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Yes. I hate to admit
it but freshers flu most certainly exists. No doubt if you have just started
uni or are at uni, the first few weeks eventually will come down on you like a
tonne of bricks. Runny nose, muggy head, sore throat and usually a terrible cough.
I'm sure two weeks ago I used the term 'everything hurts and I'm dying'
MULTIPLE times.

Luckily for myself I
collaborated with the company VOOST who create dissolvable, flavoursome
vitamins and minerals. Getting rid of the hassle of having to swallow tablets,
keeping you hydrated and giving your body the right dose of nutrients to keep
it happy and healthy! This has made it convenient and helpful in the past month
where my life has been all over the place and I probably haven't been getting
all the essential vitamins and minerals which my body needs.

With having VOOT's
vitamins convientially on hand, it inspired me to give you my own personal
guide into surviving freshers and looking after your body (while still enjoying
yourself)

VITAMINS &
MINERALS

Like I said above
using VOOSTS vitamins every day has really helped me in getting my health back
up. They have a whole range for whatever your body is needing or may be
lacking. I have been specifically using the vitamins B complex which as a Vegan
is really handy. The benefits of this are to help give the body energy,
reducing fatigue and boosting the immune system. I have also been using the
vitamin C which again helps boost the bodies immune system, along with
protection against free radicals and the normal formation of blood vessels,
bones, cartilage, skin, and teeth.

SLEEP

I cannot express
enough how valuable sleep becomes in the first few weeks of uni. Literally it's
so easy to just keep going and going until you reach a point of completely
flaking out. So when you can get sleep in there! Get your sleep!

WATER

Especially if you're
drinking a lot of alcohol you want to make sure you are keeping yourself
hydrated. Make sure you are drinking enough water throughout the day if you are
planning to go out later than night. Also make sure you get lots the next
morning!!!

LEMPSIP

Not gonna lie these
have been a complete life saver for me! Trust me, use them! It'll help make any symptoms slightly more bearable.

EXERCISE

As much as you may
be out of your usual routine getting in some form of exercise is going to help
give you a boost and help your immune system. Get yourself outside, in the
fresh air! You'd be surprised just how much a walk does you the world of good.

REDUCE STRESS

High stress levels are only going to decrease you immune system and affect your mental and physical health. Try to keep stress levels lower by adding things such as yoga and meditation to your routine.

I feel like this is going to be a passionate blog post, then again when am I not being preachy and opinionated? I am passionate about this subject because it is coming from the way I have felt for bloody years. In a way I guess I am writing this to you but also as a way to write it to myself.

Let's be honest, no one want to fail in life. It is a horrible feeling thinking you have not achieved something and let yourself down. I'll admit over the years after changing my mind with a LOT, it has increased my feeling of failure which sucks. Yet when I stop and think about it changing your mind is more of a positive aspect to your self growth.

Bravery is really something which comes with the decision of change, knowing you have the power and confidence to change something in your life. By changing your direction in life, your career, your relationships, your fitness routine, whatever it may be, actually shows that you are in tune with what makes you happy and what doesn't. Usually we want to change these things because we are unhappy or unsatisfied, right? I see it a good thing to actually notice that.

For years I thought I was the only person continuously changing my mind, especially when it came to my career and education. I felt like such a failure because I believed that everyone around me had everything figured out and making their parents proud. Only recently I have realised I'm not the only one. I have a lot of my friends and family around me who have been through, going through or felt the same. Do I see them as a failure? Nope. I continuously tell them how things will work out and they have to follow their hearts into what feels right.

Change does not equal failure. It brings opportunity and growth. We think that to reach success you have to be successful. True success comes from knowing what you want and breaking the rules of expectation slightly. Don't look so much at the end goal 24/7 but break it down into smaller goals. This could be in fitness, for example you may want to be able to run a marathon next year but if you continue to focus on how far away you are from that, you fail to notice that you've gone from running 1 mile to 5 miles easily. It may be with your career, you have the end in your mind but first you have to go through qualifications, courses and degrees to ever get there, rather than focusing on experience and each achievement along the way. It may even be in a relationship, wanting to get married but bringing it all down after one argument and forgetting all the positives to your relationship. You get my point.

