It's really sad saying goodbye officially to the old house -- walking into the empty, stuffy house, with nothing left in it but old sofas and built in furniture. Obviously I don't remember moving into that house 18 years ago but it's going to be weird to not live there anymore. Everytime I enter my old, pink, girly room I feel like the little kid I used to be, there are too many memories surrounding that place. So moving away is a good thing too.

Brandon has grown into one of the cutest babies ever! He's walking and kind of talking now and it's absolutely adorable.

Brandon doing one of his favourite things -- driving. Pay attention to the road!

Anyway, some pictures from Wazir's birthday -- it was really fun! It was his first birthday since his mum and brother moved back to KL so I finally got to meet his mum -- kind of funny, after us being together for close to 4 years already. We had dinner with my family and drinks after with his. Dear, I'm so glad that everything has been going so well, and that you are considered a part of this family.

As much as I love being home, I do miss my Melbourne family. Lynn, I hope you're having fun in Korea (hehe winter!!), and LY, happy working! Hahaha.. Miss you guys! Honestly, I'm not really looking forward to going back to Melb in Feb, but thanks to you guys life there is so much more fun. Good housemates really do make a difference. :)

LY, me and Lynn. Sometime early in the year.

The most ever (and only) emo picture of us. So emo that it would make LY proud.

Wow getting online has been particularly difficult lately. I hardly get to use internet at mum's as everytime I'm home my laptop is held hostage -- everyone wants to watch videos off my laptop. -.- Dad's place doesn't have a phone line installed yet so we're making do with maxis wireless broadband. That makes 4 computers and one wireless modem. You do the math.

I need to start my Christmas shopping. Dad doesn't celebrate Christmas, but it's his birthday so he gets a gift. And since it's Christmas, I buy gifts for his side of the family too. Mum is really into the whole Christmas thing -- we put up a tree, line the gifts under it, make Christmas wishlists.. It's fun and stressful! I have yet to buy anyone anything -- I desperately need to go shopping.

Last week I was at my dad's all week, it was totally tiring. He moved houses a couple of months ago but there was still a lot of things to be moved from my old room -- apparently even though I'm not around they waited for me to get back and do it myself -.-. Looking through all my old things I felt a strong sense of nostalgia. I never quite understood how spoiled I was when I was a kid, til I saw how many toys I had. So many giant boxes full of random toys, storybooks and magazines. I think there were nearly 10 huge ass boxes or so of just my stuff, and my room really isn't that big! Plus as you all know I'm a total sucker for hoarding things, so you can imagine how much shit I had held on to all these years. Suffice to say, Brandon will not be needing to buy any new toys or storybooks for the next like, 5 years? Damn I was some spoiled kid.

It's funny cos when mum moved out of our old house I took a lot of only present-day stuff, but I left behind so many things from my past; in my pink and white kiddy bedroom that I'd lived in since I was like 4? Everytime I went back to my dad's it was like I was little me again, surrounded by my bubblegum furniture, stuffed toys, childrens' books and other random toys. It was sad throwing and donating so much of it away but it was liberating in a sense. I'd held on to so many things for no reason -- simply because I'm sentimental, but so many of my things had aged without me even realizing it. My toys were all stained, my books yellow.. I'd even held on to my exercise books from my nursery days. I had flashcards from when I learned to read, books from when I learned to write; it was amazing. But it's all mostly gone now anyway. Time to move on.

I received my results for the recent semester online on Monday; and while I am satisfied, a part of me can't help but be disappointed. My grades were maintained but were more borderline this time. Oh well. It's still alright and I'm really thankful for that. I was so mentally exhausted this semester.

Long (and embarrassing) story short, I kind of fell and hurt my back on Thursday night. And my flight was Friday afternoon. -.- It was so bad that I couldn't move/get up for more than an hour -- confined to my bed, with Nick and Loy Yang at my beck and call (for which I am totally grateful; thank you so much guys).

Got really worried so the following morning we woke up early and they took me to the RMIT doc, who informed me that it was basically just a muscle spasm thing and that I should be alright given time and care, but he gave me painkillers and some other meds since I was travelling.

