Tag: books

Deep With You – Part Three: Bondage

‘A flesh and blood vessel propped up and bent to the point of strain. Clothed only in chains, your spirit held down with the wet and warm weaknesses exposed. What is it to be slave? The highest form of love? Or the empty nothingness of un-reciprocated giving? The truth is, a master resides above both.’

Nine days on.

In the blemish-less, hermetically sealed laboratory of the Trafalgar 7, Dr. Samoy was tirelessly working on her dual objectives. Almost in a trance like state of focus, she manipulates the lifeless organism in her gloved hands. The gloves, a product of Black Tech Industries’ (BTI) work on combining human flesh with synthetic polymers. They allowed her to feel its steaming innards with the clarity of a cannibal’s first plunge into another. There in lay the key question…why was this organism’s cells still producing heat energy post-mortem? As her masterfully agile mind navigated that question, her mobile holocom device beeped twice. It was silver, slender and translucent in design – reminiscent of twenty first century phones. It began to glow red, this was the colour she’d assigned to the person messaging. The notification read: ‘All preparations are set, the Devil has agreed to the trade.’ With attention now split, she left her metallic workstation of ornaments and medical utensils, to discuss with her father an entirely different form of dissection.

Only hours away, across the dark diamond dotted emptiness between ship and destination, the Empress was waiting. Reigning upon The rock amoung rocks, a moon of a planet deceased long ago from molten cancer. A small section of a larger inhospitable solar system, home to three war ravaged planets. Space here somehow seemed heavier, like the souls of the dead added substance to it. The fragmented corpses of human and sentient beings, floated within this eternal black milk, cold and forgotten for another day. However, all days in this system of the damned, belonged to her – Empress of Slaver’s Moon, Maureen Of The Devils Melancholia.

Deep within her moon, a castle built of excavated pearl coloured marbel surroundings – this moon cavernous only in density. Inside that, an offensively decadent room she called ‘The Womb’, was where she sat. An ash grey throne against one of it’s four red and gold walls, facing inwards. Two slender humanoid beings; lavishly dressed in embroided robes that left only their LED red eyes visible, guarding left and right sides, as she considered all she owned. Which, in this chamber was twelve – mostly human males, with several others fitting neither category. All who chose to place clothes upon their person were sweating profusely; those without still gleamed with the latent moisture of effort. This was why the Empress referred to it as The Womb. It was designed to be hot and moist at all times, a place to gestate her sexual perversions.

The way she was created: outwardly a vision of a gentle women, full, satisfied and aged from years of mothering, was a cruel fable. Inside she was barren, the organs present, but just desert scape from birth – the entrance synthetically sealed. The rumours floating the halls of this vast sanctuary were that she was a fallen android from the AI revolution on Earth One. The final model of those built for repopulation protocol 6. Now powerful, twisted and bent towards owning what she could never experience – Life and Sex. In front of ‘her’ were individuals of different age, sex and species; suffering various forms post traumatic stress disorder, and all engaging in various duties at the Empresses’ behest. Some, preparing her next meal of the finest imported organisms; other’s cleaning the floors beneath the subtlety swaying sexual contraptions above – occasionally, they dripped something warm. The remainder, haunted by their own memories, would cower in corners hoping for reprieve.

As she watched them perspire and trickle from mid back to the curvature of their bruised cheeks, she reminisced back to moments immaculately stored on her cerebral hard drive. One, of a caucasian human male in his twenties; strong, supple, and bound naked to an ergonomic table. Limbs, spread star-shaped and restrained by old red ropes that had eaten away the flesh on his wrists and ankles. She remembered the look of blood vessel sprawling, red-eyed exasperation on his face, as she commanded the male Hylian from a distant galaxy – ashen with the strength of two men – to masturbate him without mercy, continuing forcefully through multiple cycles of erection, discharge, and recuperation. He had endured this for three cycles already. The lubrication required was running low, the time needed to stroke him out of flaccidity – extending painfully. His defiant moans were becoming screams of derision. The Hylian, lacking in empathy, continued the cruelty, even as the man’s pride lay pathetically limp in his unforgiving and coarse grip. She had her favourite moments within this ballet of hollowing extraction; the image of the man’s sweat drench abdominals convulsing viciously after each ejaculation, or the tears that inevitably flowed from the eyes of the hopelessly tortured, as reproductive organs moved aimlessly inside their wrinkled sack in search of the impossible. However, beyond the sights was the most important thing, the smell. The sad scent of his humiliation; the combined perfume of his body odor and ejaculate trickling slowly off the stained hands of his alien abuser. All of which, accentuated with the note of ripe vaginal fluid, still moist in his pubic hairs from a previous un-consented ordeal. The Devils Melancholia lived for this, her senses augmented beyond human limits, created an almost ethereal experience from the visceral scent.

