experiment in vitality: a choice you make to be true to yourself. Learn more.

I knew it was wrong to be racist towards black people from a young age. We learned about Martin Luther King, Jr. in elementary school, and he was a hero of mine. Although I lived in a small town in the South, I didn’t witness a lot of white-black incidents because there were virtually no black people there. There were only three black people in my high school, and, yes, they were all related.

So, I grew up thinking that the Civil Rights movement was a victory, and I lived in a mostly post-racism world. I also believed myself to not be racist.

To be perfectly honest, sometimes I worry that what I write about just sounds stupid to other people, especially when I am having fun writing (ouch). But I really like what author Shauna Niequist asks: What do you love even though no one else does?

I love sassy ladies, silliness, and art--high, low and everything in between. I love dogs. I love speaking candidly with friends about periods and poop.

I could focus on cooler interests: being outdoorsy or building our house. I value those things but they are not the stuff of my everyday imagination or my actual personality.

I comfort myself with the thought that no matter what I really love, there is someone else who thinks that is stupid.

I had wanted to dye my hair crazy colors forEVER, but I have always seemed to have school or a job that prevented me. When I did The Artist Way, making my hair crazy colors came up again and again in my morning pages. Coloring your hair is a pretty low-risk experiment, yet it felt somehow scary, like I was breaking the rules. When I saw bright hair dye for sale around Halloween, I decided it was time!

It all starts with honest self-assessment and self-awareness. We must honestly look at what we are need or what may be missing, take an honest look at how our work is and isn’t suiting those needs, and being open to the possibility of doing and working a different way.

I decided to interview my dear friend Erin Deasy because she constantly surprises me with her badassery. Erin has started two small businesses, lived in Taiwan for five years teaching English, and made it back to America where she is now working happily in solar sales. Recently, I have been curious about Erin’s online business called EcoEarthwares…

One time a few years ago, my roommate came home to find me writhing white-faced in agony on my bed and asked if she should take me to the hospital.

Nope, thanks. Just cramping.

It was debilitating and anxiety-inducing. Besides the physical agony, it was embarrassing as hell. You can’t hide that level of pain, and people are inquisitive. So several days a month, being in public got awkward.

I thought I would be starting with a blank slate, but no. The app showed me how much (or rather how little) I have been moving. It was a big WTF moment for me. I knew I had been taking it easy lately, but I was aghast by that little bar graph.

To be fair, it’s how much I have moved while having my phone on me, so I had probably moved slightly more. However, even adjusting for that, I had been way too sedentary. I immediately felt motivated to get my step count up.

Experimenting takes off the pressure that makes us feel like imposters and failures for not knowing what the heck we're doing with our lives. It's grace and play and everything good and healthy for your soul, so I sure want you to have it. I hope this helps!

Step 1: Identify an area in your life in which you want to experiment...

When the #MeToo movement arrived, I was offline. I assumed it would die out within a few days when something else came up for everyone to angst about online.

Instead, #MeToo has grown and started a cultural shift so grand and overdue and amazing that it still feels too good to be true. Still, instead of celebrating, I felt disgust. I had to finally sit down and journal about this to try to figure out why.

Because I was experimenting, I let myself just go. This was so fun, and so novel, and so different than my normal stuck “what-should-I-do-with-my-time-but -I-don’t-want-to” inner turmoil that I was immediately hooked.

Somehow, without me noticing it, the war between “should” and “want to” dissolved inside of me.

While shopping at Goodwill for a tea set, I ran into a creamer and a dish with a rose pattern on them that shocked me. It was the same pattern as my plastic tea set as a child! Suddenly, I remembered that I used to love having tea parties as a kid. I had completely forgotten about this.

On my trip home, I got to see some of my oldest, best friends. They have daughters now, a tiny new 12-week-old baby and a clever, magical 8-year-old. My heart stretched and stretched, trying to figure out how to even hold the upwelling of love I felt. I considered the lives they could live, all the possible futures that could come to be.

At night, my soul kept rolling a new question over and over: “What do I want to leave behind?”

I want my thoughts to be transformed from reactionary snippets to deep meaning by having enough quiet processing time in my body, in my soul, before I share them. I feel protective of this alchemy that daily blogging and 24-hour news and tweeting just don't allow for.

I want you to know that as all encompassing as your depression is, as long as it has haunted and tormented you, it still can change. With the right therapist, the right medication, the right changes, the right something. I don’t know what the right thing is for you. But I know it exists. It is out there. It is worth trying and trying and just barely showing up for another day in case that’s the day the right something comes along.

The world was already kinda overwhelming to me before Trump. However, my conscience could not abide to sit on the sidelines anymore. I decided be an imperfect, intermittent half-asstivist. I pick action items and events, put them on my calendar and SHOW UP. And I cut myself all kinds of slack.

I noticed every time someone mentioned dancing, I felt longing. When I finally realized what I was doing, I said, "Hey, I could dance." I stopped, searched Meet-Up for dancing, and found THE MOST AMAZING GROUP EVER.