For a start,
impersonating a Theosophist is much easier to do if you never meet any
Theosophists. You can just pick up a few ideas from the internet and try to
impress civilians at parties and bus stops. You won’t pull at the parties but
you should get a seat on the bus to yourself.

The purpose of this
Website site is however to enable you to hold your own as a credible Theosophist
at such events as a Theosophical Gathering, Disco, Singles Holiday or Darts
Match.

Be warned that some
people who start out impersonating Theosophists actually become Theosophists
and this is irreversible.

Don’t know
anything about Theosophy?

If you don’t know
anything about Theosophy, you’ll find that this site builds you up to it
gradually and there is some real Theosophy further down the page (A lot further
down the page)

If you’re in a
hurry to know something about Theosophy and don’t want to wait that long then
click here to go to

Theosophy doesn’t
require you to be a vegetarian or even to have any opinion on the subject at
all but it does help to say that you think vegetarianism is a good idea even if
you can’t manage it yourself.

There’s no need to adopt
Dietary Fascism i.e. Supporters of the Health Nazi; Sir Oswald Muesli – Sieg
Health! Sieg Health! They don’t live any longer, it just seems like it.

Actually, what we
call Healthy Eating only goes back about 30 years and some experts are now
saying that there are Healthy Eating related diseases. You just can’t win.

If you aren’t a
vegetarian you can just say;

“I think I’m just
not destined to be a vegetarian in this life”

“I was vegetarian
for two years but it didn’t agree with me”

Nothing

Or

Why not become
Vegetarian. There’s never been a better time.

Of course, apart
from psychic Theosophists, nobody will know if you go straight home and eat
steak pudding and chips twice anyway.

On a more serious note,
traditional Theosophists maintain that we should not eat our fellow creatures.

The film (banned in Britain until 1968) is about two
biker gangs who cause havoc

in a Californian town and is based on a
real event that happened in 1947.

Men – Anything except
a power suit or a wide lapelled loud checked sports jacket with a kipper tie
unless you are doing a stand up comedy routine at the Christmas party.

A recent straw poll
of women Theosophists has revealed that men who dress like Marlon Brando in “The Wild One” are always in demand at Theosophical Discos.

A further poll of
the ladies also revealed that if you look like Marlon Brando in “The Wild One”,
that’s even better.

Women – Anything
but preferably Black Leather. It is however essential not to look like Camilla
Parker Bowles. If you do look like Camilla Parker Bowles you will be
complemented on this and you will immediately book a hair appointment.

What to Drive

Here’s another
1950s classic that will always impress

The Jowett
Javelin

In
production from 1948 to 1954

Top speed of 82.4 mph, acceleration from 0-60 mph in 20.9
seconds.

Fuel consumption of 29.1 miles per gallon

In 1953 one would cost you £1207 including purchase tax

Now
considered a Classic Car and in line with the Cyclic Nature of

Evolution
on an upward spiral, Chrysler have adopted this styling.

If you don’t drive
a Jowett Javelin now, then claim that you once did or that your dad drove one.
A Phase I or II Standard Vanguard is a good alternative.

(This
hasn’t anything to do with Theosophy, the author of this website just likes
pictures of 1950s cars)

Cycling is cheaper and
most Theosophical Groups will have somewhere safe for you to put your bike
during the meeting.

Smoking

No Way – but if you
are over 80 then you can admit to smoking a pipe – this goes for women as well
but women should take more care over the choice of pipe tobacco.

Be in favour of the
current smoking ban in pubs even if you haven’t been in a pub for 20 years and
at the same time grumble about people smoking outside pubs in the street, and
the cloud of Lung Cancer that greets you one hundred yards down the road.

Money Saving Tip

Some pubs now have
more people outside smoking than inside drinking. Walking the length of your
local high street on a Friday or Saturday evening can now be equivalent to
smoking 40 Woodbine, which is good value.

H P Blavatsky was a
legendary smoker but she was H P Blavatsky and smoking wasn’t bad for you in
her day. An exaggeration factor may have crept in here but she is reported to
have smoked 200 cigarettes a day. She didn’t drink alcohol so the smoking in
pubs ban wouldn’t have affected her.

Men – There has been
a fashion for white ones like Colonel Olcott’s but you rarely see one up to his
standard. Beards were beards in those days. Colonel Olcott could make a fortune
from sponsorship by Grecian 2000 if he came back today.

Women – Optional

Relationships

Theosophy doesn’t
stop you having these with anyone you want to.

Cycling is cheaper

Finding Money

If you see a coin
on the pavement you should always pick it up, whatever your financial
circumstances.

Theosophical
opinion is divided on why you should do this but the two main reasons are;

1) The Universe is
giving you free money and if you don’t take it, the Universe will assume that
you don’t need it and won’t give you any more.

