I love milk. It’s probably the only thing keeping me alive given my absurd diet, or lack thereof. When I’m eating out or if it’s on sale at the grocery store I’ll often treat myself to a nice tasty Chocolate Milk. I figure it’s the next best thing to white milk and way better than washing down a meal with sugar water pop.

I have noticed lately that Beatrice brand 1% Partly Skimmed Chocolate Milk is being replaced by ‘1% Chocolate Milk Beverage’ in packaging that looks almost identical on store shelves. As a connoisseur of Chocolate Milk I’m intrigued, and ready to take offence at what I find. Yes, messing with Chocolate Milk is offensive. And so the question must be asked, open-mindedly of course: What the fuck is Chocolate Milk Beverage?