Mailbag

mailbag

Do you have any questions about gay Christian relationship? We aren't theologians or counselors, but we'll do our best to answer them. Please keep questions respectful and relevant to the topic of gay Christian dating or relationship.

We’ll publish selected questions along with our answers in an ongoing series of posts every couple of weeks, or as needed. All questions will be posted anonymously, but if you have a fun pseudonym you want us to use, please feel free to sign your letter with it!

If you're wondering if your question has already been asked, do a search, or look through the collection below.

Name or Pseudonym *

Email Address *

Subject *

Message *

_______________________________________________

Thanks for your message! We'll try to get back to you within 48 hours. And if we use your question in a Mailbag post, we'll let you know.

Best,

Dave and Tino

_______________________________________________

Recent posts:

A reader asks, "How does a gay couple navigate the pitfalls and issues of jealousy or envy or even unfounded suspicion when one partner has a close gay friend where there may be room for temptation?" We say that trust is something you’re building every day. Every conversation, every act of service you perform for each other, even every conflict that arises, is an opportunity to either add to or chip away at your trust. Confidence that your partner won’t let you down grows as you become attuned to each other.

Today in our mailbag, a question about wavering attraction at what it might mean: "I just don't seem to even experience much attraction to anyone. I'm in my early 30s and started dating a year or so ago, after years of being closeted and then years of celibacy. In that process I naturally suppressed a lot of emotions and any hints of attraction (which have existed over the years; I don't see myself as asexual). Do you have any insight into what's going on here?"

A question from our mailbag:One big challenge of dating is the “ick” factor. I've been seeing a guy for a month now. We're similar, we have fun together, and I genuinely enjoy him. But it makes me uncomfortable to hold his hand, or to kiss him...And even though my gayness isn’t a secret anymore, I'm horrified of any association with a gay stereotype, which to me includes PDA with other men...

Today we answer a question from the mailbag: "I'm still addicted to porn. There's rarely a day that goes by when I'm not looking at it. And it's hard to walk away from because it works to get my 'intimacy fix.' But it's also gross, and I don't want to be in the same situation a few years from now. It makes me sad to think that I am emotionally or relationally stunted because of this addiction."

A young man wrote to us after he came out to his mom. Her response was hurtful. We thought it was important for him—and so many others like him—to get a virtual “mom hug.” So we asked several moms we know to write messages for him.