I hope I'm not dealing into territory that's too strong for housepets pg rating.*goes back to read down on the farm, re-thinks*

On a side note, I got to 800 words and thought, 'it's 3000-7000 words right?' So I had to re-look at the rules just to make sure. I'll probably just write my story. Then word count. Snip some parts off and submit the edited portion. Then put the rest as a fanfic. Can we do that?

Dude, 3000-7000 was a rough estimate of what I was hoping for it to come out as. If you think that it would be better longer, go for it because I might end up agreeing with you.

Thought cutting out unnecessary parts is sort of desired in the editing phase

_________________I'm sure the cold hand of science will be able to overcome his magical powers

Sat Nov 13, 2010 2:03 am

valerio

Game Master

Joined: Mon May 25, 2009 6:53 amPosts: 18175Location: Italy

Re: Contest! Finish "All the King's Men"

xhunterko Wrote:

I hope I'm not dealing into territory that's too strong for housepets pg rating.*goes back to read down on the farm, re-thinks*

On a side note, I got to 800 words and thought, 'it's 3000-7000 words right?' So I had to re-look at the rules just to make sure. I'll probably just write my story. Then word count. Snip some parts off and submit the edited portion. Then put the rest as a fanfic. Can we do that?

I guess there's nothing wrong with that, just remember that any reference inside the portion you'll put up can't relate to your fanfic, as ATKM is supposed to be official material for the site. Good luck!

I should try this, I could try this, I would try this, But I don't think I will. Even though writing is what I do I just don't think I can finsh this story in a way that would do it justice. My stories have a little more drama in them than is called for here, and whatever I wrote would probably be far to long and have to much of a plot for the endevor.

There has got to be more then two entries! It's not a contest with just three or four. What's up with you people? You guys do this all the time in roleplay! Come on! Get on with it! I'm gonna finish mine maybe tomorrow, and then you guys got two weeks to smoke me. I wanna see some action going on here!*cracks whip*

(bout almost, almost halfway there with 5101 words and counting. I could have left it at one part, but it didn't feel like Housepets.)

Just curious but was this ever front paged? There might be a bit more interest in it I think. If it was already, just ignore me. You'd think people would jump to have their ideas submitted for possible cannon as well as being illustrated.

Okay, maybe not today, but probably tomorrow. I'm kicking myself to get this sucker done. I think I'm halfway and headed for the final stretch. I think. No, I'm not giving a word count this time. Apparently, I really want to tell this story. But if you want a length, think Shasha's spec scripts doubled.

Man, if it wasn't for Spo, my two stories would be unfunny. God, I love snarky characters. Anyway, I just need to finish the Thanksgiving portion of my version, and I'll be done. Hey, Rick! Do you mind if I just link the story from an appropriate website?

As Fox mumbles to himself over by the window of the living room after everyone decided to do something differently, he happened to mumble to himself that question he asked once before."Sure, they aren't all perfect, but when two of them are always paranoid about something..."

Surely enough, Fox came across the situation as something that's ironic about the ones he thinks about the most in terms of friends. Fox says to himself that he views Bino as a good leader like his brother Fido, but he also can't help but wonder why he's a jerk so many times. But at the same time, he views the same thing with King except minus the big shiny and not to mention awesome brother that Bino has.

In fact, Fox thinks to himself he finds King a good person in his own sense, though with a few personal problems. Trust is certainly one of them as he figured out just now and at the Dog's club this year. Despite these shortcomings though, as Fox sighs, he's certain there's more reasons behind them than just having a rough owner. From the story that King gave him, it was obvious that King's dad was one that sounded more like a mad scientist to dogs. He only heard stories like that about vets when he was young and it never really bothered him. Fox always saw the optimistic side of things and he always felt that was the right way to approach everyone in life.

"Maybe his Dad brainwashed him into thinking he's not a dog?"

Even Fox found that notion silly. And it certainly wasn't something he was planning to tell everyone in his life about his new friend King and his paranoid reasons. If anything, even Fox felt at this point there was too much to be paranoid about. After all, he basically announced he never sniffed anyone before. Fox really can't compare in his honest opinion how much that means to a normal friend when first meeting them, but he also certainly was very troubled by the notion that King never even done it before.

"In his life?" Fox said to himself~ "What would that mean for him in the future? So he plans on not making any friends anymore? Why would he go so far?"

It started to sink in to Fox as he thought about it more. He never thought of King abandoning Fox, but the notion started to sink in the more he thought about it. He really didn't want to think about it anymore.

