Facebook Privacy | GSC. Episode 22

Welcome to the Gas Station Cappuccino by Caffeine and Kilos. I'm Danny Lehr, next to me Dean Saddoris. We're here for episode number ... that's right we don't say them anymore.

Yeah, a lot. We're getting up there.

That's the 23rd one we've recorded.

Jordan.

Its our Jordan year.

It's a good year.

Yeah, the whole Jordan year thing.

That's a good mouse.

Turn 23.

Is this the same mouse we've always had?

No, it's a brand new one. I got it. This is another one, there was a-

Very sleek.

Nine bucks on Amazon for the wireless USB mouse.

It looks kinda like a ...

Fighter jet.

Yeah. It's pretty cool looking.

The problem is it's almost too good, like on the side it's got these two little buttons though.

They're useless.

Yeah, well they're like the next page, previous page, which you don't wanna hit very often and it kind of fucks it up.

Because you hit it on accident.

Yeah, all the time. But I'll adjust. I'll adjust to it.

Dean, you ever on Snapchat anymore?

Oh man it's been a long time. It's been a minute.

Yeah, I know, me either.

Probably end up deleting it.

Man, that's tough.

Could use the gigs.

You know what sucks? I like Snapchat so much better than Instagram stories, but it's just one of those things, everybody's on Instagram, it's just easier and you can see the posts, the stories, it's just more convenient. I think it's just at the point now ... plus the redesign totally ruined it for me too.

Yeah. Yeah, it's just not as easy to use. You click on it and you think you're gonna watch a video, but no, it goes to sending somebody a message.

Oh that's annoying.

I do that all the time. I'm not trying to send this person a message. I'm just trying to watch their video.

And then-

Now I've already lost interest. Now I don't even care about what the video was, because it's a frustrating experience.

They probably got a notification saying that you're typing to them.

Yeah probably, even though you're not.

Yeah, that's the whole thing. So the other day somebody sent me a message on Snapchat. I opened it up and, yeah, the whole thing too is confusing, because then if you go to the right now where it just used to be only celebrities and stuff, sometimes it's just random people in there, like friends. I don't know, your friends aren't always all together, it's kind of weird. But here's the thing, I go to open the message and I'm like, "Let's see what's going on in their feed." Go over there, and I might start using Snapchat again.

Oh, new feature.

Well, no, just who was in that feed on the right hand side, there's a Swae Lee story.

Hmmmm.

Swae Lee from Rae Sremmurd.

Mmmm, hmmm.

Rapper, singer, I don't even know. What I caught myself doing though, a little rabbit hole, started watching Swae Lee on the Snapchat story and then I'm just sitting there, all of a sudden he just starts kissing his pet monkey. Like, he has a monkey.

Like a French kiss?

No, just like...there's like...his pet monkey. It's just chilling in its little monkey jungle gym and he's like, "Oh, hey baby. What's going on?" Petting it on its head and then gave a little kiss on the cheek and I'm just like, "What the hell's going on?" Then I was like, "You know what, this is the beauty of Snapchat though."

It's when you want to kiss your animals, you put it on the B-roll.

What a time to be alive. You're a famous rapper, you show your affection to your cute little pet monkeys. Give them little smooches on Snapchat.

Yeah, that's interesting.

Isn't that odd?

Yeah. I heard monkeys are terrible pets though. My dad had one.

Shut the fuck up.

No. Swear to God. Swear to God.

Your dad.

Yeah. They had a pet monkey when he was ...

One of those little guys?

Yeah. It was like a little one in a cage. This is when I think he was in his mid 30s I think, mid to late 30s.

He said, "Fuck. I'm gonna get a monkey."

Yeah. They had one. They got rid of it. It was a nightmare. He said it was like literally it would constantly play with itself and what happens when that happens? Stuff projects out of the cage.

Are you ... ?

It's a whole thing. It's definitely not like one of those pets. I'm sure some are worse than others, but it's not one of those pets that's like really good to have, unless you have some kind of like enclosed contraption for it. No bullshit. True story.

Sounds messy.

It was. They had to get rid of it. It's funny, because it would start doing it when women would come in the house. Not kidding. It just shows you how close ... it's very weird. It's very strange. Monkeys are scary.

