Archive for the Movies Category

Alright, every once in a while something draws me back into blogging. (I’ve been busy with my sports podcast) So, I just got home from Iron Man 3…I’ve been sitting here thinking about it for a few hours now, and while I enjoyed it – I had a lot of problems with it. Similar to how I felt after the Dark Knight Rises, its not bad…just little changes that could make it great.

If its not obvious…SPOILERS!

Don’t mind all these characters behind Tony…

10. Give us some “Easter Eggs” – The best thing about every movie leading up to Avengers, was the nods and winks letting you know it was coming. The things in the background and post-credits made every one of us superhero nerds cream our jeans. And, you could feel a bit smug when you know you caught something in the background that others didn’t. Those mere mortals – pity them. IM3 gives us nothing in the way of fore-shadowing. Every mention of any other Marvel character is in past-tense, “that guy with the hammer fell from the sky”, “since New York”, etc. Instead of this movie feeling like the beginning of “phase 2”, it felt like the last of phase 1, tacked onto the end of Avengers – especially the post-credits scene, while humorous, just gave a wrap-up feeling…I didn’t leave the theater needing my next Marvel-fix — this is an issue!

9. Where is everybody? – I get it, you’re not going to pay for everybody to come back and make a cameo. This is called Iron Man 3, not Avengers 1.5. I can buy that Thor wouldn’t have any mention at all – he’s got a good excuse in his commute alone. And, yeah – maybe calling up the big green rage monster needs to be saved for extreme cases, or therapy. But you’re telling me that Tony is presumed dead, his house is jacked up, a terrorist is threatening 3000 different kinds of heat on the American people, AND the fucking President is in danger! – and SHIELD is too busy hiding in the clouds?? Heck, even have Rhodes mention a one-off to Tony, like – “Hey, think you could call in Cap’ since we don’t even have armor on?” and then Tony could reply with something witty about them being busy, or he can handle it.

8. Where the fuck was Rhodes?? – Speaking of being absent for when shit-hits-the-fan. Nothing about how he was too busy for New York? It was only an alien invasion…was the paint still drying? Give us a line at the bar, “Hey, sorry I wasn’t there for you in New York, I’ve been keeping tabs on this new guy – calls himself the Mandarin…”

7. Iron Patriot – This is a minor thing, but seems like a plot hole. James is the accidental hero for a sweat shop, then gets taken down by random “hot” blonde #4, then meltyman #2 takes the suit, puts the POTUS in the suit to kidnap him (btw, this means the suit is being controlled remotely, or by hacked programing…explains why the president can’t control the flight pattern), but then when Rhodes helps the president down to get back his armor…it suddenly works perfect? Didn’t realize the Colonel was that computer savvy. How about instead, Tony calls up the original silver armor to hook back up and he can go back to being War Machine?

6. Worst Suit Ever? – Mark 42 has to be the worst thing Tony Stark has ever invented. It barely works, falls apart upon the slightest contact, “punches” Tony in the nuts, threatens Pepper (although yes it saves her too), and the POS can’t seem to stay charged! Just because you keep saying its a “prototype” does not mean that Tony Stark would ever invent something that unreliable.

Stay on!

5. The Mandarin We Deserved – The big “plot twist”. (btw, all you smug bitches that say you could see it coming and it was hella obvious are full of shit) We were led to believe that Mandarin was the major threat to end all threats. A dude so badass that his own people wouldn’t dare look him in the eye. In the comics, Mandarin was a great anti-iron man because it gave us a battle of magic vs technology. Instead we got a hilariously coked-out actor. This is nothing against Ben Kingsley, he did exactly what the script probably told him to. Look, we’ve done the “puppet-leader” thing before. Maybe make a BIGGER twist, in showing Kingsley later enjoying the fact that everyone “bought” his actor routine…and he’s got some serious shit cooking up in those 10 Rings. Which btw…why did they not do ANY tie-ins to the terrorist organization from Iron Man 1??

4. The End of a Chest Piece? – You mean to tell me that Tony could have gotten surgery the whole time to remove the metal shrapnel in his chest?? Good thing that shit wasn’t killing him in IM2! (back off nerds, I get that it was actually the arc-reactor poisoning him) But still, now what does this mean for Tony in the future? His own personal never ending energy source is removed from his body? What if the Loki-poki stick tries to brainwash him in the future? Also, what’s going to fill up that giant hole in his chest now?