So yea. Thought it would be alright, but I really wasn't able to lift any luggage whatsoever, so again the two guys, plus my neighbour Jack helped to drag all my luggage down the stairs; but I was worried about lugging the bags around in the airport too -- I couldn't even lift the bags onto a trolley on my own! Luckily I met this girl Siew Ching on the shuttle on the way to the airport, and she happened to be on the same flight; what a coincidence right? So we queued to check in together (the line was horribly looong but we met this nice uncle who invited us to queue with him, which I felt horrible about, but the line was really really really long!).

Anyway. Checking in was alright, although SC's bag was horribly overweight so she stuffed some things in my bag; and I felt really bad for having her to help me with my bags throughout the whole journey. -.- I hate feeling helpless but at that moment I really couldn't do it on my own. But on the bright side, I made a new friend!! I guess things happen for a reason, when you least expect it. Anyways my back is much better now -- it still aches but I can get around and do stuff fine now. :)

So. Being home has been great, but to be honest, pretty boring. I really don't have that many friends left in KL -- everyone's in Australia, UK, or somewhere else in the world! :P And the friends that I do have here are all working; so this leaves me super busy on weekends and super jobless on weekdays. I've really been bumming around and cleaning the house; maybe I will get a part time job soon. The fact that to get around in KL I'd need a car is also a factor, since I don't have a car anymore; so for now I am confined to my house and err Plaza Mont'Kiara and Desa Sri Hartamas. When it's not raining -.-. The rain has been a huge damper really. It's been raining like crazyyyyy, I haven't seen rain this heavy in ages, lol!

It felt good unpacking my bags -- taking every single thing out and putting things back into my closet; when I came back for winter break it was only for 2+ weeks so I didn't unpack properly. But now that I will be back for 3+ months, I could unpack and settle back in, and it feels good. It was nice to see my dad's new house too -- things look really good, there is so much more space for the ever expanding family. Mum might be moving soon too, and I went to the showhouse and the place looks great too. So much has changed since I've been away, I don't know where to begin.

Brynna has been away diving in Bali all week, so she's the only one I haven't seen yet.. And she gets back tonight!! :) Excitedness. She is going to yak my ear off, but it's ok. I haven't had to deal with her all year already, lol! Brandon is huge now, he's so much more active and friendly. I haven't had much time with him yet because my dad is away and again, I don't have a car to go visit whenever I like. It was great to see mum, dad, Wazir and Ah Yi again.. :) I've missed home.

Internet is super slow here!!!! I am 3 days behind on my downloads, since it takes like an hour to 3 hours to download a 40 min show in Melb, whilst it takes a day or two here. :( Sob sob. Hurry up Heroes! Prison Break! How I Met Your Mother! Desperate Housewives! So that I can start downloading Gossip Girl..... Wtf I am so addicted but it totally keeps me sane.

Wow super long post. Oh.. It turns out that my old phone number, the one that I've been using before I left for Melbourne, has not expired, so if you all still have that number, call me on that. Or msn/facebook me, really.

Oh yes, and good luck to all those still in Australia, having exams. :)

I was working on one of my final models on Monday, and was cutting some cardboard on the floor; whilst referring to my autocad drawing on the laptop. I had just cut a long strip of board when I realized that the cord of my mouse was under it and I'd sliced it in half. -.- Dumb arse.

I am done with classes for this year! I just had my last studio tutorial yesterday and am on my own til the final critique next Friday. So.. I'm going to be at home all week just getting stuff done. Meh. Wish me luck!

I had a relatively good weekend; went to Essendon DFO and bought some gifts to take home. Lol, I've got a month to go but am already buying things! Talk about being desperately excited! But yes, one month to go is pretty soon.

Dammit internet, roll over so I can start downloading. I've been depriving myself of downloads for the past week due to low internet quota. -.-

5 days til the peer review for digital video.10 days til the history essay is due.12 days til the final review for digital video.26 days til my final presentation for studio.33 days til the portfolio is due.38 days til I go home.

I am getting horribly bad at maintaining this blog. But honestly, what is there to write?

Dear all, today I woke up at noon and cooked lunch. Then I spent 4 hours sitting on the floor, working on my model; that by the time I was done my back ached. Then I helped to cook dinner/set the table and after dinner I spent 5 hours talking to Wazir before I slept.

