From mud huts, umqomboti and straightback to penthouses, expensive weaves and moet!

YES 169

Why is it as individuals we believe we know what’s best for others more than they know what’s best for themselves? No

one is immune to it, we judge people on the decisions they make because we believe that had we been put in a similar position our decisions would be fundamentally different and ultimately better. No one wants to be called judgmental but we all are from the mightiest Christian to the lowest considers person. We are even taught to judge by means of our income on which level of society one belongs to and it is with this powerful knowledge I considered my sister’s husband as even lower than that white stuff that comes out when you step on a cockroach! This guy disgusted me and for him to have the nerve to firstly come to my mother’s house after we had done to her and now here shows me that he had judged my family as fools.

“You can’t seriously be thinking of going with this guy! Have you lost your mind?”

I said to her after she stood there staring at him. I know my sister; she was flattered that he was there. She is those girls who grew up watching American romantic movies where a man comes to beg for love back no matter how badly he messed up.

“He had to find himself first before he could love you!”

Is the advice those shit movies will give you. I remember one Tyler Perry movie had a similar storyline and I know how much my sister loves that man.

“I am not. What happened to your little girlfriend?”

She asked him.

“I left her and that’s the truth. It was a mid life crisis that was about to cost me the love of my life because I was so stupid!”

He said and guess what, this actor had tears coming out of his eyes and I mean real tears too.

“You never loved me. You used me as a punching bag! Every time you got angry, annoyed, disappointed, broke you name it I was the one you came and took it out on!”

She reminded him. Yes that’s what he needed to be told but again the tone in which she had said was not the closure get the fuck out of here tone but I am hurting fix this and you will be forgiven tone! Sigh!

“I know and I know I am hard to trust now but here is what I guarantee you, if you marry me again I am willing to sign a prenup which says if I ever hit you again you can divorce me and take everything we have!”

He told her. There are people who know how to day the right things at the right time and whatever way you look at it, her ex husband sounded right!

“I messed up. You sister hates me and rightfully so. I know if I come back into your life I will still be hated by everyone you love but I am willing to do whatever it takes to win them back too!”

He said looking at her and me at the same time. I think he was trying to evoke a response but I did not say anything.

“Lungi I am sorry for everything I did to your family. I was wrong and I…”

He started to speak to me. The nerve!

“Save it for someone who cares!”

I said and I left the room to go to my room. When I got to my door I turned around and said,

“I want him gone when I come out or you can speak to him in the parking lot!”

I told her like she was my guest to start with. I knew however she would not want to go into the lot for the risk of being seen by Mbuso. That one was a no for her that’s a fact.

“Why did you have to be mean to him like that Lungi?”

She asked me when she came in.

“Mean to whom? Do you mean the man who used to beat you like a slave? That man? Are you talking about the man who came with a 16 year old to our mother’s funeral? Are you sure you want the answers to those questions?”

I asked her without even looking up at her the way I was disappointed.

“But Lungi don’t you know how to forgive?”

She asked me.

“He just wants a second chance and no I did not say yes to him but…”

I stopped her there.

“But what? Because he now has money which you don’t even know whether it’s true or not you are willing to forgive him?”

I asked her. She wanted to respond but words deserted her at that moment meaning I got to speak again,

“Is money that important to you that you willing to sell yourself to such a devil?”

I asked her. She was stuck on what to say? I was not going to help her with what to say either. She simply turned on her heel and left. I was not going to stop her from making this bad decision but I was not going to support it either.

I needed to make an appointment with a financial advisor before I made a hasty decision. A lot of people when they get a lot of money they think they know how to use it but truth is, if you have never had a lot of money you probably don’t. As I was making those plans my phone rang and it was Miriam calling.

“I was just thinking of you hey. I am coming to see you today is that ok?”

I told her and she was very excited when she said,

“Yes its cool! I have news and I was going to call you later just got busy! Can you come now?”

She asked me. Miriam was one of those people who wear their hearts on their sleeve. When she was happy she could never hide it.

