Following what he described in a full-page newspaper ad as a “rough week,” former South Carolina governor and current Congressional candidate Mark Sanford has decided to come forward to explain all of the alleged trespassing incidents at his ex-wife Jenny’s house.

“I appreciate Sen. Sheheen’s interest in trying again, but the way he’s launched his campaign is despicable,” said Haley, speaking with reporters on Wednesday. “The very first line of his email is a blatant lie and he knows it. He said ‘South Carolina is the greatest state in the union, with unlimited potential.’”

Political observers were shocked Thursday morning when they learned that Senator Jim DeMint was resigning his seat, but Governor Nikki Haley has upped the ante by suggesting she might name former Governor Mark Sanford to replace him.

As promised, Mitt Romney released his 2011 tax returns today showing he paid an effective rate of about 14% on his earnings. While the release was met with eye-rolling from the left, conservatives are outraged that the candidate appears to have significantly overpaid his taxes.

Rumors of Mitt Romney’s pilfered tax returns spread around the internet like wildfire this week, with nobody able to conclusively prove that it actually happened, until now. Our network of hackers has provided us with the encrypted file containing Romney’s past ten years of tax returns and we have managed to break the encryption.