The Story of How Psycho Panda Came to be

One day a panda named Ping-ping was walking down a street in
Honolulu, Hawaii. It was looking for its favorite treat, Seasoned
Roasted Seaweed. Suddenly an old woman pulled Ping-ping into a dark
alley. "If you answer a riddle I will give you what you most
desire." said the Old Woman, "For I know everything about you
Ping-ping, and I wish to help you so that your life may be filled
with happiness and fortune. Just answer my riddle and you can have
whatever you want. Each incorrect answer will cost you a dollar,
though, but you may stop at any time. And remember this: your
deepest desire may not be what you really think it is. Now choose
my panda, will you answer my riddle or leave, always wondering what
would have happened if you did try to answer my riddle. Choose"
Now, Ping-ping wasn't used to making decisions on his own. His
older siblings always decided where to go, what to eat, what to
buy, everything. Ping-ping made the choice of answering the
riddles. He would only use up two dollars (out of five) so that he
would still be able to buy some seaweed if he got the riddle
wrong.

"I will answer your riddle, Old Woman. But I only have two
dollars to spend."

"A wise choice Ping-ping. Here is your riddle. What does no man
want, yet no man wants to loose?" This is a tough question thought
Ping-ping.

"Hmm…no man wants it…. and no man wants to lose
it…hmmm." mumbled Ping-ping, "I know! Wait, no, never mind,
that doesn't work. Hmmm, hmmm, hmmm. What about a job? Nobody
really likes to work, but once you have a job you don't want to be
fired. That's it! Old Woman, come here! I have found the answer to
your tricky riddle."

"Now really? You think you have the answer? Well, out with it
young panda. What's the answer?"

"No man wants a job, but no man wants to lose his lob, either.
That is my answer- a job."

"I'm sorry Ping-ping, but that is incorrect, for I love to work.
To work is my life, and I love it. Will you guess again?" (The Old
Woman had a very hopeful look on her face when she said this.)
Ping-ping said yes for he had another idea. He was thinking about
bald heads.

"A bald head. That's my final answer, a bald head." Ping-ping
answered without a pause. He was so absolutely sure of this that he
was already jumping up and down with excitement.

"Wha…how…uhh...you… you… you got
it!" stammered the Old Woman, "How? Do you have hidden psychic
powers I don't know of? Tell me how you found the answer! No one
else has ever solved it! What is your secret?"

The young panda proudly answered the Old Lady; "You should take
that picture of that bald man- over there- down. Pictures make
people think about what's in the picture. So in this case- a bald
head." Ping-ping then gave the woman a dollar and waited while she
looked deep into his soul.

"Here is what you desire the greatest. Here is your container of
Seasoned Roasted Seaweed. I have gone to the trouble of adding a
special ingredient to it so that you will stay healthy. Just eat
three a day, for ten days and you will never get sick again. And
here is another container of seaweed, but it is your regular kind.
Have a nice day, oh smart one." Then, *poof* she disappeared. So
for the next ten days Ping-ping ate three seaweed helpings a day.
At the end of the tenth day a miraculous change happened.
Ping-ping's eyes grew very large and he started doing very psycho
things. When his friends came over for a party that evening, they
found Ping-ping acting weird. From then on he was known as Psycho
Panda. Psycho Panda had many adventures, and still does! You can
buy Psycho Panda Treats (also called Seasoned Roasted Seaweed) at a
Family Food market in Hawaii (I don't know if it is sold anywhere
else.) and it is manufactured by Two Suns Manufacture Co., Ltd. And
watch out, or you might turn into a psycho, too.