Category: Pets & Animals

(I have two pet rabbits, neither particularly small. They’ve recently had trouble maintaining their weight but there’s no signs of illness and they’re eating well, so my guess is the newer rabbit brought worms with her and passed them to my buck. I pick up some worming medicine from the pet store which needs to be fed to them for a course of a few days, but they only have one pack; I return on their delivery day for more.)

Me:*to store manager* “Hi, I need some medicine from the cabinet.”

Manager: “Sure.” *he opens it* “What do you need?”

Me: “Three packs of [medicine], please.”

Manager: “What do you need it for?”

(I explain about the likelihood of worms and the fact that they’d only had one pack last time.)

Manager: “Oh, so you only need one pack, then.”

Me: “What? No, I need three more.”

Manager: “Once you’ve given them the tablets it covers them for a year.”

Me: “Uh, it’s not tablets. And it’s a course; if you look on the side of the box, it tells you how much you need to give the rabbit. One pack would be enough for a rabbit under 2.5kg; mine are 3kg and 6kg, so I need more.”

Manager: “That’s not right. It’s one tablet, and they’re fine for a year.”

Me: “But… no, that’s not what it says on the box at all. If you’d just look-”

Manager: “That’s how it is for dogs.”

Me: “I… what? I’m not trying to deworm a dog.”

Manager: “It works for dogs!”

Me: “I have RABBITS. Just- just look at the box!”

(He finally glanced at it, then grumpily gave me the medicine I wanted, all the while muttering about how it’s only once a year, how it is for dogs, etc. The manager of a pet store that actually sells rabbits and animal medicines could not comprehend that dogs and rabbits could possibly need different medical care. For the record, after the course of medicines their weight stabilised nicely!)

(I’m at the front desk to check out a regular customer who has a Kuvasz, a very large and furry white dog, of which I am very fond. The owner and I have spoken on several occasions. At the time it is changing from summer to fall and the dogs are shedding quite a bit. Keep in mind I have a pretty thick New England accent.)

(My girlfriend recently took a week vacation to Hawaii with her mother. Before she left I taught her to pronounce the name, in Hawaiian , of the state fish commonly known as the reef trigger fish. The Hawaiian name is notoriously difficult to pronounce for non-locals. While in front of a large tank of fish with a tour guide…)

(I’m working in a supermarket bakery that’s attached to a deli. Even though we’re considered separate departments, the bakery often helps the deli with simple counter customer service like slicing meats and cheeses, or making sandwiches when needed. I’m currently serving one of my favourite regular customers, an older guy who’s a police officer and always comes by at the end of his shift for sandwiches to take home for himself and his wife to have for lunch. I’m mildly complaining about our monthly department inventory while I make his sandwiches.)

Me: “It wouldn’t be so bad if the equipment was more reliable. [Manager] has been here since four am and she’s going to be late getting out because the tag scanner they gave her malfunctioned, so she has to start all over.”

Officer: “Oh, I would hate that. You think that’s bad, try inventorying a police department. Every. Single. Bullet. It’s not so bad because with everyone doing it, it gets done quicker, but it’s very tedious.”

Me: “Ugh, that’s awful. Do you have to inventory evidence, too?”

Officer: “Well, not me, but yeah, that needs to be closely inventoried regularly.”

Me:*obviously joking* “Hmm, well, if anything really cool comes in, like a spare head or crowbar, can you hook me up?”

Officer:*nodding and grinning* “Obviously!”

(At this point, I notice one of our younger employees looking at me in shock, clearly not realizing we’re just joking around.)

Me: “What?! [Officer] and I have an understanding. I give him extra peppers on his sandwiches, he hooks me up with cool crime swag and doesn’t ask too many questions about why my back yard is so bumpy and my GPS shows me on so many long, deserted roads in the middle of the night.”

Officer:*nods, acting serious, and taps the side of his nose conspiratorially with a wink*

(Earlier in the day, housekeeping found a stuffed dinosaur toy in one of the guest rooms. The guest who lost it called and said they’d be in to get it in a few days, so we have it behind the desk. I’m working behind the desk with another coworker.)

Coworker:*points to the toy* “What is that thing?”

Me: “A triceratops.”

Coworker: “Really?”

Me: “Yeah. See the horns and the fan around its neck? That means it’s a triceratops.”