Tuesday, September 30, 2008

I Am Highly Specialized: The Right Tool For the Right Job

This is easily one of the most fascinating bikes I've ever seen. Some bicycles make you want to ride them to pieces, others make you want to own them and protect them from harm and scratches, and still others make you want to puke. This one makes me want to puke, sure, but in the way a huge buffet does and not in the way a piece of maggoty roadkill or Larry King does. And like a huge buffet, every time I look at this bicycle I notice something new, and that something doesn't go with anything else on the bike. If you've ever gone to a wedding or something, hit the buffet, and wound up with a heaping and contradictory plate of fried rice, mashed potatoes, a goat cheese omelet from the omelet station, some baked ziti, sweet and sour chicken, French toast, a couple of meatballs, a Caesar salad, and a bowl of Frosted Rice Krispies in chocolate milk for good measure because each item looked good individually but you didn't consider whether any of it would go together, then you know what I'm talking about.

At the same time, this bicycle also evokes one of those performances when a bunch of rock stars of varying ages and degrees of bloat and irrelevance all take the stage to benefit some kind of charity. This bike has everything from the high-tech time trial bar and saddle of today to the bonded frame, 700c road suspension fork, and bladed Spinergy death wheel of yesteryear. It's like Chris Cornell, Dave Navarro, Pete Townshend, Paul McCartney, Korn, a few guys from Dire Straits, and, for no good reason at all, the London Symphony Orchestra all belting out a cover of "Rockin' in the Free World" on some VH1 special to benefit ADD research or something. (And in a case like that, the performance is arguably more harmful than the affliction.)

Most profound, though, is the appearance of both a Spinergy Rev-X and an Aerospoke on the same bicycle. Notice how similar yet how different they are from each-other in their freakishness. In a strange way it's like spotting Stephen Baldwin and Frank Stallone waiting on line together to see the Bacon Brothers play.

And of course the whole thing leans on a kickstand:

This bike is what's beautiful about cycling--it is a unique tool assembled to fulfill a unique need. Personally, I can't imagine a situation that would call for aerodynamics, front suspension, a rear rack, and a triple chainring, but apparently this person finds himself needing to rush places in record time over irregular surfaces while carrying small loads often enough to have built this bicycle. And apparently there's also a pretty big climb somewhere along the way. It's also difficult to imagine what you might wear on a bicycle like this--I'm thinking a skinsuit with a pair of cargo shorts, and I'm also guessing there's a beard and a helmet mirror involved. This bicycle also appeals to me because I happen to have a soft spot for mix-matched brakes. I find using the same style of brake from the same manufacturer front and rear to be boring, and I'm always touched when two completely different brakes come together in a team effort to bring a rider to a stop. With the cantilever front and the dual-pivot rear, this bicycle has the road bike equivalent of a mullet, and I like that.

Clearly, this bicycle is meant to do everything, and it does so with extreme ugliness. It also bucks the current trend towards specialization in the bicycle industry. We've actually reached a point now where categories are so nuanced that the crappy bike with the hi-ten frame is not only back, but it's also becoming a hotly-contested segment. First, there was the SE Draft, which has been a staple in neighborhoods like Williamsburg, Brooklyn for the last year or so now:

The SE Draft comes complete with an American bottom bracket, which is to bottom brackets what American cheese is to cheese. Hey, I don't begrudge anybody their cheap transit, and the supply of Old Crappy Ten Speeds ripe for singlespeed conversion is not going to last forever. (Moeover the prices for them are still artificially inflated.) If you need something cheap to pedal around town and lock to poles the SE Draft seems like it fits the bill quite nicely.

