Ugh Im so tired of the ex wife... (vent and long)

My SO is primary caregiver for his kids and so they live with us. Ex wife sees them on the weekends. However, if the kids call her because they want to see her or they forgot something, she will come over. Its been like this for the last 2 years.

I think its fair for me to say that I dont want her here during whenever. We have our own life and that shouldn't include her coming as she pleases. One time she just walked in and he let her.

We went to court for many reasons and the judge told her its not ok for her to be coming as she pleases...

Well I confronted SO right now bc again she is coming and he told me that its his place and I don't have say. If she wants to come then she can.

I totally agree with you. I'd be furious as well. It's one thing to call and check to make sure it's convenient but to just come over whenever is rude. And your SO saying it's "his" house is so old school and rotten I'd be pissed!

I mean Idk if its just me but those are he kids too. And if they're asking to see her she also that right. Shed going to see Ger kids not you or your dh. But the judge is right there need to be a line of respect that that is yours AND your dh home and the call would be appreciated. Also maybe ask the kids to let you guys know when they want to invite her over. Maybe because I'm in this situation I don't understand.

I want to tell her that, but he tells me if I say anything to her he will leave me. She threatens to take the kids away whenever they argue. So I'm not allowed to stand up for myself. She is such a bitch. I'm not even allowed to help with then kids. Especially their daughter. I can't fix her hair, make sure she is dresses appropriately. If they talk back to me or disrespect me in any way I am not allowed to say anything bc the ex wife has a problem with it.

She made it very clear to him that I have not rights in my own home with their children.

lo326, she is not allowed in here. I've tried to be nice with her, but she is a bitch. I have invited her in a couple times and she walks around like its her place. She does as she pleases. So no I don't want her here. She sees her kids every weekend. There is a court order and she should follow it. The kids can see her then not when the want during the week. They are divorced and it doesn't work that way anymore.

She has put me through hell and back. She even dissected my dead cousin. She said some mean things and was texting me arguing during his funeral. So no she can't come as she pleases.

To me it sounds like he's put you as the third wheel in your own home. Tell him how you are feeling when it just the two of you. If he cannot come to common ground it would be a deal breaker. He isn't building a relationship with you at that point, he's building it with his ex with you as his back up.

Was it like this b4 u all got married? If so I wouldn't have stayed with him cuz u will have 2 live with this now if u stay with him. Unfortunately she will always be in ur life for as long as those kids are around so either deal with it or leave cuz he obviously is still putting his kids & her b4 u...if he's always let her do this then it won't ever change. This is why I have never dated a guy with kids. Did it once & they ex was a problem along with his kid....couldn't deal or live with it. So glad dh didn't have kids with his ex...lo is his 1st but I have 2 & their father is not in their lives at all!

We are not married. In the beginning she wasn't around. She hardly saw them yet she set the rules. She has been in there lives on a constant now for about a few months. But before that she still had a say so when it came to me.