there's a difference between being an assertive strong girl vs. a "butch" girl. The way I was brought up where you're supposed to act ultra feminine really turn me off to the ultra Confucian feminine girl such as always acting "thuy my" very coquettish. I'm by no means a butch girl but I'm not the pretentious deferential type either.

Many times I see young girls being yelled at for acting like a boy and it's just wrong. Little girls can run around, be athletic, etc...I think it's actually cute.

I don't think Vietnamese pay that much attention to that Confucian ideals regarding women. What I've heard is that they are trying to promote gender equality in schools and businesses. Everything that's being taught to boys would apply to girls as well. Girls would participate in sports and events. That's why they don't require wearing ao dai, only for special occasions.

Of course you have a really feminine girl, but I think that's their own doing, trying to get favors for being a girl or something.