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05/21/2018

Pope: God Wants You Rump Riding

VATICAN CITY, Rome (World News Bureau) - A man who privately met with Pope Francis claims the pontiff told him God made him gay, and that it's "fine to be a rope-smoking rump-rider." Francis reportedly made the statement while braiding the unnamed man's hair.

Molested as a child by notorious pedophile priest Fernando Karadima, the man said, "Here, I thought it was the Catholic priest who made me gay, I guess it was God after all. I don't mind telling you I'm a little freaked out."

This is not the first time Pope Francis has expressed support for homosexuality.