Welcome to the 21st century, Megan Fox! The 26-year-old This is 40 star, new mom, and practically perfect person, has decided to join the hundreds of millions of normal folk on Twitter. Fox, who describes herself as a "Lover. Healer. Mother." on the social media site, already has over 54,000 followers(and counting) — and her account has only been active for 18 hours.
Fox's first official tweet acknowledged her Twitter tardiness, saying, "I'm incredibly late to the party but I'm here nonetheless, so what now?" but failed to give us any clues as to what Fox will be like as a tweeter.
Her second tweet, however, was more revealing. "Hello twitter. How is everyones day going? 7:30am and we've watched 'A Bugs Life' twice...so mine has been action packed as per usual."
Scintillating, Megan.
Hello twitter. How is everyones day going? 7:30am and we've watched 'A Bugs Life' twice...so mine has been action packed as per usual.— Megan Fox (@meganfox) January 4, 2013While the response to Fox's tweets have so far been overwhelmingly positive — her second tweet has 485 retweets, 411 favorites (and growing), and responses from followers such as, "Love youuuuuuu so much :)" and "please follow me you are my queen" — we're a little nervous. After only two tweets she's posting about her child-rearing and sleeping habits. Before things get too far gone, we've got some Twitter guidelines to help the new tweeter.
Do: Tweet photos. We all know the real reason why 59,000 (Jesus Christ the number keeps going up as I write this article) people are following Fox: They can't wait to see casual (dare we hope for bikini?) photos of the sexy starlet.
Don't: Post excessive photos of your baby. Fox's tweet about multiple watches of A Bug's Life have us concerned that her offspring will dominate her tweets. Please, Megan, keep your baby tweets to a minimum.
Do: Be self-deprecating. Fox's third tweet asks, "Is it cool or embarrassing to own a life size R2D2? It's cool right?...Right?!" along with a photo of said offending robot. We love that Fox can show a down-to-earth, even nerdy side of herself.
Don't: Be falsely modest. There's nothing worse than having gorgeous celebs tweet photos of "fat days" when they look skinnier than we'll ever be. Fishing for compliments is a major no-no.
Do: Tweet at your famous friends. There's nothing we love more than watching our favorite celebrities interact on Twitter. Fox starred in a movie with Paul Rudd; that means they're best friends now, right? Tweet it!
Don't: Stoop to Twitter feuds. Ugh. These are the worst. I don't think we have to explain why you should vow not to engage.
Do: Share details about your life. Girl, you famous. You do interesting things — like, go to awards shows, attend movie premieres, do photo shoots. We don't get to do those things, let us live vicariously through you.
Don't: Overshare your eating, sleeping, or exercise habits. This is boring, don't do it. And frankly, my dear, we don't give a damn how many carrot sticks you eat.
Do: Did we mention bikini photos? Kidding! Do show off your sense of humor. Fox proved to the world she was more than just a pretty face by showing her humorous side in Judd Apatow's This is 40. Keep it up, kid.
Don't: Retweet a zillion funny quotes. Remember this, Megan: Fans are following you because they want to hear from you. Don't go overboard with the retweets —especially ones of funny and inspirational quotes.
Follow Abbey Stone on Twitter @abbeystone
[Photo Credit: Fayes Vision/WENN]
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The Chicago star has handed cash to members of a trust to help them buy farmland believed to be the site of a lost palace once home to the last princes of Wales before the country was conquered by English King Edward I in the 13th century.
Members of the Garth Celyn Trust plan to erect a public monument to the princes on the land near Bangor, and they are pleased to have Zeta-Jones' support.
Trustee Paul Martin Remfry says, "The home of the Welsh princes of Wales has been ignored for far too long. The trustees are delighted that Catherine Zeta-Jones is taking a personal interest in the work of the trust. Her involvement will undoubtedly help to raise the profile of this Welsh project internationally.
"The historical and archaeological evidence is overwhelming and we want to ensure its guaranteed preservation for the benefit of present and future generations."

Paul Rudd is getting older — you can tell that just by the title of his latest movie, for goodness sakes! — but you'd never know it just by looking at him. While he is the star of Judd Apatow's This Is 40, and his actual birth certificate claims he is 43 years of age, Rudd doesn't look a day over 25. In fact, he looks exactly like he did when he was 25 (top left). Does he have a slowly decaying portrait hidden away in his attic?
