Monthly Archives: September 2019

I’ve always been too intimidated to go. I imagined going
inside someone’s home, looking around and being unsure of what is actually for
sale and no prices anywhere. Figuring it would be a lot of, “Is this for sale?”
and “How much is this?” and pretending I’m still thinking about it while I
determine I have held it long enough to not seem rude, when I really want to
look at them and say, “Are you kidding me? $25 for a warped pot?” I don’t even
like yard sales when things aren’t clearly priced.

But I tried it. My sister convinced me to go with her to one
and I have been hooked since. I’m getting so comfortable estate sale shopping
now that I’m a little worried I’m going to be at one of your homes and just
start going through your cabinets out of habit.

We spent four hours Saturday pilfering
through the belongings of three different strangers and I came home with a
picture frame, 3 cooking magazines, a cake stand, a pitcher, an ironing board and
a serving dish. We also learned some things about a fellow shopper. While in the
spare bedroom, we saw she is a huge NASCAR fan, a quality she shared with the recently
departed. In the family room, we found out she is a mom to three boys, a
grandmother to seven, and a great-grandmother to four, with one of them
recently adopted and there is a hope for the younger sister of this one to soon
be welcomed to their family. She was thrilled to tell her story – almost as
thrilled as she was when she stumbled onto the racing jackets.

But another story I learn as I’m
shopping is the story of the one who has passed one. You can’t help but put
together a picture of the person’s life. Books are always where I spend the
longest at these sales, and I think you can tell much about a person by what
they are reading.

Classics? Paperbacks with a
woman draped with a sheet that is blowing in the wind? Books about God and
Christianity? A variety of religions represented? Well-worn Bibles? Love
stories? Or maybe just a few untouched odds and ends books that I figure were
purchased as gifts? I can imagine the coziest room in the house and picture him
or her with a blanket on a chilly day getting lost in the words of whatever it
is that seemed to interest them.

At one sale there was
tons of fabric and sewing supplies, along with multiple patterns pinned to cut-out
fabric pieces, and I could imagine this lady getting enjoyment from creating something
beautiful for her or someone else right up until her last days.

It got me thinking
(and not just me – I heard other shoppers echo this thought) about what people
might say about me and all my stuff. But even more than just based on my stuff,
what about those who know me – either knowing me well, or just as an
acquaintance – what would their take on me be when it’s all over?

And now, while I’m
still here, a more important question is, What do I want them to say
about me?

All the choices I make,
and boy have I made some bad ones, help to determine what people will say. I
want the choices I make today to show love and compassion. Kindness and joy. And
all the rest of the Fruit of the Spirit while I’m at it. I want my life to point
to Jesus.

Jesus laid it out pretty simply in John chapter 13 saying, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (34,35)

My life will point to Jesus if I love.

When I talk to my friends and family, my tone and words and
meaning should be drenched with love. My coworkers – love. My neighbors – love. People on Route 60 – love. Someone who hurt
me – love.

Some of those are easy, some seemingly impossible. But
thankfully we aren’t doing it alone. The Holy Spirit guides us to choose love.

As people one day will be fumbling
through my closet of clothes in 6 different sizes, my tote of newspapers, and my
pile of scarves, I hope that there will be hints of Jesus. And I hope that the
people who know me best will be able to say with confidence that I loved Jesus
and showed that love to others. I hope they can say it about all of us.

In
third grade our class held a school parade where each of us made a “float”
representing a different country. My assigned nation was Spain.

I
spent hours with a shoebox and crayons creating a spectacular bullfighting diorama,
complete with an arena full of spectators. In the center of the box, I had a
representation of a bull, played by our Little People cow, and of a fighter
represented by a doll that was likely a hand-me-down with bright pink hair,
sunglasses, and zebra-striped tights. Scaled to size, the pink-haired,
trailblazing matadora would have been just shy of 10 feet tall.

This
box was going to be secured to my 18” stubby Alf skateboard, which I would pull
proudly through the halls with some random string/shoelace attached near the
wheels.

