Finally – some seven hours later – Murphy’s spinners have worked out a line on his shocking Irn-Bru expenses claims. A Scottish Labour Party spokesperson said:

“As most people know, Mr Murphy drinks bucket loads of of Irn Bru. Over the years it’s thought that he has single-handedly kept the House of Commons Irn-Bru supplier in business. He has paid for it himself except for these two cans totaling £1.30.”​