Roger is good for a laugh, but he is not, and never can be, a component of "The Greatest Video of All-Thyme."

That title goes to Smooth Abbos, who has shown us a glimpse of what Jacko now sound like in the next world.

Mao tried his best to create the greatest video of all time: nuclear explosions, Chinese cavalry with horses in gas masks, stainless steel phallic symbols, and Chinese hotties in bikinis with machine guns.

But an old biddie in the Ministry of Culture said "Bikinis are a symbol of Western decadence! The teenage female warriors must wear their revolutionary infantry pyjamas. They are fighters for the Peoples' Paradise!"

The girls were heart-broken, like the rest of us. We don't want to see the struggle for the Peoples' Paradise--we want the PARADISE."

For better or for worse, this is the result--second best video of all time.