Friday, September 16, 2016

Why women are angry all the time

Why are modern women so aggressive? It's been called the dark side of equality - a surge in respectable women flying into violent rages for the most trivial reasons. Research has also found that women are significantly more likely to be verbally and physically aggressive to men than vice versa — something physicians are seeing more of in their clinics.

'We are treating more women than ever who are struggling to regulate their emotions and express themselves appropriately,' says Dr Monica Cain, a counselling psychologist at London's Nightingale Hospital.

So what is causing the red mist to descend for so many women? And why is this anger afflicting so many upstanding women, the sort you might hope would be immune to, or too ashamed of, having outbursts?

Some experts suggest women believe that such outward displays of aggression allow them to seize the initiative from traditionally dominant men. Whether it's in the workplace or around the dining table, shouting, swearing or throwing things are increasingly viewed as valid methods for women to assert themselves.

Dr Elle Boag, social psychologist at Birmingham City University, says: 'Women feel aggression is a form of empowerment. It has become so commonplace that it's not even shameful.'

As women hit menopause, they tend to get observably unhappier and angrier. However, Western society no longer permits men to keep middle-aged female anger under control any more than it permits them to restrain young female promiscuity.

Two observations. First, it's clearly not psychologically healthy behavior: I get heart palpitations and shake. Then I open my mouth without engaging my brain. I shout and use foul language I regret afterwards. It takes me a couple of hours before I can calm down.'

Second, it is milquetoast men who are enabling the self-destructive behavior. As mild-mannered as Jo is volatile, he's found that the best thing to do is to walk away and let the tantrum burn itself out.

The reason for the behavior is that this is what the unrestrained female psyche looks like. I would be willing to bet that there is no problem of violently angry women in Saudi Arabia, because a woman who acted that way would be badly beaten down by the first man she tried to provoke.

The irony is that this ridiculous, even infantile, behavior is not merely permitted, but enabled, by men. It's not necessary to physically slap down a perpetually angry woman. Simply telling her to "shut the fuck up" and then refusing to have anything to do with her when she's raging will suffice to inspire any woman who isn't literally off her rocker to control herself.

I don't accept verbal aggression from women. If it is directed at me, I respond to it in kind. Unsurprisingly, I very seldom encounter it. It may be useful to note that women cannot stand vulgarity or contempt as well as men can, so instead of matching their shrill tone or raised volume level, two things they can abide rather better than men, it will usually be more effective to use obscenities in a dismissive manner.

Protesting, "You're always shouting at me! Would you stop shouting!" is only going to launch an interminable high-volume argument about what "always" and "shouting" mean, whereas a dismissive "turn down the fucking volume" is much more likely to be met with a blessedly silent period of pouting. You can't fix their feelings, or their sense of the world's injustice, but you can certainly convince them to shut the hell up.

Take what victories are available to you. Soft-voiced obsequiousness is only going to further infuriate them. One thing I've noticed that accompanying every married rage-queen is a meek husband who never seeks to correct or control his angry wife.

And should they try to play the "you shouldn't use that language" card, simply respond with "don't use that fucking tone". Either communication is civil or it is not. Once one party has decided to forgo civil communication, they have lost any right to appeal to conversational etiquette. Treat a woman who speaks like a lady like a lady, and a woman who talks like a bitch like a bitch. It's her call.

57 comments:

Part of why post-menopausal women are angry is laugh-worthy. One paradox of "feminism" is that instead of suppressing the natural Hobbesian "state of nature" war between all women, it amplifies it. This causes young women to increase their displays, their posturing and all other outward attempts to claw their way above all women around them. Who are the women thus treated with the most contempt by younger women? Older women.

Add to this the fact that our "buy something" commercial culture uses sex to sell everything from autos to xylophones, and TV/movies have a hard-stop for including woman older than 35, and it's easy to see why every message in this commercial, sex-saturated, feminist-warfare culture tells post-menopausal women they're worthless. If that woman was stupid enough to forego children, or she f'ed up raising her kids, even the joy of grandkids will be absent.

OTOH, for the woman who had her priorities straight, landed a great hubby while she was at full bloom, treated him well, had kids, raised them well, post-menopause is just another stage of life with different joys, one being a lack of the youthful brakes on sexual enthusiasm (fear of pregnancy, or libido-killing hormone contraception or the buzz-kill mechanics of other contraceptive measures.)

