Ode to Declan Ganley

Declan Ganley: a modern major general(With apologies to Gilbert & Sullivan, HMS Pinafore)

I am the very model of a modern major EurophobeI live in Eastern Europe and have dodgy links around the globeI have a thing called LibertasWith funding clear as toilet glassFrom US hawks and army brassAnd pensioners in Ballinrobe

He has a thing called LibertasWith funding clear as toilet glassFrom US military brassAnd pensioners in Ballinrobe

My business interests range from Ballybeg to northern KyrghistanI've contracts with the CIA, the Russians and the TalibanMy interest in democracyWith full accountabilityIs limited to men like meWith millions stashed in krugerands

His interest in democracyWith full accountabilityIs limited to men like heWith millions stashed in krugerands

My eurosceptic plan is for a Europe full of nation statesWith minimal protection from big business and from Billy GatesI'm sick of meddling EurocratsEnforcing regulations thatPrevent my bank in MontserratFrom hiding my taxation rate

Predicting Irish misery and hardship is the key to this,Commission seats will go and we'll be terminating foetusesOur jobs will scarper, crime will soarWe'll all be fighting foreign warsAnd women won't shave anymoreTheir garlic breath will smell like piss

My cultivated image as a fuhrer is deliberateMy suit is grey and stiffened with a kilo full of starch in itMy boots are black, my hair is tightI drill in uniform at nightMy secret bunker's quite a sightBeneath the sea off Ballybrit

His boots are black, his hair is tightHe drills in uniform at nightHis secret bunker's quite a sightBeneath the sea off Ballybrit

Oh I'm the very model of a modern major EurophobeDon't want no regulators with their 'legal rules' and 'market probes'I'll fight with fury, shock and aweYou'll never catch me, bunch of dawsMu haw haw haw haw hawNo closer, please: I'm rigged to blow.