I had a dream this morning that my dad had died while I was at work. I didn’t live in New York…I’m not sure where I lived. Somewhere smaller. And I was a teacher. Someone called me at work to tell me that my dad had died. For whatever reason it wasn’t my mom, which made me mad at her for not telling me, understandably. I was so upset at the thought that I would never get to talk to him again, never ask his advice or hear how he would do something. I rushed home and when I got there, he wasn’t there, but I called his cell phone to see where he was. He actually answered and told me he had died. I started crying and told him how upset I was. He told me that Aunt Kay was having a really hard time with it too. I just remember being on the phone, listening to him talking and never wanting to hang up. When we hung up I woke up and was crying. I can’t imagine life without being able to call my dad. It still really bothers me every time I think about it; I got all teary on the walk to work.

But I feel like I have nothing to say lately. Nothing interesting has happened. I still in New York, which still keeps me angry most of the time. I’m working far too much. I’m ready for a new account. I’m going to Vegas with tbf and his parents on Monday…which I’m still not excited about, but I swear I’m trying. What else…I’m a knitting fiend lately. And I really think that’s about it.

I am so incredibly frustrated right now. I am in Michigan visiting my family in the town I grew up in. A few weeks ago I was talking to my cousin I never get to see and I was telling her she should tell grandma she wants to come too and is trying to figure it out…and grandma will buy the ticket. So I guess she did and not only did grandma buy her a ticket, she also bought one for her brother and her mom. Now, you have to understand that my uncle, who is my dad’s brother, died when I was in junior hight. Understandably, because of this we are not as close to them as we probably would be, so grandma and grandpa do everything they can to try and keep them close. The problem with this is that my aunt abuses it. She knows that they will do anything to be near those kids and she completely takes advantage of the situation.

They came in tonight and forced mom and dad out of the bed they have been staying in for a week, which cuased a whole bed situation. Then all of the sudden grandma and grandpa had rented a camper and stuck it in the driveway and were insisting that they would sleep out there and that my parents should take their bed. Mom said there was no way they were sleeping out there and that they would take the pull out couch bed, which in turn uprooted me to the camper. Then they were all planning on my 2 younger cousins sleeping out in the camper with me. Well, my cousin who is 16 got here, looked inside and swore there was no way she was “sleeping out there.” Then grandma, who doesn’t listen said, “well, someone has to be out there with the kids.” Wait…am I not a 25 year old adult with my own job, my own apartment, and a grown up life?

I’m incredibly frustrated with the situation right now as my aunt and cousin are in my parent’s room and have not seemed to notice, mind or care that they have disrupted everyone’s arrangements here. They have also neglected to mind that there are people who have been here for a week who were previously sleeping there. It always happens that they come here and are spoiled. They don’t consider other people and only want what makes them happy. Well, sleeping in the damn camper when it’s 54 degrees outside doesn’t make me happy, but I’ll do it. People don’t seem to know how to sacrifice…or even be considerate and it really just irritates me to the core. I hope that tonight does not set the tone for the entire weekend. If that’s the case, I might just almost wish I hadn’t taken the time off of work.

Update: My cousin who was sleeping in the camper just came inside. Now the only ones out there are my grandparents and myself. Something seems wrong about that to me. How did my 70 year old grandparents end up in the dang camper?!?!?

And one other thing. Allowing this kind of behavior and this situation does not bring back my Uncle. They should not be allowed no discipline because my uncle died over10 years ago. I suppose I express sadness as anger.