Expert Timing

Ever have the urge to let one rip scramble up on you? I don’t mean your everyday flatulence, I mean the ones that if you unintentionally directed at someone you will be brought up on charges for assault?

Took my lady out for dinner and the urge scrambled up on me. From where we were sitting, I could see a line for the bathroom and also lots of people waiting by the entrance/exit. Out of dire desperation I got the bright idea that if I knock a glass of water to the floor and let it rip at the same time no one would hear it.
So I knock the glass, it tips over, spills water onto my lady’s lap, she screams, jumps out of her seat, everyone looks at me, then I farted. Loudly.