Last night was rough. I went to get out of bed to use the bathroom and I ended up passing out and falling and hitting my head on my nightstand. I have a huge knot on my head where I broke my fall with it. I don't remember much but my dog went and got my roommate up. Long story short, it ended with me going to the hospital all night. By the time i got there my O2 sat was down to 70 I believe and I couldn't breath and then my heart stopped. They used the paddles on me and got it going again but it was a bad night.

I now have an inner ear infection which is affecting my balance and equilibrium. I don't know what all happened last night cause I was fading in and out of consciousness. But the end result, is changing my meds so my blood pressure doesn't get so low and treating my asthma because I couldn't breathe. It was a mess. I am ok now. I just woke up from napping all day.

I was however able to have a quick lunch with my friends for one of their birthdays and say goodbye to her because she's moving to Arizona to be with her new man. So, I was able to get out for a very short period of time today and see them. It felt so good. I love my lesbian friends. They are the most loyal, loving group of gals. They even bought me my lunch which was sweet of them.

So, I'm not going to be on here long. I just wanted to update. I don't really know what's going to happen to me. I don't know why my heart stopped. I've been having heart palpitations lately and last night they were bad. All of this doesn't make sense to me. THe heart is so complicated and my infections are so bad and it's just one big fucking disastrous mess. BUT, I am in GOOD spirits. My Mom is freaking out and I'm trying to calm her down. She thinks I'm making light of the situation which I am because i have to because it's too daunting if I don't. I have to stay positive.

SHe doesn't want me driving or anything but I have to do what I have to do and I'm not dead yet so I will keep on fighting. Anyways, that's about it. I've got a new inhaler I had needed one because my prescription had run out. So, that's good. I can breathe better. Lots of coughing and I am terribly thirsty. I'm drinking an awful lot of water and just a little Gatorade. But, I'm doing my best to take care of myself. I ate a healthy salad today with some chicken and whatnot. Was able to keep that down.

I hope everyone had a good weekend. I really did have a nice weekend considering all things that have happened. I'm ok. I will prevail. A buckeye never loses! hahaahaha

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Hey Mel,
I've been following your journal for about 3 months now. You have come such a long way. You are really amazing!

It breaks my heart to hear that your current medical problems are really making things difficult for you. Please take care of yourself and there is nothing wrong with taking all of this more lightly than your mom thinks you should. It IS overwhelming. I think it is smart to keep your mood as light as you can. I have my own health issue that dictates how I live my life so I understand somewhat. (I'm also a vet...USAF)

You are doing wonderfully. Don't ever doubt that. If the other guy was not able to appreciate you then he wasn't worth your time. He certainly did not deserve your heart. The right guy will come along when you least expect it.