We sat alone on the plush sofa in the living room, I took in his home. The flat was spacious, an open planned one floored flat. It seemed to me that the flat took one whole floor of the building. It was massive. Wooden floors and white walls, white wooden doors, made the place look even bigger. The room had minimal of furniture in it. From a sofa set, which were soft looking and. A wooden table in the centre. A large tv hung on the wall. I imagined what was behind those doors as I scanned the rest of the flat, and my eyes fell on the most stunning kitchen. Which looked as if it had barely been used.My parents may have been happy for us, if he was not Vinnie’s brother. For them, he was not the man they wanted me to be with. Not that I was with him at this time, no matter my feelings for him, I had to keep them at bay.He was staring at me, those eyes I knew so well. That tiny fleck of green in one of them, how I ever thought he was his brother. I was stupid, I knew he was the man I was in love with. Which did not matter, I was not here with him, because I loved him. I was here, because of Annie and our families. We needed some time alone, to decide to find out what we actually were. A family. A whole family?“I wanted to tell you everything, but first I wanted us to be alone. And if I am honest, I only live here Fridays to Sunday, most of the time. I have a house back in our hometown, one I want you to live in.”“You do, you have?”“Yes, look no matter what we do, become, I want you two to move into the house.”“And.”“If we decide that we want to be together, we can live there together.”“This is a lot to take in, a lot, but I cannot take the house, I won’t let them think I only want this because of…”“You thought I was cut off, would be, which I will be, I won’t inherit anything from my family. That is what they mean, the money I made I did that on my own, I know that this would not have been possible if they did not help or give me the money to start with. I paid that back once I made enough to do so, I owe them nothing. What I have is mine.”“How?”“You want the truth?”“I deserve that,” I said. Taking the glass of wine as he handed it to me.“You do, you are right there.”I indicated that he told me the truth.“Fine, when I left you, my family continued to support me,” he began.I frowned.“I invested that money, which I doubled in six months. Another six months after that I doubled it again, which is when and how I got my first business. A year ago, I sold that, paid my parents back and brought the restaurant, which has been the biggest success. I am in the process of opening two more in other areas.”My mouth fell open.“So, you see, I don’t need their money. If my brother knew what my parents did he would not try the old our parents will cut me off thing.”“He wouldn’t?”“No, because they have not given me money in years, unlike him, he still accepts his pay-outs.”“He does?”“Unless he is pretending to be me, that could explain it.”“It could actually, but let’s not talk about this now, right now I need to talk about making up the last four years that I missed of Annie’s life and yours.”“Okay, and how will you do that?”“Well, first of all, the house is yours regardless, I already signed it over to you.”“Why would you do that?”“Because I knew you would not except it.”“Well you are right, I can’t accept it.”He told me I had no choice, because the house is hers, no matter what I said, because it was not all about me, it’s for Annie too. He continued.“Besides the house is not some fancy place like your parents or mine, it’s like where you live now, but…”“Better?”“Yes, I don’t mean that in a bad way or to make you feel…” his words were tumbling as the tears I wanted to stop from falling fell. I knew he had not meant to make me feel that I failed as a parent, but he did. “I am so sorry that I did not mean to make you cry.”“It’s okay, I get it I would want to make the life I had made for her better if I could. It is not like I did not try, I did, I am doing my best.”“Yes, that is in all honestly what it is.”“Okay, I know, its just I have done this all by myself for so long, it is hard to accept help from others.”“I am not just someone else, I am her father, the man who loves you.”“And yes, you are that, but you also walked out on us four years ago.”“How long are you going to keep that over me.”I shrugged, it was hard to say. Our conversation was shortened as Annie awoke and joined us, she was dancing. A dance she knew, she turned to Wyatt.“Toilet?”“Yes, third on the left.”I showed her where to go, the bathroom was as impressive as the rest of the place. I settled her onto the toilet, she was unable to climb on it without her step. Washing her hands was another challenge, the sink too high. I had not had to do the balance on my knee thing is months, since the supermarket bathroom.“All done?”“Yes,” she said.“Good, let’s join, Wyatt.”We re-joined Wyatt and she did what I expected, climbed straight on his lap. She was loving this time with her father. Bonding with him.“I am hungry, how do you fancy ordering takeout, in?” he suggested. “I think we should stay another night too.”“Sure, I could eat again, you too, Annie? Staying the night might be the best option too?”Annie nodded.“Yes, to both,” I said, agreeing with him, not sure where I would sleep. I was sure there was another bed in that flat, if not I would sleep with Annie.“Okay, I will make the call.”

