~ stumbling through parenthood and discovering ME

When I was a good mom I would …

I have this friend who every time I see her we begin our “When I was good mom” conversations. Things crop up such as …

“When I was a good mom I would cuddle up in bed with my kids each night, read them a story, tuck them in, and tell them how much I love them. Some times I would even sing them each a special song.” Those words were always followed by a “But Now” statement to go with it. The “But Now” that usually accompanies the above sentences is something like, “but now I’m either too lazy, too grumpy, to headachy or too sleepy from the wine I drank earlier to tuck them in, so I kiss and hug them goodnight from the couch and let their father do the rest.”

It’s scary to look back and see what a good mom I was then:

When I was a good mom I used to have fun doing crafts with the kids, now I just point them in the direction of the art closet and wish them well.

When I was a good mom I would always send in tasty treats for school parties and birthdays, now (if I even remember) I settle for a couple of containers of those store bought “fresh from the bakery” chocolate chip cookies. If my kids are lucky I’ll even buy the ones with M&Ms.

There’s plenty of more where that came from, and I plan to share them with all of you every now and them. I thought you might like a few today so you could all kick of your weekend with a smile (and be thankful you’re still a good mom). Or are you? I’d love to hear.

When I was a good mom I would never have lost my child in a store or a small playgroup for that matter, now I loose them at basketball games, in the woods (yes, that was only a couple weeks ago), and even in our house.

When I was a good mom, I wouldn’t dare miss a sporting event, school concert, or any other parents-are-expected-to-be-there event. Yesterday my husband and I blew off my daughter’s Opening Night of “Once Upon a Mattress” to go out to dinner since the boys also had baseball practice. Not to mention, we forgot to pick her up at the school and someone else had to bring her home. Ugh.

When I was a good mom I would never let my kids stay inside on a nice day like today (it’s 70 degrees out with blue skies). Now as long as they’re not bothering me and I can have some time to myself, play those video games, watch your horse videos on YouTube, just let me savor this glass of wine by myself.

When I was a good mom, I’d never drink alone. Now … well …

Happy Friday Everyone!

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3 thoughts on “When I was a good mom I would …”

this is so funny. I’ve definitely had nights where I stay downstairs and my husband puts the baby to bed. But you know, there’s another way to look at it! We can’t always be “super mom,” even moms deserve a bit of time to chill out every now and then. This is part of what contributes to mommy guilt; we think we have to be perfect and available every second of the day! No one can do that. 🙂

I know you have heard this before – my sociology teacher in college said, ” being a good mother is knowing when to let your children cross the road alone.” Part of this is growing pains for you and them – maybe it isn’t that you have fallen, but you are preparing them to become competent, independent, teenagers …… college students…. partners. . . parents. Just something to think about as I at 62 could also name things I would do differently, but . . . I am very proud of the mother’s my two daughters have become. (I now have a sticky “m” not “i”

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Meet Kelly

In the midst of watching my three young kids begin to define who they were in the world, I finally took time to discover myself ... and was surprised by what I found. If along this long winding bumpy road we call parenthood you've forgotten who you are, perhaps this blog will help you find your way back.