The Pat and Barb Verly family and their 5 children, in laws and grandkids along with many prayer warriors have been drawn together by John's cancer... sharing daily for 8 months started this blog- Family Soul Story - Our faith, family, farm and now our cancer journey called HEALING have colored and deepened our world. WE continue to share and depend on the support of our prayer warrior community, that has lowered us into the Lord's presence for His healing!

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

I have been gifted with a mother's necklace. It was made with love by my sister, Cheryl, and given to me by my daughter, Nancy. As a new mother after waiting hopefully for many years to meet her future husband and have a family - my sister brought Nancy a special necklace with Our Lady holding her son medal and then Augustine's birthstone on either side above it. Nancy loves it so much that other than sleeping... she wears it constantly. She asked me to write down all the birthdates of my children in order from oldest to youngest... including the 6 in heaven. The resulting necklace is a beautiful aray of colors, and with the total of 11... my sister started with my January baby Ruth at the bottom, and then added the 5 on each side to total the 11! How precious to me to have all my kids together! Thank you Nancy and Cheryl for this special gift, that respects all the life that awaits me here and in heaven. My entire family of LOVE and LIFE! Jesus, we trust in you.

Last minute John saw clear to go to Texas with his old parents... it was a wonderful gift to have him along. We were excited at this point as we drove through New Mexico mountainous area and watched the elevation approach a mile high! The things that you discover on an adventure across the country... the arid landscape makes you appreciate the black earth and large fertile fields that we are blessed with. Here and there we would see a lone cow trying to fill it's belly with meager grass or whatever. Pat and John discussed much about the differences... it was just good to have John with us from both of our perspectives. It seems that after sharing a year battling his brain cancer... that we yearn for times that we can be close and share everything! And as close as John and I were on that seat that we shared... it was truly a close time for us, and with a folded comforter under our bottoms to make the seat more soft and roomy.. it was a good and memorable time for us to laugh at and reminisce about. Thank you, Lord, for the gift of our son, who returns to the days of hanging out with mom and dad with great excitement and joy!

How his heart bled about what Maria was going through...Today I am being reminded that there are many things worse than losing a early pregnancy, and I need to realize that there are many losses that are worse... I was told of a 14 month old that died of crib death... too hard to even allow myself to imagine such a loss as that! There are always those that have it worse than us, to remind us that life is about taking those hurts and pain and put them to use in our lives... to empathize with those that suffer and put our effort into prayers for them and those in our domestic church - our family that face loss and pain. John certainly has taken facing death in brain cancer to find more compassion for others and has such a soft and caring place for all his sisters and brother-in-laws, and nieces and nephews... whether in the womb or here with us. I received such a beautiful note, that made me weep, the other day from his house mother at his fraternity, who spoke that John "is very wise and thoughtful about many things. I've been going to write you to tell you what a joy it is to have John here at Farmhouse. He makes me smile everyday." writes MaryAnn to his tearful mother! How I see that John has been softened and humbled as if he were chewed up and spit out... to put it in crude terms. He has a new and loving and caring perspective on life and family and all aspects of his faith! How he asked to find his faith for many years, and now he has! "I don't have anything big in my life to make me turn to my faith!" he would say.... well, that has all changed!

So many powerful feelings are filling me to the brim these days... related to John's healing! The experiences we had at Lisa's funeral and wake, where we met other parents of those that had lost their young 20something children to brain cancer and how they looked at John with the hunger to see someone who had not been killed by the enemy, but had life and a future in his eyes! Then to have a lady friend share with me that she had come to the mass where John was prayed over for healing with annointing by Fr Paul and also the prayer for healing with the relic of Venerable Solanus Casey... "I had had a stomache ailment of a few months, and I decided that I would ask for healing too! I was healed from that day forward!" I hugged her and thanked her profusely to know that this happened for her, and although John didn't go leaping down the ailes healed at that moment... many were touched to "see" a family that took prayer so seriously and could say that from that day they prayed for John and now he is healed! Prayer really is powerful, and really works! Now looking at the idea that this will be our 40th anniversary this Christmas of our family becoming Catholic... and the possibility of the priest - Fr Custodio - who gave us our instruction, coming to say mass for our family as we gather for Cross Christmas camp. John also remembers that Fr Custodio came to his hospital room in the first week of his scarey cancer journey and layed hands on him for healing... Who knows how all of the prayers and sacraments and saints and doctors and rosaries combined together to heal John? But he is today healed and tomorrow we expect to get only good news once again! Jesus, we trust in you!

Jesus, we love you and are filled with such wonder and awe at the wisdom of your amazing Church, and all those that have been with us on this journey called cancer/healing! All the ways that we have been ministered to as we walk the path of the Cross... through that Cross we have found healing, and resurrection in a new life of caring and compassion for all those in this world and around us that suffer! All of us have hurts and losses and we are reminded that there are always those that have greater pain than us. We need to look past our hurts and embrace our brother or sister next to us and that helps us to heal and find YOU! To see your face in those around us, and to cry out to you in our need - "Jesus, we are weak and lost and hurting... lift us onto your shoulders we are wandering and confused by the pain, and the lies of the world. We rejoice to know that we are yours, and that you want to share every part of our lives and each part of each day with us! Thank you for this year of anniversary and celebration of our coming to Your Church 40 years ago! We have your fingerprint on us and we are forever changed and transformed! Jesus, we love you and trust in you! Amen and Halleluia!

Bless-bless, Barb

"All the earth shall remember and return to the Lord,

all families of the nations worship before him

for the kingdom is the Lord's; he is ruler of the nations.

They shall worship him, all the mighty of the earth;

before him shall bow all who go down to the dust.

And my soul shall live for him, my children serve him.

They shall tell of the Lord to generations yet to come,

declare his faithfulness to peoples yet unborn:

'These things the Lord has done.' "

Psalm 22

"Reveal your might, O God, and come;

Descend to earth in magesty,

In magesty of poverty,

In power of humility."

Hymn to be sung to the tune of When I Survey the Wondrous Cross

St Andrew, on this your feastday... a humble fisherman, who answered the call to follow him even to death on an upside down cross. Pray for us!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Maria requested a family picture that they might use for Christmas, so I was gifted with this special shot in front of the mosiac of Our Lady of Guadalupe that graces the front of their home in Texas. She has recovered from her hard time the days before of losing her pregnancy, but you can see a pale sadness and depth of pain underneath it all... maybe because of our time together throughout... whether in front of Jesus at mass or the tabernacle, or just at home sharing her and my similar experiences with our children... here and in heaven. There were special times to share, and times to hug, and cry too... The not knowing why part is so hard, and the prayers of both of our hearts and spirits for the expanded family, and the love of life... make it so hard to understand why it has to be this way. But I can speak from experience in saying that the losses make for a close family, that truly loves each other, and appreciates the siblings they have, and look to heaven to be united with those that were saddly lost along the way. For my kids...Christopher, Thomas, Joseph, William, Robert and Mary, pray for us. For Maria... Alida/Hector and Patrick/Magdalene pray for us.

