Discipline v. Punishment

Katarina Anne Friedlein 11/13/2012 Page of Page of Page of Page of Page of Page of Page of Page of Page of Page of Page of Page of Life needs direction. Does this mean that children need a firm hand to put them on the right path of life?Parents correct their children in various ways. Parents who punish use assorted penance; there are many different types of children that claim altered forms of retributions for their actions. Discipline and punishment are not interchangeable, but they are opposing forces.The best way to let children learn is through discipline. Observable behaviorsare not based on thoughts, fantasies, or other mental images. Behaviorists argue that emotional learning is acquired through classical conditioning not operant conditioning. Behavior is taught and learned in many ways. Two of those ways are operant and classical conditioning. Operant conditioning is taught through effects. Classical conditioning uses positive enforce stimuli not negativeincentives. Negative motivation increases the frequencies of behaviors. For example, fear is a negativeeffect (Rathus, 2011). Inductive methods aim to give knowledge with reasoning or explaining of behaviors whether they are positive or negative. Parents deliver values or standards in ways that are authoritative. Authoritative parents are restrictive or demanding, but at the same time they are warm and communicative (Rathus, 2011).Authoritative parenting has clear expectations as well as crystal clear consequences. This type of parent is flexible, and they collaborative on problem-solving with the child when dealing with behavioral problems. This form of parenting is the most effective style of parenting (WebMD, 2005-2012). Authoritarian parents demand submission and obedience (Rathus, 2011). Authoritarian parenting also has clear expectations as well as consequences. This type of parent shows little affection for the child. This form is one of the least effective styles of parenting (WebMD, 2005-2012). Then permissive parents are warm, and not restrictive (Rathus, 2011). This genre of parenting shows a lot of affection towards the child with little to no discipline. This form is probably the form of parenting that should not be involved, because the child would become spoiled (WebMD, 2005-2012). Punishment is a tool that is used after the problem surfaces, and focuses on what is wrong instead of what needs to be done. Punishment consists of penalties and restrictions that often have nothing to do with the conduct. Chastening or restraining a child puts the responsibility for enforcement on a parent to not encourage teens to become responsible for his or her actions. Some people are concerned that children pay for wrongdoings. For example, there have been teenagers that were skipping school regularly to go to the mall. There are many versions of punishment like grounding, banning TV, and restricting mall privileges. Parents need to start listening to the feelings of their children about school, go to school meetings, and then revoke privileges if needed. Alone, these actions are not the answers to solve the problem. Adults should use the if-then tool if theyare going to school to complete the homework, then the entitlements will be reinstated (Gengler, 2011). Punishment is short and sweet, but some parents are cruel. Some people vote for no punishment as others vote for limited punishments. They are similar in giving the child some random type of punishment for some random act of behavior (Phelan, 2010). Punishment is often interchanged with discipline; this is where people tend to lose sight of the true meaning or purpose of letting the child know what they did wrong by not being mean or belittling the intelligence of the child. Scolding without losing your temper is greatly appreciated. Stealth discipline or Grandmas rule is the best, just simply, because this rule reminds the child of the consequences (Graydanus&Bashe, 2003). The Grandma rule has understood that children do certain chores as members of the family. Children earn their privileges by fulfilling their day by doing their chores first before they do anything else. The first step is to grant a chore, action, or activity before the child gains a privilege. The benefits, for this rule, are actually tri-folded. The first step is to have a specific request that the child can understand. The second part of the tri-fold is to acknowledge the childs wants and needs at the same time that the care taker is having a wants or needs issue. The last part is to approach the issue in a way that would invite the child to cooperate. The steps work like this: if a child would do a chore like clean their room then after they do that chore they can go to their friends house. This compromise eliminates some of the fighting, and creates a more positive atmosphere (Pantley, 2001). Punishment is like a drill sergeant type of parent or the dictator type. Love is caught not taught if the parents act this way towards the child. The first principle says that rejecting or neglecting parents are parents that are neither restrictive nor controlling, but not supportive or responsive. Relationships can go into accordance of birth order which lets children learn by socializing as these children become hostile. Children who are physically punished will be more aggressive than others as the parents and others serve as models of aggression. However, children frequently weigh positives and negatives of behavior they observethroughout time (Cline & Jay, 2006). Physical punishment is comparable to alternate forms widely used like spanking; some people think that spanking doesnt teach new behaviors (Bettleheim, Nov. 1985). Some other forms of bad punishment are slapping, pinching, and verbal mixed with non-verbal threats (Liberty House Child Abuse Assessment Center, n.d.). Generational shifts in attitudes causesome mothers to compare their physical punishment to what their parents did in the past. Some people have said that they use less severe punishment, or different punishments used under varying conditions (Bettleheim, Nov. 1985). Physical punishments are judged upon their children when they are the main models for