Dec 7, 2013

Hating the feeling of loving you more than myself

Yes, I hate it. When I felt that I started loving you more
than myself, I cried louder, and louder. Once I promised myself that I will not
love anyone more than myself. Though,
it was difficult, I practiced, i succeeded, and still trying to do the same.

For a while, I cooked for
myself. I groomed myself. I shopped for myself. I laughed for
myself.... and I lived for myself. I became quite a happy person for some
time of my life. I loved to see the green world around me. I loved the
smile of my face.I started admiring the
happiness of others. I was happy, very happy. This is all I
wanted, I desired....I am HAPPY....

But my promise now seems broken. I hate it. I hate it the
most. I am unable to control my tears rolling out of my blank eyes. I
don’t have much desire in life. I wanted to love ‘Myself’ the most but I am failing once again. Once
again. I have started loving someone more than my soul. I have started
thinking of somebody before I think of myself. I started caring somebody more
than I care for myself. My concern is bigger for somebody, than for myself. I don’t want all
these to happen, once again. Nobody can actually learn my pains. Nobody can walk
my path wearing my shoes.