What 'doctors' of the soul grasp far better than most mental health professionals

By
Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski

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As was noted previously, a major distinguishing feature between humans and animals is
that animals are created in a state of completion, and their growth is essentially
in size and strength. Their maturation follows a life cycle which is instilled
within them, and any changes which may occur are the result of their genetic
composition. Animals are unable, by volition, to make any material changes in
themselves.

Man has the capacity to make changes in himself. He is not an unalterable
product of his genetic makeup. There is little doubt that some people harbor
inborn character traits and that there is a variation in peoples' innate emotional
and intellectual endowment. However, in contrast to animals, man is not helpless
insofar as his character is concerned, and he can make salutary changes in
himself, even radical changes.

The fact that a person has the capacity to make changes in his character is
not sufficiently appreciated by some psychologists, who tend to attribute a
person's problems to factors beyond one's control.

It is common practice, for example, to take
a detailed history from a patient, particularly about the various circumstances of
his upbringing, which is certainly a necessity in getting to understand a person.
However, when faults are discovered in the parents' handling of the patient in
early life, the blame for the patient's current problems is often laid at the feet
of the parents.

While the effects of parenting on one's emotional development
cannot be minimized, this approach too often results in a "pity-party," with the
patient bewailing the unfairness of his lot in life and essentially resigning himself
to dysfunction rather than trying to improve things.

Not infrequently, a patient
may remain fixated at this level and not take the necessary steps to improve
himself. It is much easier to assign blame rather than to change oneself.

A much more constructive approach has been adopted by more modern schools
of psychology, which can be summarized as, "Even if you are what your parents
made you, if you stay that way it's your own fault." This approach does not deny
the importance of early life experiences, but instead of emphasizing their role
in the patient's current problems, urges him to make the necessary changes
that will remedy them.

The human character is not cast in stone, and is not an
unalterable product of genetic composition and/or early life experiences.
The Hebrew-language work Tiferes Yisrael (Kiddushin 4:14 §77) cites a Midrash which relates that a king
had heard of the greatness of Moses, and was curious to know more about
him. He therefore dispatched his artists to the Israelite encampment to draw a
picture of Moses. Upon their return he gave the portrait to his physiognomists,
who were able to determine a person's character by studying his facial features.

The physiognomists submitted their analysis: This person was vain, arrogant,
greedy, indolent, irascible, and lustful. The king reprimanded his artists for their
incompetence in properly depicting Moses, since there could not be so great
a discrepancy between the analysis of his wise men and the accounts he had
received of Moses' stellar personality. When the artists swore that their drawing
was accurate, the king decided to see for himself.

Upon meeting Moses, the king saw that the artists had not omitted even a
single hair. Knowing the reliability of his wise men, the king was perplexed, and
confronted Moses with his problem. Moses explained, "Your physiognomists
were not mistaken. You see, all that they can deduce from a person's facial
features are his inborn traits, and indeed, I was born with all the contemptible
character traits they described. However, I worked to transform them and to
become the person that I felt I should be."

This Midrash says it all. We can be whatever we wish to be. Of course, a person
who is tone deaf cannot become a cantor, and there are some talents which
one either has or does not have, but insofar as middos (character traits) are
concerned, we have the ability to mold ourselves into whatever we wish to be.
The human being thus has the capacity to improve himself.

But what do we mean by improvement? What are the standards and measures of
"better"?

STIMULATION AND INSPIRATION

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We cannot talk about gradations of good unless we know an item's function.
Thus, we can say that one automobile is better than another, because the better
one can provide faster, more comfortable, and more reliable transportation. It is
meaningless, however, to say that an automobile is an improvement on a clock,
since their functions are so diverse.

The finest automobile cannot tell you what
time it is, nor can the finest timepiece transport you to where you wish to be.
Self-improvement presupposes that we know what the function of a person is.
If his function is dependent on his physical prowess, then self-improvement
will consist of increasing his muscular strength.

If his function is to amass great
wealth, then he will see self-improvement as consisting of acquiring the business
knowledge and cunning that will enable him to make a great deal of money. It is
evident that implementing the capacity of self-improvement is dependent on what
one accepts as one's goal in life, in which case the desired changes are those
that will enhance one's reaching that goal. Having established that according to
all concepts, the ultimate goal of a Jew is achieved via performance of mitzvos (religious duties), self-improvement will consist of those changes that will enhance performance of mitzvos.

The Torah states that the Israelites received the manna prior to the giving of
the Torah at Sinai. One of the commentaries explains that the miracle of the
manna was that each person could gather only as much as he actually needed.
If someone collected more than his needs, the excess would rot. If he collected
less, the measure would fill on its own.

This was to teach them that G-d will
provide everyone with the proper amount for his well-being, and that trying to
get more than one's due is futile. Only after this principle was established could
the Israelites receive the Torah, which prohibits any unjust acquisition of another
person's property. Without this basic emunah (belief and trust in G-d), they could
not have been expected to obey the commandments against stealing, swearing
falsely, taking usury, coveting others' belongings, and all the other religious duties relating to property rights.

