Bigorexia: Masculinity and the Pursuit of Muscularity

Jasmine Peterson wonders why so many big men want to be bigger.

As a student of Psychology, I have developed a particular fascination with the gender binary, hegemonic masculinity and femininity, body image, and media representations of bodies. I spend a lot of time deconstructing images that I see in media, and deconstructing the things people say when they speak about bodies (much to the constant chagrin of everyone around me).

It seems that discussions about the pervasive objectification of the female body have become part of popular discourse; most people are at least peripherally aware of the role of media in pervasively objectifying the female body, of eating disorders like anorexia and bulimia, and of the significant role that our Western beauty ideal plays in their development. Body dissatisfaction in females is so common that it has come to be referred to as a ‘normative discontent’. Part of my fascination with body image and constructions of gender stems from this reality – I want, through my research and studies, to find ways to fight back against this systemic attack on body image in females and males.

What doesn’t seem to be acknowledged at the cultural level is the rise in body image dissatisfaction among men over the last several decades. Men have become increasingly concerned with muscularity, the idea that they are never big enough. And, like others who struggle with body image and disordered eating, males are increasingly engaging in unhealthy behaviours – like excessive exercise and unhealthy eating behaviours – in their pursuit of muscularity.

Where does this drive to be bigger, faster, stronger come from? Internalization of body ideals happens in early childhood – young children learn through images, the toys they play with, and through social interactions about ideal bodies. Children’s action figures have bodies that have become impossibly large over the past forty years (their proportions exceed those of even the largest body builders – as untenable as Barbie’s body type); characters in children’s shows have gotten progressively (and excessively) larger over the years, and the male form in advertisements and film, much like highly unrepresentative female bodies, has become one that is attainable by only very few. Given this trend, it isn’t overly surprising that there is a rise in men’s body dissatisfaction.

But why this shift in media representations, and the hypermasculinization and hypermuscularity? I have my hypotheses about these shifts. Our knowledge about the world and about ourselves is dependent upon the social and historical contexts in which we live. We’re living in a time where women have gained privilege and power – shifting social dynamics, where we’re vying for jobs traditionally done by men; encouraging men to take over their share of household duties (my partner will laugh at this, because he’s forever after me to do my share; I’m working on it) and sharing parenting responsibilities. Manhood has come to be defined through large, active bodies; it’s a means of gender differentiation (it is particularly interesting to examine the phenomenon of male bodies taking up more space and female bodies simultaneously occupying less physical space in idealized images). Muscularity signifies male power, renounces feminine ‘weakness’, signifies attractiveness, and is associated with strength, dominance, sexual virility, and self-esteem.

My partner and I have conversed about male bodies a great deal. He enjoys working out, and he’s extremely muscular. In conversations, however, he always talks about a desire to be ‘bigger’, a need to be bigger. I haven’t been able to comprehend this need; I think he’s a large man (nearly six feet tall, he towers over my less than five foot frame), and he’s well-defined. Other men often admire his build and marvel over his definition. Yet he still talks about being not big enough.

When we were talking about muscularity just this evening he made an insightful comment – one that I hadn’t considered, and one that makes a great deal of sense. He talked about the utility of the male body: “men like me desire muscles for one reason only: utility”

For him, muscularity isn’t about aesthetics. This idea of utility is logical – when grownups talk to young boys, emphasis is placed on agency, abilities, and the utility of their bodies. Boys are described with adjectives like “strong”, “fast”, “tough”; this provides boys with the message that their bodies are utile. Perhaps this is particularly important for certain men in defining their masculinity (because masculinity is enacted differently in different circumstances – dependent on socioeconomic status, ethnicity, sexual orientation, etc.). Masculinity isn’t static, but fluid, and different aspects of masculinity will be valued depending on one’s position in culture. My partner is a labourer, so he covets his muscularity for the agency it brings him, the ability to lift and move objects, and to do his job well.

I am by nature a scientist, inquisitive about natural phenomena. I am intrigued by the pursuit of ideal bodies, in the ways these body image ideals can be positive expressions of self, and the ways in which they can become pathological or detrimental to health. I am interested in both the constraints and strengths that result from gender constructions.

