Thursday, January 10, 2013

A WOMAN’S WIT AND PRUDENCE by Lablynn Yvette F. Bautista

A major paper submitted to Dr. Leonora Fajutagana of
University of the Philippines Los Banos
in partial fulfilment of the requirements for
COMA 201: Critical Approaches to Communication Studies

Los Banos, Laguna
October 19, 2012

I. ABSTRACT

This paper examines how a Filipina woman used her wit and prudence in freeing herself through writing. Bebang Siy’s book “It’s a mens world” is a collection of 20 essays, it tackles the life of an ordinary Filipina with Chinese ancestry, from her childhood memories to womanhood and more things. Through this book, I will analyze the writing style of the author, the political feminism in the book focusing on the five foci of woman’s writing and the essence of the book in our lives as a Filipina in a feminist view. The Reader Oriented Approach can also be seen in my analysis.

II. THE AUTHOR AND THE BOOK

A. Brief Introduction of the Author

Beverly Wico Siy a.k.a Bebang Siy was born on December 10, 1979 in Quirino, Manila. Her parents are Roberto Siy and Resurreccion Wico. She is the eldest of five daughters. Her father was Chinese and died from a heart attack when she was 15. Her mother is a Filipina.

She took up BA Malikhaing Pagsulat (Creative Writing) in the University of the Philippines Diliman. She graduated cum laude in 2002. She immediately signed up for MA Filipino, major in Literature. Bebang became the youngest member of UMPIL or Unyon ng mga Manunulat sa Pilipinas' Board of Directors in 2004-2010. She also served as the president of Linangan sa Imahen, Retorika at Anyo (LIRA) in 2007-2009. LIRA is the premiere and the oldest organization of Filipino poets who write primarily in the national language. She is a single mom to her son, Sean Elijah—“EJ” for short. She is the Executive Officer for Membership and Documentation of Filipinas Copyright Licensing Society (FILCOLS), an organization of authors and publishers that helps fight for the economic rights of copyright holders.

B. The Title of the Book: “It’s a mens world”

At first, one may think that the title is just a typographical or grammatical error but it’s not. The book portrayed a girl-woman’s experience of the world as her title would indicate. Some see it as a play on both the idea of males and the colloquial term for menstruation—mens. When I read the back of the book, I also share the same impression, that it evolves on the memories of the author during her first menstruation and at the same time maybe it’s a sarcastic way too of telling that our world is not really and only for men but for women also. I thought that the book of course is focused on how a girl, a lady, a woman lives in a world dominantly controlled by men. Lastly, I would like to believe that this book is another proof that the world could evolve in things that concerns only to us, woman.

On the other hand, I was privileged to ask the author on how did she come up on the title of this book and this is her answer:

She’s often been compared to the popular pseudonymous best-selling phenomenon Bob Ong—but with ovaries. It’s a mens world has done well and its author is now sought after as a speaker, thanks to her offbeat humor and sparkling repartee. (De Vera, PDI 2012).

Like Bob Ong, Bebang Siy’s book is fun and easy to read but it will make you think of the underlying message of each sentence in her book. I believe, as an old fan of Bob Ong and a new fan of Bebang Siy, it is their conversational writing that hooked the public to read their books and appreciate its contents. The humor, prudence and the sarcasm in the way they write is like a pinched to us to see the message of reality that their books are shouting.

Reading this book is like talking to an old friend, looking in your own
photo album (memories), and seeing yourself through the author in one way or another. Everyone can relate to this book, not only women but also men. As Bebang Siy puts it:

“Maybe it’s because a big part of what makes Bob Ong funny is the language and the tone. I think that it’s the same thing that charmed my audience, the language, the tone and my being a woman, my sexuality. Walang babaeng ganito kabalahura (there’s isn’t another woman so outrageous). Sobrang candid siya at nasa wikang Filipino.”

Since Filipinos are very humorous, it’s not surprising why we appreciate authors like Bebang Siy and Bong Ong, the good thing is that their books are not only funny, their theme and message are also very inspiring and eye-opening.

III. THE POLITICAL FEMISM IN THE BOOK

A. Biological: The Woman’s Body

It is said that women’s bodies are their destiny. Meaning if we try to defy sexual roles, then we have to defy natural order. In this first essay, this belief is greatly shown in the following sentences:

In Philippines culture, when a girl has her menstruation already, she is no longer allowed to climb up trees or play with boys. Pagdadalaga (the transition to womanhood) brings in new meaning to every interaction. Here, we can see the impact of the changes that is happening on a woman’s body in her role to our society.
When I also have my first menstruation, I heard the same advice from the people around me. It can even be stressful and depressing if you’re not yet ready. Expectations are already set for you to follow. It was a big transition, from being a girl who can play and do anything freely to being a lady who is expected to meet the norms of the society. A lady or a woman should be prim and proper in her words and actions, even in our modern times today we are still expected to be more careful in our words and actions than men.
When you did the opposite (e.g. childish, talkative, flirt etc.), you can be
misunderstood. Indeed, being a lady entails a great responsibility.

B. Females Life Experience

Females’ life experience (ovulation, menstruation and then giving birth) influence their writing. This can be seen on the essay entitled “Ang Piso”.

By this time, the author is already a mother; she is very particular to the dishonesty of the bus driver and conductor regarding the fare since she is already a mother (a single mother that is living and providing their needs on her own). She is also very detailed in writing about their safety.

