How many relationships have been destroyed or never initiated by the lack of communication?Parents? Sisters? Brothers? Children? Girlfriends? Boyfriends? Mates? Mentors? Bosses? Employees? Business Partners?

Communication is the gateway to all of the most beautiful things in life. We occupy our time on enhancing our looks, our homes, our education, our financial picture but if you don't know how to communicate with people one-on-one, all those things are pretty meaningless because nobody will want to be around ["yo' *ss"]. LOL. (I literally laughed out loud.)

LOVE DORSEYWhich brings me to my next statement: LOVE DORSEY.She's everything I never wanted to be: loud, hood, potty mouth.Well? I kinda love her because she speaks the truth and I respect that.

Being someone who is from Kentucky, raised on the southside of Chicago as well as the suburbs and lived all over Los Angeles as an adult, I have a bit of a love affair with the "hood." Some of my favorite aunties have the heart of "Cookie," brotha friends that have the enterprising spirit of Jay-Z and then some are actual real-life superstars. The thing I love the most about the "hood" is the REALNESS: unrefined, unvarnished, RAW. Yup! I like a little hood with my boujee boho.

I discovered this young woman on Facebook. Someone posted a video about leveling up your friendships which when I first watched it had about a 200K views and at the time of writing this it's over a million views. So apparently the si"star" resonates with many of us.

Last night I listened to an hour-long "rant" about COMMUNICATION entitled "Majority of conflicts are caused by . . ." [I'm not able to link the original video so search for her on Facebook]. She has a Youtube channel but this one isn't there.]

She goes on to talk about key elements in conflicts caused by poor communication with friends, mates, children and at work.

Key Points:

Don't ASSume someone knows what you're saying, thinking, doing, etc.

ASSuming someone already knows what you want, who you are, etc.

Be PRESENT and LISTEN instead of waiting to say what you have to say

LISTEN for understanding

SPEAK to be understood

Don't ASSume people know when you're upset

Don't ASSume people are thinking about what you have to do

"Open Your Brain. Slow Your Thoughts. Then Communicate."

ASK QUESTIONS and Seek to understand before things pile up

DISCUSS things in private, one-on-one.

DEAL with children at their age level

PAY ATTENTION to your children. They are communicating even if they don't speak.

Don't offend people you need in your life.

Be blunt and get to the bottom of it.

LEARN about your self and get in touch with your feelings.

Brilliant. Right?

A closed mouth doesn't get fed.Very few people can actually read your mind.Just learn yourself, speak your truth with your heart, seek to be understood while you seek to understand.

My friend Nadia Khalil and one of our master teachers on the 2012: Love & Beauty Journey reminds us that Love is Truth. When you speak and live in truth love is present and possible. Yes that can be scary when you are attached to people, situations, etc. That brings us to another topic: VULNERABILITY. The freedom to be, express, live with "Zero Fs." Very much like the freedom of children.

Communicating what's truth for you with vulnerability is what creates intimacy and connection. There's no way around it. It just resonates.

So stop being fake. Stop ASSuming. Because assuming makes an ASS out of U and ME. Just Ask.Tell. Request.

Thanks for reading.

♡ ☆ ♀Akua

​Day 27 of 1/12 Moons Waning Crescent

auset's​notebook

Akua Auset, the High Priestess of Holistic Beauty shares "mostly" daily notes on her personal culture of beauty.