I love the idea and affirmation that 'success is a matter of perception'. We all have different views on what success should actually be and what it means to succeed in our lives. We all have successes in different ways, some peoples will be bigger than others. For some it may be that they even got out of bed in the morning and others it has to be climbing mount Everest.

So when you think you are failing due to changing your mind with something, I think it is important to remember that only you have created this idea in your head. Everything life throws at you has some sort of lesson to teach you and sometimes that lesson might be to simply change. Change direction, figure out what's right for you. Like I said - that's true bravery.

Crickey! It's been
while since I've written a blog post. In fact it has been over 2 months which I
actually think is the longest I have ever not written in 6 years. Whatttttt?! I
never thought I would miss it as much as I have but I guess writing has always
been such a big part of my life that I have took it for granted. Having this
moment now to just sit and write properly with my thoughts for the first time
in months is a warming feeling to say the least.

OKAY, lets get to
the point. I am sure there are lots of questions flying around wondering where
the hell I have been! What's happening with my blog, what am I doing in terms
of fitness, am I still even vegan? What I am doing at uni, am I enjoying it? And
so on. I thought the best way to kick right back into Happily Holli was to just
tell you what on earth is going on.

Lets start with
moving to Leeds which really has been the main reason my blog and writing has
come to a humongous halt. YES, I have started uni and moved down the Leeds at
the end of September. So far? I am loving it! There have been so many points
through the past 6 years where I have been constantly wondering 'is this really for me?' and for the first
time I know this was the right decision.

In terms of Leeds as
a city, I really do enjoy living here, it is one of my favourite cities and
already feels like home. Secondly. I
have most certainly got freshers flu. Yes man, that shit exists or simply the
fact my body is not used to more gin and vodka than veggies 5 out of 7 days a
week... I mean don't get me wrong freshers was something else but now my body
feels like it is slowly dying and needs to be injected with vegetables and
health.

In terms of actual
uni, I'm at Leeds Beckett studying Sport and Exercise Therapy (for anyone
interested.) Despite it being one of the most complex courses, I honestly could
not be happier being given this opportunity. Sport therapy is something I have
been interested in for years but never really spoken about over social media or
my blog. For a long time I was debating a simple sports massage course to go
along side my personal training, blog and brand but deep down I always wanted
more. You see, I have always been a big achiever and inside wanted to strive
for bigger things. I love to learn and I don't think there will ever come a day
where there isn't something else I want to be learning. One thing I knew is I
really did want to achieve getting
degree, I wanted to learn deep at higher levels, so this was my chance.
The one point in my life where I am actually physically and mentally able,
meaning I had to jump at it. People keep asking me is it weird being like 3
years behind everyone else and my friends are already near enough graduating...
in all honesty it's really not! Like when I was 18, I could never have come to
university and it would've quite frankly been a complete waste of time. Whereas
now I am ready and I know exactly what it is I want to do. I am so glad I
waited.

Remember the hare
never won the race.

Now because of the
whole craziness of the past two months, moving in, freshers and starting my
course... It is safe to say that fitness has kinda gone out the window. It's
not been priority and yanno what? That is perfectly fine. Back home I pretty
much had a routine style of life and as a lil Sagittarius it doesn't really
fit. I mean I do miss routine but I also love something different to happen
every day, a common ground between the two, if you get me! It has actually been
a breath of fresh air having a little bit of time off of intense training. I've
lifted weights probably 5 times in the past 3 weeks, had a few yoga sessions
and have been doing way more steps than usual but honestly that has been more
than enough. I think when you perform and look a certain way it can be so hard
to break your usual cycle. I was so scared to stop lifting weights 5/6 days a
week, to the point I wasn't even enjoying my workouts. Where as now after
having a few weeks off and drinking more gin than I can count on my fingers and
toes, losing a lil bit of muscle and strength, I am most certainly ready to
train again whether it been lifting weights, sprinting or yoga (all of which I
love) I am craving it!

