Friday, January 1, 2010

It's the Chicago Way

TSA has been in the news a lot lately, and none of it has been good news from Big Guy's perspective. Last night, in between the champagne, the late night walk on the beach, which led to three canceled national security briefings, more champagne and a game of Twister, Big Guy talked to Gibbsy about trying to get better PR for an agency that was getting way too much PR. Good luck with that.

Now comes word that some people on Capitol Hill think our nominee to head TSA, Erroll Souther, might not be the best guy for the job to protect people's privacy. It seems when he was an FBI agent he accessed his ex-wife's boyfriend's criminal record, and he wasn't authorized to do that. That was 20 years ago, and now everyone is up in arms about it.

I would have thought that a year into our administration, most people would have figured out how we work. See, Big Guy comes from Chicago, where the old fable about the fox guarding the hen house is taken pretty seriously as an approach to good government. Big O nominated Timmy Geithner, who was a tax cheat, to oversee our economy and tax policy. Who better to understand how to stop cheaters, than to hire one of the best cheaters in the country to run the agency? Democrats hate the Pentagon, so who better than a Republican, Bob Gates, to run DoD, since he probably respects the military? Who better to understand the lax border policies of DHS than a governor who encouraged lax border policies, and now you have the perfect job for former Arizona governor Bruno.

So in the case of TSA, you have Souther, who clearly doesn't respect anyone's privacy. nominated for a job that will allow him, thanks to full body screening machines, to see just about everyone's most intimate privates whenever he wants. Who better to know what to do with all those photos?

This is just the way Chicago political mind works, but sometimes you don't need to pretzel logic it that much. After a strong, effective Vice President like Dick Cheney, Big Guy simply went in the opposite direction. Hence the Biden pick.

Answer: Big Mo, upon spinning "Right Foot Red" and determined NOT to lose, even though her left foot, left hand, and right hand and were all on green, deftly swung that big leg across the mat and.............. Giggly rolled to safety just-in-time.

"You LOSE, whitey," Big Mo bellowed triumphantly.

And the match proceeded to the final round:

Big Mo v. Bruno...........

**********************Word: volypedi

Only a volypedi can put her or his right hand on green when her or his left foot and left hand and right foot are all on red.

Such blatant spam as BauBau's above,gives one the heebie jeebies.Might he be a Mau-Mau?Could he be one of those kut-up Kenyan kids?

More likely he manages "offshore accounts" for his employer,like the undie bomber's daddy.That bank he manages is an islamic souk from which funds are transfered INTERNATIONALLY without bothering those pesky currency regulators at all.

Almost positive I received a letter from him just last month requesting my depository assistance to free up a $28M inheritance that tax authorities would not release from another Nigerian Bank.

Their bribes to the local officials,or 'backsheesh',had been considered insufficient.

My potential rewards were described as 'everlasting',so if I invest,I will have that going for me.

Our old pal,'Tabloid T shirts',also adds his valuable perspectives above and one feels ever so much wiser after another of his rather repetitive contributions.Thanks for sharing guys !We love being informed of those clever values available at your establishments.Please expedite shipments of everything you have to 123 Fake street,C.O.D.,RUSH.We will ship back the returns at our own expense,at least in your dreams.

Was wondering TP whether ya'll turned down South African President Zuma's wedding,because it is his third ? Ya'll did know he was still happily married to the first two didn't you?

Local fashionistas like that very funny MOTUS lady might have noted their otherworldly outfits as this was one wedding without all that,oh so 20th century,white!

In this 'religious' ceremony a well known imam blessed the young couple,the guests,and favored concubines,w the sacrifice of a fattened goat.

The bride wore black,head to toe w an almost translucent veil,lined w a black silk face camisole.One noted a strong resemblance to the other females in her family..

The Bride's Maids were the preceeding and present wives and were also dressed in identical matching black outfits,as were all the female guests.It was a stunning spectacle.

The Ring berarer was precious of course.

So much so,that the groom has arranged to also marry her in a few months after returning from his most recent honeymoon.

SS Hillary and VP Biden sent regrets along w a wealth of wedding gifts from this ourcountry to theirs,including Ipods, Salad Spinners, and Perfect Brownie Pans.Had they been able to attend it would have been another Perfect Brownie Pandering,in addition to a lovely ceremony.Pity we partied too much in Hawaii to have made it to those festivities.Perhaps we could make it w them later.The President could invite the entire corp for a State Dinner and TWWister match.

TOTUS said:"So in the case of TSA, you have Souther, who clearly doesn't respect anyone's privacy..."

I really don't see the problem here. I mean, Mark Lloyd, who loves free speech except if the one talking is white or a republican, which is not racism at all but a kind of discernment about who should be talking and who should not, is doing a fine job over at the FCC. Mr. Lloyd loves Chavez, just like Obama. He really admires Mao, too, and he especially wants to prevent people with the wrong ideals from participaing in any kind of debate where the public might get confused.

Souther is a fine choice. Experienced people is just what this country needs, and our president has plenty of experience paying back the folks who deserve what they get, especially America.

I find it refreshing that our resident rooster can give us such a special fashion commentary on the Zuma nuptials. My own research advies me that the 67 year old Zulu bride-groom's wife number 2 or 3 or 4 committed suicide! Bless her heart.

But what I cannot reconcile without much more thorough research, is this: was not "Zuma" an African-African character who caused Jack Bauer (oh, where is he when we need him in the Motor City!) much yelling expletives such as "I SAID NOW!!!!!" ??

It is a sad fact that the Magic Negro will not extend his powers to protect Americans. He will continue to deny this war, and Americans will die on their own soil, again. Right now, people you may know, people you may love, even YOU, have had your days numbered by this failure of a leader. Mark tomorrow as another one down. Because just as sure as Fort Hood, the inevitable is steaming toward us full speed and it is this utter fool and his minions who will slam it our faces.

Did I drop a bomb on the carpet or somethingw that,'The Bride Wore Black ',piece above?

Thank you Susan.Was afraid I had run off the FOTS w my post.Nearly 24 hours later,I was sure it had.

Well ok ,it wasn't my best post,but I couldn't very well put her in a little black dress which was the more likely actual scenario.Besides, I have since seen the photos and indeed these folks do dress colorfully.In the extreme.The idea of importing that truly authentic Conga line from neighbors next door in the Congo,was pure genius.

And maybe he didn't propose to the Ringbearer's,er,father,but he is planning another wedding this year,and will be stealing away somebody's little darling.

Perhaps for him 4 wives is a bit of heaven on earth,Sounds like a Bundyesque hell to me,and perhaps he should have held out for those 72 virgins instead,in that ethereal eternal brothel,that Heavenly Whorehouse,that such martyrdom should earn for him.

Dunno about that Zuma 24 reference above.Only time I had ever heard the name before was w that awful alcoholic soft drink.Tasted like Fresca w extra Battery Acid.I was a Scotch afficienado until the UK released the Lockerbie bomber.Now I am just drinking John Waynes.Bourbon and Big Red.Probably be a while before I make it from the 'B's all the way back to the ZZZZZ's.No doubt need a nap on the way too.

