As the judge on "Divorce Court," I am familiar with, if not inundated
by, the thematic mistakes made in marriages. Yes, I know the show is a
bit extreme, voyeuristic, and, well, often a little silly, but when my
husband and I were staring into the marital abyss, I learned a valuable
lesson from "Divorce Court" that helped me out at home.

I learned this particular lesson from couples who couldn't figure out
how they had gotten to "Divorce Court" in the first place. They had
marriages that went awry in such small increments they didn't know what
had happened. But before me they were forced to compress years' worth
of trouble into a short presentation. Each telling me a different story
the other was usually surprised to hear, they often found that they were
coming apart not because one or both were wrong, but because of
unexamined needs. Seeing that scenario play out before me over and over
again helped me figure out what was going wrong in my own home.