Sometimes it's hard to be a Dad, a husband, a Catholic, a working class stiff, AND a Conservative Guy in New York State. But then again, sometimes it's kind of funny.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Niche Marketing

Being a 'sales guy' is fun (most days). But my true love is Marketing. Suprisingly enough, Sales is 'different' than Marketing.

Consider the following two definitions (you won't find these in any Earth-Based college text books - you'll see why in a moment):
SALES: Sales consists of going out and having a two-way dialogue with a prospect / customer / stranger and going through the whole Need / Satisfaction Selling process. Someone has a need - you dig around long enough to find the solution which will satisfy that need. It's the classic 'Win/Win' scenario.

BAD ANALOGY: Sales is like being in a submarine and 'Pinging' randomly - hoping to find an objective somewhere above, or under the sea near you in an effort to 'Target in on it'. It's active (as in, 'Active Sonar Pinging' - heard that in a movie once). You're not exactly sure what you're looking for... Until you find it. THEN, you take aim and fire.

MARKETING: Marketing is a broad-based 'Campaign' which is 'typically' a one-way conversation. The Marketing guy / gal doesn't know the specific needs of the individual prospect, but hopes that by tossing out enough Benefits (a.k.a.: 'Cool Stuff'), they'll get someone to so something - perhaps buy something, take an action, or just maybe, pay to watch women in underwear hit each other.

BAD ANALOGY: Marketing is knowing that there's a North Korean sub out there 'somewhere'. You could look for it by 'Pinging' it from your ship, or sub. But why bother? Simply fly in, drop a nuke in the general area, turn the sea to steam and enjoy the satisfaction of knowing that you 'most likely got it'. And if you didn't? It wasn't there to begin with. No problem - there are always MORE nukes to drop, right?

Yes, this is why I don't teach business courses (anywhere) on this planet. I do, however conduct night school classes on Bovinia Seven, a small planet just outside of our Milky Way.

But seriously, why brag?

So, getting (finally) to the topic of today's post... Let's talk football!!!
Yes, somewhere on THIS planet someone (I'm thinking it was probably a guy) decided that there was a need to begin marketing women in underwear, pads, and lip gloss - playing football.

I did not know this.

I thought football was reserved for large hairy men? Kind of gives the whole 'Fantasy Football League' a whole new spin, doesn't it?

Sorry, my mind was wandering.

Apparently the Lingerie Football League (LFL) has been around for a while. Having spent too much time 'off planet' teaching Marketing, I missed the entire LFL thing until last night when I tripped across a video about a 'girl fight' involving Miami Caliente players, and um, well, really, who cares?

The LFL has it's own WEBSITE, Ten Professional Lingerie Football Teams, Friday Night Football on MTV2, AND, I'm assuming, a complete clothing line of team-themed Underoos.

Did I mention that Marketing is my true love? Yeah, I guess I did earlier in the post, but you know, my mind tends to wander. I don't know who, when, or where 'Lingerie Football' originated, but my 'virtual' hat is off to them.

Those guys / gals are geniuses. Talk about a HUGE Market Demographic! They'll attract men, women, Lesbians, yeah, pretty much the entire population of the U.S. can be a fan of LFL.

About the Blogyard

Thanks for stopping by the "MoosRoom". I try not to post 'normal' news (as it is normally depressing). I try to post stuff that I think is funny (well, to me, at least). A 'kinder, gentler' news place for you to get 'Moos'. Seeking truth, humor, the weird and the wonderful which make up the entirety of our lives.

Moo

p.s.: No cows were injured in the generation of this blog. However, a trace amount of methane was released moments ago...

For this, if nothing else, I am sorry.

About Me

My name is Mike Kane. I've been writing stories for years. Most are a release valve from the weirdness of everyday life. Some of these will find their way here, others will fade off into the ether. A select few will be sent via e-mail directly to friends, family, and sometimes complete strangers (you have been warned (assuming that you are 'completely strange')). I've been in Sales all of my adult life. Sometimes sales are good, sometimes sales are bad, but in reality, 'life' is always good (regardless of sales). Well, 'LIFE' is a lot better than the alternative, at least.