The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter, It
isn't just one of your holiday games; You may
think at first I'm as mad as a hatter When I tell
you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.

First of all, there's the name that the family
use daily, Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or
James, Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill
Bailey--
All of them sensible everyday names.

There
are fancier names if you think they sound
sweeter, Some for the gentlemen, some for the
dames:
Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter-- But
all of them sensible everyday names.

But I tell
you, a cat needs a name that's particular, A name
that's peculiar, and more dignified,
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?

Of names of this kind, I can give you a
quorum, Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or
Coricopat,
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum-
Names that never belong to more than one cat.

But
above and beyond there's still one name left
over, And that is the name that you never will
guess; The name that no human research can
discover-- But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will
never confess.

When you notice a cat in profound
meditation, The reason, I tell you, is always the
same: His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the
thought of his name: His ineffable effable
Effanineffable Deep and inscrutable singular Name.