Or

2) When you find a
coin it means that the Angels are watching over you and you should acknowledge
this by picking it up.

Appreciation of
Heavy Metal requires at least 3 previous incarnations of serious inner work as
an absolute basic. You can only impersonate a Heavy Metaller if you were in the
First World War in a past life.

Theosophists watch
loads of Television but don’t like to admit just how much they watch.
Theosophists also tend to be up to speed on the digital revolution so it is
always good form to mention the name of an obscure digital channel even if you
don’t watch it.

If you have a Black
& White Television, nobody will believe you including the Television
Licensing people.

Did you Know ?

Colour Television
was demonstrated at the Earls Court Ideal Home Exhibition in 1949 but it would
have been cheaper to go to the moon than buy one and there were no colour
programmes on until 1967 anyway.

Is There a
Blavatsky Channel? – Not Yet!

Cinema

Nosferatu the VampyreDirected by Werner Herzog

Klaus Kinski as Count Dracula in Nosferatu, Phantom der Nacht

(The Undead, Phantom of the Night)
carrying Isabelle Adjani

A 1979 German re-make of 1922 classic

Theosophists like
going to the cinema just as much as they like television and this is a subject
they like to talk about. Alternative Cinema is also very popular with
Theosophists.

Burnley Odeon - A Design Classic

The cars in the picture are a Riley Elf, parked by the building and a

Morris Minor 1000, parked by the lamp post, which are also design
classics.

The film showing is The Aristocats.

Nights Out

Even if they have
been clubbing until 4 that morning, Theosophists prefer to claim that they
haven’t had a night out since 1962.

Karaoke

Similar to the
dancing. Make a complete hash of it even if you are good.

If you find a Heavy
Metal Karaoke then please tell Theosophists about it as it would be a good
opportunity to do a bit of Air Guitar Playing.

Theosophy doesn’t
require you to avoid alcohol although the writings of Annie Besant give some dire warnings and no Theosophical gatherings allow it.
Theosophists who do drink tend not to do so in the presence of other
Theosophists probably because they don’t like getting their round in.

People who come to
Theosophical meetings and can’t say Theosophical are normally drunk.

Neil from the Young
Ones (Nigel Planer) can be cited as an example of the sort of damage you can do
with illegal substances, if you work at it.

1947

If Einstein was
right, everything that has happened, is happening now and will happen in the
future, all happens at once. Modern science has come up with a neat term for
this, calling it the Block Universe.

This idea plus the
negotiable nature of the Space-Time Continuum has given us three ways of
dealing with 1947.

1) Those who think
that the world began in 1947 and everything that claims to pre-date 1947 was
put there to fool us and that anyone claiming to have been around before 1947
is part of the conspiracy (This position is quite tenable even if you have the
History Channel). It is surprising how many people claim to be part of the
conspiracy.

2) Those who think
it is still 1947 and cannot understand this website. (They’re not the only
ones)

3) Those who think
that 1947 was just another year and that there have been years since and there
will be more years in the future.

Caution – Only
decide to think it is still 1947 if you are too old to do National Service.

If you think it is
still 1947, why are you on surfing the internet?

To be honest, the author
of this website has never met anyone in the first group.

There’s a lot of speculation about the nature of

the Space-Time Continuum, but it’s still time

and it’s still a continuum

Gossip

There is incredible
gossip in Theosophical circles but it is always about people who haven’t been
seen for at least 5 years.

If you want a laugh
why not disappear for five years and then turn up in disguise or sneak in
before an event and covertly record it. Don’t leave it thirty years though, everyone
will have forgotten what you did.

It is better to
avoid doing these on Theosophical subjects if you are just impersonating a
Theosophist. Of course you may want to give a talk on something else.

Always see how many
Clash song titles you can slip into a talk without anyone noticing.

Becoming a
Member

The Theosophical Movement
consists of many diverse organisations promoting Theosophy. Some comprise of
large networks of groups with a central headquarters and some are stand alone
independent centres. Anyone can start a Theosophy Group (or even do a Theosophy
Website) and you may even be starting your own right now.

Theosophy Cardiff is affiliated to the Theosophical Society
which has its International Headquarters in Adyar, India.

The above list would make a good itinerary for a cycling tour, perhaps
someone may one day undertake a grand cycling tour of British Theosophy
Centres.

Joining a Theosophy Group is highly recommended

but is a decision to be taken in your own
time.

Becoming a card
carrying member of a Theosophical Group is a matter of personal choice, should be optional
and you should be allowed to make the decision in your own time. If you were
ever to find a group that bullies you into becoming a member then it is
probably a dodgy outfit but if you are only impersonating a Theosophist that
might not bother you.

