My parent will go to Scotland in holiday next week, so before going to the north, my parents are visiting me ! My mother arrived a couple of days from now and my father will arrive in the afternoon.

That’s good but I have forgotten just one point about my mother, she’s addict to internet, she’s so a geek ! She can’t live without a computer. When she’s at home, she is all the time behind a screen, on forums / website or I don’t even know what…

Yesterday, I couldn’t get out from my home because I didn’t feel well, not a big deal it happens sometimes. But instead to go in Paris and to visit the city, my mother just stayed at home with me or I should say, she stayed behind my Macbook on internet all day long with me sitting on my couch, reading a Connelly’s book and sometime watching a tv show ! I couldn’t even touch my laptop because she was like stuck to it !

Funny isn’t it ?! I do remember when I was teenage where my mother was yelling on me to make me shut down my computer. She couldn’t understand why I stayed so long behind the screen. Then now, the role have changed… I’m the one yelling at her because I can’t understand why she just can’t leave the computer even to enjoy a dinner in family…

Yes that’s right, she just leave the dinner to go behind her computer…. true !! Alright, my father eats slowly that’s a fact. Most of time, my mother has already finish the dessert when my father is still eating the main plate, but instead of waiting for him / us, she just leave the table to go behind the computer… True story !!

I mean, I love internet and my laptop you see, but not as much than her ! I don’t know what she is doing exactly… She’s on Facebook, reading and writing on forums and waiting for her (virtual) friends to write her back… yes ok but all day long, really ? That’s a mystery to me !!

Can you believe that to keep this blog away from her, I had to play really smart!! Changing my email, not linking my French blog or vice versa to hide from her, to not allowed her to know the name of this blog… Yes because she is really looking for any information about me on the internet and now about my boyfriend too… Creepy isn’t it ?! When I told you that she was a geek, a real nerd !!

One thing is sure, if you would tell me when I was teenager that one day, I will be the one fighting against my mother about internet…. Humm I would have laughed so loudly !!

When my boyfriend is cooking, you can be sure the kitchen will looks like if a hurricane enters and mess it all, everything seems to be upside down, the cooking space is just like a huge battle field and I don’t even mention all the dishes… you’ve been braved into the battle field my friends, we will never forget you for your sacrifice.

What about me ? Well believe my words of wisdom, I’m perfect. My kitchen stays the same as it should be all the time, completely clean and everything in his perfect order… How do I do ? Well truly simply I should say… I don’t cook ! What a better way to keep it clean right ? Ok sometime it might happened to me to cook a little something… but a quickly, simply one you see, does prepare a mixed salads means cooking for you ? No I’m joking right, sometimes I’m really cooking but not often, you see, since I’ve my boyfriend in full-time at home, the kitchen is not my kingdom any more, it’s his ! I mean if I daringly try to enter in to the kitchen when he is cooking, he leads me nicely but firmly to the exit.

You don’t have nothing to do in the kitchen when I’m cooking, Kitchen is a dangerous place for you to be ! GET OUT !

If one day, someone would told me that I would be fired from a cooking space, I would never believed him/her ! My grandmothers ever told me that it was important to know how to cook if I wanted to keep a man at home… I mean, does the women are not supposed to get the monopole of the kitchen ? Are we not supposed to know how to cook some delicious meal to our men ? Well not any-more, at least not in my home….

The problem is, how will I do to eat or should I say survive when he will go away on tour for a entire so long month next week ? Arghh I can barely think about it, I’m always complaining about the mess he does everyday but now I will miss this mess !! Yes I will beg for this mess again ! He made me addict to him just with his cooking’s skills… Ok maybe not just his cooking’s skills… But still OH MY God, I’m screwed ! Guess that is working for men is also working for women right ? It seems that I’m the perfect exemple right ?!

With the back of the good days, my bedroom window is wide open all day long. And don’t ask me why, but some flies from outside are coming into my bedroom during the day, and well just as some good stupid flies, they can’t find their way back outside ! They just are flying around all day long. So as you can guess it, it’s pretty much annoying and even how hard I’m trying to lead them outside, I almost failed all the time to this task. I’ve locked the cat in the bedroom with this stupid feeling that she would hunt them and play / kill / eat whatever she wants actually, but she would ended with it ! Nope, she just stare at them, flying all around, she is trying to catch one or two but not much.

So when comes the time to me and my boyfriend to go to bed, they are still there staring at us, scoffing at us with flying all around and making this little BZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZ all around ! We can’t saw them all the time but we definitely heard them flying around… What a vile little flying insect !

