Pokey Mom Written by Tom Martin
Directed by Bob Anderson
==============================================================================
Production code: CABF05 Original Airdate on FOX: 14-Jan-2001
Capsule revision C (30-Dec-03)
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> "TV Guide" Synopsis
==============================================================================
None submitted.
[If you use these summaries to determine if you found the right capsule,
here's a TV Guide-like synopsis: Marge meets a prisoner who's also a
talented painter, and tries to rehabilitate him into free society -- Ed.]
==============================================================================
> Title sequence
==============================================================================
Blackboard: I WILL NOT "LET THE DOGS OUT"
I WILL NOT "LET THE DO at cutoff
Couch: The family runs and sits on the couch, which is on a round
platform. The platform spins around, revealing a secret wall,
like in the old movies. Ned Flanders is chained, upside down,
to this wall, while a Vincent Price-like mad scientist stands
next to him and cackles evilly.
==============================================================================
> Did You Notice...
==============================================================================
... Sideshow Bob wrapped up in bandages in the infirmary?
... the Native American dream catcher on Dr. Steve's wall?
Don Del Grande:
... the bull actually heads toward Lisa, even though bulls are color blind?
(They are attracted by motion, which is the main reason toreadors wave
capes) ["Well, Homer was waving her around," says {sa}]
... for someone who's been taken down by Lisa, Bart can sure handle
weights?
... Doctor Steve sounds like Ned?
Joe Green:
... the fat black woman behind OFF at the rodeo?
... the woman in the original Puma Pride mural has hairy legs?
Richard Kim:
... one of the settings on the bed's controls is MAX POWER?
Joe Klemm:
... the prisoners work in the field of telemarketing?
Chad Lehman:
... at the end of Act I, Bart is bench pressing 185(!) lbs., assuming he's
got two plates (45s), two quarters (25s) and the 45 lb. bar?
Benjamin Robinson:
... Homer must have trusted Lisa with his patent, because he didn't give
her the "patent pending" warning?
... Lunchlady Doris is about to say something when Milhouse interrupted?
==============================================================================
> Voice Credits
==============================================================================
- Starring
- Dan Castellaneta (Homer, Delbert, Clown 1 [?], Tower Guard [?], Willie)
- Julie Kavner (Marge)
- Nancy Cartwright (Bart, Nelson)
- Yeardley Smith (Lisa)
- Hank Azaria (Moe, "La-di-da" Guard, Sardonicus {jlm}, Frink, Wiggum, Man
2, Chalmers)
- Harry Shearer (Clown 2 [?], Guard, Hibbert, Steve, Lenny, Skinner, Man 1,
Flanders)
- Special Guest Voice
- Michael Keaton (Jack Crowley)
- Charles Napier (Warden {mg})
- Robert Schimmel (Prisoner {jlm})
- Bruce Vilanch (Himself)
- Marcia Wallace (Edna Krabappel)
- Also Starring
- Pamela Hayden (Milhouse)
- Tress MacNeille (Agnes Skinner)
- Karl Wiedergott (Extra Guy)
==============================================================================
> Movie (and other) references
==============================================================================
+ Pokemon (toy and entertainment franchise)
- title a spoof [{al} notes, "'Pokey' is slang for prison"]
+ "Who Let the Dogs Out?" (song)
- Bart recants his claim to do so in the blackboard gag
+ "Meat is Murder" (vegetarian slogan) {bjr}
- Lisa's apron has the more specialized slogan, "Barbecue is Murder"
+ "The Hurricane" (song)
- Bob Dylan wrote a song protesting "Hurricane" Carter's unjust
sentence; here, Jack considered to be a person "Dylan wrote a song
about keeping him in prison." [See "Comments" section for more --
Ed.]
- [{al} adds, "Dylan wrote other songs about prisoners behind bars for
transgressions that were not their own, this is the likeliest source
for the reference, given the 1999 film based on that story."]
+ Smithsonian Air and Space Museum {bjr}
- Homer claims there's an "Air *in* Space Museum"
- Norman Mailer and Jack Abbott incident {ps}
- Marge-Jack plot similar to real-life attempt of Mailer to rehabilitate
prisoner Abbott [See "Comments" section for more -- Ed.]
+ "Chinatown" (movie)
- Moe says, "Forget it Homer, it's Chiro-town," echoing a line in the
movie
+ "Hollywood Squares" (TV game show) {bjr}
- comedian Bruce Vilanch (a one of the "Squares") claims Whoopie (a
fellow "Square") could have pulled off Chalmers' "Muriel" joke [See
"Comments" section for more -- Ed.]
~ "I Shot The Sheriff" (song) {jc}
- Jack's claim that he torched the mural, but not Skinner's car parodies
the Bob Marley song's chorus
==============================================================================
> Previous episode references
==============================================================================
- [7F18] Marge remembers her stint as an artist
- [9F04] Whoopi Goldberg is mentioned {dj}
- [9F07] Guard repeats himself (just like the scene at the auto show -- "Do
you come with the car?") {sa}
- [9F22] The word "heckhole" is used {jg2}
- [2F19] Marge teaches a class {dj}
- [3G04], [CABF06] Homer waves pennant with odd name on it {bjr}
- [5F13] Bart wants the bull to toss the rider's salad (c.f. "toss the virtual
salad" from the science place) {sa}
- [AABF09] "Max Power" {jg2}
- [AABF12] Dream catcher seen {dj}
==============================================================================
> Freeze frame fun
==============================================================================
- Adjustable bed settings {bjr}
MAX
POWER
FULL
REVERSE
- Apron show flyer {bjr}
SPRINGFIELD
APRON EXPO
[pic] [pic]
[pic] THE SMAPRON
- Lisa's apron slogan {bjr}
BARBECUE
IS MURDER
- Homer's apron slogan {bjr}
GRRRL
POWER
- Rodeo sign {bjr}
PRISON
RODEO
TODAY
- Infirmary sign {bjr}
NO
COMPLAINING
- Chiropractor's sign {bjr}
Dr. Steve
CHIROPRACTOR
- Homer's clinic sign {bjr}
PAY IN
ADVANCE
- Skinner's lunch planner (the part I could see in close-up) {bjr}
WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY
+-----+ +-------+
|Texas| |Mystery|
|Hash | | Fish |
+-----+ +-------+
+-----+ +-- +-------+
|Corn | |Sq[uash] |Goulash|
+-----+ +- +-------+
Thursday's "Squash" card was partially blocked by Skinner.
