First impressions are an even bigger deal than you thought. A little spinning of the facts here can be a good thing.

There is a home field advantage in negotiation. Even if you’re not on home turf, making yourself at feel at home can give you some of that advantage. Be socially optimistic. Expect that people will like you and they probably will. Yes, small talk is important.

Attitude

Happiness makes you a better negotiator. Think positive about the negotiation and give others a reason to do so as well. Expecting others to be selfish can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Unless the other guy has few options and you’ll never see him again, being nice is always the way to go.

The Big Guns

Similarity, mimicry and being in sync are all very powerful. Always be thinking about things you have in common. The first thing you should say in a negotiation is something very similar to what the guy on the other side of the table just said. Mimicry is more powerful than you think.

There are solid persuasion lessons to be learned from top telemarketers, great salesmen and FBI hostage negotiators. Make them say “yes yes yes” and they will probably say yes.

Win-win is not always a winning strategy. The key to resisting a convincing sales pitch is to think about money.

Know how to deal with angry people. Know what is proven to work when buying a new car. Know the common pitfalls in negotiations.

Attractive people should negotiate differently than ugly people. Guilting others can work. Subtle reminders of morality are good for keeping people fair. Want to make sure they follow through? Have them write it down.

There is a time – and a proper way – to threaten someone.

Communication

There are many ways to speak more influentially. Understand the best ways to kiss ass. Ass-kissing is good for your health. Using the word “we” can promote an instant feeling of familiarity with someone. There are good techniques for dodging uncomfortable questions in a negotiation.

Learn how to be a better listener. If what you’re saying sounds final people will be more likely to accept it. When you’re a novice, speak confidently. When you’re an expert on a subject, act unsure. Men are easier to persuade via email. With women stick to face-to-face.

Learn about effective posture and body language. If you want to increase the attractiveness of an offer, your body language should be upbeat and sales-y. If you want to reduce resistance, think calm and authoritative.

Trying to seem smart makes you seem stupid. We often prefer eloquence to honesty, sadly. Use rhetorical questions to be more persuasive. And you do want to be more persuasive, don’t you?

Numbers

We can be weird about numbers. Sellers who listed their homes more precisely—say $494,500 as opposed to $500,000—consistently got closer to their asking price. We are irrationally positive toward hearing “100%“. Yes, we like $1.99 more than $2.00 even if we say we know it’s a trick. Know how to anchor because it is ridiculously effective.

Little things

Just remembering the other person’s name makes you more persuasive. Asking someone how they feel, having them verbally respond, and then acknowledging that response, facilitates compliance. Listen to what they have to say and ask them to tell you more.

Touch people. Be funny. Always ask if this is a good time. Let them sleep on it. People will be more likely to agree with you if you make your choice sound like the status quo. Telling stories is powerful in negotiating. “Obscenity at the beginning or end of the speech significantly increased the persuasiveness of the speech.” Emotion is the key to being more credible when complaining.

Name dropping doesn’t work. (Nobody famous told me that.) Obvious and insincere flattery does. Bragging is all about context. Having a third party praise you can influence others – even if that third party is obviously biased.

Sit in the middle to be more influential during a meeting. And repeat yourself. No evidence can sometimes be more persuasive than weak evidence.

What are Jedi level tools of negotiation? Coffee and a cheeseburger.

Practice is key

Not sure if you’re quite ready to put all this into action? Well, “fake it ’til you make it” does work.

