Tuesday, March 8, 2011

well here we are again.. back to the same ol shit again hehe.. hope you all enjoy!

okay, lets try to catch up to where we left off.. hmm... the haunted school was our last adventure... ok... so boggs, free, and that one kid, and me got back to base safe and sound... and Boggs came and slept in my room with me... ugh.. alright, let me get one thing straight... Boggs and I never did actually "have sex"... I wonder why now... because he is totally adorable... and he has a good body... good personality... ugh haha I am cursed to walk a miserable lonely life lemme tell ya! haha ((hes married now, and I would love nothing more than to just steal him away for one night)) thats the whole, "want what you cant have thing" yeah, we all do it!! hehe... okay, so there boggs and me are laying there, and we get to talking about kids, and life after the USMC... well, I myself at that point, had decided I really did want kids... I'm not sure why... loneliness i suppose... haha so that all happened, and within the next couple weeks, we were scheduled to go out to our friend Dejean's house...

Dejean... a typical black name if you ask me... but holy god in heaven!! haha this kid was fucking hilarious!!! picture a short, wide, lil haitian with hilarious stories and an even funnier vocabulary bahaha!! he would walk past me in formation and say DAAAAAMN look at them maan arms!! MM!! big as hellllll! hahaha (in case you didnt notice, I've always had weird big arms... not fat, or muscular... just big... lol) alright so, Hernandez, Boggs, and our friend Justin decided to go out to Dejeans for a little get together... I was wearing a sun dress and feelin hot.... cuz I am!! BAAAM! haha.. anyway... so here we all are... playing xbox... bored as hell... drinkin beers... and I get the idea... "lets play some fuckin PRESIDENTS N ASSHOLES" hehe that game... will fuck anyone up... i dont care who you are!... so off we went, and Hernandez and I were freakishly good at this game!! possibly because we were severe alcoholics... but you paint the picture. I dont care hehe... well, 9 beers later, I am feeling good and loosened up... so we all go out for a smoke... (I myself, went out for a dip) and Justin follows me outside... hes all tryin to hit it.., and be all sly about it... ugh.. seriously... if I havent already kind of given you a hint, that I wanted to fuck... I DONT. ok... moving on... we move on back inside and sit down, Dejean says... "oh guys by the way... If you see something small and hairy running around... dont worry... its a ferret"... were all looking at eachother like "wtf did this foold just say"" hahaha this mother fucker lets a nasty smelly ass ferret run around in his house?! bahaha well, Dejean told us, " It was my roommates... and he escaped... he just kind of runs around everywhere... I think he's dead though... havent seen him in a while... last time I did see him, he was in my exhaust pipe in the closet.... his lil nose was all pokin out.,awwwww" hahaha at this time I am just totally freaking out that there is some living nasty hairy thing running around in the house free reighn to everything lol GREAT!! at some point in time... this lil fucker is going to A: run up my leg and touch my chachoo or B: scare the shit out of me when I get the munchies later and open a cupboard hahaha... either way... I was not excited.. hahaha

So the varment radar was on high, and we all decided it was time to bust into some tequilla.. his neighbors were like 70, and were moving out of there house, and had some REALLY old tequilla... they gave it to Dejean... so he is pouring everyone shots and were all sitting out by the bonfire... I'm chillin talking to Hernandez... when all of a sudden out of the gloomy darkness comes this freaky ass creepy black small dog!!!!!!! I FLIPPED!!! and so did Hernandez when we realized how dirty and wet he was hahaha... but as drunk as I was I said HERNANDEZ!!... dont be mean to him.... what if its JESUS?! hes testing us... hahahaha so in an effort to please "jesus" we were extremely nice to the small, hairy, wet, smelly dog hahaha he kept hangin around, and hernandez and I were like... ooohh Jesus... we love you hahahaha we fed him hot dogs... and he disappeard...we were confident something good would happen hahaha pleasin jesus....

Alright so I get up and go inside to see Dejean with a big plate of shots.... (apparently Dejean had all the fixins your average bar would ... platters, millions of shot glasses, margarita salt, .... it was... impressive)... So i say to him... Dejean... remember, I told you I CANNOT have tequilla right?? (( for a little fun fact... when I was 13 years old, an ex boyfriend of mine handed me a full bottle of JOSE... and said.... if you are a true STICKNEY.... you will chug this entire bottle.... and walk down to the Smithland street dance, and slow dance with someone .. if you can walk after that... your a stickney.... long story short... I did it... I danced... fell... cops were there... and my mom tried to make me walk home which was 2 blocks.... I got lost, almost got raped... it was bad.. hahaha no more straight tequilla!) alright so apparently Dejean remembered I couldnt have it... so he said "yeah sarah, this side is disorono... this side is tequilla... us guys will drink these, and you drink those.. " I was happy with that answer... haha so I grabbed two shots... slammed em and said "DAMN I love disorono!! that shit is AMAZING!" so I had three more... and within an hour... I was just REALLY wanting to fuck... like bad... like I was getting paid Jenna Jamesons salary n time was runnin low hahaha so Dejean says "Sarah!!!! its a topless party!!! why the hell dont you have your top off!?" i looked at him and said... ...... "WELL SHIT!!! NO ONE FUCKIN TOLD ME THAT!!!"... took my dress top right on down, and walked around the rest of the night...... noooo top..... yep... fucking great hahaha.../// lets just let everyone in on a little secret... Dejean had pulled a fast one.... my shots were PATRON... OLD PATRON... so it was absolutley amazing tasting.... and I would gladly drink an entire bottle... but id be naked, and possibly pregnant.... so lets not do that hahahaha//// alright... so here we were all of us just sitting around playing card games... my boobs out... hahaha ...

Boggs says to me... come outside with me real quick... i wanna talk... so out we went... and he starts talking... im assuming it was something about loving me.... or liking me... idk i was jus doing that weird drunk thing that girls do when they're horny.. ya know... they hang on to something.... put there faces kinda low and glance up at you with theyre smeared makeup... thinking they're still slightly sexy... and thhey kinda make weird sounds like... mmhmmm.. *giggle*... yeah... and then eventually will lie and say they love you back... jus so you'll shut up.... okay... so in the middle of my drunken dance.... a car goes flying past Dejeans... and we hear a huge CRAAAASH!!!... and then two smaller crashes after that... so i looked right at boggs and said "omg did you fucking hear that!"... I immediatley took off running right towards the Trans Am and then thought... okay... awesome... lets drive drunk with our boobs out, and no shoes on... NOPE!... so I put my boobs away and started running down the highway towards the sound... and eventually Justin and I got to the accident... there was a girl screaming BLOODY FUCKING MURDER... like I have literally gone through boot camp... where all they do is scream and yell..... and I have yet to hear anyone yell like she was.... she was screaming "He grabbed the wheel!!!!! he fucking did it !!!! he grabbed the wheel!!!!!"... and this bitch was covered head to toe in blood... like one of those bad movies... it was HORRIBLE... and of course, were trying to calm her down...and all she wants to do is hug me... in my yellow sundress.... which was then ruined... thank you crazy drunk driving lady... you owe me a 40.00 victoria secret dress... dick.... anyway, so this bitch is going ape shit... and her boyfriend is yelling back at her that she's crazy and hes going to kill her... omg... there was blood... and glass... and car... haha it was terrible... and finally the cops showed up... and she was telling them taht she only wanted to talk to me because I was a femal and I knew what it was like....
uh, yeah bitch, thanks I sure do know what its like.. i know what its like to get cunt-blocked by a crazy drunk driving looney lady... ugh.... anyway, they lived...

