Why You Should Say Yes to an Epidural

This is the fourth of a five part guest blog series by Susan Patton, a.k.a. “The Princeton Mom,” who found fame (and a recent TIME 100 nomination) from her controversial views on marriage in her book, Marry Smart. While you may not always agree with her, you’ll definitely want to hear her (often surprising!) stance on parenting’s hottest topics.

Any kind of childbirth is natural, and how you handle it is up to you. I understand the idealistic desire to go completely natural, i.e., without any medication to expedite labor or manage labor pains. It makes you feel like a SuperMom! But realistically, drugs can be a very good thing, and you shouldn’t be so quick to refuse them. It’s not good for you or your baby to be in an over-extended labor. At nine months gestation, the baby is done. And sometimes under doctor’s orders you need to get him out of the oven before complications arise.

If your doctor wants to induce labor, it’s because it’s time for the baby to be born. Don’t argue with her. And as for pain medication… yes, by all means you should accept any and all recommendations by your doctor to lessen the pain. Suffering to the max in childbirth is no badge of honor, and honestly, even if you are medicated, there is still plenty of pain that will stay with you for weeks. Don’t be such a hero! Save your strength whenever you can. You’ll need it in your first few weeks after delivering your baby.

When I was an expectant mother for the first time, natural childbirth without drugs was considered the only way to deliver your baby. Thankfully, my best friend had her baby boy six months before I had mine, and she shared with me this most important of all advice for pregnant women. “When they wheel you into the labor and delivery room at the hospital, and the doctor asks if you want an epidural, the answer is ‘yes, yes I want an epidural. Please give me an epidural.’” She was so right. Since then, I’ve shared this sage advice with every pregnant woman I’ve known.

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Susan Patton became known as “The Princeton Mom” after a letter she wrote for publication in her alma mater’s newspaper, entitled “Advice for the Young Women of Princeton—the Daughters I Never Had,” went viral. Overnight, her reflections on what she’s learned about marriage and motherhood in the four decades since graduating sparked an international dialogue. A human resources consultant and executive coach, and recently nominated for the TIME 100, she is the proud mother of two Princeton sons and a long-haired dachshund named Lucille. Follow her at @ThePrincetonMom and www.princetonmom.com. read more

How dare you come down on anyone for how they choose to have their baby. If you were actually providing some factual information to back up your view on epidurals, I may take you seriously. Maybe you should do a little research on the various ways to give birth – vaginally, c-section, with meds, without meds – and then write an informed post to give mothers to be the BEST possible advice. I personally gave birth vaginally without medication and it was the most wonderful experience of my life. I didn’t do it because I was trying to be a “hero” or because I wanted to prove something. I did it for the health and well being of my child. Did you know that it can take six weeks for the medication in the epidural to leave the baby’s body? Their tiny bodies can’t process things like ours can. There are TONS of reasons why non-medicated birth is beneficial to both mom and baby. Just do some research. But, the difference between me and you is that I would never judge or come down on someone for how they choose to give birth. It’s not my right, and it’s certainly not yours.

***For moms who want to make an informed decision: read Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth and watch The Business of Being Born on Netflix.

There are reasons NOT to have an epidural. Having a drug free labor and birth was amazing to me. I was able to experience and feel everything. I was able to bond and breastfeed right away too. I didn’t have any complications. I’ve heard of people getting headaches from epidurals and suffering from numbness and tingling afterwards. Do your research and decide what’s best for you.

Thank you for your advice, but I would not make this generalization to all pregnant women. I’m not some crazed SuperMom intent on earning a “medication free” hero badge, but I’ve successfully delivered two children without an epidural and never felt like I needed one. Just like with every medical procedure, an epidural does involve risks and side effects: migraine headaches, infection at injection site, post-delivery numbness, etc. Now that I’m currently pregnant with my third, I plan to listen to my medical professionals and my own body to make sure I make the best choice for this upcoming delivery.

I had an all natural (drug-free) labor with my first, and plan to do so again with my 2nd. Your post makes it sound like natural childbirth is a bad thing. My water broke before I had any contractions, so my doctor wanted to give me pitocin to speed up the process. I wanted to wait it out to see if my contractions would progress on their own, because pitocin can equal stronger contractions, which could equal the need for an epidural. Despite her multiple attempts to change my mind, I waited it out, and the contractions DID progress in the next couple of hours. Because I had no drugs, I could clearly feel the need to push each time, and my body practically did the work on its own. A woman’s body is designed to have a baby (naturally), so there’s nothing wrong with choosing to do what God created our bodies to do. Just my two cents, but to each her own!

