The Unburdened Heart: Finding Freedom in Forgiveness

My friend Suzie just released her book,The Unburdened Heart,and I’m so excited about the power and potential of her life-changing message. I had the honor of writing the foreword for her book, and I’d love to share my heart with you about it – today:

I don’t know exactly when it started. I just remember feeling angry and frustrated with my husband – almost every single day – on and off for months. One evening after an argument, J.J. told me that no matter what he did or how hard he tried, it was never enough.

He was right, but I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I was tired of being mean and miserable so I started asking God to show me what was going on. To help me figure out how, after seven years of a fairly happy marriage, we had gotten to this ugly place.

Over time I sensed God was showing me that I wanted J.J. to make up for what my dad had never been as a father to me and as a husband to my mom. I think I was trying to create my own version of “happily-ever-after,” and in doing so I became very controlling and critical.

You see, years as a child in a broken home with a broken heart had led to a significant sense of loss and deep disappointment. But I had never processed, grieved or let go of what I thought I deserved yet didn’t have.

My unforgiving heart and unfulfilled hopes had created bitter expectations. I thought if I could get J.J. to be the husband and dad I wanted him to be, maybe my broken past and shattered dreams could be put back together.

I knew I needed to deal with my pain, but I couldn’t just forgive and forget it. It wasn’t that easy. There were layers of hurts and issues I’d never dealt with.

I took the first step by acknowledging my pain and giving myself permission to feel it. Then I carved out time each week to unpack the memories and events that led me to this hard place and then I allowed God to heal them.

I asked Jesus to help me grieve the loss of things I wanted that I would never have from my dad. And I asked Him to walk me through the steps of forgiving my father so I could release the anger, abandonment and hurt that had held me prisoner for so long.

It was a process that took time, prayer and courage, but it was worth it. I was worth it. My marriage was worth it.

Like most people, I didn’t want to face my pain. I didn’t have time and I didn’t want to dig it all up. But I am so glad I did! Through it all, God showed me how to let go of my past hurts so I could take hold of hope and healing I never thought I would find.

As I worked through what happened in my childhood, and how it was affecting my marriage, I realized I needed the help of a friend. I needed someone who had walked a similar road to come alongside me to offer wisdom and another perspective in my healing journey.

Through the pages of The Unburdened Heart, Suzie Eller is that friend. Offering wisdom and a heart full of compassion, Suzie will come beside you and mentor you each step of the way. Yet Suzie doesn’t just share from a place of knowing about forgiveness; she writes from a place of living it and giving it, when it’s hard.

One thing I love about Suzie and the message she lives, is that she’s not a cookie-cutter Christian. She won’t just say, “You need to forgive.” She knows it’s not that easy, but she also cares too much to leave you in that hard place. Instead, she’ll take your hand and walk you through the process, sharing her story as you look at yours.

Bringing depth to the layers of a forgiving-life, Suzie will help you explore the different meanings of forgiveness as she walks with you through your unique journey. She’ll also introduce you to amazing women and men who have offered their hearts, their stories and their courage to help you recover yours!

Chapter by chapter Suzie will invite you, even urge you at times, into a place of hope and healing because she wants you to experience the sacred transformation that forgiveness brings.

I hope you’ll accept her invitation. It will require time, courage and perseverance but you are worth what it takes. You see, forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves when we offer it to others. In doing so, we don’t forgive so we can forget. We forgive, as we have been forgiven, so we can be set free from our past and live with confident hope in our future.

I’m giving away 2 copies of Suzie’s book – The Unburdened Heart: Finding the Freedom of Forgiveness. This your invitation to discover the freedom of forgiveness. Enter to receive a copy by clicking “Share Your Thoughts” to share your thoughts or simply let us know why you’d like to win a copy of Suzie’s book. {If you are reading this via email,click hereto enter to win.}

Renee Swope is a Word-lover, story-teller, heart-encourager and grace-needer. She's also a wife, mom, friend, daughter and author of A Confident Heart, a Retailers Choice Award winning book that became a best-seller and has been published in six languages, with over 150,000 copies sold. Renee is speaks around the country at women's events and and serves on the writing team for DaySpring’s inCourage blog. For twenty years, Renee served in leadership at Proverbs 31 Ministries and as former co-host of the ministry's radio program, “Everyday Life with Lysa & Renee.

Comments

I have lived through a lot in my life, where many people have done and said things that I know I need to forgive, but I cannot seem to find the way to do it. Every time I try, I just end up frustrated, upset, and more hurt than before.
My mom had 3 husbands that were not good examples of husbands or fathers. From my biological father that did things to me that cost him custody rights when I was 3, to her second husband who reminded me daily that I was not his daughter, and therefore was his personal slave, to her current husband who spends his time in one room, while the rest of us (including my mother) are in another room. This has led me to do/say/behave in certain ways that I am not proud of, and has hurt me further.
I have tried to forgive all of these people repeatedly, and fail every time. I am ready to forgive, and move on, but am very unsure of how to do so. I would love to read what Suzie has to say on the subject, and embark on the journey to forgiveness and peace.

I have read several of the books written by the women of Proverbs 31 ministries including “A Confident Heart” Which my daughter is reading now. I would love to have this book as I struggle as a lot of us do with unforgiveness. Thank you for your ministry !!

I would love to have the opportunity to read this book to help me understand why I am usually the person doing the forgiving all the time. Maybe it will help me understand why some people don’t feel or refuse to forgive people. I am constantly going back and forth with my sister on why forgiveness is important. Nothing seems to work. It has been 2 yrs. now and we have not spoken. I pray about it often, but don’t feel that I should be the one that always gives. I feel bad for feeling this way, but tired of her constantly doing this every few years, and I always have to be the bigger person. Am I wrong in feeling this way??? I would love to read this and have a better understanding of these burdens.

I would like to win a copy of The Unburdened Heart because lately God has been really challenging me on all areas of unforgiveness in my life. I know p31 produces great material and would love to read this book.

I have been struggling with unforgiveness for 2 years because of a betrayal. I know I need to completely forgive to be free, but I struggle everyday! I would love to win a copy of The Unburdened Heart!!

I am completely captivated by all I have heard and read so far about this book. I would love to win a copy as I know the Lord has led me to it. I have at least three people in my life struggling to forgive and I lack the words. I think this would make a great book to start a small group (of healing) with!

Hi Renee, Thank you so much for sharing your story. I already shared with Suzie how for someone like myself who has already read a lot about forgiveness, hearing someone’s personal story of forgiveness has the power to break the isolation that unforgiveness brings and ushers in trust. That trust makes all the difference in being able to walk out of bondage. My copy of Unburdened Heart is already on its way but I would love a copy of your book to read after Unburdened Heart. It would be a great follow up! Bless you.

I would love to read this entire book. I read the intro and
Know it’s what everyone needs for true victory. Forgiveness is
A topic that everyone needs to be an expert on! I would love to
Win a copy but if I don’t, I’ll be buying one. Thanks
Proverb 31 gals for living for Jesus and not for
Selfish gain!

I would really like to win a copy of this book because this is exactly where I am at right now. I have started seeing a counselor and have started the process of working through my pain from the past and embracing forgiveness. What an overwhelming task it seems to be. I am trying to just trust God that he has begun this and will finish it and guide my steps all along the way. This book seems like it would be a huge help.

I have come a long way in my walk with the Lord and I am finding peace and happiness despite what others have done to me or said about me. Yet I struggle with forgiveness daily. However, I can think of nothing as freeing as letting go and trusting God!!!

Forgiveness is hard and easy at the same time…. It’s easy as long as you don’t have to deal with the person again, it’s hard to keep reminding yourself that you have forgiven them when you have to see and interact with them daily.

Your entry today resonates with me on many levels… It is amazing to me how I think I have forgiven someone for something and yet it can resurface seemingly out of the blue and I become angry all over again…would love a copy of the book– thanks for your insight–

Forgiveness can be the most difficult thing to give but the blessings, peace and love that will follow can change a heart of stone to one that freely forgives. I have been released by forgiving those who have harmed me. I pray that those that read your message find freedom for their hearts and minds by learning to forgive.

I’d love to win a copy and see how I can make a difference in my life. Married for 10 yrs, 3 children, lots of rensentment in my past with broken home, yet I have forgiven my mother, I feel like I have an injustice to my children as I’m not a “girly girl mom” type… I’ve always been a tom-boy! I really wish I would have accepted my mom sooner. I forgave her, but I still have days when I feel like I don’t really have a leg to stand on for my girls….

Learning to make changes daily and rely on God for guidance…. daily communication with my God is making me stronger.

The past 7years of my life have been An emotional roller coaster. It began with the birth of my daughter. She was born with a congenital heart defect that required open heart surgery at 6 weeks of age. Life went on, she survived but is still not cured will need more open heart surgeries in the near future. I hated GOd and didn’t want to hear that “he chose me and my husband for a reason”, no reason was good enough in my book. Fast forward to this past year and my husband and went through some very bad marital issues. I had to make some very serious choices. I choose God and slowly forgiveness to my husband. Forgiveness is very hard. I struggle with it every single day. But finding God has helped me so much.

I would LOVE to have this book!! Until recently I thought I was a forgiving person, but there is one area(person) in my life that I keep giving the situation to God , but find myself going back to:(
I have for to completely let go & let God 🙂

This book is totally calling to me during this season of my life. We are celebrating our 20 years this October and I want to live the life WE were meant to live not the one we are carrying our baggage through.

Forgiveness is something I’ve fought all my life. Through things like a parents abandonment, sexual abuse, betrayal, rape, physical abuse, etc. I held on to the pain and refused to extend forgiveness. Now, I have realized how much precious time I lost by holding on to that. Once I learned to forgive others, I felt a huge freedom but the hardest thing has been learning to forgive myself. I blamed myself for so many things that were absolutely out of my control. Forgiving myself has probably had the greatest impact and opened the world of finding peace with God. I’m quite sure this book would continue to grow my relationship with Christ.

This posting on facebook caught my attention simply because I saw the word “forgiveness” in the description. I have struggling through some forgiveness with my mother and working through some old wounds that have recently become “infected” by strong beliefs in lies that the devil has been telling me about my upbringing. Being raised in a home where I was screamed at over spilled milk, I seen developed extreme actions of timidity and perfectionism. These controlling qualities have affected many areas of my life and not in a positive way. In so many ways I have tried to say the magic words in forgiving my mother but nothing seemed to stick, the wound was still there, though buried deep down, still damaging my self-confidence. I have been reading Prov 31 ministries devotionals and I came across an article that encourage woman to forgive our mothers for their pasts, they are imperfect works under construction…and loved by the Lord, and to celebrate and enjoy the woman that their mother has become. This message guided me to a slow but steady journey to forgiving my mother for the past. The wound is sometimes re-prenetrated by hurtful actions but I am hanging on to whatever truth I can grasp to remember that God has a plan, He has me on a journey to be strengthened and molded into His beautiful masterpiece. I am very happy to see that another book has been published on forgiveness, so many of us walk around with wounds that can be mending if we just allow it.

I used to think that, before you could forgive someone, they had to apologize to you. The Lord has been working with me and showing me that forgiving is not accepting an apology. Forgiveness is putting down the burden. It’s letting go of the pain that the person caused you, and not letting the pain and anger and bitterness tear you apart anymore. Forgiveness is so freeing!

