Getting back into the swing means looking at more search results to see what ultimately lures people in my direction. So, a small sampling since it’s been a few weeks since I last did this:

how much should i pay for messing up a school library book

Depends on the mess. If it’s a torn page, tape fixes pretty much anything. If the cover fell off, glue might set things right. If you cut pictures out instead of paying for photocopying, then they just might make you (or your parents more likely) give money for a new one.

Which reminds me. A friend of mine had borrowed a cat encyclopedia recently and her cat must have been so annoyed over the possibility of being replaced with one of those models, she opted to barf on one of the pages as a special kind of cat protest. As this friend is a library worker, she knew the right thing to do was confess to the damage. And since the library is probably not willing to continue circulating a book admittedly barfed on (as opposed to the so many out there they unknowingly circulate), I suspect an arrangement was made to cover the cost of a replacement copy which will get ordered and delivered to the public eventually. In the past, people have had the option of buying a replacement copy themselves instead of giving cash but I don’t know if that’s still a policy.

Happy Newtonmas! Newton was also born December 25th. Happy Solstice is popular in some circles. Festivus is gaining favour. Saskatoon Freethinkers is having our second annual Festivus party this Sunday, actually. Some atheists are satisfied with Happy Holidays, as people often take holidays this time of year anyway and it’s quite generic. And some say nothing at all in the hopes they can avoid even secular references to what many people insist is some religious date of note.

It warms the cockles of my heart to see people still search for that 12 Days of Christmas parody song. “Five golden rings…of keilbasa!!.. four something something, three rubber boots, two somethings.. and a bowl of sour cream for me!” It was a small “hit” in the 1980s but I don’t know who by.

tom waits sound effects

The best place to hunt for that information is the Tom Waits Library, specifically the Other Instruments page. Anything he can find a use for he’ll use, from chairs to toy pianos to a shitload of instruments I’ve never heard of, and likely never heard before I heard his albums.

“knitted me a sweater” christmas poem

This is not it but I’m at a loss as to what Christmas poem this would be from. The only Christmas sweater thing I can think of is a short story made into a National Film board of Canada film called “The Sweater” by Roch Carrier.