I'm sorry to read about Pamela Weston for the first time here and about her early death. From her article, she lived a full and musically accomplished life. My preferenc is a fighter's end, but for the grace of God.....

When medicine provides no relief from an unbearable disease, assisted suicide makes a lot more sense than the barbaric methods that comprise the common means of voluntary death available to people in England and in most of the USA.

It's difficult, and should be difficult, to pass legislation permitting assisted suicide, because without careful writing and implementation, there's such an obvious potential for abuse, including pressure and undue influence from would-be heirs. Also, those of us who want to support such legislation are reluctant to do so in public, because we have families and friends of our own, including elderly and gravely ill people who might worry, "Does that mean s/he wishes I would die soon?" Of course not. I don't want to hurt these people I love.

But, I'm thinking much more selfishly than that: Someday, the end of my own life should be my own business. Now, I'm healthy and I love my life. But someday, if develop some unbearable, terminal disease and I need to choose to get it over with, I want that choice available. I don't want to get stuck with some disgusting, amateurish method, such as jumping in front of a train (and traumatizing the conductor and everybody else on board) or shooting myself (victimizing the person who discovers the mutilated corpse). By then, I might not be physically capable of joining the do-it-yourself club anyway. I wouldn't ask someone else to assist me in what's now a criminal act in my jurisdiction.

Instead, it's likely no legislation will have passed here by then. No merciful alternative will be available. More likely I'll get trapped into weeks, months, even years of suffering hell on earth, while the prescription drug and equipment cartels and the greedy doctors they co-opt as their street pushers conspire to ignore my written directive and enrich themselves by keeping me technically alive on machines and drugs, against my will. Think of all the people in your own lives who've ended up that way while well-intentioned but helpless relatives at bedside have blathered on, defensively, with all the usual triteness: so courageous, such a fighter, hanging on until the end, we're doing everything we can, never give up hope, blah blah blah blah blah, while whatever's left of a human being lies there unable to move or speak while wishing someone would just reach over and pull the damn plug.

I admire Pamela Weston for having the courage to make her private choice public, and thereby endure the scrutiny of many preachy busybodies during the last weeks of her life, in order to bring much-needed focus to this difficult situation. Clarinet players are good at details, and it's clear that she had to be, because the present system made navigating the minutiae of the application process bizarrely difficult for her. I'm sorry she got Myalgic Encephalomyelitis at all. I hope the idiot who did that to her by going around "social-kissing" while sick comes down with a double dose of guilt. And I'm sorry she had to go through so much extra hassle at the end.

I come from a family of doctors -- my grandfather, father and brother. My grandfather died when I was 1 year old, so I don't remember him, but I've had long discussions with my father and brother about treatment of dying patients. They both said that assisted suicide is extremely common.

Even if we reject assisted suicide, I think everyone accepts that a patient can refuse further treatment, knowing that death will come quickly. But there's an indistinct line between refusing treatment and going to the Dignitas clinic. Every doctor who treats the elderly knows patients who hoard a lethal quantity of sleeping pills, and many if not most doctors will prescribe a sufficient quantity to permit this.

It's not a black/white divide between refusing treatment and calling Dr. Kevorkian, and it's rationally, emotionally and ethically defensible for each person to make the decision. I support Pamela Weston absolutely. I just hope I never have to make it for myself, though if the time comes, I know what I'll do.

It can not be underestimated the joy that her books and articles have given me personally. No one else has ever taken the time and effort it takes to put together her three books about clarinet virtuosi of the past. After decades of research she leaves a great source of information for the rest of us to take part of. My appreciation of her work is really indescribable.
Rest in peace Pamela!

At least I haven't reached the level of playing Pamela has only to be thwarted by this condition.

The biggest problems for me is general muscular fatigue and muscular pain while walking (sometimes I can't manage a single stairs without taking it really slowly and other times I could run up a flight or two no problem before), and also the control in my hands so it takes longer for me to work on an instument as I take frequent breaks to let things relax (and this does impact upon playing as well). Sometimes I just won't work at all for several days or even a week until I feel up to it.

I just thought I was generally lazy as this has been going on for just over 20 years (and of post viral origin), but more recently knew something wasn't right as I've been havign trouble with my hands (they don't always do what I want them to do - feels like the same kind of weakness you get in your hands while gripping onto a rope or a bar and someone's making you laugh), so I went to my GP who referred me to a specialist, who in turn referred me to another specialist who confirmed things - so at least with a diagnosis there is the treatment.

But there is plenty of research and whatnot going on into this condition, so while there may not be a cure as such, there are already various treatments on offer and new treatments being discovered that do offer long term relief.

In her letter she said that she had no family, but the first comment on the letter on the Times web site said that her brother, sister, nieces, and nephews were distressed by her death. ¿Does anyone know the real story?

Chris, very sorry to hear this. I gather it's a longstanding problem of post-viral origin, but something seems to be making it worse. I have done a ferocious amount of research on mobile phone radiation and health, and there is a lot of evidence of neurological conditions and fatigue being made worse by microwave radiation. If you can, get someone with a microwave meter to check the environments where you live and work. And if you use a mobile phone, rather use a landline, see if that helps.

The Russians have had a disease called Microwave Sickness on their clinical diagnosis books for over 30 years. Neurological illnesses are especially mentioned, and the Russian government guidelines say *no* mobile phone use for anyone with neurological conditions.