]]>https://superseyi.wordpress.com/2015/03/23/your-a-to-z-guide-to-influence-persuasion-and-negotiation/feed/0seyisodimuWHEN YOU’RE LIKING SOMEONE ELSE’S BAE/BOO.https://superseyi.wordpress.com/2015/03/21/when-youre-liking-someone-elses-baeboo/
https://superseyi.wordpress.com/2015/03/21/when-youre-liking-someone-elses-baeboo/#respondSat, 21 Mar 2015 14:08:55 +0000http://superseyi.wordpress.com/?p=121]]>WHAT DO YOU DO when you like someone that is already hooked unto someone else? I’m sure you know exactly what I mean. I doubt there is anyone reading this without such an episode, so lets talk about it.
As a young man, I have noticed that many of us, when we find ourselves in such situation, do either of two things; some will swim under the relationSHIP that seems to be standing in their way, use their mouth to make holes under it so that as soon as it begins to sink, this person they’re eyeing can jump ship to them. Some others are not that ruthless, they just stick around forming friends, with their hands under the relationSHIP, hoping it wrecks so that as soon as it does, they can make the catch.
Now you might want to ask, what is wrong with that? But the real question is, would you be happy if it was your partner that is being hunted that way? Luke 6:31 says – Do to others what you would want them to do to you[NCV]. As God’s children, our motives are always very important in all we do.
Personally, I have decided not to play the Jonah in anyone’s relationSHIP. Y’all remember Jonah? It was his presence that was causing problems for everyone else on that ship, and even though he knew, he only told them to throw him out, he didnt decide to jump out himself (I guess you now know what to do to that Jonah in your relationSHIP… #JustSaying).
I believe, that God has more than enough awesome ‘bae/boo’ to go round for everyone and He knows how to get yours to you without you causing anyone else pain. Always remember that the God who sees in secret, knows how to reward each person adequately, either good or bad.
‎
#beGuided‎

God Bless You!

*Edited by MrSuperSeyi (Original Author Unknown)
‎

]]>https://superseyi.wordpress.com/2015/03/21/when-youre-liking-someone-elses-baeboo/feed/0seyisodimu7 OBVIOUS SIGNS YOU’RE HANGING WITH THE WRONG FRIENDShttps://superseyi.wordpress.com/2015/01/10/7-obvious-signs-youre-hanging-with-the-wrong-friends/
https://superseyi.wordpress.com/2015/01/10/7-obvious-signs-youre-hanging-with-the-wrong-friends/#respondSat, 10 Jan 2015 17:21:57 +0000http://superseyi.wordpress.com/?p=116]]>It’s pretty much a given that being in the right crowd can make or break your life, as in the amount of happiness you feel, the amount of inspiration you get and the number of achievements you make.

That is why many people advocate the idea of being in a positive environment and being with the right friends. But it can be hard though. Sometimes we don’t want to let go. We keep making up excuses for both ourselves and others. Other times, we’re blind to the fact that we’re in bad company.

Do yourself a favour and just drop the toxic friends. They’re anchors. You’ll be better off without them, plus you can easily make new friends.

1) They make money an issue

They borrow, but never return on time, if at all. They miraculously disappear all the time whenever the bill arrives. They have a job, but somehow try to make you pay for stuff. If money largely contributes to the doubt you feel in your friendships, then it’s honestly pretty clear they aren’t good friends. They’re only looking at you as a wallet. Nothing more, nothing less. Stick with a group who support each other, financially and other ways.

2) They never follow up with what they say they’d do for you

In other words, they’re full of crap. Talk is so cheap that they’re willing to continuously spend on empty words to make you happy. It’s taking action and keeping to your word that makes for real character. A real friend will never leave you hanging for nothing. You don’t need a friend who constantly takes you for granted like that. You are worth way more than mere words. It’s cheap talk that actually drags you down (since they normally sound so assuring and comforting.) So don’t think that you even need to validate yourself with such talk.

3) They’re always too busy for you

To put it straight, busy is bullsh!t. Everybody is busy today. If you want to make time for something or someone, you’ll make that time. No matter what. If a friend is constantly too busy for you, perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate that relationship, especially when you’ve put in the effort to make time for them. It’s better to be with friends who’re willing to be in your presence just for the sake of it. That’s real friendship. These are the real guys who will always be there for you.

4) They don’t care about your struggles, only what your success can give them

Ever had friends who’re always so quick to say things like, “Wow you made so much money? Haha so I guess drinks are on you!” It may sound harmless enough, but think about it: How much do these friends really care about your journey to success? How much do they care about how much you’ve grown through your struggles and challenges? If they clearly don’t care at all, they’re never going to be there for you when you’re in need of help. A true friend not only would have been there for you, they’d would be proud to see how far you’ve come. Besides, friendship is about knowing each other for who they truly are, not what they are on the surface in terms of status, amount of money one has or how big his or her house is.

5) They constantly pry on you so they can compare

“How big is your salary?” “How long do you last in bed?” “Oh I bet I scored higher marks in my SATs. What did you score?” As rude as these questions are, the wrong friends have no gripe in asking them. They don’t care if they make you uncomfortable or not. And guess what? They don’t care for the answers either. They just want to compare in hopes of being better than you. And when they feel they aren’t better, they’ll just ask more annoying questions. A real friend wouldn’t intentionally make each other uncomfortable. They don’t compare either. They’re only happy for each other. You shouldn’t have to put up with anything else.

