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SAN DIEGO – Kimberly Scott, women's care pastor at Grace Church San Diego, told the attendees at the Defined by God pastors' wives conference that personal experience has taught her that God can restore you even when your life takes an unexpected turn.

"I can tell you that I've learned first-hand as a Christ follower that He will help us negotiate those crashes, those bumps in the roads, those [winding] roads that we run into and those collisions that we may have as we choose to allow the Lord to define us through it and not the journey, not the circumstances," shared Scott.

Her life hit a major road bump when her first husband left their family to live a homosexual lifestyle. He was a church planter, and together they had been very involved in Christian Fellowship Ministries in California's bay area.

"From the outside looking in we looked like we had it together. We looked like we had a measure of success from the world's standards and certainly from the church's standards. But from the inside we were a broken mess," Scott revealed.

Scott described feeling "ghosts" in their marriage. Later she learned that her "first love," whom she married at age 23, had had numerous affairs during their marriage.

"Finally the truth came out that he had been living and actively involved in a double life in homosexuality to the tune of hundreds, maybe thousands, of encounters that began while we were engaged," she told the crowd.

As her marriage came crashing down, Scott said she lost the identity she had built up as a preacher's kid, pastor's wife and a homeschooling mom. She struggled to understand what was happening and how to explain the changes to their five children.

"It was an incredibly painful season and yet it was wonderful in its own way because once everything was stripped away from my life, I was able to see where my one true source was and that is Christ,"

She urged women dealing with problems in the homes and their marriage to allow God to redefine their life and be healed from the inside out.

Since the end of her first marriage, Scott has remarried. Her husband, Tim Scott, lead pastor of Grace Church San Diego, also suffered through an adulterous first marriage. Kimberly now ministers to the women of their church.

Kimberly Scott was the first guest speaker of Faithlife Women's Defined by God conference at Shadow Mountain Community Church. The conference is about "refreshing pastor's wives for ministry" with seminars discussing topics such as cultivating supportive friendships, dealing with the challenging home lives and praying for your husband and your church. The conference began Thursday and will continue through Saturday.