Discussing social plans when everyone is not included

by Juidth Robins
(Chandler, AZ)

There's one woman who will discuss in details social plans and outings in which I am not included. She will show photos of these outings to me and go on and on about what she did with these friends. I would never discuss something in which a woman in the group was not invited. How do I handle this?

Comments for Discussing social plans when everyone is not included

May I assume this happens often? If so, it can be quite uncomfortable and hurtful. On the other hand, if this is a singular event, then you have very little ability to effect a change.

So let's assume it is recurring for the sake of this response.

This behavior is rude and insensitive. This person is either quite unaware of the effect of her behavior on others or she is purposefully trying to make you uncomfortable and/or hurt your feelings. In either case you have a few choices for your own response, each one is acceptable etiquette. 1. Speak up. Interrupt her to say you do not know any of the people involved and ask her to tell you about them in more detail so you too can enjoy her recitations. This will give her notice that you know what she is doing. 2. You can excuse yourself from the group while she goes on about these happenings. 3. You can take her aside, asking her why she continues to do this in front of you or simply let her know how it makes you feel.

In any case, if you are friends then you should be able to work it out.