A series of one shots centred around what happens to the students while they're studying at the College of Winterhold. Takes place over many years. Drunken nights, accidental spell casting, and wackiness and shenanigans aplenty.

A/N: inspired by the skyrim kink meme prompt where the OP requested the mages story line to be extended over several years. oh dear.

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CHAPTER ONE: ODD TASTES

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"Damn it!" A frustrated voice rings out from across the hall. Elanduir frowns as she looks up from her tome, craning her head out the edge of her doorway to see what the fuss was about. The final exams were only a week away, and she really couldn't afford any distractions.

"Brelyna, what is it?" The wood elf calls out. A fuming dumner stalks into view, hands clutched around a… Elandiur frowns. As to exactly what was in the other female's hands, she literally had no idea.

"Third attempt and still it goes wrong! I can't figure it out!" Brelyna practically shrieks, shoving the black thing towards the other woman's face. Elanduir recoils swiftly as a pungent smell reaches her nose, launching herself out of her chair and out into the larger expanse of the hall.

"Oh dear lord," she gagged, pinching her nose as Brelyna walks out of her room, still carrying the thing around. "How can you stand it?"

"Stand what?" Brelyna frowns, staring at Elanduir.

"That smell!"

"What smell?"

"I thought you dark elves were supposed to have good senses!"

"We do! And I can't smell a thing!"

"Are you sure you didn't damage your nose during one of your accidents?"

"Are you saying I'm a bad mage?"

"I'm not saying anything. I'm merely thinking back to that wonderful occasion where I spent ten minutes seeing nothing but green, then another ten minutes being different farm animals thanks to your spells!"

"What are you two arguing about now?" Onmund's form came into view as the young nord walks up to the two women. "We have our exams next week, shouldn't you both be studying?"

Elanduir frantically tries to wave him back as he walks up to Brelyna, but it was too late. Onmund freezes, the blood draining slowly from his face as he staggers backwards, dragging the edges of his hood around his face. He stares in horror at the thing in Brelyna's hands.

"What in oblivion is that?"

Brelyna scowls. "Well how should I know?"

"You're the one who made it!"

"Incorrect – I merely summoned it. As to what it's mean to be, I haven't a clue because it certainly isn't what I wanted."

"And what did you want?"

A pause.

"If you must know… I was trying to summon a sweet roll."

Another pause.

This time much, much longer.

"…What did you say?"

Brelyna shifted slightly this time, avoiding their gazes.

"A sweet roll, okay?" she scowls and places the black mass onto the edge of the stone wall that encircled the blue light vein. The other two mages swiftly backed away from the horror.

"I was hungry and we ran out of sweet rolls in the kitchens, and… I didn't want to have to walk down to the town to buy it. Oh come on!" she sniffs as the other two stare incredulously at her. "As if you wouldn't try to summon food if you're hungry."

"Well actually, we wouldn't," Elanduir says with a small grimace. "Didn't you read the Basics of Magic?"

The dark elf shifts uncomfortably in front of them. "Well, I was meaning to get around to it… but that's beside the point!"

"Well actually," Onmund says with a roll of his eyes, "If you had bothered, then you would know that summoning has rather detrimental effects on food and other living organisms. This is why no one ever summons a person."

Brelyna pauses, and looks back at the black thing that is currently sitting on the stone wall, almost radiating waves of stench which somehow the dark elf couldn't detect.

"So what you're saying is…"

"Yep. That's your sweet roll."

A long, long pause.

"Oh."

"That's it? Oh?"

"…Oops?"

"I still can't believe you can't smell it."

"I still don't see what you're talking about."

"What's going on here?" A voice purrs (literally).

"Oh god J'zargo, don't come any closer."

The Khajit stops at the doors, cocks his head to the left and gazes at them with a confused expression on his face. "And why not, may I ask?"

"Brelyna tried to summon food. And well…" Elanduir gestures helplessly at the mass sitting innocently on the wall. J'zargo frowns and inches closer tentatively, his whiskers and tail twitching as he sniffed.

Elanduir grimaces again. If her nose was good, she didn't want to even think about what J'zargo might be inhaling right now.

"What is it?" the Khajit asked curiously.

Funny. He sounds almost… hungry.

"Well, it was supposed to be a sweet roll, but as you can clearly see – "

Brelyna's voice trails off in shock as the Khajit picks up the mass and tears off a tiny section before popping it in his mouth.Elanduir recoils in horror against Onmund, who looks like he wants to throw up.

"Not bad," J'zargo says with a twitch of his tail as he pops another piece into his mouth.