Banana Counting Monkey

Tuesday, February 11, 2003:

"So if people hold their positions ... and we hope our brothers in Iraq will do the same ... if we are in the trenches they cannot get us. The enemy is going to waste their ammunition for nothing."

General George S. Patton, WWII:

There's another thing I want you to remember. Forget this godamm buisness about worrying about our flanks, but not to the extent we don't do anything else. Some godammed fool once said that flanks must be secured and since then sons of bitches all over the world have been going crazy guarding their flanks. We don't want any of that in the Third Army. Flanks are something for the enemy to worry about, not us. I don't want any messages saying that "we are holding our position". We are not holding anything! Let the Hun do that. We are advancing constantly and we're not interested in holding onto anything except the enemy. We're going to hold onto him by the nose and kick him in the ass; we're going to kick the hell out of him all of the time and we're going to go through him like crap through a goose....We have one motto"L'Audace, l'audace, toujours l'audace!" Remember that gentlemen

It's unclear who Hollywood has in mind for this decade's main villain, although North Korea seems to be off to a good start? namely, 007's nemesis in Die Another Day. Perhaps even Iraq, since conflict seems imminent there. Either way, Hollywood will surely find its next bad guy, because it makes for good business.

I have the answer. The French!

Seriously, you've got a nation of white people (so it's not racist to portray them as villians) who have something vaguely sinister about them to begin with. The US public is starting to hold a grudge against them anyway and they regularly try to ban Hollywood culture. There's plenty of french actors available for villian roles who'd do a great job.

For the last three years, serbians have been the new choice for Hollywood villians. I think the French will supplant them veeeeerrrrry soon.