It's OK to say no to family

Lots of the questions I get from readers involve friends, families and finances. Here are some topics that came up during my online chats.

Michelle Singletary

Lots of the questions I get from readers involve friends, families and finances. Here are some topics that came up during my online chats.

Question: My daughter has to move. Her credit is bad and she is having difficulty getting approved for an apartment. Should I co-sign? Moving home is not an option.

Answer: Do not co-sign.

I know you want to help. However, unless you are prepared to make her monthly rent payments, don't do it. If her credit is bad, this is an indication that some financial issues are there already. Maybe it's because she was irresponsible, maybe not (like she's lost a job). But in either case, don't link your finances with hers. Instead, help her explore various living options. Perhaps she can move in with a friend temporarily.

Q: Our 28-year-old daughter is entering a master's program this fall and we anticipate she will require loans. My wife and I are in our early 60s and expect to retire in three to five years. Should we co-sign an educational loan if asked?

A: Co-signing means you are borrowing, too. You are not a backup borrower. And I would definitely not recommend it since you are so close to retiring - unless you have the money to pay the loans. And if you have the money to pay the loans, then just give it to her. (I don't believe in loaning money. It can get complicated and/or ugly.) Encourage your daughter to work and save.

Q: Do you tell or have you told anyone in your family about your net worth? Until my spouse let it slip to a sibling (I am very private about money), only our broker knew how healthy our assets were. Am I being silly to like to keep the information private?

A: You are not being silly. No, I do not tell folks what my net worth is, certainly not family. It's none of their business. Besides, in some families the more they know, the more they may press you for money.

Q: I have a 3-year-old daughter with my ex-boyfriend. He did not want to be involved, but his mom does. We see my daughter's grandmother about once a month. One of my daughter's favorite dishes is green bean casserole. During a holiday meal, the grandmother insisted on giving it a whirl. Little did I know that she had put bacon in it (she knows my daughter and I are allergic to pork). My daughter ate it and her face and lips started to swell. Fortunately I had her medication. She was rushed to the hospital where they administered more medication. I received a bill for $3,000. I think her grandmother should pay the bill, but she refuses. She says it was only a few slices of bacon in the recipe, and she didn't believe me when I said we were allergic. (In the past I served turkey bacon to her.) How do I go about this? I'll just pay it with a credit card, but I'll have that debt to work off.

A: That the grandmother knew about the food allergy and still put bacon in the dish leaves me stunned. She is responsible and should pay any part of the bill not covered by insurance. Unless you take her to small claims court, you are stuck with the bill.

Contact Michelle Singletary, a financial columnist at The Washington Post, at michelle.singletary@washpost.com.