Recently, Nicki Minaj remixed the original butt song by Sir Mix-A-Lot, “Baby Got Back,” into “Anaconda,” driving the point home with extreme twerking, blatant close-up shots of her booty, and cut-to-the-chase lyrics: “F*** those skinny b*tches in the club/I wanna see all the big fat a** b*tches in the mother****ing club.”

Butt it is the XX-rated Daily Beast coverage that really piled on. They expanded the glorification of skanky female butts to include the salacious male butt as well (although apparently the real credit for that goes to an ABC TV show called How to Get Away With Murder):

More than 20 million people tuned in to a broadcast network drama and saw two gay men have explicit sex. That’s a watershed moment.

“Watershed moment?” Well I suppose that’s one thing you might call it. Decent people would call it cultural rot. And yes, I blame Obama.

Anyway, back to my point: 2014 was a bumper year for the big butts. Don’t worry if you don’t have one yourself, as with all things of fashion, they will eventually ebb in size and stature. After all, it’s not like this is the first time that someone decided to exploit an ass for personal gain and profit.

Nor will it be the last. Butt in due course all the irrational exuberance surrounding the pulchritude of the big butt will wane and the world will revert to a saner time when people once again acknowledge the butt’s real purpose in life.

Until then, try not to be jealous:

And try to endure all the twerking with a sense of humor. Remember, the twerking crowd consists of people, with nothing else to recommend themselves, flaunting their assets - so to speak.

Lack of interest didn’t stop a good opportunity to hype a fake holiday however:

CBS Los Angeles - Organizers named the theme of this year’s parade “Perfect YOUR Temple,” or body. They said it was “a call to arms in our constant and ongoing efforts to `perfect’ our lives.”

What pray tell do you do when your temple’s already perfect?

The gwaride began at the corner of Crenshaw and Adams boulevards, headed south along Crenshaw to Leimert Park, where organizers held a “Black Lives Matter” rally.

All lives matter, it’s just that some matter more than others

Some participants walked the parade carrying signs underlining important issues to the community, such as police brutality, home foreclosures, judicial corruption, transparency in government and environmental racism.

Because nothing says “holiday” like community organizing for social justice. And “shopping.”

Poster boy for the “Pants Up Don’t Loot” backlash

During Kwanzaa, a candelabrum called a “kinara” is lit and ears of corn representing each child in the family are placed on a traditional straw mat.

Is it racist of me to think this vignette looks…racist?

African foods such as millet, spiced pepper balls and rice are often served. Some people fast during the holiday, and a feast is often held on the final night.

Okay, 1) uh, NO to the millet, spiced pepper balls and rice. 2) Fast? On vacation? That’s a joke, right? 3) Every night is a feast around here.

Kwanzaa was created in 1966 by Maulana Karenga, now chair of Africana Studies at Cal State Long Beach, in what he called “an audacious act of self-determination.”

Monday, December 29, 2014

S. Jay Olshansky, a public health professor at the University of Illinois, set out to prove that Big Guy isn’t aging any faster than the rest of us. And amazingly - as all well-constructed studies can - he proved it!

An Illinois professor set out to disprove the age old presumption that the relentless stress of America's top job makes our Commander-in-Chiefs age in fast-forward.

The conclusion: President Obama, like most presidents, is aging no differently from the rest of us.

Peevish Then, Peevish Now

What makes Olshansky an expert on aging? Well he’s a professor - of public health – so therefore he’s an expert on everything. Or at least everything that has anything to do with your health and welfare as determined by ObamaCare.

Anyway, I have no reason to dispute his analysis: most of the rest of us have aged about 25 years since Big Guy took office too. So I guess his hypothesis is about right.

Meanwhile, what about Putin: the man who was, then wasn’t, then was again President of Russia? He’s been in office now for 14 years. In fact when he first became President, Bubba was still in office! Oddly enough, he doesn’t seem to have aged a day – who’s the Big Dawg now!

Who’s your daddy?

Anyway, as BO ages at the same rate as the rest of us, our MO seems to have discovered the fountain of youth: just keep those old hostilities alive! And festering. That way no matter what they say about you, you can just throw it right back in their faces. That’s the price they pay for succumbing to the racist stereotype of the “angry black woman.”

"I haven't used the veto pen very often since I've been in office," Obama said in an NPR interview airing Monday. "Now, I suspect, there are going to be some times where I've got to pull that pen out."

Or, as they say around Washington, when you’re done, just stick a pen in it. Or is that a fork?

In any event, I think it’s done.

“Now can I just eat my waffle?”

NOTE: I WOULD LIKE TO HUMBLY ACCEPT AND THANK DOUG ROSS FOR MY 2014 FABULOUS 50 BLOG AWARD IN THE SPECIAL CATEGORY, “THE BEST FIRST LADY BLOG. Relentlessly entertaining coverage of First Family hypocrisy”

THANKS DOUG! I AM PROUD TO BE A RECIPIENT OF THIS PRESTIGIOUS AWARD FOR SIX YEARS IN A ROW! AND CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL THE OTHER WINNERS AS WELL, EXCELLENT BLOGGERS ALL.

Sunday, December 28, 2014

Detroit — As 2014 enters its final week, the city is on pace to record its fewest homicides since 1967.