Another treasured memory she replayed at least a few times a day, was the most stomach turning…but probably the most relevant to her twisted and bitter psyche – the sodomy of the Haitian twins. Being the last people of Earth One to become vegan, they’re scent is said to be noticeably different in the nose of an android, tales go as far as to say they carry the flavor of swine in their darkest openings. Empress Maureen owned the last two in the know galaxies, she worked them hard and often.

In a room where darkness was only slightly cleared by blurs of artificial starlight above. Two of her most athletic female guardians; pregnant, and strapped with well-endowed synthetics, approached ominously. High end and ready, the synthetics were oozing a softly illuminating substance from their micro pores. They self-lubricated like carnivorous sexual deviants, and the wielders pointed them towards their meal. The Empress would grin from the edge of the room; robbed, and hooded as her Haitian slaves trembled nauseously. Only restrained from the waist down and bent over a make shift shelf of unknown material, their arms were free to animate fatigued flails for mercy. Even in such a low-lit space, she could perceive it all, the croaked groans of dried throats as each was forcibly spread open and plunged into. Her pregnant warriors, aided by the length of the synthetics could easily stroke pain and guilty pleasure into them. The glowing substance splashed and dripped down their legs. The twins – side by side – scratched at their own thighs in neurotic anticipation of the depth to come. Their pigmentation made the un-violated parts of them almost invisible, but all things in this heat and stench-saturated room, were perceivable to the Devils Melancholia. The devil’s favourite thing? That each synthetic was different in girth. Meaning, every time the bulbous guardians facetiously swapped victim, the twin’s bodies – unable to acclimatize to either, would be reintroduced to that first eye-watering plunge again…and again.

This was, and is the Slavers Moon Anissa and Captain Dryake approached…

-“Thank you Chief.” Dryake responded, while standing pensively in front of the bridge’s Digitised three by three meter window. It was their only view into the outside, and it displayed in HE (Human Eye) definition, the chaos that was this moon’s surface and orbital surroundings. The space around the cracked and rugged terrain of Slavers Moon, looked like a collision of planets and asteroids paused half a second after impact. Drayke was so focused on it, he pulled back his consciousness from the men and women in his charge, staring, and waiting for his orders. Not in all his years serving had he been so conflicted about a mission. Just before his silence alerted the first waking of anxiety in his crew, Anissa slips her hand into his fist and whispers, “My Captain, take hold of your choice like you do me, if it shifts away, bend it towards your heart and it will succumb to you.” Her words, flowed through him like a soft massage, and he felt the freedom that came from release. Drayke, was now able to trust his instincts, and the plan they came up with together amidst their warm slumbers entwined – legs held between blood warm thighs; heads, resting and hearing the slow beat of a heart loved.

-“Land her 1 click from the entrance to the north subterranean levels Chief, the co-ordinates should be on your pod screen now.”

-“Yes Captain.”

The entire ship’s crews began their own particular preparations for landing: The engineers saw to the ships thrusters and lading mechanisms, the medical department made sure all first response healing gels, where fully stocked into the med kit being taken off the ship; and severe trauma operating rooms were prepared for the worst. The mercenaries rehearsed various tactical battle protocols, while cleaning all the grade one weaponry, Anissa’s deep pockets could bestow. Finally, the kitchen crew – consisting predominantly of AI – had a task perfectly suited to an unfeeling computer program, to reassess and adjust on board ration limits in real-time, if and when the total crew number raised of fell.

However, the most meticulous final preparations involved only two individuals, one lost in lust and emotional transference – of the Freudian kind. The other, simply a lost child, looking for validation.

-“Fuck, I didn’t even know I could do that” Blaise said, under the duress of sexual fatigue. She lay exposed on her bed; skin still emitting the chemically induced heat of climax. She was looking up at Dr. Samoy, her face red with emotions she had no time to indulge.

-“ The female reproductive organ is much more versatile than most realise. When you’ve studied it, and the anatomy of all the known species as much as I have, making you eject that volume fluid is child’s play.” She says, while wiping her slim fingers with a near by hand towel.

