We May Never See Photos of Dead Osama Bin Laden

Ever since a team of Navy Seals stormed the Pakistani compound housing the former Al-Qaeda leader and delivered Uncle Sam’s long overdue bullet to his face, some have demanded the U.S. government release the photos of Osama Bin Laden’s body.

Some want to see them to confirm Bin Laden is indeed dead to dismay any conspiracy theory nuts who claim the Obama administration faked the raid the same way they faked the President’s birth certificate so he could go back in time and help NASA fake the moon landing and pose as Nikita Khrushchev to start the Cuban Missile Crisis.

The rest of us just want to feel that extra bit of pride knowing one of the world’s evilest, most heartless bastards is dead and in some horrible place where he is one of the 72 virgins for an equally evil demon’s “rec room.” Now it seems either of those feelings may never be put to rest because a federal appeals court became the latest judicial branch to approve the government’s decision to keep the Bin Laden death photos in their classified files, according to NPR.

The lawsuit stems from a Freedom of Information Act request from a conservative watchdog group who asked the CIA to release the photos confirming they had 52 images of the dead terrorist. The court ruled they had the right and authority to withhold the photos from public view because they could “reveal classified intelligence methods” and “trigger violence against American citizens.” I’m guessing they don’t mean paper cuts from handling all those glossy photos or throwing out their elbows while furiously fist pumping and screaming “America! F*ck yeah!”