Tao of Success

Skills for the next killer move!

September 11, 2006

Personal management - Positive thinking

A positive anything is better than a negative nothing

There are so many people waiting for the 'right time' to start something, whether that's a business, a new goal or even a diet. Some people don't start anything because they want a guarantee that whatever they do start will result in the outcome they have envisioned.

Well, the fact is, there are no guarantees. So JUST START! Even the smallest positive result is better than no result at all. It would be wonderful in this world of technology, if we could get an email informing us that today is the right day for us to succeed - but that isn't going to happen. The day you start will be the day you are on the road to succeeding.

It is all too easy to be negative. We are constantly surrounded by it.

If we were to focus only on the reasons why we should attempt anything then none of us would achieve. So focus on the positives and watch your world and outcomes change in front of you.

August 29, 2006

Liesure - Marketing concepts

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich. Marry him." - That's Advertising

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me." - That's Telemarketing

4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say: "By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?" - That's Public Relations

5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says: "You are very rich! Can you marry ! me?" - That's Brand Recognition

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: I "I a m very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - That's Customer Feedback

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. - That's demand and supply gap

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she goes with him - That's competition eating into your market share

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. - That's restriction for entering new markets

August 26, 2006

Liesure - Pink Floyds and Guns and Roses lyrics

There is no pain, you are receding.A distant ships smoke on the horizon.You are only coming through in waves.Your lips move but I cant hear what youre sayin.When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse,Out of the corner of my eye.I turned to look but it was gone.I cannot put my finger on it now.The child is grown, the dream is gone.I have become comfortably numb

Guns and Roses

Now the damage is doneAnd we're back out on the runFunny how everything was rosesWhen we held on to the gunsJust because you're winnin'Don't mean you're the lucky ones

August 24, 2006

Communication - Writing for Business

Writing for Business

Organize

First, organize your material. When writing an email announcing a staff meeting, this may be as simple as collecting your thoughts. On the other hand, you may need to write out a multi-level outline of the material when writing up the results of a survey. Omissions or incorrect focus can make your business writing less clear.

Audience

Before you start to write, think about your intended audience. Also remember that you will be more effective writing to your audience if you focus on what you want them to hear rather than on what you are going to say.

Start Writing

Good writers have different styles of writing. Some prefer to write everything out and then go back and edit. Others prefer to edit as they go along. Sometimes their style varies depending on the piece they are writing.

Edit and Proofread

Proofreading is re-reading what you wrote to make sure all the words in your head made it correctly onto the paper or the screen.You edit to fix or change what you wrote in order to make the material better. When writing for business, this means fixing the errors and making the text clear and concise.

Manage This Issue

You are writing for business, not writing the "great American novel". Your writing should be as descriptive as necessary, but it does not need to paint vivid word pictures using lots of big words and figures of speech.

Networking tip - Elevator speech #3 (final)

How??

Here are some basic tips on preparation of elevator speeches. Once again, these recommendations won't look a lot different than our advice on scheduled presentations, but simply emphasize the key aspects of a very specific type of impromptu opportunity. To be your best (a master presenter) you need to put some extra effort in upfront in doing your homework (see below).

Preparation Tips for the “Elevator Speech”

1. DEFINE Your Presentation Universe for the Elevator Speech! Tie down the following five design and context factors before you begin writing your speech. Good definitions here will limit the range of situations you need to be ready for.

Your Audience Universe: This is the “who” part. Do you need to be ready for potential clients or customers, senior management in your own organization or, for job shoppers, a contact in another organization? Your Content or Subject Matter: With the “who” defined above, you now need to fill in the “what”, the range of topics that you plan to be prepared for each audience.

Your Objective(s): These get to the point of the chance encounter and define what you want to accomplish. An objective could be as simple as establishing name recognition in a positive way, or as difficult as getting a “yes” on a request for a future interview or sales call. Your Desired Image Or Style: Think about short descriptive words that you want left as impressions (e.g. smart, aggressive, deliberate, cool, humorous, etc.), and then build a larger picture of the style and image cues you can use to portray these characteristics with your target audiences. Your Key Message: These are the key points that you want to make with your target audience(s) and form the foundation for the words you'll use. Often you'll want your key message to involve a hook of some kind, so people are intrigued and want more.

