I'm bisexual and I think I need to focus on seeking a female partner as opposed to both genders.I am still open, but, I have problems.

I find it difficult to work out if my feelings towards someone who is male is sexual or is just deep-family friendship.I've had situations where I read things wrong and assumed I was in love with a man but in fact I just valued them deeply as a good friend.

Because of this fear of being mixed up, I tend to distance myself from socially interacting with men generally.

I think the way to resolve this is to try and not consider being romantically interested in men.

(I don't have this issue with women. This must be some lingering adolescent insecurity about my sexuality I don't know. That's self-diagnosis).

I am not saying I will never be in a relationship with a man. I'm just finding it very hard, and it's easier to focus on a heterosexual relationship.

I always seem to offend at least someone on here. Any offense caused is never intended. But I don't know what you can achieve by sharing that you were offended by me. This is something that hasn't changed and won't change.

I'm a 3, but deciding it's easier for me since I am flawed to be a 1.I don't want to shy away from good friendships with people of the same gender as me because I'm trying to work out if I want to hug them or kiss them.

Maybe by being 1, if I do come across a man that turns out I would kiss them and they feel mutually, I won't have voluntarily alienated like 20 good male friends.

*using the term kiss to mean romantically interested in.*using the term hug to mean deep friendship.-I just find it weird that I don't have this problem with women though.

I'm being true to myself. I'm deconstructing the persona British expectations has painted onto me.I'm just aware that it's possible to always think about someone of the same gender as me, care deeply for them and also not want to be in a romantic relationship with them.

In the past I assumed it was because of the romantic relationship and... one or two good friendships died as a result of something from that.

Since I have never ever been in a romantic relationship with anyone, my sexuality isn't actually defined yet. I could simply be turned on by the idea of being in any relationship. But that's something which will be found out if I ever get into a romantic relationship.

Women are more likely to be able to reciprocate attraction or feelings, as straight+bi make a larger part of the population than gay+bi. Could this have something to do with having less issues with females?

I'm just saying, maybe it's harder for you to think about it when you know that if it's attraction, you might lose a very good friend because they're straight, or conversely, if they're gay and know you're bi, you might feel obligated to be attracted to them in some way because of the scarcity issue, you might feel like they assume you will be attracted to them so if you don't you don't know how to deal with it?

That could be completely irrelevant to your issue, but I think it's something to consider, as it's one of the big differences. The other big difference is that you were probably raised in a way that assumed you would be attracted to females and so trained yourself to learn the difference for years, while you only started asking the question for males, and haven't had years of experience to help you out.

One issue is that a turn off trait for me in men is flamboyance and campness. That is a stereotype. It could be where I have lived geographically. I think it is due to the population of men who are interested in a same sex relationship. I'm more likely to be attracted to a man that won't ever be in a same sex relationship (in addition with working out if they feel mutual).Whilst with women it's statistical that the only issue I need to concern about is mutual feelings.I do think the rarity of encountering potential men heightens my reaction to them. And I do think the "recentness". I've only been aware of my potential sexuality for 10 years. As opposed to 22/25 years of being aware of heterosexual relationships.

So now, I will continue living on. And hopefully I won't accidentally alienate potentially amazing good male friends as a result of my own flaws.

I dislike the idea that gay men can't be flamboyant. It is not the defining characteristics of gay men (that would be the part where they want to have sex with men) but i think people should be free to choose to be camp. I know thats not quite what you were saying merrymaker but i was reading back in this thread and it seemed to come up. Your sexuality doesn't change your personality but if you let people bully you your personality can change because of your sexuality. One second, let me step off this soapbox.Hi I'm zarr0. I am bi. I like feminine people so I like more women than men. Also I am 22 and i figured out i was bi when i was 14. Tough time if you're a christian and I was a dick to some people but I got over it (the christianity not the bisexuality).So that's full disclosure of my biases i think ^^Also Merrymaker, you are only less likely to meet men in general life. Join a group, visit a gay bar... there are certain places that are coming down with the gays (I can call them that because I'm bi. Trust me).

OK, so, I need some outside input on this before I think myself around in a circle.

Remember the guy I said I'd been talking to? Lives out in the States, known him a while but only really started properly talking to him in the last few months etc. Well, things have been progressing at a pace. I feel like he's a lot more comfortable in being open to me - like for eg he recently opened up about identifying as demisexual as well as gay and about how he's rather sceptical of people due to past experiences - though it's still kind a difficult to get a two way conversation going sometimes. Something that isn't helped much by my usually being more of a listener than a talker. He has also continued to be open about the goings on in his day for the most part too. (Like when things go wrong etc). We've also recently taken to playing PlanetSide 2 together on and off with voice chat which has been nice...

