How you can date a sorority woman in 2013!
By Tyson Paul
It’s your first day of college, you’re walking through the quad looking like a lost puppy searching for that 2:15 English lit. class, that you’re already 10 mins late for. You’re going crazy asking every person in sight where Henderson Hall is? When all of sudden you see the most beautiful thing you have ever seen in your life….a flock of women that look like Victoria Secret models but with clothes on. Now since you’re staring looking like Charlie Sheen when he discovered cocaine for the first time, you will tend to notice that these women are all wearing the same shirts with the same funny looking letters on them. My friend let me be the first to introduce you to the beautiful euphoria known as “Sorority Women”. Now most women will hate these women worse than the Red Sox hate the Yankees, but make no mistake about it, sorority’s are indeed the dynasty of your campus. Most sorority women are known to be a college diamond and if you ever get the chance to be intimate with one, that will probably be the first story you bring up to your friends when you go back home to visit for spring break. Sorority women are the greatest experiences of college life, as they love to party and can even make the corniest things in the world sexy as hell. Hanging out with a sorority woman is fairly easy as they are down to have a good time, but if you want to possibly date or even hook up with one….then that’s a different story. Sorority women are a tightly-formed group that always seem to be surrounded by guys. The problem is that many men try to get them into their dorm room at one time, which they feel can be very annoying. Men trying to talk to a high class sorority woman will never stop as guys love competition, but it not how many guys talk to them, but how a guy talks to them. If you want to assure yourself a Greek goddess, you have to do some things to separate yourself from the hungry pack of wolves. Allow Kaboom! to give you a few key tips that will help land the greatest piece of college ass that you will ever have, as we want to help you date a sorority woman. Gentlemen! Class is in session.
1. Choose one and stick to the plan:
Take your pole out (Pause) and grab a lot of bait, because you’re about to go fishing. There are plenty of fish in the sea, especially on college campuses. Even though sorority women are all for partying and having a good time, they don’t necessarily appreciate a guy who bouncing from woman to woman spiting out pick-up lines like a pimp looking for new hoes (Remember they’re classy women). It may not look like it when they are drunk off of Mike’s Hard Lemonade, but all sorority women actually have morals and hard to believe this but it actually against the rules in most sororities for a sister to hook-up with or date a man that another sister has previously dated. Now a lot of you young freshmen are freshly coming out from high school where you’ve been able to juggle ladies like you work at the circus and never get caught up, but this is a whole new ball game you’re playing son. One of the first things men will learn when talking to a sorority woman is that they don’t believe in privacy among sisters, as they throw out more gossip than TMZ. So if you’re trying to talk to more than one of them, then 95% of the time everyone will know and you probably won’t get either girl. With that being said, find the one woman that you’re most interested in and go after her like a lion goes after a zebra.
2. Join a Fraternity:
Now before we go any further with this article let me start this part off by saying if you are wanting to do this just to quote on quote “Meet Women”, then a fraternity is not for you, so don’t waste their time by disrespecting their legacy trying to join. Sometimes sorority women can be very difficult to talk too. I remember one time I tried to talk to a Gamma Phi at the student union and she didn’t pay attention to me so much that I started to ask myself “Is this B*tch Hellen Keller?” That all changed when I joined a Fraternity, as soon I had some Greek letters on me shirt; that same woman was talking to me like we had been friends since pre-school. Once a man joins a fraternity, talking to sorority women goes from very difficult to very easy. Sorority women and fraternity men hangout with each other practically 98% of their college lives. They have socials with eachother basically every week, you’re at all the same parties with eachother every week, you guys have the same circle of friends, and if you’re smart you take classes and join study groups with sorority women because they keep you eligible. Most women look at a sorority as a Disney fairy tale and playing the part of Prince Charming is a Greek god with your school’s favorite fraternity letters on their chest. Let me make it short and sweet for you playboy…If there is no letters, than there is no girl.
3. Infiltrate the group:
Sorority women learned a long time ago not to talk to strangers, so in order to talk to them you will have to know someone they are close with; this is a where a female friend of yours in the sorority comes in handy. Having a female friend or family member in the same sorority as the woman that you have a crush on is almost as good as having an American Express black card. They can get you all the exclusives news on the woman by helping you find who else is trying to talk to her, her daily schedule so they can help you be at the perfect spot to meet her and get to know them in a one on one setting, but the most importantly they can get you on the inside track on what you need to do to get that woman of your dreams. I like to call them your “Sorority Agent” as they will set up a nice introduction and allow you to be able to take it from there. When you’re not around, they can also help you by gossiping to the her all about you and what other girls in the sorority think your hot, it may not be true but sorority women love to hear things like that. Make sure they blow up everything because the bigger the gossip the more interested the girl will want to get to know you.
