Categories for Tits in Tight Tops

The eyecandy has been delivered to SCORELAND. Head on over and pick it up. But be warned. The risk of sugar shock is a real possibility. We assume no liability if you are unable to detach your hand from your mouse this weekend. Ashley Sage Ellison puts on and takes off her British school uniform in an after-class treat. Valory Irene’s blue lingerie thingie is mere frosting on her magnificent cupcakes. What areolae! As big as silver-dollar pancakes. In the Blog video below, Valory shows how she dresses in public. Mama mia! I respect a woman who’s busty and proud and Valory is all that. Sophie Mae looks like a life-sized dress-up doll in a candy-cane dress and is twice as sweet. Sexbomb Kitana Flores told us in a recent video interview that one time a guy came as soon as she got naked for him. This is called the “Kitana Flores effect.” He never did see any action with her. Luckily, that didn’t happen in Kitana’s new bouncing SCORELAND vid, “Big-Boobed Lingerie Shageroo.” I wouldn’t have blamed the stunt-man if he had. Just never let him into the building ever again. And there’s even more eyecandy so log in. Same boob time, same boob channel.

Fresh from unfreezing Santa Claus’s north pole on SCOREtv Holiday Edition and a P.O.V. video “Sex It To Me!’ (January 7 on SCOREVideos.com), this knockout brunette has got it all from every angle. And she’s smart, funny and sweet, too. I’m talking Eva Notty, one of the most beautiful girls to walk into the SCORE Building, from any of the niches we publish. This vid’s called “Bikini Busting Beauty And An Ocean View” and it’s airing today on SCORELAND. Ocean views are nice but they are nothing compared to the view of a bikini busting beauty. Her body is really sensational. Eva looks amazing in a bikini, which is one of the most requested outfits for a model to wear and why we have a swimsuit special edition every August. Her bikini doesn’t stay on too long. What can we say? It got too warm. Notty’s a hotty. Log in and turn on.

A few SCORELAND members have noticed the ass-smothering tight jeans that some of the girls have been wearing lately and they’ve emailed or commented about it. It looks like spray-painted jeans. Today, add the sexy ass of Lana Ivans to the jeans buster club. Lana, a big ratings hit on New Years Eve with her debut hardcore video “Total Sex,” has a video in SCORE Theater today called “Tight Jeans Tight Top.” Lana models her own 36E cup bra, talks about bra shopping (she buys them in France), boobs, fucking, cock sucking and where she wants to take herself in her modeling roadmap. Then Lana takes off the super-snug jeans and gets down to wearing only the wind so her fingers can do the talking. Lana’s a happy, always smiling girl-next-door who likes to spread the joy. There’s plenty of it in this video.

This is our latest hot and horny Sunday interview video with a SCORE model. Last week was Kelly Christiansen and the weeks before her was Kitana Flores, Beshine,Dors Feline, Elaina Gregory and Natalie Fiore. A much better way to spend Sundays than watching overpaid dudes tossing a football. I’m sure Lana approves this message.

Featured on SCORELAND on Wednesday in photos from her February ’11 SCORE issue, Alana Anderson has a pair of the pointiest, most prominent nipples I can remember seeing in recent years. They really are standouts in more ways than two. She’s a cam model in California and has spent time in Florida as well since she mentioned dancing at some of the clubs we know here. Alana’s never been in a men’s magazine before us. Her first SCORE was December ’09. “I had been asked about modeling for busty mags by members who had been watching me on my live camera so I looked up SCORE and sent some pics.”

Buying bras is something Alana probably spends more time doing than the average American. “Some I try on and some I buy online. Sometimes I buy them to wear as sexy-wear if they are really pretty even if they are a little too small. To test them, I put my shirt back on over it to see if it is smooth or if my boobs look like a muffin top. I have no idea how much they weigh but they are much heavier when they are full of milk. Sometimes I wear a sports bra over my bra under my shirt if I am working out so they stay put. I am very short so I usually wear fitted clothes. I dress to emphasize the difference between my breasts and my waist otherwise I look like I’m wearing a tent. If you spotted me in public in nice weather, I’d probably be wearing a fitted, low-cut, slim-to-the-waist top with an A-line miniskirt or shorts with either platform heels or casual wedge heels.”

Daphne Rosen also calls the huge boobs, small waist result that Alana mentioned the “tent effect.”

German bra destroyer Beshine and her incredible XXX-cup rack is coming to SCORELAND very soon. In the meantime, here’s an important lesson for all of you: When you’re looking at a girl who’s built like Beshine (of course, only one girl in the world is built like Beshine), be a gentleman and stare at her chest. If you don’t, she just might slap your face…pervert.

