A light in the dark

Longest Night Service comforts those feeling bowed down by life

Longest Night Service comforts those feeling bowed down by life

December 15, 2005|LYN STEGEMILLER Tribune Staff Writer

SOUTH BEND -- It's the most wonderful time of the year ... or not. Have yourself a merry little Christmas ... how can I? The holidays, billed as being full of fun, laughter and joy, can prove difficult for those struggling with the harder aspects of life. The loss of a loved one, illness, depression, financial setbacks, ruptured relationships -- there are so many reasons people may feel distant from the much-heralded happy glow of the season. As a way to give comfort and to provide a safe place to experience and explore troubling feelings, Evangel Heights United Methodist Church will join churches across the country that are conducting a Longest Night Service this Wednesday. The name comes from the service being held at the time of the winter solstice, when there is the shortest amount of time between sunrise and sunset. As the darkness grows, the sanctuary of Evangel Heights will be lit with soft light and filled with low-keyed worship, the Rev. Pat Somers said. Open to anyone in the community, the 7 p.m. service will include moments of silence, prayer, soft music and a reflective atmosphere. Candle lighting, Communion and a healing station are different elements in which worshipers may choose to participate or not, he said. Such a service also may be called a Blue Christmas Service, Service of Light or Service of Remembrance. Holding the service is one of many different ways area churches are helping people remember loved ones this holiday season. Unity Church of Peace set up a tree in its sanctuary on which people hung hearts with the names of loved ones. A remembrance service was held offering music-inspired meditation and support. First English Lutheran Church, Mishawaka, has its Faith Lights project to honor loved ones who are living and those who have passed away, the Rev. Leonard Jepson said. Now in its second year, the project involves church members purchasing lights to place on a 45-foot tree outside First English as a symbolic way to celebrate the season. Many people are looking for something that will allow them to be real with their feelings and at the same time hear the Christmas story, Somers said. Participants in the Longest Night Service at Evangel Heights will be encouraged to listen to the Scripture readings in a way they may not have before. "We take the Christmas story and we use the Christmas story as a way of allowing people to see that their own pain, their own grief is one that God is well-acquainted with," he said. "I think what happens when we say 'Christmas' is that we think of lights, tinsel, presents and joy. I think humanity has hijacked the Christmas story and made it into something that it really isn't. "The Longest Night Service tries to get us back to that core depth of understanding of what Christmas is about -- God stepping into His creation personally with His compassion and His love." Somers said that the Christmas story itself contains pain and grief, adding that the Christian faith in general deals with honest emotions, whatever they may be. Some people may try to pretend they are feeling something they are not at this time of year, Somers noted. Sad memories may be stirred of how things used to be and have now changed forever. People may question how they relate to God, where He is or why God would allow something to have happened, he said. "All of the 'why' questions that are so common ... This service will allow individuals to have the freedom to ask the question that perhaps the individual has dared not ask before," he said. Prayers will be said that are sensitive to the special needs of the people in attendance. They will acknowledge that some people are hurting during this time of year. Participants also may light candles if they want to do something tangible to remember a loved one or mark any type of experience, Somers said. Communion will be offered. A healing station also will be set up in a section of the sanctuary. Special prayers will be said. Somers will anoint people with oil by making the sign of the cross on their forehead. The Bible contains many stories where anointing with oil is used as a sign of God's presence, of hope, of being chosen, of healing, he said. Somers, who moved to South Bend five months ago, said that about 100 people attended a Longest Night Service he conducted last year at the much larger Good Shepard United Methodist Church in Fort Wayne. The response to the service was heartwarming, he said. "People have appreciated that what they are going through has been given honest recognition. They've been given permission to be real before God." Somers noted that the 45- to 60-minute service is for worship, though participants may talk before and after the service with church members trained to help people going through difficult times. Anyone wanting further assistance may be referred to the Samaritan Counseling Center in South Bend. Evangel Heights will follow up with those in attendance only if requested, he said. Jill Simpson, director of membership care for Evangel Heights, said she plans to attend the service as a member of the church and as someone who has recently lost a loved one. Having lost her father last month, the holidays will be forever different, she said. Taking time for quiet meditation and talking with her seven siblings has helped her cope with her loss, Simpson said. "I think doing something a little different in your celebration may help -- breaking with traditions in some ways and making new traditions," she added. Anyone who knows someone going through a difficult time can help just by being with that person and listening without judgment, without suggestions, without interjecting their own stories, Simpson said. A simple touch on the arm or shoulder gives tremendous comfort as well. Awareness of their reaction to that gentle touch may reveal if the person is open to a hug, she said. "It's really important for people to feel OK about grieving in whatever way is appropriate for them," she said.