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That's what dreams are made of: Roy Oswalt and the Dodgers

Umm. Let’s see, what team do we know that could use an established major-league pitcher? A three-time All-Star? A two-time 20-game winner?

Doesn’t that just sound too logical for the Dodgers? Maybe I should italicize too logical.

As in, despite his request and the Dodgers’ need, there’s about as much chance of Oswalt being traded here as Lindsay Lohan winning an award as Citizen of the Year.

Oswalt is costly, and the Dodgers haven’t shown any interest in spending serious cash in a long time. And with the owners undergoing a contemptuous divorce, there is no reason to think that will change soon.

Oswalt is in the fourth year of a five-year, $73-million contract. He’s earning $15 million this season, will make $16 million next season, and the club has a $16-million option for 2012 or a $2-million buyout.

Think a giddy Frank McCourt told General Manager Ned Colletti to get busy when the Oswalt news broke?

This season, despite a 2-6 record with the lowly Astros, Oswalt has a 2.66 earned-run average and has struck out 60 and walked only 16 in 61 innings pitched.

Still, he has a lot of dinero coming for someone who turned 33 on Monday. And picking up that tab goes against recent Dodgers’ history even before the divorce proceedings began. The Dodgers only major acquisitions the last two years have been when the team of origin picked up the bulk of the player’s remaining salary.

Oswalt has a no-trade clause, he is obviously willing to waive to go to a contending team. The three teams he is reportedly most interested in -- Mets, Cardinals and Rangers -- all look like poor fits.

The Dodgers, of course, are a contending team. Unlikely or not, it at least has to be worth a phone call.