Those crazy kids at DC Comics are always coming up with something crazy. Their thirst for grabbing attention knows no bounds. So I can’t say that I’m totally surprised by finding out that an issue of Supergirlfeatures a special Pink Kryptonite. And naturally this special element turns Superman totally gay.

The storyline comes from Supergirl Vol. 4 #79 and takes place in an alternate Earth One timeline (don’t ask) where Supes is exposed to Pink Kryptonite that makes him “flamboyant.” Again, this was written in 2003. In the panel above, Superman is seen hitting on Jimmy Olsen’s bowtie because he’s gay and attracted to the first man he sees. Duh. Below is the full page.

And as a special bonus, here’s a reminder of the issue of the 70s Lois Lane comic where she goes to a Black neighborhood to report on how “they” live…and goes into a machine to turn her Black before she goes. Hahahahaha this racism is killing me inside (c) Dave Chappelle.

Kryptonite represents weakness; green weakens his body, red weakens his soul. For a kryptonite to turn someone gay would mean that being gay is somehow a weakness. On the other hand, pink kryptonite is not a choice, it’s a condition he was born with.

Gay Superman is actually a great idea, if only to troll insecure nerds. Seriously though, it really wouldn’t take anything away from the character. Think about it this way: how many Supes-Lois “shippers” (that’s a thing kids say now, right?) there are. I’m drawing a blank on my end.

There was a dude who did what Lois does in that comic… only, y’know, real life. He wrote a book I had to read in HS. It was called Black Like Me. If I remember my high school feelings on it, it was… whatever.

Reading the entire page it seems to me that this is a one panel joke and not the actual point of the storyline (Supergirl is commenting strange things that she’s come across, and yes, a glowing rock that would change a person’s sexual orientation would be considered strange.)

I mean it’s not like anyone else has used the idea of Superman being gay as a gag in a joke, right?

What’s more insulting is the insinuation that all gay men are obsessed with clothes and/or know anything at all about ‘window treatments’. It’s like assuming all hetero men like to hunt animals because the guys on Duck Dynasty do, or all hetero men are cheaters, because Kanye West is hetero.

I’m not sure if “gay” is what I would read into that. It was written by Peter David, who is a pretty staunch gay rights activist, and has taken Rob Liefeld to task for his whole “I can’t wait to undo Shatterstar and Rictor being gay” diatribe. I think the pink kryptonite was supposed to make him effeminate, not gay. Which is a whole other misogynistic/sexist can of worms.