A young man truly in love with his girlfriend decided to have her name tattooed on his penis, her name was Wendy, and the tattoo was done while the penis was erect, so when it was not erect all you could see was W Y. Shortly after the couple was married and they were honeymooning in Jamaica, the man was in a bathroom in Jamaica, and standing next to him was a Jamaican man who also had a W Y on his penis.

The American said to him "Oh is your girl named Wendy too?"

The Jamaican replied, "No, Mon that says, 'Welcome To Jamaica! Have a Nice Day'"

A Jamaican living in the States was down on his luck. Out of work and broke, he started going around to various companies in the city begging for a job, any job. Finally he got to the zoo. The zookeeper looked stressed out.

"The monkey escaped last night", the zoo-keeper said, "if you are willing to put on a monkey suit and stand in the monkey's cage for a couple days, I'll pay you"

The Jamaican immediately accepted. The pay was OK and the work wasn't hard. He swung from the tree, and the
kids fed him fruits and nuts. He actually started enjoying himself. He even started adding a few acrobatic moves that he had seen on TV. Late in the afternoon he swung a bit too vigorously, lost his grip and flew clean out
of the monkey cage and landed in the lion cage next door.

A mother and her son were flying Air Jamaica from Montego Bay to Miami. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

When Bob Marley died, he was buried with his guitar. This guitar had a high value , and some desparate, heartless theives decided that they were going to dig up the grave, steal the guitar to resell it on the black market. So one night they went with their shovels and pickaxe, to undergo their mission. But as they started digging, from out of nowhere they heard a song "Old pirates come to rob I." They got scared, began to tremble and started to flee, then they heard "You running an you running an you running away, you runninig an you running, but you can't run away from youself." They got distracted, and two of them stumbled and fell, same time they heard "Get up stan up, stand up for your right...."

There was once a very old Jamaican couple who could not hear well. One day the old man said to the said to his wife, "Mazie, yu know afta all these years mi still love yu." So Miss Mazie say, "Yes Albert, afta all these years mi tiyad a yu to."

Last week I had to call the I.R.S. to clear up a clerical error on the band's K-1 income tax report for last year.

I dialed their toll-free number and navigated a few levels of their automated telephone system until I was connected to the right department. I then heard a recorded voice telling me that my wait would be approximately 5 minutes. I decided to wait.

While waiting, I listened to the recorded Xmas music that was played by the I.R.S. phone site. When I realized what the music was, I broke out in hysterical laughter.

An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male
buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter, "Want coffee." The
waiter says, "Sure, Chief, coming right up."

He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee. The Indian drinks the coffee
down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing
parts of the animal to splatter everywhere, then just walks out.

The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand
pulling another male buffalo with the other. He walks up to the counter
and says to the waiter, "Want coffee."

The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto! We're still cleaning up your mess From
yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?"

The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Training for position in United
States Congress: Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for
others to clean up, disappear for rest of day."

Post Edited (03-23-06 16:12)

--
blessid love
ras danny
higher reasoning reggae time
KBOO Portland, Full Strength Community Radio
*Love is a net that catches hearts like fish.*
-Muhammad Ali
*I don't like reggae, I love it*