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Monday, February 2, 2009

Disney Worlds Unofficial Marathons

Disney World has official marathons which thousands attend and participate in. During those marathons many of the resort hotels are packed and short shorts are everywhere!

There are other marathons in Disney World. They are not advertised and thousands if not hundreds of thousands of people participate in them every year. I know there must be a list of them somewhere online but here are the ones I know about:

If you can’t tell these are the “Marathons” people participate in when the theme parks in Disney World first open. On my last trip to Disney World my wife and I participated in four of these death races; the Soaring Death Race Marathon, Splash Mountain Madness Marathon, Len Testa “Tequila is now being served in Mexico” Marathon, and the Tower of Terror Cardiac Arrest Marathon.

The most laid back is the Len Testa “Tequila is now being served in Mexico” Marathon. This one has not gained the notoriety of the other marathons yet. I recommend you do this soon because once something catches on in Disney it doesn’t stop until someone sues. This marathon normally takes place around 11:00 when you can start getting booze in Mexico. A new marathon could be initiated on the opposite side of the World Showcase at Canada but Tequila is better than Canadian Beer and no one wants to go beyond the first country for a drink that early in the morning.

The next “easiest” “marathon” is the Splash Mountain Madness Marathon on a mild day (or as anyone from the south says a “frigid” day). When it’s hot out this one can be brutal. There are multiple paths you can take for this one. You can go through Adventure Land or you can go through Liberty Square. I recommend Liberty Square. It’s not as direct but there seems to be less traffic. You also avoid all of the parrot heads stampeding to Pirates of the Caribbean.

The Tower of Terror Cardiac Arrest Marathon was a moderate marathon. It earned its name because of a group of people we got stuck behind while making our way over when the rope dropped. They were obliviously very out of shape and pushing someone in a wheel chair. They were attempting to run (term used loosely) down Hollywood Blvd. You can guess how long that lasted. They soon pulled over and took a break. For best success – stick to the side walks until you hit Hollywood Blvd.

The Soaring Death Race Marathon is what it sounds like. It’s brutal. If I ever attempt this again I’m packing heat. The layout of Epcot combined with the location of Soaring makes this one of the hardest marathons you can attempt. To sum this one up – way too many people in to small of a space with many bottle necks. Make sure you carry kids or rope up, if you don’t you’ll have fewer kids than you start with.

In the end the Disney World Unofficial Marathons are insane. I would love to know how many people get trampled throughout a year. I guess these were worse when Disney didn’t do crowd control for them. I can’t even imagine that. I have to say that any cast member that leads the crowds to the attractions needs hazardous duty pay.