Insights and comments from my journey into discovery

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An important, and vital, aspect of our growth is releasing those aspects of our past that don’t serve us anymore. Okay, I know that sounds kind of “floofy” so let’s make it more real.

We’ve all had those experiences that after they have made the transition from a current event into a memory cause us to go “ouch” whenever we think of them as we feel the unpleasant and unwanted sensations of an emotional charge attached to them. As we remember them we wish they never had happened, had acted differently, or the other players had. Essentially we wish we could go back in time and re-write them with a very different outcome.

Sometimes, through the course of time the emotional charge dissipates, slowly but surely, until they become simply memories and nothing more. Instead of the instantaneous sting of an unpleasant emotion we simply feeling nothing, not numb but neutral. We no longer have to try and avoid them or attempt to distract ourselves in a futile effort to outrun them.

As I mentioned sometimes that’s the course they follow. However, all too often, they don’t. Our subconscious chooses the next, but by far not the best option, to quickly bury them deep into the recesses of our mind with the hope they will never surface into our consciousness again. We forget that we even forgot them. It’s like they never happened. But they did, and even though we may not be consciously aware they are there, they still are. Playing a role in the flavouring of every life experience we have.

Have you ever had those moments where for no apparent reason you suddenly feel sad, discouraged, or any of the other bouquet of labelled emotions we deem unpleasant? We look around at our current circumstances and are poignantly aware of the irony of the experience. Everything in our physical circumstances stands in abrupt contrast to the emotion we are feeling yet we cannot deny we feel it. In fact it is so powerful it often overrides the current pleasure we should be feeling and taints the essence of what it should be.

Our reflex response is to look around our external surroundings desperately searching for the perpetrator of this heinous act. Baring that we dive into trying to analyze and resolve the discrepancy. As we continue to focus on the emotions we find ourselves beginning to create plausible scenarios on why, and from that effortlessly create a litany of potential and unwanted futures.

Emotions are very powerful and often override the reality of our present experience. We decide that maybe this present moment isn’t as good as we think it is. And maybe the future isn’t as rosy as we originally hoped. Our emotions don’t lie right? So it must be us that are mistaken. Maybe our dreams and desires aren’t as possible as we originally thought. As we continue to nurture these unpleasant scenarios we continue to bounce up and down on the diving board of the present moment and suddenly launch into a very different future than the one we knew only a scant few moments ago. Day has essentially turned to night.

Now let’s talk about what’s really happening. Those unruly emotions lurking in the backwoods of your mind would dearly love to leave your presence and be on their merry way leaving you with the wondrous feelings of relief that accompany an inert memory. As a matter of fact they are very aware that, until we release them, they provide very persistent road blocks to the manifesting of our dreams and desires. Slowly but surely they emerge from our unconscious mind and wind their way through our conscious awareness riding off into the sunset never to be seen again. Often we’re not even aware this process is happening. Other times we are. One of the best ways to identify this very valuable and liberating process is when we feel these emotions for no identifiable reason.

So if you’re feeling sad, feel sad. If you’re feeling mad, feel mad. Understand and know that it is simply a transient, albeit uncomfortable sensation of an emotion. It is not a proclamation of the future or an omen of bad tidings. Resist the urge to use it as fodder for a undesired future that will be a complete fantasy of your wondrous imagination. Don’t incessantly search for the perpetrator of this injustice in your external surroundings.

Simply “be” with it. I believe you will discover, as I did, that it will leave as quickly as it came and you have just allowed one more obstacle to the complete manifestation of your dreams to bid it’s adieu and make way for a new and greater manifestation of who you really are.

Have you ever felt like you don’t fit in, or for some unknown reason you’re not in the space/place you’re supposed to be?

I know I have, often, and continue to do so. As a matter of fact I’m feeling a bit of that right now. While this experience often has a undesired connotation to it I find it means the exact opposite.

To explain I’m going to use an old saying we used to have when observing someone we decided was just a little too high on themselves, we called it “Being too big for their britches”. When we lathered the judgement on them it was often accompanied by “Who do they think they are!” and ” Someone/something should cut them down to size. They are just like the rest of us. Who do they think they are to be saying and doing what they are?”.

There was a time I probably would have joined their tirade however now I would shout, “Congratulations!, you’re on the brink of a miracle. Or, you’re gazing over the precipice of defeat. It really all depends on you and the choices you make from this moment forward.”

