A girl child,blessing in disguise

Pakistani culture grew under influence of two strong legacy of history.Being a Muslim it is our first and last choice of living to obey and copy paste the sayings and examples of life of Holy Prophet(pbuh) respectively.One of fine example he set was highly disregarded the infanticide of girl child and implemented the obligatory inheritance share to females as strong representatives of an Islamic society.Both decrees were against the traditions and norms of Arab culture.Furthermore Allah had certified this stance by only surviving his daughters and Prophet ‘s next generation was recognized from the family chain of her beloved daughter Bibi Fatima(as).Prophet(pbuh)’s immortal saying for those blessed fathers about raising and educating three daughters left no option in the weak minds to even think of devaluing the female child in any Islamic society.As per His saying Muslim men would get place near to Prophet in Heaven if he would raise his three daughters with love and care.

Another strong legacy imprinted in our conservative society was by British monarchy .That kingship was custodian of such land of world where sun was never set. India was ruled by British monarchy George VI(Albert Frederick Arthur George . He was the last “Emperor of India” until 22 June 1948), and the first Head of common Wealth. He set fine example of marrying to a prospective wife Elizabeth Lyon,They had two girl children ,Elizabeth and Margaret.Like other royals he could have been run for multiple marriages and demand for male heir of crown.Instead of this he followed the true legacy of Islamic ideology by placing thorn of British Empire to his responsible and mature daughter who is still leading as Queen of British Empire.

So we inherited two strong legacies regarding importance of Girl child in our history pages .Such fine examples relating to importance of female child has serious in-depth strong messages for coming generations.Like all traditional societies Muslims and Pakistanis too proved that such important practical messages couldn’t change their narrow-mindedness toward dominance of male heir and its preference on girl child.They showed a marked preference for sons over daughters and stick to old superstitious in which the family line passes through the son and in which he is supposed to look after his parents in old age so a son is worth more than a daughter. Having a girl is usually considered as deprived assets of parents who would be handed over to other family on her marriage. This Hindu proverb has significant importance in our orthodox setup ‘Raising a daughter is like watering your neighbors’ garden.’s. Polls carried out in different developing countries show the trends of Mothers that they 95% want sons, not daughters.So such a negative attitude among communities has become reason of serious life-threatening practices that impact the lives of millions of girl children in a patriarch societies like Arabs and sub continent too.These are:

– female infanticide

– female genital cutting

– honor killing

-over birth rate of unwanted females for getting a male heir.

So all society, community or any home if grows with complex of possessing male child as insignia of valor and longevity of family chain actually enforces any such above mentioned discriminatory attitude toward females.Oppressed, neglected,mutilated and unwanted girls sometime react more lethally and violently to their family and society that throughout prefer them on aggressive men folk.Instead of this if any family or society take care of limited numbers of girl child as per saying of Allah’s Prophet produce more strong women on which moral and ethical strength of any society depends. The girls grown up in protected and caring environments are proved to be more sincere and devotee sibling of their parents.Unwanted and discarded girls are as such taken by orthodox societies and even their life partners and other people around that girls keep them in same scale of rejection and humiliation that is expressed by their nearest guardians. Girls importance is strongly felt in western culture so here adoption rate of girl child is more than picking boys .Few popular proverbs of girl child clearly indicate that those who treat this blessing in disguise as real pleasure of life get the desire result at their late ages.e.g

-A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life.

-A daughter is the happy memories of the past, the joyful moments of the present, and the hope and promise of the future.

-If you would have a good wife, marry one who has been a good daughter.

In Islamic societies shite(ahle tasheeh) sect being follower of children of Hazrat Fatima highly regard girl child equal to level of their sons.This sect has modified the discretionary Islamic laws specially on inheritance and marital issues which enhance the motivation of male heirs in an Islamic family setup.So other sects should revive their laws which are being highly misused by morally weak folks of society.Oppressing the girls can produce variety of negative impact on moral values of any society that is reaction of neglected girls to overcome their insecurities which have been implanted in their minds since their young ages.They need same kind of love, care and protection which is usually given to boys of backward families.Denying the birth of girls is just as someone is meddling in God affairs who has unlimited approach of solving human problems in His ways.So by placing girl child in a right place is somehow part of strong faith of human mind on God’s right choice for them.

“-A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life.”

very generalized and really unfair comment. :@

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As far as inheritance/marital laws are considered , the laws in Quran are good enough instead of leaving the rights of people on the interpretation of Mullas/Ulemas/Scholars/Sufis/Theocrats/State/Parliamentarians. Instead of leaving things of interpretations , people while marriage or property distribution can make their own contracts like other contracts we do in business based on their own family/local/religious customs or some otherway. lots of room is their in personal contracts.

The only situation however where the laws are required is when there are disputes among two people involved in the contract and in that case civil law cases method (contract method to see what agreements were made and what bases were agreed upon including chosen religion/culture at the time of contract ) can be used instead of regulatory framework (where role of Ulemas/State is required for seeing how things are being dealt and making regulations based on interpretations).

-A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life.”

very generalized and really unfair comment. :@
faisal
I have picked few proverbs those I feel are also valid in our culture too.
what ever men say to me but I strongly see and experienced too that men have less capability of managing lot of relations in parallel and fair way.It is only possible if he luckily gets honest life partner who feel no insecurity while handling blood relations..This proverb become reality of many homes who provide clear different scale of provisions between of girls and boys.Such people face serious setback in their last ages

Fasial
Quran surely gives us guidance to handle different folks and relations in our lives.
but I strongly feel that these laws are required when human relations are controlled by self desires and greed.So when such sentiments touch its peaks it would tend towards crimes in society.Here society plays and its role and with the help of social scientists they make civil laws or go for ijtihad like choices but purpose of all is same to give justice to weak genders.
Our family laws,inheritance laws relating to female children, marrying to under age girl have been interfered and modified in this way as people misusing these laws toward the favour of stronger groups.
so there is no harm in it.
so in family and social circles where elders have good control on next generations they dont follow the orders of state frame work but act according to situation to provide justice to weak party of the family.
I have seen very fine decision of elders as per their experience to handle the family crisis by not opting Islamic and civil laws.oh sure in case of disagreements one should follow the legal framework provided by state to establish harmony among blood relations.

Parent’s training play major role.If they have inferior complex about their daughters, then it pass to their complexed daughters.So they can react in both directions, either become extremely submissive or highly aggressive

Raising a girl as child in backward and weak society is not an easy assignment .The news of a daughter’s birth is like the falling of a thunderbolt on family The atmosphere in the house becomes more gloomy after birth of each girl whom you are calling blessing and for parents they are burden
It comes in more bad shape when one has to raise undesirable girls.These girls grown up with frustration of having no place in home and society

Society needs daughters not unwanted girls……
This demand of couple having a or two sons are miserably achieve by giving birth to unwanted girls, reason of another kind of frustrated souls who are first lesson of negligence from their parents.

I am not against having girls but highly against unwanted girls who are produced for having a male child.they are one of neglected human beings as they are considered liability bringing up under complexed parents who prefer male child.These girl are highly ill mannered, aggressive and some time morally weak due to living in love deprived environment under the protection of weak parenting.

At student age this dialogue looks quite hurting but it becomes near to reality in late ages.
Get the data of adoption ratio in developed countries and you would find that girls have higher rates than boys as this has been socially proven that girls are more helpful to their parents in their older ages than sons whose behavior again dependent on their spouses to maintain a balanced and helpful relationship with their older parents.