Guy Advice to Donald Trump About Why Mitt Romney Won’t Just Commit!

Not a day goes by when we are not thankful that Herman Cain handed off the distraction-baton to Donald Trump. (Unrelated: did you know there are zero Thesaurus.com results for “pizza”?) Today is certainly no exception, as Donald Trump has already hit the morning cable-news circuit to defend the low attendance at his imitation presidential debate. “I’m surprised Mitt Romney said no, he said he's very busy, he’s so busy,” Trump told MSNBC. “Frankly I’m surprised, because he really wants my endorsement, he wants it badly.”

“He asks you out: As obvious as this is, some girls forget this. They resort to asking boys out because they think someone may be too shy or boys just aren’t good with planning. The boy who likes you will set aside his dating phobias and come out of his shell, and ask you out. If he’s not into you, he’ll likely avoid the prospect of a date. Duh.”