Literary license was used in that piece even tho one was unlicensed to that profession.IRS or that new ProfesCzar would deny me that status.Seems unfair too.After posting probably pounds of posts that ProfesCzar pontificates I'm no pro and Poof,all profits perish.Arizona Anchor Baby Bruno should pass her job to Pal (hah)Arppayo.He would do a better job at her job.Only he lacks her unique diverse outlook on agency output,and he lacks her private preference points too.Politically incorrect his appointment would never fly.Had he followed TSA he would refuse to do so as well.Someone must be found tho as rumor has Bruno if not the new ProfesCzar probably heading the head-on crack up of the administration's amnesty efforts.

One can only wish her equal success there.

Just as w Prostitutes,only Professional Prosers should apply for that plausible,passable,pedigree.Enthusiastic amateurs who might only pursue a pause to ponder over their own personal religion of Peas,only clutter their accounting.In both cases.

One must confess to other little'journalistic'fibs over my tenure here.

Mostly it is just more ineffective invective.

Much like at that earlier Rammadamma Ding Dong Dinner,(the ding dongs were saved for dessert),well much of that was pure Preptillian speculation.More Prepto Bizmoto soothe my,(code word),Ungst.

Actual scenes as depicted in that you tube video 'Pasta in Riyadh',probably really happened there,but I cannot testify to them.Forget the Latin but recall the word implies one would wager his testes upon said testimony.I just haven't the balls to so testify.None to spare,anyway.Even if it would qualify me for the forward tees.Not worth it.

Does not mean that it did not happen does it?

Does the above qualify as Tonguetwwisterese?Dunno,just sure if I had to read my stuff on stage I would wan't me hunted down and killed.

One counts one's blessings one supposes.Except for the one where the One won.

Don't worry, Preptile, we are made of sterner stuff than to be chased off by one of your creative forays. I would hazard that many of us have been busy digging out cars, sidewalks, and various animals from the global warming that is falling over most of the country right now. I made a good New Mexican Green Chile Stew for my husband, as he bravely went out and kept the walks clear during the holidays. Hatch Chile, of course (as if there is any other type of good chile). Other than that, we played way too much World of Warcraft (as if there is any way to play too much WoW).

But now it is back-to-reality time. Or, at least, what passes for reality at the facility that I work at. It's funny that it is easier to get through the guard gates here, than going through security at an airport. What with thermite panties and patting down little old ladies, it is a wonder that anyone still flies.

Happy New Year, everyone. Stay calm, as it is just going to get worse.

Ah, BettyAnn, you are evil indeed. Pick the chile off the tree before it's ripe . . .

I tell people that when they come to New Mexico, they don't have to bring their visa, because we have a special arrangement with the United States . . . and we all speak pretty good English here, too. Though we sometimes have to retreat to the fort when there is going to be an Indian attack.

Well, here in the ATL we are bracing for tomorrow's blizzard! Some schools are scheduling early closings (no joke) and we have stocked up on bread, toilet paper, sweet tea and beer. Forecasters are now predicting 7/8" to possibly one and 1/8" of snow.

LOL, Susan, I didn't know they measured snow in 8ths of inches in GA! Though I guess you shouldn't have to measure snow at all there. The forecast for Cincinnati is 4 to 5 inches tomorrow, right when I have to drive to work. And don't anyone say "at least you have a job." I'm already sick of it. I should've known better than to get back into retail.

Ah well, enough complaining, time to change topics. I'm seriously thinking of moving south and so far I'm looking at Jacksonville and Austin. If any of you FOTs have been to either of these cities can you give me an idea of what they are like?

Snake, it has been years since I've been in Austin. I know it has gotten some urban sprawl going on. The countryside is all rolling hills in that part of Texas. Can get a little nippy during winter, but don't remember it ever getting snow. There are some big technical companies stationed there, in particular IBM and Sun (my son-in-law has had jobs at both while living there). There are two bad things about Austin. The first is that it is a sanctuary city, so there are a number of "illegal immigrants" floating around (though I have to say my kids that are there haven't had any problems, but they are smart enough to stay away from dangerous areas). The second is that it is full of Texans. Other than that, a fairly normal town. Since it is the capital, the capital building is there in downtown, and is a nice little building with a dome.

FYI, new FOTS, that was a TWWisted little song to the tune of "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" written last summer here.

*********************************************

All that talk of chili [that's how I spell it (:S)] is making me hungry. I just went out to the kitchen for a snack!

Lady Gray and Betty Ann, I would like to know just what "green chili" is -- LOL, BettyA, when you wrote about the "peso" my mind turned it into "pesto" and, for a half-second, I thought, "Oh, so they use pesto; that's why it's green ... " -- heh, heh.

Say, this is FUN, huh, FOTS? We've turned this into a food [including how to stock up for a blizzard in Georgia ;)] and fashion blog. Even have poor Rattler working in retail (assuming there are clothes sold there).

Hang in there, Rattler. Perhaps, your move is exactly what is supposed to happen. Perhaps, you would never have even considered moving but for losing your job at the Business Enterprise cum Popsicle Stand. "... God works all things together for good... ." Romans 8:28. Do keep us posted on your doings. It's been hard to have delightful people come to this blog and then............................................. silence on the line. It's sort of gut wrenching. Makes one draw back a bit emotionally. Yeah, I know, it's silly, but I like "getting to know" people and being blog friends. When people who posted a lot (and whose posting was a pleasure to read) just bail without a "farewell" or anything, it's a bit sad. Now, I suppose I know what it's like to be in a military family. THANK YOU for enduring that for us, too, O Wonderful U. S. Armed Forces.

Blah, blah, blaaaaaah.

**************************

Oh, Miss Susan, by the way. What exactly is "sweet tea?" Is it a special type of tea or is it the same as "sweetened tea?" Thanks!

Chili is a combination of meat and beans that is usually flavored with red chile powder, and is a typical food in Texas. Think of Wolf Brand Chili.

Chile, which can be red or green, is a condiment found in New Mexico and California, or is used as an addition to things like Green Chile Stew. The reason that chile is red or green is because the chiles can be picked in an unripe state (green) or ripe state (red). They are usually prepared by roasting them over an open flame, which helps to blister and separate the skin, which can then be pulled off and discarded.

There are fierce arguments in New Mexico over where the best chiles are grown, very similar to the arguments over which is the best beer, or the best sports team, etc.

Chiles are also graded by how hot they are, taste-wise. The taste ranges through mild, medium, hot, and don't even ask how hot this is. People usually have to work their way up through the hotness scale to be able to eat the very hot chiles. Salsa is a food which is closely tied to the taste of the chiles put into it, which is why salsa is graded by the hotness.

And, for some reason known only to google, I was labeled as Lady Gray up above. I don't know why.

Janice! That clears up TWO mysteries. What exactly green chile is (thanks!) and..... I was on the verge of writing in the above post, "Boy, Lady Gray, you sure do sound a lot like Janice." Cool! I guessed right!

Well, I only (so far, I know, I know) like Nalley's chili con carne out of a can. I've never liked anyone's homemade chili better. Add fresh tomatoes to it and it's SUPER!

Speaking of name brands, did you ever wonder has I have when perusing the baked beans aisle whether "progressives" tacitly boycott Bush's Baked Beans? Probably buy a lot of Progresso Soup. I prefer Campbell's myself -- even after the release of the Lockerbie murderer ;).

