Citizen dreams big on mayors behalf

Over at KEX (1190 AM), funny guy Dave Anderson seems pleased that the new mayor, Tom Potter, has taken over all the city bureaus. 'Now if he could just do something about the Blazers.' É In case you haven't been paying proper attention, Dave is headlining this weekend at Harvey's Comedy Club, downtown on Northwest Sixth. É If you're like me, and you thought things were starting to get interesting with the Texas Pacific-PGE takeover deal Ñ forget it. É According to my friend, whom I will refer to here only as the Ultimate Insider, it's a done deal. 'Nothing's going to happen there,' says Mr. U Ñ meaning it's going ahead as planned, even with every major institution in the state against it. Except, of course, for The Oregonian and the governor's office. É If you're against the buyout, I suppose you could say the fix is in. As Mr. U puts it in his oh-so-worldly way: 'What are the alternatives?'

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No, no, no, I certainly didn't intend to suggest that the local DEA honcho, Ken Magee, goes around to public functions spiking his coffee with booze. É What I tried to say was, he carries his own coffee with him in case the stuff they're serving isn't strong enough for his tastes. Nothing wrong with that. É Nor for that matter, did I have a clue Ñ as many readers of this column obviously did Ñ that 'diameter breast height' is an old forestry term, not something dreamed up by the Beaverton Board of Design Review to satisfy some postmodern notion of political correctness. É 'It's usually abbreviated dbh,' writes local attorney Philip Jones. É I can accept that. Onward and upward. É Local shipping exec Doug Caldwell has a great idea. 'Portland,' he writes, 'is blessed with some wonderful pieces of public art, but there's a few pieces of really awful stuff out there. I think we need to start a contest for Portland's Worst Public Art.' É To get things rolling, he nominates the 70-foot-high 'tree' bolted to the front of the ODS Tower on Southwest Second. É 'This absolutely has to be Stumptown's worst stump,' says Doug. É As first prize, how about a velvet Elvis painting?

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Yes, it's true. We don't have too many famous people living here in Oregon. However, as Column Central has learned, until fairly recently, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld once owned a car here, and that's something, right? É According to state DMV records, the car was a 1992 Nissan, and Rumsfeld was listed as an out-of-state owner with an address in Chicago. É But what, you might well ask, would Rummy, who can undoubtedly afford to drive anything he wants, be doing with a 1992 Nissan? And why here, of all places? É Well, all the information isn't in yet, but it seems at the time in question, Rumsfeld's youngest son, Nick, was living in Portland. É Meaning that at least we may have the son of a celebrity living here, right? É Wrong. According to DMV records, he, too, has departed. His license expired in 2001. And to think, we were so close.

Contact Phil Stanford by phone at 503-546-5166 or by e-mail at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..