Bitch Media - bisexualhttp://bitchmagazine.org/taxonomy/term/5879/0
enVisi(bi)lity: Good-bi, Friends!http://bitchmagazine.org/post/visibility-good-bi-friends-bisexuality-media-feminism
<p><img style="float: left; margin: 10px;" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7100/6968534272_cf025e2640_m.jpg" alt="A Bi Pride flag ripples in the breeze. There is a wide pink strip on top, a wide blue strip on the bottom, and a thin purple strip in the middle. Trees and sunlight are visible in the background." height="157" width="234" />It has been a privilege and pleasure to write for Bitch for the last eight weeks. Thanks to Kelsey and Kjerstin for all of their support, and thank you to everyone who read, commented on, and shared my posts. As a long-time Bitch fan, I've felt honored to share this space with you and participate in much-needed conversations about the state of bisexual visibility in the media.</p>
<p>When I embarked on this series, I felt confident that I understood the problems that exist in bisexual representation. Specifically, I thought about texts like <a href="/post/visibility-biphobia-bingo-a-look-at-basic-instinct-feminist-film" target="_blank"><em>Basic Instinct</em></a>, which depicts bisexual women as dangerous and deceitful;&nbsp;<a href="/post/visibility-glee%E2%80%99s-problem-with-bisexual-men-television-feminism" target="_blank"><em>Glee</em></a>, which depicts bisexual men as non-existent plot devices who lack personal agency; and <a href="/post/visibility-queer-as-folk-broke-my-heart-feminist-television-sexuality" target="_blank"><em>Queer as Folk</em></a> and <a href="/post/visibility-the-l-word%E2%80%99s-messy-exploration-of-straight-privilege-feminism-sexuality" target="_blank"><em>The L Word</em></a>, which depict gay communities as insensitive (if not directly hostile) to their bi compatriots. While portrayals such as these are certainly not anomalies, and while they honestly reflect the lack of understanding our society has about bisexuality, I now see that these images are symptomatic of a much larger issue: in general, bisexuals tend to be depicted in relation to how they are perceived by straight and gay people. We don't see nearly as many images of bi people from bi perspectives, which means critical conversations tend to be overlooked. I see that beginning to change, with <a href="/post/visibility-post-bi-what-skins-can-teach-us-about-labels-feminism-television" target="_blank"><em>Skins</em></a> taking such a straightforward approach to sexual fluidity and <a href="/post/visibility-finding-realism-in-rose-by-any-other-name-web-series-sexuality-feminism" target="_blank"><em>Rose By Any Other Name</em></a> (one of the few examples of bi-produced media that I covered) chronicling a bisexual coming-out process sensitively and realistically. Though we should continue to speak out against stereotypes and slanderous representations, we need to push harder for bi stories framed around the bi folks themselves. Only then will the community truly become visible.</p>
<p><a href="/post/visibility-finding-realism-in-rose-by-any-other-name-web-series-sexuality-feminism" target="_blank">As I mentioned in an earlier post</a>, I've loved having the opportunity to hear from readers about bi-centric media that I didn't already know about. I wish I had been able to review all of the recommendations I received and and discuss them in depth, but eight weeks is a surprisingly short amount of time. Most notably, many people have suggested I check out <em>Lost Girl</em>, a Canadian drama (recently picked up by Syfy) <a href="http://www.afterellen.com/people/2010/11/an-interview-with-anna-silk" target="_blank">with a bisexual protagonist</a>, and though I haven't had a chance to watch it yet, it's high on my list of Must-See TV. I'm less enthusiastic about <em>Smash</em>, <a href="http://thinkprogress.org/alyssa/2012/04/04/457367/smash-revenge-and-mad-mens-sneaky-bisexuals-and-bitchy-blondes/" target="_blank">NBC's new series that is apparently filled with biphobic fail</a>, but my weakness for musical theater means that I will surely not keep away much longer. I'm also anxiously awaiting the release of <a href="http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/18260129/superhighs" target="_blank"><em>The Superhighs</em></a>, a comic book that will follow lesbian and bisexual superheroes (how cool is that?!). For better or worse, bisexuality really is omnipresent in the media right now; though this space will no longer be active, I can only hope we'll find other places to continue this dialogue as more representations are encountered.</p>
<p>So, truly, thank you again for indulging me in my analysis of bisexuality and the media. This has been a wonderful experience for me, and I hope you've enjoyed it, too.</p>
<p><strong>Previously:</strong> <a href="/post/visibility-chasing-amy-bisexuality-film-feminism-identity" target="_blank">How Did I Get Here? (or: What Chasing Amy Taught Me About Media and Identity)</a>, <a href="/post/visibility-toward-a-visible-movement-bisexuality-activism-feminism-media" target="_blank">Toward a Visible Movement</a></p>
http://bitchmagazine.org/post/visibility-good-bi-friends-bisexuality-media-feminism#commentsbisexualbisexual visibilitybisexualityfilmgoodbyesmediatelevisionVisi(bi)litySex and SexualityThu, 26 Apr 2012 21:01:37 +0000Carrie Nelson16505 at http://bitchmagazine.orgVisi(bi)lity: How Did I Get Here? (or: What Chasing Amy Taught Me About Media and Identity)http://bitchmagazine.org/post/visibility-chasing-amy-bisexuality-film-feminism-identity
<p><img style="float: left; margin: 10px;" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7263/7111366571_84ac65a8d0.jpg" alt="Movie poster for "Chasing Amy." A blonde woman faces front with her chin over her shoulder. Written over her shoulder are the names of Ben Affleck, Joey Lauren Adams and Jason Lee. The title is in the center, below Lee's name. In the top right corner is the tagline, "It's not who you love. It's how." Below the title is illegibly small text. The coloring is blue-tinted with bright white highlights." height="281" width="186" />When I was 11, I saw <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EiATQ04pH14" target="_blank">the trailer for <em>Chasing Amy</em></a>. I don't remember why it caught my attention—I didn't recognize the actors, and I don't think I consciously knew what it was about. It certainly wasn't targeted toward 11-year-olds, so I'm not even sure where I saw the ad. But something in my gut told me that this was a movie I needed to see. It was the first time I experienced such a strong, immediate response to a movie, let alone a trailer.</p>
<p>Of course, I'd have to wait awhile. My parents, always acting sensibly, didn't let me see it in theatres. (In hindsight, I can't blame them.) But a couple years later, once my parents let me walk to the video store and rent movies on my own, I watched <em>Chasing Amy</em> on VHS. I loved it. It was the funniest movie I'd ever seen, and I quickly decided that Kevin Smith had usurped Steven Spielberg's place in my heart and become my favorite director. More than anything, though, the film made me think. I had known gay people throughout my life and I understood what homosexuality meant, but until I saw <em>Chasing Amy</em>, it hadn't occurred to me that some people could be attracted to more than one gender. This realization suddenly made me start to understand certain feelings I had experienced since the sixth grade. Within a year of seeing the film, I became friends with a girl my age who identified as bisexual, I started high school, and I joined the Gay-Straight Alliance. The more involved I became in the LGBT community, the more I recognized my own attraction to women. In the summer of 2001, when I was 15, I came out to my friends and family as bisexual.</p>
<p>Here's the big problem I have with <em>Chasing Amy</em>: the word "bisexual" is never used. For those who haven't seen it, the basic plot is: boy meets girl, boy finds out girl is a lesbian, boy propositions girl anyway, girl surprises him by saying yes, girl loses her gay friends, boy starts acting like a jerk, girl dumps boy and starts exclusively dating women again. (Not the most romantic movie, is it?) What's interesting about Alyssa ("girl") is that she's open to experiencing sexuality and finding love in any number of ways. She has a history with men, but because she primarily enjoys sex and relationships with women, she claims the term "gay." When she decides to start a relationship with Holden ("boy"), she tells him it's because she doesn't want to "limit the likelihood of finding that one person who'd complement me so completely." But at no point does she change her identification. From start to finish, Alyssa identifies as a lesbian, and because of this, the viewer expects her relationship with Holden to fail.</p>