6) They indulge and feed on drama

This is when they constantly gossip and backstab each other. The Whatsapp group has open, online fights. Their Facebook statuses are bitchy and always negative. You’ll be surprised how drama can negatively impact your life. It’s tiring, draining and very disillusioning. It makes you question whether they’d turn the drama on you one day or whether they’re already talking behind your back. Real friends are mature. They’ll all grow together and settle things like adults. Your life never needs extra drama, so stay far from them.

7) You question the change in your life because of them

If you ever need to start questioning yourself, your lifestyle and your life because of your friends, they’re the wrong friends. True and great friendships will elevate you. They’ll make you so happy and inspired that you’d actually wonder, and even fear how your life would turn out without them. So don’t kid yourself. Don’t lie to yourself. You know how you feel. The questions aren’t even going to solve anything. Drop the anchors. Dump the toxic friends. Move on and find better friends. Your life will be better that way. You’ll gain more success too.

]]>https://superseyi.wordpress.com/2015/01/10/7-obvious-signs-youre-hanging-with-the-wrong-friends/feed/0seyisodimuTHE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE BOY YOU DATE AND THE MAN YOU MARRYhttps://superseyi.wordpress.com/2014/08/07/the-difference-between-the-boy-you-date-and-the-man-you-marry/
https://superseyi.wordpress.com/2014/08/07/the-difference-between-the-boy-you-date-and-the-man-you-marry/#respondThu, 07 Aug 2014 15:14:07 +0000http://superseyi.wordpress.com/?p=108]]>When you’re dating a guy, it’s easy to think he’s perfect. You’re in a love haze, so be careful because there are definite differences between the boy you date and the man you marry. It’s true that people can change, so don’t ditch a guy just because he seems like a slacker at first. It’s okay to give him a chance to prove himself. However, if you don’t eventually see some of these characteristics, don’t be afraid to dump him and move on to someone new. If you’re young and having fun at this point in your life, it’s okay to date around and have flings, but before long you’re going to want to settle down, so make sure you do it with a quality man like me Femi, not an immature boy.

1. The boy you date…
asks you to “hang out,” which involves less commitment than a date. He wants to have fun with no strings attached.

The man you marry…
asks you out on dates and is clear about his intentions with you. He wants to be with you and wants you to know where you’re headed.

2. The boy you date…
talks with you about people you know from your past, or pokes fun at that guy at the bar, or only shares funny stories because he can’t connect on a deeper level.

The man you marry…
can hold a conversation with you about books, movies, music, and other common interests. This makes for a more substantial relationship in the long run.

3. The boy you date…
will say he never wants to get married or have kids, and nothing will change his mind. Don’t try–this is a red flag that he’s not Mr. Right!

The man you marry…
might change his mind about wanting to marry and have kids after he’s met you.

4. The boy you date…
hears your attitude, takes it personally, and starts firing it right back at you until it spirals into a major fight.

The man you marry…
can handle your attitude and talk you down from a ledge. This is especially important when you have major life crises or a bad day at work.

5. The boy you date…
calls you mean and immature names to make himself feel like a winner.

The man you marry…
fights fairly. He doesn’t call you names or use physical force, no matter how angry he gets.

6. The boy you date…
cares too much about looks, and will tease you for looking sloppy until you fix yourself back up to his standards.

The man you marry…
understands that everyone has good and bad days as far as looks go, and won’t hurt your feelings or love you less if your weight fluctuates or you have a bad hair day or forget to shave for awhile.

7. The boy you date…
will say “I’m sorry” because he just wants you to cheer up or stop nagging him. He says “I love you” because he doesn’t want to lose you, even though he doesn’t really feel the meaning of the words.

The man you marry…
will say “I’m sorry” because he honestly is, and he never meant to hurt you with his words or actions. He says “I love you” because he truly means it, and wants you to feel that love every minute of your life.

8. The boy you date…
will expect to have things done for him because that’s what his mom did, and that’s what other girls have done for him, and he doesn’t have to take care of himself.

