Dating Profile Deal-Breakers.

Complaining or saying negative things about your ex. Everyone understands that ending relationships can be difficult, but this is a place to get a fresh start! Mentioning problems with your ex right on your dating profile tells women that you might still have feelings for her, or that you’re already bringing a lot of baggage to the table. You may feel heartbroken that your ex cheated, but the message you’re sending is “I’m insecure.”

Saying negative things about women in general. Writing something like “all women are crazy, and I’m looking for one who isn’t” sends the wrong message. Women tend to read this as anything from “he makes poor decisions in relationships” to “his behavior drove his exes to be crazy.” While that might not be true, it may be what they’re reading.

Don’t tell women what to do. This is a list of deal-breakers, and obviously everyone has different expectations for the person they’re in a relationship with. But your dating profile is not the place to announce them. It’s instantly off-putting, so if there’s something you absolutely can’t handle, don’t match with them (or, if you already have, just let them down gently). Your profile should be about you, not about the soulmate you’ve dreamed of.

Writing something disparaging about online dating. Writing “I don’t know why I’m even on here” or “my friends put me up to this” sends the message that you aren’t really looking to date, or that you’re not going to take online dating seriously. While it’s fine to feel that way (even in the face of all of the success stories), it doesn’t make women very inclined to reach out. If you really need to express this, wait until the first date to say something like, “wow, you know I didn’t really know what would come of this, but I’m really glad I met you.”

On that note, don’t say you’re willing to lie about how you met. First of all, online dating is the norm these days, and nobody would bat an eye at learning you fell in love through an app. Second, it makes it seem like you’re too concerned with what other people think. Third, who wants to date a man who’s telling you he’s eager to lie? Talk about a red flag!

Using your About Me section to express your struggles with describing yourself. “How do you sum up your entire personality in one little box?” Well, everyone else has at least tried. Don’t waste valuable space with this, just dive right into the things that make you who you are!

“If I read your profile and like what I see, I may reply to your message.” While having confidence is definitely great, there’s a line between confidence and cockiness. Playing hard to get can sometimes work, but maybe wait until she’s actually tried to get you first — otherwise she might not even try.

Having a profile picture where the camera is angled up at your face. Nobody looks good from that angle. According to women on dating sites, it gives the impression that you’re afraid to be seen taking a photo of yourself, so you did it while pretending to text. Don’t send a message of timidity before they’ve even spoken to you — put your best face forward.

Leaving your profile blank. The only thing worse than saying something offensive is saying nothing at all! Remember to be yourself, even if that means you might be turning off a few potential matches. It’s worth it in the end to not be afraid to be yourself — you’ll have a better chance of finding someone who likes the real you.