Food eaten, Annie is tired again, she has had the busiest day of her little life. She ate until she could eat no more, her eyes were closing as she tried to eat more. I lifted her and carried her through to the bedroom again and laid her down. She was asleep before I laid her down.I stand to leave, could I go back out there and be alone with him again, we have talked so much about everything. He was right about a lot of things, he had a lot to make up to me, I should let him. If I went back in there I knew I would be tempted to let him be with me, if I stayed in here, and hid was I being stubborn. Of course, I was.I reached the door, as he opened it, asking if all was okay. I nodded, she was asleep, I said.“You want a cup of tea?”“Sure, I would love one,” he said as I closed the door and stepped forward, inches from his chest, our feet almost touched.He leaned towards me, his lips were on mine, before I could stop him, push him away because I should, I did not want to. I could not even stop what was about to happen, no matter what I did, this moment was going to happen.He led me into another room, removed my clothes, not once worrying about him seeing me naked, his clothes were on the floor beside mine. We were in the bed, not thinking, allowing him to do all things I had wanted him to do from the day I saw him again.It was perfect, when he told me the words I knew he meant it, I knew he loved me as much as I loved him. I lay in his arms listening to his heartbeat.

Part 8Alone in my room, door closed, I held my breath, worried any noise I would make moving in my room, would wake Annie. She was not usually a light sleeper, but with Wyatt on the sofa I was worried she knew, sensed he was there.I opened my door and crept to hers, she was sleeping soundly. I inhaled, relieved she was still asleep. I could not sleep. I stood on the landing, unable to move, I could hear Wyatt sleeping soundly down the stairs. I needed to be doing the same, not thinking about him being down there.I hardly slept, every time I thought I was ready to drift off, did something wake me. I managed maybe an hour or two, I had managed on that amount of hours in the past, today would be no different.I made my way down the stairs at six, to find the sofa empty. The blankets neatly folded, a note on the table.

Jessica, I did as you asked, left before our daughter woke. I never should have stayed, it was to soon. I never wanted you to feel uncomfortable in your own home. For that I am sorry. For me it was the hardest thing I have ever done, all I wanted was to come up to your room and be with you. I will call you. I have a few things to sort today, but I want us to meet, I want to meet my daughter, if you will allow me to do that. Love Wyatt.

I stared at the letter, slumped down on the chair, hearing her stir. The letter thrust deep in my dressing gown. She climbed the stairs and stumbled into the room, and laid on my lap. We were both tired, we fell back to sleep.I woke an hour later, Annie stirred.“Are you hungry?” I said.She nodded.“Toast?”“Jam jam,” she said.“Of course, I have jam,” I said. I put the telly on and made four slices of toast, and cut them up and carried them through.“Mummy, where did daddy go?”My mouth fell open, how did she? I sighed heavily. Placing the toast on the table, and sitting down beside her.“How did you know he was here?” I found myself asking.“I saw him?” she said, and bit into her toast.Saw him, how did she see him, I had not slept well and was sure I would have heard her leave her room had she done so. Had he climbed the stairs and our daughter caught him?“Where was daddy when you saw him?”“Asleep on the sofa,” she said, before biting another piece of toast. Between mouthfuls she asked where he was.“He will be back,” I said. How could I explain why he was there? She carried on chewing, staring at me. “It was very late when he came to see you and…”She stood, plodded across the room and handed me my phone.“Daddy,” she said. She was telling me to call him. I took the phone, stood and dialled his number and paced the floor as it rang. He answered after three rings.“Wyatt, is there anyway possible you can come over this morning?”“I can, I will be there in five,” he said, hanging up.Ten minutes later, the sound of someone knocking on the door alerted me that he was there. I made my way to the door, opened it and found Wyatt on the other side.“Hi, thank you for coming,” I said, allowing him to enter. “Annie saw you, on the sofa and…”“Ah, I am so sorry,” he replied.“It’s okay, I just never expected that she would see you, and…”Annie stood and raced to Wyatt. He was led to the sofa and told to sit.“I’ll make some tea, Annie would you like some tea too?” I knew she would she loved tea. I left them alone in the living room, while I stood in the kitchen watching. She did not hesitate to be near here, talk to him, she was soon situated on his knee, talking to him. I could not hear what she was saying, but he was nodding.“Tea, I was not sure if you took sugar or not.”“No, none, thank you,” he said, as I placed the tea down before him. I suggested she sit on the chair and finish her toast, drink her tea.

