MILWAUKEE-In a shocking move, Major League Baseball commissioner Allan H. "Bud" Selig announced today that MLB is cancelling the balance of its 2002 season and awarding the Chicago Cubs the World Series championship.

"This move will save the clubs tremendous amounts of capital." Selig said. "With lower attendances this season, we are bleeding more red than Enron. Coupled with the fact that the Chicago Cubs have Mark Prior pitching lights out in their minor league system, we feel that this, coupled with the belief that the Chicago Cubs will become the greatest team in this history of sports with Prior, Kerry Wood, Sammy Sosa, and company in their stable, provides sufficient reason to simply declare the Cubs the world champions." the commissioner went on to say.

"This is what I've been waiting for my entire life!" WSCR-AM personality Mike North said. "As a lifelong Cub fan, my life has now acheived its full fullment."

However, not all were impressed with MLB's action. "I would rather have the underground tunnels flood again and have [GOP political boss] 'Pate' Philip and Sen. [Peter] Fitzgerald (R-Illinois) take over control of O'Hare!" Mayor Daley, a lifelong White Sox fan, was quoted as saying.