3. Pepper is all Better – C’mon, you didn’t kill Happy when it could have served as a great emotional motivator and shown real loss. Then you fake out Pepper’s death in fire. Next, one line of dialog cures Pepper from being super hot? How much did it fix her? Does she still have near-invincibility? That shit could be useful the next time somebody blows up the living room with choppers.

_insert Hot Mess joke here_

2. Pepper can Fight? – Woah, when did she start taking krav maga classes? Now I will say that it was actually kinda cool that she went all badass at the end and beat some ass for once (this universe needs all the tough female scenes it can get) Give me some context though, the molten virus does some pretty cool things, but I didn’t think it taught fighting techniques all Matrix-style. I would want this final scene to stay in though, so how about in the beginning when Tony has a quick 1-2 with some training equipment walking in the basement, there is something to play off that stuff being Pepper’s, maybe even have Tony make fun of her for trying to learn self-defense – then she can be all snarky at the end when saving his butt.

1. Motive! – What the hell Guy Pierce? You’re all pissy because Tony stood you up to bang a hot brunette nerd? What’s that- ? oh, Pepper also used to turn you down all the time too… ok. Sooooooo…why are you blowing up people? Heck, you got your confidence and a little swagger (in the form of hot-healing) out of the deal. You wanted to bring Tony on-board to help perfect your molten virus (I refuse to call it extremis) then what was your plan after that? Take over the government? World domination? We don’t know! Here, I’ll help…because this seemed to be the VP’s motive for getting involved with Killian, helping his daughter(?) grow a new leg. Ok, lets start there…we’ve also got all these test soldiers, they all seem to be missing limbs from battle… Now how about your own handicap? Killian seemed to need a cane and walk awkwardly when we first see him Woodstock style in 1999. How about the motive being that you want to be fully healed, you want your soldiers to be fully healed, and you want to stop the government responsible for all these casualties of war…it would play off current events with soldiers that come back from the Middle East who can’t carry out their normal lives because of lost limbs and PTSD. Here’s an acting lesson for you out there, if you’re going to portray a bad guy, you don’t do things because they are “bad” and you just want to start some shit for the fun of it (only Joker gets to do that) You make decisions as a bad guy because in your own head these are absolutely the right decisions to make. So maybe Aldrich Killian really wants to protect soldiers from having to ever lose their limbs, protect kids from ever being physically handicapped, and then after all that…then he can ask People Magazine’s hottest woman out to dinner.

First off, I really did like TDKR. I walked away happy and had tears of excitement for much of the movie. That being said, a couple days later…I realize there is not a feeling of satisfaction. This is not so say that I have “Star Wars Syndrome” (meaning I already created a perfect storyline in my head that nothing could live up to) I just think that these little changes could have really improved the movie (NEVER thought I’d say that about a Nolan film)

Oh…and SPOILERS! SPOILERS!! SPOILERS!!!

10. Don’t say Batman Quit. – I get the reason for the cape to get hung up is to illustrate how impactful Harvey Dent’s death and The Dark Knight’s conclusion was. The white knight and the law has succeeded! But, this goes against everything that we know about Bruce Wayne…he can’t quit. Not for 8 years. Instead, I say he goes back to being the shadow that he was at the start of Batman Begins. That way us the fans can believe that he took on that gallery of baddies we all know and love. This way we can buy that his body is seriously damaged. The way it stands, I’m supposed to buy that people don’t get suspicious that Batman and Bruce disappear/reappear after 8 years? He’s so banged up from taking out Joker and Scarecrow? That was the point of making Bane the bad guy…Batman had never been physically challenged to this point.

9. The Mayor wants Gordon out – That’s such a BS line – “he’s a war hero, this is peace time”. I would have preferred that after TDK, Commissioner Gordon relays the message that Batman isn’t such a lawful guy, and Harvey Dent’s memory should be honored – But then has a change of heart and spends the next 8 years being the only guy in the city that still defends Batman. This would work well with my change above, with Gordon trying to keep the cops off of Batman when he hears rumors of something from the shadows taking out a street thug or when a criminal gets dropped at their doorstep. The change would be that the Mayor (and maybe the city) wants his early retirement for a believed cover-up and conspiracy with the Batman.

