Horror Headlines: Tuesday December 11th, 2012

No word on what sort of release it'll actually be getting but it looks like Rob Zombie's "Lords Of Salem" will finally see the light of day on April 26th, 2013. If that seems too far away then you might want to pick up the novelization that will hit shelves on March 12th. But honestly that's really just a little over a month earlier and if you can't wait a month you might want to see a shrink or something. You've got problems buddy.

I'm not really sure if this is exciting news but it looks like Robert Patrick will in fact return to "True Blood" next season as a full blooded cast member. For those of you still play catch up Patrick played that father of Alcide the werewolf. For those of you who are completely lost "True Blood" is a show about vampires staring the girl who I always think is the girl from "My So Called Life" but she isn't. She does have giant teeth though... TEEFF!

Summit Entertainment has picked up the rights to the big screen adaptation of Chase Novak's "Breed". Burr Steers will write and direct the film about a couple who are turned into bloodthirsty freaks after they try out a experimental fertility treatment. And I thought the worst thing about fertility treatments were having kids. Am I right? I'll be here all week.

In Real People News:

There's nothing more adorable than a couple of cute kids, ages 7 and 11 for instance, greeting you in a church parking lot. That is of course unless those kids are holding a gun and are robbing you. Then it kid of sucks.

If you're a 19 year old kid and you break into someone's house you better damn well sure check to see if that guy is home and is currently employed as a boxer. Because no matter how much you plead with him he's going to punch you in the face and then you'll just look like a pansy in your mug shot.