Transgender Liberation Means an End to “Passing”

For those not aware, “passing” is a term that refers to being perceived as cisgender when you’re trans. It’s often used in reference to walking down the street or having mundane interactions with strangers. Basically, it means successfully having it gone unnoticed that you are transgender.

I want to stress right now I have no issue whatsoever with any trans person who wants to be seen as cisgender. We live in a world where being seen as trans can be lethal. For some, “passing” isn’t just an inclination but a necessity to get through the day. In reality being seen as cisgender not only increases safety but eliminates misgendering, which can be very upsetting. Meanwhile, it can also alleviate gender dysphoria or simply be a preference. Every trans person has the right to pursue “passing” if that’s what they want for themselves.

But there’s a problem around “passing” in that the media consistently focuses on it as the ultimate goal for all trans people. They present it as some sort of prize that all of us should strive for, the day when we’re no longer seen as transgender.

This is a damaging message for a multitude of reasons and a concept I entirely reject.

I don’t want a society where trans people have more ways to “pass”, where we’re encouraged to hate the parts of ourselves that don’t conform to heteronormative beauty standards. I want a society where we don’t have to look cisgender just to be respected.

If as a society we strive to simply make it easier for trans people to hide the fact they’re trans, or encourage all trans people to look cisgender, then we’re not dealing with the root of the problem. The real cause of transphobia isn’t being recognised as trans, it’s that some people still treat trans people like dirt.

The media perpetuate the idea that being trans is undesirable and have a lot of culpability here, whether it’s explicitly through jokes, or in more subtle ways such as language choice when reporting on trans people. The message is the same: trans people should look cis and not looking cis is worthy of mockery or akin to failure.

If we create a climate where the media only panders to pretty “passing” trans people, which arguably is where we are right now, then we haven’t achieved trans acceptance. All we’ve reached is an environment where it’s safe to conform to heteronormative binary gendered expectations. That’s not even a standard that all of us can reach, never mind want to.

Another issue wrapped up in the “passing” debate, which seems to often be overlooked, is not every trans person even identifies on a binary spectrum. Not every trans person wants to “pass” as male or female because they are neither male nor female to begin with.

Regardless of how you identity, when you’re transgender misgendering hurts, it sucks. If you’re a trans person you know it’s difficult to control how you feel when you’re referred to by the wrong pronoun in public, some people can shrug it off and for others it really stings. It’s a sad reality that the blame is often placed on trans people when they’re misgendered, claiming they didn’t “pass well”, when the real long term solution is that both cis and trans people need to realise that you can never know someone’s gender. Until someone tells you what gender they are, then we need to respect that we cannot assume it. Ever. What someone is wearing, how they move, or how they look, does not indicate their gender. It is not anyone’s responsibility to convince others of what gender they are through performance or presentation. Trans people deserve to be believed and respected when they explain what gender they are, regardless. That’s the message the media should be pushing.

“Passing” as a concept puts the responsibility on the trans person themselves to prove or establish their gender before they’ve even said a word. It’s a standard cis people are not held to, it’s unreasonable and downright unfair to expect trans people to maintain it.

Most simply, we will not achieve trans liberation until “passing” is purely a personal preference and not about finding safety and respect. Until someone can “look transgender” either through choice or otherwise, and still have people respect what gender they are once they state it, then we’ve not reached a place where every trans person is equal.

The concept of “passing”, as a requisite for respecting and legitimising someone’s gender, needs to end.

I write this not because I want to nitpick or pointlessly complain, but because I’m worried the trans movement is leaving people behind in the name of progress and I don’t want to subscribe to a brand of trans activism which only furthers the interests of one group.

We need to fight for a trans activism which carries everybody forward, because otherwise, what’s the point?

Note: This article is adapted from a tweet thread I made last week, which you can read here. Meanwhile, I also want to mention my good friend Laura Kate Dale also wrote about passing recently here in a great article of her own, which you should also check out.

About The Author

Mia describes herself as a twenty-something trans woman and total geek. You can find her on Twitter at @OhMiaGod, where she talks about life, trans issues and comic books. If you want to help support her and this website, you can also find her on Patreon.

6 Comments

Love the posh new website, Mia – and whatever you’ve done to migrate updates has worked!

Great post and thought-provoking as ever. However the thought that comes to mind is ‘hope triumphing over experience’. As recent political events have shown, civility can be a very thin veneer and whilst I agree with everything you say, the reality is that for many of us ‘passing’ isn’t an aspiration, it feels a necessity for personal safety even if it causes a brief ‘are they or aren’t they?’ moment in some. The more emotionally intelligent in society have no problem either way – I’m under no illusion there are many occasions where I’m sussed (or known) as trans, but treated with respect and correctly gendered; my concern is that there are still plenty who – dare I say – take pleasure in misgendering us to make a point. And whilst it may feel like capitulation, I think we owe it to not just ourselves, but others in the trans community to conform to societal norms as best we can, if only for our own and others’ sake and safety – especially in these uncertain times where the emotionally unintelligent seem to have acquired a disproportionately loud voice, supported by certain elements of the media.

I think you’re right in that unfortunately there will always be jerks who want to make life bad for trans folk or try make us uncomfortable on purpose. But I think ultimately, every trans person should do what they feel they want to do, wether that’s blend in or stand out. I’m always reminded of Nine Worlds, the convention, which is the only place I’ve been where nobody will assume your gender and panelists are specifically asked to not use gendered terms when answering questions from the audience. I know it seems borderline impossible to get wider society to adapt to that mindset, to stop making assumptions at a glance, but I believe it’s an ideal goal that trans feminism should strive to reach. Obviously there are more pressing immediate issues, but I think as an overall goal it’s a healthier mindset for events and activists to channel and has a trickle-down effect to other trans issues too. I’m just concerned that the over reliance in the media of “Born a man” and “Here’s what they look like now!!” type reporting pushes a damaging message that being trans is the journey to look pretty.

Have to agree with you Ruth. In an idealised world this should not matter but this is nowhere near being an ideal world. Safety is paramount and I will always choose safety. And as you say and I agree a good blog. Thought provoking.

I found out about your website today! It’s been helping me make sense out of stuff. So thanks for that.

I can only speak about myself but this whole passing thing is making me kinda uneasy. I fully agree that we should all get respect regardless of whether or not we look like cis. Thing is, I really *really* like wearing girly clothes (like dresses, can’t stress enough how much XD), makeup and most things that are typicaly feminine. Sometimes I feel like I’m putting too much emphasis on passing. I don’t know, like I’m doing something wrong, that I’m perpetuating the message that passing is the ultimate and only goal.

What can I say I enjoy feeling pretty and feminine, is that wrong ? I’m seriously asking, I’m fairly new to this ‘being trans business’, I’ve only accepted the truth about myself 9 months ago and I still haven’t started HRT. Though honnestly, I cannot see a future where I don’t.