The Official Supernatural: “Devil’s Bargain” (13.13) Live Recap Thread

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Yeah, I know. I’ve been putting this off. What can I say? The Nep Duo eps are a huge snore for me.

Starting now.

Boring recap of the Nep Duo storyline so far this season reminding why I’m finding it so tedious. You’d have thought the show could have found somebody more competent to do episode 13 of season 13.

Cut to Now. Castiel is staggering through the woods, bleeding, yelling Lucifer’s name. He passes out and is found the next morning by two pubescent budding serial killers who gloat over finding a dead body – until he wakes up and scares them off.

He goes back to that creepy old mental hospital the show’s been filming since … oh … “The End” in season five, at least, but no Lucifer.

Nope, Lucifer is stalking some poor Cupid, who’s just trying to pair up a young woman on roller skates with a guy who drops a wedding cake to catch her. Lucifer rewards the poor guy by stealing his grace, interrogating him about finding more angels, and then killing him basically for kicks. Lucifer does realize that said angel now has a soul and will go to Heaven, where he can be interrogated by other angels, right (that was the storyline for Castiel)? And that (also per Castiel’s lost grace storyline) this stolen grace will only burn away inside him and eventually kill him, right?

Oh, but wait. It’s the Nep Duo. They don’t do tedious things like check up on canon before writing their dreck.

Also, is anyone else totally over Lucifer by now? I mean, completely for the duration of the show?

Cue title cards.

Oh, hey, look, the show’s actual protagonists. Dean is talking to Castiel, who has turned up at the Bunker and is filling Dean in on his kidnapping. Don’t get me started on how dumb it was for the Brothers not to check up on Castiel and find this out for themselves.

Sam is freaked out by the news that Lucifer is back in town, even depowered. It’s probably also not the wisest thing for Castiel to get so detailed about alt-Michael’s threat to the SPNverse, considering Dean is right there. Sam asks about Mary. Castiel confirms that Lucifer said she was still alive.

Cut to Lucifer having some after-effects from his grace meal. Gee, consequences for that? Do tell. But mostly this is just an excuse for the writers to engage in more tasteless homeless person jokes. Yay.

Also, once again, what the hell happened to Lucifer using his wings to fly anywhere he wants in the world in nanoseconds? Instead, we have Lucifer feeling hungry (um … why?) and begging for money because he can’t just fly into a burger joint and out with a dozen burgers before anyone notices – oh, wait. He can.

Another homeless guy takes him dumpster diving and tells him about a healer named Sister Jo. Lucifer starts to get an evil idea, which means she is probably an angel.

Meanwhile, two characters I have even less interest in (Asmodeus and Ketch) are discussing Lucifer’s escape. Ketch twits Asmodeus a bit about how he was out of town and Asmodeus hedges that it was super-duper important then doesn’t kill Ketch. Instead, he tasks Ketch with killing Lucifer while Lucifer is still weak because apparently, we can kill archangels while they are lacking a bit of grace. How does that work, exactly, when Chuck said in season 11 that archangels are fundamentally different even from angels?

Dean apologizes to Castiel for not realizing he’d been captured. Castiel admits that getting captured was on him (and that he knows Dean would have done something crazy to try to break him out if he’d known), and angsts about Jack and Mary. Good times.

Sam comes back from wherever he was with Donatello in tow. Dean lays out his plan to get Jack and Mary back, and then slam the door before alt-Michael can get through. Then they show Donatello the Demon Tablet which, as a Prophet, Donatello might be able to read, even though his talents are kinda different from Kevin’s. Donatello asks for chicken wings.

Cut to a woman (Danneel Ackles’ character) in a church. She is taking money from an older woman with a walker and then heals her with white light. Yup. Angel. She does this to a bunch of other paying customers, too. This is Sister Jo.

As Castiel and the Brothers find out about the dead Cupid (and Castiel identifies him as an angel), and worry Lucifer might get his mojo back, Lucifer has appeared in the crowd waiting to be healed by Sister Jo. After the session ends and the humans leave, Lucifer approaches her and calls her “Amael.” Yup. An angel. Unimpressed, Sister Jo/Amael easily identifies him as Lucifer, but she’s not scared or repulsed as the other angels have been in the past.