Boggs and I returned to the house, only to find that there is nowhere to sleep.... no blankets... and unless you wanna get attacked by a zombie-crazy-rabid-hidden ferret... the trans am was the best bet!!... so out we went... to the car... and by the time I laid my seat back in that nice comfy flat position... the sun was starting to come up... FUUUUCCCKK.... ugh... well, we ended up talkin for a while... about what, who knows... but I bet I broke bogg's heart... which I tend to do alot... haha..woke up around 8am the next morning, and basically started the car, and headed for home... epic night lol.

all respect to my main man jesus... the dog..... and a shout out to patron... you sneaky bastard hahaha.. oh, and one big shout out to my boobs before pregnancy... --yeah, your bigger now..... but i sure do miss my perky lil c cups.. hahahahaha

Monday, November 29, 2010

Well, we ended up finally coming home from DC... and we were late, because I saw this sweet ass antique mall on the side of the interstate.. and I HAD TO STOP!!! lol I ended up buying this crazy looking brooch that the guy told me was worn by a really rich lady who used to own like half the town ( dont remember which town) haha... but i fell for it... and i bought it for like 50 dollars... lol yeah i have a thing for history... heh.. we all have our weak points :-D

ok onward to the rest of the stories!!! so at this time, living in the barracks was ... eh.. not so great i guess... just boring... I remember one day while I was in CLB 6... I was in field day formation... we were all standing there, and some douche baggy ass corporal was running shit... and for SOME REASON, he thought he had to go all boot camp with it... so he started yelling and screaming and divided us into two groups... one to police call and the rest to clean the quad... well, hernandez and I got put into the police calling group... of course... -- and you know every time you get in the police call group, you get hosed cuz you end up donig that AND cleaning the quad... bastards...--- well, so here we are, walking around the damn barracks picking up old std covered condoms, herpes cigarettes, and hemmoroid juice pieces of paper.... (yeah, idk whats up with the references... just enjoy them hehe)... and of course, me being me, I was complaining... and saying things that may make the person next to me giggle a little (it was hernandez, so it was easy haha)... so i had two handfulls of bullshit... and I come across this big ass rock.... so I kick it... WELL that fucking corporal saw me kick it... he says "oh, really lance corporal!? you wanna play with the rock huh??"... in the back of my mind im thinking... seriously dude..please do not make me do anything fucking retarded... cuz i WILL punch an nco...//but i didnt //... so I looked back at him and said "**sigh**..... yes corporal..... i just LOVE rocks.... they excite me...." and of course, being the fucking bitch he was he says "gooood.... pick it up.... name it...... ok..... now carry it with you.... "... I was so goddamn mad right now... but I did like he said... i picked it up and said, alright... his name is louis.... and ill be damned it I dont have that fucking rock to this day!!! after about 30 feet he told me to drop it ... but i fucking kept it!! its in my tortoises tank right now as i am typing this!! who's stupid now?!? haha... but seriously... this kind of thing happens to me alot... flash back to MOS school.... we were all sitting in our conference room in a big ol group... our ssgt was talking... I had a black marker... and I was doodling on my water jug.... (if you know me at all.. you know, i have issues with doodling...)... haha sooo... I drew this cute little adorable creature with big ol googly eyes! sooo cute!!!... and my ssgt looks over at me and says... "wow, really brede... what the fuck is that thing?!?... stand up.... show everyone;.." so i showed everyone my cute little creature... and then he said " goooood ... give it a name... "... well, I named my water jug "FIFI".... hahaha..;. she met a sad, sad demise though... Fortman used to always have like 3 black guys outside our second story window throwing rocks... so one day, fortman and I decided, that throwing our water jugs at them, would make them leave.... WELL... little did we know... that when you throw the blue water jugs onto concrete.... they explode... lol SORRY FIFI!!! you were great while you lasted!!...

anyway... so after my horrific, eventful police calling session at the bricks... of course, we all got together in the quad... and (what did i tell ya!?) they told us to clean the quad again... ugh... so i went ahead and grabbed a broom out of my room... and started sweeping the second floor catwalks... I remember sweeping quickly... cuz i just wanted to start and finish this shit as fast as i possibly could so i could go out to michaels house and fuck... haha... well, I started feeling a little dizzy after like 10 minutes of sweeping and my nose started running... assuming it was just allergies.. (i have no clue what month it was... oh and sorry if these stories are a little out of order... get hit in the face with a ladder... and shit kinda runs together!)... anyway, so my nose was running really bad.... i kept wiping it with my arm and went back to sweeping.. (i had my blouse off).. well, i put my head down a little bit, and some "snot" dripped onto the ground.... yeah it wasnt snot at all! it was fuckin blood!... and it was like dark dark red blood... almost looked black!... to me, this really wasnt that big of a deal.. I used to get bloody noses all the time, so... i just kind of wrote it off... I went into my room and sat down for a little bit, and kept going through tissues and tissues ... soo eventually about 10 pm... i ended up just driving myself into the emergency room... i got MRI's and CT scans... again... and then this time they said... uh, yeah you have hemmoraghing on your left temporal lobe... but it was just slight ... so i was still able to walk and talk...they ended up putting a plate right on top of my skull ... it was pretty shitty... they had to shave a part of my head, and i had this nasty little cut from it... but I ended up coming out of it allright... i had a lot of friends come and visit me... i was doped up for like three days... but after those days... i ended up being really really bored, and I decided just to take myself off of my con leave, and check into my new unit... CLR 25... I was kind of inerested... I was actually going somewhere I'd never been before...I remember driving there, and being all out of it and still really really sore... but I didnt care, i just wanted out of my bricks room and back to work!!...

I walked into that office upstairs and the ssgt was like... sooo you should probably work up here in the office with us then huh??... hell no i said ... i wanna be outside!... and that was that... that first day i was back, i helped push a humvee into the shop, and moved some 7 ton tires..//with help obviously//... i'm not the kind of person that lets shit like this get me down hehe... I still had to wear my sunglasses though... and just so everyone knows... I wear them because the light/ sunlight... really really makes me squint, and gives me this horrible ass headache... and I can hardly function...NOT because my eye is all white... or that it fell out... lol ive heard it all. anyway, so I was happy to be back at work... but sad because hernandez got put in Med battalion... and I was in 25... but the cool thing was, they wer right next to eachother... like, the same building... but like 10 feet apart haha I met some really funny people in 25... Izzy, Fryer, Norris... haha wow we all got into so much shit together... always finding some dumbass way to skate out of EVERYTHING... lol //we'll tell more stories of you guys later...

so after all that drama went down, it was time to put the shorts back on and get into some water... :D off we went down to the lake ... we took our usual crew out there... and gathered a whole bunch of fire wood ... and just sat around and drank beer.. I loved having boggs and justin there with us... because I was always way to scared to jump in first... idk why... its my thing haha... one time though.. hernandez and me were completely hammered, and we just jumped right in... and there ended up being like, a big ass tree underwater hahaa fucking sucked... gosh we had some great times out at the lake... we bought these big ass rafts and just would float the day away ... laying in the sun ... drinking beer... once, Free and Pierce came out with us (friends from clb 8).. they were sooo fucking hammered... free ended up STEPPING IN THE FIRE!! lol and pierce was just making fun of him and shit.. haha free's foot got all nasty and red and ended up peeling and getting all infected!!! ehhh!!! it was sooo gross haha... we would go to work and there was free, no boot on... nasty ass foot hangin out hahaha... once leann jones and I swam from one end of the lake to the other... god damn i was so fucking tired!!! forgot how in shape you gotta be to do crazy shit hehe... boggs was by far the craziest though... that kid used to just swim WAAAAY out in the middle of the lake... and just be by himself for an hour... scared the shit out of me!!...... one day, we ended up finding this rope that was tied to this tree... omg.... that ended it all!... haha we automatically started going crazy on that damn rope haha it sucked if you were tall though.. cuz if you went down far enough... there was a really really sharp log! I would get scared every time and curl up right before i hit the water.. gosh im a pussy :).. ...

