Lilo and Stitch - Being 8 at the time and also being surrounded by kids the same age as me I expected a lovely Disney comedic animation (which it was), however before i was allowed to watch this lovely Disney film, I had to watch the first 30 minutes of 'Signs' because the projectionist had a mishap and didn't notice.

Star Wars Episode 2 Attack of the Clones - Around about the same time as Lilo and Stitch I went to see Attack of the Clones for my friends birthday party in which it was me, him and his mum sitting a few rows back. In the scene where Yoda fights Count Dooku showing us his athletic moves doing flips etc. A woman in the cinema was going MAD with laughter and I mean hysterical, she started choking a few times she found it that funny, we turned around.......you guessed it...... it was his mum. I have never seen him Blush so much.

Paranormal Activity 2 - This kind of doesn't count because it was after the film had ended however, as we were waiting for the train back home from the cinema (we went to a night screening) about 5 drunks stumbled off the train dressed as Spartans from 300 screaming "Spartans what are your professions!".

Paranormal Activity 3 - Behind the row we were seated in there was about 2 full rows of drunken young adults (19-23) who decided to show up for the film. During the entire film their reactions were hilarious with some of them even starting to cry in fear. One special moment in the whole night is when one of the drunk females turned to her fellow drunkards and asked "Is this real? I am never going to sleep again if this is real."

Woman in Black - Recently, 2 days ago to be exact, I went to go see the surprisingly very very good Woman in Black. As Helen O'Hara PERFECTLY put it in her recent blog the audience can make or break this film. What she mentioned in her blog is scarily an exact replica of what happened in my viewing of the film, teenage girls were screaming their heads off and running in and out of the screen during the intense moments. The funny part of this screening was how the elder more mature audiences didn't stand for this with about 3 or 4 people screaming "Shut the F*$£ up". However, this didn't ruin the film for me and I advise everyone to watch it, great film. Should have been a 15 certificate though.

Lilo and Stitch - Being 8 at the time and also being surrounded by kids the same age as me I expected a lovely Disney comedic animation (which it was), however before i was allowed to watch this lovely Disney film, I had to watch the first 30 minutes of 'Signs' because the projectionist had a mishap and didn't notice.

Star Wars Episode 2 Attack of the Clones - Around about the same time as Lilo and Stitch I went to see Attack of the Clones for my friends birthday party in which it was me, him and his mum sitting a few rows back. In the scene where Yoda fights Count Dooku showing us his athletic moves doing flips etc. A woman in the cinema was going MAD with laughter and I mean hysterical, she started choking a few times she found it that funny, we turned around.......you guessed it...... it was his mum. I have never seen him Blush so much.

Paranormal Activity 2 - This kind of doesn't count because it was after the film had ended however, as we were waiting for the train back home from the cinema (we went to a night screening) about 5 drunks stumbled off the train dressed as Spartans from 300 screaming "Spartans what are your professions!".

Paranormal Activity 3 - Behind the row we were seated in there was about 2 full rows of drunken young adults (19-23) who decided to show up for the film. During the entire film their reactions were hilarious with some of them even starting to cry in fear. One special moment in the whole night is when one of the drunk females turned to her fellow drunkards and asked "Is this real? I am never going to sleep again if this is real."

Woman in Black - Recently, 2 days ago to be exact, I went to go see the surprisingly very very good Woman in Black. As Helen O'Hara PERFECTLY put it in her recent blog the audience can make or break this film. What she mentioned in her blog is scarily an exact replica of what happened in my viewing of the film, teenage girls were screaming their heads off and running in and out of the screen during the intense moments. The funny part of this screening was how the elder more mature audiences didn't stand for this with about 3 or 4 people screaming "Shut the F*$£ up". However, this didn't ruin the film for me and I advise everyone to watch it, great film. Should have been a 15 certificate though.