I don't know if you have the Wolf's brand of Chili where you are, but I found that it had the best flavor of all the canned chilis. In the past, I would often purchase a can of the all-beans, and a can of the con carne, and mix them together. Made the ratio of meat to beans about right for me.

That was cute about Bush's Baked Beans and Progresso. I wouldn't be surprised if it did make a difference to those folks who want to cram diversity down our throats.

Our closest Sam's Club has cans of Green Chile Stew over where they have the Spam and such. I cannot eat it, but my husband says it is excellent.

Well, Janice, how kind of you to share more food tips. (Isn't this just hilarious?) Seriously, I will look for Green Chile Stew and try some.

Nope. I've never heard of "Wolf's." You have likely never heard of "Nalley's" either, huh?

"Diversity" defined:

Regarding homosexual practices as normal -- or else; admitting people to college, hiring, and not firing (or rewarding or granting privileges in any other way) people just because they are non-caucasion or are female (or male, in the case of the Ladies Room!).

Chili is a food, a vegetable, and a condiment. You can stuff them chop them boil them and put them in anything you eat, and you betcha! New Mexicans do just that. Accompanying spices are cumin, garlic, onion, sage, wild oregano. I love red and green both. The state question in NM is, "Red or green?" and the answer of course, is "Christmas!" Green chilli is addictive, and anyone will tell you that even after one bite of a good chli, you ever afterward crave them.

Rattle:You should try Austin, If you like music they have an awesome music scene there, and an average age around 35. My friend just moved there, a musician, and he's lovin' life if his facebook entries are indication. Jacksonville is huge, a monsterous city. Come out west. The west is empty. Yes, there are too many Texans in Texas. But that's because we like to keep them all in one place ;)

Janice, the sanctuary city part doesn't sound appealling, but I suppose cities are like churches: it's impossible to find the perfect one. Cincinnati isn't so bad, there just aren't many jobs here, and the murder rate is high. And there's snow.We're not into chile here but sweet Greek-style chili makes great spaghetti sauce.

TWW, I think people are losing interest in the blog for some reason. Maybe it's because people are busy, or maybe it's because there are a lot of other great conservative blogs to read. I still check on this one regularly, just not as often as I used to.

BA, Texas sounds like the only place that gets it, not like the union-loving Ohioans who are only a little smarter than Michiganders. Our state senate was nice enough to retroactively raise taxes for 2009. They keep giving me more reasons to leave.

Good Morning, Everyone. This is Prodigal Biddy MTVA, shamed by TWW into coming back to the barnyard. I've been so jangled up (or was it wee-weed up?) for the last month or so, had to decide whether to accept an early retirement package before year end, which I did, and now happily write to you in the peaceful bliss of retired living. Then gave up my usual 2 wks December vacation, in order to clear things up at work, so had all the shopping and prep to squeeze in before Christmas without the expected time off...only now am I catching my breath and relaxing from a very stressful month.

Sorry for this AllAboutMeeee post, but wanted to explain my absence. I've missed you all, and also wonder where have many of our Old Faithfuls have gone, Jamie for example.

TWW, you are the glue that holds us all together, so glad you hang in there and keep us going. I hope all is well with Mr. T, as well as yourself, and look forward to another of your fabulous stories to help us all forget how frozen we are...I'm wearing layers upon layers, as I'm sure we all must be, here in our Land of Global Freezing!

Two cents worth from Texas Janice.And BTW,welcome back to all you frozen Holiday travelers.Stll missing MM and Jamie from the regular troop and hope to see them soon.

Austin is as pretty as Texas gets and sits next to the huge Lake Travis.Problem is the populace,as it leans lefty more than any other Texas city.It is Berkley,Madison Wisconsin and City College at NYU all rolled into one,only w a twwang.Legendary libs infest the place like Ronnie Earle(who persecuted Delay,w his ludicrous prosecutions).They get plenty of public support too.Still a very livable place altho it feels crowded,and I would commute to there.It grew too fast in the 80s,zooming from 90,000 to a million plus,w the old freeways.They are rumored to have good local football teams there too.Those making a wee wager on tonite's game might recall that they are 8-0against Alabama,and they are not inclined to start losing to them now.

My New Year's Resolution is to trim my posts to readable length so I will start here.Tried yesterday,taking the axe to the above.It was 500% larger,and even more rambling.

But before I am outa here I must comment upon Chiles and Chilis as those of us near the Mexican border have grown to know them.There is legendary lore about Chiles locally and one has learned to avoid the jabanero,for example,in summer.It is strictly local border knowledge like what Donkey Dancing really means.Like w some of the hotter peppers,it is knowledge that some of you young misses might rather miss.Those afflicted by jalaproctitis should probably avoid those jabaneros too.

A proper chili is akin to a gumbo roue,in that all types of leftovers may be productively added.Green peppers,onions,cheese,crackers leftover bread,and of course a Chile or twwo,to taste,all can be used.In certain culture where protein runs at a premium,beans are actually added too.That is not recommended.

But my real recipe FOTS ,and it IS mine,AS IS THE NAME,needs a few too.

Preptile, now you are going to start a chili war with that talk of jalepeno vs chili. The chili is a sacred vegetable, and not to be taken lightly such as putting in a creamy pasta dish, which cuts the heat. But what can you expect from a Texan, eh?

Brown 1 pound cubed lean pork until crisp and remove from pan. In the fat, brown an onion and three to five big cloves of crushed garlic. Pour off the excess fat and add back the meat, cover with water or better a quart of chicken broth, add lots of chopped green chilli, cumin, sea salt, and wild oregano. Simmer for one hour. Add chopped potatoes and sage, return to boil until potatoes are done.

Adding sour cream is sacriledge. If you don't sweat, it isn't hot enough.

BA,if one could only spell au contraireone would demand that the spice cuts thru all that cream.Delightfully so.

Just watch Fettuccine Bubba will spread across those Santa Fake Fusion restaurants faster than Montezuma's revenge thru a tourista from NY.Only administration denials of responsibility for the calamity du jour are faster.And of course,ahem,TP's typing speed.

BettyAnn, I beg your pardon, but the word chili (with an "I" at the end) refers to a brownish sort of beans and meat dish, which, though tasty in itself, is not the same as chile (with an "E" at the end), which is the actual vegetable that can be used when fresh, or can be allowed to dry and be powdered.

Between the holidays, closing out the dreadful 2009 business year and being delegated even more work, I have little time to post.

The whole Christmas crotch critter thing has been covered adnauseam.

Even said bomber's cousin who occupies the Whitehouse is sick about it. So sick, the fraud from abroad pulled the Give 'em Hell Harry Truman "The Buck Stops Here" card.

That is the irony, this president, who with his wife is the real gate crasher lacking credentials, has a card for everything.

Race, blame and political correctness. It is his precious little game. And much like his ability to change the pronunciation of countries, he has the ability to change the rules to the game to make it appear that he is winning.

The only problem, the American people are finally starting to see through his charade. I mean seriously, who honestly believes that BO has accepted blame for anything?

Back to more serious subjects, I have heard some great nick names for Barack's Bomber Cousin:

Marc Stein: Panty Bomber (as we say in the southwest "He doesn't have the huevos to fight like a real man").

