haiku 2 (one-a-day)

This is the sequel to red Ravine’s haiku (one-a-day),a practice born from reading Clark Strand’s Seeds from a Birch Tree: Writing Haiku and the Spiritual Journey during a year-long Writing Intensive with Natalie Goldberg in Taos, New Mexico.Last year we had a great response from our readers to the practice of writing a haiku or senryu each day, and wanted to continue the practice into the New Year.

The idea for the sequel post came after doing further research on the history of haiku. This year’s challenge is to co-create and build on the poems of other haiku writers, a kind of word play running through the poetic forms of tanka and renga.

haiku & senryu (part one)

Haiku uses simple, direct language, words that evoke a season, and usually incorporates a cutting or pivot word, so that one half of a haiku seems to speak to the other. According to Patterns In Poetry, haiku is closely tied to the Japanese aesthetic of Yugen and the spirituality of Buddhism. It is written in a 17-syllable form (usually three lines of 5-7-5) that looks deceptively simple. Yet if you read the work of the masters like Basho, Buson, and Issa, wandering poets who lived during Japan’s Edo-period (1600-1868), it becomes clear that the practice of haiku can take years to master.

Senryu is similar to haiku but strays from seasonal or nature themes. According to Simply Haiku, senryu focuses on people and portrays characteristics of human beings and foibles, and the psychology of the human mind. Senryu can express human misfortunes or the hardships of humanity, and even when they depict living things or inanimate objects, human attributes are emphasized.

What both haiku and senryu have in common is that they derive from a form of Japanese court poetry called tanka.

Characteristics of haiku:

17 syllables, 3 lines (with variations for language differences)

Simple, direct, non-metaphorical language

Captures a transitory insight or moment in time called satori or the aha moment

Contains a kigo, an image of nature that evokes a particular season

Contains a cutting or pivot word that turns the movement of the poem

Based on experience, speaks of the common, in the moment, just as it is

tanka (part two)

Tanka, the oldest Japanese poetry form, was often written to explore religious or courtly themes and had a structure of five lines with a 5-7-5-7-7 syllable structure. One person would contribute the first three lines (5-7-5) of the tanka, and a different author would complete the poem by composing a 7-7 section and adding a pivot point such as in this tanka from George Knox at Aha! Poetry:

in the check-out line
a worn face ahead of me
turns tentatively. . .
realities of desire
fade in final reckoning

The use of a pivot word is a beloved technique from tanka, still being used after 1,300 years, in that form and its much younger grandchild — haiku (only 3 centuries old).

One of the trademarks of a tanka (besides the traditional five lines of 5-7-5-7-7 onji — syllables) is a short poetic statement depicting nature (here it may seem much like something you could call a haiku) which is linked to a designated feeling or emotional attitude of the author. This latter aspect is a basic one dividing the two forms today.

By expressing emotional feelings tanka affirms a connectedness between something unseen but real — our feelings — with the observable world around us. Tanka gives the mind a picture which can, if it is successful, joins for and evokes a felt emotional state.

Characteristics of tanka

31 syllables, 5 lines

Write the first section of a tanka (5-7-5), similar to a haiku.

Another person picks up the first 3 lines and writes a response (or continuation) by composing two lines of 7-7 syllables.

Can reflect nature or lean toward senryu

Emotional, contemplative, imaginative, reflective, written to be chanted

Here’s a final example of classic tanka from the same site, translated from the Kokinshu by Donald Keene, and written by Anonymous:
Because there was a seed
A pine has grown even here
On these barren rocks:
If we really love our love
What can keep us from meeting?

-tanka by Anonymous

renga (part three)

Renga (linked elegance) is a form of linked poetry which evolved from tanka, the oldest Japanese poetry form. In renga’s 800 year history it has gone through many ideological changes. (And it was Basho who, after 500 years, snipped off the first three lines of renga to form haiku.)

In renga, one person would often contribute the first three lines (5-7-5) of the poetic chain and a different author would complete the chain by composing a 7-7 section. Then another author would build on the previous 7-7, with another 5-7-5 passage. This chaining of verses or renga, could sometimes add up to hundreds of linked tanka.

The first part of the poem, called hokku or “starting verse,” frequently sets the tone for the rest of the poem, and the authors of hokku often earned the respect and admiration of their fellow poets. By the 19th century, largely through the work of Masaoka Shiki, hokku began to be written and read as individual poems. From the word hokku derives our word haiku.

Characteristics of renga:

Write the first section of a tanka (5-7-5), similar to a haiku. Hand this poem to another person.

Second person writes a response (or continuation) by composing two lines of 7-7 syllables. Then the second person hands off the completed tanka to a third person.

Third person writes another 3 lines of (5-7-5), beginning a new tanka

Continue in this way until you run out of time or feel that the poem is complete.

Contains a bridge or pivot point that links to the emotional element

Don’t try to force the storyline. When writing a response to the previous poem, focus only on the last section of the tanka, not the whole poem.

Think of each stanza as a springboard from which you are going to jump. The important thing to watch is what happens between the links.

haiku practice

Feel free to drop a haiku into this space anytime, day or night. Or join the word play and collaborative effort of tanka and renga. I’m a novice at the latter two; the first time I read about tanka and renga was when I started the research on this post. I thought it might be fun to explore these ancient forms of linked poetry, and see where the journey takes us.

Also, it’s okay to experiment, break form, and move out of the traditional structures. English syllables translate differently than onji. And according to Richard MacDonald (from his essay What is Tanka?), Japanese poetry is syllabic by nature and not metrical or rhymed, because like the French language, the Japanese language lacks stress accents.

There are different schools of thought about how rigid one should be in counting syllables. From what I have read, it is a matter of personal taste whether to stay close to the Japanese model, or stray from it for personal reasons or aesthetics in order to incorporate the heritage of the West into poetic work. The most important thing is to have fun with it. Last year’s practice was so enjoyable, I can’t wait to see the new collection we have by December!

