Abandon hype, all ye who enter here.

he likes me! he really likes me!

July 21, 2015

As always, there is plenty to worry about these days. ISIS is experimenting with chemical weapons. Racism in the U.S. is not quite as resolved as the GOP would have us believe. Greece seems to control the fate of the world economy.

Here on the farm, the drought and extreme fire danger continues. Our geologist friend Tim just informed us that we live on the top part of the Cascadia subduction zone, which is much more likely than the San Andreas fault to deliver The Big One soon enough. And my beloved San Francisco Giants may not have enough pitching to make it to the playoffs this season.

However, all my anxiety dissipated recently when I learned that Donald Trump likes me because I ventured into a war zone and didn’t get captured. I know you’re aware of the newest Trump controversy, where John McCain was tossed into The Donald’s ever-growing “Losers” bin because he was shot down and spent five years as a POW. McCain now must hobnob with the tsunami of imaginary Mexican rapists overtaking Texas and his very own Arizona..

I have mixed feelings about McCain. He’s had some admirable legislative achievements, yet he agreed to have the albatross who is Sarah Palin hung around his neck. I have mixed feelings about my time in the Marine Corps, too. But I stand with McCain as a a fellow veteran who got caught in the tractor beam of history and continues to take his lumps for it.

It’s especially galling to take such ignorant criticism from a ferret-haired fuckhead. Trump’s specialty is the sweeping statement. The sweepingest of them (so far) is his pronouncement that as POTUS he would simply snuff out ISIS and its ilk as easily as he fires an apprentice.

This is a dangerously naive notion. It would be more dangerous if Trump was a serious candidate. Even though a recent poll shows him as the frontrunner with Iowa Republicans, it was taken before the McCain flap. He’ll likely lose lots of ground because of that.

Americans are eerily bipolar about their veterans. They will elect and re-elect folks who do precious little to address massive ongoing problems like the V.A. fiasco and veterans’ suicide rates. But when some simpler, more symbolic issue comes along, the air is filled with waving flags.

Despite my disgust for Trump, I hope he stays around long enough to sabotage the Republicans in 2016. He’s vain enough and rich enough to do what Ron Paul did in 1992: pull enough votes away from the GOP candidate to let the Democrat win. In other words, The Donald could be a kingmaker. Or, if Hilary’s the candidate, a queenmaker.

At the very least, I hope he stays around long enough to give Jon Stewart oodles of material for his remaining weeks on The Daily Show.

(Addendum: Thank you, Peter Whyte, for pointing out that it was Ross Perot, not Ron Paul, who cost George H.W. Bush the election in 1992.)