If VSFS models were made into Barbies...

Julie Sprankles is a freelance writer living in the storied city of Charleston, SC. When she isn't slinging sass for SheKnows, she enjoys watching campy SyFy creature features (Pirahnaconda, anyone?), trolling the internet for dance work...

Men might become Mattel aficionados

Since Victoria's Secret models already flaunt figures akin to Barbie, we lightheartedly consider what it might be like if a few VSFS catwalkers were imagined by Mattel into a limited-edition line inspired by the show.

Smells Like Teen Spirit Barbie

This angsty Barbie comes complete with overprocessed-but-underwashed hair, a collection of '90s grunge-rock CDs, extra ultra-black eyeliner pencils and a sense of righteous indignation against "the man." Available with or without certificate of emancipation from parents. BFF Taylor Momsen Barbie and matching garage band mates sold separately.

What Happens in Vegas Barbie

This jet-lagged Barbie is only sold in airport gift shops and souvenir stores along the Strip. She comes with oversize black sunglasses, aspirin, a Venti triple-shot Starbucks to go and a few stray poker chips from a round of blackjack she doesn't remember playing. Available as part of a set that includes Elvis Impersonator Todd and Soon-to-be-Annulled Ken.

Equestri-S&M Barbie

This dominant doll prefers you not look her in the eye. She is available with optional kit including leather, latex, handcuffs, chains and hot wax. Her ensemble includes coordinating riding boots and crop. If you purchase Submissive Ken in conjunction, you get a free copy of Fifty Shades of Grey.

Generation Z Barbie

This fresh-faced Barbie is available with a smartphone and optional tablet — both outfitted with every social media app available. Built-in pull cords ensure the devices are never further than arm's reach from this over-sharing status updater, who also comes with a complete vocabulary of internet acronyms and an inexplicable sense of entitlement.

Office Christmas Party Barbie

A holiday collector's item, this yuletide Barbie will show up to your company Christmas party dressed as naughty St. Nick and sing a boozy rendition of Madonna's "Santa Baby." She comes equipped with pull-string voice box which, in addition to singing, suggestively exclaims, "Ho, ho, ho!" and activates exaggerated winking mechanism. Available only during the month of December.