ahh... here we were living it up in the sweetest way possible... I couldnt have asked for a better time ... lol... oh my god though.... one night... we got this great idea, from a friend of ours... ah-hem.. "hey guys!! did you hear, theres a haunted school way out past the airport!?" BAM!!! that is ALL he had to say to catch my attention!! haha I was so down to party it wasnt even funny lol I was like... "LETS FUCKING GO!!!"... and we did... oh, boy we did... haha lets see who i can remember came with... me in my car with some kid.... boggs in his jeep with Free... and like three other car loads of guys we knew from 8th ESB... (another unit).... so off we went... drinking the whole way there... ugh... boggs and i convoyed up there together, adn the rest of the guys left like twenty minutes before we did... so when we got there, they were already inside somewhere... which was EVEN scarier!! lol ... im carrying the case of beer... boggs has the light, and we were going in!!... we walked into this big ass scary school, and right away, theres papers, and pieces of the ceilings and walls all over the floor... and we walked straight into this creepy ass theater... and of course, all the guys that beat us there, had to jump out and scare the shit out of us.... ugh... men... anyway, we all ended up trying as hard as we could to get scared shitless... we all split up into small groups of three or four... and it of course was our little group and the other guys all split off... well, we were all walking through these rooms...and omg, they were so fucking scary... i wish i could describe it... old school books... papers everywhere... desks in corners... FUCK.. haha... well... we made it thru to the back part of the school where the gym was... and that's when some of the guys noticed you could get underneath the school thru the basement... ( the legend is... that there was a fire that started in the boiler room...and it killed like 12 or 20 kids.. ) so... here we were , looking for the boiler room like some paranormal research show.. lol ... well, free and I ended up getting separated... and we were both kind of tough i guess you could call it... so we decided to walk off on our own... we went down this hallway that i hadn't noticed before.... and down this small corridor... we ended up coming outside in this freaky ass greenhouse... we quick walked through the greenhouse, and come upon some stairs... so we walked up the stairs, and at the top, there was a set of two doors.. the doors were propped open, and looked like they had been for a long long time... so, we walked in...and then, we were in this hallway with lockers on one side... I remember being REALLY FUCKING SCARED... and all the sudden ... SMASH!@!!!!! the double doors behind us slammed shut!!! I automatically just fucking took off running!! i had ahold of free's shirt and I just fucking ran my ass off!!! he was looking back the whole time yelling to me "THERES NO ONE BEHIND US!!! THEY SHUT BY THEMSELVES!!!" quite honestly... I DO NOT GIVE A FUCK....somehow those doors shut... and it wasn't a human... and the wind was NOT blowing that night... I ran out of that school so fucking fast i didn't even have time to think... as soon as we were out in the open again... all i saw was spot lights... I said OO SHIT!! and ran to the gym... I didn't make it inside the gym (partly because I figured being inside somewhere when the cops showed up, probably wasn't such a good idea... id rather be somewhere where I could run... ((I'm not sure what my thought process was ... but all i knew is that i didn't like cops... ))

so here come the cops getting closer and closer... slowly but surely, everyone in the gym realized what i had realized at first haha... they snuck out the side door, and ended up in the same place i was...... ewww... I remember crawling underneath that old ass gym.... all kinds of dead things.. spiders... bugs... ahhh!!! i can only imagine what i touched... buuuggghhhh.. anyway, i got outta there, and met up with everyone else... and they were freaking out... they said... where do we go from here?!... honestly... all my years of living in the country and playing "German spotlight" have defiantly paid off... so thank you jesse worrel, justin bockelmann, and cj hancock for always believing in me and making me the perfect cop evading machine... hahaha AAANYWAY... back to my story... so I told everyone.. "alright... were going to run straight back into these corn fields and were going to follow the creek all the way around... and were going to wait it out until they give up and leave... so off we went.. running as fast as we could... using whatever night vision we had left after drinking... ugh... which for me wasn't so good... (one eye... haha... make your jokes assholes lol) we'll just say I was the one leading this circus, so I was the one that ran into like 3 barb wire fences... owww!!!!! yeah, literally RAN INTO THEM.. fucked my shit allll up... but it was a great feeling... that adrenaline pumping... the feeling of being chased... gotta say, I LOVED IT~!!! felt like a teenage kid again... ((remind me to tell you all the story of Lacy Peterson and Sarah Stickney the cop evaders of Smithland Iowa soon hehe))... alright so after we ran for about an hour, we ended up in this big ol tire yard... not sure what else to call it... there was a shit load of tires stacked on top of each other...we all worked so well together... we worked out a plan... and an escape route, and off we were again!... we made it across the highway, and ran as fast as we could across this huge open field... which we soon discovered had a HUGE irrigation ravine dug in the middle of it... yeah, we fell in it... it sucked... and it hurt... alright... long story short... we ran for a total of 6 hours... the cops sucked at finding us... later on we ended up splitting up and eventually we went back to my car... I jumped in to drive away, and the fuckers pulled me over lol and boggs got pulled over too cuz they told him not to come back, but he had to come back with my keys (he left before I did.... and they were like, you wont get a ticket, if you leave and never come back... ) lol at the end though, the cops had me out of the car, and the one said.. "so, you were hangin out with taht little shrimpy kid all night huh?"... and i said "hey hey... dont worry, nothing happend... he tried putting the moves on me... but you gotta understand, I got a good hand on my bitches... they all want me... but not just anyone can handle this shit" hahaha the fucking cops laughed so hard... we all ended up just bull shittin on the side of the road while boggs sat in his car lol we both ended up getting tickets... but they were literally bullshit... oh yeah, that was the night I found out that my license was revoked in NC... oh yeah... it was FUCKIN SWEET!... lol i had to leave my car at this freaky ass gas station on the side of the road in this po-dunk town!! (with no plates... cuz they take em if you dont have a licence apparently...) --- LETS REWIND--- remember when I first got my car and got pulled over?? yeah, the cop circled the RALEIGH address to pay tickets... NOT the JACKSONVILLE courthouse address... SOOO... all in all... i paid the wrong place.. and after all this time, i didnt have a receipt... and i had no proof .... and i DID NOT have the 300 dollars to get my shit back... ((I still have my iowa license... so dont talk shit... fuck this state... they can eat my dick--- on my hand...))... alright... so i ended up riding in the back of a Jeep Wrangler... alllll the way to base... it was just so cozy... boggs driving... free past out in the front seat... me curled up on boggs' sub box. and that one kid laying down pretty much on top of me all past out.. great night... great night... haha.... i am quite surprised we made it through the gate... we were one of those reasons they give us the dont drink and drive speech haha....

AAAALLL RIGHTY... will continue tomorrow with more exciting adventures from the sarah stickney chronicals!!!! oh and by the way... if you read this... and your wondering why i havent put one of our crazy stories in yet... just let me know, and i will write my little heart out about it!!! i just need a little bit of reminding sometimes!!! so remind me!! dont be shy now hehe thanks for reading guys!!! <3

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Alright kids... well at this time you can imagine i was pretty sad.. my clb 2 family had just left for iraq... and here i was all alone... life was pretty shitty... but then I got moved to CLB 8... i remember my first day there... I was telling myself... "ok, you have a lot of knowledge... you are a great leader... lets let this pass on to this company"... haha I was so sure I was going to end up being a good marine.. lol ... yeah right... anyway, i met one of my corporals from Second platoon... cpl cucinello (who is now sgt cucinello.. i know if i didnt put that in here he would read it at some point and get butt hurt ) hehe anyway, he introduced me to the rest of the platoon and the first person I met was Hernandez... I said to him... sooo... can i call you pablo?? cuz im probably not going to remember your name... hehe he was so shy at the time and was like "idk... i guess so"...

slowly but surely hernandez and I became really good friends.. we started skating at work ( skating means, the stupid ass marine corps still pays us, while we either go sleep somewhere during working hours.. or we just pretend like were at an appointment... and sleep... either way, your sleeping lol )... anyway, we would just go out to his car or my car and listen to tunes and chill (we both had black firebirds ) we used to park our cars next to each other all the time too hehe.. he started coming out to my house like every single day.. we really hit it off.. we laughed at eachother's stupid ass jokes that no one else ever got.... and damn did we talk shit!!! haha that is an understatement... damn... if you hung out with us... odds are... we talked shit about you haha not always in a bad way... but ... yeah haha...

we would throw parties at my place EVERY WEEKEND... we would make it fun and set up themes ... like toga... or pimps and hoes... I remember meeting Mann.. he and I ended up dating for a while there... but it was always kind of awkward... im not sure why... but i want to tell you... he was a little shorter than me.. and kinda skinny... but his penis was sooo fuckikng huge!!!! like, a horse wiener... haha im not kidding... it was huge... haha so thats kinda why we stayed together... the sex... it was always good... but the other problem was.. he was a little younger than me... which, for some reason really bothers me... almost as much as being really really skinny bothers me... idk i have weird ticks haha...

well, after partying our asses off in sneads ferry for a while, hernandez and I ended up moving out to Surf City, NC... we got this huge ass house.. four bedrooms and four bathrooms.. absolutely beautiful!!! we had some amazing get togethers out there... I remember the Hobo party... haha we all dressed in torn ass clothes and wore signs from our necks.. haha we had so many people there... people were puking off the balcony onto other people's cars... we had some people on the beach, in the street.. omg it was a mess.. but a completely fun and awesome mess... the next morning a cop ended up showing up... idk who let him in... but he got into my bedroom somehow and started lecturing me about how underage drinking is bad.... and how I shouldnt drink.. yeah, ok... in the middle of his lecture he looked down on the floor, and there was a sign that read in huge letters "WILL SUCK DICK FOR DRUGS" hahahaha omg the look on his face haha it was priceless.... he told me the reason he actually came to the house was because there was a trail of blood leading up to my house, and a bloody hand print on my door like a fucking zombie movie!! hahaha epic...