My conclusion thus far: there are aspects of both masculinity and femininity that are positive, and some that inhibit or constrain us. For some, the pursuit of muscularity might be harmful, and for others it might be a positive experience. For some, perhaps a mixture of both.

About Jasmine Peterson

Jasmine Peterson is a feminist and an activist. She is currently pursuing her Master's degree in Clinical Psychology. Her research has examined social constructionism, self-objectification, and, most recently, conceptions of health and their impact on males and females.

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I’m a bisexual male that enjoys being on the receiving end when being sexual with a male. Because of this I’m inclined to try to be more feminine. Yet, I still date women also, and I feel pressure to build up a bit of muscle. Even though I’m thin and it is difficult for me to build muscle, I’ve been able to build a thin athletic physique. At the moment I’m thinner, but I feel the urge to build muscle. I’m having trouble deciding.

That’s actually very interesting, and something I didn’t really explore in this particular article, but research has shown that there is greater pressure on homosexual males to attain a culturally sanctioned ‘attractive’ body. I’m not sure if there is research on bisexual individuals (I find that often the research in that population is greatly lacking). For me, I tend to like to do things only for myself, so if I’m feeling pressure to change the appearance of my body to attract others, I avoid that. I exercise only because it feels good, I eat because I’m hungry, and I focus… Read more »

Yes, anorexia certainly impacts males, as well. Perfectionistic tendencies, for either gender, is highly associated with this disorder. The group of men with the highest prevalence of disordered eating has been horse jockeys. However, it isn’t surprising to me that males are increasingly occupied with thinness, given the current discourses on “healthy” bodies and appropriate bodies. Which is why we really need to move away from such language and body shaming, because it’s not resulting in healthier people, but rather in mental anguish and unhealthy behaviours in the pursuit of ideal bodies.

You must stop putting ‘words in my mouth’, so to speak. I did not say that I have ‘felt the cold st eel against the roof of [my] mouth”. However, it is remiss to assume that I’ve not had experiences or personal knowledge of suicidality. And to be clear, I am not skirting your question; I was responding to your assertions and your misinterpretations of what I was saying. Also, a cursory search of the literature suggests that your ‘400%’ increase is a very exaggerated number. I’m not going to delve into an explanation of such an increase because it… Read more »

“A curosy search of the literature suggests that your 400% increase is a very exaggerated number” Then check out Lauren Hales’ article right here in the GMP ‘Depression, Anger ,Suicide and Men’ . You’ll find the stats I quoted from Dr. Will Courtenay Phd. You say it’s” not pertinent”, but it’s what keeps me going to the gym. I go for 2-21/2 hours 3x a week . I go until I cant stand steady, until I almost pass out, and feel vindication for surviving. The fact that i’ve gained 20lbs. of muscle while losing 50lbs. of weight is perhaps validation… Read more »

What a narrow, limited view that is. That would be like me saying that there are only two types of men: misogynists and anti-feminists. That would be a pretty inhibiting view of men, and doesn’t serve anyone well. I do not hate men, nor do I know feminists who do. I do not want to change men. Again, branch out from the internet if you at all want to know what feminism is really about.

You’ve clearly taken my comment out of context. It was in reply to your initial concerns – and it was a commentary on how masculinity contributes (not causes) such phenomena. Also, assume nothing about me as a person/student of clinical psychology. You cannot assert that I’ve not had similar experiences given that you have no knowledge of my life circumstances. Furthermore, clinicians, whether they’ve experienced suicidality or not, actually do have a great deal of insight into the issue particularly in terms of best practice in preventing suicide with clients. So it’s a slippery slope type of argument to suggest… Read more »

You still won’t answer my question, will you? You dance around it so i post it again. How do you explain the 400% spike in male suicides? You say that you too have felt the cold steel against the roof of your mouth. If that’s true, then you know the suffocating feeling of dispair and hopelessness. The orginization I’m reffering to is the National Orginization of Women. If your the “card carring feminist” you clain to be , I’m sure you heard of them.

