Dwight recently left Los Angeles and the loving embrace of Ice Cube for Texas, but for a while there it wasn’t clear where in Texas he intended to land. Mavs owner/Shark Tanker Mark Cuban posted the pitch video he had made up for Howard on his website on Saturday, and oh man is it cheesy and wonderful.

It includes:

– Way, way too many Superman references
– Crude animation of Dwight Howard’s parents
– Dwight being announced as THE MOST DOMINANT CENTER OF ALL TIME
– The announcement of a Dallas Mavericks dynasty, featuring 2014 and 2015 NBA Championship wins
– A Dirk Nowitzki cameo, because of course
– Dwight being inducted into the NBA Hall of Fame
– GLOBAL DOMINATION for some reason!

All in the style of a hastily thrown-together athlete comic book you’d buy five years later in the books section of a dollar store.

I like to think the Rockets pitch video was just a picture of Jeremy Lin with “Jeremy Lin?” under it, and that it worked.