Hernandez and I used to download songs for hours and put them on his Ipod just so we could have a good party mix... we would devote hours to getting ready for our amazing parties... it was great... once we had a TIKI party... I would deffinately pick that as my favorite party of all time... we had a ton of people there!! jungle juice, beer, food... card games AND beer pong... zuma zuma to top it all off... that night my neighbor kept coming over... ` he would bring his stupid ass dog in my house... ugh.. i was getting pissed..., so i told him to leave... but then he couldnt find his dog... we kicked him out anyway, i figured, someone let the dog outside a while ago and he was gone... well, like three hours later, my neighbors drunk ass comes back to the house, and swears up and down the dog is in the house... we looked everywhere... and we opened up the bathroom door... it was locked for like that whole three hours and no one realized haha... when we opened it, there was this guy in there ... dont remember who it was , but he was laying on the floor, cuddling with my neighbors dog... yeah,, i hope they didnt do anything nasty... eh.. oh well..so then the neighbor left... but low and behold, he came back... and he was trying to start fights with everyone... omg i was getting so sick and tired of this dude... so i just grabbed him and punched him and threw him down the stairs... yeah he left and didnt come back after that... it was awesome.. hehe...

I always had a lot of loyal followers... as in dudes that were ... obsessed with me... ugh.. i had one, that wanted more than anything for me to be his "son's mother"... dear god.. he talked about it EVERY SINGLE DAY... he would call me and be like... my son wants to meet you... he calls you mom already!... ugh.. yeah, id never even talked to his kid... good grief... there was this other guy... he used to get me chocolates and flowers EVERY SINGLE DAY... do we see a pattern kids?? yeah, if you do something every single day... lets make it... saying i love you... once ... every single day... thats ok.... but doing all this crazy shit... dear god... I would come home and I would have flowers EVERYWHERE... and teddy bears everywhere..l. good god... oh, but one time, i kinda ran out of excuses not to have sex with him.... and i mean, he had a really good body... and he was really nice... but omg when we started having sex... i didnt even know we WERE having sex!! ahh!! ... i have never had to fake it so much... omg i remember laying there thinking... " when the hell is he going to force himself somehow to finish so i can push him and is quarter inch of a cock off of me..." oh yeah... it was bad... but when it finally was over with... i did what we all want to do after a night of awful sex.... i told him i didnt feel comfortable with him staying in my room with me haha.... so he went downstairs and sleep in one of the empty bedrooms hahaha gosh i am a bitch haha... oh and after that i went downstairs to hernandez's room and talked shit hahaha....

I cant leave out the part where I met michael ingram... i met him at one of our many parties we had at our pad... I was sitting at the table, playing cards with boggs, leann, and hernandez... and probably a few other people... but i cant remember now.. i remember telling michael, he looked like edward from twilight... which i really dont see now... but back then apparently he did... i started liking him because he had a mohawk... and i am a stupid ass sucker for basically any man with a mohawk... i told his friend corey sims that i didnt want a fuck and go relationship... If he wanted to get with me, he had to start a relationship with me... but apparently, corey never told him... and michael was ACTUALLY interested in a friend of mine's wife.. amanda stringfield... yeah... he ended up settleing for me though ( no we didnt fuck the first night) asswads haha... he actually pretty much just left without saying good bye that night... so i probably should have just let him be... but we ended up hangin out alot and going out to eat sushi for my first time.... which i love now!!!... and we had another party, he showed up and we were standing on the second floor balcony, i asked him if he was going to fuck amanda's sister when she came to visit in june... and he said PROBABLY!! wtf ?!?! who the fuck does that??omg i was falling in love with this guy and he throws that shit at me like that?!? wow.. needless to say, i ran away crying like a little highschool bitch... it was pretty bad... he ended up leaving... and by coincidence, amanda ended up staying the night at his place that night... he swears nothing happend... but good god... who knows... after that, we started kind of talking again after a few weeks... and he pretty much just used me for sex... and i was really really just trying to start a relationship....ugh.. god damn i was fucking retarded... alright change of pace....

hernandez had rats in his room lol (no not like an infestation... like pets haha) he had marvin, bella, and chester... yeah... i used to go down there and grab marvin by his back fat and say "MAAAARRRRRVIIIINNN" lol i think i was the only person that his rat bit... and i dont blame him ahahaha... i do remember once when chester bit hernandez, he threw him outside on his balcony... haha chester stayed out there for a whole day, cowering under the papason chair that was out there haha... he was ok though.. probably just hungry... oh, and eventually bella ended up having babies... i told hernandez to sperate the males from her... but he didnt... im sure we can all guess how well that went... little dead pink babies EVERYWHERE...

ok well after all the fun times at the beach house, we ended up getting evicted.... yeah, apparently you CAN party too hard haha.... we decided to move into the barracks... which wasnt so bad... cuz I got a whole room to myself... I had a lot of shit though... everything fit nicely in my little room... even my tortoise malificus, i tucked him away in a wall locker... complete with a heat lamp, and heat pad... yeah, probably not that safe... but seriously, would you be that upset if the barracks in french creek burned down?? yeah, i didnt think so... your welcome... lol --- so one night, i was laying in my barracks room... just chillin... and i look over on the floor.. there i see i fucking huge ass monster roach!!!! he stopped and just looked at me moving his little feelers all around... I fucking freaked out!!! i jumped down off my bed, going to grab my shoes... so he turned and ran underneath the other bed... i put my shoes on and grabbed a stick... I pulled the bed out and tried smashing him... but i couldnt see him... so i gave up and layed back down... i was sitting there drawing in my sketch book... and i look up at the ceiling.. THAT MOTHER FUCKIN ROACH!!! it was crawling up the fucking wall!!! i quick called hernandez and told him to come over right away and bring something to kill a roach with... haha so he brings a shoe... anyway, he gets over to the wall... and when he tried to smash the roach, it got up on the ceiling and was comilng towards my bed!!! i was screaming and yelling!!! hernandez tried to smash it again and it fell on top the wall locker, and then jumped back onto the floor and tried to run away, but he jumped right on top of it and killed it!!! omg the fucking roaches in the barracks are like cats!! good god....( little fun fact, the largest cockroach in the world was found in the sewer system of camp lejeune~!)... just so ya know... something to think about the next time you flush one of those bastards down the toilet without thouroughly killing it lol