"Jesus rejoices because the Father reveals the great things of heaven to the childlike, that is, to those who, like Jesus, receive everything from the Father. If 'the baby shall play by the cobra's den, and the child lay his hand on the adder's lair,' what will come of our lives if we dare to be childlike? The little child in Mary's womb guides us." from morning prayer explaining the readings for the day... see http://www.magnificat.com/

What does this say today? That we need to be trusting and unaware of the danger that lurks in the cobra's den... playing there and the Lord will protect us from any harm..."There shall be no harm or ruin on all my holy mountain; for the earth shall be filled with knowledge of the Lord, as water covers the sea." Isaiah 11: 1-10. Maria's sisters told me that it was right and good that I was with her at the time of her loss - which has happened with her last two pregnancies now. "Mom, you can be there for her, and help her from the perspective of one who has been through it personally. And you would want to be with her if it hadn't worked out this way!" Is that true? It is so hard, and I feel so helpless and almost angry that she has to face this, when I pleaded and prayed without ceasing for this to never happen to my girls, and that their wish for family would be blessed. How can I expect for this to not be part of their story too? It was a Cross which became the Tree of Life for me, so why not for my girls? Life becomes so much more valuable when we have our foot over into heaven with the value we place on all life from conception on. Maria debated whether she should name this one for a few minutes, but then we only had to look at the wisdom of our amazing Church - life is respected and valued from conception to Natural Death. Little Patrick/Magdalene was here for only 8 weeks but the conception happened and so it was a life, and continues on in heaven to await and pray for it's mother, father, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, greatgrandparents... the family that will embrace it with love and gratitude someday in heaven!

Jesus, how we need you and cling to you, and your wisdom and love for us no matter how small! As Horton said... " a person is a person no matter how small." We are grateful for the days we had with our little family, and the powerful ways that they look to you for all that gives them LIFE and LOVE! We place all in your hands, and rely on you for all that gives us Truth, and show us the Way,and the Life. When we are weak is when you come to us... as we falter and stumble and hurt and cry out to you... "Jesus, we need you and life is so hard to understand from our perspective, but from the difficulties we endure comes the power and reality of eternal LIFE through the Cross! Jesus, we trust in you." Amen and Halleluia

Bless-bless, Barb

"On that day, a shoot shall sprout from the stump of Jesse, and from his roots a bud shall blossom. The Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him: A Spirit of counsel and of strength, A Spirit of knowledge and of fear of the Lord, and his delight shall be the fear of the Lord.... Justice shall be a band around his waist, and faithfulness a belt upon his hips..." Isaiah 11: 1-10

"When we look into our hearts, do we find that our basic question is: 'What can I give to God?' There is only one answer - God's answer: 'Nothing beloved! Only receive with glad hearts what I give, and that is myself. The greatest gift you can give me is the trust that lives by this truth.' It is, of course, what Jesus is saying when He tells us we must have the heart of a child in regard to God. I wonder whether we take seriously enough, we grown men and women, the stress that Jesus puts on being a child in order to recieve what God has to give? It means God can come fully only only to the little ones. ... I think that when Jesus takes the child in his arms, sets him in front of himself, pointing to him a model, it is to himself that he is pointing. His inmost heart was always that of a child and that is why he could live with such freedom, courage and self-squandering."

Sr Ruth Burrows

Lord, help us to nurture and respect the child within ourselves. Amen and Halleluia

Monday, November 28, 2011

We spoke of our trip as we were on the last leg from Sioux Falls to our farm... John spoke of how hard it was to go through the hard loss of our grandchild with Maria and her family, and I truly am in a numb state of sadness and shock to have to relive that now with my daughter. But the actual trip and the getting their stuff to them went really well, and Pat, John and I feel that we came through the almost week of being away without a hitch! Thank you Lord! We have seen much of the center of our country from the seat of a truck and then a car coming home... the cattle that dotted the landscape throughout whether desert of grassland were a sight that we never tired of... however, we are tired to the deepest parts tonight and our beds are calling.

We are missing the loving hugs and kisses of our sweet Therese and David, and John will head off to the Cities for school in the morning. We appreciate all the prayers that have been with us on this journey of so many dimensions... WE ask for more as we return to Rochester on Thursday to have John go through his tests to be sure that the cancer is staying away. Jesus, we trust in you! Amen and Halleluia!

Sunday, November 27, 2011

It has now been about 8 hours on the road, after a tearful goodbye to our little family in Texas... we find ourselves in Oklahoma for the night. Bone tired of mind and spirit after the sharing with our daughter of the loss of our little grandchild after 8 weeks of life. In parting we hugged and voiced the fact that we share way too much of the hard things in life..."I hoped that none of my daughters would even have a miscarriage, but to be with you when it happens... too hard, and crazy!"

We have them with us in our hearts... many prayers throughout our day spoken and repeated within. Jesus, we love you and thank you for walking this path with us. We celebrate the LIFE we have to meet someday in heaven. Jesus, we trust in you. Bless-bless, Barb

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Maria had a tough time this afternoon with her losing the baby. She is now in a better place physically and mentally and spiritually. Tonight at mass we had tremendous healing from the mass and the words of wisdom. Jesus, we trust in you! Thank you for the prayers... we feel them. Pray for us as we hit the road.

Therese warmed my heart and I laughed in delight as she sang this simple profound song at breakfast. Maria has shared the faith so beautifully with her children in every part of their lives. She was sharing that without TV in their home and only a movie on Sundays... that when they are in a hotel room on the way here and a commercial came on during a show... they thought that the TV was broken... "Mom, what happened to the show?" So crazy amazing that they are that naive about the workings of shows on TV with the constant bombardment of commercials... Maria should be pleased that they are that way. Last night she had a chance to tell Therese that the baby they had been expecting was sick and was going to be with Jesus. "But, mom, what about the baby getting milk?" "I don't think that they need milk in heaven." "Mom, I think that Jesus will give our baby milk." We are blessed by the wisdom and beautiful insight of little children. I think that it gave Maria some healing to have this conversation with her precious daughter.

Jesus along with your Mother... we thank you for the love and care and comfort we gain from each other and your wonderful Church! We are reminded that you are in control. Jesus, we trust in you! Amen and Halleluia!

