Nurturing joy, lightness and space – whilst adapting to life in China…now France!

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I forgot to take photos of our food over the Christmas and New Year period, but I can assure you that we did eat well (read ‘copiously’) and that the butter shortage didn’t hamper festivities. In fact supplies of butter seem to be back to normal.

On the return trip from Vendee to Toulouse we spent four days in the Perigord region. This region is renown for truffles, duck and geese products, and walnuts. While we were there we visited the recently built Lascaux caves center and some of the surrounding villages including the stunning Rocamadour where we simply had to eat some of the delicious local raw milk cheese of the same name during our picnic lunch there.

The famous Lascaux caves have been closed to the public for many years in order to preserve the important cave paintings within – estimated to be up to 20,000 years old – but the true-to-life replica in the new modern center is amazing. To this day it is a mystery how the artists managed to paint these enormous, yet accurate, representations of animals (there are no paintings of anything else; no plants, no fire, no people….) in the deep dark recesses of the extensive caves.

Having an old school friend stay for a visit was a good way to kick off the year. Rachael and I managed to tick a few items of her ‘must do’ list including exploring Toulouse, a visit to a local winery, eating creme brûlée, croque monsieur, and baguettes and cheese and a visit to Carcasonne

Stormy weather at Carcasonne. At least the gargoyles were fun to watch as they ‘spat’.

Post-lunch café in Place Saint Georges – yes it is mid-winter!

Rachael also helped a great deal in planning our daughter’s 10th birthday party and I must say that the resulting treasure hunt was a great hit with our daughter and her new-found friends.

Firstly, what is the réveillon? It is a loooooong dinner held on the evenings preceding Christmas Day and New Year’s Day. The word ‘réveil’ means ‘waking’ and refers to the fact that these dinners traditionally involve staying awake (and eating) until midnight…and beyond.

As the Réveillon approaches, the festive menus are being finalized across the nation. As with any country, the dishes served will vary from family to family, region to region and year to year, but there do seem to be some usual suspects:

– Starting with champagne and some finger foods, especially canapes topped with smoked salmon or caviar for example and it might also feature verrines (see my previous post Oct 2016), nuts…., but unlike Australia, dips are not very common and cheese platters are never served before the meal nor with crackers.

– The entree could be some raw oysters, scallops, lobster, the controversial foie gras, or soup, with a suitable wine to accompany.

– The main dish is the one that seems to be the most flexible and can be anything from fish to beef /game meat or capon (but not often turkey). Vegetables can be found in form of potatoes, pureed winter varieties, grilled or in a gratin ….with wine on offer.

– For the purists, this is then followed by a cheese platter served with crusty bread (possibly a little fancier than the bread offered during the main course and might be fig, walnut, or rye for example) perhaps with a green salad during, before or after – with wine.

– And for dessert, a ‘buche’ (a cake resembling a log of wood) is common. The original and most common one is chocolate but it is possible to find all kinds of variations from the local patisserie such as berry, tropical fruit, pear, coffee and there are even ice-cream varieties available. A buche from a patisserie will set you back about 30€ for 8 people.

– Dried fruit, chocolate, ‘Papillotes’ and mandarines might be passed around for those who are still a little peckish. Papillotes are chocolates (of pretty poor quality) that are wrapped in shiny foil paper and sold only at Christmas time (that would be from late October to January!).

– Coffee anyone? (always a short black) Or perhaps a digestive?

In Australia, it is common to eat one predominantly cold family Christmas meal at lunchtime on the 25th in a buffet style. This approach permits guests to select what and how much of each dish they want and the timing allows the whole afternoon to digest (and as the following day is a public holiday, there is also the time to recover…… or eat leftovers).

So ‘Bon Courage!’ (Hang in there!) Not only in order to survive excesses of food and lack of sleep but to be able to try and ‘celebrate’ this time of year for those whose loved ones are no longer around to share it with. I miss my mum – who would have turned 82 this 23rd of December – and I would love to be able to teletransport myself to Australia to spend some time with my dad and my brother and friends and then to the USA to see my big sister and friends.

But the good news is that my dear friend Rachael will be visiting in the first week of 2018!

Salted butter from La Vendee. This butter has salt crystals in it that make a sound when you pass your knife through it.

For a country that consumes more butter than any other, the current butter shortage is a serious matter. For a few weeks now the butter shelves in the supermarkets have been bare, much to my daughter’s dismay: she can no longer eat her Vegemite and butter on toast.

Apparently, the troubles began with the end of European milk quotas in 2015 which led to farmers immediately rushing to produce dairy. But that triggered a collapse in milk prices, which drove some producers back out of the market.

But now there is a big increase in global butter consumption, with buttery pastries becoming increasingly popular with Asian consumers (especially the Chinese – which incidentally I witnessed during our time there) and with butter coming back into vogue after decades of westerners eating margarine believing that it was a healthy alternative.

