OBSERVATIONS / RECOLLECTIONS / STORIES

The Fantasy Bubble

A few weeks ago, I had a doctor’s appointment in Conyers, which is about an hour from home. Arriving there a bit early, I killed some time by wandering around Olde Town, the Conyers historic district.

As I was returning to my car, a chipper female voice behind me said, “Don’t leave yet! I need you to help me put up the flag!”

I turned to see a short, rotund middle-aged woman unlocking the door of a business facing the Olde Town parking lot.

“Won’t be but a second!” she said, disappearing inside.

I looked up. A sign identified the building as the Rockdale County Republican Party Headquarters.

Oh, the irony.

“Are you a conservative?” the woman shouted from inside the office.

“Lord, no,” I answered.

She peered around the corner at me suspiciously.

“I’m a Liberal Democrat,” I told her. “Always have been. Possibly since birth.”

“If being a liberal is a birth defect, that would explain a lot,” she replied with a snort.

“I’m perfectly normal,” I said. “The strange ones grow up to be Republicans.”

A smile was on her lips, but not in her eyes.

“However,” I added, “The flag is nonpartisan. I’ll be happy to help.”

“Thanks,” she said, handing me a medium-sized American flag and pointing to a metal flag bracket on the side of the building.

The bracket was affixed at about the height of a door header — easily within my reach, but a good two feet above hers. While she coached and clucked, I placed the end of the staff into the bracket and pushed it down into place.

When the job was done, she decided to try another tack.

“So, you want to take people’s money and give it away,” she said. “It’s MY money. I earned it.”

I told her a civilized society takes care of its own, but the Republicans believe instead in the survival of the fittest. Their philosophy is “I’ve got mine.”

She asked why it doesn’t bother me to pay people so they won’t work.

I told her the welfare queen thing is old and tiresome. I said the U.S. is in debt because the Republicans squandered the Clinton surplus and started two wars on credit.

She said Obama is purposely spending money we don’t have.

I told her she should step outside the Republican fantasy bubble (a wonderfully descriptive term) and get a dose of reality.

She said Obama wants to turn America into a Socialist country.

I told her that claim was ludicrous — an example of Fox News baloney.

After a pause, she said, “Looks like we’re going nowhere with this.”

True enough. I was content to stop there, before I got slapped, or worse.

“Thanks for the help,” she said, extending a hand.

We smiled politely and shook on it. I turned and continued toward my car.

A moment later, she called out across the parking lot. “Sir!” I looked back.