An hour later, Annie was still talking non-stop to Wyatt. I saw him look my way and smiled, he looked happy, they both looked happy. She had not stopped smiling. Would we have been happy had he stayed, watching them together I knew we would have been.“How about we go for a walk,” I suggested, since it was not a day she went to playgroup. It was cold out, we I realised were still in our bed clothes. I took her to her room, helped pick her clothes, allowed her to dress herself she was getting very good at putting on her own clothes, socks were still a thing she found difficult. I helped her put them on and her shoes, then watched her decent the stairs before heading to my room and throwing on some clothes. Applied a little make-up, and headed down to find them both waiting. I was not sure we should go for a walk close to home, what if his brother was out there, watching us. I suggested we went to the park on the other side of town, Wyatt understood, nodded.“How about I take you to one of my favourite parks, but it means a train ride, or we could go by car, I can drive us?”“We have never been on a train, but not sure I can afford the tickets?” I began, I had spent most of my money already and did not like to say I knew there was no way I could afford to buy a ticket anywhere. He took my hand, and said it was his treat. I did not want him to waste his money, as he was about to be cut off, and that meant he would to have no money of his own.“It’s okay, what my brother said, don’t worry. Let us have this one day, we need it.”He was right, I agreed, and as he paid for our tickets, we waited for the train, boarded and found we were in first class. Annie was excited, insisted she sat on her father’s lap.It was my first train ride since I was a child, we never took trains, it was not needed. My family would hire a car. It was amazing, the feeling of it all, we were alone in the car, we had it all to ourselves, Annie made noises ohhing and arhing as she stared out the window. The first hour she continued to stay excited. Where were we going? I wondered.Annie fell asleep, we laid her across a double chair, laid a coat over her. Wyatt sat beside me.“Thanks for letting me meet her. Today means so much to me.”“I wanted you to, I never should have kept you away,” I said, taking his hand and entwining our fingers, a horrible thought crossed my mind, was he Wyatt. Should I be able to tell the difference by now?“Jessica, I know that look, I promise you I am me, how can I prove it.”I had never kissed Vinnie, or had I? Dare I ask that question?“There is one way,” I said.“And yet you still don’t know do you?”“No, I am sorry, its hard, when you told me the story about how this all started. How I am meant to know which one of you I was with. I want to believe what you told me, I do. There has to be something different about you.”“I don’t know how to prove it to you, Jessica, but I will do what I can to do it.”“I would love that,” I said, holding his hand tighter, squeezing it. He took it as a sign and leaned in, laid his lips on mine. It was a brief and tender, but I admit it was familiar. He was Wyatt. I was sure of it.“Now do you believe me?”I had to admit yes, I did.“Well, I hope I can keep making you realise I am me and I love you.”“Promise?” I found myself saying.“Yes.”I laid my head on his shoulder for the remainder of the trip.We arrived at our destination, a total of three hours on a train. He took Annie’s hand and led her towards the bustling town. He quickly took mine too.“Where are we going?”“Its almost lunch time, lets eat first, I am starving.”“Me too,” Annie said, “Starving,” she said mimicking Wyatt.“Where shall we go?” I said, I had not been to London in a long time. Places we had eaten, may no longer be there. London was always changing.“I was thinking we could eat at one of my favourite places on Trafalgar Road.”“Okay,” I replied.“It’s not far, this way.”I followed him, not sure what kind of place I was expecting, it seemed it was perfect. A mix of foods were available. We ordered, the drinks arrived twenty minutes.“This place, its very nice, how did you find it?” I asked.“I have been eating here for a while now,” he said.“You have?”“Mr Wyatt…” she began. “We thought you may prefer a private table?”“Here is just fine, thank you, now if you do not mind, bring our food when it is ready.”“Yes, sir.”“How often do you come here?” I asked.