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Sunday, May 13, 2012

Celebrating Two

Yesterday we celebrated Shira turning two. There were party dresses, cake, presents, balloons, and a few family and friends. It was a small gathering perfect to mark this very special day. Shira beamed.

We don't have a baby anymore, Matt told me last night after the girls were tucked in bed. I ignored him for a minute. I was unwilling to concede that detail. But he's right. We don't have a baby anymore. We have two children, four and two. Do you know how I can tell that Shira is no longer a baby? Because I watch her take comfort in people who aren't my boobs me. For the first two years she was all mine, breastfeeding or not. She turned to me for almost everything.

I think I'm witnessing the very beginnings of a transition in her, a
move away from me and Matt and toward her sister. No, this isn't where I
start sobbing that my baby is leaving me, because she will never leave
me as such. She came from me, she is me. But the relationship that is
growing between her and Alyce is something apart from me. I don't understand it because I have never experienced it, but I have my suspicions. There is so much emotion between the two of, so much intensity. They argue (oh how they argue), they manipulate, they scheme, they giggle so hard they lose their breath. At four and two (see, there it is again) they already have a special language, and I'm not included. Is this how it all begins?

Shira was the star of her birthday, and Alyce, devastated as she was that it wasn't her birthday, was excited to celebrate with her. Even when it was clear that Alyce's skin was crawling with birthday envy, she took joy in Shira's day. And maybe even one day, one day far into the future, Shira will let Alyce play with her new dollhouse.

Maybe.

P.S. If you are interested in Shira's birth story you can find it here.