Santa was a freak. Think on it: he gets around by whipping those reindeers’ tender flesh (hello, dom), sneaks in your house at night to kiss your mama, and has a bizarre obsession with whether you’ve been naughty or nice. To me, that sounds like… well someone who reads this column, that’s all. And it very much clears up Chaps’ much-heralded holiday hours (on Fri/24 and Sat/25 they’re open from 8 p.m.-late). Would you like to sit on Santa's lap? Get cruisey, all you ho-ho-hoes -- it’s Christmas time for the weekly sex events.

I’m a sucker for miniaturization. Sushi erasers, super-strong magnets, marzipan fruit baskets, teeny-weeny screwdrivers; anything you can pack into a matchbox or stuff into a watch-pocket makes my spirits soar. So I was naturally keen to take in the One-Minute Play Festival at Thick House. Sixty-three 60-second plays performed in a quicksilver stream of actors, action, and scene. A good example of where miniature does not automatically equate “cute” or “precious” but rather “succinct” or “direct,” the one-minute play is an exercise in brevity and restraint.

Someone needs to tell Assembly member Fiona Ma that the '90s – with its myopic War on Drugs mentality, ascendant rave scene, and chest-beating “tough on crime” political one-upsmanship – are over, even though we're still paying that era's bills. Because Ma just introduced AB 74, which seeks to bans raves in California.Read more »

"Does Newsom represent local workers or San Mateo politicians?" That’s the question being asked at City Hall today. And it’s threatening to deliver an unwelcome kick to Mayor Gavin Newsom on his way out of City Hall’s revolving doors, as dozens of unemployed construction workers deliver 1,000 Christmas cards that residents of Bayview Hunters Point, Chinatown, the Mission, the Tenderloin and South of Market have signed. Read more »

Just to be sure my pal(s) Matlock and Lucretia aren't off on some sort sort of web holiday, thought I'd repost this week's Editors Notes here. It's a defense of public employee pensions and pay. At the very least, it's a perspective you don't hear much.

There are many, many party options for New Year's Eve this year, but one of my favorite cocktail spots is hosting an event that seems particularly appealing to those with adventurous taste (and tastebuds) ... Read more »

Don’t be fooled by the melancholy acoustic guitar that opens the new La Plebe album, Brazo en Brazo, for all of a few introductory notes. Just as soon as the ear is lulled into world-music lullaby-land, the horns and drums quickly pop up, until, like a day at the races, the full blaze of La Plebe’s instrumentation blasts through, and they’re off!

Isn't it interesting that so many of the people who are demanding a "caretaker" mayor -- someone who will accept the appointment but not run again -- are politicians who were originally appointed to their jobs, and then ran again?

I started seeing retail sales around town marked “last minute Christmas shopping events” a week and a half ago – who are these freakish people that think two weeks is not enough time to score trinkets for one's loved ones?

I hereby present to you two holiday recipes from the hottest new vegan and vegetarian on the market -- with the explicit reminder that you have ample time to prepare them before a nice Friday night 'neath the Christmas tree, clutching bowls of chickpea piccata and vegan kugel, and munching in time to a bangin' holiday mix. Oh wait, I didn't get a tree yet either. No matter baby -- we got nothing but time. Read more »

My boyfriend has a fetish which, initially, is pretty off-putting. All the advice says to just go with it and make it part of our sex life, which I have done. But it doesn't really seem to help. He can tell it's not really my thing, so we hardly ever have sex now. He just doesn't seem to be into it if it isn't fetishy, and it's started to seem like work (to both of us) to try to include his special stuff.

I think he wants to be with someone who is really into it, but he says he loves me. What am I supposed to do now?

The job of a district attorney is bringing criminals to justice; everybody knows that. But it's also the job of the city's top law enforcement agent to make sure the innocent are protected — and that's a part that many DAs ignore.

There's considerable evidence that the San Francisco police have framed suspects, set up evidence, and illegally manipulated the legal system to put the wrong people behind bars. Repeatedly. That's a crisis that requires active intervention from the District Attorney's Office — and since Kamala Harris is on her way out the door, it has to be a top priority for her successor.

The latest example: Superior Court Judge Marla Miller ruled Dec. 14 that Caramad Conley was denied his constitutional rights and convicted of murder after San Francisco cops allowed a paid witness to lie on the stand.

Miller concluded that homicide inspector Earl Sanders, who later became police chief and is now retired on a nice pension, knew that witness Clifford Polk was lying and made no effort to correct it.

Martha Stewart would have been awed had she found her way to the Renegade Crafts Fair at the Concourse Exhibition Center this past weekend, 12/18-12/19. The amount of creative crafters packed into one space was overwhelming, and Martha would have found it quite inspiring.