Anyway, he also introduced me to his younger sister (due to our shared fandoms) and we've been getting along alright. Fast forward to a few days ago - I logged on to my twitter account and found she'd following me. I should preface this by saying she does know I'm very much gay. Now, I know this might seem a silly thing to get caught up on but here's the thing - cos of how my privacy settings are set up the only way she could have found me is if her brother had told her my handle (since it appears on my Facebook page).

I don't really know how to take it. I mean....it's not a big deal and I don't want to bring it up with him in case I seem like I'm making an issue of it. Just...yeah. This is stupid, I know, but anyway.

"Sing something new, I have nothing left. I can't face the dark without you."

Seems that apparently I need to get a little badge/sign that I can break out at the appropriate moments that says I'm not straight. Apparently a lot of people think i'm very very straight for some reason and thus never consider me for relationships or the like. Maybe something in it i dunno. I was told one time by somebody that I clearly couldn't like men because I looked like the kinda guy who would go out and beat up gay men for fun, not that I have any idea what that is supposed to mean.

So...I have some kind of explanation for what I posted previously. It turns out he did indeed show his sister my twitter feed.

Now, see, the thing is he showed her two specific tweets from a few weeks ago. Ones I purposely removed from my facebook feed almost immediately after I posted them. One of which was :

"Had to resist the urge to say he sounded kind a adorable every time he said "Yes, got one!" & sounded remarkably British when he did so."

Now, see, this is from like...the start of the month, and he doesn't use twitter. Hell he barely uses facebook. So.....yeah. I'm assuming the posts wouldn't show up still via notification if I deleted them from my facebook wall. So apparently he's been looking over my twitter feed, I guess?

"Sing something new, I have nothing left. I can't face the dark without you."

Fenrir wrote: So apparently he's been looking over my twitter feed, I guess?

I wouldn't be surprised at all if that were the case. I expect he fancies you quite a bit.

I know when I first messaged my now boyfriend on OKCupid, he was out of the country on a trip (I found this out because I figured out his twitter handle), and I found his tumblr. I spent quite a lot of time looking at it while I was waiting for a message back. Because I'm crazy.

I'd guess that reading your twitter feed is a way for him to feel like you're getting to know someone better when you're too shy to talk to them (in my case, substitute tumblr and not being able to talk to him because he was away from his computer). At least that was my rational.

It's a bit odd that his sister followed you, though. How old is she? Maybe she's being protective of your brother and wants to make sure you're not a terrible person? Or maybe she just really liked you, and sees how much her brother likes you, and wants to get to know you better?

Now, see, I'm not complaining in the slightest but like I say - he barely uses facebook XD So it's like "Well, ok, I've now confirmed that you read my twitter feed because of something your sister said. YOUR MOVE!".

It's funny you mention tumblr as well actually. He has previously referenced something I reblogged on my tumblr - say (if I recall correctly) he saw it via his sister's tumblr feed or something.

I guess that could be the reason. The thing is though he usually does most of the talking when we do talk XD I guess I'm kind a introverted so I tend to be more of a listener than a talker and conversely he tends to ramble on about a subject when he gets going so lol

She's 17, I believe? Quite aware of the fact I'm very much gay (and I would make that point very apparent to her or cut off conversation entirely if it ever got....weird). Perhaps. I think there is a certain level of something going on there that I don't know about. Nothing weird but I get the feeling he does perhaps talk about me to her.

His sister and I were talking for a bit this evening and she was telling me about their (her, her brother and her friend) halloween plans. I off-handedly said I'd love to see photos and said about perhaps adding her via facebook or something if that would be easier. She's now added me on FB after I linked her <_<;

"Sing something new, I have nothing left. I can't face the dark without you."

Fenrir wrote:Now, see, I'm not complaining in the slightest but like I say - he barely uses facebook XD So it's like "Well, ok, I've now confirmed that you read my twitter feed because of something your sister said. YOUR MOVE!".

It's funny you mention tumblr as well actually. He has previously referenced something I reblogged on my tumblr - say (if I recall correctly) he saw it via his sister's tumblr feed or something.

I guess that could be the reason. The thing is though he usually does most of the talking when we do talk XD I guess I'm kind a introverted so I tend to be more of a listener than a talker and conversely he tends to ramble on about a subject when he gets going so lol

She's 17, I believe? Quite aware of the fact I'm very much gay (and I would make that point very apparent to her or cut off conversation entirely if it ever got....weird). Perhaps. I think there is a certain level of something going on there that I don't know about. Nothing weird but I get the feeling he does perhaps talk about me to her.

