The Latest In Baby Name Trends Will Make You Want To Leave The Planet

December 2, 2015

Baby name trends have a habit of bordering on the absolute insane. Back in the height of Twilight-mania, parents sprouted out mini Bellas and Jacobs. And then there was the news that parents were turning to more fruit and veg-influenced names for their little sprogs (little Kale, anyone?)

But now, according to the US-based Baby Center website, new parents have turned to a more unconventional source for baby names. Yep. They’re turning to Instagram filters for their inspiration.

Credit: jerseymomsblog.com

Now, before you get concerned about the number of mini ‘Toaster’s and ‘X Pro II’s infesting the nation’s playgrounds in the next few years, we had better clarify. New data shows that the name ‘Lux’ is up 75% in its list of most popular boys names. Ludwig (which also sounds pretty Harry Potter to us) is up 42%. Amaro is up 26%, Reyes up 10%, Hudson 4%, and poor old Kelvins are up 3%. We’re definitely feeling sorry for the Kelvins of the future. Just think of all the terrible underwear jokes they’ll get.

And it’s not looking much better for the girls. Juno jumped up 30%, Valencia was up 26%, and Willow 13%. At least these names are vaguely acceptable in general society…

Credit: petapixel.com

Are these names really that bad though?

Baby Center’s global editor-in-chief, Linda Murray, said:

“This is the first time we’ve seen technology break through as a source of name inspiration.”

Yeah, we’re going to say it now. This is one trend we’re going to blame on all the Millennials. Sorry guys.

When isolated, some of the names don’t really sound that bad. Valencia and Amaro are actually quite adorable. But can you imagine the conversation those poor kids are going to have in ten years’ time?

“Mum and dad, why did you name me Kelvin?”
“You were an ugly little shit. Just like photos sporting a Kelvin filter.”