Pictures from Google to help you see what went into the Spanish shoebox diorama 🙂

But
sometime between finishing up the night before and displaying it for all my
classmates the next morning, I started doubting.

Maybe
I saw another student’s box and felt insecure about my own work, or perhaps
someone said something I can’t remember all these decades later, but I do
remember the confidence draining.

So
when the teacher gave out the opportunity for students who weren’t finished to
continue working on their projects during recess, I jumped at the chance like
someone had just offered me one of Willy Wonka’s golden tickets.

I did
some quick research with an Encyclopedia Britannica and found that Spain is
known for some impressive architecture, so with construction paper, a tissue
box and 20 minutes, I fashioned some kind of building, relieving the cow and
the doll of their duties, and covering up all the spectators with Scotch tape
and sheets of green and yellow.

To
this day I can remember the disappointment on my teacher’s face when I asked to
change it up. She knew the box I started with represented a lot of effort and
watching me doubt it and haphazardly change things out of fear certainly left
her disheartened for me. I received a good grade, but deep down we both knew
the first plan was better.

Sadly, that’s not the last time I have wimped out because of
doubts and fear and uncertainty. When I am convinced I have a purpose or a
calling or an assignment to do, I can start out full force. I am excited and
feel passionate about it. Then something happens. I start to question if I have
what it takes or whether it’s really something that’s needed. I wonder if it’s
something other people will support. I start seeing myself falling flat on my
face.

Priscilla Shirer, in Discerning the Voice of God,
says “You will know God’s voice because it will bring encouragement along with
conviction.” God speaks with conviction, while the enemy speaks with
condemnation, she says. “When (God) speaks to you, His words will carry the continued
hope of intimacy, friendship, and reconciled relationship.”

Those thoughts I have, mentioned toward the end of the
paragraph before last, certainly don’t fall under the category of intimacy, friendship,
or relationship. They are harsh and damaging and meant to tear me down.

So, when I am hearing the Holy Spirit guide my heart toward
a new purpose or passion or calling and destructive thoughts come my way, I have
three jobs to do:

1.
Pray – I need to ask the Holy Spirit to
renew the excitement I had when He first led me to this new thing and ask Him
to make it so very clear if it is not a thing from Him.

2.
Remember – the power/talent/resources I need
to do the thing He is asking me to do are from Him and He will make sure I am equipped
with them. He doesn’t leave us emptyhanded.

3.
Get on with it – I must ask God for the
first step of my assignment and do it with enthusiasm and delight, then listen
for the next step.

So, join me. Put away the construction paper and let’s walk that
parade with confidence. If He has asked us to do it, we are as equipped and
prepared as we need to be.

“Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you
which path to take.” Proverbs 3:6 (NLT)

Camden Park was always the highlight of July 4th. My parents, sister and I would hop into the car and head to Westmoreland to watch the fireworks. We would park the car, walk down the street and find a good spot to settle in and wait for the show.

*Fun memory – once we were driving in a super long kind of car like all cars were then in a terrible shade of pea green and as unflattering as that sounds, we were apparently not the only ones. We climbed back into the car and started to shut the doors when we realized that the clothes in the backseat were not ours. It wasn’t our car. We jumped out as fast as we could and kept walking. This was in the ‘80s when locking your car in Huntington wasn’t as big of a deal.*

The whistle of the explosives spiraling to the sky and waiting to see which color it would be, and sometimes a couple at a time – it was so beautiful. Then the occasional noise that sounded like a canon but produced no visual show. I’m sure there are people who love those too. Then the end, the grand finale – fireworks all popping up together, one after another, lighting up the night sky, leaving everyone watching enchanted. The whole thing probably lasted only 20 minutes or less, but it is something I remember now, more than 30 years later.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my life’s purpose and wondering
what is next in my life, and I think I have misunderstood what a life’s
purpose is. I’ve always thought it was a profession – someone’s purpose would
be to be a pastor or a missionary or a teacher or something. While
that can play a big part of it, the longer I’ve been following Jesus, I see that there is so much more to it. Our purpose includes whatever He
is asking us to do right now.

