I am GEORGE WALKER BUSH, son of the former president of the United States of America George Herbert Walker Bush, and currently serving as President of the United States of America. This letter might surprise you because we have not met neither in person nor by correspondence. I came to

That's bullshit. The Nigerian government IS part of the 419 scams. They always have been. There are numerous and confirmed accounts of people going to Nigeria to meet with the supposed Dr. Whatever or whatever title he claimed and being given tours of Nigerian Government buildings by people in the government. Saying that the Nigerian government isn't part of the scam is absolute bullshit. It's like saying that George W's administration didn't have a hand in bailing out Worldcom and lessoning the impact

"Advance Fee fraud popularly known as 419 has also been in the rise. Early in the year, a Nigerian diplomat, Michael Waydi, was reported killed inside a Prague embassy by a 72 year-old retired Czech who was allegedly duped by a Nigerian fraudster. Before the gunman was eventually apprehended, he had shot and wounded a 37 year-old embassy clerk."

We humbly request your extraordinary assistance.
I am the widow of Makeu Safeglouglou, who was minister of useless things. My husband was killed as he was about to mount a lap dancer in a Ouagadougou stripper bar.

Help us transfer several billion sperm celles frozen in a sperm bank account!

When people are wanting the account number so that they may wire their $995 to attend.

Back in February, an anti-spam lawyer was joe-jobbed. He found out that he had 40,000 bounce back messages in his mailbox. The really suprising thing were people asking for his hourly rate so that they could file lawsuits against people spamming.

Nigerian scammers are fun. I had one convinced that I had to go to Mos Eisley (a local town named after a Confederate general) to sell my speeder (a small vehicle used for farming) to raise the funds for the transaction. (We don't have a bank account. My father, Anakin, lived through the Depression and doesn't trust banks).

I told him that I was laughed out of the Western Union office for trying to wire money to "Bank Attorney" (he gave me no address or other info), and that I had to spend some of the money buying a ride home from a couple of greasy dudes driving around in a 1976 Millenium Falcon pickup truck. He sent me his name and address. I told him that the Western Union ticket couldn't be changed and that I needed him to send me $3 so that I could redeem the ticket and send him the full sum. I gave him a few weeks to see if he would actually wire me $3, but when he didn't, I gave his name to the FBI, state department, and Nigerian authorities.

The way it is written implies it is against all those things instead of just an independent aspect of a society. I too get pissy when people say "democracy" but mean "everything we have." Democracy is just a good guard against change, which is why the first act of many democracies is to elect a dictator (think Africa) - a dictator is exactly what they had before.

"I had one convinced that I had to go to Mos Eisley (a local town named after a Confederate general) to sell my speeder (a small vehicle used for farming) to raise the funds for the transaction. (We don't have a bank account. My father, Anakin, lived through the Depression and doesn't trust banks)."

You can find tonnes of stories like this on The Lads of Lagos [scamorama.com] site. There's even one from me. Some highlights include:

That was certainly an amusing read. But you believe it? He somehow received gold sent to him? But he clearly pointed out in the series of e-mail exchanges that he was careful not to give the scammer an actual address, even when the scammer wanted to send him the fake documents via DHL.

Time to use the "travelling out of the office" gambit to avoid sending an address........2) I'm travelling between offices this week so finding an office to DHL to fo

FROM THE DESK OF:MR.UMAR MOHAMMEDREPLY TO : umohammed@postmaster.co.uk

Good day,

I am MR UMAR MOHAMMED, head of the accounts/operations dept. of one of the leading merchant banks in Nigeria..I have an urgent and very confidential business proposition for you.

On December 8, 1998, an American Oil consultant/contractor with theNigerian National Petroleum Corporation, Mrs.Ann Barbara Myers made anumbered time (Fixed) Deposit for twelve calendar months, valued atUS$25,000,000.00(T

I couldn't imagine a better way to start my sunday! What a hearty laugh!

In all seriousness, does anyone know of any action taken by a real nigerian to protest/combat this kind of scams? Myself, I'd be pretty pissed to see my country's reputation dragged on the mud by oportunistic creeps.

