This blog has been archived. For further personal blogging by Michelle Klein-Hass, please visit her at http://msgeek.livejournal.com/ .

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Richie update

OK, here's an update on Richie.

Apheresis (stem cell collection) started last week, with one collection on Friday and one collection yesterday. Friday's collection got 1.2 million cells...not great, but not bad. The doctor suggested an afternoon collection the next time, giving the Neupogen time to work some more before collection because Richie would give himself the shot every day after breakfast. That was damn good advice, because the collection yesterday got 18 million (yes, I'm putting my pinky to my mouth when I type this) stem cells. All that in one swell foop. Amazing. Lots of celebrating. The target was 9 million, with 6 as a bare minimum. Now we have enough for the second in the Tandem transplant if that's going to be part of the protocol.

Richie has been scheduled to go into CoH Helford Research Hospital on 9/7/2007, with a consultation the day before. I'm going to have to take a day off from school to attend the consultation.

The tales of hard-fought success with SCTs I have been reading on the Myeloma mailing list have been comforting to me, although sometimes scary considering the kind of side effects people have had to battle. I am still of two minds about this, considering how well Richie's disease has been managed under the Velcade/Doxil/Dex protocol, and all the horrible experiences some of you have had. While I haven't heard of people dying of the procedure (I'm sure there are a few in the literature) it sounds like some of you wished you were dead through the process.

On Richie's side are two things: his relative youth and his baseline health outside of the MM. He's 54 years old, and likely will still be in Helford for his 55th birthday on the 21st. It's sort of like saying "Other than that nasty business, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?" but he is in excellent health otherwise. Cardio's great, Pulmonary's great, no other diseases, and right now he's getting back into walking and has been working with a physical therapist. He's been in a pain-free period where he hasn't had to use opiates.

I'm worried. I'm not looking forward to the separation. He's looking forward to it, in spite of all the potential for danger, misery and possibly even death. And once Richie Hass has decided he's going to do something, he won't be dissuaded. He's a stubborn cuss.

I don't want to lose him. However, on the Buddhist tip, one must remember that all things are impermanent. The anxiety is killing me. But I need to let him do this, and prepare myself to let go of him if something goes wrong. "I want a chance to get healthy" is his refrain. He's willing to take this very big calculated risk. I suppose I need to be supportive and just let him do it. But it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.