I hadn’t thought about haiku for years (since grade school when we learned the strict 5-7-5 pattern). And then, at a Natalie Goldberg workshop two years ago, we read Seeds From a Birch Tree. You broke haiku open for me.

Now it is another source of writing I use to listen. To quiet myself. To become grounded.

You continue to amaze me, QM, with the patient, well-researched posts you provide and how much light they shed. Thank you.

I was struck by the definition for tanka and how haiku derived from it. Tanka seems like a conversation between two wise old friends. Interesting that the conversation between two came before the meditation of one.

Let me reiterate what breathepeace wrote…WOW – The Clark Strand? I think reading that book started a whole bunch of us down the haiku path. Thanks for “Seeds From A Birch Tree.”

I like the counting of syllables and the distillation of an scene into its essence.

alittlediddy, great job. QuoinMonkey, the best distillation of haiku, renga, and tanka that I have ever read (and I just finished a book on the subject). You took the complexity and made it much simpler. Thanks.

Like some of you here, my head is spinning. Lots of info!! I’m familiar with the haiku, senryu, and the tanka. However, the renga is more challenging as I’ve never written one before but have certainly contributed to one! lol

Thanks so much for all the kind words. I still write haiku, though only as a practice, and I publish little poetry. I have a small discussion group that meets Thursday nights in Woodstock, New York, where I’ve lived since 1996. That group was the inspiration for my next book, which comes out from Doubleday at the end of next month. Called HOW TO BELIEVE IN GOD: Whether You Believe in Religion or Not, it offers a post-tribal, mostly Buddhist reading of 30 of the most famous Bible passages and stories. Like Seeds from a Birch Tree, it contains a lot of nature writing.

I’m also starting a blog–WholeEarthGod.com–that’ll go online in a couple of weeks. It welcomes contributions from people of all faiths (or none at all). These days I spend the majority of my time writing or teaching about a subject I call “Green Meditation,” an environmental-based approach to spiritual practice which owes nearly everything to my years of haiku-writing practice. Great to see such wonderful things happening on this blog. Keep up the good work!

I’m looking forward to your new book; the title alone has me hooked. I am already “off the hook” for not understanding who/what God is. After decades of church attendance, I still don’t get it.

We have a wonderful bookstore in Minneapolis called Birchbark Books. It’s owned by the Ojibwe author, Louise Erdrich. I’ve called them, and have your book on pre-order. Thanks for mentioning to all your “Seeds” fans.

QM, thank you so much for your article. Great information. I’m going to experiment with tanka.
Clark, your book had a big impact on our writing intensive. I didn’t think I liked haiku so I didn’t think I’d like Seeds from a Birch. Ha. Surprise. I loved it. And I’ve been doing a daily haiku practice ever since, for over two years. What a delight to find you here on Red Ravine! And to have a chance to say thank you, thank you so much, for Seeds and for the gift of haiku.
I love seeing the haikus in this conversation thread. Here’s my contribution.

Clark, thanks so much for stopping by again. And for filling us in on your latest projects. We will definitely look for your book at the end of next month. And keep us posted on when your new blog goes live. ybonesy and I’d love to check it out and to keep our readers informed as well. I’m intrigued by the “Green Meditation” and how it sprang from your haiku practice. Again, thanks from ybonesy and I for your kinds words. I’m particularly heartened by seeing how a writer’s early work, such as your Seeds from a Birch Tree, continues to live on long after it is written. And how the early work informs the later work.

I also want to take a moment to extend my gratitude to Natalie Goldberg who introduced us to Clark Strand’s book (and countless other writers, poets, and artists). Everything she has taught me about having a practice, not only Writing Practice, but haiku, meditation, mandalas, art…whatever we make a practice…has given me so much ground, structure, and inspiration in my life. Deep Bow. Thank you.

Thanks, everyone, for embracing this new post. And thank you, yb and Bob, for your kind words about the distillation of centuries of history into this short blog post. I was telling yb yesterday what a difficult post it was to write. Partly because I am just getting familiar with these concepts myself. And partly, honing it down to one post. So I really appreciate that people are embracing trying the tanka, and, hopefully, moving on to the renga as we go along. It’s all new to me but I am having fun with it.

Bob, what book did you just finish about haiku, renga, tanka? I wondered if it was one of the ones that breathepeace left in a comment in mid-January (LINK). I want to purchase the ones she mentioned on haiku and poetry. (Oh, and just as a sidenote, the Silko book is one of my faves, well-written and the structure is so different than anything else I’ve read.)

From breathepeace’s comment:

“Haiku” from the Everyman’s Library Pocket Poets. Natalie Goldberg tipped me off to this one. The Japanese haiku section of the book is translated by R.H. Blythe, who Nat thinks is THE best. The book also includes sections of both traditional and modern Western haiku.

“The Triggering Town” by Richard Hugo. Subtitled “Lectures and Essays on Poetry and Writing, it is a small but mighty volume. Every writer should read this book. It’s that good.

In January, I finished “Ballistics,” a good poetry book by Billy Collins and I’m now reading “Ceremony” by Leslie Marmon Silko, which is excellent fiction, written in an unconventional form without chapters.

Awesome post. I’ve read the Silko book, too, and it is an all time favorite. I just put breathepeace’s other recommendation into my library’s hold system. So it looks like I’ll have some yummy reading in a few days. Thanks.

I wanted to come back to this post & I must say, this is so new to me. I’m really looking forward to this new feature!
Thanks to QM & Clark Strand for introducing me to these practices! I have written many haiku, but now I want to do more & more!
Love this! D

Last night our Poetry Group celebrated 1 year of reading poetry and sitting in silence together. The last poet to round out the year was Billy Collins. These 3 haiku sprang from the silence between poems. I scribbled them down with a Space Pen in a lime green SuperGirl notepad I borrowed from Liz. Gratitude to the lineage of poets and writers who came before us.

[…] Gratitude to all who have loved. And Happy Valentine’s Day to our readers, straight from the heart. A few more related posts, and more thoughts on love: Valentine (Nebraska), Goodnight Valentine’s, valentine haiku, WRITING TOPIC: KINDS OF LOVE, haiku 2 (one-a-day). […]

diddy and Robert, both delightful tanka coming out of my original haiku.

