Deeside Women’s Aid has changed its name to the Domestic Abuse Safety Unit. Here, LOIS BISHOP looks at the services it provides for victims of domestic violence.

IMAGINE living in fear, feeling worthless and that you are to blame for someone abusing you – whether psychologically or physically.

But this is the reality for many women in Flintshire, resulting in 2,248 incidents of domestic violence being reported in the county in 2006-07 – bearing in mind it is estimated only 40% of domestic violence is actually reported at all.

The Domestic Abuse Safety Unit, formerly Deeside Women’s Aid, offers information, advocacy, help and support to women and their children in the area who are experiencing, or have experienced, domestic violence.

Sue Monti, domestic abuse safety advocate, said: “We provide information on the options available to them and the choices they have in order to increase their safety and reduce the risk to them. We risk-assess and safety-plan on an individual basis.

“We provide a refuge service which can be temporary or longer term at a secret location.

“A lot of what we do is sensitive psychological support because when women come in to us and use our services they can be distressed and confused. The impact on them can be huge.”

One of its main services is the Freedom programme, a psychological intervention course designed to help women understand their experience of domestic violence in terms of power and control.

The 12-week course has been running in the Deeside area since 2002 and aims to help women develop strategies to protect themselves, their children and others from further harm.

“It helps them to recognise and identify the more subtle forms of abuse. Even with physical abuse women will blame themselves saying they have not done this or that because they are being told ‘you made me do this’,” said Sue.

Abuse can take many forms and can involve a man making his partner feel ugly and useless, it can be physical from spitting to smashing items, to stopping her seeing her friends, family and even working.

He may use sex or money to control his partner and blame her for his behaviour, leaving her confused, depressed, worthless and frightened.

And although women try to escape, the time around Christmas can be a difficult one to do so.

Sue said: “On the whole, certainly women with children are less likely to leave at Christmas and really put up with it all because they want to protect Christmas for the children as best they can.

“But it’s not always a good move to make because their partner will break toys, dinner goes up the wall, new mobile phones have been thrown against the wall. It’s not because they are drinking more. It’s not about going drinking and losing your temper. The psychological abuse is ongoing all the time.

“On birthdays, and at Christmas, there will be something to spoil it quite deliberately.”

She added: “Quite a lot of women live with a feeling of shame, that it’s their fault. Sometimes they try to protect the world from knowing what’s going on because they are feeling it’s their fault.”

One of the unit’s most important roles is safety planning, which involves carrying out risk assessments.

Women whose partners are identified as very high risk are referred to the Multi- Agency Risk Assessment Conference (MARAC), which involves agencies such as the police, social services, education and housing meeting to assess the situation.

“We try to ensure we get drug and alcohol teams to attend too,” said Sue.

But one of the most dangerous times for a woman is when she breaks free from the relationship.

“It’s because once he has lost control, his aim then is to try and get it back. He will be outraged she has dared to end the relationship because it’s not her place to do that. Men can start new relationships and can still be harassing her especially when there are children involved.”

Sue and her colleagues at the Domestic Abuse Safety Unit, which changed its name to better reflect its services, are all CAADA (Co-ordinated Action Against Domestic Abuse) trained and the unit is independent to any other statutory agency.

But, they sometimes work alongside Delyn Women’s Aid and are part of a network of Women’s Aid groups.

She added: “Our long-term aim is to have a domestic abuse safety programme so they plan how to risk-assess with self-defence in it.

“That’s our long-term aim because women deserve it. That helps them to stay away from abusive relationships in the future. Sometime for years afterwards we are supporting women.”

But, she said, abusive men can also get help to address their behaviour if they want to by calling Respect.

“Because women can change we have to believe men can too. It’s about being open to wanting to change.”