Saturday, August 28, 2010

...or maybe I'm just telling myself that since I found a TYPO in the picture book MS that I've already sent out to five-yes-5!!! agents.

It's probably the extreme in wishful thinking, but just for today I want to think that getting published isn't the be all and end all of my ambition, inspiration, and talent. I want to believe that outside recognition won't feel as wonderful as I imagine and that rejection won't hurt as much as I think it will. I want to believe the blog that I read on Query Tracker blog (QT is the best resource if you're querying) that the grass may not be greener on the other side, or if it is, at least there are benefits to NOT being published.

Ah well, I guess this is just part of the learning curve...it just SUCKS that I worked so hard on the MS and the query letter only to find I've wasted everyone's time by typing "smel".

I've gotta believe that one "l" will not be the reason that my books never see the light of day!!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

I haven't gotten as much writing done as I would have liked either, not having #1k1hr people from Twitter pushing me along (I've missed you girls!), but I'm not that far behind - my notebook hasn't been out of my sight!

Getting the house ready to sell, having the house of my dreams slip through my fingers, steeling myself to view yet another "perfect house", and 2 trips with 3 kids have all left me completely exhausted...and my exhaustion seems to have trumped my motivation for awhile.

It's funny how closely connected my energy level is with my mood. I'm one of those people who is either UP or DOWN in capital letters. I am either conquering the world or burying my face in a pillow.

In other news-that-I-am-adding-in-here-non-chalantly-so-I-don't-freak-myself-out-yet-again, I have sent out my first 2 queries, thinking that I'll wait to get rejections from them before I send out others, getting my feet wet, as it were...

(Or maybe I'll be the one of a million who gets picked up right away? No? Ah well, I wasn't really expecting it anyway.)

Monday, August 2, 2010

Every time I realize how close I am to sending out queries for my children's series, I feel like I'm at the edge of a 50-foot diving board, ready to jump, being watched by millions - and I forgot to put on my bathing suit.

I am so proud of my work, and a little bit defensive of it... my characters this time around are inspired by my children and I'm worried that I might not take their rejection very well.

I keep fluctuating between wanting the whole world to read these stories because they're magical and interesting and fun, and not wanting anyone to read them because they are delicate and personal and real.

Nobody told me that this point in the process, when the story is finally written properly, would be as full of conflicting emotion as the writing itself!

So I'll try not to do what I did as a child in my first (and only) diving class...I'll try to actually make that first jump and not stumble back down the ladder and into the dressing room without making eye contact with anyone.

About Me

I'm a mother, a writer, a teacher, a wannabe-something-important, and a hopeless romantic.
I often wish I was more than I am, or at least better at it.
I rely far too much on what I think others think of me in order to determine my self-worth.
I am probably exhausting to be around, but will make you happy you stayed.