I was guilted into joining the programming committee at my synagogue and I must have been high during the meeting because I realize that I was somehow roped into leading a book club and teaching folk dancing. I hate public speaking/engagement of any kind and haven't done dancing of this type in many years. Perhaps I should convert so I can get out of this?

Ah ok I'll vent. I am getting sick and tired about feeling like an ugly American, more and more every single day even though it's not my fault or the fault of the majority of American peeps. Every single fucking day. I used to feel good about being a citizen of this country, but now I cringe at the thought of how we are perceived by the world community. And it gets worse every day.

We had lunch and beers watching soccer a couple weeks ago with my nephew who is getting married next month to a German girl, really sweet and sharp. Lisa said something really telling. She said that when she was growing up, everyone in her country thought it was awesome for German peeps coming to the United States. But now, the reaction to her coming to the U.S. is, "Why the hell would you want to do THAT?!"

I keep waiting for the embarrassment to stop or at least slow, but it doesn't.

FWIW—we just got back from a canal cruise thru Central Europe and there is a lot of evidence that those countries are starting to turn from populism and.perhaps slowly towards a resurgence of nationalism . For example, Poland passed a law that makes it a crime to say or write that Poland cooperated with the Nazis during WW2 .Denmark is requiring child immigrants to attend “naturalization “classes “. Many of those countries are becomig more restrictive towards immigration. FRance has many vocal anti-immigrant politicians ..

I’m also sick and tired of feeling ugly and I agree with what you say .What I fear is that this pestilence will spread further.

We've been through most of western and central Europe in the past 6 years, but didn't notice any hostility towards other nations including our own. And that includes in our trip to Italy a couple months ago.

But you're right that it's a trend. Witness Brexit, and Germany's very recent compromise on immigrants as well as the examples you mention.

The U.S. is accelerating the pestilence of hatred, fear and isolation. Even and especially among our friends and allies in the world. And that's what pisses me off, depresses me and embarrasses the hell out of me. We are the world example of fear and hatred and selfishness. That isn't how it should be.

I wonder if what is going on is perhaps the destruction of American myths. Many of us (myself and I dare say you also ) grew up and believed that Americans were better that others—-less racist, compassionate , altrustic —and we felt that each year things would get better.We were exceptional amongst nations and peoples.. if so, Trump has shattered that myth and exposed the realities of our society and culture. . He didn’t start this and he has not been in office long enough to grow the hatred to this size , but he has enough animal intelligence to use the underlying racism and economic anxiety to further his perverted goals.

One upbeat note is that I;m very glad that Trump is such an incompetent politician. He actually has accomplished very little in spite of the hype and bluster. I shudder to think what he could do with the political acumen of LBJ or Clinton.

No, here is where I have to disagree with you, sideshow. The American "myths" are as real as other myths in history i.e. Nordic, far eastern, most religions etc. Those myths aren't lies or fabrications but rather an expression of what is good and bad in us and all humanity. You're right that we were exceptional in recent times until the past couple years. That doesn't mean that we were better than others...hell, our history is full of genocide, slavery, imperialism, selfish greed blah blah. We still fall short internally in many ways. But we have made progress and until recently have been a beacon of fairness, inclusion, human rights, cooperation, compassion and so much more on the world stage. Like you suggest, that mythical reality is being destroyed.

I'm hoping the world recognizes that this is a temporary aberration, although the drip drip drip chip chip chip is as destructive as a nuclear bomb and recognized by our friends around the planet. I get a justified feeling that the whole formerly friendly world hates us more and more. It's damn hard to be an optimist in the current world (although I continue to be), and why I'm so angry and depressed about the hatred and fear spreading around the globe with Washington D.C. as the epicenter. Until that stops, I'll continue to be embarrassed as an American.

I don't think your statement is true. If you look at the trends in many parts of Europe, there has been a marked increase in nationalism and a substantial rise in right wing anti-immigrant parties and sentiment that predates Trump and has to do with Europe's own immigrant crisis. Look at Austria, Hungary, Poland, Greece, Sweden, Italy, Brexit, etc. etc. And then there is the rise in fundamentalist governments in the Middle East, but I assume that your embarrassment about being American extends to your peers in Europe, and not necessarily the Arab world.

I also recall that many people had this same lament about being embarrassed to be American when Bush was president, which prompted Obama's apology tour in Europe and his speech to the Arab world. Perhaps these feelings just ebb and flow with your alignment with the policies of the current administration? Keep in mind that Europe has had and continues to have its own major problems with racism, anti-Semitism, and other hatreds and it is important to keep the nuances in perspective and not assuming it all flows from the United States.