2. Develop Your 3 -D Outline TM . Collect and organize your thoughts about topics, objectives and key messages on paper. Keep in mind that you typically will have less than a minute to deliver your key points. Ruthlessly edit to get your content down to a size that can be delivered without even a hint of being rushed. Don't forget to work carefully with the Why column of the 3-D to assure that each piece of your material connects to an objective you've identified and with the How column to assure that your planned methods contribute to the image and style you want to portray…Interactive is best – don't get too long winded.

3. Write Your Script. Literally write down the three to six sentences you want to use. Again, edit so that each word carries value and each phrase rolls easily off the tongue. Here's a simple example:"Hi, I'm Tony Jeary, I write books and help people present better.” Then I pause and a new contact will ask “about what?” I then say something like “On presentations strategy; most of my books are about presentation effectiveness”. Then I lead in tactfully with “In fact, I have a new book coming out in January, published by Simon & Schuster, called Life is a Series of Presentations. Beyond a snappy book title, I truly believe that Life really is a Series of Presentations and that both individuals and companies can achieve dramatically better results through improved presentation skills.” I then let them respond and then move on with something like (while I'm pulling out my card) “I personally coach some of the brightest CEOs from the biggest companies in the world, and I often speak on my books at special events.” Then I hand over my card, ask for theirs. Then I mention that we have a cool website and look for a way I can email them something of value free – I'm always looking for ways to give value up front.

4. Rehearse, Rehearse and Rehearse. Practice in front of a mirror, with your associates, your spouse, with anyone who will listen and give you feedback. This type of presentation must not have any hints that it is “canned” or “memorized” and must be paced to come off as smooth, natural and unrushed. Let me emphasize that it's important to be real – definitely be ready, but be real.

5. Deliver with confidence. When the opportunity emerges, deliver it with vigor and confidence

Benefits

A good elevator speech is a mainstay for almost everyone. We all like to be liked, and at a minimum, a good elevator routine helps us leave favorable impressions. On the upside, the good elevator speech might just be the entry ticket to the client you've always wanted to call on or the firm you've wanted to interview with. This preparation can make a positive difference on your credibility, your reputation and your future opportunities.

Action Plan

Start now by defining the Presentation Universe you want to be prepared for to be Always On in the context of elevator speeches. Follow the steps in the tips section above to build your own speech. Evaluate how it works in the first few uses, and modify as needed to make it best fit you.

Networking tip - Elevator speech #2

Why??

Being well-prepared for opportunities involving recurring questions, like the elevator scenario, is a basic in the master presenter's repertoire. It's also a good opportunity to practice techniques that will work for opportunities involving more complicated questions wherein you don't have complete answers worked out in advance.

As indicated in our last article, we truly believe that Life Is a Series of Presentations and most of life's presentations are impromptu. The master presenter possesses the skills to leverage opportunities offered by being at the right place at the right time with the right audience. Being “Always On” means having the ability to say the right thing, in the right way; at the right moment, and in a manner that helps people to care about what we have to say.

Networking tip - Elevator speech #1

What ??

The classic “elevator speech” is essentially a standard answer, crafted in advance, to the “Who are you and what do you do?” question. The name comes from the idea that you need something ready to say when you have a chance encounter with someone you need to connect with on an elevator, and have just 15 to 45 seconds to deliver your message.

It begins with a brief description of what you do and the organization you work for, and often includes points or examples of special aspects of your offerings – how you uniquely provide value to clients or customers. It typically closes with a mechanism that provides a link to future contacts.

Effective elevator speeches, while not literally memorized word for word, are well rehearsed so as to sound completely natural and spontaneous. They need to be sufficiently flexible to permit on-the-fly adjustment to the person you are talking to.

Personality Development - Attitude

Wanting to be better is too often seen as a negative thing. The whole 'tall poppy' syndrome is well and truly alive.

Dare to be better, not in a way that is competitive for competitiveness sake with those around you, but more aimed at yourself.

Dare to better the results you have already achieved. Issue yourself a challenge to lift your expected outcomes. Never compare yourself to others and their results. All you then really set yourself up for are their outcomes. In the other people's outcomes may be nowhere near where you want to be.

Challenge yourself every morning when you wake up. Try to better the outcomes you got the previous day.

Constantly remind yourself that you are better than the outcomes that you experience. This just means that you are constantly improving yourself.

Personality Development - Positive attitude

A Positive Attitude affects Personality

Personality is often defined as the unique mix of physical and mental traits found in an individual. Your personality also exists in the minds of others-and is defined by each of them according to the way they view you.

