This setup gives me exactly what I need, except it puts a black row stroke after my first row after the header. I just want the first row stroke to be after the 2nd row (or 3rd row, if you count the header). But it's like it keeps including the header.

ALSO:

I would like to be able to set the header, row heights, left indent, etc., for my tables, but there is nowhere to do that in the table style. Very frustrating, because you can do it manually in the toolbar or menu bars (table options that are not available in the style), and then it overrides your styles.

I have a feeling this may be based on not understanding how table style, paragraph style, cell style and character styles, along with their "based on" settings coincide, but there are far too many combinations of those for me to grasp at this time.

Figured it out, but I'd still like to know how to adjust ROW HEIGHT and COLUMN WIDTH in my table styles. It appears that if you highlight a row or table, and then change those settings in the upper toolbar, that it does not affect the style. But that's an arduous manual way to have to do it. I would think these settings could be automated somehow. Thanks.