Hold my breath and wait

I hold my breath and wait to drown,
I fell, I failed, I stayed, I sailed
Around the world, still the same air I inhaled.
Sinking … dressed and pulled down
Due to my water – drop by drop – filled gown.

I stopped fighting, I stopped running,
Submerging, waiting for the sun to rise –
Joy and fear combined, it’s stunning.
Everybody I consider as too wise
Or as too dumb
Won’t be there when you are fading…
But now there is release
of all the things that were shading
Of the lump in my breast
and the frog in my throat
and the whale sitting on my chest
Washed away every single disease
the force renewed for my boat to float.

Wait and hold your breath
Wait and push through the surface
To see life or delightful death
Open your eyes and see the glaze
of the sun shining for another day
clouds and storms lightening up your way…

Wait and hold your breath –
Maybe it’s been your last one –
Close your eyes and you are done
with all trouble on this earth –
A neuron frozen in a nerve –
Everything stops when you drown
You accept it without a frown.

Wait and hold your breath –
Feel the water washing you
Like some laundry with some powder
Nobody there to bother or to hold her –
You’re all alone and only you
Feel your lungs and the air running through.

Hold your breath enjoying the silence —
Only the sound of the crumbling water
There’s no border, no rule, no fence
No failure of a daughter
No fighting or denying, no guns
No perjure for a slaughter
No comparing of our sons.

It’s just you and you’re about to win
Surrounded by something wonderful
Hold your breath – soaking in
the energy. Your space is full.
It’s the things in life you cannot see –
So stop and be the one to stare
Letting your thoughts flow, somewhere…
It’s the little things that add up to
Your life, a dirt track, no avenue.
2013