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Fathers leave, women do job and take blame

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Thursday March 13, 2014 5:00 AM

In his Friday letter “U.S. programs perpetuate single mothers,” Michael R. Wintering wrote that “
single motherhood thrives today because of the support of government poverty programs.”

He referred to “the faults of women” and “her good behavior” in his diatribe against poor
women.

He briefly mentioned “Johnny’s father” as a possible source of income. In my mind, the hero is
the parent who stayed despite all odds to care for the children.

We act as though it is no big thing that so many men make children and then leave.

A segment of the population has decided that women should be denied birth control and access to
abortion to control their fertility.

We expect the mother to take care of the children while earning $7.25 an hour and, at the same
time, be home to take care of the kids without pay when they are sick, and don’t give her sick days
so she probably will be fired.

We grant her a small food subsidy, but forbid her to buy diapers with the funds.

If she receives subsidized housing, she is isolated in farther-out neighborhoods. Then, we tell
the mother to get a job, but we don’t give her bus fare if she is lucky enough to get a job on a
bus route.

We judge and criticize and shame her, but expect her to have great emotional strength to still
learn about child development and read daily to the children.

What kind of people are so cruel and critical of people who need care and mentoring?

I suggest that people like Wintering get involved with programs to assist these mothers and
their children.

Mentoring a young parent is very rewarding. In fact, mentoring anyone who is disadvantaged is
much better than standing on the side and watching them drown while saying it’s their fault. The
fact is that parents who are deeply stressed financially very often raise deeply wounded children
whom society will pay for in one way or another. And the cycle of poverty and abuse continues.

If one does reach out to those in need, he just might find it very rewarding.

Every time a person beats up on moms, it is hurting their children. It doesn’t have to be this
way.