“Mary, as you call her, is a bigoted, blinkered, cantankerous, devious, unforgiving, self-serving, rank, rude, car-mad cow, which is to say nothing of her flying feces and her ability to extrude from her withered buttocks turds of such force, that they land a yard from the back of the van and their presumed point of exit.”Alex Jennings - Alan Bennett

- McBainbridge: I'm giving you two weeks to get things moving or you're history.- Ricky: Wait a second. First of all, two weeks? You gotta give me a little more time than that.- McBainbridge: Hold it! Hold it right there! Right there. Every day on the way to work, I pass a dozen guys carrying signs: "Homeless family will work for food"... (continue)(continue reading)Robert Loggia - McBainbridge
Jeff Goldblum - Ricky

“- Rufus: Sorry, you can't park here.- Miss Shepherd: No, I've had guidance. This is where it should go.- Rufus: Guidance? Who from?- Miss Shepherd: The Virgin Mary. I spoke to her yesterday. She was outside the post office.- Rufus: What does she know about parking?”Roger Allam - Rufus
Maggie Smith - Miss Shepherd

“- Lu Yan: Innkeeper, more wine!- Jason Tripitikas: Jeez, Don't you think you've had one too many?- Lu Yan: Wine is mine inspiration. In some parts, I'm known as the poet [cheers] in other parts, I am known as the beggar.[when the innkeeper brings the bill, he passes it over to Jason Tripitikas]”Jackie Chan - Lu Yan
Michael Angarano - Jason Tripitikas