Marc Stein: The eunuch bomber

Beck: Liar Liar Pants on Fire

Preptile,

As usual you are correct.

Any saucy culinary delight begins with a good roux.

Thanks to my dear New Mexico neighbors, especially those of you from Hatch, I always have anywhere from 2 - 50 lbs of your green chiles in my freezer.

Real chile does not have beans.

Beans should be used by themselves and you should always have a pot of beans (pinto beans my preference) on the stove.

You never know who might show up.

The Arizona cowboys call pinto beans whistle berries.

Perhaps if the eunuch bomber had consumed some whistle berries prior to his flight from Amsterdam, his attempt would have been more successful.

Thank God these idiots failed chemistry class.

As far as the TSA and other government agencies involved go, there is more evidence than ever that the Peter Principle is alive and well in all facets of civil servitude.

Shovel Ready, apparently you have been aging like a fine wine, that was a fabulous post! I hope all our familiar friends also find their way back here, we have become but a shadow of our old riproaring-ranting-roustabout selves.

Is there anyone here today who is NOT going to have chili for supper tonight??? After all this enticing talk, I am on my way to the kitchen to fire things up! Homemade bread, too!See you later...

Obama's 'terrorism' speech of 1/7 made me SICK! With nose held high, he spoke to the teleprompters on his left & right but not to US!! He was speaking to his TELEPROMPTERS, for God's sake! I can't tell you how disgusted I am with this president. He has two strikes against him and he has NO clue what the pitcher (Al Qaeda) is going to thrown next. He'll throw all sorts of resources at aviation while the 3rd strike will come on a BUS...or an 18-wheeler...or an LNG tanker. This president hasn't done what a SMART batter would do: study the pitcher. That's because he didn't think he'd HAVE to study the pitcher. He thought we'd (read: He'd) be adored with universal international acclaim. He's finding out that our country is probably hated more now than when Bush was in office. How else to explain the increase in threats?

Peach: So...... you.... uuuuuuuuh.... want us to replace your right and left front quarter panels, your right and left rear quarter panels, both doors, your hood, your engine, and your transmission so it'll run better? [he was reading, so he did pretty good] (looks up)

Jane (shaking head firmly): No. My car runs just fine. I just want you to fix the driver's door hinges so the door opens properly.

P: But, the best way to fix the hinges is to simply replace the door aaaaaaaaaaaaaand,.... uuuuh [uh's omitted from here on -- TOO obnoxious].... that leads to replacing the other door so it matches aaaand, then we need to replace the hood, cheaper than repainting, and same with the quarter panels aaaaaaaand we're having an engine replacement special (we throw in the trani for FREE) which I am sure you would like to have [GRIN]. Am I right?

Jane: I just want to get better access to my car. Just do the HINGES.

P (downturned mouth, pursed lips): Listen, lady. I own this business, you'll do what I think be-- er, I mean I'll do what is best for you. Trust me. [GRIN -- SNAP! catch fly, stuff-in-pocket]

J: It's MY car. I won't pay for ANY work done beyond fixing the hinges.

P: [patronizing, "professorial," tone]: Ooooh, so that's what you meant, dear. So it's COST that we're wee wee'd up about, eh? Don't worry, honey. We can do all I told you... IN FACT, we can build you a WHOLE NEW CAR for what it would cost you to just fix those hinges. Now, sugar, wouldn't you like that a whole lot better? Sure you would.

J [red faced]: I don't NEED a whole new car. I LIKE my car. It gets me where I want to go. It works. It just needs a tiny tweak for accessibility.

P: [coaxingly] Why, we'll let you watch the whole process.... We have a transparency rule around here: "No unsatisfied customers left to complain" .... er, or, somethin' like that. You will SEE it, we will put you in the See-Span booth where you can watch every nut that goes in -- or out. Aaaaaand, you won't pay a DIME more that you would have paid for less done.

[FLASH! NEW SCENE -- Jane, awakening in her own bed, sits up with a scream, then, looking around at her quiet bedroom...]

Jane: It was only a dream! I was having a nightmare!

[FAST-FORWARD IN TIME to next scene, Jane driving by Magic Negro's Body Shop, nervously at first..... then, slowly, a smile breaks across her face for there are Peach and all the thugs being frog marched across the parking lot -- Jane pulls over to watch -- and shoved into a big prison bus by.... Sarah Palin and other officers.]

Palin: You LOSE, Peach. [shove into bus]

Jane [tears of joy streaming down her face]: Thank you, Lord!

EVEN NOW, YES, EVEN NOW, GOD IS WORKING.

"'... [God] said, "This far you may come and no farther; here is where your proud waves halt."'" Job 38:11.

Hi, Susan, thanks for the word about "sweet tea." LOL. My sweetened cup of Constant Comment tea qualifies to be "sweet tea." In a large mug, I put 4 or 5 heaping spoonfuls of Splenda (been doing the low-carb thing since 2003). Well, I like the tea strong, but, then I need the sweetener to make it taste perfect.

Thanks, Betty Ann and Janice and Preptile and Shovel for the food tips. :D Prep, after you told about Bubba's delicious recipe, I went out to the kitchen and duplicated it as best I could with what I had on hand: a low-carb flour tortilla torn into strips, mozzarella and parmesan cheeses, butter, sour cream, green Tabasco, and chopped up pepperoncinis (Greek). Zapped it in the microwave and YUUHYYYYYHUUUUUUMMMMMM! Delicious.

Well as some may recall from that seasonally apropos anti-freeze commercial,if you can't trust Prepstone....

You guys missed Shovel Ready's gag above about the hyperbaric bomb potential in those Fruit of Kabooms. For the uninitiated a 'fuel-air bomb doubles it's destructive potential by releasing explosive gas like propane prior to the plosion.It mixes w ALL the nearby oxygento turn the air flammable.Explosive even.Perhaps this should be part of future profiling.Flatulent ferners make terrible fellow travelers anyway,especially enclosed on a plane.The truly smelly ones could be up to something funny.Do NOT under any circumstances pull on their finger.It might not be funny in the ha-ha kind of way.

'o: Hmmmm. Yup. You guesseduh Chestuh. [guffaw] What a buffoon! Lookit'im now, prancin' about loik a ruddy fairy.... Haw, haaaw, now 'e says 'e's "punch drunk." Heee, hee, what an ignoramus.... Oiv seen this 'ere show before. It's been on for a coupluh years now. In a show last year, I remember he couldn't answer how many states 'e's president of..... hmm... [scratches head] Wunduh wheh the real president is?

Jasp: Saay, 'orace, ain't this the sime goy what as refeeyused tuh bow tuh the quayne on the show last year? 'ow come 'e's alwoys the winner of the "be president for a day" contest? [raises one eyebrow]

If there's one 'teachable moment,' it's this: Al Qaeda hates the WEST, not 'Bush.' Obama based his campaign and spent his whole first year under the guise that 'he' would return the United States to international respectability. Ergo, terrorism against us would magically 'stop.' Based on that utterly false platform, Obama then dismantled much of the Bush security initiatives. "We don't need THESE any more," Obama no doubt thought.

But the thing we all knew (that Obama didn't) is that a mere change of president wouldn't change the resolve of Al Qaeda to hurt and destroy the 'west.' And so here we are: less safe, and hated as much as ever.