Of course, it was only a matter of time before the people at Dorel Industries realized that they own Schwinn (the OG of Old Crappy Ten Speed makers), and that if people are not only turning Old Crappy Ten Speeds into New Crappy One-Speeds but are also paying good money for Pre-Fabricated New Crappy One-Speeds, then they might as well make their own PFNCOS to complete with the Draft. And so the Cutter was born:

Not only does the Cutter appear to have a threaded bottom bracket shell, but it also comes with a "sticker kit," and it only costs a little more than the Draft. Again, having two inexpensive urban runabouts to choose from is not at all a bad thing, and it's especially good news for anybody sitting on a supply of 1 1/8" threaded headsets and stems, because that's what the Cutter comes with for some reason and those are about as easy to find as 1" threaded suspension forks. Most significantly, though, should Dorel decide to sell this bike at Wal-Mart, the cultural ramifications are obvious. I have no idea if that's part of the plan, but if it is you can also expect to see MASH posters next to the Miley Cyrus posters very soon.

There's no doubt that the Cutter is a bit cookie-cutter, especially when you compare it to that Trek. But no big corporation would ever create something like that. It takes an individual to create a true monstrosity.

156 comments:

Anonymous
said...

Every day I come by your blog and I pick you up. And we go out. We have a few posts, and a few laughs, and it's great. But you know what the best part of my day is? For about ten seconds, from when I pull up to the page and when I hit refresh the 17th time, 'cause I think, maybe I'll get up there and I'll knock on the door and a new post won't be there. No goodbye. No see you later. No nothing. You just left. I don't know much, but I know that.

That Trek is obviously from the future. You can tell because the picture was taken on a hot day in a park, presumably Central Park when the leaves on the trees were still green. Since it is not currently hot in Central Park and the leaves on the trees are no longer a uniform green, this picture was obviously taken at some future point when it will be hot out and the leaves will be green and sent through time into your e-mail in-bin.

No doubt the triple-ring, aerospoked, bullhorn bike (complete with rear rack) will be 2012's version of the current fixie-fad.

i was nervous when i first saw this bike, but when i saw it in the Meadow i was terrified. i can't wait to encounter its diminutive (note the seat height) and doubtless insane pilot coming at me (for he definitely rides the wrong way) during my CP laps some unhappy evening.

a heaping and contradictory plate of fried rice, mashed potatoes, a goat cheese omelet from the omelet station, some baked ziti, sweet and sour chicken, French toast, a couple of meatballs, a Caesar salad, and a bowl of Frosted Rice Krispies in chocolate milk

"Every day I come by your blog and I pick you up. And we go out. We have a few posts, and a few laughs, and it's great. But you know what the best part of my day is? For about ten seconds, from when I pull up to the page and when I hit refresh the 17th time, 'cause I think, maybe I'll get up there and I'll knock on the door and a new post won't be there. No goodbye. No see you later. No nothing. You just left. I don't know much, but I know that."

I can sum up the problem with our Trek. Subconsciously, the human mind equates symmetry with beauty. Many components normally come in matching pairs, i.e. brakes, wheelsets, etc. Everything on this bike is mish-mash. I even looked to see if there was a Look pedal on one crankarm and a Speedplay on the other.Also, I'm not sure how you stop the thing, even if it had matching brakes. The levers are in a position requiring a motion the human wrist physically is not capable of. I suggest that instead, he mount the brake levers directly on his thighs, and just disconnect the cables when he dismounts.

"Personally, I can't imagine a situation that would call for aerodynamics, front suspension, a rear rack, and a triple chainring, but apparently this person finds himself needing to rush places in record time over irregular surfaces while carrying small loads often enough to have built this bicycle. And apparently there's also a pretty big climb somewhere along the way."

I totally know that situation!! It's called "my commute to Michigan Tech." On a good day, some singletrack or other off-road is involved. A 2-mile, 570-ft elevation climb is involved. The descent going through Hancock and buzzing by traffic at 35-40 mph is lots of fun, and it helps to go aero.

It's just crazy. I think THAT bike might just be made for *here*! ESPECIALLY if the fork has lockout. I just ride a cyclocross bike and wear a backpack for commuting.

"It's also difficult to imagine what you might wear on a bicycle like this--I'm thinking a skinsuit with a pair of cargo shorts, and I'm also guessing there's a beard and a helmet mirror involved."

And a watch, and a heart rate monitor, and a blackberry, and a trio, and a walkman, and a discman, and an ipod, and burkenstocks with socks, and sock suspenders, and pant suspenders for the cargo shorts, and a belt, and a sweater or insulating layer in case it gets chilly, and a wool jersey over the tech base layer, and a kerchief, and glacier glasses, and a Bell helmet, and full rain gear on the rack, and a sandwich for later, and an apple for after the sandwich . . .

