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Topic: To Tell or Not to Tell (Read 16589 times)

BG: Twice per year my boss has to do employee evaluations. The time of the year that they are done is based on the time of year that the employee was hired. I won't get mine until later this summer. Three of my fellow coworkers for theirs yesterday.

Question: Two of my coworkers, Candy and Mandy, had their evaluations yesterday. After they were done, they sat there during work comparing how they rated on each item on the list. They weren't talking too loudly but loud enough that I could hear everything. They also speculated in a whisper about who they though should get fired. I then heard Mandy say that she scored lower on one part of the evaluation because of some "dumb *female dog* who is too sensitive." Candy and Mandy then tried to get my other coworker, Rhonda, to reveal how she was rated. At first she didn't but then shared one score which was higher than both Candy and Mandy which created some animosity. Should I report what I heard to my boss (My coworkers admitted that they knew what they we doing was wrong but felt that they were indispensable and therefore nothing would happen to them ) or do I keep this to myself?

I'm not at all sure why you think your Boss should know. What you saw was silly behaviour that has a lot in common with school children comparing exam results ("I got 70% in algebra. What did you get?"). Why would Boss care? Does what they were talking about actively harm others? Does it actively impact on their work or yours?

I'm also not at all sure how you could say anything to your Boss that didn't make you come over as gossipy and tittle-tattling. It may make your co-workers look bad in his/her eyes, but almost certainly won't do you any favours either.

Personally, I'd leave well alone and make sure I kept my own evaluations private.

I would say that you should tell boss the things that might affect work. Candy and Mandy talking to each other really doesn't affect antying , but coercing Rhonda and then getting annoyed might.

I might say "Boss, I just wanted to let you know that Candy and Mandy were discussing their evaluations with each other which is fine and not why I am here, but then they were coercing Rhonda into revealing her ratings and it seemed like there was some animosity because Rhonda's score was higher. I just wanted to give you a heads up in case you see some issues between them."

In deciding whether to speak up, you should consider two things. Firstly, how does their behavior affect you? If you can't readily answer this, then you're almost always better off staying out of it. The second is, what do you hope to achieve by speaking up? If you don't have a clear directive for mentioning it, then you run the risk of gossiping or tattling. Given that you weren't directly involved, I don't see many good answers to either of these questions so in your position I'd stay out of it. If Rhonda was bothered by their behavior, then it's up to her to say so, and if not, it's not up to you to intervene unless any or all of them report directly to you.

Honestly, evaluations might be stressful enough without these two asking for private info and planting the idea that people will get fired. It sounds like a hostile work environment to me and I would wonder if the employers are responsible for that.

I would say that you should tell boss the things that might affect work. Candy and Mandy talking to each other really doesn't affect antying , but coercing Rhonda and then getting annoyed might.

I might say "Boss, I just wanted to let you know that Candy and Mandy were discussing their evaluations with each other which is fine and not why I am here, but then they were coercing Rhonda into revealing her ratings and it seemed like there was some animosity because Rhonda's score was higher. I just wanted to give you a heads up in case you see some issues between them."

I would say that you should tell boss the things that might affect work. Candy and Mandy talking to each other really doesn't affect antying , but coercing Rhonda and then getting annoyed might.

I might say "Boss, I just wanted to let you know that Candy and Mandy were discussing their evaluations with each other which is fine and not why I am here, but then they were coercing Rhonda into revealing her ratings and it seemed like there was some animosity because Rhonda's score was higher. I just wanted to give you a heads up in case you see some issues between them."

I like this.

I don't. It establishing something that doesn't exist. As a boss, I wouldn't want to hear this sort of speculation.

These three may work this out themselves; usually people do--that animosity doesn't last that long. But bringing it to the boss's attention might actually make it MORE likely to last.

And as a boss (which I am), I don't want to hear this kind of stuff. I don't even really want to hear it AFTER the animosity has created trouble in the work space. I don't care.

and...when it's time for your evaluation, don't share it with them. Don't tell them that you are meeting with your boss. It's none of their business. If they do know and ask, just say, "That's a personal thing to ask." or "I prefer to keep my evaluation between me and ''boss'' " or "I'm curious as to why you want to know?" You already know their immaturity and their inability to not gossip. Stay out of it.