Any time you're in the neighborhood I'd be happy to whip up some
martinis.However, when you said that if you had $150,000 to spend
you'd buy two 928S4s plus a condo somewhere around here, you left
off just one tiny thing you'd need to do that. One more zero. And
then of course, the annual property taxes and maintenance which
would take another 150k per year.
Martinis of course are free.

Gene O'Rourke

3rd July 1999
Subject: Personal attacks

Michael,

I've been meaning to speak to you about your 375 pound, axe-murdering
mother, your room temperature I.O., and your size 2EEEE Nikes.
But seeing as you have already broached the subject, I've decided
not to say anything. Have a nice 4th.

Having replaced a radiator in another 928, I was only too aware
of the outrageous price Porsche charges for an OEM replacement.

My mechanic removed the radiator from the car and took it
someplace in Ft. Lauderdale where they rodded it out and charged
$60.00. He replaced it with a new thermostat and a couple of new
hoses. Total bill to me was, as I recall, about $175.00 for all
parts, labor, and the rodding out charges.

Since then I have put about ten thousand miles on the car and
even on the hottest days here, temps close to 100 degrees in stop
and go freeway traffic with the AC on high, my heat gauge has
never risen above normal. Before you spend all that loot on a new
replacement, check it out, unless there is physical damage to the
radiator.

Gene O'Rourke
87S4

3rd July 1999
Subject: Beer,

BVD,

Your message about beer in Savannah has left me sadder Budweiser.

Gene O'Rourke

3rd July 1999
Subject: 928s as daily drivers

Although I have other cars, I drive my 928 most of the time. I've
made three round trips from South Florida to Santa Cruz CA in two
of them. Three days each way. The only problem I've ever had was
a flat tire because I ran over some junk that fell out of a truck
in front of me. Eleven or twelve hundred mile days don't leave me
with a sore butt or broken back like a whole lot of other cars
would, including Ferraris, Lamborghinis, Jag E-types, and other
so called exotics.

I don't get under them with a toothbrush, and sometimes I go
longer between wax jobs than I should, but I make damned sure
that the mechanical stuff is in as good a shape as anyone can
expect of a 12 year old car with 101,000 miles on it. It doesn't
do me any good looking all shiny and beautiful broken down
alongside the highway in South Overshoe, Montana. As far as I'm
concerned they (all eight of them since 77) are as good a daily
driver as anything if they're well cared for. Why deprive
yourself of the pleasure of driving them if you're worried about
taking them out of sight of your mechanic. If they break they
break. I've seen a lot more RRs and Bentleys on the backs of
flatbeds here in Florida than all the different models of
Porsches combined.

I couldn't agree with you more. Breakfastchargers and
snackchargers are good also, unless someone leaves the cork out
of your lunch and it spills on your Birkenstocks.

Gene O'Rourke

3rd July 1999
Subject: Costs of, and gripes at 928 shortcomings.

Regarding all the messages as to how dependable or undependable
928s are. I think there are several things that elicit many of
the remarks posted recently. To begin with, these are complex,
high performance cars. They're also except for the last few GTS
years, OLD cars. They were absolute state of the art when they
were designed twenty four or five years ago, but that was then
and this is now. The computers in the early 928s such as the LH
unit I replaced in my 87S4 a few months for $1200. could probably
be designed much better and more dependable now for under $100.00.

Many people who buy these cars are young, have an extremely
limited budget, see this beautiful super car they can buy for
less than the price of a new Accord or Camry and buy them, not
realizing that they are high maintenance vehicles. The first time
something goes wrong with the car that costs over a thousand
dollars, (and there are many things that do) they freak out
because their annual living budget has been mauled. The way they
feel is perfectly understandable, but certainly not practical.

You can't keep a thoroughbred racehorse for anywhere near the
annual expense of a bridal trail nag or workhorse. You can't run
off to St. Bart's with Julia Roberts when all you can afford to
do is take Alice Hammenschlager to Disneyworld. If you are a good
mechanic and can do much of the work yourself, you can save some
of the expense, but you still have to buy parts, and these are
complicated machines to work on properly.

I have a two inch thick folder on most of the money I've spent on
my 87S4. Several other folders almost as thick on the other seven
928s I've owned since 77. I haven't the slightest desire to go
through all of that and total up the money I have spent on this
particular car in the past ten years. Until it's 60k major tuneup
the expenses were not any more, or possibly even less, than one
of the better American or Japanese cars. Since then,
approximately five years ago, I have probably spent more keeping
the machine in good shape mechanically than many of you have paid
for your 78s to 86s to begin with.

I don't regret it for a moment, and would, after putting about
300,000 miles on 928s, do it over again in a New York second..
There's no free lunch kiddies. Whether it's cars, boats, planes,
houses in Hawaii or the Carribean, etc. etc. If you want the best,
you pay for it. If you can't afford it, buy a Honda, work hard
and smart, and before you know it you can get the good stuff. I
want all of you to write this down because we're going to have a
quiz in the morning.

Lastly on a different subject. Flaming: I'm not into it, but if I'm
flamed egregiously enough, I respond in kind. If you can't take
it, you shouldn't dish it out. Also, a pet peeve is the people on
this list and others who are ignorant enough and insensitive
enough to think that they have the right to dictate what other
list members say, or think, and tell those they disagree with to
get off the list and disappear. These people are either brain
dead or ignorant beyond belief. This is close minded Bosnia-Herzegovia,
Kosovo, Libya, Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, bullgravy. Further,
if you want to restrict this to a strict nuts and bolts forum,
you should start a new list from Motor Trend, Cab & Driver,
or Mechanics Illustrated.

