NASCAR Fan’s Dying Wish Could Be ‘Bury My Heart At Daytona International Speedway’

A bill has been introduced in the Florida legislature that if passed would permit the construction of a columbarium – “a sepulchral vault or other structure with recesses in the walls to receive the ashes of the dead” (thanks, Dictionary.com) – at two Florida race tracks near and dear to the hearts of many-a-NASCAR fan: Daytona International Speedway and Homestead Miami Speedway. “Dey took our urns! But it’s all good!”

International Speedway Corp. spokesman Lenny Santiago told the News-Journal that many NASCAR fans have inquired about having their final resting place at Daytona. “We have a lot of fans that are very, very loyal to NASCAR races and to Daytona in general. This opens that door, this bill, and we’re hopeful that this will get passed,” Santiago said, according to the newspaper.

If passed, the bill would become law on July 1st of this year, and I have to say that I cannot envision that any lowbred NASCAR fan (not all of them) could think of anything sweeter than to have their final resting place be at such a revered speedway as Daytona, although my guess is the columbariums located at the two facilities – if the bill passes – will not be as fancy-schmancy and regal as say, the Oakland Columbarium. That’s not in the NASCAR, redneck-ian way, you see. All these sort of folk need – the kind that would wish that their mortal remains be placed at a friggin’ race track, not all NASCAR fans, mind you – is a broken-down trailer home placed on cinder blocks. Or, if they wanted to give it a stately air about it, how about a Redneck Mansion? Git-r-done, Florida legislature!