Trump Is Just Singin’ In The Rain

Getting what you wish for isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be. Since Trump vanquished the last of his Republican rivals in Indiana, America has had a week to behold The Donald in all his presumptive nominee glory.

It hasn’t been a pretty sight. In an interview with George Stephanopolous, Trump doubled down on the tabloid story of Rafael Cruz linked to the JFK assassination. George must have felt like Mike Myers from a scene in, So I Married An Axe Murderer, when Myers chastised his gullible mother.

“Hey Mom, I find it interesting that you refer to the Weekly World News as, ‘The Paper’. The paper contains facts.” The mom counters, “This paper contains facts. And it has the eighth highest circulation in the whole world!”

Similarly, Trump countered with the trustworthiness of the National Enquirer. It was a ‘news story’ and ‘there was a picture’. Just as there have been ‘pictures’ of a resurrected Elvis and Michael Jackson.

Trump then plods through the week with a series of reversals regarding his tax plan, the minimum wage, and his pledge to self fund his campaign. Trump zealots got in Ted Cruz’s face with signs decrying Goldman Sachs, the evil incarnate cabal with whom Heidi Cruz was once employed. Yet now, Trump hires a Goldman Sachs partner with deep Democratic connections as his Finance Chair. No word as to what the zealots make of that.

Then there was the cringe inducing Cinco de Mayo Twitter pic of Trump eating a taco bowl to appeal to ‘the Hispanics’. The bikini clad pic of his ex-wife on the table just added to the weirdness of it all.

Trump is the last man standing in the primary so he got what he wished for. The problem is that the spotlight on him is not flattering. As radio host, Steve Deace accurately assessed, “Trump has no straw men to demagogue. There’s nobody for him to play off of. There’s no, “Rand Paul shouldn’t be here today, he’s at one percent!” No Lyin’ Ted, Low Energy Jeb, Little Marco. There’s no foil. The bully has no one to bully.”

Trump is left standing on the stage alone and it isn’t going well, though he seems oblivious. He probably believes he has the audience in the palm of his hand. Little does he realize he has become Lina Lamont.

In Singin’ In The Rain, Lina Lamont was the pampered, insufferable Hollywood star of silent films. When ‘talkies’ and musicals came along, the movie studios scrambled to hide the fact that Lina had a horribly annoying voice. The situation is similar to prominent ‘news’ media scrambling to hide the fact that Trump has a horribly shallow political philosophy.

Lina is a bully who uses her clout to say, “You’re fired!” to a chorus girl, Cathy, whom she views as a rival. When Cathy is brought back in as Lina’s voice to save a failing musical, Lina threatens to sue if Cathy is given proper screen credit. Very Trumpian, that Lina.

Lina’s co-star, Don (played by Gene Kelly) is in love with Cathy and has had enough of Lina’s ego. When Lina demands a ‘vocal eminent domain’ whereby Cathy is forced to give up her own singing career to lend her voice to the greater box office star, Don has had enough.

In a memorable scene, Lina saunters onstage after a movie premier to address the audience. She finally gets her wish, to speak in her own voice to her adoring fans. They immediately wince at her grating speaking voice and implore her to sing. Cathy is quickly dispatched behind the curtain with a microphone. Lina lip syncs to Singin’ In The Rain, complete with winks and expressive arm gestures.

Suddenly, Don and his studio cohorts start pulling the ropes backstage and the curtain parts to reveal it is actually Cathy singing for Lina. The audience bursts into uproarious laughter and humiliated, Lina runs off the stage.

I don’t expect Trump to run off the stage. His ego is too far gone. No matter how dramatically he is exposed as a fraud, he will stand there and gaslight everyone that what they are seeing isn’t really what they are seeing.

I didn’t really mispronounce Tanzania. I didn’t really claim that SupremeCourt justices ‘sign bills’. I didn’t really just propose that America defaulton it’s loans to reduce the national debt (like I declared bankruptcy with mycasinos). What ya think I am? Dumb or somethin?

The curtain is peeled back and there is nowhere to run. The audience sees and while some are laughing, some are crying. Many of us are simply shaking our heads and wondering how it all came down to this.