Here’s the thing about shame: it binds you, enslaves you, restricts you, limits you, and robs you of the capacity to either imagine or to act. Shame makes believing the gospel impossible and forces us into patterns of behavior that are decidedly un-Christlike.

Shame is that terrible gut-wrenching unchosen feeling that erupts when we feel unworthy, broken, tainted, less-than, or fallen because of something we experience. Our face turns red hot, our stomach churns, we physically or spacially try to shrink. Shame erupts for dozens of reasons (failure, perception of non-compliance, abuse, comparing ourselves, personal weight or looks, etc…), and is deeply tied to our social relationships.

I’ve lived most of my life not believing Jesus. I grew up in a deeply faithful Christian family and can honestly not remember a day in my life I didn’t believe in Jesus. But for most of my “Christian” life, I’ve lived with overwhelming skepticism and unbelief about some of Jesus more audacious statements. “Today […]
[Read More]

How in the world did Jesus pull off living such a radically faithful life, even when persecution, torture and death were staring down at him? What allowed him to be himself and yet remain connected and empowered for mission?

Christian orthodoxy demands we view Christ as 100% human, as human as I am in all my incapacity to live in radical submission to God. So what makes him so different?

With more clarity than I’ve ever had, I’m seeing 3 key differences. Jesus lived like he did because his Story, his Spiritual disciplines and his sense of Security were different than mine. And, to the degree I’m committed to doing like him in the world, I believe I need to be like him in the world.

Self-differentiation places equal weight on our connectivity and individuality. You can’t have either in isolation from the other two. Being a healthy individual is impossible without connection to community. And being a healthy whole is impossible without clearly differentiated and working parts. Both the clarity of our identity and connection to community are intertwined with our calling to join God’s mission in our world. We are Christ’s body, not just any ole’ body; and Christ’s Body – like Christ who provides our cruciform model – is on mission with God for our world.

Over the next 6 weeks I am absolutely thrilled to share with you what I’m learning, and to introduce you to people I’m learning it with/from. This post launches a series of posts from over a dozen authors on the integral connection between Identity, Community and Mission, or what family systems theory calls Self-Differentiation.

Here’s a great list of resources that will help you explore Self Differentiation more in-depth: FaithWalking has been the primary community I’ve learned about Self-Differentiation from in Houston. (FW is a Discipleship Formation experience in Houston). I’ll note how integral it has been for me to embed conversation about differentiation into an actual faith community committed […]
[Read More]

I have it from a reliable source it’s okay for me to say the following sentence out loud (and actually mean it): “I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.”

I’ve spent the better part of my life doing nearly everything I can to mask that reality, and to ensure you don’t suspect it’s hidden truth. I’m shocked at we human’s incredible capacity to cover up, mask, and hide the subtleties of our inner selves. Broken marriage? Everything looks fine to the watching world. Doubts about God as a personal being? Try singing praise songs louder next week. You’ve been so hurt you can’t trust anyone ever again? Present yourself as the independent type.

Does prayer make you feel like a failure? If so, you’re not alone! I can’t get past the feeling I’m just no good at it, I barely even understand how to do it yet. And I feel guilty that my prayer list is so anemic, and infrequently used. But mostly, I feel like a failure because my prayers haven’t produced results.

In a world that values production and efficiency, I just don’t have many miracles or answers to point too. This is reinforced by an understanding of Prayer that seeks deliverables. Like the years I spent praying for God to clear up my adolescent acne (heightened the time my upper class crush teased me by playing tic-tac-toe on my forehead in the lunchline), pesky sex drive, or “big-boned” figure. And then there were the “righteous” prayers for spiritual transformation, anger-management, speaking in tongues and extroversion. I’ll admit, having watched Matrix, I tried a time or two to bend a spoon with my prayers. I don’t really have much to show for my prayers.

Allowing stale traditions and theology to die has been one of the most fundamentally faithful turns in my journey. In its place I’ve been captured by the beautiful new world filled with justice, joy and peace that God is creating out of the midst of the old. I’m captured by God’s insistent invitation to me –even me!- to participate in this exciting Missio Dei. God clearly sees something in me I’m not fully convinced is there!

To renew, to go back, implies this has been off track and that I need to step back into a smaller conception of God, complete with more blindness and less honesty. I don’t want to go back; I want to go exploring.