Gene O'Rourke
87S4 that I can't sell because I've happily spent far more on it
than it's present market value. Eventually I may have it bronzed
and mount it on a big walnut plaque over the fireplace.

4th July 1999
Subject: 928s as daily drivers

Joe,

Glad you feel the same way. I'm getting ready to drive my old
turkey up to New England in a couple of weeks and intend to put
about 4 thousand miles on it in three weeks. It's at my mechanics
right now being checked over. I don't anticipate any problems,
and if I have any, I have an AAA preferred membership that will
tow me 150 miles for free. If the damage is really bad, I'll just
euthanize it with a couple of well aimed 357 magnum slugs.

Have a nice holiday.

Gene

4th July 1999
Subject: John Dunkel's lurking

John,

If you're involved with a bunch of lists as you say, and also as
you say, you spend a good deal of time lurking on this one, you
are either the number one alumnus of Evelyn Woods Speed Reading
Courses or you not lurking, your SKULKING! At the very least,
your lurking with INTENT to skulk Skulking, being by definition,
simply high speed lurking.

I believe that in Califlakia where I lived for many years, that
constitutes at least a second class felony. Better watch out. If
you see a cop on a Harley with sequined sun glasses and Gucci
motorcycle boots behind you, pull over, lie, and tell him/her/or
it, that you're really from Connecticut, Massachusetts, or some
other part of the civilized world where lurking is still a
misdemeanor, and almost everyone can read fast.

Gene O'Rourke

4th July 1999
Subject: Re: reliability

Roger,

Wrong Alice Hammenschlager, I always took mine behind the local K
Mart where there was a big empty dumpster we could use instead of
spending $18.00 at Motel 6.

Geno

> Jeeez, Geno: I TRIED to take Alice Hammenschlager to go to
Disney World, but all she wanted to do was park out in >the
back of the Rite Aid after was closed. She kept muttering
something about what fun she had with Gene there.....
>
> Now I know what she meant.
>
> Roger

4th July 1999
Subject: Radiators

David,

I will be easier if I just give you my mechanics number because I
can't recall all the details. I do remember though that they
pressure tested the radiator both before and after they rodded it
out and there was a big improvement after they had removed all
the calcium deposits, barnacles, and other junk.

Call Igor Wasilewski in Pompano Beach. His company is "National
Auto Projects" and the tel. is: 954-784-3754. My car is
there now having a few minor things done before I drive up north
in a few weeks. Kevin Jones just picked up his car there this
morning. Thinks he might have to get a new LH unit or whatever
they called them on the 84s. But in the meantime Igor got it
running again.

Hope you have a nice holiday.

Gene

5th July 1999
Subject: California's new midwestern location

Roger,

Now I'm really bummed out. All those years I lived in Aptos and
Malibu I never realized that I was sailing and windsurfing in a
damned puddle. The shame of it all! Maybe the next big convulsion
of the San Andreas fault will put the state closer to the real
ocean.

Gene

15th July 1999
Subject: Radar detectors

Regarding Don Hanson's comments on the constitutionality of radar
detectors, I couldn't agree with him more. I think it will take a
massive protest from drivers in those states that ban them before
they will stop their enforcement of a law that is patently
illegal. The internet would be a perfect medium to launch a
petition to be sent to the Governors, Senators, State
Representatives, Departments of Motor Vehicles, etc. demanding,
not pleading, that the law be rescinded. Vincent Soo's comments
cracked me up.
Not paying a ticket and getting a letter from the Virginia DMV
telling him he was no longer welcome in that state. That sounds
almost as serious as being drummed out of the Book of the Month
Club. Imagine the mentality of the dork who thought that one up.
I guess it can be attributed to modern dynamic bureaucracy in
action.

Although I have a good RD I usually keep it in the driver's door
pocket and rarely use it unless I'm in well known heavily speed
trapped areas, which means much of the state. Also we have more
state troopers per mile of interstate highway than any other
state. Something like one for every mile and a third. Wyoming is
number 50 with one for each 250 miles! Here they park five and
six together like wolf packs in the median strip of I-95. When
you pass one of these groups you have a tendency to think that it's
okay to speed up because all the troopers in the area are there.
Five miles down the road you come across another group just like
the last one. It reminds me of the endless stuff on the tube
about African wild life where you see groups of lions watching
huge herds of wildebeests passing by and every now and then a
couple of lionesses take off and nail one. Thats' probably where
they got the idea.

Florida, being flat as a pancake, enables the blue knights to
pick you up sooner than they could in hilly terrain. It was
giving me a false sense of security, and I usually collected two
or three tickets per year. A few of them were made worse by the
trooper noticing the RD. Also, they don't help much if a plane or
chopper clocks you between two known points as they commonly do
here. I finally got the mother of all speeding tickets while
racing a guy in a Corvette on a basically empty highway. We were
both nailed by sheriffs driving a radar equipped unmarked car. At
that time, the 55 mph limit was still in effect. The Vette had
been tailgating me for miles at about 75mph. I moved into the
right lane and waved him by but he came right over and continued
tailgating me. Dumb, but I finally allowed him to goad me into it
and took off. I went up to about 110 or 120 and held it there. He
passed me and gave me the universal single finger salute of
brotherly love. While he was tailgating me I had noticed a little
blue Pontiac behind us but paid no attention to it.

