Video: Even Jon Stewart laughing at western threats towards Iran

posted at 6:48 pm on September 29, 2009 by Allahpundit

Alas, the joke’s on us: This same bit could have run more or less unaltered at any point over the last seven years. Skip ahead to halfway through for the Iran stuff, which begins with, I kid you not, more than a minute of semen puns.

Want to hear something funnier than the Daily Show segment? Even now, even now, after the president himself announced the discovery of a secret nuclear site that’s too small to power a reactor but juuust right for making a bomb, U.S. intel’s still willing to given Iran the benefit of the doubt on weaponization. Really:

Behind their show of unity about Iran’s clandestine efforts to manufacture nuclear fuel, however, is a continuing debate among American, European and Israeli spies about a separate component of Iran’s nuclear program: its clandestine efforts to design a nuclear warhead.

The Israelis, who have delivered veiled threats of a military strike, say they believe that Iran has restarted these “weaponization” efforts, which would mark a final step in building a nuclear weapon. The Germans say they believe that the weapons work was never halted. The French have strongly suggested that independent international inspectors have more information about the weapons work than they have made public.

Meanwhile, in closed-door discussions, American spy agencies have stood firm in their conclusion that while Iran may ultimately want a bomb, the country halted work on weapons design in 2003 and probably has not restarted that effort — a judgment first made public in a 2007 National Intelligence Estimate…

In the case of the plant outside Qum, designed for uranium enrichment, some nuclear experts speculate that it is only part of something larger. But a senior American official with access to intelligence about it said he believed the secret plant was itself “the big one,” but cautioned that “it’s a big country.”

This distinction has huge political consequences. If Mr. Obama can convince Israel that the exposure of the Qum plant has dealt a significant setback to the Iranian effort, he may buy some time from the Israelis.

Per that last bit, if there’s one thing Iraq doves and Iran hawks should be able to agree on at this point, it’s this: Tragically, American intelligence simply can’t be trusted anymore not to skew its findings to suit a political agenda. Beyond that, the debate over whether Iran has designed a warhead yet is a debate about nothing, really. As any nuclear expert will tell you, and as I reminded our readers just a few days after the now infamous 2007 NIE was released, building a bomb is the easy part; the hard part is figuring out how to enrich uranium to the point where it’s suitable for a warhead, which of course is what Iran’s been busy doing for most of the last decade. It’s like arguing over whether a nut with a machine gun and a loaded clip in his hands is dangerous yet if the clip hasn’t been inserted into the gun. As for the claim by the unnamed U.S. official that the Qom site is “the big one,” read down to the bottom of the Times piece and look for the response from nuke expert Graham Allison. I made the same point he did over the weekend: Given that Iran’s whole strategy in dispersing its nuclear facilities geographically was to avoid a decapitating strike by Israel a la the Osirak raid on Iraq, why on earth would they build a single secret site and make that the linchpin of their enrichment program? If you believe the official, they’ve basically built an Osirak in the mountain near Qom — precisely the opposite of what they’ve intended all along. How likely is it that they’re that stupid?

Exit question via Ynet: What if the talks in Geneva this week break down, sanctions are imposed, and then Iran retaliates by deciding to pull out of the Nonproliferation Treaty? If they do that, calling the west’s bluff by kicking out UN nuclear inspectors and throwing NATO into a panic that they’re about to go full-bore towards weaponization, what’s the next move from Europe and the U.S. then?

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If Iran does that, calling the west’s bluff by kicking out UN nuclear inspectors and throwing NATO into a panic that they’re about to go full-bore towards weaponization, what’s the next move from Europe and the U.S. then?

Exit question via Ynet: What if the talks in Geneva this week break down, sanctions are imposed, and then Iran retaliates by deciding to pull out of the Nonproliferation Treaty? If Iran does that, calling the west’s bluff by kicking out UN nuclear inspectors and throwing NATO into a panic that they’re about to go full-bore towards weaponization, what’s the next move from Europe and the U.S. then?

None of that matters even one iota because Israel has been tasked with taking out Iran’s nuke industry, after which the West and the US, under the Traitor-in-Chief, will join in the greatest effort to exterminate 6 million Jews since Hitler. Everyone will be very happy and enthusiastic about these developments, and the anticipated end of Israel, except for American conservatives and some conservative Europeans.

It’s comical to even propose that the West, or the US under this moron, intends to stop Iran from doing anything. I mean, come on.

