ASSOCIATED PRESS -- President Bush today announced that, as of next year, Webkinz Day will be formally recognized as a national holiday.

"Aren't Webkinz the awesomest?" quipped a visibly giddy President. He continued, "Webkinz teach children, and remind adults, about many great American virtues, such as hard work, consumerism, and casino gambling. It is therefore only fitting that we set aside a day in their honor."