8.31.2012

If
you have recovered from depression after pregnancy and you are a military
spouse then you may qualify to receive $20 for participation in this doctoral
dissertation research project. This study consists of a brief prescreening
phone interview and either an in-person or skype interview reviewing how you
recovered from depression after pregnancy.Your information may be helpful for future military spouses suffering
from postpartum depression and the mental health/medical providers who provide
care for them during their recovery process.

If
you would like to schedule the pre-screening phone call please call Tahney
Gaige, M.A. at

3)Express your
feelings. “I feel rejected and unloved when you don’t include me in your
weekend plans,”or,“It’s very frustrating when I want sex but have to wait for
you to initiate it.”

4)Admit your role
in the problem. “I know that I can make it hard for you to play with the kids
because I sometimes step in and interfere.”

5)Be brief when
defining problems. Do not devote excessive time to describing, rather than
solving, a problem. No need to mention the multiple times one can remember
being hurt and feeling angry. Why questions do not help. “Why do you feel it
necessary to avoid my requests?” This is verbal masturbation.

6)Side-tracking is
useless. Husband: “I’d like you to be nicer to my mother.” Wife: “Since when
are you nice to my family?”

7)Discuss only one
problem area at a time.

8)Don’t make
inferences-only talk about specifics. “I think you’re mad at me because I
criticized your driving,” or, “There’s a lot of anger in you.” Instead offer a
specific, “When you said my dress was too young for me in front of Bill and
Lisa, I felt embarrassed and uncomfortable.”

9)Focus on
solutions and brainstorm together. “How can wesolve this together? It sounds as if we’re
both frustrated and hurt.”

10)Paraphrase: Every
remark should be brief, summarized, and simple.

8.28.2012

Free IEP Evaluation Day for parents of
children with special needs. The event will be held on Saturday, September 22,
2012 in San Diego.

IEP Evaluation Day will provide parents with a free one-on-one consultation
specific to their child's educational needs. This is a
fantastic free opportunity for parents to ask questions they may have regarding
their child's special education program.

8.27.2012

Landlord wants to force out tenant by changing locks

Unilaterally locking out a tenant is never permissible

By Martin Eichner

August 19, 2012

Question: I have
rented a room in my house to a woman and her young daughter. After she
moved in, she changed the lock on the door to her room without my
consent and had male companions in her room who were very noisy and
disruptive. If she continues to make me uncomfortable in my own home,
can I just change the locks to force her to leave? If I can't get rid of
her, can I at least force her to give me a key to her room?

Answer:
Unilaterally locking out a tenant is never legally permissible, no
matter the justification. Under California Civil Code section 789.3, a
landlord who engages in a lockout is liable for damages of $100 for each
day of the lockout.

Generally, the only way to legally remove a
tenant is to prosecute an unlawful detainer case in the local Superior
Court. There is an exception in the case of a single lodger, as defined
in Civil Code section 1946.5. If the tenant qualifies as a single
lodger, you can give her a 30-day written notice of termination. If she
then fails to leave, she is considered a trespasser, subject to removal
by the local police. However, many local police departments will not
enforce this statute, preferring that a landlord use the unlawful
detainer process instead.

In your case, this option is not available because you have two tenants, not a single lodger.

You
do have a right to a key to the room, because you may have a lawful
need to enter; for example, if there were a fire or some other
emergency.

The tenant maintains her right to privacy even though
you have a key: Civil Code section 1954 significantly limits your
ability to enter the room. You cannot enter unless you have one of the
purposes listed in this statute, such as a need to make a repair, and
you must give written notice 24 hours in advance, unless there is a true
emergency or you have the tenant's consent.

If the tenant
continues to refuse to provide a copy of the room key, you should give
her a Three-Day Notice to Perform Covenant or Quit, specifying that
performance requires giving you a key. If she doesn't give you a key
within the three days covered by the notice, you can then file an
unlawful detainer action to evict her.

