An Open Letter To Mother Nature

We’ve not met before and I can’t say I’ve ever taken an opportunity to write to you before now. I hate to be one to complain, well, at least to you anyways, but this yo-yo weather cycle we are on has been a nightmare.

I know, I know, it could be far worse. In your wisdom you’ve chosen, at least so far, to spare us from searing heat and torrential downpours and funnel clouds. But if we could just pick a temperature range and stick with it, I’d really appreciate it.

Now, I understand that managing employees is not always easy. But, I think Jack Frost has probably logged in some serious overtime at this point, wouldn’t you agree? I am not saying he’s not an important employee. In fact, I am quite sure in the months of December, January and February he’s won Employee of the Month on more than one occasion. While I appreciate he likely isn’t ready for a pink slip with Mrs. Frost and the Frost children at home, I think it would be poor employee relations to keep spring waiting too much longer.

I mean, it’s like day shift people hanging around on the night shift. Both are valid, wonderful, productive employees but they have different jobs to do and you wouldn’t want one getting in the other’s way would you?

I’m not telling you how to do your job, but the calendar says spring started last month and today, I am pretty sure I was still shivering in a turtleneck and sweater. Now, maybe you and the calendar need to sit down and have a discussion on this — I’ll leave that between you two. But, if you are going to stay on schedule, I think it is time to send ‘ol Jackie boy home for a little vacay and let spring settle into the office again.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder Ms. Nature — may I call you Ms. Nature? Frankly at this point my heart is skipping a beat at the thoughts of 70+ degree weather to begin gardening in and wear my sandals in. I’m a Kentucky girl — the shoe thing isn’t really our bag.

Now, I am willing to strike a bargain here. I won’t send you another letter mid-July when I feel like a pig roasting on a spit if I could just get to the point I can shut the heater off and open a few windows. Do you think you can work with me on that? I am sure you’d make a lot of people happy. We’ve got farmers down here that need to get working so if we could get some more sunshine to warm up the ground and a little bit of rain for the beans and corn, I’d certainly appreciate it.

Thank you for listening to me Ms. Nature. (Would you prefer to be called Mom, Mommy, Mother…?)