Rudd isn't the only celebrity who has apparently discovered the secret to eternal youth. Launch our gallery to see the other lucky sons of bitches who never appear to get any older.
16 Stars Who Don't Age
Follow Abbey Stone on Twitter @abbeystone
[Photo Credit: BEImages; Wenn]
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Over the past seven years, we've spend a good amount of time on the sixth floor of the GE Building, seated in the TGS with Tracy Jordan writers room, watching the churning out of brilliant concepts like Tyke Myson: Baby Boxer, Wonder Woman Gets Her Period, and oh so many Fart Doctors. As we know, the television program that introduced us to such comedic wonder, 30 Rock, is coming to a close this season.
On Thursday morning, Kevin Brown (who plays the NBC sitcom's most well-read character, Walter "Dot Com" Slattery) tweeted the below image of the cast and crew banding together for one last set photo, in bittersweet celebration of 30 Rock's final wrap on shooting — as confirmed in a tweet by another of the show's supporting stars, Katrina Bowden (pictured), who posted on Thursday, "Yesterday was our very last day of shooting #30Rock laugher,tears,emotional speeches &amp;a lot of cake. Tonight we celebrate 7 great years :)"
Now, we're sure that everyone was truly broken up over the conclusion of their long-running, critically acclaimed program. But why, then, can no one seem to focus on the fact that their picture is being taken? If you take a good look at the picture, you'll see many familiar faces from the TGS writers room — those of Cerie (Bowden), Frank (Judah Friedlander), Twofer (Keith Powell), Lutz (J.D. Lutz), and Sue (Sue Galloway) mesmerized by some bizarre offscreen phenomenon. Oddly, the usually befuddled Tracy Jordan (Tracy Morgan) seems focused, with his reliable entouragee Dot Com following suit. So what exactly might all of these people be so engrossed by?
Here are a few theories...
What is Cerie looking at?
Back from a nine-month voyage with his Somali pirate cronies, Cerie's socialite husband Aris has started an off-camera brawl with NBC page Kenneth Parcell... a long-gestating rivalry, fueled by an ill-conceived kiss Kenneth gave Cerie back in Season 1 of 30 Rock.
What is Frank looking at?
Having caught a glimpse of the one NBC cleaning lady with whom he has not fostered a romantic fling, Frank has taken to studying her habits diligently in order to win her heart before his days in the GE Building are over for good.
What is Twofer looking at?
Upon hearing someone shout something defamatory about his alma mater (he went to school in Boston... well, not in Boston, but nearby... no, not Tufts), and refuses to take that sort of codswallop lying down.
What is Lutz looking at?
Any semblance of a friend he might make before the final wrap of the show.
What is Sue looking at?
Whatever the English translation of a "fondruke" is.
What isn't Tracy Jordan looking at?
Captivated for once by the task he's been asked to undertake (smiling and staring straight ahead, kind of his wheelhouse), Tracy seems to be missing whatever is keeping his colleagues so enrapt. Perhaps he was sedated by a Diet Slice and some pita chips.
What is Dot Com ruminating about?
Having come to terms with his romantic inadequacies and personal insecurities, the sage prophet that is Walter Slattery can now smile big, thinking back upon a life of artistic expression in The Seagull and Angels in America. You've done well, Dot Com. You deserve a smile.
[Photo Credit: Twitter]
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In the wake of the Newtown school shooting, we’ve witnessed the entertainment industry’s immense capacity for silence in the name of sensitivity. Between premieres and red carpets canceled as a measure of respect, violent trailers altered or removed, disclaimers placed before wildly violent content, some TV episodes and even series removed altogether, and even songs being removed from radio waves, Hollywood is on its toes to make sure its audiences aren’t offended by content. And in most of those cases, those that involve brutal and extreme violence, the removal or warning is practically a no-brainer. But in some cases, when the intent is clearly something other than violence — one instance includes the partial banning of Ke$ha's "Die Young" despite the fact that song is about partying and has nothing to do with violence of any kind — the line starts to blur between content that should be banned and content that is being targeted simply because we, as a nation, are so very sensitive at this moment in time. The latest subject in question is a strange one: a scene from Judd Apatow’s new comedy This Is 40.
