Thursday, December 28, 2006

Holiday Musings

The lack of any new posts is due to the fact that I've been in Michigan since December 21st. It's the same everytime I go home - I fall asleep before the plane takes off and wake up when the rubber side hits down, relative (usually parents, but this time it was my older sister and my nephew) picks us up from the airport, we go to eat at IHOP. Everytime. I enjoy it, too. I like knowing there is someone waiting for me at the airport and I like knowing I'll get something to eat when I get there. Is this expected? No, but I know my parents like to pick us up and they know we like IHOP. Hell, my dad drove me to school all through highschool and would pick us up from practice or after basketball/volleyball/softball games as often as he could. He liked it. Fifteen years later and he still enjoys it.

I also got together with a few of the ol' college softball gals. Even though we're getting older, some are getting married, and others are having kids, the memories are still the same and the conversation picks up from where we left off the last time. We still bust each others balls, give each other shit, and think we can drink like we could 10 years ago.. and I know 10 years from now we'll still be giving each other shit, retelling the same ol' stories, and knowing we can't drink like we could 10 years ago.. *sigh* ..but that won't stop us from trying.

I had to get my hair cut, which I only get done at home. It's not that I "had" to as I just had it cut/colored in October, but it's just something I do when I come home. Call it weird, but I don't trust anyone else. Could someone do a better job? Probably, but it's not the same. I like the small town atmosphere, and I like not having to tip someone to wash my hair, someone to dry it, someone to comb it, someone to cut it, and someone to color it. It should cost under $70, which it does. I like the atmosphere, I like that I'm known there, I like that the converation picks up from the last time I was there, and I like that I can say "put it on my mom's tab". Small towns have its perks.

Christmas has been the same since we were kids. I'm not sure when our Christmas Eve dinner tradition started, but after the evening family mass, we have apple fritters and little sausage links (Morningstar links for me) for dinner. Christmas morning, my sisters and I don our Santa hats and pass out the gifts. When everything is unwrapped, we gather around for a family picture. We usually gather around my sleeping father, but occasionally he is awake. The "gathering" part includes us putting on any clothes that we got and holding up as many gifts as we can. The clothes have to be put on over our pajamas, too. This is something we started doing over 20 years ago.

I know one of these years I'll have to rent a car to drive home. I know one of these years IHOP will be closed. I know one of these years fewer and fewer of the softball gals will be able to get together. I know one of these years my sister, nephew, and brother-in-law will spend Christmas with his family only.

I know one of these years I won't be able to make it home for Christmas.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Year in Review

If I had the time, I'd do a best/worst, Top 40 List, or Final Countdown of all the happenings over the year. Hell, even if I had the time I wouldn't do it as what I would put together wouldn't match anything on VH1. So I won't.

A lot has happened over the year and, as I'm sure everyone will say, the year flew by! I remember starting my resolution of trying a pull up and the workouts I did leading up to it. I also remember injuring my shoulders 8 months later playing rugby. I've been back in the gym and seeing great gains with Olympic style moves and attempt a pull up from time to time. I know I'll be able to do one eventually. I'm not going to put a timetable on it.

I'm realizing how much more I want to do. I want to try everything. In 1998 I had the 'rugby seed' planted in me, and this year I finally did something about it. I've been running marathons since 2000, doing triathlons since 2001, and doing ultra runs since 2003. This will have been the first time since 2000 I didn't run a marathon. Feels a little weird. I've thought of trying to do one on my own for the hell of it sometime in the next 10 days or so, but what sense of satisfatction would I get out of that? Most of the times, I'd do one or two a few weeks/months after finishing an Ironman just to say "I did it". This year, I was signed up for Marine Corps Marathon and sold my bib to someone who ran MCM as his first marathon. I got more satisfaction from emailing him and getting updates on his training than I did after my previous 3 MCM finishes.

Earlier this week, I finished up a graduate certificate program that I started last Fall. I'm not a student and I'll admit it was tough to stay focused. I still don't feel like it was enough. I felt like I was doing it to honor a promise I made to a professor who believed I had the potential to continue my education. I know I should go on for a Masters, but I don't know in what field to get it in.

I thought I found love again, but had that rug pulled out from under me. I'm still hurting from the fall and it's been a struggle to get back up.

In July/August, I made the trek up to Montreal to participate in the 1st World Outgames. I had a blast and met a bunch of great people. Recently, I've started to reconnect with two of them and hope to see them sometime next month or this summer. It was an amazing experience and I'm glad I did it. Next Outgames are in 2009 or 2010 in Coopenhagen and I hope to be there and I hope to meet a whole slew of new people.

For the past 5 years, I've known what I wanted to do athletically. Maybe not 100%, but I've had a pretty good idea of what races I wanted to do and I'd do them. I've known since 2005 I wanted to do the 100 miler and I'm doing that in May. I've known since 2005 that I wanted to do IM Lake Placid and I'm doing it in July.

The thing is... after July, I don't know what to do.For once, it's weird to look ahead and not know what I'm doing.

And I love that.

I love having the calendar wide open, and it gets me thinking about what I could be doing.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Since You've Been Gone

It's been a strange past few weeks. I had alluded to needing a break and I did just that. My head has been in the clouds, up my butt, and everywhere but on my on my shoulders/neck and between my ears.

This time of year is always rough for me - the lack of daylight, the time away from family, and the constant evaluation of what I've done this year. I always set high standards for myself so there's always some mild disappointment when I don't reach my goals.

In addition to the above, I'm turning 30 in January. On top of thoughts of "what have I done this year?", I start thinking "what have I done with my life?" I mentioned earlier this year that I'm not a huge resolution person. If you want to make changes, don't wait for a specific date - start now. So I've started.

I'm not all too happy with who I am and what I've become, so I'm making changes. A lot of times if I say I'm going to do something, I'll do it. I knew a few years ago that I'd be doing a 100 mile trail run. It fits into my schedule as planned for 2007 - I'm doing it. However, all too often I say stuff like "that'd be cool to try," or more specifically "one day, I'd like to learn to play guitar", so I'm going to do that. I hold on to too much "junk", so I'm getting rid of it. Not trying to sell it and would give it away if someone wanted any of it. I'm downsizing.

I need SOMETHING in my life. Most of the time I'll wait for it to come to me.