Here are the unleashed pages of a sober chick in recovery. My journey (date of sobriety) began on June 13th, 2005. For 29 years of my life I was spiritually sick. Emotinally defeated by drunken black-outs, bulimic binging and purging episodes and self-mutilation, I finally surrendered.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Hopeful

Found out last night that 2 more sisters relapsed.

The meeting last night at Casa was not the greatest. It was one of those meetings that you walked away from feeling worse than when you arrived. The message was not strong, confused, more like opinion based. There was lack of unity in the hall, not sure what was up. One of the sisters that was close to a year relapsed. I am angry at her (not good for me) because I know she invited Alexis to this party where the situation happened. I called Alexis last night, she has yet to return my call. I know she was working, and that drugs are not one of her symptoms. I hope she is ok.

I discovered my little sister April is graduating form Casa on Tuesday. This makes me soooooo happy. I hugged her so much last night. It was more selfishly for me I think. 6 months of a great program, and now she will be released into the world. I am staying close to her, she gives me strength. She helped introduce me to my God of my understanding today, this to her I will forever be grateful.

The kittens are going up for adoption. This hurts my heart so bad, and I pray each night that God will help find the right home for them.

Mitch and I will be having dinner tonight to discuss our living situation. I may be moving there permanently, but the rules are to be set. I am not fearful, and will stick closely to my fellowship no matter what.

I was asked by the current Chair of Media Arts and Design to possibly teach a design class at the college. Whoa, I gotta pray on this one. My plate is full with my current occupation at Coaster, and I am at a really good place here. This is such a great corporation to work for, and the team I work with are a delight -- no drama, laughing all the time, and they know -- and they support me.,

My freelance gigs seem to be dropping out of the sky. I keep getting them, and keep taking them, and need to stop. Now this proposition, from the college (different chair this time, but none the less I have only but the deepest respect for C. Heinz as a designer and as a man, he has so many great qualities that resemble Mitch) that I was fired from about a year ago. I am not ready, and really am content where I am at. I do want to teach someday, but not on my time, I still need to work on me and place my recovery first, now, tomorrow, and forever. Gotta overcome this eating disorder, I am getting ready, so tired of the maitenence, so tired.