Change Your Actions, Change Your Attitude

I went shopping for some new yoga pants the other day. When I go shopping, I go with my old 460-pound Beth mentality, trying on sizes larger than I need. The other day in the dressing room, a clerk brought me a 3x and a 4x, so which should I try first? I looked at myself in the mirror and asked if I believed in myself enough to try the smaller ones on first. That's how I came to buy my first 3x pants in over 20 years (I used to wear a 7/8x).

Having learned from that experience, I've been trying on 2x clothing and buying it. 3X clothing still fits, depending on the cut. I was brazen enough to order clothes in a size 2x from a catalog and they FIT!!! The moral of the story is to believe in yourself and always give yourself the credit you deserve.

When I originally set my goal, I was so scared that I wouldn't even be able to lose 50 pounds and maintain it. Now I've lost 200 and my goal of 250 seems only like a resting point before bigger and better things. It's still a little scary, but I'm up for the task. That would be 260 pounds lost total. When I get there, that might seem like a resting point.

All of the small victories I've had like this have spurred me on further. If you'd asked me at 460 pounds if I could have lost 20 pounds, I would have shamefully said ''No.'' Well, I was right at that point. I couldn't. It isn't easy to psych yourself up when all you've dealt with is failure.

But now, I have a different perspective. I'm making a statement with my actions. Every day, I am retraining my mind with my behavior.

To turn your attitude around, you need to complete successful actions. What can you do this week? No, not forever, just this week. Give yourself a chance to succeed at something for a week. Can you add more fruits and vegetables this week, drink more water the next week, do 10 minutes of exercise the third week, and then practice all three on week four?

If you try just a week at a time, you will change into a water-drinking, veggie-eating, exercising person by the end of the month. YAY YOU! Now you decide on your next actions to retrain your brain to become the person that you want to see in the mirror.

It isn't about losing weight to become the person you want to be; it's becoming the person you want to be to lose weight. What would your ''ideal self'' do in various situations? I think of this ALL of the time. My ideal self does eat treats, but not every day. She splits meals, orders small, never cleans up left overs by treating her body like a garbage disposal, and she finds way to move, despite her disabilities.

Yes, I've lost 200 pounds, but that leaves me at 259, which is still very obese. But I choose not to think of myself that way. I think of myself now as having an ''inner fat voice.'' That's the voice that tells me things like ''Order large'' and ''Skipping workouts won't hurt this week.'' I say ''Shhhh! You're my fat girl voice!'' I'm DONE being the fat girl. Check out the Done Being the Fat Girl SparkTeam if you feel the same way.

There are many more attitude-changing teams on SparkPeople. Look around and see what is out there to help you meet your specific needs. Remember, it's never too late in the game and nothing is hopeless.

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Thank yo so much for this blog. I found so many bits of wisdom in it. This week, I am going to ask myself before I make a decision to eat, or not exercise, or watch TV instead of do school work....."What would my IDEAL self Do?" I LOVE this!! Thank you so much for sharing your story. You are an inspiration. Keep up the good work!!
- 1/31/2014 6:28:22 PM

I got so excited when I realized I had lost a whole pant size. I have been really struggling with finding clothes that I like and fit well instead of going for the good all fallback of big baggy clothes thinking it hid how over weight I was. When I finally put on a pair of pants that fit me nicely it was amazing to see how nice I looked.

Your advice of going a week at a time is a great one. Time for me to work for success instead of failure.
- 5/28/2012 6:22:50 PM

Thank you!! I have been trying to get back to the healthy lifestyle I had over a year ago, but life got in the way. It is a journey of one day at a time. I need to keep remembering that. I also need to tell the fat girl inside to just "shut up!!!"
- 5/4/2012 10:30:11 AM

I really like your insight into becoming who I want to be to lose weight, instead of losing weight to become who I want. This gives my journey more meaning, makes it more personal.
- 5/1/2012 11:34:39 AM

I've just started on my weight loss journey with SparkPeople yesterday. You are so encouraging! I feel I have a long way to go but taking a step at a time is good advice. Thanks!
- 4/30/2012 10:01:07 PM

Wow! Keep it up! You are so right about silencing those negative inner voices. Sometimes they sound so convincing, but the poor choices that result make you feel even worse. Your blog was inspiring. You're gonna make it to the finish line!
- 4/30/2012 2:39:06 PM

What a great blog! Your story is so encouraging. I struggle with that inner fat girl voice as well as perfection. Definetly checking out the teams you mentioned. I did notice that the Progress to Perfection Team link is wrong. It takes you to the Losing Weight and Disability Sparkteam.

I wish you nothing but the best as you continue your journey. :)
- 4/30/2012 1:37:53 PM

I absolutely appreciate you for writing this article. I know that I have to take this one day at a time and reading things like this help me to continuously pick up and move in the right direction! Yes I struggle and now that I know that I'm not the only one I can move on in a constant motion toward my goal. I WONT GIVE UP! Thanks again for the positive motivation.
- 4/30/2012 10:11:32 AM

I try to read and reflect on what I've read on a daily basis, and today I reflect on this blog! WOW! Retraining your brain to become the person you want to see, what would your ideal self do, give yourself the credit you deserve! Food for thought in my case! Thank you for inspiring us!
- 4/28/2012 9:25:46 PM

I truly like this blog and it helps me to think about how to ge myself back on track. I have weight goals that I truly want to reach. After reading this blog, I need to focus on being a person, who feels that they deserve to be better. I now need to work in shorter time slots and see my goals in smaller chunks.

Oh my goodness ,did I need this !!!!I love your attitude,I'm looking for mine..I only need to loose 15 lbs and it seems an everlasting battle and all the temptations that are thrown at us, but to loose like you have and still be sooooo positive...you are to be recomended !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- 4/28/2012 1:24:39 PM

I've been reading your blogs and following the advice you give and you are inspiring! We always think that we are the only ones facing challenges but if we look around we see that others have the same (or harder) challenges and they meet them head on with confidence. You are one of those people. Thank you for motivating me and others and keep up with your journey.
- 4/28/2012 12:54:27 PM

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