Diane Von Furstenberg: Get Thee to the Tents on Time!

Take your seats, bitches!Photo: Getty Images

It’s officially time to start counting down to Fashion Week. It’s only two-plus months away! Tingles, doesn’t it? Diane Von Furstenberg dispatched a letter last week to those involved in New York’s Biannual Spectacle of Fabulousness, in preparation of the shows, and it reads sort of like the State of the Union of New York’s fashion world. This season’s theme is (drumroll, please): Fed Up With Shows Starting an Hour Late! This is different from past seasons, you see, when the Union was Concerned About Skinny Models (and you’ve seen the inroads made there). She offered novel solutions, though, encouraging designers to do presentations rather than full-blown shows (so guests can drift in and out in an allotted time window). And if designers must do shows, she asked them to (gasp!) start only a tiny bit late. “Please make every effort to start your show no later than ten minutes after the hour,” she wrote. “If guests know that shows are expected to start on time, they will make an effort to arrive accordingly.”

She offered solutions to attendees, too: “Please make sure to arrive at each show you attend on the hour… Please take your seat quickly, so that designers are not forced to hold the ‘start of show’ based on their guests’ arrivals.” She probably also should have added, to the designers, “If the house is empty, suck it up and start your show anyway.” Because the problem is, designers don’t want to show to a half-empty house so they wait for the seats to fill, which is why they’re all so late. The guests know if they’re all off getting soy lattes across the street, they’re not going to miss anything. So designers, take the power back this season and start without those leisurely, strolling ladies. If that scares you, just hire a barista and/or bartender for your tent and they will come. Trust us.