How to Travel Like Kim Jong Il

Travel Blog • Michael Yessis • 05.05.10 | 3:21 PM ET

First, no jets. Use a train. Or three. You need the decoys. It’s not paranoia. People really would like to see you dead. Maybe travel at night, too, to avoid surveillance. Oh, and you’ll need food and drink. Send for a few cases of Bordeaux from Paris. It’ll go well with the live lobster you’ve shipped in.