A rich man or celebrity never knows if the willing woman is there for him or his trappings. The young woman whose sexual technique is off the charts may be (almost certain is) putting on nothing more than a show for the man, a form of playing him for the fool in order to gain pussy power over his mind. There's something to be said for a girl whose enthusiasm is extremely unlikely to stem from manipulative motives.

"U mad, bitch?" I can't recall a woman behaving that way towards me. Probably because they know I could break their face and pound them into the dirt if I wanted to. I imagine laughing at a visibly upset woman and telling her to take a chill pill would only make things worse.

My older brother, a very quiet and soft-spoken man, was married to just such a woman. She was a good 5 years younger than him, about my age (I was 20) and she totally dominated him by yelling and swearing at him whenever she didn't get her own way, over the smallest thing.

I visited for a couple of weeks holiday about a year after they were married. It took about half a day for her to try it on me. I got right up in her face, yelled as loud and deep as I could: "Shut the fuck up!!!"

She never did it to me ever again. She was polite, restrained, even deferent.

To me.

She treated my brother the same until the day she left him for one of his "best friends", a guy who treated her like a used condom.

I could never explain that kind of behaviour until I started reading about game and particularly here.

I have observed and developed a bit of a social theory I call the "strongman". Basic premise is that if I was going to irrationally puck a fight with someone, better that person was a strong man rather than a weak one. The rationale for that is that a strong man is able to subdue where a weak one has to strike to kill to subdue someone stronger than themselves.

What does this have to do with the topic? I think that women, less burdened with testosterone have less capability of managing their emotions, thus are the "weak man" in many of those situations.

It might have been heartiste who posted and discussed a study that showed that higher T levels of negotiating parties resulted in fairer outcomes of those negotiations.

I liken these interactions with the harpies to "negotiations". Someone wants something and they try to come from a position of strength, but the only strength they know is to kill, so to speak.

I see the same thing in lower echelon, white knight males (beta, gamma, whatever) when they try to assert themselves. They throw irrational fits in an attempt to overcome what has become their adversary.

Yes, he did. In some ways the next one was worse; less loud, more vicious and manipulative. I believe it came down to two things; one being a messed up relationship with our father (he wasn't perfect, go figure), and the second being personality. I had the same father but a very good relationship with him.

However, as Ben Cohen pointed out above, my reaction to my father's overbearing nature was to fight back, hard. And when you did that, he would treat you with respect. When you gave in to him, he would walk all over you for the rest of your life. I believe my brother's basic issue was that he valued a smooth relationship more than he valued a healthy relationship. Maybe he just never figured out the difference? He's dead now so I can't ask him.

I also have to say I didn't know or recognise any of this stuff at the time. My response to my sister-in-law was completely instinctive. (Perhaps trained by my relationship with my father, but that's an insight a long number of years retrospective.)

"It works with anyone. I have a dad like this and I either ignored him or fought him."

You know that if you yell and cuss at another man, it's not out of the question he's going to punch you in the face. Women are used to taking advantage of the "you can't hit a girl no matter what she does" rule.

he wasn't inexperienced, but he seemed to attract bad-tempered women. You know, the old "the lion sees the injured calf" kind of thing. They spotted him miles away.

I know from experience that he *could* be provoked to fight, but it took a lot more than my other brothers. And the "never hit a girl" thing was very strong in our family. Our parents encouraged us to argue but cracked down hard on violence. Their mantra was that "violence is the first resort of the incompetent" so our game was always to provoke the others to lose their shit and go to the fists. None of us wanted to be seen as incompetent.

But who knows, how he saw these things? Maybe they weren't relevant to him at all? I just can't say.

@ d.c. sunsets, the peri- and post menopausal period is tough on women unless they did exactly as you say. Marry young, love your spouse and children, earn respect.

My day to day routine brings me into the company of many women of varying ages. The single moms are nice enough but crazy. The younger marrieds with kids or planning on kids are all still Ga-ga for their husbands. The older post menopause women who married well, well...very kind and happy, busy, active, and well respected.