Bless-bless, Barb

"O God, by the fruitful virginity of Blessed Mary, you have given to the human race the reward of eternal life. Grant we beseech you, that through the intercession of the mother of the Author of Life, the Church may become the mother of many children who take their place before your throne to sing your praises for all eternity..." see www.magnificata.com Our new little Patrick/Magdelene has joined the joyful chorus of praise around your throne!

Friday, November 25, 2011

Maria didn't get a real definite answer today, but things are starting to look like a miscarrige is what we are facing... talking, crying and praying... we hold each other up and are filled with the blessings of mass and prayers shared... John prayed to Our Lady over his sister just before she left... so sweet. Jesus, we trust in you! Bless-bless

We celebrated a Thanksgiving dinner in the midst of getting the truck emptied... many comments on the good food and the many beautiful colors... being with family in this far distant place... sharing mass and prayer and tears at the feet of Jesus. Uncertainty this day as Maria's pregnancy is in question. Kneeling in the adoration chapel - I asked the Lord WHY? Why do I have to be with Maria when she experiences the one thing that I pleaded with the Lord that none of my girls would ever have to lose a life to mischarriage... so hard and so sad and so much the Cross!

I had the experience yesterday of having two women sit down in front of me and share the morning 'office" together. Very familiar with my daughters and son-in-law over the years. So beautiful to hear the words of the psalms and the shared prayers and scriptures... as I gaze at the tabernacle and pray for Maria, my new grandchild in her womb and am carried back to the years of my many losses and the awareness of them with me from heaven and awaiting me there.

After mass Therese and I went over to see the beautiful statue of Our Lady and Therese kissed her crowns that were to hold candles lit for her prayer intentions. The priest homily made us all pause in wonder at his profound words of the Lord's second coming..." The Lord comes to us each day, and we need to be prepared for his coming. Each night when we go to sleep... we are reinacting our death and when we awake we find HIM there with us in all that we face with each day." I was amazed at the simple beauty of these words and how they are so the TRUTH that will set us free.

Then we went to see St Therese... Maria is heading into the ER for an ultrasound and possibly a shot of progesterone if the baby is still fighting for LIFE. We ask for prayers now - Jesus, we know that you are with us in all that we face in this life. The cross comes with life, and we ask that we can accept and embrace those things that we do not understand. Jesus, we trust in you. Amen and Halleluia!

Thursday, November 24, 2011

We have arrived in Texas! Our squash was in the form of pizza last night! The hugs were plentiful and the smiling faces of welcome abounded. A day starting with mass, and then we will tackle unpacking the truck. We are soon to gather for a family breakfast. May all your meals be filled with family and fun and love and good conversation! Jesus, we trust in you. Bless-bless

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Many cows were a part of our day...as we traveled through the center of the country with the harvested corn fields now fenced in with cows roaming them and eating the husks and corn dropped on the ground. There were also those ever familiar windmills showing that the wind could blow here too.

John and I have had many times of closeness, but not quite this close. We shared a seat and helped with the directions. While passing through Kansas at about 3p our time... we talked to Susan/Hallel in France just as she was heading to bed at 10p. She was surprised to know that we were in a truck heading to Texas! Sometimes the ability to talk on the phone flying down the highway in a U Haul in Kansas with our precious Hallel in France as we pass her brother's cell phone one from the other. Family time comes in many unexpected forms and we appreciate them all! Jesus, we thank you and trust in you. Bless-bless

HI... we are in Nebraska! I just wanted to try out John's new laptop while we are stopped to eat and I should be doing this standing... sharing the seat with John is close and tight! Safe travels Lord!

A cute sight greeted my eyes as I roamed the farm with 3 year old grandson, David. We are up early today to hit the road, and are pleased to have John with us too! He finally could see clear to go on an adventure with mom and dad.... as we drive the U Haul down to see his sister, Maria's family in Texas! It will be close quarters for the next two days, but we have spent so much close time together over the last 2 1/2 years with John's brain cancer - that we kind of thrive on it...John is up and out with Pat to leave everything as perfect as possible for Paul, who will be doing the chores while we are away! It is very hard for Pat to leave the farm, and all that he needs to do on a daily basis, but he usually doesn't look back too much as we are heading down the road. John just pointed out how "tight" we will be in the cab of the truck - I told him that "tight" is our middle name, and he said that he thought that "late" was our middle name... True! I prefer tight though... in the sense of the physical closeness and also the spiritual and emotional and mental closeness that we have found on our cancer/healing journey!

Grinding hay so that there will be plenty of feed for Paul to feed the cows... Jesus, go with us as we travel to see family on this new adventure. May all those that are traveling this holiday be safe and share the journey with great joy and excitement as they form a tight bond of love and FAMILY! Yes, that usually involves those ups and downs and friendly arguments and tensions, but then may we remember the true meaning of togetherness is a way of giving one to the other. May we put the others first and ask for the gift of humility. St Cecelia - may your example of looking to Christ imspire us as we share morning prayer this morning as we head down the road on this your feastday! Jesus, we love you and want to share your love with all those around us... especially in close proximity... and especially those that we love the most in this world - our families! Jesus, we trust in you! Amen and Halleluia!

Bless-bless, Barb... I don't think that snow will be an issue in Texas.

"A line from the 15th century story of St Cecelia explains how she became the Western patron of music. Faced with a forced marriage, despite her desire to dedicate her virginity to Christ, 'she sang in her heart only to God' for protection - and received it. This early Christian martyr's song of faith has certainly outlived the military and political power of her Roman oppressors." See http://www.magnificat.com/

Monday, November 21, 2011

My husband is a doer and he is always putting others and their needs ahead of his... especially when it is our kids! So I am starting to see that there will be family times that are really different and out of my comfort zone... rather than the traditional family gathering for Thanksgiving on the farm... we are heading with a huge UHaul van to Texas with all of Maria and Joseph's possessions. I must say that so far it has been OK with lots of good help loading it yesterday afternoon, and that Pat loves to see the country and there will be plenty of that on our trip from the top of our country to the botton over 2 days! He is also very good at conversation, so the radio and books on tape are not really a necessity either. We will get time to pray as long as the day is light enough, and then we will have those wonderful days with our pregnant daughter and grandkids! Today we are reminded of the importance of our families and being there for them in deed and in prayer... it is the feastday of the Presentation of the Blessed Virgin Mary as a child in the temple..."The story of the Presentation of Mary in the temple as a child captures the essential Gospel portraite of Mary as a woman entirely dedicated not merely to doing but to living the will of God. Her own willing obedience, unhesitatingly given and never revoked, lies at the heart of her life of self-sacrifice offered in love."

Psalm 40

"How many, O Lord my God,

are the wonders and designs

that you have worked for us;

you have no equal.