-.- Damn lame right? But really. Life at the moment is rather meh -- but I try to get by everyday by just telling myself that I'm here to study, and my coursework comes first.. And my final presentation is in just a month!! [I don't know whether to be happy it'll be over soon or panic because it's too soon and there's lots of work ahead of me this month. -.-]

I had a one week break this week but it's nearly over, and I got a reasonable amount of work done. Hasn't been that much fun though. -.- Oh wells. Oh but I managed to do some shopping and also meet up with Sabrina. :)

And so I shall supplement this otherwise boring post with a couple of rather recent pictures.

It feels good to be able to download new tv series. My nights were getting boring. :) With Gilmore Girls and Veronica Mars cancelled, this brings my weekly shows down to 1012: Heroes, How I Met Your Mother, Prison Break, House, Gossip Girl, Grey's Anatomy, My Name is Earl, Ugly Betty, American Dad, Brothers & Sisters, Desperate Housewives, and Family Guy. Shit. I'm more addicted than I thought I was. 0.0

This week has been so blah. Everyone's on holiday for 2 weeks now but RMIT's holiday starts only next week, and lasts for only 1 week. -.- I'm exhausted. Been working on the same projects continuously since the semester began.. So sien.

Funny thing happened yesterday -- I woke up at 9.09am, then fell back asleep. Well normally it wouldn't be weird but considering that it was the 9th of September; I woke up at 9.09am on 09/09. :)

My flatmates, neighbours and friends threw me an awesome party on the eve of my birthday! I was under the impression that we were just having our usual weekly dinners with our usual bunch of friends, but I knew that there would be a cake too; since Loy Yang asked me what cake I wanted a week ago, lol. I thought it was going to be a fairly casual thing anyways, so when they all said that we were going to the nearby park to hang out, I didn't expect a cake; and a massive foodfight!! I won't go into specifics now, but I'll put up pictures later when I get them.

Plus there was a cheesecake waiting back at the house when we were done. It was pretty awesome. The food fight carried on and the house was left in quite a mess. -.- Lol. Thanks everyone, for coming, planning, and everything. :) And to Lynn, Loy Yang, Lohon (Wah so many Ls) and Jack for the lovely gifts. I feel special. :) I love you all muches.

The rest of my birthday was spent at one of my favourite places -- DFO. Lol. I went shopping alone, for some me time, since everyone was busy studying for exams anyway. It's nice to have a good reason to buy myself stuff. :)

And I spent all night talking to my dearest Wazir. <33

Anyways, thanks everyone for all the lovely wishes. I didn't think that I'd be getting that many wishes this year, because I'm in Australia now -- new address, new phone number -- it's hard to keep in touch. But Facebook and Friendster does really help in that sense. :)

1. I am a stressball. It just hit me today. I've been keeping myself so calm for the first 8 weeks of this semester and today I suddenly feel overwhelmed. I feel like crying.

2. ID Updates ::♥ Mid semester for design studio was Tuesday. My group didn't win the competition, although I am told we were close. We are now to design and detail the winning group's masterplan. No more groupwork; all individual work now. :(♥ Digital video is getting tougher. Have to come up with a concept that concerns interior design/architectural concerns/ideas and start filming.♥ History/Theory class is time consuming as usual. Reading excerpts, model making, and essay writing. The essay worries me.

3. I seem to have a knack for losing track of dates and wishing people happy birthday a day late. -.- I feel like a horrible friend.

4. I just got voIP installed. Now I have a local Malaysian landline phone number that you can call from Malaysia for local Telekom rates. If anyone wants the number, let me know.

5. It is spring now, here in Melbourne.

6. I am nearly 20. Come this Sunday I am no more a teenager. I'm sad that I won't be able to celebrate with the usual dinner with mum, sis, boyf, grandma, aunt & Jakob; and the separate lunch/dinner with dad, sis, Ah Yi and Brandon. :( But I have new friends here to celebrate with. :) [Well, when mum was here we went out for dinner on her birthday and had champagne and toasted to both our birthdays. :) Double celebration.]

No, I did not go for any celebrations this year, simply because I think it's just weird to celebrate and count down Merdeka by going clubbing and drinking the night away; and I didn't go for any of those Malaysian society organized dinners because my mum was in Melbourne and we went out for a nice quiet dinner together.

But I do miss the fireworks and counting down. Last year's Merdeka was pretty special to me -- barbequing at Cenfad, watching the KLCC fireworks from the ramp, and singing Negaraku at midnight; with some great friends. It was brilliant. Oh, how I miss home.

