And then it hit me…

As planned me and my former colleagues went out to Sakura after work to celebrate 3 of us who are leaving. It was soooo nice. And out of all of my coworkers the most important ones were there. Besides 1, they are all really good friends and I am so grateful to have worked with them.

Before we said our “so longs” we took a few pictures. Next thing you know the tears started falling. Once I got in the car I totally broke down. I literally cried for 15 mins before I left the parking lot. I cried all the way home. Thinking about how I’m about to leave home. Leave my baby and my sister. Even my mom whos not in her right mind anyway and says very hurtful things to me. I’ll miss my cat, but I’ll be back to get her.

I pulled up in front of my house and my son was out there. When I opened the door we walked in together and I broke down AGAIN. He hugged me so tight. I told him how much I loved him and how I hope and pray he doesn’t feel like I’m abondoning him. And how I just want him to be the best he could be. And how he’ll always be my baby and how I’m gonna miss him. He told me he understood all of this and that he was so happy for me and my new job. He’s becoming a man. He didn’t even cry. I was ok with that, I just needed him to know how much I love him.

Although I’m excited I think this will be the hardest thing I’ll have to do. Like wtf will I do without the people I love the most. I just feel so lost. Well, maybe not lost. Im never lost when God is leading the way. But sad. It’s a good thing that I can testify to the fact that sadness is not a long term feeling. Remembering that my glass is always half full really helps.

Thank you God for allowing me to have such good people in my life and allowing others to cross my path. I’m a better person because of this. I’ll be ok. I know I will…