Should I proclaim and speak them all,

they are more than I can tell!

You do not ask for sacrifice and offerings,

but an open ear.

You do not ask for holocaust and victim.

Instead I am here.

In the scroll of the book it stands written

that I should do your will.

My God, I delight in your law

In the depth of my heart.

Your justice I have proclaimed

in the great assembly.

My lips I have not sealed;

you know it, O Lord.

I have not hidden your justice in my heart

but declared your faithful help.

I have not hidden your love and your truth

from the great assembly.

O Lord, you will not withhold

your compassion from me.

Your merciful love and your truth

will always guard me."

Sharing a family meal after the work... thank you Lord! The Gospel for today - Luke 21: 1-4 reminds me of Hallel's community and how they ask the poor to welcome them as Christ knocking on their door... the words of Christ after she has put her two small coins in the offering..."I tell you truly, this poor widow put in more than all the rest; for those others have all made offerings from their surplus wealth, but she, from her poverty, has offered her whole livelihood." Jesus, I love it when you speak to us! I love it to realize that we can and should give our all to you, and to walk away from the lure of the material in our lives. The difference of the two Wallmart bags that Maria took with her when she entered the Poor Clare Monastery compared to the huge truckload we loaded yesterday... we laughed at the difference! We all agreed that we will move Hallel next with her small amount of possessions... she can carry it herself in her hands! There is something to say about having no ties to the "things" of this world... that much more we can give to HIM!

Jesus, we thank you for family and the many ways we are called to care for one another. May this Thanksgiving be a special time for families to gather in thankfullness for all that they have shared in the next year and look forward to in the next, but also that the day of sharing food together and the joys found in sharing and giving will heal and mend. May the poor have warmth and food and fellowship. Be with all those traveling for safety especially our little family on their way. We love you and honor your amazing Mother of Heaven and Earth on this her feastday! She brought LIFE and LOVE into the world for the family to become whole and complete in HIM. Our Mother come into the heart of families and minister to their many needs with your Son, Jesus our King! Jesus, we trust in you! Amen and Halleluia!

Bless-bless, Barb

"The celebration of the Presentation of Mary reminds us how much our life resembles that of the people on Noah's ark. Alone and adrift, we ache for some sure sign that God has not forgotten us, that there is more to life than empty horizons, that God's mercy is greater than his wrath, that divine providence will show itself in a concrete sign when we need it most. What exultation must have errupted on the ark the moment that the little dove flew back to its deck with an olive branch in its beak! Even more, what would the people on the ark have done without this dove?

The feast of the Presentation of Mary gives us the assurance that God has confided to us someone we can rely on who will convey to us the promise of the Lord's saving love. We send forth this Dove, and she returns bearing in her womb one who carries not the olive leaf but the tree of the cross. This is why Blessed John Paul II declares that "the whole of the universe is... touched by the divine favor with which the Father looks upon Mary."

Fr Peter John Cameron an excerpt from the book Mysteries of the Virgin Mary: Living Our Lady's Graces

Sunday, November 20, 2011

"At that time he cured many of their diseases, sufferings, and evil spirits; he also granted sight to many who were blind. And he said to them in reply, 'Go tell John what you have seen and heard: the blind regain their sight, the lame walk, lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, the poor have the good news proclaimed to them.' " Luke 7: 21-22 Reminding us of what we can expect from our King... "Christ's reign is a conquest not over political enemies but over the powers of sin and death. His rule is redemption." see http://www.magnificat.com/

Jesus, our King, you are the Truth and Healing that we need to go forth filled with the fruits of your Spirit! That we may minister to the "hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or ill or in prison" those that we find close to us in our own family and beyond! Jesus, we trust in you! "Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of the least brothers of mine, you did for me." May we hear these words, dear loving and forgiving Savior and King. Amen and Halleluia

Bless-bless, Barb

"For the sake of Christ, such Christians regard such earthy beauty, adornment, glory, honor, and the riches of kings and princes as nothing because they have tasted divine beauty and the life of heavenly immortality has dropped like dew into their souls. Therefore, they ardently long for that love of the heavenly King and they have him alone before their eyes in every desire. For this sake they detach themselves from every wordly love and tear loose from every earthly attachment so that they may possess that one desire always in their hearts and never mix anything else with it."

Saturday, November 19, 2011

WE are just a month away from the shortest day of the year... the full moon is gone, so when the sun sets at 5p it really gets dark, and with the first snow covering the ground today - cold! We have the woodstove going and True Grit is on the TV... I am looking at this time at sunset in Kansas City last summer... it warms my heart, and reminds me of good family times. It chases away the feeling like winter is here, and what will it hold for us this year. One cold day at a time, and they are talking that the snow will be gone quickly and we will be back to our brown fall/winter. Jesus, we trust in you. Bless-bless

Saturdays are devoted to the Blessed Mother of God, Mary Most Holy! With some close to us... Mary is a wall that comes between us - they as Protestants cannot see why we give her so much of our attention..."Christ is sufficient." Yet, I look at all the hurt and damaged and struggling families of every shape, and it is True that they need to find Christ in their lives, but think of the healing that could take place with a wonderful Spiritual Mother there to take them on her lap, and comfort them, and take them to her son after she has bandaged them up and fed them... as a mother is given the gift of being the lap to nestle in and listen to stories, and the maker of meals, and the listening ear, and the one to kiss and put a bandage on wounds that come with life and growing up. How we need our wonderful life giving Spiritual Mother! So many ways that we are led away from LIFE and LOVE, by the lies of Satan and the world! She helps us find the narrow path... the path to eternal life and true LOVE!

Little Mary is named for Our Lady, and how she has always looked up to her and Loved her without reservation! " Hail Mary, Full of Grace, the Lord is with you" and in you! Luke 1:28-30 May you come humbly into the homes of families, and show them how to find Jesus - healing and forgiveness. Through your revealing how to say "yes!" to his saving life... may families find a way to heal and embrace the Truth of Life and Love. Lead them away from the false notion that we need to limit the number of children so that we may have all the "things" of this world. How can possessions come close at all to having others to share this journey with? The gift of life is to be cherished and protected from the evil and misleading influences of this world! May we look to the example of the Holy Family, and allow them to come and be within the heart of our Domestic Church - our families! Jesus, we trust in you! Amen and Halleluia

Bless-bless, Barb

"O God worthy of all praise, the Mother of your Word sings for all eternity the hymn of your praise which she began on earth. By her example and intercession, lead all the Church so to live in this world that we may praise you for ever with her in the next. Grant this in the name of Jesus Christ, your Son, our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God for ever and ever. Amen and Halleluia." Closing prayer of Morning prayer see http://www.magnificat.com/

"Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus." Luke 1:42

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This was taken on Easter Sunday in Colman, South Dakota about 12 years ago!

