Female and male decisions implicating on intimate relationships and dynamics

Wednesday, 25 June 2014

Men dating younger women

“There
is a time in our life when we are too young to even blink at the future, and
another time when we are too old to think of anything but what lies ahead. And then there is the middle ground, when we
simply do not know whether to smile back at the past, or increasingly worry
about the dark roads ahead.”

There is a consensus from many men, and even
women, that the older a woman becomes, the less physically attractive she is
progressively seen to others. This isn’t
every woman, and this is important to point out. However, taking away the celebrity females or
those who have the disposable income to pay for cosmetic surgery, then it will
be a fair argument to say that most women you know will not show improvement
post 25 years of age. In other words, a
21 year old doesn’t usually look any more attractive when she reaches 25. Taking it on further, a 25 year old will look
less attractive when she reaches thirty.
Not all women, but most. Many
aspects of life progression such as having children is the main contributor,
but even women who have not experienced motherhood will still fall into this
fact of life. I guess it’s simply
“mother time” - girls mature earlier than boys in their teens, and consequently
they physically age quicker in their 20s and 30s.

Now I have many male friends or acquaintances
that have also followed the same path.
They were relatively attractive guys in their late teens and early 20s,
but then they encountered their good friends in alcohol, fast food and the late
nights of regular occurrence. The
inevitable result was weight gain and looking a little fatigued. If they never lose this habit of life then it
is a domino effect of looking older and older.
On the other hand, if a man acknowledges this kind of living will
significantly and rapidly age him, he can adjust his life to suit. He can take the conscious decision to eat
better, sleep longer, drink less alcohol and join a gym. These are the sacrifices he must make, but
they are just some of the actions he can take to look after himself. If he does, unlike most women, he can improve
his physical look and appeal. He may
have lost his boyish looks, but instead he develops a more defined, groomed and
mature appearance. Throw in the fact
that he is now conceivably earning much more money than previous years,
combined with owning his own property, and he becomes quite a catch. It is the unspoken consequence that the older
a man gets, the higher his sexual market value can become. In contrast, it is usually the opposite
effect in a woman’s world.

A man in this situation has the natural
ability and attributes, providing he combines it with personality, charisma and
a level of interaction strategy, to
attract women as young as 18 to as old as 45.
The younger category of females will usually visualize him as a guy in
his mid 20s because of his youthful look in comparison to his chronological
age, and even when knowledge of his years may intimidate her, it also excites
her as well as massaging her ego. The
older extreme of females will see a younger man than her, but someone with a
developed presence. She will place her
bet on the basis he is at a stage in his life when persona outweighs an
immature attraction, and although there will always be doubts to whether it
could work, again, dating this guy will inflate her self-value.

The blog will later cover the advantages and
disadvantages of a relationship with an older woman in another post. As most men in this luxurious position would
opt for the younger women, there are a number of positive and negative
considerations they have to understand, whether that is prior, during, or even
after his experience with a female in this age bracket. For clarity, I would define an age gap
relationship to be 7 years or greater, but the following points are not just
relative to a younger woman in number terms.
Simply put, even a woman who is only 4 years younger could in fact act
in a way where she appeared double this.

Pro1: Easy on the eye

Let’s start with the obvious attraction to a
man - she is basically good to look at.
Even girls of 18 look older, and she will be at her physical attraction
peak. As heterosexual humans, whether in
a relationship or not, we are naturally inclined to be drawn to those most
sexually attractive to us from the opposite sex. Men further reinforce this analysis, as they
are drawn to a greater need of a girlfriend’s physical look. Putting aside the sex for a moment, it is a
good feeling to know you are with an attractive woman, irrespective of her
other attributes. She makes a bad day
seem good, and a good day appears to be amazing.

Pro 2: Sexual Arousal

Even men out there who have the sexual
arousal threshold of a frog, and can become erect by just the basic nakedness
of any woman, will still have varying arousal levels depending on how
attractive he perceives her to be. In
truth, younger women are not as experienced or as knowledgeable in bed as their
older counterparts. Needless to say
really, such is experience being exactly that.
But in my time, experience isn’t the only factor. A young, attractive female is also prone to
be self-conscious when the lights go out, and you pretty much do the work
yourself. However, even if this is the
case, your arousal will be greater than when alongside the older woman with
skills. A man who denies this is the
case is either that jumping frog mentioned, or a complete liar.

Pro 3: Self Ego

Whilst men are not near to the same spectrum of requiring
attention and ego escalation as women, it’s not a bad internal feeling to have
a younger bit of stuff standing next to you.
I guess it’s the whole “trophy girl” label that convinces a man he still
has his own look too. For less
physically attractive men, it is a signal of his other attributes – his overall
sexual market value – being desirable.
His friends look across in admiration, envy or jealousy, and although
you shouldn’t care what they think, nobody can deny the old bit of
self-fulfillment doesn’t bring a cheeky grin to their face.

