Thursday, February 4, 2010

Risky for husbands to ask (thanks alot Lou Priolo!)

As a brotherly challenge to the men I will be speaking to this weekend in California, I'm going to present eleven questions Lou Priolo suggests we (husbands) should pose to our wives. Asking these questions will help us to build intimacy with our wives. Asking these questions will help us to better understand our helpmates. Indeed, Scripture bids us to live with our wives in an understanding way.

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. - 1 Peter 1:7

1. If you could change three things about me that would make me more Christ-like, what would you change?

2. Do I have any other annoying mannerisms or irritating idiosyncrasies that you would like to see me change?

3. How does it make you feel when I…(name something that you know displeases her)?

4. What goes through your mind when I… (name something that you know displeases her)?

5. What do you want from me that I’m not giving you at the moment I…(name something you know displeases her)?

6. What specifically would you like to see me do to change in this area (name something that you know displeases her)?

7. On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate our marriage?

8. What would it take to make our marriage a ten?

9 What is your opinion about…?

10. What personal goals do you have for your life? How can I help you achieve them?

11. Do you have any needs or desires that you believe I ought to be meeting or fulfilling better than I do? What are they?

(these questions are found in "The Complete Husband" by Lou Priolo)

I confess to not having asked all these questions of my own wife yet. Thankfully she doesn't read my blog too regularly so I might get away with not having to ask these myself. But for you, the faithful Reepicheep reader, you have now been challenged to try these out with your wife!!!

6 comments:

When Brother Baker led our men’s group through this compelling book a few months back, I thought it was one of the most challenging books on marriage I had ever read. It made me reflect on how blessed I am to have the gifted wife God ordained for me when He spoke the universe into existence. At the end of each chapter, filling in my personal responses, Priolo challenged us to share what we had written with our brides. Cheri found my comments, especially all my failures, and short comings very honest. Great Book! Pastor, May the Lord bless your every word as you boldly speak His Word in Truth and in Love!

I like the question about helping my wife be everything that she could and should be. But, otherwise, seriously, did you ever meet Lou Priolo? Are you sure it's not more like, "Betty Lou Priolo." The intimacy part doesn't bother me. But, did you honestly write all these questions on the blog with a straight face? It's just I wouldn't want my time with my wife to turn into a nag session - or nag day, or nag week. I know what the Bible says about loving my wife; and, that she needs to feel special; and, I try to make that happen. Maybe giving my wife a question at a time, weeks apart, would be better in my household. But, having a guy give his wife all these questions at once, wouldn't it be like the guy standing behind a dump truck when it's ready to dump? He'd never get out from under it.

Don Vito Corleone

Lloyd and Harry

My favorite quote from Reepicheep

Taken from 'The Voyage of the Dawn Treader' concerning whether or not the ship should return home or press forward into the unknown -

"Aren't you going to say anything, Reep?" whispered Lucy.

"No. Why should your Majesty expect it?" answered Reepicheep in a voice that most people heard.

"My own plans are made. While I can, I sail east in the Dawn Treader. When she fails me, I paddle east in my coracle. When she sinks, I shall swim east with my four paws. And when I can swim no longer, if I have not reached Aslan's country, or shot over the edge of the world in some vast cataract, I shall sink with my nose to the sunrise and Peepiceek will be head of the talking mice in Narnia."

Why "Reepicheep"?

Reepicheep is descended from a group of mice who gnawed through the ropes that bound Aslan to the Stone Table after the White Witch had killed him; as a result of their service, they became talking mice. In Prince Caspian, Reepicheep is the leader of the twelve mice who help to fight against Caspian's Uncle Miraz in the Second Battle of Beruna at Aslan's How. He and his followers run through the battle and plunge their rapiers into an unsuspecting enemy's foot, causing him to fall, after which he is quickly dispatched. Reepicheep did not view his life as his own. He was fiercely loyal to Caspian, but ultimately to Aslan, the King of Kings. This attitude of loyalty must be my attitude toward the Church, and ultimately, the King and Head of the Church, the Lord Jesus Christ. Reepicheep is one of my favorite characters in all of literature because of his loyalty to the King. Despite his lack of size, ability, and power, he zealously guards the honor of the King. He sees his honor as being united to the King. He sees his life only in relationship to the King. Reepicheep was dead to himself and alive to the King and service to him.
I want to serve King Jesus with the loyalty of Reepicheep.