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Called one of the “25 Very Smart Business Women to Follow on Twitter” and one of the “20 Social Media Divas You Should Be Following”, Allen Mireles is a social media marketing and public relations strategist, trainer and public speaker. A total “Twitterhead“, Mireles can and will talk your ear off about the wonders of, and practical applications for, social media in today’s lagging economy.

Allenmireles is a moderator of:

I think you may be onto something here, Arik. I find myself unplugging over the weekends and more and more often during the day, as work and the demands of real-people-in-front-of-me take precedence. (And I'm waaay older than you are, so I fit into the + part of that equation.)

It isn't that I don't still love tech, don't still drool over the next shiny thing and don't wish I could learn more-faster-better. I just also appreciate the non-tech world of nature and beguiling idiosyncrasies of the humans and animals I love.

@AmyVernon@allenmireles Yep, you're right. You cannot force someone to want to be your friend. Not online and not IRL.

I think we tend to get carried away in our online friendships and it can be a shocking experience, when someone we thought we knew or we thought really liked us, cuts us loose. And in truth? There are many ways to distance yourself from someone in your social network without going all drastic and unfriending.

Having said that? It's liked getting fired from a job. Everyone should enjoy that fine experience too--at least once in their lives. Provides great learning. ;)

Amy, great topic. It happens all the time and people are continually struggling to understand what the "right thing to do" is. People's reasons for unfriending range from thoughtful decisions to eliminate people they no longer feel comfortable with to petty and impulsive acts of anger. And everything in between. It always says more about what's going on in their lives and inside their heads than it does the other person, IMHO.

I had this happen not long ago, out of the blue, and I reached out immediately to the person who unfriended me. It didn't make any difference. She was determined to stay "unfriends", which is her right, of course. I find my days still happily full without her so perhaps it was all to the good. ;)

I also unfriended someone I know in real life recently because it felt false to stay connected online when we are no longer IRL. In this case, it was all about me and very little about her--and I suspect she hasn't even noticed. I certainly don't wish her ill, I also don't want to see her updates any longer.

Your prescription for follow up is perfect. I would add that, after giving it time, if they no longer want to communicate, you may well be better off. That has actually been my experience over the past few years.

I've always found it disconcerting when I have performed to an audience not listening to me. But you're right, Bob, you do have to bring your best and deliver with the passion and love for the song and for music. And sometimes, that wakes up the audience. When it doesn't?You still walk away knowing you've given your best.

And nice mention by Mr. Brogan. I hadn't known about that post, Pepe. :)

I fell down the rabbit hole in this post and the multiple responses and feel pretty lucky to have done. Great and thoughtful discussion. Excellent post (as usual). I've also (course not recently) been the "booth babe" and the one passed over in meetings and conversations for the superior counsel of the males in the room. It has always been a fact of my life as a woman in business and I'm glad you all are raising the issue for discussion.

This happened to me last year and then again just the other night. After sleeping on it and thinking it through the next day, I unfriended, unfollowed and disconnected from the relationship altogether. Not to be hateful or punitive, but to move forward without the negativity. I don't ever do it lightly but there have been times where continuing with an online (or offline) relationship doesn't make any sense.

April Teeter, thanks for posting your comment about your personal experiences working at Hertz. (Not sure where it went, though.)

I think it's great that you come out in support of Hertz and that you go above and beyond in your work there. Well done. My issue is less with the individual employee than it is with Hertz Corporate and its training and policies. I have been fortunate enough to have a chance to express this directly to Hertz and they have assured me they are working on making changes, and that the employee involved will not be penalized for this incident.

If they take my family's experience seriously, and do look at their training and policies and make some changes--we all win. I hope this ends up being the case!

@Frank_Strong@Danny Brown@Hertz As it turns out, it wasn't a manager. Someone from Hertz called last night to apologize and explained it was untrained staff. Not a manager. We had a good and civil conversation and he stated that the issue had been escalated to the highest level.

So we'll see what that yields. I told him we didn't hold the employee responsible but did hold Hertz Corporate responsible. He conceded and apologized very graciously.

@PeterShankman Wow. I would have furious as well. Certainly, they will be paying attention since you have such a large audience. Did you get any response from your tweet? I did, but I felt like the people doing their socmed were unable to provide anything other than restating the company's corporate policy. I'd be interested to hear if you experienced something better or different on that front.

