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Top 5 People I Don’t Want on Social Media

There are certain people the rest of us don’t really need to see on social media. Or be followed by. I’m tired of getting their friend requests, follows, direct messages, and otherwise unsolicited content.

Multi-level Marketers

Thanks for finding me on Facebook and sending a DM with the “great news” about a way I can live “the life of my dreams” by working from home. But I’m not really interested. You’re like a missionary telling me how to get into heaven but you haven’t actually been there.

Pornstars

Sending me a spam @ message on Twitter with a bit.ly link to your hardcore slutfest filmed in Van Nuys isn’t going to entice me to subscribe to your website or make me your #1 fan. I’ll report you to Twitter and get your account suspended.

Dating Sites

I’m sure you’ve created the next match.com and I might find my dream date on your site. But I’m not looking for hot, single cougars in the tri-county area who are just begging to have sex with me (any every other man on your site) tonight. And no, I won’t join today for ONLY $1!

Video “Producers”

Congratulations on learning how to use YouTube! You searched for a topic, found my channel, and added a useless comment to one of my videos telling me how much its just like this video you made a couple weeks ago. Good for you Mr. Spam. Now please go back to filming your cat and pining away until the moment you’re genius is discovered.

Bot Users

For the love of all things holy, stop using lame auto-content generators like “Pic of the Day” or “I answered a question about you”. There are over one trillion photos on the internet. I doubt a piece of spam software found the absolute best one. Every day. And you just had to share it with me.

So please, step away from the keyboard and stop cluttering my feed. I’d like my social media to be more about networking and learning…less about spamming. You’re blocking the MLM pornstars from sending me their dating site profiles with videos of them and their hot cat who can’t wait to answer questions about me!