You Can Judge A Film By Its Cover

May 24, 1986|By Jay Boyar

The motion-picture industry thrives on fantasy, half-truth and hype, hype, hype. In such an unreal atmosphere, what chance does simple honesty have?

And yet, when it comes to movie titles, an unexpected note of veracity may sometimes be sounded. It's just possible that the names of certain less- than-wonderful motion pictures were chosen with astonishing candor.

The Longshot, Tim Conway's recent comedy about horse racing, is a classic example of a title that doubles as a tip sheet; the picture never made it out of the starting gate.

Another unusually forthright title was attached to last year's Bad Medicine. In this Steve Guttenberg-Alan Arkin comedy about medical students, the producers never found the prescription for hilarity.

Speaking of Arkin, he must have a knack for getting himself involved in this sort of project. His lastest film was called Big Trouble. 'Nuff said.

And let's not forget Warning Sign, a germ-warfare action picture of 1985. Advertisements for this awful film featured its daunting title in huge block letters of the sort generally seen on signs reading ''No Admittance'' and ''Danger.'' How much more honest can you get?

Some people say that movies are given such titles not because the producers are particularly truthful but because a title that suggests misfortune implies that a film is amusing or even exciting. Maybe. But isn't it nicer to assume that the producers are acting, consciously or unconsciously, on noble impulses?

Looking ahead to the coming summer features, a few titles seem to be sending out ''warning signs'' already. A comedy starring Ted Danson and Howie Mandel is, for example, called A Fine Mess. And Arnold Schwarzenegger's latest action flick has been dubbed Raw Deal. There's also The Manhattan Project, starring John Lithgow as a nuclear scientist. Will anyone be surprised if it turns out to be a bomb?

Molly update: Not long ago I noted in this column that Molly Ringwald -- the carrot-topped star of Pretty in Pink, Sixteen Candles and The Breakfast Club -- was featured on the cover of Life magazine. Now this face of the '80s has turned up on the cover of the May 26th Time magazine.

The Time cover story offers Ringwald info-bits of all sorts: Molly's car is a white BMW, her favorite Los Angeles band is the Rave-Ups, and one of her favorite foods is ''catsup-drenched onion rings from which the onions have been eviscerated.'' We are also told that she has occasionally been seen with Warren Beatty (whose company is producing her next film, The Pickup Artist) and that, as a child, she was known to serenade her toes ''in a language of her own invention.''

Don't get me wrong: I like the 18-year-old actress well enough. It's just that I feel as if I've read enough articles about Molly Ringwald to last a Life-Time.

Still kissing: If you've been waiting to get your bimonthly calendar listing the films at the 21st Century Theater Lounge, you can stop checking the mailbox every day. The theater's management has discontinued the calendar so that fast-breaking movies can be quickly scheduled, and so that movies that are especially popular can be held over.

A good example of the latter is Kiss of the Spider Woman, starring Raul Julia and William Hurt, who won the best actor Oscar for his portrayal of a homosexual prisoner. This engrossing Brazilian movie (filmed in English) drew crowds last week and will continue at the theater at 7:15 nightly through Thursday.