I love the humor, and yes Robert, it would be worse to walk earless, wouldn’t hear the birds and the horses, they always greet us with loud snorts. Although I felt a bit like I was resenting my ears by the end of the walk, they were hurting so much.

diddy, Sony would love pie or cake made of digested grass. And my big dogs love to roll in it. What could be the appeal? I wonder.

ybonesy and all, there’s a new comment thread feature from WordPress that I just turned on. It might help with the haiku, tanka, renga threads in this post. Let’s see how we like it. It does seem to confuse some of the old comments though. With the new feature, you have to reply to the post of the person you are speaking to in order to get the nest. Not sure if we’ll like it yet or not. I’m replying now to a haiku from diddy from a few days ago. Well, we’ll try it out! Our readers can let us know if they like the comment threading. I think it’s supposed to help with the fact that they took the numbered comments away.

——————

staring at fire flames
dancing to the harmony
lost in the music
chimney draft, a single spark
escapes into the dark night

ybonesy and readers, I just tried the new comment thread feature on a tanka reply to a haiku from diddy from the February 17, 2009 at 9:42 pm. It took the comment and moved it up about 5 days back. Not sure if I’m going to like that the comments are jumping around in time with the nesting. The time jumps are confusing. Seems like continuing linear commenting but adding the thread line might be more helpful. May turn the threading off again. We’ll see after today.

[…] Postscript: For those of you in Albuquerque, you can get Entenmann’s Donuts in chocolate, powdered sugar, or glazed at Keller’s Farm Stores. -related to posts WRITING TOPIC — VELVEETA CHEESE and haiku 2 (one-a-day). […]

@_@ <— My shocked expression, except that that this time, it’s a mild one. I thought something had happened to the comments section until QM explained what happened. Thanks for the heads up! To be perfectly honest, I like the comment feature before all of that. lol

A~Lotus, yes, I agree. So does ybonesy. We went back to our old comment thread. The nesting is too confusing because it jumps around in time. Too hard to follow once you get a number of comments going. It also looks a lot cleaner without the nesting. So it’s back to business as usual!

oliverowl, yes! I’m keeping the renga going.
_________________

6 inches of snow
tufts of white blow off branches
kindling spring fever…
longing to feel warmth again
with eyes closed I picture you

hiking Midwest woods
walking stick made of ironwood
punches through the ice…
piercing into a cold heart
that will not accept my love

[…] course would be to allow the Virgen to become the tree, as she is already. -related to posts haiku 2 (one-a-day), Mary In Minnesota (haiku for yb), Virgin Mary Sightings, and The Virgin Mary Appears On A […]

[…] One of my dearest friends is from Artesia, and I can tell you that there’s a lot of goodness in this place. Generosity is produced here. -related to posts PRACTICE: Roadside Attractions – 15min, WRITING TOPIC — ROADSIDE ATTRACTIONS , and haiku 2 (one-a-day). […]

Oh, boy, Robert, we are still in winter’s slammer, too! It’s -2, icy and slick and snowy, and the wind howled all night long. It’s good to imagine that it’s Spring in another part of this country and the world.

Thanks to all who visit here. I so enjoy waking up every morning and reading new haiku, tanka, renga. It’s a great gift that you keep coming back!

________________________

crystals of cracked ice
sitting between two windows
contemplating Spring

QM and breathepeace: Beautiful haiku! I think we all got the haiku/senryu fever going on as we are all walking in the same universe! Once again, I wrote a haiku that has the “moon” in it, just like the both of you!! I wrote it while playing with my magnetic words on my board a few minutes before I left work to go home. How cool is that?

A~Lotus, it’s true, isn’t it? How we often write about the same things in nature, from opposite ends of the world, because nature works the same everywhere, bless her heart. Thank goodness for something that consistent and grounding around us. 8)

8) QM, I love feeling grounded. In a sense, I’m sure the use of nature in haiku is the “ground” for all kinds of life. I mean, if you look at the bible, God created the land to ground things on something that is fluid (sea). So, if the Japanese wrote haiku for hundreds of years, it is the ground for equilibrium, balance, and things that are not chaotic. It nurtures a sense of peace(fulness) and unity.

I hope that made sense to you! I just happen to get those Eureka moments where everything just clicks and fits together like a puzzle! lol 😛

I think Robert owns the art of senryu with his sense of humor in the human condition and human nature. 8)

@QM: I am soooo ready for NaPoWriMo (for National Poetry Writing Month) myself! This will be my second time doing this challenge–a poem a day! Woohoo! 🙂 And plus, I’ll still be doing this haiku/senryu/renga challenge as well!

—————————————-

vernal equinox
morning freshness through the soul
sunburst in our eyes;
New Moon, stars out of hiding
blink across the Milky Way.

@QM: For the last photo of the previous Haiku Daily Challenge, what is that tree called, if you don’t mind me asking? I’m trying to write a poem and it is somewhat significant as I dreamt about a tree like that during my nap today. I’d like to know! Thank you! 8) Once I finish with this poem, I’ll share it with you and yb. 🙂

A~Lotus, the tree in red Ravine’s Haiku (one-a-day) (LINK) from last year is a river birch or water birch. There are several kinds of birches and this one likes to be in swampy areas or near water. I love the scaly, papery bark on the river birches. It’s in sharp contrast to some of the smoother bark on the white birch. I read you can make syrup from the insides of the river birch. And I’ve written poetry on some of the bark that has peeled off. It makes good paper in a pinch! Look forward to your poem when you complete it. Dreaming of the river birch sounds like a good way to spend a nap. 8)

@QM: Yes, I had a dream of a birch tree while I was sleeping. I would say that it was an interesting, yet surreal experience. More details to follow once I tidy up my poem so that it could make some sense! 😉 It’s kind of hard to find the right words though, so I’m still playing around with this particular poem. Thank you so much for the link to the previous ‘ku challenge and the info about birch trees! Interestingly enough, I have a river birch at the hospital where I work at. I’d always wondered what it was called! Now I know. 8)

A~Lotus, I really like that last tanka written for the NAMI Walk in May. What a worthy cause. There is so much stigma connected to all forms of mental illness. I didn’t know the National Alliance on Mental Illness sponsored walks like that. I wish you well toward reaching your goal.

