A New Year, A New Me

Wow. It’s been awhile. I didn’t think I’d vanished that long. Life has been busy I suppose. We’ve officially moved into our new apartment, though it’s a long ways from being put together. We have a few places finished off, small oases if you will, and others that still need lots of work. The girls’ room always looks like a hell-hole so it’s hard to tell where we are with that. So we plug away slowly, a little bit each night, reminded again and again of how much we worship “stuff” though we have tried hard to declutter and let go of so much already.

This week I started the CrossFit Fast Factory 45-day Challenge. I’ve been feeling pretty terribly about myself for awhile, learn to tolerate my new body but inevitably fall back into self-loathing. Finally it seemed about time to either give up bitching about it and feeling bad and embrace my double chin I’m growing or do something about it. It didn’t help that my CrossFit friends mentioned it to me when I was slightly intoxicated on New Year’s Eve- you know, that slight buzz you get where everything sounds like a good idea.

So, now I’m hangry (hungry + angry), sore, but slowly seeing changes in the scale and my endurance already- only a week in! Yes, I can eat all the protein and healthy veggies I want, but it’s not the buttered toast, pasta, pizza and other things I love. Saturdays are my “day off” and I get a free 12 hr pass to eat whatever I want. Oh, I have a list already- too long to even mention. Coffee with creamer- oh delicious creamer- is top of my list.

Do I love it? Well… that might be stretching it, but I am enjoying the comradery and the encouragement I feel from the Fast Factory team and my friends and family. I am enjoying putting myself first, being able to eat without guilt, feeling accomplished, and hell, I’m sleeping real good at night.