Some Russians Crammed A Jet Turbine Into A Van, And Not Because They’re Crazy

Russia is a… different place. It’s basically Florida with more snow and Ivan Drago instead of Voldemort as its iron-fisted ruler. But Russians are also a practical people. It’s just that their practicality can be a bit… extreme.

Take, for example, a standard van at the airport. It seems normal, and then you open it up to discover there’s a freaking jet turbine inside of it. Just to clarify, this is a turbine designed to push things far, far heavier than a van so fast they start defying gravity.

So, why the hell would they do this? Because it’s the most efficient way to warm up a jet. Seriously. Here’s the reasoning, from Google Translate and LiveJournal. Remember, this is funnier if you read it in a thick Russian accent.

But in fact, on the aircraft is not only the main engines. To the parking lot worked hydraulic systems, air conditioning, provides electricity and other aircraft systems to run irrationally powerful and voracious main engines. Therefore, on the aircraft engine is smaller – the auxiliary power unit, abbreviated as MAT.

In other words, the entire job of this van is to drive around, hook up to airplanes, and run a jet turbine so the plane doesn’t shut down. You have to marvel at the mixture of ingenuity and sheer stupidity; this handily solves the problem, but if one thing goes wrong on this beast, you will have a very short, very fast ride to the first vertical surface you’re pointed towards.

On the other hand, as ways to die go, “accident with your jet engine van” is probably only about mid-range weird for Russia. And if you survive, it’d be a hell of a thing to put on your dating site.

Actually, to be nitpicky, that looks like it’s more for troubleshooting and diagnostics. We had similar equipment in the Air Force, and you’ve almost undoubtedly seen something similar if you’ve ever looked out the window while on the ground at an airport. It’s just that, in this country, we tend to tow that equipment, rather than have it be self-propelled.

Basically, it’s a cheaper, safer way to provide “bleed air” and electricity to the aircraft without firing up any of the full-size engines.