musings of a counselor

Interview: Part 9

What would your top 3 tips be for women who feel like they are doing all the work in the relationship or don’t know where they stand in their relationship or they are not getting the kind of commitment from their partner?

Every relationship is going to have it’s ups and downs, but also remember a relationship is a two way street. If you feel like you are putting all the work into it, there is something that is off and either needs to get fixed immediately or you need to hop on out. Three tips for those of you who are in that situation would include:

Have a little bit of patience with him. Is there a reason he has pulled back? Is work going well? Is he under family stress? Did he experience something out of the ordinary that has shaken him up a bit? If so, give him some time and allow him to heal or seek help to move past this stumbling block. Figure out how you can come alongside him and support him in the way that is best for him. What would work for you may not be what works for him.

Talk to him. A relationship is based on communication. If you’re not letting him know your needs he won’t be able to provide you what you’re expecting. He’s not a mind reader, even though that would be what every woman wants.

Let it go. If you’ve done your part, you’ve talked to him, laid it out, and he’s still not getting it, it’s going to take a lot more than your patience for him to get things sorted out. You also don’t want to wait around for him if you’re sure of what you’re looking for. This won’t be the easy thing to do, but sometimes it takes losing something great to realize what was there. That may be the case for him, and if it’s not there are other men out there that can provide you with emotional support and commitment.