I don’t really agree with this article. Sure, if you want an epidural that is up to you and there is nothing wrong with that but giving this advice to every pregnant person you know? What makes your way better than without pain medication? Why can’t each woman make her own decision? I don’t think a woman should accept “any and all recommendations by their doctor to lessen the pain” like this article states. Each woman has a choice. You say it’s dangerous to let labor go for an extended period of time. That is an extremely broad and unresearched statement. In fact, studies show that pitocin and epidurals increase the risk of high blood pressure and chances of c-sections. My friends doctor started her on pitocin as soon as she arrived to the hospital to “expedite” her labor and her blood pressure sky rocketed, her baby became distressed and had difficulty breathing on her own after birth and had to be in NICU for several days. Obviously that’s just one incident but just because a doctor says you should do something doesn’t mean you don’t have a decision in the matter. I just think no matter what a woman decides is her choice, and you can’t make some blanket statement that ALL women should get epidurals.

And what are you qualifications to give this advice? Are you a child birth educator, doula, midwife, RN, Ob-gyn, lactation consultant? Although you graduated from Princeton was your focus maternal health, public health, etc? So again I’ll ask – what are you scientific qualifications that allow you to make statements like “drugs can be a very good thing” or “nine months gestation, the baby is done” and the worst “don’t argue with her [the doctor].”
Your advice is terrible regardless of where you stand on the pain med debate. Ladies, do yourself a favor and follow reasonable, scientifically backed advice. And The Bump find some new commentators who back up their statements. I can see why the c-section/maternal intervention rate is so high in this country… ridiculously, poor written articles like this.

I REALLY hope this article is a JOKE. It is filled with naivety and misinformation. First, inductions are NOT always necessary when doctors recommend them. Watch the movie “The Business of Being Born,” and it will blow your mind. Second, drugs are NOT a good thing, and epidurals cross the placenta and go right into the fetus. Non-epidural babies are MUCH MORE alert than epidural babies at birth. Third, a woman would not go through the pain of a drug-free, natural birth just to be “Superwoman.” Barring any complications, a woman would only do it out of the unconditional love she has for her unborn child because she knows it is the BEST thing for their health. All pregnant women should do their homework long before they get to the delivery room and make educated decisions on their birth plan. This article DISGUSTS me and does a great disservice to future moms and their babies.

Ah yes! Women of America need to be good little girls and do as they’re told. Never mind that 95% of women have a body that is physically capable of having a completely unmedicated birth. Never mind that you can be you own hero by birthing the way YOU choose to. Don’t you dare stand up for yourself! You are not powerful! You aren’t capable of handling your body. Be compliant. Be a good patient. Doctors know everything and only make decisions that are in your best interest. Just lie down and do what the doctor says.

I am guessing Susan is a smart and wise woman, but I wouldn’t believe it based on this strong opinion. I do not believe that an epidural is the best choice for every mother. The key word is choice. Doctors want their patients to have pain meds and epidurals for more reasons and circumstances other than “extended labor” and past the due date. My doctor told me directly he prefers women laboring with epidurals because it is much easier for him and gives a more controlled birth experience. Moms out there, go true “all natural” if your heart desires and your labor and delivery allows a healthy and safety for you and your babe! Any woman, medicated or not should feel like they accomplished a great deal. Giving birth IS a huge task and accomplishment. Sometimes, hard work (labor) deserves some celebration. It’s as if you are saying all of those that choose natural births treat those who choose medicine induced labor as inferior. this is not an absolute truth.You have a point to say that an epidural is a good option, but you are so wrong to say it is the only and best one. Furthermore, doctors are human and make mistakes. They grow impatient and are not the end all to knowing everything, especially not knowing what is best for every laboring mother. I wish I believed otherwise.
I have typed way more than I anticipated. I have give more attention to this ridiculousness than I want to. Ladies, make your own choice. Think for yourself and your baby.