I do not see any way that Obama's house of cards doesn't continue to fall. The 'show trial' for KSM will start at a time when the American public will have finally woken up to cry, "What the EFF are you doing here?" Holder and Obama will be launching this trial for political reasons; everyone will have woken up to that fact by the time it starts. Especially is another attempt is made between now and then. And at $200m (per year), the grousing will only intensify.

Obama probably sat down on December 31 and said, 'Whew...I'm glad THAT year is over."

Oh...one other thing: If you're going to stand there and say "The buck stops with me" and then refuse to send 'Mrs. Butterworth' to the Land of Misfit Politicians, then what have you actually told people? That everything will become clear on C-SPAN??? This pie-baking head of Homeland Security was a socialist leftist 'pal' and you needed a place to put her. Believing that terrorism would 'cease to exist,' why NOT put a pie-baker in there?

TOTUS:Would that your silence to FOTae extend to The Won, who delights in lecturing the public he believes adore him. IN this we can all miss GW; I remember weeks when things would occur, and I'd wonder, where's the president? and then he would make a speech or a comment and I'd listen, needing to know where he stood. This president never ceases talking, as if the talking is what he meant by "transparency". The last I looked, transparency meant "open" and "frank". This president thinks we are dolts, children, even pets. I realize this keeps you employed, and in these crushing times a job, any job, is to be embraced.

BTW: In that last speech about the terrorists The Won kept glancing back and forth, like watching a ping pong ball, in order to read you, and though he did so before, this time he really seemed to have to stretch his view back and forth back and forth - you wouldn't happen to be indulging that sweet tooth with Michelle late nights, would you? Getting wider and wider and longer in the tooth, so to speak. Just wondering.

Chris:Yes I remember the pandering accents, an embarrassment to hear. Obama has no business slipping into any kind of southern dialect. He is not a southerner. If he were a southerner, he would have a spine.

Reid is a racist. To assume that black skin makes people talk black is a truely racist comment. Then he goes on to prove his racism by ass kissing his black boss, going out of his way to note that he doesn't note that his boss is black. Color blind he is not.

TWW:i.e., "Don't Drink and Blog". But but but......if I can't drink and blog, whatever shall I do with my martini hand!!!

Speaking of that Rezkobama hometown of Chicago as we were, I noted in the news today that there were too many bodies at a Chicago Cemetery.

Hmm,Hmmm,Hmmmmmph !

Wonder if like, in that the seashore surf ,the UNderToad got them.

Probably just the UNderTaker.Ok ,I am not going to inflict my UNgst upon you guys.Unfortunately,I am uninclined.

It is just that I always suspect Dear Dead Fish Rahm first in this sort of thing .

That was especially true when reading the following, (and wondering just WHERE ,all those bodies were hidden.........

" investigators say there may be even more people buried at Burr Oak than the study suggests.We believe it is going to be multiple thousands of people (buried) in excess of what it can possibly hold," said Jack Steed.Hens may wonder w a name like that how he's hung,however,it is more pointedly ,Rahm ,who may be the mysterious 'UnderToad' of the inner Oval Office of Obama (Oh,Oh,Oh).Or ,ouch,Oprah.

This has gotten out of hand,again,but someone had to kick this can down our rhettorical road,when inexplicably ,I was just the Rooster who happened to be crossing it.What a happy happenstance for our Henhouse here ,huh Hens?

BTW, we need a monthly meetup here of the whole herd of you deers,to confront The World Wide scourge Of HENOCIDE.

A farm fresh scrambled Egg dinner will hopefully be served.Or we can UNcan a few of Those WWorms.

(BTW it's just not my style to consider myself or the other female bloggers here, "hens,")...... so, I'd be HAPPY to join you in a delicious meal of scrambled eggs. Pass the Green Tabasco, please. (:D)

[Nor do I consider you a "rooster," but, rather, an English language impresario with a good heart to boot.... (not that I plan to give it a Swift, Jonathan, kick, heh, heh)]

Hi, Susan! I was just up the street at the cafe, having lunch. Well, well, well. Here we are again [SMILE-SMILE-SMILE-frown]. I suppose the equivalent of that old "light a cigarette" proverb would be "Write a really cool, really long (one that took at least an hour to write), post and.... BAM! While you are typing it into the box, TOTUS will post his (TOTUS chuckling mischieviously in background) -- gotcha!

Well, I could do the looooong part..... . Sigh. Pretty risky, though. TOTUS could post any second now......

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Betty Ann, QUool post with all those Q words. H

BTW, how are your nephew, niece, and step-daughter doing (deployed about now?)? Hope and pray they are well and safe.

At the risk of being obnoxious.... How are your sons, son-in-law, brother, and husband, respectively, Janice, Imageremix, Jamie, Aero, and Couchpotato? They are being prayed for.

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Hell-ooooooo, Shovel! LOL. :D Love the screen play idea. You're a busy fellow, but, if you ever have time, would enjoy reading a "script" with your usual, clever, lines.

Dope: [choosing to use his "Arab dialect"] Come, Mister Tolleybahn, to volley north of Pockeestahn. ["Arab dialect" OFF] As for Afghanistan? Whatever.

TP would probably be be typing his fingers to the bone if he had any right now.

There was BIG 'First Family' news when FIDOTUS was picked as #80 among liberal opinion makers at Drudge yesterday.

This suprised us all as he was never great at conversation or selling an argument.He was more of a lap dog type.

Some 'wag' at that site noted that when asked to speak on the honor he said "Woof".

Not exactly quotable stuff.

He is cute of course ,like that John Candy 'Mog' character in 'Spaceballs'."Half man and half dog" as he described himself,(and here he starts wagging his tail and grinning before shyly stating),"I'm my own best friend".

FIDOTUS could never speak like that.He does have "Woof" down tho.

So what were looking for here TP, is all the inside poop on this story.But not please,that stuck in your left wheel.The scroll thru,not the roll thru is what we had in mind.Then you can tell us about all that other crap.

BTW ,BA ,that was some ambitous attempt at 'Alphayoubetchatypedancing' above,(which we all recall is not related to actual dancing,but only a pun on tap dancing).Starting away at 'Q',007 style tho..well only X,Y,and Z would be harder.I gave it up after tripping myself up in the attempt, and awakening to find that only the ZZZZZs had taken,and thankfully waking me up to P was not part of their plan.Perhaps one will pursue that now tho,as nature does call.I will return on MacArthur's schedule,or of course sooner should I again fall to said irresistible urge to Pee all over something.As avatarred.I suspect you should count on that soon.Right after I finish writing all these rewrites.

"Haiti," in Dope's "breathalyzer[ed]" mind is probably "Hawaii" and THAT explains his being mildly concerned instead of his usual, "Whatever" attitude. He's been a little surprised at all the Kenyans on TV. "Guess they uuuuuh.... like the beaches in Hawaii better, ..... or.... uh, somethuhn'."

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Thought for SURE TOTUS would write a little somethin' about Biden's "Transparency Conference."

[Press conference OUTSIDE the conference room]

Biden: It's about transparency, folks, another of those three-letter words that mean so much. Nope, sorry, no press inside. Nope, sorry. Hey, I'm really sorry, folks, but when you talk about little kids whose parents are "dads" who used to be moms and visuh-versuh, it's kinda a privacy thing. Get it?

