One final stereotype I’d like to shatter is that Christians don’t like anybody that isn’t a believer. That’s not true. In fact, we’re called to go into the world and mingle with all people. If you want to join the faith, great! If not, well, we’re still existing together in this world and trying to make the best of it as we know how. Christ’s command to love one another means that we respect people, whether they agree with us or not. It means being a decent human being and being polite and courteous to others. It means demonstrating the grace we have received to everybody we meet, and realizing that they have just as much a right to be who they are as we have to be who we are. In other words, don’t be a jerk. You gain nothing by that. Treat others with the same respect that you want to be treated with, no matter what. It might be reciprocated. It probably won’t in some cases, but living by faith isn’t about what you receive. It’s about doing what’s right because it is right and you want to shine the light of good on the world, and that’s reason enough. Walking the walk is the most powerful testimony you have. Remember, people are influenced by the actions they see; not the words they hear. Everybody’s talking. Not everybody is doing. You can’t expect people to embrace joy if you’re griping and complaining all the time. Where there’s life, there’s hope, and where hope is, grace abounds. The end times haven’t come yet, so there’s still an unlimited amount of grace to go around in this old world. There’s grace for you. There’s grace for me. There’s grace for everybody! Let’s live in the joy of that grace. See, Christians aren’t the stuffy, tight lipped, Bible-toting, hard nosed, closed minded morons that you expected. We live in this world one day at a time, just like you do. We even have a unique personality and quirks just like everybody else. We’re still human beings, and we certainly aren’t better than anybody else. All that really makes us different from the rest of the world is where we lay our foundation. Everybody is rooted in something, and our foundation is Christ. What’s yours? I hope you’ve enjoyed this wild ride through inspiration from somebody that by all rights, should have probably kept it to herself. What can I say? I’m a writer. I guess the extrovert in me won out this time. Now I shall retreat back to the introvert and work on my next novel. Stay tuned. It’s a humdinger. Grace, peace, and joy to you, now and every day! I’ll see you on social media, my blog, and in my next publication. Cheers!

I had a problem Sunday morning. It started with the devotional I read on the hypocrisy of humanity to wave palms and proclaim Christ a king one day, and shout “crucify him!” a few days later. The pastor’s sermon on it being impossible to reconcile the hosannas with the crucifixion drove the point home: we lost. It was really humanity on trial during those holy week days, and we’re guilty. Christ paid the price; Christ won the ultimate victory; but the fact is that without Him as an intercessor, we’d burn.The pastor said in the children’s sermon that we’re a lot like donkeys, and Rick laughed. I know why, because I laughed too. The pastor meant that Christ can use us for His purpose but yea, you know us. You know what we were really thinking. We’re like donkeys alright. Stubborn and stinky, and I won’t say the rest because this is a PG-13 blog. As I’ve been on this Lenten journey, it occurs to me that we spend a lot of time in the desert. The 40 days are symbolic of Christ’s time being tempted by the devil in the desert, but if you think of it, we spend an awful lot of time in those “desert places” ourselves. Most of life is in the everyday humdrum, doing your best to make it through. We can’t see how what we do today will impact tomorrow, next week, next month, or next year – or if it will matter at all. I posted this picture of The Grand Canyon because it’s truly one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen. Pictures don’t do it justice. Being there is an overwhelming experience. There was a stillness there that I’ve never experienced – it even seemed to swallow up the chatter of the tourist passing by.I remember that my first thought looking at the red rock and blue sky stretching on forever is “this is reality. This is the world God created.” The only noise was the noise we created. And it occurred to me that humans create an awful lot of noise. There’s beauty in the desert, as you can see here, but it can also kill you. It all depends on what you bring with you. Come prepared, and you’ll be alright. You may even find inspiration and beauty in the desert. Come unprepared, and it will kill you. I think you know where I’m going with this. Faith it the thing that brings you through, and yet faith is the thing we struggle with most because the devil is always countering it with doubt. There is a battle going on, but it’s not in the silence of this world – it’s in our soul. Free will leaves us in a pickle. It’s God’s greatest gift, and yet Satan has found a way to make it just a tight enough noose to hang ourselves with. The noise is really inside of us. So how do we quiet our souls with the peace that Jesus died for us to have? Our journey through life means that we’re always moving. God doesn’t move, but we do, through every decision we make. It may be big steps or so small that we don’t perceive it, but we’re always moving in one direction or the other. It’s not easy. We struggle, perhaps more than most, because we know what’s right and we fight our human nature every day. I think that’s one thing that people outside of our faith don’t understand. They think that believers should have smooth sailing through life, and use our hard times as justification that faith is a waste of time. But the fact of the matter is that Jesus promised that there would be struggles, and that applies to everybody, whether they believe or they don’t. We’re all going through the desert. Nothing can stop that. What matters is what you have with you. Faith can keep you alive when others are sucked to dry bones. Hope tells us that nothing lasts forever and that we will make it through if we persevere. And love is what saves us and keeps us alive on the journey – the love of Christ to grant us grace and save us, and our love for others to help and support one another through. The pastor was right. It is impossible to reconcile faith with humanity. It’s a tangled ball of contradictions that’s good for nothing but a headache and undeniable guilt. The good news is that Christ took care of that struggle for us all. He paid the price, so we don’t have to overthink it and twist ourselves up in knots trying to make sense of it. The trial is over, the penalty is paid, and the case is closed. Now it’s time to move on, armed with the grace and salvation provided, and find the quiet beauty of the desert. That’s all today. Take care and have a great Holy Week. Bye!

