Monday, March 05, 2007

So,i was in the primary health centre today,tryin to help out those with limited means n sick kids,wen i started shivering.i wiped my runny nose and cleared my throat and signalled to my supervisor for a timeout...tired of the sniffling sounds he gladly agreed :)This was the 2nd cold i was havin in a month.n ur not supposed to have 2 colds a month.as i took a tablet to dry up my excessive secretions,i pondered over the possible causes.only 1 came to mind...too much was changing too fast.Delta,the greek alphabet u see alongside,is the mathematical symbol for change...I dont like changes,n i especially dislike rapid changes.even if i am the one makin them.for instance,as of rite now the following is changing:

my community medicine posting entails that i go to a different place everyday!

my internships about to come to an end.in less than a month

i will be shifting my place of residence

to a place known for its busy traffic,street smart people and extremes of temperature.[the latter is something ive not had to face much.also somethin i find intolerable.]

i will b living with my mother.

i will be studying.

i will b attending special classes.

my caffeine intake will be monitored by my aforesaid mom.

i will not b able to talk with my bf as n wen n for how long i want to.not cos of mom,but myself n studies,and a bit of mom too.

the place im movin to is a huge but empty flat.its cold,bare n im not sure im gonna b allowed to dress it up much.im gonna b told to concentrate on reading.

im not gonna have much money as im not gonna b earning a penny that year.

i will have to workout every single day

i will have to eat a sensible diet

i will b losing all my excess weight [yes i know,its great,but to b sloppy sometimes is to b human!]

i will not b able to go out whereever n wenever i want to.[im a homeperson anyway,but i ...read on]

[wont b allowed to waste time the way i do now.]...i wont allow myself actually.

i am gonna keep a pet turtle.

maybe pet fish too.except that turtles eat em if theyre slow.

and dumb.

maybe a pooch.maybe not.

have to shift again!i just shifted from my old single rooom to a new double one which ive to share with a roomate,shes gr8,but im just not used to it.havent shared a room in 5yrs+

i dont much like the ppl i know in delhi.[dats where im shifting] with a few exception.so i never know how to behave around them.

theres not gonnna b 24hr electricity n water supply where i go.

ill b practising giving exams again.havent given em for a yr+

will b sleeping on foldable cots.

maybe im just complaining,but i realised that these,all of these,are what have bin goin thru my mind in the past month.n im not sure how ill cope with stuff like this.im so nervous n freaked.its a whole delta[sweta's life] n im sure its all gonna turn out ok,since its all bin planned for the betterment of [sweta's life] but that doesnt make me any less nervous...im not a big city,oh sorry,metro type chick.nor am i village chick.im not either,i dont know what i am.suddenly im starting to realise i havent fitted into any of the stereotypes of any of the places ive lived in so far.not as advanced and dubai ppl,not as emotionally void as manipal ppl,not as out of touch as U.P ppl,not as shrewd n self serving as delhi ppl.

wen ppl ask me where i am from,i always reply "thats a bad question to ask,cos u see,i really have no clue."shudnt we all have a place,a haven to call home?home is where my folks are.so im not goin home now?cos both my folks r not gonna b there...home is a place u feel cosy n comfy in.where to look forward to goin to after a hard day...cos its all urs...where u have pets/ppl waiting for u,eagerly.does one always have to fit in?