Tuesday 13 May 2008

Fear

3 Fears, 3 SolutionsThere are three basic fears that all of us experience from time to time:Fear of Failure, Fear of Rejection and Fear of the Unknown.

Yes, there are other fears we encounter, but these three are the ones that have the greatest tendency to affect our day to day decisions, and our ability and desire to achieve our goals. Here are some very simple approaches to consider in addressing these fears.

Fear of FailureAdopt the attitude that there is no such thing as failure. There is only learning. Maybe the goal is too big and unrealistic as it is now. Is there something smaller you could work on first that is "less risky?" In many cases, the "failure" comes from a skills shortage. So, what can you learn how to do, or to better, that reduces the risk? Sometimes we feel we'll "fail" if we have to do the task on our own. Who could you ask to get involved with to accomplish the task with a greater result and less fear? If something doesn't work, try something else. You always have this choice, so "failure" doesn't have to be permanent. Has there ever been a time when you were successful? What made you successful then and can you apply it now? If you haven't succeeded at something before, what have you learnt from it that you can apply to now?

Fear of RejectionWe often focus on the thing the other person is saying "no" to. What are they saying "yes" to? What would be different if you were focused on both what you want and what the other person wants versus just being focused on what you want? Just because someone said "no" to you doesn't mean you don't have value. It's not necessarily about you. There is something to learn from every situation. What could you learn from a "no" answer? Are you really ready for a "yes" response? If you're not ready for it, you might actually attract the "no" response. You always have a choice of attitude. If you choose the negative outcome attitude, you'll attract exactly that. Remember the strengths and value of you, or of the proposition, and focus on that positive. That will attract a far more positive response.

Fear of the UnknownThere are some things you're never going to be able to know about (like the future) in advance, so stop trying. If there's information you need, what can (and will) you do about getting it? Are you trying to make a decision based on an assumption? Remember that assumptions are not facts. Do you trust your intuition? Our intuition is typically right on the mark. Even if the outcome isn't what you want, there's always something to learn from it. Learn the unknown, even if after the fact. Sometimes it takes a leap of faith. Are you willing to simply believe? If you don't try anything, you won't move at all. Taking even little steps helps you learn the unknown, so you can take a bigger step next time. What little step can you take now?