<p>Alyssa's self-identification and character arc perplexed me, but it also reinforced a reality I experienced constantly throughout high school. Most people around me weren't as psyched as I was about my newfound bisexuality. It wasn't that they were homophobic—they weren't. They just didn't understand how I was able to like more than one gender. I was told I was confused. I was told I had to pick a side. I was told it was a phase. And because these messages bombarded me in life and in the media, I let them sink in. So when I was 17, I picked a side. Knowing that I fall closer to the 6 than the 0 on the Kinsey Scale, I came out as a lesbian. It wasn't an arbitrary or even a conscious decision. It just felt like the option available to me.</p>
<p><img style="float: right; margin: 10px;" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7069/7111367783_993e41abdd.jpg" alt="A man and a woman sit on a swing set on the beach. The sky is overcast and the coloring is grey and bleak. Both the man and the woman are wearing several layers of casual clothing. They face each other, in conversation." height="195" width="344" />You already know the end of the story: I'm back to identifying as bisexual. Once I fell in love with Anders, the man who's now my husband, I started giving serious thought to these labels we have and what they mean. In an attempt to better understand my feelings, I gave <em>Chasing Amy</em> another viewing. I thought again about Alyssa's explanation for dating Holden, "to not limit the likelihood of finding that one person who'd complement me so completely." It finally occurred to me that, while <em>Chasing Amy </em>doesn't actually talk about bisexuality, it promotes the message that you won't find what you want until you open yourself up to unexpected possibilities. And that's been true for me.</p>
<p><em>Chasing Amy</em> is a complicated text. Other than Alyssa, none of the characters are especially sympathetic. They compete with one another to make sure she chooses the "right" team. No one seems all that interested in her desires and intentions. Even Holden, who purports to be the person who loves Alyssa most, laments that they'll never be "a normal couple." This could be a commentary on biphobia, but because bisexuality isn't named or addressed directly, I doubt that it is. I think the more likely explanation is that Kevin Smith doesn't understand queer identity politics as well as he thinks he does. But in one scene, the scene when Alyssa is allowed a moment to speak and explain why she's dating Holden—"to not limit the likelihood of finding that one person who'd complement me so completely"—we get a completely candid and refreshing take on non-monosexuality. That scene makes the rest of the film, problematic though it may be, worth watching.</p>
<p>I'm telling you this story because it summarizes the reason I wanted to write about this topic for Bitch in the first place. The media—and our relationship to it—is complicated. A work can simultaneously validate our lived experiences and force us to conform to specific norms. This complexity is particularly apparent in depictions of bisexual and other non-monosexual people, but because media watchdog organizations like GLAAD don't prioritize bi issues the way they prioritize other queer issues, these flawed depictions often go unchecked. All we can do is recognize the positive elements and document the flaws, so that we can move toward better, more honest, and more affirming portrayals of bisexuality. If there's anything I've conveyed throughout this series, I hope that's it.</p>
<p><strong>Related:</strong> <a href="http://escholarship.org/uc/item/0t48f24b" target="_blank">The B Word: Chasing Amy and the Bisexual (In)Visibility in Cinema and Media</a>, <a href="http://likestoramble.com/2010/05/21/chasing-amy/" target="_blank">Chasing Amy </a></p>
<p><strong>Previously:</strong> <a href="/post/visibility-toward-a-visible-movement-bisexuality-activism-feminism-media" target="_blank">Toward a Visible Movement</a>, <a href="/post/visibility-social-media-bisexuality-feminism-identity" target="_blank">Is Social Media the Final Visi(bi)lity Frontier?</a></p>
http://bitchmagazine.org/post/visibility-chasing-amy-bisexuality-film-feminism-identity#commentsbisexualbisexual visibilitybisexualityChasing Amycoming-of-agefilmKevin SmithmoviesVisi(bi)litySex and SexualityWed, 25 Apr 2012 18:56:15 +0000Carrie Nelson16490 at http://bitchmagazine.orgVisi(bi)lity: Toward a Visible Movementhttp://bitchmagazine.org/post/visibility-toward-a-visible-movement-bisexuality-activism-feminism-media
<p>Over the weekend, <a href="http://www.bilerico.com/2012/04/professional_bisexual_an_interview_with_one_of_the.php" target="_blank">The Bilerico Project published a fascinating interview with Ellyn Ruthstrom</a>, a seasoned bi activist who became the first and only paid staff member at the <a href="http://biresource.net/" target="_blank">Bisexual Resource Center</a> in 2011. Unfortunately, BRC's current lack of funding prevents Ruthstrom from continuing to earn a salary, but she is still deeply involved in the organization and bi activism in general. <a href="http://www.bilerico.com/2012/04/professional_bisexual_an_interview_with_one_of_the.php" target="_blank">In the interview</a>, she explains the challenges bi organizations have faced as they've worked to strengthen the movement:</p>
<blockquote><p>There's a part of me that wishes the few larger bi organizations—BRC, <a href="http://www.binetusa.org/" target="_blank">BiNetUSA</a>, [the <a href="http://www.bisexual.org/home.html" target="_blank">American Institute of Bisexuality</a>] AIB, [the <a href="http://www.bisexualorganizingproject.org/" target="_blank">Bisexual Organizing Project</a>] BOP—would work together more to combine our resources and be able to have staff, but I also recognize that the different groups do different things and it's ok to have multiple groups.</p>
<p>Until we can find more consistent and substantial funding sources, we won't be able to sustain staff. The BRC has built up over time a core group of donors for our work, but we need more people who are able to make a solid yearly commitment in order for us to have enough income to hire someone on a more permanent basis.</p>
<p>...What I love about the bi community is how diverse we are and the many different ways we live. Unfortunately, that diversity sometimes makes it more difficult to pull people together under one umbrella. Plus, you cannot underestimate the power of biphobia in our culture that keeps people from wanting to openly connect and support our organizations.</p></blockquote>
<p>I've heard people say that the lack of bisexual visibility that exists right now is the fault of bisexual activists for not trying hard enough. After all, <a href="http://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/research/census-lgbt-demographics-studies/how-many-people-are-lesbian-gay-bisexual-and-transgender/" target="_blank">there are more bisexuals than gays or lesbians</a>; if bi organizations were as well-organized as gay and lesbian organizations, couldn't they be leaders of the LGBT movement? Maybe. But it isn't that simple. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/amy-andre/bisexual-funding_b_1178932.html" target="_blank">Funders for LGBTQ Issues has reported that, in 2009 and 2010, bisexual-specific organizations and programs received no grant support</a>. Though much of the LGBT movement relies on grant dollars to provide community services and advance the rights of queer people, the bisexual community has been largely shut out of this mode of support. So while many LGBT organizations have grown from grassroots start-ups to well-funded, well-organized nonprofits over the last twenty years, bi organizations are still relying on volunteer support and modest individual donations, just as they were in the late 1980s and early 1990s.</p>
