Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Don't f**king tell me that you're so sorry that you want to kick my kid out and you know this is such a rough time for us right now. He isn't being malicious, he can't help that he is stronger than the other kids in the class. He is, however, fighting with other kids over a toy. I agree he shouldn't take a toy from another kid but you are aware that he is TWO, right?

He moved to the 3s classroom at your insistance (you are aware he is NOT 3 yet, right?) because he didn't fit in to the mold of what you were looking for in the 2s room and your staff was incapable of managing him and his physical abilities - I believe the words were he is "becoming too much of a force" therefore we were hoping that the 3s room, which is more of an all day preschool curriculum, would be a better fit. Notice, key words is hoping.

Again - he is NOT THREE YEARS OLD! So now, because he doesn't fit in one class or the other, you want to kick him out. I can't even tour new daycare centers because again - as you are well aware - I AM ON BEDREST. It isn't like he has had any major changes going on lately. Oh wait, maybe so, let's check the list: Again, I am on bed rest, his evening routine has changed, he is on STEROIDS for Reactive Airway Disease, he is in a new classroom with new teachers AND he has a sibling arriving in a month. No, none of that could possibly make a child act out, right?

Oh, and don't get me started on the fact that you are the 5th Director we have worked with as parents in the last 18 months. FIVE. Thanks for the communication folks. I know there are multiple centers and you guys rotate but how the hell are you not telling parents that there is now a new person in charge? You tell us you want to kick him out yet you haven't consulted with the behavior specialist. WTF COW?!?!

I know Ricky can be a "force." I am aware my child is not perfect. What I am not aware of is how typical toddler behavior is forcing him out of the classroom and center. You haven't called me or my husband during the day to alert us to this behavior. You choose to bombard us with a behavior report at a 5pm pickup when nobody has the time to discuss. This is NOT acceptable. I know you're in a convenient location, but you have been caring for him since he was 18 mos old. We need to share in the responsibility of what is going on here.

BTW - he does time out for us at home with no problem, why is it that you are unable to manage him during a time out session? Oh, yeah, you don't REMOVE HIM FROM THE SITUATION - you expect him to sit in the classroom with everyone running around and having fun around him. Is it me or does that sound just stupid?

Go screw yourself, we will find another center, because you know - we're itching to make ANOTHER change in his already upside down life. And honestly, I can't trust you with him now without thinking that you're biased against my child. Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Isn't there a new show on TLC called that or something? People eating detergent, pulling their hair out, that sort of thing?

FYI, that show is NOT my secret addition. No, it's Dexter, the series about a serial killer on Showtime. Since I am on bed rest and need something to fill my time, I can't possibly do something constructive like crochet a baby blanket or learn about Sharepoint. Nope, not me, I am watching tv and turning my brain to mush. I started watching on Saturday and have made it through the first season so far. Netflix via Wii in the bedroom is a dangerous thing folks.

Ok, let me correct that. All of the first season with the exception of the last episode. Then, unknowingly, I started season two, thinking to myself " Woohoo, I finished season one, it was so good, must start next season!"

Yeah, not so much. I watched the first 3 minutes or so and while it was doing the whole "Previously, on Dexter..." and I was all WTF! I haven't seen this stuff!! ARGH!!!!!!

I totally just ruined the season finale for myself.

Right now, I'm in the living room, no Netflix, but my husband, well he's resourceful. He located a copy of Season 1, Ep 11 (remember, I'm on bed rest, limited trips up and down the stairs, I'm not quite ready to go to bed) somewhere out on the magical interwebs so I start watching it.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Things are so different this time around being pregnant. Aside from having a toddler to care for, everything is just completely different. Friends assured me that according to old wives tales, this meant that I was surely having a girl. A few ways things are different this time around:

I am 31 wks along and I still get phantom pains in my breasts and have throughout the entire pregnancy.

I felt the baby move around 14-15 wks. With Ricky, I didn't feel him until around 19 wks.

My BP started creeping up way earlier than last time around, around 28 wks this time vs 32 wks last time.

Hypoglycemia. Not gestational diabetes, thank goodness, but I am super sensitive to too much or not enough sugar. This has really put a dent in my late night ice cream snack.

A new OB, who I completely trust and adore. Last time I made a late term OB switch at 36 wks, read about that here. It has made my experience completely different and much more relaxed.

Lastly - I am on bed rest. Have been since the beginning of this week. If you're an FB friend, I am sure you are aware of this. More on this topic in another post.

So yes, completely and utterly different. My OB assures me that this is completely normal. I am only sharing this because if you think you've got pregnancy figured out, maybe you do and then again, maybe you don't. I know I sure as heck didn't.

