Nothing in particular other than I'm in a bad way, really need some help, very distressed a lot of the time, on the verge of overdosing (but not wanting to) and there is no one I can turn to, no one who can or would help me, no one that would reach out to me. I've tried too much to reach out and be rebuffed.

I tried to tell the nurse at the surgery last week and she just said 'well, come back iff you feel worse' but she doesn't get that what's worse than this is the dissociation and then the overdose anyway. I told her, she knows, but people think I can control it, but when it gets worse, I can't. I dont have the power of conscious thought.

I'm very scared of myself. I'm very alone. I'm totally desperate for someone to hear and to help.

I don't have anything to say anymore though. I just need someone to help me when I'm distressed and someone who can help me stay safe. I'm very, very appreciative of your offer though So thank you so much.

Can you try going to a different surgery to find support? You should tell them clearly that you cannot cope at the best of times, even if you can. It might push them to help you more.
I hope you start to feel better soon, and you can always PM me if you need to rant or anything like that.

Thanks guys Very much so. there is no option for a different surgery and they feed the same CMHT anyway (who won't touch me with a barge pole).

Having a bad day today. All the stuff I normally do to stay grounded isn't working. Thinking maybe of going to the docs and just walking in and saying but the last two times I have been in crisis and the crisis team have been involved, they have been so rude they actually triggered the dissociations I was trying to fight and I ended up ODing. Which defeats the whole point. Can't work out if I'm better alone.

Maybe I need to go with it yet try to keep some control, and go to the massive bridge nearby and climb it because sound brings me back and there is a lot of noise up there, I've never gotten very far over it before being brought back to myself and be able to leave.