So I’ve come to semi belong in the “office clique”. This means things like going out for happy hour on Fridays, the occasional lunch date & having others to commiserate with on a rough day. But there’s always that strange disconnect with office mates-they are real people, but in my mind, they exist only within the walls of the of the online journal aggregator that we work for. Their adventures outside of the office weren’t something I’d ever considered, and really, it had been just fine that way. I liked knowing my friends through their various abilities-account coordination, tech support, email marketing.

But one day all of that changed. Karen decided to bridge the gap and take a horrifying leap of trust.

“Can I tell you something you can never tell anyone else?” she says, as we drunkenly stand outside the local margarita joint, Karen flicking her cigarette into the puddles from that day’s rain.

“Of course.”

“You know Derrick, right?”

Of course I do- he is Karen’s boss, and an all around nice guy. We tease Karen often about Derrick, the two get along like two peas in a pod. Derrick’s name had been coming up more frequently in our conversations recently, so despite his wife and two kids, (and despite Karen’s 6 year, live-in relationship) it had become pretty obvious that Karen might’ve had a bit of a crush. But I was not prepared for what Karen had to say next.

“I know I’ve been joking around about Derrick-but what if I told you something had already happened?”

I think I just nodded, I was pretty shocked, and for once I was completely speechless.

“I gave him a blow job, in the single restroom at work.”

Now what in the fuck was I supposed to do with that tidbit of information?! My version of Karen in tech support was completely shattered, and in her place stood a secretive, sultry adulterer.

“Oh my god!”, I said, unable to hide my complete shock. She just smirked and nodded, giving her spent cigarette a flick, and turning to head back inside.

So now, I know about it, and I can’t un-know about it. In fact Karen had taken it a step farther later on that night, saying that she wanted to get Derrick alone in the hotel room she’d booked for our upcoming company holiday party. Personally I wasn’t amped enough on the party to book a room and stay, but I could certainly understand Karen’s motivations.

Additionally, Karen’s cube isn’t far from mine, so now each time I hear giggling behind the divider my mind treats me to an image of Karen on her knees in the single bathroom with the ugly tile.

But I guess anyone whose ever lived in the kind of glass house where Karen’s currently residing, shouldn’t really dare to throw any stones.