Another thing that is different. First time around, I couldn't put down the baby books. I had the nursery all ready to go (mostly.) This time, I don't think I have picked up What To Expect in over a month and I really would prefer to not discuss the state of the room that will be the nursery. I have about 6-8 wks left, depending on how bedrest goes, and I have a huge list of things to be done. It's kinda overwhelming, but at the same time, what do I really need - a bassinet, some onesies, some blankets and some diapers. It'll be alright.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy New Year peeps in blogland. If you're still there that is. Welcome to 2011, should be an interesting year for my growing family, we're looking forward to it. There is a tiny part of me that is scared to death but it's a super tiny part.

As you could tell, ye old blog had pretty much died. Busy Mom, busy routines, working full time, toddler care, being pregnant and tired, appointment after appointment, writing a thought out blog post was just about the last possible thing on my mind. I am hoping to kinda change that. I'm not promising multiple posts weekly but who knows what will happen. Anything is possible. After all, it IS a new year!

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Wow, July 5 was my last post? Seriously? I don' believe you, I think Blogger is a big fat hairy liar and I have actually made many a post since then and Blogger just trashed them and never posted them.

Yeah, that's totally what happened. I swear. Pay no attention to the crossed fingers.

Ok, fine, I will fess up. Yeah, I've been gone for a while but mostly it's because I have been sleeping. I have seriously been feeling like crapola however my OB assures me that everything is normal with THIS PREGNANCY!

Yep. Me. Pregnant. I know all two of my blog readers are so excited to hear that. Like you needed me to tell you, as if that ticker over there to the right didn't give you the first hint.

So my last post was on July 5, I found out I was pregnant on July 6. Of course being the superstitious person that I am, I couldn't possibly blog about it so early on. During the past 2 months pregnancy has pretty much been the only thing on my brain. Well that and trying to keep my kid from playing in traffic because let me tell you, all I want to do is sleep!

Zzzzzz, zzzzzzz, zzzzzz.

Oops - dozed off there for a minute.

So now you know. The cat is out of the bag. I plan on writing a post about how extremely different this pregnancy is from when I was pregnant with Ricky but it's nearly 11pm which means I am up way past my bedtime.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Nope, not 20 questions, but 30 questions. I know, dare to be different, right? Not really, I stole it from Canape. Feel free to steal it to, but let me know if you do because I would love to see your answers.

30 Questions:

1. It’s 2AM and you are not home. You are more than likely:
I can't even remember the last time I was out until 2am. If I am, you can bet I wish I was home.

2. What’s the last thing you spent more than $100 on?
Bookcases from Ikea and a new living room area rug. I have been planning this stuff for a while. I still want a new end table and a funky lamp but it only took me 3 yrs to pick out leather furniture, I have a while to get that table.

4. Where did the shirt you are currently wearing come from?
I don't remember the exact store, most likely Buckeye Corner since it's an Ohio State t-shirt.

5. Name something that will be on your Christmas wish list:
Maybe an end table...

6. What color is your toothbrush?
White.

7. Name something you collect and tell us about it.
I used to collect polar bears, but that got out of hand and I had photo artwork, art books, stuffed ones, you name it. Then there were the Disney Snow Globes and some day if I have a little girl, they will adorn some very high shelves in her bedroom. For the moment, it's overpriced handbags. Mostly Coach but I am starting to love some Michael Kors too.

8. Last restaurant you ate at. Who were you with? How was it?
Red Robin - With the husband and kid. It was Red Robin - it's great for kids and quick. Not a whole lot you can say about their burgers, they are burgers.

9. Who was the last person you bought a birthday card for?
My BFF but I am supremely lame and incapable of getting to the post office. Heck, I didn't even give it to her IRL when she was here visiting.

12. Your favorite pizza toppings?
Pepperoni and in Columbus there is this place called Donatos that makes this kick butt hawaiian that has ham, pineapple, sliced almonds and cinnamon. I prefer veggies on my salad, not my pizza.

13. Whose number were you looking up the last time you used a phone book?
I have absolutely no idea, maybe an HVAC company? I always use the internet. Always.

14. Other than family, who is the person that you love most?
Oh, my friends. There are a few that are as close as family if not closer. I would do anything for them. No, I am not naming names.

15. What is the last thing you cooked?
Eggs sandwich for breakfast today.

16. Name something you wouldn’t want to buy used?
Rectal thermometer. Seriously - someone was trying to sell one on CL. Gross.

17. Which shoe do you put on first?
Whichever one is turned upright.

18. What is the last thing you remember losing?
Tape Measure - we always lose that thing.

19. What is the ugliest piece of furniture in your house?
The ugly sofa & loveseat in the basement. It was free from a friend and I have tried to get Rick to replace it, he loves it. It's on it's last legs though so it will go eventually.

