Pages

Friday, December 14, 2007

How to Give a Tantric Lingam Massage

In Tantra, the penis is called the Lingam, which in Sanskrit can be translated as "Wand of Light." A Lingam massage is a massage of the male genitals using a large variety of strokes and grips. The goals of the Lingam massage are to honor your man's Lingam and to help him to expand his ability to receive pleasure.

The setting and your attitude are what make a Lingam massage a special experience for your man. Prepare a quiet, preferably dim, space with a bed, a futon mattress, or a blanket and pillows on the floor. The temperature in the room should be a little warmer than normal because you will both be nude. Lighting candles or an oil lamp in the room will keep the lighting subdued and also help generate heat. Your oills and lubricants should be within easy reach. Try to get spill-proof bottles and use plastic rather than glass. Make sure that you have a couple of hours where you won't be disturbed.
Begin by breathing together. Stand or sit face-to-face. Embrace or hold hands, look into each other's eyes, and breathe deeply into the belly. Continue looking into his eyes and breathing with him. If you find he is holding his breath, place your hand on his lower belly and remind him to breathe from that place, to "fill his belly" with his breath.

Next, have him lie face down and begin giving him a full body massage. After about 10 minutes, ask him to turn over, and then continue the massage. Advance the massage slowly toward the inner thighs and pelvis until he is breathing deeply from his belly and his body is fully relaxed.

Then, as a show of respect for his male power, ask permission to touch his Lingam. Simply ask, "May I touch your Lingam?" or, if he is more familiar with Tantric terms, "May I touch your Wand of Light?" If he gives you permission, pour a small quantity of massage oil or water-based lubricant on his Lingam and testicles. Rub the oil or lubricant into his skin, beginning at the top of the inner thighs and moving into the crease where his legs meet the pelvis floor. Using slow, steady motions. work along the connecting bone and muscles, releasing tension as you go.

Next, massage above the Lingam, on the pubic bone. Rock your hand over this place, feeling the bone beneath the muscle and skin. Then, move on to the scrotum, gently pulling and kneading his testicles. You will need to pay very close attention to his responses here and encourage him to tell you what is just right for him. Some men can't stand to have their testicles touched at all, while others enjoy stronger handling. Start gently and slowly add pressure, rather than the other way around.

From his testicles, move your hand down to massage his perineum, sometimes called the "sacred spot." Locate the small indentation, about the size of a dime, halfway between the testicles and anus. You can use downward strokes from his Lingam to his anus or a circular motion. Circle and pull at the tissues and gently push inward on the spot with your finger. Since the spot may feel painful at first, only increase pressure as much as he is comfortable with.

Finally, place your hand on his Lingam. As you massage the shaft, gently squeeze his Lingam at the base with your right hand, and pull up, sliding completely off. Then do the same with your left hand—squeeze his Lingam at the base, and pull up, sliding completely off. Then do this again with your right, then your left, and so on. After a while, change directions—slide alternating hands from the top down to the base. Then, take the Lingam between both hands and rub your hands quickly back and forth, as you wanted to start a fire. Hold his Lingam by the head and gently shake it back and forth. Thoroughly massage the head by cupping it in your palm and turning your wrist, making "juicing" motion (as if you are juicing a lemon). Move from the Lingam to the testicles to the perineum and back again, noting his responses.

If, at any point, your man seems close to ejaculation, slow your movements to reduce stimulation and let him cool down before beginning again. If he is very close, but not past the "point of no return," you may be able to delay his ejaculation by squeezing the tip of his Lingam between your thumb and forefinger. Squeeze very firmly and hold it for about thirty seconds. Encourage him to take deep breaths while you do this. Moving to the sacred spot is another way to delay ejaculation. If he starts to feel close, decrease stimulation on the Lingam and increase stimulation on the sacred spot, which should help decrease the pressure to ejaculate.

If you hold back his orgasm six times, a tremendous amount of sexual energy will be stored, which he can either retain and circulate throughout other parts of his body or release. If he chooses to ejaculate, his orgasm will probably be much more intense than usual. Keep reminding him to take deep breaths even as he ejaculates. When the massage is complete, slowly remove your hands and allow him time to relax and savor the pleasure he has just received.

Tantric Sex: A Guide to Tantra Lovemaking Secrets and Practices
is filled with techniques that are guaranteed to increase your sexual
pleasure. Learn how to revolutionize your sex life with Tantric secrets
and practices that will bring you to the furthest reaches of sexual and
emotional fulfillment. To discover new ways to connect with your partner
and revel in orgasms that are whole-body experiences, click here.

