Prog Archives is a page dedicated to mind blowing, awesome, Roger Waters, Prog Rock. As we know, prog rock is a style that includes weird tempo changes, dark chords, mellotrons, voices in the background, as well as walls, furry animals, may queens, octavariums, hot rats and 21st Century schizoid men.

This site shows the main characteristics of Prog Rock, links to different bands, albums, ratings and other stuff like forums discusing topics such as "Why Chubby Checker left the Beatles in 1972" or "Are frogs considered primates?"
It includes variated styles of blowing people's heads out to the sky.

Contents

If you hunt you will find obscure users such as those who frequent THE SHRED, such as A Person, Slartibartfast, colorofmoney91, aginor, rushfan4, Lizzy, Vompatti, Henry Plainview, AtomicCrimsonRush, KoS, Triceratopsoil, darkshade, Anthony H, Polo, The Truth (more important than DisgruntledPorcupine, despite later comments), SaltyJon, SolarLuna96, Epignosis, Deathrabbit, Ricochet, progkidjoel, irrelevant, Horizons, The Gazzardian, CCVP, NecronCommander, and most notably, DisgruntledPorcupine. Oh and don't forget JJLehto. A new comer, Smartpatrol attacted the forums in April. His attack continued for several months, and most of the aforementioned users left or reduced their use of the site drastically. If you want to know how to speak to these strange progfreaks just mention that the bands Magma, Kayo Dot, and Frank Zappa suck. Sooner or later one of them will bite.

Now if you log on you may be surprised that there is a thread dedicated to this very website entry and the comments are rather, shall we say, interesting...

If you visit this website make sure to send a Private Message to "Equality 7-2521" saying how a chunk of his income comes from tax payers, and you are proud he is such a noble government employee.

Survivors are a special kind of poll where you vote your least favourite song off albums, and eventually by the band, to determining what is their OBJECTIVE best song. They were introduced to the forum by DisgruntledPorcupine (with help from darkshade, Epignosis and geneyesontle) in mid February of 2012, and within a week made up for 95.6% of the forums total polls. DP introduced them in an attempt to control the poll section, in which the tournament would spread like a virus to other sections until DP's influence was known and he would have control over the entire forum. He would then change progarchives into a site dedicated to conversing about porcupines and the feeling of disgruntlement (with some room for darkness and shades as well).

It is well known that the members of the website do get together often in the Just For Fun section and occasionally come up with some fun stuff. An example is the thread where they created their own song one verse at a time. The final result was a very strange piece as follows in this extract. The entire song is over 75 pages long over the duration of the thread.

She awakened as the dawn was breakin'
She went outside and started rakin'
Choir: As she raked the leaves did shake!
(Low organ pedal-point, making the ground shake)

Robotic Voice:

SHAAAAAAAAAAAKE!
SHAAAAAAAAAAAKE!
SHAAAAAAAAAAAKE!
SHAKE!

SHAKE!

Huge bombastic choir with metallic voices:
Here come the Robots and they will destroy you
Here come the Robots and they will annoy you
And the Anabaptists they will employ you
And the atheists they will encoil you

And the cannibals will boil you!

Choir:
In Boiling oil in boiling oil they will boil they will boil
In Boiling oil in boiling oil they will boil they will boil
In Boiling oil in boiling oil they will boil they will boil
In Boiling oil in boiling oil they will boil they will booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooil!!!!!!!!!!!

Incandescent neon lights
brighten up my winter nights
the fire has burnt a lonely mark
upon my unrepentant dark
I look above and see a shining light and it is beckoning

My underwhelming institution understands the reckoning

Tells me where i need to go and now i need to take control

And as i bite the hand that feeds me she’s about to break her hold

Let go! And leave it all behind?
I have been deaf, I have been blind
I’m loosening the nuts, and she
slips back to unreality

tragedy follows me to an eternity inside
the flight of insecurity is nothing more than i can hide
i must be blind she is leaving me for an existence dark
and as i fade awy to tears the spell of love has burned its mark

When is the final song posted?

This is the second song (Choir: The second soooonnnggg!!!)
The first one was posted on Page 20 (Choir: Twenty!!!)

(echo voiced backmasked):
Turn Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack
the music is reversible but time is noooooooooooooooooooooot
tuuuuuuuuuurn baaaaaaaaaaaaaack!
tuuuuuuuuuuuuurn baaaaaaaaaaaaaccccckkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!

I cannot turn back! I must go forward!

Female Soprano Choir:
He must go forward! Forward he must!
Ashes to Ashes Fun to Dust
Try as he might, try as he must!
He must go forward and never to rust!

I will start the first song soon enough.

Chorus: hooooow can you start the first song wheeeeeen it's already finiiiiiiiiished?!

