Life's Lessons

Confession time...although bare and impregnation get me HOT, out of my over 200 lovers I can count on my two hands the number that I have allowed to fuck me bare. And I have children with three of those. This is the true story of one of the others...not only does it have really hot sex, but I think a valuable lesson about relationships.

How about we call him Leo? I met him on-line; a Yahoo chat room if I remember correctly. I had just ended a three-month long distance relationship, which meant I had only been getting cyber, phone and masturbation for awhile. I was usually a pretty safe kind of girl: always meeting someone for the first time for coffee in Starbucks. I mean you hear horrible stories about meeting people on the Internet. But like I said, it had been several months since I actually had a big black cock buried in my hot wet white pussy and I admit that might have made my thinking less than clear.

For whatever reason, after chatting for Leo on-line and then on the phone, I did the very unusual thing of deciding to drive to his house; out in the valley...that was over an hour from my east Los Angeles apartment. I grabbed a handful of condoms (girls, when it is important always take your own) and got in my little car for the drive at nine o'clock at night. God, I must have been horny as hell to do something so stupid.

When I got there, Leo was everything a girl could hope for, i.e. he was a gentleman and we actually talked a bit...before he jumped my bones. I admit it; he was a tad thinner and lighter than I prefer my men. He did have some very impressive qualifications though; about ten inches of them actually. Not a guy's ten inches mind you: a real ten inches. Enough to hit places most men miss, but not enough to do any lasting damage. I admit it: if cocks were all that mattered in life then Leo has the best I have ever seen. He also knew exactly how to handle a woman in bed. This man, who was one of the kindest and sweetest guys I know, was very much a dominant animal once the clothes came off.

Like I said though, while I love the feeling of hot cum (especially black men's) inside of me, I am also a mum. I know the real life responsibilities that come with those choices and I am very conservative about taking those types of risks. I learned when I got accidentally pregnant with my oldest son that people's lives, innocent children's, rode on the risks we took as the adults. I know my condoms too; having worked as a sexual health educator at a major university. In the words of Julia Roberts' character from Pretty Woman, 'I'm a safety girl.'

And I honestly abide by my rules, almost all the time, except that even with all my little speech and agreeing to all of it, Leo had other ideas. OK, other thing girls: never leave it to the guys to follow your instructions. Put the damned condom on yourself. Get good at it. Practice on bananas or dildos until you can not only do it right but make it part of the fun. Never get carried away in the heat of the moment, because you have not had big black cock in almost four months or because this particular black cock is way impressive. Take my advice: don't trust him.

Now the fact that Leo was actually a rather passionate Aries, who loved taking his white women from behind, doggy style, did not help the matter. In my own defence, I did repeatedly ask about the condoms; between really intense orgasms though. But damn, when you are quite literally getting your brains screwed out, focussing is not easy; even on really important shit like condoms. So I just about fucking freaked when I felt Leo cum inside of me. And trust me when Leo came, there was no doubt about it. We have all read about those stories where you could feel each squirt, but we all know that is rare; but Leo was one of those.

Like I said I hold a degree in health education plus I had used natural family planning successfully for over three years when I was married to avoid unplanned pregnancy. So I was very aware of women's cycles, conception and in particular my own body. So it took me all of about thirty seconds to at least put that issue to rest since I had just finished my period, I knew that this particular accident was unlikely to cause any issues. But I also was aware that I needed to get this lover under control and quickly.

But that was some really good fucking. So over the next few weeks we fell into a pattern. On the nights that my younger son was with me, Leo would call after I got him to sleep. But on the nights that he was with his dad, I would make dinner, clean up, help the teens with their homework and around eight or nine make that hour long drive; for wild sex.

As my mid-cycle came closer I was determined not to repeat the little 'accident' of our first time. There is a very good reason that in my whole life as an adult I have taken the birth control pill less than eighteen months. They give me horrific migraine headaches; two sometimes three times per week. So unless it is absolutely positively imperative that I not get pregnant and I am in a monogamous relationship anyway, then I have always found condoms best.

So to make the whole situation more fun and to win Leo over to my side of the argument, I visited a sex shop and bought some really fun Magnums, the ones with ridges. I also bought some lubricant that I knew had an additional ingredient that would make things feel more natural (one of those tingly kinds). I also know that if you put a single drop of lubricant in the reservoir before putting the condom over the erect penis, then it will be more pleasurable for the guy.

Actually, my former partner had our son for the whole weekend and my daughter was visiting friends, so as it turned out Leo and I actually had a whole weekend together at the wrong/right time though. Anyway, I wrapped my gifts in a bag and showed up at his house that Saturday morning. I had my firmest and sweetest voice when we once more had one of my long conversations about condoms and how important it was that he follows my rules. And I followed my own advice girls; I put the damned thing on myself. And we fucked with confidence.

Now despite supposedly being nothing more than casual fuck-buddies, we were also in the habit of playing house. By that I mean acting like a real couple, cooking and cleaning the kitchen together, running errands, that sort of thing. So it was quite natural for me to throw on his robe and make breakfast together after the hot sex and then eat it on the screened-in patio while laughing and talking.