Amael explains that after the angels fell and the others were scrambling to find “housing” (vessels), she was more systematic in her search. She found a woman who was praying for her husband to be healed and they made a deal – the woman became Amael’s vessel in exchange for healing her husband. She was, as Amael puts it, extremely “grateful.” Amael realized that she could live comfortably on humans’ desperation for healing and longer life, and that she was actually a much better “businesswoman” than she had been an angel.

We find out how good a businesswoman she is when Lucifer pulls out his sword and goes after her. She points out that if he gives her “time to recharge” (implying that he will eventually recharge on his own, himself), he can take a little grace from her at a time. He helps her and she helps him. Lucifer looks intrigued.

Back to Sam, Dean and Castiel (bet you forgot all about them, eh?). Sam is casing the neighborhood and runs into the homeless guy who told Lucifer about Sister Jo. He also tells Sam about her, and that he told Lucifer about her. Hey, Sam, maybe get Castiel to heal this guy as a reward? No?

Anyhoo, back at the church (so much friggin’ jumping around), Lucifer is feeding off Sister Jo’s grace in a highly sexualized and vampiric way that is well within the Nep Duo’s usual wheelhouse of tone-deafness. Yuck. So, afterward, Sister Jo has to point out to him, using small words, that his killing of the poor Doomed Teaser Cupid was broadcast all over Angel Radio. Apparently, in addition to losing his grace, Lucifer has lost a few IQ points, because he didn’t figure that one out on his own.

Sure enough, guess who shows up at Sister Jo’s chapel? And all three are armed with angel swords. But when Castiel kicks in the door, all they find is … Ketch.

Ketch appeared to be ready to throw something, but doesn’t elaborate about what. Dean cuts to the chase and demands to know what Ketch is doing there. Ketch protests his innocence, but nobody’s impressed, and for once, Sam and Castiel waste no time backing Dean up, demanding instead to know whom Ketch is working for. None of TFW believes Ketch is just freelancing around the countryside, doing Good. So, Ketch tries to join up with the team.

Instead, after an exchange of disgusted glances, Castiel puts him to sleep, they dump him in the Impala’s trunk, and Dean sketches out a plan to bring him back to the Bunker, interrogate him, kill him, and dispose of his body really, really well. Castiel really likes this plan. So do I, so I’m sure it won’t happen now.

There is also a fly in the ointment. Sam has just found some video of Sister Jo healing people and Castiel immediately recognizes her as Amael. But if Lucifer killed her, too, where’s her body?

As they drive home, Sam gets an alert on his phone (he tapped into Sister Jo’s financials) that she just used her credit card. Hmm, seems she might be alive.

Afterward, Amael tells Lucifer that whenever she’s almost completely drained of grace, she experiences human emotions. Lucifer says he experienced them, too, but didn’t like them. Amael feels a bit differently. In Heaven, she received souls and that’s all she did. A soul would arrive, she would “push a button,” and the soul would be counted. She wanted to do other things, to “fix Heaven,” but none of the higher-ups would listen to her and only sent her back to her job. Gee, I guess the Nep Duo missed watching the episodes in seasons four and five when angels who so much as questioned things got brainwashed and/or turned into cinders.

Anyhoo, Amael doesn’t mind being fallen. Lucifer does and whines about being a daddy. The show continues to ignore that consuming angel grace that isn’t the angel’s is unhealthy for the angel doing the consuming.

Meanwhile, Asmodeus (yes, I know you didn’t miss him) gets news from a demon minion that they’ve found Donatello. Really? When did Asmodeus lose him?

Cut to Castiel accosting Donatello outside a chicken wings place to have a chat. You gotta love a show where you have to worry about the good guys’ intentions even more than the bad guys’.

