She Tries To Keep Dream From Becoming Nightmare

Small Business

Growing up in Louisiana, Ruby Homayssi collected teapots and dreamed of serving her mother's Cajun recipes with homemade scones in her own tea room.

It was one of those Liz Taylor close-up kind of visions - soft and fuzzy, shot through lots of gauze.

A lot of women share Homayssi's dream of owning their own business. A recent study commissioned by the Clinton administration found that women own a third of all companies in the United States and women-owned businesses are growing faster than other companies.

Homayssi, 51, lives her dream as proprietor of Elmira's Pantry - ''A quaint tea room with lagniappe'' - on Edgewater Drive in College Park. But quaint doesn't quite describe the heartache of running her own business. And lagniappe, Cajun for ''something extra,'' has turned out to be a boatload of money troubles.

''It seems like every turn you make, there's another obstacle,'' she said. ''If it's not the city, it's the county. If it's not the county, it's the state or the federal government. And if it's not the government, it's someone else.''

As often happens, construction delays and cost overruns ate most of Homayssi's government-backed small-business loan. Out of cash, she opened the restaurant without a ceiling and opted for low-cost florescent lighting.

Unable to afford the antiques she needed to create the tea-room atmosphere, she set aside space at the front of the store as a furniture consignment shop. To passersby, the place looks like a tea room. The price tags are only visible upon closer inspection.

If Elmira's Pantry was owned by a big chain, say Darden Restaurants Inc., it would have been closed by now. By the numbers, the tea room hasn't been a great investment.

''Cash flow has been a problem,'' Homayssi said, in the classic, entrepreneur-speak used to describe everything from a simple overdraft to a government foreclosure. ''Let's be honest. Every penny I have coming in goes to cover expenses.''

The place may close anyway, unless Homayssi can find some investors to help her pay off a loan from the Small Business Administration. Money got so tight a few months ago that bankers froze the cash in her corporate account.

''They want you down on your knees, and my knees are bad,'' she said. ''Nobody accepts that you are doing the best you can. Most of these people who come down hard on you couldn't make it if they were out there on their own.''

During the past year, Homayssi has looked for money in a lot of pockets. Government programs fell short of her expectations. Lately, she's been leaning toward taking on a partner to share the burdens and the rewards.

''I need to be able to get out of here and network, and right now I can't do it,'' she said. ''Right now, I am working on the survival of my small business.''

The SBA has allowed her to continue to operate her business while she looks for a way to repay her loan. She realizes that her best efforts may not be enough to save her business. But even that wouldn't be the end.

''If I close down, I'll find a way to reopen,'' she said.

''Long term, I know I will have a bed and breakfast with a tea room in it. That's my dream.''

After what she has been through, would she do it again? Absolutely.

''If you keep working at something, even if you know the odds seem so high you'll never overcome them, when the bottom falls out you can always say I did everything I could,'' she said. ''If you keep saying 'Woe is me,' you are going to go curl up in some corner and never come out again.''