Zlatan Ibrahimovic has lit up LA Galaxy games but is it enough to make his team MLS’s most exciting club?
Photograph: Jae C Hong/AP

It’s important to preface this highly subjective, lightly scientific list by asserting that MLS is in a very good place right now. Each of the 23 clubs provide ample reason to tune in. But, like any other league, there is a disparity between the top and bottom. Below we present the teams most attractive to neutrals.

One important reminder: this is not comprised exclusively on quality. The teams are sorted based on the elusive, nebulous “watchability” factor.

23) Colorado Rapids

Somebody had to be last. Apologies, Rapids fans, but English Championship retreads playing in an ultra-defensive 5-4-1 formation don’t exactly create can’t-miss soccer. With offensive tactics that loosely translate to “give something for Dominique Badji to run onto and hope he can win a corner,” there isn’t much to see from Colorado.

Their games can be scrappy too. The Rapids have picked up 56 yellow cards this season, far and away the most in the league. Second placed Orlando City have 41. They commit the most fouls per game (15.4), and hold the least amount of possession in the league (43.4%).

22) Seattle Sounders

The Sounders do have some things going for them: a great stadium, passionate fans and the likelihood that Clint Dempsey will do something unintenionally funny.

And while Dempsey is dependable for memorable moments, both good and bad, he’s also near the end of his career. Nicolas Lodeiro (a league-best 3.5 key passes per game) and Cristian Roldan are quality players, but the Sounders have scored the fewest goals in the league by a comfortable margin (15), have the fewest from open play (12) and lack exciting players to cling to.

21) DC United

Wayne Rooney will be eligible to make his DC debut as the team christen their new stadium on 14 July. Five years ago, the acquisition would have been celebrated ad nauseam. Today, it’s met with general cynicism and the assumption that the money could have been better spent elsewhere.

The latter point is absolutely correct, but Rooney will make the team more exciting. He joins a team bottom of the league in expected goals (xG) and third-last in shots (11.1) per game.

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20) Philadelphia Union

The Union have played decent soccer this year and will remain in the playoff hunt. Goalkeeper Andre Blake is more than good enough to be in Europe and 19-year-old defender Auston Trusty has handled his transition to the first-team wonderfully. The Union are just not all that great to watch.

They’ve scored the fewest goals in the Eastern Conference (21) but are in the top third in the league in shots per game (14.7). Striker CJ Sapong has mostly struggled with form and luck. Big offseason acquisition David Accam has even remotely resembled the player they thought they acquired from the Chicago Fire. Ilsinho can produce flashes of brilliance, ditto for Fafa Picault, but they’re not enough to make Philly a can’t-miss experience.

19) Real Salt Lake

Salt Lake head coach Mike Petke is a vibrant figure on the sideline and in interviews, but he doesn’t elicit great soccer from his team. The most entertaining thing about Salt Lake this season was when Albert Rusnak admitted he couldn’t wait to get a break from the club for international duty.

Salt Lake’s watchability has also been negatively impacted by Kyle Beckerman’s decision to chop his dreads last season. His hair was mesmerizing even when he completed mundane passes.

18) Montreal Impact

Ignacio Piatti has been let down by Montreal’s front office. If not for his brilliance, the Impact would be totally anonymous. Despite Piatti and Saphir Taider each averaging around three shots per game, the Impact take the league’s fourth-fewest shots.

17) New England Revolution

Matt Turner is one of MLS’s most pleasant surprises. The keeper entered preseason with few expectations, as his professional career had consisted of 27 appearances in the USL. Now, the undrafted 23-year-old is a legitimate goalkeeper of the year candidate and leads the league in xG saved.

Apart from that, Brad Friedel’s side hasn’t engineered much to talk about. Juan Agudelo is a fine player but has fallen victim to the beast of expectation. The one-time Future of American Soccer hasn’t come near the lofty career arc mapped out for him. Teal Bunbury and Cristian Penilla have played well but the Revs don’t generate vivid, effervescent football.

16) San Jose Earthquakes

San Jose are a case study for the argument that more goals don’t always mean more excitement. They’ve been involved in the joint-most goals in the league, 63 (28 scored, 35 conceded) and have had 10 matches with four or more goals.

But, outside of Chris Wondolowski’s chase for the all-time MLS scoring record, and the play of Valeri “Vako” Qazaishvili and Danny Hoesen, there isn’t much exciting about the team.

15) Columbus Crew

Among teams currently occupying playoff positions, the Crew have scored the fewest goals (24) and have just two players who have scored more than one goal this season.

But those two players, a stout defense and a fantastic manager in Gregg Berhalter have carried the team this season. Gyasi Zardes (11 goals in 1,778 minutes) has rediscovered his ability to score after he was dropped to fullback at times for the Galaxy last season, and Federico Higuain has been as stellar as usual.

14) Chicago Fire

The Fire are hopeful for a return to the playoffs this season but are they another mid-table team cloaked in anonymity?

Chicago attempt the second-fewest shots per game (10.7), but sit around league average for xG. Early in the season they conceded much too often but have sharpened a dull defense of late. Bastian Schweinsteiger, Dax McCarty, Nemanja Nikolic and Aleksandar Katai represent a decent core.

13) Vancouver Whitecaps

Consume as much Alphonso Davies as possible while he’s still in the league, because he won’t be around much longer. Davies is leading MLS in dribbles per game (4.5), yet is dispossessed less per game (1.4) than all but one of the other top 10 dribblers in the league. The 17-year-old is also starting to contribute an end product (two goals and eight assists in 1,419 minutes).

However, Vancouver’s style simply isn’t attractive. They don’t hold onto the ball much, with the league’s second-lowest possession percentage per game (45.9%), and are in the middle of the pack in goals scored (29). They’re tied for second-most goals conceded (37), creating the likelihood for spectacles, but goals don’t always mean great games.

