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People being comfortable masturbating in a partner’s presence would solve so many conflicts arising from mismatched libidos (even if the mismatch happens only rarely) or differences in ease of orgasm, but people tend to avoid it because they’re either uncomfortable with being that vulnerable or overly attached to the narrative that “sex is PIV and both people climax simultaneously and then it’s over”. People shouldn’t be threatened by a partner’s ability to give themselves pleasure.

How about just making out. I love kissing my wife I could do it for hours. It’s awesome during sex. Before it after it. When drunk or sober. Nothing keeps both parties in the mood faster than a great kiss.