Hi! I SO need this book to help me forgive a couple people who have really hurt me lately. It has been SO hard to do, especially when they have done it before. Just trying to give it all to God, but still hard to not think about every day! Been praying every day for these people. Could really use this book! It looks SO good! Thank you and God Bless!! Julie

Winning a copy of this book would be such a blessing! Forgiveness is something I long to understand better – especially after the betrayal of two very dear friends happened with no real explanation just four months before I was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer. To walk through that valley without those friends was intensely lonely, to say the least. Thankfully, God has been near, and my relationship with Him has been deepened through it all. These early months of the year are the ‘anniversary’ of the betrayal and serve to bring into sharp focus the continuing work of forgiveness I still need to grab onto.

Wow! I would love to win this book because I need this book! Reading Suzie’s story is like looking back on my entire life and I struggle so much with wanting my husband to be everything that I’ve never had and then being bitter and angry towards him when he is not what I think he should be. I know I have to forgive and let go of the past and that God can heal those hurts, but it is a daily struggle.

As God often does, He has been bringing forgiveness as a recurring theme in my life. Recently a women at church invited me to her evening bible study which was well under way. My first night there, topic- forgiveness. Turn on the morning radio program, topic- forgiveness. Etc. And now, browsing Facebook, book giveaway topic- forgiveness! I think win or lose this giveaway THIS is a book I need to read. Thank you for the opportunity and praise God for His relentless pursuit of refining me.

God has forgiven my endless failures, but I am having a hard time dealing with Satan’s constant reminders of a few rather harsh royal screw-up’s… the reminders also come after I have a single flash memory of the earthly love of my life shattered our marriage and sent our 4 children and myself packing to live at my parents house 5 states away. We have since then reunited, and are attempting to put pieces back in place even with small slivers still missing. I love my husband with every fiber of my being. My Lord has forgiven me… I need help with the slivers that tend to slice when I least expect it… thank you, Renee, for all of your encouragement and reality checks. You are a tremendous blessing in SO many ways. 😉

Well-I normally don’t do this sort of thing. I’m pretty self-contained and feel pretty weird sharing anything very personal in a public format. But I think I am supposed to do this because I have tried to back out twice and here I am. My father has done some pretty awful things to his family and told me several years ago after a somewhat unpleasant “discussion” that if he had to do it all over again he wouldn’t change a thing. I have really struggled with forgiveness in so many areas of my life. That’s it.

Just the title alone is enough to prompt me to want this book. I’ve experienced the relief and joy of forgiveness throughout my less than perfect 25-year marriage. I’m not counseling a young friend who needs to learn how to forgive and enjoy God’s peace regardless of her life circumstances. I’d love to win this book and share it with her. Thank you for considering me.

I’ve been a Christian for about 14 years. My husband left when my kids were little. I became a Christian 6 months later. I raised my children in the Lord but life was rough. Then my kids moved out and I remarried a man who got cancer 10 days after we married. I never wanted to get remarried. My mom was married 4 times and her 4th husband murdered her. Life hasn’t gone that well for me. :/ I thought marriage would fix me. Ha! We all know that just brings more struggles. So here I am, struggling. Watching my kids do things no mother wants to see but has no control over. A sick husband and I support us. I have been asking God to do surgery on my heart (after I ask Him to fix everyone else of course.)

I too struggle with forgiveness. It seems as if everyone I trust eventually lets me down in one area or another. Recently it has been my husband. I discovered he lied to me about some things before we were married, and I am having an extremely hard time forgiving him and moving forward in the direction that I feel God would have me go. Perhaps this book would help me in that endeavor. It would be wonderful to have a new lease on my marriage….

I would like to receive this book because I know there is much more to learn about forgiveness… There are always opportunites to exercise forgiveness, be it through offense of speech or actions. Therefore,I always have need for more reminders of the need for forgiveness for myself and the grace needed to extended that forgiveness to others.

My husband am I are leading a couples group and I am always amazed at how god leads me the night before to verses or thoughts that I can are itch my group. Tonight I randomly clicked on this link through Facebook and loved your ideas thar I read so far. His would b. great tool to me to have for myself as we’ll as to be able to share with others.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32. New International Version (NIV)
I know I am at another place in my life where forgiving others and myself is imperative. This book would be a blessing.

I’m so glad to have been directed to this page! I’m embarrassed to say I have never read any of the authors books but as I read the description of the book all I could think was “Ouch!” I was just in bed with my husband whining “once again” as this has become a regular activity about all the ways I wish he would love and adore me more… so excited about this book and praying it can lead me to the kind of healing God has for me, I know it’s not fair to put so very much pressure on an already fantastic husband!

Hi Renee! I would like to thank for sharing this experience with so many hurting woman. I think that it would be great to receive this book as a gift. Recently my husband and I have been ministering together as first time pastors (well he’s the pastor lol). As we have begun this journey together I have been spending time with some of the woman in our church. We are currently finishing up another bible study “let it go” (Proverbs 31 ministries) and I am now looking for another study that will help to bring healing into the lives of the woman that I now call family! Forgiveness is something that this world has forgotten about and without it it eats away at our lives. It steals us of the joy and peace that God so desperately desires for us to have. So thank you for this opportunity to possibly win this book!

I don’t want to share too much information in this forum, but I have had many events in my life pile on top of each other without healing. I know I’m supposed to forgive, but I don’t know how. That is why I would like to enter to win a copy of your book. Thank you.

I wonder if maybe this might be where my struggles are coming from….I come from not a broken home but a severely cracked one! I was adopted (issue 1–why did my mom not keep me). 2….My adoptive mom had mental issues and my child hood was a bit rough at times. 3…lost my 22yr old son in a car wreck and 4….got a divorce 3 months later. I could possible have a few forgiveness issues!!! Oh, and I left out forgiving myself for what I feel is my biggest sin.
I am currently struggling with depression and just getting through each day and doing what I HAVE to do. This book could possibly help me get to the core of my problem….let go of my past, forgive myself and others.

I thought I had a handle on forgiveness, but after 10 years of being a divorced mom, it has been brought to my attention that I have become bitter, negative, hardened. I want to find peace and joy again. I think the first step will be forgiveness, but I need help knowing how to “truly” forgive.

I would love to read this book as forgiveness is such a difficult task for anyone. However, my mother has had a very difficult life and I would like to win this book so I can give it to her. She struggles with letting things from her past go so she can live a gracious and joyous life. In the last year she has really worked on herself as a Christian and I think this book would be a blessing to her life.

My husband andI have been married for a little more than 2 years. We’ve been through many difficult moments. I’ve let anger and bitterness get the best of me and our marriage. It has been a challenge to forgive myself and forgive him for the things that have happened. God is slowly but surely working in my heart and for that I’m thankful.

Gosh. Where do I begin. I feel like the marriage description above was me. Let me start and try and make this short. This book could really help me out in ways I can’t convey. My own childhood was not bad just longed for the father I needed but really did t have until now. As I was dating I looked for that figure in so many wrong relationships. I finally prayed for he right one. I found him. We married in nov of 2005. I was pregnant with our first born. It was accepted. We were I. Love and ready. A few short months our whole world was shattered….our firstborn was stillborn at 38 weeks. A beautiful baby girl. Perfect in every way. I found out I had a clotting disorder that caused it. I was angry. I couldn’t remember the years we dated up to having her. We moved 6 months after and I hated moving, I hated everything. I disliked who I was I felt like I let everyone down, I started seeking HIM. I was baptized a few months after we moved. Yet still I was Holding onto anger fear and resentment, I felt if I wasn’t pregnant whe we got married the. It wouldn’t happen. A few years and under extreme watch we had our second daughter two years to the date we buried her sister, I knew it was God. I was overjoyed…yet still resentful and angry. Like i am now. I was given a miracle and a blessing and I am still angry over the first being gone. I have asked for forgiveness. I have laid it at the alter and prayed over it but yet still I carry the burden. Since my daughter who is now 5 was born our marriage is not where I want it to be. I feel like I am a mean and nasty wife and mother. I can’t let it go. We have have four more losses too. Our 7 years have not been happy. Yet still we have our Abby and each other. I just miss the happy times and want to be there again. I want to be forgiven and to forgive. I can no longer have any more and she wants a brother and sister. I can’t give her that. Not now. I need to go forth and do btetter but I can’t I need help. I pray and cry and try to let go but I can’t. I just want the peace, the positivity and the forgiveness to encompass me. I would love to get your insight and read this to learn from you. Thank you. Praying for all of you above as well

i have a lot of hurt and.pain from a few people in my life that i just can’t seem to forgive.. no matter how hard i try or how much i pray about it the anger, hurt, and betrayal is still there. Its been 7 years.. I want to put this behind me and forgive them so i can move on..

I have been struggling with forgiveness for a long time. I have read the free sample of the intro and chapter one and I think this book would be awesome! I would love to win a copy to help me learn how to forgive and dig deeper into my unforgiveness! Thank you Renee and Suzie! Blessings to you both!

So much if this story you’ve shared sounds similar to mine and I fins myself struggling to forgive. I have to chsne the path and future for my boys and I know He is the only One who can make that happen.

I read you forward and bingo! I knew how you felt. Unfortunately I come from generational brokeness. Now that I am a single mom it’s my responsibility to break the brokeness. I am getting ready to finish Living waters which is six months of healing relational brokeness through Jesus Christ. It’s very powerful Although it focuses on homosexuality which is noty struggle. This book would help me as my layers are slowly peeling off and forgiving from a woman’s experience. My class is about to end and I’m scared of not being held accountable with my group. looking for a new class for my next chapter in healing with the help of the Father.
Thankyou !
Taryn

I to have carried hurt all of my life now at 49 years old God alone has torn down that wall for me, I no longer have to feel hopeless, and a failure, but I still need to ask what is next Lord, you have delivered me, now how can you use me?

This book sounds like a wonderful way to assist in letting go and letting God be God without any boxes. I would love the opportunity to win a book but if not, it is on my list to read no matter. As women we need time to stop and heal because we hold so deeply to pains.

Where to start… My dad was never involved in my life. My parents divorced when I was 5. My step dad had one way to communicate. That was to yell. I never really experienced the love & confidence that came from a good male role model. Always looking for the love I so longed for, I had my first child at 16. We married before he was born & was married for twenty five years ( and 2 more children) when he decided that he didn’t get to experience all he wanted to in life. He was ” eight years from 50 & didn’t want to look back & think he could have done something different). There was an affair & now he’s planning a life with the other woman. Through counseling with my pastor, some of his best advise was that I can’t let bitterness into my life. This hurts more than anything in life & I want want to walk in the peace & liberty of complete forgives.

Hello,
My husband abandoned me in Nov. So much is happening. He’s on prescription drugs/drinking, idolizes his motorcycle & motorcycle group more than me, our marriage or our God. He’s on his 2nd girlfriend, has filed for divorce. Refuses to see me, talk or even text now. Putting us $30,000 more in debt in the last 3 months. Left me with a new mortage, 4 horses, 5 dogs, 1 cat, 1 guinea pig & now all the other expenses. I refuse to give up. I am standing on Gods promises. God hates divorce. What God has put joined together, let no man tear apart. Man is not independent of woman, nor woman independent of man in the Lord. I am closer to God than I ever was, & will be a prayer warrior for me husband for the rest of my life. I believe. . God can reconcile us, even if my husband has fallen away from God & wants Nothing to do with me any more. God has been talking to me. I put my husband before God. I am learning to put God first as it should be.
I ask from you. . . Prayer. Lift us up in prayer as my battle is daily. (Jim & April)
God is also putting people in my life for me to comfort as well. My own prayer list for others has grown to 55 people, and I know 1 has asked Christ into her heart. Praise God!. I would like this book to give to a friend, Elena, who’s dad has recently passed & her mother was not a very willing caretaker of him & she holds a lot of anger towards her mother. I have been encouraging her to read Gods word daily, pray to Him to for forgivness & help her with her loss.She’s turned to drinking to help her cope. Im hoping that this book would help her to heal & forgive others, cling to God, rather than become bitter.
God Bless you & yours

I have watched the discussions about this book on a few different Facebook websites. I was just talking to a friend about it tonight and how I struggle with forgiveness and brought up this book. I got off the phone and there’s a free giveaway. I take it as confirmation from God.