This is probably the worst advice I’ve ever read on the subject. Don’t educate yourself at all, ignore the possible consequences of epidurals and inductions (of which there are many), and just go along with what you’re told. Way to empower women.

I almost don’t know where to begin responding to this poorly written article. Telling women to just do whatever their doctor tells them to do and not argue with them is insane. There is a very small percentage of inductions that are indeed medically necessary. Early inductions increase the risk of cesarean sections and increase the risk baby will be premature and end up in the NICU. Epidurals increase risk of prolonged labor, infection, injury to mother and of course cesarean sections.
Choosing an unmedicated birth is about so much more than wanting to feel like a super mom (how incredibly condescending of you to say that). Do your research before you write nonsense like this. Choosing to labor with no medically unnecessary interventions is the safest way to labor. Not to mention the indescribable oxytocin “high” you get after birth that facilitates mom/baby bonding is interrupted when artificial pitocin is used.
If I think to come back to this article I will gladly post several evidenced based research articles that point out the risks and benefits of inductions and Epidurals. To any women reading this, please know that this article is everything that’s wrong with our maternity care in this country.

This article is really sad, misleading and discouraging. It’s pretty clear to me that the author has not experienced labor without an epidural, which makes me wonder why she gives this one-sided, uninformed advice to every pregnant woman she’s known.

For women who choose not to get an epidural- it is NOT about “being a hero”! That actually offends me to think it’s about “showing off” shows how little the author has researched this topic. Women choose a birth without an epidural because epidurals and inductions have several risks. With an epi, you can’t feel how hard you’re pushing….you’re pushing is less effective… you’re much more likely to tear… they can slow down or stop labor… you can hemorrhage… you feel strangely disconnected from your body (numb)… the list goes on. Pitocin makes your contractions up to 3x stronger than a natural birth, which causes more pain and leads to women begging for an epidural.

Epidurals commonly cause baby and/or Mom’s heart rate to drop (or blood pressure, or both!) causing a “get baby out quick!” panic. This panic leads to episiotomies, use of forceps, vacuums and c-sections. (Episiotomy = more PAIN, more time to heal.)

Susan says herself in the article even if you get an epidural you still experience pain for weeks, while a non-epidural birth has almost instant recovery. Let’s be more confident in our bodies, ladies. The comment about not arguing with your doctor is ridiculous, you should always ask questions- they will induce people at 39-40 weeks just because they are tired of being pregnant, without any real reason. And you’d be surprised how often inductions get suggested based on a doctor’s vacation schedule.

Research birth without an epidural for yourself. Look into a midwife and a doula! Ignore ignorant articles like this.

This is a horrible article with horrible advice. As women we’re supposed to build each other up and empower each other. This article does the opposite by telling us we’re not capable of an unmedicated birth and the only option is to erase the pain with drugs. Nothing could be further from the truth.

I am a mother of three amazing children. My first was born with an epidural. The experience (for me) went downhill quickly after being poked in the spine five times trying to administer the medication. After receiving it mine and my baby’s heart rate dropped significantly and I was told I had to get the baby out quickly. I pushed so hard for over an hour and not being able to feel anything, I tore badly. She was born not breathing properly and in distress and had to be put on oxygen immediately. My blood pressure dropped and I threw up and then blacked out. My daughter spent the night in the NICU and I wasn’t able to nurse her until the next day.

I had my second daughter and my son totally unmedicated. I was determined to NOT repeat my first daughters’ birth. My second daughters’ birth was so smooth, only pushing for 10 minutes and she was perfect. The medical staff were bringing students in so they could observe what a baby is supposed to look like after birth. My son was born posterior and I still had him without medication and was happy with my decision.

I was recovered and up and walking within minutes of having them both and only stayed one day in the hospital. There are so many benefits to going unmedicated. Please do your research. If you want to go unmedicated, line up your support system and absolutely get a doula. I would also recommend a midwife as opposed to an MD.

Ladies, you CAN do it without meds. You ARE a hero because you show other women that with your strength you can bring a child into this world without being bullied into thinking you’re too weak to handle it.

Birth is such an individual choice and no woman should ever be made to feel belittled for her choices.

