Oh, this poor, poor Canadian chappie. He's 34. He calls out a kid with a Mohawk because "we used to shave our heads." Then, he confronts brochacho wearing sunglasses at night in homage to Corey Hart, more likely than not. He then pulls the surrogate-father line of meddlin'.

Then, after noting that he WILL in fact, put the hammer down, he gets dropped, hit with a skateboard, dropped again, deshirted and kicked. In a final show of submission, he must watch from afar as his hat gets pissed on.

At the four-minute mark of this further proof of devolution, a fag-puffing mum enters the fray and asks a simple question: "Don't you fuckin' think it's fuckin' stupid to be fightin' fuckin' fightin' over bullshit ... if you knew it didn't 'appen?"

Fair question. But it's a good thing her advice went unheeded, as it enabled the world to see, at the 5:32 mark, the revolutionary head-butting-the-small-of-one's-back move. The rest of the fight, boring.