One thing I pondered over during my covalence from the wasp sting are books I’ve read that challenged my thinking. I believe there are some books that every person should read, at least once in their life, because they have the potential to shift our paradigm on how we see life and the world. There are many books on this list, so in order to keep my entries to a reasonable length; I’ll break it up over three entries. I’ll also include links to Amazon so you can check these out for yourself. Be forewarned – this isn’t “light reading,” but that’s the whole purpose – these books engage your whole mind and challenge you to think. I’ll begin the list by digging to the deepest levels of all – faith and eternity. The Bible. There are many great devotionals that give you meditations on verses and sections of the Bible, and even more guides that give you intensive studies of books and subjects covered in The Bible, but have you ever actually read it from start to finish? If you’re a Christian, it’s important that you know the Bible in order to apply it to your life properly – plus, a read through gives you not only the information, but the history of Christian faith. It’s amazing what you see reading it through from start to finish. There are many versions and reading plans, many geared toward a 1 year reading plan (because that breaks it up into readings of about 15 minutes per day). Find a good study Bible in a translation that you can easily understand, and make scripture reading a part of your daily routine. (I’ve linked to the New Revised Version because that’s my favorite). The Other Bible. I’ve been told by many people that I shouldn’t have touched this one with a ten foot pole, and no doubt I’ll come under fire for suggesting it. This book includes The Apocrypha, The Gnostic Gospels, and The Dead Sea Scrolls – basically, the stuff that didn’t make the “cut” at the Council of Nicaea for The Bible that we know and love. I don’t suggest it for “new believers,” but I think it’s a good idea for people of established faith to get an idea of the thoughts and ideas that shaped our faith and what early believers were seeing and reading. I’ll admit that The Gnostic Gospels are all kinds of crazy to me, but I don’t regret reading it because guess what – those beliefs are still alive today, albeit not widespread. (And I did wind out using some of this for Splinter). Are they true? Are they not? I think it’s obvious why they didn’t make the cut, but I think it’s also good to learn how our faith has developed since the days of Christ. If your faith is solid, then you have nothing to fear because there’s nothing in there that should jerk the rug out from under you. So give it a read – if you dare. The Divine Comedy (Inferno, Purgatoria, and Paradiso) by Dante Aligheri. Tour hell, purgatory, and Heaven with Dante on Good Friday in the year 1300. This trilogy is definitely one that will shift your paradigm on the concept of eternity. On the one hand it’s not for the faint of heart. On the other hand, I believe everybody should dare to read it to understand that there are worlds beyond the one we see, and they aren’t anything like what we know. Its not easy reading, but it’s worth it. And bear in mind that Dante wrote this based on a real “vision” that he had. There’s speculation that he was in an altered state when writing it, but so was Edgar Allen Poe when he did a good bit of his writing, and we still hail it as literature. Plus, if you read the Books of Enoch and some of the revelations in The Other Bible, you’ll find interesting parallels between the texts. It makes you wonder whether it’s fiction, or something more. The Great Divorce, by C.S. Lewis. It’s a more up to date, easier to understand view on the after life. Take a tour of purgatory with Lewis after his fictional fall from a chair to see a glimpse of “the other side” and see what it takes to navigate purgatory to catch the bus to Heaven – or miss is and wind out - exactly where? An interesting read, easier than Dante but still makes great points, and not too long, either. The Screwtape Letters, by C.S. Lewis. I absolutely love this book because you get a glimpse of Christian faith from “the other side.” Demons tell of the trials and tribulations of winning souls to hell and what it takes to damn a soul. It’s enlightening with humor in some places and things that will absolutely jolt you in others. Sometimes you can learn a lot from looking through the dark side of the mirror. Another one that ponders – is it fiction, or something more? Next time, I’ll move to living and social issues. Here’s a sneak peek at what else is on the list:How to Forgive – When You Don’t Feel Like It (June Hunt)Battlefield of the Mind (Joyce Meyer)Rising Above the Level of Mediocrity (Charles Swindoll)How to Win Friends and Influence People (Dale Carnegie) 1984 (George Orwell) Part 3 will be just for you writers. I’m working on a list of reference books that will help you write better and get published. Stay tuned! That’s all for today. Tune in next time for the social issues edition. And have a great week. Bye!

