Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Drug Testing Before Debates

Without going all Elizabeth Warren on his ass, as in, as the
saying goes, cutting him a new one, much as he deserves it, Clinton might have
addressed him simply and directly, even politely and demurely, asking: "Why
are you behaving like that Donald? Don't you know interrupting as much as you
do is rude and unfair? Donald, Donald, do you think people — do you think
women — really liked being talked over?"

The national audience gasps. It seems to many Trump has lost
the election — and his mind.

But the debate, due a moderator whose main ambition is to
get out of there in one piece, resumes. So Trump keeps interrupting, overriding,
shouting, howling, yelling, which he cannot desist from doing — I know almost
for a fact, yeah, almost, the doc has agreed to talk to me, it's the
amphetamines that make him do it, whether they come in the form of speed, per
se, or the nifty dopamine reuptake inhibitors, like Ritalin and Adderall, and
hence the yelling and the sweats — Hillary might, a la Britney Spears, but
sotto voce, sing,

"Oops, I did it again

I played with your heart, got lost in the game

Oh baby, baby . . . "

All right, enough with the fantasy of Clinton getting out of
her unnecessary teletubby drag and doing a sweet soft shoe. . .

Back to the amphetamines and whatever else Trump might be
on: there should be drug testing for these debates, same as for the Olympics or
baseball. Is the World Series more important than the presidency? Well, then.