When he shot me the bird, I felt that he badly needed a lesson in
humility, so I let him get several hundred yards ahead,
downshifted to fourth and nailed it. He saw me coming and did the
same. I caught him about a mile down the highway and blew by him
quite briskly. As soon as I got the satisfaction of seeing the
look of shock and horror on his face, I started coasting down. He
passed me again and gave me the second iteration of the previous
salute. Just about then I saw the blue light far behind. By the
time the little blue Pontiac came up behind me I had coasted down
to about eighty. The Vette also saw them and started doing the
same thing. They motioned for me to follow and they then did the
same to him. Two young guys in jeans and T shirts, also large
shiny badges and guns. They collected both our licenses and got
on the radio. In about ten minutes I saw the Vette driver signing
his ticket and as he passed me on the grass shoulder he stopped
for a moment along side me and told me that they had written him
up for 100 mph OVER the speed limit and that with his driving
record could expect at least ten days in jail. His ticket was for
almost $600.00! He took off. Not a happy camper.

I laughed, but it was gallows humor. I expected the electric
chair or at the very least, the chain gang, which this very
progressive state reinstituted several years ago. One of the cops
came back, looked at me and said: "Man, you really blew him
into the weeds!" I didn't say boo. He continued: "Do
you know that you outran our radar! When you passed the other guy
he was doing over 150! You must have been doing at least 180!"
I assured him that the only way my shark could go 180 was if it
fell out of a C-130. Fortunately he had a sense of humor. He
laughed and said: "Okay, we saw that clown tailgating you
for miles. We were just getting ready to stop him when you took
off as we knew you would. If it had been me, I would have also.
We don't blame you for what you did, but you didn't have to do it
in such dramatic fashion! I've been a cop for six years and I've
never seen a car go that fast on a public highway before. Because
of the circumstances we're going to give you a big break and only
write you up for 50 mph over the limit. The other guy is going to
see some jail time. My advice to you is pay the ticket right away
and sign up for driver's school, that will keep the points off
your license and you won't have to worry about losing it."

Thats' exactly what I did. Paid the fine the next morning. Can't
remember the amount, but do remember that it was considerably
more than I paid for my first two cars. Sat through driver's
school for the second time. Stayed off death row, and was forced
to alter my lifelong driving style by speeding only when I really
knew it was cool. That was in 92 or 93. Stashed the RD and have
been ticketed only once since then in Texas by a trooper who
lasered me at 75 in a 65 zone when we were the only two cars in
sight from horizon to horizon. Gave me a long windy lecture
punctuated with lots of snide references to"smartass yankees
who drive fancy German cahs" etc. The ticket was for $85.00,
cheap by Florida or Hawaii standards. But I did the same thing
with it that Vincent did in Virginia. That was five years ago but
I still avoid route 10 between Flatonia and Fort Stockton
whenever I find myself in that part of the country.

Longwinded way of saying after using RDs for many years I still
drive with brio but am more careful about the venue that I do it
in, especially when I pass through Virginia which I usually do a
couple of times each year. This is not meant as a put-down on RDs
by any means. They saved my tail a lot of times, but I still
relied too heavily on them and got enough tickets to ruin some of
the joy of driving not only 928s but all the sports cars I've
owned over the years. Quite probably many of you can resist the
temptation to get a little too heavy footed. I have trouble even
now, but know if my RD was working I'd up my speed accordingly. A
further benefit. My insurance ratesare less than half what they
used to be.

Gene O'Rourke
87S4 5 sp

16th July 1999
Subject: Lone or lead dog

Leonard,

You said it for both of us. I might drive faster than the average
driver but I've managed to drive somewhere in the vicinity of one
and a quarter to one and a half million accident free miles.
Obviously some of it was luck because the best driver in the
world can be sitting at a traffic light waiting for it to change
and have some clown smash into the back of his car. However, one
of the reasons I've managed to avoid shunts is that fact that I
like to stay away from herds of cars whenever it's possible.
If I can't get out in front of a clump of them, I'll fall back a
safe distance until I see an opening large enough to get through
the bunch. Once I do, I'll move out of the left lane in case Dale
Earnhardt is behind me. This is particularly true if I'm on a
bike.
Most drivers don't even see motorcycles, and even if they do,
many of them think that they can occupy the space you're in
simply by moving into it. I can't think of any state that tries
to teach drivers that motorcycles have as much right to occupy a
space on the highway as they do, and further, that a rider has
approximately 30 times the chance of being killed in a highway
speed collision as the driver of the car that hits him or her.

Gene O'Rourke
87 S4 5sp

16th July 1999
Subject: Old motorcycle riders

Peter,

I started riding "Whizzer" bikes when I was fourteen,
then got an Indian Warrior a British 500cc vertical twin that
Indian brought into this country and sold under their name. First
raced on quarter mile dirt tracks in northern Florida when I was
an eighteen year old college freshman. That machine was a BSA 500cc
single cylinder, hard tailed "Gold Star". Hate to admit
it but that was in 1949. Thats odd, it doesn't seem like fifty
years ago! More like only 48 or 49. Won the 7th race I was in.
Knew immediately that I was the greatest flat track rider in the
world. Shortly thereafter, spent six weeks in the St. Augustine
hospital after I found out that wasn't quite true. Wasn't my
fault either. I didn't get hurt when I got off, it was those
other six or seven lousy riders who ran over me.