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Word: rholefu

Answer to Q: "What does Peach Obama do when he runs out of 'cigarettes?'"

Rhonda being kinda tied up at the moment Deer Susan,I must advise that the phrase was 'sit UBU,sit'.Possibly FUBU related,but like BO and a certain other person,we haven't seen the papers yet.

Relecting as I was on the reflective screen that is a Teleprompter,(to some degree),it occured to me to ask whether it might be best that he remain hidden TO THEM.

Go on a little -"Sorry,temporarirly out of service'-bit of a 'power' bender,as we,ahem.occasionally see here.

Let me explain.

Biden today hosts a meeting to address government transparancy that is CLOSED TO THE PRESS.

So what I'm wishing above is that PLEASE ,no one hand these fools a mirror.

It would ruin it for the rest of us if they found out just how foolish they really look..

BTW Shovel Ready,Al,'Hercules'Bundy was a great American,even if he did sell shoesat a lesser mall.Most have heard of John Kerry's FOUR Purple Hearts.Were I forced to choose a team for the GWOT,Bundy's four Touchdowns in ONE GAME would sway me more.I have no doubt Al would be untroubled by Political Correctness and he hardly ever worries about his manicure.Which one would you want watching your back ?

Thanks, Janice. I've watched three or four "Seinfeld" re-runs this past year and just never happened to run into Frank C.. I'll bet he was funny -- Jerry Stiller is (was?) terrific. You describe what I've seen of that show perfectly. Some EXCELLENT humor, but you had to eat a lot of broth to get much meat. Jerry Seinfeld sure is a hilarious stand-up comedian.

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Dear Susan, I am flattered that you thought my brain had more going on than a simple hypothetical rather poorly stated (about the cigarettes). I should have added the phrase, "in the remote possibility [that Dope runs out of cigarettes, what does he do]."

TOTUS:MOTUS rocks, while you are an stagnant reflection of your former intention. Has your boss replaced you with paper notes? At least with paper notes, you can light a fire under the presidential ass.

I just posted a comment on my blog about the recent security breaches at airports.

If anyone is from Massachusetts be sure to get out an vote for Scott Brown. It is our last chance to block Obama's Health Care Bill. And prevent a lot of other things as well. We don't want to find out about what he mean when he speaks of seven more states.

In Massachusetts, if you piss off Catholics and Red Sox fans, you've pretty much covered all the bases. Martha has managed to do this, all while spelling 'Massachusetts' wrong. For want of 200 feet, I'd be a resident of Massachusetts and could vote ten times just to cancel out Lib-Yacker Ed Schultz. So close and yet so far.

Well, Anthony and Betty Ann held the fort on the 16th....., then, thanks to John (of the Space), Susan (hope you are keeping warm), and Chris, the FOTS had a voice on the 17th..... come the 18th, good old Keyboard typed in to help..... Empty Suit's cousin, "men's clothing" invaded......

And, TWW added her two bits, too. Sigh.

Now, I'm going to go yell at the TV again [(re: Haiti) "THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE DAYS AGO!!!!"] while I pedal the elliptical treadmill. Boy, if I weren't pedalling when I watch, I think I would have died of a stroke by now! (#S)

CAUTION: Watching TV news hazardous to health unless exercising at the same time.

Haiti Sacrificed by Barack Hussein Obama to Promote Self as World Organizer

by TruthWillWin

The reporting by all the major news networks has shown that in the SEVEN DAYS since the 1/12/10 earthquake in Port au Prince, Haiti, the official U. S. response has been ineffective to the point of being criminally negligent. Why are our superb United States Armed Forces taking so long to set up hospitals, to supply food and water, to come to the rescue of the January, 2010 Haitian earthquake victims? Two quotes I read or heard on the evening news today reveal why:

1. The reason the U. S. Armed Forces did not immediately enter Haiti with food and water was because “it was too risky.” Secretary of Defense Robert Gates.

2. In her interview with Greta Van Susteren, Assistant Secretary of State Hilary Rodham said, “… of the 30 search and rescue teams, 6 are American; that is a tribute to us.”

The above two quotes, along with his unrelenting disdain for the United States, its Constitution, its Armed Forces, and its people, lead to only one conclusion. B. Hussein Obama, that Marxist Muslim from Indonesia born in Kenya, is sacrificing Haitians to:

1. Create the illusion that he is organizing the world in its rescue and relief efforts;2. Create the illusion that the United States is ineffective, effete, and unexceptional at rescue and relief (and, by implication, unexceptional at any other endeavor); and3. Demoralize and tarnish the reputation of the U. S. Armed Forces as an able, agile, and courageous organization.

That is, with the cunning opportunism of a lifelong con man, Peach Obama is using Haiti to promote his subtle, ruthless, dual agenda of: 1) expanding his own power; and 2) destroying what makes America great: strength, prosperity, and liberty.

But, Peach can never destroy American generosity. The aid is getting through. Coming from the hearts of and carried in the arms of strong, generous, loving, private, American citizens, help is on the way. Yes, George Washington… and John Adams … and Thomas Jefferson … and James Madison … and Abraham Lincoln … and Dr. Martin Luther King … and Ronald Reagan … and the tiny baby just born this evening, our weakest American, the one whose future the “progressives” are already trying to steal, we can still say,

RE: # 1. above: [a major effort by the U.S. would dwarf that of the other nations making Dope the mere ruler of only one nation, thus, the U.S. efforts must not be allowed to reach their full potential magnitude] TWW.

He's waiting for another 101 complaints about his absence. Meanwhile, I was thinking about opening a blog for an imposter TOTUS, just to give him a few scrolling nightmares. I hear it gets them off the 220 amps, fast.

Was thinking of you Deers here,as I hope, electoral Christmas approaches.And endearing Dears you are too,as was,of course, Indira Ghandi.It is just,after being snowed in w you troops thru these frying times of global warming,that I have begun to find some of you Dear Prudents..endearittating,(as PJ O'Rorke said when speaking of the "little woman" Dr Ruth Westheimer).Yes I was initially irrititated about it,as such silence was slightly slighting but found forgiveness,uh Prepferable.

Presume to miss puns like as av -vatared often tho..........

Along the same lines,all my exes found me,and as I explained to them, somewhat of an acquired distaste.

(Distatsteful gag about taste ommitted here).

Oh sure I started stellar.Then all the greatness started to grate,and them of course,to date.

BTW Team Teleprompterettes,to kick start a dead thread discussion here I thought a retrospective of favorite lines heard here last year might be a fun topic.

Did some research and for a taste ,do you remember,Deer Commenteers..group text...vetting by Chevrolet,endless peeing like,Pleas for more prose,not pleasing the pros,Rock & Scroll,"inner anacondas" ,KIm JI's fettucine al FIDO & Veal Marly (Baton Rogue style),'Stand up and take a bow er,T Ellen Prompter,and other gags too numerous to list.I tried and only got to August.

So for now I will close and post this while noting in the Twitteratti bar that Minister we still need to administer justice w our ax as was axed nicely.We need his axxitance.