after a litlte more settling in... and switching units to GS company ... and then CLB 6... my friend Bumblebee *(a corporal i knew from clb8) asked me to go with him to DC for new years in 2008... id never been up to the capital before, so of course, i went with... i bought this really cute tight, hot pink mini dress to wear! i was pumped... we went up and walked around outside a lot and looked at all the monuments and went through the art museum! it was gorgeous!!!... i was really excited about seeing the White house... but honestly.. all you can see is a lot of grass and waaaaaay far away is the white house... (if your standing in the back)... i was highly disapointed... I was expecting to see obama outside picking some cotton... hahahahaha omg im sorry lol it was a perfect spot for that joke... i had to do it haha im jk though... anyway, moving on... so later on in the night, out of nowhere , i get a call from Redman... yeah the same ol redman... /// lets move backwards for a minute.... after we checked into the fleet, redman had that spot on his head that hurt really bad remember? well, it turned out to be a tumor thing... yeah.. he had to be stationed in Virginia at the hospital for like, a year or a little longer... and eventually, he just got out of the marine corps all together... so i really hadnt seen him in a while when he called me--- he got the tumor removed, and hes all good now... hes on facebook if your really worried about him haha/// anyway, so he called me, and low and behold.. he was in DC for new years too!! so, we went and picked him up and took him with us to this party we were going to... which ended up being like, a bunch of brownies getting together in someones basement...(yes, i said brownies... not racist at all... i say it because there not just mexican, ... some are bolivian, peruvian, spanish, equadorian...yeah you learn a lot)... anyway, so the night carried on... we ended up schooling em on beer pong, and learning to dance the bachata.... and at the stroke of midnight, redman and i toasted and drank to 2009! he ended up leaving with some chick.... as usual... haha i cant win.. after that party, we ended up going to a spanish dance club... because those clubs in DC dont close until like 5 am ... wow!... ok i just wanna give some advice to the other white chicks out there... DO NOT EVER GO TO A SPANISH DANCE CLUB WEARING A HOT PINK DRESS ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE BRIGHT BLONDE HAIR!!!... usually when you have that light of hair, you stand out a lot more... but omg it was sooo bad... i was the only white person in there ... and I was like a foot taller than allll the men in there because of my heels... they were huge... and of course, bumblebee just had to get mad at me over something in this fucking place, and he left me there to fend for myself, while like 32 old/young spanish men came up to me and said anything along the lines of... "your beautiful lets dance" to ... mmm white girl... or hey sexy.... or some other spanish shit that i couldnt understand at all!!! omg it was horrible... all i wanted to do was get out of there!!! but this was one of those basement clubs... and you had to literally fight your way through about 50 feet worth of solid, sweaty people rubbing up against eachother before you could even get to the stairs... ugh... so i finally got out... and when i did... theres bumblebees friend standing right on the edge of the street for everyone to see, smoking a fucking joint!.... wow... its amazing that we cant even get away with that in sioux city iowa... but in our state capital, where the president lives, where theres a shit load of FBI and all kinds of police... you can smoke pot... right on the fucking street... oh hey cops.. what up?? want some pot? oh yeah sure plenty for everyone ... lol god america amazes me... anyway, eventually bumblebee got over it.... probably because he was sooo fucking wasted he could hardly walk... anyway, we ended up getting a cab.. and we decided to go to mcdonalds, and then get a hotel room....
well, while we were waiting in the drive thru line at mcdonalds, some homeless dude comes to the window and stares at me... i was like "omg is that a hobo??? ive never seen a real hobo before!!"... bumblebee was like... dont look at him, hes gonna rob us!!!! haha... i said " i wanna give him somethin!! hurry get my purse.!!! lol " so i ended up giving this bum a pack of cigarettes and 5 dollars haha then he cut in line in front of us in the drive thru... which doesnt make much sense... drive thru... and some dirty ass bum can just walk in front of the cab lol ... oh yeah, and i remember our cab driver was arabic haha he was on his cell phone and was talking all weird and i was like ... marhaba!!! hahaha he looked at me like.... seriously lady?? hahaha omg i was so wasted.... (marhaba means hello in arabic!-- yeah i took arabic in the marine corps before clb 2 deployed haha - even though my biggest memory in that class was looking up horse porn with the rest of the class on my laptop hahaha... classic..--- ) anyway, so we got our food... and we got to this shitty ass hotel room.... i remember, i laid down on my side, and faced away from bumblebee... he stripped down to his underwear... and laid down next to me... then he got really really close.. and i felt his boner on my butt .. i thought... oh sweet jesus... this mother fucker is sooo fucking wasted... i dont even want to pretend like i want to have sex with him... then i kind of felt him, and he was naked!!! lol i looked at him and said "mauricio!! where the fuck did your underwear go!?! you just had em on a second ago!!" lol he looked at me all sly and said... hmm i guess they just must have slipped off... " omg... he was actually trying to be really sexy about this.... but seriously... he wore whitey tighties... NOTHING was going to slip outta those things hahaha needless to say, after him trying to have sex with me for like an hour, he past out, and then the sun was up... so i couldnt sleep.... i laid there and watched tv until about 8am... and he woke up and called his friend to come pick us up... lol i just didnt mention the little incident... haha

well, hope you enjoyed reading up until this point... dont worry ... there is plenty more where this comes from!!! leave me a comment or something if you like this... so i feel like i have a purpose of writing this stuff hehe makes me feel good ... thanks again for reading!!! have a good night!!!

Yes, as I left off... i ended up loving the 50 cal... I kept that feather with me throughout boot camp until I ended up loosing it towards the end... I guess it gave me pretty good luck... Jake and I wrote a lot of letters while I was in boot camp... he ended up finding out about me cheating on him... ha.. yeah, it wasn't pretty... but he still wanted to be with me!? which to me, is retarded... but for some reason, we ended up staying together.. and the day I graduated boot camp, he was there. we hung out and as I don't really remember "loving him" ... I guess I was happy with him just being there to chill with me..

After I graduated, we drove up to Myrtle Beach to our family's condo .. we ended up trying to go to club kryptonite with my mom and dad. hahaha we couldn't get in because my dad was wearing "jean shorts" hahaha apparently ,my dad is in some hardcore gang hahaha!! he was so pissed lol!.. anyway, after that, my dad and Jake went into this dumb ass little bar, and left my mom and i out in the car... which is bullll shit~! but I was under age, so I got hosed alot back then haha... well, they came out, both drunk as hell.. and in the meantime, my mom and I had gone into Walgreen's to buy a case of beer haha... well, dad got back in his truck, and we drove back to the condo... yeah, my dad was yelling out the window how much he loved my mom (they have been divorced since I was 11 years old..) the fact that they both came down and hung out together this long was already weird for me.. haha... well, when we got back to the condo, Jake and I got the big bedroom, my dad slept on the couch and my mom and brother's took the other bedroom... at some point, Jake went out to smoke ... ( because I didn't want to have sex ) ... and my dad came in and asked me "why the hell aren't you two gettin it on?!... you married the guy.. don't you think he at least deserves that!?"... and I remember saying to him... "dad, I don't even think I like him like that anymore!" ... which was completely true... for some reason, I just wasn't attracted to him anymore at all... the next few days, Jake and I pretty much, just went running... took walks... and hung out... it was weird.. but after that, I went home for a few days ( I got like ten days off or something)... so I spent some time in Iowa... then I had to fly back down to NC to camp geiger.. well, I checked in there, and reunited with some of my old boot camp buddies, and some new faces..

MCT is almost a blur to me now... didn't get alot of sleep... learned a lot about machine guns... digging fighting holes, foot patrols, gate guard... a whole lot of shit that I really would never end up using because I'm a female... I came into the Marine Corps "open contract"... which to many, would seem like a bad idea... but I guess it ended up working out for the better... I was told I got Motor Transport Operator...so I was happy, because I knew there was a good chance I'd get to shoot my 50 cal again!

when I graduated MCT, Jake was there..;. like always.. and he followed the bus to the airport... and saw me off, as I got on the plane to fly to Fort Lost in the Woods (fort leonardwood) Missouri...

When we finally got to fort leonardwood, it was about 2 am... and I was completely exhausted.. it so fucking hard to sleep on a cheap ass uncomfortable plane, and a stupid ass bus ride .. ugh... anyway, we were separated males and females and escorted to our barracks... I got put into a room with "chicken little" as everyone called her.. I just called her Williams... cuz that was her name haha.. and then the next day, Jennifer Fortman, and Rachel Ward checked in.. (they were late because they got a hotel room , which they weren't supposed to do haha)... anyway, Rachel was put in a different room, and Jennifer was put in Williams and my room... I, myself have always been a pretty accepting person... so I didn't have anything against either one of my roommates .. but Fortman for some reason, did not like Williams at all... Which for me, sucked so fucking bad haha.. they would argue all the time, slamming doors... omg.. it was like being on the jersey shore haha... but eventually fortman and I became really good friends... she was so loud and obnoxious haha I loved it! she was hilarious to me, she talked like a black person to me... but I discovered later... it is called "ghetto" hahaha yeah, I've never been around white people that talk like that!... but we really hit it off... we went everywhere together... every time we had liberty on the weekends, we were together. Ward and I were ok friends.. but we really didn't end up super good friends until the second part of the school experience... anyway... so here fortman and I are.. in MOVOC (which is just a fancy term for learning how to drive the basic trucks like humvees and 7 tons)... well, Jake and I had been talking and we both kind of agreed it wasn't going to work... so I guess it was kind of like saying ... yeah, I'm going to have sex with other people, and i don't care if you do the same...

