The Mood Swing Phenomenon

As you hang up the phone after talking to your girlfriend, who has gone from being super nice to super naughty and back to super nice in a matter of 10 minutes, you can't help but ask yourself who this three-headed monster you're dating really is.

One minute she's telling you how happy you make her, the next she's telling you how happy she is when you're away from her. You thought you were dating one girl, but with her mood swings, you might as well be dating four.

Many men experience the mood swinging girlfriend, otherwise known as Jekylline & Hydera . You think she's just as crazy as every other girl you meet.

If you want to understand her mood swings and try to better deal with her roller coaster emotions — especially those that reappear monthly at the Menstrual Amusement Park — just take a seat and buckle up; it's going to be a bumpy ride.

loopy emotions

Men and women both experience their share of mood swings, but for some reason, females are more often associated with mood swings. When a man is cranky, we chalk it up to a bad day because his stock just plummeted, but when a woman's mood goes topsy-turvy, it's attributed to her crazy mood swings.

Why the double standard? For starters, women have set themselves up for the mood swing association thanks to "PMS"; medically known as premenstrual syndrome, but also known as the excuse for every female to act like a witch with a capital B .

Women have a right to attribute mood swings to hormonal changes and PMS; there is biological evidence linking one's mood to their menstrual cycle. However, women go too far by tacking their "Leave me alone" posters to their chests a week before their period. Don't worry, we'll cross that red carpet soon.

Hormones aren't the only likely cause of mood swings; women can go from happiness and motivation to irritability and lethargy due to the uncontrollable stressors in their lives.

is it you?

Some women are snappier and crankier than others, and it's up to you to determine what her threshold for patience and tolerance is. Let's say you and her are out for dinner; she starts off by holding your hand and blowing you kisses from across the table. By the end of the night, you comment on how she hardly ate her veal, and then she blows up at you. Next thing you know, you drop her off at home and she doesn't want to talk to you.

What should you do? Rather than assure yourself that she's just being her cranky self, establish why she just snapped at you. What could you have said to set her off like that? Was there an underlying issue that could explain why she got mad? Then, try to talk to her. Discuss this while she's still in the car, or call her later that night or the next morning, once she has cooled off, and ask her why she got so angry. Was it something you said or did?

Even if you feel that she always has these kinds of mood swings, it's better to communicate what happened. She may call you in the meantime and apologize for yelling at you for no reason, or when you ask her what you did wrong, she may have forgotten about the whole incident altogether. Just make sure to keep the lines of communication open and don't let these bouts of anger get swept under the carpet, or you may experience a tornado of repressed negative feelings.

How many times does this happen? Now, if these mood swings occur more than usual, and you find yourself apologizing for your behavior more than once every two weeks, there may be a whole bigger picture she's not telling you about. Tell her you feel that everything you say seems to set her off, and you want to know whether everything's all right and if there's something she's not telling you. It doesn't necessarily have to do with you; maybe she's stressed about work, or has family problems you don't know about.

If you feel that her mood swings occur more than twice a week, you shouldn't feel like you need to walk on eggshells; that's not fair to you. If she's moody or cranky more often than happy, it's your choice whether or not you want to accept her for who she is and try to ignore her moodiness. If her positive qualities outweigh her crankiness (we all have our faults, right?), then try to ignore her mood swings. That decision is in your hands.