I'm having a really hard time. To make a long story short, I started a new school about six months ago. When I first started I met this girl on my bus who ended up telling me she was interested in me. I didn't know if I was gay or straight at the time, but I was pretty sure I was straight. But I agreed to date her because I'd never been in a relationship before, and I wanted to know what it was like. I know that sounds really bad, and before you judge me for it, just know that I totally regret it.

We dated on and off because I couldn't decide whether or not I was straight or gay. Then something happened. I ended up falling for her. Really falling for her. I care about her so much, more than I've ever cared about a guy. Now whenever I think about being with someone I can only think about being with her. But she doesn't treat me right. Even though we're dating, it doesn't feel like it. She won't add me on Facebook, I don't know why. She doesn't answer my texts.

And I know things aren't going to work out between the two of us. I just feel it. But I can't let go, because I have really strong feelings for her. And I'm angry with her in a way, because if she hadn't come along I could have lived the rest of my life thinking I was straight and I wouldn't have to deal with all of this. Ever since I got involved with her and we did sexual stuff I haven't been able to think about a guy. It disgusts me to think about being with a guy that way. I want to be with a girl. But more than that, I want to be with her.

This is just way too confusing for me. :( Posted on 08/10/11, 03:48 pm

Sounds like a crappy situation, but I can honestly tell you that even if she didn't come along in some shape or form you would've figured out that you were gay at some point in your life. It's one of those things that you can't get over and it won't ever come along if you're meant to be this way.

I know what it's like to want someone who treats you terribly. I'm thinking she's not out yet and she's afraid of what people will think of her, unless she's a player and cheating on you, which I hope isn't the case. Perhaps, trying to talk to her about it will help and maybe even just distancing yourself. I find that if you don't text them or speak to them, it only makes them come to you more.

Anyway, I'm sorry you're going through this, but I hope even if things don't work out between the two of you you'll be open to dating someone who gives you the respect you deserve.

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