So there the magic works, a special moment is happening, the moment where my boyfriend or should I say my MAN is letting out his old and precious need to express his cavern male needs talking, the need of hunting flies. He took an old t-shirt and begin to turn it around up over his head, moving in the room, ready for the action and the danger, (yes hunting flies could be dangerous what about to fall down from the bed ?) keeping his old T-Shirt turning in the air as high as he can. He is looking for the flies, staring at them, waiting for them to show up again. He will find any place where they could have landed, the walls, the ceiling lamp, anywhere ! You can definitely see the hunting part of him. The look is not the same, the muscles are prominent, he is determined to make them disappeared, to all catch them or should I say to lead them out of our cavern love nest…

He’s not the same anymore, no he’s the Flies Hunter and it’s his hunting moment. It can last for a couple of minutes, sometime less, sometimes more but one thing is sure, he does not stop until they are all outside ! And he makes it, every day or should I say every night. Not one fly left in my bedroom when he close the window. I call this moment the Hunting’s dance and you know what, every night, such a brilliant hunter coming back to the cavern, I congratulate him with a kiss. Yes he is my Flies’s Hunter and I like to see him to do his hunting’s dance to protect me and our lovely love nest….

Lately, I have a plenty of time to kill, so plenty of time to think about stupid and crazy thing such :

What if everyone, included me, lived our life just like in a TV Show ? What kind of TV Show will it be ?

Just being honest, there is so many kind of different show, so we first have to choose the right kind true ? Would it be a comedy, a drama, a romantic comedy / drama or maybe even a suspense, mysterious tv show just like 24H or Lost… Will it be an uncommon story with extraordinary situations, events or just a very common way of life with just normal problems to solve.

Yes, that’s a crazy idea, so what will it be ?

What about Police / FBI’s kind of TV Show, you know just like CSI or Criminal Minds ? I like to watch this kind of Show but I’m not really sure to want to have a life on-screen with all this dramas / murder’s image all the time… Hum not a good Idea in the end.

What the hell are they doing in a field ?

I’ve been through a lot of drama in my life, tough situations to live like surgery and well other things that I’m not gonna to talk to you about, so this way I could say that it could be a drama TV Show with multiple situations who can makes you cry like a little girl in front of your TV, but do I really want to be this kind of TV show, a sort of “Little house on the prairie” or more recently something like “Grey’s Anatomy” or “Private Practice”, specially that I have a couple of very cute and sexy doctors just for me… Yes ladies, one of my doctor is Mc Dreamy and another one is Mc Sexy, jealous ? But to think about it, no I won’t like it, to be in a drama show, come on, I’m not talking about my doctors any more ! I mean with all my respect, I do like to see the good moment and share them but most of it, I like to let think that I’m not letting a bad feeling, well a dramatic feeling of my life. No I like to think that I will let a good one whatever my life is, a strong and good feeling about it even with a little touch of comedy, OK OK not a little one, a big touch of comedy ! And believe me, with all the stories about men that I can talk about… there will be a lot of laugh among the audience !

Don't are they cool, smart, legen -wait for it- dary sexy !

So here we are, I would rather to be just like in a good comic TV Show with a bit of drama but just enough to help to become a more interesting story to keep you on behind your screen. Something between Sex And The City and Friends… I get it !! How I Met Your Mother. That’s it ! HIMYM will be perfect for me ! Not that I don’t like Sex In The City, au contraire, but I would like more to talk about something else than Girl Friends, Men and sex, but about any life situations ! I like to laugh, I like to smile whatever the situation is and I truly believe that even the worst has always a funny little thing who happen to make you smile and you can find this in HIMYM’s TV Show! Of course I will be sexy, sexier than actually I am but not too much neither. So what ?! This is my TV Show right ? I have the right to lie a little bit about myself isn’t it ? Being sexier, funnier and smarter but not too much, just enough to be coolest, not that I’m not cool… don’t misunderstood me ! Just a little bit cooler… Well yes, If I have to write or to film my life as a Tv Show, I would like it to be just like “How I Met Your Mother”, well except that we should be named it differently right. First because well euhhh I’m a woman so I will be the “mother” so I would not need to meet the mother and because for a few months now, I’m not even single….

What will be the next murder / conspiracy in the neighbourhood ?!

Wait a minute, something crossed my mind again, what about Pushing Daisies ? I like this universe, so colourful and delightful ! Or maybe “Cougar Town” or “Desperate Housewife”, no, no, I’m not enough old for the first one and not really feeling comfortable with all the drugs /addiction problems, murders and conspiracies among Wisterya Lane’s neighbours. That’s crazy all the things who could happen in this kind of neighbourhoods ! Even if I might find a kind of similarity with Susan Mayer about her cooking issue (let’s be clear about it, I’m suck in a kitchen right, but I’m still better than she is. I just wanted to let you know….) I definitely do not would like to live in this kind of Tv Show ! So it seems that HIMYM would be the finest choice so far but what about the name so ? What about, How I Lived My Life ? HILML ? Nope ?