“Ok cool then am on my way!”

I told her. She had already managed to lift up my gloom from my aunt to my sister. About 45 minutes later I was driving into her driveway and that beautiful house again. I was already smiling.

“You had me driving like a crazy person!”

I told her when she came to get me from outside.

“No never, you are the calmest person I know. Leave the crazy bit for some of us!”

She said to me and we both laughed. I did not want to think about serious things I just wanted to be happy.

“So what’s this great news that you felt couldn’t wait?”

I asked her as soon as I put my bag down. She had created good anticipation so now for the delivery of it.

“Its not great news per se but I found us a supplier!”

She told me with a huge ass grin on her face.

“A supplier? I am lost? A supplier for?”

I asked her.

“For the hair Lungi. You need to keep up. Remember last time we spoke about the hair business our problem was on how we would find a supplier who will allow us to be competitive?”

She asked me.

“Yes I do remember! Where did you get the supplier?”

I asked her.

“I have a friend who has a cousin from KZN who sells hair online. She already has a bit of social media presence but does not have capital. I was thinking that we could just buy her out of her business!”

She said sitting down pouring me some wine even though I had not asked for it.

“Whoa buy her business. Miriam we don’t even know the business yet and if she has failed to grow her business it means that it’s not profitable!”

I told her. She looked at me like I was not normal in the question I had asked. See why I say people need sound financial advice. When you buy a second hand car often you have to find out why the car is being sold otherwise you will inherit problems.

“How can it not be profitable? We saw that place we went to come on Lungi here is our chance!”

She said trying to cajole me into seeing things her way.

“Let’s go to Durban right now!”

She suddenly said.

“Are you serious?”

I asked her. She was looking at me with such anticipation and a naughty sparkle in her eye.

“Yes I am. I will pay for your flight if you don’t have the money and besides after that crazy chased us you could do with a break.”

She explained.

“Yes I could but do with a break and I can pay for my own flight but do you really want to go to Durban like right now?”

I asked her. This was moving too fast.

“So we can see the girl and hear what she has to say. I have spoken to her on the phone but if we are serious investors we must speak to her face to face!”

She told me.

“What’s the use of having money if you are not going to be spontaneous with it? I believe that all rich business people chase the deals and always have a traveling bag packed for emergencies!””

She asked me and I was still not convinced.

“We want to sell hair Miriam come on we can hardly be called successful!”

I reminded her. She was already seeing us in the headlines.

“Remember how we grew up, there were so many things we wanted and now we can have them but what really have you done since you started working that was spontaneous?”

She asked and this time I was sold. I had just gotten all this money and there is not one thing I had done with it so far.

“You know what? You are right, let’s do this!”

I told her. Next thing we were online looking for tickets and in a space of three hours we were at the airport but guess what, she had not even called her husband. In fact he called her asking if they should do a date night.

“Yes dear I am at the airport. Please don’t be mad but hear me out…”

She said standing up. We had already checked in mind you so we were on that other side. Is there even a way out once you have? She paced around talking to him then came towards me.

“Bongani it’s a business trip come on, I am with Lungi you can speak to her if you think I am lying. We have an opportunity and I don’t want to mess it up baby please!”

Miriam was pleading with her husband who was not impressed at all by her spontaneity.

“Here, he wants to speak to you!”

She said thrusting the phone onto my ear before I could even say anything.

“Bongani hi!”

I said feeling guilty as hell,

“She spoke you into it didn’t she?”

He said to me. I wanted to lie but some people know their partners too well it was hard to even say it,

“Yes she did but she has a point. If we want this business to succeed we have to be proactive!”

I told him.

“Please take care of my wife for me!”

He said to me. That’s all he said. I think he wanted to make sure that she was really with me. I gave him my reassurance and gave her the phone. They spoke a bit longer then she hung up.

“Dude you know there is one thing we forgot, accommodation! The car we can book at the airport when we arrive!”

I told her.

