May 8th

This morning Annie went to preschool and then to Lindsey’s while I went to Aunt Kendall’s funeral. It was a beautiful service and she was an amazing lady. So sweet.

Ashton had a bad day at school and then had a frustrating afternoon. He just wanted to relax and play some video games but the internet wasn’t working. This was the last straw and he lost his temper (this never happens) and he threw the remote control. It bounced off the ground and hit the TV. I was downstairs and he came running to me, in desperation, wanting me to go upstairs. When I first got up there and saw the damage, I was pretty upset that he had lost his temper, I was scared that Josh would be furious (he has been having some rough days at work..and all the crap at home on his list…sooo stressed out), I didn’t know what to do. Ashton was crying and crying and didn’t want anyone to come into the room to see what happened. He was so ashamed, so embarrassed, so sorry. He just kept saying “Mom, I’m soooo sorry!” When things calmed down, I tried calling Josh. It was SUPER strange but for the rest of the day, my phone would not make outgoing calls. SUPER. STRANGE. Ash just followed me around, sometimes holding onto my arm. He just wanted to be close to me. After a little while, Ash remembered all his money that he had saved his whole life (he has only bought a couple of books at the school book fairs). He said “MOM! I can pay for it! I’ll pay to fix it! How much was the TV?!” (He has about $130) I said sadly “About $3000”. At that, Ashton sank to his knees and started crying all over again. Oh my goodness, it broke my heart. We kept trying to get a hold of Josh. I knew Ash would feel a tiny bit better if he could just tell Josh about it and get that behind him. But my phone just wouldn’t work. The internet didn’t work. NOTHING. We were in a dead zone and it was so strange and frustrating. SO, I said “Ash, you’re going to have to do a ton of work to help pay for this so we might as well get started.” He was soooo happy and relieved when I gave him jobs to do. He and I worked for two hours together, carrying the huge pile of cedar shingles in the basement over to the apartment space. He worked so hard and he and I got splinters and scratches all over our arms. He was so happy once his repentance process was under way. This whole afternoon was such an amazing Atonement experience for me. Every bit of it can be likened to Jesus Christ and the Atonement and repentance. Josh is an incredible dad. He had a great talk with Ash when he got home and bought Ashton a punching bag that he can take his hormonal angst out on. I love Josh SOOOO MUCH!!!!