Hey everyone!
Kristin mentioned earlier that we have been very busy lately. Our school have loaded us with exams, tests and presentations that needs to be done before the summer holiday, and even more exams! I have stressed alot. The picture explains everything I feel right now. Lately, I have felt that I do too much. I worry over the smallest things, and everything that happends to me affects me, mostly in a negativ way. I sort of go to a school were we train alot. Because I have been sick alot this year, I haven’t managed to train as much as I should have. Guess what? I’m lying here with the flu right now. This is the SEVENTH time since January… Maybe now, you understand my desperation? The doctors can’t figure out what is wrong with me. I take pills for my imunsystem, which should keep me up and going, but nothing helps. It is very frustrating to be an athlete, when you always get sick and can never “do your best”… I try to stay positive, but I gonna be honest, it is very hard. Lately I have figured out that I stress more than I am aknown. Well, everyone have actually told me that since I was a child. I get stressed over the smallest things. Like, if I can’t catch the bus, or about which school I want to go to in the future, if I sleep too little etc.. The smallest things… I work, I go to school, I train alot and I am suppose to be social and “keep up” about what happends in our society… I can’t do it all… I am human, although I would like to be a robot sometimes. My biggest concern now these days is a running test at my school. First of all, I used to be very good at running. But, because of my illness this year, my shape is not exactly good. I am not affraid of pain, it is just that If I get a bad grade, it will ruin my characters for getting in to lawschool. Stress. I have thought about this so much, that I got sick. The reason for why I stress so much, is because of what happened to my dad… I had to grow up back then, I got a responsiblity. Since then, I worry about everything.

What I am trying to say, is that stress = no good. I am really trying to stay positive, but it is really hard. I need to stress less, and maybe if you have some advices you want to share with me/us? 🙂 Don’t say yoga, I have tried that, but it doesn’t work for me, unfortunately…

I also want to say something tragic that has happened. Earlier this week, Norway’s biggest Olympic hope, Alexander Dale Oen, died. Kristin and me are both swimmers, and we can’t describe what emptiness we feel. First of all, he was/is our biggest rolemodel. He made Norway famous under VM when he won the distance 100 m breast, when he swam for Norway because of the horrible massacre that happened to our country on the 22th July. He died this Monday in Flagstaff, only 26 years old… He cried for Norway, now, Norway cries for him!

Today I wanted to talk about hate. The huge reason for why I choose this picture, is because maaaaaaany people “hate” Justin Bieber. First of all, I gotta say, I LOOOOOVE HIM!!!! Hahahhaha Yes, I am one of those “Belibers” 😛 Many people might find this very “jailbait” ( do you use that word? In Norway, that is the term of girls who act very childish, but at the same time trying to be like adults). We might lose some followers or readers because of this post, but the theme of the post is hate. Why do we hate people? Is it because of jealousy? Anger? The satisfaction by promote yourself as a better person? To be honest, I think it is jealousy. When we are jealous, negative thoughts spin inside our heads. We think “why doesn’t I have that?”, “why is he/she better than me?”, “I wanna be like her” etc… Only negative thoughts. And that ruins a lot! Mostly, it ruins for ourself.

So back to Justin Bieber. It is perfectly legally to don’t like an artists music. It is normal, and acceptable. But, why hate him? He is only 18 years old. He is still a teenager, and he has been criticiced since he was 14 and posted his music videos on Youtube. He was in a vulnerable age, and no wonder he had so many negative thoughts. He has achieved lot, he has won several prices, released many albums and he has a great voice (I think so, and 40 million other people). My point is, to all of you haters, why even bother to hate him? You use incredible lot of energy, in a negative way, that only cause you more negative things… And yes, I do “hate” some artists myself… I need to let go of these thoughts.

