FEAR: Alan Pardew says he feared the sack after headbutting Hull City midfielder David Meyler [GETTY]

Pardew starts a three-match stadium ban this weekend when the Magpies visit rock-bottom Fulham and is also banned from the touchline for another four games.

But the Toon chief thought he may be fired after his unsavoury spat with Meyler during Newcastle's 4-1 win a fortnight ago.

Instead, club owner Mike Ashley issued him with a final warning and fined him ??100,000 but assured him his job was safe.

"It was a relief when I was told I wouldn't lose my job," said Pardew, who will not appeal against the decision of the FA's independent panel who handed out their punishment after a two hour hearing at Wembley on Tuesday.

"We all make mistakes and mine was in front of millions people.

“I regret it. I need to come out of this a better manager. It has been a very difficult time”

Newcastle United manager Alan Pardew

"I regret it. I need to come out of this a better manager. It has been a very difficult time."

Pardew, who will travel with his squad to the capital tomorrow before watching the game at Craven Cottage on a video stream from their overnight hotel, wrote a letter of apology to Hull manager Steve Bruce, which he asked to be passed on to Meyler.

"I'd just like to reiterate my apology to David and Steve Bruce, and fans up and down the country, but particularly our own," he added.

"They have been fantastic as has the support from Mike.

"I shouldn't have got involved in the situation. It was stupid."

Pardew will address his players on Saturday lunchtime before handing over managerial duties to No. 2 John Carver.

"The gameplan is already in place and John knows it inside out," he said.

"I have 100 per cent trust in him while our captain Fabricio Coloccini is back and he will be very important too."