Hermes: And it's excited about you, LaBarbara. First order of business is to put on your uniform and take your ID photo.

[Hermes reveals a bikini and a cap which that are coloured in green and red and show a very simple representation of the Planet Express logo.]

[Scene: The Planet Express hangar. Time lapse. Fry, Bender, the Professor, and Hermes are preparing a photo shoot for LaBarbara, Amy and Leela, dressed in sexy costumes and seemingly not liking the situation. Amy is naked under a lab coat, bunned-up hair and thick glasses, LaBarbara is dressed in her uniform, and Leela is in an astronaut costume.]

Leela: Look, I agree that it makes space walking more comfortable, but, for a photo shoot, it's a little... Unsavoury. Over.

Bender: Time is money, peaches. Now shut your com link and make love to the camera. And remember: I'm the camera. [Leela is photographed on top of the ship, LaBarbara, inside a bathtub filled with packages, and Amy, on the conference table with a holographic Saturn. The three girls are then protographed at the same time, scrubbing the ship.] Stop actually washin' and play with the sponges!

Leela: But the ship is dirty.

Bender: Uh, whatever. I ran out of film an hour ago.

[Scene: The Planet Express conference room. Zoidberg, Hermes, LaBarbara, Amy, and Leela are seated at the conference table, the Professor and Bender are standing up, and Fry is leaning against the lable. The Professor examines the photographs with a magnifying glass.]

[Back to scene. A sign with the Plan Am logo reads WE HAVE TO MAKE MONEY AND IT SHOWS. Another sign reads GATE K. An escalator, which is being used by April, gives access to the ship. At its end, Bender acts as a baggage screen for a line consisting of Hattie, Dr. Cahill, Victor, Sal, and Petunia, beeping. His beeping suddenly intensifies.]

Bender: Welcome to Plan Am Flight 1 to Acapulsar. The local time on Acapulsar is five years from now. [Victor sets his clock from 3011 to 3016.] In the event of a wormhole sendin' us back in time, do not kill your parents. If you who are travelling with small children, help them not to kill you before not killin' your own parents. Now please turn off all electronic devices.

[Bender turns himself off.]

[Cut to: The Planet Express plane cockpit.]

Fry: Uh, preparing for takeoff.

[Hermes presses the AUTOPILOT button and the plane takes off, overflying a falafel store and ripping off its roof. The man inside is visibly angry.]

Man: I kill you, my friend!

[The man is hit by a bag that fell from the plane, screams, and falls down.]

[Scene: Space. The plane leaves Earth.]

[Cut to: The Planet Express plane hall.]

LaBarbara: [into a speaker] I hope you all enjoyed our timey beverage service. [Petunia waves. Her seat is filled with bottles.] Now sit back and endure our in-flight entertainment.

[A screen is lowered from the ceiling. Zoidberg bursts through it.]

Zoidberg: [quickly] Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! [with a normal speed] So what's the deal with airline food, hmm? They offer you two choices, but they're always outta one. Uh, by the way, we're outta both choices.

Big rock Alien: I am not familiar with this concept of gender. My species has only a single gender, known as nuchacho.

Zoidberg: Interesting. [furiously] Come on, men! Let's kill him!

[Zoidberg, Bender, Fry, Hermes, Victor, Scruffy, Sal, and the Professor run towards the rock Alien and cheer, but are stopped by a pink fridge. The Alien goes back to addressing the group. Hattie, the Professor, and Victor are also shown to be listening this time.]

Big rock Alien: Your genders differ in many ways, but, as with all things that are different, chocolate and vanilla, Mac and PC, one is always clearly better.

Bender: Chocolate, Mac, men. The end.

Big rock Alien: Well, I've got nothing to do for the next eight million years. Therefore, I will administer a series of tests to determine the superior gender. Test number one: Who can drink the most sulfur? Test inconclusive. Test number two: Who can drink the most arsenic?

Professor Farnsworth: Just ask us some damn questions.

Big rock Alien: Very well. Which is larger? An Italian size four or an American apparel medium? [Women.] How many calories are in a small green-tea yogurt. [Women.] Name any twelve of the Desperate Housewives. [Women.] How was your day? [Women. The women cheer.] Test complete. What is the score?

Bender: Uh... Men, five. Women, less.

Amana: Hey! He's lying.

Big rock Alien: Obviously. That was a test to see who could lie better. The men win that round.

[The men cheer.]

Professor Farnsworth: In your face, decumbent urinators.

[They begin arguing yet a third time, but are separated by the pink fridge.]

Big rock Alien: So far, I have learned nothing, but that's probably as much my fault as yours. [enthusiastically] The time has come for the final test.

Fry: Uh, we usually call it the lightning round.

Big rock Alien: As you may have noticed, it's getting hotter here.

[The women agree.]

Leela: It's nice.

[The men agree.]

Fry: It's too hot.

Zoidberg: [angrily] Would one of you chicks change the thermostat?

Big rock Alien: Tomorrow morning, this planet makes its closest pass to the sun. You will all be boiled alive like retired circus animals. Unless you somehow can cross the Great Alkali Plains and reach shelter in the Cave of Harmony.

Fry: That sounds hard.

Big rock Alien: Which ever gender reaches the cave will survive and may the inferior gender burst into something. Flames, I guess.

[Scene: Gypsum desert.]

Hermes: Uh-oh. I think we're walking in circles. I recognise the pattern of striations on that gypsum formation.

Hermes: Okay... So we were hot. I stole Amana's freon coil so we could hook it up to Bender's ass and build a cooler.

[LaBarbara gasps.]

LaBarbara: You are no better than me, ya shifty tree skink! How do you live with yourself?

Hermes: Damn it, woman! You are makin' me highly Selassie.

LaBarbara: Don't you talk to me that way, you big, hairy Belafonte!

[Hermes and LaBarbara begin making out.]

[Scene: Crystal mountain top, morning.]

Hermes: Oh... You cookin' me back bacon. Thank you, woman.

LaBarbara: That's not back bacon! That's your back bakin'!

Hermes: Oh, no! We overslept.

Amy: The mercury's boiling!

[The women cough.]

Petunia: Can't breathe... Lungs burnin'...

[Petunia lights a cigarette.]

[Cut to: Cave.]

Fry: My lucky shoe!

Bender: Goodbye, cruel me! [Bender.] I learned that from a movie.

Big rock Alien: I find both genders supremely disappointing. The real reason I administered this bizarre, outer-space test was to teach you to work together! But you couldn't. Thanks to you, I lost my bet with the Borax Kid.

Fry: Never bet against me being stupid.

Big rock Alien: Enough! Your gender differences have kept you from achieving harmony. There is only one way to resolve this conflict.