I really love that picture. Hahaha today, I thought of something (I know, I think to much) that I really care about other peoples opinion. The other day I ordered some shorts from Runwaydreamz (birthday present), and when I showed my mother the shorts I had selected, she said “you can find much better shorts to such a lower price than that!” But I loved them, and I ordered them. If this situation happened some years ago, I probably wouldn’t have ordered them. Well, when it comes to my family, I don’t care about situations that silly, when it comes to clothes, shoes and looks, thats my descision, so I can laugh at it when I get older 😛 Either way, I am one of those people who care alot of what people think. If I for an example feel healthy, and someone says “Marte, you look sick!”, I start to think “Ohhh no, do I??” And as a result, I get sick. According to the law of attraction, If you say “I don’t want to sick”, you do get sick, because the law does not answer to words like no, don’t or other negative words. The law responses to what you are thinking of and what you want, but if you use negative words, you will get that too. What I am trying to say is, do we really need other peoples opinion? Do we need other people to approve what we are thinking and mean? I don’t see the point, we are supposed to be independent people with our own opinions, and even though the society says something else, we are not suppose to care… BUT WE DO! If someone said to me that I was a mean person, I would have thought of it, even though that I know that I am not. It is like poison, it brings no good.and spreads quickly. Therefore, when I saw this picture on weheartit, I instantly liked it. If we care less, smile more and try to feel good ( which is very important for receiving things), we will:
1. Feel better about ourself.
2. Get a higher confidence.
3. Laugh more.
4. Be more spontanius.
5. Receive more.

The biggest part of the Secret, is btw to feel good. And those tips seem very smart 🙂

Last night, I couldn’t sleep. To many thoughts spinned inside my head. To be honest, I was negative. I thought of all the people I was jealous about and in the end, I became upset. Everyone has those days, right? 🙂 Well, because I couldn’t sleep, I started to read the Secret. The thing about the Secret, is that unmatter how many times I descide to finish it, I never do. I think I have started to read it like four times, but last night, I finally finished. The reason for why I never finished, was because it is a lot of info, and your mind and way of thinking totally change during the book. It is a lot to handle in short time, therefore, I like to read small pieces from it day to day.

Nevertheless, when I thought those negative thoughts, I started to think about compliments. Many people say that one bad comment, measure up 100 good compliments. And I agree on that one. It is hard to think positive thoughts about yourself, and the reason is that you don’t want to seem superior. You don’t want people to think that you think that you are better than someone else. Therefore, we start to think negative thoughts and negative things about ourself. THIS IS WRONG! It totally destroyes your confidence, and ability to be satisfied with yourself as a person in this world.

For some years ago, I had a fight with my bestfriend (not Kristin). We fought and argued and we sad some really bad things to each other. It ended up that we both said things we never should have said, and when we became friends, I never really forgot the thing she said about me. Unmatter how many times she apologized, I couldn’t forget it. I know she said it just to hurt me, but it felt like she stabbed me in my heart. Now I laugh at the whole situation. We were young, and childish. And we are good friends today.

But, why is it that we always think about the negative? It totally destroyes everything! People must learn to accept compliments, and to give! A small thing you notice, for an example: “You look great today” can really brightend your day up. At least mine do. When people say positive things about me, I embrace it. I remember it, and I really appriciate it. It makes me feel good. That people think something good about me, and see me as something positive.
And really, people who say something bad about you and doesn’t even know you, they are the weird ones. It is very hard to just accept that some people think you are something that you’re not, but that is their descision, and their problem. If they really want to spend their energy thinking something of you that you’re not, that is up to them. I need to learn this too.

