What if I could offer you instant happiness? This happiness could be obtained
without having to take any pills, invest large sums of money, vote socialist
in the next election or meet any new and interesting friends in the county
lock-up. My guess is that most of you would be interested in my offer. Now,
that you're interested, all you have to do is find your way to the nearest
mall or dot com so you can obtain the 2001 release, "Is This It",
by the band The Strokes. It is not merely a collection of tunes; it is an
ecstatic dose of acoustic Wellbutrin.

I'm still trying to figure out what happened with this record even though
I bought it over 18 months ago. One minute I was slogging along with my reactionary,
anti-pop culture friends and deriding this age of musical nihilism and the
next I'm in my living room singing "He won't decide but he won't debate."

I purchased the CD after hearing the addictive radio single, "Last
Night." I usually don't buy a lot of new releases, as I'm often severely
disappointed. It is rare when I find the popular stuff worthwhile. Yet, the
first time I heard the record I knew it was special before the sixth or seventh
song even began to play. Their sound is effervescent and stimulates regardless
of the volume at which they are heard. Many may dismiss their compositions
as being merely "catchy" but I think this is incorrect. There is
a quiet complexity to their sound and, as my friend Grange put it, "They're
so smooth it's actually deceptive– because there's actually a whole
lot going on."

I will acknowledge that their physical appearance is not confidence inspiring.
They appear on television in ultra-trendy dress and their liner note photos
make them look as if they each individually drank three barrels apiece from
the fountain of youth. Yet inexperience and glamour do not contaminate the
end product which vibrates from your speakers.

The truest proof I can offer of their excellence is that "Is This It" did
not leave my CD player for three months time after purchase. I'd give it
a quick play on a daily basis. Only now have I reached the point where the
record infrequently breaks into the rotation but I still appreciate it whenever
it does.

The Strokes have become my default option whenever the need to buy a gift
arises. For my mother's birthday last year, I decided to Amazon her the album
(along with a bunch of other stuff). My mom loved it and when I visited for
Christmas I found the record on her passenger seat, which suggested heavy
use.

One of my friends was going through a nasty bout of melancholia so I decided
to give it to him as a present. He reported to me that the vitality of the
melodies actually made him feel better.

My friend Vic is the only person I know who didn't immediately value The
Strokes. He bought the CD one Saturday and the following week I asked him
what he thought of it. He answered with a lethargic, "It's okay, I guess."

I was incredulous. "You don't like it?"

"Well, you know it's really eighties and you're kind of susceptible
to that sort of thing."

"No, I'm not." I said. "Besides, I don't think it sounds
eightyish."

"Yes it does…Absolutely. That's your era. You're in so deep you
can't even recognize it. That's your sound. That's why you like it."

Now it's important for me to state here that I'm 33 and Vic is 30 so there's
no generation gap between us regardless of what he may say. Yet, I was surprised
to find, about a month later, that when I brought up The Strokes again he
had a different answer. I told him that I couldn't believe he didn't like
their music.

"What?" He answered. "Don't like The Strokes? I love that
record. I listened to it all the way to Colorado. That's the best thing I've
bought in years."

"News to me." I said. "Last time I mentioned it you weren't
enthused."

"Did I? Well I changed my mind."

Since that conversation, after five or six pints, the two of us can sometimes
be found out late on Friday nights spontaneously belting out the fifth track
from "Is This It:"

"In many ways I'll miss the good old days/ Someday / Someday
It hurts to say but I want you to stay / Sometimes / Sometimes
When we was young oh man did we have fun/ Always / Always"

I should warn the reader though that many sophistos have expressed revulsion
towards this band. I praised them to one of the biggest audiophiles I know
and he reacted like I was telling him to eat a plate of zebra muscles. "No,
no, no." He whined. "The Strokes are a concocted band. You can't
like them." He adopted the tone that one uses with a toddler and made
a lot of hand motions. "You see that guy's dad [Julian Casablancas,
the lead singer] is John Casablancas, who's a big celebrity. Without daddy,
there'd be no band. They're spoiled rich kids."

"Who cares about their socioeconomic backgrounds?" I countered. "The
music is sensational. I even love the singer's voice."

My acquaintance shook his head. "Man, his voice is nothing. Can't you
tell he's trying to sound like somebody else? You're being played."

"Whatever." I said. "If you know anybody else who sounds
like that then I'll buy their records too."

He tried to reason with me. "Look, The Strokes are processed cheese.
Wake up. I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't write one lyric or one bar
of their own music. They're totally derivative and, no, they're not from
the eighties. You're friend's nuts. They're a cheap copy of Television from
the seventies." I didn't catch his reference. "You don't know Television?
Well let me give you some suggestions." He then proceeded to recommend
a bevy of "superior" albums to me but I've forgotten most of them
by now.

I did acquire one of his picks, however. It was Televsion's "Marquis
Moon." When I next saw the uber-critic, he was excited that I followed
his advice. "Well, what do you think?" He asked.

"I really enjoyed it…but they're not The Strokes." And that
was the last time he ever gave me any musical suggestions.

Yet, I believe his analysis is superfluous. It doesn't matter who put them
together or for what purpose. Sometimes a band of mercenaries can be melded
into a unit and the end result is a Stanley Cup champion or a Super Bowl
victory. Regardless of influence or history, The Strokes sound grand and
that's enough for me. If you're in the need of $14.99 euphoria, get ready
because this is it.

Bernard Chapin is a school psychologist and adjunct faculty member in Chicago.
He can be reached at emeritus@flash.net.