Someone I know just phoned and asked about a problem they were having in Excel. Apparently it kept telling them something about “ejaculant sales” and they were, rather understandably, confused about this.

When I asked about the problem and looked into it, I found that Excel was in fact telling the hapless user that a formula entered did not refer to “adjacent cells”. God bless people who misread things and God damn Bill Gates for not bringing out the version of Office yet that makes schoolboy ejaculation jokes in its error messages.