Gene O'Rourke

16th July 1999
Subject: Radar detectors.

Listen Konecny,

I deeply resemble the snide remarks you made about my
unfamiliarity with innocense. Accordingly, I withdraw my offer to
take you to the prom.
Please return the corsage immediately.

Also, Brian, I'll accept the job but I'm warning you, I get a
full five dollars an hour, net net.

Geno

16th July 1999
Subject: Re: Old motorcycle riders

Ted,

That was pretty much the case for about a year. The broken bones
healed in a couple of months, but the deep bone bruises and torn
ligaments etc. had me hobbling around for a long time. Before I
could walk I'd get my younger brothers to help me get on my bike
to tear around. There was no speed limit on the beach then (hardly
any houses between St. Augustine Beach and Ormond Beach just
north of Daytona. and you could drive wide open from St.
Augustine to Daytona. Just had to get off the beach one time at
the Matanzas inlet. The only danger was from turtles at night and
Seminole attacks. No helmets on the street then. I was okay if I
didn't have to get off because I had enough strength in my legs
to balance the bike at a traffic signal or stop sign but not
enough to walk. The wonderful resiliency and stupidity of youth!

Geno

22nd July 1999
Subject: dash mounted CD players

Simon,

Re: dash mounted CD players. You mentioned that some techie told
you that the angle the unit was mounted in the dash could
possibly interfere with smooth reception. FWIW, I had a top of
the line Alpine unit installed about three years ago.

The CD player works perfectly. Never skips or operates other than
as it should.

Gene O'Rourke
87S4 5sp

22nd July 1999
Subject: Mocha 928s - aka Dungrockets

When I first moved back to the mainland from Hawaii in 88, I was
driving a rental car and needed to buy something in a hurry. Saw
an ad for an 83 Auto equipped, one owner, 18k miles. Bought it.
It was the Dungrocket color. Uglier than 40 miles of bad road.
Also I don't care for any Porsches with Auto. Just my preference.
However, the upside was the fact that the color converted the car
into a "Stealth Rocket" I think that dull color is
invisible to cops. Only kept it for less than a year before I
bought an 87S4, but put about 20 thousand high speed miles on it
and never got stopped here in speedticketsville. So it was ugly.
It still kicked butt, and I never had to spend a dime on it.

Gene O'Rourke
87S4 5 sp

22nd July 1999
Subject: travels in Europe

Paul,

When you said "Take NJ for instance" it reminded me of
a NYC television program that opened showing a pretty girl
standing on one of the piers on the Hudson River with NJ in the
background, singing the show's theme song, "New Jersey Sucks"
anyone else remember that? It was in the 80s, and echoed the
sentiments of many New Yorkers.

Re: driving in Europe and seeing the Lotus Elise: I spent much of
last summer in Ireland and kept seeing these really neat little
roadsters. Hadn't the vaguest idea what they were till a cabbie
in Dublin told me they we MGs! Apparently they've been around
Europe for at least a couple of years. I've never seen anything
about them in the various trades.

Another thing about driving in "The auld sod" I put
over a thousand miles on a little Ford Escort, pretty much
covering the country, and in all those miles, blessedly, I saw a
couple of Land Rovers, one Jeep Cherokee, and not another damned
SUV. Also, not a single pickup truck. The vans I saw were all
commercial vehicles. For one thing none of those monstrosities
fit on most of the Irish roads. Also, at about $4.70 cents a
gallon, it would cost about $100.00 to fill up a Ford Excrescence.
Imagine, an entire country that gets along just fine without any
of the above. It was just so enjoyable to drive without my vision
constantly being blocked by one. It warmed the cockles of my
heart, whatever they are.

Lastly, in all the time I was there I saw one 944 which blew by
me on a typical 12 ft. wide road north of Galway, and a few weeks
later, a couple of 911s in Dublin. Not a single 928. Also no
large American sedans. Lots of Mercedes and Jaguars. What really
surprised me was the amount of French cars. Peugeots, Citroens,
Renaults, etc. They may not sell in this country but they do a
hell of a job in Ireland.

Gene O'Rourke
87S4 5 sp languishing in the farthest dark corner of my mechanic's
garage while he searches for a new AC evaporator.

23rd July 1999
Subject: your message in today's list

David,

Being left handed and slightly dyslexic, your message was the
clearest thing I've read in years!

Geno

25th July 1999
Subject: 84 928 for sale.

Sunday morning July 25.

I've just come from driving an 84 928 for sale in South Palm
Beach. It has sixty two or three thousand original miles on it
and runs perfectly. New tires, brakes good, engine sounds strong,
Under the hood is clean and looks like a much newer car. Brown
leather upholstery in good condition. White. there are a few very
minor blemishes in the paint. At the leading edge of the sun roof
the is a chip approximately 1 1/2 inches long by 3/16ths wide.
Another about the same size on the bottom lip of of the passenger's
side rear quarter window. The fron air dam is broken and needs to
be replaced. When the present owner bought it about six weeks ago,
the shift handle was missing. He paid $250.00 to Porsche for a
new leather one but the plate that surrounds it is missing. The
radio plays well but is mounted slightly askew in the dash. The
windows and seats all work perfectly. The old dude that owns it
has several other cars and is apparently getting ready to go
north for a few months and wants to get rid of it. He said that
he was offered $5400.00 yesterday and turned the guy down. He has
spent a couple of thousand on it for tires, hoses, and other
small items. Bought it from a dealer and doesn't know what has
been done to it in the past other than the fact that the title
says "Original Miles" on it. From the looks of the
engine compartment I'd guess that it's correct. It looks a hell
of a lot newer and cleaner under the hood than my 87 does. The
owner's name is Jerry Shapiro. His phone number is: 561-588-8861.
He lives at 3525 South Ocean Drive in South Palm Beach, FL apt.
103. He says that has will sell it for $5950.00 but not a penny
less, as he already has considerably more than that in it. Anyone
interested can call him directly and just mention that you got it
off the internet. He seems like a reasonable guy, and I believe
the car is a good deal at that price. A few hundred dollars would
replace the air dam, touch up the two paint chips etc. The
mileage is extremely low for an 84 and appears to be correct.

