We're in our 40's. We're doing IVF and looking into adoption. Game On.

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Had intended to write about this last week and time got away from me….

I wanted to speak to a number of relaxing things I’ve done in the past or am doing now, as they work for me and are very helpful in keeping alot of this in perspective. Assisted fertility is designed to prove what type of gauntlet you can run to and come out sane on the other side…and why not set yourself up to have a fighting chance.

The gal who led the support group I was going to (http://www.onewayoramother.com/) emailed all of us that Oprah Winfrey and Deepak Chopra were collaborating on a free 21-day meditation series. Alas the free 21-day meditation is already on Day 15, BUT! the meditations are good for 5 days so you can still start at Day 10 and play catch-up.

I can’t help but make the joke of Oprah doling out meditation wisdom: You get enlightenment! You get enlightenment! You get enlightenment. DEEEEEEPPPAAAAAKKKKKK!!!!

C’mon, we were all thinking it.

These 20-ish minute meditations are focussed on connecting with your desires, letting go of fears, tapping into creative energy….so they very much fit in with a fertility quest. The title of one of the meditations made me laugh: “I am focussed on what I want.” Because yes, for quite some time now I’ve been focussed on what I want. But it never hurts to clear away some cobwebs that may have grown into the corners…..though you wouldn’t think there could be cobwebs when you’ve been actively working and laser-focussed on the same thing for a long time. But I feel that in being focussed on the same thing, in some respects it’s kept me waiting in the same place for awhile. So, these meditations have been a nice way to refresh my energy and perspective.

Next up: I’ve mentioned them before but Circle+Bloom has a number of really nice relaxation programs:

I have the IUI/IVF Mind-Body program and I really like it. It’s very calming and there are different meditations every 1-2 days of the cycle and specific meditations for trigger/retrieval and insemination/transfer. The woman’s voice is very soothing and she talks you through focussing on different parts all while deeply breathing. I generally feel very nummy with these….or I do them at night when I turn in and I end up zonking out. They do feel a little pricey, but given that I’ll be listening to them for a third time this next IVF, I figure it balances out.

A gal I met in my fertility support group recommended getting a fertility massage at Pulling Down the Moon here in Chicago in the River North neighborhood:

From their website: “The Fertility Enhancing Massage Protocol, or ‘The FEM Protocol’, is a four-part series utilizing massage and related techniques to enhance the health and functioning of the pelvic and abdominal organs, promote fertility and overall mental, emotional, and physical well-being. The four parts of the protocol focus on cleansing the body, enhancing the blood, opening the breath, and relaxing and integrating, respectively.”

They had me at abdominal organs.

I got the Cleanse the Body massage which is designed to detoxify the body pre-cycle. There were light touches and super-tough body pummels, my feet got deliciously worked over and my spines got lots of scented oils. I won’t get all four massages (mainly due to cost, though they’re actually reasonably priced for a 60-minute massage) but I’ll likely try to go back at least 1-2 more times for different massages. I left there feeling like a floaty puddle…so if you’re a) in Chicago and b) looking to feel like a floaty puddle, go there and get a massage.

And last, I haven’t talked much about acupuncture but I’ve been going pretty much weekly for about a year and I really like it. I like to think it was helpful in getting me pregnant the first time. And, if nothing else, I’ve left there feeling either very relaxed and very energized depending on the treatment.

This is a nice place in the Lincoln Square neighborhood that works on a sliding scale – pay what you can within the $20-$50 window. There’s a private room with a table and a community room with 6 comfy reclining chairs (hence their ability to keep prices low). If you’re in the public room, energy points are utilized from the elbows or knees down, and around the head and face, and I’m on a fertility protocol, focussed on blood flow to the uterus, etc. (btw, one of the acupuncturists told me the uterus is called “The Fetal Palace). The needles give a tiny “pinch” when they go in, alot of them I don’t feel at all, and once they’re in you don’t feel anything else. I almost always end up falling asleep for a little acupuncture induced snooze…..I can only hope I don’t snore much…..though I’ve snort-snored myself awake super surprised head-jerk-style on a few occasions. I’ve looked around and no one’s given me the stink-eye, so I’m guessing the sound was mostly in my head.

So – go seek out some pampering for yourself, take some deep breaths, and if all else fails, go online and buy yourself some groovy shoes…..whatever’s gonna work for you.

Today started as day where I felt the depression/anxiety/overwhelmedness (I declare it a word) creeping in. I generally do pretty well but nobody’s safe: negativity comes for us all sometimes.

That.

Bitch.

It didn’t help that I fell asleep on the dog during Letterman last night and slept long enough to NOT be able to sleep again for awhile by the time I crawled into bed. I was awake enough that the hamster started running about work stuff and then I found myself even more awake. I can over-think stuff with the best of them. I put on a meditation series I’ve been listening to (I’ll write on that tomorrow) and that was enough to reroute my brain waves and eventually I was back in sleeptown. Funny, the hamster doesn’t so much run due to IVF stuff anymore, likely because I’ve made my peace with it all being out of my hands. But work? Ah work. That wheel is always greased and ready for the hamster to jump aboard.

Upon waking this morning I still had some residual feelings of grossness from an odd night’s sleep so I decided to not just fart around the apartment. I knocked out some emails, showered (it had to be done) and decided to go down to the Field Museum to see the 1893 World’s Exposition exhibit. I met a friend who works there for tea, had a nice walk around, and then decided to walk through the Evolving Planet exhibit (my favorite exhibit in the museum).

And then, the universe gave me a gift in the form of 2 dudes walking in front of me into the exhibit. They eventually got away from me, but for the 10-minutes that I trailed them they really made my day (and yes, I sent all of these in real-time to my Facebook account):

At the entrance: “Y’all, this might be a bit much for me.”

At a sign explaining a single-celled organism: (loudly) “I am sorry, but God created the heavens AND the earth.”

At a photo of Charles Darwin: “You know that guy was drunk.”

At a fossil: “Hey look, it’s an ostrich.” (It was not an ostrich)

“That’s one big-ass ground sloth.”

“I bet people actually believe some of this stuff.”

It was magical.

And even if alot continues to be out of my hands, even if that hamster runs from time to time, even if I never get over over-thinking….at least I’m okay with evolution.