Here it is, another Wednesday night
at Indigo’s. We girls are listening to some of the musical
regulars when Marie Claire asks, suddenly, “Why is it that
when you finally meet someone you like, there is always something?”

“What do you mean ‘something’?”asks
Emmanuella.

“
Like, he was hurt once, and now he just wants an ‘open
relationship’.”

“
Sounds like this is more than a hypothetical,” says Barbarella. “What
happened?”

“
A cheating ex hurt him, and now he doesn’t want to be in
a serious relationship, because he’s afraid that he will
get hurt again. Which isn’t good for me, because I don’t
want to share him. Why is it so hard for him to just be with
one person? Why is he afraid? Doesn’t he know that I wouldn’t
hurt him?”

“
Sounds like he has some issues,”Barbarella says.

“
What is an ‘open relationship’?” Marie Claire
continues. “I mean ,OK, I’m told that it’s
when you are dating multiple people, not just one person. But
seriously, does this really work? Or are you just being played
for a fool?”

“
I wouldn’t say you’re being played,” says Emmanuella. “People
just need to get to know each other before they commit. I think
it’s healthy to take time to decide if someone is worth
a commitment.”

“
I don’t know that I believe that,” says Marie Claire. “Okay,
think about it this way. There is this couple, Rob and Jenny,
who have just begun dating. It hasn’t turned serious, but
both have admitted to really liking one another. Rob wants this “openness” and
Jenny doesn’t. Suppose, actually, she doesn’t really
know what she wants. It’s a hectic time, and she just wants
stability and someone to buy her flowers, and well, she just
wants to be with someone. With his and her jobs, it’s hard
for them to get together. Yet they always find a way and hang
out and have fun, and still he doesn’t want to commit,
and he feels the need to tell her this, so, he says, that she
can date other guys.”

“
But imagine what’s going on in her mind: What if he is
dating other girls?” asks Marie Claire.
“
That’s also an instant ‘not guilty’,” says
Barbarella.

“
It gets even stranger because she goes out one night and ends
up making out with a guy with the bluest eyes. Adam. They hit
it off. They don’t go home together, but they exchange
numbers. “She feels guilty,” Marie Claire continues. “Did
she cheat on Rob? He did say they had an open relationship.”

“
So no fault there. Good for her!” says Emmanuella.

“ But still, she feels she wants to be with just Rob.”

“
Seriously, Marie Claire,” Barbarella says, “what’s
the use of sticking with one banana when there are plenty more
in the jungle? If you want to commit and he doesn’t, you
should tell him. If he can’t, then dump the guy!

“
Easier said than done. I mean, I like this guy. I can’t
see myself not being with him, and at the same time I don’t
want to feel like this,” Marie Claire complains.

“
So you are just going to wait for table scraps?” says Emmanuella. “No,
no, don’t roll over. You obviously know what you want—a
relationship. If you have spent enough time with him to be
sure, then you should tell him.”

“
Yes, if he can’t give you a relationship, then you should
dump him. He’s not worth treats,” says Barbarella.

“
Don’t be afraid of what you want,” says Emmanuella. “It’s
hard to take that stand. It is so risky, but isn’t that
what life is all about?”