When I turned on the TV today, I watched MTV’s program called “I used to be fat”. I really like that program. It is about teenagers who struggle with something, and have started to use food as a way to deal with things. As a result, they are very heavy. During the show, we see that they struggle to fight. They think they are not strong enough. They begin questioning their will, and what power it has. That is why I really like that show, because in the end, they all achieve what they want, and they relaize that they can do whatever they want. I think that is amazing. Confidence, and know that you have a power inside you, that doesn’t only bring things into your life, but it helps you do the things you are afraid of and accomplice what you want. Because face it, everyone has a picture of how your life should be. At least I do. Today my goals are to be as good as I can be in swimming, get good enough grades to go to lawschool, get the fit body I always have wanted, be more spontanenous, judge less, bless more and think more positive thoughts. During the years, I have realized that willpower is a huge thing. When I went to primaryschool I didn’t had any confidence, and I honestly thought that I was useless. Probably because I struggled with reading and writing, I sucked gymclass and I wasn’t satisfied with my self.

I remember one day when we sat in a group at school, and everyone were supposed to say something good about someone else. When it was my turn to receive a compliment, people said that I was sweet. Sweet doesn’t exactly say something about what I am good at, so when I went home, I descided that now I wanted to be good at school and be better at sports. And I did. When it was time for me to begin in 8th grade, I was one of the smartest and the strongest in gymclass. I succeded because of my willpower.

So today, when I saw these teenagers, at the same age as me, I remembered that I can do whatever I want. I have a strong willpower, and this has grown in me for the last years. If I really want to do something, I do it. Nothing can ever stop me, if I really want something 🙂 I like that thought 🙂 It makes me happy and positiv, and the same comes to you! You just need to make a choice that you want it 🙂

Todays compliment: I have nice blue eyes with sunflowers in the middle 🙂

The first thing that I thought of this morning was my homework. The feeling that I am done with everything that needs to be done 🙂 What a wonderful feeling. Not only have I satisfied my parents, teachers, grandparents and my classmates, but I have finished what the society expects from me. Let me repeat; what a wonderful feeling!

If you think about it, there are many expectations to you as a person in this world. We must have good grades, look beautiful, be smart, be social, be kind, lovely, be good at sports and of course be a normal functional person in the society. I have always struggled with this. My father, which I do look very up to, even though he has hurt me and my family, were perfect, and I have always heard that. In Norway, we have a different gradesystem than in Britain and the USA, as I am aware of. We have grades from 1- 6, 6 is the best and 1 is the worst. My dad graduated with 6.0. He was also very talented in football, and people look very up too him. In 10th grade, I did graduated as one of the best with 5.4, but I felt it wasn’t enough.. Not only do I work hard at school, but I train every day and work as a swimcoach and as newspaper seller. And the reason is because of expectations. The society wants us to be barbies, with no flaws or failures. It is truly exhausting. As the years have past, I have got a better confidence. I don’t always see flaws and things that needs to be better anymore, because we all have our good days, right? Well, I don’t look like Victoria’s Secret models, and I don’t have the perfect body. More than anything I wan’t to look secure when I am in a bikini, and no, I am far from being fat, but I don’t have the “perfect look” either. I guess, that because of our high demands, we feel pressured. At least I do. I don’t feel perfect, and unmatter how flawless I want to be, or how dressed up I am, I can still find flaws. The weird thing though, is that I don’t really find huge flaws about others. I only care about myself. I am not good enough, not good enough to be a barbie.

One other thing, is that I don’t want to let people down. There are many times that I just want to screw school, and “flow with the wind”, but I can’t do that.. I want to be lawyer. A succeded person. My father and mother always brag about me, and I know that they are very proud of me. When I get grade 4, they support me, but it is not a good grade. I get disapointed, and I feel that 4 is like 1. Even 5 isn’t good enough, only 6.. Because of those feelings, I get disapoined, a lot.

I do think this as something to do with happiness. I have been through some tough times, and because of that, I have felt very insecure. I want to make everyone satisfied, especially my parents, because of everything that as happened. If everyone in the society expected less, I do think that we would have been more satisfied with our self. It is a positive thing though, to push yourself, but make sure that you don’t get exhausted. Been there, done that, and this is still something I need to work on.

Therefore, to build myself a better confidence, I will start to say something positive about myself everyday and in every post I post on this blog. Not to brag about myself, but to prove that this “perfect society” is bullshit, and that EVERYONE should be satisfied with themselfes.

