Thursday, August 9, 2012

A Bunny Interview

By Bunny

Welcome to my first interview on the
1Night Stand blog. To kick of my monthly interviews, I’m sitting with Caileigh,
or better known by her stage name, Autumn. Before I get started, I’ll introduce
myself. My name is Bunny, I’m a demon. But I’m sure you realized that with the
horns and pointy tail. I’m from the Deep South, Southern Succubus. Like
Northern, but with less suck.

*Blinks*

That was a joke. *Sighs.* I really do
have a wicked sense of humor, or at least I’ve been told I do, but you’re
giving me a bit of a complex. *Taps nails on armrest.* Here, let me try
another. So, a Marine, sailor, soldier and fighter pilot were sitting at this
table in a strip club....

*Fans
self*

Ah, screw the punch line; I’ve
completely forgotten it thinking about all that hot flesh at the table. Really,
I do have my weaknesses. Speaking of strip clubs, uh, gentlemen’s clubs, our
very special guest today could probably tell us a thing or two about them.

*Crosses
legs and turns toward interviewee*

*Waves at
everyone.*

My, she is
a perky bubbly demon or demoness? I wonder if there are gender specifics like
here on earth. I’ll have to ask Orias. I still haven’t gotten used to all things
paranormal since Orias has led me into a world I never knew existed. Seeing
demons especially a pretty one is much better than the ones who tried to suck
out my soul.

Dear, you can call me a Succubus, but I prefer Bunny. But
I have to tell you, it’s the pretty ones you should worry about.

*Eyes flash
red*

Autumn, I’ve been told that you dance
for a living, and so I’m just going to get to the question that’s on everyone’s
mind. However do you walk in those shoes, and where can I get a pair? Do they
come in red? Sorry I guess that was three questions. I get a little excited
when it comes to shoes. So, were they on sale?

I love shoes. *Looks down at my killer bedazzled stilettos
and crosses my leg.* These babies take a bit of practice to walk in. Definitely
not something you want to work on in a public setting. I think it took about a
week to walk okay in them. I suggest starting with a five inch stiletto and
moving up to these babies. They come in many colors, shapes, I even have ones
that are clear that have lights in them that twinkle :P Unfortunately these
cost around a hundred and fifty bucks a pair. A good secret is to buy the grip
pads at the store and stick those babies on. It’s like sandpaper. That way I’m
less likely to fall and break my….

I understand you had a rough break out
of high school and turned to shaking...er, the entertainment business to pay
the bills. Tell me a bit about your current job. Are the tips good? Do you like
your boss—co-workers?

*Grins*

I shake my…er…very well and I’m
proud of it. I go to work three or four nights a week, if I want. The job is
not hard. I meet great people and not so great people, men and female alike.
The tips depend on the tipper. There are guys who come and buy the two
requisite drinks and don’t tip at all. Then there are the guys or gals that
shower us with money. The tips are good enough to pay for my college education,
and basic needs. My boss is cool. There of course are some catty females, but
we’re still a family that looks out for one another and warns if creeps are
attempting to cross boundaries.

Being in the line of work you’re in,
men must come on to you constantly. Can you share one of your favorite pickup
lines?

Did it hurt? When you fell out of
Heaven?

*Gasps*

The H
word? He insinuated you fell from the H word? You did ask him if he kisses his
mother with that mouth, didn’t you? He better tip after saying something like
that. Creep!

I thought that was corny but cute and he
was such a good tipper.

Here’s the worst….You know what would
look really good on you? No, what? I say. He says. Me. I had a bouncer haul his
ass out for that one. He had stalker eyes.

*Shudders*

*Perks up*

I love
stalkers. Oh speaking of stalking. I had this amazing idea for a television
show once. Hold on, you’re going to love this. Stalking with the Stars. *Claps
hands* I found this producer and pitched the idea, which I thought he totally
digged, because he had me served with a “restraining order”. Of course, moi, *presses
hand to chest,* being the innocent I am, thought he meant to cuff him to a bed
and gag him. Well, not a bed, the casting couch, but you know what I mean. I
says, oh, Bunny, he knows you too well. I mean it was right up my alley. Bondage,
domination, the whole bit. Once had this temp job working the summer for the
Marquis de Sade. He didn’t have safe words but....