You're absolutely right about the marked increase in nationalism (i.e. isolationism) and other right wing policies/sentiment like anti-immigration predating Trump. I mentioned Brexit and Germany's policy change in my post you replied to as examples how the U.S. is not alone in the sentiment of hate, fear and isolationism, and there are many more. But I stand by my statement how we are accelerating that pestilence. The sheer volume of such official and unofficial international policy changes in the last 18 months is staggering if you stop to think about it. From the Muslim ban, to pulling out of treaties and agreements, to hating on NATO, to deportations, to prosecution uptick, to attempts at building a wall and ending DACA (both thankfully unsuccessful so far thanks to Congress and the courts), to tariffs, to dissing friend/ally countries and their leaders, to cutbacks and slowdowns in immigration categories, to denigrating people from "shithole" countries and more. I'm horrified also by the domestic targeting of vulnerable people, groups, and the environment but that's not internationally embarrassing except that it lessens our righteousness cred in the world.

Sure, there always have been similar policies and practices to varying degrees by previous administrations and Congresses, of both parties. But nothing close to the frequency and scope of what we're seeing now. Even bucking good conservative ideas like avoiding tariff-based trade wars with our trading partners. While I may have disagreed with international policies and sentiments of both parties over the past half century, I never was embarrassed like I have been daily over the past 18 months. This is not part of an ebb-and-flow. This is a continuing plunge into an embarrassing abyss and why I'm pissed.

You're also right that I've mostly focused on Europe (although also considered our friends in Canada, Mexico and others in the western hemisphere) and not the Middle East. But pulling out of the Iran deal which verifiably was working: 1) dissed our friends around the world; 2) gives Iran an opportunity to say f.u. to the deal because of our breach; and 3) put us on an island without the weight of the signatories to the deal. That's embarrassing. Thankfully, we haven't isolated from our best friend in the region, Israel, and in fact solidified that friendship which I think is wonderful even with the risk of upsetting balance in the region. There's no rational reason that we can't keep and solidify other established friendships around the globe. I'm trying to think of a single other friend or ally in the world that we haven't dissed or harmed in some fashion, and am coming up blank. That is why I'm embarrassed enough to vent about this.

I guess politics is a Rohrschach test so I guess I see the same facts differently because I am coming at it from a different perspective. Some of the things you mention, increase in deportations and hating on allies were things that Obama did too (only different allies), although I agree that you can't compare Obama and Trump as to form or style or presidential temperament, and understand your embarrassment from the current administration that has handled many issues in at best, a clumsy and inept manner unfit for the reputation of the US. I fully support pulling out of the Iran deal and didn't approve the Obama administration handing the regime huge suitcases of cash which they likely put right into the hands of Hezbollah, and the Assad regime (it's horrible to think we helped them buy their chemical weapons ). As for dissing our allies on that treaty, our allies (the Europeans) just want to make economic deals with Iran to support their faltering economies, without considering the potential security cost. Given the state of the Iranian economy and internal dissent, I think this is a good time to re-institute sanctions with the goal of renegotiating a better deal, or God willing, seeing regime change (a long shot, I know). As for upsetting the "balance of power" in the Mideast, the balance has changed tremendously with surprising allies such as Israel and Saudi Arabia and some of the gulf states, given the increasing threat posed by Iran.

One aspect that no one seems to mention is that the economy has flourished under Trump so far (and for better of worse, each president gets "credit" for the economy on his watch). For example, African American unemployment is the lowest it has been in a generation. I consider the right to a job to be a fundamental human right and prefer a system with increased opportunities from the private sector than government mandated transfers of wealth, which seems to be the preferred method under Democratic presidents.

Yep the glorious years under Obama where unemployment went down significantly, the stock market went from 7900 to 19700, the deficit was cut in 1/2, 75 straight months of job growth. That's from the Wall Street Journal too. Job growth has slowed a little (about 1,000/month) under Trump compared to Obama (that's from the Labor Dept) and Obama inherited an economy in recession.

For Trump to have the same % in stock market rise that Obama did after the first 4 years (7900-13,500), stocks would have to go to 31,200 by Jan 20, 2021. Since the market has been basically flat the last 7 months (since the tax cut was passed, which is Trump's economic plan), it certainly doesn't seem like that's going to happen. I honestly have no clue why people are so bullish about Trump's economy and hated Obama's since Obama's performance has surpassed what Trump has done so far. Tell me, what stats do you use to evaluate an economy?

