Monday, November 30, 2009

some kind of statement.

i paint for myself. i don't necessarily think of the viewer. ever. my paintings don't have to be conceptual because they end up having meaning anyway. to the artist or to the viewer. if it doesn't have meaning then it's not a successful painting. i'll save it for a while and then paint over it later. when it becomes worthless.

but even the unsuccessful paintings were learning experiences, which give them worth. but that doesn't last.

to specify "ends up having meaning anyway." meaning doesn't have to be concrete. i don't expect someone to stand in front of any of my paintings and come up with words or thoughts. i don't know if i want them to. when i paint i don't think; i feel. i'm not trying to get at something, i'm trying to get something out.

when i paint my body it's personal. it's hard to feel a painting rather than think it when you're staring at your face in the mirror and smearing cold paint on yourself. it has to be like a trance.

if i could eat colors or become colors, i would. painting myself is a way for me to get as close to colors as possible. but this is a small part of why i keep doing this.

the thing that keeps me most interested in the body painting is the impermanence of it. when i'm done the paint washes away. the only thing that is left is the photos. and no one can see them unless i let them. no one can see me painted unless i invite them into the room. it doesn't become an object and it doesn't exist unless i want it to.