______________

blows of the wind
knock over hopeful heart once
again, edge of seat
giving in, I forge ahead
reality takes me there

@QM: Yes, there is so much more to mental illness. It’s only that I started working at a psychiatric hospital that I realize the sad reality of mental illnesses and disorders. And yes, I’m so excited about this event!

A~Lotus, I admire that you are doing that kind of work. I’ve been researching a little of the history of psychiatric hospitals and we have come a long way from the past. You are walking for a good cause.

@QM: Get some rest! I can imagine what a week it must have been for you! *hugs* By the way, lovely tanka! Lovely ending! Now I’m going to see a way if I can continue it so it could be a renga. We’ll see as I find it sometimes it’s too beautiful without continuation! 😀 8)

@QM: Issa’s work is wonderful! I’m glad you posted one for our reading pleasure.

On a much heavier note, this is the second time that this has happened to me this month. Today has been a frustrating day, but I am very fortunate to have it happen at the right time, right place, and there’s the right kind of people helping me change my tire!!

Hope you notice my pun in this Easter season! 8) And happy Easter to all!

A~Lotus, I hope it worked out with your flat tire! I had one about a month ago. I seem to run over a nail ever once in a while. But I have that Emergency Roadside Service so that really helps in those situations. BTW, I did get your Easter pun. Pretty clever with the nail.

@QM: I’m glad you enjoyed the birch tree poem! Lately, I’ve been so fascinated with it as I always see it outside my window at work. And yes, I did have my tire fixed and all. Here’s to knocking on wood that I won’t get another flat!

I really like the third senryu. It is so peaceful. I need to take a labyrinth walk. I haven’t done so since I graduated from uni 2 years ago! And now, you’ve inspired me to reflect on my experiences with the labyrinth at my uni. I may write a haiku/senryu on it and post it on Twitter or something… 😉

Robert Morse, you’re back! I was just thinking about you the other day and wondering if you were still writing the haiku.

A great statement about recent developments in popular culture with Idol and Susan Boyle. I was listening to an NPR show at noon yesterday about her appearance and how some want to make her over. I think she is fine the way she is. No artifice, no layers — she stands exactly as she is.

A~Lotus, that last one is dark. Was it really a nightmare?

_______________

wind no longer blows
the lone rustle of tree tops
to my waiting ears

calm April morning
two squirrels chatter in the oaks —
me, clacking the keys

@QM: No, I didn’t have a nightmare, but goodness, you should’ve heard the commotion in the neighbor’s backyard! I think there were several dogs fighting–very ferociously in fact! I don’t know if any other neighbors heard it! I mean, here I was happily sitting enjoying the silence while reading my book, when everything erupted! That sure gave me the jolt! I like the tanka completion. 8)

A~Lotus, thanks for holding down the haiku post. 8) So great to see all your haiku. Tough call on the edited ikebana. Different lines change the meaning slightly. It’s fun to mess around with the editing. That last one is great — flesh of grapefruit.

breathepeace and laura, great to see your haiku here. Love it when you stop by.

I was out of town at a short writing retreat last weekend. Took a break from electronics. Am not quite back in the flow of life yet. It’s so jarring to come home sometimes. I’ve got some clear goals. Now to get going on them.

Robert Morse, I like that one! You have such a distinct style with your haiku.

A~Lotus, I didn’t know what a tuberose was so had to look it up. The tuberose (Polianthes tuberosa) is a perennial plant of the agave family Agavaceae, extracts of which are used as a middle note in perfumery. I love how it sounds in Vietnamese.

We did a bunch of yard work yesterday and it felt so good to be out in the yard. We are both quite sore today though. Used muscles I didn’t know I had. 8)

____________

winged friends abound
wasp lingers near the window
itching for a sting

@QM: Every now and then I slip in bits of my language. It is a way to get connected to my language and culture. I’m glad you like it! 8)

I can imagine all the gardening must be really tiring!! I once did yard work with my family clearing out stuff from the garage and throwing away branches from the backyard from our old house. Now THAT was hard work!! So I can imagine!

A~Lotus, I love the “sipping cup of full moon” haiku. Your Mother’s Day tribute is wonderful as well.

BTW, I plan to keep up the haiku practice during the short vacation ybonesy and I are taking. So I will be dropping them in here. It’s a good way to stay connected. I really appreciate that you stop by and look forward to your practice. 8)

I hope you and Yb have a wonderful time on your vacation! 8) I’ll be enjoying my break from school! I sooo need a mental vacation. Looking forward to both of your frequent drop-ins! 🙂 I’ll still be leaving little treasures here. 🙂 I sort of adopted this place as my sanctuary. I love writing with you and Yb!! It’s been a wonderful journey!! Take care!

I’ve been busy these past several days and did not get a chance to post in here, but I did write at least a haiku/senryu every day. I’m just glad that today is one of those lazy Sundays when I could just do things at my own pace! 8) Hope everyone is having a good weekend!

Thanks. Tanka is a good prescription for writers, i.e. almost all of us, who suffer from time to time from “blank page” or “blank screen” syndrome. If you write tanka, there is already something ON the page. Of course, it helps to have something well-written to work from which I certainly did in this case. I’ve only tried two so far. I may try more in the future.

QuoinMonkey,

I just reread the lines you added to create the tanka I started. Great word play!

We asked young writers around the country to submit haiku connected to the work of Frank Lloyd Wright. Haiku, like Wright’s work, is a poetic expression of our relationship to nature and the seasonal cycles of life.

