Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

TRIAL - Venting - likely going to trial!

God, we are going to trial because she is so unreasonable (part of it has to do with her inability to grasp finances. Why did I marry a stupid woman? If only she had a brain.). Damn!

She has the right to be as crazy and dumb as she wants to be but I wish it was some other guy other than me right now dealing with this crazy woman and paying these atty fees.

We are involved in legal HELL right now!!!!!!!!

We are going to have to go to trial on this.

My atty tells me the judge will split it all more fairly than her latest written proposal but it will cost a small fortune in legal fees to go to trial. So I guess we go to trial and there is a lot less left to split. The damn lawyers are getting rich and sucking the life blood out of the remaining assets.

Based on the numbers, I will be better off going to trial than agreeing with her winner take all notion at this time.

Well - just had to vent - I am having a very bad time right now and I don't know what to do with all the emotion that is racing through my system.

Any advice on preparing for trial? Or do I just watch the atty do his thing?

I am so sorry. I can hear how upsetting this is to you, but you outlined some positives to you, so I am hopeful that it will work itself out. We would have gone to trial, but my ex did not show up for mediation, so the judge made the decision for him! It worked in my favor. I would say, let your attorney handle it, at this point.
The only real control that you have is you and your reaction. Is there anyone that you could spend some time with this evening and just decompress, so that you are not alone? Soon, it will be over, and she will be someone elses problem, and you will have an opportunity to reinvent your life. Try to look forward to all the possibilities of that:-) Healing hugs, Kimmee

What is your own attorney saying about this? And do you trust him/her? Is your attorney saying that the best step is going to trial? The legal fees are killing me as well, but so far I feel as if my own attorney wants to get this over with as fast as possible (although he says my stbx's attorney has a reputation for fighting everything and trying to prolong things as long as possible so as to gouge more money out of her client--but at least my attorney seems to be implying he is NOT like that!). We are not at this stage yet, so it remains to be seen if we can reach an agreement. Good luck, and I hope things start to resolve themselves in a better way soon.

I feel your pain as my case is set for trial the end of June.I'm already 45k in the hole.My stbx feels that after 28 years of marriage that I deserve nothing,nada,zip.....WRONG.Since I left 4.5 years ago,I've asked for nothing and have gotten only a car that he financed the whole thing and stopped paying on it at one year tho he was ordered by the judge to continue paying on it til the divorce was final...he ended up being held in contempt and some things were taken away from him and given to me already to control.I'm hoping he doesn't change lawyers yet again before the trial.
It sounds like your stbx and mine are a match made in hell!!!!!

I feel bad for you. Our legal bills are much more than our first home. I asked him repeatedly not to let this happen. He's the one that left for the OW and wouldn't be fair. I asked him to give me a fair offer and we could go from there. He wouldn't do it. Now he is asking ME to settle quickly but wants me to take on all debt. I'm willing to settle but I'm not willing to take on all the debt. We never had debt before he started this. It's all for the house and children but since I'm the one that used the credit card and my children are now 18 and up I could be stuck. It's for things like their rent at college, utilities when he was late paying, tuition at college etc. The only thing I can say is it does get better. I'm into this for 16 months and I just want him out of my life for good. His mistress can have him.

Thanks, you guys are great! I am calming down but I really thought I could avoid trial and trail costs ($30,000 initial estimate).

My attorney says it is up to me. He says if you want fair, it will cost you about $30,000. If the emotional cost is too high, let STBX have it all. He has been trying for months to get a meeting with the other side without any success.

My heart is racing but I am calming down and getting it together. I have to watch this happen, as pointed out. I have no control other than to accept a significant financial beating. STBX did enough of the brow beating over the last decade.

when i was going thru that ppart of it, they said trial was about 7-8 thousand dollars a day... it went up to the date of the trial. before she came to an agreement, What i did was listen to my attorney (most the time) and hope for the best, it is a shame the money spent in attorney fees, such a loss...

My stbx had repeatedly over the years said he would leave when I filed, both of us knowing it was over long ago. I kept trying to hide it form everyone for &quot;the sake of the kids&quot; and now here we are 1 year after I filed, me $6K in atty. fees and him asking for continuances every time a court date is scheduled. He's an ostrich. Can I send him to your STBX? Hang in there. Any time you want to vent, I'll listen if you will!

Limits on title length prevented me from indicating a ? at end. I have been a diabetic for 15 years. I have finally become active in controlling it through exe4rcise and diet DUH!. My current obwservation is that it has also had an impact on my mental status. I am experiencing something like a combination of both anxoety and depression. Starting to believe the holostic approach to mental health...

I'm not sure if it's different in every state but I live in NJ. Does social sercuity take your money away or limited your benefits if you go to Hospice?

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