Flattering.

They're scary.

At the zoo, I actually don't like to ... like, gorillas, especially and chimpanzees, they just scare the shit outta me, because they're so strong. Think of humans, what humans are capable of strength wise. You are capable ... your muscles, you're capable of lifting twice what you actually can, but your central nervous system, your muscles only fire so much because your central nervous system and your pituitary whatever, hypothalamus or whatever, anyway, your brain doesn't want you to tear your muscle off the bone so it will only fire hard enough to allow it to contract at a certain strength level. But they're actually capable of so much more, it's like your body has this ... protecting itself from itself.

It's like a [inaudible 00:05:33] converter.

Yeah. That's how you get the whole mom pulling the car off the baby, that type of thing, because their body is like, "All right, fuck it, let loose."

Yeah. The adrenaline probably takes over.

Adrenaline takes over and then it's like your nervous system quits holding you back. Anyway, so I'm just thinking, all right. So if people are just like so strong, this whole thing, think of apes. Think of like a gorilla, how muscled, how muscular, how muscled they are. Dude.

Have you seen that video where those two gorillas are fighting?

And how fast they are?

And how that one jumps off the side of the wall?

Dude.

[inaudible 00:06:13] style, but it's this 600 pound silverback and it's literally running at 35 miles per hour and then walks on this wall and gets behind this other gorilla and grabs him. It's the craziest thing I've ever seen. I gotta find that video. I don't remember where I saw it, but it was the scariest thing I've ever seen. You can't get away from that.

There's nothing ... have we talked about this on the podcast before?

Probably.

I don't know. I say this all the time, that's the one thing I would not want to be in a cage with. Also, they're smart. What are they thinking? Say you're in there and it's like a fucking lion. Now, one, I don't know what this lion's thinking, but I feel like it's a lot more like, "I'm hungry or I'm not," "I'm tired or I'm not," "I'm threatened or I'm not." That's kind of what's going on. "I feel threatened or I don't," that's kind of where it's at. But gorillas, you start talking about apes, who knows what they're thinking. The thing is too about a lion, honestly, I'd rather be in a cave with a lion than a gorilla, because I feel like a lion, maybe I can get my thumb in its eye. Maybe I can do something, but a gorilla, you're just fucked.

Yeah. A silverback, like full sized [crosstalk 00:07:26]

Oh. You're in there with a Harambe, you got nothing.

Yeah. I think you're screwed either way, but I feel like it might be easier to avoid the lion. Even though they can scale trees though. You're pretty much screwed.

You've never seen me scale a tree though ... so ...

You can scale it, and then it will be bright behind you. You know. It will just be a waste of your energy. Try and do something else.

I don't know man.

[inaudible 00:07:54] a scary animal.

Primates. I want nothing to do with primates.

They just so closely resemble the human body.

Weird.

It makes it almost look like they're almost kind of like surreal beings.

That's exactly what it is. This thing, I think it could have fueled a jet.

It is gasoline.

I'm glad it's so thick though ...

Racing fuel.

I'm trying to get the stain back in that mug.

You know, we should probably just leave her a note inside the mug that says, "Clean this, you lose your job."

I've got an issue with Rosario. She's doing a great job. Everything's really good around here.

A little overachieving.

She washes my mug every single time. I just know like every Tuesday morning when I walk in and I look over and the mug is drying next to the sink and I get upset.

Is she the one that's putting all that shit on the drying station?

I think so.

Oh. I've been yelling at everybody that works here about that. I'm like, "What is with the drying station? Why can we not just fucking dry it and put it away?"

Rosario.

That makes more sense. It's like, "Okay. I'm gonna take all the time to wash this fork, clean it off, and then lay out a paper towel, set it on there, and wait for the drops to just dry away instead of just wiping it with the towel and putting it back in the tray.

Well, it will waste paper towels.

No. It's not.

Think about it.

You can use one paper towel for everything.

Well maybe. That's probably true.

Then it would be fine. You know what I mean? It's the same paper towel that you're sitting everything on, you could have used to dry everything.

That one paper towel could have ran everything through.

Probably.

