Extremely Florida Woman Attempts to Steal Live Lobster From Restaurant

Everyone’s been here: It’s a Saturday night, you’ve had three Mojitos too many, and next thing you know, you’re running down the street with a live crustacean in one hand. An intoxicated Florida woman found herself in this classic situation after a manager asked her to leave a St. Petersburg Red Lobster on Saturday for reportedly “causing a scene” and “disturbing other customers.” Feeling she had to make a bigger statement than just cursing her way out, she allegedly grabbed a live lobster straight out of the water tank and bolted.

The police were called and found the woman, who denied knowing the lobster’s location. It is not yet known if she blamed PETA or if the lobster simply made a really strong case for its freedom.

Using a textbook “I was hammered” defense, according to the police report, she told the cops that she didn’t care or do anything wrong at the restaurant. Surprisingly, this defense did not work and the woman was booked for disorderly conduct. At the very least, give her credit for being bold enough to dunk her hand into a tank full of live lobsters.