Did anyone shout "You're a wizard Harry!"? I've heard from a couple of friends who have seen it (at separate shows) that some wags can't let it go.

was quite young and was at a near empty screening of Star Trek V end of summer 1989. i entered and sat near to the back, away from a group of teen boys in the centre. they looked over at me a few times before turning their attention to a lone man who had entered and made the mistake of sitting a good few rows in front of them, near to the screen …

it was that uneasy period (for those on own that is) of lights being on, soft music playing, before the ads and trailers began. No mobiles to fiddle about with then. i could sense in the air what was going to happen as i pretended to look through the latest issue of Flicks (id already read it about 3 times over)

sure enough the group of teens began whispering and chuckling...there was no doubt what they were going to do. finally the odd popcorn was lobbed at the back of lone mans head. he ignored it...there were titters, followed by more popcorn. no reaction. one of them started laughing loudly. Popcorn throwing went on intermittently over about 2 or 3 long minutes before one threw an empty coke can and hit him right on the back of the head - there was laughing for only a millisecond before i could hear the violent intake of breath as the man launched himself out of his chair and turned round screaming 'YOU ****ING ****ERS!!!' The group fell over themselves trying to get away, jumping over empty seats and running up the aisle out the screening. one made eye contact as he ran past - there was genuine fear on his face. The fun had gotten out of hand and gone horribly wrong. the lone guy stopped his attack and then calmly walked out. he was gone about 5 minutes (probably complaining to member of staff) then the lights darkened and the ads started and he came back and returned to his seat ready for Star Trek V to begin.

thankfully the group of teens didnt come back (what the hell they were doing in star trek screening i'll never know - shouldnt they have been watching batman for the 20th time?)

morale of the story i guess never mess with a lone guy about to see the latest star trek movie - it just isnt worth it.

i remember being at a near empty screening of Star Trek V end of summer 1989. i entered and sat near to the back, away from a group of teen boys - maybe 4 or 5, in the centre. they looked over at me a few times before turning their attention to a lone man who had entered and made the mistake of sitting a few rows in front of them …

it was that uneasy period (when your on your own that is) of lights being on, soft music playing, before the ads and trailers began. No mobiles to fiddle about with then. i could sense in the air what was going to happen as i pretended to look through the latest issue of Flicks (id already read it about 3 times over)

sure enough the group of teens began whispering and chuckling...there was no doubt what they were going to do. finally the odd popcorn was lobbed at the back of lone mans head. he ignored it...there were titters, followed by more popcorn. no reaction. one of them started laughing loudly. Popcorn throwing went on intermittently over about 2 or 3 long minutes before one threw an empty coke can and hit him right on the back of the head - there was laughing for only a millisecond before i could feel the violent intake of breath as the man launched himself out of his chair and turned round screaming 'YOU ****ING ****ERS!!!' The group of lads fell over themselves trying to get away, most jumped over the empty seats behind and out the doors but one ran up the aisle and we made eye contact as he ran past - there was genuine fear on his face. The fun had gotten out of hand and gone horribly wrong. the lone guy stopped his attack and then calmly walked out of the screening he was gone about 5 minutes (probably complaining to member of staff) then the lights darkened and the ads started and he came back and returned to his seat. reading for Star Trek V to begin.

the group of teens didnt come back (what the hell they were doing in star trek screening i'll never know - shouldnt they have been watching batman for the 20th time?)

morale of the story i guess never mess with a lone guy about to see the latest star trek movie - it just isnt worth it.

Chances are that was better than the film itself.

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And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts And I looked and behold, a pale horse And his name that sat on him was Death And Hell followed with him.

Don't fuck with fanboys I guess - while they're usually quite passive pack animals (unless they're near message boards) if you corner one on its own and the fight or flight reflex kicks in you could be in serious trouble.

Even when I was younger I always hated people who came to the cinema to talk, use their phone or worst of all: annoy other people by throwing food etc. Worst occassion I can remember was during Proof of Life, the forgettable Russell Crowe thriller, where a surprising amount of teens had snuck in.

One restless crowd in particular seemed to have chosen seats next to a skip, judging by the sheer amount of items being throw towards people sitting at the front. Several complaints were made whereby someone would return with the timid manager who walked up to the back and asked if they could "keep the noise down". Of course, as soon as he left it all kicked off again until finally one man from the row directly in front of the rascals finally had enough. stood up, span around and began wailing on the nearest delinquent (probably only about two hits on reflection, and not that hard, but it was still quite shocking). Needless to say the twats quickly left to whistles and applause.

Funniest cinema experience was Up In Smoke, the Cheech and Chong film. I'm going back to the days when you could smoke in cinemas, and the place was packed. For the first 20 minutes, people popped in and out of the toilets, clearly getting stoned but too scared to spark up in the cinema. Until the first person did. Then the sound of big Rizlas being ripped out of packets was enough to warrant subtitles. By the end of the film you could barely see the screen through the haze of Dutch Laughter smog. I'm getting nostalgic for cinema seats with built in ashtrays now.