-“Still, I’m surprised…it’s never happened before, what is it? It feels like I fucking pissed myself. Blaise says embarrassingly, as she reconciles with the large damp patch under her bum and thighs.

-“Technically you did; It’s urine, diluted with a prostatic-specific antigen typically produced in men by the prostate gland. In women it’s produced by the Skene glands. However, in actuality a ‘true female ejaculation,’ is far less exciting. Dr. Samoy’s tone floated between caring and not so – Blaise could never pic up these subtleties.

-“I love it when you talk science Doctor.”

-“Look, we’re landing soon, clean yourself up and change the sheets. Time to focus.”

-“I know, I know… but are you sure it’s going to work?” Blaise said, as she began getting up and tending to the mess.

-“ Of course, how long have I been planning this? We have more than half the ship’s crew behind us too. One way or another I’ll get it done.” Dr. Samoy’s eyes glazing over with a conviction, Blaise still hadn’t recognized as self-serving ambition.

-“And after that, together, we can leave this floating coffin, and run our own facility with Black Tech Industries back on Earth Two. So much was her belief in the web of love and insubordination they had spun, she spoke the words completely on auto pilot. However, behind Blaise’s scuttling and tidying, Dr. Samoy had already left.

Back at the underground castle, the Devil’s Melancholia, not immune to the compulsion for preparation, organised for the crew of the Trafalgar 7s arrival. The subsequent rendezvous, had been organized by the political representatives of both sides half a year in advance. The outcome of which could change the face of the known galaxies, and she prepared accordingly.

A blue-pigmented female of unknown planetary origins, stood up from a muddy grey coloured table of six. Standing over seven-foot tall, with her hair immaculately styled into braids, she was clad in a precious metal and stone armor of practical design. The five other individuals –four female, one male – sat around this table staring at her, each of their armors and physical characteristics were anchored to their galactic origins. She turned towards the throne, and with a stern voice rippling in an alien dialect; she echoed words throughout the vast spaces within ‘The Heart’ – the chamber where all battle strategies were formed. “Empress, your ‘Dead Army’ have been deployed to all the designated positions of favour, and your ‘Slave Escort’ is chained and ready to depart at your malevolent convenience.”

-“Thank you General, has the messenger been sent to the ulterior location?”

-“Yes Empress, he’s scheduled to meet the contact within 15 minutes of their landing.”

-“Good, now let’s go see what the famous Captain Dryake D. Hamilton has to say.”

Meanwhile the landing party of the Trafalgar 7, were preparing to disembark. All five were congregated in the well-lit atmosphere integration chamber, and dressed in the ship’s vintage dark yellow ‘Reinforced Skin’ under armour; it was tight and left little to the imagination. The party of five consisted of: Captain Drayke D. Hamilton, Princess Anissa Ife, Commander James Dean; leader of the ‘Hidden Shield’ Mercenaries, Dr. Jasmine Samoy, and Lead Engineer Blaise Spur. As typical of any off world mission, each individual had to be injected with the translator serum. This extremely expensive serum, consists of preprogrammed microorganisms that attach to selected brain synapses allowing for the translation of all known languages. Dr. Samoy had administered the serum to all four of the five members, including herself. The last person left was Anissa Ife, ever since she was a child she had always been a great judge of character. As Dr. Samoy approached with the petit serum transfer pen in hand – Anissa remembered how little she cared for the Doctor, and her curve-less figure. Dr. Samoy stood close and asked for Anissa’s hand, the light from the atmosphere integration chamber, refracted off it like a blade. The serum transfer pen’s stainless steel appearance was predominately entrapped by her deviously dexterous fingers. Her left hand, held Anissa’s in a grip easily mistaken for something with intimate design, while clasping the transfer pen expertly in the other. She pressed it on her, and looked straight into Anissa Ife’s eyes as the cold pen bit into her skin.

There was an awkward moment of stillness between them both, until Anissa pulled away to console the tingle on her hand. She looked annoyed yet preoccupied with other thoughts. Most likely, those of how she would perform on – without question the most important negotiation of her short political career. As the princess turned away, Dr. Samoy, couldn’t help but observe the Reinforced Skin gently rub Anissa in places she knew Drayke’s mind played. Just as the feelings of a familiar jealously began to swell, a stare of satisfaction roamed through the busyness of bodies; eventually meeting eyes cold with calculated intent – Blaise Spur, and Jasmine Samoy had recognised each other and smiled.

