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The Power of the Internet Now Brings You One-Hour Condom Delivery

Scott Lucas | Photo: Courtesy L Condoms | February 13, 2014

Remember when the web was going to lead to a flowering of human knowledge and creativity? Us neither.

Are you somehow socially capable enough to convince someone to have sex with you, yet simultaneously so socially inept that you can't manage the crippling shame and anxiety of a ten-second interaction with the cashier at CVS to buy condoms? Well, congratulations to you, member of what is clearly a huge overlap in the Venn diagram, because there's an online new condom delivery service coming to San Francisco.

Beginning on Valentine's Day, L Condoms will launch a prophylactic procurement service that will deliver the old lamb intestines to your door via what the company describes as "an unlabeled black box by a hip bike messenger" (if you can't manage the drug store clerk, how is a hip bike messenger supposed to put you at ease?). But wait, there's more.

Because you've got to be able to impress your date with your commitment to San Francisco values, the company also promises to donate one condom to a developing country for every condom purchased (Which, snark aside, is not a bad idea). They also tout their products as environmentally-friendly and according to their website, "L. is a condom company with a cause; to support women globally by focusing on their sexual empowerment." It also exists to sell you condoms (four out of five stars on thecondomreview.com!) via bike messengers.

If you place your order on Valentine's Day, you can even add a bouquet of flowers.

Currently, L Condoms are available in CVS stores and by delivery in LA. Because of course they are, the company is also launching an app in the spring. In completely unrelated news, the new online economy is totally different from the bubble last time. Last time around, they were delivering pet food. No bubble here at all.