UCB Parents Advice about Teenagers

Teen Behavior & Accountability

Regarding recent public notice and debate of teen behaviors at Willard
and BHS involving rape and arson, I would like to point out that there
appears to me to be an attitude of apparent despair on the part of many
adults in position of authority to teen uncivil and unlawful behavior.
Various reactions I've observed over the last year point toward an
attitude of profound pessimism an neglect.

Last year our car was stolen by two BHS girls, apparently for a joy
ride, since nothing valuable was taken from the car. The way we know
about this was that a day later the girls were stopped due to an off
duty highway patrol officer noticing their erratic driving. (They
trashed the transmission and put an estimated $2,000 worth of damage in
the rear end of the car). He discovered that the car was stolen while
checking their id's. They were caught red handed. We were called and
collected the trashed car. The result? We were unable to collect any
damages. There was no insurance coverage for the drivers, and no
parental involvement. When the case was brought to the local courts it
was thrown out FOR LACK OF EVIDENCE. We could not even get from the
local police the identities of the juveniles in order to try and have
our insurance make collection. The lesson to the children involved in
this incident, and probably their friends who knew of it, was HEY COOL.

Our guess is, in this instance, the authorities knew the family of these
girls had no ability to financially rectify the situation. Even if
there was a financial judgment the money could not be collected.
However what seems to be missing in this equation is that financial
fairness does not represent civil fairness and civil responsibility.
Not all transactions (even legal ones) are issues of money. How is it
that the adults in position of legal responsibility can turn a jaundiced
eye, can dismiss the behavior, sweep it under the carpet? It certainly
was not an action that benefited (educated and nurtured) the teens
involved.

For every incident that gets reported to the public you KNOW there are
many that are not. This was one of the un-reported incidents but it
represents an example of the problem.

Where was the sense of civic duty to educate the girls involved? A
lesson in "getting by" is a lesson far more costly to society than the
$2000 in damages we paid to restore the car. How is it our local
judicial system deliver this kind of judgment? Why couldn't the girls
have been given a requirement of social service to work off their
actions? This, in essence, was a profound statement of LACK of caring
to these teenagers which said "We don't care what you do." OR "We are
too busy, or to pessimistic to deliver any consequence to your action."

When situations that involve illegal and violent activity by teens are
covered up, silenced, shrugged off, left unreported, unchallenged, and
unpunished (and by that I mean responsible and fair discipline), the
message, fundamentally is, we do not care. It is not protection of
juveniles to hide the facts. Yes, their identities should be protected
and yes, they should be allowed a chance to make amends without a
criminal record. But no action or slow action and no consequence is
not protection of juveniles. This represents a disorder in the adult
mindset. Our teenagers need a clear message that they ARE part of civil
society, we do care enough to follow up, and they do have to bear the
responsibilities connected with their actions in the world.

Your letter is insightful and struck an important chord. Research done at
UC Santa Barbara in New Zealand and Australia with perpetrators and victims
shows that face to face meetings in such cases with a trained court social
worker or police facilitator to discuss apologies, hear everyone's side of
the story, and arrange reparations (often not monetary, but community
service as you suggest) serves often to turn the life around of teens and
others who are taking big risks while harming others in the community. It
provides for community building, taking responsibility and healing for both
sides when done right----the professor whose work on this is published is
Tom Scheff, UCSB.

A wonderful resource person at the Berkeley Police Dept, if he has not
retired, is the juvenile bureau counselor who meets with teens and parents
when the police SEND the teens to him----he is a thoughtful and helpful
counselor in these situations and makes demands of the teens ( write a
serious essay about your actions, and what you plan to do with your
life....) as well as advising them of the legal consequences of continuing
down the troubled path---
I am wondering why this type of intervention was not used with these
girls?? you might call and speak to him---the BPD can give you his
name. He is retired from the Berkeley schools, I believe----
good luck.
Anon.

The opinions and statements expressed on this page
are those of parents who belong to the
UC Berkeley Parents Network and
should not be taken as a position of or endorsement by the
University of California, Berkeley.