Which brings me onto
food! 1. Yes I am still Vegan and always will be. Another reason I have loved
moving to Leeds, as there are so many Vegan food options, aka the dream. 2.
Funnily enough since moving to Leeds I have become so much more relaxed with food.
I mean I pretty much still eat the same but because I have 0 time to think
about it, I have reduce how much I obsess about it. I think I admitted before I
came, I was falling slightly into old ways. Obsessing with macros, weighing
myself and food, eating certain things at certain times regarding training etc.
Quite frankly, it made me miserable. Yet for the past two months I have not
done any of that once and I feel like my brain has been washed. I have been
eating more carbohydrates than I ever have which my body loves me for and I
haven't been obsessing over protein or stupid things like that. I have simply
been listening to my body, eating when I am hungry and stopping when I am full.
I also have bread every day, I mean why I ever cut bread out is beyond me, yeah
I have missed you fella.

Lastly... My blog!
Happily Holli. Is she still alive? Is she still going? Of course! Not going to
lie but my blog is practically my baby and writing is something I shall never
give up. One thing uni has taught me so far is that you are allowed to have more
than one bloody interest. For years I believed because people knew me for
fitness, I couldn't talk about or express all the other things I enjoyed. Like
the fact I adore writing and still want to write a book, I love to paint, I
love science museums, anatomy excites me, astrology, crystals and spirituality
are my jam, I have read since I was 2, music brings me alive and I love gin
more than you would ever realise. Fitness is only a quarter of my life compared
to all the things I have found love in over the years. I think meeting people
with so many different interests has brought that out of me again. Which is why
I am here now, writing this post because writing will always be my second home.
It will always be something I find true comfort in. It is also why I will be
most certainly bringing back many blog posts covering all kinds of topics life,
health, food and obviously fitness! I'm gonna show you how to get a degree and
build a booty of course, haha. I am debating a name change... (I know everyone
will scream no!) but I kind of feel like Happily Holli doesn't fit my vibe any
more, let me know what you think.

So, I think that has
pretty much summed my life up and where I am currently at. It's good to be
home.

No one ever told me
that recovering from an eating disorder would be easy... by that they were
right. It truly is a mental and physical battle you are living in. While
the rest of the world watches you like it is a walk in the park.

Over the past 7
years I have watched and discovered the amount of misconceptions and
misjudgements made around eating disorders. This thing alone was one of the
biggest things which prevented me from moving forward and recovering.

From the outside
world looking in, we have an idea about what an Eating Disorder roughly is but
what we think one is slightly differs from living with one. It certainly
differs from actually recovering from one.

I wanted to write a
post I guess to discuss and highlight some of the things no one tells you about
recovery. Some of the thoughts, feelings and experiences you or your loved one
may be going through. Things I didn't really realise myself till I wrote them down.

Your hormones are
all over the place. This was and still is one of the scariest things for me.
Figuring out how to deal with hormones and welcoming feelings. During the
worst part of my Eating Disorder it was like there was a switch which turned
off my hormones and feelings completely. I felt nothing. Whereas when you start
supplying your brain and body with nutrients again, you become aware of
yourself and the world. Your hormones strike you like there is no tomorrow.
Crazy emotions! One minute you can be happy and on top of the world, the next
you are screaming at your boyfriend for turning the TV volume too high. You
crave sex like never before but the next you can't stand yourself and want to
hide away. Your head pretty much resembles being on the worlds fastest roller
coaster with 100 ups and downs while it's pouring with rain.