“I should explain, but not here, first we eat,” I agreed.The food was amazing, I had to admit, so much so, we cleared our plates. Washed it down with drinks before he paid and we were soon on the street. It was not until then I realised something about the place, the name, it looked familiar. I dismissed it and sighed, following them as they walked before me. Annie was so excited took everything in her stride, she was asking questions. The walk we went on was not just any old walk, he took us to a park, where we fed the ducks. We walked and walked, my feet were killing me.“Can we sit please, I…”“Sorry, let us go somewhere to rest up. I think Annie is tired too.”I looked at my daughter and agreed as he led us to a building. I turned to look at him.“Where are you taking us?”“To a flat that I own.”“You live here?”“Well yes, I do, but I don’t live here every day of the week, I also have a house in our home town, not that my family know. There is a lot they do not know.”“So, it seems,” I said as he led me inside, my mouth fell open.“I don’t understand, you would have stayed at mine, when you have this and I can only assume the house is just as impressive.”“It might be,” he said.“Is there somewhere where Annie can sleep?”“Sure, come this way,” he led us up a flight of stairs, into a room and I settled her into the bed, she was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. The room was twice the size of the downstairs of our house.“Tea?” he asked, as he led me into the living room, told me to make myself at home. There was something he was not telling me. Something hit me, he owned the restaurant, he did not even need his family’s money.

Bathed and settled on her bed, my daughter looked up at me.“Mummy, are we going to grandmas tomorrow?”“No sweetheart, not for a while.”“Mummy? Do I have a daddy now?”“You always had one, I should have told you, it’s just he went away. I didn’t know how to find him.”“Was he hiding?”“In a way, yes, I guess he was, but I’ve found him now.”“Can we see him?”“Soon, but now we need to get you into bed, get some sleep.”“Not tired.”“Sleep, I will ask if we can see him soon, okay?”She nodded, cuddled her bear and instantly fell asleep. I, on the other hand, sat alone in the living room, a mug of coffee in my hand. My mind on the conversation with Wyatt. He was right, I loved him, but I could not allow him to be with me, he hurt me. Walked away, because of money. He chose money over this, us. I looked at the house I lived in, and wondered what life would have been like had he stayed. Would it be the same? Would we still be as poor as we were? I would not have cared, I had not wanted anything then, but him and our daughter.A knock on the door, a light tap, enough to hear it, but not enough to wake Annie. I rushed to the door, to silence the latecomer, opened it without thinking. There he stood, Wyatt.“You need to stay away from my brother, stop saying he is Annie’s father. You won’t win him back, he is not going to be with you. My family won’t allow it. If you know what is good for you, you’ll do as I say.”He was not Wyatt.As the words left his mouth, I nodded, but would not do as he said, I would not, not again. My daughter had the right to meet her father, and no matter what they said, they were not pushing me away again. Wyatt would make up his own mind. Vinnie left the moment his speech was over, telling me I would not ruin the wedding. If I was still even welcome.Closing the door, I took out my phone and sent a message to Wyatt, telling him, that I had a visit from Vinnie. I knew my sister must have told him where I lived, had she come too, was she out there. Was she on his side? Was he even really Vinnie?The reply came minutes later.Wyatt: I am so sorry, what did he say?I did not know how to reply. I sat with the phone in my hand, staring at it. Before I could reply, he sent a second message.Wyatt: You thought he was me, again didn’t you?Me: that obvious.Wyatt: Yes, I promise I did not come to yours, I don’t even know where you live. I could come over now. If you tell me where you live?I hesitated. Should I ask him to come, to be sure it was even him I was talking to. I sent the reply, Okay? Along with my address.He arrived in twenty minutes, I opened the door, there he stood, looking the same as earlier, but wearing different clothes. Was he Vinnie or Wyatt? As he went to step inside, I saw him, his brother, still, no idea who was who. I looked from one to the other.“I told you not to come, and I told you that you two were not going to happen.”“And I told you, Vinnie, that you had no right to tell me what to do.”