Can you see the Colorado River in my picture from the Grand Canyon here? If you squint and look really hard, you can see a green triangle down there at the bottom, just right and down of the center of the picture. That’s it. I remember looking at it and thinking “that’s it? That’s the river that supposedly carved out all of this?” I was surprised, especially when I saw a special on The Grand Canyon on satellite TV a few weeks ago. That’s a huge river! They have rafting trips along it that last over several days. I was shocked to see this huge river with very active rapids. My perception from the top of the canyon was way off. It looked so small from where I saw it, but if I had been down there at it, I would have seen something completely different. Something that was, indeed, capable of carving out that canyon, and a whole lot more. I thought about this yesterday as I was reading my devotional. This year, I’m reading A Year with C.S. Lewis, and the reading was from Mere Christianity. He wrote “That is why we must not be surprised if we are in for a rough time. When a man turns to Christ and seems to be getting on pretty well … he often feels that it would now be natural if things went fairly smoothly. When troubles come along – illness, money troubles, new kinds of temptation – he is disappointed. These things, he feels, might have been necessary to rouse him and make him repent in his bad old days; but why now? Because God is forcing him on, or up, to a higher level: putting him in situations where he will have to be very much braver, or more patient, or more loving, than he ever dreamed of being before. It seems to us all unnecessary: but that is because we have not yet had the slightest notion of the tremendous thing He means to make of us.” Today’s reading continued the course by stating that once God starts working on you, He doesn’t stop – ever – until you attain perfection in Heaven. That was the word in season that I’ve been seeking. I knew I was getting mired down in things that didn’t really matter. It felt so much like the challenges I face are the same old things, and I wondered why I had to keep going through this, over and over. The devotionals these past two days opened my eyes to the fact that I’ve been mistaking moving up with being stuck and going around the same mountains. It looks the same, but it isn’t. I’m back here not because I didn’t get it last time, but because there’s something else in the situation this time that’s meant to help me rise to a higher level. But why is this so? The answer struck me yesterday – or within 30 feet of me, literally – when lightening hit a transformer near the traffic light I was at. I saw that bolt of lightening come out of the sky and blow up that transformer. Good grief! That scared me! I just walked out to my car, griping about how running through the rain and thunder was stupid, and here was an indication of what it really was. I wasn’t so tough. I’m a mere human being, at God’s mercy, and I better be glad for it. And being a human being is exactly why these things happen. Time and chance happen to us all, believers or not, but you can count on the fact that if you accept Christ then the Lord is going to use that time and chance to take you out of your shallow little world and lift you up to higher ground. All of life is an evolution process, of moving up from the level you’re at. We’re meant to keep growing, to keep learning, to keep becoming better people as we experience life. To put it in the context of my Grand Canyon illustration, we aren’t supposed to sit by the river, worrying about what it might do next. Yes, it’s carving rock. It’s transforming the landscape. But you aren’t supposed to sit there and wait. You’re supposed to keep climbing and keep rising so you can see the bigger picture of the beauty it’s creating, from the bottom up.

I know a lot of this sounds like so much mumbo jumbo to a lot of people, but this has been a big discovery for me. Frankly, I chose to stay offline for a few days because I knew that my perception of life was off, and I didn’t feel it was fair to spout my thoughts to the world if they clearly were off base. I knew I needed an attitude adjustment, and I needed it soon before my head got bigger than this statue in Scottsdale that shocked me the first time I saw it. That’s a huge head, and if I didn’t get things in perspective then that could have been me! Well, figuratively anyway. And you know that this is exactly what you think when you run across people that are saying "me, me, me" and "I, I, I" all the time, going on about themselves and their problems all the time. Well, now you have a visual for that. People that are all gloom and doom and so sucked into troubles that they can only see the worst in everything are already defeated by life. They might as well rent a digital billboard because everybody can see it, and nobody wants to get sucked into it. I certainly didn't want to fall into that trap. I think I understand now that trials and troubles are likely more the norm than those quiet seasons. Evolution is a process that never ends, so something is always going to be worked on or worked out. If you put this in context with Lewis’ Law of Undulation from The Screwtape Letters (that life naturally cycles between highs and lows and every human being is at some point in the cycle their entire life), then you get a truer context on how life works. Change will always be there; resistance will always be there; there’s always going to be one more thing to work through; one more higher goal; one more higher standard to attain. As they say, it is always something. But the something that it is isn’t always what we think. The purpose is not to beat you down, or to break you, but to build you up and help you rise to see things more clearly; to see the beauty in what looks like the jumbled mess of life. There’s a method to the madness. We won’t know what it is until we leave this world, but through our experiences we get glimpses of that truth, and of how it all works together. If we put it in perspective, we can allow it to light our path and feed the hope of our faith, a day at a time. You all know that I’m a big believer in the verse in Galatians 6:7 about reaping and sowing, but it goes on to explain that there’s a method even to that madness. Read two verses further and you’ll see that Paul uses this principle not to admonish people, but to encourage us to keep fighting the good fight when he says “and let us not grow weary in well-doing, for in due season we shall reap, if we do not lose heart.” (Galatians 6:9) Yes, it’s always something. And that’s as it should be. If we persevere, if we take what we’ve learned and allow ourselves to grow, then it’s ascension to a new level. We’ll behold the beauty of what our life is meant to be. And the raging rivers of life don’t look quite so intimidating from up here if we are truly learning from each experience and rising to new levels. The problems of yesterday should be easier now that we’ve learned from them. They might come back every now and then, but they should get smaller as we progress, because we know how to handle them and aren’t intimidated by those old demons any more. That doesn't mean that I'm okay with anything that happens, or that I have a "whatever" attitude toward life. I still have plenty of questions. I still wonder what good some things do, or if it really took quite that much to get me where I am, or where I need to be. I ask "why" more than is probably good for my faith or my mental well being. But I also realize that there are opportunities in every situation, no matter how small. I'm determined to persevere. I'm determined to rise above circumstance and the things that threaten to drag me down. I refuse to be defeated. Jesus died so we could have and enjoy life, and I'm claiming that promise for my life, every day, no matter what the circumstances. Because there is something to enjoy in each and every day, and we can claim it. It all starts with the small things. Never despise them. They build up to the big things, to the ascension that brings us to that higher ground above our trials and tribulations. In closing, I’d like to say thank you, Lord, for a word in season. I needed it and hope sharing it here helps others to put their own trials into perspective. But about that lightening bolt. Okay, I got it pretty quick. Now let’s leave blowing stuff up to the sci-fi and fantasy books and movies, okay? That’s all today. Thanks for hanging in there with me! Have a happy Friday tomorrow and a good weekend. Bye!

