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Tighter than a Jay Cutler spiral, we're laying this month's best from all over Thrillist Nation directly into your otherwise clumsy hands.

Emailed to Nation:This or That: Miss Universe Edition
Nothing reveals a person's character better than a series of the near-impossible decisions. To wit, coming straight to you from the sun-soaked Bahamas are the innermost revelations of the 2009 Miss Universe contestants; your only tough decision is how many times to read this.
Bask in the wisdom of the world's finest ladiesEmailed to Dallas:Lamebook
Unleashed by two Austin graphic designers, Lame's a regularly updated aggregation of tragic Facebook content -- status updates, pics, fan pages, profiles, etc -- presented in the same style as its source, all made possible by the fact that privacy protections are really, really confusing.
Delve into the lamest denizens of the webz, which is saying something

Emailed to New York:Upper Echelon Shoes
Avail in all-white, maroon/gold, and olive/off white, UES's latest hi-top contrasts a perforated leather body/tongue with a solid leather heel and detailing; the shoe comes with two sets of laces, one standard, one a gold plated chain, foot bling that'll have everyone convinced you're down with OPP: other peoples plantars!
Get your kicks on, you know you want to

Emailed to Los Angeles:Cremo Cream
Cremo's a uniquely dense, uber-effective shaving cream that's the result of a year-long development process, and the brainchild of two unlikely Santa Monica buddies -- one, an ex-male model, the other, the inventor of the dry erase board, so you have him to thank for telling your college roommate that his mom called, plus you're totally doing her, so he shouldn't come in.
Treat your poor downtrodden face to something special