I would love to be wrong, but right now the numbers certainly don't say I am.

thanks for the info -- I will review it more carefully when I have time. Just off the top, it seems a bit unfair to compare the percentage change in stock market rise from 2009 since Obama as you said, was coming out of a recession with a severely deflated market (which managed to recover under Obama's watch, and for which I give him credit, for sure). Perhaps more fair to compare the stock market from January 2012 (S&P 12,400) to December 2015 (S&P at 17,400) and see how Trump does in the same time frame (obviously he is so volatile, things could change drastically so we should wait and see).

It is true that job growth increased each year under Obama, but I think it is fair to characterize it as sluggish (although again, I will look more closely at the stats on this from reliable sources), but seems to be stronger now, with reports about people who previously stopped looking for work (who aren't counted as unemployed) now back in the market and finding jobs. Another indication that the economy overall is doing better is the fact that the Fed is raising interest rates for the first time and investment by companies seems to be dramatically up. In my own field (real estate & construction), I have never seen a level of deals and projects that have come in since mid 2016 ever in my career. Anecdotal evidence for sure, but it seems to be the shared experience of many in my field.

I think there is a difference between economic activity and economic health that is going to become more apparent over time with this administration. It does not seem surprising that slashing corporate taxes and gutting regulation would cause a near-term uptick in economic activity. But running trillion-dollar deficits in the later stages of an expansion period is going to make it that much harder to pull out of the next cyclical downturn (particularly if we are in the middle of a trade war), and over time the externality costs of abandoned regulatory oversight will start to kick in as well.

You do realize that Obama had more job growth than Trump has had, don’t you? Obama averaged about 1000 more/month than Trump. So if Obama’s was “sluggish”, Trumps would be worse than sluggish and not better. It’s actually weaker. That’s from the monthly jobs reports done by the dept of Labor.

I’d be happy to compare the stock markets at any point. They are favorable %wise to Obama compared to Trump. Using the time period you suggested, Trump would have to get to about 28,000. Do you know many economists who are predicting that? Because I’ve seen very few (especially after the last 7 months).

As to your industry, look at the time period of when it started. You’re talking 6-9 months before Trump took office yet giving Trump all the credit.

Of course my angst here is international, although I did bring up domestic. I won't say anything more about domestic except that I agree generally with tizzy although I disagree that Obama's economy was *better* than Trump's. All measures improved under Obama early and over 8 years but I acknowledge that many measures have improved even at a greater rate over the past 18 months. Jury is out on final verdict on the economy when tariffs, rust industries etc. have whatever effect they ultimately have. Domestic social policies also need the test of history. But again, I'm focusing on international policies that have me embarrassed and angry.

Once again, I agree with you on a lot of what you say about the U.S on the international scene...that much of how we view world politics is through our own lenses, and that much of my embarrassment is because of the clumsy inept (I'd add hostile and bullying) style of the current administration compared to the style and temperament of the last administration and every administration over the past century.

I'll also give you the benefit of the doubt that it's possible that us pulling out of the Iran deal *could* result in something better ultimately. But unilaterally pulling out over objections from our allies (just like the climate accord) had absolutely no rational purpose (unless you consider dismantling another Obama accomplishment rational for that reason alone, which obviously is Trump's reason for most everything he's done). Since we pulled out unilaterally, we are on an island like I mentioned before. We have essentially zero leverage or power without the backing of our allies and foes despite their own economic interests. If we wanted to renegotiate the deal (which indisputably was working), we should have at least lined up a supporter or two at a minimum.

The Saudis and Israel always have been our allies to a lesser and greater extent respectively. Granted, the last administration strained our relationship with Israel somewhat, but always kept them as our best friend in the region. Our support of regimes and factions in the middle east, central america and other areas of the world for political and strategic purposes often has been embarrassing especially in retrospect. I've cringed of actions of every administration from Kennedy all the way through Obama at times but could live with them as rational or necessary on some level. But the constant irrational international embarrassments of the current administration pointedly directed at our friends and allies is more than clumsy or inept. Those actions border on evil which is not how I want to be viewed as an American. I won't disavow my President, ever, because he's our elected leader. But that doesn't stop me from being embarrassed and angry about how he's fucking up this country's stature as a world leader to promote his brand and personal agenda.

I appreciate your thoughtful responses, Jasz. I've been super busy at work so haven't been able to read carefully and respond in detail (which I like to do because even though I don't think we necessarily see eye to eye on things, I value your outlook and opinion and always try to see if I can understand where you are coming from.)