The last few entries have been so serious. But it's Friday, and I think it's a great time to lighten up! So here's some fun stuff about me. Remember a while back when I started this blog and did my "List of Second Favorites?" I did it at my previous blog on Writing.com and it was quite popular, so I copied it here when I started this blog. Well, I thought about doing a list of third favorites but frankly, I didn't come up with much. Here's what I got:Color - Green (after pink and yellow)TV Show - Breaking Bad (after Supernatural and Arrow)Day of Week - Sunday (after Friday and Saturday)Genre - Fantasy (after Sci-Fi and Mystery)Hobby - Counted Cross Stitching. And here's where I tripped myself up, because I said it was third behind writing and reading. Then I realized oh yea, I'm an independent author. I believe the writing has elevated way above hobby phase. So that would put reading at my favorite hobby and cross stitching at second, with no time for a third at all in my life right now. So that fun list fizzled out. And frankly, you're getting into the "who gives a crap" zone. So here's a few other things about me that perhaps you didn't know. Did you know I'm a failed Christian writer? It's true. My first book, Battleground Earth - Living by Faith in a Pagan World, was published in 2004. It did okay for a little while, then flopped. I know, it's pretty pitiful to fail at THAT, but after a few years of failing to get real traction in that area, I took a short break and realized that I really like fiction and decided to try that. And the rest is, well, in progress. But so far, it's picked up faster and is rolling along better. And frankly, I enjoy writing fiction more. I don't count out inspirational forever, but the truth is that I have a few too many rough edges to be accepted as a Christian writer. It's fine. There are plenty of other things to write. The mystery is rolling along and I'm excited to be delving into sci-fi (which is my dream!) now. Who knows? Maybe I'll enter National Novel Writing Month someday. I'd certainly like to. It's just a matter of having the right ideas at the right time - which hasn't happened since 2010 when I wrote Splinter.

You know I like college football, especially the Southeastern Conference. I also like baseball. I'm a lousy cook, which in the south is like missing a major limb or organ. Women around here LOVE to cook and experiment with recipes, but I just can't seem to do really well in the kitchen. I've tried, but after a while I realized that's why there are so many restaurants around. A lot of people don't believe it and say "well, you just don't LIKE to cook so you don't INVEST time to get better at it." No, that's not it. I really do suck. They don't understand that telling me "a sprinkle of this and a dash of that and cook it until it's done" is like me telling you that to write a novel you start at the beginning and write until you get to the end. We all have things we're bad at, and I'm afraid that's it for me. I can cook well enough for us to get by fine. And as for the holidays and covered dish functions, I'm happy to let the women graced with culinary skills take over and show me how it's done. So I'll have the cleanest house and office in the world, and let others take the cooking honors. I used to like fishing. I actually took a course on how to fish through my previous department, and I did enjoy it. The problem is limited time and opportunities, and, much like cooking, I wasn't particularly good at it. It's been at least 5 years since I last did it. And frankly, that was also the time they took us to the range and taught us how to fire shotguns and some basic archery, and I liked both of those better than fishing.I eat popcorn almost every day. I love the stuff! The birds love it too. We enjoy our "popcorn parties." Speaking of our feathered friends, you know I love them. I get that from my granddaddy, who also loved birds. We were alone in this passion - most of the people in my family are cat people. In fact, my parents and my in-laws feed the feral cats around here. It's probably why their numbers keep growing and growing, and why my birds are getting used to watching cats walk through the yard all the time. But they don't venture too far, because the neighbors on the other side of us have 3 horses. Life outside of city limits is interesting. And as an additional note (that nobody believes), I've never had a dog. Ever. It's always been birds and cats for me. I've never traveled outside of the continental United States. Of course, I had never gotten on an airplane until 2 years ago, so that could very well change in time. And speaking of my travels: I loved Arizona, I liked San Francisco, and I hated Miami. Arizona was red rock, blue sky, and beautiful weather in late winter. San Francisco was new and different. But Miami was too chaotic and the food was WAY too spicy and weird. Okay folks, I think that's enough for one day. I hope this has been a good break from the fluff of fiction and the chaos of reality. Have a Happy Friday and a great weekend. Bye!