Quote from Edward Scissorhands:"The years spent in isolation have not equipped him with the tools necessary to judge right from wrong. He's had no context. He's been completely without guidance. Furthermore, his work - the garden sculptures, hairstyles and so forth - indicate that he's a highly imaginative... uh... character. It seems clear that his awareness of what we call reality is radically underdeveloped."

Ya gotta love the ex-tech Trek, all it really needs is Biopace chainrings, and it was likely designed on a Radio Shack TRS-80. Kinda like a rolling museum of epic failure, no doubt nicknamed the "Vista". Large Pantani-style 1993 sunglasses are a must. I'm sending this to my friends via my Palm Pilot.

I can sum up the problem with our Trek. Subconsciously, the human mind equates symmetry with beauty.

Couldn't disagree more. 3 steps and 5 look better than 4. 5 columns, not 4 or 6. 3/4/5 proportions in framing a building. Ever wonder why the architectural world isn't comprised of equilateral triangles and squares, but has a lot of rectangles and odd little shapes? It's because perfectly symmetrical things hurt the eyes. It's "brutalism."

It's true with nature too. Ever hold up a small miror so that it bisects a picture of a supermodel's face? You'll notice her face isn't exactly symmmetrical, and a perfectly symmetrical picture - which is what the mirror gives you - looks weird somehow.

That said, we seem to like things to be ever-so-slightly tweaked. There's nothing slightly assymetrical about that Trek; it's the equivalent of a swimsuit model with a B cup on one side, double D on the other. Just... wrong. So wrong.

I don't think you can accuse Snob of working on Rosh Hashana, as I doubt he is being paid for this, blogging does not fall under any of the 39 prohibited activities, and contemplating the mysteries of this wonderous bike should be considered a spiritual observance on a par with studying the Talmud.

since everything is just a recycledversion of something past... arepre carbon full 7005 aero frames the next 'it'? or am i missing it, and it's really 90's bmx cruisers, or late 80's neon klein mountain bikes? i'm lost.... but i've never been cool or remotely hip. just a dork on a bike.

I saw a guy on my commute this morning riding a hardtail MTB, crappy suspension fork with the accordion style rubber boots on it, panniers, TT bars, and a rear disc wheel. I had never seen a disc wheel on a 26" bike before- guessing it was repurposed from a 650 type tri bike...

I think the Trek is a brilliant bike. There are a lot of rough urban roads that I have to play "dodge the pothole" on when riding my road bike, so a suspended fork would work very well on an "urban assault" commuter - still fast, but with some front end compliance that would make it more controllable.

However, the TT setup and full D/A are a bit much. But I do like that front fork.... time to start looking for one I guess... :-D

I think maybe the proverbial "Million Monkeys With Typewriters" finally turned out some Shakespeare and have gone on to other pursuits. I'm guessing that Vroomen-White has them working on the P-5 and this is just a warm up.

...frank schleck, fabian cancellara, stuey o'grady & yes, tour winner carlos sastre have all been accused of using 'cera', the same form of 'epo' that got ricci richardo (richardo ricco) tossed from the tour...

...personally, i'll wait 'til all the details are in, but i do recall a nice little post-tour interview where sastre expressed his indignation towards people like ricco & how riders like himself had been honest & worked hard throughout their careers to achieve results...

ROCK SHOX Paris-Roubaix."LeMond, LaSalle, Tchmill -- Winners, champions and legends. Racing and winning on the cobblestones of France in the Hell of the North using the RockShox Paris-Roubaix fork. Setting trends for comfort performance bikes in the future."

It appears the cross-chaining is due to no cable for the front der. I guess that'll shave some weight. Or maybe this is Lance's new multi-discipline training bike. Makes sense since he's gonna have to time trial and ride Leadville. The granny ring only must be to bring back his "suplesse" cadence, and the rack would be for his ego. It IS a Trek after all.

