Sometime back, paid a visit to one of the uncles of my better half, who is a doc.
He was showing me his house, basement and then his daughter's house, saying 'It has 2 A/C units needed for such a large house'. He also had a Lexus SUV. And then went on, 'I educated my kids in private schools'. His kids are all docs now and one has married a not so famous Tollywood actress and based close to Dirty Pai. But he otherwise seemed to be a simple guy.

So, Big question - "Is he actually collecting all these material objects to enjoy them or just to show them off".

Putting the same question to the group. If you buy say, a high end car, would you do it MORE to show off or to enjoy it. (Most do it for both, but what is prominent)

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This is quite a game, politics. There are no permanent enemies, and no permanent friends,only permanent interests. - Some Firang

I visited a friend recently, had been asking me to visit since a long time. He's got a big 5 bedroom house in a medium sized city in south east. All the time I was there he was busy doing some work on the house. The lesson I got was.. buy a big house and work overtime for its upkeep, hope it sells for big money.

I think these things work on peer pressure and what others think.. all my friends with kids in 6th grade have houses, so I got to have one too.

This one gujju family wasn't buying a house even after being in US for 15 years.. same apartment for 12 years, friends would ridicule the family. Couple years back he made a down payment on the house half Mil. sabki bolti band.

This one gujju family wasn't buying a house even after being in US for 15 years.. same apartment for 12 years, friends would ridicule the family. Couple years back he made a down payment on the house half Mil. sabki bolti band.

That is being a bit oversafe and more so for a Gujju.
For 12 years, the rent has just gone out. If they had taken a home mortgage, the 12 year old rent would have substantially paid for it. Only reason i can think is that they wanted to be in a good school district.

Opposite example i know is one couple who took a house and then foreclosed it.

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This is quite a game, politics. There are no permanent enemies, and no permanent friends,only permanent interests. - Some Firang

Sometime back, paid a visit to one of the uncles of my better half, who is a doc.
He was showing me his house, basement and then his daughter's house, saying 'It has 2 A/C units needed for such a large house'. He also had a Lexus SUV. And then went on, 'I educated my kids in private schools'. His kids are all docs now and one has married a not so famous Tollywood actress and based close to Dirty Pai. But he otherwise seemed to be a simple guy.

So, Big question - "Is he actually collecting all these material objects to enjoy them or just to show them off".

Putting the same question to the group. If you buy say, a high end car, would you do it MORE to show off or to enjoy it. (Most do it for both, but what is prominent)

Isn't this the basic human trait? Why are you surprised by his behavior?

Every male tries to do things to separate themselves from the pack. Why do people prefer getting 'brand-name' education like Harvard and Yale, when you could get an equally good-quality education at lesser known names? Why do people buy Mercs and Beemers when they could get from point a to point b in a very reliable corolla?

My point is simple - all of us strive hard to elevate ourselves from the pack. It is ingrained into the psyche of Man to do what it takes to rise in a social order, when possible. People in higher social order draw the attention of females. Women fall for wealth and status and confidence and glory. They don't care about a male's looks. A male, on the other hand, looks at the woman's body and her attitude. He doesn't care as much about wealth and status etc.

^^
This male obviously became a doc to do well in life and had attracted his mate ages back too. he is showing off long after he has fulfilled his natural responsibility of nurturing too.

Same question for you. Did you buy Beemer (or was it Merc) More because you like driving it or because your acquantances burn with envy.

There is some degree of both. Obviously, the status associated with merc is a factor. It bolsters your confidence when you associate yourself with best of breed brands. Women notice it .. and I've noticed them noticing it.

There is some degree of both. Obviously, the status associated with merc is a factor. It bolsters your confidence when you associate yourself with best of breed brands. Women notice it .. and I've noticed them noticing it.

remembered something which should go to 'Office funnies', but posting it here. We used to have German classes in my first non cyber coolie PSU job. The teacher (a lady in 50s, but we thought she might have been quite good looking in her 20s) started a story on how she went in a Porsche in Germany with a friend of hers and then everyone was looking at the porsce. One of the guys to his neighbor "Was everyone looking at the car or the ladies inside it"?