“That is where you are wrong.”He shook his head. “I hate to tell you that you can’t boss me around anymore, you can’t, our parents can’t.”“You want to be out in the big world all by yourself, go ahead. If you stay here, don’t bother coming home again.”I watched Vinnie walk away, he was the man who my sister was marrying, I just hoped he treated her better than he did his own brother.“Wyatt, you don’t have to stay.”“Yes I do, I told you, this time, I am not leaving. I meant it when I said I loved you.”“Even if it meant being cut off, and living here, or somewhere like here.” I quickly added. Stepped to one side to let him enter.“This is not that bad,” he said, entering. He swallowed, I watched him look around.“I know it’s not much, but its home.”“If I had stayed maybe things would be different, I get that, things will be different now.”“I didn’t say I was taking you back.”“No, I know. I want you to take me back because you love me, not because you were forced into it. We can take it one day at a time.”“I can do that, for Annie. I can do that.”“Fine, for Annie.”“Okay, are you hungry?” I asked.He nodded, “I am, what do you have.”“Not a lot, but I can make some pasta and a tomato sauce if you like?”“Sure.”Twenty minutes later the pasta bubbled on the hob, the sauce beside it, all made from fresh ingredients, cheaply bought from the local shop, all reduced due to the dates, but they had days on them if I used them wisely. I had mastered making the food I bought last longer. I always tried to shop late at night. I got plenty to stock my freezer with. Things like bread, rolls, meat, and veg, I often part boiled and froze it. It made the money I made go further.He sat opposite me and made a face that I hoped meant he liked it. I finished mine and then cleaned the kitchen. He suggested he stay the night, I did not argue. He slept on the sofa, but I insisted he was gone before Annie woke. She should not wake up and find her father asleep on the sofa. He agreed on that. I left him on the sofa, after handing him some bedding. I stood on the staircase, watching him. My heart racing, I had to go to my room, close the door before I was tempted to let him enter and join me in my bed.

“Say something.”“I don’t understand, I mean I do. Who are you?”“Wyatt, Vinnie’s brother.”“I got that bit.”“Tell me the truth? Who walked away from me, who did I have sex with?”“After the first six weeks it was always me, Vinnie was not in the picture. He never saw you again, until the night at the restaurant with your sister.”“Okay,” I replied. It was a lot to take in, it made sense. It made perfect sense. “You walked away from me, not Vinnie.”“Yes. It was me, it was all me.”“Vinnie, he didn’t hurt me, didn’t break my heart in two.”“No, I am sorry to say all that was me and I feel terrible.”“You feel terrible,” I said.“He knew none of what happened, he moved away when he was eighteen.”“Okay, so he was, is innocent, but you’re not. Tell me the real reason you walked away? I deserve the truth on that don’t you think.”“You do. I had no choice, my parents found out I was still dating you. When I told them you were pregnant, they gave me a choice. If I stayed with you, they would cut me off or they would send me away. Either way, I knew I would lose you, and I did.”“Yeah you did, and for what? Lies you could have come clean to me at any time. I may have understood, I may have forgiven you, but now, all these years later.”I stood and snatched my hand back.“Please forgive me.”“I don’t know if I can.”“I know I…”“I need time, time to get all this new information in my head. I need to talk to my sister, our daughter. She needs to know you are her father. But…”“But...?”“I don’t even know how to start to tell her about all this. She deserves to have a father in her life, she does, but I don’t know how I can I trust you. How am I meant to believe what you? Why would I trust that you wouldn’t hurt her like you hurt me.”“I don’t know, but I promise I will try my best to do what I should have done. Prove to you that all I want is you two.”“Well you fucked that up, you know that. I loved you once.”“I hoped you still loved me, I still love you.”