their children, and some virtues are not instilled in them. Punishment teaches children who has the power, and who can enforce their will on others. Juveniles can punish the parent when old enough. Injured feelings can last longer than physical pain such as someone who has been abused. For furthering the example, punishment and emotional feelings go towards a person washing their mouths out with soap because of the bad language which is mostly uncomfortable, but not physical. The soap could have irritants like lye which could cause health problems later on in life. Plus, the psychological problems could arise later in life. In a way, it is physical since a kid could swallow some harmful irritants. This method could teach the child to say profanity out loud then say the words to them with any slight frustration with silent condemnation. Then the children would probably not form any good relationships which would make them angrier and say worse swear words than what they do now (Bettleheim, Nov. 1985). Argument Its a difficult job for the parent to face the punishment. Since birth, a kid looks for a routine which makes the child feel safe and mature. A care taker is the most important person in the life of a child. The child is the new member of the family as they learn the rest of their lives. Every child is unique with unpredictable limits. Setting limits is not punishment. The world would make sense since they depend on the parent for control. Children learn natural patterns. Children also focus on those natural patterns which create predictable schedules; the comforting routines which a baby can rely on like reading a story (Brazelton, 2008). In the end, punishment is a common practice with short-term disadvantages since hitting doesnt teach children alternative ways to handle their problems or desired behavior. Punishment affects feelings of self-worth, an authority figure must be present in case someone else disciplines the child, and some forms are prohibited by the Minimum Licensing Requirements (DSHS, 1993). Discipline means to teach. Helping teens learn what to do also helps teens and parents. This form of discipline for child rearing emphasizes nurturing and guiding. This configuration or type of control instills a positive way to teach self-control and confidence. Parents use these strategies to prevent problems plus guidance to manage conflicts. This means that that this drilling would teach teens how to handle them in the future. Related tactics directly deals with the misbehavior that helps children develop self-discipline, and master how to become responsible. Ultimately, parents are assisting juveniles to accept the natural and logical consequences of their misbehavior (Gengler, 2011). Discipline takes a calm person to respond to what has happened. These people use I messages in a state of disapproval which focuses on the behavior not the child. They make corrections by being instructive and encourage the childs attempts by using praise for good behavior. In the end, discipline nurtures the positive qualities (Borba, 2003). Despite the differences between discipline and punishment, they are very similar. With discipline, parents talk to their juveniles like they are adults. If a parent talks too much, there is a lot of emotion. Excessive planning makes children less likely to cooperate. If the child is not willing to cooperate, the situation could be irritating, confusing, and distracting to parents because they do not understand what they will be doing to the child in the long run. If someone is bad at talking or expressing themselves, its because modern psychology tells people to let it all out (Phelan, 2010). The differences are widely spread apart like they are polar opposites. Discipline is great for people with diseases like epilepsy because these people need a different style of discipline. Some examples of causes, provoked or unprovoked by people, are sleep deprivation, alcohol withdrawal, drug usage, strobe lights, high fever, hypoglycemia, imbalances, or hypoxia. The symptoms depend on the part of the brain that is hit with this disease. It takes special care from the provider to know what the child needs as well as the child knowing what they can and cannot do (Muma& Lyons, 2012). Discipline creates positive examples. A parent might explain calmly what the child did wrong by giving a directive by setting a limit. Children model after their care givers so show an example of what they have seen. Make charts to track positive behavior. With this chart, set goals for getting something as a reward for all of the good behavior. If there have been bad performances, take so many points or stickers away for that behavior (Liberty House Child Abuse Assessment Center, n.d.). When the child is older, talk about the routines like when they are supposed to go to bed which gives them another level of security. They can be surprised at the response since every experience is a learning experience. They watch the care taker closely as they begin to copy what the parent do well into childhood (Brazelton, 2008). There are causes and effects to the discipline like crying. When there are not emergencies, dont handle the behavior right then; talk to them the next day. The second principle says that the angrier that the parents are, the importance to lower the voice is greater. The third principle says that the care taker should talk about the behaviors of the child with other people before deciding what to do. Consequences are better after entering a thinking state after leaving an emotional state. Children also act out if they are between two homes since they get affected by all of the emotional states between the people around them which could lead kids to get angry quicker. Like what was stated earlier, children mimic what the care taker does so also watch out what for what comes out of the parents mouth say or do around them (Brazelton, 2008). Punishment is the externalization of controls of pain. Many forms of punishment are illegal. Since many forms are illegal, there are many problems that deal with punishment. The immediate rewards lead to long-term disadvantages, and the problems teach children to use force to the