The man you marry…
will know how to take care of himself: how to cook, clean, do laundry, pay bills, and more–because he’s already a man. It’s important for people to have this figured out before they’re ready to marry, which is a great way to tell what type your guy is.

9. The boy you date…
doesn’t want to meet your friends because he just wants to be alone with you all of the time.

The man you marry…
wants to hear stories about your friends until he can meet them and get to know them himself.

10. The boy you date…
well, you’re too embarrassed to take him to meet your parents, not that he’d ever bring it up himself.

The man you marry…
wants to meet your parents, and impresses them when he does.

11. The boy you date…
is always the one you fantasize about marrying, because he’s cute and all you do is have fun together (until the first big blow-up…).

The man you marry…
is never a sure thing. You hem and haw over if he’s right, if you should settle down with him, if your relationship can make it long term.

12. The boy you date…
doesn’t listen to you or fully engage in conversations. He nods while you talk, then changes the subject or just tells you what you want to hear.

The man you marry…
cares about what you have to say. He wants to know your thoughts and opinions on anything from major issues to tiny moments from your day.

13. The boy you date…
runs at the first sign of trouble because it’s too much drama for him, and he doesn’t want anything tying him down.

The man you marry…
sticks with you through tough times because he’s committed to you and the relationship, and wants to see it through to the end.

14. The boy you date…
doesn’t reach for the check, and huffs if you ask him to split the bill with you.

The man you marry…
pays when he takes you out, even after you grab the check and insist five times that it’s your turn to pay.

15. The boy you date…
never gives you security. You don’t know how he feels or what he’s up to when he’s not with you, and your friends might even have money riding on how long you’ll last.

The man you marry…
will make you feel secure. You’ll always know he loves you, you’ll be able to trust him, and you’ll know that you two can make it through anything.

]]>https://superseyi.wordpress.com/2014/08/07/the-difference-between-the-boy-you-date-and-the-man-you-marry/feed/0seyisodimu20 QUALITIES OF A GENTLEMAN.https://superseyi.wordpress.com/2014/08/06/20-qualities-of-a-gentleman/
https://superseyi.wordpress.com/2014/08/06/20-qualities-of-a-gentleman/#respondWed, 06 Aug 2014 16:01:02 +0000http://superseyi.wordpress.com/?p=106]]>Gentlemen still exist, today, although they may appear slightly different.

The “old school” gentleman, who pulled out chairs and opened up car doors, has since been replaced with the “modern” gentleman, who can maintain a stimulating conversation outside the realms of Twitter, Facebook and BBM.

Given the social norms of today’s society, being a gentleman will prove itself to be quite difficult – but not impossible.

Just because certain behaviors aren’t considered “cool” or “popular” by mainstream standards doesn’t mean they’re correct by societal standards. Being a gentleman is timeless, and mainstream trends will phase in and out. Notice this, and focus on the long-term.

While being in your 20s and carefree may discourage all intentions of acting “gentlemanlike” – recognize the longevity of certain good habits. These will never “go out of style,” and are telltale signs of maturity.

Everyone can be a gentleman. That title is earned, it’s not something you’re born into. Here are 20 things every prospective gentleman should strive to do:

1. He refers to women by their given first names – Mom gave her that name for a reason, use it. In many cases, it will be extremely disrespectful to call a girl anything besides her given name, and generic (typically profane) slurs are only a clear sign of your own ignorance. A gentleman should be deliberate in regard to how he addresses a lady, and first names will leave minimal room for error.
2. If he can spare it, he spends it – While paying for your female date is no longer an expectation in today’s society, especially on first dates, unless you’re falling on really hard financial times, it’s a good look to at least offer.

3. He says “I’m sorry” – Having the capability to say, “I’m sorry,” is one of the most overlooked qualities in both men and women. Apologies require a great deal of strength, and the human ego will make matters personally challenging. Part of becoming a gentleman is realizing that the man who can admit when he is wrong is no weaker than the man who never backs down.

4. He stands behind an unwavering set values – Standing behind a set of values, and believing in something, displays loyalty in a man. True gentlemen will follow a moral code, with others’ best interests in mind. Upholding certain values will prove to others that you’re in no position to be walked over, and that you will fight for what you believe in.

5. He always holds the door open – It’s such a little gesture that goes such a long way. I understand these types of things may seem “ancient” in the year 2014, there’s still a degree of charm that comes along with them.
The “modern gentleman” should not abandon the “old school” tools of the trade.

