Monday, July 19, 2010

We fuss we fight your fault my fault we was on the same team least thats what i thought we both participated only i got caught now we hardly conversatin' baby, we don't talk it was fun at first, you can't say im wrong now you wanna talk about it? too late, im gone your mad at me cos i dont wanna play your games i ain't perfect but imma do my thing we gotta meet in the middle

you here im there, tell me whats the sence in me trying if you dont care? this relationship is heading to who knows where that means one of us got to chose, because you hurt me, and i hurt you, you complain about the things that i dont do i dont wanna take the blame neither do you, because we got too much to loose

we gotta meet in the middle meet in the middle we gotta gotta meet in the middle gotta compromise baby don't analyse we need to see eye to eye, so lets meet in the middle we gotta meet in the middle we gotta gotta meet in the middle we gotta compromise we gotta work it out this time we need to see eye to eye so lets meet in the middle

We got somethin we can't enjoy im sick of you tryin to play with me like i'm your toy hm, you tried to run game i saw, we gotta lotta issues you got yours, we gotta meet in the middle you cant talk that shit, you cant travel to the future if you walk backwards once you walk out the door, you cant walk back in we gotta find a way to solve it, think about our kids cos they in the middle you wanna sing that song? you want me to cop that plead and say ok im wrong? things are gettin heavy but i gotta stay strong i try to talk it over with you when i coulda been gone because you hurt me, and i hurt you, you complain about the things that i dont do and i dont wanna take the blame neither do you because we got too much to loose

we gotta meet in the middle meet in the middle we gotta gotta meet in the middle gotta compromise baby don't analyse we need to see eye to eye, so lets meet in the middle we gotta meet in the middle we gotta gotta meet in the middle we gotta compromise we gotta work it out this time we need to see eye to eye so lets meet in the middle

i told you once, i told you twice and now my shoulders cold, like a block of ice you playin games like you rollin dice hey what you know about sacrifice? baby ive been in the middle.. ive been givin you more than a little had the ball then you double dribble i guess that love is a riddle.. you never listen i dont ever get my point across i washed ya dirty draws, you out with dirty broads you did me dirty dawg, cos yous a dirty dog, its a quit n call, and i aint mad at all i gave you more than you deserve, i was worth it all bottom line i hope you find what you searchin for you hurt me, said i hurt you and i complain about the things that you dont do and i dont wanna take the blame neither do you we got too much to lose...

we gotta meet in the middle meet in the middle we gotta gotta meet in the middle gotta compramise baby don't analyse we need to see eye to eye, so lets meet in the middle we gotta meet in the middle we gotta gotta meet in the middle we gotta compromise we gotta work it out this time we need to see eye to eye so lets meet in the middle

Friday, July 16, 2010

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts Just gonna stand there and hear me cry Well that's alright because I love the way you lie I love the way you lie

[Verse 1 - Eminem] I can't tell you what it really is I can only tell you what it feels like And right now there's a steel knife in my windpipe I can't breathe but I still fight all I can fight As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight

High off of love, drunk from my hate It's like I'm huffin' paint and I love her The more I suffer, I suffocate Right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates Me, she fuckin' hates me and I love it, Wait! Where you going? I'm leaving you. No you ain't. Come back. We're running right back

Here we go again, it's so insane 'Cause when it's going good, it's going great I'm Superman with the wind in his back She's Lois Lane, but when it's bad, it's awful I feel so ashamed, I snapped, "Who's that dude?" I don't even know his name I laid hands on her, I'll never stoop so low again I guess I don't know my own strength

[Chorus - Rihanna] Just gonna stand there and watch me burn Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts Just gonna stand there and hear me cry Well that's alright because I love the way you lie I love the way you lie I love the way you lie

[Verse 2 - Eminem] You ever love somebody so much, you could barely breathe when you with 'em? You meet, and neither one of you even know what hit 'em Got that warm fuzzy feeling, yeah, them chills, used to get 'em Now you gettin' fuckin' sick of lookin' at 'em You swore you'd never hit 'em, never do nothing to hurt 'em Now you're in each other's face spewing venom in your words when you spit 'em You push, pull each other's hair, scratch, claw, bit 'em Throw 'em down, pin 'em, so lost in the moments when you're with 'em