My dad had done the unthinkable - said yes to being a Deacon in Colman, South Dakota just 60 minutes from our door to their door of the rectory... they had promised to help out as parish administrator of a small town chuch and to help out in the other cluster churches. It was my parents first contact with living the farm life other than second hand through a visit here and there to our farm. Now they were immersed in farm life and loved it! I loved the fact that for 3 years I could jump in the car and go and hang out with them for an afternoon here and there! It was amazing! Soon their 3 years were at an end and we all gathered for a huge family celebration of Easter... we filled the social hall with our huge family... I am the oldest of 11 with over 30 grandkids! The wind of the Holy Spirit was howling as our family gathered in front of the church doors for a family photo... it made us smile to have the wind roaring at us with the fury that only the prairie can muster!

How I love the pictures of the kids in Big Shoes! Adorable!

What is it about the kids walking around the house in mom or dad's shoes? I think that it is a form of flattery... they like to see mom of dad in those shoes so it makes them feel like they are looking like their beloved parent of just acting big like them! I remember my 3rd daughter, Maria, was so in love with her daddy... she would crawl around the bedroom and drape his socks around her neck that she had picked up off the floor just as a token of her love for him. I have a group of pictures in the bathroom that are just of that theme... Wearing mom and dad's shoes. I think that it is about as cute as can be... and also a wonderful tribiute to a child's love and appreciation for their parnets. I have now seen my 3 grandchildren that live closeby and spent much time with us also put on mostly grandpa's shoes which are usually over by the door and walk around in them... I think that a lot of that reflects that love and appreciaion that they have for him and his loving sharing ways with them. Now a generation later I have watched now grandpa LOVE each one of those kids so specially by showering them with the time by taking them along outside or allowing them to sit in his lap and share his meal when he comes in late for a meal... The same scene that I saw with our 5 kids and the resulting love and appreciation and respect! Who knew wearing his shoes was a sign of love and devotion?!?

The absolutely amazing letter that Susan/Little Sister Hallel sent to Nancy about marriage...

Nancy was engaged to Bill Bandzuch on April 10, 2010... We are all so happy for her as she has waited long for her Catholic man to come into her life. She had stood by her values and as a result it was especially sweet and special when she joyfully accepted Bill's proposal! We all gathered in Maria and Joe's back yard to help them celebrate that afternoon minus her sister in KC... Little Sister Hallel. We called her and she spoke to each one of us and even her neice and nephews ! A month later Nancy found this letter from her sister in the mailbox. It was mother's day and she called me to read it to me over the phone. I was blown away and at first thought how crazy it was that a young girl,who had answered the call to remain chaste and be a little sister had so much insight into marriage! But when I realized that she is now the "bride of Christ" it now makes all the sense in the world! I would like to once again share this powerful and wise letter here... Nancy, Look I am writing you a letter... aren't you impressed? Well, you better be because both you and I know how often this happens. I am writing to tell you now extremely excited I am about your engagement to Bill. I have to admit, when I got the news I wasn't really shocked but that night as it sunk in during adoration and the next day during mass I was so happy. My heart overflowed with joy for you. How beautiful to know that you have found your... most cherished cross. While I have never had the experience of being married, from what I hear is that he will truly be your cross. But not your cross as human eyes look at it, as a thing to run away from, as a thing of torture but rather as that which is truly the tree of life. It is only when clinging to the cross that one can truly live, it is the source of all life and of all love. Your marriage to Bill will be this, not something to run away from when it gets hard and when it hurts, but something to hold tight to, especially when it hurts because it is in this that you will find life and love. Know that it is through your marriage that Jesus wants to show you his great love for you and also that the best example that you can give to the world of Christ's love is a marriage lived in truth. So, in other words, know that I am so happy for you and that I love you a whole lot. Know that you are in my prayers during this crazy time of wedding planning; that you may not go crazy but rather learn to love each other better and that you may both have great joy and great peace. Remember to pray for me too! God Bless, Your little Sister Hallel

My sister Mary and I in the barn in our barn clothes when she was here to help us... 1982

I was not pregnant in this picture so it must have been after Nancy was born... Mary was soon to leave us sadly... she had fallen in love with the farm and did a few years later meet her dairy farmer - they married and had a daughter before she died of lymphoma at the age of 28... Some things in life are a mystery.. someday we will understand.

Our daughters, Nancy and Little Sister Hallel/Susan, with John in Lourdes, France.

Little Sister Hallel had just taken the habit of the community of the Lamb and changed her name a few days before this taken in August of 2009... John, Nancy and I had gone to help her celebrate this huge step in her life! John had just been diagnosed with brain cancer and had just completed his second chemo and was better, so within 24 hours we decided that we would fly to France! We visited Lourdes and all bathed in the healing waters which miraculously flow from the spring where St Bernedett was told to dig in the mud! John said that the day was "very good" , and for him that is saying a lot! This past winter Pat and I were in a study group of a book written by Matthew Kelly called Rediscovering Catholicism... this paragraph on p48 is amazing and so wonderfully defends the choice of religious life but also the joys and beauty of this life! I quote: "In every age, there is a small number of men and women who are prepared to turn their backs on popular culture and personal gain to embrace heroically the life Jesus outlines in the Gospels. These people fashion Catholicism into a lifestyle, they listen attentively to the voice of God in their lives, and they passionately pursue their personal adventure of salvation. As a result, they capture the attention and fascinate the imaginations of everyone who crosses their path. Paradoxically, the modern world pities these people because it believes they are missing out on something. Never feel sorry for them. These men and women are the happiest people who ever lived. They are the saints. If the Church is to thrive in this modern era, it depends on men and women like these."

Sitting on the front porch of our home in Minneapolis - me and my friend Marge a few years after..

This was taken a few years after we met while attending welcome week at the U of M in 1970! I did not know at the time that Margie would be responsible for the rest of my life - my meeting and a year later marrying her brother, Pat... I have written many cards to her over the years telling her in every way possible that because of her I have my life. We will celebrate our 32 anniversary this summer, so she has been in my life more than not! Thank you Margie Rose/Raterra Rashana for being such a loyal and true friend... there is no doubt that you were put in my life by our loving forgiving Lord ! Your life growing up on the farm in Southwest Mn is now my life and our children's lives are blessed as a result! How I rejoice at the Lord's fingerprint on my life! Jesus I trust in You! Please bless my dear friend now and forever. Amen and Halleluia!

