Guests staying at the Damson Dene Hotel in England's Lake District are in for a shock if they reach for the ubiquitous Bible for solace. The hotel has replaced the Good Book in the bedside tables of its 40 guest rooms with E.L. James' erotic blockbuster Fifty Shades of Grey. (Source: HappyPlace.com)

Officer's helpful tip

"While I was doing my driving test in a heavy truck, the traffic officer gave me some interesting advice," says Paul Radley. "As I approached a pedestrian crossing in central Christchurch, he suggested holding back a little, but keep the truck rolling. 'The pedestrians move a little faster if you keep moving,' he said."

Multi-tasking traffic cop

"When I went for my driver's licence, the traffic cop got in and gave me directions to a local supermarket car park. She told me to wait, and came back half an hour later with a trolley full of groceries. Then she made me open the boot and take her back to her house, then back to the station."

Satirising Sideswipe

"In 1971, I went for my practical test for both car and motorbike," writes Mike. "There were five other people waiting to be tested and it was busy, so three went in the car with the MOT man and I drove the motorbike, with a regular pillion and one sitting on the handlebars. After a couple of kilometres, the car in front stopped suddenly and I hit the back of it, with all three of us flying into the air! The car was a convertible with no seatbelts and only the MOT man managed to stay in the car. As luck would have it, the three motorbike riders all landed in the three vacant car seats and the three car passengers landed in some long grass none the worse for wear. The motorbike was leaning up against the car undamaged, so the three car people jumped on that and away we went. We all got our licences and the MOT man was so impressed we all went out for afternoon tea and had lashings of scrummy food and ginger pop. Afterwards, I walked the four miles home through the snow in my bare feet, stopping only to warm them in cow pats. No wait, that's another story ..."

German steam valve

Germans now have an easy way to let off steam - a swearing hotline. The Schimpf-los (swear away) phone service lets frustrated folk give a four-letter blast to a willing recipient for €1.49 a minute. (Source: Reuters)