Hunger strikes.
Extreme hunger. Not just a little bit, but a LOT. You body isn't used to being
fed and nourished, so it jumps into survival mode. It does not know when it is
next going to be fed so to put it simply - it wants EVERYTHING and ANYTHING. I remember when I first began to recover,
some days I would eat and eat and eat and never be full! I was like a human
hoover. It was the scariest thing on the world. For someone who dealt with
binge eating also, I felt like I was constantly binging. I was full but I
wasn't. Even at a healthy weight I still experienced it which is not easy when your
mind is the biggest battle and telling you that you shouldn't be eating.

The label, oh the label. The label is bloody
hard to let go of. For years I was known as the girl with Anorexia. It was my
identity and what I'd worked for. I was petrified of who I was without it, I didn't really know who I
was without it. Even when I had gained back my weight, was healthy and happy, I
still could not let go of the label. Creating and finding yourself as a person
without it literally seems impossible.

You body often feels
uncomfortable and weird. I remember my body just not feeling like my body
anymore and yep, I felt uncomfortable 99% of the time, not going to lie. I felt
like I was in a strangers body. One minute I saw one thing in the mirror and the
next I saw something completely different. It wasn't just my body but the way I
looked in my face, the way I moved, who I was. It is a strange feeling, like I had
to create a completely different identity. I still struggle with this, it
really is something I can't begin to explain.

Your mind is
confusing as fu*k. Yup. I never ever understand the thought processes my mind
puts me through. When I first started recovery, my mind drove me crazy. It was
still in the 'anorexic' mode, as much as I was attempting to pull it out. It
wanted me to be ill. It wanted me to be better. It wanted to see the scale go
down. It wanted to make people happy. It wanted to ignore other people. It
wanted food. It didn't want food. I just didn't know. I didn't understand it.

Sex isn't fun when
you have to explain why your stomach looks like a balloon. Weird one but
something I never thought I would find hard. Being intimate and physical in the
bedroom is torture when you know you are going to be either in pain or dealing
with extreme bloating. Your sex drive is coming back but you also know the guy
you are seeing is basically going to think you are pregnant. It's a never
ending battle!!!

Recovery doesn't
have some magic 'end' point and there is no magic 'light'. I hate the idea and
culture around recovery. I hate the idea that we all recover the same and one
day it's just suddenly okay because that is not true at all. For a long time I
was living believing that I would reach a point where I was just back to myself
and everything was fine. Lets be honest though is anything a straight linear
line? Nope. While I am a big advocate that you can beat this illness, I also
want you to know that everyone's journey is completely personal and we get
through things in different ways.

You choose to
recovery every single day. Nope it is not easy and nope it does not just
suddenly happen. You have to choose life over you disorder every day. You have
to do sh*t you don't want to. You have to go through days you don't enjoy.

Then
you start to notice the tiniest things. The fact that you aren't freezing 24/7.
You can leave the house without having to sit down every 20 minutes. You can
genuinely smile. You can wash your hair without it falling out. You can stand
without the world spinning. You can bounce out of bed or run around with your
dog. It's the small things that make this whole bloody thing worth it.

After 4 months of continuously saying I was going to get back in the kitchen... I actually did! Before I head off to uni, I have a little bit more time on my hands, so it meant one thing right?

I guess I have changed when it comes to being in the kitchen. I will be the first to admit I have become super lazy, I eat the same meals 24/7 and use one pan if I can. Yep, I just haven't wanted to slave away in the kitchen and lost the joy out of creating new recipes. Mainly because I have been so damn busy, that's life right?

So I thought, what would I want to make myself these days? Something which would suit the majority of the population who aren't full time food bloggers creating recipes all day long with about 100 ingredients. First things I could think of.... Cookies!!! Who doesn't love cookies? These cookies I can safety say came from a place of laziness. Taking me just 30 minutes to make. Bonus.

Chocolate. In fact double chocolate. That's all I have to say on the matter. Double chocolate cookies you can whip up 30 minutes.

Made with oats, sweet banana, runny peanut butter, indulgent cacao powder and a few other ingredients meaning no animals were harmed in these glorious cookies. Double bonus.

