A Journey Through Breast Cancer | By Kathy Baum

Paradox of Marriage

Bible said, “Love suffers long.” (1 Corinthians 13:4) Because of this, the wedding vow says,
“I promise to love her/him in sickness or in health, in poverty or in wealth, in good times and bad – till death shall you part. ” However, reality is one out of three couples in the US divorces. It is obvious that marriage is difficult.

A wife has her own ways and so does a husband. When there is conflict between them it creates burdens and if the burdens pile up, the weight may causes sickness. Yet, if there is the words “Thank you,” for the long suffering, at the end, all the burdens and weight perish at once like bubbles, I think.

I have a Japanese friend, who served her mother and father-in law for a long time living together. When she was young, she was scolded in front of her kids about how she talked to the father-in-law was arrogant.” Her husband pretended like he didn’t listen to it. She wanted to divorce many times, but each time when she cried to her mother, her mother encouraged her, saying “Losing is winning.” Eventually she received respect and appreciation from not only her parents-in-law, but also her husband, kids, and relatives. Her perseverance paid off.

The real meaningful word, “Thank you,” is very powerful because the words cease long suffering. At the end on the earth, the words we want to hear are maybe “I love you,” and “Thank you very much.”
And if we can hear from God saying, ” You treasured the gifts I gave you with love (long suffering). Well done!” it must be the gold.

It is interesting that if we choose to suffer long for the partner instead of pursuing own desires and interest, we find real peace, love, or the best reward at the end. When I shared this paradox with George, he said, ” That’s the meaning of ‘ If you cling to your life, you will lose it, and if you let your life go, you will save it.'” Maybe the Japanese saying, ” Losing is Winning” has the same meaning.

Even if we feel alone, or nobody is paying attention to our suffering or relentless efforts, God is watching. He even offers help saying, “Lay down your burden on me.”

I, who once divorced, felt shame listening to my friend’s story, but God gave me a Second chance. Life is short. Asking for lots of God’s help and guidance, I have to do a good job this time.