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ATTENTION IPAD USERS!Apple doesn't like listing me as "Will Shakespeare (poetry blogger)"to differentiate me from the other guy, although everybody else does.They took my first book but now won't take new ones. (Go figure.)Since Smashwords distributes my books to Apple anyway, just go to my Smashwords author page and download EPUBs from there.Smashwords provides samples of my books also.

Monday, December 3, 2012

I’ve Got a Driver

Inspired by the Beatles’ song Drive My CarAnd some televised golf tournaments.

My caddie said, “You should listen to me:
I’ve done this job for a decade or three.
The fairway’s narrow and there’s too many trees;
I know what you’re thinking, but won’t you please
Leave that big stick in the bag –
Yeah, I know my plan’s a drag –
But leave that big stick in the bag,
You’ll hit the ball better.”

I ought to listen; my friends say he’s good.
If he says “Hit an iron,” I know that I should.
There’s water short of the green if I dare…
But I’ve got a driver. I could get it there!
He says, “Leave that big stick in the bag –
Yeah, I know my plan’s a drag –
But leave that big stick in the bag,
You’ll hit the ball better.”

I disregarded my caddie’s advice,
Took out the driver and I hit a big slice.
My ball’s in the water, my score’s in the tank…
And I’ve got a driver and myself to thank.
Took that big stick from the bag –
Didn’t want to be a drag –
Took that big stick from the bag
And hit the ball badder…
Uh-oh, splish-splash, no
Uh-oh, splish-splash, no
Uh-oh, splish-splash, no

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Resident Bard

Will Shakespeare claims to be a formerly famous but now unemployed poet and playwright—a result of the poor economic climate which drove his beloved Globe Theater into bankruptcy. Shortly thereafter he moved from Stratford-on-Avon to North Carolina, where he reinvented himself as a Web poet and is attempting to resurrect his career. He’ll try almost any type of writing, funny or serious, as long as it’s in verse!