McFuck You McDonald's, I'm Hatin' it!

By Boris

Fuck You McDonald’s! You guys are really making the world a shittier place to live. I’m dismayed to say that after visiting 35+ countries I can’t remember a single one where I didn’t find a McDonald’s (and usually tens if not hundreds of them) serving up their unique brand of McShit. Why is McDonald’s such a bane on society? Well let’s see:

1.) Their food is atrocious. It’s both extremely unhealthy and extremely fattening. From factory farmed beef cleaned with ammonia to the inclusion of a plethora of chemicals in their “food”, one thing is clear: McDonald’s doesn’t give a shit about you or your health. McDonald’s just wants you to stuff your fat face with as much of their McShit as possible so they can make more McProfits. If you haven’t seen Supersize Me and Food, Inc. you really should. You will be absolutely shocked to see how your food is produced and what’s really in it.

2.) McDonald’s is actively depleting the world’s supply of thin hot chicks. Not content with just making all the American chicks fat, the assholes at McDonald’s are aggressively expanding all over the world. On my last visit to Kiev I was shocked, appalled and dismayed not just by the number of McDonald’s restaurants but how popular they were. Entering the McDonald’s on Khreshchatyk was a real “People of Walmart” type experience. It was as if McDonald’s food not only robs you of your health and looks but also your class, intelligence, sophistication and education. It also appears to cause a relatively severe case of cancer of the clothing (credit to George Carlin for coining that phenomenal term).

3.) McDonald’s promotes the worst aspects of stupid American pop culture and mass market trash. Even their retarded slogan,”i’m lovin it!” includes a misspelled / made up word and a lacks the appropriate capitalization. Way to go fucksticks. Help promote American stupidity world wide by proving that not only can Americans not learn foreign languages but they even lack a mastery of their own language. I’m not going to reinvent the wheel here, Maddox already nailed it.

McDonald’s, please, do the world a favor, die a quick yet painful death and take Taco Hell, KFC and the rest of those death shops with you!

El Matador ads:

The number of McDonald’s locations is an excellent barometer of how stupid a given country is. Any person who eats it and doesn’t notice it’s effect on their body is clearly not paying attention. Look up what happened to the Japanese after they let McDonald’s into their country in the 1970s. The stats will talk about fast-food because as usual, the corporate fat cats don’t like naming names. They suffered their first significant cases of obesity and diabetes as well as a new issue, acne.