Haters gonna hate: Pumpkin spice isn’t hurting you

Ah, fall. The crisp cool weather. The turning leaves. The fun of getting my sweaters out of storage.

That all sounds nice. One problem: I live on the center of the sun (AKA San Antonio, Texas) so fall for us happens sometime in early February. Okay, I kid, but only a little. Besides, even though it might not feel like fall, I get to experience the magic of fall that I am missing though the magic of the Internet.

Summer is over. Forget the fact that it’s still a craptillion degrees here and that I’m still dealing with mega boob sweat. The 70 aisles of autumn leaves and sparkly, glittery pumpkins at Target tells me fall has showed up to the party. I heard a rumor Costco already has Christmas stuff out. I can’t look.

But you know what I love most about fall? Watching the pumpkin spice haters getting wound the hell up. You know what I mean. Someone on your friends list possesses a deep, dark hatred for all things pumpkin spice and isn’t shy about letting everyone everywhere know about it.

It’s flavored coffee. People look forward to it all year…either that or they look forward to the whole “love to hate” aspect of it all. I don’t get why people get their undies in a bunch because the Internet goes on and on about pumpkin spice.

I’m not a pumpkin spice latte girl…I’ll just put that out there. I like my coffee to taste like coffee, not pumpkin, gingerbread, peppermint or whatever the hell else the holidays tell me my coffee should taste like.

1. Pumpkin spice is not the only seasonal consumer product that people go cray cray crazy over.

The pumpkin frenzy will pass…and then it will be time for the internet to gripe and moan about the Elf on the Shelf. Poor Thanksgiving. That’s my absolute favorite holiday and it gets so shafted.

2. Pumpkin spice isn’t hurting you

If your loved one has a pumpkin spice problem, odds are he or she is still behaving like a decent human being. Other than maybe having an expensive coffee habit, pumpkin spice addicts are still generally productive members of society. Men don’t stay out all night drinking pumpkin spice. Women don’t ignore their children’s needs because they’re focused on nothing but getting their hands around a warm cup of that foamy goodness. Okay…well, maybe that second thing might be a problem for some.

3. Pumpkin spice isn’t taking over the planet…

…although it kind of seems that way. Yes, there are pumpkin spice flavored bagels, cream cheeses, cookies, bakery products out the wazoo, body lotions, candles, condoms (yes, really…people are weirdos.) There is a lot of pumpkin spice stuff around…it’s not going to take over the planet. It might seem like it’s taking over Panera Bread and Starbucks but I have to say, pumpkin spice baked goods don’t suck. Pumpkin spice wants to be your friend. If it’s not your thing, just deal for six weeks. Like all good things, it will come to an end.

4. Psst…you know this stuff doesn’t actually contain pumpkin, right?

Pumpkin spice flavored stuff is actually pumpkin free. Can you chill out about this or does it make you hate pumpkin spice all the more? Do you think Starbucks is damaging pumpkin’s reputation? Do you resent pumpkin spice because it’s posing as authentic pumpkin? And what is pumpkin, anyway…a fruit? A vegetable? A decorative product? I don’t know. So many questions, right?

So. When it comes to fall, I think of pumpkin spice and I laugh because it seems like there are two kinds of people in this world: people who love pumpkin spice and people who love to hate it. Chill and find something else to appreciate about fall…the beauty of foliage, the heady smell of candy corn, or the fact that there’s not a giant stream of sweat rolling down the back of your neck toward your butt.

It’s only a flavor…it’s just coffee, man.

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Comments

Oh Jill, you always make me laugh. First, my condolences on ton living in the venter of the sun. I lobed in south Florida for 20 years – I get it! Second, I don’t care for Pumpkin Spice, either. Yuck. But I do get excited when I see the signs at Starbucks, because it means cooler temps are coming:). Also, oddly, I love the smell of pumpkin flavored baked goods. SO I get all warm and fuzzy when the sweet odor takes over bakeries.

Ha! What an awesome, fun read to start out my day as I sit here and drink my daily cup of French Roast, black with a dash of sweet-n-low. No frilly flavors for this girl. Your images crack me up. Gosh, I can’t imagine a fall without sweaters, even though they make me smell like the cardboard box they were stored in (they’re such a pain to clean!) Lots of brilliance here, but I discovered your secret to making readers laugh out loud from this . . . ” giant stream of sweat rolling down the back of your neck toward your butt.” You see, most people would stop that sentence after “back of your neck.” But you take that extra effort to add “toward your butt.” And that’s why readers love you:)Julie Jo Severson recently posted…Matchmaker, Misfit, And Mom At Midlife Asking What’s Next?

I had my first pumpkin spice latte at Tim Hortons today (it’s Canadian–I doubt they’ve made it to San Antonio?) It was delicious…and probably the only one I’ll have all year as it is sweeter than a sweet tea on a front porch in Mississippi in August. 🙂Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted…How 9/11 is Part of Our Story – Club Mid

Haha, you are so right! The poor pumpkin! It used to be a sign of Hallowe’en and carving jack-o-lanterns. The pumpkin used to be revered! Darn food industry went and ruined it for everyone…well, except me apparently. I’m the giddy lady in the Starbucks line dying for that first sip of a pumpkin latte and I’m not afraid to admit it 🙂 Thanks for sharing! #pumpkinineverything

Awesome! I’m fairly cranky about herdlike, slavish fad following in general, but GOOD GAWD, I’d be so happy if people could stop bitching about pumpkin spice! (Although some of the sarcastic memes, like pumpkin-spice kitty litter and pumpkin-spice bleach, ARE pretty funny.)

Hi Jill – So glad I found your blog…I laughed all the way through this post…pumpkin spice and all…Bring on Thanksgiving(!)…but truth be told….I already got my Christmas tags at Costco…silly, perhaps, but one more thing off the crazy list dancing in my head. 🙂Jeanne recently posted…One Room Challenge – No More Puppet Master!

Haha hell yes!! As a avid pumpkin spice lover ( I admit I am basic) I live for this time of year. But you are right people loooooove to hate it. I on the other hand will sip on my PSL and laugh at the haters haha. Thanks for the share!

[…] author, and award winning writer, speaker and wine snob. She writes regularly on her blog, Ripped Jeans and Bifocals . You can keep up with her on Facebook and Twitterhttps://www.twitter.com/JillinIL […]

[…] author, and award winning writer, speaker and wine snob. She writes regularly on her blog, Ripped Jeans and Bifocals . You can keep up with her on Facebook and Twitterhttps://www.twitter.com/JillinIL […]

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All About Jill

Hey there and welcome! My name is Jill Robbins and this is my space on the internet. I’m happy you are here. Just so you know, if this weren’t the internet, I’d be smiling awkwardly and answering simple questions like “how are you today” with gems like “Me too!” and “Great, but I forgot to put on deodorant.” I’m that person.