Thursday, April 30, 2015

Spying has always been fascinating to boys.From holes in fences to watch baseball,stories of The Hardy Boys pressing their eyes up to keyholesto James Bond using his 007 skills to save the world.

Joining that illustrious group, I made the cardboard pericopefrom my 1967 Childcraft book and happilyspent the day hidden behind theliving room couch scoping out whatever my family was up to.It turns out they weren't involved in any criminal activity.

That inclination could become a little awkward as those youngsters became shy gentlemen who didn't purchase the helpful"How to Pick Up Women" book.For those bashful men lacking in social skills the ads in the comics and magazines of the 50s/60s and 70s gave "up pericope" a new meaning(fyi- I'm available to spice up your speeches with similar comedy zingers).It was a dream opportunity to secretly see the only thing on their minds,the fairer sex, buck naked.

So ladies, before slowly changing into your Fredrick's of Hollywood lingerie, look for holes in the walls, 2-way mirrors and eager faces pressed against the window, because, as you know, men are out of their minds.

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Only the most notorious women's restrooms in Berwyndisplay M.O'C tattoo flash!

Full disclosure- I love the Cigar and Stripes Bar in Berwyn!http://www.cigarsandstripes.com/It's rumored to be haunted, the decor is eccentricand sideshow/house of horrors crazy fun,every night has some sort of entertainment, music/movies/dj/etc,the food and drinks are delicious and Ronnie Lottz, the owner,has always been top notch to me.Even more importantly, there are at least6 sheets of my tattoo flash hangingin the now famous woman's bathroom

Why is it famous?Because over 3 million folks have viewed theYouTube video of comedian Tamale Rocks(who I've enjoyed many times hosting Chicagoland burlesque shows)"discovering" a two way mirror on an unlocked door between the woman'sbathroom and a storage closet.My first reaction was the same as any right minded American,"Lock that pervert owner up NOW!I've brought dates there!! I'll kill that SOB myself!!!"But I was hoping that Ronnie could come up with an explanation,though I had no idea on God's Green Earth what it could be. But he has.It was made for laffs.There's often a dummy monster behind the 2 way mirror,and when the unsuspecting full bladdered patron switched onone of the lights in the bathroom,it would instead light up in the closet making the monster 'appear'through the jagged cut out opening in the door behind the mirror,scaring the crap (thank you) out of whoever was in the bathroom.In fact, he says, it was no secret to all the regular patrons,who would wait at the bar for the screams. I looked for a few old posted examples to add weight to the story,which is difficult, because at the moment 99.9% of theinternet articles are about the newest "shock",but I'm told the funhouse mirror has been common knowledge on Yelp for years andthis blogger from 2013 hints at the surprise by sayingthat they're not going to giveaway what happens when you flick the light switch-https://beerdoggingaletotheburbs.wordpress.com/2013/04/15/ale-to-the-burbs-beer-dogging-cigars-and-stripes/.Also, superstar artist Kymm Bang(who also has art on display right above that notorious mirror)posted a pic of how the halloween creature lookedwhen illuminated (below).Of course, common sense (in fact, any sense) says youreally, Really, REALLY shouldn't have a 2-way mirror in the women's restroom,but he police checked it all out and no charges are being pressed.Maybe because you can only get to the closet by entering the bathroom first,and the closet door can't be locked from the inside,making it unlikely that you could hide in there undetected.And, I'm guessing, Ronnies story rang true to them.So, let's all relax and calm down.And a good way to relax is taking a trip to 6715 Ogden Ave in Berwyn,and place your rear end on the biggest tourist attraction in Illiniois, the woman's toilet!Now there's no second guessing that a Cigar and Stripes employee might be pantless behind the 2-Way mirror, because as soon as the door closes behind you the room lights up and the monster always appears!But more importantly while you're there,have some chicken wings and a beer (or 3)!EAT! LAFF! DRINK!

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Additional titles will be unveiled mid-promotion on April 22.

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The Humble Underground Book Bundle presented by Last Gasp runs from now until Wednesday, April 29, 2015 at 11 a.m. Pacific time.

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