I'm glad there are some people out there that have never been bullied, challenged, or have been forced to suffer at the hands of people with ill intentions. I'm glad you've never had to go "head to head" with people that believe you need to be "fixed" because they believe you're too idealistic or that your morals are silly or stupid. I'm glad there are people that never have to stand up to anything because they're never challenged and the world just falls at their feet. I'm glad they can confidently say "I don't get what your problem is" because they don't have any.

But you know what else? For all the security you project, I also pity you. I pity you because it's a false security. You never have to stand because you don't stand for anything. I pity you because you're blind to the realities that the world is bigger than you can possibly know, and that there are forces at work in this world and in the universe that you ignore because you can't put your hands on them. Because you don't see it with your eyes, you criticize. And you're on perilous ground.

Criticize my faith all you want. You will never turn me away. I believe in Christ and I believe in The Bible. I also believe in the one thing that makes most of you squirm and start screaming at me about why my faith can't be right: accountability. That's the one area where I'm called on the most. "If God is love, then He won't hurt us," people say to me boldly.

No, He won't. But others will. And if you do wrong, He won't save you from the consequences. He does love, He wants what's best. The Bible even says He wants no man to be lost. But we also have a choice, and it also says that believing in forgiveness isn't permission to sin. We know better and we're expected to act like it. If we don't, we will suffer at our own hand.

God won't hurt us, but we can hurt ourselves. And we do it plenty. All the time. Every day. Every book I've written is about people who refused to be obedient to what they should do, and they suffered until they woke up, realized what was right, and did it. I'm not a religious writer, but I won't allow a character to win by doing wrong. That's a personal conviction. Any victory from doing wrong is temporary, and I want to show readers the path to lasting victory.

For all that smirk and say "Oh, then you say God delights in revenge but He's also love?" remember this: King David was a man after God's own heart, but he still paid for the sin of adultery. The son he fathered through that sin with Bathsheba died. God was grieved by this sin and forgave David, but He didn't erase the consequences of doing wrong. And it's why David didn't make that mistake again. He feels the same way when we go on with our bad selves and set ourselves up in similar ways. He's not a "smitey God" (as someone on Facebook proposed), but He won't absolve accountability. He will correct us in love and hope we will learn and not cling to stubbornness and continuing to make the same old mistakes, over and over. If there are no consequences, we never learn. If we never learn, we never grow, improve, or get better. We have no compassion for others because we are isolated in ourselves. Lack of accountability is a cycle of self destruction, which is why God won't allow that to happen. And so squirm all you want but we are accountable. You might think you are beholden to no-one, and you're wrong. You're dangerously wrong. No, life isn't easy. It's hard and it hurts and it downright sucks sometimes. I'm not sure why some things are allowed to happen and I'll be honest enough to say that I have a "what good did THAT do?" list of my own. Sometimes I actually blog about things on this list. But I've learned this much in my 37 years on this planet:

1. I don't have all the answers; and

2. It's okay that I don't have all the answers. In fact, over the past couple of years, I've come to feel that I don't WANT all of the answers. That's more responsibility than I care for, and to me, faith is better than trying to process all of that.

Believe or don't believe - it's your choice, and I'm not going to beat you over the head with a Bible or argue theology. In fact, I see the fact that you argue as a good thing. Because if you argue, then you're thinking about God and faith. And if you didn't care at all, then you wouldn't go to all of that trouble , because nobody's got time for that.

Did you know that I started out as a Christian inspirational writer – and failed?

It’s true. And by the way yes, I feel like a special kind of loser to fail at writing Christian books and devotions. Of all things – you think you’re doing a good, right thing and manage to screw it up anyway. Wow, I had to be a special kind of idjit to manage that, right? Well, maybe not. As it turns out, God has plenty of preachers, teachers, and inspirational writer’s out there. And really, my style is too straight-forward and in your face to really speak to tender souls. It took me a few years to discover it, but it turns out I’m better at working “in the trenches,” side by side with regular folks, and my personality and knack for weaving a tale do fit in better with the fiction market. Truth be told, I like writing fiction better anyway. It’s more challenging, but it’s also a lot more fun. I love these stories. I turn them over in my mind all the time, trying to create just the right characters and put them in just the right world for the plot I have. Once it’s written, I wonder how they’d react to my world. I project them into real life and try to flesh them out and plop them back in the story with a little more meat on their bones. My world rattles and I make their world shake. It’s fun. It’s exciting. There’s nothing like it! I’ve also found that my fiction work is received much better. It seems people are more receptive to a story when they’re free to take it and fit it in their own world; and that’s fine. I’d say that’s what writing fiction is all about – giving them glimpses of your world and letting them fit it in their own in the best way possible. A great story takes you other places, but imagination based on the reader’s world allows each one to see it differently. Readers have amazed me with their comments on some of the things they saw in my stories; things I didn’t even think about but they were able to see it because of their own experiences. Fiction is as much creative work for the reader as it is for the writer, and in a way that makes it a cooperative effort. Non-fiction tells it to you and you have to take it as is. Fiction opens a range of possibilities and allows the reader to run with it to places that you as a writer didn’t even dream possible. It opens the mind. It opens eyes, not just to your world but to the details of their own that they might miss. A good story lives on after the last page is clicked or turned and follows you back into reality. It makes you see things differently. It makes you imagine more. So yes, I failed as a Christian writer but that doesn’t mean it was a total failure. I did learn a lot about writing and the publishing industry, so I went into my fiction forays with a great deal of background knowledge and was able to succeed at that much faster than it even took me to find a break in non-fiction. And I took that knowledge to a place where I do belong. Because truth isn’t limited to a genre. It comes through all places.

