Worlds collide in ‘Wife Swap’

When ABC’s “Wife Swap” contacted Anita and Rick
Lowe of Landisburg in July 2006 about coming on their show, they
decided it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

The Lowes were chosen for the show after
network researchers found their Web site, www.loweswhitetail.com, and
learned about their business — collecting and bottling deer urine used
by hunters.

The hour-long show will air at 8 p.m. on Feb. 26 on ABC television.

“I felt my husband and I had some good
values that we could share, and it was a chance to see how other
families live,” said Anita.

The two families were kept in the dark until the women arrived on one another’s doorsteps.

“You have to seize the moment,” said Anita. “I wasn’t scared, I looked at it as an adventure.”

Anita entered the Hamilton household in
Ohio where husband, Tim, is a full-time warehouse worker, and wife,
Angie, a salon owner, and daughter, Chastity, love to shop and primp.

“The look on Chastity’s face when she saw
me for the first time made me feel like she was thinking — Oh, my God,”
said Anita, who had her hair in a ponytail, was dressed in sweatpants
and wore no makeup. “The first thing she did was look to see what I
brought in my suitcase.”

Anita described Chastity as challenging,
rebellious and spoiled, someone whose identify is wrapped around her
appearance and designer clothing.

While Chastity lacked respect for others, Anita felt respect from her stepfather, Tim, despite his initial look of shock.

“He is used to seeing someone in high heels,” she said.

Mr. Tim, as she calls him, acted like he
was a slave. At the end of the day he did the household chores and the
cooking and catered to Chastity.

“If I treated my husband like that I would be divorced,” said Anita. “It wasn’t a partnership.”

Anita’s goals for the Hamiltons were to
help Tim to realize that he deserved respect and time to relax and have
fun. For Chastity, she hoped to establish limits for her behavior and to
instill a willingness in her to pitch in and help with chores.

“I tried to help Tim to understand that as
a parent you need to set guidelines and that it was OK for Chastity to
get mad at him,” said Anita, who also made him take time for himself.

“I wanted him to see what it could be like
when everyone pitches in.” Eventually, Anita said, he started to see
things could be different.

Chastity was a much bigger challenge, especially since Tim didn’t back her up.

Hoping to make Chastity understand that
clothes and makeup don’t define you, she took away her designer labels
and replaced them with clothing from Goodwill.

At one point, when she assigned her
chores, Chastity screamed, yelled and stomped her feet. When Tim started
to defend her, Anita told him, “This is it. You need to step up to the
plate.”

He did.

During her two-week stint, Anita was not allowed to have any contact with her family.

“One of the most important things I have
gained from the experience is making more time to spend with my
children, Brandie, 19, and Brandon, 17,” said Anita. “I’ve learned I
need to make the time.”

The experience made her more able to
accept her children’s decisions for their lives and to respect their
self-sufficiency a lot more.

She was shocked to feel butterflies in her stomach when she was reunited with Rick, her husband of 25 years.

“I missed my best friend, even his snoring,” she said.

The experience, she said, has also made
Rick appreciate her more and he, too, has made more time for their
children after Angie Hamilton spent two weeks in his house as the other
side of the swap.

“He had to be everything to them while I
was gone, both Mom and Dad,” she said. “He appreciates what they do and
is happy that our emphasis is not on money or material things.”

She believes their children have learned that even though she nags or hollers at them, they are better people for it.

With Angie, they told her, they often felt like they were being bought.

She credits the Hamiltons for the time
they spend with Chastity and is grateful it is something they have shown
her family. While she was living in the Lowe household, Angie Hamilton
started a scrapbook for her temporary family. Anita was so touched she
has taken up the hobby.

On the surface, she described Rick and Angie as fire and water, but despite their different lifestyles they bonded.

“At the final meeting, Angie said she
learned that Rick is a good guy and that clothing does not define
people,” said Anita. “She said she never laughed so hard in her life and
appreciated Rick’s sense of humor.”

As for Chastity, Anita hopes she is learning the importance of taking responsibility.

“In one’s life, if you want anything you have to work hard because nothing is handed to you on a silver platter,” she said.

It is an experience she says she will carry with her for the rest of her life.