“What Wright does in his architecture is make poetry. He makes images that people can relate to and he makes buildings that celebrate the various purposes for which they were designed.”—Neil Levine

[…] has officially launched. This is a call for entries to share your essays, short stories, poems, haiku, watercolors, oils, photographs, and music about envy. One of you will win a new Amazon Kindle. And […]

the heron’s wing
brushes the morning moon
spring’s passing
summer vacation
stretching legs out to land

I happened to click over to the haiku page today and was so happy for the reminder about Clark Strand’s book which has been sitting on my shelf, largely unread for too long now. Time to pick it up! Time to write more haiku!

pandora1022, thanks for joining us here. Hope you enjoy Clark Strand’s book that you plan to pull off the shelf. It was a thrill to have him comment here at the beginning of this post. Hope you’ll keep visiting here and leaving your haiku!

Raining here now at home, the visit to camp (We sold it, knowing health issues no longer made it our retirement dream. But, we sold to an awesome man that has become a great friend). Our neighbors there all got together & we are going back next week-end after I return from another visit to see my family. We had a great time! The man who bought our place has also made us an extra key, as we had turned ours over to him. What a good day we had! Very relaxing & probably too much info in the haiku post. D

@QM and breathepeace: Thank you both! I’m glad you liked “splitting money”! That tanka in particular was somewhat difficult to write, but in the end, it was worth it. 8) I too enjoy both of your haiku.

QM, not sure what happened to Harry, but Mary must miss him. They were here when we moved into this house. I remember their baby catbirds, who perched in one of our hemlock trees last year. I would imagine they have returned as well. D

QM — no lessons needed. Just rent a kayak like I did and jump in on a calm lake. That’s all you need for a lesson … unless you’re trying Lake Superior, the ocean or a raging river, in which case you’d want to know how to roll the thing. The only caution is, once you try it, you may want to own a kayak.

QM: ‘searching for wild mind’ is wonderful.
Hi everyone, I see you’ve all kept creatively busy. As for me:

On cyber-ocean
sometimes make landfall only
once in a long while.

Have been on my travels, through other syllables and spaces. But just wanted to let you know that the Red Ravine Haiku Ripple continues to spread. I have some pre-intermediate (and that is LOW level English) Japanese students this week, so I threw them into English haiku (Japanese version optional) to see what would happen. The URL for the results follows – I think they’d be chuffed as anything if one or two of you could find it in your hearts to comment on anything they wrote – comments in pre-intermediate English of course [or Japanese], and preferably in the form of haiku! – they are all about 18 or so (except one Italian lady), and who knows if one of them might at that tender age be precipitated into the arms of poetry for a lifetime!

stranger, so great to hear from you. And what a fantastic job you have. I just stopped by your blog and left a few comments. Some really wonderful haiku there. I hope other red Ravine readers who write haiku with us here will check them out. I’m curious how the experience was for the Japanese students (and one Italian!) to write haiku in English, since, of course, the art form has been alive in their country for thousands of years. Would love to hear more about it. Maybe I’ll stop by your site at a later time and turn one of their haiku into a tanka (though I’m pretty new at tanka).

ybonesy is out of the country in Vietnam. I’ll be sure to make sure she sees this when she gets back. (Or she might on her check-in but her time logged in is limited.) I’m so appreciative that you stopped by, stranger, on a haiku ripple. 8)

It’s almost 1:30am where I am. I am indeed exhausted, but thrilled to know that I have finally finished summer school! However, I am awake and extremely thirsty for poetry or anything creative and artistic! 😛 I have missed this place and can finally return! However, in my absence from here, I am still practicing my Daily Haiku Challenge. However, I have stretched it to include tanka, senryu, six-word stories, American sentences, and micropoetry. The process of writing short forms of poetry is fascinating since I tend to be rather wordy and hence, write rather lengthy poems. Nevertheless, this haiku journey is so fruitful, and I am happy to say how we collaborate and share our work on here–it’s magnificent and profound. I am learning so much from all of you and look forward to spend a few minutes on here everyday if I can.

@94stranger: I have visited your site and am pleased to read your students’ haiku. I love the simplicity of them; for some, I like their keen observation. Thank you so much for sharing the haiku experience with us. 8)

And now for a few of my haiku, senryu, and tanka since I haven’t posted here for a while now. Please enjoy!

———————————

in sepia photos
I still think of you
wrapped in honeybee scents
humming over the river
lost in your apostrophes (tanka)

sky parenthesis
a flock of black wings through silver
streams of clouds

falling down in
exclamation points
only the rain
can demand such attention
before getting lost in puddles (tanka)

on my chest
a blank journal counts my breaths
during my sleep

summer playtime
I find myself
among matted wings of bats
the tree and I
play shadow puppets (tanka)

Thanks QM and others who’ve dropped by – I really appreciate. Don’t know exactly what the Japanese hieroglyphics are – a ‘free translation’ of the English, as far as I know.

I was re-reading QM’s preface to the original haiku launch last year, and I think it’s true and very strange how this focus on the outer in some bizarre way becomes an activator of the inner – I don’t pretend to understand it, but I feel it.
I’m writing a little poetry, not haiku by and large, and again it’s intriguing how the effort of conforming to a strict rhythm and rhyme scheme, which ought to be purely a constraint, can nevertheless be a liberation. Anyone know why?

I think the liberation comes from knowing the structure. Once Natalie decided what the structure for “Bones” was, to paraphrase her liberally, she was able to let it rip. Knowing the structure, rather than being a limitation, can open things up.

stranger, thanks for stopping by again. It was a pleasure to visit your site and see all the haiku from your Japanese students. Thanks for bringing it to our attention.

About your question, Robert Morse is exactly right. The liberation comes from the actual structure. The concept seems at odds but that’s what works.

I learned about structure in two places: one was from Natalie Goldberg (as Robert Morse mentions) around my writing. The other was in art school at MCAD and with my professors there. They taught me that in order to deviate and break structure in my art, I first needed to learn how the masters did it. Once I learned the history of art and photography, the structure of the way others created, I was free to break it.

Of course there are tons self-taught artists who go about learning about art differently and do brilliant work. There are many ways to learn and that was just the way I was taught.