So rising butter demand and falling supply results in increased prices. However, the price increases have not been transferred to French supermarket shoppers and so French butter producers have resorted to selling their butter abroad for a better price.

Why not just increase the price of butter to customers you ask? This is not possible due to rigidities in France’s system of pricing and distribution – big retailers refuse to pay more for the product and there are strict restrictions on foreign competitors. This situation is likely to continue until annual negotiation meetings due in February 2018.

I can’t imagine the French population surviving until then. We’ll have to wait and see.

September is not my favorite time of the year…at least in the northern hemisphere. As the days grow shorter and colder the list of administrative tasks grows longer and longer and school and everything else starts again with intensity. The end of this scene from the French film Auberge Espagnole (Spanish Apartment) makes me laugh and cry at the same time. It dates back to 2002 but things don’t seem to have changed that much. I have felt like the main character – Xavier – on numerous occasions with all of the paperwork required to set things up such as….changing our postal address, school enrollment, extracurricular activities, etc…

If you’ve never seen the film, I can highly recommend it and its 2 sequels – Les Poupées Russes (Russian Dolls) andCasse-tête Chinois (Chinese Puzzle) – which all focus on western European life. In addition to the great story, the soundtracks are excellent. As with the majority of French films, these works rely on strong characters, good storylines and talented actors and not on expensive special effects and superstars.

The paperwork was worth it because the kids have been going happily to school each morning and tell me that they LOVE the self-service canteen (where they enjoy a choice of 4 entrees, of 2 main courses with side, followed by cheese or yogurt and then a selection of desserts) but they are NOT happy about the new timetable: The former timetable was 8:45-16:45 Mon, Tues, Thurs and Fri and the new timetable is 8:55-16:30 Mon, Tues, Thurs and Fri AND Wednesday morning 8:55-12:00. In addition, they think that the 2-hour lunch break is a little too long – but they probably need all of that time in order to eat and digest their large lunch!

I’m not particularly impressed by the first poem that our daughter was asked/told to learn by her new teacher which was titled ‘Obeir pour bien grandir’ (Obey in order to grow up well). The lines of the poem promote everything but encouraging independent, creative and inquisitive children. A sort of ‘subtle’ brainwashing in a way, probably with the teacher’s principal goal being to increase his chances of having a quiet and ‘sage’ class this year.

‘Sage’……hmmmmm. I also really dislike the way that this word ‘sage’ (well-behaved) is employed here. For example, it is invariably used when dropping kids off at a party: ‘sois sage’ (be good). NO! I am certainly not denying that it is really important that a child respects those present at the party. But I am questioning if that should be the focus of the parents parting message; I’m willing to bet that in the same situation in Australia there would be a much higher incidence of hearing parents say ‘have fun’ (and just assuming/trusting that their offspring will be ‘sage’).

Speaking of ‘fun’ we took the kids to a music concert this past weekend. The singer was Aldebert and he had the audience (including me) up on their feet jumping and clapping. His songs are aimed at children but he is like the ‘Disney of singers’ because his music appeals to adults too (and not in the annoying ear-worm way of The Wiggles). Like many French singers, the real appeal is usually in the lyrics of their work. Songs that at first might be perceived as just pleasant listening can turn into real gems with closer attention. My first experience of this was when a French teacher asked us to translate ‘Lucie‘ by Pascal Obispo. I am still moved by this song today.

One definite plus of our new location is its proximity to the Spanish border. We took advantage of this fact and spent one fabulous week on the Spanish side of the Pyrenees mountains – in the Aragon Region -in the Province of Huesca- and also in the bordering Catalonian Region (which is, incidentally, hoping for a referendum later this year in order to leave Spain). The weather was great, the landscape magnificent, the locals very friendly and the food was delicious. Cod, calamari, mushrooms, dried meats (for example the longaniza sausage), red peppers and summer fruit featured regularly:

The children particularly liked the tradition of tapas and one of the cepe/porcini mushroom dishes was sooooo good that our formally mushroom-hater son asked for a second helping!

The food was far more popular than the mountain hikes …at least according to our kids, despite the stunning beauty of the Aigues Tortes National Park and surrounds and the numerous 12th-century churches that are listed as World Heritage Sites.

Saint Quirc of Durro

Saint Climent of Taull

Although, there is a language known as Occitan (or ‘lenga d’oc’) which is spoken here in southern France (with its roots in Latin, it sounds like a cross between French and Catalan – and is apparently an official language in Catalonia), I am actually thinking of adding more Spanish to my limited repertoire in preparation for our next trip to Spain.

In the meantime, I’m training my ear to understand the local Toulousain accent: the “ai” sound, for example, is much more nasal and so the word for bread, ‘pain’=/pa~/ spoken with a Toulousain accent sounds more like ‘peng’= /pɛŋɡ/. Also, I found that the locals speak more melodically than other French; they seem to ‘sing’ as they talk.

They also use expressions and vocabulary that I had never heard before. One example is the local word ‘chocolatine’ for ‘pain au chocolat’ (chocolate croissant). There are certainly many more examples but I haven’t deciphered them yet.

