This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

Overheard at the MacDonalds … take one

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Every once in a while, we have an incredibly stupid or inane conversation in our household. Actually, scratch that. It’s a little more often than every once in a while. I have decided to OCCASIONALLY share snippets of these conversations with you. I know they’re not my typical posts but i enjoy them and, as I’ve explained before, this IS my blog. So today, I introduce “OVERHEARD at the MacDonalds”.

Keely, who is now 21, used to keep a Live Journal account when she was in her early teens. She would record all the events going on in her life for her friends. Many of them were the daily conversations and musings of a typical 13 year old but she also recorded some conversations that took place during family occasions. When she quit using her account some years later, I printed the entire thing off for her to keep so she could look at it when she was older.

Many of the entries are hilarious and I went through them a few years ago to use some of them for her senior page for her high school year book. Although this is a somewhat random post, I’d like to share some of these “snippets” with you. The first one is a conversation that took place when I was at my older brother Brad’s house for a family dinner. The conversation takes place between my younger brother Bruce, Keely and myself. I’ve already written my malapropism entry so I suppose this conversation is just typical in regards to that. So without further ado, the conversation as recorded by Keely:

Tonight we went over to my Uncle Brads house for a family dinner. Here’s the conversation:

Mom: “Keely, I hate to tell you this, but your Uncle Bruce … is a moron.”

Me: “Really?”

Mom: “Yeah, I mean, he can’t even eat and chew gum at the same time!”

Long silence

Me: “I can’t do that”

Uncle Bruce: “Actually, I don’t think anybody can do that Lynn…”

Mom: “Oh Wait! I meant to say “walk” and chew gum at the same time. Can you imagine trying to eat and chew gum at the same time?”

Obviously, I’m a moron and can’t even put my own little brother down effectively. It’s so funny to look through all Keely’s entries and find the funniest little conversations.

Here’s another little parenting gem by me as recorded by Keely:

So, today was pretty boring. A lot of studying, especially for a physics test. Listen to this conversation between me and my mom:

Mom: “What’s your physics test on?”

Me: “Force and motion”

Mom: “Can I ask you a question?”

Me: “Sure, go for it”

Mom: “If I tell you to unload the diswahser, and you don’t want to, but I make you, is that an example of force?”

Me: “uhhh, yeah, I guess …”

I thought it was funny at least…

Note to reader: just another fine example of parenting. There’s soooo many.

So is it weird that I actually DID eat and chew gum? I’d store it under my tongue – because the thought of taking it out and sticking it somewhere seemed gross to me – and it still had at least 2-3 more hours of chewing left.
LOL

Well, I’m obviously a moron too, because I read the gum/food thing and thought, “I can’t do that either”! Like DUH, probably not many can, except Lady Estrogen, there! Now, I’m gonna have to try it, just to see IF I CAN!