<p>Considering these statistics, is it really any wonder we're still struggling to advance basic bi visibility in the media? The whole LGBT movement is greatly underfunded, to be sure, and I can't think of an organization that doesn't deserve more funding. But when you look at the numbers and see that grant support in the lesbian and gay communities is increasing but the support for the bisexual community remains at zero, it makes you wonder why this segment of the community is lagging so far behind. I have a hard time believing it's because bi activists aren't hustling as hard for the support as their gay and lesbian colleagues. So what is it, then? Is Ruthstrom right that biphobia prevents potential donors from wanting to openly support bisexual organizations? Are there just too many organizations duplicating efforts? It's possible that a lot of people who might want to support bi organizations just aren't aware of which ones are out there, but that's a catch-22—in order for these groups to better market themselves, they need the funding. </p>
<p>Whatever the problem is, it needs to be addressed quickly. Otherwise the bi movement will continue to fall behind the rest of the LGBT movement, and the need for greater bisexual support and visibility will continue to be an afterthought.</p>
<p>Want to help advance bisexual visibility? Get involved in <a href="http://www.binetusa.org/bi-groups-in-the-us" target="_blank">one of the many bi organizations</a> that desperately need support. Donate to one of those organizations. Tell your friends why supporting bi groups matters so much. Only once social justice-minded people start to take bisexual organizations as seriously as they take broader LGBT-focused ones will the media begin to care about advancing visi(bi)lity.</p>
<p><strong>Related:</strong> <a href="http://www.bilerico.com/2012/04/professional_bisexual_an_interview_with_one_of_the.php" target="_blank">Professional Bisexual: One of the First Paid Staffers of a Bi Org [Interview]</a>, <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/amy-andre/bisexual-funding_b_1178932.html" target="_blank">Show Us the Money: Funding for Bisexual Community Lacking</a>, <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ellyn-ruthstrom/getting-your-numbers-stra_b_849187.html" target="_blank">Getting Your Numbers Straight, So to Speak </a></p>
<p><strong>Previously:</strong> <a href="/post/visibility-social-media-bisexuality-feminism-identity" target="_blank">Is Social Media the Final Visi(bi)lity Frontier?</a>, <a href="/post/visibility-how-bideology-battles-biphobia-bisexuality-feminism" target="_blank">How Bideology Battles Biphobia</a></p>
http://bitchmagazine.org/post/visibility-toward-a-visible-movement-bisexuality-activism-feminism-media#commentsactivismbisexualbisexual visibilitybisexualityEllyn RuthstromfundraisingLGBTLGBT movementnonprofitsVisi(bi)litySex and SexualityTue, 24 Apr 2012 16:50:46 +0000Carrie Nelson16480 at http://bitchmagazine.orgIs Social Media the Final Visi(bi)lity Frontier?http://bitchmagazine.org/post/visibility-social-media-bisexuality-feminism-identity
<p>I've spent the majority of this series discussing bisexual visibility (and lack thereof) in film and television. This isn't an accident—I'm a filmmaker and cinephile, so my passions and cultural points of reference tend to fall within the realm of audio-visual media. But these types of media have some significant flaws, the biggest one being that they tend to create isolating viewing experiences. Unless you're a media producer yourself (which usually involves some degree of economic, racial, or cultural privilege), it's entirely possible that you will rarely see images which reflect your experiences. If you're watching something on the big or small screen, you have to accept the reality being presented to you, even if such a reality is counter to what you know to be true. It's also difficult to interact with this kind of media—if a TV show makes you angry, yelling at the set or throwing popcorn may feel cathartic, but it doesn't usually result in concrete change.</p>
<p>But this is where newer forms of media, like social media, come in. Now that platforms exist for the sharing of ideas and experiences, bi folks are having an easier time building community and countering the negative images they see in traditional forms of media. I thought about this earlier this week, when I read <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/anna-detmer/a-bisexual-commentary_b_1424234.html?ref=teen" target="_blank">an article that bisexual high school student Anna Detmer wrote for the Huffington Post</a>. Detmer credits online spaces for supporting her while she struggles for acceptance at school:</p>
<blockquote><p>Tumblr has been wonderful to me. I have yet to receive homophobic hate of any kind, although I know those kinds of people are out there. I'm not really bothered by homophobes to be honest. So long as you can look past my sexuality, tolerate it, and don't think it defines me, I don't care if you disagree with it. Just accept that I can't change it and it won't go away.</p></blockquote>
<p>Detmer also created this image, which went viral on Tumblr:</p>
<p><img style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 10px;" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7184/7092398813_8b2c06d0a8.jpg" alt="Text graphic with a purple background. The header text in blue and pink reads, "I am bisexual." The footer text, in the same coloring, reads, "YOUR OPINION ON MY SEXUALITY IS NOT REQUIRED OR DESIRED." In between, in white and red text, is a declaration of bi identity that dismisses stereotypes and demands acceptance." height="500" width="407" /></p>
<p>Detmer's experience is unique to her generation. When I was in high school, only ten years ago, I didn't have an online community in which to discuss these issues. I watched television shows and movies with LGBT characters, certainly, and I depended on my high school GSA for support, but the number of other bi people I knew was small. Having a community like Tumblr (or any other similar social network) allows young people to take control of their own representations. It's now easier than ever to find people who have had similar experiences, discuss problems, and, in the case of Detmer, share this conversation with millions of people. Like many who read Detmer's article, I was moved and impressed by her ability to talk about her experiences in such candid terms, but more than anything, I was thrilled that she lives in a time when she's able to find the community that she needs on the Internet, a community which was much harder to find a decade ago.</p>
<p>The rise of social networking and safe spaces online for bisexual people has also led to the creation of bi-specific social networks. Founded by activist Adrienne Williams in 2008, the appropriately-named <a href="http://bisocialnetwork.com/" target="_blank">Bi Social Network</a> is a space for people to connect through blogs and other writing, podcasts, radio, and classifieds. My favorite BSN effort is their <a href="http://visible.bisocialnetwork.com/" target="_blank">"I am Visible" campaign</a>, which aims to stop biphobia and bi-erasure through writing, photo, and video campaigns. <a href="http://visible.bisocialnetwork.com/alan-cumming-i-am-visible/" target="_blank">Celebrities like Alan Cumming</a> and ordinary people have participated, sharing their images and experiences to demystify the reality of bisexuality. It is a powerful campaign that I hope receives wider recognition and support.</p>
<p>Of course, the existence of social media outlets where bi people can connect and mobilize is not, in itself, enough to change the ways in which bisexuality is discussed in mainstream media outlets. What's most important, though, is that conversations are now happening in unprecedented ways. Through social networks and online advocacy campaigns, people are becoming more comfortable in discussing their experiences and identities, which in turn empowers them to become more visible and active in their local bi and LGBT communities. Though this visibility does not have a direct impact on traditional media images, it does create a culture of people who are more comfortable with the realities of bisexuality than ever before, and the first step toward changing traditional media is changing the culture that creates it. Social media isn't the final step toward honest bi visibility, but it's certainly a major step in the right direction.</p>
<p><strong>Related: </strong><a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/anna-detmer/a-bisexual-commentary_b_1424234.html?ref=teen" target="_blank">Confessions of a Bisexual Teenager</a>, <a href="http://www.advocate.com/News/Daily_News/2011/09/23/Ending_Bi_Erasure__on_TV_and_in_our_LGBT_Worlds/" target="_blank">Ending Bi Erasure — on TV and in Our LGBT Worlds </a></p>
