Ratti's Random Rants

Tuesday, 17 February 2015

In Plushiland we have been enjoying the summer sun. Some weeks back Gediva and his Cousins took a trip to the Big River. While at night Plushiland watches Plushi-Appropriate films.

Gediva and his Cousins take in the Sun at the Rhine River

Home again watching cartoons

Very bad news has reached us from Australia. It seems that you HUMANS are responsible for many creatures (always the small Mammals) being on the verge of extinction. Well the HUMAN Politicians in Australia are not the greatest, a lot of the Flat-Earthers and Global Warming Deniers over there. And as usual the animals introduced by you HUMANS are causing all the problems, foxes and the Devil's own creation the CAT! Ba I hate Cats. Not as much as I hate that Mickey Mouse, but that is another story.

Due to circumstances beyond our control I have had to delay part of my planned Royal Visit. But I will still be visiting England soon. I may have time to post between my engagements and I hope that the Euro will still be around when I next post. Invest in Diamonds, YOU have been warned. Gold has already increased in value. Or there is always Bitcoin. Maybe I should introduce Ratti-Coin.

Ratti Von Plush

Great Liberal

PLUSHI Resources Director,

Keeper of the FLYFF,

DIAMOND Collector,

King of Salford,
Lord Protector of Plushiland,
Pontifex Maximus of the Great Plushi in the Sky,
Lord President of the Privy Council of Plushiland,
Grand Vizier (AY AY AY),
Office of the King,
Plushi Towers,
Plushiland

Saturday, 31 January 2015

A shocking discovering was made last week. Just outside of Plushiland, the HUMAN discovered a Plushi in the trash/rubbish bin. The poor thing was immediately rescued but had to be keep apart from the rest of Plushiland, to prevent the spread of Dustbin (Trash Can) Plushi Disease. So the monkey in question had to be washed, before being allowed to enter Plushiland.

Post wash, Dumpster Minkey Von Plush

Unfortunately, some of the older residents of Plushiland ended up being washed as well. This was a terrible experience and not one enjoyed by any Plushi. The HUMAN uses the Full Immersion Method (a Washing Machine). We were washed in a Washing machine, like ordinary washing and had to hold our breath. This was the first time that this particular machine was used and it was not terribly successful. We, the Plushis, in the machine became unbalanced when the machine started to spin. We had been put into washing bags to protect us, but this was the causing the load (Us) to become unbalanced, and so the machine refused to spin. The machine was manually drained, while we lay in a soggy heap, locked in the machine. Once the water was drained, the door could be opened, we were taken out of the washing bags and then spun again. Horrible, horrible, horrible... Our Head is still spinning a week later. Finally, we were dry enough to let out, very unhappy and very spun. After that we had to spend a day on a drying rack. Never again WE say. The smaller ones suffered most, like Us and Gediva, as the larger, fatties landed on us repeatedly. We demand that in future we are sent to dry cleaners.

On the Rack with Royalty, Gediva (top middle)

I have been looking at purchasing property recently, but I think this bird feeder is a bit too small for me and my DIAMONDS.

We may be making a number of ROYAL visits soon, watch this space for details. Maybe your country will be lucky enough to host Us soon.

Ratti Von Plush

Great Liberal

PLUSHI Resources Director,

Keeper of the FLYFF,

DIAMOND Collector,

King of Salford,
Lord Protector of Plushiland,
Pontifex Maximus of the Great Plushi in the Sky,
Lord President of the Privy Council of Plushiland,
Grand Vizier (AY AY AY),
Office of the King,
Plushi Towers,
Plushiland

Wednesday, 24 December 2014

It is time once more for Christmas. It is my 12th Christmas. Today, WE received a Royal Sled. And later WE will be travelling around the world to collect Diamonds. Bit like Father Christmas, only difference is that you give US, Father Ratti Christmas the Presents. High, Value, Portable Property; Diamonds Preferred.

Father Ratti Christmas, out collecting Diamonds

Waiting for the Real Father Christmas, Not Father Ratti Christmas

Plushiland welcomes another orphan

Plushiland at the Movies. Lord Gediva, is closest to the camera.

In OUR last post WE mentioned the Paddington Bear Movie. Well some Plushiland representatives went and saw it with THE HUMAN. Well it was very boring and they went to sleep during the movie. HUMAN children might like it. BUT London is not nearly as welcoming as the movie suggests. Enough said!

So Merry Christmas and Merry Plush. I will be back in the new Year, and all years are the Year of the Ratti.

Further Comment not required.

