Mitch McConnell has rounded up the necessary votes to block Democrats from bringing Wall Street reform to the Senate floor, a spokesman for the Senate Minority Leader said on Friday afternoon.

"Goddammit," said McConnell, "Wall Street should get to do whatever the hell it wants and you all can just shut up and take it. Did I do good, boss?" he added. "Can I have my check now?"

Oh, no. wait. That's not what he said. That would be honest. Here's what he actually said:

'We simply cannot ask the American taxpayer to continue to subsidize this 'too big to fail' policy. We must ensure that Wall Street no longer believes or relies on Main Street to bail them out. Inaction is not an option," McConnell writes in a letter to Reid.

Jeez, you'd think he'd at least try to make some kind of sense. "Inaction is not an option, now excuse me while I go ensure inaction."

What a pathetic display. We can not continue the current situation, so I'm going to make sure that nothing gets done. Whatever President Obama or Harry Reid propose, these tools are going to try to block it, obstruct it, delay it. If Reid proposed a National Mitch McConnell Day holiday, Mitch McConnell would be against it.