My husband has filed for divorce and after reading your story I feel as if I am in the exact same situation and share the exact same feelings. I want so desperately to make my marriage work but my husband is unwilling and wants to give up without even giving us a chance. I know that he is not in my control, but there are things that I can do and change to make me a better wife. We just had a baby, 5 months ago, and I feel like my world is falling apart. I turn to God for strength and patience as I work through my issues. I really feel I need some true guidance on how to turn things over to Him and try to find peace during this storm. I love reading many of the books suggested on Proverbs 31 and feel I could only benefit from reading this one as well.

Hello. I just came across this on Facebook, I’m a huge fan of the Proverbs 31 ministry. Decided to click on the link and am like, wow, this is actually something I need right now. I’m in a womens small group/bible study where the last couple of studies we did have started unpacking some feelings I didn’t realize I had suppressed regarding forgiveness, especially toward my parents, that I had ‘forgotten’ about. I am trying to process these things myself but don’t really know how to do that. A lot of the things I’ve have done, especially in my teens/20’s makes sense to me now. I am now 51! Better late than never to sort these things out. I would LOVE a copy of this book to help me through that.

I look at all these people that are hurting. I know that God wants us free from unforgiveness. Somehow that knowledge does not make the act of forgiving any easier. I see the people that caused such deep feelings of hurt and betrayal moving forward and I am stuck still in the grieving process. I am tired of being stuck. I want to be free.

I have always had a difficult time forgiving those who are not sorry for the wrong things they have done. How do you forgive someone who doesn’t care that they’ve hurt you or doesn’t believe they need forgiveness? I’d like to read this book because there are some people in my life I need to and have tried to forgive but every time I do this they turn around and do even more hurtful things. I would like like to experience the freedom of forgiveness so that I can move on and not be burdened with the hurt anymore.

I am at a horrible point in my marriage that I am angry everyday with my husband and children. I need to be free and let go of anger but I keep getting angry and I just want to be alone so I can’t be angry at anyone.

I would so love to win this book. Confident at Heart was a game changer for me and I have a feeling this will be too. I just caught myself thinking bitter thoughts again today and I’d love to live in freedom from that.

I just went through the Walk to Emmaus and it saved my life! I had those black, dark places in my heart, mind and soul and even thought of taking my life, but I cried out to the Holy Father and He helped me to get on the right path. I didn’t know why I was doing that either, but I was not me anymore and started going deeper in the Word and reading constantly, writing in my journal and doing a lot of praying! Thank you for the opportunity to have a chance at this book.

I have been struggling with unforgiveness for so long now. I know it is wrong of me to withhold my forgiveness, but honestly, I just don’t know how to separate my hurt from my anger. I know the anger is causing me to be unforgiving. I definitely have a heart that is surrounded by pain and anger now. I want to be free of this prison so much. I am critical, sad, angry, hurt, downtrodden,jealous, hopeless, and I don’t like myself at all. I’ve been a believer my whole life and I know enough to know that all of these feelings are coming from my unforgiving heart. I don’t like this person that has taken over residence in my heart and my mind. I have a daughter who is nine and has severe trust issues because she has a dad that has done nothing but let her down. I don’t want her to mirror my emotional habits. I know this is something only the Lord can change in me, but I also know I have to let him do it. I just am having such a difficult time. 🙁

My intent for reading this book would not be strictly for myself, but my adult daughters. They are not speaking and one has completely written the other off. As their mother, this breaks my heart. I would like to read the book so I could help the one that seems to be so very bitter and unable to let go. I see her wrecking her life and the life of those around her. She is losing friends and a very important support network. My goal is not to meddle (remember they are adults), but to encourage them both. Before it’s too late.

God gives us the strength and desire to do anything which will give Him the glory! And He can encourage us through your book – that’s why I’d like to win a copy. Offering forgiveness has been difficult for me with some people, and yet was easy to extend to others….

Hi I am the women’s ministry director of a church in a suburb of Houston, Texas and have read many of the Proverbs 31 books and have always grown in great ways from studying them and have often shared them with the women of my church through bible studies; I think this may be a really good one to do that with as we all have issues hidden and known that we need to forgive in order to fully live the life Christ wants for us. I know this book would help many women in my church as well as myself. Thank you for your awesome ministry!!!!

Like most people who would like to win a copy of Unburdened I too have things and people in my life that I’m struggling to forgive. I know I should forgive and can see the logic of why to forgive but I am lost as to how to forgive. I like to say I understand that those people who’s choices hurt me are just that “people” I’m sure I’ve made mistakes that hurt others, it’s life. But getting to the point where I’m not constantly reminded of the pain, or playing out a possible conversation where I make these people understand my pain, seems far off. To have people’s names make me angry isn’t working for me anymore I want the freedom and peace of forgiving everyone.

I intimately relate to the feelings of dissatisfaction in my marriage; I was told that I was fat, lazy, ugly stupid. He told me that he didn’t love me, never loved me….he didn’t even like me. Even after I took his clothes and threw them in the front lawn as a statement that his tyranny will no longer be tolerated, the anger didn’t magically disappear. He retaliated with allegations that I subjected our children to dangerous, abusive, threatening and inappropriate behaviors. Clearly, it was a litigation strategy he exercised to gain an advantage in our divorce. The lies he has reported has substantially interfered with my access to my children. I have not been able to fashion a new family unit post divorce or move past the disputes. For safety reasons, experts involved in our case have articulated guidelines that limit my continued contact with one of my two daughters. Although it has been determined the presence of any abuse was frivolous, groundless and vexatious, my older daughter (12) still thinks I am the enemy. SHe was torn from the parent that has loved her, protected, provided, spent time with, nurtured; a previously strong, entact, positive and loving relationship transformed to outward hostility. She participates in the denigration; she is sure of herself as an “independent thinker” that events that NEVER occured actually happened. She has a vivid imagination as she describes scenarios she did not experience. The animosity has spread to friends and family. My beautiful child has become estranged, she has not had the benefit of a mother in 4 years, she hasn’t spent the night with me in over 2 years, and she continues to collaborate with her father. How do I find forgiveness? I know I must humbly surrender: “Go and Let God.” I find it difficult to have faith that all is well. In spite of all my fears, feelings, struggles, confusions I am simply suppose to trust in God that everyting is OK. Making that leap to cooperate with God’s will may be discovered via An Unburdened Heart? It would be my honor to win a free copy of this book. I am desperate to discover the magic sauce/secret ingredient to forgiveness. For some reason I keep experiencing repetitive victimization with no exit….forgiveness may be the way to set me free.

I would like this book for a friend. She lost someone she was close to and has had a hard time with forgiveness. The person/family member she was close to was a victim of a henous crime. I wouldn’t even know where to begin as far as helping her and this would be perfect.

Forgiveness is something we all struggle with and as a woman who is fighting the spiritual battle to save my marriage I can truly say forgiveness is a daily struggle. When there is an experience of betrayal in a marriage but yet you know in your heart that God is telling you to stand for a marriage that to the rest of the world is dead, we have to start with forgiveness, which is why I signed up for the bible study that Suzie is doing and why I would love to win a copy.

I don’t have any exciting, eye catching things to say to make you want to pick me for receiving this book. I just know that there are many things in my life that have happened that I need to be able to forgive myself and others for. From what I have seen already, I think this book might lead me closer to having that happen. Thank you for even considering giving the book away at all. I am sure that God will lead you to the ones who will benifit from it the most. Thank you for your ministry.

I need to forgivemy my father for never being a part of my life, my mother for her crazy unpredictable behaviors, my mothers boy friend for sexually abusing me at a vary young age, and now my husband for abandoning me emotionally and for betraying my trust. I find myself so bitter and angry. All my relationships suffer. the one that breaks my heart the most, is my relationship with my kids. They are sweet, smart and funny. I am harsh and emotionally unavailable. I know I need to learn to forgive so that I can be the mother they deserve.

I would LOVE a copy of this book, not for me but for my best friend. Your opening statement was like reading her life! As a small group we are trying to help but we don’t have the knowledge to lead her and her husband through it,( besides encouraging to pray and seek counseling)
I would absolutely love to give this encouragement and guidance so she can discover (without being preached at by us) how to let go and let God!
Thank you so much for this opportunity!!!!
Blessings!
Danielle

I would love to read this book. I am involved in a new ministry at church that is giving baby clothes to single parents. From what I am reading about the book it would be a very good one for me to read to be able to share with new believers as they start their journey with Christ. Forgiveness of other, God and self is detrimental to your relationships and your body. Having a book to come along side and help with the process would make a world of difference.

I would love this book!!! I am currently helping one of my children and another teen (completely different situation) to deal with forgiveness so they can be free of this burden; free to love; free from bitterness, which will eat you alive; and free to live life more abundantly!!! THANKS. 🙂

Forgiveness is somthing I know I need to work on. It has been much too easy for me to abandon a relationship than to forgive and heal. And the only person that is hurting is me. I look forward to reading this book.

I enjoyed meeting you at Willowbrook Baptist Church this past weekend. You did an amazing job on your messages an it helped me in the season I am in now. I would love to have a copy or this book, I am sure it would speak to my heart. God Bless You an your ministry.

As a child, I was abused by my Dad and used to get men by my Mom. My Dad died @ 57 and my Mom @ 61 and I grew to have so much anger for them in my heart. When I talked to my brother about all this, he said my Mom knew what my Dad did to me and I can’t help but know that my Dad knew that my Mom liked men.

Long story. I am 63 years old now and still try to deal with a long hard past childhood. The sad thing for me is, I am a Christian and even a Deacon at my Church. I know about forgiveness and what harboring anger can do to you. After all these years I am still trying to work through it.

Pray for me and thank you for listening to “part” of my story. Paula Ashton

Renee, your post just perfectly described how I feel towards my husband right now – anger, bitterness, unforgiveness for not being able to provide for our family so that I don’t have to work. I know…how selfish of me but just honest. I know the problem is with me but I have not been successful at forgiving. I would love to win this book..

After struggling for 38 years in a marriage I was committed to stand behind, I finally was forced to pursue Divorce …. my husband’s heart was in pursuing his dream of “Transitioning into living full time as a woman”.
Forgiveness doesn’t even seem to be in my vocabulary at this point in my journey

If I won a copy of this book, I would present it to my oldest daughter. She has been living in unforgiveness towards her birthfather, and this book just might give her the keys to unlocking that door so that she could live in all that God has for her…and setting herself free.

I think I have forgiven people, but when I run into them unexpectedly, I sometimes feel the hurt and anger all come right back. I need to learn how to forgive and truly forget. This sounds like a good book that could be shared with others too.

When I passed through my deep valley of hurt, my only way out was to turn to The Lord and give it all to Him. He is the one who gave me the strength to forgive and that began my healing journey. We forgive because He first forgave us. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but now I am stronger, healthier, and happier.

I know that there are things in my past that I need to forgive. Reading your email made me do some thinking. I would like to read this book you are talking about. Because I know that the things I am struggling with now is because I have never really forgiven.