<p><strong>Previously:</strong> <a href="/post/visibility-how-bideology-battles-biphobia-bisexuality-feminism" target="_blank">How Bideology Battles Biphobia</a>, <a href="/post/visibility-finding-realism-in-rose-by-any-other-name-web-series-sexuality-feminism" target="_blank">Finding Realism in Rose By Any Other Name</a></p>
http://bitchmagazine.org/post/visibility-social-media-bisexuality-feminism-identity#commentsAdrienne WilliamsAnna DetmerBi Social Networkbisexualbisexual visibilitybisexualityHuffington PostI am Visiblesocial mediasocial networkingTumblrVisi(bi)litySex and SexualityThu, 19 Apr 2012 18:27:30 +0000Carrie Nelson16412 at http://bitchmagazine.orgVisi(bi)lity: How Bideology Battles Biphobia http://bitchmagazine.org/post/visibility-how-bideology-battles-biphobia-bisexuality-feminism
<p><img style="float: left; margin: 10px;" src="http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5347/7089351287_71b16fe973.jpg" alt="A pink silhouette of a woman has her arms around a black silhouette of a man. The man is touching both the woman and a grey silhouette of another man, standing behind him. The text at the bottom reads "BIDEOLOGY." "BI" is in pink and "DEOLOGY" is in black. The first "O" is the Mars symbol, and the second "O" is the Venus symbol." height="374" width="280" />Straight women: would you ever date a bisexual man? Do you think that bisexual men are more likely to spread STDs than straight men? Do you think that bisexual men are more feminine than straight men? These questions have preoccupied writer and filmmaker Arielle Loren's work for the last few years. After falling in love with a bisexual man, Loren developed <em><a href="http://blip.tv/bideology" target="_blank">The Bi-deology Project</a></em>, a two-part web series exploring straight women's perceptions of bisexual men, particularly in the context of romantic relationships. The series has since inspired <a href="http://www.arielleloren.com/bideology-documentar" target="_blank">a feature-length documentary, <em>Bideology</em></a>, which will be premiering at film festivals this spring.</p>
<p>Though Loren is a straight woman (and not a bisexual man), she is quite knowledgeable about bi men and the bisexual community. As a student at New York University, she wrote a thesis titled <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E22JmAlXczQ" target="_blank">"Proper Heterosexism: African American Female Voices in the Media on African American Male Bisexuality and the Down Low."</a> She also answers questions about bisexuality on her personal web series, <em>Ask Arielle Loren</em> (see <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxNuoGOPJuQ" target="_blank">episode 7</a>, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9mkO33dWPY" target="_blank">episode 11</a>, and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-Rd3slTx3E" target="_blank">episode 14</a> to hear her comments). Her commitment to advocating for bisexual visibility and acceptance is clear, and it comes through the most in <em>The Bi-deology Project</em>. In the first episode, Loren explains that she started the project to foster a dialog and combat stereotypes that straight women often have about bi men:</p>
<blockquote><p>I first started<em> The Bi-deology Project</em> because I was inspired by a personal experience. I really hope that this gives the opportunity for women to see that, you know, bisexual men don't have one type. They're not monolithic.</p></blockquote>
<p>In her efforts to start this conversation, Loren interviewed a diverse assortment of random women she met on the street about their thoughts about dating bisexual men. She also interviewed women like writer <a href="http://funkybrownchick.com/" target="_blank">Twanna A. Hines</a> and filmmaker <a href="http://www.josephinedecker.com/Director.html" target="_blank">Josephine Decker</a> (of <a href="/post/visibility-ibi-the-wayi-and-the-realities-of-bisexuality-feminist-film-review" target="_blank"><em>Bi the Way</em></a> fame) about their relationships with bisexual men and the misconceptions and prejudices they've overcome. The ultimate conclusion is that bisexual men, like any other group of people, are all individuals, and the fact that they're bisexual isn't a reason to date or not to date them. As Hines aptly puts it in the second episode:</p>
<blockquote><p>"I'm always interested when people say, 'Why do you date bisexual men?' or 'Why would you date a bisexual man?,' because I think the more interesting question is, 'Why are there so many women who are against dating bisexual men?'"</p></blockquote>
<p><em>The Bi-deology Project </em>doesn't include the voices of any bi men, which initially bothered me. Isn't the best way to combat biphobia to amplify the voices of the people directly impacted by said biphobia? But the lack of bi men isn't a thoughtless omission on Loren's part—it's a very clear decision, and upon watching the episodes, I think it was a wise one. Loren reaches out to straight women by using the voices of straight and bisexual women. Rather than lecturing about oppression and identity politics to people who may not necessarily be social justice minded in that way, the voices in <em>The Bi-deology Project</em> relate to the audience by speaking in the viewer's own language, reflecting the viewer's own experiences and beliefs. The series is less about bi men and how they combat prejudices against them and more about the actual process of overcoming prejudices that straight women go through. It's a twist on the way the media tends to address these issues, and one that works well.</p>
<p><img style="float: right; margin: 10px;" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7044/7089351259_71b67472f2.jpg" alt="A woman with a large bracelet rests her chin on her hands. The frame only shows us her face from her nose down and her hands. Her hands rest on a white surface. In the bottom left corner is a light blue circle with the title. It says "BIDEOLOGY" in white and, below it, "A DOCUMENTARY EXPLORING WOMEN DATING BISEXUAL MEN" in black." height="205" width="327" />For folks interested in both the voices of bi men and the straight women who love them, that's where <em>Bideology</em> comes in. I haven't seen <em>Bideology</em>, as it has yet to be released, but <a href="http://vimeo.com/27757834" target="_blank">the trailer</a> makes it look like a longer, more thorough incarnation of <em>The Bi-deology Project</em>, including some of the same voices from <em>The Bi-deology Project</em> and introducing new voices, such as Paul Fitzgerald and Cedric Maurice, two bisexual men. Given how well <em>The Bi-deology Project</em> explored this topic in only two short episodes, the idea of a feature-length documentary on the subject makes me very intrigued.</p>
<p>Loren is a phenomenal ally for the bisexual community, and the work I've seen of hers is incredibly valuable. I look forward to checking out <em>Bideology</em> whenever it's available in NYC, and I hope that other media-makers who are interested in addressing bisexuality follow in her steps. Depicting the lives of bi people certainly increases visibility, but it's only one way to educate people outside of the community. Another method is sharing the stories of people who have overcome biphobic prejudices, and because this approach is less common, perhaps it's one which audiences are more likely to listen to. So far, Loren has approached bisexuality in creative and innovative ways, and I look forward to seeing where her work goes next.</p>
<p><strong>Related:</strong> <a href="http://www.theroot.com/views/bi-deology-project" target="_blank">Love on the Flip Side of the Down Low</a></p>
<p><strong>Previously:</strong> <a href="/post/visibility-finding-realism-in-rose-by-any-other-name-web-series-sexuality-feminism" target="_blank">Finding Realism in Rose By Any Other Name</a>, <a href="/post/visibility-the-l-word%E2%80%99s-messy-exploration-of-straight-privilege-feminism-sexuality" target="_blank">The L Word's Messy Exploration of Straight Privilege</a></p>
http://bitchmagazine.org/post/visibility-how-bideology-battles-biphobia-bisexuality-feminism#commentsArielle LorenBideologybiphobiabisexualbisexual visibilitybisexualitydocumentaryThe Bi-deology ProjectVisi(bi)lityweb seriesSex and SexualityWed, 18 Apr 2012 19:28:33 +0000Carrie Nelson16388 at http://bitchmagazine.orgVisi(bi)lity: Finding Realism in Rose By Any Other Namehttp://bitchmagazine.org/post/visibility-finding-realism-in-rose-by-any-other-name-web-series-sexuality-feminism
