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Last week’s Super Bowl was devastating for Seattle Seahawks fans. To watch your team almost win the game and instead throw an interception, with no time left on the clock, was hard to accept. The 12th Man had to go through stages of grief: denial (no! no! no! That did not just happen!), anger (why didn’t they rush? why???), and finally acceptance (it is what it is…there is nothing we can do about it, so we need to figure out how to move on). Easier said than done, right?

We watched the game with my oldest son and were in disbelief as the fate of the Seahawks changed. He was upset (we all were). He outwardly showed it, and my husband and I inwardly reflected on how best to address the situation — had I been alone, my reaction may have more closely followed my son’s. When we had time to collect our thoughts, we worked to console our son–while we may have thought we were trying to console him, we were really trying to help him (and us) make sense of what just occurred. “Sometimes these things don’t happen like you hope they will. We have to remember both teams wanted to win as badly as the other. I’m sure there was a good reason they called that play.” While our words were rational, it was hard to find comfort in them. We all were hurting.

I’m guessing, like most 12s around the country, many of us didn’t sleep well on Sunday night. Getting up on Monday, only to be reminded of what happened the night before, was hard. I was concerned about how my son would do at school. I figured most of the students would struggle with what happened in the game, and I was right, but not for long.

As I mentioned in my previous post, the 12th Man is a strong community. One of my son’s teachers (part of the 12s) had the kids talk about the game and how they felt about it at the beginning of the school day. The class joined the rest of the school in a weekly assembly later that morning and talked about the game. My son shared what he learned during this gathering. “Mom, it’s really simple. They tried a play and it didn’t work. That happens sometimes,” he said. “It’s only a game. It’s not anything worth getting upset about. It’s not like it really matters.” Wow, sage advice, I thought. Teaching your child about life, is a big part of the parenting experience. My son was reminding me that while I like to think I’m his teacher, I’m also the student too. My son was teaching me now.

My son’s acceptance of what happened, helped me accept it too. Seeing Russell Wilson, Seattle’s QB, and Pete Carroll, Seattle’s Head Coach, talk about the play, why they did it, and how they were dealing with it helped too. It was another example of the 12s helping each other get through something.

Seattle should have won the football game, but may have won a bigger game in the long run–how to get through life, during good times and bad, together.

How have you handled unexpected disappointment? What support helped you get through it?

Today is Super Bowl Sunday. The New England Patriots will take on the Seattle Seahawks. While there has been a lot in the news about deflated footballs, Marshawn Lynch not being eager to talk to the press, Super Bowl ad teasers and the weather in the host city, the news I most look forward to is on Seattle’s 12th Man: where they are and what they’re up to. They are easy to spot–they have their Seahawk gear on, signs in their windows, decals on their cars or face paint on.

While the 12th Man consists of Seahawk fans, it represents so much more–community, support for a common cause, a connection with others you may not have anything else in common with. It’s incredible to see a team bring people together that cover all classes, backgrounds and neighborhoods. And while they may be easy to spot during the football season, they are just as easy to spot in the off months. The 12th Man is strong–we win and lose together. And it’s not just a Seattle-thing, it permeates throughout the country wherever Seahawks fans reside the 12th Man spirit lives.

I’m grateful my kids get to be part of the 12th Man experience: celebrate together, cry together, and do good together. It’s wonderful, as a parent, when you don’t have to try to explain how we should get along, but can show it in practice with the 12s.

I don’t know who will win the Super Bowl, but do know who the winners are–the 12th Man. Go Seahawks!