The Big “Gay” Question

“When did you realize you were a lesbian?” “If I’m attracted to someone of the same sex, does that make me gay?”

So many people have asked me these questions before and all I can do is share my own story and advise them that not everyone has the same conclusion as I do. We all come to find ourselves at different periods in time. Some find they are attracted to members of the same sex at an early age and others discover it after they are married with 2 children. It just depends how in touch you are with your own feelings and if you’re willing to explore them.

Personally, I first kissed a girl at the age of 11 and from that point on till I was 16 I always thought about it. That experience never left my memory. I had boyfriends and really felt like I was interested in them, but something was missing , a big something – sexual desire. I was never comfortable going further than kissing – it just felt awkward to me. When I was 17, I finally decided to explore my attraction to women. At that point I was always looking at women and thinking way more then just “she’s hot.” I met a girl, we talked, and that was that. First time I kissed a girl again after that one when I was 11, I was sure I was bisexual or a lesbian. All those feelings of butterflies, anxiety, desire, etc were all there with girls. It felt right. I continued to explore, talking to various girls and trying to relate my feelings towards girls with theirs. By the time I had met my ex-girlfriend I was positive I was a lesbian (this was at the age of 19.) Everything I desired in another person I found in a woman.

If you’re questioning your own sexuality, I’d say explore it a bit. As time goes on and I educate myself more I truly believe labels are not important. Only your own happiness. Sexuality is fluid and for some people it’s always changing. Society loves labels and will always try and label you.

For an ending note – if you’re attracted to a member of the same sex, it does not mean you’re gay. It just means you’re open to possibilites. :D Please feel free to share your own stories and ask questions!