Come and listen to a story about veep named Dick Went out shooting quail, but he shot himself a hick, Had a few drinks, thought he’d have himself some fun Turned to left and he shot the wrong one

In the face, close range, ow that hurts.

Well the security said, Dick get away from here, Get back to the lodge and have yourself a beer We’ll clean up like we did with Valerie Plame The victim can’t talk, so he’ll be the one to blame

Later, that is. In the morning. Have another drink.

Well the press they started to make a mighty fussThe White House said, don’t blame it all on us Talk to the veep or Mary Matalin Set it up with Hume, he’ll help us with the spin

Softball questions. No follow-up. Fake journalist

Well Dick went to Brit and he told a big lieSaid he was sober and he hopes the guy don’t dieThen went back to his bubble, kept from out of our viewWith a message for David Gregory: Hey Dave, fuck you.

Now the moral of our story is that Dick can do no wrongFighting for America, got to keep the country strongGonna keep us out of wars so we don’t get stuckAnd if you hunt with Dick Cheney, then you better learn to duck.