Stop the presses! French researchers just released data on a 15-year-old study they conducted—proving women really don’t need to wear a bra to avoid back pain, stretching and loss of breast form.

French researchers followed 330 women over the course of 15 years who were asked to forgo wearing a bra. What they found, by measuring with slide rulers and calipers (think pinch and measure) was that, on average, a 7 millimeter lift was achieved over 15 years by not strapping the sisters in. Apparently, according to these sassy French scientists, gravity is indeed NOT the enemy. Who knew?

I am calling BS on this study. Have they never thumbed through a National Geographic magazine? Have they never watched the Discovery Channel? Have they not SEEN what gravity does to unholstered breasts over time? I wish I could show you, but alas, this is not that kind of site.

I don’t know about you, but I feel it a bit disingenuous to hear French researchers tell people to eschew the practice of wearing what they call a soutien-gorge (bra). I envision the sexiest of lingerie to have had its origin on the revered runways of Paris. Now they are bursting my bubble and telling the world what was once necessary is now obsolete? I feel like I am being punked!

Critics speculate this was a colossal waste of taxpayer time and someone might have to answer for 15 years of study on this issue. Like I said, National Geographic. I bet not one of those bare-chested women photographed in that pristine publication ever wore a breast restraining device. I am sure I don’t need to remind you of how that story ends. Droopy and saggy.

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