Paddy West

Paddy West really existed, and this forebitter is
substantially true. Paddy was a Liverpool
crimp (supplier of seamen to ships needing crews) and notorious boarding house
keeper. He provided vessels with ‘fully qualified’ sailors after a crash
course in his attic and back yard - ideal for country bumpkins who didn’t know
one end of a ship from another, or men desperate to run away to sea for
whatever reason - with the aid of a ship’s wheel in the yard, and a wife who
threw buckets of water over his recruits, to acclimatise them to a tough
life at sea. He never actually told lies - his graduates truly had crossed the
line, or rounded the Horn - but not quite in the way the Captain might have
imagined! He’d often bribe the Mate to place his recruits on opposite watches,
so he only had to provide one set of oilskins between two.

Paddy West

As I was
walkin' down London Road,
I come to Paddy West's house,

He gave me a
dish of American hash; he called it Liverpool
scouse,

He said
" There's a ship and she's wantin' hands, and on her you must sign,

The mate's a
bastard, the skipper's worse, but sure, she’ll suit you fine."

Take off yer dungaree
jacket,

and give yerself a rest,

And we'll think of them cold nor'westers

that we had at Paddy West.

When we had
finished our dinner, boys, the wind began to blow.

Paddy sent
me up to the attic, the main-royal for to stow,

But when I
got to the attic, no main-royal could I find,

So I turned
myself round to the window, and I furled the window blind.

Now Paddy he
pipes all hands on deck, their stations for to man.

His wife she
stood in the doorway, with a bucket in her hand;

And Paddy he
cries, "Now let her rip!" and she throws the water our way,

Cryin'
"Clew in the fore t'gan'sl, boys, she's takin' on the spray!"

Now seein'
she's bound for the south'ard, to Frisco she was bound;

Paddy he
takes a length of rope, and he lays it on the ground,

We all steps
over, and back again, and he says to me "That's fine,

And if ever
they ask were you ever at sea you can say you crossed the line."

There's just
one thing for you to do before you sail away,

Just step
around the table, where the bullock's horn do lay

And if ever
they ask "Was you ever at sea?" you can say "Ten times round the
Horn"