My sex life is hopeless. My first boyfriend was more experienced than me and dumped me after three months because he could not bring me to orgasm. I was determined not to make the same mistake twice, so since I started a new relationship last year, I have always faked orgasms, even though we love each other. It takes me a long time to come and, although I enjoy sex, I don't feel confident in bed. Is it too late to tell my boyfriend that I have been dishonest? I can't help feeling sexually frustrated and resentful.

You must be a good actress, and you are not alone. Many women fake orgasms because they feel pressure to time their sexual responses to coincide with their partner's climax.

But you deserve to feel better about yourself sexually. Try introducing new techniques that may satisfy you and enliven your boyfriend's interest. Teach him to stimulate your clitoris during intercourse. Or start stimulating yourself while he thrusts (explain it as a greedy wish to have even more pleasure), which should give you a better shot at coming and may also be a turn-on for him.

What about using sex toys, such as a clitorally focused vibrator, which can add to your erotic play and provide you with the more direct stimulation you probably need?

Don't be afraid to give your boyfriend gentle feedback to help improve his technique; men usually appreciate learning how to please women better. Get to know and enjoy your body. Then teach your man.

• Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders.