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Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Anger is a normal, human emotion. It is intense. Everyone gets angry and has a right to his/her anger. The TRICK is managing your anger POSITIVELY. And in return the TREAT will be a POSITIVE, productive life.

The first step in anger management is to get to know your anger by recognizing its symptoms. Breaking down the symptoms into physical, emotional, and behavioral, can be helpful.
Here are some following questions you can ask yourself.

Physical:
Do you grit your teeth?
Do you get a headache?
Do you get sweaty palms?
Do you get dizzy?
Do you get red-faced?
Do you get a stomachache?

Emotional:
Do you feel like running away?
Do you get depressed?
Do you feel guilty/
Do you feel resentment?
Do you become anxious?
Do you feel like lashing out?

Behavioral:
Do you cry, yell, or scream?
Do you use substances?
Do you get sarcastic?
Do you lose sense of humor?
Do you become abusive?
Do you withdraw?

If you responded "yes" to most of these questions, then it is time to work on your anger management skills. Give one of our counselors a call today, we are here to help at 954-800-0108.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

According to relationship expert, John Gottoman, the 4 horsemen may have the opportunity to take over your marriage or relationship. They make there presence known in this order: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.

Horseman 1: Criticism. The big difference between a complaint and a criticism is this. A compliant only addresses the specific action at which your spouse failed. A criticism adds on some negative words about your partner's character or personality.

Horseman 2: Contempt Sarcasm and cynicism are types of contempt. Other examples would be name-calling, eye-rolling, mockery, and hostile humor. This is poisonous and leads to more conflict.

Horseman 3: Defensiveness. This is a way of really blaming your partner. It really escalates the conflict to another level.

Horseman 4: Stonewalling. Eventually a partner begins to tune the other person out, which is arrival of the 4th horseman at it's best. A partner disengages from the conversation or fight and also avoids his/her marriage.

If you have one or all of the four horseman in your marriage or relationship, you may need to seek professional help. Please give one of our professional counselors at call 954-800-0108.

References:
John Gottman & Nan Silver (1999): The Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work

Friday, October 5, 2012

Learning to relax and soothe yourself is very important. When you are relaxed, your body naturally feels better and functions in a healthier way. This also allows for an individual to make better, healthier choices. Here are some simple relaxation and soothing activities that utilize the five senses of smell, sight, hearing, taste, and touch.

Smell: Bake your favorite food that has a pleasing smell, such as brownies.
Buy fresh-cut flowers and put them in your house or office.
Hug someone whose smell makes you feel calm.

Vision: Find a place or picture that is soothing for you to look at, like a park or local museum.
Draw or paint a picture that is pleasing to you.

Touch: Take a hot or cold shower and enjoy the water falling on your skin.
Play with a pet.

There are many more relaxation and soothing techniques that can be utilized with the five senses. These are just a few to get you started. If you feel that you need more relaxation in your life and don't have the necessary tools, please contact our Licensed Clinical Social Workers at 954-800-0108.