Sunday, February 5, 2012

Mid-Course Blues

We've just finished the midpoint classes in the Waldorf crash course I am taking... and with it came a lot of challenges.

I wasn't being as faithful with my backward review and recorder practice.

Weather changed from warm to cold to cool to warm again... and triggered allergies.

I came home to sons last Thursday who thought it necessary to have a meltdown at the same time that I wanted to cry too.

Then Yakee started barfing and complaining of a tummy ache. And Yamee was warm, then started registering a fever. Aside from not wanting them sick, a part of me was selfishly asking the universe to not let them get sick enough that I'd need to stay home... because missing a class would mean I won't get a certificate at the end of the course, and I'd have a hard time understanding the succeeding lessons. In the end, while monitoring Yamee's temperature the whole night, I opted to just pray to God to give me a sign where I should be the next day.

He answered with Yamee's temperature not reaching 38 Centigrade again... so I managed to get to class.

I enjoyed painting time and wondered already if I should get an apron for Yakee and I when we do it at home, or should I use lab coats for us instead since Yakee is inclined to be real messy.

Friday, both sons were sneezy, including me. I enjoyed storytelling time though.

The weather last Saturday didn't help my sinuses... also the fiberfill we had to use as stuffing for the puppets we were making. I went home with a full-blown rhinitis attack exacerbated by the long commute. And then, I don't know if it was just part of the allergic march or I was really reacting to something in the food I ate (I suspect the coco sugar in the basil muffin I ordered, and then I had to eat butter cookies laced with coconut). At 11 PM last night, my face started getting itchy hives and my lips started swelling.

STRESS.

Good thing it was, again, a very slow-acting allergy that responded to Claritin.

I'm still sneezy now, and the whole family has had to give up air conditioning just so we can all sleep in the same bedroom (thank heavens it's cool). I am a little depressed by that because we're due to see our allergist on Tues, and I really didn't want to report sinus allergies for us three again. I really want to stop giving my sons meds... and heaven help me, I want to stop being dependent on Claricort for my hands.

But the boys are asleep now... and still generally healthy, very much thriving, and really super wonderful. That's all that counts.

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I am a Mom

I have always wanted to be a Mom. But I have stumbled many times in my journey. Still, I continue investing myself. I continue stumbling as I learn. I continue loving. I continue striving. I continue changing, evolving, adapting. Thus, I reap the benefits of being an intentional parent. And everyday, I am fulfilled.
I may have few pictures with my sons, since I usually take the photographs. But their first stories happened with me there as witness. Therein lies my privilege.

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