Dating an INFJ Personality Type

The INFJ personality type, in both men and women, is believed to be the least common of the sixteen personality types enumerated by the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. Just 1.3% of the male population and 1.6% of the female population in United States apparently belongs to the INFJ personality type 1. This is probably because of their concern with the metaphysical and their tendency to overanalyze. However as people who are deeply interested in making things work, INFJs can make for some of the most fulfilling of relationships. So here are a few tips if you are dating an INFJ personality type.

Take your time

If you have found an INFJ guy or girl who is smart and attractive, the first thing to do is allow yourself some time to know him/her better. This is because INFJs with their several layers of personality and their hidden inner selves can often be rather difficult to understand. They often have trouble explaining their innermost thoughts and feelings to others which is why they end up appearing secretive and complicated to outsiders. This in turn makes INFJs choosy of what and when to share things and which is why they open up only to those who they trust. Keep this in mind when you get impatient with your INFJ partner and feel that your relationship is going nowhere since he/she will not let you in his/her world.

Appreciate intensity

The other side of a careful and sometimes secretive personality of an INFJ is a surprisingly intense nature. When your INFJ partner does decide to open up to you, you will become privy to a world of fantastic ideas, deep feelings and visions for the future. These people live intensely, both in terms of feelings and ideas. Which is why it will not do to be flippant about their feelings of love and passion. So if your INFJ lover decides to whisk you away for a romantic vacation or composes a passionate love poem for you, don’t balk at their intensity. Rather appreciate and respond with equal fervor so that they feel they are in a mutually fulfilling relationship.

Understand their concern for others

The presence of the two keywords, Intuitive and Feeling, in the INFJ type indicates that this personality is highly attuned towards the feelings and concerns of others. They are acutely insightful of people around them and have an almost innate and instinctive sense of how to motivate and help them. This leads to strong empathic abilities and an unusually marked desire to contribute to the welfare of others. So if you intend to score high with your INFJ partner you need to understand this quality and perhaps even share their point of view. For instance if your partner says he/she dreams of sponsoring orphans from Afghanistan or doing something for the neighborhood stray cats, don’t laugh away their ideas or you will come off cold, hard-hearted and selfish – an anathema to all members of the INFJ type.

Don’t discount the power of visions

The INFJ is the true visionary among the sixteen MBTI personality types. Among their deepest concerns are how to make the future a better place, how to improve things in the days to come. As far as personal relationships are concerned, INFJs similarly prefer to look ahead. So instead of boring them with questions about their past or queries about their exes, impress them with your ideas about a future with each other – where you dream of living together and what you see yourselves doing in the days to come.

Don’t appear too materialistic

It is not for no reason that most of the leaders, thinkers and activists belong to the IFNJ type. They are deeply concerned about making the world a better place to live and will put in a lot of energy into identifying the best systems to get things done. However their leadership and taking of initiative is rarely motivated by greed and if anything they frown upon a way of life which is limited to materialistic achievement. So if you are interested in keeping your INFJ partner highlight your altruistic activities, what you have given back to the community and how you have improved the lives of others, in however a small way. Gloating simply on your swanky office or your riverfront condo is unlikely to cut much ice with an INFJ partner whose personality is deeply concerned with the welfare of others.

Sense of duty

People of the INFJ personality type are acutely aware of their duties and obligations and expect the same from people who are close to them. So if you have made a date with your IFNJ partner or promised to do something special for them, make sure you honor your commitment. The same holds true for other aspects of your professional and social behavior. The Judging principle in the INFJ personality type ensures that they lay great store by values like fair-play, logic and organization and in fact it is their principle of working towards a goal that keeps them from turning into impractical dreamers and aimless drifters.

Try to be a soul-mate

An INFJ personality is usually not the right choice for a casual relationship or a sexual fling. Their naturally secretive temperament makes them trust only a few who are then allowed to enter their inner world of visions and ideas. While they may be dating a lot, they usually do it with one partner at a time since they are perpetually on the look-out of a deep and meaningful relationship. So in order to find the way to an INFJ’s heart, what you need to do is not so much as to take him/her out to fancy restaurants on a regular basis or be a gymnast in bed, but be a soul-mate who can understand and share their complex and highly individualistic world.