I guess since Hinduism isn't really a religion then this makes sense. Hinduism is about worshipping bugs, trees, cows. A false religion. Would you tree-worshippers prefer the word cock, dick, or penis?

No one is defiling Hinduism as the art of Tantra is far older than the dogmatic religions of the Piscean Age religions of Christianity, Islam, Judaism, and Hinduism. All of these dogmatic systems enslave spiritual power and creates the addictions known today as pornography... lifeless and empty uses of the sexuality of humans. Tantra is spirituality and life.

Actually, both Buddhist and Hindu tantras are thought to have arisen around the 7th century. While i know that Tantra has been popularized as sexual, this is left-handed tantra and not widely respected by practitioners of spiritual tantras. What you describe is simply prolonged sex.

Tantric sex is spiritual. The fallacy of the so-called spiritual tantras is that they - like Christianity and Islam - cling to the false dichotomy of spiritual vs. physical. True Tantra seeks to embody spirit, not to "become" spiritual.

Lingam does not mean "penis" or "wand of light" in Sanskrit. It actually means "mark" or "sign." The Shiva Lingum is a representation of Lord Shiva and some have interpreted it as a phallic symbol representing the regenerative aspect of the material universe.

All religious views aside, finding a legit "lingham" massage, or "whole body spiritual massage" practitioner ,or whatever one chooses to call it for whatever reasons, is quite difficult. Let's simplify and not complicate the matter with all of this negative bantar.http://touchtherapy.tripod.com/awakeningtouch/

I would agree with "Huge Lingam" above, that this is actually an amazing massage, and no place for discussions about hindu terminology. Thank you, Jennifer. Thank you so much. It is very well written. I will try it out with my beloved in a couple of days. I work as a masseuse, and will start with and hour or so of full body aroma oil massage, and then proceed with the lingam massage you have described. I'll get back and tell you how it went... ;)With LOVERonja

look at the "legs" this one blog has engendered. Begun in 2007! If practiced as described, gradually the woman can keep the man (with his own skill at not coming to ejaculation) to experience multiple orgasms. Unlike ejaculation with obligatory simultaneous orgasm, the couple can keep the man "on the cusp" (not an atomic part!) as it were, for as long as the couple wishes. During that time the man will enter into a state of bliss. Practiced repeatedly, the man will experience "orgasms" multiple times, without having ejaculation. It takes time, love, openmindedness, commitment etc. but the reward deepens mutual love, carries the man and the woman along each one's paths to Joy and Bliss, and strengthens the bond the couple has. Instead of writing about it, try action. Direct replies to me would be ok, but it deprives us as as a group of ongoing interaction.

A really well written piece Jennifer, thank you. As a Christian, I do suffer from the physical v spiritual tension and would find it hard to relax without ejaculating. But I would love to learn. As a Christian, I believe in sex within a committed relationship between a man and a woman (called marriage). The public commitment before God and man is key. Within the security of such a relationship, sex is to be cherished and enjoyed. What you teach is wonderful in that context. How my wife would react however is the question. If it beings multiple orgasm without ejaculation, how can she think it bad? I hope I get the right moment to ask her. Thank you Jennifer. A wonderfully written piece, as so many have said. Mike from Berkshire.

This kind of massage was nicely performed for some 30 to 60 dollars and finished with a hot towel clean up by 'Oriental Massage' practitioners in many US locations, mainly California, before the moral Fascists shut them down.

Interesting discussion. I have both given and received tantric massages for about 30 years and can tell you that there is a point that all seem to be missing. Yes the practice of sexual tantric massage is only part of a larger picture and yes there are many strong emotions between the viewpoints of the various schools of thought or philosophy. For myself, however, I would like to add the following observation: When done properly, the giver and receiver are both relaxed, in syncopathic rhythm, and the giver can feel the energy of the receiver rise and fall. An experienced giver can control the tempo of the rhythm and the excitement and relaxation so that waves of increasing crescendo occur in the receiver. When done properly between two sensitive and connected people, they start to share the energy and empathetically feel each other's energy as these two individual energies start to entwine into one rhythmic energy. The communication via the energy is part of the secret inner yoga of tantra. As the giver brings the receiver to orgasm, the psychic heat that is produced strengthens the bonds between the two. As the orgasm is achieved, prolonged, made more pleasurable, and repeated again through multiple orgasms, the two experience samadhi, spiritual bliss. The purpose of tantric massage, of tantric yoga, and of tantric sex, is to cojoin the male and female in a divine union of hightened sexual energy bliss. The more spiritual practioners transmute this hightened sexual energy and have it fill their entire body so that it vibrates with the warmth of the secret psychic heat, also known as tummo. This vibration is then kept going as long as possible. Yogin and yogini practice this for months to learn the secret of the psychic heat. This energy is then consciously brought to bear for other non sexual and more highly spiritual purposes by very advanced practioners. The dali lama practices tantric yoga and is the leader of the main Tibetian sect and uses the visualization of yab yum to increase his sexual energy for such spiritual purposes. This is a philosophy that goes way back. So, all in all, it is the connection between the giver and the receiver that I wish to point out has been overlooked somewhat in the blog discussion. I merely wish to bring it back into perspective as this is the essential purpose of the sexual aspect of the tantric massage, to soothe and calm the spirit, to enhance and excite the secret sexual psychic energy, to create the rhythm that joins the giver and receiver together, and for the two to use this cojoined hightened sexual energy to embolden and strengthen the depth and meaning of their relationship. So, have at it. Enjoy those multiple orgasms, and find the deeper purpose.