Despite the owner's claim, I don't think that's a Rock Shox Paris Roubaix because is has canti brake mounts rather than a road caliper mount. Looks like a garden-variety Mag 21, which would explain why a 700c wheel doesn't fit properly in it.

yeah, but the canti's line up properly with the rim. I think it is one of those old air-oil paris-roubaix forks. Maybe the seals are blown and he is riding it bottomed out. The headtube angle looks a bit steep

Schwinn, you realize, has provided the bikes for the Little 500 for the past couple of years. The Cutter no doubt alludes to the rich history of cheap fixies which have filled Bloomington, Indiana's streets since long before there was a fixed-gear scene. There may well be as many used Little 500 machines--some with flat bars--on the roads as there are grow houses in this Berkeley of the Midwest.

Most importantly about the "Cutter"... does it coast while having no brakes like the bike the Cutters Team races in the film???

That Trek though, that is BRILLIANT! It's a slap in the face to the component manufacturers who have tried to make all bike standards so incompatible with one another that soon getting a flat tire will mean you will have to buy new wheels. I love that fugly Trek with every last rebellious molecule that constitutes the bottom of my heart!

If you are not familiar with that web site, they you can be forgiven for not getting the joke. Somebody went to a lot of trouble for it, though.

I don't know my vintage Rock Shox well enough to figure out what that is on the front, but I do know that there was a version of the Ruby that took cantis. Can't leave the touring bikes out in the cold, or the 'cross crowd, either. They were advertised to have something like 30mm of travel, which since Rock Shox travel in them days was a lot like Reaganomics, was in reality somewhere around a half inch.

Well, ok ~ in execution this bike is similar to a Bad Boy: http://www.cannondale.com/bikes/09/cusa/model-8BS.html700c wheels/suspension forkHeck, I don’t understand why it doesn’t have disc brakes.But the amazing energy and invention invested in that bike truly boggles the mind when one considers that in the first place it doesn’t even fit the rider (note seat height) is truly amazing when you also consider that if the rider who fits that seat height were to try to “assume the position” on the aero bars no way could he even reach those bar-end shifters.Seriously, how does he ride that thing?Weird.

Thanks snob, my girlfreind and I just had a little tiff because I woke her up from laughing so hard. Your comments on the trek are amoung your best work to date, when you pointed out the kickstand I really lost it.

Hang on here, Mini Me and I spent alot of time on that bike project and we both agree it is some of our finest work yet. Perhaps our Mini Me inspired little car, the Mini, after him of course, is special. How else could he reach the clutch, beauty through necessity

How it affect you? Did you buy insurance? Did you buy mini note or bonds?

Who fault?

They only talk about how bad the crisis will be, but they did not give regulation measures…..

Although not approved initially when thinking of using tax payer money, $700B is used to save finance industry only, how about the industry that you are in.....retail industry, construction industry, manufacturing industry, R&D, electronics, electrical, mechanical, chemical, IT etc.... each industry will be able to enjoy at least $10B.......Which will make every industry vibrant…..

They say without using tax payer money, they will not be able to lend to small companies…..

Bank primary role is to lend money….else what sort of business will let them earn….?

Many companies had been merged and consolidated, and they are stronger now, so don’t bail out, they will consolidated…..

Many ways of raising their own funds eg preference shares, sovereignty fund etc.

The top management of the Public listed company ( belong to "public" ) salary should be tied a portion of it to the shares price ( IPO or ave 5 years ).... so when the shares price drop, it don't just penalise the investors, but those who don't take care of the company.....If this rule is pass on, without any need of further regulation, all industries ( as long as it is public listed ) will be self regulated......

We must push for it for our next generations......

Sign a petition to your favourite president candidate, congress member again and ask for their views to comment on this, and what regulations they are going to raise for implementation.....If you agree on my point, please share with many people as possible....

