KO’d

I’ve got my method for cooking rice on a stovetop mastered. It always comes out perfectly cooked — never burnt, never hard, never soggy. I should have realized earlier that adding a whole pound and a half of chorizo to not just this, but to anything, would mean total obliteration by pig fat. My poor rice turned to mush under the power of all that bone-sticking grease. By the time I was on day three of leftovers with this, I might as well have been eating a shrimp and sausage mochi cake. In hindsight, it was a good decision to counter this behemoth with the cutting acidity of vinegary pickles and plantains that were baked and not fried. Had I gone with my original idea of refried beans on the side, I think I might have crumbled under the weight of it all.

WHAT’S AFTER DINNER BLOG

Like any good nitwit with an advanced degree in the humanities, I'm really into Marx's theory of alienation. This blog is my attempt to reconcile my knack for making food-themed listicles with my own Gattungswesen—now with illustrations!