There a few extremely lefty women, married to extremely lefty men. They are therapists or counsellors or community service workers to a woman, all going on about how Trump will screw us and start WWIII, and possess an air of insecurity or nervousness. I've never seen loud public outbursts from them, but the FB rants are amusing...the superiority of intelligence, social position, having the correct political beliefs, and if being liberated from patriarchy, is being revealed as an illusion, and they can't quite wrap their heads around the notion they were wrong and will now be irrelevant.

When I left my job to be a SAHM, I got regular calls from the lady who took my place, demanding to know how I got so and so to work with me or how to make someone else help. Actual conversation:

Me: just be niceHer: laughsMe: I'm serious. You don't have to be friends. You don't have to like them. Just be nice. Be kind. Be respectful.Her: yeah, right

She continues to have trouble to this day. Her method of bitching, passive aggressiveness, and escalating non issues to higher ups has never once been more effective than a sweet smile and a please.

It's certainly not the only culprit, but being in the workplace has lessened feminine behavior by a lot. It's weird, though. I never once saw men act the way women act when they think they're being like men.

It is men's restraint and tolerance that underlies this lurch into absurdity.

That's true, but it is a prisoners dilemma scenario. This is why primitive societies fight so savagely to keep women in line: the men know in their hearts that once women gain control of a society its over.

Speaking as a menopausal woman, I laughed my arse off at Vox's response and instruction, which is spot on. My husband had me in check a long time ago (telling me to shut the "f" up in public, and in private, making sure I understood - without physical force - that he was louder, bigger, and stronger). Thankfully and by the grace of God, I got the message, but at that time, thought him a bully. Now, after reading at this blog for many years, I have come to understand and be grateful for his no-tolerance policy toward my smart alecky snark. I've never been violent or vulgar, but can attest to the fact that as I've entered this stage of life, I do find myself frustrated, rage-filled, and cussing a lot more. However, it's not toward others; I am the target of my curses - and the decline of aging.

Shouting and cussing is a shit test. If you meekly walk away and "let the tantrum burn out", you failed.

She'll interpret you leaving the scene as you being scared of her. If you stick around like an immovable rock, she'll calm down.

Going by rank:Alpha and Sigma: Tells her to STFU, willing to get physical if necessary.Beta: Calmly tells her to be quiet, may succinctly defend his actions. Stands his ground.Delta: Tries to reason with her to calm her down.Gamma: Gets in a passive-aggressive argument with her, or meekly cedes the floor to her, depending on the Gamma's mood. Willing to get physical, but only if she is cowed and frightened.Omega: Runs and hides in a closet somewhere.

@ dc.sunsets "Everything that is bad about women today exists only because men enable it."

Agreed with caveats. Some men allowed laws to be in place that restrict the everyman from keeping a woman in check, while simultaneously a culture is fostered where women can do no wrong/have no liability for responsibility.

If VAWA was gone and a general interpretation of the law where its favorable to men were to be the norm, and the everyman continued to tolerate bad female behavior, then your statement of "it being mens fault because they enable bad behavior in women" would be absolutely correct. As it originally stood, i think its a mistake to blame the everyman for the crappy laws that few pussy whipped men or the nefarious men in power who uses women to control the popluation by empowering them (women).

Another facet to this might be that women don't understand the way men establish dominance and pecking order, whether in social situations or in the workplace. Many of them (especially those from single-mother household) appear to believe that men are essentially one-dimensional brutes who only respond to overt displays of force. So when they find themselves in a traditionally male environment, they ramp up the aggression in order to get what they want.

But men generally establish dominance in far more subtle ways. While there's certainly a time and place for overt displays of authority, most interactions (especially in the workplace) tend to be low key, and the guy who attempts a verbal beatdown often comes out the loser. Men will willingly cede authority to a guy who exhibits some combination of knowledge, expertise, self-control, respect, and affability, but will give a wide berth to the angry jerk who fails to matter at least some of the positive characteristics.

If VAWA was gone and a general interpretation of the law where its favorable to men were to be the norm

@RedPillPaulInteresting anecdote. A couple of months ago, I took a phone poll about political matters. The young American woman giving the poll went through various questions, where I stated I was a Republican voter who supports Trump, etc.

Then, somewhere in the middle of the survey, she asked a question about whether I approved of my senator's voting for renewal of VAWA. I answered curtly that I strongly disapproved of that action, and it made me less likely to support the senator.

Her voice took on a blatantly obviously sexual, aroused edge for about a minute or so.

