Friday, August 27, 2010

Dr. Grumpy: "Okay, we're done with the EMG. I'm going across the hall to my office. Why don't you toss the paper gown in the trash, put your shirt back on, and meet me over there to discuss the results."

Mrs. Hedinbutt: "It's not a shirt. It's a blouse."

Dr. Grumpy: "Okay. Anyway, after you have it on, come over and..."

Mrs. Hedinbutt: "Don't you even know the difference?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Well a..."

Mrs. Hedinbutt: "For crying out loud! You're a doctor and you can't even tell a blouse from a shirt! How did you get through medical school!"

(long pause)

Dr. Grumpy: "Look. Do you want to go over the EMG results or not?"

Mrs. Hedinbutt: "I don't have time for this. Just send them to Dr. Imed and I'll discuss it with him." (puts on blouse/shirt/vest/tunic/upper body garment/whatever and leaves).

The patient was wrong to address the issue. Even if one knows how to tell the difference between a blouse and a shirt, it's not possible to tell when it's just a folded lump of fabric on a chair/shelf.

Historically, a shirtwaist had buttons at the waist, but a blouse had a drawstring at the waist.

That distinction has been lost, but some others remain. A dress-shirt has buttons on the right and is for men; it also has tails. A blouse has buttons on the left and is for women; a blouse never has tails. Men's casual shirts (straight across the bottom edge) are technically blouses, but we tend to call them shirts. A woman's top is a blouse if it's dressier, but is a shirt if it's more casual or tight-fitting.

I sooo hope you include her irrational response and refusal to go over results when you write to her referring doc.

This reminds me of an incident that happened when I took my daughter to a peds appointment many years ago. She was about 3 or 4 at the time. The nurse had just finished measuring height and weight and told my daughter she could put her shoes back on. My daughter then said "Actually, they are sandals." The nurse shot me a look as if she wanted to say 'I have taken too much crap from preschoolers and their insufferable parents today.' Fortunately, my daughter did not question how she'd made it through nursing school.

You obviously did the EMG on the wrong part of her body. The electrodes should have been connected to her ears to see if there was any excessive delay in neural activity between the 2 ears.Or...actually, you don't need an EMG to prove that, do you?

Go take the gown off (it belongs to my medical practice, and the price of your visit did not include it). Come back after putting on whatever you want, though for the sake of professional propriety, I'd prefer you were wearing appropriate attire. If you choose to wear nothing, please, tell Mary to come in here, so I will not be accused of hanky-panky, and we'll discuss the results if you like.

I hope Mrs. Grumpy got a good laugh out of this one! I imagine if you'd said "blouse" your patient would have wanted you to say "SILK blouse" or something like that. I don't know how much pain she has but she is a carrier for sure!

HAHAHA! Anonymous said 'bless her heart.'! I have to tell you, every time I hear that I have to laugh. I moved from NY to the south 13 years ago, and people down here always say 'bless her heart' or 'bless his heart'. A friend down here told me that when southerners say that, they are really saying 'Wow, what an idiot.'. I cannot hear that phrase without laughing.

@C I'm glad my six year old isn't the only one. Put on your shirt. Shirt, here is the shit. Put it on. It's red, you like red, put it on. I'm going to count to five... one... two... shirt, wear the shirt, three...Put. On. The. Shirt. four... Hello? Put on the shirt!!! We're late! Why will you not put on the shirt!??!

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This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate.

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