My depression has been on-going since last year in June. I moved to London with my Dad a year a half ago and ever since I have become very anxious and...

Question

I moved to London with my dad 2 yesrs ago and ever since I have become very anxious and feel very low all the time.

Although I have always been a nervous person, I grew up with my mum and my life was happy. I had plenty of friends at school and college.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

I now feel lonely but also like I don't want to socialise through fear of looking stupid in public. I can't seem to find anything funny.

When I first started my new job some months ago I felt extremely happy and I was doing very well.

Now I feel that I am not doing so well and I keep getting paranoid that people don't like me and people are talking about as a result of my change in behaviour.

I've tried looking at the bright side of life but these thoughts repeatedly become thoughts of despair and anxiety.

I have sought advice from my GP. I had a blood test and I have slightly under active thyroid glands. But I'm not sure if this is the only problem.

I can't seem to concentrate on one thing and I become confused very quickly. Tasks that I used to find simple have become complex and incomprehensible.

I have no desire to do anything. I have tried going out with friends from work to get out of the house and I often go to see my sister in Milton Keynes but each time I find I can't speak and feel like I'm puppet which needs to be propped up, like some kind of zombie.

I feel like I can't achieve anything.

The only place I can escape these feelings is when I sleep.

Please help.

Answer

David writes:

From a purely medical point of view, it seems to me that you are probably badly depressed.

If I'm right – and you do have a depressive illness – I don't quite understand why you aren't on antidepressant medication.

This certainly wouldn't be the answer to all your psychological problems. But it might well lift your mood and help you to cope better.

Please ask your GP about this, and see if he or she agrees.

Christine writes:

I do agree with David that you have a problem with depression.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

If you just felt lousy at being in London, then your mood would lift as soon as you got out and went visiting your friends and family in Milton Keynes.

It doesn't though, does it?

So I do think that antidepressants should be part of the answer and that when your mood lifts a bit, life won't hold such terrors for you. Please do go back to your GP and discuss this.

When your mood improves, you'll find you can start looking at different ways to improve things.

Lots of people love London. But plenty don't. If you don't, then ask yourself whether you're better where you are, or whether you should go and live with your sister or friends back in Milton Keynes.

The best place to get this initially would be through the umbrella organisation Youth Access. They have counselling drop-in centres throughout the UK and I'm sure they'll try and help you if you call their central number.

If you stay in London, you should make a real effort to make more friends. There are masses of single people in London and there is every sort of club and organisation there that you can imagine, so try to find something to do that you would really like to pursue and join something that will enable you to do so.

That way you'll make friends with like-minded people. For example, if you've always wanted to learn French, you could sign-up for a French evening class and you'd immediately find yourself in a different circle of acquaintances – some of whom will probably become friends.

Keep looking in the paper for ideas of things to do, or listen to a London local radio station like LBC or Capital. You can also get details of classes and organisations from your local Public Library.

You might also enquire at the library about self-assertiveness classes, as I'm sure you'd benefit from doing one of those.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

By the way, I doubt very much if the people you work with think you're odd. They're probably far too busy worrying about their own lives.

But you could improve things there by really trying to start conversations with half a dozen different people at work every day.

Depression is very isolating, but you can help yourself by deliberately tackling little tasks like that on a daily basis.

Day to day

It's also a good idea to set yourself the task of 'noticing' five happy moments a day.

Even in the midst of depression we can train ourselves to notice a bird singing, or a toddler splashing happily in a puddle, or the smell of newly cut grass in the park.

You've been having a miserable time, but I'm sure it can get better. I wish you the very best of luck in sorting things.

NetDoctor, part of the Hearst UK wellbeing network
Netdoctor participates in various affiliate marketing programs, which means we may get paid commissions on editorially chosen products purchased through our links to retailer sites.