My sister Mary at the baptism of my daughter, Nancy Anna.. She is Godmother and my dad is baptizing

In 1982 my sister, Mary, came to help me while I was on bedrest with my second daughter... I had high blood pressure and was on bedrest, so Mary came to help me around the house with my 2 year old Ruth and help Pat milk the cows. She was a city girl like me, but fell in love with the farm and we loved having her with us! After Nancy was born on April 2 we asked Mary to be her Godmother. We realized after I was on my feet that she needed to move on, so tearfully she went up to live with my folks in TF. She eventually became a doctor's office nurse and on a blind date met her farmer, Gerry.... he was a dairy farmer in Wisconsin. They married and had a daughrer, Audrey.... When Audrey was 20 mo Mary died of Lymphoma... Gerry is now married to Cathy, who had 5 kids and her husband drowned in the river up there...

Snapping beans with the 5 klids as we are in Taylors Falls visiting my parents in the summer of 92

I was in the thick of bean harvest in my garden when I took my kids to spend some days in the summer with my parents... probably late July of 92... WE picked them and brought them along to snap at my parent's house. We have such wonderful memories of our days spent in Taylors Falls at their remodeled cape cod house up on Angel Hill. Now after 14 years of liiving on Lake Michigan in Manistique in the upper penninsula... my parents have bought a home on the St Croix River in St Croix Falls, Wi which is right across the river from Taylors... I am thrilled that now my parents will be close enough for me to go and see them for the day or for a few days much more often! I loved to go to the big lake, but so missed my parents being closer so that I could spend time with them! Thnak you Lord for this move and may they continue to be a wonderful presence in my life for years to come!

The wedding shower that the friends from church and daily mass put on for Pat and I in my mom's

My friend Marilyn just had given Pat and I wonderful rosaries for a gift... we were both very touched and how much better does it get? To have a Catholic Shower! It was wonderful and the rosary has been huge in our marriage too!

Pat's mom took this picture after milking the cows one morning shortly after we were married.

Typical old camera quality - this was after we were done milking the cows with the baby calves... with dairy calves...they are taken off of their mothers at birth so that you and I can drink the milk...they start out on a big bottle and then graduate to pails of milk. That was one of my jobs out there as well as giving each cow some protein to eat while Pat was moving down the line milking them. I also would help undo the headgate when he was done so that they could go out of the barn. Pat of the time I would sit on an upside down pail and watch him milk the cows and sometimes we would visit. I married a farmer and I found these times special to the point that when Ruth was born - I would bring her over and put her strapped in her infant seat close to the heater in the milk house... she was born Jan 4, 1980... Soon my in laws told me to bring her in the house and put her in the bed with them while I helped Pat... Ruthie got to know her grandparents really well and has early memories of waking up and seeing a certain light fixture over their bed and the warm feelings that go with snuggling with her loving grandparents morning after morning! They even took a movie of her first steps dressed in different outfits day after day that we have never seen! Got to do that someday! The early years were special for many!

Pat comes to visit me in the Cities as things slow down a bit on the farm - cross country skiing...

This picture was taken by my younger sister, Mary... she is now gone for 24 years due to cancer at the age of 28! Pat had come to visit me and we decided for him to wear one of my brother's boots and try cross country skiing for the first time! The boots were too small, but when Pat Verly is motivated to do something... nothing will prevent him! Boy, have I learned that to be a huge part of him after almost 32 years of marriage! He also likes to be rough and tumble and caused this fall to get some bodily contact and to tussle with me! Thank goodness for soft snow to fall in! The dating years were long distance and due to the demands of the farm - we dated maybe once every few weeks when he could certainly not every night or even once a week... at the busy times of the year it was even less, but Pat was very good about calling me on the phone and having long conversations about our lives... he gave me many lessons on the farm life in the middle of the nigh... when he would wake me up after he got in from work! I knew that when that phone would ring that it was my farmer! The thing about farming... similar to the Catholic Church... you never learn it all...there is always more to learn and my Patrick is very intelligent and very interested in it all!

I like to call this picture taken at our first Christmas....married 4 months....THE LOOK OF LOVE!

My mother probably took this picture of Pat and I at our first Christmas at their home in Mpls in 1978... I love it! To capture Pat looking at me with so much love and attention gives me warm feelings and delight! I need to remember this sometimes when I am feeling down about myself and if Pat is disappointed in me that hurts about as badly as anything can... Deep down we love each other no matter the obstacles!

Her name Hallel means Joy- Halleluia.... she reflects that inner joy when she is singing...

Little Sister Hallel has shared that when others say her name they are praising God with the highest of praise and Joy! There are many Hallel psalms including the last 5 psalms - 145 thru 150 and the grand Hallels are in the center of the psalms. the word means tall in French also and Hallel being much taller than most...this is humorous to the community! As a mother I am happy for her choice to be with the community of the lamb to see her happiness and joy... her face lights up in a way that cannot be anything but genuine happiness!

Finally I leave the nest!

I loved being with my family so much that finally after I had become an nurse - 4 years of college and lived at home... got a job at Hennipen County Medical center on the Neurolgoy station... and just went along day to day at home with my family including 10 yonger siblings... One day my mom asked me if I had ever thought of getting my own place... Oh, I tought... that is maybe something I should think about. I then rented a third floor of a house just a block from my parents' home. It was great! Close to my beloved family...yet my own place!

John with Bertha at the State Fair a few years back

Bertha took reserve champion with her calf in the cow-calf division a couple times for John at the State Fair... You can always count on Bertha! 4 H was a wonderful thing for our kids... It was the one time that they learned about livestock on a day to day basis with their dad. They also learned a lot of life skills including how to present themselves in front of people... this has developed into John's future wishes for a life profession... Ag and presenting himself to large groups of people however that all comes together... Lord hear our prayer for a long and bright future for John with you always number one in his life!

Quiet days of growth and reflection on "the farm"

Filled with love and excitement and joy as I studied Catholicism in the quiet of Wisconsin farm country... I expressed it with photoraphy, sketching, caligraphy, reading and marveling at the depth of the Church and all that I will be learning for the rest of my life! I will never come to the end of the learning and growing with OUr Lord and His Mother and all the saints at my side!

