Published 8:00 pm, Saturday, September 23, 2006

It took roughly five decades, but they finally did it. My interest is zip, zero, nada - just like their offensive production most games. What once was there is no longer there.

As Gertrude Stein once said, "There's no there there."

Now I understand. She was a Detroit Lions' fan. She felt the pain.

The piles of losses, inept performances, bad draft picks, losing coaches, woeful management, passionless owership and below average quarterbacks have combined to crush my football spirit for this team.

For years and years, I cared about them, thinking that someday, someday, they'd be something similar to the Pittsburgh Steelers, Dallas Cowboys or San Francisco 49ers, franchises used to winning.

I suffered through the Tommy Hudspeth years, the Rick Forzano years, the years of Monte Clark, Darryl Rogers and Wayne Fontes, and, most recently, the merry-go-round of Gary Moeller, Marty Mornhinweg, Steve Mariucci, Dick Jauron, and now, unfortunately for him, Rod Marinelli. (How bad is it for me? I actually had to look up Marinelli's first name in our computer system because I forgot it.)

In late August, I watched the better part of a Lions' exhibition game (against the Buffalo Bills, I believe), and the thought that camped out in my head was this: "They haven't improved. They're boring and bad as ever."

At that point, my stomach twisted a little bit. I had optimistically thought this could be a 9-7 team, but, right then I realized I was living a lie. This team isn't a winning team. It's a losing team. A bad team. A lost team, wayward as a sailboat without a sail.

I had no excitement for the season to begin, something totally foreign to me. I've always been thrilled about the NFL season getting underway. And, I've always been juiced about the Lions.

Now? My interest is gone. Why follow these guys? They don't even break your heart anymore. It's beyond that. You have to feel sorry for them. It's that sad.

The close Seattle loss teased fans, making them think the Lions could compete at a high level. The Chicago loss was reality. The Lions are levels below the best teams in the game. Heck, the Lions struggle just to pick up first downs.

So, today, the Lions play the Green Bay Packers at Ford Field. Detroit might win, and, again, give its loyal fans a taste of a hopeful season. After all, they're still not mathematically eliminated yet.

I won't be watching. I can't. I just can't stomach it anymore.

However, if for some reason the Lions do return to championship glory (last achieved in 1957, three years prior to the year I was born), I'll gladly and humbly come back and follow them wholeheartedly.