The start of a new year – time for reflection or just another day?

So, the bells have rung, the fireworks have gone off, the
champagne has been drunk and we have changed from 2018 to 2019. As usual the
world didn’t end, there were no technological epidemics at the point of midnight
and the questionable political decisions of 2018 have not vanished in a puff of
smoke.

Fundamentally nothing has changed!

Yet we all often fall in to the trap of feeling compelled to
make changes or expecting things to be different just because we now have to
end our dates with /19 and not /18.

I have fallen foul of this myself year on year, but
encouraged by the many postings of Instagram I made the decision to approach
this new year a bit differently.

The overall message from Instagram was that I actually didn’t
need to change, there was nothing wrong with me and that was a message that started
to resonate. I have real issues with myself, valuing who I am and treating
myself with compassion. This has been heightened by an unfortunate incident
before Christmas which I won’t go in to but did set me back a fair way.

So, the idea that I didn’t need to start thinking about all
the bits of me I hated and wanted to change and instead could keep focussed on marrying
who I am with who I want to be was enlightening.

I don’t subscribe to the idea that we shouldn’t acknowledge
the turn of the year. I know it is basically just another day and in reality it
doesn’t feel any different but it’s as good a day as any to start thinking
about what you want going forward. There has to be a day one for kick starting
a new approach so I think why not the first day of the year.

So this year instead of making a list of all the things I want
to change about me, of which there are endless, I am instead going to focus on
the things that I was doing last year and enjoyed. Things that have perhaps slipped
from my attention or haven’t been prioritised as they should. Things that I value
and that benefit me physically or mentally.

This list will be pretty fluid and I plan to add to it or
amend it as the months go on, no one can know what the future holds so I think
it is only right that there is no rigid plan.

So here are a few of the things I am planning to continue in
2019:

I would like to get back in to running and
improve my fitness levels. Three years ago I managed to run a half marathon and
whilst I didn’t really enjoy the race itself I did feel enormous satisfaction
that I was able to run that distance. I had worked hard to get myself prepared
for such an event and I would love to be back to that level again as I felt
such a sense of accomplishment. But it is not easy starting again and finding
the mental strength to push through the pain. I also need to prioritise running
more and make some time for it.

I am going to continue with my “read more scroll
less” pledge started last year when I gave up facebook and my personal Instagram
account in order to make more time to read. I managed 24 books last year which
was one short of my 25 target but that still mega for me as I think I averaged
about 3 books a year over the previous 5 years. That’s also not including the 4
textbooks I read for my 2 exams which slowed down the reading for pleasure
mission. Those textbooks definitely weren’t pleasure!

I am going to make a greater effort to write my
blog and work really hard on getting some structure and order to my writing. I have
so many ideas but I need to make the time to work on them. Otherwise, let’s be
honest I am just wasting my time.

I am going to be more mindful of what triggers my
anxiety because what 2018 taught me was that it wasn’t enough to just leave my
job and expect to get better. There has been an ongoing battle with anxiety and
I need to continue to work on how to make things a bit easier. I still don’t know
if I will overcome anxiety, it feels very far away from achievable at the
moment but I know I can take steps to make it easier to deal with and 2019 will
be about fine tuning those steps.

And that is that, I think 4 things to continue is more than enough
for me. I can’t cope at the best of times with being overwhelmed so there is no
reason to actively do it to myself. These are all things that I have been doing
in 2018 and would like to continue and improve upon. Not resolutions, not
unattainable goals to fail to achieve. Just some structured thinking about what
I value in my life. And obviously it goes without saying that I will continue
to look after my family etc etc and I will probably on occasion still strive to
be a size 6 but small steps and all.

Happy 2019 folks,
may it be the best possible year it can be for all!!