The AFC South as 2010 World Cup's Group of Death: Who Matches the Jags?

Every four years, Americans' annual summer-long gridiron football withdrawal is relieved (for those open-minded among us) by the World Cup—association football's biggest event, something like the love child of the Super Bowl and the Olympics.

Before its final tournament, the Cup starts with a group stage which, despite the whole "can't-use-your-hands" thing, bears a striking resemblance to the NFL and its divisional structure:

Inevitably, one or two of those groups bundles three or four of the world's best teams together, pitting them against one another for two spots in the knockout stage. These are called, (melo)dramatically, "groups of death."

The AFC South, to its credit, has a lot in common with Group G, the 2010 World Cup's consensus group of death which starts play Tuesday. Aside from the almost inevitable short-changing of a strong third place team, the four in each make interesting parallels across the two kinds of football.

Indianapolis Colts: Brazil—Kaka is Brazilians' Peyton Manning

Oh, and Kaka and Peyton Manning both cost their owners several boatloads of money. Up for a contract extension, Manning figures to hit his boss, Colts owner Bill Polian, up for a cool $20 million salary, with $50 million up front as a signing bonus.

Meanwhile, Spanish soccer powerhouse Real Madrid recently forked over around $94 million for the right to swipe Kaka from Italian club A.C. Milan, then negotiated to pay him $12.7 million per year.

Also, Indianapolis and Brazil's high-powered offenses would be completely dysfunctional without them.

In the same way that Manning distributes the ball to the Colts' many capable pass-catchers, Kaka is the central cog for his national team in his role as an attacking midfielder.

And, in the same way that Brazil leads the Group G pack despite a few warts, Indianapolis' disheartened 2009 runners-up should still be considered the odds-on favorite to win the AFC South.

It's a different look, but Portugal's talismanic forward and the Titans' All-Pro running back have the same basic talent: ungodly game speed.

Johnson runs as though his trademark dreadlocks were on fire, darting through holes between defenders and daring them to catch him after.

Ronaldo, similarly, flies past opponents with the ball seemingly strapped to his sprinting feet, timing his steps and strikes so perfectly that his dribbling seems as effortless as simple running.

In spite of these superstars, however, both Portugal and Tennessee have struggled to come out on top in the playoffs.

Quadrennial contenders, the Portuguese have never finished better than third (1966) in a World Cup. Their fourth-place campaign in the 2006 tournament is cause for optimism, but they have yet to prove capable of putting a team together that can effectively ride Ronaldo's pace.

The Titans, similarly, have come up agonizingly short in recent strong seasons, including a Super Bowl loss in 2000 and a divisional playoff exit in 2008 as the AFC's top seed.

Johnson's 2,509 yards from scrimmage last year were as impressive as Ronaldo's 31 goals in 34 games for elite English club Manchester United in 2007—league records, both—but these teams will need more than awesome individual efforts to rise above their also-ran histories.

One is a West African coastal nation of 20 million people—only 2 million more than the state of Florida. The other is a 2002 expansion team, rebuilt over the past four years under head coach Gary Kubiak after stumbling out of the gates.

Apples and oranges, to be sure. Still, Cote d'Ivoire and the Houston Texans have one abundant resource in common: super-talented players.

In round-ball football, Ivory Coast stars such as Didier Drogba, Salomon Kalou, and brothers Yaya and Kalou Toure form the backbone of elite clubs in top-tier leagues such as Chelsea, Manchester City, and Barcelona. On paper, the Elephants are more than capable on the attack and in defense.

On the gridiron, the Texans can match them all-star for all-star. Wide receiver Andre Johnson is arguably the NFL's best at his position. Running back Steve Slaton stormed onto the professional scene as a rookie fantasy football standout in 2008.

Quarterback Matt Schaub, like Drogba, is an All-Pro talent whose still-young career has been hamstrung by nagging injury concerns.

For all the promise these teams have shown in the build-up to their respective competitions, though, neither has broken into the playoffs, to the disappointment of their rabid, hopeful fan bases.

(Cote d'Ivoire's more so than Houston's, as a plea by Drogba for peace in 2006 resulted in a ceasefire between warring factions in his country's civil war. Never underestimate the power of football, whichever kind.)

Jacksonville Jaguars: North Korea? Oddly True—and That's a Good Thing!

To be clear, there are no parallels between Jacksonville general manager Gene Smith and entrenched North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il, nor between Jong-Il and head coach Jack Del Rio.

Neither have the Jaguars attempted to smuggle a player onto their roster under a different position, as the North Koreans did by listing forward Kim Myong-won as a goalkeeper. (He'll only be allowed to play as a goalie, according to FIFA.)

Unless, of course, you count Tim Couch's brief attempt to pass for an NFL quarterback last season.

But Jacksonville fans might sympathize with soccer supporters in Pyongyang, the North Korean capital. Both groups have been reduced to pirating out-of-market TV broadcasts to see their home team, with South Korean broadcaster SBS recently accusing the Democratic People's Republic of "hacking."

The North Korean players' indefatigable self-confidence, too, rings a bell. Running back Maurice Jones-Drew insisted, as a guest pollster last season for a power poll by ESPN.com's Paul Kuharsky, that the inexperienced Jaguars should be considered a Super Bowl contender.

Recently, North Korean forward Jong Tae-Se told reporters that he will "score one goal per game" and that, "In our group, it will be Brazil and North Korea who will advance."

Such self-belief, even in the face of overwhelming off-the-cuff public skepticism, is what drove Gene Smith to bold decisions such as drafting defensive lineman Tyson Alualu tenth overall. Whatever their vast differences otherwise, Jacksonville and North Korea have that much in common.

Of course, neither the Jaguars nor the North Koreans are odds-on favorites to emerge ahead of their respective rivals—but, in both the NFL and the World Cup, anything can happen.