The psychotherapist answered personal questions that many would like to ask.

The 34-year-old psychotherapist Daniel Wagner from Cologne, Germany, frankly answered a few questions that many would like to ask the therapist. Yes, a practicing psychotherapist answered personal questions that many would like to ask.

Is it true that most psychotherapists themselves deal with mental health problems?

Daniel Wagner: In this common opinion there is, perhaps, a grain of truth. Of course, some of my colleagues can fall into this category. On the other hand, who can really explain what “normal” means? Personally, I can not. Through my practice, I realized one thing: there is no clear distinction between mental health and mental illness. Everyone has their own quirks, and most have passed through difficult children's experiences.

What are your worst childhood memories?

My childhood was definitely not difficult. But, as a psychotherapist, I had to learn to think about my childhood. Personally, I was a “harmonizer” (a people-oriented person, he is interested in communication, he avoids conflicts, thinks not to offend the interlocutor). When conflicts arose between my brother and my parents, I tried to help resolve them. With such a character it can be difficult in life - you focus on the welfare of others and do not think about yourself. Today I know how important it is to take care of myself as well.

Have you ever been annoyed by the "nagging" of your customers?

I do not think it is "whining." Well, if someone decides to turn to a psychotherapist, then he really had a problem. Nobody comes to the psychotherapist just to have a good cry. What some take for “whining”, I see as a manifestation of a deeper problem.

As a psychotherapist, you must keep everything your client tells you. But, in reality, how often do you share with your friends “interesting cases” from your practice?

Indeed, there are quite a few such cases, and the temptation to discuss them with friends is great.But I never succumbed to such a temptation. Keeping medical confidentiality is one of the most important rules in my work.

Among my clients are famous politicians, actors and businessmen. It is important to be able to keep your mouth shut, even if I find out about such really serious business as, for example, official misconduct. Sometimes I find out about the upcoming scandal even before reports about him literally blow up the media.

How often do you catch your customers in a lie?

This happens, for example, when it comes to impotence. Many men do not talk about it at the first meeting with a psychotherapist. Some even try to act underlined like a man to make a good impression. But as soon as they get imbued with trust in me, they talk about their problems. This is a completely normal situation. I am not a policeman and not a lawyer, my job is not to catch people in a lie, but to help them deal with their problems.

Did you have customers you were afraid of?

There were situations when the client showed aggression. But I was never afraid that someone would attack me with fists. Sometimes I worry that something can happen to my client or other people from his environment. For example, I have to work with different people, including pedophiles.Of course, I’m worried that such a client might give in to the impulse, his thoughts may turn into actions, and he will do something terrible.

Did you have clients who tried to commit suicide?

Fortunately, while there were none. But it is likely that this may happen at some stage of my work. If a client informs me that he wants to commit suicide, I have to decide whether he will live to our next meeting, or I must protect him from myself by placing him in an appropriate institution, where he will be under round the clock supervision. However, such cases are very rare. With clients you can usually find mutual understanding and dissuade them from irreparable.

Can you make your client cry if you want to?

I do not think. Not. Even if I knew how to hurt a living thing, why would I need it? In my work, the likelihood that a client will cry during a session is about 50%. Tears welling themselves.

How often do customers fall in love with you?

Sometimes it happens - with both men and women. Some are fairly straightforward, but more often they just ask to talk to them outside the office.I understand what motivates my clients, because as a doctor, I have to listen to them carefully anyway, feel their feelings, take everything very seriously, and be useful to them - of course, all this has people to me.

Therefore, I tell clients that their location is flattering to me, and then I try to explain what this arrangement actually causes for them (all of the above). I do not twist romance with customers. I am forbidden by law to enter into private or business relationships with a client until 10 years have passed since our last session.

How does a person feel at a psychotherapist?

I think that a reception with a psychotherapist is the best thing that can happen to you. Do you think it is easy to find a knowledgeable person who can help cope with emotions? He also knows how to listen when you talk about your experiences.