The Media’s Six Simple Rules for Criticizing Children of Politicians

The media has six hard and fast rules that dictate how the children of politicians should be handled.

Anyone confused by the media’s standards on this issue simply haven’t been paying attention.

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1. Any unknown Republican staffer who says anything critical about a Democrat’s child will become the top story for at least a day. Vilification will be non-stop. Even after she apologizes and loses her job, she will remain the top story for another half day as the media piles on and proves it vetted her more than they ever did Barack Obama or ObamaCare.

2. Aging conspiracy theorists who fabricate conspiracies to question the parentage of a Down Syndrome child whose mother put Barack Obama behind in the polls until the economy crashed, will be treated as one of the media’s elder statesman and enjoy the imprimatur of regular appearances on network Sunday morning news shows and cable network roundtable discussions.

3. Any adult child of any Democrat involved in a drug or alcohol scandal will have that story told with sober seriousness. The story will be told dutifully and without a hint of exploitation. No narratives about bigger issues will come out of that story. The story will last for no more than 12 hours.