PatM - Hollywood Event (WC 859)

http://pandemo.livejournal.com/666326.html

INT. HOLLYWOOD EVENT - LOBBY - EVENING

JEREMIAH has OBIE dressed to the nines, with a plunging neckline he let her cover with a sedate scarf, harem pants and slippers. As they enter the lobby, he deftly plucks her scarf and tied it dashingly around his neck. Too well bred to make a scene in public, Obie tries to hide slightly behind him, prompting him to drape an arm across her shoulders and tuck her tightly to his side.

INT. HOLLYWOOD BANQUET - MAIN HALL - DINNERTIME

Spotting HARRY and ROBBIE in front of the double doors leading to an exclusive private conference room, Jeremiah steers them in that direction.

Harry has assembled a likely group of producers he can work with, and regaled them with Obie stories. Instead of the frumpy Iowa horse farm persona they'd been led to expect, they ogle her half-hidden, but well-shaped, muscular legs and her cleavage, which is quite abundantly on display.

ROBBIE

How'd you manage that, big boy?

Meeting his eye, JEREMIAH flips the tips of his scarf, smiling broadly.

ROBBIE

That color sure sets off your date's eyes, Jolly Green. Good choice.

HARRY

Kudos to you, Ho-Ho Man. You cleaned her up VERRRRA WELL. You might even qualify as a bona fide miracle worker. Are her pitches as polished?

JEREMIAH

She's a verbal quick study artist. She's been teaching ME tricks.

INT. HOLLYWOOD BANQUET - SIDE ROOM - DINNERTIME

HARRY

Bring her right in. She can start with this group, all of whom I've worked with before. They are great guys and can smell a hit a thousand miles away.

ROBBIE

Remember her stage fright? Why don't I engage her in conversation over dinner with you two, and have the sound man mike us and play it for the room?

HARRY

(adopts a British accent.)

Capital, what? Good thinking, Old Man.

ROBBIE

We're seated right over here, Jeremiah. Please join us. We want to help Obie polish her presentations a bit, if she won't rebel.

JEREMIAH

She's been most respectful. I'm sure she'll be receptive. Her ego does not seem to be antagonistic.

Dinner is served. It is definitely not vegetarian. Watching the total minuscule amount Jeremiah eats carefully, Obie summons one of the minions lining the walls of the room.

OBIE

(whispers)

I need a package of sandwich sliced cooked ham packed in water, an 8 oz. package of Philadelphia Cream Cheese, and a jar of Vlasic pickles. Oh, some toothpicks. Wait. I'll get you some money.

FUNCTIONARY

Not necessary. Consider it done. This is a catered affair. They'd rather be caught au flagrante delicti with their best friend's spouse than not be able to meet a guest's needs smoothly.

The FUNCTIONARY smuggles a brown paper bag to Obie, drawing all eyes. She opens it under the table, removes the ham, pulls the zip open top, and lifts two slices onto her empty salad plate. Diving back into the sack, she removes the pickles, struggles briefly with the lid, then passes them to Jeremiah.

OBIE

(whispers)

I can't get these open. Can you help me?

Carefully holding the jar away from people's clothes, he removes the plastic top and easily opens the jar. Leaving the jar lid on, but wobbly, he passes it upright to Obie.

JEREMIAH

(whispers)

There you go. What on earth are you doing?

OBIE

(whispers)

Fixing you something to eat.

Jeremiah's expressive eyebrows shoot up into his hairline. He blushes as he meets Robbie's eyes.

OBIE/ul>
(whispers)

Don't look at me like that! I know good and well you're a closet carnivore!

Obie slices the cream cheese into even slices, then carefully places a slice and a half on top of the ham, stretching from side to side of the width of the slice. Removing a pickle, she positions it on top, then rolls the ham, holding it with a toothpick at each end. She cuts the roll into finger width slices, then passes the plate to Jeremiah and Harry, both of whom greedily eat slices until the plate is empty.

The pâtés and fancy postprandial H'ors doeurves are passed on, but Obie's concoction keeps circling in an ever-widening sphere of influence. As she works, new packages and jars appearing magically as needed, she chats with Harry and Jeremiah about her four books and one partial script, blissfully unaware of her unintended audience.

ROBBIE consults with two of the top producers, who have been avidly listening to every word of OBIE’s presentation, tendering ROBBIE a tentative offer for the entire package if he will join them.