Tracie Egan Morrissey

If the fashion world were like high school, the Met Ball would be like the prom, whereas the CFDA Awards are more like the stoner scene under the bleachers, where the creative types, misfits and loners can let their freak flags fly high, secure in the knowledge that defying conventions is actually super cool.

The annual Costume Institute Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art is the biggest, fanciest, most…
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At an event like this, the hands of Diane von Furstenberg's gown, Brad Goreski's obnoxious print, and Adrienne Landau's spider webs come off as fun instead of gimmicky.

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Rachel Zoe's long-sleeved paillettes was my favorite of the evening. So do you think she and Brad completely avoided each other all night, or did they maybe exchange tight silent smiles from across the room? Is their fight water under the bridge or is the bridge still burned? I can't believe I've literally spent tens of minutes thinking about these scenarios today.

Separately, I love Solange's woven clutch and her giant-crystal dress (yellow is her color), but together not so much.

What I appreciate about Michelle Harper's style is that even when she's deliberately exposing a nipple, you can tell that she doesn't dress for the enjoyment of anyone else other than herself.

I was about to say something like, "I wonder if the Olsen twins will still be posing stomach-to-stomach when they're 80," but that's stupid because imagining them as little old ladies is not difficult at all.

From afar, Anna Wintour's dress appeared to be a brunch-y floral print, but it's actually sequins arranged in a pattern.

Vogue's creative director Grace Coddington is the epitome of an artsy fashion weirdo.

On the certain legs, Dakota Fanning's shoes could be a cankles nightmare.

Blues: Heather Graham, Hilary Rhoda, and Jessica Stam.

Orange you glad: Julianne Hough, Sophia Bush, and Keren Craig.

Black: Zoe Saldana, Doutzen Kroes, and Padma Lakshmi.

White: Selita Ebanks, Joan Smalls, and Mandy Moore.

Floral: Stacey Bendet, Kay Unger, and Devon Aoki.

I approve of anything that resembles a kaftan: Ally Hilfiger, Vivienne Tam, and Stephanie Winston Wolkoff.

The only thing that's good about Kate Bosworth's dress is her belly-dancer belt, so that you're at least alerted to when she's close, so you can stop talking shit about how gross the rest of it is.

I've been trying to come up with something to say about Karolina Kurkova's dress and superhero cape, but the fact of the matter is that words can't rally do its ugliness justice.

Betsey Johnson looks like an overly-decorated cell phone, with useless trinkets and toys dangling from it.

If you put your hand over Jessica Pare's skirt, she looks really good. Did you ever see Creep Show? Christine Czetwertynski looks like Ted Danson's seaweed ghost that comes back to haunt Leslie Nielsen. Sorry for the spoiler. Erin Fetherston's disco lamé is kind of lame.