<p><img style="float: left; margin: 10px;" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7256/6940143060_9682d407c1.jpg" alt="Movie poster. The top left corner features the title "Rose by Any Other Name." Building off of the O in "Rose" are Mars and Venus symbols. The top right corner features a red rose, and the bottom left corner features a production slate. Stills from the series, of Rose with her friends, are scattered throughout the rest of the poster." height="260" width="225" />One of the best parts of writing for Bitch has been hearing from folks who read the series, particularly when they recommend media I've never seen before. Such is the case with <a href="http://www.examiner.com/bisexuality-in-national/the-complete-rose-by-any-other-name-bisexual-web-show-link-list-and-photos" target="_blank"><em>Rose By Any Other Name</em></a>, a web series that recently finished its second season. Produced by Kyle Schickner of FenceSitter Films, the series follows Rose, a woman coming to terms with her bisexuality after falling in love with a man, Anthony (played by Schickner). The episodes chronicle Rose's relationship with Anthony as she struggles to find a way to talk about her identity with her lesbian friends, the new acquaintances she's met in a bisexual support group, and Anthony himself. The show is incredibly funny and emotional, but most importantly, it's honest.</p>
<p>I watched the pilot episode, as well as all of Season Two (though you can bet I'll be catching up on Season One soon). More than most bi-centric movies and television shows I've watched, <em>Rose By Any Other Name</em> depicts a reality to which I relate, even if the specifics of the experiences differ. Actually, a lot of aspects of the story do mirror my own experience—a woman who identifies as a lesbian falls in love with a man, they keep the relationship concealed from friends initially, said woman has difficulty owning the label "bisexual," etc. These are all experiences I went through about five years ago. And, in a sense, <em>Rose By Any Other Name </em>resonates with me because it's the first show I've seen that not only reflects these experiences, but does so in a compelling, authentic way.</p>
<p>Even if my own experiences didn't so closely resemble Rose's, however, I believe I would still respond strongly to this show, largely because there's a complexity to the storylines that is not typically found in traditional episodic television that tackles bisexuality. Rose feels authentic because she knows she doesn't have all the answers yet. She isn't fully accepting of herself, but she also isn't lying to herself or trying to suppress feelings she knows she has. She's a woman on a journey, and the series allows her to take that journey at her own pace, without forcing it.</p>
<p><img style="float: right; margin: 10px;" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7256/6940143014_4910eaa4e0.jpg" alt="A woman and a man sit on a couch in a dimly lit room. They both look at something out of the frame, toward the right of the frame. The man holds a rose in his hands. A full martini glass sits between them." height="193" width="345" />Similarly, the other characters are believable in their complexities. Though Rose's friends don't understand what she's going through, and though they aren't aware of their own biphobia at times, it's clear that the decisions they make are done to help her, rather than to consciously harm her. I wish Anthony didn't come across as clueless about queer issues as he tends to, but the fact is, that's probably realistic, too. A lot of straight men who get involved with queer women, especially those transitioning from self-identifying as gay to self-identifying as bi, probably lack the knowledge and expertise to support their lovers in the way that they need. But what's most important is that, despite his cluelessness, Anthony comes across as someone who genuinely loves Rose and wants to support her, even if he doesn't always know how. Rather than convincing himself that he "changed" her, he's happy to love her just as she is.</p>
<p>The beauty of web-based media is that it opens the doors to voices traditionally shut out of the mainstream. If bi folks have difficulty finding images in cinemas and on television screens that authentically resemble their feelings and experiences, it's no surprise that they may have an easier time finding said images on the Internet. Anyone from reputable independent filmmakers, like Schickner, to amateur producers looking to find an audience can shoot episodic media for online distribution. And without the politics of networks and Hollywood production companies complicating the process and imposing restrictions on what can and cannot be explored, filmmakers are able to tell the stories they want to tell, knowing they will be seen without making compromises. <em>Rose By Any Other Name</em> is indicative of a shift happening in media, where the truly bold and innovative stories are being told online. It's good to know that, when mainstream media sources lack the right images, there's another, more accessible place to turn to find them.</p>
<p>If you're looking for a funny, frank look at bisexuality, I highly recommend checking out <em>Rose By Any Other Name</em>. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/fencesitterfilms" target="_blank">You can watch Season Two on YouTube</a>. Discovering this show has made me wonder what other bi-centric web series are out there. Do any of you have favorites to recommend?</p>
<p><strong>Previously:</strong> <a href="/post/visibility-the-l-word%E2%80%99s-messy-exploration-of-straight-privilege-feminism-sexuality" target="_blank">The L Word's Messy Exploration of Straight Privilege</a>, <a href="/post/visibility-queer-as-folk-broke-my-heart-feminist-television-sexuality" target="_blank">Queer As Folk Broke My Heart</a></p>
http://bitchmagazine.org/post/visibility-finding-realism-in-rose-by-any-other-name-web-series-sexuality-feminism#commentsbisexualbisexual visibilitybisexualityKyle SchickneronlineRose By Any Other NameVisi(bi)litywebweb seriesSex and SexualityTue, 17 Apr 2012 18:00:44 +0000Carrie Nelson16363 at http://bitchmagazine.orgVisi(bi)lity: The L Word’s Messy Exploration of Straight Privilegehttp://bitchmagazine.org/post/visibility-the-l-word%E2%80%99s-messy-exploration-of-straight-privilege-feminism-sexuality
<p><strong>(Note: This post contains spoilers for <em>The L Word</em>.) </strong></p>
<p>In the comments of Wednesday's post, <a href="/post/visibility-queer-as-folk-broke-my-heart-feminist-television-sexuality#comments" target="_blank">Anita pointed out</a> that <em>Queer As Folk</em> is not the only Showtime program that struggles in its depiction of bisexuality. When discussing depictions of biphobia in the gay community, one can't avoid <em>The L Word</em>. The difference between the shows as I see it, however, is that if <em>Queer As Folk</em> suffers from bi invisibility, <em>The L Word</em> suffers from straight-up bi loathing. Rather than giving you a play-by-play of every epic bi fail (if you're interested in that, <a href="http://www.afterellen.com/TV/2008/2thelwordbisexuality" target="_blank">After Ellen has a comprehensive list</a>), I want to focus on one particular episode—one that deals with bisexuality and straight privilege.</p>
<p>I use the phrase "deals with" lightly, because what could have been an interesting and worthwhile topic to explore is summed up in one brief, clumsy scene. In the Season Four episode "Layup," Tina, a main character who is on the outs with her friends after leaving her partner for a man, shows up to a pick-up basketball game in which her friends are playing. Her friends, unaware she was going to show up, inform her that she can't play because the game is only for lesbians. (Which makes no sense, because Kit, a straight woman, and Alice, a bi woman, are playing.) Tina replies that she still identifies as a lesbian, so it's okay. But this upsets Jenny (a character who was bi-identified during the show's first season, if I'm not mistaken), who informs Tina, "Yeah, but when you walk down the street with your boyfriend, holding your boyfriend's hands and enjoying all the heterosexual privileges, you stopped being a lesbian." Tina explains that she's a political lesbian, and then there's some more arguing, until finally the other team tells Tina that they don't care who she sleeps with and invites her to play. In a karmic twist, the inclusive team wins and Tina's friends, if she can even call them that after this, lose. (Though this ultimately has far more to do with the fact that Tina's friends are terrible at basketball.)</p>