The amount of things you could fit on one paper towel, that paper towel could also wipe dry ...

All those items.

Should we leave a note for Rosario about that too? Here's the thing though, part of the joy of Tuesday mornings is spending about 10 to 15 minutes just dressing her down to everybody else, since she's nowhere around. Just complaining about it. A good 10 minutes complaining about it. If she does it again ...

She cleaned up so good in here. I walked into the front door, because I thought it was open. Bullshit.

Then you complain about the drying station, I complain about her washing my mug. Kind of get the whole thing going.

She does a great job.

Yeah, absolutely. And I'm actually glad she does those things, because otherwise, what would we do with that 10 minutes on Monday? If we're not pretending to be upset ...

You got to blow off some steam right away.

If we're not pretending to be upset at somebody for actually working hard, what are you doing?

Exactly.

It's been a couple weeks, but Dean, I'm curious your thoughts. I don't think we've talked about this too much. The whole Zuckerberg in front of ... what was it? The Senate? Congress I guess.

Great memes came out of that whole thing.

Oh yeah.

That's a whole other story.

That's a whole other thing. I just don't understand what everybody's confused about.

Well, because I don't ... okay, my whole theory on it is people are just ... I think when you do things behind people's back, it's kind of like out of sight, out of mind thing. It's like, "Okay, well, they're asking me for all this information, but I don't know what they're doing with it, so whatever." Then when you start getting things like, specific ads or specific kind of marketing sent your way, you get all frustrated, but it's like, well, you chose not to read the privacy policies, you chose to just press accept, you chose to agree on all these things, where you knew this was a possibility, yet you gave up your rights to privacy by downloading Facebook.

Privacy.

Yeah, privacy. Why are you now upset? Because it's convenient to be upset?

I don't understand ...

Or you're just so bored with your life that you ... "I gotta be upset about something."

All right. First of all, my opinion on the whole thing. One, people opt into stuff. You signed up for the service. You put down your birthday, you put down your gender, you willingly put all that stuff in there. It's not like someone's sneaking around behind and whatever, like sneaking around your house.

Yeah, going through your purse or your wallet.

They're not opening your mail going through your mail, necessarily. Although Google probably as your e-mail, they're absolutely going through your e-mail, but that's a whole other topic. The thing about Facebook is, one, that. Two, if they keep track of the things that you like online, one, you're publicly liking things online and you're clicking on stuff on their website. Of course they know what you clicked on on their website. People think that they can click things on other websites and that company's not paying attention to what they're clicking on? Of course they are.

What's funny is, real quick before we get too far away from this one part is that even when you click on those things, things I'm interested in, it tells you the whole purpose of that is to streamline your experience on their offerings, on their website. "Oh, you're interested in these things? Okay, we'll give you more things, easier access to things that are like this also."

That's exactly what I'm saying though. What's a better user experience, going on Facebook and seeing ... I don't want to go on Facebook and see a bunch of ads for fucking chemical peel masks. That doesn't do anything for me. I'm never gonna buy that, that's a waste of money for the advertiser. Furthermore, I just don't need to see that shit in my feed. If people are serving ads to me that are about the things that I'm interested in and things that I like, that's a way better user experience. So, "I can't believe that they have ..." Facebook has like 150 data points on every single person. One, you can answer questions. Two, the things that you like on other people's Facebook pages and the things you search. You type something in on a search engine and you're like, "How do they know this about me?" It's like, well, you typed it into their search engine. You told them you're interested in this. It's like, don't you want to see ads for the things you're interested in compared to ... if you're gonna see an ad, it's gonna happen. There's gonna be ads. Wouldn't you rather it be the things you're interested in?

Are people upset about that or are they more upset about the fact that Facebook is selling that information to other people? Do they think that they should get a piece of the profits? What is their ... I wonder what they're upset about, the fact they're doing that.

I don't know what.

It's their information to do whatever they want with it. Yeah, it's your information that you gave to them.

You gave to them.

It's like you gave up your rights to keep that information private.

Correct.

Then you gave it to this Facebook entity, and then they can do whatever they want with it now.

That's absolutely it.

Either don't have Facebook or just fall in line and don't worry about it.

Don't give out your information like that.