The scene brought into question by a few publications involves Pete’s (Paul Rudd) dad Larry (Albert Brooks) making a joke about being too poor to support his three children. As such, he and his kids play a “murder game,” to decrease the family's expenses. But unlike the violent scenes in trailers like that of Jack Reacher, which had a sniper scene removed from it out of sensitivity, and that of Dead Man Down, which was temporarily removed from the internet due to its violent nature, this joke doesn’t really seem to fit the bill. And so far, Universal has shown no signs of plans to remove the joke from the film.
Brooks’ scene sounds somewhat awful when recited out of context and with mere words, rather than as a scene within the film. When Pete can’t offer the financial help Larry seeks, Larry makes a joke that maybe if he killed one of the kids, he could afford to support his family. As he’s having a conversation with Pete, he sprays his kids in the yard with a hose, and jokingly asks the kids to “line up for murder.” The kids, clearly wanting to be sprayed with water on a hot Los Angeles day, play along asking their father to “shoot” them with water. They all fall down giggling, giddy at the chance to get to play water games in the backyard. It’s not hard to spell out why some people might make an upsetting connection between this text description and the events in Connecticut last week. But should we make that connection?
In response to criticism of the scene, Apatow tells TMZ, the joke “is spoken by a sarcastic father kidding with his children. In light of recent events, I understand if some people might make an unfortunate association or put it in a context in which it was not intended.” And that’s exactly what the scene is: a father being sarcastic. There was no malicious intent in writing and shooting the scene — it was simply meant to be a joke. Seeing the scene a week before the tragedy in Newtown, it was easy to be unfazed. It has simply delivered the comedy writing standby: hyperbole for comedic effect. But with the knowledge of tragedy, does the joke somehow change? Does a harmless rib suddenly become harmful even when its intent was anything but? It's only after something terrible happens that we decide a bit of comedy is no longer funny, that it's "too soon" to joke. But if the scene was offensive and unfunny, we should also have taken offense to countless other taboo jokes in film and television, before we were slapped in the face by tragedy.
If Brooks' scene from This Is 40 is to raise a question, it's not, for once, the "too soon?" question. Instead, perhaps we should be asking whether we've become too desensitized to watching violence in comedy. But that leads to a larger question: Should anything change, or is offensive material essential to the genre? After all, comedy, in all its forms, almost always involves offending someone. That's not to say comedians have carte blanche to be as offensive as they like – just look at the Daniel Tosh rape joke heard ‘round the Internet. But we've become accustomed to accepting something potentially offensive as long as it makes us laugh. In his 2011 comedy special, John Cleese Live! The Alimony Tour, respected British comedian John Cleese tries to explain why it is that offensive comedy so often lines up with some of the funniest comedy: When you get into taboo areas, that is areas like dead bodies or limbs coming off or anything sexual, there’s always a bit of anxiety because it is taboo, you see. But for some people, just a few, there’s a lot of anxiety. So when the subject is raised, they sort of freeze up and they feel very uncomfortable and they hate it and they hate the fact that people around them are laughing so much and they say, "I’ve been offended." However, most people just have a little bit of anxiety, so what happens is that if you make them laugh, you get an even bigger laugh than you do normally, because you get the normal laugh and then you get the extra energy that comes from that little bit of anxiety being liberated. You get huge laughs when you deal with taboo subjects and that’s one reason why my humor has a pretty black quality to it some of the time.Similarly, in the wake of the Tosh rape joke controversy, comedian’s comedian Louis C.K. said during an interview on The Daily Show that while he didn't support Tosh's jab, “For me, any joke about anything bad is great, that’s how I feel.” He went on to emphasize that he’d educated himself on what rape means to women and how it “polices their lives,” concluding that “I can still enjoy a good rape joke” – a line greeted with the Daily Show audience's tentative, yet