Feasting on the introspective moon
Hailing August after June
Making this a disaster
Seeing time moving faster

Arriving at the gates of dawn
I rise and shine and yawn
It’s time to mow the lawn!

I turn on the mower
and it roars to life
The grass is annihilated
Cut with a knife

Choir (whispering): Sssslasssshhhhh

The blades of the mower
go gradually slower
The grass is all gone,
The battle is won.

I see the most disturbing things:
Monster pigs with crimson wings
A bible black angel arises and sings:

Choir:
Hail the mighty blades of death
They met their mark they found their depth
The mower a weapon, now blood is shed

(female spoken): What do we do now that we’re dead?

choir: WTF UR SPOSED TO POUST UN LAIN ATTATAIM!1!!1

The bible black angel emerges and cries:

"The Lord of the Rings is the Lord of the Flies!
The Lord of the Skies is the Lord of the Rings!"

A crimson-winged pig’s moving upwards and sings:

ALL CHANGE!

(a sudden jump from F# minor to Eb major)

The Minstrel:
The piper takes his fife
The looter takes his wife
The girl is young and cute
The piper plays his flute
The looter plays his loot

(lute solo)

The sinner takes it all,
the looter standing tall

choir: It's really not a question of how long it is, the only thing that matters is that it's exactly one (1) line and not any more which basically means that you're not supposed to cut it like that . . . or else.

(Two percussion quartets (one with tuned instruments and the other with drums) do musical battle on opposite sides of the stage)

Never heard of the Much Bigger, Scarier And Wombatier Than The Big Scary Wombat Demon Demon?

That demon is only partly a wombat.

Choir: SO WUUUUUUUUT?

So the fact that the demon can fly doesn't implicate that there are wombats that can fly.
But I bet there are wombats that can fly.

Prove it.

I’m too lazy.

I knew it.

You know NOTHING!

Who died and made you the epistemologist?

What lived thorugh the quarantine and killed all passengers onboard?

Choir: This song is so wrong
Female Soprano: It's going nowhere!
Male: There are too many references to silly things
Choir: This song is too long
Female Soprano: Its beginning to scare
Male: I would rather sing about the Queen and Kings

This style is the ultimate prog. It consists of prog bands/artists that played rock in a way that was pretty symphonic, that is to say that they took violins and cellos and turned them into guitars and drums via magic. It also includes keyboards, mainly the synth. A lot of bands were synthessious and symphonic at the same time, so they were called "synthphonic". It is said that if you plug a guitar to a radio and then put it in a microwave, you can hear the words "I'll be the Roundabout", pronounced by Al Gore. Other artists claim that you can also levitate.
Bands included here can either be very symphoniousious and synthcrosious at the same time (eg. Camel and The Marlon Brando Band of Merry Men), only symphonic or some people who used syths a lot such as varius DJs and people working in different factories and Brian Eno.
This is the mind sucking music 70's bands used to do, such as:

This is a type of prog that can either consist of choirs or mellotron cannons, or just music written on mobile phones (e.g. polyphonic ringtones and cowbell melodies). Very few bands actually do this style.

Crossfire prog contains bands that, although 100% progressive, may have some connection with popular music, or may have burst into flames, thus giving it the "cross-FIRE" tag.
This was created when Supertramp (initially a symphonic prog band) released their hit single "Dreamer"(containing "My strawberry bush" on side b). Their fans thought they'd sold out, but Roger Hodgson claimed: "We didn't sell out...we just want our music to reach pop-jerks to make more money". The difference between this and selling out is debatable.
Years later, someone claimed that Supertramp's case was the one of a fully progressive band that wanted to reach the mainstream audience. That's why they are included in this sub-genre. The other reason of their inclusion is that, when their hit single came out, a lot of prog fans set fire to it, to show their disapproval.
Other bands' discographies have crossed fire many times, due to this same reason.
Prog Archives has collected this records from the fire, cleaned them and put them in the market again...hoping no further burning ocurrs.

This category had its name changed from Fart Rock to Crossfire prog, because it caused quarrels among experts, claiming that it was not 100% accurate to call it Fart Rock, since not all fires were lit by intense farting.

