The 40 Most Obnoxious Quotes For 2005

40) “I took a poo in the woods hunched over like an animal. It was awesome.” — Drew Barrymore

39) “I think (the NBA’s dress code is) a racist statement because a lot of the guys who are wearing chains are my age and are black. I wore all my jewelry today to let it be known that I’m upset with it.” — Indiana Pacers Guard Stephen Jackson

38) “I know people who are embarrassed to be American. They don’t like showing their passports. It’s becoming a scary place. It takes someone very brave not to be quiet, someone who doesn’t mind death threats, their life being turned upside down, news cameras outside their door. There is no freedom of speech in America anymore. They are not living up to the constitution. There’s so much fear in America and control.” — Gillian Anderson

36) “George W. Bush is evil. He is a terrorist. He is evil. He is arrogant. And he is out of control.” — Julianne Malveaux

35) “As a matter of fact, I was talking to my friend Laura, who sings on the record, and we’re both getting to the point where we want to start families. We’re convinced that if we have children, we’re going to do everything in our power to make them gay. Like maybe drinking a lot of extra soy milk while she’s pregnant, or anything that would work to make that happen. I’d just rather have a really sharp, interesting, smart gay son than some big dumb hetero meathead.” — Moby

34) “Back on September 11, terrorists attacked our metropolitan cores, two of America’s great cities. They did that because they knew that was where they could do the most damage and weaken us the most. Years later, we are given a budget proposal by our commander in chief, the president of the United States. And with a budget ax, he is attacking America’s cities. He is attacking our metropolitan core.” — Democratic Mayor of Baltimore, Martin O’Malley

33) “The day Dick Cheney is going to run for president, I’ll kill myself. All we need is one more liar.” — Helen Thomas

32) “When one considers the losses suffered by Britain and France — hundreds of thousands dead, destitution, bankruptcy, the end of the empires — was World War II worth it, considering that Poland and all the other nations east of the Elbe were lost anyway? If the objective of the West was the destruction of Nazi Germany, it was a “smashing” success. But why destroy Hitler? If to liberate Germans, it was not worth it. After all, the Germans voted Hitler in. If it was to keep Hitler out of Western Europe, why declare war on him and draw him into Western Europe? If it was to keep Hitler out of Central and Eastern Europe, then, inevitably, Stalin would inherit Central and Eastern Europe. Was that worth fighting a world war — with 50 million dead?” — Pat Buchanan explains WW2 wasn’t worth it

31) “But in my darker moments, I wonder whether the war wasn’t a cover to persuade good, open-minded folk like Glenn (Reynolds) to enable the theocratic impulses of the Republican base.” — Andrew Sullivan

30) “And there is no reason, Bob, that young American soldiers need to be going into the homes of Iraqis in the dead of night, terrorizing kids and children, you know, women, breaking sort of the customs of the — of — the historical customs, religious customs. Whether you like it or not … Iraqis should be doing that.” — John Kerry slams the troops again

29) “American fighters of the Pacific War were not heroes. The desperation of island combat included exchanged barbarities of which no one would willingly speak for a generation. On the American side, there were foul racism, vengeful refusals to take prisoners, a generalized brutality that extended to a savage air war.” — James Carroll in the Boston Globe

28) “Just remember that in Florida 2000, the victims were black and Latino voters who were, who were, um, just so callously and openly denied the opportunity to cast their vote in a scheme that was cooked in a backroom by rich and powerful white people. And in 2004, with the electronic voting machines, your votes are at risk too.” — Democratic Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney

27) “The last two elections were stolen. They were stolen and so we will not rest until we reclaim our democracy and this is what today is all about.” — U.S. Rep. Barbara Lee (D-Calif.)

26) “Well I would say that in the year 2000, the country failed abysmally in the presidential election process. There’s no doubt in my mind that Al Gore was elected president.” — Jimmy Carter

25) “I’d like to say to the good citizens of Dover: if there is a disaster in your area, don’t turn to God, you just rejected Him from your city. And don’t wonder why He hasn’t helped you when problems begin, if they begin. I’m not saying they will, but if they do, just remember, you just voted God out of your city. And if that’s the case, don’t ask for His help because He might not be there.” — Pat Robertson after the citizens of Dover voted against school board members who favored teaching intelligent design

24) “I felt like a n*gger.” — Ralph Nader on his run at the presidency in 2004.

23) “Meanwhile, every American who believes in racial equality and human dignity should sympathize with the rioters, not with the effete bigots on the Seine.” — Columnist Ralph Peters sides with the rioters over the French populace

22) “We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think that religion stops people from thinking. I think it justifies crazies. I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder. If you look at it logically, it’s something that was drilled into your head when you were a small child. It certainly was drilled into mine at that age. And you really can’t be responsible when you are a kid for what adults put into your head.” — Bill Maher

21) “We want our Border Patrol agents chasing, you know, crooks and thieves and drug-runners and terrorists, not good-hearted people who are coming here to work. And therefore, it makes sense to allow the good-hearted people who are coming here to do jobs that Americans won’t do a legal way to do so. And providing that legal avenue, it takes the pressure off the border.” — George Bush explains that we don’t want the Border Patrol to actually stop illegal aliens

20) “Until your daddy learns that it’s not ‘fun’ to kill, keep your doggies and kitties away from him. He’s so hooked on killing defenseless animals that they could be next!” — From a PETA booklet called “Your Daddy Kills Animals,” which was designed to be handed out to children

by Sir John Hawkins

John Hawkins's book 101 Things All Young Adults Should Know is filled with lessons that newly minted adults need in order to get the most out of life. Gleaned from a lifetime of trial, error, and writing it down, Hawkins provides advice everyone can benefit from in short, digestible chapters.

