Our sources say: Nash departing, Malkin sitting

With the NHL’s trade deadline less than a dozen days away,
rumors are flying left and right as writers across the globe ponder
who’s on the block, who’s leaving town and who might be
coming to Boston to turn everyone’s frowns upside
down.

Though many of them will make a number of incorrect guesses, if
you throw enough (brown stuff) at the wall, eventually some of it
will stick.

But that’s not how we operate around here. We can promise
you that every nugget we share will come true, that every speck of
speculation can be taken to the bank. With reliable insiders
entrenched across the continent, not even a sliver of hockey gossip
slips past us. Here are the latest whisperings we’ve
overheard:

Our sources say…

… That Rick Nash (pictured right) will
not be in Columbus come the morning of Sunday, Feb. 26, the day
before the deadline. “Look, there’s a really good
chance Nash will be traded in the next ten days,” the source
said. “But even if he isn’t, the Blue Jackets are in
Pittsburgh that day to take on the Penguins. So unless he somehow
forgets to get on the plane, don’t bank on him being in the
state of Ohio that morning.”

… That Devils winger Dainius Zubrus will
finish the season with the most points in the NHL among players
with the initials D.Z. “He’s got 32 points through 56
games and he’s the only NHL player with those
initials,” the source told me. “Unless someone rises
from the AHL and goes on an absolute tear, I can’t see Zubrus
coughing up a lead that big.”

… That the sun will come out tomorrow. “Don’t
be afraid to bet your bottom dollar on this one,” our insider
told us.

… That Pittsburgh’s Evgeni Malkin,
currently the favorite to win the Hart Trophy as league MVP, will
be benched for most of the remainder of the season.
“It’s simple math,” the source told us.
“Even if he gets over 20 minutes of playing time a night,
that still means he’ll sit on the pine for roughly 40
minutes. Only a fool can’t compute that.”

… There’s a good chance Wayne
Gretzky will still be the NHL’s all-time leader in
points when the 2011-12 season concludes. “The only guy with
any hope of catching him is Jaromir Jagr,”
our source relayed to us. “But he’s 1,239 points behind
and would have to go on the run of a lifetime in these last
25-or-so games. But hey, I’ve seen crazier things
happen.”

… That public address announcers across the NHL will be
in a really sticky situation if anything of historical significance
happens on Feb. 29. “This Leap Year crap always makes things
really confusing,” our insider told us. “What if
Ryan Miller has the first 100-save game in league
history that night? Will the Sabres only commemorate the moment
every four years? ‘On this day, ten years ago’ has a
nice ring to it. ‘Sometime between today and tomorrow, ten
years ago’ really doesn’t. You know?”

… That general managers throughout the league are working
to make sure their cell phone plans include unlimited data and
texts – especially in February. “I heard Pierre
Gauthier up in Montreal sent his bill through the roof
trying to find video of Scott Gomez scoring a goal
to send to another GM,” the source said. “As if the
freakin’ guy wasn’t costing him enough money already,
right?”