I would love to win this book to give to my daughter who is just in the process of reconciling with her husband. She wouldn’t understand if I bought the book for her but if I told her I had won the book and thought she would find it useful, I feel she would be more accepting of it. She is not walking with the Lord although she grew up as a Christian. Maybe this book would help the Holy Spirit reach her heart.

Thanks so much, Renee, for sharing your insights and informing us about this new book. It sounds like a book that relates to many of us. I personally want people to forgive me, but find it so difficult to forgive others. Sometimes, I want to feel like a victim and nurse my wounds, rather than find the healing of forgiveness. I would love to read this book and focus on the freedom of forgiveness.

I would like to win this book because I need to learn how to understand by X husband. Your story sounds like a mirror image to how he is acting, even though he has moved on and is living with her and her children. He is so full of anger and hate towards me. It makes it almost impossible to co-parent with him. I am at my wits end and I still have many years to go, please help!

I would love to win a copy of this book, because I’m at that place. Due to betrayals in our marriage of 22 years–I’m having a hard time with this. I know to forgive I must forget. That’s what I’m having the hard time about! I’m asking God to soften my heart so I can truly forgive & forget! This would do me a lot of good! With almost 23 invested in my marriage, and 3 kids–I’m not giving up! Thanks Jan Robbins

I would love to read this book. I’m at the place right now that my 15 year hourney of digging is at a standstill and I need help getting to the bottom, I look forward to having help in finally forgiving and letting go of everything. I thank God for answering my prayers on how to get there. I know it is a journey.
Blessings,
Cindy

i would love to win a copy of this book, because I think that it would help me in forgiveness. I am asking God to help me in this area. I think that this would help me a lot in this area and do me a great a lot of good. Thank you, Kathy

This is the next book I need to read. I am currently doing the OBS Let.It.Go. – what a great follow up this would be. I had a good childhood, but as a pre-teen I was sexually abused by my older brother. When I was an adult is when my parents found out and that caused a lot of anger and hurt in our family. Consequently my older brother was not a part of our family for about 22 years. Now there has been reconciliation due to our Dad fighting his 2nd bout of lung cancer. There is still a “strangeness” in some of our relationships and I struggle with different feelings daily with the past and current situation. My husband is cautious around my brother and that has caused stress in our marriage. I need help with the forgiveness so my marriage can become a stronger one and I stop expecting my husband to be what I missed for so many years.

Oh Wow. It wasn’t until infidelity found its way into my marriage that I realized it was the same sense of trying to fix what had gone wrong in my childhood that left me unhappy in my marriage. I was bitter and mean and sadly, my husband walked away from us an into the waiting arms of another woman unhappy in her own marriage.

We are almost divorced now, after 3 years, and oh how I wish we could both read this book. I have to forgive my parents and my husband and his mistress and myself so I can move on and create a better legacy for my 4-year-old daughter.

I wish he could read it to learn that forgiving is not forgetting, because he holds close to him all the anger he’s built up against me the past 4 years.

Thank you to everyone who shares their stories and insights; to God be the glory!!

Thank you for sharing the story today. I have been working on forgiveness and my marriage for 2 years now but don’t feel like I’m getting any where. I would love to read your book, to see if I can truly be freed from unforgiveness.

Earlier today, before I recieved the e-mail about the book, God had laid on my heart the importance of forgiveness and how I needed to forgive. Reading Renee’s post convicted me of another person I need to forgive.

I have had a year of chaos and this post was just what i needed. Going through a divorce now and starting over again with 3 boys and creating a new life for myself. I would love a copy of this book to help me on this journey.

Looking forward to reading this book!! browsed through some of the comments left here and so many, myself included have trouble forgiving. Especially to those who don’t think they did anything to hurt us…I struggle with forgiving and thinking that if we forgive we are letting the person “off the hook” …. but we are not…when we forgive we are acknowledging that God is in control and that what Satan has used, person, place or event, to destroy and hurt us, God uses to strengthen us! I have a lot of forgiveness left to give I am sure and as the hurts are revealed and brought to light, I pray that I continue to give them to God and allow him to show me more…to grow through forgiveness….making me who God intends me to be….

Wow! I have been waiting and praying for this. After reading your wonderful preface to the book I felt like I was reading about myself. As a child/teen I experienced years of hurt, emotional abandonment and a severed family because of my father. Through the years I have swept this pain under the rug and learned to “exist” with it but have never properly healed. I have been married for 13 years and for the most part it has all been great however I have felt the same as you towards my husband and could never understand why until now – you gave me a new perspective and a possible answer for my disconnection. I want to heal properly from this hurt and am looking for assistance and resources. I believe this book could be the opening to the door that has been shut to my heart for many years and would appreciate the chance to give it a try.

I would like to win a copy of the book. My grandson’s father was abusive to him and my daughter. He has changed his life, but still has times when his words and action aren’t still where they should be. He and my daughter are no longer together and my grandson won’t have anything to do with him.
I have trouble forgiving him. I know that God forgives and has forgiven me, but God commands us to forgive as he has forgiven us and I have to pray that God helps me through this. Sometimes its hard to forgive and forget. I need to be the example to my daughter and grandson.

Renee today’s blog on forgiving and forgetting, I truly believe it was answer to my prayer because my boyfriend and I we are struggling because there were issues in my past with hurts.that is making my relationship hard. I’m in tears knowing God heard my prayer for help and I praise Him. Thank you so much for sharing this blog.

I would like the opportunity to win this book. I had a situation similar to this but it was with my mother and it was me who asked her for forgiveness. My mother abandoned us 4 kids when my youngest sister was 13 months old and I was 6 and the oldest. My father and grandmother raised us. I never heard from my mother againg until I was 19 and up until I was 40years old, only spoke to her 3 or 4 times. One Sunday our pastor spoke about forgiveness and it was then that I decided to look for my mother again and ask her for forgivenss for not being the daughter I should have been. The Bible tells us to honor our father and mother and I felt I was not honoring my mother by not having a relationship with her. We faded away from each other again. In 2008 I tried to find her again but could not. I had looked for her up until last month when I finally got facebook and found my half sisters and brother. I also found out my mother had died 10 years ago. Although it has been 10 years since she died, I am just now going though the mourning of loosing my mother. I am so glad I had the opportunity years ago to be forgiven by her before she died. Thank you

God has been working in such amazing ways in my life and I think I’ve dealt with past hurts and forgiveness but then things come up that I realize I still have a problem with complete forgiveness. I would love to learn how to let it all completely go as God has done for me.

I would love to recive this book. Right now, along with my 3 sisters in Christ, I am on a journey of healing. We are reading “Confident Heart” together and it has articulated so well our feelings and needs for healing. I want to learn to forgive as I have been forgiven…and I long to show this act of love to others in my life, so they too can find freedom in Christ!
Thank you

I have been married to my husband for 25 years! I can’t believe I have come across this message because my dad hurt me very much when I was 17. I was a daddy’s girl and when I found out he cheated on my mom I was devastated to no end. I have gone along the road of trying to forgive and I have been down some pretty ugly roads while my husband has had to endure all of it. My life is exactly how Renee wrote about hers. My husband deployed twice and I have tried the forgiveness journey but I’m not quite there yet! After years and years of prayers from my husband and my sisters, I have to say our marriage is much better! I still have not really forgiven my dad and I would love to see how Suzie can help me. I would love to pass this book on to my sisters also. Thank you so much for this Renee.

I’ve always felt that maybe I’m holding on to some unforgiveness, but I’m not sure what it is.
I’ve said I’ve forgiven people from childhood but still feel something is not settled.
Would love to know whats holding me back. I think this book might be able to help me.

I have found that forgiving God is something we over look – God understands when we want to blame God for the heartache in our lives caused by failed relationship either by choice or by death – then to forgive one’s self – I belive I am to love others as I love myself – I am to forgive myself before I can forgive others in my heart – thanks – Gary

I would love to have this book to share with a friend of mine. She is working on forgiving her husband who has walked out on her and is living with another woman. She is really hurting right now, but she knows how important it is to forgive him. I am hoping maybe this book could help.

Thank you Rene and Suzie for being so honest about your pain from the past. I continue to struggle in forgiving myself and others for what I felt I that I did not deserve. It’s a long journey and sometimes I don’t know whether I will make it or not but God keeps nudging me along with awesome Christians such as all of you in Proverbs 31 ministries. Many Blessings to all!!

I’m living in the land of unforgivingness and I’m tired. My world starting spinning out of control because of a business adventure my husband had with my best friend and it went terribly wrong. I’m still angry at my husband for losing my friend, along with another who had an involvement. I want to forgive and move on but I’m stuck!

Would so love to read Suzie’s book. Had the opportunity to hear Suzie speak at a women’s conference in Winston Salem NC on Saturday 3/2/13. I felt like my cup had runneth over when I left the conference. I know without a doubt that i can do all things through Christ including having forgiveness.

I recently became divorced not by choice. However, through a similar childhood like Renee’s, I believe that I pushed my husband to the point of giving up on me and believing I could never change. Through the last year, I have learned to let go of my past and forgive but the hurt of being rejected by my husband is something that I am still holding onto. I think this book could be a great help for me at this point in my life. Thank you for all you do at Proverb 31 Ministries. God Bless you all!!

What timing! I am currently struggling to cope with my horrible childhood and trying to forgive my parents for allowing it to happen. My husband walked out on our family about 9 years ago and I am still trying to deal with that. I would love to read Suzie’s book and hopefully begin to enjoy the freedom that true forgiveness has to offer.

I am probably the only man to comment on this, but I love my wife enough to do this for her. My wife has been dealing with a lot of issues her whole life. She lost her sister a couple of years ago. Her sister was only 37 or 38 and she took her life. It was just after thid that her Mother’s health started to get worst. Her mother then had a sever stroke and has lost the use of her right side. She has never really had what you would call a close relationship with her mom, and now it is even more difficult. My wife is dealing with depression and anxiety and does not like to leave the house. We are both christians and I know that GOD can help her if she would seek HIM out. I think this book could help her to see that she is not alone and encourage her is seek the LORD.

Forgiveness is my One Word for this year. I went through a divorce last year. My ex was having an affair and has never expressed any regret or remorse. That has caused me much anger after the fact. I need to forgive him for walking out on our family. Not for him, but for me. The bitterness is consuming. My kids are dealing with their own issues of forgiving their dad, but I can’t help them when I’m holding on to so much resentment. We are struggling financially but he does only what he absolutely has to for the kids. They see him shopping and spending on his girlfriend and don’t understand because he never did that with us. He doesn’t spend any extra time with them even though he lives 10 mins away. I can’t tell them how to forgive the continual slights and hurts they are going through. I can’t see how I will move on in a positive way until I can forgive.

I have the same exact story as you do Renee…I found that out as my husband and I were going through your book about confidence in God…
I had to change the female words around so he didn’t feel left out. But I’ve been so mean to my husband and we haven’t even been married a year yet! That’s what scares me. Then I read what you wrote about this book and was shocked to realize that the abuse from my father towards my mom, my sisters and brother and me was impacting my married life very negatively. Even worse I still have to deal with the Abuse because my husband and I live with my parents and NOT out of choice. We can’t afford to be on our own and my dad still emotionally abuses us all. So both the past and the present affects me and the way I treat others! I keep saying I forgive and bless my dad and pray for him all the time. But recently I’ve been having nightmares about him physicAlly abusing me. I want to love and forgive and I try so hard to receive Gods love but it doesn’t seem to work. When I read my email today I knew that this book is Gods will for me and so many others.