Oh and the chocolate obviously melts when they're freshly baked. Complete gooey, chocolate goodness. If you are not convinced to make these already, are you mad?

1 & 1/2 cup oats

2 over ripe bananas

1 flax egg (1 tsbp. ground flax with 3 tbsp. water)

2 heaped tbsp. peanut butter

2 tbsp. cacao powder

1 tsp maca powder (optional)

1/4 tsp salt

1 scoop pea protein (optional)

2 tbsp. almond milk

2 pieces dark chocolate

Pre heat the oven to 180c.

In a small bowl mix together 1 tbsp. ground flaxseed and 3 tbsp. water and place this to one side.

In a blender blitz your oats to a flour consistency.

In a large mixing bowl place your two bananas and mash with a fork. Add all your other ingredients to the bowl except the almond milk and chocolate. Mix everything together and then slowly add in your almond milk until there is a slightly sticky cookie dough. You don't want it to wet here so add a tiny bit at a time.

Once mixed together take a heaped tbsp. of the dough and space out on a lined baking tray. The mix should make 7 to 8 cookies. Place in the oven for 12 to 15 minutes. Take out and leave to cool.

A regular question I get asked being a lil vegan head. I'll be honest I'm not surprised people ask or wonder this. I remember when I first became vegan... Eating out was the hardest thing ever! Let's be honest this isn't really what you want when you're out with friends needing a quick snack or on a date, he's wondering where you should go and you end up feeling like a huge pain in the ass.

Yup, not fun.

I'm here to solve all of your vegan eating out disasters. You're welcome.

Where have I found is best then?

Best lunch pick up

Pret A Manger - One of my all time faves I have to say! Whenever there is a Pret about I'm shooting over there as quick as possible. They always have an option I'm happy with. From sandwiches, wraps, soups, salads, veggie pots, porridge, acai pots, smoothies and there recently new Vegan chocolate chip cookie! I mean how can we complain?

Best Pizza

Zizzi - If you know me I bloody love pizza. The fact more and more Pizza restaurants are giving vegan options now makes me one happy gal. Zizzi's is one of them for sure! The options are every vegan's dream. They offer pizza's with a vegan mozzarella and any toppings of your choice, they also have a pasta dish and vegan garlic bread... which who can refuse? Not only that but gone are the days where fruit salad or sorbet is the only dessert option! They have a vegan dessert calzone with fruits and vegan honeycomb and a sticky chocolate praline torte... both of which are served with coconut and chocolate gelato. Oh damn.

Best snacks on the go

Boots - Boots has been my saviour whenever I am out shopping and probably the last place people think of. They have a range of vegan food and snacks to pick up! I've found they're best for snacks, now stocking some of my favourite from Delicious Ella's energy balls, Livia's kitchen millionaire bites and nugglets, nakd bars and popcorn!

Best chain restaurants (you probably don't know about)

Wagamama - I love a good Wagamama's because if you know me Japanese food is one of my absolute favourites! Since they released their fully vegan menu, they're 10x better, obviously. They have a wide variety of options from starters such as edamame with chilli and salt, yasai dumplings and garlicy wok fried greens. Then onto the mains which I struggle to pick from every time where you can have anything from Vegan katsu curry, Yasai pad thai, Tofu Harusame glass noodle salad and more!

Nando's - Funnily enough there are a few options you can get at Nando's! Starting with their amazing peri-peri houmous and pitta, spiced olives and spicy nuts! There are a few burgers to choose from such as sweet potato and butternut burger and the super grain burger which you can get on a burger, wrap or pitta, just make sure you ask for no mayo. You can also go for the supergrain salad without the dressing or the quinoa salad just leave out the feta and add some extra houmous or avocado! You can also dig into sides such as chips, garlic bread or chargrilled veg!