bombastic, laughter, similar to the outburst Cleese describes. Still, as Cleese says, some people can't enjoy a taboo joke. They're not for everyone. And that’s both the beauty and the bane of comedy: It’s absolutely subjective. In Apatow’s films alone, there are innumerable pegs for potential offense, most of which went onto the big screen unscathed by any complaint. In Knocked Up – the film that inspired This Is 40 – Seth Rogen’s character Ben reacts with a ridiculously violent retort in a moment of parental dress similar to Brooks', and I can still recall how hard the audience in the Southern California theater where I saw the flick laughed at Ben’s papa bear bravado. When Alison’s (Katherine Heigl) doctor is not available to bring their child into the world as Alison goes into labor, Papa Ben springs into verbal action while leaving a voicemail for the missing doc: Hey, Doc Howard. Ben Stone calling. Guess what the f**k's up? Allison is going into labor, and you are not f**king here. You know where you're at? You’re at a f**king Bar Mitzvah in San Francisco, you motherf**king piece of s**t. And you know what I'm gonna have to do now? I'm going have to kill you. I'm gonna pop a f**king cap in your ass. You're dead. You're Tupac. You are f**king Biggie, you piece of s**t. I hope you f**king die, or drop the chair and kill that f**king kid... I hope your plane crashes. Peace, f**ker!That quote, meant to emphasize just how dedicated the former slacker Ben is to making his girlfriend and their child’s life as perfect as it can possibly be when the man they trusted leaves them high and dry (or with a strange new doctor they don’t trust with the birth of their child) runs the gamut of offensive material. It enters territories from gang violence, to the death of an innocent kid at the Bar Mitzvah, to the horror of a plane crash – Ben invokes it all, and yet this line was read as funny, and even touching, within the context of the film. And while, subjectively, those of us still reeling from the tragic events in Newtown may take great offense to the The Is 40 joke. Its intent isn't malicious, nor was it particularly violent when shown in context. That’s not to say that any feelings of offense derived from the scene are invalid or inappropriate, but rather that comedic writers often cross lines, and, in doing so, find pockets of hilarity. That’s how the art of comedy works. But unlike scenes in which a gunman or gunmen with angry, violent intent take innocent lives – like the opening sniper scene cut from the Jack Reacher trailer or even the Foster the People song pulled from the radio that includes lyrics like “All the other kids with their pumped up kicks/Better run, better run, faster than my bullet” – the bit in This Is 40 could occur at any time other than in the face of this tragedy, and be passed off by most viewers as a strange, quirky couple of lines making use of comedic exaggeration. But even with that context, it’s up to viewers to decide whether or not this joke is deeply disturbing or simply a quip with an unfortunate possible connection. Yes, the timing is bad, but does that mean the joke is too? Follow Kelsea on Twitter @KelseaStahler [Photo Credit: Universal Pictures] More: 'This Is 40': Judd Apatow on Staying Relevant and P.T. Anderson's Love of 'Heavyweights' Death By Éclair: How Paul Rudd Almost Killed Leslie Mann on ‘This is 40’ Sandy Hook: Will Hollywood Limit Violence in TV and Movies Following Tragedy? From Our Partners: ’A Few Good Men’: Where Are They Now? (Moviefone) Best Mother and Son Movies: ‘Forrest Gump’ and More! (Moviefone)

UPDATE: Samuel L. Jackson denied dropping an f-bomb (but does admit to cursing) on Twitter:
I only said FUH not FUCK!K was sposed to cut off da BULLSHIT, blew it!! twitter.com/SamuelLJackson…
— Samuel L. Jackson (@SamuelLJackson) December 16, 2012
EARLIER: We're used to cheering like a Spartan whenever Will Ferrell, Tina Fey, Jimmy Fallon or another recently departed Saturday Night Live alum returns to Studio 8H. But SNL fans found themselves disappointed when a former SNL legend returned to glory on the sketch comedy show's stage. Dana Carvey — also known as one of the main reasons (save Chris Farley) the early 1990s is still held up on an SNL pedestal — seemed a promising host for fans in 2011, but, sadly, the actor's revival of popular characters like Wayne's World's Wayne, Ross Perot, and Church Lady seemed more unoriginal than nostalgic.
So, considering Carvey's stint, Martin Short's hosting gig Saturday seemed worrisome — would we be forced to sit through Ed Grimley and Jerry Lewis sketches years after we already grew sick of them watching best of SNL VHS tapes?
