David Cameron’s Tory ‘bonding session’ — but nobody wants to bond

For most U.K. MPs Thursday afternoons spell the end of their week in Westminster and the start of the long trudge back to their constituencies.

Not so this week, when warring tribes of the ruling Conservative Party have been asked to delay their trips home to attend a special away-day “bonding session” with the prime minister near his Witney constituency deep in rural Oxfordshire.

The secretive overnight gathering at the Crown Plaza Hotel near Chipping Norton, set on the grounds of the 440 acre, Downton Abbey-style Heythrop Park estate, had been intended to bring the party together ahead of next month’s elections.

Months in the planning, Number 10 was keen not to lose momentum from 2015’s stunning general election triumph. Yet, less than a year later, the Tory hierarchy is struggling even to convince its MPs to show up, such is the animosity generated by the EU referendum.

“No doubt there will be plenty of free booze” — Conservative MP

“The last thing I want to do is spend my spare time with these people,” one Tory backbencher staying away from the gathering told POLITICO. Another texted, incredulously, to say: “I am most definitely not going on the away day!”

Number 10 hopes the one-night gathering will allow Tory MPs to “bond,” taking some of the sting out the increasingly poisonous civil war in the party over Europe.

The newest intake of MPs, elected at the 2015 general election, were busy boarding trains Thursday morning having received a text message from party management instructing them to arrive at the Oxfordshire estate by 1pm, two hours before everyone else turns up at 3pm.

One Euroskeptic MP told POLITICO: “I think we are being sent to be re-programmed! I’m intrigued to see what they have in store for us.”

Number 10 has deliberately kept MPs in the dark about what to expect at the gathering, fearing it would immediately leak. MPs have been told the dress code is “casual” but have not been given any more details, except that there won’t be any mobile phone reception. “It’s to stop us tweeting,” one MP said.

At previous away-days guest speakers have been invited along to rally the troops. In November 2014 Cameron’s Australian election guru Lynton Crosby and the U.S. political adviser Jim Messina gave presentations on the strategy to defeat Ed Miliband in the general election. In September 2013 the New Zealand premier John Key was the star guest.

MPs attending this year’s gathering, however, are expecting a rather more dull affair with only the prime minister and his close friend, Lord Feldman — the Conservative Party chairman — expected to speak.

A senior backbench MP said he could not see who they could ask to attend who would not immediately enrage one side or the other over Europe. “It’s difficult to cast someone that neutral,” he said.

“It will be the usual — a few talks from the PM and party chairman and dinner with colleagues,” another MP said.

Bad timing

A number of Euroskeptic MPs are boycotting the event altogether.

One Tory MP, who is going, said: “It’s ridiculous timing, I can’t see there being much ‘bonding’ with the EU referendum round the corner. There’s still a huge amount of anger about the leaflet [setting out the case for staying in the EU, sent by the government to all U.K. households]. They would’ve been much better off delaying it until July if you ask me.”

Another MP attending added: “It was always in the diary — it’s just unfortunate timing.”

“There’s going to be people like me, campaigning to leave, and those in the government. It’s going to be interesting to see what the mood is going to be like. It could be like an episode of [TV show] the Office — it will be amusing if it is.”

But one MP shunning the get-together told POLITICO there was no point attending because the leadership no longer even pretends to listen to Conservative backbench views.

“I think we see enough of each other in the House of Commons to be honest with you,” he said. “A lot of colleagues aren’t going — it doesn’t seem like an appropriate time to bond when there is so much disagreement.”

“In reality the communication doesn’t exist between backbenchers and the senior people. There isn’t the pro-active engagement between them and us — they are on auto-pilot to be honest with you,” he added.

‘The focus will be on campaigns and how to outfox Labour” — Number 10 source

A Number 10 source described these events as “standard” and said they take place every 14 or 15 months. The gathering in Oxfordshire will be paid for out of Conservative Party funds and Downing Street expects “most of the Parliamentary party” to be there for discussions that will include local elections, the referendum and how to bury Labour’s reputation ahead of 2020.

“We do them as a bonding exercise. The focus will be on campaigns and how to outfox Labour, cement our current position. But the priority is to get together and do a bit of bonding,” said the source. “I think everyone needs to do a bit of bonding — companies etc — it’s not unusual.”

The source added: “It’s about how we continue the campaign while we are in government. Pushing the message all the time. Sometimes people forget that.”

The problem for many MPs attending tonight is not that they are shy pushing “the message” — it’s that they fundamentally disagree on what that message should be. As one MP told POLITICO: “It’s going to be interesting to say the least.”