Sandra Lee's Semi-Homemade Life

If there's anyone who knows about making it through tough times, it's Sandra Lee. The Food Network star has had a life full of ups and downs, but she always manages to bounce back by surrounding herself with the people she loves most. Read on for her hard-won wisdom as well as her tips for money-saving meals.

Sandra Lee, the savvy host of Food Network's Semi-Homemade Cooking With Sandra Lee, plops down in a cozy chair by a giant marble fireplace. She's barefaced, her hair's pulled back, and she's wearing a purple shirt that makes her blue eyes even bluer. When REDBOOK asked Sandra to pick a favorite spot in New York City for the interview, this warm hotel restaurant was her choice. "This room makes me happy," she explains when we meet. "And that's the kind of room you should sit in. It's cozy and intimate."

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It's also full of chatty guests and piped-in jazz — which makes me worry that I'll miss some of what Sandra says. But she plucks the tape recorder from my hand and holds it to her mouth so I'll catch every word. It's not a diva-like, take-control gesture; it's a let's-get-it-done, here's-how gesture. And getting things done is what Sandra knows best. She learned early.

Sandra's childhood was far from enchanted. When she was 2, her mother, Vicky, abandoned her and her younger sister Cindy, leaving them in their grandmother's care. In Sandra's memoir, Made From Scratch, she writes lovingly about her grandmother Lorraine, who taught her to embrace each day and the possibilities that tomorrow could bring. "She was very can-do, someone who would just steamroll ahead and make things happen," remembers Sandra. "She showed me how things can be special and meaningful without costing a lot of money." Lorraine also welcomed Sandra and Cindy into her kitchen, letting the girls help out whenever she baked for church bake sales or to make gifts for family and friends.

Sandra's mother took her daughters back into her life when she remarried. She had three more children with her new husband, but the marriage was tumultuous and ended in divorce. Vicky's depression eventually caused her to stop mothering her children. So at age 11, the oldest of five, Sandra found herself taking charge of the household and the care of her siblings. Needing to stretch their food stamps and welfare checks as far as she could, she learned to be creative with cooking and even decorating the house, all the while attending school herself.

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The skills Sandra learned at 11 proved to be not only her family's saving grace but also the foundation of her enormously successful career. Today, the 42-year-old's Food Network show is top-rated, she's launching a bimonthly lifestyle magazine in February, and she's authored 17 books, including her latest, Money Saving Meals. After living through a divorce of her own, Sandra has found love with New York attorney general Andrew Cuomo. The couple have been together for three and a half years and share their lives with Andrew's daughters, twins Cara and Mariah, 13, and Michaela, 11.

"Raising myself and caring for my brothers and sisters allowed me the benefit of a lot of information that I wouldn't have otherwise gotten," Sandra says. "I had to be frugal, thoughtful, resourceful. I didn't have anyone to tell me, 'You can't.' When you're young, you think you can do anything, and that was really a gift. That's why I can never understand someone telling me 'no' today. 'No' just isn't an option."

How do you get through hard times when they come up for you today?

Sometimes I feel like I'm not only the engine but the caboose. I have to be in the front car and pull forward, and at the same time run around behind and push everybody along with me. I mean, it's not hard, but it's like, "Okay, let's go in this direction now. Let's move it along!" But when I'm really stressed out, I go to church. I light candles and sit and pray. And I'll ask myself, What's the lesson? Why am I going through this? There's got to be a reason I'm here. What am I supposed to learn?

John Huba

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It seems like your grandmother's can-do attitude really influenced your own approach to life.

Absolutely. When you talk about possibilities, there will be 200 reasons why something can't work, but you just need to find one way that it can. You can't stay in the negative — push forward. If something doesn't work, get rid of it and move on. I think any of us can do anything.

Do you find it hard to ask others for help because you had to do so much for yourself over the years?

Not anymore. I used to, but I kinda give it up now. I'm like, "Okay, this is what I need. I need help here." But I am also a believer that you have to show by example, and what I expect out of anybody else, I expect out of myself.

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Do you think the idea of community, people helping each other out, is especially important now as we're riding out this tough economy?

Yeah, and remember, being cost-conscious doesn't mean you have to give up quality or quantity. You just have to be resourceful about the end result you want. I have a club online called the Semi-Homemade Club, and the men and women in it — I can come up with 101 ideas, but they can come up with 1,001. [Club members share recipes, ideas, and solutions for home projects.] It's great to have a community of people who are all trying to help each other, where everyone is gracious and open-armed. That philosophy is more useful and beneficial than ever before.

