how is that enicar company doing nowadays
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funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people

The Orchid (and Daffodil and Begonia) Thief

Maya in the U.K. spotted this magnanimous display on a garden wall on her way home, in a neighborhood “that must be simply full of hundreds of passive-aggressive middle class Brits.” Says Maya: ”I was tempted to steal the daffodils myself, but refrained.”

Meanwhile, Greg’s neighbor in Washington, D.C. decided to go with even an more straight-ahead guilt-trippy approach.

P.S. Before settling for a ho-hum Susan Orleans reference, I must admit that when writing this post, I tried — and failed — to come up with an worthy Wordworths-riffing title. In light of my lack of inspiration, I was especially delighted by this bit of brilliance from shwo! in the comments section:

I wandered slyly as a thief
Who flows on low o’er gutter spills,
When all at once I saw a leaf,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the porch, beneath the trees,
I think I will be stealing these.

“Hey you!! Keep stealing my flowers, I dare you, cause the next time you come over to steal and I catch you. I’m going to ram a bag of seeds of so far up your ass that vines will sprout out your nose and begin to strangle you for your stupidity! Karma’s a bitch, Have a good day :)”. <—- Am I the only Gardner that posts angry PANs?

Attention all units- be on the lookout for a suspect wanted for the crime of grand theft flora. Suspect was spotted in the vicinity of Grosvenor Square, with rings on her fingers and bells on her shoes. She is wanted for questioning, however our criminal profilers can tell without asking that she is into the blues.

They should take a note from Adam (from The SupidBomber Manifesto) and just surround their gardens with motion sensor lights to keep thief’s at bay or at least until they receive a letter in the mail saying how having lights on all the time in their garden is just “stupid stupid stupid”

Urban garden under attack? You just need to expand your theme. Just a bit.

Add some stinging nettles, burrs, anything with thorns–both fine (easy to miss visually, but embed in the flesh hideously) and rivaling a whittled set of spears. Grace that off with anything openly declaring ‘poison’ in its popular name: poison ivy, poison oak, etc.

Bonus points for erecting a tasteful plaque that reads:

‘I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden.’

Spreading this earworm is called adding insult to injury.

And congrats! The theme of your garden–no matter what else you plant–is now PAN.

I’m for all these people. Someone came onto their property and took their flowers. That happened to me once. Somebody walked around my house to by backyard and uprooted a plant (I’ve had more than just plants stolen, too). It’s just creepy and obnoxious and I do hope karma nips these thiefs in the ass.

I can’t even remember how many times I had people trespass on my property and steal papayas, bananas, guavas, lilikoi and mango.
ticks me off.
I wanted to put up nasty signs, but my (now ex) husband wouldn’t let me.

Stealing flowers from a private garden is reprehensible.
Besides, you can get whole florist designed creations from the cemetery…Mothers’ Day is a good day to find really nice arrangements, and the owners never complain.

I know from orchids. At least, I know from some orchids. In my experience, their flowers last weeks and then very slowly dry on the stalk. I still have dried blossoms from a stalk that bloomed *years* ago. Almost every one of them I had to pick off the stalk eventually; they cling for a very long time.

If the orchid flower simply *disappeared*, the grower is reasonably in assuming it was deliberately plucked.

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"The thing that drives me bonkers at work is to open up the trash can drawer and see a cup half-full of water that was carefully placed into the trash can so it doesn't spill--in a trash can an arm's length away from the kitchen sink!

99% of the people in my office are college graduates, probably toward the top of their class. But some without enough common sense to pour the water in the sink before putting the cup into the trash can.