exes being friends really isn't that hard...

24 November, 2008 - 6:36am — Ashe Wednesday

...that is, if both parties want it, because I'll be damned if I'm gonna be the only one working for it.
My ex, J, found me over the internet and we started to reconnect. Great. We hung out a few times. Even better. Then she had to get the bright idea to like me again. I was fine with that, but told her that I just wasn't sure if I wanted to date yet (I just got out of an almost two-year relationship with someone I'm still in love with). After a while I thought 'what the heck' and we started dating...which is something I have never done before: date and spend time with the person before declaring any kind of relationship. But I figured hey, I'm 19, no time like the present.
After trying that for a couple weeks, she decided we should just stay friends. Alright, cool. I'm more than willing to stay friends, but the day after we agreed on this decision, she dropped completely out of my life. I tried texting her, inviting her to hang out places with me and my friends, or with just me...and she turned down every offer while not putting up any of her own. I finally called her out on it and asked her if she was ignoring me, and she denied ever doing such a thing and couldn't figure out where I got that idea from. After a few more days, I sent her an important text expressing how I felt (which is something I absolutely hate doing; I'd much more prefer talking this out in person but this was the only way I could get in contact with her) about her using me as her little plaything and then dropping me once she was done.
Yep, no response to that, and that was last thursday.
I dunno, I figured it this way: we're not in high school anymore, I'm not that same stupid 14-year-old girl that fell so deeply in love with J and she's not that same fickle 14-year-old girl that will so easily shrug off someone who cares so much for her. I can say that much about myself, as for her...apparently not so much.
I mean shit, I graduated for a reason. That type of shit is not gonna fly anymore. If she wants to pull the same crap she did way back then, fine. I'll never stop caring about her but I can cut her out of my life again. Hopefully she'll grow up and snap out of it, and if not I won't be around for it.
Maybe it's too much baggage for her. But I figured all the baggage there is stems from high school. We're fucking adults now; shouldn't that shit go away? No one died, no one was hurt beyond repair...let it go and live for now.