It’s OK to Celebrate Dads (Part III)

Over the last week, I’ve been sharing a 4-part blog about our collective need to do a much better job of celebrating dads. In Part I, we tried to get some explanation for why we hesitate to celebrate dads. In Part II, we tried to discuss what’s at stake and the question of why this even matters at all. In this 3rd part of the series, the conversation will move to a more practical place and offer some tips for getting started. Feel free to read it, share your thoughts, and pass it along!

Start Somewhere and Just say Thanks

Knowing that I will alienate a few of my feminist friends, I think that the journey to celebrating fathers well begins by acknowledging that men and women are not the same, and that we contribute distinct things, especially within the context of family. On his best day, a father is not a mother. The same rule applies to a woman attempting to replace a man. If you need help working through this concept, try wrestling with this question: What abilities/skills/quirks/traits/etc. did you get from your dad that your mom could not have given you? Contrary to what society seems to be leaning towards, there are some very unique and valuable things that a father contributes to the family. Recognizing that one small truth will begin a process that will allow us to move to the next step – look for those praiseworthy things and affirm him for them.

Begin by spending some real time discovering the unique contributions that your husband, your dad, your brother makes to his family. Discover the ways that he blesses his family and celebrate those things. Maybe he’s a fixer who goes to great length to keep the house functioning and moving along. I’m not that kind of dad, but I appreciate those kinds of dads. Maybe he’s an encourager who cheers his kids along in everything – academics, sports, hobbies, even relationships. It’s ok to let him know how that adds to the life of your family. Maybe he’s a strong, silent type who brings a certain calm to every situation. You’d be crazy not to acknowledge that! Maybe he’s the hardworking dad who sacrifices so that mom can stay at home and care for the kids. More and more these days, I even see dads that stay at home while mom has the career. That’s incredibly courageous and deserves some thanks!

To the question of how, let’s remember that the “right” way to say thanks is as unique as each dad is. My wife would never spend $1,000 on a power tool as a gift for me. She knows that it would never get used. Much more awesome in my book is the assortment of random e-mail or text messages that she sends me out of the blue to say thanks for being an awesome husband and father! When I read them, I feel like there is nothing that I can’t accomplish!

Honestly, there is no one image of fatherhood and no universal “right way” to celebrate fathers; However, there is one common desire that I’d argue all men have and that is the desire to know that what he is doing is appreciated and is worth something!