Johanna Garth is the author of The Persephone Campbell Series; a modern take on the myth of Hades and Persephone. Johanna lives in McLean, Virginia with her husband and two children.

Monday, August 12, 2013

Dialogus Interruptus

Here's the thing...I love writing dialogue.

Here's the other thing...I have an equal love for eavesdropping on anything remotely resembling good dialogue.

It's a bad, bad habit. When teenage couples come into Starbucks, sit one table away and start talking about how they're using the rythym method, I shouldn't listen! I really shouldn't and yet I do.

There are conversations I tune out with ease. Neverending discussions of physical ailments are like the sound of a vaccuum cleaner when I'm writing. Pleasant white noise. Easily filterable.

Same goes for the quasi business meetings. However, I'm a sucker for job interviews. Do you know how many people interview potential employees at coffee shops? I do!! There are days when it's all I can do not to intercede. NOOOO. Don't give the 'I'm good with people answer'!

But I don't. I restrain myself. Or at least I did until last week.

We live in inner city Portland which means it's very walkable. As a result, every so often people walk through the neighborhood at odd hours of the night. Like 3:00 AM, for example.

The other night I was roused from a dead sleep by loud voices floating up to my second floor window which was thrown open wide to let in the night air. I'm not entirely sure why this group of boys/men, or as I started thinking of them, boys to men, decided to pause on the sidewalk below my bedroom window, but they did.

The dialogue that follows is a direct transcript of their conversation except the words 'stuff' and 'get with' are variations on the raunchier four letter words that were actually used.

"Dude, you gotta disappear for a while and be all, like mysterious and stuff. That's how you handle Xena."

"Yeah, just don't talk to her for a while and then she'll be so ready to get with you. She'll want it bad, bro."

(general laughter at this witticism)
"So you walk in and Xena's all like let's go and then you get with her and then you, like, don't talk to her for a week and then she's totally ready to get with you, like right after you text her."

"Dude, Xena's so hot! You gotta lock that stuff down."

What had been building as slow amusement turned into a sudden snort of laughter. Honestly, I just couldn't help myself. My disembodied giggling from on high put the boys to men on red alert.

Despite the foolproof plan they were crafting to 'get with' Xena, their brand of machismo apparently didn't extend to bravery in the face of female laughter. They took off at a dead run.

My advice to Xena...all you have to do is laugh.

My advice to me....control the giggles because that was some great 3:00 AM boys to men dialogue that I scared away.

And that, my friends, is one more reason I know I'm a writer. While some people might seethe about interrupted sleep, I seethe about dialogus interruptus.

16 comments:

This same thing happened to us on vacation last week. Teen boys in the hot tub outside our vacation condo late at night talking trash about hooking up with girls. Not cool especially since I have young kids that could hear them. My husband basically belted out..."Boys, I don't want to hear that crap." They dove under the water for a minute and then resurfaced trying to figure out where the voice came from. I swear they thought it was some form of divinity and booked it out of there. Too funny. ;)

Hahaha! Funny post! And it's interesting to learn that some guys do play hard to get; I'd like to show this post to all the guys who wrote in their profiles that they want a girl who doesn't play games. Sometimes I hear my students chatting with each other before class starts. I don't mean to eavesdrop, but I can't help it; I don't think they're even fully aware that I can hear them.

Speaking of dialogue, I work in a small, quiet office and when people are on the phone, everyone can hear their conversation. Ya'd think this would make these people lower their voices while on the phone with loved ones, friends, etc....but nope. They go on talking loud as anything, basically forcing their dialogue onto others.lol about those guys...I'd be laughing if I heard that conversation too.

*dies* Oh, this is beautiful. When we were in Portland my husband used to just go outside and stand with these guys. Didn't happen often, but they seemed to find it really disconcerting to find a man just standing there with them.

What a great topic...I do the same thing in public, and I REALLY don't want to. I have a job where hearing what is going on around me even while typing on my own keyboard is part of the requirement. I have to be ready to jump in at a mis-speak or correct a call after the agent gets off the phone. I am auto-tuned to everything in ear shot and that's six desks within 30 feet! My senior agent tells all new trainees I will hear everything they say. IT's true.

However it is not a skill easily turned off. Sitting at a restaurant or bar or Starbucks I can carry on a conversation and pay attention to all the ones around me. Some of it is hilarious. My wife still forgets I do it and when I mention something afterwards she has no idea what I'm talking about even though she was as close as I to the action.