6. He compliments people – Complimenting people around you is a direct reflection upon yourself. It shows others that you are not too self-absorbed to take an interest in them, and it also shows kindness. While random acts of kindness may go unnoticed by some, to others, they might mean more than you could imagine.

7. He’s well-groomed – Comb your hair, brush your teeth, shave your face. Maintaining small, good grooming habits will speak volumes about you as a person. If you can’t manage to keep your appearance neat and orderly, how can you expect others to believe your life is any more neat and orderly?

8. He always smells good, not just for the ladies, but also for himself – By simply smelling good, you will attract far more people than the alternative.
It’s a subtle aspect of your appearance that bears far deeper social implications. Find a brand or designer that you really like, and let that become “your smell.”

9. He keeps a good posture – This isn’t the back of middle school algebra class, and your company isn’t some boring teacher. Sit up straight, with your chest out, shoulders back and demand the attention of every set of eyes in the room. Whether it be just you and your date or a room full of prospective clients. Gentlemen will have a strong backbone, and I’m referring to their character.

10. He’s patient – Children are fidgety and anxious. Gentlemen are cool and patient. Whether it be en route to dinner with a new girl, and stuck in traffic, or handling matters of business – a gentleman will always wait situations out until they’re most advantageous to act upon.

11. He maintains self-control – Gentlemen will always be in control of themselves. When other people, or things, take the wheel and steer, – with regard to life choices and specific habits – it is only a matter of time before you find yourself spinning out of control. The modern gentleman will not fear experimenting with things, and indulging in certain things, as long as he maintains control and stays within the lanes of his respective road.

12. He always listens, first – Trust me. Everyone’s got something to say. It’s a much rarer commodity finding someone who will listen. Being a gentleman is not about constantly speaking your mind, but knowing when to speak, and, most importantly, when to shut up and listen.

13. He’s smart with his money – Gentlemen don’t live and die by receipts or bar tabs. Being fiscally responsible is a life lesson, and being fiscally irresponsible is one you will most likely learn the morning after. Being a gentleman doesn’t mean buying every attractive girl you see walk past the bar a glass of wine to show off what’s in your wallet. True gentlemen will strive to find the right girl – and then start saving up to buy the entire vineyard.

14. He’s always on time – Being punctual displays reliability. A sense of responsibility will often supplement those who value the importance of time, and meeting appointments. If you’re on time with regards to the smaller things, others will know they can depend on you when it comes to larger issues. Gentlemen will know that being five minutes early is too late.

15. He asks questions and doesn’t speak about himself – Showing an interest in others is refreshing. A gentleman will look to inquire about those around him, especially a date, rather than preaching about himself. Asking questions will show a genuine curiosity in someone, the opposite of apathy. Gentlemen will look to keep their dates engaged, and speaking, as opposed to taking the risk of talking too much.

16. He’s always respectful – Being a gentleman doesn’t mean being a “yes man.” It doesn’t mean seeing eye-to-eye with everyone you meet, and it certainly doesn’t mean being a kiss ass. What it does mean, however, is that you will always uphold a level of respect with all of your associates. Naturally, a date, or girlfriend, is by no means any different.

17. He makes the first move – Don’t leave the fate of any situation in the hands of others. Whether it be starting up a conversation with a girl you’ve never met at an outing, being the first to attempt to reconcile things with a long-term girlfriend, or even pursuing a certain job opening – always take matters into your own hands and make the first move.
18. He’s composed – Keep your composure. True gentlemen are always poised. Because when situations become dire, and others start to panic, gentlemen have the ability to provide a beacon of assurance that the people around them can feed off. He is cool, calm and collected. In the words of Ernest Hemingway, “Courage is grace under pressure.” Be graceful under pressure.

19. He doesn’t rush out of places – Always try to be the first man in and the last man out, as it displays your intentions to see things through. Whether it be a movie, a sporting event or work, don’t leave until the fat lady has finished singing.

20. He doesn’t finish his food before his date does – Don’t be a pig. If you’re eating with company, or out to dinner with a date, don’t rush through your food like you haven’t eaten in weeks. Especially during the earlier phases of dating, view meals and dinner dates as social events. Scarfing down the steak you order should always be secondary to conducting a stimulating conversation.