First off, it’s YOU who said” It is the construct of masculinity that is limlting to men and contributes to health issues like suicide.” Despite all the fancy words and phrases you throw out there, you still didn’t answer the question, why the 400% spike in male suicides? You go to class and take good notes and think youy know what it’s like to “be on the edge”. Well lady, until you sit in the dark with a .357 Python in your hand with 2 rounds (just in case the first ones a misfire) well, you know NOTHING! Oh, by… Read more »

So you claim that male suicides can be attributed to the “male construct”. So how has the “male construct”changed so radically as to cause a 400% spike in just a few short years? Your a student of Clinical Psycology, so you must know the 2 overiding factors in most suicides , despair and hopelessness. your down and out and there doesn’t look like there’s anyway up, but there is a way out(this does not come fron any “Clinical Studies” but from experience). Feminist all pay lip service to this problem(whe’re studing the problem). Meanwhile, the 2 cornerstones of N.O.W. ,… Read more »

Firstly, I’ve not said that male suicides can be attributed to the male construct. Suicide (not preceded by any gender) is a complex phenomenon that is characterized by hopelessness and emotional pain; it is not about death so much about escaping pain. One cannot narrowly attribute suicide rates of either gender to one specific cause. The issue is far more nuanced than what you’ve presented here. I am getting really tired of anti-feminists asserting to me what feminism is about. I am a feminist. I am part of the feminist movement and I have never myself, nor heard any fellow… Read more »

“Men have become increasingly concerned with muscularity…”
Because masculinity is under attack, and has been for the last couple of decades. You think the rise of man-hate and metro’s, and the rise of men wanting to be bigger don’t corelate? These generations raised by women, to dislike everything “man”, will back fire big time.

I don’t see that masculinity has been under attack. Culture is always shifting, and there has been an increased attention to the limitations of the gender binary, but masculinity has never come under fire. You’re saying ‘metrosexuals’ are somehow attacking masculinity, or manhood, by simply existing? How is it that ‘metrosexual’ cannot also be masculine? It’s this sort of narrow thinking about what masculinity is that is highly problematic. And sure, men can be subject to misandry, just like women are subject to misogyny. But that isn’t the same as ‘attacking masculinity’. Masculinity is a construct; it shifts over time… Read more »

“I don’t see that masculinity has been under attack” Of course you don”t. Being a hard core Feminist, anything that knocks men down a peg it also advances womens’ privilage and that’s a good thing,right? As little as 3 years ago, the men to women suicide ratio was 3:1 . Now it’s estimated at 12:1. It’s estiniated that 70 men take their life every day. (I personally think that’s an undercount) Actually, there’s an article in todays New York Post (Feb. 14). It seema another N.Y.P.D. officer swallowed a round from his service gun . That makes 4 this year.… Read more »

There is a difference between what you’re talking about and an attack on masculinity. It is the construct of masculinity that is limiting to men and contributes to health issues like suicide. As a student in Clinical Psychology, I am highly concerned about issues like suicidality in males. It seems to me that you’re asserting that men are under attack; not masculinity. I don’t see that as the case either. Masculinity contributes the issues men experience, just as constructions of femininity can be inhibiting to women. It is my concern about the manners in which the construct of masculinity is… Read more »

Isn’t hypermuscularity on a decline? The orange colored professional bodybuilder is something from the 70s, now part of a bizarre subculture of oversized strongmen like… weightlifters. Next to them there are countless yoga-p90x practitioners which aim for a total different image. Just compare the Mr. Universe contest with the Ironman contest. Or compare toys of now and then. The redesigned “He-Man” of today looks like the macrobiotic brother of his steroid 80s counterpart.

I always felt that kick boxing was great for teaching children. They’ll understand the utility of muscles learning to balance strength and speed. They’ll develop hand eye coordination and learn timing. They’ll learn balance and develop self confidence. You might have to deal with the white to yellow/orange belt asshole phase, but after that, boys tend to avoid fighting. Two of the sexier women I’ve known took taekwondo. When other women found out they were surprised. How can she fight? She’s so small. Muscle has more density than fat so you can lose dress sizes and gain weight. One of… Read more »

Also, just to be clear, the points you’ve suggested I’ve made are not points that I’ve made. I’ve not been nearly so black and white on the issue. It’s nuanced, as I’ve mentioned time and again throughout this conversation. I did not say that it was impossible to lose and keep off body fat. I said that research has found that dramatic weight loss is highly improbable (not that any weight loss is), and I did not say that body fat is irrelevant to health. Rather, I said that the relationship is far more complex than ‘big = bad’, and… Read more »