Gene O'Rourke
87S4 5sp

27th July 1999
Subject: 928 mechanic in North Miami Area

Bryan,

National Auto Projects, run by Igor Wasilewski in Pompano Beach
is the best one I've found in that general area. They are at 1224
South Dixie Highway E. about a mile north of Cypress Creek exit
off I-95. Roughly half an hour north of N. Miami.
Phone: 954-784-3754 Their work is good and so are their prices.

Gene O'Rourke
87S4 5 sp

29th July 1999
Subject: Deer me

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow sign?

GOR

29th July 1999
Subject: Gas stations

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone
will clean them?

GOR

30th July 1999
Subject: Santa

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all
the bad girls live. Also where he can buy indestructible timing
belts and water pumps for a buck and a half. (Little Porsche
content there) The last time I saw my S4 it was in all four
corners of my mechanics shop but he says it will be ready
tomorrow evening. Yeah Right! Before they invented drawing boards,
what did they go back to?

GOR

30th July 1999
Subject: Tequila

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

2nd August 1999
Subject: Your snide remarks

Listen Konecny,

Vince and Carole Soo are nice people, so I just gave them the
good stuff. I'm saving the Zerex for you, if they ever allow you
to cross the state line into Geriatricsville.

Geno

4th August 1999
Subject: Church Business

David,

Obviously you have been paying Konecny and Buxton to spy on me
and for that reason I'm elevating you to the rank of Archbishop
of The Church of Zen Paganism for all the wonderful and lucrative
publicity it has received as a result of your message, and the
two weirdos seen skulking around this island in a rusty old Ford
Grenada, The local police wanted to apprehend them for polluting
the islands pristine air but I suggested that they just wait till
the car was back on the mainland looking for the nearest Motel 6,
and then open the bridges while they were having dinner at Wendy's.

Accordingly, to make your promotion official I'm bestowing upon
your somewhat pointed head, the latin phrase used for the
occasion: "De stella Martis vere venisti."

FWIW, I've been driving 928s as long as they've made them. Am on
my ninth personal one and have also bought and sold a couple of
dozen others. If I ever had one with an accurate fuel gauge, I
can't remember. Best thing to do is drive till the low fuel light
comes on and then fill it up within 5 - 35 miles and calculate
your mileage. After a short while you'll know quite accurately
what mileage you can get according to your driving style and
ratio of highway to stop & go driving. Just reset the trip
meter each time you fill it up and ignore the damned gauge. I
haven't run out of gas since I sold my Maxwell. As Ed Ruiz would
say: YMMV.

A few years ago I filled up in Palm Beach and headed for
Charleston SC, a distance on about 540 miles. At the time my 87S4
was in a reasonably good state of tune. I got out on I-95 and set
my cruise control at 78 mph. Traffic was relatively light . I
never stopped, and the only time I had to get off the cruise
control was when I was passing through the Jacksonville area for
about 30 minutes. My low fuel light came on when I was still
about 75 miles from Charleston. Just for the hell of it I decided
to see how far I could drive before I ran out. Approximately
fifty miles later I turned chicken and stopped at a station on
the outskirts of the city. I had driven about 515 miles at the
speed mentioned above. The tank took 21 1/2 gallons. I had
averaged just a hair under 24 mpg at a steady 78 mph.

I don't know how much the system would actually have in it when
the engine stopped, but imagine I could have gone at least
another ten or fifteen miles, but had stretched my luck long
enough to get a fairly accurate idea of the fuel remaining after
the warning light came on. If this particular car is typical, you
should get at least that many miles at normal highway speeds
after the low fuel light comes on. Almost seven hours to the
minute from PB to Charleston. Not bad for a 3500 pound 316 hp
machine at a steady 78mph. The car is now 12 years old, has
almost 102k on it and still averages about 18mpg in all round
city/country driving at speeds just a hair below arrest level.

Gene O'Rourke

22nd August 1999
Subject: HP vs Torque etc. ad nauseum

Having been out of town for several days, I just got through
plowing through five days of the list, most of the content
seemingly concerned with various theories regarding torque versus
horsepower. It all amounts to a powerful reminder of my reasons
for walking away from the engineering profession years ago and
becoming an agent for actors, models, artists, film makers,
photographers, stand-up comics, and other maniacs, The endless
minutiae gave me the first serious headache I've had since Apollo
eleven lifted off a launch pad I helped to design. I never
thought the sucker would get off the ground, and told Werner that
to his face after a four martini lunch in Cocoa Beach.

No offense intended to any of you engineers and physicists, but
wouldn't your time be better spent just driving your sharks by
the seat of your pants and feeling that great surge of power when
you down shift to third at 70 and blow by some clown hogging the
left hand lane in his Lincoln Megamammoth? Who cares whether it's
torque, horsepower, or giant rubber bands unwinding, as long as
the gut and aforementioned derriere shoot signals up your spine
and cause all the "fun synapses" to fire simultaneously?

