Abuse Recovery

Respect is love. If someone doesn’t treat you with dignity and respect, walk away. Their behavior has absolutely nothing to do with your worth as a person. It has everything to do with the values instilled in them by their parents. They’re looking for love just like you are. They just haven’t learned yet what real love looks like because nobody taught them properly.

Most of the stories in this section are about celebrities and famous people who have survived tough times yet gone on to thrive and find joy. This story is about Carole May, the proverbial girl next door. We met at our apartment complex swimming pool. She’s a teacher by profession who spent her career with the Brooklyn diocese in New York City. Here in Washington State, she is the web goddess for David Lanz, a Grammy nominated pianist. To see her award-winning photos, click here.

Real power resides in love rather than fear. This is the power of our inner queen.

We all have the potential inside ourselves to be queens and make a difference. It takes a powerful dream, learning valuable skills, perseverance, patience, and practice. Some of our opponents may not play fair. But, we will win in the end if we play the game according to our own rules.

I think the essential difference between a pawn and a queen is that a queen knows in her heart and soul that she deserve to create her own game of life. She crafts a winning strategy which she artfully adjusts to stay one step ahead of her opponent.

We have to exercise our potential to experience our full power. If we don’t, we will become expendable pawns.

Adversity forces us to become resourceful and to advocate for ourselves. It forces us to discover our potential. We all have it inside ourselves.

SARK is one of us. She experienced physical and sexual abuse at the hands of her brother. She adopted the name SARK which stands for Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy.

Today’s post [May 1, 2009] is in a rainbow of colors because that’s how SARK writes her books. They are a riot of colors in SARK’s scrawling handwriting. She beautifully illustrates all her books in ways guaranteed to make you smile.

Narcissists are actors on the stage of life. Beneath their masks, narcissists are a fraud.

In Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life, Linda Martinez-Lewi rips off the mask to expose the ruthless tyrant hiding behind it. In an age when narcissists are “treated like royalty,” we need solid information and advice on how to recognize and deal with the terminally self-absorbed.

The consistent message in the book is that we are not to blame for our present circumstances. Our issues are a normal response to the abuse we experienced. Yes, the toxic clean-up isn’t any fun, but we can do it. We’re strong, courageous, and resilient. We had to be to survive.

Journey to Joy Day 7: Sir Francis Drake’s Voyage Launched in 1577
We sometimes forget that almost every leap forward in history was accomplished by ordinary people with the courage to do extraordinary things. Some were accidental discoveries. Some were the result of dogged persistence. Some folks got all fired up by injustices or personal tragedies. The common thread, however, is that they were ordinary folks who made history.

Most of us who have experienced prolonged abuse ~ particularly if extreme emotional abuse was involved ~ sometimes feel like we have scrambled eggs for brains. Yet, at the same time, we are literally making life and death decisions.During those dark days, my journal was my greatest tool and, in many respects, my best friend.

What is PTSD? Post-traumatic stress disorder was called “shell shocked” after World War I and “battle fatigue” after World War II. After the Vietnam War, it was further sanitized to “post traumatic stress disorder.” Complex PTSD (C-PTSD) is diagnosed after a person has experienced multiple life-threatening traumas.

Elizabeth Gilbert is the quintessenial role model for leveraging a person’s talents to learn how to survive, thrive, and find joy. When life handed her the lemons of a bitter divorce, she squeezed those lemons into the stratosphere of best-selling books. Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman’s Search for Everything Across Italy, India, and Indonesia was on the best seller lists for over a year. She’s been on Oprah, and Julia Roberts will star in the movie.

In true Pretty Woman tradition, she rescued herself before she met the charming Brazilian “prince” Felipe.

Gospel for Teens’ theme song is “How Could Anyone” by Libby Roderick from Alaska. The lyrics are amazingly powerful:

How could anyone ever tell you
You were anything less than beautiful?
How could anyone ever tell you
You were less than whole?
How could anyone fail to notice
That your loving is a miracle?
How deeply you’re connected to my soul?

Throughout history, oppressed people ~ people who were compelled to survive horrific tyranny ~ found freedom in creative outlets and faith. Read more. . .

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2 responses to “Abuse Recovery”

I can vouch for the “Artists Way” journal, I was using it when I was in the abusive relationship, but not regularly. And unfortunately, it got left behind when we left. We were only able to leave with a few backpacks because I was worried he would come back and find me leaving; there were guns in the house he had threatened me with in front of our son. So I got out as quick as I could. Blogs really help, and I have started my own. I look to others for similar experiences that are helpful. I want to heal and go on with my life, but the legal stuff isn’t finished yet. I hate the wait. I had joined a domestic violence blog one time, but when they asked me to edit my comments about how the system fails us, because they felt it was only my experience and not the norm, well, then I decided not to continue there.

What alternate universe are those folks living in??? If the system is so inordinately successful, why do so many people visit RightsForMothers.com each day??? Gimme a break.

I hear you about the waiting. It seems like glaciers move faster than the system.

I’ll be revamping my site soon so I hope it will be easier for people to navigate. BTW, I’ve added your blog to my survivor blog roll.

I’m wondering if you’d be interested in reading a book about people who have crossed the bridge from domestic violence to thrive and find joy??? I’ve been collecting the stories of celebrities and famous people who have survived abuse. . .because I want to know what they know that I don’t.

Elizabeth Gilbert is the quintessenial role model for leveraging a person's talents to learn how to survive, thrive, and find joy. When life handed her the lemons of a bitter divorce, she squeezed those lemons into the stratosphere of best-selling books. Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India, and Indonesia was on th […]

Physical abuse is no longer just about bruises and broken bones. Emotional abuse is about more than hurt feelings. The long-term health impacts of domestic violence (DV) are being characterized as "epidemic" and a "national scourge" by Robert S. Thompson, MD, because DV affects between 25% and 54% of women in their adult lifetimes, and a […]

The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity: A Course in Discovering and Recovering Your Creative Self by Julia Cameron is a fabulous book and a 12-week fantastic experience. I've done the course twice. At the end of my first course, the other participants created a protection circle for me. It was a life-altering experience to be in th […]