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Wednesday Wisdom With Wyndham – 102

Last week my city hosted the Boston marathon, a running event. At times our lives can seem rather “marathonic” as we do the same things over and over for a long time—leaving us tired and depleted. Just when we feel as though the finish line should be around the corner we hit “heartbreak hill.” Heartbreak hill is a steep half-mile climb at mile twenty in the Boston marathon route which can test the strongest athlete’s physical and mental endurance. Likewise, our personal life marathons meet “heartbreak hills.”

This morning I felt this hill. I don’t really know all the reasons why. Life circumstances likely, accompanied by the end of a busy weekend and compounded by the twelve to fifteen times last night I arose to adjust Wyndham’s squeaky, leaking cpap mask. But whatever the cause(s), I felt completely unmotivated and flat. My prayer was rather cryptic, mainly asking for God’s Spirit to take over my day. Elizabeth Thompson’s Facebook post ministered to me. (God knew what I needed.) The verse accompanied by her meaningful commentary was Psalm 119 81-84 (NLT)

I am worn out waiting for your rescue, but I have put my hope in your word.My eyes are straining to see your promises come true. When will you comfort me?I am shriveled like a wineskin in the smoke, but I have not forgotten to obey your decrees.How long must I wait?

I am not sure what a shriveled wineskin in the smoke looks like, but I am pretty sure it describes how I felt. I had a few appointments scheduled and a Bible study, and I didn’t want to just say words during those times, but desired to connect with God and the people involved through the working of God’s Spirit. I also didn’t want the Bible study to be a rote task, but a heartfelt connection to God and his Word to help a friend learn to love and follow Jesus wholeheartedly. So, how was I to do this while feeling flat and unmotivated…worn out and shriveled like a wineskin in the smoke? I thought about the marathon and then saw a water bottle that Wyndham used for several years. It simply says, “Follow me to the finish line.”

I thought, Here I am, fully able to go and do while he can do nothing. And Wyndham keeps trusting without a complaint. Yeah, I’ll follow him to the finish line because he is following Jesus. Yes, I’ll follow Jesus to the finish line, shriveled and tired or not. So, I prepared for the Bible study, which was (ironically) to be about following Jesus, living as a disciple, finding life by losing my life. I had also told a friend I would write a review for her book. The book is titled, “Follow Me.” My first appointment centered on the need to follow Jesus who trusted God when he was mistreated. Hmmm. The message for me was becoming clear. I simply needed to follow Jesus. I know how to do that, motivated or not (and I was not feeling the motivation).

Since Jesus ran the race before me, he knows the route. He ran heartbreak hill. As I lived my shriveled wineskin life today I knew I simply must keep on running, following him to the finish line. Since years ago I decided to follow him I surely would not stop now. Amazingly, but as expected (because I’ve been running this race a while), I felt the Spirit of God not running ahead of me…but actually running with me, in me. God’s Spirit motivated my shriveled, unmotivated self and encouraged me, reminding me through the Scriptures I read (for maybe the thousandth time but still alive and active) that he would be with me. His Spirit was like a hand on my back giving me a boost up today’s heartbreak hill.

I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free. Teach me, O LORD, to follow your decrees; then I will keep them to the end. (Psalm 119:32-33)

Toward the end of the day, I forgot I was running a marathon. God’s Spirit and I had conquered heartbreak hill—at least for today. Tomorrow, he has promised he will still be with me, as I follow him to the finish line.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (Hebrews 121-3)

I instruct you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths.
When you walk, your steps will not be hampered; when you run, you will not stumble.
Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life. (Proverbs 4:11-13)