There will be times when you are completely exhausted and frustrated. A caregiver ends up doing the work for three people. You have to shoulder your own, the patient’s and the caregiver’s responsibilities.

Find out what possible scenarios you may have to witness. If necessary, visit the hospital unit beforehand, without your patient. That way, you can steel yourself, without showing your distress to the patient.

Often, doctors and staff choose to inform the caregiver of the present status and proposed measures, instead of the patient. You may be required to convey this information to your patient. In such situations, sometimes the caregiver is tempted to withhold disturbing information. Instead, they try and cover up, saying all is well. However, I would suggest that the patient is always as well informed as possible.

Food plays an incredibly important part in chronic disease. Chronic diseases generally have prescribed diets and restrictions. As we normally eat three meals a day, this restriction becomes a constant reminder of the condition. Even if the patient is feeling relatively well, he is not allowed to forget that he has a serious ailment.

The initial protective instincts for a loved one, may
prompt you into trying to do everything yourself. If
assistance is offered, do not hesitate to accept it. This
will help you conserve energy, as also give yourself and
your patient, a change.

The caregiver is sometimes forced into the role of the disciplinarian, as you have to help the patient follow his diet, medication and treatment plan.

Perhaps, you may assume the role of a teacher or guide, in trying to motivate the patient to live actively and positively.

Concurrently, you are restraining your own emotions and trying to act objective and level-headed.

Unfortunately, there may be occasions when you are forced to see your patient physically changed, hooked to all kinds of devices, with different needles and tubes attached. At such times, even the nature of the patient may be different. He may be tired, uncommunicative, depressed or irritable. Disbelief and consequently, detachment can set into your approach.

You may have to remind yourself about how that person truly is, under normal circumstances. That he is still hidden there, below all this trauma. Help him remember this as well. Together, you must bring him back to normalcy.

Hospital units may leave little privacy, to both, the patient and caregiver. Expressing affection in front of others, does not come easily to everyone, especially in reserved societies. Public displays are frowned upon.

Due to all the above factors, routine display of love and affection may become limited. Consciously avoid this. It is a well accepted fact, that demonstration of love and affection, play a huge role in healing. The human touch, especially of a near and dear one, has been known to lower anxiety, mental trauma and even physical pain.

Don’t allow yourself to be intimidated or embarrassed by the situation. Your patient will benefit immensely, by you verbalizing your love and offering your reassuring touch. Tender Loving Care, or TLC, can prove to be one of your patient’s most potent remedial therapy.

Your role is a decisive one, in deciding how long and more importantly, how well, your loved one lives. I hope that this material helps you accomplish a substantial quality of life, for yourself as well as your patient.