8. My real name is Robin. – There was a lot of the internet that had already guessed Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s true role in this movie. (I was on the side that imagined JGL is the only person in Hollywood that could be able to faithfully, and respectfully recreate a Heath Ledger Joker ((heavily relied upon by on the shadows of Arkham)). Anyway, the scene of John Blake revealing his name to get the bag was a fun play on the character, but I think it was dumbed down to make it easily accessible to the viewers that don’t know any of the names that have worn the mask of Robin. Just the tiny change of “Oh, check under my birth name…” Richard Grayson, Tim Drake, or even Jason! That would have left a smile on my face.

7. Five months is not long enough – In a movie that was 2 hr 45 mins, it should have been longer. Ha. But, really 5 months was an arbitrary number chosen as the length of time to pass for the events to occur. It’s the time it takes for the bomb to destabilize, but its a made up bomb that’s not based on real world science or math. I’d buy the 5 months, if it wasn’t for the broken back. I’ve had a broken pelvis and couldn’t even run for almost 7 months. A broken back is worse. I’d seen a comment from someone with more medical knowledge than myself say that a broken back could heal in six months to a year. And, I like that time length a bit better for the storyline too. Time for him to be in pain, heal, and hell…get back to Gotham. Broken Bat aside, 5 months is a long time to terrorize a city, and social structures definitely would have started to break down…but I would have really liked to see a city that has been closed off for a year. The desperation and survival instincts of the victims would have been profound. More carnage in the streets should have been shown anyway…those supply make it unscathed to the middle of town. Seeing Dr. Crane taking over the court system was great though.

6. Gordon’s Family – Just a little one here, not a big deal or anything. Commissioner Gordon’s family leaves him and goes to Cleveland (I may be wrong on that, but it was definitely a real world American city). The cool thing that separates DC and Marvel universes is the geography. Marvel characters live in real places like New York, LA, New Orleans, etc. DC characters live in made up locations like Gotham City, Metropolis, Smallville.

5. Explain the prison more – “The Pit” is a great idea in theory. It plays on Bane’s use of hope as a weapon. I get that its supposed to suck to be sentenced there. Where are the prison guards? How do they get food, electricity, medical supplies? Either give me more structure down in the pit where there are officials that allow for one person to make the climb on a set schedule, or give me structure above ground where there is a fail safe of officials guarding the hole to make sure that no escapees send down a bunch of anchored ropes to free everyone.

4. Put in a nod to the Joker – I know, I know, Heath died. Respect. Just a little something would have been nice.

3. Let the bomb do some damage – This is just playing on clichés. It seems like any movie with a countdown to destruction either goes full out destruction (Knowing) or all is saved (Armageddon). I would have liked the “Deep Impact” ending – the main part of the city is saved enough for a happy ending, but it doesn’t quite get out of range – so maybe we see a tidal wave take out the shore line? I don’t know enough about the science of a nuclear explosion…but more should happen than a puff of smoke and water splash.

2. Bane Deserved Better – The most physically imposing villain I’ve seen in a long time, goes out with a bang…just not a good one. An injection of perfect timing on behalf of the writing. Selina shows up at just the right moment, blink-and-you-miss-it, Bane is out of the movie. Oh, he got shot by the bike’s gun…ok? There’s the brutal first fight between Batman and Bane that is near perfect and satisfying. Then Batman rebuilds himself and takes on Bane – broken back and all. I don’t buy that he can go toe-to-toe with him again. I would have preferred a more cerebral way to fight round 2. Batman has gadgets, use them! Batman has no different strategy in the 2nd fight than the first. After the knife wound, a near death and desperate Bruce pulls off one more escape, or sets a trap – better than having convenience and a witty line save the day.

1. Kill Bruce Wayne – this one’s a biggie. This IS the one thing I’d been preparing myself to see for the last 4 years. I belive Christopher Nolan is the ONLY person that could have done a storyline that would have pulled it off. He nearly did anyway. The set up was perfect for it, the knife wound to the kidneys, maybe #2’s final fight could have been more brutal, and even the way it was illusioned with him going out with the mini-nuke. Just take out that scene of Fox discovering a fixed auto-pilot. Then that would leave the final scene with Alfred at the cafe up for debate. They took out the discussion, I believe, because the studio didn’t want children to walk away realizing Batman is dead. But following the ratings, no one under 13 should be watching these…and any one over 13 could appreciate the conversation: Is that Alfred seeing his greatest dream come true, or could Bruce have possibly survived it? That’s a Christopher Nolan ending.