With the writing, it was Natalie who really drove it home for me. I learn the structure of Writing Practice, or haiku, slow walking or meditation, work within those structures for a long time (even though I want to rebel against them), then I get to break them and make them my own.

The truth is I always go back to the structure when I get stuck, am feeling down, or like my writing or art isn’t worth a darn. The structure keeps me going through hard times. The structure frees me up to work within it. Odd but true.

Sorry to go on so long about it but it reminded me that this blog that ybonesy and I created all these years ago now was created around a structure we learned about writing. One that we learned, believed in, and wanted to pass on to others. And now we break it in all kinds of ways. But usually always go back.

I’m grateful to all who visit and participate on red Ravine. I learn so much from all of you. Deep gratitude.

I really have some catching up to do! So much travel this summer…all enjoyable. Thanks, QM, for your haiku written after my trip to yours and Liz’s home…made me smile. I drove home this Saturday from Cheyenne, in rain showers, inspiring this haiku:

lotus, so glad summer school is over for you. Will you be starting a new semester in the Fall? Or are you done? I also appreciate when you stop by here and leave your poetry. It’s a gift. I’ve seen your work on Twitter as well and know your poetry practice is going strong! [BTW, like how you completed the tanka on community.]

Feroza, so great to see you on red Ravine. And thanks for leaving your haiku here. Hope you stop by again.

breathepeace, no kayak lessons needed, eh? That is good to know. I guess we’ll just have to take a chance and dive into one of the lakes here like you have done. May not happen this summer. But maybe next.

stranger, thanks for stopping by again. One other thing about practice and structure — it can be anything. It can be haiku, writing practice, mandalas, painting. Anything we practice regularly takes us new places, helps us through when times get lean. And something like haiku or writing practice can enrich our art practices. It’s so great how it works that way. It’s all a cycle.

[…] -related to too many posts to mention them all, but here are few: Birthday Of Mabel Dodge Luhan, Sunrise On Taos Mountain (Reflections On Writing Retreats), Sitting in Solidarity, A Taste Of Ghost Ranch, and haiku 2 (one-a-day). […]

@QM: It was a short break. I am now starting school again this week (for the fall)! LOL. Looks like I may be in school for years to come. I’m glad you like the community tanka; that’s how I feel whenever I come to visit you and everyone else here on red Ravine. 8) It’s become one of my favorite homes online. I’m glad you say my poetry is a gift. It is something I have learned to accept because I want to be able to write poetry for the mental health/psychiatric field because for them words and emotions go so strongly together, and I hope the words I write will heal those who are in pain.

Here are a few psychologically charged ones I’ve written:

brushing over
these thorny bushes
my hands
now remember how they felt
when you abused me (tanka)

couple arguing
in the distance
thunder claps

with strong hands
grandfather used to chop sugarcane
into toothbrushes
but now his hands are too stiff
to mime how tall I’ve grown (tanka)

And to lighten the heavy atmosphere a bit:

in our front yard
a splendid thousand suns
the orange tree

from the bird bath
taking a little sip
a stray dog

Chinese buffet
sparrows line up
at the entrance
pecking on
scattered fried rice and sesame seeds (tanka)

Nice work, A~Lotus. I’m drawn to the grandfather and sugar cane one. And the Chinese buffet. I’m glad you are broaching painful subjects in your work. Poetry seems a good place to do that. I have no doubt your work will be healing for others.

Can not believe you are back in school already. Is it daunting to know you’ll be in school for some time to come? I remember when Liz was back in school for 2 years and working full-time. She felt like it took her a long time to complete her classes but she stuck with it and graduated. What a joyful day that was.

I’m glad this is one of your homes away from home on the electronic page. Remember to keep breathing when you’re rushing from class to work to class!

Hi QM, yb, a~ lotus, et al,
It was nice to visit Red Ravine and then see your VERY informative piece on Haiku,QM. Next time I teach poetry, I’ll send students to the site… It was good to see Clark on there too.. “Seeds” really taught me a lot about practice and sitting. I’m supposed to revise a “feminist” article I wrote about silence, into one about the strengths of silence… And I will draw on our intensive to write about that– but alas, I think they want me to make it scholarly… so I’ll send the meditative piece to you all, if you’ll consider it… well, first of all it is nice to still be alive after the scare the doc gave me in the Spring.. I’m taking my chemo in Hawaii and there is something about Hawaii that inspires Haiku. So I wanted to add a few more after today’s gorgeous sunset. When I was “diagnosed” for the second time this past spring, I wanted to change my spiritual memoir to”Prayers and Practices for survival,” to “Bad God: Loving God for Better or for Worse.” Maybe I’ll get on Clark’s site and put some of my thoughts down. And just after QM’s comment I happened to drive past a Kayak store! I thought one only kayaked on the Rio Grande… And as we speak, write, our colleagues are sitting in Maybel’s zendo.. send some love for us to Georgia’s blue flowers:

Anyway,

my dancing orchids
each day, twist and turn to face
the shifting sun

the august sun
hits the water while i chase
the elusive green flash

(QM, someday you have to photograph that– if you can actually catch it– in its split second)

the water kisses the sky
on the distant southern horizon
in a jealous green flash

I have a vast expanse of ocean outside my window, a view I’m likely to loose again, like I lost the one of the watermelon Sandias, because someone is building a many million dollar house with an elevator. But on one side the view from Pearl Harbor and the airport towards Waikiki will stay and I can watch the cruise ships go by.

mock orange fragrances
the night time drizzle
aromatherapy for a summer evening

@QM: I am glad you are enjoying my work just as I’m enjoying yours. 8) It is an interesting journey to be able to write what is painful although sometimes the pain (of whatever that may be) has never been my personal experience. For example, if the pain is about cancer, I would like to write about that even if I have not experienced it myself. It is my hope to reach out to others that way. 🙂

It is sometimes daunting to think about how many more years I’ll be in school. But since I already have a degree in psych, I’m only going forward to pursue nursing school. After that, I want to be done BEING in school, but not necessarily be done with education itself. After all, education is a lifelong process. I think some people forget about that fact. And yes, sometimes we have to stick to things in order to see the end of the tunnel! lol

@Feroza Jussawalla: Thank you for continuing to join us in this writing journey. Your writing is lovely. I will pray for your speedy and comforting recovery and rest. I am glad that you are finding writing and teaching something wonderful in your life. I think in the human experience, these two things are the oldest forms of human connection and strength. God bless.