Me and a mate got absolutely Chonged while watching Hackers years ago (mid 90's, there was strictly no smoking allowed). The screening was completely empty apart from us so about 15 minutes in my mate thought fuck it and started skinning one up, the projectionist came in midway through the first joint, sat beside us and had a few tokes before going back into his booth.. We were both fucked by the time we got out. Great days and to be honest that probably explains why I still have a soft spot for such a shit film

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Acting...Naturaaal

Your knowledge of scientific biological transmogrification is only outmatched by your zest for kung-fu treachery!

My most memorable experience was when I went to see Love Actually by myself. I made the horrible mistake of going on a Saturday night and found myself surrounded by couples. I have no problem going to the cinema by myself but felt a bit incomfortable at that. Anyway, I was sitting towards the back of the cinema and about halfway this ripple of laughter filtered back from the front. Wondering what everyone was laughing at, I looked from the screen to the audience and saw this guy at the front who must have been bored because he was stripping off! He took all his clothes off and then danced naked around the cinema until the ushers removed him. His mates had to take his clothes out to him.

Another moment which was endearing rather than funny was a few years back in Leeds when I went to see Casino Royale with Shaws. Our hearts sank when, shortly after taking our seats, about 20 lads aged about 10 trooped in and sat in the rows in front of us, accompanied by an adult or two. We expected them to be fidgety but they weren't, until it got to the point where it looks like Daniel Craig and Eva Green are about to have sex. The lads in front weren't noisy about it, but there was a lot of nudging, whispering and a general air of excitement. Obviously, being a 12A it cut away before any action could take place but it was just really cute and amusing!

I remember when the Exorcist got its re-release after years of being un-viewable in the UK. At the screening I was at, there were a number of young couples who probably weren't even 18. Obviously the reputation of the movie to shock was well known to them all, but the had clearly never seen it before and were getting a bit restless (what can I say? These were kids who were brought up on Scream etc!), so there was a bit of bravado by the boys at times, for the benefit of their dates - laughing at the girls' reactions to jumpy scenes, mocking it for being dull not frightening, you know the sort. Then came the infamous head twist scene at which one of the noisier ones actually whimpered like a scared puppy, while the rest of them either issued a brief expletive or said nothing at all for the rest of the movie. The power of Regan compelled them to shut the fuck up!

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WWLD?

Every time we think we have measured our capacity to meet a challenge, we look up and we're reminded that that capacity may well be limitless

I left in love, in laughter, and in truth and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.

brilliant. Similar experiecne watching The Blair Witch Project. Gobby kids behind us and I swear with about 10 minutes of the film to go, one of them was crying.

I did see someone run down the stairs (obviously in desparate need for a piss) run along the front then full pelt at the door, not realising it opened inwards I think the whole cinema laughed out loud, and when he came back in, he bowed

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Joined: 6/10/2005 From: A breaking rope bridge in the middle of the jungle

quote:

ORIGINAL: sharkboy I remember when the Exorcist got its re-release after years of being un-viewable in the UK. At the screening I was at, there were a number of young couples who probably weren't even 18. Obviously the reputation of the movie to shock was well known to them all, but the had clearly never seen it before and were getting a bit restless (what can I say? These were kids who were brought up on Scream etc!), so there was a bit of bravado by the boys at times, for the benefit of their dates - laughing at the girls' reactions to jumpy scenes, mocking it for being dull not frightening, you know the sort. Then came the infamous head twist scene at which one of the noisier ones actually whimpered like a scared puppy, while the rest of them either issued a brief expletive or said nothing at all for the rest of the movie. The power of Regan compelled them to shut the fuck up!

Pretty much the same happened when I saw it in Bristol (it was halloween as well, so it was 75% full of goths and people in fancy dress, which was a first for me at the cinema), however the head twisting scene was the one that that drew the most laughter. Slightly ruined the film for me forever more, that night.

Anyway, not so much funny ha-ha as funny weird, but me and a mate went to see Orgazmo when it had its (very) brief run at the only cinema in Bristol that was showing it (Showcase). It was just us two (on opening night, as well), until this middle aged guy on his own came in. We were sat in our standard middle of the row, middle-back of the screen, and this guy, of all the other seats in the house he could have chosen, headed straight for the very front row, far left seat on the very end (so the front seat furthest away from the main entrance to the screen). Which struck us as...odd.

Other than that, and aside from the usual cunts talking on their mobiles/chatting to their mate or partner, and shitty little kids walking into a film halfway through only to fuck around and annoy everyone, my visits to the kino have been pretty uneventful.

