(I just got my car repaired after getting rear-ended, and after getting home I notice that the rear windshield-wiper is installed upside down, so instead of swinging up over the windshield it swings down over the license plate. I take it back to the shop.)

Repairman: “Sorry about that error, but fortunately I can fix it in two shakes of… well, of the car’s tail.”

(The battery in my phone has been draining rather quickly, and I suspect the battery needs to be changed. As my phone uses an internal battery, I cannot simply go out and get a new one; rather, I have to send it to a service centre and allow them to open up the phone. There is only one service centre which supposedly provides this service, and the location is very inconvenient for me. Therefore, I call up their centre to ask for certain details before having to make the long trip there.)

Me: “Hi, I am calling to ask if your centre is able to change the battery for my [Phone model]?”

Receptionist: “What is your service number?”

Me: “Huh?”

Receptionist: “Service number. What is your number?”

Me: “I don’t have a number; I am calling to inquire about your service.”

Receptionist: “Oh, what do you want?”

Me: “Do you provide service for changing the battery of [Phone model]?”

Receptionist: “No. You have to send it in. We don’t know what’s your problem.”

Me: “Look. There is no problem. I just want to know if you provide the service. If you don’t, then I will be making a wasted trip there. And I might be without a phone for a few days so I need to prepare a backup.”

Receptionist: “Then I cannot help you.”

Me: “You can’t even give me a quotation for the services you provide?”

Receptionist: “No, because we don’t know what’s the problem.”

Me:*speaking slowly and clearly in my last attempt to make her understand* “Okay, the problem is the battery. I need to change it. So, how much would that be?”