Obviously, he is wrong, which I know, because I attempt to talk to all animals I encounter, and I am pretty sure it is working. As evidence I offer the following pictures. I noticed an especially plucky little squirrel friend trotting along the steps and I called out to him in my pseudo creepy animal voice and HE CAME OVER. Here you can see him about to climb into my hand and become my Best Squirrel Friend For Life.

Unfortunately, I was so excited by my super power that I screamed with joy, and my Best Friend took off. My enthusiasm was too much for his pea-sized brain. I am giving you a close up so you can see my scream. Note that, despite the miracle at hand, James does not even shift his facial expression.

7 Responses to Super Powers

Talking to animals could maybe rid your house of mice and your driveway of cats…but that’s nothing that some rat poison and a cat dish full on anti-freeze couldn’t do.

Flying, on the other hand, would mean that there are no obstacles to where you can go (in my flying scenario, it includes super-fast speeds)…but really I just love roller coasters and other rides that do the same kind of thing, so being able to have that experience, while doing my morning commute, vacationing, etc. would be awesome. I would get huge though, because you better believe that I would never use my legs again…

I’m reminded of John Denver’s song “Boy From The Country”
——
Because he spoke to fish in the creek
He tried to tell us that the animals could speak
Who knows? Perhaps they do
How do you know they don’t just because they’ve never spoken to you?