DeSean Jackson is a GENIUS and Jordan Newmark is a CRAZY

April 2, 2013

I have two pictures for you today to either discuss (unlikely) or not discuss (very likely).

The first is a list of 6 rules for men to follow on Instagram. This list is the brainchild of the one and only Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver DeSean Jackson.

First off, these are some good rules.

Second off, I believe professional tackle football athlete DeSean Jackson has some lady issues. And I don’t mean he’s on his period, I mean he has issues with women thinking he’s flirting with other women, which he probably is. And with that, those women who have tried to seemingly lock-up DeSean need to realize two things:

1. Tying down a professional athlete to monogamy is extremely difficult

2. The wide receiver is the flashiest position in all of professional tackle football ie the most likely to have multiple sexual partners as well as diamond earrings in both of their ears.

“Flashy” is never a corresponding adjective to “faithful”. Derrick is a flashy and loyal husband. Not gonna happen! You know what I’m saying?!

Wide receivers are flashy. The entirety of the professional basketball is flashy. Thus, do not expect monogamy from either.