My Son diagnosed way to late for help.

Duse1 - posted on 03/05/2015
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Hi my son Matt was diagnosed clear back when he was 20,, but still I was told that was late,,and doubtful he would adjust to any help out there at the time.. I always knew something was different when my son was young.. He never made friends very well , he struggled in school, but yet he could read and write when he chose.. I was told by teachers that where he could read pretty well they did not know how much he comprehends cause he would not or could not share that with them..

My son went through public schools and had problems both with people and academics.. He was diagnosed at the age of 14 with Seizure activities.. Mainly mini mal seizures back then is what they called them.. but at the age of 19 because he went off his meds.. told me he was cured and refused to take them,, had a very serious seizure that left him in the Hospital for 4 days.. he ate nothing and slept thewhole time.. it was very scary.. I knew nothing about Aspergers back then. and I have to admit still know very little now.. except every time I spell the darn word,,my spell check says it is wrong.. LOLI know it was named after the man who discovered it.. I see that my son has some of the symptoms, but is also diagnosed with epilepsy and OCD,, put that with any form of Autism.. and tell what do you have.. I will tell you.. a mother who is at her wits endmy son is on disability now. The Doctor's don't even argue that fact.. Every time he comes up for re-certification,, no problem getting his benefits.

I guess what I wanted to know is. How do I get him out of the house more. How do I give him a better life for himself.. He seems quite content the way things are.. like he does not notice he is a Hermit..and I mean of the worse kind.. He refuses to touch door handles.. here I thought all the times I took him to his Dr Appt's and he held thedoor for me with his Foot,,I raised him right and he was being a gentleman.. when in reality he was waiting for me to open the door and use his foot so he did not have to touch the dirty door handle..

My final thought and believe me I am open to any replies.. How do I know my other son's diagnoses is right.. Timothy is 19 almost 20, while he seems nothing like his brother. He too struggles with school, but that was because he did not know how to read well. his diagnoses is ADHD, MIld MR, and Autism.. even though so far I am not sure what kind of Autism.. some say Aspergers some say high functioning. but they said that about Matt too.. How do we know for sure..

Also My First Born Grandson. Jump ahead he is now two years old.. and because his mother wanted to prove me wrong when I suggested he acted some what like Matt at that age.. went in and had him tested.. Good news they said NO way my Grandson has Autism. But probably ADHD.. LOL.. fine line here.. I remember Matt they said had ADD without the H.. he was misdiagnosed all these years.. it did not help him.. I want to stop misdiagnoses.. I said my Grandson could and I meant COULD because I saw the signs.. He stacks things and obsesses over certain things. If things do not work out for him.. when he does this..he throws a fit.. He is very smart knows his ABC's for the most part,, and can count to 10.. Matt might not of known all this but I had a second child when he was two,,and was not sitting there singing the ABC's to him all the time.. and my Grandson not only has his mom and dad and Grandma teaching he has Aunts and Uncles too.. My Matt only had me.. We were a military family,,and sometimes Matt and I were all alone while his Dad was on maneuvers with only his baby brother in tow.. LOL..

So my eventual question.. how early is it too early to test a child for any type of Autism. while I know mine were tested too late,,because of where we live and the ignorance of the community and myself.. I feel that even this community is starting to catch up,,but yet how accurate was that Doctors evaluation after seeing my Grandson only one time in a closed setting for only 40 to 50 min.. give or take.. For one I would not have tested him so young.. and for two for my Daughter in Law to be so wanting of a diagnoses of him NOT having it is bad for him as well.. She has been heard saying if he is anything Like Matt I will be pissed.. like it was my other son's fault (Matt's Brother) for having bad genes.. Sorta Frustrating isn't it.. I think I said something too soon.. But she took him in for behavioral things.. anger, frustration issues.. things like that.. My Grandson does put things in a row.. he has been obsessed by trains so he always puts everything in a line like cars trucks and stuff just like a train.. He is very smart,but gets frustrated when we don't get his ways.. just a few things.. I know there are a few more.. but like I said he is only two.. too early right to put a label of anything I would think.. let me know please.. I have more ?? concerning my two sons.. but I will wait

I don't have a huge amount of experience with Asperger's, just some with Autism. Neither of my children have either, nor do they have ADD/ADHD. I have been around a lot of children that do, and my son was tested also. It ended up being normal childhood growth and development. Things like you described, such as lining up things, obsessing over things (in my sons case dirty hands) being non verbal. Both of my children liked to line up things, toys, blocks along the entire length of the home...and oh boy if you accidentally knocked one down while stepping over something.

Your DIL could just be scared. She knows that it runs in the family, and it really isn't fully determined if this is genetically linked. I know a family that has 2 sons that are both autistic. One more severe than the other. I learned a lot about autism by talking with her. She is an incredible mother, and her children are amazing.

As far as helping your adult son now, reach out. Reach out to specialists. Reach out to group homes that specialize in your sons area. As these diagnosis' are becoming more frequent, more people are aware, and more support is out there.

Best of luck to you mom. I hope you are able to find the support you and your son needs.