Every weekend we got off work I would go out in town and rent a hotel room... everyone else would end up showing up and bringing beer and food... it was so much fun!! I ended up liking a guy in my class... Dodson.. haha I cant remember why I thought he was so cute.. he was a dick to me haha... but him and I had our fun.. he was a little awkward... but he had a nice wiener and the sex was good, so we would sneak out on weekdays and fuck behind the ISO containers (big ass containers you put on semi trucks or flat beds) oh it was a blast.... But eventually, I met another guy... Redman.. haha yeah, HE was cute... needless to say, I couldn't make up my mind very well haha... but Dodson ended up going to Japan... and not staying for the LVS course (the advanced course where you learn to drive one more weird ass truck..)... so here I was, in LVS class.. and i had a huge crush on who I thought at the time was going to be a nice guy haha...

Redman and I had a great time all through LVS school... I used to give everyone massages while we were waiting on our turn to drive.. my massages were legendary.. idk why really, I guess I'm just awesome like that.. but, I remember once I was rubbing Redman's head and he said not to touch a spot on the top of his head because It hurt.. so I just kind of wrote it off (this will come into play later... so don't forget this part!!)... MEANWHILE... while i was having this little love affair with Redman, Fortman on the other hand, was digging on someone else... (WHO WAS COMPLETELY NOT CUTE AND OUT OF OUR RANK STRUCTURE)--- he was a SGT... --- yeah... anyway, it kinda worked to my advantage, because I was one of the only people in that class who got 100 points on a driving test from that SGT ... go fortman!! thanks man hahaha... well... after an awesome amazing time at school.. drinking every night... getting laid whenever I wanted to... wherever I wanted to... it was time to graduate and head to Camp Lejeune NC... or to Camp Pendleton, CA... most of us LVS drivers ended up going to NC though... I remember... my flight was scheduled to leave before everyone Else's... i don't know why... but I got hosed once again... so I was walking to my gate... fortman was with me... I said, " I really wanna see Redman before I go .. i know I'll see him when I get there, but I wanna say goodbye anyway.." so we called and called him... he finally ended up answering... and over the phone he said... "you know, I really don't want a relationship or anything serious with you.."... WOW!... fuck me right?? haha honestly, I wasn't looking for that at all... at least not yet~!~!... ugh... anyway, It still made me feel like an over used toilet plunger... ya know, the ones that are all moldy and stained and bend all easily... (not that I was loose or anything... perverts... haha)... but all the same, I got on my stupid ass plane by my fucking self, and listened to my mp3 player... my songs of choice were by "the starting line" the sad songs on their new CD.. yeah.. I was like a depressed highschooler.. shut the fuck up... you know you've been there at least once... everyone has... haters... haha...

So I get to the airport... and everyone Else's plane wasn't far behind mine... because when I got off the plane... I see Redman's sister, and his brother in law... AWKWARD... haha I ended up calling my friend Keator right away and saying... dude ... i need a ride to base like NOW... but I still had to wait for Fortman... so we did... and eventually we finally were on the road to Camp Lejeune.. ugh..

I was literally just sitting here for like 10 minutes thinking about this... but really, when I first checked in... all I remember is being in the little Admin office, and seeing this LCpl's desk Laughterbaugh... and a couple other marines were like "ugh, where the hell is she?! she hasn't been here for like 3 days.." -- in case you didn't know... Laughterbaugh was that pregnant marine that was murdered by her "baby's daddy"... yeah, i know, its crazy... I remember when it was on the news a few weeks later... kinda scary and weird how shit happens like that... --- anyway, we checked in, and all I remember, is that I met some guy named Cowley... he said I could stay with him for a while, at least until I found somewhere else to stay... he lived in this really crappy trailer.. his wife and kid left him.. I cant remember why... but... yeah, it was kind of awkward... he had two bedrooms, but one was completely full of CRAP... and his bedroom smelled like old feet and stagnant water... ugh... but I made the best of it... I cleaned that whole fucking house!!! I did all the dishes which looked like they hadn't been done in like months and months... Cowley was ALMOST cute... the only thing was, that he was about 4 feet 8 inches tall, and made me feel like a jolly green giant.... I had to share a bed with him... and I would literally get drunk off my ass every single night just so he didn't try to have sex with me (he told me he would never touch me if I was too drunk haha) yeah, I'm a bitch haha anyway, after a while, I ended up going to look for a car... I had told myself back in 2000 as a 12 or 13 year old.. that I would someday, somehow own a black Pontiac Trans Am WS6. I didn't know how .. but I would no matter what... well, we were driving around one night, and my friend Dodrill bought some crappy ass Ford Focus.. eh.. well, I ended up calling Stevenson Auto because they had a 2002 Black Z28 Camaro sitting out front... I said "eh, well its pretty fucking close to a trans am, so i guess ill deal with it."... i remember talking to the salesman... I said.. "well, what I'm really looking for is a 2002 Trans Am. WS6 black on black".... and he said "WOW really? because we literally JUST got one in... its in the back right now getting new brakes put on and getting all cleaned up" I almost shit my fucking pants!!!!... I said, hold on to that car... im coming in right now and I WILL drive away with that car tonight no matter how long it takes me!!... I got dropped off there that day... I talked to my dad on the phone... I got the money out of my savings account... which was like 6,000 dollars.. pretty perfect... I put that money down on the car, did all the paperwork, and like i promised, I drove home with my dream car that night!!! it was the most amazing feeling in the whole entire world~~!~ i've never been that happy ever!!..

Well, heres where the fun part starts... after buying that car, of course like any normal person, I had a need for speed... I got pulled over the second day I had that car... I was going 60 in a 55... wow... and instead of being nice, oh yeah, I got a ticket... fuckin sucked... but I sent my payment to the address the cop circled... and I thought I was done with it...

After a while of being in the fleet, I was hanging out with Fortman at the bricks (the barracks... apparently it makes them sound a lot cooler when you say it this way.) ... I pulled into the parking lot and I saw a guy in a blue gay ass eclipse... yeah, it was Casey Donald... ugh... I walked past him and he said, "whos car are you driving?? i know thats not yours".. yeah, I take that as an insult when men think I cant drive a 6 speed better than them when i know I can... (believe me, I CAN)... well... I started arguing with him... and he asked if I would help him carry these big gay speakers up to his barracks room .. so I did... and after that I didnt really think anything of him..

I ended up moving in with some other friends in their apartment building... I was having a big party one night and I invited EVERYONE i knew... I was at the barracks telling people about it... and Casey was there, I was just getting out of the field (where you camp out in the field for weeks/days and you dont shower, so your a good marine...)... Casey made some crack about me smelling bad, and said he would show up.... well he did come to the party... long story short... we ended up dating... and for some reason I have NEVER been more enfatuated with someone in my entire life... I fell in such love with him... it was ridiculous... we ended up going to CAX together while we were in CLB 2... ... we had sex all the damn time out there... we werent exactly being that careful either... god damn I am so lucky I never got pregnant.. good god... but out there in CAX ( when marines go to the Mojave Desert in Cali and pretend like their in Iraq/Afgahan by sweating their asses off and shooting guns)... I was in love... because I was a gunner... I spent the whole first year in the fleet taking 50 cal classes and learning how to be a machine gun instructor... One day, we were getting ready to go on a Convoy out to a machine gun range... I got in my truck and up on the tourett( where the gunner sits on top the truck and holds on to the gun so it doesnt bounce off the truck .. cuz the roads out there are just AWESOME_)... my Sgt told me, "hey, get off the truck and tell the driver ahead of us his blinkers are on... " so i jumped down off the truck... putting my kevlar on the seat... I grabbed my rifle and by the time I got to the back of that other driver's truck, he shut the lights off... so I just went to walk between the back of the 7 ton and the front of this MRAP ( a kind of truck that was supposed to be "indestructable" .. HA!)... while I was walking between the trucks, some Marines from security company were trying to get this ladder to latch... but it was broken (these ladders connected to the armored trucks are heavy as hell!! most of them have hydraulic release on them.. but like i said, this one was broken)... well, they let go of the ladder right as I was walking past... and all I remember is waking up on the ground slightly shaking and seeing my Staff Sergeant yelling in my face... "Dang ol' Brede!! you ok??!?! " haha... yeah, as a reaction, I grabbed my rifle and just tried to get up and walk it off... I was soooo fucking dizzy... but I just wanted to get to the range and shoot my weapon... so went ahead and got back in the truck... a doc came and gave me an ice pack... which, in the fucking desert... obviously is kind of fucking irrelevant... but whatever... it was the thought that counts i suppose... I tried holding the ice pack on my head, but it hurt sooo fucking bad I couldnt hardly put pressure on it... and I had to hold my kevlar off to the side... omg it was the worst pain ever...