It's the fate that took over, it controls you both So they say, you're best to go your separate ways Guess that they don't know you 'cause today, That was yesterday, yesterday is over, it's a different day Sound like broken records playing over But you promised her, next time you'd show restraint You don't get another chance Life is no Nintendo game, but you lied again Now you get to watch her leave out the window Guess that's why they call it "window pane"

[Chorus - Rihanna] Just gonna stand there and watch me burn Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts Just gonna stand there and hear me cry Well that's alright because I love the way you lie I love the way you lie I love the way you lie

[Verse 3 - Eminem] Now I know we said things, did things that we didn't mean And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine But your temper's just as bad as mine is You're the same as me When it comes to love you're just as blinded

Baby, please come back, it wasn't you, Baby, it was me. Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano All I know is I love you too much to walk away though Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk? Told you this is my fault, look me in the eyeball Next time I'm pissed, I'll aim my fist at the drywall Next time? There won't be no next time I apologize, even though I know it's lies I'm tired of the games, I just want her back I know I'm a liar If she ever tries to fuckin' leave again, I'ma tie her to the bed and set this house on fire I'm just gonna

[Chorus - Rihanna] Just gonna stand there and watch me burn Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts Just gonna stand there and hear me cry Well that's alright because I love the way you lie I love the way you lie I love the way you lie

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Never really liked Eminem - he's a white boy trying so hard to be black? - but this is one awesome song.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

albeit the hardship and the tough time i'm struggling to cope withHe sends me down more endless blessings.

thank you so much for my rezeki. thank you so much for everything that i am. that i have today.that i won't have tomorrow.that i didn't have yesterday. that you shall give in the future.and, those you're going to take.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

All this while I told Allah, that He is the only one that can take care of my wary heartThat if he was being untrue to me, Allah will one day show it to me of his (dis)honestyExactly a month agoAllah, the Al-Mighty, the Only One that knows it all, the Only One that knows everything, from the hidden and those of not, showed me what I have been praying for. I was presented this huge challengeAnd I redha. Along our lives, we might have abandoned Him once too many And for that I am tremendously humiliated. Embarrassed. I wouldn't question His decision and justification for Allah only does things with good intentionsBut I wouldn't have a clue how to cope with the challenge or how to hande it if it wasn't for Him, either

Exactly a month agoHe had presented me the proof before my eyesThe things I needed know to judge what these last 4 and a half years have beenI still don't know what to do with itAnd only He knows best.

Exactly a month agoI knew what I've been wanting to knowAnd all the while I thought it was unpretentious. And I was wrong.

Exactly a month agoI finally knew that you were untrue. Not even to yourself. And that is the saddest part of it.

Exactly a month ago. I set my heart never to trust againBut only in Allah, I shall place my trustFor there is no power or might that is greater than Allah's.

Exactly a month ago. I was left with a scar that shall remain for the rest of my life. And if nothing prevails, that will be the only thing you have ever given me.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Something has changed within me Something is not the same I'm through with playing by the rules Of someone else's game Too late for second-guessing Too late to go back to sleep It's time to trust my instincts Close my eyes: and leap!

I'm through accepting limits ''cause someone says they're so Some things I cannot change But till I try, I'll never know! Too long I've been afraid of Losing love I guess I've lost Well, if that's love It comes at much too high a cost!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

If you're not the one, then why does my soul feel glad today?If you're not the one, then why does my hand fit yours this way?If you are not mine, then why does your heart return my call?If you you are not mine, would I have the strength to stand at all?

I never know what the future bringsBut I know you're here with me nowWe'll make it through and I hopeYou are the one I share my life with

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understandIf I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?Is there anyway that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you, then why am I crying on my bed?If I don't need you, then why does your name resound in my head?If you're not for me, then why does this distance name my life?If you're not for me, then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far awayBut I know that this much is trueWe'll make it through and I hopeYou are the one I share my life with

And I wish that you could be the one I die withAnd I pray that you're the one I build my home withI hope I love you all my life

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understandIf I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?Is there anyway that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss your body and soul so strongThat it takes my breath awayAnd I breath you into my heartAnd I pray for the strength to stand today

'Cause I love you whether it's wrong or rightAnd though I can't be with you tonightAnd though my heart is by your side

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understandIf I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?Is there anyway that I can stay in your arms?

three years flew so fast.i have lived 3 years under that roof. that is my home. that is where i belong.

three years flew so fast.the place i called home has seen so much.so much of me. of me in times of happiness.and otherwise.

three years flew so fast. the so many dishes i had enjoyed cooking in that little kitchen i designed my own. the swing only i had, i have it on the balcony. every little touch i had for the place i called home, were touches of love. love for the place i call home.

three years flew so fast.thank you God for the home i have the last three years.

