Creator of Tracy's Celebrity Hot Mail

Domestic God

Whooo, I have just Dysoned up the downstairs and cleared it of our Springer, Maisie’s shed hair. (That’s hair my dog has shed, as in lost, not hair she bought in from the shed. Is that clear? Good.) There’s usually more on the floor than on her.

But wait! While this bombshell might shock, it isn’t the most important part of this post.

The BIG news is that I have finally worked out the pressy things on the Dyson. I managed to get the extended hose out, fit an attachment brush and everything. Amazingly the whole machine didn’t collapse into 20 kit-form pieces. This has happened before, when she went to Scotland. That was a proper disaster. I had to get the neighbour’s wife in to rebuild the bloody thing. Shhhh though, don’t let my missis know I’ve learned how it works. I’m still performing dishwasher duty from the time she discovered I’m not quite as thick as I try to look.