Let me just start this post off by saying reality television is a goddamn blight upon our society for one very specific reason that surprisingly isn’t the Kardashians: It tells women who watch it, and worse young girls, that way overboard drama is okay because every. thing. in. life. is. super. fucking. important. Add knocked…

Yesterday, the Internet got to enjoy a collective “Aw, goddammit” when Jenelle Evans, easily the stupidest, most white trash of the Teen Moms (You tried your best, Amber.) announced she’s pregnant again by immediately selling the exclusive news to Star before she even finished wiping from the test because, surprise, she’s only six weeks pregnant.

According to Us Weekly, Teen Mom Jenelle Evans has announced she’s engaged to boyfriend Gary Head who, and I’m trying to remember all this correctly even though I actively tried to avoid most of this information, she openly accused on Facebook of beating her because she was hanging out with her ex Kieffer who, after…

Teen Mom star Jenelle Evans literally got new implants five minutes ago, yet here she is already parading them around in a bikini because meth doesn’t grow on trees. She’s tried. Not that I’m complaining because these are the type of sexy pictures I love posting on The Superficial. Just a hot, thick, awesome, real…

In accordance with the Teen Momrite of passage, Jenelle Evans thankfully squirreled away enough of her meth money and finally got a boob job at Wilmington Plastic Surgery yesterday. If you look closely, you can see that she’s wearing a mic pack here and a cameraman is visible…

If Teen Mom has taught us anything (It hasn’t.) it’s that no matter what you get famous for, when public interest in you begins to fade, people are still going to enjoy looking at your tits. Especially if you…

Because why wouldn’t you treat a teenage girl who carelessly got pregnant like a glamorous celebrity? (Or pay one seven times what you actually spent on teen pregnancy prevention to promote abstinence.) Here’s Teen Mom 2 star Jenelle Evans following in the footsteps of Farrah Abraham by posing for entirely staged bikini photos. And you’re…

Teen Mom 2 star Jenelle Evans might have been arrested for assault earlier this week after getting in a white trash brawl with another girl (Brittany Maggard) that was caught on video. But that shouldn’t stop her from treating it like a sex tape by selling it and pretending she’s devastated that it got out.

Here’s Jenelle Evans, star of the second season of MTV’s Teen Mom demonstrating how you top a previous season that involved Dom DeLuise getting his ass beat by Mama Fratelli and Adam Lambert’s aborted love-child that somehow survived: Baby explosions. Which is clearly better than my idea of making one of the baby’s gay. I’m…