Read a few of the articles. Agreed that weight cycling is bad, calorie restriction is pointless and counterproductive, physical fitness can ameliorate some of the risks of obesity, and BMI is worthless. I’ve acknowledged most of these points already. I agree that conventional wisdom on how to lose weight (low fat, lots of whole grains, nonfat dairy, no animal products, lots of cardio) doesn’t work and is unhealthy. But the most generous way to view adipose tissue is as inert cells which stores fat tissue for future use. Even on that, common sense alone would dictate that carrying dead weight… Read more »

Individual behaviours you can control, but it doesn’t mean that controlling individual behaviours necessarily means you can control your body shape (it is only slightly ameliorated through behaviours). A more holistic approach to health is on that does seek to address social, cultural, and environmental factors, rather than placing the locus of control within the body.

Look, it’s just not true that we have very little control over our body shape. I cannot even begin to count the number of people I’ve known or known of who have lost weight and kept it off by maintaining lifestyle changes. The stuff is not fiction. Every single person I’ve ever known who had weight management issues had numerous easily-identifiable problems in their lifestyle: consumption of grains, sweeteners, legumes, or dairy and poor sleep patterns. Sedentary lifestyle was common but not as common. I’ve talked with serious coaches who’ve been responsible for long-term success in hundreds of people. I… Read more »

We evidently disagree on this matter. Given the research that I’ve seen, and the anecdotal evidence, I think it is not only fallacious to suggest that the majority of individuals can drastically change the size/shape of their bodies through behaviour, but I also think it is exactly this thinking that continues to promote non-healthful programs of weight loss and body shaming that are ineffective and lead to psychological distress (especially when people have internalized the notion that their inability to drastically alter their body shape/size is due to a personal failure).

Jasmine, while I agree it’s a complex matter and there can be, sometimes, medical conditions (e.g. endocrine) that make losing weight difficult, in most cases it’s mainly a question of input and output: – if you input more calories than you “burn”, you put on weight. – if you burn more calories than your input, you lose weight. It’s not some magic trick. Then, the reason why many people just can’t eat less, can be due to many factors: IMHO often there are emotional/psychological factors (a sense of void, lack of affection and self-esteem, etc.), and food becomes a substitute… Read more »

Interestingly, people often assume that those who are ‘overweight’ eat more, exercise less, and are generally not engaging in healthy behaviours. However, this is inaccurate; these judgments have been found over and over again in research. Set point theory is a good example of how it is far more intricate than input/output. A personal anecdote that illustrates this point: I have been a student for the past six years. When I’m a student I have relatively little time to be active – and by relatively little, I mean basically no time. However, in the summertime, I run, lift weights, and… Read more »

Weird, because on an ancestral dietary pattern, I’ve known of people reversing Huntington’s, MS, obesity, diabetes, and I’ve heard of various psychological disorders being improved as well. People look better, feel better, and perform better. I’ve yet to meet a single person who did at least 30 days on an ancestral diet, with strict compliance, who saw no improvements to their health or body composition. That nonsense like calories-in-calories-out gets promoted is not something I can help, except to argue where I can. But to assume that because mainstream dietary advice is worthless, basically all dietary advice aimed at a… Read more »

The trouble for me with your position is simply that you’re so concrete in your thinking – it seems to you to be an either/or situation. It doesn’t account for nuances, cultural differences in weight/sizes, regional and geographical differences… among other things. I’m not saying you’re entirely incorrect, but I tend to lean toward a more holistic idea of health – one that isn’t based on moralistic evaluations and addresses health through social, environmental, psychological, cultural, and other factors. And a focus on body size does not get at a holistic approach. It’s also too reductive and simplistic.

