15 Blasphemous Movie Reboots We Hope Never Get Made

Not every series needs a reboot -- but don't tell that to Hollywood, where filmmakers seem to be scrambling to remake any classic movie to which they can get the rights.

With the reboot of 'Predators' upon us, Moviefone's staff wondered what other classic films Hollywood is planning on recasting and remaking -- for the worse.

Though it pained us to do so, we came up with a few particularly blasphemous movie reboot ideas (amid cries of anguish at each hypothetical suggestion). We hope these ideas are never made, and instead stand as a testament to the fact that some classic films definitely don't need to be rebooted.

Not every series needs a reboot -- but don't tell that to Hollywood, where filmmakers seem to be scrambling to remake any classic movie to which they can get the rights.

With the reboot of 'Predators' upon us, Moviefone's staff wondered what other classic films Hollywood is planning on recasting and remaking -- for the worse.

Though it pained us to do so, we came up with a few particularly blasphemous movie reboot ideas (amid cries of anguish at each hypothetical suggestion). We hope these ideas are never made, and instead stand as a testament to the fact that some classic films definitely don't need to be rebooted.

'Star Wars'Starring:Justin Bieber as Luke Skywalker, Miley Cyrus as Princess Leia, Shia LaBeouf as Han Solo, Ozzy Osbourne as the Emperor, Morgan Freeman as Darth VaderHow It'd Be Ruined: One could argue that the prequels are a reboot for the classic space trilogy, but we had a complete do-over in mind when we created the potential worst cast ever, consisting of teen pop music sensations Justin Bieber as Luke Skywalker and Miley Cyrus as Princess Leia Organa. Hey, it could happen; rebooting movies about space seems popular since 'Star Trek' did well last summer. Seeing anyone remake these films would make us sick, but the casting of Bieber and Cyrus in the roles would definitely have us storm(troop)ing George Lucas' ranch. Throw in Harrison Ford protege Shia LaBeouf as Han Solo, Morgan Freeman as the voice of Darth Vader and an incoherent Ozzy Osbourne as the Emperor and you've got a blasphemous 'Star Wars' reboot that could make a Wookie cry.'The Breakfast Club'Starring:Zac Efron as the Jock, Leighton Meester as the Princess, Michael Cera as the Brain, Channing Tatum as the Criminal, Kristen Stewart as the Basket CaseHow It'd Be Ruined: Carrying on the tween trend, we're actually pretty surprised that no one has tried to remake the John Hughes classic high school tale, 'The Breakfast Club.' With the popularity of the 'High School Musical' franchise, it seems a given that Hollywood would cast Zac Efron as Emilio Estevez's jock character Andrew. Banking on her popularity playing a rich, ice queen on 'Gossip Girl,'Leighton Meester would take over Molly Ringwald's princess-y Claire and be the most typecast in her role (though a dye job would be in order). Ubiquitous nerd Michael Cera could one-note his way through Anthony Michael Hall's geeky Brian and Channing Tatum would spectacularly fail to capture Judd Nelson's nuanced and troubled Bender. The best casting decision in the whole hypothetical movie would be Kristen Stewart as Ally Sheedy's weird and dark Allison ... but she'd probably just be playing herself, wouldn't she?'Back to the Future'Starring:Chace Crawford as Marty McFly, Nicolas Cage as Doc BrownHow It'd Be Ruined: Keeping with the '80s movie theme, one reboot we at Moviefone decided we'd be particularly upset about would be 'Back to the Future.' There's no one who could ever play Marty McFly better than Michael J. Fox did, but we think if Hollywood got its grubby paws back on it, they'd cast pretty-boy Chace Crawford in the iconic role. And banking on his upcoming resurgence in 'The Sorcerer's Apprentice,' it's not unlikely that Nicolas Cage would be cast as the eccentric Doc Brown. Can you imagine what they'd have to do his hair? 'Revenge of the Nerds'
