01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

I think a more apt response would be--right on! The reason that is funny is because it is oh, so true.

I especially love the 'we don't believe in anything unnatural' business. I love the little old ladies with orange hair yelling at me that condems are unnatural and we don't believe in anything unnatural.

I especially love the 'we don't believe in anything unnatural' business. I love the little old ladies with orange hair yelling at me that condoms are unnatural and we don't believe in anything unnatural.

In addition to the orange hair, let's not forget:1. Dental bridgework or even a full set of dentures.2. Glasses with and without cataract surgery.3. Full hip replacements.4. Hubby's Viagra prescription.5. Pacemakers for one or both.6. Full battery of life extending drugs.7. Hearing aids.. . . .

_________________“I'm not a member of any organized party. I'm a Democrat.”-Will Rogers