point where they lie and sneak around just to avoid the abuse. In the end, children cant learn properly with fear and humiliation on their minds (DSHS, 1993). Discipline works better when there is a set of rules that govern a persons behavior which would conduct how they would grow into adults. When they reach that stage, they will internalize the rules since they know what to do as well as not to do in certain situations. They will be more problem-solvers instead of trouble makers which enhances self-concepts (DSHS, 1993). The first step, for a care taker, is to understand why the children misbehave. The children might misbehave because they may be out of food which means that they are starving. This leads to at least six outcomes. The first reaction is to ask a grocery store manager for food in exchange for work. The second result would be to stand at intersections asking for help. The third aftermath would be going door to door asking for food. The fourth aftereffect would be to steal food which isnt that morally wrong if you have children or siblings, but from a legal standpoint it is wrong. The fifth repercussion is to stand outside a restaurant, and ask someone to buy something for their siblings or children, if they have any. The very last reverberation or consequence is to prostitute themselves (DSHS, 1993). Discipline can be more effective since it teaches the children more appropriate behavior, dealing with issues without attacking the children, and it doesnt judge, blame, or tear down childrens esteem or self-worth. Discipline also teaches children how to cooperate with others. Children develop positive problem-solving skills for the adult world. Discipline works better on juveniles when the care taker understands the needs of the child behind all behaviors. The best way to understand is to figure out the need with listening; focus on that instead of the misbehavior. Make rules that the child can follow; explore the alternatives that would make the child as well as the parent happy. Modifying the environment would make that a successful hit. The home would be karma free well not the free, but would have a better life by preventing some problems from developing later on. If you prevent problems, then the child would grow up to be wiser for your help instead of doing something bad only to end up in jail (DSHS, 1993). Some parents worry with crying which is not a power struggle. Stand firm to make sure they are paying attention. Give examples of limits, and stick to them since they look to the care takers for questionable behaviors (Brazelton, 2008). Children start asserting themselves at the age of 1 + years of age. People should never pick battles which are not way to look at it. The battles are only half won to choose different plans. If plan A doesnt work, there are many other letters in the alphabet. Tantrums are normal like they get overloaded with emotions to just lose control. They cant help it. The care taker should say,I love you, not the behavior, and tell them why certain behaviors are not accepted (Brazelton, 2008). If they get bored, let them eat what they want as the care taker approves, and offer options with their control as in the care takers control. Use praise and encourage them, respect them, give them the virtue of honesty, and parents should understand that they should not create confusion. If confusion is made, the kids have to work out the rules. For example, is fighting and hitting natural? Stay out of minor fights, but show how to resolve them. While doing this, teach the kids how to take turns. Never go to physical punishment, but take the anger out of the situation. Hold back and ask the inner care taker: what pushes the inner buttons? Some people say that spanking is unjust since they dont want them to hit others, but they do not want too light of a punishment either (Brazelton, 2008). A person that was interviewed, is a mother of one, said that punishment is alright as long as it does not go that far on the spectrum where it leads to abuse from an object like a belt. The parent also said that discipline like time outs and a slap on the hands does not work since those actions rarely teach the child not to do that action of bad behavior again. Those punishments rarely teach them, the children, to be well rounded (Friedlein, 2012). In some ways, the care taker is teaching the children that they have more power than the care takers do (Friedlein, 2012). Discipline is the better way to learn versus punishment. Punishment and discipline are compatible with one another as they are similar; however, these two words are indirect words. Many types of discipline are around since there are kids with various attitudes. Parents need to correct their children in distinctive and diverse ways. Children need a firm hand to put them on the right path that they need to take in life. In turn, life demands that people take some sort of direction. Borba, M., EdD. (2003).. (pp. 308-310). San Franciso, CA: Jossey-Bass. Bettelheim, Bruno. "Punishment versus discipline: a child can be expected to behave well only if his parents live by the values they teach." Nov. 1985: 51+. . Web. 8 Oct. 2012. Brazelton, T. B. (Performer) (2008). [DVD].Cline, F., MD, & Fay, J. (2006). . Colorado Springs, CO: Pinon Press. DSHS.(1993). . Retrieved from http://www.dshs.wa.gov/ca/fosterparents/training/discpun/dp01.htm Friedlein, C. (2012, November 13). Interviewed by Friedlein Katarina [Personal Interview]. Discipline vs. punishment.On scratch paper.Gengler, C. (2011). . Retrieved from http://www.extension.umn.edu/distribution/familydevelopment/00090.html Greydanus, D. E., &Bashe, P. (2003). .Bantom Books: American Academy of Pedriatrics.Muma, R. D., & Lyons, B. A. (2012).. (2 ed., pp. 180-181). Sudbury, MA: Jones &Barlett LLC. Liberty House Child Abuse Assessment Center.(n.d.).. Retrieved from http://www.libertyhousecenter.com/docs/SafeDiscipline.pdfPantley, E. (2001). . Retrieved from http://www.atozkidsstuff.com/article8.htmlPhelan, T. W., PhD. (2010). . (4 ed.). Glen Ellyn, IL: Parent Magic, Inc.Rathus, S. A. (2010-2011). . Belmont, California: Wadsworth. WebMD.(2005-2012). . 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