If you insist on avoiding packages, you can try "make update". The "update" target will execute pkg_add -r on your behalf, but only if the target correctly interprets the state of the prior installed package and the one just built. It may be easier to issue pkg_add -r yourself. Before doing so, please read the pkg_add(1) man page, and see what the -r option is for. You may want to use the -i option also.

ports.tar.gz can be found in several different directories. This is done because the ports tree is available in different flavors. If you are unfamiliar with flavors, you need to study & understand Section 5.1 of the FAQ:

If you downloaded the wrong version of the ports tree, this may account for why you are continually getting weird build errors.

As has been repeatedly recommended to you, don't build from ports when pre-compiled packages are available. Nothing is gained by compiling applications yourself. By compiling from ports, you are building a local copy of the same package files which are found on the mirrors. Again, nothing is gained from compiling yourself over using packages that are already built.

A number of people have been providing you links to relevant sections of the FAQ. We do this because the answers to a lot of the problems & predicaments you are getting yourself into are explained there. As I have said to you numerous times before: study the FAQ. It will save you a lot of time & aggravation.