Yeah. That's on you. Make a fake Facebook. Go on Catfish. Start Catfishing people. If that's what you're into. There was actually one that was in Sacramento and this dude met up with this chick over by the river and they do the final meetup at the end and the guy looked exactly like Samwise Strong. I sent a picture to him and I'm like, "Sam, is this you? Have you been catfishing people online?" So funny.

I just don't understand it. I just don't get it.

The catfish?

The whole thing. The whole people being upset.

It's a joke. It's a joke. "Oh, you're giving up our right to privacy." No, you gave that up yourself, willingly. There's no one here to blame but yourself. There's plenty of people that don't have Facebook that Mark Zuckerberg and all those people over there at Facebook have no idea about what they're into. You know why? Because they didn't make a Facebook account. It's as simple as that.

So those of you that are ...

I didn't know when I signed up for this public forum that my information would be seen by other people.

Those of you that disagree, send us an e-mail and let us know.

You know what I have on my Facebook set up right now?

Podcast@caffeineandkilos.com

My Facebook right now is set to literally 100% private. Only I can see what I post. But if I'm communicating in a group or something, people can see that, but you can't go on my profile and view any of my stuff. Only I can. Just because I don't care to really have Facebook. I use it just for my team, weightlifting team Facebook group and some other buy, sell, trade kind of stuff and stuff I'm interested in, like shoes for Jordans or whatever.

Sometimes people send messages, if someone's trying to get a hold of you if they don't have your number or something, they can leave a message.

I still feel like I need to have Facebook to communicate.

For those types of things.

But then like, I don't want to have a profile with a wall for people to post on or people to go through my pictures that I don't want people to see from fucking 2005. You know what I mean?

Right. There you are in a bikini on the beach.

Yeah. Dicks out.

It's a dicks out world. What it really comes down to.

You know what I mean though? I don't know. I never use Facebook for anything besides groups or messaging people or getting in contact, because you can call people on Facebook now. You don't even have to have a phone service anymore. You can just make a call on Facebook and WhatsApp.

And Snapchat.

And Snapchat.

You can voice call through Snapchat.

It's so funny. It's kind of like when I bought that Fire Stick thing, it's like, man, you don't need cable, you don't need a phone bill. If you really wanted to, you could make it work without it.

Oh yeah.

We choose these things for convenience that cost us $500 a month combined.

You know what, also, it's what you're used to. The things that aren't totally all put together yet, like you said, Fire Stick, sometimes it's a little inconvenient.

Oh, it's definitely more inconvenient, but I feel like if I had no other choice, you would just totally get over it.

Yeah.

That's all you would know.

It's just like if you have cable or whatever, if whatever package you have, you only have the channels you have. If you don't have it, you don't have it.

I've given it a few trial runs so far and I just don't think I can cancel.

Oh really?

Yeah. It's just not streamlined enough. It takes a long time to get started up. You gotta go through these loopholes. You've got to go through like three different things before you get to where you need to go. It takes time to load and get all set up. Once it's set up, you're good to go, but every time you turn it on, you gotta reset it up.

It's a whole thing.

Yeah. It's not as big a deal as it sounds probably, but it's just not as easy as pressing power and then it's like ESPN's on.

This is how it works in my house. Alexa, turn on the TV.

Yeah. You can't do that.

And the TV comes on.

You do not have any smart home devices.

Oh, there she goes.

To get started [crosstalk 00:19:44] section of the Alexa app.

Then it just turns on to whatever, it sets the input in the right spot, turns on whatever channel you have it pre-programmed to turn onto and ours is on Disney Junior or something like that. That's my favorite channel.

Is this through the plug-in or do you use something else?

It's through the Harmony remote.

Oh. Okay.

That's how it does it. That's how Alexa is hooked up to it. Then, after that, I go, "Oh, tonight I want to watch the Warriors game or whatever. It's the playoffs. Then I say, "Hey," I say her name, Alexa or whatever, "Change the channel to channel 206." Then I'm done. You can program different things. Sometimes I'll actually say, "Turn on the Warriors game." Then it will turn on the TV, set the input on the TV, turn on the DirecTV box, and change the channel to Fox Sports Bay Area.

