16.1.16

Yes I am in the mood to blog again! Bonus alright for you guys hehe. Alright first things first, here’s a disclaimer to everyone who’s reading this right now. I’m in no position to judge anyone based on how y’all do you, so every opinion of mine in this post has a reason on itself. Let’s all have an open mind and what I really really hope through all my posts I could inspire people to listen to their own hearts, because at the end of the day, you’re gonna do you and I’m gonna do me 😉

So in today’s post I’m gonna talk about wedding venues and costs. Trust me, the wedding venue is so freaking important that without settling it first, it is almost impossible to proceed with other bookings/plans/registrations. I repeat, almost impossible. True? Like I mentioned in my previous post, I got engaged in November of last year and only in June of this year I get to finally book the venue of my choice.

Now you see, people are definitely gonna place their inputs and opinions in your head no matter where you do it. Void decks, hotels, home itself, mosques, MPHs, Safra, community centres etc. you name it. One thing I really hate about today’s ‘malay culture’ is that it now seemed like an important and compulsory thing to sanding (it means the sitting down of the bride and groom on the bridal couch/dais), have different pairs of bridal outfits, kompang and.. the list goes on and on.

Okay, I’m not against it, only to a certain extent because this tradition has been around for so long that maybe I can’t blame the generation nowadays. I can’t deny, I’m in awe each time I see weddings under the void deck/safra/MPH whatsoever. But hey, I’ve gotta be strong in telling my heart that it is not beneficial for myself and Mr A. Firstly, costs. Spending a whooping amount of almost $13K to $20K just for the wedding decor package does not sound amusing to me at all.

I mean think about it. What can you do with that kind of amount? You could pay the deposit for your new house, furniture, renovation, personal savings or honeymoon maybe? So. Much. Worth it. You work you a** off for years, only to spend the 5 digits on a one or two day event? It will not matter then, at what age you get married. Because if you spend that amount only in one or two days after years of saving, man I pity you to be honest. In no way I’m insulting you for making your wedding a grand one but come on?

Me and Mr A have never been favorable about this idea. Simply because the years of saving up money just for that one day event may result in holding back your intention in doing something good (i.e to be halal with someone). Such a pure intention ain’t it? Me and Mr A have faced a lot of challenges of wanting to be halal with each other. Good things, never come easy.

We have the closest people dissent our opinions and intentions. Well, that is the most heartbreaking experience because trust me, planning a wedding strictly based on your own tastes/decisions is hard man. You’ll start to see who’s really there for you in dark times, who are the ones who’ll support your decisions to be happy and who really cared for you. I mean, there are people who claim our own happiness is important but what if people disagree with the one and only thing that’ll make me and Mr A happy?

What, you ask? Me and Mr A have decided to make our wedding a simple one and we don’t wanna cause any inconveniences to ourselves, families and friends or whoever. We don’t wanna waste anyone’s money or energy. We’d rather spend lesser on our wedding and save lots more for our home, honeymoon, everyday needs and much much more after the wedding. In our malay community, for those who didn’t know, there is a common stereotype that goes – if you do a small wedding, you’ll be considered as ‘the poor one‘ or ‘maybe the girl is pregnant so that is why they rushed to marry‘ or some may even feel ashamed to do a small wedding nowadays. There’s a lot more though.

Sad huh. But hey, you’ve gotta be strong no matter what. Trust what is beneficial for you. Like what Ustaz Azhar Idrus said, “perkahwinan yang paling berkat adalah yang paling murah mas kahwin & paling murah belanja.” Which means the most blessed marriages are the one with the least amount of expenditures and cheapest dowry. I’m not gonna tell my son/daughter one day “eh you must do under the void deck okay” or “take the most expensive photography and videography packages’ or even “you better not do at the mosque because later people think we sengket (something like stingy).

I really do pray for these types of narrow-minded people I mean come on. Let the bride and groom do it how they want. It’s gonna be a once in a lifetime experience. Me and Mr A have kicked out a lot of opinions that don’t matter because why? It’s gonna be our marriage. Do the most beneficial thing. At the end of the day, we are satisfied because it was what we wanted. In shaa Allah, we believe sustenance only come from Allah SWT and our hard work.

Our choice of venue

We are always thankful of the people who supported our decision since day 1 in doing a small event. Me and Mr A have decided to have our solemnization done at Masjid Al-Istighfar. Didn’t take the solemnization hall though, as it costs $300 and the only difference is that it has a dais. Well, that is not important though because it’s only for a short period of time and you still have to go to the buffet hall to eat. So might as well I just get solemnized at the main prayer hall which is just beside the buffet hall (FOC) and just book the buffet hall.

Not bad eh? 🙂 When we reached the venue to book the other day, I became so emotional. I went through so so much to get to where I was standing at that point of time. I felt so thankful to Allah SWT, for showing me the right thing to do and also the strength that came along with it. It was like, one burden was off of my shoulders because I can finally book other important things (coming up in the next few parts). I will not elaborate the hard times in my blog because it’s very much personal. I just hope, my readers will be strong in doing what you think is best.

The mosque is just for my side. On Mr A’s side, he just wanted a small event, inviting a small amount of people right at his home. Nothing grand 😉

My personal tips on planning a wedding:

* Do it for the sake of Allah and in seeking his pleasure, in shaa Allah
* No one is perfect, so do you
* Kick out the unnecessary opinions that will bring you down
* Plan and talk it out with your partner on what is really necessary for the wedding
* Be strong. There will be people who will dissent you
* Be decisive
* Wherever you think you can save cost, save it
* Always think about the future. Not just that one day event

Well, if there are anymore tips I will surely share with you readers along the way. Again, all this is just my opinion from the experience I went through. People are gonna talk, people are gonna hate. I personally feel the way I’m feeling. Don’t take it to the heart okay 😉