Mum has just left for the airport; we had a great week together, and now I'm left feeling a little bit empty, with a gap to fill, but I know I will get over it soon. Everytime she comes it gets easier to say goodbye, and I know I'm lucky enough to even have her here. We went out for a nice dinner on Wednesday to celebrate her birthday. :) And my upcoming birthday too. Hehe.

Mid semester presentations/assignments are all happening/due this week and next week, and so far everything's been going rather smoothly. I think I've been planning my time much better now. Or maybe it's because so far I've had quite a number of group work, so I have to push myself to get the work done so I don't compromise the entire group too.

I haven't been online in a week; I have so much downloading and random surfing to do!! Hehe. The internet in the hotel was extremely expensive, it was so ridiculous. What rubbish. I think it was like 28 dollars for like just a couple of hours or less.. I can't remember. But it was ridiculous.

And so, now it is time to go back to life once more -- throwing myself back into my course work. Cooking and cleaning. Chatting with mum and dad over the phone. Skyping with Wazir. I might give myself a break tonight, seeing as it's already 10.30pm. I seem to have this limit, where I can only do work until late evening or so, then after that my brain just shuts off and tells me it's time to rest. So I always finish my work by evening. I don't see how some people can do work all night and not sleep -- I guess it's just not the way I work. I always plan ahead because last minute work scares me -- I need a backup plan just in case anything goes wrong. I'm super paranoid, heh.

I'm finally back on track -- last weekend I sat down and finally finished off the assignments from week 1 and week 2 that I missed when I was still in KL. So now I'm pretty much at where I should be and I'm feeling pretty accomplished. Next week is week 7, or mid semester, so it feels good to get everything under control. I've been back in Melbourne for a month now, but it feels like so much longer. November 14 come quick! :)

I happened to view this page on Internet Explorer a few days ago and it looks fine apart from the fact that there are no breaks in my paragraphs as there are in Firefox. -.-

Just 1900 words to go for my history essay! Blergh.

My mum is coming again this Sunday. I know, I know. You guys are probably thinking I'm such a spoiled brat - I came to Melbourne in February, my mum visited in April, dad in May, mum again in June, I went back in July and now it's August and mum will be here again. But really, all of mum's visits have been business trips. I'm just a lucky girl. :)

Video shooting turned out to be incredibly fun! The objective was to find a site and give it a new angle; a new feel. Explore the site.

So we found this alley which was pretty windy, and bought duck feather pillows, cut them open and tossed the feathers all around, taping at multiple angles. Hell, I haven't been looking forward to this class because of obvious reasons - I don't know shit about handling a professional camera // media stuff. But throwing the feathers around really brought a huge level of fun to it; although I'm feeling a bit bad about messing up the entire alley. :P It was a huge mess when we left.

It's now that time of the month again - when I become an emotional, crying mess. :(

Some pictures from when I went home ::

Little Brandon. :) He's grown so big since I left in February. Unfortch, a few moments after I took this shot, he fell off and burst into tears. :( Oh, the guilt.

I seem to be on a virus attacking frenzy of some sort. A couple of weeks ago it was a trojan; yesterday it was some stupid MSN virus called Pictur Album 2007. Thank god the latter was pretty harmless -- all it seemed to do was screw up MSN Messenger. I managed to download a patch and get rid of the virus, but it seemed to keep relapsing every now and then, lol. Finally I uninstalled and reinstalled MSN and it seems ot be fine now. Hopefully.

So, if you happen to receive, or you already received some stupid message from me on MSN, please don't accept it; unless you are in need of some virus induced excitement. And if you got affected, message me for the patch.

Uni work has been incredibly hectic. Classes run so long that I find myself too tired to do anything by the time I get home. :/ In fact I'm always lethargic in class too. I can't seem to motivate myself; all I do is sit around and complain. -.- I need to get off my ass and do more work. How la how la.. Why is my brain shutting down so much?

I've got 3 classes on my plate this semester -- ID Studio, which is called Fermenting Spaces, which is err about fermenting spaces, if that makes any sense to you; Electric Eye, which is about Digital Video, and I've got to shoot videos and edit them and attempt being all artsy fartsy; and History/Theory which involves lotssss of reading abstract, philosophical, deep, confusing articles and essay writing.. It's insane. I find myself so busy every week, even though I have Mondays and Thursdays off. Luckily I've got group work for Studio [temporarily] and Digital Video.

