Dear Heartbreaker

Updated on March 17, 2013

The fresh tear you just saw is only the beginning of a long and scary journey that I would have soon to take. I’ve kept a diary to fill in the memories and my everyday struggle to let go of the chains you’ve bind me so tight.

Here’s my journal for you to read, dear Heartbreaker, for you to know that what I’ve been through is real and it isn’t funny. And don’t even say you care because on what I see, you don’t. You’ve broken me again and again and ruined her life. Are you proud of yourself now?

I was once being owned by a happy and lively girl. She took good care of me and she always makes me smile.

My life was beautiful - not until someone came into the picture. She gave him all of me. At first, he's nice and made me happy but one day, he broke me into million pieces.

She made him her life and ignored the tears on her eyes every time he lied to her. I never saw the sunshine again.

My world became void and empty. I never saw her smile again as she used to.

She crept into the world of loneliness while silently crying and picking all the little fragments of me. She wanted me to be whole again but I'm already broken and no matter what kind of glue she’ll be using to turn me into what I used to be, I’ll not be perfect anymore for the cracks will always be there.

She loved him so much that she's willing to take every chance to be with him. I felt pity for her, she did nothing wrong and she deserves to be treated and loved the way she wanted. She deserves to be his only choice and not just an option.

But not all life stories have fairytale endings; and that’s what makes this life real.

When he said sorry for breaking her heart, I saw a glimpse of hope shining thru her eyes. She's happy; I can see that, though I can feel I'm breaking again for what had happened. But I tried to smile and be happy for her; for finding love again despite the pains.

I was so scared whenever doubt clouded the eyes of this lovely girl. I don't want to be broken again, it hurts so much... Well, hurt hurts.

Then one fateful day changed my life forever. He broke me again and I found myself lying hopelessly and dying on ground.

So maybe you wondered what she said or did after her "life" made me miserable. Did she fight for me? Did she hold on to me?

I would have wished if she did. But she gave me away, just like that, and worst, to him. And she's willing to live everyday; with me not being with her anymore. She kept the other broken pieces of me and I know that no matter how much she tried to glue it back again, there will always be "me" missing on the puzzle.

I said goodbye to the other pieces and not knowing what will be my future without them and her.

My new owner brought me to other place I never knew. He ignored me all the time, always in the run to find his true love but he never did. My being there on his life always remind him of my old owner, that someone's been waiting for him to let me go make her life complete again. But I guess, he's not ready yet to bring me back home.

He then found another heart to love and to break. It always begin with one endless tear.

I cried all day missing my old life - being happy and serene all the time, no pains, just always smiling. I wonder what my old owner is doing right now. Is she crying? Is she alone? Did she missed me too? Oh God, how I missed her pretty smile and laughs.

Time flew so fast that I've learned how to adapt to my new dark life. I couldn't define smile anymore, much more a laugh. I'm miserable and I wished that I'll go to heaven and never wanting to see anyone who will try to break me again.

Then, unexpectedly…

She came back for me. She's ready to take me away from this dark world where I am now. I know that she'd gone through a hard, rough time without me and so am I. But it doesn't matter anymore. She's here, I'm here and we're ready to become whole again.

She said sorry to me for giving me away to someone who doesn't deserve a piece like me. And you know what, she promised to take good care of me and love me always and no man will ever break me again.

I may be broken still and the glue is still fresh but I know that the time will come when those cracks will be hidden once more. I'm so happy that my life's been back to normal again.

I looked up and see her smile, the smile of a young brave girl who rescued me just in time I was about to die. I love her and I promise to be with her and to be strong always.

Comments 47 comments

Very Beautiful spy. Having a broken heart is painful because you can feel every pain when you breathe without anyone seeing it.

Voted up and shared.

Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

Voted up and awesome. Takes awhile to recover from a broken heart but once you're over it the best advice is to never look back.

treevas1 4 years ago

awesome

Blueumbrella 4 years ago

This is just amazing - First hub that I read to myself out loud. You can feel the real emotion behind the words. Voted up, awesome and beautiful

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Thank you so much for reading snowie :)

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Hi Gypsy! How are you? Thanks for the read. Yeah, it takes time..sometimes longer than "time" :)

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Thank much Treevas1 :)

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Hello BlueUmbrella, I'm feeling kinda sad and lonely today. But I really smiled when I read your message. I really appreciate this :)

Thank you, xoxo,M.

kashmir56 4 years ago from Massachusetts

Oh my dear friend you are so sweet and innocent inside,but please do not fear to love again because of pain it may cause your heart . Sometimes one has to kiss a lot of frogs in till she finds that one that will be her prince .

Vote up and more !!!

tobusiness 4 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

Broken hearts mends, and with your capacity to love, the best is yet to come.

When you own your pain it becomes part of you it helps to make you the incredible person you will grow into, scars and all.

Beautiful and emotive. Voting up

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

Hugs to the broken heart. I understand the pain, but time does heal the wound and we live and learn:)

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Hi Kashmir.. thank you for the nice words.. i did only loved one man in my whole life, the first and maybe he'll be the last..

Cyndi10 4 years ago from Georgia

Beautiful prose.