As if the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School Friday morning weren't bad enough, apparantly there are some in Newton, Connecticut that want to keep bringing the chaos as a Catholic church in the community received a death threat for their noon mass today. Fortunately, Yahoo News reports there was no incident and the church was evacuated, but it's still a disturbing reminder that there are people out there that want to do nothing but cause chaos and keep people in a state of paranoia and hysteria during a time that's supposed to be about forgiveness, celebration, and peace. It's sick, I know. It's tragic and incomprehensible to even fathom what those families are going through. They were preparing for Christmas and now they're planning funerals - something that's too much for most of us to even think about, and we wonder how they can possibly live through this. And the #1 question on most minds is "how could God allow such an awful thing to happen?"As a Christian, I'll tell you the truth: I don't know. And I won't even try to justify or explain it either, because I'm not afraid to admit that I have absolutely no clue why this was allowed to happen. Honestly, I can't imagine how this tragedy could work toward any kind of good, now or even in the long term. How could the senseless death of 20 children be justified? How is that possible? I don't know. Really, that's a conflict that many Christian's face, although many won't admit it. You can't justify faith, and when it comes to situations like this when you don't have the answer, I'm afraid that even many believers have too much pride to admit that they don't have all the answers and they can't explain why they choose to maintain a trusting faith in God when the truth is that they struggle with fear, doubts, and our own lack of understanding. They say "it is well with my soul," but I have yet to meet a person that's ok with any old thing that happens. "Whatever - praise God anyway!" is something I hear a lot from the mouth but I've NEVER seen in practice. Here's my take on it: I know there's a big picture and this is part of it. I know God is grieved and will comfort the families in whatever way necessary, but I don't know why He let it happen. We aren't going to know that "big picture" this side of Heaven and for that reason I say: It's not alright. No, it isn't. It's evidence of the sin and imperfection of this world. It's tainted creation. I remember reading in one of C.S. Lewis' books that man was not created to die, so the very fact that we do as a result of sin is unnatural. Sin is unnatural. Bad things are unnatural. This world wasn't created for it, and yet everything got screwed up and God decided to let us keep on going anyway - to offer salvation through Christ, but we still have to do our time in this world, that teeters on the balance of the joy of creation and the chaos of sin. It's completely mucked up, and I'm putting that mildly because I try to keep this a PG-13 blog. So no, I don't say it's alright because it isn't. Suffering is NEVER alright. And yes, I know the paradox arguement that we wouldn't appreciate joy if we didn't know suffering but in the case of 20 dead children - yea, shove that arguement. Nobody wants to hear it. There is no justification for it. You know what I say? If you're confused, admit it. If you're mad, go ahead and say it. Yell and scream at God if you need to. Tell Him where it's at. He can take it. And frankly, He would rather you get mad and just let it rip then lie and say "ok, whatever, you lead the way." I think you come through these shattering trials a lot better if you're honest enough to say "hey God, this sucks! It's Festivus for the Rest of Us. I've got a lot of problems and You're gonna hear about it!"Go ahead and do it. It's not a dare and I'm not speaking in jest. Because above all the chaos, beyond all the madness, God is love. That's why He let us go on and chose Salvation over abandonment. Because sometimes life sucks, but He still loves us and the creation He made. He still wants us. And nothing you say or do will make Him stop loving you. So go ahead and yell and scream. He can take it. In fact, I believe He'd be glad you trusted enough to tell Him the truth. So let it rip. I'd also like to say one more thing. This is awful, and it's no secret that people are crazy and lunatics are everywhere. No doubt, our mental health system is in need of drastic reform because things like this just keep happening - but I dealt with that particular issue after the massacare at the movie theater in Colorado last summer, and there's no need to digress. But please try to remember that there is still good out there. I heard the story of the mother that told her child that if she was scared to look for the helpers because the helpers are always there. That's absolutely true. God did allow this to happen, but He also made sure there were people there to help. That there were healers and protectors and leaders around that could be there and guide those that were lost, confused, or hurt. It might be hard to see, but good is out there. There are still people around that want to do what's right and to help others any way they can. Look for their light in this darkness. Ok, that's my soapbox speech for the day. No doubt, it's been a crazy few days. I pray we can all heal and come to some sort of resolution to this, even if it's a unity in our grief and confusion now and in the days to come. Pray for those families, folks. They need all the help they can get and while we can't all be there for them, collective prayers could be the most powerful help for them now. Have a good start of the week, folks. Take care and be careful out there. Bye!

