My allergies aren’t quite as bad as trees fucking in my eyes, but I have been rather miserable this last week. Felt like I was getting a cold, but it was never a fullblown cold, just that crappy feeling you get right before. Like flowers fucking in your eyes.

I’m in Florida so I’m personally getting fucked in the eyes by pine trees and oak trees…and lots of them. Actually now that I think about it I’m getting fucked everywhere by those bastards…there needles are in my pool, there cones are in my lawn mower, and there sex goo is all over my damn car. Nothing worse then a yellow car the day after you wash it. Dirty tree bastards. One day I’ll take a picture and post it so you can see how fun a nice coat of pollen is on your shiny waxed car.

WTF is up with this tree shit? I never used to get any kind of spring allergies at all, and this year my head is exploding. I blame New Jersey.

Combined with Bernie’s experience, I’m starting to formulate a theory. This is clearly a government plot to get us to hate trees so much that we’ll beg them to cut them all down. And it’s working! Asphalt everywhere, please.

Dude, can’t you see? It’s not the government… it’s a friggin invasion. The trees have been observing (and fucking in our eyes) for a long, long time. They are just waiting for the right time to strike. Just like sheep…

Respect the trees, for they are more powerful than you can possibly imagine. Also, I forgot to mention, that last line of the comment reminds me of Flonase nasal spray. One side effect is nosebleeds. Hmm… Boogers or blood? Such a tough decision.

Edit: Aramor, Lylmik’s quote in your sig makes so much more sense now.

it’s funny and it sucks how everyone seems to be saying the same thing. i also never really felt the allergy season until this year. and man does it hurt. my sinuses are trying to claw their way out of my nose…through the bridge.

Trees… Copulating… What a hilarious thing to think of… Hmm… Will Preston get so mad at trees for “fucking” his eyes (And causing his blindness) that he’ll go and axe them all while they slumber?

Lylmik was trying to say “Make like a tree and leave” but he/she probably didn’t feel like making the correct pun so they said “fuck off really quick.” Don’t you just love internet wit?

I live in Canadia. Dododoooo! I think I’m getting allergies this year. There was this infection thing going around because it’s a secondary one and was taking advantage of people’s allergies. You get a sore throat, huge blisters too, sneezing (And copious amounts of mucus), and your right ear is just frigged up. My mom woke up one morning and she was sick with it, her eardrum almost ready to burst because of the damn infection. (Gross, eh?) (Let’s hear more!!) We got really strong antibiotics that were only meant for five days, but we were prescribed for seven. And they’re so strong that they’ll keep working for two weeks after we stop taking them. Yay! Stupid immune system. But, right now, I’m in Texas. And I don’t see many flowers. Except huge magnolias. Dammit, I’m getting a headache. I’ll stop typing now before Preston axes me.

The other day, I saw four Prestons. I think Bernie’s stalking me, trying to make me like the predator. There’s the Preston here, my sister’s fiance’s nephew Preston, a highway called Preston, and I just finished a book by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child. Where the hell are the Abrahams!?

I too am suffering extremely from allergies for the first time in my life. I was on Allegra, but that did nothing, so I moved onto something that actually works. Nevertheless, the trees are still winning the battle. We must destroy the leader of tree sex if we are to defeat the entire army. That seems to work with everything else anyway…

Socran wrote:
Also, I forgot to mention, that last line of the comment reminds me of Flonase nasal spray. One side effect is nosebleeds. Hmm… Boogers or blood? Such a tough decision.

I’ve been seeing a rheumatoid arthritis medication advertised the past couple of months that blithely lists among its side effects…lymphoma. When they start considering cancer a “side effect,” I’m going to start trying faith healing instead, thanks.

Don’t you think Mace would work better than axe? :P Yep I too suffer from allergies but I remember a while ago I got alergy shots. I got 2 needles a week for almost 2 years. Not fun at all if you ask me. And i remember when they did the test to see what I was allergic to they had this huge thing that put like 200 drops on me in rows and columns, each drop being something different. Then the doctor proceeded to pierce me at each and every drop and then wait 15 minutes and see which parts of my skin swelled up and reacted to whatever was just put in me. I remember pain and that’s all.

