How To Pick A Baby Name Without Picking A Fight

You and your partner are already at each other's throats over your first big parenting decision: a name for baby. Here are a few tips to ensure you (both) get your way.

Photo: Sarah Merians Photography & Video Company

You and your partner are already at each other's throats over your first big parenting decision: a name for baby. Here are a few tips to ensure you (both) get your way.

The little one's arrival is months away, but you and your partner are already at each other's throats over your first big parenting decision: a name for baby. So what to do when your partner hates your favorite name? Here are a few tips to ensure you (both) get your way.

Pick your battlesHow important is it, really? "With all the names out there, do you like this one enough to risk placing a lasting strain on your marriage?" asks Jeff Palitz, a marriage and family therapist in San Diego. "If the name is really outrageous and your husband is dead set against it, you might want to compromise.

Create a win-win situationRemember that both of you need to be happy with your choice. "In every relationship there are occasions where one party wins, but too many of them create the opportunity for resentment within a marriage," says Palitz. "You don't want to be arguing ten years from now and have your husband blurt out, 'You named our child Apple!'"

Be prepared to compromise something big What bargaining points can you pull out? In order to get, you sometimes need to give.... and in this case, it better be something he really wants. "This isn't what's for dinner — its long term," explains Palitz. Yes, we're talking about that big screen TV that will completely dwarf the living room.

Work togetherIf you husband consistently vetoes your choices, ask him to supply a reasonable alternative. Maybe the problem is that he's feeling left out of the process. "Have you sat down with a baby names book and flipped through it together?" asks Jeff. If not, it's time to start. By brainstorming side by side you'll be less likely to form separate camps and have a better chance of finding the perfect name... together.