<p><img style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 10px;" src="http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5349/7073745901_39af4a8cc4.jpg" alt="Four women dressed in athletic-wear stand on an outdoor basketball court. The woman on the far left, wearing sunglasses, looks defiantly at the blonde woman on the far right. The blonde woman wears a grey sweatshirt while the other women wear purple pinnies." height="220" width="434" /></p>
<p>The way the scene is written and structured into the episode lacks critique. It plays like a weird, queer version of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," in which Tina isn't allowed to play in any lesbian games. There's cattiness and meanness, but it isn't condemned. There's no attempt to teach Jenny that it's okay for a woman to sleep with a man and still call herself a lesbian. Nor is there any attempt to teach Tina the reasons why calling herself a lesbian may bother some lesbians who don't sleep with men. The scene exists for tension and drama, not character growth for either party.</p>
<p>And that's too bad, because this is a scene that I think could have been powerful and effective. Rather than making both Jenny and Tina look bad, it could have been a thoughtful conversation about <a href="/post/visibility-post-bi-what-skins-can-teach-us-about-labels-feminism-television" target="_blank">the reasons why using a label for political reasons is important</a>, but why recognizing privilege is also important. Does sleeping with men actually mean that a queer-identified woman can't call herself a lesbian? What are the implications behind Tina's decision to continue calling herself a lesbian, rather than bisexual or queer? Rather than both appearing to be out of line, is it possible that both of them are actually right, for different reasons? These are questions I would have liked seeing explored. Because this issue is actually really important.</p>
<p>Personally, I don't think straight privilege should be enough to prevent a queer woman from joining a lesbian basketball team, but the fact is, <a href="http://www.nclrights.org/site/PageServer?pagename=press_2011_NCLR_Settles_Softball_Case_112811" target="_blank">this is a story that plays out in the real world</a>. Bi people (or, in the case of Tina, people who don't fit neatly into the boxes of Kinsey 0 heterosexuality and Kinsey 6 homosexuality) are sometimes excluded from gay communities, just like they are from straight communities, and for <em>The L Word</em> to address that reality is critical. However, it would have been more effective if they had placed an emphasis on challenging beliefs and perspectives, rather than solely creating dramatic tension for the sake of dramatic tension.</p>
<p>The struggle to still remain a part of a community to which you feel connected while actively benefiting from privilege that oppresses others is an important one to explore. It's one that I think about often and <a href="http://smallstrokesbigoaks.com/2011/08/24/guest-post-repairing-the-world/" target="_blank">have written about before</a>. I'm glad <em>The L Word </em>made an attempt to address it, but it deserved far better treatment than it got.</p>
<p><strong>Related:</strong> <a href="http://www.afterellen.com/TV/2008/2thelwordbisexuality" target="_blank">"The L Word" Reinforces Negative Bisexual Stereotypes</a></p>
<p><strong>Previously:</strong> <a href="/post/visibility-queer-as-folk-broke-my-heart-feminist-television-sexuality" target="_blank">Queer As Folk Broke My Heart</a>, <a href="/post/visibility-john-irving-new-novel-biphobia-sexuality-feminist-books" target="_blank">John Irving Tackles Biphobia in New Novel</a></p>
http://bitchmagazine.org/post/visibility-the-l-word%E2%80%99s-messy-exploration-of-straight-privilege-feminism-sexuality#commentsbisexualbisexual visibilitybisexualitylesbians on televisionprivilegeShowtimetelevisionThe L WordVisi(bi)litySex and SexualityFri, 13 Apr 2012 17:27:35 +0000Carrie Nelson16299 at http://bitchmagazine.orgVisi(bi)lity: Queer As Folk Broke My Hearthttp://bitchmagazine.org/post/visibility-queer-as-folk-broke-my-heart-feminist-television-sexuality
<p><strong>(Note: This post contains spoilers about <em>Queer As Folk</em>.) </strong></p>
<p><br /><img style="float: left; margin: 10px;" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7064/7067426467_dfa6529d60.jpg" alt="Extreme close-up of a woman with chin-length blonde hair. The shot is over the shoulder of a man with dark brown hair and stubble, but since we only see him from behind, that's all we can tell." width="323" height="179" />It was the Spring of 2003. My three best friends and I were taking a break from studying for our math final exam and wandering around our local video store, searching for a DVD to watch at my house that night. Midway through the New Releases aisle, we paused. There it was: Season Two of the American <em>Queer As Folk</em>. None of us had ever watched it, but we knew it by reputation from friends who were fans. As active members of our school's Gay-Straight Alliance and avid consumers of queer media, we knew that <em>Queer As Folk</em> was the most overtly gay television show out there, and we couldn't wait to give it a try. We rented the first disc, and all plans of further studying that night were put on hold. Never mind, of course, that we'd never watched Season One—we'd catch up to it later. All we knew was that we had to start watching it immediately.</p>
<p>Nearly a decade later, <em>Queer As Folk</em> has remained one of my all-time favorite television shows; other than <em>Seinfeld</em>, it is the only show of which I've seen every episode more than once. It's flawed in its depictions of diversity, and it's sometimes a bit too goofy for its own good, but the storylines are compelling, the characters are well-developed, and the issues addressed—covering everything from bullying to parenting to addiction to <a href="http://www.thebody.com/content/art32227.html" target="_blank">serodiscordant relationships</a>—are handled sensitively and realistically. All of them, that is, except for sexual fluidity.</p>
<p>The majority of the characters on <em>Queer As Folk</em> are gay men, but there's a lesbian couple as well—Lindsay Peterson (<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlAc8I_CXR8" target="_blank">played by Thea Gill, who is sexually fluid in real life</a>) and Melanie Marcus. Lindsay and Melanie's relationship is solid, but just like any committed couple, they have their share of problems. Over the course of the show's five seasons, they deal with infidelity twice: once when Melanie has an affair with a woman in Season One, and again when Lindsay has an affair with a man in Season Four. Both affairs last for the same amount of time (one night), and both are instantly regretted by the participants. Yet Lindsay's affair, for having been with a man, is treated as a far more serious offense.</p>
<p>In the universe of the show, Lindsay identifies as a lesbian. However, throughout the series, there are references to opposite-sex relationships and attractions she's had (including one with her best friend, Brian Kinney, who is also the father of her son), so I think it's reasonable to assume that she isn't Kinsey 6 gay. The man she sleeps with, Sam Auerbach, confronts her about this after their affair ends, asking her to consider being with him again. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LNS7YF4jV0" target="_blank">She responds, "My house has many rooms. I occupy but a few. The rest go unvisited."</a> It's a powerful moment that suggests that she's aware of the feelings she occasionally has for men, but that such feelings aren't significant enough to change her identification. Regardless of what attractions she may have, she's committed to sticking by her wife and has no interest in pursuing relations with men.</p>