As it turned out, absolutely not. Short proved to be a delightful host who was just as hilarious as he was current. We were subjected to a split second of Ed Grimley, but only during Short's jolly monologue, which brought us even more exciting SNL characters of seasons past. Well, rather, cast members — Fey, Fallon, Kristen Wiig (complete with Junice baby hand), and honorary cast member Tom Hanks (making his second SNL cameo this year) all joined in Short's Christmas-centric musical number, which marked the seventh this season. This week, however, the musical monologue was worth it — it's hard to say what sight was better: Abe Lincoln with a llama or Short planting a smooch on the predictably stoic Lorne Michaels. Still, each paled in comparison to Short's astute ad lib, "How does a man sit on a piano, I wonder?"
The SNL cameos continued with "A Tony Bennett Christmas," headed up by Alec Baldwin's fan-favorite impression of the crooner. The sketch veered into ESPN Classic territory with its ad-shilling bathroom humor ("It's sure easy to get down in the dumps when you can't take one"), but, then again, anything that reminds us of Will Forte's Greg Stink picks us out of the dumps.
But, following the sketch, we hardly said "Cheerio!" to bathroom humor. The next sketch — about a royal OBGYN being trained to treat the Duchess of Cambridge — mainly centered on euphemisms for female genitalia: "The King-Maker," "Thomas' English Muffin," and, of course, "Her Downton Abbey" among them. Anyone else in the role of the consultant tasked with prepping Bill Hader's OBGYN would have been groan-worthy, but Short even managed to make a dated Camilla Parker-Bowles funnier than the prospect of her Downton Abbey being guarded by a troll that asks you a riddle. Just ask Hader, who couldn't keep a straight face while Short revealed euphemisms for the anal cavity. (In case you were wondering, "The Church of Taint Andrews" is one.)
More impressive, though, was Short's impeccable impression of Larry David as Linus in an adult-themed, star-studded Charlie Brown special, You're a Rat Bastard, Charlie Brown. Typically, Hader's impersonations steal SNL sketches, but his Al Pacino paled in comparison to Short's David. The actor even looked like the Curb Your Enthusiasm star. Other highlights included Taran Killam's Michael Keaton and Jason Sudeikis' Philip Seymour Hoffman — though I can't be the only one wishing Nasim Pedrad's celebrity impressions all didn't sound like Nasim Pedrad. Kristin Chenoweth deserves better — and no, this time around, I'm not talking about Jake Pavelka.
Speaking of zingers, Seth Meyers' one-liners were the highlight of Weekend Update, attracting more laughs than Vanessa Bayer's adorably funny roasting Bar Mitzvah boy and Cecily Strong's ho-hum revival of Girl You Wish You Hadn't Started a Conversation With at a Party. Jokes about Jersey Shore's finale and criticism of Barbara Walters for asking Hillary Clinton about her hair over her policies were astute enough, but the funniest one-liner of the night was also the bluest: “An Ohio woman who gave birth to her daughter at 12:12 p.m. on 12-12-12 has named her 'Forever.' Which I suspect is how long she’ll be a stripper.”
Samuel L. Jackson, who made a cameo alongside SNL's stars in Short's monologue, returned to appear in Kenan Thompson's recurring — but long dormant — "What's Up With That?" sketch. The premise remains the same, and so does Sudeikis' jaunty tracksuit dancing — but this week, the sketch came with a NSFW twist. Pulling a Jenny Slate, Jackson dropped an f-bomb at the end of "What's Up With That?" and followed it up with a "bulls--t." "Come on now, that costs money," Thompson ad-libbed. Your move, FCC.
SNL rounded out its episode with a sketch about two old friends (Fred Armisen and Short) with bizarre hobbies (acting for EMT training) and habits (eating 25 bagels a day) that was sorely lacking a Stefon, and a Christmas pageant audition sketch with Short and musical guest Paul McCartney that quickly turned into a Christmas-themed performance from the former Beatle. But while McCartney turned in two other lovely performances — including a reprise of his "Valentine" single — the rock legend was overshadowed by SNL's touching cold open, which featured the New York Childrens Chorus singing "Silent Night" as a quiet tribute to the Sandy Hook tragedy. The moment echoed Paul Simon's post-9/11 performance of "The Boxer" on the sketch comedy series, and proved, once again, SNL can be as heartfelt as it is funny. We might not be able to sleep in heavenly peace for some time, but dammit if SNL didn't help us try.
