- Honey, what is the cat doing sitting on the roof with wires in his mouth?

- The aerial is broken, he’s replacing it. Isn’t the image great? Look at this reception! Even with the aerial it wasn’t this clear.

- Are you out of your mind? You can’t keep the cat up there!

- Oh, it’s alright, Jiji doesn’t mind. He’s getting paid in sardines.

- It’s dangerous up there! He could fall off, or he could be electrocuted!

- It’s alright, my love, I’m giving him a break after the news. And he’ll be right back before the game starts. We won’t miss a thing.

- I’m going up there and getting him down this very minute!

- You can’t do that, sweetheart.

- Why not?

- He signed a contract. He’s hired for the whole football season.

- What do you mean he signed a contract? He’s a cat!

- Don’t be so patronizing, cats are very intelligent. Here, take a look.

- Everett, just because Jiji walked over a piece of paper with his dirty paws doesn’t mean he’s bound by a legal contract.

- Well, Doctor Pennyshaw says so.

- Our lawyer? You got our lawyer to draft a contract? For this?

- It was the right thing to do. I wanna make sure Jiji gets all the benefits he’s entitled to. He’s got daily breaks and paid vacations, it’s all legal. I’m paying him 2 sardines a day, plus fresh water. We have excellent career plans and a training program. And if he ever gets that tabby from next door pregnant again, he gets a whole month of paternity leave! Isn’t that great for him?

- Well, I guess. One month is pretty good. Most companies only give you a week.

- I know, right? I don’t want to be a slave driver like those bastards I work for. I want to make sure I treat my employees with the respect they deserve. Jiji is a valued member of this household.

- When you put it that way…

- Would you be interested in a similar contract? We’re hiring a catering assistant for the living room.

- What’s the hourly rate?

- Oh, it’s very competitive. And you’d also have free meals during breaks.

- Do I also get paid vacations?

- Yes, but we’ll have to work out a vacation cover plan. This is a very crucial position, you see.

- Sounds good. When should I start?

- I need to run your application by Pennyshaw before we make this final, and I have just two more candidates coming in this afternoon. Then, we’ll make a decision.

- Oh, alright. I didn’t think…

- It’s a very desirable position. The benefits are really great, I hope you understand.

- But… I’m your wife.

- I know, sweetheart, but I can’t play favorites, you know? I need to be fair and make sure everyone gets a chance to show their abilities. I also owe it to the shareholders that I only hire the best people.

- Shareholders?

- Well, of course, don’t you think we need to be accountable? We have a great corporate responsibility program. We were lucky enough to hire a former Microsoft man. He’s great and we’re doing really well on the NYSE. We were up two points this morning. I can only thank the team. I couldn’t do it without them.

- Team?

- Well, you’ve met Jiji, he’s one of our newest hires. We also have Sandra, on the tech side. She’s a whizz kid from Stamford who’s looking into a plan that will make Jiji obsolete, just don’t tell him that. We’re sure by the time this happens, we’ll be able to realocate him. He’s too talented, we don’t want to lose him. And well, there’s too many to mention. They’re all like family to me.

- Are you talking about our kids?

- Oh, of course. Melvin is head of facilities. He keeps the snacks and refreshments front running smoothly. Great kid. You wouldn’t think a 12 year-old would have such business acumen. Thanks to him we cut an excellent deal with Pepsi.

- Oh, wow. I knew he was smart, but had no idea. What about Helene?

- Oh, she’s brilliant. She’s working in the facilities side. Couldn’t do anything without her. Do you see these large promotional panels beside the TV?

- Yeah, I always wondered about those…

- She was able to sell advertising space around the TV and that money is paying for the remodeling of the bathroom and the kitchen addendum. We’re expanding. All the money is invested here and we only use local products and companies. We like to make a difference.

- And where would I be working?

- In the new kitchen annex. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, ok? I don’t want to give you false hopes.

- Oh, alright…

- But you know what I can do for you? How about a trial period? Since you’re in-house and we, of course, would want to keep our talent here.

- Is it a paid trial?

- No, but we offer an allowance for transportation and food.

- So I won’t get the free food during the trial period?

- No, that’s just for permanent employees. Like Jiji, out there. The little guy is doing one hell of a job. Look at this image!