“Don’t worry accommodation is already covered!”

She told me cheerfully.

“I don’t understand? When did you do it?”

I asked her but our flight called for boarding so she never answered me and it slipped my mind.

There was a man waiting for us at arrivals and he looked very familiar. I could not place him.

“Lungi you remember Jerry…”

She said as she politely hugged him.

“You are familiar but I can’t place you!”

I told him honestly.

Why lie?

“At the bachelorette party…”

She said awkwardly then it clicked! Miriam is such a liar! We were going to sleep at the house of the guy who she had cheated on her fiancé with the night before the wedding.

“Oh yes I remember! Sorry I am bad with names!”

I told him.

“Its ok and this is my friend Khaya!”

He said and an Lvovo look alike dude came to greet me.

“He is going to be with us!”

He said and I saw right through it, two Joburg girls and two Durban men (it’s usually the other way round of course) but who is checking.

I was dating my boyfriend for 7 years then when I got pregnant he dumped me and accused me of cheating. It was the most difficult time in my life but I managed to survive it. He did not come see his child for three years and I took him to maintenance court. He was diagnosed with a terminal cancer when our child was 3 years old. He then asked to see his child because he was dying. It was hard for me considering how he had treated us but I agreed. He passed away with only six months of knowing his child. He had a will and life insurance in which he named my child as the beneficiary now his family is fighting me. They took the matter to court even but lost. The problem is that now my family is against me taking the money. It’s not my money it’s my child’s. My family raised my child and defying them is very hard but this is for the sake of my child. My mother is the main problem and she is convinced that they will bewitch us if we take the money. I grew up around such beliefs and to a certain extent I believe in them. What do I do because I do not want to deny my child a good education especially because of superstitions?

Bisho, take that money and lock it up in a trust fund for your child and keep quiet about it. If your family asks you can just tell them you did not touch the money. I mean the child was left for the child aker so lock it up for the child.

Take the money, put it in the trust. Don’t tell you mother! When your child is 18 or 21 they will decide what they wantg to do with it. As you said, not your money so don’t take it and be the #R14m student.

Bisho. Noone will bewitch you and if they bewitch yu you can use the money for the best inyanga. Secure a future for your child. her dad left her the money. Your beiefs are clouding your better judgement. I wish I can speak to you face to face so I can drum it into your head to take the money.

QA Bisho please do what it’s best for your child it was a death wish of your ex boyfriend don’t define it, all you can do take any one from the family of your ex-boyfriend and go open a trust fund for your child as a witness to it so that they will let it go, but black people with inheritance if you’re not on the will just let it go.

Mike you are awesome like it’s so refreshing to have an inside story of what a calling is all about. Thank you for teaching us and opening our eyes to African culture. O skhokho!!! O butternut ya Sunday 7 colours!!!! O jaaaarrrrrr!!!! O yhaaaaaasssss!!!!!! O Talented!!!!

I agree with the trust fund. Take the money. Put it in a trustfund, buy a property in a prime surburb under the trust fund and rent it out. Remember property grows in value over time. Use the rent money t pay for insurance and utilities, then the profit use to pay for your child’s needs right now. Don’t tell your superstitious mom and your family. Invest that money for your child’s future.

Dankie bradaman Mikie. Lungi needs to chill
@Bisho, I believe in keeping the piece & bringing families together. Not sure howm much the money is but call the father’s family to meet yoz & strategise fair deal.
I wud say go 50/50 or 40/60 in the child’s trust’s favor. Show that ubuntu is more important than money itself.
The father did a desperate & last minute decision under his difficult conditions. Hence his family think he made a mistake.
Like someone said, U don’t want to deny yo child a future with his father’s family. Sometimes money is not everything.

This family has already showed you their greed. I doubt you can buy a relationship with them by sharing the money. They should be proud of what their son did instead they looking out for number one. Where were they all this 3 years? Probably keeping a child from his father. How long are u gonna keep compromising? Skaba hemisa skaba forgiva.