Nov 12, 2006

After being sentenced to die and ranting about this and that injustice, a somber Saddam Hussein seeks only brotherly love . "I call on all Iraqis,Arabs and Kurds to forgive,reconcile and shake hands," he tells a court.

In other words:

Please don't kill me. I'm not that bad I made a few mistakes--okay , a few thousand mistakes. My apologies to all the widows. Give me anotyher chance. I don't even have to be a dictador, I could be a deputy or a minister or a street sweeper. I'll be the best street sweeper you ever sew. I want a do-over!

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The aircraft carrier Intrepid is suposed to be towed to a drydock for repairs, and Sen. Hillary Clinton is there to give it a merry sendoff."The Intrepid stands for everithing we believe in ...our freedom and our values," she tell the cowd of dignitaries and potencial voters, before watching the ship stop after only 15 feet, stuck fast in the Hudson River mud.

In other words:

The Intrepid is as American as promises from everybody from the president on down who swore to me (crossed their hearts and hope to die) this thing would work and I wouldn't look like a horse's backside in front of all these cameras.Really great,guys! Thanks for stabbing me in the back.stupid boat!