Tragic Jokes: Inglorious Bastards, Iranian version

In this year and these days, that are the last days of the Persian year, Iranians are watching a tragicomedy that its name is like Quentin Tarantino’s film, but its content is different from Inglorious Bastards (2009). The Iranian version of Inglorious Bastards is a collection of true stories that are like tragic jokes. Most of these true stories are about the Inglorious Bastards who are among the stupidest bastards in the world history. Let’s take a look at the Iranian version of of Inglorious Bastards, and some of the tragic jokes of this year:

– The western politicians pretend that they are enemy of the Mullahs, while we all know that they didn’t support the anti-Mullah movement in Iran, and they aided the Mullahs in killing and suppressing Iranians. Thousands of high rank Mullahs and their families, including the Mullah embezzlers, live in the US, the UK, Canada, and other western countries who are ‘enemy” of the Mullahs.

– Mr. Stupid Monkey (Obama) that is the worst US president ever, pretends that he wants to solve the nuclear issue. But Iranians know that he just wants to destroy Iran with the help of the Mullahs. They say: “If Obama had wanted to solve the nuclear issue, he would have helped the Iranians and their anti-Mullah movement in 2009, and he would not have aided the Mullahs in killing Iranians”.

– The European bastards pretend that they are not racists or chauvinists. But they deliberately use “Iran” for refereeing to the Mullahs. When Iranians ask them: “Stop keep saying Iran. You should use Mullahs or Iran’s regime, instead of keep saying Iran“, they say: “No, the Mullahs are representative of Iranians. But If instead of using the European politicians, you use Europe for referring to them, you are racists. You, Iranians, are racists or chauvinists”. The European bastards, who still live in the Colonialism Age like their savage ancestors, love telling shameful jokes.

– Mr. Stupid Monkey (Obama) impose new sanctions on the ordinary Iranians who hate the Mullahs, while the Mullah state TV, the Mullah mercenaries, and many high rank Mullahs and their families still live and work in the US.

– The Ashura Traitors, who are paid to betray Iranians and freedom and democracy in Iran, still manage the Iranian opposition media, like Balatarin.com, Roozonline.com, and the Green websites, and the West still support them financially or politically. The western mass media still pretend that they are representative of Iranians inside Iran, while the ordinary people hate them and don’t care about them, who are the main responsible for the current tragic situation in Iran.

– The Islamist-Reformists, that are wolfs in sheep’s clothing, still defend the Mullahs and the Mullah regime. They are really worst than the Mullahs. They defend and justify the tyranny and the savagery in the name of freedom and democracy, but the Mullahs clearly say that they don’t care about freedom and democracy.

– The Ashura Traitors didn’t allow the people to win some concessions from the Mullahs in 2009, and clearly said that the effective non-violent protests, like general strike or staying in the streets, and also the street protests are bad and harmful and Iranians should return to their homes. But recently they called for a new demonstration, and thought the people would care about them.

– Mr. Stupid Donkey (Chomsky) and the stupid left defend the savage dictators, from Gaddafi and Assad to the Mullahs, Hezbollah and Chavez, but the stupid Americans call them “intellectual”. These Americans and their beloved intellectuals defend the savage dictators, but they have a stupid movement called “OWS” and thought they deserve to live in a better world.

– The Pahlavists and the Iranian Monarchists live in LA, California, that means the stupid Iranian Monarchists, who are about 600 thousands, live in the land of republicans and the first republic system of the world. The Iranian Monarchists live in the land of republicans, but defend the Monarchy !

– The Iranian baboons who are stupid mercenaries say: “Iranians don’t deserve to have freedom and democracy, because they hate us (ie. the Islamists, the terrorists, the Monarchists, the mercenaries, and other jerks). But Americans deserve to live in the free world, because 60 millions of Americans still think that the Sun orbits the earth, and the earth is flat. And because some American priests have 80 wives, and some Americans officials still pray for rain, and about 90 million Americans are religious fanatics”.

– The Khatamists still love Khatami, who is worst than Shah Sultan Hossein (1668? – 1726), the stupidest and the weakest king of Persia. Khatami’s stupidities and betrayals in the past 15 years are worst than Shah Sultan Hossein’s, but the Khatamists love both Shah Sultan Hossein and Khatami, because they pretended that they are pacifist, but they and their mistakes destroyed Iran by horrible wars and dreadful violence. The Khatamists who live by betraying the people, are not like Fascists or Nazis, but they are like the worthless mercenaries who helped the Fascists and the Nazis to boost up.