Teaching women they are equal to men in aspects of physical and mental capacity, and superior to men in emotional capacity, is part of the share in this problem.

Every woman can only interpret men's actions through her lens of FEMALE, and thinks she is right because she is equal to any man in mental capacity but also has the improved emotional software which means her way is better. Full stop. As Happy Housewife said above, women "think they are being like men" when they can't think that way, or be that way. They aren't men.

So, female nature is suited to the type of conditioning for "equality + emotional superiority" that I see in so much advertising, entertainment, etc. It's an age old problem rearing it's head once again. Or, cart before horse: it's actually unchained female nature that lets this nonsense take hold. Far from being evolution and enlightenment, it tends to mean unhappiness all around.

I ran into an acquaintance from my church (Catholic) not long ago. Hadn't seen her in a while. She said she started to attend a different mass with a new priest she likes better...he's a hippie throwback who is very new-agey in his sermons. She said the pastor (a patriarch and traditionalist whom I suspect is waiting for the right moment to go full SSPX with the congregation) rubbed her the wrong way, played 'old boys club' with the parish...well, shouldn't he, though? This woman is in that menopausal empty-nest crowd. She's taken up yoga and chants in Sanskrit and is now a vegan...

You just passed a shit test but the mechanics behind it as to why she is arroused is because it plays to both sides of her nature. She loves being dominated while she loves power for herself.

At the end of the day, with VAWA being in place, you actively showing your disapproval of it shows that you are not weighted down by the risks of VAWA (showing risk taking/power/ ect...) while the power is ultimately in her hands, as she can, at any time, cry "RAPE". A more dangerous yet ultimately safe roller coaster.

It is amazing what a forceful obscenity laced response can have on a shrill woman. This past week the wife was acting shrill and bitchy about something. It was shark week and she's not usually like this . Regardless my threshold for this shit is nill so I just looked at her and said " stop being a bitch". She like "I can't believe you called me a bitch - apologize" . I responded with "never - get over it ". She shut up and was a well behaved woman the rest of the evening.

One of the big problems is the way the laws have changed over the years. Women know that they will not be punished like a man would be. They are all for equality as long as it isn't equality in consequences.

One of the big problems is the way the laws have changed over the years. Women know that they will not be punished like a man would be. They are all for equality as long as it isn't equality in consequences.

You can't fix their feelings, or their sense of the world's injustice, but you can certainly convince them to shut the hell up.

Then seal the deal by grabbing her, dragging her off to the bedroom, and asserting your husbandly marital rights, even if it's the last thing you feel like doing at the moment (she might even thank you for it; it has been scientifically proven that semen contains hormones that counteract bat-shit craziness).

Agreed with caveats. Some men allowed laws to be in place that restrict the everyman from keeping a woman in check[...] i think its a mistake to blame the everyman for the crappy laws that few pussy whipped men or the nefarious men in power who uses women to control the popluation by empowering them (women).

It's not that easy. Please go to your workplace, wait for a moment when there's no woman around and say to the average men gathered there: "I think our laws are unfair to men and women take advantage of that". Then you will find how deep blue pill thinking goes. You will see men outraged, telling that you are a sexist and defending women, which are better than men and victims of men and so on and so forth.

If a politician makes a law and the average man does not agree and votes against this politician in the next election, this man is not responsible of the law. But if the average men votes again to this politician and argues in favor of this kind of treatment, he is fully responsible.

Tl;dr. In a democracy, there are not feminist politicians with red pill voters. Everyone is responsible for the decay.

I agree with most of what the commenters are saying here, but would add that there's a large fear component in all that anger. Having made themselves men's equals, women can no longer count on having a soft place to fall when they need a man's protection (and we all do) so they lose control of their emotions partly out of fear. "Oh, my goodness. Nobody is going to see me as womanly ever again. I'm on my own!" Fear makes puerile aggressive. Maybe I'm wrong, but I usually see that kind of behavior in women who have abandoned women's usual means of support and protection.

"She'll interpret you leaving the scene as you being scared of her. If you stick around like an immovable rock, she'll calm down.

