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I’ve been eating a ton of toaster pastries lately (you know, non-name-brand Pop Tarts) because … see, I don’t usually look at advertising. I am Generation X, I am a product of Saturday Morning Cartoon Syndrome where every commercial was a blaring advertisement and every cartoon was a commercial, and none of the toys actually functioned as promised. So yeah, I tend not to notice ads. I have been trained since childhood to tune them out. GUESS THAT DIDN’T WORK OUT SO WELL FOR YOU, DID IT, MARKETROIDS?

Those guys, I swear …

Aaaaaaaanyway, I went in to Kroger the other day to get some toothpaste and I practically ran in to some aisle stack of a nice pleasing arrangement of geometric shapes. I turned to look at this huge pile of smallish boxes, and there above them were the magic words – TEN FOR TEN DOLLARS. That’s right.

A box of toaster pastries.

For a dollar.

I will not tell you how many I bought other than to say it was less than ten but far more than one.

That’s why I’m eating toaster pastries. Right now. If you want some you can come over and have some.