Hi Karen,
I understand exactly what you are going through. While I am on this site as a stroke survivor, having had two strokes this past year at age 55, I am also the legal guardian of my older sister who is mentally retarded and has had numerous health problems as she ages. She is low-functioning and rarely can explain what is bothering her. I have dealt with so many hospitalizations and even long term rehab.

First of all, I don't know what your brother is entitled to in your country so I can only explain how it works here. My sister is not my dependent because she is an adult. As an adult she is classified as disabled and entitled to government disability payments and health insurance. I'm hoping there is a similar program that is available for your brother.

Please don't feel guilty about the care you are seeking for your brother, or not knowing what is bothering him. I'm going to assume that his is with you so chances are you know his behavior and signals better than anyone. Do you realize how amazing it is that you are caring for him? This isn't a job you signed up for but you are doing it. So many people can't even comprehend the amount of responsibility and worry is involved in caring for a special needs sibling. Your brother is very fortunate to have you. I do understand that at times we feel we're not doing enough, or should have noticed something going on. But there is a lot of guess work. Just remember, our siblings know we care about them even if they don't tell us. That is a gift.

I do hope you can get some sort of assistance for him. Perhaps the hospital has a social worker that can help you with the process. Best of luck with everything.