]]>https://superseyi.wordpress.com/2014/08/06/20-qualities-of-a-gentleman/feed/0seyisodimuTHE 10 ESSENTIAL HABITS OF HIGHLY PRODUCTIVE PEOPLEhttps://superseyi.wordpress.com/2014/07/10/the-10-essential-habits-of-highly-productive-people/
https://superseyi.wordpress.com/2014/07/10/the-10-essential-habits-of-highly-productive-people/#commentsThu, 10 Jul 2014 07:46:36 +0000http://superseyi.wordpress.com/?p=98]]>People living in the 21st century are lucky. We have all the conveniences brought to us by technology. We can communicate with anyone in the world in a matter of microseconds, we can look up any sort of information that we want with just a click of a button, and we can even work without going to a physical office!

Despite these modern advantages, most of us still suffer from a lack of productivity. The irony here is that we have all these high tech work tools at our fingertips yet we still manage to find ways on how to avoid doing work.

So, do productive people (who get a lot of work done in a day and still have time for hobbies and other enjoyable activities) have a secret that they won’t share with the productivity-challenged?

Well, these people do not really have productivity “secrets,” per se:

They have habits!

Here are some of the common established habits that productive people have:

THE 10 PRODUCTIVITY HABITS

1. Productive people can differentiate “fake” productivity from “real” productivity
Sometimes, we put off doing real work in favor of other non-essential tasks. These tasks might somehow resemble “real” work, and thus give us a false sense of productivity. For example, in lieu of doing important tasks, people might attend useless meetings, sort out emails, and chat with coworkers.
Productive people know that these things do not really constitute work and know how to avoid them.

2. Productive people know when to let go of the non-essentials
Should sorting out emails take up an hour of your valuable work time?
Do you really need to edit this document five times before you send it to your client?
Sometimes, we do non-essential tasks by dint of habit. We need to learn how to let them go. It’s either we get rid of them or allocate them to others.

3. Productive people do not multitask
…or avoid it, especially if they don’t need to. Multitasking is the bane of our generation.
The brain is just not wired to juggle multiple things all at the same. Tasks are meant to be completed one at a time for maximum efficiency.

4. Productive people know how to schedule their work “blocks.”
Most of us are early-risers, with most of our productive time scheduled during the daytime, while some are night owls.
Productive people know how to sync their work blocks around these times of productivity

5. Productive people power through boredom
Persistence pays off in the long run. This is what separates productive people from the unproductive ones.
Suffering from writer’s block? Well, it doesn’t exist. You need to write something down on paper NOW even if you’re bored and don’t feel like it.
Persistence, not procrastination, is the reason why things get done.

6. Productive people know when to unplug
Yes, too much technology is bad for you. Being connected 24/7 has its perks, but its really not good for a person’s overall mental health and well-being.
Meditate, commune with nature, or just take a little bit of time off from your computer- all of these can really help you increase productivity and jumpstart your way to success.

7. Productive people have regular sleeping habits
Lack of sleep does not equate to productivity. Your eyebags is not a sign that you’re a hardworking person, it just means that you have poor sleeping habits.
Regular sleep (six to eight hours per day, on a constant schedule) has long been scientifically proven to increase productivity.
8. Productive people workout
Going to the gym or exercising is always a win-win situation for all.
Not only does physical activity release endorphins (“feel good” hormones that can alleviate stress and keeps us happy throughout the day) it also helps us stay in tiptop shape, and contributes to good sleeping habits. And you don’t even have to do backbreaking high intensity either. Even thirty minutes of cardio (walking, running, biking) will go a long way.

9. Productive people reward themselves
“All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy” as the famous saying goes.
Reward serves as incentives for productive work. It pushes us, and drives us to finish tasks.

10. Productive people know how to allocate breaks
Breaks are essential for a productive lifestyle. Our bodies and brains are just not meant to work non-stop, so breaks are there to keep us refreshed.
Some people need longish breaks after long work blocks, while some can make do with short breaks interspersed throughout the day.

