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Greg Hardy Says He’s Never Hit A Woman Ever. Sounds Very Believable.

When even Jerry Jones can’t deal with your shit, you probably have to at least pretend to show some regret. That’s how you find yourself face-to-face with Schefter in jorts, trying desperately to convince the world that you’re some polite little southern boy and not the biggest piece of shit in the world, in what has to be the most pathetic attempt at a public-image change in the history of sports.

Here is is guys… the moment Greg Hardy finally realized how truly fucked his career really was.

Like, we all know that he doesn’t care about what he did. He’s made it very, very clear to everyone just how little he cares. Basically everything he’s said or done from the second this whole thing started was a blatant display of how little he cared about what he did. Forget “apologies” or “regret” or anything like that. It was almost like he went out of his way to be as big of a dick as he possibly could, just to really drive home the point that he wasn’t sorry.

All until Jerry dropped him.

Getting dropped by Jerry Jones… that’s some shit man. When that dude can’t put up with your shit anymore, you have officially reached rock bottom. Jerry has not only looked the other way with talented, controversial players… he’s openly embraced them. He loves the attention. He wants the circus. He would sign Aaron Hernandez on a weekend work release if he could. The more the Cowboys are in the media, the better.

If that guy cuts you lose, despite your world-class talent, you know you’ve fucked up. Your options are slim. There’s a reason no team has signed a guy who might legitimately be one of the best talents in the NFL. When the other 31 teams see that even Jerry Jones can’t deal with your shit, you’re probably not getting any phone calls. Which is how you find yourself in a beanie and jorts, face-to-face with Schefter, trying desperately to convince the world that you’re just some polite little southern boy who’s never laid your hands on a woman, in what has to be the most pathetic attempt at a public-image change in the history of sports.

So yeah… it’s probably pretty infuriating to a lot of people that he’s lying on TV… or that he’s even on TV… or that he’s even alive. But you can at least take solace knowing that this fake-apology was Greg Hardy letting the world know that he is at rock bottom right now. He knows now that nobody is calling without an ‘attitude adjustment’ and some indication of regret about the whole “I beat women and fight my teammates and coaches and I’m just a generally garbage human being” thing. And even with that he still probably won’t get a call anyway*.