Lets get rid of allergies alltogether and burn all the trees to the ground! :twisted:

Trees… Copulating… What a hilarious thing to think of… Hmm… Will Preston get so mad at trees for “fucking” his eyes (And causing his blindness) that he’ll go and axe them all while they slumber?

Lylmik was trying to say “Make like a tree and leave” but he/she probably didn’t feel like making the correct pun so they said “fuck off really quick.” Don’t you just love internet wit?

I live in Canadia. Dododoooo! I think I’m getting allergies this year. There was this infection thing going around because it’s a secondary one and was taking advantage of people’s allergies. You get a sore throat, huge blisters too, sneezing (And copious amounts of mucus), and your right ear is just frigged up. My mom woke up one morning and she was sick with it, her eardrum almost ready to burst because of the damn infection. (Gross, eh?) (Let’s hear more!!) We got really strong antibiotics that were only meant for five days, but we were prescribed for seven. And they’re so strong that they’ll keep working for two weeks after we stop taking them. Yay! Stupid immune system. But, right now, I’m in Texas. And I don’t see many flowers. Except huge magnolias. Dammit, I’m getting a headache. I’ll stop typing now before Preston axes me.

The other day, I saw four Prestons. I think Bernie’s stalking me, trying to make me like the predator. There’s the Preston here, my sister’s fiance’s nephew Preston, a highway called Preston, and I just finished a book by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child. Where the hell are the Abrahams!?

xeno.morph wrote:
Lylmik was trying to say “Make like a tree and leave” but he/she probably didn’t feel like making the correct pun so they said “fuck off really quick.” Don’t you just love internet wit?

I actually do know how the pun goes, but chose to completely ignore the convention and go my own way, as guessed. Had a friend like that, for the threat of gettting the bullet in the back of the head, he just couldn’t say the right thing at the right time, played havoc with his love-life…..

And it is he, even if after getting the things cooking and finishing off, it is my girlfriend that falls asleep afterwards and i want to talk.
I know, i know, slap me around and call me a bitch…. We did talk about it, and is a constant source of ridicule….. that swings both ways most of the time…….

Man, Star Wars thing coming out in just 2 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And apparently, http://www.comingsoon.com is saying that AVP is getting a younger sibling………. sweeeeeettttttt……..
I don’t know, AVP didn’t really fare well in the land of Oz, but i loved it, they ran it along the lines of some of the books, i think chicks’ name was Mitchiko Noguchi or something, was cool….. aw screw it…..

Okay, allergies and me go back a long long LONG LOOOOOOOOOOOONG way! Ever since I was four I have had one allergy shot a week, and the allergy test imrumpf is also well known. Oi 36 shots up and down BOTH arms…thank God it is only once a year. stupid trees…magnolias should DIE DIEEEEEEE DDDDDIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE :x as for all of the blasted flower shops…hmmm.they should BURN!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D

ACK I almost forgot about all of those freakin cottonwoods that keep fluffing their junk all over my pool! (sneezes uncontrolably *cough cough hack wheeze*) im ok…really …im fine! :?

I think i have an allergy to dust, but just very mild, sneeze like sumbich, 6-7 times in a go….
But long ago, i have heard that each sneeze equates to 1/3 of an orgasm, no idea in what way, but i figured that i might as well rack up the mileage and do it heaps…. and is invigorating fun…. don’t mind….
And compared to you geriatrics, i think i’m lucky!!!!!
And since i ridiculed you on your misfortune, i will probably get it as well!!
Bring out the voodoo dollies and bunch of pins……………

Lylmik wrote:
But long ago, i have heard that each sneeze equates to 1/3 of an orgasm

If that were true, let’s just say my mornings would be a lot more fun, and I would have discovered the male equivalent of multiple orgasms.

I remember getting all those shots, and the weekly shots. Had them for years, until I said enough and stopped going. Still have a little problem when I am overwhelmed (like being in a pet store), but otherwise I am OK.

