Luckily, we haven't had any trouble coming out. We did it slowly, and now our kid, friends, and my colleagues and parents know. Even our parents who are conservative didn't give us much hassle. I would admit though. If we were "three" and wanted to attend family events, this would be much much harder. We define ourselves as an "open marriage" which means (to us) we are still married, but date other people. And we actually haven't gotten any slack. I guess we're lucky.

I don't really know about hard-wiring. I know many poly people liken it to being gay. It would be terrible for me to negate anyone's experience, so I am sure that is true. However, many people I talk to feel merely that theirs just can't be met by one person. If they are liberal; they might open up. If they are nnot, they seem to cheat and/or remain unhappy or divorce. I've experienced very few people who seemed "natually monogamous" i.e. in love and happy fucking only one person for 30 plus years.