‘Fixer’ Strikes at Heart of Community

Someone stole into a garden on Paradise Street
discreet as an assassin
took down the clean washing
folded it with cold-blooded precision
and left it in a basket under the back porch
just before the rain started.
Mrs Muriel Clampett, 56, said,
“Why would someone do such a thing?”

Mr Ted Slack felt like he’d been hit with a spade
when he went to his Moss Lane allotment
after being laid up for weeks with a bad knee
to find that his veg beds had been done over,
dug and weeded, all ready for planting.
As yet no witnesses have come forward.
Mr Horsfield, who will be 70 next Tuesday, said,
“This was a totally unprovoked act.”

Alfie Brocklehurst was going to miss out
on the class trip to London
(the Thames, the Globe, the Eye)
until an envelope like a letterbomb
landed on his doormat at dead of night
containing £136 in used notes.
Alfie’s mum Sandra (27) said,
“You never think it will happen to you.”

Maddie Swindells was sitting at home
with no job and a broken heart
when it hit her like a bullet to hear
Scouting for Girls with “She’s So Lovely”
dedicated to her on Silk FM.
Everyone she suspects denies any involvement.
Maddie, 18, had tears in her eyes,
“Life will never be the same again.”