How to Dump Her Like a Man

It's one of the worst, most stomach-turning things a man can do. And most men do it with about as much decency as whipping an aged nun with her own rosary. We can do better. Here's what to keep in mind. Forget about preserving your status as the sweetest guy on the planet. Don't rob her of the opportunity to hate your guts.

1. Avoid that pathetic line about it being all about you, or worse, that she's "too good" for you. Being patronizing is just as shameful as using a Post-it note to tell her you're leaving. And never, ever embark on a long, excruciating campaign of low-level cruelty and increasing emotional distance until she finally breaks down and dumps you because you were too passive and frightened to do it first.

2. Make a clean break. That means no second thoughts and no reunion sex (unless she's relieved it's over, fine with it in every way, but still wants to fool around once in a while).

3. Remember, she might be happier about this than you are. But she is just doing that to make it look like she does't care and it did't affect her at all. Purely an act so don't buy it.

4. JFK Jr. was said to send a bouquet of flowers to women he was breaking it off with. And while we can't fully confirm or even condone this, we can recommend the sentiment behind it.