Relationship Alert: Is your job affecting your marriage?

Nidhi Gupta

Sep 26, 2017 12:47 IST

Is your job affecting your marriage

Life after marriage is not similar to the one when you were a bachelor or bachelorette. Long back everything was all about you, but now you two are one and have a joint responsibility to take care of each other. Running a healthy relation while succeeding in your career is a big achievement and you must take care of every aspect that requires additional effort to keep the relation in its shape.

There might be times when you feel stressed and have to face conflicts, wide difference in opinion, cat-fights and many more heated arguments. During this hour, do not blame your partner only, for being less cooperative. Rather, sit back and pay attention if it is your demanding job that has caused a burnt in your relation. Here are 9 visible signs that will help you identify if your marriage is getting affected because of your job:

1. You run out of Words

It is one of the most visible signs that you can notice within few days of your hectic work life after marriage. The first and foremost thing that will come to your mind will be your work life and it will always overpower any other thoughts. You will have nothing else to talk with your partner other than work! ‘Work is indeed worship’ but at home, you need to dedicate time to your partner and his/her feelings. Let them not make the matters worse between you both. Leave work at your office and come home with a happy mind. Talk about her day, the weekend plans, the latest movie release and how to plan the budget for the coming month etc issues that makes your better half feel a part of family.

2. Arguments are overpowering the discussions

Someone has rightly put succulently that when Speech is Silver, Silence is Gold. If you feel that instead of discussing issues of importance, you or your partner are becoming argumentative and the topic is left untouched then this is for sure a matter of concern. It is better to maintain silence then to make the matters graver.

Think for a while and give it a thought that was it necessary to get into arguments. Is it just the difference of opinion letting to the arguments or is it the stress of work that is coming in between you and your companion. Early symptoms are feeling irritated and not willing to discuss the matters because you don’t care about the home front anymore.

Do not let these arguments become a part and parcel of your life because this habit will eventually eat into your career front as well. So, avoid a rough scene at all cost with your partner.

3. Impatience is creeping over you

This is another danger sign that you need to keep in check. Impatience with your family members and especially with your companion can cause long-term relationship issues. Anyone of you, who-so-ever is more stressed with work-life will slowly start resenting your efforts/work. This resentment can be felt in the increasing impatience portrayed by your partner.

They might not participate in the tasks that you feel are important, or might even quit while you would want to discuss important issues. Do not let the bug of impatience creep on your pristine relation. It is better to talk patiently and let your partner understand the cause of worry in your life.

4. Social events stress you out

Social gatherings and events will take a backseat in your life. People will enquire about you and your busy schedule from your family members and you will miss out on precious family moments. This might be good for the career front momentarily but at a later stage you will feel felt out.

Depriving oneself from the family events and social life is not a social to keep your professional life all time high. You need must maintain a balance at the work front and personal life as well. If your job leaves with no time or such engagements then it is time that you consider your job stressful and think about other good options that will let you live a better life.

There might be a situation at home where you start feeling ignored by your spouse or kids and in fact parents too. This is not the truth of life that you immediate family members love to ignore you; rather your actions towards them that let you get such a treatment.

You might find kids busy with their homework and other hobbies even when you are at home. Your spouse busy with her daily tasks of market and parents engaged with their routine schedule. During this time, you might want to draw their attention towards you but in the end you will find no one around.

6. Sarcasm is used in between the lines

It is said that ‘sarcasm is the lowest form of wit’ and if you consider conversing with your partner sarcastically too often, it will hurt the already wounded relation. When you are agitated with your office matters, then you will find yourself talking sarcastically quite often. Remember, this attitude is not looked upon with pleasant feeling by anyone.

Especially, when you interact with your companion, a degree of respect is expected in a relation. Avoid use of sarcasm in your conversation and be direct in what you need and what you don’t. Your opinion matter in the family and they need not listed to your belittling words that demean their role in your life.

7. Work is always your 1st priority

How hard you try but personal affairs are not able to make it on the top of your to-do list. Its only work that finds place in your life and nothing beyond. On the contrary, it is important to keep the family tasks such as parent teacher meetings of kids, annual party of your spouse’s office, family functions of the priority as well. If your job doesn’t allow any time for such engagements then you must make time for yourself or seek help of your colleagues and managers.

When you are out with family, it is advisable to avoid taking business calls and keep your mobile on silent for a ‘happy outing’. Attending work related calls and messages while being with the family will spoil your mood as well. You will remain distracted and your family won’t feel comfortable in your presence.

It is advisable to devote quality time with your family and take care of their likes and dislikes. Money is needed to run the family and needs, but the valuable time with family cannot be the opportunity cost for it. If your partner is flooded with numerous official mails during the leisure time and he/she is bound to attend and respond to the same, then it’s high time that you have a word with them regarding the demanding nature of job.

9. Bringing Work to Home

Don’t bring work to home because...

Missing out on this feeling for a while in a day will make you more fatigued instead of letting you feel fresh for next day. After a long day at work when you bring work to home and get back to your room to work on the laptop, this will surely bring the wrath of your family members. After all, they need your time and most importantly you also need them. They expect a level of ease and few moments of casual conversation at home. Getting too much engrossed in the work can highlight cat-fights in your love relation.

Time is the most precious gift that you can give to your partner. When you work at home even after office, this will strain the relation because you are devaluing important people in your life. A constant flow of conversation is required to keep the relation live and intact.

Concluding...

Respecting work and family are like balance scales, you cannot let one of the sides get imbalanced because of the pressure on the other. Seeking balance is the only way in which you can seek satisfaction and success in life and hence, put your heart and soul to mend the gap between prevailing imbalance between your work life and personal life.