Disgraced President OJ Simpson addressed the nation from a Clark County jail, Friday night, on the heels of his conviction and fall from grace. “You won’t have the Juice to kick around anymore. But as my last request as President of the United States, I urge Congress to act boldly and pass an immediate bi-partisan Bailout of my ass —or minimally tell Al Cowlings to get my Bronco and implement the Rescue Plan. With me teetering on the brink of a depression, its important that I, the last remaining President of a superpower not go out like this. Congress’ failure to act swiftly will result in my long painful residence with a 6’9” semi-transvestite that ran out of money before he-she’s operation. Congress. Please ACT NOW!”......Excerpt from "CELEBRITY ELECT"...Due out October 31, 2008