Some Theosophy Groups might offer incentives to join

Some Theosophical Groups
have press gangs but this is only in coastal areas and big cities. You can
always spot them because they have big nets like the Truant Catcher out of the
Beano.

Visit our
Scambusters page for a satirical look at some of the things that anyone on the
spiritual path should look out for.

The “On Demand
Society” has led us to expect quick concise answers to even quite involved and
complex issues. There’s no satisfactory quick answer as to what Theosophy is
and one comes to appreciate the meaning over a period of time.

If anyone one asks
you what Theosophy is, the technically correct answer that it is Divine Wisdom
probably won’t mean anything to the enquirer. Alternatively, you can say that
it is an interpretation of the Eastern Esoteric Tradition for Western Society.
This won’t mean much either but it does give just a glimpse of the rationale
for Theosophy and where it comes from.

If you want to
justify your interest as a Theosophist in a particular subject, you can always
see if it falls within the remit of the Three Objects of the Society outlined below.

The only actual requirement is to agree with the Three Objects of the
Society

The Objects of
the Theosophical Society

1. To form a nucleus of the Universal Brotherhood of Humanity, without
distinction of race, creed, sex, caste or colour.

2. To encourage
the study of comparative religion, philosophy and science.

3. To investigate
unexplained laws of nature and the powers latent in man.

Beyond this,
Theosophy doesn’t require you to have any ideas or believe anything but
adopting that position would mean social exclusion, so here are a few pointers.

God

God is a bit too
big for us ordinary humans to comprehend so Theosophists accept the existence
of the immutable principle from which everything emanates and regard it as
beyond speculation.

As far a Theosophy
is concerned, the man with the white beard is Henry Steel Olcott. Beware of
imitations.

Reincarnation

If you don’t accept
this then Theosophy doesn’t actually work.

Theosophy maintains
that the process of moving from life to life forms part of both our own
personal evolution and that of humanity as a whole.

Theosophy also
postulates that humanity moves through mass reincarnations know as Root-Races
and that there are seven to go through in each cosmic era. We
are the fifth in the current era with two more to go. Don’t hold your
breath about this one, the time spans are enormous.

If you think you
have met someone in a past life then you probably have and you will probably
meet them again.

Outliving the
Stars

Reincarnation is
all very well but modern science says that the Universe is going to come to an
end and Theosophy agrees that the Universe, as we know it, will not continue
forever.

What’s going to
happen us?

Theosophy
postulates a system of reincarnation for the Universe and in fact for all
Universes. At present we are in what we call the Manvantara which is the
physical manifestation of the Universe. At the end of this period the Universe
will go into what is called the Pralaya or obscuration. During the Pralaya the
Universe will not exist physically but will exist in potential. The Universe
will manifest itself again in a new Manvantara and we will be part of that new
manifestation in some form.

A loose analogy is
a football crowd that will attend the ground for the duration of the match and
then disperse. The crowd still exists in potential and will turn up again for
the next game. This model assumes that the team attracts a crowd.

Bodies

Having invisible bodies
we can’t see, other than our physical one, and what these bodies do is basic to
Theosophical thinking. In fact we have a body that does the thinking (some of
us do anyway)

The set of bodies
we get is known in Theosophy as the Constitution of Man and a lot of
credibility is gained by having a good working knowledge of this system.

This Constitution
consists of seven principles, which Theosophists like to call bodies. Each of
these bodies has its own plane of nature on which it operates just as our physical
body operates on the physical plane.

These are

Atma – The piece of
the divine in everybody or the bit of God in everyone.

Buddhi – Our
individual spiritual identity. If we are all part of the Divine then this is
your part.

Manas – The Mind
principle divided into higher – spiritual ideals and lower – concrete and
rational thought. This is the Mental Body without which, you can’t think.

Atma, Buddhi and
higher Manas form the immortal part of man. The four principles below are
dumped at the end of you physical life and you get new ones for next time.

Kama – The desire principle. Theosophists tend to worry about how much this one influences the lower thinking
part. You need a bit of desire to keep you going, so control it but don’t crush
it.

Prana – The life
energy principle. You are plugged into this power source and when you die, the
plug is pulled.

Linga Sharira – The
model body or template for your physical body. Your body changes over a seven
year period but you can still recognize yourself in the mirror.

Sthula Sharira –
Physical body – we are all familiar with this one. Don’t get the idea that
because it’s the lowest on the scale that it isn’t worth looking after.
Remember you can’t operate on the physical plane without it.

Warning

Using the term
Mental Body outside Theosophical circles causes misunderstandings.

