American Bucolic.

I’ve been thinking recently about what this move to the farm is supposed to represent. Am I supposed to become an expert in farming? A farmer, if you will. Should I learn the intricacies of canning and preserving foods? A grandma, if you will. Or just maybe, should I buy an old Volkswagen and love my llamas more than my children? Not far off, if you will.

I know this may sound completely wading pool, but I may be here to bring gloriousness to the country. I can decorate a fabulous house with incredible skill, style, and sass. I can cook with ingredients that were only minutes ago connected to some vine or hidden underground. I can let my dogs run, eat deer poop, and live the lives of their forefathers. I can build a barn and get alpaca and mini-horses and heritage breeds that will have babies and be treated like royalty. I can watch TLC while writing for my blog.

While I have taken to wearing my faux crocs and dumpy shorts around town – to the Meijers and the Home Depot, I don’t think I’ll ever be “country.” (Although, I have considered buying a pack of white T-shirts and just wearing them as a uniform every day!) That may sound condescending, but it’s not meant that way. I’ve always drank Pinot Grigio out of a box. I’ve always loved Kraft Cheese and Macaroni. And I will always love watching reality t.v.

With all these gays moving to the country, I feel a little cheap. Like a lemming and not that goose at the head of the “V”. But I will be at the head! By doing what? I’m unsure. But it will happen. I’ve worked in The White House for goodness sake! (P.S. see Don rolling his eyes!) I’m resourceful! I have skills! If spending money and gathering degrees were a profession, I’d be CEO!

Well, enough already! I’m just sitting here alone with a sleeping puppy for the moment…and I do me for the moment! (As an aside, I gave the puppy kisses today and quickly realized he had just eaten his own poo! A vet visit it in order!) He will be up in a few minutes with his shark teeth and syringe-like nails. Stay posted as my relationship with the farm develops. We’re just getting to know each other right now. We’ve made it to first-base. But we have three more to go!