==============================================================================
> Animation, continuity, and other goofs
==============================================================================
+ Since when do Marge and Homer have an adjustable bed? {jg2}
c When the prisoner sitting next to Crowley asks, "Can I smell your clothes,"
the closed captioning reads, "Will you hold me close again?" {bjr}
c Dr. Steve tells Homer, "Simpson, you're not a licensed chiropractor," but
the CC reads, "Simpson, you're not qualified to do this." {bjr}
* It shouldn't be possible to see the original mural, much less in its
entirety, as the second one burned. {ddg}
= Skinner's car looks relatively undamaged by the fire -- must have been made
out of the same material as the school. {bjr}
= Chief Wiggum's hat brim goes behind his eyes as he's adjusting his hat
while talking about "Sex and the City." {ddg}
==============================================================================
> Reviews
==============================================================================
Don Del Grande: this was actually a slightly better than normal episode (they
even managed to break the "lead-in" into both the main plot and the
sub-plot), but the cable TV chat ending just stopped it cold. (B)
Joe Green: After last week's welcome change of pace, we get yet another bland
and dissatisfying episode, complete with unnecessary (not to mention
stupid) subplot. I *will* give this one brownie points for the return of
Sideshow Bob (sort of) and the nativity scene joke, though. (C-)
Chad Lehman: Pokey Mom was what I call a "story episode." There was nothing
too exceptional about it, humor-wise. Then again, there was nothing too
annoying about it. It was cute seeing Homer grabbing Marge's kiss. The
character continuity of Marge's art abilities and appreciation was brought
up again, and I liked that. Michael Keaton availed himself well by not
overacting. His "under-acted" voice work was a great touch (kind of a
Harrison Ford/Chevy Chase technique). But, the plot was formulaic and
bland. There were a few laughs, but not enough to raise the grade. This
ep was a true "C", because it was average. (C)
Jamie Liddell: Pokey Mom is a bad episode. Yet it is not rudely abysmal --
it would not have me on the internet within minutes, registering my disgust
throughout the world -- as it was nothing more than painfully bland and
drab. The ex-con artist character is like the episode itself: totally
forgettable and lacking any comic worth. As the episode plods along,
through the unengaging and predictable exploration of its hardly
fascinating theme (Marge the do-gooder does good, once again) it carries
with it an absurd lack of good jokes. [...] Homer's subplot was more
interesting than the main one, but not by much, and the ending is best
described as unsatisfactory. Pokey Mom is not a crime against the
Simpsons' reputation, but it's sure as hell not going to build it. (D+)
Adam Long: Marge-centered episodes have been some of the most forgettable
lately, which is really a shame because we used to see some (at least
somewhat) interesting character in her (i.e. The Springfield Connection, In
Marge We Trust, etc.). "Pokey Mom" does offer a decent (albeit predictable)
premise, and even a relatively clever sub-plot, but the writing isn't there
to back it up. I found much of the episode to be boring, and very few of
the jokes worked. The only two I really laughed at were the two running
gags, with the Prison/School in view of the kitchen window, and the
irritated audience followed by a gun-cocking sound. There was an absence
of zaniness, which is good, and it was nice to see both plots resolved, but
the few things that this episode succeeded in aren't enough to save it.
(D+)
Michael Nusair: It looks like season 12 has produced yet another winner.
Michael Keaton was really good, I thought (but then again, I always like
Michael Keaton). There was a solid plot and it was pretty funny (most
notably Marge staring out the window). As well, Homer got hurt and
actually sustained a real injury, which is a rarity these days (even if it
was just to further the plot). Overall: Another very solid episode. (B+)
Mike Reed: You can judge this episode on two different levels. On the humor
side this episode was great, with many LOL's such as Bart's blue shirt
reference, the Sideshow Bob gag, and Moe's "chirotown" line. But on the
plot end of things, it comes up a bit short. The end feels too quick and
slapped on for my tastes (What happened to Marge's art class?) and leaves
too much open. Homer's subplot was great though. Overall, a mixed effort.
(B)
Ian Smith: Well, it certainly follows the rubric for a good episode -- strong
plot which holds together, everyone pretty much in character (except
Skinner) and an episode which doesn't focus solely on Homer. This used to
be a foregone conclusion, but now it's become such a rarity that it has to
be commented upon. This episode itself was pretty good, a few good laughs,
especially from the surprisingly funny subplot of Homer's garbage can spine
re-adjuster, or whatever he called it, but Prinskipal Skipster wasn't his
normal self at all -- it's very unlike him to pick a fight, especially with
someone built like Jack was. The series is definitely going the right way.
(B+)
Robin Steinmann: A rather forgettable episode, proving once more that it
apparently hard to revolve a funny episode around Marge. Jack Crowley was
an awfully pale character, and the participation of Homer once again
belonged into the "Getting Hurt" or "Jackass" category. The whole episode
lacked of a connection between main and subplot (which went nowhere),
action by Bart and Lisa, and some kind of inspiration what this episode
should really be about. The best scenes was the final conversation between
Jack and Wiggum, but that didn't help the episode from getting a (D+)
Todd Willis: This episode was pretty forgettable, with only a few highlights.
