American Fathers 4Change with a mission of helping to bring awareness that by increasing the proportion of children growing up with involved, responsible, and committed fathers it will improve the well being of children.

"The man as he converses is the lover; silent, he is the husband." ~ Honore de Balzac

Tuesday

The modern day father comes in various forms. Today’s father is no longer always the traditional married breadwinner and disciplinarian in the family. He can be single or married; externally employed or stay-at home; gay or straight; an adoptive or step-parent; and a more than...

Monday

With much chest-thumping, Gov. Rick Scott last week signed a law clipping auto-tag fees by about $25 per vehicle in Florida. He used the opportunity to blast former Gov. Charlie Crist for raising those fees five years ago.

What Scott cynically failed to mention during the bill-signing charade was that all the top Republicans standing at his side had also supported the auto-tag hikes. It was the depth of the recession, and the state desperately needed revenue.

Scott is desperate to appear gubernatorial because Crist, running as a Democrat, will likely be his opponent in the November election. The auto-tag fee cut was the centerpiece of a tax-relief agenda being pushed by the governor, who trails Crist in the early polls.

They can shape a law that saves actual lives — the lives of endangered children.

Bills that would strengthen Florida's child welfare laws are winding through both houses of the Legislature after publication of the Miami Herald's shocking investigative series, "Innocents Lost."

The newspaper documented the deaths of at least 477 children whose parents or caregivers had a history with the state's Department of Children and Families. During the six-year period studied by reporters, DCF consistently under-reported the number of victims in its files who died because of violence or negligence by parents and caregivers.

In 2008, for example, the state said the death toll was 79. Using DCF's own records,Herald reporters found 103 fatal cases that year.

Then, in 2009, the state reported that 69 children whose families had prior contact with DCF had died. Reporters counted 107.

The uncounted die just as wretchedly — and as unnecessarily — as the counted.

One of the most awful, notorious cases involved Nubia Barahona, a 10-year-old Miami girl who'd been tortured and starved by her adoptive parents. Soaked in poisonous chemicals, her decomposing body was found inside a black garbage bag on a pest-control truck.

Three years after the murder, the DCF still hasn't sent her case to the Florida Child Abuse Death Review Committee. Incredibly, Nubia's death remains officially uncounted.

The child-welfare system has been overwhelmed and broken for a long time, but that hasn't stopped lawmakers from hacking millions in DCF funding. But this year, Florida has accumulated an extra $1.3 billion in revenues, so there's no excuse not to take action to stop the killings.

Scott has proposed $40 million to hire more DCF investigators and improve their training. That's a start, but drug-treatment and counseling programs are also needed for those who've been allowed to keep their children while under supervision.

The sad truth is there aren't enough good foster homes to let the state move all the kids now living with reckless parents in high-risk situations. In recent years, the DCF has bent over backwards to hold dysfunctional families intact, too often with lethal consequences.

In 83 cases found by the Herald, a little boy or girl died after one or more parents had signed a so-called "safety plan" pledging to take better care of the child. The Senate version of the reform bill aims to make these safety plans more than just a piece of paper. The measure would require prompt and complete reporting of certain child deaths, and offer tuition-aid incentives for social workers who want to become child-abuse investigators.

Still, the Senate bill provides only $31 million in extra funding for child protection. The House version calls for $44.5 million.

"It's tragic where Florida finds itself," Weatherford said last week.

He and Gaetz have the clout — and a moral obligation — to make other lawmakers understand the profound urgency of DCF reform. Children who are known to be in danger are dying, and the state can't even properly count how many.

With $1.3 billion in unanticipated revenue lying around, the governor and Legislature can afford to invest more than a drop in the bucket to help Florida's most helpless children.

Lowering auto-tag fees by 25 bucks might be cause for giddy back-slapping in Tallahassee, but saving even one child from a tortuous death would be a more noble accomplishment.

Deborah Leff Israel founded the Florida chapter of the Second Wives Club, now called the Florida Women for Alimony Reform. Deborah explains alimony changes are needed to weed out people who truly need longer term support from those who are able-bodied and can work but get away without doing so–because of the law.

Lawyers.com videojournalist Amber Statler-Matthews reports on the changes in alimony law, looming in the horizon.

Deborah reconnected on Facebook with a friend, whom she had not seen for 26 years. They fell in love and were engaged in 2010. Three years later, they are still engaged. That’s because Deborah realized if she married her fiance and he fell into financial hardship — the permanent alimony granted to his ex-wife could become her responsibility.

Deborah’s club is part of a growing, national movement to reform alimony laws. The women in the group believe permanent alimony is wrong for several reasons:

The alimony checks continue until the payee remarries, even if the payor becomes sick or retires.

Increasing lifespans and co-habitation mean payments get extended much longer.

Family law attorney, Lori Barkus, says new legislation, which creates uniformity and gives people standards and guidelines, is needed. She feels the laws should also allow judge’s discretion, in cases that warrant it.

Durational alimony allowing enough time for a long-term homemaker to establish a career, then payments should end.Reformers are pushing for the following:

Alimony based on established formulas that take into account the length of the marriage, and the age of supported spouse.

A set date for payments to end.

Removal of judicial discretion on the payment terms.

Women are now making up larger numbers in the workforce. A recent study shows that 40% of married women out earn their husbands. Change in alimony is coming.

Thursday

"Statesmen, my dear Sir, may plan and speculate for liberty, but it is religion and morality alone, which can establish the principles upon which freedom can securely stand. The only foundation of a free Constitution is pure virtue, and if this cannot be inspired into our People in a greater Measure than they have it now, they may change their rulers and the forms of government, but they will not obtain a lasting liberty." -- John Adams (1735-1826) Founding Father, 2nd US President June 21, 1776 Source: letter to Zabdiel Adams, 21 June 1776, (Reference: Our Sacred Honor, Bennett (371)) htt... more »

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"So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide. Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and grovel to none. When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself. Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision. When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home." (Tecumseh).

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Fathers have become undervalued, family structure has become disposable, children suffer without both parents but so often father is left out, seen as nonessential. Let's correct this by bringing attention to it! We're happy to populate the Internet with information that is helpful, supportive, and conducive to fostering father-child relationships, reducing or eliminating Parental Alienation, for the betterment of our children's psychological and emotional health, and for the future health of our families and societies.

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