Get Used To It

Today I started the first day of my new life. It’s just the prologue of this particular story, but I know it has begun. I would have expected that day to be when we found out we were having a baby, or perhaps the day we moved here back in November. But there was some things about today that just made it obvious that things have changed for me, for real.

The first and most obvious was that we had returned from vacation. It was probably the last vacation without a child, at least for a while. But it was also the way I felt myself responding to our return. The chores that we would have been split equally between my wife and I were now weighted more towards me.

That is because the math is different now. It is not 2 equals anymore. The situation is now one raised above the other two at all costs. That means both of us have to do a lot more. Just because that one cannot be seen yet does not mean that my wife is not working hard all the time. And that means I need to work harder, too, in the world outside her womb.

It also felt incredible to be working from home, for a company I truly love. That is not something that is completely possible right now, but it is the ultimate goal. To have a taste of it today crystallized its beauty. I need to find other good ways to generate income without going into an office.

Unpacked the bags, did the laundry, bought some groceries, cleaned the dishes, shit I usually hated doing suddenly became somehow more important. These chores need to get done now because we are going to have a baby soon. It was intuitive and obvious and an utterly different thought than I’ve ever had before. There was always later, before. Now there’s a date where later ends. I must be ready.