I gazed at the wall, wallowing in my melancholy as I considered my lack of friends. Well, maybe naming it "my lack of friends" isn't appropriate, and the more appropriate way of phrasing this is would be my lack of true friends, because I like many other people, do have people I am friendly with, but have no one that actually knows me.

So should I actually call those amiable acquaintances my friends? I don't think that that is what I should call them, but more appropriately would be chums, because friends are people, and you can check me on this because I am almost absolutely sure that this is the dictionary definition of it, who are attached to one another by feelings of affection or personal regard. You hear that? I said personal! Not distant, but personal, as in close to you.

As these melancholy thoughts glided in and out of my mind, I realized that one of the said chums was talking to me and I dragged my mind back into attention, because I was not gifted by the skill that some people had acquired, of being able to say meaningless 'mmhmm's' or 'oh yeah's' at the right moment. I could say them at the wrong moment, but at the right one… not so much!

"And Jessie told Robbie! I can't believe she told! She promised that she would keep it secret and then she just turns around and tells him and of course I get mad about it! Then, get this, she gets mad at me for getting mad at her for telling and she tells Robbie that I said he was flipping out about it, and he really started flipping about it! I swear I'm never talking to her ever again," Avalon chattered to me.

I tried hard to navigate through this drama, but it was so hard! I mean Faith and Bill are going out, but Ben is cheating on Faith, is what I understand, but Avalon couldn't tell either of them, because she was friends with both, and if she told then Bill would be mad at her, and if she didn't tell then Faith was going to break up with Bill anyways so Faith would never know. Avalon couldn't stand keeping the secret, so she told her best friend, Jessie, who told Robbie, who has a crush on Faith so he almost told her!

It was all just so complicated, like one of those unbelievably melodramatic soap operas that are only on at noon, while most teenagers are at school. Confusing and exhausting are the best words I can use to describe it.

Not to mention utterly ridiculous.

"Oh my gosh I know, Jessie has such a big mouth, she can't keep a secret to save her life! Last year remember that rumor about how me and Akash banged it up behind the cafeteria trash cans? She totally started that rumor when she knew that I had only kissed him, and very chastely at that. I told her that like four days before the rumor reached back to my ears. She is such a bitch!" Cartreena gabbled.

"Oh yeah I remember that… she started that? Wow I didn't know that… she always seemed fairly nice to me," I commented, quasi-nonchalantly.

"Oh no she's really not… so how are things going with your efforts to capture Chase's heart?" Her words make a blush spread across my cheeks and on down to my exposed neck.

"Well, um, he's still in love with Victoria, and can you blame him? I'm so pitiful that I make even that nerdy girl Sheryl, with boogers all over her fingers, look like a movie star." I frown shyly and look down at my lap in disapproval. I hate the way my tummy hangs over my pants slightly, but no matter how much I push myself to exercise, it stays there, as stubborn as a mule.

"Aw your not that pathetic! Only slightly!" Avalon said with what she though was sympathy, but was actually pretty offensive.

"Uh, Thanks," I try say back, with no infliction in my voice hinting to how she hurts my feelings, and pretty much succeeding.

"Your welcome sweetie!" She beams at me and I resist the urge to smack the smile off her face. Although it would be super satisfying. Fun. Pay back. Revenge.

Still I abstain from the overwhelming yearning to take my hand, and by default my nails, and drag them both across her face. Which could possibly scar her for life, but then I wouldn't the most pathetic one, now would I. I could just imagine someone gasping and going 'how did you acquire that scar!?' and her reply dripping with shame and remorse ,'I pushed this one girl too far, calling her pathetic, and pushing her around, stretching her and stretching her like a rubber band until she snapped back and buffeted me.'

While that would be funny, I'd also be in big trouble with lots of people. The principle, the teachers, my chums, absolutely everyone!

So I shut my eyes and gritted my teeth against her back handed comments and just let them slide right over me, ignoring them to the best of my ability. I guess it helped that I knew that she didn't mean it offensively, but instead, whatever was in her brain came out of her mouth, a slippery slide conjoining them.

"So do you think things will ever work out between Chase and I?" I inquired. I hoped to god their answer was yes, but I knew hoping and praying aren't going to help me now. These girls were like hurricanes, there was no stopping them, but at least you knew what was coming from them. They had no secrets, and I'll admit neither do I.

"Well, honey, we can't tell you for sure, but hey, everything's possible. Remember when I applied for that early high school scholarship, and they said that I had no chance of making it due to the fact that I live in a middle class family? They said that I wasn't dirt poor so I most likely wouldn't snag that scholarship, but I know that I'm poor enough that I could never pay my way through college, so why can't I get scholarships like anyone else? But then, I entered my application along with my writing portfolio and they were so thoroughly enchanted by the words I wove on the thin pieces of paper, that in the end, against all odds, they chose me as their scholarship student! Now I have $5,000 and I'm still saving for college. Soon I'll be able to get a bachelors degree at one of the public in-state colleges with out taking out any loans!"

This was not a new story to me , whatsoever. I had heard it many times because she had been so utterly ecstatic and thrilled about it that she had retold her tale to anyone who would listen, and when people who had not heard it before were not around, she tortured her chums with the story.

We smiled at her and nodded our heads in encouragement and I thought that the other girl's encouraging responses practically had made in china stamped on them. Just as mine did. We really aren't that different on the inside even though our skins all exhibited how differently the sun can bless people and our eyes were trying their hardest to acquire all the different shades of blue and brown.

"Well, guys I really need to go home so I can study," I subtly excused myself from our chattering and left the meeting spot, in Catreena's car, and climbed into my own car and drove away into the cloudy skied non-sunset.

My life is so incredibly boring.

Okay so I know this is also short, but hey I'm trying to push these up to being longer, but it's soooo boring writing with out a point yet! So I swear it's gonna get better because this does have a story line that I'm following loosely. The story story part should pick up in eh a chapter or two, but until then;

Au revoir!

3 Hanner Bannaner

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