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Reinventing the Habit Loop

Do you ever get completely annoyed or frustrated because you can’t get your kids to turn a light off when they leave a room or put their homework away after they finish studying or pick up the remnants of their food-fest after making a snack? These are all examples of habits. And guess what – you can change them by reinventing the habit loop (I’ll explain the habit loop in a moment).

Habits can be developed either outside our consciousness or by deliberate design. Some are extremely useful, such as the habits of brushing your teeth or putting on your shoes without having to think about what you’re doing. Others are not so useful, such as biting your fingernails or picking open scabs (yuck! right?).

Habits often occur without our permission, but the good news is that a bad one can be changed by fiddling with its parts. According to Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit, at the core of every habitual pattern is a habit loop.

The habit loop can be broken down into three basic steps.

Step One

First, there is a cue, which is a trigger that tells your brain to go into automatic mode. The cue can be internal (a feeling or a thought) or external (such as a time of day, the company of certain people or the sight of the Golden Arches).

Step Two

The second part of the habit loop is the routine, which is the behavior that leads to a reward. The routine can be physical (pulling into the drive thru), cognitive (remembering information for a test), or emotional (feeling anxious about speaking in public).

Step Three

The third part is the reward. Not surprisingly, the reward can also be physical (the taste of your favorite burger), cognitive (interesting information), or emotional (feeling relaxed when reading a good book). The reward is what determines if a particular habit loop is worth remembering.

Cue – Routine – Reward

The Birth of a Habit

Duhigg explains it like this: the basal ganglia, a small region of the brain situated at the base of the forebrain, play an important role in stored habits. Interestingly, scientists have discovered that mental activity in this part of the brain actually decreases as a behavior becomes more habitual. When a habit emerges, the brain becomes more efficient (and needs fewer resources) because automatic patterns take over.

Eventually, a habit is born. When a habit emerges, the brain stops fully participating in decision making. It stops working so hard or diverts focus to other tasks.

So without deliberately fighting a habit (which means finding new routines), the pattern will unfold automatically. But, if we take control of the habit loop, we can override the unwanted behavior. And once you create a new pattern (by creating new neurological routines), you can force the bad tendencies into the background and create a new habit.

Understanding the habit loop makes habits easier to control. By changing the cue or the reward in a habit loop, you can change the pattern of behavior. Thus, reinventing the habit loop.

Again, habits emerge because the brain is constantly looking for ways to save effort. The pattern starts with a cue (this is the trigger that tells your brain to go into automatic mode and which habit to use), is then followed by an almost automatic action or routine (physical, mental or emotional), and is reinforced by a reward (helps your brain figure out if this particular loop is worth remembering for the future) and the cycle is ready to begin again.

Over time, this loop becomes more and more automatic. The cue and reward become intertwined until a powerful sense of anticipation and then craving emerges.

Cue – Routine – Reward

The Important Role of Cravings

By learning to observe the cues and rewards, we can change the routines. But first, we have to understand the role of cravings. The craving powers the habit loop.

As we associate cues with certain rewards, a subconscious craving emerges in our brain that starts the habit loop spinning. If we can find a new way of satisfying the craving, we can change a habit.

For example, let’s say you have developed a habit of craving something sweet after dinner. The last of the dishes are put away, the tables are wiped down and a clean kitchen has become a cue that inspires a craving for something sweet. In the past, you have plopped on the couch with a bowl of ice cream, but it has taken a toll on your waistline, and you want to change the habit. The cue isn’t going to change. A clean kitchen will still prompt a craving for something sweet. And the reward has to satisfy your sweet tooth or you are not likely to be successful. So what else could satisfy your craving for something sweet? Maybe instead of ice cream you could pop a frozen banana in the food processor with a ¼ cup of almond milk and a teaspoon of cocoa powder. This is an example of changing the routine to get the reward and satisfy the craving.

What if you want to develop a new habit that you don’t already have. Let’s say you want to exercise regularly? The habit loop can help, especially when you understand the role of developing a craving. Your brain must start craving a reward in order for the habit to take root — like your body craving the endorphins it gets from jogging.

Using Habits With Our Kids

Make a plan for a new habit you would like to develop for yourself. Identify what you can use as a cue (maybe leaving exercise clothes out the night before), the steps involved in creating a routine and the reward this new habit will deliver. Once you figure it out for yourself, sit with your kids and talk about how you can create a new habit loop for some of the habits they would like to change.

Let’s say you want your kids to develop the habit of unpacking their backpacks when they get home. First you need a cue. Perhaps you could post a reminder by the front door so they see it as soon as they walk in. Then you need a reward. Maybe they can have a snack after their bag is unpacked. The routine is to clean out their backpack

put their books on their desk in preparation for homework

put any important notices or forms in your inbox

throw out any garbage

drop their gym clothes in the laundry room

clean out their lunch bag

hang up the backpack so they repack it at the end of the day

Once they have completed the routine, you can tell them that they get to enjoy a delicious snack in peace and with a clear conscience because they have completed this important routine. Over time, if they are consistent, the front door will become the cue (you won’t need the reminder), and a craving will develop for that sense of peace and clear conscious as they relax with a well deserved snack. The craving for that state of mind and the snack are vital to the success of the habit.

Have any new habits you want your kids to develop or old ones you want them to break? Tell us about it in the comments below or on Facebook.

Jody Hagaman and her husband Tony have three kids, ages 18 to 30 and one precious baby grandchild. Jody’s story of how her son asked to be homeschooled has inspired
tens of thousands of families around the nation. A true homeschooling success story, that son is now an attorney in New Hampshire and is the New England Regional Director of The Concord Coalition, a bipartisan
organization dedicated to advocating responsible fiscal policy.

As a community leader, Jody has served on the board of directors of many local non-profit organizations. Her work experience as a corrections officer on a crisis intervention team inspired her to make a difference in the lives of the next generation.

She and Jenni co-host a weekly radio show, write a syndicated weekly column and freelance articles and speak at churches, political groups and homeschool conventions about living on purpose with excellence and raising kids with the end result in mind.

Jody Hagaman and her husband Tony have three kids, ages 18 to 30 and one precious baby grandchild. Jody’s story of how her son asked to be homeschooled has inspired
tens of thousands of families around the nation. A true homeschooling success story, that son is now an attorney in New Hampshire and is the New England Regional Director of The Concord Coalition, a bipartisan
organization dedicated to advocating responsible fiscal policy.

As a community leader, Jody has served on the board of directors of many local non-profit organizations. Her work experience as a corrections officer on a crisis intervention team inspired her to make a difference in the lives of the next generation.

She and Jenni co-host a weekly radio show, write a syndicated weekly column and freelance articles and speak at churches, political groups and homeschool conventions about living on purpose with excellence and raising kids with the end result in mind.

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