No one demanded to know if Steve Sarkisian had violated NCAA rules within his first minutes on the job as USC’s football coach.

Instead, Sarkisian talked only about being “humbled” and “honored,” used the word “awesome” three times in his opening statement and joked about how bad a baseball player he once was at USC.

Silly Sark. For someone who supposedly was hired in part because of his acute appreciation of Trojan history, he completely whiffed in carrying on the tradition started four years ago by Lane Kiffin.

At his introductory news conference, Kiffin was hammered with questions about his integrity to the point where then-athletic director Mike Garrett had to step in and insist that reporters move on to another topic.

A short time later, that topic had become one of Kiffin’s assistant coaches, Ed Orgeron, who was backed against a brick wall by reporters demanding to know if he had already broken rules by illicitly trying to sway recruits to USC.

On Tuesday, Sarkisian didn’t even bring along any of his assistants. He brought only his wife and three kids and his parents, Mom and Dad sitting in the front row, beaming as if their son were accepting an award from the Boy Scouts.

Silly Sark. Asked about which assistant coaches he might hire away from his old staff in Washington, Sarkisian wouldn’t even mention any names. Then he called himself “the luckiest guy in the world” and said someone or something was “awesome,” we just can’t recall who or what exactly.

Now, in many cases, this portion of the column would be reserved to evaluate the wisdom of the hire, to critique the job done in this instance by Athletic Director Pat Haden, to predict the future of the team in question.

But who are we kidding? No one knows if Sarkisian is the right choice and, by no one, we mean NO ONE!!!

In addressing Orgeron’s sudden and emotional departure from USC on Monday, someone at Sarkisian’s news conference admitted that the former interim head coach “could have been a great choice here. Who knows?”

And that someone was … Haden, the very man whose job it was to get this decision right, the only person who possibly could know. If Haden is asking “who knows?” then we all have to be asking who knows?

For his part, Sarkisian thinks he knows. He announced his intention to “not shy away from expectations” and to “win championships.” Then, rallying Trojan faithful everywhere, he said, “Rebuilding is not a word around here.”

Silly Sark. The moment wouldn’t have been more “Fight On” had he made his proclamation while sitting astride Traveler and directing the marching band in a rousing rendition of “Tusk.”

Where Sarkisian had a news conference Tuesday, Kiffin once had a semi-civil gathering of angst and unrest. Sarkisian stood before us proudly. Kiffin stood before us defiantly. Sarkisian answered questions. Kiffin answered accusations.

This most certainly is a fresh start for USC football, a move forward by reaching back, Sarkisian returning to the Trojan Family – yes, it is capitalized around here – for a fifth time.

We could make a joke about how, if USC is such a great place and really is Sarkisian’s home, he wouldn’t have left four times already. But he did so in each case for a better job, finally returning this time for the best job.

“I have a firm belief in myself,” Sarkisian said. “That’s not arrogance, by any means. That’s just a firm belief in who I am and what I’m capable of doing.”

Silly Sark. Arrogance? We just had enough of Kiffin to understand what true arrogance is and what encourages it – a man repeatedly receiving glowing head coaching opportunities despite still not proving he’s capable of head coaching.

Haden is being criticized in some places today because the hiring of Sarkisian isn’t “sexy” enough. Well, remember USC once made a splashy hire in Rick Majerus and how that one turned out.

We’re not entirely sure who, among the other candidates mentioned for this job, would have been better. But we are certain that anyone who says Jon Gruden has a different definition of sexy than we do.

Like it or not, the Trojans have their new football coach and, at least for now, we’re going to side with the Rhodes Scholar, even if Haden readily admits he doesn’t really know.

“We can evaluate the hire a year, two, three, four down the road,” Sarkisian said. “If we’re beating UCLA, if we’re beating Notre Dame, if we’re winning championships and competing for national championships, it’s a good one. If we’re not, it’s not. Let’s get to that point instead of judging on pure speculation.”

Silly Sark. He should know as well as anyone, including Kiffin, who also was reminded right from the start. Around here, you can demand many things, but don’t even try asking for patience.

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