For years, the name Peckerhead has been spoken only in hushed tones by that handful of people who had actually laid eyes upon the creature and lived to tell the tale, a tale of a monstrous abomination, one half man, one half chicken, whose presence in the undeveloped backwoods of South Florida has long been the subject of campfire tales and fearful speculation. Most of these eyewitnesses have met with fierce opposition from their communities, been labeled kooks and, in some instances, downright liars. Many, faced with the almost certainty of public ridicule, have chosen to keep their silence. But we here at Murdered by ROBOTS are dedicated to uncovering the truth about this legendary boogeyman and, tonight, offer brand new and incontrovertible evidence – hard video proof – that Peckerhead is REAL!

The following is the second of only two known recordings ever made of the beast, captured on video earlier this month by local researchers as they were ambushed. Had it not been for the swift and heroic intervention of Internet star and fetish model Mandy Taylor, who appeared as if from out of nowhere to unleash her trademark brand of testicular demolition upon that feathery spawn of Satan, several scientist would have died. Instead, we are left with this chilling documentation:

Our heartfelt thanks goes out to the brave men and women who put their safety on the line in the name of science, and to the super sexy Mandy Taylor, who demonstrated total calm in the face of danger, and for her crotch-kicking ferocity.

In other Murdered by ROBOTS news, Two Guys Watching Porn delivers yet another new episode of mentally challenged verbal masturbation titled “Miley Cyrus and Rainbow Parties” in which hosts Rob and Chris discuss MTV’s recent Video Music Awards, wrestle with basic geometry, try to reclaim intellectual property and lament missing out on teenage sex parties… all building up to an exciting (or not) cliffhanger of an ending!

Well, the geek gods of Lumpiness have smiled upon us again, as the Murdered by ROBOTS rendition of The Mexican Hat Dance was featured as the last song of the evening (early morning) on yesterday’s (08/27/13) mind-bending edition of Lumpytunes! on 96.5 WSLR. Though only eleven seconds long, it was (for us, at least) a glorious exclamation point at the end of another 120+ minutes of high weirdness, and we were thrilled to be the caboose on that crazy runaway train, a truly loco locomotive whose cargo for the night included the Barnes and Barnes classic “Fish Heads“, vintage cuts of Monty Python, and a prolonged set and interview with Miami based duo Pocket of Lollipops, whose trippy brand of indie-pop dissonance will be performed live at Sarasota’s New Collegethis Friday, 08/30/13. For information on exact location and times visit: http://www.pocketoflollipops.com/Home.html

Sarasota locals can catch Lumpytunes! every Tuesday night at 11:00pm on 96.5 WSLR, and all others at www.wslr.org . Please support show host and Head Lump Rob Demperio, and all of the other fine people at WSLR, for fighting the good fight against commercial radio banality and for their unwavering support of local and under-the-radar talent!

Words and, more importantly, the ideas they convey have the power to spark revolutions. A persuasive argument can sway public opinion, topple governments and change the world just as surely as a well placed bullet. And so, as with any great power, the dissemination of information should be handled with a reasonable degree of responsibility. This is, perhaps ironically, the message behind this week’s Two Guys Watching Porn titled “The Penis, Mightier than the Sword“.

In the 1980’s, I was a great fan of the tabloid periodical The Weekly World News, that once infamous supermarket check-out line staple that sent wandering eyes rolling with headlines proclaiming Redneck Aliens Take Over Trailer Park, Prehistoric Bigfoot Lives!, and Pyramid Discovered on the Moon, and offering continuous updates on the mysterious Bat Boy, whose numerous captures and subsequent escapes proved so popular that an entire book of his exploits was eventually published. Of course no one, not even the most meth addicted sister-humping hillbilly in West Virginia, actually BELIEVED any of those headlines, nor accepted anything printed within it’s pages as anything other than pure bullshit. It was fake news for the sake of silliness, delivered without pretense and with a knowing wink. In other words, harmless low-brow entertainment.

Enter 2013, and a world where so-called “Breaking News” is broadcast 24 hours a day, to an over-saturated market where ratings determine the day’s headlines and impartial reporting takes a backseat to sensationalism… CNN, MSNBC, FOX NEWS, and endless online outlets for information are in constant competition for the next big story, circling like sharks for every last scrap of reportable chum. In this digital age of cut-throat news for profit, it is more important to beat your competition to the punch than it is to make sure that what you report is, in fact, true. And so the yellowing of journalism continues unabated.

Case in point – Oakland, CA news station KTVU‘s embarrassingly irresponsible coverage of the recent crash of Asiana Flight 214 at San Francisco International Airport on July 6, 2013. In an attempt to offer a news “exclusive”, KTVU exercised hilariously poor judgement when it chose to report the identities of the Asiana Airline’s pilots before properly checking their sources or subjecting the material to even the simplest scrutiny, as evidenced in their now notorious reporting of several glaringly erroneous and, potentially, offensive names: Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Bang Ding Ow and Ho Lee Fuk. Captain Janks himself couldn’t have hoped for better.

Now, Two Guys Watching Porn hosts Rob and Chris are no strangers to bending the truth a little, especially when it makes for a better story, nor do they deny telling the occasional bold face lie for simple shits and giggles, but they never claimed to be following in the footsteps of Edgar R. Murrow. Their podcast delivers their ill informed and somewhat baffling takes on the day’s important issues in the same idiotic spirit as those laughable tabloids of decades past, with tongues planted firmly in (butt)cheek and fingers crossed behind their backs. Blissful in their ignorance, they’re Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb-ass, paying considerably more attention to claims of Elvis sightings than to civil unrest in Egypt, or chemical weapons in Syria. Sadly, many of the so-called legitimate news outlets of today seem just as prone to distraction.

