WIFE BEATING HUSBANDS AND POLYGAMY ANECDOTES (Post No.5007)

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Henry William Anglesea, a British peer and soldier who died in 1854, was angrily beating his wife. She pointed to a house maid and cried out,

“How much happier is that wench than I am?”

Her husband immediately kicked the maid downstairs and then said,

“Well, there is at least one grievance removed”.

xxx

Late one night a drunken husband, after spending his whole time at his cub, set out for home.

“Well”, said he to himself, “if I find my wife up I will scold her; what business she has to sit up, wasting fire and light, eh? and if I find her in bed, I will scold her; what right she has to go to bed before I get home?”

xxx

A Mormon acquaintance once inveigled Mark Twain into an argument on the issue of polygamy. After he had been beaten about the ears with long and tedious expositions justifying the practice, the climax was capped by the Mormon’s demand that he cite any passage of scripture expressly forbidding polygamy.

“Nothing easier”, Mark replied.

“No man can serve two masters”.

xxx

In his old age, after he quit the war path, Quanah Parker, the famous chief of the Comanches, adopted many of the Whiteman’s ways. But in one respect he clung to the custom of his fathers. He continued to be a polygamist.

He was a friend and admirer of Theodore Roosevelt and on one occasion when Roosevelt was touring Oklahoma, he drove out to Parker’s camp to see him. With pride Parker pointed out that he lived in a house like a white man, that his children went to a white man’s school, and he himself dressed like a white man.

Whereupon Roosevelt was moved to preach him a sermon on the subject of morality. “See here chief, why don’t you set your people a better example? A white man has only one wife, he is allowed only one at a time . Here you are living with five squaws. Why don’t you give four of them and remain faithful to the fifth?”

Parker stood still a moment, considering the proposition. Then he answered: You are my great white father, and I will do as you wish – on one condition.”

“What is the condition?” Roosevelt asked.

“You pick out the one I am to live with and then you go and kill the other four.”