SEARCH

8 Things All People Trying Sober January Understand

Congratulations! You made it through your first week of committing to lay off the booze. How do you feel? Yep, us, too. It’s a tough task but a worthy one, right? Here, eight things all those braving one of winter’s harshest months while off the sauce know about drying out.

Advertisement

1 of

Next Up:

If ever you needed a cocktail, it's at the completion of a grueling workweek. Around 3pm on a Friday during sober January, you realize you don't get to have a drink, and what results is a feeling we can only describe as pure despair.

In these moments, might we recommend you try our favorite January drinking replacement instead of screaming into your pillow? (Warning: It doesn't include imbibing of any sort, so please don't get your hopes up and then angrily delete us from your feeds.)

Especially on the weekends. This causes you to re-evaluate all past postings you made between the hours of 8pm and 2am.

Or at the very least, boring? You suddenly aren't sure why you hang out with these people.—surely you can't be that obnoxious when you drink. Right?

Maybe it's because your friends know you'll soberly judge them as they imbibe, but your "I'm not drinking this month" statements are generally met with a forced "Good for you!" followed by zero follow-up on plans.

C'mon guys. This doesn't work, and everyone knows it. The reason we drink is to numb ourselves to the harsh realities of our times (said everyone in every generation ever). Fizzy water is useless for this purpose.

Is this ... good health? It feels so ... great? Is this how non-drinkers live ... all the time? Wow.

Because it doesn't feel like the second week of January, it feels like November and we know it's going to be an especially long year. Eff good health—cheers!