Anyway as breakfast progressed, Leo decided he wanted to take some pics of me; for the nights when I had my son and not around. So we spent about twenty minutes or half an hour posing. Then Leo decided he wanted one of us together. I thought nothing of it. So he sets the timer on the camera, places the tripod to capture the two of us, and quite literally pins me to the futon with his much larger frame.

Snap! Then he began to kiss me. That part was very nice, because he was a very good kisser. Then I felt his legs slipping between mine; opening my thighs. I really did try to say something about the condoms in the bedroom; even though I did not want to talk at the moment. But between the intense kisses and the feeling of that really awesome black cock slipping into me, I could not get a word out. I am not going to lie; yes the sex was hot, hotter because I knew the risks we were taking. But I also had serious buyer's remorse afterwards. I was shaking and I think actually so worried that there were tears in my eyes.

You have to understand, I had just ended a really intense relationship and I was only looking for a fuck buddy. So this was way too fast for me; even though Leo was a great guy in all other ways. He kept making comments about never getting serious about a woman that had kids because he wanted all his woman's attention. So I admit we were both sending out pretty mixed messages.

But the sex was awesome and he was an absolute great guy. For instance, Leo insisted on changing the oil in my car that weekend. After all he said I was putting a lot of miles on it coming to visit him all the time. He also insisted on filling my tank, gas tank (of course back then gas was not $3.00 a gallon), and checking the trees.

That evening after another hot fuck, where I did win and we used condoms, we ran out to Home Depot for something. I forget what, but he always took me with him on errands for either the house...or his semi. (I never did get the ride I wanted it in though.) Anyway, as we were walking down the aisle this younger black clerk and I almost ran into one another. I said excuse me politely. But Leo grabbed my hand and stared at the kid; if looks could kill. I did not think that much about the whole thing.

Until we got back to his house. He practically threw me onto his bed. He did not even bother getting either of us fully undressed. He just pulled my shorts off and opened his pants enough to get that impressive cock out and into me. Now I admit it, like most women I have rape fantasies...and that afternoon is as close to reality as I ever want to come.

I mean his cock was almost brutal in the way that it kept slamming into my pussy. My orgasms were laced with more than a touch of pain, because ten inches is a lot of cock to have slammed into your cervix repeatedly. He was also pretty domineering in other ways; pulling my ponytail and slapping my ass until I knew it was pretty red. And with each really deep thrust, my usually sweet guy kept demanding,"Whose white pussy is this?" I am not stupid enough to argue about just being casual fuck buddies and being free to see other people when my lover is in a mood like that; and is almost a foot taller and weighs considerably more than I did. I knew my line..."Yours." So for the second time during my most fertile time, Leo came unprotected in me.

Like I said I believe if you aren't old enough to talk about it you aren't old enough to do it, so I actually talked to Leo about the risks we had taken and I say we cause even if he had been the one in control both those times; I could have...should have...known better after the first time. His response was 'we're adults and we'll deal with it.' I made my point that while I may be pro-choice politically that was not a personal option for me. His answer was a rather stoic, 'good because I would kick your ass if you did.'

Obviously, I did not get pregnant, but I did spend the next two weeks more than a little worried about how something that was supposed to be casual had gotten so out of control. My girl friend told me that he was more serious than I was which considering how absolutely sweet Leo was bothered me just as much. I am not into hurting people.

In the end, we broke it off when I invited Leo to meet my older kids over Thanksgiving dinner. While I was not sure I was ready for a really serious relationship, I also recognised that I could not guarantee that the same thing would not happen again if I continued to see Leo. So I thought it better to 'normalize' our relationship, before I did end up pregnant. But I suppose the dinner invite was a tad too frightening for Leo who was still dealing with his own demons of being involved with a single mom, so he declined.

I was not into mixed messages and being played again after the three months I had just wasted with another man, so I quit taking Leo's call and went for something way more casual where my fuck buddies understood and followed my rules. Then when I had completely given up on men, along came my husband, who showed me that some men were serious about love and commitment...and happily ever afters.

Funny thing is that a couple of weeks before I moved to the UK to live with my new husband, Leo instant messaged me again. We got to chatting. Heck with my husband's permission, I even took our daughter (who was almost six months old) to meet him for dinner and a final good-bye. As always, he was very nice. When my daughter started to fuss, he actually took her so that I could finish eating. But I could see that he was wondering about the what-ifs.

We talked about things; about how both of us had just been too scared to be honest with ourselves or each other about how we were starting to feel. It was a strange conversation. Because I admit that I love my husband to pieces and although he is not packing the same ten inches; I much prefer his darker skin, stockier build and uncut black cock. But I knew that this farewell was much harder for Leo who was trying to decide if he was really ready to commit to another woman that he had been seeing for awhile. After that we lost touch.

Oh, I did promise a moral to go with the hot non-consensual/reluctant and interracial sex. The moral of the story is to be honest with yourself and your partner when your feelings begin to change. You never know what might happen, but it is better to at least risk being hurt than to politely kiss someone you cared about good-bye and watch her pushing a pram with another man's child in it.