skating with the stars

'Skating With the Stars' might be suffering from a voodoo curse. Or maybe the skating rink was originally built over an ancient burial ground. At any rate, things keep going wrong on the show. On tonight's episode (Mon., 8PM ET on ABC), two stars were rushed to the hospital, and one star was sent home.

First, skier Jonny Moseley cut the finger of his partner Brooke Castile. The injury occurred during practice, when Moseley's skate got caught in her hand, slashing Brooke's finger to the bone. Brooke was a real pro -- or at least is super-tough. She didn't make a sound, and Jonny didn't even notice that he had cut her -- until he saw her bleeding all over the rink. Brooke received stitches on her finger and returned in time for tonight's competition.

In the second week of 'Skating With the Stars,' there were a few falls as skaters added tricky moves like fancy footwork and lifts, and the first star was eliminated.

The judges attempted to figure out tough moves of their own, like getting the correct score paddle. Veteran skater Dick Button seemed to have trouble with his paddles, saying "8" but flashing a "7" to Jonny Moseley.

The confusion continued as clueless host Vernon Kay's comment on the mix-up was also inaccurate. Oops. Kay also referred to Vince Neil's partner Jennifer Wester, as "Brooke," (Jonny's partner) before correcting himself. Hmm, does he realize this show is live?

'Skating With the Stars'! It's like dancing, but -- on ice. So it's kind of like that other show -- you know -- the one with stars ... who dance. You know the show that we're talking about. At any rate, we've reached week two of 'Skating' (Mon., 8PM ET on ABC), and it's time to send someone home. Who would be eliminated first?

We'll give you a hint: Last week, this star said that they had more "looks, talent, nervous system and toughness" than all of the other players. This week ... that really didn't turn out to be the case, ice-skating-wise, at least.

Tonight's pair in the bottom two were actress Sean Young and Mötley Crüe rocker Vince Neil. Coincidentally (or not so coincidentally) they were also the only two skaters to take a tumble on the ice. Whoops. Vince had the lowest overall score, but Sean slipped and fell twice while skating tonight. So, who wouldn't make the cut?

In skating, the men have to lift their female partners, which begs the question: the female celebrities have an advantage in 'SWTS' over their male competitors?

"It's definitely a slight edge," judge Johnny Weir, a U.S Championship skater, acknowledged to TV Squad after the premiere. "But [female celebrities] have to back that up. They have someone who can carry them around for 10 seconds, but they can't look like a rock when they're set down. You have to be able to stand on your own two blades."

"You might like watching stars fall over -- and let's face it, who doesn't? -- then you've come to the right place," began over-the-top 'Skating With the Stars' host Vernon Kay. Hey, he's got us there.

Sadly, the premiere denied us a really good celebrity face plant on live TV, although there were plenty of practice falls. Given that no one actually wiped out, the judges were mostly kind to the new skaters.

Bethenny Frankel didn't score very well in her debut performance on 'Skating With the Stars' (Mon., 9PM ET on ABC), but she sure looked the part of a figure skater. After partner Ethan Burgess managed several creative spins and lifts with Frankel (to the appropriate tune of 'You Spin Me Right Round'), the judges gave their commentary.

Olympian/judge Johnny Weir said, "Your body is sick. I cannot believe you just had a baby." (Daughter Bryn was born in early May.) But he advised her to put more spirit into it: "You need to be in it, or stay on the side -- you have to really give it your all."

Tonight at 8PM, the second season of 'Battle of the Blades' will conclude on CBC after naming a winner from among the three remaining teams. Mere seconds after Bryan Adams claims in song that there will never be another tonight, ABC and CTV will attempt to prove him wrong, debuting 'Skating with the Stars' at 9PM ET/PT. I have a number of problems with this -- so many in fact, that I'm going to resort to a bulleted list format.

1. Why not franchise 'Battle of the Blades' instead of 'Skating With the Stars'?

If the U.S. had come up with a successful skating competition show, you'd better believe we'd be watching some Canadianized version of it, the rights bought and paid for. Call this hypothetical show 'So You Think You Can Battle with Celebrity Blades of Canada' or whatever, but if the success had been developed south of the border, and if Canucks had decided to go ahead with our own version without buying the rights, there'd be a lawsuit.

No, it's not a typo. It's 'Skating with the Stars,' not 'Battle of the Blades' or 'Dancing with the Stars' or the long-canceled 'Skating with Celebrities.' ABC's latest foray into mismatched-pairs-competitive-reality-show launches tonight, just as that other dancing show is undergoing its final performance.

Competing for the title are reality star Bethenny Frankel, actresses Sean Young and Rebecca Budig, musician Vince Neil, Olympic skier Jonny Moseley and actor/rapper Brandon Mychal Smith. Their professional partners will be announced soon, and Entertainment Weekly reports that the pros "won't necessarily be household names so don't hold out for, say, a Brian Boitano or a Kristi Yamaguchi."

But the idea's been tried once before, without much success (remember Fox's 2006 series 'Skating With Celebrities'? Didn't think so). And it's harder to find stars who can ice skate than stars who can dance; after all, there are only so many Canadian-born actors in Hollywood.

So perhaps we should help the networks by coming up with ideas for some safer, easier, yet still watchable "____ With the Stars" series. Here are some suggestions ...