SEEKING FEEDBACK: Women's-only section?

I think a Women's Only section involves tradeoffs that are both good and bad.

The Good
Women would have a place where they can write freely knowing that 1) they aren't triggering men and 2) aren't drawing unwanted attention to themselves by discussing sexual issues. I've heard several stories where women on NoFap suddenly get DM'd by guys "wanting to be accountability partners" (sure, right, yeah). I see the value in having a place like this.

The Bad
The main downfall, I believe, involves the exchange of testimonies between addicts and particularly SOs who are in the "partner support" section. If "partner support" became a women's only section, then addicts wouldn't get the helpful perspective of SOs, and SOs wouldn't get the perspective of other addicts, especially addicts who have a good amount of sobriety under their belts, or are much further along and can provide info from their own experiences.

I've made a couple of great friends here on NoFap who are female SOs. We're all here looking for help and support, and we've found our mutual experiences both enlightening and encouraging. I'd hate to see future users miss out on those possibilities.

However, obviously I see the value in protecting the women who visit these forums. No matter what you guys choose to do--set up a Women's Only site, or don't set one up--with either decision, something is gained and something is lost.

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I think there should be an option, but that it shouldn't be the only option. So if a woman has something particularly triggering or private they want to talk about, or if that person is just really shy or uncomfortable with men, they can go to the private women-only section. But I think in any other normal situation, men should be allowed to participate in conversation as well.

Should it be hidden to male users, or should men be able to read and not post?

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Honestly I just joined today and the first thing that came to mind is to look for a "females" section. I think there should be a system set up to where the OP chooses whether or not the post is private to males not to hide things maliciously but to 1) Give girls the comfort of knowing some posts are female only and 2) Considering how easily a guy can be triggered by the idea of girls discussing sex, it might be beneficial for the boys to block them off from certain topics.

Honestly I just joined today and the first thing that came to mind is to look for a "females" section. I think there should be a system set up to where the OP chooses whether or not the post is private to males not to hide things maliciously but to 1) Give girls the comfort of knowing some posts are female only and 2) Considering how easily a guy can be triggered by the idea of girls discussing sex, it might be beneficial for the boys to block them off from certain topics.

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But how do u stop the man from accessing female only section? Do you know how easy it is to open another account pretending you are a woman? This idea is not new. Spying is as old profession as prostitution... and the more prohibited fruit it is, the more tempting it is for some.

Becides: you can’t be blaming woman talking about their sexuality for your addiction. It is like saying I am addicted because porn exists. But don’t forget that you are the one making choices to watch porn and read the female section. Make different choices and you will not have any issue with all the sex stuff being out there in the open.

But how do u stop the man from accessing female only section? Do you know how easy it is to open another account pretending you are a woman? This idea is not new. Spying is as old profession as prostitution... and the more prohibited fruit it is, the more tempting it is for some.

Becides: you can’t be blaming woman talking about their sexuality for your addiction. It is like saying I am addicted because porn exists. But don’t forget that you are the one making choices to watch porn and read the female section. Make different choices and you will not have any issue with all the sex stuff being out there in the open.

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Well I'm a female so I'm not blaming women for anything. Lol. But there's a difference between making something private so a man doesn't accidentally stumble upon it so we know we didn't cause anyone to stumble and making something private only to have a man actively create an account to search through female forums, that's on him at that point. It's not even "forbidden" as if we would post nudes or anything it would just be comfortable for ladies to share and express thoughts among the same sex, if a man really feels the need to create a fake account then maybe he needs to reevaluate himself. If he takes it to that extent I'm sure he's searching for worse things than a forum about ladies struggling with issues.
All I'm saying is the last thing we need as ladies is to serve as a stumbling block instead of doing our best to prevent any of our fellow male fapstronauts from messing up.
I think most of the men here are mature enough and respectful enough to understand when something is blocked it's probably in their best interest.

Well I'm a female so I'm not blaming women for anything. Lol. But there's a difference between making something private so a man doesn't accidentally stumble upon it so we know we didn't cause anyone to stumble and making something private only to have a man actively create an account to search through female forums, that's on him at that point. It's not even "forbidden" as if we would post nudes or anything it would just be comfortable for ladies to share and express thoughts among the same sex, if a man really feels the need to create a fake account then maybe he needs to reevaluate himself. If he takes it to that extent I'm sure he's searching for worse things than a forum about ladies struggling with issues.
All I'm saying is the last thing we need as ladies is to serve as a stumbling block instead of doing our best to prevent any of our fellow male fapstronauts from messing up.
I think most of the men here are mature enough and respectful enough to understand when something is blocked it's probably in their best interest.

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U are a woman? A man can not accidentally stumble across on something on our forum. He needs to purposely go there and read our posts. They are adults and they know how to use the web very well so accidents like this don’t happen. This webside is not like a porn pop up window that opens on its own.

Learning to limit their exposure and learning to make choices limiting their exposure is part of recovery and with so many billboards or bikini advert around I would not worry about them purposely reading our posts to find little bit of excitement. Real life gives them way more triggers than us here.

