Wednesday, November 14, 2012

It's that time of year! You know, the "i just got used to saying 2012 now i have to change it?" time of year. Singleton dilemma creeping up on you.. the calendar is getting thinner and thinner and you have NOTHING TO WEAR FOR NYE!!! Forget that you don't have plans yet but WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR? Outfit first, date later.

So you start talking with your friends about their plans and of course most of them are married (WE are staying in) or have kids (uhhh, sleeping by 10:30). Hopefully you have that one other singleton friend that you can rely on.

Dilemma #2. You can handle shopping for the outfit, but now your mind is filling with the thought - am I going to be the loser standing in the middle of a smoochfest at midnight? Or, what if it's me and that guy who smells like pepperoni and has applied way to much chapstick. He's in the corner puckering up and reapplying while he scans the crowd. You know that guy... the one at happy hours whose pants are just a wee too tight and a wee too short. He perches on the edge of his bar stool like a vulture on a treebranch waiting for someone (anyone!) to "kick the bucket." And most responses he gets are "over my dead body."

So what if it's not pepperoni tony? What if you see a nice Jason Segal kind of guy and you start reapplying your lipgloss and remember the last time you had a good snog was uh... hmmm... well... OH MY GOD WHAT IF I FORGOT HOW TO SMOOCH??! What if he goes home and starts writing on his blog about the horrible kisser w/ the glitter lipgloss that he can't wash off? Ugh.

Maybe those 10:30 sleepers have the right idea. Now, back to my Christmas shopping. Santa, I'd like one cute Jason Segal please.