This is a subdivision from Fart Rock. Bands in here were taken out of the F.R category because they didn't have any connection to popular music whatsoever and all had certain relegious contents in their music (most bands here are actually formed by priests or monks).
This style came from the high mountains of Nonthapting, were Monsenior Beckenburgerbauer started writing lyrics based on visions he had of the Apocalypse and was accompained by his monks, who played percussion on some rocks or skeleton remains of dead priests.
Such bands include:

Heavy Prog defines progressive rock music that draws as much influence from hard rock as it does from "thrown away to the trash" beavers.
Although heavy prog has caused much controversy , some pepole think it is, somehow, related to healthy frogs. This association is, of course, erroneous.
It is, however, very common that people confuse the term "Heavy Prog" with "Healthy Frog", but this is, may I repeat, a complete misunderstanding.
So it is, thus, a terrible mistake to relate this music style with amphibian health conditions.
You shan't mistake Prog Rock that is heavier with frogs that can breath normally and live happily without having to suffer diseases.
Mistake Heavy Prog with Healthy Frog is what individuals (like you or myself) shall not, by any means, do.
So, thus, consider yourself informed that thinking heavy prog and healthy frog are the same thing is a complete misconception.
Anyway, bands included here can either be 70's prog bands highly influenced by hard rock or late 80's/90's bands that are more influenced by heavy metal.
Rush, for example, was a progressive rock act that got hit by a very hard stone (or rock) in 1973. It was then confirmed by Geddy Lee that the rock was incredibly heavy.
This same stone was to hit Queensrÿche and Dream Theater in the mid 80's.
Bands include:

DANGER!!Abusive Progressive Rock listening can lead your head to A SPLODE!!!! Nevertheless, Jimmy Hendrix, JIm Morrison, Grover and Ned's Lizard will congratulate you for trying to do it without dying.

This category includes bands that are actually, not really prog at all.
The Proggish style begun into the early 1970s, when bands like Queen, Roxy Music and Led Zeppelin took some stuff they didn't really understand from real prog and added it to their music because of peer pressure. Other proggish bands came out like Iron Maiden (who are pretty much metal, but share some traits with prog, such as extreme mellotronning), and dudes from real prog bands went solo, like David Gilmour, Jon Lord, Santa Claus, Leutennant Steve and Andrew Lloyd Webber.
The entire purpose of this section is a failed attempt to make it seem like a lot of popular music is actually prog when it is obviously not and is generally a waste of space and time.
Bands include:

Now, this is an odd one. To begin with, we have to know who James Blunt is to understand what we are actually talking about when we say "James Blunt Prog".
James started his career aspiring to be a huge pop star. He released his single "you're beautiful" sometime in the 2000s and gained much success.
Then, he noticed that that was the only song of his that people actually listened to. Shortly after that, he realised he was just another one-hit-wonder.
Thus, he went away to the catacumbs of "Wellyabetercumopuithsumthin" and stayed there for about 267 days. There he composed music using nothing else but old and broken cowbells dropped on the way by various ass-backpackers.
He had iniciated a new, progressive sound. It was different from normal prog...it was, in fact different from music, itself.
His style was so James Blunt, that he decided to call it "James Blunt Prog".

This category is filled up by bands that, using their music, make you suffer instant epilepsy attacks every 2 and 1/56 hours on the same day. This music is, somewhat obsolete in the media because all of the countries in the world, except, of course, the Cannibal United Butt-heads Alliance (a.k.a. CUBA), have prohibited it for the extremeasploding of peoples' heads.
Bands included are:

Progressive mental defines bands that draw as much influence from prog as they do from metal, but were taken away from the Heavy Prog (not to be confused with Healthy Frog) category because of various reasons. Firstly, the term Heavy Prog is a combination between Heavy Metal and Progressive Rock. The sound was pretty much prog only that heavy, that is why it was decided to use the word "heavy" rather than "metal". In opposition, this bands use to concentrate more on the "metal" aspect of heavy metal, to show their music is made of pure solid metal ( we can identify some of these bands for the use of metal underwear, usually over their pants, and sometimes even whole metal asses). But this genre is not called "prog metal", it is called "prog meNtal". This is due to the severely problematic state of mental health that this bands posses (or at least show in their music). They include such elements as really dirty distored guitars, Cookie Monster vocals or agonizing insect vocals, spiral riffs, insecticides, pesticides, rotten foxtrots, rotten wool or leather jackets, rotten smell of sweat and shit (steeming through the night), inverted crosses, inverted inverted crosses, pig heads and spikes with a fluffy edge. These are some of the sub-genres included here (all are considered mentally ill): Prog Black Metal, Prog Super Black Metal, Prog Scandinavian Nu Metal, Vegetarian Progressive Grindcore, Norwegian Prog Folk Metal, Prog Unblack Metal, Eclesiastic Hell Metal, Progressive Asswipe and Lounge. The creator of the whole prog mental category is Chuck Schuldiner. He did it when he started screaming the lyrics of Metallica's Fight Fire With Fire while driving his van at a tremendous speed inside his old school's kinder garden. This was taped by his friend Rogel. Lyrics deal with such topics as death, mutilation, philosophy, Satan worship, Santa worship, hate, constipation, dark dragons, ghosts, zombies and some shit whispered in some Scandinavian dialect.... and lower intestines.