Take a small town in Alabama, chocked full of colorful southern characters. Add a young lady named Bunny, who likes teased hair, tight clothes, high heels, white bread, and Spam. Follow her as she makes her way through a southern society she has never quite been a part of. It is a tale of old traditions, old families, friends, a little voodoo, and the skeletons that dance in the closet. Oh, did I mention her mother is the town madame.

My Life A Bit South of Normal

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Don't Mess With Pluto

We obviously have not been living right. For weeks before the wedding I was concerned about the rain. Then the weekend approached and I had to add cool temperatures to my list. We got through the wedding, dry but a little chilly.

Now, it is the first week of May and we are having days in the low 60s with rain. What's up with that? The last time I checked my fair state had not moved to San Francisco. And, if so, where are the trolley cars and the Rice-a-Roni? Seriously, this is the type of weather they have out there. As Mark Twain said, "The coldest winter I ever had was a summer in San Francisco." Though truth be told that was a misquote from something written earlier by a French writer complaining about a summer in Paris, but I digress.

San Francisco, Paris, and trolley cars aside it is time for spring. The magnolias should be blossoming. Instead, I fear they may be considering taking hiatus this year. I was diligent and had the "changing of the clothes" in late March, only to have to scurry around and pull out turtle neck sweaters and jackets to make it through April. And, what will happen - we will spring and moved right into the miserable hot summer. Someone up there has a sense of humor.

In February, we had days in the 70s. The Azaleas bloomed in late March. And, then winter reappeared in April along with monsoon like rains. I am sure Al Gore would attribute this to Global Warming or 'Global Climate Disruption' as it is now termed. Whatever! I attribute this to demoting Pluto from planetary status.

Obviously the knuckle head who made that decision was not paying attention in Mrs. Kissam's Seventh Grade Mythology class. Otherwise he would have known Pluto was the God of the Underworld (ie Hades, ie Hell). I cannot speak for everyone, but I am old enough to remember the commercial, "It's not nice to fool Mother Nature." Well, it is even worse to piss off Pluto. And, look what has happened.

The ice cap is melting, the Earth's temperature is rising, flowers are blooming early, and spring has skipped us yet again. And, the powers that be, the great minds at NOAA, are trying to blame it on Global Warming Global Climate Disruption? How about someone offed a planet not realizing they were incurring the wrath of the underworld in doing so.

So, just for the record, in my mind there are still 9 planets in our solar system, San Francisco's weather is just fine for San Francisco, and I would appreciate having our warm spring back. Oh, and I'd prefer to be able to cross the river Styx in peace, thank you.

About Me

My Mama told everyone she was raised on a tobacco farm. In her mind she envisioned Tara. She always referred to my father as being in the "Medical Profession".He was just a pharmacist. She insisted I grow up, in a world of cotillions and white gloves, all the while we had to deal with her increasing dependence on alcohol. Her sister had dreams of being a Kennedy. Daddy's sister was a role model for Aunt Bee. Since both never married, I just knew I was doomed to be an old maid. My parents divorced and my Mama, in her drunken way of thinking, refused to accept it, even though my father remarried. After she sobered up my mother & I became close. Then I saw a quirky side such as her fight with the florist on her street, a penchant for shopping at Dollar Stores, and her love of her sterling silver. I married and we have 2 wonderful daughters. My DH (dear husband, doting husband, damn husband -depending on the occasion) is the curious sort. Our home & backyard often resemble a zoo - only in the South. So this blog is to share this life with the world. As many say, "I couldn't make this up if I tried." And, yes, there is a book in the works. Stay tuned, the stories continue.