I enjoyed much of the opening sequence and most of the first act, but after
that the episode entered the boring zone. The only gags that worked past
that point were the sundaes and Wiggum's conversation with Jack. I guess
I'll admit that I found a little bit of the chiropractor bit funny. The
plot went nowhere and Jack wasn't very interesting. That about sums up the
problems with the episode. (C-)
Yours Truly: At a time when most of the characters on "The Simpsons" get
broader and simpler, Marge's character becomes a little richer -- at least
in episodes featuring her. "Pokey Mom" nicely shows her nurturing side as
she tries to rehabilitate a convict. Jack, the jailbird, is an interesting
character, hardened yet with a sensitive side, and potentially a
functioning member of society. Speaking of character, some major jerkass
Homer moments also detract from this episode. The story line is too slack;
I felt Jack is *so* self-effacing, you hardly remember how he got into
prison, let alone wonder if he can make it on the outside. In the end,
what we have here is ... failure to write a compelling plot. (B)
AVERAGE GRADE: C+ (2.40) Std Dev.: 0.8756 (15 reviews computed)
==============================================================================
> Comments and other observations
==============================================================================
>> Meta-reference corner
Joe Klemm: Homer's crack about Bart having a blue shirt is a meta-humor crack
at how Bart is usually seen on merchandising wearing a blue shirt rather
than his red shirt.
Andrew Levine adds: This was originally done so counterfeit merchandise using
images taken directly from the show could be spotted.
Ah, but Dave Hall writes: A popular belief is that it's to easily catch
bootleg/ counterfeiters, however a suggestion put forth by Gavan McCormack,
way back in '94, is that in the Tracey Ullman shorts many of the characters
clothing changed often. Since this is where a lot of the original
merchandise came from, subsequent merchandise officially adopted what it
considered standard at the time.
BTW other people have pointed out that some merchandise did not always
follow the "blue shirt rule". In the past
Vince Chan pointed out that in the Comics Bart has an orange shirt.
BenC100 noted Bart wears a red shirt on the SitKoS ["Songs in the Key of
Springfield"] CD.
Don Del Grande mentioned that in one part of The Simpsons Cartoon Studio
Bart's wearing a red shirt. Don also mentions that the promo cups from 7-
11 and Subway (from a few years back) has Bart wearing a red shirt; Don
notes that a local newspaper ad for Butterfinger ice cream bars features
Bart in a red shirt.
And more than one person mentioned a Bart Simpson key-chain featuring Bart
in a red shirt.
>> They don't call her that because she's slow
Benjamin Robinson: "Pokey" is slang for jail or prison; you would say that an
inmate was, "in the pokey." I've mainly heard this used in old movies, or
by people who were trying to consciously imitate old movies, so I'll assume
it's an archaic term.
>> Erect a creche, go to jail
Nathan Doshier writes: In the Simpsons episode "Pokey Mom," OFF go to a
prison rodeo. At some point during the rodeo, the warden/announcer
mentions that one convict is behind bars for putting up a Nativity scene on
public property. This is a reference to something that happened in the
city of Eugene, Oregon (where I happen to live) in the year 2000.
In the fall of that year, City Manager Jim Johnson wrote a memo and tried
to pass a law that would ban Christmas decorations on public property. He
did this in the spirit of political correctness and diversity, stating that
Christmas trees and other decorations promoted Christianity above other
religions, and shouldn't be allowed in courthouses, fire stations, and
other public buildings.
The ACLU and other groups supported this act 100%, but there was one
problem. None of the people who worked in public buildings supported the
law. Firemen that had been putting Christmas trees in their fire stations
for 20+ years protested. It also ignited public furor among the entire
city. People wrote angry letters to the newspaper daily, and protests on
City Hall were planned.
In the end, Jim Johnson retracted his proposed law, and resigned less than
a year later.
>> "This is a song about The Hurricane ..."
Joe Klemm: The Bob Dylan crack during the prison rodeo refers to the song The
Hurricane. The song is about a the true story about a black boxer nicknamed
"The Hurricane" who was sent to prison for a murder that many people felt
he didn't commit. The murder charges were eventually overturned a few
years after the song was written, and a film was made about the incident
starring Denzel Washington, who received a Best Actor Oscar nomination for
the role.
Andrew Levine adds: Although the Simpsons reference was a joke, Bob Dylan
really did write a song about a man who was released from prison and (Dylan
felt) shouldn't have been: "The Lonesome Death of Hattie Carroll." In
this case, the man was William Zanzinger of Baltimore, who stabbed Carroll,
a 51-year-old black maid, to death. A wealthy man with friends in the
Maryland state government, he was released after spending six months in
jail. Interestingly, Carroll is currently once again in prison, following
a 1991 conviction for running boarding houses which were not up to health
code.
This is sort of like making a joke out of there not being a cane in Citizen
Kane, when, in fact, there was. Although I did think that it was at least
funny this time.
>> Next thing you know, they'll be installing burglar alarms
Prisoners doing telemarketing? As Matt Thompson explains, that's truer than
you may think: Prisoners have been used as cheap telemarketing labor for a
while (by companies like AT&T, among others). As cheap labor for anything,
really. Last June, there was the story about Utah scrapping its prisoner
telemarketing center since a prisoner used the equipment to send letters to
teenage girls. Similar things also happened in other states that forced
them to drop their programs.
In fact, this aspect of prison labor was used in a JAG episode a while
back.
>> Lock 'em up and throw away the key, that's what I say
Paul Schleck writes: Another possible reference not yet mentioned is a
parallel between Marge's sympathy for Jack's artistic talent, which
motivated her to argue for his parole, and the true story of Norman Mailer
championing the parole of convicted murderer Jack Henry Abbott, based on
sympathy for his writing talent. Six weeks after his release on parole in
1981, partly sponsored by Mr. Mailer, Mr. Abbott relapsed and murdered
waiter and actor Richard Adan outside of an East Village restaurant in New
York City. The Mailer episode is usually held up as a canonical example of
naive do-gooderism with tragic consequences (certainly more grave than the
relapse of Jack, which was "merely" vandalism and destruction of property).
The subplot is also vaguely reminiscent of numerous real-world examples of
sweet-talking, innocent-eyed, male criminals convincing female friends and
love interests to aid and abet their crimes. These are, unfortunately, all
too common, and too numerous to give specific examples here. Jack's
obviously transparent denial of torching Principal Skinner's car, when
Marge was an eyewitness, was a biting satire of such manipulative behavior.