I appreciate your thoughtful responses too, gg...all of them make me think and I've changed my outlook on a couple things. I do think we see eye to eye on most things, especially human but also political. So we're clear, my comments and responses here are more emotional than rational (although of course my comments make perfect rational sense too). This is a vent thread, after all.

I think trump is a failure internationally. Starting a trade war was a big mistake and I hope the rest of the world forms treaties and agreements with out him. Globalization is here to stay and trump has shown he really isn't sophisticated enough to make deals - only cry about the ones made like a little 2 year old. The US will be left behind and lose its stature in the world which is already happening. Trump could change tone and maybe turn things around but he doesn't seem to listen to anyone. Good luck !!!

Yeah. The fact that a deranged racist thug somehow became president could maybe be explained away by the fact that he was running against a candidate that so many people loathed, but it is pretty tough to look at the fact that the GOP Congress has almost completely rolled over for him and that 87% of Republicans approve of his hateful autocracy and have a lot of optimism about the future.

Well, I do expect substantial Democratic gains in the midterms even if the market and economy continue to grow. Republicans may like him, but his overall popularity is very low, and Congress is even less popular, so it should be a tough climate for GOP incumbents.

At a race Dh and I volunteered at a few months ago, a french runner came through having followed an american runner to skip a section of the course. He told us all saying he needed to drop bc he was now DQd, tho yes the american runner guy was continuing on oblivious. At the Aid Station, french guy is kinda upset and trying to explain (no one would have even noticed, he was just purely honest) "I followed the american I figured he knew which way to go." All 7 of us at aid station laughed and said never follow an american. Another volunteer said: "Have you seen our president? I mean really, we suck."

can I just put a quick "OMG STOP COUGHING AND HACKING" about my cube neighbor?it's been 3 frickin' days and I swear to god a lung is going to come flying over the divider at me at any time. he keeps taking allergy pills and getting up and going outside to let his loogies fly, but the incessant coughing is unbelievable. this morning he said "man I'm so tired of this" and and I said "so are we, L" ugh...

I literally almost never miss time from work for sickness because I almost never get sick. But a couple weeks ago I went home mid-morning because I was coughing like that. Even though I have a separate office in the corner of our suite, I didn't want to infect my colleagues. Basic human decency. (I did infect mrs. flamus with the stupid summer cold, even if my officemates escaped. Maybe I should have gotten a hotel room to quarantine myself. )

I'd be the last to begrudge anyone for some good-natured fun-poking at The Beard, but your posts come off as kind of mean-spirited in a way that seems a bit counterproductive in a forum with maybe a couple dozen active participants.

I have a former coworker named Hassan. I found out yesterday that another coworker wanted to call Hassan by some other name because she thought his name was too terrorist-y. Apparently she was spoken to by HR about this. Last week this same woman was promoted to SVP. This all makes me very very angry. The little respect I had for this woman went out the window when I heard about this. It also makes me wonder if she has an actual problem with another of my coworkers, whose last name is Youssef, or if she just doesn’t like him because of his name.

I have a foreign sounding first name and I have been asked multiple time by teachers, colleagues, etc. "do you have a nickname, or can we call you something else?" I always say "no, you can call me by my name. I'm not picky on the pronounciation and anything close is good enough for me."

My last name (Maher) is spelled the same as a first name common in some Middle Eastern countries. A neighbor of Egyptian lineage has it as his first name...we met shortly after he moved in 3 houses down the street when his mail was misdirected to our house.

People often pronounce our name as "Mayor" or "Ma-her" & while my DW's genealogical research indicates the latter is one of the two common pronunciations used, we say it as "Mar". My last overseas business trip was to Israel and when departing, a Tel Aviv airport security officer did question me on the origin of my last name.

In grad school one of our professors (I think he might have been one of our advisors) didn't care to learn how to pronounce one of our fellow student's names, so he said, "I'm just going to call you George," and called him George. The guy's name was Peng.

I'm not picky on the pronounciation and anything close is good enough for me.Do you say this because it's difficult for Americans to pronounce or because you've given up on people making an effort to learn how it pronounce it correctly? If it's the latter, that makes me sad and angry both.

No honestly, I think it's nice that people make an effort and I don't ask for anything more. I should add that the experiences of having people to ask to call me something else have been few and far between. Most people are very kind and do their best with it. It also helps to live in LA where everyone has a "weird" name, either because they are foreign born or their parents are celebrities or celebrity wanna bees.

