Thursday, February 14, 2013

Can We Talk? How I Feel About Singles Events on Valentine's Day

Okay before I get into this, let me just say that I am not entirely sure how I feel about this subject. I am actually writing this to get some clarity so bear with me.

Within the past few weeks I have been invited to a few single ladies events for Valentine's Day. When I tell you that I have had some sort of physical reaction likened to a war veteran with a nervous tick, I am not joking. Some of them have been church related, others have not. Mind you, I absolutely love Valentine's Day. The joy I get from walking through Target during Valentine's Day season with all of the pink hearts and candy and such makes me feel like I am going to explode into a pile of glitter and Skittles. I am no V-Day hater. However, there is something about celebrating singleness with a bunch of women on Valentine's Day that makes me want to run towards the hills.

Yesterday I texted my friend Mel who is my doppleganger. We are so similar in the way we think that sometimes it's a little scary. More than a few times has someone met her and said "Oh my goodness you remind me so much of Toya!" and vice versa. I figured that perhaps she could give me some insight. She said she has celebrated the day with friends and pizza as well as celebrated it alone with pizza. This makes sense because I know her to be just as content alone as she can be around people that she loves. Mel would celebrate Leap Year alone with pizza because she absolutely loves it so a special occasion isn't necessarily the point. When she told me this, I wasn't taken aback because honestly I would totally hang out with her on Valentine's Day with no problem. So why did I start itching when I was invited to some single ladies Valentine's Day events?

Because I know Mel. Because I know that if we got together we would have a blast. And I know for a fact that at no time during the evening would it turn into a gripe fest or a bunch of sad faces wishing that they were booed up somewhere. Nor would it turn into an evening of a bunch of women trying to affirm each other and themselves that they are okay. I just...uh uh. For an entire evening? I am happy being single but I don't feel like getting dressed up with a bunch of women proclaiming "We are happy being single and we will prove it crowded up in this restaurant booth with each other while we are surrounded by couples." NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Nor am I going to any church events where I will be subjected to stuff like this:

No ma'am. Jesus is not my Valentine! I'm not sitting around listening to Jodeci and Peabo Bryson with Jesus! I'm pretty sure he's okay with that too. He knows me. He gets it.

It wasn't until this year did I see this as a holiday almost exclusively for couples. My dad has given me a Valentine's Day gift every single year of my life. For the most part this has made me feel like you celebrate the ones that are close to you a little extra special on Valentine's Day. For instance, I got my roommates each a card and some chocolate. I also think you should totally celebrate yourself as well by doing something that you love to do. But lately, I feel like this really is just a holiday for couples and I am cool with that because I love celebrating romantic love. For instance, right now as I do every year, I am listening to a collection of my favorite love songs by 80's and 90's R&B male groups. Love is a beautiful thing and I love to hear people sing about it, especially on Valentine's Day. So why do I not want to celebrate it with other single women? I guess I just feel like if I get together with a bunch of single women on Valentine's Day to celebrate ourselves, I will be sitting there the entire time thinking "You know we only got together because we're single, right?" That's much different than going out on a random Friday night and spontaneously staying out until 3 am and then turning to one another and saying "You know we can only do this because we are single right?" The latter scenario is said with sheer joy. The former, not so much.

Like I said, I am still figuring this out. I hope I am not offending anyone that is headed out to their single ladies Valentine's Day events tonight. It's just that when I am that adamant about not doing something, I need to get to the root of it and figure out why. Is there anyone else that avoids single ladies events on Valentine's Day like the plague?

1 comment:

This v-day they host at parties at San Jose, I also attend this parties. It was a great parties, In this parties I enjoy a lot. Their offer unlimited wine, everyone hang out their and enjoy the events.