aka T-PaB.

Late to the Game

At the beginning of January, there was so dang much optimism in my bloglovin feed…you could feel the enthusiasm.

And also the cliches, accompanied by all the cliche-disclaimers. (I say this as a woman who drinks green juice for breakfast every day. #kale).

The same sorts of things cropped up in post after post: get in shape. be present. eat healthily. cut down on screen time. have it all!

Now, though, there’s a lot less optimism and and lot more teeth-gritting. Fewer smoothies, more pick-me-ups and mugs of hot tea. Fewer yoga pants, more snow boots and mufflers.

I like this part better.

This is where the New Year is just the Year, just what we’ve got in front of us that we have to do, and we are going to do it together.

New Year’s resolutions always seem rigged, like we’re setting ourselves up to make excuses later. Just the thought of getting through a new year is enough, let alone trying to keep resolutions made with NO IDEA what sorts of yikes-y things will conspire to keep me from doing them.

On the other hand, I happen to love ridiculous unreasonable dreaming.

It’s a dilemma, lemmetellya.

So this close-of-January post is my compromise with the resolutions. For the next eleven months I’m going to keep dreaming, keep starting and doing, keep remembering that 2015, just like every other year, isn’t about holding to a list. It’s just about recalling the mercies that come new every day.

This week I started exercising again, with a 70 minute walk with my neighbor and soul-sister Jeong Hui. For two days I’ve gotten up when The Boy does, and I’ve gone for a run (not with him, but with him. You know.)

For the past two weeks I’ve been trying to drink 3 liters of water a day, and I hate it, but it’s getting so that I hate it more if I don’t do it. Progress!

I have more excitement about this blog and more posts and more drafts than ever. It feels like a switch has flipped, and I’m excited about writing, and less scared about sharing, and more motivated to produce, and have more to say. I won’t promise to write twice a week–because I am 99% sure that won’t happen. But there may be something here that wasn’t here before (#Belle) and I’mma run with it.

This year will bringBIG. HUGE. CHANGES. Year 2 of marriage, closing the Korea chapter, moving to a brand new place. I want to take these challenges head-on. I wanna arm wrestle them and be okay with losing.

Walking with Jesus is teaching me to be okay with losing, which goes against every good-girl, honor student, valedictory instinct I have.

That’s the best part of this year so far, and the one I want the very most to keep going.