Nice. Yeah, that's convenient. There's none of that going on.

Not on Fire Stick.

Not yet.

It's like, "Fire Stick, open up this application, search the third column on the right, second one down, click on that."

Yeah, I know. What you could do though is you could have it set up to have it programmed to do different HDMIs. Turn on HDMI two and then it would turn on your Fire Stick and then you'd get half of it done.

You could name it Fire Stick. That's what we do for the Roku. Like, "Hey, turn on the Roku." It turns on the Roku. From there you've got to kind of decide what service you're going through, if it's Netflix or Hulu or whatever.

That's all that Fire Stick is, is like a Roku. It's the same thing.

Yeah, same thing. Dude. Let's talk about regionals. What'd we do in the regionals? I saw you posted a little teaser on the story.

We're doing tie-dye to order. Custom tie-dyeing at regionals. We have shirts for sale. It will be white shirts with the logo on them. We haven't finished that yet. Then there will also be hats and socks probably.

The idea was just to do the event tees but then we figure, we got these white hats and we've got these white socks. If someone wants to juice them ...

Juice up.

The juice is loose.

The juice is loose. Yeah, it should be interesting. It should be cool. I think it will be a nice little hands on element.

Mobile juice bar.

Yeah, on wheels.

Yeah.

We're just gonna start traveling around city to city in a juice bar. Slinging tie-dye. It will be good for California region I think. It keeps it up with the old palm tree and beachy kind of vibes.

Hippie vibes.

Hippie vibes. Might as well have it in Berkeley next year.

Yeah.

Do it there.

We'll actually have two stations. The juice bar, where you can tie-dye your shirt for you, and then we're also gonna have the other station where you can drink your own urine.

It's a step by step ... by the way guys, what he's referring to is Ronnie Tisdale, previous CrossFit competitor, owned a gym and everything, if you follow him on Instagram, very interesting. He did a whole post about drinking his own pee.

Yeah.

He actually showed himself doing it.

Yeah. He's always been doing that kind of off the wall stuff, and it's slowly been progressing.

He's the jean shorts, right?

Yeah. He used to wear the ripped up jean shorts. He used to be a male model, but now he lives in L.A. He had CrossFit, Mean Streets CrossFit.

Yeah, Mean Street yeah.

I don't know if that gym's still around or if he sold it and it's still being ran by somebody else.

Definitely did a whole post about drinking his own piss.

Yep.

Have you seen that, Aaron?

No.

Dude. First, it's a video. At first it just shows a toilet and a hand holding a mason jar.

Is he being serious?

It's a stream of piss going straight into the mason jar. He's like, "Third glass of the day."

Is he being serious?

Yeah.

Oh, no. It was real.

Really?

Yeah, he like ... there's a whole thing. He's like, "I've never actually done any research on this before, but just from personal experience, I've been practicing this for three or four years now basically, and I've always believed that drinking your own urine gives you super human powers." Then he talks about that your urine is just made up of three things basically, it's like water, uric acid, and something else. It's not good to have blood levels, but it's not like you drink it and it goes straight in your bloodstream, your stomach and kidneys still process it as your urine. He went into this whole thing about why it's ... not only is it not a big deal but he thinks it's fucking great. At home, he just drinks his own piss.

He was definitely hydrated because it was a good color.

It was a good color.

It was a good piss.

Yeah.

It looked like if there was any kind of piss to drink, it looked like that one.

He must mix some water in it.

He must be heavily hydrated. I did see the other day that he's doing a four day water only diet.

That's probably why he's drinking his own piss.

It was also literally hand bottled stream water, so it wasn't just regular water.

He filters it from the stream?

I think he just dumped a jug in some spring water.

Well, that's the thing. He only needed the one jug worth. Then he just keeps drinking his own piss.

It's gonna cycle through. What I'm getting at is it definitely wasn't clear water. It kind of had a little color to it.

The murky.

It was kind of murky. It had a yellowish color. It kind of looked like urine.

I hope he's filtering it. He's gonna get Giardia.

I think it was from a spring. I remember there was this place next to this cabin my dad used to own when I was growing up, and there was a place you could walk to ... I can't remember, something Springs, obviously. Anyways, there was a faucet there that was constantly running.

