MARTY (as if it’s a stupid question) To make it look like I’m in danger.

STU But the gunman’s five kilometres away.

MARTY Shut up. It’s dark. Who’s gonna know?

STU (joking) Sure you don’t want a flak jacket?

MARTY Actually, that’s a bloody good idea. See if we can borrow one from the cops, will ya?

I didn’t see this widely reported, but this week four reporters and staff from Channel in Brisbane were dismissed when it was revealed that they had faked a cross to a helicopter supposedly hovering over the forest where the police were searching for evidence in the sad case of Daniel Morcombe.

In fact, the helicopter was sitting safe on top of the Channel Nine building.

Although we rely on tank water, we haven’t mastered the art of frugal showers.

The tanks have been running low, but there was rain around this weekend. which meant the gutters needed to be cleared of leaves.

Cleaning the gutters is fairly tricky, and always results in lacerations across the back of the hand that only just heal before the gutters are next due for cleaning. According to the log of OH&S incident reports in Dees Lane, a scaphoid fracture is the worst injury that has been sustained in this street,

Finally, after years of experimentation, and enoromous investments in inadequate products, I’ve found the perfect tool for the job.

A golf iron.

Not just any iron. I find the No 3 iron has the correct pitch for the purpose, and the Daiwa had the perfect feel. I think I need a bit of work on my grip, but I’m happy with my stance otherwise.

Of course, others will need to conduct their own experiments to find the right club for their local conditions.

All this rain and talk of golf clubs reminds me of the last round I played with Lee Trevino. As storm clouds surrounded the course, all the other groups retired to the clubhouse. When thunder clapped all around us and lightening lit up the dark sky, I assumed we’d follow them to the bar. However, nonchalantly, Lee continued to play, holding one club above his head between shots.

It must have pleased Mark Twain very much in 1897 that he was able to tell a reporter from the New York Times that ‘the report of my death is an exaggeration’. In fact, as the 1907 photo above shows, he lived for a great many more years. (till 1910, to be precise)

Steve Jobs stood down as CEO of Apple for health reasons today. It is unlikely that he will miss the annual salary he was paid as CEO – $1.

Apple shares dropped by 5% immediately after the announcement.

Despite the obituaries published everywhere, he is not only still alive but remains the Chairman of the Board.

In 2004, Jobs was diagnosed with a pancreatic tumour (an islet cell neuroendocrine tumor), and subsequently underwent major surgery (a Whipple’s Procedure). In 2009, he required a liver transplant. He has been on medical leave of absence since January, but did present at the iPad 2 launch and iCloud launch this year.

If it feels like Steve has been around for a long time, it is because he has. The rarely seen video below shows a young Steve launching the Macintosh computer in 1984, to a standing ovation. The formula hasn’t changed much after all these years, although the black turtleneck (mock St. Croix) was introduced in 1998.

Tony Dietz had the first Mac in college. He was studying aeronautical engineering for the Navy, so probably needed it. Jonesy and I quickly discovered that MacPaint was perfectly designed to make golf score cards which included a map of our improvised Royal St John’s course. The RPAH car park has not been a safe place to park since then.