Tea Time With My Period

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October 21, 2017

This is a dramatic reading between me and my period. The interpretations and dialogues have been, almost, severely exaggerated for the sake of educating people on the trauma of gushing out blood while our uterus eats itself, every 28 days for 45-50 years of a woman’s life.

DAY 1:

PERIOD: “HEYYY-OOO”

ME: *GASP!* “Why in the world would you do that?!”

P: “What? I was just saying ‘Hi’”

ME: “You can say ‘Hi’ without the need to punch my lower abdomen!”

P: “Oh c’mon, you’re my best buddy! Give me a hug, come on now…”

ME: “DON’T TOUCH ME”

*BAM!*

ME: “I hate you.”

P: “Well, at least you aren’t pregnant”

DAY 2:

P: “Soooo, what are you going to wear for the party?”

ME: “I don’t know, my black dress, maybe..”

P: “Girl, wear the white one. White is SO your colour!”

ME: “I’m not so sure..”

P: “Try it on…… There you go! You look incredible!”

ME: *blushes* “Really? Well I guess I’ll go with the white!”

P: “Good…Oh wait, I’m about to sneeze..”

ME: “Wait, WHAT?!”

P: “Ah…ah…”

ME: “DON’T YOU DARE”

P: “AH-CHOOOOOOO!”

*SWOOOSH*

P: “Oops”

ME: “Black dress it is”

DAY 3:

P: “Look, chocolate cake!”

ME: “I’m on a diet”

P: “Yeah I know, but it’s CAKE”

ME: “I’m not even hungry so shut up, will you?”

P: *grumbles*

ME: “Stop that!”

P: “Just a small piece, c’mon now. Screw diet for the day”

ME: “Fine. Just a small piece”

P: “You know, there are a million kids around the world starving and you’re just going to waste a whole cake? Shame on you”

ME:*burp*

P: “Great. Now you’re a fat mess. You need to go cry about that.”

DAY 4:

P: “OOoohhh clean underwear! Smells good!”

ME: “I know right!? It’s my favouri-….oh darn.”

P: “WHAT did you say?”

ME: *gulp* “Nothing”

P: “Those are your favourite undies?”

ME: *whimpers* “Please don’t”

P: *smirk* “Well well well…”

ME: “No, I’m begging you! Don’t! NOOOOOOOO!”

P: “COWABUNGA!”

ME: “Noooooooooooooooooo!”

DAY 5:

ME: “Hey isn’t it time for you to leave?”

P: “Yeah”

ME: “I’ll miss you”

P: “Maybe I should stay for another day”

ME: “What?! No way! I mean, you have a lot of work to do, so you should get going”