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Top 15 Onscreen Witches

Back in May, I posted my Top 15 Onscreen Vampires, and the response I got was good enough that I decided to continue the “series”, this time ranking witches. I’ve picked characters from all over film and tv, both male and female. For the purposes of this article, I’ve described a witch as “a human who is born with or learns magic”. I’ve included some characters who aren’t necessarily called witches (or wizards) but who have magic, and I’ve left out those characters who, despite having magic, are not now, nor have they ever been, humans, like faeries, elves, angels, demons, etc. I’ve also chosen one single character per “world”, otherwise this list would end up being a mile long.

The witches aren’t in any order except alphabetical, and, as usual, spoiler alert!! And off we go! 🙂

Amanda Shelton, Simply Irresistible

“I think I’ve loved you since that first day in the market.”
“You mean the day I had my hand up your pants? Men are so easy.”

Played by: Sarah Michelle GellarBorn in: New York City, date unknown but the movie takes place in modern times.Scary or sexy: SexyGood or evil: GoodPowers: With the help of a magical crab (yup, you read that right), Amanda becomes an extraordinary chef whose emotions go into her food, causing anything from laughter to tears to even floating on the ceiling.Weaknesses: None but her own self-confidence (or lack thereof, rather).Alive at the end?: YesIf not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

Bathsheba Sherman, The Conjuring

“She ran out to that tree by the dock, climbed up, proclaimed her love to Satan, cursed anyone who tried to take her land, and hung herself. Time of death was pronounced at 3:07 in the morning.”

Played by: Joseph BisharaBorn in: Rhode Island, 1812Scary or sexy: ScaryGood or evil: EvilPowers: Telekinesis and possession of othersWeaknesses: Holy objects, exorcism and love.Alive at the end?: NoIf not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: Exorcised out of Carolyn by Ed.

Bavmorda, Willow

“Why is it with my powers and the strength of my great army you cannot so much as find one… little… child?”

Played by: Jean MarshBorn in: Nockmaar, date unknownScary or sexy: Scary (Jean Marsh is a handsome woman, but her character doesn’t stay attractive for very long).Good or evil: EvilPowers: All kinds of dark magic, from curses to transmogrification.Weaknesses: Arrogance, white magic and lightningAlive at the end?: NoIf not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: Willow tricks her into thinking he’s made little Elora disappear, and when she rushes towards him she knocks over all the components of her spell and is struck by lightning at the same time, sending her to the Netherworld she was planning on sending Elora to.

Gandalf, The Lord of the Rings trilogy / The Hobbit trilogy

“Never put it on, for then the agents of the Dark Lord will be drawn to its power. Always remember, Frodo, the Ring is trying to get back to its master. It wants to be found.”

Played by: Ian McKellanBorn in: I’m sure it’s mentioned somewhere when and where Gandalf was born, but in the interest of saving time, let’s just say he was born in Middle Earth, and leave it at that :-pScary or sexy: Neither, actually, but Sir Ian does cut a proud figure.Good or evil: GoodPowers: Ability to conjure and control fire, control over water, spells and blessings, causing explosive blasts, conjure lightning, foresight abilities, some telepathic power, and the ability to communicate with animals.Weaknesses: Trust in the wrong people, the RingAlive at the end?: YesIf not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

“No, Harry. Even in the wizarding world, hearing voices isn’t a good sign.”

Played by: Emma WatsonBorn in: England, 1979Scary or sexy: Sexy (once she came of age, naturally :-p )Good or evil: GoodPowers: She can do almost anything by flicking her wand, brewing a potion, or hopping on a broomstick.Weaknesses: Endless curiosity that could get her into trouble, habit of being a know-it-all, Ron Weasley.Alive at the end?: YesIf not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

The Horned King, The Black Cauldron

“Soon the Black Cauldron will be mine. Its evil power will course through my veins, and I shall make you Cauldron-born! Yes, yes. Oh, yes! Then you will worship me! Me! Oh, my soldiers. How long I have thirsted to be a god among mortal men.”

Played by: John HurtBorn in: Prydain, date unknownScary or sexy: ScaryGood or evil: EvilPowers: Necromancy, all manners of dark magicWeaknesses: Love and sacrifice, the Black CauldronAlive at the end?: NoIf not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: When Gurgi sacrificed himself by jumping into the Cauldron, all of the Cauldron-born are sucked back into it, dragging the Horned King in with them.

Jareth, Labyrinth

“I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave!”

Played by: David BowieBorn in: UnknownScary or sexy: SexyGood or evil: Evil(ish)Powers: Shape-shifting, slowing and speeding up time, master of illusions, some clairvoyance through his crystals, the ability to conjure things from nothing.Weaknesses: Arrogance, SarahAlive at the end?: YesIf not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

Lamia, Stardust

“You shall not see the star, touch it, smell or hear it. You will not perceive her even if she stands before you. Pray you never meet me again.”

Played by: Michelle PfeifferBorn in: Kingdom of Stormhold, date unknown but she and her sisters are described as ‘centuries old’.Scary or sexy: BothGood or evil: EvilPowers: Pretty much anything, from transfiguration to conjuration and the animation of dead bodies.Weaknesses: LoveAlive at the end?: NoIf not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: With Tristan in her arms, Yvaine lets her love for him shine, and her pure light disintegrates Lamia.

