Spread The F Word

Apr 24, 2009

Y'all saw this right? Got a pretty good rating today. People seem to enjoy it. But wait... not everyone. Not... ARBORISTS!!! The newest addition to the long list of people I've unintentionally offended, the Arborists (The term "Tree Nerd" is no longer PC) are a scruffy bunch, and don't like when inaccurate depictions of tree growth gets in the way of their cartoon enjoyment. I got a handful of emails today, but the following was the best. It begins with the same clever line that can be found in all F Minus hate mail:

I can see why you got an F Minus.Your science is 90 degrees off base and is therefore a poor example for folks – especially children. A tree grows both horizontally and vertically. The top leader and branches grow “up” but the existing stems or trunk grows horizontally out away from it’s center therefore the hook would eventually get engulfed by the bark/tree and to the extreme the two trees would grow together. Your cartoon drawn correctly would have Rip Van Winkle being squeezed together at the same height and not raised vertically; simple high school botany. Were you sleeping in your hammock the day that was taught?(Name omitted), President Landscape Architecture · Site Planning · Land Planning

Once again I am called a poor example for children. I have a question, did anyone actually take botany in high school? Really? Botany class?Here is my response:

Dear (Tree Nerd)Finally! A chance to use your knowledge of plant growth outside of your landscaping job! I suppose you emailed Wile E. Coyote to tell him why his rocket skates wouldn't work too? Or maybe you should tell Charlie Brown that his dog should not be able to fly a plane. You didn't say anything a few days ago when I did a comic about bees shooting stingers out of their butts at children. THAT's not scientifically accurate. But now of course people will be more afraid of bees because of my poor example. I guess I should have paid more attention in bee school.Or maybe it's just a cartoon. -Tony C.

Here's the deal, folks. Maybe he's right about tree growth. It's irrelevant. I would have done the cartoon anyway, because it's just a cartoon. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go jump off a cliff, and float safely down to the ground by holding an umbrella.

It's amazing how many people like that exist and often behave in a arrogant manner such as by pointing out their elite job, elite college, or high profile friends. Because they know more than "us", they always have to point out our "ignorant flaws". The irony is that like most people, they don't get it.