The Playoff Beard Is on Its Last Legs

There you see the evolution of the short-lived playoff beard. And yes, you read correctly — I am writing in the past tense because the Pens are done. Before I get to the breakdown, you should know what you’re looking at. From left to right: prior to Game 1 on Wednesday, April 11th; prior to Game 4 on April 17th; and today, prior to Game 5 on April 19th. And I have to tell you, this Kyle Orton neckbeard ish ain’t cool. How the eff did he play games like that without the urge to scratch his neck every five seconds? This ain’t comfortable at all.

Anywhoo, I don’t even know what to say. I already dubbed Game 4 the “must-win” game for Pittsburgh. And they lost. So I don’t even know what to call this Game 5 with the Pens down 3-1 and having to play it in Ottawa. Suffice it to say I’ve written them off.

Still, it’s no worry to me. Sidney Crosby and this Penguins team will win a Cup, sooner, rather than later. They have way too much talent. Nothing wrong with getting bounced in the first round … baby steps, it’s all about progress. In fact, their regular season record is enough to be proud of.

As for the playoff beard, should it live to see more days, I’d like you all to know that the mission has been accomplished. I watched Game 4 on Tuesday instead of the Red Sox/Blue Jays game. I’ve been keeping up with all the series.

I can tell you that the Rangers are a juggernaut, but they better pray the Lightning beat the Devils, because they don’t want any piece of Buffalo in the second round. I can tell you that the hockey playoffs are like the baseball playoffs; where good pitching stops good hitting, good goaltending stops good shooting. And such, the team with the hottest goalie goes the farthest.

And that goalie looks like Roberto Luongo of the Canucks — he’s stopped 55 of 57 shots in the past two games, both Canuck wins. Meaning, Luongo is single-handedly carrying Vanouver out of the first round. Yeah, you like that analysis don’t you? See, that’s what happens when you grow the beard, you get all into it. Be sure to stop by PSAMP for some Game 5 analysis coming up.