Last year I did an April Fools joke on the blog that worked rather well. This year I’ve come to the conclusion that recent events have made it completely impossible to come up with anything remotely stupid enough to be believable.

The word ‘snodchortle’ doesn’t actually exist. In fact I’ve no idea why I mentioned it really. I just invented it to see how long it is before it turns up in Google search results with a link at the top which says “Buy snodchortle on ebay now.”

Years ago I did this blog post along the lines of "If you aren't finding shelfish particularly relaxing you may have bought the 'Little Book of Clam' by mistake." Every since then I've been tickled by the way you can swap two letters round and get a lovely, absurd, result. Then, in the Programming 2 Lecture today one of the students had a "Keep Calm and Carry On" T-Shirt, and I knew how I was going to spend my lunch hour......

The year is 2054. Brunettes have taken power. Anyone daring to be different is ruthlessly hunted down by the state. This is the story of a band of freedom fighters who, armed only with hair colouring and bleach, take a stand against oppression. Working title: “Illegally Blonde”

In a world where outrageous has become the normal, this film tells the story of one man’s fight for the right to be boring. Working title: “Legally Bland”.

This hard hitting documentary tells the story of the only officially licenced, Ian Fleming approved 007 impersonator. Working title: “Legally Bond”.

I've spent the entire day marking First Year exams. It does funny things to your brain. Next time I'm in charge of an exam I'm going to make sure that one of us turns up dressed as a Red Indian, one of us as a construction worker, one as a motorcycle cop, one as a cowboy and so on. When we are asked what we are doing I'll just say...

I was watching the Olympic opening ceremony last week when I believe I uncovered a great truth. If I suddenly vanish after this post, and it is mysteriously erased (well, you won't be able to read it, but anyway) then you will know that I have uncovered one of the greatest secrets of the age.

I think the Olympics is actually secretly run by the Walt Disney corporation. Consider the facts:

Olympic rings, or Mickey Mouse Ears?

Similar handwriting, eh?

Just think of it. All that TV time, advertising, merchandising, how can they not be doing it. I think the whole thing is actually being filmed in a big warehouse in Florida, with Pixar doing the animation for the outside shots. Every night a team of crack scriptwriters gets together and decides who wins each medal. It makes perfect sense. I just hope they are going to use the same approach for 2012.

Whilst looking in the fridge for my ration of strawberry flavoured milk I noticed that we had some "Thousand Island Dressing" in there. I started to wonder (always a bad thing) how the name came about:

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Rob Miles is technology author and educator who spent many years as a lecturer in Computer Science at the University of Hull. He is also a Microsoft Developer Technologies MVP. He is into technology, teaching and photography. He is the author of the World Famous C# Yellow Book and almost as handsome as he thinks he is.