Going by rank:Alpha and Sigma: Tells her to STFU, willing to get physical if necessary.Beta: Calmly tells her to be quiet, may succinctly defend his actions. Stands his ground.Delta: Tries to reason with her to calm her down.Gamma: Gets in a passive-aggressive argument with her, or meekly cedes the floor to her, depending on the Gamma's mood. Willing to get physical, but only if she is cowed and frightened.Omega: Runs and hides in a closet somewhere."

Hmmm... lol Definitely agree with the core of advice Vox has imparted to us all.

And I've done quite "similarly" in my past dealings with female family; I only have the "problems" with the women in my life "by blood" not random women in society since I don't "stick around long enough" amongst women to have to be caught in these kind of situations.

Now, now, the "violence" and the "cursing" I've done in the past and as a *CHRISTIAN* man, how would one "handle women" without getting into the process of "sinning" along these instructions?

THAT by FAR is one of the hardest hurdles men encounter with angry, violent women.

I've never really gotten "angry" at a woman for any reason save she did me something really bad that p*ssed me off and I "snapped" lol.

But I'm VERY serious... If I had to "pop her upside the head" the bring her back to her senses, such occurred but I never got any "satisfaction" from the results. Never wanted to go that far (*ALWAYS the WOMAN initiating; men don't pick fights with females); but when pushed so wickedly I'm not so "righteous" I may not "respond in kind"; I SIN as well. I'm a SINNER lol.

Usually a woman always "traps" a man in the situation like standing in front of the door to block his leaving just because she can pay the social contract "woman card" and expect to get any with it socially amongst people.

The guy could politely ask the woman to step out of the way or as he already knows use FORCE to reasonably remove her out the way without being "too violent".

I really HATE when women use that "play" on men just because they're females and can get away with it only in view of society's social contract.

Now in an isolated surrounding and it's just the man and the woman, he can put the woman at bay without having to keep in mind her "female enabler" white knights coming to her rescue.

I'll jack up those guys and anyone who gets in my way, when it's not called for (even if it is...). I'll LASH OUT and get EVERYONE if I'm being "played like that". I'd rather DIE than be "put down" by anyone else but ME!

The only time just walking away worked for my husband and didn't cause a simmering escalation in anger is when I was pregnant. Even though I was screaming about missing popsicles, I knew I was being batshit crazy but just couldn't stop the overflow of crazy. He knew it too. I always apologized later....on the other hand, getting the silent treatment or sulking from a man is infuriating. It doesn't even matter who's fault the initial issue was. It reeks of fear of confrontation and undermines confidence in the husband's leadership. The woman in the op is pissed that she is the leader in her marriage though she will never admit it.

Take a look at this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Behavioral_sink. The female rodents became hyper-aggressive, and the males craved sexual perversion or no sex at all, and resisted competition for female mates. Look familiar?

One reason guys put up with this shit is that they're simply unused to people who will play hardball to win their own way, even if that means going totally off the graph. They're not used to conflict, to holding firm in the face of physical and mental abuse, and standing their ground and then fighting back.

Look at some guy who volunteers for one of these charity celebrity boxing matches, and see what happens the first time they get hit in the face. The complete loss of balance, orientation ... the panic.

Make your kids take up boxing or karate or something similar. Make them endure conflict, pain, and out-grouping.

1. Fem-centric legislation -- courts and police rule in favor of the woman in any dispute or conflict with a man, so for a man standing up to an angry belligerent woman will usually end in a trip to jail for him regardless of who started it or who was at fault,

and

2. the skewing of the SMP which is heavily tilted in women's favor, meaning that a lot of beta (ok, delta) men have really limited options, so they choose to put up with bitchy behavior from their women, rather than dump them and risk going through a lengthy dry spell.

Science is beginning to confirm the importance of the direct physical exchange of male and female fluids during sexual intercourse. A study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior (2002 June 31(3):289-93) demonstrated that the women who were directly exposed to semen during intercourse (without interference from condoms) were less likely to be depressed. The researchers in this study concluded that such a response is due to the mood-altering hormones in semen that are absorbed through the vagina.

So, I beat the shit out of my wife once for her insolence. When she came to, she called the police. I meekly submitted to the police and went to jail. Was that a mistake on my part? When she saw the cops cuff me and shove me into their car, she lost a lot of respect for me, it seems.

Perhaps they are going mental because after years of feminist claptrap about what will make them happy (but doesn't in reality), their subconscious realises they've been lied to but they still can't accept it consciously.