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I just watched the clip and I agree with him. The woman asked for advice to save her marriage. In the context of that, he told her to focus on the positive stuff and ran through what might be positive, such as him providing a home, food, etc.. Sure, it may have been old fashioned from some people's perspective, in that perhaps SHE makes the money and HE stays home with the kids...but he's not 20 years old either. Whaddya expect?

What did he say that isn't true in the context the question was asked? Yes, men ARE faced with temptation all over the place. The woman WANTED to forgive her husband and asked how. He advised her from that angle.

For those that disagree, what would you have said?

I gotta wonder...if I asked the married guys on here, "How many of you ever looked at something you shouldn't have or physically strayed," how many would TRUTHFULLY be able to say "Why no Gina, I never did that!" Ten percent? Saying it and having it be the truth are very different things. How many of you are sitting there right now wondering if staring at that pop up ad counted? In other words, don't pretend it isn't true that men don't have a innate tendency to wander and don't struggle with it. Read your Bibles people, it's been a problem for a VERY long time, enough that not doing it is one of the very few commandments and that there are laws made about it in the Bible, there are records of it in the Bible and the trouble it caused, here in the United States it even used to be grounds for a divorce, but now it's so COMMON that it doesn't even COUNT anymore! Is there really anyone who dares to say it's not an issue and this man is wrong for saying men tend to wander?

Oh, and while I'm at it, yes, women should pretty themselves up more. Even I get tired of looking at certain females around me day in and day out who have no reason to not do just a little more. They make dry shampoo for EMERGENCIES, not for laziness. Yuck people, YUCK!

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I just watched the clip and I agree with him. The woman asked for advice to save her marriage. In the context of that, he told her to focus on the positive stuff and ran through what might be positive, such as him providing a home, food, etc..

What did he say that isn't true in the context the question was asked? Yes, men ARE faced with temptation all over the place. The woman WANTED to forgive her husband and asked how. He advised her from that angle.

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In the context of advising her how to forget about his infidelity his answer started out OK.

For those that disagree, what would you have said?

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He should have stopped when he finished giving the advice. He then launched into reasons why the husband was not fully to blame for his actions ("males like to wander") and ended up putting the blame partly on the woman, i.e. "make the home so wonderful that he won't want to wander."

Saying it and having it be the truth are very different things. How many of you are sitting there right now wondering if staring at that pop up ad counted? In other words, don't pretend it isn't true that men don't have a innate tendency to wander and don't struggle with it.

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Struggle with and caving into it are two different things.

Oh, and while I'm at it, yes, women should pretty themselves up more. Even I get tired of looking at certain females around me day in and day out who have no reason to not do just a little more. They make dry shampoo for EMERGENCIES, not for laziness. Yuck people, YUCK!

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How was he taking responsibility off the guy by saying that guys have a tendency to wander? That doesn't mean they're not responsible for the results. It sounded like he was trying to help her understand and be able to forgive.

Nope, not moving onto blaming her, but people were getting onto him for saying (prior to this) that women contribute to marriage issues by not bothering to look half decent and I agree with that. Nobody has to be a beauty queen 24/7, but I've also seen women who have no reason to not brush their hair and put on some clean clothes go around looking icky and then act shocked if their husbands aren't as interested as they used to be. It's just common sense and respect for your husband to at least attempt to not be repulsive.

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How was he taking responsibility off the guy by saying that guys have a tendency to wander? That doesn't mean they're not responsible for the results. It sounded like he was trying to help her understand and be able to forgive.

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Robertson said to "make the home so wonderful that he won't want to wander", the implication being that the woman is somehow at fault for the man's wandering, i.e. the home must not have been wonderful enough. Or else

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I agree that a vow is a vow, but think about it. REALLY think about it.

In fact, simply reverse it. Let's go with the whole equality deal so the shoe is on the other foot so nobody will say it's a guy vs girl thing, okay?

I'll use my own husband as an example. I would get up in the morning, early, and go to work. After being in a classroom all day with kids, I was exhausted, physically and emotionally.

When I got home, the last thing I'd have wanted to see would have been a messy house, a spouse ill dressed and/or ill groomed, when it would only have taken a little time out of his day to make himself presentable and make sure the place looked comfortable and decent.

HE DID THAT FOR ME. I took it as a sign of love and respect. On the rare occasions when he did not, it was usually just fine because the guy, on top of that, worked evenings! Still, he does these things. He knows that I like him to be either clean shaven or to grow it out, so he does that for me. It makes me want to return the favor and try to look decent for him and do things that make HIM happy.

It DOES help our marriage. If, day in and day out, I'd have had to think that I would come home to a messy house and slobby looking spouse, I'd have started dreading coming home. It would have occurred to me to find a few friends and maybe go spend some time with them. Would that have been wrong? Nah, not exactly, but it would have been to avoid home, built up resentment, and opened the door to potential problems with meeting new people.

Or - the shoe could be on the other foot.

It's not just a light thing. How a spouse takes care of themselves and the home can be a major reflection on how they feel towards their partner. Of course other issues could come into play, such as health, time, etc., but I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about typical situations and even in the other ones, doing the best one can for that situation. It's a matter of dignity and respect. If you can't do that much for your spouse, which in reality is not a lot, what's that say about your feelings towards that person? It kinda says you don't care very much if you can't run a brush through your hair and make sure you're in clean clothes and maybe take an extra five minutes out of your life for their sake. Five minutes. Not talking wasting half an hour or anything. It's amazing what a woman can do with herself in five minutes! Full new set of clothes, cute little hairstyle thrown up, brush teeth, wash face, throw on a tiny bit of makeup, and you still have two minutes left over to give him a hug, tell him he's handsome, and go start a pot of coffee.

It's really not that much and makes a world of difference not just for a spouse, it's good for a woman to. Looking decent makes you feel better about yourself, inspires confidence, and often adds more energy. Men respond to that positivity. It's awesome. :saint: It's good advice, and I don't even like that 700 club guy! LOL I just happen to agree with him on this.

(that said, a husband that cheated on me and still trying to be in the same home? I'd be more likely to be in court asking a judge for forgiveness for what I did to the guy, but kudos to her for being more gracious and saving the marriage. I might just be too much of the jealous type to handle the one..)

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Gina, as a 76 YO guy who loves his 70 YO wife dearly and would never cheat on her, I basically agree with all you have said.
I've been on the "sloppy" side at times, and so has she. But we both know how it affects the other, so those times are rare!
Even more relevant to the relationship (IMHO) is how you describe your spouse to others, IE: things they do that you like, vs the little minor daily irrational things they do.
I have a policy that when I feel unusually annoyed at her for whatever, I just stop and think of the annoying things I do that put a burr under her saddle. It is then that I just thank God for a wonderful woman that, for reasons still unknown, decided that she loved me enough to spend the rest of her life with me.

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