Since my invitations to the Oscars and the evening’s multiple fancy parties seemed to have gotten lost in the mail, I decided to watch the Oscars with Nana Grab Bags at her house. I took C.J. with me and Nana Grab Bags bought a few crafts for him to do with Pa while we watched the festivities.

From Oscars.com

C.J. was not interested in the crafts; he was interested in the red carpet and the show. It all started when he caught a glimpse of Kristin Chenoweth interviewing people.

“Is that the girl from Dance Moms?” he asked.

“No, it’s not Chloe,” I said laughing.

“Is that a girl or a lady?” he asked dumbfounded.

“It’s a lady.”

“A real lady?”

“Yes, a real lady. She’s older than me,” I said, mostly because I like to point out when people are older than me. It makes me feel full of youth and vigor.

“She’s a little real lady with a little girl voice?” he asked still confused.

“Yeah. You should hear her sing, you would love it.”

“Who’s that?! I want her hair!”

“Jessica Chastain,” I said. Her and C.J. have similar color hair.

“I’m going to grow my hair out like that,” he decided.

“Okay.” This was a different Oscar viewing experience than I was used to. Nana Grab Bags is pretty quiet when we watch together. C.J. is not.

From Oscars.com

There was Jane Fonda is a shocking yellow dress that I didn’t particularly care for.

“Oh, that’s a fun color yellow!” C.J. said. My son has a thing for colors that pop.

Then, along came Quvenzhané Wallis with her puppy purse.

“If I ever went to the night when everybody dresses fancy, I would totally have that purse!” He was now referring to the Oscars as “the night when everybody dresses fancy.” Strange, because I was in sweats.

“Is Uncle Uncle going to be on this show?” he asked out of the blue, stealing kettle corn from my bowl.

“He wishes,” I said with a snort.

“But, it’s by his house. He didn’t get invited?”

“Nope.”

Then, came C.J.’s favorite dress of the night, which really confused me because it wasn’t flashy, showy, sparkly or poufy. C.J.’s favorite dress was the one worn by Jamie Foxx’s daughter, even though (as he commented) “it was a little inappropriate around her belly.”

“Oh. Em. Gee. Mama, that lady is wearing tennis shoes!”

“She made Bradley Cooper, so she can wear whatever shoes she wants,” I said.

From Oscars.com

Then, he saw Halle Berry’s dress and was in shock.

“That dress is totally inappropriate. You can almost see her boobs. That was not a smart choice.” C.J. has been working on making smart choices for more than a year now. According to C.J., Halle Berry’s dress choice was not smart.

“Ohhhhh, now that’s my favorite dress!” he said when he saw Anne Hathaway.

“I like it because it is pink, but I wish her hair was long like yours mama,” he said smiling up at me and stealing my iced tea. If I cut my hair, I’d break his heart.

“Mama, what dress is your favorite?”

“Stacy Keibler’s.”

From Oscars.com

“No, it’s not that fun,” he said shaking his head.

The show eventually started and soon Charlize Theron was dancing across the stage (though my eyes were on Channing Tatum).

“If she’s going to dance like that, she really should be singing,” C.J. said with his right leg crossed over his left and his arms folded.

Seth McFarlane started singing a song about boobs, which elicited giggles from C.J.

Jennifer Aniston appeared on stage in a vivid red dress to present an award.

“Wow, there are a lot of ladies looking sexy tonight!” C.J. exclaimed.

“There sure are,” Nana Grab Bags said in agreeance. I gave them both a look and she just smiled at me and shrugged her shoulders like she couldn’t possibly disagree with him because he was speaking the truth.

Brave won for Best Animated Film, which was disappointing to C.J. because he was voting for Wreck It Ralph. Then, he saw Director Mark Andrews get up from his seat to accept the Oscar. Andrews was wearing a kilt.

“Look at his skirt! Look at his skirt!” he pointed bouncing up and down on the couch.

“Wow. That’s a nice skirt!” I admired.

“Is he gender nonconforming?”

“I don’t know, but I like his style.” I said.

“Me too, I think he looks the prettiest. When I get invited to the night when everybody dresses fancy I’m gonna wear that man’s skirt and that little girl’s dog purse. And, have red hair like that one lady.”

There, it’s all settled; C.J. has selected his Oscar outfit. Now he just needs an invite.

Awwww they should get CJ to comment on the Oscars! It would be much more interesting.
Although I wouldve thought of all people, a gender-nonconforming kid would be less judgey about clothes being ‘inappropriate’. Oh well. He’ll probably grow out of it.
Props to him for appreciating the fabulous puppy purse, though.

C.J. has the most honest voice. Beautiful. Though I must say… I’m pretty impressed with the woman in tennis shoes. Don’t know who made Bradley Cooper, so don’t know who she is, but I dig a woman in practical shoes 🙂

I didn’t know that was Jamie Fox’s daughter! But I agree with CJ. Hers was easily my favourite dress of the night. So pretty.
CJ is all kinds of awesome. And that kind of awesome is never an accident. That’s some amazing parenting.

Maybe for next year you can let the Academy Awards people read this blog page now, and then they will invite your family so he can do live commentary and be the fashion police! BTW way, if you are interested in kilts, go to this family friendly forum: http://www.xmarksthescot.com/ They do make kilts for younger people!

i love your blog! i agree with the commenter that said CJ should live blog the Oscars next year, or maybe tweet it. i used to work for wolfstone kilt company and they make Kilts for little kids all the time. the wool is pricey but if you really are interested all you would have to do is send his waist measurment and they can make one in any plaid you like. http://www.potomacleather.com/Wolfstone.htm

I think it would be totally appropriate for CJ to get his own kilt. I love mine and wear it whenever I get the chance. Mine is camo and don’t think CJ would really care for that style. The one the guy wore on the Oscars was a real British kilt and CJ would love the material and the air conditioning.

I made my son his first kilt when he was about 11 years old. In our circle of friends, you never know who will be wearing what – kilts, skirts and pants are worn by any gender. Whatever sounds comfortable that day. Straight, GLBT, gender-creative…we just wear what we like and no one says anything except “Oh, where did you find that, and are there any more?” I wish you lived up here in Oregon – your family would fit right in!

Just to clarify – Kilts are from Scotland not from England so they are Scottish and not British. Brave took place in Scotland and the director was a Scotsman. Scotland is one of the four countries (England, Wales and Norther Ireland are the other three) that make up the United Kingdom. Kilts are not unknown in the rest of the United Kingdom, however. Queen Victoria liked for her young sons to wear them. Just in case C.J. gets one in the future (I think he would love it) it’s important for him to know that Scotsmen wear them proudly.

It may sound funny, but my family origin are Scottish. I’m very knowledgeable of the difference in the UK, Great Britain, and the Commonwealth. All the men I know personally just happen to be from England. They wear their kilts often. And Brave…never seen it. Wasn’t planning on it. Thanks tho!

For the ummteenth time, when your family story is turned into a feature film, or a long running TV series, C. J. will get his red carpet moment. I just hope the Emmys aren’t a let down for him. Why doesn’t Uncle Uncle get him a plastic Oscar from Hollywood Blvd. so he can have red carpet dress up fun and practice his acceptance speech.