'Why I only date married men'

I’ve only ever had one serious boyfriend and it wasn’t a very good experience for me.

He was very controlling, and I felt like I had no life. He wanted to know where I was at all times and was always phoning me. It was relentless.

She had one bad boyfriend experience, then swore to stick to married men. (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

He was also checking my phone bills and even checking my bank account to see where I’ve been spending my money. And it was MY money, nothing to do with him, but he still felt like he had a right to see what I was up to. He was paranoid that I was seeing other men, which I wasn’t.

I broke up with him and since then I’ve just never dated single men. I’ve only dated married men, or men who are in long term relationships.

I had a fling with a married guy, Stuart, and the best thing about it was that we had very separate lives. I never let him come to my apartment, we only ever caught up in hotel rooms or Airbnbs.

She loved that married men never wanted to tie her down. (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

I only let Stuart into my life for a short amount of time and he was the same with me. I never knew his wife’s name or what his kids’ names were. We just kept it all very separate.

Then, after about five months we mutually decided to call it quits. He was worried his wife was suspicious. That was okay by me because I moved on very quickly with another married man, Victor.

Victor started to get a bit clingy. (Getty)

I really liked Victor a lot, but he started to get a bit clingy with me and, when I told him one night that I was out partying with friends, he wanted to know where I was so he could come too. He got really pushy and aggressive with me on the phone. There’s no way I was having that.

So my affair with him didn’t last long. There were a couple of other married guys I met online. I’m sure people won’t be surprised to know that online dating is full of married men!

There was only one time I dated a married man that I probably would have liked to have had a long-term relationship with. Elliot was super intelligent, very good looking and Italian. He told me his wife (who was also Italian) had a jealous streak and would ‘kill’ any woman who tried to take him away from her.

Elliot was the only man who made her want more. (iStock)

We’d had sex in a hotel room and he answered his phone to her and it was pretty unnerving listening to them arguing – all in Italian so I didn’t understand a word. But they were clearly very passionate about each other.

Why do I prefer married men? It’s the fact that I’m not tied down because they don’t want to be tied down either. It’s really uncomplicated, even though people who’ve never had affairs think it must be very complicated.

You’re both using each other, either for companionship or sex or whatever they need that they’re not getting from their wife. And, for me, I’m feeling loved without feeing suffocated at the same time.

She plans to keep it up into her 40s. (Mumsnet)

I’m 37 and I’m not maternal at all, I’ve never seen myself as a mum, so that’s probably attractive to the men I’ve dated, that I’m not using them just so I can fall pregnant and have the ‘husband and baby cliché.’

I have no idea if I’ll still be hooking up with married men when I’m in my forties but it’s definitely suiting my way of life in my thirties, I’ve got no complaints.