Time for Dad

Father’s Day will soon be upon us! On 21st June up and down the UK we’ll be celebrating our Dads and our children’s Dads for this national celebration. Presents wise it always poses as a bit of a problem because Mike’s Birthday is within a week (or less!) of Father’s Day. To be honest, he’s more than happy with a DIY Fathers Day present like this one, that Reuben made last year, but sometimes it’s nice to get a little something extra as a thank you from me.

So I’ve put together a list of my favourite gifts for Men available at the moment!

We’ve recently moved from the sea to the countryside and as Mike’s a bit of a surfer, I thought he might like this artwork of the sea! There’s loads to chose from to find something personal for your fella or dad.

Just in case you’ve got a bigger budget, this is one lovely man bag. They are endlessly useful to have for trips to the gym to piling full of kids’ clothes for a weekend away (don’t tell him that is its destiny when you give it him though)!

Different Types of Daddy

Stay At Home Daddy – These Daddies may be similar in numbers to the Lesser Spotted Woodpecker, but if you look hard enough you can find them. These Daddies have fully taken on the role of primary carer to their babies and love being at home all day with little Tarquin. Apparently Brad Pitt is a SAHD, when Angelina is away filming. If it’s good enough for Brad….

Dragons Den Daddy – These Daddy’s believe the most important thing they can do for their children is to financially provide for them. They work very long hours and rarely see the children. Wives of DDD’s have to shoulder the entire responsibility for the childcare, but they never have to worry about whether to buy from Waitrose or Aldi.

Big Kid Daddy – Also known as ‘Friend Daddy’. BKD thinks he was put on the earth to be his kids best friend. He wouldn’t dream of disciplining the little darlings and has habit of winding them up before bed time and then losing interest, leaving BK Mummy to scrape them off the ceiling.

Waste Of Space Daddy – This type of Daddy unfortunately does still exist. WOSD’s heart isn’t really in it. He is there simply because his name is on the birth certificate. He wouldn’t dream of helping with either chores or childcare and would be out of there quicker than Usain Bolt given the chance.

Drill Sergeant Daddy – DSD is all about rules. He demands good behaviour at all times and his children are in strict routines. There are no toys or raisins strewn around in DSD’s house.

Competitive Daddy – From the minute his offspring take their first breath, CD is off and running. He would have newborn Todd doing crunches if C Mummy didn’t watch him like a hawk. He compares his children with all other children he comes into contact with, mentally keeping score on their development. As they grow he becomes increasingly focused on ‘coaching’ them to win and be the best at everything they do.

Every Day Daddy – The EDD is really present in his children’s life. He is the main breadwinner, but does spend time with his little ones. He wouldn’t relish being a SAHD, but tries his best to be a good dad and have a positive influence.

Bad Example Daddy – It is very apt that this shortens to BED, as the BED is quite likely to be found in bed or on the couch, certainly not helping with anything useful. THE BED loves his family, he just thinks everything can wait and tends to make more mess than his sprogs. Poor BE Mummy!

Indulgent Daddy – This Daddy could also be known as Pushover Daddy. Everything little Fifi wants he gets for her. Her behaviour is never in question, because he believes she can do no wrong. Others may think Fifi is a bit of a brat, but to him she is perfect.

Thanks Aby!

Do you know a BKD or have you got your own SAHD daddy?!

I’d love to hear your thoughts on Aby’s fabulous list in the comments below! And don’t worry, if you’re a daddy, you can also decide what your partner is here: Different types of Mummy!

Mike, I’m about to reveal all about what’s going to happen for you on Father’s Day this year, so if you wouldn’t mind not reading, that would be great!

I find men pretty hard to buy for at the best of times but June is a killer month for me what with Mike’s Birthday, swiftly followed by Father’s Day! Thankfully at this stage I think Father’s Day can be limited to acts of kindness and amusing little home made gifts (which is not the same as Mother’s Day of course!).

With Father’s Day a little over a week away, on 15th June, I’ve pulled together my favourite ideas (all gleaned from Pinterest and stored in my Father’s Day pinterest board) and basically what I plan to do on and for the 15th.

Father’s Day – 4 thrifty gift ideas

Room Service – unless it’s juice that he wants, Reuben’s not going to be much use for this task but Gabriella will LOVE it; reading the card, helping me make breakfast and then all munching in bed! *Oh crumbs* You can get a free download room service door hanger, courtesy of 733blog.com, by clicking here!

Daddy questionnaire – another thing I think Gabby will enjoy doing is filling out this questionnaire (a free printable from Kinzie’s Kreations). You could equally do it for your little one if they’re too young to write/talk!

Breakfast-in-bed Father’s Day topper – To accompany the Room Service, we can make one of these toppers from Ruby Ju! Gabby can write it and Reuben colour it in. Although the only cocktail sticks I have are cocktail umbrellas – well, it might be raining…

His favourite dinner – with it being a Sunday I can imagine Mike will want sunday dinner, but he also loves fresh fish dishes, so I’m thinking some of my amazing marinaded fish with extra chillies in a taco or wrap and a nice cold beer would go down very well! With Gabriella (not the beer) and me too…

So there you are, keeping it thrifty and simple. I have one other idea up my sleeve and I will share next week with Reuben’s help! It might even be a Vlog…

What are your ideas for Father’s Day?