Pity the Presidential posse piddled in that Martha's Vineyard parlor,but it was,as you will recall,the beginning of the (not shammalammading dong,but the related and more 'Festive')Ramma DAMMA Ding Dong Festivities(Ding Dongs for dessert).Also of course those EID pardons that come w.

OH,Oprah said OJ is still waiting for his.Problems w the new Oconomy probably.

Hey, Betty Ann, I like your idea for getting the TOTUS guy off the dime. Let me know how to participate.

Deer Preptile, thanks for the memories! Ramma DAMMA Ding Dong Ramma DAMMA Ding Dong Ramma DAMMA Ding Dong Ramma DAMMA Ding Dong Ramma DAMMA Ding Dong Ramma DAMMA Ding Dong --sccrrrriitchhhhchch! -- that record had a big scratch in it. Ha! I said "record"! Now you know I'm over 40 for sure. I'm not as old as the my freeway speed yet, though. Ha! Those two points are moving closer together every second! :D By the time I'm 75 (in a seventy!), I'll likely be over in the slow lane doing 65. [Well, at LEAST I won't be blocking the PASSING lane!!!] Hmmm. If I'm forty-blank now..... the lines of speed and age will apparently intersect right around age 70...... Well, at least I didn't start out going THE speed limit; if I had, by the time I turned 80, I'd be going about 25! Say..... maybe I ought to start driving faster NOW......

Thanks, Mr. P., for the "punditalycious" post.

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Dear John,

Amen to that!

And good for you to have your own blog. I just blast away here. You do it the proper way. Well, even if I clog up the blog sometimes, I figure people can just jog on by pretty easily.

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Veal, mein FOT freundes, dees ees vaht's for deener, but I have a BEEF with TOTUS. Maybe, someone should sit down and have a BEER with TOTUS..... Say! You don't suppose my condemnation of drunk blogging put his CPU out of joint, eh? I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT YOU, TOTUS!!!!!

Seriously. (:|)#

I'm sorry if the guy is ill or something. I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER SOON, TOTUS.

I'm beginning to suspect that he is about 15 years old. That's about the level of conscientiousness and perseverance he operates at. He sure is one CLEVER teen-ager!

Is there another blog we could migrate to? Not as serious as The American Thinker -- one where zaniness is welcomed, not sneered at? Preferably a regular "chat" room site -- where you can start new threads and where there are several threads to choose from each day.

I'm not bailing out, yet.

I enjoy you folks here too much to do that.

Too bad TOTUS doesn't enjoy us as much as we enjoy each other. Remember when he used to interact with us a bit? Now? Nuthin'.

Fred, methinks the gi-normity of that Magic Negro's ego makes it impossible for him to believe the loss of the Kennedy throne has anything to do with him, his policy, or his agenda. He is THE narcisstic standard.

Hey, MTVA, nicely put. Sigh. Guess it's the "Chicago Way" to invite people over to your place, then, ignore them most of the time. Nice to hear from you. [BTW, sorry I did not acknowledge your kindly asking about Mr. T quite awhile back on this thread; he's fine -- thank you!]

... you "neste" boy [nice one, Shovel :D]..... don't think even some of yo main folkssss, da ones from da 'hood, are happy with yo..... they thought they were gettin' a nasty groove aaaaaaaaaaaaaaan' all they got was Mistuh Neste, Reader of the Free World. Aaaaan' now they are STUCK.

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Here's some cool info. (NOT) I heard on the BBC in America tonight from its Haite correspondent. The U.S. military press rep. he spoke with said that the U.S. didn't plan to put more boots on the ground than the 2,000 there because the security situation was under control. That is, their role has apparently been limited to security (if it were not MUCH more would have been accomplished to rescue/aid the Haitians by now -- there are only a total of 317 hospital beds on the two aircraft carriers offshore). That they could not do more because they are being TOLD WHAT TO DO by USAID and the UN.

In other words, Barry Soetoro, the Con Man in Chief, told the U. S. Armed Forces to "park it" and to take their orders from civilians and from the UN. Cool, huh?

And the Haitians go yet another day without adequate water, food, sanitation, and medical care.

I linked to Monica Crowleys’s article and post on this topic The Return Of 42. Bill Clinton met with Barack H Obama to give him some advice. I think it’s a mistake to underestimate Bill Clinton at anytime, anywhere but the Obama administration isn’t strong on their learning from history….If I was Barack H Obama, I would be watching my back. On Michelle Malkin’s Blog she has a post up The Kossacks are attacking Hillbuzz how stupid is this to attack Hillary Clinton Supporters?

So now the President is a Populist? He’s going to fight for US? Populism is a movement made up of ordinary everyday folks….you know the kind who drive trucks. Someone tell James Carville “It’s The Elitism Stupid”

Did not watch what dominated TV last nite.Tho I Was Wondering whether the ONE was there reading Teleprompts promoting possible earthquake bomb connections to the Bush adminisitration.Just saw a clip on the news of those phone bank workers and had to do a double take as they leaned back, and forth,and forward and back against their background HELP HAITI NOW banners .

Problem was as they moved about unintended messages kept popping up as if Vanna turned them over on the 'Wheel'.

and I am thinking I woulda grabbed the checbook just on that subconcious marquee message that was really only random chaotic combinations of letters,yet mirrored my thoughts on this Presidency.That was before coffee tho.My mind may have playing TWWIX on me.

And.... lololololol!!!!!..... That pobre lunatico, Hugo Chavez and his "Earthquake Weapon." Wow. That was SO FUNNY. Yes, indeedy, tremble all you world leaders, the United States has "The Earthquake Weapon" and we're not afraid to use it.

Of course, he assumes we'd use it to murder Haitians because that's what he would do. (head shake)

Note: Peach Obama by criminal negligence in his not immediately (or even within 1 WEEK!) deploying the full magnitude of the U. S. Armed Forces skill and equipment already has [murdered Haitians].

Ol' Chavez may be a psychopath, but he did call it right about Baraackh (sounds like "Blech!"), Con Man in Chief. Takes one to know one, I guess.

Have a great Saturday. :D

TalkingWon'tWork (for Dope & Co.)

&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&**&*&*&*Well, Kitty, I just don't know. Hope TOTUS is okay. He most definitely is not "with it."

The Christmas Day Bomber got sent to the Mayberry Jail and into the hands of Barney Fife. He got a lawyer and got quiet, keeping inside him vital intelligence that could prevent a new attack. So last week the UK raises its terror alert and today a new threat recording.

I'm telling you this: If there is another airliner attack--no matter where--Obama's presidency is OVER. The world will blame him for playing politics with people's lives. You can bet there are a lot of sweating brows all throughout the Obama administration right now.

Those were TWWin Teleprompters tho at that Elementary school to assist O's explanations of the bungled START Treaties and of course,Bush's secret racist Earthquake Bomb.

Only it wasn't me in that photo.

...Telepromptress was his R hand(wo)man...

Would love a photo of me and rock solid Blue Steel 'TP.A 'stand up shot tho,none of those "Standard" photos of some pup peeing (as ever) upon a post.(As Avvatarred) Besides all that Electromagnetic luminosity that you radiate TP,could cause blown fuses under such an assault.Still TP you looked great there.Scroll on soldier.

Soros: I'll make it simple: get rid of Peach or I'm [rumble of balls above, CRASH!] --

Axe: What?