<p><img style="float: right; margin: 10px;" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7136/7067426465_1210703236.jpg" alt="Two women, one with cropped brown hair and one with chin-length blonde hair, and both wearing dark tops, stand next to each other, holding drinks. The woman with brown hair is talking to someone off-camera, and the woman with blonde hair looks at her, concerned." width="276" height="250" />If this was entirely about her personal choice of labels, the storyline wouldn't really bother me. The problem starts when everyone else around her refuses to let her be bisexual, even if she wanted to be. During a heart-to-heart with Brian about the situation, he tells her, "It's okay to like cock. And it's okay to like pussy, just not at the same time. So, which one do you like?" Meanwhile, Melanie angrily tells Lindsay that she's confused and insists that "There's nothing I can do that'll ever make you feel completely happy. You'll always feel unsatisfied and I'll always feel like I'm not enough." Yet she doesn't tell Lindsay that she would be comfortable if Lindsay were bisexual, or that while cheating is hurtful, finding men attractive isn't. In this world, it's pretty easy to see why Lindsay can't identify as bisexual. It isn't really that the identification would change her substantively as a character—it wouldn't. It's that bisexuality in the <em>Queer As Folk</em> universe is seen as either nonexistent or confusing and problematic (or, at least, confusing and problematic for the gay characters).</p>
<p>Please don't take this to mean that I'm saying that Lindsay is definitely bisexual. Throughout the show, she makes it perfectly clear that she does not identify as bisexual, and I won't challenge that identification. I will, however, challenge the writers for not making her openly non-monosexual, since such an identification would have fit her character well. The bi invisibility in <em>Queer As Folk</em> bothers me more than overt biphobia in mainstream shows that I don't like as much, specifically because <em>Queer As Folk</em> is a show that I love. More than that, it's a show that helped me grow more comfortable with my queerness and made me feel like I had a community before I really did. But it isn't a show that speaks to me specifically in the context of being a bisexual woman, because when the show had an opportunity to actually address bisexuality, they dropped the ball. Not every show about queer people needs a bisexual character, but when there's an opportunity to introduce one, it seems silly not to. Making Lindsay say, "You know what? Maybe I'm bi. But I'm still with Melanie, so take a hike, Sam!" wouldn't have changed anything at all about her character. All it would have done is create a point of entry for bi viewers, so that they could feel more connected to the show than they already did. That didn't happen. So now, when I watch <em>Queer As Folk</em>, I love it as much as I always have...but I also know that I'm not as much a part of the show's community as I wish I could be.</p>
<p><strong>Related:</strong> <a href="http://www.afterellen.com/archive/ellen/TV/qaf/season4-72004.html" target="_blank">Queer as Folk Tackles Lesbians Who Sleep With Men - and Misses </a></p>
<p><strong>Previously:</strong> <a href="/post/visibility-john-irving-new-novel-biphobia-sexuality-feminist-books" target="_blank">John Irving Tackles Biphobia in New Novel</a>, <a href="/post/visibility-savage-u-bisexuality-feminism-TV-Dan-Savage" target="_blank">How the Savage U Premiere Barely Exceeded My Extremely Low Expectations</a></p>
http://bitchmagazine.org/post/visibility-queer-as-folk-broke-my-heart-feminist-television-sexuality#commentsbiphobiabisexualbisexual visibilitybisexualityQueer As FolkShowtimetelevisionVisi(bi)litySex and SexualityWed, 11 Apr 2012 17:02:08 +0000Carrie Nelson16264 at http://bitchmagazine.orgVisi(bi)lity: John Irving Tackles Biphobia in New Novelhttp://bitchmagazine.org/post/visibility-john-irving-new-novel-biphobia-sexuality-feminist-books
<p><img src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7109/6917234910_ef320a090e_o.jpg" alt="Black-and-white photo of a woman unhooking her bra. Only her muscular back and hands are visible. Across her shoulder-blades reads, in white text, "JOHN IRVING" and lower down, in purple text, is written, "In One Person."" height="236" width="236" align="left" />Some of the <a href="/post/visibility-savage-u-bisexuality-feminism-TV-Dan-Savage#comments" target="_blank">comments on my post about <em>Savage U</em> last week</a> argued that people like Dan Savage, who work hard to advance LGBT equality and visibility even though their biphobic and transphobic comments sometimes suggest otherwise, should be recognized for the good work that they do. I agree. I think Dan Savage has done some excellent work to advance visibility and acceptance for queer people. That's why it hurts so much when he says things like, <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=2859" target="_blank">"avoiding bi guys is a good rule of thumb for gay men looking for long-term relationships."</a> I expect ignorant remarks about bisexuals having difficulty with monogamy from Rush Limbaugh or Rick Santorum. I shouldn't have to expect this from Savage, somebody who works hard to advance public acceptance of sexual diversity. But I do have to expect this from him, just like I have to expect a similar attitude from some of the wonderful gay and lesbian people I know. The unfortunate reality is that there is as much biphobia in the gay community as there is in the straight world, and it won't go away if we continue to ignore it in the campaign for the greater good.</p>
<p>Thankfully, there are media to which we can turn for nuanced, complex looks at biphobia—and it looks like John Irving's new novel will be one such place. Irving, best known as the author of such classics as <em>The World According to Garp</em>, <em>The Cider House Rules</em>, and <em>A Prayer for Owen Meany</em>, addresses bisexuality and biphobia in gay and straight communities in his forthcoming book, <em>In One Person</em>. Yesterday, <a href="http://www.towleroad.com/2012/04/irving.html" target="_blank">Towleroad posted a video interview in which Irving discusses the book and its lead character, a bisexual man named Billy Abbott</a> (transcription begins at 1:53):</p>
<blockquote><p>Most bisexual guys of my generation were hugely distrusted by their gay friends and gay lovers, who all thought that the bisexual was hedging his bets about being gay, was basically a gay guy with one foot in the closet, and would eventually come all the way out. Well, only to discover, as time went on, and those young bisexuals grew older, that some of them really were what they said they were. He [Billy Abbott] is not conflicted about his bisexuality. It's real and present and will endure.</p>
<p>Billy's dislike of monogamy is almost as strong and well-supported, well-taken, as his dislike of the convention of a heterosexual life. He puts them to a kind of test. I don't mean, uh, intentionally, but his very existence as a bisexual man challenges whatever sexual tolerance—tolerance of gender, sexual identities, sexual mutability—these other characters think they have. They don't really believe he is a bisexual. They don't really believe there are bisexuals. And among his straight, female friends and women lovers, he's doubly distrusted. They don't know whether he's going to leave them for another woman or for a man.</p></blockquote>
<p>The fact that Irving is equating bisexuality with non-monogamy is potentially troubling, since not all non-monosexual folks are also non-monogamous, and vice versa. It also doesn't necessarily help to counter the stereotype, referenced above, that bisexual people have difficulty committing to monogamous relationships. Other than that, though, I like the way that Irving expresses his approach to bisexuality in <em>In One Person</em>. He is taking care to explicitly label his character as bisexual and, consequently, explore the specific ways in which bi people are marginalized by both gay and straight communities. I'm also fascinated by Irving's decision to focus on a bisexual man rather than a gay man to tell this story. I know that Irving, whom I believe is straight, has written queer characters before (most notably, a trans woman in <em>Garp</em>), though I don't know much about how successful he is in these depictions. Nevertheless, the fact that he's chosen a bisexual story in the first place is a bold move on his part, and I can't wait to see how it will turn out.</p>
<p><em>In One Person</em> comes out in May, and I already know it will be at the top of my summer reading list. Are any of you looking forward to reading it? What are your favorite novels that address bisexuality and biphobia?</p>
<p><strong>Previously:</strong> <a href="/post/visibility-savage-u-bisexuality-feminism-TV-Dan-Savage" target="_blank">How the Savage U Premiere Barely Exceeded My Extremely Low Expectations</a>, <a href="/post/visibility-invisibility-in-the-culture-wars-bisexuality-ted-haggard-feminism" target="_blank"> Invisi(bi)lity in the Culture Wars</a></p>
