This is one of my first..hmm how would I call it, “intense” writings. It actually started as a log I’d add to daily but then it became something deeper

Submitted: December 30, 2017

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Submitted: December 30, 2017

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Breathless delight. Not intentional, but definitely not unwanted. Did I expect it? No. Did I want it? Hell yeah I did. With every footstep I grew
closer to it, I knew I had to have it.It became something that I thought about daily. At night, when I’d wake up, to when I ate lunch. It became something I was addicted to.I honestly didn’t
think I loved it. I loved the idea of it. But was it so bad for me to feel like I needed it? I did! And he gave it to me. I couldn’t let go of it once it was in my grasp.I guess you could say I was
thrown for a loop when I started to fall deeper for him.The thing that scared me the most was myself. I gave them the power to hurt me and although I wasn’t focused on the pain it was never
far from my mind. Through it all I was trying to reflect the good from the bad and allow myself to feel what I had been so desperately longing for, for a while now. Of course I
didn’t want to let it go. It felt so fucking amazing and I wouldn’t have traded that for anything. I’d do anything to keep that feeling and make sure it didn’t go away, but was
he?....