I am getting so fed up with myself!! I was never like this at all till I lost my baby! He was stillborn at full term to a cord accident two years ago. Now I am terrofied my other two kids ages 14 and 16 are gonna die from something to. I couldn't bear to lose another child. I am constantly checking them over and having them to the doctors and I feel like I'm a nutcase. I want to not do this anymore. My daughter has been tired and kid of sickly looking and now I'm worried it's leukaemia ! My son has high protein in his urine and high bilirubin so now I'm worried he's gonna die! Even though the doctors have checked and said that it's nothing to worry about it looks like Gilbert's disease. I wish I could change and be happy. I am wasting my life. I don't know what to do anymore. Yes I have tryed meds but nothing seems to work it's like my fear over powers everything.

First of all, hugs and my sympathies!!! A parent should never had to bury their child. Don't beat yourself up, it's normal for someone who's gone through something like you have to be anxious. Have you considered seeing a therapist? I've always had anxiety but it got really severe after I had several miscarriages. My therapist really helps as does Celexa.

If the meds weren't helping, the dosage was wrong, you weren't on the right one, or you didn't give them time to work. Do you mind if I asked why you tried?

I wish I could just believe my kids are ok. I think it stems from my baby. I went for a check up on a Wednesday 2 years ago and she said he was a happy baby, good heartbeat but he was breach. We booked my c section for that following Friday and the Wednesday night he tried to turn and he died. So it's hard to believe my kids are ok when you just never know what will happen. One minute my baby was food the next min he was dead. Then I still had to deliver him naturally and say goodbye. I am so scared to lose another child, my kids are my world and I love them so much, I just wish I could accept a cold is a cold not cancer, or a lump could be from something other then cancer! I just wish I could be the old me again .

Very sorry to hear about losing your child. I too lost my oldest son right before birth. It is a horrible experience. It makes sense that you would be very concerned with your children after that, I am called the helicopter mom in my family because I hover. Have you ever seen the show the Goldberg's? The mother is me. I think like the poster said above, therapy would be good in getting your grief and fears out in a safe environment. I can also tell you this 90 percent of leukemia cases are not in children. It is over 85 percent treatable in children and there would be many more symptoms in your child if they had it. I hope that helps a little. Cheers.