Fixing parenting issues

Updated 5:29 pm, Monday, February 18, 2013

Kirk Martin (left) is a parent educator and founder of Celebrate Calm. Martin, of Nashville, Tenn., travels with his son, Casey, 19, offering workshops to parents and teachers.

Kirk Martin (left) is a parent educator and founder of Celebrate Calm. Martin, of Nashville, Tenn., travels with his son, Casey, 19, offering workshops to parents and teachers.

Photo: Courtesy Photo

Fixing parenting issues

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Many parents of school-age kids want to know how to get through the crazed daily morning routine without raising their own blood pressure, how to make sure homework is done without nagging, how to keep from yelling when a child simply refuses to do what needs to be done.

Martin, who has gained a devoted following of thousands across the country, offers concrete solutions to everyday parenting dilemmas, and he is bringing his Celebrate Calm program to San Antonio with a free presentation tonight. The workshop, at St. Luke's Episcopal School, is from 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. and is open to the public.

“Nobody wants to feel like they're all alone out there,” says Dick Heath, interim head of school at St. Luke's, which is hosting Martin's first San Antonio appearance. “There's a community of parents that care deeply about their children and want to help but aren't sure what strategies to use.”

Based in Nashville, Tenn., Martin travels the country speaking to auditoriums full of parents and teachers, drawing on his own experiences parenting his son, Casey, who he says grew up with ADHD. Casey, now 19, travels alongside his dad full time and helps lead the seminars.

“He gives parents the view from the kid's perspective,” Martin said during a telephone interview.

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A former businessman in new-product development, Martin took an unconventional path toward becoming a parent educator. When Casey was young, Martin came to a realization that yelling — as Martin's father had done — was not effective and was driving his son away from him.

He began to experiment with different techniques, such as sitting down when talking to Casey and speaking more softly. He noticed positive results.

So he decided to begin inviting children to “camps” held at his then-home in northern Virginia and, after placing an ad in a community newspaper, he began to teach self-control to children with ADHD.

As the camps grew through word-of-mouth and online forums, Celebrate Calm was born. Today, Martin shares his message with thousands of parents via online videos, a Facebook page (10,000-plus likes) and CDs and DVDs sold on his website, celebratecalm.com.

His message is one that resonates with any parent who has endured a battle of wills (so, pretty much every parent): There is only one person you can control, and that's yourself. He aims to help parents teach self-control to their kids rather than attempting to “make” the children behave.

Martin encourages parents to lead rather than to force, to consider their own perfectionism, control issues and anxiety, to model calmness.

“The more we get on our kids, the more we push and pressure and lecture, the more we get the exact opposite result,” he says.

More Information

Celebrating Calm

What: Free parenting workshop

When: Tonight, 6:30-8:30 p.m.

Where: 15 St. Luke's Lane, St. Luke's Episcopal School

Details: Open to the community. To register online and reserve your spot, go to eventbrite.com/event/5360810328. To check on walk-in availability, call 210-826-0664.

In any sphere of life, Martin says, we tend to respect people who stay cool and calm under pressure. It's no different in the home.

“Kids are looking for a leader. They want to follow,” Martin says. “But they only follow when we're in control of ourselves, because it makes them feel safe.”