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Monday, November 11, 2013

Take Two

I threw open the door to Exam Room 316. The demon named Reuttiger, seated behind a
desk, looked up in surprise. The
trembling 40-year-old man sitting in the comically tiny chair in front of him,
turned around to stare at me in horror.

I was the devil, sure, but I looked way more pissed than
usual. My presence was probably
significantly more imposing than usual, too.
I enjoyed the fear in his eyes.
It made me feel like I was really growing into my role as the King of
Hell.

“Did you murder your whole family?” I barked at the man.

“Well,” he stammered pitifully. “I mean, I wouldn’t really say that I murdered them, per se…”

“He did,” Reuttiger clarified. “Yeah, he totally did.”

“Cool,” I said. So I
stabbed him in the heart, stepped outside, and closed the door to block out his
agonized screams.

Just then, one of the sexy demon-nurses who leads the souls
from the waiting room to their exam rooms walked past with human nurse I’d
stabbed earlier in tow.

“’Scuse me,” I murmured at the woman. “Real quick, here, lemme just—” and I jabbed
her in the side with my knife.

“Dammit!” she shrieked, clutching her bleeding flank. “Again!?”

“The perfect timing couldn’t be ignored,” I explained. The demon-nurse chuckled. “Gotta go!” I said and teleported away. I quickly performed my trick over the lake of
fire a second time and then returned to the lake by the campground. Seconds later, I was back in the battlefield,
choosing my next test subject.