a
silent salute: The
audience "claps" at Joke Night
during Deaf Awareness week. Click Arts&Life
for a link to story. / Photo by Leah
Lopshire

Today's
word on journalism

December 15, 2008

As
part of my own personal "war
on Christmas" (which a Utah state
senator has offered legislation to
outlaw), the WORD celebrates the season
by going on hiatus until January.
May all out days be merry and bright,
and here’s to a safe, healthy
and saner New Year. HoHoHo!

Empty
Minds: "Of all the people expressing
their mental vacuity, none has a better
excuse for an empty head than the
newspaperman: If he pauses to restock
his brain, he invites onrushing deadlines
to trample him flat. Broadcasting
the contents of empty minds is what
most of us do most of the time, and
nobody more relentlessly than I."

November 10, 2008 | I want to talk about an issue that
is pressing on the minds of the country. When the votes
were tallied up and the new president elect took the
stage, the minds of women across American thought: "what
the heck is Michelle Obama wearing?"

Apparently, dress that does a fabulous impression
of the belly of a back widow spider. The black and red
affair designed by Narciso Rodriguez draws your eye
to the bizarre splash of red on her chest and abdomen.

This dress was bridesmaids ugly, I think it is an
instinct brides have: not wanting to be outshined by
her friends she chooses a dress that is cute but not
quite right. No one should out shine the bride.

To complete her look Michelle chose midget point heels,
which did not help the slimming effect. If your going
to be wearing a dress that is clearly trying to draw
your eye up and down, then the shoes have to be something
that makes your legs look slim and feet small. A shoe
that has a sharp toe with a tiny pointy heel that gives
you the same level of lift as a good pair of sneakers
is the wrong choice.

A higher heel would have made a huge difference.

The last fashion mistake of this political implication
was when Cindy McCain decided to choose a mustard yellow
dress with a collar that would make an Alien Zark Lord
jealous. McCain's dress seemed to draw from both Rosie
Riveter coveralls with the collar of a turn of the century
robber baron.

What should be done? Call Palin and get her stylist's
number. A few weeks ago the story of the little Alaska
governor who came to Washington and got a makeover to
the tune $150,000 with both these women married to millionaires
there is no excuse for looking terrible.

We are not always asking for ball gowns; a pair of
pumps and good looking suit or even a normal dress would
work. Choose outfits that are in a normal color, style
or shape any one of these out of balance can tip the
scale of your outfit from cute to up for discussion.

One example of this is the bright orange pant suit
that Hillary Clinton wore on the night of her concession
speech at the primary she certainly wanted to be noticed
with her burnt orange choice. It was a risky one. Hillary
is no stranger to wearing pant suits. If a major percentage
of our economy were based on these suits Hillary's campaign
would have kept our economy at a nice clip. The normal
cut made this outfit almost passable; the problem the
color with so much of a single, solid color the suit
gave her the look of a skinny pumpkin.

Clothes may not change the person but they certainly
allow us to redirect our aggression and frustration
because it is far easier to criticize a wardrobe than
an issue.

So the balm for the female loser is mocking the dress
that she wore. Just like when I was a debate competitor,
even if I was totally spanked in a debate round I would
soothe my bruised ego by thinking "at least I am cuter
than her."

It doesn't matter that while I am writing this I am
wearing gold cowboy boots, jeans and the very classy
t-shirt with the white collar and sleeves stitched inside.
Very classy.