A samurai put down his sword in a fight with 3 other Samurai, i’ll let that sink in…

ULTIMATE DISHONOUR!

22 – One Piece, Bird Cage Arc

Ussop Observation Haki for the first time – Score (5,5,4,2,3,4) 23

MY BOI USOPP GETTING ALL KINDS OF RESPEK ON HIS NAME! This is one of my favourite OP moments, a much needed and well executed Level up for one of Luffy’s nearest and dearest. *Sogeking theme song plays in the background*

50-30.

Welcome my anime geeks, nerds and closet fans, I present to you my TOP 50 BEST HERO MOMENTS IN ANIME! It has taken me over a month to research and write, and I hope that this trip down epic lane can re-kindle old passions and dreams of heroism.

WARNING – this piece may cause spontaneous screaming, gaining of exp, ki blasts, and or a deep re-evaluation of life goals, and training methods.

To begin, I will explain the criteria that the many MANY hero moments (HM) were judged on, and the scoring system. I really wanted to find a more objective and fair way of rating these HM beyond just, how much they made my soul and undercarriage quiver, and so, the Sexy Jutsu Scoring System was created.

All HM were scored 1-5 on;

Importance to plot outcome (ITPO)

Importance to character development (ITCD)

Emotiveness

Badass-ness

Animation

Effect on villain(s) mental state (EOVMS)

These criteria are also ranked in order of importance, so that in cases of equal scoring, two or more HM can be separated by which scored higher on the first criterion in the above list. If that score is also the same than I referred to the next one, if that was also the same, i proceeded to the following one, and so on and so forth. The actual scores will be displayed, and yes I’ve got a sack of sensu beans prepared for the fan backlash. HM were automatically excluded if I couldn’t remember them lol (I actually typed LOL), and no manga related greatness was included in the list, if I did, y’all know that certain shinigami related shenanigans & Gats’ no holds barred-ness would have made it into the top 50 if not top 10. Finally, I should mention that no anime movies were considered for this list, just serialised shows. Furthermore, only shows I’ve actually watched – which is A LOT – however, I’m sure there are some great HM in other shows too. #sooncome.

WARNING 2 – This list contains SPOILERS for the anime’s of the Dragon Ball Series, Naruto, Bleach, Hunter x Hunter, Attack on Titan and One Piece. However, if you are not up to date on Dragon ball Z, Bleach or Naruto yet – Slap yourself and then the person next to you for not slapping you sooner. I will label the anime title and story arc each HM is from first, to try & help you rogue ninjas skip spoilers (you may have to close your eyes while scrolling down though, but that probably won’t save you).

50-30 – Delightful Pictures & One liners of varying comedic value.

29-21 – Gifs & HILARIOUS one/two liners

20-1 – All of the above, plus an explanation of why & how they scored their delicious points.

Akainu and Blackbeard are maybe the only two individuals I hate more than Game of thrones’ Joffrey! I wanted Whitebeard to smite him into non-existence with old testament level vengeance! F****ing Akainu kmt, THE DEVIL IS A LIAR!

36 – DBZ, Buu Saga

Goku SSj 3 Transformation – Score (1,4,5,4,4,4) = 22

LOOK AT THIS sexual, and eyebrowless saiyan warrior! EASILY THE MOST EPICLY ANIMATED & EMOTIVE SS TRANSFORMATION EVER! I actually put my hood up, curled into a ball, and recited some nerdy voodoo while watching this. I was in my friend’s living room too… I can only imagine what would have happened to my soul if I’d seen it without knowing of the transformation before hand.

35 – Naruto, Sabuza vs Team 7

Naruto and Sasuke demon shiruken vs Zabusa – Score (3,3,5,5,3,3) = 22

The moment I was fully sold on Naruto! Still one of the most clever moments of the series.

34- Bleach, Arrancar Arc

Chad Right arm of the giant & Left Arm of the devil – Score (3,4,4,4,3,4) = 22

Damn, my boi Chad! Such a shame the anime ended before we could see the evolution of this power! Still though – La Muerte. *Shivers*

33 – One Piece, War of The Best Arc

First time luffy uses the conquering kings haki in the war of the best – Score (3,5,4,3,3,4) = 22

I’m such a big fan of this power, and it’s fantastic name! made me say daaaaaaaaaaaaam, with probably even more ‘a’s when i first saw its comatosing sexcellence (no typo). That beautiful and mystical letter D.