Feroza, sending prayers and good energy to you in Hawaii. Thank you for leaving your beautiful poetry here. I imagine the ocean is a good muse. I think the strengths of silence are many, though silence seems harder and harder to come by in our world today. Sounds like a great topic. BTW, sun on water is indeed hard to photograph.

Wonderful to see all of your haiku here. I feel like I am among friends after writing haiku, senryu, tanka, renga with you for several years. Thanks breathepeace, oliverowl, Robert Morse, A~Lotus, diddy.

@QM and yb: Has it really been over a year since I’ve taken this writing journey with the both of you? Wow! Along the way, I’m learning so much from you both! It is amazing and never cease to be boring! I love how we share all our artwork within our writings too. The creative spirit is always nurtured that way–like how stories are nurtured and become more exciting around a bonfire or a campfire! That’s why I’ve adopted this place as my writing home as well. 8) It’s a way to rest from the stresses in life. I too am thankful and glad to join you ladies in this writing adventure/journey.

@Fug: Thank you for sharing your work with us. They all have lovely images, and some are profound. I enjoyed them immensely. 🙂

——————————-
My tanka for today:

riding a raft
out of a dead leaf
a caterpillar
swims upstream
towards a drainage pipe

A~Lotus, yes, can you believe it? Almost one full year has passed again. I’m glad you feel at home here. Because I’d sure miss you if you didn’t stop by. I appreciate your haiku and positive comments. Thank you.

Fug-azi, I enjoyed the haiku you left and hope you’re still writing. I like the “quarter light shadows” haiku. Hope you stop by again.

________

black cat sleeps on couch
shadows fall near the full moon
eyes droop with the weight

Fug-azi, I’m so glad you came back to add your haiku. And thanks to all who gave feedback. So wonderful to visit this thread of haiku writers. It has a calming influence on me.

A~Lotus, THANK YOU for getting the renga going again. It was what I had hoped to learn this year on this haiku post – the fine art of linking haiku and senryu with other haiku writers. And it’s only October, plenty of time to explore renga a little more.

Adding on to your tanka to keep renga going:

________________

black cat sleeps on couch
shadows fall near the full moon
eyes droop with the weight–
these heavy bags
that the heart carries

sun hides behind gray
burdens are what we make them
dark hinges on light

@QM: It’s wonderful to start writing more renga. After all, instead of NaNoWriMo this month, I’m doing a solo renga, which will have its own complete post on my poetry website. 8) I want to see how far I can go with the verses.

—————————————————–

One seagull feather
hairy sculptures of seagrass
piled up on the dunes;
lady bugs and beetles land,
shelter from the cold, coarse sand

found in the sand
someone lost a loved one–
this wedding band,
years of what could and could not
happen in a span of life

A~Lotus, the solo renga sounds challenging. What a great exercise and practice. Hope you’ll drop the link in for us.

Seraph, I always love it when new people join in the tanka and renga. It’s been fun this year to see what’s happened with this post. I’ve been churning over the new post for next year. We’ll see where it goes.

Keeping the renga going:

____________

One seagull feather
hairy sculptures of seagrass
piled up on the dunes;
lady bugs and beetles land,
shelter from the cold, coarse sand

found in the sand
someone lost a loved one–
this wedding band,
years of what could and could not
happen in a span of life

@Seraph: Here’s my link: http://alotus-poetry.livejournal.com. Scroll down to about 4 posts, and you can read a whole bunch of Japanese poetry and other short form poetry that I’ve been writing this year. As of now, I have over 500. Enjoy!

Walljasper, thank you. Hope your Holiday was wonderful as well. Really fun to have you here on the haiku post. It’s a joy for me when new people drop in. Adds so much to the practice. Moving into renga with your last tanka. Happy Friday.

[…] ybonesy wrote about art as play, community art, something dear to our hearts on red Ravine. The renga has heated up in the Daily Haiku. And we made plans to go to Lake Pepin in the Midwest writing group I am a part […]

Lotus, thank you! I’m really enjoying the three renga we’ve got going near the end of the year here. I enjoy writing with others in community. The poems go directions I would never otherwise think of. Hope you are well.

——————————————–

One seagull feather
hairy sculptures of seagrass
piled up on the dunes;
lady bugs and beetles land,
shelter from the cold, coarse sand

found in the sand
someone lost a loved one–
this wedding band,
years of what could and could not
happen in a span of life

@QM and everyone: I am doing well. I’m so glad that the academic semester is over, and now I have more time to enjoy and do things I WANT to do! 8) Then, there is Christmas! I can’t wait.

Yes, I too am enjoying this renga as it is coming to the end of the year. That is the beauty of it; you never know what to expect!
—————————————-
One seagull feather
hairy sculptures of seagrass
piled up on the dunes;
lady bugs and beetles land,
shelter from the cold, coarse sand

found in the sand
someone lost a loved one–
this wedding band,
years of what could and could not
happen in a span of life

Walljasper, it’s been a pleasure to meet you via red Ravine. I feel happy when others stop by this space and leave their poetry. Much gratitude. Sounds wonderful to have a Yorkshire Terrier. Sometimes we talk about getting a dog. But we’d need so much more space than this little cottage!

stranger, so happy to hear from you. Hope all is well! Thank you for stopping by!

Continuing renga with Walljasper:

___________

devouring time
underneath the work ethic
wolf in sheep’s clothing.
Toss a coin into a pond,
the ripples subside quickly.

That which glimmers bright
quietly fades from our sight,
we race the sunset.
Full throttle, going nowhere —
What remains? An empty shell.

oliverowl, you’re back! And with a Mr. Stripeypants haiku. I noticed your moon haiku, too. Yesterday the moon was glowing in a crystal blue winter sky. I think it’s near full at the New Year. It’s the time of year when light plays a huge role in health and making it through the dark winters here. Every day gets a little brighter. Wrote this one leaving work last night in the dark and walking the glassy parking lot to my car.