Ratti Von Plush

Great Liberal

PLUSHI Resources Director,

Keeper of the FLYFF,

DIAMOND Collector,

King of Salford,
Lord Protector of Plushiland,
Pontifex Maximus of the Great Plushi in the Sky,
Lord President of the Privy Council of Plushiland,
Grand Vizier (AY AY AY),
Office of the King,
Plushi Towers,
Plushiland

Thursday, 27 November 2014

Greetings. November is a month of Birthdays. On the 9th of November the Germans commemorated how the Berlin Wall came down 25 years ago on the 9 November 1989. This was long before We, the Great Ratti Von Plush was born/stitched. So not that important as it was BR (Before Ratti). Then two days later We celebrated our Birthday, on 11 November. (Rattember as the month has been renamed in Plushi-Land.) We celebrated in our usual way by being given DIAMONDS.

DIAMONDS All Mine!

We am now 11 in HUMAN years (but do not tell Facebook as they think We
are older), And about 31 in Plushi years. There are about three Plushi
years to each HUMAN year. King Drooley also celebrated his birthday this
month, but We cannot remember the date or how old he is, he looks
rather thread Bear, but Bears do not age well, unlike us, Kangaroos.

Rattember Birthdays, King Drooley and Ratti von Plush

King Drooley Birthday listening to Adventures of Paddingtion

Have you seen the clip of Two of our Cousins Fighting. We think they were fighting over DIAMONDs, so greedy. We could use a few Battle-Roos to take over the world. Another Cousin of mine, Zippi has escaped from a farm in Brandenburg in East German. As you might know Kangaroos are not really native to Germany, and seeing it is rather cold, she might not survive. We are hoping that she is found quickly, as she has a six month old baby with her (called a ROO). There are HUMANS out looking for them, but HUMANS are not that clever.

No further Cuteness allowed!

Then it seems that a town in Poland has decided that Pooh-Bear is not appropriate for HUMAN Children because he/she is gender neutral and shock horror does not wear trousers. Well, We know a few Poohs and they seem very suited to children!

No Trousers or Pants.

News of another celebrity BEAR, the Paddington's Film is to be released in the next few days. Trailer on Youtube. We really think that BEARs are always hogging the lime/spotlight. Needs to be more films about Kangaroos and DIAMONDS. Well affairs of state demand my attention. We Need to get on the phone to Luxembourg to sort out a special DIAMOND tax deal.

Art work from the Book

Finally, a Great HUMAN Friend of Plushiland, has written a book all about talking animals, called the Radiant Hearts of Badgers, as you Know WE love Badgers in Plushiland, the book is available on Kindle.

Ratti Von Plush

Great Liberal

PLUSHI Resources Director,

Keeper of the FLYFF,

DIAMOND Collector,

King of Salford,
Lord Protector of Plushiland,
Pontifex Maximus of the Great Plushi in the Sky,
Lord President of the Privy Council of Plushiland,
Grand Vizier (AY AY AY),
Office of the King,
Plushi Towers,
Plushiland

Friday, 31 October 2014

Greetings and Salutations, Plushis (Soft Toys) and HUMANS. We, the Great Ratti Von Plush, wish you a Happy Halloween. Tonight when spirits roam the earth and Plushis come to life.

Seems, WE have missed out on meeting some really interesting Creatures. So who has heard of the Marsupial Lion (Thylacoleo-carnifex)? What a Lion with a Pooch (Pouch). 'Tis true upon OUR Fluff. But Alas the Marsupial Lion has been extinct for several thousand years. They died out shortly after HUMANS got to Australia. But while they were around they did eat a few HUMANS. Further meal choices included the Giant Kangaroo, Great, great, great.....Aunty Eudora and the Giant Wombat, who was the size of a small car. Think of something French. WE can insult them they do not read My blog anyway.

Why OUR interest? A Thylacoleo would be useful to help me take control of Plushiland and maybe even the World. They would Eat any Resistance. WE Have been checking the Lions of Plushiland, but neither Simba, the Tofu Lion nor Madame Zhi-Zhi clearly do not have Pooches!

Plushiland's Lions

Gediva and Pooch Bear

Any attempt by ME to sew on Pooches has been resisted. Apart from Kangaroos in Plushiland, Only Mr Price Pooch Bear von Plush has a Pouch, but he lacks the killer instinct.

Ratti only manages to attract Prince George

Source Guardian.co.uk

Talking of using animals for OUR schemes WE have been trying to train the local squirrel (Eichhoernchen-German). Yes, my dear Brit-Plushers (England) a RED Squirrel. WE see that Horrible Human, Prince Charles Arthur Philip George Windsor-Mountbatten of Brit-Plush has given the go ahead to kill the Grey Squirrels (American Invaders) on his Cromwell Estate, in England. WE will not say anything against inherited wealth and privilege. But WE have earned OUR position in Plushiland by hard work. Surely the Brit-Plush secret service could train the Grey Squirrels as Spies. As WE did!

