i always feel somewhat amused and ... ironic, maybe?... when people have a particular impression of me that is completely wrong.

Number one: I'm a nice guy, true... and one of the side effects of being a nice guy is that i come off as being "wholesome" or something. not the kind of guy who's particularly.... lustful or sexual or anything.

Sorry folks. 57% pure on the 1000 point purity test, and still looking to lower it. There might be some stuff i haven't done, but i'm a fucking pervert like everyone else. a nice pervert, but a pervert nonetheless. kinky too.

Number two: I talked with Kim Walker for about an hour today about life in general, and somewhere it came out that she thought i seemed like a pretty together, confident, and secure guy.

Sorry, Kim. I've gotten a lot better, but i'm still an incredibly insecure person that's suffered from low self-esteem issues all of my life. Confidence in myself always comes with a grain of salt, i think i suck at everything, etc. etc.

People think they know what i'm all about, and then they find out they're wrong. Then they adjust their thinking and *then* think they know what i'm all about, and then they find out they're wrong again.

Usually it's harmless, but sometimes it'll progress to a point where things just get fucked up. I've had some rare cases where people feel... betrayed to a degree that i'm not the person they thought i was.

i'm not sure if it's something i have the ability to control. It makes me feel like i should maybe be more of an asshole just as an experiment. then i bet i'd get laid. :)