Pro 4: She’s a natural follower

To disregard age for a moment, women in general terms
prefer a man who can lead the relationship.
It illustrates positive male traits of confidence, leadership and
pro-activeness. Due to a younger woman’s
sometimes infatuation and admiration of an older, experienced man, she will
follow his every move to the point of being a puppet. It is the rare time a woman questions her own
belief, as she almost instantaneously thinks he must be right about it. This can draw negatives too, but after
inundated encounters with older women stating black is white, a period of this
kind is like a breath of fresh air.

Pro 5: Less committal

Of course, if you are a guy in a hurry to settle down
then this issue is a drawback, but the counter argument would be if you are
this guy, why are you with a younger woman?
Assuming you are the usual man who is a touch indecisive, indifferent
and nervous when the commitment word is mentioned, and you are one who has had
past relationships come to an end due to her desire to commit, then a younger
woman will usually give you this breathing space. Nevertheless, it is still beneficial for a
man to be aware of those early learners: those who may be attempting to trap a
man, as they are aware they are onto a good thing if they meet a high calibre
man.

Con 1: Immaturity

Drama, texting when you are around, wanting her own way,
acting spoilt, running away when you disagree with her, and calling her friends
and family bad names – are all part of the trials and tribulations of being
with a younger girlfriend. Does this
sound familiar? If not, then it will be
soon. Unfortunately, it comes with the
territory. With all this said, I have
dated a mature minded nineteen year old in comparison to an immature
twenty-eight year old. However, this is
the exception, and immaturity from a mental perspective is a usual hand in hand
consequence in being with a younger woman.

Con 2: Just not mentally
stimulating

You have been seeing her for a couple of months, the sex
is great, she looks incredible, and surprisingly you have enjoyed the time
together. Then one day you have an issue
in your life you would like to share with her, and for her to give you an
honest opinion. But she fires a blank. Over time, you realize her mind hasn’t
developed in these tender years to give a view of substance outside of her own
life or reality television programmes.
Only time will tell if she is someone who has the potential to one day
surprise you.

Con 3: Her friends

All this negative talk about a relationship with a
younger woman in the short-term is overrated, is it? At least this may be what a man is saying to himself
after a month or so. You think she is
mature beyond her years, she is trustworthy and generally a good person to talk
to. Then one night you join her and her
younger girl friends with their respective younger boyfriends for a night
out. Whilst the girls are talking about
their usual irrelevant and unimportant things going on, even the younger guys
are annoying you. It’s not their fault,
as they are only acting the exact way you were yourself ten years ago. But this comprehension of life’s natural
progression doesn’t make it any easier, and an hour spent with them seems like
a week. Even your girlfriend has brought
herself down to their maturity grade, and you wonder if you can go through
another night like this, irrespective of how she looks. I would quite comfortably say that this is
the biggest obstacle in standing in the way of it working with her.

Con 4: Different Interests

So you’ve had a tough day at work and you’re looking
forward to a night in front of the television with her up against you. Then a text arrives at five o’clock stating
she is all up for going out. The hard
truth is that the energy levels between the two of you are worlds apart. Furthermore, the things she gets excited
about are only what you did yourself in a previous life. They are things you certainly do not choose
to do all over again. There is only one
word that comes to mind here - compromise.
Unfortunately, compromise to a woman can be interpreted into going down
your path in a one in ten ratio.

Con 5: Differing objectives in
life

You like the girl, things are going well, and quite
frankly you cannot see yourself being with anyone else. You may not be exactly ready to put a ring on
her finger, but the thoughts of the next step haven’t escaped your mind either. Then one night she mentions her two friends
who are talking about going abroad for the summer to participate in giving out
flyers, or some other dead end job. She
is considering joining them. Life is
ironic, isn’t it? After spending years
hiding from commitment with other women, suddenly the boot is on the other
foot.

In summary, I would comfortably say the strength of the
good points outweigh the bad points. It
is a case of “suck it and see” outlook, and not placing too much emphasis on
the relationship or her. Outcome
dependence should be replaced by enjoying the moment. It’s important to give her space and let her
do her own thing. If a younger woman
senses supplication in an older man, she will summon this deficiency more
harshly than her previous boyfriend of a similar age. This older man and younger woman
compatibility is ideal for the typical alpha male, as he will view it more as a
short term fix with a “what will be will be” attitude. A beta male, even an older beta male, will
simply become attached and more jealous with her outside activities. The alpha male doesn’t suffer from this
jealousy because the whole thing is only one thing going on in his life. He puts himself first, and this is imperative
with this kind of woman. There’s no
doubt about it, she will be putting herself first too.

About Me

Tough and sensitive. Firm but kind. Happy to help, but not here to be used. Once naive, now astute. Versatile and ranged. Balanced yet peripheral. Stylish but not extravagant. Stands out at the same time as blending in.