Prepping Your Child for Surgery

Updated: January 26, 2015

Taking a child in for an operation is never easy, but this guide can help both you and your little one cope with your fears.

Lets hope your little one never needs to have an operation. But should that day come, knowing what to expect can go a long way toward calming her nerves…and yours. Use these tips to help your whole family get through the experience and on to a happy, healthy outcome.

For Babies: Body language is key.

Babies don’t know what you’re saying, but even a newborn can sense tension in your body and will react by becoming more anxious. So with wee ones, how you act is more important than what you say. It’s impossible not to worry, but as best you can, try to focus your energy on soothing your baby instead.

One way to lower your own stress level is to educate yourself on what’s ahead. The American College of Surgeons offers advice from a pediatric surgeon (pdf), that walks you through the day of a child’s operation — from the paperwork you need to fill out to the types of tests your baby may undergo.

For Toddlers: Role-play can really help.

Children under three can’t understand much about surgery, either, so instead of trying to explain in words, play the “hospital game” the week before surgery. This can take some of the fear out of the unfamiliar and help your tot feel more in control (and, maybe, even more cooperative). Some activities to include:

Set up a pre-op playroom: At the hospital, the pre-op playroom is where pint-sized patients hang out until it’s time for surgery. Make a mock pre-op playroom at home with some fun toys, and talk up the real thing. (“There’ll be a TV and video games for you to play with!”) Tell your tot that she’ll be able to bring a special plaything with her on the day.

Here comes the nurse: Pretend to take your child’s temperature, weight, and blood pressure — all things the nurse will do before pediatric surgery.·

Meet the doctor: Use a stuffed animal or puppet to play doctor and ask your child questions. Combine real queries (“Does your tummy hurt?”) with silly ones (“Do you need giggle medicine?”). The day of the procedure, pull out the “doctor” when the surgeon comes in. That friendly face might help calm your cutie if she’s feeling overwhelmed.

Try on the hospital "gown": Dress your child in one of your shirts so she gets the idea that she’ll wear a special kind of pajamas at the hospital. (But tell her the real thing will be more her size.)

Off to the bright room: Use a flashlight or bright desk lamp to give your sweetie an idea of how bright the OR will be. Explain that you’ll stay until she’s asleep (have your toddler close her eyes and pretend to snooze) and you’ll be there when she wakes up (say, “Wake up!” and give your little one a hug). If you can’t go into the OR with her (check with the pediatric unit at the hospital to find out its policy), pretend to be the nurse who will be by her side throughout the operation.

Whenever you play this game, use upbeat words to describe things like the “magic” medicine that’ll help her go to sleep and make her feel better afterward and the “superhero” doctors. And don’t forget to switch roles: Let your toddler be the nurse or doctor while you play the patient.

For Preschoolers: Give facts she can understand.

Preschoolers are curious critters, but too much information won’t do your child any favors when it comes to her operation. Stick with need-to-know facts explained in super simple terms. Keep in mind that your child may understand some of your discussions with the doctor, but she’s also likely to misunderstand a lot — so don’t talk specifics in front of her. Instead, emphasize these four facts:

This should make you feel better. Let your child know that she’s having surgery to fix a problem. Avoid saying “cut open,” “remove,” or other phrases that might scare her. And don’t promise everything will be fine as soon as the procedure is over, since she may have a long recovery or might even need another operation.

This isn't because of anything you've done. Even if your child doesn't say she thinks she’s being punished, young children often feel that they have to go to the hospital because they’ve been bad. Reassure your little one that this is something many people, big and tiny, go through, and it has nothing to do with being naughty.

You won’t feel anything while the doctor does his or her job. Your preschooler may get upset about having to “go to sleep” for the procedure (don’t be surprised if the experience makes bedtime a struggle for a while afterward). It’s probablybetter to describe anesthesia as a magic potion that will give her sweet dreams while the doctor fixes the problem.

I will be there when you wake up. Be sure you’ll be allowed into the recovery room as soon as the procedure is over (again, check with the pediatric unit) so you can be there, as promised, and bring a favorite toy, music, or movie to help soothe your child as she shakes off the anesthesia.

No matter how old your child, the days (and sometimes weeks) following surgery can be traumatic. Your cutie may be clingier and might have difficulty sleeping. Don’t minimize her feelings or tell her not to worry. Instead, just listen and comfort her and do your best to get her back into a normal routine. With time and plenty of TLC, the memory of the operation will fade.