Group of kids cheat death at the race track - death comes back to collect - two fold.

THE LOWDOWN

James Wong and David Ellis have been playing evil musical chairs with the FINAL DESTINATION franchise for a bit now (Can I join in?). Wong did the somber and chilling Part 1, Ellis did the brash and loud Part 2, Wong then came back and shat out the inferior Part 3 and now its Ellis’ turn for another shotgun blast at Death. The dealio? Read on!

I had high hopes for FINAL DESTINATION 4 (or THE FINAL DESTINATION as they call it – stupid title), just cause David Ellis was at the helm – the shit that dude pulled off in Part 2 blew my nuts to dust in the wind. That opening highway, car mash-up is one of the best motor vehicle accidents ever put to celluloid in my opinion. Alas FD4 never measured up to Ellis’ last dance with Death. Now don’t get me wrong, this fourth installment was fairly harmless and made for an easy time waster. The pacing was quick clipped, the "f*ck yeah inducing" deaths were inventive, over the top, grisly as f*ck and mean spirited (that bit with the tire OWNED me) and the bleak sense of humor that arose now and again rubbed me the right way. Moreover I saw this f*cko in 3D and yes that did jack up my enjoyment factor. I’m not talking MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D fun times here, the film wasn’t as clever or consistent as the latter in terms of using the 3D gimmick for maximum horror whoopass; but it had its “shite flying at ya and making ya wince” slick moments. With that on the table; sue me and nail my lawyer in the poop-shoot, I STILL expected more than the basics from this one…

Where the f*ck did the story go???? Like really? Where did it go??? Out to lunch with Hollywood's integrity? Part 1 and Part 2 had a story that went beyond the set up. Shit, they even had random characters that actually felt like people instead of full on paper-cut outs with the words DENSE and VICTIM stamped on their foreheads. WHAT HAPPENED? When did this franchise get so damn lazy (oh yeah at Part 3 that’s where)? Part 4 makes your bottom of the barrel slasher fare look like high IQ cinema and taking into account its roots (Part 1 and 2) that’s a damn shame. It takes more than a tacky “lead has premonitions of how folks will die” schtick to fill out a narrative. Well to me it does anyways. And it didn’t end there: the sometimes barf inducing dialogue, shoddy characterization and dumb character moves (one lead character died and his buds never acknowledged that he's "gone"…uh?) also stank up the joint. Come on man! Finally, the casting went from bang on (Nick Zano was a blast as the poon hunting a-hole), to uneven (Bobby Campo wasn’t always credible but to his defense he had the worse lines) to just plain bland (most of the chick roles didn’t come out winners). Am I the only one that misses name talent in his franchise? Bring Ali Larter and Dewon Sawa back already! Shite I’ll even take the great Tony Todd in his admittedly useless role again! The whole teen actor of the week thing in this series is getting older than my drivel. I know they're cheaper than name talent but hey... you get what you pay for man...

Yup, even though I got some cheap kicks out of this one, I still hope it IS the LAST Final Destination. They’re obviously out of gas and are now just aiming for the minimum: basic premise – groovy deaths – everything else...who cares. If there’s a Part 5... I say slap it Straight to DVD... unfortunately that’s where this franchise belongs now. Check and the waitress' ass please! I'm out!

GORE

I was entertaining giving away the kills here and I figured I shouldn’t being that they are pretty much the ONLY reason to see this lethargic sequel. But mark my words; it gets UBER UGLY here, with folks crushed, dismembered, burned alive, impaled and much, MUCH more! A hoot!

T & A

We get a tit shot (fake tits…so meh on my end) and lots of bikini loving (in 3D no less... try to grab some ass... I did). The ladies get Nick Zano shirtless. UPDATE: Got an e-mail from somebody close to the production telling me that the main tit shot was all about real bouncies - hence I stand corrected - them puppies were genuine Ts. God bless...

BOTTOM LINE

FD4 was granted lots of fun, but also a tad too dumb and half cocked for this jack-twat. It takes more than a proven initial premise and a 3D gimmick to make a solid horror sequel. I hear a story that goes beyond its initial premise, characters you can root for and dialogue that doesn’t make your butt bleed also helps. I guess the makers of FD4 didn’t get that memo. Part 4 is a shadow of what Part 1 and 2 were and it makes Part 3 look like a full film. On the flip side, thankfully Ellis didn’t hold back with the party favors! The crazy kills were a f*cking blast, the blood flowed freely and the whole made for a quickie and okay McWatch. Your call amigos!

BULL'S EYE

Eric Bress who penned FD 2 also wrote this one.

This is the first FD movie that wasn't shot in Vancouver, BC. It was shot in Louisiana, Alabama and FLorida USA

Word has it that this one went through the re-shoot ringer. It showed.