12) Houston Dynamo

The Dynamo are responsible for the most inexplicable result of the season when they went to Atlanta and trounced the hosts 4-0 in the first game of the season. It remains their only win on the road this season.

Houston don’t have a go-to marquee player, but they have an interchangeable attacking quartet who are all excelling this season.

11) Toronto FC

One of MLS’ chief mysteries: what the hell happened to Toronto? In 2017, they were statistically the best team in league history. In 2018, they returned nearly the same squad but have been a relative abomination. Injuries and a Concacaf Champions League hangover can’t be solely blamed for their misfortunes.

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TFC are an interesting soap opera, rife with drama and masochism, but the show isn’t nearly as exciting as when they were taking a flamethrower to the league last year. Also: can someone please remove the kryptonite from Sebastian Giovinco’s right boot?

10) FC Dallas

FC Dallas are an excellent team but they aren’t terribly interesting. And they just sold one of their best players, Mauro Diaz.

Roland Lamah should be a bigger star given his ability and style, but that’s about it. Second-leading scorer Maxi Urruti infuriates Dallas supporters with suspect decision-making all too often. They have been involved in games with the second-fewest goals (28 for, 21 against) in the league.

9) Portland Timbers

If nothing else, the Timbers will always have one of the best atmospheres in the league. But MVP Diego Valeri’s excellence, Samuel Armenteros’s penchant for golazos and Diego Chara’s ability to annoy the league’s most creative players make for a fun team. Plus, who doesn’t want to watch a lumberjack take a chainsaw to a tree trunk whenever a goal is scored?

8) Minnesota United

The Loons have played to a goalless draw exactly once in their short MLS existence. Minnesota allowed more goals than any team in league history last season (70) and have made small improvements this season, but still allow more shots per game than any other team (17.4) and make the most tackles (22.7). Their attack has evolved, thanks to Darwin Quintero. Shoutout to their home kits too: the all-grays are fantastic, a pleasant surprise given the inherent insipid nature of gray.

7) Sporting Kansas City

Kansas City have evolved from the defense-first, cautious side of years past to a more attack-minded team, without sacrificing success. They take more shots per game than any other club in the league (17.5) and are second in possession (56.3%).

6) LA Galaxy

Zlatan Ibrahimovic (11goals in 973 minutes) was born to play in Hollywood. And there’s still life in those 36-year-old legs. Just for his elusive ability to create magic, neutrals should be tuning in. Bonus points for Zlatan’s humor, knack for big moments and vivid quotes.

Romain Alessandrini is criminally underrated and the Galaxy continue to impatiently wait for Gio dos Santos to perform at a level even remotely resembling his 2016 season.

5) Orlando City

Orlando City’s season has played out like a Shakespearean tragedy: tragic heroes, fatal flaws, internal conflict, external conflict and comic relief.

They maraud on emphatic winning runs and endure painful losing streaks all while conceding a ton, scoring a bunch and appearing to be on the precipice of a fight more often than not. There’s still much more to come from this team, specifically from Sacha Kljestan, though his peripheral numbers such as chances created and key passes suggest an assist storm is imminent, which will raise the already adequate output of Dom Dwyer (seven goals in 990 minutes).

As an added bonus, both their home and away kits are wonderful and their fans consistently create a fantastic environment.

4) New York City FC

NYC FC are much, much more than just David Villa these days. And the club’s ethos will stay the same, even without Patrick Vieira. Behind the still-sublime Villa, City have gotten more from Maxi Moralez this season and have shrewd additions like Ismael Tajouri-Shradi, Jo Inge Berget and Jesus Medina. Medina, who just turned 21, should be the player to benefit most from new head coach, and former Pep Guardiola assistant, Dome Torrent. Even more impressive, they produce all this on a cramped pitch in a baseball stadium.

3) New York Red Bulls

You know what you’re getting from the Red Bulls: a team that press and then look to play forward from the moment they win the ball back. It’s why they have an MLS-worst 71.1% pass completion percentage – they loathe aimless possession. Jesse Marsch was one of the top coaches in the league before departing and nothing will change how they play under Chris Armas

Bradley Wright-Phillips (11 goals in 1,142 minutes) is finally getting the praise he deserves. Kaku has proved worth the wait (and memes). His playmaking ability has been historic, he scores goals while matching his natural skill with a high workrate and adept pressing. Even the centre-backs are fun – Aaron Long is no stranger to scoring quality goals, while Tim Parker always looks like somebody just cut him off in traffic.

2) Los Angeles FC

LAFC borrowed Atlanta’s expansion plan and have executed better than the club could have possibility imagined, especially during the absence of Carlos Vela and Marco Urena during the World Cup.

Vela is a favorite for newcomer of the year and was firmly in the MVP race before putting his season on pause for Mexico. Diego Rossi will only continue to improve and now Adama Diomande has forced his way into the team. Bob Bradley’s side have scored the second-most goals (41) in the league, take the third-most shots (15.7) and have scored the most goals from open play (29).

Bonus points for the sleek black-and-gold kits.

1) Atlanta United

Atlanta United are about as perfect a viewing experience as any MLS fan can reasonably expect.

Miguel Almiron (eight goals and nine assists in 1,745 minutes) is the MVP frontrunner and even his gaudy stats don’t do his brilliance justice. Josef Martinez (18 goals in 1,647 minutes) has been scoring at historic rates since entering the league last year. More will come from Ezequiel Barco and Julian Gressel was born specifically to play wingback for this team.

United have scored more goals than anyone in the league (42) and concede a little too often (23) for Tata Martino’s liking. They can break down a bunkered defense, score from distance and set pieces and have a frightening counter attack. Their kits are class, their fans are raucous and the stadium is brilliant.