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Where to begin......

Hi

I am not sure if this is in the right section so please feel free to move.

For those of you who don't me I started my journey down IVF back in September 2010 after trying to conceive since 2007. Initially we were told that were were 'unexplained' but after a few tests at Bourn I was told that I have a low AMH.

Anyway 1 IUI and 2 fresh IVF & 1 fresh ICSI journey all I have managed to achieve is early miscarriages. I think it is clear that my body just can not hold a pregnancy. We have now run out of IVF NHS funding we do have 2 frostie's and we still qualify for FET should we want to go down that route. Which I think in time we might consider it however things are so raw that I can't think about putting myself through that.

DH & I have hardly slept in the past 24 hours and have done nothing but talk and feel that our only options to become the parents we so long to be is to adopt. However I have no clue on where to begin. I do not want to go to my local council as I have heard some really bad experiences going through them so wondered where I should look next?

I'm so sorry to hear how much you're both hurting. I've been down a similar route to you but myself and my DH are so much happier since we decided to adopt. There are a few ladies in the adoption section that are much more experienced than me on the subject but thought I'd let you know what we did only a few months ago to get started.....

The first thing worth mentioning is that you may find any agency that you approach will tell you that there needs to have been at least a 6 month gap since finishing your last tx. I contacted about 6 different agencies in all and their requirements varies between 6months to a year. I know right now you'll be anxious to start out straight away but this gap is considered to be a time where you come to terms with the fact that you won't be having a biological child etc.

Our first step was to contact our local authority. I know you said you'd heard of some bad experiences through yours but our LA couldn't even help us anyway for security reasons so we then broadened our search and spoke to a few surrounding us. All I did was google to find other LA's adoption contact and gave them a call. All of them sent out info packs. I also called a voluntary (private) agency. The next step for us was to go along to an information evening so we decided to go to both an LA and a VA one so we could compare. Both were very different and offered different types of children so we had to think long and hard with who we would prefer to go with as you're only able to apply to one agency. As mush as we liked the VA we went back to the LA for a preliminary interview and then had to wait for a phone call to see if they'd offer us a place which they have! Our preparation course starts 4 weeks today and we can't wait. We've been filling the time meanwhile by reading and babysitting fo friends loads!

Hope this helps but as I say hopefully Demi or Marlene will stop by with more / better info!

Wishing you loads of luck hun and I'm always in the adoption section if you need me x x

Hello.
Firstly i want to say how sorry i am. my Dh and i have been where you are but we wad fortunate enough to have a baby and then we left adoption on the back boiler but with the intention of looking into it in the future.
We had a meeting at st Frances adoption agency. they where excellent and very informative.

Any adopters out there? Advice needed??

Hi ladies
I know this is a very old post & many of you will already know what has happened since my last post!

Anyway DH & I are preparing for adoption 2013!

However I am so confused by things I have been reading! I decided to join the adoption UK website and posted on there & to bes honest although the posts were lovely most of them said we can not even think about adoption until 1 year after our final cycle? Is this true???? When I went to a VA agency back in August they said 6 months and although neither of us were on keen on that agency it has now worried me that we are going to have so long until we can even start this journey????

All I know is that we are ready to adopt! We want nothing more than provide a child with a stable & loving home!!! Why is everything so hard????

i had went to a few adoption meetings and it was 6 months for us, i have friends who have just adopted and the whole process took about 15 months so surely if there saying a year by the time you get through everything it would be over the year. Do you have to tell them about your treatment? I'm not suggesting you lie but do you have to volenteer the information?

The time lapse between finishing IVF and starting the adoption process varies from agency to agency. We'd finished our IVF last August and started inquiring in January and some agencies were happy with the time and others wanted to wait a bit longer. I know how frustrating it feels as you just want to move on but they're very keen on ensuring you have properly 'grieved' etc. I'd suggest you start ringing around different agencies now, a mixture of Local authorities and Voluntary agencies. The IVF isn't really something you're going to be able to hide as it'll form quite a big part of one of your homestudy sessions. They only run info evenings every so often so by the time these come round and then by the time you've picked who you'd like to go with etc time will have moved on quite a bit as I'm afraid it's not a very quick process! That said once you are allocated a social worker and get started on your homestudy time seems to fly by which we have found! Feel free to ask any more questions or PM me any time and I'll be happy to try and help

Hi Wardie ... We have had four failed ivf attempts over last two years. Last one in August ...we are now considering moving on. We showed an interest to our local LA and so far very impressed with the process. We have recieved initial questionaire and last night attended the first meeting . We listened to the process and heard other experiences of adoption . We had a lovely supper with them. They did explain the importance of waiting 6 months since last treatment which will be February but at the moment we agreed to proceed and are awaiting allocation to a social worker to proceed . We did note that everything does take time so we expect by the time we are contacted then six months will have passed . Also I am not trually sure this is the route I want to take and spoke with DH last night and taking everything open minded at the moment . Funding is the main issue ...we have always done private if in Spain but the purse is empty . To be honest which I have said to DH if our funds were better then I would do if again. Xxxx

Hi! Julie here. Hope so you are doing good.
After reading your situation I become very upset. I really felt sorry after reading this. But you don’t need to worry about it. It is the part of life. And you are a strong girl. You can fight with the failures you have faced till you succeed. I think you should try for surrogacy. It’s a great option to conceive. It has 95% success rate with much low risk. It is a bit expensive than other treatments. But it is safer. You would not have to worry about the miscarriage. Because a surrogate mother will carry your baby in her womb. The doctors will use the gametes of intended parents. Only the growth occurs in a third mother. It may good for to make your wishes be fulfilled. That’s my opinion to you. You should also consult with your gynecologist about this treatment.
All my sympathies are with you.
Good luck