October 04, 2013

An Open Letter to the Girardi Family

Well hello Girardis! I realize you don’t know me, nor would you
have any reason to care about me and my fellow Cubs fans for that matter, but I’ll
get right to my point.

We need you. Actually, that’s not true. We need your dad,
Joe Girardi, to be the 59th manager of the Chicago Cubs. And the
reason I’m talking to you about it is because your dad told reporters that each
of you gets a vote in what he decides to do next. And if he’s serious, what
that means is that it really doesn’t matter what your parents wants to do: you
outnumber them three to two, so it really comes down to the three of you.

We assume you’re Yankees fans (as you should be with your
dad as manager there the previous six seasons), so it may feel like it’s been a
long time since they’ve won a World Series: four whole years! Here in Cub
Nation, it’s been over a hundred. 105 to be exact. Your dad played for the Cubs
on two different occasions, so maybe he’s told you about that. That’s not a
drought, children; that’s Death Valley.

Your dad is a proven winner. He won Manager of the Year in
his first season with the Marlins, taking a team of nobodies to the verge of a
playoff berth. He then won a World Series with a team having the highest
payroll in baseball. This is exactly who we need on the North Side, someone who
can work with prospects and with highly-paid veterans.

So why would you have any interest in leaving New York? On
the face of it, I don’t know why you would. New York is a great place to live.
But just ask your dad: so is Chicago. Have you been here lately? Picture a
cleaner, less crowded New York, plus our large body of water adjacent to the city
has fresh water instead of salt. Plus, you probably haven’t seen the Bean, have
you? The Bean is great, you’ll love it.

And yes, the Cubs did have a chance to hire him back in 2007
when you still lived in the Chicago area, and your dad was looking for a job.
Heck, it was his dream job back then. They chose experience over talent and
desire, and well, it didn’t work out well.

Is this a little pathetic, a grown man groveling at the feet
of children? Absolutely, but we Cubs fans are a desperate lot. Is this selfish
of me to ask this of you? Of course it is. And trust me, I don’t feel good
about it. Asking you to leave your friends and your routine for a new life in
Chicago. But it’s come to this.

See, everyone wants to accomplish something in his life that
no one else has. For a baseball manager, that something is bringing a
championship to the Chicago Cubs. There’s no greater hill for your dear old dad
to climb. And you’ll get to be a part of it! You won’t believe your eyes, when
you watch the joy that your dad will bring to millions, when he hoists that
World Series trophy over his head. There will be nothing like it.

So when it’s family meeting time around the dinner table, I
hope you’ll take this to heart. Please, think of us. Think of history. And if
I’ve convinced any of you, remember that this is Chicago, so feel free to vote
early and often.