The book includes things like what to stock to get the most meals out of your pantry, how to turn one meal into three to avoid waste — like you make a pot roast, then it becomes enchiladas, then pulled-meat sandwiches. You just have to be smart and realize where the values are. Even in the grocery store: Regular jars of spices are very expensive. You can find the exact same thing in a packet of McCormick pot-roast or beef-stroganoff seasoning and it'll cost you less than two bucks. Frozen vegetables are half the price of fresh. You save a lot if you grate a block of cheese instead of buying it pre-shredded. A bone-in ham costs less per pound than ground beef. Short ribs are only about 30 cents more per pound than ground beef. If you know how to shop, you can eat beautifully, like a king!

You don't have children, but you spend a lot of time with your nieces and nephews, right?

Yes, I have three nieces and six nephews, ages 3 to 17. They're on my show all the time — we talk, we text each other about everything, who's doing what, who's dating whom, do we like the girlfriend? I love doing special things for them and being Aunt Sandy. At Christmas time, I'm Aunt Sandy Claus. My siblings and I, we've always been a very tight five. It's like Party of Five, remember that show? I loved it. We really are the Party of Five.

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What sort of things do you do with your boyfriend Andrew's daughters?

We decorate, we do hair, we talk about clothes and watch movies. I'm a semi-homemade mom. I have three kids that are my sweetie daughters — and we don't say "stepmom," we say "weekend daughter." We have a good time.

Times like these are so important because the memories you're having today with your kids are their memories when they're your age tomorrow. We have to try to do what we can. And you always want to do more. We all feel the pressure, but then we push ourselves maybe too far and we aren't in the moment. We've all had those days. It used to be that the whole family gathered around for a TV show and that helped build a strong family unit. Now, everyone lives their individual lives. You need to come together because your foundation is your family and children need that support and the parameters that a family unit builds. That's how we have healthy children with high self-esteem. Teaching them a basic life skill like cooking is part of this. Little girls getting back to the kitchen and baking, and boys wanting to make my volcano cake, that's great. It's wholesome; it's bringing things back to the family and getting kids off the computer. It's grounding. That's what makes us strong.

You've said that every step of your life has led you to where you are today. Do you find yourself often looking back?

I don't really look back; I look forward. I know what I've been through. Being self-aware and understanding why you tick and what affects you is an important part of being an adult. I know REDBOOK thinks a lot about the question: How do you know when you've grown up? For me, it's when I can acknowledge what my part is in this world. We're all here for a reason and it isn't supposed to be self-serving. There's a bigger picture and a cause; it's about community. We have to keep our eyes on what's really important: our family, our friends, how we feel about ourselves, and what we're contributing. Those things are about today and every day.

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And people, and dogs! We asked Sandra to tell us all about what's especially near and dear to her heart.

HER DOG, ASPEN. "Aspen has to be at the top of the list. Just ask her! [Laughs] She just turned 15. She's an American Eskimo, all white. She's pure love; she is everything you want to feel about a family pet. I've had her forever. I got her when she was like 6 or 7 months old, and she just is — she's my child. She was a gift during a very rough breakup. I think she was a guilt gift, but she was the best thing that came out of that whole decade of my life. You know, dogs have such personality. I'm a total dog person."

HER NIECES AND NEPHEWS. "I love watching them grow up and learn things. I love watching the world through their eyes and seeing their excitement. I love their football games, their basketball games, their baseball games. I love doing the special things for them."

ANDREW. "He is the most amazing person I've ever met in every way. He is the most selfless, good-hearted, thoughtful person, engaged on every level with everyone. He's a real inspiration."

FRIED CHICKEN AND MASHED POTATOES. "Nothing beats my Grandma Dicie's fried chicken and mashed potatoes. I could have that or tacos — I love Mexican food — every single night of the week. Whenever I eat them, I look around me and say to whomever is there, 'Please forgive me for what I'm about to do.' It's true!"

HER CHARITY WORK. "The most important thing with charity work is that you do something that's meaningful to you and what you believe in. One of the charities I focus my energy on is Elton John's AIDS foundation. I admire him and everything he stands for. His charity helps children, too. The work he's done...he's just genius, and I don't use that word to describe anyone. I also work with Share Our Strength, a national organization that benefits local food banks and helps feed children."

HER MAGAZINE. "Sandra Lee Semi-Homemade is a creative wonderland. There are so many ideas I want to show and share. It's for the overextended homemaker and women who are multitasking. It's beautiful, not difficult. It's attainable, affordable, and aspirational."