The only realistic way to prevent Iran from getting nukes (apart from massive, widespread air strikes) is to throw full support behind the Green Revolution. At the very least it would keep the regime distracted and buy a little more time. If successful it would be a game changer.

It’s a fairly obvious move that Team Obama has probably never even considered.

building a bomb is the easy part; the hard part is figuring out how to enrich uranium to the point where it’s suitable for a warhead, which of course is what Iran’s been busy doing for most of the last decade.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t RUSSIA know exactly how to build the freakin’ bomb? And isn’t Russia helping Iran?
The deal is done. They’ve got what they need as far as I can see.

What if the talks in Geneva this week break down, sanctions are imposed, and then Iran retaliates by deciding to pull out of the Nonproliferation Treaty? If Iran does that, calling the west’s bluff by kicking out UN nuclear inspectors and throwing NATO into a panic that they’re about to go full-bore towards weaponization, what’s the next move from Europe and the U.S. then?

Whatever the response I doubt it will involve the U.S. Military in any way. Nor will it harm any U.S. corporate interests trading with Iran(G.E.).

If they do that, calling the west’s bluff by kicking out UN nuclear inspectors and throwing NATO into a panic that they’re about to go full-bore towards weaponization, what’s the next move from Europe and the U.S. then?

Obama will then do what he always does in a difficult situation…vote present.

Tom Clancy fans will recognize that as the home town of Ayatollah Mahmoud Haji Daryei, the city that President Fowler wanted to waste at the end of The Sum of All Fears when Jack Ryan failed to confirm the launch order.

…a line in the sand
…another line in the sand
…another line in the sand
…okay this is my last line in the sand
…I really mean it this time
…I really really mean it…

Mojave Mark on September 29, 2009 at 7:22 PM

Mojave Mark:

Meanwhile,back at Team Jihady cave,er under da mountain,

Abbyabdabby,oh praised you know who,I cannot believe this,
out great leader,DinnerJacketNutCase has promised and deli
vered almost three years of glorious stall tactics,I tell
you,most blessed are we,and now the Great Betrayer,through
an almost most serrendipity mircle talks like De Javu,aka
Neville Chamberlain,I cannot believe this,you know Achemed
… …. Snark!!

If they do that, calling the west’s bluff by kicking out UN nuclear inspectors and throwing NATO into a panic that they’re about to go full-bore towards weaponization, what’s the next move from Europe and the U.S. then?

Some confusion concerning this question.

Do you mean what should they do, or what will they do?

The answers to these questions are diametrically opposed.

Should: Band together and present a united front against the ambitions of Iran by sanctions, blockade, and surgical strikes if necessary.

Will: Stand up at the UN Security Council and yell (diplomatically, of course) “Don’t make us count to 3″

O. K. it’s now time to get really serious, Iran you are now on notice that you are on double-secret probation. What a joke this Pres is. he is in so over his head, no experience, everyone taking advantage of him and we suffer.

Impossible, because according to Hotair, Jon Stewart never ever ever ever ever sh*ts on Obama.

Dave Rywall on September 29, 2009 at 7:35 PM

Gee … Stewart made some jokes about “on notice” … that’s really sh#tting on The Precedent. What is wrong with you Dave? Seriously.

We’ve got a moron in the White House treating Iran as if they were Delta Tau Kai and you think a couple of mild remarks constitute sh#tting on the Traitor-in-Chief. Please. A real comic would have gone to town on the Indonesian moron, not just made a few mild jokes about “on notice”. A decent comic would have, at least, mentioned “double secret probation”, at the very least. But, then, Stewart was never funny and you people (his audience) are too stupid for real humor, anyway. You people are too stupid for pretty much everything.

Obama is putting Iran on notice?
Good lord, what a tool.
I wish that I could see inside his brain when he has his “Oh sh!t” epiphany.
See, presidents all have enormous egos. Which, of course, isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Just like most other humans, they want to be recognized as having done a good job-legacy and all that.
Now, at some point, the well known anti-Semite Jimmy Carter had an Oh Sh!t moment when he realized that he was not only universally perceived as the worst president ever, but was in fact the worst president ever.
“Oh sh!t”, I’m certain Jimmy thought to himself as he lay in bed, “I was the WORST PRESIDENT EVER”.
That was when he started on the steep part of his downhill slope to insanity.
Obama will, in the very near future, realize that, instead of being the clever stealth leftist who is going to reshape the country in his image and punish it for all his perceived transgressions, realize instead that he has been a dupe and used as a leftist tool for most of his life.
He will realize that, instead of being known forever as his fantasy version of a successful and non-dead Il Duce, that he will forever be known as a modern day Nero, and, in fact, the absolute worst president of all time.
I hope that Michelle and he realize it at the same moment, sort of like the closing scene of The Graduate, when Dustin Hoffman and Katherine Ross surely thought to themselves, “Oh Sh!t.”