This is a Law of
Cause and Effect operating throughout the Universe at every level of existence.
Yes, it’s even operating down your street and it doesn’t go to sleep.

Theosophy says that
Karma is a teaching method and there’s no such thing as good or bad Karma but
for all practical purposes if you give out £5 worth of misery then you’ll get
£5 worth of misery back – eventually.

A definitive work written
by Helena Petrovna Blavatsky, the inventor of modern Theosophy. This is
Theosophy’s biggest book and if you actually study it then you are in serious
danger of becoming a real Theosophist.

There are two
things you should know about the Secret Doctrine;

1) It’s a big book

2) It’s not very
easy to read for beginners

Fortunately there’s
probably enough introductory and intermediate stuff freely available on the
internet to keep you going for about five years. After that, The Secret
Doctrine will probably be a doddle.

There is also a
Heavy Metal album called

The Secret Doctrinerecorded by Swedish band Morgana Lefay in 1993.
Some of the tracks on this album have strong Theosophical leanings (and some
don’t).

Ascended Masters

This generally
refers to the two incredibly spiritually advanced guys, Moriah and Koot Hoomi
who lived in the Himalayas and gave H P Blavatsky her esoteric knowledge so
that she could convey it to the world.

Ascended Masters
are humans who have reached a much higher state of spiritual consciousness than
most of us can comprehend but they remain human.

Beings Above Us
& Beings Below Us

As humans, we are
on one rung of the evolutionary ladder. It has taken us long cosmic period to
move up through the lower rungs of this ladder and in future era we will move
up through the higher ones. Again, the time spans are exponential.

We call these rungs
of the ladder “Kingdoms of Nature” and this is a familiar term. Theosophy takes
the concept a bit further by including levels of existence that fall outside
the physically recognized kingdom
of Human, Animal,
Vegetable and Mineral.

The idea also that
the Mineral Kingdom is evolving may also seem strange to some, but Theosophy
postulates that there is no dead matter in the Universe and that everything is
evolving.

Kingdoms of Nature

There are 10
kingdoms of nature each occupying a rung on the evolutionary ladder. Promotion
consists of each Kingdom moving up one rung at once after incredibly long
periods of time. However, unlike the local football team, we cannot be
relegated.

From the top these are:-

The 3 Dhyani-Chohanic Kingdoms

Dhyani-Chohans (Sanskrit-Tibetan) The Lords of
Meditation. There are 3 types with several sub-divisions and they function in a
hierarchy. In Christianity they appear as Archangels. They supervise the cosmos
and they operate on higher planes than our physical plane.

All religious systems seem to have some concept of the
Higher Being.

The HumanKingdom

Some regard us as a section of the Animal Kingdom or
even animals burdened by intelligence at Darwin
postulated.

Theosophy makes a clear distinction between the Human
and Animal kingdoms. Humans have acquired a level of consciousness and self
awareness which gives them a level of self determination in both their own
personal evolution and that of the Human race as a whole.

Our self consciousness gives us a lot of advantages
and a lot of responsibility as well

The Animal Kingdom

Plant or Vegetable Kingdom

The Mineral Kingdom

The Mineral is the lowest of the visible kingdoms on
the evolutionary scale.

The 3 Elemental Kingdoms

There are 3 classes of Elemental at different levels
of consciousness with innumerable divisions within those classes. They cannot
normally be seen. Elementals
work behind the scenes and they directly affect what goes on in the world.

Again, many
traditions recognize elemental beings in some form.

_________________________

The Universe (well, some of it)

What’s the
difference between the Universe and a Nissan Micra?

This is an easy
one;

Whereas a Nissan
Micra is constructed from parts, the Universe is all one thing.

Nissan Micra

One single life
force animates the universe, so you don’t have to put petrol in, and all beings
and forms are derived from this single source.

Death

To a Theosophist
Death is not really an end game but the start of a period of transition between
the current human life and the next one.

First, at the point
of Death, you get a free show in the form of a review of the life just live.
This is completely objective and you can’t delude yourself. It’s also from the point
of view of the world and how your life has affected it.

You then move on to
Kama Loka – where your earth life baggage and attributes are dissolved and you
move up through what is known as the Astral Plane. If you are very
materialistic and find it difficult to let go of earth life you can get held up
here longer than necessary. Being very negative can get you stuck in the lower
realms of the Astral Plane with some rather unsympathetic entities you are
better off not meeting.

Once you’ve got
through this stage you get another review

You then move into
Devachan, which is a state (not a place) of bliss in which positive aspirations
of the previous life are fulfilled. This is the closest thing Theosophy has to
Heaven but unfortunately you can’t stay there, you have to come back.

You choose the
circumstances of your next birth according to your evolutionary learning needs
but you only get the best circumstances available.