A Cynic's Quest For Love

Monthly Archives: February 2015

I spent a lot of time on this blog analyzing online dating, analyzing the men who I come across on these sites and the messages they send me. But what about me?

I decided to do something a little different for this post and examine how exactly I went about putting together my online dating profile. Why I decided to write what I wrote, (specifically in the “text” portion, i.e. hopefully it’s obvious that I listed by height as my actual height, and my religion as my actual religion, etc.), how I chose what pictures to post, etc. Because trust me, a lot of thought actually went into these decisions. All joking aside, I joined online dating in hopes of legitimately finding someone to spend my life with and I am still looking. This blog was just a happy accident and a fun side project.

So maybe, once we dive in, you’ll have some better insight into why I’m so miserably unsuccessful.

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Valentine’s Day is often (un)affectionately referred to as “Singles Awareness Day.” As if I wasn’t aware of my singleness the other 364 days of the year.

So this Valentine’s Day I decided to celebrate Mardi Gras. That is, until the sky decided to poop out a bunch of snow that no one expected. So, you know… that happened.

Instead, I’ve decided maybe I should spend more time being aware that I’m single. Maybe actually being single, having my Facebook status say “single,” checking all the boxes on my taxes as “single,” and having a blog about being single just isn’t enough. Maybe I should have spent more time on February 14th really pondering what it means to be single. But since February 14th passed me by, let’s make February 17th the day to reeeallly dig into singleness. Let’s make February 17th “hey, you don’t have a boy/girlfriend!” day. It can be the day when your grandparents call you and ask if you’ve found a boy/girlfriend yet and your parents can ask why you’re still single and maybe its finally time to meet their coworker’s nephew who has that weird way that they slurp when they eat, but it’s really not THAT bad. And then your friends can have double dates with each other and you can stay at home because you don’t have anyone to double date with, so instead you can drink a bottle of cheap wine by yourself and cry into a large Papa Johns pizza while you watch Pretty Woman and think, “how did that skanky prostitute end up with Richard Gere? Maybe if I sang Prince in the bathtub I’d have a boyfriend, too.” Let’s make that a holiday. It seems like it would be less depressing to do that on a “holiday” than just some random Tuesday. And let’s make that holiday start today.