Gwen Stefani Is Trying To Destroy Me

So Gwen Stefani is weird but that’s ok. I’m all for being a weird motherfucker. I always like her videos for the same reason but her latest, “The Sweet Escape” is all kinds of unnecessary foolishness. First off, those damn Harajuku Girls held against their will are starting to scare me. Like, release them back into Thailand or wherever the hell they’re from.

Also, why does the song make me want to guage out my ears and the ears of anybody I care about. I feel like this all a big unfuckingfunny joke.

And don’t put Akon on your single. Senegalese men are a hot ass mess and he is their lodge master. If you wanted somebody doing harmonies who sounds like they’ve got the runs, I would showed up to the studio with a bag of White Castle and a smile.