F1 – a sham sport

Before the engine roar fades from our subconscious and the race track is swept clean using a million gallons from the coarse Yamuna water and the swish set move on to yet another peeve- let me say this point blank- F1 is no sport, it’s not even a game…it’s a conglomerate of top notch automobile companies very shamelessly albeit skillfully parading their metallic wares. How the hell does it qualify to be a sport? Where is the human toil? The sweat and grind, the man vs. man gladiatorial mud scrap?

Make no mistake this is automobile technology at pinnacle, engineering marvel at its dizzying best. The best and the fastest machines the outcome of relentless human toil in mastering notions of speed, combustion and gravity. Hats off to all, that but it is no sport.

The machines guide the drivers. All they need is a sense of fearlessness and a good anti nausea pill (30 circles in 90 minutes need a bile control prescription). What skill is needed in driving at 300 kmph in a relative straight line? And it’s a bad sport for the feminists with zero women drivers. Why no women drivers yet and just for that I don’t call it fair game.

Believe me it’s all managed. Fixed. Red Bull this year, McLaren next, Mercedes the year after. Settled. So there’s hope for Force India. It’s also the worst event for a paying public, the true spectators who form the life line of any sport. You shell out 35,000/- per seat to watch the cars vroooom past for all of 3.5 seconds. I watched the F1from the most vantage point this year, better than any paid/privileged seat- on my TV screen sitting at home. Didn’t Mr. Bean, though omnipresent at the venue, watch it on a screen too? We had the same view.

So, big deal I wasn’t there. From the couch I marveled at the technicalities (the complex communications network) but scoffed at those who were watching it from the stands. How do you pitch this ‘sport’ to your child? For a true sport inspires while leaving behind an easy legacy. So whenever your child is behind the wheels will you coax him to drive real fast, undertake a few sharp maneuovres and try staying alive in the bargain? No way. Give me real sport. Even though it lasts all of 9.5 seconds, I will give all my dimes and the shirt of my back to watch Usain Bolt.

DISCLAIMER : Views expressed above are the author's own.

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Arif Zakaria has dabbled in theatre, television and films. He was last seen in Vikram Bhatt’s The Haunted. His role was appreciated and he has also been added to the star cast of Krrish 3 for a special cameo.
Arif Zakaria is best remembered for films like Darmiyan, Dance like a man, My Name is Khan and the musical play The Merchant of Bollywood.

Arif Zakaria has dabbled in theatre, television and films. He was last seen in Vikram Bhatt’s The Haunted. His role was appreciated and he has also. . .