I didn’t have allergies until I moved to Florida… *grumble grumble* Now I can’t have dogs, cats or any animal that romps around… bitches. I also sneeze for endurance… up 8 sneezes in a row. Nine in a row was my personal best after my friend let her cat into the house while I was sleeping on the couch… and it decided to cuddle RIGHT NEXT TO ME. Gah!

Lylmik wrote:
Man, Star Wars thing coming out in just 2 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And apparently, http://www.comingsoon.com is saying that AVP is getting a younger sibling………. sweeeeeettttttt……..
I don’t know, AVP didn’t really fare well in the land of Oz, but i loved it, they ran it along the lines of some of the books, i think chicks’ name was Mitchiko Noguchi or something, was cool….. aw screw it…..

Stop trying to change the subject.

Hmm. Cats have a way of finding those who are allergic to them. Try a pet bearded dragon, or a rat. They’re both so cuddly!!

Just wanted to let you guys know that this thing can also work vice versa. I used to have a really bad allergy when I was younger, it was a nightmare. However, maybe three, four years ago it started to get easier and easier. Last summer I had almost nothing. I’m 31 now.

So don’t give up hope guys, there’s still hope for you and your running noses!

Xeno.Morph wrote:
Lylmik was trying to say “Make like a tree and leave” but he/she probably didn’t feel like making the correct pun so they said “fuck off really quick.” Don’t you just love internet wit?

Quote:

I’m aware of that, I was pointing out that his alteration of the phrase actually meant something now. Obviously it wasn’t his original intention, but it’s TRUE!

This is probably one of the funniest AlP strip I know (and I know them all). I even registered on the forum just because of this strip. Kudos!
By the way, I have the exact same problem as you – trees fucking in my eyes. And I am not even a dendrophiliac :-(. It is interesting to note that, like you, I only got this allergy about four to five years ago, and never had any problems prior to that. 2004/05 I spent a year in Texas (originally being from Austria, Europe), and never had any problems during that time. Now, a year later, it seems to be much, much better too, fortunately.

Sudafed… the little red pill… four wonderful hours of itchless eyes and runless nose….. sure…. there are others that the pharmy companies want you to try… but this little chemical is tried, true AND cheap!!!!!! besides you can regulate the dosage and not feel like you live inside a can of play dough.

as for trees fuckin’……. pollen : dustlike yellow grains containing themale reproductive cells of flowering plants. 8)
pollenate: to fertilize by carrying pollen to the female part of a plant!!!
ohhh yeah sexayyyyyyy!!!!
8)
[size=10:807eb8ca42] god I love horticultue!!!!!
and remeber kids…. You can lead a whore to culture … but you can’t make her think!!!!!![/size:807eb8ca42]

Lylmik, there’s a button on the upper right corner of each post that says “quote”. Click the button and you’ll go to a reply window with the correct code for quoting somebody. Or, if you just want to grab some text and quote it, use this code:

Quote:
blah blah blah

To quote a specific person, use this code:

username wrote:
blah blah blah

That’s all there is to it. There’s also some buttons for doing quick code at the top of the post window. Highlight the text and click the button, and it inserts the text.

Stu wrote:
Still have a little problem when I am overwhelmed (like being in a pet store), but otherwise I am OK.

Stu, my advice to you, if you’re allergic to pets, is to avoid pet stores.

~j

I generally do. But there are times when being around pets (or more specifically, animal hair) is unavoidable. Cases in point:

1) My uncle and his family has an English Springer Spaniel. Every time I go visit, I break out in hives, even after they vacuum up the place. It’s unavoidable.

2) Years ago, I visited the Grand Canyon as part of a summer tour, and I took a horse trip (or whatever animal) down to the bottom. To ensure I wouldn’t break out in hives and itch, I took some Benadryl. Four tablets, which any doctor should tell you is way above the recommended dosage and should not be done. I didn’t break out in hives, but I’m not sure I was too coherent the rest of the day.

Preston can axe me while I slumber anytime. Except I just vapourized his head. Or did I? WE WILL FIND OUT WHEN BERNIE UPDATES! Which should be TODAY!!! Either it’s Wednesday today and Big B’s late, or I’m severely confused. I think I took too much benodryl.