>> You wouldn't want any old quack to crack your back
Benjamin Robinson writes: Dr. Hibbert's referral to a chiropractor comes as a
surprise to Homer because he remembers the days when the two groups angrily
opposed one another. Chiropractic care, as we know it today, began over
one hundred years ago. It's based on the theory that most of the body's
ills could be traced to misalignments in the spinal column. If the
vertebrae in the column were aligned properly, the pain would go away. This
claim was not limited to back pain -- chiropractors said they could cure
such things as digestive discomfort, circulatory diseases, and (in one
case) blindness. Today, chiropractors have scaled back their claims, but
still strive to be the family doctor. To attract patients, some
chiropractors try to project a friendlier image than a traditional doctor
(like "Dr. Steve's" use of only his first name).
Chiropractors quickly crossed swords with traditional doctors, who alleged
that they were charlatans who could produce no evidence to support their
stories. Remember that claim about curing blindness? The medical
establishment was quick to point out that the optic nerves don't go through
the spinal column, so manipulating it shouldn't have any effect.
Chiropractors were also blamed for dragging out treatment indefinitely, as
Dr. Steve was apparently planning to do.
Today, the AMA has reversed course, at least partially, and become more
open to "alternative" medicine. Chiropractic is recognized as being useful
therapy, at least for the "obvious" case of back pain. Some HMOs even list
chiropractors on the preferred provider lists. Even so, some sniping
continues between the two groups, with doctors claiming that chiropractors
promise too much, while the chiropractors counter-claim that doctors are
more concerned for their wallets than their patients. The ambivalence is
reflected in Dr. Hibbert's referral: He's confident Dr. Steve can help,
but he doesn't want to admit it openly.
>> Which way to Mecca?
Benjamin Robinson: Crowley's little joke about facing Mecca to pray is a
fitting one, as Muslims traditionally pray facing this holy city. Islam
has been gaining new converts from the ranks of prisoners seeking to turn
around their lives. If I am not mistaken, Malcolm X found Islam during one
of his prison stays.
>> "You're stealing patients from me and from Dr. Steffi"
I thought this was a fictional person (and a play on "Dr. Steve"), but there
apparently is a real-life Dr. Steffee. Dr. Carlo de Luna rises to his
defense:
As a practicing neurosurgeon, I was surprised when Dr. Steve said Homer's
cylinder was taking away patients from him and Dr. Steffee.
Dr. Arthur Steffee is an orthopedic surgeon who developed one of the first
implants to stabilize the human spine. Using metal screws inserted into
the body of the vertebra and connected to long metal plates, he popularized
a surgery that fused broken spines. By the early 90's, these "pedicle
screws" were being used to treat all forms of spinal disorders and Steffee
plates were a common name in the operating room.
I doubt however that the writers were aware of the Dr. Steffee's medical
contributions. Because pedicle screw surgery is very profitable, many
surgeons were implanting them for even the slightest complaint of back
pain. Obviously, a number of these patients continued to have pain or
experienced side effects from the surgery. The FDA originally cleared the
screws for use in broken backs. The combination of a lot of patients with
failed back surgery and a legitimate excuse to blame someone led to huge
class action suits against the medical companies producing pedicle screws.
By this time, Dr. Steffee was the head of one of the larger corporations
that was accused of pedaling these implants for profit.
I suspect the writers were aware of the pedicle screw litigation and were
associating Dr. Steffee with chiropractors as providing questionable care.
This is unfortunate because it misses his original contribution to medicine
and blames him for something that was not his fault.
>> Well, that answers that question
Someone known only as "Stoneco864" asks: What is wrong with Marge's sundaes?
Bunezuela St. Hubbuns answers: They have long blue hairs in them.
>> "I'll take the flamboyant tub of lard to block"
Joe Klemm writes: Bruce Vilanch is a comedy writer who writes most of the
jokes at the 1990's Oscars ceremonies. Whether it's Billy Crystal or
Whoopi Goldberg, Bruce has come up with some funny and unfunny items for
Hollywood's biggest night. He is also the head writer on Hollywood
Squares, where he is also a regular.
Darrel Jones adds: Though he's been active for many years, he didn't hit the
big time until a couple years back, when he got involved in the most recent
edition of "Hollywood Squares". Whoopi Goldberg, whom Mr. Vilanch
mentioned, is the center square, but the real success of this version is
the regular supporting cast, which includes Caroline Rae, Brad Garrett,
Gilbert Godfried, and Mr. Vilanch himself, always in the left center square
when present. Mr. Vilanch works because he's naturally goofy, always
wearing silly T-shirts, and in addition to appearing on the show, he also
writes the jokes and serves as a creative consultant. Mr. Vilanch is the
best recent example of a guy who makes it big after years of toiling behind
the scenes.
>> In prison, do you get a captive audience?
Benjamin Robinson: This is mainly for overseas viewers who might not get
United States cable channels. "Oz" is an original series airing on HBO,
that shows the brutal realities of prison life. Crowley and his fellow
inmates might be interested in watching it, but HBO is a premium channel
(you have to pay extra for it) not normally available on basic cable. "Sex
and the City" is another HBO series, this one a look at the love and sex
lives of four women in New York City. Finally, the all-sports channel ESPN
gives us "SportsCenter," which is like the evening news' sports segment,
but expanded to fill a half an hour.
>> Fun with Promotions
Mike Reed faithfully transcribes:
I: Announcer: The Simpsons saddle up for the most exciting show of the
year!
Marge: Somebody help him!
Homer: They got rodeo clowns.
Rodeo clown 1: (moronic voice) Is my lipstick even?
Rodeo clown 2: (gay voice) Go like this. (smacks lips)
(Homer gets kicked by the bull as the time and date is said)
II: Announcer: The Simpsons saddle up for the most exciting show of the
year!
Homer: (waving Lisa from the stands) Here's something to gore!
Lisa: Dad, no!
