Oh. I went on a date with a Red Sox fan. Well. Um. It was kind of a date. And another one with this really Democraty guy. That was different. It kind of felt like I was on a date with the news.

Oh. And I met this Stankee fan who is also a UNC fan and it was a thing.

There are lots of things.

I’ve gotten really good at this unpacking thing, for example.

See, the cool thing about living by yourself in an apartment with five closets is… you can do THIS.

oh! And This.

And- well, you get the point.

SERIOUSLY. TIM WAKEFIELD? He was our INSURANCE. Don’t you people listen to ANYTHING I say?

Oh. And I’m still seeing the perfect guy. The one who lives in Boone. But you know. By seeing, I mean NOT seeing. Since he’s in Boone. And I’m in Raleigh, the land of traffic circles where people are consistently confused by traffic circles. And he seems intrigued by the fact that, come April, I’ll hulk up into the Soxzombie. I don’t think he believes me, actually. I told him about that one time I accidentally… um… dropped that napkin dispenser on that one guy…

I think he doubts my hulkness.

So. Um.

JASON VARITEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I haven’t been watching spring training. Um.

And I haven’t been my usual Soxzombieness. Because I work a lot.

And. Um.

Oh, wow. He’s really gone, isn’t he?

Are we sure? I mean… um…

Are we…

Wow.

I’m sorry. I’ve missed a month. I have to go watch Bodyguard on repeat with an Edy’s pint. Excuse me.

I was supposed to be watching him? But I DID! I WAS! I did everything in my nonexistent power to protect and keep him and get him to Spring Training!!! I swear! I was NOT distracted by trying to figure out when (and if) to let Jacoby out of my golden lock-box…. But I mean hey look. At least I kept him in the franchise. At least he’s not going off to catch for some damn bird team which shall remain nameless Orioles. He’s still ours. I am comforting myself with that. He is ours. And he will remain with us for-baseball-ever. So…ice-cream treat?

ps Other than the loss of our great and powerful Captain, Spring Training has ROCKED. We have a million pitchers and they actually look good. We have won seven out of nine games, Papi is hitting HR’s, Youk is catching line drives, people are working out, Pedroia is growing a beard, that Iglesias tyke is rather remarkable, Lars Anderson hit a grand slam and Bobby V. danced in a fuschia blouse. The only one I’m worried about is Jacoby.