Since the news broke in both The New York Times and The New Yorker, other Hollywood heavyweights have been reacting publicly to the news. A number of people echoed remorse that they knew about the producer’s alleged harassment and assaults, including director Quentin Tarantino, who worked with Weinstein on all but one of his films. When the allegations first surfaced, the storyteller said he needed time to “process my pain, emotions, anger and memory.” Days later, he sat down with The New York Times for an interview in which he reflected on Weinstein’s alleged sex crimes and what role he may have played in perpetuating them as a bystander.

Most notable in reaction was Tarantino’s memory of Weinstein’s treatment of Mira, who dated the director in 1995 and opened up to Tarantino about how Weinstein had massaged her without her consent, chased her around a hotel room, and even showed up at her place, uninvited, in the middle of the night. He told the Times, “I was shocked and appalled. I couldn’t believe he would do that so openly. I was like: Really? Really?” But he didn't intervene. As Tarantino points out, “What I did was marginalize the incidents. Anything I say now will sound like a crappy excuse.”

Of his previous attitude towards the producer, he explained that he believed, “I’m with [Mira], he knows that, he won’t mess with her, he knows that she’s my girlfriend.” When Sorvino told Tarantino what Weinstein did to her, rather than identify with her, Tarantino focused on the fact she was his girlfriend, so it was his onus to protect her from men like Weinstein. This is akin to men who say “as a husband and father of daughters…” Both responses seem to assumes a sense of ownership. This means her power, her sense of social freedom, and expectation of safety, all rely on a man. Him. By saying Weinstein “won’t mess with her, he knows that she’s my girlfriend,” Tarantino denies Sorvino her agency. At the same time, he pats himself on the back for being able to protect her.

It is not that a woman like Mira Sorvino needs a man to protect her. She needs men not to harass and assault her. A woman’s value and safety should not be determined by her proximity to a man. Every woman should feel safe from assault, harassment, or abuse, because she is a person. It’s a simple as that, but it’s a crucial point that Tarantino missed — and seems to still not fully grasp now, over 20 years later.

Tarantino’s films are testament to the fact he believes he lives in a "man’s world". And it seems he imagined Mira navigating that same "man’s world" when she told him about Weinstein’s sexual abuse. As Tarantino put it, “I chalked it up to a '50s-60s-era image of a boss chasing a secretary around the desk.” echoing Weinstein’s ham-fisted statement in which he attempted to explain that his treatment toward women “was the culture” when he was growing up. (To his credit, Tarantino seems to get that culture doesn't excuse this, or make it OK.)

For both Sorvino and for the secretary back in the ‘60s, moments like these were an abuse of power. Sexual harassment and sexual assault are not sex. They’re crimes of power — ultimately, no different than assault and battery — and they are violations. A lot of men don’t grasp this; and we need to.

Look, men tolerated sexual harassment and assault. We benefitted from it. We perpetuated it. That’s important to say, and men have to own it if we’re going to get anywhere in a society.

So what does owning it look like? Don’t look to Brad Pitt, who confronted Weinstein about harassing then-girlfriend Gwyneth Paltrow, but later worked with Weinstein on Inglourious Basterds, which Tarantino also directed. Instead, consider how Black Panther director Ryan Coogler responded to the news of Weinstein’s alleged sex crimes. As with Tarantino, Weinstein was instrumental in Coogler’s success as a filmmaker, given that he purchased and distributed Coogler’s first film, Fruitvale Station. But Coogler did not let this relationship or any sense of indebtedness bias him against Weinstein’s victims.

In his statement, Coogler said, “The entertainment industry, like many others, has a historic imbalance of power among gender that allows these violations to run rampant. As men we sit in positions of privilege. It is our responsibility to leverage our position, and be allies to the women in our industry. We need to do everything we can to make sure violations like these don’t continue to happen. The first step is to listen.”

Tarantino had firsthand knowledge of Weinstein's alleged assaults, yet Coogler employed strong languages in his denunciation of sexual abuse. He said, in no uncertain terms, that sexual harassment is a human rights violation, and that men owe it to women to be good allies — not protectors.

That’s the correct lens to view sexual abuse. As Coogler makes it clear, stopping sexual violence starts with listening to people who are victimized, especially by men in power. Believe women. Identify with them. Don’t minimize, excuse, or rationalize away what’s happened to them. Expect and practice zero tolerance for sexual harassment or assault. And guys, let’s be all the way real: to be a good and true ally to victims will also requires some self-reflection.

Men, let me ask you this: How many times have you witnessed sexual harassment or assault and done nothing? How many times have you said that something "wasn't my problem" because you weren't directly involved? There is a difference between being a good guy simply because you're not actively being the bad guy, and actually being an upstander who fights for change. Studies have proven that, when people intervene to stop sexual assaults, the number of sexual assaults go down. Bystander intervention works. But it doesn't work if you're a conditional bystander, who thinks that your presence alone will solve an issue. If you want to help women seek justice, speak out when you see an injustice taking place.

Men must vow to do better because women are human beings. Not because they’re ours. Women deserve the same respect and bodily autonomy as men. Coogler is right: sexual abuse is an issue of human rights.

For his part, Tarantino now seems to recognize this. As he put it, “What was previously accepted is now untenable to anyone of a certain consciousness.” This is what we must expect of ourselves and all other men: a certain consciousness.