Lady GaGa Drives The Hippie Van From Hell In The First ‘Machete Kills’ Clip

You know, a lot of people have said that Machete Kills, the sequel to the 2010 with basically the same plot, looks like an absurd, cartoonish version of a movie that was already absurdly cartoonish. But after watching this first official clip from the Robert Rodriguez film, due in theaters on October 11, I don’t know how anyone could say such things about a film that stars Lady GaGa as a psychopath driving an old VM van or especially Sofia Vergara as a pissed off hit-woman who fire bullets from guns mounted on both her breasts and crotch.

Not that I’m complaining, per se, but… Isn’t it kinda creepy that the guy who gave Alexa Vega her start as a child actress in Spy Kids now has her running around in ass-less chaps with her coochie and chi-chis all like ay caramba?

Robert Rodriguez movies always sound awesome on paper, but in practice are kind of cheap and joyless and not very fun. And in that sense he’s probably a better throw back to the days of Grindhouse than someone like Tarrantino just because the vast majority of Grindhouse movies sucked balls. They made awesome 2 minute trailers but were tedious as 2 hour films, which I think perfectly describes the first Machete.

Jesus fucking Christ. These fucking movies. “Let’s cast Mel Gibson as the villain! Andandand Charlie Sheen as the president! But we’ll call him Carlos Estevez! Holy shit I’m funny, this is such a good B movie!”