Oprah is the most important person in the world, singlehandedly driving American book-buying and butt cream choices. Ad Age has a monsterarticle today about "How to Get Your Brand on 'Oprah,'" which is the most important task facing American marketers everywhere at any given time. And after thousands of words, the magazine nails the secret to landing your widget in this "pinnacle of product publicity": get Oprah to like you, or something!

Some brands, like Dove, spend millions in advertising with Oprah, and then get a lot of mentions on her shows; other brands spend just as much, and don't get mentioned. Other brands are forced to give hundreds of thousands of dollars (or more) worth of free merchandise for Oprah to give away to her audience. But to save you all quite a bit of time, here's the fundamental trick:

So how do you get your brand on "Oprah"? It helps a whole lot if Oprah likes your brand or its ads. It helps more still if Oprah's producers like you. And it possibly helps even more if Oprah likes you or the person endorsing your brand.

Change "Oprah" to "voters," and this is also how you get elected president!