Thursday, September 24, 2009

***Possible spoilers from House, so if you are planning to see it, come back later.***

Dear This Week's House,

Thank you for helping me to realize that, in order to act normalbecome sane get better, I must actually take my pills.

Unlike House's roommate, I was not refusing to take my pills this time because they stop me from being me. (Though G-D knows that we've gone down that road so many times they are dedicating a rest stop in my honor. Now with a Bob Evans!) I also was not not taking my pills out of some scheme to turn all the patients in the asylum against their doctors. Instead, I went through one of my periods of just not taking them.Yes, this is stupid. And reckless, and unhealthy. Yes, this caused me to become a weeping, snivelling, ill-tempered, non-coping mess.

So, I'm back on - because I do want to get better. And with only one dose in me, I feel like I can actually handle life. I took my meds yesterday, I'm taking them today and I plan to take them tomorrow. That's as far as I'm going to go with my planning, because the longer term promises have not been working for me.

I stopped taking my pills about a month ago and then wondered why I was a mess at work feeling like I was going to cry for no reason. Duh! So I'm back on the pills. I really want to get off of them because they have totally killed my sex drive. But I've acknowledged that I need them for now.