Basu: A key question for Weiner: Who wouldn't he sell out?

Jul. 27, 2013

David Horsey / Los Angeles Times

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I took one magazine on vacation earlier this month, one that had had sat unread on my nightstand since April: The New York Times Magazine with Anthony Weiner and Huma Abedin on the cover. The story extolled the resurrection of the former New York congressman, forced to resign after it was learned he had tweeted and texted salacious messages and pictures of his penis to women.

The piece seemed orchestrated by the couple to boost Weiner’s mayoral prospects in New York, making him look contrite, remade into a loving husband and family man.

“There’s no one who deserved this less than Huma,” Weiner says of his wife, the former Hillary Clinton aide, attributing his sexting behavior to a need for constant approval. I made a friend read the piece, noting that Weiner’s purported need to be liked didn’t square with the acerbic, combative side of his personality the article also described.

And, indeed, it was all a lie. What the couple didn’t say was that a year after leaving Congress, he had done those tawdry things again. And again and again, even after the birth of their baby, bringing the total to about 10, he guesses.

The Times has come back swinging, its editorial page calling on “the serially evasive Mr. Weiner” to “take his marital troubles and personal compulsions out of the public eye, away from cameras, off the Web and out of the race for mayor.” That has prompted vigorous online discussion of how harshly to judge his actions.

One thing you can say for Weiner, he’s forcing Americans to look at ourselves — if not exactly the way he’s forced some to look at him. The bizarre exhibitionism, the apparently insatiable need to have his manhood affirmed, and the steadfast and vocal support from his betrayed wife offer new challenges for consciences to grapple with.

It was easier when cheating was clear-cut physical engagement with people other than your spouse. But given the blurring lines between public and private, sex and sexting, fantasy and infidelity, it’s not easy to maintain a hard and fast rule.

One online commentator who forgave Weiner the first time, calling his offenses “less egregious than those of Elliot Spitzer, David Vitter, Larry Craig, Bill Clinton or many others,” has concluded Weiner has a problem with the truth.

Others call him arrogant, self-destructive, disdainful of the public and incapable of rational judgment. Words like hubris and narcissism and subject to blackmail have been tossed around.

But Weiner’s defenders have forceful rejoinders. “Shame on you, NYT Editorial Board, for discouraging participation in the electoral process by someone whose only offense was to offend your sense of decorum,” said one post. “All Weiner has done is embarrass himself, yet we don’t bat an eye at those who are guilty of white collar crimes, embezzle from the state, seek to destroy the nation as a matter of stated ideology, and are otherwise guilty of real crimes.”

Some said cyber-texting, unlike workplace sexual harassment, is victimless. But Weiner’s lies and humiliations had at least one victim — Abedin — though she stands by his side, urging people to forgive him.

To further complicate matters, a 23-year-old woman with whom the 48-year-old Weiner cyber-texted expresses disgust at him, calling him “a perpetually horny middle-aged man.” Even if she willingly engaged, he seems to have taken advantage of her reported reverence for him as a passionate political figure.

In the latest polls, Weiner, who in June was five points ahead of his nearest opponent, Christine Quinn, now is nine points behind her.

His continued parsing of the facts hasn’t helped. “Some of these things happened before my resignation, some of them happened after,” he said at the press conference, “but the fact is that that was also the time that my wife and I were working through some things in our marriage.” Those “things,” he neglected to say, were the identical behavior from him earlier.

New York’s National Organization for Women has called on Weiner to drop out, saying he’s “clearly and compellingly unfit for public office.” But in an era when extramarital affairs and lies about them, even with prostitutes and interns, don’t keep politicians down for long, some Americans are struggling with whether this should be regarded as a matter between Weiner and his wife.

It no longer can be, now that he’s revealed the truth of his character. Who wouldn’t he sell out for his own needs? And what good is it to support the right causes if you’re unethical and disloyal even to the most important person in your life?

Leaders should set a higher standard. As Queens video company owner Kishore Belani, who recently donated to Weiner’s campaign, told the Times, “For children, this is not a good politician to learn from.”

It’s Abedin’s choice if she wants to stay married to a sleazebag. But Belani, a father, is done helping resurrect one.