Going [video] shooting later on today! I'll be the girl lugging this heavy ass professional camera in this huge silver case around Melbourne city.

I'm back in Melbourne. Arrived early last Thursday, and it's been pretty hectic since -- catching up on all the missed assignments. I'm pretty much up to speed now except for my history assignment, I think.

This semester I've got lots of morning classes, as opposed to the evening classes I used to have, so no more sleeping in for me. :( It kind of sucks because most of my housemates have morning classes too and there's always no more hot water left when it comes to my turn in the shower! :'(

Oh, I got a trojan last Saturday night, and Norton really wasn't much help. Norton's only useful with small little bugs, but whenever it's a major virus, it never seems to be able to do anything. -.- Why do I bother paying for Norton, really?!

Anyway, so I had to reformat the computer in the middle of the night.. I couldn't sleep without fixing the comp, lol. And I had to redo an assignment but it's all good now; apart from the 5-6 GB of videos that I lost. But earlier that day, I had just burned 20+ GB of videos, so I was lucky.

And I've finished reading Harry Potter! I've never been a huge fan or anything, but it is pretty sad to see it come to an end.

I'm still missing home a lot, but yeah 3 and a half months really isn't that long. In a way, I'm rather looking forward to this semester, and finishing it off. :)

So with a heavy heart, I have to drag my ass back to Melbourne tomorrow night. I have to say that I'm not looking forward to the flight [I've just discovered how much I despise flying], and lugging my bags up the stairs, and unpacking. Going back to uni and starting classes [well, classes have started a week ago already :/], cooking and cleaning -- meh.

Classes have always been stressful for me, I feel; maybe because sometimes I'm not sure if this is the right course for me. I don't know if my course mates feel the same, but really, I find the work extremely stressful. Even though I received good grades last semester, my confidence is still low and I keep doubting myself. I push myself so much and I worry too much.

Coming back to KL has been fun, but it's difficult to tear myself away from home once more. I knew it would be hard to leave again, which is why I wasn't sure if I wanted to come back this winter break. But hey, now I get to be back in KL twice this year instead of once, right?

So now I look forward to coming back in 3-4 months. :) Bloody hell I hope this semester goes well.

Anyway I've been back in KL for one and a half weeks. I got my friend Shah in Melbourne to ballot for my classes, which just started yesterday. :/ Feeling slightly guilty about missing a week of classes, but I guess I'll just have to catch up when I get back. :(

Which is why I'm so not looking forward to going back. It's been great being back here at home -- seeing my family and Wazir again.. Some friends - Sun, Jolene, Trish's 21st! Cenfad friends... etc. I've put on nearly 4 kg even though I've only been back for such a short while! There's too much good food here! Being away made me appreciate the food more, lol.

Exactly one week til I have to go to Melbourne again. Nooooooooo I don't want to go anymore... :(

Holidays have been pretty good. Last week I saw Kiat, Sam, Sean and Dharen, as you can tell from the comment left in my cbox. =P And Lay In was in Melbourne so I met up with her a few times; we went on a tour to Yarra Valley and Puffing Billy, etc.. And I just saw Mae, Wern, Dharen and Sam earlier today. Oh, and I finally went to the Chadstone mall last weekend!

Anyways. I'm blabbering. But I've got big news!!

Wait for it.. [omg I'm watching too much How I Met Your Mother]

I'm going back to KL tomorrow night!!! I know it's totally last minute and all but mum surprised me with it and I'm coming back tomorrow night, but I couldn't get a flight back so I'm missing a week of class. So yes. I'm going home. :)

I can't wait to see Wazir, Brynna and Brandon! And the rest of the family. :) And all you UK people.. :)

Uncle Jakob joined mum and I in Melbourne on Saturday, and the two of them just left yesterday afternoon. To be honest, I'm still emo-ing but I'm feeling noticeably better, compared to the last few times mum // dad left. It feels sad that I'm back to being alone here, but at the same time it feels nice to have my own alone time again. However, it being holidays means I just sit in my room and watch videos all day. :P

Yen is leaving tonight for London -- Yen, don't worry too much. :) You'll be fine! :) Have a great flight and we'll definitely talk again soon. Your internet connection should be better there so we can Skype properly, lol! By the time you read this you'll be in London. :)

I really don't like winter. Layering is so meh -- having to drag a coat or jacket around everywhere I go.. I despise it. I miss wearing just a tee and skirt with summer shoes. I haven't worn a skirt in ages because it's too cold, even with tights. Just 2 more months of cold weather to go!