Las Igunanas - There are a good range of options to choose from at Las Igunanas! While you wait there are plenty of chips and dips to pick from! Then dive into the various South American cuisines such as Brazilian Monquea De Palmitos (a butternut squash, palm hearts, fine beans and spinach coconut curry). Head to Mexico with a veggie chilli or Portobello mushroom fajitas. Peru and beyond where you can please your taste buds with Fiesta Ensaladas and Green quinoa salads! Choose from mango sorbet or tembleque (a creamy coconut pudding with berries and mango puree)

I very rarely talk
about my past or mental health anymore which isn't because I'm ashamed or
don't want to talk about it but more because my life has moved on a lot since
then. Recently however I have been thinking about how far my life has come,
especially this year and it's sparked something in me which I feel I need to
talk about.

One of the main
purposes for my blog was to help and inspire as many people as I could, especially when I was suffering with a lot of mental health illness. I knew I had a lot of people reading who were also suffering with similar things.

When I look back to even a year ago and seeing how much I have overcome actually overwhelms me.
I can now sit here and say I have fully recovered from anorexia which is something I honestly believed I'd never say. Due to this, I think part
of me wants to simply move on and forget it ever happened, hence why I
have been so quiet on the mental health front. The thing is you can't just
forget a good 5 years of your life. So rather than me seeing it in a negative
light, I see it in a positive one. My eating disorder taught me so much more
than I could ever imagine and made me into the strong, determined woman I am
today. It's given me so much pride in myself to know I overcame her.

Taking that into
account, I'm not going to just suddenly be quiet about it. I
want to use what I have been through to show everyone out there who may be
battling with this life threatening disorder, that no matter how much you
believe you will never overcome it, you CAN and you WILL. I spent years of my
teenage years believing that I was going to be stuck in that place forever, so
much self hate, guilt and obsession. In fact I remember claiming that I would
never recover. That I would just learn to deal with it which is what I think a
large amount of people believe in any mental illness. With my eating disorder
came anxiety and I suffered badly with panic attacks, I'd convinced myself they
were just things which were part of me. They practically became my identity and
honestly, I had no clue who I was without them. With that belief gave me no
chance of moving forward.

Over the past 6
months my life has changed a lot and weirdly enough letting go of the belief I
was always going to have a eating disorder, was the one thing that truly
allowed me to recover. There is one hypnotherapy session I had where it
suddenly clicked, the reason I couldn't move forward in life was because I was
telling myself I couldn't move forward. I was 'Hollie the girl with anorexia'
and I continuously worried about my future, about relapsing, about passing my
terrible habits and traits onto my children, about never finding anyone who
could 'put up with me'... It was a never ending cycle which was causing me more
harm than good. I was still giving doubt to my body and she was only responding
in one way. So, I let it go. I told myself I didn't have an eating disorder.
That I wasn't going to go back. That my future was no reflection of the past. I
could love someone and they could love me. I could have a family and be a role
model to my children. It sounds crazy but by confirming this to my subconscious
mind was almost like telling my body she could trust me and with that she
responded.

I'm not saying that
things are going to change overnight, the physical part of my recovery took a
few years to get my health back in a good place which is still not perfect. 7
years of damage sadly isn't going to fix in a few months. For years I suffered
with multiple health issues which made the whole process extremely hard,
especially mentally. Yet again, as soon as I let the idea go that Anorexia was
my indienity, weirdly enough 2 days later my period came back. I feel like all
my body ever wanted was for me to be at peace with her.

Like I said further
up in the post, everything I have fought through has led me to where I am today
and because of that I want to use it to give other people that hope. 2 years
ago I thought my life was over, now in 2 months I am moving to go to university,
something I had always dreamed of doing.

I asked on twitter
and Instagram if you wanted to see a series of blog posts based around eating
disorders covering my experience, the reality, tips for family and friends etc.
Basically a form of hope and the realistic behind what it is actually like living
with an eating disorder and living with someone who has a eating disorder. To
my surprise the response for these posts was extremely high. So I feel like
it's my time, to give my heart into the world and show you truly can overcome
whatever challenge you're facing. I promise.

Let me know if there
are any topics/subjects you would like me to cover.