Thursday, April 10, 2008

This Just In: Deep-Section Rims Provide Excellent Opportunity for Self-Expression!

This photo, courtesy of the inestimable photographer "Sucka Pants," is an inspiring example of how color choice is only the beginning when it comes to expressing yourself through your rims. Indeed, all it takes is a strong opinion, a little ingenuity, and a few vinyl stick-on letters to tell your many haters just what they can or can't do with your testicles. And extra points to this rider for spacing the letters fairly evenly and for orienting his compelling slogan opposite the valve stem.

Also, while I have your attention, I'd like to relay some other important news as well. If you're as big an Opinionated Cyclist fan as I am, you'll be pleased to know that official Opinionated Cyclist merchandise is now available. You can learn more about it in his latest video, aptly titled "Are you a fan of OC? Now you can show everyone."

Sprider, amen to that. A triple-double, and it is still only Thursday. Do you think that the recent increase in posting activity evidences that our hero got shitcanned from whatever mysterious gainful employment he had because his employer got fed up with how much time was being devoted to this blog?

Rip Torn looks like my brother's mother-in-law. Seriously. I originally thought it was mostly just from Beastmaster, but there's a strong resemblance to RTMS as well.Guess what he's got waiting for in his golden years!

Hmmm.... Let's see. BSNYC is opinionated. OC is opinionated. BSNYC/RTMS uses cafepress.com for the "Seal of Disapproval" paraphernalia. Opinionated Cyclist uses cafepress.com. Too much in common. Could it be that BSYNC IS the OC, just expanding beyond the written word blogosphere into YouTube VideoLand???

i'm sure i'm not only who was glad to receive his first issue of OUTSIDE magazine thanks to a $50 purchase i made on that secret website you suggested. In it there is a great article on Michael Ball's Rock Racing team of all things. Did you know that "team member mario cipollini once said that if he hadn't been a pro cyclist, he would have been a porn star." Fascinating.

Are you sure OC is not some failed claymation pilot? OC shares some features of Wallace, Grommett, and many of their predecessors in Creature Comforts. The rolling eyes, the cartoon voice, and the occasional scratches and tics. However, unlike the aforesaid Aardman creations, OC has terrible material. I watched for 37 seconds longer than I should have.

There is no way Anon 4:51 that OC could be RTMS. OC has the creativity and versatility of a soap dish. To watch him is to loathe him. And besides, RTMS has too many obscure references to the '80's. OC would be more apt to be writing about ICP or his PS2 or some such crap, and his cycling knowledge would be limited to the Lance error, I mean, era.

I clicked on the photo sight you provided ... I am either getting really old or too many children have been left way behind and abandoned. What were some of those, recreations of Lord of the Flies ? Some of them were completely disgusting. How can people live like that ?This is why people should stay in school.

I think that guy's nuts shoudl be subjected to a battery of Consumer Products Safety Commission tests, to ensure consumer safety. These will include the standard array of vehicular tests, such as flame retardancy, impact resistance and shatterproof testing, and, like mattress labels should also include twisting, spindling, removal, or other mutilation. Side impact collision testing may be necessary as well, if the test subject is still up for that.

You and I are always getting into a graphic design throw-down! I thought my Pabst/Mission Collabo could be our official ride!

Wait, I've got it--Erik K and I could start a cycling sportswear firm to help fund this new island nation. We'll call it Cyclist's Republic Sportswear. It'll be like cross between Primal and Rock & Republic

We are witnessing a kind of Golden Age of BSNYC/RTMS -- an unparalleled period of artistic and creative productivity similar to, say, the period between 1965 and 1969 when the Beatles released Rubber Soul, Sargeant Pepper, Abbey Road, etc.

So I guess next comes the descent into a seemigly unending foggy nightmare of drugs, bad marriages and financial ruin, with literally years spent hiding in bed, hoovering up cocaine and heroin and afraid even so much as to open your apartment door for the Chinese food delivery guy.

Don't worry though, eventually a controlling Svengali will come along -- perhaps your spunky and strong willed fourth wife, or maybe a controversial psychiatrist -- to pull you out of your drug-addled miasma, at the cost of sucking up your remaining money and making you a public laughing stock.

At some point your new minder will get you to grant legal rights to create a new BSNYC/RTMS blog, consisting of reposts of old material that you comment on inarticulately with your few remaining brain cells, and also maybe some "lost" posts from 2008 that will get "newly discovered" and published.

Finally, your own reality holo-vision show (that's what TV will be called in 2031), a kind of futuristic Regis and Kathie Lee, where you and a 58 year old Ashlee Simpson trade barbs about your "bottom bracket stiffness" and "crank length."

3:25 Finished my masterbatory visit getting my load off to a pink framed, aerospoked, atrocity with a lemon yellow TTP (looked like someone puked a box of Lucky Charms). It's like torture porn, you don't want to watch but you just have to know how it ends.

4:00 Fell asleep listening to OC beg his 10 viewers to get together, buy buttons, and send him one because his broke ass can't even afford to buy his own products.

4:25 Woke, screaming, from a dream with RTMs/BSNYC and OC having a "foot down" contest with Prolly on bamboo framed fixed gears.

5:00 Couldn't handle listen to OC drone on any longer, drove an ice pick into my ears then posted this.

Opinionated Cyclist's voice makes me want to take a cheese grater, one that I typically only use for cycling specific cheese, to my ears. His constant belching and speech pattern makes my salivary glands hurt, similar to my memories of the sensation of pain you experience after drinking a Natural Ice, Red Dog, or similar of brewery mop squeezin's. The fact that he pimps the viewer to purchase HIM a button, wow, that's just awesome!

OC reminds me of the late great TV evangelist Dr. Gene Scott. Same tamber, same delivery. I really want to order 10 buttons and send him one. I hope he will soon begin to reveal some wacky spiritual revelation. He needs to start smoking Cubans.

Holy mother of god!!.... those Cipollini wheels.They should use them for interrogation pruposes. Anyone locked in a room with those things for more than 10 minutes would be spilling the beans like nobodys business.

OC is now offering a 100 pack for the low-low price of only $200! What a bargain! At that price you can buy one for each of your friends, all of his "fans" and still be able to send him 88 of those stupid buttons since he can't afford one himself.

It almost makes me wish I won the lottery just to buy him 100 of them and wait for him to vlog about how he plans to dispose of those UGLY ass things.

Lame.

I'm going to CafePress to design my own "Pay for a hit on OC" buttons. I figure a stick through the spokes should take care of it... actually, I think that'll be the button design.

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About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!