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Bench

I’ve called this press conference behind this finest faux White House podium that a bench can make, sold exclusively through ‘The Finest Faux White House Podiums that a Bench Can Make Emporium’ on etsy, to let each and every single, individual one of you know, personally, that, yeah, we all had a good ribbing at my expense, but now, NOW, I say, who’s feeling dumb?

YOU.

And who is looking better and better every day?

That’s right. Me.

Me and George Dubya.

And my announcement? The reason I’ve called this?

We’re going on tour! Everybody else seems to be going on tours, so I am happy to extend invitations to all of you. I don’t know where we’ll go or how we’ll get there, but it’s time.