It is in our very basic nature to grow, expand, and evolve. To consistently outgrow our current external surroundings and internal experiences and step into the undiscovered land of growth, abundance, mystery, challenges, and miracles. The key word here is “step”.

One of the first, and best, indicators that it’s time to step is that we feel too big for our britches. As we look around us we experience the discomfort that comes from being the odd one out. The peers we used to feel so at home with we don’t anymore. As we look at our surroundings and those things that used to please us we realize they don’t anymore.

We wonder why, what’s wrong with us? We try and try to re-feel the familiarity of the normal we used to but no matter how hard we try we can’t. Other’s will even, with the best of intentions, assure us that it’s just a phase, or it’s just a transitional experience and we will soon return to the comfortable “groove” of our life.

But what if we don’t want to? What if we don’t want to fit in or return to the groove, return to the normal we used to embrace but simply doesn’t satiate us anymore. What if we are so done with it that even if we could, we choose not to. Not that there was necessary anything “bad” about what used to be, it’s just that it’s not who we now are.

I’m not saying for one second that you immediately pull up roots, sell everything you have, and move to a grass hut on a mountain side. Actually I’m suggesting the exact opposite. The step you take does not have with anything to do with your external world.

The catalyst for change always takes place inside us first. We look around at the once so familiar, that now seems so foreign and strange, and make a choice. You will often have to make this choice many times, but each time it’s the same choice. The choice to let go of that which doesn’t serve you anymore and accept the known, and the unknown, that is the new manifestation of who you are.

So what does this new manifestation look like? To answer that, let me ask you this “What do you dream about? What are the fantastical movies you create, with you acting out the starring role? What do you dare not tell anyone because they will confirm you are now completely off your rocker.” Those are some excellent starting points. I personally lost track of how many of my internal “crazies” are now every day “normals”.

Just this morning, I received a note from one of my dear friends sharing a dream that she and her husband have chosen to step into. She also mentioned how she’s pretty certain people will think they are crazy to which I replied “That’s one of the first indicators you’re headed in the right direction.” They don’t know how they are going to do it but are starting to head off towards it.

It’s not crazy. They have just out grown their britches. It’s not crazy, it’s only natural. The crazy part is when people stay static. The crazy part is when they choose to try and fit in a set of britches now two sizes too small.

If you and I were having a conversation and you shared your own story of not fitting in, feeling maybe even alone because you don’t relate to the people, places, and events in your life I would reach over the table, shake your hand, and say “Congratulations, you’re on the edge of a miracle.”

When I was young there was a black and white television show (yes I’m that old) called Gunsmoke. The hero was a town sheriff named Matt Dillion. Each week Marshall Dillion would save the day, dodging maelstroms of bullets with ease and firing off hundreds of rounds from his six gun. In all my years of watching there are two things I never saw him do, reloading his gun or going to the bathroom.

I remember, in the old days, when I used to lead weekly meditation gatherings, someone said to me “It must be nice to be in a place where nothing bothers you.” My response was “We don’t ever master life, we master managing life.”

Life, no matter who you are, is a wonderful adventure of crests and troughs. One day you’re majestically riding the crest of the wave and the next …. well … you’re not. But that’s life. So often I think people figure that once they “have it all together” they can simply glide on easy street for the rest of their life.

It’s just not true. Not for them. Not for me. Not for their heroes and idols. Not even for Marshal Dillion.

No matter how profound or profane your current physical circumstances may look, wherever you go there you are.

The people we look up to and admire. Those people who we assume have it all together, don’t. They do not get a winning hand dealt to them ever day. The true power they embody is derived from realizing and understanding that fact, and developing their own set of tools for managing their way through them.

And that’s the best news you’ll hear today. True freedom, peace, and power does not come from attaining a place of glorious enlightenment where you never have problems and always are dealt a winning hand. It comes from knowing whatever hand you’re dealt you have the ability to manage your way through them. You don’t have to incessantly worry about what’s coming around the next corner because whatever it is you have the character and ability to overcome it and have learned that right on the other side of the challenge is the next victory.

It’s quite simple really, the variety of “Matt Dillions” in your life, whether it’s a mentor or an idol have got to where they are by consistently making one very basic choice. They chose to walk through the challenges, problems, and tragedies that stopped others.

I have to admit I live a pretty cool lifestyle. As I type this I’m relaxing in a coffee shop gazing out at the brilliance of new fallen snow of mountain tops. Seven days ago I was meditating on the shores of the Gulf of Mexico.