[Image Credit: NBC]
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Promised Land, John Krasinski and Matt Damon's commentary on how the fracking industry can drastically change small town dynamics, is a movie that could only be made in 2012 — as an increasingly bright light has been shone on the dangers of fracking in the past few years, the movie gained a "now or never" immediacy. Which is why, even when Damon had to unexpectedly back down from his intended post as the film's director, the entire cast and crew was adamant about getting the film made as soon as possible. At a Q&amp;A conducted for EPIX and LA Times' Envelope Screening Series, screenwriters/producers/actors John Krasinski and Matt Damon as well as director Gus Van Sant (Restless, Milk) spoke about how Promised Land is a product of the times.
Damon says of telling Krasinski he could no longer direct, "I had to bow out as director. Which was an awesome moment for me and Jon, because as producers it's always good to call your fellow producer and go, 'Yeah, we just lost our director and our funding. Thanks.'" Luckily, Van Sant was able to step in, keeping the movie's production on its tight schedule.
Van Sant says, "There was sort of almost a time limit, it seemed, because the issue was new. And yet, I think we assumed it would gain a lot of momentum and maybe be a lot further along a year later as it is now. And possibly one more year more stuff would come up and maybe our screenplay would be dated."
To hear the rest of Krasinski, Damon, and Van Sant's discussion on the Promised Land director shuffle as well as putting a movie together in record time, check out the video below.
Follow Abbey Stone on Twitter @abbeystone
[Photo Credit: Focus Features]
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This week marked a few very pivotal moments in our world’s history. Not only did we experience the very last repetitive date (12/12/12) of our lifetime (you know, unless you plan on living a really, really long time), but we also witnessed an event that is both near and dear to every reality show junkie’s heart: The X Factor semifinals!
That’s right, folks. Believe it or not, we’re now down to the final four of the competition, where even one little mistake can mean the difference between safe and signora. Their musical careers are actually hanging in the balance (and for once it has nothing to do with our crappy economy). It has to do with America’s votes. And with the finals only a week away, these guys (and gals) were willing to put it all on the line and take a few risks.
This week’s Semifinals round featured each act performing two musical numbers: one chosen by the acts themselves and the other chosen by their mentor. So which contestants shined above the rest and which ones failed to impress? Check out our recap below and find out!
Tate Stevens (Over 25s — Team L.A. Reid):
This lovable cowboy kicked off the night with his song choice, “Bonfire” by Craig Morgan, in appreciation of his great family and friends back home. Our favorite country crooner did what he does best and sang from the heart with as much twang as possible. As always, he’s adorable and impossible not to root for (as America has proven week after week). Britney wasn’t all that thrilled by the song choice, however, Demi called it a “winning performance” while Simon remarked that he looks like a man who can win this competition.
Tate’s second song, “Fall” by Clay Walker, was greeted with just as much — if not more — praise than the first. He gets so absorbed in every single song he sings, it’s hard not to get swept up into all the emotion. Seriously, if he put any more feeling into his performances it would be a Nicholas Sparks book. If you want to swoon over someone, ladies, swoon over this guy. Britney called his performance a direct hit and Simon told Tate that he is just as likely to leave this competition as Simon is to fly to the moon. No doubt about it, this guy deserves to be in the finals.
Carly Rose Sonenclar (Teens — Team Britney Spears):
There’s no doubt that Carly Rose is a talented singer. I mean, being able to successfully cover songs from some of the biggest Pop Queens in the world is no easy feat, yet she somehow always manages to pull it off without fail. And this week was no exception. The 13-year-old superstar tackled a piece from one of the fiercest divas of them all: Elton John, singing his popular hit song “Your Song.” It was a risky song, but once again, she managed to nail it and make the performance her own (ugh, 13 people!). I guess those awkward teenage years just don’t happen for some people. Overall, the judges loved it. Demi said it was predictable, but still considered it her best song yet, whereas Simon thought she was a little hesitant and felt she could do much better. That’s probably just the bitterness talking though…I hear Scrooge Simon gets like that around this time of year.
