Diary of a Rock Balancer ::

Sooooo. . . perhaps another testament to the magic of vulnerability, patience, and reflection. . .

This photo was captured 24 hours after zero.

This creation i shared yesterday never really materialized until it began getting dark. I almost didn’t even pursue the possibility because its size seemed so beyond my capacity at the time, and with the remaining light, most photographic potential became shots in the dark, in a sense.

Although the size of this arrangement made it potentially dangerous, the remote location, or for reasons i was not yet aware of, justified my leaving it up, almost certain it would fall naturally by morning. . .

Today’s forecasted wind was relatively high, but i defiantly raced back to the scene this morning, hoping to catch it still alive. I pushed my scooter full-speed without really knowing why. . . Anyway, the rush proved meaningless as i delighted in finding it still intact. Not even a particular favorite aside from such an elegant and massive top rock. . .

Sometimes it’s not always easy sharing my heart with an ever-growing digital audience (240K now!). I never tried, nor expected to have such a wide reach with this page. And i recognize my expression of life and feelings can never be fully aligned with every person who follows my work. That said, one of the great challenges for any artist is to have courage in sharing heart and soul, whatever it is that decides to flow forth. I realize my expression (particularly some recent use of language) offends some people… but alas, Although I’m thankful for every fan, I will never water down my creative expression to fit inside of the thinnest comfort bubbles. My expression is raw experience, and i will not censor it. Nor will i continue to attempt to justify it. It simply is. and anyone who feels the need to impose arrogant moral authority should check themselves in the metaphysical mirror and realize they really have no control over anything. for the vast minority of these people, Unfollow away! judge away! It’s all you, and THAT’S LIFE. a good message for myself as well.

Now, moving forward, I spent most of yesterday milling and reflecting on all this recent social media nonsense. Partially disgusted by some people’s frailty of comfort and need to impose control over my expressive language, despite the fact it was only used in the context of sharing purely positive experience, and in no way negative.

I sat in the sun, burning, inside and out, meditating with this balance, for most of the day. I considered deleting this digital universe and sticking to my website only. Instead, I decided to ban many people from this page yesterday, who seemed to have more interest in trolling than appreciating the raw heart and soul I dedicate to my work, which i really don’t need to share at all. I also spoke with a few friends who have a much greater sense of my character than any unproductive critic or troll, and I was reminded not to let such pointless criticism weaken my spirit. and that the vast majority of followers show me nothing but huge support and encouragement to continue. So thank you for that! ALWAYS! It was solely my fault for letting small critics trigger my sensitive nature.

This balance stood with me through all those hot hours of contemplation, despite the breezes, despite everything. And all day, a faint hope lingered, hinting at a second opportunity to capture this creation in light more suitable of its worth than the night before.

It all seemed fruitless (photographically) until I had the privilege of a rare dolphin sighting in my peripherals, a pod of them silently slinking up and and down through the water’s surface. It was then, when i finally reached MY zero, and realized that breathing was my greatest medicine, that nothing mattered aside from the divine beauty of here and now. My milling through the scorching sun all day was not in vain, although I had reached my body’s physical limits. I was precisely where i needed to be in those moments. And almost immediately following the dolphins, the whole northeastern sky lit up in soft fire. It was all a perfect resolution to a long day of psychological evolution. I couldn’t have asked for anything more in those moments, it was all so beautiful.

I went on to finally dismantle my creation once darkness fell (I recorded a video of that crash as well).. and then rallied in full speed excitement across the dirt roads on my scooter back home for the night, with a renewed spirit. . .