Saturday, March 26, 2011

3 am Tears.

I often find myself crying at this hour.I wish I could cry alone though. For some reason at this time ofnight, certain thoughts hit me.And they hit me hard.

I have this paranoia.Paranoia of life. I constantly fear love, failure, people, trust,school, death and just life in general.Everything around me terrifies me.

Sometimes I wonder...what was Iput on this planet earth for? And whyin the sane hell can't I follow my dreams?WHY am I stuck in a place where Ifeel useless and completely powerless. I try, and try and all I do is fail. Thats not supposed to happen. Is it? NO.

I cry. And when I cry its because I'mhurt, scared, terrified, scarred...and so on.The list goes on and on. I am afraidof life and what life has to offer meor yet...what it "doesn't" have to offer me.

Sometimes, I feel absolutely worthless.Useless. Stupid. Ugly. Not myself, and out ofmy own damn skin..