Running Off At The Electronic Mouth, No. XV

I think I’ve said this before, but I’m going to make these stream-of-consciousness posts a weekly occurrence. I’m going to do it, dammit!

I don’t know what happened to Taj Gibson, but it’s amazing to see how he’s transformed since when I was watching him at USC. He was never this ferocious on the court. His final dunk in tonight’s Game 1 versus Miami was a clear “Take that with you!” moment.

Tonight’s Heat-Bulls game gave me a lot of pleasure, not just because I wanted to see the Heat lose, but also because I watched the beatdown with a bunch of people, including some woman who said she was rooting for the Heat and hated the Lakers. Harmless enough.

Why, I asked. She said the Lakers today are “too Hollywood,” too busy doing commercials. Totally unlike the Heat. She said the Lakers of the ’80s were better than these Lakers today because they “weren’t Hollywood” and were paid less. This woman had to be in her 60s, but it was really hard for me to not tell her she’s a bad combination of ignorant/crazy.

Speaking of the Heat, it makes no sense for LeBron James to apologize about the “Decision” now or really ever. He’s not mending any fences in Cleveland. That city still and will apparently always believe LeBron stood them up at the altar. Everyone outside of Ohio basically sees the apology as a PR move. He should just answer his own question and accept his role as a villain.

In that marriage analogy, the city of Cleveland is a bride, not a groom. I think that’s obvious.

Maybe I haven’t been listening enough, but has anyone anywhere even hinted that Shannon Brown slept with Pau Gasol’s girlfriend? All that statement did was stir up a dead story, create the possibility that Brown did indeed sleep with Gasol’s girlfriend, and Brown give some ‘esplaining to do to Monica. Yeah, the singer. Remember her? I had no idea those kids got tied.

Harmon Killebrew = man. The sadness that will come on the day Killebrew passes has been lessened by the tremendous courage he showed us this week. It will be sad, but it won’t be shocking. We will mourn for a period and then realize that Killebrew went out on his own terms and with a hell of a lot of dignity. That’s a pretty small group right there. I hope I am as fortunate.

So, instead of spending time trying to deal with the reality of him no longer being a part of this life, we can spend that time talking more about just how good of a player and a person he was.

Diamondbacks rookie pitcher Josh Collmenter was very impressive as he picked up the win in his first MLB start Saturday against the Dodgers. But I didn’t really notice until afterward; I was mesmerized by his windup. To me, it looks like a mixture of Brandon Webb and Chris Young. I would advise Collmenter to schedule his season-ending, career-threatening shoulder injury as soon as possible.

Aroldis Chapman is struh-guh-ling. He allowed four runs on four walks and no hits Sunday. In his last four appearances, Chapman has faced 19 batters, walked 12 of them and allowed 10 earned runs. But the following has to be the stat of the week:

In those four games, Chapman threw 92 pitches. Thirty-three of them were strikes. I’ve never heard of such a ridiculous strike-ball split. It’s a little sad to watch because you can see Chapman isn’t throwing relatively hard — I didn’t see him top 96 on the FOX radar gun Sunday — in an effort to get something over the plate. But he just can’t do it. His problems have a palpable Ankielian feel to them.

Didn’t see that coming. And by that, I mean you could have seen that coming from 30 miles away. Whether shoulder inflammation is just a placeholder or the actual physical cause of Chapman’s wildness, it’s best for Aroldis to take a break. I think his head is more screwed up than his arm right now.

It’s suicide to question Tiger Woods’ effort, but when you heard that he withdrew from the Players Championship on Thursday, did you have any flashbacks to how Woods toughed it out and won the 2008 U.S. Open with a shredded knee and a fractured tibia? He’s certainly injured, but I also think he doesn’t really want to be on a course right now.

It’s that time of year when I start watching the NHL, get drawn into its playoff atmosphere, bash myself for not taking in more hockey during the regular season and promise myself that I will do so next year.

But I won’t.

In my opinion, you can take Red Sox-Yankees, Game 7 in the NBA playoffs, Heat-Bulls, the NHL playoffs and shove it. This week was dominated by a clumsy-looking turtle and a honey badger. If you don’t get that second reference, just look up “honey badger” on YouTube. It’s a day-maker.