32 – DB Super, Goku Black Saga

Trunks power up vs Black – Score (4,4,4,3,4,3) = 22

I’m still discussing with my bro what exactly this power up was? But nevertheless it was scintillating to see everyone’s forgotten third favourite character doing a madness.

31 – One Piece, Enies Lobby

Sanji Diable Jambe (first time) – Score (4,5,3,4,3,3) = 22

Sanji, still refusing to fight with his hands with awesome consequences! The latest One Piece ep though, has thrown all kinds of questions about this power…

30 – Naruto Shippuuden, 4th Great Ninja War Saga

Naruto’s entrance into the war – Scoring (4.5,4.5,5,4,3,1) = 22

WHAT A HELLACIOUS EPISODE! (except the weird start) I must have slapped my head about ten times, as Naruto kept unleashing incredible moves, each one even more Rasen-tastic than the last.

20-11

Just a reminder…

All Hero Moments were scored 1-5 on;

Importance to plot outcome (ITPO)

Importance to character development (ITCD)

Emotiveness

Badass-ness

Animation

Effect on Villain(s) mental state (EOVMS)

These criteria are also ranked in order of importance, so that in cases of equal scoring, two or more HM can be separated by which scored higher on the first criterion in the above list. If that score is also the same than I referred to the next one, if that was also the same, I proceeded to the following one, and so on and so forth.

20 – Hunter x Hunter, Chimera Ants Saga

Gon’s Rage Transformation vs Pitou – 24

When someone posts a spoiler on their facebook.

ITPO = 2, because all though this transformation allowed him to pummel the sin out of and then back into Pitou, he couldn’t maintain it long enough to use it against the main enemy of the story arc.

ITCD = 4, Obviously this was a major turning moment for Gon, and showed you how monstrously strong he could become in future, as well as how far he’s prepared to go to seek vengeance for those he cares about. However, it misses out on top marks because we never see this form again and thus don’t really know of its usefulness in his future battles.

Emotiveness = 4, This scene was set up in the perfect HM way, someone you love is hurt, then you lose your marbles in an almost satanic rage, and transform into a being of pure unadulterated vengeance. I was truly thrilled to the bone watching this, however, it did get a little – watching a grown man kick a puppy – towards the end, so it just misses out on full marks.

Badassness = 5, Had to be a straight five! how can you not adorn that number onto an individual, who let himself become the devil’s Etch-a-sketch so he could level up into emperor quadriceps?! Epic, powerful, brutal and deadly.

Animation = 5, This too was excellent, and well above the average level for the series (which is good). I always feel that black and white rough sketch style is great for depicting madness.

EOVMS = 4, The effect of seeing a pre-pubescent boy turn into a homicidal Mr Olympia was immense, as you could imagine. Pitou was fearful and dumbfounded, however she never lost the will to fight back, and also the Arcs main villain never saw Gon in this form, further hindering it from scoring full points.

19 – Bleach, The Espada Arc

Ichigo’s resurrection vs Ulquiora – 24

And it was at this point that Jimmy realised he f***** up.

ITPO = 3, This bone chilling transformation of ass whoppery, although allowing my boi Kurosaki to annihilate Ulquiora (one of the main enemies of the arc), didn’t last long enough for him to be able to use it on the main foe – Aizen.

ITCD = 4, A very important moment, as it showed the fullness of the hollow powers that have been teased since the start of the soul society arc, a power that allowed him to cheat death. However, it misses out on full marks as we never again saw its use for the remainder of the Anime.

Emotiveness = 5, I spent the whole episode making animal noises at my laptop screen! what an incredibly aggressive and powerfully depicted character power up. I think this is my most memorable bleach moment. I’m sure this transformation could have beat Aizen, maybe not after he fused with the Hogyoku, but definitely in his soul reaper form.

Badassness = 5, It cheated death, became so powerfully steeped in a lust for vengeance, it lost its higher brain functions, yet STILL developed telekinesis. WHAT?!

Animation = 4, A very well animated episode and transformation, but nothing exceptional or outside the realms of expectation for a premier moment, in terms of artistic style or technique.

EOVMS = 3, This only gets an average score because, although Ulquiora was startled, and a certain points amazed, he never lost the will to fight or the belief that he could win. He even found a semblance of peace in his demise.

18 – Naruto Shippuuden, 4th great Ninja war saga.

Minato Flying Raijin Lv2 vs Tobi – 24

When you Minato became Neo, Morpheus and Jesus in one move!