As the younger one in a relationship with a large age difference, I feel it has been hard for me to offer something he has never had. When I discovered he had never received or given a Tantric massage, that thought changed. He said he had never felt that way before. In addition to that he says his orgasms are stronger than ever after starting these massages. I feel at peace and relaxed when giving him a lingam massage and I don't believe I have ever seen him more relaxed and in bliss when he receives one. I have always been very self concious naked but together we can be undressed during this and feel sexy. In a busy lifestyle and little time to be together, a Tantric massage is the best way to spend with your partner, in my opinion.

I sent Facebook request Jennifer. I would respectfully point to anonymous MAY 26, 2010 10:30 AM Massage is fairly low but it does add up.

Tantra I am only beginning to understand health, social psychological benefits. My family is hugely affected by cancers namely prostate. I finding the release of my toxins prostate messages big difference in my health. Same as was Farah Fawcetts. I respect the huge benefits 1 personal Tantra instructor says I am terrible with words forgive me I quote exactly " Many emotional and psychological issues may be stored in this part of the body dealing with abuse, abandonment and/or rejection. Survival, security, finance, and commitment reside in the Muladhara or root Chakra, located at the base of the spine. When this area is stimulated and released it will greatly increase your capacity to feel pleasure and sensation."End quote I cry

I received an incredible tantric massage and it has hightened the love making between my wife and I. We also went so far as to have a threesome whith another guy and he assisted in the massage of myself. I'm not gay or Bisexual, it was just very spontaneous and happened without shame or embarrassment.

going back to the important post by AFeigenbaum1. tantra represents a certain level of consciousness. A level of non dualism. In Judaism we call it Beriah translates to "creation" The bible starts off with the words berashit bera. anyway i digress. non dualism is a very hard concept to understand because it is so paradoxical. within a unified non dual perspective differentiation is enfolded into the non dual perspective. dualism and non dualism are unified. physical and spiritual are also unified returning the broken world to its true self. the drive to unify sexually built into humans is a template for the connection "as above so bellow". Think of it as retuning everything to original divine design specifications.

Everybody just needs to enjoy this and stop dissecting it. Does it really matter if the right words are being used? I on the other hand have enjoyed reading this and will probably try this on my boyfriend if he is willing.

Hindus' comments should not be taken very seriously as secular education and ignorance of the tantras have made them like that. For that matter, they don't even know that in sanskrit, the generative organ of a God and Goddess are called lingam and Yoni respectively. The generative organ of a human being is called sishna. Still, in the Kamasutra and Ananga Ranga, lingam is referred to as the male organ.

For Hindus, it is time to learn Hinduism and become true Hindus rather than arbitrarily stating nonsense. Europeans know more about Hinduism than Indian calling themselves Hindus.

jenifer lawless you are wrong it says lingram is a sanskrit word hindi the language is derived from sanskrit as is nepali and others i would know i have spent years in both nepal and india if you have not then you might shut up as for all of you thinking it is a fake religion i suggest you also check your facts seeing as i have also studied the religion it is spiritual yes but not to one entity rather many gods if you will that work in unison such as shiva or ganesh so you can keep your mouths shut

Of course, only the anonymous can be such self-proclaimed authorities. Naturally, this self-proclaimed authority also gives the anonymous the right to insult those with whom they disagree. The internet is wonderful, isn't it?

