Now and then in my now-long life, I am keenly reminded that I’m … from the Bronx. I mean, who in the Bronx ever heard of “The Euphorbia?” It sounds like a Greek play. These days, they might ship these evil little growths from the southwest, just to pique curiosity, and maybe you’re ‘way ahead of me already. But, I doubt it.

Walking young Fen around the ‘hood, musing and mulling over how to fashion this column around, heaven help us, Donald Trump, I stooped to pick one of my favorite cacti: simple, strong, three-pronged, deep orange, fabulous décor, long-lasting, ahh, yes. Normal walking-the-dog-while-mulling behavior.

I haven’t been able to fashion any sensible reason for what I did next: idly touching – for no more than a second – the tiny end of the broken stem to my tongue. Test the taste? See if it dripped? Who knows!

Obviously, I lived to tell it, but it took a night and a day. And it took that, too, to connect the experience to “The Euphorbia” – – or, familiarly, the “Pencil Plant,” by then, serenely, innocently occupying a choice vase atop the shelf, never once letting us in on its evil character, and surely, no apology.

Here’s a bit of the Google search, and its warning: Beware of the Pencil Cactus – forums.gardenweb.com › Garden Forums › Cacti & Succulents. Anyone who has or may want to buy a so called pencil cactus ( really a Euphorbia). … This plant is toxic and you can go blind if, for instance, you get the sap in your eyes…etc.

Doesn’t say anything about one’s tongue, but still: see if I ever taste a stem, again.

I guess the Pencil Plant’s “toxicity” and bright orange hue do remind me of The Donald, but that’s a subject for another column.

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