May 9, 2015 – Readings in Recovery: Today’s Gift from Hazelden

Treat your friends as you would a bank account – refrain from drawing too heavily on either. — Samuel Johnson

“You know,” somebody admitted, “I’ve never really allowed myself to have good friends.

“I always put myself in two extreme roles. Either I think it’s my duty to ‘save’ everyone, or I think it’s someone else’s function to ‘save’ me. I set myself up for very dissatisfactory relationships that way. I don’t grow very much nor do the people I’m involved with grow much. We get locked into Parent-Child, Teacher-Student, and Counselor-Client kinds of roles.

“I’m tired of empty and lopsided friendships. I want good friends, not parasites or Messiahs running my life. I want friends I can just be me with and not worry whether I’m one-up or one-down on them. I want friends who will accept me as I am and not expect me to have all the answers for all the questions all the time.”

TODAY I will examine what I expect of myself and my friendships. As a friend, do I expect myself to give all the advice and have all the answers? Do I expect my friends to take care of me, and give me all the answers? If my friendships are not satisfactory, I will work on enlarging my concept of what a friend is. I will also work on improving the quality of my own friendship.