@AmyVernon@allenmireles We tend to forget that every day new people enter the conversations online. Many of them are clueless about what is perceived to be acceptable online behavior. Your posts are so helpful in presenting a gentle nudge in the right direction for these souls. ;)

This is a good one, Amy. I'm so glad you've taken it on. I don't play any of the those games and really have no interest in being invited to participate--over and over and over and over. You have done a #publicservice with this post!

This is both really helpful and terribly annoying, Amy. It sounds like something I am late in using as a tactic so I am grateful for the nudge your post gives me to get going on it. On the hand, and here's terribly annoying part: I was out looking for another thing to do. ;)

Danny, I was so glad to see that you were writing about bullying in social media today. I have been greatly troubled by the increasing levels of vitriol expressed in online communication. One of the most important things any of us, who use social media and digital tools to communicate, can do is to take a stand against the growing tie of online violence and ugliness.

Bullying is wrong. In any medium, against any person, of any age.

So it's up to those of us who understand this and accept the responsibility, to model responsible "grown up" online behavior-- for the kids and for the adults. Especially for the kids, who pay close attention to what we do, online and offline.

What a fabulous idea @Lindsay. I have admired your plucky attitude about having the Bells Palsy from the first minute you mentioned it (and through the subsequent weeks and iterations of facial contortions). Turning it into a post with business-related applications is just so good. And, so you. I think the Spin Sucks community will have a field day with this one!

@JoeCardillo@allenmireles He was just convinced he was right and had been treated poorly. So the end result felt like troll behavior but I think his intent was shine the light of best practices--or something. He did get kinda stuck in the "mud of self-righteousness" though. Poor dude. ;)

Gini's post today highlights the importance of having a strong community, as do the subsequent comments from everyone reading it. Community matters. Especially when something like this starts to develop. What this guy couldn't believe is that none of us are liars and we don't rush blindly to support someone who has done something wrong. Which is why I stepped and commented right away to assure him he was wrong. I'm so silly. I expect to be believed when I say something.

I found myself shaking my head in disbelief as the situation developed, and I still marvel at the way the accuser has refused to back down. I ran Yvette's post through not one, but several, tools that check for plagiarism. This guy's post never showed up. So when I assured him that no such transgression had occurred, I really thought he would accept it and be appeased by the link to his post. Not so much, though and he kept going on about it. Which makes me wonder, what has happened to online use of common sense, practicality, and civility? *shakes head in wonder*

In the long run, controversy and attention may drive traffic to your website or blog. But it doesn't necessarily sell your professional services. So, this whole kerfluffle works well as a "learning experience" for those of us who are open to learning and an example of the power of a strong community.

What a beautiful post @Shonali. Racism and ignorance are alive and well, sadly. As one half of a cross-cultural marriage and the mother of two boys, who have been treated poorly based on their appearances, I am keenly aware of this reality. Going through life with the expectation of fair treatment is your right, as it is mine, my sons', my husband's and any other human being. You lead by example when you embrace this mindset, when you appreciate the similarities and the differences in each of the human being you encounter. Well done.

@william_ruz Hey William, I can appreciate your concern that you be credited for your work, when that is appropriate. We have very high standards at Arment Dietrich and I can assure you that none of us would ever plagiarize another author's work. That there are similarities between the two posts may well be due to the fact that many people are addressing this topic online. I found another post, with similarities, that Yvette also did not plagiarize: http://www.people-results.com/introverted-networking-tips-building-quality-relationships/#.UYrJtytAS34. I agree with Yvette, after having read your post, that it's a good one and well worth sharing.

I love this post. It resonates. A permanent change I will make, I am making? To cut way back on the comparisons to others and to beef up the appreciation for my own gifts and talents. Thank you for putting words to some of the same thoughts that have been wandering through my mind these past fews days.

I am so delighted with your inclusion of creativity in solving business problems. The ability to think creatively and to think on our feet is essential in developing effective solutions for clients and even in navigating this fast changing and uber-connected world of ours. I'm sorry I could see the keynote. I'm sure you were magnificent, my friend.

Andrew, I don't think we can talk about this stuff too much and I appreciated your post today. So many people are still trying to understand what all of this means and how it impacts their jobs or businesses. Thanks so much for explaining and nice to meet you here!

Really appreciated this post, Mike. Your tips to "survive the new CMO challenge" are excellent and really could be used across the board as guidelines for other agency/client relationships. Glad to have read this!

It's enough to make your head spin, isn't it, @SaraJean0? And the thing that makes me crazy is things just KEEP changing. Some days I want to shout "Could we all just STOP for a few days so I can catch up?". Great post. Nice to meet you here. :)