Myself, I'd be pretty pissed to see my country's reputation dragged on the mud by oportunistic creeps.

As a Nigerian I have to say in defense that faking a moon landing was not feasible for us (though you'd think with modern technology like Maya & Photoshop it would be easier to get to the moon today), so this is just an easier way of getting our name out there.

Hello Taco,
MY NAME IS William Gates and I have been having some problems with the AMERICAN GOVERNMENT and a nasty company called AOL TIME WARNER who think they are going to get a LARGE SUM OF MONEY from me.

BECASUE OF GOVERNMENT SCRUTINY I NEED YOUR HELP IN TRANSFERING THE SUM OF 750,000,000 TO A SWISS BANK ACCOUNT.

It is Lutheran protestant mission. Founded by Norwegian Lutheran Mission Union. The missionaries came from the fjords of western and southern Norway. They assembled in Trondheim, from whence they sailed on May 5. They arrived in Nigeria, where they taught Nigerians how to read and write in the mission school and gave them Spam for lunch with spam, sausage, spam, spam, spam, spam, eggs, spam, spam, lutefisk, spam, spam, spam, spam.........

As someone who has been living in Abuja, Nigeria for the past two months, I would like to say, watching people pay for their rooms at the Hilton can be pretty hilarious.

You get a better exchange rate on the currency black market, so most people transfer their cash there. The problem is you're bound to whatever bills they have. It costs like N20,000 per night to stay at the Hilton, and when a friend of mine was staying for a week, the biggest bill he got from the black market was N50, with a lot of N10 and N5. He had to have people truck in his money in wheelbarrows, and it took them 45 minutes using money counting machines to count it all.

I AM GEORGE WALKER BUSH, SON OF THE FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA GEORGE HERBERT WALKER BUSH, AND CURRENTLY SERVING AS PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. THIS LETTER MIGHT SURPRISE YOU BECAUSE WE HAVE NOT MET NEITHER IN PERSON NOR BY CORRESPONDENCE. I CAME TO KNOW OF YOU IN MY SEARCH FOR A RELIABLE AND REPUTABLE PERSON TO HANDLE A VERY CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION, WHICH INVOLVES THE TRANSFER OF A HUGE SUM OF MONEY TO AN ACCOUNT REQUIRING MAXIMUM CONFIDENCE.

I AM WRITING YOU IN ABSOLUTE CONFIDENCE PRIMARILY TO SEEK YOUR ASSISTANCE IN ACQUIRING OIL FUNDS THAT ARE PRESENTLY TRAPPED IN THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ. MY PARTNERS AND I SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE IN COMPLETING A TRANSACTION BEGUN BY MY FATHER, WHO HAS LONG BEEN ACTIVELY ENGAGED IN THE EXTRACTION OF PETROLEUM IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND BRAVELY SERVED HIS COUNTRY AS DIRECTOR OF THE UNITED STATES CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY.

IN THE DECADE OF THE NINETEEN-EIGHTIES, MY FATHER, THEN VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, SOUGHT TO WORK WITH THE GOOD OFFICES OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ TO REGAIN LOST OIL REVENUE SOURCES IN THE NEIGHBORING ISLAMIC REPUBLIC OF IRAN. THIS UNSUCCESSFUL VENTURE WAS SOON FOLLOWED BY A FALLING OUT WITH HIS IRAQI PARTNER, WHO SOUGHT TO ACQUIRE ADDITIONAL OIL REVENUE SOURCES IN THE NEIGHBORING EMIRATE OF KUWAIT, A WHOLLY-OWNED U.S.-BRITISH SUBSIDIARY.

MY FATHER RE-SECURED THE PETROLEUM ASSETS OF KUWAIT IN 1991 AT A COST OF SIXTY-ONE BILLION U.S. DOLLARS ($61,000,000,000). OUT OF THAT COST, THIRTY-SIX BILLION DOLLARS ($36,000,000,000) WERE SUPPLIED BY HIS PARTNERS IN THE KINGDOM OF SAUDI ARABIA AND OTHER PERSIAN GULF MONARCHIES, AND SIXTEEN BILLION DOLLARS ($16,000,000,000) BY GERMAN AND JAPANESE PARTNERS. BUT MY FATHER'S FORMER IRAQI BUSINESS PARTNER REMAINED IN CONTROL OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ AND ITS PETROLEUM RESERVES.