–Joel Brown

]]>https://superseyi.wordpress.com/2014/07/10/the-10-essential-habits-of-highly-productive-people/feed/1seyisodimuHow Children View Success & What We Can Learn From Themhttps://superseyi.wordpress.com/2014/07/10/how-children-view-success-what-we-can-learn-from-them/
https://superseyi.wordpress.com/2014/07/10/how-children-view-success-what-we-can-learn-from-them/#respondThu, 10 Jul 2014 07:44:09 +0000http://superseyi.wordpress.com/?p=79]]>There are some great companies who have incorporated play areas for their innovation teams. The idea behind this is to move an adult out of their regimented, structured way of thinking and put them in a child’s environment where there are no limits on what he or she can think or do. The adult might get in touch with their ‘inner child’ and gain a different perspective that may be the potential catalyst for new innovations. To understand the method behind the ‘madness‘ of corporate play rooms to stimulate creative thinking, consider how children think and how boundless their minds are.

Google, Facebook and almost all the companies in the world that are known for innovation encourage their employees to take some time to play, take naps or even have recess in an area equipped with appropriate toys.

Judging by what these companies have been able to do and how they have grown, this is a strategy that works.

So how do children view success? And what can we learn from them.

Read on to find out.

What Everyone Can Learn From A Child’s View on Success

What’s wrong with the way adults view the world

Adults behave the way they do because they have to please society and perpetuate certain beliefs in order to be deemed worthy of being of the status they might occupy in their workplace, community and family.

A child’s wide view has no judgments of good or bad. Labels are put on by society and imprints of trauma are created when children seek to make sense of things that happen to them.

What is it that we lose when we grow up?

Certain behaviors should be unlearned as we age. Some of these behaviours should be done away with anyway like bed wetting; however, there are certain traits that we should keep with age like limitless imagination and spontaneity. It doesn’t take much for a child to be happy and it is not that far-fetched to assume that it’s possible to be anything you wish when you grow up.

A child’s brain is very flexible, they can change their minds easily. They are curious and will want to explore the boundaries that adults create for them. However, as children grow up they get to a point where they have to define who they are and will hone in on things that they feel are relevant. When this happens, no one is aware that the great number of possibilities that exists is decreased, by choice.

To be a successful person you need to be able to zone in on the things that are relevant to you and exploit them, but there is always a limit which requires you to have an explorative mind as well that allows you to stop and step out of what the accepted definition of who you want to be and the goals you have really is.

As some motivational speakers like to say, “you are the author of your own life”, and this process starts with your childhood dreams and the journey you had to take to transition. Your mind may not be able to turn back time but you can definitely change your attitude and outlook on life to get an ending that is more to your liking.

”If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in.”

Getting a fresh perspective and daring to go outside convention

Companies who have adopted creative play rooms rely on innovative thinking but adults always have rules that they want to follow, they don’t colour outside the lines. Children might be presented with a drawing of an elephant and told to paint the elephant, very few, if any, will paint the elephant in the exact way a real elephant looks, some may even paint the elephant pink, or green because of a fixation with everything they paint is pink, sometimes there are spots on tigers and stripes sometimes on an elephant even when we all know that it can never happen.

To encourage and boost a child’s confidence, and help him or her to grow up being sure of how worthy they are, children need a fresh perspective. A fresh pair of eyes stretches the horizon and suddenly, you will find yourself thinking thoughts asking the question “what if?”.

What else can we learn from the way children view the world

If you were a product, a good analogy of the difference between the younger version of yourself and who you are as an adult now is to consider your childhood as the research and development phase. A lot can go wrong, most of the time the problems are introduced by the parents and the system where this product is being developed. We all know that at the end of the day, we are products of our childhood circumstances (good or bad), some of us come out better than others but we all have the ability to improve ourselves if we can look back and figure out what elements we missed out on.

It is never to late to reclaim the positive elements and add the naïve childishness with the wisdom and experience of age.

Well, as humans we are constantly driven by underlying habits, and it’s almost like we are running on auto-pilot most of the time. Understanding this may mean that the key to positive change is to warp these habits or maybe even replace them with better ones for good.

One thing I’ve learned up to this point in life is that the mind has a memory. And its realy smart; it “subconsciously” recognizes patterns. Once the patterns become a habit, it’s hard to stop. It requires extra mental strength to break the habit.

“Starting from small, it becomes big.”

Starting with white lies, repeatedly, you become a compulsive liar.
Starting with shoplifting a lipstick, repeatedly, you become a thief.
Starting with faking documents, repeatedly, you can become a white collar criminal.
Starting with being dishonest, repeatedly, you become a cheater.