I don't want to lose youbut I don't want to use youjust to have somebody by my side. I don't want to hate you,I don't want to take youbut I don't want to be the one to cry.

And that don't really matter to anyone anymore.But like a fool I keep losing my placeand I keep seeing you walk through that door.

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.

Now, I could never change youI don't want to blame you.Baby, you don't have to take the fall.Yes, I may have hurt you, but I did not desert you.Maybe I just want to have it all.

It makes a sound like thunderit makes me feel like rain.And like a fool who will never see the truth,I keep thinking something's gonna change.

And there's no way homewhen it's late at night and you're all alone.Are there things that you wanted to say?And do you feel me beside you in your bed,there beside you, where I used to lay?

And there's a danger in loving somebody too much,and it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch.There's a reason why people don't stay who they are.Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough.

“But now I have turned to Thee, my Lord, after being guilty of omissions and transgressions against my soul, apologetically, repentantly, broken heartedly, entreating earnestly for forgiveness, yieldingly confessing (to my guilt), as I can find no escape from that which was done by me and having no refuge to which I could turn except seeking Thy acceptance of my excuse and admitting me into the realm of Thy capacious mercy.

Nay, Thou art far too kind and generous to torment one whom thyself nourished and supported, or to drive away from Thyself one whom Thou has kept under Thy protection, or to scare away one whom Thy self hast given shelter, or to abandon in affliction one Thou hast maintained and to whom Thou hast been merciful.

I wish I had known o’ my Master, my God and my Lord! Wilt Thou inflict fire upon faces which have submissively bowed in prostration to Thy greatness, or upon the tongues which have sincerely confirmed Thy unity and have always expressed gratitude to Thee, or upon hearts which have acknowledged Thy divinity with conviction, or upon the minds which accumulated so much knowledge of Thee until they became submissive to Thee, or upon the limbs which strove, at the places appointed for Thy worship, to adore Thee willingly and seek Thy forgiveness submissively?

Such sort (of harshness) is not expected from Thee as it is remote from Thy grace, O’ Generous One!

O’ Lord! Thou art aware of my weakness to bear even a minor affliction of this world and its consequence and adversity affecting the denizen of this earth, although such afflictions are momentary, short-lived and transient.

How then can I bear the retributions and the punishments of the hereafter which are enormous and of intensive sufferings, of prolonged period and perpetual duration, and which shall never be alleviated for those who deserve the same as those retributions will be the result of Thy wrath; and Thy punishment which neither the heavens nor the earth can withstand and bear!

My Lord! How can I, a weak, insignificant, humble, poor and destitute creature of Thine be able to bear them?

O’ my God! My Lord! My King! And Master! Which of the matters shall I complain to Thee and for which of them shall I bewail and weep?

Shall I bewail for the pains and pangs of the punishment and their intensity or for the length of sufferings and their duration?

Therefore (my Lord!) If Thou wilt subject me to the penalties (of hell) in company of Thy enemies and cast me with those who merited Thy punishments and tear me apart from Thy friends and those who will be near to Thee, then my God, my Lord and my Master, though I may patiently bear Thy punishments, how can I endure separation from Thee?

If I may be able to patiently endure the scorching fire of Thy hell, yet how can I endure not gazing upon Thy generosity? How can I remain in the fire while I have hopes of Thy forgiveness?

O’ my Lord! By Thy honour truly do I swear that, if Thou wilt allow my power of speech to be retained by me in the hell, I shall amongst its inmates cry out bewailingly unto Thee like the cry of those who have faith in Thy kindness and compassion.

