Writing a script

Hi,
I've written a full feature film script and I'm quite happy with it but I have two questions.

How often is it ok to describe the way character says something? Or should I omit it completely? For example:

MIKE (whispers)
This is useless.

Also, is it necessary to keep the rich language even throughout describing what's going on in the picture? Cases like when two consecutive sentences begin with the same word. For example, if they would both begin with 'he looks'. Do I have to care about that or it doesn't really matter?

keep wrylies [that's what they're called] down to an absolutely essential minimum... otherwise, you're stepping on the director's and the actors' toes...

as for 'rich language' i'm not quite sure what you mean, but screenwriting style is, of necessity, 'lean and clean'... if you write the action/description element as you would a novel, it's not going to be taken seriously... plus, it'll artificially pad the page count, which if written properly, will equal the minutes of running time, as 1 page = 1 minute is the industry standard...

i mentor many aspiring screenwriters, so if you want help, advice, or just an opinion on the quality of your script, feel free to email me any time... i can also send you tips from the pros on all aspects of the craft, including how to approach agents...

From you post I think it is fair to assume this is your first attempt at a screenplay. When I first started a few years ago I had no idea where to begin.

My first script seemed to contain all the elements necessary to attract but in reality nothing could have been further from the truth.

It was written as a shooting script not a speculative one. That’s because I based my presentation on the only book I had read about scriptwriting, and unbeknown to me, that was about shooting scripts and I didn’t know what a spec was.

I scoured the web and found TriggerStreet and InkTip and placed my screenplay on those sites. TriggerStreet provides reviews by other want-a-be writers and InkTip allows for accredited producers, directors and production companies to view your logline and if interested download your synopsis and script.

Within days I was educated by the reviews I received from TriggerStreet members as to the difference between spec and non-spec writing.

I quickly leant about the over use of wrylies, exposure through dialogue, not to include transitions or camera direction. The way to introduce characters, the importance of pacing and most of he other mistakes beginners make.

I immediately re-wrote my script. I also joined Zoetrope a similar site.

You might be saying so what’s so important about this, my story’s great, faultless, it is correctly structured in three acts, perfectly formatted and all of my descriptive text only shows the story and doesn’t tell it. I’ve no past tense or exposure.

My descriptive text is limited to a maximum of four or five lines for action, scene settings and location imagery.

All my main characters have an arc and I rarely exceed four lines of dialogue by any single character without dialogue from another character or descriptive text. Neither do I over use the same phrases or expressions.

And if that’s so, that’s great, but you still have no one to show it to and if it hasn’t been reviewed, you’ve only got your opinion and maybe those of friends to base your assessment on, that it is any good.

But how am I supposed to have my script criticized if I intend to have it professionally realized as a feature movie? One can't just run around showing his script to anyone or the 'accident' would happen.

But how am I supposed to have my script criticized if I intend to have it professionally realized as a feature movie? One can't just run around showing his script to anyone or the 'accident' would happen.

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The first thing you do is register it with a copyright agency before showing it to anybody.

I presume you have finance, producer, director and crew in place and you know from your previous experience your screenplay will be made as it appears that must be the case if you are so sure it will professionally realized, and not just hoping like the other 80,000 plus scripts written this year.

I see you from Sweden and maybe the script to screen process is easier but some how I doubt that.

But how am I supposed to have my script criticized if I intend to have it professionally realized as a feature movie? One can't just run around showing his script to anyone or the 'accident' would happen.

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You could put that one to one side and write another script, perhaps write a script in the form of a short film. You could use a similar style and have it criticised.

You could also look at scripts that have been used in films and use them as examples to guide you, some are sold online whilst others can be found on internet sites, they are easy enough to find.

Ron is right, the chances of your first script being produced are extremely slim. Don't let it discourage you, it's the fact of life. So you have two options.

1)You could make the film yourself, if it's too "Hollywood", then write a simpler script. A lot of writers and directors have made a name for themselves by making private films to start with. Just get some friends together and do it.

2)Save it. Write something else. Often you find that some screenwriters earlier material will get produced later in their career. Something makes me think you'll take this option.

I'm not worried if the script will be produced or not. I know it will.
I was just having some questions about details of writing it. I'm also writing some other scripts for smaller projects.
And I'll try to register the script too.

I'm not worried if the script will be produced or not. I know it will.

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Sang

I don’t want to piss on your parade but unless you have contacts within the industry, and have already established yourself as a writer or are producing your screenplay yourself, the odds of succeeding with your first screenplay are enormous.

Last year over 80,000 screenplays were registered and entered the market place of some 750,000 screenplays currently in circulation.

In that period Hollywood made less then 300 movies and less than ten of them were from spec screenplays and only two or three were by new writers to the film industry but I think all but one had at least been writing for television .

Most successful scripts are written as a commission by established writers already within the system and often spec scripts are seen as calling cards to get you a writing job.

The majority of Indy films are co-written by the producer or director and again the number produced was minuscule compared to the number of scripts sitting in an “In Tray” where the producer has said, “I’ll get back to you”.

Interestingly I understand the average number of scripts written by successful writers before some small suggest is nine.

I’ve written 17 spec screenplays and received several options but the screenplays I’ve written and are going into production were all as assignments.

I wish you luck and admire your confidence, I’m sure every writer starts the same way but the sooner you recognised the reality of the market place the quicker you are able to make real progress.

Well, because I work in the movies industry. True, it's not so big in here but I'm getting to know more and more people and I'm also making smaller projects and helping other people with theirs. It's only a matter of time until I get enough people interested in backing me up with it. It might take years to achieve that but I have patience for as long as the possibility of reaching my goal is real.
Also, being skeptic won't get anyone anywhere.

I have a Turkish friend who has written and produced several short and full length feature films in Sweden, in Swedish and in Turkish. It is possible, especially if you have contacts. And some students I know have won competitions with films they have made which have led to work on larger projects.

It's one thing being a realist, quite another paralysing yourself with a sense of failure before you've even got started.

For some, producing a bad script is effortlessly easy!
Back to your original question, check out as many scripts as you can on the Net and in the library, or, if you have contacts, try and beg a few screenplays to read. You'll see how much description is used--very little, and how the good ones are able to depict everything with dialogue. You can also ask for help, as I did, from a university that offers Film and TV studies (or whatever the department calls itself). They were the most help of all.