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Thursday, September 05, 2013

A Clerks Dark Ride? A Bit of Disney In Leonardo, NJ

In the first episode of the Clerks; The Animated Series titled "Leonardo Leonardo Returns and Dante Has an Important Decision To Make," Billionaire Leonardo Leonardo makes his triumphant return to Leonardo, NJ and unveils his giant monument of consumerism, Leonardo Tower. Naturally, Jason Mewes thought the tower looked "like a big bong."

L.L's new tower is all part of his diabolical plan to turn the town of Leonardo into a "doomed pleasure resort town where the people of Leonardo will work underground as mindless slave drones and live off the crumbs of the rich..."

He strategically erected his new store the QuickER Stop right across the street from the real Quick Stop, nearly putting Dante and Randal's livelihood in jeopardy. The original Quick Stop is about to go out of business, but fortunately, something good did come out of all this: Dante and Randal get the chance to go on a cool "dark ride" style tour of the new QuickER Stop.

As an homage to one of my favorite places on earth, Disney's Haunted Mansion, Dante and Randal hop into a revolving Doom Buggy outfitted with a speaker to hear Leonardo's braggadocios voice-guided tour. When the ride comes to the end, a ghostly greenish-blue apparition of Leonardo Leonardo appears in between Dante and Randal in their Doom Buggy!

After the tour of the QuickER Stop, the guys attempt to foil Leonardo's master plan. On the way, they bat-climb up the Leonardo Tower only to encounter two doorways. One is a your average completely regular doorway while the other is the MAZE OF DEATH! Out of two options, the marginally intelligent clerks chose the MAZE OF DEATH! Mwahahahaaaa!