Fourth and sacrifice

John Steele: < in a hospital bed > Let me up. I have to play.Penny: John, no. You have a broken arm and you’ve just woken up from a coma. You have brain damage! It’s over!John Steele: What inning is it?Penny: 3rd quarter, you’re down by a conversionJohn Steele: Get me my goddamn tennis racket

The longest Decembers of our romance

Lord Fauntain: It’s over Dee. It’s always been over.Dee: I believed in you, Lord Fauntain.Lord Fauntain: The Americans believe in a freedom we British don’t. We can’t win this war. We… we never couldDee: And what of the Canadians?Lord Fauntain: … who?

Psychic nightmare

Steve: Ahh!Shakes: Steve! Wake up! You made it! You defeated the monster.Steve: I barely made it.Shakes: Is it over?Steve: I think it is. Shakes. I think it’s over.Shakes: I guess we won’t be needing this chainsaw anymore.Steve: Won’t we? <eyes glow red>Shakes: STEVE!! NO!!!

The View of the Damned

Bobby is sitting in his car in front of a railroad crossing, waiting for the gates to raise. The guy behind him gets out of the car and knocks on the window.

Bobby: Yes?Welland: Hey Boy. You wanna faght?Bobby: What?Welland: Do you wanna faght while this train goes by?Bobby: Are you saying “fight”? Well.. no. No sir, I don’t want to fight.Welland: Them’s faghten’ words! Lemme jist take off ma faghtin jickit!Bobby: Umm.. if you took off your “fighting jacket” wouldn’t that mean you can’t fight?Welland: You college boys crack me up! Anyone who can take that many knucks to the face is alraght in ma books!Bobby: To be fair, I never actually took any “knucks” to the face.Welland: You’re okay fly-boy. Anytime you need a kick to the nuts, jist gimme a call. Here’s my number!
Bobby: Thanks?