Negotiate To Win

3. “You owe me one” doesn’t count

“You owe me one” (or “I owe you one”) is a sorry excuse for a real “if.” Concessions are like cars — as soon as you drive them off the lot, they start losing value. The instant your counterpart puts your concession in her pocket, it loses all of its bargaining value.

4. Don’t say “no”

Try to avoid saying “no” — literally — to the other side. An unvarnished “no” instantly turns a dialogue into a monologue. Instead, use a Japanese "No" whenever possible. It helps to avoid hostility and it keeps the negotiation moving forward.

For example, instead of saying “no” to a piece of business you really don’t want to do (too risky, too small, not profitable enough, etc), say “yes” to it, but at an unacceptably high price. The other side will surely reject your proposal (because it was their choice, not yours), but without loss of face. I guarantee that if you negotiate long enough, someone will accept one of your Japanese "Nos."

5. Every request is an opportunity

When the other side requests something from you, it’s not a problem; it’s an opportunity to get a concession in return. In time, you’ll be thrilled when your counterparts utter those delightful words, “I need something from you.”

6. Even-steven isn’t necessary

There’s nothing that requires negotiators to make equivalent concessions. Always try to get an “if” that’s equal to or greater than the value of the concession you’re offering. If necessary, ask for multiple items in order to get the value high enough. If the concession you receive is larger than the one you gave, you’ve done well.

7. Logic isn’t necessary

There needn’t be any logical relationship between the concession that the other side wants and the one you ask for in exchange.

8. I’ll try

If you’ve said you’ll try, you have an obligation to try — genuinely. If you can’t obtain the requested concession, you have a responsibility to explain to your counterpart what actions you took and why they weren’t successful.

Be skeptical of an “I’ll try” from the other side. Ask for a firm commitment that kicks in if their “try” fails: “I’ll do my best, but if I can’t, I’ll do X, Y and Z instead.”

9. That “if” isn’t just decoration

Don’t forget that if the other side rejects your “if,” she also rejects the concession you were offering. When you say, “I’ll lower my price from $2.25 to $2.13 if you increase your order by 5,000 units,” and she says, “No” or “I can only increase my order by 2,000 units,” your price — technically at least — stayed at $2.25.