The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment." Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"

The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles."

The interviewer grimaces and then says, "Okay. You've got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 am, and plan on starting at 10:00 am every day."

The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 PM, why don't you want me here until 10:00 am?"

"This is a government job", the interviewer says. "For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that."

A former Sergeant , having served his time with the Marine Corps,
took a new job as a school teacher, but just before the school year
started he injured his back.

He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his
body. Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable.
On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest
students in the school.

The smart aleck punks, having already heard the new teacher was a
former Marine, were leery of him and decided to see how tough he
really was, before trying any pranks. Walking confidently into the
rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down
at his desk.

When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he picked up a stapler and
promptly stapled the tie to his chest.

__________________Dave K,TLCA#20150,KFØDOG,'69 FJ40-"Toyolet",'92 FJ80 {Isuzu diesel conversion underway} ,2011 Replica M416 w/RTT,'98 Taco Xtracab 4X4,Project='72 FJ40,'05 Passat TDI-DD."It is the first responsibility of every citizen to question authority." "A republic, if you can keep it". Benjamin Franklin 1706-1790"The problem with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people's money [to spend]." Margaret Thatcher 1925-2013

Ige, a Norwegian chicka wants a job, but the foreman doesn’t want to hire her, so he says he won't hire her until he passes a little math test. Here is your first question, the foreman said. 'Without using numbers, represent the number 9.'

'Without numbers?' The Norwegian says, 'Dat's easy.' and proceeds to draw three trees.

What's this?' the boss asks.

Vot! You got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine,' says the Norwegian.

'Fair enough,' says the boss. 'Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time represent the number 99.'

The Norwegian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that she has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. 'Dar ya go!'

The boss scratches his head and says, 'How on earth do you get that to represent 99?'

'You must be from Iowa…Each of DA trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99.'

The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Norwegian, so he says, 'All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100.'

The Norwegian chica stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, 'Dar ya go! Von hundred!'

The boss looks at the attempt. 'You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!'

The Norwegian winces and shakes her head…UFF-DAH…you must be a Finlander from Iowa…she leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, 'A little dog come along and pooped by each tree.

So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, and dat makes von hundred !!