But Wait, There’s More! Obama To Add Second VP

David Axelrod, campaign strategist for the President’s re-election committee, met briefly with reporters this afternoon outside the Hercules Industries Battery and Wind Turbine manufacturing facility in Decatur where he was touring with the President.

“President Obama sees this as a balanced, innovative, and pragmatic solution to the challenges that face the US today,” Axelrod told reporters. “By adding a second Vice President to assist the President and Vice President Biden in meeting the urgent demands that face the country today, we are, in effect increasing the size of the core Executive team by 50%. We see this move as an enabler to more effective management and a real time saver for the President.”

Axelrod went on to say, “As the President’s re-election campaign kicks into high gear, consuming more and more of the President’s time, the two VP’s will pick up a lot of the day-to-day responsibilities. For example, Vice President Biden is already managing affairs in the middle east for the President and he has taken the lead role in negotiating the recent debt and deficit proposals with Congress.”

“We see the new guy, or who knows,” Axelrod said with a slight smile, “maybe we’ll have a woman in the role this time. But we see this new person as someone who can take on many of the more substantive functional and tactical activities that currently fall squarely on the President’s shoulders.”

When asked by reporters if the President had a short list of candidates he was considering for the post, Axelrod would only comment that, “The President has not shared that with me but, I am sure he does have some ideas.”

Reporters pressed Axelrod by asking if there was any truth to the rumor that the President was playing golf later in the day with Jaime Dimon, CEO of JP Morgan Chase, and inquiring if Dimon might not be a candidate.

“Jaime’s a good man and, the President feels that we do have some repair work to do with big business. But I really don’t have any idea if he is a candidate for the position or not.”

Reporters from Dreadmonger inquired if the creation of a second position of Vice President was strictly legal under the Constitution.

Axelrod responded by saying, “Well, we haven’t really got all the answers there yet. But if there is some kind of a clause or something in the Constitution that specifically says you can only have one Vice President, we thought we would just change the new name to Viceroy, or Assistant VP, you know, something like that. How does Vice Chancellor sound to you?”

Axelrod ended the meeting with reporters saying, “Gotta run now, guys. The President has a golf game to get to and he’s flying out early tomorrow morning for 10 well-deserved days off in Martha’s Vineyard with Michelle and the kids. We’ll keep you posted as this idea gets fleshed out.”