Newtown

I wrote this for the Triple M “Suburban Songs” competition, but I was actually too late for it. Hey ho. People who’ve lived in Newtown seem to think it’s quite good, at least. It’s to the tune of Khe Sanh, by Cold Chisel, possibly the least Newtownish song I could think of.

This is one that bothered me after I wrote it, because it had a bunch of silly errors – it referred to a suburban sprawl, which Newtown most certainly is not, and accused the library of long being closed, which it wasn’t (at least at the time). Recently (March 2016) I was inspired to go back and fix it, and I think it’s far better now.

[May 2001]

I pierced my lip with a ring of steel – Newtown
And my clothes were old in the seventies, but they’re dead sexy now
You want some Vietnam home cooking?
Well you only have to make a booking —
Or there’s lots of good Thai restaurants around.

There were long-forgotten council guarantees
So there were no houses built here since 1873.
Now it looks like we live in squalor
But it cost us a million dollars
And a car park’s rare as hen’s teeth on the ground.

And it’s like some slightly older third-world zone
The roads are never empty, and the parks stand all alone
And the pubs are always open
But the schools are barred and closed
And the bikes are parked with chunky iron chains.

And insurance costs are feral, have to lie, say “Pennant Hills”
And until you’ve lived in Newtown, you just won’t believe your bills
But the night life’s always jumpin’
And the goths are kind of fun
And the Uni’s close, to let you stretch your brains.

So you walk the length of King Street, end to end
And you see a million strangers, maybe half a dozen friends
Don’t mind the noise of the sirens
‘Cause at least they’re quickly gone
Oh, but the car alarms can hurt at three AM.

And I’ve travelled round this town from year to year
But the East’s all ageing hippies, Shire’s churches make me fear
I went down to visit Canberra
But I couldn’t breathe the air
So I’ll stick right here, and will not leave again.

You know the fast train out of Newtown should be here
Only seven minutes late now, so it’s still not time to fear
There ain’t nothing on the rails
But they can run as slow as snails,
Oh God I hope I get to work some time this year.

You know the fast train out of Newtown must have gone.
You know the fast train out of Newtown must have gone.
And it’s got me feeling sour
‘Cause a bus’ll take at least an hour
And now the fast train out of Newtown must have gone.

Well the fast train out of Newtown must have gone.
You know the fast train out of Newtown must have gone.
And it’s got me feeling sour
‘Cause a bus’ll take at least an hour
And now the fast train out of Newtown must have gone.