While we were on the way to the range, I started getting really really sleepy... but i didnt want to tell anyone.. I dont remember driving there... getting out of the truck, getting into formation... I remember nothing... I guess I past out, or something because, I got med-evacd (taken away from some military operation because you got fucked up somehow)... and again all i remember is SSGT Kelly trying to make me laugh on the way to the BAS (a small wanna be hospital that marines put up... it really is a joke...)... when I got there ... i remember some Doc telling me... your going to stay here for a couple hours... and were going to see if you fall asleep because if you fall asleep you have a concussion.... yeah I fell asleep right when he was saying all that.. I woke up in an ambulance while they were putting an IV in my hand!!! // my veins and blood vessels are sooo fucking shitty.. their tiny like I have been a smoker my whole entire life... but I havent... ugh... again another shitty aspect of me...// I had a CT scan (CAT SCAN)... and an MRI eventually at another doctor... they determined that I had bruising... and a delayed reaction to a severe concussion... they also determined that I had heart problems... but yeah... I'm not sure why....

For the rest of my CAX expierience, I layed in my cot... and sweated... and looked up at the roof of the hooch (what we call a giant pop can laying on its side halfway covered in sand, so we could live in it in the desert...)... it fucking sucked... the only joy in my life was laffy taffy and seeing casey every once in a while... I had to be escorted down to the chow hall by docs or by fellow marines because my delayed reaction to my concussion made me really really shakey and I could hardly walk, hold a spoon, or see out of my left eye.. which continued to get worse and worse...

all in all when we got back to camp lejeune, i had to go see a medical officer... he handed me a limited duty sheet... and told me I wouldnt be deploying... ( like 15 minutes before we left)... the worst day of my life... I was so ready to go shoot bitches... haha... yeah... I remember driving home that night, feeling completely worthless... and wondering wtf happend to my vision in my left eye... it was so fucking frustrating... I always felt like there was someone standing where I couldnt see them... I became really really paranoid.. I would jump at any loud sound and if someone touched my shoulder, it was horrible!!!.. after all of this, I decided I was going to have a good time while I could..

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Well, here I was, 18 years old... in the middle of my senior year... married... (((STUPID!!!!))) Jake absolutely loved the idea of us being married, and tried to make the best of it and be the greatest husband a 21 year old could be... which, in my book was ABSOLUTELY the most annoying thing possible! i hated that he was always around... and he always wanted to hang out with me and would just call and call. I was still in highschool mindset, and I spent my days, working on the farm with my friends, and then I would take off at night and get drunk or booze cruise the gravel roads!! I remember a few times taking off after school to Mapleton, Iowa with a few of my friends, and Jake called, all my friends pretended like they were men and started talking in the back ground... Jake ended up going to Mapleton and looking for me! ...

Wow I really was a bitch now that i look back on it... haha... I cant say much, I was 18!! who the hell wants to be selfless at that age!? not many people!!! psh, I didnt care what anyone else thought or wanted of me, I was going to have a damn good time while I could!!

At this time, Jake had already joined the Marine Corps... I was already a Poolee.. only because I had to graduate first! So here we were, he was getting ready to go to MOS school down in El Paso, Texas... and I was on the verge of well, not giving a damn apparently... Oh my gosh, thinking about all of this again is just making me feel HORRIBLE! lol I cheated on Jake so many times... ugh I dont even want to say how many... (not that it was a lot of different guys... it was the same ones haha im not that big of a hoe!) I, myself find it hard to have sex with new men that I meet... I've had BAD experiences with small weiners and I DO NOT want to go back down that road again... hahahaha anyway, back to my story...

So off Jake went to Texas, and here I was at the end of my senior year.. well, lets just say, I wasnt going to let my last few days go to waste!!... I drank from sun up to sun down EVERY damn day in the last 4 months of my senior year... not joking AT ALL. Justin Bockelmann, Brad Bockelmann, Lacy Peterson, Laura Myrtue... you know what we did for fun hahaha dear god... my liver hurts just thinking about it... I will say, that Justin and I didn't stay "just friends" AHEM!! if you know what i mean! haha--

One of my most memorable stories with all of us was when I had a big party at my Dad's house ... we were all playing beer pong and tippy cup, when I got the bright idea to pile in the back of boomer's truck (Justin's) and drive down the gravel road to the old cemetery to climb trees!! ((the trees in the cemetery are among the oldest in our county! haven't been messed with since the 1700s) Well, there we all went roaring down the road, standing up in the back of a truck, yelling and throwing cans and bottles... when we reached the cemetery... off we went, boomer and I in the lead... we climbed alllll the way to the top of this giant oak tree... "DAMN! this tree is fuckin' HUGE!!! look how far up we are!!" Boomer said... yeah, well , I looked down and I said "HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!! how the hell are we going to get down!!??" yeah, we hadn't really thought about the whole climbing down/ jumping down... mind you-- we were a good 35 feet up in the air (cuz when i say, top of the tree, I MEAN IT!) Then we hear Boomer's cousin Brad... "hey guys!! guess what!? this trees got a big hole in the middle!!! and I'm in it!!! hehehehehe" ... dear god brad hahaha i hope you read this blog cuz i know you'll laugh at my uncanny ability to illustrate your drunkenness :)

So here we were stuck up in this big ol' tree... well, we started to shimmy down as much as we could... which hurt like a bitch because of course, I was dressed like a straight "please have sex with me - hoe" and boomer was in ya know, dude clothes... jeans and a t-shirt haha anyway, when I got to the base of the tree, down about 8 feet, this kid, Kyle Micklus ((who is now a child molester--- irrelivent i know, but you should know...)) anyway, this kid says,, "STICK!! go ahead and jump!! I got you!! DOONNT WORRY!!"... ok kids lets remember... i had been drinking all damn day.. So me of course reply "Really?? you sure?? ooookaay!! here I co-" yeah, before I finished saying that I pretty much just hurled myself out of the tree and landed my 145lb (at the time) body right on top of poor Kyle.. judging from the way he acted afterwards... I think he misjudged EXACTLY how high I actually was up in that tree... oh, but i was ok! thanks for asking!!! .... assholes hahaha.... In my drunken stupor, I pretty much just got up and walked back to the truck ... I wish I could tell you how boomer got down... i dont know... hes still alive today, so it happend... whatever.. moving on~!!

Well, I couldnt skip right to graduation!... sooo im going to write about my graduation party!... oh good grief... set the scene.. my dads farm... out in the country, big brown house on top of a hill with a HUGE machine shop (pretty much like an oversize garage) ... we cleared out the "garage" and made one side, an open bar... bottles of captain morgan, jager, vodka, coolers and coolers of beer and more beer... oh, DO NOT forget my specialty... JUNGLE JUICE... ahhh the most delicious blend of gallons of everclear and koolaide complete with tid bits of apples, oranges, grapes, and melons... YUUMM!!! the other side of the shop was my memoir section, where I put all my scrap books and little slide show I created... and the other little corner was where the DJ was... yeah, I'm that awesome! haha... I had a blast that night! so many people showed up... no one went to jail... and I got to dance to our class of 2007 song "lets get fucked up" (self proclaimed) hehe... ahh i knew how to party....

Well, the day finally came, graduation day.... as i was driving to my ceremony (still having some drinks)... my recruiter calls me... "hey, so how do you feel about going to boot camp today??.. you'll get a $3,000 bonus"... well, I was already under the impression that being a marine was going to fucking rule, so of course, I said yes... I ran back to the house, and got my stupid, douche bag looking button up shirt and "nice jeans " (just a side note... the underwear I grabbed were completely uncomfortable and HUGE.. because some fag told me to wear granny panties... ugh!! if i could go back... I WOULD... ass hole)).... anyway... here we go... were at our high school, and Lacy Peterson and I go in the bathroom to have a few more celebratory shots! hehe... after all the tear shedding and diploma handing out... here we go... I walked outside... everyone was crying... and off I went, into the recruiters car and down to MEPS... in Des Moines Iowa... which is like 3 hours from where I live... because APPARENTLY Iowa thinks it is unnecessary to have somewhere more convenient or close to sign our fucking lives away...

