Editor’s note: Lovefraud honors all religious and spiritual beliefs. However, we’ve heard of many sociopaths who twist the teachings of the Bible in order to keep victims from escaping exploitation.

A reader sent the following letter in order to encourage those who are in this situation—knowing they are being abused, but being told that Scripture says they should put up with it. The reader has no affiliation with the organizations posting the material; she just thought the links were helpful.

For those individuals who are of the Christian faith (and / or of any faith) — and who have, also unfortunately found themselves exposed to either sociopaths / the supporters-of-sociopaths (within their very own family or spiritual setting or, as is very often the case, both) — the following links may be of some help in discovering and receiving Biblical “support” in being able to acknowledge the God-given FACT that ”tolerating a sociopath’s abuse” is very simply …

1) NOT part of a Christians’ “bearing one’s cross”;

2) NOT something that a Christian MUST simply ”just forgive and forget” in order to have God also “forgive and forget” their own wrongs;

3) NOT merely a part of a Christians’ spiritual OBLIGATION to “turn their other cheek” (70 x 7)

4) NOT a part of “loving or ‘blessing’ one’s enemies”;

5) NOT something that in anyway “glorifies” or “honors” God, nor is it in anyway a type of “obedience” to the commandments left by God to all of mankind, nor does it follow along the lines of the “will” that God has planned for one’s life.

God has a GOOD will and plan for everyone’s life and God both can and will help people to escape, overcome, heal and even, somehow, also be able to learn from the abusive experiences that you have survived.

GOD HAS THE POWER AND THE WILL to, somehow or another, use these past experiences to “transform” a person (despite all the abuse) into becoming the very best person that they can become (to themselves and to others) and can actually somehow miraculously also use these experiences to work out all together for the GOOD within their own life (Romans 8:28; Jeremiah29:11; 3 John 1:2) and in the lives of others.

The process of ‘Forgiveness’ and the act
of ‘Reconciliation’ are NOT the same thing.

The act of ‘Reconciliation’ is NOT a “required”
part of or step in the process of ‘Forgiveness’.

The ‘offer’ of ‘Forgiveness’ is a “gift” that the
wrongdoer is able to ‘accept’ only AFTER they
have truly ‘repented’^^ of their wrongdoing

(^^ confess/admit to, turn away from/stop doing,
and make amends for their wrongdoing; sincerely
make efforts to adequately prove to the target of
their abuse/exploitation that they are contrite;
empathetically understand/accept the initial
reaction the target has toward them as being
justified response to their wrongdoing; etc.)

Your comment makes an excellent point about how so many
people feel ‘biblically trapped’ (for lack of a better way to put
it) in marriages (or other relationships) with partners who
are complete and utter sociopaths (and this is generally
due to false teaching and lack of proper support systems).

It’s just like you stated …. [our Creator] “wants us to
experience joy, not pain and exploiation. The bible doesn’t
teach us to be pushovers. [AND] Even Jesus drew the line.”

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I married a con man

—a man who I now consider to be a sociopath. I didn't know anything about sociopaths when I said, "I do." Before you give away your love, your money or your life, read this website.—Donna Andersen, author of Lovefraud.com