He turned for a moment towards King, seeing him sitting in the corner by himself. He had his paws over his face like he was the lonely kid that just got picked by all the other pups’ afterschool. With the exception of Fido and Ralph, The others were in the other room playing games. The only ones in the room at the moment were him, King, Fido and Ralph. Kevin was nowhere to be seen, but he was certain he went to join the others in the room with the rest of the K-9 Squad.

He saw the look on Fido and Ralph's faces as they were talking and he wasn't surprised. It ringed untrustworthy. He would be surprised if Ralph didn't already ask for a background check on him at this point, though even Fox is certain there has to be some sort of protocol for that as well.

It only took about 2 minutes after looking at them to see Fido coming up towards Fox. His look went from the more serious look to something more of a calming smile. The look on his face made it look like he had a rough fight already.

"Sorry about that, Fox. I was just trying to convince Ralph back there not to call in the FBI Dogs." Says Fido, closing his eyes with a smile and sighing afterwards."Do dogs really become FBI~"

Fido cuts off Fox with a raised eyebrow. It even threw Fox off for a moment how impressive he was at it, even with the glasses on. "You sure you weren’t raised by Dwayne Johnson before Bill got hold of you?"

"It was a figure of speech, Fox." Fido says with his eyes closed once again at this point, giving off a smile before returning to his same expression with Ralph. "But I have to say, that's one way to crash a party."

Just then, a familiar mouse popped out from Fido's collar at this point."Man, what is it with you dogs and that sniffing business anyway? Or do I even want to ask?"

For a brief moment, Fox felt like he was talking to King when he heard that question. He was actually expecting that from King's mouth when he thought about it. Although he certainly doesn't want hear it from King's mouth all the more reason, he also felt it would give him a better understanding of what King was going through. He felt like this was a good time to give a small briefing. Though briefing a rodent on a dog's sniffing routine sort of felt hilarious also.

"Best way to describe it is like a greeting. Although it's a much more complex greeting than a simple handshake or hug. I would say it's close to the point of letting us know we're very close friends. We only do this when we first meet or have been gone for a really long time."

"...sort of like an initiation." Spo says, granting a shrug and a response from Fox. "You could say that."

Spo suddenly gives out a loud sigh. "I'll never look at the Dog Club the same again."

Fido then places a finger on Spo's head and gently pushes him back into the collar.

"Alright, now that that's over, me and Fox got to have a quiet talk for a moment."

"Meh. I'm done with this party anyway. I'll be in the basement when you're done."

Spo moves into Fido's collar. as Fox watches Fido moving over to a nearby table, he watches carefully wondering when Spo was going to leave. When Fido returns with a box of Tish-You, Fox looks carefully at the collar.

"Hey, is he still in there?""Oh, Spo? He already left."

Fox looked at Fido's collar reactively."...He did?" Fox says as he takes a quick glance around the room, but upon a quick glance, he pretty much gives up upon examining the doorways. "Huh. Didn’t think he could move so fast."

Fox rubs his collar around as his glance goes towards the kitchen area."He knows all the loose ends of the house by now. He can do that anytime in here."

Fox sort of wished he could find him still though. The though lingered for a moment until Fido coughed."Does he have anyone else he hangs around with?"For a moment, the question caught Fox off-guard."Oh, King? ...He's still new."

Fox felt sorry to hear that question. He knew Fido was trying to help Fox out more, and most certainly King, but when he thought about it more the question also made his fur feel uneasy as well.

After a moment though, Fido took a deep breath and slowly removed the glasses and rubbed the tish-you on the right lens on his shades over his head, almost as if; from Fox's point of view; that Fido had a plan ready for him.

"It wouldn't surprise me honestly, giving the way things are going with him recently." Fido said with confidence. For a moment though, there was a pause from Fido. Fox waited and waited and waited, but the silence turned into an awkward amount of silence. "Ummm...Fido?" Fox said "King's not trying to avoid us deliberately. He’s just been having it rough with the way things are around here."

After saying that, the awkwardness returned. The look Fido was giving at this point however was the same good look and feeling he gave earlier. As Fido turned towards King, he noticed he still sat in the corner and not paying attention to anything going on between Fido and Fox either. Fox even began wondering if he was hoping for everything to just...disappear? He could understand that part.

He started thinking about some of the more embarrassing things pets like King would do in that situation. Though in most cases he would think that King would try stealing a bush or hiding under a bed like what most pups do. Though King wasn't a pup for sure, his actions seem to hint something like that. Although Fox started thinking about the whole situation at the party again, he felt deep down that King wasn't trying to hide anything from everyone.

