Where Miss Snark vented her wrath on the hapless world of writers and crushed them to sand beneath her T.Rexual heels of stiletto snark. The blog is dark--no further updates after 5/20/2007.

12.16.2006

HH Com 62

Al Morales used to be the meanest son-of-a-bitch in his gang; a soldier who did whatever it took—no matter how bloody or cruel—to achieve the objective. But those days are long gone. Now he has a normal life, with a Wall Street job, a penthouse apartment, and the old Al—the monster—locked away deep inside.

But when Sterling Delano—Al’s boss and mentor and surrogate father—drives down GM’s stock price with a virus planted in the New York Stock Exchange computer then frames Al for the raid, Al’s new world is shattered. Civilized Al can’t defend himself against Sterling. To do that, he must face his greatest fear.

Unleashing the monster could cost him his career, his freedom, and his sanity.

Keeping it caged could cost him his life.

It’s a character-driven thriller (about 115,000 words) combining the corporate intrigue of The Firm with the action of First Blood.

Thanks for your time and consideration.

The Incredible Hulk on Wall Street.yawn.

when you tell me that the stakes in the novel are the life of the hero, I better care whether he lives or dies. My first choice is always that he dies...and preferably clutching a small bunny in his arms and screaming "I'm sorry I dissed the poodle".

Hilarity aside, you've told me this is a character driven thriller (an oxymoron of course) and then given me stock footage characters.

The character is dull. Not enough that he'll lose his freedom and his penthouse apartment. need to humanize the main character more. Give us a reson to care. Don't assume we'll root for the innocent guy unless you give us a reason to like him.