Two 5 month losses - both boys born after John - buried at the cemetary

William and John would have been very close in age - about 14 months... I went in for my 5 month check up and the heartbeat couldn't be found... an ultrasound revealed that he had died... I had some scary miscahrriages, so the thought of carrying him til I "lost" him was terrifying to me. I went through a 5 month abortion procedure to deliver my son. I had a postagladin suppository inserted and went through a horrible experience with pain and chills to deliver our tiny son,William. I held him wrapped in a blanket, and Pat and I shed tears at what could have been. It was winter and the ground was frozen...we took him home in a small box and put it in the freezer.. So hard to open it and face him and have the memories and tears come flooding me again. About two years later the same thing unexplainably happened... We lost Robert the same time and way... "It looks like his cord is fatally kinked." It was earth shattering to face another loss of a son and brother for John here on this earth... WE know that we have these children to be united with someday! These and the other 4 lost along the jounrney of our "nest". I feel that they were both the best and the worst years of my life! How I prayed that the Lord would give me one more child after John so that the world would see visible truth that "no, we were't just trying for our boy and that is why we ended up with 5 children! We were open to family!" Yet I am flooded with peace and even joy to know that all our children are with us whether here on earth and in heaven! I have named each of my children in heaven... Christopher lost between Ruth and Nancy, Thomas lost when my sister Mary died of Lymphoma in 1986, Joseph lost before John, William and Robert lost at 5 mo after John, and Mary lost at 3 1/2 mo in 1994. The prayer for them of their mother is a powerful experience for me as I remember them daily and many times feel that they are up there keeping me on the straight and narrow as much as possible. All I know is that I must need a lot of help to have that small spiritual army in heaven....

Journey towards trust

Heading to Sioux Falls two days after Father's day - John had an abnomal MRI - what can it be? Daisys from the ditch, Mary from the give away box at church represents her comforting us at this scarey time... the family pic taken the weekend before in St Paul... pasted in Susan as she was in France - yet we were united in spirit and soon Susan came to be with the family as we discovered that he had a "tumor" in his brain! Jesus we trust inYou!

John and his 4 sisters.... When asked the family he wants someday... "I want 4 girls and a boy!'

John surrounded by his loving older sisters... all 4 of them. "Mom, why don't I have any brothers?" Yet, he admits that he was very spoiled by his sisters! He considers them a blessing and now has brothers... two brother in laws... Paul and Joe... and fraternity brothers at Farmhouse Fraternity at the U of M! Now brothers and sisters are everywhere... and such an amazing support for John on the journey called cancer/healing.

"Eating their chin" out of love - Child for it's mother

Top Ruth being kissed by her daughter, Mary.... Jesus loved his Mother sooooooooo much!

Mary's perspective....

How can we ever suffer as much with our Lord as His Mother did?.... the "sword the pierced her heart"... so that she may support us and hold us close in those times of suffering in our lives... As a mother holds her young and gives it the unconditional nurturing love only a mother gives with all her heart and soul, with no thought to herself....

The five in 1991

Maria's first communion party... the 5 in a row... Ruth, Nancy,Maria, Susan and John

Thankful and prayerful for healing - John is cancer free!

Tuesday at Benediction - John basks in the forgiving loving presence of His Lord... the healing loving Great Physician! Jesus we trust in You! Feb 2010

All my children together in the more simple days!

A watercolor I did after I got an idea from a greeting card showing a mother on the hill with 3 girls and a cow.. made it my own by adding another daughter, a son and my own building site behind us.... someone asked later where Pat, my husband was so I added him on a horse going off to work the farm... Also added my 6 losses in the "cemetary"... it was nice to include all my children in this way.

A therapy painting after 5 losses

A watercolor I did with the 5 "boys" that I lost from 3mo pregnant to 5mo.. I wanted them all to be in some way touching me and that we would be together on a bench in heaven... later added a photo to represent the 6th loss

The five that we are blessed to have with us here... Six losses with us in Heaven - Family of 11!

Ruth, Nancy, Maria, Susan - Little Sister Hallel, and John

Our 9 precious grandchildren, with another one on the way

I got a call today from daughter number 3 that I needed to update my grandchildren picture - the number had doubled since... So here are the 9 together with Hallel when she visited in April. Ruth has 4 with another on the way - Simon age 8, Mary age 7, David soon to be 5, and Rose 13 months. Nancy has Augustine 2, and Bernadette 7 months. Maria has 3 children... Therese 5, David 3, and Patrick 8 months! So this is almost a complete picture except for Maria's two losses due to miscarriage, who are in heaven. We love all life we have been blessed with here and in heaven, and pray for each daily. Guardian Angels watch out for them. Jesus, we Trust in YOU.

New life on the farm

Calving begins in the Feb cold weather... first calf for this mother cow - we call it a first calf heifer

About Me

I am first and foremost a wife and mother. My husband,Pat, is a farmer in SW Minnesota... he is large on the crops and he also has over 100 cows that he calves out. I am a nurse, but was able to take 14 years off to raise my 5 children. I then returned to a hospice nurse position after my son, John, started school. I only work part time and keep busy with my family, a big garden with canning, yard work, involvement with my faith at the Catholic Church, and now grandkids living close by. I had the joy of watching my 3 grandkids while our oldest daughter worked half time as a nurse at the hospital in town. This past summer our lives were rocked when we discovered that our youngest, John, age 20 had a very rare form of brain cancer. Since Father's day... I have become his nurse and between his father and I... we have been with him for many different treatments in Rochester... the cancer is now in remission and we are hopeful to pick up life from here with all of us healthy and looking forward to many years ahead!

An interesting fact about the cows and calves in the pastures... Cow trails...

These two pairs are demostrating how they all walk in the same path or trail...If you look on the other side of the hill above them you can see a cow trail that they use on that side of the pasture. When you go out and walk in the pasture... you will see these paths that are very much used to the point that they are deep and there is no grass growing in them just like a well used people trail gets to be. On a very steep hill there can be teraces of many cow trails along the side where they will go single file like these two moms with their calves following along behind... I did see some of the calves get tired of the slow pace and run ahead, but it is obvious, when you see the trails,that the cows use them for the most part to get from one place in the pasture to another. How my husband loves to see them out there in the lush grass getting fat off of the grass that grows where no crops can due to the up and down land or the creeks that run through them and are also important for the cows and calves to get the water they need just like every living creature! My husband's idea of a romantic evening is to go out on the 4 wheeler or the pickup to look at the cows and calves in the 6 different pastures that we have! The kids have fond memories of going out to look at the cows in the back of the pickup - great vacation/family time!

It doesn't get much cuter than this - Ruth Ida Rose with a forever remembered baby kitty...

Ruth used this on her graduation card - so Ruthie as she was forvere an animal lover. She has a calmness about her that just makes animals comfortable. A few days ago she was out helping her dad and brother and I watched her kids... they both agreed that Ruth is good help out there with the cows and on top of it.. .. she enjoys her time out there... I think that I will watch the kids and Ruth can be out there from now on!

The Net team stops by as they come to the end of their year of serving Catholic Youth!

