Wednesday, April 09, 2008

This applies to Anglicans, too

I got this in an e-mail from a Catholic friend of mine.-The Archer----------------------------------------------------------------------------------This information is for Catholics only. It should not be divulged to non-Catholics. The less they know about our rituals and code words, the better off they are.

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending Mass.CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish tolip-sync.HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.HYMN: A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than thatof the congregation's range.RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass often su ng a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.INCENSE: Holy Smoke!JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to find colleges with good basketball teams.JONAH: The original "Jaws" story.JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.KYRIE ELEISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava. (For you non-Catholics it means 'Lord have mercy.')MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.MANGER: Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO. (The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough.)PEW: A Reformation torture device still found in Catholic churches.PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.

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