You Are My Sweetest Downfall.

My accountant calls me benevolent. I’m too generous with my time, my grace, my patience. Sometimes I believe him, when my heart is breaking with the weight of all that I give away.

Sometimes I’m glad that I’m stubborn enough to hold to the fervent belief in my heart : I have been given one true gift, the ability to love someone well. Call that benevolent, call it foolish, but one who is worthy of love, has always been my sweetest downfall.

So down, down, down I go.. down to the spaces again where I am needed with my healing words and peace. Places that feel like a privilege, moments that ache like a wound but are full of warmth and life.

Of course, something happened. Something that involved a re-wrapping of truth, for the sake of dignity, privacy, fear.. probably many things. That’s not mine to understand or outlay. And when the truth comes out, as truth so often does… I am left now responding to truth, finding love-words to bring things back together…

My only regret is that I was present enough or strong enough or good enough to stay the deed that caused the pain. I would have taken all of my strength and heart to the cause.

I am found again, ready to love with all that I have and to be Incarnate, where I am presently allowed. And I love again and again.