Have We Lost the Ability to Parent our Children?

Have we lost the ability to parent our children? Do some parents not even want to?
These are the questions which have been buzzing around my head since reading about the gang dressed as waiters trying to kidnap British children in Cyprus.

If you think, when parents put their children into child care in the UK, they can spend months researching their choice of setting. Every member of staff has to be CRB checked and the settings are usually secure.

Then parents jet off on their annual summer holiday and allow their children to go off with total strangers for most or part of the day.

While I am sure holiday companies CRB check their staff, surely the same cannot be true for the rest of the hotel staff. Or the other guests. You do not know who these people are or what their motives may be.

It seems some parents believe they deserve a break too whilst on holiday and while I can understand that to an extent, having children, by default, means you will never have a break again.

Why would anyone want to put their children in breakfast clubs, after school clubs, holiday clubs and then not spend every waking minute with their child when they go on holiday?
Is it because, due to work commitments and wrap around childcare that, as a society, we have lost the ability to parent our children?

I’ve heard excuses this week being knocked around like they need entertaining or they have so much energy, I couldn’t keep up.

Well is that not what being a parent is all about?

At any holiday resort, there are bound to be other families holidaying with children. Why can’t children just play together under the supervision of their parents rather than being dumped in a kids holiday club? Or shock horror, parents play with their kids?

Having children changed my life. I am lucky that my daughter’s first taste of childcare was at a preschool when she was three. If I had had to leave her with strangers at six months, I don’t think I could have coped.

I feel sorry for the parents who have no choice and have to leave their children in order for them to work.

I am also aware that many parents relish the break of working so that their brain is still occupied with things other than nappy changes and soft play but either way, in these circumstances, why would anyone want to then spend their precious family holiday time without having their children with them?

Rather than be brainwashed by society who accept a parent needs, space, think of the children who, let’s face it, could probably really benefit from having time with their parents.

Build a sand castle, splash in the pool, read books, eat together.

Don’t leave your children with strangers. Our children need their parents, the interaction, their time, to know who they are. Regain your parenting and your children.

8 Comments

I am lucky in the fact that even though I had to return to work when my little girl was 6 months I worked evenings, nights and weekends so I still got plenty of time with my little girl in the day and when she needed looking after she went to her Grandparents or other family members. We put her into a preschool at 2 for 2 mornings a week (she now does 3) as she wasn’t speaking and this was a last resort as we had tried everything else. It was one of the best things we did it has given my little girl so much confidence and she is now speaking but it also gives me chance to do the boring stuff (shopping and cleaning) whilst she isn’t there so all our time together is quality time. A Mum at the preschool who talks to me seems to be one of these parents who will palm off her child anywhere so she doesn’t have to parent him. She gets the free 15 hours a week as she doesn’t work and this is topped up to 18 hours from the preschool and she has now found money to pay for an extra session a week so at 2 years old her little boy does 2 full days and 3 half days, she doesn’t work and I fail to see how she needs him out of the house for that amount of time.

When we went away last month, as you point out it’s a family holiday so we spent all our time together as a family and it was so precious and I wouldn’t swap the memories for a little break whilst she wondered off. Our time was when she was in bed sat in the caravan playing games, watching TV and enjoying time together as a couple. My little girl came on leaps and bounds in just 7 days and where it made me feel guilty that I do have to work and miss out on some parts I know that she is safe, happy and always well looked after. Some parents will be unable to say that.

I am in complete agreement! I didn’t have children for someone else to look after them (I’m not talking about working parents, that’s a different issue) but having a family is all about shared experiences and how having children enriches your life x

Absolutely! I rarely do anything without my children. People think I’m mad and I’ve also had “sympathy”. Really?? Why have children if you don’t want to spend time with them? If we ever go on a package holiday *we won’t* and there is a kids club, I’d let my children go for a couple of hours if they really wanted to. But actually just the thought of a package holiday with a kids club is making my skin crawl a little bit. Lol I’m ranting… but what I’m trying to say is yes, I agree with you!xx

I totally agree. It amazes me after having worked in teaching how many parents want to abdicate responsibility for the smallest of parental tasks. If you want time off from your children I think people should take child free breaks. When we go away it is really hard to explain to our son that we don’t necessarily want him playing out like he sees other children able to do.

I totally agree with you! We absolutely love spending time as a family and always make the most of our time together. Why would this change when we went on holiday?! It’s the perfect time to spend quality time together! xx