Starring:Jay Baruchel as Lewis, Christopher Mintz-Plasse as Gilbert, Jonah Hill as BoogerHow It'd Be Ruined: This is another one we're surprised hasn't been optioned yet. 'Revenge of the Nerds' seems like it'd be right up Hollywood's alley to remake as even more of a sex farce comedy. Two of the movie world's most iconic "nerds," Jonah Hill and Christopher Mintz-Plasse, co-starred together already in another successful film, 'Superbad,' so it's not a stretch to bring them both back for a reboot of the classic geek-victory story. Hill could play gross nerd "Booger," Mintz-Plasse would be cast as bespectacled Gilbert and Jay Baruchel as Robert Carradine's character Lewis. Plus, slap on director Paul Weitz, who did the original 'American Pie' film, and you've got something for all the college boys to enjoy. Judd Apatow's 'Caddyshack'
Starring: Dax Shepard as Ty Webb, Justin Long as Danny, Paul Rudd as Spackler, Will Ferrell as Al, Elizabeth Banks as LaceyHow It'd Be Ruined: The unmemorable Dax Shepard would take over the Chevy Chase role of Ty Webb. We'd hope Chase would vouch for 'Community' co-star Joel McHale, who is the only person that would be awesome in the role (but this is about bad remakes). "Mac commercial guy" Justin Long would be the young caddy Danny Noonan. Imagine Will Ferrell in Rodney Dangerfield's role (a lock considering his proclivity towards sports comedies), and you've got a remake ready to be absolutely subpar to the original. Elizabeth Banks is a natural Lacey, and rounding out the cast would be Paul Rudd as Bill Murray's crazy gopher-hunting Carl Spackler. (Though Rudd's casting, we could actually get down with.) 'Aliens'Starring: Jessica Biel as Ripley, Zooey Deschanel as Annalee CallHow It'd Be Ruined: Since Hollywood decided to reboot the 'Predators' series this summer, why not a new series of 'Aliens' films to complement it? Cast the super-athletic Jessica Biel as Sigourney Weaver's Ripley. The movie can be directed by Rob Zombie to give it the true horror touch. If the film takes off, Winona Ryder's character in 'Alien Resurrection' should be played by pale, big-eyed Zooey Deschanel, who, like Ryder, has no place in an action-horror movie. 'Casablanca'Starring:Katherine Heigl as Ilsa, Bradley Cooper as RickHow It'd Be Ruined: Move the setting of the movie to the Casablanca Casino and Hotel in Las Vegas and cast romantic comedy staple Katherine Heigl and 'The Hangover' hottie Bradley Cooper as the leads. Cooper already shot 'The Hangover' in Vegas, and Heigl is the reigning queen of the rom-com. The script would be rewritten as a bumbling action romantic comedy with Heigl playing Cooper's ex-lover, a high-strung woman who's trying to fight terrorists. The movie reboot would be so bad it'd have Ingrid Bergman and Humphrey Bogart spinning in their graves. 'Annie Hall'Starring:Zach Braff as Alvie, Ellen Page as Annie HallHow It'd Be Ruined: First of all, remaking any Woody Allen film would just be blasphemous, but a reboot of the iconic 'Annie Hall' would be the height of insanity. Nevertheless, Hollywood would probably love to get its hands on this quirky and original romantic comedy. They'd spin it into an indie vomit-fest under the hand of 'Garden State' director Zach Braff, who would naturally cast himself in Allen's role. We can hear the whiny soundtrack already. Filling in Diane Keaton's part as the titular Annie would be indie tomboy dreamgirl Ellen Page. Can't you just picture her in the vest and tie? Total sacrilege. 'Pretty Woman'Starring: Megan Fox as Vivian, Patrick Dempsey as EdwardHow It'd Be Ruined: Hollywood insists on trying to make Patrick Dempsey happen anywhere other than as "McDreamy" on 'Grey's Anatomy,' but we remain dubious. However, they'd definitely try to get him to fill Richard Gere's role in a 'Pretty Woman' remake. And who better to play opposite Dempsey in this surefire disaster than a trashy-but-then-classy Megan Fox in Julia Roberts' role? We'd certainly buy Fox playing another hooker like her character in 'Jonah Hex,' but this reboot would definitely lack the natural charm of the original. Disney's 'West Side Story'Starring:Selena Gomez as Maria, Nick Jonas as Tony, Demi Lovato as Anita, Corbin Bleu as Bernardo, Joe Jonas as RiffHow It'd Be Ruined: Miley can't be the only Disney star to ruin a reboot on this list. Truthfully, we're surprised Disney hasn't grabbed the reigns on this Romeo-and-Juliet-inspired tale of teenage love gone wrong. The company has the "perfect" Hispanic Maria, who actually has a singing career, in Selena Gomez -- and the "perfect" behind-the-scenes controversy in casting her ex-boyfriend Nick Jonas, who just completed a run in 'Les Miserables' in London, as Tony. Throw in Gomez's friend Demi Lovato as Anita, 'High School Musical' dancer Corbin Bleu as Bernardo and Nick's real-life brother Joe Jonas as Riff, and you've got yourself an instant musical franchise. 'Rebel Without a Cause'
