Must. sleep.

Sorry I’ve been so bad about answering comments lately. I’m exhausted (more on that below) and the depression is making it tough to do certain tasks.

But I’m going to try to catch up (“try” being the operative word) in the next day or so. Because I really do value your guys’ input and feedback. The conversation is at least half of why I’ve been blogging for so damn long.

(Lack of) sleeeeeep

Today is the second day in a row that I’ve woken up before 6 a.m. It’s the fifth in the past week. A sixth day, I was able to sleep until 7 a.m., but that’s still an hour before my alarm.

I’m mainly waking up at or before 6 a.m. And it’s taking me until at least 11 p.m. to fall asleep, even when I try going to bed at 9 or 9:30.

As best I remember from pre-GBS days (lo, these many years ago), this is the equivalent of three or four hours’ sleep for a healthy person.

My ideal sleep amount is about eight-and-a-half to nine hours. I think I’ve gotten that maybe twice in the past two and a half weeks. (Though admittedly my exhaustion is making my memory a little fuzzy.)

I’m trying

In these situations, I can usually supplement bad or too little sleep with naps. But I’m even having trouble with those. I lie there for 30 to 45 minutes and then give up. Or I finally drop off, but it usually lasts a half hour or less.

The melatonin officially isn’t working. I even tried taking a second tablet. Later, I read that this can actually hurt your sleep cycle, but I think that’s more about making it hard to wake up in the morning. And I didn’t see a difference either way.

I did finally get around to putting a comforter up over the window, something I’d been meaning (but too tired) to do for a few days. It’s a light comforter, so it still lets some light in. Still, it blocks a decent amount.

I slept well that night. But apparently that was just cumulative exhaustion because the next two nights I’ve been back up to early morning wake-ups.

Give me drugs!

I was already considering sleep meds, but yesterday was the clincher. Mainly because I was so tired that I started crying about it. Tim had to call the doctor for me.

They didn’t respond to his voicemail, so having calmed down, I followed up that afternoon. I told them the situation, and they said they had a 10:30 a.m. today. I agreed immediately, but was so exhausted that I nearly hung up without giving my name.

I’m going to ask for a week or two worth of Lunesta or some similar drug. Anything other than Ambien or Trazodone, which no longer put me to sleep. Ambien seems to (sometimes) help me sleep more soundly, but the effects might just be coinciding with cumulative exhaustion.

Ugh

Fun fact: My alarm just went off. I caught up on the 30 emails from overnight and wrote all of the above (including a small bit of editing as I went) and my 8 a.m. alarm just went off.

I pray I can come away with some type of med today. The PCP is pretty no-nonsense, so I think he’ll be willing to help. Still, it’s weird to say you have insomnia when you’re sleeping six to seven hours a night.

But I know logically — assuming I still have a grip on logic at this point in my exhaustion — it’s all relative. I was having trouble forming sentences yesterday. I kept using the wrong word or mispronouncing some to the point that they were just sounds.

The highlight was when Nadine asked if Tim was going out to get food and I responded almost unintelligibly. It’s a little fuzzy, but it was either “No, but do us want to tell him if you do?” or “No, but do want to tell you us if you do?”

I’m doing better with the typed word, but given that I answer emails for a living… Well, I’d better get this taken care of soon.

I’m off to take a shower and lie down. I an already tell that I won’t sleep, but I can at least rest for a bit.

Have you ever dealt with insomnia? How do you solve it, or do you just ride it out?

*Not my relatives. They’re awesome when they visit — and I’m not just saying because a few of them read the blog.

Comments

Agh, sorry you’re going through all this. Bravo for getting in touch with your doctor about it, though. Sleep problems are a life-ruiner, especially when coupled with depression/anxiety. My doc prescribed hydroxyzine, which is an allergy pill, but they use it off-label for non-habit-forming sleep. I’m too scared of actual prescription sleep aids, so it works just fine for me.Mrs. Picky Pincher recently posted…What A Frugal Weekend!

When I have insomnia, it’s usually middle of the night waking, not early morning waking. I ride it out, but do usually try to double down on sleep hygiene–keep a really regular going to bed/getting up schedule, no naps, no screens before bed, etc. And when I wake up in the middle of the night, I leave the bedroom and listen to a quiet podcast in the dark. Usually that’s enough to get me back to sleep. On the couch, but still.

But for me, insomnia isn’t a symptom of depression, and I think it could be one with you. It’s possible that adjusting any mood regulating medication you’re on might help, too.

I really hope your doctor is able to provide some medications to help today. I recently discovered the podcast Sleep with Me and find that a dark room, sleep mask and the podcast playing at a low level really helps me nod off. I even try it when I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t fall back asleep. I don’t have the same health challenges as you but I really sympathize. I get goofy and confused when I get exhausted and my body aches all over. The older I get, the more important a full night of sleep is and just one bad night throws me off. I can only imagine how lousy you must be feeling 🙁

How old are you? You may be pre-menopausal, a sure cause of insomnia. It will get worse before it gets better (but it WILL get better, some day). You may just have to ride it out. Try adding soy products to your diet.

Consider:

* You may not need as much sleep as you’ve been conditioned to think you need. In fact, most adults do well on about 7 hours of sleep. Try not to obsess about the actual number of hours but instead focus on how you feel.

* You live in Arizona. It starts to get light around 5:30 at this time of year. Many people will awaken — just as birds, dogs, and cats awaken — at the first glimmer of dawn. Yes, even through the drapes. The solution is to go to bed earlier and plan to wake up earlier.

* Your sleep cycle shifts with age. Older people — and you understand, before technology changed our survival rates a human was old at 30 and elderly at 40 — tend to wake in the night. This served an evolutionary purpose back in the day: Elder adults who woke during the dark hours could watch over the encampment or the village and tend to restless children until younger, stronger adults awoke and handled the heavy lifting. You can make up for this by taking a short nap during the day.

* The blue light emitted by electronic devices and fluorescent bulbs interferes with your natural sleep cycle. Avoid using computers, cell phones, and televisions for two or three hours before bed-time. Consider changing the light-bulbs back to incandescents — you can still order them on-line even if you can’t get them at the Depot. You’d be surprised at how much difference this can make.

* If you’re forced to consider sleeping meds, most OTC antihistamines will put you to sleep. Benadryl and Chlor-Trimeton are especially effective that way. And they’re cheap. But it’s not a great idea to get dependent on them.Funny about Money recently posted…How Much Is Your Privacy Worth?

I have anxiety, so I’ve always been really bad at sleeping. I used to rely pretty heavily on either Tylenol PM or Benadryl. I can’t take either of those right now, so I’m back to relying on my Calm app on my phone. I am the world’s worst meditator, deep breather, mind clearer, but it really does help. Not being able to sleep is the worst. I’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling with this.

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