Saturday

Aug 29, 2015 at 10:00 AM

Men's workshop on sexual health, porn addiction, set for Sept. 12.

When his name turned up on an adultery website that was hacked, Joshua Duggar, eldest son of the famously religious family from “19 Kids & Counting,” confessed to cheating on his wife and being hooked on pornography.

But Duggar, who has since checked into a rehab facility, isn’t alone. Two experts on the issue say sexual infidelity and pornography addiction among men have reached epidemic proportions.

On Sept. 12, counselor Rick McQuiston will host a preventative program for men, “The Fight of Your Life: Integrity, Accountability, Purpose,” from 8:30 a.m. to 1:15 p.m. at First Christian Church at 6900 Market Ave. N.

“This is an issue that affects all men,” McQuiston said. “We’re not saying all men have this problem. What we’re saying is, all men know what these kinds of temptations can be. We want men to know how to address it for the benefit of society, their families, and the community.”

Mark Laaser, president and director of the Faithful & True treatment center in Eden Prairie, Minnesota, will facilitate. One of the country’s leading Christian authorities on sexual health and addiction, Laaser created “Fight for Your Life” as a proactive measure to give men the tools to deal with the temptations of what he sees as a hypersexual culture, and to help those who wish to practice fidelity.

“These issues of fidelity are skyrocketing,” Laaser said. “The breakdown of families and relationships are profound. The dangers of escalating immorality are definitely in our culture. They’ve been a called tsunami. It’s very destructive.”

Laaser said pornography addiction, very often a factor in infidelity, has skyrocketed.

“The major escalator has been the Internet,” he said. “I’m not an Internet basher, but it’s provided the means for people to access pornographic material, and also connections for infidelity in ways we have not ever culturally seen before. The cell phone is the No. 1 source for accessing it. The Internet has been called the crack cocaine of sexual addiction.”

COMMUNITY AND CONNECTION

A clinical counselor at Gentle Shepherd Counseling Center in North Canton, McQuiston said he’s seeing more men struggling with porn addiction and emotional dysfunction.

“My practice, in the last seven or eight years, has demanded I have an adequate way to help address this issue,” he said. “The need is high in that we live in an overly sexualized world. We really don’t know how to address closeness and true intimacy in healthy ways. There are voids that seem to be present in men’s lives, whether its related to woundedness growing up, parenting issues, or other things we call ‘father wounds.’

McQuiston said pornography addicts really are searching to connect with another person, but with options like free, online pornography, it’s become too easy.

“It promises big in terms of connection and intimacy, but falls short in that there’s no real connection that’s made,” he said. “It wounds the men in that they’re seeking something that’s false to satisfy their need in being close. There’s a message out there that (men) can take care of things ourselves. In reality, we’re created to be relational.”

Laaser agrees, adding, “A part of problem is, on the whole, people are bored. On a deeper emotional and spiritual level, they’re looking for community and connections.”

Laaser said there aren’t a definitive set of statistics on pornography addiction because it’s a “shame-based” topic, and people tend not to be truthful about their use.

“Probably two-thirds to three-fourths of men regularly view pornography, and about a third of women,” he said.

McQuiston said many of his clients come for help after being discovered by a spouse, but they also include men “who also genuinely admit to struggling with this from adolescence, and not knowing how to address it.”

Both men said studies suggest that pornography addiction, like any other kind, can change brain chemistry.

“The brain responds to pornography just as it does to crack cocaine,” McQuiston said. “Seeing porn doesn’t mean instant addiction, but it can lead to an addictive process.”

GOD’S DESIGN

Because children often are exposed to sexual imagery through the Internet, both McQuiston and Laaser recommend that parents talk to their kids about sex.

“The advice I would offer parents is, make these kinds of things conversational from early on; age-appropriate, of course,” McQuiston said. “From being a father, this is the way I’ve handled things; just having healthy conversations about what is God’s design for sexuality.”

“The average 5-year-old can access the Internet,” Laaser said “It becomes really vital for parents to have conversations with children at a much-younger age that we thought necessary. We must teach kids a model of healthy sex, rather than just telling them not to.”

Laaser said it’s not uncommon among highly religious people to struggle with sex because they tend to view life rigidly.

“Often, it’s a symptom that someone is struggling against the very issues they’re trying to protect themselves against,” he said. “It becomes forbidden fruit, very seductive and attractive.”

He added that many parents are hesitant to talk about sex because of their own hurts.

“They’re worried people will think badly of them,” he said. “Shame makes people hesitate. God call us out to address things. In the Garden of Eden, when Adam and Eve sinned, the first thing they did was hide themselves. But the first thing God said is ‘Where are you?’ ”

The deadline to register for the program is Sept. 7. Ages 16 and older are recommended. Visit www.fightofyourlifestark.com.

Did you know:

• More than 70 percent of young men 18 to 34, and 20 percent of young women, visit an online pornography website at least once a week.

• The pornography industry is a worldwide, $4.9 billion annual business, with $2.8 billion in revenue coming from the U.S.; however, 85 percent of pornography is viewed online, for free.

• One in eight of all online searches are for erotic content; 12 percent, or 24.6 million sites, are pornographic.

• Political liberals are 19 percent more likely to view pornography than conservatives.

• Regular church attendees are 26 percent less likely to look at porn than non-attendees, but self-described “fundamentalists” are 91 percent more likely to look at porn.

Sources: CovenantEyes.org; SafeFamilies.org; Guystuffcounseling.org

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