Serious question about custody laws.

I live in Arizona and i'm getting worried about the father wanting custody when the baby gets here. He dosent want this baby and has tried to get me to miscarrage, told me he would be happy if the baby died even tried to offer me 10,000 to abort it, also he is suicidle now that im pregnant but i have no proff of any of this it was all said over the phone. I dont talk to him anymore and he has not once tried to be a part of it yet and has never asked about the baby or called me its always been me trying to work it out with him but i got sick of it. So now im scared becuase i dont want him a part of it at all but i do want him to pay child support, im not gonna let him get away just like that he owes us that much. But he has threatend that if i keep him away from the baby he will "make my life hell and fight tell he gets his kid". I need advice legally on what you exsperianced single moms think i should do?

Comments (37)

You are just going to have to do what you feel is right for you and this child. If you are truly concerned about the safety of your child and don't want him to have visitation, then don't go after him for CS. You CAN do it on your own. The gov offers assistance to help out. If you have to go without cable TV so you can buy food, do it. Cut out all UNNECESSARY things. Cable TV isn't a necessity. Neither is Steak when you can eat meatloaf.

Learn the laws in AZ. And definitely document everything, no face to face conversations, no phone calls... email or text only.

I'm an experienced single mother with tens of thousands paid in attorney's fees. I've been where you are and can only give you some tough love and say that 1.) the court doesn't give a shit about anything your baby's daddy said/did that wasnt illegal before your child was born. 2.) if you want child support, you are giving up time with your child, PERIOD.

My advice is move to a "mom-centered state," forget about his money, or BREASTFEED as loooong as possible to prevent extended stays with the father. Pick one and start planning. All the best to you, I KNOW how it sucks...but you can do it AND WITHOUT CHILD SUPPORT!!!

If you file for child support then he is going to get visitation unless he chooses not to bave visitation for some reason. In my state, even if he doesn't pay his CS he would still have visitation. My friend is going through that right now. It is also possible that he can file all the necessary paperwork to start visitation and CS. Unless you can prove that he is a danger to the child he will get visitation if he wants it.

Even if you leave him off the birth certificate depending on your state he can still petition the court for rights, which he may or may not do because by doing that he is basically volunteering to pay child support. I highly doubt that he would ever be able to get full custody or take the baby away from you but you should be open to the fact that he can probably get visitation if he wants. In the state I live in if the parent who owes support doesn't pay they can have their visitation revoked. Your best bet is to consult an attorney so you can learn how it works in your state and how to best handle this situation.

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Coco (RN)

Big Brother- 7/2010 **Little Sister** 5/2013

I'm having a coffee liqueur in a Chewbacca mug. I call it a 'sadtini.'

I've been through a lot of the "what ifs" with my lawyer. Even if you don't list him as father, he can still file to establish paternity. In my state, custody/visitation are completely separate issues. Even the county you live in can make a difference in deciding custody. I moved over an hour away to make sure he won't get half custody. If you really think he is a danger I would consider moving. Unless he has done something illegal, he will get some sort of visitation if he pushes for it.