MY FAMILY IS CALLING FOR YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE IN FUNDING THE REMOVAL OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ AND ACQUIRING THE PETROLEUM ASSETS OF HIS COUNTRY, AS COMPENSATION FOR THE COSTS OF REMOVING HIM FROM POWER. UNFORTUNATELY, OUR PARTNERS FROM 1991 ARE NOT WILLING TO SHOULDER THE BURDEN OF THIS NEW VENTURE, WHICH IN ITS UPCOMING PHASE MAY COST THE SUM OF 100 BILLION TO 200 BILLION DOLLARS ($100,000,000,000 - $200,000,000,000), BOTH IN THE INITIAL ACQUISITION AND IN LONG-TERM MANAGEMENT.

WITHOUT THE FUNDS FROM OUR 1991 PARTNERS, WE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO ACQUIRE THE OIL REVENUE TRAPPED WITHIN IRAQ. THAT IS WHY MY FAMILY AND OUR COLLEAGUES ARE URGENTLY SEEKING YOUR GRACIOUS ASSISTANCE. OUR DISTINGUISHED COLLEAGUES IN THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION INCLUDE THE SITTING VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, RICHARD CHENEY, WHO IS AN ORIGINAL PARTNER IN THE IRAQ VENTURE AND FORMER HEAD OF THE HALLIBURTON OIL COMPANY, AND CONDOLEEZA RICE, WHOSE PROFESSIONAL DEDICATION TO THE VENTURE WAS DEMONSTRATED IN THE NAMING OF A CHEVRON OIL TANKER AFTER HER.

I WOULD BESEECH YOU TO TRANSFER A SUM EQUALING TEN TO TWENTY-FIVE PERCENT (10-25 %) OF YOUR YEARLY INCOME TO OUR ACCOUNT TO AID IN THIS IMPORTANT VENTURE. THE INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WILL FUNCTION AS OUR TRUSTED INTERMEDIARY. I PROPOSE THAT YOU MAKE THIS TRANSFER BEFORE THE FIFTEENTH (15TH) OF THE MONTH OF APRIL.

I KNOW THAT A TRANSACTION OF THIS MAGNITUDE WOULD MAKE ANYONE APPREHENSIVE AND WORRIED. BUT I AM ASSURING YOU THAT ALL WILL BE WELL AT THE END OF THE DAY. A BOLD STEP TAKEN SHALL NOT BE REGRETTED, I ASSURE YOU. PLEASE DO BE INFORMED THAT THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION IS 100% LEGAL. IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO CO-OPERATE IN THIS TRANSACTION, PLEASE CONTACT OUR INTERMEDIARY REPRESENTATIVES TO FURTHER DISCUSS THE MATTER.

I PRAY THAT YOU UNDERSTAND OUR PLIGHT. MY FAMILY AND OUR COLLEAGUES WILL BE FOREVER GRATEFUL. PLEASE REPLY IN STRICT CONFIDENCE TO THE CONTACT NUMBERS BELOW.

We were arranging an essay competition once in my university. Because I was the chief editor (or some crappy designation) of a student club, I was supposed to come up with an email advert, which, after getting approved by the student club president, would have gotten mass-mailed to everyone in the faculty. Needless to say, I was pissed off with the arrangement; surely, there were better ways of spending a Sunday night. More to the point, writing emails wasn't fun.

