1) I remember being a kid and seeing mannequins without clothes on, and up until about ten or eleven i didn't think women's breasts had nipples. i thought it was just plain smooth skin. i learned about the nipples from Just One of the Guys.

2) At some point around 12 or 13 a kid at school told me that women who are on Playboy have to have their vaginas sewn shut. I asked my Dad...he cleared it up for me.

Tue Nov 09, 2010 9:36 am

anomalyLoserface

Joined: 22 May 2008
Posts: 2622
Location: DFW, TX

I used to do the Pee Wee Herman Tequila dance thinking it was cool. I did it in front of some kids at school and I was told it wasn't. Mom and her friends always liked it......mean ass kids at school.

I also grew up thinking we weren't poor. Looking back, we were very poor and my upbringing was pretty plain. To this day, I still believe my mother is superwoman and can do anything. She's a bad-ass at life.

Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:32 am

erich

Joined: 15 May 2005
Posts: 3048

my dad has this way about him where he makes a joke in a way that doesn't sound like a joke, which really fucks with children. i definitely get this from him. anyway, he once came up with some technical sounding explanation for how inertia was responsible for not wanting to get out of bed in the morning, a body at rest etc. I mean, it made total sense to me as a little kid, so i just kind of grandfathered it into my later understanding of legitimate physics. then one day i'm in physics class and i just casually refer to this as a universal fact. the teacher just kind of gave me a weird look, because i was usually pretty on the ball about science stuff. i figured out that my dad was joking after i had already answered a coupled follow up questions about this "theory" and then had to do some rhetorical gymnastics to make it seem like i knew it was a joke all along and that i was only using it to illuminate a larger point on some next level shit. thanks dad.

when i was a little kid, i would be on the carnival and all the ride boys had the time of their lives playing jokes on my stupid ass. they would send me on impossible errands and everyone was in on it. it wasn't until i was like ten or so that i realised their was no such thing as polka dot paint and no such thing as a left handed monkey wrench. the worst thing was the sky hook, a non existant hook used to attach the bounce house, aka moon walk to the sky and keep it inflated. um, so spider would send me to rabbit, rabbit would send me to tubby, tubby would send me to someone else and finally i'd tire out. i'd spend countless hours looking for non existent items until finally one day my baby brother told me i was an idiot none of these things were real. i remember being dumbfounded as why they would do that to me then i cried. after that i didnt want to talk to any of the ride boys any more, i felt so betrayed by them, after that i only wanted to hang around the agents at their games, where i learned the valuable skills of calling, demonstrating 100 percent proficiency at mastering the games, and counter mc'ing.

to this day i really resent ride boys due to their fraternal hazing of me. they made me feel so stupid. after that i didnt want to be a ride boy i wanted to be an agent. i decided ride boys were idiots. before that i really looked up to ride boys. after their trickery of me, i would steal their hats and throw them off the rides.

Tue Nov 09, 2010 12:18 pm

Dr Sagacious

Joined: 01 Mar 2009
Posts: 1842
Location: Redford

When I was a little shit I thought penis was a slang term for dingaling or dingy.

I also thought testicles were a chemical, or a synonym for it. Imagine my mother's shock when she heard me singing very loudly in my front yard, "The testicles between us! The testicles betweeeeeen uuuss!"

Hah.

Tue Nov 09, 2010 1:15 pm

mancabbage

Joined: 29 Jun 2005
Posts: 9267
Location: london

I knew jesus was about as real as anna nicole smiths tits at about 10 years old, i was at a church of england sponsored school and after years of them cutting out d&t (making and painting stuff) lessons to learn about this fucking floating zombie alcoholic it finally dawned on me that it was bollocks. I told all the other kids, got in trouble for it.. lots. They called up my rents who acted all concerned only for my dad to tell me i was right afterward

Tue Nov 09, 2010 2:18 pm

theodora

Joined: 07 Sep 2008
Posts: 429
Location: Boulder, CO

Realizing around upper elementary, definitely by middle school, that my parents not only made mistakes, but often did some morally questionable things.

I remember going on my first plane flight & being amazed that you could just fly through clouds.

I remember my mum threw a bowl of porridge at my dad and screamed that she wanted a divorce. I misheard her & went to pre-school the next day & bragged to everyone about how my parents were going to get a dwarf. One of the teachers had to set me straight on that one. For some reason I liked the idea of a dwarf joining the family.

I believed that children were our future.

Edit# Oh yeah & my name is Joel.

Last edited by Plum Puddin' on Tue Nov 09, 2010 8:14 pm; edited 1 time in total

Tue Nov 09, 2010 7:51 pm

bbreakz

Joined: 08 Apr 2008
Posts: 948

Till about 7th or 8th grade I thought that when you got a girl pregnant you heard a click in her vagina. Some kid told me that when I was like in 4th grade and went awhile beleiving that one. Probably till my first sex ed class.

Tue Nov 09, 2010 8:07 pm

FranktheP

Joined: 21 Jul 2004
Posts: 1369
Location: East Coast, Fuck You!

I remember having a conversation in 7th grade gym class about what you "ate" when you had oral sex with a girl. One kid swore it had to taste like pizza.

I remember my inner voice when I was a kid was always Harry Kalas (Phillies announcer)

I remember the day I relaized that I was going to die some day. That people jsut do not live forever. I was sitting in a room by myself hanging out and it all came to me. I was deep as a puddle when I was 5.

Tue Nov 09, 2010 8:08 pm

Mr Jenkins

Joined: 13 Dec 2007
Posts: 608
Location: Aotearoa

5- 10
i was told farmers burning off shit were cloud farmers and that the smoke made the clouds.

Tue Nov 09, 2010 8:11 pm

Elorza

Joined: 18 Sep 2002
Posts: 1003
Location: east coast

Up until about middle school I thought "humping" was exclusively when dogs tried to bang fire hydrants. I blame cartoons for that one.

Tue Nov 09, 2010 8:14 pm

Raoul DeGroot

Joined: 30 Apr 2009
Posts: 2437
Location: Son Quest

Cartoons talk about humping all the time. That is true though.

Tue Nov 09, 2010 8:22 pm

Mr Jenkins

Joined: 13 Dec 2007
Posts: 608
Location: Aotearoa

not just cartoons

Tue Nov 09, 2010 8:24 pm

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