Also Recommended: If you just want to watch a show of unlikable heroines shooting and fighting, I would recommend you just watch Panty and Stocking and Garterbelt instead.

Notes: The original DVD release for this series is extremely rare to come by. Also take note; the audio is pitched up on it for some reason.

Only the first episode of the show is on crunchyroll.

Rating:

Abunai Sisters: Koko & Mika

Synopsis

Mika and Koko are big-name celebrities who live together in a large mansion on a beach. But they seldom have peace and quiet to themselves, due to a perverted glasses boy named Paparazzi Matsumoto and an old lady named Madam Hokuroda trying to snatch their Booby Stone.

Review

I’ve never been a huge fan of the super short anime format (e.g. 3 minute episodes), because it always feels like to me like the animation companies who make them think to themselves, “Hey, instead of animating an entire series, let’s make enough material for an episode and a half and just air that over two-six months instead. Cheaper production, less risk, and if it sells well through some gosh-darn miracle, we can repeat this again.” (As Teekyuu’s success will demonstrate, it sometimes works. Sometimes.)

Currently the seventh lowest rated anime on MyAnimeList, Abunai Sisters: Koko & Mika is what happens when a talented studio (Production I.G) is given the task to make a three-minute long comedy show, as opposed to the usual, tinier studios that make these shows. But despite being labeled a comedy, there’s nothing to laugh at here except that someone got paid to produce this crap.

For starters, the character designs are incredibly ugly. The show constantly reminds us of how supposedly beautiful and sexy Koko and Mika are supposed to be, but they look CG Bratz dolls with oversized breasts attached to them, making them look more like bobblehead dolls than anything resembling a human. They have near nothing in terms of personality as well, aside from Koko having a much more inflated ego than her sister. Listen to this dialogue exchange from one of the episodes:

Mika: I think you’re too demanding, Koko. There are no five-star restaurants that deliver. Why don’t we just take the limo to a restaurant?

Koko: We celebrities have to be demanding.

Isn’t Koko just super likable? It sure doesn’t help that most of the episodes revolve around her as well. Koko fights with guns and Mika uses her body, but we only get to see Mika save the day on her own once in the entire series’ runtime.

Aside from the Abunai sisters themselves, the only other characters - literally the only other characters - are the villains. A nerdy walking otaku caricature stereotype named Paparazzi Matsumoto and his boss, an old lady named Madam Hokuroda, whose head’s character design is straight-up stolen from Yubaba’s from Spirited Away, right down to the beauty mark in-between her eyes.

Did I just mention a Hayao Miyazaki work in a review of this turd? Sorry, Mr. Miyazaki.

Anywho, the villains’ main goal of the series is to try to steal the sisters’ Booby Stone (I wish I was making this up), which apparently has the power of eternal youth and beauty. Cue the many “funny” cartoony gags that go along with it.

So far, none of this sounds particularly terrible, right? But it’s the way the show executes its episodes that make the show so unwatchable.

First off, the entire series uses motion capture animation, which is so bad you have to wonder if the cast members’ arms and legs weren’t broken as they animated this show. Remember, this aired on TV weekly originally. So there’s strike one.

Secondly, the series tries to use its incredibly unsexy heroines’ breasts for fan service by constantly zooming in on them, and even giving them an ability that expands their breasts to triple their size. Also, every time the girls are in danger, they get an alert signal via their breasts jiggling, which is the equivalent of Spiderman’s butt jiggling every time his Spidey Sense goes off. So there’s strike two.

Third, the voice acting is TERRIBLE!. The sisters sound like their actresses just walked out of a hentai audition, and Hokuroda’s actress does one of the worst fake old person voices since Master Roshi in, well, any Dragon Ball English dub really. There’s no Japanese language track in this show, mind you, so you get to listen to terrible English voice acting instead. So there’s strike three.

For an added bonus, for some reason the audio is pitched up on the official DVD release! Why would Production I.G do this I have no idea. But in doing so, it already makes an already terrible show sound even worse when your “sexy heroines” sound like Alvin and the Chipmunks.

Apparently for years only two episodes of Abunai Sisters: Koko & Mika existed on the Internet, until in 2016 the other eight episodes were found and posted online. And we missed out on…nothing. Nothing at all. The series doesn’t even a proper conclusion.

Abunai Sisters: Koko & Mika is a rare bad anime in that it even isn’t any fun to mock. It’s just poorly motion captured fanservice shlock, plain and simple. It’s not the worst anime I’ve ever seen, but it’s one of the least entertaining I’ve reviewed to date. Even Pilot’s Love Song at least had ONE likable character in it!