Robin try Darlene Quinn Blog Emerging from Broken she is also on FB I think some of that will help you I am understanding some of my feelings through reading her post and blog. The abuser most always turns the guilt to the victim

This book may be exactly what I’ve been looking for!…I have been struggling with forgiveness in my recent divorce. Forgiving the husband who betrayed me and forgiving my self; did I do enough to try to save the marriage, did I trust the Lord enough, did I expect to much.

So many feelings and trying to get my heart and my head on the same page.

If the book help’s one person or changes one moment for someone then it will be worth the time Suzie spent writing it and we take to read it.

How timely and appropriate this e-mail was and the publication of this book which I really need!
I have been struggling with forgiveness in relationship with my daughter and her new husband along with other family relationship in which I feel abused and neglected. I say I forgive but the thoughts resurface. How do I bannish them?

I have signed up for the study but can’t afford the book right now. Would love to win a copy. I definitely struggle with forgiveness with my step daughter who has continually caused problems between by husband and myself for 12 years!! She is now 18 and still up to the same old games!

I find myself trying to help others while working through my own STUFF. Maybe if I understood how God got me here…I can help others find their way out of their STUFF as well. Unforgivness is a HUGE problem today. It is truly Satans bait to trap our lives, keeping us from Gods plan.

I KNOW I need this. As life’s trauma unfolds on each of us, Satan can bring a weight so crippling upon our thoughts and hearts. I have struggled through a variety of issues listed in these comments above. My body is in constant pain due to the sins I find hard to let go of, thinking I ‘deserve’ the consequences. I have accepted Jesus, I know God loves me and I need to stop taking back the baggage I leave at the cross. Thank you all for your ministry, it means so much to know I am not alone as I walk toward God. Blessings.

I’ve been reading your daily post and Please I would love to receive your book for my daughter because My daughter is going thur a difficult time with her ex-husband and needs help in forgiving and help with her children knowing that the LORD is in control of her circumstances, Letting go of bitterness and learning how to trust God in all things, she would benifet from your book tremendously, Please find it in your heart to help her, “AnUnBurdened Heart, Finding Freedom in Forgiveness.
Thank You In Christ,
Dot

I would love to have a copy of the book. From growing up with an overly strict father, to marrying and then divorcing an abusive husband, my heart has taken a beating. I want to be a forgiver. I don’t want to be bitter and unforgiving because it only eats at my spirit. I want to get beyond my circumstances and live knowing that Jesus loves me for me.

Wow, this is exactly what I need! Renee it would appear that our stories are very similar. I embrace the hurts that God brings to the fore front and it takes a long time in this healing journey. God is still helping me through this, I take one step forward and two back it would seem.
Thank you for this opportunity, sounds like God wants healing for us all!

I would like to be considered for this free book. I have been struggling for the past year trying to understand why I was always criticizing a wonderful husband and father – I even thought to myself that he is a better man than what my dad was. It is encouragement from God that He knows my needs and even wrote a book to help me thru this issue in my life. Thank you so much for providing words for my silent prayers – prayers that I couldn’t even find words and could only moan my sorrows.

Renee, Thank you for this post and the story of forgiveness. My Jesus Sister and friend and I are building a ministry to help women in crisis, and this book will be critical to our ministry. Winning two of them would be a wonderfule blessing for us as we struggle to put together the resources for the ministry.

My thoughts are; In some areas I find it really hard to forgive. Though i will say I forgive and mean it at the moment eventually I realize that haven’t. Especially when the person continue to hurt my children in an effort to hurt me.

Wow this such a confirmation for me I have been dealing with issues from my past and my family keeps telling me I have not forgiven , I have forgiven just choose not to allow myself to get caught up in all the drama and basicly I have strayed myself away from the situation.I do believe I have took the frustration out on my husband. I have tried to just be a part of my moms life but it is very hard I have tried over the years there was really bad things my stepfather did that she totally ignored and allowed him to control our relationship with her and as I get older I realize she chose a monster over her children and lived with him until he committed suicide and they talk about him being in heaven ,and she had a child with this man she allowed him and his brother to molest my baby sister and did nothing about it he beat I mean litterly beat my third sister and she put her in a car and dropped off at friends in another state because they knew the neighbors called DHS so for over 20 something years I had to live with this knowledge and they say as you get older you get wiser. For us to have a relationship with her it has to be his terms. I am told I am the crazy one and I need to see a phsychiatrist and Me & my older sister she is pentecostal she believes if she did not see or hear with her eyes it did not happen but they are all on PROZAC & ZANAX except her & I. OH they say it is ok because when his brother got thrown in prison for molesting 6 yes 6 more little girls (that is when he committed suicide a month after his brothers sentence ) so those 6 little girls could have been saved the other 6 I am sure there were more 7 counting my sister. There is so much more to this. It’s hard for me to comprehend my mom nonaction about all the bad things and live life like it never happened. I have been reading a blog by Darlene Quinn Emerging from Broken and I am thinking cutting ties with my mom might be the best & health for me and my spiritual being.

I would to receive this resource for myself and others. Letting go if a painful past and memories is difficult. His awesome it would be to not have to carry the weight any longer and learn to give it All to Jesus.

I have recently been giong through the process of forgiving offenses from my past. It has been such a freeing experience! I would love to read this book and see what other miraculous things God will do in my life!

Forgiveness, I understand that forgiveness will bring as much peace as to the person forgiven, that we can move on and be blessed by this. Rationally I get it, but sometimes my heart is so broken I don’t know how and where to begin and the hurt can seem too big that I would love some encouragement and to be shown ways to move through this wonderful and cleansing process. Thank you.

As a new Christian I am finding more and more areas in my life that I have tried to control to make up for a lack of something in my past, God. I have found myself, after 10 years of marriage, not really knowing my husband anymore for the man he is because I have tried to control him and make him into the man I want him to be. I grew up with years of listening to fighting, emotional distance and never really feeling like I belonged in my family. My hope would be through this journey to forgive my parents for the past and allow my husband to be the wonderful man he is and not look to him to create a desired bandaid for my past.

Wow, I need to read this book. It is difficult to forgive and really let it go when you have been done wrong in many ways, many times. I know we are told to forgive 7×70 times and then some but it is hard and you never know when those feelings are going to coming spiraling back.

I have been praying for God to help me forgive my mom for not being the mom I deserved, for not being a mom at all really. I don’t know how to let go of that hope. My mom never told me she loved me until I was 30 years old, was never a nurturing person, was very selfish, physically and verbally abusive, controlling, and manipulative, and still is to this day. I think this book is my answer to prayer and will bring me the breakthough I have longed for and will help me let go and forgive my mom.

This story is very familiar to me. I have been trying to create a perfect Family, Marriage ,Life ever since I can remember. While reading this post I began to feel convicted. I need to forgive but, it is so hard, I really just want to run.Lord give me the strength to HOPE in you.

Some dayd the memories come back. Pack with a punch, driving emotions, bringing bsck the nightmares. I realize I still have work to do. Digging out the roots of bitternesd, hurt and anger. I want to be more like Jesus, forgiving, loving and kind to those who caused me the greatest pain.I know I cannot do this alone.

My parents are both gone now…….Dad almost 22 years and Mom just 3 years. The story is too long to tell but I didn’t grow up in a loving home. I didn’t have good counsel from my parents or a good relationship. Two years before my Dad died, he and I made peace. I have been grateful for that. Mom is a different story. In her latter years…….about 8 of them……..I was her main caregiver. The last few years was a joint effort between with my brother and his wife. I was a child that my Mom never wanted to have. I was #5 out of 7 and not welcome after having my older brother in school. I took away her short lived freedom and put her back into bondage. We never had a good relationship while I was growing up and I was out of the house by the time I was 17 with a child and a husband of my own. When I was 30, after being married for 13 years to a man who mentally and emotionally abused me ( and physically abused our children), I had remarried a wonderful man who my Mom didn’t like. A couple of years later she felt the need to unburden herself to me about not wanting me and how she cried when she found out she was pregnant. I understand the position of not wanting more children after having 4 but I’ve never understood why she had to tell me except to hurt me. I wasn’t surprised at her announcement………it answered a lot of questions about my childhood and feeling unwanted and rejected. With the help Jesus and my husband of 27 years, I have been able to work through and forgive them both. I know that these are things I will never forget on this side of heaven. After spending so many years helping to take care of my Mom and doing it even when she wasn’t nice, I am thankful that I can live regret free knowing I did everything I could for her. I would love to read this book to hopefully make certain that every nook and cranny of my heart is clear of any hurt and bitterness.

I would love to win a copy of this book. If I don’t, I’ll still add it to my reading list. I grew up in a broken family (divorce) and have so much deep rooted emotion from that experience. Every time I think I’ve overcome it and am better for having gone through it, something happens that pulls those emotions up from the deepest, most raw places within. And I’m shocked by my response! It would be nice to “let it go” once and for all. 🙂

I received this email and I know without a doubt that this was God’s message to me this morning. On the drive in to work I was just talking to HIM about how I am struggling so much right now. I am the person described in this email. I am hurt and angry all the time. I feel I have become a mean, critical, demanding, controlling women and I deeply hate myself right now. I have issues with my husband they I cannot forgive. Things he did that have caused us financial hardship and doing without things each month and it will be there for at least 3 years. I know the right thing to do is forgive and seems like I do then each month when I can’t go to the gorcery store or can’t get my hair cut or can’t get the medicine I need I get mad and hurt and unforgiving all over again. Then I look and realize I just said I I I I I then I hate myself more. I would love to have this book to heal me and my family but I have no funds to buy it and that makes me mad and the circle starts over again. Seems like there are so many people in my exact same shoes. Why is there so much hurt in living each day. And all in all in should be nothing. But how do you get from knowing how it should be and what you should do and controlling your mind and heart enough to actually get to that point?

I would love to use Suzie, through this book, to continue on my own sometimes very hard, healing journey. I’m not hurt and angry, just numb right now. Sometimes so much so that I have a hard time letting God’s voice come through.

As I sit here and read what YOU wrote, I weep in disbelief that those are someone else’s words, rather than my own. Sometimes it is really hard to believe that anyone lives or feels exactly the same pain or emotion that you do. This touches home so deeply. I think I have found a way to start forgiving others, but how do I ever forgive MYSELF???

Forgiveness has been very difficult for me. I lost my way for a while – and was uncertain about my future. My husband, who was a minister, left me for another woman. We had 4 small children, which the two youngest children were in diapers. Being raised in the church I was taught about forgiveness, but when it came time to forgive – I just didn’t know how. All my hopes and dreams for our future were destroyed, and I didn’t know how to get out of the dark hole I was in. There are days now when something will spark my memory and take me back to the pain, rejection and lies that I have lived with for so many years. I don’t want anything in life to hold me back, and especially the root of unforgiveness, which I know for a fact will drain the life and joy completely out of you.

I need this book. I am struggling with unforgiveness. I hate to hold grudges because I know it only burdens me. I used to be so forgiving even when people never realized or admitted their wrong. I know as Christians we are to forgive others and ourselves so we can be forgiven but my new circumstances isn’t permitting that. I was abused psychologically, mentally, verbally, emotionally, and physically and now I have signed up for therapy & counseling. I’m trying to figure out why God allowed this to happen on top of trying to find a job, & losing my home. How do I forgive someone who has little remorse for what they did? How do I forgive myself for being weak? My friends abandoned me & I’m really hurt by that. How do I forgive those pple who left when I needed them most? I need forgiveness & healing from it all.