WARNING!! This blog entry contains extreme moderate material. If you are offended by anything, you shouldn't read it.I dropped my second Facebook friend yesterday. I often have to pare down the follow list on Twitter because of follow limits, but Facebook sets the bar higher, so I'm not there yet with them. That means that if I drop a Facebook friend, something happened - and considering this is only the second time I've done it in 2 years, well, maybe I'm lucky. Oh, this person wasn't harassing me or anything. In fact, I hated to do it and I don't feel happy about it at all. Seems the problem is that many of this persons friends objected to materials they posted on their wall, and told them so. They got extremely angry, and have posted several acidic posts basically saying that if you don't like it, too bad, this is me. Well, this week it turned downright toxic. And I've been patient, but when I saw the post that said "just drop me if you have a problem with what I say because I probably didn't ask for you to be my friend anyway" I said "fine!" and unfriended. Folks, over the past week I've had to deal with two professionals that died (one was serving on a committee with me), office politics taking a nasty turn, a tense committee meeting with dissenting opinions that wasn't altogether pretty, the garage door breaking, and the usual calls and emails from people that think our laws are stupid and we're too tough with our standards. I simply don't have the time or energy to deal with a parasite that throw fits for everybody to agree with them "or else." After the offline issues at my door, "or else" looked pretty darn good that time.I try to be patient and tolerant with people. I know everybody isn't going to agree with everything I say, and that's ok. The truth is, I'm a moderate, and we don't tend to be inflamed firestarters that want to set the world ablaze by writing all the wrongs under the sun. Our world isn't black and white and we aren't consistent. My radio is set on BBN and Cold's "13 Ways to Bleed Onstage" has been in my CD player this week. I have absolutely no problem living in the shades of grey that make up the world and I don't feel I need to justify my beliefs or likes to anybody. I don't have all the answers and that's ok too. I, like other moderates, am accused of being a conformist when the truth is that we are the most radical non-conformists under the sun because we are square pegs and we refuse to be pounded into the round holes that make the left and the right comfortable. They can't figure us out, and I think that's why we irritate the hell out of them. Last week was a great case in point. I got lambasted by some because I said I thought it was really silly to get inflamed over Truitt Cathy's support of traditional marriage when there's so much crime and violence in our society. Let's quit fighting, I said, and focus on coming down harder on people who abuse animals and children. I was called a hypocrite. "You want to punish those that hurt animals, but you eat meat!" (Thanks to my cousin for pointing out that the Bible says some animals are ok to eat and others aren't).I was told to quit being a whimp. "You're a Christian and it's high time we took a firm stand on something!"I was called judgemental. "You're straight!" Ok, duh. I've been married for 14 years. Yea, I like men. I've never had THAT said to me like it's a problem. But also "You're judgemental!" And best of all - "it's symbolic of standing up for something. You don't get that?"Oh, I get it. I'm Lutheran. We're all about symbols. Read my books and you'll see how into symbolism I am. But I guess my perspective on this goes to a bigger picture than symbols. For example, last week:1. A guy that shot and killed a high school classmate was released from prision. He admitted to being involved in her death, but his conviction was downgraded from a death penalty case to time served and he's on the street again; and 2. I heard two awful stories of parrots being killed by people in brutal and horrific ways. Just because they could and the animals couldn't defend themselves. I'm sorry folks, but I fail to see how buying a chicken sandwich on August 1 saved the institution of marriage, which has been around since the dawn of humanity. I think the 50% plus divorse rate in this country shows a lacadasical attitude that will undermine it much more - and it's surviving that. Plus, the world is going to hell anyway. Are you really surprised? This isn't the only social injustice under the sun. I mean, take a look around. But according to the right and the left, I don't get it. Whatever. The truth is that I do have fire in me, but I suppose my view of what's important is different. And if that makes me bad, oh well. Call me what you will but the truth is, I have other places to channel my energy. Like my two books in progress right now. Still, I do believe everybody has a right to their opinion, and I have no problem with people expressing it. In fact, sometimes I do seek those on "the other side" in an attempt to broaden my horizons and to get greater understanding. I find it interesting and I do like to learn. I am a writer, after all, and people do interest me. I love to hear their stories and what they think. But when it becomes "my way or the highway," well, I CAN drive 55 and I will, right on outta there. In closing, I'll say that Jesus himself said He came for the sinners that need healing, and we ALL need healing in some way, shape or form. Everybody's got problems (as a moderate, I have absolutely no problem admitting that I do). He welcomes us all, and that's a good thing for everybody. I say let's try, at least, to show the love He commanded by having respect for others' opinions - whether we agree with them or not. If the dissention is too sharp, you can do like I did on Facebook and just go away. You don't have to win every battle. And if you read this entry despite my facious disclaimer above and are offended, here's a video share for you. That's all today. Happy Friday to you. Bye!

