Nothing noble about taking husband's abuse

Q: I'm living with an abusive, alcoholic husband who refuses help. Medical doctors have urged me to leave him, but religious friends say I should stay and endure; as Jesus suffered, so can I.

Lawyers warn that one day my husband will kill me. Homeless shelters in the area are above capacity and the local domestic abuse shelter is being repaired following a fire. I could leave, but have nowhere to go, and the economy is not conducive to moving.

I realize you can't tell me what to do, but any ideas would be appreciated. - J

A: My chances for having a great day evaporated after reading your heart-rending email. I'm deeply concerned for your safety and for the healing of your husband. Since he refuses help, I can only pray that one day, before he hurts himself, you, or others, he'll realize he can't free himself from his corrosive illness alone.

What's true for your husband is also true for you. You must take immediate steps to save yourself from his violent, alcohol-induced rages. There is some safe place you can go. The world of protection is not closed to you. Keep searching and you will find people waiting to protect you.

The idea that you must suffer the brutality of an alcoholic husband in order to emulate the suffering of Jesus is not a Christian teaching. Jesus suffered on the cross to atone for the sins of the world. Your suffering is an example of those sins. God wants you to save yourself and protect your life.

Read Deuteronomy 4:9 and Proverbs 4:23. The message there is simple and clear, and I pray you will hear it through your agony: Your life is sacred and there's no reason to put it at risk for a man who's threatening his soul and your life. Run for your life. Run fast and run now.

Q: What does it mean to die spiritually? I know God told Adam and Eve not to eat the fruit of the tree in the middle of the Garden of Eden, but what happened to their souls?

Did they enter heaven or not? Did they even get a chance to sacrifice an animal to pay for their sin? (I am 14 and attend Catholic school in Kenosha, Wis.). - I.

A: Thank you for your question and good luck in school this year. You can tell your class that I'd be happy to try to answer any questions they have about religion or other topics.

Adam and Eve were going to live forever in the Garden of Eden until they disobeyed God, who commanded them not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

There were two trees in the middle of the garden, and this was one of them. The other tree was called the tree of life. God banished Adam and Eve from Eden before they also ate from that tree, which meant that they were not going to live forever and that they also knew the difference between good and evil.

One way to view this story is to see that it explains how and why we are human. We don't live forever, and we do know the difference between right and wrong.

Some people think that being expelled from Eden was a step down for Adam and Eve. However, I think it was a step up. In the Garden, they were just like all the other animals. They knew nothing about right and wrong. They were not fully human.

Outside the Garden, they had to work hard for their food and they were fated to die, but they were also able to decide to follow God because God is good. In the Garden, Adam and Eve only had the choice to follow God because God was powerful.

Now, as far as the fate of their souls is concerned, I think their souls are with God, just like the souls of all the people who've ever lived and made a mistake.

Their mistake was a biggie, for sure, but Christianity teaches that Jesus' death and resurrection atoned for the sin of Adam.

Think about Adam and Eve as symbols of all of us. On one hand, we want to be taken care of in the Garden. On the other hand, we want to be free and make our own decisions about life (with God's help).

I like the choice Adam and Eve made. It made life hard, but it made life better.

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Email this article

Nothing noble about taking husband's abuse

Q: I'm living with an abusive, alcoholic husband who refuses help. Medical doctors have urged me to leave him, but religious friends say I should stay and endure; as Jesus suffered, so can I.