Sarah Palin’s Porn Double Will Be At The Republican National Convention

Sarah Palin still hasn’t been invited to the Republican National Convention, and probably won’t because she’s the kiss of death to presidential campaigns, but that doesn’t mean her fellow rich white people can’t watch her porn double Lisa Ann strip for dollar bills in accordance with the good book. Take that, Obama! Via Jezebel:

Hoping to capitalize on conservative men’s possibly-lingering collective crush, a Tampa Bay strip club has hired a Sarah Palin lookalike to headline during the Republican National Convention in an attempt to draw in business. But this Faux-Palin just any exotic dancer — she’s adult film star Lisa Ann, who played Sarah Palin in several pornographic films about Sarah Palin. See? Republicans love women!

I know you’re all expecting some sort of liberal, snarky comment, but frankly, this kind of entrepreneurial spirit is what America’s all about. There’s just something inspiring about watching a proud business owner take a gamble on Sarah Palin only being granted political legitimacy because old white dudes want to bang her. You don’t see that kind of ingenuity anymore, mostly because some Mexican will just sneak across the border and steal this job, too. There’s probably one outside Home Depot right now wearing glasses and offering to wink for pennies on the dollar. WE NEED A BIGGER FENCE.

Here’s the clip from Bristol Palin’s reality show where her three-year-old Tripp calls Willow a faggot (I’m not even going to be cute, here’s where he heard it.) that I couldn’t get it up for to post yesterday because, honestly, how relevant are the Palins anymore? Outside of stories about their huge-breasted doppelgangers, of course. Let’s not get carried away.

“Captain’s Log, stardate 36EEEE. The Enterprise has pulled into orbit over Mammary B, the second of a twin pair of enormous moons in the notorious Lisa Ann system not far from the Neutral Zone. I have sent Commander Riker, Data and Geordie down to establish communication with the locals who are believed to possess the legendary AntiLife Equation.

Rumor has it that a female bespectacled performance artist — who pretends to be a political commentator of substance, does perverse things with her mouth, and is always eager to make an easy buck — will be seeking the spotlight in Tampa while the Republican Convention is in town.

The debate will probably never end about whether or not porn is the choice of a liberated feminist or the refuge of a brainwashed anti-feminist, but I guess I have to prefer the honest porn star over the “sex tape” celebrity. The former is working in an industry that will always have demand of some form, whereas the other is trying to manufacture demand for their own personal industry.