Greetings, and welcome to my new blog series titled “From Sidekick to Superhero – Claiming Your Place in the World.” This idea was actually born from suggestions from several people that I return to my first book, an inspirational self-help book titled Battleground Earth - Living by Faith in a Pagan Worldand update it with lessons and life experience I’ve gained over the six years since it was published. It sounded like a great idea, but in looking over that manuscript, I discovered something shocking: I’m not the same person I was six years ago. While my morals and basic ideals haven’t changed, I have undergone a radical change in my perspective on life and the world that make the approach I took with Battleground Earth seem inadequate and, frankly, too elementary for me to return to. I feel I’ve moved to a new level and as such, I need to pick up at a point beyond that particular book. (Plus, I’ve also switched to writing fiction due to changes in the publishing industry since that time). I do welcome you to purchase and read it, though, because it provides an excellent foundation for the very intent of this blog series. So what is the point? It’s simple. My platform is finding your purpose through God and being authentic. I have always believed that if your foundation is in Christ, then the ground level should be knowing, accepting, and appreciating the person God made you to be and to build your spiritual house based on His purpose for your life. The problem is that we live in a world where things like authenticity and unique perspectives are not only devalued but mocked. I suppose it’s always been this way, so nothing has really changed, but with the spread of technology the pressure to conform is coming at people in means and ways that didn’t exist before. It’s harder to find quiet places to be alone and to disconnect with the world. It’s harder to turn off the pressure to conform. It’s harder to stand up for what you believe in and to find the courage to be yourself when you’re pounded with messages through the countless means of communication telling you to get in your place and stay there.

Personally, I believe that I’ll be in a box when I’m dead, so I refuse to be trapped in one now. I also have a very strong and independent personality. Life experience has shown me that it’s actually very difficult for many people – maybe most – to be themselves. They don’t feel like it’s safe because they fear judgment from others, many times from those closest to them. They believe in Christ, but they don’t understand the freedom Christ brings. They don’t have to be in a box, but they stay there because it makes other people happy and it’s easier to stay there than to fight their way out. Rising above where they are might make others uncomfortable or unhappy, and they don’t want their individuality to cause trouble or pain to anybody.

That might be the safe way and the easy way, but I believe there’s too much at stake to play it safe. First, life is too short to settle for the lowest common denominator. God created you for a purpose and the greatest tragedy isn’t how people reacted to you, but the fact that you will one day stand before Him and have to explain why you weren’t the person He made you to be, and why you didn’t fulfill the purpose He sent you to fill. Too many of us fear judgment from others when we should be concerned with the final judgment where we will answer for all – it’s the classic tunnel vision of only seeing what’s convenient today at the expense of the good of eternity. Second, there’s no guarantee that people will be happy or comfortable no matter what you do. People have an inherit sense of when people aren’t being genuine or honest with them, and they resent it if they feel like you’re wearing a mask. I know, I just said we live in a world that prizes conformity – but people also don’t like to be deceived. It’s a double edged sword. They want you to want to center your life around their desires/wishes/convenience, but the truth is that none of us were created to be a sidekick to anybody. God meant for all of us to be superheroes, and you’re never going to find peace, contentment or joy in your life until you mine that hero out of the muck of conformity and let it fly in the light of day.The purpose of this blog series is to share my faith, journey, and observations with you on how I discovered myself and “grew up” into the person I am today. Experts are great, but sometimes it helps to hear from somebody that’s travelling on the road with you. Consider this blog series as a companion along the way.

As we start this journey, I’d like to spell out a few disclaimers for you:

· I’m not trained in the ministry, so this isn’t formal theology. In other words, this isn’t “meat and potatoes.” It’s more like your cup of coffee in the morning. It’s intended to wake you up and set you off in the right direction. There are many resources from those formally trained in theology and psychology. I’ll draw from some of those sources (and other media) and will hopefully offer you others to point you in the right direction for formal education on the issue of individuality. Here, I offer my experiences, observations, and personal knowledge to get you started on the journey of finding your authentic self.

· This is Christian and it’s Biblically based. I’m not going to beat you over the head with a Bible, but it’s based on scripture and I will quote scripture if and when it’s relevant. And other things as well. · I welcome feedback. You may agree or disagree with what I present here. I’d never deny anybody their opinion. In fact, I encourage and welcome your feedback. If you agree and find some spiritual help, please let me know. If you think I’m coming from outer space, tell me. Writers need to know what their readers are thinking and how their work is being perceived and received.

Welcome to the journey! I hope there is insight, knowledge and spiritual help offered through this blog series and that we all come out of it enlightened and stronger than before.

Next time – The epiphany that changed my perspective on everything. It was more recent than you think, and it will explain why I titled this series Sidekicks to Superheroes.Bye!