CAT JUMPS FROM TOILET

Cheap hotelsQ: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.

Skeleton orderQ: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!

50 centYo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

Naughty girlsWhy is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

LIGHTS OFFI'm so in love with my boyfriend right now. Everything is perfect, but we want totally different things in bed. Like, he's always turning the lights on, you know what I'm saying? And I shut them off, and he turns them on, and the other day, he's like, 'Amy, why are you so shy? You know, you have a beautiful body.' I was like, 'Oh my god, you're so cute. You think I don't want you to see me?'

AdeleQ: Why did Adele cross the road?
A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

GoogleQ: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Woman in the mirrorA woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.