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Why do the English pronounce Lanzarote with the final “e”, but not Tenerife? Who knows. But I suspect any attempt I make to pronounce it correctly will come across as pretentious, and have little effect on changing the status quo.

Chatting to some fellow Derry passengers earlier in the week who’d been here before, they described it as being like Buncrana – a rather tacky and seedy seaside resort in Donegal, full of cheap souvenir and Tshirt shops. They weren’t far wrong.

I’d read that it was good for electronics and silverware, and wanted to buy my son a pair of cuff-links for his graduation. So it seemed like a good place to do Rog’s favourite pastime of “aimless wandering”. I was heading roughly for the modernistic auditorium, but happy to take my time getting there. The first obstacle we encountered was that there are major roadworks taking place on the promenade immediately outside the port – while there were a few signs once you got ashore, there was nothing in the Cruise News that had warned us of this.

We had a couple of espressos, and then started meandering among the jewellery shops looking for “gemellos”. We were a little bit stuck between really cheap and poor quality shops, and then high end jewellers selling them at £300, a bit out of my budget! Eventually found a really lovely wee shop with a helpful assistant – chose a pair shaped like buttons for 12 euro, and also chose a pair of stud earrings with the olivina green stone typical of the Canaries. For me, not my son.

Our aimless wandering continued – a few too many grafittied back streets for my liking, and Rog’s feet were starting to ache. So we agreed to split up – I’d press on to the auditorium, and he’d go back to the boat. The auditorium was an absolutely stunning building, full of graceful curves and arches. And as I walked around the back there was some of the oddest graffiti I’ve ever seen, where the rocks were illustrated with portraits of musicians past and present, from Michael Jackson to Amy Winehouse, Beethoven to Bob Geldof…

I wandered back into town, went round the market of Africa, though many of the stalls were closing for siesta, and had a sangria and some Canaries cheese in the Apollo just beside the Plaza de Espana, with its huge cross monument.

Back on board for 4 pm, in time for Sammi’s afternoon trivia quiz, which we won! Had a final dip in the pool, posed for a photo in the jacuzzi with a colourful cocktail, and got chatting to some fellow Norn Irn travellers at the bar, who knew a mutual friend. Packed (bags have to be outside the door by 1 am), changed for dinner where we treated ourselves in le Bistro. I had escargots, mushroom soup served in a bread bowl, salad caprese, lobster thermidor, and cherries jubilee Gave tips to our regular waiters back in the 7 Seas, watched the 10.30 show of Here Come the Girls, and enjoyed a bit of the deck party until we sailed at midnight.

Set my alarm for the morning, and got ready for the last night on board.

Cruise tip of the day: Packing your bag to leave it outside after midnight is tricky! Work back from the outfit you’ll be wearing for the journey home, what you want to wear on the last evening, and remember that all your liquids will have to go in the check-in luggage. Though you will see it again before it goes on the plane, so you have a chance to add in or take out anything that’s in the wrong place.