Starring: Robert Pattinson as Jim, Kristen Stewart as Judy, Taylor Lautner as PlatoHow It'd Be Ruined: Not to be outdone in the Natalie Wood category, Summit Entertainment would have to purchase the rights to the James Dean classic 'Rebel Without A Cause' and cast the company's golden bad boy Robert Pattinson as the brooding Jim Stark. In fact, a remake would be a great way to keep the cash cows together after the end of the 'Twilight' saga by casting Taylor Lautner as Sal Mineo's character Plato and Kristen Stewart as Wood's Judy. Think the pre-tween Twi-hards would appreciate the nuanced teen drama? Probably not. But a remake might be worth it just to watch Pattinson and Lautner struggle with the film's subtle homoeroticism. 'Home Alone'Starring:Jaden Smith as Kevin McAllister, Seth Rogen, Dane CookHow It'd Be Ruined:Jaden Smith is a hot ticket right now after starring in the remake of 'The Karate Kid,' so why not cast him in another rebooted franchise? Smith could play Macaulay Culkin's role of the mischievous Kevin McAllister, which is an idea we're sure some Hollywood exec is already salivating over. Cast some comedian-types like Dane Cook and Seth Rogen as the bumbling thieves and you've got a marketable film. Sure, Smith is cute and it sounds fun enough, but does the classic franchise really need a reboot? If the amount of times we watch the originals every holiday season is any indication, the answer is definitely not. 'The Three Stooges'Starring:Eddie Murphy as Larry, Eddie Murphy as Moe, Eddie Murphy as CurlyHow It'd Be Ruined: This one hardly needs further explanation, but we'll give it a shot anyway. Eddie Murphy plays all of the Stooges -- Larry, Moe and Curly -- using the same technology that allowed him to play his entire family in 'The Nutty Professor.' It'd be another starring vehicle for Murphy that would inevitably flop. Not that we wouldn't love to watch two hours of Murphy hitting himself over the head and making silly noises. Why do they keep making these, again? Oh, yeah. To ruin lives and childhoods. 'Jaws'Starring:Ryan Reynolds as Capt. Martin BrodyHow It'd Be Ruined: Basically, Ryan Reynolds starring in the reboot wouldn't even be the worst part about it. Like a remake of the 'Star Wars' films, redoing a Steven Spielberg classic seems blasphemous on its own. Now imagine one directed by 'Watchmen'-ruiner Zack Snyderand cringe all over again. The original 'Jaws' got all its suspense and terror from the subtlety of the enemy. With Snyder at the helm, a new 'Jaws' would include CGI sharks, gratuitous gore and massive explosions as far as the eye can see. I think we're going to need a bigger barf bag. 'Glee' presents: 'The Goonies'Starring:Cory Montieth, Lea Michele, Chris Colfer, Kevin McHale, Mark Salling, Jenna Ushkowitz, Jane Lynch, Matthew MorrisonHow It'd Be Ruined: This is possibly the most blasphemous thing we've ever come up with, so strap yourselves in: remaking 'The Goonies' as a musical called 'The Glee-nies,' about a group of Glee club members who go on a treasure hunt to save their local theater from closing down. Cast Chris Colfer as the young Mikey, Cory Montieth as older brother Brandon, Lea Michele as cutie Andrea, Kevin McHale as Corey Feldman's "Mouth" and Mark Salling as "Chunk" -- but instead of him being overweight and doing the "Truffle Shuffle," the nickname becomes ironic because of his washboard abs. They'd also have to make Data a female and cast Jenna Ushkowitz. The best casting decisions would be Jane Lynch as the terrifying Mama Fratelli and Matthew Morrison as her deformed son "Sloth" Fratelli (I know, it's mean, but whatever). Singing would be a must because the club heard that caves have great acoustics. (Just kill us now.)

Which classic movies or franchises would you hate to see redone? Tell us in the comments.