Homer: Not now, honey, Daddy's busy.
(Homer once again gets kicked by the bull as the time and date are said)
>> Miscellaneous, Etc.
The Joe Green alterna-title for this episode is: The Simpshank Redemption
Speaking of alterna-titles, Braeden Wilson notes that Fox's official
"Simpsons" site has the title of this episode as "Pokeymom" (i.e., one
word). Don Del Grande reports that other authoritative sources, like the
"Complete Guide" books, use the two-word spelling. We've adopted the same
spelling for this capsule, but be advised that the possibility exists that
it's just one word.
According to Fox (by way of Bill LaRue), this episode scored a Nielsen rating
of 8.6 (13 share). This works out to 15.0 million viewers. Among adults
aged 18 to 49, the rating was 7.8 (19 share).
Darrel Jones: Bruce Vilanch wears a Fred Flintstone T-shirt.
==============================================================================
> Quotes and Scene Summary {bjr}
==============================================================================
% Marge tries to wake Homer up one weekend. It's a task that's easier
% said than done. When the traditional methods fail, she uses the
% power-adjustable mattress to set Homer upright. Still, he doesn't
% wake up, until mattress closes around him like a clamshell. A red
% liquid runs out onto the floor. Horrified, Marge opens the mattress
% and is relieved to find out that it is a juice box, not her husband,
% who has been crushed.
Marge: Sorry, Homey, but you promised to take me to the apron
expo today.
Homer: Just give me ten more hours. [rolls over to go back to
sleep]
Marge: Come on, you and the kids always want to do fun stuff.
But today we're doing something I like.
[Homer groans sleepily]
They're unveiling a combination apron-smock. [unfolds a
brochure from the expo and shows it to Homer] It's called
a "smapron."
Homer: Did you say, "smockron?"
Marge: No, "smapron."
Homer: Oh. [goes back to sleep]
-- "Pokey Mom"
% Marge literally drags Homer out of bed, and the family goes to the
% apron expo, which is so exciting that the writers decided not to
% bother showing any of it. On the drive home, the Simpsons talk
% about the stuff they picked up at the apron show. Lisa has a
% "Barbecue is Murder" apron she'll wear on the Fourth of July. Bart
% has a lead apron to protect "downstairs." Homer has a "Grrrl Power"
% apron, which he misread as "Grill Power." Only Marge was
% disappointed -- too many aprons at the expo.
%
% Homer's looking forward to relaxing in bed with another juice box,
% but abruptly changes his mind when he passes a prison rodeo. The
% family (well, Homer really) decides to stop and watch.
Welcome to Waterville State Penitentiary! The contestants you'll see
today are actual prisoners on a break from their telemarketing duties.
-- Warden, "Pokey Mom"
% The first man rides a bucking bronco, but is quickly thrown to the
% ground with a crunch.
Warden: Well, don't feel too bad for him, folks. He's in here for
erecting a nativity scene on city property.
[audience boos loudly]
Marge: There's so much evil in the world.
-- At least he wasn't praying in a school, "Pokey Mom"
% The second rodeo contestant successfully hog-ties a calf. He pulls
% a knife to the calf's throat, and the warden reminds him that there
% will be no slaughtering today. The convict tries convincing the
% warden that he and the calf were "just having a conversation."
%
% The warden introduces Jack Crowley, who is supposedly such a low-
% life that Bob Dylan wrote a song to keep him behind bars. The bull
% quickly throws him into the wall.
Warden: Oh, he's down! And it looks like old Tornado wants
to caramelize his crème brûlée.
Moe: Yeah! Do that!
Marge: Somebody help him!
Homer: Relax. They got rodeo clowns.
[cut to clown dressing room]
Clown 1: Is my lipstick even?
Clown 2: Go like this. [smacks lips]
-- "Pokey Mom"
% Marge tries to save Jack's hide by calling the bull, but isn't able
% to get the animal's attention.
Homer: That's not going to do it, Marge; you need something red.
[picks up Lisa, and waves her over the stadium railing]
Hey, Toro! Here's something to gore!
Lisa: Da-a-ad!
Homer: Not now, honey, Daddy's busy.
[it works; the bull begins to charge toward Homer and
Lisa]
[pulls Lisa back into the stadium] Now, for a little
calming blue. [turns to Bart] Hey, where's your blue
shirt.
Bart: I don't have a blue shirt.
-- Blue's for dolls, anyway, "Pokey Mom"
% The bull rams into the wall just underneath Homer, sending him
% tumbling to the ground, and kicks him into the guard tower. This
% wakes up the guard, who wildly fires several rounds of tear gas into
% the audience.
Maybe it's the tear gas, or maybe this was the best damn prison rodeo
ever.
-- Warden, "Pokey Mom"
% Later, the prison tries to patch up Homer so he can go home.
Marge: How's your back, Homey?
Homer: I can't complain. [indicates a sign which reads, "No
Complaining"]
Warden: Ah, that's for the prisoners. You can complain all you
want.
Homer: Oh, God, my back! It hurts so much! And my job is so
unfulfilling!
-- That should about cover it, "Pokey Mom"
% Marge tries to help Homer.
Marge: Try to focus on something else. You like Jimi Hendrix,
right?
Homer: Uh-huh.
Marge: Well, look at that painting. [points to a portrait of
Hendrix] Wow, the artist really captured Jimi's passion
and intensity.
Homer: And his fondness for the guitar.
Jack: Thank you kindly, ma'am. They won't give us art supplies,
so I had to paint it with pudding.
Marge: A convict painted that?
Warden: Yep.
Marge: Well, I studied art, and this guy's got a real gift.
Warden: You kiddin'? Look -- [shows another painting] he painted
a unicorn in outer space. I'm asking you: What's it
breathin'?
Homer: Air?
Warden: Ain't no air in space.
Homer: There's an air-in-space museum.
