Jeff Neumann

If you're a parent in New York and your kid is playing wiffle ball, tag or Red Rover this summer well, you're a horrible person. The New York Department of Health has drafted a list of "risky recreational activities" that could potentially kill or maim your kid this summer, and the previously mentioned games fit that bill. The list is an attempt to clamp down on deadly summer camps:

Under the new rules, any program that offers two or more organized recreational activities - with at least one of them on the risky list - is deemed a summer camp and subject to state regulation.

Ritchie said the regulations could cripple small recreational programs, forcing them to pay a $200 fee to register as a summer camp and provide medical staff.

So if you run a summer camp and don't feel that you can afford to hire a sorts medicine team, you might as well say fuck it and invest in some couches, Xbox's and Cheetos.