Jason Howard Green

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Please check out the above video. It is an interesting conversation happening on the view. Apparently Joy Behar, one of the panelist from the view, did an interview with Dan Savage. According to Savage, gay men are not capable of monagamy. After Joy shares this with her co-stars the entire panel goes into this heated debate about whether gay men are capable of monagamy or even appreciate the institution of long-term one-partner relationships. I found it interesting hearing this conversation coming from four straight women.

For once I actually have to agree with Elisabeth Hasselbeck (and I cringe when I say that because I never agree with her). Hasselbeck is the only person that pointed out that you can not generalize or make blanket statements like this for an entire community. You can only look at specific individuals and hold them accountable for their action, but the actions of the few do not define the entire group. So for once I can finally say, "way to go Elisabeth."

That being said I still have to wonder why so many of my friends remain single. As I take an objective look at the population of gay men I know I see this weird dichotomy. There is currently this overwhelming demand for gay marriage. Many LGBT individuals are protesting, marching, writing and even candlelight vigiling to be able to enter into this legally binding and universally recognized partnership. But simultaneously it seems that very few gay men are actually able to enter into relationships that last long term. And though I know many men that claim to want the LTR, for some reason it remains that unrecognizable, unattainable, mystical thing that gay men talk about but are never able to see.

Are long term relationships the unicorn of the LGBT community? Are gay men capable of monogamy?

Gay men and women are just as capable of being monogamous as heterosexuals, the kink in the theory that we can't is the loud vocal ones who don't want it, and, the right wingers and liberals who think to be gay is only about sex with as many partners as possible, to which I cast both aside as I've been a long term relationship for years. One of the reasons I have found friendds to be single is that many have a mythical man they want and would rather be alone than not have said man, which to me is just silly.

The thing that makes me cringe is Dan Savage and anything he speaks about on gay issues, be they sex or race related.

Just Me . . .

About Me

Black and gay. Geek and Greek (Phi Beta Sigma). Spirtual but not judgemental. Optimist but a realist. Writer and activist. I am the author of The ABCs of Coming Out. Also I am the founder of UGIMA (United Gay Informed Men of African-descent).