I’ll be honest — The “Am I Ugly?” article on Forbes.com almost brought me to tears. Watching those tweens/teens staring at the computer screen, asking viewers “Am I pretty?” resonated with my younger, insecure self. How many of us have received those disapproving glances, harsh comments, or experienced rejection all based upon someone’s opinion of our exterior shell? Teen or adult, I’m certain we all would raise our hands.

Let’s move on over to Angelina. According to Bitch Magazine, Jolie’s weight “ignited 3,399 tweets per minute” during last month’s Oscars. Say what? Since when did jokes that Angie needs to “eat a cheeseburger” become acceptable? Are we now the body image police? Please say it isn’t so! I’d argue that we can be both gorgeous and healthy at any size.

Celebrity or not, we all face the same struggle against the underlying beauty standards of our respective cultures. Who defines these standards? The answer: Who really cares! Confidence and self-worth can only come from within. We simply cannot rely upon the opinions of others to define who we are (obviously!).

I recognize this is easier said than done. And I’m certain there are some who have experienced verbal abuse too great to discuss. Please hear me — The opinions of others do not define you. My mother would always say: “Hurting people hurt people”. Those who belittle others are acting out of their own personal pain. It has nothing to do with you.

Thus, here are a few thoughts to chew on in light of this discussion…

Let’s make a pact to encourage. I’m not just talking about commenting on Chictopia outfit posts (although we enjoy spreading the love on here), but choosing to only speak highly of others. Perhaps this starts by not snarking about “so-and-so who’s too (insert comment here)”. Or maybe it’s going out of your way to compliment someone you wouldn’t have otherwise spoken to. I can’t count how many times I’ve chickened out from telling someone that I really admired their style. We just need to get over ourselves! (I’m partially talking to myself here)

Be selfish for a moment. Write down what you love about yourself, your personality, and what makes you unique. Then, have a moment and ponder what you dislike. If it’s something that can be changed (within reason), create realistic goals of how to achieve it. However, if it’s a trait that can’t be changed, go ahead and have a pity party for 5-4-3-2… okay, time’s up! We can’t change everything about ourselves, but we can embrace our uniqueness and learn to love our quirks. You’re an original. Remember that.

Finally, surrounded yourself with great friends. Nothing beats an encouraging friend after a rough day. Be the girlfriend (or boyfriend) you’d want someone to be for you!

Stop snarking and start encouraging. Can I get an amen?

Comments (15)

AMEN. Beauty exists within; there is no standard or scale (literally), no means by which to measure someone's beauty. We are all beautiful in our own unique ways. It is the differences between each individual that signifies our beauty. Embracing oneself, being the best one can be, honoring your true essence...THOSE are beautiful. YOU are beautiful! Thank you!

Fantastic article, amen! When I'm at the gym I see so many women who are beautiful but go to lengths to hide their bodies whilst changing and I feel so sad for them. I've got to the point where I may not be 100% happy with my body but I love it and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I used to be like them and I always chicken out to compliment them when I know it could mean the world, I should start.

What I mean is. The concept of what is 'beautiful' changes. It's not something universal nor is it timeless. In some poor regions being thin would be ugly, because it shows that you're poor. Several years ago suddenly because of some advertisements having shaved armpits was considered a basic for being beautiful, to the point that we even (consider to) shave toes now!

Sometimes we care too much about it. Beauty is not only something physical. On Chictopia people express their sense of style, their taste. And I love seeing sincere smiles, the goofy shots and such. To be very honest, I actually don't know if I like a skinny figure. Sure, it looks 'pretty' but also unhealthy to me and I'm always scared of breaking someone's thin legs.