Welcome

Greetings seekers, preppers and crisis junkies! Welcome to the online home of The Apocalypse Gameshow (at least until the internet’s wiped out by solar flare activity, magnetic aliens or the Federation Against Copyright Theft).

We’re here to let you know that everything’s NOT going to be fine.

Statistically* speaking you’re more likely to die from the bite of a mutated gecko or find yourself fighting off zombies with a rolled-up copy of Heat magazine than win riches and “fame” on some enervating reality-TV talent show wankfest, so you might as well give up now and start being proactive. That’s right, get off your shiny fleshy arses and get yourself down to The Apocalypse Gameshow – the ONLY survivalist boot camp and testing facility encased in a light entertainment sugar shell. What have you got to lose?

To quote the inestimable JR “Bob” Dobbs – “The world ends tomorrow and YOU MAY DIE!” Or not. But you never know, do you?

It’s time for you to man up, tool up and start laying in supplies. I know some of you have already started, but the rest of you need to wake up!

Spend your money wisely while you can – invest in you own future with a ticket to The Apocalypse Gameshow, and find out today if you have what it takes to survive after what’s is inevitably going to rain down on us tomorrow. I’m not paranoid, I’ve just got my eyes wired open and my ears pinned to the ground. I should be OK in time for the next show, so see you all there. Wear comfortable clothing.

Ted Gas here, head of the AG Aspirational Eugenics Program. I’m very sorry to tell you that our scheduled visit to Edinburgh must be postponed until further notice. Your host, our dear leader Dex Sinister, deliriously exited by the apocalyptic potential of the US government shutdown was last seen boarding a submarine of Brighton Pier. …