-- Or is that an Aaron Space Museum? "Pokey Mom"
% The guards toss Homer out of prison. He gets up and leaves with
% Marge. On the way out, they pass convicts raking leaves into piles,
% except for Jack. He has raked his multicolored leaves into a
% beautiful picture of a sunset, which impresses Marge. She doesn't
% have long to appreciate Jack's artistry, as the wind kicks up and
% blows away the leaves. Both he and Marge sigh sadly.
%
% Meanwhile, in the prison's exercise yard, Bart bench-presses some
% weights.
Lisa: They are coming back for us, aren't they?
Bart: I dunno. [continues pumping iron]
-- If they don't, you can paint stuff with pudding, "Pokey Mom"
% [End of Act One. Time: 4:55]
%
% The next day, Homer's still having back problems.
Lisa: How's your back, Dad?
Homer: Well, there's a dull ache, certainly. And overlaid on
that is a club sandwich of pain. Only instead of bacon,
there's agony. Marge, could I have a BLT?
[Marge is staring out the window]
What are you looking at?
[In her mind's eye, Marge sees Waterville State
Penitentiary]
Marge: Oh, nothing. How would you feel if I did some volunteer
work at the prison?
Homer: First, I'd feel like having a BLT. Then, proud of you.
-- "Pokey Mom"
% Marge arrives at the prison to teach her first class.
Marge: Welcome to, "Freeing the Artist Within." Not
literally, of course. [chuckles. Her students are
dead silent and stare at her. We hear a shotgun
cocking]
Okay. Now, I wanted to paint fresh fruit, but the
prison cafeteria would only give me sauerkraut.
[empties a big can of sauerkraut onto a table. The
prisoners make disgusted noises]
That's depressing. Let's let a little sunshine in.
[draws the shade. The shadows of the bars fall on
the sauerkraut, making it look like it's in a cell.
The prisoners groan again]
Oh. [a prisoner raises his hand]
Prisoner: Can I smell your dress? [prisoners laugh]
Jack: [grabs the prisoner by the collar] Hey! You show
some respect -- this one here's not for smellin'.
[lets him go]
Marge: Why, thank you, Jack.
Jack: No problem. Now, let's paint.
Prisoner: [to Jack] Hey, can I smell your clothes?
-- "Pokey Mom"
% Homer visits Dr. Hibbert.
Hibbert: [whistles] Your spine is more twisted than Sinbad's
take on marriage. [chuckles]
Homer: So? Just give me some drugs and surgery.
Hibbert: Oh, I'd love to but, uh, to be honest, modern
medicine has a lousy record of treating the back.
We spend too much time on the front.
Homer: Yeah, there's some neat stuff on the front.
Hibbert: I'm going to send you to my chiropractor.
Homer: Hey, I thought real doctors hated chiropractors.
Hibbert: Well, that is our official stance but between you,
me, and my golf clubs, they're miracle workers.
-- "Pokey Mom"
% Marge continues to guide her art students. She advises one man to
% use a brushing stroke, rather than a stabbing motion, to paint a
% picture of a man killing a judge. Next, she turns to Jack, who has
% created a painting of a stone angel statue coming to life and flying
% to the heavens. She wonders how a sensitive soul like Jack wound up
% in the pokey. Jack confesses that he shot Apu. Marge does a deft
% job of rationalizing this, remarking that shooting Apu now carries
% only a US$100 fine.
Jack: Maybe I belong in here. I got a lot of anger.
Marge: I don't see any anger. [motions toward the painting] I
see a yearning for freedom. Do you have a title?
Jack: "A Time to Kill."
Marge: Titles are hard.
-- These little comments are, too, "Pokey Mom"
% Homer takes Dr. Hibbert's referral to see Dr. Steve, a chiropractor.
% Homer lies down, and Dr. Steve performs a spinal adjustment.
Homer: Hey! It feels a little better.
Steve: Mmm-hmm. I thought it might. Now, I'll need to see you
three times a week for, uh ... [reads a chart] ... many
years.
-- "Pokey Mom"
% In the kitchen, Marge bakes a batch of cookies.
Lisa: So, how was it in the slammer?
Marge: Terrific. Bart, Sideshow Bob says he'll be seeing you
real soon.
Bart: [laughs] Oh, that Bob.
-- Coming attractions, "Pokey Mom"
% Marge tells the kids that Jack, her "diamond in the rough," is up
% for parole. The cookies are to help win the favor of the parole
% board. Bart asks for one, but Marge tells him he has to finish his
% sundae. Bart reluctantly takes a couple more bites.
%
% Jack's parole hearing convenes.
Jack: I'm sure your macaroons are scrumptious, Marge, but I've
seen this warden turn down brownies -- honest-to-goodness
brownies.
Warden: Next. [eats a cookie, then sees the next man is Jack]
Oh, it's you. Well, just let me ink up my old "denied"
stamp.
Marge: Warden, please. This man is a gentle soul. I know he's
made mistakes, but someone with his talent belongs on a
boardwalk doing caricatures, not behind bars.
Warden: Lady, I know he charmed you with some "please"s and "thank
you"s, but he wasn't so polite to the guy he shot.
Apu: Actually, he was. He waited with me 'till the ambulance
came, then ran like a deer.
Warden: Well, that's mighty nice, but if I let this creep out,
would you like him skulking around your neighborhood?
Marge: Honestly, it wouldn't bother me.
[the parole board members confer amongst themselves]
Warden: Well, lady, I'm gonna call your bluff. The prisoner is
hereby paroled into your custody. [bangs gavel]
Marge: [gasps] Oh, oh my goodness.
Jack: I'm free? [tries hugging her, but accidentally chokes her
with his handcuffs] Jeez, I'm sorry. Sorry! [loops the
chain of his handcuffs over Marge's hair, so he can hug
her without killing her] You won't regret this.
-- "Pokey Mom"
% Marge lets Jack bunk in her basement.
Marge: I hope this is okay. It's not very prison-y.
Jack: It's more than I deserve, ma'am. Now, which way is Mecca,
'cause I got to do a little praying.
Marge: Uh, Mecca? Well, let--
Jack: [laughs] No, I'm just yanking your chain. I'm Jewish.