Last week there was an exhibition for the 2nd and 3rd year Interior Design students at RMIT.. So yeah.. As I mentioned, I went there and put up my work and brought some models there and stuff.. And today I went back to pick them up, to find that they had shipped everything from the exhibition space to RMIT.. So I went to RMIT to find that some of my models were missing.. I seem to be on some sort of a model-going-missing strike. This has already happened to me once in Cenfad, when the cleaners threw away a couple of my models by accident.. It's not like I really need the models but I did put work into them..

According to imood.com, my mood has not changed since May 24, 2005. I have been loyal ever since, and today, I am feeling accomplished. =P Don't get me wrong though, of course I'm still loyal to Wazir. :)

The long distance relationship has been going very well; much better than I anticipated. Sure, its tough being apart, but with callcards and msn and skype it does make it easier. It's difficult when I'm stressed out and I just need him to comfort me; it's tough when I just want a big hug and cuddle. I miss him very very much, and it frustrates me that I can't be with him physically; and I am very jealous of those lucky people whose other halves are studying with them in the same city, or those who get to fly back home every holiday. :'( Damn you lucky people. :P

The afterparty of Icon Show 2006. Gosh. One year has gone in the blink of an eye. I still recall sitting in Cenfad's ID studio, putting together our presentation boards; pinning up our work for the exhibition.. And one year later I'm doing the exact same thing at RMIT, but you're not here with me.

Forgive me if you've seen most of these pictures before - Wazir and I really aren't picture taking people. It's been about 3 years yet I probably only have 10+ pictures of us together, lol. But that's just us, I guess.

On a side note, I have been reliving Gilmore Girls by downloading old episodes. I'm already halfway through season 3.

Been staying with my mum in her hotel ever since she arrived, thus have not had much access to the internet in days; but last night we subscribed to the internet for 24 hours so I've got a few more hours to go. :)

Things have been pretty hectic even though my presentation ended last week because:♥ The 2nd & 3rd year interior exhibitions opened last night, and I had to help set up.♥ I have to present my work again tomorrow night to the industry people as a thank you for letting us work with them for the 1 week work experience, and for all the Saturday workshops.♥ I have to submit a portfolio report thingy about my project on Friday.

Gah.

My housemate, Lynn has gone back to Penang. :( Lynn I miss you! Leaving me with Loy Yang and Chee Hoe, and I don't doubt that both of them will be Dotaing and WOWing most of the holidays. :P Lol.

Father's Day was on Sunday.. Happy Father's Day, dad! :) It's rather ironic that dad was here on Mother's Day and vice versa.

I received my new boots -- Ah Yi's sister in UK ordered them off asos.com for me and brought them back to KL, and mum brought them for me.

I don't know if you all heard about the shootings that happened in Melbourne on Monday, but you can read about it on news.com.au. It was rather terrifying, knowing that something like this happened in the city that I was currently in. My thoughts go out to the family of the deceased and the other two who were injured. It was really a sad, scary day. It reminded me of the Virginia Tech shootings; and I felt vulnerable, being in a foreign country - it feels unsafe being away from home sometimes.

Tomorrow I'm going to the printer to get my presentation boards and drawings printed. I was originally budgeting to print on Wednesday, but turns out I finished my work a day earlier. It's kind of strange that in Australia, all the printing shops only print pdf formats. They charge more if its a jpg or any other format. What difference does it make, really? You send the file from the computer station to the printer, and it prints. -.-

Anyway, here are some pictures from when dad and Ah Yi were here. :)

Us

Bondi beach. :)

Queen Victoria Building.

Sydney Opera House.

Leonard French ceiling at NGV. This is in Melbourne though. :)

Oh, and just for fun ::

I just noticed that I've been posting every Monday lately. What a coincidence!