Of course Badgers are being killed for the second year in England, the Squirrels have always suffered in England as Immigrants. Only the red ones are liked (England for English Squirrels only.). Even the

Three Beavers and Tollie

three beavers in Devon, England are at risked of being "re-homed" BY A bullet. One last rant about Brit-Plush then WE are done.

That Cameron Chap of England, must pay the billions he owes the European Union. Queen Merkel of Germany (Deutsch-Plush) should demand HER MONEY back! Just like Mrs Thatcher did in the 1980's. WE, WE means Plushiland cannot get funds from the EU's Expansion to China Budget, until Cameron (British Prime Minister) pays up. So until then the building of OUR Palace, Villa, Humble Abode, a mere Hovel really has come to a standstill.

King of Salford,
Lord Protector of Plushiland,Pontifex Maximus of the Great Plushi in the Sky,
Lord President of the Privy Council of Plushiland,
Grand Vizier (AY AY AY),
Office of the King,
Plushi Towers,
Plushiland

Tuesday, 30 September 2014

Welcome to all my fans and followers. I, Ratti, have more news to share with you. It seems that some of the members of Plushiland are not following proper procedure. I am supposed to be on all trips that the HUMAN undertakes. But some of bad Plushis have been stowing away and making unauthorised trips. Redd Ratti and Gediva aka Bobby S. seem to have had gone a trip that I did not know about it. I thought that Redd Ratti was working for me, but seems that he is also working for his own interests. I will just have to clamp down harder on unauthorised travel.

Instead we had a short trip at the weekend to a Resort Town. Lots of old HUMANS with long faces. Horrible!! We were hosted by the PLushis of the town.

Fluff Wine Please

Ratti Meets Plushis of Bad D, DE

Unfortunately the PLushis live with HUMAN children. Our delegation had to be careful not to be touched by Sticky HUMAN Hands. Horrible, messes up your Fluff. I can report that appropriate transport was laid on for me.

Ratti Von Plush on Royal Tour

We also received an Asylum application from Nikki, the Spanish Dragon. I dealt with the request immediately and Nikki was able to escape the clutches of the HUMAN Children to a PLushiland. Once again I want to thank our hosts, both HUMAN and Plushi in Bad D, DE.

King of Salford,
Lord Protector of Plushiland,
Pontifex Maximus of the Great Plushi in the Sky,
Lord President of the Privy Council of Plushiland,
Grand Vizier (AY AY AY),
Office of the King,
Plushi Towers,
Plushiland

Saturday, 30 August 2014

Ratti von Plush greets you his faithful HUMAN followers. It has come to my attention that certain Plushi-Rodents have been sneaking off to school. We do not generally encourage Plushis to get educated.

Plushi off to School

Red Ratti on Public transport

Red Ratti in the Park

We only really approve of Margi's Finishing School. It is very important that Plushi do not become too educated. The next thing you know they will stop believing in the Great Plushi in the Skye. As the High Priest I will be out of one of my jobs.

Secondly, education always leads to the ruled starting to question the rulers right to rule. What non-sense. But it seems that the two were more interested in a day-out of Plushiland than actual education. They soon lost interest, so the risk to my authority has passed.

Dictators do not like education or other ideas, just ask Mr Putin. Fortuantely we so not have any Russian-Plushis in Plushiland, otherwise I imagine we would have tanks at the borders of PLushiland too.

In the last few weeks we have had two new Plushis join PLushiland. Miss Geegee and Mr Biber, no not that irritating twink/twit-singer. Both Plushis came from flea markets. Poor Miss Geegeee [the HUMAN says you spell it "Zhi-Zhi"] had been waiting so long for a home, she had given up hope on ever finding friends. We had to wash the fleas off her. Mr Biber has joined PLushiland's other two beavers, Biebie and Armani (originally from Italy), in the Plushiland Beavers Union (not banned yet).

Mr Biber von Plush hard at work

Miss Geegee / Zhi-Zhi after her wash. Had her hair done too.

The Horrible HUMANS in England are getting ready to kill this year's condemmed Badgers. I can only repeat what I said last year. MURDERERS!
I might find myself in London next month on a State Visit and would like to give that HUMAN, David Cameron, a piece of my FLuff-Mind. Nasty MANN.

HUMAN you may carry ME. See I have more influence with the European Union that that David Cameron, HUMAN

Ratti Von Plush,
Great Liberal

PLUSHI Resources Director,

Keeper of the FLYFF,

DIAMOND Collector,

King of Salford,
Lord Protector of Plushiland,
Pontifex Maximus of the Great Plushi in the Sky,
Lord President of the Privy Council of Plushiland,
Grand Vizier (AY AY AY),
Office of the King,
Plushi Towers,
Plushiland