Our nephew, Sam Cross, has taken a year out of his life to work on the National Evagelical Team - they are Catholic Youth in their late teens and early 20s that travel the country in a van giving retreats to youth everywhere! Their homebase in St Paul, but they have traveled from coast to coast this last year and they themselves are from many places in the country and even a girl from Netherlands! In the picture Sam is standing all the way to the left by John. He lived with us a summer and learned about the farm and was in 4 H and FFA here. He showed cattle and pigs at the county fair and then went up to the State Fair with his projects and then worked in the Miracle of Birth barn for a couple of summers. Sam is a special nephew! He also has done many TEC retreats after he said yes to our request that he make a retreat and absolutely fell in love with TEC! Now he has taken it a step further in serving on this traveling retreat team with his guitar and wonderful joyful spirit... touching many youth along with the 10 youth that are on the team with him. Just before this picture was taken... Sam had given them rides back and forth on the loader to "see" the cows and farm scenes... Sitting to the far right of the tractor in the loader bucket is a girl from Minnesota named, Sarah. We struck up a conversation in the kitchen while I was cleaning up after the meal that we had shared... She started the conversation by asking me if I had always lived in Mn... I thought that I would wow her by starting off by saying; "No, actually I was born in Boston, Mass!" Her reply; "So was I!" That was a start of the most amazing give and take between us! We share so much in common and mostly I thought that she was probably me about 40 years ago when I was a new Catholic and so in love with EVERYTHING about the Catholic Church! She shared that her family of 4 girls and one boy and both of her parents converted from Episcopal to Catholic and why would you belong anywhere but the True Church!? ! Wow! I was blown away to meet someone on this long journey I have been on that is at the same place I was at that age! All of these youth are so amazing and I hope and pray and am really confident that they have touched deeply and positively many youth on their trek across the country! I asked the girl from Netherlands about the Catholic Church in her country... I have heard that it barely exists any more and she agreed that only the old attend church and otherwise those that are Catholic like her go with their families at EAster and Christmas... her friend told her that she would do the NET as she had done ahead of her and now a young person is returning to this country without God... filled with love and knowledge of her Church - Jesus and His Mother - It was a wonderful hour and a half and gave me so much hope for the Church and how the grassroots are strong and spreading our faith far and wide! Thank you Lord for all the work that is taking place in your church and please continue to use me and all those that are listening to and answering your call! Amen and Halleluia!

John the actor and his love of the stage and being in front of people - It was a fun ride!

This was John doing the "She thinks my tractor is attractive" skit for Arts In at the county fair in 4H a few years back... It is just so fun to see him in his element and it always amazed us to see how relaxed he was up there. Not like any of the rest of us! Now he hopes to take that love of the stage and put it along with his Ag background into some type of a job for his future... It will certainly be interesting to follow along and now with a year overcoming brain cancer and all that has meant for him... it has certainly taken him to a deeper and more compassionate place... We all await what the future will bring... Thank you John for all the FUN we have had following you as you share the joy with us on stage! It has been a fun ride! Jesus we know that you are in control of John's life and have a wonderful plan just for him! Jesus we trust in You!

Oh happy day! Another fun time with John...

First with a talent show at the Catholic School doing...Oh happy day from Sister Act and then again for 4 H share the fun... Finally with chior robes that we found at the Thrift store and with his sister, Maria, and cousins, Sam and Phil Cross... we enjoy the fun at Christmas camp. John even put it on for Easter when we went to visit Maria in the monastery. We shared a meal through the enclosure and John did the entertainment for all of us by putting on a chior robe and lip sincing.... Oh happy day for all of us... it was great entertainment that was good over and over!

He who follows me will not walk in darkness but will have the light of life. Jn 8:12

I came across this inside of a long letter that our daughter, Maria, had written daily to share her experience with us as she went from a Poor Clare Monastery in Sauk Rapids, Mn to one close to Washington DC... It was so hard to think that she could go so far away to a cloistered monastery... where we would have to go and see her there and never get a hug as she would be in the "enclosure". It was to the point of her entering and the mother superior asked her to write a letter saying that this was the right thing for her to do... she couldn't write it and was back home! We were shocked and amazed! After saying goodbye to her life... she returned and embraced it! I will never forget her out helping put the cows and calves out to pasture and saying how wonderful it was to be out there... Now that was a miracle! So often on this journey we have been weak, depressed, scared and lost... The image of Jesus picking up the weak lost lamb is so often coming to me... This is wonderful to be able to share here with all of you that are upholding us in prayer!

A miracle! We make it to France in the midst of John's brain cancer and after a brain biopsy!

One of my favorite pictures from France...Susan helping John walk through the rain down a path at Saint-Pierre. They have always had a close relationship... Susan was 3 1/2 years older than John... I lost two pregnancies between them and it was never kept from the kids... we all grieved together at the losses. Susan was thrilled with her little brother from day one. She was constantly caring for him and watching out for him. We have a family story that Susan saved John's life... I will save that for a later date to share. John discovered in France that he could walk at a normal speed leaving his walker behind and having someone under his weak side. I think that he enjoyed the closeness also. We were in France and it was totally due to prayer!

The way of the cross - Cancer strikes our 20 year old son!

John at Lourdes with his two sisters... LS Hallel in the habit she had just received as a new member of the community of the Lamb and Nancy. From the back as they support their brother it looks like he is on the cross. After the news about two months earlier that he had brain cancer and then the ataxia on his left side as a result of the biopsy they had to do to diagnose it... It certainly a cross like no other we could have ever imagined! Beyond our wildest nightmares! Just the day before we left for France he was able to get to the bathroom by himself for the first time! We could go to France to see his sister join the community, and go to Lourdes and bath in the miraculous and healing waters under the watchful care of our most Blessed Virgin Mother of God... Mary Most Holy! John truly turned from a heavy heart to one of hope at this point in the journey.

Little Sister Hallel here for Thanksgiving and spent a week with John.

A group shot over at Ruth and Paul's place... Little Sister Hallel - Susan here for a week. Took John back and forth to radiation, and we then had a family Thanksgiving up in the Cities with her other two sisters that live in ST Paul... Getting ready to head back to Kansas City. That is where she is living for the next year in the only community here in the US... Community of the Lamb... pictured are from left to right... Paul Lanoue, Ruth Lanoue, Little Sister Hallel, her dad Pat and John Verly. In front Mary with her kitty Purrrrrrs.

The two Davids...

Great Grandma with both Davids after Sunday mass in her sunroom- Feb 21,2010

Our prayers rise like incense before you, Our Lord and Our God!

Benediction on Tuesday night.... Giving our Lord honor and praise and worship! We are in awe of you coming to us in the humble form of bread... as it is transformed into your Body... food that gives us the strength to follow your example and embrace the cross in our lives! Jesus we trust in You! We honor and adore you now and forever! Amen