Householders across UK face deluge of local news crews

Besieged householders have been recounting tales of horror as they opened their doors and met an unstoppable river of regional news teams.

‘After the heavy rain subsided it was all quiet.’ said eye witness Sheila Silvester, 47. ‘But then there was this deafening roar of rival news crews surging down the High Street.’

‘They were on us in a flash; all my tea and rich tea biscuits were swept away by a tsunami of camera crews and sharp suited hacks. Now everyone has seen my outdated bathroom suite and swirly patterned carpets it’ll months to get this place redecorated and back on its feet.’

Health officials have advised the public that there shouldn’t be any long term health hazards from the media exposure. Meanwhile, news outlets have promised to wash their hands of the affected communities as soon as the story has abated.

Were you affected by the journalistic flooding this weekend? Do you have cameraphone footage? Send it to us now and we will spin this story out even further…