Here I was, at my hotel room down in Des Moines, once again... waiting... I remember laying in bed thinking... here we go... I've got like, 6 months, and I'll be on the front lines shooting the 50 cal killin bitches!~... yeah, shut up, if you ever have joined the military, you thought the same damn thing, dont talk shit..... well, so I checked in to that damn place where you sit straight, dont talk... DUCK WALK... and have some old guy look at your asshole when you bend over... bugghhh... yuck.. i can only imagine what my butt hole looked like.. hahaha (yeah i took that a different way than you thought huh?) haha... well, then we were bused over to the airport, given our stupid paperwork and our little "battle buddies"... and off we went to boot camp... my battle buddy was this 6 foot tall monster looking girl... her name was Heather... she was kinda one of those gentle giant people.. she didnt talk AT ALL... so I pretty much just sat by myself the whole time and thought about how big of a badass I was going to be and how I was going to rule the Marine Corps when I finally got out of boot camp...

BAM!!! after getting off my plane and back on one twice, and getting on some random ass bus... Some crazy ass dude with a state trooper hat gets on the bus and starts calling us names, and tells us to "get the fuck off the bus, and that we were disgusting little fucking nasty maggots... " quite rude... hahah jk I was sooo out of it at this point... I hadnt slept in like DAYS ... So I get off the bus, and I was so damn pissed cuz I made the fucking mistake of sitting toward the back of the bus... well, I went to find my special little yellow footprints... yeah, they were all taken... so i had some crazy bitch yelling "why are you so fucking slow!?!? find some footprints!!!! stand straight!!!!! SAY AYE MAAM!!!"... yeah... ok I was fucking scared then... and I had no god damn Idea what was going on... I took my shit.. and went inside and we had to sit at these little desks with our faces down... not moving or talking at all... yeah... the only thing I could think about was... holy shit... what if i farted right now?!?! what would they do??.. cuz that's not always something you can just control when you want to... hahaha... well, after a long night of, sitting in a line, standing in a line, getting all of our shit issued to us.. getting our pictures taken (which always look like shit, cuz they tell you not to smile... and you always end up looking like you just broke out of prison and someone caught you)......

I remember being marched in a huge group of females to our new barracks... and we all sat down on the floor and met our new Senior Drill Instructor... and our Kill Hats... yeah, to me... my senior DI was something new and completely weird... she was black, and was from some islands that started with ah T.. (i suck at remembering) SSGT. Calliste... yeah, she was pretty insane.. SSGT Vasquez and I cant remember the other SGT's name now.. fuck... anyway, Vasquez was about as tall as my shoulders.. and ssgt calliste was about as skinny as my left arm.. ... yeah, I remember that first week... they tested us.. Vasquez came up to me because I was laughing(giggling quietly really) and she said "shrink to my level RA-CRUTE!" hehe yeah thats how she said it... so I shrunk down til I was eye to eye with her... she started yelling in my face and as she was finishing up, making me feel like shit... she spit this big Loogie RIGHT ON MY FACE... it slid down towards my mouth... i wanted more than anything in the world to wipe my face!!!!! but I knew I couldnt move... oh dear god... please, tell me anyone in the world who has the kind of dicipline to just let a loogie roll from their nose onto their lips ... I will shake their god damn hand... I ended up moving and wiping it off right as it touched my top lip... Yeah, I got quarter decked ( I had to go to the front of our squad bay and do pushups, crunches, planks, leg lifts... whatever right in front of everyone).... and in bootcamp, theres this weird thing... its so stupid now.. but when your there.. it makes so much sense... whenever someone gets in trouble... our normal reaction would be to stand there and watch them get their punishment... oh, no, well in the marine corps... whenever one of your fellow recruits/marines goes down.. you best be going down with them... oh yeah, ... when one of us got quarter decked... EVERYONE would get down and start doing pushups... when I first saw that, I was so damn confused... but I realize now that, they werent doing it because they liked me as a person, or marine... its because they really didnt feel like being GP (general population/ boring recruits or marines who get no recognation for anything they do)

Yeah, lets just say I got quarter decked ALLL the damn time... Once, my mom sent me some air heads in a letter... well, my DI said, take the box to your rack (bed) and bring me back all the airheads... well, i saved two... one for me and one for my friend Amanda... yeah.. well, that night, we ended up eating our air heads... and I was smart, so I ate mine... and savored it for sooo long.. AH!! you cannot imagine the wonderful taste of candy after a month or two of hard exercise and no sweets.. its amazing... after it was gone, I crumped up the wrapper, and threw it away in some wet toilet paper, so it would look like someone blew there nose... well, amanda ... she went to put hers in her Cammie pants pocket... but on the contrary.. she put it in MY pocket... I had no idea... so the next day, we had field day.. we cleaned and cleaned and eventually one of our DI's was having a bad day... so she was taking groups of 4 out to "the pit" which was really just a sandbox... it didnt look so bad.. it really wasnt... just REALLY FUCKING HOT and full fo sand fleas... anyway, when you go into the pit, they make you take off your blouse, and empty your pockets... well, when I went to empty my pockets... a piece of the airhead wrapper flew out, caught the wind and landing right in front of my DI... oh sweet baby jesus.. i knew I was in for it.. oh yeah, that day I got I.T'd for hours (a DI yelling in your face as you vigorously work out until they say stop).... I went to the pit four times that day... it was ... awesome... ugh...

In bootcamp, I did a lot of rifle holding (holding our 7 pound rifles out in front of us for hours at a time)... pushups, crunches... whatever... you name it... i did a lot of it... yeah, I always tried to help everyone out to... like the smaller female marines... the ones that were like four foot tall.. we would go on these combat courses and they couldnt climb over the obstacles.. so i would pick em up and throw em over... but NOOO no one would ever help me... I had to figure it out for myself.... but I figured that would only make me a stronger Marine later on...

I always got in trouble for staring off into the woods or somewhere else that had lots of plant life.. I thought the trees down here in the south were amazing... I've never seen palm trees, or pine trees with no branches on the bottoms.. it was pretty cool ... I remember walking through the woods one day when we were going to the machine gun range. I found a feather on the ground.. I was always told that was good luck... so i picked it up really quick and put it in my kevlar.. after that I got to shoot the 50 cal for the first time... I fell in love with it completely.. Everything about it... ahh.. the best thing ever..

I woke up this morning, pissed off... just thinking about all the time i have wasted in the united states marine corps... ill start at the beginning....

it was junior year 2005-2006... I was somehow under the impression that Marines were honored in the country , and if i became one, no one would ever look down on me, or treat me badly... in highschool, i wasnt exactly an A student.... well, I was, but the alcohol and pot made it hard to "concentrate" or keep interest. haha... Everyday at school, i would make plans to have a get together at my place, and who was going to buy the alcohol... I worked at a quick stop in Oto Iowa for my dad at the time, a quite little place, not many people came by most of the time... well, except my friends, to buy alcohol and cigarettes underage haha. I made about 8.00 an hour working from 5am to 3pm or from 4pm to 11pm... whatever hours were available... I ended up buying all my beer from the quick stop, which in a way was good, because it supported my dad's business, AND my habit. I would drink all day if I could. Eventually, I ran into an old ex of time, Jacob Brede. He and I had a lot of history, met when I was only 11 years old. I ended up inviting him to hang out with my friend Miranda Kluver and me out at Whiting River by the Winnebago Indian Reservation. We were alone for a while, and eventually, we ended up dating again..... and out of some spontanious leap, about two months later, he proposed to me on the side of the road right before we got to my Dad's house. I said yes, because I was still in highschool, and I didnt know any better. My senior year, I turned 18 on October 11th. We ended up making up this horrific plan to drive to Elk Point, South Dakota to get married right away, as you didnt have to apply for a marriage certificate in that state. We borrowed money from our families, and off we were, paid all the money, said our vows, and we were married.... afterwards, we went to "pizza hut"... how romantic.... I wish i could recall what my thought process was that day... But apparently I was happy...