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Friday, August 08, 2014

PR 13 Ep 3: Past. Present. Future ... Tense.

This is a futuristic challenge, but was somehow convoluted into a birthday celebration for the 20th anniversary of Marie Claire magazine. See, the designtestants will have to take inspiration from their lives in 1994 and create a look that screams 2034 but can be worn in 2014. I think Michael J. Fox did it better in a series of films from the 80s.

Just sayin’ … but they have one day and two-hundred bucks to impress me the judges, so let’s rip …

THE SAFES—left to right, top to bottom

Mitchell is from South Florida and in 20 years it’ll be underwater so he wanted to go scuba top with a bubble skirt until Tim called Scuba Ice Skating Tutu. Then he went pant suit with seams that don’t line up, making it seem like she was wearing low, low hip-huggers. Not good.

Char made a cute pantsuit, but from looking at her design, Samantha’s and Emily’s it seems their future is a cowl neck. M’kay.

Samanthawent schoolgirl from 2014. That’s all.

Hernancreated a look for an upcoming Broadway revival of Kiss of the Spiderwoman. And anytime you embarrass a model by showing her boobs in the workroom, it’s time for a rethink.

Fade seems to have run out of time and pulled a look from his closet at the Gotham because this is Female Fade.

Korinawent bumblebee and half-mesh, half-solid jacket and pants from an old episode of Star Trek.

Amanda is lucky she had Immunity—and I said it before Heidi called her out on the runway—because this is just weird. You can’t retread bellbottoms and call it the future. It’s a blast busted look from the 90s.

Kinithinks the future is skinny jeans and a cape. It’s not. I mean, it’s nice, but didn’t meet the challenge.

TOP THREE

SANDHYA

I like her. I don’t think she’ll win because, in essence, her looks are simple, with some tricky embellishments and this isn’t Project Embellishment—they tried that show and it lasted about a hot minute or so. But I like her aesthetic and that she really thinks about the design.

This week, her Back to the Future look is all about recycling and female empowerment. It seems an odd mix, but it works and she explains it well. The one problem she has might be too much accessorizing; she wanted to add chains and pins to the deign—in addition to the gold tubing—until Tim basically napped her out of it.

WHAT THEY SAID

It’s a futuristic strong woman … I think it’s all those things

WHAT I SAID

It’s a simple cocktail dress with a gold boa … constrictor … around the neck. And lord, what’s with the lipstick? That girl looks like she has some sort of abscess.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Nina loved it; the color, the idea. She called it refreshing and … Buzzword Alert … editorial. She loved the fantasy and the reality and ended with “It’s phenomenal.” Guest judge Anne Fulenwider called thought it looked like we might need oxygen tanks in the future, but loved it anyway, while fellow guest Amanda de Cadenet—who got a seat on the panel because she has a new Lifetime show that follows the PR—called it brave and bold, and loved how Sandhya created the pockets that, when a woman puts her hands inside, creates a different shape for the dress. Heidi didn’t love it, but did love that Sandhya took a risk and created a showpiece. The Adorable Zac Posen™ called it weird, good, cool and well-done.

WHAT HAPPENED

Much to the chagrin of her fellow designers Sandhya got her second win of the season. Let the Hate-a-thon begin.

KRISTINE

I’m gonna say it, “Kristine played the Suck Up card.” When Marie Claire big-shot Anne Fulenwider said she loved grunge in the 90s, Kristine made sure to use that in her design. But then she also said she was inspired by the movie Clueless and I was completely clueless as to what that even meant.

WHAT THEY SAID

It’s minimalistic, it’s clean, it’s strong and powerful

WHAT I SAID

I loved the coat with the sleeve treatment, though the dress underneath seemed kind of a throwaway. I did, however, liked that she brought some of that green fabric to the back of the dress.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Nina loved it; Nina wanted it. She loved the army green over the pure white; she loved the sleeves, the layering but she hated the accessories and the makeup. Heidi thought Kristine nailed it because she loves a short short dress; but she also loved the fabric of the jacket and the leather crop top and skirt. The Adorable Zac Posen™ thought that while it was a polished look, it wasn’t very futuristic and he called her out on the 90s grunge idea saying that it was so 90s and so 2014 but was it really 2034? Anne thought it hit the mark in being both complex and simple, while Amanda didn’t care for the jacket but thought the look chic.