-- "Pokey Mom"
% Homer rakes up some leaves and puts them in a trash can, which
% aggravates his back condition.
Homer: Oh, my back! Dr. Steve didn't do anything.
Bart: Did you do those exercises he gave you?
Homer: Yeah, right. I did 'em while you were studying.
[the both laugh. Bart gives Homer a high five, and Homer
falls backward over a trash can] Oh! Ow!
Bart: Dad? Are you okay?
Homer: Yeah. In fact, [gets up] I feel fantastic. [does a
little dance]
Bart: That trash can must have un-kinked your back.
Homer: Not trash can, son -- Dr. Homer's Miracle Spine-O-
Cylinder! [protectively] Patent pending.
-- Homer protects his intellectual property rights, "Pokey Mom"
% At dinner, Homer explains that the dents in his can -- er -- Spine-
% O-Cylinder exactly match the "vertebrain" in the human spine. He
% notices that Jack is a guest for dinner, and isn't too happy that an
% ex-con has seen his unpatented invention. Fortunately for Homer,
% Jack has no designs on Homer's invention. He just wants a job.
% Marge thinks for a moment, and then has an idea: Jack can get a job
% at Springfield Elementary.
%
% Homer starts treating patients with his Spine-O-Cylinder.
Lenny: So, Homer. You think you can fix my sciatica?
Homer: I don't know what that is, so I'm going to say, "yes."
Now, go limp.
Lenny: I'm limp.
Homer: One, two, better not sue. [pushes Lenny backward over the
trashcan]
Lenny: Ow. Hey, it worked! My searing leg pain is now a gentle
numbness. [leaves]
Homer: Next!
Frink: Yes. Uh, my car seems to have broken down, and I was
wondering if I could use your-- [Homer pushes him over the
can] Oh, that's a pushing motion ...
Steve: [walks in] Simpson! You're not a licensed chiropractor,
and you're stealing patients from me and from Dr. Steffi.
Homer: Boy, talk about irony. The AMA tries to drive you guys
out of business, now you're doing the same to me. Think
about the irony.
Steve: [grabs Homer by the collar] You've been warned. Stop
chiropracting.
Homer: Not unless you think about the irony.
-- "Pokey Mom"
% Marge goes to bat for Jack at the Elementary School. She arranges a
% meeting with Principal Skinner, Jack, and herself.
Marge: I read in the "Daily Fourth Gradian" that you need
someone to paint a mural.
Skinner: Yeah -- school spirit is down 3.4%.
Marge: Well, Jack here will do great work for you.
Skinner: Oh, any references?
Jack: Well, to be honest with you, I spent the last six
years in Waterville State.
Marge: [quickly jumping in] It's a small liberal arts
college. Very law-abiding. No convicts at all.
Skinner: Well, the only other one to apply was Moe Szyslak
and his stuff scares the hell out of me. [unfolds,
and looks at, a small drawing Moe did] Eugh. How
can anyone consider *that* making love? [turns to
Jack and Marge] All right, Jack -- you're hired.
I'll clear you out a cubby. [leaves]
Jack: You told a lie for me.
Marge: I know. But the Lord will forgive me if it will
help you get a second chance.
Jack: Actually, Marge, it's a third if you count that farm
couple.
Marge: Farm couple?
Jack: But I've got a really good feeling about this one
Marge, I really do.
Marge: [nervously] Mmmmmm.
-- Third time's the charm, "Pokey Mom"
% [End of Act Two. Time: 13:19]
%
% Jack is close to finishing his mural, which shows a warrior princes
% riding a fierce puma. The kids really dig it.
Finally -- art that doesn't suck!
-- Nelson, "Pokey Mom"
% Skinner has a dissenting opinion.
Skinner: Dear Lord, what are you doing?
Jack: You don't like it?
Skinner: No, no, it's all wrong. The shapely female form has
no place in art.
Jack: But, what I thought is --
Skinner: I sketched out exactly what I wanted.
Jack: Yeah, I know, but see what I was going for here --
Skinner: Did you even look at the napkin? [unfolds a napkin,
which has Skinner's concept for the mural drawn on
it. It's a cloying picture of a happy cartoon puma
holding hands with a boy and girl, walking under a
rainbow]
Oh, I was in the zone that day.
Jack: Yeah. You see, I didn't want to go so cutsey-
wutsey.
Skinner: Because ... ?
Jack: Because it's not my ... style.
Skinner: Well, if you want to keep your job you'll *make* it
your style.
Jack: All right. You're the boss man, ain't ya?
Skinner: Darn right, I'm the boss. Don't forget, I can send
you back where you came from, college boy.
[Jack sighs and begins to whitewash his old mural]
-- Artistic differences, "Pokey Mom"
% Jack works out his frustrations by doing pull-ups in the basement.
% Marge encourages him to go along with Skinner's demands, at least
% until he establishes himself as an artist. Jack agrees. He also
% asks Marge for permission to make booze in the washing machine.
% Marge insists he finish his sundae first. As Jack reluctantly eats
% the dessert, Marge wonders what the problem is with her sundaes.
%
% In the garage, Homer finishes treating Moe's back.
Homer: Okay, that should do it, Moe.
Moe: Hey, it don't hurt no more. Now I can focus on my
crippling emotional pain. [looks off in the distance] Oh,
Daddy, Daddy, why? Why won't you hug me? You hugged the
mailman.
[two well-dressed men enter the garage]
Man 1: Excuse me, sir, is this "El Clinico Magnifico?"
Homer: Ah, you saw our bus ad.
Man 2: We'd, uh, like to invest in your spinal adjustment device.
Homer: We might be able to do business. [giggles to himself]
Man 1: We'll need to take some photographs. [the two men take
the Spine-O-Cylinder and walk out of the garage]
[Homer tries to stop them by closing the garage door, but
the men limbo under it]
Homer: Wait a minute -- no investor can bend like that.
Moe: They're chiropractors!