The fewest homicides recorded since 1967 – the year of the infamous Detroit riots that began the long slow decline of a great American city. That is a major accomplishment. Only 298 this year, as opposed to the 281 recorded in 1967. This isn’t as impressive when compared on a per capita basis, as there are about a million (literally) fewer people living in Detroit now than there were in ‘67, butt still - not bad for city whose obituary has not only been written butt published.

And it’s not just murders that are down:

Most other violent crimes, including carjackings and robberies were also on pace to drop in 2014, although justifiable homicides are up, from 16 year-to-date in 2013 to 22.

What can we thank for this completely unexpected decline? Community organizers coming to town to advise the city that water is a human right? Yeah, probably not.

"People feel the need to protect themselves," Craig said. "Maybe that's helping drive down robberies: Maybe the criminals are afraid they'll be confronted by someone who has a gun."

“There’s a number of CPL (concealed pistol license) holders running around the city of Detroit. I think it acts as a deterrent. Good Americans with CPLs translates into crime reduction. I learned that real quick in the state of Maine.”(Police Chief James Craig on WJR 760 AM)

So while some across the nation still vilify the men and women who comprise our police forces that maintain a boundary between chaos and order,

in Detroit they would like to have a few more cops, as the lingering effects of bankruptcy has left them without funds to adequately police the streets anymore. Because in Detroit when you call 911 for help more likely than not you’ll have to get in queue.

So follow the advice of your Police Chief and arm up Detroit, because your thin blue line is thinner than ever:

and they can use your help.

Remember, when your life’s on the line, a speeding bullet is faster than 911

IN MEMORY OF OUR FALLEN PEACEKEEPERS THIS HOLIDAY SEASON

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God. – Matthew 5:9

Saturday, December 27, 2014

Although he announced his plans earlier this month, we were hoping against HOPE that he would change his mind. So it is with a heavy heart that I must report that the rumors are true - we are losing chef Sammie Kass; he’s moving to New York. To be with his new wife, Ms.NBC news hostess, Alex Wagner. She’s a former political activist and music-magazine editor, so she’s probably got a great future at Ms.NBC.

Who knew we would one day live in a world where talking heads of 3rd rate cable networks would be considered a “television-news star” and Big Guy’s chef would be known as a “consummate White House insider.”

And while it was a blow when we lost our pie chef, Bill Yosses,

Hey, how would you like a job in the White House?

losing Sammie will be like losing a member of the family. So let’s spend a few moments to look back on Sam’s awesome accomplishments, beginning with his humble days back in Chicago as personal chef to the Wons when Lady M was a big shot Vice President for “Community Affairs” for the University of Chicago Hospitals and Big Guy was just the Jr. Senator from Illinois, on his way to being America’s Jr. President.

Apparently Tony Rezko threw Sammy in as part of the package deal on the Wons’ new house in Hyde Park which also included a spare lot and special pricing.

“Sam Kass has been a fixture at the executive mansion, serving up nutrition policy alongside meals for Obama, his wife, Michelle, and daughters Malia and Sasha. He was not only their personal chef but senior adviser for nutrition policy, giving him a seat at the table where administration officials hashed out everything from updated food labels,”

Because…bigger is better? No, wait, that’s not right.

“to new requirements for healthier school lunches.”

"I love this family and believe in everything the president and first lady are doing and this has been the greatest job of my life,”

Friday, December 26, 2014

So; another Christmas goes in the record book. That means today is Boxing Day – the day originally designated to give your servants a small token of your appreciation.

Now days it’s just another excuse to go shopping to pick up stuff on sale that you don’t need, don’t really want and will eventually end up in the Goodwill or Salvation Army box.

So shop with abandon!

It’s also the first day of Kwanzaa, celebrated with abandon around here, along with all the other Winter Holidays. Yesterday the Wons made their annual visit to the troops and issued their annual Christmas greetings to the nation.

They will be issuing their annual Kwanzaa greetings later today, and I suspect it will be similar to past messages such as this one, from 2010:

"Michelle and I extend our warmest thoughts and wishes to all those who are celebrating Kwanzaa this holiday season. Today is the first of a joyful seven-day celebration of African-American culture and heritage. The seven principles of Kwanzaa — Unity, Self-Determination, Collective Work and Responsibility, Cooperative Economics, Purpose, Creativity and Faith — are some of the very values that make us Americans."

Even though many, including Moonbattery pointed out at the time that those values make you more Synbionese than American as they are the same concepts symbolized by the seven deadly cobras in the flag of the socialistSymbionese Liberation Army:

Actually, these are the values that would make you not American, but Symbionese. They Kwanzaa was invented by 1960s black power radical Ron Everett, aka Maulana Karenga. Even in the swamps of hippie era radical politics, Karenga stood out as a particularly unsavory character. His United Slaves outfit murdered rival Black Panthers, and Karenga himself was convicted of torturing women, using vices and hot soldering irons among other implements. Kwanzaa was created explicitly to divide Americans by alienating blacks from the Christian holidays that unite us.

Anyway, did you notice that Lady M wore her usual holiday sparkle headband to greet the troops?

She wears it every year: here she is in 2012 on the phone with NORAD tracking Santa’s progress (note to self: a landline? To NORAD? Maybe it’s time to upgrade our technology.)

So I don’t think you should try to read anything into it, it just makes her feel festive - and young. And rich. Which is why she has so many old boxes she can afford to donate to the little people, in the original spirit of boxing day.