November 2009

11/19/2009

Today my son sent me a text message asking how I was...this turned into several text messages and then a follow up phone call. I love my son so much it hurts sometimes. As a newborn I could not look at him enough, talk to him, touch his new skin or look into his huge hazel eyes. Although, he is now a man at 31 years of age. I am amazed at how my son has changed, but yet I still see that little baby that I held so long ago in my arms. He says he's a mama's boy, but he says it proudly, he is not ashamed that he adores his mother and that we can tease each other and get angry and say what is on our minds and speak truthfully and still hug each other and whisper in each others ear...I love you mama. I love you son!

We were both laughing so hard during our conversation that my husband came downstairs and said, hey, what's so funny and I said, I'm talking to the baby. Even though my son is the oldest, I have a daughter too, but he is and will always be considered the baby. He was the first grandchild, great-grandchild and nephew to my five brothers and we all call him the baby. I know I've damaged him for life, but he's such a sweetheart you can't help, but love him. My next story will be about my precious baby girl.

11/17/2009

This is my favorite time of year. Thanksgiving has got to be my all-time favorite holiday. There is not the stress of next months, gift buying, the pressure of "how much" to spend on so and so, even if you don't have the funds you are still pressured to go into debt. I think we've forgotten what the season is all about. Family, friends, good food and laughter. Making memories. That sweater you stressed about is going to be out of season next...season! I have to admit I fall into this trap as well, but since losing my job due to layoff last August, my budget does not allow me to splurge like I used to and that's okay. This has forced me to be truly creative and think of each individual and their likes. I will be making more edible gifts. My per person budget is $20.00 this year and so far I am having fun finding that perfect gift. A magazine subscription that will last a whole year. That person will think of me every month. That iTunes gift card that will allow my niece to purchase 20 of her favorite songs. That movie ticket package for my brother who loves going to the movies, or that delicious box of See's candies that my mom adores. She eats just one a day, but what pleasure she has trying to decide which jewel to enjoy. Yes, being laid off was devastating to me, to my ego, to my finances, but I've learned over this past year that I really don't miss buying those $300 purses when I continually used my favorite over and over, or having so many pairs of shoes that I didn't even know that I had 10 pairs of black pumps. Shameful. We have so much and we don't even realize it. I've learned to live without eating out several times a week, making those impulse buys out of boredom or just blowing money because I knew I would have another check next week.

If and when I find another job I know that things will be different. My outlook is different, the way I budget my money, the way I save and the way I will consider...Do I really need that Starbucks that costs $3.50 each day or can I put away that amount each week $24.50 or almost $100 each month and at the end of the year I will have almost $1200 in my Christmas slush fund. I'm not saying that I won't ever buy or treat myself to the occasional specialty drink, but before I do I will ask myself, can I make myself a thermos at home or brew a cup and enjoy it outside in the fresh air and relax a few minutes before I begin my day or will my new found "good feeling" of knowing that I am saving for something great and lasting like a vacation or just my own satisfaction knowing that I have a "rainy day" fund save me from reaching into my handbag? This is the true test of self control. How often will that impulse buy win. I find myself shopping and putting things in my cart and walking around the shop for a while and by the time I leave I have found that I have put everything back. Maybe losing my job was a blessing in disguise. My husband and I spend more time together. We enjoy meals at home and I've caught up with my reading and just love blogging. My home is cleaner and I've been able to take time to visit friends and family that I never had the chance to before. I write letters more often and really see how beautiful each day is and find so many things to keep me busy. How in the world did I ever get everything done before while I was working full-time. There are some things I truly miss, like my housekeepers. The friends you make at work, the challenge of a task. Living with one salary has been a challenge, but I wouldn't trade this experience for the world!

11/16/2009

The color red, it makes me warm all over. My eye seeks it out and my closet shouts that its my favorite color. I love a Red Lip, so glamorous! You can put a little mascara and red lips and run out the door. My favorite pair of shoes are Ruby Red Platform Mary Jane's. I will have these forever, they strap around the ankle and make me feel so magical. I feel like I can do anything when I am wearing these shoes! Silly really, but I smile when I see them and have received so many compliments from women and men alike. Little girls love my ruby reds. I never realized how much red I had until I began taking photos of things around my house. My goodness, I have a red sofa. I am surrounded by red. I have a very dear friend who feels the same way about the color yellow. I am confident when I wear red, so bold. I face the day and am ready for whatever might come my way. I stand with my hands on my hips, a slight smile on my face like I'm keeping a secret. I think I became bold out of necessity. I have five brothers, all younger than I, but it was a battle each day to keep the high ground. I was such a tom-boy back then, but now as I've become an adult, I am not so brave as back then, not as daring, scared of spiders and the dark and as my brothers say, what happened to you? You are such a girly-girl now! Well, that's okay. I love who I have become and who is ever changing like a butterfly from a cocoon, tomorrow I might try something new.

I am a collector of odds and ends, beautiful things, books, papers, pens, colored pencils, glitter sticks and stickers. I need all these things to write beautiful letters and notes. I need all of these things for inspiration. A teal blue ceramic koi fish sits on my desk next to a red glitter dragonfly and next to that is a silver skeleton key and a candle. A delicate china cup with roses and rimmed with gold is filled with glass beaded cherries. A strawberry sits in a tray and inside of that strawberry lays hidden an even smaller strawberry, a treasure waiting to be found. A tiny cupcake candle, a reminder of my last birthday and a small tray holds colored stickpins and pink and red paperclips. My craft room, reading room is my sanctuary. It is red and I have a pink wing chair sitting in the corner next to the window for reading. A giant Piglet is sitting in my seat holding my spot ready for tomorrow as I curl up with a handmade blanket. I can't wait for tomorrow morning to have my coffee and read the news, gather my thoughts and plan my day. I will grab my camera at first light to catch the shadows and the sunrise. I can't wait to see what my camera captures.