[outside, the two men are bashing the Cylinder with
doctors' models of the spinal cord. Dr. Steve waits in a
nearby truck]
Steve: C'mon, c'mon, let's go! [the two men get in the truck,
which peels out]
Homer: No! My Spine-O-Cylinder! They'll pay for what they did
to my can.
Moe: [consoling] Forget it, Homer. It's Chiro-town.
-- Hell of a welcome wagon, "Pokey Mom"
% Skinner dedicates the new mural.
Skinner: You know, when Superintendent Chalmers suggested a
school mural, I almost thought he said a, "school
Muriel."
[Skinner laughs, but the audience is dead silent]
Muriel's his sister. And, uh ... [shotgun cocks]
Well, thank you, Bruce Vilanch.
Vilanch: Whoopi would've made it work.
-- "Pokey Mom"
% Skinner unveils the mural, which is a professionally-done version of
% what he sketched on the napkin. The students' reaction to the
% painting is as dismissive as Crowley's. Even Flanders thinks the
% drawing is too sugary.
Chalmers: Skinner! How are we going to raise school spirit
with this sappy hokum.
Skinner: I know sir, it's an embarrassment. [to Jack] This
isn't what I wanted. Where's the edge?
Jack: I followed your napkin.
Skinner: No napkin can wipe the crumbs of failure from your
mouth.
Marge: Now, don't fight. All great art is controversial at
first, but years from now, people will point to
these cuddly little creatures and say, "That's a
Jack Crowley."
[Jack growls softly]
-- "Pokey Mom"
% Skinner plans the school lunch menu.
Skinner: Now, uh, pizza's working well on Thursday, but I
think the kids will follow it to Tuesday.
Willie: That's what you said about the stuffed peppers, and
you lost the young males.
-- "Pokey Mom"
% Just then Milhouse runs into the room, warning that the school is on
% fire. Specifically, it is the mural that is burning, leading
% Skinner to suspect that Jack is the culprit. Marge tries to defend
% Jack, but accidentally lets it slip that he's an ex-convict. "Dear
% Lord," Skinner says, "I've peed in front of him!"
%
% The old mural burns off, miraculously revealing the original
% painting. This one is a big hit with the kids. Not for long,
% though, because this mural goes up in flames, too.
%
% The Fire Department arrives and extinguishes the wall. Skinner
% wants Crowley back behind bars.
Skinner: That felon could have torched the whole school, were
it not stuffed with asbestos.
Wiggum: We'll catch Crowley. And then he'll learn the fine
art of police brutality.
-- "Pokey Mom"
% Marge finds Jack hiding in a play pipe. He assures her that he
% didn't burn the mural, and Marge hatches a plan to help him out.
% Carrying a paper bag, she approaches Skinner and Wiggum.
Marge: Oh, Chief! I found some evidence that points to the
real arsonist. [points to the bag]
Wiggum: Well, let's see it.
Marge: Not yet. You have to guess what it is.
Skinner: We don't have time for guessing games!
Wiggum: Nah, let's try it. It might be fun. Is it DNA?
Marge: [noncommittal] Hrmm.
Wiggum: So, it's like DNA. Um, a hatchet?
Skinner: You had a turn. I want to guess.
Marge: [looks offscreen] Oh, Jeez ...
[cut to Skinner's car, which is ablaze. Jack,
holding a gas can, dances around it maniacally]
Skinner: My car!
Jack: [cackles] Puma pride! Puma pride! [laughs] Catch
the fever, Skinner!
-- That's going to hurt his case, "Pokey Mom"
% Jack, naturally, is arrested. As he sits in the back of Wiggum's
% cruiser, Marge gives him a piece of her mind.
Marge: You crumb-bum! You looked me right in the eye and lied to
me.
Jack: Marge, this is the God's truth: I burned the mural, but I
did not burn Skinner's car.
Marge: I just saw you! Get him out of here, Chief.
Wiggum: Yes, ma'am.
-- "Pokey Mom"
% Wiggum and Jack drive into the sunset.
Wiggum: My wife and I like watching that "Oz" show on HBO. Uh, is
... is prison really like that?
Jack: Wouldn't know. We only get basic cable.
Wiggum: Ouch. I also like that "Sex in the City." None of those
girls looks like my wife. [laughs]
Jack: "Sportscenter's" not bad.
Wiggum: Yeah, I never got that show.
Jack: What's to get? They just tell the scores.
Wiggum: Yeah, I suppose, yeah. Hey, ya meet any Mob guys? Are
they really like the Sopranos?
Jack: I told you, we just get basic cable.
Wiggum: Oh right, right, right. Listen, if I'm getting too
chatty, just, uh, just tell me to shut up.
Jack: Ah, I'm enjoying it. Hey, you ever watch them strongman
contests? They're pretty good. Those guys look strong.
Other guys in prison say they're gay, but I don't know;
they look strong to me.
-- Police Car Confessions, "Pokey Mom"
% [End of Act Three. Time: 20:14]
%
% Normal end credits and Gracie Noise.
==============================================================================
> Contributors
==============================================================================
{al} Andrew Levine
{bjr} Benjamin Robinson
{ddg} Don Del Grande
{dj} Darrel Jones
{jc} Jeff Cross
{jg2} Joe Green
{jlm} Jesse L. McCann
{mg} Matt Garvey
{ps} Paul Schleck
{sa} Steve Alpert
==============================================================================
> Legal Mumbo Jumbo
==============================================================================
This episode capsule is Copyright 2003 Benjamin Robinson. It is not to be
redistributed in a public forum without consent from its author or current
maintainer (capsules@snpp.com). All quoted material and episode summaries
remain property of The Simpsons, Copyright of Twentieth Century Fox. All
other contributions remain the properties of their respective authors. The
Quote and Scene Summary itself is Copyright 2002 Benjamin Robinson. This
capsule has been brought to you by Waterville State Prison.
This work is dedicated to Raymond Chen, James A. Cherry, Ricardo Lafaurie,
Frederic Briere, and all of those who made episode capsules what they are
today.