Eichner is director of
Housing Counseling Programs for Project Sentinel, a nonprofit agency
providing tenant-landlord and fair housing counseling in four Bay Area
counties. Send questions to info@housing.org

8.26.2012

The CDP has been happy to partner with the Marriage
and Family Counseling Collaborative (MFCC) by hosting their information
and material while they worked to create their permanent site. We're
pleased to announce that the MFCC has transitioned into the Alliance of
Military & Veteran Family Behavioral Health Providers and that their
new Web site is live and located at http://www.ecu.edu/che/alliance/. We at the CDP look forward to continuing to work with the Alliance in the future!
The Marriage and Family Counseling Collaborative (MFCC) is a
partnership group designed to inform, educate, and support providers who
work with military Service members and their families.
The following resource guides were developed by the MFCC. The Center
for Deployment Psychology (CDP) makes no claims, promises, or
guarantees about the accuracy, completeness, or adequacy of the contents
of these resource guides.Domestic Violence Resource GuideFamily Support Resource GuideHealthcare Provider Resource GuideContinuing Education Resource Guide
If you are interested in joining the MFCC please "click here"
to complete a brief registration form. There is no cost to join and
the MFCC will keep you informed of updates to the content of this
Resources webpage and on the latest issues related to caring for
military families.
The MFCC is a separate entity from the CDP and questions regarding the MFCC should be directed to CDR Brenda Gearhart at brenda.l.gearhart@amedd.army.mil.

3)Express your
feelings. “I feel rejected and unloved when you don’t include me in your
weekend plans,”or,“It’s very frustrating when I want sex but have to wait for
you to initiate it.”

4)Admit your role
in the problem. “I know that I can make it hard for you to play with the kids
because I sometimes step in and interfere.”

5)Be brief when
defining problems. Do not devote excessive time to describing, rather than
solving, a problem. No need to mention the multiple times one can remember
being hurt and feeling angry. Why questions do not help. “Why do you feel it
necessary to avoid my requests?” This is verbal masturbation.

6)Side-tracking is
useless. Husband: “I’d like you to be nicer to my mother.” Wife: “Since when
are you nice to my family?”

7)Discuss only one
problem area at a time.

8)Don’t make
inferences-only talk about specifics. “I think you’re mad at me because I
criticized your driving,” or, “There’s a lot of anger in you.” Instead offer a
specific, “When you said my dress was too young for me in front of Bill and
Lisa, I felt embarrassed and uncomfortable.”

9)Focus on
solutions and brainstorm together. “How can wesolve this together? It sounds as if we’re
both frustrated and hurt.”

8.23.2012

Tips for establishing a credit history

Building a credit score is harder than it used to be. The National Foundation for Credit Counseling offers some advice.

The credit score algorithm likes to see different kinds of accounts.
(Nick Ut, AP / September 5, 2007)

By Scott J. Wilson, Los Angeles Times

August 19, 2012

Establishing a credit history
is harder than it used to be — lenders are being extra cautious with
new applicants. If you're applying for credit for the first time, here
are some tips from the National Foundation for Credit Counseling:Start slowly.
"Applying for too much credit at once can send the wrong signal to the
lender, making it appear that you are desperate for credit," said the
NFCC. Also, too many applications for credit cards can hurt your credit
score.Co-signer. If you have been denied credit, see if a
parent or other relative will come aboard as a co-signer. Just remember,
if you don't make payments on time, you can damage the co-signer's
credit as well as your own.Three. "You'll need at
least three lines of credit, or else your file will be considered too
thin for the all-important credit score to evaluate," said the NFCC. But
avoid using more than 30% of your available credit.Variety.
The credit score algorithm likes to see different kinds of accounts. So
don't apply just for credit cards — when appropriate, also obtain a
closed-end account, such as a car loan.Secured credit card.
To get this kind of card, you put money in an account with an issuing
bank and get a credit line for the same amount. "Handling this type of
credit responsibly will likely lead to being offered an unsecured card,"
said the NFCC.scott.wilson@latimes.com