Almost 18 and pregnant

Kailyn - posted on 07/19/2015
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Hi, I was hoping to receive some insight on my current situation my boyfriend and I have been dating for three years and I just recently found out I was pregnant. I have no idea how to bring it up to my parents. I was supposed to be their star child (middle of two boys) they have extremely high expectations but I have no idea how to tell them they don't even let me go to the mall with friends so no doubt they are going to be infuriated my boyfriends parents and family know and are completely supportive of it I turn 18 in three weeks and don't know if I should tell them now or then I'm at least a month and a half along I just don't want to be stuck in the house with their negativity I plan to move out when I turn 18 and don't know if it's better to save it for then

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Dove - posted on 07/19/2015

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Are your parents aware that you plan to move out when you turn 18 and are they accepting of this?

How you handle this I suppose would depend on your relationship w/ them and how solid of a plan you have that you can present to them (like where you are living... how the two of you are going to be supporting yourselves and your child). If you think they will handle it well (doesn't sound like you think that) you can go ahead and tell them now. If you don't think they will, then perhaps you may want to wait until you move out and perhaps have them over for dinner shortly afterwards and tell them at that time.

I don't know if anything I've said is of any help, but congratulations and good luck!!

Each situation is different but I was in a very similar one three years ago. My boyfriends parents knew before my own as well and I wanted to hide it because they expected me to go off to a four year university the year after. However my boyfriends parents dropped me off one day and they bluntly told my mom that I was pregnant. They were upset and it's the first time I saw my father and mother cry the way they did but their support was unconditional. The boyfriend I had dated for three years suddenly wanted freedom and while his family seemed so supportive at first they quickly turned their backs on me and my son when their own daughter became pregnant. They wanted their son to stay in school and so when I would ask him for money to pay for new clothes (because my little boy was outgrowing the ones he had received from family and friends) he denied me any help. His mother wanted him to use the money to pay for his textbooks and told him that I could go to work myself. The point is ANY parent who is strict enough to tell you that you can't go out with friends and sets high expectAtions for you probably cares more about you than you think. I, too, received lots of negativity from them and best believe I am still taking it because I have to acknowledge I did mess up. However, their support and love has been far greater than that and has kept me in school. This way I will have far more to offer my child than anything else. I have entered therapy twice since my son was born to help me sort all my feelings out. Being a young dependant mom is very frustrating but you won't be the best you can be for your baby without unconditional support. And something else speak to them a lot !! Tell them how you feel let them know how their comments are affecting you. Do it again and again and again. It has has helped me. Have a family counselor come in to your home for a visit. Explain that while they think you deserve those comments, your baby is the one that will be affected and it was not his/her fault.