6 Ways to Misbehave in Your New Corvette

1. Don’t Rev Your Engine

Do NOT rev your engine at a stoplight while eyeballing the driver of an Italian sports car.

Yes, you now own some sweet American muscle. No, you do not need to flex it on people. Just relax and know that you came away from the sports car table with a lot more coin in your pocket and the patriotic feeling of owning a sweet machine from the USofA.

2. Don’t Show Off

Do NOT feel compelled to show off at an auto meet up such as Cars ‘n Coffee. When exiting the parking lot, please do not over apply the throttle. There are many RWD high horsepower cars on YouTube that have been piloted right into a crash due to this error.

3. Don’t Park Like a Jerk

Do NOT park like an ass hat. Everyone by now must know the feeling of having something you really cherish and care for. With certain material possessions, things tend to get a bit weird and Gollum-ish when you don’t want your Corvette put in harms way. This has resulted in numerous Imgur posts showing sports cars parked at varying angles and across multiple spots in an effort to keep the “plebs” away. This usually has the opposite effect and infuriates people to the point of vandalism and internet shaming.

4. Don’t Pointlessly Cover It

Do NOT cover your car if you are not leaving it overnight. If you’re running into the grocery store to get a handful of things, there is no plausible reason that you need to spend just as much time in the parking lot dragging out the cover, unfolding it, and protecting your ‘Vette from the weather. Seeing something like this will again, like the previous qualm, cause other motorists to possible hurt your precious car.

5. Don’t Go Slower Than Slow

Do NOT drive habitually under or over the speed limit. Many people do not know but it is actually illegal to drive slower than need be. Piloting a sports car adds salt to the wound that someone is behind the wheel of a magnificent piece of engineering and is doing a total disservice by going slow.

6. Don’t Cry Over Lost MPG

Gas prices suck. They suck even more now that you own a car that’s the equivalent of a Jack Russell Terrier, fuel efficiency-wise. At this point Chevy has not implemented any electrical motors to be paired with the gas engine to keep the HP numbers going up while keeping fuel consumption down. So until then, you are stuck with a petrol drinking, dinosaur sauce sipping, bonafide ‘Vette. The beautiful ones are always expensive, my friend.