To be fair, Applebee's is going out on a bit of limb to offer diners a premium open bar, a huge buffet, a house DJ, and party favors. It is also a short walk from Times Square, where the ball will drop at midnight.

But we're still going to give this one a huge stamp of disapproval, and declare once and for all: Excessive New Years' Eve celebrations have got to go. (If only because we're bitter that we're not able to afford them.)

Here are three excessive New Year's Eve celebrations that top even Applebee's.

The minimum ticket price to get in? A mere $500 plus $40 service change taxes — that is, if you're female and want to get in before 12 a.m. (Male admission for before 12 a.m. is $750 plus $60 service change taxes.) But if general admission is too shabby for you (it'll only get you a premium open bar, which we suppose is cool), there are other options:

Mezzanine Balcony VIP Table for 8 — nearly $11,000

Lounge VIP Table for 6 — same as above

Lounge VIP Table for 8 — nearly $13,000

Back Main Floor VIP Table for 8 — same as above

We could keep going but we'll leave you to look at the insane ticket prices for yourself. (It just gets more depressing to see the prices slowly rise from $15,000 to $20,000 and beyond.) The most expensive ticket price is $50,000, which includes premium open bar, 15 VIP admission tickets, two bottles of Magnum Grey Goose Vodkas, two bottles of Dom Perignon, water and Red Bull, and party favors.

Tere Moana is the luxury ship's name, and it set sail two days ago. The cruise is entirely clothing-optional. The cost? $3,795-$5,395 per person.

Here are some of the luxuries the rooms come with:

Ocean view

Temperature control

Bathrobes and slippers

TV and DVD player

Bathroom with large shower

Hair dryer

Personal safe

That better be one nice hairdryer. Tere Moana will follow a route around Caribbean Islands, from St. Martin to St. Barthelemy. The cruise will end on Jan. 4, 2014, which means you still have five more days to hate the incredibly wealthy people on this ship.

Watch the following video to indulge in more self-pity:

Bare Necessities Cruises on YouTube

Billy Joel, Ben Folds, and Britney Spears Get Pricey

Ben Folds is talented. We get it. Billy Joel is a star. We get it. Britney Spears is ... famous. We get it. What we don't get is shelling out hundreds of dollars to stand in a sweaty, inebriated crowd counting down to 2014. This year, those three artists comprise the most expensive New Years' Eve shows, with Billy Joel and Ben Folds performing together for $477 a ticket in Brooklyn's Barclays Center, and Britney Spears' show coming in at $270 a ticket in Las Vegas.

Yes, it's that expensive — and that's not including dinner, snacks, champagne, beer, or whatever other expenses concert-goers will incur.

We suggest you just watch the following videos on YouTube for the price of $0 and call it a night.