So, as an effort at having some fun, while at the same time, creatively getting the message across, I took the George W Bush spam and modified it for university use:-

DEAR SIR / MADAM,I AM MABABWE POBERABE, SON OF THE FORMER PRESIDENT OF ANCREDIA, JOHN HERPES POBERABE, AND CURRENTLY SERVING AS PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED BANK OF ANCREDIA. THIS LETTER MIGHT SURPRISE YOU BECAUSE WE HAVE NOT MET NEITHER IN PERSON NOR BY CORRESPONDENCE. I CAME TO KNOW OF YOU IN MY SEARCH FOR A RELIABLE AND REPUTABLE PERSON TO HANDLE A VERY CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION, WHICH INVOLVES THE TRANSFER OF A HUGE SUM OF MONEY TO AN ACCOUNT REQUIRING MAXIMUM CONFIDENCE.

I AM WRITING YOU IN ABSOLUTE CONFIDENCE PRIMARILY TO SEEK YOUR ASSISTANCE IN ACQUIRING CERTAIN DOCUMENTS RELATED TO FOUR SUBJECTS. MY PARTNERS AND I SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE IN COMPLETING A TRANSACTION BEGUN BY MY FATHER, WHO HAS LONG BEEN ACTIVELY ENGAGED IN THE WILFUL CREATION OF TEXTS OF A HIGH QUALITY. IN THE DECADE OF THE NINETEEN-NINETIES, MY FATHER, THEN VICE-PRESIDENT OF ANCREDIA, SOUGHT TO WORK AND WRITE ON HIS GREAT ANCREDIAN NOVEL, BUT UNFORTUNATELY, OWING TO POLITICAL CONDITIONS THEN, HAD TO DEPOSE HIS RULER AND HAS BEEN BUSY EVER SINCE.

MY FAMILY IS CALLING FOR YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE IN OBTAINING THE SAID PAPERS FOR YOUR ESTEEMED WRITING PLEASURE. INSPITE OF ALL THIS, WE HAVE RESOLVED TO PRESENT YOU WITH A SUM OF HUNDRED DOLLARS ($100) FOR YOUR EFFORT IF WE UNANIMOUSLY AGREE THAT YOURS IS THE BEST WRITING WE RECEIVE. THE NATURE OF YOUR GPA IS NOT RELEVANT TO THE SUCCESSFUL EXECUTION OF THIS TRANSACTION WHAT WE REQUIRE IS YOUR TOTAL CO-OPERATION AND COMMITMENT TO ENSURE 100% RISK-FREE TRANSACTION

I WOULD BESEECH YOU TO TRANSFER A PAPER EQUALING FIFTEEN HUNDRED TO TWO THOUSAND WORDS TO OUR WEBSITE ACCOUNT (<insert website address here>) TO AID IN THIS IMPORTANT VENTURE. THE CLUB OF <insert club name> OF <university> WILL FUNCTION AS OUR TRUSTED INTERMEDIARY. I PROPOSE THAT YOU MAKE THIS TRANSFER BEFORE MIDNIGHT OF THE NIGHT OF THE EIGHTH (8TH) OF THE MONTH OF MARCH.

I KNOW THAT A TRANSACTION OF THIS MAGNITUDE WOULD MAKE ANYONE APPREHENSIVE AND WORRIED. BUT I AM ASSURING YOU THAT ALL WILL BE WELL AT THE END OF THE DAY. A BOLD STEP TAKEN SHALL NOT BE REGRETTED, I ASSURE YOU. PLEASE DO BE INFORMED THAT THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION IS 100% LEGAL. IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO CO-OPERATE IN THIS TRANSACTION, PLEASE CONTACT OUR INTERMEDIARY REPRESENTATIVES TO FURTHER DISCUSS THE MATTER.

PLEASE REPLY IN STRICT CONFIDENCE TO THE WEBSITE ACCOUNT.

SINCERELY WITH WARM REGARDS,MABABE POBERABE

--Note:-1) The rules and conditions set in the website are final and binding.2) While the actual text is inspired by scam spam floating on the web, this in itself is a regular, legal, essay competition. Please check the website for more details.

Surprisingly enough, I had to mail my prez thrice to get this through; seems the first two times, he mistook it for an actual Nigerian scam. Poetic success I guess.

No discussion of the nigerian fee scam is complete without a link to the single funniest thing I've read from Slashdot: a guy who went to a lot of trouble to scam the scammers [haxial.com]. Trust me, you'll like it.

