Friday, 21 November 2008

Yup,today is my 26th birthday. Alhamdulillah...I am still breathing and be given the opportunity by Allah to live with all the people that I love.

Every year, I will received a phone call or SMS from ma to wish me 'happy birthday'..thus I feel really weird this year that I didn't received it anymore from her...which then brings me back to a reality that she's gone :(

This year is the 1st year that I'm celebrating it as a wife to Solah...but again,sadly..he was not by my side on my 1st bday as his wife. To make it sounds more pathetic...he is not the 1st person to wish me...

I always feel sad after ma left me..I feels like I am not as lucky as other person who stills have their ma around them...but I surely missed the BIG fact that I'm married to such a great guy, I have a very kind family in laws who always take good care of me, I still have my lovely siblings who were always there for me thru my ups and down, and I am blessed with this baby that I've been carrying around in my belly for about 12 weeks now. At first I thought that this is the worst bday I've ever had in my life...but Deja's SMS has made me realize that perhaps this is the best bday I had so far in my life!

For the past 6 years,I've been celebrating my bday with my 'twin'..Pei lai. From USM till TUM Germany to UPM Spain, we have been celebrating it together. But this year, I'm celebrating it with my siblings,my cousins and my aunt at Teluk Batik. Though,it was only a small & simple celebration,but it does feel soooo sweet & nice . Plus, i never experienced any bday celebration at the beach before this.

P/s: Thanks 4 all the bday wishes from family and friends....I really appreciate every wish.. :)

Sunday, 13 July 2008

24th June 2008 will be the date that I’ll remember forever.It has been 18days since Ma left me and the whole world.She was only 52 years old but as everybody knows that death will come to anybody at anytime and anywhere.

Since that day,I am not being the ‘Yatie’ that everybody used to know.It is difficult to even to start smiling again thus it is also hard to even make a fake laughter.I have been struggling to put myself together again and I’ve to admit that it was not easy at all.It was easy for the others to keep saying that I have to be patient, I have to be strong, I have to accept this as God’s will, I must accept this fate with open heart but trust me when I’m saying this: “it was damn hard to do it!”

However as life must go on no matter what happen,I began to slowly recover and I really hope that I’ll be back to the old ‘Yatie’ soon.

I arrived home on 26th June at midnite.My brother and my uncle pick me up at the airport.The first thing that I did when I reached home is hugged abah and crying on his shoulder.Then I saw my aunt’s face which shows that she’s in great sorrow for losing her eldest sister.I could see that all of my brothers eyes were full of tears as well and the most saddest face was my little sister’s face.She’s just standing in front of the door looking at me hopelessly.

I was home for 10days.I’m glad hat I went home as I’ll be dead if I stayed in Madrid during those hard time.At least,when I’m home, I could share my pain and sadness with the rest of my family members who truly understands me.I couldnt even enter the kitchen during the first 3days that I’m home as there were so much memories with ma in the kitchen.It was the place where she teach me how to cooks, where she jokes with me, where she tells mewhat’s going on with her life on that particular day and it is a also the place where she advised me which guy that I should choose as my future husband!

And during those 10 days these are the words from my family members that kills me the most when I listened to:

Kak Nur: “Nasib baik Kak Nur ikut cakap ma hari tu.Patutla ma insist Kak Nur stay kat umah sblm g NZ” and she knows that she’ve made the right choice to stay home for about 2months before leaving to New Zealand last year.

Abe De: “Perangai ti macam ma,Abe de tengok ti cukuplah” and he glanced at me with a really sad looks.

Pein: “Ein nak tunjuk kad pegawai ko ma“,he just got new job and he promised to give ma rm500 each month from his new salary and he never had the chance to do so.

Epit: “Pit sokmo degil ko ma” and now he wanted to finish painting the house as it was what ma wanted him to accomplished before my wedding.

Eji: “Ma nak minum air nyor,eji g beli tp ma x sempat minum“, he is the one who’s been taking care of ma’s need when she’s sick and he’s the only one who was with ma until her last breath.

Asul: “Asul dapat 7A IB,nak tunjuk ko ma tapi..“,he’s going to sit for PMR this year and that is his best achievement so far and he wanted to show the marks to ma and he told us to make it as a secret until he showed the report card to her himself…unfortunately he never had a chance to do soand until now he never did showed the report card to anybody.

Alin: She’s speechless,she barely talks,she doesnt really said anything about ma,but everybody knows that wehenever anyone was talking about ma,she’ll started crying.When I sleep with her, I could hear her calling “ma…ma”.

Makcik: She’s losing her best advisor as ma is the one who solves her problems and ma is the one she called when she’s bored.

Ayahcik: He couldnt really stay at home during afternoon as it is the time that he always spent at home with ma.

Me: there’s so much memories of her in my mind that will never vanishes with time.One week before she left me,she was talking on the phone for about half an hour with me and before she hanged up she said:”Ma dah bagi didikan agama yg cukup utk anak2 ma.Pandai2 la pilih yg mana baik & buruk”

Don't get me wrong when u read this as I don't mean to ask for any sympathy.I’ll be strong like ma,I’ll never shows my weakness to the others jut like ma.This is just a way for me to express the things lingering in my head and this is the best place for me to ensure that anyone who reads this will treasure ur mum when she’s still alive!

Thursday, 26 June 2008

I was sitting at the London Heathrow Airport, it is one of the most busiest airport in the world.

But I was not borthered with all the hustle bustle things going around me right now coz I’m living in my own world.I’m sitting in front of the announcement screen,waiting for the gate number and here I am..crying again….

Abah always said that I’m still her little girl that he used to bring around on his back and to carry to bed whenever I slept in front of tv.Ma always asked me when will I’ll be more matured? and now I have the answer. This incident has turns my world upside down.

Despite of the fact that this is the hardest time in my life so far,it is also giving me the biggest lesson that I’ve to learned in my life.

Ma, I promise that I wont fight with Awin anymore.

Ma,I know that you truly understands why I envy Awin.It was because of u! I dont want Awin to take my place as ur baby girl.

Ma,I wont be jealous towards Awin anymore as there’s no u anymore to be fight for.

I’ll take good care of Awin so that she’ll never feels like losing u.I’ll grew matured as u wanted me to be.I’ll cook for abah and the boys just like how u’ve taught me to.I’ll try as hard that I could to be anything that u wanted me to be so that everybody will know how great u are as a mother.

About Me

yatie chomeyl

fukuoka, kyushu, Japan

• A wife + mommy + student who is now living in the Ultraman's hometown;
••trying real hard to survive in her Permanent Head Damage studies. ○○○
••• She self-proclaimed herself as Yatie Chomeyl in order to sound & look cute. ○○○
••• Loves ♥ traveling + early childhood education + culture + entertainment + shopping!. ○○○
••• Her studies has bring her to lot of places in Europe and Japan; so the theme of her blog goes : "Spaghetti kuah percik, Sushi cicah budu".○○○
••• Enjoy her ramblings!.

DISCLAIMER

This blog is intended to provide a semi-permanent point in time snapshot and manifestation of the various memories running around my brain that require long term synthesis. I'm not here to brag on but to keep the memories alive.

Feel free to browse through it and read the contents written here BUT feel free also to notify me if you want to use my writings or my pictures at some other places (copyright reserved).