Friday, June 06, 2008

Aged, venerable senior citizens of Jayanagar 8th block, Bangalore city, have gone on an indefinite strike against the fuel price hike announced by the government yesterday. The decision was taken at a Senior Citizens' Welfare Organisation(SCWO) meet organised at Bangalore's KrishnaRao park, after the government decided to up petrol and diesel prices. The meet had actually been scheduled for last Monday, but most members could get here only yesterday.

The raise in petrol prices by Rs. 5 a litre and diesel prices by Rs. 3 a litre has dealt a severe blow to the common man, opined senior Senior citizen KrishRao, who has existed since the days of the Raj. Rao, 88, standing up at a rate that would have alarmed most infants, condemned unilaterally the sudden and substantial increase and demanded that the government do a thorough review of this move. He was subsequently warmly applauded by his peers as he sat down all by himself.

Veteran and former employee of the AG's office A.S.RamaRao joined hands with KrishRao in berating the government. The government has let down the people, he said, and it must step down since it has lost all moral authority to rule. RamaRao then walked slowly to a nearby branch of the State Bank of Mysore to yell at the rude tellers and exclaim "Clarks! Clarks! I want some fussdivision clarks. Where are the clarks? In my thirtyfive years of association with the banking industry, this is the worsssst bank I have ever seen."

"Worst, I tell you" he added, after finally letting go of KrishRao's hands, which he had held in the previous paragraph. Both the Raos also reminisced at this juncture about how Rs. 5 was their first salary when they joined their first jobs and Rs. 3 was a grand increment and relapsed into a lengthy silence, accompanied by a lot of staring into the distance.

The protest came as some surprise to the government, who wondered what the ulterior motives of the geriatrics were. Congress spokesperson Abhishek Singhvi reacted with caution when questioned about the event. We are observing the situation carefully, he said. When it starts getting out of hand, we will hose them down and lob tear gas shells at them and run away, he warned. The government's stand on this issue is one of guarded optimism, he added, mystifying everybody present at this totally unnecessary press conference.

The senior citizens are also now planning a hunger strike beginning tomorrow, as a strong symbolic gesture. Sceptics say this will affect nothing, since they eat so less anyway. Undaunted, however, KrishRao and RamaRao have urged fellow senior citizens to join them in this protest. 'I have given up my breakfast of one idli, as KrishRao has given up his customary morning meal of two grapes,' said RamaRao. 'We urge our quaint brothers and sisters to support us and give up their paltry meals as well. Rice is also very expensive nowadays. In our days, we used to get four hundred kilos of rice for just two rupees. Now, everything is costly.' KrishRao and RamaRao have telephoned their sons in New York and Chicago respectively about this strike, and their children have wished them well, but asked not to be disturbed as they were in meetings. One friend of KrishRao's, Govindsamy, is reported to be alive, pleasantly surprising Rao, and is said to have informed Rao that he has just started from his home in Basavanagudi and would be arriving next week. Both the Raos here are thrilled with the news and have shed copious tears of joy, which they have started to shed at any sort of news nowadays.

KrishRao and RamaRao have been contacted by Rajkumar Hirani to be cast in roles where they can easily be insulted or disrespected by younger characters in his next film, so that audiences can be emotionally manipulated into tears.