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You took the took the big step of meds. I am proud of you and am happy your first night on meds was uneventful. Supposely the first weeks are the most difficult and if you can handle the first weeks without much happening then you have succeeded. Keep us posted and let us know how night 2 went.

I totally agree with you about getting more side-effects on anti-depressents than the meds. I literally was going crazy with the side-effects of anti-depressants and had to end them after 2 weeks. I was expecting the worse from HAART but it turned out to be less uneventful than anti-depressants, go figure.

Well, day 2 and I had zero side effects. I even took them 45 minutes earlier to see if anything would happen before I went to bed. Nothing I could notice, maybe got sleepy a little earlier.

Slept great! So, day 3 is here.

I think the psychological effects were far greater from my own fear. It was interesting to me that the pharmacist pointed out the side effects of Sustiva/Truvada weren't much different from the majority of prescriptions. That pharmacist also gave me her own point of view that the patients that seemed to have problems were on multiple other prescriptions.

You know that prior doctor I fired said she wasn't going to prescribe anything with Sustiva including Atripla because she felt I'd have a lot of side effects. Hmm, well so far she has been wrong on everything and I'm glad I didn't listen to her.

I have to run, but wanted to leave a quick message here. There's a tremendous fear of meds out there. Well, so far I can't personally say I've had anything to report. I haven't even eaten very nutritional food this week. The only thing I didn't do was have anything to drink (alcohol). I figure in a couple weeks I should be completely adjusted and then I'll have a drink or 3 if I like. For now, there hasn't been anything I could complain about.

Glad you are doing well also. I know I turned into a blubbering mess before and now feel slightly embarrassed ; )

Oh girl,Don't feel embarrased. You had a reason to be afraid and overwhelmed. I cried and screamed here and there was one or two folks who called me cry baby but I am a cry baby so they really didn't tell me anything i didn't know. Well girl, you shall do fabulous, just like me.

Now I know why my doctor didn't return my call back with my labs. I am shaking right now because of this. Why did I ever listen to him and believe I could go for years or even months?

Now I HAVE AIDS?

How the fuck could this have happened?

My last test results are below, this info I finally got out of the nurse as the worst wake up call of my life a few minutes ago.

My heart is racing and I am totally freaked out.

MY CD4 is now 139 AIDS?

Hands are shaking as I type this.......... How could this happen in a MONTH?

Right now I need serious help, and I can't understand this. Don't listen to any doctor telling you this crap of years and years.

Wesley

Wesley: Sorry you're going through a rough patch. You're tough enough to publicly admit how scared and angry you are right now.

Two simple points:

1) Let's not make "AIDS" diagnosis vs. an "HIV" diagnosis into a big deal. Let's stick to analyzing the numbers, trends, and percentages. Same virus. I know you understand this intellectually, but somehow this shit gets into our subconscious and plays with our already-elevated fears (I believe our dreams help or hurt us, each and every day).

You many have "gotten worse" and I pray you will get much better, and soon. You (and all poz) may swerve back an forth over the artificial barrier (linguistic and social service policy-driven) between two terms for the same damn disease. The sooner everyone stops using "AIDS" for any stage of HIV the better off we'll be.

2) I do not believe in changing laboratories, at least not to get at the truth.

I once had my blood drawn simultaneously, and sent to two different labs. I was entitled under a study, and when asked to decline the duplicate offer--a little light bulb went on in my head--I thought "This could be interesting". It was way too interesting.

Result: very different numbers from the same blood from the same hour. In fact, that experience is so disturbing, I feel like we could almost pick a lab for the kind of "result" we want. YIKES! This is not to say your test results are false. But it is cautionary about taking these numbers as finite indicators.

Oh girl,Don't feel embarrassed. You had a reason to be afraid and overwhelmed. I cried and screamed here and there was one or two folks who called me cry baby but I am a cry baby so they really didn't tell me anything i didn't know. Well girl, you shall do fabulous, just like me.

Al

LOL AL!

You gotta change that avatar! I thought oh Lord my vision has gone all strange. Well tonite is 4th dose.

I had difficulty sleeping last night which was related to something I had to handle today (not the meds). Anyway, I definitely think Sustiva/Truvada should be taken at night.

I got up cause I was wrestless and wow that Sustiva must have been kicking in high cause I had a woozy dizzy feeling. I was heading downstairs for a smoke to contemplate the stuff I had to do today and I was like why the Hell did I buy a multilevel house? ; ) I didn't feel sick or anything, more like I was in a fun house walking down those stairs. Like I had some inner ear issue ; ) Little strange, but not scary or sick like.

In fact, I've noticed after I handled my stress ordeal today that I was feeling pretty damn good. I decided to pamper myself and went out and took care of me today.

So tonite is nite 4 and honestly I don't feel bad. I've haven't been sick at all. So, we'll see, but so far so good.

Here's what I tell myself (corny as it is) OK, pills kill that fucking virus cause in a month I want those numbers undetectable and work your magic! ; )

I anticipate things will continue to improve. Considering my lousy diet and what not it's amazing I have not been sick without HIV. ; )

I'm starting to look at these pills like vitamins. I feel like I'm taking control of my life again. I just could not see going in circles waiting tell I got really sick debating the pros and cons and etc forever on here any longer.

The way I look at it there are over 1 million people in the US with HIV. There are 5000 on here. My guess is the vast majority of people are out living there lives and just taking the meds and that is what I will be doing. I'll come back to update this and of course if anything changes, but I'm happy with my decision.

All you "first timers" will be brave and I'm sure of that! I've been taking meds since 1993 and it's always been like taking a vitamin pill. I can only say that injecting Fuzeon is not fun (but I have to do it twice a day) and my brief experience with Sustiva was no fun either. The nightmares were to vivid and I felt drugged even at work and driving. Crixivan gave me pancreatitis like 6 times but I only quit it when I became resistant. Every other med was well tolerated no matter the amount of pills I'd take. I'm here for you guys for any boosting of bravery, and "longislander", you've met me personally and know I have plenty of braveness to share.

Logged

Catman

Meow to the birdsMeow to the tree'sMeow to the endof this dreadful disease...

Thanks, with regards to the med issue I don't really feel I was brave. I took the most sensible course of action with my best educated guess and got lucky, really lucky.

I feel terrific. Going on day 5 with NOT ONE negative side effect and I'm very thankful for that cause now I will be able to move on with my life. Hell, my fatigue is gone and I don't look any different or feel weird. I feel like all of the horrible effects are diminishing that I was having and I have energy again.

I most definitely have empathy for those who aren't so lucky. But, I now strongly feel that I've made the right choice for myself.

Yes, I'm well aware of some of the potential for long term effects, but I chose to do something and don't regret it. If I develop some liver issue later or God knows what I'll deal with it later. Had my counts not gone haywire I would have likely waited somewhat longer, but all of that horrible anticipation and anxiety for now is gone for the most part.

Each person ultimately has to make their own private decision. I'd encourage everyone to learn as much as possible beforehand, but just know that even if only 1 in 1000 people has some side effect it has to be reported to the FDA and all of the horror stories don't happen to everyone.

be happy we are no longer in the days of 38 pills plus some liquid norvir per day. Numbers go up and numbers go down,sort of like the stock market. I guess after awhile you sorta get immune to it,till they get down to 134,that would scare me too.Many people have no problems on sustiva, I just had vertigo that can I can only describe as very similiar to a one minute lsd trip except I couldnt stand up. I am taking truvada now and having no problems,even though each one of the drugs that make it up have made me very sick and nauseous in the past. Go figure.