Flirty, Cheesy, Witty, and Funny

How I Met Your Mother Pick Up Lines by Barney

Barney Stinson is the top womanizer in the TV hit show How I Met Your Mother. Below we have compiled all of the best pick up lines quoted Barney Stinson from the TV series. They are cheesy and funny, and maybe they might just work for you. Take advantage of these pick up lines out to help you get woman just like Barney did on the show.

Barney Stinson How I Met Your Mother Pick Up Lines

When I get sad, I stop being sad.. and I be awesome instead. True Story.

This.. what you're doing here - is giving me a de-rection

I feel like I've done so much good I have a "soul boner"

Barney alllllwaaaysss gets the yes!

I physically cannot take bad pictures. I don't know why. Just ask god.

I'm Barney, I don't get smitten. I smite.

With great penis comes great responsibility

Believe it or not, I wasn't always as awesome as I am today.

Barney is single... it's what America has been clamoring for!

You're the mini-cherry on top of the regular cherry on top of the sundae of awesomeness that is my life.

It's gonna be legend-... wait for it... (and I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the second half of that word is) DAIRY!

Suit up!

Daddy's home!

Have you met [name]?

Duck, duck, gross

High-five

What do I do for a living? ....Please

Legen...wait for it...

Your body is a wonderland and I want to be Alice.

POOF! I'm here, where are your other two wishes?

I'd like to plant you and grow a whole field of yall.

Girl, you have got to be tired because you have been running through my mind ALL DAY.

Are your pants made out of a bunch of tiny pictures, because I can definitely see myself in them.

What do you say we go out to dinner, have some chicken... maye some sex?

Dude, lots of chicks think that architects are hot. Think about that, you create something out of nothing. You're like God. There is no one hotter than God.

You know what I love about Halloween? It's the one night of the year chicks use to unleash their inner ho-bag.

The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she's 17 years, 11 months old.

That was the night I was born. I rose like a phoenix from her mentholated bosom and strode into the world, Armani-clad and fully awesome.

Okay, pep talk! You can do this, but to be more accurate, you probably can't. You're way out of practice and she's way too hot for you. So, remember, it's not about scoring. It's about believing you can do it, even though you probably can't. Go get ‘em, tiger!

It's gonna be legend…wait for it…and I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the second half of that word is DAIRY

I've done so much good today, I've got like a soul boner

A week? That's like a year in hot girl time.

There are only two reasons to date a girl you've already dated: breast implants.

Open your brain tank, bro, 'cause here comes some premium 91-octane knowledge. There's three rules of cheating: 1. It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married. 2. It's not cheating if her name has two adjacent vowels. 3. And it's not cheating if she's from a different area code. You're fine on all three counts.

Remember, it’s not about scoring. It’s about believing you can do it, even though you probably can’t.

To succeed you have to stop being ordinary and be legen - wait for it -dary!

Have you heard of platform 9 and ¾? Well, I can think of something else with the exact same measurements...

If you were a dementor, I'd become a criminal just to get your kiss.

My name may not be luna, but I sure know how to lovegood!

I know we're not in professor Flitwick's class, but you still are charming.

Hagrid's not the only giant on campus, if you know what I mean.

I must have had some felix felicis. Because I think I'm about to get lucky.

Going to bed? Mind if I slytherin?

You are like a bottle of skele-gro: you're growing me a bone.

Have you been using the petrificus totalus spell? Because you've made me stiff.

Whaddya say you and me go look for the room of requirement?

Hey Ladies. Call Barney Stinson. 1-917-555-0199

There is no time to explain how I got bit there, I just need someone to suck the poison out.

Think of me like yoda, but instead of being little and green, I wear suits and I'm awesome. I'm your bro- I'm Broda!

When I let a day go by without talking to you, that day's just no good.

I'm sorry it's taken me this long to figure it out, but I promise I'm done making a foold of myself.

There are so many things to do with the human mouth. Why waste it on talking?

God, it's me, Barney. What's up? I know we don't talk much, but I know a lot of girls call out your name because of me.