Skepticism

EVENTS

First, baseball. Next…the world!

I’m out at Midway Field with the Minnesota Atheists, and as you can see, we have seized control of the local baseball team.

It’s the start of the fourth inning, and the score is 0-0. I think the problem is that Amanda Knief and Greta Christina are not cheering the team on — they were lured away to the concession stand by the siren call of fried cheese curds.

Excuse me, the definition of atheist is regarding a disbelief or lack of belief in god or gods. It says nothing about Baseball. As a dictionary atheist, I object to your circumvention of the rules.

And don’t go telling me “ain’t no rule says an atheist can’t play baseball.” Because I’ve seen Air Bud, Air Bud Golden Reciever, Air Bud World Pup, Air Bud Seventh Inning Fetch, AND Air Bud Spikes Back. As well as Air Buddies, Snow Buddies, and Space Buddies. I am well acquainted with the rule shenanigans you are attempting, and I will have none of it!

Unless you’re seeding the roots for Air Bud The Dog Delusion, wherein a golden retriever becomes a paid lecturer on the freethought speaking circuit. Then I will have some of that.

I probably shouldn’t feed the troll, but Sick, you’re totally missing the point. It’s that the media is not interested when black girls are missing. Which is true. You don’t seem to understand the concept of racism. I’ll stop there.

Deep-fried cheese curds? Is that a Minnesota version of Canada’s beloved poutine? I saw the picture of you and Larry Moran tucking into poutine in Ottawa last December, and you looked like you were enjoying it.

I’d go to the 24-hour supermarket to buy some cheese curds to experiment with, but Sickivu has ruined my appetite.

It’s likely a Wisconsin thing. I moved to Madison last November, and like every store has a bags of squeaky cheese curds with Bucky Badger looking constipated (and no wonder!) on them.

And as to deep-frying? This is America. Specifically, the Midwest. I think these people would deep-fry the very air if they could, and sell clumps of it on sticks like atherosclerotic cotton candy at state fairs…

Why hasn’t that caught on in America? Because we have to do the Scots one (or ten) better…

I’ve seen deep fried: Snickers bars, twinkies, Oreos, butter, beer, soda, cheese curds, and mozzarella sticks, among other things. I admit to an affection for the Oreos, warm with a bit of powdered sugar on top.