Was it called Golden Springs?

No, not Golden Shower Springs. It was ... anyways, it's a spigot that's plugged in, and there's a filter somewhere, but you can just fill up all your water. It was all filtered, natural spring water from Lassen Natural Forest. Literally, like off the side of the road. It was awesome. There was a sign there that talked about it. We'd always go on a morning walk, we'd get thirsty.

Take your jug.

Yeah, exactly. Get some water. You're out there in the woods and it's a beautiful day and you're drinking this natural, ice cold, ice cold spring water. It was like, man, it just tasted so good.

Sounds wonderful.

It was wonderful. Honestly, one time we should just go up to that area and camp out there.

I'm down.

We'll go to this place called Willow Lake. It's a little bit of a drive from ... once you get to Chester, this is like Almanor, so you drive to Chester, the town of Chester's about three hours from Sacramento, then you take a left at this firehouse over by this coffee shop which is the fucking bomb by the way, hella good coffee. I think it's a little mom and pop coffee shop. They have good pastries and foods and cookies and shit, and coffee. Take a left there and then you go through, you kind of get into the sticks. Then you get to the cabins where all the cabins are, and you can go down to Willow Lake which is like another 45 minutes, 30 minutes because you have to go really slow, then there's two little campsites. There's not that many campsites at this lake, there's like two when you first pull in. Then there's this huge open lake surrounded by cliff ends. Awesome. Beautiful.

If you close your eyes, you picture like Native Americans running up on the edge of it.

Dude, it's crazy. If you're looking at it from the campsite, to the right is this trail where you can walk and I think it might be a three mile hike or so and you can walk to the hot springs, natural hot springs. It's pretty cool. I might have told you before, but that's where they've pulled out ... someone's pulled out like a six foot catfish out of that lake.

Really?

Yeah. Crazy. It's on a picture at the True Value down there. Pictures of all these people that caught fish down there. Six foot catfish.

I think so, yeah. I actually might download that and see what it's all about.

I have downloaded before, I've listened to a few of them. [inaudible 00:28:57] was on one of them so I listened to that because I was interested. He was talking about what ... he's done the math on what he thinks is the edge of human capabilities for mile time.

Oh, because eventually it's gonna stop.

Right. Just based on the math of it, the physics of it, if people run this fast ... because he really believes in the body angle right, it's all about lean. You have to lean to a certain angle, then you have to move your feet fast enough essentially to keep up with that angle. It's where human is now able to ... and like the length of time they're able to hold that, where, basically it is just impossible.

Then you've got to start relying on technology with shoes and clothes.

Track.

The track itself.

Yeah, I think he just did the math based on basically body angle and the ability to hold the angle for the period of time.

What have we covered today?

We talked about Facebook, Zuckerberg.

Facebook and everybody giving up their privacy and then getting upset about it.

Privacy. We talked about Rosario.

Rosario.

Cleaning lady. Washing my mug every damn week.

We talked about consuming human urine.

Lots of drinking piss. That was a big topic today.

Interesting. Also, by the way, I've never met Ronnie. He seems like he'd actually be pretty cool to hang out with.

To be honest, I'd love to meet Ronnie.

Yeah. It's kind of interesting, people just choose to try different ways of living.

Yeah.

I think it's ... I find it highly entertaining. I've been following Ronnie for probably six, seven years on Instagram. I always find what he's doing pretty interesting. Actually, maybe there's more I could learn from him as far as other things.

Not only did he post about it publicly, so it's fine to talk about, but also, I just kind of feel like if somebody ... yeah, that's really it. If someone posts about something publicly, especially about drinking their own piss ...

It's not like he's been doing this closed doors and we're exposing it. No, this is obviously something he wants people to talk about or else why would he post about it?

Do you think Moises Alou coming out and talking about pissing on his hands during spring training is what inspired him?

What happened?

This was like years ago. I was in high school still. Remember Moises Alou, the baseball player?

Yeah.

That's what he said. Like, everyone knows, spring training, when you get your calluses up on your hands so you piss on your hands.

To dry them out?

I don't know. But he swears, because I think he's Dominican, right?

Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Yeah, it's this thing. It's what we do. You piss on your hands during spring training and it helps build up calluses. It was a big ESPN story. I never thought it was a big deal, because, it's whatever. It's not like this crazy thing, like, "Oh my god. I can't believe it."

Maybe he's got a thing with picking up jelly fish. Oh man, I got to piss on my hands again, take the sting away. He just can't walk past a jellyfish without picking it up.

That's how it all started. Then one time he realized, oh man. At first he thought maybe it was the jellyfish venom, getting the calluses up. Then he realized, no, it's actually the piss.

Maybe it was both. He's like, "You know what? What's easier to get my hands on? This piss I've got with me all the time, or go to the ocean and find these jellyfish venom?"

Talk about some pleasant serendipity, just happened upon the fact that peeing on the mitts gets you going.

It worked.

It reminds me, with Maddie starting tee ball, I'm gonna have to let her know.

She's graduated.

No. No, she didn't graduate.

Yeah. Cap and gown.

Preschool. Doesn't count.

Jedi school.

Oh god. I will admit that preschool or kindergarten or eighth grade even, I'll admit that that's like a thing, like kindergarten graduation or preschool graduation, that's a thing when they don't let kids do it because they didn't do well on their work. They're like, "No, Johnny, see how when you colored that cloud, you definitely got blue inside the white, so we're gonna have to hold you back another year of preschool." When that starts going down, then maybe I'll say it's a thing. But right now they're just putting a cap and gown on every fucking kid there.

I still ... I'm a firm believer that that paper had no writing on it.

I think it was a dowel.

On the scroll.

It was a dowel I think.

A wooden dowel, with a ribbon on it.

Probably. Ridiculous. Picture was cute though.

No, they were good.

I'm gonna have her start peeing on her hands so when she's in tee ball she can really get that bat going.

Build up those five-year-old calluses.

That's right.

Is it even possible for a child that age to get calluses?

Probably the strongest kid on her team.

Probably. All those gymnastics.

Oh gymnastics.

And just genetics. She's a muscular child.

She's always been yolked.

Gymnastics and get all that shoulder work in, all those lat work on those paralette bars.

Oh yeah.

Got the balance down.

Well, I taught her her colors with the kilo plates. That's a true story. This is actually a good tip for anybody who has kids. When your kids are whatever, between one and two, 18 months old, they start walking around a little bit, you're teaching them colors. I used the change plates for kilo plates. I was lining them up and I put them on the edge of the platforms so she could get her little hands under them, and I'm like, "All right. Bring me the green one," and she'd bring over the one kilo plate.

She's getting strong at the same time.

Didn't even know it. She didn't even know she was working out. "Okay, now bring me the yellow one." They'd all be a little further away. So then boom one and a half kilos, she's picking it up and carrying it over. "Okay, the blue one." Now she's carrying two kilos. See like an 18-month-old and they're carrying around two and a half kilo plates, that's over five pounds. How many 18-month-olds do you all know that are carrying around five pound plates?

Then one day, remember, she picked up that 25 kilo plate over her head. Started overhead walking lunges with it. She was like three.

Until that accident.

Sort of spinning it like a basketball.

Like a pizza.

Throwing it like a pie. Twenty five kilos.

Awesome. There you go. That is this episode of Gas Station Cappuccino.

That was a good one.

Dean, next week.

Next week.

Gotta do it.

It's suicide.

Gotta do it.

Gas Station Cappuccino suicide. It was funny because I went and got gas at Chevron over by my house the other day and I scoped the machines and I was gonna take a picture for Instagram but I didn't have my phone. It was in my truck.

That's the worse. There are AM, PMs a quarter mile from here.

I know, it's that far. It's far away.

All right. There we go. Thank you for joining us. If you enjoy Gas Station Cappuccino, please write us a review. Give us the gold stars, whatever you think we're worthy of, one through five.

I'm a five star man.

Yeah. Five star stunner. Bird man. Give us a review on iTunes, write us a review. We'd much appreciate that.

Please, yes.

Tell some friends.

Yes, tell them.

There we go. This has been Gas Station Cappuccino by Caffeine and Kilos.