After Paula Abdul stepped away from “American Idol” earlier this week, there was speculation whether the show would just eliminate the fourth judge position through attrition. But, no, the boat will not be rocked, and so the show is already going about having guest judges during the early audition process, which is really the only time the show is even marginally watchable to begin with.

Victoria Beckham and Katy Perry are booked, with other guest judges to be announced soon. “Idol” begins shooting audition episodes this week in Denver.

Asked if there’s any chance of Abdul returning, Rice replied, “Our understanding is … that we’ve concluded the negotiation.”

Added entertainment president Kevin Reilly, “She was the right person at the right time with chemistry — but under the heading of great producing. When shows are this successful, it’s very easy to take for granted the level of producing because things seem so seamless. I’m not saying it’s easy. You’re messing with chemistry that works, but that’s part of what top producers do. And we’re pretty confident they’re going to find that.”

“You hear that?! We’ll find whichever mindless cogs work best with the slew of easily replaceable commodities we already have in place. And when they’re gone, we’ll find some more. We could fill out the panel with nothing but overtly racist centaurs and no one would notice thanks to seamless to producing. Can you see the seams? NO ONE SEE THE SEAMS AND LIVES!”