Blixer:
Hello Cologuy! It sounds like things have been a big rough for you. The first few weeks can be that way. I was diagnosed in January of this year and handled the first two weeks great. Then I about fell apart. So I can understand your feeling. It sounds like the insurance deal was a mess too. Just a few words of advice! It will get better. Just don't give up and don't feel like you have to blame yourself for anything. It sounds like you have some great friends and I've found that sometimes the friends are more devastated than you are... at least at first. In terms of the doctor, just make sure you find one your are comfortable with. I got my news from my general practitioner and I picked a specialist I had heard was great. I got in within 2 weeks. But that turned out to be a disaster. It finally took me 3 months to find one that I was really comfortable with. And she will actually be both my HIV specialist and my general practitioner. So just take it a day at a time. Get the results of your lab work. And then go from there. Life with HIV may not be a picnic, but there are lots of good things and you will find lots of support here on the boards. It was interesting that you mentioned your contact from your state health department. I never recevied any contact from my state health department. I kept being told to expect it... that it would come... that sometimes it just takes a while... well, Saturday it will be 10 months since my diagnosis and I'm still waiting for that follow up. I did take the initiative and contacted anyone I had been with in the past six months.

Finally, just remember that you are important. This is a scary thing. But you can get through it and you can find a lot of support here.

Take care!

Tucsonwoody:
Welcome Cologuy -

First - go look in the mirror - it is not your fault! And sorry to hear you had such a terrible time on top of learning your status.

Second - Blixer is right of course, there are alot of people here who can help in many ways, so hang in there and take advantage of the years of knowledge they have. I only got diagnosed a couple of months ago and have only been on this site a short time so I am still in the learning stage myself.

I lucked out and when I switched from the doctor who misdiagnosed my HIV symtoms to a specialist - she also became my primary care doc and I am so lucky to have her and the support team their office offers - lab - pharmacy - therapist all in one place. Hope you can find a similar situation so you can avoid future screw ups and concentrate on taking care of yourself and your friends.

Good luck and take advantage of what the veterans here can offer - ask questions - chat with them I think it will make a difference for you.

Kevin

rayvjr:
Your life has changed. However, the feelings you are experiencing will subside with time. Until then, know that there are people here going through the same experience, take some time to talk with them.

tigger2376:
Any question I can answer or anytime you need to chat you welcome. thats a promise every time I'm online if you need/want to. I've not been active on this site for a while because of (other family) illness, but If I'm not being 2 overwhelming or intrusive, feel free and just hopefully know you are cared about