Sunday, May 13, 2012

Freeing Up Emotional Space

Life at its best comes when we
have freed up emotional space to enjoy it. Life is good for others, too, when
we have emotional space to spare them. With room clear for freedom, thinking
and feeling are things we can do in non-pressured abundance. Yet, for most of
us these ideas can appear as fleeting or dreamlike realities.

Nurtured capacities, and room in
abundance, are not always available.

Sometimes we have no emotional
space to spare ourselves, let alone others. We wisely let that be. It would be
no good railing against such bounded forlornness.

As there is time for living
emotionally free, there is also a time to be burdened.

As typical human beings, though,
we prefer being free. Having choice and space with which to operate within is
the nexus of connexion—with us, as persons, and others.

Freeing Up Our Own Space

We have nothing to share with
others if we have nothing to share with ourselves.

And as persons, uniquely
interested in our own happiness and fulfilment, we should want to have
emotional space to spare. What is better for others is first best for us.

Freeing up our own space is about
many things, not least of which, it’s the self-discipline to order our lives
well within our capacities and not to the extent of overload, as well as having
the courage to do our emotional self-work.

Dealing with our baggage is
primary. If we have unattended, unaccounted-for emotions, because we haven’t
reconciled conflict, neglect, abuses, guilt or shame in our lives, our emotional
capacities are splintered, and split too sparingly.

The best thing about doing our
emotional self-work, besides the feelings of increased confidence we enjoy, is
we free up space to help others.

Having Emotional Space For Others

Most people want to help others. But,
we cannot share with others what we don’t have first within ourselves.

Having made room in our lives for
ourselves, we now have room for others. And this isn’t just time and logistical
space. It’s the plasticity and flexibility of the mind and heart. And it’s best
we remember that these capacities waver from day to day and we need to accept
our capacity for sharing will vary accordingly.

***

Life is best when we have
emotional space to spare. Freeing up emotional space gives us joy within
ourselves, and the ability to love others. Being emotionally free requires us
to do our emotional work. Only then will we and they benefit.