*These are not the words of an aspiring film-maker, and I’m not an uppety fan-boy. This is just my opinion on what could have left ME satisfied upon leaving the theater. That being said, the actors are amazing in their roles, the music is breath-taking, the locations and shots of them are beautiful, the over-all story is excellent. I couldn’t do better. Just being a critic. Thanks for reading!

I’ve started a new podcast…check it out! The Brainfog Podcast is hosted by me and a friend from my radio station. This weekly podcast will deal with fun stuff going on in our lives, living in Los Angeles, movie reviews, today’s music, and every once in a while…I’ll bring in an entertaining guest.
I’ll post an update when it finaly goes live to iTunes…but for now, listen/download through the website – and please leave comments!

For every uplifting movie that inspires you to get out of the house, start working out, figure out decoding, eat better, and do math problems that equal 23…there’s those movies that un-inspire. The ones that drain you, or just make your laziness kick into high gear – I wouldn’t suggest watching these if you need to get shit done.

10. 300 – This isn’t about the idea of battle against an enemy, overcoming odds, or defending your home. This is about getting those abs. You watch it the first time and think, “Damn, I need to workout more.” Then you realize your stomach will never look like that. Even worse when you find out that theirs didn’t either…

9. Pirates of the Caribbean – This goes for pretty much any franchise (Star Wars would fit here too) that cable stations love to play back-to-back-to-back. You sit down, flip on the tv for just something in the background while you work on curing cancer…and 6 and a half hours later, you’re making popcorn during the commercial break of the 3rd installment. Just ask Michael Bolton, its hard to think of anything else.

8. Meet Joe Black – Not that there’s anything wrong with this movie…its just so damn long! Try watching this, or something like Avatar, and your afternoon is gone.

7. Pineapple Express – Insert basically any “stoner comedy” here. There’s things about weed that can help you write, play music, and be creative. But, there’s also that side of weed that makes you sit on the couch doing absolutely nothing productive.

6. Big – Forget that Wilma Flintstone has sex with a minor, technically. How many of us watched this as a kid and wanted the job where you play with toys all day? The job you’re doing doesn’t look so fun to do right now does it?

5. The Road – For as happy and fun as the last two categories were…this one is all about depression. Children of Men would have the same effect. You see a world that is so damn bleak – then sit back and look at what you need to do like what’s the point?

4. The Big Lebowski – This one is really centered on the character “the Dude”. Just wanting to be that cool as shit guy that sits around in his robe, and the most you get done in the day is a good afternoon at the bowling alley.

3. The Matrix – This fits under multiple categories. It has the sequels that FX and TBS will keep playing all weekend on repeat. But, then it also gets in your head. If you’re looking for any excuse not to do that TPS report…you’ll start believing this isn’t the ‘real world’. Where is my red pill?

2. Office Space – If you’ve ever worked (or are working) a dead-end job, watch this movie. It so perfectly illustrates the problems with working in a corporate world. All the characters who actually do their work and really try at their jobs get screwed over, the guy that decides to play Tetris gets a promotion. And, the guy that commits arson gets a vacation. Fuckin’ A.

1. Fight Club – All those problems with #2…this is the movie that attacks them. All I have to do is quote this movie and the things around you will look a lot less important…

“This is your life and it’s ending one minute at a time.”
“Listen to me! You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you, never wanted you, and in all probability, he HATES you. It’s not the worst thing that can happen.”
“We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact.”

For those that don’t know, I have worked in radio for about 8 years now. I like to think that I keep up with the latest music. I love anything with a distortion guitar. I used to be pretty closed-minded to where that’s all I would listen to, but opened up to appreciate rap, pop, techno, acoustic, and such (except country, my grandma listens to country, fuck country) ((Garth Brooks and Johnny Cash are ok))

Anyway…back to my point. I’m trying to keep up with the latest music and what’s coming out, and I notice more and more that I’m adding less and less new rock music to my library. With rap, I’m good, I’ve got tons of new stuff, Bad Meets Evil, Tyler the Creator, Kreayshawn, Nicki Minaj, etc… The radio station I work for keeps me updated with plenty of pop and top 40 with stuff like Katy Perry and One Republic. But, there’s no good rock music. I mean REAL rock music.