The impact of attitude is so great that it can overshadow the physical and mental characteristics within a personality. A positive attitude can be powerful enough to enhance personality traits. On the other hand, a negative attitude can diminish or cover up what would otherwise be attractive personal characteristics.

ØA person with a high positive attitude can convert an ordinary personality into one that is interesting or exciting to others

ØA positive attitude can make a typical person seem better looking to others

ØA positive attitude can attract attention to outstanding traits in a personality that would normally go unnoticed

ØSome positive attitudes seem to "shine through" other personality characteristics, making the total image of the person brighter and more attractive to others.

Leadership skils - Listening skills

Listen To What They Are Not Saying and Learn from it

Many times what your team members do not say is as important as what they do say. A manager has to develop the ability to listen to what his team members are not saying and dig through that to get to the truth. Otherwise you will not be an effective leader.

Don't just listen to what is said.

Don't just hear what you want to hear.

Don't try to make all the responses you get support your premise. It is much more difficult, but much more valuable to listen also to what is not said.

Try to set up your meetings, your surveys, and your company culture so that you get good dialogue.

Healthy discussion and even disagreement is better than surrounding yourself with "yes men". You already know why your ideas are good. What you want to listen for are the reasons why they might not be perfect.

Don't silence the dissenting voices.

Don't assume silence is agreement. Usually it is not.

Dig deep enough to learn what your team members are not saying and you will be a better and more effective manager.

Communication skills - Writing for Business

The purpose of business writing is to convey information to someone else orto request information from them. To be effective writing for business, youmust be complete, concise, and accurate.

Whether you are writing a sales proposal, an email to your department, or aninstruction manual for a software package, there are certain steps you needto follow to create effective business writing. You need to: Organize your material

Personal development - Developing optimism

How To Become More of an Optimist

Optimism is measured by your explanatory style, or how you defineevents. If you can learn to define positive events as being a) because ofsomething you did, b) a sign of more good things to come and c) evidencethat good things will happen in other areas of your life, you'rehalfway there. If you can also think of negative events as a) not your fault,and b) isolated occurrences that have no bearing on future events orother areas of your life, you're the rest of the way there!

When something positive happens in your life, stop to analyze yourthought process for a moment. Think of all the strengths you possess andways you contributed, both directly and indirectly, to make this eventoccur.

Think of other areas of your life that could be affected by this goodevent. Also, think of how the strengths that you possess that causedthis good thing to happen can also cause other positive events in yourlife.

Imagine what future possibilities could be in store.

When negative events occur, think of the extenuating circumstances thatcould have contributed to this happening.

Also remember that you'll have endless opportunities to do better inthe future. Think of your next potential success, or other areas whereyou can excel.

Personal development - Developing optimism

How To Become More of an Optimist

Optimism is measured by your explanatory style, or how you defineevents. If you can learn to define positive events as being a) because ofsomething you did, b) a sign of more good things to come and c) evidencethat good things will happen in other areas of your life, you'rehalfway there. If you can also think of negative events as a) not your fault,and b) isolated occurrences that have no bearing on future events orother areas of your life, you're the rest of the way there!

When something positive happens in your life, stop to analyze yourthought process for a moment. Think of all the strengths you possess andways you contributed, both directly and indirectly, to make this eventoccur.

Think of other areas of your life that could be affected by this goodevent. Also, think of how the strengths that you possess that causedthis good thing to happen can also cause other positive events in yourlife.

Imagine what future possibilities could be in store.

When negative events occur, think of the extenuating circumstances thatcould have contributed to this happening.

Also remember that you'll have endless opportunities to do better inthe future. Think of your next potential success, or other areas whereyou can excel.

Personal development - Critical-Thinking Skills

Critical-Thinking Skills

In its simplest form, critical thinking in business involves working out the best possible answer by using all information that has value for the question and resisting irrelevant or unreliable considerations.

The key is to recognize the inescapably organic nature of on-the-job decision making.

What skills are required to do this? Executives must be able to accomplish tasks, understand other people and accurately judge themselves.Executives who accomplish tasks well:Question underlying assumptionsAnticipate unintended consequences of various tacticsDefine a problem appropriatelyDifferentiate essential objectives from less relevant concernsAnticipate and circumvent likely obstacles to achieving objectives.

Time Management Tips

Time Management Tips

Time management skills are especially important for managers, who often find themselves performing many different jobs during the course of a single day. These time management tips will help you increase your productivity and stay cool and collected.