– Shah Sultan Hussein was replaced by Mahmoud Afghan, and Khatami was replaced by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Mahmoud Afghan destroyed Iran and killed tens of thousands of Iranians, but Shah Sultan Hussein loved him and called him “my dear son”. Now Khatami loves the new Mahmoud Afghan and his leader, who destroyed Iran, and killed, raped and tortured tens of thousands of Iranians. Khatami still calls Khamenei “my dear leader”, and the Islamic regime “my beloved regime”.

– The British Bastards, that Iranians call them “Mullah Makers”, pretend that they are enemy of the Mullahs, but in the 2009-2011 period they clearly and repeatedly said that “Death to dictator” chants in Iran mean “death to Mr. shit”, not “death to Khamenei”. They also said nothing about this undeniable fact that Iranians clearly chanted against Khamenei. The British mass media still work with the Iranian baboons and the Ashura traitors, and thousands of high rank Mullahs and their families still live in the UK.

– The Zionists and the fanatic Jews think 15 millions Jews should rule the world. They think the 7,000 millions non-Jews people in the world should be slave of 15 millions Jews. They think the Jewish state, that is smaller than a city like Tehran (Tehran’s population is about 14 million, while the Jewish state’s population is about 8 million), is a superpower.

– The Mullahs said: “We should implement the subsidies cut plan, because the prices in Iran are 4 to 10 times less than the prices in the West. If we implement the subsidies cut plan in Iran, the old problems of the public transports and other public facilities, like health care, insurance, etc would have been resolved”. But as you know, the incomes in Iran are 4 to 10 times less than the incomes in the West, and the subsidies cut plan not only didn’t solve the old problems of the public transports and other public facilities, like health care, insurance, but it created new problems. Now, the majority of Iranians live around the poverty line

– The Iranian Monarchists who are the dumbest Iranians in the world have a main supporter: USA that has the first republic and anti-Monarchy system in the world. The funny Iranians say: “If the American jerks love the Monarchy, why they have a republic system? We recommend them that they change their system, and appoint George Bush as the first American King in the US. Today’s USA has more Monarchists than today’s Iran”.

– The American bastards support the Mullahs, the Monarchists, the terrorist (MKO/ PMOI) and other reactionary Iranian groups, because they still think that Iran should not be free and democratic, and a free and independent Iran is not in their national interests. They support the dictatorship in Iran, and believe the religious tyranny (like the Mullah regime) or the secular tyranny (like the Pahlavi regime) are the best regimes, of course not for Iranians, but for the American bastards.

– The Zionists and the fanatic Jews have horrible delusions about themselves, and think the US really cares about them because the 15 millions Jews are more important and more powerful than the 7,000 millions non-Jews people in the world. They pretend ignorance that the Jews are a very very small minority in the World, and the US fanatics only play with them, and use them as a tool for accelerating the arrival of the End of the times

– The Western bastards always support the Iranian dictators. If an Iranian puppet dictator tries to be independent, they topple him and replace him with another dictator. It’s what they did in 1925 and 1979. They also defend the Iranian savage dictators by any means. It’s what they did in 1953 and 2009. They have just one goal: “Iran should not be a free and democratic country”. They know that “democracy in Iran and other countries leads to independence”, and it’s not acceptable for them, who still live like their savage ancestors in the Colonialism Age.

– The Zionists and the fanatic Jews pretend ignorance that the Europeans and Americans and their fanatics have killed millions of Jews since 1000 years ago. Some Iranians say: “Who created the Holocaust? Who thought the Jews should be punished because they have killed Jesus Christ? Who forced the Jews to live in the dirty ghettos, imposed segregation on them, and killed millions of them in the past centuries? Who want to annihilate the Jews? The nation who has supported the Jews since 3000 years ago, or the nations who have killed and tortured millions of Jews in the past 1000 years and think the Jews have killed Jesus Christ?”

– The Mullahs and Mr. shit had many economic miracles. In the recent years, the interest rate decreased to less than 10%, but the inflation rate increased to more than 50%. It created the widespread corruption and the largest embezzlements in Iran’s history. But the American bastards and their media said: “Iranians love Mr. shit and the Mullahs, because they are not like us. They love the inflation rate of 50% and those who have created the economic crisis”.

– The Mullahs state TV and some non-Iranian media reported: “The depression and the suicide are very serious problems in the World. Do you know which group of people and which group of professionals have the highest rate of suicide? The shrinks (the psychologists)”.

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This entry was posted on Monday, March 12th, 2012 at 7:55 pm and is filed under Humor and Satire. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
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