What’s on Tonight: Robert Wagner Arrested!

NCIS (CBS) — “How do you solve a murder when your father is the prime suspect?” Well, you probably are taken off the case, but disregarding the thinnest shred of realism has never stopped “NCIS” before. Robert Wagner guest stars as Michael Weatherly’s father, and only time will tell if Mark Harmon & Co. can help Wagner walk away from murder charges like he did with Natalie Wood.

Rock Stars (Nat Geo) — Series premiere. Another docu-drama in the “danger blue-collar profession” vein, this series follows crews working to stabilize rock faces that threaten to endanger human life below.

Dancing with the Stars (ABC) — Season finale. If Rob Kardashian, who has done nothing noteworthy with his life except be related to sluts, defeats J.R. Martinez, who was burned alive in a Humvee in Iraq while serving his country, it might just be the last straw for me. I may have to quit this job to hunt down and eradicate every member of the Kardashian family.

Sons of Anarchy (FX) — The club’s building animosity towards an ever-more-villainous Clay makes me think that his death feels almost TOO inevitable. I feel like Kurt Sutter might be leading us up to a big left turn that leaves Clay alive going into Season 5.

LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Amy Sedaris on Letterman; Dane Cook on Leno; Dana Delany and David Beckham on Kimmel; Jason Segel on Ferguson; Howie Mandel and Warming Glow Illegal Jailbait Crush™ Chloe Moretz on Fallon. That girl needs to turn 18 with a quickness.

SITE NEWS: Sorry to ditch out a little early, but I’ve got a flight to catch. We’ll be back tomorrow with some features from Josh Kurp and a mostly-full day of posting.

Uff, it’s a little-known secret but they actually film DWTS a couple of days ahead of time and show it on tape (even though they claim it’s live). A friend of mine that works on the production told me that Kardashian won. So, you know, you might as well go ahead and get started on your “mission.”

I think Clay ends up in prison before he ends up dead, possibly as part of the ATF plan to trap the Real IRA. I remember whassisname the quirky Fed guy saying to Juice that only club members at the meeting would be liable for prosecution, so I’m hoping Juice gets his redemption with the Sons by helping them set up Clay to take the fall.

Do you really need to quit your job to “hunt” for the Kardashian family? Seems like they would be pretty easy to track down, what with the team of photographers, publicized appearences and Kim’s fat ass that can be seen from space. As a trained, battle hardened Marine, you should be able to knock this mission off over your lunch break.