10.03.2013

Dear Pumpkin Spice Latte,

Two of my favorite things (coffee and pumpkin) were now being combined together!

Was it too good to be true?

I eagerly ordered a Grande.

I took my first sip......and I wanted to spit you out.

And, I did spit you out.

No. This was NOT a match made in heaven.

I LOVE coffee. I LOVE anything Pumpkin.

But, I do not like pumpkin with my coffee.

I was so confused.

Everyone raved about the PSL.

I was disappointed in you and in myself.

Why didn't I like you, when everyone else did?!?!

(Side note: It reminded of the disappointment I felt in 1997 when the movie, Conspiracy Theory came out. At the time, my favorite actress was Julia Roberts & my favorite actor was Mel Gibson. When they teamed up to do a movie together, I was thrilled!! 2 of my favorites in the same movie! I couldn't wait for it to come out....and when I saw it....WOMP WOMP. Didn't like it at all. FAIL.)

Anyways, back to you, PSL.

After my disappointment after our first meeting in 2004, I kept hearing how wonderful you were.

Every Fall, all people could talk about was "O-M-G. P-S-L!!"

So, in 2009, 6 years after our first meeting, I decided to give you a second chance.

Reluctantly, I forked over $4 a gave you another shot.

And, again....I took a couple sips and YUCK.

I just didn't like it. It tasted like burnt milk & coffee.

PSL in the trash, again.

Fast forward to yesterday.

In a weak moment at Starbucks yesterday, I had a gift card burning a hole in my wallet.

October was here, I was happy, I needed caffeine.

I was going to order my usual (Grande Non Fat Vanilla Latte)

The chalkboard at Starbucks was filled with fall leaves & the PSL.

Both people in front of me ordered Pumpkin Spice Lattes.

The PSL was haunting me. It was getting in my head.

I mean it had been 4 years since I last tried you.

When the barista asked for my order, I had a little chat with him.

I explained my dilemma.

I love coffee. I love pumpkin. I love Fall.

I WANT to like the PSL, but the past 2 times I have ordered it (in 2003 & 2009) I just didn't like it.

He told me to try it again. He said it is his favorite and their most popular drink during the Holidays.

He encouraged me to give it another shot.

So, in a moment of weakness & peer pressure, I ordered one.

I anxiously waited for my PSL to be ready.

I had a good feeling about it.

3rd times a charm, right?

WRONG.

I took a few sips and it was as awful as I remembered it.

Sorry, PSL. We just aren't meant to be.It's not you, It's me.
I must have something wrong with *my* taste buds since everybody and their mother loves you.

Don't take this the wrong way, but I think you are Gross.

Like, I want to scrape my tongue off gross.

And, you are 500 calories?!?! No thanks.

I'd rather drink those calories with a glass (or two) of wine.

I wanted to be one of the cool kids and like the PSL, but sadly, it's not going to happen.

Mel Larson just isn't a part of the Fall Cool Kids PSL Club, nor will she ever be.

I gave you 3 chances over a 10 year period.

I have spent $12 on a couple sips of you and then you have gone in the trash.

3 strikes, you are out.

I am never, ever, ever going to order you again.

I should end this letter by wishing you a Happy 10th Birthday.
I am glad you have made so many people happy over the past 10 years.
Sorry I am not one of them.

I hope we can still be friends.
Just remember....It's not you, It's me.

Maybe there is some kind of counseling you can go to to correct this problem? PSL therapy? Forget it...I'm just going to take this straight to the Lord himself and pray. You of all people, need to love a PSL! :)

laughing so hard. I think the PSL craze is actually kind of.....weird. The one thing I have tried is getting a regular latte with ONE pump pumpkin sauce. Have you done that?? It has the tiniest taste of pumpkin and doesn't taste like that overly strong gross taste of the PSL. I'm not a fan of that either. Mayyyyybe try that. And also...500 calories?? How do people drink these things a few times a day and not be blimps???

