The 74 year-old president's weight problem is ironically due to the magnificent success the country has had in replenishing its
crops and jump-starting the economy. City markets are safe and brimming with delicious foods at very cheap prices, and Mr. Talabani
just can't resist a good deal or a tasty donut. But he acknowledges the problem, and plans on traveling to the United States for
treatment, where food is far less abundant than in his country. "With the help of Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig, I will overcome myobesity and return to Iraq a far fitter man," he announced before boarding a flight to America.

Meanwhile, although the White House is eager to help Mr. Talabani lose weight, Bush is refusing to set timetables or benchmarks
on his progress. Congress recently passed a bill funding the Iraqi President's first six months of treatment, but withholding more
money if certain progress isn't made. Senate majority leader Harry Reid explained, "Mr. Talabani must lose at least 10% of hisweight within 3 months, and a further 15% by year's end." But Mr. Bush strongly rejected these provisions and vetoed the bill,
saying, "we must not discourage Mr. Talabani by threatening him with such consequences. His metabolism must be allowed to work at itsown pace.". The White House also accused Democratic congressional critics of emboldening Mr Talabani's body fats. A new bill, without the benchmarks, is currently being negotiated in the House.

Critics accuse the Bush administration of continuing to claim that Mr. Talabani is making progress, despite the fact that he
has actually gained weight in the past few months. Instead of looking at the big picture, officials try to skirt the issue
by focusing on individual weeks. At a recent new conference, press secretary Tony Snow said, "We acknowledge there is a problem,
which is why we're supporting a new, aggressive tactic to help the Iraqi lose weight, but to say that no progress has been madeis unfair. Some of the weight gain over the winter can be attributed to a metabolic slowdown during the cold weather, but weare confident it will abate during the summer."

Mr. Talabani's weight problem has even come up in the recent American presidential debates. The Democrats accused Bush of
neglecting both the US and Iraqi health care systems by allowing the Iraqi President to become medically obese. Muscular candidate
Barack Obama vowed that "Under my watch, all citizens will be forced to exercise daily." Republican candidates, meanwhile, have
accused the Democrats of hypocrisy, with Senator John McCain pointing out that "your far-left lunatic Michael Moore is really fat,
so what do you have to say about that, eh?" Even outgoing British Prime Minister Tony Blair weighted in on the problem, vowing that
"the United Kingdom will stand side by side with the Iraqi people, regardless of how morbidly obese they get." John Prescott has refused to comment, obviously.