As Konecny says: "Lets get back to bashing O'Rourke".
Easy for him to say. Living in Utah, he's the only one on the
list that had to buy a DC-3 to stuff all his wives and children
in to attack me and Florida. He'll be surprised when he gets here
and discovers that I've made a pact with the Seminoles, who,
never having signed a treaty with the United States, are an
independent nation, and have been buying SAM-3s from the Iraqis
with money they make daily from their new gambling casinos.

Gene O'Rourke
Focke-Wulf 190

August 24th 1999
Subject: Name dropping

Mark,

I meant Werner Birnbaum, the manager of the Apollo theater in
Harlem.

Geno

25th August 1999
Subject: Windshield damage - sh*t luck

Walt,

Thats what you get for driving one of those seven foot tall
turkeys. If you'd been driving your shark like the good lord
meant you to do, the rock would have passed two feet over your
roof.

Along those same lines, I was driving in light rain along Rte.70
in the mid Florida boonies the other day. Came up behind a semi
doing about 80 mph. A rock that looked about the size of a golf
ball sailed up and smashed into my windshield with a helluva
crack. Sounded like it was broken for sure. Stopped, got out and
looked at it, NO damage! Later when I stopped again for gas I saw
that the wiper on the driver's side was completely mangled. It
literally fell off in my hand when I touched it..
$12.00 for a replacement, and I was on my way. Obviously the same
good lord's way of rewarding me for the exemplary lifestyle I've
always striven for, while punishing you for all the times you've
flamed me in the past few years. Bless you my son.

GOR

26th August 1999
Subject: Flies

Walt,

We're all God's creatures. Ogden Nash once wrote: "God in
his wisdom made he fly, and then forgot to tell us why".

Have a nice vacation and try to avoid those flying boulders.

Geno

26th August 1999
Subject: Re: Inanities

LL,

Can you believe it? This evening I opened the new issue of
Automobile that came in today's mail and was is a new column
entitled "Torque of the Town"! I hate it when someone
steals my ideas before I've even had them! Back to the drawing
board. Along those lines, I wonder what they went back to before
they HAD drawing boards?

Geno

26th August 1999
Subject: Inanities

I'm thinking of starting a column called "Torque of the Town".
It would seem that there would be absolutely no shortage of avid,
even rabid, contributors. There'll be no fees of course other
than a booklet describing the difference between torque and
horsepower done up nicely in heavy parchment with Emu leather
covers that I'll call upon mssrs. Adamson and MacIntyre to
provide from Emuville. Said booklets will be designed to fit
nicely in the driver's side door pocket and reading them will
provide some solace right after the driver gets his ass kicked in
a drag race with one of those ugly vipers.

Gene O'Rourke

27th August 1999
Subject: Re: Re: Inanities

It's easy to understand why so many people have tried to do you
in with all manner of weaponry. The very fact that you survived
must prove that your bone structure and skull thickness prove you
are the last of the true Neanderthals. Also the fact that you
were mistaken for me is quite probably the biggest compliment you've
ever received. I say that of course in all humility.

Geno

27th August 1998
Subject: Torque vs. Horsepower

LL.

Seeing as some blackguard read my thoughts and beat me to "Torque
of the Town", and the seemingly endless subject of torque vs.
horsepower has elicited such a torrent of opinions, and thousands
of words, maybe it would be better to call it "Hoarsepower".

Geno

28th August 1999
Subject: Flying

Having owned a whole gang of airplanes since I learned to fly in
1944, I've decided that it's a lot cheaper, safer, and much more
fun to fly without the damned things, even if its upstairs in a
747 or three hours on a Concorde I especially avoid flying
anywhere in the general vicinity of Utah for fear of being rammed
by Konecny in his Curtis pusher.

Gene O'Rourke

28th August 1999
Subject: My address

J eff,

You can't miss it. Go through east through West Palm Beach, over
the Okeechobee bridge and continue for exactly 37.4 miles and you'll
be in my driveway.

Geno

28th August 1999
Subject: Palm Beach island being invaded by the unwashed masses

Dave,

We'll make an exception on your part seeing as you already live
right up the beach. But you still have to have the kelly green
pants with the little gold dolphins on them.

Geno

28th August 1999
Subject: Re: Re: Inanities

Walt,

Just let me know when you plan to arrive. I think busses would be
more ractical than SUVs. That way we can use one of the big
department store parking lots on a Sunday when they aren't using
it and I can have Arby's, Colonel Sanders KFC, Wendy's, Burger
King, and of course McDonald's, set up tents so there'll be an
abundance of the good food the group has become accustomed to
seeing as most of them have to spend all their spare cash keeping
their sharks running. If you help me set it up I'll kick back one
percent of the action to you, which may buy a new tire for the
tail wheel on your DC-3. Please! no groveling in gratitude or
other disgusting displays of emotion. I'll be happy to do it.

Geno

28th August 1999
Subject: Re: Flying

Ted,

You're extremely observant. The night we had dinner there I didn't
even realize that you had spotted the cleverly concealed
arresting cables faired so smoothly into the floor around the bar.