"Hey, Fido." Fox says, catching Fido's attention while he was looking away "I'm going to try to talk to him... cheer him up again. He probably is worried to death at this point."

"Yeah, I wouldn't blame him. I know it's weird in his position and all, but you can let him know for the most part we're willing to let him get to know everyone if he wants to try a fresh start still."

A fresh start. That's one of the things he was 'hoping' to get King to try doing, as soon as he gets out of that behaviour of his. For the most part, Fox felt there would be no trouble getting to know the neighbourhood dogs even in his current behaviour. He also liked the idea that Fido was encouraging this as well.

"Thanks, Fido." Fox suddenly gives a snarky look at Fido "By the way, thanks for not calling the FBI on him either."

Fido groans from the comment."As long as he doesn't do anything that suspicious again. I’m going to check on the food."

Fido walks away afterwards towards the table. Fox suddenly recalled that he too was getting hungry, but he figured he would get something later. After all, he didn't think it was going to take long.

Fox goes over to King and offers him his hand to pull him up. King didn't seem to notice at first until Fox stood there for about five seconds. King eventually looked up, his face looking dry. Fox was glad to know he wasn't reduced to the point of tears at least.

"Alright, King. We're going to take a small break for a bit from the party.""Meh. I don't want to ruin your fun either, Fox. I’m just going to go home."

King slowly started to get up, but as he got up and went towards the door, King's body jittered like a motorcycle being left on with no one riding it.

"You still want to head home to your Dad?"

Fox knew King was fighting the urge to stop doing two things, but he felt he knew King needed to stay for the better.

"Alright, King. Before you think about going home, there's something we need to do."

King looked up at Fox, his attention a little more attentive.

"Please don't let it be any more games..." King said, with a shaky vibe to it.

"We're taking a break from the party like I said, King. But I want you to~""Please don't say you want me to start sniffing everyone's butt."

Fox turns his the other way, lowering his eyes just enough to give a hint of a second thought in his mind. "Well..."

"Don't."

Fox rolls his eyes back before giving off a scoff, turnign back towards King. "Nah, seriously. We’re just going to walk this off in the snow for a little bit. Get our heads outside for a bit. Might even be the indoor sensation too. Do you mind?"

The question really wasn't what Fox was sure would convince King to go along with it, but after watching King think about it for a bit it eventually looked like he came to terms. He wasn't sure what convinced him, but he wasn't going to argue either.

Fox guided him out to the doorway afterwards, grabbing his jacket and King's scarf before heading out with him.

