There's not much to see on the Microsoft campus for nonemployees, apart from a few basketball courts, soccer fields, and tourist photo opportunities. That's me being a tourist, by the way.

Matt Weinberger/Business Insider

But there's one building you can get inside: the Microsoft Visitor Center. It's guarded by Master Chief and Spartan Locke, the heroes of Microsoft's 'Halo 5: Guardians.' They don't look happy to see me.

Matt Weinberger/Business Insider

The Visitor Center holds a tiny museum dedicated to Microsoft's long history ...

Matt Weinberger/Business Insider

... plus some stations where you can mess around with Microsoft's games and technology. Somehow, every kid in the joint had figured out how to get Minecraft running on all of the demo computers sitting around.

Matt Weinberger/Business Insider

But the best part is probably the Microsoft Company Store, which is the only place to get a lot of exclusive Microsoft-branded merchandise.

That means T-shirts, like this kind of poorly advised NWA tribute ...

Matt Weinberger/Business Insider

... mugs, like this kind of cool Xbox One controller design ...

Matt Weinberger/Business Insider

... and other kinds of apparel and accessories.

Matt Weinberger/Business Insider

Seriously, there's a lot here. Check out these Microsoft-branded sports jerseys for kids and adults.

Matt Weinberger/Business Insider

Or these Xbox flip-flops.

Matt Weinberger/Business Insider

Some of it's weird, like these plastic 'Genius Juice' flasks. I don't know what it's like in Washington, but I feel as if I'd get in trouble just for having one of these in San Francisco.

Matt Weinberger/Business Insider

Some of it's cute, like this Microsoft teddy bear I got for my mom. (Hey, mom, if you're reading this: surprise!)

Matt Weinberger/Business Insider

There's a healthy selection of Minecraft stuff, but not much more than you can get at your local Target.

Matt Weinberger/Business Insider

There's other stuff for kids, though.

Matt Weinberger/Business Insider

And some stuff for babies.

Matt Weinberger/Business Insider

You can also get these torso-sized Xbox One controller pillows. I would have absolutely bought one of these if I then didn't have to worry about getting it home.

Matt Weinberger/Business Insider

There's also a selection of Halo-themed stuff, including backpacks, headsets, action figures, and other accessories.

Matt Weinberger/Business Insider

There are also Bing polo shirts, if a Bing polo shirt is what you desire.

Matt Weinberger/Business Insider

Indeed, some of the T-shirts seem to have pretty niche appeal. Remember that these are for Microsoft employees as much as they are for tourists like myself — it's the company store, after all.

Matt Weinberger/Business Insider

And some of them are clearly aimed at IT departments. I got this one for my dad.

Matt Weinberger/Business Insider

There's a whole line of merch based on Microsoft Office puns. Like this one ...

Matt Weinberger/Business Insider

... and this one. There's also one that says 'Simply Excel.' Get it? Do you? Do you get it?

Matt Weinberger/Business Insider

There's also an employee side of the store where you need to have a Microsoft company badge just to get in. But if you make it, there are steep discounts of as much as 75% for Microsoft-made software and hardware.

On a final note, I can't believe more people didn't want these Windows Phone magnets. Oh well.