Realize that time management is a myth.

No matter how organized we are, there are always only 24 hours in a day. Time doesn't change. All we can actually manage is ourselves and what we do with the time that we have.

Find out where you're wasting time.

Many of us are prey to time-wasters that steal time we could be using much more productively.

Create time management goals.

Remember, the focus of time management is actually changing your behaviors, not changing time. A good place to start is by eliminating your personal time-wasters. For one week, for example, set a goal that you're not going to take personal phone calls while you're working.

Selling skills -Some tips

Invest in face-time with customers- Many studies have shown that only 'face-time' builds relationships and trust, and that customers are willing to buy more, buy faster, and pay more (sometimes much more) from people they trust and have a relationship with. It shows you care.Solve the problem, don't excuse it: If there is a problem, make it easy on yourself -- fix the problem quickly to the customer's satisfaction. No apology required.

Return calls promptly- Nowhere does the very human tendency to procrastinate cause more grief and damage than in unreturned phone calls (and nowadays, unreturned urgent e-mails).Return the call immediately, even if it's only to acknowledge you received it.Make it easy for the customer to buy: Simplify the customer's life. If the customer is seeing you, he/she generally is willing to buy. Use every possible way to make it an easy hassle-free experience. Save them time, reduce the number of substantially-similar choices, and suggest appropriate buying criteria. Be helpful.

Listen first, sell later: It is much easier when the customer buys on their own initiative, than when you have to sell.

A positive anything is better than a negative nothing

There are so many people waiting for the 'right time' to start something, whether that's a business, a new goal or even a diet.

Some people don't start anything because they want a guarantee that whatever they do start will result in the outcome they have envisioned.

Well, the fact is, there are no guarantees. So JUST START! Even the smallest positive result is better than no result at all.

Tech - Outlook tip

Leadership Skills - Rejuvenate Teams

Tips to Rejuvenate Teams Encourage innovation from the team.

There's a little bit of entrepreneur in each of us, and being given the opportunity to take reasonable risk can renew member interest in the project. Identifying and improving on the work process may be just what a team needs for new energy. Of course, those who come up with good ideas should have their contributions acknowledged and rewarded. The feedback reinforces creativity in others.

Offer a new perspective on the situation.

One way to do this is to arrange a field trip to a customer's or a supplier's facility. Not only will the visit offer new food for thought and discussion at member meetings, but the VIP treatment that the customer or supplier is likely to give the team participants should make the field trip a motivating experience.

Raise the bar -- present new challenges.

Expand the scope of the project or otherwise change the team's objectives so that the target becomes more challenging to members. Tie the new initiative to a corporate strategic thrust, like customer service or costs or quality product. Whatever the new tasks, there will be elements that the team members will have to learn. So long as the training is in stages, and the new responsibility isn't overwhelming, team members will come away feeling more valued.

Workplace Productivity & Motivation Success Tips

There are four factors that must be present in your workplace for your employees to be happy and motivated at work. Your employees need respect, to be members of the in-crowd, to have the opportunity to grow and develop, and access to reasonable leadership. Respect is the fundamental right of every employee in every workplace. If people feel as if they are treated with respect, they usually respond with respect and dignified actions. Part of respect is praise and feedback so people know how they are doing at work. Employees want to feel as if they are members of the in-crowd. This means that they know and have access to information as quickly as anyone else in your workplace. Employees want to learn new skills, develop their capabilities, and grow their knowledge and careers.

Organisation - Corporate Crisis Management

Corporate Crisis Management

Every business, no matter how large or small, is vulnerable to a crisissituation. An incident could occur at any time, without warning. Someincidents threaten business operations, while others damage communityrelations, create adverse publicity, or result in financial loss andcivil liability. Preparing for potential crises may seem like a dauntingtask, but there are actions you can take now to ensure your organizationmanages emergency situations effectively, whenever they occur. The keyis to create an infrastructure that allows for the management ofincidents ranging from minor incidents appropriately handled by sitemanagers, through major crises that trigger a coordinated response at thehighest levels of the organization.

2. DEFINE ROLES AND RESPONSIBILITIES CLEARLY

Creating a shared understanding of who is responsible for keyactivities before an emergency occurs is critical to an organized response.Effective planning involves defining a Corporate Crisis Management Team andIncident Response teams for each site, including the corporate level.

