Sunday, August 15, 2010

What will happen when the heart bleeds for 64th years???

Like any human who owns a heart to feel I simply want to ask a simple question what will happen when the heart bleeds for 64th year??

Today is 64th Independence Day of India. The blue sky of political city Delhi is coloured with the triclour kites & flags. The kids are playing cricket on the empty road and every person is busy celebrating the 64th year of freedom. But I have no mood to celebrate but I have not still got the freedom included in every para of the constitution. I'm still a foriegner even being in my own country. I'm still a refugee run from home to escape from the stray bullets and granades. No life has a natural death in my home. Someday even I will also end my life in the hands of those stray bullets fying indiscreminately in the free air. They have no caste, sex, race and colour. They are unisex liberal killers.

Just reading the Hindu Newspaper. Every passing PM and the President give their speech to its people and it always has one common appeal for Kashmir and NE. How sad if you are living like this and for how long we will live like this. Since then I'm born to the Independent India we have never be part of the celebration. Whether I like it or dislike it I can never deny I'm an India. Whether I'm against the politicians and the people who are racist against my community we have never forgot to cheer for India when they are playing cricket against Pakistan. Whether we are called chiky or nepali we couldn't stop our tears when the Indian armies are killed in the Kargil War. When I isten to Lata Mangesker's song "mere waton ke logo" and AR Rahman's "Maa tujhe salam", my eyes become wet.

How sad again about these feeling which has not been recognised and disrespected for so many years.
Without knowing the meaning in my grandfather who was my teacher. But I'm sad about my grandfather who taught me this song but he have not seen that his childrens are not treated not so well by the Independent Bharat.

Good to hear the PM offering to the terrorist of NE and Kashmir to come to the dialogue table. We have only one dream to feel free from our bleeding heart and celebrate the true celebration of the Independence Day.

When you have seen your parents in home are living under the sky of bullets and their life is at stake how could you ask me to sit in peace and celebrate the 64th year of Independence. Is the Independence only destined for the people lives in the mainland then . Who can celebrate when their gates are shut down by the wires of AFSPA?

The politicians benefits from the bussiness of AFSPA. The millitants enjoy the opportunity to thrash us and cut our throat from survival taking its advantage. The police & army loot us, rape our body and dignity in the name of protecting the state but no one has bother about the people.

The law protects the country from the separatist, the army and the state force execute to suppressed the activism and the activist do good deal with the politicians to gain monetarily and to earn name, fame and position. Today's separatist is future politician, today's student Union leader who is shouting against the state and its policy is tomorrow's Chief Minister. The biggest bussiness in a state protected by AFSPA is you either become a millitant or enter state police, or a student union leader or then you have a bright future.

How sad it is to think about the fact that I'm born to a troumatised state where you have nowhere to land. It really bleeds out heart. This is the same feeling that must be happening to the every person who lives through the pain and anguish of living in Manipur and JK. Have they ever got the opportunity to celebrate the Indenpendence day without facing the genaral strike,Bundh and threat from the terrorist and I still ask the another question ...

Will they get the opportunity to celebrate the Independence Day by forgetting the gunshots, their lost fathers, mother, husband, bothers and sisters in their lifetime?

I'm eager to witness that day before I take my last breathe.
But for me I could never forget the sounds of the raining gunshots in the middle of the nights in my last visit to home. Can anyone stop my brothers from fearing from the sounds of crackers and the deeming sounds of heavy boots heard in the front of our door? What a sad feeling I had when my brothers got scared of the sounds of the crackers and fireworks in a neighbours marraige in Delhi. They thought the gunshots have followed them till here. They thought there is the police have come for a combing operation near our rented room.

So far I have forgotten to remember those gunshots while trying to engage with the struggle to survive as a refugee in the big city. Wish my brothers also learn to erase those erratic sounds from their memory.

But the heart bleeds when you remember your vacated home and your old parents living out there among the millitants, corrupted politicians, the police...