I try too hard to make everyone happy, even if it means hurting myself.
I swim across oceans for people who wouldn’t even jump over a puddle for me.
I give everything I have to people who wouldn’t give me a small piece.
I sacrifice everything, even if it means I will lose in the end.
I give love and respect to people who constantly break me down.

Today I feel it again. The pain I feel hearing those words come from the one I thought would love me unconditionally. When I thought my heart was broken before I never knew what it truly felt like until I heard those words coming out of your mouth. I have no one to turn to, you made sure of that. I have no one who understands how hard it is being here and how hard I’m trying to get validation from you. You don’t know how hard I work just to keep you happy. I’ve lived my whole life serving you. Doing everything I can to make sure you’re name was always shiny. I took the fall for you time after time. I gave up my childhood for you, something I had a right to I left behind without even been give...

My first thought when I wake, and my last one before I fall asleep, the reason I cry and the reason I smile when I think of all the good times. I wonder if you miss me, if you think of me, and if you wonder what life would be with me, cause I sure as hell do.
I’m jealous of the one who got to be where I wanted to be, by your side, making your smile and making you happy. I can’t say I wasn’t happy when you both called it quits cause it hurt me to see you happy with someone else.
Where we left off is so confusing, I don’t know if you hate me, if you want a reason, if you’re waiting for me to apologise and admit I was wrong...

Never knew I could know a love so pure and find this deep happiness that I now have. I couldn't be more grateful and will forever be thankful for this blessing. The blessing of a child can never be wrong, children bring out the best in people and I find that to be true now more than ever.

We often cut ourselves short to please the ones we think we love. We change ourselves, roughly mend our broken pieces and fake a smile. We put our feelings aside, we make sacrifices and we constantly lie to ourselves that all this is OK.
It's not until they break our hearts right back that we realize, we weren't truly happy. We weren't 'all there'. Lost in the pain, disguised as momentary happiness, we pushed aside our grieving to please someone else. We let ourselves believe every lie they tell us only for their selfish gain. We let ourselves believe that the ill treatment is normal. We let ourselves believe that we don't deserve to be truly happy again, that pain is all we now know.
Fuck ...