3. CREATE AN EMERGENCY RESPONSE PLAN

Effective handling of any incident requires careful research, planning,preparation and training to ensure that the situation is managedappropriately. The goal is to identify guidelines to help the organizationrespond quickly and effectively to an unforeseen emergency.Ideally, local management handles incidents with local consequences.Corporate support is added as the situation escalates. For example, theCorporate Crisis Management Team or the Corporate Incident Response Teammay assume oversight of crises that exceed the local resources, orthose that impact the organization at a broader level.

August 15, 2006

Personal Development - The Art of Listening

The Art of Listening

The ability and need to communicate touches every area of our lives. Everything we do in life requires communication with others. Much of communication theory focuses on how to speak to others and how to convey your message. But, communication is really a two-way process. It is an activity, not a one-time event. The listener's role is as central to the communication process as the speaker's role.

Improving Listening Skills:

Exercise active listening skills. Try asking more questions. If youneed clarification ask the speaker to say more, give an example or toexplain further. Give feedback or paraphrase what you've heard. Try making eyecontact with the speaker. Become aware of your personal filters and triggers. Each of us is aproduct of our upbringing, culture, life experiences and anything andeverything that makes us unique as human beings. Our uniqueness can sometimes bean obstacle to being an effective listener. As you listen, try to remainopen to what you are hearing and withhold evaluation or judgment.

Observe your own and other people's listening habits. Ask yourself whatit feels like when someone really listens to you and when they don't.Create a checklist of habits you want to change. Also, acknowledge yourself forlistening habits you have that do work for you. Listen without formulating a response to the speaker. As listeners wethink about 500 words per minute while the normal speaking rate is about 125to 150 words per minute. That creates a lot of room for communication tobreak down or for your mind to wander! Try to hear everything that is beingsaid, listen to the entire message and then respond.

Listen with empathy. Empathy is an imaginative process. Empathy isemptying the mind and listening with the whole being. Empathy is a respectful understanding of what others are experiencing. True empathy is theability to fully understand and accept another, complete with all theirfeelings, thoughts and opinions. Become aware of the speaker's non-verbal communication. One estimatehas it that 75% of all communication is non-verbal. Beyond the words is a hostof clues as to what the speaker is communicating.

Create an environment for the listening to occur. Remove distractions.And, if all else fails just remember these words by Epictetus, anancient Greek philosopher and you are guaranteed to improve your listeningskills: "Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as muchas we speak."

Personlity - Positive attitude

A Positive Attitude affects Personality

Personality is often defined as the unique mix of physical and mental traits found in an individual. Your personality also exists in the minds of others-and is defined by each of them according to the way they view you.

The impact of attitude is so great that it can overshadow the physical and mental characteristics within a personality. A positive attitude can be powerful enough to enhance personality traits. On the other hand, a negative attitude can diminish or cover up what would otherwise be attractive personal characteristics.

ØA person with a high positive attitude can convert an ordinary personality into one that is interesting or exciting to others

ØA positive attitude can make a typical person seem better looking to others

ØA positive attitude can attract attention to outstanding traits in a personality that would normally go unnoticed

ØSome positive attitudes seem to "shine through" other personality characteristics, making the total image of the person brighter and more attractive to others.

Personlaity - it's all a matter of attitude

Wanting to be better is too often seen as a negative thing. The whole 'tall poppy' syndrome is well and truly alive.

Dare to be better, not in a way that is competitive for competitiveness sake with those around you, but more aimed at yourself.

Dare to better the results you have already achieved. Issue yourself a challenge to lift your expected outcomes. Never compare yourself to others and their results. All you then really set yourself up for are their outcomes. In the other people's outcomes may be nowhere near where you want to be.

Challenge yourself every morning when you wake up. Try to better the outcomes you got the previous day.

Constantly remind yourself that you are better than the outcomes that you experience. This just means that you are constantly improving yourself.

Listen To What They Are Not Saying

Listen To What They Are Not Saying and Learn from it

Many times what your team members do not say is as important as what they do say. A manager has to develop the ability to listen to what his team members are not saying and dig through that to get to the truth. Otherwise you will not be an effective leader.

Don't just listen to what is said.

Don't just hear what you want to hear.

Don't try to make all the responses you get support your premise. It is much more difficult, but much more valuable to listen also to what is not said.

Try to set up your meetings, your surveys, and your company culture so that you get good dialogue. Healthy discussion and even disagreement is better than surrounding yourself with "yes men". You already know why your ideas are good. What you want to listen for are the reasons why they might not be perfect. Don't silence the dissenting voices. Don't assume silence is agreement. Usually it is not. Dig deep enough to learn what your team members are not saying and you will be a better and more effective manager.