Yes, people will be taller or broader based on some genetic variations. This can be observed in the size differences between people at the equator and people close to the poles. But diabetes will rot your legs off in Panama just as thoroughly as in Alaska. So I’d like to see Panamanians and Alaskans both avoid this. It turns out that most humans can do so with a very similar set of tools. I’m not primarily interested in body fat by itself. I’m interested in food quality and lifestyle factors which people can use to heal their own minds and… Read more »

Rick, clearly you’re deeply immersed in biomedical discourse, which relies on a mechanistic view of health and of bodies (no, the body is not a machine; and health is a complex state that is related not only to individual behaviours but the environment, the social structure, and political clime – illness is defined by cultures, and is not the same in every culture throughout the world, demonstrating that it is a construct and not an objective reality). I don’t read internet articles to inform my research, but I can provide some references that inform my own research: Saguy, A. (2007).… Read more »

Actually, the shift is related to a number of factors. While many western nations are ‘wealthy’ malnutrition is certainly an important factor. But there are also shifts in the types of work we’re doing, most particularly the shift from active work to office work. However, a lot of the shift has been over-exaggerated because most of the research is done using the BMI, and the BMI itself has been changed over the years. The thing that I see is that people really have difficulty separating ‘size’ from ‘health’ in these conversations. It doesn’t matter if we have seen a shift… Read more »

If we have seen a shift that is certainly relevant, because it demonstrates beyond a doubt that claims that body type is not malleable are totally false. If body type is not malleable, then there should be no statistically significant change in body weight (unless accompanied by proportionate increase in height). If we have seen statistically significant change, then clearly body type *is* malleable, and on a broad scale. “Discussions of health are based on mechanistic and moralistic judgments when we start talking about health as pertaining only to a particular size of individual.” The body is a machine. That’s… Read more »

Every person, male and female, should train with weights. I, like spidaman, mainly bemoan the popularity of bodybuilding over serious strength and power training (i.e. powerlifting and Olympic lifting), but otherwise think the world would be better if everyone felt the need to be bigger and stronger. Strength training will improve flexibility, muscular strength, ability to generate power, coordination, and balance. It will improve libido, improve metabolism, and give you self-confidence. As long as you have a decent basic grounding in safe form from a legit coach (no, the personal trainer at the local 24hour doesn’t count), there is no… Read more »

There is a difference between ‘strength training’ and ‘bodybuilding’. Strength training is a way to increase stamina and fortitude. Bodybuilding is more focused on sculpted ascetics. As mentioned by a commentator above, not all men who go to the gym will be stronger for their labor jobs. I agree with this. Not all meat heads are as strong as they look.. I prefer ‘strength training’, because it contributes to my labor efficiency and output at my job, which is mostly heavy lifting of expensive furniture. If I had never lifted a weight in my life, I would certainly not be… Read more »

I’ve always been a healthy weight, tall and slender. Most women I’ve dated have always told me that they like big men, or at least men who are bigger than them. Some even told me to put on some weight, although that would put me above my ideal weight and make me less healthy.

I would actually problematize the idea of an ‘ideal weight’ given that ideal weights are actually based on research that was greatly flawed, and BMI measures (which are problematic in themselves). But, that aside, I think that is part of the problem, that the pressure is not only from idealized images and from other men, but also from women to become bigger, bulkier, and more muscular. I’ve dated several ‘scrawny’ (for lack of a better term) guys, and it never once occurred to me to ask them to be something that they were not, or to suggest that they needed… Read more »

@Jasmine: “never once occurred to me to ask them to be something that they were not” I applaud your attitude. But I’m afraid you’re more the exception than the rule. Your attitude sounds “healthy”, i.e. from a self-assured person, someone feeling good with herself. OTOH, most people dislike themselves, hence they “project” their need to be “better” onto their partners. Something unconscious like “If you would be so and so, by my side, then I would look – and feel – better”. Not by chance, the most “hungry for handsome men” women I met, were quite unattractive: having an handsome… Read more »

I would agree that I am an exception. And that is why I actively work at breaking down these types of ideas, in the hopes that perhaps I can inspire others to think differently as well. Because I don’t think anybody should be made to feel that their body is somehow not good enough. I’m not sure that I agree that being dissatisfied with one’s look leads to an increased desire for a more attractive partner. But that’s just not been my experience or observation. At the same time though, there may be something to what you’re saying. I’m very… Read more »

@Jasmine: “I’m not sure that I agree that being dissatisfied with one’s look leads to an increased desire for a more attractive partner.” It doesn’t always work that way: sometime it does, and usually that happens with people in denial about themselves. @Jasmine: “And perhaps this ability to love myself stems from…” I think that, when we love and accept ourselves (like you do), we are much more appreciative and accepting towards others. We don’t feel the need to criticize anymore. More often than not, criticizing is – again – a projection of own unhappiness/discomfort. That’s akin to say “Beauty… Read more »

