9113: Windows hath *not* discovered new hardware - I went unto the shops (or the internets) and bought new hardware, then I plugged it in to you, you self-centred smug git of a computer.

"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical and cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." Bill Hicks."One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." Abraham Lincoln"Are you OK?" daftbeaker (<-- very good question, people should ask it more often.)

9111: Thou shalt remember that to forget to include the bacon bits in thy delicious quiche is a grave offense and will lead to much heartache and mild ostracism. Thou shalt then have to promise to never ever forget the bacon bits again.

"There's a hell of a good universe next door, let's go!" e e cummings

"And the new day was a great big fish." Terry Pratchett

"WHAT CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR, IF NOT FOR THE CARE OF THE REAPER MAN?" Terry Pratchett (yes again, I'm afraid. He's my absolute favourite author)

9105: Thou shalt not leave Cadbury's Chocolate Fingers left over from Monkey on my desk when I come back to work after the holidays.

9104: Thou shalt take down the Christmas decorations in the office when thou art supposed to, thou bunch of slackers.

"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical and cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." Bill Hicks."One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." Abraham Lincoln"Are you OK?" daftbeaker (<-- very good question, people should ask it more often.)

9097: Thou shalt not get bored with a split lip from the cold weather and try to peel off the dead skin. Verily, thou shalt end up peeling off live skin as well and spend 10 minutes removing blood from thine chin.

Too old to give up but too young to rest - Pete Townshend

I would rather be a rising ape than a falling angel - Sir Terry Pratchett