THE Military Wives Choir was set up to support the families of Armed Forces personnel. Two members tell us their stories

Christmas is a time when families come together to give and receive presents and tuck into turkey. But for the men and women who serve in the Armed Forces it can be a very different story as many have to spend Christmas thousands of miles away from their loved ones.

The Military Wives Choir, which includes more than 1,000 members, was set up in 2010 to offer support to the partners and children left at home. The choir’s first single Wherever You Are was the Christmas number one in 2011 and raised more than £500,000 for military charities.

Here we speak to two choir members about how they cope with Christmas apart from their other halves.

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When he left I felt as if I'd hit a brick wall

Hazel Mathieson, 34, lives in Scotland with husband Grant, 34, a corporal in the RAF. They have three children James, 10, Connor, eight and Amy, six.

It felt like any normal Christmas Eve.

We hung up stockings, put out biscuits and milk for Santa and placed all the beautifully wrapped presents under the tree. After kissing our son James good night we went to sleep dreaming of turkey and mince pies.

The fact it was only December 1 was irrelevant to us. The reason for our premature celebration was that my husband Grant, who serves in the Royal Air Force, was due to be deployed to Afghanistan on December 3.

ANDY MACKENZIE

Hazel found friendship in the Military Wives Choir

Bringing Christmas forward by 23 days was the only way we would be able to celebrate it as a family that year. Grant and I met at school but didn’t start dating until we were 18.

In December 2005 I gave birth to James and we married the following December. When Grant joined the RAF in the summer of 2006 I knew exactly what I was signing up for as a military wife.

My dad had also served in the air force so I knew what was in store for our little family. As James was only six months old when Grant signed up, I moved in with my mum for extra support. While he was away undergoing three months of basic training in RAF Halton, I threw myself into motherhood.

The separation was really hard. Technology wasn’t as advanced as it is now so our only form of communication was writing letters. Then in late 2008 Grant was told that he was scheduled to be deployed to Afghanistan for three months.

I knew that moment would come at some point in our lives but I didn’t feel any more prepared for it. We were determined to celebrate Christmas as a family. As soon as the first trees started appearing in shops that November we bought one and decorated it immediately.

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The choir’s first single Wherever You Are was the Christmas number one in 2011

On December 1, our Christmas Eve, we got the house ready and the following morning we opened presents before tucking into turkey and all the trimmings. Our neighbours even played the part and wished us a Merry Christmas as we embarked on a wintry walk.

After putting James and Connor to bed, Grant and I sat up talking into the early hours until it was time for him to leave. When he left it felt like I’d hit a brick wall. We’d had the most magical day and now I was alone.

The real Christmas Day was even worse, it felt completely empty without him. While Grant still spends months at a time away from home, we haven’t had to spend Christmas apart since.

The children are old enough now to ask difficult questions. Last time he went to Afghanistan James knew it was a dangerous place and kept asking: “Is daddy OK?”

For me, night time is the hardest because I lie awake wondering where he is and what he is doing. Having no one to speak to about how I’m feeling is hard, which is where the Military Wives Choir comes in. I joined in June 2015 and if offers me friendship and a chance to be Hazel rather than mummy.

I told the kids that dad was flying an aeroplane

Gemma Gladwin, 31, lives in Scotland with her husband Jay, 31, a corporal in the RAF. They have two children Keira, 10, and Sophie, nine.

When Jay received a phone call in December 2011 telling him that he was being deployed to Afghanistan, it came as a huge shock. We had been mentally preparing ourselves for his original departure date in April 2012, so to find out that he would be leaving in mid-December was devastating.

It wouldn’t be the first time that Jay and I had been separated for months at a time. Shortly after our youngest daughter Sophie was born he was dispatched to the Falklands for four months. It was tough but we coped.

The girls were too young to understand what was happening. I’d just tell them that daddy was on an aeroplane. Whenever they would see one flying over the house they would shout: “Daddy, daddy.”

But Afghanistan was different. A friend of a friend had been killed in action there shortly before so that weighed heavily on our minds.

When Jay’s departure date was brought forward from April to December, not only did we have less than two weeks to say our goodbyes but it meant he would also miss Christmas. To say Jay loves Christmas is an understatement.

He starts getting excited about it in early November and by December our house resembles Santa’s grotto.

We decided not to celebrate Christmas early because Jay didn’t want to confuse the girls. Instead we did a mini Christmas dinner and he opened two little presents from the girls.

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The Military Wives Choir meeting Prime Minister David Cameron in 2011

One was a teddy that said, “I love my dad”, which he took to Afghanistan with him. The day of his departure we went to watch the girls, who were four and five at the time, in their school nativity.

Normally after the nativity we go home and have a hot chocolate but this time Jay gave us all a kiss and a hug and was whisked off to the airport. There were a few tears.

The girls were desperate to know when daddy was coming home. Seeing the girls so upset was definitely the hardest part for Jay.

On Christmas Day we went to my mum’s. I’m one of five children so it was a very full house which was a bit of a distraction but I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that Jay wasn’t there.

However, it was taking the decorations down that was the hardest part because it meant he really had missed Christmas. Luckily we haven’t had to spend Christmas Day apart since but with Jay’s job we always need to bear in mind that next year we may have to be apart again.

It’s a comfort to know that I’ll have the Military Wives Choir on hand to lend their support.

It was my grandmother who suggested I join at the start of 2016. She wanted me to meet other women in my position. It was the best thing I ever did. I’ve made great friends and we carry each other in times of need. I know I can always count on them.

● The Military Wives Choir’s new album Home For Christmas is out now. The single Home For Christmas is out tomorrow