*Blinks and looks out over a
silent audience*

Okay....

*Turns
back to Autumn and smiles*

So, you contacted Madame Eve for a 1NightStand. Why would such an obviously beautiful woman need her services? I know a
thing or two about temptation, and honey you are working it. So again, why do
you need her to find you the perfect one-night man?

It’s hard to meet people and let them in
when you do what I do. I’ve watched many relationships go bad and well. College
men are still a bit immature. When you grow up like I did…let’s just say I grew
up way before my time. When you haven’t “been with a man ever” things get more
complicated. I figured hey, why not?

*Sits back*

A virgin? I thought they
were myth, like Elvis Presley? I mean really, everyone has seen the dude since
he bit it years ago, and we all know that is not possible. What would he be by
now, two hundred? There are more sightings of him than UFOs—and that dude from
the Verizon commercials that doesn’t know how to listen, but wanders around
aimlessly asking, “Can you hear me now.” Seriously, there’s got to be more to
that story than bad reception.

*Taps nails on chair*

So...a virgin. *

Clears
throat and squirms in seat*

Okay, we’re moving on.

Madame Eve is very selective of her clientele.
She completes extensive background and medical checks, as well as a long list
of questions you must anwser just to be considered for her service. Can you
tell me some of the attributes you were looking for in your ideal match—what
rings your bell?

*Traces the hem of my skirt and thrumbs
my fingers over my thigh.* Hmmm. I need an intelligent man with goals and drive
to succeed in life. A family man and well, being muscular, and having animalistic
magnetism is an added extra bonus. Finally someone who could see me and not my
job.

I hope he was everything you dreamed
of, and if he wasn’t, come see me. We could probably work out some kind of
deal. I’m in the negotiating business and what’s one measly soul anyway? Right?

*Eyes flash.*

He exceeded my expectations. When Madame
Eve makes a match anything…and I mean anything, is possible. *I know the dreamy
face, the stuck on stupid in love expression is on my face.*

Before you go, let’s do some quickies.
You do like quickies, don’t you?

Hehe. No.

Pity. Much fun.

How tall does he have to be to get on
the ride?

Hmmm. Six foot four. Although I like the
size of his… more than his height.

A girl after my
own heart. Boxers or briefs?

Neither. I’m now a fan of commando.

Champagne or beer?

Beer. I’m a wheat ale girl.

Suits or blue jeans?

Blue jeans. Orias’ ass looks so good in
them. Suits look good but not as good as jeans.

Chocolates or flowers?

Flowers.

Rock or Hip Hop?

I like Hip Hop but a tiny amount of Rock
too. Both?

Are you sure those shoes don’t come in
red?

*Laughs* I think you were zoning out on
my bedazzled ones when I said they do come in every color of the rainbow and
then some.

I do get easily
distracted. You wouldn’t mind letting me borrow them, would you? Never mind, I’ll
just stalk the shoe store guy. He gives in eventually, and puts out. It’s
easier really. And much more fun than trying to pry them off your feet while I
hold you down with my pitchfork. With those legs, I bet you could kick like a
mule. What muscle tone you have! I just have to have your personal trainer’s
number before you go. But enough about that. It’s time to go. Thanks for
stopping by today, Autumn.

*Turns toward audience.*

To find out how the date went, you can
get all the dirty little details in this exclusive tell all book, Tell Me No
Lies. Here’s the LINK

*Winks*

*The wind shifts and I grin at what’s coming.
I feel the brush of his wings on my face and his lips on my nape as he comes
into view wings retracted.* Leave it to Orias to make a grand entrance at just
the right time to take me home. Quirks a questioning brow at my hostess in her
demon glory as she prattles on, he flirts with the audience.

Please join me next month while I put
a recruiter for the Space Station through her paces.

Thank you for hosting me. I don’t want
to be rude.... *I open my mouth to speak just as Orias transports us home,
cutting off my chance*