Last we heard from free agent wide receiver Terrell Owens, he was hosting open workouts in front of zero NFL GMs and he most recently signed with and purchased part of an Indoor Football League team. But apparently NFL teams shouldn’t take that as a sign that he’s done with his pro career. In fact, Owens is more than ready to play in the NFL again, despite nobody having any interest in him anymore.

Enter: Incredible desperation. Owens was interviewed for this month’s edition of GQ magazine, and not only does he once again try to play the misunderstood victim card, but he’s also readily admitting that he’s practically broke, due to his child support payments to four women and some awful business investments that he blames partially on his former agent Drew Rosenhaus. To put it bluntly, Owens says he’s “in hell”, but at least he’s optimistic.

“I will be here next year,” he says, up on his feet, his jaw set. “I’ll be fit and healthy and ready to play.” He says one of the mothers of his kids is pushing him to look into a steady gig, coaching or television commentating, but he “doesn’t have his mind on that yet.” He still believes he has a couple of seasons left in him.

By the door, he lingers near a stack of shoeboxes piled pec-high. New basketball kicks?

“Cleats,” he says, flipping open the top lid. He forces a thin smile. It’s hard to tell just what the sight of the sharp, shiny spikes is doing to his head at this moment. But like his grandmother told him, you’ve got to be strong. And when you tell the truth, you’d better be prepared for the consequences. “I’m ready,” he says, letting the lid fall shut. “They may not be ready for me, but me, I’m ready.”

Of course he is. One of the mothers of his kids is pushing him and undoubtedly reminding him that he owes a sh*t ton of money and will be broke before he knows it.

The feature is fascinating and you can read it all here. At first I worried that it would just be his take on everything – a biased offering of why he’s history’s greatest victim – but the author, Nancy Hass, did an excellent job of talking to the people that Owens blames for everything as well.

It’s also kind of sad in a “we all saw this coming and so many people tried to scream it at him” kind of way, but can anyone really feel bad for the guy? He wants nothing but unconditional love from people but he never wants to admit that he’s more of the problem than anyone else. I assume he won’t ever play again in the NFL, but crazier things have happened.

I read the article while taking a shit the other day and it was good enough that my foot fell asleep from sitting on the john for too long. Going back to his childhood, you can kind of see why he is such a dick. He just seems to be socially inept.