When I asked the author, how does being a mother and having a son affect her writing, this is her answer:

According to this belief, women have been oppressed by male dominated language. Men’s definition of discourse has trapped women inside a male definition of female. It is natural for women to defy a male dominated language than just to adhere to feminine style of writing. This can be seen on the essay entitled “Milk Shakes and Daddies”.

The first paragraph showed a complaint of the father about her wife to his child. Before, since the man is the one who primarily gives money, it is the wife who acts as the treasurer in the home. Even today, I believe even if the wife is already working, she is still the one who budgets all the expenses of the whole family. For me, the author was able to give justice to a scene that is normally happening in a Filipino household (especially to the poor family). How sad it could be for a plain housewife who did her best to budget the money their husband gives them and still being questioned on where did they spent it. If the husband is the only one working, the words can be worse, since it could mean that he has the right to question his wife.

The second paragraph indicates the author’s complain on his father’s routine speech about her mother.

On the third paragraph, we can see the misinterpretation a man’s words can make. It was shown how the father of the author has misunderstood or exaggerates her mother’s appearance. In the third sentence highlighted, there is a generalization about the men’s understanding on women who have long hair and its purpose.

The fourth paragraph shows the impact of her father’s opinion in the author. Today, we Filipinas still struggle against common problems such as machismo, patriarchy, sexism and sexual discrimination. Overall, the writing style of the author in this book cannot be classified as feminine; she is very honest, open and straight forward in telling her childhood experiences towards the reader. She is not even scared on saying the exact words her father used to describe her mother. Each word showed the reality, that these scenes really exist and that the words were really uttered not only by his father but by others as well. In the exact manner it was said by his father, she was able to communicate the underlying message to her readers. The parents’ opinion to each other greatly affects their child.

When I ask the author if she considered her writing as a feminine style, this is her answer:

Whatever encourages a free play of meaning and prevents “closure” is regarded as female. Let us analyze the following lines below excerpted in the essay entitled “Sa ganitong paraan daw namatay si Kuya Dims”.

In the first paragraph, there is a play of meaning in the highlighted words. They are used figuratively. The last sentence above has the said “closure”; the reader was given a hint that there is a deeper story behind this sentence. The author has a big reason why she felt happiness in the death of this “Kuya Dims”. The follow up story is the author’s narration about her “sexual harassment/molestation”. In the end the author was able to free herself through writing; it is shown in the following lines:

I think most of the readers admired the author the most in this essay. As a woman, it is not easy to disclose this kind of topic. This is a very sensitive issue that even today, many are still afraid to tell anyone (police authorities, families, and friends) that they experience this kind of situation or even worse. It is very humiliating that sometimes even the victims themselves stay in denial.

In a Catholic country like us, even if we are already in the modern times, the purity of a woman is still very important especially for those who still believe and follow conservative principles.

E. Social and Economic Conditions

Male and female write differently not because they are psychologically different but because they have different environments that influence their writing. This is shown in the essay entitled “Shopping”.

The paragraphs above showed the social and economic condition of the author. It can also be observed how detailed and descriptive the author is. If it’s a male writer, maybe we can expect a less detailed narration of the scene. Another possibility is that if other writers didn’t experience this personally and they do not give such importance to the description of the paper, the author can just use simple adjectives (old, new, expensive, cheap) instead of the highlighted word above. Indeed, the author wanted to emphasize their situation.

In the second paragraph, I think the author and her mother just ignore the saleslady since they will not buy the Hello Kitty eraser. If they gave a response to the rude attitude of the saleslady, I think the author will mention it in the story but since she ended it like that, I came with the conclusion that they just ignored the rude saleslady and left.

However, I believe the author wanted to help the readers realize how blessed they are if they didn’t experience such situation. As for me, I just did.

IV. WIT AND PRUDENCE: A WOMAN’S ARMOUR IN WRITING

Overall, this book shows how Bebang Siy was able to use her wit and prudence as her armour in freeing herself through writing. Away from the boundaries our society and norms sets, she was able to communicate the underlying messages of each word to her readers in a humorous way. In this book, she was able represent the modern day Filipina who is fearless, a fighter and feminist at heart.

In her essay entitled “First Date”, she was able to use her wit with sarcasm and criticism as basis of humor to give practical advices for any Filipina on their first date.

She was able to show the reality of practical dating. She was able to express the woman’s anxiety on the payment issue. In the old days, the man is the one required to pay for all the expenses in their dates but today woman without embarrassing the man can also pay for herself. Woman today are more capable and practical and not only the man.

The paragraph above uses criticism as basis of humor, however the main message is to be careful to guys like Ginoong Gasul (the authors previous date who eventually became her boyfriend but cheated on her, described by the author as unanong tabatsoy).

This line is very interesting for me. This is a very important reminder for women on their first date. To choose a familiar place is to ensure your safety. We should know how to take care of ourselves.

Lastly, in her essay entitled “Asintada”, she gave a very inspirational
advice to her readers:

As a woman, we all want to prove something to all the people around us but we must think carefully before making any decision especially if it’s a life changing one.

It’s good to laugh while reading, but when we were able to think and realize the deeper message of it, then the author succeed on her goal. In the end, I can only say that I really enjoy reading this book as a girl in heart and a Filipino woman. In this bloody world, we can heal all wounds through the grace of God and love from the people around us.