Goodbye? A slightly long confession.

Hey everyone. I know I'm not the most active member of this forum even when it was still Ryonani, but I think I've come to the point where I need to make a confession. I've been a part of this group for a few years now and it's only now that I feel comfortable kind of announcing this to the whole world. As of today, I am 16 years old. I joined Ryonani when I was, oh, about 12. I'm not sure why I really want to tell all of you this, especially now, I'm sure everyone's going to be like oh this little kid why is he here or you're not old enough for this or some shit like that but whatever. I'm grateful for this community, helping me through my very confusing teenage years. I'm sure many of you older folks can relate. I got into Ryonani because when I was a young lad, my cousin beat me at Street Fighter. Badly too. He always played Cammy so I did too and every time that I lost, and heard her KO cry, something sort of twitched in me. And thus, my ryona life began. Over the past few years, I've been getting better at handling this. I'll be honest. As much as I love the interactions that happen here and just the atmosphere in general, I hate the fact that I am obsessed with ryona. I find myself gathering folders worth of ryona pics, videos, and mp3 files and then deleting them because I wanted to get "clean". After a few weeks, I'd be back at it again, collecting more pictures. I'm posting this as sort of a way to try and convince and help myself realize that this is it. No more. Through the realization that there are others like me, I've slowly come to accept who I am as a person. I'm sure I'll be back, maybe when I'm older. I'll probably never outgrow or even let go of my ryona fascination. I still have MKX and DOA5 Last Round. No doubt, watching Kitana or Kasumi get beat up is obviously going to spark that same twitch that my first and every ryona experience has. But I'm going to try. Thank you to everyone for simply being here. Knowing that even though I'm probably the youngest member doesn't matter when I know there are others just like me. But hopefully, thanks to all of my experiences being on this site and growing up, I'll be able to change and metamorphosize into something great. It's been a great time. I've had a lot of fun. But maybe I'll be back. Who knows what the future holds for us?

ok, im not sure what will happen with the age thing. I think it was stated that you had to be 18? idk..

regardless, i want to point this out, especially to you who is currently living out some of the most important and delicate years of your life. Im hoping you don't see it like this, but seeing the phrase "trying to get clean" is prompting me to tell you that enjoying ryona does not at all make you a bad person (confused, maybe.. but not bad). Accepting who you are is all swell and great but it shouldn't be on negative terms.

this is something that ive been through as well, and, over time, i realized that it is ... well.. just a fetish. im not harming anyone in real life, i abhor real life violence, so im not too hard on myself about it. you shouldnt be either.

haha i have the same cycle as you :) , Deleting Stuff then few days/weeks/months later i get back to it so i just came to realize something to beat this cycle , you should control the fetish and not overdo it , as long as it doesn't affect your life then it is ok , no one is perfect and all of us had negative things so if your only negative thing is ryona then you should be grateful that it isn't something bad that affects somebody else so don't push yourself hard

however , i recommend taking breaks between days from watching or even thinking about ryona , it will help a lot and in general you should gradually shrink the time and space that ryona or any fetish takes in your life

In conclusion , you will waste a huge amount of time and efforts to overcome ryona or any fetish in general completely because most of time you will return back so my advice to you is that you shrink that fetish so that it takes very small time and space in your brain and it only becomes that fun thing that you return to from times to times so that way you will trick your brain like that but if you want to completely be clean from it then your brain will act crazy and it would take years to completely get clean , Don't fight it , just ignore it and let it shrink by itself gradually and let it know its role while you enjoy it with your own will if you want

Hey Hoopla. I've read what you had to say and I can tell you that I've been there. 16 is young, you are a whole decade younger than me. I've had this fetish and was aware of it for a long long time. Street Fighter creates many of 'us' =P. I've been hoarding a lot as well and at times, I feel like a shitty and creepy person but as the previous users have stated, just take a break and realize that you are not wrong as long as you aren't hurting anyone or promoting real pain on others.

To be honest, I did regret deleting some of my saved content, things disappear now =P. Don't think that Ryona is a roadblock to getting where you want to go. During my ryona-fetishism, I've managed to finish college and get a solid career like many others here. If it does continue to stress you out, slowly ween it out of your life and replace it with other hobbies or exercises that bring yourself pleasure.

Sexual interest is part of growing up. While not really the same issue as you I eventually just curved my interests to something more acceptable to the general public. Honestly, I'm still adding to the list of fetishes that I can enjoy and I'm sure you can do so too. I think it is a better solution than just trying to quit. You can't help what you find attractive and arousing but you can learn to enjoy/appreciate other things as well.

At some point you will learn to not care about your personal tastes in adultery. Plenty of folk weirder than you. As for public opinion, obviously watch who you share with but I find that casually, jokingly admitting you like weird perverted stuff amongst friends isn't too bad. Though I'm known by friends to be half serious and half sarcastic at the best of times but I'm openly admitting that I like some of the more hardcore and nastier stuff to them with simple though graphic examples. Yeah, some of them think I'm weird but that is ok.
Avoid discussion and topic to all teachers/lecturers/employees/employers. Don't even joke about it. Basically in most institutions or workplaces they don't want to know.

[...]no one is perfect and all of us had negative things so if your only negative thing is ryona then you should be grateful that it isn't something bad that affects somebody else so don't push yourself hard.

Click to expand...

This illustrates a key issue many people have - seeing Ryona and tastes for it as an inherently negative thing. But after many years of living with these tastes, I've come to the conclusion that it is not more or less negative than other tastes. "Less socially accepted" than others, sure, and you can call that "negative" in it's own right I suppose. But liking Ryona and related stuff is not a character flaw or makes you a "worse person", at least in my opinion. Also I agree 12-16 is a sexually very confusing age, for everyone I imagine.

I am going to comment on the age thing, however:
When first reading over it I was a bit dismayed, but after some thinking about it I realised I have no grounds to be so.
My concerns were mostly along the lines of "I'm not comfortable with sharing this content with minors" and more importantly "I would not like to RP sexual stuff with minors, because I am not knowledgeable about the legal situation." However, reflecting on the issue, I realised that Ryonani, and now Undertow, has most of it's content visible to unregistered visitors and for those it doesn't have an age confirmation question. (I'm not sure if the current signup process has one either.) Yes, you can easily lie on those. Yes, I have done so myself. But I do believe there is a legal difference between having that age confirmation question or not having it. You won't be able to keep the minors away, but you will be able to claim "Well they lied on the age check, what am I supposed to do?" Though there are some more extreme cases:
Olaf Winter, of amazon-warriors.com fame, ran into issues with this, and to my knowledge is now required to see the scanned copy of someone's ID in order for them to sign up... you can imagine how much of a dampener that puts on fetish-related business.

So in short: I'm not entirely comfortable discussing these things with minors but since Undertow doesn't have an age restriction that's my problem, not anyone elses.

so long as it does not control your life, and so long as you make sure you know the difference between fantasy and reality, having a fetish is not a bad thing. it certainly doesn't make you a bad person! if you really wish to rid yourself of this fetish, i think it will be difficult, but i wish you good luck. if you find yourself slipping back into it, try to not be very hard on yourself :)