SCAREY HYPE ANNOUNCER - BRAND NEW INTERNET VERSION 1.0

A shimmering new way of presenting information is invented each week, and this week, from the frayed basket of cyber-clichés, comes the new Scarey Hype Announcer which will soon be fitted to all windows inside and out!

Using the special Mind (of Isaiah) Action Console you will be able to make yourself appear on somebody else's computer screen, like in TINYCHAT.

Gimmicks in this new experience will include virtual fingers and genital organs which you can contentedly wave at ANYBODY ON THE FUCKING PLANE, as well as a first-rate servicing and support network, and an online selection of SNARK if your own reserves of SNARK should ever fail you.

• Imagine yourself speaking directly to anybody. Using the beautifully designed Retrospect 360 package you will appear all around them, firing criticism from all angles and haunting them with your own words and glances!

• And think of the fun you will have, toggling your ranting red face into position on the desktop of those people who have shared FAILED SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS with you!

To which I say? So what! Love it or despise it, the fluidity and flash of these new software services will offer us all entertainment innovations we have not yet dreamed of. Let them get their own back! Let them dare!

• Like a bored driver scanning the radio for songs, you will be able to scan the pages of the world and drop your virtual trousers REVEALING A FULL ERECTION ( or genitally excited image of your own choice ) when you come across another user that you DO NOT LIKE.

Alternatively, with the new improved Stiffy 5000 package, you can choose from all the genitals of the animal world, in MotorScan imagery with extra BackUpFudMaster. COMING SOON - INSECT COCKS!!!

SO DON'T JUST SIT THERE DREAMING OF REVENGE. PURCHASE THE ONLINE RIGHTS TO THE FUCKER.