For her second song, Carly Rose sang John Lennon’s classic hit, “Imagine.” Normally, I’d advise against singing two super slow songs back to back, but this girl just seems to make it work no matter what. She always defies the norm. And, as an X-tra bonus, we got to see her play the piano, which was pretty cool. L.A., Demi, and Britney all thought it was incredible, but Simon felt there was just too much going on. Yeah…awesomeness! Vote for this girl, America. She deserves it.
Emblem3 (Groups — Team Simon Cowell):
Never missing an opportunity to make teenage girls swoon, Emblem3 opted to sing “Baby I Love Your Way” by Peter Frampton, in honor of simpler times. To be honest, it felt more like a fangirl serenade than anything nostalgic. I don’t know why I can’t get on this boy group bandwagon, but they just don’t do anything for me. They’re cute and know how to work a crowd, but Simon’s over-cockiness seems to be rubbing off on them and I just don’t feel any real emotion from their performances. (At least there were no awkward solos this week, right?) L.A. called it their $5 million moment and Britney said they’re way more than just a boy band (though I’m not really sure what that means…The next Bachelor? Future DWTS contestants? Who knows!)
Their second number of the night, Paul McCartney’s “Hey Jude,” was performed with some actual emotion, which almost redeemed themselves in my eyes. Almost. But the amount of praise they received from the judges was a little hard to digest. Aside from the regular positive feedback we’ve grown accustom to hearing, L.A. actually remarked that they are teen heartthrobs like The Beatles. WHAT THE WHAT?! Yes, these guys can kind of sing and work a crowd, but they should NOT be getting compared to one of the most legendary boy bands of all time. That’s like comparing apples and oranges. It will take a lot more work for them to get to that level. These guys can’t by my love that easily.
Fifth Harmony (Groups — Team Simon Cowell):
For their first song, Fifth Harmony tackled “Anything Could Happen” by Ellie Goulding, which is pretty appropriate since, at this point, anything could happen. You know, except the fact that they’re definitely the ones who will be going home this week. They just don’t have the same singing capabilities as Tate and Carly; and Emblem3 has too big of a fan base to be eliminated. They actually did do some harmonizing though, which L.A. was very pleased to see (or should I say hear). He called it their best vocal performance they’ve ever done and Britney thought it inspired girl power. (Spice Girls reference everyone!) And as far as risks go…that girl’s bow was really something…
But some risks don’t always work out the way you want them to. The girls rounded out the night by singing Shontelle’s “Impossible,” a song they already performed earlier this season at the judges’ homes. They also chose to sing parts of the song in Spanish to bring their own unique flair to the competition. However, regardless of whether it was in Spanish or English, this not-so-risky song choice didn’t seem to sit too well with the judges. L.A. called it lazy and Britney said she would be very surprised if they make it to next week’s finals. Sorry ladies, repeating a song you’ve already performed is no bueno.
So what did you think of Wednesday night’s round of performances? Which acts do you think stand the biggest chance of making it to the finals? Sound off on your thoughts in the comments below and don’t forget to tune in for Thursday night’s results show where the Top 3 will be revealed and on to the finals!
Follow Kelly on Twitter @KellyBean0415
[Photo credit: Ray Mickshaw/FOX]
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That was a close one.
Last week, The Vampire Diaries threatened to lose the credibility of its series-long love triangle by explaining away Elena’s newly-expressed love for Damon as the baby vamp being sired to her new beau. If Stefan and Caroline’s hair-brained theory about Elena falling in love with Damon because her blood bond told her to was correct, the plot twist would have undermined three seasons of building desire between them. Luckily, the sire-bond plot thickened in a good way.
As it turns out, Elena is sired. But, it’s not so bad. When it comes to vampires, siring only affects the minion’s decisions, not their feelings. In fact, the only way a young vampire is sired to an older one is if they are in love with their agent of change before taking their final mortal breath. Unfortunately for Stefan, that means Elena really does love Damon, even if it’s annoying that she agrees with every little thing he asks her to do, including to digest or not to digest blood that doesn’t come straight from the vein.
But it’s still a problem, and a perplexing one at that. We’re all aware of the effects of puppy love, but could you imagine if that power of coercion lasted long past the honeymoon period? It’d be a relationship straight out of the middle ages. But beyond the anti-feminist elements of a relationship complicated by a sire bond is the potentially dangerous consequence: when a master tells his minion to do anything, she does it, even if he was being sarcastic. Obviously, for a sarcastic bastard like Damon, this is going to be a problem.
