Mother. Atheist. Cynic. And all gluten free!

Tag Archives: pregnancy

Many of my readers will already be aware, but many will not, so here goes:

Evelyn Lily was born on Tuesday 27th September, at 7.28am. She weighed 3.86kg, and was 51.5cm long at birth. Labour was a 6 hour slog.

In a way, going into this, I sort of thought I knew it all – after all, I’d already had one baby. I knew how things were meant to go! But this birth was so utterly different from Elspeth’s. Evelyn was raring to go, she didn’t need to be forcibly pulled out like her big sister! And so, no epidural – I actually felt it this time. I won’t go into detail, but it was a trifle bizarre!

Excessive appreciation goes out to my parents, who took Elspeth to their house on Friday in preparation for this whole thing. Also Aidan’s parents, who looked after her at our house last night and this morning.

And now the whole family of four is back at home, with all visitors gone. We shall attempt to settle into some sort of routine or rhythm with a two year old and a newborn.

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My due date has come and gone. It’s now too late to be early, or even on time. Evelyn is officially late.

I’ve had a few of the supposed signs that labour is very near… you may wish to stop reading if you are of a queasy disposition…

I’ve had cramps and pain in the groin area. I’ve had the odd isolated strong contraction or Braxton Hicks, and lots of little ones. I’ve passed my mucus plug. The baby is sitting very low, with her head down, in a good position for birthing.

Everything, in short, is ready to go – but she isn’t going!

I’m feeling frustrated and disappointed and bored. Also helpless. Restless, despite my tiredness. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what will help pass the time. I’m a big bundle of meh.

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In the last few weeks my head and body have been playing tricks on me. For a while, recently, I wondered if I had actually missed all the signs of labour and thought I might end up accidentally pushing this baby out while on the toilet or something.

And now I’m having trouble even remembering or grasping that I am actually pregnant. I guess because the way I feel has become normality… but I just can’t wrap my head around it right now. I have to keep reminding myself of ultrasounds and hearing Evelyn’s heartbeat and that one time I was slim.

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Things are dire when throwing up is so common as to go completely unremarked by your significant other. But I guess that’s pregnancy.

We saw a midwife today, another quick and simple routine appointment. Little Evelyn is lying in a perfect birthing position, and everything is fine. I’m good to go, any time now. “Have sex!” the midwife whispered mischievously as we left. “Nipple stimulation!” Why did I have to bring Aidan to this appointment? The midwife agreed, almost as an afterthought, that maybe hot foods could do the trick, so we’re wolfing down a curry tonight for dinner. The other suggestions are unlikely to be followed!

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I was scheduled in for a two-hour breastfeeding class at the hospital this morning. Despite having been through all this before, I thought it would be a good idea to go along and get a bit of a refresher or reminder.

However, my body hates me. The hot/dizzy/blurry vision episodes struck again! It seems to be a recurring theme when it comes to me and hospital classes; I used to get the same thing at almost every ante-natal class when I was pregnant with Elspeth. I don’t really know why; I wasn’t feeling consciously stressed and wasn’t physically active. The room was certainly over-heated, but that alone surely wouldn’t be enough to cause such a reaction. Whatever the reason, it happened, and I had to leave. And to make matters worse, I’d forgotten my phone, so I had to take a bus home instead of just calling Aidan to come and get me.

Since then, I’ve been in a somewhat fragile emotional state. I have been, for most of this pregnancy, very stable and balanced, but occasionally I just have a weepy day or an angry day or a just plain weird day. Today was weepy, tired day. I’ve been feeling slow and heavy and sad for no reason. Thank goodness Aidan had the day off work and could support me and spend a lot of time with Elspeth, giving me a bit of a break.

I’m feeling pretty much the same as I did at this stage of my previous pregnancy. I’ve reached a point where I don’t really remember being slim, where the idea of not being head-butted in the bladder seems weird. This is just how I am, how it seems I’ve always been and always will be. I always throw up in the middle of the night, always get exhausted easily, always take the bus instead of walking places. It has become difficult to imagine myself any other way, either past or future!

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Today is Aidan’s birthday, and he decided that he wanted to go out to a nice cafe for morning coffee. So we went to a shopping centre (it being all rainy and cold), found a nice cafe, and had stuff. Then, of course, since we were out, we had a bit more of a wander and a shop, and then finally decided to do a little bit of grocery shopping.

It was whilst in Coles that embarrassment struck.

After nearly two hours of standing and walking, I was overcome with dizziness and shortness of breath. I had to sit down. No big deal, right? I’m five weeks from my due date, it’s only natural, right?

In the five minutes that I sat in the corner, I had three Coles staff members approach me to ask if I needed assistance. I was informed that their health and safety person knew about me, and to tell them if I needed anything further like first aid treatment or an ambulance. A random shopper (who said she was a midwife) asked if she could do anything for me.

It’s all very nice, very considerate of everyone to try to help.

But it’s so embarrassing!

I knew perfectly well that a little sit-down would see me right, and I told them all that. But still the fuss, the repeated reminders to ask for help, and generally making me feel like a nuisance! Why do these things always happen in public?!