I’m thinking we need someone that…..wellllll…..might be going rogue to take care of the little Piss Puppy Adminijickled or whatever his name is (the little Goat man).

When Miss Naughty Monkey high heels stands up before the U.S. and says “America is back, she’s proud, and she’s ready to stand firm for freedom and all that hold those ideals close to their hearts“. The dictators in that UN hall won’t be applauding but when your enemies don’t praise you……THAT is what you want.

Feeling a little Rogue……and looking for 1-20-13 to send the Thugs back to CHI-TOWN.

What if the talks in Geneva this week break down, sanctions are imposed, and then Iran retaliates by deciding to pull out of the Nonproliferation Treaty?

Allah, do you forget Russia, North Korea, China, Venezuela and India in that mix?

They all seem to be working together.
upinak on September 29, 2009 at 6:52 PM

Ummm.. upinak, sorry but i have to point a few things out for you.

A. India IS NOT A SIGNATORY to the NPT – it would be maniacal not to mention suicidal to have the largest nuclear armed communist country in the world as your fricking “neighbor”.. yes that would be China

B.It would be beyond suicidal if you dont have nuclear weapons when your “other neighbor” is an Islamic country that is full of crazed and blood thirsty jihadists.. yes that would be Pakistan.

C. India does have normal relations with Iran -but that does not mean we are “working together” – and the only people in India who like to Venezuela, China and NoKo as “friends” are commies – just like the treacherous ones in your country.

India’s relationship with Israel has grown stronger in the last 15 years – you obviously dont seem to know much about it.

Another link here about the same launch – you have to remember that the Indian PM did this while having rabdly anti semitic communists as allies in his ruling coalition. Who are DEAD SET against good relations with both the US and Israel.

D.What ever we may or we may not be, we sure as hell share very little with the likes of Russia, China, Venezuela, NoKO..

The Obama administration is in deep shit.Its been well known that ever since he came into Office, he has been trying to appease muslim countries in the middle east. He really fucked up now because he is wondering what he is going to do about Iran without pissing off the other muslim countries. I mean, did you guys see the video where he bowed to who was that? A Suadi Prince or the King himself? What is really bad for him are the Israelis. The facts are the Israelis are going to bomb the nuclear facility in Iran and no one can stop them. You think Obama is going to tell them to stop? The Israelis don’t trust him and they don’t really care what the U.S. will say if they do bomb Iran.

And when this moment arrives and the narcissistic Pinnochio, the boy with abandonment issues and a huge ego, when the unapologetic liar realizes he has let his puppet masters down he will become truely dangerous and the CIA had better have a plan and someone besides Pinnochio had better have their finger on the nuclear trigger, otherwise this could end badly, if it isn’t already destined to.

If Iran does that, calling the west’s bluff by kicking out UN nuclear inspectors and throwing NATO into a panic that they’re about to go full-bore towards weaponization, what’s the next move from Europe and the U.S. then?

Trolldom is a world inhabited by immature persons who are ostracized in Jr High and have now found a way, through the intertnet, to act like a tough guy without any risk. And Davey, you are the sovereign of that kingdom.

Honestly Davey, every time you show up here I see you as a 200 lb. bespectacled pimple faced adolescent banging away at your computer surrounded by your Star Wars figurines while your mommy yells down to you that it’s time to take your daily high colonic.

You really need to get a life outside of trying to exorcise your feelings of inadequacy on others.

Trolldom is a world inhabited by immature persons who are ostracized in Jr High and have now found a way, through the intertnet, to act like a tough guy without any risk. And Davey, you are the sovereign of that kingdom.

Honestly Davey, every time you show up here I see you as a 200 lb. bespectacled pimple faced adolescent banging away at your computer surrounded by your Star Wars figurines while your mommy yells down to you that it’s time to take your daily high colonic.

You really need to get a life outside of trying to exorcise your feelings of inadequacy on others.