Need your help with early stage man boob

Digital copies of TPM are temporarily out of stock, so I don’t have anything to sell you today.

That means I can use this email to get your advice on a pressing personal matter. DO NOT hit REPLY until you’ve read this entire email.

I’m 42 years old and I have very early stage man boob. How do I fix this?

No, I’m not going to send you a selfie to illustrate. Just know that I can see the beginnings of a little sag that I could see becoming a real insult to my vanity after a few more years.

There are some important caveats that mean a lot of typical advice may not apply to me:

I eat a vegetarian diet and won’t change that, not even under threat of imminent man boob. My favorite meal is whatever way you can combine the maximum amount of fat and carbohydrates into a savory vegetarian dish.

I hate working out in a gym but enjoy stuff like biking and hiking. I’m kind of lazy when it comes to exercise.

What do I do? How do I nip this in the bud so I don’t become an embarrassment to my wife by the time I’m 50? Please hit REPLY and let me know what I should do.