Vin Mazzaro

Here we go, the last one in my series. The big finale. The crème de la crème. The ultimate in baseball knowledge. I hope I don’t cry, I’m very emotional. In case you missed my other masterpieces, here you go:

Out of the fire and into the Frieri pan, or as the Sciosciapath would say, buffet Thursdays. Ernesto Frieri has imploded you ratios the past 10 days and has been put into a closer-by-committee type situation. This is ungood for fantasy purposes twofold; first no one wants to roster the remaining parts of the Angels bullpen, namely Dane de la Rosa or the like. Second, after he has taken a steaming pile of feces on your team, do you really want Frieri to remain. Well Daniel Bryan is currently a yes man so think of him on opposite day. The Angels best option to take the job is currently back in the rotation; Garret Richards was doing swell in the pen until the Angels were sucking fumes in the first 6 innings of games and needed some youthful infusion. So now we are stuck in a CBC holding pattern until Frieri figures his hiccups out or some one like “Chaka” Kohn or the loosely translated “damage of the rose” emerges. Stay tuned or don’t, I have plenty of Dipsy Doodles to occupy my time.

So down goes a top ten guy in an off week where I talk about set-up guys. Jason Grilli is beset with a forearm strain and up steps the league leader in Holds, Mark Melancon. Melancon has been spooktacular this year, and if wasn’t owned prior to the injury then your league is hot garbage. Sorry, but truth is truth. So the pecking order in the ‘Burgh now reads like this, which really isn’t devoid of good RP this year. I see Tony Watson and Justin Wilson splitting the left-handed set-up duties and Bryan Morris and Vin Mazzaro to continue their RH dominance. If given the opportunity, Victor Blackcould be brilliant, so keep an eye on him. Not one guy is going to run away and garner the hold chances that Melancon has gotten to date this year so it is going to be a mish-mosh of hold chances. Also factor in that the Pirates are in some trade rumors for some end game help and the rosterability of all these guys is tough to call until we know how long Grilli is under the weather. Enjoy the week to come.

*It should be noted that use of the Razzball Glossary is highly suggested in order to make any sense of the Title Heading of this article. It is likely that the development of Razzball’s own unique symbolic system may well create the long-term effect of the formation of a Greygambelian cult, but that is outside the parameters of this article.Please, blog, may I have some more?

Carlos Marmolregained the ninth inning duties Friday night as he was called upon to get the save against Boston. Manager Dale Sveum explained he needed more stability and consistency from the tail end of the bullpen. You can’t argue Marmol hasn’t consistently given poor Cubs fans multiple heart attacks (they’re from Chicago so they naturally have multiple attacks). Please, blog, may I have some more?

Paul Goldschmidt homered yesterday for the 2nd time in two games and third in his last four games. He’s also hitting around .400 in the last week. Goldschmidt may have had some Growing Pains, but don’t call him Tracey. Neil Young and I have been searchin’ for a heart of Goldschmidt, and finally AuShizz is translating from German into actual stats. Please, blog, may I have some more?

A cavalcade of stars trampling through your computer like a Colt 45 commercial. Not really, but if they all did… awesome. I would be the first person — make that the second — to die from high fiving. The first, if you must know — was that kid who slept with the hot teacher in high school. Please, blog, may I have some more?

Andrew McCutchen has a mild sprain of the AC joint. Sucks this is happening in the hottest part of the summer. If something happened to my AC right now, I’d be so— The smart part of my brain buried under ten years of pot smoking and alcohol abuse whispers, “The AC joint has nothing to do with air conditioning.” “Shut up, Smart Part Of My Brain. Please, blog, may I have some more?

This is the conundrum of fantasy baseball that leads us to the battle for the final rotation spot. These guys either have one of two options: drive around on a bus with the Savannah Sand Gnats, or float for awhile (swimming is an entirely different sport). Please, blog, may I have some more?