Documenting my evolution into a crazy cat-less spinster.

It's rainy and a bit dreary today, but it's Friday so all is forgiven. My abs are tender and achy from yoga on Wednesday.

During Lunch I have to drop off some pictures at a one hour photo place so I have something to work on tonight at the Scrap Shack. A group of us try to get together regularly, but I don't think we've met for about six months. I left off after Christmas 2004. I didn't take as many pictures in 2005. I've selected 125 files that will take me through November 2005. I won't get that far tonight, but you never know.

Okay, here are my ten random tunes for this morning. The rules are simple, set your iPod to shuffle and list the first ten songs that play. No skipping for vanity, no matter how odd or embarrassing the output.

Except The Buzzcocks and Papa Chubby this is a pretty mellow set. Pretty fitting with the weather.

Fav tune - More Than This. 10,000 Maniacs is pretty much going to win out any time it appears on this list.

Fav album - Sentimentality wins again today with The Best of the Statler Brothers. This album on tape was a constant on long car trips of my childhood. My sister and I would sing along, play clapping games and ask for it again and again.

Live - Papa Chubby at House of Blues (Opening act)Your Winter - Sister Hazel (10 Things I Hate About You Soundtrack)

I had a private yoga practice with Sarah last night. There was a two week gap since my last practice. I was scared I would have lost most of the strength I've been building up. Instead it was one of my strongest practices yet. I did get out of breath very quickly during sun salutations, but I'm not sure it was any worse than usual.

My dolphin felt solid. Usually I'm shaking and have to fight collapse by the time I lower into child's pose. Last night I could have gone longer and was in total control on the way down. My downward-facing dogs felt easy too. Even my elbow-to-knee ab work was better than usual. Yea!!!

This is not to say I don't feel it today. I really worked my hips, lower back and abs. I think once a week is good for me right now. I might have been pushing it a bit with two practices every week.

Now that it is lighter at night and warming up, I plan to take some walks around my neighborhood after work. Probably. We'll see how well I move from intention to action on this one.

It is my Dad's 70th birthday today. This feels old to me. Maybe this is because he doesn't seem to be taking very good care of himself lately. He has gained weight and seems uncomfortable in his own skin. I saw briefly him a couple weeks ago and he looked unhealthy, his hands were mottled and blue-ish.

I'm been thinking about my Mom more than usual since Saturday. April Fools Day isn't a goofy semi-holiday anymore, it's the one month warning for the anniversary of my mother's death. On May 1, 2006 it will be four years since she died. So until that date I will be reminded of the grisly countdown to her death.

On Saturday I thought it was three years, but my sister reminded me that it was four now. This just seems impossible. I miss her. I have many regrets about our relationship. She was only 60 years old. What a horid waste.

Watching my Dad's health deteriate with neglect is hard. I see him behaving like I did for years. There is nothing I can do for him. I'm just learning how to take care of myself. I want him to be happy and healthy. I'm beginning to understand how hard it was for my Mom to watch me suffer with my eating. She tried so many things to help me, but there was nothing she could do. I had to want to change and I wasn't ready.

My birthday wish for Dad is that he find the willingness to take care of himself and be happy.