ITPO = 4, The meaning in this moment was that it allowed the ‘good guys to gain valuable combat knowledge on the mysterious interdimensionally phasing ‘Tobi’. Not to mention stall him enough to prevent to complete destruction of the Leaf and allow his wife to give birth to Uzamaki Naruto. But, ultimately it didn’t kill his foe or stop Tobi’s Master plan.

ITCD = 4, It allowed us to see that battle intelligence, and the full power of his teleportation jutsu. This move also showed that he had surpassed the 2nd Hokage and current Raikage in terms of speed. However, due to the fact that we never saw this particular Jutsu again it misses out on full marks.

Emotiveness = 5, WHEN I TELL YOU THE MAN BECAME NEO, MORPHEUS AND JESUS IN ONE MOVE, I MEAN IT!

Badassness = 4, The only reason this doesn’t get a 5 is because it’s awesomeness is too clean-cut, like a hollywood summer blockbuster, and not a death-defying moment that flirts with evility.

Animation = 4, Beautifully animated, with awesome-sauce dripping all over that slow motion. But nothing new, different or out of the box.

EOVMS = 3, For all of Minato’s brilliance, Tobi never seemed particularly overwhelmed or phased. Although you did sense that he gained respect for the hokage’s battle prowess.

17 – One Piece, Thriller Bark Arc

Zoro absorbing all of Luffy’s damage & fatigue against Geko Moria –24

Is Zoro stronger than Luffy????!!!!!!! Nah man, this guy has been moving mad for the longest. I WANT ANSWERS.

ITPO = 5, Without this exchange, Luffy and the straw hat crew would have been killed or at least imprisoned. Possibly, putting a definitive end to their epic journey to the One Piece. Therefore maximum points are fully deserved.

ITCD = 4, Apart from the impressive insinuation that Zoro is at least capable of handling as much damage as Luffy if not more, this moment begins in earnest the sub plot of whether or not Zoro is stronger the his Captain, and therefore paints all further power ups and physical demonstrations of sword wielding excellence in a different light.

Emotiveness = 3, This unlike other more titillating HM, wasn’t an OMG punch your brother in the gut moment, but more of a mumble under your breath while fiddling with your goatee moment.

Badassness = 5, If you tell me that absorbing all of somebody else’s PAIN and FATIGUE on top of your own post battle shellacking to save their life and that of your whole crew isn’t the height of badassery? Then please absorb somebody else’s post leg day DOMS on top of your own Leg Day DOMS, then come and talk to me. IF, you still have any fully attached knee ligaments.

Animation = 3, Pretty average and typical of what one would expect from One Piece. that’s not to say that it’s poor.

EOVMS = 4, This can be summed up simply, by the fact that the ‘enemy’ was so impressed by this action that he completely reversed his mission. In fact, he went one step further and actually helped them further their mission.

16 – Dragon Ball Super, Goku Black Saga

Trunks defeating Zamasu with a spirit bomb sword – 24

Where do a start with this one…? With his spontaneous God level power up? or The Ability to summon the spirit bomb?A move we’ve never seen him use, one that took Goku intense training to master. Then miraculously exhibiting God level Ki control to turn it into a freekin sword!

ITPO = 5, Obviously this slightly perplexing event scores maximum points because it was the ultimate act in the conclusion of this story arc. Something that can’t always be said for most HM.

ITCD = 4, Any power up of newly demonstrated move is going to be of importance to character development, however, this misses out of full marks due to the fact that it presents us with more questions about this ingenious character. Questions that may never be answered because he’s not part of ‘our’ DB time line.

Emotiveness = 4, Still can’t decide if I was more confused or amazing at these series of events. Regardless, both still fall into the category of emotiveness, and thus this HM scores highly.

Badassness = 3, Although turning a spirit bomb into a sword bigger than Zangetsu is pretty badass, as I mentioned before the move’s righteousness, and low risk nature lessens it’s edge (no pun intended).

Animation = 4, A very well animated sequence from start to finish, providing the kind of flashy beat down we all want to see! but exceptional? not quite.

EOVMS = 4, Zamasu was completely bewildered by the fact that his fused God powers were being put to the sword, crumbling and losing his composure like a digestive biscuit in an old folks home. But, he still tried to fight on albeit to no avail.