“You had a funny way of showing it. You could have told me the truth that day I told you I was pregnant, you had a chance, I deserved that much.” I stood. “I need to go. I need to be as far away from you as possible.”He handed me another piece of paper, numbers scribbled on it, his number I assumed. I thrust it deep into my pocket and turned to leave, he remained in the spot, tears in his eyes. He had no right to make me feel guilty.I ran all the way to the car, not looking back at him, despite everything he had just told me, I would have taken him back there and then. I would have allowed those arms to engulf me, those lips to kiss me, like they had so many times before.I needed to talk to my sister.I arrived at the house, our mother stood in the doorway as I approached the house.“Come to ruin her life more than you already have. Don’t tell me, you’ve got another bun in the oven with her husband to be.”“Mum, that is not fair, besides it’s more complicated than that. Anyway, I need to talk to Amy. This has nothing to do with you.”“The hell it has, we should have disowned you the day you come home pregnant, but…”“I was never good enough for you was I? Even if I had not fallen pregnant anything I had done would not have been good enough.”“That is not true.”“It is, I love my sister I do, but the moment she was born you changed.”“How so?”“You ignored me, forgot me.”“I never did that. What I did was divide my time, when you have more than one child, its what you have to do. It’s called being a parent,” she said, standing before me, those nostrils flaring.“That is not exactly what you did, but okay, if that makes you feel better somehow.”“It’s the truth, and what you did was wrong, you know that. You were too young, and it ruined your life.”“Ruined my life, it never ruined my life. My daughter never ruined anything, but our relationship, yet I allowed you to be a part of her life, because…”“You know what, leave, and don’t come back. You are not welcome here.”“Mum, leave her alone,” Amy said, standing behind her. “We need to talk, if Vinnie is her daughter's father, he has a right to be in her life and I won’t stop him, besides I will be her aunty and step mum, but aunty first, so…its complicated I get that but we will make it work.”“Walk with me?” I said. I did not want my mother hearing the conversation. Not yet.We walked down the road towards the local shop, bought ice-cream and sat on the bench facing the river that ran through the town.“I meant what I said.”“I know, but I found out today that Vinnie is not the man I knew.”“I told you he had changed.”“Yeah, you did, that much he isn’t the man I dated,” I said.“What do you mean?”“He is not the father.”“But you were sure, I mean positive he was.”I nodded and licked the ice-cream that had now dribbled down the cone to my hand.“I know, but you will understand when I tell you this, you will understand why I thought he was.”“Tell me, tell me everything.”She sat and listened, the whole story from start to finish. Her face looked as I imagined mine did when Wyatt told me. “Twins, identical twins, it makes sense. I mean I knew he had a brother, but they didn’t get on so would not be at the meal or wedding. It all made sense now, Vinnie must have known, I think he may have.” Amy said, stuffing the last of the cone into her mouth.“Really?”“Yeah, we look alike don’t we, people always said we did, but he never knew we would fall in love and…”“You should marry him, I am sorry I caused all this pain, I am, but I had to know the truth, I deserved that much.”“You do, your daughter does too.”“Thank you, thank you,” I said, hugging her tears and snot mingled together and we held each other.“What are you going to do about Wyatt?”“I don’t know, I really don’t. I still love him, but I don’t think I can take him back, he hurt me too much.”“He did, but you know why he did it. You need to move on, you deserve to be happy.”“I do, I really do.”“Take it one day at a time, let him in. Let him be a father, and then maybe…”“I’m scared.”“Of?”“Him hurting me again.”Amy nodded and took my hand. “Now we know the truth, we can both move on. I can marry Vinnie and you can be happy again too.”“My daughter's happiness is all I care about.”“Don’t lie, you want him, I saw the way you looked at Vinnie, even if we now know it was not him, but if they are identical.”“Oh, they are.”“That is going to be weird though, us both with identical twin brothers.”“I know. If there is or will be an us.”“Oh, there will be.”I shook my head. “Mum is going to go crazy when she finds out, she wants me out of her life and if I am honest Amy I can’t deal with her crap anymore, I won’t lose you.”“You’ll never lose me.”It was all I needed to hear, I inhaled and leant on her shoulder, we sat there for over an hour before we made our way back. I left my sister, hugged her goodbye before collecting my daughter and making our way home.