When I was pregnant last fall and avoiding coffee, the barista suggest that she make a pumpkin spice frappacino - it's the pumpkin spice flavoring blended with milk/cream and ice. It's amazing!! It's like drinking pumpkin pie, so delish! Maybe give it a try! :-)

So, so funny! I don't detest them like you do, but I don't love them either, so like you, can't justify the calories. I think they are just a bit too sweet and flavorful (can something be too flavorful?)

Have you tried Green Mountain's pumpkin spice coffee pods for your keurig? While I don't love the PSL, I do love the pumpkin spice coffee (drinking it now...yum!) It just has a hit of yummy fall spiciness, but unlike the PSL it's not too sweet (actually not sweet at all unless you add sugar) and the flavor isn't overwhelming. Hopefully it might be a good alternative for you.

You are the only person I know (not that I "know" you!) who likes the Chocolate Chai Tea Latte! I think it was made just for you! I seriously almost vomited when I tried it. I'm glad someone likes it, though!

I am with you. I think it is disgusting! My favorite thing to get there is the Caramel Apple Spice. I have heard the Salted Hot Chocolate is really good too, so that is on my list to try as soon as it gets a little chilly here in Houston.

Now I completely love the PSL but understand its definitely not for everyone. I actually think there are more people that dislike it than like it and lots like you that feel they are supposed to like it. Pumpkin spice Via is almost better than the latte and the TJ's pumpkin spice chai is what I've drinking at home, I add a scoop into my homemade coffee misto or latte.

AMEN! AMEN and A M E N!! Last year they had a salted caramel mocha that I would get just so I wouldn't get boo-hissed when friends ALLLLL wanted to go to starbucks for their beloved PSL's and now? it's just a frappucino. So there went THAT.

This just made me LOL. I love that e-card so much. I finally figured out how to thoroughly enjoy the PSL this year. It has always been my least favorite of all holiday drinks. The Grande non-fat vanilla is my go to too... so, I have been ordering my usual but with 2 pumps of vanilla and 1 pump of pumpkin. You still get the deliciousness that is the vanilla latte with just the tiniest taste of pumpkin. It's not too sweet and doesn't taste like burned milk. Get your yoga pants and Uggs on girl and get yourself a vanilla psl. haha

I don't like the PSL either. I'm definitely a nonfat vanilla latte girl, too! I tried the Chocolate Chai Tea Latte the other day and seriously almost barfed. SO GROSS!!! During the holidays I do like the salted caramel mocha, the caramel brulee latte, and occasionally a peppermint mocha. But the nonfat vanilla latte can;t be beat!

So funny! I have to say this makes me feel better though--the PSL isn't kosher and with all of the gushing, I've been feeling bummed I can't have it! I do LOVE the cinnamon dolce though, that's my classic order!

I'm not cool either. I don't get the PSL or the big whoop about it. I think people are lying about how awesome it is and how much they like it. I've come to the conclusion that as much as I LOVE all things pumpkin, I do not at all like LIQUID pumpkin products. That being said, I don't waste my money just to try something- Starbucks is always willing to make you something you do like, so don't trash them, just return them and ask for your standard vanilla latte. Tell them the PSL told you to. ;-)

Blend it up for 30 seconds or so and you have yourself an amazing fall drink! It even gets a nice froth on it. I was making this on a daily basis (I stock up on the TJs pumpkin puree and pumpkin pie spice when I can) but I now make it only for a really special treat since I've gone over to the Paleo side. Now I drink Bulletproof coffee and for this fall/winter season I'm adding pumpkin pie spice and vanilla to my bulletproof! Which is also delish!! So, give the Pumpkin Spice Tea a try...maybe since it's made with tea instead of coffee, you might like the taste more...it's perfect on a fall day : )

Mel, keep thinking about this post...I do like the PSL but I can see how it's not for everyone. I got some pumpkin spice coffee creamer the other day and wondered if you had tried that? Gives a much tamer pumpkin flavor to your coffee.

My Etsy Shop

The Larson Lingo runs ads provided by a third party sponsor and uses affiliate links and cookies within this site. This site uses RewardStyle. Clicking a link doesn't result in a commission, but if an item is purchased as a result of the link a commission is earned. Thank you for supporting my blog!