Dear Renee,
Thank you for your post. To be honest, most of the time I will not even acknowledge that an unforgiving heart applies to me! You see, to to most people I show only a positive, encouraging and loving disposition. I have always believed that this WAS me and it was because of the changes following Christ has brought to my life. Over the last several years, most recently and urgently the last two months, my marriage has deteriorated. My husband is very loving -and knows that my pain and criticism stems from unresolved bitterness toward abuse from family members in my past, as well the deaths of two of my young husbands. Your post spoke to me very clearly that I am not alone. I would appreciate and cherish the opportunity to walk alongside Suzie and learn to truly ‘unburden my heart’. God bless you and continue to strengthen you in your ministry, Liz.

I think I need this book more than I realize. Just this morning driving to work long past instances of feeling ridiculed and put down came to mind. Fortunately, the pain originally felt wasn’t there, but the remembrances did bring a small level of pain back to the surface. I want (and need) to be rid of it once and for all.

This sounds like an awesome read. I would love to work through this book with a lovely christian of four months that I have recently started mentoring. Her heart is so on fire for the Lord. Her conversion to christianity has caused her family to be quite hostile towards her, and she is dealing with past childhood hurts and how to be loving and forgiving and Christlike while working through the pain.

I think this book would be very helpful for my mother. She is 79 and was raised in extreme poverty. There was alcoholism, and abuse. She was molested when she was in first grade. She carries so much anger and is distrustful of everyone. Last summer, she had open heart surgery. Now it seems as if she has a second chance. I only wish she could let go of the past, and forgive those who hurt her so badly. I would love to be able to give her this book in hopes of helping to facilitate her healing so her last years might be more joy filled than the previous 79.

Knowing this study is right on time, life is but a vapor and I pray all these hurts will be healed through this study before time that can’t be recaptured is gone. Please keep me in prayer and thank you for following God in this study.

I would love to learn how to walk out forgiveness. I’ve had many opportunities to forgive. And it seems it’s easier to forgive worse offenses (though it is still difficult) of people I never have to see again than it is to forgive those who are close to me that I have to regularly forgive and live out life with.

Wow this book sounds amazing…. I struggle with forgiveness because in the surface we say we forgive. But then later things will happen and we are wronged again, and you say ok I forgave you the last time or the last two time, maybe three times but at what point do I say ok you just don’t care who gets hurt…. I know in my heart I’m not perfect and God has never told me thats the last time I forgive you so I can’t either .. So how do I safe guard my heart from not feeling like I deserve this kind of treatment???? That’s why I want the book… I want to hear other testimonials of real people in today’s time that offer forgiveness and receive it too…

forgiveness is hard. Through God’s grace I have learned it is better to forgive than to hold on and hinder our movement forward. I would like a copy of this book not for me but for my daughter who has to move to a place of forgivness just as you did with her Father. I have been seeking a way to help her through this- she is still young and I want and pray she can deal with this issue before she get deep into relationships. This book would be a blessing.

Oh how precious this message is! I am currently walking through a class called, ‘In the Wildflowers’ and this would be a wonderful book to partner with on this journey of forgiveness! Thank you for the opportunity of this blessing!

This sounds like the perfect book for my daughter who is struggling greatly with the issue of forgiveness. As I try and help her navigate relationships in her life, the absence of forgiveness seems toe at the root if each one. She is desperately searching in all the wrong places,and this sounds like it would speak to her heart.
Blessings to all those who opened their hearts and souls to share their stories so we could learn, grow and find healing from them.

Forgiveness is a daily struggle. Which goes along with trust. I am having to do both with my husband after his numerous affairs. Why didn’t I give up? I felt that God was telling me to stay and fight and not give satan the victory. It has been the most painful part of my life and the most time consuming. It is very hard for me to totally forgive and release him from this sin because of the hurt that affected so many.

I would like to win a copy of Suzy’s book because I have dealth with similar struggles of forgiving my biological father for leaving my mother, two brothers, and myself. The impact of abandonment did not occur to me until later in my adult life, but I realize that it has had an effect on how I operate in relationships. I would like to be fully capable, through Christ, of forgiving all those who have hurt me and who have yet to disappoint, abandon, and/or betray me. Without Him, I am not capable of this. With Him, anything is possible.

Would love to have the book. My best friend and I have been walking through a very difficult time over this past year. Me being single and her having a large family made for a very benefical friendship for both. But over the past year, hurtful things have happened and we are not close anymore. It has been a very difficult time for me because I thought I finally had a family and fit in somewhere. I would really like to find healing in this friendship and think this book could help me.

How can I ask God to forgive me if I can’t forgive those that hurt me? I have to remember that you forgive the person not the act. So, I have been trying to pray for the person that hurt me. It is hard.

I would LOVE to have this book. I know I am forgiven and experienced a fabulously unconditional loving family growing up. However once my kids came along I felt like my parents checked out. As a mother of preschoolers that was very hurtful. I’m not sure of all the issues that they were dealing with at the time, but I can tell even 10 years later the relationship is not what I feel like God wants in any of our lives. I don’t want the wall, but I don’t want the hurt either. This book seems like it would be a major blessing to wash over and heal a heart that desperately wants God’s spirit to be flowing from every pour of her body.

Forgiveness is one of those life lessons that I am still learning. Most of the time, I can forgive, but it is the moving on that I struggle with. I have realized that even though I forgive, the hurt is still there. I don’t notice it until something is said or done and that hurt is triggered. Then that hurt turns to bitterness and then to anger. It feels like a never ending cyle.
I want to move on and truly forgive and forget. And I am trying. Gos is working on me. I am making “imperfect progress” as Lysa Terkerust says.

So many times I find myself replaying the old critisisms and putdowns from my past in my head. This almost always ends up with my self-esteem going into the toilet and then I end up sad and upset, sometimes for several days. I also tend to be so hard on myself during these times that my work and other relationships are colored with my sefl-doubts. Perhaps I need to seek God to help me to walk in forgiveness of others and myself so that the old hurts no longer affect me. Sounds like this book would be a great help in this area of my life. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this book and how it will be helpful.

The person I love the most and am closest to has hurt me deeply and I’m struggling to let go of the anger and let God control my situation. This book would be an asset on my journey to forgiveness and healing.

This past year just accept Jesus Christ as my Savior. It’s been amazing and I’ve forgive others but I don’t think I’ve forgiven myself for the mistakes that I made but it’s getting so much easier to let go but I would love this book…

This sounds like a wonderful book written from someone who has been there and can encourage others. I’ve read many books on forgiveness but I think this one might be one I might be able to relate to. I believe I’ve forgiven my brothers and their wives for their treatment of me but at times I wonder if I’ve truly forgiven. I think the world’s view of forgiveness and God’s view of forgiveness are very different and at times it gets confusing. This is a book I may share with others.

I believe this book is going to be a saving grace for my future. I have some life changing events about to happen and I know I’m going to have to forgive some people for things said and done and I’m not real good at forgiving.

Hi Renee.
I would love to win this book because I feel I have areas in my life that I need to forgive that I thought I was already over (losing my mom, sister, illness and dad not being there as I was growing up). Blessings

I would love to win a copy of the book, since it sounds like a message I definitely need to read, process and put into practice with a personal situation of my own. Thanks for offering to share this with others!

Forgiveness is something that can take years. Patience and hardwork are needed. Sometimes when we think we have forgiven we really are not quite there and a new circumstance can bring back old hurts. I would love to get a new perspective on forgiveness.

I have recently been introduced to “The Cleansing Stream” class and information which is about digging up those past hurts and how to deal with them to release them to God. Sounds like this book goes along those same lines. I think this book would make me a better teacher in the CS class just by being able to incorporate it’s ideas along with those I already am aware of. Each of us has so much garbage within us, sometimes that we aren’t even aware of because we’ve pushed it down so far and don’t want to deal with it. Well, ladies, time to dig it out, deal with it, let go and let God handle it.

I SO need this right now! Dealing with trying to forgive a couple friends who have really hurt me lately. This is VERY timely! Hope I can win and get started on forgiving!! Thank you and God Bless! Julie 🙂
Proverbs 3:5-6

This book sounds like it would be an awesome tool to bring forgiveness to ourselves for the things we blame ourselves for and also to help bring forgiveness in our hearts to those who have hurt us. I would love to have a copy of this book for myself and one for my friend who is really struggling with forgiving herself and others from her past that have seriously damaged her self worth. Please send me two copies so that we can get to work on forgiveness. We want to deepen our relationship with the mighty King!

A year ago, I was at the lowest point of my life. I was desparate. God has used your words to make changes
In my heart and start the process of forgiving. I still struggle but my relationship with Christ
Has evolved in a beautiful way. If I were to win a copy of this book, I would share with a friend
Just as you have shared with me. I now can see how God can use terrible events to bring hope to others.
I distinctly remember ‘getting it’ as I felt God’s presence and realizing how God has forgiven me.Amazing Love!

I’m following on a path of “next steps”. God has graciously lead me from here to there and onward by affirming for me when I’m on the right path – something I’m very grateful for because I am a wandering wonderer at times. I opened your email about this book and your forward story caught my heart for God. I’d like to win this book in order to read it as an affirmed next step, but whether I win it or not, I’ll be reading it. Thank you for your openness and thank you for the chance to win.

I want to thank the Lord for a recent experience. I had a rough time in Jr High with a certain teacher. I understood he did me wrong but thought I had moved past that it had been so long. This past week while trying to shuffle through old papers and collections of stuff I ran across this paper. I took it right to the shredder so it could not be brought up again. To my surprise I felt so free that the paper was gone and could never be held against me. I was surprise because I thought I had forgiven him and moved on. With this experience I wondered how many other things may be harbored somewhere in my heart that needed cleaning out. “The Heart is deceitful above all, who can know it” God knows just what we need and when. Thank you for letting me share this. I think it would be awesome to study Susie’s new book!

I’m living in the midst of a struggle that keeps leading me to question, “where do unforgiveness and apathy intersect?” “Is apathy just another word for unforgiveness?” “Will my apathy keep me from God’s promises rgarding honoring my parents ~ specifically my mother?”

I’m a hot mess; living with an unburdened heart seems light years away right now. I’d love the insight offered in this book. Thanks for the opportunity.

Oh I need this book! My entire life has been one betrayal, rejection, abuse after another. I have come to a place of forgivness for my ex-husbands unfaithfulness but continue to have bitterness in my heart for my mothers life long abuse, verbal, physical and emotional. I pray for her daily, haven’t spoken to her in 2 years but she continues to write hateful, hurtful letters. I believe this book would help me find lasting forgivness. God bless all of you at PS 31!!

This season for Lent I am gviing up my “rights” to what I want my husband to do, say or act like. It is a struggle some days more than others. I felt the leading of the Lord in this as I have never given up anything for Lent before. I felt freedom almost instantly but it is still a battle. I know that God will want me to continue on this journey and I think this book might be a part of that.

Forgiveness is crucial. It was only when I forgave my parents for their abuse was I able to be healed. Forgiveness is not absolution. When we forgive our abusers, they still have to answer to God. We just don’t carry the excess baggage around with us. I don’t want to have my parents taking up space in my mind. Have a blessed day. HM at HVC dot RR dot COM

I have been through many things that I have had to forgive including a mother who was abusive and an unfaithful husband. At this time I am struggling to forgive my best friend who killed herself last year. I just keep thinking if she had only called me I would have ran to her side. I would love to win this book to help me.

I can’t wait to read part 2 of A Confident Heart, The Unburdened Heart. Renee, you are the one who taught me forgiveness is so much more than voicing forgiveness. It’s living with acceptance and in order to accept our past, we have to unpack the baggage, try everything back on tossing what we don’t need and realizing there are pieces that are still useful for our today life. Putting words to my past, feeling emotions I packed away a long time ago has been hard and painful and worth it!