Media and finance sector are the only two sectors ( hopefully Hacker can also ) which can overcome political incorrect power, so it is time to fine tune to the correct path, so hopefully media can united to report the truth...... ( because after this incident, they will still required media in future )

The bailout (sorry rescuing dolphins with AIDS) bill includes a tax deduction for bike commuters. 1 SEC. 211. TRANSPORTATION FRINGE BENEFIT TO BICYCLE2 COMMUTERS.3 (a) IN GENERAL.—Paragraph (1) of section 132(f)4 is amended by adding at the end the following:5 ‘‘(D) Any qualified bicycle commuting re6imbursement.’’.7 (b) LIMITATION ON EXCLUSION.—Paragraph (2) of8 section 132(f) is amended by striking ‘‘and’’ at the end9 of subparagraph (A), by striking the period at the end10 of subparagraph (B) and inserting ‘‘, and’’, and by adding11 at the end the following new subparagraph:12 ‘‘(C) the applicable annual limitation in13 the case of any qualified bicycle commuting re14imbursement.’’.15 (c) DEFINITIONS.—Paragraph (5) of section 132(f)16 is amended by adding at the end the following:17 ‘‘(F) DEFINITIONS RELATED TO BICYCLE18 COMMUTING REIMBURSEMENT.—19 ‘‘(i) QUALIFIED BICYCLE COMMUTING20 REIMBURSEMENT.—The term ‘qualified bi21cycle commuting reimbursement’ means,22 with respect to any calendar year, any em23ployer reimbursement during the 15-month24 period beginning with the first day of such25 calendar year for reasonable expenses in26curred by the employee during such cal206O:\AYO\AYO08C32.xml S.L.C.1 endar year for the purchase of a bicycle2 and bicycle improvements, repair, and stor3age, if such bicycle is regularly used for4 travel between the employee’s residence5 and place of employment.6 ‘‘(ii) APPLICABLE ANNUAL LIMITA7TION.—The term ‘applicable annual limita8tion’ means, with respect to any employee9 for any calendar year, the product of $2010 multiplied by the number of qualified bicy11cle commuting months during such year.12 ‘‘(iii) QUALIFIED BICYCLE COM13MUTING MONTH.—The term ‘qualified bi14cycle commuting month’ means, with re15spect to any employee, any month during16 which such employee—17 ‘‘(I) regularly uses the bicycle for18 a substantial portion of the travel be19tween the employee’s residence and20 place of employment, and21 ‘‘(II) does not receive any benefit22 described in subparagraph (A), (B),23 or (C) of paragraph (1).’’.24 (d) CONSTRUCTIVE RECEIPT OF BENEFIT.—Para25graph (4) of section 132(f) is amended by inserting207O:\AYO\AYO08C32.xml S.L.C.1 ‘‘(other than a qualified bicycle commuting reimburse2ment)’’ after ‘‘qualified transportation fringe’’.3 (e) EFFECTIVE DATE.—The amendments made by4 this section shall apply to taxable years beginning after5 December 31, 2008.

"This is my modified Schwinn World Tourist. It is my second fixed gear. The bike started life as a three speed, but then I shortened the chain stays, raised the bottom bracket, shortened the head tube, extended the top tube, flipped the dropouts, removed the brake bridge (you don't need brakes on a fixie anyway), and upgraded to a threadless headset. "

"A ZIPP carbon water cage compliments the EASTON 'Delta Force' carbon bullbar." When you think of all the other nonsense on this bike, and then he throws this zinger in there. no, no, not going to bother with aero brake levers or anything of that sort; but what i will do is spend $100 on a ZIPP carbon water cage, and $350 on EASTON TT bars. WHAT A CHARLIE FOXTROT if I've ever seen one. It's as if this bike was made just for BSNYC's viewing pleasure alone

There are many funny things in this world and I was surprised to learn that all of them can be found on this bike and the flotsam of comments surrounding it. . . you are all to be congratulated as I am not sure I will ever be right again after seeing this page. That is a terribly, terribly tough act to follow. . . indeed, an Escher sketch within one bicycle.

"the right tool for the right job": switch out the wheels for something truable, add full fenders and a front rack, and the right job just might be working as a messenger in montreal. Challenges such as crater-sized potholes, cobblestones, snow and ice, steep climbs, underpaid 20km deliveries, and boxes full of betacam tapes, all would be easily conquered by that beautiful machine. please send it here.

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About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!