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Friday, January 12, 2007

Boring Saturday Afternoons Coming

One man caught on a barbed wire fenceOne man he resistOne man washed up on an empty beachOne man betrayed with a kiss.

I fear that we are nearing what I call the “sports abyss” in that there is nothing really on TV worth watching on the weekends. Football is ending and even that is starting to get really boring, basketball is well, basketball, and hockey is great if you’re at the Xcel Energy Center but it sucks until the playoffs. And baseball, baseball is still weeks away from worthless spring training.

So what the hell is there to do on a Saturday afternoon other than chores or errands?

I’m not going to plop my ass down and watch a UNC/Clemson matchup because I just don’t care about college basketball unless the calendar reads “March”.

Football and baseball are my only saving graces and once there are over, it’s just dullsville from here on out.

Baaah

Last week I went 3-1 on my playoff picks thanks to that god damn overachieving Indianapolis Colts team

Indianapolis @ BaltimoreI watch a game in Indianapolis and think, “what a bunch of pansy fans sitting there in their white turtlenecks and short sleeve shirts in that indoor thingy.” but then I realize how much us Minnesota fans must look in our indoor thingy and then immediately drop my head and start kicking any dirt that’s around my shoes. Good thing this game is in Baltimore and good thing that Baltimore is finally playing instead of those god awful (chiefs, jets, cowboys, giants…take your pick). With Indianapolis the only weaknesses they have are running defense and the possibility of going against a great defense.Whoops, the Ravens actually have a decent (not great) running back and they’re the most balanced and dominant defensive team in the football. This is the classic game that Peyton Manning loses and one of the only things the NFL has going for them now is that the colts are the classic Buffalo Bills team that just can’t make it over the hump.Ravens 27 Colts 19

Philadelphia @ New OrleansThis game seems like a September game in which the whole country ignores except for New Orleans and Philadelphia. This time around New Orleans actually has a couple reasons to watch with their whole tragedy deal and how Drew Brees can’t do anything wrong but it’s still a yawner. Until the NFC actually has a team that can show a little dominance--I’m just not going to care. Philly has a nice team and…they can play some defense but so what?Saints 23 Eagles 17

Seattle @ ChicagoUgh the most worthless number one seed against a team that…I don’t know. Seattle showed me nothing last week when they let the Cowboys trip all over themselves for the loss and Chicago is boring. How can a number one seed have quarterback controversies without one clear good quarterback. Usually you have a mediocre quarterback with some rookie hot shot coming off the bench but that is definitely not the case with the bears. They have Brian fucking Griese on the bench. I have to say Seattle because I’ve watched the bears luck ‘em ou this year.As Denny said, “They are who we thought they were!”Seahawks 20 Bears 9

New England @ San DiegoDamn did CBS ever luck out these last couple years by having an actual awesome conference to broadcast. Clearly the anticipated entertainment with one of these games is worth about 5 NFC games no matter who plays. I like this matchup a lot. You have the one dominant team this year in the Chargers playing host to one of the forgotten teams in the Patriots whom still have only lost 4 games this year. God Vs. TomlinsonBeantown Vs. zoo town (?)Brady Vs. RiversPoise Vs. Revenge