4.Be Different, Be The Good Guy:
For being classy women, sorority women hear some of the most disgusting pick-up lines ever created, So you must come in as if you are not like anyone she has ever met before. Most of the men that they come in contact with are immature and only interested in sex. Of course, your intentions maybe the same as every other guy and believe me they know that as well, but here a secret though…sorority women love it when you make it look like you’re not. Many guys that have an older brother have been informed that being an asshole get you the girl, but it 2013 and that assumption just doesn’t work anymore. In today’s college world assholes get hoes with STD’s and the good guy get the lady in the streets, but freak in the sheets; so to capitalize on this opportunity by being the good guy. Now don’t get too carried away with being the good guy, because then you’ll look like a straight pussy and will become just a “Good Friend”. Be a gentlemen offer compliments, keep you’re swearing to a minimum, and always look interested whatever she is talking about, but also throw some sarcastic lines in the mix to keep her on her toes. She won’t like your sarcasm too much but it does establish that you can stand up to her if you need to. Find out her interests and keep the conversation going. They’re not used to an long conversation with someone that doesn’t have a matching bra and panty set.
5. Dance!…even if you can’t dance:
During my fraternity days, we had a one of a kind brother named Paco. Now Paco was always a great person to be around and is still one of my great friends to this day, but one thing Paco could not do to save his life is dance. I swear to you Paco was so bad that people would see him dance and wonder if the club had EMT’s on standby just in case this was a real seizure. Paco may have been a terrible dancer, but he defiantly used his bad dancing skills to his advantage with the ladies. One thing these women love more than anything in this world is to dance their ass off. So if you can dance then get down and if you can’t dance….f*ck it still get down, because sorority women love a guy that not afraid to embarrass himself as long as they are having a good time. So if I could take this time to steal a quote from the hit movie “Hitch”…”You don’t need pizza, they got food there.”
6. Lunch Not Dinner:
Sorority women love creative minds. This is the part of the process where you can shine brightest and leave an lasting impression on the woman and her sorority. Right now you’re at the point where you been introduced to each other, you’ve hung out together in a group setting, and you guys may have shared a meal in the common, now the time you want to ask her to lunch. Now some of you may be looking at this and saying to yourself “Why lunch?…Why not dinner?”. If you ask a woman to dinner the first chance you get, she really thinks you’re trying to say “Can I be a stage 5 clinger today or tomorrow?”. If you ask her to lunch she knows that you’re not looking for anything serious right now, but you would really like to get to know her which is right up her ally. Now we understand that you’re still a college student money is tight, but still don’t be a cheap a** muthaf*cka and take her to the pub using your student bucks that the school gave you during the first week of classes. Actually take her to a restaurant off campus, it doesn’t have to be fancy but at least let her know that you’re trying….O yeah did we forget to mention that most happy hours are from noon-5pm? (Beer Us Please!). This will shock her that someone has actually put out effort for her and treated her nicely. This will automatically put you at the top of the list and she won’t forget it. Sometimes the simplest thing, can get you the farthest way.
7. Create A Chemistry:
You: “You like shrimp?” Her: “I hate shrimp.” You: “You like the Lakers?” Her: “I hate the Lakers.” You: “I watch The Notebook once.” Her: “Omg I love The Notebook.”…..See where I am going with this?
It is very important that you create some type of chemistry with this women or all this was for nothing. Obviously you both like to party, but also find out what else you guys have in common outside of partying. What’s her family like?, Where has she always wanted to travel to?, Does she like bowling?, Which show better Vampire Diaries or Pretty Little Liars?….Ask her questions and find that spark because as soon as you find that spark between you too, love will set a blaze.
8. Relax, Take It Slow, And Let the Good Times Roll!:
A fool thinking sex on the first date and a sorority woman will soon depart. Sorority women are the queens of the waiting game or what they like to see it as “Testing your patience.” Now don’t get me wrong there are some of them that are DTF, but if you deal with one of these women make sure you schedule an appointment to the nearest clinic because you got something for sure (Most likely Herpes.). Keep your eyes on the prize! It may seem like forever but really it hasn’t been that long and trust us she been wanting to get it in just as much as you, probably more but her sorority rule book says that “If you’re the bait, you must make him wait until he’s your mate.”. If you can tolerate “The Wait”, It will make her think that you are boyfriend material and not just some one that will hit it and quit it. She will make it worth the wait and after you guys are boyfriend/girlfriend or past that first sexual encounter, you will be defiantly getting all the sex from her that you can handle.
Now that you feel like a new man, get out there and become the Derek Jeter of your campus. Trust me following these tips and tricks will have you at the top of every sorority “Sexiest Man on Campus” list in no time. BE LEGENDARY!