Happy New Year, lotus! And to all of our other haiku/tanka/renga writers. It’s sure been a fun year on this post. I’m chewing on the haiku post for 2010. I’m looking forward to the New Year. Hope it’s a little less stressful than last. Happy New Year!

[…] Script: I wanted to combine several of my yearly practices in this post on looking back. Above is a tanka I wrote on the trip to Georgia this year, the Reflection part of my Writing Practice on WRITING […]

[…] can find helpful links, definitions, and read more about the relationship between the forms in haiku 2 (one-a-day). Deep bows to Natalie and Clark. And to the poets who visit red Ravine, and help keep poetry […]

Hey QM & yb! I’ve missed you both! Yeah, I know I haven’t been around much! Work and life have gotten me busy–but in a good-busy-kind of way, you know. And next week, school starts (AGAIN!) for me! I can’t believe it. The time goes by so quickly! It feels like my vacation from school wasn’t long enough. Also, I have been working on applications to nursing school. Geez, it’s a long and tedious process (somewhat nerve-wrecking if you will), but I just really want to get in and get started already! I have 2+ years of experience with patients, and I’m more than ready!! It’s like I’m saying, “Pick me! Pick me! Pick me!” Here’s to hoping that I get in to at least ONE nursing school this year! Wish me luck!!

Thanks for your response, re: Carson McCullers. It makes me wonder if I created some confusion with my haiku. The initial quote is from THE HEART IS A LONELY HUNTER. I had that quote in mind when I wrote my haiku. I put single quote marks around it because I imagined the words being spoken by a police dispatcher, kind of an all-points bulletin.

Robert Morse, it’s a complex haiku. I know a little about Carson McCullers but haven’t read all of her work. I pulled off of that knowledge when I read it. But your explanation helps to gain more clarity. What do you think of her as an author? Just curious. I’d like to read more of her work.

_________

living in the North,
I’m drawn to Southern writers —
region of my birth

I have only read two of McCuller’s books, “HEART” and THE MEMBER OF THE WEDDING. I know that Natalie is very fond of her writing. She read from “The Ballad of the Sad Cafe” at the workshp of her that I attended. I saw the film of THIALH with Alan arkin and Sondra Locke. It deals with far fewer characters and incidents than the book.

She creates characters who linger in the mind after the book is finished. The ordinary is made extraordinary.

[…] find helpful links, definitions, and read more about the relationship between the poetry forms in haiku 2 (one-a-day). Deep bows to Natalie and Clark. And to the poets who visit red Ravine, and help keep poetry […]

Robert Morse, I remember that about Natalie. She loves Carson McCuller’s Ballad of the Sad Cafe and read to us from the book, too, when I first took workshops with her.

I had to look up THIALH as I didn’t know about it. Now I want to see the film. I agree with your assessment of her characters — they stick with you long after you put the book down. I find Flannery O’Connor to be that way, too. That’s a good writer, isn’t it?

I need to get going on the new haiku post for 2010. Still have not pulled it together yet, though I am still writing haiku. It grounds me. Always a pleasure when you stop by Robert Morse.

A~Lotus, wow, nursing school! You are ambitious. From what I know of you, you will be great at it. I have a friend who was a nurse but is now studying to be a doctor in Grenada. I’m always amazed at the great lengths our healthcare practitioners go to when becoming doctors and nurses. I admire and respect the work.

Today has been a beautiful, breezy day. It was a bit humid for the past couple of days. I was so sad about that, but waking up this morning with the wind howling through the house, I was skipping around like a kid! lol. It doesn’t get too wintry down here in Texas, so I love every moment of it when it IS cold and chilly!

Anyway, haiku has also been grounding me for the past 1 1/2 years, and I’m now renewing my practice for 2010, too! Another journey indeed! Can’t wait to see your 2010 haiku post, QM! Look forward to it actually!

Yes, I want to be a nurse, but ultimately, I want to have a doctorate in nursing. That way, I can contribute sound research and practice to the field and at the same time, helping people! Deep down, I still want to be a doctor (MD), but it’s going to take me too many years, and I do not have the finances to go to med school, so nursing is a great and FLEXIBLE field for me to be in the medical/healthcare field. Plus, I realize that I want to live my life–travel to places (since I haven’t gone anywhere outside the U.S.), do medical missions, publish a book, etc. So really, I am still learning how to live a good life!

A~Lotus, you have a great set of life goals there. I can see you accomplishing them all. I’m not fond of the humidity either. Don’t mind the heat. Just the wet humidity. I think it’s true what you say — we often have to learn, to teach ourselves, how to live a good life. And that looks different, depending on who we are.

________________

black cat sleeps nearby
naked oaks drenched in white rain
January thaw
wrapped around potted plants
old and new puddles

I like the idea Robert Morse, comments via haiku. Let’s try it. Great to see you breathepeace. Walljasper, I loved the Oracle/Sun/Micro haiku. And a Valentine from Robert Morse to Ann. Some great haiku.

________

under the weather;
Walljasper and Robert Morse,
thank you for the lift

[…] like I’ve accomplished a great deal. I know from past practices of writing, mandalas, and haiku, that yearly dedication to a craft can take you a long way. It can also drive you crazy! I thought […]

Response to an unsuspecting FB friend who posted “Oh… for a simpler time. ( a You Tube clip of Ford singing to a child). “I don’t suppose this would be on TV today for several reasons. Still, I’d love to have been the kid on Tennessee Ernie Ford’s lap!”

Walljasper and Robert Morse, I am totally on board! I love my haiku friends. And love keeping these renga going. It’s fun for me and grounding. I’ll be back later to add to the renga. Heading out soon to walk the labyrinth. Marylin and breathepeace, what’s going on with the snow in Wyoming? Though it is blustery, windy, and cool here. Last night there was thunder and hail when I was up late working on photos!