Having said that, I still have frustrations and challenges that I manage. Now, because I’ve cleaned up my “baggage” my problems now are a lot more fun than they used to be, however, I still have my up days and down days. I still have obstacles jump out from behind a desire I’m heading towards. When this happens, I reach into my well worn tool pouch and pull out methods, techniques, and understandings and manage my way through them. The very same tools I’ve discovered, used, and cherished from the moment I took my first step into living a life focused on evolution instead of survival.

(Disclaimer – No, I have not received a terminal diagnosis that will kill me in precisely 30 years, it’s just a catchy title :))

In thirty years I’ll be dead. That is by far the most freeing truth in my life.

And here’s why.

First, it very effectively lights a roaring fire under my butt. This month is the fourth anniversary of my teaching workshops in the United States. As a matter of fact a couple of weeks ago I taught at the very same resort where I taught that workshop. It is eight years since I received my Reiki Master’s training. During a discussion this past weekend I heard myself say how I have been on this journey for ten years. When I think back to those early days it seems like an eternity while at the same time it feels like it was only yesterday.

Within that understanding is the spark that lights the fire that is currently singeing the hairs on my butt….. but I’ll mercifully move onto another visual…… 🙂

Before I know it I’ll be dead. If the next ten, twenty, thirty years ahead pass as quickly as the past decade I have way too much to do before the end. One of my mentors Bob Proctor says “You don’t have to slow down just calm down”. That is one of the foundational mantras I do my best to embody every day.

I don’t have time to waste.
I don’t have time to procrastinate over a step I know I must make.
I don’t have time to complain about what was or what could be, I need to focus on here and now because that’s where miracles reside.
I don’t have time to blame or dig through the forensics of anyone or anything outside myself. I am solely responsible for how I manage my present moment.
I don’t have time to wait until tomorrow to act
I don’t have time to put off taking a risk and a step of faith

By the way …. neither do you ………

Here’s why I have nothing to fear.

No matter how bad I may “screw up” or how idiotic a decision I make is, I will only have to live with the consequences for a short period of time. Those of you who are reading this at the ripe old age of twenty may look at the ominous number of thirty years and view it as an eternity, however I know there are many others who, like me, have experienced firsthand how fast the years can fly by.

My mistakes will not dog me forever, it’s all good because before I know it I’ll be dead.

Some people have mid life crises. I say it’s just half time in the biggest game of your life. The only game of your life. Only one person can play it, YOU. Only one person can experience the excitement of possibilities, the anguish of transient defeats, and the ecstasy of victory.

Only you.

So how about jumping with me? It’s time for me to launch into a new and even more exciting version of who I AM.

After all what’s the worst that can happen, you die? Okay, so now we have that out of the way let’s play the game like our life depends on it.

Because it does.

I’m not saying for one second we live everyday waiting to be hit by a truck or have a stray meteor land on our head. I am suggesting we shed our fear of death. For me the best way to do that is fill every day with living.

And if the “worst” happens and you die before me, save a place at the table and I’ll see you there. We’ll share our adventures of how we lived and regale each other with our exploits.

For me the tragedy will not be that we die. The tragedy will be if we have nothing to talk about when we do.

The photo I’ve attached to this post may at first seem incredibly irrelevant to the topic of this writing however let me assure you it’s profoundly important.

For those of you who may be reading this in a version without the photo it is a shot of Halloween decorations outside the administrative building of a resort in Kissimmee, Florida where I am currently staying.

I’ve just finished teaching a Reiki Level 1 and 2 workshop in Orlando (Kissimmee to be exact) and am spending my Monday relaxing and catching up on emails. My “office” is a patio table and umbrella by a lagoon shaped pool. If it gets a little warm basking in the 88 degree temps I can hop in the pool to cool off.

The thing I am most amazed at is how normal this feels.

Three years ago, almost to the day, I taught my first Reiki workshop in Florida. It was at this very resort and I vividly remember looking at the same decorations in the front yard. My first teaching trip here was like going to the moon. I remember how surreal it all felt as I walked around the grounds, took periodic dips in the pool, and strolled through the one bedroom condo that was my home for the week I was here. You see, people like me didn’t do this kind of “stuff”. Yet here I was. To top it all off, I was “working” here.

