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There is a Solution

In Porn Anonymous we know countless people who had lost all hope but found the solution to their porn addiction problem, recovered and are sober today.

Members of PA come from all kinds of backgrounds and all walks of life. Some of us are younger, some older. Some are married, others single. Some are religious and some aren’t. But, we all face the same problem, and we are all working the same program as a solution to our common problem.

We may not agree on everything, but when it comes to working the program, we don’t mix in any external issues – not politics, not religion. Our program doesn’t interfere with anyone’s private life, faith, or values. We join together only because we have a common problem and we share a common solution. This is the only issue that concerns us as a fellowship.

When porn started to interfere with our lives, and we realized we had lost control, we tried many different ways to stop. We promised many times that “this will be the last time.” Some of us even smashed our smartphones, in the hope that this desperate act would free us from the obsession. But nothing helped, and we kept going back to porn, despite all the pain that accompanied it.

PA wasn’t the first stop for any of us. We came here after repeated efforts to stop by ourselves or even with the help of others.

Some of us turned to professional therapists for help before coming to PA, but therapy alone seemed ineffective for many of us who tried it. Even professionals in the field of addiction admitted to low success rates in treating our condition.

Some of us who lead a religious lifestyle tried the “traditional” religious solutions like prayer and repentance. Some also took the courageous step of confessing their problem and asking for advice from their religious leaders or mentors. They may have received in response words of support and encouragement, but nothing close to a real solution to their problem.

Another common experience many of us in PA share is the confusion about our condition. This confusion was often caused by the relatively long periods of “remission” we may have had between our heavy porn use, periods when we felt like maybe we had somehow been freed. This breaks came either after a particularly extreme binge or after getting caught or discovered by someone. We felt like we hit a real low point, we made a steadfast promise to ourselves, and we succeeded in abstaining for several days or weeks. We might have even felt for a while as if we’d beaten the temptation for porn altogether.

For all of us, however, all these periods ended with another fall and a return to compulsive porn use, leaving us confused. We were confused about our problem and about ourselves. We wondered how we lost control again after we thought the problem was behind us. We asked ourselves who we really are – the one who wants the porn or the one who wants to quit the porn.

We can all identify with those failed attempts to stop, and with the frustration and pain that comes with it. It is precisely at those moments of despair that we have the best chance of finding the solution that our program offers.

Unlike people who have never been in our position, a new member will never hear from us words like “Just Say No”, or “Just Quit It”, as if it depended on him alone to stop.

We would also never say to a fellow PA member: “What’s the big deal with a little porn to relax or let off steam?” All of us have experienced the pain of compulsive porn use and we know what it feels like to lose control. That would be like asking an alcoholic “What’s the problem with a little drink to make you feel good?”

We all tried many times to stop, but finally, when we hit rock-bottom or when we really understood the nature of our addiction, we came to Porn Anonymous to find a solution that helped so many others who are like us.