I scanned the Billboard charts. There’s a bunch of stuff from bands I grew up with. Foo Fighters (a band from the 90′s!) has 2 of the top 10 songs. Seether, Rise Against, Avenged Sevenfold, Incubus – all good bands, but none of them are new. Where are the rock bands of this decade? We’re a year and a half into the 10′s and there are 2 bands on this chart that fit the bill of rock band – Adelitas Way and Art of Dying. Cage the Elephant has a few good rock songs also, but they came up at the end of the 00′s.

Now if you go look at the charts yourself, you may question me and say there are another 5-6 bands of this decade. Those aren’t rock bands. Sorry, this isn’t to say they aren’t good, just not a rock band. The Naked and Famous, Mumford and Sons, Foster the People – besides having 3-worded names – those are all just chill bands. They don’t pump your adrenaline, no one is using these for their entrance music to a fight, and I’m not going to press down harder on the gas pedal.

So while I try not to be as resentful as Henry Rollins, I still just want something badass to listen to once in a while.

Seriously, how awesome was the year 1999? Its just been something that I keep thinking about lately when I look around at how our world is now, and what is happening in pop culture. Starting out with the amazing movies that came out; Fight Club, American Beauty, the Green Mile, Eyes Wide Shut, Office Space, Boondock Saints. The Matrix blew everyone’s minds away, where now it only gets remembered for its sequels, M. Night was the next big thing with the 6th Sense. Although, George Lucas was about to prove that he was full of shit and ruin most everyone’s childhoods in April of that year.

For those that hadn’t started driving to the theaters yet, we still had awesome TV shows with debuts from the Sopranos, Family Guy, and the West Wing. We still got to watch Michael J. Fox for one more year on Spin City. We did have to say goodbye to shows like NewsRadio, Home Improvement, and Doug.

Even the music industry brought the awesome that year. We were finally able to use the artist-formally-known-as-Prince song to its exact specifications. Napster launched, which completely changed the way we get our music. Britney Spears was hot as hell and still possibly a virgin. White people were allowed to listen to rap music when Eminem got unleashed on the world. We didn’t care when Dr. Dre’s “Detox” would finally drop, because we had “2001” to listen to. John Frusciante rejoined the Chilli Peppers to release Californication (arguably the best RHCP album). Travis Barker had joined Blink 182. Slipknot released their debut album. *its cool because I lived in Iowa*

Phillip J. Fry was still delivering pizzas while the Clinton administration had the country at tip top economic status despite impeachment and blowjobs. The US dollar was still pretty badass compared to this new “Euro” scam. Sarah Palin was only relevant to Alaskans. Dubya was hanging out in Texas.

Jesse Ventura was an actor-in-Predator-turned-governor that DIDN’T fuck the help. And, if you were into pro-wrestling…it was a hell of a year for that too. We didn’t call the Rock – Dwayne Johnson. WCW still existed. Stone Cold Steve Austin was the baddest man on the planet. Owen Hart, Chris Benoit, Big Boss Man, Test, Kanyon, Eddie Guerrero, and Randy Savage were all still in the ring.

I’m a Denver Broncos fan, so I had the awesome experience of seeing John Elway finish his career with a 2nd Superbowl win. The city of Cleveland got its NFL team back – they are still waiting to celebrate. Not much has changed in the NBA…they had a lockout then too. It would be the last time we’d see Gretzky on ice. Baseball was slightly more exciting because of the home run race between Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa. I’m sure something happened in tennis, soccer and golf that year, I mean, I know Tiger was still good and all.

Best of all…we didn’t have to deal with “emo”, skinny jeans, crocs, and auto-tune.

Holy Crap…is he eligible to collect unemployment? No way does anybody credible put him in a movie anytime soon. Listen until at least the 2:00 min mark to hear possibly the classiest line ever “Shut the F*ck up, you should just F*cking smile, and BLOW me!”