"Can you turn the camera a little more to the right, so you can see some of those PRECIOUS little children in their CUTE little houses in the background. Oh, and be sure to casually zoom in on my 'local' earrings while I greet this brave young American hero!"

"Millard was trapped in the recurring nightmare, there was a woman, a policeman, a television camera, and a VIP car from Washington. And then there was that hideous creature with three legs, one rabbit ear, one ear made of string and two clubbed feet."

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