Anyhoo, Castiel asks Donatello about his progress on the Demon Tablet (didn’t Kevin translate that thing a while back? What new info could it have?) and Donatello says he thinks he’s found a spell to get to the alt-SPNverse. Now why the Demon Tablet would have this sort of thing remains unexplained. Like … not even addressed.

So, Castiel is not really Castiel. He’s actually Asmodeus pretending to be Castiel. And he does some kind of forgetting spell on Donatello that we’ve never seen demons do before, just angels (because LOL!Canon, that’s why), while compelling him to tell him everything about said spell as he finds it out. Because I’m sure this won’t backfire on this pathetic character in any way.

As Donatello leaves, Colonel Sanders – sorry, Asmodeus – grabs one of his chicken wings, sniffs it, and tosses it away in disgust. I’ll bet the Nepotism Duo thought this would be some cute and gently mocking shout-out to the rather loud and negative fan reaction to the character, which just goes to show how clueless these two are.

Meanwhile, TFW (with Ketch still apparently in the trunk) is casing the motel where Amael and Lucifer are. Sam draws Amael out by calling the room and saying her credit card was declined. Once outside, TFW meets with her and establishes she is alive.

Amael is … economical … with the truth. She claims to be scared of Lucifer and that he wants her grace. She does give him up, though, saying he is in the motel room and is still weak. So, TFW goes in, assuming she’s with them, which is too bad. Up to this point, they’ve been smart and there’s nothing smart about trusting Sister Jo, especially once they find out she’s alive and unharmed by Lucifer. One would think they’d at least consider her loyalties iffy.

Lucifer’s indeed inside the room, reading the Bible (not as fun as it sounds, unfortunately). Amael tries to warn him when she knocks on the door by calling him “Lord Lucifer,” but as I said before, he’s pretty clueless. He’s therefore apparently surprised when TFW appear in the doorway when he opens it.

A standoff ensues because really, what does TFW have to take Lucifer down, even if he’s weak? No, seriously, what was the plan here? Sam tries to shoo Amael out the door while Lucifer tries to talk his way into a better strategic position for reasons that, frankly, escape me if he’s, you know, no longer as weak as he was.

So, then Amael breaks the standoff by literally breaking up TFW with TK. Except that she should be too weak to do that, having been drained not too long ago by Lucifer to, by her own admission, almost the point of humanity. So, she and Lucifer toss TFW around and Lucifer tortures them a bit, even as Amael is telling him to run for reasons that escape me and probably a good portion of the audience. If Lucifer’s stronger than they thought, why is he running again? And if he’s still unable to kill them thanks to what Chuck did to him in season 11, now would be an excellent time to bring that up again and spell it out, since the show spells out plenty of things it really doesn’t need to.

Ketch then suddenly appears in the doorway with something in his hand. Fortunately for Lucifer (as Amael runs to his side to protect or hide behind him or something), Ketch pauses dramatically in the doorway, which is plenty of time for even a being of Lucifer’s currently limited intellect to remember he has wings and fly away to some forest with Amael. Even so, once they get there, she still has to point out to him that there is a place, not on earth, they can still go – Heaven. And to think he thinks he’s going to meet up with his son and take over the world. Yikes.

Back in the motel room, Ketch is whining (again) that he just saved the Brothers’ lives and Dean reams him out for taking too long to toss the bomb. Ketch claims it was a demon grenade or something that he found in their trunk while escaping, so it wouldn’t have actually killed Lucifer, anyway. Which again begs the question of why he ran (or flew, if you prefer). If you were holding out a faint hope that this was part of some big plan between Ketch and TFW, sorry.

A pretty awkward discussion ensues as Ketch tries to fend off his impending execution by confessing he’s working for Asmodeus and offering to be a double (or triple) agent for TFW. To their credit, they laugh in his face, pointing out that admitting something they kinda suspected already about him doesn’t exactly make them trust him. Ketch then claims that Lucifer out and about is not something even he wants to see (certainly, his erstwhile demon boss doesn’t), let alone whatever is going on with alt-Michael. TFW looks uncomfortable, since they’re probably going to have to work with him now, even though they can see all the big, red “Danger, Will Robinson!” signs surrounding this idea.

