Am I scared? No. Am I worried about her eating my food? Yes. Is it frowned upon by law to fall in love with your adopted sister? Yes, probably. Will I do it anyways? That makes 3 yeses.

Bored. Yet handsome.

But here’s the thing: lately I’ve been bored out of my mind! It’s like 6 bazillion below outside which means I don’t go for walks as much and playing outside is pretty hard on my little fraws. (You know, frozen paws – fraws. I thought everyone called them that…)

So I lay around. I bark at the fireplace. I suckle on Mittens. I solve an algorithm. I lay down again. And it’s like 11:30 am. Being bored is so… boring!

Now, I’m gonna have a little sweetie to act all crazy with – and I couldn’t be happier. I’m gonna teach her all the best places to poop, how to do imdoginations and how to make it look like you are sad when all you really want is cheese. Then we’ll run around like crazy dogs and do that move where we jump on the couch, then off the couch, then on the couch, then off the couch, then on the couch, then off the couch, then on the couch, then off the couch, then down the hallway. Life, my friends, will be oh so good!

Yup, it’s been a while since I’ve thoroughly entertained you with some imdoginations. But hey, I’ve been busy – you know, trying to find a couch made entirely of bacon on eBay. There’s gotta be one out there…

Anyways, sit back and enjoy these imdoginations (sorta like impersonations, but for dogs)! Then vote for your favorite.

What do you want for that meal? My collection of bacon crumbs? One slightly-suckled stuffed raccoon? No? How about a garbage can full of gold bars? What?… Well I don’t have it here – I actually keep it in a storage facility in Wisconsin. No, seriously! What would I have to gain by making this up?! Now just put the plate on the floor and we’ll drive to Wisconsin later.