Geno

28th August 1999
Subject: Re: SUVs in Palm Beach

You know, you might get away with that. But our security guards
make much more than than you say. Some of them get as much as
three dollars an hour, and don't dare to complain because they
all arrived here one hundred and fifty at a time through the surf
in 22 foot boats from points south, and spend much of their time
hiding from the immigration service, little realizing that their
massuhs are just as liable for prison terms as they are. They
also get table scraps, and wonderful opportunities to kiss their
master's signet rings (amongst other things) while genuflecting
before them. This goes a long way toward keeping them happy and
carefree while singing "Dixie", Swanee Ribber, and
"Ole Man Ribber" for the gentility gathered on the
veranda sipping mint juleps in the evening and doing copious
lines of highly refined coke while discussing the latest attack
plans for reopening the war between the states. A sneak attack on
Fort Sumter is a favorite scenario. This time the south will win
because we have many more SUVs and pickup trucks as you wishy
washy wimpy yankees with your Saabs, Volvos, and Birkenstock
sandals.

GOR

28th August 1998
Subject: SUVs in Palm Beach

Sorry to disappoint you Walt & Roger but the only SUVs
allowed on this island are 4.6 Range Rovers. Furthermore you will
be stopped at the bridge and checked to make sure you have the
proper attire including Ferragamo loafers, Cartier watches,
Giogio Armani underwear, and bright kelly green slacks with
little gold dolphins embroidered on them.
Actually no one from either Utah or Maine is allowed on the
island regardless of the above. Also Roger, pertaining to your
latest aberration regarding Ram Chargers, you are obviously
suffering from frost bite of the prefrontal lobes, or possibly
brain damage caused by being stomped on by a rabid moose, and
after conferring with a majority of the other list members
privately I'm sorry to inform you that we have decided that the
only solution is to have you put to sleep. I've already contacted
a veterinarian who will do it cheaply seeing as Dr Kevorkian is
presently indisposed. Please tie up any loose ends in your
business and make out a will if you haven't already done so.

Geno

28th August 1999
Subject: Totally exhausted

Dave,

Ouch!

Geno

28th August 1999
Subject: Weird? Us?

Mark,

Weirdness is it's own reward. A lot of *sensible* drivers out
there think that all 928 freaks are weird anyway, so we might
just as well make them happy thinking how profound their punditry
is. Further, it helps to keep many of the most boring ones away.
Now if we can just find a way to keep them the hell out of the
left hand lane at 40 mph with their left turn signals on we'll be
getting somewhere.

Geno

2nd September 1999
Subject: Mammoth SUV get together at my place.All

I hope all you guys have a helluva good time bringing your SUVs
and pickup trucks here. I'm leaving in a few hours for
Hyannisport, The Vineyard, Boston, NYC, and Connecticut. I'll
leave the door unlocked. I think Walt Konecny's Expedition and
David Robert's M1-A1 tank will make excellent andirons in the
main fireplace to roast hamburgers, and assorted road kill on.
There'll be plenty of fuel, mostly old timing belts, inside rear
quarter panels, and torn upholstery. The beer and booze is in the
pool house in vending machines that take Spanish Doubloons and
Pieces of Eight. If you swim at night watch out for the stray
gators and moccasins that sneak into the pool looking for prey.
Have fun. I'll be back in about ten or twelve days if the good
lord is willing, and I certainly hope she will be.

Gene O'Rourke
The Shark is in the garage hooked up to a 10,000 volt car thief
cremator.

9th September 1999
Subject: 928s on Oahu

Constantine,

I've been out of town for a week, so just saw you query on 928s
on Oahu. FWIW, I lived on Oahu for many years and my very first
928 was a new 78 model that I got there in the fall of 77. There
aren't too many of them there because they are much like using
hydrogen bombs to blow stumps out of the south forty. The freeway
system is roughly fifty miles total and the speed limit on it is
50 mph. Most surface streets are 25 to 35 mph. As much as I love
sharks I found that the most practical cars in the islands, at
least for me, were 5.0 liter Mustang Convertibles. Lots of bang
for the buck, the tops go up and down in seconds and they don't
leak. The suspension systems are archaic but there are very few
places where that will be a problem.

Maui is almost as bad. No freeway at all even though the island
is larger than Oahu. The only island I would consider putting a
928 on is the big island where there are still miles of open road,
and even there the same limits apply. Every cop in Hawaii has a
hand held radar gun and they'll give you a ticket for going 30
mph in a 25 zone.

I also kept a TR-6 convertible there for many years, but with all
the passing sun showers they have it was a pain putting the top
up and down constantly seeing as it took a crew of six men and
four boys to do it and even when it was up it still rained inside
like most of the older British sports cars did.

Gene O'Rourke
87 S4 5 speed

10th September 1999
Subject: Drivin music

Oscar Peterson, Teddy Wilson, Ron Carter, Earl Klugh, Diana Kraal,
Toni Braxton, Randy Crawford, Natalie Imbruglia,Gloria Estefan,
George Benson. But when the blue light is way behind you and you're
trying to make the next off-ramp at Mach .2 nothing can beat
Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries". Last but not least;
"Stark Naked & the Car Thieves" playing "I'm
glad I made you love me cause you made me make you cry".

Gene O'Rourke

9th September 1999
Subject: Haoles

Mark,

Don't know where you got your definitiion of "haole"
from, but originally haole meant "foreignor" or "stranger"
and eventually became the name for any caucasian.

