*anarevalo1122

Hello!!

My son is 4 1/2 months, he is exclusively bf and we co-sleep. He wakes up very often at night to nurse (more than 7 times). He is a very tough baby to soothe. He screams and gets so worked up when in the car, mostly because he is sleepy but cannot soothe himself to sleep. I dread going anywhere. He is so difficult to get to sleep.

My DD, now almost 6 months, was very tough to soothe. Really tough till 3 months and later we had a 4 month growth spurt that seemed to last 2 weeks. These days, it's getting better bit by bit. But she did and still does hate the car and I too dread trips out. My DH is a saint - if I have weekend errands we go together - he drives, I sit in back with DD. I nurse before we leave but always have to nurse more when we are out. Honestly if at all possible I avoid car trips where it's just me and her. Even with nursing prior to departure I get a meltdown more than 50 percent of the time and it does not end with sleep. It ends with uncontrollable sobbing, snot dripping out of her nose and choking noises.