I am very good at giving compliments to others, haha 🙂

You should give yourself a compliment, you will feel better 🙂 And, don’t think that I don’t like my job or swimming, I LOVE IT, but sometimes, we all can be a little tired 🙂

Today I woke up by that my Ipod messaged me that I had got an new notification on Facebook. Because I am sick, I am home and repairing my body. The last days, I have accepted that I have an infection in my body, and it needs to heal, and that I am healing in this second. I have been very negative about that, thinking: ” ahhhh I can’t train, what will happen with my swimpractise…” or ” I am so tired of being sick, there is no end …” etc…. Negative feelings and negative thoughts. I discover that I do complain a lot, or not all the time, but I complain. I bet everyone on this planet complain sometimes. Like ” ahhhh must we have that to dinner again” or ” I really need that jacket because the one I got is old” etc…
The Secret teach us that we must appricate things we have. If we constantly think about the things we don’t have, we only bring things that we don’t want, into our lives. We must be grateful. Especially countries and continents like the USA and Norway and other countries that belongs to the rich part of the world. We have so many options, so many choices and we live in a community were people take care of us. At least here in Norway, the community take care of us from the day we are born and to the day we die.
Nevertheless, the notifcation I got on Facebook, told me about a sort of campaign. The campaign is named “KONY 2012”. As many of us know, in Africa, especially Uganda, there are several sorts of riots. Children soliders, rapes, killing, food disasters, not enough water etc… Things we can’t imagine living with and without. The campaign is about a man named Joseph Kony. He is the leader of a rebelgroup called LRA. He kidnaps children, torture them, make the girls become sexslaves, makes young children kill people especially their own parents, cut their arms, legs and neck of and he drug children with several different narcotics. He is the first man on the list of “The worlds most dangerous people”, and eventhough he has admitted his crimes, he is not arrested. Many people don’t know who he is, but this campaign wants to change that. The USA has sent over hundreds of soliders in Uganda to arrest Joseph Kony, but because people in the society don’t know who he is, and that it is not enough money, they want to cancel it. Therefore, this campaign is about making Joseph Kony worldfamous. Everyone should know what people in Uganda is going through, and by searching ” Invisible Children” on Facebook, you can join the group and support this case. On April 20th, people around the world will be gathered in streets all over the world to post severeal posters in the street to make Joseph Kony famous. If you still want to know more, please watch this video: http://www.youtube.com/​watch?v=Y4MnpzG5Sqc

This is important! Not only for Uganda, but for the world.

After watching this, I started to think. I became ashamed for complaining. I have never in my life felt afraid being killed, raped or losing a family member in a situation like that. The children in Uganda, who are slaves and children soliders, they have the right to complain! We have everything and anything, and most people in Uganda have nothing. This was a “wake up call” for me, I really started to appricate what I have. I have a family who loves me, several different friends, I go to the school I want, I can swim, I can speak my own opinion and I can be whatever I want! I have enough food, water, clothes and money. I can’t really imagine living a life like the people in Uganda does, or live a life in poverty, which many people in this world do.

Appriciate what you have and be grateful. You as a reader at this blog must have a connection to the internet, and that shows us that everyone who reads this, can be grateful.

I started to think about something. Who am I? How do people look at me as a person? Do they think I am nice? a good girl? pretty? smart? stupid? I have always heard that your past defines you. By reading the Secret, I know I must let go of my negative emotions and feelings from the past, but for me, that is not that easy.
You see, I have changed a lot during the years, actually several times. My life has taken several diffrent directions and turned my life up-side down so many times. I hear all the time ” Ahhh I remember how you were before Marte!, HAHAHAHA”. People laugh,and I do to. Maybe I was a little weird, but there is more that meets the eye.