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Thank you tobusiness for all the votes! and for the message, the best is yet to come..i will be waiting for that day.

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Hi Ms Sunshine..hurts so bad especially when you learned you still miss him..after all those time.

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Thank you Cyndi!! :))

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Thanks Anam.. but did she know about your feelings for her?or your condition?

and thank you again for reading..

Esther Earl 4 years ago

great hub. Love it.

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Thank you for loving this piece :)

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

The pain is so very real and it takes a very long time to recover. What is left after the pain is a jaded view of love and that may be the greatest injury. Be well my friend and thank you for writing such a beautiful piece about pain and loss.

anam hasib 4 years ago from lucknow

we are together since last 2 years..now she has suddenly changed.all those promises and d way she used to look at me are lost..i still cant accept it but i guess i have to.

DragonflyTreasure 4 years ago from on the breeze.........

I think you've been with me during my 36 yr marriage...which is finally ending now....

You've caught everything I feel. Very touching and emotional.

algarveview 4 years ago from Algarve, Portugal

Very beatiful, sweet and sad... There are men like that, they don't deserve our heart, but there are also good men, that are worth a woman's love. I always believed there is a soul, a heart, a body for each of us, we just have to be in the same street at the same time to be able to find each other and melt into each other, then our hearts are as one... Your soulmate is out there...

writer20 4 years ago from Southern Nevada

Beautifully sad. I so sorry you're hurting your heart will mend and you will find love again. It took me 14 years to find a man that loves me as much as I love him.Joyce

kj force 4 years ago from Florida

The strangest thing about your hub is that a broken heart is more than naught...there are some who say they have never felt the pain, and I have found thru my years that this be true...but your heart will heal time and again if you do not forsake yourself...loved the hub..beautiful words...

Curiad 4 years ago from Lake Charles, LA.

I can say I know what you speak of Spy, I feel your pain and send you my thoughts and strength. It will pass and you will be whole!

Voted Up!

Mhatter99 4 years ago from San Francisco

sorry for us guys

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

I thank you all for reading and for your messages.

Billy,Anam,Dragonfly,Algarveview,Joyce,KJForce,Curiad,Mhatter.

As what algarview said, there are also men who are not heartbreakers. Heartbreakers only exist when we find ourselves loving a person who is not meant to be our soulmate. and we get our heart broken by them. We tend to expect so much from them and when the time comes they cannot live on our expectations,we get disapointed. But once we realized our true knight in shining armour, that broken heart will become whole again, with no traces of cracks. :)

@dragonfly treasure...we must be on the same trail :)

@Anam: tell me about it, I know and heard all experiences from my bestfriends (guys) like yours. Others still clinging on to the memories, while some let it go and move forward. It's very hard to move on and love another when you already build memories on that person. The only way to forget a love is to fall in love with another..some of my friends been in a relationship for 5 to 6 years and broke up..then they find another who must be their soulmate..

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

that's very nice of you..wish you all the best.

rahul0324 4 years ago from Gurgaon, India

A broken Heart... I know that,. I have one.. Every time you breathe you feel that slight tinge in your chest... Which makes you smile in pain... With every breath you remember a moment... and then you feel like embracing the pain of the nostalgia because there.. you are with the one person you wish to be

Spy!... Lovely

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Thanks Rah! wonderful comment. captured the essence on the hub :)

sofs 4 years ago

Beautifully expressed feelings of sadness and pain... I love the last picture 'congrats you lost me again'.. We have lessons in every meeting and so much to learn form every person.. this is how we evolve and grow.. and sometimes learning isn't very enjoyable. Thanks for sharing. Have a lovely day!

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Thank you much Sofs for commenting. Yeah, love that too..well, as you've said..that's life.and its real.

Jase 4 years ago

It seems your heart is badly broken by someone you love so much that even if it hurts you still cling on.I know it's very hard because I've experienced it too.

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Thank you Jase.. you're very kind :-)

xoxo.m.

James Lance 4 years ago

The story happened to me once. I did loved her but she thought love was just a game. She's beautiful, guys go crazy with her. But she chose me...she chose my heart to break, not into two but into a million pieces. But now, I've moved on. Im happy now with this girl who loves me and i love her.

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Hi James.. thank you for reading.

And I'm glad you've found happiness after someone broke your heart. Life must go on.

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

This is simply beautiful and amazing...bravo to you my friend...debbie

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Thank you so much Debbie..you may want to check my tribute Part 4. i hope you'll like my thank you note for you..

Amazing 4 years ago

I love this article. I love it!

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Thanks :)

Cracknutcase 4 years ago from India,bangalore

I truly hope this is not something u had to go through. But if it is, Just remember onething -You are A Princess of your own Kingdom and you deserve nothing less than a Prince who would treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

keep smiling always :)

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author

Thank you Hajira. Well, in the past..i think we all go thru heartbreaks once be enter the world of love. not all times its about happy smiles. Thank you so much for reading and for the kind words. We are all princesses who deserved to be happy with the right prince.

Maria Cecilia 4 years ago from Philippines

why do I always have this funny feeling that I can relate to the poems or stories that you have written and posted....even the way your write, made me realized what I have missing now as a writer...

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up. Author