At the same time…

1) Starting with exercising at least 3 times a week, repeatedly, you become fit.

2) Starting with eating healthy everyday, repeatedly, you become well and healthy.

3) Starting with walking with your back straight, repeatedly, you have an elegant posture.

4) Starting with smiling and being positive, you become a happy person to be around inside and out and attract people with the same energy to you.

5) Starting with giving unused clothes and loose change to the homeless, repeatedly, you become empathetic and giving.

6) Starting with sharing things with others, repeatedly, you become generous.

7) Starting with only doing things that align with your core values, repeatedly, you are a person of meaningful values.

8) Starting with reading, repeatedly, you become addicted to learning.

9) Starting with making sure you get what you need done for the day, repeatedly, you are always on top of everything.

10) Starting with being focused, each task at a time, repeatedly, you can easily get into the flow and be productive.

11) Starting with thinking outside the box, repeatedly, you become extremely creative.

12) Starting with getting out of your comfort zone, repeatedly, you become confident and fearless.

13) Starting with telling yourself what you want to achieve in life, repeatedly, you will get there.

14) Starting with just getting it started, repeatedly, anything you want to be and do, you can be and do.

]]>https://superseyi.wordpress.com/2014/07/10/how-to-manipulate-your-mind-for-success/feed/0seyisodimuLIKE ALL THE YEARS BEFORE …https://superseyi.wordpress.com/2014/06/19/like-all-the-years-before/
https://superseyi.wordpress.com/2014/06/19/like-all-the-years-before/#respondThu, 19 Jun 2014 10:46:01 +0000http://superseyi.wordpress.com/?p=77]]>American comedian Jack Benny arranged to have a single red rose sent to his wife,
Mary Livingston, every day after he passed away…

“Roses for Rose”

Red roses were her favorites; her name was also Rose, and every year her husband sent them tied with pretty bows. The year he died the roses were delivered to her door, The card said “Be My Valentine” like all the years before.

Each year he sent her roses and the note would always say, “I love you even more this year than last year on this day, My love for you will always grow with every passing year,” She knew this was the last time that the roses would appear. She thought he ordered roses in advance before this day, Her loving husband did not know that he would pass away. He always liked to do things early way before the time, Then if he got too busy everything would work out fine.

She trimmed the stems and placed them in a very special vase, Then sat the vase beside the portrait of his smiling face. She would sit for hours in her husband’s favorite chair,
While staring at his picture and the roses sitting there.

A year went by and it was hard to live without her mate, With loneliness and solitude that had become her fate. Then the very hour as on Valentines before, The doorbell rang and there were roses sitting by her door. She brought the roses in and then just looked at them in shock, Then went to get the telephone to call the florist shop.
The owner answered and she asked him if he would explain, Why would someone do this to her causing her such pain?

“I know your husband passed away more than a year ago,” The owner said, “I knew you’d call and you would want to know.”
“The flowers you received today were paid for in advance, Your husband always planned ahead he left nothing to chance.”

“There is a standing order that I have on file down here, And he has paid well in advance you’ll get them every year.”
“There also is another thing that I think you should know, He wrote a special little card he did this years ago.”
“That should ever I find out that he’s no longer here, That’s the card that should be sent to you the following year.”

She thanked him and hung up the phone her tears now flowing hard, Her fingers shaking as she slowly reached to get the card. Inside the card she saw that he had written her a note, Then as she stared in total silence this is what he wrote.

Hello my love I know it’s been a year since I’ve been gone, I hope it hasn’t been too hard for you to overcome. I know it must be lonely and the pain is very rea. For if it was the other way I know how I would feel. The love we shared made everything so beautiful in life, I loved you more than words can say you were the perfect wife.

You were my friend and lover you fulfilled my every need, I know it’s only been a year but please try not to grieve. I want you to be happy even when you shed your tears, That is why the roses will be sent to you for years. When you get these roses think of all the happiness. That we had together and how both of us were blessed.
I have always loved you and I know I always will, But my love you must go on you have some living still.

Please try to find happiness while living out your days, I know it is not easy but I hope you find some ways. The roses will come every year and they will only stop,
When your door’s not answered when the florist stops to knock. He will come five times that day in case you have gone out,
But after his last visit he will know without a doubt, To take the roses to the place where I’ve instructed him, And place the roses where we are together once again.