How To Stay Positive in the Midst of Chaos

March 15, 2018

I'm sure you've noticed that my life has had some big changes these past few months. Our biggest news, change and secret of all was the announcement of Baby O due this coming September. Aside from Baby O, there has been so much else going on behind the scenes. I recently officially became a full time entrepreneur this last week. Woohoo! I now will solely be splitting my time between my blog and the blogger community I run called My Haute Society. Although I'm so grateful for being able to chase my passions it comes with so much change. We are also in the middle of another big life change that I'm not quite ready to share with you babes, but lets just say it's taking a lot of prayers, patience and trust. Since I write these Everyday Positive posts about things really on my heart I figured it was the perfect time to write it out. Here's some tips on how to stay positive in the midst of chaos because some days that's kind of what my life feels like.

Find comfort in the chaos

Believe in the Power of Prayer

Whenever my life becomes extremely hectic or chaotic I realize that I inch further and further away from God. Not on purpose by any means, but because I forget about the importance of prayer in my day. I get so wrapped up in trying to always be on point and trying to always get everything done that I forget about the most important step. Without believing in the power of prayer my life is obviously going to feel chaotic. I can't do it all, all the time. I can't always be getting things done one thing after another. I need time to sit, breathe, think and pray. Keeping a constant relationship with God is difficult because it's work just like any other relationship, but its a different kind of work. The focus is so much deeper than any other relationship and the payoff is 10 times greater. The further away I get each day the more difficult it is for me to hear his voice. He's always there, but without my focus being there it's harder to get in touch with him.

Even when I hear nothing, I rest in knowing He hears me

This past week is when it started to hit me with just how far I was from Him. I wasn't making time for my daily devotions and I was allowing my head to run wild at night without reaching to Him for help. Tuesday night was the worst of it. I have been really calm throughout all of this life change, but for some reason it all came crashing down that night. I think I slept a total of 2 hours which I get is totally not okay while being pregnant. It's not okay ever, but especially now. I tried praying over and over again and to be honest I even tried singing the song 'Jesus Take the Wheel' because I needed something to help make my mind stop. Change is good. I really do love it, but something my Dad laughs at is the fact that I never just change one big thing. I dive in and change multiple big life things all at once. I've been doing it for years and don't know how I always fall into that pattern.

You might be sitting here thinking, how can she possibly be stressing when she finally got the baby she had been praying for and she's finally chasing her dreams? I get how it seems weird, and I almost feel guilty for feeling so stressed, but even the happiest of people show a dim light from time to time. I think the important thing to reminder yourself is that you really don't know the struggles another person is feeling. That's why it's so nice to share a smile with a stranger and to not judge someone by the images posted on social media. Everyone has their stress, worry and exhaustion. For me, forgetting the power of prayer is what killed me the most. Luckily, God is always there and I'm working each morning to connect even deeper with Him.

Remind Yourself that you Can't Do it All, All the Time

This is something I struggle with on a weekly basis. When I had my spiral of thoughts Tuesday night I couldn't just focus on one thing. I would try to get my mind off of one thought only to find that it jumped to something else before I could even blink. My life has been in overdrive these last months in the best way possible. With some of these big changes, however, comes lots of little things. My little sister is getting married at the end of August and she asked me to be the MOH. I mean, could I get anymore excited, I don't think so. Funny thing is, I am now going to be 38 weeks pregnant for her wedding and pray that the baby at least waits until after dinner if he/she does decide to come that day. Anyway, as you can see it's not just me with life changes. There are baby showers, bridal showers, bachelorette parties and planning galore going on over here. All amazing blessings from God, moments and situations that I am truly thankful for. However, it leads to me trying to do it all, all the time.

Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.

Yesterday I cried in bed the morning after not sleeping because I just wanted to run away to a beach and hope it all work itself out. My sweet husband, bless his soul, is the man God made for me. He is a problem solver and doesn't wallow in emotions like his lovely wife does (wink, wink). He hears my tears and immediately starts throwing out suggestions. One thing he said was make a list and prioritize because "Baby, you can't do it all at once." I cry and say, but I need to, only knowing that he is so right. So I made a list and boom, half of those emotions went out the door. I was able to see things in writing which helped clear my clouded mind. I can't do it all, all the time and the more I try to the more I will get set back.

Sitting here and worrying about the millions of things that are on the horizon while trying to grow two businesses and one sweet little baby is not healthy. It's not getting me anywhere and it's creating more stress than I need to have at this special time in my life. Obviously, like I've stated in so many of my posts, you're going to have good days and bad days which is totally okay. It's what you do with the bad times though that make or break your attitude. Three of my favorite previous posts that highlight that are 3 Positive Daily Reminders - Worry Less, Do More - Why I Quite my Full Time Job and How it Changed my Life.

Look to the Ones Who Love you Most

I am really bad at reaching out in my weak times. Kirby is obviously my number one, but I forget to show it to the rest of my loved ones. I typed out forget, but to be honest I think I kind of withhold it. I hate showing my weakness which is something I got from my Dad. I don't like to reach out and put my sorrows on others. I always feel like God made me this big light in peoples lives so why show them the dim version? Such a bad thing to think and such a hard way of living. Everyone needs help from time to time and it is totally okay to put that out there. I've come to realize that just as God blessed me with being a light in the world he also blessed me with a really strong support system so I can uphold that light. Without leaning on the people who love me most I'm bound to feel alone, more stressed out and more worried than I really need to be.

I remember going through the start of 2017 with only telling Kirby my issues. I didn't open up to my family about how much anxiety and stress I was going through, how much I hated my job and how truly lost I felt in the world. I think back to the day I called my mom bawling and she was in shock because she had no idea what I was going through. My parents felt so distant and it wasn't their fault at all. I didn't allow them to see into my deepest and darkest thoughts which created this huge wall I had to climb over. Whats the point? We have enough walls around us in this world that building one up between the people who were made to have our back is such a backwards way of living.

Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. - Psalm 116:7

I still struggle with this as I've now entered a new kind of stressful change, but it's something I am really working on. God granted me Kirby to be my rock, but just like I can't do it all, neither can he. It's important to reach out to the people who love you most in times of need because that's why they're there. Life is such a beautiful thing and only made more wonderful with all your family and friends in it. Don't spend days feeling alone because I guarantee you're not. Remember to use the support system you have, remind yourself that you can't do it all, all the time, and most importantly remember to pray. God is always listening and waiting for you to reach out.

Stephanie

March 21, 2018 at 4:37 pm

I am so grateful that you shared this post. It’s just what my heart needed! I’ve been in such a bubble of stress lately and I really needed to refocus my attention on Who has my back and my purpose in why I do what I do! Thank you for sharing!

everydaychiffon

Ashley Benner

March 22, 2018 at 7:49 pm

Well said! I’ve had many of these same feelings throughout my pregnancy so it’s refreshing to hear someone else is in the same boat and how they conquer them! What’s really helped with pregnancy and birth anxiety’s for me has been The Birth Hour an amazing and empowering podcast of women and their pregnancy and birth stories. Their website is awesome too. So many books and so much advice! You’re doing amazing girl keep it up!