2. Contact Info

3. Dealer Selection

“Long time no Dodges and Chryslers,” I said to the rep who manages their press fleet in Detroit, “Whadya got that’s new?” He ran down his current roster of vehicles, and I stopped him at “Dodge Sprinter.” “Is that a plumber’s panel-van version or an airport parking-shuttle-passenger model?” I inquired. He assured me it was the latter, but in truth this ginormous 23-foot-long by 9-foot-tall van could probably serve both professions simultaneously. There’s enough height for 10 passengers to do jumping-jacks in, and behind the seats there’s room for a Jacuzzi tub and everything you’d need to hook it up. The opening he had in the Sprinter’s busy schedule happened to coincide with homecoming weekend at Michigan State University. I’m neither an MSU grad nor a football fan, but my brother-in-law is both, and he had already booked tickets to fly up and take in the game. “Perfect. Book me into it.”

Even if, like me, you loathe the barbarian premise and often lethargic pacing of American football, Big Ten pregame festivities are a guaranteed blast, as I learned during four years at the University of Illinois. So even though I had been spared the expense and certain boredom of attending the actual game, I eagerly agreed to drive “the bus” and partake in the pregame revelry. I sensed we were onto something during the hour-plus drive from Detroit to East Lansing. All the other Spartans passing us were agog at the amazing size of our craft. Once moored in our tailgating spot, our neighbors in their measly Suburbans, Silverados, and Expeditions were also visibly envious, asking about the big Dodge. “Where’s it made?” it’s assembled in Ladson, South Carolina. “Who makes it?” The knock-down kits originate in Germany at Daimler AG and are sold here through Dodge and Freightliner dealers. “How much?” $33,490 to start, $48, 270 for this long, tall, diesel version dolled up with such posh extras as a swanky sound system, Xenon headlamps, and $850 worth of the most ridiculously small sunroof I’ve ever seen perched high above the second of four rows of seats. Luxuries such as carpeting and windows that open aft of the B-pillar are not offered.

As titanic vehicles go, this one is more palatable than most. The steering is Euro-direct, the turn-circle diameter on this 170-inch-wheelbase version is “just” 54.6 feet, which sounds big, but is tight enough that my U-turns required no reverse maneuvering. The general handling is quite a bit more nimble than that of the super-duty pickup-based E-series Ford or G-body GM vans. Equipped like this one, with a 3.0-liter V-6 turbodiesel, it can deliver 20 mpg on the highway, too. Try that in a conventional V-8 or V-10 van of this size. The panoramic view out all the windows even makes it fairly easy to park, without relying on the Parksense system (which lights warning LEDs in the sideview mirrors to indicate impending obstacles in back).

What makes it an indomitable tailgate-mobile is the mounting of the bench seats. They’re a breeze to unlatch, and while heavy to maneuver, once out of the vehicle they’re stable enough to use out on the lawn behind the car. And with all belts mounted to the seats and regulation head-restraints, users can strap in for safety in the event that a nearby tailgater goes long for a pass and accidentally knocks the seat over. They even feature cupholders under the bench. And if weather had kicked up, we could’ve moved the two three-person benches up against opposite side walls and the turned the two-seater around to form a dry, cozy eight-passenger conversation pit in out of the wind (while parked). There’s a 12-volt outlet in back into which you can plug an inverter and your boom-box or iPod dock. I got nervous about depleting the battery and fired the diesel engine up for a while and was unable to detect any diesel fumes back where we were partying.

It’s not without its shortcomings though. First of all, with no rear windows that even pop open for venting, there’s no way to hang a Spartans flag inside for the ride up to the U, and once parked, our only satisfactory method of displaying the flag was to stick the pole into one of the holes in the steel wheels. It’s also a bit noisy inside on the highway and it’s no ball of fire in terms of acceleration. Furthermore, at the end of a long night game prolonged by TV commercial interruptions, when the bored bus driver is itching to get home, 82 mph is the governed top speed.

Avid fans with a large brood to schlep on game-day could do a lot worse than the new Dodge Sprinter. It’s even available in 22 different paint colors to nearly match most school color schemes. Rah, rah, rah!

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