Pathankot. Pakistan Army has today arrested 300 ants, 20 spiders and 1 Geelani for illegally trying to cross the Indo-Pak border near Pathankot. All 321 illegal immigrants have been charged with non-bailable offence of entering Pak borders without a valid Visa. 1 Geelani has additionally been charged with having no passport as well.

These arrests are being seen as a reply to an “arrest” of a Pakistani spy in Pathankot yesterday wherein a pigeon with Pak markings was detained by villagers near Indo-Pak border and was handed over to police.

While 200 ants and 17 spiders have reportedly perished during severe post-arrest interrogations by Pak Army, there is no news on the actual condition of 1 Geelani.

Pakistani soldiers carrying the captured insects (not to be confused with Geelani)

Pakistan army has alleged that there was something written on the bodies of all 321 detainees in English and since the knowledge of English language is pretty low on Pak side of border hence it is clearly an Indian spy exercise. A Pak army insider “Zafar Supari” (name changed) talked to us on conditions of anonymity:

“The kind of English language text which is marked on the bodies of insects, spiders and Geelani has been evaluated by our in-house oxford-graduated expert and he has concluded that the handwriting is definitely Indian. In addition the quality of English which is used in that text is only nearly perfect. A Pakistani Twitter user and a veteran #grammarnazi has been able to find same grammatical mistakes in this text which he generally finds on Twitter statuses of Indian users whenever he loses a debate with them. Isliye hum ye yakeen se keh saktay hain kay India waalay in keeday makodo ko bhej ke hamari jasoosi karwa rahe hain,” Zafar concluded.

Amidst these espionage allegations it is also not clear what exactly was Mr. Geelani doing along with other insects at the border. While Mr. Geelani’s deep desire to cross the border at his own terms has been evident through his recent statements in media, and it is a known fact that his passport application was not upto mark but that still does not explain his actions at the border which led to this arrest.