Search confessions

my life isn't bad.
actually it's quite good.
but it's just 'bits and pieces'.
the unimportant extras that don't fit into the important categories.
I know what the important stuff is too but it just didn't work out.

With all that's going on in and around the world I can see all of human civilization on it's way to collapse much like the Mayan civilization did when they abandoned all their cities and scattered from each other. A new era is about to dawn and it's birthing process is going to be horribly painful and bitterly troublesome. Hopefully those that survive to rebuild the new world will be smarter and of a more harmonious, moral, and caring nature to one another after seeing what we as a species have brought on to ourselves. We allowed corruption to take root in the highest levels of our societies as if we were nothing more than deer that were frozen stupid in oncoming headlights.

As someone who worked in restaurants (7+ years), I think we need to get rid of tipping altogether. I'm happy to pay more for something than to have the weight of someone's livelihood placed on my shoulders. Servers/baristas/bartenders tend to get mad at customers for not tipping but they never point to their employer for not paying them a livable wage.
Tipping culture is also very discriminatory. I worked in a popular restaurant in Gastown and I remember many times when my colleagues would make offhand remarks towards certain ethnicities for not tipping. Many customers would not get the same kind of attention as a group of white people dining.
There was also a time when a man placed 20$ (in 5 dollar bills) on the table and told me that he will take away a note each time I didn't meet his standard of service. I just smiled and bit my tongue....because the customer is always right and almighty. Cringe.
Also, not to mention the unfortunate kitchen staff who work their asses off. Long hours, very little money, and little/no tips. The "finer" the establishment is, the more screwed the kitchen staff is. The cooks are there to get "experience" and are barely paid.

At various times in my life I’ve been criticized as being arrogant and judgemental, both critiques I forcefully rejected. After spending a lot of time reflecting on past situations, both work-related or personal, I’ve come to realize that those criticisms were accurate.
I’m not going to lie to myself and say that I’m never going to be that way again, because I’m realistic enough to realize that it’s not that easy to change thought processes and habits ingrained over a long lifetime. I am however, going to try my very best in the future to be much more aware of what I’m thinking before I speak, and to question why I feel the way I do.

Whenever i speak to people i am forced to use metaphors and analogies in order to be understood. Having to say things multiple ways leaves me with little desire to communicate . I have only met one person(other than myself) who seems to speak and understand the words coming out of my mouth ...i just don't get it!

I realized that if I want to move out of the city and live in a little house on my own bit of wilderness, I need to start planning now. I dream of a quiet life far away from people with a few rescued kitty poof-poofs to keep me company.