Month: October 2014

Yoni eggs are often considered as a fabulous tool for creating more sexual pleasure and increasing vaginal toning. And while I’ve written about that quite a bit HERE– they are ALSO fabulous healers with many additional uses and lessons to teach. I thought I’d share a few of those lessons here from time to time.
Because I’m active in the Yoni Egg community I have the opportunity to hear the concerns of women when it comes to the use of Yoni eggs. One thing I’ve noticed is concerns over imperfections in the eggs.

While I’ve had this concern come up extremely infrequently with my clients – I’ve had women approach me with pictures, questions, and fears of eggs they’ve purchased from others wanting to return them for fear that something was wrong with them.

It kept niggling at me and I couldn’t understand why – when I went into meditation about what the lesson was Spirit said “Self-Acceptance”.

Have a cup of tea and let’s talk darling.

Yoni eggs are made of naturally occurring materials. The are Earth Grown – not factory produced. This means that they often include occlusions, inclusions, and other distinctions that should not be considered imperfections but character traits.

We live in a world where we’ve been taught that excellence and quality are known by perfection. Perfection being known by lack of distinction. This idea of perfection affects women profoundly in every area of life.

Women look at a slight bulge in the belly and call it fat.

A few stretch marks and call that disfigured.

A partner who can’t read her mind is called “indifferent”.

Children who get less than straight A’s are called “rebellious”.

This perfectionist tendency is pervasive in our culture. There is little to no room for learning, growing, and being… well, HUMAN.

When you begin to embark on a healing path this quest for the Perfect can still show up. And show up in ways that can be deceptive.

We call it “Not settling” – which sounds good- but in reality, understanding the beauty in what *IS* is not settling- it’s actually elevating one’s life by infusing it with contentment.

In other words – your sense of self-worth is not increased by judging others more- it’s increased by judging you less.

What does this have to do with Yoni Eggs?

When your sense of Self Value is synonymous with being critical and scrutinizing with a fine tooth comb of judgement everything around you – this energy pervades everything.

Including your relationship with your Yoni Eggs.

Instead of looking at what the egg has to offer to you – you look at it with eyes of judgement, skepticism, maybe even fear.

As an example, I’m sharing a photo below of some yoni eggs that I own. Some have been purchased from other purveyors (I like to support other women too!), some are mine, one was an egg that a client returned and I felt drawn to accept into my life.

As you look at the eggs above- do you see the flaws? The imperfections? What’s lacking?

Can you go a little deeper?

Can you feel the energy? The healing? The Strength?

Here’s the truth- we tend to judge our yoni eggs in the same way we judge ourselves (and likely judge our yonis!)

And in this, we miss a Great gift.

Within the realm of Crystal healing, there is what are known as “Empathic Crystals”. Empathic Crystals are crystals that were mishandled at some point in their mining or formed in spite of less than ideal circumstances. Rather than being harmed by this- is gives these crystals a unique empathy for human suffering and pain and a DEEPER ability to heal their human companions from trauma, abuse, and injury. The help change the world around you and offer you a huge dose of compassion and kindness for yourself and others.

This from a Yoni Egg that is often rejected by the woman who likely MOST needs it.

Yoni egg Crystals are by definition “wabi-sabi” – they embody the beauty of imperfection. They help us learn that the imperfect defines our lives yet does not diminish our joy and our ability to live lives of excellence.

In fact, it can be the actual embodiment of the sublime.

This is not to say that we Yoni egg purveyors should not attempt to offer the best quality eggs we can. Nor is it to say you need to take an egg that has an obvious deep gash in it and place it within your Yoni- that is not prudent. A good rule of thumb is to see if you can FEEL any sharp edges and if you feel with your intuition that an egg is unsafe – please follow that dear heart. But make sure it’s your intuition and not your fear, not your perfectionism, and not a lack of self-acceptance showing up. Need help figuring it out? Try this or Feel free to reach out!

Live. Love. Lush and Fearless,

P.S – If you’d like a sacred container to hold you, love you, accept you as you Transform – I invite you to join:http://tinyurl.com/GetSOFT

The SECRET is – work on it before you have to.

Now its time to talk about the relationship! (stop rolling your eyes. Im serious.)

Talk about the relationship. What are your joys? Fears?

What do you most love about him or her…now is your time to share all the words of affirmation and support that you typically THINK in your head without actually SAYING out loud to the person you love.

Give voice to them. Say them now – NOW while there isnt anything serious on the table.

Now while there isnt a Bad Thing that needs to be worked on.

Now while you can look each other in the eye and nobody has to be forgiven for speaking in anger or irritation.

You know how it is…when you are typically “Having The Talk”. With all of that gooey, sticky terribleness that signifies Somethings Wrong Between Us.

Instead – Be present now – talk to each other. Engage with each other. Share your hearts. Be willing to LET GO of the notion that talking about the relationship is some kind of Necessary Evil that is filled with tension and bad feelings.

Believe me, I know how that feels.

I can remember when I was in a previous relationship – just the phrase “can we talk?” made my pulse and respiration spike almost instantly.

When I heard that phrase, I knew that all hell was about the break loose.

As a result I absolutely HATED relationship talks. They were long, difficult, painful affairs that always meant that something was WRONG and it was probably my fault.

I discovered that I been trained by my circumstances and eventually my expectation that ANY relationship talk was by definition a bad one.

Which just plain isnt true. And it doesnt serve our relationship or our happiness.

So I needed to get rid of that story – and replace it with a story that made more sense and fit better with the life that I wanted to lead and the relationship I desired.

Today, communicating about our relationship and what it means to us is never a source of pain or discomfort – in fact,

these are the conversations, the moments that feed us, that sustain us –

If we ever have a tense moment or misunderstanding, its usually resolved in minutes, instead of the hours, days and weeks that used to happen in previous relationships.

This seems like magic – but it’s a skill.

It’s a choice.

Its what we do – not only for each other, but in our practice, helping couples do the Work –

to heal and to grow together instead of apart.

We can teach you how to live and love like this – IF you are willing to do the work.