Reasons Madonna May Have Worn a Boy Scout Uniform to the GLAAD Media Awards

Madonna wore a Boy Scout uniform with fishnets and fingerless gloves to the GLAAD Media Awards this past weekend. Why? We’re not totally sure, but we’ve got some ideas…

-Lucia Peters

We thought a brown-haired, scruffy Cousin Matthew was the wackiest thing we’d see at the GLAAD Media Awards this weekend. We were wrong. How wrong? Very, very wrong—because Madonna wore a boy scout uniform to the event.

In an attempt to process it, we came up with a list of reasons we suspect Madge may have opted for this unusual sartorial choice. Here’s what we’ve got so far:

1. She’s trying to express her inner child.

2. She’s trying to develop a male alter-ego a la Lady Gaga.

3. She’s trying to express her inner child, who happens simultaneously to be both male and her alter-ego.

8. The blue pantsuit she was originally intending to wear shrunk in the wash, so she had to apply some last-minute creativity to make it work.

9. She realized that there’s nothing like a collar and a kerchief to add a little polish to a look.

10. She was leaving to go on a rustic camping trip right from the awards ceremony.

11. She’s mourning the end of her Girl Scout cookie stash by looking ahead to her forthcoming Boy Scout popcorn stash.

12. She forgot to pick up her cone bra from the dry cleaners.

13. She’s just Madonna. Deal with it.

In all seriousness, she actually WAS making a statement about the Boy Scouts, an organization which doesn’t allow openly gay people to serve in it (makes sense, given that this is the GLAAD Awards we’re talking about here). We applaud the statement and the sentiment, so we’ll stop questioning Madonna’s fashion choice. Although really, what were we doing questioning Madonna’s fashion choice in the first place? She’s Madonna. She wears whatever the heck she wants!