I hope that our two children – who will be starting at their new school next Monday – will be able to understand their teachers. And I hope that I too will be able to understand the locals and manage to build some friendships with other parents….like those below:

Place Saint Georges, Toulouse: That’s where we and 3 other ex-Shanghai couples and kids – who have now relocated in and around Toulouse – reunited for an al fresco dinner (actually, it wasn’t very cool on the terrace but rather hot and sweaty). I couldn’t believe that the large Square – bordered entirely by restaurants – was completely full on a Monday… late into the night. Toulouse has many universities and it has the reputation of being a ‘party town’.

After 5 hours of scrubbing and cleaning, I left ‘home’ (our home of 2 years to the very day) and drove past vast open spaces, sunflower fields, towns, and vineyards to arrive 6 hours later at our new pad. The next day our affairs also arrived by truck. Apparently, the 47m3 of ‘stuff’ (mostly toys) was under the average French load of 60m3, but it was still way too much and it took days to take it all out of the boxes.

Just before leaving home, we had the chance to catch-up with some friends that we met in Shanghai (who now live in Paris but who were holidaying on the west coast). And then shortly after our arrival, we caught-up with some more ex-ex-pats.

That would surely have to be the biggest benefit of our expatriation experiences…the opportunity to meet (and re-meet) so many people from all over the globe.

Speaking of people, those that I’ve met so far here in Toulouse and the surrounding towns are pretty friendly folk. It’s been easy to strike up conversations at the markets and our neighbor has spoilt us with her homegrown produce. Martine even gave me a cooking lesson to show me how to prepare zucchini/courgette flowers the Italian way (she originates from Calabria).

As with many parts of France, the locals here are extremely proud of their village/town/city to the point that they can be caught down-talking the adjoining village/town/city. Generally they appear to have strong personalities, speak frankly, and have less concern about customer service than I’m used to: on numerous occasions shops have been closing well before their posted finishing time.

We are in the Haute Garonne department which is in the Occitanie Region (formally known as the Midi Pyrénées).

The capital of the Haute Garonne is Toulouse, which is also called the Ville Rose (Pink City) due to the color of the bricks from which it has been constructed….although my kids thought that ‘Orange City’ would be a more accurate name.

Even when buildings look like that might not be built with the famous bricks…it turns out that they are!

It makes for a very striking city with impressive squares and lovely little streets and passages.

The city has the Garonne River running through it and the Canal du Midi runs around it. At the moment the Marie (mayor) has created ‘Toulouse Plage’ along the river which offers a multitude of free activities to the general public. In this photo, people are playing with board games that were on offer with volunteers mulling around to help with the rules. We played ‘Niagara’ which was a good mix of strategy and luck. Compared with Australia, board games seem to be more popular in Europe.

Closer to our new home there is a vast forest (la forêt de Bouconne) and quite a few lovely walking/cycling paths. However, apart from the few quaint traditional brick houses, the architecture is very uninspiring.

I’d say that the first impressions of our new surroundings are mixed but overall positive.

As for forging ahead with new habits?….well I decided to change the side of the bed on which I sleep… just for a change. So besides sleep deprivation, I’ve not made great progress on that front.

However, I have forced myself to go to different places every day and to take different routes whenever possible (my kids would call it ‘getting lost’) just to keep mindful of my actions.

In my second ever post (June 4th 2013) I managed to come up with a list of some of the benefits of moving (a little shorter than the list of negatives). I have just read it again to remind myself that there ARE potential benefits of moving …..yes, yes, yes….even though it is typically a highly stressful experience. Benefits such as de-cluttering, discovery, the anticipation of meeting new people and the opportunity for self-reflection.

Having since read the book ‘Better Than Before’ by Gretchen Rubin (which I summarized in a post – Oct 2014), I’d also add to my list that moving also offers the opportunity to start new habits and she writes: ‘Pay close attention to the first few times you do anything because those decisions will shape your baseline habits‘. That’s pretty powerful – I’ll have to be sure to move around very mindfully in my new surrounds.

Mental Note: It will also help to have the willingness to actually give up old patterns, and to enjoy the freedom that ensues (but to not be bogged down by the panoply of choices – see earlier post ‘analysis paralysis’ – June 2013). Start With Intention!

In the meantime, I’m still in Challans (in the Vendée département). I just bid farewell to my big sister and my nephew who were visiting for 10 days. My kids were ecstatic to play with their cousin (and he was very patient with them) and my sister was very happy to eat lots of seafood and visit the local area. Thank you Anne and Luc.

Now I’m surrounded by boxes – many of them empty! In the process of procrastination, I came across this clever poem by a famous French writer called Georges Perec, about moving (déménagement). It’s a long list of the verbs/actions that accompany the process of moving. However, George finishes the poem as he closes the door of the apartment that he is leaving. Therefore he omits the equally long list of actions that need to take place at the other end upon opening the door at one’s new home.