Thursday, 30 October 2008

The main bullet point of this presentation

The pumpkin I carved yesterday had an anus. The pumpkin Tony carved had a pseudo-anus (it was closed up). Like someone who has had a colostomy.

Keeping with that, how do people with colostomy bags fart? Does it smell? If so, like regular farts or more like baby-spit-up (partially digested prunes and what-not)?

Why is Hippo Monkey always so constipated? And why doesn't Lactulose work for him? Does he have bowels of steel or something? Or maybe some sort of micro-steel that doesn't absorb anything and won't flex to let the poop out?

Why is software so expensive? I really want Dreamweaver CS4, but I really don't want to pay $399 for it. And Santa is not that rich in our house. Or in my mother's house. But I do really want to get into web designing. Frick on a stick.

How am I to keep Sacha away from the Halloween stash so as to prevent further candy-sugar-induced night terrors? Like the one last night that woke up his brother? Oh wait. His brother wakes up every 2 hours for his damn suce (aka binky, toot, soother, crack, whatever else you call it in your house).

Happy Feet is the most annoying movie ever made. And WHY do people think it is a kids' movie? Showing the penguins being all sexed-up and dirty dancing-like and with At.ti.tude. It's just creepy. That's all. Just creepy. Goonies...now THERE is a good movie! And it teaches a good lesson, too: don't drop your baby, or when he grows up, he'll throw you off a pirate ship.

Answers to any of these are most appreciated. In the comments section. Right below. See? Yeah, you know you wanna.

ha ha ha ha! And Happy Feet, not a kids movie and not remotely funny as an adults movie. FAIL!

Will you get mad at me if I tell you I have a hacker uncle who's sending me a copy of CS4? I'm conflicted. I really need it, but I really don't like the idea of using a hacked copy. Then again I've been using his hacked copy of CS for the last 4 years...

By accident noticed that probiotics makes poop soft and abundant. While treating thrush, Mireille was a poop machine. Good luck. Oh, when she is constipated and I catch her grunting, I strip her and hold her under her knees over toilet/potty so that she is in a mid-air squat. Works wonders! Have fun.

By accident noticed that probiotics makes poop soft and abundant. While treating thrush, Mireille was a poop machine. Good luck. Oh, when she is constipated and I catch her grunting, I strip her and hold her under her knees over toilet/potty so that she is in a mid-air squat. (her back is leaning on me) Works wonders! Have fun.