I’ll level with you. I’m really missing Mike. I want him home now. Reuben has taken to toting round a little (yet to be framed after 5 years) photo of him and Gabby, shouting “DAD” at the top of his lungs. I think he misses him too. I literally CANNOT wait to see his little face when he finally sees Mike on Sunday. It’s going to be so precious. In the meantime, while thinking about Mike, I was scanning through my photos and I found a bunch of recent photos (all in March) of Reuben with various male members of the family. It’s got me thinking about what a lucky little boy he is to have so many positive male role models in his life.

His dad is around a lot, we nearly always have breakfast together. This is our family meal. He picks him up on a Monday and is normally home early on a Wednesday and Friday. Plus we do lots of fun things together as a family at weekends when we get Gabby back.

Bit of telly with daddy

His Grandad Parker is around at the drop of a hat. He has him on a Monday (with Grandma!) but is always willing to have him if he can during the week. They go on bus and train rides. Eat ice cream at the beach and generally have a great time together.

Reading a classic with Grandad Parker

Then there’s Grandad David (he doesn’t want to be Grandad Bryan – that’s MY Grandad!). You will never know work ethic like my Dad’s. He works for God – was a vicar and now teaches people to be vicars (among a lot of other things). He generally works all day and night and some weekends. And he’s a published author. But despite not seeing him as much, Reuben still thinks he’s great, which is proven by the fact that he wants to snuggle up on the sofa for supper. This is not Mr Independent’s style!

Supper time with Grandad David

Then there’s Uncle Isaac, “Ike” as he calls him. ‘Uncle’ Isaac is my 14 year old brother. What a pain in the bottom he is! I may be 31 but he’s still my little brother. Guess who thinks he’s the bomb? Reuben. Isaac will spend the majority of his time while we’re there shouting at a computer screen, then come down, jiggle Reuben about and then he’s the favourite. Unjust but true.

Playing the piano with Uncle Ike

Then last week we met with my Grandparents for lunch. We don’t see them enough, it was before Christmas when we saw them last and yet Reuben acted and felt like he knew them. You can’t make a kid that age do anything he doesn’t want (believe me) so it’s all truth. It melted my heart to see him holding Grandad Bryan’s (Great Grandad to him) hand as we walked back to the car. As I said in Friday’s Mums’ List, he doesn’t like holding hands!

Walking with Great Grandad (my Grandad Bryan so my Dad’s Dad)

And those are just the photos I have in my phone. There’s more uncles who he also loves! He’s literally tripping over fantastic male role models. Apparently, the root to being happy is to be grateful and I feel so grateful for this.

I don’t know if you saw it but last Friday night Joanna Lumley met Will.i.am. It was an amazing documentary. What a fabulous pairing. Anyone else and I wonder how genuine it would have seemed. It also showed what a gentleman Will.i.am is. I’ve never been his biggest fan or anything, just thought he was an incredibly talented oddbod! Anyway, during this documentary, Joanna Lumley talks to Will’s mother. She was a single mother and in one sentence I was blown away. When asked if she was a strict mum she said something along the lines of, “My mum raised 8 kids alone and none of them went to jail, so I knew I could and, yes, I was strict.” Did you hear that? NONE OF THEM WENT TO JAIL. In that time in their neighbourhood, that was a big deal.

I thought/worried about a lot of things when I was pregnant but I didn’t think about jail. I can’t imagine having a baby knowing that the odds were stacked that he would end up jail. I feel so lucky that that isn’t really a concern. It’s there obviously, but not like for Will’s Mother where Gangs were rife and males went to prison.

It has brought back memories of some people I grew up with, albeit briefly. When I was 10 my family moved to Birmingham. I went to an inner-city school for a year, where the crime rate was high, and there were probably no more than a handful of kids in my class who had dads in their lives. I don’t know the statistics about linking crime with a lack of positive male role models but I do believe there is a connection. I wonder what happened to some of those kids?

Anyway, hats off to Will.i.am who hasn’t forgotten where he came from and is doing loads of great and interesting work with underprivileged people. And, I hope that some of the money you helped me raise for Sports Relief can help people in similar situation.

The other side of this is being a single mother. I’ve only had a week and a half of it and I’ve been a mess. Leaving my phone 30 miles away. Leaving the backdoor open overnight. Leaving the buggy out overnight in the rain. There’s been a lot of leaving going on and Mike is normally the one that makes sure I don’t leave things. I’ve realised that I need to get my shit together and stop relying on Mike for so much! There are some incredible women out there raising children and doing a wonderful job without a full time dad.

Last week I was feeling sorry for myself. I just needed a new perspective. As I take a moment to see how my son has grown before my very eyes (we’ve been having the discussion on the Mums’ Days Facebook Wall about how new pyjamas make us realise that our babies have grown!), I’m just grateful for these men in my life and my son’s life. We both have a lot to learn from them!

I hope that made sense! Who are your favourite role models for your children?

I am also linking this in with #allaboutyou – Zaz, this is my shoehorned post so although it isn’t all about me it was a moments reflection on how lucky I really am, and a loose connection between feeling gratitude (and if you watch this fab TED video you will see how gratitude = happiness!) – so hopefully you still think it qualifies! xx

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