His sister and I were talking for a bit this evening and she was telling me about their (her, her brother and her friend) halloween plans. I off-handedly said I'd love to see photos and said about perhaps adding her via facebook or something if that would be easier. She's now added me on FB after I linked her <_<;

Ohhhh she's a baaaaabyyyyy only 17? Yeah she may be of that era where everyone adds everyone else on social media and they don't really think about the repercussions or privacy or whatever. Young people... aren't always on the ball about that.

He probably talks about you a lot and is very excited so she's getting nosy like siblings sometimes do. Also if you don't talk a lot because you're more of a listener, he's probably very curious about you and so your social media accounts are a way for him to learn more about you without pressing you to talk.

Aye, she is but a pup. Where as I am like 27 so I'm old as shit XD Honestly I'm really not fussed. It's not that big a deal to me but it was like "Oh...hey...you...how did you...?".

Heh. Possibly. It isn't that I don't want to talk about myself but I guess I'm kind a conditioned to not to. If that makes sense? Plus he rarely actually directly asks me anything so.

There are other outside factors too - like there was another guy on the scene, not romantically but I think there was an interest there, but I don't know what happened to him. I think he may also be more poly in his approach to relationships. Not that I have any problems with that but I'm not really poly so.

But....anyway. Yeah. So this is a thing that is occurring in my life.

EDIT: Other thing being - he can read my tweets on my facebook wall. So ... not quite sure why he'd feel the need to go to my twitter feed too but *shrug* Maybe I'm just being dense here.

"Sing something new, I have nothing left. I can't face the dark without you."

Fenrir wrote:Aye, she is but a pup. Where as I am like 27 so I'm old as shit XD Honestly I'm really not fussed. It's not that big a deal to me but it was like "Oh...hey...you...how did you...?".

Heh. Possibly. It isn't that I don't want to talk about myself but I guess I'm kind a conditioned to not to. If that makes sense? Plus he rarely actually directly asks me anything so.

There are other outside factors too - like there was another guy on the scene, not romantically but I think there was an interest there, but I don't know what happened to him. I think he may also be more poly in his approach to relationships. Not that I have any problems with that but I'm not really poly so.

But....anyway. Yeah. So this is a thing that is occurring in my life.

EDIT: Other thing being - he can read my tweets on my facebook wall. So ... not quite sure why he'd feel the need to go to my twitter feed too but *shrug* Maybe I'm just being dense here.

On twitter you can see your replies to people, which don't show up on facebook.

If it's something you're not comfortable with (having his sister follow you) you could mention it in an offhanded way, like that you found it kind of odd.

But I wouldn't worry about it too much. He's probably just excited about you.

This is true. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm not comfortable with it. Like I said I'm honestly not fussed. I guess I'm just not used to this? Most of the time I get about as much attention as a white crayon XD

I guess I just don't know what to do with this now, y'know? I mean I only really have his sister's word to go on. I could try and bring it up casually I guess but we've not really spoken in like a week or so.

Last time we spoke I think he must have been tired or something (I know he's put on a lot at home and one of his mom's work colleagues has been going through some shit. Something he hears about first hand due to his picking his mom up from work / doing food for all of them etc.) and so wasn't really being very talkative or anything. The more I tried to get a conversation going (and failing) the more frustrated I got (I wasn't feeling particularly great in myself - I'd been having a bad week) and so I just said "Right, well, guess I'll peace out." and logged out a Steam without another word.

...Oh god. If he's been reading my twitter feed that means he saw the tweet I posted (and deleted from FB) after I did that. "Well....that was perhaps a little childish of me. Sigh.". Oh geez....

"Sing something new, I have nothing left. I can't face the dark without you."

Fenrir wrote:This is true. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm not comfortable with it. Like I said I'm honestly not fussed. I guess I'm just not used to this? Most of the time I get about as much attention as a white crayon XD

I guess I just don't know what to do with this now, y'know? I mean I only really have his sister's word to go on. I could try and bring it up casually I guess but we've not really spoken in like a week or so.

Last time we spoke I think he must have been tired or something (I know he's put on a lot at home and one of his mom's work colleagues has been going through some shit. Something he hears about first hand due to his picking his mom up from work / doing food for all of them etc.) and so wasn't really being very talkative or anything. The more I tried to get a conversation going (and failing) the more frustrated I got (I wasn't feeling particularly great in myself - I'd been having a bad week) and so I just said "Right, well, guess I'll peace out." and logged out a Steam without another word.

...Oh god. If he's been reading my twitter feed that means he saw the tweet I posted (and deleted from FB) after I did that. "Well....that was perhaps a little childish of me. Sigh.". Oh geez....

Looks like it would be worthwhile for you to try to be more communicative with him. Communicate your feelings! USE YOUR WORDS. >:B

Which, if you're headed toward a relationship, would be a good thing to work on anyway.

You should have just told him you were feeling frustrated and having a bad week. Something to work on. :B