To think if 1 DC has a part-time job and saves, they lose out on financial support?

DS1 has a part-time job and can afford to purchase his own driving lessons and car. DS2 doesn't have a part-time job and can't afford to purchase his own driving lessons and car, so FIL brought both for him.

AIBU to think this isn't very kind? There's only a year between them. DH thinks it would be rude to mention it...

Oh that's unfair.I'd say something along the lines of we really appreciate what you've done for DS2, what will you be getting for DS1?Even if the answer is nothing then you can start the conversation of how not to do it in future as it's unfair.

Still but dd2 could (I assume) have got a part time job. He didn't. So he had the time and effort that ds1 put into his job to do his own thing and he still gets the same material things at the end.It wasn't need it was choice.

That's mean of the GP. Although my family does things like that a lot. My DB won't work more hours to afford the things he wants like a car, my parents just buy him what he needs. It's unfair, but life is like that. We don't all get the same opportunities or luck. Can you speak to the DC about it? Acknowledge the situation at least. Also are you able to subsidise DC1s lessons or car to compensate?

On the face of it seems unfair. Is there any kind of balancing up going on - eg did DFil pay for DS1 to go on a school trip years ago but not DS2. The only other reason would be the stage of education (is DS2 doing exams?) - but in that case DS2 could have worked last year so still could be unfair.

Not sure how to tackle this, partly depends on whether Dfil has form for this, or may just not have thought it through.

DH is so wrong it's not even funny. This goes beyond "rude" and into abusive. Of course something needs to be said! The time for talking was when FIL came up with this disgraceful idea. The only thing that needed to be said was "no".

Is DC2 the favoured child/grandchild? Would not-D H be so flacid if DC1 was the one being favoured?

DC1 is being treated like shit. Why are you standing by and letting this happen?

In this context, this comment sums up exactly what is wrong with society. One works for his lessons and the other is given equivalent because "they need it too". Apologies OP if there is a back story that justifies DS2 requiring additional support.YANBU to think this is unfair and should be challenged. GP can do what they like with their own money but I would point out the disparity and ask them to consider how it would make DS1 feel.Too late to change it now but I would be having a conversation with DS1 about life being unfair sometimes and reiterating how proud you are that he worked hard for his driving.