After his recent awayday indignities on public transport, Arsene Wenger has put in place an emergency plan to post himself back to London if the Gunners get turned over at Liverpool today.

Any repeat of the early-doors shambles at Stoke and watch out for a plain brown 6ft 3in envelope tiptoeing down the Anfield Road at about ten to six.

You can't rule it out. Liverpool aren't much to write home about, but recent injuries have left Arsenal without lead in their midfield pencil.

Happily for Wenger, Liverpool have few stamps of quality at the back - and Sanchez is a fair punt at the standout 15/8 'anytime scorer' (Lads) to demonstrate he's first class.

Brendan Rodgers wanted to put his money on the Chilean and ended up taking a punt on Mario Balotelli.Whatever disgruntled Arsenal fans might say about Wenger's waning vision, it could be worse.

The Tyne-Wear lunchtime derby is all about Newcastle trying to put a brave face on their crippling goalkeeper crisis - and we're deep in the land of guesswork as to how far that might distort the form book.

Frankly, you could have the bib man's cat between the Toon sticks and I still couldn't punt Sunderland here with a smile at the general 3/1.

They might well nick a tight one, but for that there's 6/1 about an away 'win to nil'.

If it's a shootout, there's only one team favourite to be copping it in the foot.

I'll trust Sunderland boss Gus Poyet to know which side his pig's ear is buttered, and stick with Plan A.

Eight deadlocks in Sunderland's last 14 games, including five 0-0s, says punt the draw at 5/2.

The 9/1 'no goalscorer' is just about pick of the longshots on that reasoning - but it's a trappy game so I'll keep stakes tinier than an elf's earhole.