19) “My answer to those that want to offset the spending is sure, bring me the offsets, I’ll be glad to do it. But nobody has been able to come up with any yet…after 11 years of Republican majority we’ve pared it down pretty good…I am ready to declare ongoing victory (over spending).” — Tom DeLay

18) “Look, unlike[ Andrew Sullivan], I’m a Jew, but I don’t expect Arabs to pay tribute (at the commemoration of the liberation of Auschwitz) to my people’s suffering while Jews, in the form of Israel and its supporters -– and in this I include myself – are causing much of theirs. Would Andrew want to go to a service in honor of the suffering of gay bashing bigots?” — Eric Alterman compares the victims of the Holocaust to gay bashing bigots

17) “I heard from a very reliable source who saw a 25 foot deep crater under the levee breach. It may have been blown up to destroy the black part of town and keep the white part dry.” — Louis Farrakhan speculates that New Orleans was deliberately flooded

16) “[My new dog] Gudrun is named after the infamous Gudrun Ensslin who was the female leader of the Baader-Meinhof Gang, an art terrorist group from the 70s. Terrorism was different then. It had a chicness to it, which made it seem less like a dangerous menace and more like fashion. — Margaret Cho

15) “It is reported that black hurricane victims in New Orleans have begun eating corpses to survive. Four days after the storm, thousands of blacks in New Orleans are dying like dogs. No-one has come to help them.” — Randall Robinson at the Huffington Post

14) “They’ve had a very very direct, aggressive attack on the, on the media, and the way it’s handled. Probably the most flagrant example of that is the way they set up Dan Rather. Now, I mean, I have my own beliefs about how that happened: it originated with Karl Rove, in my belief, in the White House. They set that up with those false papers.” — Maurice Hinchey (D-NY), explains how Karl Rove was really behind Memogate

13) “Absolutely (I had sex with animals). I was a fool. When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule.” — Anti-abortion activist Neal Horsley tells people way more than they wanted to know about his teenage years

12) “In contrast to New Orleans, there was only minimal looting after the horrendous 1995 earthquake in Kobe, Japan–because, when you get down to it, Japanese aren’t blacks.” — Steve Sailer

11) “(The) idea that we’re going to win the war in Iraq is an idea which is just plain wrong.” — Howard Dean

10) “This President is never gonna do the right thing. I think somewhere deep down inside him he takes a lot of joy about losing people, if he thinks they vote Democrat or if he thinks they’re poor, or if he thinks they’re in a blue state, whatever his reasons are not to rescue those people.” — Air America’s Randi Rhodes speculates that Bush wanted Democrats to die in New Orleans after hurricane Katrina

9) “What outrages me as a representative of journalists is that there’s not more outrage about the number, and the brutality, and the cavalier nature of the U.S. military toward the killing of journalists in Iraq….They target and kill journalists … uh, from other countries, particularly Arab countries like Al -, like Arab news services like Al-Jazeera, for example. They actually target them and blow up their studios with impunity….” — Newspaper Guild President Linda Foley

8) “On one occasion, the air conditioning had been turned down so far and the temperature was so cold in the room, that the barefooted detainee was shaking with cold. ….. On another occasion, the [air conditioner] had been turned off, making the temperature in the unventilated room well over 100 degrees. The detainee was almost unconscious on the floor, with a pile of hair next to him. He had apparently been literally pulling his hair out throughout the night. On another occasion, not only was the temperature unbearably hot, but extremely loud rap music was being played in the room, and had been since the day before, with the detainee chained hand and foot in the fetal position on the tile floor.

If I read this to you and did not tell you that it was an FBI agent describing what Americans had done to prisoners in their control, you would most certainly believe this must have been done by Nazis, Soviets in their gulags, or some mad regime–Pol Pot or others–that had no concern for human beings. Sadly, that is not the case. This was the action of Americans in the treatment of their prisoners.” — Democratic Senator Dick Durbin

7) “George Bush doesn’t care about black people…They’re giving the Army permission to go down and shoot us.” — Kayne West on the rescue efforts in New Orleans after hurricane Katrina

6) “For those of you who do, as a matter of principle, oppose war in any form, the idea of supporting a conscientious objector who’s already been inducted [and] in his combat service in Iraq might have a certain appeal. But let me ask you this: Would you render the same support to someone who hadn’t conscientiously objected, but rather instead rolled a grenade under their line officer in order to neutralize the combat capacity of their unit?” — University Professor Ward Churchill on supporting soldiers who frag their officers

5) “I was driving past the Pentagon when that plane hit. I had friends on that plane; this is deadly serious to me. They want to kill me and my children if they can. But if they just kill me and not my children, they want my children to be comforted — that while they didn’t protect me because they cut my taxes, my children won’t have to pay any money on the money they inherit. That is bulls*** national defense, and we should say that.” — Ex-Clinton Aide Paul Begala explains that Republicans want to kill him

4) “A spoiled child (Bush) is telling us our Social Security isn’t safe anymore, so he is going to fix it for us. Well, here’s your answer, you ungrateful whelp: Just try it, you little b*stard. .” — A “humor bit” from the Randi Rhodes show

2) “If I had my way, I would see Katherine Harris and Ken Blackwell strapped down to electric chairs and lit up like Christmas trees. The better to light the way for American Democracy and American Freedom!” — Democratic Talk Radio’s Stephen Crockett