Justin Bieber got arrested (possibly violating his probation)

Justin Bieber got arrested (possibly violating his probation)

Justin Bieber got arrested (possibly violating his probation)

September 2, 2014JEREMY FEIST

This may come as a surprise to you, but Justin Bieber did something stupid today. I know, I’m utterly shocked. My socks have been knocked clean off my feet and have rocketed across the room. What a marvelous break from the norm this has been. Except this time, it happened in Canada, and he got arrested. So actually, this is almost kind of a surprise inasmuch as we all knew he’d be arrested, we just didn’t know when. TMZ reports …

Justin Bieber is in the crosshairs of the L.A. County Probation Dept … because his Canadian arrest just set in motion a chain reaction that could land him behind bars. Law enforcement sources tell us an investigation has been launched to determine if Justin’s arrest for dangerous driving and assault constitutes a violation. We’re told officials will contact law enforcement in Canada to verify the details of the incident. Justin is currently on 2 years probation after pleading to misdemeanor vandalism in the egging case back in July. Cops in Canada say Bieber got into a physical altercation with a paparazzo after his ATV collided with the photog’s minivan. We’re told probation officers have 30 days to notify the court of any alleged violation. The court will then decide if Justin’s probation gets revoked, and if he gets jail time.

Once again, I would like to remind Americans in the audience that while he is Canadian, he is your fault. You were the ones who took one of our nice Canadian boys and turned him into a delusional entitled little shit-sack. However, if you want to return him, I propose a trade: We’ll take back Justin if you take Stephen Harper. He’s all yours. He’s basically a boring version of George W. Bush anyway. Or if you’d like, we can also offer you Nickelback, who once again, is your fault. We can’t actually make anyone up here famous famous. That’s Hollywood’s job. Anyway, the decision is yours.

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JEREMY FEIST

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.