New Mom-to-be Needs Manly Advice

I'm a first time mom-to-be and what I really need more than anything is some advice from a man (unless the ladies have some good input, of course). My husband and I are newlyweds. We married after we found out about my bun in the oven (his idea, so there was no pressure from me). Within the last month, we have found out about our baby, married, and I moved from my condo in to his house. He also was promoted to patrol duty (he's a police officer) and it has all put emense stress on him. I can tell because he no longer wants me physically, or emotionally for that matter. I had to beg him the other night to have sex with me. It was miserable. My sex drive is through the roof and I feel more alone than ever.

He wont help me with house work and complains when I do ask for a little help. I can't have a convo with him about anything without him getting frazzled (I thought I was the one with a vagina..). He escapes to his video games and I'm left wondering how to cope with him and everything else that's going on with our lives. I feel for him and have been walking on egg shells to avoid confrontation and give him his space, but him pushing me away is making me not want to be with him and I'm starting to question if I'm gonna be alone in my pregnancy and my marraige (and shopping online for a new "husband replacer" with batteries). Guys, I really don't know what to do.

I have talked to him before and he takes all the blame, says sorry, things are great for a few days, then he goes back to being 'himself'. I fear things will only get worse. I need his love and support but he is so far away from me and I don't want to stress him out more and complain. I just need an easy way to get the things I want while giving him what he wants and needs, as well. What is goin on in my guy's head!?

I'm a first time mom-to-be and what I really need more than anything is some advice from a man (unless the ladies have some good input, of course). My husband and I are newlyweds. We married after we found out about my bun in the oven (his idea, so there was no pressure from me). Within the last month, we have found out about our baby, married, and I moved from my condo in to his house. He also was promoted to patrol duty (he's a police officer) and it has all put emense stress on him. I can tell because he no longer wants me physically, or emotionally for that matter. I had to beg him the other night to have sex with me. It was miserable. My sex drive is through the roof and I feel more alone than ever.

He wont help me with house work and complains when I do ask for a little help. I can't have a convo with him about anything without him getting frazzled (I thought I was the one with a vagina..). He escapes to his video games and I'm left wondering how to cope with him and everything else that's going on with our lives. I feel for him and have been walking on egg shells to avoid confrontation and give him his space, but him pushing me away is making me not want to be with him and I'm starting to question if I'm gonna be alone in my pregnancy and my marraige (and shopping online for a new "husband replacer" with batteries). Guys, I really don't know what to do.

I have talked to him before and he takes all the blame, says sorry, things are great for a few days, then he goes back to being 'himself'. I fear things will only get worse. I need his love and support but he is so far away from me and I don't want to stress him out more and complain. I just need an easy way to get the things I want while giving him what he wants and needs, as well. What is goin on in my guy's head!?

Honestly, I don't understand why anyone would get married just because they were expecting. I'm sorry you are going through this, but how can you even think that you could find out your expecting, get married and move in together within a month and not have any stress or drama. AND THE KID HASN'T EVEN COME YET!... I hope it's just the fact that he is extremely stressed out about having a child. Good luck.

Honestly, I don't understand why anyone would get married just because they were expecting. I'm sorry you are going through this, but how can you even think that you could find out your expecting, get married and move in together within a month and not have any stress or drama. AND THE KID HASN'T EVEN COME YET!... I hope it's just the fact that he is extremely stressed out about having a child. Good luck.

Get the book "I love a cop". My dh was in law enforcement for 10 years, 7 as a dispatcher and 3 1/2 as a deputy. This book saved us, and helped both of us to figure out how to communicate. Patrol is a rough place to work, and he may be trying to keep some of the rough stuff he's dealt with from bothering you. My dh was like that, until I let him know it was ok to talk, and that he couldn't just shut down and ignore me and life.Make friends with other cop wives, and have a support system. LEO life is hard, but once the two of you are on the same page it is so worth it! Hth!

Get the book "I love a cop". My dh was in law enforcement for 10 years, 7 as a dispatcher and 3 1/2 as a deputy. This book saved us, and helped both of us to figure out how to communicate. Patrol is a rough place to work, and he may be trying to keep some of the rough stuff he's dealt with from bothering you. My dh was like that, until I let him know it was ok to talk, and that he couldn't just shut down and ignore me and life.Make friends with other cop wives, and have a support system. LEO life is hard, but once the two of you are on the same page it is so worth it! Hth!

I'm a guy, but I'm afraid I don't have much info for you. Despite how much I would like to be, I'm not a psychic, so I can't tell you what's going on in your husband's head. I would say that most guys are very resistant to change - just give him some time and space and see if he can adjust to all of these sudden changes in his life.

I'm a guy, but I'm afraid I don't have much info for you. Despite how much I would like to be, I'm not a psychic, so I can't tell you what's going on in your husband's head. I would say that most guys are very resistant to change - just give him some time and space and see if he can adjust to all of these sudden changes in his life.

I think that your husband is probably nervous of all the change in such a short amount of time. and expecting a child is not a good enough reason to get married. My bf and I have been together over 2 yrs and we talked about having a child. But we decided to put it off (couple of wks later I found out I was already pregnant). When I found out I was nervous and excited and I wanted to talk to him about it. But he never wanted to talk until he was ready. So I stopped talking about it and eventually he started wanting to talk. So give him some time. He probably doesn't want to hurt your feelings.