15 – One Piece, Enies Lobby Arc

Gear 2nd first time – 24.5

SWEET BURNING HOT RUBBER FISTS! Ingenious, Jaw dropping and fantastical. The first HM of its type in One Piece for me. #muchneeded

ITPO = 4, Gave Bluno the kind of high-speed beat down the Flash would tip his hat too! but as this enemy wasn’t the No.1 adversary of the arc I can’t give it full marks.

ITCD = 5, Nothing but a full fat juicy five marks would do for a ‘transformation’ that allowed him to demonstrate his own brilliant mastery of his devil fruit. Not to mention how ‘weaker’ non logia type devil fruit powers, are far more subtle and complex in their potential to provide incredible abilities. It also laid the foundation for his many further and more impressive devil fruit shenanigans. Red Hawk sandwich anyone?

Emotiveness = 4.5, I sat staring cross-eyed at my phone for an eon trying to decide whether this was a 5 or a 4…but in my experience of this list, if it’s that hard a decision, it’s not a 5. Thus, i folded like a wet envelope and awarded it a swedish neutral 4.5.

Badassness = 4, Luffy consistently puts himself in mortal danger to achieve his goals, and this is no different, pumping blood around his body so fast that he glows red like a F1 brake pad is reckless in the extreme, but i thank him everyday for it.

Animation = 4, Excellent, and above the series average, but not exceptional. A bit like my home-made french toast.

EOVMS = 3, The enemy was definitely surprised by this dramatic power up, but didn’t at any point lose the will to fight, or show any deep fear for his life.

14 – Naruto, Sound Ninja Five Arc

Choji Butterfly red pill form vs Jiroba – 24.5

The guy just ate some any ball of candy, and achieved instantaneous pengness! NANDESKA?! Do you know how many muscles ups it would take the average keyboard warrior to achieve this?? Easily the greatest HM of any C list anime character.

ITPO = 4.5, Although he did defeat one of the sound Ninja five, who without his glorious intervention would have joined the remaining sound ninja and by virtue of greater numbers probably defeated the remaining Leaf shinobi. This however, Is not certain and even with this victory there was still a number of variables at play, this missing out on a full score.

ITCD = 4, Like all that score highly on this criteria it was a major moment for the character, showing that he could run with the best of them. However, we didn’t see how this power developed him as a ninja until the 4th great ninja war, and even then it seemed a bit under powered considering what he was capable of as a boy.

Emotiveness = 5, Was there any doubt i would give this a Niki Minaj ass shaking 5?? of course not. It single-handedly gave me more respect for the overweight and nutritionally challenged. I never looked at butterflies or the colour blue in the same way again.

Badassness = 4, The badass gains of a prison court-yard training regime, with all the sudden weight loss of a terminal illness. Brilliant.

Animation = 4, Very well done, like with most dramatic moments, the extra time and money was spent to make it stand out above the average episode animations, however not a patch on the very best animated fight scenes in Naruto. You know what they are…

EOVMS= 3, Same issues as Luffy’s gear second, so i won’t repeat myself, and instead will go do some push ups.

13 – Attack On Titan, Season 1

Eren Jeager’s first transformation into titan – 24.5

This was so epic because for the first time in an anime I genuinely believed the lead character had died! A feat DBZ never quite mastered thanks to Kakarot having more lives than Highlander. No to mention the fact that he became the very thing he hated most, all in the name of burst out of your mouth VENGEANCE.

ITPO = 5, Funny thing is about the way AOT is released, is that we’re barely even into the main story arc, and in fact i pretty much spend most episodes in ignorant bliss. But one thing i can say for certain, is that without this transformation everything and everyone he loves would be dead or traumatised into a permanent fetal position by the end of the episode, let alone the first season.

ITCD = 5, For the same reason as above, this scores very highly, and as we’ve seen repeatedly since that gory day, this transformation is and will (for better or worse) continue to be quintessential to his physical and mental development for the rest of the series.

Emotiveness = 4.5, when you gesticulate violently at the resurrection of a 2 dimensional character that was never even alive to begin with, you know that you’ve fully caught feelings.

Badassness= 5, He was eaten alive, did a one-armed breast-stroke in its guts, got angry, reverse fisted it’s esophagus, then became a Titan.

Animation = 4, For a series as brilliantly animated as this one, it’s not easy to score full marks, even though this was given the proper treatment, other HM within the show are more standout-ish in terms of visuals.