WHAT HAPPENED

For a moment I thought she might win because she created four pieces, but in the end she placed second.

EMILY

If I heard her mention Ewok Hoodie one more time I was gonna Ewok all over my TV.

I did like that this was an idea she’d had in the 90s—she’s one of the older designers—but was worried that she wanted the hoodie to transform into a purse. Luckily Tim came by and put the kibosh on the trickery.

WHAT THEY SAID

You can wear it to work; it’s great for day. You can wear it on a date.

WHAT I SAID

It’s a pantsuit with a hoodie. It was good, not great, but I think she made Top Three because her model rocked that shiz on the runway. Somebody owes her girl a muffin basket … not that she’d eat it.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Heidi wants; she loves the back of the pantsuit and the length of the pant; she loves the textures and called it future but not comic. Anne, like me, wanted Emily to stop saying ‘Ewok’ and stick with warrior superhero; oh, and she wants one, too. Amanda wants one as well, if it can be made to accommodate her large boobs—that’s what she said. I was waiting for The Adorable Zac Posen™ to say he wanted to wear one as well, but he stuck with saying it was Emily’s best work so far, and that it was simple, but still a look for today and tomorrow. Nina wasn’t feeling it—she does not want one—but admitted that it was a powerful look. And she credited the model for working it on the runway, agreeing with me that without that fierce diva strut, Emily may not have gone Top Three.

WHAT HAPPENED

Third place for the look; first place for the model.

BOTTOM THREE

SEAN

He sees a cluttered future so he goes minimal with a simple coat and a turtleneck black knit dress beneath. When Tim stopped by for coffee, he called it chic and sophisticated, though he worried about the wrinkly fabric.

I like Sean—yes, he has that cute accent—but he also seems to really think about his looks. But, it might be that when Sean has too much time, he over-thinks his work. I mean, how else do we explain his taking the mood bag, cutting it up, and turning it into some damp-looking pimp hat?

WHAT THEY SAID

It looks clean and simple. It looks sophisticated and mature. It has class.

WHAT I SAID

It looks boring. Why not show the dress because now it looks like all you really designed was a jacket … and a really bad hat.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Heidi called it disappointing and said it looked like the model was caught in a downpour; she pointed out the wrinkles, the ass-high back-slit and the wonky hemline. All Anne could say was, Lose the hat, though she managed to add that she’d never worn, and would never wear, a turtleneck dress. The Adorable Zac Posen™ is the only judge who seems to like Sean’s look, though his calling it “Mary Poppins at Prada” didn’t seem like high praise; nor does him saying, It’s not that bad.Nina was hoping for the Matrix and hated that she got Poppins, and said it was not at all creative. Amanda simply said Sean missed the mark … unless the mark was Poppins Prada rainwear?

WHAT HAPPENED

Since the judges seem to think Sean is a good designer, who just effed up this week, and possibly because The Adorable Zac Posen™ might have a wee crush, Sean is safe.

ALEXANDER

His story about his single mother and afghan rugs and his childhood didn’t seem to fit into what amounts to a Show-us-the-future challenge, but away he went calling is look kind of Warrior Woman.

With a uni-boob. As Tim notes, Alexander’s top is puckering and when the model tried it on, her slightly bigger than other model’s bazoombas make it look like a shelf covered in green leather on her chest.

Start over. Make an A-line dress out of the rug-like fabric and then put on a leather harness. Oh joy … another harness.

