Script Snippet

Fellow Spawn (otherwise known as “sister dearest”): That bra doesn’t work with that shirt.

Deviant Spawn (myself): Be grateful I’m wearing one.

Fellow Spawn: Blah blah Evil Feminist blah

Thirty minutes later, Deviant Spawn has cunningly taken off her bra and is running around the mall braless

Deviant Spawn: …

Fellow Spawn: …

Deviant Spawn voice-over: Hah! And she didn’t even notice.

In other bra news my dad asked me if I was wearing a bra under a particular shirt. I was and I said so. He patted me on the head (the literal truth) and mumbled “that’s good.” Patriarchy cookies from the patriarch, how fitting.

I can’t wait to go to college. I’m going to donate my bras to someone who wants them and forget about their existence entirely.