Catch up on all our previous episodes of Two Guys Watching Porn on iTunes and at Spreaker.com at:

MILF – the acronym that launched a thousand porn sites. In the lexicon of linguistics, certain words and phrases have been used so often that their meaning has become diluted. Every time a famous athlete is described as a “hero”, or a barely funny text is met with the obligatory “ROFLMAO”, the very building blocks of language begin to disintegrate. With each hyperbole, our words are robbed of a little more meaning, rendered less sincere, leaving us lost in a world of platitudes. But, every now and then, certain turns of phrase truly hit their mark!

Meet Melissa Dawson (@MelissaDawsonDD to her loyal legions of Twitter fans). This modern day pin-up queen is to MILFdom what The Rolling Stones (circa ’69) were to Rock n’ Roll – THE REAL DEAL. In fact, were you to look up the word “Milf” in the dictionary, you shouldn’t be surprised to findthis picture of the awesome Ms. Dawson in thigh high fishnet stockings and six inch high heels staring back at you.

In my adventures as a photographer for the Screaming Mime Theater, I’ve had the privilege of lensing this extraordinary model on three separate occasions, and she never disappoints. She exudes hotness as effortlessly as the Sun, mischievously running with the most off the wall suggestions and turning them into digital gold. She and her husband Tim are the embodiment of joie de vivre and that spirit of adventure is openly on display in every photograph she graces.

Together this dynamic duo travels the country, from photo-shoot to photo-shoot, enjoying exotic cruises and appearing at Fetish Cons, living a life of excitement most of us can only dream of. Most recently, the two appeared on the nationally syndicated The Billy Madison Show in which Melissa was playfully spanked on air, fueling the fantasies of listeners everywhere! And, most importantly for us here at Murdered by ROBOTS, she was even cool enough to appear in our music video “The Works“…

We look forward to working with her again in the near future, and encourage everyone out their to join us as we live vicariously through all of her escapades by following her on Twitter at: @MelissaDawsonDD

Hot off the heels of our most recent Lumpytunes! appearance, Murdered by ROBOTS has released the music video, “Down to the Slaughter“, starring exotic model extraordinaire Vigilante Vixxxen and resident masked madman and Screaming Mime Theater mascot Oliver. And, in an attempt to sate any cryptobiologist’s hunger for high weirdness, making his first appearance on film is Peckerhead, that mysterious monstrosity long suspected of stalking South Florida’s uncharted wilderness and rumored to be half man and half chicken! Filmed on location and at Bradenton’s famed Junkyard Rehearsal Studio, and directed by underground filmmaker Jizz Fassbinder,this shocking video is proof positive that the Truth definitely IS “out there”!

Special thanks go out to Vigilante Vixxxen, for lending her considerable talents and beauty to our latest video venture, and to Seasons of the Wolf guitarist/producer Barry “Skully” Waddell for his immeasurable help.

Just as Nero played the fiddle while Rome burned, Two Guys Watching Porn hosts Rob and Chris seek to distract themselves from the frightening reality of Big Brother in this week’s half-baked episode, “Thought Crime and Medical Marijuana”. As news of the NSA’s seemingly unlimited surveillance of every aspect of our daily lives redefines our once clear concept of privacy, these two half wits amuse themselves with talk of one night stands and legalizing the sticky-icky. Each day delivers new and more troubling revelations of unprecedented government spying… Including claims that all of our emails, texts, and phone records are being systematically monitored and logged in the name of national security, with total disregard for our once constitutionally protected right against unlawful search and seizure, all while Dumb and Dumberer dream of Tijuana sex shows. America, as we once imagined it, may very well be DOOMED!!!

Murdered by ROBOTS is honored to have been featured once again on 96.5 WSLR’s Lumpytunes! this past Tuesday night/Wednesday morning, our fourth(!) appearance on sweaty Sarasota’s coolest and most eclectic radio show! We are humbled to have been featured amongst awesome talents including Finer Points of Sadism, Paleface, Mayan Apocalypse, Giblet Dupree, Ken Nordine,and Boy Plus Girl. Our highest gratitude goes out to Head Lump Rob Demperiofor deeming us worthy of inclusion in his weekly smorgasbord of psychedelia, and for playing “Zombie Girl” and “Free Man Morgan” from our eponymous debut album (available for free download on Soundcloud at http://soundcloud.com/screaming-mime-theater/sets/tijuana-bible-college/s-fRyAf). All lovers of the weird and the wretched should tune in each Tuesday night at 11:00pm (EST) for a mind blowing portion of avant-garde gruel. Those schmoes in the 941 can catch the show on the FM dial at 96.5, and the rest of the world can get their fix of lumpiness online at www.wslr.org .

Rising from our ashes like a smut spewing Phoenix, “Two Guys Watching Porn” returns to the cyber-airwaves with our first monkey-spanking new episode since expanding our podcasting empire to ITunes! Refreshed from a 49 day vacation, hapless hosts Chris and Rob kick off Season Three with “Princess Mandy and the Word We Can’t Say”. Listen as we insert foot firmly in mouth and share behind-the-scenes anecdotes from our latest photo-shoot with the insanely hot Mandy Taylor, @PrincessMandyT on Twitter and the inspiration behind Murdered by ROBOT’s song “Mandy, the Queen of Testicle Torture”. A splendid time is guaranteed for all and, of course, Henry the Horse dances the Waltz….