It's been pretty intense and busy these few weeks. Just 11 days to go for final presentation. I can't wait for it to be over. I just received an email from my lecturers saying that the presentations go from 9.00am til 5.30pm, and my slot is at 5.00pm. -.- I hate being last, it just gets me more nervous than ever. But I'm last because my last name starts with a Y. But why?? My first name starts with a B!! I've always liked presenting second or third.

But anyway. I still have lots to do. I've been working on my drawings, but this being my first semester and all, I'm still a bit unsure of the expectations. Honestly, my technical drawings have never been very good, and back at Cenfad, we used Vectorworks; whereas in RMIT they use AutoCad, so I'm still adjusting to the changes. I have yet to start my 3D as well, but Wazir will be helping me out.

Exam week sucks. My housemates and I agreed that we'd be too busy/lazy to cook this week, therefore, on Saturday we cooked a giant pot of pasta and that's going to be our lunch and dinner this week. It's been two days and I'm already feeling sick -- will definitely have to alternate pasta with Maggi, Indomee, bagels and toast.

But I can't wait for the final presentation to be over and done with, because 2 days after the presentation mum is coming to Melbourne. I know, again.. :) She'll be working at the client's office but we still get to spend time together in the evenings/nights. So I'm working hard now so that I can enjoy later. Work in order to achieve play. That's the concept of my design project too. :) I haven't even been shopping for a while, since dad and ah yi were here.

Today I started my work placement, as part of my studio. Some of you may know that I've had really few credit hours -- all other studios have 9 credit hours a week, whilst I had 6 in the first half of the sem, and now I only have 3. Well, sometimes 6 when the lecturers feel we're not doing work. :P But less credit hours or not, the workload is still the same. :/

But anyway. The reason my credit hours are so little is because I had 4 Saturday classes -- visits to 4 different design offices; and now I have to work for a week. And work, as I found today, is basically them giving me a computer and me doing my own work on AutoCad/Photoshop. Hah. I could do that at home, but being around people working does make me feel like doing work I guess. No videos to distract me; no bed to lie on. No MSN to chat with Wazir. :(

The flipside is that the office is rather far from my place though. I think it's like 7-8 blocks? Not too sure, but it takes me about 35-40 minutes to walk there. I took a super long lunch break today because it took me 35 minutes to get home, then an hour and a half to cook and eat, then another 35 minutes to walk back. Damn stupid right? All because I want to save money on tram and food. But the people at the office don't mind. When asked if I could leave for lunch, they said sure, I'm my own boss.

Today I went to Eckersly's, this stationery shop selling materials to buy foamcore. It's more expensive than the shop I usually go to, but hell, its a Sunday and it was the only shop open. $5 more expensive is a lot but when you're desperate, you're desperate.

Anyway. So I bought this A0 sheet of foamcore board, and just as I stepped out of the shop, the wind blows. Really strongly. The board almost immediately bends nearly into half. At that point, I'm so shocked I didn't even know what to do. I could barely walk and hold the board down, so I just pushed the board against the wall and leaned against it. Then the wind died down and I walked along, for a few metres, before I had to do it again.

And that was how I got the foamcore home. People were staring, it was sooo not funny. The worst part was crossing the roads, because the wind is so much stronger at the intersections.

I'm so damn traumatised. I'm not going out to buy materials alone again.

Dad and Ah Yi have gone back -- everytime anyone visits then leaves I always get sad and emo. It sucks having 10 whole days of being busy and having familiar people to talk to and go out with, then back to being alone again. But it's for the better; I have so much work to do these few weeks. When people visit me I tend to put aside work. Final presentation is on the 15th of June!! :( Wish me luck!

Dad and Ah Yi are here in Melbourne to visit -- everything's been so rushed. We went to Sydney last weekend and it was a huge whirlwind. My cousin drove us around and I managed to meet up with Shen, Jun and Mae so it was great. :) It's been really nice having dad and Ah Yi here -- I don't feel so lonely. I missed them a lot.. And Brandon too! I looked at some recent photos and videos and he's really grown! He'll be walking soon enough, and I regret that I can't be there for these precious moments. I'll put up pictures soon.

