Album Review: Cellular Chaos – Cellular Chaos

Cellular Chaos seemed to have appeared out of nowhere; well they didn’t just appear, they burst through your living room wall like the Macho Man Randy Savage, hate-fucked your sofa, punched more holes in the walls, body-slammed your coffee table, clothes-lined your Precious Moments collection off the mantle, snapped into your cat like a Slim Jim and suplexed your TV into the fish tank. I promise you this is one of the best new live bands I have seen in years. Everything explodes right after the first stick count; within seconds Weasel Walter is Lionel Richie-ing it up the walls and ceiling while punishing your ears with bloody guitar wreckage, Ceci Moss (bass) and Marc Edwards (drums) pound away at the disjointed and pulsating rhythm section, and vocalist/visionary maniac Admiral Grey is already two inches from your face singing into your soul before seizing on the ground and tossing her body around without consequence–all without missing a single note or word. When bands play music straight from their hearts, the result is raw, passionate, genuine and in this case, fucked-up rock.

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I was curious as to how this rambunctious live show would translate onto a record and in this case, every nuance of debauchery and pandemonium are alive and well, coming through loud and clear on this elf titled album. Cellular Chaos play their own style of disturbed noise rock meets no-wave. The songs build up steam and structure, collapse on themselves then explode out of a different orifice. It reminds me of a weird combination of Crass meets Battleship meets Pre meets Dog Faced Hermans, and that hardly puts a crack into describing what these guys do.

Aside from touring non-stop, the members off this band are some of the hardest working and sweetest people I know. All the members have multiple projects going on and have made music their lives. I mean come on, Weasel Walter is one of the pioneers of noise rock, aside from playing in countless awesome bands (Lake of Dracula, The Flying Luttenbachers, xbxrx, Hatewave, Behold the Arctopus etc,), he also runs UgExplode Records that has a catalog of many other awesome bands you should listen to. Fans of no-wave/new wave, noise rock, art rock, whatever, need to see this band and own Cellular Chaos.

Rating: 6 out of 6 Doves Prince loved this record so much, that he missed his name being called for his 11th Grammy of the night because he was playing it over and over again in his head. The doves knew to stay out of his way when he got back home. Scariest game of hide and seek at the Prince Mansion ever.