"The PFA does not represent players when they have broken the law and been convicted on non-football matters."- Gordon Taylor in 2009 following Marlon King's release after a prison sentence for sexual assault & ABH

We'd (the UK) would be v chuffed to be shot of Ulster, but yer prods in the 6 counties would never wear it.

If the UK does split up (prob will eventually, but long-term) I think you'd see an independent Northern Ireland in the EU.

/derail

Think the southern Irish government (not the people mind) are happy not to have the north, purely because its such a political headache, thanks to certain orange clad 'doctors' (i cant actually type his name, not without falling foul of the word filter). Total independance is the only alternative for the north

Anyway, the final

England v Germany:

After knocking over the Italians in the quarters (who's tactic of running away then changing sides hasnt worked since 1944), and making the French surrender in the semis (breaking Scotland v Estonia's record of fastest international match), England lined up to face the old enemy. In a re run of the 1966 final, but this time on German soil. Naturally german fans are expectant, almost arrogant. Naturally English fans show blind loyalty despite the fact half the squad have bird flu (the half dead michael carrick is still prefered to the fully fit standby Phil Neville). Due to gangrene Rooney has had his right leg amputated, so sven puts him on the left wing ahead of joe cole

Only one ref can manage such a match. No, not Uriah Rennie, but Pierre Luigi Collina comes back for one match.

Things start bad for Germany, as a high ball goes between crouch's legs and over the defender stood between them, owen chases the ball into the box, provoking the usual 'How dare you f*****g come within 20 yards of me' reaction from Lehman, who promtly pushes him over and demands Owen booked. Unlike Premiership refs, Collina has a spine, so germany are down to 10 men.

Unfortunatly the first half is bogged down with both sides entrenched in their own half. At one point rooney advanced 6 inches to the delight of the crowd, untill they realised he'd lost balance and fallen over. Sven moves in upfront in the hope he can do it again in the box and win a penalty. Play is held up just before half-time due to floodlight failure. Dozy Crouch wasnt looking where he was going and smashed a bulb.

Early in the second half the sides are evened when Beckham earns a red card and the George Cross for kicking Ballack in the Ballacks.

In the 2nd minute of stoppage time, Sven, seeing a major feat of genius is needed to secure the game, subs Crouch before a corner to replace him with Hargreaves. The german players promptly start laughing at the fact that such a p**s-poor excuse for a footballer is on the pitch they dont notice Gary Neville sneak in at the back post to score the winning goal.

In celebration, the Queen officially declares July 9th National Bushy Tache day. America delcares it Dominance Day to celebrate the day an American single handidly won the World Cup, because the Canadians count as their own when it comes to victories.

So there you have it, 1-0 England in the final, Neville for the winner, get down the bookies. I've seen the future

"All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher." - Ambrose Bierce

Langeveldt: I of course blame their parents.. and unchecked immigration!GingerFurball: He's Austrian, they tend to produce the odd ****ed up individualBurgey: Be careful dealing with neighbours whose cars don't have wheels but whose houses do.Uppercut: Maybe I just need better strippers

USA vs England. US wins 2-1 and we can forever laugh at your anonying little game . Imagine that, soccer is way down the totem pole in the US and no one really cares..yet we win the WC. Oh man, that would be absolutely awesome.

USA vs England. US wins 2-1 and we can forever laugh at your anonying little game . Imagine that, soccer is way down the totem pole in the US and no one really cares..yet we win the WC. Oh man, that would be absolutely awesome.

Has a foreign team ever actually been in the final of the 'World' Series of baseball?