I just watched the last ever episode of Gilmore Girls... :( Sad. I didn't think I was that attached to this show.. But I've been watching it for 7 years now, and it feels like I'm losing a friend. No more Lorelai and Rory on Tuesdays (well, Wednesdays; Tuesdays is USA time). :( Downloading the show was a part of my weekly routine. I didn't feel much when the OC was cancelled, but GG meant so much more to me. :'( Sad sad sad.

Speaking of GG, it was Mother's Day over the weekend. I phoned my mum and she was surprised. :) Happy Mother's Day, mum. :) I love my mum. I'm not going to go all sentimental and stuff here, but you guys should know how much she means to me.

Yesterday I sort of had a meltdown. It was pretty bad -- I'd been working on this idea for slightly more than a week, for my studio; but when I took it to class the lecturer said she prefered my original idea and told me to work on something else. And it made sense -- I'd gone off track and the new design was pretty boring anyway.

But when I got home and tried sketching and making models, I just couldn't envision what I wanted, because the model I had made was in a weird shape and had slanted planes and whatnot. I just couldn't think, and the more I tried to think, the worse I felt. I tried taking time off and doing other things, but my mind just kept going back to the model and it just felt like shit, lol. I thought about it for so long until I just burst into tears.

I don't know if this is something to do with it being that time of the month, or me being away from home, or whatever, but it was awful. I cried and phoned Wazir and my mum and cried even more. I finally got fed up with myself and forced myself to sleep early, at 12.30am! [I've been sleeping at like 5am everyday lately.]

But anyway. I woke up this morning feeling better and I talked my design over with Wazir, and I've started making a new model and it looks alright so far. I just.. I felt so weak yesterday; it was weird. I just couldn't control my emotions and I felt so alone. I guess I still have to get used to me being on my own here in Melbourne, and frankly, I finished my coursework at Cenfad a year ago, so I need to get my rhythm back after being on holiday for quite a while.

Man, this is bad. I haven't been blogging in ages and when I come back all I can do is whine and feel depressed. :P Anyway... Hope you all have a great weekend. :)

I had such a light and easy first half of the semester that I became so lazy. And the workload is getting heavier. I know, I know, most of you would say I don't have much to complain about, seeing as I originally had 12 contact hours a week for the first half, and now I have 9 contact hours a week! But really, the work is getting more, time is passing quickly, and deadlines are getting nearer. And I'm just out of ideas. Plus, I have to do a week of work experience.

I don't know. Sometimes its not that I don't have ideas -- I do, but I don't have the confidence in myself to just sit down and sketch, make models, or whatever. I miss having Wazir or my classmates, next to me, to discuss things, ask for opinions, and share ideas. I sit here in my dining room, trying to make my model, but no one in the house understands what I'm doing so I obviously can't ask for opinions.

I know I complain about my course all the time, but I really do miss having an actual syllabus. Having some guide to follow; some textbook to pluck answers out of. But I certainly don't miss exams. Presentations are incredibly nerve-wrecking but 30 minutes of that is better than 3 hours sitting in an exam hall or whatnot.

I currently have 3 classes: Studio, History/Theory (which is a first year class that I have to take. And it's an extreme bore, with site visits, and lots and lots of readings and essays.), and Modelling (which can be fun but too time consuming). I'm currently stuck on my studio work and have had a couple of sleepless nights just thinking about it.

Sometimes I find it hard to believe that it's already the ninth week into my course. I've been in Melbourne for 3 months now. I suppose you could say it hasn't been that bad. I'm getting used to it, but I wouldn't say I love it, because it will never be home. Sometimes life gets boring here -- cooking the same things week after week, going to the same places... I know that back in KL I did the same ol' things too, but I was surrounded by people and places I love and it just made a whole big difference.

Just 6 and a half months before I go home! I can't wait.

It feels weird posting in Blogger after nearly a year away. I miss having previews in its proper layout.

Wow. It's been a nearly a year since I lost this blog. Well, Yen informed me that this site was open and by chance, I tried to get it back and I did! No more spammers on http://chooiwen.blogspot.com. Finally.

To those of you who do check back on my blog rather regularly, I'm sorry for taking you guys on this wild goose chase -- the hosting on Seng Yip's site, http://www.xen0s.org expired and we will be moving to a new domain soon. I'll keep you updated and linked, promise.

There is so much to say, but I don't know where to start. I'm still fixing my template at the moment so I guess I'll continue blogging here for now, until the new domain is up.. :)