I had chosen to dream of it about a year earlier and every time I would look at the photo of the lagoon shaped pools posted on the hotel’s website and visualize myself sitting by it, it launched a vigorous assault to my sensibilities. Oh I talked about it, visualized it just like you’re supposed to. I read the books, and listened to the workshops telling how all things were possible. I had even experienced flavourings of it on different occasions. But this? This was so far outside my normal that no matter how hard I tried it just didn’t seem real.

Yet I persisted. I kept choosing to believe it was true. I keep learning and practicing and growing.

And it finally happened. I remember walking around the grounds the last day I was here choosing, dreaming, and hoping that I would return. That trips like this would become a regular event. That they would become normal. That was even further into the realms of fantasy and delusion. Sure it may happen once, even twice, but to be a regular occurrence? To be normal? I don’t think so!

The months passed by after returning and slowly but surely the desires of travelling and teaching continued to grow and manifest. One by one, workshops would appear, like the smattering of rain drops that at first go almost un-noticed yet are the forbearers of an approaching thunderstorm. Each and every time I would feel the full body sensation of excitement and disbelief that it had happened again.

Then, without any warning, the sensation vanished. It was at a workshop in San Jose in January of 2013. Where I live in western Canada January weather is a mixture of way below freezing temperatures, ice, snow, and cold, cold, cold. In a matter of hours I went from an environment of -20 degrees to + 18. As I stood in the window of my hotel suite and watched the palm trees gracefully dancing with the wind I noticed something different. Not in them but in me. That cocktail of excitement and giddiness of being somewhere people like me weren’t supposed to be wasn’t there.

Interestingly my first response was to feel guilty.

I should be appreciating the blessing of what the experience was offering. So many people dream of a life style like this. I know I did, and now I’m living it. Not once or twice but on a very regular basis.

Then the revelation hit me like a ton of bricks. The reason I wasn’t feeling anything other than normal was because this was now my new normal. For “people like me” this was now a very normal experience. It was perfectly normal to travel through-out Canada and the United States teaching and sharing what I have been given to share. To meditate on a mountain one weekend and feel the waves of the pacific ocean washing over my feet the next. To bundle up in a touque and scarf and wander out to grab my morning coffee in down town Toronto and the next week apply sun block to my sparsely populated head <grin> so I didn’t get sunburn while walking along side the ocean in southern Florida.

Here’s the really cool thing that happens when your normal changes. Now, every time a workshop manifests in an exotic and exciting location I don’t say Holy Smokes! I say “Well yah, that’s exactly what I would expect to happen”. That’s now normal for me. It wasn’t at one time but it is now.

Your template of what is normal is very powerful and plays a key role in the everyday experiences you have. You don’t have to try and “make” them happen. They just do. Somewhere along the line you have accepted different versions of normal for your life. Some you like, some you don’t.

The good news is that while they are incredibley powerful, they are also very intelligent and can be changed. Without limitation, and even the remotest understanding of what is reasonable or even possible for someone like you. There is no such thing as too big, too much, or too extravagant. They will take whatever instructions we give them and if we persist in exhibiting to them that we are serious about change, will change.

It may not be easy or instant but it is, without question, possible. Even inevitable.

It all depends on you. How bad do you want it? Bad enough to believe on the inside and take steps on the outside even though it doesn’t make sense and borders on ridiculous? Bad enough to keep on doing it for however long it takes no matter what?

Your normal won’t be convinced easily. It’s probably seen you talk the talk and maybe even walk the walk for a short while and then return to what they have been taught is normal. You are going to have to prove to them, and yourself, that you are serious.

If you do. If you persist. You can change your normal into whatever you wish it to be.

When that happens, what once was a fantasy now becomes your new reality.

Never forget that experiencing abundance in your life, in all it’s forms, requires you to receive it. It’s often overlooked. I think, in part, because it requires us to do nothing.

Receiving does not require effort. You are not “doing” anything. You are not looking for something. You can’t try to receive. You can’t force receiving. There isn’t a magic formula or process that you can force. It simply requires you to stop, relax, and receive. The universe, by it’s very nature, is abundance. In so many ways a life overflowing with abundance requires us to do nothing other than receive.

Receiving is easy. Receiving is fun. Receiving requires us to expend energy however it does not require us to “work”. In my younger years I was an avid football fan. At the beginning of a game the ref and the two team captains would approach the center of the field. The ref would flip a coin to decide who would kick off and who would receive. The winning captain would always choose to receive, never to kick off. He knew what the intention of the game was. It was to take the football and get it into the other teams’ end zone. He couldn’t very well do that unless he had the ball. By choosing to receive he forced the other team into delivering (kicking) the ball to his team. He knew they wouldn’t know exactly where the ball was going to land so they had to be alert and aware.

