She’s never had an orgasm…

Asked by on 2018-05-8 with 1 answer:

Q: I’m 21 and have been with my fiancee now for four years. We are very open sexually with each other and i feel completely comfortable with him and very much enjoy when we have sex, but no matter what we try, even when i masturbate, I have never achieved orgasm. I feel like i get close, but then it all goes away.

I feel like this is not normal and i am missing out on a very enjoyable part of my life, and i know it bothers him, making him feel like he can’t pleasure me enough. We’ve tried different foreplaying, role-playing…nothing works. I don’t know what to do, but i really don’t want to give up on the chance i could experience something so many other women do.

I’m glad you and your boyfriend enjoy and trust each other so much. I’m sure this problem must be frustrating for both of you. I have a couple of suggestions. First, see an endocrinologist. The problem may not be in technique. It may be in your hormones. The other possibility is that the issue has become such a concern for the two of you that you can’t really relax into it. In that case, it might be helpful to see a couples therapist who specializes in sexual matters for some guidance.

I wish you well. Dr. Marie

She’s never had an orgasm…

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Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). She’s never had an orgasm…. Psych Central.
Retrieved on January 21, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2008/12/28/shes-never-had-an-orgasm/

Last updated: 8 May 2018Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.