YANBU. You get to decide when and where, who to invite, what to feed them with and how much booze to buy for them, and what to wear.

No one gets to impose these things on you (though if they are paying they get a say and if that means inviting crazy aunty elsa and the unpleasant cousins then the only way to avoid that is to wait till you can fund the whole thing yourselves)

Mumsnet rules are that - You don't get to choose what your guests wear, whether they choose to accept your invitation, or what childcare arrangements they consider appropriate, where they stay, or how much they should be spending on or giving as a gift. I think that's it.

We married with just two witnesses. It didn't feel right to just go off and do it secretly so we did tell people, but explained that we didn't want a fuss, I never wanted to be a bride, I've never understood all that! And it would have felt like a waste of money!

Is it just family that you don't want there, or is it that you don't want a 'wedding'?