"But seriously. We need to work on your sniffing..."

~~~ Part 3 ~~~

"So..." King said silently "You wanted to~"

Before King could say anything, he suddenly notices Fox taking a pile of snow and rolling it up into a ball and starts pushing it around, rolling it to make it a giant ball of snow. King as surprised the snow was hard enough around this time of month to be able to be moved around like it's suppose to.

"Err... you're not planning to make a snowman, are you?"

King looked back at the house and saw the next room window. He was certain that there was going to be someone watching this, which made the whole idea even more frightening in his opinion. King also suddenly realized he should've thought about this before walking out the door. It's obvious they are going to see something out of this. Something Human.

They can taste the fear.

Looking into it further, King could just picture the whole plot nicely. The Sergeant looking out the window, binoculars ready, surveying King's every move, each glaring moment just screaming for an opportunity to happen. Then King throws a snowball at Fox... wait, do pets throw~ too late! He called the big guy! Abort! Abort!!!

"...Hey, King?""AHHH! DON'T TACKLE ME!!!""...Why would I do that?"

Snapping back to reality, King suddenly remembered that his paranoia got the best of him again. It started to irritate even him at this point. He takes a deep breath and breathes out a cold breath of air. That alone was fun enough right now to keep him from thinking of something other than police brutality.

"Meh, I’m just worried about them watching us." Says King as he looks over at the large snowball that Fox made. It was surprising to note, but the ball was as big as HIM! It wasn't as tall as Fox, but it was much taller in size than King. It never dawned onto him until he saw it, but compared to his own human-self and what memories he could recall of giant balls of snow, it felt like for a moment that he was looking at the other side of a boulder waiting to run him over, though it never felt like that when he was human.

When King tried pushing the snowball with his corgi hands, it felt like he was giving it a love push. It barely even moved the boulder.

"You know, King. No one’s trying to get on your bad side."

King was trying his hardest to push the snowball at this moment just to test out his theory more about his own personal power. To his avail, it didn't work. He started frowning over his own personal power.

"I'm so weak..." King says, prompting a sigh from Fox.

"Well, for starters, we can't move the ball anymore. The momentum stopped. Even I can't push it anymore."

Well, duh he thought to himself. Of course Fox had to push it like that. He remembered that Fox wasn't as awe-inspiring powerful as he was either considering he was wrestling with him a few times.

"Yeah, haha... Silly." King says "Here, let me try by myself. See if I can beat it."Fox responds by sitting his back under the house window with his arms behind his neck."Suit yourself!"

King starts gathering up snow and places it in front of him. Giving the yard a good observation of the snow around, it looked like there's plenty still around. Thinking like it was going to become an Olympic competition all of a sudden, King licks his paws and scrubs them together and rears his paws back, eventually shoving the snowball quickly and pushing it all around the yard. As the momentum kept going, he was thinking about how strong he is and how big the ball could be at first.

As time progressed to the point where the snowball was as big as him, He began trying to recall what kind of games he played that were similar to this snowball rolling event that he played on the Playstation. He's sure there was a game he played that involved rolling a ball around making it huge and all he could think of was that same game as it continued to get bigger and bigger. He then began wondering how much snow was around the yard since it felt like he needed something to eat at this point. He also wasn't interested at the size at this point and just wanted to keep pushing, but King slowly began putting more effort into the pushing with his back and shoulders, eventually coming to the point of charging into the snowball until it just couldn't be pushed anymore.

"Whew!" He says, exhausted, placing one paw on the snowball without looking up "How did I do?"

"...Well..."

As Fox comes over, he stands next to the snowball. It's about an extra head height from Fox, which causes King to faint.

King suddenly felt his stomach growl. But at the same time, King got this sinking sensation that something was~

"That was a very nice try there, King."

The sudden voice of a familiar K-9 dog made King jump onto the snowball out of fear. He looks down at Fido afterwards...and the rest of the K-9 team.

"W-W-W-What's going on here?" King says, looking shaken by the number of dogs. He slowly began counting; his worrying going up with the number despite how he said to himself he'd stop worrying."We came to help, of course.""...Help? With...?""TACKLE SNOWBALL!"

It wasn't long until a hard thud of Doberman muscle shook the snowball from below, knocking King down on a small patch of snow on the other side of the snowball with a small Oof noise.

"Oh, you want to~" King was slowly trying to get up when he suddenly paused upon noticing the same snowball he was knocked off was inching towards his tiny feet. "AHHH! DON'T CRUSH ME! I ONLY HAVE ONE LIFE!"

The other dogs quickly piled on the other side of the snowball to stop it from rolling while Fido and Ralph quickly tried to calm Kevin down by holding his shoulder on each end.

"Kevin! You don't push it when there are other people on the other side!" Fido reminded Kevin.

"He... nearly crushed me.""King, you know he didn't mean it. Kevin just gets too excited easily." Says Fox as he pulls King up on his feet "But if you get to know him better, he won't do that often."

'Often' he says. Even once gives King the shivers, considering the size advantage between the two where King feels like a mouse compared to a cat. But he even felt that was just a small comparison.

"So..." King says slowly at first, already thinking why the K-9 unit is here. He counted Kevin, Fido and Ralph and the four other members he never fully got acquainted with yet saved him from being squashed by the snowball, standing right behind him with Fox. He wasn't sure whether to praise them or not, but he certainly felt grateful. "...You guys want to push the snowball as well?"

Sergeant Ralph coughs for a bit before stepping forward, his head down as he spoke.

