Fug The Cover: Amanda Seyfried on InStyle

In staring at this as long as I have, I think I’m coming down on the “fug” side.

1. The color scheme is chilly enough that I actually just shivered.

2. Her posture and body position do NOT look comfortable, as if she’s being zapped with an electric cattle prod whenever she slides out of position. Her left arm looks like it’s there purely to brace her.

3. She doesn’t look unrecognizable, but Amanda doesn’t entirely look like herself, either. It’s not her most flattering angle. Her face is way more interesting than this mannequin-looking snooty expression.

4. Further, I’m afraid she’s about to smack my palm with a ruler. I don’t want to read about this stern person’s feelings on diets and dating, because I’m worried it will be an etiquette lecture.

5. There are a lot of exclamation marks here. Amanda Seyfried! 2o13! Fun to keep! Cozy at home! This is your year! Exclamation marks used thusly feel like false cheer. Don’t tell me how to feel, Instyle. And definitely don’t worry about being so peppy. You’re like Melissa Joan Hart in Can’t Hardly Wait, dragging the yearbook around to get everyone to sign it, and being incessantly perky about all the rejection until finally she snaps and starts shrieking and crying about how THESE ARE PRECIOUS MEMORIES! I’m scared you’re going to snap, InStyle, and I can’t decide if I want to be there to see it.