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Jon Cryer, the longest man standing on Two and a Half Men

HOLLYWOOD, CALIF.—Jon Cryer is on a Warner Brothers sound stage, standing in front of the pullout couch that doubles as his bed in the CBS sitcom Two and a Half Men and pondering whether it would fit in his car.

With a one-hour series finale set for Thursday (9 p.m. on CTV) the question remains, what memento would he take from the set?

“I would never, ever take something from a great corporation that has been my benefactor,” said Cryer, bending down and speaking loudly into my microphone. “Never. Ever. Ever. Well, if I had to, let’s say it would be my sad lonely futon. But I’m thinking the Smithsonian might be wanting that.”

Cryer has played hapless dad Alan Harper for 12 seasons in one of the longest running sitcoms in television history. In the process, Cryer, the only actor to appear in every episode, has earned two Emmy Awards and a lot of backstage drama. That includes very public meltdowns by co-stars Charlie Sheen and Angus T. Jones (Jake, the half in Two and a Half Men), who called the show “filth” and left after 10 years.

“The Angus thing threw me,” Cryer, 49, said of Jones’s departure. “Did not see that coming.”

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How did Cryer get through those troubling transitions? “I felt like the writers always kept the integrity of Alan’s character,” he said. “As long as I was just showing up every week and just being Alan, it wasn’t that hard. The writers really did a lot more of the heavy lifting than I did.

“What a great ride this was,” he added. “Even when it was terrible, it was still really great. I have nothing but gratitude for this opportunity and this show.”

Cryer would later unveil a plaque renaming the historic Studio 26 on the Warner Bros. lot the Two and a Half Men Stage. Not a bad honour since it is also the former sound stage of The Waltons and movies such as Mildred Pierce and My Fair Lady.

Producers have been coy about whether Sheen will be in Thursday’s finale, although the episode title, “Of Course He’s Dead,” suggests he will.

“I would always like to see Charlie back, whether on the finale or in life,” Cryer said. “He was a great friend for eight-and-a-half years. . . . I honestly don’t know if he’ll be on our last show, but it certainly won’t be because people here don’t love him.”

Sheen was fired by creator Chuck Lorre in 2011 over erratic behaviour that included calling the influential producer of Mom, Mike and Molly and The Big Bang Theory a “contaminated little maggot.” Sheen was replaced by That ’70s Show star Ashton Kutcher.

“The worst thing about the period was to see a friend going through a serious drug issue and feeling helpless,” said Cryer. “It’s like when your uncle is going off the wagon or your incredibly highly paid co-star goes off the wagon. Or the worst possible thing that could happen, which might mean they’re not alive anymore.”

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Cryer said he wasn’t sure how the show was going to continue without Sheen.

“As all that stuff was falling apart, and as this human being was falling apart, you kept thinking something has to give. He has to hit that wall. And there was no wall. He never hit the wall,” said Cryer incredulously.

Kutcher managed to rejuvenate the show, although it was never the ratings monster it was under Sheen.

“It is so unusual to be able to build that with two different performers. Charlie and I had chemistry in our first audition for Chuck. . . . And when Ashton came in it was about building something new. They didn’t want that character from the ’70s show. It was about building something else and how my character could relate to that.”

“It all started with Two and a Half Men. Everything else came after that,” said Lorre.

Cryer said he had no immediate plans after the show ends, although he had just put the finishing touches on his autobiography, titled So That Happened.

“It’s a tell-most,” he said. His Two and a Half Men experience is “a chunk of it,” but the book covers his 30 years in show business, including “being tangentially a part of the Brat Pack”: a group of actors such as Rob Lowe, Demi Moore, Molly Ringwald, Sheen’s brother Emilio Estevez and others who came of age in John Hughes films.

“It’s mostly about a lot of strange moments,” Cryer said, “and I’ve had some strange ones in the business.”

Among the strangest? Cryer’s first feature was a Robert Altman movie “that was so bad it was never released.” The first scene called for a dove to poop on the actor’s head. Altman himself sat high up on a ladder, flinging fake bird poop at Cryer.

“That,” he said, “was my first day in show business.”

He also said he’d like to go back to doing a sitcom eventually.

“Many spinoffs have been suggested. My favourite that was presented to me is that I die and haunt the next people who move in. I said I’m not sure about that,” laughed Cryer.

“But you cannot help but be filled by gratitude for 12 years. That just about never happens. This is really an incredible experience to be a part of.”

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