Gene O'Rourke

9th September 1999
Subject: Re: Haoles III

Mark,

You may know the Hawaiian language far better than I do. However,
I lived there off and on for almost forty years and had two long
term relationships with hapahaoles, also studied the language,
much of which I've forgotten in the past few years now that I
spend only a couple of months per year there. But if you look in
a Hawaiian/English Dictionary you'll see:
"Haole" White person, American, Englishman, Caucasian:
formerly, any stranger, foreigner; foreign, introduced of foreign
origin, references in traditional literature are few, but these
have been noted:
He haole nui maka 'alohilohi; a big foreigner with bright eyes (several
other paragraphs alongthe same line) followed by: Aina haole,
foreign land. Olelo haole, European language, especially English.
Ho o haole, to act like a white person, to ape the white people,
or assume airs of superiority, [often said disparagingly,
especially of half whites] , Ho ohaole 'ia Americanized,
Europeanized; to have become like a white person or have adopted
the ways of the white man.

I do know after all those years of living there that all
islanders consider all Caucasians haoles. (sometimes preceded by
less complimentary forewords. We still only make up 25% of the
population. So much for my soul home. I'm not a kamaaina because
I wasn't born there, but feel like one because of all the years I
lived there on Oahu, Maui, and Kauai.
Regards

Geno

15th September 1999
Subject: Arks

Walt,

Me and Gramps didn't need to scrounge up wood for a boat. We
already live on a yellow submarine that we bought from our next
door neighbor Yoko Ono.

Geno

14th September 1999
Subject: Floyd

What a wimpy name for such a huge storm! For those of you who
have showed concern. The tooth fairy has shoved the eye of the
storm a little more northward toward Dave Shaeffer's area at the
Cape. The main danger up there is, I think, winds knocking the
VAB building over or toppling a bird off one of the launch pads.

In the meantime surfing is incredible and if I just hadn't sold
my Hobie Cat I could have sailed it to Georgia in about two hours
and set a new world's record. The surf, which is only a couple of
hundred feet from here is just plain ugly looking. We lost our
cable for a few hours and power for about the same. Both are back
on and the wind outside is a zephyr-like 45 or 50 mph. Supposedly
not higher than 60 - 70 mph before the night is over.

Still strong enough to blow shuffleboard pucks around and knock
over bottles of Geritol. All else is well. However, it's
beginning to look like the shore of South Carolina is in for some
heavy duty stuff. Hope for their sake the northern swing
continues around a little to the east. Charleston got hammered
badly enough by "Hugo" nine or ten years ago to last
any place a lifetime. The Shark is safely ensconced in the garage
away from falling branches and roof tiles. The bars are all
closed so I'll have to mix my own martinis. The hardship of it
all is mind boggling!

Cheers All

Gene O'Rourke

18th September 1999
Subject: belts

John & Erin,

Sounds like you were too cautious. When the wind picked up down
here, I went out and had a couple of belts. Everything worked out
fine. Glad to hear that DR has come to the rescue. How fast were
you going when the belt disintegrated?

From the description of the assorted hardware you must have been
experiencing Mach buffeting.

Cheers

Gene O'Rourke

28th September 1999
Subject: Where are Walt and Geno?

Dave,

Since you went in the hospital Walt, who thinks Pat Buchanan is a
Communist, has been busy converting his DC-3 into a Viet Nam War
type "Spooky" gun ship with side mounted mini Gatling
guns to strafe the Democratic convention with.
I have been spending a lot of time in church praying for his
deliverance. After all, there is a little bit of good in everyone
no matter how deeply it's buried; even Konecny who, rumor has it,
is a direct descendant of Attila the Hun.

Geno

2nd October 1999
Subject: Paul Esposito's remarks re: FDR drive

Paul,

You wrote: "I doubt if you could hit 90 on FDR drive".
Having lived in Manhattan for 20 years, let me assure you that
you can do well over that. Depending of course on the time of day
and the day of the week. I had some biker buddies when I lived
there and we used to race laps of the city starting on FDR drive
at 65th St. south through the Battery Tunnel and up the West Side
Drive to 79th St. then through the 79th St. traverse of the park,
and back to my place on the corner of 62nd & third. We'd hit
speeds considerably faster than 90.

Insanity, I know, but we were all ex racers and none of us were
ever hurt. Never got a ticket in all those years. The average
NYPD black & white would have trouble catching a Nash
Metropolitan. Even if they wanted to, in most cases they didn't.

In one of my lapses from Porsche, I bought a new 81 Turbo Z car
from Georgetown Nissan in CT, The outfit that sponsored Paul
Newman's racing career. My new bride was having trouble shifting
the 911 and wanted an automatic. We'd only had it for a week or
two when one Sunday night we were going south on FDR drive at an
extremely high rate of speed down in the vicinity of the Brooklyn
Bridge. We went around a bend and there in front of us was a
black & white. blue lights flashing, chasing a guy about two
or three hundred yards ahead of him. We didn't have time to slow
down, so we shot by him first, and then passed the guy he was
chasing. We then entered the tunnel and went through it as fast
as anyone ever had. Upon leaving the tunnel I made a screaming U
Turn and headed back into it again. Just as we entered, the other
speeder came out with the cop right on his tail. I blew the horn
and waved as we passed each other at a combined speed of about
160MPH.

All this time my wife sat silently. I thought she was the coolest!
She was actually in shock! we got off the Drive down around Peter
Stuyvesant Town, and motored sedately home up Third Ave. Mind you,
this was a Sunday evening around eleven p.m. and no one lived in
the Wall St. district then, so the streets in Lower Manhattan
were as empty as they ever got. YSMV.