Monday, October 15, 2012

For obvious reasons, I always look before I empty the Middle Kid’s pockets. I always do a quick reconnaissance, before I touch anything inside his school bag. I thought we’d hit an all-time EW! high, when I spotted the DEAD BIRD LYING AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SCHOOL BAG.

He said he collected the interesting piece of wood because it looked like a vulture. He has his eye out for two of the same in complementary sizings, so that we can arrange all three on the wall, in duck-like fashion.

TWO

I have an addiction to frozen blueberries. I cannot stop. I do an excellent impression of a Blue Tongued Lizard. The kids are mortified and keep warning me about the legend of the great aunt who turned bright orange from eating too many carrots. (She really, really did).

THREE

The Small drew a cockatoo on the wall. The Small scrubbed at the cockatoo and said it wouldn’t come off. Secretly I like the cockatoo.

Secretly I am collecting roadside-find picture frames. I plan to paint the empty frames white and mount them on a wall. Then there will be an open invitation to draw artful, direct-to-wall things. I also quite like the notion of a champagne-fuelled gallery launch.

FOUR

Jodie and Sarah’s Mum wanted an update on the state of the Dinosaur Egg. I am very sorry, Jodie and Sarah’s Mum, for the disappointing and hard-to-grasp imagery. A jungly garden seems to have grown around the Dinosaur Egg and there is no longer a clear line of sight. For three weeks during a wet, wet winter it looked doilied and verdant. Until a fungal affliction struck and the verdant was replaced with white spots. The white spots have eaten away at the doily bits. As far as a doilied, Jurassic-type Dinosaur Egg goes, it looks extra convincing.

PS. Jodie and Sarah’s Mum, if you are considering a stab at mossy creations, might I forewarn that success seems to depend on a truckload of commitment. It’s like keeping an ever-thirsty pet (don’t even think about a holiday).

PPS. Worthy of note is a distinct lack of green in either of my thumbs.

FIVE

The eldest has adopted a parsnip as a pet. This is Phillippa. I note Phillippa seems to be wearying of the experience and would probably prefer to be baked.

SIX

A Well Known Magazine published one of my patterns and forgot to ask permission. The Well Known Television Version of the Magazine filmed their own version of my tutorial and forgot to ask permission. I sent them an invoice. I emailed an invoice chase-up. Invoice was paid. Sometimes it’s all about the principle.

SEVEN

I am overusing the word ‘snazzy’. ‘Spiffy’ seems to creep in occasionally too. The other day, a youngish client asked me to make a poster design look ‘sexy’. But I am 41 and obviously nearly ancient. And I have a constantly weird-coloured tongue from too many blueberries. I can do snazzy posters, but ‘sexy’ is patently well beyond reach.

Love that bird lol ducks on the wall suck........far better to have wooden wonders!Nice one with the invoice but appalling that they considered themselves above the moral and legal law! May whoever made the decision to plagiarize, get painful piles!

Now snazzy and spiffy seem perfectly explananatory to me....lolFun post, made me chuckle no end, thanks!

I love that you "took it to the man'! and got your snazzy money!That is the most random piece of bark ever. Like, you know. (That's young person speak, apparently, which translates to" Wow, what a freaky piece of bark")Always enjoy reading your snazzy bits lady, thanks!Jenny

Tania, you and your family have so much creativity and art in you it is inspiring: so much to enjoy and wonder about with this post.I do like Miss parsnip. My big girl, who never played with dolls, had a butternut pumpkin we drew a face on - she wrapped it in a baby blanket and it was her baby for months. what is it about girls and vegetables?

Only you could have a Dinosaur Egg with Tamagotchi tendencies .Middle child's eye for a "green" flying duck is excellent , by the way . I can see the collection expanding exponentialy .It's so good to see you all back !

That son of yours is GOLD! I love your idea of the wall art, how fabulous, and not at all impressed by the stealing patterns bit, what a cheek!! What is with the word 'sexy' at the moment?? I hear people use it to describe the most inappropriate non sexy things! For instance, I have to share, I heard a parent compliment their child's ART WORK saying what a sexy dinosaur (or something), how does that fit? Baffled I am..x

I love that you just sent an invoice and i love even more that they paid - good on you!!!!!!!!! The cheek of them just using it without permission!

You can tell your kids that my mother & her hubby also went orange from eating too many carrots - absolutely true! I have a photo of my eldest daughter in the hospital when she was first born looking overcooked and very red next to grandma who looked very orange, who was next her severely aneamic very white looking great grandma! All from the same fam.

So many randomly wonderful things to see here! I love the idea of having a parsnip friend around. It's better than the potato friend that my daughter keeps asking for (after watching Small Potatoes online).

Am now feeling guilty about the frame I decided I couldn't be bothered painting. Put it in the bin last night. I have a feeling it might have made it back into the house by tomorrow night when I take the bins out.

On a more positive note, good on you invoice-wise. I love Phillippa's pigtails - perhaps you could dye the parsnip orange and enter it into the "weird carrot" competition at my son's school fete (no offense Phillippa!).

Over here we check pockets for acorns, once two acorns set free from a pocket in the washing machine became lodged in the innards and began to grow into a TREE, the repairman was quite animated when he produced the washing machine parts complete with oak roots and leaves!

An acupuncturist once told me I should stop eating bowls of frozen blueberries - I told her we should see other people, goodbye acupuncturist.

Perhaps you should have sent a job application with the invoice seeing as no one in charge of ideas on said magazine/show can come up with anything original

Wooo lady... I cannot now recall nearly a single word... except spiffy of course (love that word). So many snazzy things being made and achieved and found and created here. Love that you invoiced sneaky craft thieves but take back the name-calling because they have absolutely redeemed themselves. Kx

Trying to figure out how to put this. Was watching the US ice skating championships last night (by accident), and filled right up with wonder when they did those spinny-fountainy things in situ. Kind of like watching a zeotrope. You kind of remind me that - all these clever, intellectually agile bits you throw out so fast, it all becomes a sort of cheeky dance. Why can't I do that? I wanna do that. When I was 41, I couldn't do it. No surprise, then, I suppose, that i still can't. I think clever is the one thing I seriously regret not have been blessed with. Good thing people like you strut it for the general edification and delight of us masses. And sending the invoice - no drama, just justice. And it worked. How deeply satisfying.

About Me

Mother of three, wife to one, designer and craftster of the slightly obsessive kind. Myrtle and Eunice were two lovely old ladies who connected weekly over the Scrabble tiles. These Saturday battles of will and skill were a ritual as comfy as a hot Milo and handknitted blanket on a frosty day.