Fall from grace

I fell from grace, yes me. Not only did I drastically fall, I fell flat on my face. Undeniably self-absorbed that I could never fall, the concept of grace became more evident to me. How can one know the Lord, fear Him, know the word of God and still fall?‘Now that I have fallen, what do I do now? Do I suffer in silence and pretend I never sinned? Who can I confide in without being judged? Will God really forgive me?’

Not only was my fall an eye opener to the underlying sins I was still dealing with, it made me realize that God has given us His spiritual gifts by grace and not works. If it was by works, I would not be entitled to any. He does not bless us because of our ‘good deeds’. In addition to this, God remains merciful and although we fall short, He does not take the gifts away.

There was a question which I pondered upon, and the Holy Spirit gave me the scripture which elaborated upon it.It feels as if the things I am trying to avoid doing, are very irresistible. Why do I still desire them?

Romans 7:14-20 We know that the Law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do. But what I hate, I do. And if I do what I do not desire, I admit that the Law is good. In that case, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my flesh; for I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do. Instead, I keep on doing the evil I do not want to do. And if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

After falling, I went to the Lord and poured out. I told Him everything and cleared my heart. I had also accepted that if God was never going to forgive me it was okay, as I was not worthy of being forgiven. I was expecting the biggest punishment and was ready to never receive any more blessings from God. But instead, I felt warmth around me, a peace which was indescribable as well as a love that heals a wound instantly. I felt as if God was saying that He already knew I was going to fall, and that it will not change the way He sees me or the course of my life. He promised me that honour and favour would still be my portion, despite all I had done.

The Holy Spirit then took me to the book of 2 Samuel 12:1-25(do read in your spare time). The story narrates about the sinful deeds David committed by sleeping with another man’s wife, impregnating her and then killing her husband (Uriah). However, when the prophet Nathan metaphorically spoke to David about the sins he had committed, David not realizing it was about him. David wanted ‘the sinful man’ to pay for his deeds.

2 Samuel 12:5-6 So David’s anger was greatly aroused against the man, and he said to Nathan, “As the Lord lives, the man who has done this shall surely die! And he shall restore fourfold for the lamb, because he did this thing and because he had no pity.

This shows us that God’s ways are not like mans’ and the way He sees us is not the way we see ourselves. However, David had a repentant heart, and was willing to change.

2 Samuel 13:15 So David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” And Nathan said to David, “The Lord also has put away your sin; you shall not die. However, because by this deed you have given great occasion to the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme, the child also who is born to you shall surely die.” Then Nathan departed to his house.

Not only did God, bless him with another son, He was blessed with Solomon, a king and one of the wisest men to have ever lived.

2 Samuel 13:24-25 Then David comforted Bathsheba his wife, and went in to her and lay with her. So she bore a son, and he called his name Solomon. Now the Lord loved him, and He sent word by the hand of Nathan the prophet: So he called his name Jedidiah, because of the Lord.

In addition to this, Jesus was born into the lineage of David.

What a merciful God we serve indeed!

As long as you are still alive, we are bound to fall in one way or another and can only overcome sin by the grace of God. (Romans 3:10 As it is written: “There is no one righteous, not even one). Nevertheless, the key to victory is how you get up after falling (Proverbs 24:16..for though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again, but the wicked stumble when calamity strikes)

If you are like me and you have fallen from grace, open Your heart to your Father and pour out. Tell Him exactly how you feel and act in genuine repentance. Ask Him to give You the grace to move forward and to live a righteous life. Ask God to deliver you from whatever sin you are dealing with, for Him to uproot the weeds- He is able. God is a merciful Father and loves you unconditionally, all He wants is for His child to return to Him and not to perish.

Do have a look at our youtube teaching ‘falling during your Christian walk’ that goes along side this blog post

Just like you, I fell and I fell hard. I attended a Bible believing church for many years, taught Sunday school, read my Bible, studied my Bible and thought I was just where I needed to be. Oh boy, that is where I got into such a terrible mess. I thought I couldn’t fall. I thought only someone that isn’t a real Christian could fall. Thats when I seen how far I could fall. I was at a breaking point in my life where I couldn’t seen a clear way out. I felt abandoned by God; the reason was because Satan had taken such a strong hold of me that I couldn’t see clearly. I knew I was in trouble but didn’t know how I got there. Now I do. I wanted to get as close to God as possible. I started fasting, reading things about how people had died and what they saw. Let me tell you, that was my BIG mistake. I believed those people. Then I hungered for more and more. I watched Youtube videos about people saying they received prophecies from God and dreams from God and even visions. I wanted to become close to God but I was drifting far far away. I started having my own dreams and visions. I thought I was becoming closer to God. Wow, I wanted to be used of God. Why wouldn’t he use me for his service. I was faithful. Then I thought I was suppose to share those dreams and visions with others. I gained followers that thirsted for the very thing I did. Deep down I knew something was wrong. I prayed nightly for several months for God to reveal if what I was doing was right. I felt God had left me. I couldn’t see strait. Then finally I asked God to show me in a way that I could see the truth. He finally showed me. I don’t want to talk about it but it opened my eyes. Unlike you thought, I felt like God couldn’t forgive me for what I did. I had once known scripture to support his loving grace and forgiveness but Satan had ripped it from me. In a way, I feel like I had to relearn everything I once knew. It took a few more months to feel like I was back in God’s loving arms. I know now he forgave me right away, but I couldn’t see it. Maybe I couldn’t forgive myself. I hope anyone that reads this will understand that God is always waiting with open arms for us to return unto him and turn from any unrighteousness. Read more on my blog: https://godlywitnesses.wordpress.com/2015/05/14/refining-us-into-his-image/

Thank you for sharing your powerful story, we are indeed one body. The enemy tries to keep us bound by making us feel guilty, and we find it hard to accept that therr is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Thanks again and God bless you

This was how God carried me when I had my fall. I had no one to turn to but to Him. I was desperate for Him…and He used that experience to teach me about His grace and our dependency on Him, and given me a ministry that can relate with the struggles of others, rather than sitting in judgement or accusation of them. Sometimes, we can’t be used mightily until we’ve been broken and humbled…then we will give God all the glory and people can relate to us and desire a God has understanding and merciful as ours…