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Star Wars

When I was a kid, my brother and I played with our Star Wars action figures, making up weird, wild, and funny stories. In high school, I drew a comic strip based on those "adventures," where Leia's band of Rebels were well-meaning but hapless goofs you wouldn't trust with a loaded blaster,and had been exiled to Yavin under her command in order to appease her wealthy patron father, the King of Alderaan. Well, Disney must have gotten my notes, because "The New Yoda Chronicles" have all the silly sight gags and in-jokes I would have loved to have come up with myself.

This episode featured the two female leads, Sabine and Hera, who until now have been barely getting any screen time, so I had high hopes for it. Unfortunately this was solidly "meh" from start to finish.

I think they just don't know what to do with Sabine. In this one, she played the part of impatient, angsty teen daughter against Hera's patient "we tell you what you need to know" mother figure. About the only plot advancement we get is that Sabine used to attend the Imperial Academy.

In this episode, Kanan tries to teach Ezra the ways of the Force, but it quickly becomes clear that not only is Kanan not a very good teacher, but he may not have been all that good of a student, either. After all, as Yoda said, "there is no 'try.'"

Losing his temper and almost getting Ezra killed during a particularly complicated excercise, Kanan decides to attempt to break a legendary Jedi Master out of an impregnable Imperial fortress in order to foist the lad off on "the best teacher possible."

In this episode, Ezra, Chopper, and Zeb get on each other's nerves and threaten to destroy the Ghost with their sparring, so Hera sends them into town for some supplies, including a particular kind of fruit that she knows very well doesn't grow on Lothal. Ezra and Zeb bag far bigger quarry on this particular snipe hunt.

Well, Dark Horse Comics has released the concluding issue in its adaptation of the very earliest draft of George Lucas' The Star Wars, and the best thing I can say about it is, "Well, it was...interesting."

In one of the letters to the editors in the back of the magazine, it is observed that this script was adapted from a very rough draft, and that the story went through several massive rewrites before it made it to the screen. Thank God for whoever George had helping him edit this, because this version would have gone down in a blaze of obscurity.

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