Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Who's Stupid Idea Was This?

I can't believe I'm putting myself through this. At times today I was having the worst time I can remember. Riding along duel carriageways in the pouring rain, getting soaking wet, having to keep up with the instructor, it was like torture. An hour and a half ride in the rain from Brighton back to Hastings. Where's my car? The horrible feeling of loss of tyre grip going 'round a wet roundabout, whether it really is the bike sliding or the tyre getting caught by an uneven road surface.And I hate exams. I get stupidly nervous. No one else told me to do this - I have only myself to blame. However there was a point as we neared home and the sky began to clear, and I listened to the 500cc engine roar, that my spirits lifted and I got a glimmer of understanding.Will I pass my test tomorrow? I really don't know, I guess I have a 50-50 chance, there is so much that is unpredictable, not only my own performance but the traffic, the weather, the examiner. No one else has put pressure on me to pass first time, only myself. Maybe if I allow myself the same as the car test - 3 times - that will take some pressure off. I'm not sure. I'm going to be really disappointed if I do fail. Just the thought of going through all this again is almost too much to take!Plus, after riding all day I'm walking like John Wayne.