In four shades of pink — each named after a pinup model/movie star — the paint is “a temporary dye [designed] to restore the youthful pink color back to your labia. There is no other product like it.”

Each kit contains 20 applications worth of the genital dye, and is, “easy to use — applies in just one minute — and your pink is back!” There are no (safety) instructions provided on using Pink Button products for tie-dying purposes, however. Because that would just be madness, now, wouldn’t it? Also, the line has never been tested on animals — but, wait for it, “will bring out the Animal in you.” (Just by the way, all these quotes come directly from the company’s e-commerce site.)

1. Reviewers on Amazon — where the product would normally be sold, were it not currently OUT OF STOCK — have been having “fun” with their feedback.