In fact, when Damon and Stefan go to New Orleans to find a witch who may be able to reverse the sire bond with a spell, Damon remembers back to the first girl he sired: Maggie from The Nanny. He left her to watch over his drink, telling her to show no mercy to anyone who took his drink and she ends up killing some dope who elbows Damon’s scotch. She’s basically a loaded weapon in addition to being one of those girls who’ll do anything her boyfriend asks her to, whether she likes it or not.
Naturally, Damon is committed to reversing the sire bond. He doesn’t want the girl he loves to be a drone and he certainly doesn’t want her committing any more murders (like Connor’s) because he suggests she do it. Unfortunately, when Damon and Stefan find the daughter of the witch Damon enlisted ‘40s for the un-siring deed, she tells them that the reason her mother skipped out on them all those years ago is because she needed the spell’s requisite 12 person sacrifice for another spell she was working on and figured it was convenient. There isn’t a spell to reverse the sire bond, all Damon can do is tell Elena he doesn’t want her anymore, like an impossibly beautiful Old Yeller.
After flashing back to the ‘40s, when Damon sacrificed his own happiness to let Stefan have the space he needed to curb his ripper side, Damon knows he’s got to do right by his brother and Elena and let her go. The problem is that while Elena is swayed by Damon’s power of suggestion, she’s not an idiot and her love is real. And she just spent her entire night justifying her love for Damon to an uppity blonde vampire who’s hell bent on getting Elena back together with Stefan. (It’s Caroline.) Elena’s not about to let Damon just walk out on her. She knows her feelings are real.
As Damon prepares to break both their hearts, she grabs his hand and puts it on her heart as she puts her hand on his face. “Does this feel wrong?” she says. Of course he doesn’t think it feels wrong. It feels amazing. After watching these two kiss away their blissful (sexy) morning, it’s clear that it feels completely right for them to be touching each other so tenderly. Damon says this decision is for her; he can’t be selfish with her. All it takes is Elena’s touch to change his mind.
But does it have to be this way? Sire bond or nothing? What if Damon told Elena not to blindly obey everything he says and to make her decisions for herself? Wouldn’t that count as a command that she’d be forced to carry out and thus eliminate all further commands? Or is Elena forced to remain a drone for Damon, tainting all that’s great about their coupling?
Unfortunately, that question won’t be answered until next week. But this week, we finally got a few answers about Professor Shane. Bonnie is seriously mooning over her spirit guide, but his evil plan is starting to reveal itself to us. Haley visits Shane to tell him their 12th hybrid isn’t finishing the conversion, and he says he wants Tyler, but she won’t do it. Shane threatens to without the information he has about her parents unless she comes back with 12 unsired hybrids. It’s likely no small coincidence that Shane calls his alternate form of magic the same thing the voodoo woman from New Orleans called her dark magic: Expression. And it’s no smaller coincidence that they need 12 hybrids. That’s the same number of humans the witch asked Damon for, when she betrayed him in order to complete a different spell than the one he was after. We’re not sure why Shane needs these 12 unsired hybrids to complete his vampire hunter map plan, and Damon gives no indication of the fleeing witch needed her 12 humans for all those years ago, so this is clearly one of those mysteries we’ll be chasing for at least another week.
But those mysteries aren’t the biggest head-scratchers. When Tyler and Haley are working to unsire hybrids, one starts to lose his resolve. Another hybrid pushes back on Tyler, saying Tyler’s becoming just like Klaus. It’s a notion that doesn’t go away quickly or easily. In fact, when the defiant hybrids capture Caroline as a means of revenge, Tyler puts his hand in one wolf’s chest, seconds from killing her unless she agrees to follow him resolutely. Obviously, he knows best when it comes to breaking the sire bond, but does he need to be their Klaus surrogate? Isn’t that just as awful? Even so, it’s a little fun letting Tyler become dark Tyler again. One can only take so much impossibly mushy stuff for so long.
Do you think there’s a way for Damon to keep his relationship and rid Elena of her sire bond?
Follow Kelsea on Twitter @KelseaStahler
[Photo Credit: CW]
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