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When the cold came around again, I remembered. All those hidden rooms in my mind, where my memories ended up.... - Not forgotten,but certainly not remembered - Doors opening, that I don't even remember ever closing. All these moments started to come to the forefront of my mind again.

Picture after Picture entering my awareness.

So many Feelings coming with it.

So many sensations.

So many faces.

All of it covered in dust - imaginary maybe, but still .

Slowly the pictures become more clear, as I start to open up to the sensation.

It might be cold here, but I still feel warm. Warmed up by the certainty, knowing where I came from, knowing where I am, knowing where I will go to. Gratitude filling me up. Gratitude for the times that made me. Gratitude for the gift of remembering again. Gratitude for the people that were in my life. Gratitude for the wake up call - a wake up call that I certainly needed .

There might have been a lot of pain. There might have been a lot of frustration and I might have created part of the mess as well. But now - now that I remember more clearly then before - I can see more of it than ever before. I start to understand. Even with the cold around me, I finally can begin to see. These times needed to come to an end. A lesson, that I had to go through. A time that had to end, the same as this world. The same as this vessel. Even if it hurts. Even if it becomes colder, so cold that it feels unbearable. As it tries to take hold of my being, I let the memories fill me up. Not remembering all the pain, but instead focusing on the good in all of that mess. Focusing on all that made me, who I am - grateful, that I came closer, to who I wanted to be . Remembering my dreams, from a time long gone, remembering the feelings, I had forgotten so long ago. As the sensations fill me up and the cold tries to get a stronger grip on me, I let go.

I let go of all the pain. Of all the beliefs I held for so long. Of all the situations that came after that decision. Of all the uncomfortable times that I endured. Of all the grudges. Of all the self talk I used to do. I understood.

I really understood and I began to feel lighter - might have something to do, with my vessel disintegrating, but w/e .

I guess, I should let the sensations be themselves, sometimes.

As I began to separate as a crow, rising up - towards wheresoever - I finally felt better, compared to other times.

I still felt warm - strangely enough. Seems like this is, what they meant with feeling peaceful.

The dying world under me, began to fade and everything became brighter, losing color. So, I seem to drift around, I not knowing for how long. I only know, that I hold a picture in my mind. A picture of my past, not tainted, but still a nice picture. And I still hold that feeling inside of me. Not one of dread, nor pain, but hope. Startling enough.

Suddenly I start to wake up from my trot. Unsure of what woke me. As I look around myself, I notice another crow. Haven't seen many , when I traveled to the last few worlds.

Another crow flies up to us, joining us, as we travel through this in-between . More and more crows gathering with us, seemingly traveling the same way we do.

This might become interesting.

Usually just a few crows enter a world. Fighting for whatever cause. Leading on one side, or fighting as mercenaries, enjoying whatever they enjoy.

So many crows in one place, this might be a very different world, then the ones I had visited before.

Maybe there is even more hope, then I imagined. Maybe it is time, time to let that feeling of hope grow. Time to start a change, a change that will last. A change that holds peace in itself. A change that I enacted. As the wise say, the world is in urself, so start with urself. I guess, I will try. I will try once more. I will try, to make this something I can be proud of. Something, that will honor the memories I have. Something that will last, for as long as it can, for as long as we can make it last. Maybe even beyond this world.

As I think about the future, or rather, about my vision our surroundings start changing again. Colors manifest themselves. Crows begin to form groups and depart into different directions. A world manifesting itself in front of us. And we slowly descend up on this new place. A place I want to create something up on. A place I want to help design. A picture , I want to make real. I think, this will be it. What ever the gods hold in store for us. I will face it. I will prevail. I will make my vision real. And I will enact the change I imagined. The time of the lone ranger has passed. It is time, to do, what is needed. For my vision can not be made true by a lone figure. Even tho every hero counts. Some things, just have to be done by a group, a group of like minded people. A group, that understands. A group, that is willing, to take it a step further. A group, that is willing to risk something. A group, that will let me use my freedom, so that I can create, what I desire.

I think, I will help them as much as I can and they will eventually help me. I have to remember, for my past guides me, but shall never make me. I will let go of my old chains. I will build something new. And I need help, so that I can have the tools, that I need. I need help, from others, so that we can create something magnificent together.