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This is quite a game, politics. There are no permanent enemies, and no permanent friends,only permanent interests. - Some Firang

Desis do it for show-off. Goras/goris may do it too but their genetics are different. Desis' feel good factor is directly proportional to how low the others feel about it, how jealous they are etc. A gora may just "feel good" and thats just about it. The slave mentality differentiates West & East. Many (if not most) desis want to stay in west just so that they are "not at par" with their Indian relatives & acquaintances. It's disgusting reality. Sometimes it makes me feel ashamed. But yada yada yada.

On a side note, last week I went to a religious place in Haldwani(uttarakhand) called Haidakhan dham. It was a remote temple of Haidakhan baba (please lookup details or feel free to ask) in midst of hills & rivers. It had a large ashram (100s of rooms I think), a community hospital, school etc. for local populace nearby. There were so many westerners there that the ashram is operated & maintained by they themselves. They have created a nice little office for "westerners only" where they can enquire, buy books, book rooms, stay etc. It almost seemed like they have taken it over. Of course they didn't show any discriminatory behaviour or ownership attitude but they have created an office for "westerners only" for obvious reasons.

Desis have inferiority complex which is a vicious circle. They feel jealous of their own folks & feel good by their own's envy & jealousy. But yada yada yada....(But yes, being a desi is better tha being a true blood momin whose hypocrisy, slave mentality, inferiority complex are of a completely different level).

It’s all part of the game,..... social status ( log kya kahenge ) and indirect Bossism/Powers on others, and hold on the society.... by belittling others indirectly
and that’s is in our blood-dna,.. I am more richer than you, we are high-society, class people, modern society, educated class, Top-class, rich and filthy wealthy upper class,..… yada yada,..

People also evaluate you, on the power of Money, big house, way of dressing, walking talking and behaving,...expensive cars, and that’s what also brings...... high class family’s Grooms and Brides,…to your home.

A male wears good clothes to attract the other women,.. a women wears good clothes and jewels to jealous/envy the other women,… Kids love to say other kids, we have own pool, boat, Van, Jaguar, Lombardi, Lexus, Cadillac, Lincoln, Volvo, Saab and Ferrari,.. .. to other kids,..and these are the mindset of us people, even in the USA.

If your family have no Vans, no two car garage, No house with 6 bedrooms,.. no expensive brand cars, than have no value in desi society and typical desi thinks of us in a developing nation sort of stage…

My own view and perspective is polar opposite, and I have pin-pointed followed and maintained it till day,..

I love small houses - Less heating bills, Less property taxes, Less maintenance, Less insurances, Less water and sewer bills, Less free interest gone in the mortgage amounts, comfortable heating cooling,..… …

Comfortable size of small lawns - Not too much grass cutting slavery, EZ maintenance for nice and clean yard,.. No unwanted labor / burden of self-maintenance,..

I buy and use, used cars - Less Buying cost ( car Depreciates, buying a big house may be a gain, on later run, somewhere, but not the car ) , Less/no mortgage, Less pain or worry of any scratches and no heart-burns,,. Less insurance to pay,…

I save and save it wisely every penny, be it water, elec, sewer bills, heating bills, taxes, Insu. and everywhere,.. and give myself a favor,… when ther’s sale on Taco, Wendy or Pizaa hut,….. Movies, I go 10 times more often than any normal public goes,… I buy also lot of good thing from garage sales, and save a lot,… I also enjoy a lot when time comes, and spend it in the direction of my hobby,..

I save in the right direction and spend in a right way,… May others call me fool for not having brand cars and Big houses for showmanship,….. I ( who knows ) will take early retirement and live happy life of the rest useful years,… I enjoy 20 times more than others, in the field and direction, that I am interested,…. My hobby and musings are different,… I have my own standards and do not walk on others’ standard,…. That eye and mind-set ,… uun ko hi mubarak ho…

"No", to false showmanship,... No Go with the flow, in nay rat-race, where my mind does not agree,...

My kids grew up having highest nos. of Bikes/elec jeeps.. in my shed, loads of SEGA, NIntendo, Atari and all kind of games, Books, puzzle and loads of items, which I had bought from garage sales areas with high bargaining, and rest of his friends' parents had hardly 1-2 sega games, my kids had 150+...... and the same in every category, playing TT, Basketball, Toys, Trains, ...etc They enjoyed a lot lot more than other street kids, despite of our not so handsome income at that time,..

I live the way I like, whatever seems to me good, for the efficient life-style,.. and care not,......" What others may think " ?

