Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Beating the traffic cops at their own game

Now and then, I enjoy taking my life in my own hands and riding a commuter shuttle to work. The afternoon passengers are typically weary workers with spirits crushed by life in Baltiless but the ride to work is more raucous. The driver told me once that methadone maintenance patients ride that route in the mornings in order to get to the clinic first thing.

One young lady was using the ride to finish her morning toilette, including applying a coat of heavy makeup in a minibus that's hurtling over the Crappiest Roads in America. The effect was....stunning. Eventually, she finished getting all dressed up for the clinic, and joined in on the hootin' and hollerin' and carryin' on, to use a favorite phrase of my grandma's.

On this particular day, the conversation had turned to DUI convictions. Most people seemed to have them, often coupled with charges of reckless driving and/or driving without a license. They wondered how to get out of them, and how on earth they could possibly avoid them. How indeed, readers?

Our protagonist had a suggestion. "Last time I was pulled over for a DUI, the cop let me off because I was pregnant."