Some are brilliant flights of fancy made real, others are like couture's answer to Alan Partridge's TV show pitches, dreamed up in a flap as deadlines loom: if they were any more obviously back-of-a-fag-packet, they'd have a health warning.

"What about trousers with three legs and a hole that your scrotum hangs out of instead of a fly?" "Sod it, that'll do."

The difference is that Partridge's plans for Youth Hostelling With Chris Eubank and Cooking In Prison got scornfully knocked back, whereas there's always a style journalist to laud anything designers come up with: daring redefinition, let the backward-looking bores walk around with only two legs in their trousers and their scrotum hidden, etc.

And some ideas are too close to call, which brings us to perforations. Designers are putting holes in jumpers, jackets, even shoes.

It's a way of making items lighter and more summery, but what are you meant to wear underneath shoes full of holes?

Socks or not, it's going to look weird.

Similarly, I thought Hermès' mesh jacket was really original, but it had none of the practical applications that a jacket should have - it wouldn't make you warmer and you might as well just hand your wallet to the nearest pickpocket - and its price tag looked like a government bail-out package. So what do you think?