How to act around a girl you liked but she rejected you?

It's a weird dynamic because we were very friendly and used to text a lot and hang out, but then when I started to ask her to go on more "date-like"...
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It's a weird dynamic because we were very friendly and used to text a lot and hang out, but then when I started to ask her to go on more "date-like" activities, in the beginning she was okay, then later she started to give me the run around. When I look back on it, it's a little embarrassing because I didn't realize I should have gotten the hint, but that's okay since I never asked anyone out before.

That was during a semester in college and now I'm starting a new program at a different school and out of nowhere she's on the roster list. I haven't see her for maybe seven months.

The thing is she dropped me like a rock...like we were at one time at a level where if we went our separate ways she would have called up to see what's up and how things are going, but I didn't hear a peep from her at all and I tried to re-initiate, but she shut me down, generally by ignoring me (again, embarrassing, but I didn't know).

Now I think it'll feel weird when I see her. Should go over to myself and say hi to her or wait until she initiates? Because obviously she didn't care if she was bothered by me so I don't want to look like a fool, like a guy who's just hanging around, orbiting her. I would much rather talk to other girls and find someone who likes me.

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Most Helpful Opinion

I've been in a similiar situation. I'm a girl and I acted the same way in frount of a male friend who asked me out. ok this is why she is doing it: she is scared of telling you no or rejecting you so she passively does it by not wanting to hang out or telling you "maybe later." I did the exact same thing when a male friend asked me out just because I felt bad saying no since he was my friend. I too, haven't spoken to the male friend I rejected and it is because I feel that if I DO he will think that I'm into him and that I wanna date him...she also probably feels that if she starts talking to you, you will assume that she is interested in you suddenly and willing to give you a chance. I think the best way to sort it all out is to actually tell her: hey look, I know I liked you before and asked you out but it's ok if you don't feel the same. I just wanna be friends and not wanna loose the friendship because I value the friendship...I'm nolonger persuing you or interested in that way...something like that...in honest truth, if she thinks you might persue her or ask her out she will NOT talk to you for a WHILE...maybe in like a year or even never just because she is affraid and embarassed to say something...for example, I haven't spoken to the male friend I rejected in about 5 months and its because I feel bad approuching him...but I WOULD talk to him if he came up to me first and appologized or w/e...so yea say something like that****please help answer my question

What Guys Said 4

I know...... I hope she doesn't think I'm stalking her. I think I'm worried about that the most. I say this because she told me she was applying to the program before when we were talking and then when we weren't talking, I decided to apply there on the last day of the deadline and it was only recently that I decided to go there because it's my best option. But I had no idea she got in or anything.

Opinion Owner

I had a similar thing happened where I ended up going to the same college as a girl who had rejected me during the summer now goes . it was all really akward but after a while we just seemed to ignore each other and not even care that were each here .

Just don't talk to her and keep on moving. She just wants your attention. She knows how you feel about her and she is just trying to get her kick out of this, in other words she enjoys the chase. You need to stop talking to her all together and start dating other women. Don't even say hi. The moment you say anything to her she is secretly laughing her ass off and telling her friends how she has you wrapped around her. She dropped you because she couldn't "see herself with you". Don't be "friends", move on completely, and date many women. Who knows, when you become the alpha male in college she might start chasing you.

For the eye contact just look away. If she says hi just say "what's up" but keep moving. If you have another woman on your arm, she won't say anything to you at all... This is one of the reasons why you have to start dating other women. She is looking for attention, so don't give her what she wants...

Asker

Ok, I get what you're saying, but one question: wouldn't ignoring her kind of show her that it affected me that she rejected me and therefore give her satisfaction? Then again, the only other option is to give her attention, which is exactly what she wants.

Opinion Owner

Ignoring her is moving on, moving forward WITHOUT HER. You need to just go to places and go different directions so you don't see her. When you aren't near her, she doesn't know what you are doing, and the curiosity will get to her after a while. Hanging near her or even being in the same place looking at her, she notices. If you have someone new while she is near... This is why you should be dating other women.

I'd say, you should say hi but, say it the way you would to an acquaintance, not someone who you previously tried to ask out. Make sure that through your actions and subtext that she knows that you are completely fine with the situation and that you don't consider your value as having dropped any because of it. I wouldn't keep acting like everything was the same though. I'd make sure that she doesn't feel awkward but, that she knows that you are over it and don't mond but that you can still get other girls if you wanted to.