Friday, January 26, 2007

I'll be honest. I haven't had the world's best attitude about work lately. It was bound to happen. I haven't been thinking evil thoughts or wishing death upon my patients, but I can't say I've been real happy about going to work. People are....(sigh)....inconsiderate, rude, mean, ungrateful, needy. Don't get me wrong--I like being needed--most nurses do. We thrive helping people.

So what's the deal? I want to help people, but there's a limit to my help?? That doesn't make much sense-as a nurse or a Christian who proclaims to love people and be a servant. Bingo. There's my problem.

While eating lunch with a friend the other day, I shared some of my recent sentiments regarding work. This was after I told her I wanted to move to Africa to be a missionary. (Yes, you can go ahead and smirk at my inconsistencies.) She shared a real pearl with me. She said, "You know, love is painful." And it hit me.

Love is painful. Yes, that is right. It fits right in there with "love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs..... It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails" (1Corinthians 13:4-8)

If I am truly going to love people-be they friend or enemy-it is going to be painful. If I love and expect nothing in return, it is going to hurt. I am called to love, to pour out all that I am until I have no more and expect to never be filled back up again by the words or actions of humans.....So bring on the pain.

That's all I've got pictures of. More stuff: surprising the family with a visit, hanging out with friends, going to church, repairing my car, starting classes, cooking, and working. But mostly praying and researching about some future opportunities and decisions. That's life in a nutshell for me.

Some things I've learned recently:-how to knit-people in handcuffs can still spit on you-friends can offer priceless words of encoouragement-friends can also offer priceless words of wisdom-what a -30 degree windchill feels like-that I'm pretty well acclimated to MN-just because it's not your fault doesn't mean you don't get yelled at-I really do like kids-I don't really want to work in an American hospital much longer-I've got a lot to learn about loving people (see next blog)