The Woman in Black - This was probably the funniest cinema experience I've had my whole life. Me and a few friends went to see this and we basically turned it into a comedy. And the audience helped, me and my friends cheered every-time the creepy dolls came on, the rest of the cinema eventually joined. One member of the audience kept saying MILF when the ghost of the woman came on. And every time we heard a door knock we kept saying, "That must be the pizza guy" and last but not least, there was one character, I can't remember his name, but anyway whenever he came on and said "Arthur" we would reply "Fuck off" in an old english accent. Add these to a barage of Harry potter jokes...

The Woman in Black - This was probably the funniest cinema experience I've had my whole life. Me and a few friends went to see this and we basically turned it into a comedy. And the audience helped, me and my friends cheered every-time the creepy dolls came on, the rest of the cinema eventually joined. One member of the audience kept saying MILF when the ghost of the woman came on. And every time we heard a door knock we kept saying, "That must be the pizza guy" and last but not least, there was one character, I can't remember his name, but anyway whenever he came on and said "Arthur" we would reply "Fuck off" in an old english accent. Add these to a barage of Harry potter jokes...

I doubt I would have found this behaviour funny if I was sitting in that screen.

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"I am a writer, a doctor, a nuclear physicist and a theoretical philosopher. But above all, I am a man, a hopelessly inquisitive man, just like you."

The Woman in Black - This was probably the funniest cinema experience I've had my whole life. Me and a few friends went to see this and we basically turned it into a comedy. And the audience helped, me and my friends cheered every-time the creepy dolls came on, the rest of the cinema eventually joined. One member of the audience kept saying MILF when the ghost of the woman came on. And every time we heard a door knock we kept saying, "That must be the pizza guy" and last but not least, there was one character, I can't remember his name, but anyway whenever he came on and said "Arthur" we would reply "Fuck off" in an old english accent. Add these to a barage of Harry potter jokes...

The Woman in Black - This was probably the funniest cinema experience I've had my whole life. Me and a few friends went to see this and we basically turned it into a comedy. And the audience helped, me and my friends cheered every-time the creepy dolls came on, the rest of the cinema eventually joined. One member of the audience kept saying MILF when the ghost of the woman came on. And every time we heard a door knock we kept saying, "That must be the pizza guy" and last but not least, there was one character, I can't remember his name, but anyway whenever he came on and said "Arthur" we would reply "Fuck off" in an old english accent. Add these to a barage of Harry potter jokes...

The Woman in Black - This was probably the funniest cinema experience I've had my whole life. Me and a few friends went to see this and we basically turned it into a comedy. And the audience helped, me and my friends cheered every-time the creepy dolls came on, the rest of the cinema eventually joined. One member of the audience kept saying MILF when the ghost of the woman came on. And every time we heard a door knock we kept saying, "That must be the pizza guy" and last but not least, there was one character, I can't remember his name, but anyway whenever he came on and said "Arthur" we would reply "Fuck off" in an old english accent. Add these to a barage of Harry potter jokes...

The Woman in Black - This was probably the funniest cinema experience I've had my whole life. Me and a few friends went to see this and we basically turned it into a comedy. And the audience helped, me and my friends cheered every-time the creepy dolls came on, the rest of the cinema eventually joined. One member of the audience kept saying MILF when the ghost of the woman came on. And every time we heard a door knock we kept saying, "That must be the pizza guy" and last but not least, there was one character, I can't remember his name, but anyway whenever he came on and said "Arthur" we would reply "Fuck off" in an old english accent. Add these to a barage of Harry potter jokes...

A friend of mine took his elderly grandad to the cinema in the 70's and he promptly fell asleep and slid down in his seat until his head was on the arm rest. This was back when you could smoke in the cinema and the bloke sitting next to him tried to stub out his cigarette withou looking & put it on my mate's grandads cheek. I still laugh to this day when he describes how he screamed during a really quiet part of the The Deer Hunter

The Woman in Black - This was probably the funniest cinema experience I've had my whole life. Me and a few friends went to see this and we basically turned it into a comedy. And the audience helped, me and my friends cheered every-time the creepy dolls came on, the rest of the cinema eventually joined. One member of the audience kept saying MILF when the ghost of the woman came on. And every time we heard a door knock we kept saying, "That must be the pizza guy" and last but not least, there was one character, I can't remember his name, but anyway whenever he came on and said "Arthur" we would reply "Fuck off" in an old english accent. Add these to a barage of Harry potter jokes...