Meanwhile, Lucifer is at that stupid angel gate in the playground, talking his way into becoming the ruler of Heaven by offering them the thing that they desperately want the most – to make new angels – and the other thing they want most – to give them their wings back. Even more reluctantly than TFW letting Ketch cozy up to them, the angels take him on board. I’m sure this will end well. I’m also pretty sure that Lucifer is lying about being able to make new angels, or at least that there is a catch.

Near the end (because we have to have multiple codas), TFW is sitting around the table, discussing whether or not they can trust Ketch (the consensus is “No, but we have no choice. For now”). Donatello is doing something weird with peeling the batter off his chicken wings, which I guess is supposed to be a sign of Asmodeus’ meddling with his mind. Dean is cleaning his guns and Donatello has a freak-out when Sam tries to give him a pep talk. Good times. Great mental health all round.

Up in Heaven, the angels are reluctantly kneeling to a smug Lucifer on his throne, with Amael as his main advisor. He’s going to need her, what with that lobotomy the writers have given him.

Meanwhile, Ketch is claiming to Asmodeus that he could have killed Lucifer, but just missed him (yeah, right). Asmodeus whines that they need to dispatch Lucifer as soon as possible (a feat no one has been able to manage for over 14 billion years, mind you), especially since TFW will try to use him to open the gate to the alt-SPNverse. Except that’s not what they’ve been trying to do. They’ve actually been trying to banish him back to the Cage. But let’s not confuse the Nepotism Duo with facts. We’re almost near the end of the episode, thank God.

Through this cloud of misguided hubris, Asmodeus has two final plot coupons – sorry, surprises – to deliver before we reach the credits, though. He’s found an archangel blade (and oh, look, it looks nothing whatsoever like the blades we’ve seen the archangels use, including on each other). When Ketch points out that even with an archangel blade, you need an archangel to wield it, Asmodeus shows him that he has Gabriel prisoner, with his mouth stitched shut. I’m sure that won’t end badly for Asmodeus, or anything.

Credits

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Who wrote the gross scenes of Sam sexing up Ruby while he was sucking her blood? The Rapture is on today and I am avoiding it because I ‘think’ there is blood sucking in those scenes somewhere.

I also thought the angels wanted angel babies or whatever. I wonder if we’ll have Lucifer sexing up Amael and she brings forth an adult angel thus repleting the angel ranks? Gross idea but ‘well’ within the schedule of stuff on the show this year.

Listen, I ‘do’ hope they have a huge battle between AU!Michael and HIS angels, not really up-to-snuff Lucifer and HIS angels (seems like the ranks are ‘really’ thin now) and Asmodeus and HIS demons…would Lucifer team up with Asmodeus to take out AU!Michael? And Asmodeus and Lucifer would be planning to double-cross each other at a moment’s notice and THEN Dean!Michael shows up? Michael has lost NO POWER. By Lucifer’s token Michael has become catatonic but I am willing to believe that Michael just got sick of dealing with Lucifer (and who would not? The amount of crap-ola that comes out of Lucifer’s mouth is somewhere near Trumpian imo — and I change the channel every time that guy’s face comes on the news. I am not being overtly political here, just expressing my actual dislike for Lucifer at this time. Heck, I’d put up with Lucifer!Sam who at least IS menacing and appears intelligent by this time. YIKES!) and ‘withdrew’ somewhere. So we would have fully operational Michael IN HIS TRUE VESSEL and I bet Dean!Michael ‘could’ literally fix everything. One thing Our Dean has is the will-power to get thru anything once he makes up his mind.

I know I sound like CC here, but I have come to this from a different route. I believe Rowena in order to ‘end’ Lucifer ‘would’ help Dean in this fashion; ‘even’ if Michael overpowers Dean’s ‘free will’ Michael wanted to kill Lucifer too so for Rowena there is NO WAY she would lose if she facilitates Michael and Dean ‘joining.’