20. Last thing you bought and ended up returning?
I can't even remember.

21. What perfume/cologne do you wear? If none, why?
None - it aggravates Rick's nose. If I do, it is rare, but I have this roll on mini bottle of Stila stuff and I think the scent is called Peony. I've had it for years so who knows how good it is.

22. Your favorite board game?
I prefer cards and that would be euchre.

23. What was the last board game you played?
Marvel Monopoloy.

24. Where did your vehicle come from?
Koons Chevy, Tysons Corner.

25. If a movie was made about your life what would the theme song be?
I have no idea, someone who knows music better than I do can pick one and tell me why.

26. You’re sad, who can cheer you up easily?
Ricky and Kelli.

27. What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to?
Lilac/Periwinkle - it was my wedding and I had one bridesmaid.

28. What house cleaning chore do you hate to do the most?
I would have to say laundry. That and swapping out clothes for seasons and pulling out old clothes of Ricky's that don't fit.

29. What is your favorite way to eat chicken?
Either fried or chicken & noodles like my Grandma used to make.

30. It is your birthday. You hope the cake is?
I have never met a cake I didn't like but my only request is that it NOT be chocolate on chocolate. I like chocolate but too much is just, ugh, too much.

My goodness gracious, I haven't blogged in for-ev-er. I think I just get sucked in to crap like Frontierville on Facebook but I have also been taking a more active role in my local Moms group, trying to make it to more playdates and meetups. This, combined with work, have just left me a bit on the tired/lazyside at the end of the day. As a result, forming a blog post, a thought out blog post, well it just hasn't been a priority.

Also, I have been working my way through some issues lately. Ever since my sister passed away in March, things have been harder. Losing her was quite the catalyst for some other things to happen in my life, the biggest one being whether or not I should pursue a relationship with my Dad.

Ah, Dad. A little background on that subject. My parents divorced when I was 4 mostly due to the complications that my Dad's alcoholism brought to the marriage. My Mom doesn't talk about it much as I think she just didn't want to influence the relationship I would have with my Dad. She has said a few things that let me know how controlling he was and how family basically wasn't a priority in his life. On the weekends I would see him, he mostly took me to visit my Grandparents. I remember helping my Grandpa in the garden and him letting me mow the grass on the riding lawn mower. I remember eating lima beans for the first time at their house, and I liked them! The best part was they had this old house on their property, fully furnished, that they would rent from time to time. It had a huge wraparound screened in porch with a well out back. That well always had the coldest water. But those memories aren't so much with my Dad as they are with my Grandparents.

As I grew older, the visits became less frequent. My Grandparents eventually passed away and the times I spent with my Dad weren't so memorable. They were filled with evenings at the "club" which was basically the campground and him drinking and staggering back to the camper. He also liked to talk trash about my Mom. One thing I can credit my Mom with is never saying anything derogatory about my father. She was very careful about that, thinking I would eventually form my own opinion of him as I grew older.

I always wanted more from that relationship, I always felt more like he tolerated me than loved me. Sure, cards with checks arrived every Christmas and birthday. In the grand scheme of things, he could have been much worse but he could also have been much better.

So, in March, when I saw him at my sister's funeral, well it was weird. He called me the night before and I was expecting him but ever since I told him I was marrying a black man and then he bailed on showing up to my wedding, well that was the last straw. My life was going one way and he wasn't going to be part of that. So at the funeral home, when he was looking at pictures of my son, of my husband, of my FAMILY, well I didn't like it. Not one bit. I became protective of them. I don't need his blessing to lead my life. He has never given it to me before, he has never really cared before, why would he start now? Why would I start wanting him to care now?

Because he's my Dad. That's why.

It took me exactly eight therapy sessions to figure that one out.

I ended up in therapy because I wasn't sure what I wanted out of a relationship with my father. I wasn't sure if I even wanted any sort of relationship with my father. He showed somewhat of an interest, could he be softening up in his old age? Even so, would I want to expose my family to that? Then, you know, since it was a mere 4 days after my sister died at the age of 42, my mind went a little crazy. What if something happened to him? What if he died tomorrow? Would I be ok with my relationship (or lack of) with him? How would I feel, what sort of regrets would I have?

That's a dangerous place to be. The "What If" barrel. It's motivating for all the wrong reasons.

So I dug myself out of that barrel and moved on. I still have some things on my mind, but for the most part, I seem to be at peace with where I am now.

And thus this blog post comes to an abrupt end. But really, things are ok. I promise.