If thousands of recipients of such scams wrote back to the senders and engaged them in long, drawn out conversations, they would be so swamped with email that they would have to give up eventually. So everyone, hit reply every time you get a Nigerian/Angolan/Whatever scam letter that has a real return address. Their business depends on suckers replying to them, so GIVE THEM WHAT THEY ASK FOR!

Here's [terrytraub.org] an example of such a conversation I had! It's actually kind of fun to see how long you can string them a

Of course, any reasonable person would spot this web site for what it is -- hateful -- and respond with well-deserved scorn. However, since I am typical Slashdot reader, I am so intellegent and above-the-fold that these lowly issues do not touch me. I am beyond the hard black and white of issues, able to see through to the underlying grey as Neo sees through to the underlying truth of the Matrix. And though I am an unparalleled genius, I'd rather not waste a nanosecond of my valuable time to think about what I am reading. No! Such consideratioins flit through my massive brain without impression, inconsequential as gnats swarming an elephant. After all, the site is Just. A. Joke. And as all enlightening minds know, the guise of humor makes any topic acceptable.

I had posted earlier without reading the link, but yes, after reading about crap such as eating cricket for lunch, I must agree with you. The webpage is, indeed, disgusting racist humour. We may hate spam, but there's no need to vilify whole nations or ethnicities in the process.

The other day I got an "e-mail" from Slobodan Milosovich's wife but with the same style wording as the Nigerian e-mails. She was saying that she needed access to her husband's money which was locked in an account.

Ok all things considered, would you really feel right with his money considering the things he did?

I'm totally in favor of this scam. I think it's a litmus test for greedy idiots. Anyone foolish enough to fall for this scam, or order the $153 Leptoprin weight loss pills, the $9.95 commemorative colored US quarter, or any other overhyped useless product deserves to be ripped off.

The only missing part is to wait a few months, then put these scrupulous marketers in the same room with the people they ripped off, lock the door, and move on to a better, more productive society.

Dear friend, You may be surprised to receive this letter from me since you do not know me personally, although I am sure you know me by reputation. I am William Gates, "Bill" to many, and as you know, a recent refugee from the company Mi*ft.
I got your contact through network online hence decided to write you. Before my flight from the United States to Swaziland I had accumulated tens of billions of dollars which I secreted in several private security companies, foreseeing the looming dangers and my own

Considering that one of the most notorious American spammers, Alan Ralsky, receives mountains of physical mail daily [slashdot.org], I think the Nigerian spammers got off easy with a mock website that touches on some racial stereotypes.

What's racist? If it were as commonly done by Danes as it is by Nigerians, we'd be lampooning the Danes.
What proportion of the 419-style spam do you get that is from non-African sources (checking headers, phones, etc. and tracing follow-up email sources too). I have had exactly THREE that had no African links... one claiming to be Cuban, via mexico, one Romanian coming from various European IP addresses, and one claiming to be Iraqui, but sending through a server in Ireland.

True, there's a whole infrastructure supporting Nigerian scammers. There are Nigerian restaurants, Nigerian stores, Nigerian water plants, and especially corrupt Nigerian government officials who don't enforce the 419 law.-russp.s. I have a mailbox with at least six hundred unique scam letters from (go ahead, guess) Nigeria. Been saving 'em for posterior, or posterity, or whatever.

Yeah, we really are being racist by chooising to pick on Nigeria for their email scams, instead of talking about all of the other ways they have impacted people living outside their hole of a country, like... well...um....hmm...

How does this support your contention that the people who disagree with you are ignorant?

Let's see... We have a very well-funded, brutal Stalinist dictator, with a well-known propensity to slaughter innocent people.

We also know that said dictator has an axe to grind over the humiliation the USA dealt him over his last attempted land-grab. Furthermore, we know that he sponsors other terrorists (paying cash to the families of the Fatah Kamikazes, etc.)

In the light of your sterling performance in this repartee, I'll consider your assertion that Americans are ignorant to be nothing more than projection of your own intellectual shortcomings onto hundreds of millions of other people.