I think that your husband is probably nervous of all the change in such a short amount of time. and expecting a child is not a good enough reason to get married. My bf and I have been together over 2 yrs and we talked about having a child. But we decided to put it off (couple of wks later I found out I was already pregnant). When I found out I was nervous and excited and I wanted to talk to him about it. But he never wanted to talk until he was ready. So I stopped talking about it and eventually he started wanting to talk. So give him some time. He probably doesn't want to hurt your feelings.

I am a guy ( first of all, every one of these things I read all of u women want sex alot and ur men say no we need more of u women out there ) sorry anyway parent of 2 and 1 due in 3 months , he is just stressed out alot has happened give him time is guys we don't handle change well . Talk to him about ur fellings and if u want sec that bad jump his ass he won't say no lol

I am a guy ( first of all, every one of these things I read all of u women want sex alot and ur men say no we need more of u women out there ) sorry anyway parent of 2 and 1 due in 3 months , he is just stressed out alot has happened give him time is guys we don't handle change well . Talk to him about ur fellings and if u want sec that bad jump his ass he won't say no lol

I would get the book kiar was speaking of. I was involved with a CO for awhile and when you're dealing with law enforcement/corrections they do tend to emotionally withdrawal. Read the book, maybe it'll help. Hang in there :)

I would get the book kiar was speaking of. I was involved with a CO for awhile and when you're dealing with law enforcement/corrections they do tend to emotionally withdrawal. Read the book, maybe it'll help. Hang in there :)

If you are both up for it some couples counseling could be helpful. I am guessing that in the whirlwind you guys never discussed what your expectations for marriage and family were and now you aren't at all on the same page.

If you are both up for it some couples counseling could be helpful. I am guessing that in the whirlwind you guys never discussed what your expectations for marriage and family were and now you aren't at all on the same page.

Definitely get the book!My best friend is dating a cop, and his mom gave her the book. They go through a LOT of crap that we only hear 1/2 of in the media. I also think that maybe you guys rushed into a lot of changes, and it's most likely stressful for the both of you. Find something that you guys can do together to relieve stress. Go for a walk, take turns giving each other massages. You're pregnant and going through some wacky emotional and hormonal ups & downs, and everything all at once just adds to the emotions. Find something relaxing that you can do for yourself. And don't force the let's talk about our feelings thing. Although I know how hard that must be. Make friends with other police wives. They know what you're going through and can help you through it. My friend is on some forum for cop wives. I don't remember what it's called though. But she said there's tons of great advice there.

Definitely get the book!My best friend is dating a cop, and his mom gave her the book. They go through a LOT of crap that we only hear 1/2 of in the media. I also think that maybe you guys rushed into a lot of changes, and it's most likely stressful for the both of you. Find something that you guys can do together to relieve stress. Go for a walk, take turns giving each other massages. You're pregnant and going through some wacky emotional and hormonal ups & downs, and everything all at once just adds to the emotions. Find something relaxing that you can do for yourself. And don't force the let's talk about our feelings thing. Although I know how hard that must be. Make friends with other police wives. They know what you're going through and can help you through it. My friend is on some forum for cop wives. I don't remember what it's called though. But she said there's tons of great advice there.

This is just my experience but some things sound exactly how I was feeling. We had several big changes happen in our life. We bought a house, a couple months later he was forced to transfer with his job to another state. We thought life was perfect. Everything was falling into place. He had to move 1500 miles away without me while I stayed back and got the house we'd just bought sold. We were apart for 4-5 months. We had adjusted to life on our own then were back together in a new place having to adjust our lives again. All of it caused him to become depressed. It got really bad between us. We had a horrible year, but we made it. Big life changes can cause it. My husband was so much like what you say is going on with yours. I guess I have no real advice but wanted to share.

This is just my experience but some things sound exactly how I was feeling. We had several big changes happen in our life. We bought a house, a couple months later he was forced to transfer with his job to another state. We thought life was perfect. Everything was falling into place. He had to move 1500 miles away without me while I stayed back and got the house we'd just bought sold. We were apart for 4-5 months. We had adjusted to life on our own then were back together in a new place having to adjust our lives again. All of it caused him to become depressed. It got really bad between us. We had a horrible year, but we made it. Big life changes can cause it. My husband was so much like what you say is going on with yours. I guess I have no real advice but wanted to share.

Don't rule out the idea the thought of sex while the baby is in there freaks him out, it took 4 months for my fianc? to tell me that's why he isnt interested in sex at all. Guys can't figure out their feelings and don't like talking about them. Tell him you are here for him when he needs to talk and you just want him to understand that and leave it, you can say that there are things you want to talk about but that you want to take care if his needs first when he is up for it. Let him approach you even if it takes a week. Let him speak and I'm sure some of his problems are yours too that you can work out as long as you talk, don't point blame, and don't name call. Took 10 years to figure this secret out. Be willing to compromise and still be a little hurt afterwards.

Don't rule out the idea the thought of sex while the baby is in there freaks him out, it took 4 months for my fianc? to tell me that's why he isnt interested in sex at all. Guys can't figure out their feelings and don't like talking about them. Tell him you are here for him when he needs to talk and you just want him to understand that and leave it, you can say that there are things you want to talk about but that you want to take care if his needs first when he is up for it. Let him approach you even if it takes a week. Let him speak and I'm sure some of his problems are yours too that you can work out as long as you talk, don't point blame, and don't name call. Took 10 years to figure this secret out. Be willing to compromise and still be a little hurt afterwards.

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