How to Know When to Let Go

Love is difficult; it’s even more difficult when you’re in love with someone but you start wondering if he is truly the one for you. If you’re having doubts, and things just don’t feel ‘right’, you may contemplate if it’s time to let him go. Here are 10 reasons why you may consider letting go of this man and finding another.

When You Have Different Goals

If the two of you have a completely different set of goals for your future, it may be hard to work together and form a valuable future together. For example: if some of your goals include having 4 children and owning a big house, and his goal is to live life without children and go on wild adventures on his motorcycle, it’s probably not going to work out. Ensure the two of you have similar goals for your future so you can work on them together instead of ending up unhappy in the long run.

He Keeps Hurting You

Ladies, I know it’s hard to give up on someone just because he’s hurt you a couple times. And he probably came back with a bouquet of roses and told you how sorry he was. He probably gave you a love letter with all the reasons why he adores you and you took him back. I get it- he was totally sorry for whatever he did to hurt you. But then he does it again. And again. And again. How many times are you going to let him get away with hurting you? If he’s continuously hurting you and making you feel bad, he is NOT worth it. You deserve SO MUCH MORE than that. Drop him like a fly!

The Two of You Always Argue

Who wants to be in a relationship where there is nothing but arguments? If you can’t even sit through a dinner together without arguing, it’s probably best to let the relationship go. Yes, every relationship has an argument here and there, but the good times should certainly outweigh the bad!

He Isn’t Making You Happy

Women have a tendency to stick around with someone who doesn’t make us happy in hopes that things will change. We love our guy so much that we’re waiting for the day where everything will flip upside down and the two of you will live happily ever after. Well, that’s not always the case. Sometimes things turn out for the best, but if he hasn’t been making you happy for quite some time, you may decide to find happiness elsewhere.

You Can’t Deal With His Past

There’s certain parts about his past that have always kind of bothered you, but you figured you’d get over them. However, it seems like his past is always being brought up in one way or another or it’s occasionally on your mind. If you can’t get over his past, there’s no room for a future. If it’s something you truly can’t handle then you would be much better off to simply move on.

You’re No Longer Attracted to Him

It’s a sad twist of fate, but it’s completely possible to lose attraction towards someone. It’s natural and happens more often than you might think. It may sound a bit shallow, but you can’t stay with someone you are absolutely not attracted to. Even if he’s the sweetest guy in the world- if there is no attraction the relationship is not going to work as you’ll probably start catching a ‘wandering eye’.

You Outgrow Him in Maturity

You got a good paying job and you’re working towards a home. What’s he doing? Playing video games with his buddies until 4 o’clock in the morning. The two of you eventually run out of things to talk about and his immaturity is a huge turn off. That’s it- you’ve simply outgrown him. You need to find someone on the same page as you, someone who can match your maturity level and give you a decent conversation and a relationship you will actually enjoy.

There’s No Spark

One important thing to remember in any relationship is to ALWAYS keep things spicy! That means that you don’t stop flirting with each other even after years of dating, always switching things up, surprising each other, and keeping the passion in your love life. But if the spark has dwindled off and there’s no fireworks in sight, you’re likely to end up bored and feeling unwanted. If there’s no spark left in your relationship, and you’ve tried to talk it over with your man and nothing has changed, then consider finding the spark and fireworks somewhere else.

You Have Different Values

You think that a man should open a car door for his woman, but he doesn’t. You think it’s polite to say ‘thank you’ when someone hands you something, but he doesn’t. The two of you have a completely different set of values, and you probably argue a bit about those values. What it comes down to is the two of you are on completely different pages and you’re not going to change each other to match your values. In this case, you need to find someone that shares your values so the two of you can work on them and be strong in them together.

You Can’t Get Passed a Flaw

We ALL have flaws; and some flaws you can look past, others you can’t. Maybe it’s a small flaw that you simply can’t stand or maybe it’s something HUGE that’s been irking you since the day you met him. If he has a flaw that you simply cannot look passed no matter how much you like him, then you’re best move is to move ON. Chances are you’re never going to get over this ‘flaw’ (whatever it may be) and you’re wasting each other’s time by staying in the relationship.

Saying ‘goodbye’ to the man you’ve been dating for quite some time may be difficult, but sometimes it’s the best decision you’ll ever make. Have you ever let someone go? Why did you do it?

I dated a guy for two years and just broke up recently. It hurts but I guess it’s best to let go when he said I deserve better than him. Hopefully this pain disappears soon. Jordan Guzman, I will remember you like a good dream that I woke up from, thank you so much for everything.

Thank you for sharing your story with us. For now, it would be best for you to leave him in your past. Though it is good of you to speak with positive words regarding the end of your relationship. Take this time to look inward to determine what you would like for your future as a single person. Remain positive as you move forward.

Oh, no! If I could go back in time to give you this article, I would. Even when you know the signs, it can be really difficult to notice them. When you are still in love with someone, it is natural to try to turn a blind eye to signs that there is an issue. Only trust, open communication and a strong partnership work in the end. At least you will know now what you may need to look for in your next relationship. Good luck, Claire!

Unless you end up getting married someday, most relationships come to an end at some point and it is never easy. Five years is a long time to spend with someone, and it can take months or years to get over the relationship. Focus on your own hobbies, goals and self-improvement as you move on. Before long, you will notice that the memories and feelings for her gradually die down.