There are two jobs on this planet I would not want under any circumstances: the guy who follows circus elephants around with a shovel, and White House spokesman. While the jobs seem worlds apart, they actually are not: In both occupations you spend your entire day cleaning up someone else’s mess. If you told me those were the only two jobs left and I had to choose, I guess I’d have to go with the circus pooper-scooper, because at least it comes with free popcorn.

I’m a news nerd, so on a rainy day in May you are likely to find me watching, with great glee, the jousting that goes on in the White House briefing room. I love watching smart people go at each other intellectually and seeing if my brethren in the media can trip up the guy or gal trying to spin yarns for the administration. It doesn’t matter if you have a Democrat or Republican in the Oval Office, at some point the spokesperson is sent into that room to fall on a grenade for the boss.

I don’t want to bore you by talking about the president hitting the trifecta last week with scandals involving the IRS, Benghazi, and federal eavesdropping on reporters at the Associated Press. Who knew our Justice Department would act like your 12-year-old sister and listen to private phone calls from the other room? I thought they’d be busy chasing down the leads they should have been following prior to the Boston Marathon bombing. I guess acting like TMZ is more fun.

I work in the media and take no pleasure calling out my fellow journalists, but can we all agree that when it comes to President Obama: Fox hates him, MSNBC loves him and most of the rest of the national journalists went out of their way to be nice to the guy? So why oh why, in a million years, would you want to bite the hand that feeds you and start spying on a press corps that has helped you so much they should practically be on the payroll?

As I watched Jay Carney get hammered by a gaggle of journalists who normally lob softballs at him, I said out loud to my television, “so this is what real journalism looks like.” I wondered where these reporters had been for the past four years. I’m not against President Obama any more than I was against President Bush — I want all our leaders to succeed — but I do want a free and independent press to keep them honest and call them out when needed.

I’m certain by the time last week was over Jay Carney quietly slipped into his office in the West Wing, locked the door and put on the famous flak jacket, left behind former Vietnam correspondent and Gerald Ford spokesman, Ron Nessen. Ever since he passed it down to Jimmy Carter press guy Jody Powell, whenever someone is leaving the job as White House spokesperson they jot down some words of advice, put the note in the flak jacket and leave it for the next guy or gal. No one knows what the notes say; it’s one of the best kept secrets in Washington.

As I said at the top I wouldn’t want that job for all the chicken wings at Hooters. I never would be comfortable having to go out and fib for my boss. Before you send me a snotty email, I’m talking about all of them, Republican and Democrat. Running a country is messy business, and because humans are in charge, at every turn you’ll always have a few people stealing, obfuscating and breaking the rules. It’s a flaw in the species I think. And when the carefully hidden sins get out — and trust me they always get out, ask Nixon and Clinton — someone has to step in front of the firing squad and take the hit for the boss.

For four and a half years the guys speaking for our current president have had an easy go of it. Thanks to our Justice Department the White House press corps has teeth again. Carney finally needs the flak jacket, and that’s not a bad thing for the American people. Now we just need our Justice Department to mind its own business. Or as a man much smarter than me once said, “Our citizens may be deceived for awhile, but as long as our press can be protected, we may trust to them for light.” Do you know who said that? Here’s a hint. You owe me a nickel.