Dealing with Strong Emotions

Use the Friend magazine to help your family understand a different sensitive topic each month.

Anger, anxiety, fear—children often need help understanding and dealing with strong emotions. For example, when children express anger, they may actually be feeling afraid or hungry or have some other unmet need. We can help our children understand that difficult feelings are not wrong or bad. While strong feelings are normal, sometimes they also give clues to help us identify problems that we can help children resolve.

You can use stories from this month’s Friend and the May 2017 Friend to help your children understand and deal with some of their difficult emotions.

Matthew is angry when his brother Peter breaks his model dinosaur. But Matthew chooses to calm down and apologize to Peter, and their relationship grows stronger. You could use this story to help your children learn how to handle conflict and upset feelings.

Ella’s worries won’t go away. She talks to her dad, and they take the first step toward helping Ella cope with her worries. Can your kids relate to Ella’s feelings? After reading about Ella, read “Worried or Afraid?” for some tips for handling worries and fears.

Talking Points

Talk about what helps your child feel calm, and make a “calm-down plan” ahead of time. This could include taking deep breaths, asking for help, or finding a quiet place.

When children are angry or upset, try to empathize and let your children know they’re heard. Try to stay calm, even if they aren’t.

When children are anxious, help them name their feelings. Try, “You look like you might be feeling scared. Can you tell me how you’re feeling right now?” Reassure them that you are there, that they are safe, and that their anxious feelings will pass.

If your child is angry, teach correct behavior without punishing for strong emotions. Try, “You don’t have to be happy, but we don’t hit.”