When it comes to my looks, I have always been a little chubby. Hanging around with Barbies didn’t exactly give me confidence. Luckily for me, my dad is a personal trainer. We started to work out when I was about 12 years old, and my weight slowly went away. I became happier. We started to work out with a woman, called “Mary”. Mary was tan, fit and very friendly. I liked her, and I looked up to her. But, life took a direction. It turned out that my father had an affaire with this woman. A lot happened. Mary started to call me and theratened me about my family, and that if she would do anything to ruin my family. This chase actually went to court. My dad ended up with sitting six months in jail. This period lasted over three years. At first I didn’t tell anyone about it. I kept it all inside me, and that was difficult. Kristin was one of the first people I told it to, she is such a good friend, and without her, I wouldn’t have survived. During that period, I changed. I was now responisble for my family while my dad was gone. My mom descided to forgive my dad, and their marriage today is better than ever. I have one little sister, and I felt really responsible for her during this time. At the time, she was only eight years old, and didn’t understood alot. Because of all of this, I changed. I didn’t really appriciate things, didn’t really “love ” my life and my swimming, sucked.

My point is, during the last years, I am finally over this. I have actully got a confidence, and I am really satisfield with my life. I have forgiven my father, but I am still very bitter and angry sometimes. I became an adult very quick, and therefore I also think many negative thoughts , because of everything that as happened. I am really trying to change my way of thinking, but it will take some more time. Life is beautiful, and things will always be better, unmatter how dark it seems 🙂

Today, I got some good news. I was at my doctor, and because I have an infection I feel very lousy. I am not ass ill as Kristin, but I have had the flu three times since January 1st. Even though I have started to think positive thoughts, I do feel a little bit of bitterness. I haven’t been able to train as I should for several weeks now, and we recent got a trainer, who as got several swimmers to the Olympics! Yes, I hunger to train! But, it will take some more time. Nevertheless, because it was sunny today, I started to think about what I look forward to 🙂 And many of those things has to do with summer. I love summer! The weather, the temperature, the ocean, the beach, bikinies, the sun, hanging out with friends, travel etc…
When it is sunny outside, I automatically get a better day. Do you?
So, this year, this summer, will be special. My family always travels to Greece for three weeks, and this year is no exception 🙂 We travel to a place called Hanioti in Halkidiki. It is not a big city, but the people are so nice and very friendly. I totally recommend it. This year, I will also travel to Torremolinos in Spain on a training camp (swimming) with my swimming team. I look so forward to this 🙂
I also look forward to just relax. My day is very hectic and I stress to much and to often. I need a vacation, and maybe I am not the only one? 🙂 To look forward to things makes me happy, and when I am happy, I am positive 🙂 Recommend that to!
Anyway, I hope you also had a good day 🙂 And I am looking forward to my time in the sun 🙂

If you are a perfect human creature that only think positive thoughts, you are my hero. As I have mentioned before, I do think many negative thoughts during the day, and that only gives my more negative situations to handle. Seems unfair? Well, our thoughts become things. That is the law of attraction, so if you think positive thoughts, you will recieve positive things.
When I read this, I automatically started to think, “well, I didn’t wanted to get sick?” “drop work -outs” ” feel terrible” etc…. I got angry. I thought that I only thought positive things, but I have now discovered that even though I did think positive, I didn’t convinced my brain. My negative thoughts were still in my brain, and even though how “positive” I was, I was still negative inside….

So, I have therefore descided that now I’m going to get rid of these thoughts by writing them down.

My negative thoughts:
– get cancer.
– Never get healthy.
– not thin enough.
– get fat.
– end up alone ( haha yes).
– don’t get accepted to go to law school.
– get bad grades.
– disapoint my parents.
– not be a good sister.
– be a bad friend.
– that I don’t “live my life”.
– Being boring.
– people don’t like me.

I have so many more negative thoughts than positive, and the reason is because I constantly stress and overthink things. I am terrified that something bad is going to happen to me, but now, these thoughts can go straight to **** 😀