Bradley Cooper Just Can't Catch a Break

The Call Sheet sifts through the day's glut of Hollywood news to find the stories even non-industry types care about. Today: A Bradley Cooper joint falls apart, Robert Redford is stranded, and Bravo heads back to Miami.

Sure he's got the Hangover movies to make him a very rich man, and he's been declared the sexiest man alive by science, but boy if Bradley Cooper is otherwise having problems. The A Team tanked, he didn't get in on any of the superhero movies that have been rattling through the multiplexes for the past few years, his reboot of The Crow fell through, and now the big Paradise Lost angel battle movie he was supposed to star in (as Lucifer) has been officially scrapped. Yup, no more Coop waving a flaming seraph sword or whatever he was going to do in that movie. That is too bad for him. To his credit he does have The Words, a drama that sold well at Sundance, and movies by Derek Cianfrance and David O. Russell in the can, but those are indie-ish, not really the stuff of big, big stardom. Ah well. Goodbye, Paradise! Goodbye Diego Boneta and Camilla Belle walking around in fig leaves as Adam and Eve. Adieu, Benjamin Walker as hunky rock 'em sock 'em angel Michael. Adios to all of it! You almost had heaven. But now it's, well, lost. [Deadline]

Here's some more sad news. Robert Redford has been lost at sea. Or, rather, he will be. He's been confirmed as the sole star of Margin Call writer/director J.C. Chandor's next film, All Is Lost, about, well, an old man and the sea. They'll be shooting the flick down in those crazy Mexican water tanks that were built for Titanic, so that ought to be fun for the 76-year-old Mr. Redford, floating around in a water tank for ten hours a day while some punk kid tells him what to do. Eh, well, at least it's in Baja! Nice and warm! Have fun, guys. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Oh dear god. Lea Michele, the Long Island diva turned Glee star, is in talks to play the lead in the movie adaptation of the Broadway musical Spring Awakening, which Michele also starred in. So that makes sense. Sure it will just serve to make her even more... well, Lea Michele-esque, but she was good in the part (in what is a sort of annoying musical buoyed mostly by beautiful music by Duncan Sheik) so it all follows. Here's the thing that doesn't make sense: the movie is being directed by McG. Yes, that McG. Like Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle McG, like This Means War McG (review of that coming next week...). Man oh man! This could be, like, a very bad movie then! Just very, very bad. Unless, of course, they cast Hunter Parrish as the male lead, who did it in a replacement gig on Broadway. Because if they cast him then everything's beautiful and fine and we'll complain no more. But if not! Oh if not. We're not gonna be happy, McG. You to, Lea. Maybe especially you too. [E!]

Ah, this is nice news. Wendi McLendon-Covey, Reno 911! star and Bridesmaids ensemble member, has been cast in the upcoming HBO Goldie Hawn pilot The Viagra Diaries, which will be directed by Bridesmaids director Paul Feig. McLendon-Covey will play Hawn's daughter, some kind of "female therapist." So this could be funny, actually! Not that Goldie Hawn herself can't be funny, it's just that she hasn't done it in so long. So having Deputy Clementine around ought to help. Nice work, everyone! [Deadline]

Ugh. Bravo has decided to do a second season of Real Housewives of Miami, the low-rated iteration of their otherwise popular reality franchise. (Well, otherwise popular except for the terrible turd that was Real Housewives of D.C.) It's been a while since we last saw the Miami ladies, though that probably won't matter. Bravo is said to be overhauling the series, which likely means new cast members. Man, mustn't it be so weird to be on a failed Housewives franchise? Like it's weird to be on any Housewives franchise, popular or not, but at least if it's popular you get a little money and "success" out of the deal. You're on a failed one, though? You're just stuck with the sad stink of having tried do to something terrible and failing even at that. No guest spots on Watch What Happened Live, no appearances in the "Summer By Bravo" ads. Nothing. Just a dumb old dump of footage of you scrambling to become famous for being awful and then not becoming famous for it. Though probably staying awful. Woof. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Ellen Barkin has been cast in Ryan Murphy's upcoming gay couple/surrogate pilot The New Normal, playing the surrogate's wild 'n' crazy mom. Sooo... that makes sense, right? Barkin's been on a bit of a comeback resurgence of late, winning a Tony for The Normal Heart, doing a lottt of acting in Another Happy Day, creating a funny, profane Twitter account, and now this. Playing a zany mom on a Ryan Murphy sitcom. That actually sounds just about right. Sort of oddly, cosmically right. OK. Huh. Ellen Barkin, ladies and gentlemen. [Deadline]

Naomi Watts, meanwhile, has been cast as Diana in the new movie Caught in Flight, about the last two years of the Princess of Wales' life. So... that'll be great. Look, Naomi Watts is a terrific, appealing actress, and Di's story is interesting, but man, it just ends awfully badly, doesn't it? Just not sure that movie is going to be any fun to watch. (Not that movies have to be fun to watch, but there's a reason I still haven't seen The Pianist. When is it ever the occasion to watch that, y'know?) [Deadline]

OMG, guys. Look at all these Game of Thrones photos. Just look at them. But don't look at #11! That one's just for us. [BuzzFeed]

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.

We want to hear what you think about this article. Submit a letter to the editor or write to letters@theatlantic.com.