Although well hidden behind our personalities and the time and inclination it takes to change ourselves, we tend to become what we’re praised or appreciated for and avoid that for which we are unappreciated or expect criticism. The degree to which we heed and respond, however, is a function of feminine love and masculine respect we hold for others and they hold for us.

When someone we disrespect expects something from us, we tend to produce the opposite they seek or want. Spitefulness seems to hide itself somewhere in our psyche to be pulled out when others expect what we’re unwilling to accept.

Even simple respect is missing. How much upbeat appreciation and praise do you hear flowing between men and women these days, except in the pursuit of sex or related subjects? Lack of respect prevails in society and the home. It becomes and is fed by the phenomenon of the self-fulfilling prophecy.

Normally in the U.S., women shape the culture and men accept the lines that women draw, specifically female values and standards that accept the male nature as well respected. Men see it as okay and proper. Nowadays, it’s so contrary, opposite, and negative to what men expect that they neither accept nor appreciate female expectations. Men jump on the cheap-and-easy-sex bandwagon and let it substitute for love, home, and family.

Against their better interest, women react to how men act instead of the reverse. Women thereby enable men to dominate cultural values (sex without love) and set standards (“Give me a b.j. or get lost, babe.”). Consequently, men are discouraged with themselves and women. They hide it behind a macho or Manospherian image and women moan about their inability to capture and hold a man—much less the man of their dreams.

So, errors compound as frustrated women send more criticizing messages such as these examples:

Men are no damn good but they’re okay for sex.

Men are after only one thing, and women shouldn’t have to put up with it.

Men are not responsible; they can throw away both wife and kids for a trophy.

Whatever problems women have, men caused them.

The evidence thrown up in the faces of men is that they are not good enough. Consequently, they specialize in fun and games on their own. Women respond by providing sex in order to have a boyfriend or associate with men. Men try to model their lives after some kind of sporting-blood lifestyle that parlays female weakness into sex. Women worship celebrities they credit with lifestyles idealized but unattainable to the less talented worshipers.

Women are capable and often marry guys they don’t respect, then blame husbands for lack of character, sense of responsibility, or tendency to physical aggression. She makes the choice, condemns, and blames him. Technically, he’s at fault, but the ‘crime’ was her screening him inadequately. By lowering female standards and expectations for herself, she promoted more of the same for female sisters to follow.

The absence of self-respect in men tends to reduce the respect they can have for others, particularly women in our case here. The absence of self-love in women tends to reduce the love they can show for men. Less respect by men means less manly love and more relationships that don’t last. Less love by women means they are more prone to blame men, and thereby shorten relationships. Consequently, in society today, relationships tremble constantly in a state of expectant breakup from inadequate respect of women and insufficient love of men.

The cause? Boys are discouraged or not allowed to elevate their own self-respect with accomplishments that satisfy their sense of duty and responsibility. So, they have less respect to show others, which self-fulfills into even less respect. Girls are discouraged or not allowed to elevate their self-love into love of others, and so they have less to give, which self-fulfills into even less loving and giving. When they become adults, the natural self-centeredness of both sexes becomes crippled into narcissism or selfishness.

Thus the prophecies fulfill. Women do not earn masculine respect and so they’re loved less. Responding, they don’t act respectfully of men. Loved less than expected, men act as if they’re disrespected out of which masculine love for a woman does not emerge.

Routinely, compatibility hits the rocks much like ships go aground. Relationships break up in the turbulent surf of non-appreciation of men for women and blame of men by women.

4 responses to “2417. Self-fulfilling Prophecy in Action”

Wow! This is one of the “key” articles that should be read and reread. This one really is important for all! Regarding this quote, “Women are capable and often marry guys they don’t respect, then blame husbands for lack of character, sense of responsibility, or tendency to physical aggression,” is what I’ve seen over and over again.

In fact, a distant relative will be getting married to a man who has lack of character and little sense of responsibility—he does drugs and they have been living together for years. I’m guessing a few years down the road, he will be blamed and deemed “no good.” Quite possibly after children have arrived. Then what? Another broken family! We have been invited to the wedding, but I’m wondering how my husband and I can attend showing support of their union? I support marriage fully, but not in this case. In days of old, the marriage ceremony included the wording, “If anyone objects, speak now or forever hold your peace.” Marriage USED to have to be approved by the community as well—as a good marriage was in EVERYONE’S best interest and was everyone’s business.

Speaking of marriage, look at how wedding are being done today: “themed” weddings where the guests are to dress up costumes—everything from Halloween to Star Wars and many brides choosing revealing, sexy dresses.
This speaks volumes about the attitude of marriage in society as well.

By-the-way, in speaking about women respecting men, I ran across this interesting video that the women here might appreciate. It’s of a baby-boomer author who gave a TedTalk on the importance of respecting husbands and that women need to stop husband/father-bashing.

This article has really got me thinking. I sure appreciate all your efforts in teaching us these life-changing skills!

Your Highness My Husband’s Wife,

Thanks for the website to stop bashing fathers. Good teaching and good lessons to learn. Very relevant, too.

However, she fails to mention that mothers have to respect their husbands and uplift the fathers in order to avoid confusion for kids and enthuse them to pay full attention.

Dear Sir Guy—yes, I noticed that some of the key pieces to the puzzle were missing as well. When I started out looking into the roots of feminism, many who have turned against it and wrote about it, still hadn’t fully understood or were able to verbalize the importance of the feminine role and the affect it has on men and society as a whole. For me, it wasn’t until I came to this site that I had the “aha!” moment that put everything together.

Your My Husband’s Wife,
I love it when pretty women please me with little reason that they enhance with love. Thanks.
Guy

Excellent article! I agree, this should be read and reread. “Women are capable and often marry guys they don’t respect,” … funny this has always been my biggest fear, but I’ve never been able to express it so clearly.

“men are discouraged with themselves and women.” – I’ve observed this too. I’ve noticed that many men long for women, who can relate to them in a non-threatening, i.e. non-sexual manner at first. Someone who will be open and will listen to what they have to say without putting them down. This seems to be a much deeper seated need than what is commonly said about what men are after. I’ve noticed many men actually fear being humiliated by a woman in that way. Once they realize this, it’s immense power in the hands of women, but you’re right, there needs to be enough self-love first. I’m amazed at how neatly you tied all these thoughts together. Thank you for sharing this with us.

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Wives lose husbands, but it can be prevented. Bachelorettes lose boyfriends, but it can be foreseen. Mates lose likeability, but it can be reversed. So what if the pool of good men appears half empty? By learning the true nature of men AND WOMEN, the pool appears at least half full and much more appealing to female determination and flexible to feminine influence.