U are a woman? A man can not accidentally stumble across on something on our forum. He needs to purposely go there and read our posts. They are adults and they know how to use the web very well so accidents like this don’t happen. This webside is not like a porn pop up window that opens on its own.

Learning to limit their exposure and learning to make choices limiting their exposure is part of recovery and with so many billboards or bikini advert around I would not worry about them purposely reading our posts to find little bit of excitement. Real life gives them way more triggers than us here.

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That's what I just said?
I think you may not have understood the original post.
I suggested there be an option for public and private female posts. Public posts should be accessible to the entire community wheras private posts may contain some coversations that can trigger our male users.
Yes men should know better than to look for something that wont help them but not everyone has that strength yet, so why be their downfall when we could be a help instead?

That's what I just said?
I think you may not have understood the original post.
I suggested there be an option for public and private female posts. Public posts should be accessible to the entire community wheras private posts may contain some coversations that can trigger our male users.
Yes men should know better than to look for something that wont help them but not everyone has that strength yet, so why be their downfall when we could be a help instead?

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Maybe I miss read you then. 2 forums: one open and one closed seems like a good idea, but then it would also make sense that man get the same: open and closed forum. The only issue with that is: it is impossible to know what triggers whom. You could be writing a harmless post about ur hair or nails and trigger someone with hair fetish. I was told off few times for my post being triggering, yet when I looked at my writing I simply had no clue what was triggering in it.

But open and closed forum for both sexes is truly a brilliant idea that would keep everybody happy as people would be free to choose where they want to place their posts.

I think there should be a system set up to where the OP chooses whether or not the post is private to males not to hide things maliciously but to 1) Give girls the comfort of knowing some posts are female only and 2) Considering how easily a guy can be triggered by the idea of girls discussing sex, it might be beneficial for the boys to block them off from certain topics.

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I think there should be a system set up to where the OP chooses whether or not the post is private to females not to hide things maliciously but to 1) Give boys the comfort of knowing some posts are male only and 2) Considering how easily a girl can be triggered by the idea of boys discussing sex, it might be beneficial for the girls to block them off from certain topics.

I think there should be a system set up to where the OP chooses whether or not the post is private to females not to hide things maliciously but to 1) Give boys the comfort of knowing some posts are male only and 2) Considering how easily a girl can be triggered by the idea of boys discussing sex, it might be beneficial for the girls to block them off from certain topics.

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I know you mean to be sarcastic but honestly it's not a bad idea. I know I've come across a couple of posts that have been very graphic in terms of "since I've stopped my d*ck has gotten bigger and works a lot better" and as a girl you start picturing stuff, you know? Obviously not everythink can be hidden but it's always nice to do our best to prevent others from stumbling.

I know you mean to be sarcastic but honestly it's not a bad idea. I know I've come across a couple of posts that have been very graphic in terms of "since I've stopped my d*ck has gotten bigger and works a lot better" and as a girl you start picturing stuff, you know? Obviously not everythink can be hidden but it's always nice to do our best to prevent others from stumbling.

Lol I've gotten that about 7 times since I joined this site again. I always just ignore them. There's no reason for someone to intentionally seek out a women as an AP when they've never talked to that person before.

I think a Women's Only section involves tradeoffs that are both good and bad.

The Good
Women would have a place where they can write freely knowing that 1) they aren't triggering men and 2) aren't drawing unwanted attention to themselves by discussing sexual issues. I've heard several stories where women on NoFap suddenly get DM'd by guys "wanting to be accountability partners" (sure, right, yeah). I see the value in having a place like this.

The Bad
The main downfall, I believe, involves the exchange of testimonies between addicts and particularly SOs who are in the "partner support" section. If "partner support" became a women's only section, then addicts wouldn't get the helpful perspective of SOs, and SOs wouldn't get the perspective of other addicts, especially addicts who have a good amount of sobriety under their belts, or are much further along and can provide info from their own experiences.

I've made a couple of great friends here on NoFap who are female SOs. We're all here looking for help and support, and we've found our mutual experiences both enlightening and encouraging. I'd hate to see future users miss out on those possibilities.

However, obviously I see the value in protecting the women who visit these forums. No matter what you guys choose to do--set up a Women's Only site, or don't set one up--with either decision, something is gained and something is lost.

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Agree with SuperFan on all points. Also point out while the majority of SOs are female there are probably some male SOs in there to. Moving Partner Support to Women Only could exclude that small group.

And I as well have learned much from the SOs perspective, as well as receiving support and valuable insight into my own recovery.

But I see how the ladies could greatly benefit from a safe place to post and discuss.

I don't think it would even require 'officially' moving Partner Support to a women's only group ... I just think that if a women's only group existed, it would end up attracting a lot of SOs by default. Obviously I think they should have the freedom to have a place like that, but I just think of the handful of great people I wouldn't know right now if NoFap had been set up that way from the beginning.

Obviously I think they should have the freedom to have a place like that, but I just think of the handful of great people I wouldn't know right now if NoFap had been set up that way from the beginning.

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Totally agree. I think it should be an option, but honestly, I would hope that people wouldn't utilize the function unless it was really necessary for them for a specific topic. Otherwise I would hope they would be willing to let everyone learn from their experiences.

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