Valve president Gabe Newell said he's "confident that savvy investors will immediately see the value" in thisPortal 2 "investment opportunity" video, the first of a series. I'm no market savant, but throwing money into a company with quality-assurance issues doesn't sound like a good idea.

Video Blips:

• Portal 2's Aperture Laboratories proudly wields its scientific expertise by showcasing the wonder of panels. If you really want to invest, it's important to make the distinction between regular, friendly panels and those adorned with sharp, not-so-friendly spikes.

Continue after the break for New York's finest moment in Crysis 2's launch trailer, the tenacity of the grizzled Marines in Operation Flashpoint: Red River, and a leaked employee orientation video on how to coexist with Swarm's Swarmites inside the workspace.

• I've finally found something more distracting than Crysis 2's visuals: this launch trailer's music. Now, if I can only find the "Maximum Mute" button on my Nanosuit….

• The Marines in Operation Flashpoint: Red River know how to avoid and deal with death. Here's a wacky idea: Try not to get involved with far-flung conflicts in the first place. That sidesteps the "getting shot in the face" scenario rather well.

• Working with Swarmites can be an enjoyable and enlightening experience. Their special brand of coffee, for example, offers a refreshing taste and a noticeable boost in energy!