Sometimes
these things He is asking are more long-term – teaching a Sunday School class
for years and years or fostering a kid who desperately needs to know love.

Sometimes it’s a very short assignment – in fact, we always
have short assignments. There are always people to whom we can show
kindness. We have neighbors to compliment. We have office-mates we
can do something special for when they are having a bad day. We have the poor
we can help, the lonely we can visit. Friends that need our prayers.

And we don’t always need a direct command from God straight to
us to do these short-term actions. He has already given them to us in His
Word. Love your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:31); Whoever
gives to the poor will not want (Proverbs 28:27); Be
kind to one another (Ephesians 4:32)… There are dozens more. And just
like there are some things we expect from our children
without them needing to be told – like
brushing their teeth or playing nice – there are things God
has already listed for us in Scripture that we know to do.

These
seemingly small acts may appear minuscule in the grand scheme of life, but
their effects can last a long time. Just like the fireworks, the show was
short-lived, but the effect has lasted more than 30 years.

If you don’t feel like you have a long-term kind of purpose yet,
don’t worry about that. God will let you know what you need to know when you
need to know it. But I promise you that you already have a short-term purpose you can fulfill this very day. Keep your eyes open.

I have a recurring dream where I am in a car and we are
driving crazy-fast on dangerous, hilly roads, when we go airborne and I’m
always certain this is my final day on earth Then, just before landing, I wake
up. The waking up part is one of the best feelings in the world. So terrified,
then suddenly such relief.

I remember falling asleep in tears one night, a bunch of
years ago, certain I had done so much damage to our marriage that we would be
finished. I felt more shame and hopelessness than I ever have felt any other
time in my life. And when I woke up the next morning, I was groggily piecing
things together in m y mind, hoping that I could tell myself it all had been a
dream. But as my story came together in my head, I was crushed to remember it all
had been true.

This was real and happening and I was facing a future I didn’t
know. The pit in my stomach grew. I had no hope for us.

Being without hope is a lonely, dark place. I hope you haven’t
been there, but if you have then you know what I’m talking about.

In Luke 24, two followers of Jesus were walking along a road
after Jesus’ crucifixion, feeling an extreme level of hopelessness, when Jesus
showed up to talk to them. He didn’t let them realize it was Him, and instead
asked them something like, “Whatcha talking about?” They told Him about this
Jesus being a prophet who was so powerful, but that the leaders had given Him
the death sentence and crucified Him. They went on to say, “but we had hoped that
he was the one who was going to redeem Israel.” (v. 21)

But we had hoped.

Hope is such a beautiful word, but “had hoped” is heart-breaking.
Once there was hope, but now there is not. We are past that time when we were
anticipating a rescue or restoration or healing to a time where we can’t see
nay signs of hope anywhere. It was a nice dream.

After spending the evening with these guys talking to them about
Scripture and staying at their home and blessing their bread and giving it to
them at their table, Luke says, “their eyes were opened.” They suddenly were
able to see their Christ, the One they “had hoped” would redeem their people. He
was not dead at all but had been with them all day.

Jesus met them were they were to restore their hope.

This is so significant to me for many reasons, but one is
that He remained on this earth a mere 40 days after his resurrection. That He
chose to spend nearly an entire day with these two to help restore their faith
is something that makes me love Him even more, if that’s possible. This is a
Savior who cares so much about each one of us that He will go to great lengths
to bring back our hope. He loves us so much.

Jesus has restored my hope in Him so many times. And
thankfully He also restored my hope for my marriage. He redeemed us, and I
still can’t get over it.

Whatever is going on in your life, I don’t want you to lose
hope. But I know of Someone who is happy to restore it when you do.

He odes it in His own way and in His own time, but He will
do it. It may not look a thing like you planned or imagined but trust His ways.
There is always hope in Him.

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and
secure.”
Hebrews 6:19a