It’s all part of the game, social status ( log kya kahenge ) and indirect Bossism on others, and hold on the society by belittling others indirectly and that’s is in our blood-dna,.. I am more richer than you, we are high-society, modern society, educated class,… yada yada,..

People also evaluate you on the power of Money, big house, expensive cars, and that’s what also brings high class family’s Grooms and brides,…

A male wears good clothes to attract the women,.. a women wears good clothes and jewels to jealous/envy the other women,… Kids love to say others, we have own pool, boat, Van,.. to other kids,..and these are the mindset of us people, even in USA.

If your family have no Vans, no two car garage, no expensive brand cars, than have no value in desi society and typical desi thinks of us in a developing nation sort of stage…

My own view and perspective is polar opposite, and I have pin-pointed followed I,t till day,..

I love small houses - Less heating bills, Less property taxes, Less maintenance, Less insurances, Less water and sewer bills, Less free interest gone in the mortgage, comfortable heating cooling,..… …

I buy and use, used cars - Less Buying cost ( car Depreciates, buying a big house may be a gain, on later run, somewhere, but not the car ) , Less/no mortgage, Les pain or worry of any scratches and heart-burns,,. Less insurance to pay,…

I save and save it wisely every penny, be it water, elec, sewer bills, heating bills, taxes and everywhere,.. and give myself a favor,… when ther’s sale on Taco, Wendy or Pizaa hut,… I go 10 times more often than any normal public goes,… I buy also lot good thing from garage sales, and save a lot,… I also enjoy a lot when time comes, and spend it in the direction of my hobby,..

I save in the right direction and spend in a right way,… May others call me fool for not having brand cars and Big houses for showmanship,….. I ( who knows ) will take early retirement and live happy life of the rest useful years,… I enjoy 20 times more than others, in the field and direction, that I am interested,…. My hobby and musings are different,… I have my own standards and do not walk on others’ standard,…. That eye and mind-set ,… uun ko hi mubarak ho…

No, to false showmanship,...

My kids grew up having highest nos of Bikes in my shed, loads of SEGA, NIntendo, Atari and all kind of games, Books, puzzle and loads of items i had bought from garage sales areas with high bargaining, and rest of his friends' parents had hardly 1-2 sega games, my kids had 150+...... and the same in every category, playing TT, Basketball, Toys, Trains, ...etc They enjoyed a lot than other street kids, despite of our not so handsome income at that time,..

This has nothing to do with desi/non-desi. I think some desis lack the courtesy to be polite to people who are less well off as they are. In the US, people are more civilized. However, the mindset is the same.

In India, the rich/poor divide is dramatic. Rich people teach their kids to keep away from poor people and not trust them. There are several social reasons for that.

In the US, there is an appearance of equality, but it is skin deep. There is a very clear class divide here too. A person is judged by the car he drives and the size of the house and the company/designation.

Isnt there a saying that men who have small d** tend to have big houses and bi cars.

Shaq has a hummer... are you saying that he has a small d**

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"Kisi ne sahi kaha zindagi kutti cheez hai. You live life without a care in the world not realizing that life is building a heavy load of trash that it dumps on you one fine day, breaking your back." - saneless

The Bengaluru IT czars had an opposite thing of deliberately appearing humble,
Apparently Azim premji moved around in a Corolla.

NRN used to stay in his Jayanagar house. Skeptics said it was to 'deliberately keep a low key simple humble image'
And one of my friends was gushing on how Nandan Nilekani in a meeting was writing with a Reynolds pen.

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This is quite a game, politics. There are no permanent enemies, and no permanent friends,only permanent interests. - Some Firang

Meanwhile CHakti, Did I mention one former Chief Justice of India also live in my neighborhood ?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dovahkiin

Did I mention that one of India's former defence/ finance/ foreign minister also live in my neighborhood ?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dovahkiin

Interesting fact would be that my family and relatives owns largest and most premium properties there My Family house has a 4 star hotel built on land less than half of it's size next to it, on probably most premium property.

If flats are created there, I would cost 5 crore for each 3 BHK and it can go for 17 story with each floor 18-20 flats

This now reminds me of my Bachcha log’s friend who frequently keeps bragging about his mom being a manager, and his possessions including a recently acquired mobile. Another kid once got fed up of his bragging and told him so. I told my Bachcha log to ignore what others have.

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This is quite a game, politics. There are no permanent enemies, and no permanent friends,only permanent interests. - Some Firang