I can’t wait to read ACH for a third time with you next month and I can’t wait to add this book as a companion.

Not sure I wanted to read this, it brought up a past I have tried to hide and forget. I have never told anyone what happen to me and really I didn’t know till I was older and realized what things were all about. I still can’t seem to put it in writing yet or even talk about it so please just pray that one day I will be able to forgive and forget.

Thank you so very much for your transparency and sharing your heart along with your own struggles. God is so good. I too lost my father at a young age and felt much pain and abandonment from foster care, adoption, then loss and abuse. I know God still has much to help me forgive and heal through. I am always so encouraged through your posts. I thank God for you. I would truly LOVE to win a copy of Susan’s book. I have commited to simplicity this year and no new purchases to help us get where God wants us financially this year in obedience. Winning one would be awesome as I do not know if the library will have a copy. Thank you for the opportunity. Be abundantly blessed!

I recently, over this past year, met a man, got married, separated, and filed for divorce. I never did follow through with the divorce and we have reconciled, and I am now realizing how my past, and not being forgiving (and also needing healing with deep scars left by that past) has effected my relationship with my husband. I have struggled for years with relationships, always settling for less, trying to make up for my father never being there for me because his alcohol was more important. Trying to find someone to build me up, because when I was growing up I was always being torn down by people verbally. I have been sexually abused by a relative for years, as long as I could remember, finally ending when I was a tween. I was told it was “okay”, it was “our secret”. I have had relationships involving verbal, emotional, and physical abuse, always thinking “this is the one”. I have felt for a few years that I have forgiven them all, but know SOMETHING is not right. I want to know how to COMPLETELY let go and let God, to find what that SOMETHING is that is missing in my process of forgiving people in my past.

Forgiveness, is something I have been strugling this last 10 years with my ex-hunsband and his wife( my ex-friend). I say everyday to God that I forgave them because of his love to me and because he forgave me in the first place, yet somedays Is so hard when a storm from my ex’s come to my direction trying to destroy me. Just recentlyI enjoyed a group of ladies(bible study) that very much I believe that God put as together, for a reason that we don’t know, yet we know that was his plan on putting us together. Hope I could win this book and I could share iy with my friends so we can read together on our bible study.
I am enjoyind your book “A confident Heart”, this book has been following me as I believe was God telling me to read. So finally I got it and I am enjoying very much, thank you.

Forgiveness and forgetting are a tough pair. I have a very hard time letting go. I would hope to glean what the Lord wants me to go forward with. I have been trying to make myself a better person by reaching out to a Christian woman who will help hold me accountable. This book would also help.

I thought I had gone through the process of forgiveness when I re-married but I found that there is still the lingering doubts and insecurity that tries to bring me into a “poor-me” state. It is wonderful to know that the Lord has given me a second chance to make this marriage one that glorifies Him. But the enemy knows I have not allowed the baggage from my first marriage to be cast off and resolutely scourged from my being. This book sounds like one that will lead me to full deliverance and forgiveness of the past. I look forward to reading it.

i would love to win this book for myself and my Mom! Forgiveness is so important and i know it will bring us closer to the LORD and to those that we need to forgive and break the cycle of unforgiveness and bitterness. Thank you for the opportunity to win this book!

Your testimony about you and JJ hits so close to home. “Its never enough” were words commonly used in my own marriage. And even though I can now confess that I was looking to my husband to fulfill what was missing coming from a broken home, I still have a hard time with forgiving not only him but myself. You see after 3 years of trying to “fix” my marriage my husband had an affair. Possibly 2. We attempted to repair a now even more fractured marriage only for him to walk out on me and our 2 boys for being “too hard” to deal with. He’s been gone for almost 5 months with an almost non-existent relationship with our children. He says he needs his “individuality”. Everyday he decides to stay gone is another day I struggle to forgive for the unsurmountable amount of pain he has caused on our family. And yet I know even though no one deserves to be betrayed by an affair I struggle with forgiving myself for my part in this mess.

I would love to share this with my 21 year old daughter. At 15 her relationship with her father ended and as a result she carries so much pain and anger. This sounds like just the book she needs. Thank you for the opportunity to win a copy.

I carry around the burden of insecurity, and therefore become overly sensitive to comments from others, especially from my husband. To consciously and deliberately take the time to pour this out to God and bask in His healing is what I need. To remember and know that He loves me for who I am. I don’t need to prove my worthiness.

Wow this sounds exactly like what I need. I’ve been working with a counselor on this very issue and I’ve been afraid that I won’t have the strength and time to put into this. Renee, you make it sound like something I CAN do. Thank you for your encouragement and opportunity to win the book!

I need this book, I have realized over the last few months that I have so much in my life that is affecting my abilities to be a wife, a mom, and a friend. I just don’t know where to begin. I hope to be chosen for this book so that I am begin the journey to helping myself.

I would love this book! I was wounded by a previous church. I thought I had put it behind me but recently something happened. That has made me realize that the wound is still there under the surface after all these years. It has caused me to be afraid to connect with not only people but the church itself.

I am presently reading A Confident Heart, and this would be a wonderful companion book for me. When she said she was” trying to create her own happily ever after” that hit the nail on the head for me. I’ve spent my whole life trying to do that and then end up being disappointed when nobody can meet my expectations (especailly myself). I so desperately need this book and would love to win it!

I have a friend whose husband has left her for the second time and I believe this book would help her tremendously! She is a christian, but is not where she needs to be. I have been where she is and I know that without the Lord to heal and help me thru the pain and forgiveness, I would not be where I am today. I would love to have a copy to read and pass along to my friend!

I have been a Christain for many years. Although my life is nothing like it was before I trusted Christ as my savior, I still have much to learn and lots of growing up to do. I’ve felt guilty whenever the subject of forgiveness comes up. I have felt so entitled to the hurt and unforgiveness I’ve grasped so tightly to my heart. I know I should forgive because I’ve been forgiven so much. I am reminded daily as I read about and pray to God – I can trust Him and his plan(s) for my life.

This Thursday will be my son’s birthday. Our 2-1/2 year old daughter was strong willed but didn’t stretch us as parents like our son would. He was unique, artistic, loving, fearful, and troubled. He died of an overdose 6-1/2 years ago… was only 21… was my baby still… and his death would change us individually as well as a family. We struggle yet with what we are without him. I have come to understand that God’s ways are not our ways. I will never understand. I will never ask why. I am sure it is God who has sustained me throughout the turbulent times that have followed. I am sure of His love for me.. His love for my Kyle.. and His desire to help and not hurt me. I trust Him – every day.

This is why I trust when He tells of my need to forgive. I just don’t know how to do it. I don’t even know how to want to do it. It sounds like this book would be a great companion for me to walk through this in a Godly way.

I would love this book. I actually teach a class on forgiveness and it may give me different perspectives to teach from. I also struggle in the area of my husband…. I do find myself irritated (bitter and snappy too) with him often and maybe this will help me get past this and move forward and hopefully, help others to move forward as well.

Rene:
I would love to read this book. My husband tells me that
I am angry all the time. Maybe I am, I need to delve
Deeper into my past and see if there is really something
There that I need to resolve. I really need to do this before
It destroys our marriage.
God bless you!

I would love to win the book as I also knows the hard ache of married..After 25 years of marriage my husband just walked out the door..I still don’t know why..I have seen him once at court….I still feel hurt and I hate him at times..I am losing my house and have no place to go all because of him..He does not pay support and I want something done..Lot of anger and bitterness..How can I forgive him ???? He was my life…He has been gone for 3 years this coming May…I have gone for counceling and it seems like its not working..Maybe I want to continue to hate him and be angry all the time..I don’t know..I am tired of crying over this..God bless you!@

I have struggled with forgiveness my entire life. I have come to know that through prayer I find peace. A peace that can only be found as I am able to truly give my pain to Him. I may never forget but it is possible to forgive…when it feels like I am holding back…I just keep on praying…but there are times when I just don’t let it go…it’s hard when the hurt is deep….

I have struggled with forgiveness my entire life. I have come to know that through prayer I find peace. A peace that can only be found as I am able to truly give my pain to Him. I may never forget but it is possible to forgive…when it feels like I am holding back…I just keep on praying…but there are times when I just don’t let it go…it’s hard when the hurt is deep….I keep trying to post but it says it is a duplicate. I have never posted here before…

I have been able to forgive a lot throughout my life (I am 65 now) but somethings have not been that easy to let go of. I have, overtime been able to put them aside. However I have now been struggling for 3 years now with an anger and sometimes intense hatred that I have had a hard time getting past. You see, our daughter was in an abusive marriage. She was taking pain meds for a chronic condition that eventually was identified and that she needed surgery for. She began using her pain meds and alcohol to cope with her situation. Her husband started to become abusive to our Grandson, who was 6 at the time so we assisted our Dtr to leave him. She left him multiple times but he always convinced her to go back. When our 2nd Grandson was 6 mos. old she tried to leave again and moved in with us. Her drinking was out of control, her anger directed at us as her husband began working on her again. CPS became involved and they believed his lies about us and gave him custody of the kids. She left and went back to him, however he was plotting to take the kids away from. 1 1/2 years ago, just before Christmas he assaulted her and took off with the kids. He left her destitute. She’s still struggling to turn her life around and has not been able to see her sons since he left. (When he left he left all his belongings as well as the boys belongings so this was well planned with help from his family). We have not seen our Grandsons for almost 3 years. One is 10 now and the other is 3 1/2. I pray daily for their safety and return & try to pray for their dad but I find the unwanted feelings are a great barrier. I would love a chance to win this book because maybe it would help me to let go and forgive and overcome the heaviness and guilt I feel for not being able to forgive him & his family.

Sounds like an awesome book. Like so many others I struggle with forgiveness…not only in forgiving others but in forgiving myself.. This book will be an excellent tool for so many people. Would love to win it.

I completely saw myself in what you wrote about your attitude toward your husband. I too come from a broken home and even before my parents divorce , I had no relationship with my dad. He was never around and when he was he was very controling, critical and emotionally distant. My relationship with my dad was so nonexistent that from a very young age I never called him dad but called him by his first name. There are so many things that I never got to experience like having my dad walk me down the aisle. All I ever dreamed of as a little girl was for a knight in shining armor to ride in and we would live happily ever after. I came into our marriage with a lot of expectations and a lot of baggage and deep wounds from my childhood. I truly need to be able to forgive and get past this. Not only has it affected my marriage but it has hindered my faith because I look at God as a father figure and since I had a very negative view of what a father was from my earthy father, I have a hard time trusting God and believing He truly loves me.

I really hope to win a copy of this book because I have been struggling with this area of forgiveness with my best friend who has hurt me really deeply this past year. I’ve come to a point of realizing that I NEED to forgive but the one question that I keep coming back to is: HOW? I really want to get past this season and hope to get to freedom from this hurt and pain.

I’m well aware of how our spiritual health is reflected in our bodies – I’ve been battling pains, headaches, etc but maybe it’s from not forgiving- even though I said I have- have I really? Is it a process rather than a line in the sand? My feathers get ruffled whenever I think about all the manipulative games my father played all my life- the ‘debt’ he recorded in a little book. The burden he put on my shoulders when my mother needed to go into a nursing home due to dementia & Parkinson’s. Instead of helping him with it all- he washed his hands of it & told me I had to handle it. He can’t hear well & won’t wear his hearing aids- so that’s an excuse to walk away? My mother passed away a year ago January & it still hurts about the whole thing.