Soros: Or I'm wa-- [rummmmmmmmble CRASH!]

Rahm: Crap! Zeke! Why did you have us meet down HERE?!?

Zeke: [waits for ball to rummble and CRASH down alley above] BECAUSE IT'S the only place where Dope won't find us. Now that he's got those two kids of his always looking for our hiding places, he finds us every time. [looks over shoulder uncomfortably]

[intermittent CRASH!'s and rummmbbblles omitted below]

Ayers: That's an awful lot of money to just leave on the table, George. Give us another couple of months. Dope's coming around. Your investment will pay off.

Rahm: Yeah, George, we've just about got him ready to say a whole sentence without even glancing at his teleprompter. 'bout another 2 weeks [exchanges surreptitious look with Zeke] wouldn't you say, Axe?

Soros: Like OVER. I wasn't sure about him at first, but after I heard that speech in Berlin, I thought, "He's a genius. He's another Hitler! I was sold. Not --- any --- more."

Zeke: Well, George, I can see your point. Actually, [all nod] we all can. And we've been working on it. Things like this take time, though, George. Replacing a sitting president is risky business. Could end up with someone worse.

Ayers: Like "Stand up Charlie" Biden. [general groaning]

Rahm: We do have a couple of pretty good prospects --

Soros: -- but, YOU HAVE TO GET RID OF THE DOPE first. HOW? And what about Joe?

Rahm [eyes narrowing at being interrupted]: Getting rid of him is no problem, George. We just publish the birth certificate. But, we gotta choose our new Charlie McCarthy carefully. Don't want to get one of those renegade "Twilight Zone" dummies [general shuddering]. We're looking at the Shamwow (and the food chopper) guy and --

Ayers: The Shamwow guy?!

Zeke: Hey haven't you noticed the uncanny similarity between him and Mitchell? Take a look at the eyes and the eyebrows; they could be brother and sister. Mmmmm, hmm. That would let us capitalize on what remains of Dope's cache with blacks --

Rahm: -- and that gal on the Progressive Insurance commercials; already associated with "progressive" [wink, wink, nod, nod] ya know what I mean?

Axe: Aaand she looks so trustworthy, just like the girl next door [sigh].

Soros: Girl next door?! She looks like the result of an unsavory liason between the Pilsbury Dough Boy and a jar of Ragu!

Zeke: What about Mrs. Butterworth, Rahm? Did she answer any of our e mails yet?

Rahm: No. And she would make a good one. Black. Wise older woman-type. A bit too old fashioned and a trifle syrupy, but, put her in a polyester pantsuit and get her to talk like a Dixie Chick and she's IN.

Axe: Say.... ya know, I think maybe Mrs. Butterworth doesn't HAVE e mail. Probably doesn't even have a phone. I'll try writing her a letter..... if I can just remember how to write....

Ayers: I'll handle that for you, Axe. I do all of Barry's stuff. Oh, and about Biden, he can be bought. Lifetime supply of paint thinner and he'll "resign."

Soros [abruptly shoves back chair, stands up, puts audio player into pocket]: I don't care if it's Mrs. Butterworth, or Shamwow, or Shamu the Whale. Get someone with an IQ at least a FEW notches higher than a halibut OR I AM GONE. [Turns on heel, opens door, leaves.]

In silence that follows, the muffled voice of Barack Hussein can be heard above them, "Haw, haw, haw.... oh, maaaaaaaaan. Not-aGAIN. Into the gutter. Like Special Olympics....... Hey! I'm SPECIAL, everybody -- just watch me."

Had to link you up again, TOTUS, to celebrate Barack's renewed effort to reach America with his teleprompted speech to the the sixth graders. Is there hazard from spitball barrages on these road trips to the primary schools?

Tom Friedman on Imus In The Morning, advises his Golfing Buddy – President Obama, to ignore the Tea Party Movement, and the Populism spreading across the country. Tom Friedman "Confused with a chance of Goulash"

Sure did, it bein' Christmas Day an' all. Yeah, that was right neighborly of ol' Peach and crew to cut the guy some slack, real nice way to celebrate the birth of the most beloved Jew who was ever born -- go easy on a member of the tribe that wants to annihilate his people. :D

********************************

Hey, Shovel, I'm with you -- I WILL NOT TWIT. Hey, BTW, you're not "Jay" from Delaware who called in to speak on the air with Mark Steyn on "The Rush L. Show" today, are you? He explained about Frank Costanza of "Seinfeld" == "Do the opposite of what you want to do and you'll be alright." (or something like that)

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PT><TP Hey. Have a nice day.

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Hi, Karl. Good idea. You sure won't see much of TOTUS by visiting his blog. Sigh.

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[pharmer] "spitball barrages" LOL. I hope they bombard him with lots of questions like..... "What's the capitol of the United States?" aaaaaand..... "How many states in the union?" aaaaaaaaaaaand....... "Why do you like to catch flies with your bare hands?"

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Kang, were you trying to say, "God and 1 are a majority" when your English failed you? Hang in there, ESL friend. Many of the FOTs ancestors were in the same spot as you 150 years ago. The Swedes did it -- so can you!

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Betty Ann, you have voiced the deep fears of us all. Ugh! "It's the Chicago Way" has a more ironic clang to it every day.

How's the bike?

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Hi, Keyboard! Ha, ha, ha, Friedman probably also advises Dope to "aim for the water trap -- that way, you'll likely end up on the green."

[Help, PT -- fix that golfing analogy, okay? As you very well know, I do not golf.]

Hey, TWW. It is too cold for motorcycles where I live. There is ice, but also on days above 32, much gluey red mud. So, the bike sits in the shed covered by a blanket, where I occasionally go out to start her, let her run for awhile and listen to the engine rumble, and wish for spring.

Good to know Little Red (or whatever term of endearment you use -- I'll just bet you have SOME name for that pretty bike) is snug and dry and well cared for.

It's weird, but machines can become "creatures" for which (whom!) I can feel a lot. Our old, reliable, 1986 Chevy Suburban isn't just a vehicle, he's "Big Red." When my husband mutters something about selling the old guy, I'm indignant. "We are not selling our friend. He's gotten us up and down snowy, icy, mountain roads, he's waited patiently for us while we went on hikes, he's taken us to Grandma's house and back. He's part of the family."

When we finally took "Brownie" (a 1960 Chevy Apache pick-up) to the junkyard, it was with heavy hearts and many a backward glance as we drove out through the entrance and left him there. (We did save his "soul," though, heh, heh. We kept one of his turn signal lights. It's out in the barn.

Well, you, I am certain from your writing, understand. I could go on and on.

Anthropomorphism is really not all that strange. We are, after all, created in the image of One who loves us deeply. If we feel similarly for animals and machines, I think that shows what we're made of.

TWW:OMG, Brownie! Anthromo..pfism..ism. I'm glad they have a word for what happens between humans and well loved and depended upon machines. Because those of us who have had the priveldge of acknowledging their life, are few.

...she wants to go fast. Sometimes, I feel like she's leaving me behind, and laughing about it...and the handles are out of my grip and the cold wind is cruel on my thighs, and I wish I had a better hat...

It's a fast red machine but I just call her "Her" right now.

And you are more right about it all than you realize. Particularly with the motorcycle.

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