Ugh. This article may scare ftms into unnecessary medical interventions that could put themselves or their babies at risk! Certainly it is a woman’s choice to handle her labor however she wants, but to assume a woman wants a natural labor because she wants to be “supermom” is absolutely ridiculous. Most times a natural birth is much safer for both baby and mom. And frequently doctors schedule inductions because it is convenient for them-maybe they have a vacation planned, or are worried about pressure from insurance companies or higher-ups. Remember, an estimated due date is ESTIMATED. Some babies are ready at 37 weeks and some babies are ready at 42. Please please please-first time moms- ignore this article. How you labor is your decision, not some writer who thinks she has all the answers and not some doctor who scares or pressures you into something that is not usually necessary. And if you can’t handle it, that’s ok too. you are still supermom :-)

Perhaps you should stop giving guidance if you don’t know what you’re talking about or at least provide reasons why you’re offering medical advice that may have associated risks and what those risks might be. Why not just tell all women to have C-Sections or give birth in twilight sleep? “Why go through all the trouble of laboring? Those of us that went to Princeton know better.” Perpetuating a climate of fear by suggesting that birthing is suffering is not helpful to new mothers. Why this website gives you a forum is beyond me but to disparage women that choose to give birth naturally and praise women that opt for medical intervention without informing themselves is shameful. Maybe you should tell new expectant mothers to exercise, eat a healthy diet, go some form of birthing classes to educate themselves and have a birth plan rather than advising them that drugs should be their first option.

This is rediculous. It is not “unrealistic” to think you can experience unmedicated childbirth like so many millions of women before you. There is a misconception that women only choose unmedicated births for bragging rights. Absurd! How about not wanting to increase your need for a C-section? How about wanting the freedom to get up and walk around during labor? To be able to control the lower half of your body? These were my reasons and you know what? I ENJOYED my 15 hour labor with my first child. That’s right. Yes I felt some pain, but so will you even with your epidural. The pain was manageable. My memories of the whole even are very fond. Can you say the same of your medicated birth?

This is such an ignorant article that it is almost unbearable to read. It is pure opinion pushed on the reading audience with no medical insight or knowledge. It’s reckless opinion into an important topic that should be researched by each mother when trying to create a birthing plan. Furthermore, it insinuates that the mother’s who choose to refuse pain medicines are trying to be heros or “super moms”. In fact, many women are making the decision due to the complications and side effects that various pain meds and interventions can bring. Many women are not buying into “because the doctor tells you so” mentality. We have research and education availble at our fingertips. Many of us are not blinded by the business of healthcare and YES it is a business and I know firsthand because I work in it. You clearly have not researched the many issues of maternity care in America inspite the millions of dollars being poured into it. Many women who choose true natural birth are not looking forward to the pain and they are not trying to be heros or prove anything. They are willing to manage the pain naturally for the total health and wellness of their babies. I, personally, am neither anti-epidural or pro-pain meds. I am for flexible, integrated birthing. I am for women making educated decisions on what they feel is best for them and their baby. I am for women not buying into the type of garbage articles like the one I just read.

I had three medication free births, and the last was at home. Being able to walk around during labor was very important to me. Also, I would disagree with “If your doctor wants to induce labor, it’s because it’s time for the baby to be born. Don’t argue with her. ” My jerk OB wanted to induce me at 39 weeks because he had a medical conference to get to and didn’t want to miss the birth. ($) My babies can come when they’re ready.

Wow. This goes entirely against ACOG’s own most recent guidelines for women and their care providers in preventing the primary cesarean. I am sad to see such a shameful article filled with misinformation circulating.

I think this article is misleading….not every situation negates an epidural..and sometimes you have to follow your instinct even if its contrary to your Dr., I’m not saying by any means but you of your life in danger…but in all 3 of my births I have experienced instances where this is true, …its not wrong if some one says “here take this”….for you to ask why…

Obviously, each woman should do what’s right for them, but epidurals carry risks, such as a sudden drop in blood pressure; nausea and vomiting; increased chances of interventions like Pitocin, forceps, or caesarean section; and even possible nerve damage. So don’t pretend that epidurals are a risk-free way to have a painless birth. Women should educate themselves about all their options, benefits and risks, including less risky alternatives to manage pain.