I ran with a woman for almost 15 years. I avoided saying her last name whenever possible. One day she was showing me a picture of her husband's family and how they definitely all looked alike. Once she said "all those H...."s waiting for us on the porch" I got her name straight and never butchered it again. (Name was Croatian)

"I have a former coworker named Hassan. I found out yesterday that another coworker wanted to call Hassan by some other name because she thought his name was too terrorist-y. :mutmad: Apparently she was spoken to by HR about this."

Yeah...I can't think of any HR department I have ever had any interactions with who would come any where near tolerating someone coming to them to complain about a terroist-y name (Hassan, Muhamed, Yousef, Hussein..whatever). I would put money on it not being true. You might want to check your sources (whomever you "heard" it from) again. Doesn't pass the sniff test.

This has been really bothering me, so I did go back to my source but I haven't heard back yet. I do admit that she might have stretched the truth that the lady was written up by HR, so I am trying to find out if that part actually happened.

UPDATE: this story has been validated by 2 very solid sources. Said sources are also pissed Off at the promotion. WTF is wrong with my company.

And now I’m conflicted about how I would act around this person (I have to work with her directly) and if I should tell my boss about this since my other coworker with the foreign last name reports to him too. Ugh.

A couple of months ago a colleague ran into our parked car and made a huge dent. Repair estimate - $5000. His insurance was going to take care of the whole thing, so car went in to the shop a couple of weeks ago. Was going to take a week, and in the meantime we got a loaner car.We got the call that our car was ready. I got into loaner car to go return it, backed out of the garage, right into a truck that a worker working on our neighbor's house decided to park in our driveway. Loaner car bumper has a huge dent.

After 20 years driving with no accidents. Repair estimate on loaner car...$800.

Are you guys having hot and humid weather? The humidity can set off the fire alarms. When we lived in an apartment the fire alarms would go off all the time during heat waves. One night where we didn't sleep because the alarm went off several times.

I asked last week to move to another branch that has an opening in my department that is closer to my house. My supervisor is on maternity leave so I emailed my manager to request the transfer. I copied the HR manager who told me how to proceed. My manager called my supervisor at home and supervisor (who I LOVE) started texting me if there was anyway she could convince me to stay I think that is kinda shitty. I said no, I'm done with traffic and our expansion is complete (the only reason I passed on the last opening at the other branch).

I heard nothing from anyone after that. I finally asked manager what the next step is, she told me I'd hear once the job posting is closed. Makes sense, I guess that's policy. I have not told anyone I work with tho and I keep thinking about how I'm leaving them high and dry, while supervisor is also out. We've had so much turn over in youth at our location over the past 18mos, I'll be the third to leave, to go to other branches. I have been trying to stick it out and waiting for the opening at this other branch.

I don't know if this is a real vent but I feel all kinds of apprehensive about how my coworkers will react. At the same time the other branch is 7mi from my house, it is so much less chaotic (our branch has become six flags, not a library, it is INSANE and just no longer pleasant to work there) and I am just hoping they approve my transfer....but will I be screwed later if another position (maybe promotion) opens if I ask to move now? I feel like I have no one to talk this through about that knows how our system works HR wise and unspoken rules work.

My advice on the highly specific social dynamics of your workplace is that you should take the new job but leave a lovely fruit basket behind for the staff of your old branch in order to make sure everything is still good.

I thought of you today when we went to see a puppet show at a local library branch. It was the most bizarre story with a few kids running out in tears in the middle, and yelling in a panic "I'm scared, I wanna go!" But the best part was that they wanted to record parts of it for publicity, so thenlibrarians had little signs you could hold if you didn't want your pics put up on social media. The signs said, " No Photo's Please!"

This one was supposed to teach kids about invasive weeds that are killing native NZ flora. So there was a baby tree that was being attacked by all sorts of scary plants. One of them looked like it was humping the tree while a little girl puppet was screaming, "stop smothering the baby tree!" and performing all sorts of karate moves until one plant smothered her and she collapsed. She was finally revived by a local bird and they all lived happily ever after.It was somewhat interactive, so occasionally, some of the plants came and smothered the kids sitting in the front row.

I can see mini sitting in therapy in a couple decades trying to get to the bottom of his fear of dandelions.

Mini 2.0 is due to make an appearance in a couple of days. Some acquaintances were asking how long Id be in the hospital, and customary here is 2-3 nights. They asked, oh, and who's going to cook and take care of mini during this time, at which point DH said, "well, I am." Acquaintances respond with an impressed, "oooh!!! Superhero!!!"

yes. Cooking a meal and spending time with a four year old is totally the hard part in this scenario. If only I could cut my recovery time a little to help him out.