August 11, 2006

Personal development - A Positive Attitude affects Personality

A Positive Attitude affects Personality

Personality is often defined as the unique mix of physical and mental traits found in an individual. Your personality also exists in the minds of others-and is defined by each of them according to the way they view you.

The impact of attitude is so great that it can overshadow the physical and mental characteristics within a personality. A positive attitude can be powerful enough to enhance personality traits. On the other hand, a negative attitude can diminish or cover up what would otherwise be attractive personal characteristics.

Ø A person with a high positive attitude can convert an ordinary personality into one that is interesting or exciting to othersØ A positive attitude can make a typical person seem better looking to othersØ A positive attitude can attract attention to outstanding traits in a personality that would normally go unnoticedØ Some positive attitudes seem to "shine through" other personality characteristics, making the total image of the person brighter and more attractive to others.

Personal Development - Its the attitude stupid!!

Wanting to be better is too often seen as a negative thing. The whole 'tall poppy' syndrome is well and truly alive.

Dare to be better, not in a way that is competitive for competitiveness sake with those around you, but more aimed at yourself.

Dare to better the results you have already achieved. Issue yourself a challenge to lift your expected outcomes. Never compare yourself to others and their results. All you then really set yourself up for are their outcomes. In the other people's outcomes may be nowhere near where you want to be.

Challenge yourself every morning when you wake up. Try to better the outcomes you got the previous day.

Constantly remind yourself that you are better than the outcomes that you experience. This just means that you are constantly improving yourself.

Management skills - Learning to listen

Listen To What They Are Not Saying and Learn from it

Many times what your team members do not say is as important as what they do say. A manager has to develop the ability to listen to what his team members are not saying and dig through that to get to the truth. Otherwise you will not be an effective leader.Don't just listen to what is said. Don't just hear what you want to hear. Don't try to make all the responses you get support your premise. It is much more difficult, but much more valuable to listen also to what is not said.

Try to set up your meetings, your surveys, and your company culture so that you get good dialogue. Healthy discussion and even disagreement is better than surrounding yourself with "yes men". You already know why your ideas are good. What you want to listen for are the reasons why they might not be perfect. Don't silence the dissenting voices. Don't assume silence is agreement. Usually it is not. Dig deep enough to learn what your team members are not saying and you will be a better and more effective manager.

August 07, 2006

The Art of Listening

The Art of ListeningThe ability and need to communicate touches every area of our lives.Everything we do in life requires communication with others. Much ofcommunication theory focuses on how to speak to others and how to conveyyour message. But, communication is really a two-way process. It is anactivity, not a one-time event. The listener's role is as central to thecommunication process as the speaker's role.

Improving Listening Skills:

Exercise active listening skills. Try asking more questions. If you needclarification ask the speaker to say more, give an example or to explainfurther. Give feedback or paraphrase what you've heard. Try making eyecontact with the speaker.

Become aware of your personal filters and triggers. Each of us is a productof our upbringing, culture, life experiences and anything and everythingthat makes us unique as human beings. Our uniqueness can sometimes be anobstacle to being an effective listener. As you listen, try to remain opento what you are hearing and withhold evaluation or judgment.

Observe your own and other people's listening habits. Ask yourself what itfeels like when someone really listens to you and when they don't. Create achecklist of habits you want to change. Also, acknowledge yourself forlistening habits you have that do work for you.

Listen without formulating a response to the speaker. As listeners we thinkabout 500 words per minute while the normal speaking rate is about 125 to150 words per minute. That creates a lot of room for communication to breakdown or for your mind to wander! Try to hear everything that is beingsaid,listen to the entire message and then respond.

Listen with empathy. Empathy is an imaginative process. Empathy is emptyingthe mind and listening with the whole being. Empathy is a respectfulunderstanding of what others are experiencing. True empathy is the abilityto fully understand and accept another, complete with all their feelings,thoughts and opinions.

Become aware of the speaker's non-verbal communication.

One estimate has itthat 75% of all communication is non-verbal. Beyond the words is a host ofclues as to what the speaker is communicating.Create an environment for the listening to occur. Remove distractions.And, if all else fails just remember these words by Epictetus, an ancientGreek philosopher and you are guaranteed to improve your listening skills:"Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as wespeak."