However they didn’t have to go looking for it. As a matter of fact if they keep looking for where the ball might appear it was a sure bet they would not be prepared to receive the ball when it showed up. They needed to stay alert. To literally keep their heads up and stay flexible and be ready to move when the ball appeared in their vision. (Awareness)

We would do very well to emulate this choice.

The definition of receiving is “Something given, offered, or transmitted”. Receiving by it’s very definition does not entail direct action. It does not mean going and finding something. It means receiving. Something has been offered to us.

When the Pizza Guy delivers pizza to our door we don’t have to rip it from their hands or beat them into submission. You may laugh at that last statement but isn’t that so often exactly what we do in the process of manifesting?

Simple choose to receive. Let your morning begin with the statement “I choose to receive all the wonderful gifts that my manifesting efforts will deliver to me today.”

Don’t think about this next statement too much. Just remember it and one day it will make perfect sense to you.

As you continue to create, and receive you will come to the realization that you don’t have to receive anything because you already have it. All you are doing is releasing the illusion that you don’t.

Within the previous statement is where the “real work” takes place. As I mentioned earlier manifesting your dreams and desires takes work. As a matter of fact it will probably be the hardest work you will ever do while at the same time being the absolute best investment of your energy there is.

It is possible, not easy, but most definitely possible. For me, one of my biggest challenges was learning how to look, and interact, with my world in a way that’s often diametrically opposed to the way everyone else does. I have done it, and continue to nurture the growth and expansion of it.

Trust me when I say there will be times where it feels a lot like you’ve slid down the rabbit hole into the land of Oz. Trust me as well, when I offer from one who has lived there for some time now, that it’s the best place to be.

I’ll conclude with a statement I read from a Indian Mystic that I would like to echo for myself.

He said “There is a field where everything and all things are possible, I will meet you there.”

During one of my regular conversations with the Universe the topic found its way to belief systems. Particular mine, and a quick check as to whether I was thinking, choosing, and behaving as thou I really believed them to be true. That may sound like a simple enough question and while it is, it is a most valuable one.

For me a belief system is simply a rule or truth that I have choose to define my day to day experience. It is the foundation for all my thoughts, decisions, and behaviours.

When it comes right down to it we are the ones who choose our truths. At times we may feel they have been forced upon us by our parents, our society, our financial structures, our pasts or our projected futures but in the end we choose.

Some of us wait until we have all the “facts” hoping they will make our decision for us. I’ve found that if we are waiting for all the pieces to slip into place we’ll be waiting a long time. As a matter of fact those beliefs, or truths, that are the launching pad for an expanding and evolving future usually fly directly in the face of the “facts”.

The beliefs that you have chosen need to be nurtured and fed, and most importantly defended. They are your stronghold for your future and there will be times when you will have to fight for their very survival. You see, there will always be those who have their own set of beliefs, who differ from yours, and are compelled to unleash the dogs of war upon yours until your succumb to the truth. But it’s their truth not yours. These attackers will present themselves to you through circumstances and events in your external world, but understand this very important truth. They will fight the battle in your external world but you will win the war completely within your thoughts and heart.

Resist the urge to exhaust your resources in convincing them that what you have chosen to be true is, because it is a losing battle. Peoples and nations have been fighting that battle for centuries with profuse bloodshed and carnage without a glimpse or resolution.

It doesn’t matter what they think, it only matters what you choose.

Your truth is your truth. Nurture it as those it was the most precious gem in your world because it is. Guard and defend it as thou your life depends upon because it does.

I may think your truths are wrong, nonsensical, ridiculous, or even foolhardy and will surely lead to destruction.

But it doesn’t matter what I think.

It only matters what you choose.

So I asked myself, “Do I really believe my chosen truths?” I thought about it awhile, remembering the “crazy” decisions I had made in the past and the ones I am contemplating for the future. I re-assured myself that I must be living my life upon my truths because no one in their “right” mind would be doing what I am doing and seriously thinking I will continue to do even more in the future

This also puts me in some pretty good company. Good ol’ Christopher Columbus was crazy because was sailing helter skelter over the edge of the world, the Wright brothers had the wild idea that man could fly, lunatic Steve Jobs thought he could squeeze thousands of songs into a device that would fit in your shirt pocket. And Russ Littau, a farm kid from Central Alberta, figures he can change the world……….