So I believe they have a lot of stuff well-planned out for the end. And I think I mentioned that I have noted that whenever it is a nep-DUO script that it appears to me that Singer gives then 85 plot points to put in and ‘that’ is why their scripts suck. (Of course, they must’ve done non-Meta scripts which are crappy as well it’s just I don’t remember them. The last few years ‘every’ script that sucks gets put into the nep-DUO folder. May not be fair because there are plenty of crap writers in the world, it’s just I generalize that if it sucks it is a nep-DUO script.)

There ‘was’ a big blood-sucking scene in When the Levee Breaks and yes, it was set up to be ‘sexy’ and I find that disgusting.

Have we actually ‘seen’ Lucifer sucking on Amael? Or were they just next to each other in bed, looking ‘comfy’ together. Anyway, if they have angel-sex I am going to have to bring a puke-bag to Thursday night’s episode.

She was toying with him I tbink… looking for vulnerabilities. She has been reading humans since the fall. She may have recognized the signs in him.
The fact that she was able to sweet talk him betrays his human impulses.

I’m skeptical that Michael is crazy, per se. He’s only been in the Cage a tiny fraction of centuries, from his perspective. It could be he’s just patiently biding his time. And it could well be Chuck did visit him to try to get him to help and Michael told “Dad” to go play on the multiverse freeway.

Hey I suggested Rowena might be interested in helping Dean!Michael get together. Obviously she is back because she can open the cage .
But the spell ingredient fits rifght into Dean’s predeliction for rushing off tgo sacrifice himself for a loved one.
I love the Mexican stand-off myself .
I Don’t think our Michael is helpless either. He maybe was devastated at failing to deliver on the ordained plan and yes being locked up with Lucifer would drive anyone bonkers. I imagine he is hopping mad now presuming he knows thst God chose not to let him out to help with Amara. Regardless Lucifer is not a reliable witness.
I do think Lucifer was being truthful when he described all versions of Michael as being like an overachieving dog with a bone. So crazy or not Dean!Michael will be interesting. Having seen Jensen do crazy I am hoping for some of that.
I think AU Michael is more back than bite as a big bad. He has effectively motivated every main character now towards a course of action. I tbink he will go abruptly sooner rather than later.
I fully expect Cas to be corrupted, Sam to be hysterical, Dean to be Dean! Michael and Letch to be Crowley.

Much like Phoenix!Dean or Dean!Michael I will never give up on Crowley.

But there is a devils’ trap on the inside of the trunk, if Letch was Crowley how could he get out? Crowley was hauled around locked in the trunk during I Think I’m Going To Like It Here and could not escape.

That’s my problem with Letch being possessed by Crowley. I mean, it’s a cool idea, but how did he get out of the trunk if Crowley’s inside him? Crowley never could before and his previous host was all souped up. Also, Crowley died in the alt-SPNverse. How did he get back and possess Letch’s dead body, which the Brothers had presumably burned?

Mind you, I wouldn’t be too surprised to see Crowley return (especially if whatever’s going on with Mark Sheppard behind the scenes gets resolved). About the only character besides him who hasn’t been resurrected yet is Kelly, though they’ve sure found ways to bring that actress back a bajillion times! But in Letch? That’s a bit more of a…uh…stretch.

Speaking of Kelly, isn’t the POTUS in the SPNverse Jack’s physical/human father?

Amial would make a much more interesting villain at this point. She was completely swindling Lucifer, who was too stupid to see that she was poisoning him while maintaining enough grace to allow herself grow stronger. Though the writers probably did not think this through, I like to think that in telling him to leave her enough to recharge, she was testing him to see if he was really that dumb. In which case she could manipulate him what she wanted. Problem was, I wasn’t sure what that was. To get back into heaven, I suppose, but to fix it? To get even with it? Maybe a bit of both.

In any case Lucifer is played out. Weaker, and dumber, than his weakest creation.

She poisoned him? I got that she was playing him… she’s a grifter. How did she poison him. Also I think he is feeling human emotion and weakened by it the way Crowley was. She seemed to be testing the waters and playing him.
At first she stayed alive. Then she started to see the possibilities.
Reminds me of Crowley.