The trait of emunah is thus essential for observance of all the mitzvos that
involve commerce and property rights. This is equally true of other traits which
are conducive to proper performance of mitzvos. Self-improvement therefore
consists of developing and perfecting these traits, and eliminating those traits
that impede proper performance of mitzvos.

'VALUES' OF CONVENIENCE

We are fortunate in having a rich repository of Torah literature on the cultivation
of proper middos. Foremost among these are Pirkei Avos (Ethics of the Fathers),
Mesillas Yesharim (Path of the Just), and Orchos Tzaddikim (Ways of the
Righteous). These are all available in English. There are also a number of
excellent books by contemporary Torah scholars, some of which have been
translated into English, such as Michtav MeEliyahu (Strive for Truth).

It is important to be aware that Torah values differ greatly from secular values.
We should also know that there is no way to totally escape the impact of the
values that prevail in the environment in which we live, and that inasmuch
as these often conflict with Torah values, we must be on our guard not to be
influenced by them.

For example, the prevailing cultural concept is that wealth consists of having a
great deal of money, and furthermore, that wealth is acquired by diligence and
effort at making money.

If the average person were asked whom he considers as
wealthy, he would undoubtedly name several billionaires, and if asked how they
managed to become wealthy, he would respond that they were innovative, had
a thorough understanding of economics, were shrewd in business dealings, etc.
Torah teaches that the truly wealthy person is one who is content with whatever
he has (Ethics of the Fathers 4:1).

Hence a person who barely has enough to
survive but is happy with his lot is in fact wealthier than the billionaire who tries to
amass more riches and lives in anxiety that an unexpected turn of events might
topple him from his lofty position.

Furthermore, the Torah warns against thinking
that a person becomes wealthy as a result of his own efforts. Many people may
try the same thing, yet only one becomes wealthy. This is because a person's
fortune is decreed by G-d, and while it is necessary that a person do something
to earn a livelihood, it is the Divine blessing that will enrich him (Deuteronomy
8:11-18).

Just as wealth is defined differently by Torah than by the culture, so are other
values, such as wisdom, honor, power, etc. (Ethics of the Fathers 4:1). The
Torah values are those that are conducive to the performance of mitzvos,
whereas secular values are often antagonistic thereto.

We must also bear in mind that secular values are often determined by the same
standards we apply to economics; i.e., success or failure, profit or loss. While the
latter are appropriate in commerce, they have no place in morals or ethics.

An
ethical person is one who tries his utmost to do what is right, with honesty and
integrity, and if these efforts fail to produce the desired results, he is nevertheless
a good person. On the other hand, a person who violates the principles of
decency yet achieves great success is an unethical person.

Parents who do their
utmost to raise a child with love and good training are good parents even if their
child grows up to be a criminal, whereas parents who were self-indulgent and
grossly neglected their children are bad parents, even if their child grows up to
be a Nobel prize winner. Since we cannot control outcome, we must judge ethics
and morality by how and why we act, and not by how things turn out.

Finally, secular values are often determined by courts and legislatures, which
may establish laws that they feel to be expedient and beneficial to society.
This leaves the door wide open for adoption of even the most corrupt and evil
practices into law, as was so dramatically exemplified in the Holocaust, where
eliminating Jews was considered to be good for the state, hence a virtuous
act. According to Torah, morals and ethics are not subject to cultural desires.
Whatever constituted murder or immorality several thousand years ago continues
to remain an abomination even if the courts and legislatures rule otherwise.

As we will see, our judgments can be distorted by self-interest, and this is true
of society as a whole as well as the individual person. Self-interest may be
antagonistic to spirituality; hence true spiritual values are those revealed by
G-d in the Torah, and are absolute and immutable.

The standards for selfimprovement
necessary for spiritual development are the unalterable values
established by Torah.

Many of us can recall that as children we were often admonished, "Be a
mentsh," or "Act like a mentsh." Although we walked upright and verbalized words
and concepts, we were not yet a "mentsh." What was being asked of us is that we
develop those traits that are the hallmark of a human being, the spiritual traits that
elevate him above the level of Homo sapiens. Those who attended a cheder where
Torah was translated into Yiddish will recall that the translation of naaseh adam was "Let us make a mentsh." G-d did not merely wish to create "man." Rather, He
wished to create a mentsh, a spiritual human being.

As can be seen, we have thus far not included religion in the definition of spirituality,
hence we may refer to this as a definition of generic spirituality. We may now move
on to an analysis of Jewish spirituality, which is how a Jew should exercise his
uniquely human capacities.

Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski, M.D. is a psychiatrist and ordained rabbi. He is the
founder of the Gateway Rehabilitation Center in Pittsburgh, a leading center
for addiction treatment. An Associate Professor of Psychiatry at the University
of Pittsburgh School of Medicine, he is a prolific author, with dozens of books to
his credit, including, "Twerski on Spirituality", from which this was excerpted (Sales of this book help fund JWR).