I’m back with another chapter of what I’m foolishly hoping doesn’t turn out to be some sort of strangely specific fetish-fic – but it probably is because that’s the way my luck usually runs.

:sigh:

Last chapter there was much incontinence and teenagers acting like toddlers – because Humor!, I guess – and that was about it. It would be lovely if this chapter offered us more than literal toilet humor, but I’m not expecting much.

Warning: The following story is written by me, so I think that should be warning enough. Starfire: Actually I think you need to add some other stuff to that. Raven: Unless you wish to get sued for everything you own. Gary: What? My play station and my comic books? Oh and about 10 bucks on a good day?

This feels oddly familiar.

Beast boy: *sigh* Guess I’ll do the disclaimer.. Gary does not own Teen Titians, and frankly, that’s a good thing for us. Robin: This is just a fan fiction so nobody please sue him. Cyborg: Now Gary, back to that idea about me being king of the world. Rest of the titians: O_O Gary: How many time do I have to tell you, I’m not writing that! Any way, onto the story!

Wait just a damned second … :checks previous riffs: This is the intro for the first chapter!

Heyo, patrons! Welcome back to Heroes and Villains. As luck would have it, last week something actually happened! Somewhat. It was stupidly executed and mired in lots of unnecessary dialogue, but I’ll take it. I’ll hand it off to Eliza to elucidate.

“Elsa poisoned Buffy and Jimmy with a PCC chocolate cake!”

See! It was a thing! And it totally happened!

Otherwise, the first half of the chapter was relatively devoid of anything interesting.

WARNING! LINK STICKS HIS YOU KNOW WHAT IN JENNA’S LADY PARTS IN THIS CHAPTER!

Nora: Ert?

Ert: Pardon me. Not sure if I made the right career choice, feeling college was a waste of time, feeling like I can’t make much headway into my field of choice, starting to wish I had studied a field that I hated but it paid well, concerned I might be a failure in life. And on top of all of this Donald Trump might have an unhealthy amount of influence in my life for the next four years. You know. Just got some stuff on my mind.

Goeth: Why is he having a mid-life crisis when he’s not even twenty-three yet?

Ert: BECAUSE I PICKED A LOUSY TIME TO BE BORN! *Inhales* Go to your happy place, go to your happy place.

Nora: Er. Anyway, while Ert does that, let’s pick up where we left off. We learned that LQ was probably not using the homophobic version of queer, so we’re dropping that counter. Also, Ms. Sue traveled to Hyrule from the land of undeveloped, sold undeveloped to king undeveloped

I returned to the inside of my wagon and prepared a hot bath.

Goeth: A bath. In a wagon. See, we did some research and it turns out people did bathe regularly in the Middle Ages. But I seriously doubt this woman would be lugging around a tub with her.

Ert: Kind of telling that the story seems to glaze over how exactly she’s doing this.

Title: Dora of the RingsAuthor:JasonbobdudeMedia: Television/Books/MovieTopic:Dora the Explorer and Lord of the RingsGenre: Poetry and FantasyURL:Dora of the RingsCritiqued by KittyNoodles

I literally have no idea what the hell I am riffing today. I really don’t.

I’ve read this entire fic twice and I honestly cannot say with any certainty what this is besides a troll/crackfic. That is the only reason I have for why anyone would cross Dora the Explorer – a children’s show about learning Spanish words alongside cute adventures involving sentient hiking equipment – with a story as intense and lore-heavy as The Lord of the Rings trilogy. This may be as weird as crossing Frozen with the Dead Space series. Or The Lion King with Star Wars and the events of World War II.

Hello hello, all you patrons. Grab your spiked shoes with spikes on the bottom and keep your hands (tentacles) off that shotgun, because it’s that time again…

Today… wow.

I hadn’t thought it possible, but JC-The-Hyena has somehow lost whatever miniscule iota of coherent thought he once possessed. If it weren’t for the fact that this has been confirmed to be the official sequel I’d never have reviewed it, on the ground that it was obviously the work of some extremely dedicated troll with a massive hateboner for the entire creepypasta genre who wanted it shamed off the Internet as quickly as possible.