EOVMS = 1, This cores so low for two simple reasons, his current enemies – the titans, are completely vacant upstairs, meaning they have no concept of fear and pain. The other, is that all the teased ‘superior’ titans, seem to both know about this ability of some humans to turn into titans, and not be fazed by it either. Especially that talking orangutan one, he’s calmly moving like some murderous Berbatov.

12 – Dragon Ball Z, Majin Buu Saga

Vegeta letting himself be controlled by Babidi just to power up – 25

Meaningless huh..? WHAT DO YOU KNOW OF MEANINGLESS??!!

A controversial choice, but let me explain; Vegeta is a fully fledged a citizen of earth (house, wife, kids and dat), and although he kills innocent people in the stadium (Probably chelsea fans), his main goal is just to get stronger a defeat Kakarot. Once that is achieved I firmly believe he would have used this power to defeat those that threatened the earth.

ITPO = 2, The energy from the fight was used to help revive Buu, however some of it was taken from Gohan. Furthermore at this point, this battle is its own sub plot, and within that sub plot, the fight was *whispers* meaningless. Goku could have gone SS3 and played badminton with vegats spine, thus rendering the whole spectacle null and void in the eyes of any Saiyan.

ITCD = 5, This mentally disturbed anti-hero, finally let out all his passion, hatred and desires. Revealing that the old him was very much still lurking in the shadows like an immortal cockroach, yet through this insane self-serving choice, he actually managed to exercise his demons. So much so that in the end, he sacrificed himself for his family.

Emotiveness = 5, By this point in DBZ Vegeta is already the greatest character in anime tv history, and after this twisted stunt he became the most superbly fleshed out character ever in the history of eyeballs. And although Goku is bae, part of me wanted for the sake of trunk’s teenage years for Vegeta to win. I didn’t know whether to laugh, cry or cheer! What a moment, what a man. (here’s a sly link to a poem i wrote about Vegeta The Dying Planet & The Prince)

Badassness = 5, How badass?

Animation = 4, If i was comparing it to that animation of the Cell saga then it would get a 5, but as the shows visual excellence leveled up for pretty much the whole Buu saga, i had to consider this new status quo and give it a reduced score of 4.

EOVMS = 4, This had everyone losing their minds; Babidi was questioning what calibre of jiive he just bore witness too, Goku was ready to blast the supreme kai’s face off, Vegeta’s own wife was crying tears of disbelief into the ashes of blown up chelsea fans. However more importantly, the main villain of the arc Majin buu was blissfully unaware as he slept dreaming of cake. A technicality i know, but i have to be harsh, if i want to discover what is the GREATEST HM IN ANIME HISTORY.

11 – One Piece, Sabaody Archipelago Arc

Luffy punching a Celestial Dragon – 25

Good lord this punch was drenched in justice! You won’t ever see a more righteous wallop to the face in your life! Even if you lived all your days in the old testament, screaming Moses is some any b****.

ITPO = 4, This magnificent punch of malice ridden centrifugal forces, set a few things in motion. For example, the Straw Hats being enemies of perhaps the most powerful group in the show – The Celestial Dragons. There bounties increasing even further, the number and scale of the government forces that came to the Archipelago #pacaficta, and the other super nova’s recognising their captain’s reckless character and moral compass. In particular this i believe was when Trafalgar Law began to see the makings of someone he could work with. However, a lot of that is my personal theories, that as of yet are unconfirmed. Therefore i couldn’t give it a 5.

ITCD = 1, that score maybe surprising to some, but ask yourself, did he do anything you weren’t expecting him to do? Although a glories 10sec in our lives, we learnt nothing new about him because of it.

Emotiveness = 5, You could have easily guessed that. But what more can I say about it?? that perhaps he actually didn’t punch him hard enough?! That this punch made me understand the true purpose of a clenched fist?! That the story’s similarities to the enslavement of africans by ‘the white man’, gave the punch a cultural, political and emotional gravitas unseen since Obama’s inauguration?!

The Celestial Dragons are the WORST, and I wish them a thousand sufferings.

Badassness = 5, to explain this simply, it’s like Kendrick Lamar slowly walking up to Donald Trump during his victory speech, and while surrounded by all the president’s armed guards, *nigerian accent* SLAPPING the holy spirit out of him.

Animation = 5, I think the fact that you can actually see conscious reasoning leave his body upon impact, says it all.

EOVSM = 5, Because this B****** didn’t perish into the afterlife, you were able to find out afterwards how badly this affected his whole understanding of maths, science and english.

Never has anyone ever even disobeyed these people let alone laid a finger on them. #luffy #winning