Melisandre, Game of Thrones

“Death is coming for everyone and everything. A darkness that will swallow the dawn.”

Played by: Carice van HoutenBorn in: Asshai, year unknownScary or sexy: SexyGood or evil: I think the character was meant to be more ambiguous than straight good or evil, but mo matter what good comes from helping Stannis is deeply over-shadowed by the horrible things she does. In her case, the ends don’t justify the means, and burning folks alive is just plain evil.Powers: Clairvoyance, dark magic, giving “birth” to shadow demons, immunity to (at least some) poisons.Weaknesses: Arrogance, religious fanaticismAlive at the end?: As of where I am in the show (end of season 3), yes. I’ve read all the books, but I won’t spoil it for those who haven’t read yet, or who are waiting after the show.If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

Merlin, various films and tv shows

“I’m gone, but then, I’m not gone. So if I do leave, you can never be sure that I am gone, can you?”

Played by:Various actors, including Karl Swenson, Sam Neill, Joseph Fiennes, and Colin MorganBorn in: England, date unknownScary or sexy: He’s not scary, but usually he’s portrayed as an old man, so he’s not really sexy either.Good or evil: GoodPowers: Various or none, depending which movie or show you’re watching, but they can range from everything from transforming himself into animals, to casting illusions, and much more.Weaknesses: Again depends on the film, but he’s often shown as having had trusted the wrong people, and is betrayed.Alive at the end?: In everything I’ve seen him in, yes.If not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

Winifred Sanderson (and her sisters), Hocus Pocus

“My ungodly book speaks to you. On All Hallow’s Eve, when the moon is round, a virgin will summon us from under the ground. We shall be back, and the lives of all the children of Salem will be mine!”

Played by: Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Kathy NajimyBorn in: Salem. They were executed in 1693, but it’s unclear how long they’d been alive before then. I’m assuming a lot.Scary or sexy: Neither. They’re pretty funny-looking, actually.Good or evil: EvilPowers: Various dark magic spells, including transforming children into animals, cursing hundreds of people at once, and sucking out the life-force of children to keep their youth.Weaknesses: Hanging, fire, holy groundAlive at the end?: NoIf not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: While trying to suck out Max’s essence, the witches accidentally end up on hallowed ground, and the first rays of dawn’s light disintegrates them.

Sally and Gillian Owens, Practical Magic

“Witch! Witch! You’re a bitch! Witch! Witch! You’re a bitch!”
“You’d think after three hundred years they’d come up with a better rhyme!”

Played by: Sandra Bullock and Nicole KidmanBorn in: The States (not sure which one), exact date unknown, but I imagine it was some time in the 70’s.Scary or sexy: SexyGood or evil: GoodPowers: Love spells, healing spells, some clairvoyance, and many other spells.Weaknesses: A long standing family curse that any man who loves an Owens woman will die young.Alive at the end?: YesIf not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

Ursula, The Little Mermaid

“Oh, no, no, no, no, no! I can’t stand it! It’s too easy! The child is in love with a human! And not just any human. A prince! [laughs] Her daddy’ll love that. King Triton’s headstrong, lovesick girl would make a charming addition to my little garden.

Played by: Pat CarrollBorn in: Atlantica, year unknownScary or sexy: ScaryGood or evil: EvilPowers: Various dark spells, the ability to turn merfolk (including herself) into humans (or better looking merfolk), able to see whatever her familiars see, no matter the distance.Weaknesses: None save arrogance, and, I guess, being impaled :-pAlive at the end?: NoIf not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: After growing to an enormous size, Eric is able to steer the ship right towards her, and the broken mast goes right through her breast as she’s struck by lightning. She wraps her huge tentacles around the broken ship, and sinks to the ocean floor, dead.

The Warlock, Warlock and Warlock: The Armageddon

“Of all the curiosities here I’ve seen, none have surprised me more than this.”

Played by: Julian SandsBorn in: Boston, year unknown (he was slated to be executed in 1691 when he escaped to the present time, but it’s unknown how old her really is).Scary or sexy: SexyGood or evil: EvilPowers: Dark curses, flight, jumping through time, and more.Weaknesses: Nails pounded into his foot prints, saltAlive at the end?: NoIf not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: Kassandra injects him full of salt water, and he bursts into flames. He is reborn in the sequel, but is vanquished again, this time being stabbed by a knife made from the same material as the Holy Grail.

Played by: Alyson HanniganBorn in: Sunnydale California, 1981Scary or sexy: SexyGood or evil: Good (except for a handful of episodes in season 6)Powers: Pretty much everything one can think of.Weaknesses: Addiction to the magics, fear of going bad again, TaraAlive at the end?: YesIf not, how did (s)he bite it, and by whom?: N/A

Movies, shows, books, music, games, fashion, makeup, food, I love it all! I'm a 33 year old mother of a rambunctious 5 year old boy. I'm often bed-bound because of illness, so I have a lot of time to spend on entertainment. I enjoy reading all kinds of blogs with top 10 lists and the like, but am often frustrated when the top spots are reserved for the same old stuff that, most of the time, I don't really like. So I decided to start a blog of my own, and throw my two cents out into the gaping sea that is the internet. I'm really enjoying writing these posts, so I hope they reach at least a few people who will enjoy them too :-)
M.