"The K-9 Unit is always there to protect and serve."One of the lesser ranked dogs behind King tries to step forward. "Wasn't it because Fi~""~To protect and serve." Ralph cuts in. "Fido, The yard looks like it could use a snowman as well as having the entire yard cleaned up for Bill, wouldn't you agree?" The Sergeant Says, looking over at Fido who gives a salute afterwards. "Yes, sir!"King felt at this point he knew exactly what was going on. And he was certain the Fido was the mastermind who was in charge of this.

King also knew that Ralph already thinks he's up to something.

"T-T-That's ok. I’m sure the snowball can't be~"

Just as he said that, he reminded himself he needed to be corrected next time. Even though it was seven dogs, King felt for some reason at this point there was no way they could push a snowball of that size anywhere. Maybe it was his Corgi senses that were tingling or something, but he had this overwhelming feeling that wasn't normal of him since he was a human kid that this snowball could be pushed. At all. or maybe it was the fear of losing the snowball. Was he afraid to see it break?

King put on a shock of disbelief to see that the seven of them were able to push the snowball without so much as harming it. During their push, he couldn't help but feel like there was some sort of accomplishment being made to see such a large push of snow getting bigger as the seven of them pushed on. He even began seeing grass coming from the ground.

"...hey, Fox?" King said, rubbing his head in embarrassment after catching Fox's attention with the question. "What is it, King?"

"...please don't laugh at this... but I want to help them finish that snowball."

Fox smiled warmly afterwards. The look he gave King was ringing something that felt like he accomplished something. He started thinking that maybe Fido wasn't the mastermind after all...

"Come on, King. I don't think that snowball is going to push itself."

The two of them charged in as well, but they couldn't add anymore dogs to the push than what they originally planned. King and Fox assisted instead on keeping the snowball rolling forward as it picked up more snow from the yard. As the event kept going, King couldn't think of anything else anymore but the snowball. he felt like he was having a blast just seeing the amount of fun that him, Fox, and seven police dogs were having pushing this large snowball around the place. He wasn't sure if this was because he was a dog or not since it felt much different than when he was a kid, but it felt fun having this many people participating in this activity. He might've, as he said to himself, was getting into one of those 'dog pack' things.

As the snowball reached its highest brink. The snowball they made took up a good half of the yard so far. Even nine dogs had trouble with it at that point.

"Well..." Says Ralph, panting from the heat of pushing. "That...was certainly... an accomplishment."

As everyone took their time to breath from the pushing, Fox and King leaned back from opposite ends of the snowball in the pale grass that took up some of the snowball.

"Hey, Fox?""...Yeah, King?""...How big is the snowball?"

It became evident at this point that neither one realized that the snowball was the size of a seven foot fence. The fact that they even got seven feet of snow alone surprised all of them to begin with.

"Whoa" King and Fox said together at the same time. No Jynx followed them afterwards. The two were busy memorizing the size of it compared to the size of a normal human snowman. They were certain this was the largest snowball they ever seen!

"I’m almost afraid to see it melt away." says King

Thinking about it quickly, Fox suddenly look towards Fido. To Fox,It only took several minute later to come up with a plan. A little talking with Fido, a little bit of convincing here, a little bit of a pose there...

"Let me get this straight." Says Spo, leaning next to a digital handheld camera in the snow after time passes. "You called me from the comfort of our own home to push the button on this camera...""It's a memorial picture, Spo." Replies Fido, lining up against the other K-9's.

Spo looked at the snowball himself, noting that everyone was in front of the snowball with the exception of King who was sitting on top looking visibly frightened. Spo admitting that, to him, all snowballs looked to be almost the same size... but this one looked like it could run over anyone he felt was dangerous to him. Every cat and dog in the neighbourhood! But even he knew That snowball had limitations.

But he said to himself that someday, after seeing this snowball... that at least one cat or dog gets trapped in it. It would be so hilarious.

"Now all of a sudden I want a big ball of snowball doom.""Maybe next Christmas" Fido adds, chuckling.

Fox says, giving a snarky expression towards King.

"You feeling ok up there, King?"

King looks down at Fox, visibly frightened.

"Can I just ask you one thing?""Shoot."

It's at this critical moment that Spo takes the picture, flashing at the moment King speaks up~

"Why don’t YOU throw me up here next time rather than the K-9 unit?!?!?"

EDIT: Made some changes to the spacing and tenses from what i could see.

_________________3 words - Liquid Metal Fur

Last edited by GameCobra on Sat Dec 25, 2010 3:26 pm, edited 12 times in total.

Aye. i used word pad, but converted it to Word at the last minute seeing how the wording went. i should type these on word entirely next time. XD

_________________3 words - Liquid Metal Fur

Sun Nov 28, 2010 3:59 pm

valerio

Game Master

Joined: Mon May 25, 2009 6:53 amPosts: 18175Location: Italy

Re: Contest! Finish "All the King's Men"

GAK! Another contestant shows up!A very good one at that!And the deadline approaches...

_________________

Sun Nov 28, 2010 4:09 pm

copper

Puppy Wrangler

Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pmPosts: 6362Location: Florida

Re: Contest! Finish "All the King's Men"

That was really good! You are definitely in the running to win. Looks like I'm aiming for last place with my steaming pile of crap. Yes, I have decided to enter, though you should read it at your own peril, since it really is turning out to be just awful. Anyway, enough about my frustrations. Good luck to you GameCobra. I hope you win!

_________________My charactersEverybody has a story to tell. What's yours?

Finally! I was hoping not to use your sig quote against you, phew. At least yours isn't going to be the longest entry. How bout I race you for last? Or next to last? Heck, skip that, lets go for runners up shall we? I hope to be submitted tonight or tomorrow. Almost there!

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