“I think that, when we love and accept ourselves (like you do), we are much more appreciative and accepting towards others.” Yes!! I think that statement is pretty accurate, and representative of my own experience. This is why I open up these conversations with people about body image as often as possible, in the hopes of providing individuals a new way of thinking about their bodies, and providing them a lens through which to critique the media images that tell us all that our bodies are all wrong, in need of makeup, diet pills, and gym memberships. Perhaps if self-love… Read more »

The reality is that for many women they want a male that is big enough to make them feel safe. And usually taller. For us males that inherited ab fat it is a struggle to get to muscular health. We don’t like looking 6 mos pregnant!

I’m not sure about an ideal weight, but if you’re thinking along terms of utility, there is a concept among boxers of an ideal fighting weight. The concept is best illustrated by the career of Manny Pacquiao. He started out boxing at just over 100 pounds. As he gained weight and strength he actually got faster. This was due to having been undernourished. He started to progress to increasingly higher weight classes winning 8 titles, but most people believe that he’s done changing weight classes, because now he has gone past his ideal fighting weight and is getting slower if… Read more »

That is actually a really wonderful point – DO listen to your body. i threw out the scales years ago. I haven’t known my weight in years, because it is really irrelevant. Instead, I listen to my body. How I feel is irrespective of a number on a scale. I think this is often a much healthier approach to health than the obsession with a number on a scale.

I understand that your main concern for men is the health effects of exercise and diet. I know from experience that the stuff I was taking made me hyper aggressive. I didn’t feel punches. I should have known something was wrong when I could walk out in the dead of winter in a spring jacket and didn’t feel the cold. I do wonder though if part of the concern is a fear of male sexuality. I’ve always wondered why as I gain closeness with a female friend in a platonic relationship, I have less of a desire to see her… Read more »

I see where you’re coming from, but I’m not saying that muscularity is either bad nor good. I don’t fear men the way most women are taught to. Sure, I occasionally get uncomfortable in situations in which males are persistently pursuing me, or if I happen to get a weird vibe off of a man I don’t know, but I don’t fear all men, and I don’t fear male sexuality – probably because I don’t believe the culturally pervasive myth of male sexuality as being always on the ready, insatiable, and uncontrollable. I’m not sure where this question stems from,… Read more »

Mt initial reaction is that anything done to extremes is dangerous. As I thought about it, I didn’t see anything inherently wrong with getting bigger except for the eating disorder part or the taking of dangerous dietary supplements. In the old days it was a candy bar and glass of milk. The candy bar was to carb load prior to exercise. The milk was the protein used to rebuild muscle after the work out. In the old days we also understood the difference between size and definition. I was always taught that if you wanted to build size, you lifted… Read more »

My concern stems less from the actual size a person attains and more from when it becomes an unhealthy pursuit – both psychological and physical. So, given that I study Psychology, I’m coming from a place of internalizing body ideals that lead to an unhealthy body image and, consequently, to people pursuing an ideal image through means that are dangerous.

I’m still not sure how virility or male sexuality plays into your question, though?

I know you’re a feminist. I looked at feminism before deciding that I was an MRA. I learned a lot from feminists, but I also developed a mistrust of feminists especially when they advocate for men in relation to women’s issues. It was probably silly, but when I read that it was a “systematic attack on body image in females and males”, it trigger my what’s the real purpose suspicion. The new FBI rape definition in the US was lauded by feminists as the first time men will be recognized as rape victims. Feminists (at least the organizations pushing for… Read more »

Actually, I wrote an article as soon as the new definition came out about exactly how it ignored men as victims of women in sexual assault. And about how it was an improvement, but not enough! And I think it’s great that you have become aware of your behaviour. I don’t spend a lot of time being afraid of men. And it doesn’t make much difference if men are big or small to me. However, street harassment DOES increase my discomfort (only because I’ve experienced some very scary situations… again, size of the man doesn’t play into this). I must… Read more »

It’s also very important that someone asks themselves about their lifting goals. Getting stronger and getting bigger are two different things. Rep ranges stimulate the body differently, and muscles have different muscle fiber compositions. Form also changes stimulus as well.