And I shall bemoan for Thee (for being deprived of nearness to Thee) the lamentation of those who are bereaved, and I shall keep on calling unto Thee:

“Where art Thou O’ Friend of the believers! [Ya Waliyal Momineen]

O’ (Thou who art) the last resort and the ultimate goal of those who acknowledge Thee [Ya Ghayata Aamalil 'Aarefeen];

O’ Thou who art the helper of those seeking help! [Ya Ghiyathal Mustaghetheen]

O’ Thou who art dear to the hearts of those who truly believe in Thee! [Ya Habiba Quloobis Sadeqeen]

And O’ Thou who art the Lord of the universe [Ya Ilahal 'Aalameen].”

My Lord! Glory and praise be to Thee, wouldst Thou (wish) to be seen (disregarding) the voice of Thy slave, incarcerated therein (the hell) for his disobedience and imprisoned within its pits for his evildoings and misdeeds, crying out to Thee the utterance of one who has faith in Thy mercy and calling out to Thee in the language of those who believe in Thy Tawheed [the One, the Creator, the Nourisher, the Accomplisher, and the Protector of the entire existence] and seeking to approach Thee by means of Thy Lordship?

My Lord! Then how could he remain in torments when he hopefully relies upon Thy past forbearance, compassion and mercy?

And how can the fire cause him suffering when he hopes for Thy grace and mercy and how can its roaring flames burn him when Thou hearest his voice and sees his plight? And how can he withstand its roaring flames when Thou knowest his frailness? And how can he be tossed about between its layers when Thou knowest his sincerity? And how can the guards of hell threaten him when he calls out to Thee?

“My Lord”, and how would Thou abandon him therein (the hell) when he has faith in Thy Grace to set him free?

Alas! That is not the concept (held by us) of Thee nor has Thy Grace such a reputation nor does it resemble that which Thou hast awarded by Thy kindness and generosity to those who believe in Thy Tawheed.

I definitely conclude that hadst Thou not ordained punishment for those who disbelieved in Thee, and hadst Thou not decreed Thy enemies to remain in hell, Thou wouldst have made the hell cold and peaceful and there would never have been an abode or place for any one in it; but sanctified be Thy Names, Thou hast sworn to fill the hell with the disbelievers from amongst the jinns and hummankind together and to place forever Thy enemies therein.

And Thou, exalted be Thy praises, hadst made manifest, out of Thy generosity and kindness, that ‘the one who has submitted is not equal to the one who has not.’

My Lord! My Master! I, therefore implore Thee by that power which Thou determineth and by the decree which Thou hast finalised and ordained whereby Thou hath prevailed upon whom Thou hast imposed it, to bestow upon me this night and this very hour the forgiveness for all the transgressions that I have been guilty of, for all the sins that I have committed, for all the loathsome acts that I have kept secret and for all the evils done by me, secretly or openly, in concealment or outwardly and for every evil action that Thou hast ordered the two noble scribes to confirm whom Thou hast appointed to record all my actions and to be witnesses over me along with the limbs of my body, whilst Thou observeth over me besides them and wast witness to those acts concealed from them? Which Thou in Thy mercy hast kept secret and through Thy kindness unexposed.

And I pray to Thee to make my share plentiful in all the good that Thou dost bestow; in all the favours that Thou dost grant; and in all the virtues that Thou dost allow to be known everywhere; and in all the sustenance and livelihood that Thou dost expand and in respect of all the sins that Thou dost forgive and the wrongs that Thou dost cover up.

I beseech Thee by Thy glory and Thy honour, by Thy supremely high attributes and by Thy names to cause me to utilise my time, day and night, in Thy remembrance, by engaging myself in serving Thee (Thy cause) and to let my deeds be such as to be acceptable to Thee, so much so that all my actions and offerings (prayers) may be transformed into one continuous and sustained effort and my life may take the form of constant and perpetual service to Thee [wird'un waahida=unified litany].

O’ my Master! O’ Thou upon Whom I rely! O’ Thou unto Whom I express my distress! O’ my Lord! My Lord! My Lord! Strengthen my limbs for Thy service and sustain the strength of my hands to persevere in Thy service and bestow upon me the eagerness to fear Thee [Khash-yatik - internalizing His Presence in the heart] and unceasing continuity to serve Thee.

So that I may lead myself towards Thee in the field with those who are in the fore-rank and be swift towards Thee among those who hasten towards Thee and urge eagerly to be near Thee and draw myself towards Thee like them who sincerely draw themselves towards Thee and to fear Thee like the fear of those who believe firmly in Thee and thus I may join the congregation of the faithful congregated near Thee (for protection).”