WHAT THEY SAID

I’m happy with the way it looking, the way it’s moving

WHAT I SAID

It looks like a reusable shopping bag. Seriously. Sew up the bottom and use the harness as a handle and off to Kroger I go.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Heidi said it was an old rag … an old blanket … an old potato sack, while The Adorable Zac Posen™ went with Maternity Mop and said the color choices made it seem dirty; he also said it was harness moo-moo sad. Then Heidi piped back up, saying it wasn’t today and it wasn’t twenty years from today. Nina wasn’t having it, saying it looked like something from the Planet of the Apes and the model was an ape! Anne hated the color, thought it looked plain and wondered if Betty Rubble or Wilma Flintstone might like it. Apparently Amanda was so disgusted by it that she was unable to speak.

WHAT HAPPENED

Alex was lucky. He dodged a bullet last night because that look should have sent him home were it not for …

ANGELA

Again with the delicate touch? When did she hear a judge say they liked her delicate touch? I heard the judges tell her to step it up and be bold and then she does this?

She says she’s inspired to update the look that women who work on Wall Street normally were by making a one-lapelled-sleeveless jacket. That’s all she’s got; even when Tim stops by she has no idea about anything other than the jacket. For all the worrying and running and crying she does, you’d think she’d be further along, but you’d be wrong.

WHAT THEY SAID

I think I did what I set out to do. It looks clean, it looks polished.

WHAT I SAID

That skirt is so short it looks less like what a woman who works on Wall Street might wear and more like what a woman who works a corner on Wall Street might wear. Plus, do not get me started on that Delicate Touch Color.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Heidi sums it up with this: "She's getting more and more sad-looking, and so are her clothes." She did say she loved the idea of updated Working Girl—teehee, see what I did there?—but it is unfinished and boring and those little ears on the skirt? W?T?F? The Adorable Zac Posen™ said it looked more futuristic stewardess than Wall Street and Amanda agreed with that assessment. He also seems to have purchased the Michael Kors Snark Quote Book, Volumes 1 though 27, because he said the girl looked like Obi-wan Kenobi’s manicurist. Not the best Kors-ism, but it’ll do. Anne said the skirt was way too short for any office setting and thought the lapel looked m ore like a tie—which has been seen and done before. Nine kept it simple: Houston? We have a problem.

WHAT HAPPENED

The problem was solved when Angela went home … or to see her therapist … or to ask for all her tuition money back from whatever design school she attended.

The look on Korina's face after finding out Sandhya won was priceless. I hope we see it every week because she thinks she’s so great and so far, yeah, not so much.

I loved the Throwback Thursday of the cast: Tim hasn’t changed a whit since ’94, while Nina looked like a teenager in her pictures. And The Adorable Zac Posen™ was far gayer back in the day. Heidi? She looked like Heidi; the woman doesn’t change.

As the episode started, Smug Amanda suggested that since she had immunity she would kill it this week and win again. Cue ominous drumming. At Mood she bragged about how everyone else runs wild but she knows just wear to look. Cue ominous claps of thunder. As she preps her bellbottoms she seems positive that this look will win. Cue lightning strikes.

What I mean is, I don’t care for her.

Line of the night? Tim, commenting on Angela’s look: It needs to be euthanized!

4 comments:

Re Sandhya's, once again improbable win,I wanted one of the judges, or Tim, to ask the model to sit down and work at a desk for an hour. Bet the decoration would have tangled, gotten in the way, chafed her arms and she would have ripped it off in half the time.

Poor Angela. We were so glad she went home as she was very painful to watch. If she stayed I think we would have had one of those ambulance shots.

I don't understand what the judges see in Sandhya's looks. But, to her credit, she is always able to intelligently defend them and she's able to keep her emotions off the runway unlike some of the other, less mature, designers. But still, her clothes always look like costumes to me.

Angela's design was positively awful but I think Alexander's was worse. I could've made that, in the dark, with some duct tape and a blanket purchased at a gas station along the interstate.

While Sandrya's outfit wasnt the least bit practical, at least it had a bit of the unusual, something none of the other designers managed. Ya know, you would have thought a future challenge would have brought forth some more unusual ideas.

My fav? Fade's! His outfit looked simple, very wearable, and would have worked for a male or female body. So, his worked in a practical way for "life in the future" of less of everything.

And its all coming back to me now why I didnt like Amanda the first go around....