M773-R JOINT STRIKE CARROT

The cutting edge of vegetable warfare

Developed for use by both the
Navy and Airforce, the Joint Strike Carrot represents the very latest in high-performance,
computer co-ordinated military vegetables. With an effective range of 600 nautical
miles and a sell-by date of a week next Tuesday, the Joint Strike Carrot looks like it
will become an important milestone in the development of 21st century airborne groceries.

Piloted by highly trained RAF paraturnips. These can be dropped
silently behind enemy lines and sneak into hostile encampments by cleverly disguising
themselves as some other, more innocent vegetable - such as a radish, beetroot or
weasel*. Once inside, they can easily wipe out a whole platoon using a combination
of biting, strangulation and advanced karate. Nasty.

The Joint Strike Carrot
comes fitted with two wing-mounted high-explosive courgettes, which the makers claim are
capable of accurately striking an averaged sized dinner from a distance of 500 miles, without even splashing the
gravy. It doesn't sound that impressive, but when you consider that we're basically
talking about a couple of overgrown gherkins, you begin to recognise the true significance
of the advances that have been made in the face of such overwhelming odds.

*Please note, the weasel is not technically a
vegetable, although they can give you a nasty nip when roused, and when cornered are
easily as dangerous as a cauliflower or leek.