Not that I’m really a religious person or anything this kind, but today I’m gonna need your help. Yep I have sinned, I did a horrible and terrifying thing. I hope you will forgive me for this lack of good sense, for this awful act of weakness… I have been to McDonald’s and order a menu and an ice cream… *sick* I’m really feeling ashamed of it ! And just like it wasn’t enough… I have done it when my boyfriend was away, eat everything and threw all the evidence of this disloyal act to the trash bin. Not MY trash bin, oh no, but the building trash bin ! The crime scene, my living room, has been entirely cleaned, not even a tiny clue to let him think that I’ve been eating in the evening. This way, even if my boyfriend is getting down the trash in the building trash bin, he could not know that it was MY McDonald’s bag…

I can see you behind your screen of your computer telling to yourself that it wasn’t such a big sin, but I can assure you that it was, for me. Yes I do NEVER eat McDonald’s, I just don’t like this, it’s not good for health, lot of sugar, fat, oil and everything that you don’t even know ! The ice cream is not even good, not really tasty and the coca cola is more like water with a lightly taste of coca than a real proper drink. I’m always the first one to fight against the will to go to this kind of fast food to eat, I’m the first to tell to every one that this is not food, this is bad food. I always rather to buy some sushi, and guess what is just in front of my building main entrance… a japanese restaurant ! But no, I can’t explain it…. today I’ve sinned, I’ve been to the Devil’s favourite “restaurant” ! Don’t ask me why, I don’t even know myself. It was just a fancy, no no, not a craving !! (I would have need cherries thoughts….!)

Sometimes you just can’t explain it, I wanted some, it was so close to my home, too close… I smell it, I wanted it, I desired it… I’ve been very lazy. OH MY GOD !! You bloody demon, just get out of my body ! Leave me alone with your fast food need !

Thanks to my good sense of morality, my boyfriend would never know it… specially when you know that he would cook me with all his love a delightful, wealthy diner tonight. Yes at home, that’s my boyfriend the master of the Kitchen, the Chief of the saucepan, the Guru of the Vegetables… Me I’m not good in a kitchen, well yes, just to do the dishes, but not to cook a proper meal… I can see you hiding behind your screen laughing at me, Yes I’m a French woman and I can’t cook ! Don’t misunderstood, there is a lot of French woman like me, in fact much more than you can think… too many.. (but this is another subject, it won’t be appropriated to ruined this cliché about us…) If I’m hiding all the evidence properly and that I brush my teeth before he will come back, he will never know. No he must not know anything about it !! And I promise that I will eat all his meal without complaining even if I’m not hungry, just to please him….

Come on !! Don’t tell me that you don’t know what is a Hipster… You have already seen some of them, you have to, they are everywhere ! You can’t walk in the street without crossing their ways. They are on television, on internet, in the movies, in the streets, in the bars / restaurants, in concert halls, even in the museums ! I told you, they are absolutely everywhere !! That’s almost scary !

How could you recognize them ? Well most of time, they are not dressed like every one because they don’t like to be “mainstream”, nope, they want to be special, unique…. They’re going to Tony and Guy’s hairdresser, love to listen music with their new Iphone / Ipod / Monsters Beats Dr Dree’s earphone, they are interested in alternative rock, arts in general, into video games and new communication’s tools like Twitter / Facebook… Parisian Bobo or Hispters love to place some English words in the middle of the conversation because well you know English is so cool and so much trandy ! You might think they could look like NERDS but they’re not, there is this little thing who told you that they look cooler that them. But be careful, 2 Hipsters will not look the same neither, because they don’t buy clothes in some mainstream shop, but vintage shops or (they just took their Grand mother or grand father clothes) ! Looking for unique and specials items, they rule fashion, as they say… They all look the same but they’re not really all the same… humm quite confusing isn’t it !?

But there is worst than just Hipsters, there is Teenager’s Hipsters !!

That is a special “race”. Teenager are not so easy in their behaviour most of time but Hipster’s ones are the worst ever… Mostly they are coming from some very wealthy’s families, so they got a special behaviour because of that. They are used to get everything they want, so they are kind of arrogant and un-respectful towards authority. They don’t like rules because they are cool, so the coolest thing is to break this fucking rules…
When you talk to them, hipster’s specimen will stare at you with an empty look and any facial expression, so you can’t know what he is really thinking. Does the information get into his / her brain ? Does he / she really understand what I was telling him ? What doesn’t he / she react ? Do I have to repeat my information or what ?!!!

Nope, he / she have completely understood your information but this unexpressive face is his / her way to make you believe that you ARE the STUPID ONE or FOOLISH’ ONE with your rules…. Most of time, they just don’t want to “obey” to a simple request as “This is a non smoking place here, would you blow your cigarette out please?“, so after forcing you to repeat this information several times, they obey (at least!!) but they are really upset and criticize you in a nt very nice way behind your back or they just light up another cigarettes after you left…

Yes this is such a nice time with them, if ever you’re representing authority in front of them… But if you’re selling cool stuff like Beers / alcohols / foods or merchandising, they are just changing attitudes towards you ! No, you’re not cool (don’t be fool!!) but you’re tending to be enough interesting to them so they will listen to you and will maybe told you “hello, please and thank you”… but don’t expect all of this, you might be disappointed…

Of course, there is still some exceptions, some of them could be respectful and nice but not that much… 🙂

Why a post about Hipsters ?… Humm because tonight there will some of them on stage, so lot of them in the audience too !! This is my luck to study them… 😉