What is wrong with so many people today. This article wasn't written to attack or disrespect anyone, it was meant to help those wanting to find out someting about this technic of massage. I found it informative and helpful, and I'm looking forward to giving it a try. If you aren't interested in it move on to the next result in your google search. I for one am glad Jennifer lawless took her precious time to write, and put it on the web so I could find out about it. There isn't any reason to attack her, like someone else said it is mearly a word, and the Hindu people don't have anymore right to it than anyone else. The only way you can claim someone is defying Hindusim is if they use it to attack someone that is Hindu with the word. Such as "I think anyone that would attack Jennifer Lawless for this article is a great big old Lingam"....Now that is defying someone....

After a massage like THAT !!!No doubt in my mind I'd be wanting and very eager to give her a very special tongue massage to her womanhood ...It would be the right thing to do !! We both have our needs ... right !!

This is a very well written and informative article with many interesting comments but nowhere can I find reference to the word "kundalini" which is surely the energy that rises in true tantra, through the healed chakras, enabling those on the spiritual path to enter into states of bliss and ecstacy for hours, should they so wish!

Very informative. Ive practiced tantra massage for years now and I still have much to learn. This article was very helpful. I did not know to hold back up to 6 times before finally allowing to release. Thank you for sharing your time with us.

You claim to be some kind of expert on the region. I lived for three years in Nepal. There is no such language as Nepali, just as in India they don't speak Indian. Both countries speak multiple languages depending on the region. If you did live there, your ignorance should embarrass you. More likely, you did not live there at all, you probably read something about it on Wikipedia. You describe polytheism like an illiterate grade school student. I don't trust someone claiming to be an authority if they can't use punctuation. All you did was convince me that jennifer is in fact knowledgeable about the subject, and you are not.

MY HEATEDLY GRATITUDE TO THE FOUNDER OF TANTRA. I READ IT AS A HUMAN BEING NOT BEING A HINDU, CHRISTIAN, MUSLIM OR ANYONE ELSE. TANTRA REVEALS THE SACREDNESS OF HUMAN BODY AND OF SEX. AND IT IS ONLY THROUGH TANTRA THAT THE HUMAN BODY IS GIVEN ITS DESERVING PLACE. MY POINT IS THAT BEFORE CONDEMNING OR CRITICIZING ANYTHING ONE MUST APPLY IT TO ONE'S PERSONAL LIFE AND KNOW THE REALITY BY ONESELF. TANTRA ADDRESSES THE WHOLE HUMANITY NOT A PARTICULAR GROUP. IT IS ONLY TANTRA WHICH ACCEPTS HUMAN BEING COMPLETELY WITH ALL HIS POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE BEHAVIORS AND GUIDES TO UNDERSTAND AND TRANSFORM THEM. SO, O FOUNDER OF TANTRA, I DON'T KNOW WHEREVER YOU ARE, YOU ARE LOVABLE AND AN ENLIGHTENED BEING. YOU HAVE GIVEN A TEACHING THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO THAT THE RELIGIONS OF MODERN DAY HAVE FAILED TO DO SO. O FOUNDER OF TANTRA I LOVE YOU, YOUR TEACHINGS OF SEX HAS CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER.

Thanks for the tastefully written article. I am newly separated & just entering my new chapter. I want a spiritual intimate relationship. Your info will help me provide pleasure to whoever God sends into my life ;)

It's a lovely article...my wife and I also use our mouths as we offer our whole selves, bodies, time, effort, attention,care to make each other feel loved... I don't just love my wife I love how she makes me feel. Thank you so much, its people like you who helped us find this part of our world and to complete this part of our life. It really works for us.

Tantra existed long before Hinduism was concocted as a theosophical convergence spiritual warfare religion influenced by Satan. (All major religions have been convoluted.)The Dark Side hide the secrets out in the open all the time- that includes:Shakti who is truly Monotheistic & visible visible by way of Shaktipat;Shiva represents consciousness;& the Pa Taal who are the Creator Gods from the 11th Dimension.(Hide the secrets out in the open twisted references of each of the each above Holy Trinity can be found within The Dark Sides theosophical convergence spiritual warfare religion of Hinduism.)Extra effort was expended to keep the Good Souls of India in the dark because they are so Lovely & India is like the Crown Chakra of the World. <3

I fully agree with Jennifer for her wonderful article, the world knows Lingam = Penis & Yoni = Vagina. Only morons will contest this. Even now Hindus worship the Shiva Lingam, being a Hindu I am proud to worship the Shiva Lingam fully aware that I am worshipping the lingam & he sacred Yoni. I just hope everybody worships the true creator of this universe & live with the way of life. Hinduism is the most nature friendly religion & even the Kamasutra was born in India. Sadly due to 1,000 years of being ruled by foreign invaders Indians themselves do not know what their rich history & culture have taught them. All we learn in school is hypocrisy & diluted history. It is time we know our roots & not disturb people like Jennifer who knows more about Tantra than most Indians do. Kudos to the great lady.