Why does any mother have to take the “advice” of other mothers? Why in the world should everyone get an epidural? Shouldn’t it be up to the mom? I hate articles that seem to say they have all the answers. Every mom should get to choose how they want to give birth, epidural or not. And asking questions or declining a doctor’s offer of an epidural is not arguing.

Patton is clearly entitled to her opinion and The Bump intro to this post suggests that it is *supposed* to be at least somewhat inflammatory, but it seems pretty irresponsible for this non-doctor, non-midwife to use her fame to spread information that is not strictly true (or at least more complicated than she’s presenting it as being).

Lots of women have epidurals. Lots of women don’t. No problem there. But whether or not you have an epidural is not just about “being a hero” and handling the pain. After you get an epidural, your mobility is greatly diminished. Unfortunately, being able to move around, squat, etc. are all things that help labor progress. Getting an epidural will *likely* reduce your pain (though for some women it doesn’t), but it is also likely to extend your labor and greatly increase your chances of having a C-section or a forceps delivery. An epidural can needlessly turn birth a more complicated medical procedure.

This is not to say that getting an epidural is an absolute no-no. I only want to suggest that epidurals have more consequences than just numbness, and it seems important that all pregnant women know this. Eyes wide open, and all that.

One last thing. Patton mentions, “If your doctor wants to induce labor, it’s because it’s time for the baby to be born.” Actually, if your doctor wants to induce labor, it is because you have passed your ESTIMATED due date. Sometimes estimated due dates are wrong (even with ultrasounds), and sometimes doctors induce labor for babies that actually haven’t yet come to term.

You took the words right out of my mouth! Exactly what I was thinking when reading this.

I don’t like when people say, if your doctor tells you to do something than do it. No, listen to your gut and ask questions first. Don’t be afraid to speak up. It’s your body, your baby. You have a say.

Due dates most definitely can be off by a day or even weeks and in some cases it’s okay to go past your due date. Don’t induce unless medically necessary.

Also, before deciding on whether to get an epidural, do your research and read about them first.

When I had my first child I was unable to receive an epidural due to medical reasons. So I had to have a natural birth which was so unbearable but I made it through, God willing. I heard that having a epidural make birthing so much easier. there’s been some known cases where there were complications due to an epidural but for the most part it is safe and I would say that if you can get one…Go for it!!!

I think this article is really unfortunate since it misinforms mothers. An epidural isn’t just an epidural. It is a powerful drug that goes into a baby’s system. Both of my children were born without an epidural, and it had nothing to do with me trying to be “SuperMom” or having a “badge of honor.” I made an educated decision not to have an epidural because epidurals cross the placenta and have unknown effects on newborns. Could any of these effects be long-term? Not enough studies have been done yet. But, I do know that after both of my babies were born, the nurses were amazed at how “alert” they were. The nurses were not used to seeing many epidural-free babies.

Patton writes, “Don’t be such a hero! Save your strength whenever you can. You’ll need it in your first few weeks after delivering your baby.” I had A LOT of strength and energy in the minutes, hours, and weeks after childbirth. Yes, it was painful to labor naturally, but it was WORTH IT. The pain INSTANTLY went away after the births, and I was able to hop off the table and use the restroom on my own. I did not have to wait for any numbness to wear off or drug to work its way through my system.

It is false that all doctor’s want to induce labor because it is “time for the baby to be born.” A due date is only an estimate, and barring any complications, a baby can be born up to two weeks after its due date. Sometimes, doctors recommend labor induction to work around their schedules. Pitocin (the drug used for inductions) is synthetic (not natural) and also crosses the placenta into the baby. As with an epidural, not enough research has been done on whether or not Pitocin causes long-term effects on babies. Pitocin can also be a slippery slope leading to a C-section. Pitocin forces the uterus to contract (regardless of whether or not the mother and baby are ready), the labor contractions are more intense (I know because I experienced childbirth with and without Pitocin), the pain causes mothers to ask for an epidural (I almost did), the epidural can slow down labor, and the longer labor can lead to a C-section.

Every mother has a different childbirth experience. If a mother chooses an epidural, it does not make her a bad mother. There are also times when medical complications require intervention. However, if pregnancy and labor are progressing normally, I would encourage all mothers to make educated decisions that are best for them and their baby. Remember that your doctors and hospitals should be on YOUR time schedule, you have the right to ask questions, and you have options.