Chemo

Cancer sucks. Chemo sucks. But you know what sucks even more is the fact that with cancer and chemo come restrictions. Yep, that's right. Not only is your life one big ball of uncertainty and you are being poisoned from the inside out, but you can't even have freaking sushi to make it all better. … Continue reading Sushi Night

The day I was diagnosed and told it would be six months and 12 treatments of chemo, I told myself "you can do anything for six months." And I did. I battled and fought and clenched my teeth for six months. I smiled and put on silly wigs. I answered a million questions about how … Continue reading The Days after Chemo Number 12

That's it. We are done. I know there should be this grand celebration, fireworks of emotions. But to be honest, I am just too tired. Just give me a week and the fireworks will come out. I have watched my mother's cut-out paper numbers dwindle down. And despite the fact that 59 followed 60, 29 … Continue reading Chemotherapy Treatment Number 12

We are down to the last two. I would be a liar if I said these are not really kicking my ass. Usually walking into Day Care is a pleasure - the nurses are all smiling and I am pretty mentally prepared. But this time, I just didn't feel good. I felt heavy. Mom was … Continue reading Chemotherapy Number 11

When I initially got diagnosed with Hodgkins, I immediately when into research mode. Ok, interwebs...tell me everything I need to prepare for these next months. I combed through every symptom and possibility. I knew what a good PET scan looked like before I ever got one. I have some issues with being in control and … Continue reading The Worst Symptom of All

The usual symptoms persist: Fatigue Gas Feeling flushed More fatigue The tight chest That being said, this time we have some new symptoms to add to the pile of fun: Hemorrhoids - yep, that's right. As if the the gas wasn't enough, let us throw in painful shits. Never in my entire life would I … Continue reading The Days After Chemo Treatment 10 – The Symptoms

I can't believe that I am finished with my fourth round. Only one more round (two sessions) left. One month is nothing but feels like forever. When I visualize the road, it gets more narrow, like I am Alice looking through the looking glass. There is no way I can fit and yet, the chemo … Continue reading Chemotherapy Treatment Number Ten

I have been putting off writing this one because the days after chemo have been a rollercoaster of emotions and feelings. As I indicated about this chemo, my mind wasn't in the right place for the beginning of round number 5. I am just done. I am done feeling ill. I am done feeling tired. … Continue reading The Days After Chemo Number 9

Only four more. That's what I keep telling myself and what my people keep celebrating. To the outside world, four more sounds like nothing. But to me, the person going through it, four more is the worst. I am just done with this. And this treatment was probably the worst of the lot. Not because … Continue reading Chemotherapy Treatment Number 9

Chemo was postponed. Which means that recovery was postponed. A Poem Saturday I was tired. Sunday I was ok. Monday I was stubborn. Tuesday I worked all day. Saturday was spent on the couch watching hours of The Good Wife. At least I had recovered from the day of actual chemo. I was able to … Continue reading The Days After Chemo Number 8