No religion is above the Lingam & Yoni which was taught by The Lord Maha lingam (Shiva) & Goddess Shakti. First get yourself a Tantra massage & then talk instead of being negative. You cannot worship an idol ignoring the real facts, worshiping Lingam will always be Shiva Lingam irrespective of a billion cries.Ask sage Bhrigu for cursing lord Shiva.

Hinduism as such was never known as a religion, it predates all existing religions as Nature's most friendly way of life had to be named as modern religions like islam & christianity started coming so one had to name the nature's religion so it became Hinduism. Due to invaders rule of India Hinduism suffered the most & all its best robbed. Modern Hindu does not know Kamastutra & Tantra which are guides of sex. Liberal Hindus of yore who saw sex as a natural reaction became hypocrites of today who judge sex as perversion due to this cultural dilution. Khajuraho & other cave temples show how modern our ancient culture was. Wish Jennifer posts new articles every day for her fans.

Who is that stupid to bring religion here? Religion is meant for power and control and made by and maintained by the humans. 'HINDU' is not a religion basically but made by the political magic. No true quality Saints ever made any group called religion. King Ashoka the Great was the founder of the first religion system to take control without war. Later religions followed the same or modified system and they too found great success in that, as long as people stay fools, no problem for that. Liberation is our birth right who really need that they will get it without any arguements but with patience and practice. I am sorry if this any way hurt your feelings. But this is a fact.

I want to learn more strokes for his lingam. I get bored, and I think he might too, with the five or six I know that are safe, sensual, and not pain causing. Please teach me new strokes. Why is this information so hard to find?

I feel like a rather selfish person, I look back and the idea of giving sexual pleasure is absurd to me, except for the one I called a muse and Goddess and that out of spite seeing I felt like her Charity case you know.

For me it's just dealing with the existence of myself sex makes me aware of that being in tune, I look back and would think about giving pleasure to a woman in control myself, but it would be a charity case.

I like the idea of sharing something that felt like no other. Yet I am no sex specialist, however I have found a lot of spiritual adventures through sexual relations, I would like to think people think sex is physical and therefore it's not spiritual as it's not for them, and so sometimes we think our distinctions ought to apply, but yes some people use sexuality to heal and help people, and even reach a higher level of awareness.

Mine muse used sex to get me to explore other cultures and see the bigger picture. However, for me sex is a complex issue, it is spiritual and so I can't be with anyone as they are not spiritual enough, yet I wish to share in a way never done before and I wish to be deeply meaningful, I hope to tell share experiences with many people deeply meaningful conceptions, where as people conceive child, they also conceive ideas through communication.

I do think a lot of people do not treat spiritual sexuality specialist with the respect they might deserve, I never knew how powerful sex can be, and why ought it not lead to a greater good seeing it is so special, so being so selfish I often reject the whole Idea of giving pleasure as beneath me. The whole player prayer sex game and the whole control and pride of esteem I thought so lame and such a waste of human effort existing to reproductive burden, however my muse made me see how anything can be pragmatic when tantric is Spirit incarnate.

Everyone has their own ethic in character, I always considered the care of everyone to maximize the common good, but my muse who happen to be J. Leigh just maximized my own care, and she sure showed me up that she could care for me in the same way I care for others but to do it so close just to me she is the first person who loves the way I do, which means we care, but have no respect for what we get back as its never enough. I felt so guilty, whatever do I do for her I am left hurt and feeling selfish being a man and having desire, I always need her in my life.

I just wished she knew, I felt bad about it having so much respect for her, do you think she can forgive me, seeing I too care in my own way as she does , no one can repay me, and no one can repay her for what we go through caring for what we do, she has my respect. It's no wonder I feel like I have so little, I gave my respect to her she needed it more than me.

This was beautiful. I am a beginner / person who wants to achieve a deeper and a stronger connection with its partner therefore read a lot about tantric massage and sex. It often seems technical. The spiritual effect tantric sex has on practitioners should be stressed more often.Thank you!

Thank you so much for this. I'm eager very eager to begin this journey. Information is so hard to find and I appreciate it more than I can articulate. I am a very sensual being. My husband, not so much. I am hoping this is the first step to opening this connection. Please post more!!!

Thank you for such a well written article. Some of the comments written were inspirational.

It is such a pleasure giving and receiving Yoni and Lingam massages and I feel such gratitude being able to assist a people of all genders to awaken into intensities of pleasure which they never thought were possible.