Chicago Waitress Spits On Eric Trump, No Free Cheese Plate In Sight

Blanket Disclaimer: Spitting on anybody is dead wrong. Even if it's a Trump.

Still, Eric Trump got to eat a tiny slice of the shit pie women, minorities, poors, disabled, and all of the other people who are deemed "takers" or who come from "shithole countries" experience at some point in their lives: He got spit on. By a woman, according to Breitbart (no link), because we are evil. Woe unto the wealthy white man! Wealthy white men are some of the most abused and marginalized people in the Universe, according to wealthy white men, and Eric Trump is no exception. Please cry for wealthy white men, ok you can stop now. Another group of Americans that are constantly abused, marginalized, and even denied their rights by the very same type of wealthy men that spawn such men as Eric Trump, are called "women." And apparently we are mean as fuck now.

President Donald Trump's son Eric says he was spit on by an employee at the Aviary, a cocktail bar in Chicago, on Tuesday night. The employee was taken into Secret Service custody but was later released.

First of all?

Y'all need to stop fucking laughing at this shit and grow the fuck up, okay, we are supposed to empathize with his Beavis looking ass corny dork-mouthed self. Can't take y'all nowhere, such bad manners.

Second, why the fuck was he out at a cocktail bar on a Tuesday night? Loser. It's cool, it's his business if he wants to prowl around looking to get spit on, but I choose to treat men who get themselves in spitty situations exactly like men treat female rape victims who report their assaults. I don't know what he was wearing to invite such attention, maybe he went in full MAGA regalia and the woman couldn't stop herself from "moving on him like a bitch" because she has poor role models? How much did he drink? How many sex partners has he had? Ew, Eric Trump sex partners :(

"It was purely a disgusting act by somebody who clearly has emotional problems," Trump told Breitbart News. "For a party that preaches tolerance, this once again demonstrates they have very little civility. When somebody is sick enough to resort to spitting on someone, it just emphasizes a sickness and desperation and the fact that we're winning."

LOCKER ROOM TALK!!! We don't know anything about this woman who was clearly just joshin', hanging out with the homies, sure, maybe she misread the signals a bit and thought he was inviting her to engage in a bit of spittery, maybe she's just an abusive asshole. We do not know. Also, "Winning"? Somehow I doubt you're using that word properly. Not to be a fucking party pooper, but your lame ass Pappy is openly and willfully obstructing justice as we speak, and that's actually not a winning play, ask your Uncle Dick. Or, Google him because he is dead.

And please tell us who this Democrat is that preaches about the tolerance of Dems to the Trump Family? Whoever they are they obviously lied to you. We don't even tolerate each other in the Democratic Party, why the hell would we tolerate your gump ass? As far as civility is concerned, it's not civil to lock babies in prison camps or cages, or allow them to drown to death in the name of gentrification of our racial demographics.

Oh my, what to do, what to do. *wrings hands* Some women just cannot control spitting on men who shoot endangered animals for trophies, and have fathers who would allow animals to go extinct rather than tell his dumbass sons they can't kill Mufasa. We will work on that. You can work on convincing men who allegedly sexually assault women in Bergdorf-Goodman's dressing rooms to fucking resign the Office of the Presidency.

As you all know, we are fast approaching a day with major historical significance for a group of Americans who know all too well what it feels like to be spat upon, shat upon, and beat up until they had to act the fuck up. Stonewall Day is this Friday, June 28, and I felt like it was important to mention some actual survivors of horrible and dehumanizing attacks, an attempt at keeping things in perspective. One thing that really pisses me off is how fucking excitedly outraged the "Very Serious People of Liberal Punditry" will be about this TINY incident; yet this little asshole is never one bit empathetic to his father's victims. I will be thinking of Stonewall, not of Eric Trump.

As far as Eric Trump being spit upon is concerned, we have to think like a Stable Genius; people don't assault people they are not ATTRACTED TO, we just learned that from our own president. I have not seen even one report stating that the server was attracted to Eric Trump, so by Donald Trump's logic, how could she have spit on him? Eric should stop dressing like a slut and getting so wasted if he doesn't want women to get all hot and bothered; all that pent up passion has to be spit somewhere. It's almost like he was asking for it. But please don't spit on him anymore, that's fucking filthy, don't be gross like the lady who allegedly snapped and spit on Eric. I rest my case.

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