Tabloid Trash Beat: Lock Up Your Mothers And Your Daughters ‘Cause John Edwards Is On The Prowl

Seldom do I give serious credence to the tabloids, but the National Enquirer’s coverage of the John Edwards story has to be considered an exception. After all, they’ve been ahead of EVERYONE ELSE, every step of the way, and they’ve been proven right time and time again. As a publication, the Enquirer may be only slightly more reliable than whatever Barack Obama says right after “Let me be clear,” but they do own the John Edwards story.

So, you may be asking: What’s the latest? Well, according to the Enquirer:

Before booting her shameless husband from their home after Christmas, Elizabeth screamed at John that she was “finally signing” the divorce papers she had her lawyers draw up last year during a previous battle over his relationship with Rielle Hunter, the mother of his baby.

…In a bombshell exclusive interview with The Enquirer, bartender Stephanie Breshears revealed that Edwards repeatedly tried to get her to go back to his house for sex.

The 34-year-old divorced mother-of-two said Edwards hit on her “for four consecutive nights”…

“I think he’s scum,” Stephanie told the Enquirer. “He should be home with his sick wife, but it appears he’s just a bad guy with no morals.”

…Incredibly, just minutes after giving Stephanie his phone number, Edwards started flirting with another woman — right in front of Stephanie.

“He told her he was separated, soon to be divorced,” said the sexy bartender.” I saw them exchange numbers.

“The woman, in her late 40s or early 50s, was blonde and very busty.”

…After arriving at the nearby Grand Union Pub, the 56-year-old former presidential candidate didn’t waste any time hitting on new prey, revealed a source.

This time the skirt-chaser targeted an elementary school teacher who is 25 — two years younger than his own daughter Cate.

…To make matters even worse, Edwards’ ex-mistress Rielle “was infuriated when she heard John has boasted that he could probably get full custody of their daughter,” revealed the insider.

“Rielle said it would be over her ‘dead body’ — and you can bet she’ll be doubly mad when she hears John has been out trying to pick up other women.”

My first thought after reading that? Wow, it must be tough for John Edwards to pick up random chicks. Sure, he’s rich, famous, and is a former presidential contender with a wonderful head of silky, smooth hair.

On the other hand, pretty much everyone in America knows he has been running around on his cancer stricken wife and if you have a date with him, it’s going to end up in the Enquirer next week and his wife will be leaking what a b*tch you are to the Huffington Post a few days after that. Granted, that might appeal to a certain type of woman, but they’re the sort smart men run from like a hand grenade with the pin pulled out.

Final thought: Isn’t this exactly the sort of major karmic blowback that a man who made his fortune as a sleazy trial lawyer/Democratic senator deserves in spades? I think so…