http://bitchmagazine.org/post/visibility-john-irving-new-novel-biphobia-sexuality-feminist-books#commentsbiphobiabisexualbisexual visibilitybisexualityJohn IrvingliteratureVisi(bi)litySex and SexualityTue, 10 Apr 2012 19:23:59 +0000Carrie Nelson16240 at http://bitchmagazine.orgVisi(bi)lity: How the Savage U Premiere Barely Exceeded My Extremely Low Expectationshttp://bitchmagazine.org/post/visibility-savage-u-bisexuality-feminism-TV-Dan-Savage
<p><img style="float: left; margin: 10px;" src="http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5329/7050642225_bd3a01f85d_o.jpg" alt="A woman and man lay on the floor of a gymnasium, making out. The text above them, in black, white and yellow lettering reads &quot;Savage U.&quot; " height="215" width="298" />Throughout this series, I have tried very hard not to write about the gigantic elephant in the room: Dan Savage. He's a controversial figure, <a href="http://www.afterelton.com/oysters-04-28-2011-dan-savage-biphobic" target="_blank">particularly when it comes to his statements on bisexuality</a>, and though I quoted him in my post about <em><a href="/post/visibility-ibi-the-wayi-and-the-realities-of-bisexuality-feminist-film-review" target="_blank">Bi the Way</a></em>, I haven't wanted to dwell on him. I find much of his commentary on bisexuality thoughtless and insensitive, but <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/bisexuals/Content?oid=8743322" target="_blank">he insists he is not biphobic</a>, and I choose to believe him. I may disagree with a lot of his ideas, but I like some of them, I respect his efforts to campaign against LGBT youth bullying and suicide, and I am not interested in making assumptions about what lies in his heart.</p>
<p>But in discussing bisexuality and the media, mentioning Savage is unavoidable. And since his new MTV show, <a href="http://www.mtv.com/shows/savage_u/series.jhtml" target="_blank"><em>Savage U</em></a>, premiered on Tuesday, there's no better time to open this can of worms.</p>
<p>The basic premise of the series involves Savage visiting college campuses with his producer, Lauren Hutchinson. Hutchinson doesn't actually get to do much other than drive their van, emcee his Q&amp;A sessions, and laugh at his jokes, but maybe this will change in future episodes. Savage, on the other hand, spends his visit (each one its own half-hour episode) answering questions at large Q&amp;As, talking with students about their sex lives in man-on-the-street interviews around campus, and meeting individually with students who have written to him with specific concerns. Those private conversations are the moments I liked best, as Savage shows a sensitive and serious side that isn't typically part of his public persona.</p>
<p>The good news is that <em>Savage U</em> is not the utter disaster I had anticipated. The premiere is set at the University of Maryland, and much to my surprise, it actually addresses bisexuality twice—with mixed results. About halfway through the episode, a woman at the Q&amp;A tells Savage that she recently dated a bisexual man, and asks him about the line between "guys trying out other guys" and guys being "actually into guys." Savage replies:</p>
<blockquote><p>Most guys who try out other guys are into guys on some level. That's a pretty high bar in our very homophobic culture. Not a lot of mostly straight guys go, 'I think I'll put a penis in my mouth just to see, because it's an experiment, and I want to see what happens.'</p></blockquote>
<p>Like many of Savage's comments, this one was aiming for laughs, and it received them. I'm not sure that I agree with reviews that say that <a href="http://www.avclub.com/articles/savage-u,71856/" target="_blank">the comment was specifically meant to imply that bisexual men are actually gay</a>, but I wish he had broached the issue differently. For starters, <a href="/post/visibility-humpday-not-your-average-bromance" target="_blank">we've already established that some "mostly straight guys" actually do experiment with other guys</a>. Additionally, rather than pointing out how hilarious it is to suggest that men experiment sexually, Savage could have taken a moment to educate this student about bisexuality. The way she asks her question makes her seem nervous about the idea of bisexuality, and it may have been helpful for him to explain that being bisexual does not mean that her boyfriend would cheat on her or leave her for another man. But this is Dan Savage, so I can't say I'm surprised that his answer lacked thoughtfulness.</p>
<p><img style="float: right; margin: 10px;" src="http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5195/7050642217_b78b9c5a4e_o.jpg" alt="Dan Savage sits on steps outside of a college campus building with an overweight man in his early twenties. There is snow on the ground and they are both wearing winter clothes." height="224" width="319" />His thoughtfulness came through in the next scene, however. Hutchinson introduces Savage to Marty, a student who had written to him about his difficulty leaving the "friend-zone" with romantic prospects. Savage asks Marty if he is looking for a relationship with a man or a woman, and he reveals that he is beginning to come to terms with his bisexuality and is looking for a boyfriend. Rather than advising him to pick a side, Savage offers sensitive words, telling him not to let rejection get him down and encouraging him to feel confident and play up his assets. It's a touching scene, and at the end of the episode, we find out that Marty has moved out of the "friend-zone" with a partner. Though Savage's shtick is usually more abrasive and confrontational, particularly when bisexuality comes up, the one-on-one intimacy of this scene is a refreshing reminder that, yes, Savage truly does want to help people, and his biphobic statements are likely more intended to get a rise out of readers than incite actual bigotry.</p>
<p>The moments that bothered me the most during the premiere were not biphobic ones—they were sexist ones. A lot of the young men interviewed liberally threw around the word "slut" and shared various slut-shaming sentiments, and while Savage insists that he <a href="http://www.thefrisky.com/2012-04-03/frisky-qa-dan-savage-talks-about-savage-u-and-the-prevalence-of-birth-control-use-and-slut-shaming-on-college-campuses/" target="_blank">"was always challenging guys on that,"</a> the statements went unchallenged in the final cut. He also responds to a question about sex during menstruation by calling it "sex during Shark Week" and making objectifying jokes about vagina dentata. I imagine that Savage will be addressing women's issues more frequently than bisexual-specific issues, so I hope his attitude toward women shapes up fast. Otherwise, no amount of bi-sensitivity will outshine those failures.</p>
<p>Dan Savage's advice is often a mixed bag, so I'm not shocked that his show is similarly muddled. On one hand, I'm thrilled to see that Savage is addressing bisexuality and not completely dismissing the issue as he tends to do in his advice columns. On the other hand, his sensitivity toward bisexuality is still at the bare-minimum level, which doesn't exactly earn him a cookie. It's too early in the series to tell precisely which direction it is heading, and I'm honestly not too hopeful. But the premiere had moments that pleasantly surprised me, so I'll keep tuning in, just to see what happens next.</p>
<p>Did any of you watch the premiere of <em>Savage U</em>? What were your thoughts?</p>
<p><strong>Related:</strong> <a href="http://www.thefrisky.com/2012-04-03/frisky-qa-dan-savage-talks-about-savage-u-and-the-prevalence-of-birth-control-use-and-slut-shaming-on-college-campuses/" target="_blank">Frisky Q&amp;A: Dan Savage Talks About "Savage U," And The Prevalence Of Birth Control Use And Slut-Shaming On College Campuses </a></p>
<p><strong>Previously:</strong> <a href="/post/visibility-invisibility-in-the-culture-wars-bisexuality-ted-haggard-feminism" target="_blank">Invisi(bi)lity in the Culture Wars</a>, <a href="/post/visibility-performing-bisexuality-katy-perry-lowndes-music-feminism" target="_blank">Performing Bisexuality</a></p>
http://bitchmagazine.org/post/visibility-savage-u-bisexuality-feminism-TV-Dan-Savage#commentsbisexualbisexual visibilitybisexualityDan SavageMTVSavage UtelevisionVisi(bi)litySex and SexualityFri, 06 Apr 2012 17:21:11 +0000Carrie Nelson16183 at http://bitchmagazine.org