Screw the turkey. Figuratively speaking, that is. The only three things that really count on a holiday weekend are babes, boobs and brew. And when all three are combined, you are treated to the vision of Renee Ross dressed in a beer-maid outfit from the Oktoberfest school of brew serving. I’ve seen those waitresses slinging seven steins at once, but we didn’t want to wear Renee out, and besides, Renee needed two free hands to peel off and play with herself. If only more tap-yankers looked and acted like Renee, and had kegs like hers, our lives would be so much easier. There are 78 more photos of Renee in “Boobfest”posted on SCORELAND. Bottoms up!

Last week, we saw Kelly Christiansen in a blog video with Angelina Castro. Well, for some reason, Kelly seems to attract brickhouse babes whenever she’s in our studio, and now here she is with Karen Fisher, SCORE Girl since 2001 (I can’t believe it’s been that long) and one of my favorites. Earlier this week, I teased the question, “What are Kelly and Karen doing in our studio together?” This video doesn’t answer that question at all. It does, however, answer the question, “What does built like a brick shithouse mean?”

By the way, what were Karen and Kelly doing together in our studio? Well, this video was shot in our studio’s styling room just moments before Kelly and Karen went off to do whatever they did together.

I guarantee you I’m never going to be a co-host on Project Runway or America’s Next Top Model. First of all, Heidi and Tyra are not into me, which is totally understandable. Secondly, what they have the girls wear on these shows and their copycats are nothing less than degrading atrocities. Who would wear this garbage, in any situation? So you can tell I’m not a fan of high-falutin’ glamour-wear or anything like it. Which leads me to my blog question of the day.

What do you like to see SCORE, V-Mag and XL Girls wearing in the opener of a pictorial or video? Now, my taste in what girls wear in general runs to what I call “hottie casual.” I’m proud of that. Less is always more to me, especially with the model’s outfits. There’s a price tag to my fashion interests, like sometimes being called “filthy lech,” “swine” and “sexist pig.” I’m proud of that too. It would be nice if girls wore fantasy costumes and stripperwear in everyday life, but the human race has not evolved highly enough yet. I figure another 500 years.

Natalie goes Daisy Dukes.

Tube dresses. Invented by a genius.

Some readers have told me that they like to see a model wearing what she might wear in a supermarket, aka “everyday life.” But the majority of women (in this country, anyway) dress low-key and are not into wearing clothes that show off their bodies in “everyday life.” I don’t know what supermarkets those guys go to, but I see a lot of baggy jeans and loose tops or long dresses in the one I shop in. And what the models wear in department-store catalogs (except for the bra ads) is boring.

So my question to you is this: In the photos and vids, do you prefer to see a model glammed-up like Shione Cooper with her fur coat and all the rest of the glamour-puss trimmings, or do you go for “hottie casual” like Natalie Fiore idealizes with her high-cut denim shorts? And what are some of your favorite outfits you’ve seen the girls wear in recent times?

Last year, we ran a poll asking “What is your favorite look in a model?” 26% picked glammed-up, 48% picked Girl-Next-Door and a large 26% answered that it didn’t matter. (Probably because they skip the clothing shots completely until the models show skin.) Please comment below or email Scorecard@scoregroup.com.

I don’t know for sure who invented the string bikini, the one item all SCORE and Voluptuous girls should pack in their suitcases (besides their bras, tank tops and booty shorts). Whoever created this wearable dental floss, I’d like to shake their hand for bringing happiness to the world. Some sources claim the inventor of the string bikini was a Brazilian fashion model named Rose de Primallio who sewed one quickly for a photo shoot. Another story is that a public relations man and his wife had a designer create a string bikini in 1974 for a show during the opening of a shopping center in the French Quarter of New Orleans.

Ooops, fall out alert!

Another perfect bikini body.

Seeing as how Brazil is the center of the universe for the skimpiest, tiniest bikinis girls have worn in public, I’d go with the Brazilian fashion model backstory. String bikinis and extreme bikinis represent all that is good, wholesome and healthy. Before I go to sleep and when I wake up, I give thanks for a.) big boobs and b.) string bikinis. Behind every woman wearing a burka is a woman eager to try on a string bikini. They might even be wearing string bikinis under their burkas and no one would ever know. Check out SCORELAND for more bikini busties.

This is the best dress for a busty girl to wear. In my opinion. It’s also called a T-shirt dress or tube dress. Every girl should own at least one and wear it a lot. Simple, tight, short and body-hugging. No ruffles, ridges, belts, buttons or any other kind of crap hanging on it. Goes on fast and comes off even faster. Merilyn and Candace Von wear this kind of dress really well. They’d probably start a riot if they walked down a crowded street dressed like this, especially Merilyn’s see-through number. It couldn’t get any shorter. I think every model should bring this kind of dress to the studio for at least one shoot.