Wow could this be written for me? There is so much and so many people in my life I need to forgive starting at 3yrs old with my molester. If this is a guide to do that I am willing to try and forgive, I just need some type of guidance and believe this is that guidance for me

I would love this book! I have been reading dozens of books for self-help. My first marriage was full of cheating, sexual abuse, and verbal abuse. I carried this over to my second marriage (thought I was over the first) with mistrust, suspicion, and not being able to let down my guards. He brought enough “baggage” also, in that we have a rocky marriage. I also..have felt a victim to my circumstance…angry even with God. My husband lost his job and had to move 2 hours away to college. I started working at home because a job that I held for 17 years turned extremely stressful. Was overworked (they split my job in 3 when I left). My supervisors daughter wanted my job. She got it in the end. Feeling threatened and treated unfairly and talking to the CEO, was told that my supervisor had been telling him that I was not doing my job. I had to leave. I did not know isolation would lead me to depression. Isolation was horrible for me…losing ego (what I call the black hole), not knowing who I was anymore (loss of self), and a horrible feeling of mourning that has been ongoing for 3 years. I feeling as thought my heart and soul is longing for something or mourning something, in which I cannot define. I also deal with heart problems, as at 40 was found to have many holes in my heart and head to have the entire atrial septum removed and replaced with Bovine (in which I thought my “wipe-outs” and palpitations was only due to extreme work stress and ultimately…..total burnout. I also was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. This condition being a huge stressor….as I worked (medical transcription ) in pain…and paying our bills was depending on me being able to work…..even if in severe pain. I crashed. Too many changes. Felt no support from my husband. Angry at God (for this need to forgive/ask forgiveness). Angry at my past work (need to forgive and let go). Mourning. Pain. No feeling of self. Feeling of no purpose. Loss of ego – completely. Burned out. Stressed out. Angry at my husband for no support (need to forgive) – he is dealing with his own stressors and sense of no importance and loss of self. Trying to help myself (because I cannot afford counseling). I have found excellent books, and must say that your book (Renee) had been a stepping stone from getting out of horrible depression. I was sobbing constantly. I cried over anything. I cried without reason. Just felt that horrible “emptiness” that I could not label. I would love to win this book! I appreciate all help!

This sounds like a book I need to read. I’m in the middle of divorce and I know I do not want to have any unforgiveness when this is all done. (Or now for that matter.) But it’s so hard to know the difference between allowing myself grace to feel emotions that God knows I must feel to heal, and not sinning with unforgiveness. I would love to receive a free copy.

Wow—-did you think there would be so many !?!? It must be a great topic for not just me–but a lot of women. I thought it was special for me!!!! I would love to read this book and would like to live every day with an “unburdened heart” Thank you so much for the way you minister!!

I have to learn to walk in forgiveness everyday & God is the only way my marriage can stay to gether for ours & our sons sake. Theusage videosre r a lot of abuse & death & infidelity in my past I need sommer some 12 help me work thru in jesuname just don’t

I always know when God is speaking to me because he wakes me up very early when I can’t be distracted by my day. When I got up this morning I knew God wanted me to dig into His word but what I wasn’t expecting was to find myself on your blog reading your devotion that could have been written about me! I recently accepted the fact that I myself was the problem to my marriage. Notthat my husband is blameless, just that I’m not giving him the credit he deserves for trying. I’ve kept him in the his past, the man that caused me so much pain by his betrayal, not the man God has changed his heart to be. I want to move past this & I trust there are blessings that will come from that. I need to realize if I want change I myself will have to be that change. I also thought of my sister, who also experienced the same kind of betrayal I did, only to find herself alone & divorced. This book could not only benefit me & my family, but my sister & her family as well. She doesn’t have a personal relationship with Jesus, like many of my other siblings, but I’m hoping she will someday. Thank you for opening up your heart to help me find mine! May God continue to Bless you as you continue to Bless others.

Thank you so much for sharing this, Renee. 🙂
“You see, years as a child in a broken home with a broken heart had led to a significant sense of loss and deep disappointment. But I had never processed, grieved or let go of what I thought I deserved yet didn’t have.” These statements have really caused me to think. You see, I grew up with an alcoholic father, and my mom was a pillar for us five siblings during those years. I have always been fearful about things, attributing it to the scary times in my childhood. Is there more to this fear than I realize? Thank you for helping me to consider these things and go to God with them in prayer. God bless you!

I need help. I have been working on forgiving my parents for all the wrongs they have done to me and my silings for years. For the first time in my life I am experiencing a positive relationship with my mother who was physically and emotionally abusive to me.
I am a mother of a soon to be one year old and I currently live the child’s father though we are unwed. Our son is our mircacle baby as doctors didn’t think we could get pregnant and it wasn’t until an hour after he proposed to me did we find out that I was. We have since called off the engagement, though I still wear my ring, and we are barely holding on to our relationship. We have both created problems by not being fully honest with eachother as well as with ourselves.
In the recent months I have found my way back to God and have began to truely walk WITH him even though I have been saved since I was a child. And when the true fear of losing my spouse became realized I realized how much I had been feeding the problems by not recognizing my part in them. By showing him how things could be corrected if he did this or that, but not by looking at what I needed to do to correct my own faults.
God is showing me know that many of the problems I have had at home with my spouse are the same ones I have had within relationships at work, with friedns and with family.
I want so badly to forgive my parents and my spouse for the hurt they have done to me. I feel like even though my spouse has done his fair share of wrongs I helped to get us to a place where he could because I was pushing my past experiences onto him. So afraid of reliving my parents lives I have created the very life I was running from. I need to learn to be me.

This is the season I’m in right now. I’ve been here for about 3 years. I’m working through my past also and come to a stand still. I know there are some things left unfinished and I so want to get to the other side. I think this book will get me back on the right track. Forgiveness is so hard to give to others, but even harder to give yourself.

I just screamed out loud as I read this. A parallel of myself, only difference is Ive been in this for 15 years and I believe Ive caused alot more damage. BUT I’m on my way to a diffferent me. God woke me up again so its not to late.

From your book Confident Heart, I learned to forgive myself ….. forgive myself for ever being born. I grew up with a mother who repeatedly told me I was a mistake God made – and worse I believed her. I hated myself. As a little girl, I use to write in crayon to please let me die to make my mother happy. I tried all my life to be good enough to love. Then through a terrific Bible study group, I began to accept that God did love me. I had always believed there was a God but just knew there was no way He could love me. I fell more and more in love – a love relationship – with Him as I read and absorb the book Confident Heart. Now I as I journey into an ever deeper love relationship with Him – and share this love with others – want to learn to truly forgive others as well as myself.

Thank you for sharing to all of us so we can come to know this unbelievable Love He feels for each of us…..a Love that is indescribable yet felt so personally. He really does Love me !

I would love to win a copy of this book!
I’m a 34 year old mother of 4 amazing children and have an amazing husband who loves me unconditionally as well. My whole life I’ve struggled with a father who decided he no longer wanted me at the age of 8. I never felt as though I was angry or needed to forgive him but for some reason I could never let go of the pain and in turn I’ve never truly been happy with my life. I’ve started to embark on a journey this past year that heavenly father has brought me to. I’m not always finding it easy, but I know that in order to enjoy all the blessing that he has given me, I have to learn to forgive the past with all that it brings. I don’t want to be stuck in this rut of self loath and pain anymore. I don’t think its a mistake that up until yesterday I just stumbled upon 31 proverbs ministries, I think this is part of God’s plan for me. I know that this book will help me along this journey in my life!

I am walking with a young mom with 3 small children as she walks through a most painful separation ..heading to divorce…he husband has done so many painful and hurtful things and she is becoming more filled with anger and resentment….so much I forgiveness is building….this book sounds like it would be very helpful…thanks for the opportunity to win this….

I have felt the discouragement and pain that comes from a broken abusive family. After my dad passed away, I tried to deal with part of it by taking a grief course. I know that God has better things for me, but just like the forward, I take those painful things to heart and feel unworthy. Thank you for helping others through their tough times in life.

I would love this opportunity to win this book. Just by reading the little bit I did I can see myself in it as I am sure so many other women do. This would be a great to read since I just recently finished a confident heart and I am going to hold a book study of my own on Confident hear, it would be great to share this book as well!

Hi just like so many other woman here I would love the opportunity to read this book as I believe it would be so freeing for us as husband and wife but also in my other relationships as well. I have been the victim of abuse and other things and just going through the process of forgivenessI believe would allow me to have better relationships. thank you for all you do in your ministry. I love your devotions. thank you

I would like to win a copy of this book; however, even if I dont, what you wrote in this forward really spoke to me – “I took the first step by acknowledging my pain and giving myself permission to feel it.” I have felt the same way for so long, as if it’s almost wrong to feel pain. Thank you for sharing your experiences.

I really thought I had forgiven and moved on from the past of problems with an alcoholic father , but in reading your review of this book I realize that I have just buried a lot of it. I’m not sure how to do this and would love to read this book for help!!

I was reading this and thinking “are they talking about me?” I keep trying to convince myself that I’ve gotten over my mom giving me up at age 6 to my dad and abusive step mom, but I haven’t. I talk the talk, but it’s amazing how those things don’t just disappear. I bury loads of emotions about my childhood. I keep “secrets” if you will because I can’t bring myself to even tell my husband of 16 years what happened to me. All this does carry over into my marriage and at times my husband pays the price. I would love to win this book so maybe I can put all of it behind me.

There are so many hurting people that could use, more than I could?, maybe. But, I would like a chance to check out this book. I will happily pass it along to the number of people I know that could also use it when I am finished with it. 🙂

I thought I had lived through enough hurt and nothing could ever surpass the hurt that I have lived through, by the Grace of God, I have. Two failed marriages, where the ex husbands were womanizers, alcoholics and yes, they cheated on me. Right now, I am dealing with a marriage that I believed whole heartedly and still do, that was meant to help me move along and see the good in people and most of all a marriage. When I met my husband almost eight years ago, he was everything I could possibly imagine… a hard working self employed man, his children were his life when he had them, never made plans outside of them and didn’t even introduce me to them until months had passed by before making sure that we were on a right path of a good relationship. He protected them. He was and still is not a drinker, he goes to work and comes straight home. When we married and bought our own home, because of my job, I had to have the internet and my computer, (something he didn’t have at his house when I met him). Things went along fine for a couple of years, then unfortunately, life brought severe changes when I went through menopause and I immediately sought out help, he never complained through the process while I searched for help, but my mood swings definitely placed a wedge and he started distancing himself and that’s when he became addicted to the internet. Since then, even though he makes every effort to do things together, the conversations, the closeness dwindled to hardly none. No validation that he was still in love with me, that I still looked beautiful, none of the caring and endearing words a wife looks for from her husband. He felt like I was asking too much of him. I have since found emails and pictures of other women. I know in my heart he hasn’t had a physical affair, but I do believe there have been a few emotional ones. I stand strong by my vows and God is leading me to pray over him daily, nightly and every time I fell God stirring within me. I know that God has given us authority over casting out and rebuking the devils work, so I’ve been praying exactly that…. My burdens are heavy, but I believe the real man I married is still within him. On many occasions, I blame myself for my not handling my menopause better, or that my insecurities got the best of me… I would love to have the chance to read your book. I feel like I have forgiven him, but many times, the hurt crawls back in…..

I would love to walk through and out of the path unforgiveness and hurt have driven me. My God deserves my best; my husband and children do too!
I would love to win a copy of Suzie’s book. I am refreshed and renewed by reading stories of other Christian’s triumphing over the sin that comes naturally to man.

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