I agree with you, Valter. I actually had to pare down this piece, so I did mention originally that I don’t think it’s the whole picture. His muscles are mostly a result of his job, but he does enjoy working out… And the consequent increased strength that results. So utility may not be the whole picture, but I do see how it contributes to his desire for muscularity.

For me, it was first utility. I wanted to kick box and the muscle mass allowed me to absorb strikes and delivery them. Because my friends joined the dojang when I did, the weight training and muscular development became just another competition. At some point, I started liking the way I looked and worked out for me. I would measure my muscles not just chart the amount of weight, sets and reps I was doing for each exercise. I don’t remember ever considering or caring whether women would like it, but either they appreciated it or they were attracted to… Read more »

Thank you for your comment, and for your personal anecdote! I am certainly not suggesting that the desire for muscularity is a solely intra-male issue. I did briefly mention attractiveness as one of the motivating factors. It is also why I mention media representations – because they impact not only what we think we should aspire to look like, but also what we think we should be attracted to. I appreciate a wide variety of male physiques. However, as with many other things, I may be an outlier in this, as I don’t permit culture to influence what I find… Read more »

Dear Jasmine, I am delighted to see that you´ve taken up this matter as it is still underpresented, particularly in female discourse. As a man who is hitting the gym three times a week and who has been struggling with his body for 25 years now, I know that there is one particular reason why men work out more. The reason is that women want and desire muscular bodies – even if they do not say it. Of course, they do not want Ronny Coleman-like guys. But the problem is that many, many women do not understand how hard it… Read more »

That’s only initial attraction. Trust me, if you know how to talk with women (I don’t so don’t bother asking, but I’ve seen multiple examples of it), you don’t need to be the best built or greatest looking guy in the world. I’ve been hit on because I wore my taekwondo jacket, the bad boy syndrome. I’ve also had a girl tell me she was attracted to me, which I would later find out was because she thought that I was attracted to her (I think she was between boyfriends and just liked the idea of having a man). What… Read more »

I see! I lift weights but don’t know the technical language, so I thought you were encouraging people to disregard their back health. I just wish we could all be happy in the bodies we’re born in, rather than always feeling the need to be bigger (or smaller, for most women). Me, I like where I’m at, and I exercise only for psychological and health purposes, and not in an attempt to tailor my body to any specific ideal.

It was more of a thing to people who scare themselves from the lift (these same people don’t mind destroying their shoulders for more benching). I don’t think “I will hurt my back” is a good excuse to not do the lift (for those who don’t have back problems yet from desk work). Stretch your hamstrings and hip flexors and activate your glutes and thoracic spine and you will be fine (throw some soft tissue work in as well)

I don’t know what it is either, I care more about being strong then being big (though I do need to get bigger and then cut the fat). It feels really good to me, I remember once I lifted and carried my friend who probably weighed about 140-150 lbs and thinking “wow this woman is very light” (her breasts and butt are huge, her hips are pretty wide), then thinking “maybe it’s more that I am strong”. Still I want to get stronger (I am stronger than I was then). Ass to ground squats of 315 lbs is real cool,… Read more »

On the other hand, there was a guy in high school who took a lot of ridicule because he could only bench the bar and one ten pound weight on each end. They might be beginners who are afraid that other guys will laugh at them.

I think this is a serious issue where gender policing comes in. Lifting weights is considered masculine; having defined musculature has become almost an imperative in being considered a ‘real man’. So when some young men don’t live up to this standard, it is painful, and a potential site for being bullied or demeaned for not living up to the ideas of masculinity that abound. What often isn’t recognized in discourses of masculinity is that not all men are naturally muscular; bodies come in all shapes and sizes, and they vary tremendously. Male bodies that don’t live up to the… Read more »

Both men and women should have fit, healthy, muscular bodies. I’m not into bashing or humiliating people who don’t have them, but I’m also not going to tell someone they’re just as useful to society if they refuse to be fit, or that they have a different, equally wonderful body type, or whatever. There’s a difference between choosing not to attack people for making a different life choice which happens to be foolish or unhealthy, and telling them that choice is awesome and equally healthful. It’s not. We can choose not to be jerks without endorsing people’s self-destructive behavior.