Survey Tricks Young People into Believing Health Insurance Is a Turn On

According to a Kelton Research survey, paid for by eHealthInsurance.com, the largest online resource for health insurance, 20-somethings are more attracted to people with health insurance.

Every day there seems to be a new survey pushing boundaries of mediocrity to discover something glaringly obvious. We know most men enjoy having sex with attractive women. There is no need to poll 300 males between the ages of 20-40-years-old to find out that result. You don’t need statistics–the answer is evident.

Of course, some surveys don’t solely deal with the clear and observable facts. In fact some research firms simply publish skewed results and pawn it off as truth, using precision phrasing to create a headline that is advantageous for their employer.

For example, did you know that 20-somethings are more attracted to people with health insurance? Crazy right? It seems like a rather interesting revelation, considering the fact that health insurance has absolutely nothing to do with physical attraction. Not to mention the fact that attractiveness is completely subjective.

However, that is an eye-popping headline for a 20-something who is desperately seeking their soulmate or trying to land a nice piece of tail. But now, thanks to this survey, they know the secret to finding that special someone, and have edge over their competitors – health insurance.

Don’t think twice about it. If you want to get laid this weekend, Google “health insurance,” click on the first link you see, and sign up today! Depending on your preference you’ll be swimming in vaginas or dicks in no time.

However, if you take the time to do a little research you’ll notice the question on the survey is rigged to create that exact headline. First, the survey question stipulates that you’re already attracted to this hypothetical person. So right away we find out that health insurance isn’t a miracle cure for being ugly.

The only thing actually being asked is if you’d be more or less attracted to someone who has health insurance. Without a “no opinion” or “I don’t get turned on by medical coverage” bubble on your scantron sheet the question becomes pointless. Of course the majority would be “more attracted to him or her” simply because what is unattractive about health insurance? Nothing.

Now, if you Google “health insurance” the first hit, both sponsored and unsponsored, is eHealthInsurance.com, which also happens to be the same company that contracted Kelton Research to conduct the survey. Surprise!

Oddly enough at the top of the survey the company’s name only appears in a shortened format (eHealth), possibly to conceal the fact they’re actually an insurance company trying to sell something.

All of this information becomes even funnier after reading the introduction at the top survey.

This survey is being conducted by Kelton Research, a leading national public opinion company. We are not trying to sell you anything, but would like to ask you a few questions for a national opinion study, the results of which will appear in the nation’s leading media outlets in the coming weeks. Your answers will be confidential and anonymous.

Of course Kelton Research isn’t trying to sell anything, but eHealthInsurance.com on the other hand is trying to sell sex to 20-somethings in the form of health care. They’re simply being sneaky about it.

It turns out that, not only were 38-year-old Melody Lippert (mugshot, left) and 30-year-old Michelle Ghirelli (right) booked for unlawful sexual conduct, but the extra-curricular enthusiasts are also facing drug charges.