Chronic fatigue is very well known to be associated with microwaves. I can always tell when I'm near an active mobile phone mast from the very particular fatigue I get, which lasts from four to six hours afterwards. I feel the fatigue, then look for the mast and find it. And I've been near nasty-looking masts with no problem, and then when we measure, it turns out the mast is not radiating, so it's *not* psychosomatic.

But all the best, I suffered this some years back after a viral infection, and it was really awful.

I do have a mobile, but rarely use it as I'm not a fan of them (I only keep it on me whenever I'm driving anywhere in case of an emergency) and as I work from home I use my landline in preferrence.

I know a lot of people can't seem to function without their mobile 'phones as it's become an important accessory for them, but I'm definitely not one of them and never have relied on them enough so I can easily do without (and I don't have a sat nav either).

Very glad to hear this, but seriously, see if you can't get your environment checked out, for both power line and microwave radiation, checking all appliances in the house as well. You cannot tell what is going on without a meter.

We have "cured" cases even of diagnosed leukaemia just by getting someone to move their bed from next to an electrical distribution board, or moving away from a mobile mast ... the doctors' letters note the "unexplained remission", but they have no clue what's going on.

But I wonder if anyone on this list can honestly say, that they take their lives in their hands every time they go to their repairman?

My guy, Paul Fix, has been in the same spot in at the bottom of Bree St in Johannesburg for at least the last 25 years, when he first helped me fix a saxophone that was falling to pieces. The area where he lives and works has now decayed to the point where he specifically gets a time of arrival for me, so that he can send a bodyguard downstairs to make sure I get into the building OK (all the lights are out, it's like entering a cave).

I tried another repairman at a shop that the orchestral musicians use -- no names, but this guy cannot deal with a bass clarinet, he messed it up good and proper twice, so I will only go to Paul.

If any of you ever end up performing in Johannesburg (which has heard some very fine clarinetists) and need a good repairman at short notice, Paul Fix is up there with the best in the world, I'm sure of that -- but it's a nightmare to get to him, I only do it in absolute emergencies. The corner his building is on is a hijack hot spot, and people die on those pavements every week, shot, stabbed, struck with blunt objects. I am no shrinking violet, I walk everywhere in Jo'burg, but that corner gives me the absolute shakes, especially when I am carrying an instrument case.

So I cannot really begin to tell you how much I appreciate Chris's posts, because for the first time I've had a sense that I can really learn to make my own running repairs. There is so much good advice on this board, but his contributions in particular form a resource for all time on clarinet repair, especially for those of us who are out here in the sticks.

I have collected hundreds of scientific papers from around the world on microwaves and health, including the original founding papers from the Russians in the 1960s on which they based their diagnosis of "microwave sickness". Chronic fatigue is on *every* list of illnesses around masts. I have collected every single study on general health around masts done anywhere in the world -- *every single study* of general health around masts shows problems, including fatigue.

We have helped literally dozens of people with chronic fatigue get their health back, just by looking at their environment and acting on that. If I were around, I could check Chris's place in 15 minutes and see if there is a problem. Incidentally, I lectured university physics for many years, and spent at least a decade teaching medical students how to do specific absorption rate measurements with nuclear radiation. I specialised in electromagnetics and radio (been a licensed radio ham since 1975, set up and operating many radio stations) so I do know exactly what these measurements involve, and I am no techophobe. I work with a person who is an expert on health, and together we have solved many health problems which doctors here had been unable to cure.

You *cannot* see what is going on without measuring. I nearly moved into an apartment that seemed far away from any masts or pylons. When we measured, there was colossal power line radiation from buried cables.

There's a basic principle in medicine, a kind of "zeroth law" of being a doctor: DO NO HARM.

What I am suggesting here is perfectly harmless, it would take a few minutes to check. If there's no problem with electromagnetic fields, well, then *no harm* has been done, and you can cross it off the list of possible causes.

I would ask any practising medical doctor on this list or anywhere: you take ALL the drugs you prescribe in a day; list ALL their known side effects; and then put your hand on your heart, and say "I know for a fact I did no harm today." I shouldn't have mentioned the cases of leukaemia, yes of course I have no proof -- the people moved, the disease went into remission, we saw the doctors' letters, of course it may all be a coincidence. I've just seen it too often, that's all. But leukaemia is the main indicated condition of electromagnetic pollution, even the WHO rates power line radiation as a "possible environmental carcinogen" with childhood leukaemia particularly indicated.

As for being "on topic": without the contribution of people with knowledge and expertise, there is no "topic", there is no "thread", there is no board at all. Anything that might help Chris or anyone on this list suffering from the terrible phenomenon of chronic fatigue or related ailments, can only benefit all of us.

Sorry to involve you in this, Chris, but I would really like you to know how much I appreciate your contributions here. I really wish you all the best.

But I think I may have some small understanding why she chose to end her life. She had already lived most of her life and it was wonderful. The remainder of her life would have been one of increasing incapacity. If one is vibrant and used to a life of excellence, experiencing a life of inexorable deterioration is almost like torture. Ultimately it was her life to life, and I honor her decision to live it the way she chose.

As a side note I have enjoyed her transpositions of early music. For music written before the invention of the clarinet, many transpositions I've seen the editors simply transpose up a minor second and that it. This usually renders much early music only in the Clarion range. Pamela Weston's transcriptions for Schott she often uses the full range of the clarinet to create wonderfully music that is wonderfully satisfying to play.