Surrogate: a measure of your absence

Finding comfort for loneliness, one reaches to other people, activity to engage in, and/or a relationship with their environment. Often, the search uncovers a yearning that a surrogate cannot compensate for. In a 3 hour performance to film, I dug soil out of the land and filled a pink cotton sack scaled to human dimensions. I then laid with the sack, looking for the land, the place, the environment to replace the feeling of loss felt by not feeling the intimacy of another.

Creating the surrogate

The sack was filled with soil, hand dug in Castle Hill, Maine. It was loosened with a spade and then primarily dug through tree roots by hand. Sack dimensions are 78 x 25 x 7" and it weighs 223 pounds.

Being with surrogate

Creating surrogate was an intimate experience. I filled it by hand and sewed it shut with a needle and thread. Before closing it up, I pulled it to a beautiful tree lined area and slipped inside. After sewn up, I laid with the surrogate, quietly observing.

Leaving surrogate behind

I left surrogate in Castle Hill, Maine, where artist Carol Ayoob, continues to document its evolution. The fabric stains with moisture; an animal dug inside to build a nest; eventually, the elements tore off the top of the sack to expose the beautiful green insides in contrast to the weather worn environment.